Attack of The Puppet Wiggles (The Wiggles Lost Episode)

Dear god, why did I even feel the need to describe my worst fear of all. You might be scratching your heads wondering what my worst fear is. Well calm your illusions, I was just getting to that. Anyways, one of the worst fears I have involves The Wiggles. Now I'm not addressing the human Wiggles, not even the octopus, the dinosaur, the dog or the pirate. There are puppet versions of the australian band, and let me tell you, every night, they always tend to scare the living cream out of me in my dreams. Why? Their faces are just creepingly horrifying.
Everywhere I go, I see their faces. Even when I take trips to Australia, they appear out of nowhere almost making me have heart attacks. Hell, even on my 10th birthday at the orphanage, I asked for a toy on the Wiggles and what did they give me? You guessed it, the puppet versions of them. I didn't even come out of my room for the rest of the day. But it's a good thing my good friend Diana Barry protects me from all the madness. Okay, in my opinion, this is just sounding like a creepypasta describing my fears. Ahem. Alrighty, now where was I? Right.
The name is Anne Shirley. The place I am from is Green Gables. You might be asking if Green Gables is a real place. Well, the best information I could get from Google is that it's a 19th century farm and literary landmark in Canada that's based on the Anne of Green Gables novels. Now since Green Gables went through a fatal time machine progress, TV exists now. Anyways, I bet you know what the Wiggles are. Moving on. There is a lost episode of this so called australian show that talks about the puppets.
Now because of my fears, my new adopted parents who are Mr & Mrs. Tweedy from Chicken Run signed me up for a program about facing personal fears and phobias. The first day was to me, a bummer. How exactly? Well, one time I asked how long this program goes for most weekdays, and the teacher who happened to be Bob & Larry said that it runs from 9 in the morning to 3:45 in the afternoon. I spent all day trying to figure out something to do so the day could end faster. And I eventually got to the end of the day, but I had to sit in the too warm sun just so my bus could come.
I didn't even like the first day at all. But you know what I hate about this program? I have a bossy classmate whose name is Walter Matthews. Most days, he keeps on calling me carrots all because I'm red haired. Instead of smacking him on the head with a mini chalkboard like what I did back in Green Gables, I tended to beat him up. However, because I was rather brutal on that man, I ended up getting sent to jail for a few weeks due to my actions. I was disappointed that they didn't just call my parents, nor did they give me a small punishment.
The only reason they put me in jail was because that man was once dead but somehow alive and he looked rather old. And so, as I spent my days in jail, things were extremely disgusting in which I'll explain in a moment. Ya see, I ended up having to share a cell with 2 women and their names were Molly Ringwald and Tira. Molly Ringwald was arrested due to smoking weed in public, and for Tira, she had committed many acts of murder as her hobby was killing people. The 2 women were nice to me as I was still 10 years old. In jail, there's also this fat black man who keeps on repeating "I gotta get out of here, there's too many females here!" 24/7.
Anyways, back to how jail was disgusting. The first thing we do is take our morning showers. As I pass the mens shower room, I can see Lil Nas X along with some other people singing and dancing to Industry Baby. The way they danced was just disgusting. While taking my shower, I saw that Tira accidentally dropped the soap. I picked it up before any aggressive jail member saw. Next, we all ate breakfast which was obviously breakfast from a restaurant named IHOP. There was a whole variety of food so we could choose whatever we pick to eat.
Did you honestly think I'd spend a few weeks in jail? Wrong. On the second day, Tira told me that she, Molly Ringwald and I will be escaping from jail so that we don't spend our entire life in it. Later that evening, as the police station quieted down and the officers went to sleep, Tira pulled out a weapon that goes by the name of Eiserne Drossel. She started to heavily bang on the wall to the point some bricks fell out of the building. It's a good thing I kept my original clothes in a bag. Anyways, the way we got home was by sneaking onto a boat. The boat smelled nice as it wasn't one of those boats that carry garbage.
While staring at the ocean with all the adorable fish and dolphins, a sea captain who came from New Zealand or as the merry people used to call it Aotearoa said, "Oy! What in sea scallops are you doing out of your cell back in jail?" We told him that it was Tira's idea and then the sea captain said that he'll force us to sing Six Months In A Leaky Boat all the way home. I gave the sea captain a sulk face after he said that. But then I told him that if he doesn't back away from us, I'd kick his nuts.
