The Sweetest Thing/Trailer transcripts

The Columbia Pictures logo is shown.
:Christina Walters (Cameron Diaz): So I took a chance on a guy and it didn't work out. (As she says this, we cut from the logo to Christina and her friends) So what? I'm not upset about it. I'm just...accepting where I am right now. (A montage of clips of Christina begins)
:Announcer: Christina Walters had had her heart broken one too many times. So she vowed to never let any man get too close.
:Roger (Jason Bateman): Peekaboo, I see you!
:Christina: (As she gets her purse) I'm going home. (Crossfade to an overhead shot of the street)
:Announcer: But just when she'd given up on love...
:Christina: I think I'm just gonna order a pizza and stay in tonight. (Cut to the film's main trio)
:Courtney (Christina Applegate): Oh, no-no-no-no, no, no, no, no, no.
:Christina: (As she backs into the bathroom door) See ya here.
Two guys in the way stumble and fall over, knocking down Peter (Thomas Jane) as well. He and Christina look at each other, and she smiles as the music changes.
:Announcer: ...love found her.
:Peter: Hi.
:Christina: ...Hi. (Cut to a golfing scene)
:Roger: What was goin' on with you at the club with that hottie? (As he says this, it cuts to a shot of him and Christina)
:Peter: Nothing. (Cut to a scene of the leads having lunch together)
:Christina: Nothing. (We then see a shot of Peter)
:Courtney: This guy didn't get under your skin--
:Christina: (As it cuts back to the trio) No!
:Roger: (And back to the nightclub) You're never gonna find anyone better than my brother here. He is the greatest here and-- (Peter pinches his chin) I'm serious, that hurts me.
:Peter: Okay.
:Roger: And that's why you're my wedding on Saturday, right? (Back to the trio)
:Courtney: You might really like him, (Cut to a scene of Christina exercising) but you're just too afraid to admit it.
:Jane (Selma Blair): Whatever happened to my cool, confident Courtney?
:Courtney: Mmm. It's a big facade.
The music changes to Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" as we cut to an overhead shot of New York City.
:Announcer: This season...
:Roger: I can see it in your eyes, you wiped her.
:Peter: Nothin' I can do about it now. (Crossfade to a later scene with him and Christina in separate cars.)
:Christina: (As she points at him) You! (Peter hits his head on the car window) Oh gosh!
:Peter: Ow!
:Christina: He's really cute. (The scene cuts to her running toward Peter's car)
:Announcer: ...she's going after the one who got away. (Back to lunch)
:Christina: I could show up at his brother's wedding. He is gonna be there 'cause it's his brother, right?
:Courtney: Okay, let's go! (Crossfade to an overhead shot before cutting to the bathroom scene)
:Announcer: But the road to Mr. Right...
:Christina and Courtney: Ewwwww.
Courtney pulls the handle off the urinal, releasing a burst of water from the wall, and she and Christina fall to the floor, screaming
:Announcer: ...is paved with surprises. (We then cut to another scene on the road)_
:Christina: Oh, what?
:Courtney: I dropped my, uh, thing to my lip gloss.
:Christina: I'll get it.
She leans over to underneath the driver's seat to get it, only for a passing motorcycle cop to notice. From his vantage point, it looks like Courtney is getting oral sex, which excites the cop before he unwillingly crashes into a sign reading "RIGHT LANE CLOSED AHEAD" and falls down. The scene then changes to Roger's wedding, where more hijinks ensue.
:Christina: I might as well strap a sign on that says "stalk her!" (She knocks over the plant, and everyone looks on.)
:Courtney: This isn't the Glickman bar mitzvah, is it? No? Moisha?
:Peter: Christina?
:Christina: My God. (They run out of the chapel, and it cuts to more scenes as the music changes to the Isley Brothers' "This Old Heart of Mine")
:Announcer: Columbia Pictures invites you...
:Roger and Peter: FORE! (Both of their balls hit a passing golf cart)
:Cart Driver: OW! GOD!
:Christina: Love is crazy and that's what love is.
:Announcer: ...to the most unexpected... (Peter gets hit in the groin)
:Peter: Oooh!
:Courtney: They're fake. You can touch 'em if you want to. (Judy [Parker Posey] laughs it off)
:Christina: Touch it.
:Man: It's like chicks always go to the bathroom together!
:Announcer: ...romantic comedy of the year.
The montage continues
:Christina: Whoo!
:Courtney: I just wish there was some sort of sign from God that you and this Peter Donahew guy were supposed to be together.
:Announcer: Cameron Diaz. (Peter just stands there, then we cut to Jane and Courtney)
:Jane: USE HER AND GET HIM!
Just as they approach each other, a car passes by, splashing water onto them, interrupting the music.
:Christina: COME ON! (We then cut to the film's title forming against a blue background that changes to purple)
:Announcer: The Sweetest Thing.
:Christina: What is this? Jeez, I--
She and Courtney start screaming once they realize that they're holding a piece of tinfoil covered in maggots, and they throw it out the car window. They continue to argue before it eventually lands on the front window, and the scene irises out to the same purple background from earlier, this time with a web URL, rating information, the Columbia Pictures logo, and "DISTRIBUTED THROUGH SONY PICTURES RELEASING" on it. The trailer fades out afterwards.
Category:Trailer transcripts