R&B Are On It!/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "R&B Are On It!".
== ==
(Poppy and Holly are looking in a mirror. Holly is squeezing Poppy’s cheeks.)
Holly: Y’see? It always goes back to a smile. Told ya, Poppy. You’ve got “Rest Nice Face.”
Poppy: Aw! (She and Holly’s watches chime and they gasp.)
Both: It’s time for R and B’s podcast! (They cheer and run off. In a pod, Rhythm and Blues get their podcast ready.)
Rhythm: Live from inside a hair pod, it’s your favorite podcast:
Rhythm and Blues: R&B Are On It!
Rhythm: I’m your co-host, R. And always by my side is my scintillating sister from the same mister… B!
Blues: Before we bring on the funk, let’s have a word from our sponsor. (We cut to Classical Crest where some Trolls are listening to Rhythm and Blues from a microphone-like flower.) Today’s episode is brought to you by Hugs. And the Fun Factory. (We go to Country Corral.)
Techno Troll #1: Hey, mind turning it up, bro? (Gust waters the flower and the Trolls can hear Rhythm and Blues better.)
Blues: … game-related needs. The Funtime Factory, official sponsor of hide and seek! (We go to Pop Village where Poppy and Holly reach the flower.)
Rhythm: Well, sis, it’s time to open up those vines and provide our listeners with the advice they need. (The camera moves up and shows the pod Rhythm and Blues are doing their podcast.)
Blues: That’s right. Years of scientific study have taught us that every problem has a solution. And we’re here to help you find it! (A beep is heard.)
Rhythm: Hello? You’re on the hair. (We see that Val is calling. Fang is wrapped around her.)
Val: Yeah. So, um, I’m having an issue with my pet snake. Half the time I pick him up, he makes this aggressive hissing sound. So I was wondering… how do I get him to do it all the time?
Rhythm: OK, unusual question. But…
Rhythm and Blues: R and B are on it!
Rhythm: According to our calculations, you spend exactly two minutes a day telling him how much you love his voice and bam!
Blue: The rest is hissstory! Next caller!
Brinch: Hi. Um, my name is… uh… Brinch. What do you do if the zipper gets stuck on your… bunny pajamas?
Blues: That’s easy. Just jiggle the zipper up, up, down…
Rhythm: Then up, down, down. (A zipper’s zipping is heard.) 
Brinch: Phew! Thanks, R and B!
Rhythm and Blues: You’re welcome, Branch!
Brinch: Uh, it’s uh… Brinch.
Rhythm and Blues: Next caller! (Next, Keith calls them.)
Rhythm: Apologize.
Blues: And offer to replace it. (A red male Techno Troll is calling next.)
Rhythm: Whatever you do…
Blues: Don’t pull on the gum. (The red male Techno Troll doesn’t listen.)
Techno Troll #2: Oh! (Cooper is next.)
Cooper: So, I said yes to both parties. But I can’t be in two places at once!
Rhythm: You can!
Blues: If you let us clone you!
Cooper: You can do that?! (Rhythm and Blues take out remotes and a wormhole appears, dropping off a clone of Cooper.) I shall call you Two-per! (He and his clone laugh. Back at the pod where Rhythm and Blues are doing their show, Biggie is with them.)
Blues: Joining us now in person, Biggie! I understand you need help?
Biggie: Yes. As you know, Mr. Dinkles and I recently celebrated our friend-iversary, and, well, we received a present from a certain Troll, which turned out to be… A re-gift! (Rhythm and Blues gasp.)
Rhythm: A Troll took a present they were gifted and gave it to someone else in the guise of a new gift?!
Biggie: I’m afraid so. (Rhythm and Blues nearly faint.)
Rhythm: Rest assured, Biggie…
Rhythm and Blues: R and B are on it!
Blues: That’s right! Clearly the solution to your problem is… just let it go!
Rhythm: Confront the re-gifting Troll! (She and Blues look at each other.)
Both: Whaaaaaat?!
Biggie: Uh… aren’t you supposed to say the same thing?
