A Few 'Gurt Men

"" is the eleventh episode in Season 7, being the one-hundred-and-eighteenth episode overall.
==Plot==
Louise is put in a sticky situation when she must defend one of her biggest foes at Wagstaff School during a mock-trial. Meanwhile, Bob works with Jimmy Pesto to out a regular food scammer.
==Synopsis==
At breakfast at the Belcher kitchen, Gene comes in with his suit jacket and tie on. Linda explains that he’s the prosecutor for the school-wide mock trials, while Louise is the defense lawyer; the choice of siblings being random from choosing out of a hat. Tina meanwhile is a juror, while Louise expresses her discontent at the “baby-ish” content of doing a trial of Snow White vs the Evil Queen.
 
At Wagstaff, the school cafeteria has been converted into a mock courtroom, with several tables placed on their sides to represent the witness and jury stands, while a desk is used for the judge. Zeke is the bailiff, Tammy is Snow White while Jocelyn is the Evil Queen. Students are assembled to watch as Ms. Jacobson explains that the judge, Judge Conklin, is retired but will guide them through the process. Zeke proclaims the “honorable” Conklin’s arrival, who admits that he hasn’t been called “honorable” since 1997. Conklin notices his right sleeve on his judge’s robes is wet, saying it was an accident, “just water, not pee.” 
 
The mock trial begins, with Gene going first to describe how his “client” was the target of the Evil Queen’s jealousy, while Louise barley cares and tries to phone it in, until Jacobson tells her, if she doesn’t participate, then she will have to write a thousand-word essay on the legal system due the next day. Louise is not sure what to do, given her mock client’s name has “Evil” in it, but relents.
 
At the restaurant, Mort asks Bob where there are caterers for his mother’s 86th birthday party that Bob can recommend, refusing the burger joint ashes mother is picky and only wants stuff with shrimp. Another customer down the counter interrupts to bring up that he found a hair in his burger, and a shocked Bob opts to comp his meal. After the guy leaves, however, Bob finds that the hair is long and brown, which doesn’t match any of theirs (including Mort due to his toupee).
 
At the cafeteria courtroom, Louise interrogates Jimmy Jr (cast as Prince Charming) on the stand, making him yell out for help as Louise doggedly asks him how many other “corpses” he kissed first, before revealing to Conklin she just wanted to upset the witness. As Conklin calls for the jury to deliberate, Louise asks for a mistrial, as it is impossible for the Evil Queen to get a fair trial since everyone already knows the story of Snow White. Conklin is impressed as no one has ever asked for a mistrial, but refuses to grant one. 
 
The jury reaches the verdict that the Evil Queen is guilty. Just then, Mr. Frond and Mr. Ambrose walk by arguing. Ambrose accuses Frond of stealing his yogurt, and shows everyone Frond’s trash can with an empty yogurt cup in it. Frond denies eating the yogurt. Gene suggests that Frond needs a lawyer, and that they can try it in student court. Ms. Jacobson is reluctant at first, as they were going to try the Three Little Pigs the next day, but Ambrose and Frond agree. As does Judge Conklin, who thinks he fairy tale trials are too predictable (to Louise’s sarcastic relief). As they won’t need reenactors, Tammy, Jimmy Jr and Jocelyn join the hurry (with Tina happy due to Junior’s presence). Ambrose wants the death penalty if Frond is guilty, but Conklin suggests Frond instead wear a sing wearing “I’m a disgusting yogurt thief”, while if Ambrose is found wrong and Frond is innocent, then Ambrose will wear a sign saying “I’m a filthy liar mouth.” Jacobson says Zeke will stay bailiff, Gene will be prosecutor, and as Louise was finally showing some interest, shew will be defending Frond (to both her and Frond’s distress).
 
The next day in the cafeteria, Louise tells Frond that they don’t like each other, but Louise is responsible for his defense (to his subdued horror), and tells him to cop a plea so they can leave the trial. Frond refuses, stating that he is innocent, while Louise tells him to say he did it, buy Ambrose a yogurt, and they’re done, but he still insists he is innocent. Zeke calls for the “Somewhat respectable” Judge Conklin, who takes his seat and starts the trial. He tells the jury they will hear and make their call on Mr. Ambrose v. Mr. Frond, and instructs them to not talk about the case during the trial is over (which Tina is enticed by and talks to Jimmy Jr.). 
 
