The ½ Year Anniversary Special!

==Prologue==
6:00 AM.
Cameraman: Here we are at J. Severe's household. Let's look.
(Camera zooms in on J. Severe, sleeping in bed)
J. Severe: (suddenly wakes up) What the --?! What are you doing here?!
Cameraman: I'm here to document the Joel Severe Wiki's 1/2 Year Anniversary Special.
J. Severe: That doesn't start until noon. Get lost.
Cameraman: But the Boss sent me to --.
J. Severe: (aims gun at camera) I said "get lost."
Cameraman: Yes, Mr. Severe! Sorry, Mr. Severe! (runs out)
----
==Beginning of the Special!==
J. Severe: Hello folks! I'm your host, J. Severe. Welcome to Joel Severe's Wiki's:
==== ½ Year Anniversary Special!====
Audience: (cheers like crazy)
J. Severe: Okay, okay. Yeah, I can't believe it's been half a year already. It seemed like just yesterday I clicked that "create a new wiki" button, and I created what has become an obsession to us all. Am I right?
Audience: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
J. Severe: Yes, that's great. But a special of utmost intensity like this one cannot be hosted by just I. So please welcome our guest host, Random Kid!
(Random Kid walks out from behind curtain as audience cheers loudly)
Random Kid: Hey, hey, hey! How's it goin', J?
(Random Kid and J. Severe give each other high-fives).
Random Kid: It feels good to be here with my best bud and all these random folks to celebrate a very special day.
J. Severe: 'Twas exactly six months ago that I made the best decision of my life.
Random Kid: Yep. And your wiki inspired me to create Stories and Info Wiki, who's having their 1/4 Anniversary this Saturday! Make some noise!
Audience: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Random Kid: J, you have the most hyper audience ever.
J. Severe: Yes I know. Well to kick off this jam, we'll read some letters mailed to us from the fans. I'll go get them right now, they're in my truck. Would you care to entertain the audience while I'm gone, Random?
Random Kid: Sure, J.
(J. Severe walks off stage)
Random Kid: So... are there any cute girls out there? 'Cuz, uh.. I'm single. This calls for a song: All my single ladies. All my single ladies. All my single ladies. Uh, put cha hands up!
(Severals girls in the audience raise their hands)
Random Kid: ''Cause if you liked it, put a ring on it! 'Cause if you liked it, put a ring on it! Wuh uh uh oh oh oh. Wuh uh uh oh oh oh.
J. Severe: What the heck are you doing, Kid?!
Random Kid: I, uh...
J. Severe: Sometimes I just don't know about that boy.
Random Kid: Hey, this is coming from a guy who still sleeps with his teddy bear.
J. Severe: Why'd you say that? When you put something on the internet, it stays there forever!
Random Kid: That's the point.
J. Severe: (swings at Random Kid)
Random Kid: Whoa! (ducks; kicks J. Severe)
J. Severe: (flies through the air and crashes into the wall, leaving a big gaping hole)
Random Kid: (lunges at J. Severe with bloody knife)
J. Severe: (jumps into the air)
Random Kid: (crashes into the wall)
J. Severe: (kicks Random Kid)
(Random Kid and J. Severe brutally strangle each other)
(Gunshots are fired from the audience)
Random Kid: Hey, this dude is wilin'! (ducks on floor)
J. Severe: Dwaaah! (ducks on floor)
Guy In Audience: I came here to see a 1/2 Year Anniversary Special, not an intense brawl!
Random Kid: I suppose he's right. J, you got the letters?
J. Severe: (takes letters out of pocket) Here they are!
----
==The Reading of the Letters==
(Prop guy brings in two chairs)
(J. Severe sits on the first chair; Random Kid sits on the second)
J. Severe: OK, our first letter is from Sarah Pickett from Gothang City, Utah. She says "Hi, J. Severe! I love your wiki, it's so funny! However, are you and Ashley JUST friends?" And then there's a picture of me and Ashley and... Well... That's very disgusting. Sarah Pickett, wherever you are, you're a fool is all!
Sarah: I'm in the audience right now, Poopy Head!
J. Severe: How dare you?! I know people who can track your sorry butt down and dispose of you like a Hershey bar wrapper!
Sarah: You still didn't answer my question.
J. Severe: Oh. Yes, we are just friends. Besides, Ashley's too ugly to be my --.
Ashley: (jumps out of nowhere) What did you say, Severe?!
J. Severe: (gasps) Oh no! Please Ashley, put the bag down!
Ashley: (hits J. Severe over the head with her purse several times)
J. Severe: What the --?! Waaah! Mom-meeee!
Ashley: (storms away) The nerve of some (random gibberish)...
J. Severe: (gets up with blisters and cuts all over his face) Ow! My back! Aw.. Random Kid would you mind reading the next letter while I go call my chiropractor?
Random Kid: Sure, J. (picks up letter) This one's from Anthony Hewitt of Sneaker City, Pennsylvania. He says, "I like the 'Joel Severe' story, but you didn't finish it yet. When will it be finished? And what's with Random Girl falling in love with Joel? What's going on?!"
J. Severe: Well, I know I started that story the day this wiki was made, but what with all the other articles, and me being a one-man band, it's been postponed several times. But it should be finished in the next several months.
Random Kid: It's also said that Random Girl is a close relative of Ashley.
Sarah: Oh, so you're in love with Ashley's cousin, eh?
J. Severe: Shut up girl, or Security will gladly boot you out!
Sarah: I'll be good...
J. Severe: Excellent. Next letter is from Wilson Daul of Belvont, New Hampshire. He says, "I have a few problems with the 'End of the World'. We all should now that it's nothing more than a bunch of rumors that got out of hand. But is it OK to make fun on it, or write a story?"
Random Kid: What's so bad about the story? It's pretty intense. If you ask me, it's one of the most action-packed stories on Joel Severe Wiki.
J. Severe: Exactly. If it's never gonna happen (or maybe it will happen but way after our time), then it's okay to make an occasional spinoff or story. I mean, just look at the movie 2012. It's INTENSE!
Random Kid: Exactly. Nothing to worry about. Next letter. This is from Angela Brat of Long Island City. She says "Both Joel Severe and Stories and Info Wikis are great and I eagerly await all-new material. But what more can I expect? Love, Angie."
J. Severe: Well, for sure, you can guarantee new stories, new articles, new pictures, as well as changes to the sidebars. Both wikis are slowly but surely growing and soon the entire world will know of them, and the website will be busting with business.
Random Kid: Yes, it may take a long time, but we and our wikis will get the treatment we, oh so rightly deserve.
J. Severe: OK, what's next on the list?
----
==The Secret==
Random Kid: Uh-oh.
J. Severe: Uh-oh, what?
Random Kid: (shows J. Severe the schedule)
J. Severe: Oh my!
Random Kid: So what do we do?
J. Severe: What's left to do? We already paid for the airtime. We either do this, or end the show early.
Random Kid: (groans)
J. Severe: Random, I know this may put the world in jeopardy, but we have to do it. We have no choice.
Random Kid: Are you sure, J?
J. Severe: Have I ever been wrong about anything?
Random Kid: Yes, yes you have. Flashback time!
Flashback #1:
J. Severe: Come on, Random. Let's cross the street.
Random Kid: But they didn't say --.
