Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1/Transcript

Carol Ferris: (on com) Bruce. You're pushing the car too hard. It's not meant to take it.
Bruce Wayne: I'll coax it.
Carol Ferris: (on com) That's it, I'm engaging computer override.
Bruce Wayne: Don't think it's working.
Carol Ferris: (on com) You son of a bitch, are you trying to kill yourself?
Bruce Wayne: Hmm.
Anchor Bill: (on TV) Spectacular finish to the Neumann elimination. Looked like a flaming coffin for billionaire Bruce Wayne for sure. Turns out Wayne bailed at the last second, suffering only minor burns.
Anchor Tom: (on TV) Hideous slaying of a group of nuns last night, the latest in the brutal crime spree attributed to the Mutant gang.
Jeff Adams: (on TV) Crime is at a record high, the city has gone to hell, and no one seems to be doing anything about it.
Lola Chang: (on TV) Death threats have once again been leveled by the Mutants… against soon-to-retire, 70-year-old commissioner James Gordon who had this to say in response:
Commissioner Gordon: (on TV) I've got one more month at this job, and I'd love to spend it nailing the Mutants. If they want to take me on, I'm delighted. Come and get me.
Lola Chang: (on TV) Nearly coinciding with Gordon's retirement, tonight also marks the 10th anniversary of the last sighting of the Batman. Most of our younger viewers now think of him as a myth. Many others still debate whether his one-man war on crime was right or wrong, but this reporter hopes that wherever he is, he's enjoying a toast with good friends.
Commissioner Gordon: To 10 years and my finally joining you. That was some stunt you pulled at the racetrack.
Bruce Wayne: Keeps the blood flowing.
Commissioner Gordon: So long as most of it stays inside you.
Bruce Wayne: Worried about me?
Commissioner Gordon: Let's just say I'm glad you survived Batman's retirement, and I was hoping you'd keep it that way.
Lola Chang: (on TV) Some officials have speculated that Gordon's departure… may help de-escalate violence from the Mutants, as the mysterious Mutant Leader has repeatedly singled out the commissioner as a target.
Commissioner Gordon: You're not worried about me, are you?
Bruce Wayne: No more than I am the rest of the city. People have given up, Jim. They're hiding, turning a blind eye.
Commissioner Gordon: These are scary times. And the Mutants, they're not like the usual street crooks. A mugger, he's after a wallet. It makes sense. These kids, it's just random violence. There's no humanity in them at all.
Bruce Wayne: Sounds like someone l used to deal with.
Commissioner Gordon: Thank God he's keeping quiet. Remember how you had us all going back then? You with that ginger ale of yours, pretending it was champagne. Made up for lost time on that since.
Bruce Wayne: Makes it easier.
Commissioner Gordon: Makes what easier?
Bruce Wayne: Staying retired.
Commissioner Gordon: Things are different now, Bruce. The government, the public, they wouldn't stand for you anymore. Talk to Dick lately?
Bruce Wayne: You know l haven't.
Commissioner Gordon: Shame you didn't keep up with him. Could've been a shoulder to lean on, after what happened with Jason.
Bruce Wayne: Let's call it a night, Jim.
Day of Judgement Believer: The day of judgment is coming, brother!
Mutant: Aces. He sees us.
Mutant 2: Don't go all billy. Go around, behind him. Slice and dice. Show him we nasty.
Mutant: I don't know man, spud's awful big. And look at him.
Bruce Wayne: Come on.
Mutant: Jeez, man, spud's into it.
Mutant 2: So, what? Slice and dice.
Bruce Wayne: Come on.
Mutant: No. Can't do it when they into it. Blow this, let's go to the arcade.
Thomas Wayne: Wow, look at him go.
Martha Wayne: What are you gonna do when you catch him, Bruce?
Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce. You set off the alarm, sir. This somnambulism is becoming a problem, especially for those of us with a penchant for sleeping at night. Sir?
Bruce Wayne: Just remembering a promise, Alfred.
Alfred Pennyworth: Which was?
Bruce Wayne: Never again. Sorry I woke you.
Alfred Pennyworth: When did you shave?
Weatherman: (on TV) Still feeling this record heat wave in Gotham, temperatures reaching into the upper 90s, friends. But rains should come in soon and cut all this heat.
Patient: Hah!
Orderly: Think he cares about the weather?
Arkham Home Doctor: I don't think this one's cared about anything for a long time.
Orderly: Guess crazy has its moments. Guy doesn't even sweat. Look at him.
