Protestant

Protestantism is a wide grouping of Christian religions, usually defined as opposing the papacy. What defines a Protestant (or a "Prod") is up for much debate, which is discussed later in this article. 
==Protestantism according to Joel==
According to Joel, Protestants are Apeists as they imitate Papists. Protestantism originated in Western Europe (just like communism, fascism, homosexuality, refrigerated dairy consumption, and a high density of Caucasians). The first Protestants were just like Catholics, except they permitted divorce, freely translated the Scriptures without verifying their translations by scholars and wouldn't pray to Mary (because of the Queen Elizabeth I's jealousy of Mary).
==Classifications==
Protestants can be classified into the following categories:
* Sacramental Protestants - these Protestants have maintained the Catholic sacraments to varying degrees however it's more of a convenience of tradition (if they don't have their Sacraments, what would they do?), these Protestants also most often have Protestant mouths (this includes real Protestants plus Anglicans)
* Evangelical Protestants - these Protestants are quite hyped and are into franchising, as they call church planting, they aren't big on sacraments because that is too Catholic for them, however they do have Charismatic Catholic friends, they normally don't get the Protestant mouth because they go on frequent mission trips to Catholic countries including Mexico (this includes mainly the Protestants who are not really Protestant)
* Converts - they have no idea...
* Extremists - like the Westboro Baptist church (they go Queerbatin'), these ones also have a Protestant mouth unless they originate from a non-Caucasian Catholic country (like the Moonies)
* The non-Competitors - Many sects/cults that are self-declared Christian, but they never see themselves as Protestants as they don't consider the possibility that their sect is any younger than any other denomination; if you try to prove them wrong they will say that it is against their religious beliefs to accept anything from outside sources (the Not Protestant group)
==Which denominations are Protestant?==
===Yes===
*The United Church, the self-declared one true church
*Methodists
*Presbyterians
*Congregationalists
*Mainstream Baptists
*Lutherans 
===Not really===
Denominations where most members see themselves as "just Christian" and have lost true appreciation for what the Protestant churches have done for society
*Southern Baptists
*Evangelicals
*Pentecostals
*Seventh Day Adventists
*Unitarians (including United Pentecostals)
===No===
:Note that Statistricks Canada considers these denominations to be just as Protestant as any church mentioned above
*Anglicans - Earl thinks if a church has saints, it cannot be Protestant
*Mormons
*Jehovah's Witnesses
*Scientologists
*Christians of the church of Science
===HELL No===
*Papists
*Orthodox Christians
*Judaism
==Fun facts==
*Someone who is attracted to Protestants is said to have Orange Fever.
Category:Religions
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