The Guild

=== Welcome! ===
It’s Later Than You Think
=== The Name ===
Well, let’s see… when The Guild was first created on Rushu back in Autumn of 2006 we thought long on this and looked at most of the existing guild names. There were some that were cute, some noble, some creative, and some that were just plain stupid for a variety of reasons. In the end we applied the principle of Occam’s Razor, and when we cut away all of the unnecessary stuff we were left with the crushingly obvious… hence the name. It is understated, yet complete; it is the alpha and the omega. It is the only one, and when people talk about “The Guild”, there is no mistaking whereof of what they speak. 5 years later we see that little has changed and we still prefer our name. 
.
=== Why ===
Well, that’s easy, because we could. Besides, what other reason do you need for forming an organization started from a hardened, undigested or unidentifiable mass ripped from the carcass of a freshly killed critter? We also wanted to be unlike every other guild in Dofus and even as much as we recognize the ridiculousness of such a notion and are not sure how we are going to pull that off, we think BIG. Our record stands however in attracting some of the most unique denizens of Dofus, so if you are out there, we are always looking. We also know that being the fallible creatures we are, we are likely to embarrass ourselves, get caught in the act, and have somebody around to remind us for the rest of our days, or to post screenshots or other evidence. That should make for an enjoyable time.
===Who===
You. We are a friendly bunch and if you are decent, you are welcome. Of course that does not mean we have to keep everyone, due to the fact there are some bad apples out there (f*cktards in the modern parlance). Once we find the worm-ridden specimens, if we can’t de-worm them, we’ll set them free on the world again since we can’t exterminate the vermin.
===Who Part II===
Both P2P and F2P are welcome to join, though if space in the guild becomes a problem an active P2P player gets precedence as that is only fair. When you pay to play, more of the game, and therefore interaction with the rest of the guild is possible.
There are no minimum level requirements to join. After all, a Level 130 character who’s a jerk, is just a Level 130 Jerk. Granted that jerk can kill a lot of the Dofus population, but that doesn't mean we want them in The Guild.
It is expected that experienced players will help lower levels and new players (Noobs in the local parlance) when they can. On the flip side we ask that new members, especially lower levels, be patient, not BEG for handouts, and realize that we all started at the bottom. Excessive begging or asking others to do all your research and/or legwork will likely earn you the privilege of being released back into the wild... hey it’s called work, it’s good for you, and it shows character when you contribute something towards your own cause, and keep in mind it's your cause not everybody else’s...
===What===
It’s a game; enjoy it.
===When===
We are here when we are here, If you need constant attention or interaction with others, then seek help since trying to get that in a game exclusively is sad and weird (though increasingly common these days). We are fun to be around but we do not exist just for this, or any other game. Go out and do stuff, the world out there exists for your enjoyment, and can also be used for in game fodder!
==Rank==
There are many ranks (we lost count and in fact don’t care to count them anymore) and they seem to change regularly with the updates. Some of them are a mystery to us and we have no clue what they are supposed to mean. It appears there are too many to be truly useful or awarded/assigned to every guild member. Promotion is an earned privilege, not a right, and it is not automatic. 
So, what does this mean? While we acknowledge the Scientific Method of Management (and declare it crap) and the notion that people like to know what is expected of them to earn promotion, we reject that notion in an online game. We know people have witnessed co-workers being promoted because of favoritism (their noses are so brown and their lips stink so much due to the persistent ass-kissing that no amount of washing up will remove the stench), or because they were “next in line,” (you know these people, they hang-on forever on workplace life support doing the minimum to not get fired just to earn a promotion for some extra coin), or because they did “their time” (even when they had no skill or talent and smelled bad), or because they met some quota (which means that a-holes can game the system and get promoted because of output, not because they are people you want to work with or for), or for any of the other reasons people get promoted. We accept that we too can be capricious (but we are fun to be around) however, the general rule is, contribute and get the rewards (unless you are an a-hole); it’s that simple.