Rhythm: Yes, we are. What is happening? Are we disagreeing?
Blues: Apparently so. And I don’t like it! (Rhythm comes over to Biggie.)
Rhythm: Biggie, the -re-gift upset you. The only way to fix this is to express your feelings to the Troll in question.
Biggie: Hm… I suppose that’s true. (He picks up Mr. Dinkles.) I think I will discuss it with them. (Just as he is about to leave, Blues appears from a wormhole.)
Blues: Biggie, no! This Troll likely meant no offense and a confrontation would embarrass them. The only way to fix this is for you to let it go!
Biggie: Yes. I guess it would be better if I gave them the benefit of the doubt.
Rhythm: (Holing up a remote) No! (She presses a button and she pops out of a wormhole in front of Biggie and Blues.) This is about open and honest communication! (Blues pushes her back into the wormhole.) Whaaa!
Blues: Some things are better left unsaid. (Rhythm’s hand pops out of another wormhole and Blues falls into the other wormhole.)
Rhythm: You deserve an explanation. (Blues returns from another wormhole.)
Blues: It’s no big deal!
Biggie: Aah! This is too much! There’s got to be a better way for me to decide whose advice to take. (Soon, he, Rhythm, and Blues are at their lab.)
Rhythm: OK, we need data now that we’re no longer on the air. Tell us what happened and give us all the details.
Biggie: Well, it was yesterday. 4:32 pm. I just used the process of elimination to determine who gave us our last gift because the tag fell off when Mr. Dinkles tried to eat it. Which is a terrible habit of his and gives him the worst indigestion, but-
Blues: Uh, maybe not all the details.
Biggie: Oh, right. (giggles) Anyway, it was from Dante.
Rhythm and Blues: (gasp) Dante?!
Biggie: Yes. (He opens the present.) And when I opened it, I found the exact same cupcake dome that I’d given to him to congratulate at his big concert last week.
Rhythm: Got it. Now, using some super-funky predictive modeling, I have mathematic certainty that by taking my advice and confronting Dante, it would go like this. (She presses a button and a holo-gram of Dante appears.)
Dante: My word, Biggie. Thank you for bringing this Troll-pas to my attention! It never occurred to me that a re-gift could so affect the feelings of a fellow Troll. (Biggie smiles at him.) I swear to you, from now on, I will do better.
Biggie: Oh, my! That went well.
Rhythm: It sure did. And once that happens, who knows what it could lead to… (A holo-gram of Poppy appears.)
Poppy: And the Trolls-bel Peace Prize goes to… Dante Crescendo! (An applause is heard and Dante gets a trophy. (Biggie watches in amazement.)
Dante: I know it’s a cliché, but I’d like to dedicate this award to a true friend, who started me on a path of service to all Trolls-manity by confronting me over a re-gifted cupcake dome.
Biggie: (sniffs) Well, that settles it, then. I’m going to talk to Dante.
Blues: Hold up. Better double check your math, sis. ‘Cause according to my calculations, if Biggie confronts Dante, this’ll be what’ll happen. (The holo-gram of Dante reappears.)
Dante: My… my word, Biggie. I’m so embarrassed. I-I seem to be having trouble looking you in the eye. I… I must go. (He starts crying.)
Biggie: Oh, my! That went horribly!
Blues: And from there, things could only get worse. (A holo-gram of Poppy, Biggie, and Dante appears.)
Poppy: Biggie, Dante, due to your claim of irreconcilable awkwardness, I have no choice but to declare your friendship null and void. Null and void. Null and void.
Blues: Sorry. This thing glitches out sometimes.
Biggie: Ah! Well, now I have no idea whose advice to take! They both seem right!
Rhythm: But, Biggie, the data clearly shows- (Blues pushes her aside.)
Blues: My math is flawless, Biggie-
Biggie: (Picking up Mr. Dinkles) No! Please! I’m very grateful to you both, but I need time to think. (The holo-gram of Poppy reappears.)
Poppy: Null and void. Null and void. Null and void. Null and void. (Rhythm and Blues try to turn off the holo-gram machine. Later, they are at two separate science tables. A wormhole appears with a Deliver Bug. It drops off a letter and a basket of food.)
