Freedo’s Letters

== Dear Suzy #1 ==
Dear Suzy,
Hey sis. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written one of these. I know you’re wishing that you could kick my ass for slacking off, but I promise I have a good reason.
You and Lily always want me to use my “abilities” for the “greater good” and all that. Well your brother isn’t a total jerk, and I’ve decided to follow your advice (even if it has something to do with you guys and your stupid puppy dog eyes). God, sometimes I still get confused when Lily puts on that sad face. You two look so alike, I could swear it’s you looking at me and not her.
Anyways, back on topic. I was just… in the right place at the right time I guess. There was this big, ugly alien dude, and this other super, Olivia, just happened to be where he landed. This huge group of supers had been tracking this ship I guess, and had dispatched one of their best to deal with it.
To be honest, I don’t know why I joined in that fight. This dude was at least eight feet tall, and a helluva lot more jacked than your dumb brother is. I don’t know if it was seeing him picking on all those random people, or if it was seeing Olivia rush headlong into the fray, but I followed her in, and god did we make a good team. At least, until that green dude started winning. I guess the dispatched super decided that me and Olivia had been pounded into the dirt enough, because you wouldn’t believe who showed up. Fucking Spectre. You remember Spectre right? You used to dress up as her for Halloween. God you were such a dork…
I guess Spectre saw the same thing in me that you did, because she offered me a membership with her team. I wanted to say no, but I figured Lily would never forgive me if I didn’t join, so I agreed. I was officially a part of the Big Team. Joining that team was probably the best decision I’ve ever made.
Groundbreaker, Biohazard, and Skysong, some of the guys on the team, wanted to make me feel welcome or something, so they brought me out to this night club. That was a terrible idea. These weird guys jumped the DJ, some vigilantes showed up and stopped them, then tried to rob the club themselves. I may have gone a tad bit overboard and de-powered everyone in the room for a bit, which let them get away, although we did set up a pretty nice ambush later, and I think I’d have made you proud during that.  Although, me and Groundbreaker did repossess some of the missing money, you didn’t really think I’d go full hero, did you?
Y’know, I never really realized how busy these heroes are. You’d think the these baddies would get tired of being thrown in jail, but each one seems to think they’re gonna be the one to beat the heroes. Honestly, some of them do get pretty close, like those things from the Spirit World.
You remember that one joke; “You never forget your first time”? Well I don’t think I’m ever going to forget my first time in the Spirit World. I figured it would be a nice day to just kick back at the HQ, y’know? Maybe mess with some of the teammates and the likes. What I didn’t plan on was Jake’s dead ghost grandma to appear in the middle of the HQ and send us all on a mission to help her ghost friends.  It was only meant to be me and Jake, plus Gabe and Skysong, but then some dude they call Side-Step (he’s actually pretty cool once you get to know him) fell into the portal Jake had opened, and we had to bring him along. You might expect Jake’s grandma to be an old lady, but hot damn is she smokin’. Like I’m talking “Marilyn Monroe in her prime” smokin’. Anyways she told us something about some big bad guy stealing eyes and whatnot from the spirits, and how we had to stop whatever it was taking things.
Once we’d gotten done with “interviewing” Mouse and Falcon, the plague doctor looking fella decided to pop by and try to kill us. I was nearly dropped into a blender kind of thing (careless, I know, you don’t need to chew me out), but Side-Step took a dive and phased me through just in time (pretty careless of him too, feel free to chew him out). I mostly just distracted the doctor for the rest of the battle, since I actually couldn’t hurt him with my powers, but eventually Gabe managed to fry the POS into some other kind of existence. At the end of it all, we saved the day, and I got Jake’s grandmas number and we all went back to the HQ to debrief with Super Crisp.
