Goodbye, Middle Class

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"Goodbye, Middle Class" is a song sung by the Janitor and the citizens of Springfield in "Poorhouse Rock”.
==Lyrics==
:Janitor: Bart, come with me to a magical place far in the past: America in the 20th century.
:Bart: Uh, sure. But you better not start singing.
:Janitor: 1945, we won the war.
:Our boys came back to the factory floor.
:The good times rolled, and smiles were on our faces.
:Ned Flanders: With plentiful jobs for folks of all ages.
:Barney Gumble: Even dumb slobs made excellent wages.
:Full cast: The country was booming,
:Carl Carlson: Though still pretty racist.
:Full cast: [mumble]
:Janitor and cast: Oh, and so it came to pass,
:With hard work and grit and brass.
:Bit by bit, we built,
:Janitor: Our middle class.
:Full cast: Nice little middle class.
:Homer: I need cash for food and gas,
:Black light posters, beer and grass.
:Time for me to join the middle class.
:Janitor and cast: Oh, boy, that middle class.
:Go join that middle class.
:Homer: Well, I'm not smart, I'm not a go-getter.
:My drinking problem's not getting better.
:What job could I possibly do?
:Mr. Burns: Nuclear safety inspector.
:Homer: Whoo-hoo!
:Janitor: Your dad and his buddies had it swell.
:But gradually it all went to hell.
:Factories closed, unemployment would spike.
:Here to explain it is Robert B. Reich.
:Robert Reich: The decline of unions, rampant corporate greed, Wall Street malfeasance and the rise of shortsighted politics all contributed to increased economic inequality, widespread real unemployment, wage stagnation, and a lower standard of living for millions of Americans.
:Janitor: They chopped salaries to raise stock prices.
:Robert Reich: Cut up the pie and kept all the slices.
:Janitor: Tax breaks went to CEOs.
:Janitor and Robert Reich: Never trickling down to average joes.
:Janitor, Robert Reich, and cast: And so it came to pass,
:Robert Reich: Greedy rich men kicked our ass.
:Janitor, Robert Reich, and cast: Fiddling while they burned our middle class.
:Cast: Poor little middle class.
:Bart: All right, thanks for the history lesson, nerds. But what does any of this have to do with me? You see, my dad's still working, and I want to be just like him.
:Janitor: I'm sure you do. But there's something else you need to learn, and my friend here is happy to teach you.
:Bart: Ugh, you. For days, you've been dying to say something. Just spill it.
:Lisa: You want a job like Dad? Too bad, so sad.
:You'll never have the life our flabby dad had.
:Backing singer: Yeah.
:Lisa: What can he do that a robot can't?
:Homer: These Oreos taste like nuclear plant.
:Bart: Yo, all I need is a foot in the door.
:And I'll take Dad's job when he dies at 44.
:Lisa: That job you see now needs a PhD.
:While paying student loans leaves you in poverty.
:Backing singer: What?
:Lisa: No brand-new car,
:Backing singer: No.
:Lisa: No fancy house.
:Backing singer: Cool.
:Lisa: No hot dinners cooked by your stay-at-home spouse.
:Backing singer: Yeah.
:Lisa: You're gonna pinch every dollar and cent.
:And you'll still have to choose,
:Between health care and rent.
:Bart: I'll probably just buy a PlayStation 6.
:Lisa: You're naive, but it'll pass.
:They'll repo your skateboard, you'll grow up fast.
:Lisa: He's Jeff Bezos, we're just bozos.
:Lisa and cast: Goodbye, middle class.
:Lisa: These are facts, they're not controversial.
:We can't even afford what they sell in this commercial.
:Bart: Okay, so, you're saying maybe I'll have a tough time getting a job like my dad's.
:Janitor: No, no, I'm saying you'll definitely never get a job like your dad's, and you'll have a tough time finding something significantly worse.
:Bart: Thanks for the song and dance, but I think I'm gonna be just fine.
