Heartbeat/Transcript

This article is the Transcript of Murder Drones Episode 2: Heartbeat:
==Scene 1==
[GLITCH YouTube channel intro.]
[Inside Elliott Manor.]
James: We've got to curb her trips to the dump.
[Worker Drone N listens to James while looking at him, holding a waiter tray of glasses. Thunder rumbles.]
James: And where's she getting the hair to play dress-up with them? Creepy.
[James throws a glass and N catches it with his tray, before bowing and walking off.]
[N collides with V accidentally around the corner of a hallway.]
Both: Ah! [They fall to the ground, N's tray falling with them.]
N: Oh! I-I'm so sorry-
V: It's okay, I-I wasn't looking.
[N and V touch each other's hands accidentally when tiding up the glasses, causing a little spark. They look at each other, N blushes.]
[J kicks N in the head with her foot, knocking him to the ground again.]
J: Move it, moro- [Sickly sweet.] Hiiii, Tessa! Oh, no. Another one?
[A fourth drone shows up behind Tessa as the screen glitches and cuts to black.]
==Scene 2==
[N wakes up, upside down, hollers out loud then falls to the ground.]
Uzi: [Muffled.] N, found something in here!
[In the landing pod, Uzi is holding a pilot badge. She looks at a mirror but the AbsoluteSolver symbol flashes up on Uzi's eye and shatters the mirror before returning to normal.]
[V, who is blowing bubbles, turns around in a chair to look at Uzi.]
V: That's weird and concerning.
Uzi: Bite me. This is probably your weirdos' fault.
V: I've never seen that symbol before. [Sinister tone.] Wanna do an autopsy to find out?
[N climbs down the ladder into the landing pod.]
N: What'd you find?
[Uzi slaps the badge onto N's hat.]
Uzi: Did you know that was a pilot hat?
N: I was the pilot?! That's aweso- [Whispering.] I crashed and ruined everything. Spaceship pilot, origin story.
[V hisses, then returns to blowing bubbles.]
N: Speaking of piloting to earth, are we sure murder all humans is, uh... "morality"?
Uzi: The humans sent you without a communication relay and reformatted your memories to soup. Covering their tracks means they're past negotiating. Not that they tried negotiating with my mom.
[V suddenly lunges at Uzi, but it turns out she is chained by her leg to the floor.]
V: [Increasingly sinister.] Or, you missed the negotiations. The humans programmed us to solve a problem. Where's proof of your backstory? The one where your kind's so conveniently innocent? [Chuckles.]
[Comically, N pulls Uzi back from V while V rolls her eyes.]
N: J was getting orders from someone. If not the company, through that relay, then, uh, who. And how?
Uzi: [Angrily.] Quit complicating my murder plan.
[Hesitantly, N pats Uzi, which she rejects. V narrows her eyes.]
==Scene 3==
[Inside Outpost 3 at the warehouse. Two drones look up at the big hole in the ceiling that was left over from the fight in the pilot. J's body is still in the same place.]
Tim: Here, just fix'er up 'cause- whoops. Pretty big security risk in hindsight. Eh, you got this... [Ignoring the blatantly obvious name tag.] "LadderBot 5000"? 
Frank: [Sighs.] Please, just leave the light-
[Tim turns the lights off.]
[Frank starts to prepare his tools and brings out a flashlight when he hears a strange, metallic sounds. Frank goes around to inspect his surroundings, where the viewer could see J's body has disappeared from beside Frank.]
[Off to a corner, something organic could be seen. Frank approaches it where it turns out to be J's corrupted core. The core activates an alarm, transforms into an eldritch being. Warnings are burned into nearby concrete. The eldritch kills Frank off screen as his screams could be heard.]
==Scene 4==
[In the classroom, a parent-teacher conference is being held.]
Teacher: Mr. Doorman, your daughter has been absent.
Khan: Yes, on that, "kill all humans kick", like when I was younger, grounded herself and all that.
Teacher: Speaking on her behavior...
