The AMAZING Adventures of ELVER

Hello. I am Elver. And I am the greatest hero... EVER.
And this… hm, THIS, is my book. The prologue of my book.
If you’re wondering why I seem to be speaking… and things presumably like that dot dot dot that may or may not be there keep appearing… is because I am not writing. I am speaking a to prison guard, of the Seawing variety. Who seems appropriately both grateful and ticked off.
Grateful: as I gave him a substantial amount of gold to write this…
Ticked off: most likely because he’s writing this.
Just writing away… writing, writing, writing, writing wri
He seems to have stopped a while ago, I believe because he didn’t want to keep writing, ‘writing’ for the fourty two seconds I had been repeating it. Alright, enough fluff, and enough fooling around. This is MY story, and it’s about time I got down to telling it.
The TRUE story, of me. Elver. Get that in your head, because you’re going to be hearing quite a bit about me.
=== Welcome. You’ll have a wonderful time. ===
Before I got mixed up in heroic deeds, mafias, and mandibles, I was just a little, insignificant Seawing boy. Smaller than usual. Chunky. And very strangely colored.
“Why is he… white?” Were the first words I remember. Apparently father is colorblind and cannot see I am also GREEN.
I never met my mother, and my father always seemed paranoid about something. I would soon figure out why, but back to then…
I grew up in the Sea Kingdom, as you may have expected, and I was GLORIOUS. Swimming in the water, sunlight reflecting off my scales, just swimming away into the deep, deep ocean. Really, I was gorgeous. 
The guard looks somewhat uncomfortable.
Oh, whatever. Anyways, I read multiple scrolls about this ‘Turtle’ character, one of the dragons who stopped that big old evil guy a while ago. Mostly fiction, I now presume.
There were tales of giant trees enchanted to hide him from both sight and mind… an action packed reading of him valiantly sneaking into the original Night Kingdom to face its king himself… and a heartbreaking tale of true love gone horribly, horribly wrong.
I heard something about how he had never actually spoken with the dragon it was about beforehand, but I decided not to ruin my childhood, and kept well clear of that conversation. 
One day, a horrid storm rocked the sea. A TSUNAMI WASHED ME AWAY. 
I woke up, half dead on a deserted island. No food, no shelter, no fire… nothing. Thankfully I was able to... heroically... jump back into the sea, and search for the Deep Palace once again.
I stopped to rest at another island when IT struck me. 
The coconut that changed my destiny.
You see, there was a prophecy to be told… and THIS… was how it started…
(I don’t know quite how to write this down, but the best description for his next action is maniacal laughter. I guess this could be an editors note, but, I am definitely not being payed enough for this. Please send help. Oh, he’s talking again. He’ll probably force me to erase this when he sees it. Well, in that case, if you do see this, thanks for reading.)
=== A QUEST. ===
Wooh, boy, WOW. I really don’t know why I laughed so hard there. Though I am a jolly fellow, you know that!
Anyways, this prophecy thingy, I suppose that’s important.
Uhh… something, something, dragon of white scales blah blah blah, lighting struck tree something or other.
Yes. That was it. Knew I was far too smart to forget it. Imagine forgetting the thing that changed your destiny itself, right?
(He suspiciously cleared his throat here.) 
Well, turns out that the tree… that the destiny coconut fell from… was struck by lightning. It must have happened during the storm! And I, Elver, the great hero, of legend… am still stuck in this stupid cage! WHEN WILL YOU LET ME GO!?!?
(We had an argument with many words included I would rather not list, in case some dragonet sees this.)
Oh fine. Anyways, I Elver, great hero of legend and all that DECIDED… I must be a part of that prophecy, eh? Weird scales. Lighting struck tree. Now that I think about it, the only parts of the prophecy I remember are the parts about me…...... hm.... 
NO! Don’t write that down you fool! I’m supposed to be seeming cool here! Because I am- STOP WRITING THIS INSTANT.