:'Cause there's a lot of new ways a guy can make a dollar.
:I'll ride the money train, make it rain, holla.
:I'll buy and sell Bitcoin, build a new app.
:Do pranks on YouTube, I'm great at that crap.
:Film TikTok tricks on my sick motorbike.
:Robert Reich: Your chances are slim.
:Bart: Go to hell, Robert Reich.
:Janitor: Those aren't careers, they're a million to one.
:You ain't that lucky and you ain't smart, son.
:Bart: Who gives a damn? I'll find my new jam.
:As an influencer on Instagram.
:If all else fails, I got backup plans.
:I can shake my cans on OnlyFans.
:Janitor: No. Just... no.
:Bart: Okay, great. So I have no options whatsoever. Smell you later, dude.
:Lisa: Isn't it infuriating? We'll never live as well as they did.
:Bart: Why doesn't anyone do anything about this?
:Lisa: Well, there's an answer to that, but it's not one you'll like.
:Moe the bartender, serve it up on the mic.
:Moe: So, greedy politicians write bad laws.
:Throwing goodies to the rich like Santy Claus.
:They chew up us poors, who votes for these guys?
:Grampa: All my friends are dropping like flies.
:Lisa: And where are these voters getting their cues?
:Tucker Carlson: Putin for president, next on Fox News.
:Lisa: And that's why our system is so out of order?
:Agnes Skinner: Cross-dressing drug fiends are crossing our border.
:Old people: [indistinct chatter]
:We vote for gun nuts and climate deniers.
:Lunatics from QAnon and con men and liars.
:They shred our safety net and gut Medicare.
:But they get our vote, 'cause we're incredibly easy to scare.
:Cable news declares we're doomed.
:And Facebook feeds our fright.
:They convince us things were great,
:When gas was cheap and men were white.
:So we rally round the crooks,
:And the creepy and the crass.
:The vengeful id of our vanishing middle class.
:Janitor: So, as you can see, Bart... Bart?
:Bart: I get it, dude, abandon hope.
:We can't escape our slippery slope.
:The future's a sandwich made of poo.
:Just tell me, what do you want me to do?
:Janitor: Burn it.
:Bart: "Burn it"? Burn what?
:Janitor: Well, that's up to you. All I know is what a janitor knows.
:If it's broke, don't wait till later.
:Chuck it in the incinerator.
:Bart: Hmm. I do enjoy destroying things. And this tie looks flammable.
:Janitor: Wait, Bart, I meant the system. Burn it down and then reform it. It was a metaphor.
:Bart: Eh. I never learned what that word means. Our education system is also terrible.
:Janitor: No.
:Bart: And so it comes to pass,
:Strike a match and raise a glass.
:All dreams die,
:So goodbye, middle class.
:[gasps] Oh, my God. Oh, so this is real? Help! I want to live to see the future, even if it's gonna be incredibly crappy!
:You saved me.
:Fireman 1: Hang on tight, you'll be okay.
:Bart: Thanks! By the way, how good's your pay?
:Fireman 2: Pay's good, and pension's great when we retire.
:Bart: Nice.
:Firewoman: Sweet health plan plus cool hat and boots.
:Fireman 1: We're always hiring new recruits.
:Firefighters: 'Cause luckily the planet is on fire.
:Even the oceans.
:Bart: Mom, Dad, I figured out what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna be a fireman.
:Marge: Well, it is true that fire isn't going anywhere.
:Homer: But you still hold me in high regard.
:Bart: Eat my shorts, you tub of lard.
:Homer: D'oh!
:Firefighters: We save lives and look badass.
:Miss Hoover, Bernice Hibbert, Sarah Wiggum, and Luann Van Houten: And we whistle as they pass.
:[wolf whistle]
:Full cast: The last men standing,
:In our middle,
:Class.
== Behind the Laughter ==
The song's music was written by Laurence O'Keefe and the lyrics were by Tim Long and Laurence O'Keefe.
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