CuldeeFell13 and The Hunt For Lamp Head!

CuldeeFell13 and the Hunt For Lamp Head is the # episode of CuldeeFell Shortz Season # and is the first interactive short.
== Script ==
=== START HERE ===
SYNOPSIS - After hearing rumors about a mysterious creature called lamp head roaming the valleys, Culdee and his friends decide to go check if these rumors are true.
GAME - This short is interactive and you can be able to choose what Culdee does and what events happen in the story. Can you get all the endings? Also no skimming through the page or your a p*ssy.
(Culdee, RH, MarioFan and Endless are seen at Culdee's house)
Culdee: Alright guys, are you ready to watch TV?
RH: Sure.
Endless: We got nothing better to do so lets do it.
(Culdee grabs the remote and turns on the TV)
Dr. Finkleshitz: Hello! I am Dr. Fredrick Finkleshitz! And today, we are gonna be discussing the Lamp Head. Now the Lamp Head may seem like a fake rumor to you all, but I assure you that this thing is real. Its not like im coo coo or anything. What? Do I look like a coo coo bird!? COO COO!
Culdee: Woah?
Endless: Lamp head. Sounds interesting.
Culdee: Guys we should go try to find this lamp head?
RH: I dont know man. It might just be fake and we would waste our time.
MarioFan: It sounds like a bunch of baloney.
RH: Lets just change the channel and watch somethin else.
What should Culdee do?
If you choose "Convince the Users to join the search", go to the convince users chapter.
If you choose "Change the Channel", go to the Change Channel Teaser.
=== Change the Channel ===
Culdee: Eh you guys are right. Lets change the channel to something else.
MarioFan: Good idea.
(Culdee raises the remote and switches the channel)
Congrats you got the "Lame Ending".
Culdee and the Users decided that trying to find Lamp Head was a waste of time and decided to watch TV instead. God, you are lame.
=== Convince Users ===
Culdee: Come on guys! It will be fun!
MarioFan: Im telling ya Culdee. Its a waste of time.
RH: Yeah, MF might be right.
Endless: Well I mean we might as well go outside instead of sitting on our butts all the time watching TV.
Culdee: See? Endless gets it!
MarioFan: Ugh. Alright fine. But if we get lost, im blaming it on all of you.
Culdee: So we need to figure out where lamp head is. RH you still got your laptop.
RH: Yes sir.
Culdee: Alright. Lets google for a bit.
(RH gives Culdee his laptop and they start looking up where Lamp Head is)
Culdee: Alright. So the first two results of google say that Lamphead is either at the forest or at the cave.
RH: Well which is it at then?
MarioFan: Maybe at the forest considering its too tall to fit in caves.
Endless: Well maybe it can crawl into the caves and thats where it lays eggs.
RH: It lays eggs?
Endless: Well no but Idk man.
MarioFan: Endless does make a point.
RH: Maybe, but where?
Culdee: Hmmmm?
Where should they go?
If you want to go to the forest, pick "Go to Forest" Chapter
If you want to go to the caves, pick "Go to Caves" Chapter
=== Go to Caves ===
Culdee: I say we go to the caves. Endless is right, caves are a good place for giant cryptid monsters to lay there eggs.
Endless: Terrific. We're going to the caves then.
MarioFan: Very well then. Ill drive us there.
(It then cuts to MarioFan driving the users through rocky areas)
MarioFan: Keep an eye out if you guys see a cave.
Culdee: Alrighty then.
(Culdee looks out the car window)
Culdee: Hmmmm.
MarioFan: See anything yet, Culdee?
Culdee: I dont see...
(Culdee then sees a cave)
Culdee: Oh I see a cave! Stop right there!
(MarioFan parks the car right next to the cave)
Culdee: Alright. This looks like the cave that was on that google result. You guys ready to go in?
RH: Heck yeah!
Endless: Les go!
MarioFan: You guys go on ahead. Ill stay here incase Lamp Head comes around here.
Culdee: Okey dokey. Lets go, boys.
(Culdee, RH, and Endless head into the cave.)
RH: Hopefully we dont get lost in here.
Culdee: We wont get lost RH, cause I got this whole cave covered in my brain. We'll find this Lamp Head creature in no time.
Endless: Aight bet.
Culdee: Very well then.
(Culdee then stops as he sees a crossroad of caves. One cave has light seen through it, another cave is absolutley pitch black)
Culdee: Cross roads. Where to guys?
RH: I thought you said you had this whole cave mapped out in your head?
