New Sponge In Town

New Sponge in town. but who is the sponge?
== Synopsis ==
Spongebob was out on a night on the town, when suddenly, a dark sponge came out of the alleyway! Who is this new sponge in town, and what will he do to our wonderful friends and family?
== Characters ==
* Spongebob - An uptight, 42-year-old trans man with a penchant for violence.
* Secret Man - ... find out!
* Bernie Sanders - Bernard Sanders (born September 8, 1941) is an American politician who has served as the junior United States Senator from Vermont since 2007 and as U.S. Representative for the state's at-large congressional district from 1991 to 2007. He is the longest-serving independent in U.S. congressional history, although he has a close relationship with the Democratic Party, having caucused with House and Senate Democrats for most of his congressional career. Sanders unsuccessfully sought the Democratic Party nomination for president of the United States in 2016 and 2020, finishing in second place in both campaigns.
== Script ==
INT - BAR, NIGHT
It's a dark, humid night in Bikini Bottom. It's so hot that the fish are turning into fish sticks because it's so hot and they're burning up. Spongebob and his best friend and lover, Hrendal DuPree, are standing outside the Fish Fucka Bar.
Spongebob (to Hrendal): Watch this!
Spongebob spins a beer bottle on his nose, before sucking the whole thing up through one of his wet holes. It's moist and sensual.
Hrendal: Wow Spongebob! I love you spongebob!
Spongebob: Okay bitch, but check THIS out.
Spongebob excretes the beer bottle out of his hole. Hrendal DuPree is so shocked and happy and surprised and just totally whacked out.
Spongebob: Alright, let's blow this fish stand.
Hrendal: You lead the way, hunk of handsome!
Spongebob walks out of the bar and Hrendal follows close behind.
EXT - STREET, NIGHT
Spongebob is walking through the backstreets of Bikini Bottom. He sings all the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody. The scene goes on for twelve minutes because he forgets the lyrics like six times.
Spongebob: And that's bohemian rhapsody!
Hrendal: Wow can we have babiy now!?
Spongebob: Sure babe. But wait. What is that I see in front of me?
Spongebob looks in front of him and sees a mysterious sponge.
Spongebob: I thought I was the only sponnge in this town!
Secret Man: Not anymore.
INT - WASHINGTON DC, DAY
Bernie sanders is sitting at his desk watching hentai on his adell laptop.
Sanders: Oh yes, this is what I like. Thi sis the kinnd of stuff I am into.
Bernie's assistant walks into his office.
Assistant: Uh, sir?
Sanders: Yes. Just jorking orf here.
Assistant: Of course, sir. I'm afraid we have a level seventeen alert on the systems.
Sanders: Hold on. I nneed to finish. Okay. Did you say level seventeen?
Assistat: Yes sir.
Sandsers: Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh god. Why?
Assistant: It seems that a new sponge has arrived in bikinni bottom.
Sannders: Ready my dirigible. We're going under da sea.
The song under the sea from mermaid movie plays.
EXT - STREET, NIGHT
Spongebob: Wait, who are you?
Msteriy man: I'm the new sponge
Hrendal: Sponngebob, I'm leaving you. This new sponnge is too hot and it's making me CRAAAAZY!!!!
Spongebob: No. No!!!!!!!!! NO!
Mystery man: I will steal everyone you love. You will die alone in an empty grave.
Spongebob: What have I done to deserve this?
FLASHBACK: INT - FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Spongebob is sitting in a fancy restaurant with his two partners, Hrendal DuPree and famous tenis star Serena Williams.
Hrendal: Oh spogebob, tell us more about the different types of soil deposits!
Serena: please spongebob, i nneed to hear about them soooooo bad!
Spongebob: Please lady and non-gendered person, one at a fucking time!
Waiter: What would you like to drinnk and eat spongebob and friends? also my name is brengus setters and im the waiter. but in this world im a fish annd a woman.
Spongebob: GET OUT OF MY FACE BITCH! I HATE WOMEN!
Serena: But what about me?
Spingebob: I couldnt give less of a shit about you williams.
Spongebob does a wind up punch and Serna floats back up to the surface of the ocean.
Serena: Guess I'll go play tennnis!
Waiter: What the hell spongebob why would you say stuff like this to me?
Sponngebob: Because I'm the only sponge in town idiot. If I left who else would be me? No onne.
Waiter: Damn. I guess you're right. Unless...
Spongebob: No.
Hrendal: I love it when you get angry and homophobic spongebob!
Back at the street (NIGHT)
Spongebob: Whp are you msterious sponge?
Mystery mann: I'm the new sponge in town nnow.
Hrendal: I'm digginn this new sponge!
Spongebob: But how did you do this? How did you become a sponge?
Mystery man: It all started back then...
We start flashing back before abruptly cutting back in to the scene.
Mystery man: By the way I used to be the waiter but thenn...
FLASHBACK - WASHINGTONN DC - DAY
Bernie sanders is campaigning and yelling real loud about something
Bernie: And that is why, whenn I become president, I will make downvotinng reddit posts illegal! Thank you, atlantic ocean!
Bernie walks off the stage where he meets the waiter waitinng behind the stage.
WaiteR: Bernnie, please I need to talk to you NOW!!!!!!!! NIOWWWW!!!!!!
Bernie: What da heck, what is this? A fish person or somethinng?
Waiter: Yeah I'm a fish personn. But can you help me?
Bernie: I'm a freaking senator in the country baby. Dats my jawb.
Waiter: Epic. Can you make me a sponge please?
Bernie: Wait. Where are you foing with this?
Waiter: I need to go into bikini bottom and steal sponge's partner.
Bernnie: No way. You're goin up against da big Cheese? (spongebob)
Waiter: That's right. And I need your help.
Bernie: I think I know just the thing.
BACK AT THE STREET (NIGHT)
Spongebob: But who are you mystery man?
Mystery: I am the new sponge in town.
Spongebob: But... how?
Mystery: Here's what happened...
Bernnie sanders: WAIT! DONT TELL HIM MY SECRET SOLUTION FOR MAKING NNEW SPONNGE!
Spongebob: Wha da fuck is goin on...
Hrendal: I'm literally so confused and i have a loaded gun.
Mysrery: Let me explain everything. Bernie took me into his secret socialist lab where he gave me his secret solution that can turn anythinng into a sponge.
Sponngebob: But how did you become a sponge?
Mystery: You are stupid.
herendal: Yeah you are stupid spongebob.
Bernie Sanders: If this gets out, I'm ruined. I'll never be able to run for president annd lose eight more times ever again!
Spongebob: I won't tell anyone. Unless...
WHITE HOUSE - DAY
In the oval office, a chair is turned away from the camera. A strannge figure sits onn the throne.
???: Yeah kim jonng unn, I'm sorry. But ya answer just ainnt gonan cut it. I'm launching the fucking ukes.
The figure presses a buttonn and nnorth korea furinckinng explodes!!!
???: Get me my morning suck'n'fuck.
Assistant: yes sir, right away sir.
The figure turns around to reveal a yellow spongey guy.
Spongebob: I'm the president now, and I have everything. No one cann ever prove me wrong or embarass me because I will always get the upper hand.
Spongebob leanns back in his chair and takes a big sip of his juice before spittign it al over the desk.
Mysterious figure: Haha spongebob. Jokes on you because I am annother EVEN COOLER SPONGE in town!!!
Spongebob: Oh no. What the fuck am I goinna do now?
NNEW SPONNGE IN TOWN TO BE CONTINUED????
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