New Zealand scraps

Scraps from New Zealand. 
==Buildings==
I'm thinking that between sea level rise and typhoons (which do occasionally hit New Zealand) maybe we can put the engineer/construction types to work on moveable flood barriers to protect Auckland's harbors and just-bigger-than-person-sized exoskeletons to help with demolition/construction. After five years empty in a fairly damp climate (and possibly through typhoons) and after being stomped by a Kaiju or two, A LOT of buildings probably need to come down and be completely rebuilt. 
Can you see Raleigh and Mako having a field day stomping things down? 
"Raarrrr puny Kaiju now YOU are the tiny ones!!!" 
Newt: NOOOO NOT THE LIZARDS!!!! 
Oh my god. Can you see NEWT stomping things down? Or Tendo letting the KID steer? 
Or somebody kicking over sandcastles? 
Or charity Mako vs. Raleigh wrestling matches? 
==Chase==
"HERMANN YOU WERE RIGHT I SHOULD'VE COME BACK FOR LUNCH!!!!" 
Day One: HERMANN I AM BEING CHASED BY GEESE!!!! 
Day Two: HERMANN I AM UNDER ATTACK BY BUNNIES!!! 
Day Three: HERMANN THEY TEAMED UP AND ARE RUNNING ME DOWN WITH KIWIS!!! 
Day Four: 
"Newton, you seem awful calm." 
>shrug< "Invasion of the platypus. I outran it. Gorram secret agents I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY!!!"
==Clone (AN)==
"Hey Hermann, so it turns out the Kaiju Blue on the island's a little worse than I thought." 
"How bad Newton?" 
"Well, I may have cloned myself somehow?" 
"..." 
"Here's a picture!" 
"*ends call*" 
 
(nvm, they're giant isopods. I thought they were mutant axolotls. What the fuck is my life that that sentence actually happened?) 
==Hybrid (AN, Patron)==
"Ye know, being part owl's not that bad." 
"Really." 
"Really really. You could be part *flashes picture* frogmouth." 
==Mud Magnet==
(March)
Ata bounces on her toes as they make their way down the path. 
Hermann finally takes pity on her and points out where they're going. 
She shoots off. 
Moments later he hears a shriek and a splash. 
Ata bounds back up, mud up to her hips. "Down there?" she beams. "With the [notable landmark]?"
"Around there, yes."
"I'll go get the gear." And off she goes. 
Forty four seconds; she sprints by with the first box. 
"Pace yourself!" Hermann calls. 
"I will!" Her second trip starts six seconds later. 
Thirty eight seconds pass; Ata's footsteps pounds up behind him and then--
"ATA I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!" 
"You did that on purpose," says Hermann. 
Ata whistles innocently.
===Energizer Muddy===
Newt on the island talking about Ata with Hermann. "Yours is like working with the toy rabbit from those commercials when we were kids. Does she /ever slow down?"
==Snaps==
2025 April (SK, Kiwis) 
"Wha'che doin'?" asks Ata. 
"Trying to pick a good snap for my friends," says Setsuko.
"Postcard or something?" asks Rama. 
Ata looks at Rama. 
"Or something. He collects pictures."
"Rama!"
"What?" Rama finally looks at Ata. 
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"You always ask this and it never works."
"Fine, what're you thinking?" 
"Western Springs."
"Pukeko mob."
"We actually did it!"
"Five high!"
/SMACK
"Fuck! My nose!"
"Oh my god my eye--when was the last time you washed your hands?" 
==Kiwis==
===Heart===
2025 April (Kiwibots)
"Look Dad, we're playing with your Heart!" 
"HERMANN DONT LISTEN TO THEM THIS IS NOT PLAYING THEYRE TRYING TO MOW ME DOOOOOWN!!!!!!"
===Every Kiwi===
2025 April (Kiwibots)
Newt shifts a potted plant. Kiwi.
Newt gets out of the shower. Kiwi.
Newt opens the fridge. Kiwi.
All staring at him with cold, beady camera-eyes.
And then he upsets Hermann and something like the end of this happens. 
Newt wakes up. Kiwi. 
Newt fetches clothes. Kiwi. 
Newt reaches under his desk to retrieve a pen. Kiwi. 
Newt gets towels from the linen closet. Nest of Kiwis. 
