Degenerates vs. Zombies

Degenerates vs. Zombies is CartoonGuy's Spin-Off Kings' Spin-Off Because Yes' eleventh episode. It aired on July 15, 2021, was written by CartoonGuy277, and its theme was zombie apocalypse.
== Transcript ==
[The episode starts with the Friends theme song playing, as a montage is seen of CartoonGuy, Prim, Ally, Bot, Existant, and Crazy]
[The montage ends with them sitting on the couch]
CartoonGuy: You know Ally, kicking Kelpy out of the house and moving you in instead was a great idea!
[Cut to the same shot of them on the couch but on a TV screen. We then see Kelpy is watching it]
Kelpy: Yes, yes, great idea…...unfortunately for you, it will lead to your DEATH!
[Kelpy presses a button, which makes a ton of dead bodies fall from the roof]
Kelpy: Aw shit, now there’s blood everywhere, the carpet is dirty! Mom’s gonna kill me! [punches the wall] OUCH! Ehem. Very well then. It is time for the dead to rise! [grabs a weird gun thingy and shoots one of the dead bodies]
[The dead body rises, undead]
Kelpy: IT WORKED! My zombie plan worked! Hehe! [shoots all the other dead bodies, who rise as zombies] Rise, my children! Rise! And go attack those six bastards!
[The zombies start slowly walking]
Kelpy: Hm. You walk pretty slow-
[A zombie bites Kelpy]
Kelpy: AAARGH! That was…..kind of hot…..
[Every zombie bites Kelpy]
Kelpy: AAARGH! Hot. AAAAA-[turns into a zombie]
[Cut back to the six bastards on the couch, who are watching Tom Tucker on TV]
Tom Tucker: Good evening I’m Tom Tucker, here to alert you that a zombie apocalypse has started!
CartoonGuy: What?
Tom Tucker: People have been reporting zombies everywhere on the internet and I can also confirm the apocalypse as all my bitches have turned to zombitches. But it’s not that zombad, at least we won’t zombicker anymore, and she can still give me zomblpwjobs! [a zombie prostitute comes onscreen and bites him] Looks like I’ve been zombitten, zombye! [turns into a zombie]
Ally: HOLY SHIT, TOM TUCKER’S A ZOMBIE!
Crazy: PANIC! GET THE SHOTGUNS READY!
Existant: I HAD MINE READY FOR TWO HOURS!
CartoonGuy: Woah woah, calm down! This could all be an elaborate prank or something!
[The doorbell rings]
Prim: Oooh, the food’s here!
[Prim goes to open the door, where a zombie pizza delivery guy is holding a pizza package]
Prim: It’s no lasagna, but it’ll do. [grabs the pizza package and closes the door, then opens the package, where a brain is] Hey, this doesn’t look like pizza!
CartoonGuy: [gets closer] Dear God, Americans can’t stop ruining pizza!
[The zombie pizza delivery guy breaks down the door and comes in the house]
Prim: Oh, are you here for the money! Well, I refuse to pay! What is this? [grabs the brain and eats it] Tastes like ham…
Bot: That looked like a brain…..AND THAT GUY LOOKS LIKE A ZOMBIE!
Zombie pizza delivery guy: [slowly walks towards the six bastards]
Existant: [shoots the zombie guy] Bitch.
Crazy: GREAT! 
Bot: Ok, let’s all get shotguns and leave town!
[They all get shotguns, and everyone except Crazy leaves the house and gets into the car, where CartoonGuy is in the driver’s seat because he’s the best and Bot is in the other front seat, with the others behind]
CartoonGuy: Where the fuck is Crazy?!
Crazy (offscreen): WAIT FOR ME! I’M GETTING TISSUES!
Existant: Why does he need tissues?
Crazy: [come out of the house with a shotgun and tissues] I-[hous falls on him]
Ally: CRAZYSPONGE DIED OH GOD OH FUCK!
Bot: NOOOOOO!
[A zombie comes out of hous]
Prim: DRIVE! DRIIIIVE!
[CartoonGuy starts driving away]
Bot: *sniff* Poor Crazy…..wait, Cartoon, how old are you?