Culdee: Come on RH, you know you cant believe anything I say.
RH: "sigh" Well I say we go through the light path. Theres no way im going through that pitch black path.
Endless: Whats the matter RH? Too chicken for the pitch black cave?
RH: What? No! I just dont like pitch dark caves. Plus this whole cave is making me kinda claustrophobic.
Endless: What?
Culdee: It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.
RH: That doesnt mean that-
Endless: Ho ho ho!
Culdee: STOP IT ENDLESS! YOUR SCARING HIM!
RH: No he isnt.
Endless: Aw. Well I say we go through the pitch black cave.
RH: Come on Culdee. Make the right decision.
Who should Culdee listen to?
If you agree with Endless, go to "Dark Cave" chapter.
If you agree with RH, go to "Light Cave" chapter.
=== Go to Forest ===
Culdee: Lets go to the forest. MarioFan is right, theres no way a tall creature like that can fit in the caves.
MarioFan: Well glad you agree with me. Alright, lets go to the forest. I would take us by car but i dont want to risk it being scratched by branches .
Endless: I propose we go there via jetpacks.
RH: You have jetpacks?
Endless: What dont I have?
Culdee: A soul?
Endless: Correct.
Culdee: Well what are we waiting for guys? Lets jetpack there!
RH: Alright. Lets go!
(The users run off. It then cuts to the forest. The users fly in via jetpacks)
Culdee: Alright guys. Lets go explore the forest and find this lamp head!
Endless: You guys go on ahead. Im gonna fly around the place with my jetpack if I can see lamp head from above or not.
Culdee: Sounds like a good idea. Good luck Endless.
Endless: I dont need your luck.
Culdee: Fine. No luck for you prick.
Endless: Thank you I try very hard.
(Endless flies off)
Culdee: Alright guys, while Endless is looking for Lamp head from above, lets search around on ground.
RH: Okey dokey then.
MarioFan: Lets get to searching.
Culdee: Very well then!
(Culdee turns around)
Culdee: Onward!
(Culdee and the others walk off. It then cuts to a few hours later. The gang are seen walking around really tired)
RH: Culdee... we've been walking for hours. Can we stop and rest?
Culdee: No time. We must continue walking.
MarioFan: My legs are aching. I just want some rest.
Culdee: We will go home and get some rest after we find Lamp Head.
(MF and RH groan)
MarioFan: Culdee just face it. There is no Lamp head. We're just wasting our time on nothing.
RH: I think I have to agree with MarioFan on this one.
Culdee: "sigh" Come on-
MarioFan: Guys look!
(MarioFan points to a cabin)
MarioFan: A cabin. Thats perfect! We can rest there and after that we can go look for Lamp head.
RH: Thats actually a good idea. What do you think Culdee?
Culdee: Well-
(Culdee then notices giant footprints)
Culdee: Guys look! Footprints! They must be from Lamp Head. And they are heading deeper into the forest. We can follow the prints and then we can find lamp head. Come on guys!
MarioFan: Culdee, NO.
Culdee: ...
MarioFan: We've been walking for hours and no matter what your choice is, we're gonna stay here and rest.
RH: Sorry Culdee but MFs right. Im tired. We're tired. Its either you rest with us or you can find this lamp head by yourself.
MarioFan: Make up your mind Culdee. Its either us, or that stupid creature.
RH: Yeah!
What should be Culdee's decision?
If you want to go to the cabin to rest, go to the "Cabin" chapter.
If you want to go alone, go to the "Go Alone" chapter.
=== Light Cave ===
Culdee: Yeah I agree with RH. I dont like dark small tunnels either.
RH: Thank you!
Endless: You are both delusinal.
Culdee: Lets just get going.
RH: Agreed.
Endless: Fine.
(The three then walk into the light tunnel)
Culdee: I wonder where the light is coming from.
RH: Maybe its from a hole in the cave and the light is coming from the sun.
Endless: Or maybe it might be some weird glowing creature thats not Lamp Head.
Culdee: If its a glow squid, imma kill it.
RH: Why?
Culdee: Because Dream rigged the minecon votes. We could have had the cow.
Endless: The cow?
Culdee: The cow.
Endless: THE COW!?
Culdee: Yes the cow.
Endless: WE COULD HAVE HAD THE COW!?
Culdee: We could have had the cow.
Endless: ER MER GERD!
RH: Can we stop acting like retards and continue walking through this path.
Endless: Yeah Culdee stop acting like a retard.
RH: I was talking to the both of you.