He ran away and me, Tira and Molly Ringwald continued looking at the ocean. When we got back the next morning, I let the 2 other women go home while I went to a porta potty to change into my normal clothes. I was originally going to go to a public bathroom, but then someone would probably call the police as I had escaped jail. I finished changing and then decided to visit my friend Diana Barry. I arrived on the doorstep and hit the doorbell. Diana opened it and gave me a hug as soon as she saw me. Diana asked me how jail was and I said that it was painfully average. I got to meet Diana's new parents who were Sir Topham Hatt from Thomas & Friends and Gloria from Battington.
We then had some dinner while having a discussion. I told Diana's parents that if someone notices I'm out of jail far too early, they would take me back. They believed me and we continued eating. After dinner, Diana told me that we should go upstairs and watch a new video tape she acquired. So we made our way to her bedroom and Diana inserted the tape. She then proceeded to tell me that the puppets from The Wiggles are on this tape. I got scared when I heard that, but I wanted to try and face my fears. The first thing that popped up on the tape was the first few seconds of the shower scene from the 1996 movie Fly Away Home. However, before Amy laid her finger on that one thing-a-ma-jig where soap goes onto her eyes, a voice said, "Don't touch that thing!"
Amy screamed when she heard it. Turns out the voice came from director and actor Wes Anderson. He then said, "Hi, I'm Wes Anderson. Do you happen to live on a farm and you're rather curious about how a shower works? Well for this girl, she was about to get soap in her eyes and that's not safe! Which is why you need, Waterproof Notes." I was curious of how this was actually an As Seen On TV commercial. The way Waterproof Notes work is by placing it anywhere where water is nearby. And you can also label things for your next shower or bath. It then cut to the intro to The Wiggles, the intro was the one used for Series 2.
Near the end of the intro, The Wiggles were seen in the front yard holding that same weapon that Tira used to bail her, me and Molly Ringwald out of jail. They were chanting "Hail god! Hail Jesus and Hail YouTube!" Anyway, the episode starts out with Greg in the kitchen making what looked like a pizza. The pizza had condiments like cheese, ketchup and Oreo's. Ugh, that's disgusting. I'd never put that on my pizza. Besides, if you're gonna add ketchup to a pizza, don't put it in the oven, use it cold, as I think it can cool down the pizza that way. Just then, Murray walked into the kitchen and smelled Greg's cooking. "Whatcha making Greg man?" Murray asked. "Pizza!" Greg replied. Murray saw the condiments on the pizza and was rather confused. "Why is there ketchup on the pizza?" Murray asked once again. "To make it tomato supreme!" Greg replied.
The next scene cut to Anthony digging a hole in the garden. While he digged, his shovel banged on what looked like a video case. The VHS had "Puppets" written on the cover. Meanwhile, Murray, Greg and Jeff were watching an episode of Spongebob on TV until Anthony came into the room and told the trio that he had found a video tape in the backyard. Anthony showed them the cover of the tape and asked if they could watch it. "As long as it is not a horror movie, that's fine by us." Jeff said. It then cut to a song which was Uncle Noah's Ark. However, there was a new change to the song at the end. Moses, as seen in The Prince of Egypt came out and said, "We're secretly making a prequel to The Prince of Egypt where we meet Noah. Wanna act in it? Your song would be perfect for the movie." The Wiggles agreed and it transitioned back to the Wiggle house.
"Can't believe this tape took 9 minutes to get working, but now we get to see what this tape is about!" Anthony said. "Maybe it's because it's been buried for so long." Greg replied. On the TV screen, it began playing that music video featuring the wiggle puppets. Puppet Greg then walked in sing Can You Point Your Finger And Do The Twist as part of the remix. Greg look awfully confused as he was watching the video. "Is that me? I look weird!" Greg said. Murray, Jeff and Anthony would soon notice their puppet versions and Murray said, "Jesus, we look really uncanny!" I was shocked by the fact that Murray took the lord's name in vein.
"And about Dorothy, she's normal. Do you think this video is a death trap?" Anthony asked. Greg paused the tape to ring up if Dorothy was okay. We transition to Dorothy's garden as the phone rang. Suddenly, a midget that looked like it came from a 2012 comedy film appeared and grabbed the phone. The first thing he said on the phone was, "Ayyo, what's up?"
This is how the discussion before Dorothy came along went.
Greg: Dorothy? Is that you? Have you been smoking?
The Midget: No I ain't Dorothy, I am her butler. What do you want?
Greg: Look sir, I don't mean to put you in any trouble or anything but is Dorothy there? We have a question for her.
The Midget: Yeah she's here. Hey Dorothy, an australian man is on the phone.