I guess things kind of slowed down for a bit after that until Skysong‘s brother decided he wanted to visit his sister. Apparently, Skysong is from a planet with a warrior culture so fierce that they make the Spartans look like pacifists. Their whole school system is based around fighting, so obviously he wanted to challenge the people Skysong found so interesting. Unfortunately, I was one of those people. We managed to talk him into dueling us way out in some mountain range in Asia. They don’t lie about the cold there, I’ve still got frostbite. It actually turned out to be an easy fight, since we had Biohazard (remind me to learn his real name at some point) with us, and he can get ruthless. He ended up poisoning the alien‘s weird space dog, and one thing led to another and suddenly Thensirkivius was off to his home planet to “rebirth” fido or whatever. Anyways, not the best day of superheroing, but nobody said it was a pretty business (they also didn’t say I’d need to fight aliens three times my size that my powers are useless against).
Anyways, that brings me to the most recent mission, and the worst one yet. It was easy. It was such an easy mission, almost too easy. We were just investigating a small GREY facility for some runaways. Just a small recon team of myself, Jake, Olivia (Rekken), and Dominik. Getting in was easy, but they caught us on the catwalk when we went in from the roof. Dom and Jake managed to brute force the first relatively unarmed guards out of the equation, but more followed. Half a dozen or so GREY operatives barged in with these weird flamethrower looking guns, but we had no idea what they actually did. Turns out, GREY has figured out how to nullify powers with a foamy spray, and that’s what it was loaded with. Dom took out 2 or 3 of them, and Olivia got the guns off of another 2, but they exploded on her and she had to wash off the foam in a vat in the corner of the roam.  
Jake and Dom tag teamed the rest, but they got covered in the power killer foam, and Jake got captured by a retreating soldier. I know I couldn’t have done anything, but it still hurts that I let a teammate get captured (but don’t tell the team that though, I got a reputation to uphold). Dom and Olivia managed to get cleaned off (thank god that vat didn’t have any bad side effects), and we followed Jake’s trail deeper into the facility. We found him in some basement, chained up and being interrogated by a soldier and a scientist. That’s when it really hit the fan. I acted too quickly and without a real plan, Dom lost it on the soldier, and the scientist snuck over to his console. This test tube rose up out of the ground real ominous like, and out stepped this teenage girl. They had a teenager, just a kid, in a fucking test tube. Like she was a fucking science fair project. And I hate myself for what I did next, I was so scared that she was a GREY agent, I fucked with her head even more. Made her think I was the scientist and ordered her back into the tube. Olivia and Jake coaxed her out, but Dom pissed her off in a fit of rage, and they nearly got into it. I tried to calm her down, but I think it was Jake who finally got through to her. He’s a whole lot better at that kind of stuff than I am. I’m hoping I can learn a thing or two from him. 
She said her name was Gwen, and her father was Lancelot. Turns out, before I joined the team, Lancelot had gone on a bit of a rampage slaughtering GREY facilities. Nobody really knew why, at least until now. This poor girl was stolen from her father, and her father was arrested for trying to save her. Jake and Super Crisp said there are better ways to go about saving somebody, but I’m not sure they realize how it would’ve felt for Lancelot, knowing his daughter was probably being tortured at the hands of these monsters. And Gwen, she was picked apart and spliced together who knows how many times. The only visible side effect were the wings sticking out of her back, but god knows what else they did to her. I swear, when I went into her head, I could feel a tidal wave of emotions. I’ve never felt anything like it before, I could sense her suffering. Anyways, I’m getting off topic here, and you’re probably getting bored.  When we got back to base, Super Crisp told Jake that she was under no circumstances to see her father.  Me and Olivia didn’t agree with that, and things got kinda heated between me and Jake. I suppose I owe him an apology.  Remind me to do that the next time I see him.
Y’know, mom made that cake you love. What do you say I steal us a couple slices and we go have a picnic.  You know, like old times. Yeah... that sounds like a good idea, I’ll go get the cake, and then I can drop this off at the same time. Hopefully the cake makes up for us not talking for a while.
Anyway, rest easy little sis.
Your handsome brother, Jackson
== Dear Suzy #2 ==
Dear Suzy,
I’m sorry sis. You wanted me to be a hero. Somebody you could look up to. But I’m no hero though. I couldn’t save anyone.
