Magic Night (Japanese Isles) (Johnsonverse)

Played at ShowBiz Pizza Place in the Japanese Isles from September to October 2016. A remake of the 1984 Mainland US showtape of the same name with Ho-kago Tea Time replacing the Rock-afire Explosion, this began a recurring story arc that has continued through several ShowBiz Pizza Time showtapes and other media.
==Cast==
=== Skits ===
* Aaron Fechter as Billy Bob Brockali, Looney Bird, Rolfe DeWolfe, Earl Schmerle, and Charlie
* Stephanie Sheh as Yui Hirasawa
* Cristina Valenzuela as Mio Akiyama
* Cassandra Lee Morris as Ritsu Tainaka
* Shelby Lindley as Tsumugi "Mugi" Kotobuki
* Chloe Johnson as Rolfe DeWolfe (screaming in Segment 7)
=== Songs ===
* Aaron Fechter as Billy Bob Brockali and Looney Bird
* Rick Bailey as Yui Hirasawa
* Shalisa Sloan James as Mio Akiyama
* Duke Chauppetta as Ritsu Tainaka
* Burt "Sal" Wilson as Tsumugi "Mugi" Kotobuki
=== Intermissions ===
* Duncan Brannan as Chuck E. Cheese
* Jaret Reddick as Crusty T. Cat
*Karlisa Burleson as Helen Henny
*John Bowen as Mr. Munch
*Jeremy Blaido as Jasper T. Jowls
*Earl Fisher as Pasqually P. Pieplate and Bob Brown
*Annagrey Wiechman as Harmony Howlette
*Scott Wilson as Wolfman Zapp
==Plot==
In Segment 7, Rolfe DeWolfe makes sexist and racist comments following "Puff the Magic Dragon" when Mio breaks down in tears, which leads Ritsu to bolt off of center stage (much to the surprise of startled audiences) and run to Stage Right, where she beats up Rolfe and Earl eggs her on. Afterwards, Ritsu takes Mio backstage to calm her down while Yui and Mugi explain Mio's behavior to Billy Bob and the audience, before the band reassembles and plays "Magic" by Olivia-Newton John, completely forgoing the last segment with "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" (the "Michael Jackson Medley" is eliminated in this version, replaced by the previously cut "Magic Touch"). This showtape was followed by On Strike, which serves as a sequel.
==Transcript==
=== Intermission 1 ===
* (An eight-minute countdown plays, accompanied by "School Days", "Heartaches", and "Baseball".)
===Segment 1===
* (The SPT Feature Presentation intro plays)
* Mugi: Hello, and welcome to Magic Night at ShowBiz Pizza Place. If you're enjoying a delicious pizza, you're bound to enjoy this. See, sometimes we like to put together themes in our shows for continuity. In this case, the theme for tonight's show happens to be magic.
* Ritsu: Didn't the Rock-afire Explosion do this back in '84?
* Mugi: They did, Ritsu, but the bosses want us to do this new version. As you probably know, none of us are certified magicians, so don't expect us to do any of these card tricks or disappearing acts. Or ventriloquism.
* Yui: Isn't Rolfe a ventriloquist?
* Ritsu: No, he only pretends to be one to make money.
* Rolfe: I am a ventriloquist, I swear! Every sound and gesture Earl quote-unquote "makes" comes from me. I spent four years studying ventriloquism in college!
* Earl: Actually, you couldn't even pass middle school, let alone college.
* Rolfe: Then why was I able to find work here?
* Earl: Personal connections! And how much money have you given me over the 30-something years you've used me, geek? Nothing, not one flat dime! I had to take a side job as a solo act to put food on the table, a job that doesn't require anything from the neck down! Meanwhile, you took millions of dollars that should've been mine to begin with over the course of twenty-something years before your quote-unquote "fame" was reduced to a small corner of the internet!
* Rolfe: Shut up, Earl, or I'll give you the saw.
* Mugi: Now, Rolfe, if you're going to humiliate yourself publicly, at least do it without threatening the guy you rely on.
* Rolfe: That-that-that was an empty threat!
* Ritsu: I agree, Earl is the one carrying you and Rolfe's show. He's way too good for you.
