A Star's Burden (Story)

A Star's Burden is a quick one-shot written in August 2021, exploring the relationship between Astra and Sclera to try to better understand their dynamic and friendship.
==Summary==
Astra begins to have some concerns about his future and how different things will be now that Sclera is a part of him. As such, his guardian angel tries to comfort him and ease his worries, realizing she too has some doubts of her own.
==A Star's Burden==
The Sun had long since set, and as the blue moon illuminated the violet leaves of the trees in the Periwinkle Woods, another day was coming to an end. And as night was setting in a nearby village, a young Drimare made his way into his bedroom, with his ears low and a dejected expression on his face.
For Astra, it had been yet another regular day of magic school and hanging out with his friends. But despite everything, today he just felt off, he was quieter and mostly just kept to himself, being significantly more reserved than what was usual for him.
Astra's friends did know he usually wasn't the type to be all happy-go-lucky and smiling all the time, and it seemed like that had helped him with masking his saddened mood today. Well... It was either that or it was simply that no one had bothered to ask if he was doing okay.
It’s not like he'd tell anyone about his thoughts, he was just too proud and stubborn to let something like that show through, but the concern of others was still reassuring in some regard, and yet, no one had said anything. He furrowed his brow at this thought. No... That wasn't exactly correct and he knew it.
In fact, there was someone who took notice of his shift in demeanour, someone who made sure to ask if he was alright, someone who could always tell when he was down without ever having to look at him. But Astra still pushed her away, or at least, he tried to do, metaphorically speaking.
There wasn't much that Astra could do about Sclera's permanent presence in his mind, she could always tell within an instant if something was off with him. But when Astra lashed out at her about how he didn't want to talk, the demon had become uncharacteristically quiet for the rest of that day. Was she upset?
He couldn't help but feel guilt over this, after all, she was partly to blame for why he felt this upset, but he just didn't want to talk to her. It wasn't actually her fault nor had she done anything to trigger a tantrum out of him, but he just couldn’t help himself.
As he went to bed, cuddling a stuffed animal under the starry sheets, he could feel her again. She was always there, but there was often a different energy when he could tell that she was preparing to say something. As such, he buried his face in the starry bear plushie before she could say anything.
"...Are you feeling better, little star?" He could hear her in his mind, her voice was ghostly yet gentle. But he kept hiding his face, shaking his head in response.
"No…" He grumbled as he could feel her silence again and lifted his face from the stuffed doll. He didn't want to be mad at her, and he wasn't, but…
"I'm here for you… You can tell me anything…"
"I said I don't wanna talk about it…" He pouted, feeling annoyed. As if his parents' consistent overprotectiveness ever since the incident wasn't smothering enough, Sclera's questions just seemed to add more to his ever-growing stress. Even if he admittedly trusted her more than his own family, he just wasn’t having any of it tonight,
The demon grew silent once again and Astra just gazed at the darkness in his room, unable to relax his thoughts and go to sleep.
Usually, Sclera would talk to him until he fell asleep, either by telling old stories of her life among the other Angels or by singing him ancient holy hymns in long-forgotten languages. Her stories and songs were often filled with strange long and boring words, which were ideal to fall asleep to, and Sclera often seemed delighted in this, never once resenting him for being unable to keep up with her.
But this time, his guardian angel remained silent.
Astra wondered if she knew why he was upset. She couldn't really read his thoughts unless he was directing them at her, now could she? Or was that something she told him so he wouldn't be worried about her reading his mind? He wasn't sure.
"Sclera…?" He quietly asked, noticing her presence coming back.
"Yes, Astra?" She responded promptly, her tone forever patient.
"Can I… ask you something...?"
"Always…"
He paused for a bit, unsure of how to put his thoughts into words. His mind had been rushing with these thoughts for so long, but lately, they had only gotten stronger and harder to ignore. But he could feel her waiting so he swallowed in dry before he spoke "...Sclera? What's going to happen when I grow up? Will you still be with me?" He asked, uncertain of which outcome he preferred. However, he took notice of her silence, as if she was thinking about what to respond.
"I do not have a way of knowing that... I'm sorry." She responded, a hint of sadness in her voice "Why do you wish to know that?"