J. Severe: Come on. There's no cars.
Random Kid: (shakes head)
J. Severe: Find suit yourself. (walks onto the street) What the heck?!
(J. Severe is run over by various cars!)
Flashback #2:
(J. Severe and Random Kid are at the zoo)
J. Severe: Hey Random, take a picture of me and this man-eating lion.
Random Kid: But it says no flash photography.
J. Severe: Just do it!
Random Kid: (takes picture)
Lion: (wakes up) Rooooaaar!
J. Severe: Waaaah!
Lion: (pulls J. Severe into cage)
J. Severe: Waaah ha ha!!!
Lion: (peels flesh off J. Severe)
Flashback #3:
J. Severe: (leans against the wall)
Random Kid: J, you shouldn't be leaning against that wall. You'd better get off quickly.
J. Severe: Eh, there's nothing to worry about.
RUMBLE!
J. Severe: Huh?
(The house collapses on top of J. Severe)
J. Severe: Ow.
Random Kid: Told ya.
Present:
J. Severe: OK, so I haven't make smart choices lately, but just trust me on this.
Random Kid: OK, fine. Audience, we are going to trust you with some confidential FBI info.
Audience: GASP!
J. Severe: I know, shocking ain't it?
Random Kid: It tells the TRUE origin of Joel Severe Wiki.
Audience: LOUDER GASP!
Guy In Audience: (faints)
J. Severe: It started out like this. 'Twas Tuesday, August 18 2009. I, J. Severe, was researching on Kingdom Hearts Wiki. I had come to like wikis for the past few months. And plus I had also liked writing stories. It didn't take a fool to know that I could easily combine the two. So I went to create. Create my own wiki. For fun. I didn't have some random people put a gun to my back. I just did it. I named it after my pen name, Joel Severe. I choosed the colors yellow and grey, genre: creative, and many other things to exact how I wanted my very own website to be. And then I clicked that "create" button. And I knew that I had made a bold step. I had just become the boss of a whole new addition to the world wide web. And with great power comes great responsibility. I knew I'd have to do work on it every day and it had to have my 100% attention. I knew I'd have to protect it from those who seek to catch and destroy. I knew... I had a new meaning in life. And thus my journey begun...
Audience: (claps profusely)
Random Kid: (claps, with tears streaking down his face) Wow, J. Wow! That was... the most inspiring speech I've ever heard. (shakes J. Severe's hand) I am glad to be your best friend.
J. Severe: Likewise, Random Kid. Likewise.
Random Kid: But there's more to the story! There was a short battle on this wiki known as the Web War, just a month ago. In this battle, a whole bunch of unregistered contributors came out of NOWHERE and started posting random trash. J. Severe was unable to access the computer at this time, so I took matters into my own hands. I logged onto J. Severe's account and, one by one, I blocked each of the vandalizers. I also accidentally blocked "Ajradditz", an editor who was actually an ally to us but was unrecognized at the moment. Later, proper precausions were taken to un-block the silent hero.
J. Severe: Following this excursion, my cousin "A. Louis", found out of this wiki's existance and immediately went to mess up everything. He was blocked for 3 days, but came back, mad with revenge, and did more damage than before. He was blocked for an entire YEAR, but then he came back as "Ferb11", and continued to rough up some trouble. He even asked Random Kid here to assist him in the bringing-down of Joel Severe Wiki. But he resisted, choosing to remain on the side of Justice, at which A. Louis messed up Stories and Info Wiki too. After he was blocked yet again, A. Louis's parents were notified of his delinquent behavior. A. Louis was never heard from since...
Random Kid: Yeah, we don't even know if he's still alive.
J. Severe: For all we know, he could've escaped from jail and is on his way right now to do us in!
Random Kid: Yeah, but I'd like to see him do that when we have security all over the building.
J. Severe: Uh-huh. He's defenseless. Anyway, what's next?
----
==Preparations==
Random Kid: Seems that we have to order the food.
J. Severe: OK, but what do we order?
Randm Kid: (pulls out list)
J. Severe: Hoh boy. This is gonna hurt my budget.
This is what was on the list:
#30 Pepperoni Pizzas
#75 lbs of Hot Wings (with 45 tubs of blue cheese sauce)
#35 boxes of jumbo nachos
#55 lobsters
#20 tubs of shrimp
#65 orders of Chinese food
#25 boxes of fried chicken
#60 burgers
#50 mega-boxes of french fries
#45 packets of chicken nuggets
#80 bowls of ice cream
#40 liters of Pepsi, Sprite, and Coke soda
#1,000 forks
#900 spoons
#500,000 cups
#2,000 plastic plates
J. Severe: Hey, hey, hey! Do you think I'm made of money?
Random Kid: No. I think you're made of cells.
Audience: (laughs)
J. Severe: Shut up! It's not funny!
Audience: BOO! (throws random debris at J. Severe)
J. Severe: Whoa! Careful with that! I --
(Folding chair hits J. Severe's head)
J. Severe: Uh... (falls down unconscious)
Random Kid: Well, that's not good. (pokes J. Severe with a stick) Yep, he's out cold. But fortunately... (pulls checkbook out of J. Severe's pocket) We've got the money! (runs to phone) Let's see, we'll call the pizza place now.
1 HOUR LATER...
J. Severe: Uh... (gets off the floor) Hey, where's my checkbook?
Random Kid: Here you go. (hands checkbook to J. Severe)
J. Severe: There are no more checks in here.
Random Kid: So?
J. Severe: I got this checkbook yesterday. It's supposed to be chockful of checks. Did you buy things while I was out cold?
Random Kid: Um... well, I -. Gasp! Look at the time. We gotta buy the stuff!
J. Severe: The stuff? What stuff? I was never notified of any stuff!
Random Kid: We can talk later. To Wal-Mart!
LATER AT WAL-MART...
J. Severe: What the heck are we supposed to do?
Random Kid: Buy balloons, streamers, table cloths. If this is gonna be the party of the century, it's gotta look like one.
J. Severe: True. But where are we supposed to get the money?
Random Kid: Don't worry. I took all the money out of your bank account today.
J. Severe: Oh. Well I have thousands of dollars in the bank, so this should be easy.
Random Kid: Yeah. Here's the thing, there's only $5 left.
J. Severe: What?!
Random Kid: But don't worry, I still have a few checks in here. So instead of paying cash, they can take the money out of your bank account.
J. Severe: But there's no money in my bank account!!
Random Kid: Exactly. But by the time they find out, the party will be long over. It's foolproof.
J. Severe: (sigh) I am SO grounded...
(Random Kid and J. Severe do their shopping of party items and take the items home).
Random Kid: OK, so all we have to do is decorate the living room and then we'll be back in business.
(DING DONG!)
Random Kid: Gasp! The food is here!
J. Severe: The what?
Random Kid: The food.
J. Severe: What food? I don't remember ordering any food.
(Truckloads of food wait outside the house)
J. Severe: Well that explains where all the money went.
(Several employees bring in the food as Random Kid and J. Severe hang the decorations).
SOMETIME LATER...
Random Kid: Ah... It looks perfect. Especially the banner that says "Hap half birthday, Joel Severe Wiki."
J. Severe: I came up with that.
----
==Questions==
J. Severe: We'll answer questions from the audience as we wait for people to line up outside for the party.
Random Kid: Let's see how about you, Old Lady?
Old Lady: I'm not old. I'm only 35!
Random Kid: Like I said, old. Your question, please?
