Return to the Kingdom of Fife

Return to the Kingdom of Fife is the fourth album by symphonic power metal band Gloryhammer. It was released globally on June 2nd, 2023.
==Story==
It has been thirty years since the defeat of the evil sorcerer Zargothrax. Angus McFife now rules over Dundee by the "Holy Flaming Hammer of Unholy Cosmic Frost". However, the death of the Original Zargothrax in the Terrorvortex triggers an interdimensional signal, This "Incoming Transmission" activates Zargothrax Clone Alpha-1. His first assignment: destroy Dundee. The Zargothrax Clone summons a nuclear missile that destroys all of Dundee and kills Angus McFife. His son, Angus McFife II is saved by the Wizards of the Cairngorms who foreseen the disaster, sending him to a castle in space. The Kingdom of Fife had been turned into the nuclear wasteland "Imperium Dundaxia". 
Angus McFife II trains for 20 years vowing to avenge his father. The Hootsman now patrols the nuclear wasteland with his "Wasteland Warrior Hoots Patrol", fighting goblins on his nuclear lasercycle. Grandmaster Proletius still leads the "Brothers of Crail" vowing to never allow Zargothrax to rule this land and guard the Fortress of Crail holding Zargothrax's frozen prison and their advanced technology. Angus McFife II allies with the Hootsman, the Brotherhood of Crail, and Ralathor to fight in the name of "Fife Eternal". Angus McFife II is told of a powerful artifact known as the "Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem" by the Oracle of Glenrothes, which he can use to defeat Zargothrax. But to find it, they must travel to the labyrinth of the Dwarven Caverns. The heroes venture into the caverns beneath Dundee where they battle the "Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde". The Sword Lord is defeated in battle and guides the heroes through the Dwarven Caverns. Ralathor, knowing he would be vaporized if he told this knowledge to anyone, takes this knowledge of the path through an interdimensional crack in space-time, traveling to the Prime Universe and leading Angus McFife through the Tunnel of the Dwarves. 
The heroes find the citadel holding the Laserblaster in the mountains of Strathclyde. They enter the citadel where Angus finds the chest, only to find that it is empty, Zargothrax Clone Alpha-1 has stolen the Laserblaster. Zargothrax Clone Alpha-1, now the "Keeper of the Celestial Flame of Abernethy" and wielding the Laserblaster, storms to the Fortress of Crail, slashing through the Knights of Crail to revive the Original Zargothrax in the tomb of liquid ice by "Maleficus Geminus (Colossus Matrix 38B - Ultimate Invocation of the Binary Thaumaturge)". The heroes know that they are doomed unless they seek the Robot Prince of Mighty Auchtertool. Zargothrax Clone Alpha-1 uses the Laserblaster to destroy the liquid ice prison, freeing the Original Zargothrax. The power of Double Wizard had finally been achieved. The Double Wizard force with The Knife of Evil and Vorpal Laserblaster destroy the armies of Angus, the Robot Prince tragically dies, and now they come face to face with Angus McFife II. There is no chance for our hero to win. Suddenly, the Star Lords of Eternity ascend from the heavens and eradicate the universe due to the creatures of Earth's meddling with the three artifacts of power. Everyone shall die except for the brave Prince Angus II, who is spared by the Star Lords to quest to the Moon for his destiny awaits beyond the outer reaches of the galaxy. Angus McFife II is transported to an unknown place and time.
