Tournament Terror

Tournament Terror is the 21st episode of Basket Sponge. It is also the Season 1 finale.
==Plot==
The POBA basketball tournament has arrived, and the Bulldogs are ready to compete---or are they? Despite the terrors that lie ahead, the team is prepared to face a not-so-deserving opponent.
==Transcript==
LeBron: Team, I've assembled you all here this morning for a very important practice....
Squidward: (gulp)
LeBron: It's the practice beyond all other practices....
Krabs: (trembling)
LeBron: This is so damn important...
SpongeBob: I can hardly stand the suspense!
LeBron: Cuz it's.....Squidward' birthday!
[A disco ball appears in the gym, as SpongeBob throws confetti]
Larry: That's not important, Coach! The tournament is TONIGHT!!!!
LeBron: I don't give a damn about that.
Patrick: Pin the tale on the walrus!!!!! (shoves a nail up LeBron's butt)
LeBron: …...(starts yelling something in German)
SpongeBob: What was that?
LeBron: Doesn't matter.
Squidward: Since it's my birthday, I can stay home and sleep instead of going to the tournament.
SpongeBob: Whaaaat? Heck no! Me and Patrick spent an entire episode trying to convince you to come! You're coming!
Plankton: That was sooooo 2 episodes ago! #IdontCare #PlanktonRules
Krabs: (steps on Plankton)
Plankton: #Ouch!!!!
LeBron: Larry has a point, everyone. We've got a tournament only a few hours away.
Krabs: We gonna kick BOOTY!!!!
Patrick: (strips his pants off) WOO-HOOO!!!! BOOTY TIME!!!!
LeBron: …..erm no.
Larry: Who are we killing... I mean who are we playing in the tournament?
LeBron: The Seatown Strikers. After we play them, the winner of the tournament shall be determined.
Larry: Seatown Strikers, eh? THEY WILL DIE.
Plankton: #TheyAreGoingDown!
Krabs: Shut up with the stupid hashtags!!!
Plankton: #Awww....
[On the roof, Adam is shown spying on them throw a crack in the ceiling]
Adam: Hmmm.....the Seatown Strikers.....
[Scene cuts to the Seatown Strikers practicing at their gym]
Strikers Coach: Team, we've got a big night ahead of us- (drops dead)
Random Player: Uh....Coach?
Adam: (in the corner with a gun) Tee-hee!
Random Player: (to Adam) Bruh, are you the janitor? Cuz, like, we need a mop, dude.
Adam: (faceplam)
[Scene changes to Adam entering HIS gym]
Adam: Greetings, team.
Sun Jeong: Kon'nichiwa!
Michael: Sup, Coach.
Squilliam: Have you come to scold us again?
Sandy: Or torture us again?
Fat Jessie: Or abuse us again?
Adam: No! Stop acting like I'm a horrible person!
Nebuchadnezzar: You ARE a horrible person!
Venice: A SEXY horrible person! (scoots closer to Adam)
Adam: Venice, we've discussed this. As assistant coach, you are not permitted to speak. So SILENCE!
Venice: Anything for you, hot stuff. Aw, crap! I spoke! Dang it, I did it again!
Adam: Shush! Anyway, team, I have an important announcement...
Michael: You're gonna abuse us-
Adam: NO! We have a chance to get into the tournament-
Sandy: Whaaaaaat???? How??? We failed you!!!
Adam: Let's just say, the Seatown Strikers won't be able to compete in tonight's game....
Squilliam: And we're next on the lineup? :D
Adam: Ohh....dang it. I forgot about that. Nah, we're like 12th or 13th on the lineup. Probably the Boss-Town Bonecrushers are next on the lineup.
Fat Jessie: Now what are we gonna do?
Adam: I guess I'll have to kill ALL the coaches of the teams ahead of us.
Venice: OR....simply sneak into the POBA President's office, and secretly change our position on the lineup!
Adam: But that would be cheating!
Venice: You freakin' MURDERED somebody!
Adam: Lol jk, I have no morals.
Venice: Good. Then go! Before it's too late!
Adam: Okay! Wait a second....I'm the one in charge around here! I should be making one of YOU worthless souls do my dirty work!
[The Tomahawks begin whispering among themselves]
Ash: I'LL do it!
