Let's Play Ultima IV: Episode Three

==Episode Three==
===Hosts===
*Cirosan
*Tandy
*No One
*and special guest KrewL RaiN
===Run Down===
Last time on the show we left the party with our newest member Iolo dead and for some reason Big Boss Richard G. decided that she was not worth reviving. Perhaps he did not deem her worthy of his glorious golden healing blinding seisure inducing screech. Oh well, we will push on anyway. At the gates of the capital city who's name I still have not caught/paid attention to Ciro proudly proclaims that we know what lies in all directions save for West. However, if you recall from the last episode we actually had EXPLICIT instructions to head East across two bridges to continue the story. Huh, I wonder if Ciro remembers that? Let's see which way he goes. Oh, West? I guess he doesn't remember.
Well, I guess West isn't a total loss. I mean, we do find some chests that we don't open for fear of poision and we do get some experiance. Oh and would you look at that, we stumble directly into the village of Paws. Will anything exciting happen? Not bloody likely! And if you thought so you obviously haven't been reading these Run Downs OR watching the LPs so why are you reading this now? Moving on we find...well. We find Little John. I am going to pretend that I have NEVER seen this name before and it is TOTALLY a creative thing that just happened. There, let's go.
Last episode we also determined that we need magic to proceed, as paying to have your poision removed costs entierly too much money and it's not like we could get Superman Richard G to actually join us and prove useful somehow. Luckily for us, there is a merchant in this VERY TOWN that happens to sell reagents for spells! How lucky! Now only if we could fucking...talk...to this...damn...STOP RUNNING AWAY YOU FUCKING - oh, there we go. Finally. Reagents in hand we can now push on and try to learn what Valor is. Or was it Justice? Does it matter? It's the story that we need to follow and after nearly an entire episode of playtime we might be nearing something that looks like a story.
Pretty boring here so far...fighting some snakes...killed a few bandits..and - holy shit! Were fighting on a boat! And now we stole the damned thing! Hey we might just be getting somewhere now! WOW! Nothing can possibly go wrong now! I mean, we are still down a dead party member and we still need to find some bridges, but who needs either party members OR bridges to the East when you've got a damned boat?
Not us, thats right we are just going to take this boat and - oh. Apprently we are going to stumble around in the woods for a while? Thats cool too, it's not like we were excited about that boat or anything. I suppose it pays off, we do end up reviving our fallen member and then force him to heal himself. Good times. We do also manage to gain a new member, Jaana the Druid. I hope she likes boats, lots of boats in her future.
So, I suppose the druids were actually kind of important. Not only did we get a new party member, but we learned that new next chant is "Beh... Beh..." With that knowledge in hand, we are off to meditate! While I doubt the validity of a holy all powerful mantra being Beh. We are also now joined by Hellsive, but I can't actually hear what he is saying, so until something notable comes up we will just pretend he is as much a host as No One is.
At long last, we begin meditation and...wow. Beh is actually the montra that will grant us a vision, but, suddenly karma reaches down with a huge hand to deliver the biggest bitch slap throughout this whole Let's Play and we are UNABLE to recieve the vision due to having short changed a blind woman to the tune of about 80 gold. I suppose that wasnt the most just thing we could have done, all things considered. Moving on, I suppose.
Wow, karma is a BITCH. We now find ourselves STARVING and ALONE lost in the middle of nowhere and every single step drains our health by 2HP and these spells wont keep us alive for long. I suppose this is what we get for hastling every single denizen of the kingdom with innane questions, bothering the king and draining his endless mana reserves, and, of course, cheating a BLIND WOMAN.
Wow, this is running on pretty long now, seems like these Let's Plays are getting a little more action packed. Here is a bullet point list of everything else that happens. Let's get this damn thing over with!
*The Final Countdown
*Too many fights to ennunemerate
*Anger
*Apathy
*Out of sync map summoning songs
*Tardis abuse
*Lost in a dark cave
*FIRST PERSON GRAPHICS
*Beholders. We are sooooo screwed.
*The heavy, sad, tears of a grown man defeated
*The happy, warm embrace of death
And once again we end an episode, much like I started this sentance, incorrectly. Did we get anything done? Did we advance the story? Did we even level up? I don't even remember anymore.
Be sure to join us next time though, maybe something fun will happen? Not likely!
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