Old Lady: When were you born, J. Severe?
J. Severe: I'm sorry, I can't answer that question. See, there are some foolish online predators who would love to find out where I live so they can dispose of me once and for all! But to prevent that from happening, I can't reveal any personal information. I can tell you, however, that I was born in May.
Old Lady: Okay.
J. Severe: Next question. Guy with mustache!
Guy With Mustache: In the "Joel Severe" story, it says Joel is a really smart boy. However, in the "Joel the Warrior" story, it says that you were a boy who gets Fs constantly. Please elaborate on this.
J. Severe: Simple, it was after Joel graduated from the Military academy that he got good grades and became the genius he is today. What's more to say?
Guy With Mustache: Oh I see. That makes perfect sense.
J. Severe: By the way, what's an old geezer like you doing on a children's website?
Guy With Mustache: Um... well I... Aaaaah!!! (jumps out window)
Random Kid: Well....
J. Severe: Next question.
Sarah: (raises her hand)
J. Severe: You I'm ignoring. Next! Red-haired teenager in the back.
Red-Haired Teenager in the Back: Where did you and Random Kid meet and how'd you become friends?
J. Severe: Well, that's a very long and intense story, full of crippling action and witty words and whatnot. We actually used to hate each other, but then an event that changed our lives occured and then we realized we had much in common. Thus, we became best friends.
Red-Haired Teenager in the Back: Well, you still didn't exactly answer my question.
Random Kid: Listen if you want the thrilling, uncut story, just click this: Random Kid and J.Severe!
Red-Haired Teenager in the Back: Okay, then. Yeesh.
J. Severe: Next question. Middle-aged guy with smooth hair.
Middle-Aged Guy With Smooth Hair: Dude, your stories are oh d funny!
J. Severe: "Oh d funny"? Is that some kind of insult?!
Middle-Aged Guy With Smooth Hair: No, it means they are ---.
J. Severe: Shut cho fat mouth, boy! Guards, get this fool out of my house!
Middle-Aged Guy With Smooth Hair: Wait, but I --! (guards start to drag him away) No! You can't do this! I have rights! Waaah!
(Middle-Aged Guy is pulled behind curtains. Gunshots are heard from behind the curtains)
Random Kid: Huh... Next question!
J. Severe: Rich guy with leather jacket!
Rich Guy: You are nothing but a pathetic poor swine.
J. Severe: What the --?! How dare you say that!
Rich Guy: I own this town. I can do whatever I want.
J. Severe: Well you're just a fat, greedy hippopotamus!
Rich Guy: Shut cho fat mouth, kid!
J. Severe: That's it! You're wife is ugly!
Rich Guy's Wife: (cries) How can you say something so hurtful?
Random Kid: Easy. You need to go on Weight Watchers. See how that goes?
(Rich Guy and Rich Guy's Wife walk away, angry at J. Severe)
J. Severe: Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Correction: let the door hit you on the way out. The more pain you feel, the happier I am.
Random Kid: Aren't you being a little mean?
J. Severe: All these people deserve it.
Random Kid: Even the Middle-Aged Guy who was shot to death behind the curtain?
J. Severe: Well, I just didn't like him. He had a creepy smile.
(Several people leave the audience)
J. Severe: Wait, where are you going?
Random Guy: Home. To watch the Winter Olympics.
J. Severe: So you'd miss my special just to see a bunch of snowy sports? I'm outraged!
Sarah: (raises hand)
J. Severe: What is it ya little devil?
Sarah: I'd like to challenge you to a gun fight.
Audience: Ooh.
J. Severe: I can't fight HER!
Random Kid: Why not? She's only 7 years old.
J. Severe: I know. But what will her mother think?
Sarah's Mom: I want her to kick your ugly butt!
J. Severe: How do you know my butt's ugly?
Sarah's Mom: Well if it's anything like your face, it shouldn't be shown in public. Heck, it shouldn't even be shown in private!
J. Severe: That's it! Bring it on, li'l lady!
===J. Severe vs Sarah! (An Intense Gun Fight)===
Random Kid: (hands J. Severe and Sarah rifles) Okay folks, let's play nice. No blood or anything, please. I just vaccumed. Ready.. set... go!
(Before J. Severe has a chance to put his finger near the trigger, Sarah is already rapidly firing).
J. Severe: Whoa! (drops gun and runs across stage to hide behind curtain)
J. Severe: Whew! I'm safe.
(Bullets pierce through curtain)
J. Severe: Waah! (runs away as curtain bursts into flames)
Random Kid: Fire!
(Curtain falls on stage. Stage bursts into flames)
Random Kid: Bigger fire!
Audience: Waaaaah!
(People in the audience start running around and screaming in panic)
Random Kid: Eat foam, fire! (unleashes fire extinguisher on fire)
J. Severe: Uh, Random Kid. That's not a fire extinguisher.
Random Kid: What is it?
J. Severe: That's a gasoline container.
Random Kid: Oh crud.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
(The house is blown up and sparks as well as sawdust fly across the air)
J. Severe: Well this can't get any worse.
Ugly Girl: J. Severe!!! I love you!!! I just want to kiss you!!!
J. Severe: Waaah! What is that thing?!
Ugly Girl: My name is VILSON!!!
J. Severe: Whoooooooaaahhhh!
(J. Severe is so EXTREMELY DISGUSTED that he couldn't say anything for the next few seconds.)
J. Severe: G-g-guards! Get that crazy beast as far away from me as possible!
(Guards drag Vilson away).
J. Severe: And while you're at that, take out Sarah will ya?
Guard: OK boss. (reaches for gun)
J. Severe: I don't mean kill her. Just take her away.
Guard: Sure, boss.
J. Severe: I'm serious!
----
==Start the Party!==
J. Severe: Well now where are we supposed to hold the party?
Random Kid: Well my cousin knows this great studio that we could use.
J. Severe: Excellent! Let's go!
(Sleek black limo pulls up in front of J. Severe and Random Kid).
Random Kid: (puts on cool sunglasses) Let's do this!
(Limo drives JS and RK to the studio).
J. Severe: Whoa! This is a cool studio.
Random Kid: Yeah I know. I'm thinking of having my 1/4 Year Anniversary Special here.
J. Severe: Let's go inside.
(JS and RK walk inside the studio)
J. Severe: Let's take whatever's left from the explosion and try to decorate this place.
(JS and RK re-decorate the studio)
J. Severe: There. Everything is perfect. Random, go tell the partygoers outside that they can come in.
Random Kid: (walks outside) Okay folks, it's fine to come in--.
(Partygoers trample Random Kid and rush inside).
Random Teen: Come on! Where's the food, music, and hot girls?!
J. Severe: What the--? Well I've never been so insulted. Why the heck would I have "hot girls" at my party? I'm only blank years old!
Random Teen: Hey, I just wanted to add some spice to this joint.
J. Severe: If we want to add spice, we only need to get the oversized pepper shaker. Anyway, the food's in the kitchen and Random Kid here is the D.J. and --.
Other Random Teen: What kind of music do you have?
J. Severe: What kind of music do you THINK I have?
Other Random Teen: Soulja Boy?
J. Severe: Heck no! I have the best known music in the world. Get ready to jam!
Audience: Yaaaay!
J. Severe: With... the Pink Panther theme!
Random Kid: (dusts off record and puts it on record player)
(The Pink Panther theme plays)
J. Severe: Believe it or not, the Pink Panther theme was composed in the 1970s by Henry Mancini for the first series of PP films, which starred Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau.
