Death: Coming To A Cemetery Near You!

Conspiracy theorist confirms his death, cable handler gets wrapped up in his work, sky diver meets a volcano, monastery student gets shot down, teen bites the dust, lesbian gets toe nailed, mean actress makes a scene.
AIRED ON: OCTOBER 23, 2016 
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠ 
DANGEROUS 
Death #	Name 	Date 	Location 	Description
200 	U. F. OWNED 	August 3, 2002 	El Segundo, California	A social Darwinist and conspiracy theorist named Josh was always trying to convince people that aliens would invade Earth on August 3rd, 2002. He had no evidence, but that didn't stop him from bothering others about it. One night Josh went out on a field, whipped his camcorder out, and started spewing pseudo-intellectual drivel about how "they" will invade earth. He then saw something glowing in the sky. He was sure that it was a UFO, and he became ecstatic. It came closer and closer toward him, until he realized that it was something else entirely. What Josh thought was a UFO was actually a camera drone. It ran out of battery when filming the night sky, and came hurling down towards Josh. Its blades lacerated his jugular vein and carotid artery, killing him.
136 	HANG-WIRE SITUATION	October 1, 2009 	Chicago, Illinois 	Torin was a mentally challenged video production worker. Working in the control room was too much for him to handle, so he mainly set up the wires and cords for the upper-floor cameras. One day, he brought his GameCube to play Super Monkey Ball. While everyone else was working, Torin was hooking up his system with the wires and cords he was supposed to use for the upper-floor cameras. His boss eventually caught him playing on the job, and the latter ran from him, jumping off the 2nd floor in the process. The wires and cords he was running with acted as a noose as Torin was dangling off of the stadium. He died from strangulation.
875 	SKY DIER 	June 17, 2005 	Asuncion, Paraguay 	After winning $100000 from a game show, a preppy college boy named Kyle went to Paraguay to vlog his skydiving skills to impress his fans. In the helicopter, 10000 feet above ground, Kyle gets ready to skydive next to a nearby volcano. His skydiving instructor told him not to, but Kyle ignored him. When he jumped off, Kyle miscalculated his aiming, and ended up going straight inside the volcano. He died from extreme heat and lack of oxygen.
484 	HAWK-EYE 	May 18, 1263 	London, England 	Bernadetta was a shifty, maladjusted student at a prestigious fighting academy near the outskirts of London. She faked having a disorder that made it difficult to distinguish words properly (a reading disorder that would get coined as "dyslexia" 614 years later) in order to get away with getting good grades, even though she never put in the effort to earn them. She would convince her instructors to change her wrong answers on tests from incorrect to correct, claiming that she simply misread the questions, due to her disorder. One of the students, Sansa, discovered that Bernadetta was in fact able to read properly, because she was spotted writing down text from a book onto a separate sheet of paper. Word got out that Bernadetta was lying about her reading disorder the whole time, and she was soon hassled and chased after by the archery team. They surrounded her outside, and proceeded to shoot arrows at her. Bernadetta bled out profusely, but it was the arrow to the eye that did her in.
131 	LIP LOSS 	December 15, 2009	Redmond, Washington 	Teagan and Maria were two broke strippers who wanted to strike it big in the porno industry. With a camcorder and a bag of gummy bears, Teagan got to work. She always knew that Mariah has a thing for feet, so she placed the gummy bears between her toes for her to eat and lick out of, and started filming her. What Teagan neglected to tell Maria was that she had a bad case of Athlete's Foot in a certain part of her left foot. When she started working her way to that part, Teagan instinctively kicked Maria in the face. Teagan became repentant, but the damage was already done. Not only did the kick to Maria's face hurt, but it wound up to be lethal. Fungal bacteria from where Teagan had Athlete's foot caused Necrotizing Fasciitis to occur in Maria's upper lip, and she died from septic shock.
392 	JAW FAIRY 	July 12, 1997 	Fort Collins, Colorado	High school dropouts Dylan and Jordan were your average pair of stupid, restless, impulsive teenagers. They were always bored out of their minds. One day, the crazier and stupider of the two, Dylan, was so bored that he was willing to undergo excruciatingly painful experiences in order to be stimulated. One of those things included getting his teeth pulled from Jordan's pickup truck. Jordan was weirded out by his brother's behavior, but obliged anyway. He hooked up one of Dylan's front teeth (which had always bothered him anyway) to the truck with a rope, and started driving. After his tooth was pulled out, Dylan wanted to up the ante by having Jordan pulling out more of his front teeth and two bottom teeth. He thought he could always just go online and order fake teeth afterwards. When Jordan drove away this time, Dylan's whole entire jaw was ripped out of its socket. Due to the lack of his jaw, Dylan died from massive blood loss and suffocation.
647 	MAMMARIES OF YOU 	March 28, 2011 	Akron, Ohio 	Sabrina was an ill-tempered actress who looked down upon other performers. She was starring in a play based on the video game Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3. She was playing Aigis, an android who is a member of a shadow slaying organisation called SEES (Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad). She is also a love interest of Makoto Yuki, the protagonist of the game. The problem with that was he was being played by Ben, a friend of Sabrina's ex boyfriend, Alex. When the cameras were rolling, Sabrina was the kind-hearted android, Aigis, but behind the scenes, Sabrina was total bitch who made snide remarks about Alex in front of Ben. In one scene, Aigis was supposed to take off her plate of battle armor and change into something more casual for Makoto. After much convincing, Sabrina finally took it off, and got the surprise of her life and death. A long piece of metal that was lodged into her chest was slowly pulled out as the suit was taken off. She never noticed it, until now. How could that be? Before they started filming that scene, Sabrina decided to apply freeze spray to her body so that she didn't have to feel the uncomfortable Aigis suit rub against her. The numbing effect of the freeze spray made it so Sabrina did not feel the shard of metal penetrate her chest and block an artery near her heart. When she took the suit off, the artery was unblocked, she bled out, and died in minutes.
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