There are a few reserved ranks (power does have its privilege, as well as it its responsibilities, therefore the following ranks are the only ranks to be handled with even more capriciousness than usual. If you earn one of these ranks, the masses will adore you and it will be well earned.
=== Reserved Ranks ===
* Leader
* Second In Command
* Protector
* Governor
* Chosen One
These ranks, as their name implies, are reserved for a few. There can be only one Leader. Loyal followers of The Guild's Mistress may be bestowed these ranks to serve Her Worshipfulness more appropriately as befits their history and talents.
===The Rest of the Ranks===
Other ranks enhance guild operations through various efforts. Awarding of these ranks will be on a case by case basis. Make you case, stake your claim, or forge your destiny, in any case we will entertain all petitions for promotion. Occasionally we can be bribed, though that is not a guarantee since you have to still prove yourself.
===Rank Descriptions===
After tinkering with exp and rank requirements for over a year, we changed our approach on this. There are no minimum xp requirements per se and no level requirements for any rank. The recommended donation is 3%, but it's your choice. However, as a display of our commitment to all Guildies, you give to us and we reward you. If you want to just hang out and keep all your exp, that's cool, but rights/ranks will be set accordingly. If a situation arises where we need room, longtime loafers who have contributed nothing will be considered for reassignment to the wild in order to free up space. The guild needs exp to grow; it is the only way it does grow. Please donate to the cause, or if that sounds too soft... suck it up and give to The Guild! So quit being selfish and stop your whining about having to donate a small % of xp to The Guild. Just put it down to a shared experienced. If you are as great as you think you are, then it will be a breeze.
===Leader===
This is the only rank worth commenting on, so read on…
“O Exalted One, I prostrate myself before thee and offer my life that it may glorify your name!” This is the proper salutation whenever greeting FireFlower or Incendiana as she is now known . She does not suffer gladly fools, the vain, the insincere, stupid people, the lazy, or the weak. Adore her, for she is worthy. Oh, and beware should you enter combat with her, she has been known to summon things just for the pleasure of killing them, and she considers everyone a summoned creature…
FireFlower has several Titles associated with her that offer further proof of her magnificence. Amongst them are: The Mistress of Pain, The Infernal Walking Salad and the recently acquired: Salad Cake!. There are more but these are the most well known…
If the leader steps down, aside, leaves, etc…, there will be anarchy, pulling of hair, gnashing of teeth, and all manner of mourning. In the event this does happen, after the obligatory celebrations, whoever is left amongst the Second In Command and Protectors of the guild will select the next leader based on a simple majority vote or a death match. Choose well…
==Collectors==
If you have the rights, place them. That does not mean however the rest of The Guild has to defend them. They are costly to maintain and need adequate strength/power/people to defend them. Therefore it is a decision not to be taken lightly.
One aspect to consider about the Percs (collectors) is the fact there are several powerful guilds out there who have enjoyed their positions for so long they have become selfish, stingy, and are just plain assholes when it comes to Percs other than their own or that of the strong guilds. The idea being is that if you aren’t one of the select few, then you don’t deserve a Perc and it will be attacked mercilessly. Afterwards you may be subjected to verbal abuse from an elitist pinhead. Of course it is amongst these groups you will also find the dweebs who absolutely love the idea of Percs and don't want to see anything changed and will scream the loudest at any hint of change or will call you names if you state that you don't like the forced thievery. Imagine going to work and getting paid at the end of the day and this guy steps in and takes a wad of cash from you just because he was standing there. That’s how a perc operates. The best way to handle this is to build up yourself and The Guild; in fact that is likely the only way if you wish to have your Perc survive for more than 5 minutes...
==Guild House==
We have no Guild House at present and are reduced to gathering in an obscure tavern smelling of sweat, vomit, and urine, which describes most taverns in Dofus. We are working on securing a crash pad for all Guildies who frequent these taverns but need a place to crash without fear of being abused or robbed while they are comatose. .
