Smashtasm - Episode 5/Transcript

(Logo saying “Smashtasm” appears) 
Narrator: Last time on Smashtasm...
Super64: Where's 1337f0x?!
Gront: Our boss Girem6 is holding him hostage.
Super64: Well looks like this "Girem6" means business.
Girem6: All according to plan. (laughs)
Princess H: Actually, he hired a lot of people to find you. That's why you're in danger.
Super64: Don't touch that banana, Lamp! You'll create a time paradox!
Lamp: Yippee!
Super64: You know how to stop Girem6?
Princess H: But, of course. Girem6 had to have an escape plan. So he created a detonator that would destroy all of the hacks Girem6 had put together.
Super64: I think this is the last piece.
Princess H: We did it, Super64! Behold! The detonator!
Super64: Oh my god! We're not dead!
(Intro plays)
(Scene shifts to 1337f0x and Lamp's prison cell)
Lamp: you know, this situation reminds me of the time I got trapped in Walmart. E-Except I wasn't really trapped, it was more like I was shopping. And it wasn't Walmart as much as it was my closet. You know, I-I like to think it was Walmart-
1337f0x: Shut up! Shut up! All you done for the past hour is tell that same story!
Lamp: On 1337f0x, you're so smart! I just want yo give you a big hug!
(The light starts to flicker and suddenly turns on)
1337f0x: Hey, the lights!
(Super64 lands on top of the switch, freeing 1337f0x and Lamp from their cell)
Super64: Ha ha!
1337f0x: Super64? I knew you'd save us!
Super64: Wow, really?
1337f0x: Of course not! But if I say it, you'll assume I did.
Super64: I missed you too!
(1337f0x begins to laughing along with Super64, who is laughing insanely and is cover with the Smash Ball aura)
1337f0x: Alright, seriously. You're gonna have to stop with that creepy laugh thing. It's not funny, it's just weird.
(Princess H appears besides Super64)
Super64: Alright, I'd love to stay and catch up, but I have some unfinished business. You three go through the other cells and release the rest of the prisoners. I'll go up ahead and deliver the detonator to Girem6. Meet me back in server 44C in 10 minutes.
Princess H: Alright then!
1337f0x: Sounds good!
Lamp: Additional generic agreement!
(Princess H, 1337f0x, and Lamp begin to leave the room)
Super64: Oh, and 1337f0x. (1337f0x stops and approaches Super64) If I'm not out of here in 10 minutes. Find me.
1337f0x: I understand. Don't worry Super64, I have your back. I always will.
Super64: You're a true friend, 1337. It's good to have you on my side.
(Lamp appears holding a can of soup)
Lamp: Guys, check it out! I got all the soup!
(Scene shifts to Girem6's base, with the monitor showing "Security Breach")
Girem6: It looks like we got a security breach. Alan, put up Super64 on the monitor.
Alan: Rawr. I'm trying boss, but I can't seem to locate his position.
Girem6: Wait, then that means...
(Super64 appears on the left platform holding the detonator)
Super64: Ha ha!
Girem6: Super64!
Super64: That's right! And I'm here to put an end to your this scheme. With this! (Reveals the detonator)
Girem6: My detonator! How did you get that?!
Super64: It was easy! You're guards are just stupid.
(Scene shifts to Grant standing at a lakeside)
Narrator: Elsewhere...
Grant: Hm... Gront, I can't help but feel like we're supposed to be doing something right about now.
Gront: What did you say, Grant? I couldn't hear you on the account I was too busy lining up these Motion-Sensor Bombs in a perfect row.
Grant: Gront! That's dangerous! One of us can accidentally step on one of those and set up a chain reaction.
Gront: Oh my god! You're right! Especially with that banana peel so dangerously close to your feet. You could trip and easily set them all off.
Grant: You're right. I totally could. And that would suck.
(A small pause occurs and then Grant gets eaten by a dinosaur. Scene shifts back to Girem6's base)
Super64: So anyway, this detonator will reverse every hack you ever made. And as soon as it does, I'm calling in the admins and getting you banned.
