Shinjuku Division: Matenro Drama Track 1

Shinjuku Division: Matenrō Drama Track 1 is the first drama track from the Matenrō -Aural Medicine- album.
==Cast==
*Sho Hayami as Jakurai Jinguji
*Ryuichi Kijima as Hifumi Izanami
*Kento Ito as Doppo Kannonzaka
==Audio==
<spotify uri="spotify:track:0LQJjCp8yEF3DC6r15eg0I" height="80" width="700" />
==Video==
center|link=Special:FilePath/File:ヒプノシスマイク「シンジュク・ディビジョン麻天狼_Drama_Track①_」from_「麻天狼-音韻臨床-」（第三弾CD）
==Translation==
 	
 	Goodness, I need to select teammates soon, but no one has piqued my interest. I’m honestly less concerned with skill, but is there really no one who could capture my imagination?
Nurse 	Doctor, it’s time for your next appointment. I’ll send the patient in.
 	Thank you. Oh, Doppo-kun, you’re back. Is your anxiety over your future making it difficult to sleep again?
 	No, you helped me control my anxiety a bit, doctor.
 	I’m very glad to hear that. So, what brings you here today?
 	I’m sorry to bother you, but I thought you would be just the person to come to for help with this issue.
 	Assuming it is within the scope of my abilities, I would gladly help. Now, tell me what’s wrong.
 	T-Thank you. I actually brought my friend along for this. I’ll call him in.
 	(Well, I’m glad nothing is physically wrong with him, but I get the impression that he’s looking to me less as a doctor and more as a counselor of sorts.)
 	Sorry to keep you waiting. Allow me to introduce you: this is my friend, Hifumi Izanami.
 	What’s up, Doc?! Name’s Hifumi Izanami! But you can call me Hifumin!
 	H-Hifumin? W-Well, I’m pleased to meet you. Now, Hifumi-kun, this is a hospital, so I must ask you to use your indoor voice.
 	Oh, no! Sorry! Sorry! I am so very sorry! Ugh, Hifumi, you were so rude! Apologize to him already!
 	Huh? Oh! My bad! I’m like totes soz!
 	Do it properly! You always do this to me. I go out of my way to try to help you, but I always end up with egg on my face. …I’m starting to feel like I’ve done something wrong. I mean, my boss chewed me out again today, telling me I should do something about my dour face since I’m part of the sales team. Is that why Hifumi’s giving me grief? Because he’s fed up with my depressing face? Yeah, that has to be it. It’s all my fault. All of it. Hifumi misbehaving, my little brother failing his exams, the fact that it rained today… It’s all, all, my fault. My fault. All my fault.
 	Huh. Doppo-kun, I know I’ve told you this many times before, but you need to stop catastrophizing about how everything is your fault.
 	Oh…
 	Pfft! Doppo, that’s like totally hilarious.
 	Hifumi, I have no problem walking out of here this instant.
 	Sorry-sorry! I was just goofin' around! C’mon, Doppo, how long have we known each other?
 	I wish I could go back in time to when I was in elementary school and never make friends with you.
 	Hahaha, but Doppo, if you did that you’d have like zero friends!
 	I’d still do it.
 	Ooh, I’m so scared!
 	Ahem. So, Doppo-kun, am I to assume that you introduced me to Hifumi-kun here because his issue is something I can assist him with?
 	Yes, sir. In short, he’s attracted a pretty dangerous stalker.
 	I did! The situation’s like totes off the wall bananas! She’s, like, gonna kill me for realsies at this rate or something!
 	Hmm. While Hifumi-kun’s choice of words makes this sound neither particularly credible nor urgent, is what he says true, Doppo-kun?
 	Hey! That was mean, doc! I’m in a totally serious bind here!
 	Ugh!
 	Gah! Violence isn’t the answer!
 	I’m extremely sorry, doctor. I know how he sounds, but everything he said is true.
 	So he wasn’t being hyperbolic when he said he thinks she’s going to kill him?
 	That’s correct. I’ve witnessed just how unhinged his stalker is. So his situation is quite precarious right now.
 	Yeah, I’m, like, in some major trouble.
 	How did he come to acquire this stalker?
 	Through his job. He works as a host.
 	I see. So, if I’m understanding correctly, one of Hifumi-kun’s clients started stalking him?
 	Yep, hit the nail right on the head, doc. I’m like totally stoked that she loves me and all, but I’m not losing my life over it!
 	…Now, I apologize for how rude this must sound from someone who’s only just met him, but I find it hard to believe he of all people could attract such a tenacious stalker.
 	Yes, you and me both.
 	Hey! Two on one is no fair!
 	To be honest, I still can’t even believe he’s in a line of work where he has to interact with women every day.
 	It doesn’t seem terribly difficult to believe. I dare say being a host seems like it would be his calling.
 	Well, about that…
Nurse 	Excuse me!
 	Eeeep!
Nurse 	Uh, excuse me, are you alright? You’re not hurt, are you?
 	N-N-No, I-I’m f-fine.
Nurse 	Doctor, you have other patients waiting.
 	Oh, is it time for my next appointment already? I’ll be finished shortly. Hmm, Hifumi-kun, what was that all of a sudden?
 	I-Is, is that l-lady g-gone?
 	Hm? Oh, yes, she left.
 	Uuuuh… Maaan, it totally freaks me out when they show up outta nowhere like that!
 	I didn’t have the opportunity to explain this earlier, but as you can see he isn’t exactly comfortable around women. His demeanor changes drastically like that whenever he has to speak to a woman.
 	I think this is a bit beyond merely "uncomfortable". Allow me to backtrack a bit. Hifumi-kun, I’m impressed that you’re able to keep women company in your job as a host given this personality quirk of yours.
 	Oh, well, uh…
 	Why don’t you tell me more about it once I’ve finished my shift.
 	I apologize for intruding on you during work hours. We’ll meet again later. Come on!
 	Woah!
 	Let’s get going, Hifumi.
 	Hmm… Both Doppo-kun and this Hifumi-kun are most unusual and most fascinating.
 	