Arkham Home Doctor: You look at him. He makes me sick.
Dr. Wolper: Don't be nervous, Harvey. Doctor Willing and l have done outstanding work on you, inside and out.
Dr. Willing: Doctor Wolper, I have to agree.
Dr. Wolper: Psychologically, I'm confident you're ready to face the world and say, "Hey, l'm okay."
Dr. Willing: And you look great too. Harvey Dent, meet Harvey Dent.
Dr. Wolper: Ah. Looks like the patient needs a little convincing. Been a long time since both sides matched.
Dr. Willing: It's some of my finest work ever, Harvey.
Harvey Dent: Both sides match.
Dr. Wolper: You look completely normal.
Harvey Dent: I don't know what to say.
Dr. Wolper: Say thank you.
Harvey Dent: (on TV) I can't express enough gratitude to my plastic surgeon, Dr. Herbert Willing and my psychiatrist, Dr. Bartholomew Wolper. I don't expect the people of Gotham City to forgive my crimes overnight. I only ask that they give me a second chance.
Reporter 1: (on TV) Harvey. How do you feel?
Reporter 2: (on TV) Why should we think this time is different?
Reporter 3: (on TV) Are you nervous about starting over?
Reporter 4: (on TV) ls Two-Face gone for good?
Lola Chang: (on TV) Those were Harvey Dent's last words before he disappeared. The one-time district attorney, later known as Two-Face immediately evaded supervision upon his release earlier today from the Arkham Home.
Anchor Bill: (on TV) Husband and wife found murdered in their sleep this morning.
Anchorwoman Carla: (on TV) Wayne, who sponsored Dent's rehabilitation, had this to say just days before Dent's release:
Bruce Wayne: (on TV) As a city, we have to give Harvey every chance to return to society. We must believe we can all defeat our own private demons.
Lola Chang: (on TV) After today's developments, Wayne was unavailable for comment.
Anchor Ted: (on TV) Murder rates on the city's subways have reached an all-time high.
Lola Chang: (on TV) Kidnapping and murdering young children, a line even the Mutants hadn't crossed until now. Despite the family paying the ransom, the Mutants still took the boy's life. This marks a chilling escalation… from a group many are already calling the worst criminals Gotham City… has seen since the Joker.
Narrator: (on TV; voiceover) Tonight's presentation of Tyrone Power in The Mark of Zorro…
Young Bruce: Take that. Yah!
Anchorwoman Carla: (on TV) ….can only assume Two-Face will return to his criminal ways.
Anchor Ted: (on TV) Four killed in a senseless attack…
Anchor Bill: (on TV) …the assault and mutilation and terror that poor little boy must have felt.
Weatherman: (on TV) Storm coming in, like the wrath of God about to hit Gotham.
Batman: (voiceover) You try to hold me back, but you're weak. You know it in your soul. You're nothing but a hollow shell. A rusty trap. The time has come.
Mutant: Come in here where it's warm, Mommy.
Woman: No. Please. (whimpers)
Mutant: I need you, Mommy. Talk soft and make me feel safe.
Silk: Get your ass in the car. We're taking a ride.
Joannie: Please, Silk. Not the face. (sobs)
Silk: You're paining me, Joannie. You're messing with my livelihood.
Cab Driver: Hey, man, take it somewhere else. I just had the seats cleaned.
Silk: (hands the driver money) Shut your hairy face and drive.
Cab Driver: Dog-eat-dog world, l guess.
Joannie: Aah!
Silk: Look, Joannie, you went and grew a new nostril.
Cab Driver: What the hell was that?
Silk: Something's on the roof. Someone thinks they're gonna mess with me?
Cab Driver: Oh, man, oh, man. Start already.
Carrie Kelly: Great. Figure I wanna get all soaked. Come on, we'll cut through here.
Michelle: I don't know. I heard the Mutants hang here.
Carrie Kelly: A little backbone, Michelle? Better in here than out there. At least the lights are bright.
Michelle: Carrie?
Carrie Kelly: Don't go all billy. They'll come back on in a sec.
Mutant: (offscreen) Chick, chick, chick. 
Mutant: Chicken legs, licking legs. Slice and dice.
Michelle: Oh, my God, Carrie. Aah!
Mutant 2: I got the little one. 
Mutant: Slice and dice them.
Mutant 3: What? What happened?
Mutant: My arm. Something's stuck in my arm.
Mutant 3: I got my nine. Anything moves, I'll--
Mutant 2: Where'd you go?
Dispatcher: (over radio) Repeat, all units, robbery in progress, Gotham City Trust.
