The Journal of Johnathan Miller

February 2, 2018
I had my first appointment today. Janice seems to think it went well but she has always been an optimist, even when we were kids. I guess I had to balance the family out. Dr. Calloway seems to think that writing these things down will help. I use to write all the time so maybe it won’t be too bad. Dr. Calloway seems like a nice guy, I just don’t know how much good his sessions will do. The faucet is leaking again and I should probably do something about it. That constant drip is so annoying.
February 4, 2018
I tossed and turned most of the night the other day and was only able to really get to sleep until morning. I ended up sleeping most of the day which hasn’t happened in a long time. I probably would have slept even longer if Janice had not stopped by with my dinner. I know she promised mom that she would look after me but sometimes she acts like I am still a little kid. I mean, I know where McDonald’s is, I could get my own burger. On a lighter note, I think I fixed the faucet. I haven’t heard it drip today. It’s amazing what you can teach yourself to do with Youtube videos.
February 5, 2018
The mail man stood at my door for a long time today before putting the mail through the slot. I could be wrong but it seemed like a good thirty minutes. I could not see clearly through the opaque glass at the top of the door but it sure seemed like he was just standing there. I tried to get a better look through the window but he had shoved my mail in and took off down the steps before I could see what he was doing. Janice said that I was probably exaggerating how long he was standing there and I guess that’s possible but still it really did seem longer than necessary. Oh and that faucet started dripping again. I’m going to have to call a plumber in the morning.
February 6, 2018
Plumber finally fixed my faucet. He said it was pretty old but he happened to have the right parts. I really did not need that $130 bill but it will be worth it if I don’t have to listen to that nagging drip all night again. Janice stopped by with a friend. I think she is trying to hook me up but she knows how I feel about new people. I wish she would just let me be. I know she thinks I’m weird. I mean I am kind of weird I guess but I would rather not be reminded of it all the time. Her friend was nice enough though. I’m just not good with people. She had butterflies on her shirt though. Monarch butterflies actually, very beautiful. I did not say much and I doubt she will be back.
February 8, 2018
The faucet started leaking again and I called the plumber back. It kept me up all night the other night and I ended up sleeping through the day again. He is supposed to be here in the morning but I don’t know if I can standing listening to that sound another night. I swear it’s getting louder. I turned on the radio to try and drown it out for the time being. Janice stopped by and I told her about it. She thinks I’m over reacting. She asked me if I was taking my medicine. I know what she thinks but I am fine.
February 9, 2018
I have no idea how or why but the faucet stopped leaking before the plumber arrived. He took a look at it anyway and said there should not be a problem with it. I know that thing was leaking, it kept me up two nights in a row. I almost didn’t hear him knocking on my door. He told me to call back if it started leaking again and suggested installing a new faucet. I think he is just trying to get more money out of me. I caught the mail man standing at my door again today. This time I timed him, forty-five minutes. He stood at my door for almost an hour doing nothing. When I opened the door to confront the guy, he was gone. I ended up stepping on my package. Completely ruined my new keyboard. I guess I will have to keep typing on this old thing.
February 10, 2018
Dr. Calloway asked if I was taking my medicine too. I think Janice is telling him I’m not taking my pills. He did not seem to believe me when I answered his question. He probably won’t like this entry about him but I don’t like being treated like a liar. I choke those pills down every day, even though I don’t think they are working. I ordered another keyboard, it should be here in a few days. Janice called and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner tonight. I don’t feel like going out and I know she is probably going to surprise me with one of her work friends. I told her I would just order take-out instead. She seemed upset but I really don’t feel like going out.
February 11, 2018
I almost caught the mail man again yesterday. He’s just a little too quick for me. I was going to sit on my porch until he showed up but he never did. I told Janice about and she reminded me that it doesn’t run on Sundays. I had forgotten it was Sunday. I will wait for him tomorrow though. I had to call the plumber back, the faucet started dripping again. I had to leave a message, he must not work weekends. It looks like I’m going to have to suffer with that awful noise one more night.
February 12, 2018
The dripping isn’t coming from the faucet. I have no idea what it might be coming from but I noticed a thin crack in the ceiling this morning and as I stared a brown liquid oozed from it and dropped on my forehead. It has an awful smell. I don’t think I have ever smelled anything like it. It was thick like syrup too. If it were not for my allergies I would go up there and see what the problem is. I will have to ask Janice if she will check it out for me when she comes over. I canceled the appointment with the plumber, I might need roof work. I dread the thought of that. I sat on the porch waiting for the mail man but he passed by my house. I called for him but he acted like he didn’t hear me. I called the post office but they simply said I probably did not have any mail that day. I told her I was waiting on my keyboard and she tried to say that it might arrive tomorrow. How does she know that?
