Light Yagami vs Dexter Morgan

The megalomaniac mass murderer from Death Note, Light Yagami, raps against the serial killer and blood analyst from Dexter, Dexter Morgan, to see which serial killer that kills criminals is better.
== Cast ==
Some Japanese teenager I guess as Light Yagami 
Jacksfilms as Dexter Morgan 
Nice Peter as Dexter's victim (cameo)
== Locations ==
Light Yagami: Ibaraki Hospital
Dexter Morgan: Kill Room
== Story ==
The camera fades into a dark room, a single light wiping the area. A naked, middle-aged man is seen strapped to a silver table. Stirring from a drugged sleep, the man immediately resists his confines, screaming for help. A door parallel to him opens, and a younger, red-haired man enters the room.
"The Riverside Ripper, I presume," the red-haired man states. The criminal screams in terror, to which the other imitates "FUUUUCK! Screaming won't save you." The man coldly says this while plugging a buzzsaw into the wall, now whirring.
The man stands over the table, bringing the saw closer and closer to his victim's chest. Before he can murder the criminal he's captured, he hears something behind him. A flipping of pages. He glances to the doorway, the figure of a man standing there.
"Dexter Morgan," the figure confirms, stepping towards the light, revealing a young Japanese man. "Forensics analyst, works for the police. Passes his time hunting and brutally murdering his suspects. Oh, how you've wronged the world. You shall see JUSTICE! For I.. am KIRA!" Kira yells excitedly as he opens a notebook labeled Death Note, and clicks his pen.
"Huh, Light Yagami, right?" Dexter asks.
"Wh-what? How could... how could you possibly know that?" Light stops in his tracks, baffled by Dexter's question.
"News spreads. You have been a priority of mine for a while. Never thought the fly would come to the spider's web willingly." 
"Well then." 
"Battle?" 
"Battle."
== The Battle ==
(Beat)
=== Announcer: ===
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
DEXTER MORGAN
VS
LIGHT YAGAMI
BEGIN!
=== Light Yagami: ===
Surprise, motherfucker. I've caught you red-handed. 
This bandit lacks a gambit to compete against my planned wits. 
Tonight's the night Light writes your plight in this fight when you catch sight 
As I kill it on the mic and give you quite a fright to make your skin turn pale white. 
You're an American Psycho, haunted by his own sins, 
Wasting time stalking victims, and carelessly leaving out evidence. 
I don't even have to leave my room to target any kind of criminal. 
It's a shame you're an atheist. You'll need to pray to me for a miracle. 
I'm worshiped! I make up rules, and it becomes the law! 
You live by a code, and your episodes show you can't survive a murder withdrawal! 
Kira will have no mercy for this amateur challenger. 
In this hell of a ride, I'll be your guide towards the light with you as my Dark Passenger.
=== Dexter Morgan: ===
Who’s stalking the doctor at work from the shadows? 
Trying to mock the martyr of malice and mad flows? 
Oh, a teenaged journalist who calls himself a God, 
Appointing scapegoats as the Second Kira Broad. 
Listening to the voices in his head, the demons in his room, 
The choices that you’ve made, brought you to your doom. 
Comparing us two is apples to oranges, there’s no pairing of us. 
I swear you’ll wear pain 'til the blade has rust, plus you’re arrogant as fuck! 
I'll put you in a cage; get broken like Doakes! 
Fighting a cop, but running from your folks? (Ha!) 
Lost Lividity to L’s Loss, you should have Mello’d out. 
Your fate is Near! Screams won’t save you, so yell it out!
=== Light Yagami: ===
The Bay Harbor Butcher's getting sliced to bits when I spit a sharp diss. 
You put your first wife in peril and abandoned your next one with your kid, 
So if you want the fate you gave your bro, I'll make blood splatter on this analyst 
And pull the plug on you to end your life like you did to your sis! 
=== Dexter Morgan: ===
Don’t talk about that! You animated outlandish literal maggot! 
‘Cause Kiras get capped up and wrapped in plastic! 
Now you’re barefaced, I tear pages and you’re scared straight! 
Leave you in pairs, bloody squares, scattered across the fucking staircase!
== Story ==
After Dexter's final line, the beat dies and the camera turns to black. Coming back, a dilapidated bathroom is shown. In the middle of the room is a puddle of blood, a knife a small ways from it. The camera pans to the left, showing Light laying down next to a bathtub and toilet, chained, a remote beside him. Panning to the right, Dexter is also laying down and chained to pipes, a box television set and a syringe nearby. The television set turns on, a deep voice commanding the two to wake up, followed by an electric shock noise, which stirs the two captives from pain.
"What the fuck!?" Dexter yells. He and Light gather their thoughts, and stare in horror at the TV, revealing a puppet.
== The Battle ==
(Beat)
=== Jigsaw: ===
Hello, Morgan and Yagami. You don’t know me, but I got your names. 
You both have wronged humanity. So, I want to play a game. 
Dexter’s Laboratory over here has made him a mad scientist. 
Haunted by his mother’s death, caused by violence. 
And let’s shine some Light on this, a student jotting pages, 
Haunting demons, full of cadence, always causing slayings. 
It’s about time you two faced what both your victims have; 
Dexter has a syringe in hand, adrenaline in fact, 
And Light has a remote, kills either of you with electricity. 
Elect wisely who you shock, yourself or your enemy. 
If you choose him, his shot will put him back to life, 
In the middle of the room, there is a bloody knife, 
Dexter can kill you like he’s planned, but then he’ll have a heart attack 
As the shot holds an overdose, I hope you can pardon that. 
So choose, Light, because you can kick the can instead, 
Either or, see you later. 
(The puppet disappears from the screen, revealing himself to be Dexter's victim from earlier.)
By the way, you both Saw me dead.
=== Announcer: ===
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES-
(Electrical buzzing and screaming can be heard.)
UHH… OF HISTORY!