Hotel Chill

==Prologue: The Enclosed Instruction Book==
Chill: Nice of Gary to invite us over for lunch, eh Mario?
Mario: I hope he made lotsa pie!
Chill and Mario arrive in the Gadget Room and find CK and LMGT waiting for them. The Gadget Room is a huge mess and Gary isn't there but none of them seem to notice.
LMGT: Hey doods, have you seen Gary? I need FOOOOOOOOOD!
Mario: He's not here?
CK: Yeah, we got here first and the Gadget Room door was unlocked so we decided to just hang out here.
Chill: Wow bad, imagine inviting us to lunch and then not being here.
Suddenly, the Gadget Room doors slide open and in walks EPF agent The Ed!
Ed: The "The" is silent, you absolute nerd.
Fine, EPF agent Ed.
Chill: Hey Ed, did Gary invite you to lunch too?
Ed: No, I'm here on official business. Someone called in a lot of commotion here earlier.
PSA, who was apparently standing in the corner this whole time, nods in acknowledgement and leaves through a door to nowhere that casually disappears after he closes it.
Ed begins walking around the room, looking at the mess as everyone else follows behind him out of curiosity. Suddenly they all hear a lot of noise coming from a closet. Ed opens the door and Wheel-Bot falls out.
Wheel-Bot: PANIC AND FEAR!
Ed: What's Wheel-Bot doing locked in the closet?
CK: Oh, he was making a lot of noise and it was kind of annoying so we just shoved him in there.
Ed: What happened here, Wheel-Bot?
Wheel-Bot: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ed: Well he's not going to be much help.
After investigating some more, Ed finds a letter on the table and picks it up.
Ed: There's jelly stains on it...
Everyone turns to look at LMGT.
Chill: I thought you said you didn't have any food.
LMGT: Oh, no, I never said I didn't have food, I said I NEEDED food. I brought a pre-lunch box of donuts!
Mario: But how did it get on the letter?
LMGT: I had to use a napkin...
Ed: It's from Herbert! "Dear pesky penguins, I have broken into the Gadget Room! Gary is now a permanent guest at one of ten villainous hotels. I dare you to find him if you can!"
Mario: Wait, isn't this a Hotel Mario parody? I thought there were only seven hotels.
Well there were but the Big Man will get mad if I write a story that has a total number of chapters where the last number isn't 0 or 5.
Chill: But Paper Chill had 8 chapters...
That's different, it was a video game parody story.
Chill: And this isn't?
I WANTED TO WRITE TEN CHAPTERS DANGIT LEAVE ME ALONE
Fourth Wall: I hate you all by the way. Just wanted to get that out there.
CK: Who are you anyway? You don't sound like any of the other authors.
Oh, right. The name's Boo. I'll be you're author for today.
Suddenly Goombario fell from the ceiling to interrupt me.
Goombario: "You're author"... "YOU'RE AUTHOR"??? That's grammatically incorrect! Really, a your/you're error? What is this, 2011?
Leave me alone, I'm new talent! Anyway, this is going to be a fun story! You get to go through all the hotels and solve puzzles to save Gary and meet funny characters! We also upped production value so now we have these!
----
Mario: Fancy! ...But what does it do 🤔
Their used to separate things like different floors on the hotel and RPG battles!
Goombario: Grammatically incorrect! It's they're, not their!
All of a sudden Goombario got struck by lightning indoors. Funny how that works.
Goombario: BLAGIAGAGAG
Chill: This sounds like a lot of new mechanics... Can't we just wander around in circles and talk about nothing in particular until a boss shows up and then do that for like 20 chapters?
No, that's dumb.
Chill: Well yeah but it's a lot simpler.
Too bad. Luckily for you, I'm nice and have a tutorial ready!
RPG Box: Hello everyone, it's me RPG Box and I'm here for your tutorial today!
RPG Box snaps his fingers and everyone is now in front of a hotel.
RPG Box: I don't even have hands...
Fine, RPG Box spontaneously grows a hand and snaps his fingers which teleports everyone in front of a hotel. You guys are making this really hard for me, you know???
RPG Box: That felt gross... Anyway, welcome to the RPG Box Tutorial Inn! Here I'll introduce you to the basics of puzzle solving and-
Glomgold: SORRY SQUARE MAN, THIS HOTEL IS NOW PROPERTY OF GLOMGOLD INDUSTRIES! AAAAHAHAHAHAAH!
RPG Box: FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD???
Glomgold: THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S ME, FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD FROM DUCKTALES ON DISNEY XD! THE MOST SCOTTISH AND THE second MOST RICHEST DUCK IN THE WORLD!