Dorothy began walking to the phone while some background music from Teletubbies began to play. She then picked up the phone and began talking to Greg. The conversation was about if Dorothy was placed in a trap by the puppet version of the Wiggles. Dorothy said no and proceeded to tell Greg that she got a chance to be included in the music video which was known as Wigglemix. We then transition to the shipyard where Captain Feathersword and Wags would usually be seen. And of course, they were there in this episode. Captain Feathersword was trying to show Wags how to snap but nothing came to plan.
That's when a puppet version of Captain Feathersword came out of the blue and said, "Ahoy there me harties, I'm puppet Captain Feathersword!" The way the puppet came out kinda terrified me because over all, I had a fear of the puppets and I was still trying to get over my fears. Captain Feathersword was shocked by this and he said, "Hey, that looks exactly like me. But my voice seems rather high pitched." Then the puppet Feathersword said, "Well duh, that's how some puppets on TV speak!" Another song came on. It was a song called I Am A Dancer. I honestly do not have time to explain how the songs go in this episode. So I suggest you google it.
After the song, the next scene showed the Wigglehouse at night. Greg was in his bed calmly sleeping until he heard a knock somewhere in his room. "Murray, is that you?" Greg asked. No one gave a response. Greg got up to answer the door and no one was there. So he looked at the window and what he saw scared him. The puppet version of Greg was at the window. He was holding a sign saying to let him in. Greg opened the window and Puppet Greg came in. "You're the puppet from that video me and the others watched. What are you doing here?" Greg asked. The puppet version of Greg then said, "Don't be afraid, we are not here to kill you. We're here to join the band." Greg then asked, "Who's we?" The puppet versions of Murray, Jeff and Anthony then jumped through the window.
"These are my homies." Puppet Greg said. Greg then told the puppets that they already have members with the same name and he didn't want to spark confusion on who is who. "I must be dreaming, I gotta pinch myself and get out of here." Greg pinched himself but it turns out that those puppets were actually in his room. "Now now yellow man, don't scream, you'll disturb the peace." Puppet Anthony told Greg. Suddenly, the real Anthony walked in and saw the puppets on Greg's bed. "Geez, those puppets are real. They might want something with us!" Anthony said. "We'll talk about this in the morning folks!" Puppet Greg said.
The next song came on and it was entitled Zardo Zap. To summarize, Zardo Zap is about a female human like alien who comes to Earth and has everyone dance and sing along to the song she sings. Morning came in the next scene. The Wiggles were having some chocolate chip cookies and coffee for breakfast. The puppets proceeded to tell the quadruplet that they were built by Anthony. As soon as they said that, Anthony got a confused look on his face. "What? So that means I invented you to make a video tape. What am I looking at?" Puppet Greg then walked over to Anthony while trying to make a sinister look and said, "Oh yeah, since the popularity of The Wiggles, we were born and ready to perform!"
Just then, the puppet versions of Dorothy, Wags, Henry and Captain Feathersword came into the house with the actual versions of the characters running in. "These things are monsters!" Dorothy shouted. Puppet Dorothy started jumping onto Greg's shoulder as Greg yelled, "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY SHOULDER!" He then threw the puppet version of the dinosaur to Puppet Jeff and everybody in the room started beating up their puppet selves. While the rest of the guys continued to beat up the puppets, Murray reached for the phone and dialed the police. As soon as he finished his call, another song came up and the song was titled Walk. The song is about many places you can walk to like the pool, school, the park or any other place.
The last scene showed multiple police people walking up to the Wigglehouse. I actually managed to recognize most of the police. The people were Grandpa Joe, Ian Mercer and The Coachman. They said the command that the door with a face always wants to hear, which is please. The door opened as The Coachman yelled, "You, puppets, you are both under arrest for assault and battery. You have no rights, come with us to the police car!" The puppets were arrested and the Wiggles felt like they were in peace. And then a scene involving a court session happened. As I looked at the audience, I recognized some people who feel like they don't belong in an episode like this. There was Bitores Mendez, Orio, Jenny and Oliver from Oliver & Company and Peter Napaldi.
The puppets were sentenced to 40,000 years of community service. It then goes to the credits which played in a normal way. Ya know, I was right. This episode made me face my fears. I no longer have fears of those damn puppets. I mean, puppets can be scary, but it's a good thing that we can all face fears in a little while. As soon as the credits ended, a knock was at the door. I looked out the window and saw 2 police officers that actually happened to be from that one Mario Party commercial from the 90's.
I heard everything. They asked Sir Topham Hatt and Gloria if I happened to come here. They kept telling the officers no and they left. For some reason, I have now been spending 2 weeks at Diana's house thanks to the police looking for me. My advice is that you should always try to face your fears and never escape prison until said otherwise. The End.
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Funnypasta