Severe Anxiety

Ever wondered what happened to someone when anxiety develops into something much worse?
Iris Snow was in one of her many daydream thoughts as she sketched in her book during the class. Effectively ignoring the teacher as she knew the material already anyway. She was a young girl, not even 20 yet. Light olive toned skin and dark brown hair with the eyes to match. She often considered herself quite plain compared to the people she knew and had known her whole life. She also happened to be quite short, standing at only 5'3. She had lived a relatively calm life aside from being removed from her mother's custody with her younger siblings, though that was well over 10 years ago. Now she had finished high school and started college for her associates in Graphic Design while living with her guardians. 
The teacher announced that the class was over, bringing her out of her thoughts and back to teality. Closing the sketch book she sighed and started to put her stuff away, tensing as she normally did when she felt an relentless gaze.
Oh, how she hated the owner of that gaze, she could never find the source of it and it made her anxious, causing her to feel like she could never relax. She mentioned this to her guardians several times, however, they only ever blew it off. "Oh you're from a small town Iris, Everyone knows everyone so it's probably some boy who has his eye on you. You're beautiful and we can't see how any boy wouldn't like you." As creepy as that is already, she didn't believe whatever was watching her was a person, or even really a 'thing'. Not only that but it's been plaguing her since sophomore year. Though back then it had been quite tame, unnoticeable as the feeling was fleeting, leaving as quickly as she thought she felt it. Only to become stronger and almost life halting now as she moves closer to the midterm of her second semester at college. 
The bell rings and with a heavy sigh, she finishes packing her stuff and pulls her backpack on before quickly sliping out the door of the college classroom. Her anxiety climbing as she noticed one of the guys behind her trying to catch up with her. She didn't want to talk to anyone, her stutter when speaking while anxious and lack of confidence which bloomed upon the arrival of the intensifying gaze, reminded her constantly she wasn't fit to interact with other human beings. She was much better behind a screen. 
Unfortunately, she didn't make it outside and to the safety of her bus stop. No, a guy named Juno Inoshi stopped her just before the door. Sure he was handsome, and he also wanted to be a graphic designer for Spike Chunsoft if she recalled, but this didn't matter in the wake of her anxiety. She just wanted him to leave her alone.
He stood towering over her at 6'7 with a pearly white smile, dark tan skin and green emerald pools for eyes, and his hair was black with the tips presumably bleached to be snow white. Her cheeks were flushed a deep red while looking up at him timidly. Whether it just because she was shy and liked him of her anxiety was getting to her that badly, she couldn't tell. "W-what do you w-want J-Juno?" Suddenly becoming aware of her own yellowing teeth and imperfect freckling of sun marks on her own face.
He smiled softly at her and held out something in the palm of his hand. She didn't really wish to look at it however she forced herself to, it was a small piece of paper. He startled her out of the confused thoughts she was having as he spoke, causing her to look back up at him. "I always see you around and you don't seem like you really talk to anyone... but you seem really nice so, shoot me a message when you can? You don't have to if you don't want to though." Iris' cheeks started to flush again at this and she gently, but quickly took the paper scrap, the anxious feeling climbing steadily higher as she continued with the interaction.
"O-ok..." she responded hesitantly, Juno smiled and stood up straight. She couldn't help but feel uncomfortable thart she just noticed how much he bent over to speak to her. Not only that, but also embarassed she just noticed it.
"Awesome! I Look forward to hearing from ya!" He hummed happily as he took off for another class judging by the direction he took off. Holding the paper to her chest she held it close, rushing off to her bus stop to get to home as soon as possible. Whether happy about this or not she wasn't sure.
She stepped off the bus after she reached her stop, the anxious feeling still there but not as bad as when she had interacted with Juno. Frowning to herself when she entered the home calling out that she was there. Unfortunately, or fortunately in her case, no one was home. With a sigh, she dropped her stuff in a chair and grabbed her a drink and snack from the kitchen, hoping to relax. She then returned to her stuff in the living room, picked it up and slung it over her shoulder with the small bag of food in the same hand before heading to her room upstairs. Setting the chip bag aside on her desk and her drink on the other side she sloppily put the school bag down and pulled out her computer. 
She hooked it up, powered on, and sat back closing her eyes as she waited for the bootup process to finish. Suddenly remembering the paper slip she quickly sat back up, painfully aware of the anxious nerves building up inside of her making her mind jump to all sorts of conclusions and endings. However, she opened the paper anyway, on it she noticed that it had some letters scrawled onto it in rather small print for what it was supposed to hold. 
