Sonic the Hedgehog/Transcript

:[The film opens up with the Paramount Pictures logo, the rings being in the place of the stars flying across the ocean and forming the iconic arch over the mountain.] 
:[The SEGA logo (which is built out of multiple recordings of many of the games made throughout the company's 82-year history) then zooms out into view...]
:[...and then the Original Film logo appears, the changes being that the (now metallic blue) letters are now presented on a bright red background.]
== Act 1: Prologue ==
[San Francisco, day.]
[The camera zooms into the city and two blazing specks of light dash all over the place as one shoots lasers at the other. We then see an aircraft flying throughout while it's chasing a blue alien creature, whom we then see full closeups of each. The scene freezes after an explosion which the blue creature barely misses.]
Sonic *V.O*: So. I know what you're thinking. Why is that incredibly handsome hedgehog being chased by a madman with a mustache from the Civil War? 
[The scene unfreezes and the chase resumes.]
Sonic *V.O*: Well, to be honest, it feels like I've been running my whole life. Is this too much? Am I going too fast? It's kind of what I do. You know what? Let's back up.
[Sonic mimics a rewind sound effect as the movie...literally rewinds back to the start.]
[Sonic's island, day.]
[Throughout the narration, we see various shots of Sonic zipping through the terrain and land of South Island]
Sonic *V.O*: This is the island where I'm from.
[Paramount Pictures Presents appears in white letters and disappears]
Sonic *V.O*: It had everything.
[In Association with Sega Sammy Group appears in white letters and disappears]
Sonic *V.O*: Sandy beaches, cascading waterfalls, public access to loop-de-loops; and I never had to catch a school bus because I could run across the entire island in less than two seconds.
[An Original Film Production appears in white letters and we see a closeup of a younger-looking Sonic running across the terrain as the text disappears... oh, and we see a younger Sonic running through the island at incredible speed.]
Sonic *V.O*: Also, there was no school. I know, pretty sweet island, right?
[He runs across a ramp and shoots up into the air while excitedly striking a pose...]
Young Sonic: Yeah! 
[...before landing back on the ground and continue to zip through his island he called home.]
Sonic *V.O*: I was born with extraordinary powers and was told to keep them secret.
[A Marza Animation Planet/Blur Studio Production appears in white letters]
Sonic *V.O*: And like any kid, I did the exact opposite.
[He runs up some bridges leading to a small house, curls into a ball, jumps up, and playfully bumps Longclaw awake.]
Sonic *V.O*: That's Longclaw. She took care of me. 
[Sonic laughs happily shortly after landing on the floor.] 
Sonic *V.O*: She was basically Obi-Wan Kenobi... if... Obi-Wan Kenobi had a beak and ate mice. 
Longclaw: Sonic... someone could've seen you!
Sonic: No one saw me; i'm too fast! 
[He then pulls out a flower he picked from the outside, and shows it to her.]
Sonic: And, I wanted to bring you this!
[which touches Longclaw. ...but just before she could grab it, she notices a tribe of many other creatures in the trees, aiming their weapons at the duo.]
Longclaw: GET DOWN!
[She then shuts the door and grabs Sonic to protect him.]
[They fire their arrows from their bows at almost every corner of Longclaw's house (along with one breaking through the window and impaling Sonic's flower, pinning it to the wooden floor).]
[They then climb through the windows and prepare to attack and capture them both.]
Sonic *V.O*: Turns out with great power, comes great power-hungry bad guys. 
Sonic *V.O*: And I led them right to us.
[...but Longclaw breaks through the back window and flies away as the tribe continues to fire arrows at them.] 
[But eventually, someone who looks like the leader of the tribe fires his arrow and strikes Longclaw through her side, knocking her and Sonic out of the sky and sending them plummeting down to the ground.] 
[She gets up and puts a very concerned Sonic back on his feet as he looks up at her.]
Longclaw: Listen carefully, Sonic. 
Longclaw: You have a power unlike anything I have ever seen... and that means someone will always want it. 
Longclaw: The only way to stay safe is to stay hidden.
[She takes a ring from her satchel and tosses it, which opens a portal to another location...which was a nightly forest.]
Longclaw: This world is on the far side of the universe... you should be safe there. 
Young Sonic: But I don't want to go without you!
Longclaw: You must!
[She hands him over her satchel.] 
Longclaw: These rings will be your most important possession.
[She gasps as she hears and then sees the tribe running towards their direction. She quickly turning her attention back on Sonic.]
Longclaw: If you're ever discovered, use one... 
[She gently pushes Sonic closer to the portal with her wing.] 
Longclaw:...and never....stop...running. 
Longclaw: Now go!!!!
[He complies and runs through the portal... but then looks back, and sees her extending her wings to stop them from crossing through. Horrified, he starts running back.]
Sonic: LONGCLAW!
[She then looks back at Sonic one last time as the echidnas get closer.]
Longclaw: Goodbye, Sonic...
Young Sonic: NOOOOOOO!!!!
[But before Sonic can get back to her, however...]
Young Sonic: No, no...!
Young Sonic: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo.......!!!!!!
[...the portal disappears. Sonic then comes to a grinding stop, unable to process what just happened...but also coming to the realization that he is all on his own now...and has no other choice but to follow Longclaw's instructions.]
[The Sonic The Hedgehog main logo for the film appears, reading out Sonic in bright blue lining and The Hedgehog in a red square underneath and the scene changes] 
== Act 2: The Present ==
[Green Hills, Montana, day.] [Scene: Green Hills, Montana, 10 years later, day. Behind a welcome sign, we see a GHSD Ford Crown Victoria P.I sitting by the roadside along with a police officer named ''Tom Wachowski'', who is holding a red gun, trying to find speeding drivers passing through, but none are in sight.]
Police Officer 1: Come on, one car...?
[He shakes his hand a little from holding the radar gun for too long, and starts messing around after boredom kicks in...by acting like he's actually trying to catch speeding drivers (only to have the side of his face smacked against what he's holding at one point in time). After a while, Tom finally puts it aside.]
Police Officer 1: I'm bored!
[Suddenly, he hears his radio pick up a signal from another police officer on the other end.]
Police Officer 2: Tom, do you read me? Are you there?
Tom *sarcastically*: No, Wade, i'm actually on a yacht in Barbados...with Rihanna.
[A Police Station, day.]
Wade: OMG, *clears throat* that's amazing; please send pics!
[Green Hills, Montana, day. The scene changes back and forth between these two places until the last line of dialogue.]
Tom: No, Wade, i'm at the speed trap.
Wade: Already? How did you get back so fast; Barbados is in the ocean! 
Tom: Hang on, i think I got something.
[Tom takes his radar gun and aims it at... a slow-moving turtle. The device shows the target speed of the turtle to be ''001 MPH''.]
Tom: Hey, buddy! Where's the fire? Got kids living around here!
[The turtle doesn't take much notice as it continues strolling along the road.]
Tom *improvising*: I thought it was kinda funny...sorry.
[He then takes his glasses off... just as a blue trail speeds by his car. The radar gun detected the target's speed to be 296 MPH.]
Tom: What...?
[Tom checks the radar gun and the road in front of him... only to see nothing... But then the blue trail speeds by again, setting off his radar gun once again and showing him the target's speed being 300 this time. As he fidgets with it (mostly checking to see if it's working properly), he doesn't notice a peculiar blue creature celebrating his new speed record behind the patrol car. Confused to see it working fine, Tom departs his vehicle and walks along the road, pondering the situation... only to stumble upon an abnormally flattened section of the flatgrass. At the center of it was something...blue, which he kneels down to pick it up and inspect it. Suddenly, Tom hears Wade on the radio, sounding serious.]
Wade: Tom, we need you down on Main Street; there's been a violent gang shoot-out.
[He then leaves in his patrol car, with his red and blue emergency lights blazing. ...Wade laughs.]
Wade: Just kidding; A duck stole a bagel. But they do need it back.
[As his car fades into the background, the turtle from earlier continues to stroll by across the road, not noticing an oncoming truck approaching. ...but just then, the blue blue trail speeds past the left side of the screen, taking the turtle with it. And a few seconds later, the camera shows an older-looking Sonic carrying the turtle on his hands.]
Sonic: Whoa, buddy; you almost got yourself killed out there! What are you, some kind of adrenaline junkie? 
[He gently pets its head with his finger as he ''talks'' to it.] 
Sonic: It must be rough being slow all the time. ...tell you what? Today... is your lucky day! 
[He then proceeds to give it a full-speed ride down the road (as it comically smiles).]
[Don't Stop Me Now by Queen plays as this happens.]
Sonic: Woooooooooohohohooooooooooo!!!!!! Have you ever felt so alive?!
[He holds it in one hand as he imitates himself catching up to a plane.]
Sonic: This is great; You're doing amazing!
[But only a few seconds later, it flies out of his hand.]
Sonic: Oh, geez!
[Sonic almost immediately runs to retrieve it...and then gets back on track only a second or two later.]
Sonic: Good recovery!
[He then speeds by the camera.]
Sonic *soon echoing through the silent forest*: Hohohohohoooooooo!!!!
[Woods, late noon. He then comes to an instantaneous halt and sets the shaking turtle down on the ground.]
Sonic: Let's keep this our little secret, okay? *whispering in a mysterious voice* You never saw me...I was never here... 
[before the music resumes, and Sonic zooms through the forest...into his new home in the trunk of a tree.]
Sonic *V.O*: So what were you expecting? A dirty little hedgehog eating berries and struggling to survive? Think again; because I am living my best life on Earth. I've got a library... A home gym... and a state-of-the-art security system. 
[As he plays ping-pong with himself (with the table being a road sign that says ''Hill Top Rd - Next Exit'' ...he accidentally hits Longclaw's Ring Satchel, which spills out several rings and a papyrus once it hits the ground.]
Sonic: Oh no...!
[He quickly gathers the rings and puts them back before then taking a look at the papyrus...which turns out to be a planetary map of some sort akin to the nordic map of the 9 realms.]
Sonic *V.O*: And if I'm ever discovered, I'll follow Longclaw's instructions and use my Rings to escape to a new planet.
[Sonic holds up a ring to the map so as to take a reference of some sort.]
Sonic *V.O*: A nice, safe world filled only with mushrooms.
[Sonic tosses it, and it opens up a portal to the Mushroom Planet.]
Sonic *V.O*: Gross. smelly. mushrooms.
Sonic *looking the least pleased with this*:...i hate mushrooms.
[Foothills, day.]
[Sonic reaches a ledge overlooking Green Hills and looks out at the beautiful landscape.]
Sonic *V.O*: But let's not worry about all that! This...is Green Hills; the greatest place on Earth. 
[Sonic speeds off to the city, and hides behind the top of a building.]
Sonic *V.O*: These are my people, and, dare I say, I am their loveable space creature. So what if they don't know I exist?
[Tom is seen holding a donut which he takes a bit of a few seconds later.]
Sonic *V.O*: My favorite person is the Donut Lord; protector of this town and defender of all creatures, big and small.
[He helps a family of ducks cross the road by halting traffic while humorously addressing them as the three most famous duck characters.]
Tom: Morning, Donald, Daisy, Daffy!
[Wachowski residence.]
[Someone who looks like his wife is seen walking to her backyard with a laptop.]
Sonic *V.O*: Donut Lord lives with Pretzel Lady.
[She is then seen practicing yoga.]
Sonic *V.O*: She is super nice to animals and... strangely was born without bones.
[Sonic is watching from behind some bushes, trying to replicate her poses... unsuccessfully.]
Sonic: Ouch, ouch, ouch.
[Restaurant, day. An old man is then seen holding a crudely drawn picture of Sonic (akin to Sanic) in front of Tom while some people in the background are laughing hysterically.]
Sonic *V.O*: There is one person in town who's actually onto me; He calls me the blue devil!
Crazy Carl *to Tom*: I almost caught him last night.
[Forest, later in the day at night (or the previous night he mentioned, also).]
Sonic *V.O*: Say hello to Crazy Carl!
[He is seen zipping by the bear traps, setting them off, with none of them even barely scratching him. Carl grows frantic, and tries to catch him in another way...]
Sonic *V.O*: We have fun together.
[...only to then be snagged into one of his own traps and left hanging upside down from a tree branch.]
Crazy Carl: I know you're out there! And I know you're real!
Sonic *faintly*: No, I'm not!
[Wachowski residence interior, later in the present night or the next day's night. Tom and Maddie are sitting on the couch with their dog, Ozzy, eating popcorn and watching a movie.]
Sonic *V.O*: Movie night is my favorite.
[Sonic slowly rises from behind the window and has his fingers crossed and his eyes closed]
Sonic: Please, please please please....
[Sonic opens one eye and sees the movie's title, Speed, appear on the television]
Sonic: YES! 
Sonic: Keanu! You are a national treasure.
Jack/Keanu Reeves: When I find you--
Howard Payne/Dennis Hopper: Pop quiz, hotshot; There's a bomb on the bus. 
Sonic: "Pop quiz, hotshot." 
Sonic *after gesturing a chef's kiss*: It's a classic line.~
Sonic **V.O**: Basically, we're like a family. ...even though we haven't met yet.  
== Act 3: Pathos ==
[A Psychiatrist's Office, day.]
Sonic: *imitating a psychiatrist with a German accent* You don't zink your prolonged isolation is making you a bit crazy, perhaps? *roleplaying as the patient/himself* Crazy? Me? No way, doc; you got me all wrong. *imitating a psychiatrist with a German accent* And despite all these so-called friends of yours, deep down, 
[He suddenly takes off his stolen glasses.]