Random Teen: (snicker)
J. Severe: What?
Random Teen: You said "PP." But other than that, this is bunk! Let's blow this pop stand!
(Audience starts to leave)
J. Severe: Wait! Random, help me out here!
Random Kid: (pulls out shiny CD) May I?
J. Severe: Sure. Go nuts.
Random Kid: (pulls CD on open CD player)
(Start the Party from "Camp Rock" plays).
Random Teen: (comes back) Yo, I gotta pump this jam! (starts dancing)
(Audience starts dancing)
Other Random Teen: (does the moonwalk)
(Smoke suddenly fills the stage. When it clears, the Jonas Brothers are performing!)
J. Severe: What the heck! I didn't tell these foolish celebrities to show up!
Random Kid: I knew you were going to ruin the party with instrumental music, so I decided to call some help.
J. Severe: (is extremely annoyed) You know what Random, just shut up. If anyone needs me, I'll be the kitchen with a bucket of fried chicken.
Random Kid: Wait, J...
J. Severe: Leave me alone, Random. (walks away)
Random Kid: Wait, J! Ugh! Hey, dudes. Can you keep the crowd busy while I go talk to J?
Joe Jonas: Sure man.
Random Kid: (rushes to kitchen)
Nick Jonas: Are y'all ready to ROCK?!
Audience: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!
Kevin Jonas: I'll take that as a yes.
(Random Kid rushes to kitchen where J. Severe sits with a bucket of KFC)
Random Kid: (sits beside J. Severe) What's wrong, buddy?
J. Severe: Random, do you think I'm... not "hip" to what's "new and fresh"?
Random Kid: No. I mean, there's plenty of great classical music nowadays.
J. Severe: I don't know. Everything they like, I hate. And everything I like, they hate.
Random Kid: Listen, it don't matter what they think. You believe what you believe, and no one can tell you twice.
J. Severe: Yeah.. you're right, Random! I'll show them! (marches out to stage)
Jonas Brothers: Start, start, start the party! Come on, come on, everyone! Let's, start, start, start the party!
J. Severe: Shut cho fat mouth, Jonas!
Audience: GASP!
Joe Jonas: This dude is wilin'!
Random Kid: Hey, that's my line.
J. Severe: Listen boys, no offense but... Your services are no longer required. I'll take it from here.
Nick Jonas: Dang, we had Demi Lovato backstage. (walks off stage with his brothers).
J. Severe: OK, folks. Whether you like it or not, we're gonna play instrumental music.
Audience: (groans)
Kevin Jonas: That's what he kicked us off stage for?
J. Severe: Zip it, Kev!
Random Kid: What song are you gonna use?
J. Severe: I'll use... Simple and Clean by the KINGDOM Orchestra.
Random Kid: No! J, anything but that! That song will have them begging for more!
J. Severe: That's the point. Random, put in the CD.
Random Teen: Hey, if it's a classical song but it's on a modern CD, it may not be so bad.
Random Kid: (inserts CD)
(Simple and Clean plays for 2 minutes and 45 seconds. When it ends, the audience bursts into applause)
Random Teen: (claps loudly, with tears streaking down his face) Wow! That's the best song I've ever heard! I'll quit listening to this rap junk, and indulge in some REAL entertainment.
Random Kid: You've got them right where you want them.
J. Severe: Excellent. OK guys, let's go the next event.
(NOTE: See below for the instrumental song that left folks speachless.)
195px
----
==The Award Show!==
(Curtains cover the stage).
J. Severe: Ow, oof. What are you --? Dah! Careful, you fool.
Random Kid: Ouch! Hey, what's with you?
J. Severe: It's not me, I --.
(Curtains open to reveal J. Severe and Random Kid in their underwear)
Random Kid: Shut the curtains you idiot!
(Curtains close again)
J. Severe: Move it, I need to get my dress shoes.
Random Kid: Move, I can't get the makeup.
J. Severe: Makeup?
Random Kid: Yeah I got a nasty cut last week having an intense battle with Michael. So I need makeup to hide it.
(Curtains open to reveal Random Kid and J. Severe in very elegant suits).
J. Severe: There. Now welcome to the Joel Severe Wiki's ½ Year Anniversary Special Award Show!
Audience: (cheers)
Random Kid: We'll award some of the favorite stories, quotes, and pages as voted by YOU, the readers. And then they will be announced.
J. Severe: And afterword, we shall welcome our Secret Special Guest!
Random Kid: So let's get votin'!
(5 minutes later...)
Random Kid: Wow. That was quick. Well thank you for voting folks. J. Severe, will you do the honors?
===Quotes===
J. Severe: (pulls out envelope) You voted for the funniest quote. And the winner is... (rips open envelope)
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha. I’m a fool."
- Ansem the Wise (Kingdom Hearts II)
Audience: YAAAAAY!
Random Kid: (pulls out envelope) You voted for most intense quote. And the winner is... (opens envelope)
"Get your hands off him you darn dirty ape! Waaaaaaah!" (gives ape a wicked punch)
- Buttercup (The Powerpuff Girls Movie)
Audience: WHOOO!
===Videos/Songs===
J. Severe: (pulls out envelope) Now this isn't actually something you vote for, we just had to announce it. The award for most videos on a page goes to... (rips open envelope)... Michael Jackson.
Audience: Yaaay!
Random Kid: Wait, there's a typo. It turns out the Michael Jackson page only has 9 videos. But the Phineas and Ferb page has double that number, with 18!
Audience: Whoo-hoo!
Random Kid: (pulls out envelope) You voted for favorite song and the winner is... (rips open envelope)... "When We're Human" from the 2009 movie, The Princess and the Frog.
200px
J. Severe: Yep, that's one jazzy tune.
Audience: (silence)
J. Severe: Uh, isn't this the part where you guys applaud?
Random Teen: Jazz is so 1992.
J. Severe: I see. (pulls out envelope) You voted for most intense song, and the winner is... (opens envelope)... "Terror Time Again" from the 1998 film, Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island.
200px
Audience: Whoo-ha-ha!
J. Severe: Oh, so you like horror films but good ol' jazz ain't good enough for ya, eh boy?
Random Kid: Get over it, J. (pulls out envelope)
===Articles===
Random Kid: You voted for your favorite page on this wiki and you choose...(opens envelope)... Well, I'll be darned. It's the Joel Severe page.
J. Severe: Aw. Y'all like little old me?
Random Teen: No we just liked the intense story!
J. Severe: Oh.. well..
Random Kid: Well at least you were IN the story.
J. Severe: Yes. Anyway, you voted for the funniest story on this wiki and.. (opens envelope) You all unanimously chose the Joel Severe Wiki's ... Oh wait a second. That's this story! Wow, you must really like this.
Random Teen: Well, it blows away the Other Life Story.
Random Kid: Uh-huh. (pulls out envelope) And the #1 intense story on Joel Severe Wiki is... (opens envelope) The 2012 Story! Wow, I'm surprised.
J. Severe: Well, it is the most intense story on JSW. That can be proven as a fact. However, if you compare it to the stories on SIW, it's a whole new ballgame.
Random Kid: Well you can't argue with that.
J. Severe: And now the award! (pulls out envelope) The best host of the special. Why, that would have me competing against Random Kid.
