Wizard 43

Chapter 43
Richard is called to see Darken Rahl. As he and Denna are moseying along, they encounter Constance, who had ratted Denna out to Rahl that she wasn't torturing Richard hard enough (I didn't bother to mention it because it didn't seem important and it still doesn't). Constance snarks at Richard, who speechifies to her \~/ about how she should be a better friend to Denna. This, naturally, earns him more punishment.
Richard and Denna chat, and Richard seems oddly defiant for someone who has been tortured and raped repeatedly for days, if not weeks. Denna says she's sorry, but she has no choice. They go see Rahl, and two of the blonde guards with the stupid spiked armbands are there, as well as Denim Nascar the pederast.
Rahl asks Richard about the Book of Counted Shadows, and when he hesitates to answer, Denna megatortures him. Richard confesses that he burned the book, but before he did that he memorized it. Rahl has him recite the first line: “Verification of the truth of the words of the Book of Counted Shadows, if spoken by another rather than read by the one who commands the boxes, can only be insured by the use of a Confessor...”
The title “Confessor” reminds Richard of Kahlan, and he manages to throw off weeks of trauma and conditioning in an instant. “The power roared to life, blasting away the fog with the burning, white-hot glare of his memories. The door to the locked room in his mind was flung open. It all came back to him, brought back by the power as it rose in him. Richard was one with the power, at the thought of Darken Rahl having Kahlan; hurting her.”
So...is this the Sword of Truth's power, which is 1) pure rage, and 2) supposedly controlled by Denna? Or the Mysterious Power that Richard likes to fondle? Or some other, hitherto-unknown power? Who knows? \~/
Rahl orders Denim to take two quads and capture Kahlan, who is apparently on her way there already with “the Old One,” who is presumably Zedd. Rahl assures Denim that he and his men will be protected by “an underworld spell.”
Rahl orders Richard to continue. Richard, having magically remembered everything, chooses to die instead. One of the guards starts choking Denna, so Richard kills both of them. This apparently impresses Rahl, who apologizes for blaming Denna. Rahl asks Richard if the Old One taught him to “partition your mind.” He explains:
“You put up a partition, to protect the core, sacrificed the rest to what would be done. A Mord-Sith cannot break a partitioned mind.”
Umm...huh? So all it takes to resist weeks of mental and physical torture, and keep from breaking and spilling information, is to imagine cramming your dignity into a room in your head? Does the CIA know about this? And doesn't this make torturing people for information more than a little pointless? And isn't this stupid?
Yes it is. \~/\~/
So Rahl sends Denna away and Richard says, “Kill me. Just like you killed my father.” Rahl replies, “I have not killed your father, Richard,” and I bang my forehead into my keyboard.
Can you see it coming? You can, can't you? I don't have to say it. \~/
Anyway, Rahl admits to killing George Cypher, but denies that he killed Richard's father. He then says that Richard has a wizard's web hiding the truth from him, apparently done by Zedd. Also, Rahl starts licking his fingers for some reason.
Richard tries to taunt Rahl into killing him, saying that “In one week you will be dead. You only have two boxes.” Rahl licks his fingers some more and replies that the third is on its way. Then Rahl produces two of the boxes, one all jewelly and golden, and the other jet black. Apparently the gold is a cover over the real box. Rahl tells Richard that “The same one who betrayed you to me also betrayed the box to me,” but refuses to say who to set up a dramatic reveal for later – er, I mean, because he considers himself honorable.
There's more verbal sparring, and Richard finally proves his knowledge by reciting passages from the book and removing the cover from the covered box (since it's held on with magic). Rahl is suitably impressed, and tells Richard he is free to go. Richard is like, Huh? Rahl explains that the book's information is complex enough that Rahl can't just rip it out of his head, and he is therefore useless. However, he suggests that Richard return in a week, since he plans to open one of the Magic Boxes at that time. He claims to have figured out which box will kill him, making it a fifty-fifty chance whether he becomes the Absolute Godlike Ruler of All That Is, or annihilates all life everywhere, setting evolution back about 4 billion years.
Have I mentioned before how stupid these boxes are? I have? It's still worth another drink. \~/
Rahl says that if Richard doesn't help him, he will have Kahlan trained as a Dominatrix and then she will bear Rahl a Confessor son, whereas if Richard -does- help, Kahlan will be treated as a queen...and bear Rahl a Confessor son. I don't know why Rahl wants a Confessor son; don't these sort of Evil Overlords generally plan on ruling the entire world by themselves? Rahl doesn't seem the sort to share power. Oh wait; it's because male Confessors are Always Chaotic Evil, and Rahl is Cartoonishly Evil and wants to double his evil, double his fun. \~/
Rahl takes the night stone from Richard and turns it to ash, claiming that Zedd has been using it to keep tabs on him. If this is so, then why the hell didn't Zedd try to rescue Richard during the past few weeks that he's been imprisoned, tortured and raped? \~/ Anyway, Rahl says that the next time Zedd tries to spy on Richard, he will find himself in the underworld.
More chatter. Rahl puts an “enemy web” on Richard. Why are half the wizard spells referred to as webs? An enemy web makes the subject appear as the viewer's worst enemy; to Rahl's people, Richard's appearance won't change because he is Rahl's worst enemy, but to his friends he will appear as someone else.
Rahl tells Richard that, if he wants to leave, he'd better kill Denna. Richard whines that he can't, but Rahl says that he has always had the ability to do so. “She controls one dimension of your magic, the side you offered her. You must use the other side. It is something all Seekers have been capable of, but none has ever succeeded in mastering. Perhaps you will be the first.”
Richard wanders around, trying to figure out how to kill Denna, and makes the unintentionally hilarious statement: “Nothing was one-dimensional.” Ah, irony.
Richard thinks off the times he felt his Mystery Power, which he knows is the magic of the sword. Which is pure rage. But this is a different kind of pure rage! Richard muses on “The wrath, fury, the want to kill. The hate.” This, somehow, gives him an epiphany. “He brought it forth, let it cast everything in a white sheen.”
I swear to God that's what it says.
\~/\~/
Either Terry Goodkind honestly does not understand the meaning of the word “innuendo,” or this entire book has been the most elaborate practical joke on the reader that I have ever heard of.
So ANYWAY, Richard heads back to Denna's quarters and she's waiting for him, on the bed, naked.
Wait; what? \~/
It turns out she expects him to kill her, and she doesn't want to die a Dominatrix but she has no other clothes. Right. She then monologues for a bit, telling Richard that “[Rahl] said that the prophecies foretold of a Seeker who would be the first to master the magic of the sword; the white magic. That this one would cause the blade of the sword to turn white.”
Note to Mr Goodkind: prophecies and the fulfillment thereof are only dramatic if the reader knows about the prophecies beforehand! Otherwise, it just comes across as a deus ex machina to make the protagonist look even more Super Awesome. \~/
So Richard and Denna have some nausea-inducing chatter about how much Denna hurt Richard and how Kahlan will hurt him even more, which makes Denna happy. \~/ Richard shows a sliver of characterization as he feels empathy for Denna because she has been tortured just as severely, both mentally and physically, as any of her victims.
Denna gives Richard her +5 Riding Crop of Pain to remember her by...you know, the one that causes unholy agony in the wielder as well as the victim? That one. Richard asks Denna to just let him go, but she refuses, saying that if he tries to leave she will try to stop him (but...doesn't Richard have the Uber-Speshul Magic now so he can ignore Denna's Mega-Pain Attack?) \~/
So Richard kisses her, “taking her last breath,” as he runs her through. And the chapter ends.
Yay?
Drinks: 14
<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>