Rainbowmageddon/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Rainbowmageddon".
== ==
(In the morning, there is a rainbow above Troll Village. Poppy wakes up in her pod.)
Poppy: (sighs) Good morning, Troll Vill- (She gasps and sees the rainbow.) Rainbow! (Branch looks through his telescope and gets out of his bunker.)
Branch: (gasps) Rainbow!
Guy Diamond: (gasps) Rainbow! (All the residents run toward the rainbow. Suddenly, a part of it cracks and a piece falls down.)
Troll #1: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Huh? ARGH! (The Trolls scream and run away except for Guy Diamond.)
Guy Diamond: (moans) Catastroph-tastic. (Poppy sees him about to get hit by the falling piece and jumps.)
Poppy: (In slow-motion) NO! (She moves Guy Diamond out of the way just in time. The piece lands, knocking the running Trolls over. Poppy, Guy Diamond, and some of the Trolls look at the piece in a hole.)
Guy Diamond: W-what just happened?!?
Branch: I’ll tell you what happened. Rainbowmageddon. (The confused Trolls look at each other.)
Branch: Like Armageddon, but with a rainbow.
Guy Diamond: Yeah, that went over my head.
Poppy: Branch, we’re Trolls! Show, don’t tell.
Branch: (Groaning while doing a face palm) OK, listen up. (He takes out a book.) The rainbow cracked and a large chunk broke loose.
Troll #2: Uh... I wish I had a friend with me.
Troll #2 and #3: All right! Friend!
Branch: And more chunks will follow. So we need to fly up to the rainbow and repair it fast, or else...BOOM! (He does more explosion sounds.)
Poppy: Uh... Branch, don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes you jump to the darkest...
Satin: ... The bleakest...
Cooper: ... The craziest conclusions ever!
Poppy: So, before we assume an absolute cataclysm, I’m gonna get a second opinion.
Cloud Guy: (offscreen) I’ve got a second opinion.
Branch: Who said that?
Cloud Guy: It was...
Branch: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding!
Cloud Guy: Me. (He appears out of Branch’s mouth and he coughs.)
Poppy: Cloud Guy!
Cloud Guy: Heard you muchachos have a rainbow problem, and I happen to know some fine folks who can lend a hand. By which I mean, me, myself and moi. (He pops his clones.)
Cooper: What? Now, how did he do that?
Branch: Nope! Forget it! No-one’s gonna take a hand from you. (He grabs one of Cloud Guy’s arms and his hand pinches his nose.) Argh!
Cloud Guy: (As his arm moves back into his body) Your actions say otherwise. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. (He moves over to Poppy and makes a rainbow with his hands.) I’m a rainbow expert. (Poppy giggles.)
Branch: No way. (The rainbow disappears.) Not possible.
Cloud Guy: Hello? I’m a cloud. I’ve lived near rainbows my entire life. Almost married one once.
Cooper: Me too! Rainbows, am I right? (He and Cloud Guy do a fist bump.)
Cloud Guy: So, here’s the skinny, Equatorial New Guinea. Despite what Captain Doom and Gloom says, “Your rainbow sitch ain’t no big thing.”
Branch: Uh. (Cloud Guy pushes a chalk board.)
Cloud Guy: You see, a prismatic anomaly resulted in asymmetric saturation points. (He talks very fast.) Fortunately, the spectrum load has stabilized. Or, in lay-Troll’s terms... (coughs) Branch, we’ve got plenty of time to fix the crack.
Poppy: Oh. Very informed position. Branch, counterargument?
Branch: Yeah, I’ve got a counterargument. That’s Cloud Guy!
Poppy: Mm-hm. So the rainbow’s a problem we should go fix, but not something to panic about?
Cloud Guy: Exactamundo! (He puts the chalk board away.)
Poppy: Great! Lower the threat level to DEFCON brownies, guys. (A Troll lowers the threat level.) Cloud Guy, will you lead our team to repair the rainbow?
Cloud Guy: Well, I hardly need a team to do this patch job, but sure, come along. It will be a hoot!
Branch: Poppy, no! Don’t make him leader. All he’ll do is goof off.
Poppy: Branch, I know you’re worried, which is making you uptight, but that’s no excuse to be rude.
Cloud Guy: Oh, don’t mind that. Branch goes to a lot of trouble pretending I annoy him. But deep down, he really likes me.