The opening statements begin, but Gene’s attempt at a Southern lawyer accent at first confuses the jury and he is told to speak normally. Gene notes that the yogurt container was found in Frond’s trash can and takes his seat. Louise gives a half-hearted statement that maybe Frond didn’t do it, to his further distress.
 
At the restaurant, Bob notices the customer from the previous day talking to Jimmy Pesto and suddenly realizes something. As the guy drives off, Bob yells asking Jimmy if the guy found a hair in his food, before moving closer due to Jimmy telling him not yell that for everyone to hear. Bob tells Jimmy the guy is a scammer who “found” a hair in his burger and uses it to get comped meals. Trev mentions that the guy was talking about his job, a celebrity impersonator who is rented out for parties, and Bob suggests getting back at him (while dismissing Jimmy and Teddy’s more disgusting and weird pranks).
 
At the cafeteria, the evidence is presented on a table. Gene is pointing at a poster board drawing of the hallway, showing the teacher’s lounge, Frond’s office, and the cafeteria’s locations, and accuses Frond on the witness of eating the yogurt, which he again denies, but Gene doesn’t listen and hands over the pointer to Louise. Louise once again phones it in and even asks Frond when he ate the yogurt. Conklin points out to Louise that she has an obligation to provide Frond with a defense. Gene calls Ms. Shelby to the stand, as Tina’s whispering annoys Jimmy Jr who points out they could get in trouble. Gene asks Shelby the gossip she hears as school receptionist, who says Frond gets a call from his mother once a day while Ambrose uses the schools computers to write a sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire (which he insists is a prequel before Conklin tells them to focus on the yogurt). 
 
Gene asks Selbo about any “yogurt gossip”, to which she says that Ambrose is always leaving his yogurt spoons around. This catches Louise’s attention as she asks for an explanation, and Selbo says that the yogurt cups have a plastic spoon in the lid. Ambrose again accuses Frond of being a yogurt thief, but Frond points out the spoon is still in the yogurt container’s lid, as Louise’s curiosity piques. 
 
At the restaurant, Bob, Linda, Teddy, Mort and Jimmy are looking over the laptop at a celebrity impersonator service site when they find the scammer. Bob’s plan is to hire him and then not pay, and as he is available the next day, Mort suggests booking him for his mother’s birthday party. Although the guy would recognize all of them, he won’t recognize Mort’s mother, and she loves revenge so won’t mind having him for the party. 
 
At the school cafeteria, Louise tells Frond it is no use and he should cop a plea. Frond again denies stealing the yogurt, and Louise says he’s falsely accused her all the time in the past (to his skepticism), and he says that if he did ever falsely accuse her, he’s sorry, as it feels horrible now. Louise once again calls for the plea deal, and he resignedly sighs and accepts, to her surprise; he admits that if she’s not going to defend him, might as well. Louise walks up to Conklin, but before she can ask for a plea, she asks Frond if he is really innocent, which he once again acknowledges. Realizing something, she tells Conklin that her client is innocent and they will continue fighting. Conklin asks about this change, and she admits she wanted it over, but also that everyone’s severed a fair trial. 
 
That night at the Belcher apartment, the family are eating ice cream in the living room. Tina talks about how she’s not supposed to talk about the case, while Gene says they could have wrapped it up but Louise seems intent on losing the next day. Louise says she needs another day to prove Frond is innocent, even as Bob asks if she wants to see him fry (as he would love to see happen to Frond), but she is now sure he’s innocent. Linda says Louise is having a crisis of conscience, and teases her about liking Mr. Frond, at which point an annoyed Louise walks off to bed.
 
The next day, the cafeteria court is in session, Louise tells them she will prove Frond didn’t steal the yogurt and will say who did (as soon as she figures it out). Ambrose yells that the yogurt was in Frond’s trash can and that no one likes the latter, which Louise admits. After Gene does a bit on “hearsay, you hear it and you say it”, Conklin allows it, to which Louise asks what he won’t allow (which he allows). Jimmy Jr complains about Tina breaking the rules to talk about the case, but Conklin dismisses him as “Whiny.”
 