CartoonGuy: -1.
Bot: So you can’t have a license.
CartoonGuy: Nope.
Bot: Have you at least driven something before?
CartoonGuy: Not at all.
Bot: WE’RE GOING TO DIE!
CartoonGuy: Relax, no one here can drive!
Bot: THEN WHY DO WE HAVE A CAR?!
[CartoonGuy runs over a few zombies]
CartoonGuy: That’s why.
Existant: Uh, CartoonGuy?
CartoonGuy: What is it?
Existant: I kind of need to go to the bathroom…
CartoonGuy: Oh, these fucking Estonians and their urge to take a piss during zombie apocalypses!
Existant: Actually, I have to take a shit. 
CartoonGuy: Ugh. There’s a bathroom! [stops the car] Hurry up!
[Prim pushes Existant out of the car]
Existant: Jeez. [goes into a bathroom shack, only to find zombie Crazy sitting on the toilet with tissues] *gasp* CRAZY! THEY MADE YOU A ZOMBIE! Waaaaait, are you zombies going into the sewer? That’s clever. What are you doing with those ti-[gets bitten by zombie Crazy] OUCH! Do zombies shit? [turns into a zombie, then gets pushed out of the shack by zombie Crazy and goes back into the car]
Ally: That was a fast shit.
CartoonGuy: OK WE CAN START DRIVING AGAIN NOW! [drives away again]
Prim: Existant, was that a strong shit too? Like, so strong it changed your skin? Because you look a little green…[touches Existant’s face] Your skin is so cold, what happened in the bathroom?
[Everyone is silent for 5 seconds]
Prim: Existant? Why aren’t you spea-[his finger gets bitten by zombie Existant] OUCH! You maniac! I don’t have lasagna fingers! [turns into a zombie]
Ally: AAAARGH! THEY’RE BOTH ZOMBIES!
CartoonGuy: HOLY SHIT!
Bot: WE’RE GOING TO DIE!
Ally: BYE! [jumps out of the car, but the zombies follow her]
CartoonGuy: Nope, she’s going to die! Heh.
Bot: Are we not going to help-
CartoonGuy: No.
Bot: Okay then.
[Cut back to Ally, who is running away from zombie Existant and zombie Prim]
Ally: Well, good thing they’re so slow. I don’t have to worry too mu-[trips on a rock] AAARGH! MY KNEE! I HURT MY KNEE! OH, THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE! I CAN’T GET UP! I’LL JUST GET BITTEN! [starts crying]
[Out of nowhere, zombie Existant and zombie Prim get shot with peas]
Ally: Huh? Who did that?
[Zoltan appears with a peashooter in his hand]
Zoltan: The name’s Zoltan. Zol. Tan.
Ally: You saved me!
Zoltan: I did?
Ally: Yes! What’s that you’re holding?
Zoltan: It’s a peashooter. It’s one of the many genetically modified plants I have with the purpose of defeating the zombies.
Ally: You’re using plants to defeat zombies?
Zoltan: Yes! They’re more effective than one would think! Here, let me show you my collection. Follow me!
[Zoltan brings Ally to his house, where a variety of the plants are]
Zoltan: The sunflower is the most important one. The first one I genetically modified. It gives me sun, which helps with modifying the other plants.
Ally: Woah. And you made all of these today? When the apocalypse was announced?
Zoltan: Nope. I’ve had these plants prepared for years. I knew a zombie apocalypse would come one day, and that the appropriate weapons would be plants.
Ally: How did you know this?
Zoltan: Because of the prophecy.
Ally: Wha?
Zoltan: Let Bunny explain it.
Ally: Bunny?
[Bunny suddenly appears flying]
Bunny: Greetings. Come to the basement. [teleports away]
Ally: Where-
[Ally and Zoltan get teleported away to the basement, where the PvZ theme is playing and Bunny is in front of a drawing on the wall of Crazy Dave with plants protecting his lawn from zombies]
Zoltan: When I first moved in this house and went to the basement, I was surprised to find a talking bunny named Bunny in the basement. And also the weird music that seems to play whenever I go here. Anyways, Bunny told me about this drawing, which was in the house for centuries, and was the prophecy. And so, after watching some YouTube tutorials, I was able to genetically modify plants so they would be able to defeat zombies when they inevitably arrived! So that crazy guy you see in the drawing, with that brown beard and that thing on his head, that’s me!