Random Kid: Well whatcha waitin' for? Open it!
J. Severe: (opens envelope) And the better host is... Random Kid?!! What the heck?!
Audience: WHOOOOO!
Random Kid: Thank you! Thank you! (blows kisses)
J. Severe: What? This can't be right! Hey, there's a second card in here!
Random Kid and Audience: Huh?
J. Severe: There appears to be a tie! Yes!
Audience: BOO!
J. Severe: What the --?
Random Teen: You stink! (pulls out machine gun)
J. Severe: Whoa! This concludes the Award show! Close the curtain before he shoots!
(Curtains close)
----
==The Secret Special Guest==
J. Severe: Now it's the moment you've all been waiting for: our secret special guest!
Random Kid: Yeah, he's so secret that even WE don't know who he is.
J. Severe: You invited a guest that you didn't know?!
Random Kid: No, I just let the technical assistant Dan choose who the guest will be.
J. Severe: So it could be anyone in the world in that dark van outside?
Random Kid: Not just anyone. Someone Dan knows.
(A shady character emerges from the dark van).
J. Severe: The suspense is killing me!
(The doors open and smoke comes in. When the smoke clears, it is revealed to be none other than...)
J. Severe: ... A. Louis!!!
A. Louis: Yeah, that's me ya snitch!
J. Severe: Who ya calin' a snitch, cousin?!
A. Louis: Who else is a snitch around here?
J. Severe: Your ugly face!
A. Louis: You squealed to my parents and got me arrested. Even though they put me in rehab, I still long for the day I can exact my revenge on you and your foolish wikis!
J. Severe: Shut yo mouth, boahy!
Random Kid: Guys, I know you hate each other's guts but this a nationally broadcast internet special. Can you guys resume it when A's on bail?
J. Severe: Sure.
A. Louis: Well I can't! I'm gonna kill ya, Severe! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
J. Severe: Yeah it is. Before you get shot down by the police.
A. Louis: Get over here so I can choke ya!
J. Severe: I'd like to see you do that with those handcuffs on ya.
A. Louis: Grrr...
Random Kid: Come on guys. Let's sit down so the audience can ask A. Louis some questions.
J. Severe: I got a question. A. Louis can you spell your name?
A. Louis: Duh. A-L-O-U-I-S.
J. Severe: Wrong. Your name is spelled F-A-T.
Random Kid: Now it's the audience's turn!
===Questions 4 the Criminal!===
Random Dude: A. Louis, when did you find out you were an ugly fool?
A. Louis: Shut up, you [bleep]!
Random Kid: A. Louis, please refrain from using such language!
A. Louis: Would you like me to slip a snake up your [bleep]?!
J. Severe: No, I'm sure he wouldn't. Now stop swearing or I'll put this taser to good use.
Fat Guy: A. Louis, do you like fried chicken strips?
A. Louis: Well, of course... Wait. Fat Albert's calling, he wants his obesity back.
Fat Guy: That hurts!
A. Louis: So does looking at you.
Fat Guy: (runs out door)
A. Louis: I doubt you can fit through the door!
J. Severe: A. Louis, stop chasing my fans away!
A. Louis: I don't have to. Your face is doing that well enough already.
J. Severe: (lunges at A. Louis) Let me at him!
Random Kid: (holds J. Severe back) Stop it, J! You're better than him!
A. Louis: Why? You chicken?
Random Kid: No I am NOT!
A. Louis: Then why won't you use your real name instead of "Random Kid"?
J. Severe: (swings at A. Louis)
A. Louis: Gemme your best shot!
(The S.W.A.T. team comes crashing through the windows)
A. Louis: Oh no, they've found me! (points at J. Severe) You set me up!
(S.W.A.T. officers grab ahold of A. Louis)
S.W.A.T. Officer: You've escaped from rehab. You shall return to prison where you are charged an extra 5 years in captivity.
J. Severe: Ha! I didn't set you up, but it's good to see you looking like a fool in front of the world.
A. Louis: (snarls at J. Severe)
Reporter Lady: Last question. Why'd you do whatcha did, A. Louis?
J. Severe: Simple. The boy was jealous of me and my unique writing skills. He went to sabotage my work but ultimately failed!
A. Louis: No I wasn't! I just like to mess up your stuff. It's fun to see you mad. I was having the time of my life, but then you had to go and ruin the ride.
Random Kid: Whatever the reason, you made a very foolish decision and you're paying the price!
A. Louis: I'll be back! And I'll make you pay! YOU'LL ALL PAY!
Random Guy: What did we ever do to you?
A. Louis: All you have to do to be my enemy is be born!
(S.W.A.T. team drags A. Louis out the studio).
J. Severe: And don't come back!!!
----
==The Trick Master's Card Show==
Random Kid: Now we'll treat you to a magic show!
Audience: Yaaaaay!
J. Severe: Uh, wait... change of schedule! Turns out that it is actually a card show.
Audience: Ohhh...
J. Severe: Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fun nevertheless.
Audience: (looks at J. Severe)
J. Severe: Okay, probably not. But still...
Random Kid: Welcome the magnificient Dr. Nacilier!!
(A shady character with a tall hat and a thin mustache emerges from the audience and walks onstage)
Dr. Nacilier: Please... call me.. the Trick Master.
J. Severe: Uh.. okay Dr - uh, I mean - Trick Master.
Dr. Nacilier: Great. Now get off the stage.
J. Severe: Hey, hold on, this is MY wiki.
Dr. Nacilier: Get the heck off!
J. Severe: Yaaah! (jumps off stage)
Dr. Nacilier: I'll need two volunteers from the audience. How about you: fancy-looking guy and short, fat servant.
(Fancy-looking guy and Short, fat servant walk on stage)
Dr. Nacilier: (magically poofs up table) Sit down at my table. Put your mind at ease. If you relax it will enable me, to do.. anything I please. I can read your future. I can change it round some, too. I can look deep into your heart and soul. Make your wildest dreams come true. I got voodoo. I got hoodoo. I got things I ain't even tried! (sits down) And I got friends on the other side.
Background singers: He's got friends on the other side!
Servant: What the --?
Dr. Nacilier: (holds up a deck of cards) The cards. The cards. The cards will tell. The past, the present, and the future as well. The cards. The cards. Just take three. Take a little trip into your future with me.
(Fancy-looking guy and Short, fat servant take 3 cards).
Dr. Nacilier: (looks at Fancy-lookin' guy) Now you, my friend, are from across the sea. You come from two long lines of royalty. So ya just came here for the party.
Fancy-looking guy: (nods)
Dr. Nacilier: Your lifestyle's high. But your funds are low. You need to marry a little honey who's Daddy got dough! So you like to have a lot of fun, eh boy?
Fancy-looking guy: Uh-huh.
Dr. Nacilier: But to be free and have fun, it costs money. But freedom ... takes green! It's the green, it's the green you need! And when I look into the future, it's the green that I see! (turns over card to see Fancy-looking guy filthy rich)
Fancy-looking guy: (smiles)
Dr. Nacilier: (reluctantly turns to Servant) Now on you, little man, I wouldn't waste much time. You've been pushed around all your life. You've pushed around by your mother, and your sister, and your brother. And if you was married... you'd pushed around by yo wife! But when I look into the future, the you I see, is exactly the kind of man you've always wanted to be! (turns over card to see Servant as king and Fancy-looking guy as butler)
Servant: (smiles deviously then glares at Fancy-looking guy, who is still mindlessly staring at his card)
Dr. Nacilier: Shake my hand. Come on boys. Won't cha shake the poor sinner's hand?
