Hatchling

Hermann's first years of life, as seen through his siblings' eyes.
==Meta==
Notes: For pickleplum.
Originally posted here by sherriaisling; revised by "Fledgling" and posted here.)
==New Brother==
(1989; "Hatchling": One; originally posted as "Dietrich".)
===Meta===
Endnotes:
This is for the marvelous pickleplum, who first started writing Athene Noctua in response to a kinkmeme prompt I left and just hasn't stopped. Thank you so kindly, pickleplum! (Also, I'd just like to let everyone who has contributed to this universe know how much their work has meant to me over the past few months and how much joy it has given me.)
Since this is told from Dietrich’s point of view, it’s limited by what he knows as a seven, later eight, year old, and by how often he’s gone from the home for school and such. So, he doesn’t fully understand how troubling some of the things that are happening to Hermann are, but he also potentially sees some of this as worse than it is. His parents were never affectionate people, but the apathy with which they’ve treated he and Karla is normal to him, so the more open neglect which Hermann is being treated with registers as mistreatment, even if he doesn’t know fully why. He’s starting trying to do research into Hermann’s health, but he hasn’t starting considering what the bird genetics are doing to him. (For example, while babies are supposed to be able to focus on closer objects first and then on things in the distance, Hermann had his distance vision, it just took him a while to start focusing on closer things and people’s faces.) And he doesn’t yet understand his mother’s depression or his father’s anger at Hermann because the Gottlieb parents don’t go around explaining themselves to their children.
Now, onto Lars Gottlieb. He’s a terrible parent and a horrible person in general, but pickleplum and I have had a few conversations about his role in the Athene universe, and she says that he is genuinely afraid that horrible things will happen to Hermann if he doesn’t spend his whole life hiding from everyone. (I suppose being the sort of person who might support such horrible things might increase these fears.) So, Lars is actually doing more here behind the scenes than Dietrich knows about.
I assumed that he would have his doubts at first over whether Hermann would even live. So, that’s why Hermann doesn’t get named for the first few days of his life and why Lars doesn’t mention Hermann to his parents until several weeks after his birth. Lars’ various coworkers and acquaintances are told about Hermann’s existence at around the same time, but he also spreads the word that the new baby is sickly to discourage anyone who might want to have physical contact with him because he doesn’t know how well they can camouflage the wings or if Hermann might develop any additional inhuman traits as he grows. Initially, he felt that his wife had created Hermann alone, so she could care for him alone, but he does take over as primary caregiver once it becomes more obvious that she sees Hermann as research first and foremost and that she really isn’t in a good position to care for a baby even if she was acknowledging it as her child. (And he's the one who gets Hermann the mobile.)
And this has only been self-betaed, so let me know if something is confusing or if I've left in any mistakes.
18/5/14: Edited to change Dietrich's age to match the Athene Noctua timeline created by pickleplum. (I apparently can't add and had him to old before, despite having actually looked at the timeline before originally posting.)
===Text===
Dietrich is seven when he finally gets a brother. He’s excited, though confused, because getting a brother seems to be nothing like getting a sister.
Mother hasn’t looked pregnant for starters. He can’t fully remember the day Karla was born, but he does have memories of Mother’s stomach swelling out. (This was also around the time that Mother had stopped holding him, but she hasn’t held Karla in years, so he can’t use that as an indicator of pregnancy.) And Gilbert’s mother, who had given Gilbert a little brother, had become very large before she had given birth. Dietrich remembers that very well; it had happened only last year, and Mrs. Eichmann had allowed him to feel the baby kicking inside her stomach.
He also remembers Father being … not happy--Father rarely seems happy--but at least pleased. Father is very unhappy right now. Dietrich and Karla have been ordered to remain silently in the sitting room, which is a sign that he and Mother are going to be having a Private Talk, which never happens unless Father is very unhappy.
And Mother hasn’t visited the hospital. He knows that not all babies are born in hospitals, but Mother has strong feelings about people who are foolish enough to ignore modern medicine in favor of home remedies. 
