A Dainty Dilemma

is a Quest in Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn.
==Journal==
* Jacke has assigned you your first official task─a case concerning a plundered piece of imperial technology. Another rogue, a Lalafell by the name of Perimu Haurimu, is to assist you in your work. Speak with Perimu “Underfoot” Haurimu to begin your assignment.
* Before you start your task in earnest, Perimu wishes to impress upon you the importance of evasion for a lightly armored rogue. Head out to lower La Noscea and defeat three aureliae while focusing on avoiding attacks through the use of swift footwork.
* You have defeated the aureliae. Return to the Rogues' Guild and report to Perimu Haurimu.
* You make your report, and Perimu Haurimu appears satisfied with your skills of evasion. After explaining that the first step in your assignment is to locate the thugs who violated the code, Underfoot then suggests making use of the guild's widespread spy network. Head to the Drowning Wench and attempt to order a weak ale from I'tolwann, the Miqo'te server.
* You make your incredibly un-Lominsan-like order for weak ale, signalling to I'tolwann that you are a member of the Rogues' Guild in search of information. The Drowning Wench server then provides you with a description of your targets, otherwise known as the “Dainty Demolishers.” It seems the Demolishers are known for fencing their goods─mostly pieces of stolen Garlean machinery─to a group of goblins in middle La Noscea. Travel to Summerford, and join with Perimu Haurimu at his vantage point across the river from the beastmen's camp.
* After rendezvousing with Perimu, you learn that one of the beastmen is already in possession of the stolen goods. Defeat the goblin gambler, and retrieve the firing mechanism.
* You have slain the goblin gambler and secured the magitek device. Return to Perimu Haurimu at his vantage point and confirm that you have retrieved the correct gadget.
* Perimu Haurimu inspects the device and commends you on a job well done. Return to the Rogues' Guild and deliver the firing mechanism to Jacke.
* After delivering the device to Jacke, the “Dutiful Sisters” are suddenly paid a visit by the Dainty Demolishers. It seems the trio of dandified thugs had trailed you back to the guild with the intent of demanding restitution for your recent act of larceny. The rogues make short work of the intruders, but not before the Demolishers' leader reveals a curious fact about the guild's past. Speak with Jacke to conclude your assignment and learn more about the history of the rogues.
* Though reluctant to dwell on past events, Jacke nevertheless explains to you the origin of the Rogues' Guild. No matter how its name changes, the guildmaster insists that the guild's task of upholding the code ever remains the same. Return to your training and prepare for your next assignment.※The next rogue quest will be available from Jacke upon reaching level 10.
==Objectives==
* Speak with Perimu Haurimu.
* Slay aureliae.
* Report to Perimu Haurimu at the Rogues' Guild.
* Speak with I'tolwann at the Drowning Wench.
* Speak with Perimu Haurimu in Summerford.
* Steal the firing mechanism #43 from a goblin gambler.
* Present the firing mechanism #43 to Perimu Haurimu.
* Deliver the firing mechanism #43 to Jacke at the Rogues' Guild.
* Speak with Jacke.
==Script==
script 	script
 	