Sonic:...you're still rather lonely...?
[Wachowski residence, night. As Sonic leaves for the night, he takes one last look through the window and smiles a little from seeing the Wachowskis enjoy their movie (aka Naked Gun).]
Sonic *V.O*: Perhaps afraid...you'll be alone forever...?
[Sonic frowns and departs. Wachowski residence, the next night. Tom pulls into the driveway and after spotting a couple of raccoons rummaging through his garbage bins, he blows his car horn in an attempt to scare then away.]
Tom: Uh-uh; hey! No, no, get out of there! 
[He then exits the truck, agitated.] 
Tom: Oh, come on! Get out of there!
[The raccoons leave after a while.]
Tom: Get out of there, you trash bandits!
[He then walks in his house and closes the door.] 
Tom: Maddie, as Green Hill's most respected veterinarian, what is the fastest way to exterminate a raccoon?
[Tom sets his work bag aside and sees Ozzy walk in to greet him.]
Tom: Hi, Ozzy! Hello! You're glad to see me!
Tom: You don't eat garbage, do you? 
[As Tom pets Ozzy, the woman from a few scenes before walks in holding an envelope. He stands up after seeing her.]
Tom: What's that? Is that what I think it is?
Maddie *nods*: Uh-huh. Open it.
[He then walks to Maddie and takes the envelope, inspecting it.] 
Tom: Oh, it's kind of small. Is that bad?
Maddie *excited*: Just… open it. 
[She smiles with excitement and anticipation. Tom opens the envelope, and they both walk to the kitchen counter as Tom takes a deep breath and reads a letter from it:]
Tom: "Dear Thomas, we have reviewed your application to the San Francisco Police Department, and pending interdepartmental review and background check, we are happy to inform you that you have been selected to join our team."
Maddie *ecstatic*: Aah, my God!
Tom: Wow! Oh, my God.
[Maddie then pulls out a pink box and sets it on the counter and opens it to reveal a cake. Tom reads it in response:]
Maddie: Ta-da!
Tom:..."San Francisco Sucks".
[The cake shows a burning Golden Gate Bridge and blue letters reading "Forget Those Morons, San Francisco SUCKS!''.]
Maddie *slightly embarrassed*: Oh; wrong one!
[She quickly puts the cake away and pulls out a new box...to open it up, revealing another one:]
Maddie: Ta-da! [she giggles.]
[The new cake shows the words "CONGRATULATIONS" in red letters at the top, "I Never Had a Doubt!" in blue letters at the bottom and a decorative portrait of a police officer in the center.]
Tom: You never had a doubt, huh?
Maddie: No! Mm-mm.
[Maddie and Tom then hug and kiss each other.]
Tom: I can't believe this!
Maddie: Oh, I know! You did it!
[The former then notices Maddie's laptop with a website open.]
Tom: Hey, what are those?
Maddie: Apartments for rent I found on Zillow.
[It shows a listing for apartments at pretty reasonable prices.]
Maddie: I thought Ozzy and I could fly there tomorrow and check out some neighborhoods.
Tom: I mean, this is all happening so fast.
[Tom walks to the dining room and sits down at the table.]
Maddie: Oh, man. It's the craziest thing; you apply for the job... you get the job!
[Maddie walks to the dining room and sits across from Tom.]
Tom: Well, pending a background check.
Maddie: Oh, man...i hope they don't find out about that time you used the neighbor's Wi-Fi.
Tom: Correction: i'm still using the neighbor's Wi-Fi.
[Maddie laughs briefly.]
Tom: But, Maddie, are you sure you're okay with this?
Maddie: Thomas Michael Wachowski, what did you do the entire time I was in veterinary school?
Tom: I worked a second job to pay the rent, and-
Maddie: A third job to pay tuition. 
Maddie: You sacrificed for me; I'm happy to sacrifice for you. 
[Both she and Tom smile.] 
Maddie: Babe, are you sure you're okay with this? I mean, there's been a Wachowski protecting this town for more than 50 years. This is a big change.
Tom: I'm positive. 
Tom *as he gets up from the table*: It's time for this guy to get out there and prove himself. *as he talks over to Maddie* I love Green Hills, but, you know...i want to help people in real trouble.
Tom: I want someone to turn to me in a life-and-death situation and I'll be there for ‘em. 
Maddie: I get it. I'm so proud of you.
Tom: Thank you.
[The two then share an embrace.]
[Scene Change: Road, day]
Tom: And so, it is with a heavy heart that i tell you all that i've accepted a position at the San Francisco Police Department, effective immediately.
Tom: It's gonna be tough to leave my hometown and all my friendships, but....this is something i feel like i need to do to grow...as both an officer...and a man.
[It is revealed that Tom was practicing his departure speech and reciting it to his hood ornament... a pink donut with sunglasses.]
Tom: What do you think, Sergeant Sprinkles? That wasn't so bad, right? Now, all i gotta do is…tell everyone who isn't a donut. 
[Baseball diamond, early afternoon. Sonic is peeking from behind a tree, watching a baseball game.]
Sonic: Whoa, the playoffs!
[He speeds over to underneath the bleachers to spectate up close to the event. Later on, everyone packs up and heads for home, eventually leaving the baseball diamond completely empty. Sonic is now on the middle of it, admiring the beauty of it all.]
Sonic: Whoa... so cool...
[...he soon notices some baseball equipment left behind, possibly by accident. Sonic is then seen using it all, first playing the role of a batter at home plate.]
Sonic: Bottom of the ninth, tie score; and exactly who you want at the plate with the game on the line--Sonic!
[He then plays the role of the pitcher for the opposing team.]
Sonic: But staring him down from the pitcher's mound is the most fearsome southpaw in Green Hills--also Sonic!
[He switches back to the batter.]
Sonic: Okay, focus, Sonic...if you win this game, you'll be the most beloved kid in Green Hills!
[Now playing the role of an infielder, Sonic does a secret code with his fingers, straightens his cap, slaps his face a few times, does a couple of armpit farts, flaps his hands and cups them against his mouth.]
Sonic: Hit it to the guy in left, he's a real space case!
[Playing the role of the left outfielder, Sonic blows a bubble of gum and resumes the role of the pitcher.]
Sonic: Ugh...I can't with that guy.
[He then plays the role of the umpire.]
Sonic: Hey, batter sonic, hey, batter sonic; "Suh-wing" batta Sonic!~
[As the pitcher, Sonic throws the ball and speeds to the batter position as the ball makes its way towards home plate and he hits the ball high. As the outfielder, he smells a flower in the grass and sees the ball.]
Sonic: I got it, I got it, I got it!
[Sonic tries to catch the ball, but is unsuccessful.]
Sonic: I don't got it.
[As the batter, Sonic runs to first base and rounds second while he throws the ball as the outfielder and he dodges the ball in slow motion as the batter and he comes up to third base and plays the role of a teammate.]
Sonic: Go home! Go home!
[Sonic rounds third base and he plays the umpire again.]
Sonic: Come on!
[Sonic jumps up and makes a dive for home plate, the umpire catches the ball and he makes it.]
Sonic: SAFE!
[Sonic slides to a stop and jumps with joy.]
Sonic: Aha, yesyesyesyes; I did it! Did you see that? I did it! I did it!
[Sonic holds up his hand...for a high five... only to soon come to the realization that the baseball diamond is completely empty and silent.]
Sonic: I really am alone... All alone…forever...
[He whips off the batter helmet and starts running around the perimeter of the baseball diamond at an increasingly fast speed, his anger, sadness, and energy building with each lap. And finally...]
Sonic: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
[...he lets out an anguished yell, releasing a bright blue electromagnetic pulse in the process that causes the lights in the baseball diamond to explode, and blacking out the entire Pacific Northwest. It even hits an unlucky satellite high up in the Earth's orbit on the way!]
Sonic: I'm sure no one noticed that giant blue explosion, right...?
[He worriedly speeds away to the right side of the screen. Wade's Police Station, late evening. The station's phone is ringing like crazy and taking several phone calls all at the same time.] Wade stares at the machine in horror for a few seconds before dialing Tom's number in a hurry.]
Tom: Hey, Wade.
Wade: Hi, Tom; Wade here. What is going on?
Tom: Well, gosh, I think the power's out...
Wade: Yeano dur; The lights are out, and the whole town is freaking out. What should I do!?
Tom: Okay, relax...take a deep breath, call Gil, see if they can locate the downed line, then call Zim and see if he can get his generator over to the Super Q so the food stays fresh. 
Wade [as Tom notices something blue glowing in the dark]: Call Zim...before Gil!? 
Wade: Call Gil--Hello?!
Tom: I'll call you back.
Wade: Wait, no, no! Wait! Hello!? Was that the end of the instructions!? 
[He exasperatedly sets his cell phone down, still freaked out by the current events that are transpiring at this very moment.] 
Wade: Okay, all right; You can do this. What was the first thing he said to do...? Right...relax. 
[Meanwhile... Tom moves an object aside, and sees Sonic's quill glowing bright blue in the dark. Now having (partially) figured out the reason for this black out, he picks it up and inspects it once more.]
== Act 4: The Military Gets Into Action ==
[The Pentagon, night. The top members of the United States military sit down at a table in a joint meeting, held by Commander Walters, commander of the U.S. Armed Forces.]
Commander Walters: 20 minutes ago, an energy surge knocked out power across the entire Pacific Northwest. What do we know?
Navy Chief of Staff: Well, our first instinct was it was an EMP. But electromagnetic pulses don't have that kind of power.
Air Force Chief of Staff: NASA has ruled out meteor strikes or solar flares.
Secretary of Homeland Security: The Department of Energy says it's not a power plant malfunction.
Commander Walters: Well...sounds like we're really good at figuring out what it wasn't.
Army Chief of Staff: This could be a prelude to a larger attack. I'm suggesting we scramble the Fifth and Sixth Regiment. 
Commander Walters: No, no, no, no. This needs a much more sophisticated mind. Someone...who understands technology.  
Army Chief of Staff: You want to send in a lab rat?
Commander Walters: Not just any lab rat. A lab rat with teeth. 
Air Force Chief of Staff: You're not suggesting who I think you're suggesting.
Commander Walters: I know he's a little weird.
Air Force Chief of Staff: Weird?!
Army Chief of Staff: No. No. No way.
Air Force Chief of Staff: He's a psychological tire fire!
Commander Walters: But he's also brilliant; Five PhDs, (and an) IQ off the charts. And his drone tech is revolutionary!  
Army Chief of Staff: You're sure he can handle this?
Commander Walters: He has a perfect operations record. Remember the coup in Pakistan?
Army Chief of Staff: No.
Commander Walters: Or the uprising in Azerbaijanistan? 
Navy Chief of Staff: That's not even a country.
Commander Walters: Exactly. And you can thank Robotnik for that. 
Air Force Chief of Staff: I can't believe you're bringing that freak into this.
Commander Walters: Neither can I. But…we have no choice. 
[Baseball diamond, day. The military has set up a detachment at the baseball diamond.] As this goes on, a large black truck slowly pulls in, catching the attention of ''Major Bennington''.]
Major Bennington: What the…?
[A fold-out staircase opens and sets up as Dr. Robotnik steps out of the truck, wearing heavy sunglasses and an all black suit with red trims on the inside. He makes his way over to Bennington along with his assistant and takes his glasses off as the latter warily puts a hand on his sidearm holster in case he needs it.]
Robotnik: Are you in charge here?
Major Bennington: Yes, I am-
Robotnik: NOPE.
Major Bennington: My-
Robotnik: WRONG.
Major Bennington: name-
Robotnik: I'm in charge!
Major Bennington: is Major-
Robotnik: ME!
Major Bennington: Ben-
Robotnik [whispering]: I'm in charge. 
[He shows Bennington his badge that is being held by his assistant.] 
Robotnik: You've never seen anything like this before? It says I'm the top banana in a world full of hungry little monkeys. [He points upward.] Allow me to clarify. 
[He then turns his head to the side while making a servo noise.] 
Robotnik: In a sequentially ranked hierarchy based on a level of critical importance, the disparity between us is too vast to quantify. Agent Stone? 
[He walks away to give space for his assistant to translate the intricately delivered insult from the doctor.]
Agent Stone: The doctor thinks you're basic.
Robotnik: I'm initiating a sweep sequence; [The latter presses some buttons on his glove control panel in the meantime.] Ten miles in every direction should suffice...
[On the top of Robotnik's truck, his flying drones prepare to be dispatched.]
Robotnik:...is he still looking at me funny?
Agent Stone: Yes, he is.
Robotnik: Tell him to stop or I'll pull up his search history.
Agent Stone: If you don't stop looking at the doctor, he'll take a closer look-
Major Bennington: I'm not...deaf.
Robotnik: And tell him his men report to me now, blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah!
Major Bennington: Excuse me? Listen, pal, I don't know if you realize-
Robotnik: I'm sorry, major; What was your name?
Major Bennington: Benning-
Robotnik: Nobody cares!! *in a mockingly sad tone before sulking towards him* Nobody cares... Listen, Major Nobodycares...you know why nobody cares who you are? *projecting towards the former as he walks around him*: Because nobody cares...about your feeble accomplishments. And nobody cares how proud your mommy is that you're now reading at a third-grade level. Have you finished Charlotte's Web yet? Spoiler alert: she dies in the end. But she leaves a big creepy egg sac.
[He then stops to see his drones being deployed.] 