"I…" He thought of what to respond but just felt overwhelmed by his guilt "N-Nevermind, just forget it..."
"I would not forsake you, my little star… you do know that, yes?"
"...Uhm…" He looked down a bit embarrassed "What does that word mean…? For...sake…"
"It means that I do not intend to abandon you..."
"Oh… Okay…" Astra rested his head on the stuffed animal "...I won't forsake you either, Sclera… I promise… You're my best friend…"
"Is this what has been bothering you…?" He heard her ask and shrugged in response. "That I will leave you…?"
"No…" He murmured, hugging his plush harder as the words struggled to leave his mouth "I… I'm worried that you… won't…" he whimpered, ashamed of the implications of his words. "I'm sorry…"
There was more silence from the demon, as Astra was overwhelmed by guilt for feeling the way he did. They were connected, that was their deal, she would amplify his powers, and in turn, he was her eye to the outside world. That was everything she wanted him to do, right? It's the least he could do.
"Astra… What are you worried about? I am not upset, you can tell me…" She asked softly, hiding the strain in her voice which he failed to notice.
"I'm just… I'm worried I'll slip up, and accidentally tell the others about you…! I don't want anyone else to try and hurt you again…" He mumbled sadly "But I also want to tell my friends eventually because you're also my friend and I really trust you…"
"Astra… You mustn't let anyone know… It's safer this way…" she paused "You know this, do you not?"
He nodded wordlessly, and there was silence once more as Astra's mind was filled with thoughts. "Forever is a long time…" he continued "Will I still have to keep you a secret when I'm old? Or when I get my own family…?"
"I cannot see into the future, little star…" She spoke, hoping it wouldn't have to come to that “But I know that there are others in this land who would not take it lightly were they to learn of me.”
"I know… I'm... s-sorry…" He whimpered as he began to tear up "I-I don't hate you, I just…"
"No, Astra… You can tell me…"
"I w-want to save you… So I c-can't think of those things…"
"You want to... save me?" Sclera quietly asked, uncertain of what he meant with this. She had never told him of her plans for escaping, and every day it only got harder to imagine the day she’d break it to him.
"Uhum…" He nodded "You're still trapped in that cave… If I could just… get you out… I could learn the magic to break your chains then you could leave… You’d be free and could go back home..." He spoke hopefully, but he could almost sense the way Sclera shook her head in response.
"Unfortunately only the Spades Suit is capable of breaking my chains. Such is the nature of this spell, as well as my curse.”
"Didn't you say the queen was… bad…? She blinded you and I can't ask her for help, but if there could be another way to get to her…" He spoke quietly.
"No. The Spades Suit cannot be reasoned with. It is not safe for you to meet with them..." Or not yet at least, Sclera thought.
"But if I tell her that she's hurting you, a-and that you won't do bad things if she lets you go, then maybe…!"
"Absolutely not." Her stern voice echoed in his mind as he quivered in response. "You do not understand what she's capable of, but I know that you will be in danger if she finds out. It is not safe, she will hurt you as a means to get to me and I will not allow that to happen."
As Sclera spoke, she took notice of the child's quivering with her words. She wasn't one to raise her voice at him, but if he decided to get the Spades Suit involved then she knew he wouldn't be spared. The Spade wasn’t exactly known for its forgiving nature.
"I-Is there no other way…?" He asked, looking sadly and Sclera grew silent.
There was. Killing the Spades Suit's vessel would temporarily weaken the chains, and with the right spell, Sclera could be freed. But she knew Astra wouldn't be receptive to this plan just yet… He just wasn't ready...
"You mustn't worry about these things…" her voice softened, wishing to comfort the little boy "You're very brave, but you're also too young to be thinking about such things…"
"But I have to worry… You're all alone in the dark… It's scary and I want to help…!" He spoke, despite the hopelessness in his voice, he still felt determined to do his best to help.
"Oh, but I am not alone, Astra…" Sclera spoke as the boy looked up in uncertainty "Nor am I in darkness…" she continued.
"What do you mean…?"
"You're with me, little star… Just as I am with you…"
Astra didn't respond, feeling embarrassed as he just hugged the bear plush once again. He couldn't really see or touch Sclera, but projecting the idea of her on the stuffed animal seemed to help him process his feelings.