February 13, 2018
Janice came by to bring my prescription. She asked if I had been taking it. I hate answering that question. I asked her to check out the leak in the ceiling. She saw the crack but there was nothing dripping from it anymore. She agreed to go up in the attic but she swears that there is nothing leaking up there. I know something dripped on my face, I felt it.  I still haven’t received my keyboard or any other mail for that matter. I asked Janice to stop by the post office and check on it for me. I found more drops of that brown liquid on my floor and now the crack is bigger. I might just have to call a contractor to check on it. Janice obviously doesn’t know what she’s looking for.
February 14, 2018
I hate Valentine’s Day, so much lovey-dovey stuff around. Janice always brings me silly chocolates and cartoonish greeting cards. It’s so childish. I would rather just be left alone. She did not have my keyboard, she said she forgot to stop by the post office. She remembered the chocolates but not my keyboard. I showed her the crack again but she insists that it isn’t any bigger. I measured it once she left and it’s exactly eight inches long. I will keep a check on it. No mail again today.
February 15, 2018
Janice made another appointment with Dr. Calloway. She said she is concerned with some of my behavior. I have no idea what she means. I have always been a little weird. I’m not crazy, I just have my problems. That’s what the medicine is for and I swear I am taking those pills. I agreed to go to appease her though. She can be unrelenting when she gets on a subject. She gets that from our mother though. I think that’s why my father left when we were young. I doubt I could have been married to that woman either. The crack grew two inches today and I found more spots on the floor. They stain my carpet something terrible. I keep forgetting to call a contractor. Still no mail, I really want my keyboard.
February 16, 2018
Dr. Calloway wanted to up my dosage after speaking to Janice and reading my entries. He gave Janice the prescription and she filled it on the way home. She wanted to watch me take it. I argued that I was not a child but she insisted. I have never seen her that upset with me, so I took it. I don’t like how it makes me feel. My head feels foggy and I just want to sleep. I don’t think I will take it tomorrow and see how I feel. I don’t really want to write these anymore either. It just gets me in trouble. Side note: Still haven’t seen the mail man.
February 23, 2018
It has been a week but I had to let you know I finally caught the mail man. He won’t be bothering me anymore. I stopped taking that medicine and I feel so much better. Janice has not come by this week either, she usually does. Dr. Calloway tried calling today but I did not answer. He is just going to ask if I am taking my medicine and I would rather not lie. I hate how that stuff makes me feel. Side note: The ceiling started dripping that brown liquid again so I called a contractor to come take a look. He is supposed to be here in the morning.
February 24, 2018
I had trouble sleeping last night. The dripping sound was louder and I could have sworn I heard something moving around up there. The contractor came by but from the way he acted when he went up in the attic I don’t think he can help me with my problem. I will call another one tomorrow. Dr. Calloway called again, I did not answer but this time he left a message. He was asking if I had seen Janice and I have no idea why he would ask me that. I’m not her keeper. Plus he kept calling me Johnathan and I’m the one he wants taking medication? I don’t even know a Johnathan.
February 25, 2018
The mail man was banging on my door today but that is impossible. I screamed for him to just leave my mail at the door or put it through the slot and go away. Hundreds of letters fell through the slot. I honestly have never received so much mail at once. I asked about the keyboard but got no response and when I opened the door he was gone. The keyboard was not out there either but I decided to sift through the letters I received. It appeared to be all the mail I had not received over the last week and then some. What is strange is that I went to open one of the letters and there was some of that inky brown liquid in it like what is coming from my ceiling.
February 26, 2018
I thought the mail man was back but it was only Dr. Calloway. He was still calling me Johnathan and that made me upset. I told him to go away but he said he was going to call the cops if I did not let him in. I told him to go ahead, I had done nothing wrong. He left after that. I hope I don’t see him again. I am tired of talking to him. He left but the mail man showed up not long after. The stuff from the ceiling dripped on my head and it turned my attention away from the door. The crack is over a foot long now. When I looked back the mail man was gone but I had a new letter. When I picked it up I was not sure how to react. It was that brown liquid again but had “I KNOW,” written on the outside. When I opened it up there was a picture of me and Janice. We looked happy but I don’t remember taking the picture. I turned the picture over and it said, “Janice and Johnathan 2016”. I’m starting to think this is a cruel joke between Dr. Callaway and Janice. I’m glad she hasn’t stopped by or I would have to give her a piece of my mind.
February 27, 2018
The mail came early and I had another letter. It is written like the last one and it said, “I’M COMING.” The mail man did not stick around this time. The leak is worse and there is a rather large brown spot on my carpet. I forgot to call another contractor and now I will need someone to clean my carpet. I tried to call Janice to confront her about the picture and the letters but she must have left her phone here. I found it in the spare bedroom. Dr. Calloway called me once again and left a message. He told me that if I did not call him back and tell him where Janice was he was calling the cops. I had missed the call, it was about an hour ago. Someone is pounding on the door.
Category:L0CKED334
Category:Mental Illness
Category:Diary/Journal