Jacke 	Ho there, [Player Name]. I must say, yer lookin' comfortable enough with those stabbers o' yers.
Jacke 	Aye, I reckon yer good an' ready for yer first assignment.
Jacke 	...Ordinarily I'd stow me whids an' let ye get on with yer work, but seein' as we only just dragged ye into the shadows, there might be a couple things what ye ain't yet familiar with.
Jacke 	Let's build on what ye likely do know. An' that's the fact that the Admiral─gods bless her soul─has outlawed piracy in Limsa Lominsa.
Jacke 	So, why do ye think there're still so many soddin' pirates in this town? I'll tell ye why: it's 'cause there's still one way for 'em to loot an' pillage without incurrin' the wrath o' the law.
Jacke 	All ye need do is apply to serve the thalassocracy as a “certified privateer.” A captain with a privateer's license is free to terrorize the seas till the aldgoats come home...so long as he only targets vessels what belong to the Garlean Empire.
Jacke 	'Course, considerin' how bloody vast the Empire is, that's plenty o' lootin' to go around.
Jacke 	Crews fill their holds with imperial plunder, then sail back here to Limsa to off-load the spoils. ...An' that's where this particular case went sour.
Jacke 	See, this one crew got their fambles on a magitek device─a firin' mechanism to be precise─but was rooked out o' their haul by some heavy-handed coves.
Jacke 	If ye'll recall, that don't sit well with the code. If yer bold enough to rook a pirate out o' his due, then ye'd best be prepared for a visit from the rogues.
Jacke 	Ah, an' speakin' o' visitin' rogues... Underfoot! Over here, lad!
Jacke 	I want the pair o' ye workin' together on this. Pass sentence on them code-defyin' rooks, and bite back that magitek part.
Perimu Haurimu 	Eh!? What's the lass/colt need me for!?
Jacke 	Yer in charge o' new recruits, ain't ye? It's [Player Name]'s first assignment─yer to go along an' give her/him the benefit o' yer wisdom.
Perimu Haurimu 	Since when was I in charge o' new─ Ah, bugger it...
Perimu Haurimu 	Er... So I guess we're to be partners for the now. The name's Perimu Haurimu, but most o' me fellows call me “Underfoot.”
Jacke 	He might seem a touch reluctant, but Perimu's one of our best. You just do as he says, an' ye'll get the job done.
 	
Perimu Haurimu 	All right, then, me young rogue. Seein' as this is yer first official outin', I want to be sure yer dance steps are up to the task.
Perimu Haurimu 	With them shortblades, ye need to get in good an' close to yer mark, aye? But we ain't bleedin' swads in shinin' armor, an' the lighter kit we wear ain't much protection from a click to the gan.
Perimu Haurimu 	So if ye don't fancy spittin' blood an' teeth, yer best defense is simply not bein' there when yer mark winds up to land a nasty clout.
Perimu Haurimu 	Slidin' 'round to a flank usually does the trick, but there's some rum fun every rogue should master: the shade shift. Clear yer mind an' trust in yer speed, an' ye can leave an axe-wieldin' brute chasin' yer shadow while ye bury yer stabbers in his guts.
Perimu Haurimu 	Right, now it's time ye put this lesson into practice against some o' those aureliae out in lower La Noscea. I hope ye was payin' attention, lass/lad, 'cause those tentacles can pack a wallop. Enjoy!
 	
Perimu Haurimu 	Head out into lower La Noscea an' pick a fight with a few o' them aureliae. Remember: the point o' this exercise is to practice yer evasion, so don't come back to me with welts all over yer face!
 	
Perimu Haurimu 	Done with yer practice, then? Heh heh, the sting o' them tentacled buggers'll soon teach ye to stay on yer toes, eh?
Perimu Haurimu 	Ahem. Now we've got yer blood rushin', I'd say it's time to get down to work.
Perimu Haurimu 	First things first, we need to track down them addled coves what rooked that magitek gadget.
Perimu Haurimu 	Might be as one of our rogues has heard somethin'. The guild thrives on information, ye see, an' we've agents scattered far an' wide with their glazes keen an' their wattles to the ground.
Perimu Haurimu 	Let's pay us a visit to I'tolwann at the Drownin' Wench. Ask her for a weak ale, an' see what that gets ye.
Perimu Haurimu 	I'm not settin' ye up for a laugh, lass/lad. Trust me!
 	
Perimu Haurimu 	Order yerself a weak ale. It'll all make sense in a bit.
 	
I'tolwann 	Welcome to the Drowning Wench! What's your pleasure, miss/sir?
 	
I'tolwann 	Certainly, miss/sir. Take a seat, and I'll bring it straight to your─ Hm? Changed your mind?
 	