Culdee: Less talking more walking. Lets go.
(The three continue walking until they make it to a dead end)
RH: Ugh great. We're at a dead end.
Culdee: Well I guess the safest thing we can do is turn around.
RH: And go home.
Endless: Or we could go through the dark cave.
RH: We're not doing that. No way no how.
Endless: Fine. Lets go home and watch Rick and Morty or something.
RH: Good idea. Lets go-
(Suddenly an explosion is heard)
RH: W-what was that!?
Endless: "W-what was that!?" It's an explosion dumbass.
RH: Alright dont have to be a b*tchass to me.
Aiden: Heh. B*tchass.
RH: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?-
(Suddenly a bunch of rocks fall behind the three and they get stuck)
RH: No... no no no NO! DAMN IT! WE'RE STUCK NOW!
Endless: Well s***.
Aiden: I think I picked the wrong time to appear.
RH: OH YOU THINK B*TCHASS!?
Aiden: Heh, b*tchass-
(RH grabs a boulder and slams it on Aiden's head until he is knocked out)
RH: This is just great. How are we gonna get out of here now?
Culdee: Wait. I think I have something.
(Culdee digs into his hat and pulls out a phone)
RH: Oh thank god! We're saved!
Culdee: Oh no! My phones almost dead! Its at 0.1%!
RH: Well hurry up and call somebody!
Culdee: Alright. Who should I call?
RH: Uh. Duhhh. CALL THE POLICE DEPARTMENT!
Endless: Or we could order pizza.
RH: WHAT!?
Endless: Hey if we're about to die, we might as well die not hungry.
RH: Endless. That is the most stupidest thing I EVER HEARD! Culdee, quick call the police!
Endless: Do you wanna die hungry Culdee? Make the right decision!
Culdee: Ummm. Ummmmmm.
Who should Culdee call?
If you want to call the police, go to the "Call Police" chapter.
If you want to order pizza, go to the "Order Pizza Chapter"
=== Dark Cave ===
Culdee: I agree with Endless. RH is currently acting like a p*ssy.
Endless: Glad you agree with me.
RH: YOU GOTTA BE F***ING KIDDING ME!?
Culdee: Sorry RH, but its two against one. Into the dark cave we go.
Endless: WOOO! F*CK YEAH MOTHER F*CKER TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!
RH: "gulp"
Culdee: Vamanos!
(The three continue on into the dark cave)
RH: Its... really dark in here.
Endless: You brought a light?
Culdee: No.
Endless: Decent answer.
Culdee: Its fine guys. If bats can make it through the dark, then so can we?
RH: Bats have echo location. WE DONT!
Culdee: Well that obviously makes you less evolved.
Endless: Yeah.
RH: ... WHAT!?
Endless: Oh hey, I think I feel a light switch.
RH: Light switch, what?
(Endless turns on the light switch revealing them to be in a room filled with eggs)
RH: Eggs?
Endless: Well this is unexpected.
(Suddenly the eggs start hatching)
Culdee: They are hatching?
(The eggs fully hatch. Coming out of them are baby lamp heads)
Endless: I told you they laid eggs in here.
(The baby lamp heads then start crying making the users' ears bleed)
RH: JEESUS CHRIST! MY EARS!
Endless: I DONT EVEN HAVE EARS BUT THEIR BLEEDING!
Culdee: WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO CALM THEM DOWN!
RH: HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT GENIUS!?
What should Culdee do to calm the babies down?
If you choose to tell them a bed time story, go to the "Bedtime Story" chapter.
If you choose to put them to sleep, go to "Put to Sleep" chapter.
=== Cabin ===
Culdee: Ugh. Fine. We'll rest for a bit and then we'll go after Lamp Head.
RH: Good.
MarioFan: Glad you made the right decision Culdee.
RH: Come on guys! Lets go rest!
MarioFan: Alrighty then.
Culdee: Right behind you.
(The three go inside the cabin. A few hours later, they come out well rested)
Culdee: *yawn* Man you were right about having a good night sleep first. I feel good already.
RH: Told you a good nights rest will make things better.
MarioFan: Now we can go look for Lamp Head.
RH: Right o!
Culdee: Alright. Lets go ahead and follow the footprints and-
(Suddenly a giant shadow looms over Culdee. He looks behind him and sees Lamp Head right behind him)
Culdee: Ah looky here. We found em-
Lamp Head: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Culdee: Change of plans. RUN!
(The three run as Lamp Head chases after the three screaming)
MarioFan: S*** S*** S*** I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA FROM THE START!