Hostess	Welcome!
 	Oh! Jakurai-san! Over here!
 	Oh.
 	I’m sorry for bothering you like this after work, doctor, you must be exhausted.
 	I imagine you went out of your way to bring your friend to me for advice because you needed my assistance, Doppo-kun.
 	I’m really sorry for the trouble.
 	Thanks a ton, Jakurai-san!
 	Ugh… Why do you think I’m apologizing right now?
 	Huh? Oh crud, you mean because of me, don’t you! My bad!
 	Hifumi-kun, your personality appears to change drastically when you’re in the presence of women. So I have to ask, how is it that you manage to work as a host if you can’t speak in the presence of women?
 	Oh, haha…
 	Doctor, he wears a suit when he works as a host and takes on an entirely different personality.
 	Hmm? He seemed to have a drastic personality shift in that other instance as well, but I’m guessing this one is somewhat different?
 	Yes. I think it’d be easier to understand if you saw him in action. It would probably make more sense how he got himself such a deranged stalker too.
 	I see. Now, am I to understand that you need my assistance with regard to this stalker?
 	Yeah, yeah. Take a look at this.
 	A letter?
 	Found this inside. What she wrote was some like totally nutso psycho bonkers stuff.
 	Hmm… "I am your woman. I am your slave. I am your property. I am in love––madly in love––with every aspect of you." Indeed, this is rather… something. Oh? This letter wouldn’t happen to be written in…
 	She stuffed pics of her sliced up wrists in with the letter written in her blood.
 	I can’t imagine it would be very pleasant to receive a letter of that nature. However, are you sure you’re not overreacting to think your life is in danger?
 	W-Well…
 	Hifumi, I think you should show him.
 	Um… Uh…
 	A kitchen knife.
 	The knife came with this letter.
 	"Why? Why won’t you understand me? I am so desperately devoted to you, but I don’t see any other way than killing you and then myself." Is this written in blood as well?
 	The night I ended up with this knife and letter, she broke into my apartment and stabbed me in the arm.
 	So she didn’t just cut you, she stabbed you? Well, I think that’s a rather clear demonstration of her intent to kill you. I feel I should note that this seems less like a matter to be consulting with a doctor about and more one for the police.
 	Oh, of course we went. There’s already a warrant out for her arrest. But they don’t know where she went off to.
 	So she’s on the run?
 	She appears to have escaped, but she’ll probably try to attack Hifumi if she sees an opportunity.
 	It’s not like I think the police won't help or anything, but she totally wants me dead and I’m starting to think she’s not gonna get caught until she gets what she wants.
 	Hmm, I think I understand the situation now. You’d like me to incapacitate her with my Hypnosis Mic when she appears next.
 	In so many words, yeah, that’s pretty much it.
 	Then I cannot help you. I do not want to use my Hypnosis Mic except when I have absolutely no other options. I would strongly suggest you have either the police or a private security firm protect your person.
 	No, you don’t get it.
 	I don’t "get" what?
 	We don’t want her incapacitated, we were hoping you could cure her, Jakurai-san.
 	That’s why I brought this issue to you, doctor.
 	Like, sure, I value my life and all, but I value her wellbeing just about as much, you know? Jakurai-san, you’re a world-renowned doctor, and you used to be in The Dirty Dawg, right? So I figured as a doctor you should be able to help cure a mental illness too.
 	Yes, now I understand. It appears I was not being considerate enough earlier.
 	Oh, doctor–
 	I shall accept this patient into my care.
 	
