Mark Fischbach/Quotes

Mark Edward Fischbach is an American YouTuber, streamer, and podcaster.
==Dated Quotes==
===21st century===
==== 2010s ====
===== 2015 =====
*"Well, you gotta rank 'em by, you know, which one has the most meat on their bones? Which one is the most useful to keep around longer? And which one would put up the most fight if we tried to eat 'em? So you got to rank 'em by that, and I know PewDiePie's kind of a scrawnier guy, and JackSepticEye, you know, he's not exactly the most athletic ever. Dan and Phil- they're both- they both got the 'tall' advantage, so they got reach if you try to get 'em. So it's kinda hard to say. I think I'd go for PewDiePie first. You know, get whatever stringy meat I could pull off of his bones. And then I'd probably go for Jack next. And then kind of assuage Dan and Phil to be on my side, be like, 'No, I won't eat you! We're kings of this island together,' and I'd have to take them off bat at once, because they're friends and they're gonna betray me. They're all gonna betray me! I won't let them betray me! So yeah, that's who I'd eat first. Anyway..."
**Answering a question from a fan, published 17 November 2015
*"I actually don't watch porn, and no one is ever gonna believe me on that. Not a soul out there believes me. And I don't, but no one's gonna believe me!"
** Answering a question from a fan, published 17 November 2015MARK HAD A HEART ATTACK?! | Reading Your Comments #4 - markiplierGAME - 17 November 2015 - YouTube - Retrieved 16 September 2024
*"I do notice that there's a lot of YouTubers out there that are writing books these days. And they're mostly about their own lives, but if I was to write a book it would never be about my life. That would probably be the most boring subject you could probably write a book. If I were to write a book... I have a lot of stories and things that I want to put into books. Like, actual fictional stories. You know, coming up with worlds and universes. Like, that's something that really does appeal to me. But I'd never have the time to write a book, because I have a lot of passions that I want to pursue, but I'm 'wise' enough to know that I don't have enough time to do everything. So I try to do some things very well, then spread my time out. Now, down the road a few years, of course. You know, I'm 26, you know. I still have a lot of time left. Hopefully. And, you know, I have a lot of things that I want to do in my life. So I'm just putting the 'book thing' on the backburner. Way back there." 
**Answering a question from a fan, published 17 November 2015
* "Ok. So here is a very- probably bad news to some people, probably good news to others. It's- take it for what it will. Here's my little story. I cannot process alcohol properly. My body doesn't do it. I have a deficient enzyme that causes a poison to build up my system because I can't break down alcohol fully very quickly. Some other people have it, a lot of people do have it. I cannot process alcohol correctly, but that doesn't mean that I don't try to drink alcohol. Ever since I got into college, I've been trying to, and I'm not here to advocate one way or another. Be responsible about what you do, and make sure that what you do doesn't harm anyone else or doesn't harm yourself to an extreme. That's basically my rule about life so that's all I'll say about the philosophy and morals of drinking. Be responsible about it. But as far as I go, I- a few weeks ago, when I was back home, I was drinking, you know, every night. Not excessively. Just a few beers. And then I had an incident. And it's not a big deal, but the quickest way to describe it is that I had a bit of a heart attack. Now that doesn't mean that there's anything physically wrong with my heart. Don't panic! Don't shout that from the rooftop as a horrible thing. Literally my heart could not pump enough blood to get to my head. I passed out. My friends were there. They got me an ambulance. I went to the hospital. I was totally fine. There's nothing physically wrong with my heart. I had a deficient vitamin... something... nutritional deficiency as caused by my body trying to compensate for my broken enzyme. Big science bull. The doctors didn't even know exactly what happened. But, it was related to me not being able to process alcohol correctly, combined with stress and other things caused what happened. But what this means is that I - who already didn't drink very much because I couldn't drink very much because I can't enjoy it all the time - can no longer drink. Doctor's orders, I cannot drink again. It is bad for my health. It will not do me any good to drink, and frankly, I am a hundred percent ok with that. I am totally okay with never having another drink in my life. That doesn't mean that I'm gonna go out and be like, 'No one should drink! If I can't have it, no one can!' I don't honestly care if you do or do not drink, so long as - my rules - it doesn't harm anyone else or yourself. So everything in moderation, that's all I'll say about it. But, frankly, I can't drink. And what that means is that 'Drunk Minecraft', as what it is, can't continue. It just can't. It's logical, it can't. Medically, I cannot drink and I will not force myself to drink to do a series just to have a little bit more fun, when, me and my friends still have fun in amazing ways and I love it to death playing with these guys without alcohol. Like, it's totally fine. It's not a big deal for me, it just means that 'Drunk Minecraft' as people know it will probably never continue because I literally cannot drink. It's like literally... Literally I cannot drink. So that's the long- it was a long story, but you know, I just needed to get the elephant out of the room because I've been wondering how I was going to talk about this, and obviously I talked about it. There it is. And I want to be very clear. Very clear. I can't make enough hand gestures to be very clear about this. I'm fine. Nothing physically wrong with my heart. Heart is healthy. They checked me out. I am healthy. I am good. I'm not going to the hospital anymore. I didn't tell anybody about this because I didn't want people to panic, again, that I was in the hospital, and I don't plan to go back to the hospital any time soon. I've been there too much in my life as it is. But, I am fine, I just can't drink anymore. That's the end of that story so, there we go." 
