Total Drama Legend Battle/Coming Home Transcipt

(Chris' house, southern Ontario; Chris has been sentenced to 13 years house arrest)
Chris: I don't know why my show got cancelled; maybe it's because the ratings got all zeros. But Why Don’t People Like That Sort Of Stuff?
(Someone Knocks At The Door. Chris Opens It. Tom McGinnis (Surprise Cameo!) enters the house and sits on the couch with Chris)
McGinnis: Chris, the guy that showed you the ratings for Total Drama screwed up.
Chris: What!? Why?
McGinnis: He showed you the ratings for an AMERICAN show!
Chris: So? What show was it?
McGinnis: A 1980s game show called Press Your Luck.
(McGinnis shows Chris a sheet of paper)
McGinnis: Here's the REAL ratings for Total Drama!
Chris: (Stutters) ALL TENS???
McGinnis: Exactly!
Chris: What does that mean?
(Chris' ankle scanner [which the RCMP put on] shuts off; an RCMP agent enters the house, takes it off, and leaves)
McGinnis: You're rehired as of 6 AM tomorrow; A Selection Of Contestants From All Three Generations Of Total Drama, And Chef Will Be Waiting For You. We’ve Also Amped Up The Cash Prize To...One Billion Dollars!
Chris: Yes! Total Drama Is Back,Baby! So What Is The Location?
Tom Scratches The Back Of His Head.
McGinnis: Errrrrrrr...Yeah. About That...You Know Camp Wawanakwa?
Chris Nods His Head.
McGinnis: It’s Still There.
Chris: WHAT!?!?!? I Thought It Was Destroyed!
McGinnis: Calm Down! We Used A Stunt Island For All-Stars. It’s Still Ready For Its Next Season! What Do You Say?
Chris: (In The Tone Of Saying “Total...Drama...“Insert Season Name Here”) COUNT...ME...IN!!!
(The Intro...You Know How It Goes. After The Intro, Chris Is Standing On The Dock Of Camp Wawanakwa)
Chris - Hey There! Chris McLean Here, Coming To You Live From (Suprisingly Rebuilt) Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. (Cuts To The Mess Hall) Here's the deal. 30 campers have signed up to Come Back Here And Spend A Lot Of Time Together...Slapping Each Other’s Butts In A Whole New Set Of Challenges. (Cuts Back To The Dock) Who will crumble and crack under the teen pressure? And Who Will Take The Cash Prize Home?  Welcome to Total. Drama. LEGEND BATTLE!!! Now, The Teens Haven’t Been Here In A While, so if they seem a little T.O.ed, that's probably why.
A Helicopter Shows Up.
Chris - Let‘s Start With The O.Gs. Kicking It All Off,Party Dude And Really Fussy Fat Eater, OWEN!!
Owen Gets Tossed Out Of The Helicopter.
Owen - Whoo-hoo!! I'm king of the world!!
Chris - Boyfriend stealer And Gothic Loner Badass, GWEN!!!
Gwen - I HATE YOU MCLEAN!! I Am Not Getting Involved In Your Ridiculous Season! Never! Again!
Chef - Are You Sure?
Gwen Gets Booted Out.
Gwen - ARE YOU JOKING ME!?
Chris - Action Ace And Wannabe Warrior, BETH!!
Beth Jumps Out, Eyes Closed.
Beth - It almost feels like I’m...(Opens Them) FALLING!!! (Screams)
Chris - Broody bad boy And Devious Delinquent, DUNCAN!!
Duncan - No! I refuse! I’m Not Gonna Nearly Die From Everything, Just For A Laugh!! 
He Gets Kicked Out.
Duncan - Fine! Bring It On!! See If I Care!!
Chris - And The Rest. IZZY,TRENT,COURTNEY,HEATHER AND ALEJANDRO!!
The Group Gets Tossed Out In That Order.
Chris - Man! That Never Gets Old. Anyway...
Suddenly, A Familar Shadow Tackles Chris...It’s Ezekiel!! And He‘s Not Happy.
Chris - GET...OFF...ME...YOU...BEAST!! (Throws Him)
Ezekiel - (Heavily Breaths) Rrrraasauuuuggghhh!!!
Gwen - Sorry Zeek, But We Can’t Understand You.
Ezekiel - (Facepalms) Grrrrrrrrrr... (Shows A Badly Drawn Picture Of Himself With The Million Dollar Case And Points To It. Then Points To Chris And Mimes Slicing His Neck With His Thumb) 
Owen - Still Can’t Tell....But I Think He Wants To Join.
He Nods.
Chris - I Like The Enthusiasm, Zeek. But...(Points To His Feral Body) That’s Not Exactly Total Drama Material.
Ezekiel Grabs Chris’ Shirt And Growls.
Chris - ALRIGHT!! ALRIGHT!! YOU CAN JOIN IN!!!
Ezekiel - (Lets Go Of The Shirt And Nods)
Izzy - I’ll Bet You All Bragging Rights, He Won’t Make It Past This Episode.
Ezekiel - (Roars At Izzy)
Chris - Geez Louise! Alright Let’s Keep Going...From Revenge of the Island,Say Hello to Former MPD Dude,MIKE!!
Mike - Crickey! I Thought You Were Under House Arrest!
Chris - (Laughs) Sorry Pal, No Can Do!
Mike Is Kicked Out.
Chris - Mike's crushed pushover turn powerhouse, ZOEY!!!
Zoey - I LOVE YOU MIKE!!! (Jumps Out After Him)
Chris - Super Soldier And Darkness Fearer,BRICK!!
Brick - YOU SIR, ARE A MAN WITH NO HONOR WHATSOEVER! (Jumps Out Into A Cannonball)
Chris - Paparazzi Plunderer Turned Hollywood Horror Movie Star, DAKOTA!!!
Dakota - DON‘T YOU DARE SAY THAT MCLEAN, ME WAS TURNED INTO A MONSTER BECAUSE OF YOU! (Jumps Out)
Chris - Athletic non-supporter, LIGHTNING!!
Lightning - You Are So Dead McLean, Because No one, I Repeat, NO ONE MESSES WITH LIGHTNING! (Jumps) SHA-BAM!!!
Chris - Former Bubble Boy, Now Total Brainiac, Cameron.
Cameron - And I Rest My Case. YOU ARE SERIOUSLY IN NEED OF MEDICAL SUPPORT!! (Closes Eyes And Jumps)
Chris - Bossy Bruiser And Over Attitude Adjuster, JO!!!
Jo Jumps Out.
Jo - I’M NOT LOSING TO YOU THIS TIME!! JUST WAIT AND SEE!!
Chris -  Nice-Guy (Not) Gamer And Dakota’s Love Bird, SAM!!
Sam - HI YOU GUYS!! (Jumps Out)
Dakota - (Pushes Chris Aside And Catches Him) Ohh There You Are... There You Are. (Sighs) Just Like It Was Always Meant To Be... Trapped Together... Forever...(Accidentally Drops Him) ON THIS STUPID ISLAND!! (Notices Him) Oh...Sorry.
Sam - Apology Accepted. (Groans) Just Don‘t Rage Quit As Much, Okay.