Batmobile BATTLE!

Batmobile BATTLE! is the first episode and Series Premiere of Death Race, featuring Michael Keaton Batman, Christian Bale Batman, Arkham Batman, Adam West Batman, and Burt Ward Robin from DC Comics in a race to determine the best Batmobile. Adam West Batman was voiced by Kamran Nikhad and Burt Ward Robin was voiced by Nicholas Andrew Louie.
==Interlude==
Ringmaster: Come one, come all to this vainglorious video of vehicular violence! I am the Ringmaster, and this is Death Race! There's no research, only blood, oil, and the salty tears of a woman named Martha. That's right, this is a race between a bunch of dudes in black latex with serious mommy issues! (fake cries)
He comes up close to the camera.
Ringmaster: Don't read into that. I'm talking about Batman and his many Batmobiles! Four-wheeled Swiss army death buggies of the night!
==Michael Keaton Batmobile==
Ringmaster: First up is the Burton-mobile, the gothic, '90s, overly phallic bringer of destruction! This baby's got grappling hooks, machine guns, and retractable armor that makes it the vehicle of choice for a true dark knight! Just make sure Danny DeVito doesn't get a hold of it!
==Tumbler==
Ringmaster: If you're looking for something that we can all "pretend" is more realistic, we've got the Tumbler from Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy! This all-terrain monster of a tank barely qualifies as a car and will steamroll through RPGs if it has to! It's got a rocket launcher, a jet engine, and a stealth mode, which is hilarious for a car with a rocket launcher and a jet engine!
==Arkham Batmobile==
Ringmaster: The tumbler's cousin is the Batmobile from the Arkham games! It has a 60 millimeter canon, and a Vulcan minigun with unfortunately does not fire miniature sparks. All perfect tools for a hero who definitely, DEFINITELY does not kill! This video game's behemoth's only weakness is psychotic ice cream truck drivers, which... we will not be seeing today! Uh... right? Right?
==Adam West Batmobile==
Ringmaster: And last, but not least is the classic, the OG, the Adam West-mobile from the swinging 60s! Based on the 1955 Lincoln Futura, this baby's got a Bat-ray, Bat-magnet, Batphone, Batzooka, and battering ram, which is the only gadget that works as a pun.
We cut to Ringmaster.
Ringmaster: With all that out of the way, let's join our commentators Wiz and Boomstick and get this Death Race started!
==Prelude==
We cut to Wiz and Boomstick, the latter wearing a Batman mask and cap.
Wiz: Thanks, Ringmaster. Our racers are at their marks, and ready to go— What are you wearing?
Boomstick: It's called theming, Wiz. I'm a professional entertainer who cares about the craft. I even brought my own bat beer cans, made from real bat! Mmm... Bat-tastic!
Wiz: Here's how this is going to work. Whichever racer makes it to the finish line first wins, but there's no rules concerning how they get there.
Ringmaster: The race is about to begin, but first, a word from our gracious sponsor, DoorDash.
Ringmaster reads out a sponsor for DoorDash.
==Death Race==
Wiz: Now, let's join our racers at the starting line.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH RAAACE!!!
Wiz: And the Burton-mobile takes the lead!
We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.
Wiz: Doing no small part I'm sure to its unique aerodynamics.
Boomstick: It looks like a dong. Looks like he's out of practice. He's making a mess with it!
Wiz: An oil slick, giving this tight spacing will be difficult to— There they go! This may be our first death!
Boomstick: Ohohoho! Who knew oil and jet rockets don't mix?
Wiz: The West-mobile makes the Dozierverse proud.
Boomstick: It looks like they might have a bat scheme up their bat sleeve.
Wiz: Unless the Arkham Knight-mobile takes them out first, Boomstick. That 60 millimeter cannon is tearing up the track!
Boomstick: Oh, wait, wait, check it out! The tumbler's fighting back! ♫Crossfire! CROSSFIRE~!♫
We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.
Boomstick: And the tumbler goes a tumbling! Ooh, bad luck, buddy. I know this is rich coming from me, but sometimes, you really shouldn't take the bait.
Wiz: Impressive! With some quick thinking, the Batpod comes in clutch at the last minute.
Boomstick: Wow, it is moving, Wiz!
Wiz: Yes, with that extra maneuverability, the most grounded Batman of them all might actually have a chance to fall-
Wiz: ...Never mind.
We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.
Wiz: Built miles above Gotham City, what better obstacle for our track than a Gothamite's worst nightmare: traffic. Wait a minute, are those civilians on the track?
Boomstick: What better obstacle than innocent people, Wiz? These are Batmen. There's no way they'd kill—
Wiz: God, why did I let you handle obstacle acquisition?
Boomstick: Whatever that means, I did it good.
Burt Ward Robin: Holy copycat, Batman! These dumb bastards have a death wish!
Adam West Batman: Then you better answer their prayers, old chum!
Boomstick: With just two Batmobiles left, we're getting close to the finish line!
Wiz: Someone's going to have to make a move, if Burton's keep moving with secret explosives!
Boomstick: Look out, Adam!
We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.
Boomstick: Are you seeing this, Wiz? I know the Batmobiles can do a lot of stuff, but I didn't know that one could fly!
Ringmaster: And the winner is uh... Actually, uh, who does win? Is this to the death, or is it an actual race? Like... Who came up with the rules for this?!
Boomstick: I vote for the one that freaking flew!
Ringmaster: Haha! Good enough for me! The winner is the Adam West-mobile!
Boomstick: Ah, so beautiful, Wiz. Taking a picture with my mind. Click!
Wiz: Dozens of people are injured... and dead.
Boomstick: I know, it's a real shame, Wiz. But I'm sure we can pump those numbers up for next time!
The monitor cuts to Ringmaster.
Ringmaster: You saw it first here, folks! Come back next week for another DEATH RACE!
==Original Track==
===Composition===
The track for this race is "Battle of the Bats" by Therewolf Media.
===Title===
The title simply refers to how this race is between four different versions of Batman.
===Cover Art===
The cover art simply depicts the Death Race logo in front of a dark blue sky.
==Trivia==
===Production===
*The connections between the racers are that they are all different versions of Batman.
*Strangely, the two images for Batman on the thumbnail are both of the DCAU version of Batman despite him not being present at all in the race.
Category:Death Race Episodes