It was just supposed to be a dance. The Shaper gave me a lift, and we met Keith there. Hell, I even made out with Jessica Hazel. God I wish it were a normal dance. Fucking GREY. They pulled their biggest gig yet. They attacked dozens of locations. They filled the air vents with a pink gas, and started icing everyone in. The four of us got out, but everyone else ended up trapped. Keith lent Jess his gas mask, I need to thank him for that. I shouldn’t have brought her to ventilation control. I don’t know what I was thinking. There were two normal GREY guards with ice rifles, and one icicle lady. I learned later that there was more than one icicle. I let myself get distracted, my illusion failed, and one of the mercs fired an icey liquid at me and Jess. I pushed Jess out of the way. I thought that if I was going to die here, I wasn’t letting Jess go with me. I screwed up. I lived, the liquid just froze me temporarily, but Jessica… her gas mask came off, and she got a lungful of the smoke.  The smoke… it changes people, mutates them. It turns them into something only half human. She’s missing. I tried to save her, but instead I gave her a future that could be worse than death.
And Shaper. Poor Shaper. After I got blasted, Shaper and Keith went all out trying to stop the smoke from getting everyone in the building. They got her down, but she had a suicide vest or something. Shaper threw himself on her, took most of the blast and all the shrapnel. They had to take him down like a sick and twisted portrait. He’s gone Suzy.
Mom and Lily are safe. I convinced them to leave Halcyon for a while. At least until things calm down a bit. They’re staying at Aunt Casey’s up North. I bet Lily’s playing with the lambs right about now. You don’t know how much I wish I was with them right now. But I can’t leave. Not now. Not for a long time.
It’s my fault Jessica turned. And if I didn’t let myself get hit, I could have saved Shaper. Maybe if I did things differently, I could have stopped the dance from being gassed in the first place. I need to make up for that.
We’re just kids with powers. Of course we think we’re immortal. You should have been that wake up call for me.  It took Shaper, Jess, and the rest of those poor kids. I failed them, I failed this godforsaken city, and I failed you.  I’m a terrible person, and an even worse hero. I’m so, so sorry Suzy. I hope you can forgive me at some point. I promise you though, I’m not stopping. I haven’t felt this bad since you left. Every fibre of my being is telling me to turn away from this hero business. That I’m just going to make everything worse. And I might. But I can’t stop now. I’m not stopping until those missing kids are returned. Until Shaper‘s death has meaning. Until I can give Jess her life back. I’m not stopping until GREY is nothing but a pile of ash.
I don’t know what you think of me right now, and I don’t think I’m ever going to find out. If Heaven and Hell exist, I’ve got a one way ticket to the latter. The things I want to do to whoever is behind this is enough to send me down that highway. I’m gonna stop those bullies, and when I’m through, they’re not going to bully anybody else.
And Suzy, if you see Shaper on the spirit side of things, tell him I’m sorry. It doesn’t make up for letting him die, but I don’t think anything ever can. Just, tell him I’m sorry, and that if he wants to blame anybody, he can blame me. I don’t mind.
I love you sis, rest easy.
Jackson
== Dear Suzy #3 ==
Dear Suzy,
I got out of the hospital last week and I’ve been crashing at the Big Team base since then. Today was the first day of school, and by god are first days awful. So I wake up and Gwen's hogging the bathroom, then when we’re walking to school we run into Olivia. Good enough right? Then we get there and there’s two team newbies in our homeroom. Could be better yeah? Then the substitute homeroom teacher assigns me to babysitting duty for the two new kids. Turns out, neither of them had ever been to Big High. One of them, Rhi Rhi, is Gwen’s cousin. The other one, Alex, is a pretty big nerd but she’s also pretty funny. I may have let slip to the newbies that there’s some romantic tension going on between Olivia and Gwen. And by let slip, I mean I flat out told them, because everyone, except for Alex because she is the most oblivious hero I have ever met, could see the tension.
Gwen tensed up a bit though, I think I might have fucked up. I’ll have to remember to apologize at some point. Do me a favour and remind me, will ya?  She scares me too much, and I kinda like her. She’s badass and funny, not nearly as badass and funny as me, but she’s up there.  You know that nothing’s ever gonna top your big brother in badassery.