"Will it ever be safe for me to tell others about you…?" He quietly asked.
"I don't know…"
"I… I get scared… I get scared that I'll accidentally tell my friends about you and they'll think I'm weird… or they'll be scared of me… or… of you…"
"They are wise to be afraid."
"But I don't want that! I used to be really scared of you but then you started talking more to me and I wasn't so scared anymore… Maybe others would feel the same..."
"You were right to be afraid of me, little star… I have done very bad things in the past..."
"But you're not bad now, that's what I mean… You talk to me, you teach me things, and you tell me your stories… Those are good things..."
Sclera remained silent for a moment until she finally spoke "...Is this how you perceive me?"
"Uhm… What's… "perceive"…?" He timidly asked, embarrassed to be interrupting her to explain words to him.
"Is this how you see me?"
"Oh! Uhm, yes… I think you're nice, that's why I want to help you… Because you're good and you’re my friend..."
The demon didn't respond, and as Astra awaited her response, he just let out a sigh, closing his eyes. She didn't say anything else for a while and Astra wondered if he had offended her somehow. Had he perceived her wrong?
"Sclera…?" He meekly asked after a while, breaking the silence.
"...Yes, Astra?" She seemed hesitant in her response but he hadn't noticed it.
"Did I say something wrong…?"
"What do you mean?"
"You asked how I saw you… And I told you and you… stopped responding…"
"You're fine. Do not worry about it…" She paused, "Should you not be getting some rest?"
He seemed to deflate a bit with this question "Yeah…"
"Are you having trouble falling asleep?"
"Uhum…" He nodded quietly, his head still filled with thoughts, fearing what his friends would think if they found out about his secret. "Could you sing for me again…? I'm sorry I was rude…"
"Of course, little star… Do not apologize, I did not think that of you... Are you feeling any better?"
"I dunno…” He looked down “I'm kind of scared…"
"I understand… Know that I will not let anyone hurt you…"
"Y-Yeah, me too! If the queen comes to hurt you again I'll… Uhm… I'll blast her with my magic!"
He heard her gentle laughter when he said this "Haha… My little star, you will need something stronger than that… But no, I will be fine, alright?" She saw him nodding "So promise me you will not worry about this…"
"H-Huh?! But… But Sclera!" He seemed exasperated "I can't promise that! I can't control when I'm worried… It just happens..."
"Oh... I see... Then at least promise me you will try not to worry as much… Can you do that for me?"
"Hm…" Furrowing his brow, Astra looked down for a bit as if deep in thought "...Yes…"
"Yes?"
"Uhum. Yes! I will try my best… w-which is always…!" He wanted to appear determined "...But it might still happen..."
"That is alright, you are free to express your feelings if you so desire…"
“I know… I’m sorry I said I wanted you to go away, I didn’t mean it like that…”
“It is fine. I understand that mortals aren’t as accustomed to sharing consciences with one another. Your discomfort with my presence is understandable, little star.”
“I don’t mind that! It’s just having to keep you a secret that really sucks…”
"I know… For now, it is what's safest for you… I do not know what the future holds in store…"
"It holds me saving you from those creepy caves! You'll see!"
"Of course, little star…" She smiled "Please get some rest…"
She heard him let out a yawn as he nuzzled in bed "Okay, I'll try… Goodnight, Sclera…"
"Goodnight, Astra…"
As the boy fell asleep, Sclera sighed to herself. For countless ages, she had been hatching a plan of escaping from the dreaded caves, planning her revenge on the Spades Suit and on all of Drimare kind. She always knew what she wanted to do, and when a naive child was handed to her on a silver platter, Sclera had no problem making him her vessel for her plans.
But as time went by, she began to lose faith in her plan. It wasn't that Astra wasn't capable, in fact, he was too capable, insanely powerful even, and even more when she took over him. But despite her attempts at distancing herself emotionally, she still ended up finding herself becoming attached to the young boy.
Sooner or later she knew he'd have to learn the truth of who she really was and what she truly wanted him to do. But as every day it grew closer, Sclera couldn't help but dread the future that awaited her little star. A future that she herself had written for him.
But of course, only time would tell if they'd ever go through with it.
Category:Library