Robotnik: Awww, my babies...! HOoh...! Look at what came out of my egg sack! You know what I love about machines? [He turns to face his drones.] They do what they're told; they follow their programming; they don't need time off to get DRUUNK and put the boat in the water! 
[He turns back to face everyone, now specifically pointing at Bennington in this case and scenario.]
Robotnik: Now, you do what you're told; stand over there on the edge of your personal abyss… *while opening his arms*...and watch my machines do your job.
[A disgruntled Bennington walks away as Agent Stone turns to face his master.]
Dr. Robotnik: Can you feel it, Stone!?
Agent Stone *with a smile on his face*: I can feel it, Doctor.
Dr. Robotnik *as he is pressing buttons*: It's evolution, Stone... *now clenching his fists* IT'S EVOLUTION. 
[The drones slowly fly off into the distance. Woods, day. The drones are then seen spreading out into the horizon. One of them finds and scans a nearby rock with a peculiar shoe print on it. Robotnik's truck interior, day. Back at his truck, he is supervising the sweep operation on a giant holographic screen.]
Robotnik *as the latter enters*: Agent Stone?
Agent Stone: Doctor?
Robotnik: Do you see anything useful in this image?
[He presents him the image of the aforementioned shoe print.]
Agent Stone: Nothing at all, doctor.
Dr. Robotnik *unamused*: Of course you don't. Your eyes weren't expertly trained to spot tracks by the Native American Shadow Wolves.
[He then inputs a command through touchscreen pads on the control panel and scoots back a little as the supercomputer now shows what looks like an unusual, human-like foot.]
Agent Stone: That's extraordinary.
Dr. Robotnik: No... What's extraordinary is, i've determined the exact height, weight, and spinal curvature of this creature, and my computer can't find a single match for it anywhere in Earth's animal kingdom. 
[He gets up towards Agent Stone.] 
Dr. Robotnik: This blackout was not a terrorist attack, and that's no baby bigfoot. This guy...is something else…entirely. [voice-commanding to his supercomputer] Divert all search units to the sight of the footprint. That's one small step for man...(and) one giant leap for me.~
[Woods, day. The military's personnel and the drones (along with the former's guardian sheperds) are now seen working together during the sweep operation... while Sonic watches from a distance]
Sonic *panicking*: Okay, okay; everything is fine; you played some baseball, got a little upset, lightning shot out of your butt, and now they're coming for you!
[Sonic speeds back to his home.]
Sonic: All right, all right; Earth isn't safe anymore. Time for Plan B: Mushroomville. *as he frantically zips around and gathers his stuff* But I gotta take my stuff!
Sonic: Okay, essential items only; okay, toothbrush, toothpaste, hair gel, night-light, funny hat; this half-eaten cantaloupe; oh, my scented candle; my entire comic book collection; beanbag chair; can a beanbag chair fit in a backpack? No, no, no, of course not, that's stupid! 
Sonic [as he frantically zips around and gathers his stuff]: Okay, what else?! The rings! The rings, yes, of course! 
[He gets a tiny red backpack on and holds the ring satchel as he prepares to toss one of its aforementioned contents.] 
Sonic [in a reluctant but desperate tone of voice]: *sigh* Here we go...ring time...mushroom planet; here I come!
[He suddenly sees the drones flying overhead while the dogs bark as if they've detected right where he is.]
Sonic: Oh no! They're right outside! I-I-I-I-I gotta go somewhere else! 
[He heads towards the exit...but stops to take one last look at his home.]
Sonic: Goodbye, cave.... 
[...he then walks out off-screen. Wachowski residence, late morning/early noon. Tom's phone rings while he is marking things down on a map. Seeing that it is Maddie who's calling, he answers.] 
Tom: Hey!
Maddie: Hey!
Tom: Whatcha doing?
[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day.]
Maddie: Just coloring with Jojo and Rachel.
[Scene: Wachowski residence, day.]
Tom: Ah, that sounds...half fun. Hey, exciting stuff here; we had a power outage, the whole town went dark! It was like a sign telling me to get out of Dodge. 
[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day.]
Maddie: Wade must have lost his mind.
[Scene: Wachowski residence, day.]
Tom: Yeah...and he does not have much to lose. How's your sister? Did she convince you to leave me yet?
[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day.] 
Maddie: No, but she did tell me to check your phone for dating apps. 
Tom: The only apps on my phone are the ones that came with it. 
[Scene: Wachowski residence, day.]
Tom: And the Olive Garden.
[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day.]
Maddie: Because when you're there…
Tom: You're family. 
[He stops after hearing something outside his garage.] 
Tom: No way. *as he looks out the window to it and opens a drawer* The raccoons are back...and they are in for a surprise.
[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day.]
Maddie: Your surprise better not be my tranquilizer gun; they're just hungry!
[Scene: Wachowski residence, day.]
Maddie: And also, that's for bears.
Tom *as he grabs the weapon and cocks it*: Good. Now I know it'll work.
Maddie: Tom!
Tom: I'm kidding; i'm just gonna use it to scare 'em... *under his breath* ...possibly to death.
[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day.]
Tom *shortly before hanging up*: Love you, honey, bye!
Maddie: Tom-
[Scene: Wachowski residence, day. Tom scoops up a bit of cake on his finger and licks it before walking out to the garage. Scene: Rachel's residence, day.]
Rachel: D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
[Scene Change: Tom's garage, day. Sonic has now climbed through the garage window, leaving dirt all over the workbench before getting off of it.]
Sonic: Okay, I'm in...with minimal damage to Donut Lord's property. 
Sonic *as he pulls out a ring*: Here we go...it didn't work out on Earth, but that's okay! You're going to a safe world; a nice, safe world filled with mushrooms...mushrooms that'll be you only friends. 
Sonic *with second thoughts*: That sounds awful, I can't do this! You have to do it, there's no other option!
[He reluctantly takes a deep breath and prepares to toss the ring in his hand.] 
Sonic: All right...
Tom *suddenly busts in with the tranquilizer gun*: SFPD, pending background check; paws in the air!-
[He freezes at the sight of the blue hedgehog.]
Sonic:...uh...meow...?
Tom: *yells*
Sonic: *screams back in fright*
[By instinct, Tom shoots the latter in the leg.]
Sonic: Ow!...
[Just as he starts paying attention to Tom's shirt, the tranquilizer's effects begin to kick in.]
Sonic: "San…Francisco"...?
[As he quickly loses strength and stability, he drops the ring, which, as a result of his most recent thoughts, opens up a portal to the top of the Transamerica Building. He collapses on the floor shortly after, and drops his satchel through the portal in the process.]
Sonic: No…ugh...
[The portal closes seconds before he could reach it, leaving him to finally pass out in front of a shocked Tom.]
Tom: what…?
== Act 5: The Fateful Meeting ==
[Scene: Wachowski residence, day. Sonic is now inside Ozzy's cage. Tom gently pokes his head with a spatula and moves it a little. While he does this, he notices the quill he got from him...and then the realization hits him.]
Tom: The blue devil...!
[Pondering on what to do in the counter, he picks up his phone in order to take a photo of him... only to drop it on the floor and stumbling back, getting startled by seeing the hedgehog up and free from his cage.]
Sonic: Donut Lord...?
Tom: You can talk! You're not…you're not here to abduct me, are you?
Sonic: You abducted me!
Tom: Okay, that's a fair point. What are you? Why were you hiding out in my garage?
Sonic: I needed somewhere safe, and y-you're the only person i could think of, Donut Lord!
Tom *weirded out*: Why do you keep calling me Donut Lord!?
Sonic: ‘Cause you talk to donuts...and then eat them if they get out of line.
Tom: Again, fair. 
Sonic: Wawawait...where are all the mushrooms? Why am I still on Earth? What did- Oh, no! I lost my Rings!
Tom: What?!
[Before he could get any answers, he hears Robotnik's truck approaching.]
Tom: What's happening? Is this your mother ship? *while heading to take a look through the window*: I'm not in the mood to get probed.  
Sonic: You think you're worried? I'm not even wearing pants! 
Tom *spotting the doctor's truck*: What the…?
Sonic: AAAAAH!
[The hedgehog yelps and throws the curtains aside, now in full panic mode.]
Sonic: They're coming for me!
Tom: Who's coming for you, and what does that have to do with me?
Sonic: I don't have time to explain, but you have to help me!
Tom: No I don't! *quickly changing his tone to not make things worse*:...why?
Sonic: Well, my legs, which normally would be classified as lethal weapons, feel like spaghetti. I need your help, please...it's life or death...
[...after thinking about it, he begrudgingly makes his decision to accept his proposal.]
Tom:...fine, come with me.
[He leaves, and Sonic follows suit... unsuccsessfully, as he faceplants into the floor soon after.]
Sonic *slightly muffled*: uh...a little help? 
[Scene Change: Outside. day. Robotnik is seen examining more footprints from the hedgehog with his gloves. Scene: The house attic, day.]
Tom: All right, stay here...and be quiet.
Sonic *before getting interrupted by Tom closing the attic door*: Good plan, great plan! We're already working so well together! Practically finishing each other's sentences- ..o-okay bye.
[The former goes outside, and spots Robotnik on the walkway.]
Tom: Hello there! Can I help you? 
Dr. Robotnik *while approaching him*: Good morning, my rural chum. I'mmmmm…from the power company, investigating the blackout. If you don't mind, i'd like to take a few readings inside your house?
Tom: No kidding; You're from the power company? You must know my buddy Spencer. We play softball together.
Dr. Robotnik *while thinking ''What an idiot''*: Ah, Spencer...he's a good man! 
Tom: Yeah...-oh, come on in!
Dr. Robotnik: Great!
[The latter excitedly goes up the steps.]
Tom *before stopping the latter from entering*: Take all the readings you need, except... doesn't the power company usually take their readings from outside the house? That way they can check them even if you're not home.
Tom: Also, my buddy Spencer works for the gas company, and he's more of an Ultimate Frisbee guy, so you want to tell me why...you think I'm dumb enough to just let you walk inside my house?
[Robotnik, through his glove's controls, deploys 7 of his drones to do the job for him.]
Dr. Robotnik: I'm sorry, mister-
Tom: Wachowski. But everyone just calls me Tom…except my dentist, he calls me Tim...but it's gone on for so long that it would be weird if I corrected him.
Dr. Robotnik: Well, TomwhosedentistcallshimTim, you may have noticed that this entire town has been experiencing a power outage. 
Tom: Yep, no lights...picked up on that. 
Dr. Robotnik: 20 minutes ago, I tracked an energy pulse with a similar signature to the one that caused this disruption.
[Some of Robotnik's drones fly into the house via the windows and even the chimney and one scans the attic while Sonic watches and tries to stay out of sight.]
Tom: Listen, uh...mister-
Dr. Robotnik: Doctor. Doctor Robotnik. But my dentist calls me Rob.
[Tom chuckles briefly.]
Tom: Look, uh, Dr. Robot...skiz, um, i'm sure what you're here for is very serious, but it's got nothing to do with me, you can ask anyone in town. Everyone knows me.
Dr. Robotnik: I bet they do. I'm sure you're hella popular with the Jebs and the Merles and Billy Bobs in this glorified gas-station rest stop, betcha go way back to the days of tippin' cows and...playin' in a jug band!
[He mockingly imitates a jug band player.] 
Dr. Robotnik: And maybe someday you'll achieve your goal of getting a costco card or adopting a Labradoodle; but the reality is, I surpassed EVERYTHING YOU'RE EVER GOING TO DO... …before I was a toddler. I was spitting out formulas while you were still...spitting up formula.
Tom: I was breastfed, actually.
Dr. Robotnik: Nice. Rub that to my orphan face. Mr. Wachowski, are you familiar with US Code 904, Title 10, Article 104?
Tom: Yeah, who isn't-
Dr. Robotnik *interrupting Tom*: "Anyone, who attempts to aid an enemy of the United States shall suffer death." And if I'm the one who catches you, it'll be even worse.
Tom: Worse than death?
[Scene: The house attic, day. Sonic is curled up into his ball form to blend in with the other sports balls around the attic.]
Sonic: Okay, i'm a ball, just a normal ball, i'm blending in like a ball- shh, stop talking; no, you stop talking; be quiet, Sonic; YOU be quiet, Sonic!
Sonic: Oh, I hope they aren't scanning me with X-rays, i had a kind of an embarrassing lunch...
[Another drone flies into the attic and starts scanning the area and they get closer to the blue ball]
Sonic:...don't freak out...don't freak out, don't freak out...
[The lasers get even closer, getting even more nervous.]
Sonic: don't frk...don't freak out, don't freak out... *panicking as the scanners are about to reach him*: I'm freaking out!
[He quickly leaps out of his hiding spot, and rolls down the stairs...]
Sonic: Why don't you have your staircase carpeted?!
[...and into the counter]
Dr. Robotnik: ..., compared to what I-
[Robotnik and Tom look for the source of the noise.]
Tom *masking his fear*: Old pipes.
Dr. Robotnik: Yeah...probably just the house settling; nothing to see here!-
[After pretending to talk to his personnel as a distraction, he pushes past Tom and rushes in, the latter following him.]
Tom: Hey!
[...the two instead find a raccoon eating Maddie's cake on top of the counter.]
Dr. Robotnik: Here's the thing... i'm never wrong.
Tom *while patting the former's shoulder: Well, first time for everything, I guess... *as the raccoon leaves through the dog door*: Would you like some cake? I hear raccoons have the cleanest mouths of any animal that routinely eats garbage.
