Stone 29

Chapter 29
Now we return to Kahlan and Chandelier as they enter the royal palace of Ebinissia. They have acquired snowshoes somewhere, though I don't know when or where; maybe Kahlan made them during the week Chandelier and the Boyz took to tan her wolfskin mantle. Regardless, they doff the snowshoes and continue on.
There are dead people, and every indication that they were raped and tortured before death. How charming. All the fine décor has been hacked and defaced as well. Chandelier wants to take some salted meat from the kitchen, but Kahlan insists that whoever did all the killing would also have poisoned all the remaining food, just in case. This seems a little extreme to me; who rapes, tortures and slaughters an entire city, they goes to the trouble of poisoning every last bit of salted meat on the off-chance that some random travelers will happen by?
More gruesome descriptions of dead women who had been raped and murdered, and exactly what had been done to them. I think this counts as “grotesquely sadistic for no good reason.” \~/ This inspires Chandelier to tell Kahlan a story. 
In his grandfather's time, a neighboring tribe called the Jocopo (which is kind of silly, but still far better than “Mud People”) made war on the Mud People and carried off their women to torture and rape and murder. Even Chandelier admits that “We do not know the reason” why the Jocopo suddenly became aggressive (it's because the author was pulling their puppet-strings). The Jocopo were larger than the Mud People and outnumbered them five to one, but the spirits taught the Mud People how to smear mud on themselves and tie grass to their bodies in order to hide. Armed with their new techniques, the Mud People killed the Jocopo. All of them.
Okay, let's examine this tale point by point:
#The Mud People and the Jocopo live as neighbors for however long with no problems.
#The Jocopo spontaneously decided to make war on the Mud People for no apparent reason. Not only did they attack them, but they carried off Mud Women to rape, torture, and murder.
#The spirits taught the Mud People how to smear mud on themselves and tie grass to their limbs. So...does this mean that they never did those things before Chandelier's grandfather's time? And if so, what were they called? Certainly not “the Mud People,” since that name specifically references their habit of coating themselves with magic mud that never dries out. “The People?” I could maybe accept that (plenty of real-world precedent), but not in English; they ought to have a native name for themselves, in...whatever language they speak.
#The Jocopo were physically larger than the Mud People (Chandelier indicates that they were a head taller than he) and outnumbered the Mud People five to one. Despite this, the Mud People slaughtered them handily, with no indication from Chandelier that it was much of an effort.
#The Mud People did not confront the Jocopo directly; rather, the killed them with stealth. “We killed the Jocopo when they hunted food, when they tended their crops, when they cared for their animals, when they went for water, when they went to squat, when they slept. Any Jocopo. Every Jocopo. We did not try to fight them; we only killed them. Until there were no more Jocopo in this world, only in the spirit world.”
So that's about five drinks: two for rampant stupidity, two for the smaller, weaker, less-numerous Mud People slaughtering the Jocopo, and another for heroic victory through assassination and genocide. Huzzah. \~/\~/\~/\~/\~/
Kahlan wonders if this means the Mud People murdered all the Jocopo children, and realizes that it does, since Chandelier specifically noted that there were no more Jocopo. \~/ This does not seem to trouble her much \~/, but she does refer to an aphorism from her lobotomized father: “If war is brought to you, then it is incumbent upon you to show no mercy. Surely you will be shown none, and you will be a traitor to your people and as good as their enemy if you let any clemency slip its bounds, for your people will pay for your mistake with their lives.” 
That's...that's just terrible. That is a terrible philosophy. Ignoring the moral arguments, it closes off all other options and commits one to total war, with no possible outcomes other than victory through genocide or defeat though annihilation. Furthermore, it guarantees that you will become an inhuman monster as you “show no mercy” under any circumstances, and indeed, demonize and punish those that do. This is likely to draw others into the fray against you; look at what happened to Hitler! 
So...yeah. Kahlan's father was a deranged maniac, and he passed this on to his daughter. Lovely. \~/\~/
Kahlan reassures Chandelier that his people “did the only thing they could.” Yes, massacring women and children was clearly the only possible solution. \~/ She then shares another gem from the mind of King Wyborn “Killcrazy” Amnell: “If war is brought to you, then let there be war like your enemy has never imagined in his most frightening nightmares. Anything less, and you hand victory to your foe.”
So now it's not enough to “merely” show no mercy, but one must actively visit horrors upon the enemy. Now, I'm all in favor of ending a conflict as quickly as possible, and sometimes that means striking hard so you don't have to strike twice. But phrases like “ war like your enemy has never imagined in his most frightening nightmares” sound less like a necessary evil and more like...well, horror. And if you don't commit acts of unrelenting horror, you will inevitably lose.
I thought the good guys were supposed to avoid horror and nightmares. \~/\~/
And keep in mind, these ideas are being presented as positive. This is how Terry Goodkind thinks heroes and good role models behave, by committing acts of horror and genocide.
Forget wondering about the man's fetishes; I am now honestly worried that Terry Goodkind will commit some kind of violent crime.
Anyway...Chandelier shows Kahlan a pair of bone daggers. The bones come from Chandelier's father and grandfather, respectively, and when he has a son they will remove and bury the one of Chandelier's grandfather and add one from Chandelier (it doesn't specifically state that they will wait until after he's dead, just “One day, when I have a strong son”). This daggers are important and special, and they symbolize Chandelier's duty to protect the Mud People.
Chandelier finally admits to what's bothering him: when Darken Rahl showed up and started slaughtering Mud People, Richard hid in the Youth Hostel and refused to fight him (which is true). Kahlan explains that Richard would have died had he come out to fight. Chandelier correctly notes that, had Kahlan not brought Richard to Mudtropolis, Rahl would not have showed up to slaughter people. 
Kahlan asks Chandelier if he knows what she does. His reply is interesting: “Yes. Like all Confessors, you make people afraid of you, so you may tell them what to do, and because they are afraid, they will do as you say.”
Chandelier is a wise and perceptive man.
Kahlan does not deny that she and all other Mindrapists basically rule by terror; rather, she tries to justify it by claiming that, but for her tyranny, the other nations of the Midlands would have long since conquered Mudtropolis and slaughtered the Mud People.
Chandelier finally admits that Kahlan and Richard are okay people, and gives Kahlan the dagger made from his grandfather's bone (and now I'm wondering which bone it was made from. Femur? Arm bone? Pelvis?). He makes her swear to protect the Mud People, which she does.
Kahlan decides to continue deeper into the Palace of the Dead to see whether the Queen was killed. Chandelier notes that someone has been here since the slaughter – the doors were all closed “out of respect for the dead,” but those who killed them would not have bothered to close the doors. I'm not sure that's necessarily true, but we'll go with it. The door to the throne room is locked, and Kahlan teaches Chandelier about keys and locks. This apparently proves that someone has been there before them.
The throne room is full of shit – literally; it seems that the invaders used it as a privy. It's even smeared on the walls, and really, who is so dedicated to defiling a place that they smear their own crap on the walls? In a world without indoor plumbing, yet. However, there are no corpses. Kahlan deduces that the crap is a message to show that the invaders did not respect their victims (ya think?).
Oh, and the crap-filled room removes all doubt from Kahlan's mind as to who is behind the atrocity. I guess there's one nation known for crapping in the throne rooms of their enemies or something.
Drinks: 13
<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>