Girem6: No. No! This is impossible!
Super64: I'm afraid not, it's over Girem6!
Super64: Detonator throw!
(Super64 throws the detonator which creates a massive explosion, but Girem6 is still standing unscathed)
Super64: Wait, the stage is still frozen. I don't get it, wh-why didn't the detonator bring it back into motion?
Girem6: (laughs) You're so gullible. This detonator does nothing. It was a mere distraction!
Super64: No.
Girem6: I knew Princess had time to try and screw me over someday, heh heh heh heh. That's why I had to trick her into doing my will.
Super64: What?
Girem6: She got you here, Super64. And that's exactly what I wanted.
Super64: (stammers) Why me? I don't even know you!
Girem6: Oh Super64, you- you have no idea.
Super64: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute I get it. This is about Greg isn't it? He was your idol and I-I stopped him and now you're having your revenge. Greg was evil okay? He was trying to take over everything. He was trying to ruin the game for everyone. Why would you want to avenge someone like that?
Girem6: Well, you're half-right. Greg was trying to control everything. But you did not stop him. You see Super64, I'm not avenging Greg, (voice modifier turns off) I AM Greg. (laughs evilly)
Super64: No. No! Greg? But-but you were banned from Smashtasm! W-we made sure of it!
Greg: Oh, well I must be mistaken then. No, I'm pretty sure I'm still here.
Super64: So it's been you this whole time?!
Greg: Oh come on, wasn't it obvious? I mean, I feel like I made it really obvious.
(Monitor shows "Girem6" the letters rearrange saying "im Greg")
Super64: Wow, now just I feel stupid.
Greg: Yeah, you tend to do that a lot.
Super64: Damn you, Greg!
(Super64 begins to attack Greg, who doesn't seem to take any damage)
Greg: Oh come on, did you really think that would work. You know who I am, don't you? (Super64 continues attacking Greg) Okay, this is sad. Now I just feel sorry for you. (Super64 cotinues trying to hit Greg) ENOUGH!
(Girem6 scissor kicks Super64 upwards and throws him down into the stage, who lands inside a secret lab)
Super64: Stop this, Greg! It's gone far enough!
Greg: Why should I?
Super64: Because, well, this is really unpleasant for me and-and I don't like it at all!
Greg: ...You're really bad at this.
Super64: Huh, I don't know why I though that would work. You'll never get away with this, Greg! You're obviously the bad guy here, and the bad guy always loses!
Greg: Really? Is that really you're logic? You think you're fighting for thr good guys?
Super64: Pretty much. I mean, you pay hackers to mess with people in a video game meant for children. You're kind of a dick.
Greg: Oh, how tragic. (jumps and vanishes) Well I suppose that's why get people like you to stop me. (reappears behind Super64 and grabs him) So come on then, stop me. You're a mod right? You should be able to press a button and make me disappear forever. So what are you waiting for?
Super64: I- well...
Greg: Yeah, that's what I thought. You don't know who to do anything. You're just a noob. A noob with a meaningless title. Meanwhile the people like me, the people who could acutally make a difference here, gets labeled as hackers and were banned for life. Do you realize how ridiculous that is?
Super64: Not even a little.
Greg: Geez.  How did you even become a mod in the first place?
Super64: Cause I stopped you, remember?
Greg: Did you? Did you really? Let's take a look, shall we?
(A monitor pops up showing Super64 and 1337f0x in Skyword)
Super64: (on monitor) Oh man, I can't believe they made another Smash Brothers! Look at these graphics! Nintendo sure knows how to cater to its hardcore gamer fanbase!
1337f0x: It's funny that you think that, but also very depressing.
(An admin appears behind Super64)
Admin: Excuse me, but which one of you is Super64?
Super64: Hey, that's the name that I have!