There's a picture somewhere of footprints in a pan of brownies in a fridge and the caption is 'CSI [something]' and if I find it (or if you find it) I will add "Hermann, will you please remind your army that the fridge is off limits?"
And someone's off somewhere doing this (probably Typhoon because she remembers Disney music) 
Newt flees out into the forest for some peace and quiet. 
A kiwi watches from a tree.
Newt opens his suitcase at a conference. Kiwi.
Newt fishes in his jacket pocket for a business card. Tiny kiwi.
On a cuter note: Picture a herd of kiwis nestled under Hermann's wings will he reads in bed.
I FOUND IT! http://shmoo92.tumblr.com/post/83111002983/lauraagudelo272-funny-pictures-of-the-day-119
So you mean a tiny kiwi like these guys? http://shmoo92.tumblr.com/post/88321378678/coelasquid-thegoodnaysayer-roachpatrol
Because Newt was told yoga is good for the mind. http://shmoo92.tumblr.com/post/87302014398/4gifs-the-floor-is-lava-vid
Liek this ? or this http://shmoo92.tumblr.com/post/84286160583/fat-birds-female-california-quail-with-her, http://shmoo92.tumblr.com/post/80370245956/dictatorboy-my-saint-bernard-lets-the-outside
Oh my god. That's hilarious. I can also imagine one nesting amongst the lettuce.
Lettuce would make a nice nest. 
Yes, a teeny-tiny robotic kiwi. Newt pulls it out, blinks at it for a moment, then goes into full-on flailing, launching the thing through the air while those around him stare in horror.
Eventually more kiwis pile on until he collapses.
Damnit now I have to draw Teeny Tiny Kaiju and Teeny Tiny Kiwi. Or maybe Teeny Tiny Kaiju's ear and Teeny Tiny Kiwi. 
The first one is how they snuggle with Hermann. The second link is what they do when Newt misbehaves.
"I CAN FLY!!!!! *splash*" 
So basically yoga happens and then that second 'snuggle' link.
If teeny-tiny kiwi is watertight (or has a low enough voltage power source), we see a tiny trail of bubbles as it walks across the bottom back to 'shore.' Then in a scene burned into the memories of all present, it walks straight up Newt's leg (using its teeny-tiny claws) and nestles back into his pocket.
Exactly. Hermann just laughs and leaves them there.
==KiwiBot Origins==
===Manifest===
New Zealand Reclamation Program, Waikato Station; Coromandel, Waikato, New Zealand; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 10:29 NZT: Unencrypted 
FROM: MISTER CHOI 
TO: GEISZLER 
SUBJECT: Kiwis: WTF?
Newt,
I'm looking at the manifest for next week's cargo flight and I'm wondering what you're up to. I can only assume this is your doing, because I can't picture your better half being involved.
What, exactly, are you planning which requires a case of twelve custom-built things I can only call 'Kiwibots?'
[attachment]
Tendo Choi 
Logistics Manager 
New Zealand Reclamation Program, Waikato Station 
Coromandel, Waikato, New Zealand
.
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 13:23 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: NEWT 
TO: THE KIDS 
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
you guys have anything to do with this? hermann's laughing too hard to say anything and i'm sure as hell clueless.
[attachment]
.
Jaeger Storage Facility; Appalachian Mtns.; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 13:24 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: COYOTE P. 
TO: DAD'S HEART; DAD 
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
Those are a present from all of us. We wanted small, soft bodies we could use to visit you and Dad and help with your work. 
Dad specced them out for us and we had them built and shipped from Hong Kong.
Sincerely, 
Coyote
.
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 13:28 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: NEWT 
TO: THE KIDS 
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
if these things have glowing red eyes i'm throwing them in the nearest volcano.
.
Jaeger Storage Facility; Appalachian Mtns.; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 13:28 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: LUCKY 
TO: DRONGO 
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
Good luck catchin' 'em, short stuff.
.
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 13:31 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: NEWT 
TO: LUCKY 
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
didn't your dad teach you manners?
.
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 13:41 NZT: Unencrypted 
FROM: LIZARD BRAIN 
TO: TENDO 
SUBJECT: Re: Kiwis: WTF?
Tendo,
Those are for the centimeter-scale environmental survey I'm working on. See the 'upgraded surveillance' and 'mobility enhancement' packages?
.
