An Extreme Kick-Off/Transcript

== Act 1 ==
=== Scene 1: Chris's Apartment ===
(Sonic and Chris are watching TV)
Guy on TV: You couldn't handle it, could you? You just had to break everything, honey. You're ruining my life!
Lady on TV: Brad, please forgive me! Noooooo!
Chris: Another life, another hangout.
Sonic: Speaking of Geo Guy, ya' ready for the big day tomorrow, despite us still going to school?
Chris: Hell yeah, Sonic! I'm not lying around to just chill. I'm ready for manhood to come. 13 birthdays, and I'm ready for manhood. You ready for manhood, Sonic?
Sonic: Well, Chris, that would calculate between 99.9% of fun and 1.0% boredom. It would take that much effort to make our 12-year old stuff lives complete.
Chris: Positive. Imagine if you're a lumberjack...
Sonic: Well...
Chris: (cont.) ...and have all of that golden flapjacks!
Sonic: Deal!
Pancake Guy: (disappointed) And to think that I'm the best at delivering waffles.
Chris: Welcome to the world of sex and violence.
(Disclaimer)
(theme song plays)
[Chris slowly rises behind the kitchen counter, followed by Sonic, who also rises slowly. They both look around simultaneously, when suddenly, a black figure of Dr. Eggman--slowly rises behind them, followed by an ominous electric guitar riff and an evil smile on the figure.]
SONIC AND CHRIS: Ahhhhh!
DR. EGGMAN: Wait, stop! I just wanna punch you!
BLOO: Watch your back, Mac! He's gaining on--
BLOO AND MAC: Whoa!
TERRENCE: [punches the wall with his fist] Oooooh, I'm telling Mom!
BLOO: [runs around the couch with Mac while starting his sentence] Mac?
MAC: [answers] Yeah?
BLOO: Your brother...
MAC: Yeah?
BLOO: Is a heck of a...
MAC: Uh-huh?
BLOO: Big...
MAC: Right?
BLOO: Fat...
MAC: Yeah?
BLOO: Doofus.
MAC: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
TERRENCE: Shut up, you...
BLOO: Yeah?
TERRENCE: You...
BLOO: Come on!
TERRENCE: Dammit! You Bloofus! Heh ha heh ha!
BLOO: [stops running for what he heard] Bloofus?! Bloofus?
MAC: His name is Blooregard Q. Kazoo, and you know it, Terrence!
BLOO: Right, right, or Blooey, Bloo the Blue Dude, El Blooderino, or hey, how 'bout just Bloo? Heh! But come on, man, Bloofus? Heh! How stupid can you get?
TERRENCE: Look! No stupid imaginary friend of my stupid little brother is gonna tell me how stupid I am 'cause I know just how stupid I--
[Bloo and Mac look like they're about to break out laughing at Terrence calling himself stupid]
TERRENCE: SHUT UP!!! [jumps over the couch and tries to grab them both with his hands]
TERRENCE: Stupid, heh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Well, well, well. Lookee what I got here. It's Mr. Destructo and his evil pal from hell Breaky. Ha ha ha! Mom is gonna be so mad when she sees what you two have done.
BLOO: We haven't done anything.
TERRENCE: Oh, no? [holds Bloo to break the lamp] Breaky, how could you? No, Mr. Destructo! Don't do it! [holds Mac to knock CDs off the shelf]
MAC: Stop it, Terrence!
TERRENCE: But I'm not doing anything. It's... Mr. Destructo and Breaky. They’ve gone crazy! [Continues laughing while he holds Bloo and Mac to break things and spins them around. Bloo sees a vase on the top shelf, he joins in the laughter.]
BLOO: This rules! Breaky loves breaking! Break more, break more!
MAC: Bloo, no!
BLOO: [to Mac] Quiet, you! Terrence, the cabinet!
[Terrence throws Bloo at the top of the shelf Bloo grabs the vase with an evil smile on his face.]
MAC: Don't do it!
TERRENCE: Shut up! [to Bloo] Do it, do it!
BLOO: Sorry, Mac, I hate to break it to you, but... [throws the vase at Terrence’s head] ...your brother is a big, fat doofus.
MAC AND BLOO: Ah ha ha ha ha ha!/Whoo!/Oh, yeah!/Brilliant!/Oh, yeah! We won!
[Mac and Bloo continued laughing and dancing around, but then the front door opens with a shadow that reveals to be Mac and Terrence's mother with grocery bags. She looked at the broken furniture in the house.]
MAC’S MOTHER: [mad] Mac! Bloo!
MAC: Mom, it's not what you--
BLOO: Yeah, Terrence! He was the one--
TERRENCE: [pretending to whine] Mommy, Mommy! Mac and Bloo were MEAN TO ME!!!! [grabs his mother's waist] I was being a good boy looking after my sweet, little brother when all of a sudden his crazy, imaginary friend Bloo went insane and started to tear the house apart. I tried to stop him but when Mac joined in they started beating on me. If it wasn't for you coming home there's no telling what they would have done to me! Oh, thank you for saving me, Mommy!
MAC: What?!
BLOO: That is so not what happened! Terrence--
MAC’s MOTHER: [interrupts Bloo’s sentence] Is the oldest and is in charge of this house when I am not at home...
TERRENCE: Ha!
MAC’S MOTHER: ...and I expect him to act like the oldest and set a good example by telling the truth.
MAC AND BLOO: Ha!
TERRENCE: But, Mommy, I was telling the--
MAC’S MOTHER: Terrence, you expect me to believe that a 13-year-old boy was overpowered by an 8-year-old and his cute little imaginary friend?
BLOO: Yeah. Mac's a wimp.
MAC: And Bloo's spineless.
[Bloo wiggles his body.]
TERRENCE: But, Mom...
MAC’S MOTHER: [sighs] Terrence, I've had a long day, and I'm too tired to deal with your made-up sob stories. Just go to your room.
[Terrence just goes to his room angrily smoking a cigarette and drinking beer, while Mac and Bloo laugh, say “mama”, tease and make faces at him.]
MAC’S MOTHER: [off-screen] Mac, Bloo, that's enough.
MAC: But--
BLOO: Terrence--
MAC’S MOTHER: [interrupts Bloo’s sentence again] Is not the only one at fault here. I'm fed up with the three of you always fighting. We need to talk.
BLOO: Okay, sure. Come on, Mac.
MAC’S MOTHER: No, Bloo. I need to talk to Mac alone.
[Mac looks guilty.]
BLOO: It's okay, Mac, I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere
[Mac goes in his room with his mother. Bloo stands there and changes his face to a sad look.]
=== Scene 2: Mac's Bedroom ===
MAC’S MOTHER: Mac, now you know how tired I am of you three fighting.
MAC: But it was Terrence. He always picks on me and treats me like a baby.
MAC’S MOTHER: And why do you think he does that?
MAC: ’Cause he's a jerk?
MAC’S MOTHER: Well, yes, but can you think of any other reasons?
MAC: Uhh....
MAC’S MOTHER: Maybe because of Bloo?
MAC: Bloo? Why?
MAC’S MOTHER: Because, Mac, you're 8 years old and you still have your imaginary friend.
MAC: So what? Lots of kids have imaginary friends. You see them every day on the streets or in the stores. You even had one when you were little.
MAC’S MOTHER: Yes, when I was little, but by the time that I was your age, I didn't need my imaginary friend anymore.
MAC: What are you saying?
[Bloo is hearing the conversation outside the door.]
MAC’S MOTHER: I think it's time you got rid of Bloo.
MAC: What?!
MAC’S MOTHER: I'm sorry, Mac, I just think it's time. You need to grow up and be a big boy, and say goodbye to Bloo.
MAC: But, Mom, it's not fair. We're best friends. we'll be good. I-I-I'll keep him locked in my room. Mom, PLEASE!
MAC’S MOTHER: Mac, no! Stop it! This isn't about you're being good or keeping Bloo locked up. The fact is, you're a big boy now, and you’re too old for him.
MAC: But--
MAC’S MOTHER: My decision is final, you have got to get rid of Bloo. I'm sorry, Mac. [opens the door and leaves as a shocked Bloo falls on the floor] Oh, sorry, Bloo.
TERRENCE: [shoots a spitball at Bloo's eye and laughs evilly] Hasta la bye-bye.
[The screen fades to black until different TV channels are being switched through.]
PHINEAS: I know what we are gonna do today!
[The channel switches.]
BOY: Go on, boy, get outta here!
[Channel switches again.]
SALESMAN: And just like that, it's gone!
[Channel switch.]
SPEAKER: Featuring such Blues classics as "Feelin' Blue", "Gettin' rid of the Blues" and "No one wants the Blues".
[The scene switches to Bloo who's been swapping the channels.]
[Bloo switches channels to stop at a sitcom.]
WOMAN: Are you damn alone?
