Tardigrade vs Immortal Jellyfish

The hardy eight-legged segmented micro-animal, Tardigrade, and the jellyfish that can restart its life cycle all over again, Immortal Jellyfish, rap against each other to see who is the better death cheater.
Tardigrade Background: Inside a dangerous red-hot lava tube
Immortal Jellyfish Background: A coral reef
Beat: The Cost of Success
== Battle ==
(starts at 0:10)
FERAL RAP BATTLES OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM
TARDIGRADE
VS
IMMORTAL JELLYFISH
BEGIN!
=== Tardigrade ===
(0:21)
This plankton freak has never faced a mind sharp like my claws
My mouth stylet's out I'll suck you body fluids with a straw!
From sandy dunes to ocean trenches to Antarctic ice layers
From mountaintops to hot springs you bet I'm not a nice player!
I survive radiation, boiling water, dehydration
Suffocation, acid, alcohol, salt, ether and starvation!
And even absolute zero in the fucking Kelvin scale!
I'm the 2.0 descendant of the pimps from Burgess Shale
You got an incomplete gut, that's why you drop shit from your mouth
Even in cryptobiosis, I can still shake up the house!
=== Immortal Jellyfish ===
(0:47)
Chill out, Shadow the Hedgehog, now prepare to get licked
Even in your spore-like state you can't survive the burns I inflict
And in my immortal life I have seen nothing as obscene
As how your wife lays eggs inside her old discarded skin!
You got these little stubby fingers and you can't quite grasp the fact
My body's 90% water and that's why my style's so wet!
Who wants to live forever? I most certainly don't hate it
Back to my polyp colony and voila, regenerated!
Since the time this battle started your telomeres have decayed
You may fly in space like a TARDIS but your disses are D-grade
You look like a gummi bear, science books describe as "cute"
And I really do agree only as long as you stay mute
=== Tardigrade ===
(1:19)
I'm the water Bear Grylls, tear you apart with my own hands!
And then I'll claim my victory for my Victoria Land!
I'll spread you in my toast and end your stupid fool's delirium
To beat the toughest extremophile since Conan the Bacterium!
You're Kubota's pet, you rap flows even slower than you swim!
Watch the Animal Planet, bitch: I'm The Most Extreme!
=== Immortal Jellyfish ===
(1:35)
Dude, what're you even saying? Your own name means slow!
Turritopsis' at the top and from Japan to Greece I flow
Don't mess with us cnidarians, you won't like us when we're swarming
I'm boosting jellyfish supremacy like global warning
It's a worldwide invasion, as we hitch-hike ballast water
And you're not a real extremophile: you hide when things get hotter!
This little moss pig was roasted in this verbal smacking
Now it's time to make like NASA and just leave him in the vacuum!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
FERAL RAP BATTLES-
(The logo turns into a baby form of itself.)
-of the animal kingdom!
-goo-goo-gah-gah!
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