Admin: It's great to finally meet you! I'm with the Smashtasm admins, and we're looking to recruit some moderators. I heard that you were able to prevent the notorious hacker Greg from taking over our servers back in Melee.
Super64: Well actually, it was 1337f0x that-(1337f0x is gone) 1337f0x?
1337f0x: (in Super64's head) Don't tell them about me.
Super64: 1337f0x?! How are you doing that?!
1337f0x: I'm a hacker, Super64. If the admins found out about that, they'll ban me from the game.
Super64: But they're offering mod position. You can really make a difference here.
1337f0x: I know, that's why I need you to do it.
Super64: Me? But, I don't know how any of this stuff works!
1337f0x: I'm aware, and that's why it's hilarious. I'm gonna lay low for a while, they're obviously increasing security. Take the position, Super64. You're gonna suck at this, but it will be entertaining.
Super64: Well that doesn't sound like a very good reason at all. (short pause) 1337f0x?
Admin: Who are you talking to?
Super64: Oh, sorry I was... on the phone or something. I don't know.
Admin: So, do you want the job or not.
Super64: Uh, yes! Yes I do! I'm extremely capable of doing this! And I'm not lying when I say that.
Admin: I didn't assume you were.
Super64: Oh, okay. Good. Good.
(The monitor turns off)
Super64: So you've been recording everything I been doing for the past several months?
Greg: Yeeeees.
Super64: Do you have any hobbies that aren't creepy and or sad?
Greg: It really depends on how you define creepy. Sometime I collect pieces of other people's-
Super64: (quickly interrupting) Never mind! Never mind!
Greg: You're powerless against me, Super64. You always were.
Super64: Well that may be true, but I'm at least I can admit it in a dramatic tone of voice.
Greg: (chuckles) Good. Good. Better save some of that up for your big premiere.
Super64: What's that supposed to mean? (Greg is gone) Really?! Come on!
(Scene shtifs to Delfino Plaza with 1337f0x, Lamp, and Princess H waiting for Super64)
1337f0x: Something's wrong. He should have been back by now.
Lamp: Maybe he missed the bus!
1337f0x: Are you even paying attention?!
Lamp: Probably not.
(A monitor pops us showing Greg)
Greg: Attention, players of Smashtasm.
1337f0x: Oh crap!
Greg: I hope you're all enjoying your online experience. Not really though. I just wanted to inform you all that I, Girem6, have captured your precious Super64 and there's nothing you can do about it! (laughs)
(A small screen shows Super64 captured)
Super64: 1337f0x! Help me! Girem6 is really Greg! And he trapped me! And-and I'm getting really bored in here! So yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it. Help!
(Super64 disappears with Greg laughing.)
Greg: You see how easily your leader fallen into my traps.
Fox Player: Who the hell are these people?
Lucas Player: I dunno, let's just keep playing.
Greg: Just letting you all know that opposing me is dangerous. From now on, my word is law. Smashtasm belongs to me!
(laughs evilly and then the monitor disappears)
1337f0x: Oh nose! Greg! It was him the whole time! This is even worse that I thought. We have to stop him.
Lamp: Don't worry! I have a plan!
1337f0x: A already don't like it!
Lamp: Oh, well never mind. If you don't like it, I guess no one else does.
1337f0x: If I know Greg, he's already one step ahead of us. If we're going to fight him, we're gonna need a plan that works. Even if he already knows about it.
Princess H: Do you even hear yourself? That's impossible! It's the three of us and this guy has an army.
1337f0x: Then we're gonna need an army too.
Princess H: You don't mean-
1337f0x: Yes. We must ask. the Internet.
(Screen fades to black and shows l337f0x's team and Greg)
Narrator: It looks as though the writers- I mean uh 1337f0x and the gang are getting desperate. How will they stop the all-knowing and omnipotent Girem6? I don't know. But maybe you do! Leave a message in the comment box below the video. You can customize it to say whatever you want! Who knows? Your response could be featured in the next episode of Smashtasm! See you next time! Whenever that is.
Category:Transcript pages