Rookie Officer: You see that other car? Just went the other way.
Senior Officer: Forget it. We're gonna lose this one as it is. Damn, that sucker can move.
Rookie Officer: What the hell is that?
Senior Officer: Can't exactly look right now, kid.
Rookie Officer: Up there. Freaking weird.
Senior Officer: You gonna tell me or-- Holy....
Rookie Officer: You're slowing down?
Senior Officer: Yeah. We're in for a show, kid.
Mackie: That was the Batman.
Rookie Officer: I never thought he was real. Look.
Batman: These men are mine.
Senior Officer: You heard the man.
Rookie Officer: You crazy? I'm going in.
Senior Officer: You don't wanna do that. Kid.
Mackie: Batman would have to be old.
Femur: Turk said he killed Batman.
Mackie: Yeah, well, Turk says a lot of things.
Hired Goon: This floor don't feel safe.
Mackie: Live dangerously. And shut up. There. This is freaky, he never made noise before.
Femur: Watch it. You're gonna hit--
Hired Goon: Mackie? Yeah, l think l did. But l still don't see-- Uhn!
Rookie Officer: Everybody freeze. You're under arrest, mister. You just crippled that man.
Batman: He's young, he'll walk again. (to Femur) But you'll stay scared, won't you, punk?
Rookie Officer: I mean it. Get away from him.
Senior Officer: He's being patient with you as it is, kid. (to Batman) Nice to have you back, Bats. (to the rookie) Go to their car, kid. Get the loot.
Femur: The pain. I can't stand it.
Rookie Officer: I don't believe this.
Batman: It's not in their car. Was there a second car at the bank?
Senior Officer: Yeah, an old jalopy. Didn't think--
Batman: You weren't supposed to.
Senior Officer: You know, I saw you once before. Years ago, I was a rookie like schmuck-face there and--
Batman: Tell Gordon we have to talk.
Senior Officer: Sure thing, Bats. But how's he supposed to get in touch with you...? Oh, yeah. Now l remember.
Anchor Bill: (on TV) Reports are streaming in this morning of sightings of a bat-like creature… throughout the city last night. You don't suppose--?
Anchor Ted: (on TV) A group of cat burglars, seriously injured--
Man: (on TV) A wild animal that snarled and growled. A werewolf for sure.
Michelle: (on TV) It was a flying monster with wings and fangs.
Carrie Kelly: (on TV) Reality check, Michelle. lt was definitely a man. But he had to be, like, 12 feet tall.
Lola Chang: (on TV) Two abducted children were found alive in a riverside warehouse, along with six critically injured members of the Mutant gang. The children describe the gang's attacker as "A man dressed as Dracula."
Mutant Leader: (on TV) We will kill the old man Gordon. We will chop him. We will grind him. We will bathe in his blood. I myself will kill the fool, Batman. I will rip the meat from his bones and suck them dry. Don't call us a gang. Don't call us criminals. We are the law. Gotham City belongs to the Mutants.
Lawyer: My client has yet to be charged with anything. And for good reason.
Commissioner Gordon: Where'd l put that stuff?
Lawyer: Your men found no stolen money, you've got no witnesses connecting him to the robbery, and to say he suffered brutality is an understatement. Batman shattered his femur.
Commissioner Gordon: Like it's got a mind of its own. There it is.
Lawyer: I insist you drop this entire matter immediately. My client's the victim here.
Commissioner Gordon: Done. Merkel, draw up release papers for Victim here.
Merkel: Sir?
Lawyer: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now wait a second. My client also has to be ensured of protection.
Commissioner Gordon: You heard me, Merkel. Gum?
Alfred Pennyworth: If it's suicide you're after, I have an old family recipe. It's slow and painful. You'd like it.
[The phone rings and the butler answers it.]
Alfred Pennyworth: (on phone) Wayne infirmary. One moment, (to Bruce) it's Commissioner Gordon. No doubt calling for details on the funeral.
Bruce Wayne: (on phone) Yes, commissioner. You're releasing him right now? Interesting.
Alfred Pennyworth: I'm still the prime beneficiary in your will, aren't I?
Femur: Face? Anyone here?
Batman: Two-Face has already moved on. He was smart enough to know I'd track him. You weren't. So now you're going to tell me what he's up to.
Femur: Stay away from me. l got rights.
Batman: Sure, you've got rights. Plenty of them. You're also bleeding to death. And right now, I'm the only one in the world who can get you to a hospital in time. So how quickly you decide to talk is up to you.