But Father says they have a brother, and Father doesn’t think that there’s any value to be had in lying, so Dietrich believes him.
Five hours have passed when Father finally permits them to leave the sitting room. Dietrich had long since finished his book and traded it for the markers Karla had grown bored of. He leads them to a room across from Dietrich’s and next to Karla’s, which is normally only occupied when they have guests staying overnight. 
Mother sits on the bed, looking angry. Mother is often angry after Private Talks. One hand holds a small blanket wrapped body to her chest and Dietrich can hear the small sounds of the baby nursing. Father’s face sours and he says, “This is… your brother.”
.
For the first three days of his life, the baby sleeps in a dresser drawer and Father and Mother have many Private Talks. Finally, on the fourth day, the bed from the guest room has been replaced by a crib and Father and Mother have stopped speaking to each other. It is on this day that Dietrich and Karla learn that their brother’s name is Hermann.
Hermann cries. A lot. Dietrich hadn’t really realized how much at first, because he doesn’t sound like Gilbert’s little brother, or babies on television. Something is wrong with the way he sounds. It is annoying, though, and he’s angry at Hermann once he realizes that Hermann is responsible. Sometimes Mother goes to him immediately, to feed or change him, but mostly she doesn’t. Normally, she stands outside the door and watches him before checking on him, taking notes. She rarely holds him. Father seems to avoid touching Hermann altogether, at first. Dietrich doesn’t see him go into Hermann’s room at all during the first month, though he is sometimes in the kitchen mixing up formula as Dietrich and Karla are leaving for school.
.
Karla asks, once, if she can hold Hermann and Mother explains that Hermann is sick and shouldn’t be touched. Dietrich asks, too, nearly a month later. Hermann is three months old and Mother hasn’t gotten out of bed in two days, so Father is preparing a bottle. He thinks at first that Father is ignoring him, which he does sometimes. But then Father finishes screwing on the top onto the bottle and says, “Come along.”
Dietrich follows Father upstairs to Hermann’s room. Hermann isn’t crying. He really hasn’t been crying much lately, and Dietrich doesn’t miss the not right sound of it, but he does wonder if Hermann’s silence is a sign that he is getting sicker. Father turns on the light and the room’s ceiling fan kicks lazily on. Dust motes swirl vaguely through the air; the housekeeper isn’t permitted to go into Hermann’s room, so it never seems as clean as Father likes the rest of the house to be.
Father pulls the blanket off of Hermann and picks him up; he doesn’t fuss. Hermann is still incredibly tiny and he’s dressed in only a pair of stripped pants and a little pair of blue socks. Dietrich stares. He feels his mouth open, but he doesn’t know what to say. “hat ... What is he?” Dietrich’s mind wanders immediately to a story that Grandfather had told him, once, before he had become too old for such childish things. Fairies. Changlings. Babies that aren’t really babies. But things like that aren’t real, and Hermann is. 
Father says, seriously, “He’s different. You must listen to me carefully, Dietrich. Hermann isn’t normal and you mustn’t tell anyone.” And then Father firmly maneuvers Dietrich to sit in the straight-backed chair in the corner and places Hermann in his arms. Hermann is very light and very still and it makes him easy to hold. He seems to be staring off into the distance as Dietrich moves the bottle up to his face and Dietrich actually has to nudge his lips with the nipple of the bottle before Hermann responds. He sucks at it unenthusiastically as the little wings on his back flutter.
Dietrich doesn’t tell anyone, but someone has told Karla because she complains to him one afternoon as they complete their homework that she wishes she could be a fairy too.
.
After that, Dietrich starts paying more attention to Hermann and, eventually, starts giving more attention to him. Mother is getting out of bed again, but she seems to be spending more time just watching Hermann than ever, and Father has gotten Very Busy and doesn’t have time for a baby as long as Mother is around.