(Fancy-looking guy and Servant shake Dr. Nacilier's hand)
Dr. Nacilier: Yeah....
(Room gets darker and ghouls and snakes pop out of nowhere)!
Dr. Nacilier: Are ya ready?!
J. Severe: What the heck is going on?!
Background singers: Are you ready?!
Dr. Nacilier: Are ya... ready? Transformation central!
(Fancy-looking guy is wrapped around by snakes)
Background singers: Transformation central!
Dr. Nacilier: Transmortification central!
Random Kid: Arrest that guy!
J. Severe: (lunges at Dr. Nacilier)
(Ghouls capture J. Severe and drag him away)
J. Severe: Waaaaaaahh!
Dr. Nacilier: (cuts off part of Fancy-looking guy's finger)
Fancy-looking guy: Ow!
Dr. Nacilier: You're changin', you're changin', you're cha-aaaa-nging! I hope you're satisfied! Cuz if you're not, you can blaim my friends on the other side!
(Room is drenched in overflowing green goo!)
Random Kid: Help! Where's J?!
(J. Severe is dragged into a portal)
J. Severe: Help! They're dragging me to "the other side"!
Random Kid: J! (rushes to J. Severe)
J. Severe: Nooooooooooo! (falls into the portal)
Random Kid: (is sucked into the portal) Whoa! This portal's wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiliiiin'!
Dr. Nacilier: (vanishes in a poof; reappears near portal where RK and JS have been sucked in; pulls Random Kid out)
Random Kid: (is pulled out out of portal, along with JS who is holding onto him)
Dr. Nacilier: You foolish ghouls, you're not supposed to take them to our hideout!
J. Severe: Nacilier! (swings at Dr. Nacilier)
Dr. Nacilier: (captures J. Severe in a blue aura) The name's Trick Master. (throws J. Severe across the air)
Random Kid: What are you gonna do?
Dr. Nacilier: (holds up talisman) I've captured the Fancy-looking guy's blood in this charm. Using it, I can transform into him, travel to his home, and inherit the throne!
Random Kid: That's genius. But also devious! You fiend!
(Frog jumps onto Dr. Nacilier's head and puts its hands over his eyes)
Frog: Quick! Grab the talisman!
Random Kid: The frog talked. But I've no time to be dumbfounded! (grabs talisman)
Dr. Nacilier: (grabs Frog; throws it on the floor; steps on it) Gasp! Where's the talisman?!
Random Kid: Lookin' for this?! (holds up talisman)
Dr. Nacilier: NO!
Random Kid: (throws talisman on the floor)
(The talisman breaks into a million pieces. Ghouls reappear, angry at Dr. Nacilier)
Background singers: Are ya ready?!
Dr. Nacilier: No! I'm not ready at all!
(Giant hand emerges from the portal and grabs Dr. Nacilier)
Dr. Nacilier: Wha --?!
(The frog underneath Dr. Nacilier's foot transforms back into the Fancy-looking guy)
Dr. Nacilier: (topples over and falls into the portal) NOOOO!
J. Severe: See ya, Nacilier!
Dr. Nacilier: I prefer to be called "Trick Mastaaaaaaa!"
(Portal closes)
J. Severe: Wow. That was pretty intense.
Random Kid: Even more intense than our fight at the beginning of the special?
J. Severe: No. It's not THAT intense.
----
==Jokes 'n Trivia==
===Horrible Jokes!===
J. Severe: OK folks, the special will be comin' to an end soon.
Audience: Awww...
Random Guy: Yay!
Audience: (throws stuff at Random Guy)
J. Severe: Yeah! Kick that's guy's --!
Random Kid: Ahem!
J. Severe: Huh? Oh. (clears throat) Now the humorous styles of Klunky the Klown!
Audience: Yaaay!
Random Guy: Boo!
Audience: SHUT UP!
(Klunky the Klown walks on stage)
Klunky: Hey, hey, hey, random ladies and gentleguys! Are you ready to laugh your socks off?
Audience: Yeah!
Random Guy: Wait... (puts on rubber face) Ready!
Klunky: Okay! Heh heh heh heh heh heh! Okay, just a few days ago was Valentine's Day! And I've got a joke for that! How many lovers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Audience: (silence)
Klunky: None! Because they're SO DARN CUPID!
Random Guy: (raises eyebrow)
Klunky: Huh huh. Mmm. Well, I got another one for you. When Chris worked overtime for the holidays, what holiday did he miss?
Audience: (silence)
Klunky: Chris miss! (Christmas)
Random Guy: (cough)
Klunky: Ugh... last joke. What did the hungry aliens say to the human?
Audience: Boo!
Klunky: "Take me to your dinner!"
Random Guy: You stink! (throws soda at Klunky)
Klunky: (ducks) Ah, yer the worst audience ever!
Random Guy: You're the worst CLOWN ever! And the ugliest one too!
Klunky: (storms off stage)
J. Severe: Okay, was that guy horrible or what?
Audience: (silence)
J. Severe: Oh.. Random, help me out here. Random?
Random Kid: (listening on headphones) Fry dat chicken! Fry dat chicken! Fry dat chicken!
J. Severe: Random.
Random Kid: Fry it!
J. Severe: RANDOM!
Random Kid: (takes off headphones) Huh?
J. Severe: What's next?
Random Kid: (checks electronic schedule) The trivia!
===Trivia!===
J. Severe: Folks, I give you some trivia and fun facts about JSW!
Audience: Yay.
J. Severe: Random, roll the captions.
*Joel Severe Wiki is one of the only wikis that write intense and humorous articles & stories without use of curses/swears or inappropiate content (like Uncyclopedia does).
*Joel Severe Wiki was conceived August 17, 2009 at 5:45PM but did not have its official launch until the next day at 6:53PM.
*The creator of Joel Severe Wiki, J. Severe, also does work on Stories and Info Wiki, Kingdom Hearts Wiki, Phineas and Ferb Wiki, and the Phineas and Ferb Fanon Wiki.
*Random Kid is J. Severe's best friend.
*To be fully recognized by Wikia Central, this wiki must have 100-500 articles. It may take a while for JSW to get that many, but it hasn't stopped us yet!
Random Kid: And that's it!
Audience: That's all the trivia?!
Random Kid: Well duh. What were you expecting? This wiki has only been on for 6 months!
J. Severe: Random Kid, don't talk back to the audience.
Random Kid: Please, don't get me started.
J. Severe: Hey, that's coming from a guy who lunged at me with a bloody knife!
Random Kid: Whatever. Remember to see the SIW ¼� Year Anniversary Special on SIW!
J. Severe: Must you advertise your special during MY special?
Random Kid: Hey, you said we were in this together.
J. Severe: Well I say a lot of things. Anyway, the special's almost over. Let's get mad at each other during the commercial.
----
== The Finale: 5 Best Parts of the Special!==
J. Severe: Well folks, the special is over. I'm sure we've all had loads of fun.
Audience: Uh-huh.
Random Kid: Well... good-bye.
J. Severe: We're not leaving yet, Random. We still have the thing we have to do.
Random Kid: The thing?
J. Severe: The thing.
Random Kid: Oh! That thing. OK Dan, bring down the TV!