[Bloo switches channels now faster until it reaches a documentary.]
NARRATOR: The Grand Canyon, spectacular, beautiful and mystifying. And one of the deepest, deepest, deepest depressions the world has ever known.
[Bloo switches channels again, hears "Imaginary Friends" and switches back to that channel.]
FRANKIE: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends is a wonderful, funderful imagination habitation. We provide food, shelter and a warm heart for imaginary friends, looking for a place to call home. So if you know of or have an imaginary friend that desperately needs a home, then come down to Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, where good ideas are not forgotten.
[The scene switches from the TV clip to the actual house.]
=== Scene 3: Foster's Front Yard ===
[The morning has come as a gentle, early fall breeze blows some leaves across the old sidewalk that ran in front of the huge mansion that Bloo saw on TV. Bloo was taking Mac to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.]
BLOO: This is the place I was telling you about. Pretty cool, huh?
MAC: [looks at the house through the fence] I...I don't know, Bloo. Are you sure?
BLOO: Totally! The commercial said it was some fantastical, magical place for imaginary friends who need a place to crash, hang out and do stuff. It's gonna be great as hell!
[They walk all the way to the doorstep and Bloo knocks on the front door.]
MAC: I guess you're right, but still.
BLOO: Mac, I know you're worried, but listen. With me living here, Mom will be happy, Terrence will leave you alone, and you can visit me every day. It's perfect! Our problems are solved!
[The door opens and it appears to be a rabbit, wearing a suit, a monocle on his left eye, and a top hat.]
MR. HERRIMAN: [tips his hat] Good day, gentlemen. How may I be at assistance?
BLOO: Cool. A bunny butler. Well--
MR. HERRIMAN: My good man, I will have you know that I am Mr. Herriman, the head of business affairs at this facility, and in no way a butler or any other member of the servant trade. Now, if you will please state your business.
MAC: Uh, uh, uh, uh...
MR. HERRIMAN: [about to close the door] Oh, very well. As I have more important issues to attend to than dealing with an indecisive child, I shall bid you both good day.
=== Scene 4: Foster's Foyer ===
[Bloo and Mac enter the floyer.]
BLOO: Wait a minute!
MR. HERRIMAN: My good man!
BLOO: Please, Mr. Rabbit Man.
MR. HERRIMAN: Herriman.
BLOO: Please, Mr. Herriman, my boy here, his name is Mac and he has the worst life ever! I tell ya, it's so vile and horrible, I can't even begin to explain. But I'll try.
MAC: What?!
BLOO: You see, this poor, bastard, lives all alone with me, his mother and his stupid ass brother in this trashy, run down dump of an apartment. It's got no electricity or running water. Man, oh man, does it damn stink. No, I mean it, it really does. [Mr. Herriman stares at Bloo with his arms crossed] It's got this foul disgusting smell that'll make you sick.
MAC: Na-ah.
BLOO: And oh yes, his brother is a total jerk, who's like eight feet tall, weights three-hundred pounds and has no brain. So he's like the foul bully monster that beats up wimpy little Mac all the time. And there is never anyone home to stop him, 'cause his mom works like fifteen jobs every day of the week, including weekends. Not to mention that she doesn't get home until midnight, so yeah, each and every day Mac is killed dead by his big stupid brother.
MAC: What?
BLOO: Yeah, then I thought I could win some money in that talent show.
(The cutaway gag is shown at the talent show where an announcer is seen giving out the results)
ANNOUNCER: And the grand prize goes to the Von Trapp Family singers!
BLOO: (holding a tuba) Oh, that is bull- (gets interrupted by the audience applauding)
(End of cutaway gag)
BLOO: And, all this miserable kid has to forward to in his crummy little life, is me. His best buddy Bloo. But get this: His mother has said that he is too old for an imaginary friend. And he must get rid of me. Can you believe it? So here I am on my knees.
MAC: Uh-uh.
BLOO: What? [Mac points to Bloo's knees as Bloo is standing up] Oh. [back to Mr. Herriman, while getting down on his knees and Mac facepalms] So here I am on my knees, at your mercy, kind sir. So if only you can find it in your big bunny heart to open up your beautiful and spacious home to this poor, rejected, hated and unwanted imaginary friend, maybe, just maybe I wouldn't be so... blue.
[Mr. Herriman stares at Bloo again.]
MAC: I'm sorry, sir. He's crazy, we'll be on our-
MR. HERRIMAN: Very well. I shall arrange a tour for you.
BLOO AND MAC: What?
[Mr. Herriman hops towards a speaker.]
MR. HERRIMAN: Ms. Frances, Ms. Frances, your presence is requested in the foyer. There are two gentlemen who are in need of a tour.
== Act 2 ==
=== Scene 4: Foster's Foyer (Part 2) ===
MR. HERRIMAN: Ms. Franc--
FRANKIE: [over the speaker] I'M COMING!!!! Sheesh!!
MR. HERRIMAN: She will be with you a momentarily.
[Herriman hops away, we see a bunch of imaginary friends walk around in the foyer.]
BLOO: [to Mac] Well?
MAC: It's okay.
[He looked away and crossed his arms, worrying Bloo and…but he soon found out it was just a joke when Mac grinned. So Bloo gave him a friendly punch on the arm. A teenage red haired girl appears with a giant green slime creature, George Mucus.]
FRANKIE: Now you know why the hell you're not supposed to run around with Scissors? Scissors? Scissors?
[A pair of legged scissors with small feet, two eyes and the blades as the moutht came running in.]
SCISSORS: Yeah?
FRANKIE: Scissors, what do you say?
SCISSORS: I'm sorry.
FRANKIE: Okay, go play. [they run] Don't run! Whatever that bunny says is wrong. The name's not Frances, It's Frankie.
BLOO: I'm Bloo and this is my boy Mac.
FRANKIE: Hey Bloo. Hey Mac.
MAC: Hi.
FRANKIE: So, I guess you guys wanna have a tour of the place?
BLOO: Yeah
MAC: Please.
FRANKIE: Cool, follow me. Foster's was founded in--
MR. HERRIMAN: [over the speaker] Ms. Frances, Ms. Frances. Your presence is requested in the third floor sleeping quarters.
FRANKIE: I'm busy! What’s the problem!!!?
MR. HERRIMAN: [over the speaker] It is Duchess. She-
DUCHESS: [over the speaker in a german accent] Give me that. Frankie? Frankie?! GET UP HERE NOW!!!
FRANKIE: Aww man, one of these days. [turns to Bloo and Mac] Sorry, guys, her royal majesty calls. But don't worry, I'll get someone to show you around. Hold on a sec. [calls somebody] Wilt and SpongeBob? Tour please! Or I will slap your penises! I'm really sorry, guys. Wilt will take care of you, but I'll try to meet up with you at the end of the tour, okay?
DUCHESS: [over the speaker] FRANKIEEE!!!! MY BREAST IMPLANTS!!!
FRANKIE: COMING!!!
[Frankie goes upstairs, angrily.]
WILT: [to someone] I'm sorry, is that okay? You sure? All right. Okay. Sorry, though. Hey, how ya doin’? Name's Wilt.
SPONGEBOB: And i'm SpongeBob.
[Mac and Bloo stare at him. Wilt is still standing there with a smile and he blinks his normal right eye for a long silence.]
WILT: Yo, guys? Hello?
[Mac and Bloo are still staring.]
WILT: Oh, okay, I get it. It's cool, it's cool. I know I'm all broken with a wonky eye and the stubby arm. Probably freaks you out, huh? But don't sweat it, I'll get someone else to—
BLOO AND MAC: You're tall.
SPONGEBOB: Oh. Well, yeah. I guess.
BLOO: You should play basketball.
WILT: Oh, yeah? Well, um, yeah. I used to, um, you know, whatever. Hey, how about that tour, huh? Great, let's go!
[Music starts playing and we see them in different rooms]
=== Scene 5: Various Rooms ===
WILT: Waiting room, sitting Room, living room, parlor. Ooh. Sorry, sorry. I just stopped. Is that okay? Okay. Check this out. [points to the picture of Madame Foster] This is Madame Foster. Man, I tell ya, if it wasn't for this little lady, none of us would even be here, ‘cause you see, she's the one who has the bright idea to open up our own home and give us forgotten imaginary friends a second chance. I mean, how cool is that?
ERIC CARTMAN: She rules.
STAN MARSH: She's awesome.
PATRICK STAR: She's old.
SPONGEBOB: Hey Patrick!
WILT: Hallways, hallways, hallways, halt. Sorry I keep stopping, but I gotta point this out, okay? This is Mr. Herriman's office and trust me, you don’t ever, ever, ever want to get sent here.
[While Wilt explains, the spanking noise can be heard in Mr. Herriman’s office.]
PATRICK STAR: [comes out after he got spanked by Mr. Herriman] I'll say.