==Track Listing==
All music and lyrics by Gloryhammer.https://www.napalmrecordsamerica.com/gloryhammer-return-to-the-kingdom-of-fife-digipack-2cd-pre-order-release-date-6-2-23.html Track lengths sourced from Bandcamp.https://gloryhammer.bandcamp.com/album/return-to-the-kingdom-of-fife
No.	Title 	Length
1. 	Incoming Transmission 	01:46
2. 	Holy Flaming Hammer of Unholy Cosmic Frost 	04:35
3. 	Imperium Dundaxia 	04:36
4. 	Wasteland Warrior Hoots Patrol 	04:29
5. 	Brothers of Crail 	04:16
6. 	Fife Eternal 	03:05
7. 	Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde 	05:26
8. 	Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem 	04:29
9. 	Keeper of the Celestial Flame of Abernethy 	03:20
10.	Maleficus Geminus (Colossus Matrix 38B - Ultimate Invocation of the Binary Thaumaturge)	12:10
==Personnel==
Gloryhammer
Vocals 	Keyboard 	Guitar 	Bass 	Drums
Angus McFife II	Zargothrax 	Ser Proletius	The Hootsman 	Ralathor
Sozos Michael 	Michael Barber	Paul Templing	James Cartwright	Ben Turk
==Lyrics and Lore==
=== Incoming Transmission ===
Lore Text
The year was 1022. It was a good time for all creatures of Dundee. Thirty years had passed since Angus McFife threw the evil wizard Zargothrax into a frozen pool of liquid ice, freeing the unicorns from the spell of undeath and saving the Kingdom of Fife. The frozen corpse of the sorcerer lay dormant under the watchful eye of Ser Proletius and his Templar Knights of Crail, never to be reawakened. Peace and prosperity reigned across the highlands of Scotland, and the succession was safe with the birth of the new heir, Prince Angus McFife the 2nd.
But from a distant otherworldly dimension, in a fractal multiverse beyond the mortal comprehension of King Angus, an eldritch failsafe killswitch had triggered a transdimensional broadcast of colossal and dire consequences...
Countless centuries ago, before the commencement of his evil plan, Zargothrax had created a legion of clones of himself, and hid them in a forbidden cryogenic stasis chamber deep beneath Dundee. If he ever were to truly die, a radio transmission would awaken one of the clones, so that it might continue the dark works of its progenitor. And now with the death of Zargothrax in the Terrorvortex Dimension, this grim prophecy would finally come to pass!
=== Holy Flaming Hammer of Unholy Cosmic Frost ===
Lyrics
Welcome mighty heroes
Into this ancient land
A kingdom steeped in legendary splendor
From the mighty highlands
To the shores of Auchtertool
A shining realm of unicorn defenders
And in the ancient castle
Atop his golden throne
The king of fife rules over
His great ancestral home
By the holy flaming hammer of unholy cosmic frost
We will voyage 'cross the kingdom to reclaim what once was lost
In this realm of ancient battles where the king of fife now reigns
I will wield the holy hammer of flame
Unholy cosmic frost!
In the merchant's district
The dwarves of aberdeen
Are forging artifacts of mighty power
Meanwhile in the college
Where wizards learn their spells
A fireball is blasting from a tower
Behold the knights of crail
Atop the city walls
They swore a mighty oath to say
Dundee will never fall!
By the holy flaming hammer of unholy cosmic frost
We will voyage 'cross the kingdom to reclaim what once was lost
In this realm of ancient battles where the king of fife now reigns
I will wield the holy hammer of flame
Unholy cosmic frost!
Across the infinite void of time and space
From a twisted dimension of shattered reality
The dying screams of a malevolent sorcerer materialized
And terrible were the words they spoke...
Sanctus! Dominus!
Initiating interdimensional subspace relay
Incoming transmission
Activate Zargothrax clone alpha 1
Geminus! Thaumaturgist rise!
Upgrading nuclear subroutines
Powering up anti-telharsic nanobots
Assignment: destroy dundee!
Duplexus! Maleficus!
Chaos lord reborn!
By the holy flaming hammer of unholy cosmic frost
We will voyage 'cross the kingdom to reclaim what once was lost
By the holy flaming hammer of unholy cosmic frost
We will voyage 'cross the kingdom to reclaim what once was lost
In this realm of ancient battles where the king of fife now reigns
I will wield the holy hammer of flame
Unholy cosmic frost!
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
Lore Text
And lo! Zargothrax Clone Alpha 1 rose up from the cryptic ancient dungeons beneath Dundee, slaughtering the Knights of Crail and other defenders of the city, and made his way to the Marketgait in the center of Dundee. Standing before the mighty castle of King Angus McFife, he summoned forth a 50 Megaton nuclear bomb stolen from the future, and initiated the countdown sequence. The heroes of Dundee fought valiantly, but they could not overcome the wizard. And as the countdown reached zero, a terrible explosion not seen since the distant future of 1961 ripped through Dundee, annihilating everything in its path. Only the mighty Ser Proletius emerged alive from the rubble, clutching the corpse of King Angus. The Dark Prophecy of Anstruther had come true. Dundee had fallen!
