Mr. Character's Awesome Games (April 1, 2022)

On April 1, 2022, mXD aired a special episode of Mr. Character's Awesome Games. It was meant to be the first episode of season 2, however, due to several incidents that occurred during production of the episode, the show was abruptly canceled during filming.
==Transcript==
(the intro plays and Mr. Character is shown entering the stage with the audience applauding)
Narrator: This is Mr. Character's Awesome Games. With your host: Mr. Character!
Mr. Character: Thank you! (the audience is still clapping) Thank you! (the audience is still clapping) Thank you... (the audience is still clapping, Mr. Character gets out a gun and fires so the audience will shut up) Thank you! Hello and welcome to Mr. Character's Awesome Games, the best game show on mXD titled "Mr. Character's Awesome Games." Please welcome our first contestant: Squidward Tentacles!
(the audience cheers as Squidward walks on stage)
Mr. Character: Welcome to the show, Mr. Tentacles! Are you excited to play?
Squidward: I have no idea what's going on, I have never watched this show before and the producers didn't give me the guide on how to play the game.
Mr. Character: Great! Let's play Mr. Character's Awesome Games!
Squidward: Wait what?
Mr. Character: Please take your seat as we start Round 1!
(ROUND 1)
Mr. Character: We will start with a simple questions and answering game. These questions are pretty easy.
Squidward: Oh good.
Mr. Character: Your first question: When is my birthday?
Squidward: Oh this is easy, I know this.
Mr. Character: Is it A) June 31st?
Squidward: What?
Mr. Character: B) February 30th?
Squidward: You said-
Mr. Character: Or C) February 31st?
Squidward: You told me when your birthday was and it's none of these dates. Were you lying to me?
Mr. Character: I can't help you.
Squidward: ...these aren't even real dates? Is this a trick question?
Mr. Character: Nope.
Squidward: ...OK. I guess I'll go with A) June 31st.
Mr. Character: Incorrect, the actual answer was August 18th. That is when my birthday is.
Squidward: WHAT?! THAT WASN'T AN OPTION!
Mr. Character: Bad news Squidward, that means you're in last place with 0 points, we'll see you in round 2 where hopefully you'll be able to get some points!
(the audience claps as Squidward leaves)
Mr. Character: Please welcome our next contestant, Patrick Star!
(the audience cheers as Patrick walks on stage)
Mr. Character: Welcome to the show Patrick!
Patrick: I'm fine thank you.
(Mr. Character looks confused)
Mr. Character: Uhh here's your first question. Which of these is the worst thing in the world?
Squidward: (backstage) He's not gonna get this.
Mr. Character Is it A) A long illness. B) Making a typo on the internet. Or C) Death.
Patrick: Oh. Wow, that is a really hard question. They're all terrible. Uhh. I am going to go with B. Making a typo on the internet.
Mr. Character: ...That is the correct answer!
(applause)
Patrick: Is that good?
Mr. Character: Yes that means you get 100 points, and we move on to question 2. Which of these is a serial killer suspected of 100 murders in total. A) Sandman. B) Superman. Or C) Spiderman.
Patrick: Ooh. Oh this is another hard one. Can I get any help on this game?
Mr. Character: Uhh... Nah.
Patrick: Oh. I'll go with Sandman then.
Mr. Character: ...That is the correct answer! You get another 100 points and... (picks up a bucket filled with sand) A bucket of sand.
Patrick: Yay, I always wanted a bucket of sand!
Mr. Character: OK here's your next question... What episode of the US Sitcom Friends-
Patrick: Pass.
Mr. Character: ...you don't want to hear the rest of the question?
Patrick: Pass.
Mr. Character: ...OK Patrick, you have 200 points which puts you ahead of Squidward.
Squidward: (backstage) WHAT?!
Mr. Character: And our final contestant today is SpongeBob.
(the audience claps as SpongeBob walks on stage)
Mr. Character: Now this format is getting boring so I am going to read the questions as fast as possible.
SpongeBob: ...ok.
Mr. Character: When did the world end?
SpongeBob: April 22, 2021.
Mr. Character: Correct. 100 points. What is the political party Sex On The Beach In 1986's slogan?
SpongeBob: Uhh I believe that is "Finger Lickin' Good."
Mr. Character: Correct. You are now at 200 points. What is today's Daily Mario Wiki?
