Blastoid-And-Friends.

Blastoid-And-Friends: Chronicles of The Endlessly Dying Pokémon, also known as some shitty show nobody asked for by lame haters, is a live-action fantasy-drama show created by Ass Whatshisface. Airing on the Unpokemon Channel in 2011, it was advertised as a plot and character driven spin-off of Deadpool's Show. Despite winning an award for Worst Television Series Overall it aired from January 10th, 2011 to Februrary 27th, 2018, making it the Unpokemon Channel's longest running show.
Because of the show's success and having nothing to do with his life in general, Ass turned the series into a large franchise, spawning games, stageplays, novels, a film trilogy and collaborations with anime franchises such as Psycho-Pass. A sequel titled Blastoid and Friends: After The Loop was released on April 7th, 2018. A Korean drama adaptation is currently in the works at MBC.
== Premise ==
In the year 2106, scientists discover (after somehow kidnapping Arceus and conducting weird experiments on him) large percentage of the Pokémon population possessing time altering powers that can activate randomly, some of these powers are so great that it can put the entire earth in danger. In response to this the government classifies this informaton and secretly forms RITAPED (Really Important Time Altering Pokémon Execution Department) as part of the KIPSB (Kind of Important Pokémon Safety Bureau). 
Any Pokémon with a time altering ability (or a Pokémon Trainer who owns a Pokémon with such a power) is hunted down and executed by RITAPED's Executioners, officers armed with talking scanner guns that can fucking explode a Pokémon and/or their trainer in one blast.
== Plot ==
One day, Pikachoo sneezes as usual. Almost immediately afterwards, he suffers from a heart attack and dies, only to come back to life some seconds later. While having dinner with his best friend Blastoid, Pikachoo gets another heart attack. After a conversation with her brother Blastoid about his worries for Pikachoo, Clastoid makes an arrangement with Dialga (in exchange for something) to find out what's wrong with Pikachoo. Dialga explains that Pikachoo is trapped within a time loop that kills him everytime he sneezes. Should this continue for 6 months, Pikachoo will explode and release a poisonous gas throughout the entire universe, causing all lifeforms in existence to perish. Being aware of RITAPED, the Pokémon god advises the two to run away with Pikachoo and cure him in secret.
However, the government's supercomputer detects Pikachoo as a major threat and identifies Blastoid and Clastoid as fugitives for harboring a dangerous Pokémon. RITAPED Division 01 Executioner Satoshi Kuroyama, rookie Akane Longjapanesename, and some other agents that will probably die, are on the hunt for Pikachoo and the two siblings.
Blastoid and Clastoid go on the run with Pikachoo to cure him in secret, but will they do so in time or become a pile of entrails by Executioners?.....
== CHARACTER == 
These are the main characters of the series, all designed by Asami Morohoshi. In a 2015 interview with UnPokemon Channel, Ass Ketchup stated that Blastoid is a fictionalized version of himself.
=== Main heroes === 
===Blastoid The Blastoise=== 
Portrayal: Subaru Toyotama (anime), Maxwell Zipperman (English dub), Yuki Saitozara (stageplays), Kim-jong Hee (Korean drama) 
The main protagonist of the show. A kindhearted 16 year old, he loves Pikachoo dearly and will do anything he can to save him. His relationship with his parents is rather strained due to his Pokémon breeding addiction, which is why he lives alone. He is a fugitive for harboring Pikachoo and is on the run with his sister. 
===Clastoid=== 
Portrayal: Kaori Fukuhara (anime), Katherine Lee Pult (English dub), Touko Mizuhara (stageplays), Kim-yu Jeong (Korean drama) 
The second protagonist of the series who is Blastoid's older sister. Her love of cute things often distracts her, but her intelligence and puzzle solving skills are her biggest strengths. She grows a strong attachment to her brother's Pikachoo after learning of his illness. She is also a fugitive on the run. 
===Pikachoo=== 
Portrayal: Ikue Otani (anime), Michael Locst (English dub), "Yamataro" (stageplays), Li-rong Park (Korean drama) 
The third protagonist and Blastoid's Pikachu who is trapped inside of a heart attack time loop that occurs everytime he sneezes. He is known in the science community for being proof that Pokémon can suffer from human sickness, a theory that has been disproven for a long time. He is deemed a threat by RITAPED. 
===Dialga=== 
Portrayal: Junichi Sukabe (anime), Joshua Ohshitz (English dub) 
Pokémon space god who willingly helps the two main protagonists on their journey to cure Pikachoo. He has a strange attraction to Clastoid, usually requesting her to do something for him in exchange for information. 
===Villains=== 
===RITAPED Division 01=== 
Executioners of RITAPED who are tasked with killing Pokémon possessing time altering abilities or powers. 
