Yeeepic Rap Battles

== Raven Baxter vs Shulk ==
=== Raven Baxter ===
I received a vision that at some point in my life
I would have to expose this impersonator Cloud Strife!
You can't raise a blade to this funny fashionista
Because when Raven's raving, she spits sass that'll beat ya
=== Shulk ===
Throwing coordinated attacks, I get Monado Artistic
You'll be backstabbed and Back Slashed. Your win's not realistic
You're an overdramatic diva with being annoying as a passion
You Don't Have a Cow. A whole herd of cattle describes your reactions!
=== Raven Baxter ===
Inheriting from my grandma, I'm a natural born psychic
While your visions were handed to you when you picked up a stick!
How's it feel to know your life was a lie? I know it stings
Getting cast aside when Zanza was done pulling your strings!
Your whole species is redundant. It'll put you to shame
Knowing you're an offshoot of humans with a fancier name
Here's the deal. When Raven's Home, you won't be able to Light Heal
No need for a vision. I'll make a future I feel's ideal
You'll be a meal on my dad's menu after I get the kill
Going through the heat and cold, this sucker's getting Chill Grilled!
I'll beat you in an oh snap, because my Battle Soul's the best
You're a soft, slow fool in a Marty McFly vest
=== Shulk ===
Your precognition is a plague that affects the way you live
You cause what you try to prevent. Your whole world's counterproductive!
With guidance from Alvis, my foresight makes me a savior
While you carry on your back your foresight's misbehavior
From Orlando to Kyle, you've got criminals in your herd
Looks like this Raven here's been flocking with jailbirds!
I'm a Monado Buster when I use my abilities
When you hide with your disguises, you hide from responsibility!
You'll really feel the Monado Cyclone when I storm in
Your rapping's wonky, like your acrobatics performance
If you weren't here, a perfect world is what I'd finally make
I won't be blaming Miss Patterson when I take this cake
=== Raven Baxter ===
You're hit with constant surprises as your story thickens
And now you're getting deep fried like my mom's chicken
This Bionis boy brings no bars, but I didn't believe he would
He must've thrown them in the trash, along with his godhood
=== Shulk ===
You divorced Devon when your relationship turned to rubble
And he left you with twins to take care of. Double trouble
I'm sure you threw a big fit. And I won't miss this diss
I'm made up of ether. You're made of obnoxiousness!
== Charles Dickens vs Mark Twain ==
=== Mark Twain ===
Looks like Christmas came early this year. But I'm gonna get naughty
And throw you into the river, near which life taught me
To take all my experiences and put them into writing
But I can't have a Life on the Mississippi, when your tones leave me dying!
Getting sent to work in the factory was a major issue
But you didn't have to make us all suffer with you!
Even adults enjoy Tom Sawyer's adventures as a boy
I employ my stories to unlock their memories of joy
You delivered a gist of crime in your Oliver Twist
Was your daddy's debt evasion an inspiration for this?
You came out with the Daily News and tried to left-wing it
But the only notable story was how you failed editing it!
To end your stories of death and violence, I'm here to save the day
Hemming together all American literature, I pave the way
You're not even worth a Nickleby. Your career's getting dismembered
Because you only have value in the month of December
=== Charles Dickens ===
This must be another of Tom Sawyer's pitiful pranks
Pretend to be a pirate, but it'll be real when you walk the plank
I'll give you enough Hard Times to turn this into a Bleak House
A tale of two writers will end when this one's neck bleeds out!
You've gone through so many pen names, cause none of them were working
It's nice to meet you, W. Epaminondas Adrastus Perkins!
There's no reason to look inside this humorist's joke books
You couldn't get anything on your hook if you took your boat into a brook!
Ten years of childhood sickness, and you somehow stayed alive
Why didn't you teach your daughters about how to survive?
After this verse of sick lines, this boatman will take a dive
With my Household Words, my rapping's able to thrive
What happened to your publishing company was funny
Guess I'm the only Charles here that didn't lose all its money
I'll take the Hannibal violence you witnessed and put it on a page
Like my works in every theatre, I'm taking the stage
=== Mark Twain ===
Get your eyes off Maria Beadnell. Don't get your career off track
Or it will become a corpse left behind, like the Ghost of Christmas Past
Had an affair, and your relationship with your wife started burning
Cause you met the young Ellen, and your wheels started Ternan!
Huckleberry and Tom filled imaginations with wonder
All your joy was left in The Frozen Deep, twelve feet under
This dismal man can't beat me, but he sure can wish
I'd tell you to brighten up, but the light might make you vanish!
=== Charles Dickens ===
Travel around, but you'll be Roughing It when you find Dickens
You look like you're trying to sell me some Missouri Fried Chicken!