It read, "Dear Iris, I didn't know if you had Discord or not, but if you don't, than i highly suggest getting it. I don't have a phone so I use this site instead. My Username is JunoTheGhost#2241" 
She happened to have Discord already so she searched the username in the friend finding box. She saw that the user was there, but she was intesely nervous now, she knows that he wanted to give her the paper but wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. But stuffing those feelings down she quickly clicked the button once she made up her mind. She nervously shifted from bouncing her leg and waiting for the response, then she noticed a message request, she accepted it and it was from the same username but it just sent her a link to join another server. She cautiously clicked the join button as she didn't know what it had in store. When it loaded it was a server that seemed like it was themed in self-help through spiritual and other means of help, but people seemed to talk about whatever.
Who she assumed to be Juno, or at the very least the person had the same username as what he put on the paper, welcomed her to the server. She typed back saying she was glad and thanking him for the invite. A small smile starts to form on her face as she messages back and forth, eventually meeting others on the server. Some hippies as she expected and others on the total opposite side of the spectrum being self-proclaimed white witches. Though most of them were like her, regular-seeming people. When she finally said goodnight to those who were leaving for their nights' rest it was already around 2 am in the morning. 
With a yawn she got up to go get a drink of water, that is when she noticed the house was oddly quiet. No one had come home, she frantically checked the garage for the cars, nothing, she rushed to their rooms, nothing, soon she started calling. Nothing. Not even a ring, all their phones were off or dead, she assumed anyway as they all went straight to voicemail. She had to stop and catch her breath to recollect herself, she was just overreacting, maybe she was just dreaming. 'That's it, I just fell asleep at my desk while talking with them, that's all,' she tried reasoning with herself. But then she noticed the shadows, they seemed to be looking at her out of the corner of her eye.
Sucking a deep breath she quickly took her glass and went upstairs. She noticed her laptop had gone to sleep, was she really gone that long? She looked at the clock, it was already 2:30 am. Where had all the time gone? She hadn't been gone but only a few minutes, atleast, she thought it was only a few minutes. With a sigh she got back into her seat, feeling more anxious than usual. She convinced herself everything was fine though, it had to be, she had a test next week to be sharp for and couldn't afford to worry about this much longer.
That test did not come though, in fact currently she was held in custody by police. She paced in the interrogation room biting at her nails, her hair was messy and a little greasy, she looked overly anxious. The only little bit of calm she had was in her phone while talking to Juno, who she had confirmed sent her the invite on Discord, and was trying to figure out the situation with her. Apparently, her family really did never come home that night or the next. 
In fact, they were STILL missing and the watching feeling only got worse, scratching at her arms, unwitting to the bleeding and bruising that caused. Finally, she cried out as she accidentally bit too hard on her finger when a particularly nervous bout hit her. "a-AH! Ow!" Dropping her phone with a clatter and holding her hand close she sheds a few tears. It was bleeding badly, she didn't realize her teeth were so sharp.
After she recovered enough she gingerly picked up her phone as a woman quickly comes up to her and wraps her finger to stop the bleeding. They had questioned her not too long ago about this as she was the one that called it in. She wasn't crazy, it was the third day in a row they questioned her since she reported it. 
She continued to message Juno who was trying his hardest to calm her down, though it wasn't really working as you would have been able to tell by the spiraling conversation. Which eventually ended in her breaking her phone against the concrete wall after a particularly angering conversation; in which he believed she was just overreacting. She watched the guard with fleeting eyes as they watched her, she didn't like this, that feeling increased tenfold with what she already experienced on a daily basis. She held herself and tried to calm down, to no avail. 
The investigation and questioning of her continued for a while, eventually landing with her at a psychiatrist and being prescribed medication for what they said was severe anxiety. The bruising and scratching and injuring of herself had decreased significantly and the feeling had died down to almost nothing after a couple of months. She was still alone mostly as her sisters and guardians were still missing, nothing had been found. Juno stayed close to her, and moved in after a little while since it worked out for the both of them. She wouldn't have to be alone, and he wouldn't have to pay for much more than the utility bill. Despite her delusions from time to time they managed to become a couple. He kept her in check by making sure she took her medications, helping to keep her accountable. 
Happily, she continued this way for a few more months, then Juno had to go on a trip for one of his classes and would be gone a couple of weeks. She couldn't go with him but promised that she would try to keep herself in check. What she didn't tell him, was that the feeling of the gaze had started to overcome her medication. She didn't want to worry him too much, as she felt like she took over most of his life already. 