* Earl: See, Rolfe? At least some people get it! The only reason I'm still with this guy is because I have no use of anything below my neck! I'd have easily walked away from him if my legs worked! Probably would've punched him, too.
* Rolfe: Well, I guess they secretly have a crush on me. (All of Ho-kago Tea Time looks at him, offended) They build shrines to me using junk in their closets, maybe even whatever I drop or what fur I shed. They would love to kiss me, have my autograph, grovel at my feet.
* Earl: Okay, that does it. Let me know if you ever decide to stop using non-sequiturs. Charlie, close our curtain.
* Billy Bob: Now wait just a minute. We'll need you guys for the medley we're about to do.
* Mugi: Billy Bob's right. Anyway, here's these three songs that kicked off the '84 Magic Night: "Magical Mystery Tour", "Black Magic Woman", and "Magic Carpet Ride". Be sure to listen closely for our subtle and effective use of our magic theme in these songs, all right? Now take it away!
* (The first Magic Medley, consisting of "Magical Mystery Tour", "Black Magic Woman", and "Magic Carpet Ride", is performed by Ho-kago Tea Time with Billy Bob and Earl)
===Video Break 1 (The Crusty Show)===
* (The Crusty Show intro plays)
* Crusty: You're watching the Crusty Show! Ha ha ha.
* (Cut to Crusty's house, then to his study, where he's looking at his phone)
* Crusty: Let's see now... Uh huh. Yeah. (Crusty looks at the camera) Oh, hey, everybody. Welcome to my place. I was just reading emails from my clients. But you can crash around here.
* (Suddenly, Chuck E. walks in)
* Chuck E.: Hey, Crusty!
* Crusty: Ah, Chuck E., you're just in time. I got a great idea that will blow, you, away.
* Chuck E.: What is it?
* Crusty: Well, you see, it's about this Bowling for Fish concert I'm planning, and I was thinking that we oughta make it really cool.
*Chuck E.: I see.
*Crusty: I got this idea on some pyrotechnics for the concert. And some cool lighting too. See, I plan on using fireworks for the big finale. And I want to add a motorcycle stunt, something Evel Knievel would be proud of. Jumping through the HOOP... OF... FIRE!!!!!
*Chuck E.: Oh, cool.
*Crusty: Just one problem: I can't find a suitable assistant willing to do it.
=== Intermission 2 ===
* (An eight-minute countdown plays, accompanied by "TBA", then "TBA", and "TBA")
=== Segment 2 ===
* (The SPT Feature Presentation intro plays)
* Mugi: Welcome back to Magic Night! Now, our next song is called "That Old Black Magic", but first I wanna tell you all a story that comes to mind every time I sing this song, for some reason.
* Yui: Tell us the story then.
* Ritsu: Yeah, tell us, Mugi.
* Mugi: Alright, um, so not long ago, there were these two, uh, very mean witches. Very mean, yeah. And, uh, people would walk up to them and say "Whew! You sure do look mean. I bet you two don't go out on many double dates". Well, those two witches got used to that talk, and kinda liked it actually, ya know, all the attention and all. Well, one day the two witches were snooping all over this village, and--
* Ritsu: Mugi?
* Mugi: Yeah?
* Ritsu: What were their names?
* Yui: Yeah, what were they?
* Mugi: Well, uh, they didn't have names.
* Ritsu: Seriously? Everybody has a name.
* Mugi: Yeah, that's true. But not these witches, not in this story at least. Just the two witches.
* Ritsu: They couldn't have been called just "the two witches". Did you forget their names?
* Mugi: Wanna tell the story, Ritsu?
* Ritsu: Sorry, you can keep going.
* Mugi: Alright, now these two witches, and their names were so scary, by the way, you'd probably scream just hearing them, ooh.... Gives me the chills, ya know? Anyway, these two witches with scary names were snooping around the village when suddenly, they see the farmer's daughter under this big oak tree all by herself.
* Ritsu: Does the farmer's daughter have a name either?
* Mugi: Afraid not. Just the farmer's daughter. 
* Ritsu: Are you sure?
* Mugi: Positive.
* Ritsu: All right then.
* Mio: Actually, Ritsu, Mugi's right. The farmer's daughter has been in other story tales like this one. Common practice among storytellers, like, hundreds of years ago.
