Headhunters 5: The Tenacious Ten

==Introduction==
Nothing hurts Moore than being killed by the one you loved most. 
==In Memorium: What Hurts Moore?==
Like the killers in the Scream franchise, it's "Always somebody you know." In this case, the slasher in this horror movie was none other than former Packer Davante Adams, who felled the Green Bay fan in a shocking MNF collapse. 
For most of the weekend, it wasn't looking like What Hurts Moore was hurting at all. At various points, Commish, Obi-Wan, and Bye Diggs were all projected far lower than the rest of the league. While most of Henry VIII's team performed average or below, they were somewhat saved by 10 catches from Evan Engram. And even though C.J. Stroud, who What Hurts inexplicably paid $256 for, was performing under expectation, Jalen Hurts and NYJ defense was surging in the 1pm window and looked to be bailing this team out. Both squads seemed safe for week 8. 
That left Obi Wan - with Detroit Defense - and Bye Diggs - with DJ Moore - to battle it out. And when DJ Moore performed just okay, not great, it really looked as if Detroit defense was going to decide who got chopped. 
And in a way it sort of did. Jimmy GaroppoBlow made like Tyrod Taylor's lungs and completely collapsed, completing just a single catch to Davante Adams all night. Mind you, this was on SEVEN targets. One target reminded me of Jimmy G's Super Bowl overthrow as he had Davante wide open for a 40+ yard touchdown and missed him by a mile. I haven't seen someone be that far off on a target since Scotty bid $101 on Justice Hill. Davante needed to just not suck. Instead, he couldn't even muster the strength to suck. 
The saddest part of all was that Courtland Sutton was left on the bench, with his impeccable PPG. Sutton outscored five members of the starting lineup, including more points than all his starting RBs and TEs combined. For all the boasting of how great this man was, What Hurts only started him one time in eight weeks. 
As always, injury played a hand in this chopping. Darren Baller could not have come up Darren Smaller, leaving with an early hip injury and still somehow leading the Giants in receiving yards on the day with 4 whopping yards. Tre McBride should have been named Dies McBride because he rode the pine with ten catches, enough fantasy points to have won Moore the day even if he had started him in the Superflex spot over Stroud and kept Darren in the TE position. 
It was also a bad day for Smiles Sanders, who has no choice but to grin and bear it because if you're not laughing you're crying and that's exactly what I want to do every time I watch him run. 
Ultimately, twas Coach Tebo Wheelin' and Dealin' that slayed the trade beast. He traded DJ Moore for, in part, Gardner Minshew. But then he dropped Minshew and played out the ass for C.J. Stroud. With no money, no DJ Moore, and no good QBs, he had somehow done the reverse thing of that lady who turned a paperclip into a Porsche on Ebay by just trading up for slightly better things. 
Though the 4am trade proposals have come to an end, the memories will live on forever. I hope Courtland Sutton finds a good home with a loving owner who will start him instead of trying to sell him like animal meat. You're finally free, Courtland, you're finally free.
What Hurts Moore?:
==Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)==
Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)
Team 	2023 Finish	2022 Finish	2021 Finish	2020 Finish	2019 Finish
Hasta Laviska Baby 	18th (-17) 	1st (+16) 	17th (-7) 	10th (+2) 	12th
Out of Luck 	17th (-13) 	4th (+-0) 	4th (+1) 	5th (+9) 	14th
Bobecue Chicken 	16th (-1) 	15th (-12) 	3rd (+14) 	17th (-10) 	7th
Jethro's Glorious Team	15th (+1) 	N/A 	16th (-7) 	9th (+7) 	16th
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	14th (+-0) 	14th (+2) 	19th (-6) 	3rd (-2) 	1st
The Guilloteam 	13th (-2) 	11th (+2) 	13th (-6) 	7th (-4) 	3rd
deCaPitated 	12th (-9) 	3rd (+11) 	14th (-8) 	6th (-4) 	2nd
What Hurts Moore? 	11th (+6) 	16th (-6) 	11th (-9) 	2nd 	N/A
Nice improved run for Moore after falling each of the last two seasons. 
==Dead Money==
Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.
Dead Money 2023
Dead Money	% of Total Eliminated Cash
$4,644 	58%
Moore left us with just $43 in his pocket. 