(Dan slowly lowers flat-screen TV to a few feet above J. Severe and Random Kid)
J. Severe: As a proper closing to this special, we shall broadcast the five best parts of the special, starting with #5.
Random Kid: Yep. And as a special treat, there's a bowl of hot wings under everyone's chair to eat during the videos!
Audience: Whoo-hoo!
J. Severe: Get ready to laugh out loud, folks.
Random Kid: Hit it, Dan!
(Image forms on TV screen)
===Number 5: The Jonas Brothers===
(Start the Party from "Camp Rock" plays).
Random Teen: (comes back) Yo, I gotta pump this jam! (starts dancing)
(Audience starts dancing)
Other Random Teen: (does the moonwalk)
(Smoke suddenly fills the stage. When it clears, the Jonas Brothers are performing!)
J. Severe: What the heck! I didn't tell these foolish celebrities to show up!
Random Kid: I knew you were going to ruin the party with instrumental music, so I decided to call some help.
J. Severe: (is extremely annoyed) You know what Random, just shut up. If anyone needs me, I'll be the kitchen with a bucket of fried chicken.
Random Kid: Wait, J...
J. Severe: Leave me alone, Random. (walks away)
Random Kid: Wait, J! Ugh! Hey, dudes. Can you keep the crowd busy while I go talk to J?
Joe Jonas: Sure man.
Random Kid: (rushes to kitchen)
Nick Jonas: Are y'all ready to ROCK?!
Audience: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!
Kevin Jonas: I'll take that as a yes.
(Random Kid rushes to kitchen where J. Severe sits with a bucket of KFC)
Random Kid: (sits beside J. Severe) What's wrong, buddy?
J. Severe: Random, do you think I'm... not "hip" to what's "new and fresh"?
Random Kid: No. I mean, there's plenty of great classical music nowadays.
J. Severe: I don't know. Everything they like, I hate. And everything I like, they hate.
Random Kid: Listen, it don't matter what they think. You believe what you believe, and no one can tell you twice.
J. Severe: Yeah.. you're right, Random! I'll show them! (marches out to stage)
Jonas Brothers: Start, start, start the party! Come on, come on, everyone! Let's, start, start, start the party!
J. Severe: Shut cho fat mouth, Jonas!
Audience: GASP!
Joe Jonas: This dude is wilin'!
Random Kid: Hey, that's my line.
J. Severe: Listen boys, no offense but... Your services are no longer required. I'll take it from here.
Nick Jonas: Dang, we had Demi Lovato backstage. (walks off stage with his brothers).
J. Severe: Heh heh. That part always cracks me up. Especially the part where I say "Shut cho fat mouth, Jonas!"
Kevin Jonas: You know, we're still here.
J. Severe: Yeah, that's great.
Random Kid: I liked the advice I gave you.
J. Severe: Yes, didn't we all? But this next one is more intense than funny.
===Number 4: Dr. Nacilier's Reign of Terror===
Dr. Nacilier: Shake my hand. Come on boys. Won't cha shake the poor sinner's hand?
(Fancy-looking guy and Servant shake Dr. Nacilier's hand)
Dr. Nacilier: Yeah....
(Room gets darker and ghouls and snakes pop out of nowhere)!
Dr. Nacilier: Are ya ready?!
J. Severe: What the heck is going on?!
Background singers: Are you ready?!
Dr. Nacilier: Are ya... ready? Transformation central!
(Fancy-looking guy is wrapped around by snakes)
Background singers: Transformation central!
Dr. Nacilier: Transmortification central!
Random Kid: Arrest that guy!
J. Severe: (lunges at Dr. Nacilier)
(Ghouls capture J. Severe and drag him away)
J. Severe: Waaaaaaahh!
Dr. Nacilier: (cuts off part of Fancy-looking guy's finger)
Fancy-looking guy: Ow!
Dr. Nacilier: You're changin', you're changin', you're cha-aaaa-nging! I hope you're satisfied! Cuz if you're not, you can blaim my friends on the other side!
(Room is drenched in overflowing green goo!)
Random Kid: Help! Where's J?!
(J. Severe is dragged into a portal)
J. Severe: Help! They're dragging me to "the other side"!
Random Kid: J! (rushes to J. Severe)
J. Severe: Nooooooooooo! (falls into the portal)
Random Kid: (is sucked into the portal) Whoa! This portal's wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiliiiin'!
Dr. Nacilier: (vanishes in a poof; reappears near portal where RK and JS have been sucked in; pulls Random Kid out)
Random Kid: (is pulled out out of portal, along with JS who is holding onto him)
Dr. Nacilier: You foolish ghouls, you're not supposed to take them to our hideout!
J. Severe: Nacilier! (swings at Dr. Nacilier)
Dr. Nacilier: (captures J. Severe in a blue aura) The name's Trick Master. (throws J. Severe across the air)
Random Kid: What are you gonna do?
Dr. Nacilier: (holds up talisman) I've captured the Fancy-looking guy's blood in this charm. Using it, I can transform into him, travel to his home, and inherit the throne!
Random Kid: That's genius. But also devious! You fiend!
(Frog jumps onto Dr. Nacilier's head and puts its hands over his eyes)
Frog: Quick! Grab the talisman!
Random Kid: The frog talked. But I've no time to be dumbfounded! (grabs talisman)
Dr. Nacilier: (grabs Frog; throws it on the floor; steps on it) Gasp! Where's the talisman?!
Random Kid: Lookin' for this?! (holds up talisman)
Dr. Nacilier: NO!
Random Kid: (throws talisman on the floor)
(The talisman breaks into a million pieces. Ghouls reappear, angry at Dr. Nacilier)
Background singers: Are ya ready?!
Dr. Nacilier: No! I'm not ready at all!
(Giant hand emerges from the portal and grabs Dr. Nacilier)
Dr. Nacilier: Wha --?!
(The frog underneath Dr. Nacilier's foot transforms back into the Fancy-looking guy)
Dr. Nacilier: (topples over and falls into the portal) NOOOO!
J. Severe: See ya, Nacilier!
Dr. Nacilier: I prefer to be called "Trick Mastaaaaaaa!"
(Portal closes)
J. Severe: Boy, I was scared out of my wits when that happened. I thought it was all over!
Random Kid: Yeah, I always knew that guy was trouble. Any fool who tempers with bad magic should NOT be in any of our specials.
J. Severe: For once, I agree with ya pal.
===Number 3: The Middle-Aged Guy with Smooth Hair===
J. Severe: Next question. Middle-aged guy with smooth hair.
Middle-Aged Guy With Smooth Hair: Dude, your stories are oh d funny!
J. Severe: "Oh d funny"? Is that some kind of insult?!
Middle-Aged Guy With Smooth Hair: No, it means they are ---.
J. Severe: Shut cho fat mouth, boy! Guards, get this fool out of my house!
Middle-Aged Guy With Smooth Hair: Wait, but I --! (guards start to drag him away) No! You can't do this! I have rights! Waaah!
(Middle-Aged Guy is pulled behind curtains. Gunshots are heard from behind the curtains)
Random Kid: Huh... Next question!
J. Severe: Rich guy with leather jacket!
Rich Guy: You are nothing but a pathetic poor swine.
J. Severe: What the --?! How dare you say that!
Rich Guy: I own this town. I can do whatever I want.
