2020 Power Rankings-Week 3

== Introduction ==
We're heading into week three and I've already hit "Oh shit, I forgot to do the power rankings" level of burnout. But we forge on. 
Limbs are snapping. We knew that the 2020 season was going to be wild, but I think we all expected game cancellations and COVID outbreaks. Instead, we have the result of no preseason games and less training. Knees as fragile as Pat's ego. Commish is finally catching breaks, but they are to all his players' legs. Injuries are rampent in the LOC, and it's so bad that a total of six players form last night's Dolphins/Jags game started somewhere in our league. Jaguars...Dolphins...For historians discovering this writeup in 100 years, the Jaguars and Dolphins were two football teams that really, really sucked. 
Speaking of sucking, we have two 0-2 teams. Now, if I were momma or Papa I would not panic just yet. From 2012-2019, seven teams started 0-2 and made the playoffs, while eleven 0-2 teams did not. That being said, 0-3 is basically a death sentence. We'll wait until next week for those numbers. 
Then there is Sweet Dee and Duck Punchers. 72% of 2-0 teams made the playoffs. These two teams do not face each other until week six, so there is a chance they win enough games to lock up playoffs before even meeting. 
== Stat Chat ==
* Garoppoblow Me logs the fifth-highest point total for a losing team in regular season history (7th highest reg/post combined). 
* Papa becomes the first team to reach 80 total losses. 
* Papa becomes the first team to reach 70 regular season losses. 
* Papa becomes...nah, that's it, I don't have anything else, but imagine if I did? 80 losses. Yeesh. 
* Duck is now 6-0 against Stupid Idiots. That moves them into 2nd all-time for most wins against a team without a loss. RIP holds the record with their 8-0 start against Dee from 2013-2017. 
* Sweet Dee's 2-game win streak meets or surpasses her longest win streak in 5 of her previous 7 seasons. 
* Momma notches a record-breaking 18th week in last place. 
== Most Reg Season Wins Against Opponent Without Loss ==
Most Reg Season Wins Against an Opponent Without a Loss (Minimum 3 games)
Matchup 	Record	Year
RIPDab vs. Sweet Dee 	8-0 	2013-2017
Duck vs. Stupid Idiots 	6-0 	2012-Active
Papa vs. Stupid Idiots 	5-0 	2012-Active
Momma Said vs. Sweet Dee 	5-0 	2013-2016
The Shotti Bunch vs. Papa 	5-0 	2012-2015
Momma vs. Shotti 	4-0 	2012-2015
Duck vs. JarJar 	4-0 	2015-Active
Duck vs. Momma 	4-0 	2011-2012
Duck vs. Pain Train 	4-0 	2011-2014
Garoppoblow Me vs. Stupid Idiots	3-0 	2012-2019
Garoppoblow Me vs. RIP 	3-0 	2011-2012
GBM vs. Papa 	3-0 	2011-2013
GBM vs. Paddock 9 	3-0 	2011-2012
JarJar vs. P9 	3-0 	2015-2016
RIP vs. Pain Train 	3-0 	2011-2012
MMMS vs. Stupid Idiots 	3-0 	2012-2019
IAMGROOT vs. Sweet Dee 	3-0 	2013-Active
Papa will have a chance to tie Duck's 6-0 win streak against Butt in week 7.
== Matchup Recap ==
* Paddock 9 picks up where he left off with a win in the Glory Bowl IX rematch vs. Pain Train (6-10). Next Matchup: N/A
* RIPDab blows his load and takes a rare victory over reeling Garoppoblow Me (7-12). Next Matchup: N/A
* Sweet Dee wins her third straight against ma ma momma said (5-8). Next Matchup: Week 7
* Duck Punchers narrowly beats Butt to stay undefeated against The Stupid Idiots (6-0). Next Matchup: N/A
* The Shotti Bunch gets a W on the board in yet another whooping of Papa's Posse (10-3). Next Matchup: Week 10
== The 300-Point Club ==
This week, RIPDab became the first person to score over 300 points since...the last time he scored over 300 points. That was back in week 5 of the 2019 season. He becomes the 5th team to have at least three 300-point games. His 46.48 point margin of victory is the most narrow margin ever for a team that scored over 300 points. Garoppoblow Me now owns the record for largest and smallest margin of defeat against a 300-plus point scorer.