==Paddocks==
Nothing yet, but we will get one, and we know how to breed mounts… We have secret method that makes mounts breed like rabbits and is entertaining to watch.
==Spotlight (Hall of Fame/Shame)==
=== Seedless ===
Seedless – or Seed as he is often called, is a very well known and well traveled member of The Guild. He is a level 14x Iop who's so good he'll make you want to scream. He is also as dedicated to the accomplishments of making money as his craft of critter bashing. His patience is legendary (it has to be to run with the characters of this guild) and he usually advises calm and reason... before lopping off heads. Almost always accompanied by Dr-Freakylove (words are inadequate to explain The Dr. You just have to "experience" him).
Seed's comment's on fellow guild members:
:FireFlower - Words cannot ever do her justice. Our ever compassionate, wonderful leader never fails to inspire me.
:Vilmare - Cranky old Enu. Enough said.
:Toki - A wonderful, helpful guildie, if we had 40 more of her we would be the best guild ever.
:Hydi - I just sit on the sidelines in awe of this unstoppable force of Dofus might. If we had 10 more Hydis we would own all of Dofus.
:missEleventh - Our resident artist, the author of all our art here. Please give me color! someday? please!
:Dr Freakylove - Please someone find his pants! And while your at it find the rest of his clothes. Geez it's embarrassing enough to be seen with him, but so much of him at once? come on give me a break.
:Pwanto - Its hard to find the words to describe him. "Wow!" seems to be appropriate.
===Vilmare===
Vilmare: the crankiest Enutrof in all of Dofus. Often found in spirited dialogue with FireFlower, at least until he falls asleep or decides to grudgingly accept the authority of FireFlower and shut the hell up. He's old (rumors about him being as old as dirt have proved false as he is the actual inventor of the recipe for dirt which he subsequently traded away for some whisky). Being an old fart he is prone to making obscure references (that only Bananaflip seems to understand and vice versa), memory lapses, occasional deafness, and falling asleep at a moments notice. Vil also has the honor (dubious???) of having to handle FireFlower in RL, and she is quite the handful...
===BananaFlip===
BananaFlip: perhaps the wittiest Enutrof in all of Dofus. When not up to to less than savory activities he is often engaged in things best not mentioned here. He was found slumming in the depths of the Gobbal Dungeon and for reasons unknown decided to take up residence in The Guild. For that we are grateful (we think) if only because there is rarely a dull moment or lack of lively banter when Nanners is around. Strangely he does not suffer from the affliction of "random flying shovels to the head" witnessed of Vil.
===Hydi===
Hydi is a leveling and profession cranking machine. There are rumors that Hydi is actually composed of 4 or 5 people since it's seems the only rational way to explain the amount of activity. Quiet and calculating, and of exceptional fighting ability. One of the easiest-going and laid back characters you are likely to meet on Dofus. Hydi joined us after an encounter in the Cemetary Dungeon (you meet all manner of interesting people in dungeons) and after a few days of nagging, gave in and joined The Guild if only to shut us up.
===Dr Freakylove===
Dr Freakylove: AKA; Dr Freaky, AKA; The Dr, AKA; Freak. (anytime someone has "AKA" following their name.... you KNOW there's trouble). Formally The Guild's highest level Eni, having had that honor displaced by Pwanto. He claims to have a Doctorate degree from the Freakylove University (FU), but he may have just made that up. As mentioned above, often found in the company of Seedless (despite Seed's efforts to lose him). Clothed in Lavender colors, but do not mistake him for a female (although you won't hurt his feelings by doing so) as he has a strong affinity for women, any woman, or anything that he could at any time mistake for a woman or practically anything that moves, and if it doesn't that's a bonus. He also loves making innuendos of anything he can. Don't be left alone in a room with him and under no circumstances should you let him use his handcuffs on you..... Until further notice all potential guild members are required to spend 15 minutes alone with Dr. Freakylove, those that survive may then join..... if they still want to.
