Torchless Wood

This is a story about Torchwood losing his flame and unable to ignite it back up in urgency.
Created by Ariq1144.
== Characters ==
* Melon-pult
* Peashooter
* Gatling Pea
* Screen Door Zombie
* Repeater
* Threepeater
* Torchwood
* Snow Pea
* Buckethead Zombie
* Conehead Zombie
* Dr. Zomboss
* Football Zombie
* Wall-nut
* Tall-nut
* Penny
* E.M.Peach
== Prologue ==
One sunny morning, in Neighborville...
Melon-pult: *Putting luggages in the car trunk* “Alright, that was the last one! Be sure to guard the place while some of us are gone!”
Peashooter: “Of course! Don’t worry.”
Gatling Pea: “ATTENTION!”
Peashooter: “Huh?”
Gatling Pea: “Remember, soldier! ALWAYS BE ALERT! You never know when those walking corpses will strike! And when they do, DEFEND THE BASE EVEN IF IT COSTS YOUR LIFE!”
Peashooter: “Sir! Yes, sir!”
Gatling Pea: “We’re counting on you, soldier! ALRIGHT, LET’S GO!”
*The Plants left with the car, leaving only peashooting plants as the main line of defense*
== Chapter 1: Flame Up ==
One long battle in the lawn, with a bunch of peashooting plants versus a bunch of high-armored zombies...
Screen Door Zombie: “Braaainz…”
Repeater: “Take this, you stinky zombies!” *shoots peas*
Peashooter: “There’s too many of them! We need more firepower!”
Threepeater: “How about we ask good ol’ Torchwood’s help?”
Peashooter: “Good idea! TORCHWOOOOOD...!”
Torchwood: “I’m here! What do ya peaheads want me to do!?”
Peashooter: “Sit in front of us so our peas will ignite in flames!”
Torchwood: “The usual, eh? Seems like you only call me here to sit in front of you like it’s all I’m good for! Why not, I don’t know, call me for LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE!!!”
Threepeater: “But it’s the only thing you’re good for!”
Torchwood: “Alright, whatever you say, peanut.” *sits in front of the peashooting plants*
Threepeater: *Whispers to Peashooter* “Why did he call me peanut?”
Peashooter: *Shrugs*
With Torchwood’s help, the barrage of peas turn into flaming peas, burning through the zombies faster than before...
Peashooter: “Woo hoo!”
Threepeater: “Take that, zombies!”
Repeater: “Yeah!”
*Four ignited peas hit Screen Door Zombie’s screen door, and a single normal pea*
Screen Door Zombie: “...”
Snow Pea: “...”
After a short while...
Buckethead Zombie: *Loses head, then fall down*
Peashooter: “We did it! That was the last one!”
Threepeater: “Hooray!”
Repeater: “Nice work, team!”
Peashooter: “Thanks, Torchwood!”
Torchwood: “Yeah you should be thankin’ me more often. Gettin’ little appreciation from kids these days.” *leaves the lawn while mumbling*
Threepeater: “...what’s his problem?”
Peashooter: “Oh, he’s always been like that.”
Meanwhile, in the bushes...
Conehead Zombie: “Hmm...”
== Chapter 2: Flame Out ==
Dr. Zomboss: “Grr! If it wasn’t because of that stupid tree stump, my zombies would have won!”
Conehead Zombie: “Maybe you shood get reed of him.”
Dr. Zomboss: “Hmm... I have to find a way to make his flames goes out! But how...?”
Conehead Zombie: “Juzt add water.”
Dr. Zomboss: “According to my previous research, he seems to be able to re-ignite the flames after being watered. So that plan would prove to be... rather ineffective.”
Conehead Zombie: “Add more water?”
Dr. Zomboss: “Hmm... I know! Why don’t I read the information regarding that plant on my database that Robot Peashooter sent a while ago? Maybe I’ll find his weakness!”
A few minutes later...
Dr. Zomboss: *Scrolling through data* “Hmm... Torchwood, Torchwood, Torchwood... Aha! Here it is!”