Anyways school was pretty boring. Class divide between regular students and transformed, threatening transformed, cheating on a test. You know, the usual stuff. It’s a shame Crispy was the supply teach though, he’s the third teacher to catch me cheating. And here I was setting my new record.
Turns out Crispy’s sister is the principal, so he was substituting as a favour. He wasn’t there for a good time though, because he had a job for us to do. He wanted us, five completely human looking humans and robots, to infiltrate a “Transformed Anonymous” meeting. I wish I could make this shit up. Why he didn’t send, I don’t know, one of the actual transformed to this meeting is beyond fucking me, but that meant I had to illusion up me and Alex as transformed and send the newbie into the fray with me.
Surprisingly, the newbies trial by fire didn’t end with us being mauled to death by manbears, and we actually got some pretty good information. Not only did we find out about a large refugee style camp for transformed in the national forest, but we also managed to get into an attempted murder on a gas station employee later that night.
The girls decided that we should probably help the station worker, which meant I had to head into the fire with the newbie again. At least she wasn’t the only newbie on the front lines this time. Rhi Rhi had to use her fancy magic to disguise herself as the gas station cashier, so when the lizard leading the gang of animal-human hybrids went to grab her, things nearly got out of hand.
Thankfully, Alex is pretty smart for a newbie. She made up some bullshit excuse and managed to get the transformed to leave us alone, which I won’t lie, was pretty dope.
Then we had to deal with that damned attendant. You’d think with all the shit going on that the city would band together. No, instead we get roving gangs of Transformed, and on top of that, we also have to deal with these useless fucks hanging up anti-Transformed signs everywhere. It’s fucking sickening.
Somehow... Some-fucking-how Alex, Gwen, Rhiannon, and Olivia knew what to say to convince this asshole that: “hey, maybe hating transformed isn’t a good thing.” and he promised to take down the signs. One down, only thousands left to go…
Hey Suzy, you ever watch something happen and just think to yourself like, “Dude, you really shouldn’t have said that.” Well, during our debrief, Gwen brought up Lancelot again. Shit like “He’s my father” and “When can I see him,” yada yada. Crispy decided it would be a good idea to tell Gwen that it wouldn’t be good for anyone if she saw her father. Gwen, being an angsty teenage badass like yours truly, may have been a little angry at this, and she may have gone to punch Crispy.
Also Rhiannon may have stepped between Gwen and Crispy.  Yeah. Gwen fucken layed her cousin out right into Crispy. Then she dropped her sword and ran out crying. I took that as my cue to leave. Got you some flowers on my way home, I’ll drop them off with this letter. As much as I hate the thought, I find myself going back to this feeling of being glad that you don’t have to deal with everything that’s going on in Halcyon now.  Sometimes I wish mom had lived in Montana or something. Nothing bad ever happens in Montana…
Your favourite idiot,
Jackson
== Dear Suzy #4 ==
Dear Suzy,
Have you ever had that kind of day where it feels like everything changes direction over and over again?  Yesterday was one of those days.
Same crew from Crispy’s mission last week, except this time Rekken must have been installing updates or something, because she was a no show. We got word of an armoured van in a high speed chase, so Rhiannon, Gwen, and Alex (in Gwen’s arms) flew to the truck. Do you realize how hard it is to “borrow” a bike and pedal partway across the city to catch an armoured truck? It’s not easy. Gwen dropped Alex onto the truck, and now I’m a firm believer that Alex is either incredibly brave or absurdly stupid. She molded her skin into the same material as the truck, swung in the back through a hail of machine gun fire, and promptly got shot the fuck out by the machine gun. God damn did it look sick though. Rhiannon tried to catch her with sorcery or something, but she ended up teleporting Alex halfway into the truck, with her legs going through the bottom.
Don’t worry too much though, I stepped in and tricked the driver into ramming their truck into a concrete wall, which kinda fucked over the vehicle pretty good.  We captured the crooks, and someone launched the van-rigged-to-explode into the sky, which saved my handsome mug from becoming swiss cheese.