ERIC CARTMAN: What the- (bleeped by an airhorn)
[The tour continues.]
WILT: Washroom, bathroom, powder room, laundry.
[But as Sockajewea was carrying a huge basket of dirty laundry, he accidentally dropped a sock, and Wilt wasn't going to let that sock go unaccounted for. So Wilt picked up the sock, curled it into a ball and started doing tricks with it as if it was actually a basketball, and then he soon made a trick shot and it landed back in the same basket just before Sockajewea left the room. And this certainly impressed Mac and Bloo.]
[The tour continues.]
WILT: Dining room, tea room, [straining] pantry, kitchen.
[They were making their way to the next part of the house, but were stopped by what had to have been another weird imaginary friend they've seen today. This one is shape as a bird with green palm tree hair, blue airplane body, red beak, two eyes with eye lashes and orange bird feet. Female.]
COCO: Coco?
MAC: Uhh, no thanks.
COCO: Coco?
BLOO: Yes.
COCO: Coco?
BLOO: Yes.
COCO: Coco?
BLOO: Yes.
COCO: Coco?
BLOO: Yes.
COCO: Coco?
BLOO: [getting annoyed] Yes.
COCO: Coco?
BLOO: Yes, please. With marshmallows.
WILT: No, Bloo. No. This is Coco. She wasn't asking if you wanted cocoa. She-- Uh, all she says is “coco”.
BLOO: Oh. Well, then what is she saying?
WILT: Do you want any juice?
[A timpani being struck was heard. The tour continues, now with the addition of Coco.]
WILT: Hallways, hallways, always, [tired] hallways.
[Mac fell behind as he had to stop and tie his shoes… but as his guard was down, Mac could've sworn he heard heavy breathing…most likely from a huge beast. So when Mac finished tying his laces, he looked back in fear, only to find nothing and no one there. He walks back to the group as the unknown beast was watching him from behind.]
WILT: Music room, play room, rumpus room, arcade.
[Mac and Bloo stare at the games.]
WILT: [grabs Mac with his hand] Come on.
COCO: [grabs Bloo with her beak] Coco.
SHREK: OH HELLO THERE! Shrek here! Can I join you?
SPONGEBOB: Yes!
[While they leave to continue the tour, the figure sneaks past the TV screen to keep spying on Mac.]
WILT: Bedrooms, bedrooms, bedrooms, bedro--
[They stumble into Duchess' room where Frankie was hit by towels.]
DUCHESS: [throws towels at Frankie] No, no, no! This is unacceptable! [lowers a towel down to reveal her disgusting elephant face] I will not stand for my good linens to be washed with everyone else’s dirty laundry. I have said this time and time again, wash in imported water only. I don't care if you have to run a pipe from the swiss alps. Just do it, do it, do it! [to Wilt, Mac, Bloo and Coco] What do you want? Get out!!! Get out!!! GET OUT!!!
[They quickly close the door.]
WILT: That is Duchess. She thinks she's the best idea ever though of. But if you ask me, she's one of the worst. [gives them a thumbs-down]
ERIC CARTMAN: She's gross.
STAN MARSH: She's ugly.
PATRICK STAR: She's evil.
MR. HERRIMAN: She is indeed.
[Mr. Herriman couldn't help but quietly add his opinion about Duchess with Patrick. But again, Mac felt that queasy feeling that they were being watched, but when he looked, he found nothing again.]
MAC: Hey, Wilt. Speaking of evil, are there any monsters here?
BLOO: Monsters? What are you crazy, Mac? There aren't any--
WILT: Well...
=== Scene 6: Foster's Back Yard Edit ===
[The scene switches to them being outside in front of a giant locked up cage.]
WILT: They're called Extremeasauruses. These vicious and destructive imaginary friends are created by jerky teenage boys. We gotta keep ‘em locked up, ‘cause, boy, are they nasty. So, be careful.
[With that, they were about to walk away from the cage to head back into the house, but a monstrous tentacle bade out of giant metal balls managed to slip through the bars of the one small window while their backs were turned, and it was aiming for Mac, who is being grabbed by the Extremeasaur in the cage.]
MAC: Heeeelp!
BLOO: Mac!
MAC: Aaaahhhaa-Ahhhhaa-AAAhhhhaa...!!!!
WILT: [jumping around in place to panic] I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but that is definitely NOT okay!
COCO: [running back and forth] Coco-Coco-Coco-Coco-Coco-Coco-Coco-Coco!
[Mac sees someone coming, charging like a bull in front of him. He was violet with huge horns, sharp fangs and small claws. with a demon tail.]
MAC: M-M-Monster!
[The beast roars and hits the cage with his horns. The Extremeasaur lets go of Mac as he falls, but the beast catches him as he cradles Mac and starts sobbing.]
EDUARDO: [sobbing] El chico muerto!
BLOO: [punches the monster's boots] Let him go, you big stupid monster!
EDUARDO: [runs away from Bloo] Aaaah, I no monstro!
BLOO: Wait, stop! I just wanna punch you!
[Bloo begins chasing the beast around.]
WILT: No, Bloo, no! It's okay! It's okay.
EDUARDO: [while running, speaking in spanish] El hombre azul es loco!
REN: I'm Ren! And this is my stupid eediot, Stimpy!
COCO: Coco?
EDUARDO: Why?
COCO: Coco coco coco.
EDUARDO: No!
COCO: Coco coco coco.
REN: You eediot!
COCO: Coco co. Coco. Coco.
EDUARDO: [understands] Sí.
COCO: Coco coco coco coco co.
EDUARDO: [understands again] Sí.
COCO: Coco coco coco coco coco co, co?
[The beast calmy stops running and thanks Coco.]
EDUARDO: Uh, sí. Gracias, Coco. Usted tiene una manera con palabras.
[He puts Mac back down on the ground and smiles.]
SPONGEBOB: Good job, Coco. You sure have a way with words.
[Bloo bites the monster, who then runs around and screams.]
MAC: Bloo, stop! I think he's cool.
EDUARDO: [latin accent] Sí, sí, I cool, I cool. The little boy gets thrown around and around. And oh, it's so scary. I uh, you see, tried to help. Please little crazy blue man, I'm no monster. I am good guy. I am friend.
BLOO: [with his teeth still biting] Fwwend?
EDUARDO: [whimpers] Sí.
WILT: Yes, that's what we've been trying' to tell you. Mac, Bloo, this is Eduardo. And he's one of the sweetest and kindest friends we've got here at Foster’s. He wouldn't hurt a fly.
EDUARDO: Sí. And I am too scared of them anyway.
MAC: Well, why were you being all sneaky, and hiding from us all day?
REN AND STIMPY: [nervously] I uh. I am, how do you say- scared of the little kid. And well, I was uh, afraid you would not like me. And so I hide.
MAC: Not like you? You're crazy. You saved me! You're a hero, Eduardo.
EDUARDO: Hero?
SHREK: See? Friends. We're all friends.[Bloo lets go of Ed's fur] And speaking of friends, damn, you should see all the kinds of friends we've got here at Foster’s!
THE SIMPSONS: WUBBA! (5x)
BART SIMPSON: CUZ IF YOU WUBBA ME THEN I WILL WUBBA YOU!
THE SIMPSONS: IF YOU WUBBA ME THEN I WILL WUBBA YOU!
=== Scene 7: Various Rooms / Foster’s Foyer ===
[The tour continues with Eduardo and Ren and Stimpy joining them, Wilt leads them to horse stables.]
WILT: There's friends with horns. With wings. With horns and wings. With horns and wings that talk.
ALICORN: Hey, Wilt.
WILT: [hands her some hay to eat] Hey.
ALICORN: Thanks.
SHREK: Simple ones, stealthy ones, two in ones, unimaginative ones. [An Imaginary friend resembling Mojo Jojo from The Powerpuff Girls appears on screen.] Some kids aren't that creative, so they just copy what they see on TV. What you gonna do? Furry, fuzzy, fluffy, funky. [Tries not to smell Sloppy Moe.] Oh man, whooo. Big, small, young, old.
MR. HERRIMAN: [offended] Why, I never.
SPONGEBOB: Happy, sad, good, bad.
DUCHESS: [also offended] Well, I never.
BLOO: And don't forget, [refers to Coco] silly, [refers to Eduardo] nervous, [refers to Wilt] helpful.
MAC: And now, [refers to Bloo] blue.
BLOO: You mean-?
MAC: Yeah. You can stay.
[With that, Bloo started jumping around and cheering like an excited child; eventually, he’s even tackling Mac to the ground.]
BLOO: Whooohoo! Yeah haha, yeah whoo, all right, yes, yah, yah, yah, yah, yah, yah yeeaah! This is so awesome!
[Coco starts running around and clucks happily, but in between she would sit down like a chicken, and giant, plastic Colorful easter eggs would pop out from underneath.]