=== Club Members ===
Team Name 	Games over 300 points	Total Points
GaroppoblowMe 	4 	1248.76
The Shotti Bunch 	3 	996.52
ma ma momma said 	3 	978.49
The Duck Punchers 	3 	976.59
RIPDab 	3 	910.87
Paddock 9 	2 	677.71
Pain Train WOO WOO	2 	669.89
The Stupid Idiots 	1 	337.80
Sweet Dee 	1 	312.30
Papa's Posse 	1 	302.53
=== 300-Point Club Statistics ===
Team 	Year	Total Points	Margin of Victory	Game Classification
ma ma momma said 	2012	367.12 	188.84 	Glory Bowl II
Pain Train WOO WOO	2017	359.58 	144.82 	Festival Quarterfinal
Paddock 9 	2018	358.65 	161.30 	Regular Season
The Shotti Bunch 	2013	355.42 	70.96 	Festival Quarterfinal
The Duck Punchers 	2014	338.18 	127.55 	Regular Season
The Stupid Idiots 	2019	337.80 	154.32 	Cinco De Lose-O
Garoppoblow Me 	2015	329.08 	102.96 	Regular Season
The Shotti Bunch 	2013	323.04 	91.04 	Glory Bowl III
The Duck Punchers 	2014	319.48 	153.29 	Festival Semifinal
Paddock 9 	2019	319.06 	50.47 	Regular Season
The Duck Punchers 	2013	318.93 	109.70 	Regular Season
The Shotti Bunch 	2017	318.06 	114.19 	Festival Semifinals
Garoppoblow Me 	2018	313.68 	132.44 	Regular Season
Sweet Dee 	2016	312.30 	63.41 	Regular Season
Pain Train WOO WOO	2013	310.31 	74.05 	Regular Season
ma ma momma said 	2013	309.37 	131.91 	Regular Season
RIPDab 	2020	307.50 	46.48 	Regular Season
Garoppoblow Me 	2018	304.76 	72.16 	Regular Season
Papa's Posse 	2011	302.53 	73.96 	Festival Quarterfinal
RIPDab 	2019	302.82 	70.03 	Regular Season
ma ma momma said 	2014	302.00 	111.17 	Regular Season
Garoppoblow Me 	2015	301.24 	106.43 	Regular Season
RIPDab 	2011	300.55 	112.28 	Regular Season
== Highest Point Totals by a Losing Team ==
All of these teams scored the point totals listed below in losing efforts at some point in their franchise history.
=== Regular Season ===
Team 	Year	Total Points
Bell of Da Ball 	2018	281.72
Duck Punchers 	2011	275.43
Sweet Dee 	2019	268.59
B-2 Hallway Gangstas	2011	264.88
Garoppoblow Me 	2020	261.02
ma ma momma said 	2016	260.01
Pain Train WOO WOO 	2013	259.51
Sweet Dee 	2018	256.95
Stupid Idiots 	2018	255.35
Paddock 9 	2019	253.18
ma ma momma said 	2014	255.20
Stupid Idiots 	2019	250.58
Paddock 9 	2019	249.84
ma ma momma said 	2014	249.13
Duck Punchers 	2016	248.89
RIPDab 	2019	247.27
The Shotti Bunch 	2016	246.83
ma ma momma said 	2018	246.24
Pain Train WOO WOO 	2017	246.23
Papa's Posse 	2016	245.68
Duck Punchers 	2013	245.07
The Shotti Bunch 	2012	244.88
The Shotti Bunch 	2012	243.66
=== Combined ===
Team 	Year	Total Points	Game Classification
Duck Punchers 	2013	284.46 	Post-Season
Stupid Idiots 	2018	281.72 	Regular Season
Duck Punchers 	2011	275.43 	Regular Season
Sweet Dee 	2019	268.59 	Regular Season
Pain Train 	2014	266.55 	Post-Season
B-2 Hallway Gangstas	2011	264.88 	Regular Season
Garoppoblow Me 	2020	261.02 	Regular Season
ma ma momma said 	2016	260.01 	Regular Season
Pain Train 	2013	259.51 	Regular Season
Sweet Dee 	2018	256.95 	Regular Season
Stupid Idiots 	2018	255.35 	Regular Season
ma ma momma said 	2014	255.20 	Regular Season
Stupid Idiots 	2019	250.58 	Regular Season
ma ma momma said 	2014	249.13 	Regular Season
Duck Punchres 	2016	248.89 	Regular Season
The Shotti Bunch 	2016	246.83 	Regular Season
ma ma momma said 	2018	246.24 	Regular Season
Papa's Posse 	2016	245.68 	Regular Season
Duck Punchers 	2013	245.07 	Regular Season
Butt sure is on this list a lot. 