===Tokiryu===
Toki! The way The Guild's top Xelor (self-proclaimed) tends to end her sentences with various smileys might make some people feel uneasy, but if you spend any time around her, you will find her very friendly and eager to help, be it running dungeons or assisting the Dofus population in general. Despite her assertions of making "mistakes" in combat (like, “I’m sorry I just killed those 4 critters at once”) she possesses excellent strategic and tactical skills in combat and has the gift of making jokes in less than optimal situations. She can often be found leading a mob of Guildies through the Blop Dungeon, usually in the company of Mononoke-hime (another of the Walking Salad class, but far more calm and sedate than our Guild Leader), lending them Hands, spreading Temporal Dust, and having a brambling good time. 
Always converses with French-speaking people in either Polish or Japanese, saying that if someone assumes she speaks a stupid language, so can she.
=== missEleventh ===
missEleventh. If Vilmare is the heart of The Guild (HA HA, the heart, had you going for a second didn't we...), then missEleventh is the artistic soul of The Guild. The whole world of Dofus is a big canvas for this 14x Iopette, on which she practices her art (while also throwing paint brushes at the Dr). Kind and warm towards guildmates and friendly players, when confronted with hostile monsters or characters, she unleashes her genius skills that leave even the most art-blind, stricken with awe. Using the hard edges often found in abstract art, in flowing, expressionist movements, she applies the fundamental rules of cubism (where objects are broken up, analyzed, and re-assembled in an abstracted form) to create stunning still life art. Her opponents just end up in still, cubed pieces... very still indeed.
=== Pwanto ===
A fine figure of Eni-hood, this Eni has quickly become known to us as a great companion to have in any fray we may stray into. Before we even got over the shock that such high-level person wants to join us and actually stay, he single-handedly repelled an attack on one of our percs, which up until then have been usually dying in pains. Ever since then he has been known to strike fear into the hearts of many that would challenge the fine city of Brakmar and those who would attack our poor beleaguered perceptors, vanquishing them with all his might. (Poor Dr-Freakylove was not happy at not being the highest-level Eni in our guild anymore, but... this is what you get if you just run around without your pants instead of working on yourself.)
==Errata==
Please keep in mind that Dofus, the internet, and especially text based communication are not perfect mediums. What does this mean? 1) Context is sometimes next to impossible to discern. 2) What you think is funny in your head, may be just that (in your head). 3) Learn to take a joke. 4) Think twice before you post that comment. 5) Think twice before you post a reply to that comment. 6) Be Patient. 7) If in a group battle with other guildies, and say your Second in Command hits you with a shovel to the head, it is bad eye-sight, tease mercilessly but relax. 8) If you don’t receive an immediate response to your witty remarks, queries, comments, or whatever, DO NOT under any circumstance have a flippin cow! Maintain your composure, stay calm, and things will work out just fine.
That’s it, enjoy, don’t be a jerk, and hopefully we’ll see you around. If interested in joining, contact FireFlower, Vilmare, Seedless, FarmerFreak, BananaFlip, Hydi, Tokiryu, or you can visit our thread in the Guilds Forum.
The url is http://forum.dofus.com/en/rushu-f1022/%5Bguild%5D-the-guild-t89814.html (old thread, will update soon)
It’s Later Than You Think
== Leaving "The Guild" ==
Occasionally we have to let someone go (i.e. Ban) from "The Guild". The reasons for this fall into two categories generally but they are not the only reasons. First, the character was inactive for too long; see above for general guidelines regarding this. Second, the character was too disruptive, begging or acting in some other unsociable behavior. Consider this before acting in such manner in "The Guild's" chat. We like our guild chat to be a space where our members connect, hang out, make with the funny comments, and ask for the occasional help.
=== Just one more example of random things that can happen in Dofus===