Helga Morkilanner

==Stats==
===Mark Tracker===
Marks: 0-21
Afflictions: (List of Afflictions resulting from every third mark above.)
===Advances===
*Siege Engine Workshop
==Significant relationships==
==Background==
A Tale of Helga’s Hammers
Mordenkrad: Vanbjodr (van-beeyo-dur, hope bringer in Giant
Oh, this big boy eh? Gah, this is one hell of a story...Another day, I think.
Hammer
Do you know how we do things up north? We fight things; sometimes, we kill things, sometimes we’re killed. When our time’s up though, it’s gotta be with a weapon in your hand, or, in my case, a hammer. My elder sister realised I liked hitting things with other things early on. This in itself wasn’t a strange thing to do up north; in fact, it’s considered a good thing. What was more unusual was how good I was at throwing things. When I could kill a lowland wolf at 10 paces with nothing but a stone (Well, boulder), she realised I needed something a little more useful. So she gave me a hammer. Nothin’ special about it. Just a lump of rock tied to a thick stick. But that’s why I like it. It knows what it is. It’s a hammer. You hit things with it.
Resounding Hammer: Slok (thud in giant)
This is Slok. What do you mean, “Funny name”?! I’ll have you know that me and Jarn thought about that name for days! Jarn’s a friend of mine, back up the mountains. Lost his dad he did, good age to lose him though. Fourteen he was, and went and took over the Blacksmith. Ah, we used to tussle back in the day; he was a year older than me, so he’d sometimes he’d get the better of me. Rarely though...Still! A good run for my money, I’ll give him that! Anyway, I was leaving town when he gave me this. Dunno why...Might be so I’d go easy on him the next time we sparred. If that was the case, it didn’t work. The name? Oh, yes! The name! It means “Thud”. What. You laughing at me you pansy southerner? What else would you call a hammer like this? Laugh one more time, and I’ll show you why it’s called “Thud”...
Frost hammer
Oh, this one? Nice and shiney, isn’t it? Don’t touch it though! Bloody cold. Moonshine licked it once, couldn’t get it off her for days. She learnt quick after that! Anyway, one day, I was really bored. So I went looking for trouble, and may have found something a bit more interesting than I had intended to; a blizzard of Ice-elementals! That was a tough fight, I’ll tell you that. Never been colder. Still, always good to have a bit of exercise, and really, do you think they would be able to kill me? Don’t look at me like that; the answers ‘no, of course not’! Do I need to show you Slok again? Good. Anyway, took back some of the snow they left behind when I beat ‘em, and Jarn turned it into something good!
Pinning Hammer
This? It’s just a Climbing hammer. It breaks rocks, it breaks bones. And, if you use the pointy end, you can stick it in ‘em! Stops ‘em from moving around and such. Doesn’t stop the squirming though, or the screaming. That takes another hammer...Or Moonshine.
Point-Blank Hammer
Another small one; picked this one up in a tavern at the foot of the mountains, on my way to see the world! Some blacksmith left it on the table, and started talkin’ about Goliaths. Didn’t like his tone; said we were all aggressive, noisy drunkards with no civilisation and no culture! So I picked up his hammer, and showed him some proper culture. Left with it too. Wasn’t gonna leave such a pretty thing with him now, was I?
Hammer of Parrying
I started movin’ south from the mountains, and into the dark plains. It was flat; not my kind of place to be honest. Still, I learned some good tips about fighting down there. I mean, before I spotted some swordsmen duelling in a back-alley, I hadn’t even considered that weapons could hit each other. Tried it out on the next bandit that crossed my path, it worked a charm! Though I had to work on it...First time I tried it, I shattered his sword. Pansy steel for a pansy southerner. Anyway, I kept heading south, and further practiced this technique as I went.
Speaking of pansy rubbish, want a “duel”? I think I’m getting the hang of it...Honest...
Hammer of Shared Wrath
It’s harsh out in the wild, especially in the dead-wastes. I don’t deal well with heat, and that seemed to be the only thing of any worth out there. Was a weird place. Everyone seemed to worship one god or another, and I couldn’t see why! They’re all dead anyway. Still, it was me and Moonshine out in the sands, when the dead decided they didn’t like staying that way. I must hammered out a dozen of them, but I wasn’t as good then as I was now, and somehow one of them got a cut on me. Moonshine wasn’t havin’ any of that though. Tore them to pieces. ‘ard as nails, that one, takes a lot to hurt a mountainbear. Took one of the Skeleton’s hammers as a keepsake; always makes me smile when I get it out. Enemies...Less so.
