Alderney

Alderney (born 1959) is an English Womble cook and business owner who served as the self-proclaimed Queen of Wimbledon Common for less than a day on the 20th October 1998. From 2004 until its closure in 2020, she was the owner of Alderney’s Cafe, an establishment infamous for its poisonous, dangerous, inedible and often fatal food, most notably Alderney’s Soup, a soup containing a number of harmful ingredients, including arsenic, cyanide, raw sewage, biohazards, shaped instruments, radioactive materials and the remains of deceased animals. Despite contravening all health and safety laws, Alderney’s Cafe was able to remain open until 2020, as multiple world leaders considered it useful as a way to poison their political opponents. It was finally closed in 2020 by then-world leader, Charlie (wombat), who had discovered that radiation emitted from Alderney’s Soup had increased the levels of radiation in the surrounding area, endangering citizens’ health. Charlie (wombat) investigated if Alderney was aware of the harmful effects her soup had on animals residing in the local area and discovered through the use of a Brain Scan that she was. Following the relegation that Alderney had knowingly subjected animals to harmful levels of radiation, Charlie (wombat) sentenced her death. She was subsequently executed by hanging. 
Alderney remained dead for around two years, until she was reconstructed in Early 2022. Since her reconstruction, Alderney has received a Food Competency Ray and has become a deputy cook of the Wimbledon Burrow.
Category:1959 Births
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Category:Animals Reconstructed by Jerusalem
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