RH: WE ARE SO F***ED!
(Endless is then seen flying towards them on his jetpack)
Endless: Hey guys! Oh hey you found lamp head! Nice work-
(Lamp Head then smacks Endless out of the sky causing them to land next to the users)
Endless: Hey fellas.
Lamp Head: REEEEEEE!
RH: Less greeting MORE RUNNING!
(The users then run off. They eventually run into a tree where they are cornered)
Culdee: Uh oh.
MarioFan: We're cornered!
RH: I DONT WANNA DIE!
Endless: Oh im sorry. I thought we ran into this corner because we wanted to die, but okay then. I guess im surrounded by idiots then.
Lamp Head: REEEEEE!
RH: What do we do!?
Culdee: Theres only one thing we can do!
What is Culdee's idea?
If you want to do karoke, go to the "Karoke" chapter.
If you want to play chess, go to the "Chess" chapter.
=== Go Alone ===
Culdee: Well screw you guys! Im gonna go hunt for the lamp head myself! And once I do, im gonna get all the credit, and you get nothing.
RH: Pfft. Good luck with that. Come on MarioFan, lets go rest while this bozo dies while trying to capture a fake creature.
MarioFan: Glady.
(RH and MarioFan laugh while heading into the cabin)
Culdee: WELL YOUR LOSS THEN!
(Culdee angrilly follows the footprints by himself)
Culdee: Screw those guys. Im gonna find Lamp Head all by myself, and once I do, im gonna get all the credit and those idiots will wish that they helped me.
(Culdee continues to follow the footprints he then starts hearing footsteps)
Culdee: "gasp" That must be it!
(Culdee runs after the loud footsteps. He then runs through the trees and sees Lamp Head walking around)
Culdee: Woah.
Lamp Head: "humming"
Culdee: I always thought that Lamp Head looked magestic but never knew it had such a magestic voice.
(Lamp Head continues humming until it turns around and sees Culdee. It then gets angry)
Lamp Head: REEEEEEE!
Culdee: Uh oh.
(Lamp Head charges at Culdee. Culdee quickly runs off as Lamp Head continues chasing after him)
Culdee: I gotta find a way to capture this creature. But how?
(Culdee then sees a log)
Culdee: Got it.
(Culdee jumps in the log and crawls through it. Lamp Head tries to crawl in the log under Culdee but it gets stuck and cant get out)
Culdee: Haha. Caught ya.
Lamp Head: REEEEEE!
(Culdee brings out his phone)
Culdee: The news will be surprised to hear this.
(It then cuts to a while later at MarioFan2009's house. MF is seen with RH and Endless)
MarioFan: Well Culdee is prolly lost in the woods and wont be out until he realizes that Lamp Head isnt real. Hey you guys wanna watch TV?
RH: Sure!
Endless: Might as well.
MarioFan: Aight.
(MarioFan then turns on the TV and it plays the news)
Goodman: Breaking news mkay! A mythical creature that we thought wasnt real has just been caught by a kid named CuldeeFell13. Lets go to the interview now.
(It shows Brooklyn Guy interviewing Culdee. Next to Culdee is Lamp Head who is still stuck in the log)
Brooklyn Guy: Thank you Goodman. I am here with CuldeeFell13 who has captured the one and only Lamp Head. A creature we thought was just rumored but turns out to be the real deal. So tell us Culdee. Did you need any help in order to catch the lamp head?
Culdee: Nope. I did it all by myself. The only people who caught it was me myself and I. Also RH and MarioFan, if your watching this program right now, suck it. You all said that I would die trying to catch Lamp Head. Well look whos wrong! SUCKAS!
(MarioFan and RH stare at the tv with shocked faces)
Endless: Well at least he didnt say anything bad about me.
Culdee: Also Endless, your a mouthless c*nt. Thought I would point that out.
Endless: Heh. Prick.
Brooklyn Guy: So Culdee, since you caught the Lamp Head, we decided to give you 10 million dollars!
Culdee: Sweet!
Brooklyn Guy: So Culdee, what are you gonna do with 10 million dollars?
Culdee: Hmmm?
What should Culdee build with the money?
If you want a build a statue, go to the "Build a Statue" chapter.
If you want to build a house, go to the "Build a House" chapter.
=== Call Police ===
Culdee: I know just what to do.
(Culdee quickly calls the police)
M&Ms Cheif: 911, what's your emergency?
Culdee: Hello? Police! We are trapped in a cave and we need you to come rescue us right away.
