Transcripts 1999-11

Transcripts from November 1999 strips.
==November 1==
HeaderText: In October of 1999, an amateur cartoonist got really pissed off in Littlehampton, Sussex while trying to find a cinema showing "The Blair Witch Project" and failing.A week later he found out it was out on video in America and that pissed him off even more.Panel 1Extreme close-up of a crying Kingston parodying the iconic shot of The Blair Witch Project.Kingston: It's my fault! It's all my fault. It was my idea.Panel 2Kingston is now sweating also.Kingston: It was me that insisted that poring flour into your hair dryer would be good for a laugh. When it caught fire and blew a fuse I insisted that shoving a screwdriver into the fuse box would make do.Panel 3Kingston now has his eyes closed tightly.Kingston: I'm so sorry Anne I'm so sorry! *PLEASE* let go of my balls!
==November 8==
Panel 1Richard and Anne are standing on a bridge at night. A car? and some buildings are in the background.Richard: It's gone 12, so that's Guy Fawkes over without Norman blowing something up!Anne: He must be slipping!Panel 2Richard and Anne are silhouetted by a large "KABOOM" effect, with only their googly eyes visible.Panel 3Extreme close-up of Richard.Richard: Then again, I might have forgotten to wind back my watch last week.Panel 4Norman is standing next to a line of large skyrockets, looking into the distance with binoculars.Caption: Meanwhile...Norman: Oh SWEET! The gas works went up a treat! Too bad I was aiming for the police station! Oh well there's plenty more where that came from...
==November 15==
Panel 1Anne and Richard are in a clothing store. Anne is trying on a sleeveless blue dress split up the sides to the hip, pleased with it. Richard is sitting on a bench and playing a green Game Boy Color, not paying any attention to Anne.Anne: I love this dress Richard. What do you think?Richard: Yeah, lovely.Panel 2Anne has tried on a black dress with short sleeves, also split up the sides to the hip. She looks annoyed with Richard, who is still boredly playing the GBC.Anne: Okay, what about this one?Richard: Yeah that one's great.Panel 3Anne is completely naked, her tail facing the camera. She speaks in a blood-curdling typeface, but Richard still pays no attention, although Anne gets a shocked look from a cameo character in the background (no idea who, but it's clear it's a reference to someone, need to find out).Anne: WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE!?!Richard: Perfect.Panel 4Richard has dropped the GBC onto the bench and has his arms between his legs, crying in pain.Off-panel (Anne): Well at least I know a kick in the bollocks can get your attention!
==November 22==
Panel 1Norman is angrily gesturing at a piece of paper in his hand and yelling at Kingston, who looks over his shoulder in confusion.Norman: 'Ere Kingston! These fake tattoos of yours are complete shite! None of them stick or anything!Kingston: What the hell are you bitching about?Panel 2Norman throws his hands to his sides in an angry gesture. The paper in his hand reveals several squares in a 4x3 pattern, one of which in the top corner has been torn out. Kingston crosses his arms and raises one hand at Norman in bewilderment.Norman: These 'ere transfer tattoos of yours, they're all crap! I've licked half of 'em and none of them worked!Kingston: Hold on, what the f**k would I do with fake tattoos Gates?Panel 3Close-up (sort of, given the panel size) of Kingston, looking skeptical.Kingston: Wait a sec... Transfers? Did you get that sheet from an envelope with the ace of spades on it from *MY* draws in *MY* room?Panel 4Norman looks slightly out of it while a psychedelic gradient appears in the background. Kingston now has a very large head, sharp teeth, and a long snake tongue as he yells at Norman.Kingston: YOU F**KING MORON! DO YOU KNOW HOW F**KING HARD IT IS TO GET DECENT ACID HERE!?!Norman: Oi! Being 20 feet tall don't mean I can't give ya a slap!
==November 29==
Panel 1Norman is sitting on the couch, "SNIFF SNIFF"-ing as his body faces left. The kitchen is visible in the background (but blurry).Panel 2Norman leans back, eyes closed for an "AAHHH"Panel 3Norman tilts his head forward to finish the sneeze with "CHOO!"Panel 4Extreme close-up of Norman's eyes as he looks down.Norman: Oh crap!Panel 5The camera pans around to view Norman from the front. He is on the phone, looking concerned, as his long front teeth have punctured his chest, blood everywhere. A photo of Anne and Richard snuggling (probably) is in the background.Norman: Er, could I have an ambulance please? Also can you get a move on coz I've lost quite a bit of blood here!Phone (hospital dispatcher): Hello Norman! Stabbed yourself in the chest with your teeth again?Norman: Yeah.Phone (hospital dispatcher): *sigh* I'll tell them to get the angle grinder out!
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