Khan: Of course, of course. Precocious, popular, supernatural understanding of doors. Takes after her old man.
[flashback]
Teacher: Uzi, please sit normal.
Uzi: Bite me.
Teacher: Uzi, give Braidon back his sentience.
Uzi (as Braidon): Bite me- her. I started it, and also am dumb.
Teacher: Uzi, you have to partner up.
Uzi: Several people wanted to, for the record.
Lizzy: No we didn't, you freak us out.
Uzi: But mostly, bite me.
[end of flashback]
Teacher: Yeah, she has trouble fitting in. We think there might be something damaged with her programming. How is she at home?
Khan: Sorry? I mean she's a little herself, but damaged? I maybe haven't spent much time-
Teacher: Mhm.
Unnamed Worker: Mr. Doorman, sir. There's been an incident.
==Scene 5==
Uzi: Ugh, I'm sweaty. Who programmed that?
N: You good, Uzi?
Uzi: I'm good. Better than good. I am GOD!
[Uzi sees Thad, with her railgun]
Uzi (nervously): Hi, hi Thad. Thank you.
Thad: Of course, Zi! N and M's. You saved my life. I don't think the colony is even serious about all this banishment stuff. More just confused, especially with-
Uzi: The fact that I'm too rogue to re-enter society now, I can never return.
Thad: The recent disappearances? And your murder friend's corpse? When I went to grab your gun, it kinda looked like it crawled away?
Uzi: We can return a little.
==Scene 6==
Tim: Oh, LadderBot 5000? We looked everywhere for you.
Hologram of Frank: Hello, Tim. Care to join me?
Tim: Join you, standing eerily still over there in suspiciously low resolution?
Hologram of Frank: Yes?
Tim: Alright.
[A giant claw drags Tim up a ventilation shaft and kills him]
Hologram of Tim: Flawless character acting, me.
Hologram of Frank: Improv game for more practice?
Hologram of Tim: Hahaha! We are a monster.
==Scene 7==
[N, Uzi and Thad, in front of Door 1]
Ron: Welcome back Thad! Hey, wait, isn't she grounded or something?
Uzi: Ugh, banished! Has my dad been saying I'm grounded?
Ron: Genocide robot?
[N gives Ron a hand-drawn card saying that he's sorry]
Ron: Oh, all right, just don't do it again. Get in here, ya goobs!
[investigation scene]
Unnamed Worker: Yeah, where's Khan? 'Cause this looks, ew, non-ideal.
Sarah: Parent teacher conference. Something about his daughter being more important than building a door in this hallway. Kinda cringe.
Unnamed Worker: Ew, Yeah. Give me a minute. Almost threw up.
[N, Thad and Uzi, behind the investigation scene]
N: You good?
Uzi: I'm good. Stop asking!
[investigation scene]
Sarah: Any forensic things over there? Do we have fingerprints?
[everything becomes a hologram, Sarah gets killed]
==Scene 8==
[parent teacher conference]
Khan: I mean, you don't think it's my parenting, do you? I left her for dead once. It sounds like she's bored in your class, and the other kids suck. Call her damaged again, and i will install a DOOR on your FACE!
[Lizzy and Doll on the other side of the room]
Lizzy: Where are your folks?
Doll: Мёртвые. Я смотрела как они умирали. (Dead. I watched them die.)
Lizzy: That was the joke, idiot.
[Lizzy sees a clone of herself behind the door]
Lizzy: That girl is... gorgeous, right? I'm gonna let her in!
==Scene 9==
[N, Uzi and Thad in the bunker]
Uzi: You guys, do that often?
N: Haha, no. I'm very concerned but also, pretty frightened a little bit.
Thad: Hey, Zi! What's this thing?
N: Hey, isn't that your special eye?
Uzi: Don't call it that!
[Uzi goes closer to investigate]
Uzi: "AbsoluteSolver"? "Reboot"? Does this have something to do with how you grew your head back?
N: I actively avoid unpacking how that works.