Merkel: Commissioner, something you have to see.
Commissioner Gordon: Follow me.
Merkel: He set it back up? Isn't there any other way to contact him?
Commissioner Gordon: At least a dozen.
Merkel: Then why?
Commissioner Gordon: So everyone knows. Hit it.
Mr. Kelly: The guy's a fascist. No regard for civil rights.
Mrs. Kelly: I know, and people eat it up. It's like all that marching we did never happened.
Mr. Kelly: Don't say that. We made a difference. Give me another hit of that, will you? You made sure the doors are locked, right?
Commissioner Gordon: Two helicopters stolen last night. One a state-of-the-art attack chopper, the other an old army surplus job. Got to be Two-Face.
Batman: His Lackey didn't know much. Just that whatever Dent's planning, it goes down tomorrow night.
Commissioner Gordon: Sure. It's Tuesday and the second of the month.
Batman: And that Two-Face said it would be twice as big as anyone can imagine. He's also re-wrapped his face in bandages. Not letting anyone see him.
Commissioner Gordon: Why? What did he do to himself? You don't suppose he...?
Batman: Maybe. He's scratching both sides now. As if he's become consumed by his dark side. I wouldn't rule out that he's hurting himself. It must have been impossible to resist the compulsion.
Commissioner Gordon: We still talking about Dent? You know you can't just bring in Harvey and be done with it. It's bigger than that now. You've already ruffled--
Batman: The Mutants. They're next on my list. But first things first. A target that needs two helicopters that's twice as big as anyone can....
Commissioner Gordon: The Gotham Life Building.
Dr. Wolper: (on TV) Merv, I'm absolutely convinced of Harvey's Dent's innocence. But that's not to say he hasn't returned to crime. I know that sounds confusing to the layman, so let me explain. You see, it all comes down to this Batman fellow. His psycho-erotic behavior is like a net trapping weak-minded neurotics like Harvey, drawing them into corresponding, intersecting patterns. You could say Batman creates his own enemies, committing the crimes using his so-called villains as narcissistic proxies. In other words, the real villain here is Batman.
Man 1: Look out. Look out!
Man 2: Oh, my--
Lola Chang: (on TV) Report just coming in of an explosion at the Gotham Life Building.
Harvey Dent: (on TV) People of Gotham. This is Harvey Dent. Sorry to interrupt your television-viewing pleasure. Right now, I'm sitting atop the beautiful Gotham Life Building with two bombs big enough to make both towers rubble. You have 22 minutes to save them. And my price is $22 million.
Thug: What's happening?
Batman: Your favorite nightmare. Should last about an hour. How do l stop it?
Thug: Stop it? lt shouldn't be going.
Batman: Two-Face lied to you. He said we'd get the money and run. The bombs are just for show. He wants to die. And take thousands with him.
Thug: Can you stop it?
Batman: I'm not sure. Cross your fingers.
Batman: Show me. What did you do?
Harvey Dent: No. I played along as long as I could. While you and the docs had your joke. You got everyone to smile and keep their lunches down when they looked at me. Pretending I looked normal.
Batman: You think--?
Harvey Dent: Cut it out. Just look at me and have your laugh. Get it over with. At least both sides match now, right? Look at me and have your laugh. Who are we kidding? They couldn't fix me. Nothing can change what l am.
Batman: You and me both.
Lana Lang: (on TV) I think it's a mistake to look at Batman's return in purely physical terms. I think it's a symbolic resurgence of the common man's will to resist. A rebirth of the American soul.
Morrie: (on TV) Okay, easy on the rhetoric, Lana. The only thing Batman signifies is an aberrant psychotic force. The man's a danger to every citizen.
Lana Lang: (on TV) Hardly as dangerous as the criminals, is he?
Morrie: (on TV) Batman knows exactly what he's doing. His kind of fascist always does.
Point vs Point Host: (on TV) Sorry, Morrie and Lana, we're out of time. But l'm sure this debate is far from over.
Mr. Hudson: Commissioner.
Commissioner Gordon: Mr. Hudson.
Mr. Hudson: Sure, you should be out so late? Not safe, even for our top cop.
Commissioner Gordon: Wife forgot bean sprouts.
Mr. Hudson: Sounds like she's got you eating right. Gotta watch the red meat, you know.
Commissioner Gordon: Everyone's a doctor.
Mr. Hudson: You have a good night.
Lola Chang: (on TV) A parents group called the Council of Mothers filed a petition with the mayor's office today as did the Victims' Rights Task Force both calling for renewed sanctions against the Batman. The mayor spoke to reporters this afternoon.