 	Doctor, it hasn’t even been a full day yet, but you already figured out where she is?
 	I have a very talented friend in the Ikebukuro Division who does odd jobs. It didn’t even take him a day from when I hired him to find her location.
 	That friend of yours really does sound amazing.
 	Indeed. I owe him a great deal, but unfortunately he and I will be pitted against each other in the coming days.
 	Hm? Did you say something, sir?
 	Hm? Oh, nothing at all. More importantly, where is Hifumi?
 	I think he should be here soon.
 	Sorry to have kept the two of you waiting.
 	Oh, I see you’re wearing a suit. I take it you’re on your way to work.
 	Yes, and I must apologize for my impropriety earlier, I can’t imagine I made a very good first impression.
 	You really do become a totally different person when you have that thing on.
 	Oh, if it isn’t my dear friend Doppo! You’re always doing so much for me, I don’t know how I could ever repay you. You really are a shining example of what a friend should be.
 	H-How can you say something so embarrassing with no shame…
 	Hm, I see. Just as you said he’s like an entirely different person. That said, I am most curious as to why he transforms so drastically when he puts that suit on.
 	As embarrassing as this is to admit, I had been treated terribly by women in the past and developed a phobia as a result. I got fed up with the situation when I’d turned 20 with no sign of my condition improving, so I took the drastic measure of deciding to become a host.
 	Well, that is impressive. It is laudable to see a young person these days putting himself into such an uncomfortable position to better himself.
 	As you might imagine, I was no use at all at first, but once the discomfort of having to talk to women every day pushed me to my absolute limit, I started forcing myself to believe that from the moment I put on my suit, I was a different person––and thus the me you see before you was born.
 	I see, so in your case it’s not so much a case of dissociative identity disorder as it is a rather extreme effect of self-suggestion. Absolutely fascinating.
 	Doctor, I think we should get going now.
 	
 	She’s on the top floor? What a pain.
 	Why do you say that?
 	Oh, nothing. But just to be safe, do you mind if I stay back on the first floor?
 	Of course. I’m sure you have something in mind. Hifumi-kun, I will try to reach out to her first, so please stay somewhere out of sight from the door.
 	Yes, sir.
 	Hello, my name is Jakurai Jinguji. I am a doctor at Shinjuku Central Hospital. I’ve come at the request of Hifumi Izanami. I would very much appreciate it if you could open this door.
Stalker	Hifumi asked you to come?
 	Thank you for answering the door. Would you mind if I came in?
Stalker	How did you find me?
 	I’m told that Hifumi-kun hired a private detective to locate you because he was very worried about you.
Stalker	I don’t believe you.
 	You don’t need to believe me. Although I do think the fact that I’ve shown up here rather than the police should earn me at least some scrap of credibility.
Stalker	Fine, you can come in.
 	Thank you and pardon the intrusion.
 	