One Saturday afternoon, Dietrich finds himself in the kitchen making up one of Hermann’s bottles. Hermann never cries anymore, but Mother hasn’t been into his room since early that morning, and he has to need food and a fresh diaper by now. 
He stands in Hermann’s doorway for a moment when he gets upstairs, watching like Mother does. Hermann’s crib is along the wall next to the door and Dietrich can see him from where he stands. He’s awake in bed and he seems to be staring at something. Not Dietrich. Hermann doesn’t ever seem to look at him, even though the books that Dietrich has been reading say he should be able to by now. Dietrich is starting to think that he can’t focus right, and he definitely doesn’t seem to be able to see anyone standing as close as Dietrich is now. He wonders if that’s why Mother likes this vantage point. 
“Hello Hermann.” Hermann turns towards the sound of his voice and his wings flap briefly underneath his shirt. Maybe he can’t see Dietrich properly, but his ears definitely work, and Dietrich has been trying to talk to Hermann more and more when he walks past his open door. Mother and Father rarely talk to Hermann, or interact with him more than they have to. Dietrich has started making note of all the things that don’t happen to Hermann, and it’s making him uncomfortable. Dietrich is eight now, and that’s more than old enough to take care of his little brother, to wonder if Hermann should really be alone so often. He picks Hermann up carefully and feeds him, then changes him. He puts Hermann back in his crib so that he has both hands free to drag the chair in front of the window. They sit in the sun and Dietrich tells Hermann about school as he gently pets the strip of downy feathers running down his brother’s back.
.
Karla is the one who points out that Hermann isn’t ever allowed to leave his room, which has to be boring, and they both notice how few toys he has. Grandmother sent a stuffed bear when she found out about Hermann, three weeks after his birth, and there have been care packages ever since. All of the new toys and books in Hermann’s room have come from Grandmother and Grandfather, and a majority of his clothing has too.
But there haven’t been other gifts, and Dietrich doesn’t think many people outside of their house know that Hermann exists yet. Neither Dietrich nor Karla have any toys around which might be appropriate for a six month old, so the next time Father drives them to town they pool their pocket money and buy a set of stacking rings and a box of blocks. They wrap their purchases carefully, and Dietrich hides them in the back of his closet. It isn’t as if Hermann could get to them, if he even knew to look, but it just feels right. 
A few weeks later, Karla carefully carries Hermann across the hall to Dietrich’s room and he pulls out Hermann’s Christmas presents. He and Karla help him open them, and then show him how to pick up the rings and the blocks. Hermann still doesn’t make much noise, but his wings flutter as rapidly as they can underneath the back of his thick footed pajamas. (Save for his and Karla’s gifts, Hermann had gotten nothing but clothing for Christmas. Dietrich would find this boring, but he’s just glad that Hermann had gotten anything.) When Hermann starts to tire, Dietrich carries him back to his room. Above his crib, someone has strung up a mobile of dangling stars.
.
Grandfather and Grandmother can’t come to visit this year until after the holidays. They won’t be there until the day after Hermann is seven months old. It’s going to be the first time they meet Hermann, and Dietrich is excited, at first. He doesn’t think he should ask them if everything is okay with Hermann, but surely they will notice if something is very wrong. As their visit draws closer, however, Dietrich’s hopes dim. Father and Mother explain carefully what they can and can’t say about Hermann, what they can and can’t do with Hermann, while they have company. Dietrich suddenly feels very, very stupid with the realization that lying about Hermann is going to be never-ending part of his life.
Father dresses Hermann carefully, putting on an extra shirt, with a high collar that comes up to cover the soft little feathers that grow on his neck, and a knit hat. He then wraps Hermann up in a blanket and carries him downstairs. 
Dietrich trails behind them, at a distance that Hermann seems to be able to see him. Hermann is placed on his back into a bassinet in the sitting room, next to the sofa Karla is perched on. Dietrich settles himself next to her and they both fold their hands and wait for the sound of the front door opening. Grandfather and Grandmother are never late.