New Zealand Reclamation Program, Waikato Station; Coromandel, Waikato, New Zealand; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 14:40 NZT: Unencrypted 
FROM: MISTER CHOI 
TO: GEISZLER 
SUBJECT: Re: Kiwis: WTF?
That raises even more questions:
1. Kiwis?
2. Twelve?
3. Who's paying for this?
4. Is this a joke?
5. What happened to your username?
Tendo Choi 
Logistics Manager 
New Zealand Reclamation Program, Waikato Station 
Coromandel, Waikato, New Zealand
.
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 14:48 NZT: Unencrypted 
FROM: LIZARD BRAIN 
TO: TENDO 
SUBJECT: Re: Kiwis: WTF?
1. There's a breeding tribe I don't want to disturb.
2. All the Blue contamination is hard on 'em. Need replacements on hand.
3. They're gifts from some generous donors.
4. Nope.
5. Glitch in my new email client.
.
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 14:49 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: LIZARD BRAIN 
TO: I. M. SMARTERTHANYOU 
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
change. it. back.
.
Jaeger Storage Facility; Appalachian Mtns.; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 14:49 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: LUCKY
TO: DRONGO
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
not a chance. figure it out yerself, genius.
.
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 14:53 NZT: Unencrypted 
FROM: MISTER CHOI
TO: LIZZIE GEISZLER
SUBJECT: Re: Kiwis: WTF?
You know what? Forget I asked. Just keep your mad scientist antics on your island, please.
Ps. Thanks for resetting your contact info in my email. I'll just be leaving it like this for the foreseeable future.
Tendo Choi 
Logistics Manager 
New Zealand Reclamation Program, Waikato Station 
Coromandel, Waikato, New Zealand
.
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 14:55 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: LIZARD BRAIN 
TO: I. M. SMARTERTHANYOU 
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
fix it, sparkhead, or i'll tell your dad.
.
Jaeger Storage Facility; Appalachian Mtns.; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 14:55 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: LUCKY
TO: DRONGO
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
What are ya? Three?
And, oh yeh: No.
.
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 14:58 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: H GOTTLIEB
TO: LUCKY SEVEN
SUBJECT: Email contacts
Lucky,
Please restore Doctor Geiszler's email contacts (including any changes you've made to others' machines) to their original state. I would consider it a personal favor.
Yours,
Hermann
.
Jaeger Storage Facility; Appalachian Mtns.; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 14:58 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: LUCKY
TO: DRONGO
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
Big baby.
 
.
 
New Zealand Environmental Research Station; Apr, Tues 1, 2025 @ 15:00 NZT: Encryption Level Alpha 
FROM: NEWT
TO: JERKY SEVEN
SUBJECT: FW: Kiwis: WTF?
whatever it takes to win dude.
===Reptiles===
Loving the email exchange, concerned about the two people who call Newt 'Lizzie'. How do you feel about 'Sally' or 'Mandy' for one of them, or "oh no, not you too!"?
"Lizzie" was just the first thing I thought of. "Sally" is much better. I'm switching it. XD
Awesome. It's kinda unexpected too!
===Drone===
Awww, no paparazzi drone? XD
AND IT'S APRIL 1ST!!!!
Let me try something ...
It can still be April 1st:
[1]
So they 'refurbish' this drone, send the specs to Mako, and then Tendo gets the shipping manifest. Tada!
Gimme ten minutes, I have something that MUST go with this. 
References took a liiiitle bit longer to find than I'd hoped. BRB!
(half the picture. Turns out I can't draw Hermann :D )
D'awww ... so cute! 
^u^ 
I've been led to believe Hermann is nigh-impossible to draw. 
I'll leave him to the experts then. 
===Sung===
I have been meaning to note that on the main island, while the fleeing New Zealanders probably salvaged what metal they could, there's bound to be toys, electronics, and pipes easily convertible into more Kiwibots. 
If Sung's already made it to New Zealand and Siqi is now behaving erratically with regards to anything with silicon … hmmmm ….
====New Zealand====
If Sung's already made it to New Zealand and Siqi is now behaving erratically with regards to anything with silicon, then...
[2]
Good points. We can definitely push the date back to after whenever you want to introduce Sung for added freaky Siqi. It takes a while to fabricate Kiwibots from scrap. 