SpongeBob: Well I saw it while I was waiting for the show to begin and the answer is the List of Play Nintendo opinion polls.
Mr. Character: ...that is correct. You are now at 300 points. In the subtitle poop for A Muppet Family Christmas, what flight was Fozzie's Mother supposed to board?
SpongeBob: Flight 370.
Mr. Character: ...CORRECT! And your final question, to win the maximum of 500 points, What is the late Suzy Sheep's sexuality?
SpongeBob: She is a lesbian.
Mr. Character: CORRECT! Congratulations SpongeBob! You are now in the lead, with 500 points! (applause) We'll have round 2 for you right after this break.
(ad break)
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(end of ad break)
(applause)
Mr. Character: Welcome back to Mr. Character's Awesome Games. SpongeBob is in first place with 500 points, Patrick is in second with 200 points, and Squidward is in last place with no points at all. Let's play round 2.
(round 2: SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are standing in front of buzzers)
Squidward: What are the rules for round 2?
Mr. Character: You'll find out...
Squidward: ...what does-
Mr. Character: (reading out a question) What-
(Patrick buzzes in immediately)
Patrick: Platypus.
Mr. Character: ...unbelievably the question was "what is the only semi-aquatic mammal to lay eggs?" The answer was Platypus! (applause)
SpongeBob: Good job, Patrick!
Patrick: Thanks SpongeBob! (he turns to Squidward, who doesn't look as impressed)
Squidward: You just got lucky. (Patrick looks sad)
Mr. Character: Now, you currently have 200 points, SpongeBob has 500 points, and Squidward has 0 points. But, in this round you get to take points away from one of the players, which player do you want to take points away from?
Patrick: Squidward.
Squidward: What? But I don't have any points.
Mr. Character: So you've decided to take points away from Squidward. I am going to ask you some questions, if you get them right, 100 points will be taken away from Squidward. If you get them wrong, the round is over. If you don't know the answer, just say "pass." Are you ready?
Patrick: Apples.
Mr. Character: Great, let's go. What's permission to be away from one's military unit for a limited period of time called?
Patrick: I don't know... Uhh... Pass.
Mr. Character: Correct! When you succeed in an exam, what is it called?
Patrick: I didn't do well in school... Pass.
Mr. Character: Correct! What do you say when you don't know the answer to a question on a quiz show?
Patrick: Ooh. I have never been in a situation where I have needed to do this... Pass.
Mr. Character: Correct! What village in Poland-
Patrick: Pass.
Mr. Character: Correct! Which character in the sitcom Friends-
Patrick: Pass.
Mr. Character: Incorrect. But you have taken 400 points away from Squidward, leaving him with -400 points, but you now have 600 points, putting you in the lead! (applause)
Squidward: This is bullshit.
(the audience gasps, an alarm goes off)
Mr. Character: Uh oh Squidward, you know what that means.
Squidward: I actually don't.
Mr. Character: You said a bad word, so that means...
(security take Squidward)
Squidward: Oh, thank you, please take me away from this show. (security take Squidward to a small glass box) Wait, where are we going? (they put him in the glass box and leave him in there) WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
Mr. Character: Now Squidward, do you want to get out of there?
Squidward: YES!
Mr. Character: Great. (gives Patrick question cards)
Squidward: Wait what's happening? (Patrick sits in a chair next to where Squidward is)
Mr. Character: Patrick is going to ask you a question if you get this right you win 3000 points and you get out of the box.
Squidward: ...ok.
Patrick: Squidward, what is the girl variant of boi?
Squidward: Girl variant of... Oh, it's got to be gal surely.
Patrick: Nope, the answer is "giri."
Squidward: What?
Mr. Character: Oh dear, you didn't get that right which means... (he presses a button that puts loads of sea spiders in the cage, Squidward can be heard screaming) Do you still want to get out of the box?
Squidward: (still screaming) YES!!!
Mr. Character: OK, if you get this question right you get 2000 points and you get out of the box.
Patrick: (reading the question: who bombed the Bikini Bottom Hospital a few months ago?) Oh. Oh boy...
Mr. Character: You OK, Patrick?
Patrick: Uh yes, yes, I'm fine. Uhh, Squidward. Who bombed the Bikini Bottom Hospital a few months ago?
