Rivian Lemen

== Rivian H. Lemen ==
+++BEGIN INQUISITORIAL FILE+++
Rivian Herald Lemen. Age 28, conscripted into the Imperial Guard at age 23 from the hive world of Lazarus XII. At age 25, he was sent to Archangel to fill in for its usual heavy losses. He considers himself "e' moss' focken robust wanka 'ere n' 'ou know eet," yet his tactical ability leaves much to be desired and any and all Guardsman Balls of steal is best searched for elsewhere on Archangel.
== Early Life and Personality ==
An orphan by the age of 15, Rivian learned to accept loss rather early on in his life, and this, combined with the absolute terrible conditions of his home world's hive, have turned him into one not easily vexed by physical threats. Although one might expect a gruff man as a result, Rivian is considered quite jolly in normal duty, almost to the extent that some consider him oblivious to the peril which surrounds him until he is in imminent danger. Cursory evaluation of his surprisingly regularly maintained reports dictate that this assumption is not far off.
== Interpersonal Relations ==
Opinions on Lemen vary across his employees. Though at the time of this report, one may surmise that he's not exactly a popular man onboard, though by no means as disliked as his CO, Lord Eberstark. To many, he is another cog in the machine, and rightfully so-- he is the textbook low-gothic, un-educated guardsman, on paper. However he has acquired 4 "friends," according to his reports, which he, much to his COs' ire, treats like a diary. Only first names are dictated in his journals. A crew manifest cross-examination will be filed within due time.
* "Eliza," or teasingly referred to as "Kommisah Kink" due to her "kinky" nicknaming of fellow guards, is often spoken of negatively in his logs. Most of this negativity is rooted from his annoyance with his perceived idea of "Eliza's" sexual relations with two other guardsmen on board. He commonly mocks her for being Archangel's "Numba wawn sorse awv whoitshieldz." However, it appears Rivian still tries his best to aid her if she is put out of action-- whether Rivian is just a good guy or a man who thinks he needs more meatshields still remains to be seen.
* "Jakey," is noted as mostly apathetic to both Rivian's existence and that of everyone else on the station. Rivian creates disturbingly large rants on how he is "e' focken lho-addict pawt'ead 'oh jus' focken smokes in e' focken chimere whoil 'ol riv gets 'izz ass shawt awf" in his reports. Despite this, it would seem it is he whom he has the greatest opinion of on board, if only because he doesn't fuck with him back. Manifests would suggest this is most likely "Jake Marshall." Elisa has nicknamed him "Spankboy," much to Rivian's ire. "Jakey" is reportedly trying to curb his addiction to lho.
* "Silly-Bananas," "Silly-Banana-Kins," or rarely "Sil" is another guard whom he has mixed feelings about. Though we can't exactly... understand... who he's referencing... Regardless, Rivian seems to believe it is he who has the most erm... frequent relations with guardswomen Elisa... though for the record, it remains to be seen that Archangel has produced any whiteshields in its entire history. He comments that "'iss focken name iz REALLAY 'ard tuh prenounse" and that "sumtoims oi 'on't know whether t 'ug him, slap 'im, or focken run frum 'im." He is also referred to as "Grabass" by Elisa, according to Rivian.
* Hans Eberstark. These range from the occasional praising of his much... admired... "valor" in combat to the much, much, much more frequent paragraph of expletives in unintelligble low gothic. Any further information is unknown. Rivian insists that he, "would ratha focken be tied t' a chair alone wiz'a cultist 'en be near m'lord Ebastahk!"
* "Raf," is a chemist in Rivian's logs. Rivian's frequent demotions to medical staff have garnered him exclusive time with this mystery chemist. He frequently commends him as "e best focken goi in e' 'ole medbah!"
* "Matty" is a man who fed him donk pockets to save him from death. He knows nothing else about him.
* "Commisah Yuray" has been reportedly "aware" of his fondness for insulated gloves. He writes that he sometimes cries inside after talking to him, due to his frequent insulting of Lazarus XII and his intelligence and maturity.