Rhythm: A gift basket? From Biggie?
Biggie: (In his head) Dear R, I wanted you to know that I’ve decided to take your advice and I wanted to say thank you. You’ve really given me perspective and I appreciate your help. Regards, Biggie.
Rhythm: Aw. (She looks at Blues and sighs.) Hey there, sibling supreme. Listen, I just want you to know that I’m sorry we disagreed. I was just trying to do right by Biggie.
Blues: Me too. I know we both just want what’s best for him.
Rhythm: We really do. And hopefully, with time, you’ll see that he made the right choice by taking my advice.
Blues: Hold up! Biggie jus told me he’s going to take my advice! I even got a fruit basket!
Rhythm: (Taking out her food basket) But he just told me… Excuse me! I gotta make sure Biggie’s talking to Dante!
Blues: No, I gotta make sure he’s not talking to Dante! (She and Rhythm run off. As they run setting traps, they sing Work It.)
(Rhythm)
Gotta beat the clock
Gotta set the pace
Gotta stay on top
Gotta come in first
I’m winning this race
(Blues)
Never slowing up
Never backing down
You ain’t keeping up
No, I’m stronger, faster
Wearing you out
(Both)
Ooh
(Rhythm)
Can’t get past
Way out front
(Blues)
Not so fast
Nah, nah, ooh
(Both)
Never last
Always first
Not so fast
Not so fast (They arrive at Biggie’s pod.)
Rhythm: Biggie, wait!
Blues: Don’t talk to- (Poppy pops up.)
Poppy: Hey, guys!
Rhythm and Blues: Poppy?
Rhythm: But, Biggie, I thought you were gonna take my advice and express how you felt about the re-gift.
Biggie: I am. ‘Cause you were right; I can’t ignore my feelings. But you were also right. I don’t want to embarrass Dante if I don’t have to.
Poppy: So he expressed his feelings to me instead.
Rhythm: So, you took both of our advice?
Blues: And came up with a 3rd option?
Biggie: Yes! And I’m glad I did! Because by talking things out with Poppy, I learned something very important.
Poppy: The cupcake dome was from me!
Rhythm and Blues: Say what?!
Poppy; Yeah, I went a little overboard and gave two friend-iversary gifts.
Rhythm: So Poppy just so happened to give you a cupcake dome that was just like the one you gave Dante last week?
Poppy and Biggie: Mm-hm.
Blues: But then what happened to the friend-iversary gift Dante gave you?
Biggie: Hm…
Mr. Dinkles: Mew. (He sticks out his tongue, revealing a present.)
Biggie: (gasps) Mr. Dinkles! Really?!
Rhythm: Wow. I guess we were so preoccupied trying to find the answer to Biggie’s problem that…
Blues: We never considered there might be more than one way to solve it.
Rhythm: Probably a good thing to keep in mind when giving advice in the future, huh, sis? (She and Blues hold hands.)
Blues: Oh, we will. ‘Cause…
Both: R and B are on it! (They give each other a hug.)
Poppy and Biggie: Aw! (Mr. Dinkles spits out another present.)
Poppy: Oh, that’s right! I got your three gifts. (Back at the pod where Rhythm and Blues do their podcast, they get it ready.)
Blues: Hello! You’re on the hair!
Dante: Yes, I fear that I have broken a beloved cupcake dome that was given to me by a dear friend. Do I replace it? Tell him what happened? Change my identity?! Oh, what does one do?!
Rhythm: Easy, caller. We’re here to help. But we need to take our time.
Blues: Yeah, ‘cause there are many ways to approach this problem and we wanna find the solution that works best for you.
Cooper: R! B! (He comes inside the pod.) You gotta help!
Rhythm: What is it?
Blues: Something wrong with Two-per?
Cooper: Oh, no, no, Two-per is fine. My problem is with 29-per! (More clones of Cooper appear and laugh. The screen then blacks out.) I can’t take it!
Category:TT Season 5 episode transcripts
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