M&Ms Cheif: Alright, Can you give us a map to your location?
Culdee: Sure hold on.
(Culdee goes to google maps and is about to pin point a location when the phone then dies)
Culdee: No. No no no no no NOOOO!
RH: What's wrong?
Culdee: I was about to pinpoint our location to the police, but then the phone died. "Sigh" This is not good.
RH: Not good? ITS TERRIBLE! NOW WE ARE STUCK HERE FOREVER!
Culdee: Hang on. I think I got something.
(Culdee digs into his hat)
Culdee: Come on. Come on.
(Culdee then pulls out a teleporter and dynamite)
RH: Well whatcha find?
Culdee: I found a teleporter and some dynamite. We can either use one to get out.
RH: Well theres no way we're lighting dynamite in a small area. Lets use the teleporter.
Endless: You kidding me? We have no idea where that teleporter will take us. Lets just use the dynamite and get outa there.
RH: Are you insane!?
Endless: No, im Endless.
RH: Look Culdee, just use the teleporter and get us out of there.
Endless: Use the dynamite and get us out of here!
RH: USE THE TELEPORTER!
Endless: LIGHT THE DYNAMITE DAMN IT!
What should Culdee choose?
If you wanna use the teleporter, go to the "Teleporter" chapter.
If you wanna use the dynamite, go to the "dynamite" chapter.
=== Order Pizza ===
Culdee: I got it.
(Culdee quickly calls Dominos)
Brooklyn Guy: Hello welcome to Dominos, what can I do you for today?
Culdee: Yeah I would like one large peperoni pizza with a two liter coke and-
RH: WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK ARE YOU DOING-
Culdee: SHHH! SHUT UP! IM TALKING! Sorry about that. Anyways, I would also like some breadsticks and some barbecue chicken wings.
Brooklyn Guy: Will that be all?
Culdee: Yes it will.
Brooklyn Guy: Alright, wheres your adress so I can deliver your food?
Culdee: Oh we're trapped in a cave.
Brooklyn Guy: Um. A cave? Man these destinations get weirder and weirder. Alright im on my way.
Culdee: Alright, my work here is done. The pizza guy should be here any minute now-
RH: CULDEE YOU MOTHER F*CKER!
(RH angrilly beats Culdee up)
Culdee: OW OW OW STOP! WHATS YOUR PROBLEM!
RH: WHEN WE'RE TRAPPED IN A CAVE YOU DECIDE TO CALL THE POLICE! ARE YOU JUST A DUMBASS!?
Culdee: No im Culdee.
RH: ...
(RH gets so angry that he literally causes an explosion making the cave fly high in the sky)
Endless: Wow. You really gotta get your anger issues checked.
RH: Yeah guess i do. Thats the first time I ever got that angry.
MarioFan: Guys I just saw the cave fly into the sky what the hell happened?
Culdee: Stuff. Lets just go home. Forget about this whole Lamp Head thing.
MarioFan: Aaalll righty then?
(A pizza car then comes up. Brooklyn Guy comes out with some boxes)
Brooklyn Guy: Is this the cave that im supposed to deliever the pizzas to?
----
Congrats! You got the "Pizza Ending"
You made it out of the cave though you decided that looking for Lamp Head isnt worth it. You go home with no lamp head, but you do have one thing. And that is freedom. You also got some pizza so thats epic.
=== Bedtime Story ===
Culdee: I think I know what to do.
(Culdee brings out a book)
RH: A book? Seriously?
Culdee: If this doesnt work, then nothing will.
RH: Fine. Be crazy.
(Culdee then sits on a chair and starts reading)
Culdee: The Cats nestle close to their kittens. The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
(The lamp head babies stop crying and start listening)
Culdee: Your cozy and warm in your bed my dear. Please go the f*ck to sleep.
(Culdee turns the page)
Culdee: The windows are dark in the town child, the whales huddle down in the deep.
(A baby yawns)
Culdee: I'll read you one very last book if you swear, you'll go the f*ck to sleep.
( Culdee starts feeling a bit tired as he turns the page. A few babies then start slowly falling asleep. RH and Endless are seen with tired eyes)
Culdee: The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest and the creatures who crawl, run, and creep.
(More babies start falling asleep. Endless then falls asleep)
Culdee: I know your not thirsty. Thats bullsh*t stop lying. Lie the f*ck down my darling and sleep.