I'd be jealous you went to Whittier's birthday dinner, but it's blatant
How the only thing you ate was Holmes' and Longfellow's patience!
Our Mutual Friend is this beat, on which I'm meeting Great Expectations
Unlike your Calaveras frog, you won't be getting a celebration
I blow up when I get hot, like your brother's boiler explosion
You're a joke to the society I make sure is awoken!
== Nikki and Brie Bella vs Serena and Venus Williams ==
 Nikki | Brie 
 Serena | Venus
===Nikki and Brie Bella===
Put your rackets down, cause we're going hand-to-hand
Thought you wouldn't lose after Sharapova, but turns out you still can
We're working with that Twin Magic, cause we're teamwork proponents
But as history proves, you're each other's best opponents!
You're the biggest sibling rivalry in sports
So pass retorts at each other from across the court!
Even while pregnant, you were still hitting the ball
Every step you took should've gotten you a foot fault!
You didn't even get to make your own career plans
Cause your dad's the one who forced the rackets into your hands
We'll slip under the net and attack from below
Don't focus on the ball. Focus on where our fists will go!
===Serena and Venus Williams===
Come on! You can't Drop the Mic after that rapping
You bring less muscle in one match than I do in one swing!
Our dad put us on the throne, even though he was the king
Yours never came back into your wrestling ring!
== Daniel LaBelle vs Khaby Lame ==
=== Daniel LaBelle ===
I'll adjust my comedy, cause I prefer to mock physically
But today, I'll show how people get dissed rhythmically!
You're a vacuum that sucks away any creativity
Only the simpleminded prefer your simplicity
Who are you to say how cutting fruit should be done?
When you peeled your banana, you peeled away all the fun
I'm like the fourth Stooge, so put me with the Howards
With all the comedy I can jam pack in an hour
Try wearing shame the next time you show how to put on clothes
Cause you're the only hack that needs to be exposed
...
When you order fast laughs, I'm there to ring LaBelle
=== Khaby Lame ===
So YouTube shorts were polluted by this?
Surely you can do better than flopping around like a fish
I don't need to see how different types of people move their feet
Just show me how a loser walks down the street
I'm restoring common sense in my neverending race
But you never had any of that in the first place
Your ridiculous exaggerations won't get a pass
Making a great verse in a moment, call that 5 Minute Crafts
I'm on Italia's Got Talent, so I have a right to judge
All that dashing around your house turned your brain to fudge!
People vs cartoons? The cartoons would give you pity
You even rope your own wife into your stupidity!
=== Daniel LaBelle ===
jester
just her
gesture
conjecture
=== Khaby Lame ===
...
Daniel Libel
...
athleticism goes to waste
=== ProZD ===
== Jeff Probst vs Gilligan ==
=== Jeff Probst ===
Come on in, so you can face today's challenge
But with no footing in this battle, you'll be way off balance
I manage 18 contestants each season. I can deal with one simpleton
I'm the only finalist here. No winner's seat you'll be sitting in
Your show's cheesiness comes in layers 
What your fans don't eat up, you should feed to my players
You're coconuts, Gilligan. Just what's up with that?
I'll smack your rhymes down like a blow from Skipper's hat
Any team you're on will never know success
They'll come close to grabbing gold, but end up with much less
Cause of this exotic new species: The annoying island pest
You're the reason your show's one long call of distress!
We don't need cartoon spinoffs to still stay popping
Basketball teams? Survivor does plenty of globe trotting!
You followed Feldman the wrong way. You have nothing to admire
Can't even snuff your torch when you never had fire
=== Gilligan ===
I tried to watch your show, but it was convoluted at its core
I set sail that day for a one hour bore
Your contestants solve puzzles, stack blocks and have races
The most challenging thing you do is spout the same catchphrases!
In terms of outdoorsmanship, this first mate is first
While the host with the least can't even survive this verse
You starve the players for entertainment, and what's more
You invite them at the end of the day to campfires...without s'mores
=== Jeff Probst ===
A millionaire, a movie star, you're nothing compared to these folks
They're the head of the show. You're the butt of the joke
It's easy to outwit when your brain's the size of a minnow
Gilligan's Planet already threw your logic out a spaceship window
My bars are like an obstacle course you can't complete
A mighty sailing man, yet you still can't navigate this beat
This wasn't the experience of a lifetime. Just a memory passing
But of course the first mate wouldn't know about outlasting
=== Gilligan ===
As far as managing your game goes, I have a tip
Stop all the twists and tossups. You're probably what sank our ship
You encourage lies and deception, and reward them for this?