=== Imperium Dundaxia ===
Lyrics
Welcome, doomed traveler, into a forsaken realm of nuclear chaos... welcome to Imperium Dundaxia!
Nothing remains now but chaos and death
Once blue skies now rage bloody red
Blasted and crushed, to rubble and dust
The kingdom lies in waste, vanquished and dead
The evil wizard has doomed us all
Imperium Dundaxia
Decades have passed in the Kingdom of Fife
The end of the world has begun
Robots and goblins are roaming the land
The peasant folk cower and run
My father died in the war of Dundee
By magical spells I was saved
Hidden for years in a castle in space
I swore to rise again, to take my revenge
This is a lament for Dundee
Song for the brave heroes
Who died on their hands and knees
In a battle once foretold, long ago
Now lost to the ancient cosmic
Force of nuclear fire
Flames! Burning with fury
Rage! My only desire
Is to bring death, pain and destruction
Unto the wizard of ire
Fight! Raise up the hammer
Quest! Forevermore
Into a land lost to the darkness
Dundax! Irae!
And out from the toxic shadows of the Dundaxian wasteland, came forth the cloned sorcerer on a diabolical quest in the name of his ice-bound progenitor... Chaos! Evil! A thousand plagues and more would be unleashed upon the world, and all would once again kneel before the immortal Zargothrax!
Goblins! Agents of doom
Masters of evil that come from the moon
Robots! Servants of steel
Their lasers so real you shall feel
Wizard! Frozen in tomb
His nuclear clone made Dundee go kaboom
But all is not lost just as long as I stand
The forces of justice still wander these lands
I swear by the hammer that I will defy
The armies of chaos will die!
Flames! Burning with fury
Rage! My only desire
Is to bring death, pain and destruction
Unto the wizard of ire
Fight! Raise up the hammer
Quest! Forevermore
Into a land lost to the darkness
My name is Angus McFife
My hammer will take your life
Dundax! Irae!
Lore text
A nuclear winter fell upon the Kingdom of Fife, blanketing the dead land in ice and snow, as evil winds whipped across the forbidden wastes. But all was not lost... for the Wizards of the Cairngorms had foreseen the terrible nuclear destruction of Dundee, and in the moments before the blast, they teleported the young heir Prince Angus the 2nd to a secret castle orbiting Earth, in the mystical realm known as "Outer Space". Another twenty years passed, during which the prince learned the ways of Epic Fight and Battles, taught by robots in his space castle. Finally, the time came for Angus to Return to the Kingdom of Fife and claim his birthright. Descending in a wizard capsule, he arrived into a land that bore no resemblance to the fair kingdom he had fled twenty years ago...
[Song Lyrics]
Somehow, Zargothrax Clone Alpha 1 survived his nuclear blast, and was still roaming the wastelands of Dundee! What his evil mission was, nobody could ever hope to comprehend, but Angus knew that if he was ever to save the Kingdom of Fife, the clone must be destroyed!
=== Wasteland Warrior Hoots Patrol ===
Lyrics
Cruisin' down the highway powered by hoots
1000 miles per hour that electrocute
Pedal to the metal, feel the surge
It's the invocation of the Thaumaturge
Across the endless light years
Your heroes have returned
On nuclear powered motorbikes
The enemies of Unst will burn
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
Fighting goblins everywhere we go
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
With the hammer and axe prepare to attack!
We're the wasteland warrior hoots patrol
Riding on through the ice and the snow
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
When a battle is fight
We'll be there at the speed of light!
Swords! Hammers! Battleaxe!