(The rest of the babies start slowly falling asleep. RH falls asleep as well. Culdee reads one more page while his eyes are feeling more drowsy)
Culdee: The wind whispers-
(Culdee yawns but continues reading)
Culdee: The wind whispers through the soft grass, hun. The feild mice they make not a peep.
(Culdee reads the last words as he gets tired more)
Culdee: Its been thirty eight minutes already. Jesus christ.... what the f*ck.... go..... to.... sleep.
(Culdee then finally falls asleep. It then cuts to a few hours later. MarioFan is still waiting outside the cave)
MarioFan: What's taking them so long?
----Congrats! You got the "Go the F*ck to Sleep Ending"
You decided to read the babies a bedtime story to get them to shut up. It works but it ends up making everyone fall alseep including Culdee. MarioFan is gonna be waiting for quite a while.
=== Put To Sleep ===
Culdee: We need to put them to sleep!
Endless: Thats what I was thinking!
(Endless grabs a gun and aims it at the babies)
RH: ENDLESS NO-
(Endless shoots the babies only for them to scream louder)
RH: GAH! LETS GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THEY MAKE US DEAF!
Culdee: GOOD IDEA!
(The users run out of the cave with their ears covered)
MarioFan: I wonder what the others are doing?
(MarioFan then hears faint screaming)
MarioFan: What's that screaming?
(Culdee, RH and Endless run out of the cave covering their ears)
MarioFan: Jesus christ? What's wrong guys?
Culdee: NO TIME START THE CAR!
MarioFan: What?
(The cave then starts collapsing)
Endless: START THE CAR DAMMIT!
MarioFan: OKAY JEEZ!
(MarioFan starts the car and they drive off while the cave fully collapses)
----Congrats! You got the "Timber" ending
Endless the great and smart friend he is decided to shoot the lamp head babies only to make them scream louder. The screams are so loud that it causes the cave to collapse. Luckily the users got out but i think they have bleeding ears now.
=== Karoke ===
Culdee: I got an idea!
(Culdee brings out a karoke machine that starts playing "Dont stop Believing" by "Journey")
RH: What?
Culdee: Just a small town girl! Living in a lonley world! She took the midnight train going anywhere!
(Culdee then grabs RH and brings him up)
RH: Oh Culdee dont make me do th-
(RH grabs the mic and starts singing)
RH: Just a city boy! Born and raised in south detroit! He took the midnight train going anywhere!
(Sunny and Frida are seen walking through when they hear the singing)
Sunny: Whats this?
Frida: Ooh I love this song!
Sunny: Sounds like a bop! We should check it out!
Frida: True!
(Sunny and Frida run off along with more people. The users are now surrounded by many people)
MarioFan: Some will win! Some will lose! Some are born to sing the blues!
(Endless takes the mic)
Endless: Oh the movie never ends it goes on and on and on and on and on bruh.
(It cuts to a church where men in suits are seen carrying a coffin with a widow behind them crying into a hankercheif. The men then hear the music playing)
Man 1: Hey thats journey!
Man 2: Kickass!
(The men run off dropping the coffin down the stairs. The widow chases after the coffin)
Widow: HAROLD!
(The widow kneels over the coffin crying but then she stops)
Widow: That is journey.
(The widow runs off. It cuts back to the forest. Everyone is seen dancing including Lamp Head)
Users: Street lights! People!
Endless: Woahhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
(The crowd starts cheering and clapping including Lamp Head who gives a golf clap)
MarioFan: YEAH! GET SOME! GET SOME!
(Culdee grabs MarioFan and bangs him on the karoke machine repeatedly until its in peices)
Culdee: Woops. Uh. Whos up for a drink at the bar everyone? Drinks are on me!
(Everyone cheers and everyone heads to Sportsters bar with Lamp Head tailing behind)
----Congrats! You got the "Everyone Wins" ending!
You decide to have a karoke match and everyone loves it including Lamp Head. You all decide to run to bar with drinks on the house including Lamp Head! Easily the best ending you can ever get.
=== Chess ===
Culdee: I got a plan!
RH: What is it about?
MarioFan: Yeah what is it?
Culdee: We're gonna have a chess match.
Endless: Do you even know how to play Chess?
Culdee: Nope! 
Endless: Well then, we’re screwed!
(Lamp Head brutally beats up the users and it cuts to the hospital. The users are all in casts)
Brooklyn Guy: Well every single bones in your body are broken. Your rib cage is smashed and your spinal cords are in half.
MarioFan: Thanks alot Culdee.
RH: Yeah. If we never went to look for lamp head in the first place, we would have never been in this hospital.