I'tolwann 	Never in all my days! We may serve some cheap grog in the Wench, but naught that was watered down.
I'tolwann 	If our usual ale is too bold for your taste, mayhaps you'd like to order from the underground menu?
I'tolwann 	Aye, there's quite a lot on offer for a customer with your roguish charms. Was there something in particular I could help you with?
I'tolwann 	...Ah, the trouble over that magitek loot? 'Twas not a subtle job.
I'tolwann 	The gang in question is an unusual group of former pirates calling themselves the “Dainty Demolishers.” They seem to be enamored of court dandy mannerisms, and have a preference for seizing Garlean machinery.
I'tolwann 	They're also known for conspiring with goblins. Rumors say that the Demolishers visit a beastman camp in middle La Noscea to fence their goods.
I'tolwann 	And those goods generally take the form of imperial technology─I imagine the goblins were rather pleased to take possession of a Mark XLIII anti-aircraft cannon firing mechanism.
I'tolwann 	If you mean to steal the device back, then your trail leads to the goblin camp in Summerford.
Perimu Haurimu 	Summerford, eh? On yer way, lass/lad. Meet me across the river from the camp an' we'll plan our next move...
 	
I'tolwann 	That twice-stolen magitek device is likely at the goblin camp in Summerford. I'd be quick if I were you─it won't be long before those curious beastmen begin taking it to pieces.
 	
Perimu Haurimu 	Get yer noggin down, [Player Name]. I've been snilchin' the action across the way there.
Perimu Haurimu 	No sign o' the Demolishers, but I did see one o' them gambler coves stuffin' the Garlean gadget into his backpack.
Perimu Haurimu 	I knew I'tolwann would steer us aright. This is yer chance, lass/lad─clout that gambler gobbie an' grabble that device!
Perimu Haurimu 	Er... I've lost track o' which gob it was, but I'm thinkin' it's that sod on the left. Just make sure ye dance away from any bomb blasts─twistin' an' dodgin' in the middle of a fireball ain't exactly effective.
 	
Perimu Haurimu 	Go on, then─that gambler ain't gonna wait all day. Show ol' Underfoot how ye've learned yer lessons!
 	
Perimu Haurimu 	That's the way, lass/lad. There was naught for me to do but sit on me daddles an' watch! ...So, ye've got the goods, then?
Perimu Haurimu 	Aye, this is the device, an' no mistakin'.
Perimu Haurimu 	Let's get it back to the guild, eh? We still owe them Demolisher bastards a millin', but they'll keep for the now.
Perimu Haurimu 	Here, you should be the one to deliver the prize to Jacke. It was yer hand what snatched it outta the goblins' paws, after all.
Kobuna00110 	Captain! Captain, I say! Some fiend has perpetrated violence upon our goblin colleagues whilst we sought but to wet our throats with fine libations!
Kobunb00110 	This will not stand, Captain! Our finely filched loot has been pilfered from under our noses!
Oyabun00110 	Blast and bother! My blood boils and bubbles at the temerity of this affront!
Oyabun00110 	I know not the identity of these audacious buffoons, but they shall be made to pay and pay dearly! With me, my fine fellows!
Dainty Demolisher Deckhands	Huzzah!
 	
Perimu Haurimu 	Hand that magitek gadget directly to Jacke─I ain't about to take credit for yer fieldwork!
 	
Jacke 	Ye manage to grabble that firin' mechanism yet, [Player Name]?
 	