COCO: Coco coco coco coco coco! COCO! Coco coco coco coco coco! Coco! COCO!
BLOO: Wow.
MAC: What's she doing?
WILT: Whenever she gets excited, she lays these eggs. [scoops an egg up and tosses one to Mac] Open it up, there's a prize inside! [when Mac pops it open and conveniently, a new vase came out] Hey, a Ming bust, that's a new one.
MAC: Wow, thanks, Coco.
COCO: [rolls three more eggs up to Mac] Coco.
BLOO: This place is crazy, I love it!
FRANKIE: Glad to hear it. I guess you dug the tour? Pretty cool, huh?
BLOO: The coolest! This place is perfect.
MAC: Yeah. It's just like Bloo said. With him living here, my mom will be happy, Terrence will leave me alone, and I can visit him every day! Our problems are solved!
FRANKIE: Well, um. There is one little problem.
MAC: What? Can't Bloo live here?
FRANKIE: Yes, but-
BLOO: Then there's no prob, I stay here and Mac comes to see me every day. Done deal.
FRANKIE: Umm, Mac, Bloo. Foster’s is a foster home. It's not a boarding house. If you leave Bloo here, you can't come see him, because he won't be yours anymore.
MAC: WHAT?
FRANKIE: He will be put up for adoption, like everybody else here.
BLOO: ADOPTION?
SHREK: Yeah. For one reason or another, we've all been given up by our creators, and as much as we all living here, what we really want is to be adopted by a new kid who needs an imaginary friend.
BART SIMPSON: HEY! WUBBA MAN!
HOMER SIMPSON: BART!
BART SIMPSON: AH!
BLOO: Well, then forget it. As cool as this place is, adoption's not an option. Come on, Mac, let's go.
MAC: Wait.
BLOO: What?! Come on, Mac, adoption?
MAC: [leaves with the Coco-eggs] I know, but what else can I do? Mom said-
BLOO: But-
MAC: But don't worry, I'm not giving you up. Just stay here so I can think of a better idea. If I come back tomorrow-
FRANKIE: He's still yours, but if a kid shows up and wants him, and you're not here, he will be adopted.
MAC: Okay.
BLOO: Okay? OKAY?!
MAC: Don't worry, I will be here. [Bloo holds out his arms for a hug] A hug? I umm. I got these uhh, Sorry. [leaves] I'll be back. I promise!
MR. HERRIMAN: [shuts the front door] I'll be back. Hmpf. If I had a carrot for every time I heard that, I'd be a very fat rabbit. But don't worry, Master Bloo, you look like a fine imaginary friend and will most certainly be snatched up by a new child in no time.
[Bloo walks up to the nearest front window with sorrow to glance out and watches as Mac left, and the giant metal gates closed itself.]
[We'll be right back meme plays, and goes to a commercial break.]
== Act 3 ==
=== Scene 8: Mac's Apartment ===
[We see Terrence in the dark, waiting for Mac to get home. The door opens.]
TERRENCE: You are so busted. Coming home late, trying to get me in trouble? Well, your little plan didn't work. Mom's not home yet. [each time he calls Mac 'stupid', he gives Mac a good whack on the back of his head, only for Mac to ignore him as they headed for his room] Where were you anyway? Stupid. What're those stupid eggs? Stupid. Where’s that stupid little friend of yours? Stupid. Mom told you to get rid of him. Ohh boy, if you didn’t, you gonna be sooo bus--
MAC: [furiously snaps] I was nowhere, they're nothing and I took care of it! HAPPY??!!
[Terrence looks puzzled by Mac's response while Mac was in his dark room, he stomped his way over to his closet to put the Coco-eggs down somewhere safe, and then he stomped over to his bunk of the bed while yanking the covers over him. And Mac couldn't help but take a sorrowful glance at the single picture of Bloo.]
=== Scene 9: Bloo's Room / Mac's Bedroom Edit ===
[The scene zooms into a photo of Bloo and then switches to Foster’s.]
SHREK: Well, this is it. Make yourself a home.
[Wilt, Eduardo and Coco enter the room, followed by Bloo. He looks around and puts his bed on the floor.]
WILT: Oh. I'm sorry. Um. Okay. Um. Here, take my bunk. [Bloo stood up from his bed while he hopped up onto it with silence. And he was about to open his mouth to ask about where Wilt would sleep.] No, no I don't wanna hear it. It's totally cool. I'll take the floor, no problem. [Wilt goes under the bed and sticks his feet out] This is awesome!
[Bloo just lays there, the crunching of Coco tamping down her nest definitely caught his attention. But after Coco finally stopped tamping, Eduardo then laid down in his top bunk, and being the gargantuan monster he is, the mattress bent down half way due to his weight. And then Eduardo leaned over to look down at Bloo, so he started speaking softly in spanish.]
EDUARDO: Buenos noches, Azul. No te pero compre, su amigo degrecha.
COCO: Coco. Cocococo coco. Cocococo cocococo co.
[Bloo didn’t understand what they both said.]
SPONGEBOB: Heh, they said good night, Bloo. [pats Bloo’s head] And don't worry, Mac's coming back.
[It wasn't all sunshine for Mac that night either as he turned on to his side, and Terrence was shooting and spitting spitballs through a straw and on to Mac's face. But Mac wasn't the only one getting hit and having trouble sleeping. Bloo had trouble sleeping, too, But before he knew it, he was hit smack-dab in the head so hard, he was even knocked out of bed. Luckily, Bloo wasn't hurt, just a little temporarily confused as he picked up the object that was actually a red Coco-egg. He placed it onto the bed as he hopped back up, and he was eager to find out what Coco laid for him. Turns out, it was a picture frame of Mac, and that made Bloo looks up and gives Coco a questioning look; only for her to smile at him before going back to sleep. Bloo couldn't help but smile, especially as he places the picture on the nightstand.]
=== Scene 10: Foster's Foyer / Various Rooms Edit ===
[The next day, Mr. Herriman stands in the foyer next to a very wealthy looking couple.]
MR. HERRIMAN: Ms. Frances, Ms. Frances. Your presence is requested in the foyer. There is a family here that wishes to adopt.
VARIOUS IFS: Adopt? Adopt? Adopt?
WILT: [hears "adopt" while screwing in a light bulb into the chandelier] Adoption? Oh no, Bloo!
EDUARDO: [stops vacuuming and runs out of a bedroom] Bloo!
COCO: [stops washing the dishes, surprised] Coco!
BLOO: Adoption?! Lock the doors, seal all the windows, lock down all the exits, stops the oven. Whoa!
[Bloo is taken away by a stampede of imaginary friends]
BLOO: This is worse than that Diff'rent Strokes episode where Arnold and Dudley get sexually molested by the guy who owns the bike shop.
[cutaway to said episode]
Guy Who Owns the Bike Shop: Alright, now, I want you boys to scream real loud at my ass.
[cut to Mr. Herriman]
MR. HERRIMAN: [over the speaker] Ms. France-
FRANKIE: COMING!!! I'M COMING!!!
[As all of the imaginary friends run out of the hallway, Wilt came to the bathroom to find Bloo inside but he wasn't there.]
WILT: Bloo? Bloo!
[The crowd of imaginary friends gathers in the foyer.]
MR. HERRIMAN: She will be here momentarily. Ah, there she is.
FRANKIE: Sorry! Sorry, I got stuck in traffic. How can I help you?
MILLIONAIRE: My daughter is in need of an imaginary friend.
MILLIONAIRE’S WIFE: Yes, and whenever she tried to create one of her own, she gets a headache!
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Nuh-uh. Shut the hell up, Mom! I just think I shouldn't waste my time making one up when I can just buy one.
FRANKIE: Well, having an imaginary friend is not like buying a toy. It's a big respon-
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Ya-ya whatever. Just get me a friend, okay?! And don't give me a cheap one either. I want the best one you got. YOU GOT IT?!
FRANKIE: [threateningly] Ohh, you're gonna get screwed.
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: [shouts] WHAT?!
FRANKIE: Oh nothing. Nothing.
MILLIONAIRE: So, miss, do you have a friend for my precious little sweetie or what?
FRANKIE: Well, uhm. Look, at heart, most of our friends are really nice and your kid is a real... Look, how am I gonna put this. Friendship is- no that's not it. Listen, to be honest, I really don't think we have a-
DUCHESS: [getting out of the crowd] Out of my way, out of my way, out of my way!
FRANKIE: Yes, yes! We have the perfect friend for you, precious little sweetums.
[Duchess appears in the front of the family.]
DUCHESS: So I heard you were looking for an imaginary friend of the highest quality. Well, look no further for perfection has arrived. Presenting... [to Frankie] Ah-hem.
FRANKIE: [introduces Duchess with bore and anger] Presenting her Royal Duchess Diamond Persnickety the first last and only.