Culdee: Sorry guys.
RH: Sorry doesnt get us out of casts.
Culdee: I just wanted to find the Lamp Head and capture it.
MarioFan: Well we tried doing that and look what it did to us.
Endless: Well sucks for you guys, but with my high regeneration I should be out in a couple hours.
Brooklyn Guy: So uh, do you all have medical insurance?
Culdee: Oh.. uh no.
Brooklyn Guy: Oof. Well then your medical bills are gonna be 50,000 dollars each.
RH: FIFTY THOUSAND!? But there are 4 of us so that means... we need to pay 200,000 dollars.
MarioFan: I dont think anyone in Pensacola has that type of money.
Endless: Except Goodman, though he hardly gives away money.
Culdee: Sorry guys.
RH: Culdee if my arms wernt broken, i'd beat the s*** out of you.
MarioFan: Ditto.
Endless: Eh I could care less.
Culdee: "sigh"
----Congrats! You got the "Hospitalized" ending!
You got all of your friends in the hospital after being beaten up by Lamp Head. Also to add insult to injury, your medical bills are over 200,000. Now your friends hate you. :)
=== Build a Statue ===
Culdee: Hmmmm! I know!
Brooklyn Guy: Whats your decision?
Culdee: Im gonna build a statue of myself!
Brooklyn Guy: Sounds cool!
Culdee: Yeah and everyone who sees it will know that I am the one that captured the Lamp Head!
Brooklyn Guy: Alright! A statue it is!
(It then cuts to the middle of pensacola. A tarp is seen over a statue)
Culdee: Oh man I am excited for this reveal!
Brooklyn Guy: Glad you are. Me and the team worked hard making this.
Culdee: I bet you did!
(MarioFan, Endless and RH then appear)
Culdee: Oh hey guys! You ready to see the reveal of my brand new statue?
RH: We were actually going to Durr Burger but appearantly were here now so we might as well.
Breadmonster: And now! The grand reveal!
(Breadmonster pulls the tarp and reveals the statue. The statue is of Culdee who now is hunky and shirtless standing over Lamp Head who is on the floor)
Culdee: Its beautiful!
Endless: Looks exactly like you.
Culdee: Gee, thanks Endless-
Endless: For a 2 year old.
Culdee: ... Prick.
Endless: Oh and one more thing! I called my friend Pedro the Pidgeon Whisperer to send his friends to say hi.
Culdee: Pidgeons? Wha-
(Suddenly a bunch of pigeons appear and sh*t all over the statue)
Culdee: MY STATUE!
Brooklyn Guy: MY HARD WORK!
RH: Oh Endless! You done it again!
Endless: Aint I a stinker?
(The ending irises on Endless)
----Congrats! You got the "Sh*tting up a Storm" ending
You made a statue of yourself to celebrate catching the Lamp Head. After revealing it to the entire town, Endless reveals he sent his friend Pedro to send a bunch of pigeons out to take a sh*t on it. Now the statue is ruined and your crying like a little b*tch.
=== Build a House ===
Culdee: Hmmmm! I know!
Brooklyn Guy: Whats your decision?
Culdee: Im gonna build a house!
Brooklyn Guy: But dont you already live in a house?
Culdee: Yeah but im gonna make another one cause why not. Besides, people should be allowed to live in two houses! Its a free country!
Brooklyn Guy: True. Alright lets get to work.
(It shows a montage of Brooklyn Guy and a bunch of construction men working on the house while Culdee is watching the montage eating popcorn. It then finally gets finished)
Brooklyn Guy: Wew. Took an entire montage, but we finally got it done.
Culdee: Wow, you guys really outdone yourselves!
Brooklyn Guy: Ah shucks.
(Culdee is seen walking around his new house placing stuff out of boxes. He brings out a shirt that says "Cats (2019) = Bullsh*t")
Culdee: Why havnt I worn this yet?
(Culdee throws it away and then finds a machine with a clock on it)
Culdee: Hmm whats this?
(Theres then a knock on the door)
Culdee: Coming! With an O not a U.
(Culdee opens the door. RH, MF and Endless are there)
Culdee: Hey guys! Came here to check out my new house?
RH: We were actually gonna go get some Durr Burger, but considering we saw your new house, we decided to check it out first.
Culdee: Sweet! Come on in!
(The users come in)
RH: Pretty sweet crib!
Culdee: Thanks. Also.
(Culdee brings out the clock machine he found in his box earlier)
Culdee: I found this in my box earlier?
MarioFan: Lemme see that?
