A Bite Too Far

A Bite Too Far is the 64th episode of Assertive Acquisitions. Today, the Capac in the Cryo tube is "unripe", so Splitsie and TFE start without him. 
==Synopsis==
Splitsie and TFE are ignoring the poltergeist who is noisily dropping components in the background. They switch off Capac's ship's flickering exhaust effect and place very low bets on how many weeks it will take him to notice. 
After Splitsie cannot buy warhead materials at the trade station next door, they pick a freight contract. The delivery location is a new station that also sells ammo and suit upgrades and they plan to return. Back at the SkyWarp, as they tug a wreck to sell, the Marlin accidentally damages Capac's defense turrets. 
Splitsie talks through his plans regarding his custom missile defense system. He decides against using a huge Nimbus interplanetary freighter as target practice, seeing its 60 turrets. They discuss the Marlin's role as hauler and tug and static defence — it's not a fighter. 
Splitsie equips the Sojourner with a custom targeting screen and tests its missiles against a fast passing fighter drone, which immediately takes out the Sojourner's missile bay... TFE in the Dorotron attacks the same fighter drone but neither he nor the missiles can keep up, so they abandon this attempt, before the drone decides to hit one of Capac's ships... TFE in the Dorotron hides behind the SkyWarp, relying on its turrets to take out the drone. 
Splitsie immediately wants to hunt the next transport but needs repairs first. They hear more random banging noises. Is Capac haunting them? TFE warns that they are out of oxygen. Capac is still alive but the air vents in the hangar have been venting into open space. 
Hurrying to mine ice, Splitsie damages an unused welder ship. The first asteroid has no ice - but magnesium, which they just paid for... While Splitsie mines ice at another asteroid, they jokingly plan to gift Capac a Strong Unknown Signal. TFE reluctantly shares his oxygen reserves with the cryostatic Capac. He is shocked to notice that the control panel lists Capac and Splitsie as "[dead]". Splitsie explains the cryopod would eject Capac if he were dead so that the cleaners wouldn't have to clean up mouldy corpses from the cryopod. 
When Splitsie returns with ice, all the hangar doors are closed; TFE comes out to open them, and his randomly accelerating jetpack almost gets him killed several times. In the moment he says he's safe, the random acceleration against the SkyWarp kills him. Splitsie inserts a funny clip of a 3-engineer space jury giving TFE's salto mortale 10/10/7 points. 
In the way to the trade station, they aggro several ships. Splitsie's missiles work but the Sojourner runs out of missile printing materials. Splitsie oarks the Sojourner and returns to the battlefield in his Frenzy to capture an abandoned ship. TFE in the Dorotron desperately tries and fails to hide from drone bombardment in a trade station safe zone while Splitsie blasts a ship named Bringer of Death with railguns, and then suddenly spins out of control...
The episode ends in a cliffhanger. 
==Quotes==
Splitsie: We need more money. - TFE: I'm just thinking how much we'd get for the SkyWarp. If it was even sellable. - Splitsie: Never. It is without value! - TFE: Didn't expect you to be that honest about it! - Splitsie: You know what I mean! Priceless!
"Open artillery door before firing artillery" (TFE's reminder to himself written on the Dorotron's cockpit screen)
== Trivia ==
An earlier version of this episode was accidentally published the week before its intended release date in place of episode 63, due to that episode not having been uploaded.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Crbon9_pHDEXm5aKHTeAQ/community?lb=UgkxnH5FUuV7p7unKp8TkvM2ioGaAboDaPNZ It was made private within ten minutes, but some viewers were able to keep watching the entire episode. That version of the episode had a different name, More Than We Can Chew - Assertive Acquisitions #64, and its URL was https://youtu.be/8DdviNa7pQU, which is now a private video.
== References ==