Mayor: (on TV) We're still in consultation on this. Still in consultation.
Lola Chang: (on TV) Incidents of violence against criminals continue to rise in Gotham. Which of these acts are the work of Batman… and which are by others he's inspired, is impossible to tell.
African American Citizen: (on TV) Batman? I think he's A-okay. He's kicking all the right butts. Beating the heads that need beating. Know what l mean? I'd like to see him show up for my landlord next.
Citizen: (on TV) It makes me sick to see such a violation of people's rights. We have to strive to reintegrate the disenfranchised into society, not revel in their punishment. We have to show patience. Excuse me? No, I'd never live in the city.
Lola Chang: (on TV) One moment, I've just been handed this. "Commissioner James Gordon has been shot and killed." Wait, I'm sorry. I read that wrong. "Commissioner Gordon has shot and killed a 17-year-old-mutant." Gordon was attacked not far from his west-end apartment.
Mr. Kelly: What a downer. Seventeen years old.
Mrs. Kelly: Macho cops. Just like Chicago. Remember Chicago?
Mr. Kelly: Not really. I was tripping the whole time.
Robin: Whoa. Instant pizza.
Robin: Some Robin.
Lola Chang: (on TV) Gordon is set to retire later this week while the mayor has yet to announce his replacement.
Mayor: (on TV) I'm still polling opinions. Still polling opinions.
Lola Chang: (on TV) In entertainment news, Galaxy Broadcasting president James Olsen assured viewers that the television writers' strike, now in its fourth year will not affect programming. 
Anchor Tom: (on TV) I'm sorry, Lola. This just in. A spokesman for the Ridley Chewing Gum family has revealed that the Mutants… have kidnapped Kevin Ridley, the 2-year-old heir to the Ridley fortune.
Mutant Kidnapper: (on phone) You ever wanna hear him again? Do like we said. You got one hour. (hangs up)
Female Mutant: Oh, man. The kid messed himself.
Mutant Kidnapper: Hold your breath. Once we get the ransom, we flush the whole kid.
Spot: Get it off me. Get it off me.
Mutant Kidnapper: Chill, Spot. It's just a bat. Get out of the way. Should have got out of the way, Spot.
Female Mutant: Back off or I'll kill him. Believe me man, l'll do it.
Batman: I believe you.
Robin: Didn't suck.
Batman: (offscreen) Do you know who I am, punk?
Mutant Kidnapper: (offscreen) Where am l? I can't see.
Batman: (offscreen) I'm your worst nightmare. The kind that makes you wake up screaming for your mother.
Mutant Kidnapper: (offscreen) I think I'm bleeding. What's on my face?
Batman: (offscreen) Quite an arsenal you had in that apartment. Combat weapons. You're going to tell me where you got them.
Mutant Kidnapper: (offscreen) Solid, man, I'll tell you. But no cops, and l walk. Deal?
Batman: (offscreen) You're in no position to negotiate. Let me show you.
Girlfriend: For the record, no, that place wasn't worth coming to this neighborhood.
Boyfriend: Don't worry, it's easy to get a cab on the next block.
Girlfriend: If we make it to the next block.
Boyfriend: Will you chill out? They can smell the fear on you, you know.
Robin: Eyes slideways. Hoo! Haah! Look out.
Mugger: What the hell? I'm trying to make an honest living here. Stay out of my business.
Robin: You're welcome.
General Briggs: So many years of service. My men, my country, that's all I cared about.
Batman: You've been selling weapons to the Mutants.
General Briggs: My wife… she's dying. And after all those years, they wouldn't pay for the treatment.
Batman: You sent them enough firepower to stage a small war. If it's a war they want, I've got just the thing. Nice way to end your career, general.
Mutant Driver: Leader says everyone, so get in.
Mutant 1: Sure. Figure we got plenty time for speeches.
Mutant Driver: Not talking speeches, man. Talking war. The dump, in one hour. So get in.
Mutant 1: Okay, okay.
Robin: The dump.
Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce?
Batman: Who else?
Alfred Pennyworth: Of course, but the signal is coming from--
Batman: Been a while since I've taken her out. Still purrs. Like it was yesterday.
Mutant Leader:  They call us a gang. They think we just noisy kids. Only when they die by our hands will they know… Gotham City belongs to the Mutants! (the Mutants cheer) Take the guns. Take the bombs. Storm police headquarters and kill, and kill. Bring me the head of the old man Gordon. I will carry it through the streets. And the Batman, who thinks he can mess with us. I will tear him limb from limb.