*The computer screen shows a few pictures of Torchwood and a bunch of data*
Dr. Zomboss: “It says here that the source of the flame comes from a thermal core in his body that allows him to turn his flame on and off at will!” *continues reading* “...can quickly evaporate water when necessary, blah blah blah... okay! So now we know what keeps that old stump burning! Now, if I can alter the core to make it dysfunctional, that old stump would be burning no more! Mwuahahahahaha!!!”
Conehead Zombie: “You’re so evil.”
Dr. Zomboss: “Why thank you.”
At night...
Torchwood: “...ZzZzZz...”
*A tiny robot is seen crawling on Torchwood*
Dr. Zomboss: (At Zomboss HQ, controlling the robot) “Hehehe...”
*The tiny robot gets inside the trunk*
The next day...
Torchwood: *Yawns* “Another day, another job to do.”
Peashooter: “TORCHWOOOOOD...!”
Torchwood: “COMING...! Ugh, bet they’re gonna ask me to sit on that darn spot again.”
*Torchwood comes to the lawn*
Torchwood: “What is it, folks?”
Peashooter: “We need your help! These zombies are so strong and we–”
Torchwood: “Aight, talk no more, chump!” *moves over in front of the peashooting plants* “Better!?”
Repeater: “Uh... We kinda need your flame a lil’ bit.”
Torchwood: “Whoops! Didn’t realize my flame was out. Strange, I don’t remember putting it out.” *tries to ignite the flame* “Hmph! Hmph!”
Peashooter: “What’s the problem?”
Torchwood: “I can’t turn it on!”
Threepeater: “What?”
Football Zombie: “Braaainz...”
Wall-nut: “Uh, guys, not trying to interfere, but these zombies are getting closer!”
*The peashooting plants looks really worried*
Threepeater: “Come on! Try harder!”
Torchwood: “I’m trying, I’m trying! It doesn’t work!”
Snow Pea: “I can only slow them down!”
Repeater: “Aaahh!!! They ate off Wall-nut!”
Tall-nut: “Wall-nut!!!”
Wall-Nut: “Eep!”
Torchwood: *Keeps trying*
Peashooter: “Oh no!!! Release the Lawn Mowers!!!”
Threepeater: “On it!” *activates the Lawn Mowers*
*The Lawn Mowers mows down all zombies on the lawn*
Peashooter: “Phew!”
Repeater: “But that was our last stock of Lawn Mowers! What are we gonna do when they come back!?”
Peashooter: “...”
Threepeater: “...”
Snow Pea: “...”
Wall-nut: “Eep!”
Torchwood: “This ain’t good.”
== Chapter 3: Core Problem ==
Repeater: “Alright, we really need to do something about this.”
Threepeater: “Like what?”
Repeater: “Well, I don’t know, why don’t YOU think about what to do?”
Peashooter: “Can’t you really ignite your flame?”
Torchwood: “Of course I can, I was just having a good lil’ prank with you that could end up with zombies eating us alive. ARE YOU BRAINDEAD!? OF COURSE I CAN’T!”
Peashooter: “Hmm... Maybe there’s something wrong inside of you?”
Torchwood: “Inside of me...? Well, now that I think about it, I did feel something inside me last night. I thought I was just dreaming, so I brushed it off.”
Repeater: “Great! Snow Pea! Check inside the trunk!”
Snow Pea: “Hehey! No way! What if his flame got ignited while I was peering? Ask Threepeater.”
Repeater: “Threepeater!”
Threepeater #1: “He was talking to you.”
Threepeater #2: “No, he was talking to you!”
Threepeater #3: “I like backgammon.”
Peashooter: “This is never gonna end... Alright, I’m gonna take a look!”
Torchwood: “Alright, don’t blame me if you do get burned.”
Peashooter: “Gulp!”
*Peashooter peers inside the trunk*
Peashooter: “Hey! I see something in here! A book! It says ‘Learn How To Read’.”
Torchwood: “Don’t search in my private trunk, ya dimwit! Search in the other one!”
Peashooter: “Oops! Sorry! Hehe.”
Torchwood: “Find anything yet? Other than my junk.”