Soon enough, Mother leads them down the hall and into the room. Father shakes Grandfather’s hand and then embraces Grandmother before he turns their attention to Hermann, introducing his son and explaining that they have to be careful not to touch Hermann, as it’s been a trying morning and he likely isn’t ready for further stimulation at the moment. Hermann unknowingly aids in Father’s lie by squirming uncomfortably. Dietrich is sure that he’s trying to roll over. Hermann hates being on his back, and he can’t like the tight swaddling he’s been enclosed in. 
Grandmother kneels next to him and quietly says hello. Hermann turns his head towards her, his eyes bright with interest at the new voice. Grandfather moves over to the couch to sit between Dietrich and Karla, and demands that they tell him all about Hermann.
.
Dietrich is disappointed that his grandparents were never permitted to hold Hermann, and so were able to offer no opinion on whether he is too small, too light. Mother seemingly doesn’t think so, though she does measure and weigh him. But his baby books still say that he is, so Dietrich starts bringing Hermann downstairs with him at mealtimes so that he can be sure that Hermann is at least eating every meal that he and Karla do.
Hermann has starting eating solid foods now, too, so it’s fun to watch him pick carefully at whatever he and Karla put in front of him. He squints down at the small bits of food on his plate, struggling to see them just as much as he struggles with getting his little fingers to pick them up, though his eyes do seem to have finally started to work better. He still has trouble with objects that are too close to him, but Dietrich is sure that he has started to recognize people from closer distances than before.
.
Hermann starts crawling late. It’s mostly that he has spent so much of his life bundled up and tucked away out of sight, but Dietrich thinks that the movements necessary to crawl bother him too. He always moves forward slowly and carefully before wobbling, stopping before he can possibly be tired, and sitting down to shrug his skinny shoulders. Crawling just seems to pull at his wings in a way that he doesn’t like.
Karla is the one who suggests that they should just show him how to walk. So they try, one bright sunny morning in the family room. Father and Mother are there, surprisingly, watching as Karla helps Hermann to stand up and then lets him clutch at her hands to keep himself that way. She moves a step forward and tries to encourage Hermann to follow along. He refuses to move, but stays upright, staring at the rays of sun streaming in through the windows. He makes a happy sound, and that startles Dietrich because Hermann has been so quiet for so long.
.
Grandfather and Grandmother come to visit on Hermann’s first birthday, which means that Father wraps him up very carefully again. Hermann seems to fight it more this time, and it makes Dietrich oddly pleased. He wishes that Hermann didn’t have to be stuffed into uncomfortable shirts all of the time just to make other people happy, especially not when he moves so much better with his shirts off. Though Father had scolded them the first time it had happened, he and Karla had worked out that Hermann has much better balance when he’s shirtless. His steps are steadier when his wings are out, and he seems to makes noises more often then too.
At least nobody tries to put him into the bassinet which has finally become too small for him. Instead, Father sits him on a blanket spread out in the living room. Dietrich has brought down some of his toys, and Hermann is clutching at his bear, but his attention seems split between the shiny ribbons in Karla’s hair and the birdsong coming in though the open windows. Dietrich smiles at him and reaches over to poke him gently in the side. Hermann starts, turns to look at Dietrich with surprised eyes, and then giggles, waving his arms gleefully in the air. It’s a good sound, and Dietrich laughs with him, realizing that he always wants Hermann to be happy like this.
==Toddler==
(1990; "Hatchling": Two; originally posted as "Karla".)
===Meta===
Endnotes: 
In the Athene Noctua world, Karla seems to have been established as having a bit of an antagonistic relationship with Hermann when they’re younger, especially compared to Dietrich’s role as the mature caregiver and Bastien’s as the hero-worshipping little brother, though she obviously still loves and takes care of him. I tried to show the beginnings of that here by having her be sometimes annoyed or upset by Hermann, and the difficulties that (she assumes) he brought to the family.