**Answering a question from a fan, published 17 November 2015
*"Would you rather fly like Superman or travel like Spider-Man? Well, considering that in some of the comics, Superman can fly so fast he travels faster than the speed of light, I'm pretty sure I gotta go with 'fly like Superman.' It may not be current canon, but it was canon in some day, and then the ScrewAttack Battle... They used his most powerful moment against Goku... Just too powerful. Stupid. Here, here's my main- okay, I'm not dropping this. Here's my main problem with that. The thing about, like, why I hate Superman - this is more why I hate Superman more than anything - is that... I know in some storylines this doesn't take place, but bear in mind: Goku, as a character, he may be stupid, and TeamFourStar may put a great portrayal of who Goku is... but he earned his power! He earned his power! Whatever, like, stupid writing- Goku has stupid writing too, like Super Saiyan, 'oh no, Super Saiyan level', whatever. Super Saiyan God. I don't care. Goku worked hard his entire life to be more powerful and always loves to fight for the sake of fighting. Superman is a compromised person, not all that noble period, has very, very low points, and didn't earn his power! He was just born with it! He was just born super-powerful and then he had to learn to control- whatever, bullshit. Goku I like better, because he like, struggled and earned it. And I know there are Superman scenarios where he did struggle and whatever, but it's so contrived! Because he's always gonna win! I guess Goku's always gonna win too, but I hate Superman! Alright, I'm done. Moving on. Stupid."
**Speaking about his dislike of Superman, and his admiration of Goku, published 20 November 2015GROUNDED BY SANCHO | Would You Rather #2 - markiplierGAME - 20 November 2015 - YouTube - Retrieved 1 January 2024
*"If we could just build a wall around the Earth, keep out those dirty, darn aliens. Like Superman! Fuck you, Superman!" 
**Again speaking about his dislike of Superman, published 24 November 2015BIG BLUE SEXY ALIEN (not avatar...) | HuniePop #9 - markiplierGAME - 20 November 2015 - YouTube - Retrieved 1 January 2024
===== 2016 =====
*"I don't talk about politics often. I don't feel like it's my place to tell you how to think in that regard. This channel is a place of entertainment (hopefully) and escape from the chaos that runs the rest of your world. However, I will never shy away from encouraging you guys to better yourselves and the world around you. It's easy to think of yourself as insignificant in the turmoil that consumes the political landscape but there's always more that you can do. You are an essential piece of your community but ONLY if you work towards it. To make change in the world and in yourself takes time, effort, and most of all dedication. It's a commitment that the vast majority of people overlook because they're consumed by the short term. The only thing I have ever wanted is to be a leader to guide you towards something better. But I can't hide behind a vague idea of what "better" is so here are a few things that I firmly believe in: No matter who you are; no matter your race, religion, or gender you have the unalienable right to live your life in peace and happiness; Healthcare is a right, not a business; We should leave our children a better world than the one we have now. One my favorite quotes of all time and a motto that I live by is, "A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." Meaning that we may never reap the benefits of what we do today but we must sacrifice the greed of the now for the betterment of the future. There's always more. Always more to be done, always more to learn, and always more to live. Don't get lost in hopelessness, keep moving forward." 
**9 November 2016, FacebookI don't talk about politics often. I don't feel like it's my place to tell you how to think in that regard. This channel is a place of entertainment (hopefully) and escape from the chaos that runs the rest of your world. However, I will never shy away from encouraging you guys to better yourselves and the world around you.
It's easy to think of yourself as insignificant in the turmoil that consumes the political landscape but there's always more that you can do. You are an essential piece of your community but ONLY if you work towards it. To make change in the world and in yourself takes time, effort, and most of all dedication. It's a commitment that the vast majority of people overlook because they're consumed by the short term. The only thing I have ever wanted is to be a leader to guide you towards something better. 
But I can't hide behind a vague idea of what "better" is so here are a few things that I firmly believe in:
1. No matter who you are; no matter your race, religion, or gender you have the unalienable right to live your life in peace and happiness.
2. Healthcare is a right, not a business.
3. We should leave our children a better world than the one we have now.
One my favorite quotes of all time and a motto that I live by is, "A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." Meaning that we may never reap the benefits of what we do today but we must sacrifice the greed of the now for the betterment of the future.
There's always more. Always more to be done, always more to learn, and always more to live. Don't get lost in hopelessness, keep moving forward.