KYLE BROFLOVSKI: Thank goodness.
DUCHESS: [She approaches Bloo.] My papers.
MILLIONAIRE: Hmm, a pedigree imaginary friend.
MILLIONAIRE’S WIFE: Very valuable.
DUCHESS: [stops them] Enough about me. Tell me about yourselves. And you income.
FRANKIE: Look at 'em, they're stinking rich. Come on, let's do all the paperwork.
[She pulls the parents into Mr. Herriman's office with anticipation to get rid of Duchess; speaking of the hag of an imaginary friend, she followed them to make sure the papers would be filled out.]
FRANKIE: [with an altered voice, mocking English accent] Mr. Herriman, Mr. Herriman, your presence is requested in your office.
MR. HERRIMAN: Hm? Oh, yes.
[All imaginary friends leave the foyer, exposing Bloo and leaving him alone with the Millionaire's daughter.]
BLOO: Ehm, uh, guys? Oh.
[She approaches Bloo with an evil grin.]
BLOO: Uhm, nice girl, cute girl. Stay away now. Go on, shoo, shoo.
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: [screaming] Shut up! I like you, you’re cute, I'm gonna adopt you, you’re gonna be my best friend and I'm gonna call you Tiffany! You got that, Tiffany?!
BLOO: Yes. No. What? Uhm uh. AAAAAAAAHHH!!
[Bloo's call for help was soon answered when a purple blur swooped him up and away, and disappeared with him in the blink of an eye. But the girl wasn't giving up that easily.]
=== Scene 11: Various Rooms Edit ===
[Music starts playing and the chase begins, we see Eduardo running away with Bloo. Eduardo held him in his arms and he was sprinting down the halls…but he also didn't look where he was going, so he soon crashed his giant horns into a double-layer door. And that was when the bottom half of the door opened and stole Bloo from Eduardo. But when he did, Eduardo got angry and broke his horns free, only to crash into the wall again.]
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Get back here with my Tiffany!
[We see Wilt with Bloo running away from the girl. Coco trips Wilt and takes Bloo.]
[We see Wilt with Bloo running away from the girl, he tricked her by turning on a sharp corner and into another hall, but he wasn't quick enough for Coco as she raised a leg and tripped him; causing him to tumble like a rolling ball with Bloo luckily kept safe in his one arm. And as Wilt was so dazed, he was seeing bacon and eggs, Coco was easily able to take Bloo from him and place him on the back of her plane body and run off with him. But it was then that girl came running in.]
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: [to Wilt] Where is my Tiffany, you freak?!
[Eduardo takes Bloo away from Coco, followed by a long jump from Wilt, who takes Bloo back again, now dribbling him like a basketball.]
WILT: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: [screaming] I'll have my friend, you broken big tall!
[They run past each other.]
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: No fair!
[Coco takes Bloo away from Wilt who failed to stop in front of her, sliding down the hallway. Coco then falls down the stairs, and Eduardo was downstairs on the bottom. But Eduardo didn't catch Coco, he only caught Bloo so he could once again run off with him. And poor Coco landed face-first on the floor. But Eduardo wasn't alone at the bottom of the stairs]
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Rawr!
STIMPY: Ahh! I don’t like that! I don’t like that!
[Eduardo runs away from the girl. Wilt stretches his arm and takes Bloo away.]
WILT: [balances Bloo like a ball on his fingertip, with his teeth grinned] Sorry, sorry, sorry.
[Wilt is then again chased by the girl, Eduardo and Coco, Bloo switches between them a lot. They get into an elevator and when getting out of it, with Eduardo rubbing his own head.]
WILT: Sorry!
[The scene is followed by a typical chasing scene, where everyone runs through different doors in different constellations. Jackie Khones just stands outside the doors with a cup of coffee, while Bloo, Coco, the girl, Wilt, and Eduardo pop their heads out and glare at him as he leaves. They continue running through the doors until Bloo comes out of a door, holding up the girl.]
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Hi, Tiffany.
BLOO: AAH!
[Wilt, Coco and Eduardo would chase them. But the three of them accidentally tumbled on top of each other when they tried to round a corner, so that left Bloo alone to deal with the girl…and he came up to a dead-end. The girl has him finally trapped.]
== Act 4 ==
=== Scene 12: Hallways ===
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Now I got you, my cute little Tiffany.
BLOO: [nervous] Ahahahaha. Guys, a little help here?
[We see Eduardo, Wilt and Coco arguing.]
WILT:: I'm sorry, shut up. No please, shut up please. Please shut up. I'm so- I'm sorry but please shut up. Okay, no, I'm sorry-
EDUARDO: Te callar te, callaté.
COCO: Coco coco coco co co co-
BLOO: Hey, guys, news flash, you're all fighting about the same thing. So why don't you all shut up AND HELP ME!?!
WILT: Bloo, okay, I'm sorry to say this, but this isn't any of your business okay? I'm trying to save you from being adopted.
EDUARDO: Sí, me too.
COCO: Co co co!
SHREK: You mean-
EDUARDO: Sí.
SHREK: -and you?
COCO: Coco.
[All three start laughing.]
WILT: Bloo, Bloo, you'll never guess what happened. All day we've been trying to keep you from being adopted and now we were all just fighting about who would save you from being adopted! Isn't that funny?
[Bloo was being sarcastic the whole time because now he was helpless because he is in the millionaire’s daughter's grasp as she carried him away downstairs.]
BLOO: Hilarious. You were trying to do the same thing, that's so amazing. Talk about irony. Hey, now that I think of it, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, would you mind SAVING ME FROM BEING ADOPTED?!
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Shut up, Tiffany!
=== Scene 13: Herriman's Office ===
MR. HERRIMAN: Very well, if you just sign here, Duchess will be all yours.
FRANKIE: Yes!
DUCHESS: Yes, indeed. For you making a very wise investment. As I am a work of art.
[The millionaire's daughter appears with Bloo.]
MILLIONAIRE: Why, hello, sweetums. Meet your new imaginary friend.
MILLIONAIRE’S WIFE Duchess.
[Duchess smiles to make a good first impression.]
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: [off-screen] Eww, she's ugly I hate her! [her sudden reaction to Duchess not only surprised Duchess, but also made Frankie try to stifle laugh.] I want this one!
BLOO: [tries to lie] No, you don't. I smell!
WILT: [comes in the office] Yeah, yeah, he smells, really, really bad. Whooh, he's a stinky, stinky man. [grabs Bloo and smells him] Peeehhhh-yew. [to Bloo] I'm so sorry.
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Nuh-uh! [grabs Bloo and sniffs him] Tiffany smells nice!
BLOO: Thank you, but, but I'm a vicious monster!
EDUARDO: Sí, vamos chica, vamos, he loco. [Eduardo acted as he let go of Bloo for him to bring out his teeth and claws as he lathed onto his upper-arm. But Eduardo wasn't hurt because of his thick fur and because he would be in a lot worse pain if Bloo was actually trying to hurt him.] Help me, help me I am being attacked by a vicious monstro!
BLOO: [with his teeth still biting Eduardo] Rawwwr. Rawwr.
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Look, stupid, you call this vicious?
COCO:[popping up from behind] Cocococococo! Co cocococo cococococo coco co cococo co co! Cococo cococo co CO CO!!
BLOO: Exactly!
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: [not understanding Coco] What? No I don't want any cocoa, I just want my Tiffany.
WILT, EDUARDO AND COCO: [get on their knees and start begging the girl to take one of them] No, take me! / Take me, take me!
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: No. [to Wilt] You're broken. [to Eduardo] You're a chicken, [to Coco] and you’re uh- a crazy chicken! I want this one.
MR. HERRIMAN: Very well.
WILT: Oh no!
EDUARDO: Oh no!
COCO: Coco!
SPONGEBOB: Oh no!
Kool-Aid Man: [jumps through the wall] OH YEAH!
FRANKIE: Okay, guys, that's enough. I'm really sorry. I know you all wanna help but this damn little girl here really wants Tiff- I mean Bloo and-
BLOO: And I guess it's true. Mac doesn't want me after all.
MAC: Shut up. Don't want you? What're you crazy?
BLOO: MAC!
FRANKIE: Oh, what do you know?
[Even as Bloo, he blew an 'in-your-face' raspberry at the bratty girl and then ran up to Mac. But the happy moment didn't last forever.]
BLOO: Do you have any idea what I've been through all day? Where were you?
MAC: School?
BLOO: Oh yeah.
WILT, EDUARDO AND COCO: [picks the duo of friends up, and they started chanting 'Mac's back!' while marching around.] Mac's back! Mac's back! Mac's back!
MR. HERRIMAN: [getting annoyed by the guys’ chanting and marching] Please. Stop. Please stop. Please stop.