She had made it fine the first few days, however, the feeling of being watched started to become almost as strong as it had been when she found her family missing, she pulled at her hair nervously and tried hard to figure out what it was, she looked around and desperately searched for the source going from room to room, checking in and out of different places. Nothing happened for the next couple of days. That is, till she started to notice the figures and the laughing. They sounded like her family. Looking around desperate she continued trying to find the source of the noises, noticing the shadowy figures run from place to place.
Now she refused to sleep, and there was a good week left before Juno would come home. Sure she could message him and ask him to come back early but she was sure that it was just delusions as she was told by her psychiatrist. At the very least that is what she wanted to believe.
Believe she did till she caught one of the shadowy figures in the light. It looked like one of her sisters, but the eyes were sunken in and the mouth mangled and she began to question if what she saw was really a mouth at all, and the body looked bluish and cold, like there was no blood flow. She giggled and ran off, quickly leaving her sight. Iris followed, trying to keepup and find out what was going on. Eyes wide as she entered the room she was lead to, the garage. Looking around she caught her eye on the emergancy fire ax hanging on the wall, sure it was old and a little rusty but it would do... She knew whatever that thing was, it wasn't her sister anymore, if it ever was.
She exited the room, the feeling of being watched increasing. She noticed the form of her sister there again. Giggling the creature ran and Iris quickly chased after. She didn't know what came over her, but the thought that maybe if she killed these things then she could get rid of the relentless gaze entered her mind, and it was quite appealing to her at this point. Eventually, she cornered and butchered the small creature. After she was done Iris breathed heavily, eventually standing straight and observing the damage.
The mangled and distorted screams from the form were heavily imprinted on her mind, but she felt a little less watched. She looked at the form below her noting that it was beyond recognizable at that point, her arms were weak and tired but she noticed another figure at the door, a taller one, presumably supposed to represent her male guardian given the shape of the shadow. She turned slowly and looked at him, hair over her eyes and drenched in sweat from her anxiousness and activities. She didn't know why but she did like the idea that it had seen what she had done. She looks at the figure wide eyed "Were you watching me?"
The house was a mess, blood painted the room she slept in, as well as the the upstairs hall and the living room. 
She had found and killed all 4 of the beings in the house, and she felt happy, elated even. It seemed like it was over. However in the process she did have some major injuries. She got pinned by one of the creatures and seeing to cause her as much pain as possible it started to cut away at the corners of her mouth. She hadn't had to time to do anything about it when she was fighting but now she stood in the bathroom trying to sew the ragged cut mess that were her cheeks back together. As bad as it hurt, and shaky as her hands were she couldn't help but feel happier that she felt like she wasn't being watched anymore.
She managed to piece together the one cheek but unfortunetly she was unable to finish the otherside, having to leave it unsewed and attempting to actually disinfect the wounds, leaving her crying a bit as the pain starts to be too much near the end.
Disappointed she wasn't able to fully treat herself but not too unhappy she exited the bathroom and Thought for a moment before she went into her room, stepping over the corpse lying there. She went to her closet to grab a jacket. she wanted to go down to the police station to report what happened however she felt a presence behind her. Suddenly the intense anxious feeling of being watched again stopped her in her tracks. She turned, slowly grabing the ax laying nearby, and looking at the figure behind her.
He approched the door and unlocked it with the key he had, but found that the door was unlocked. He only became that much more worried about what had happened while he was gone. Juno decided to come home early. Since Iris hadn't answered the chat in a good day or so when she would normally update him every 10-12 hours and he had been worried. As a result He took the closest flight out and to come back to the house. It took a couple of flights and about 2 days but he got back.
He opened the door and was appalled by the smell that wafted up to his nose, like rotting meat left out for days. Walking around he stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the livingroom wall. Blood coated the walls from the rotting body blow it. He wanted to puke but held it in with a rough gulp and left the house to call the police. Looking through out the house he only found more of the same. Disgusted Juno called the police to report what he found, and the missing presence of his girlfriend.
During the investigation, they identified the bodies as Iris's two sisters and two guardians only through the items they held, though they were unsure how they ended up there after being missing for almost a year. Alongside this was the worrying subject of the medication in the medicine cabinet. It consisted of empty bottles and all the pills were in the toilet, resulting in it being clogged, though it doesn't seem like the clogging had been noticed by the perpertrator. There was no note and Iris was declared a missing person and suspect in the deaths of her 'family'. 
It took weeks but soon the house was cleared out and Juno was able to go into the garage and collect his things. He noticed that there was an empty spot on Iris's father's tool rack. Shaking his head and not thinking much of it he exited the garage with a box, taking it out to his car. In that moment he noticed,with a slight twinge, that maybe, just maybe something was watching him.
Category:Mental Illness