Batman: (on speaker) Mutants. Surrender now or be destroyed.
Batman: They don't even wait for an order. Kids today. No respect.
Mutant Leader: (growls) Rubber bullets.
Mutant Leader: All this metal, and you don't even use it to kill? It's just a shell to keep you safe? What's the matter? Ain't you got the stomach for it? I call you coward. Come out here and face me like a man. I kill you. I eat your heart. Prove you can take me. Prove you can fight with your hands. Come on, man. You boring me.
Alfred Pennyworth: Sir, you can't seriously be....
Batman: Mm-hm.
Alfred Pennyworth: He's in his prime. He'll kill you.
Batman: It's the only way I'll know.
Robin: Yeah, get him.
Mutant Leader: Ha! You slow, spud.
Robin: No.
Mutant Leader: (chuckles) That it? You getting tired, old man?
Batman: Shut up.
Robin: Don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead. Good, you're alive. Now, wake up. Come on.
Alfred Pennyworth: Good girl. Thank you. Now, run along home.
[?]
Alfred Pennyworth: Please, dear. You're in the way of the sensors.
Carrie Kelly: Uhn! Watch it. You're bouncing around too much.
Batman: It's all right. Stretcher's gyro stabilized.
Robin: Cool. What is this thing?
Batman: Dick called it the Batmobile.
Alfred Pennyworth: Sir.
Batman: Something a kid would say.
Robin: I like it. Now, hold your breath.
Batman: Where'd you learn to do that? What's your name?
Robin: Carrie. Carrie Kelley. Robin.
Batman: Mine's Bruce.
Alfred Pennyworth: Sir, you are delirious. You should stay quiet from now on. We're moments from the hospital.
Batman: No Alfred, no hospital. The cave.
Alfred Pennyworth: But sir--
Batman: The cave. And Robin comes with us.
Alfred Pennyworth: Hands to yourself, please.
Carrie Kelly: Where did he go?
Alfred Pennyworth: To find his strength.
Bruce Wayne: Where are you?
[?]
Bruce Wayne: I'm not finished yet. And you're not finished with me. You're never finished with me.
Citizen 2: (on TV) He is a monster, striking at the foundations of democracy. Where are the principles that make this the noblest country in the world?
Citizen 3: (on TV) Frankly, I'm surprised there aren't more like him. People are sick of being afraid. He's taking back what's ours.
Anchor Ted: (on TV) Those are but a few of the reactions to the return of the Batman. Tonight, we'll examine his impact on our society. From Metropolis, managing editor of The Daily Planet, Lana Lang. And from Gotham City, popular psychologist, and author of the best-seller, Hey, I'm Okay, Dr. Bartholomew Wolper. Dr. Wolper, you've claimed the Batman is responsible for inciting the crimes he fights. Yet, crime in Gotham has dropped steadily since his return. Explain.
Dr. Wolper: (on TV) I'm glad you asked that, Ted. Picture the public psyche as a vast, moist, membrane. Batman has struck this membrane a vicious blow, and it has recoiled. Hence the misleading short-term statistics. But in the long term, a whole generation of young people will be bent to the matrix of Batman's pathological self-delusion. In this context, Batman could be considered a social disease.
Lana Lang: (on TV) That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard!
Anchor Ted: (on TV) Miss Lang, you've been perhaps the Batman's most vocal supporter. How can you condone behavior that's so blatantly illegal? What about due process? What about civil rights?
Lana Lang: (on TV) Ted, we live in the shadow of crime. Resigned to be the victims of fear, of violence, of social impotence. A man has risen to remind us that the power is, and always has been, in our hands. For years, we've been under siege. This one man is showing us that we can take a stand.
Lola Chang: (on TV) A total of 83 members of the Mutant gang have been arrested, most suffering from bullet and shrapnel wounds. Among those captured, is one they're calling the Mutant Leader.
Mutant Leader: (on TV) Batman is a coward. l broke his bones. Now, my Mutant army is coming to storm Gotham City.
Mutant: (on TV) We will come for our leader. We will kill Gordon. We will raze Gotham and taste its blood. Prepare for war.
Mayor: (on TV) This whole mutant situation is the result of Commissioner Gordon's incompetence and the Batman's terrorist actions. To address these matters, Deputy Mayor Stevenson and l are proud to announce the appointment of Captain Ellen Yindel as Gordon's replacement upon his retirement. Captain Yindel stands firmly against the Batman… and upon taking office, will aggressively pursue his capture. Furthermore, right after this conference, I intend to personally sit down with the Mutant leader to negotiate a settlement.
