The Power of God

The Power of God presents itself as a bootleg copy of iron man 3, once acquired the wielder is granted unparalleled divine power, these powers include:
* The will to live
* The Ability to game-end Haggarty
* Control the speed at which lobsters die
* Kill Oprah Winfrey at anytime
* Turn wine into water
* Ability to produce Jammy Dodgers from any orifice 
* The Ability to unban Greggers from Sub-Rosa
* The ability to know obscure LOTR characters (for example Tom Bombadil)
* Sprite
* Advance time 2 seconds into the future.
* The ability to yote beings at the speed beyond light.
This Artifact was famously used by Skim Shady to defeat Haggarty in the battle for the stalls before it was destroyed by its own power