When the cops came, so did Redstreak and this French dude name Silencer. Apparently Silencer is some superhero from France, and the commissioner called him in to deal with some sort of espionage problem or something. You know how little I pay attention.
Anyway, Silencer had us investigate a roof, and we found a sniper nest.  Turns out, the crooks had employed a sniper as a plan B. Silencer recognised the snipers work, and identified him as Orbital. Apparently, this Orbital dude can control freakin gravity. I can do neat magic tricks sometimes, and this due literally controls gravity.  I’m starting to think that if there’s a God, these powers are him playing a game with me.
God I keep getting off track. Silencer directed us to a gala taking place that evening, which he figured Orbital would be targeting because of the high standing people attending.  Orbital *was* there, and he was going after either Commissioner Gordon or councilman Rodriguez. Shit kicked off real fast. The lights dropped, the councilman and commissioner disappeared, and the waiters pulled out guns.  Gwen flooded some of the goons out of action with booze, and Redstreak used her power mimicry to help me cast up some spider monster illusions. Alex put the nail in the coffin with some excellent acting, claiming she has “arachnophobia,” whatever that means.
When we finally got Rodriguez and Gordon away from Orbital, and Orbital actually inside the building, Gwen thought it would be a good idea to cut his fucking arm off. Gwen thought it’d be a good idea to put a dude, who controls gravity, through an immense amount of pain. Needless to say, it was a terrible idea and he immediately went about crushing the entire fucking building like an absolute madman. If I didn’t shut down his powers fast enough, I’m pretty sure I’d be flatter than a piece of paper right now.
Fuck dude, amputations with teenagers wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part came when Rodriguez thanked us before peeling out in a fucking GREY limousine. I don’t know how he’s connected to GREY, but I do know they do not send those out for just anyone. He’s gotta be a top dog, I just don’t know how. I swear I’m going to get to the bottom of it at some point.
Your favourite superhero,
Jackson
== Dear Suzy #5 ==
Dear Suzy,
Today sure was something.  It seemed like everybody had a mission for us. Cyclone sent us to see some anteater doctor, who sent us to see the transformed camp, who then sent us on a mission to help pass a vote with the city council. Poor transformed were probably gonna get voted out of their village by people who didn’t care where they ended up. The five of us, me, Zip, Alex, Hesperus, and Rescue, went over to the council building. Getting past the secretary was a little difficult, but when we got past them, Alex’s mom filled us in on what was going on. Apparently the vote was tied 2-2, Gordon was the swing vote, and Rodriguez was in his office trying to persuade Gordon at that very moment. While the rest of the team, save Alex who was running an errand to keep her civilian cover up, was trying to get through Gordon’s personal secretary, I cloaked myself and snuck past to eavesdrop on Rodriguez. I didn’t get to hear anything important before the snake left.  Hell, he even had the gall to tell the secretary to stand down and let the rest of the team through.
Gordon went on some bullshit tangent about how it isn’t the Transformed’s land, how it would bring down the property value, and how the Transformed bring nothing but crime to the community. Gabe blew up at him pretty good. So good, in fact, that security had to drag him out. Rescue and Zip apologised and followed him out too.
Now that I think about it, I probably should have followed them out. Instead I threatened the commissioner and took his badge, telling him he could have it back when he earned it. Then I cloaked up and followed the gang out. This makes me a wanted criminal now, doesn’t it?
Anyways, Alex got me to illusion up everyone before the council meeting, and she managed to talk her mom into letting us speak there.  On a normal day, that’d be it. We’d give a great speech, the council would vote, the Transformed would keep their village, and it wouldn’t hurt to lay down in the morning. However, we do not have normal fucking days. Of course some giant fuckoff crab monster would tear a hole in the council building, grabbing Gordon and Alex’s mom. Of course Alex grabbed her mom, but Rescue decided that punching a giant. Fucking. Crab was a good idea. Pro tip, it wasn’t.  Apparently crab monsters have acid inside them, so when Rescue broke the arm with a punch, Gordon fell free but Rescue got absolutely doused in acid.  If he didn’t have a healing factor he would’ve been fucked up. He wasn’t getting up for a while though.