Dr. Robotnik: Heh...
[He then glares at Tom before turning away... only to find Sonic's quill in the table the former hid it in, a smirk growing in his face...as he flamboyantly presents it to Tom.]
Dr. Robotnik: Look at that...i was right.~ *while waving his hand down his face* Note the lack of surprise! ...shall we try this again?
[He then whistles to the tune of Richard Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" to call a drone towards their location...which aims at Tom. Sonic watches from under the counter with great concern in his eyes.]
Dr. Robotnik *as he strokes the quill: I'm going to give you five...seconds...to tell me where it is. Five.
Tom: I don't know what you're talking about.
Dr. Robotnik: Four.
Tom *while brandishing his badge*: Hey, tough guy, i'm a cop...and you're threatening an officer.
Dr. Robotnik: How can you threaten somebody who never existed? Three... COME ON, RACK YOUR BRAIN! You might be able to come up with some lame excuse to go on living, in two…
[Tom glances at the drone.]
Dr. Robotnik: ONE...
Sonic *rushing out from under the counter*: Wait! Don't hurt him!
Dr. Robotnik: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!-
[Tom suddenly punches him in the face, knocking him to the ground.]
[The drone soon locks onto him, and while he and Sonic scramble for cover, the drone begins to fire at them, pouring holes in the walls and destroying objects along its line of fire.]
Sonic: This feels excessive!
[He notices the drone reloading slowly, and gets an idea.]
Tom: Stay behind me.
[He turns to look at him to make sure he was still with him. ...only to find him on top of a shelf. Quickly realizing where this was going, he shakes his head to stop him from riding onto the drone, but Sonic retorts with a smug smirk...]
Sonic: Hiyah!
[...before jumping onto it.]
Sonic: Don't worry, I got it right where I want it!
[Tom scrambles for cover while Sonic is having a blast.]
Sonic: Can you believe Amazon is gonna deliver packages with these things?!
[As it pours holes around the living room, the drone robustly tries to shake Sonic off of itself.]
Sonic: This was a horrible plan; What was i thinking?!
[At that point, the drone just stops firing, and spins rapidly all it can, ultimately throwing Sonic off.]
Sonic: I'M GONNA PUKE!!
[Realizing he had an opening, Tom grabs a ceramic plate off the table and whacks it from behind, damaging its batteries and disabling it. He then goes to Sonic and carries him out of the house towards his pickup truck, the latter still loopy from the fight.]
Sonic: urgh...
Tom: Come on! We gotta get out of here!
Sonic *clearly dizzy*: Oh, don't tell me that's all you got; I'm just getting started!! Let me know if you want to go round two with the BLUE!
[Tom drops him in the passenger seat, starts it, and drives away as quickly as possible.]
Sonic: blegh...
[Meanwhile, Agent Stone arrives at the scene. Worried, he steps into the house, and finds his boss on the floor, just recently beginning to wake up.]
Agent Stone: Doctor! Are you okay? *as he helps his boss up*: I saw a guy race out of here and thought-
Dr. Robotnik: -that you should stop them? Open your mouth...and say you thought that you should stop them.
Agent Stone *right as he is grabbed by the lower jaw and pulled close*: No, i thought that maybe i should check to see if you were okaAAeiy!-
Dr. Robotnik: You know what's hard about being the smartest person in the world? 
Agent Stone: everyone else seems stupid-
Dr. Robotnik: Stupid, yes! Way to go! You got that one!! 
[He lets go of him, and wipes his gloves on his coat.]
Dr. Robotnik: Whatever this creature is, it's our job to secure it, neutralize it, and uncover the source of its power... and if it resists… we take it apart...piece by piece... *as he puts his broken glasses on*...and see what makes it tick. ...stone?
Agent Stone: Doctor?
Dr. Robotnik: Call Optical Illusions...and tell them I need new frames. *as he tosses his old ones to the floor* They know what kind I like.
(He quickly stops after remembering what he came for that nearly made him shoot down Tom.)
Dr. Robotnik: Oh...and bring me the quill.
Agent Stone: Yes, Doctor.
[Scene Change: Road, day.]
== Act 6: The Road Trip Plot ==
[The two are now on the run in the middle of the highway.]
Tom: All right, pal, you need to start talking right now! Who are you? WHAT are you?
Sonic:...i'm a hedgehog; I feel like that's obvious...and I'm in big trouble.
Tom: Oh, you're in big trouble? You're not the one who punched some government weirdo back there!
Sonic: You think you have problems? I lost my rings!
Tom: Rings; What are you talking about?
Sonic: Okay...rings are how all advanced cultures travel between worlds; and now mine are on top of a pointy building I've only ever seen on your skintight t-shirt!
[Tom is offended by the way he described it.]
Sonic: So, i'd like you to take me to San Francisco so I can get back my rings and use them to go to the Mushroom Planet!
Tom *sounding just about done*:...Mushroom Planet.
Sonic: Yes!
Tom: Right...
[After a while, he pulls over, and opens the passenger door for a confused Sonic.]
Tom: Okay pal, out you go.
Sonic: I'm sorry, what?
Tom: Look, this is the worst possible time for me to get myself into trouble, okay!? You asked me to save your life, I saved your life. Now please, go-...find your rings and your mushroom land. *as Sonic watches dejectedly* Hopefully i'm gonna wake up in a hospital bed and the doctor's gonna tell me that my colonoscopy was a big success, okay? So, goodbye.
Sonic *while sadly stepping out of the truck*: okay...goodbye.
Tom: Goodbye. ..why aren't you leaving?
Sonic: I don't know where San Francisco is.
Tom: It's west.
Sonic: West?
Tom: Straight shot, can't miss it.
Sonic: Fine. That's cool. *sarcastically*: I'm totally cool saying goodbye now.
[Sonic speeds off in the direction Tom gave him, the latter chuckling at how easy that was... but exactly 4 seconds later, he comes back to the truck (which startles Tom), now soaking wet and covered in seaweed, along with a fish on his head.]
Sonic: So, as I...crashed into the cold, dark water of the Pacific...I realized a few things. A, I have no idea where I'm going. B, Salt water stings. C, I shouldn't even be on this planet right now, but. I. am! Why?! Because you SHOT me.
Tom: I know.
Sonic: YOU SHOT ME!
Tom: All right, I heard you the first time; you don't have to…pile it on to your...grief.
Sonic *extends his thumb*: I'm wet... *extends his index finger*:...i'm cold...*opens his arms*:...there's a FISH ON MY HEAD... and CLEARLY, i'm not going to be able to do this on my own!
[...the fish falls off Sonic's head shortly after.]
Tom: *sigh...* all right, get in the truck!
Sonic: Really!? *as he shakes the water off of himself, puffing up his fur*: You're gonna help me?!
Tom: I guess it is a little bit my fault that all this is happening to you.
Sonic: No, not a little bit; entirely; it is ENTIRELY your fault!
Tom: Okay, it's entirely my fault; are you coming?
Sonic: Yes.
[He then shakes himself off again, this time with his fur going back to normal. He climbs back into the truck and closes the door.]
Sonic: Road trip; WHOOP WHOOP!
Tom: *sigh* What am I doing...?
[Scene: Foothills, day. Tom and Sonic are driving through the foothills, continuing their journey.]
Tom: All right, there's gonna be rules on this trip. Number one, do exactly as I say all the time. Got it?
Sonic: [Gives Tom a little salute with his fingers] Got it, Donut Lord.
Tom: Would you stop with the "Donut Lord"?! I have a name. It's Tom.
Sonic: I'm Sonic.
Tom: Sonic. Sonic. So you've been spying on us all these years?
Sonic: I mean, I wouldn't call it "spying." We were all just hanging out, only I wasn't invited and no one knew I was there.
Tom: I can't believe Crazy Carl was right all this time.
Sonic: Yeah, you should call him Super Observant Carl instead. 
Tom: Uh-huh.
Sonic: Oh, my God, stop the car right now! [Gets up and leans out the open window]
Tom: What, what?! What?
[They pass a billboard advertising the World's Largest Rubber Band Ball]
Sonic: "The World's Largest Rubber Band Ball"? We gotta see it!
Tom: No, no. No, this is not some fun family road trip, okay? The government wants to dissect you and arrest me. This is serious.
[Sonic gives Tom a smug smile, speeds out of the truck and comes back in the blink of an eye with souvenirs like a baseball cap and some small rubber band balls.]
Sonic: Eh, you're right. It was lame. Gift shop was cool, though!
[Sonic shows a mouse pad that reads "I Heart Rubber Band Balls" to Tom]
Sonic: I got you a mouse pad. When are we gonna get there?
[Sonic holds up a paddle ball and plays with it at a very fast speed while looking at Tom with a playful smile]
Tom: We will get there when we get there!
[Sonic continues playing with the paddle ball Scene Change: Rest Stop, night. Tom and Sonic pull into a rest stop on the other side of town and the truck pulls up to a fueling station and Tom gets out of the truck and puts a hat on and walks to the other side of the truck.]
Tom: All right, I'm gonna go check in with Wade, see if he knows what's going on.
Sonic: You're gonna see Wade in that glass thing? What is it, a teleportation box?
Tom: [Looks behind him and back at Sonic] It's a pay phone. It's mostly for drug dealers and fugitives from the law, which is us. Stay in the car. I don't want anybody seeing you.
Sonic: Ugh, fine.
[Tom walks to the pay phone and goes inside. Meanwhile, Sonic is horsing around in the truck, pretending like he is actually driving it and making engine noises, when he spots a large gathering of bikers off to the side and he gasps with wonder before ducking down behind the door.]
Sonic: Okay, okay. That is the coolest place on Earth, but you have to stay in the car!
[Sonic slowly peaks his head up to continue watching everything play out in front of him, and it causes him to hyperventilate, fogging up the glass on the window, which he wipes away to keep watching. He's still fighting his excitement by rocking back and forth in the driver's seat.]
Sonic: Be strong, be strong!
[Not taking it anymore, Sonic spots a pair of sunglasses and gets an idea. Meanwhile, Tom is on the phone with Wade. Scene Change: Police Station, night.]
Wade: Hello. Green Hills Police Department.
[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night.]
Tom: Wade, it's me.
[Scene Change: Police Station, night.]
Wade: Hi. I'm so glad that you called. Uh, so, some guys came in asking some questions. Uh, they're a little creepy. [Chuckles nervously]
[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night.]
Wade: Kind of reminded me of, uh, the guys from Men in Black, but not as likable or, uh, charming as Will Smith.
Tom: Wait, what kind of questions?
Wade: Um, questions about… terrorism? Heh, I told them that I've gone ice fishing with Tom. He doesn't know how to make a bomb!
[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night.]
Wade: He can't even make bait in the cold!
Tom: All right, Wade, listen to me. This is really important. Don't tell them that we talked, okay?
[Scene Change: Police Station, night.]
Wade: [Looks up and sees Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone staring him down] You know, I think they already know. [Dr. Robotnik grabs the phone from Wade]
Dr. Robotnik: Mr. Wachowski.
[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night.]
Tom: Ugh, Tom.
[Scene Change: Police Station, night.]
Dr. Robotnik: I want you to know that the only person who ever punched me in the face was the school bully. He hit me in the cafeteria, causing a blunt-force contusion to the soft tissue surrounding my orbital bone. Humiliated me in front of the entire school! And you know what I did in response?
[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night.]
Tom: Uh, I'm assuming that you reported him to the principal's office ‘cause , you know, that kind of behavior is really unacceptable.
[Scene Change: Police Station, night.]
Dr. Robotnik: No, I examined the inefficiency of a world where brawn trumped brain, and I used technology to resolve that inefficiency. The boy ate his meals through a straw for a year! And I have never lost a fight...until today.
[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night.]
Tom: Hey, hooray for me then, huh?
[Scene Change: Police Station, night.]
Dr. Robotnik: No, because you're about to become the bully with the straw! I'm coming for you, Mr. Wachowski. And when I catch you, I'll-- [Tom hangs up] Hello. Hello? Hello, hello, hello?
Wade: I think he actually hung up, because I notice the light isn't on…
Dr. Robotnik: Thank you, Officer Brainfart. 
Wade: If you give me a second I can get an outside line…
Dr. Robotnik: No. Don't be bothered. You just sit there and be "u"...seless.
[Robotnik, Agent Stone, and the others walk out of the room.]
Wade: No one's gonna…erase my memory here? I will tell people about this!
[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night. Tom comes back to the truck with a fast food meal]
Tom: Okay, not exactly the healthiest meal, but… [Notices Sonic is no longer in the truck] Sonic?
[Tom looks over to the biker bar and realizes Sonic might be in there.]
Tom: No, no, no, no, no!
[Tom sets the meal down on the hood of the truck and rushes to the biker bar. Scene Change: Piston Pit, night. Tom enters the biker bar, called the Piston Pit, and looks around for Sonic, which he finally sees Sonic sitting at a table wearing a cowboy hat, sunglasses, and red shirt. Tom taps Sonic on the shoulder and he turns around, tipping his hat to Tom.]
Sonic: Howdy, partner!
Tom: I'm not your partner. Come on. We're leaving. 
Sonic: But there's a ZZ Top cover band. You gotta see their beards. 
Tom: You're gonna have to catch ‘em some other time. Let's go! Get up!
Sonic: If we stay, I promise I won't say another word for the rest of the trip, starting… now!
Waitress: [Walks over to Tom and Sonic] Welcome to the Piston Pit. What can I get you fellas?