Uzi: New material can't be pulled from thin air. If the wound is severe enough, this solver might be some sort of auto-run program to collect more mat-
[N closes Uzi's mouth]
[A human hand connected to a rope crawls to them, grabs Thad's leg]
[N shoots a missile, to see how far the rope goes on]
[N and Uzi are shocked while Thad gets grabbed by the human hand]
[The rope gets ripped apart by N's ninja star]
Uzi: I want a frickin' ninja star!
[Thad gets captured by the unknown creature, while also hurting N and Uzi]
N: You good?
Uzi: Stop asking! Chainsaw hand time?
N: Yeah, cool-cool-cool.
[N and Uzi run to the Cryosleep room]
Hologram of Thad: Yes and hello, it's me, Ted. Can I get a location?
[N and Uzi are suspicious]
Hologram of Thad: I heard dentist's office. I'm sat at the dentist's office. Come over here for your, teeth.
[Uzi activates her railgun]
Uzi: Predictably terrible work, J. Why do you look so-
N: Great! You look great, J.
Hologram of Thad: No, wait guys, it's really me! [voice glitching] Is that a ninja star?
[N and Uzi throw a ninja star at the hologram]
[Real Thad falls down]
Thad: Lifesavers again. Thanks. Super invited to my shindig next weekend. Cool kids only.
[N and Uzi rejoice]
Eldritch J: We're busy then anyway, so whatever, so lame.
Uzi: What's with the voice, J?
Eldritch J: Oh, J's not here. We are trying to repair that host as per our directive.
Uzi: So you are a program?
Eldritch J: More like, you are our cute puppets.
Eldritch J (as a hologram of Nori): It hurts our feelings you don't remember us.
Uzi: N? What's with the mom hologram?
Eldritch J: Easier to assimilate than explain.
Uzi: Not happening.
Eldritch J: Fair, but poor choice. Now we will have to do something shocking.
Uzi: Whoa, hey!
Eldritch J: Goodbye, dad.
[Clone Khan Doorman gets killed by Eldritch J]
Uzi: What?
[missile shot]
N: Uzi, shoot! Or give it to me!
Eldritch J: Close one!
N: Uzi, you good?
Uzi: No.
[Uzi gives her railgun to N, which revealed that he was a clone]
Eldritch J: Pranked, idiot! You big stupid. 
[Eldritch J grabs Uzi by her head]
Eldritch J: Lucky for you, it's snack time. Time to go into my mouth now.
[Eldritch J gets disabled by N with his chainsaw hands]
Eldritch J: Ow, and please don't. And also, I was using those.
[N takes Uzi to shelter, as her railgun is about to explode]
[explosion]
[N used himself as a shield to protect Uzi]
[Eldritch J turns into a small black hole]
Uzi: What was- Which parts of that were real?
J's heart: Sneaky sneaky. Sneaking away. Get snuck up on.
[N hurts J's heart multiple times]
[J's heart turns into a small black hole]
[N tries to reconfort Uzi, but she is scared of him because of the previous ambush]
Uzi: What are you things?
[N goes away]
[The worker drones come to the room to see what happened]
Khan: Uzi? What are you doing?
[Uzi hugs Khan because of the previous ambush]
[Khan sees N]
==Scene 10==
[classroom, Doll alone]
[A spider droid comes up to Doll]
[flashback]
Lizzy: Gorgeous, right? I'm gonna let her in.
[Doll uses AbsoluteSolver to block the door]
Lizzy: Ah! Jesus, sorry industrial strength ghost, or whatever. Settle.
[end of flashback]
[Doll kills the spider droid with the AbsoluteSolver]
[Doll drinks the oil from her face]
[Doll looked at a picture of V.]
[spaceship]
V: Ugh. I hate your personality normally but this is somehow worse. What am I being punished for?
[reveals V's chains are broken]
[Uzi's bedroom]
[Uzi looks at her plot ceiling]
[End Credits]
ru:Сердцебиение/Стенограмма
Category:Transcripts