Zip, Hespy, and Parrot. They fight so damn fast it’s hard to keep up. To be fair, I was too busy ordering Rodriguez to get the civvies out of the building, and threatening him that if he didn’t, I’d find him and skin him alive. Little harsh? Probably. True? Absolutely. After I was sure Rodriguez was leading the innocents out, I finally stepped into the fight. Turns out it’s fairly easy to trip up a crab who has had a couple legs blown off when you’ve got illusions. Monster fell real hard. Gabe finished it off with some of his sun god powers, and there really wasn’t much left of it other than a scorch mark. The council will reconvene at an undetermined date, which means the Transformed are still in danger. But hey, at least we kinda saved the day.
I’m still thinking about what Rodriguez said to me when I had him. He swore up and down that it wasn’t his creature… He said it was probably Crimera. I don’t know who Crimera is, but if they have a bone to pick with the transformed, they’ve got a bone to pick with me, and if I can’t stop them illusions, I’ll sure as shit stop them with my bad jokes.
The one who isn’t your sister,
Jackson
==Dear Suzy #6==
Dear Suzy,It happened again. I don’t know how I keep doing this. It’s like I’m a fucking villain. It was supposed to be an easy mission. Just shadow Dr. Beats to confirm the worm entity had left him. He was performing at a bar, someplace called the Speakeasy.  I got in with a fake id and started letting loose while the rest of the group figured out a way inside. By the time they finally got inside, I was definitely feeling it. When Keith grabbed me and Gabe to link up with Casper by Dr. Beats room, I was feeling tipsy. By the time we got there, Casper was already heading inside with the smoke monster. That monster terrified him and he held himself enough to march on in there. There aren’t many on the team as brave as he is, I hope he knows that. Keith and Gabe tried their best to help him, and I tried to help too. I illusioned up myself into a man made of fire, and started walking towards the snake. It jumped away from everyone else and coiled itself around me instead.It was everywhere. It was in my mouth, my lungs, my throat. I could feel it in my nose. I couldn’t hear anything through the smoke pouring into my ears. I couldn’t even see through the swirling red smoke. I lost it. I thought I was dying and I let down my barriers. I turned off every single power in the room. Gabe felt it first, his magic disappearing, leaving him hollow and dropping him to the ground. I never realized just how big a part of him his powers are. Keith has all kinds of toxic things flowing around his body, so when his antibody power got cut, his body started killing itself, burning holes into organ after organ. Casper got it the worst though. He’s somewhere between the living and the dead, so when he lost his powers, he probably died. Nobody knows, he doesn’t remember anything, Keith and Gabe were blind with pain, and I was dealing with the red beast wrapped around me.The snake wasn’t unaffected either.  It could no longer maintain its physical manifestation, freeing me from my prison. Gabe got his powers back fast enough to banish the red beast to some other realm. I almost traded three of my teammates to save my own life. How could I do that to them?When we were waiting for an ambulance, Keith and Gabe told me how much I frightened them, and just how close I came to killing them. When Keith and Gabe got on the ambulance, me and Casper went to another bar to try to relax a bit. After a few drinks and more than one joint, he said the same things they said.  I didn’t say anything, but I’m sure I had agreement written all over my face.I hate that I agree with them. I joined this team to help people. Instead I’ve cause trauma after trauma. I got Jessica turned. I got Shaper killed, and I nearly added Gabe, Keith, and Casper to that list. These powers aren’t a gift, they’re a curse. If I lose control again, I might end up with the entire teams blood on my hands. I’m scared Suzy… I’m scared and I miss mom and I miss Lily and I miss you… I’m just so fucking scared.