FRANKIE: I'm sorry, sweetums, you see, Bloo was Mac's idea and since Mac's here, Bloo is no longer up for adoption. You can still have Duchess if you like. Come on, Duchess is great. Don't you want her? Take her. Take her, pleeeeaase take her.
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: NO! I hate her!
FRANKIE: So do I.
MILLIONAIRE: Come on, sweetums, maybe you can imagine your own friend, just like Tiffany.
MILLIONAIRE’S DAUGHTER: Shut up, Dad. You know thinking makes my head hurt.
MILLIONAIRE’S WIFE: Mine, too. Let's just get her a little pony.
[The family leaves. But neither Duchess nor Frankie could believe that she was so close to finally getting adopted.]
DUCHESS: This is unacceptable!
FRANKIE: I'll say! They almost took you!
DUCHESS: But that wonderful awfully little brat wanted that stupid little blue creep over me.
FRANKIE: Tell me about it. She ruined everything.
DUCHESS: And he ruined my one chance to get out of this dump once and for all.
FRANKIE: I know. It was a chance of a lifetime. I mean you could've been outta here forever!
DUCHESS: Well, I guess there is no accounting for taste. They obviously cannot appreciate a true piece of art, such as myself.
FRANKIE: Obviously not. And you sure are a piece of work.
DUCHESS: Thank you.
[Duchess leaves.]
FRANKIE: [mumbles] Yeah , you're welcome. [to Herriman] Can you believe it?
MR. HERRIMAN: Not in the slightest. Duchess is always a royal pain.
FRANKIE: No, no, not her. Mac. The comeback kid. I think this one is different. I don't think he's gonna abandon his friend.
[Frankie looks out the back window on the office to watch Mac and Bloo play a game of catch with a soccer ball with Wilt, Coco and Eduardo in the backyard.]
MR. HERRIMAN: Don't be so naive, Ms. Frances. It's unbecoming, You know as well as I that it is just a matter of time before young Master Mac tires of his beloved Bloo. At which time, his visits will cease. And Master Bloo will be placed in care of a new child, who will eventually tire of him as well.
FRANKIE: [scoff] Why do you always have to be so negative? I mean, come on. Look at that. They're absolutely inseparable. Plus, the guys are really taken to him, too.
MR. HERRIMAN: It's just a cruel fact of life, Ms. Frances. Every child tires of their imaginary friend eventually.
FRANKIE: Yours didn't.
[Mr. Herriman pauses writing from what Frankie said and says nothing. He continues writing after Frankie leaves his office.]
=== Scene 14: Foster's Front Yard / Sidewalk ===
[The day had gone by quicker than anyone thought, so now Bloo, Coco, Wilt and Eduardo were bidding Mac goodbye as he exited the front doors of Foster's.]
MAC: See ya!
BLOO: Same time tomorrow?
MAC: Yeah, 3 o'clock, right after school.
BLOO: Cool.
WILT: And don't worry, we'll keep him safe from any kids who might want him okay?
MAC: Awesome, thanks! See you guys tomorrow!
EDUARDO:  ¡Hasta mañana, Señor Mac! See you tomorrow, bye, Mac!
[The scene switch to Terrence, who was hiding in some bushes and was watching from across the street with shock that his little brother really had been lying.]
TERRENCE: I knew it. That creep didn't get rid of that blue jerk after all. He's soooo busted as hell.
DUCHESS: [from behind the bushes] So, you hate him, too?
TERRENCE: Huh, what the- Who's there?
DUCHESS: [reveals herself] A friend. An imaginary friend.
TERRENCE: [falls back] AHH!
DUCHESS: Do not be afraid.
TERRENCE: I'm not. It's just that... you're a damn freak! Ew!
DUCHESS: Look. I'm trying to help you.
TERRENCE: No thanks.
[Terrence walks away, but Duchess blocks his path]
DUCHESS: Don't you hate that little blue creep?
TERRENCE: Yeah but-
DUCHESS: Well, so do I.
TERRENCE: Oh man, you're so gross.
DUCHESS: Listen, you punk!
TERRENCE: [disgusted] Eww, you're touching me.
DUCHESS: [shakes him in anger] I'm not here to listen to your ignorant critique of high art! I want to make a proposition! I want you and I to hook up.
TERRENCE: Ugh. I think I'm gonna be sick.
DUCHESS: Hook up, and get rid of that little blue nuisance forever! I want that cute, happy, fun loving twerp wiped out and forgotten FOREVER! BUT- I can't pull it off without a vicious, mean, evil and terrible creep like you. So, will you help me, you big ass?
TERRENCE: Listen, Mac is my brother and Bloo is his best friend. As much as I dislike him like sexual harassment, I have never thought of such a foul, horrible and unthinkable crime. And you, you are disgusting. Hideous. And revolting for thinking such a thing. How did you do it? I was pretty proud of doing the doing the noogie wedgierino, but THIS, this is pure genius. Get rid of that all blue twerp once and for all. BRILLIANT! I'll be ho- no, [kneels] humble to assist you in any way possible. I'm at your service, Your Horrible Hideousness. [kisses Duchess hand]
DUCHESS: Call me Duchess.
=== Scene 15: Foster's Living Room ===
[The next day, we see Bloo standing in front of a clock, staring at it]
BLOO: [callback, in his thoughts] "Same time tomorrow?"
MAC: [callback, in his thoughts] "Yeah, three o'clock, right after school."
[Frankie enters the room.]
BLOO: Frankie, are these clocks right?
FRANKIE: No.
BLOO: [relieved] Oh.
FRANKIE: They're an hour slow. Hah, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Don't worry, Bloo. He'll be here, I'm sure of it. But I could be wrong. Naahh, I'm kidding. He's probably on his way right now.
=== Scene 16: Foster's Front Yard / Sidewalk ===
[Cut to Mac, running down the sidewalk, Terrence appears before him, with Terrence smoking and drinking beer.]
TERRENCE: Hey, bro, what do you know?
MAC: I uh nowhere, nothing. What are you doing here?
TERRENCE: Well, I thought I'd meet my sweet lil' brother and walk him home from school.
MAC: But, but-
TERRENCE: But what? You were going home, weren't cha?
MAC: Uhh-
TERRENCE: Good. Then let's GO.
[We'll be right back].
== Act 5 ==
=== Scene 17: Mac's Apartment / Bedroom ===
[Terrence is pushing Mac into their apartment.]
MAC: Let me go, Terrence, I need to go!
TERRENCE: Where? To that freaky weirdo house with all those freaky weirdos? Oh yeah, I know all about it. Imaginary friends up for adoption? [Terrence pulls Mac into his room and opens the closet door.] In fact, there is one there that I got my eye on. A cute, friendly, funny-
MAC: Bloo!
TERRENCE: How'd ya know?
[Terrence locks Mac up in his closet.]
MAC: Why, why are you doing this?!
TERRENCE: Cuz.....
MAC: What do you care if I still have an imaginary friend?
TERRENCE: Cuz.....
MAC: Well, your plan won't work, ‘cause they only adopt to nice kids, not jerks!
TERRENCE: Golly shocks, Mac, you think I'm a jerk? [whines] I just wanna adopt a friend that I can hug and squeeze [threatens] till he goes from blue to black and blue! I'll see you in hell! [Terrence laughs and goes away. Mac sits down, helplessly, covering his face.]
=== Scene 18: Foster’s Backyard / Mac’s Closet / Various Rooms ===
[The scene switches to Bloo, Wilt, Eduardo, Coco and Frankie who all stand in that one room with like, a hundred clocks. They are all waiting for Mac to arrive, then someone knocks the door. Terrence appears. While Duchess distracts everyone with the Extremeasaur, Terrence adopts Bloo, disguised as a well behaved kid. Meanwhile, Mac tries to get out of the closet and does so with the help of various things from inside the Coco-eggs and eventually succeeds. After everyone has left, Duchess frees the Extremeasaur revealing it was a giant ball with spider like chains on it.]
DUCHESS: Who's a vicious monster? Who's a good Extremeasaur? That's right. Who did a good job? Who's a good boy? That's right. Now come on, come on, Mommy has one more job for you. Yes, she does.
[Duchess laughs, the scene fades out.]
=== Scene 19: Foster's Foyer / Foster's Backyard ===
[In the next scene, Mac opens the front door to Foster’s. Everyone sits on the stairs in the foyer, desolated.]
MAC: BLOO!
FRANKIE: He's gone, Mac. He's--
EDUARDO: BEEN ADOPTED! [cries]
MAC: Yeah, yeah, I know, who cares? Now-
WILT: Mac! You heartless jerk! Sorry, sorry. NO I'M NOT sorry! Is that okay, that I'm not sorry?
MAC: It's fine. Now look, we gotta try and get him back cuz-
COCO: [interrupts Mac while squawking angrily and moves her head in a sassy manner] Co co cococococo. CO- CO. Coco coco co!