I also wanted to bring in Birgit Gottlieb. Pickleplum hasn’t written her much, so I took my cues primarily from a conversation with Plum, as well as from the first section of their Not Everyone Agrees. Based on these, Birgit is a somewhat dispassionate person in general, and Hermann holds much more interest for her as a test subject than as a child. None of her other creations developed enough to be born, and she is horribly interested in seeing what Hermann’s body is and isn’t capable of. However, she also has depression, and Lars’ destruction of her research and his forbidding her to use Hermann as a test subject isn’t improving the situation. Dietrich and Karla don’t know any of this because neither parent considers it to be the business of children.
This chapter is meant to span roughly the second year of Hermann’s life. I’ve been trying to follow a baby’s milestones chart as I write these. Hermann is typically hitting the mark just shy of average because he has experienced abuse and neglect, and there is only so much that well meaning older siblings can do. Lars is still doing things mostly behind the scenes, and he is still very much Hermann’s primary caregiver.
===Text===
Even though he’s finally worked out how to walk without wobbling (much) or holding on to the furniture, even when he’s wearing a shirt, Hermann has suddenly decided that he likes being held. He doesn’t raise his arms in supplication to ask, instead he just gets it into his head to follow her or Dietrich or occasionally even Father around the house the best he can until he can cling to their pants with a fierce determination. 
It annoys Karla because she doesn’t always want to have to stop in her tracks and pick him up until he decides he is done, but she also doesn’t like the way his eyes get big and wet if she tries to pull open his little fingers and simply walk away from him. 
It’s easy to carry him, at least. Hermann is deceptively large. Karla is six, and not the biggest person in her year, but Hermann is so light that holding him feels like nothing more than carrying a doll.
.
When he’s fifteen months old, Hermann trips down the single step merging the family room up into the kitchen. It happens during one of the times when Father, having important work to finish, has declared a period of mandatory silence. Dietrich had retreated up to his room, but Karla had decided to stay downstairs and read on the couch. Hermann had been playing intently with a wooden airplane on the floor when something out of her vision had caught his interest and he had toddled out of the room, caught his foot on the stair, and crashed to the floor.
He’s fallen before, of course, and Karla lowers her book to watch him right himself. He doesn’t, however. He’s still for a moment, long enough that Karla gets up to check on him. She kneels down beside him and reaches out to touch his shoulder, and then he starts to scream. She falls back, startled; Hermann hasn’t made such a big noise since he was a newborn. He’s loud, and seems louder for the previous silence. 
Not sure what to do, Karla runs for Dietrich. They race back downstairs to find that both Father and Mother have responded to Hermann’s cries. Father is helping Hermann to sit up on the kitchen counter, allowing Mother to examine him. He turns an angry glare to them when they enter the room, demanding to know what had happened, and then almost immediately dismissing Karla and Dietrich to their rooms once Karla has provided him with a response.
Much later, Father comes to her and explains that Hermann’s bones aren’t the same as hers. They’re not as solid, which is what makes him so light, but it also means that they break much, much easier. He tells her that Hermann has most likely had fractured bones before, and often, but this time it was just severe enough to cause tears. It all sounds terrible to Karla, and she goes to find Dietrich as soon as Father has left the room. 
He’s on the living room floor, with Hermann, who is laid out on his uninjured side. Someone – Mother – has splinted his lower arm. Dietrich has a hand wrapped around one of Hermann’s feet. Karla sits next to them and runs her fingers through Hermann’s hair. He’s making quiet, pained noises. She’s suddenly very glad that she doesn’t have his wings.
.
Dietrich has gone with Father to do the shopping, and Mother has asked Karla if she would like to help her give Hermann a bath. Mother is smiling and her hair is pinned up with a pretty clip and she is wearing the blue dress that Karla loves. She says yes, and leaves happily when Mother tells her to get Hermann and bring him to the bathroom.