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
White hot thunder beneath my feet
Goblins battling in the streets
With armor of wolf and leather boots
The only law is the law of hoots
The kingdom lies in ruins
Auchtermuchty is no more
Toxic dragons fly across
A wasteland made from nuclear war
But there's a lone survivor
Questing far across the land
He is the mighty Hootsman
Battleaxe is in his hand
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
Fighting goblins everywhere we go
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
With the hammer and axe prepare to attack!
We're the wasteland warrior hoots patrol
Riding on through the ice and the snow
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
When a battle is fight
We'll be there at the speed of light!
Alright you bunch of nuclear goblins, listen up!
My name is the Hootsman, and this wasteland belongs to me
Now, I'm gonna give you to the count of three
To get your good for nothing goblonic asses outta here
Or you're gonna taste the power of hoots!
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
Fighting goblins everywhere we go
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
Fighting goblins everywhere we go
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
With the hammer and axe prepare to attack!
We're the wasteland warrior hoots patrol
Riding on through the ice and the snow
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
When a battle is fight
We'll be there at the speed of light!
Swords! Hammers! Battleaxe!
Wasteland warrior hoots patrol
Hoots!
Lore text
Only one other man was powerful enough to survive the nuclear devastation. Protected by the radiation-shielding properties of his Armor Made From Wolf, the Immortal Cyborg Barbarian known only as THE HOOTSMAN had forged his own legend in post-nuclear Dundee, as the leader of a motorbike riding, goblin-hunting, saxophone-soloing battlegang known as the WASTELAND WARRIOR HOOTS PATROL
=== Brothers Of Crail ===
Lyrics
Woah-oh-oh in the decimated wastelands of Crail
Woah-oh-oh where the brotherhood rides in alis aquilae
Join us in our fortress where the ocean meets the land
A secret ancient brotherhood with laser sword in hand
Guardians of technology from centuries gone by
Riding on an eagle through apocalyptic skies
Grandmaster Proletius
He's the mightiest hero
Woah-oh-oh in the decimated wastelands of Crail
(Brothers of Crail! To Robots We Hail!)
Woah-oh-oh where the brotherhood rides in alis aquilae
(Raise your sword to the sky and say!)
Woah-oh in the decimated wastelands of Crail
(Brothers of Crail! To Robots We Hail!)
Woah-oh-oh where the brotherhood rides in alis aquilae
('Cause we! Are the Brotherhood of Crail!)
Long ago we served the king but now we stand alone
We'll fight to save the land of Crail with blood and steel and bone
Keepers of the sorcerer now trapped inside of ice
Never shall his reign of terror overcome the Knights
Our powerful robots
Will protect us from chaos
Woah-oh-oh in the decimated wastelands of Crail
(Brothers of Crail! To Robots We Hail!)
Woah-oh-oh where the brotherhood rides in alis aquilae
(Raise your sword to the sky and say!)
Woah-oh in the decimated wastelands of Crail
(Brothers of Crail! To Robots We Hail!)
Woah-oh-oh where the brotherhood rides in alis aquilae
('Cause we! Are the Brotherhood of Crail!)
Deformed goblins of the wasteland! You have proven yourselves to be unworthy of our technology, indeed! Now, prepare to face the might of the Brotherhood of Crail!
We'll fight together
Proudly we will stand
The evil wizard Zargothrax will never rule this land
Upon our eagles
Riding in the sky
The Brotherhood of Crail will never die!
Woah-oh-oh in the decimated wastelands of Crail
(Brothers of Crail! To Robots We Hail!)
Woah-oh-oh where the brotherhood rides in alis aquilae
(Raise your sword to the sky and say!)
Woah-oh in the decimated wastelands of Crail
(Brothers of Crail! To Robots We Hail!)
Woah-oh-oh where the brotherhood rides in alis aquilae
('Cause we are the Brotherhood
Hail to the Brotherhood
We are the Brotherhood of Crail)
Lore text
With the death of his Liege Lord King Angus, and suffering extreme face-melting wounds in the nuclear fallout, Ser Proletius retreated with his knights to the Fortress of Crail. Shutting the gates of the mighty citadel from the rest of the world, he swore that none would ever be worthy of their ancient powerful technology, and none would ever breach their walls and revive the frozen wizard Zargothrax!