===Satoshi Kuroyama=== 
Portrayal: Tomozaku Sorudeki (anime), Robert McTetris (English dub), Miike Yamamoto (stageplays) 
A 30 year old Executioner partnered with Akane and former detective. He solves cases rather quickly, and his constantly angry expression contrasts his kind demeanor. Despite being the division's least idiotic officer, his hamburger addiction causes him to rob random McDonald's locations for Big Macs and his smoking habit resulted in him burning his own house down. His overly spiky hair is sometimes mistaken for a weapon.
===Akane Longjapanesename=== 
Portrayal: Kana Himeteru (anime), Emma Seidele (English dub), Sekkie Tomoharu (stageplays) 
A 20 year old rookie partnered with Satoshi who is often mistaken for a young boy due to her short hair and flat chest. She is kind and means well, but her clumsiness ruins most missions and she accuses the division of bullying her, despite simply giving her advice on how to do her job correctly. Her real last name is Miyakuzakiokariwarinodesutowairanai, but it's shortened to her current "last name" for obvious reasons. 
===Takashi Nobumoto=== 
Portrayal: Yuki Miyarino (anime), Josh MacGreggen (English dub), Makoto Shimizu (stageplays) 
A 25 year old Elite Executioner who has a single-minded goal of exterminating all Time Altering Pokémon. He is an angsty, bespectacled asswipe who yells at Akane, his co-workers, and even his own father to destress. He believes he is the most important person in the division simply due to his status as "the only handsome, glasses wearing elite". He has a strained relationship with his father due to his mac and cheese addiction "ruining his childhood" and is very jealous of his closeness with Satoshi.
===Carl McMacaroni=== 
Portrayal: Yusuke Arimoto (anime, 2011-2019), Keith Dounsberry (English dub), Junpei Satozaki (stageplay) 
A 56 year old Executioner who is arguably the dumbest in the division. Despite having years of detective experience and wearing a trenchcoat, he is very bad at deducing clues and proof. His serious addiction to macaroni and cheese caused his wife to divorce him. He shares a good relationship with Satoshi due to their common love of burgers and treats him like his own son, but his relationship with his actual son is complicated.
===Yaoki Rokugozuka=== 
Portrayal: Kotomi Ikeda (anime), Katy Steel (English dub), Maiko Kitarui (stageplays) 
A 29 year old Executioner who wears a serious expression on her face almost everyday. She professes her love for Akane daily, who brushes it off due not understanding why anybody would like her. 
===Ronald "Lil McNugget" Showakage=== 
Portrayal: Akihisa Mineda (anime), Toby Scott (English dub), Shoto Kiragane (stageplays) 
A carefree 19 year old Executioner who is banned from investigations due to his sometimes sexual jokes. He is very into pop culture and video games, making references to them occasionally. As a virgin, he frequently masturbates to x-rated games and videos, wishing he had a girlfriend. He is very influenced by rap culture, trying to jumpstart his rap career under the name Lil McNugget.
==Development==
In 2001, the UnPokemon Channel cancelled Deadpool's Show due to low ratings and nobody caring about it in general. Blastoid, the show's breakout character, became even more popular after the cancellation, with many fanfictions made with him being the main character. Many of them weren't made into a show, until....
A retard by the name of Ash Ketchum sued McDonald's for falling down stairs and breaking his arm while eating Chicken McNuggets. This gave him the idea for a television series about a kid going on adventures with his Pikachu, a very original concept that totally hasn't been done before. After losing the case, he wrote the script and named it Blastoid and Friends, which he came up with while on the toilet.
Ash submitted the first draft of the script to the UnPokemon Channel's program team, with the pitch literally being "the spinoff to deadpool show or something?". The team director disapproved of the script, calling the story "bland, nonsensical, absolutely horrible" and the grammar "atrocious". The director suggested making the entire story a quest revolving around a sneezing Pikachu to give the show identity. Ass liked this suggestion and let it slide.
The director wrote in the series' current plot, with Ash giving ideas for a villain group. Ass, after watching one episode of Psycho-Pass and somehow comprehending it, decided that a group of police officers (agents?) would be villains. 
===Character development===
Ass tried to draw the characters, but.... It didn't go so well. Therefore, Asami Morohoshi, artist of Pokemon PoopBrown's horrible manga, was in charge of character design.
== Trivia Time!==
*On the Japanese Version of Unpokèmon Channel, Blastoid-And-Friends is instead named Blastoid-And-Friends. - THE ANIMATION -, which makes zero sense considering that its not even animated nor based on a video game.
*This was Ash Ketchum's first acting job before he became a Pokemon Trainer. The directors describe his impressions of the Final Fantasy characters to be “very cringey”.
*Uhcakip only appeared in Episode 1 and no other episodes.
*Stinkachu was last seen on this series before it commited suicide by licking itself.
*It is revealed that the King of Cuba story arc was put in for filler.
*The series was originally going to be on HBO, but the pilot was too stupid for the network to handle.