* Mugi: Anyway, with that out of the way, when the farmer's daughter saw the two witches she got startled.
* Yui: Will there be a happy ending?
* Mugi: Maybe you'll find out if you let me finish it. Anyway, the farmer's daughter was very startled because she knew the two witches could cast spells on her and that made her nervous. "How come you're sitting by this tree by yourself?", one of the witches asks. "Something wrong?" "Well", replied the farmer's daughter, "actually there is. You see, I'm in love with a handsome young prince, and he doesn't even know my name". 
* Ritsu: That's because she doesn't have a name! How could he know it?
* Mugi: It's just a story, Ritsu.
* Ritsu: You better be building up to something, Mugi, because so far this story's been a total slog.
* Mugi: You'll like the ending, Ritsu, I promise. So will all the people watching out there.
* Ritsu: All right, Mugi, do what you want... I guess.
* Mugi: Thank you. Now those two clever witches could spot someone who needed a magic spell ten miles away, and the farmer's daughter happened to fit that bill. "Would you like to marry a prince?" asked one of the witches. "Of course," the young girl replied, "but that would never happen." "If you can bring us one of your father's fat milking cows," the witch continued, "then we can make sure the handsome young prince marries you the first time he lays eyes on you."
* Yui: Oh, oh, I know how this ends! So the two witches give the farmer's daughter a magic love potion and then she gives it to the young prince to drink. He drinks it, and falls madly in love with her because he's under a spell that can't be broken. That's how it ends, right Mugi? It has to be.
* Ritsu: (to Mio) How did she come up with that? (Mio shrugs)
* Mugi: (beat, very disappointed) Uh... I guess you could say that's one way how it ends.
* Yui: Then please tell us your ending! Go ahead!
* Mugi: Uh, on second thought, maybe your ending is better than mine. I think I'll just go ahead and sing "That Old Black Magic" instead. My story wasn't very good anyway.
* Yui: But there'll be more stories to tell like this, right, Mugi? It was so fun.
* Mugi: Oh, yeah. Very fun.
* (Mio and Mugi sing "That Old Black Magic" by Rod Stewart)
=== Video Break 2 ===
=== Intermission 3 ===
* (An eight-minute countdown plays, accompanied by "TBA", then "TBA", and "TBA")
===Segment 3===
* (The SPT Feature Presentation intro plays)
* Mugi: And welcome back to Magic Night at ShowBiz Pizza Place. Ritsu's about to sing "The Magic Touch" by the Platters.
* Ritsu: Ya know, there's a reason they say I have the magic touch. I mean, they don't call me "Nimble Fingers" for nothing.
* Mugi: Well, I got a letter from the President. He said he wanted a picture of my hands to hang in the Oval Office.
* Mio: You sure? Because my hands were put on the cover of Time and Newsweek.
* (Beat as everyone looks around, then a spotlight shines on Yui)
* Yui: I, uh... got a chance to shake the Pope's hand?
* Ritsu: Hmm.
* Mugi: Not bad.
* (Ritsu sings "The Magic Touch")
=== Video Break 3 ===
=== Intermission 4 ===
* (An eight-minute countdown plays, accompanied by "TBA", then "TBA", and "TBA")
===Segment 4===
* (The SPT Feature Presentation intro plays)
* Billy Bob: Hi, everybody! I hope y'all are enjoying the songs from our magic show 'cause I sure am! Now, back in the original 1984 show with the Rock-afire Explosion, I introduced a segment called "Letters to Looney Bird", where he answered all kinds of questions that people sent in about us here at ShowBiz. And now, it's back by popular demand. So without further delay, here's Looney Bird!
* Looney Bird: Thanks, Billy Bob, for that delightful introduction! It's time now for Letters to Looney Bird, and here we go! Music, please. (Music fades in) And now ShowBiz Pizza Place proudly presents: Letters to Looney Bird: an in-depth look at characters, places... and even other stuff here at ShowBiz. Your host is none other than me, the world-renowned Looney Bird, respected throughout the world for my achievements in science and journalistic reporting, and winner of both a Nobel Prize and a Pulitzer Prize. Please stop the music. (Music stops) And now, tonight's letter, sent in by eight-year-old Emma Waltz of Sacramento. Emma writes: "Dear Looney Bird, I wrote this letter to ask you how you're doing. I wanted to ask you something. TBA? I'm sure you know, but I wanted to ask this question anyway. Love, Emma".