Bunny: Zoltan, now that the apocalypse has started, I think it is time to tell you the truth….there’s more to the prophecy than that drawing.
Zoltan: WHAT?!
Bunny: I have got many books about the prophecy. This girl right here is also part of it.
Ally: I am?
Bunny: Yep. I know how you got here, all about your friends, and more. You are the chosen one, for you replaced the war criminal who started this apocalypse, Kelpy.
Ally: THAT SON OF A BITCH STARTED THIS?! Of course!
Bunny: Ally, you and Zoltan must go find Bot and CartoonGuy. 
Zoltan: Bot?
Bunny: You need only go to the woods, find a car, and then, the bunker…
[Cut to CartoonGuy and Bot in the car, in a forest]
Bot: I think we should stop. I mean, are we just going to live here in the woods or what? Because I don’t think we have a plan.
CartoonGuy: The plan is to drive until we find El Dorado or something. Be patie-
[The car hits a tree and breaks]
CartoonGuy: Fuck.
Bot: So what do we do now?
CartoonGuy: Walk somewhere.
[They do that]
Bot: HEY! HERE ON THE FLOOR! I FOUND SOMETHING!
CartoonGuy: What is it?
Bot: It seems to be an entrance to a bunker of some sor-[gets kicked into the bunker by CartoonGuy]
CartoonGuy: Heh. [jumps into the bunker] Woah, there’s a fridge, a bathroom, a sex dungeon, everything you need to survive! Who made this?
Bot: I found this. [holds up a sign saying “JFK’S EPIK NUCLEAR BUNKER”]
CartoonGuy: JFK made this? I wonder if the food is still edi-
[Zombie Crazy pops out of the toilet]
CartoonGuy and Bot: AAAARGH!
Bot: Wait, Crazy?
CartoonGuy: PLEASE DON’T-[gets bitten by zombie Crazy] MOTHERFU-[turns into a zombie]
[Zombie Crazy gets closer to Bot]
Bot: Wait, Crazy, I know it’s you! It’s me, Bot!
[Zombie Crazy stops, surprised]
Bot: Crazy, I know you’re a zombie, but I know that deep inside, you’re still just a crazy sponge. And I still love you.
[Zombie Crazy makes a happy face, and is about to kiss Bot, when zombie CartoonGuy grabs him and throws him across the bunker]
Bot: AAAARGH! CARTOONGUY NO!
[Zombie CartoonGuy gets shot with peas]
Bot: Huh?
[Ally jumps into the bunker along with Zoltan, who is still holding a peashooter]
Zoltan: Ha!
Bot: FATHER!
Zoltan: DAUGHTER! SHIT!
Bot: ALLY!
Ally: BOT!
Ally: CARTOONGUY! DEAD! ZOMBIE CRAZY!
Zoltan: SHOOT!
Bot: NO!
Zoltan: WHAT?!
Ally: HUH?!
Bot: LOVE!
Zoltan: WHAT?! Ok, let’s stop, let me understand…..daughter, are you in love with that zombie?
Bot: Yes, and he’s in love with me!
Zoltan: You can’t date a zombie, you idiot!
Bot: Dad, come on! Don’t discriminate!
Zoltan: Well, when you put it like that….[grabs zombie Crazy] zombie, I give you my blessing to marry my daughter.
Bot: YAY!
Ally: What a nice love story.
[Bot and zombie Crazy kiss]
Ally: WOOHOO! [claps]
Zoltan: Aw, that bitch-I mean, my daughter is going to marry a zombie.
Bot: That was a nice ki-[turns into a zombie]
Ally: Oh dear.
Zoltan: My child is a zombie.
[Zoltan grabs a radio that plays There’s a Zombie on Your Lawn as the episode fades out]
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