=== Fife Eternal ===
Lyrics
I will fight for the light
In the name of Fife Eternal
To defend the realm that lies
Ablaze with black fire
Questing through an ancient land my father used to rule
Now overrun by toxic fiends and goblins minuscule
I am brave prince Angus, the second of my name
To reclaim the throne of Fife shall be my only aim
To triumph in the ultimate war
We must stand together once more
I will fight for the light
In the name of Fife Eternal
To defend the realm that lies
Ablaze with black fire
On a quest for the crown
To restore the land's renown
I will fight from the Clyde to the Tay
I'm fighting every day
From the north - barbarian! The Hootsman is his name
He's sure to join my noble fight in search of epic fame
From the east Proletius the grandmaster of Crail
Long ago he swore an oath - now once again he'll hail
And from a mountain far to the south
A hermit heeds the call
(Memories of nuclear submarines)
Now Ralathor is back by my side
The wizard clone soon will fall!
I will fight for the light
In the name of Fife Eternal
To defend the realm that lies
Ablaze with black fire
On a quest for the crown
To restore the land's renown
I will fight from the Clyde to the Tay
Let's battle today!
Long ago, it was told
That a mighty Laserblaster
Lies inside a citadel now lost to the Starlords
You must quest, far away
Through the ancient Dwarven caves
And into the legendary
Kingdom of Strathclyde
I will fight for the light
In the name of Fife Eternal
To defend the realm that lies
Ablaze with black fire
On a quest for the crown
To restore the land's renown
I will fight from the Clyde to the Tay
I'm fighting every day
Lore text
The oracle of Glenrothes had spoken - to save the Kingdom of Fife, Prince Angus the 2nd must once again join forces with The Hootsman, Ser Proletius and Ralathor, and undertake a voyage to reclaim the mythical 3rd artefact of the Starlords of Eternity - The Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem! Only with its power, could he hope to defeat the maleficent clone of Zargothrax, and restore the land to its ancient splendors.
=== Sword Lord Of The Goblin Horde ===
Lyrics
Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde
Black Knight of the Dwarven Caverns
We must find the hidden way
By the sword of the Lord of the Horde
Questing to the caverns, beneath the ancient ruins of Dundee
(Lost for centuries before the fall of Cowdenbeath)
Nuclear devastation, and toxic laser slime surrounding me
Warriors take heed!
Mighty Ser Proletius is guiding us below atomic stars
(Epic paladin, he battles for the powersteel)
Ralathor behind me, we step inside the tunnels to the dark
No turning back!
Led by ancestral light
The fire burning deep in my heart
To revive lost Kingdom of Fife
The Sword must ignite my path!
Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde
Black Knight of the Dwarven Caverns
We must find the hidden way
By the sword of the Lord of the Goblin Horde
Cosmic glyphs and sigils burning black
(Ancient symbols from the star lords of eternity)
Laser horses cry for homeland lost to destiny
(Laser horse of Kirriemuir)
The cavern shakes with ancient crystal fire, so dire
A goblin approaches from the shadowy murk - beware! I see him there!
If his sword should strike me, mighty heroes are defeat
Evil Wizards rewrite history
But the force of my Holy Hammer, will rage through time
This battle for our destiny is mine!
Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde
Black Knight of the Dwarven Caverns
We must find the hidden way
By the sword of the Lord of the Goblin Horde, prepare for war
Mighty prince, as decreed by the ancient code of goblins
I shall yield the secret of this blade only when bested in single combat!
But, know this! The path can only be revealed
If you take its knowledge to the grave!
Now, enough chatter... prepare for battle! En Guarde!
Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde
Black Knight of the Dwarven Caverns
We must find the hidden way
By the sword of the Lord of the Goblin Horde
Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde
Black Knight of the Dwarven Caverns
We must find the hidden way
By the sword of the Lord of the Goblin Horde
Lore text
And lo, the heroes set out on their quest for the Vorpal Laserblaster. The Oracle of Glenrothes instructed them that they must first somehow find a way through the labyrinth of the ancient Dwarven Tunnels, even though the route through the passageways has been lost for countless aeons. Rumors spoke of a powerful goblin warlord who might be able to help...