Flamburst Hammer
Ahh well this one, this is the sister to the Frost Hammer. Picked up some fire that refused to go out back in the Dead-wastes. To be honest, I thought it was a bit annoying to start with; kept setting things on fire. Still, figured it’d be useful when I got back home. Good thing I did, too! Jarn’s good with this kind of stuff, and managed to cram it into this hammer he made. Now it explodes. Cool, eh? Moonshine doesn’t like this one as much though; burned ‘er eyebrows off first time I used it. Along with a small forest. Don’t give me that look, I got the hang of it now! More or less...
Aura-killer
I have to admit, I was happy to see the back of the Dead wastes; the Broken lands are much more my kinda place anyway. There are hills there! No goats though; moonshine was upset. Likes a good goat run she does. Anyway! There I was, minding my business in the tavern, when the lights all go dark. I leave my beer – if you can call it that, certainly wasn’t getting me drunk – and go outside. Lookin’ back at me, there’s some big shadow with eyes, blowin’ holes in houses! The guys around me start chokin’ to death on the shadow itself, an I’m not feelin’ too healthy either. I reach for my belt, and the only hammer I have is my sisters hammer, and I sure as hell ain’t throwin’ that into a shadow-beast. I mean, what if it doesn’t come back? Doesn’t bear thinking about. Speaking of bears, I look for a weapon, and there’s Moonshine, dragging a table-leg behind her. She always knows what to do when there’s a fight. Picking it up, I hurl it at the shadows really, really hard, and the next thing I know, the darkness is gone, leavin’ just some dust behind. Coward, hiding behind the shadow. Wouldn’t dare give me a proper fight. Kept the table leg though. Bloody ‘ard.
Distance Hammer
Don’t like them Feywilds very much. Filled with flowery wierdos who chant words from books, and make stuff happen from nothing. Still, none of them could smash rocks like me, even with their unnatural magicks. Still, I even managed to learn something from these guys. They taught me subtl-...Sub-..Sultl- ...Sneaky stuff. They said I could learn to use cover and stuff, and tried to show me by hiding behind trees. So they gave me some Hammer that was made of really light stuff. I quickly learned how to deal with hiding elfies. If you throw a light hammer REALLY hard, then it goes REALLY far, and you can hit things that are hiding behind trees! That said, there really weren’t much of the trees after I was done. Lots of hammer shaped holes...Still don’t understand this “cover” thing. Didn’t help ‘em much.
Hammer of Great Opportunity
This is my kneecapping hammer. It’s not as big as the others, perhaps only boulder-sized, but people don’t see it coming. As much. Anyway, seems to work; I use it to smack ‘em when they don’t see me coming. Might be small, but it’s still enough to knock out a goat, or, well, kneecap a sneaky bloke who thinks he’s better than me. No-one’s better than me...Well...Maybe Dargan...Or Moonshine. But they ain’t sneaky.
Radiant Hammer
Y’see, Helga means somethin’ back where I’m from, though you’d never guess what. Means “Blessed”, it does. Dad thought it was a good joke, though ‘e wasn’t the one having to live with the name. Still, sometimes I wonder if there’s somethin’ more than just a name about it. Y’see, me and a few friends went to explore some old temple. Our gods are gone, but their places of worship remain. 
We fought our way through the scum that had made it their home, but at the altar was some being more vile than I’d ever looked at before; a Vanir Angel. Just lookin’ at it made me more angry than I’d ever felt. Still, it was a long fight, and over the course of it I lost my hammers, all knocked aside, or caught by the bloody angel. With nothin’ left to fight with, I just grabbed the closest thing next to me, and hurled it at the angel. Seemed to do the trick; in a burst of light, it just...Well, exploded. Turns out I’d thrown some holy relic or something. I don’t really know the details, but I was mocked for days for having a “Blessed throwing arm”. Still, I must say it had a nice weight to it, so I tied it to a stick, and here it is.
You’re giving me that look. Yes, that look. The one saying “Tha’s no hammer, that’s a statue”! Well, you’re wrong. What’s a hammer made of? Stone, metal and wood. What’s this made of? Stone, metal and wood. I don’t care if the stones are precious, it’s my bloody hammer!
Rousing Hammer
So, we’re finally getting to the end of my collection. Over the last couple o’ years, I’ve been trainin’ to be a general, fighting for god-cursed, guts and glory. This hammer’s from the armoury, and I ‘ave to admit, I quite like it, despite bein’ southern. Nice and heavy. Anyway, I’ve been learning how to make the troops hit things harder, and I’ve discovered various ways to get ‘em back on their feet. Like “What are you doin’ on the floor! The floors too ‘ard for you!”, or “Do you want to fight me instead! Go on, I dare you!”. The soldiers tend to react well to these; personally, I think I’m quite friendly to them. I always go down to the camp, and drink with tha’ men to keep ‘em in high spirits. That said, they really cannot handle spirits...
Moonshine:
Okay, I did try an’ throw Moonshine once. She bit me afterwards. I don’t throw Moonshine anymore.
Category:Characters
Category:Generals