Tango/transcript

Previous Episode: Pet the Rock and the Nerd
Next Episode: Necro-Tower HQ
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: February 24, 2024
Episode Copyrighted: 2024
This episode is rated TV-PG-DL.
The episode opens with an exterior shot of the Chum Bucket. Karen is smiling while sitting at a table while Plankton is in her cupcake, singing to her. A flame is sitting on top of Plankton's head.
Plankton: *sings* ♪Oh happy birthday on you. It's your birthday, it's true. *puts hands together* It's the day that I built you. Happy birthday on-♪
The flame engulfs him, making him jump up.
Plankton: *screams and runs around*
Karen Plankton: *sticks Plankton into my cupcake to extinguish the fire*
Plankton: *groans*
Karen Plankton: Oh, Sheldon. This has been the best birthday I've ever had. *picks up Plankton to kiss him, which electrocutes him*
Plankton: And it ain't over yet. It's time for the birthday girl to open her present. *does hand movements*
As he holds out an envelope*
Plankton: Ta-da!
Karen Plankton: *takes envelope and rips it apart* Oh? *laughs*
Plankton: *moves eyebrow* It's a gift certificate for tango lessons.
Karen Plankton: *disappointed* Oh, you know I'd love to dance with you, sweetie, but we've tried this before. And if you recall--
Flashback montage to Plankton in a disco outfit on a dance floor, dancing.
Plankton: Yeah? Oh, yeah? *gets stepped on*
Screen cuts to Plankton in a cowboy outfit on a saloon dance floor.
Plankton: Yee-haw! *gets stepped on by a cowboy boot*
Cut to Plankton blowing a whistle while wearing a zipper hat on a punk dance floor, where he gets stepped on by a black boot. End of montage.
Karen Plankton: It did not go well.
Plankton: *jumps and runs off* This time is gonna be different. *giggles*
As he grabs onto a giant white cloth.
Plankton: Because your other birthday present is *yanks away the cloth to reveal a giant wall with several gears on it* this. The Leg Yanker Five Zillion. *jumps on top of it and straps myself onto it, cries* This is for you, baby. *uses my teeth to pull a lever that activates the machine, which pulls my legs along the gears*
After the yanking is finished, he lets out a large scream and limps to the floor, then gets up to Karen's level with his newly long legs.
Karen Plankton: *makes a ":0" face* Ooh.
Plankton: Hmm, nice weather up here. *loses balance
Karen Plankton: *catches him*
As she smiles.
Plankton: Whoa.
Lord Master Lox, Steve Master Lox and Pearl Master Lox: *enters the Chum Bucket*
Lord Master Lox: Hey guys. I was carrying groceries with Pearl.
Karen Plankton: Hey Master Lox. This is Steve Master Lox.
Steve Master Lox: Sup.
Lord Master Lox: *to Steve* What are you doing? You're acting like a real robot.
Steve Master Lox: I am not a robot. Like I'd wanna be the brother of a skeleton?
Lord Master Lox: Why you?
Lord Master Lox and Steve Master Lox: *fights*
Karen Plankton: That is it! I do not want you two boys fighting!
Lord Master Lox and Steve Master Lox: Sorry Karen.
Karen Plankton: Now I was saving this for your next victory. But since that's not coming anytime soon, I've got a big surprise for you boys!
Lord Master Lox: What is it?!
Karen Plankton: You’re gonna see the girl. Her name is Suzie Groove.
Plankton: Wha?
Karen Plankton: Well, hello, tall, green, and evil.
Plankton: May we have this dance?
Lord Master Lox: Yes, we can.
Steve Master Lox: Oh yeah!
Lord Master Lox and Steve Master Lox: *high fives each other*
Slide transition cuts to the City Recreation Center. SpongeBob is heard grunting as a sign displays the text "Suzie Groove: School of Dance; 7:30 PM." Inside, SpongeBob, Pearl K., Yellow, Brown, Cyan and Lincoln  are stretching their legs. Slappy and Slippy can be seen, as well as Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox and Steve Master Lox Plankton and Karen, now in formal wear.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Love the new stems, Plankton. *winks, then loses balance and falls* Whoa!
Yellow Rectangle: Hey Master Lox! Hey Steve! I love your new bow ties!