==Top New Releases==
#Courtland Sutton
#Courtland Sutton
#Courtland Sutton
#Courtland Sutton
#Courtland Sutton
==Week Eight Bidding Results==
Week Eight Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid	Next Highest Bid
Ja'Marr Chase 	Jeff Probst' Tribe 	$313 	$259 (Bad Boys II)
C.J. Stroud 	What Hurts Moore? 	$256 	$118 (Jeff Probst' Tribe)
Bijan Robinson 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack	$191 	$187 (Obi-Wan Mahomie)
CeeDee Lamb 	Monty's Python 	$187 	$169 (Headless Horsemen)
Dallas Goedert 	Headless Horsemen 	$124 	$77 (Henry VIII)
Brian Robinson 	Henry VIII 	$38 	$24 (Jeff Probst' Tribe)
Deshaun Watson 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$35 	N/A
Amari Cooper 	Headless Horsemen 	$33 	$20 (Jeff Probst' Tribe)
Zach Charbonnet 	Bye Diggs my RIP for sure-oh	$21 	N/A
Jordan Love 	Headless Horsemen 	$13 	$11 (Obi-Wan Mahomie)
Michael Thomas 	Henry VIII 	$11 	$2 (Headless Horsemen)
Emari Demercado 	What Hurts Moore? 	$11 	N/A
Philadelphia Defense 	Henry VIII 	$4 	$3 (Obi-Wan Mahomie)
Darrell Henderson Jr.	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$3 	N/A
Gardner Minshew 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$3 	N/A
Detroit Defense 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$1 	N/A
===Quick-Hit Thoughts===
*Last Year's Most Expensive Player: Patrick Mahomes - $370 (Hasta Laviska Baby)
*Biggest Overpay: C.J. Stroud ($138 over next highest bid - What Hurts Moore?)
*Narrowest Margin of Bid Victory: Bijan Robinson ($4 over next highest bid - Bad Boys II) 
*Christian Watson went from cocsting $55 on 10/18 to being picked up for free by Müller Lite in week 8, and I'm not even sure he's worth that. 
*Obi-Wan was saved this week by a pair of players that nobody else even bid on. For $4, Obi-Wan got Detroit Defense (31) and Darrell Henderson Jr. (13.58).
*After lying dormant for a while, it was nice to see Headless Horsemen back in action. They had been low on funds, but the league has since caught back up to them and they were able to make some moves in week eight. 
*Tough to argue with the CeeDee bid after he had such a huge week, but $187 seems like a lot for Monty to bid on a WR. That is, until you realize that this team was still starting Joshua Palmer.
==Excessive Spend==
Excessive spend is anything over a single dollar more than the next highest bid for the player you won, and does not take into account the talent level or value of the player.
Excessive Spend
Team 	Excessive Spend
Never Done This Before	$412
Headless Horsemen 	$291
What Hurts Moore? 	$284
deCaPitated 	$274
Tee Diggs my Chubb 	$220
Henry VIII 	$209
Jethro's Glorious Team	$146
Bobecue Chicken 	$138
Jeff Probst' Tribe 	$127
Müller Lite 	$119
The Guilloteam 	$107
Monty's Python 	$99
Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$93
Bad Boys II 	$75
Extra Tight Ends 	$43
Al Snows Fav Squad 	$2
Bad Boys II with a very impressive excessive spend number, having almost depleted their entire budget through eight weeks. They somehow have overspent by less than 10%. 
==Money Spent Per Week==
Money Spent Per Week
Week	Budget Spent 	Budget Spent (2022)	Budget Spent (2021)	Budget Spent (2020)	Budget Spent (2019)
2 	$2,315 (16 Players)	$1,560 (15 Players)	$9 (2 Players) 	$1,173 (12 Players)	$1,339 (7 Players)
3 	$1,423 (15 Players)	$1,160 (10 Players)	$1,283 (10 Players)	$1,033 (7 Players) 	$1,902 (15 Players)
4 	$1,256 (14 Players)	$1,475 (10 Players)	$657 (8 Players) 	$1,182 (11 Players)	$1,614 (11 Players)
5 	$1,612 (16 Players)	$1,740 (13 Players)	$1,376 (11 Players)	$181 (4 Players) 	$1,743 (14 Players)
6 	$1,203 (13 Players)	$1,355 (14 Players)	$1,231 (10 Players)	$1,542 (10 Players)	$1,018 (11 Players)
7 	$1,040 (16 Players)	$45 (6 Players) 	$965 (10 Players) 	$1,494 (13 Players)	$1,036 (9 Players)
8 	$1,244 (16 Players)	$1,085 (13 Players)	$2,159 (15 Players)	$1,938 (17 Players)	$630 (7 Players)
Season 5 just became the first year where over $1000 was spent each of the first eight weeks.