== Dear Suzy #7 ==
Dear Suzy,
They hit again.  Those ice cold bitches that killed Shaper, they came back. We were on a field trip to the school, me, and Alex. Dom and Squire had ended up at the museum as well. We got halfway through the tour before we walked into the frosts, along with some GREY goons, trashing the new dinosaur exhibit. The only good part of the day was when we were taken hostage, and some kid said they had to use the washroom. I guess the rest of us had the same thought, because we all claimed to need to go as well. In reality, we just threw on our hero suits and got to business. I guess the kid was actually Spectre, because she walked out of the stall the dude had walked into. I should have caught their name…
The easy part was dealing with the escorts sent to guard us. There were only four, which is a walk in the park for us.  What isn’t a walk in the park though, is dealing with two separate large groups of GREY cronies.  If we wanted to have a chance in hell at saving anybody, we had to split up. Me and Dom paired off to take care of the hostage situation, while Spectre, Parrot, and Squire went off to deal with the exhibit.
Unsurprisingly, a dragon does short work of a couple well armed GREY operatives. I made the guards invisible to each other, so Dom had free range in the room.  All I had to do was take care of the one guard on the far side of the room. Things got out of hand, and I may have called Dom a pussy, before promptly smashing a snowglobe over the guards head. We decloaked, and told the supply teacher, who looked extremely familiar, to lead the students outside.
What was surprising, though, was getting to the second team, and watching Squire shoot the fucking ice tank on the Ice Bitch’s back. These rookies, they’ve all got potential, and some of them are better than the old breed, but a few of them definitely need some work.  Squire is definitely not an exception. How could he do something so fucking stupid. Shaper died because of an ice explosion, and Squire thinks it’s a good idea to set one off in a room full of his teammates? Do these rookies not read the fucking reports we make? He could have killed every single one of us. Nah, Spectre, Parrot, and Dom don’t deserve to die so young, because somebody made a mistake. None of my friends do.
We need to be more careful.  All of us. GREY caught us with our pants down two months ago, and now there’s an irreplaceable hole in the team. I’ve made mistakes, I won’t deny that. Hell, I nearly killed three teammates.  But I know I’m a fuck up. Ever since then, I’ve been setting up contingency plans in case it gets that bad again.  Squire almost seemed proud of blowing up that ice tank. That cocky bastard is proud that he could have shredded each and every one of us to fucking bits, because he didn’t take the time to read Cyclones reports on the Freya.
I want to win.  I so desperately want to believe that we can beat GREY, but it’s not looking good. There’s so many of them, and so few of us. I can’t do much. GREY is run off the backs of the goons. Power negation doesn’t work on them, and illusions only go so far. They’re finicky too. Ever since you left it’s been harder to use them.  My head gets cloudy and I can’t think straight, the best I can do is try to aim for the right target. I’m doing my best to keep team morale up, and it’s been pretty easy.  People are settling back to normal now, but if something like T-Day or Shaper happens again, I don’t know how the team will react.
No, I’ll keep them together. I let you fall apart, and I can’t forgive myself for it. But I swear to you Suzz, I’ll make sure this team stays together. This city needs them. Lily and mom need them. They deserve to come back and live happy lives. I wish you could have too.
I’m so sorry,
Jackson
==Dear Suzy #8==
Dear Suzy
Today’s certainly been an adventure sis. One of the better days I’ve had in awhile. Cyclone wanted to go up to his cottage in the forest, and he offered to take some of us with him. Not many teenagers enjoy camping, so it ended up just being me, Gwen, Lancelle, Gabe, and Challenge. I still don’t really understand the relationship between Gwen and Lancelle, that one’s just way too passed me.
The day was pretty fun, I bought some new fireworks, and I was planning on setting them off at dusk. Before that though, Crisp had us go out fishing, which was a wild ride in and of itself. For starters, I convinced Elle that potatoes came something called a potato-fish, and that trail mix is perfect fish bait. Somehow she caught a fish with the trail mix though, one of the biggest bass I’ve ever seen.
Then there was the whole thing of the boat nearly capsizing because of a raccoon named Trevor, but Gabe stopped us from going swimming by catching us with a light net that somehow didn’t burn a hole in the small dinghy.  We headed back after that, and that’s when things started getting weird.