Louise points out using the hallway schematic that Frond’s office is between the teacher’s lounge and the cafeteria, meaning someone else could have eaten the yogurt from the teacher’s lounge, walked down the hall, and thrown it in Frond’s trash can. Asking who would have been in the teachers lounge at the time, Ambrose points at frond, but Louise points out that witnesses placed two other people in the lounge on Monday afternoon; she calls Ms. Selbo back to the stand. Selbo testifies that she was in the teacher’s lounge (after accidentally admitting she uses Ms. Jacobson’s mug before backtracking). She denies taking the yogurt, as she is lactose intolerant. 
 
At Mort’s apartment, above the funeral home, the birthday party for his mother is in swing, who doesn’t mind the others crashing her party to catch the food scammer. The doorbell rings, and Mort, Bob, Linda, Teddy and Jimmy hide in the nearby closet.
 
Louise calls Mr. Bianca to the stand. Branca says he was in the teacher’s lounge Monday after school emptying the trash and pretending to vacuum (admitting he just hides dirt under the carpet as Conklin says it probably hides it), before walking into the hall to mop up something vomit-ish, and picked up stuff such as a spoon. Louise asks him where he found the spoon on Monday, and during a short speech about he is out there finding spoons, he says it was left on a drinking fountain. This news intrigues Louise, who tells the court she knows who did it. Louise asks Branca one last question: which drinking fountain did he find the spoon? He assays it was the squirty one, and Louise finally puts the pieces together. She tells the court that while they all think frond is gross, annoying and desperate, he is also innocent. To the shock of everyone present, she says Frond didn’t eat the yogurt, Judge Conklin did. As Conklin calls for order, he says it is a very serious accusation, and ask for her argument. Louise explains:
 
She got suspicious when he mentioned that the carpet in the teacher’s lounge hides dirt, indicating he’s been in there, but also how on Monday he said he had an accident, and it was water, not pee, on his sleeve. She figures Conklin went into the teacher’s logins before the trial, went in the fridge and helped himself to Ambrose’s yogurt, eating it as he walked down the hall, then threw away the container in Frond’s trash can as his office door was open. He went to the squirting fountain for water, leaving a spoon on it, and the fountain squirted him, wetting his sleeve. 
 
Conklin admits that Louise is correct, to everyone’s shock. She asks why he ate the yogurt that didn’t belong to him, and he says that usually at school mock trials they have some refreshments, and he thought the yogurt was Wagstaff’s attempt at it. He didn’t know about the spoon in the lid, so he used a regular metal spoon. Ms. Jacobson asks why he didn’t admit to it earlier, and Conklin says he saw potential in Louise as a defense attorney, and he is impressed how Louise dug deep to help an innocent man despite their issues. Conklin pays back Ambrose for the yogurt, and takes the “I’m a disgusting yogurt thief” sign for a date later. Ms. Jacobson pleads with the kids not to tell their parents how they have spent the last two days.
 
At the party, the scammer is dressed as Borat and entertaining the old ladies. As he strips into the famous green thong, the regulars burst out of the closet to confront him. Bob says they are not satisfied and they try to taunt him with not paying him. However, he points out that they prepaid when they booked him and put a credit card on the website, and that policy states there are no cancellations or refunds one hour prior to the performance. Bob realizes he didn’t see that, to Jimmy’s chagrin. As the guy tries to leave, the others make him stay and finish his performance, as they already paid. 
 
Outside the Wagstaff school parking lot, the Belcher kids are walking home, and Gene compliments Louise besting him while Tina wishes they could have deliberated at least. Frond is packing his car when he sees Louise, and thanks her, as he was terrified the whole time but she did the right thing. He leaves for the supermarket salad bar, which Louise notes as “Sad”, and he agrees, but stops driving away when she says she didn’t believe him in the first place.
==Videos==
Gene Dresses Up For His School's Mock Trial Season 7 Ep. 11 BOB'S BURGERS
The Teachers Decide To Settle Their Dispute In School Court Season 7 Ep. 11 BOB'S BURGERS
==External links==
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Category:Episodes
Category:Season 7 Episodes
Category:Episodes Written by Jon Schroeder
Category:Episodes Directed by Tyree Dillihay
Category:6ASA Episodes
Category:2017 Episodes