==Week Eight Results==
Week Eight Results
Finish (Last Week)	Player 	Total Points
1 (6) 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack (KVR) 	286.71
2 (4) 	Never Done This Before (Scott) 	275.52
3 (9) 	Jeff Probst' Tribe (Joe Cola) 	273.33
4 (11) 	Monty's Python (Derek) 	243.58
5 (8) 	Headless Horsemen (Andrew) 	203.60
6 (3) 	Müller Lite (Roger) 	201.17
7 (1) 	Extra Tight Ends (Keeling) 	198.18
8 (2) 	Henry VIII (Commish) 	187.57
9 (5) 	Obi-Wan Mahomie (Wolfe) 	180.56
10 (10) 	Bye Diggs my RIP for sure-oh (Nate)	170.50
11 (7) 	What Hurts Moore? (Coach Tebo) 	158.42
12 	deCaPitated (Chris) 	0
13 	The Guilloteam (Pat) 	0
14 	Al Snows Fav Squad (Zach) 	0
15 	Jethro's Glorious Team (Jethro) 	0
16 	Bobecue Chicken (Bob) 	0
17 	Out of Luck (Papa) 	0
18 	Hasta Laviska Baby (Jared) 	0
*Biggest Climber: Monty's Python (^7)
*Biggest Faller: Extra Tight Ends/Henry VIII (v6)
Good comeback week for Monty, while ETE has their worst performance since week 1.
==Draft Dodgers==
Team Results Based on Draft Position
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	ALIVE
2 	Extra Tight Ends 	ALIVE
3 	The Guilloteam 	6
4 	What Hurts Moore? 	8
5 	Al Snows Fav Squad 	5
6 	Henry VIII 	ALIVE
7 	Müller Lite 	ALIVE
8 	Never Done This Before 	ALIVE
9 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack 	ALIVE
10 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	4
11 	Monty's Python 	ALIVE
12 	Bobecue Chicken 	3
13 	Out of Luck 	2
14 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	1
15 	Headless Horsemen 	ALIVE
16 	Jeff Probst' Tribe 	ALIVE
17 	Tee Diggs my Chubb for sure-oh	ALIVE
18 	deCaPitated 	7
Three of the top five picks have been eliminated in the last four weeks.
==Kings of the Castle==
===1. Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack===
Will face the closest thing to a "test" in week 9 with no LaPorta or CMC, but they are so stacked that they are offloading bench talent that I would be starting in an eight team league. That could just be due to me sucking at fantasy and KVR being the smartest person I've ever met. Hard to say. 
===2. Never Done This Before===
This team has hung in there very well, and got a huge boost with Will Levis (50 surprise points). Jahmyr Gibbs has finally arrived, making that $501 investment almost seem worth it. Gibbs will just have to continue doing that for the next two months. This team may be out of money, but now that we're at 10 teams, there is enough waiver talent to get back into the streaming game at any position. Amazingly, this team is still going strong. 
===3. Jeff Probst' Tribe===
All around great performance. The only starter who did not beat projection was Keenan Allen, who still managed a respectable 16.50. Unfortunately we have to Kendrick Mourne this week because Bourne is Dead. With Amon-Ra/Russell Wilson on the bye, the Tribe is going to have to hope Heart Attack Mac Jones and Tyler Allgears No Fears is up to the task of holding down the fort. 
===4. Monty's Python===
Huge gamble this week. Russell Wilson and Jared Goff are both on the bye, and Joshua Dobbs has lost his starting job (guess they should call him Doshua No Jobbs). That leaves exactly zero starters on the roster. Python traded away Russ for Danny Dimes, who is hopefully back from his neck injury. But that still leaves the position very thin for week 9, and they are also without Aiyuk, Kittle, and (for what it's worth since he's been injured) David Montgomery. This is the scariest week yet for the snake. UPDATE: Dobbs to Minnesota definitely helps, but I'm not taking out my amazing Jobbs joke. Fuck you. 
===5. Headless Horsemen===
Back from bye, QBs are carrying the team, with Joe Cool and Dak Impresscott combining for nearly 100 points. That made up for the Halloween tricks that HH had to deal with, like the ghost of Jakobi Meyers and the RB of the living dead named Aaron Jones. They may be from Sleepy Hollow, but it looks like Headless Horsemen isn't tired of Headhunters just yet. They are performing amongst the top expansion teams (non-season 1 managers) of all time. 
==On the Chopping Block==
===10. Bye Diggs my RIP for sure-oh===
There are the haves (Bad Boys, ETE, Monty) and the have-nots. Bye Diggs is the poster child of the have-nots. Diggs has spent over 64% of their budget. Of that, $328 was on QBs who are no longer on the team, and $85 was on defenses that are no longer on the team. However, Bye Diggs has pulled off two trades, one for DJ Moore and one for Rashaad White. Both players could prove crucial in the survival of the premiere have-not in the league. 