* Billy Bob: That's a very good question, Emma. You see, TBA.
*Looney Bird: Anyway, that's it for this segment of Letters to Looney Bird, so thanks, Emma, and keep the letters coming, people!
*Billy Bob: You did great, Looney Bird. 
*Looney Bird: Thanks.
*Billy Bob: Now to continue Magic Night, Looney and I are gonna sing "Little Arrows".
*(Billy Bob and Looney Bird sing "Little Arrows" from the 1984 Magic Night showtape)
=== Video Break 4 ===
=== Intermission 5 ===
* (An eight-minute countdown plays, accompanied by "TBA", then "TBA", and "TBA")
===Segment 5===
* (The SPT Feature Presentation intro plays)
* Mugi: And now, continuing with our magic theme, Ritsu's got a nice medley of songs for you. Ain't that right, Ritsu?
* Ritsu: Right you are, Mugi. These are "Abracadabra" by Steve Miller and "You Can Do Magic" by America.
* Mio: Hey, how come you get to sing those songs? It's not fair!
* Ritsu: Because Dook sang those songs back in '84 and I'm the drummer. Besides, the corporate suits want me to.
*(Beat, then a spotlight shines on Yui)
* Yui: Welcome to the cutthroat world of fast-food entertainment.
* Ritsu: Huh. Wait a sec, did you steal that from Beach Bear?
* (Ritsu sings "Abracadabra" and "You Can Do Magic")
=== Video Break 5 ===
=== Intermission 6 ===
* (An eight-minute countdown plays, accompanied by "TBA", then "TBA", and "TBA")
=== Segment 6===
* (The SPT Feature Presentation intro plays)
* (Billy Bob and Ho-kago Tea Time perform "Puff the Magic Dragon". During the song, Mio is struggling to keep her composure, clearly faking a grin and keeping her eyes closed several times throughout the performance; this foreshadows the next segment.)
=== Video Break 6 ===
=== Intermission 7 ===
* (An eight-minute countdown plays, accompanied by "TBA", then "TBA", and "TBA")
===Segment 7===
*(The SPT Feature Presentation intro plays)
*Mugi: And now, to continue Magic Night, we're gon--
*(Mio suddenly begins sobbing)
*Mugi: Mio, what's wrong?
*Rolfe: Oh yeah, Mio. Something wrong? Wait, I know. Aren't you scared of being sent to the kitchen? Oh, how 'bout this? Scared of your own life, ya cowardly, hysterical crybaby? Scared of your region getting nuked by the REAL 'Murica again?
*(Ritsu begins shaking in anger while Mio looks at Rolfe, then continues crying; Yui and Mugi also look at Rolfe, shocked)
*Rolfeː How about we go to the dealer and turn these Toyotas, Hondas, Mitsubishis, and Suzukis into rice burners? Because y'all should be putting on a good street race! Better yet, don't be putting on a good street race, 'cause you all are horrible driversǃ You all like to take credit for everything REAL 'Muricans make.
*Mugi: Rolfe, please...
*Rolfe: This is why I use all REAL 'Murican tech, none of this Sony, Toshiba, JVC, or Panasonic bull. All those cheap knockoffs can be dumped into the sea for all I care! As for you four, you are all supposed to be subservient and docile enough to stay in the kitchen at home eating sushi and serving your husbands or boyfriendsǃ But NOOOO. This is why I don't trust anyone with Japo-blood in their veinsǃ ALL OF YOU NEED TO PAY FOR WHAT ALL OF YOU DID TO PEARL HARBOR!
*(Everyone else gasps in shock and looks at Rolfe in anger as Mio cries even more)
*Rolfe: I-I-I was joking, all in good fun! A joke's a joke, right? Heh-heh. Come on, come on, laugh with me!
*Earl: Rolfe DeWolfe! In all the years I've seen you insulting and bullying people, never have I heard such offensive insults to anybody in my life! I always knew you were a rotten, egotistical geek with a horrifically bad sense of humor; seriously, only Pasqually has worse excuses of "humor" - note how I use that term loosely - than you do, but I didn't know you could sink this low!
