Liamson Times: Santos Mango Banana

== Santos: Mango-banana hybrid undergoes testing on humans ==
Althea K. Lucente | 2:47 PM | November 13, 2014
Health Sec. Frankie Santos IX announced that the first stage of testing mango-banana hybrids on humans has recently begun. Despite active criticism from the scientific and academic community, Santos affirms the public with claims of its "incredible medical power capable of healing any illness and disorder, including conceptual ones like current economic problems." Furthermore, he consistently claims that drinking water will heighten its effects.
The testing has allegedly been delayed by a month due to difficulties in finding test subjects, but Santos assured the public that his volunteering subjects will be safe from harm and enjoy massive lifetime financial assistance.
"While you are all pestering me to resign from my post, you shall be regretful of such sayings once this blessing is disseminated to every doorstep," Santos said in a statement, citing criticisms from local celebrities, icons, and experts urging him to resign. Amid concerns on renovating hospitals and medical institutions destroyed by The Ruling, Santos states that renovation shouldn't be a top priority.
Through a breakthrough in genome research known as CRISPY, the secretary's head research team was able to conflate the genetic code of native mangoes and bananas. After numerous trials and burning half of the department's budget, the team announced its first successful trial in September 2014. Shortly after, the department made #MangoBananaDanceChallenge a nationwide viral trend, promoting its potential and future consumption through dance videos.
The research for the fruit breeding project launched in March 2014, about one month after The Ruling, after a "realization from a dream" by Dr. Santos."
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