[Team gasps]
Venice: But Ash! You're just a boy!
Ash: Let's not forget, I have demonic sorcery on my side.
Adam: Are you sure about this, Ash?
Ash: Positive.
Adam: Then go.
[Scene fades to reveal Ash is sneaking through the POBA President's air vents]
Ash: (peeping down upon the POBA President) Look at him. Sleeping like a baby.
POBA President: (snoring, feet resting on the desk)
Ash: (jumps onto the floor) Let's see, where are his files....(rummaging through his desk)
[Ash stumbles upon a sheet which lists all of the POBA teams and where they finished]
Ash: Perfect! Now, I simply change the Toon Tomahawks from #13, to #3! Mwah-hah-hah-hah!!!
POBA President: (wakes up) Eh? What the hell!
Ash: I summon the power of a demon!
[The Flying Dutchman appears in the office]
Flying Dutchman: Ahoy!
Ash: (faceplam) Anyone but him!
Flying Dutchman: (gets in the POBA President's face) Hello!
POBA President: AAAHHHH!!!!! (pees himself, then jumps out the window)
Ash: Well that went well.
[Scene cuts to SpongeBob watching TV in his pineapple]
Johnny Elaine: We interrupt this program with some breaking news! Jonathan Dick, coach of the Seatown Strikers.....tee-hee, Dick.......was mysteriously killed this morning! So, taking their place in tonight's tournament is the next-closest team......The Toon Tomahawks! Don't miss tonight's gruesome game, Bulldogs vs Tomahawks! Who will win? How should I know? I'm just a talking fish head!
[SpongeBob cuts the TV off]
SpongeBob: Oh....my....gosh.
[SpongeBob calls LeBron]
SpongeBob: LeBron! Where are you?
LeBron: (on the phone) Definitely not a nude beach....
SpongeBob: The only beach in Bikini Bottom?
LeBron: Yeah...
SpongeBob: That's not a nude beach.
LeBron: Ohhh.....that explains why I'm currently getting kicked out.
SpongeBob: Anyway, the coach of the Strikers was killed. Now we're playing the Toon Tomahawks instead!
LeBron: That's impossible! They were #13 on the lineup!
SpongeBob: Not according to the sheet!
LeBron: Something's fishy about this....
SpongeBob: Hey! I take offense to that!
LeBron: Gotta go, I'll call you back. I'm being placed in handcuffs. #NotANudeBeach #Ooops
SpongeBob: Yeah don't do Plankton's hashtag thing....(hangs up)
1 Hour Until the Tournament
[LeBron and the rest of the team arrived at the parking lot outisde the Golden Gym]
Plankton: Why do they call it the 'Golden Gym'?
Krabs: Because it's made of pure gold, DOOFUS!
Plankton: (bites Krabs' toe)
Krabs: AHHHHH!!!!!
Plankton: Mmm. Tastes like crablegs.
LeBron: Bruh, it's called the Golden Gym because it's the most honorable gym in all of Bikini Bottom. Only the true legends make it here.
SpongeBob: I can't belive our team has made it this far! What a great season!
Larry: (sniff) It makes me proud to call you idiots my teammates.
Squidward: I still hate all of you lol.
LeBron: Don't get too comfortable yet, team! In an hour, our time has come! All the hard work we've put into the season will be reflected in how play this game.
[Adam's truck pulls into the parking lot, with rock music flaring]
Adam: Sup, losers!
LeBron: (balls his hand into a fist) Adam.....
Adam: Well, well, well, if it isn't LeBrownie.
LeBron: Adam!!! You have NO business in tonight's game! You didn't earn it!
Adam: Perhaps I didn't, Oh Great One, but after the death of the Strikers' coach, my team is next in line to take their place! You suckas are goin' down!
LeBron: Adam, you cheated. I don't know how, but you cheated. You mothertrucking piece of shi-
Adam: YOU WILL KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, OR YOU'RE GONNA GET IT.
[Him, Venice, and Ash get out of the truck, and approach the gym]
Adam: (to LeBron) See you inside. (enters)
LeBron: Grrr.......let's kill 'em.
Larry: Literally?
LeBron: Maybe after the game. But as of now, just metaphorically.
Larry: Ahh.