Karla enters his room to find Hermann sitting on the floor in a beam of sun, staring out the window through the spaces in the blinds. Father had changed and dressed him before they left, and Dietrich had brought him downstairs, but Mother had carried him back to his room. He can’t open doors yet, and Mother says that it’s more convenient when she doesn’t have to think about him. Karla hates being sent to her room, but at least she has things there to entertain herself with. Mother always forgets to bring any of Hermann’s things down off the shelves for him.
“It’s bath time, Hermann.” Karla picks him up and runs a hand up under the back of his shirt, petting at the mess of soft little feathers there. Hermann coos at her and kicks his feet happily. 
Mother has run a shallow amount of water into the tub when Karla gets there, and she has the baby shampoo and a washcloth sitting on the edge of the tub. She holds out her arms and Karla passes Hermann to her. He starts to squirm immediately. Instead of holding him closer to comfort him, Mother moves right to pulling off his clothes and promptly deposits him into the water. Hermann freezes, seeming to be stuck undecidedly between the delight he normally displays at having his wings freed and displeasure at becoming so suddenly wet. 
Karla dips a hand into the water and flicks a few drops at him. He turns to glare at her and she laughs, and then moves in to tickle his side. “Stop agitating him, Karla,” Mother orders. She upends a cup of water over Hermann’s head and he stills again as it runs down his neck and through his feathers. His wings and back twitch agitatedly in response. 
Mother lathers the shampoo in her hands before running them perfunctorily though Hermann’s hair, then soaping the cloth and rubbing it over his body. She tells Karla to run a fresh cup of water and rinse his hair and she does, using her hand to shield Hermann’s eyes from the shampoo, the way she’s seen father do, then splashing some more water up to remove the soap from his chest and arms. 
Hermann is twitching even more now, shivering, Karla realizes, despite that the water is still tepid, and his wings are held out, aloft from his body. Mother reaches out and pats them back down, pushing the tips into the bath. “Did you know that not all birds are able to waterproof their feathers?” Mother asks. 
Karla shakes her head no. She bites down a comment that Hermann isn’t a bird, because Mother knows that and because Mother does not like being corrected. 
“They’ve sacrificed that ability for feathers that allow them silent flight,” she continues, splashing water up on Hermann’s back. “However, this has left them prone to becoming waterlogged, should they get wet.”
Hermann has hunched in on himself when Mother stops, and Karla can see that his wings are hanging down heavily and all of his downy feathers are plastered to his skin. He looks miserable. 
Mother pulls him from the tub and passes him to Karla. 
She takes him, surprised at how much heavier he seems. 
Mother [wraps a towel] around Hermann, pinning down his wings in an effort to cover him up [completely, then] puts away the shampoo and gathers up the washcloth and the clothes that he had been wearing. “Hold him until he dries,” she says, leaving the room. 
Karla’s wet now too, and Hermann is shaking in her arms and not fighting the towel binding his limbs at all. She takes him back to his room and sits them down in the rocking chair, swinging her legs idly and wishing that Dietrich had stayed home instead of going with Father.
.
Hermann is a little over eighteen months and he’s noisier now than he’s ever been, but he isn’t talking yet. Dietrich tells her that he should be, and Karla knows that he’s been researching these things, but Father and Mother don’t seem worried when he tries to talk to them about it.
There isn’t any use speaking to Father and Mother about things they don’t want to hear, so Dietrich doesn’t try again. Instead, he tells her than they should read to Hermann more, and they start making sure that he’s in the room when they’re doing school work, so he can listen to them talk about it. Karla eventually gives him an old box of crayons and a pad of paper, so he sometimes scribbles as they work. 
They start explaining to Hermann what clothes he is being dressed in or what foods he’s eating, and it seems silly to Karla to narrate everything they do, but she really wants to know what Hermann sounds like. 
It’s almost another month before Hermann actually does speak, and it isn’t to either her or Dietrich, despite their work. 
