War Is A Science

War Is A Science is Charles’ solo number. In it, Charles explains to his soldiers and Pippin how they’re going to defeat their current enemies, however he is continuously interrupted by an overexcited Pippin.
==Lyrics==
Original Broadway Cast Album
Charles 	Gentlemen, be seated! 	 	
 	 	 	
 	War is a science, with rules to be applied 	 	
 	Which good soldiers appreciate 	 	
 	Recall and recapitulate 	 	
 	Before they go to decimate the other side 	 	
 	And now, gentlemen, study this map. 	 	
 	This is the plan for tomorrow’s battle! 	 	
 	The army of the enemy is stationed on the hill 	 	
 	So we’ve got to bring them down here, and this is how we will 	 	
 	Our men in the ravine 	 	
 	That’s this area in green 	 	
 	Will move across the valley where they plainly can be seen 	 	
 	And the enemy, in blue, 	 	
 	Will undoubtedly pursue 	 	
 	For that’s what you depend upon an enemy to do 	 	
 	Then to guarantee their folly we’ll bring bowmen into play 	 	
 	Who will fire just one volley 	 	
 	And retire to point “A” 	 	
 	And then 	 	
 	And then 	 	
 	And, gentlemen, and then…! 	 	
Pippin 	And then the men go marching out into the fray 	 	
 	Conquering the enemy and carrying the day! 	 	
 	Hark, the blood is pounding in our ears! 	 	
 	Jubilations, we can hear a grateful nation’s cheers! 	 	
Charles 	Pippin! Sit down immediately! 	 	
 	Now, where was I? 	 	
 	Ah, yes… 	 	
 	War is a science, a breeding ground for brains 	 	
 	For though I cannot write my name 	 	
 	The men whose pens have brought them fame 	 	
 	Write endless paragraphs explaining my campaign 	 	
 	Now, when the foe see our soldiers marching through the lea 	 	
 	They will mount a charge and meet us at the point I’ve labeled “B” 	 	
 	And their bowmen on the hill 	 	
 	In yellow on the map 	 	
 	Will leave their posts to join the rest and fall into our trap 	 	
 	Then we’ll cut off reinforcements and retreat of any kind 	 	
 	Bearing principles of enfilade and defilade in mind 	 	
 	And if all the plays we pick to really work to bring the pass occur	 	
 	We won’t just have a victory 	 	
 	We’ll have ourselves a massacre 	 	
 	And then 	 	
 	And then 	 	
 	And, gentlemen, and then…! 	 	
Pippin 	And then the men go marching out into the fray 	 	
 	Conquering the enemy and carrying the day! 	 	
 	Hark, the blood is pounding in our ears! 	 	
 	Jubilations, we can hear a grateful nation’s-! 	 	
Charles 	Pippin! I shall not caution you again! 	 	
 	In conclusion, gentlemen 	 	
 	Now listen to me closely, I’ll endeavor to explain 	 	
 	What separates a Charlatan from a Charlemagne 	 	
 	A rule confessed by generals illustrious and various 	 	
 	Though pompous as a Pompey or daring as a Darius 	 	
 	A simple rule that every great man learns by heart 	 	
 	It’s smarter to be lucky than it’s lucky to be smart! 	 	
 	But if the fates feel frivolous 	 	
 	And all our plans they smother 	 	
 	Well, suppose this war does shrivel us 	 	
 	There’ll always be another! 	 	
 	And then 	 	
 	And then 	 	
 	And, gentlemen, and then…! 	 	
 	Now, gentlemen, now! 	 	
Male Players	And then the men 	 	
 	Go marching 	Female Players	And then the men go
 	Out into the fray 	 	Marching out into the
 	Conquering the enemy 	 	Fray. Conquering
 	And carrying the day 	 	The enemy and carrying the
 	Hark, the blood is pounding in our ears 	 	Day. Hark, the blood is pounding
 	 	 	In our ears
All Players 	Jubilations, we can hear a grateful nation’s… 	 	
 	 	 	
 	Cheers! 	 	
Category:Songs