Thank you. A N Y W A Y S, I knew at that moment, that that coconut hitting me painfully on the head was not for nothing. IT WAS MY DESTINY.
I think you get the point.
I decided that I must seek out whoever made this prophecy and ask them if I could join. I mean, they MUST be assembling a team of young heros with unique personalities and tribes to save the day, right?
But first, I had to tell the good news to my father. And that’s when I realized… this was a QUEST. 
Now, while you may be questioning the authenticity of my claims by now, from here on, I can assure you... it is all fact.
My father fought in the Sandwing war of succession, and he used a VERY special, ancestral blade. The blade of my ancestors, an ancestral blade by the name of the Ego Non Mentiri. It belonged to my ancestors. 
I swear.
Anyways, he used this cursed-
Ok, fine, you caught me this time guard. It’s just a normal sword… but he PLOWED through the enemy hordes with the sword, and its history... was stained.
And, it was about to be mine…
(He’s gone quiet. He keeps muttering unsettling things about escaping and about my well-being after said escape. Well, thanks for reading…)
=== The BEGINNING of MY Destiny! ===
I finally made it back to the Deep Palace. I quickly stole-… borrowed… some money from a merchant, and bought some much needed sustenance. Guard, do not snicker because of the word sustenance. Oh really? Of course I know the definition.
Ugh, whatever… then I went to see my father. He was so proud of me, after I had made it back all by myself and fought off all those Sandwings…..... really? I thought I had mentioned that. Well, yes! It was a three on one duel to the death. Their death. They are dead. And I killed them. Yeah.
So, back to the reunion, my father decided to give me his EPICLY AWESOMELY cool sword as a reward for such bravery! Also, something along the lines of it was passed down from his father to him, and he was carrying on a tradition or whatever. That part didn’t matter much.
When I took the blade I felt it’s true power. It really touched my soul that day. I told dad about the destiny coconut and he got so excited he could barely breath. By the time I figured out it was a panic attack, it was over.
He revealed to me a well kept secret… he KNEW the Nightwing who had given the prophecy. Not really much of a secret, then.
He told me that the prophecy was much to dangerous to do anything about, but I quickly slapped him and told him to get his senses back in order. I was (soon to be) the greatest hero of all time! NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS.
If you do, I will do morally questionable things to your knuckles in return.
(I didn’t like the way he looked at me while saying this)
Now, my true destiny had begun. He showed me the location of this Nightwing, and they were in SANCTUARY!?!? That’s days away, I had screamed in his face.
He simply shrugged.
He told me their name was Spectator. What were they going to do, sit on the sidelines while I DID ALL THE WORK?!?! As we will soon find out… well, yes.
I crafted a leather harness for the blade, and it still fits today. Although now it might just be a little too perfect…
And so, I set off on my courageous mission.
=== IT BEGINS... ===
I exited the serene, beautiful sea a day after the storm had passed. And I went into the Rainforest, and was surely going to face the hidden, venom spitting terrors that loomed within…
I hadn’t known what sorts of HORRORS THAT PLACE COULD BE.
Bugs the size of dragonets, deadly snakes coiled around trees, birds eerily eyeing you from afar… and the feeling of being watched.
What WAS THAT? A branch being snapped? It could only mean one thing…
I whipped around and drew my blade, ready to fight off whatever lay in front of me.
Some small, strange brown creature. It had three hideous claws on four beastly, long, skeleton like limbs, and eyes as black as night. Shaggy fur covered its entire body. I was about to strike it down with the force of a true, beautiful god when I was hit in the back of the head with a papaya.
I turned and reeled in horror. It was one of those THINGS! One of those face melting, sarcastic, Nightwing hosting, venom spitting, monsters! It seemed extremely, yet lazily, angry with me and went to pick up the first beast.
(Base by Peregrinecella —>)
I had never seen anything more horrifying in my life.