[Song Lyrics]
The Swordlord had been defeated! True to his word, he gave his ensorcelled Goblin Blade to Ser Proletius, and suddenly from its pommel an ensorcelled beam of light exploded forth, twisting and turning through the caverns, and lighting the way to the exit.
"Good luck, might warriors", said the goblin. "But remember, if you tell the secret of the route through the tunnels to anyone in the future, you will perish INSTANTLY!"
Ralathor pondered this warning for a while. "Hmm, we cannot betray the secret of the blade in the FUTURE... but he did not mention anything about the PAST..." With that thought, Ralathor disappeared off through a crack in space-time. "You must complete this quest without me, I have a much more important mission to undertake!"
=== Vorpal Laserblaster Of Pittenweem ===
Lyrics
Long ago in times of war, men spoke of an artifact
Built by gods from worlds unknown and wielded by kings
With the blaster in my hands
Lord Zargothrax would surely yield
Goblin armies run away in fear
We must find it here!
For the Kingdom of Space Dundee
For the powerful weapon that I seek
In the ashes of nuclear war
Remember the things we are fighting for
For the land where the dragon flies
Far across the enchanted sapphire sky
I've seen it inside of my dreams
The Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem
Weapon borne of mystic times, a fragment of destiny
Charged with light from an ancient star and forged from pure steel!
He who wields dark matter cannon becomes one with the power
I must quest far and wide until it is mine - I'll quest for all time!
For the Kingdom of Space Dundee
For the powerful weapon that I seek
In the ashes of nuclear war
Remember the things we are fighting for
For the land where the dragon flies
Far across the enchanted sapphire sky
I've seen it inside of my dreams
The Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem
Ride mighty warriors, across the plains of East Kilbride
Pass the icy chasms to the mountains of Strathclyde
There inside a citadel, where a robot guards the way
You will find the Blaster, to smite your foes this day
For the Kingdom of Space Dundee
For the powerful weapon that I seek
In the ashes of nuclear war
The tales of our glory will live evermore
Now the chest is before my eyes
But inside there is emptiness and lies
By the wizard I've been deceived
The Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem
Pathetic mortal scum! Your quest was in vain, and your realm is doomed...
For the Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem is now in the hands of the immortal Zargothrax!
Lore text
After many weeks of questing, Angus the 2nd, Proletius and The Hootsman reached the apex of their journey in the distant land of Strathclyde. The Vorpal Laserblaster would soon be in their grasp!
[Song Lyrics]
Infernal Hoots! The clone of Zargothrax had managed to retrieve the Vorpal Laserblaster before Angus could get there... the kingdom was now truly doomed! With the blaster's power, he would be able to melt the liquid ice that encased his progenitor, the original Zargothrax, and double wizards would be unleashed upon the world... chaos would reign ETERNAL!
=== Keeper Of The Celestial Flame Of Abernethy ===
Lyrics
Zargothrax, master of nightmares
Keeper of celestial flame
Travel back 1000 years to a time before Dundee
There lived a simple peasant weaving baskets in a field
But when a Prince destroyed his home to build a Kingdom new
He forged a pact with chaos, swore to bring him to his doom
A wizard did arise
(Concealed a clone beneath Dundee)
The Prince of Fife must die
He's a sorcerer, nefarious
With eyes that burn like fire
Slaying those who dare oppose
The power of his evil desires, oh yeah!
He wields the Laserblaster
Dark lord of Dundee
He's a sorcerer, nefarious
And he will bring the kingdom to its knees
Zargothrax, master of nightmares
Keeper of celestial flame
Sorcerer, bound to the darkness
Evil lies in his brain
Darklord Zargothrax, master of nightmares
Keeper of celestial flame
Wizard King, chaos incarnate
Zargothrax is his name!
Laser goblin!
Power sword!
Ultra warfare!