Lord Master Lox: Yep. We put them on when we were at the Chum Bucket.
Steve Master Lox: And you have a bow tie too, Yellow.
Yellow Rectangle: *winks, then stretches my leg*
As his watch beeps.
Plankton: It's 8:00 p.m. already. Where's our dance instructor?
As everyone looks in her direction.
Suzie Groove: *offscreen* Hello, class! I’ll be your tango instructor!
Lincoln Loud: She's so cool, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob SquarePants: She is!
Suzie Groove: *offscreen* I’ll come right in. *enters from a door*
As she begins dancing, does the split, and stops in front of everyone.
All: *cheers and applause*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Yellow Rectangle and Lincoln Loud: *jumps and cheers, then grabs onto Pearl, Brown and Cyan and continues cheering*
Pearl Krabs, Brown and Cyan Rectangle: *sighs*
Yellow Rectangle: Who are you?
Suzie Groove: I'm Suzie Groove. I'm your tango instructor. *moves head back and forth* And when I'm done with you, *takes off hoodie* this is how you gotta move.
Tango dances with her hoodie, then tosses a rose to SpongeBob with her mouth.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *catches rose with my mouth, blushes and giggles*
Suzie Groove: *places my hoodie on a clothing rack* So, everyone start dancing, and I'll come around and give you some tips.
Lincoln Loud: *bounces around*
Yellow Rectangle: *does the jumping jack*
As Pearl, Brown and Cyan look unimpressed.
Suzie Groove: *makes SpongeBob, Yellow and Lincoln stand up* You're breaking the first rule, honey.
Yellow Rectangle: What?! No way! How are we supposed to dance?!
Suzie Groove: It takes *holds up two fingers* two to tango.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry, Miss Groove. Mr. Krabs ordered me to be Pearl's *twirls around* tango partner tonight, but she *struts legs* just doesn't dig my tangy moves.
Pearl Krabs: *points* SpongeBob, you can't tango. We need a real dance partner, not a cackling, bow-legged goofball. No offense.
Lincoln Loud: *legs tied together like a bow* I take it as a compliment.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs*
Yellow is plucking his legs.
Suzie Groove: I can teach *gives a thumbs up* anyone to tango. All you gotta do is... *starts tango dancing with SpongeBob, Yellow and Lincoln, then exchanges them to Pearl, Brown and Cyan*
Cyan Rectangle: Wow, you can tango.
Pearl Krabs, Cyan and Brown Rectangle: *begins tango dancing with SpongeBob
Brown Rectangle: Thanks to Suzie Groove.
Slippy from SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs*
As she merges together with Slappy.
Suzie Groove: *approaches* That's too close to tango. *separates the six into three boys and three girls and holds a stick between them*
As she begins to tango dance with them, then sets them off.
Pearl Master Lox and Karen Plankton: *tango dances with Plankton*
Plankton is sweating and struggling to keep balance.
Pearl Master Lox: One, two, three. One, two, three. Say it with me.
Karen Plankton: One, two, three. One, two, three. Relax, Sheldon.
Plankton: I'm trying, my little whirling dervish, *gestures to my legs* but these legs have minds of their own.
Lord Master Lox: Come on, come on.
His legs hit him in the face and butt.
Lord Master Lox: Not that way, you idiots. *hits my legs with a stick* Damn you! Hya!
Steve Master Lox: James, watch my leg. *stretches my legs*
Pearl Master Lox: Compose yourself, darling. We're in public.
Plankton: Huh? I know. I just need something to balance me. *grabs a rose from a vase with my mouth* See? It works. *loses balance* Uh-oh. Wait, I got it. *accidentally sticks my leg in Pearl's blowhole*
Which she blows to release his leg, which goes out the now-broken window.
Plankton: I got it!
His leg goes through another building's window steps on an open stove in a different building, which makes him scream and retract his leg, which returns to the building and gets caught by Suzie.
Suzie Groove: Stop dancing!
Plankton: *loses balance again*
As Karen sadly grabs his legs, then he falls over.
Plankton: Ow.
Karen Plankton: Sorry, Suzie.
Pearl Master Lox: I'm sorry, Suzie but Plankton needs to learn how to stretch his legs.