* Rolfe: Ha ha ha. Very funny, Earl.
*Earl: You're worse than I thought! You know what? You're not a geek.
*Rolfe: Really, Earl?
*Earl: Nope, you're a CHEAT! You've been hoggin' my royalties for years and I just took it. You've INSULTED good people for who knows how long, and again, I just took it. And now that you've insulted Mio WHILE SHE'S STILL CRYING, no less, I'm not going to sit here on your hand, AND TAKE THIS ANYMORE! You know what, you know what? I got a good idea. Ritsu! Sic 'im! Come on, make 'im pay! LET IT ALL OUUUUUTTTTT!
*(Ritsu continues shaking as Earl convinces her to beat Rolfe up, then finally screams in a fit of rage. She gets off her drums, looks around and runs behind the Center Stage curtain as Rolfe panics)
*Rolfe: Come on, Charlie! Close my curtain! CLOSE IT RIGHT NOW, I'M BEGGING YOU!
*Charlie (o/s): No thank you, pal.
* (Ritsu runs off to Stage Right and begins beating Rolfe up as the curtains open. Rolfe sobs hysterically)
* Earl: Punch that sucker!
*Rolfe: (sobbing) Why are you doing this to me? I never hurt you!
*Earl: Yeah, right.
*Ritsu: THIS ONE'S FOR MIO!
*(Ritsu punches Rolfe in the head)
*Rolfe: Ow!
*Earl: Yeah, go!
*Ritsu: THIS ONE'S FOR JAPAN!
*(Ritsu punches Rolfe again, in the stomach)
*Rolfe: Ah!
*Ritsu: AND THIS ONE'S... just because I CAN!
*(Ritsu punches Rolfe in the crotch as Earl laughs, causing Rolfe to give an especially high-pitched scream for male standards [technically Chloe Johnson's scream], which suddenly goes even higher, sounding chipmunk-like)
*Rolfe: (with a high-pitched voice; his voice also cracks during this part) Please, Ritsu, stop it! (Rolfe sobs for a few seconds as his voice goes back to normal) Earl, please help me! We've been through so much together. You'd help old Rolfie, wouldn't you? (in angrier tone) Wouldn't you?
* Earl: Don't you try and guilt-trip me, you hack! I've been waitin' a long time for this! FINISH 'IM, RITSU!
*(Ritsu finishes off Rolfe, who is badly injured and groaning, by punching him in the rear end, causing Rolfe to emit a longer scream. She silently gets back up and takes Mio backstage, with Yui and Mugi looking on in shock, then at Rolfe in anger)
*Rolfe: (coughs) Earl...
*Earl: That's what you get, DeWolfe. (spits)
*Billy Bob: (chuckles) Um, we're having some issues at the moment. Please keep eating or go to the arcade until we get back on. Thank you.
*(As the curtains close, the Cyberstar monitors cut to a "Please Stand By" card as the curtains close; it parodies RCA's Indian-head test pattern, with Billy Bob's head in place of the Indian)
=== Video Break 7 (CEC TV News) ===
* (The segment begins with the CEC TV intro, then cuts to Chuck E. at a news desk in puppet form)
*Zapp: And now, spanning the globe...
*Chuck E.: Shoot, I forgot my shoes. Oh well.
*(Cut to the CEC TV News intro)
* Zapp: It's time for CEC TV News! Featuring newshound Jasper T. Jowls, plucky reporter Helen Henny, sporty howler Harmony Howlette, foreign correspondent Pasqually P. Pieplate...
* Pasqually: Ciao! Heh heh!
* Announcer: ...and Mr. Munch, taking care of the leftovers.
* Mr. Munch: Did somebody say "chow"?
* Announcer: Take it away, Chuck E. and Crusty!
*(Cut back to Chuck E. and Crusty)
*Chuck E.: Thanks, Wolfman Zapp! Hello, everybody, and welcome to CEC TV News!
*Crusty: Can you believe what just happened, people?
*Chuck E.: Tell me about it.