Stalker	Why would a famous person like you come to see me just because Hifumi asked you to?
 	I am honored that you know of me.
Stalker	Oh, don’t treat me like an idiot. Is there anyone in this country who doesn’t know who you are?
 	Then you ought to know that I am a doctor. Hifumi-kun asked me to treat you.
Stalker	Treat me?
 	Yes, he believes you are suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Stalker	I’m perfectly sane.
 	Your feelings for Hifumi-kun are unhealthy.
Stalker	…What?
 	I’m sorry, I couldn’t quite catch that.
Stalker	You’re saying my feelings for Hifumi are a sickness? Where do you get off?!
 	Please, calm down. I bear you no ill will. I am only here to help you.
Stalker	Shut up! My love for Hifumi is real! I’m not like those stupid whores!
 	Jakurai-san! Are you okay?
Stalker	Aha! Hifumi! I knew you loved me! Don’t worry, I’ll kill you right now. Then I’ll kill myself and we’ll be together forever.
 	Kitten, if that’d make you happy I’d gladly lay down my life for you. But I don’t think that’s what you really want. Death is the easy answer. I think the opposite––picking life––is a lot harder. But I swear, I’ll help you recover and get back to a normal life, so please, put down the knife.
Stalker	Hifumi...
 	You understand?
Stalker	Aaaaaaah! Stop toying with me! What normal life?! I refuse to believe I’m sick for feeling this way! That’s why I’m going to kill you and prove it!
 	Stop this at once. What will doing this accomplish?If you die your love and everything else will die along withAbandoning you in such a state, how could I? You must surviveTake whatever path you doYou can shine brighter, tomorrow is just before youPaths that can be forged with a blade simply do not existAnd you are no differentThis has all been a bad dreamSo please, believe, you can rely on me
Stalker	Aaaaaaaah! I… I’ve done something awful to you, Hifumi.
 	You were just having a bad dream. Just imagine this is the moment you wake up from it and greet a brand new morning.
Stalker	You might be fine with this, but I’m not... I’m gonna jump to atone!
 	Gah– Just in the nick of time.
Stalker	Let me go! I’ll never be able show my face again!
 	I’ll pull you up, so just hold on a little longer! Hifumi-kun!
Stalker	Why did you do that?! You’re going to get squashed at this rate!
 	This is the only way I could think of that might have a chance of saving you even a little.
Stalker	Hifumi!
 	Huh? A mattress?
 	As they say, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Hifumi! You owe me for this too.
 	Hahahaha! What would we do without friends? My debt just keeps growing, huh?
 	Heheh, goodness. They only grow more interesting.
 	
 	As she’s lost consciousness, I will be hospitalizing her for a bit.
 	Thank you very much for your help, doctor. I don’t know how I could possibly repay you for all you’ve done for me, but I’ll find a way.
 	Doctor, please allow me to repay your kindness as well!
 	Of course. Here, these are for you.
 	Are these…
 	Hypnosis Mics?
 	If you call yourselves men, surely you can rap.
 	Well, uh, I guess…
 	I can, but I’m not sure I want to subject you to it…
 	Hehe, well if you think you owe me anything, I would appreciate it if you’d indulge me.
 	Everyday’s a loop of the same thing. Is it all my fault?Life sucks but not enough to really worryBut it sure is boringSociety is so icy but for some reason now it feels cozyI rhyme my complaints through the micThis is my style
 	I can control myself, always switching on and offThis and that and the other thingMe, myself, and I––we’re the real thingJust like a final boss, I am my own enemyBut the when it’s all over, it’s the best feeling!
 	(Their rap was less a demonstration of skill than their overwhelmingly unique personalities. Hehe, they’re the real deal.)
 	Umm, here’s your mic back.
 	Huh? Doctor?
 	Would you two hold onto those for me?
 	Huh?
 	Would you care to join me in changing the world?
==Also==
*Shinjuku Division: Matenrō Drama Track 2
==Credits==
*Translation by HypmicEN.
Category:Drama Tracks
Category:Matenro