Three Ways to Kill Your Dad

==Fiascos==
#Elisa Martinez as Bounty Hunter
#Kaytelyne Odum as Cowgirl
#Alyssa Mohr as Snow White
==Story==
===Elisa's Story===
There he is!
 
 
Get him!
 
 
Kill the bastard!
 
 
Who's there?
 
 
Hello, Vince. Looks like you've
gotten yourself in a spot of trouble.
 
 
Elisa?
 
 
You've got to help me.
That mob is trying to kill me.
 
 
- Why would they do such a nasty thing?
- I don't know. I'm not such a bad guy.
 
 
You're a sexist, egotistical,
lying, hypocritical bigot.
 
 
I have a few faults.
Is that a reason to kill me?
 
 
You're foul, Vince...
 
 
...a wart on the nose of humanity,
and I'm going to blast it off.
 
 
Elisa. Elisa. Elisa.
 
 
Goodbye, boss man.
It's quitting time.
 
 
- You can’t mean this.
- One, two, three, four...
 
 
Why me? I'm just an ordinary guy
trying to do his job.
 
 
...eight, nine...
- Holy shit!
 
 
...ten.
===Kaytelyne's Story===
 
Hey, hot stuff. Grab your pad and
pencil, and get your buns in here.
 
 
Yes, ma'am.
 
 
Morning.
 
 
- Hold it. Hold it right there.
- Is something wrong?
 
 
No, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to
check your bod. Turn around a second.
 
 
You got a nice ass, Vince.
 
 
You should get your pants out tighter.
Bring them up in the crotch.
 
 
You got a nice package,
might as well show it off.
 
 
- Mrs. Odum.
- Come here. I want you to take a memo.
 
 
To all personnel...
 
 
- That's great cologne you're wearing.
- Thank you.
 
 
That stuff's turning me on.
What's that called?
 
 
- Stud.
- Stud.
 
 
It's very sexy. Only I don't like
that tie you're wearing.
 
 
- What happened to the ones I gave you?
- Nothing, l...
 
 
- Take it off. Take it off.
- Excuse me?
 
 
I can’t work with those stripes
glaring at me.
 
 
How about unbuttoning that coat and
your shirt? You need to loosen up.
 
 
That's better.
 
 
- Where were we?
- The memo.
 
 
Yeah. By the way,
I got a surprise for you here.
 
 
- I am a married man.
- Forget about your wife, Vince.
 
 
You may be hers in the evening,
but you're my boy from to .
 
 
I wanted to show you what I got
for you. Isn't it pretty?
 
 
Yes, it's very pretty, but you
shouldn't be buying gifts for me.
 
 
Okay, let me put it on you here.
 
 
- Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?
- No.
 
 
I love your hair. It's so sexy.
 
 
Let's go over on the couch.
I'll go look the door.
 
 
- Mrs. Odum.
- Let's be friendly, Vince.
 
 
You need to be a little more cooperative
if you want to keep this job.
 
 
I'm not that kind of boy!
 
 
One little kiss? What's that gonna
hurt? Who's gonna know?
 
 
No. I won't. I won't kiss that mouth!
 
 
Vince, you get back here!
I'm warning you. Come back here.
 
 
No. I won't.
 
 
And he's out of the chute,
ladies and gentlemen.
 
 
Look at him.
That's a big, bold hitter.
 
 
There's Kaytelyne Odum.
She's gonna try to rope this...
 
 
She's already got him down.
 
 
Let's see how long it takes to hog-tie
this sexist, egotistical, lying bigot.
 
 
Just five seconds,
ladies and gentlemen.
===Alyssa's Story===
Alyssa, get me some coffee.
 
 
Yes, sir.
 
 
Sorry.
 
 
Thank you.
 
 
- Your coffee, Mr. Martinez.
- Yeah. Put it down.
 
 
Just the way you like it.
 
 
- More coffee, Mr. Martinez?
- Coffee?
 
 
- I think something was in that coffee.
- I think you're right.
 
 
- I think it was poisoned.
- Right again.
 
 
I think you did it.
 
 
- But why? Why?
- Why do you think?
 
 
I'm a sexist, egotistical, lying,
hypocritical bigot?
 
 
Bingo.