===9. Obi-Wan Mahomie===
Patrick Mahomes could not have tried harder to send Obi-Wan home. On his last drive he got sacked twice and threw a pick. Chris Olave tried to do his part too, getting pulled over for going over the speed limit and then showing up on Sunday to go under the fantasy projectionl limit. Matt Stafford, desperate for a change in scenery, smashed his hand over and over against the defender's helmet until finally McVay saw enough and pulled him. But Obi-Wan used his force powers (kinda cheating) and kept his season alive. 
===8. Henry VIII ===
Speaking of have-nots...Henry Has-Not finished in the top five very often this season. Even though they have slowly improved every week, they have yet to bring in a true stud to anchor the team. Their best player has been Jordan Addison, and now he has nobody to throw to him. With Brock Purdy on the bye, Henry has to turn to...gulp...Jimmy Garoppolo at QB. It's scary hours. 
===7. Extra Tight Ends===
Decided to start two QBs for the first time this year and look where it landed him. Both at least beat projection, but Kirk Cousins was lost in the process. I guess it wasn't the best week to start Zach Wilson over DeAndre Hopkins. 
===6. Müller Lite===
The most amazing part of this team is that Logan Thomas isn't dead yet. The other shocker is that they had five players below projection and still finished 6th. They lose the Kirk, Etienne couple in week 9 so once again they have to do the bye dance. 
==Average Scores of Eliminated Teams==
Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Played
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	181.30 	5
What Hurts Moore? 	177.12 	8
DeCaPitated 	172.53 	7
The Guilloteam 	169.07 	6
Jethro's Glorious Team	163.20 	4
Out of Luck 	160.68 	2
Bobecue Chicken 	140.44 	3
Hasta Laviska Baby 	97.49 	1
==Narrow Defeats==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
Hasta Laviska Baby 	1.21 	1
Jethro's Glorious Team	4.13 	4
The Guilloteam 	10.69 	6
What Hurts Moore? 	12.08 	8
Out of Luck 	14.67 	2
Bobecue Chicken 	21.19 	3
deCaPitated 	45.13 	7
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	50.59 	5
==Unique Players Started==
How many unique players (Defense included) were started by each team. The table can be sorted by players and also by week eliminated.
Unique Players Started
Team 	Players Started	Week Eliminated
The Guilloteam 	25 	6
What Hurts Moore? 	21 	8
deCaPitated 	21 	7
Bobecue Chicken 	16 	3
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	15 	5
Jethro's Glorious Team	12 	4
Out of Luck 	11 	2
Hasta Laviska Baby 	9 	1
==Rulers of the Kingdom==
2023 first place finishers:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Monty's Python 	228.65
2 	Extra Tight Ends 	227.45
3 	Headless Horsemen 	266.15
4 	Monty's Python (2) 	260.79
5 	Extra Tight Ends (2)	264.57
6 	Müller Lite 	208.67
7 	Extra Tight Ends (3)	250.96
8 	Bad Boys II 	286.71
Before kickoff, Bad Boys predicted a 300-pt day. They didn't hit that, but they came close and had the best performance of 2023 in the process. 
==Dungeon Dwellers==
2023 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:
Low Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Extra Tight Ends 	98.70
2 	Never Done This Before 	150.50
3 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack 	124.83
4 	deCaPitated 	130.88
5 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh 	138.70
6 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh (2)	153.44
7 	Monty's Python 	154.43
8 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh (3)	170.50
Last week I guaranteed 154 wouldn't cut it for long, and sure enough the team that went home scored 158 this week. Sorry...this EEEEK. 
==Single Season Scoring Records==
As teams get eliminated, their single season performance will appear here. Bolded lines indicate performances from the current season.
What Hurts Moore almost has the same campaign as in 2021. 