*Blastoid The Blastoise's bored and disinterested eyes were tried to be replaced by lively eyes, but you could still see the bored ones thanks to poor editing skills.
*Blastoid and his friend kiss in one episode.
==The Trash Seasons with Trash Shorts.==
===Season 1===
* Pikachoo's heart attack.
*In search of the magic poke'mon named MEW!
*Raichu eats a PICHU!
*THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON STRIKES AGAIN AND EATS A ZOMBIE!
*Barney eats a stinki'n forest!
*CAPSLOCK
*I AM MAMA LUIGI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Magikarp Is a Villian! (M.I.V.)
*BLASTOID DE-EVOLVES BACK TO WARTORTLE!
*Caterpie Turns Into A Slice Of Pie!
*CLOUD STRIFE GETS FLUSHED DOWN TOILET WHILE HIS HUGE JUNK IS EXPOSED!
*CATERPIE GETS COOKED BY IGNIS SCIENTIA AND DIES!!!!!!!!!!!
*CATERPIE LIVES ON IN SEWER!!!!!!
===Season 2===
* The Magic poke'mon named mew returns!!!!!!!!
*The crossover with the super mario bros. super show!
*Stinkachu stinks up a cake!
*R.I.P. Mew
*Wartortle evolves back into BLASTOID!
*Creature from the black lagoon eats BARNEY!
*ELMO TAKES OVER CAMP ROCK!
*Blastoid in the valcano!
*PROMPTO ARGENTUM'S BATH TIME STORYES!
*TIFA LOCKHEART -VS- MEW FROM THE GRAVE?!!!!!
*THE REGALIA CAN FLY!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!
===Season 3===
* Mew will be missed.
*Pikachoo is diei'n faster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*I cant spel vairee gewd.
*ANOTHER CROSSOVER WITH THA DANG MARIO BROS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Lilo & Stich ATTACK!
*I stil kan nawt spel gewd agen!
*Blastoid-VS-ChimChar part 1
* Blastoid-VS-ChimChar part 2
* Blastoid-VS-ChimChar part 3
* Blastoid-VS-ChimChar part 4
* R.I.P. ChimChar.
*CLOUD STRIFE RETURNS!!!!!!!
*LUNAFREYA TRIES TO COOK!!!!!!
*NOCTIS DIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
===Season 4===
* Meowth attacks!
*Good bye, Purugly.
*VERY DRAMATIC EPISODE! (GASP!)
*To MARS and BEYOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*The mystery of Poochyena!
*Nothings Poochier than Poochyena!
*Mew RESURECTS!
*Mew RESURECTS!pt. 2
* NOCTIS RESURRECTS!!!!!!!!
*IGNIS AND GLADIOLUS ARGUE OVER CUP NOODLES AND SPAGHETTI!!!!!!!!!!!!
*PROMPTO GETS EATEN BY A CHOCOBO!!!!!!!!!
===Season 5===
* The Evil Pichu club.
*Obey Deadpool, Destroy Blastoid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Blastoid Dies.
*Blastoid's Funeral.
*Blastoid RETURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Elmo-VS-Sonic the HedgeHog.
*Pok'e Island is destroyed.
*VENGANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Blastoid-VS-Barney.
*ChimChar RETURNS!
*Yoshi-VS-Stinkachu!
*Ash Ketchem-VS-Charizard.
*NO MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Ash Ketchup-VS-Ash Mustard!!!???
*Vengance is Ours!
*KING OF CUBA'S HEAD ASPLODES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*King of Cuba SURVIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ARDYN STEALS MEW'S MAGIC?!!!
*PIKACHOO IS DYING FASTER AND FASTER!!!!!!
*NOCTIS GOES ON ROAD TRIP WITH HIS BUDDIES TO RECLAIM MEW'S MAGIC!!!!!!!
===Last Season===
* A sample of Mew's magic.......FOUND!
*Jigglypuff's Take Over
*The wise Chikorita.
*Journey through N.Y.
*TIME TO RETURN TO WHERE WE WERE IN THE FIRST EPISODE OF SEASON 1!
*Poochyena is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Blastoid -VS- Deadpool.
*An unlikely allie.
*Pika the Creepy Pikachu DIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*FINAL EPISODE!
*LUNAFREYA GETS TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE!!!
*PROMPTO LEARNS ABOUT HIS TRUE SELF!!!
*KING OF CUBA WREAKS HAVOC ON LUCIS???!!!!!!
*FINAL FANTASY XV AWESOME EPISODE!!!
*REAL FINAL EPISODE!
====Shorts.==== 
*BLASTOID'S (bleeping) DANCE PARTY!
*The King Of Cuba-VS-The Prince of Persia.
*Deadpool's REVENGE!
*When blastoid met clastoid.(A ROMANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!)
*Noctis says goodbye.
*PROMPTO CONFESSES to CINDY.
Category:Shows
Category:Things rated by ESRB
Category:Soap operas
Category:Pudding related crap.