Anchor Ted: What do you think, Trish? Has the mayor gone nuts?
Anchor Trish: Not at all, Ted. l expect the mayor's credibility rating to go through the roof, especially if he's successful in the Mutant negotiations. Between this, his strong stand on Batman, and his choosing a woman as the next police commissioner, I think we're seeing whole new mayor. Public-perception-wise, that is.
Commissioner Gordon: You sure you wanna go through with this?
Mayor: Ahem. l, um--
Commissioner Gordon: At least, you don't have to do it alone. l could be in there with you.
Mayor: No, I have to resolve this. That's what the polls say.
Mutant Leader: How you doing, Mr. Mayor?
Anchor: (on TV) The Mayor is dead. The Mutant Leader has been returned to his cell. A frightened silence has fallen over the city, as Gotham braces itself for attack. Deputy Mayor-- Excuse me. Mayor Stevenson had this to say.
Stevenson: (on TV) If there are any members of the Mutant g– Organization listening, l urge you, the city is still willing to negotiate.
Alfred Pennyworth: You've been through a lot. Your head wasn't clear at the time.
Bruce Wayne: I knew exactly what l was doing.
Alfred Pennyworth: Bringing the girl here.
Bruce Wayne: She's perfect. Smart, brave. With her help, I can end the Mutant problem once and for all. It all comes down to their leader. They worship him.
Alfred Pennyworth: Perhaps your judgment was impaired.
Bruce Wayne: I tried to match his savagery last time. That was my mistake. l have to be smarter.
Alfred Pennyworth: Very well, sir, I shall cut right to it. Have you forgotten what happened with Jason?
Bruce Wayne: I'll never forget what happened to Jason. He was a good soldier. He honored me. But the war goes on. Robin. Your training begins tomorrow. It'll take weeks to prepare you properly. But l have a job for you, tonight. Alter my plan in any way, stray from my instructions at all and you're fired.
Rob: Batman, he nasty. Tossed spike right through that sign.
Don: Yeah, l figure that real cool, Rob. Leader pegged Batman.
Rob: Leader say that, but Leader in a cell, Don.
Don: Leader don't ship out no cell.
Rob: Eyes slideways.
Don: Oh, chicken legs. In colors.
Rob: Chicken legs. Licken chegs.
Don: Chegs kind of my nasty, Rob.
Rob: Chegs billy. Chegs pre-school Mutant.
Carrie Kelly: (in disguise) Leader take your face for touching me, spud.
Rob: Yeah, right. You Leader's squeeze, I figure.
Carrie Kelly: (in disguise) Yeah? You really mutants, I figure.
Rob: We mutants. We slicer-dicers.
Carrie Kelly: (in disguise) Sure you are. That's why you at the pipe. Whatever. l don't shiv.
Don: (chuckles) She don't shiv.
Rob: What pipe? What you billy about?
Carrie Kelly: (in disguise) Ears only, spud. As in members.
Rob: We Mutants. What pipe?
Carrie Kelly: (in disguise) The pipe. West River and 40. Attendance. As in mandatory.
Rob: Yeah, sure, l knew about the pipe.
Carrie Kelly: (in disguise) Sure you did. Didn't hear it from me, spud.
Don: Heh. Real cool, Rob.
Rob: Shut up and come on.
Commissioner Gordon: l don't care if his mother's pregnant. We need every hand on deck. Now.
[Just then, Yindel enters his office.]
Commissioner Gordon: What can l do for you?
Ellen Yindel: I'm reporting for duty.
Commissioner Gordon: You're a few days early, captain.
Ellen Yindel: Any duty, sir.
Commissioner Gordon: Sorry. Not much left to do but wait. But you're welcome to wait here. I've read your record, Yindel. You're a good cop.
Ellen Yindel: Thank you, sir. Truth is, you've been a hero of mine since l was a kid. The only thing I don't understand is how far apart we are on Batman.
Commissioner Gordon: Then let's not talk about Batman.
Mutant: Of course we heard about the pipe.
Carrie Kelly: (in disguise) Of course you did. Whatever.
Ellen Yindel: I don't understand how you can support a vigilante. Our job is to uphold the law.