The dawn of double wizard
Shall reveal his fate
So we must ride far away
To the Fortress of Crail
To revive the frozen wizard
From a tomb of liquid ice
We will fight, to destroy
And to vanquish the name
Of the scion of the kingdom
And unleash the celestial flame
Zargothrax, master of nightmares
Keeper of celestial flame
Sorcerer, bound to the darkness
Evil lies in his brain
Darklord Zargothrax, master of nightmares
Keeper of celestial flame
Wizard King, chaos incarnate
Zargothrax is his name!
He's a sorcerer, nefarious
With eyes that burn like fire
Slaying those who dare oppose
The power of his evil desires, oh yeah!
He wields the Laserblaster
Dark lord of Dundee
He's a sorcerer, nefarious
And he will bring the kingdom to its knees
He is the keeper of the Celestial Flame
Lore text
For fifty years now, Zargothrax had laid dormant in the frozen pool of liquid ice. His demonic scheme to invade Dundee with unicorns was the culmination of centuries of evil planning. But Zargothrax had not always been a force for evil. To learn his origins we must voyage back through history 1000 years, to when the legendary hero Dundax, the distant ancestor of Angus McFife, founded the city of Dundee.
To forge his kingdom, Dundax had to make many sacrifices, and the home village of a simple basket weaver called Zargothrax was one of them. He was powerless to resist the march of progress at the hands of the soldiers of Dundee. But with the help of a demonic path with the Elder God Kor-Virliath of the 18th Hell Dimension, the lowly weaver would be transformed into an immortal sorcerer with immense power, and he would have his revenge upon the entire universe!
=== Maleficus Geminus (Colossus Matrix 38B - Ultimate Invocation Of The Binary Thaumaturge) ===
Lyrics
Dundee! Dundee! Irax! Harfatum!
Vorpus! Telum! Nihil! Septomin!
Dundee! Dundee! Colossus! Matrix 38B!
Riding 'cross the terrorzone
With the blaster in his hand
An unholy quest to break the tomb
Of the frozen wizard
Slashing through the Brotherhood
The pathetic Knights of Crail
Now the secrets of the gods are mine
They will yield to me!
Far away inside the ancient citadel of Crail
I know a goblin waits for me
Through the gates now strewn with blood and guts and bits of brain
I know a goblin waits for me
Dark wizard, Angus comes for thee
Heroes of the wasteland, prepare for final fight
The nuclear clone of Zargothrax cannot escape this night
He wields the laser blaster, our quest may yet be doomed
Unless we seek the Robot Prince of Mighty Auchtertool
With eyes ablaze with crimson fire
And great boronic wings
His armor wrought from power steel
Heir of the mecha-king
Heroes charge with vengeance
Unicorns are in pursuit
But with the power of robot might
They'll answer now to Hoots
Robot Prince of Auchtertool
Over thy robot kingdom rule
Electronic lord of war
Destined to reign forever more
Robot Prince of Auchtertool
Over thy robot kingdom rule
Electronic lord of war
Destined to reign forever more
Back inside the citadel
The containment zone ahead
Override the cryogenic seals
Demonic power!
No-one left to stop me now
My progenitor arise
Now the land of Fife will kneel before
Mighty double wizard
Zargothrax!
Warning... containment seals breached... cryogenic stasis system overload... liquid ice prison failure imminent... warning... warning... warning...
Double! Wizard!
Sorcerus! Geminus!
Diabolica Duplicatus!
Sorcerus! Geminus!
Diabolica Ultimae!
After decades of torment, dark fortune smiles my way
My progeny hath served me well, his reward shall be death's citadel
Now, with the knife and the blaster
We'll conjoin ourselves at the brain
Powerless Prince of Fife, we'll now take your life
Let you and your kin burn in HELL!
Dundee! Dundee! Robot! Viator!
Dundee! Vortex! Noctem! Iudicium!
At last! By the machinations of my clone, I am free from the shackles of frozen slumber! After countless aeons of scheming across multiple dimensions, the grand cosmic plan of Zargothrax will now come to fruition! The chronological imperative will be eradicated... by the power of two wizards you shall perish!