====Shrine Folk====
I love that Siqi and Chuckles are absolutely terrified of a robot the size of a chicken which has yet to display malicious intent. Where's Gingersnap while they're doing this? Last we saw him he was in the middle of the courtyard being confused.
I kinda do too ^u^ Gingersnap is mostly likely keeping in its blind spot a good distance away with a stick, ready to boot that thing far, far away at a moment's notice (forgetting, of course, that's he's not corporeal). I believe his 'guy-ness' is showing such that he can take out Kaiju just as well as Chuckles and he's not afraid of a little Kaiju and he'll protect Siqi and both he and Chuck feel like idiots when Daiyu gathers up the 'Kaiju', pointing out that it's a robot. 
I'm now picturing Edan and Chuck doing matching facepalms while Daiyu scratches the kiwibot under its little fluffy chin and both of them nervously laughing off their previous behavior.
The Kiwibot is wiggling its butt so much one worries it's going to fall off :D
She mentions Chuckles to Hannibal? Interesting ... 
I want to pick you brain before I throw headcanon at you :D
====Introduction====
Which AI do you think moseyed into Siqi's courtyard to freak her out?
If it's after the printer incident, it could very well be Sung wandering by wanting to thank Siqi and having a bit of a Shaolin moment when she doesn't remember Siqi and anything electronic don't have the best relationship.
When do you want to introduce Sung? I'm fine with whenever.
How about mid-to-late March for Sung's grand debut? Gives everyone a little time to adjust to life with Shaolin before the excitement starts over and gives enough time for the Sung-Shaolin amalgam to make an Apr 1 appearance in Hong Kong to terrify Siqi. 
Sounds good! What's Hermann's immune system like? 
Typhoon puts in the order for the extra kiwi(s) so she and Shaolin can visit the family in Hong Kong.
(((o(^u^)o))) wait a minute
Hannibal's overseeing quality control. Kiwi. 
Hannibal pops open a large box of Kaiju Bone Powder for inspection. A kiwi blinks back at him. Then sneezes $500 a pound powder all over his red brocade suit. Hannibal is not amused.
Omg dying very dying o dear ribs. And it's in its feathers. 
Can you imagine Hannibal trying to figure out why the hell there's a robotic kiwi nesting in his product? How would /that/ investigation go.
Hannibal's investigation leads him along the most bizarre papertrail ever. 
===Lucky Medium===
Please see "Gingers, Cats, and Ginger Cats#Grumpy
Loving the email exchange, concerned about the two people who call Newt 'Lizzie'. That or Siqi and Lucky are going to take to each other like fish to water.
I think Siqi and Lucky would get along quite well. I picture Lucky as what Chuckles would've become if he'd lived to have a house and lawn to tell kids to get off of.
===Ficlets===
====1====
/ping
Hermann retrieves his phone from his desk, abandoning his post in front of his chalkboards, and thumbs the lock.
Dad, open the back door. I want to show you something.
"Coyote ...," Hermann sighs as he slides the door.
A kiwi strolls in and sits at his feet.
Hermann raises an eyebrow.
/ping
Caught this little guy sneaking around. He's a surveillance drone. Can I keep him?
Hermann sighs. "I assume you have dealt with its operator."
/ping
Yep. I fed him footage that made it look like a kāhu attacked it.
"What else?"
/ping
And I shorted out his laptop.
"Please trace his employers and inform me of what you find. You may keep the kiwi."
/ping
Thanks, Dad!
/ping
Dad? If I order some additional hardware for him, will you install it?
"What do you have in mind?"
/ping
I'm thinking touch sensors, maybe some other sensors so we can help you and your Heart work. And maybe a little motor so we can purr.
Hermann blinks. "You want to be able to properly cuddle."
There is a pause.
/ping
Well ... yeah. We miss being able to touch.
Hermann smiles. "I will install whatever additional hardware you'd like, as long as the armature and power source can support it. I would hate to cripple the little fellow."
/ping
Thank you! I'll put the order in now.
"You and your siblings will have to take turns using him. I don't want to referee any fights."
/ping
We'll be good.
"I'm sure you will be."
Later that Day
"Hermann? There's a kiwi on your desk."
"Yes, Newt. I'm aware."
"Why is there a kiwi on your desk?"
"I placed her there because she couldn't see my work from the floor."
"Umm . dude? Are you feeling okay? Didn't take a triple dose of something this morning?"