CK: But KD is the new XD!
Glomgold: WELL TELL THAT TO THE MOUSE, I DON'T MAKE THE DECISIONS.
RPG Box: But how? I specifically appointed the most apathetic board of directors ever to make them immune to bribery!
----
FLASHBACK!
Glomgold sits down at a table with a large group of black puffles.
Glomgold: SO, I'M WILLING TO GIVE YOU THIS GIANT BAG OF PUFFLE O'S FOR THE RPG BOX TUTORIAL INN. WHAT DO YOU SAY?
The puffles show no interest.
Glomgold: Eh, okay... Well what about if I throw in TWENTY GALLONS OF HOT SAUCE! AAAHAHAAH!
The puffles exchange glances between each other and start jumping up and down and squeaking enthusiastically.
Glomgold: PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, GENTLEMEN!
----
RPG Box: Well fri-
Hey, keep it g-rated!
RPG Box: But I was only going to say fr-
G-RATED!!!
RPG Box explodes.
Glomgold: ANYWAY, I HAVE A HOTEL TO RENOVATE, SEE YOU LATER!
Glomgold runs inside the hotel which instantly renovates itself because reality bends to my will, fear me casuals!
LMGT: Guys, I'm hungry... :(
Wheel-Bot: COFFEE IS SERVED!
LMGT: Eh, that'll work.
LMGT takes the coffee cup from Wheel-Bot and eats the whole thing.
RPG Box: So are you guys going to enter the hotel or what? We still have a tutorial to do.
Hey, didn't I destroy you?
RPG Box: I can't be destroyed in an unskippable tutorial!
The party enters the hotel, followed by RPG Box.
----
Glomgold Industries Suites: Lobby
Generic Desk Clerk: Hello and welcome to the Glomgold Industries Suites. We're better than McDuck or your money back, but if you think we aren't you're obviously lying so we won't give you your money back. That's our slogan by the way.
Mario: Imagine coming up with a slogan that bad.
Suddenly, Glomgold's voice comes booming out of a loudspeaker.
Glomgold: I HEARD THAT! JUST SO YOU KNOW THE ENTIRE HOTEL IS BUGGED AND ANY TIME YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT US WE DOUBLE YOUR BILL. AHAHAHA!
Chill: But we don't even have a room or anything yet!
Glomgold: JOKE'S ON YOU, YOUR BILL STARTS ONCE YOU STEP FOOT IN THE BUILDING.
Generic Desk Clerk: ...So uh, do you want to rent some rooms?
Ed: Why would we want to do that?
Glomgold: BECAUSE IF YOU COME HERE AND DON'T RENT A ROOM, WE CHARGE YOU A FREELOADING FEE WHICH COSTS TWICE AS MUCH AS THE PRICE OF A ROOM! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
CK: What kind of ridiculous hotel are you running here??
Glomgold: ONE THAT WILL EVENTUALLY MAKE ME THE RICHEST DUCK IN THE WORLD! YOU SEE, I WAS INSPIRED BY THE CONCEPT OF MICROTRANSACTIONS, BUT THEN I THOUGHT WHAT IF THOSE MICROTRANSACTIONS WEREN'T SO MICRO AND WERE ALSO MANDATORY. SO HERE WE ARE.
Chill: Fiiiine... What's the cheapest room you have?
Generic Desk Clerk: Oh, we only have one price option. I assume you're going to want six rooms since it's company policy that we only let one person stay in a room.
Chill: ...Do you have a complaints department?
Generic Desk Clerk: Of course.
The clerk points at a desk with a large flashing sign saying "COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT" above it and an excessively tacky amount of arrows in various sizes and colors pointing at it. Chill starts walking toward it before being stopped when CK grabs his sleeve.
CK: Chill, didn't you hear Glomgold? That's obviously just a trap to squeeze even more money out of customers.
Chill: Oh right...
Ed: So... What are we supposed to do now?
RPG Box flies over to the party with a bag of chips.
RPG Box: Yikes, those vending machines are overpriced.
CK: Why did you buy an overpriced bag of chips if you have no mouth?
RPG Box: ...CURSE YOU, BOO!
LMGT: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!
LMGT takes the bag of chips, opens it, drops them all in his mouth, and then runs over to the vending machine to buy more overpriced snacks.
RPG Box: Anyway, this is usually the part where you'll get a temporary party member to help solve the hotel's puzzles.
To do the continuation at some point in the future
Category:Not So EPF series