Slaves of the armies of Angus
Warriors who yearn to be free
I will liberate you from the chains of your life
Your souls now belong to me
Rise as a creature of darkness
Rise as an undead machine
In the name of the Sorcerer Zargothrax
Vanquish the paleocene
And lo! The time for reckoning is at hand! Prince Angus, your reign ends today! Prepare to die!
Begone, foul servants of chaos! I swear by the blood of the sword in my veins, I will never be defeat! For the Eternal Glory of Dundee!
Robot Prince of Auchtertool
Over thy robot kingdom rule
Electronic lord of war
Destined to reign forever more
Knife of evil is too great
Prince of the robots meets his fate
Auchtertool no longer fight
Killed by the wizard lord this night
Now the ultimate battle begins
Angus is fighting the sorcerous twins
There is no chance for our hero to win
Wielding the hammer of glory so high
Knife made of evil make threaten to die
Dark laser blaster shoot death in the sky
Suddenly the heavens cry
Behold, creatures of Earth! By your foolish meddling with the 3 artifacts of power, you have summoned forth the Starlords of Eternity!
These weapons are not your playthings to be trifled with... and so for your impudent acts, your world shall be eradicated!
Except for you, brave prince... join us, for your destiny awaits beyond the outer reaches of the galaxy!
The hammer the knife and the blaster collide
Starlords of heaven return from the skies
Making the wizards and warriors die
Only Prince Angus is spared from this doom
Starlords beseech him to quest to the moon
They have revealed him a new destiny
Far across the endless galaxy
By the Holy Flaming Hammer of Unholy Cosmic Frost
I will voyage 'cross the Multiverse to fight for what was lost
From this realm of nuclear chaos, to a world beyond the stars
I will quest forever onwards, so far
I will wield the Holy Hammer of Flame
Unholy cosmic frost!
Ecce Princeps Dundonensis Imperator Ascendit In Astra Eterna!
Lore text
With the forces of justice in close pursuit, Zargothrax arrived at the Fortress of Crail, wielding the immense power of the Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem. With one blast from its Anti-Telharsic beam of pure Harfatum Particles, it tore a hole through the gates of the Brotherhood of Crail's stronghold. None would stand a chance against a weapon of such magnitude. Double Wizard was imminent! Soon, the Hammer of Glory, the Vorpal Laserblaster, and the Knife of Evil would all meet on the battlefield for one final cataclysmic battle!
[Song Lyrics]
And lo, once again the universe was destroyed, eradicating the twisted fractal timeline that had been created by the transdimensional broadcast of Zargothrax. The Starlords of Eternity would suffer no meddling with the grand cosmic plan of Q'azzaruth-Gelmixoth that was prophesized 100 billion years earlier in the Crystal Halls of Dothbogria, and so it was required that everyone in the universe must die. Except for Angus McFife the 2nd... but that's a story for another time.
=== Mighty Wings ===
Lyrics
It's just a ball of dust
Underneath my feet
It rolls around the sun
Doesn't mean that much to me
I take a chance on the edge of life
Just like all the rest
I look inside and dig it out
Cause there's no points for second best
There's a raging fire in my heart tonight
Growing higher and higher in my soul
There's a raging fire in the sky tonight
I want to ride on the silver dove
Far into the night
Till I make you take me
On your mighty wings
Make you take me
On your mighty wings across the sky
Take me on your mighty wings
Take me on your mighty wings tonight
With just a little luck
A little cold blue steel
I cut the night like a razor blade
Till I feel the way I want to feel
There's a raging fire in my heart tonight
Growing higher and higher in my soul
There's a raging fire in the sky tonight
I want to ride on the silver dove
Far into the night
Till I make you take me
On your mighty wings
Make you take me
On your mighty wings across the sky
Take me on your mighty wings
Take me on your mighty wings tonight
Take me on your mighty wings
Take me on your mighty wings
==Gallery==
First two images are from a set of images posted to the gloryhammer facebook account to promote the then upcoming album. Third image is currently used as the background for the tourdates page on gloryhammer's website.
File:Return.jpg
File:Return hammerless.jpg
File:Return tourdates background.jpg
File:Return to the Kingdom of Fife.png| Full album art
==References==
Category:Albums