Sonic: Ooh! I want nachos and buffalo wings. Oh, and guac. Funny word isn't it? Guac, guac! Guuaaac!
Waitress: Hey, no kids allowed in here. What's he got on, some kind of mask?
Tom: Oh! He, he's actually 43 years old and suffers from a very rare skin disease that stunts his growth and makes him look… like-like that.
Sonic: The face, I was born with. The confidence, I picked up along the way.
[The waitress smiles.]
Tom: Make his a Mello Yellow, please.
Waitress: Okay.
[The waitress walks away as Tom sits down at the table.]
Tom: You owe me one.
Sonic: I never sat on a barstool before! So squishy! Oh, look at this, it spins! [Spins around on the barstool] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Tom: Yes. That's nice.
Sonic: Whaa-ha-ha-ha! [Stops spinning] I feel sick.
Tom: Are you having fun? Gonna check this off the ol' bucket list, huh? Big night for you.
Sonic: What's a bucket list?
Tom: [Sighs] A bucket list is, uh, it's a list of things you want to do in your life before you, well, kick the bucket.
Sonic: I've never kicked a bucket either! Oh, I gotta make my list!
[Sonic speeds off and grabs a pen and pad and comes back to the table, writing down his list.]
Sonic: Uh-huh! Mm-hmm! Oh, Sonic! Ha-ha! Uh-huh! [Stops and frowns]
Tom: [Notices Sonic's concern] What? What's the matter?
Sonic: There's so much stuff I've never done. And now that I'm leaving Earth forever, I guess I missed my chance.
Tom: [Looks around] Well, I guess this is the kind of place you could get a lot of living done in a short period of time. I suppose we can spare an hour.
Sonic: What? You're gonna bucket list with me?!
Tom: Sure, why not?
Sonic: You won't regret this!
Tom: Oh, I'm pretty sure I will. 
[Tom and Sonic have a blast in the Piston Pit; dancing, playing darts, playing basketball, which Tom uses Sonic as a ball and Sonic uses his fast legs to build up Tom's score as he sits on the hoop ring.]
Sonic: Ha-ha! New high score!
[He and Tom are dancing again.]
Sonic: Yippee-ki-yay! Ah-ha!
[Sonic is riding a mechanical bull.]
Sonic: Wait a second, is this bull missing a head, or does it have two butts?
[Tom mockingly yawns from seeing Sonic ride the bull.]
Sonic: This is easy!
[Tom decides to turn up the speed for the mechanical bull by inserting a quarter into the machine and tapping the button for the highest speed and he laughs from watching Sonic hold onto it and being thrown around]
Sonic: Yee-haw! I'm a cowboy, baby!
[Sonic gets thrown off the bull but speeds back onto it like nothing happened.]
Sonic: I'm okay!
[Tom and Sonic are dancing again, but Sonic accidentally (or intentionally) bumps into a female patron]
Tom: Whoo, yeah!
[The female patron throws a drink in Tom's face, thinking it was him who messed her up. Afterwards, Tom is drying up while Sonic is laughing at Tom's plight]
Tom: Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.
Sonic: Nice work, Romeo!
Tom *sarcastically*: Glad you're having a good time.
Sonic: I AM having a good time! I'm having the best time! I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
[Suddenly, a group of mean-looking patrons approach him and Tom]
Tom: Uh, heh, can we help you?
Thug: We don't like your kind around here.
Sonic: "Our kind" What kind is that?
Thug: Hipsters.
Sonic: [Gasps] How dare you.
Tom: Hey, you know what? We were just leaving anyway. Weren't we? There's not a problem here.
Sonic: No, no, no, it's okay.
Tom: No, no, no, we're leaving. 
Sonic: I know exactly how to handle this situation. [Grabs a beer bottle, stands up, and clears his throat] Pop quiz, hotshot. You just picked a fight with a poorly disguised hedgehog who's seen way too many action movies. What do you do? What do you do? Ha!
[Sonic jumps up and tries to smash the bottle over the guy's head, but nothing happens]
Sonic: Huh! Am I crazy? It's supposed to break, right? [Tries again, numerous times, his speed increasing as well] Bink. Bink, bink. Break, please. Break, please. Break this bottle, please. Please, please, please, please, please!
Tom: Uh, Sonic?
[The guy raises his fist.]
Sonic: Uh-oh!
[The guy punches Tom in the face, which knocks him into more patrons, sparking a bar fight.]
Sonic: Ho-hoo! Ho-ho-ho! 
Tom *sarcastically*: Nice going!
Sonic: Thanks! It's awesome, right? All right, who's next? Who wants some? Who do I get to beat up? Hey! Has anybody seen my waitress? Still waiting on those buffalo wings!
[He sees the thug from earlier cracking his knuckles.]
Sonic: Why, you..!
[Sonic jumps and punches the thug in the face repeatedly in slow motion, somersaults, and lands back on the floor]
Sonic: Ha-ha!
[Sonic blows on his fists and the thug turns around and growls aggressively]
Sonic: Uh-oh.
[The thug runs to tackle him, but now time seems to have stopped and everything is frozen in place as Sonic's awareness is increased tenfold.]
Sonic: Really?
["BOOM" by X Ambassadors plays as Sonic runs around the bar and setting up pranks and traps for everyone, even catching a selfie with one of the patrons, crashing into a boot head-first, eating chili dogs, and setting a bear head trophy on the thug from earlier. Finally, the bar fight ends with everyone getting entangled in Sonic's traps, and Sonic imitates a bull wrestler by using a checkered napkin as the thug runs past him and crashes through the window.]
Sonic: Olé!
[Only Tom is left standing due to Sonic saving him from the fight. Tom looks around at the injured patrons and even sees a patron wrapped in toilet paper fall to the ground, and Sonic sides up alongside Tom at the bar.]
Sonic: So, should we get out of here?
Tom: Yeah, time to go!
[Tom and Sonic rush out of the Piston Pit and make a beeline for the truck.]
Sonic: Ha-ha-ha! That was amazing! [Throws his disguise off to the side] Wait a second, did we even pay our tab? It doesn't matter! Watch this, watch this! I always wanted to do this!
[Sonic jumps up and slides across the hood of Tom's truck in slow motion, barely noticing the fast food from earlier, and he slides inside the truck.]
Sonic: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 
Bar Patron: Get 'em!
Sonic: [Waving] See ya, suckers!
[The bar patrons chase after the truck]
Sonic: I can't say for sure, but I think they liked me.
Bar Patrons: Come on! Don't let 'em get away!
[Sonic and Tom are now far away from the patrons and they're celebrating their victory with laughs.]
Sonic: Yes!
Tom: Yeah!
Sonic: Yes!
Tom: Ouch! [Holds the side of his face.] 
Sonic: He got you pretty good!
Tom: I'm all right. I've been hit harder. 
Sonic: Did you see how much toilet paper I used?! The next person that goes into that bathroom will have nothing to wipe with!
[Scene Change: Motel, night.] 
Sonic: The floors were sticky. The crowd was rough.
[Sonic is jumping excitedly on a bed while Tom grabs some ice for his bruises]
Sonic: And the odds were against us. But there was no stopping Donut Lord and the Blue Blur! Scratch another one off my list. [Scratches off the item on his bucket list]
[Tom sits down on the bed while Sonic sits on the other one.]
Tom: You are a weird little dude.
[He hands Sonic a makeshift ice pack, and Sonic starts imitating Tom as he tends to his bruises, which makes Tom notice and he gets annoyed.]
Tom: Okay.
Sonic: So, what are we gonna do now?!
Tom: I'm gonna pass out watching TV. I think you should too.
Sonic: But this is my last night on Earth! I want to soak up every last second! 
Tom: [Still tending to his bruises] All right, anything you can find to do in this room, you knock yourself out.
[Sonic looks around and zips all over the room, doing pretty much everything he can to amuse himself. Finally, he finishes up with a shower and comes back to the bed wearing towels on his head and body, and slippers on his feet.]
Sonic: Good times.
[Sonic lets out a flatulent sound, which annoys Tom even more.]
Tom: Oh, come on. [Waves the air] That's awful. What did you eat? [Lays down in the bed]
Sonic: I think it's called a…chili dog?
Tom: You might want to check your fur on that one, buddy. Hey, so, what's this next planet you're supposed to go to like? 
Sonic: It's no Earth, I can tell you that. There's no people, just breathable air and giant mushrooms and stuff.
Tom: [Shrugs] Well, look at it this way; at least you won't be the only "fun-guy." [Chuckles]
Sonic: No. Don't ever do that again.
Tom: I liked it.
Sonic: [Looks around the room] I'm really gonna miss this place. I know I have to leave Earth to be safe, but what if Longclaw was wrong? Maybe I could have a life here. 
Tom: [Looks at Sonic, then gets up] All right. We should get some sleep.
Sonic: You sleep. Don't worry about me. I'm gonna stay up all night enjoying Earth while I can!
Tom: Sure, kid. As long as we're on the road by 8:00.
[Tom turns a lamp off and he sees Sonic sleeping peacefully while mumbling in his sleep.]
Sonic: I had a chili dog. That's why my farts smell…
[Tom tucks Sonic in and then he notices his bucket list and sees all but one thing crossed off. The final item on his list, "Make a real friend", is seen, which hels Tom a little concerned inside. His troubles worsen when he hears a news report on the television.]
Newscaster: Thomas Wachowski, accused of committing an act of domestic terrorism. Wachowski is considered armed and dangerous. Any information regarding his whereabouts should be reported to local authorities immediately.
[Scene Change: Piston Pit, day. Dr. Robotnik's truck is parked outside the rest stop and workers are installing a new window for the Piston Pit while Robotnik and Agent Stone inerview the bar patron from the night before.]
Agent Stone: Did he say where he was going?
Thug: [Takes a picture of Tom from Agent Stone and looks at it] Maybe. Maybe not. Like I'd ever tell you. [Hands the picture back]
Dr. Robotnik: [Gently pushes Agent Stone aside] Stand down, Agent Stone. This well-meaning citizen obviously doesn't understand the urgency of the matter.
[The thug stands up and looks Dr. Robotnik dead in the eyes]
Thug: Really?
[Robotnik gives the thug a smug grin and then hurls him out the replacement window yet again]
Dr. Robotnik: Now that's what I call good cop, bad cop.
[As Robotnik and Agent Stone leave the Piston Pit, he holds his hand out and Agent Stone goes for a high five, but Robotnik tricks Stone and punches him in the abdomen.]
Dr. Robotnik: You left yourself open.
[Robotnik walks away while Agent Stone gasps for air. Scene Change: Robotnik's truck interior, day.]
Dr. Robotnik: Judging by the quickest route to San Francisco, the approximate speed of their vehicle and local weather conditions… [Messes with the control panel] they should be… right about… here.
[The image of the road map zooms in and shows Tom's truck on the tracking]
Agent Stone: That's brilliant, sir.
Dr. Robotnik: Thanks… [Whispering] for nothing.
== Act 7: Dawn Of The Second Day ==
[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day. Sonic and Tom are driving into California]
Sonic: So, what's on your bucket list?
Tom: Who, me?
Sonic: Yeah. Everyone has a bucket list, right?
Tom: Well, sure, but, I mean, you're the one leaving Earth, and I'm not planning on dying anytime soon.
Sonic: [Chuckles] Don't be so sure. Your best friend is a magnet for danger. 
Tom: Oh, are you anointing yourself as the bestie?
Sonic: Mm-hmm.
Tom: A little presumptuous, but-- I mean-- What, no-- I-I like you, of course, but, you know, we're not best friends.
Sonic: You tucked me in last night.
[Tom chuckles.]
Sonic: Fine, fine, fine. Best animal friend.
Tom: That would be my dog, Ozzy.
Sonic: Okay, let's drop this increasingly humiliating topic of conversation. Bucket list. Give it to me!
Tom: Okay, there is one thing. In Green Hills, I've always felt, I don't know, more like a babysitter than a real cop, you know? So I want a chance to prove myself, under real pressure. I'm gonna move to San Francisco, become a street cop. And, I don't know, see if I have what it takes.
[Tom looks over at Sonic, whose jaw is dropped open in shock.]
Tom: What? Why-why is your face doing that?
Sonic: You're leaving Green Hills?!
Tom: [Annoyed] Okay.
Sonic: B-B-But why? Why would you leave Green Hills? 
Tom: This may be hard for you to understand, but Green Hills is a small town. It's a very small town.
Sonic: Uh, it's not small! There are hundreds of people.
Tom: That's a small town, dude! 
Sonic: It's a perfect town, and the people need you. 
Tom: Please, I clean out their gutters, I jump-start their cars in the winter. They could call anybody to do that.
Sonic: Sure, they can call anybody, but they don't. They call you.
[Scene Change: Robotnik's truck interior, day. Dr. Robotnik begins to set up his capture plan, looking through a holographic screen and watching the road from Tom's perspective.]
Dr. Robotnik: Eeny, meeny, miny…mayhem!
[Robotnik selects the bot of his choice and sends it out to pursue the duo. Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day. A large battle machine equipped for traveling on roads drives down the road. Cut back to Sonic and Tom.]
Sonic: You're not making any sense!
Tom: Would you calm down?
Sonic: You come from a great town with great people and, by my count, zero bad guys trying to kill you!
[The drone car catches up to Sonic and Tom]
Sonic: Besides, what could possibly be more important than protecting the people you care about?
[Tom thinks for a second while Dr. Robotnik initiates a weapon for the drone car, a large harpoon]
Tom: Look, I get your poi--
[The drone car fires the harpoon straight through the back of the truck and catches the dashboard, making Tom and Sonic yell. Scene Change: Robotnik's truck interior, day.]