Lord Master Lox: What?
Plankton: *shrugs* I just washed my legs, and I can't do a thing with them.
As Plankton stands up and tries to keep his balance.
Suzie Groove: Legs ain't your problem, honey. If you want to tango, you got to learn to dance with your *moves hips* hips.
Steve Master Lox: Our hips?
Plankton: With my lips?
Live-action close-up of him moving his lips.
Lord Master Lox: Plankton, this isn't working.
Karen Plankton: *eyes roll off my screen* Ugh.
Pearl Master Lox: You’ve got to be kidding.
Suzie Groove: That's because I said hips! Watch me. All you got to do is... *moves hips*
Pearl Master Lox: Wow, your hips are so hip. You got your work cut out for you, James.
Lord Master Lox: Our hips can't do that.
Plankton: Yeah, our hips.
Suzie Groove: Of course they can. You got to force them to do it. *holds onto James, Pearl, Steve, Sheldon and Karen* The tango is physical, *dances with Karen and Pearl* emotional, and most importantly, *pushes the two out of the way* aggressive.
Lord Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Plankton and Karen Plankton: What?
Steve Master Lox: Aggressive? *grins evilly with Karen*
Lord Master Lox: Now you're talking our language.
Karen Plankton: Yeah, we speak fluent aggression.
Suzie Groove: Good. Tap into that aggression and put it in your *flexes arm* hips. Now, abrazo. slams hands together* Embrace!
Lord Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Plankton and Karen Plankton: *grabs onto each other* Abrazo.
Plankton: Ready? *aggressively dances* All you gotta do is...
SpongeBob SquarePants, Yellow Rectangle and Lincoln Loud: *dances with Pearl K., Brown and Cyan*
Yellow Rectangle: Terrific tangoing, Planktons.
Pearl Krabs: Yeah, I thought we were good.
Lord Master Lox: Aw, how nice of you to say. *twirls Karen into SpongeBob, Pearl, Yellow, Brown, Cyan and Lincoln*
They are sending them backwards and creating an explosion as he laughs with Karen.
Slippy from SpongeBob SquarePants: *dances with Slappy* Abrazo, my stinky cheese. *laughs*
Slappy Laszlo: Abrazo, my rotten rose.
Karen Plankton: *holds a spike strip* Oh, no, I accidentally dropped *drops spike strip behind Slappy and Slippy* my spike strip. Oopsie.
Slappy Laszlo: *steps on the spike strip
It is making him and Slippy both deflate like a balloon around the room and crash into a piano.
Slappy Laszlo: Ow!
Slappy Laszlo and Slippy from SpongeBob SquarePants: *gets up*
Their teeth have merged into a piano. A tune plays.
Slappy Laszlo and Slippy from SpongeBob SquarePants: *giggles and blushes, then sighs*
Lord Master Lox, Steve Master Lox and Plankton: *swings while dancing with Karen*
Steve Master Lox: We're the king and queen of tango.
Suzie Groove: *approaches Okay, Planktons, take four. *gets slammed into the wall* Ahh! *rolls onto the ground*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Yellow Rectangle and Lincoln Loud: *holds onto Suzie*
Yellow Rectangle: That wasn't very nice of Plankton and Karen.
Suzie Groove: *brushes myself off* No, it wasn't, but *places her arm onto SpongeBob, Yellow and Lincoln* that's the tango, honey.
Pearl Master Lox: *laughs*
Suzie Groove: *applauds* Bravo, Planktons. Nice aggression.
Karen Plankton: Oh, thank you, Suzie. I haven't had this much fun since I got defragged.
Plankton: I'd say we're the best in the class...
Pearl Master Lox and Karen Plankton: *nods*
Plankton: ...wouldn't you, Miss Groove?
Suzie Groove: I think you're great, but my top students might disagree.
Lord Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox, Plankton and Karen Plankton: Top students?
Suzie Groove: *looks at my watch* Yeah. They're late today.
Lord Master Lox: It's them. They're the ones coming late.
Suzie Groove: You go look for them at the door.
The lights go out as Bubble Bass and his mother arrive in formal attire. A spotlight shines onto them.
Bubble Bass: The tango masters have arrived.