"I am perfectly fine and properly medicated."
"Uh . okaaaaaay. Why would a kiwi be interested in your work?"
"She is comparing the results of my model against weather records for the past forty years."
"That's quite a kiwi."
"Indeed."
"You know . I think I'm going to go lie down for a bit. I think I might've eaten something funny. Possibly hallucinogenic."
"Yes, Spatzchen. I'll wake you for dinner."
====2====
Message Received; From Bob to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< uuuummmm >
Message Received; From Bob to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< there *may* be a kaiju in my front yard >
Message Sent; From [blocked] to chu s, tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< you're hilarious. >
Message Received; From Bob to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< i know >
Message Received; From Bob to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< but the universe is clearly funnier >
Message Sent; From [blocked] to chu s, tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< and if you think i'm going to believe for one second there's a stories-tall silicon nightmare in a residential zone without anyone panicking, you are the biggest blockhead this side of the breach >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< stories-tall, no >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< nightmare, debatable > 
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< but it is certainly silicon and dinosaur related >
Message Sent; From [blocked] to chu s, tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< is it snarling, snapping, acting at all kaiju-like? >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< and it's in a residential zone sorta > 
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< no, no, rampaging/destroying/razing? also no >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< more just meandering around and wiggling its butt >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< does one 'sniff' if one has a beak? >
 
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< it's doing that too >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< looks a little like a kiwibird, proly shoulda mentioned that >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], Mimi [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< and it's kinda cute >
Message Sent; From [blocked] to chu s, tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< daiyu's coming by >
Message Sent; From [blocked] to chu s, tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< do NOT make me regret this >
Message Sent; From [blocked] to chu s, tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< except i already do. >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< k thx >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< chuckles and i have barricaded ourselves in my dorm room. >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< and there's a skeleton staff >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked], tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025]
< so she can just let herself in >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked][blocked], tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025] 
< cept people already do that >
Message Received; From chu s to [blocked][blocked], tang m [GMT ??:?? 1 April 2025] 
< but i am NOT coming out. >
==Bipolar Downswing==
===Onions===
Hermann hears the sniffles over the sound of water boiling. He moves more quickly to reach the kitchen, cane tapping insistently against the hardwood. “Newt? What’s wrong?” he asks, worry filling every syllable.
“Onions.”
“Onions? What about onions is upsetting you?”
“Cutting onions, dude. Seriously, just fucking onions this time.” Newt waves the knife in his hand. “I’m making soup for dinner.”
“Aha. That explains the delicious smell.”
“Flattery will get you a bowl of it. In a little bit.” Newt’s smile lights up his tear-streaked face.
Hermann returns the smile. “I look forward to it.” His expression turns serious. “You understand my concern, though?”
“Yeah, I do. I’ve been a mess all week,” Newt sighs. “God, I hate these lows. I’m sick of crying every five minutes. Why can’t my brain work right?”
Hermann steps behind Newt and rests his hand on the small of his back. “Do you think you need your dosages adjusted?”
“Nah. I’m pretty sure it’s the six months of winter I’ve had this year getting to me. The light boxes aren’t hacking it. All the ‘oh-shit-we-nearly-died’ feelings are creeping out.”
Hermann nods. “My experience resembles yours. I believe I mentioned I’ve increased my antidepressants to combat my nightmares recently.”
“You did.” Newt leans his head back to rest against Hermann’s shoulder. “It’s good to know you’re with me in this. You actually get it.”
“I understand because I’m living through something similar.”
“Yeah.” Newt grins. “Okay. Enough with the touchy-feely. Get out of here, Hermann. You linger much longer and it’ll take weeks to get the smell out of your feathers. I don’t want a repeat of the garlic incident.”
Hermann sniffs. “I’ll lay the table, then.” He opens a cupboard and reaches inside.
“Great idea. Thanks, dude.”
“You’re wel–”
Hermann squeaks and nearly drops the bowls as Newt hops up on tiptoes and kisses him full on the lips.
“I mean it. Thanks. For everything.”
Category:Phineas and Ferb (reference)
Category:Ficlet
Category:Pages in need of tags
Category:New Zealand
Category:KiwiBots
Category:Pacific Rim (2013)
Category:Scraps
Category:Setsuko
Category:Setsuko (ficlet)
Category:Siqi
Category:Siqi (ficlet)