Prim Episode

"Prim Episode" is the fifth episode of SBFW: THREE'S A CROWD. Written fittingly by PrimitiveSponge129, the episode was first aired on September 6, 2022 on Edgemo. It won Best Elmo/Oscar/Ernie Rated Episode at the 10th Square Logo Awards.
===Synopsis===
, Super Grover and are stuck in a broken elevator.
===Transcript===
[The episode starts in the mall with , wearing a , on the phone. He has a bag full of groceries in one arm.]
Peter Griffin: Don't worry Lois, I got everything you asked me to get. [pause] Yes, I got 's dog food. [pause] Yeah, it's the martini flavour that he likes.
[Text flashes on screen saying "PETER GRIFFIN".]
Peter Griffin: Yes Lois, I did actually get the groceries. What, did you think I'd forget? You're married to Peter Griffin, honey. You can always count on me.
[Peter walks into the elevator.]
Peter Griffin: Okay, fine. Aside from . [pause] And . [pause] And . [pause] And okay, fine, so maybe I forget the groceries on a regular basis, but this time is different, honey. I promise! And furthermore–
[The mall's alarm sounds. , wearing a ski-mask, dashes into the elevator, holding a . He bumps into Peter.]
Peter Griffin: Hey! What was that for–
[Wario shushes him. He repeatedly presses the close button on the elevator until the door closes.]
Peter Griffin: Mister, you have got a LOT of explaining to do!
[Text flashes on screen saying "WARIO".]
Wario: Oh, uh, sorry about-a-that. I realize that-a-seeing a robbery happen in-a-real time might not–
Peter Griffin: Oh, no, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about bumping into me! In the middle of a !
Wario: OH! Oh, yeah, that, uh… might not have been that-a-bright of me, now that I think about it.
[Peter and Wario douse themselves in hand sanitizer before moving to opposing sides of the elevator.]
Peter Griffin: Geez, I hope I don't got any germs on me. Lois will be so mad at me if she finds out I'm carrying COVID…
[A distant scream is heard from above, before Super Grover crashes into the elevator, landing face-first. He slowly gets up, pulls his cape out of his sight, and lifts up his knight visor. Text flashes on screen saying "SUPER GROVER".]
Super Grover: Oh, sorry about that fellas. I heard the siren and I had to come down to help right away.
Peter Griffin: .
Wario: MAMMA MIA! This elevator ride-a-just got a lot more awkward.
Super Grover: So, have you fine gentlemen seen where the crime has taken place?
[Cut to a minimal black and white titlecard that says "PRIM EPISODE", before cutting back to the elevator.]
Wario: I… uh… [he hides the money bag behind his back, and in an attempt to evade the question, states:] Say, why aren't you wearing a mask?
Super Grover: A mask? [he begins to heartily laugh] You mean you believe in that "coronavirus" nonsense?
Peter Griffin: Um, yeah. It's all over the news.
Super Grover: And you are allowing the to persuade you? [scoffs] You two are some of the finest sheeple I have ever laid eyes on.
Wario: [takes out his phone and does a search] Approximately six million people have-a-died due to it.
Super Grover: Must have been the wind.
Peter Griffin: Six million people don't just die because of the wind!
Super Grover: Well too bad. Whatever I say is correct, because I am a real superhero, and superheroes are always right.
Peter Griffin: No way! You're a REAL superhero?! I have to add you to the list of superheroes I've met! I'm gonna tell Lois all about this when I get out of this elevator.
Wario: About that, I think-a-this elevator is broken.
Peter Griffin: Oh, oh, oh this is perfect.
Wario: Hey Grover–
Super Grover: That is SUPER Grover to you.
Wario: Whatever. Super Grover, if-a-you are a real superhero, then why don't you use-a-your woke superpowers to get us out of this elevator?
Super Grover: Oh, I– yeah, that would be a logical way out of this mess.
Peter Griffin: Huh. Good thinking.
[Super Grover goes over to pry the elevator door open, but he suddenly turns to the other two.]
Super Grover: But before I do that…
[Peter and Wario groan.]
Super Grover: I think we should get to know each other.
Peter Griffin: Get to know each other?
Super Grover: Of course! If we are going to be stuck in this elevator for a while, we might as well get to know one another.
Wario: But, weren't you going to–
Super Grover: Here, I will go first. [clears his throat] My name is Super Grover. I am a cute and fuzzy superhero who flies above the skies of and helps people in need!
Wario: …and you're a .
Super Grover: Yes, and I am proud of it. But anyway, that is beside the point. Which one of you is going to go next?
Peter Griffin: [excitedly jumps up and down with his hand raised] Ooh, ooh, can I go? Can I go?
Super Grover: Sure. What is your name?
Peter Griffin: I'm Peter Griffin.
[silence]
Wario: Is… is that it?
Peter Griffin: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm, uhh… married. I have a wife, , and a dog with .
Wario: Well, looks like-a-you have a busy life.
Peter Griffin: Oh boy do I.
Wario: Guess that leaves me. I'm-a-Wario. I am a… [thinking of a nice, subtle way of saying "rude" and "greedy"] I am tough on-a-the outside, but sweet on the inside. And I have an affinity and interest in-a-money. [pause] How it's made, I mean!