Branch: No, I definitely don’t like you!
Poppy: Look, Branch, Cloud Guy’s the expert, so he’s leading the mission. Now, either you get on board with that or don’t go at all. (Cloud Guy smiles.)
Branch: (grunts) Fine! But you better start taking this seriously.
Cloud Guy: Wouldn’t have it any other way. (Later, some Trolls are getting the rocket ready for the mission. The crowd cheers as Cloud Guy, Poppy and her friends appear from a bug vehicle. They walk slowly as the crowd watches. Branch runs up to them.)
Branch: Argh! Why are you guys walking so slow?
Cloud Guy: (Walking and talking like he is in slow-motion) Because we look so epic. (Branch grunts. Soon, he, Poppy, Satin, Chenille, Biggie, Guy Diamond, and Cooper are in the rocket ship putting on their seatbelts.)
Branch: Glitter-off in T-minus 10 minutes. Running through safety checklist.
Cloud Guy: Ooh, good point. Safety first! (He sits on Branch, puts on his seatbelt and squeezes him against his seat.)
Branch: (grunts) Hey, get off!
Cloud Guy: Take off? OK. Boop! (He presses the button and the rocket takes off. Most of the crew have their arms in the air and are laughing and cheering. The rocket soon lands on the rainbow.)
Rocket: (Sticking out its tongue) Bleugh.
Cloud Guy: (Imitating a radio crackle) One small step for clou- (Branch pushes him aside.) Argh!
Branch: Enough antics! (He, Poppy and Cloud Guy slide down the tongue. Then he looks at the crack.) Let’s just unload so we can fix this thing. (He takes out his repair kit.) Rainbow repair. (He opens the box.) Let’s see. Got my trowel. Ooh! (He takes out a drill and turns it on.) My dual-driver power drill. Hey, what’s this? (He takes out a small rocket and purple glasses.) Where are the rest of my tools? (When he looks in the box, purple glitter is sprayed on him.)
Cloud Guy: Threw them out. Had to make room for my party supplies. (Cooper blows a party horn.)
Chenille: Ooh! We’re having a party?
Branch: No! Poppy, come on.
Poppy: Branch does have a point, Cloud Guy. Shouldn’t we fix the rainbow first?
Cloud Guy: Actually, not yet. (He takes out a chart.) See... radiance infusion can result in bilateral hue displacement, unless you wait for the idea photon progression, so we still have 46 minutes.
Poppy: Oh. Well, great. Sounds like he’s got it under control.
Cloud Guy: Sure do. (He takes off his glasses and they shatter.) Besides, ain’t no party like a rainbow party. (He takes out a rainbow guitar and starts singing It’s Party Night. As he sings, all the Trolls except for Branch have fun on the rainbow like if they are on the beach.)
(Cloud Guy)
Just got dressed, look so fresh
Feeling like a million, nothing less
Pick the right energy, turn it up
Shine like the sun
Don’t stunt your strut
Time is now, let’s ride around
And spread the love we’re feeling now
This is why we spread our wings
Flying high, pursue our dreams
You are all my favorite team
This is why I-I
The time is now and we’ll show you all
We’re gonna turn it up
Until the break of dawn
Just dancing to our favorite song
Because it’s party night
And it feels all right
Goes on and on and on
(All)
Hey!
(Cloud Guy)
It’s party night tonight
(All)
Hey!
(Cloud Guy)
Put your hands up, feel all right
(All)
Hey!
Got to get down, make it tight
(All)
Hey!
(Cloud Guy)
Because it’s party night tonight (Poppy throws a beach ball into the air and she and her friends cheer. The ball hits Branch.)
Branch: Fine. I’ll do it on my own. (He takes out his tools and uses his hair as a rope. He also uses bricks to fix the rainbow along with paint. He sighs in relief and sees the fixed rainbow. Then he goes to Poppy and her friends with a microphone.)
Poppy: Branch, where have you been?
Branch: Oh, nowhere. Just off fixing the rainbow and saving the village… by myself!
Cloud Guy: Uh... first, we clouds have a saying: “Explain it, don’t rain it,” Branch. And second, you couldn’t have fixed the rainbow yet. (He takes out a board again.) The illumination nexus is still- (Branch breaks the board in half.)