They’re going out, as a family, and Hermann is going with them. It’s to a party for Father’s work, which means that Karla has on shoes that mustn’t be scuffed and that Dietrich isn’t tugging at the tie around his neck. Hermann has on a pair of pants over a cotton one-piece that Father explains will prevent his shirt from riding up and exposing his back and he is attempting to put on a high-necked sweater over that. Hermann is fighting him determinedly with a desperation born of both being woken early from his nap and having his wings trapped down. Father looks nonplused, but Karla can tell that he’s getting frustrated. Mother still isn’t ready either, and Father dislikes arriving anywhere late. 
“Sit still, Hermann,” he demands. Hermann doesn’t comply, seeming only to get more agitated. He glares up at Father and says, so softly that Karla isn’t sure if she’s imagining it of him, “No.” 
Beside her, Dietrich straightens up, his hand coming away from the collar of his shirt. “He talked!” he says, excitedly. Father has stopped trying to force the sweater down over Hermann’s head and is staring at him instead. “Hermann,” he says, “sit still.” Hermann’s glare seems to intensify, and he puts his arms stubbornly at his sides. “NO.” There’s no mistaking it this time, still quiet, but completely resolute. Father puts down the sweater and runs a hand through his carefully combed hair. “I’m going to check on your mother. Dietrich, dress your brother.” 
It takes both of them to coax Hermann into the sweater, and Karla has to hold him still when Dietrich goes to put on his shoes, but they’re all presentable when Father comes downstairs alone. Mother doesn’t go to the party and they all arrive five minutes late.
.
Hermann is still fairly quiet after that, but he does start asking for things vocally more rather than physically over the next several months.
Dietrich starts trying to teach Herman the names for the parts of his body, which normally devolves into tickling, and they start giving him the options when they play with him, asking if he would rather play catch or build with his blocks. (The answer is nearly always blocks.)
Karla gives him a partially filled coloring book and tells him what the colors are and shows him how to fill in the lines. He pulls himself up onto the chair next to her and watches intently, but he still can’t do anything beyond scribbles. 
He says her name before he does Dietrich’s, and he doesn’t say it right, but she still feels somewhat proud.
Mother has a tape recorder which she sometimes turns on when Hermann is being particularly vocal. She tries to get him to make other sounds too, bird calls, before Father catches her doing so and they have to go into Father’s study to have a Private Talk.
.
Hermann still fights Father when he dresses him to hide his wings, but he struggles less when he has shoes put on. He loves being allowed to leave the house, and she and Dietrich are increasingly permitted to talk him out into the yard as long as they promise to watch him closely and not let him tug up his shirt.
They listen to Father, mostly. Their house is outside of town and far from the road, and they rarely get visitors without warning. Sometimes, when one of them has checked to be sure that Father is working with his door closed, they take off Hermann’s shirt and watch the wind play through his down. He loves it, and gets frustrated on the days when they make him keep his shirt on, until they start letting him have his way more and more. 
Eventually, Father catches them. Karla and Dietrich are sitting with their backs to him, trying to get Hermann to ask for the red block, when Hermann turns his attention to something behind them. Hermann often focuses on things that they can’t see, and they think nothing of it until he says, “Father.”
Dietrich whips around and Karla follows suit, dread building in her stomach. Father is quiet for a very long time, even though he is angry with them, his mouth set in a hard line that screams of disappointment. He doesn’t yell at them, though. Instead he sits down with them, very carefully, frowning at the creases forming in his pants, picks up Hermann’s discarded shirt, and explains to them that there are people who would be interested in knowing how Hermann’s body works, and that they might hurt Hermann to satisfy their interest. What he tells them is scary, and Karla wishes he had yelled instead. When he finishes, he doesn’t get up. He rearranges his legs instead, making himself more comfortable, but he doesn’t say anything further. 
Nobody does, for awhile. It isn’t usual for Father to spend time with them outdoors, if they aren’t vacationing. Hermann breaks the silence by bringing an armful of blocks up to Father. He drops them at his side, his wings beating widely at his back, and asks, “Red block?” None of them are red, but it really doesn’t seem to matter, and Karla can’t help but laugh at the look on Father’s face.
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