Peter Griffin: Oh, cool. Now can you tell us what's in that bag behind you that you hid ever since Super Grover got–
Wario: [interrupting Peter] Okay, we've introduced ourselves, now can you open the door, Super Grover?!
Super Grover: Oh, I… yeah, I guess I can do that.
[Super Grover goes over to the door again, ready to pry it open, before once again turning to Peter and Wario.]
Super Grover: Aaaaand it has just occurred to me that prying open elevator doors is WAY too big of a job for one cute blue superhero alone.
Peter Griffin: Oh no, what are we gonna do now?
Super Grover: Well, if we are going to open the door, we are going to need more than one superhero.
Wario: And just where are you going to get-a-more superheroes?
Super Grover: Why that is simple! I am going to turn you two into superheroes.
[Peter's jaw drops.]
Peter Griffin: Oh – my – God. You can really do that?
Super Grover: Oh, yeah. I can absolutely turn you guys into superheroes.
Peter Griffin: I have to be dreaming. I HAVE to be! Wario, pinch me! This cannot be real!
[Wario does so. Peter flinches in pain, but sees that he is still in the elevator.]
Peter Griffin: Oh my God, this is really happening! Okay, stay calm everyone, stay calm–
Super Grover: CAN YOU BE QUIET FOR A SECOND?!
[silence]
Super Grover: Oh, uh, sorry, what I meant to say was that… I cannot turn you into a superhero if you keep talking over me.
Peter Griffin: Oh, right. Sorry.
Super Grover: Right then. If you guys want to be real superheroes like me, you are going to have to follow every single one of my steps and do EXACTLY as I say, no questions asked. You got that?
Peter Griffin: Yes sir!
Wario: [to himself] I already have a superhero alter ego, but-a-sure.
Super Grover: Alright then. First step to becoming a superhero is to take off your masks and give them to me.
Peter Griffin: But–
Super Grover: Do it.
Wario: Uh, what about the–
Super Grover: NO QUESTIONS ASKED!
Peter Griffin: Okay, okay, geez.
[Peter and Wario reluctantly take off their masks and hand them over to Super Grover.]
Super Grover: Good, good.
Peter Griffin: Super Grover, sir, if I may ask, why do you need our ma–
Super Grover: Second step to becoming a superhero. I am going to need to take your phones.
Wario: What?! But I stole– I mean, got this phone fair and-a-square!
Super Grover: I said no questions asked and all you guys are doing are asking questions. I guess I cannot turn you into superheroes if you keep–
Peter Griffin: NO! I'm doing it, I'm doing it! [he takes out his phone and gives it to Super Grover]
Wario: Ugh, fine. [he, too, gives his phone to Super Grover]
Super Grover: Very good, you two. You are on the verge of becoming superheroes already!
Wario: What did you need our-a-phones for, exactly?
Super Grover: I said–
Wario: I know, I know, no questions asked and all, but I don't-a-think it would hurt if I asked just-a-one question.
Super Grover: Fine… if you really MUST know, I need your phones so you two cannot be exposed to the media– I MEAN– uh, when was the last time you have seen a superhero with a smartphone?
Peter Griffin: [thinking] That's a really good point.
Super Grover: Third step to becoming a superhero. Hand me your .
[A drum sting is played. Peter and Wario don't bother asking questions and give their hand sanitizer to Super Grover.]
Super Grover: Aaaand that should be all! Congratulations, you two! You are now Super Grover certified superheroes!
Peter Griffin: [jumps up in excitement] YIPPEE! Wait until Lois hears this!
Wario: So now that you've-a-done the superhero conversion magic of-a-taking all of our stuff away, can we open the door now?
Super Grover: Oh, yeah, certainly.
[The three walk over to the door and try to pry it open. The three use all of the strength in their bodies, but the door doesn't budge. They fall on the floor in exhaustion.]
Peter Griffin: That is one tough door.
Super Grover: Perhaps it is a job requiring four superheroes. Heh, my bad everyone.
Wario: [fuming] ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT, BOZO! I AM-A-DRAWING THE LINE! ALL-A-YOU DID TO "CONVERT US INTO SUPERHEROES" WAS TAKE AWAY OUR-A-STUFF AND… HECK, I DOUBT YOU ARE EVEN A REAL SUPERHERO!
Peter Griffin: [gasps] Are you implying that Super Grover is not a real superhero?
Super Grover: What– that- that- that- is nonsense! Of course I am a real superhero–
Wario: If you are a real-a-superhero, then WHY DON'T YOU PROVE IT?!
Super Grover: Alright, fine. I am going to fly, and when I do, you are going to be incredibly embarrassed!
Wario: [smugly] Go ahead. We are all-a-waiting.
Super Grover: Don't believe me? Just wait and see. Here I go… up, up and AWA–
[Super Grover flies straight into the wall of the elevator, knocking him unconscious. Peter and Wario stand around his fainted body.]
Wario: HA! Smells like LOSER in here! [he sniffs the air] Oh, no, that was just me. Sorry.
Peter Griffin: That reminds me, I have to take a giant crap right now.
[An obnoxious laugh track plays as the episode fades to black, ending.]
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