I Do

I Do is the 13th episode of the spin-off Reckless and Retired. It aired on July 31, 2014.
==Cast==
*SpongeBob SquarePants 
*Patrick Star
*Squidward Tentacles 
*Sandy Cheeks 
*Mr. Krabs 
*Plankton 
*Gary 
*Charles Dingleberry
*Dr. Gaylord
==Plot==
After Squidward and Sandy tie the knot, SpongeBob travels back in time to make sure they never meet.
==Story==
Squidward arrived home, to the Bikini Bottom Retirement Community late at night, with a bag in his hand. He went straight to the couch. 
"Where have you been?" asked Mr. Krabs, also sitting on the couch, watching Family Guy.
"Oh, nowhere...." said Squidward.
"This is the part where Brian dies!!!" said Krabs, cutting him off. "I can't bear to see him dead!"
"I wasn't out buying anything..." said Squidward.
"The poor dog can never see his family again!!! Why!!!! Why!!!!!!" sobbed Krabs.
"I wasn't buying a wedding ring..." said Squidward.
"Brian was my FAVORITE!!! Curse you, Seth McFarlane!!" sobbed Krabs.
"Dude, you know he comes back to life in the next few episodes, right?!" said Squidward, annoyed.
"Oh, ok! So what were you saying?" said Krabs, happily.
"I was out buying a wedding ring!" said Squidward.
"Ooo, expensive!!!!!!!" said Krabs in awe. "So you finally decided to tie the knot with me, eh?"
"It's not for you!!!" said Squidward. "You just want the expensive wedding ring!!!!"
"Fine, who's it for?" he asked.
"Sandy," said Squidward.
"I knew it! I knew you loved her!" said Krabs.
"No, I don't. Remember when she won the lottery last week? Well, her money is my money if we get married!"
"Nice work, lad!" said Krabs. "You're learning well! That's exactly what I did with my former wives!"
"Yep, once she's mine, I'll be rich!" said Squidward.
That morning, Sandy woke up with Squidward at her feet.
"Sandy, darling will you do me the honor, of allowing me to have your hand in marriage?" said Squidward.
"I don't really care," said Sandy. "I mean we're like 100 years old anyway...."
So the marriage ceremony began that afternoon, at the Bikini Bottom Church.
The preacher came forth.
"If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace."
Crickets chirped.
"I'll take that as a no..." said the preacher.
"Squidward, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do!" said Squidward.
"And Sandy, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded wife...er, husband?"
"I do!" said Sandy.
"You may now kiss the bride!" said the preacher.
Squidward kissed Sandy's wallet. "Um, my face is up here!" said Sandy.
"Oh, yes, of course. My bad!" said Squidward.
"I know pronounce you husband and wife!" said the preacher. 
Squidward and Sandy held hands and walked down the aisle.
SpongeBob walked out of the bathroom. "What'd I miss???" he said.
"Where were you?" asked Patrick.
"I was in the bathroom cyring my eyes out," said SpongeBob.
"Why?" asked Patrick.
"Because she's the love of my life!!!" said SpongeBob.
"Well, you had your chance to object. It's too late now, bro!" said Patrick.
"Yeah, I geuss," SpongeBob sighed.
That night, they went home, only to find Dr. Gaylord dragging a giant machine to his secret lab.
"DR. GAYLORD!!!! A NEW INVENTION??????" they joyfully shouted together.
"Shhh! Shhh! Shut up, you two! Here, just help me lift this piece of..."
ZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SpongeBob and Patrick had jumped into the machine and pulled the lever.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! My creation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said the doctor.
Suddenly, SpongeBob and Patrick arrived at the wedding.
"If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace."
"Whoa.....Patrick....I think we just traveled through time!" said SpongeBob.
"Yeah.....I'm gonna go ride some do-do birds!" said Patrick.
"No, Patrick! We have to use this responsibly," said SpongeBob,
"Bleh! I hate that word!" said Patrick.
"All I'm gonna do is object to their marriage," said SpongeBob.
Crickets chirped.
"I'll take that as a no!" said the preacher.
"Aw come on! It's too late!" said SpongeBob.
"Why not just go back in time so that they never meet?" said Patrick.
"Patrick! I said we had to use this responsibly.....actually....that's not a bad idea...." said SpongeBob.
Charles Dingleberry walked over to them.
"AHHHHH! TIME TRAVELERS!!!!!!!" he said.
"Shut up, Dingleberry! You'll blow our cover!!!" said SpongeBob.
He grabbed Charles, and brought him on board the time machine. Then they pulled the lever.
They arrived in the stone ages.
"What are you idiots doing???" said Charles. "This is just flat-out paranormal!!!"
"Shut up!" said SpongeBob. "All your shouting may attract a T-Rex!"
"I don't care!" said Charles. "When I'm through with you, you're gonna be sorry!"
A T-Rex crept behind Charles and began sniffing him.
"I mean really, SpongeBob?? Time-traveling??? How immature are you? You worthless son of a...AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He was picked up by the T-Rex and instantly devoured.
"Let's get outta here!" said Patrick.
"Roger that," SpongeBob pulled the lever.
They arrived at the day Squidward and Sandy first met, back 75 years in the past.
Sandy walked into the Krusty Krab. 
"Welcome to the Krusty Krab, what the heck do you want..." said Squidward.
"Get me one of them krappy patties, and make it snappy!" said Sany.
"Did you just call my patties KRAPPY?" said Krabs.
"What are you gonna do about it, Krap Legs? And you, Squid Face, I said get me a krappy patty NOW!"
"Listen here, I don't take orders from a WOMAN!" said Squidward.
Sandy picked him up and began aggressively beating the ink out of him.
"This is the perfect time to make sure he never sees her again!" said SpongeBob.
He called 911, and they came and arrested Sandy for attempting murder.
Squidward was taken away by an ambulance.
SpongeBob and Patrick were about to go back home, when they saw the young versions of themselves sitting at a table. 
Young SpongeBob and Patrick then noticed the older versions of themselves.
"Wow, Patrick, look! It's our space dads!" said Young SpongeBob.
"Uh....yeah, yeah, we're your space dads!" said SpongeBob. "And we're going back to our space ships, so goodbye...wait, don't touch that!"
ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Young SpongeBob and Patrick stole the time machine and went 75 years in the future.
Bikini Bottom had been taken over by space demons and the streets were on fire, with complete destruction and chaos.
"Wow! Patrick, do you know what this is?" said Young SpongeBob.
"Yeah! It's a different dimension!" said Young Patrick.
The course of history had actually been completely changed because Squidward and Sandy never became friends.
Squidward was frantically running through the streets. 
"Eh, screw it! I'm turning myself in!" he ran to the Bikini Bottom Jail and locked himself in.
There, he saw Sandy. The two of them began making out.
"That's just gross," said Young SpongeBob watching them through the bars.
"Yeah, I think I prefer OUR dimension!" said Young Patrick.
The time machine was then destroyed by a fire blast from a nearby space demon.
"Noooooo! MY CREATION!!!!!!" said Dr. Gaylord.
Young SpongeBob and Patrick quickly ran away through the burning streets.
==Trivia==
*This is the 4th episode to hint Squidward x Sandy relations, and arguably the strongest.
*The other 3 were When Death Comes Knocking, Young Love, and Chicken Fight.
Category:Reckless and Retired
Category:Reckless and Retired episodes
Category:Episodes
Category:Doctor Bugs
Category:Dragon Ball
Category:Reckless and Retired Season 1
Category:2014