Mama Bass: Sorry we're late. Bubble Bass needed clean underwear.
Bubble Bass: *blushes* Mother.
Steve Master Lox: Huh?
Plankton: Bubble Bass and his mom?
Lord Master Lox: How did they get in here?
Bubble Bass: *moves butt* That's right. Mother and I have won the Undersea Tango Championship *holds up three fingers* three years in a row. We're the best.
Plankton: But yet somehow, and without warning, *yells* we're the best!
Steve Master Lox: That's what I'm talking about!
Karen Plankton: Now, who wants to dance with us?
Master Lox, Steve and Plankton excitedly dance with her and Pearl.
Plankton: We do. We're gonna dance.
Lord Master Lox: Really?
Plankton: Actually, there's an extra room.
Steve Master Lox: An extra room?
Bubble Bass: It's called the dancing room.
Pearl Master Lox: Yay! Dancing room!
Lord Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox, Plankton, Karen Plankton, Bubble Bass and Mama Bass: *goes to the dancing room* Wow!
Lord Master Lox: Look at that, dancing floors.
Mama Bass: Let's dance!
The horn blares.
Pearl Master Lox, Karen Plankton and Mama Bass: *starts dancing on the dance floor*
Steve Master Lox: Dancing room Bowling Alley!
Plankton: Let's go!
Lord Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Plankton and Bubble Bass: *goes to the dancing room Bowling Alley*
Lord Master Lox: I'm up first. *rolls the bowling ball to the bowling pins*
He rolls a 7.
Lord Master Lox: 7 pins. Not bad.
Steve Master Lox: Roll again.
Lord Master Lox: Okay. *rolls it again*
He rolls a 2 which is 9 points.
Lord Master Lox: 2 pins?
Plankton: I’m up next. *tries to lift the bowling ball but it's too heavy getting squished by the bowling ball* Ouch! I’m too heavy to lift the bowling ball!
Lord Master Lox: I’ll take your turn, Plankton. *rolls the bowling ball*
Plankton gets a 5.
Plankton: 5 pins?
Lord Master Lox: *rolls it again*
He rolls a 3 which is 8 points for Plankton.
Steve Master Lox: My turn. *rolls the bowling ball to the bowling pins*
He rolls a 6.
Lord Master Lox: Alright, Steve!
Steve Master Lox: *rolls it again*
He rolls a 2 which is 8 points.
Steve Master Lox: 8 points for me.
Bubble Bass: I’ll go next.
Plankton: Huh?
Bubble Bass: *squishes Plankton on the bowling ball* Let's see if you like it. *rolls the bowling ball too hard getting a strike*
Plankton: *screams*
The bowling ball knocks all the bowling pins and he gets a strike.
Bubble Bass: Strike! I got a Strike!
Screen cuts to Suzie.
Suzie Groove: I’m back.
Lord Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox, Plankton, Karen Plankton, Bubble Bass and Mama Bass: *gets out of the dancing room*
Lord Master Lox: That was fun! Wasn't it, Plankton?!
Plankton: Yes, it was!
Steve Master Lox: Wooo!
Suzie Groove: *gets in between the two pairs* I smell a dance-off.
Bubble Bass: *gestures*
As they all move.
Bubble Bass: Insects first. Hmph.
Lord Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Plankton and Karen Plankton: *begins dancing with each other* Ta-da! Well, try and out-tango that.
Bubble Bass: Don't mind if we do. *begins dancing with my mom
As Master Lox, Steve, Pearl, Plankton and Karen move out of the way.
Karen has a "!" on her screen.
Steve Master Lox: Huh?
Lord Master Lox, Steve Master Lox and Bubble Bass: *growls at each other*
As they begin dancing again.
Steve Master Lox: I said we're the best. Remember?
Lord Master Lox: Move out of the way! *knocks Bubble Bass and his mom out of the way*
Plankton: Abrazo.
He and his mom squish Master Lox, Steve, Pearl, Karen and Plankton.
Bubble Bass: Looks like someone ordered a Bass sandwich.
Lord Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Plankton and Karen Plankton: *yells*
As they bounce around the building and end up outside the building on the ground.
Pearl Master Lox: *gets up* Well, that was fun. But I guess we're not aggressive enough to be the best.