Branch: Forget all that! I just used plain old bricks and mortar.
Cloud Guy: Oh.
Branch: Besides, I think you say all that to hide the fact that you’re a time-wasting clown!
Poppy: Branch, easy.
Cloud Guy: Ah, let him get it out. I know under this very grumpy, very average-looking shell, he still likes me.
Branch: Wrong! Get it through your brain vapor! Cloud! I don't like you, AND I'LL NEVER LIKE YOU!
Cloud Guy: (sad) I see. Well, in that case, I’ll just. (He walks away and Poppy is now angry.)
Poppy: Branch!
Branch: Sorry, Poppy, but it had to be done. And nothing will change my mind. (Suddenly, the rainbow starts shaking.)
All: (looks at Guy Diamond.) Hm.
Guy Diamond: Oh, sure! Blame the mysterious rumble on the guy who farts glitter! Real nice. (The fixed part of the rainbow cracks and falls to the ground like an asteroid. Branch yells as more cracks appear by his feet.)
Cloud Guy: Branch, when you were patching the crack, please tell me you left ventilation holes.
Branch: Are those... a thing? (Some ventilation holes break. Poppy and her friends are now surrounded by dust and cracks.)
Poppy: Branch, what did you do?!
Branch: I-I don’t know! But I promise I’ll find some way to fix it.
Cloud Guy: We can’t fix it now. It’s only a matter of time before the hole thing falls on Troll Village! Our only hope is to blow it up into a billion tiny, harmless pieces. (He spits out another box.) I brought this along in case our rainbow bash got truly epic. A 50-mega party popper. (He opens the box with a stick and a huge rocket appears. Branch and Guy Diamond gasp.)
Guy Diamond: Annihil-icious.
Cloud Guy: (Putting his hand on Guy Diamond) Annihil-isious indeed. But there’s a catch. (He pushes Guy Diamond and Branch aside.) Some poor soul must stay behind to detonate it. (Poppy and her friends gasp.)
Cloud Guy: As team leader, I’ll go down with the ‘bow I’ll give you to 100. 100. Good-bye, Mom. 99. Good-bye, Dad. 98. Good-bye, all my brothers and sisters. Well, except Jeff. You know what you did!
All: Aw! (The rainbow cracks some more.)
Cloud Guy: 97. 96. (He sits down.)
Branch: Cloud Guy, this isn’t right. Please let me blow the popper.
Cloud Guy: What do you care? You don’t even like me. You said it yourself.
Branch: OK, yes, I did. But I didn’t mean it, OK? Come on!
Cloud Guy: Oh, you’re just saying that because I’m actively guilting you into it.
Branch: No! I mean, yes, but... Look, you drive me crazy... but deep down... You know, deep... Like, really, really deep, deep-
Poppy: Branch!
Branch: Huh? OK, deep down... I like you.
Cloud Guy: Aw! (He throws the rocket aside.) Was that so hard? (The rocket explodes.) OK, I’ll fix everything now… (He talks in a deep voice.) ..With Cloud Powers! (He glows and rise into the air.)
Branch: Cloud Powers? (Cloud Guy grows bigger and the rainbow is completely fixed. Poppy and her friends stare in disbelief.)
Branch: What?! You could do that the whole time?
Cloud Guy: Uh.... Yeah.
Poppy: But you said the rainbow couldn’t be fixed anymore.
Cloud Guy: No, I said you couldn’t fix it. You see, the truth can be whatever you want, Poppy, if you’re selective.
Poppy: Uh... I don’t feel great about that being the lesson of this adventure.
Cloud Guy: It was fun though, wasn’t it?
Poppy: (snorts and laughs) Yeah, it was! (She continues laughing.)
Cloud Guy: Plus, now that he’s confessed he likes me, this guy and I have never been closer. So close!
Branch: Yeah, yeah. You got what you want. Now, will you please leave me alone?
Cloud Guy: As you wish. (He snaps his fingers and he and the Trolls teleport back into the rocket ship.)
Poppy: Uh... where’s Branch?
Cloud Guy: He said he needed some “alone” time. (He presses the button and the rocket flies off the rainbow, leaving Branch behind.)
Branch: THIS ISN’T WHAT I MEANT! CLOUD GUUUUUUY!!! (The rocket flies around the camera screen.)
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