(He’s gone quiet again, apparently seething over the weird beasts he’s talking about. He’s making tearing motions with his claws and wildly looking between an invisible force and me. He looks both terrified and confused. I fear for my safety. Though now it is time for my shift to be over, I will not sleep soundly as I normally do. If this first scroll of mine is found, I thank you for making it here. I will return to document this ‘quest’ tomorrow. I foresee nightmares tonight.)
=== Let’s talk about FRIENDS. ===
He insessantly babbled in my ear as I attempted to escape by walking quickly away, about seemingly random things. He put the sloth around his neck and continued talking about the “big river boat” they had created for a lake or something, so they could soak up the sun in style… at least, that’s my best guess.
When I told him that I was on a very important quest, his eyes seemed to light up. He asked if he could come along, the ‘bravest’ Rainwing of them all, Cashew. 
(He smiled almost longingly here)
He asked if we wanted to be friends, even though I had barely spoken with him, and tried to kill him. I think it’s obvious, guard… and reader!... that this Rainwing wasn’t too smart. But I didn’t get rid of the thought immediately…
I have had MANY friends. One boyfriend, two girlfriends, nine mutual friends, seven basic friends, a kind of friend, and two best friends. All have abandoned me, for frankly pathetic reasons... my ‘angry emontial reasoning’ and ‘egotistical nature’ and ‘insanity’ being three stupid examples.
1: I use LOGIC to reason, not emotion. Idiot. If you’re being a bad friend, I logically would hide narwhal horn shards in your soup! 
2: I, Elver, am NOT ‘egotistical.’ I am JUST perfect.
3: I’m TALKING to you, aren’t I gaurd? You understand what I’m saying? Boom. Sanity.
I was starting to like this Cashew and his arguably horrifying sloth, and that was the moment I realized that he could be useful. THEY CAN TURN INVISIBLE!
Now, this next part, gaurd, is when I meet my first villains, and the next is when I will meet Spectator, and the REAL adventure begins…
(More maniacal laughter. This whole time I observed him making small gestures with his hands that were a little too obvious for me. I am unsure of their meaning. I will continue to jot down these notes to review them at a later date, and perhaps send in evidence of his… strangeness… to my superiors. This will likely be one of the messages that they will view. I implore you to take a closer watch of this traitor in the future.
-a concerned guard)
=== The Great Adventure ===
Now, I had made it to Spectator’s great cathedral. Now, guard, just come a little bit closer, I really want you to take in the whole scope of the place. Imagine the biggest building you’ve ever seen. Well, let me tell you, it was bigger.
As soon as I saw it, I realized, that the real adventure... well, it begins now...
(He said that last sentence with such malice and slyness I fear what he may do ne
(Hello Pearl……. I know you have probably stopped paying attention to the defense and reconstruction of the Summer Palace treasury to read this, but I had thought we may have time to read it together, when your work was finished. I know that I will most likely be held for questioning, so by the time you see this, I may or may not be back. I’m sure you remember the prisoner Elver. I was set to guard him, obviously, and he’s given me a good amount of money to write down this ‘story’ he almost told. I am sure you’ve heard by now that he lured me closer to him, then grabbed my horn and slammed me against the bars. He did it with such force I was knocked unconscious. I know I will be found and safe soon, but at the time of me writing this, Elver has taken my jail keys, used the padlock and chain to cuff me to the bars of his own cell, and has presumably made his escape. I was the only one on watch, so he has a good time window to get away before anyone checks on me.
I do not know wether Elver has told me a true tale, attempting to gain my trust for that specific moment, or if it was falsified in an effort to escape. I suppose we will never know. It has been a frightening, if short, experience... listening to the ramblings of that lunatic... but deep down, if it was true, he seemed perfectly both willing and able to be good. There may be some bravery… and sanity… within him. I hope he does not commit any more crimes, and does some good with his life. 
Until I see you again, Pearl.
I love you.
-Starfish)
Elver will appear again in The First Talons
Category:Fanfictions
Category:Fanfictions (Semi-Canon)
Category:Fanfictions (Incomplete)
Category:Genre (Comedy)
Category:Genre (Prophecy)
Category:Genre (Adventure)