[The rest of the Toon Tomahawks arrive at the parking lot]
Michael: G'day, losers. (he enters the building with the rest of the Tomahawks)
[Squilliam and Sandy do not enter with the rest of their team; they stay outisde]
Squilliam: Sandy, let's go inside.
Sandy: (awkwardly looking at Squidward)
Squidward: H-....hey.
Sandy: …..hey.
Squilliam: Sandy! Get your eyes off him! He's our enemy, babe! C'mon! (drags her inside)
Squidward: (sigh)
LeBron: I know it hurts, Squid.
Squidward: Yeah. I'd do anything to get her back.
LeBron: I know that feel, bro.
Squidward: (sigh)
LeBron: Let's get in that gym and destroy 'em, eh?
Squidward: I don't know...
LeBron: C'mon, Squid. We've got a tournament to win.
SpongeBob: That's the spirit!
LeBron: Who are we?
Team: Bulldogs!
LeBron: Who are we?
Team: Bulldogs!!!!
LeBron: I can't hear you!!!!
Team: BULLDOGS!!!!!!!!!!!
[The teammates put all of their hands in]
Team: 1, 2, 3, BULLDOGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[The team busts into the Golden Gym with all of their energy]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!
[Team huddle]
LeBron: Alright, guys, there's no turning back.
Squidward: (walking away with a suitcase and bathing suit) Wait, no? Dang it!
LeBron: I expect the best out of all of you.
SpongeBob: You got it, Coach!
Patrick: (sits on LeBron) Alrighty, Couch!
LeBron: It's COACH not COUCH! (facepalm) If there's one thing I've learned this season, it's that Patrick is an idiot.
Squidward: And playing basketball is a bad idea.
LeBron: (sigh) Not now, Squidy.
Squidward: Whatever.
LeBron: And Larry, no killing anyone on our team.
Larry: I'll have a positive mindset, I promise, Coach.
LeBron: Good. Now, the game is starting in less than 3 minutes.
Krabs: I am so PUMPED!!!
LeBron: (closes his eyes) Dear Lord, please help us to win this game.
Patrick: (spraying a can of whipped cream into his mouth)
LeBron: …...we're gonna need it.
AT THE OTHER END
Adam: This is it, team. We've cheated hard to get here.
Michael: I don't know, something just doesn't feel right, Coach.
Adam: Shuddap, Mikey! This is our shot at finally winning something!
Sandy: (staring across the court at Squidward).......(sigh)
Squilliam: SANDY!!!!! What did I say about staring at him? He's GARBAGE!
Sandy: (getting angry) I'm starting to think YOU'RE garbage, Squilliam.
Squilliam: Well, in that case, you can forget about US. After this game, I'm movin' out of Bikini Bottom for GOOD!
Sandy: Good, I never wanna see your ugly face ever AGAIN!!
Venice: Guys! Settle down!
Adam: Venice, I'm the head coach. I'll handle this.....ahem......guys! Settle down!
Sun Jeong: (facepalm)
Adam: Alright, the game's starting. Get in there, and KILL 'EM! Ready, Tomahawks?
Michael: (sigh) Sure.
Ash: Whatever.
Announcer: On this side, we have the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs!!!!
[SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Krabs, and Larry enter the court]
Announcer: And on this side, we have the Toon Tomahawks!!!
[Michael, Sandy, Sun Jeong, Fat Jessie, and Nebuchadnezzar enter the court]
[Plankton is on the Bulldogs' bench; Ash and Squilliam are on the Tomahawks' bench]
The buzzer beeps. The game begins.
Larry:' (wins the jump ball, dribbles down the court)
Adam: (chuckles, like he knows what's going to happen for his team and not the oponnents.)
Mr Krabs: (trips on a hole in the floor, as Plankton bit his leg. He lands on the floor.)
Plankton: Damnit, Eugene! You could have cost us the game!
Mr Krabs: (getting up as quickly as he can) Shut up, Sheldon.
Patrick: Where's my balls? (gets hit in the head by the ball)
Larry: (grabs the ball)
LeBron: When did we start going into dodgeball?
Adam: When someone stopped caring about the tournament.
SpongeBob: Get up, Patrick.
Patrick: (he has damage from the hit of the ball) Okay, pretty girl.
SpongeBob: Get him off, Get Plankton on.
(The Toon Tomahawk's score a point behind SpongeBob and Patrick's back.)
