Orlando the UwU-est Ghost

Orlando the Ghost (a.k.a Olando Boo-m/Gloom/Tomb, depending on what ID he's using to escape from the local authorities or the IRS) is The House's resident spooky spectre.
According to an anonymous tipster, the spirit first manifested late one night during the informant's rounds in the Bathroom. The individual explained they had picked up an unscheduled night shift guarding the toilet and logging any/all uses by house guests, since they needed money for a PSNotARouter5. During their lunch break in a nearby web, the anonymous source reported that the apparition rose from the toilet's water tank, unleashing a blood-curdling howl that sent chills up the observers eight legs. After approximately 12 minutes, the spirit grew bored, and began stuff blocks of nearby cheese into the plumbing before washing their hands and floating away. These event would repeat sporadically over the next few days. The informant claimed that they were only protected due to the phantasm's weakness to the ancient rite of RockMelon, as all supernatural entities are.
House owner Balogna Krakatoa was unavailable for comment, as he was too busy procrastinating and complaining about his phone to anyone who was unfortunate enough to walk by.
On June 10th, in the Year of our Pwesidente 2020, during an archeological excavation of the House's bathroom by the local university, scientists found records from the House's original designers, noting that the foundation was built upon an ancient Indian Septic Tank. Further research noted that it was also the burial site of an "Orlando Ghostbergenstein", a young lad orphaned by his parents but soon adopted by self-proclaimed philanthropist and humble business owner, Jeff Bezos. Despite PR claims, rumors swirled that Orlando was forced to work in one of Bezos' warehouses, fighting for scraps against his fellow orphans, barely able to make a single Poob.
One day, during a government-mandated bathroom break, Orlando was crushed by a freak package accident while shidding like a maniac. Bezos, technically the legal guardian, but not wanting to actually pay for a grave since he worked hard for all those billion dollars he has, tossed the crushed body in the septic tank before tweeting about "thoughts and prayers" or some other stupid fake sympathy garbage. 
Since that day, Orlando swore vengeance against any and all package delivery services and those who work for them. Eventually. When he feels like it, he's got his own life y'know, don't rush him.
When not swearing vengeance to Jeff Bezos in the bathroom, Orlando enjoy long floats on the beach, gaming on his SouljaWatch, or spending time in the attic with Bumbles watching the newest cutting edge LaserDisk.