Plankton: *gets up* Nobody is more aggressive than us.
A ray gun drops to the ground.
Lord Master Lox, Steve Master Lox and Pearl Master Lox: *gets up*
Lord Master Lox: They just have more practice. If only there was some way we could cheat...
Pearl Master Lox and Karen Plankton: *sighs*
Lord Master Lox: ...and show them who's really the best.
Steve Master Lox: Yeah. Who will become unstoppable.
Karen Plankton: Let's just go home, Sheldon. *picks up ray gun* Here, this fell out of your pocket.
Plankton: *eyes ray gun and takes it* Ooh, it's my Ray-Ray ray, *looks at the camera* the device that turns me into my alter ego with great hair, Ray-Ray. That'll make me more aggressive.
Karen Plankton: *takes back ray gun* Ooh, you're right, Plankton. My Ray-Ray is the only one who could take charge of this. Hold still.
Plankton: *holds still*
As her shaky aim shoots Old Man Walker with the ray instead, turning him into Ray-Ray.
Old Man Walker: *walking with confidence*
As he tosses away his walker.
Old Man Walker: It's Ray-Ray, baby!
Pearl Master Lox: Oops. Sorry, wrong old man.
Karen Plankton: *shoots Plankton with the ray, turning him into Ray-Ray*
Plankton: It's Ray-Ray, baby.
Cut to Master Lox, Pearl, Steve, Karen and Plankton breaking through a window in the recreational building.
Lord Master Lox: *points* Looks like someone ordered a cold plate of revenge.
Pearl Master Lox: With extra humiliation.
Bubble Bass and Mama Bass: *hisses like cats*
Suzie Groove: Tango rematch, honey.
The two and the five begin dancing. Bubble Bass and his mom try to tackle Master Lox, Steve, Pearl, Plankton and Karen, but miss.
Bubble Bass: *whimpers*
Master Lox, Steve, Pearl, Plankton and Karen's dancing sets the room on fire.
Lord Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Plankton and Karen Plankton: *laughs*
Mama Bass: *yells while holding Bubble Bass*
Karen Plankton: *kicks the pair to the wall, who is left in awe*
As they fall down.
Suzie Groove: Whoo!
Karen Plankton: *laughs with Master Lox, Steve, Pearl and Plankton* Go, Ray-Ray, go!
Bubble Bass: I want to hate the Planktons, but they're so good. *cries*
Mama Bass: *comforts my son* Oh, there, there, there.
SpongeBob SquarePants: He dances like an angel.
Pearl Krabs: Of death.
Yellow Rectangle: Look at him.
Lincoln Loud: Plankton dancing.
Brown Rectangle: In hell.
Cyan Rectangle: There's a fire on their sets.
Suzie Groove: By the tango vested in me, I pronounce Karen and Ray-Ray my *gets on top of Bubble Bass and his mom* top students, honey.
Pearl and Karen are still dancing with Master Lox, Steve and Plankton.
Karen Plankton: We did it, Ray-Ray.
Pearl Master Lox: We're the best.
Steve Master Lox: Happy birthday, Karen-cakes, top of the world.
Plankton: Now for the big finish.
His legs begin to shrink.
Lord Master Lox: *points to Plankton's legs* Plankton, your legs!
Plankton: Oh, no. Too. Much. Friction! *ends up spinning on the floor with no legs* My--
Fred Rechid: *covers Plankton's mouth* My legs! Sorry, that's my line.
Yellow Rectangle: *holds up my legs while on a skateboard* Here, Plankton, you can borrow my legs.
Plankton: No, thanks. Mine are growing back already.
Karen Plankton: *picks him up*
Plankton: Thank you, Karen.
Karen Plankton: It takes two to tango. Come here, Ray-Ray. *kisses Plankton, electrocuting him*
Lord Master Lox, Steve Master Lox and Pearl Master Lox: Aww!
The Ray-Ray ray falls out of Plankton's pocket, causing everyone to be turned into Ray-Ray.
All: The name's Ray-Ray, baby.
Lord Master Lox, Pearl Master Lox, Steve Master Lox, Plankton and Karen Plankton: Uh-oh.
Screen cuts in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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