== The Greatest Game - Week Two ==
Our season long quest to find the best matchup ever continues with the best week two games ever played. Here is this week's nominee:
=== 2013: Pain Train vs. Paddock 9 ===
* Final Score: 242.94-236.36
* Why it's Nominated: Pain Train unleashes the lethal Johnson Trio (Calvin, Chris & Andre) in a season-defining slugfest with future arch nemesis Paddock 9 that came down to a league MVP and a kicker.
The matchup started with an exciting real-life NFL matchup between the R*dskins and the Lions, in which P9's RG3 put up 49.63 points but was countered by Pain Train's Calvin Johnson, who dropped 42.60. Back and forth they went until the 4pms came and Pain Train was left with Peyton Manning, kicker Josh Brown, and a 55.90-point deficit. That was no problem for the soon-to-be 2013 NFL MVP. Manning threw 307 and 2TDs. Josh Brown put the finishing touches on the comeback with a 17-point game. Pain Train would go on to Glory Bowl III and Paddock 9 would miss the playoffs for a third straight year. Had they won this game, they would have finished 6th in the regular season standings.
== Things are Looking Up? ==
Final Records of Last Place Teams Through Two Weeks
Year	Team Name 	Final Record	Postseason Finish
2011	Papa's Posse 	7-6 	1st
2012	why am I doing this	6-7 	6th
2013	Papa's Posse 	3-10 	9th
2014	Garoppoblow Me 	3-10 	8th
2015	Pain Train WOO WOO 	5-8 	8th
2016	Paddock 9 	7-6 	5th
2017	JarJar Stinks 	5-8 	10th
2018	RIPDab 	3-10 	8th
2019	ma ma momma said 	6-7 	6th
2020	ma ma momma said 	? 	?
== All Good Things Come to an End? ==
It’s early, but first place is first place. Congrats to Duck Punchers for leading the league through two weeks for the first time. This may be the first indicator that Zach will be our 2020 champion. Take a look below:
Final Records of First Place Teams Through Two Weeks
Year	Team Name 	Final Record	Postseason Finish
2011	Garoppoblow Me 	7-6 	5th
2012	The Shotti Bunch 	8-5 	4th
2013	Pain Train WOO WOO	9-4 	2nd
2014	Pain Train WOO WOO	8-5 	6th
2015	Sweet Dee 	6-7 	5th
2016	Sweet Dee 	5-8 	7th
2017	RIPDab 	9-4 	2nd
2018	Sweet Dee 	6-7 	1st
2019	Paddock 9 	6-7 	1st
2020	Duck Punchers 	? 	?
== Power Rankings ==
Oh yeah, this part. Feel like I've bombarded the writeup with charts so let's keep this short-winded so I can finish my work and start my weekend. How about for this week's theme we do fortune cookie fortunes for each team? It's themed but also like ten words or less. I used this fortune cookie website where this dude just collects fortunes that people send him and puts them in a list. 
=== 1(4). Duck Punchers ===
Your Fortune: A lifetime of happiness awaits you.
=== 2(2). Sweet Dee ===
Your Fortune: Good to begin well. Better to end well. 
=== 3(1). Pain Train ===
Your Fortune: No one can walk backwards into the future.
=== 4(5). The Stupid Idiots ===
Your Fortune: You always bring others happiness. 
=== 5(5). Garoppoblow Me ===
Your Fortune: The strong person understands how to withstand substantial losses.
=== 6(6). RIPDab ===
Your Fortune: Success is a journey, not a destination.
=== 7(9). Paddock 9 ===
Your Fortune: Swimming is easy. Stay floating is hard.
=== 8(8). The Shotti Bunch ===
Your Fortune: It could be better, but it's good enough.
=== 9(9). Papa's Posse ===
Your Fortune: One of the first things you should look for in a problem is its positive side.
=== 10(10). ma ma momma said ===
Your Fortune: A small donation is call for. It's the right thing to do. 
== Matchup of the Week ==
Sweet Dee vs. The Stupid Idiots
This Matchup's Fortune: Winning is losing turned inside out.