Squidward: Oh, that was... You. That was you who did that, I saw you!
Patrick: Uhh... (he looks at the question card again, it does say it was him) Uhh... (he flashbacks to him bombing the hospital) Well Squidward... (Patrick breaks open the box, releasing the sea spiders into the studio and starts beating Squidward up)
Mr. Character: Oh my goodness! 
(SpongeBob runs over)
SpongeBob: Patrick, you've got to calm down.
(the sea spiders are attacking members of the audience, who are now screaming, security run onto the set and remove Patrick)
Patrick: YOU HAVE NO EVIDENCE!
(Mr. Character and SpongeBob look shocked after the incident)
Mr. Character: ...we'll be right back.
(ad break)
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(end of ad break)
Mr. Character: Welcome back to the show, due to what happened before the advert break, Patrick has been removed from the show and will be replaced with another contestant.
(cuts to Squidward who is now all bandaged up)
Squidward: Thank god.
Mr. Character: Please welcome Squilliam Fancyson!
Squidward: WHAT?!
(Squilliam walks on the stage)
Mr. Character: Thanks for joining us on such short notice.
Squilliam: Oh, I would never miss an opportunity to play a game show with Squidward. (laughs)
Mr. Character: Great. Now, before we went to the break, SpongeBob had the least amount of points (500) so he has been eliminated. Patrick had 600 points, which have now been given to Squilliam, and Squidward would be on 1400 points, had Patrick not beaten him up, but he now has 1400 points, which puts him in the lead!
(applause)
Squilliam: Not for long...
Squidward: Oh come on, there's no way you'll be able to get more points than me.
Mr. Character: Now, we're going to get rid of all your points. They never meant anything to begin with.
Squidward: WHAT?!
Mr. Character: Now let's play the final round.
(FINAL ROUND)
Mr. Character: In this round, all you have to do is get 5 questions right, and you win the big prize. Here's the first question... What video game did former lawyer Jack Thompson call "the gravest assault upon children in this country since polio"?
(Squilliam quickly buzzes in)
Squilliam: Grand Theft Auto IV.
Mr. Character: Correct. What's the name of a game show where an adult who had been put up for adoption as an infant had to pick out who their father was?
(Squidward buzzes in)
Squidward: Who's your daddy?
Mr. Character: Correct. What unproduced film did George Miller say "if you put a gun to my head and said, 'You have to come up with a story for it' I'd say shoot me."
(Squilliam buzzes in)
Squilliam: Happy Feet 3.
Mr. Character: Correct. What is the full name of Jacob Rees-Mogg's child Sixtus?
(Squilliam buzzes in)
Squilliam: Sixtus Dominic Boniface Christopher Rees-Mogg.
Mr. Character: Correct. Where do polar bears that are considered troublesome or dangerous go?
(Squilliam buzzes in)
Squilliam: Polar bear jail.
Mr. Character: Correct. What was the UK Christmas number one in 2000?
(Squilliam buzzes in)
Squilliam: Bob the Builder - "Can We Fix It?"
Mr. Character: ...CORRECT! THAT'S 5, YOU'VE WON MY AWESOME GAMES!
(Squilliam laughs at Squidward)
Squilliam: Maybe you should go on that Candy Crush game show! (everyone, except Squidward, laughs)
(Squidward notices something)
Squidward: HOLD ON! (takes an earpiece out of Squilliam's ear) Look! He's been cheating! (audience gasps) Somebody must've been telling him the answers through the earpiece!
Squilliam: Wait, wait, I can explain!
Mr. Character: Well Squilliam, for cheating, you have been disqualified! (presses a button)
Squilliam: ...what did you do? (a hole opens where Squilliam was standing causing him to fall through it) NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mr. Character: And that means Squidward, you are today's winner, and win the big prize of $1!
Squidward: Thank you! Thank you- wait what?!
Mr. Character: That's right, $1!
Squidward: ...SO I HAVE GONE THROUGH ALL OF THIS JUST TO WIN ONE DOLLAR?!
Mr. Character: Well, we don't have a very good budget.
Squidward: What- but- this is-
Mr. Character: Join us next week when 3 new contestants will be playing my awesome games! Oh- I have just been informed that the show has been canceled and will not be coming back next week... Well. I am not really sure what to say now... Goodbye? Thanks for nothing, my show still got canceled.
(the end)
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