Dr. Robotnik: Yeah!!!
[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day. As Tom swerves to yank the harpoon loose, Robotnik activates the drone car's winch and it pulls Tom's truck slowly towards it]
Sonic: You know what? I was wrong about you. You're not the Donut Lord at all! You're more like…the Jerk Lord!
Tom: Have you noticed the harpoon stuck in our dash?!
[Tom slams on the gas pedal and the harpoon starts coming loose, and Tom slams the truck against a traffic barrier, knocking Sonic out of the truck and onto the windshield]
Tom: Sonic!
Sonic: [Starts radiating blue energy] I was forced from my home! Your home is perfect, and you're leaving it! Why would you do that?!
Tom: Your body!
Sonic: Oh, no, no, no, no, not again!
Tom: Hey, hold on!
Sonic: Why!
Tom: Because I'm gonna do this!
[Tom slams on the gas pedal again and the harpoon lets go of the dashboard and Sonic goes flying before he curls into a Spin Attack and runs into the drone car, releasing an electromagnetic pulse that knocks the drone car on its side. Tom then turns his truck around and drives back to Sonic]
Tom: Sonic! [Notices Sonic in his ball form] Sonic!
Sonic: [Uncurls and gets up slowly, groaning] Guess I had a bonus life. [Notices the drone car on its side and runs up to it] Oh, yeah, baby! [Does a funny dance] Sonic, one. Big tank, zero. I'm sorry. Did we get that on camera?
Tom: How are you not dead? 
Sonic: I have no idea! Do you see me dancing?
Tom: Yes, I saw you dancing. 
Sonic: [To the drone car] Is that all you got?!
[Scene Change: Robotnik's truck interior, day.]
Dr. Robotnik: No, but thank you for asking.
[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day. Robotnik sends out another robot drone to continue the pursuit.]
Sonic: Uh-oh.
Tom: Sonic! Get back in the truck!
Sonic: You go! I'll catch up!
[Tom drives away and Sonic zips back to the truck and climbs in. He then notices a smaller car drone that just deployed from the damaged drone car.]
Sonic: I think that tank just had a baby.
[The smaller drone car prepares its weapon, a homing mine dispenser, and shoots homing mines at the truck.]
Sonic: Incoming!
[Tom swerves to avoid being caught in the explosion, and the homing mine heads straight for a minivan ahead of Tom.]
Boy: It's my turn!
Girl: You just had one! It's mine!
[The girl and the boy are fighting over a tablet.]
Father: Hey, stop fighting or I'm taking that thing away!
Girl: Yeah, right, Dad.
[The homing mine attaches itself  underneath the minivan and unleashes an electromagnetic pulse, sending it flying and the family screaming until the minivan stops. Meanwhile, Sonic climbs to the back of Tom's truck.]
Tom: Where are you going?
Sonic: Just drive the car. I'll take care of this. And if I don't make it, just ditch me. You seem good at that.
[Sonic jumps from the back of the truck and runs towards several more homing mines, throwing one at another, skating on two of them, and he finally approaches the smaller drone car with a homing mine in his hand and he peers right into the robot's camera and starts imitating a streamer, which infuriates Robotnik.]
Sonic: Hey, everybody! Welcome back to my livestream! Today, we're destroying robots! Step one, errrap!
[Sonic slams the homing mine down on the smaller drone car and the electromagnetic pulse sends it veering off course and crashing into hills while Sonic watches from inside Tom's truck.]
Sonic: Yes, we did it!
[Now a new type of robot continues the pursuit]
Sonic: We did not do it. Who is this guy?
[Scene Change: Robotnik's truck interior, day.]
Dr. Robotnik: Ever wondered where your tax dollars are going?
[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day.]
Tom: My turn. [Unbuckles himself] Here, just keep us going straight. I put us in cruise control.
[Tom and Sonic switch seats.]
Sonic: [At the wheel] Ha-ha, I feel just like Vin Diesel!
[Tom reaches for a flashlight.]
Sonic: "It's all about family, Tom."
[The segway robot brandishes sharp spikes on both sides of the wheel as it catches up with Tom's truck. Tom opens the door and prepares to attack. He swings the flashlight but the robot dodges.]
Sonic: Quick suggestion. Roll up into a ball and smash him with your body. 
Tom: Whoa! Where'd you learn how to drive?!
Sonic: Here, in this truck. It's happening as we speak!
[Sonic swerves the truck to dodge the robot.]
Tom: I can't reach it! Bring him in closer!
Sonic: What?
Tom: Bring it in closer! Hit the brakes!
Sonic: Oh, you mean this one? [Steps on the gas pedal instead]
Tom: The other brakes!
[Sonic steps on the brakes and gives Tom the opportunity he needs and he swings the flashlight upward, knocking it over]
Tom: Ha-ha! Whoo! [Climbs back inside the truck]
[Scene Change: Robotnik's truck interior, day.]
Dr. Robotnik: OHHHH!!! GIVE ME A BIG, FAT, BREAK!!
[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day. Robotnik sends out one last robot, a tiny helicopter, and it catches up to Tom's truck.]
Sonic: [Notices the helicopter] Aww, this one is cute. Let's keep him.
[The helicopter starts slicing through the metal of the truck, working its way around the window frames.]
Tom: Oh, come on!
Sonic: How could something so adorable be so terrible!?
[The helicopter is almost done slicing]
Sonic: You've got car insurance, right?
[The whole window frame comes loose and flies off, causing Sonic and Tom to scream. Then, Sonic grabs the helicopter]
Sonic: Buzz off.
[Sonic yanks off the body, but now the core is stuck to his hand and starts beeping like a time bomb]
Sonic: That doesn't sound good.
Tom: No, beeping is bad! Get rid of it!
Sonic: I'm trying! [Tries to shake the bomb off his hand]
Tom: Throw it out the win-- throw it anywhere!
Sonic: I can't get it off!
Tom: All right, I'm pulling over!
[Tom pulls over and drives a little ways away while Sonic tries to get the bomb off his hand, until he thinks he got rid of it.]
Sonic: Did I get it?
Tom: [Notices the bomb stuck to Sonic's forehead] Nope. [Runs to Sonic with a handkerchief] Here, hold still.
[Tom pries the bomb off Sonic's head and throws it far away.] 
Sonic: It's going, it's going…! it's still here.
[Tom holds his hands up and notices the bomb now stuck to his hand and he tries to shake it off as well but Sonic gets it off his hand and tries prying it off his own hand with a stick.]
Sonic: Get off me!
[It works as the bomb is now stuck to a large rock]
Sonic: Ha-ha! Nailed it!
[The bomb explodes, sending Sonic flying and Tom jumps off the ground from the shockwave. After the dust settles, he sees Sonic lying unconscious on the ground.]
Tom: Sonic! [Runs to Sonic and gently turns him over] No, no… [Presses his ear against Sonic's chest and looks around] Hey, come on. You're all right. Wake up. Wake up.
[Scene Change: Robotnik's truck interior, day. Robotnik is panting and breathing heavily with Agent Stone watching.]
Agent Stone: Did we get ‘em? No, no, there they are. They're real survivors, those two.
Dr. Robotnik: [Turns to Agent Stone] Can we have a moment?
[Both Robotnik and Agent Stone walk over to a wall]
Dr. Robotnik: Pin yourself to the wall.
[Agent Stone does so and Dr. Robotnik presses his face almost very close to Agent Stone's]
Dr. Robotnik: You know, I won't miss you when you're gone. Human beings are unreliable and stupid, and I care very little about them. But my machines are diligent and relentless...THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME.
[Robotnik notices a blue light glowing from inside Agent Stone's coat and pulls out Sonic's quill and inspects it.]
Dr. Robotnik: 面白い... (Interesting...)
[Robotnik presses the tip of the quill to his tongue and the energy gives him a shock, making his head twitch violently.]
Dr. Robotnik: Hmm?
[He tries handing the quill to Agent Stone, who looks a little confused.]
== Act 8: We're Here ==
[Scene Change: San Francisco, California, day.]
[Tom drives Sonic to Rachel's house and carries him to the front door wrapped in a blanket.]
Tom: Come on, buddy. You're gonna be all right. You'll be all right.
[Tom knocks on the door and Rachel answers.]
Tom: Is Maddie here?
Rachel: No, no. Not today. Goodbye! [Slams the door in Tom's face]
Tom: It's an emergency! [Tries to get in]
Rachel: Bye-bye!
Tom: Rachel, stop! Please! Maddie! Don't do this! This is important!
Maddie: [Walks in and tries to let Tom in] Oh, my God! Rachel, let him in!
[Tom runs inside.]
Rachel: I am calling the police! No, I am calling the FBI. I am calling the CIA.
Tom: Stop, don't do that.
Rachel: I am calling your mother!
Maddie: Okay, got it!
Tom: Maddie, can we talk?
Maddie: Tom, what's going on?! You're-you're all over the news, I've been trying to call you!
Tom: I had to ditch my phone so they couldn't track me. 
Rachel: Ditch his phone?!
Maddie: Track you?!
Jojo: [Run to Tom] Uncle Tommy! [Hugs Tom]
Tom: Jojo, hey! 
Rachel: [Pulls Jojo away from Tom] Now your niece is an accessory to treason!
Tom: No, she's not.
Maddie: Would you calm down?
Rachel: Calm down?! I will not calm down!
[Ozzy walks in as Maddie and Rachel argue with each other.]
Maddie: Enough!
Tom: Yes, calm down. Stop talking.
[Ozzy barks at him]
Tom: No. Ozzy, please. Good to see you, too.
[Tom leans forward a little, which almost gives Sonic away.]
Rachel: Oh, Little Lord Baby Jesus! What is that, Tom? Is that plutonium?! Is it e-mails?
Tom: Yes, it's plutonium. [To Maddie] Can we please go in the other room and talk--
[Ozzy barks again.]
Tom: Stop it, Ozzy! Quit it!
Rachel: This is why I told you he was no good!
Maddie: I'm not engaging!
Tom: No, Ozzy! Quit it!
[Ozzy starts tugging on the blanket and everyone is arguing all at once]
Tom: Ozzy, no! Ozzy, no!
[Ozzy yanks the blanket off, revealing what Tom is carrying and everyone stops talking.]
Rachel: Oh, catch me, Jojo. [Faints]
Tom: [Panting] Oh, thank God.
[Maddie pulls Jojo close to her.]
Tom: Can I get a glass of water?
[Scene Change: Robotnik's truck interior, day. Robotnik puts on a pair of headphones and opens a music playlist called Tunes of Anarchy on his holographic computer, and the song "Where Evil Grows" by The Poppy Family plays as he spins around in his chair and begins to analyze Sonic's quill. He touches some power conductors to the quill, which causes the power inside his lab to go out. Robotnik is now carrying a match to see where he's going and he opens up the breaker panel and turns on the backup power and the music resumes with Robotnik dancing and lights flashing as the quill is inserted into a capsule. Robotnik then starts playing holographic videos of a snowcap and a Tyrannosaurus Rex running down the street and dances along with them to fit the theme like skiing down the slopes and running away from the dinosaur. During the T-Rex chase, Robotnik mimics his head getting chomped by the dinosaur and keeps dancing as the lights in his truck flash like strobelights. And as Robotnik dances, he doesn't notice Agent Stone dancing with him. Eventually, he does notice and he screams as the music and flashing lights stop.]
Agent Stone: [Holding two coffee cups] I just thought you might like a latte with steamed Austrian goat milk!
Dr. Robotnik:...what do I look like, an imbecile? Of course I want a latte! I LOVE THE WAY YOU MAKE THEM!!
[Robotnik and Agent Stone hear a beeping noise (akin to a microwave) and they see the power level of Sonic's quill is at "UNLIMITED", which makes Robotnik smile evilly.]
Dr. Robotnik: Ready the prototype. With this kind of power, my machines can finally reach their full potential.
[Scene Change: Kitchen, Rachel's house, day. Sonic is lying unconscious on the kitchen table.]
Tom: He's gonna be okay, Jojo.
[Maddie walks in with her first aid kit.]
Tom: Oh, thank God. He's gonna be okay, right? 
Maddie: I'm a vet, Tom. I don't even know what I'm looking at here.
Tom: He's a hedgehog. Or so he says.
Maddie: It talks?
Tom: Almost constantly.
Maddie: Okay. [Feels for Sonic's pulse] Holy…
Tom: What?
Maddie: His pulse is super fast.
Tom: That actually might be normal for him. I don't know. You gotta help him, Maddie.
Maddie: I don't know his physiology. He doesn't seem to have any broken bones. He's just really banged up. [Takes off Sonic's shoes] Oh, look at his poor little feet.
[Jojo looks at Sonic's worn-out shoes.]
Tom: Hang in there, buddy. You're gonna be all right.
[Jojo walks out of the kitchen and past Rachel, who is tied up in the living room.]
Rachel: Jojo? Untie your mother. Jojo! Untie Mommy.
[Jojo ignores Rachel as she goes upstairs.]
Rachel: Sweetie. Jojo! [Looks around] I have to go to the bathroom.
Tom: He's gonna be okay, right? He'll snap out of this. He'll wake up soon? Oh, smelling salts! Don't you have, like, vet smelling salts, like, for cats or parakeets or something?
Maddie: No. They don't make cat smelling salts.
Tom: They should.