Peashooter: “Yeah... It looks like a... a robot!”
Repeater: “A robot!?”
Peashooter: “Hold on, it’s doing something...” *gets electrocuted* “AaAaAaHhHh!!!!!”
Threepeater: “Whoa!”
Snow Pea: “Are you alright?”
Peashooter: “Y-yeah...”
Repeater: “Torchwood can’t ignite his flame and there's a tiny robot inside him... I think I know who to blame!”
Threepeater #1: “Yeah! Global warming!”
Repeater: “...what? I was referring to Zomboss.”
*Threepeater #2 & #3 stares at #1*
Threepeater #1: “…yeah, that’s what I mean. Zomboss.”
Peashooter: “We have to remove this robot if we want Torchwood to flame up again!”
Snow Pea: “Sure, anyone wants free electrocution?”
Peashooter: “...”
Threepeater: “Try shooting it!”
Torchwood: “Hey! Watch where you aim that th–”
Repeater: *Shoots peas at the tiny robot*
Torchwood: “Ouch! Oww! Stop it!”
Repeater: *Gets electrocuted* “AoOoWw!!! It won’t budge!!!” 
Buckethead Zombie: “Braaainz...”
Snow Pea: “Oh no! They’re here already!”
Peashooter: “Snow Pea, try to slow them down! I’m gonna try something!”
Repeater: “You better hurry! We can only fend them off for a short minute!”
== Chapter 4: Reignite ==
Peashooter: “Penny! Penny!”
Penny: “Inform your needs.”
Peashooter: “Take me to the Far Future!”
Penny: “Sorry, you are unauthorized to do so.”
Peashooter: “This is URGENT!!! ZOMBIES!!!”
Penny: “Why didn’t you say so? Let’s go.”
Repeater: “Peashooter better hurry up! These zombies are getting CLOSER!”
Screen Door Zombie: “Braaainz...”
*Peashooter and Penny arrived from the Far Future*
Peashooter: “I got it! I got the E.M.Peach!”
E.M.Peach: “Here I am!”
Buckethead Zombie: “Growls...”
Tall-nut: *Being chewed on* “Ugh!”
Torchwood: “Uh-oh!”
Peashooter: “Torchwood! Take this!!!” *throws E.M.Peach at Torchwood*
Torchwood: “Huh?”
*E.M.Peach disables the tiny robot*
Peashooter: “Try to ignite it now!!!”
Torchwood: “Hmph!” *flame ignites* “I did it!”
 Repeater: “Alright! Everyone! Full force!!! ATTACK!!!”
*The peashooting plants barrages the Zombies with ignited peas, burning off the undead horde to crisps*
Threepeater: “We did it!!!”
Snow Pea: “Yay!!!”
Repeater: “Whew!”
Peashooter: “There’s only one thing left to do now.”
*Peashooter removes the disabled tiny robot inside Torchwood, then throws it into the pool*
Peashooter: “There! All done!”
Repeater: “Yeah!”
Torchwood: “Yeah, uh, thanks for helping me ignite my flame and save the day. Maybe you peanuts aren’t that bad at all.”
Peashooter: “You’re welcome! I–“
Torchwood: “Just kidding. I STILL DISLIKE ALL OF YOU!!!” *leaves the area while mumbling*
Threepeater: “...what’s his problem?”
Peashooter: “Oh, he’s always been like that.”
Repeater: “Grumpy old stump.”
Torchwood: “I HEARD THAT!!!!!”
THE END
== Epilogue ==
Dr. Zomboss: “Grah!!! Stupid E.M.P.!!!”
Conehead Zombie: “Actually, iz E.M.Peach.”
Dr. Zomboss: “Who cares!!! I call them whatever I like!”
Conehead Zombie: “Oh, okay.”
Dr. Zomboss: “Nevermind! You better prepare well, puny Plants! For my next project shall be your end! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That is, until I figure out what to do with these alkali metals.”
Conehead Zombie: “Juzt add water.” *adds water*
Dr. Zomboss: “WAIT, NO–“
BOOOOOM!!!!!
Category:Fanfics