(Culdee gives MarioFan the device)
MarioFan: It looks like a time machine?
(Endless grabs the machine)
MarioFan: Huh?
Endless: I took it and threw it on the ground.
(Endless smashes the time machine to the ground. Everything then starts turning inverted)
Culdee: ENDLESS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?
Endless: Idk. I do retarded sh*t sometimes.
MarioFan: Oh god!
RH: EVERYONE HOLD ON TO SOMETHIIIIIII-
(The four then get teleported to the forest)
RH: We're back in the forest?
MarioFan: Maybe this time machine teleported us back when we were in the forest.
Culdee: True maybe.
(Culdee turns around and sees Lamp Head staring at them)
Culdee: Okay I can tell we are in the past because Lamp Head isnt captured-
Lamp Head: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Culdee: Well theres no where to run. Gotta think of something.
If you want to do karoke, go to the "Karoke" chapter.
If you want to play chess, go to the "Chess" chapter.
=== Teleporter ===
Culdee: Alright. I decided we will use the teleporter.
RH: Awesome! Should lead us out of here.
Endless: Or to in the middle of nowhere.
Culdee: Well theres only one way to find out.
(Culdee turns on the teleporter and it starts glowing. Aiden then gets up)
Aiden: Ugh... whats happening guys-
(Aiden bumps into the teleporter causing the teleporter to go a bit crazy and teleport the four right away)
Aiden: WOAH!
RH: AHHH!
Culdee: WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Endless: This is fine.
(The users eventually get teleported into another part of the cave)
RH: Oh great we're stuck in another part of the cave.
Endless: Told you the teleporter wouldnt work.
RH: Shut your nonexistent mouth.
Culdee: Now hang on guys, we can prolly still find a way out of here. We just gotta-
RH: Are those eggs?
Culdee: Hmm?
(RH points to some eggs)
Endless: Told you they layed eggs here.
(The eggs then hatch. Coming out of them are baby lamp heads)
Culdee: Well what do you know-
(The babies then start screaming. The users cover their ears in pain)
RH: OW MY EARS!
Endless: FIND A WAY TO SHUT THEM UP!
Culdee: ALRIGHT HOLD ON!
What should Culdee do to calm the babies down?
If you choose to tell them a bed time story, go to the "Bedtime Story" chapter.
If you choose to put them to sleep, go to "Put to Sleep" chapter.
=== Dynamite ===
Culdee: Alright. I have decided...
(Culdee throws away the teleporter and brings out the dynamite)
Culdee: We will get us out of here with the dynamite!
Endless: F*ck yeah!
RH: WHAT!? NO! WE'RE GONNA GET US KILLED!
Culdee: Not if we use a sheild or anything.
RH: What exactly are we gonna use as a sheild in such a small space!?
(Aiden then gets up)
Aiden: Ow. What's up guys?
Culdee: I think I got a plan!
(The users grab Aiden and use him as a sheild. Endless sets the dynamite on fire)
Endless: Alright. Now we play the waiting game.
Aiden: Uh tell me why you guys are using me as a human shield again-
(The dynamite then explodes. MarioFan is seen waiting outside the cave. He hears the explosion)
MarioFan: What the!?
(The users come out covered in soot)
MarioFan: What happened in there? You guys okay?
Culdee: Oh we're fine. We had to use dynamite after being trapped in a cave.
RH: We thought we were gonna die, but luckily we used Aiden as a human shield.
MarioFan: Wait, Aiden was in there?
Endless: Appearantly he appeared out of no where when I said the word "B*tchass-
Aiden: Heh. B*tchass-
(Endless sucker punches Aiden knocking him down)
MarioFan: Ooookay then?
Culdee: Anyways finding Lamp Head might just not happen. Wanna go to the durr burger?
MarioFan: Sure. Lets go.
(The users head into the car and drive away. Aiden gets up)
Aiden: Ow.
----Congrats! You got the "Boom Baby" ending.
You went against RH's decision and used Dynamite to get out of there. If Aiden wasnt used as a human sheild, you would have all been splattered.
----And congrats! You made it to the end of the page! What has to be your first ending you got and what has to be your favorite ending you got? Let me know in the comments or in discord. My tag is CuldeeFell13#3255. Anyways, this short has been alot of fun to make but also took a lot of time to make. Hope it was worth it for yall. See you next short. Idk if ill do anything like this again lol.
== Trivia ==
* This is the first interactive media on the SFU so far.
* As talked about in a discord call, one of the ends might be canon.