FRANKIE: You go, girl!
COCO: [still squawking angrily] Coo Co! Cocococococo. Coco coco coco. Cocococococococo coco coco co Coco co co. Coo Co! [a pause] COCO!
MAC: [after hearing what Coco was saying] I assume that had something to do with "If you gotta show up late, you have to accept the consequences and you friend may have been adopted and you can't get him back and responsibility and bla bla bla bla bla.” But that's just it! I'm late because the kid that adopted Bloo is a total jerk, ‘cause-
MR. HERRIMAN: [comes out of his office] Master Mac! The young man who adopted Bloo, is by no means a jerk. Ahem, excuse me, a juvenile delinquent. He was, in fact, one of the most well behaved children, I have ever had the pleasure dealing with. And furthermore, if you're going to come in late, you must accept that--
FRANKIE: We've already been through that.
MR. HERRIMAN: What? Who?
EDUARDO: Es Coco. She explained.
MR. HERRIMAN: And Master Mac understood her?
WILT: Well, yeah, he is a smart kid.
EDUARDO: Sí, he create Bloo. He has good head on shoulders.
MR. HERRIMAN: Most impressive. I guess the child is quite bright.
SHREK: Oh hell yeah.
EDUARDO: Sí.
COCO: Coco.
FRANKIE: Totally.
MR. HERRIMAN: Hm.
SPONGEBOB: Yap.
REN: Very good.
COCO: Coco!
FRANKIE: I'll say.
MR. HERRIMAN: Ah.
WILT: Sure is!
EDUARDO: It's true.
COCO: Coco.
FRANKIE: Right!
MR. HERRIMAN: Hm.
MAC: YES! Fine, we got it, I'm a super smart kid, okay? Great! But there is one thing I can't figure out. I know for a fact that Bloo was not adopted by a nice kid, but instead he was adopted by my horrible older brother, Terrence, who locked my in a closet all day, so he can come here and get Bloo. The problem is, Terrence is stupid. Not just stupid stupid, but really stupid. He'll never be able to devise a plan like this, so he must be working with somebody. Someone who could and would wanna get rid of Bloo once and for all. B-b-but what I can't figure out is who. Who would wanna get rid of Bloo?
[Everyone stands in front of the open, empty Extremeasaur cage.]
FRANKIE: DUCHESS!!!!!!
=== Scene 20: The Junkyard ===
[The full moon shown brightly over the town's eerie old junk yard, and numerous rats would crawl in and out of piles of scrap. But rats weren't the only ones scurrying around; Terrence had just snuck into the yard with Bloo still tightly grasped in his arms. And he was no longer dressed all neatly.]
TERRENCE: Psst! Psst! Hey uh, we're here. HEEY I GOT-
DUCHESS: [in the shadows] Yes, yes I heard you. Now introduce me like we planned.
TERRENCE: So, Bloofus, prepare to come face to face with your doom!
DUCHESS: Surprise! I bet you would've never guess that it was me, who was behind this little scheme the entire time.
BLOO: Uhhh no, no I wouldn't. Who are you again? I know you live at the house, but is it Queeny? Princess?
DUCHESS: [angry] IT'S DUCHESS!! DUCHESS!! And you have foiled my plans once and for all.
BLOO: Hach, yeah, I'm really sorry, but foiling plans? I really don't know what you're talkin' about.
DUCHESS: Adoption, adoption, ADOPTION! You ruined my chances of being adopted and finally getting out of that dump, you bastard.
BLOO: Ohh, right. The bratty little girl called me Tiffany. Yeah she wanted me and didn't want... that was you? Oh man. I- I'm really sorry. I didn't know, really.
DUCHESS: Well, regardless, I have a plan to ensure that you'll be forgotten forevermore. And when you are gone, everyone will say: "Bloo, who?"
BLOO: So, I won't be forgotten?
DUCHESS: Yes! I mean no. You will be! You will be forgotten.
BLOO: Man, hold on, when everyone sis saying "Bloo, hoo" that means that they're crying, right? That means they obviously remember me, so I won't be forgotten.
TERRENCE: Right.  ‘Cause if they're crying, they must miss you and if they miss you, they have to remember you, so they remember to... not forget?
BLOO: No, no you had it. You can't forget what you remember so-
DUCHESS: NO! What I meant was "Bloo, who?", as in "Who is that?" or "Who are you" , not "hoo" like in crying, but- Hach just forget it. [screaming] I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU, SO I'M GOING TO GET RID OF YOU, OKAY?!
BLOO: No, not o-WOOOW!
[Duchess brings out the Extremosaur ]
TERRENCE: AWESOME! THAT IS SO COOL!
DUCHESS: It gets cooler.
[Duchess snaps her fingers her fingers again, making the monster roar loudly enough to almost send Terrence and Bloo flying backwards.]
TERRENCE: RAD!!!!!
DUCHESS: [to the Extremeasaur] Sick 'em.
[Duchess snaps her fingers and the Extremosaur starts chasing Bloo, who runs away screaming. Terrence and Duchess watch and laugh. Bloo gets trapped by the Extremeasaur.]
BLOO: Goodbye, Mac. Goodbye forever.
[The Extremeasaur closes its mouth in front of Bloo, the scene goes dark.]
MAC: Shut up! I told you I'd be back!
BLOO: MAC! [to the Extremeasaur] Sorry, excuse me.
[Mac and the others approach them in the air on a flying Unicorns.]
TERRENCE: [laughing] Nice unicorns, damn ladies!
[The unicorn removes the ball that was on the tip of its horn and swoops down to attack Terrence. The group lands and does a "rescue team is here" pose.]
MAC: All right, guys, let's Bloo this!
WILT: Aww man, I'm sorry, that was not okay.
EDUARDO: Muy stinko.
COCO: Coco.
TERRENCE: [laughs] Lame. That's even more stupider than me.
BLOO: He's right. "Let's Bloo this?", come on, man, that was really- AAAHHHHHH!
[Bloo is being ambushed by the Extremeasaur again, everyone runs away, screaming.]
DUCHESS:That's it, good boy. Get rid of them all. The less competition, the better, I always say.
== Act 6 ==
=== Scene 20: The Junkyard (Part 2) ===
MAC: Wilt, do something!
WILT: Sorry, I can't. Is that okay?
MAC: Coco, help!
COCO: Cococococococococococococococococo!
MAC :Eduardo, be a hero!
EDUARDO No, you're loco, he is too scary.
BLOO: MAAAAAAC!
MAC: [after seeing the tentacles of the Extremeasaur] That’s it!
[Mac gets picked up by the Extremeasaur.]
BLOO: Mac, are you crazy?
MAC: No. [gets thrown around by the Extremeasaur] Trust - Me - I - have - an - idea. Watch - this - heeeelllp! Help! Help! Heeelp!
BLOO: [sarcastically] Oh, brilliant.
MAC: Help. Help. Oh heeelp.
[But he really WAS genius. As Mac was being tossed around, back and forth and calling out for help, he knew that there would be one to answer his call for help, and that was Eduardo. The sad imaginary monster friend didn't sit watching Mac being helplessly tossed around for long when he got the courage to charge at the monster's leg, and he grabbed and started to pull on it. The strength of Eduardo's pulling soon shattered the leg until all of the spiky balls broke apart and fell separately to the ground while Eduardo caught Mac.]
EDUARDO: [cradles Mac happily] Ohooho, Señor Mac, I so scared! The monster, he tossed you around, but I saved you, yes? I am herooo?
[The parts of the Extremeasaur‘s tentacles become spiky bombs and they approach Eduardo and Mac.]
MAC: Eduardo, look out!
[They get blown away a they explode.]
TERRENCE: Wow.
DUCHESS: Quite, I had no idea it did that. How delicious.
[Mac looks around and sees Coco laying a lot of eggs, Eduardo being ambushed by bombs and Wilt, who is building a tower out of tires for him to hide.]
MAC: Wilt!
WILT: Yeah?
MAC: I have an idea! Listen. Eduardo. The tentacles. Wilt. The bombs. Coco.
[Coco stops laying eggs]
MAC: No, no, keep doing that.
COCO: Coco coco coco! [continues]
BLOO: Remember me? I'm in danger! I think you might wanna heeeelp!
MAC: We are. Now come on, guys, let's-
[Everyone turns around and looks at Mac for what he is about to say.]
BLOO: Don't you dare say-
MAC: --do this. Do this. Okay? Happy? Let's do this.
TERRENCE: Still a stupid thing to say.
[Eduardo is ripping apart the tentacles, Wilt snatches up a bomb and throws it to Mac, who catches it with a plastic egg. It explodes inside and does no harm.]
TERRENCE: That was awesome! [Gets smacked by Duchess]
[Mac, Eduardo, Wilt and Coco continue doing all of this.]