Announcer: The Toon Tomahawk's have scored the first point of the game in the first 5 minutes!
Larry: Sorry guys, I let go of the ball too late.
Michael: And he gave it straight to us...
SpongeBob: Get on the bench. Right, we seem to be not up to scratch.
Larry: This is the tournament SpongeBob, we can't end up in our own sh-.
SpongeBob: Lebron isn't really in this game. We are, the star players. Now do you want to feel like you are the first or the second?
The Other Bulldog Members: FIRST!
LeBron: I'm right here guys! But where is Adam and Venice?
Adam: (Escapes from a door.) Damn it.
(Everyone is surprised...)
Adam: You think I had sex?
The game continues... We have trial and error.
SpongeBob: Don't lose!
Adam: Win for the team!
LeBron: Don't you dare listen to that 'person'!
Adam: What the hell does that mean?
The scoring goes haywire.
Patrick: (Scores 1 goal)
Announcer: That is now Toon Tomahwaks still at 4, But the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs has now tied with them.
Sun: (Scores a epic goal, better than Patrick's.)
Announcer: Toon Tomahawks are now at 7, Bikini Bottom Bulldogs has 6.
Later on...
Announcer: It's half time, we have the Bulldogs at 22 and the Tomahawks at 24!
LeBron: I think something else which still seems fishy.
SpongeBob: I take offense still!
LeBron: Anyways, It's halftime. We have the rest of the game to win or your heads are on kebab sticks.
Mr Krabs: OOoo... Kebab sticks.
LeBron: Sorry, Krabs. They aren't as good as you think.
SpongeBob: As LeBron says, we need to continue on... but in the way of winning. Because if we don't... We will be useless.
Adam: (shouting across the hall) You don't want to be useless... (he gives a evil look.)
The game is now in the locked into battle mode over the second half. Everyone is battiling through hoops; near deaths and calls. We now go into the final minute.
LeBron: Final minute. The score is 68 - 68. One more score and we are done. But if they get the one more score, we're dead. SpongeBob! Have the ball!
SpongeBob: But LeBron! You know what happens?
LeBron: Please!
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob is running towards the Tomahwawks goal, with only 20 seconds left. He dribbles it but he bounces it too hard and it flies out of his hands as it goes nearly into the hoop but misses it and goes on the floor as the game has ended.)
Announcer: And that is a tie for The Bikini Bottom Bulldogs and The Toon Tomahawks.
LeBron: (He walks to Adam who is admitting defeat, pulls a gun out one of his pockets. Everyone gasps at this destruction.)
SpongeBob: What the hell?
Venice: Don't you dare!
Adam: That's your gun?
LeBron: It's yours, you left it underneath our bench.
Adam: (checks his pockets, finds out the gun is the one that LeBron is holding.) So, you're holding my gun. Shoot me and everyone is going to know. So, what do you do? Be the hero, or become one like me.
LeBron: (He urges to pull the trigger, everything Adam has done in the past season is all his fault, but he's just 25; He then stops his anger and throws it away.) Go and kill me now.
Adam: I'm not.
LeBron: I'm sorry, what?
Adam: I'm not going to kill you, since you didn't do it. You couldn't do it. I will never. But guess what, I forgive you. For the first time since in ages, I'm forgiving the enemy of my ways.
(They both hug each other, to forgive both of them. Everyone claps.)
Adam: I no longer acknowledge you as my worst enemy but as a aqautenince. It's to show us the error. But to tell you the exact results, you won over one point.
The Bulldogs: Wait, what?
Adam: After Mr. Star encountered his injury with the ball hitting his head, our team were suppoused to have given you the ball but we carried on, eventually the point did not count. So, the results are 67 for us and 68 for you. Seems like a good ending.
(The Bulldogs all cheer as they have won the tournament, the matches are done for and that seems to be it for them, the Tomahawks sigh in shame but clap for the Bulldogs. The Tomahawks leave the hall, Adam carrying Venice like they married.)
[The Next Day]
LeBron: I present a promotion for a certain person who helped us win the Tournament yesterday. A certain SpongeBob SquarePants has been promoted to Assistant Coach.
SpongeBob: Thank you, LeBron.
(They then all gather round for a selfie of all of them around LeBron.)
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