Maddie: I have HUMAN smelling salts in my HUMAN first aid kit. [Opens up the kit and takes out the smelling salts] Okay. [Cracks the capsule and holds it close to Sonic's nose.] Here we go.
Tom: Come on, buddy.
[As soon as he gets a whiff of the smelling salts, Sonic immediately wakes up and talks very fast.]
Sonic: Gotta go fast!!
[Sonic starts zipping and speeding all over the kitchen before coming to a complete stop back at the table.]
Sonic: Where am I? What year is it? Is The Rock president?
Tom: Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy, you're okay. Calm down.
Sonic: [To Maddie] Oh, hi, Pretzel Lady!
Maddie: Hi… Tom?
Tom: Yeah? 
Maddie: Can I talk to you, please? [Leads Tom out of the kitchen and faces Sonic] Space hedgehog, stay there. Try to rest. [Closes the doors]
Sonic: You got it. I am great at resting. I rest faster than anybody.
Tom: Still talking.
Maddie: Um, first of all, can we take a moment to acknowledge how under control I've been? 
Tom: Uh, amazing.
Maddie: Didn't freak out. 
Tom: No.
Maddie: Totally calm. [Fist bumps Tom]
Tom: Thank you.
Maddie *screaming whispering*: Second of all…WHAT the heck is going on?! Is that thing an alien?!
Tom: Okay, so, remember how Crazy Carl is always going on about the blue devil?
Maddie: The Blue Devil! That's him? He's real?
Tom: Yeah. 
Maddie: What is he doing here? What are you doing here? 
Tom: I kinda, sorta, shot our little blue friend with your tranq gun. 
Maddie: No, you did not. [Gives Tom a suspicious look and crosses her arms]
Tom: I didn't mean to. Okay, this is kinda hard for me to explain. And it's gonna sound a little bit crazy. He has to get to the Transamerica building, and I promised I'd take him. 
Rachel: Uh-uh! Aliens? Maddie, your husband's lost his mind. Use this as an opportunity to leave him. No one would judge you! 
[Back in the kitchen, Jojo returns to Sonic and presents him with brand new running shows in red with white straps.]
Jojo: So you won't hurt your feet anymore.
Sonic: Really?
Jojo: Uh-huh.
Sonic: [Takes the shoes] No one's ever given me a gift before. I gotta check that off my bucket list.
[Sonic tries on the shoes and grows excited over them, which makes Jojo happy.]
Sonic: All right! Looking good! 
Maddie: Okay, you said you wanted to help people in real trouble, right? Well, that's what you're doing. Blue alien hedgehogs still count as people, right? 
Tom: I think so, too.
Maddie: Yeah. 
Tom: I think.
Maddie: Okay. 
Tom: I love you. Did I tell you that already?
[Maddie starts leading Tom away.]
Tom: I don't deserve you. You know that?
Rachel: I know that. 
Sonic: [Stares at Ozzy] So, you're supposed to be Tom's "best friend" that he won't shut up about.
[Ozzy has his tongue out.]
Sonic: Well, I don't see the appeal.
[Ozzy walks over to Sonic and starts licking him, which makes him laugh.]
Sonic: Stop! That is very gross! 
Maddie: [Walks downstairs] Hey.
Tom: Hey. So, my truck still runs, but it's pretty much totaled. You think your sister would mind if we borrowed her car? 
Rachel: You have got to be kidding me!
Maddie: She'll be fine.
Tom: Yeah, let's do that. 
Maddie: Mm-hmm.
[Maddie and Tom walk out, leaving Rachel tied up.]
Rachel: This is my house!!
[Scene Change: San Francisco, California, day. Sonic is driving Rachel's beat-up car very dangerously through the streets of San Francisco.]
Sonic: Coming through! Whoa, now, this is my turn, and I go around him! Sorry! And, perfect park! [Parks lopsidedly at the curb.]
Driver: What are you, crazy?!
Tom: [Exits the car] Is there anything you didn't hit?
Maddie: Why did we let the alien drive?
Sonic: Hey, I got us here. And please, five stars.
[Sonic, Tom, and Maddie stare out at the towering Transamerica building.]
Sonic: So, this is it?
Tom: That's it. That's your pyramid.
Sonic: Wow, look at that thing! 
Maddie: What happens now?
[As soon as Maddie finishes her question, Sonic speeds away]
Maddie: Oh! He's… gone.
Tom: Yep. 
Sonic: [Comes back to Tom and Maddie] No good. You need a special key to get to the roof.
Maddie: What now?
Tom: Time for me to abuse the power entrusted to me. 
[Scene Change: Transamerica reception, day. Tom and Maddie walk to the reception desk, with Tom carrying Sonic in a duffle bag. Tom and Maddie nod at each other and they approach the front desk.]
Tom: We got a jumper on the roof. Gotta get up there fast or we're gonna have a human pancake on our hands. [Produces his badge]
Receptionist: You came all the way from Montana.
Tom: Yeah. That's how serious it is.
[There's a prolonged pause as everyone looks at each other until the receptionist hands Tom the key.]
Receptionist: Okay.
[Tom takes the key.]
Tom: You just saved a life.
[Tom and Maddie wait for the elevator to be taken to the roof of the building. As they wait, a businessman and a businesswoman join them, also waiting.]
Sonic: How much longer? I can't breathe in here! Hello? Anybody there?
Businesswoman: Do you have your child in that bag?
Tom: No. I mean, yes, it's a child, but it's not mine.
Businessman: It's not your child?
Tom: Relax. I'm a cop, okay? Plus, he likes it in there, don't you, buddy? [Shakes the bag a little]
Sonic: Why would I like it in here? This is worse than the dog cage you had me in earlier!
Tom: Such a kidder.
[Maddie laughs with him as she closes the zipper]
Maddie: Okay.
Sonic: No, I'm scared of the dark!
[The businessman and businesswoman slowly move away.]
Sonic: Is anybody there?
[Scene Change: Transamerica roof top, day. Tom, Maddie, and Sonic get to the roof of the Transamerica building and they let Sonic out of the duffel bag, who is coughing and gagging and wearing a pair of underwear on his head.]
Sonic: Ugh! What were you keeping in this bag? A jar of pickled farts?! [Takes the underwear off his head and stuffs it back into the bag]
Tom: All right, all right. What are we looking for?
[Sonic sees his Ring satchel and retrieves it and runs back to Tom and Maddie, holding a ring]
Sonic: This. 
Maddie: Okay. What happens now?
Sonic: Now, all I have to do is think of where I want the other end of the ring to appear, and I throw it. 
Tom: So, that's it? We did it?
Sonic: Yeah! We did it!
Tom: Hey, sorry we didn't get to do everything on your bucket list, pal.
Sonic: It's okay. I did the ones I needed the most.
Maddie: You two are so cute.
Tom: Oh, please. What?
Sonic: We are not.
Tom: No.
Sonic: We are not cute. We are a couple of loose cannons just living by our own rules.
Tom: Exactly.
Maddie: Really?
Tom: Yeah.
Sonic: And our rules include expressing heartfelt emotion.
Maddie: If you say so. 
Sonic: Okay, then.
Tom: All right. Um, you gotta go, right?
Sonic: Yeah, I gotta go.
Tom: I gotta go. We gotta go.
Sonic: See-- All right, bye-bye. [Turns away for a moment, then turns back to Tom and Maddie] Just one more thing.
[Tom steps forward and kneels down to Sonic's level.]
Sonic: I'm sorry I was so hard on you. I know it's a tough decision for you to leave Green Hills. Walking away from something you care about has to be painful. 
Tom: You're not sure you really want to go, huh?
Sonic: I don't want to go, but I can't stay. As long as I'm here, I put everyone in danger. I can't do that. I just want you to know that these last two days have been the best two days of my life.
[Sonic smiles and so does Tom as he stands back up and walks back over to Maddie.]
Tom: You know, I never thought I'd say this, but, I'm actually gonna miss you, you little blue devil.
Sonic: I'll miss you too, Donut Lord. Thank you.
Tom: For what?
Sonic: For saving my life.
== Act 9:...oh no. ==
[Sonic turns away, reaches into his satchel, and pulls a Ring out. He tosses it, only to have it bounced off of one of Dr. Robotnik's flying drones, and many more of them start closing in on the trio]
Sonic: Okay, did someone leave their "Find My Phone" on?
[Sonic steps back a few feet but stops at the edge of the roof, and he sees a flying aircraft overhead, which is Dr. Robotnik's Eggpod. The ship hovers over to the trio and the cockpit opens, revealing Robotnik in an entirely different outfit and with an evil smirk on his face.]
Dr. Robotnik: Welcome to San Francisco, Mr. Wachowski. Are you enjoying the clam chowder?
Tom: [To Maddie] It's the government whack job who keeps trying to kill us. [To Robotnik] Unsuccessfully!
[The remark makes Robotnik scowl]
Tom: Nice of you to swing by on your way to Comic-Con.
Maddie: Yeah, what are you wearing?
Dr. Robotnik: [Looks at his suit and the back to the trio] It's a flight suit, designed to modulate my body temperature and reduce [Through clenched teeth] drag!
Tom: Yeah, and yet you still are one.
Dr. Robotnik: Oh-hoo! Good one. You are catching fire, Thomas. Oh, and speaking of heat, I see you've taken a lover. Does she have a name, or should we just call her "collateral damage"? [Chuckles and drums the sides of the Eggpod with glee.]
Tom: Hey, watch your mouth! Unless you want a little more of what I gave you earlier. [To Maddie] I punched him in the face.
Sonic: You punched him right in the face! It was awesome!
Dr. Robotnik: The time for talking is over! [Through clenched teeth] It's time to push buttons!
Sonic: Your flying eggs are pretty impressive, Mr. Eggman, but let's face it, you'll never catch me!
Dr. Robotnik: Confidence! A fool's substitute for intelligence.
[Robotnik opens a button capsule as the energy from Sonic's quill powers the Eggpod and the flying drones ready their weapons as well.]
Sonic: That's not good.
Tom: Sonic, I know you got the super speed and everything, but Maddie and I--
Sonic: Totally defenseless? Probably gonna get blown up? 
Maddie: Pretty much, yeah. 
Sonic: Don't worry. I know exactly what to do.
[Sonic jumps up to the side wall and jumps forward, pushing Tom and Maddie off the roof, and they scream]
Dr. Robotnik: [Looks down from inside the Eggpod in shock...before then dismissing it] I was not expecting that...but I was expecting not to expect something, so it doesn't count.
[The flying drones fire their weapons at Sonic, but now time seems to have stopped again. He just stands there, tapping his foot and looking at his wrist. He then plays around with some of the missiles and bullets from the Egg Drone weapons and is able to destroy most of them. But Robotnik pushes the button and the quill fully charges the Eggpod and grants him supersonic speed. Sonic is makes a shooting hands gesture to two more Egg Drones, but Robotnik fires a laser blast at the blue hedgehog, which he barely escapes from, causing him to enter slight delirium. Sonic recovers from his trance to find Tom and Maddie still falling and tries to reach for a Ring.]
Sonic: Come on! [Tries air swimming to reach the Ring] Come on, come on, come on!
[Sonic plucks one of his quills out and uses it to grab the Ring and he speeds towards the falling couple and tosses the Ring, opening a portal to a barn for them and they land safely in piles of hay while Sonic loses control.]
Sonic: Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no, no!
[Sonic hits several tree branches and lands on the ground, rings and rubble scattered everywhere Scene Change: Green Hills, Montana, barn, day.] At the barn, Farmer Zimmer greets Tom and Maddie.]
Farmer Zimmer: Oh! Hi, Tom! Glad you're here. Could use some help. Old Bessie's about to give birth!
[A cow inside the barn moos.]
Tom: Give me a minute.
[Scene Change: San Francisco, California, day. Sonic recovers from his fall but notices Robotnik hovering in the air.]
Dr. Robotnik: Can I give you one genius piece of advice? Don't run. It'll only hurt more if you do. And it's bad for your joints, they proved it. 
Sonic: All right, Eggman. You wanna get fast? Let's get fast!
[Sonic scrambles quickly to gather up all of his Rings and speeds off down the street.]
Dr. Robotnik: [Puts on his flight goggles] The hard way it is.
== Act 9.5: Prologue.2 ==
[The cockpit to the Eggpod closes and Robotnik gives chase to Sonic, firing laser blasts at him, only to damage certain road sections. He turns left to continue the pursuit.]
Dr. Robotnik: That was an illegal left, by the way!
[The same freeze from from the beginning of the film is shown and Sonic picks up the story.]
Sonic (narrating): So, here we are again! We've been through so much together! Now you understand why there's a psychotic robot doctor chasing a supersonic blue hedgehog. Want to know how it ends? Yeah, me too!
[The pursuit continues as Sonic continues to dodge laser blasts from Robotnik, even sliding under a large trailer to avoid them.]
Sonic: How is this possible?! No one's ever caught up to me before!
[Sonic holds a ring, planning the next location Scene Change: Paris, France, day. A mime is entertaining a little girl and her mother. When the mime makes a circular movement with his hands, a Ring portal opens up behind them, and Sonic zips through.]
Sonic: Coming through!
[Robotnik follows behind and the mime moves out of the way.]
Mime: Sacrebleu!
Dr. Robotnik: Excusez-moi, monsieur! [He then giggles before resuming the chase.]
[Scene Change: China, day. The pursuit continues along the Great Wall of China]
Sonic: Here we go! Room to open it up!
[The two increase their speed until Sonic tosses another ring, opening a new portal.]
Sonic: I can't lose him!