-Mark - Markiplier - 9 November 2016 - Facebook - Retrieved 12 February 2024
====2020s====
===== 2020 =====
* "What a way to go! You know, if you're gonna go, why not go that way. That's not bad. I want to go out in a tragic jetpack accident."
** Reacting to text in a game, published 11 February 2020I AM LITERALLY THE GRIM REAPER | Death and Taxes - markiplierGAME - 11 February 2020 - YouTube - Retrieved 13 December 2024
*"It's an express route down to Neptune himself."
**Reacting to a fan's bridge design, published 21 June 2020I TEST YOUR TERRIBLE AWFUL NO-GOOD EMBARRASSING BRIDGES | Poly Bridge 2 - markiplierGAME - 21 June 2020 - YouTube - Retrieved 12 January 2025
*"I don't have five ovens anymore."
**Reacting to a fan's bridge design, published 21 June 2020I TEST YOUR TERRIBLE AWFUL NO-GOOD EMBARRASSING BRIDGES | Poly Bridge 2 - markiplierGAME - 21 June 2020 - YouTube - Retrieved 12 January 2025
*"How are you going to build up an immunity to fire if you don't expose yourself to fire?"
**Mocking conspiratorial denialists, published 30 November 2020Firefighting Simulator - markiplierGAME - 30 November 2020 - YouTube - Retrieved 17 January 2025
===== 2021 =====
* "Pissed off doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now. Just a complete fucking disgrace from top to bottom."
**On the January 6 United States Capitol attack, 6 January 2021, TwitterPissed off doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now. Just a complete fucking disgrace from top to bottom. - Mark @Markiplier - 6 January 2021 - Twitter - Retrieved 12 January 2025
=====2022=====
*"Yeah no, I dislike Superman for that reason. I think comic books in general just have a habit of, like, adding way too much onto a same character because... It's like, 'how do they overcome this challenge?' And it's like, now it's canon. It's why I'm not really a huge fan- I like Death Battle, but I'm not a huge fan of it because of the concept that they go with the most powerful, OP version of that character. And, the most ridiculous one was - and I know I'm going to get roasted alive because this is how comic book fans are - but the Thor vs Vegeta one. And it's not like I'm a Vegeta fanboy, but they measured their power levels on, 'and Thor is on the multi-universal destruction level! He can destroy exactly 69 million universes simultaneously!' I'm like, what? At what point does it just get so ludicrous that you can't ever actually have about it? It was a fun video, don't get me wrong, but it's why I don't like anyone that's a powerscaler, in terms of having to measure the exact force of every punch. It's like, where's the story in there? Where's the fun of anything happening?" 
**voicing his dislike for "Death Battle!" and powerscaling, published 20 June 2022Don't Laugh - Distractible Podcast - 20 June 2022 - YouTube - Retrieved 1 January 2024Don't Laugh - Distractible - June 2022 - Spotify - Retrieved 1 January 2024
==Quotes about Fischbach==
===21st century===
====2010s====
===== 2018=====
* "I know a lot of people have been wondering this and I haven’t mentioned anything on it. I’ve been purposefully avoiding the question. Mark and I had a long overdue call today and talked some stuff out. It’s the first time we had talked to each other properly since maybe PAX last year. We weren’t exactly the best of friends in that period and honestly we were never really AS close as people made out online anyway.  Nothing serious happened between us, we didn’t fight and no Septiplier didn’t tear our friendship apart. Things just kind of ended up the way they did. I didn’t say anything on the matter because I didn’t think it was right to talk about it until Mark and I talked about it first in private. Moving on this year we’ve both agreed to try our best to get back to a good place in our friendship and not let something like this happen again. This is all I will say on the matter because I know how many people are desperate for information on it. Please don’t start up the rumour mills, speculating endlessly about what might have happened and please respect both of us."
**Seán McLoughlin, 6 February 2018, TumblrI know a lot of people have been wondering this and I haven’t mentioned anything on it. I’ve been purposefully avoiding the question. Mark and I had a long overdue call today and talked some stuff out. It’s the first time we had talked to each other properly since maybe PAX last year. We weren’t exactly the best of friends in that period and honestly we were never really AS close as people made out online anyway.  Nothing serious happened between us, we didn’t fight and no Septiplier didn’t tear our friendship apart. Things just kind of ended up the way they did. I didn’t say anything on the matter because I didn’t think it was right to talk about it until Mark and I talked about it first in private. Moving on this year we’ve both agreed to try our best to get back to a good place in our friendship and not let something like this happen again. This is all I will say on the matter because I know how many people are desperate for information on it. Please don’t start up the rumour mills, speculating endlessly about what might have happened and please respect both of us. - jacksepticeye - 6 February 2018 - Tumblr - Retrieved 12 January 2025 - Archived 12 January 2025
==Links==
*Markiplier on Wikiquote
==References==
Category:Mark Fischbach
Category:Quotes
Category:Quotes of real people
Category:Quotes of YouTubers