Only thing the sole survivor should earn is a slap on the wrist
Having dealt with all kinds of dangerous villains and fauna
I'd make your show look easy. I'd have a harder time on Total Drama
Holding on for 40 seasons? You're too old for this, I'm thinking
Yet you continue for no reason. You're on the Edge of Extinction!
A valuable member of my team, I provide for all my friends 
While everyone turned into phantoms trying to watch Ghost Island!
You're out of fuel like our jetpack. Don't keep trying to vent
You lost your spark. I should be tossing you the flint
I've already mastered your so-called social game
With all of my blunders, I'm forgiven the next day
Sitcom history was made down on Gilligan's isle
An unstoppable inspiration, call it an immunity idol
== Athena Asamiya vs Jean Grey ==
=== Athena Asamiya ===
Athena ikimasu! I'm a psychic powered boss
Gotta keep the crowd cheering. Can't give my fans a loss
Is this Jean I'm talking to, or is the Phoenix in town?
Cause I know it likes to use your body as its birdhouse
My mind and body are coordinated when I train, I'll have you know it
I'm directing this concert. You can't control it!
This Psycho Soldier's declaring verbal war and I mean it
I'll do a Shining Crystal Bit and light up this Dark Phoenix
=== Jean Grey ===
Psycho is right, cause your whole moveset is wack
Psycho Teleport away, and then never come back
Ignoring Sie's feelings for you is just rough
How many times are you gonna make the dragon huff? 
Physical and mental manipulation is my turf 
You create Psycho Balls. The ball I control is the Earth! 
You try to be all showy, sparkling and shining like pearls 
But it'll only ever be impressive to your fangirls 
=== Athena Asamiya ===
With Cable and Rachel, your lineage has no formality
A confusing family tree is your alternate reality
=== Jean Grey ===
I'll enter your mind and force you to be tame
You're just the Lady Gaga of fighting games
=== Athena Asamiya ===
Your separation from Cyclops only grew and grew
He even married your clone Pryor to marrying you!
When Athena's on stage, she'll give a show like you've never seen
And you'll regress more than when you turned back to a teen
I really don't like to scare or bring frowns
But when you lose, you'll be pale. A White Phoenix with no crown
But you'll still have worth. Your deaths are never in vain
All the morticians will thank you for helping them make bank!
=== Jean Grey ===
The potential the Phoenix gave me was real stuff
Your only hope of matching it was a Dr. Seuss power-up
From the beginning, I've been psychically supporting my team
You could never do the same for your own Super Heroines
I'll absorb your mental power before you can think
And show you what happens when the Grey becomes pink
Descended from a goddess, but you're far from divine
Looks like the Psycho Soldier died on the frontlines
== Kenshiro vs Yor Forger ==
=== Kenshiro ===
After apocalyptic war, the whole world was shook
Still not as bad a disaster as the food that you cook
=== Yor Forger ===
This brutish jock is somebody to loathe
Maybe Max is mad because you stole his clothes
When I'm on the mic ballin', nobody can dodge me
Especially not this Hokuto doing hokey karate
You and your peers learned fighting styles, but just went after each other's heads
You weren't brothers by blood. You were brothers by bloodshed!
There should be enough room in space for more than one man
You, the sole North Star successor? That's more of a waste than your land!
=== Kenshiro ===
Go back into your wife persona and hide
Because princess, you're nothing but a thorn in my side
=== Yor Forger ===
...
your chance of winning was already dead
== Seth MacFarlane vs Hayao Miyazaki ==
=== Seth MacFarlane ===
When you compare our animation, mine will achieve domination
...
This'll end like the time you
(Cutaway gag with MacFarlane and Miyazaki acknowledging one of the latter's mistakes.)
...
My soul just can't get into your movies, okay?
Every time I try to watch one, I get Spirited Away
There's no shock or edge. Just castles filled with boredom
And your...is the peak of dorkdom!
You're a grumpy Yubaba who never made any magic
Why so upset?
My Klaus will beat your Ponyo.
...
we won't be needing them
You'll never be on top. That's why you hate your own medium
...
Unlucky for Goro, you weren't much of a Family Guy
=== Hayao Miyazaki ===
You just ripped off The Simpsons, and added farts and turds
I've never seen a bigger thief, and I did Lupin the Third
...
The heron is the only bird here that's the word
...
If not for a hangover, you would've had a life over
Raps shot straight like an arrow like Mononoke
beat by this bozo? No way!
=== Seth MacFarlane ===
Hey hey, Miya-sucky
...
Unlike Johnny, I won't be giving you a Bravo
...
I carry adult animation like I'm the Catbus
...
you're the Meg
We're still waiting for the release of My Neighbor Craig
=== Hayao Miyazaki ===
...
from my fat troll to yours
Cartoons have fallen, and it's all at your behest
A million ways for animation to die in the west