[Scene Change: Egypt, day. Robotnik fires multiple laser blasts from the Eggpod, hitting the Great Sphinx of Giza in the process. Sonic skids to a stop in the sand.]
Sonic: If you can't beat ‘em, blind ‘em!
[Sonic catches up to Robotnik and uses his speed to create a whirlwind of sand, which disrupts Robotnik's visual contact.]
Dr. Robotnik: Lost…visual contact! [Sees Sonic speed up the Great Pyramid of Giza] You're not allowed up there! It's one of the Seven Wonders!
[Robotnik blasts out of the whirlwind, and just as Sonic opens another ring portal, Robotnik fires a laser blast at Sonic, sending him flying through the portal and hurtling him onto the streets of Green Hills where he lays motionless and unconscious.]
[Scene Change: Green Hills, Montana, night. Robotnik menacingly appears through the portal as it closes. Tom, Maddie, and the farmer rush to see what the commotion is all about when Robotnik cackles loudly and takes off his flight goggles.]
Dr. Robotnik: You're an astonishing little creature! It'll be fun to take you back to the lab for a litany of invasive exploratory procedures. Any last words?
Sonic: [With his last remaining strength] Guac… I like that word…
[Sonic slumps over on the ground and Tom appears behind Robotnik via a Ring portal.]
Dr. Robotnik: I don't have to tell you how many scientific breakthroughs have been made possible by animal testing. You're being very selfish.
Tom: Going my way?
[Robotnik notices Tom]
Dr. Robotnik: What the--
[Tom punches Robotnik, knocking his flight glasses off his head, and the two start fighting inside the Eggpod. Robotnik grabs Tom by his shirt]
Dr. Robotnik: Who the **** do you think you are?!
[Tom breaks free, punches Robotnik in the face again, and grabs him.]
Tom: I'm the Donut Lord, you son of a--
[Tom gets elbowed in the gut, and he is thrown off the Eggpod when Robotnik jerks the steering yoke and Tom lands on the ground.]
Dr. Robotnik: Autopilot, adjust!
[Robotnik puts his flight goggles back on his head and Maddie rushes to Tom.]
Dr. Robotnik: Why? Why would you throw your life away for this...thing? That's why I don't have friends. Next thing you know, you're somebody's best man, they want to have the wedding out of town... Like nobody has anything better to do! Anyway, where were we? Oh, yes--you were about to die.
[Suddenly, a bullet ricochets off the Eggpod and we see that it was Wade who fired his gun.]
Wade: That's our sheriff you're messing with!
[Tom looks up as some of his friends join Wade]
Crazy Carl: And our Blue Devil, [Holds up a chainsaw] who, as everyone can see, is a very real creature and not at all invented by me!
[Wade gently pushes the chainsaw away.]
Wade: Careful. Just-- just put it away.
Maddie: [Looks over to an unconscious Sonic] Tom?
[Tom also sees Sonic unconscious in the street, and both of them feel the grief and guilt...with the possibility of him being dead fresh on their minds.]
Dr. Robotnik: I don't mean to be indelicate here, but...someone should get some ice to keep the body fresh.
[Tom lowers his head.]
Dr. Robotnik: He's just a silly little alien. He didn't belong here!
[Tom looks over at Robotnik and stands up.]
Tom: That little alien...knew more about being human...than you ever will. His name was Sonic. This was his home...and he was my friend.
[Upon hearing Tom's speech, Sonic immediately opens his eyes and stands up as his body is now supercharged with his own energy, leaving Dr. Robotnik bewildered, and Tom and Maddie smiling.]
Tom: He's all yours! [Leads Maddie out of the way] Everyone get back!
[Everyone else moves out of the way]
Sonic: I think you have something that belongs to me!
[Sonic clenches a fist, which starts to siphon the energy from his quill in Robotnik's Eggpod until it is no longer glowing and the energy has now been transferred back to Sonic]
Sonic: This is my power, and I'm not using it to run away anymore. I'm using it to protect… my… friends!
[Dr. Robotnik puts on his flight goggles and readies the Eggpod's concealed weapons, the laser markers pointing at Sonic, who sets a start position on the road. Robotnik smirks and fires the weapons and Sonic leaps into action, dodging the projectiles and starts to bombard the vehicle with body slams, each barrage increasing in speed until the Eggpod is now disabled, which infuriates Robotnik.]
Dr. Robotnik: Now, you've done it!
Sonic: Guess what, Eggman? I'm not leaving Earth. YOU are! Donut Lord?
[Tom nods and takes position behind Robotnik and throws a Ring, opening a portal to the Mushroom Planet. Then, both Robotnik and Sonic charge at each other, but Sonic lands a powerful blow to the Eggpod, sending it and a screaming Dr. Robotnik through the portal, which it soon closes on its own, sealing Robotnik away. The electricity emanating from Sonic fades away with the crowd cheering for Sonic's victory as Tom reunites with him.]
Tom: I told you, you got this.
Sonic: Hey, we got this.
[Tom holds his hand up for a high-five, which excites Sonic so much that he happily laughs and runs around in a circle at super speed before jumping up and giving Tom the high-five, whom he soon hands over the Ring satchel back to Sonic.]
Tom: I think these belong to you.
Sonic: Thank you very much.
[But before Tom can give Sonic the Rings, he makes one final "rule".]
Tom: No more pushing people off buildings.
Sonic: You know I can't promise that.
[Tom give the Ring satchel back to Sonic.]
Tom: You did pretty good, space 'hog.
Sonic: Thanks, Donut Lord. 
Maddie: You're gonna have to explain this "Donut Lord" thing. 
Tom: Nope, sorry.
[Maddie laughs.]
Tom: That's between me and the little guy. Right?
[Sonic nods]
Tom: We got our own thing, you got your thing with your…sister.
Maddie: Oh, my God, my sister. 
[Scene Change: Rachel's house, day. Jojo runs around the house while Rachel is still tied up.]
Jojo: Gotta go fast! Gotta go fast! Gotta go fast! Gotta go fast! 
Rachel: Jojo, put on my Fitbit…so I can at least get some steps.
[Scene Change: Green Hills, Montana, night.]
Maddie: We can never go back there. 
Tom: I mean, are we?
[Tom and Maddie exchange looks.]
Tom: ‘Cause it kinda feels like we're home right now. 
Maddie: Really?
Tom: I kinda feel like I checked the "save a life" box off my bucket list. Now all I want to do is spend my life with the people I care about. I want to check that box. 
Maddie: Yeah, I like that.
[Maddie and Tom hug.]
Wade: All right, everybody. Nothing to see here. [Claps his hands together] Let's disperse.
[Everyone goes back to their normal routine.]
Wade: Just another ordinary day in Green Hills. Carl, I'll take that chainsaw.
[Tom, Maddie, and Sonic walk home together while Wade continues to disperse the crowd.]
Wade: Come on, let's go! You act like you've never seen a fight between an intergalactic space rodent and a robot with a doctorate!
[Scene fades out.]
== Act 10: The Epilogue ==
[Scene: Green Hills, Montana, day. Everything is back to normal and Tom and Maddie are fixing their house from the attack a couple of days before.]
Tom: You got enough there? 
Maddie: Yes, Mr. Manager.
Tom: Need any more? [Playfully sticks a roller brush in front of Maddie]
Maddie: You get that away! 
[Suddenly, a knock at the front door. Tom answers it to find Commander Walters on the doorstep.] 
Commander Walters: Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski? 
Tom: Yes?
[Commander Walters reaches into his coat and hands them an envelope.]
Commander Walters: A token of appreciation for your government for keeping quiet about recent incidents which never occurred. 
Tom: Wow! [Takes the envelope] Wonder what it is.
Maddie: Money to fix the house? 
Tom: Letter from the president?
Commander Walters: You'll see.
Tom: Okay.
[Tom opens the envelope, revealing a $50 gift card to Olive Garden.]
Maddie: Olive Garden.
Tom: Yeah, heh. The way you said "You'll see" made me think it was something better than the things we said.
Commander Walters: Have you tried their Never Ending Pasta Bowl? It never ends.
Tom: That sounds…fancy.
Maddie: Mm-hmm. Well, thank you. We appreciate the gesture.
Tom: Oh, hey. I guess we can close the file on that Robotnik guy, huh? Just disappeared.
Commander Walters: I'm sorry, but no such person exists or ever has existed.
Tom: I wish that were true.
Commander Walters: You haven't, by any chance, been in contact with a certain alien creature since the incident, have you? Uncle Sam would love to have a chat with him. Very casual. Brunch, perhaps.
Tom: Oh, you mean the little blue guy? No. No, nothing. No.
Maddie: Mm-mmm. 
Tom: Doubt we'll ever hear from him again.
Maddie: Mm-mmm. 
Commander Walters: Very well.
Tom: Okay. Thank you.
Maddie: Great.
[Commander Walters glances inside the house but Tom slowly closes the door.]
Tom: Yep.
[Commander Walters tries to peek inside a little more, but the door is now fully closed.]
Tom: To be honest, I'm pretty pumped about the pasta bowl.
[Tom and Maddie walk into the living room and Sonic pokes his head up from behind the couch.]
Sonic: So, do you guys wanna watch a movie or what?
Maddie: Sorry, buddy. It's a school night. It's time for you to go back to your cave. 
Sonic: What?! [Jumps up from behind and sits on the couch next to Ozzy] It's 3:00 in the afternoon!
Tom: You know how you get when you're tired. Come on.
Sonic: Me? I'm not like anything. Ugh, you guys are so uncool!
Tom: Yeah, yeah, we know.
[Sonic starts making his way to the front door.]
Tom: Hey, buddy, where you going?
Sonic: You said I have to go back to my cave.
Tom: We did.
[Tom and Maddie smile. Tom opens the hatch to the attic and they let Sonic go in first, and he is visibly surprised that all of his possessions from the cave in the woods are now in the attic.]
Sonic: Oh, my-- Are you kidding me? I can't believe it. How did you-- It's-- it's all here...
[Tom and Maddie climb up as well and Sonic starts zipping around his possessions and furniture]
Sonic: Look at this! Are you kidding?! And the beanbag?! No way! How did you even get this?! And you got it all the way over--
[Sonic laughs, then flosses on his bed and jumps up and down a few times.]
Sonic: I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it!
[Sonic lays down and then sits up as Tom and Maddie sit next to him]
Maddie: Well, welcome home.
Sonic: Thank you, so much.
[As the camera zooms out of the attic and shows a bird's eye view of Green Hills, Ozzy starts barking.]
Sonic *off-screen*: Oh, no, you don't! No second-best animal friends allowed in my room.
[Ozzy barks again.]
Sonic *off-screen*: Wait, what are you doing? Stay away from me! Stop it! I'm warning you, I've got nunchucks! Hey, stop! Okay, you can stay!
[The film's logo from the beginning of the movie is shown once more and we see one final scene before the credits.] 
== Act 11: Oh, and one more thing... ==
[Scene Change: Mushroom Planet, day]
[We see that Dr. Robotnik has completely lost his sanity, he is looking zany, and looking at his reflection in a puddle of water as he finishes shaving himself completely bald, and his mustache has long grown-out.] 
Dr. Robotnik: My grasp on sanity remains... absolute. [Turns his head] Isn't that right, Agent Stone?
[We see a stone carving of what is supposed to be Agent Stone. Robotnik picks up the rock]
Robotnik: Why don't you get a head start? [Tosses the rock]  Do some Rock-Connaissance! HAHAHAHAHA! ROCK-CONNAISSANCE! Come on, that's hilarious! [Bumps a mushroom] What's the matter with you?! [Picks up his doctor's log, which reads, DOCTOR'S LOG: DAY 87] Here's the "sitch": Uninhabited planet, [Picks up a large backpack and puts it on his back] no resources, no supplies, no apparent way home... A lesser man would die here. [Holds up a small canister housing Sonic's quill] I'll be home by Christmas.
[Robotnik puts the capsule away and puts his flight goggles on and imitates servomotor noises with each turn of his body as he walks. He sees the stone carving of Agent Stone again, picks it up, and throws it one last time.]
Robotnik: ROCK-CONNAISSANCE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Come on! Cheer up! 
[The credits roll with a 16-Bit Sega Genesis retelling of the entire film while "Speed Me Up" by Wiz Khalifa, Lil Yachty, Ty Dolla $ign, and Sueco The Child plays.]
[Scene: Green Hills, Montana, day.]
[The camera zooms out of the view of Green Hills before showing leaves rustling as a Ring portal opens 
== Act 11.5:...just kidding, here's your reward for watching the movie. ==
and a yellow two-tailed fox pops out, which is revealed to be Tails, and he is reading the energy levels from Sonic from a small handheld device.]
Tails: If these readings are accurate, he's here. I found him! I just hope I'm not too late.
[Tails uses his tails like a helicopter to fly over the forests and into the town and the rest of the credits roll.]
== Title Cards ==
* [Paramount Pictures Presents appears in white letters and disappears] *
* [In Association with Sega Sammy Group appears in white letters and disappears] **
* [An Original Film Production appears in white letters and we see a closeup of a younger-looking Sonic running across the terrain as the text disappears] ***
* [A Marza Animation Planet/Blur Studio Production appears in white letters] ****
* The Sonic The Hedgehog main logo for the film appears, reading out Sonic in bright blue lining and The Hedgehog in a red square underneath and the scene changes] *****
* [Scene: Green Hills, Montana, 10 years later, day.] ******
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Category:Transcripts
Category:Paramount Pictures Transcripts