500 Keys/Quotes

:Bart: Time is get my mischief on. (Bart holds a key belonging to U.S. Mail.) Let's starts with a little federal crime.
:(Bart opens a mail box.)
:Random Guy: Oh man, thank god. I can get back that angry letter I wrote to my boss.
:Random Woman: I really didn't want that subscription to The Atlantic.
:Professor Frink: Yes, and this patent application for a robot dog could use a bit more tinkering. With the biting and chewing on my tuchus. (Robot Dog shoots lasters.) Oh, the laster eyes! Why did I give them to him?
:Bart: What the...? I tried to bad and I did good.
:Lovejoy: Haw-haw!
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:Rod: Daddy, did you make that devil's music? 
:Ned: It wasn't me, boys. It was the train.
:Todd: What train, Daddy?
:Ned: It-It was right there. With the and the, you know.
:Rod: Jesus cries blood every time you lie.
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:Clancy Wiggum: Things on the ground are out of my jurisdiction.
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: Chalmers: I oversee fourteen schools and I always find myself at yours discussing a Simpson kid.
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:Gil Gunderson: I'm alive and you're my naked fairy god boy!
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:Bart: (on a window washing platform) The last place anyone would expect to see a moon - the sky. (drops his shorts to the windows as the platform rises)
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:Homer: When we see each other again, you'll be an old man and I'll be a baby!
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:Homer: First the good news: two of your kids are not locked in the car.
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:Homer: Cake, will you make my stomach the happiest bag of acid in the world?
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:Lisa: [gasps] Otto? Are you the one that left the message on the blackboard?
:Otto: Yeah. It was me. I was the bus driver, when those sweet young angles were swallowed up by the river. [sobs, unbuckles the belt to his coat, and walks towards the river] Now I'm gonna join them.
:Lisa: OTTO! They're just mannequins!
:Otto: Then...I'm not responsible for a horrible tragedy! And I didn't do anything wrong by fleeing the scene, and not reporting it, and killing that hobo with the big mouth! [the Simpsons look at him strangely] I might've imagined that last part.
es:500 Keys/Frases
Category:Quotes
Category:Season 22 quotes