All-Time Single Season HH Point Records
Score 	Player 	Year
3,697.30	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2022
3,581.72	Beach McBungalow (Tee Diggs my Chubb)	2022
3428.76 	CP 	2019
3402.18 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2019
3363.88 	CP (deCaPitated) 	2022
3121.28 	Return of the Mac 	2021
3049.02 	Bobecue Chicken 	2021
3015.53 	Mixon Beer 	2020
3013.13 	Müller Lite 	2021
2997.67 	The Guilloteam 	2019
2980.07 	Last Coach Standing 	2020
2833.37 	Out of Luck 	2022
2743.25 	@FFDraftScott 	2020
2733.07 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2020
2709.59 	Mac 	2019
2677.20 	Out of Luck 	2021
2675.14 	Wildcat (no QBs no problem) 	2022
2620.18 	The Titanic 	2021
2614.60 	burrow for sure-oh 	2022
2438.96 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack 	2022
2422.98 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	2019
2377.31 	The Guilloteam 	2020
2285.51 	CP 	2020
2282.91 	Out of Luck 	2020
2262.36 	Bad Boys 	2021
2233.57 	Soul Survivor (burrow for sure-oh) 	2021
2134.22 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	2021
2046.35 	LIVEWithIt 	2019
2034.86 	Laser Rocket Arms 	2022
1941.63 	Bobecue Chicken 	2019
1939.02 	Beach McBungalow 	2021
1936.45 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2021
1862.19 	Henry VIII 	2022
1817.79 	Carole Pigskin 	2020
1749.51 	The Guilloteam 	2021
1736.99 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2019
1611.76 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2020
1512.91 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2020
1509.41 	CP 	2021
1483.70 	Last Coach Standing 	2021
1473.18 	Henry VIII 	2021
1439.40 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2020
1416.99 	What Hurts Moore? 	2023
1357.00 	Henry VIII 	2019
1351.99 	Muller Lite 	2022
1300.35 	The Guilloteam 	2022
1238.56 	Bluedevils 	2019
1207.69 	deCaPitated 	2023
1182.09 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	2021
1160.81 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2021
1132.61 	Henry VIII 	2020
1116.98 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2020
1055.63 	Mac 	2020
1049.89 	LIVEWithIt 	2020
1014.40 	The Guilloteam 	2023
991.57 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2021
975.59 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2019
906.48 	Al Snows Fav Squad 	2023
806.27 	Mixon It Up With Mahomie 	2022
768.10 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2021
717.82 	Out of Luck 	2019
713.12 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	2020
708.44 	The Executioner 	2022
652.79 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	2023
544.55 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2021
489.42 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2022
481.22 	@FFDraftScott 	2019
459.96 	Bobecue Chicken 	2020
421.33 	Bobecue Chicken 	2023
324.28 	Bobecue Chicken 	2022
321.35 	Out of Luck 	2023
294.62 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2021
286.36 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2019
262.69 	Bad Boys 	2020
123.21 	CoachKnows 	2022
115.16 	Mixon Beer 	2019
97.49 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2023
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2020
==All-Time Combined Points Scored==
Same as above: eliminated teams will have their 2023 season added to the total. Bolded lines indicate that the record has been updated through 2023.
The game is on. Can anyone touch 11,795 points in 2023? Odds are no, but Tee Diggs at least has an outside chance, if they managed another championship appearance.
All-Time Combined Points Records
Score 	Player 	Years Played	Per Season Avg.
11,795.25	deCaPitated 	5 	2,359.05
9439.24 	The Guilloteam 	5 	1,887.85
8832.65 	Out of Luck 	5 	1766.53
8626.98 	Tee Diggs my Chubb 	4 	
8075.70 	Al Snows Fav Squad 	5 	1,615.14
7879.51 	Never Done This Before 	4 	
7594.94 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	4 	
7201.35 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	5 	1440.27
6987.92 	Monty's Python 	4 	
6665.96 	burrow for sure-oh (defunct) 	3 	2221.98
6439.42 	Bad Boys 	4 	
6196.22 	Bobecue Chicken 	5 	1,239.24
6076.59 	Extra Tight Ends 	4 	
6,003.97 	What Hurts Moore? 	4 	1,500.99
5824.98 	Henry VIII 	4 	
5186.35 	Neck-Fix and Chill (defunct) 	3 	1728.78
4365.12 	Müller Lite 	2 	
3711.72 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	4 	927.93
1885.08 	Shotti's Bugatti (defunct) 	2 	942.54
1238.56 	Bluedevils (defunct) 	1 	1238.56
698.91 	Phillip's Team (defunct) 	1 	698.91
391.19 	Steve Blackman's Nun (defunct)	2 	195.60
==Remaining Budget==
Remaining Budget as of 10/31/23
Player 	Total Budget
Müller Lite 	$748
Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$594
Henry VIII 	$506
Monty's Python 	$493
Bye Diggs my RIP for sure-oh	$362
Headless Horsemen 	$194
Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack	$121
Jeff Probst' Tribe 	$118
Extra Tight Ends 	$102
Never Done This Before 	$24
What Hurts Moore? 	0
deCaPitated 	0
The Guilloteam 	0
Al Snows Fav Squad 	0
Jethro's Glorious Team 	0
Bobecue Chicken 	0
Out of Luck 	0
Hasta Laviska Baby 	0
==Conclusion==
Happy Hunting!