Commissioner Gordon: No thanks. Wife made me quit the cigars. I'm sure you've heard old fossils like me talk about Pearl Harbor? Mostly, we all lie. Make it sound like we leapt to our feet and went after the Axis the second it happened. Truth is, we were scared stiff. Rumors were flying, we barely had an army. Hell, we were hiding in our beds with our heads under the sheets. And then we heard President Roosevelt on the radio. That voice, strong and sure… taking our fear and turning it into a fighting spirit. He's why we won that war.
Mutant 1: You ain't heard about the pipe? Leader says everyone.
Mutant 2: We heard, we heard. We're on our way.
Commissioner Gordon: Years later, this report came out that Roosevelt might have known Pearl Harbor was coming and let it happen. That rattled around in my head for days. How horrible it would be if it were true. Then again, it's what got us into the war. A lot of men died. But in the end it saved millions. I bounced back and forth like that… until I realized… it was too big for me to judge. He was too big.
Ellen Yindel: I still don't see what that has to do with Batman.
Commissioner Gordon: Maybe one day, you will.
Merkel: Commissioner, you better see this.
Carrie Kelly: Where to?
Batman: Take the cycle back to the cave. You're done for tonight.
Carrie Kelly: How do you know it worked?
Commissioner Gordon: There must be thousands of them. Why? Why there?
Batman: Because l want them there.
Commissioner Gordon: It'll take an army to surround them. I could call in the National Guard.
Batman: No. You can't arrest and hold them all. The only way to finish this is to defeat them. Humiliate them. I'm counting on you, Jim. One last time.
Mutant Leader: You got kids, Officer Thompson, badge 5861?
Officer Thompson: Shut up.
Mutant Leader: Just asking. I love kids. How about a wife? You got a sweet little wife all alone at home, 5861?
Officer Thompson: I said shut up.
Commissioner Gordon: Thompson. Go get some air.
Officer Thompson: With pleasure.
Mutant Leader: Come down to say hello, old man?
Commissioner Gordon: No. I came to say goodbye.
Mutant Leader: Batman! Show yourself! Face me, fool, and I will kill you! I will show you who rules Gotham City!
Batman: Okay, son. Show me.
Mutant Leader: You're weak, old man. You're slow.
Batman: True, but we're all slow when we're thigh high deep in mud. And you're not too bright.
Mutant Leader: What was that?
Batman: Just the right kind of cut above the eyes. The kind that bleeds.
Rob: Ah. You see, Don? Batman nasty.
Mutant 1: Shh.
Rob: Leader's bogging.
Don: Leader billy berserk, Rob. He peg Batman, you see.
Mutant 1: Shh.
Mutant Leader: That a tickle?
Batman: That was a nerve bundle in your deltoid. Might not hurt, but you won't be moving that arm for a while.
Don: He dusted. Batman dusted.
Rob: Batman don't shiv. You see.
Mutant Leader: You finished, old man.
Batman: You don't get it, son. This isn't a mud hole. It's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon.
Sons of Batman Spokesman: (on TV) The Mutants are dead. This is the new face of the law. We are the sons of Batman. And Gotham's criminals are about to enter hell.
Commissioner Gordon: (on phone) It worked. We rounded up about half of them, no fight left in them at all. Those that got away have broken off into smaller gangs.
Bruce Wayne: (on phone) I'll deal with the rest of them in time.
Commissioner Gordon: (on phone) You'll be doing that on your own. Good luck, Bruce. You're gonna need it.
Arrested Man: I'm telling you, l didn't do nothing.
Lola Chang: (on TV) Instances of Batman-inspired vigilantism are on the rise. Regular people fighting to take back their neighborhoods.
Alfred Pennyworth: How are you feeling, sir?
Peppi Spandeck: (on TV) I know l should have been afraid. But this is my block. The guy was mugging a lady in front of my shop.
Bruce Wayne: Like it was yesterday.
Dr. Wolper: (on TV) Exactly as l warned, the Batman has infected the minds of Gotham's youth. Poisoned these so-called "Sons of Batman" with an insidious excuse for the most violently anti-social behavior.
Woman: (on TV) Batman? I'm tired of hearing about him. Why can't he just let things go, the way the rest of us do? We count too.
Lana Lang: (on TV) A bunch of psychopaths turn on criminals instead of the rest of us, and you wanna blame Batman? I say more power to them.
Sons of Batman Spokesman: (on TV) Do not expect any further statements. The Sons of Batman do not make speeches. We act.
Joker: B-B-...
Sons of Batman Spokesman: (on TV) Gotham City belongs to the Batman.
Joker: B-B-... Batman. Darling.
[He grins evilly. Roll credits.]
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