*(Cut to Chuck E. with a graphic saying "SEXIST PIG OF A WOLF ATTACKED!" along with a photo of RItsu attacking Rolfe)
*Chuck E.: Our first story, Rolfe DeWolfe has just been attacked on stage. In this incident which happened just now, Rolfe began spewing racist and sexist insults after Mio Akiyama started crying. Ritsu Tainaka, furious at Rolfe's statements, got up off her chair and attacked him. Neither Mr. DeWolfe nor Ms. Tainaka can be reached for comment at the moment.
*(Cut to Crusty with a graphic saying "COACHES WIN!" along with a photo of the Coaches' logo)
*Crusty: In other news, in an incredible upset, the Cleveland Coaches have won the 50th annual Super Duper Bowl. Here's Harmony Howlette with head player Bob Brown.
*(Cut to Harmony with Bob Brown)
*Harmony: Thanks, Crusty. So Bob, how does it feel to win such a big event?
*Bob: Oh, it feels good, y'know? Coaching them players to the win, and now we finally get a ring.
*Harmony: So tell me about all the times the other players blew it from you.
*Bob: TBA
*Harmony: TBA. Back to you, Chuck.
*(Cut back to Chuck E. with a graphic saying "TBA")
*Chuck E.: In other news, officials have TBA.
=== Intermission 8 ===
* (An eight-minute countdown plays, accompanied by "TBA", then "TBA", and "TBA")
===Segment 8===
*(The SPT Feature Presentation intro plays)
*Billy Bob: Welcome back to Magic Night at ShowBiz Pizza Place. Now, I'd like to apologize for what happened just a few minutes ago. Right now two of our band members are backstage, and Rolfe has been sent to the hospital, where he is being treated--
*Yui: Billy Bob?
*Billy Bob: Yes, Yui?
*Yui: About Mio... Mugi and I know why she broke down.
*Mugi: Yeah, and why Ritsu was so violent. She's never usually like that.
*Billy Bob: Tell me about it, then.
*Yui: Well, Mio has... um, I don't know how to tell you this, but...
*Mugi: Mio has this... insecurity problem. It's that, well, she's had it ever since something bad happened to her that one time. See, (Mio's story will go here). That's what happened.
* Billy Bob: Uh huh.
* Yui: And she has, uh, these emotional issues. 
* Mugi: I always knew Mio was the shy one in our group, but what Rolfe did was uncalled for. All this time we were thinking he would never stoop so low.
* Yui: Or that he'd say all those hurtful things.
* Billy Bob: Well, one thing's for sure: he probably won't be performin' here again. Wouldn't ya say?
* Yui: Oh, no.
* Mugi: Definitely not.
* (Ritsu and Mio walk back in on Center Stage, getting to their seats)
* Ritsu: Hey, guys...
* Billy Bob: Oh hey, Ritsu, you're just in time. We're continuing our show.
* Ritsu: Yeah. Mio and I are much better now. I swear, when I see that wolf again, I'm gonna murder him.
* Billy Bob: Uh, families are watching, Ritsu.
* Ritsu: Point is, that piece of sh--uh, filth, does NOT deserve to ever walk up on this stage again.
*Billy Bob: Anyway, we're gonna do the next song right now. What's that song, Mugi?
*Mugi: Well, the next song on our list is "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic", but I think we should just skip it and go straight to the last song, "Magic".
*(The band murmurs in agreement)
*Ritsu: And I think Mio should sing this one; it's very important to her, and she definitely deserves it.
*Mio: (nodding) Thank you all.
*Mugi: Alright, everybody, one, two, three...
*(Ho-kago Tea Time performs "Magic" by Olivia Newton-John, with Mio doing lead vocals)
=== Video Break 8 ===
== Trivia ==
*Rolfe's high-pitched screams after Ritsu kicks him in the crotch and the rear end in Segment 7 were provided by Chloe Johnson, in order to provide a more girly scream for comedic effect.
*This is the final show to utilize the original four-member setup for the Ho-kago Tea Time Stage, as well as the final Japanese Isles showtape with Rolfe as a regular character on Stage Right; all future shows add Azusa to Center Stage and replace Rolfe with Ui.
==Gallery==
File:showbizpleasestandby.png|The "Please Stand By" card
Category:Johnsonverse
Category:ShowBiz Pizza Time showtapes