DUCHESS: This is absolutely horrible! Those bastards are ruining my plan. Something must be done. [to Terrence] Well, don't just stand there, DO SOMETHING!
TERRENCE: Shut up, will ya? I'm tryin' to watch this.  [Gets smacked again]
[The group successfully continues to safely explode all bombs inside the eggs and leave the Extremeasaur tentacle-less now a Pac man like ball. They all cheer and are happy that their plan worked out.]
WILT: I told you he was smart!
EDUARDO: Sí! Es es intelligente!
COCO: Cococococo co!
SHREK: I'll say.
EDUARDO: Sí.
COCO: Coco.
MAC: Uh, guys?
[The Foster's bus arrives with Frankie and Mr. Herriman.]
FRANKIE: That was amazing!
MR. HERRIMAN: Quite.
SPONGEBOB: I told you he was smart.
FRANKIE: No doubt.
MR. HERRIMAN: Indeed.
EDUARDO: Sí.
COCO: Coco!
MAC: Uh, guys?
WILT: Genius.
FRANKIE: Possibly.
MR. HERRIMAN: Hm-hm.
EDUARDO: Sí.
COCO: Coco.
MAC: [Screaming] GUUUYS! GUUUYS! [calm] Man, what is wrong with you today? I think you’re forgetting something?
[Bloo is still being chased by the Extremeasaur.]
BLOO HEEEELP!
FRANKIE: Well, come on, Mr. Smarty Pants.
MAC: Wha? Oh, right. Uhm.
[Mac looks around and hears Terrence and Duchess laughing. Mac then spits a paper ball in Terrence’s face and runs away. Terrence chases him.]
MAC: [to Bloo] Hey, isn't this how this whole thing started?
BLOO: Yeah, all except for-
TERRENCE: Wait, stop! I just wanna punch you!
BLOO: Just like old times.
MAC: We need to split up.
BLOO: Now is the time you pick to abandon me?
MAC: What? No, split up. You go left, I go right.
BLOO: Oh.
[The two took opposite directions. The Extremeasaur approaches Terrence who suddenly got scared.]
DUCHESS: Urgh, where is the bloodcurdling scream?
TERRENCE: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
DUCHESS: Ah, that's more like it. Oh no. [She sees Terrence running away from the Extremeasaur.]
TERRENCE: Tell it to stop, tell it to stop! Tell it to stop! It's gonna cut my ass!
DUCHESS: Uh, very well, sto-!
[Before she can finish her sentence, Duchess and Terrence get hit by a Ming vase, knocking them out.]
COCO: Cocoo.
[The Extremeasaur eats Duchess and Terrence.]
BLOO: Whoa, that's not cool.
MAC: How do I explain that to my mom?
WILT: Don't be sorry, it's okay, look.
[The Extremeasaur spits them both out.]
FRANKIE: I guess Extremeasauruses don't have much of a taste for something so spoiled-
MR. HERRIMAN: Rotten.
=== Scene 21: Foster's Foyer ===
[Everyone is back at Foster's. We see Patrick Star, The Simpsons, Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck, the South Park boys, the Eds, and Jeffy gathered in the foyer.]
MR. HERRIMAN: I am sorry for doubting you, Master Mac. You were quite right. Your brother is by all means a big jerk.
FRANKIE: But don't worry, we took care of him.
[Terrence is in the Unicorn stables, one approaches him, with his sharp horn.]
UNICORN: Yous thinks we're goily, huh?
TERRENCE: Dammit!
[Herriman points at Duchess.]
MR. HERRIMAN: And as for you, I feel the only suitable punishment is that you--
FRANKIE: [praying] Send her away, send her away, send her away.
DUCHESS: [also praying] Send me away, send me away, send me away.
MR. HERRIMAN: --stay here.
FRANKIE AND DUCHESS: Awww, why?
MR. HERRIMAN: Because I cannot think of a more torturous experience than having to live in a home that you despise so very much.
[Frankie and Duchess groan.]
MR. HERRIMAN: Well, I see that you are both starting see eye to eye.
FRANKIE AND DUCHESS: Nuh-uh.
MAC: Uhm, Mr. Herriman? What about Bloo?
MR. HERRIMAN: Master Mac, you are truly dedicated to your friend. And the friends of Foster’s as well. You have sought to look after them and treat them as your own. And for that, we thank you. And as much as we are all in your debt for preventing what could have been a dreadful occurrence with a horrible outcome, I'm sorry to say that the rules-
FRANKIE: Rules, schmules, he's a great kid with an awesome friend, let 'em stay!
MR. HERRIMAN: Rules, schmules? Rules, schmules?  Why, Miss Frances-
[They start arguing and talking at the same time.]
FRANKIE: Blablabla, you drive me crazy sometimes, can't you get it through your thick skull that rules are meant to be broken and -
MR. HERRIMAN:  I never! I get, I mean- No, absolutely not. Rules are made to be followed!
[Everyone in the foyer joins in their arguing. Everyone stops and an old women with glasses and white hair comes down the stairs.]
BLOO: Madame Foster, you're alive!
MADAME FOSTER: Huh? Well, of course I'm alive. What'd ya think?
BLOO: Well, just that I've been here a few days and I never saw you, so I just figured.
MADAME FOSTER: It takes me a while to get down the steps, okay? I AM OLD!
EDDY: [to Mr. Herriman] See?
MADAME FOSTER: Oh, and talk about steps, this place is a madhouse. Hehe, it's crazy, steps, steps, hallways, hallways. I got lost in a hallway for a week once. Had to survive on toothpaste and acorns, hahahaha. But what you gonna do? So, I hear you got a problem, huh? Okie dokie, let's take a look here. [She looks at Mac intensely.] Ohh, yap. You got it. I haven't seen an imagination as pure as that since well... ME! [laughs] Oh, but yeah, you're a good kid, my dear. The love you have your friend and well, all these friends, is wonderful. It's simply wonderful. I like you, I really do. Now, let's see about your little friend here. [She looks at Bloo intensely.] Well, look at you, heh. Aren't you something special? You are so pure, so simple and you are a true friend. Plus, you're so cute [she hugs Bloo] I JUST WANT TO SQUEEZE YOU. SQUEEZE YOU.
BLOO: You're crushing me.
MADAME FOSTER: And funny, too. Oookay.
Mac: What?
MADAME FOSTER: Okay.
BLOO: Okay, what?
MADAME FOSTER: It's okay.
Mac: You mean-?
MADAME FOSTER: Yep.
BLOO: Really?
Mac: You're kidding!
MADAME FOSTER: Nope.
Mac: He can?
MADAME FOSTER: Ya.
BLOO: And I won't be?
MADAME FOSTER: Nah.
FRANKIE: Really?
MADAME FOSTER: Yes! How many times do I have to say it? Bloo can live here and he won't ever, ever, ever, ever be adopted. But only, if Mac promises to visit him every day. Is that okay, dear?
MAC: Of course!
MADAME FOSTER: You sure?
MAC: Totally!
MADAME FOSTER: Promise?
MAC: Promise!
MADAME FOSTER: Okay.
MAC: Thank you!
MADAME FOSTER: Sure.
BLOO: Yeah, thanks!
MADAME FOSTER: Forget about it.
FRANKIE: You rock, Grandma!
MAC AND BLOO: Grandma?
FRANKIE [to Mr. Herriman] Booyah!
MR. HERRIMAN: But, but, Madame, forgive me for saying this, but the house rules clearly state-
MADAME FOSTER: Oh pooh, you and your rules. Oh he's always been like that. Ever since I imagined him when I was a little girl. He's been nothing but a hot crossed bunny. But I love him, my big funny bunny.
BLOO: Funny Bunny?
[Mac and Bloo laugh.]
WILT: This is so awesome! I'm so sor- wait, no I'm not. ‘Cause It's okay. Mac's okay!
EDUARDO: [crying] You can-a stay. I so happy that, no I'm not, so sad!
COCO: [holds a cup of coco] Coco?
BLOO: No thanks, maybe later. So, what'd I tell ya. With me living here, Mom will be happy, Terrence will leave you alone, and you can visit me every day! It's perfect! Our problems are solved! It was just a little more of a hassle than we thought. So, you'll be back tomorrow, right?
MAC: Maybe.. I don't know.
[Mac looks away, but then slowly, looks back at Bloo and starts smiling. It was clearly a joke. Bloo gives him a smack on the shoulder and everybody at Foster's started laughing. The scene switches to an outer view of the house.]
MR. HERRIMAN: Yes, I understand that you all are happy. Okay, you can stop now. Yes. OKAY, PLEASE!!! THAT IS ENOUGH OF THIS SILLY NONSENSE!!!!
[Shows "Executive Producer: Bloo J" on screen]
[Shows "Executive Producer: Matthew Chaudhary" on screen]