Jacke 	Ah, still in one piece, too!
Jacke 	Ye've done well for yer first assignment, lass/lad. It don't look like much, but that crew put their lives on the line to cloy this here bauble. They'll be pleased to see it snatched back from the ruffmans.
Perimu Haurimu 	We've yet to do for the Dainty Demolishers, Jacke... The job ain't over.
Jacke 	Yer right, Underfoot. It ain't. Ye break the code, ye face the consequences.
Oyabun00110 	Oho! This is not at all what I expected from the inside of a convent!
Perimu Haurimu 	...An' who might you be, sirs?
Oyabun00110 	Hahaha! Your ignorance is understandable! After all, our schemes are always perfect─our heists, impeccable! Shall I reveal our infamous name and drink in your delicious terror?
Oyabun00110 	We are deadly, dastardly, and dictionally devilish! Quail before the Dainty Demolishers!
Kobuna00110 	Captain! Captain, I say! There's the louse/cad who misappropriated our merchandise!
Kobunb00110 	I concur! She/He is the selfsame simpleton whom we trailed unnoticed to this very establishment!
Dainty Demolisher Deckhands	Surprise, surprise!
Oyabun00110 	Now, now, my dear dandies. Let us not be unpleasant. We should endeavor to resolve this distastefulness without resorting to insults or other less...diplomatic methods. At least not yet.
Oyabun00110 	You there. Yes, the clean-cheeked errand boy. Be a good fellow, and fetch me your superior.
Oyabun00110 	One of your colleagues has committed a terrible crime against us. And we shall not be leaving until the proper restitution has been paid.
Jacke 	...Oho, an errand boy now, am I?
Jacke 	Tell me, Captain: just what kind o' place do ye think this is, then?
Oyabun00110 	Hm? This place? Why, I suppose it is some manner of convent. The one-eyed doorman named it the “Dutiful Sisters of the Edelweiss,” or some such...
Jacke 	An ye've yet to realize yer mistake? Yer fate was sealed the moment ye dragged yer sorry quarron across the threshold.
Oyabun00110 	...Are you threatening me, boy!? I'll have my fellows cut out that impudent tongue!
Oyabun00110 	We've exhausted our reserves of “dainty” today, lads! Show these fraudulent “Sisters” how the Demolishers deal with upstarts!
V'kebbe 	Ye still don't understand, do ye?
V'kebbe 	There are but three sorts o' culls what the doorman'll let pass: clients, recruits─
Kobunb00110 	Gods spit!
Kobunb00110 	I'll kill you all!
Perimu Haurimu 	Didn't yer mum teach ye not to interrupt a lady when she's talkin'?
Perimu Haurimu 	Ye'd have learned that the third sort o' cull is a bollocks-for-brains mark what marches himself right into the rogues' den.
Oyabun00110 	R-Rogues!? B-But...we were so careful!
Oyabun00110 	I'd heard tales in my pirate days─stories about the merciless wraiths who uphold the code. They weren't called rogues back then, though...
Oyabun00110 	The “Upright Thieves,” they were! The knives in the shadows!
Oyabun00110 	Y-You can't be them... You're just trying to scare me! Well, the captain of the Dainty Demolishers is not so easily cowed!
Oyabun00110 	To the hells with your deceptions! Huzzah! Huzzah for my fallen comrades!
Jacke 	Deceptions? Aye. Anyone ye meet could be a rogue, Captain─even a clean-cheeked errand boy.
Jacke 	He's still breathin'. Find some rope an' string him up someplace in town.
Jacke 	An' now the job's done. Quite an introduction ye had there, eh?
Jacke 	Welcome to Limsa Lominsa's ever-churnin' underbelly, where the thieves shed their skins an' became rogues.
 	
Jacke 	I'm not much for discussin' the old days, but since it's come up I might as well clear up the confusion.
Jacke 	It was back when piracy was at its peak. The coves what protected the code were dimber dambers─the best lads an' lasses to be had from among the pirate crews.
Jacke 	They bit back the goods what was wrongly bitten, an' came for the guilty under cover of darkmans. “Upright Thief” became the title for these coves what dealt in sanctioned stealin' an' millin'.
Jacke 	But it was only those as had cut all ties with the buccaneer's life what was accepted into the ranks. Conflictin' loyalties, an' all that.
Jacke 	They formed their own guild an' even their own way o' speakin', an' what was once pirates was pirates no more.
Jacke 	Later on, when Merlwyb took the Admiral's chair, the Upright Thieves agreed to abide by her laws.
Jacke 	We became the “Rogues' Guild” to mark the change, an' altered our recruitin' policy to accept 'venturers like yerself. But although the title is different, the job remains the same: uphold the code, an' preserve the underground society what spawned us.
Jacke 	...Just as ye've done with this assignment. Keep up the good work, [Player Name], an' ye'll go far in the shadows!
Quest complete. 	Quest complete.
Category:Disciple of War Quests in Final Fantasy XIV