== Recorded Comments ==
=== Positive Traits ===
* Adept at hacking, much to the ire of the garrisoned mechanicus. He frequently hacks doors to either apprehend heretics... or go where he's not supposed to.
* Adept at medical, due to this being his preferred patrol area. He has an aptitude for cloning, if only for the purpose of keeping only the people he "cares" about alive.
* Adept at stealth, as discovered in his journals, he frequently breaks in and out of the Captain's quarters for Eberstark's spare ID and the armory for the RPG without being caught.
* Incredibly skilled at escape artistry. He is by far the most slippery scrub on the station, provided he has the right supplies. He notes that "oive sweetalked e' lawt awv 'em 'eretics inta lettin' 'ol riv live. *british chuckling*. Fockin' Riv's gawt chahrm."
* High morale. Rivian has seen a lot, and apparently just doesn't give a shit. We suspect this is a high echelon of stupidity.
* Able to survive around Orks. We believe his voice garners him protection from Orkish brutality. He has even noted that he lived among Orks, for a brief time, by brutalizing his fellow Imperial prisoners while captive in an Ork camp in order to demonstrate his "inaah ork" to his captors. This is astoundingly effective. He recalls being named an honorary Nob, before his rescue.
=== Negative Traits ===
* Despite his hacking skills, all other fields regarding research and development and engineering only lead him to breaking things and causing catastrophic explosions.
* He has no idea how any sort of viral or bacterial infection works, as such, his hygiene leaves much to be desired and he spreads many sicknesses among his coworkers.
* Again, with his hacking skills, he gets into more trouble than he's worth...
* He's slow to jump on heretics, often giving obvious heretics the benefit of a doubt.
* He has absolutely no combat ability. This is why he runs so well.
* He is a coward, and leaves his comrades to die without flinching. Security cameras have shown him dropping wounded to chasing Khornates to buy him time to escape. He also frequently hides in lockers and welds the escape pods shut. It is due to this very cowardice that he is demoted to civilian medical positions occasionally instead of guard duty.
* He is incredibly insubordinate-- the only way he's lived so long is by evading his commissar with his hacking abilities.
* He is astoundingly immature. He has gotten Elisa and himself whippings, pushups, and death threats as a result of his constant idiotic teasing.
* His fucking cackling over vox.
* His situational awareness is lackluster, or perhaps he is simply apathetic to his non-immediate threats. He goes on about an in progress Ork invasion as if nothing were wrong.
* He sounds like an Ork-- that's why they like him.
== Current Status==
Rivian Lemen is stationed at the Ordo Xenos outpost aboard Archangel IV as an Imperial Guardsman.  He is frequently repremanded for his cowardice and sent to work in the medical wing every so often, to which his only objection is, "oi focken miss m' lasgawn."  He is one of the most well documented non-priority personell on site at Archangel IV.  This is due to his copious "reports" written as if they were journals.
As a guardsman, he frequently volenteers for transfers into the medical wing.  He has a quaint interest in cloning, though through a reading of his logs it's not that hard to attribute this to a wanting of more people to act as meatshields for him.  Cloning chamber records seem to dictate that he prioritizes the cloning of his "friends" first.  He has never, on record, volentarily cloned General Eberstark.
He also fancies engineering as a shift location, because, as one would expect, "oi cen get m' gloves 'ere no prawblem."  This lust for insulated gloves often makes him run straight for tool storage upon the start of the shift, much to the ire of Commisar "Yuray."
Despite his... delayed... methods of detecting heresy, he is considered to be one of the most Emperor loyal persons on the station, though in his narcisissm, he assures himself, "e' emprah 'izz betta off wiz 'ol riv t' be 'e onlay wawn eloive n' anay a' 'ese scrubs."  This leads to his cowardice and insubordinate behavior.
As mentioned above, his antagonist tendencies towards guardswoman Elisa have earned him much distaste among his CO's and other workers aboard the station who have to listen to their back and forth banter, as well as his incessant cackling.  Coupling this with his nigh unintelligbly low gothic accent, and he is the most hated man on station in regards to those forced to communicate with him-- of their own accord or not.
Category:Characters
Category:Imperial Guard
Category:Orks