J. Severe: Well you're just a fat, greedy hippopotamus!
Rich Guy: Shut cho fat mouth, kid!
J. Severe: That's it! You're wife is ugly!
Rich Guy's Wife: (cries) How can you say something so hurtful?
Random Kid: Easy. You need to go on Weight Watchers. See how that goes?
(Rich Guy and Rich Guy's Wife walk away, angry at J. Severe)
J. Severe: Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Correction: let the door hit you on the way out. The more pain you feel, the happier I am.
Random Kid: Aren't you being a little mean?
J. Severe: All these people deserve it.
Random Kid: Even the Middle-Aged Guy who was shot to death behind the curtain?
J. Severe: Well, I just didn't like him. He had a creepy smile.
Random Kid: Ha ha ha. That's SO funny! The guy got shot behind the curtain! Whoo ha ha!
J. Severe: Well I didn't even know they killed him until you say it, Random.
Random Kid: I see. Well, here's number 2, comin' at you!
===Number 2: A. Louis's Trash Talk===
Fat Guy: A. Louis, do you like fried chicken strips?
A. Louis: Well, of course... Wait. Fat Albert's calling, he wants his obesity back.
Fat Guy: That hurts!
A. Louis: So does looking at you.
Fat Guy: (runs out door)
A. Louis: I doubt you can fit through the door!
J. Severe: A. Louis, stop chasing my fans away!
A. Louis: I don't have to. Your face is doing that well enough already.
J. Severe: (lunges at A. Louis) Let me at him!
Random Kid: (holds J. Severe back) Stop it, J! You're better than him!
A. Louis: Why? You chicken?
Random Kid: No I am NOT!
A. Louis: Then why won't you use your real name instead of "Random Kid"?
J. Severe: (swings at A. Louis)
A. Louis: Gemme your best shot!
(The S.W.A.T. team comes crashing through the windows)
A. Louis: Oh no, they've found me! (points at J. Severe) You set me up!
(S.W.A.T. officers grab ahold of A. Louis)
S.W.A.T. Officer: You've escaped from rehab. You shall return to prison where you are charged an extra 5 years in captivity.
J. Severe: Ha! I didn't set you up, but it's good to see you looking like a fool in front of the world.
A. Louis: (snarls at J. Severe)
J. Severe: I'm tellin' ya, that cousin is no good!
Random Kid: He's got some nerve! But his dissing was quite humorous.
J. Severe: Yes, yes it was. Well folks, it's the one you're waiting for:...
J. Severe and Random Kid: ...The number 1 best part of the special!
===Number 1: J. Severe vs Random Kid!===
Random Kid: So... are there any cute girls out there? 'Cuz, uh.. I'm single. This calls for a song: All my single ladies. All my single ladies. All my single ladies. Uh, put cha hands up!
(Severals girls in the audience raise their hands)
Random Kid: ''Cause if you liked it, put a ring on it! 'Cause if you liked it, put a ring on it! Wuh uh uh oh oh oh. Wuh uh uh oh oh oh.
J. Severe: What the heck are you doing, Kid?!
Random Kid: I, uh...
J. Severe: Sometimes I just don't know about that boy.
Random Kid: Hey, this is coming from a guy who still sleeps with his teddy bear.
J. Severe: Why'd you say that? When you put something on the internet, it stays there forever!
Random Kid: That's the point.
J. Severe: (swings at Random Kid)
Random Kid: Whoa! (ducks; kicks J. Severe)
J. Severe: (flies through the air and crashes into the wall, leaving a big gaping hole)
Random Kid: (lunges at J. Severe with bloody knife)
J. Severe: (jumps into the air)
Random Kid: (crashes into the wall)
J. Severe: (kicks Random Kid)
(Random Kid and J. Severe brutally strangle each other)
(Gunshots are fired from the audience)
Random Kid: Hey, this dude is wilin'! (ducks on floor)
J. Severe: Dwaaah! (ducks on floor)
Guy In Audience: I came here to see a 1/2 Year Anniversary Special, not an intense brawl!
Random Kid: I suppose he's right. J, you got the letters?
J. Severe: (takes letters out of pocket) Here they are!
(Image on TV fades)
Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
J. Severe: Yeah that was quite a battle.
Random Kid: Yep, you could say that for those few seconds, the wiki duo hated each other's guts!
J. Severe: Uh-huh. Anyway that officially closes the special! I hope you've all enjoyed this as well as we did and I can only wish you nothing but good---.
CRASH!
J. Severe: Please don't tell me that was the flat-screen TV I paid $1000 bucks for.
Random Kid: It wasn't the flat screen TV.
J. Severe: Good I --. (turns around and sees TV smashed on floor) What the --?! I thought you said it wasn't the TV!
Random Kid: But you said to tell you it wasn't the TV.
J. Severe: Random Kid, when we have time, we will discuss the meaning of the word "wasn't."
Random Kid: But --.
J. Severe: Shut up.
----
==Credits==
thumb|right|200px|Song to be played during the credits!
Written by J. Severe
Directed by J.Severe
Produced by Wikia Central
Hosted by J. Severe and Random Kid
===Cast===
Speaking roles:
J. Severe
Random Kid
Audience
A. Louis
Sarah Pickett
Dr. Nacilier
Klunky the Klown
Ashley
Guy in Audience
Random Teen
Other Random Teen
Random Guy
Old Lady
Guy With Mustache
Red-Haired Teenager in the Back
Middle-Aged Guy with Smooth Hair
Rich Guy
Rich's Guy's Wife
Sarah's Mom
Guard
Random Dude
Fat Guy
S.W.A.T. Officer
Reporter Lady
Prince Fancy-Looking Guy
Servant
Guest Stars:
Joe Jonas
Nick Jonas
Kevin Jonas
Mentioned:
Dan
Demi Lovato
Anthony Hewitt
Wilson Daul
Angela Brat
===Songs===
Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It): Written by Beyonce Knowles. Performed by Random Kid.
Simple and Clean: Written by Utada Hikaru. Performed by the KINGDOM Orchestra.
When We're Human: Written by Randy Newman. Performed by Princess Tiana, Prince Naveen, Louis the Alligator
It's Terror Time Again!: Performed by Skycycle.
Night of Fate: Music from the video game, Kingdom Hearts.
Copyright MMX by the JS Company
In Association with Wikia
----
==Aftermath==
(Members of the audience are walking out of the house)
J. Severe: Hi. Bye. Hi. Bye.
Random Kid: Don't forget to pick up a Blu-Ray copy of the special at the checkout desk.
J. Severe: Oh, and try to take home as much food as you can. I don't want any leftovers.
(J. Severe and Random Kid look around room and see loads of trash and ribbons all over)
J. Severe: This is gonna take a long time to clean up.
Random Kid: Well, I've got to go prepare for my special. See ya! (jumps out window)
J. Severe: Looks like I'm a one-man band yet again. Well, it can't get any worse.
(Mom and Dad BUST into the room)
Mom: Hello J, we're --- AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Dad: What the heck did you do to the living room?!
J. Severe: Like I said, I'm SO grounded.
===Da Poll!===
<poll> 
What is your opinion of this special?
I liked it, it was funny.
I hated it, it stinks!
I loved it, I just want to kiss it! (O_O)
The SIW special was better/This was worse than the SIW special!
I'm gravely disappointed.
I hate you all!
You're a fool!
I like eggs!
</poll>
Category:Stories
Category:Specials