Challenge accidentally set off a firework, which in turn started a small fire across the lake, which was then in turn put out by a humanoid figure, which then threw a rock at us. Not the weirdest thing, but still not normal, yeah? Then something went inside the house, and we only heard it as it went in. I was volun-told to go first, which was a little terrifying, but it is what it is. I’d rather I get gutted by bigfoot than any of them. We split up like those cartoons you and Lily used to watch. Me, Gwen, and Elle took the basement, while Gabe and Challenge took the main floor. We didn’t find anything in the basement, but Gabe and Challenge clearly found something cause there was a pretty big racket. We booked it to their floor just in time to see some dude in a cloak haul ass up to the attic, stepping on an exposed nail on his way.
I doubt I’ll ever forget that kids face though, the terror and defeat in his eyes when we pulled off his hood was visible for miles. He said his name was Henry, and that he was ex-GREY. His dad had indoctrinated him into the twisted company, keeping him under some sort of mind control. During the T-Day mission, the control broke, and Henry realized that GREY wasn’t doing good things, and he ran. Gwen confirmed all of this with her retrocognition. Poor kid must have been hiding in the woods ever since. I couldn’t just leave him out there, so I offered him a place in the team base. If Cyclone has a problem with that, he can take it up with me.  We’re supposed to help people, and goddamn this kid needed help. I guess we’ll see what the rest of the team thinks in a few days.
Goodnight Suzy,
Jackson
==Dear Suzy #9==
  Dear Suzy,
It felt so real.  That alien touched my brain somehow, and suddenly I was back on that bathroom floor, cradling you.  I saw the empty bottle. I heard mom on the phone with 911, and I could hear Lily’s screams. I saw those paramedics and doctors try to bring you back, and I saw them pull that sheet over your head. I saw every single little piece of that day. That fucking alien even got the cereal I ate that morning right. It was only for a few seconds, but I went through that day hundreds of times. It all felt so fucking real.
I let him get away because of it. I couldn’t think straight. He was able to just walk through the illusions without a second thought. He just walked away with the most powerful object I’ve ever seen. And I let him.
Challenge had every right to call me a gremlin. That’s all I am. I criticize every plan, but I barely contribute.  When I do I usually make things worse. I couldn’t stop the alien today. I almost killed Casper and Keith. Shaper’s dead because of me… I couldn’t even save you.Every single time we put on these masks, it feels like we do less and less. It used to be that we’d go out and we’d have a plan, keeping the enemy on their toes. Now we’re on the defensive all the time, just trying to minimize casualties. If this keeps up we’re gonna run out of people to save. Or we’ll just run out of heroes…
Y’know, mom hasn’t done anything with your room yet. I’m not sure if she ever will. It’s still got those same salmon walls. Blankets all strewn about. Mom never could get you to make your bed, could she? All your stuffed animals are arranged just the way you liked them too. New ones have shown up twice now, on Christmas and your birthday.
I thought it’d be easier sending away mom and Lily like that, but the house feels so empty. I’ve thought about renting out rooms, but mom would probably kill me if she found out. That’d be something, wouldn’t it? Survive life or death situations and I go out cause I rented out moms bedroom.
I’m still trying to keep up the facade. I’ve been trying my hardest to keep that smile up and that mask on, but I’m slipping. Not only does it distract me, but it distracts the team members. They’ve all got such big hearts. I can’t be distracting them like this, there’s more important things to focus on. I’m just a kid who couldn’t save his sister, I don’t even compare to the hundreds of people those guys save in a week.
I know you’d tell me that I’m wrong, but you’re not here to tell me that. I’m never gonna hear you say those words again. Any words. I’m never going to scare your first boyfriend. I’m never going to see you walk down the aisle at your wedding in a beautiful gown. I don’t even know much about you when I think about it. Are fancy wedding gowns your thing, or are you more into suits? Would you have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend? You were one of my best friends Suzz, why’d you have to go? Why did you leave us like that?
Please come back,
Jackson
Category:Journals
Category:Freedo