Saturdays of Thunder/Quotes

:Bart: Dad, I don't know how to say this. I don't want to drive your car. It's slow, it's ugly; it handles like a shopping cart.
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:Martin: What is the matter with you?
:Bart: It's my dad. Lying there on the couch, drinking a beer, staring at the TV... I've never seen him like that.
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:Bart: Oh, I don't know if I should do that. My dad and I build our car together, and if I drove somebody else's it'd kill him! On the other hand, I'll do it!
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:Homer: Thank you, Bill Cosby. You've saved The Simpsons!
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:Homer: What's the quickest, cheapest, easiest way to do something with you?
:Lisa: Uh, take us to the video store?
:Homer: Anything for my little girl.
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:Nelson: Hey, Simpson, where's your loser-mobile?
:Homer: Loser mobile... hehehe... wait a minute!
:Bart: Uh, It's over there Nelson.
:Nelson: Whoa, talk about your pieces of crap!
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:Homer: I'm a bad father!
:Selma: You're also fat.
:Homer: I'm also fat!
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:Homer calls Fatherhood Institute
:Homer: I got 0 on your quiz.
:Director: A zero?! Please hold.
:Director puts Homer on hold and talks to his secretary
:Director: Cancel my 1:00!
:Simpson residence. Men abduct Homer, who takes it in stride
:Homer: Goodbye, son!
:Milhouse: Hey, Bart, I think they're finally hauling your dad away!
:Bart: Maybe it's for the best.
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:Director: For starters, Mr. Simpson, take this copy of Fatherhood by Bill Cosby.
:Homer: If he's as smart as he is funny, I'm sold!
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:Marge: Question one: "Name one of your child's friends."
:Homer: Uh, let's see, Bart's friends... well, there's the fat kid with the thing, uh, the little wiener who's always got his hands in his pockets.
:Marge: They want a name, Homer, not a vague description.
:Homer: Okay...Hank?
:Marge: Hank? "Hank" who?
:Homer: Hank...Jones.
:Marge: Homer, you made that up! Question two: "Who is your son's hero?"
:Homer: Steve McQueen.
:Marge: That's your hero! "Name another dad you talk to about parenting."
:Homer: Next!
:Marge: "What are your son's hobbies?"
:Homer: Well, he's always chewing on the phone cord.
:Marge: He hasn't done that since he was two!
:Homer: Then he has no hobbies!
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:Homer: Wow, I'm one question away from being a perfect father! "Name another dad you talk to about parenting."
:Ned Flanders: Ohh! - Hey-hey-ho, Simpson.
:Homer: Shut up, Flanders. Flanders! Flanders! Flanders. Uh... Uh... When should a boy start dating?
:Ned Flanders: There are two schools of thought on the subject-
:Homer: Great! Thanks! (rushes away) I talked to Flanders about parenting! I'm a perfect father!
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:Referee: Whoa. Where's your helmet?
:Bart: Helmets are for wusses, sir.
:Referee: I can't let you go without a helmet.
:Homer: He's my son, and if he doesn't wanna wear one, you can't make him!
:Referee: Okay, fine. I wanna get out of here sometime today.
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:Martin: Deploy, damn you, DEPLOY!
:(The rocket car crashes into the barrier, as a fire truck rushes over to extinguish the vehicle)
:Martin: (runs around on fire) GAAHHHHH!
Category:Episode Quotes