INF-101 Directive SG217

INF-101 Directive SG217 was a set of regulations issued by Spartan Commander , to be enacted specifically aboard the UNSC Infinity. Its purpose was to advise personnel on matters of interaction and protocol concerning one SPARTAN-G217. Its ruleset was subsequently dubbed the "Things Dyne Is No Longer Allowed To Do On Infinity."
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ATTENTIONALL INFINITY PERSONNEL
The following is to be henceforth considered mandatory reading for all persons
having any contact with Infinity Spartan Branch operatives or whose duties
take them onto S-Deck. The following advisories must be reviewed regularly for
frequent updates, at a rate of no less than one (1) time per month. Failure to
abide by these regulations means any loss in materiel, lab equipment, or other
supplies or belongings will be considered the reader's own fault, and will
receive no special priority for replacement or recompense unless critical.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
As of April 1st, 2557, Specialist SPARTAN-G217 is hereby prohibited from the following:
===INF-101 Directive SG217-A: Procedural===
#Treat “shoot first, ask questions later” as Standard Operating Procedure.
#Submit any requisitions in the same folders as vacation requests.
#Load live rounds in vehicles reserved for War Games use.
#Store remote disarmers in close proximity to remote detonators.
#Make taunts to Brutes Grunts the enemy over TEAMCOM except when strategically valuable.
#Question if the S-Deck commander has been democratically elected Form political parties for the purpose of running for election as S-deck commander Form political parties of any kind. See SG217-C-8.
#Make the excuse “Galactic Daylight Savings Time” for reprogramming Spartan HUD mission timers to permanently display “13:37” or any other deviation from actual mission time.
#“Superhero” is not an officially recognized rank in Spartan Branch nor the UNSC at large, and may not be used as an excuse to disregard chain of command.
#Infinity’s Spartan Detachment Commander is Commander Palmer, not a Commander Shepard, or “FemShep,” and her methods for dealing with unconventional situations are not “Renegade Interrupts.”
#Use the Infinity PA system to read his own morning announcements. In fact, forbidding SPARTAN-G217 from using the PA system at all sounds like a pretty good idea.
#Accessing any Chatternet site which uploads enough malware to make Roland ██████████ █████ ██████████ ever again.
#Submit after-action reports containing “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”
#Submit after-action reports containing any Latin, including idioms. Unless encountered Forerunner constructs really did speak to him in Latin.
#Apply “artistic license” to decryption of any Forerunner artifacts or translation of enemy communications.
#Take the “drop” in Pelican dropship literally.
#Discuss the activities of ONI agents with their parents anyone below appropriate clearance level ANYONE.
#Classify acquisitions of Infinity away teams as “Object Class Keter”.
#Briefings have not been dumbed down, “” is the mission parameter.
#Infinity’s motto is “Audere Est Facere,” not,
##“Per Audacia ad astra.”
##“To boldly go.”
##“Arms treaties can suck it!”
##“Overcompensating for something.”
##“Okay, but two Super MACs.”
##“How many could this have bought?”
##“Like, stupid OP.”
##“Run it over, our shields can take it.”
##“Throw more SPARTANs at it!”
##“But can it do a ?”
##“.”
#Paint MJOLNIR chest plates of SPARTAN-IV personnel red.
#Be allowed, under any circumstances, authority or privileges permitting SPARTAN-G217 to edit these regulations, especially to read "not prohibited from".
===INF-101 Directive SG217-B: Conduct===
#Comment on tactical disagreements between Infinity’s Commanding Officer and Spartan Detachment Commander with “I hate when mom and dad fight.”
#Comment on the casualty totals of the Human-Covenant War during conferences with Sangheili leaders.
#Comment on the lack of military support the Sangheili are lending the UNSC in the same instances, especially under a minute apart from each other.
#Comment on Chatternet sites. See SG217-C-8. At this point, comments in general should be subjected to a vetting process or kept to self.
#Tell SPARTAN-IV personnel “Kids could do better.”
##Even if they could.
#Mislead SPARTAN-IV personnel to believe SPARTAN-III augmentations include laser eyes.
#Yell “abandon ship!” when Infinity’s Commanding Officer is announced going ashore.
#Use “a childhood of military training, ruthless physical conditioning, and psychological indoctrination” to excuse fraternization with SPARTAN-G018.
#Organize betting based on the outcomes of Spartan War Games simulation combat exercises.
#Tamper with actively assigned MJOLNIR equipment to rig bets based on the outcomes of Spartan War Games simulation combat exercises.
#Challenge the to solve paradoxes.
#Put orders from Infinity cafeteria ‘on his tab.’
#Designate "team backup EOD technician".
#Designate team positions by drawing straws.
#Complain “now that they're fun to fight again.”
#Spartan Palmer's strategic decisions have nothing to do with the the SPARTAN-IIIs were trained for, stop asking.
#Tell Spartan Ikari to "get in the fucking Mantis."
#Challenge anyone to drinking contests until his twenty-first birthday on December 10th, 2560 (Military Calendar).
#Insist rogue elements “did nothing wrong”.
#Posit absurd conjecture such as “” to Infinity xenoarchaeology or ONI REAP-X personnel.
#Inform new personnel the only latrines are on the other end of the ship.
#Inform new male personnel they might “have a shot” with Spartan Commander Palmer.
#Inform new female personnel they might “have a shot” with Spartan Commander Palmer.
#Inform they might “have a shot” with Spartan Commander Palmer.
#Interact with any personnel still undergoing Infinity orientation.
===INF-101 Directive S1139-C: Research and Development===
#Deconstruct MJOLNIR torso plates to use their nuclear reactors for any reason.
#Develop olfactory anti-Jiralhanae countermeasures outside of airtight lab environments. Again.
#Research any further enhancements to THERMOPYLAE-grade prosthetic implants for the purpose of “giving Kodiak kick-ass robot arms”.
#Ever bring up the idea of chainsaw bayonets again. And chainsaw swords are right out.
#GEN2-compatible are not to be created “because all the new ones look stupid.”
#Attach active camouflage generators to anything, including but not limited to: Warthog ignition keys, alarm clocks, COM pads, Infinity Science Lead's glasses.
#SPARTAN-G217 is expressly forbidden from experimenting with for the purpose of replicating with UNSC equipment, constructing recoilless gravity rifles, or any other technology regardless of speculated utility. Gravity technology should only be used to keep your feet on the deck.
#Developing intra-ship social networking platforms as social experiments, nor to provoke political discussion on any such platform. The resulting drops in performance efficiency are unacceptable.
#While the is awesome, all work on the "Gun-snowboard" is to cease immediately.
#Neither Infinity’s holographic imaging suites nor the War Games simulation chamber are “holodecks” and are not to be used to recreate sequences from any film, series, and especially not Chatternet videos deemed ‘viral’. How many cats were in the latter has no bearing on this decision.
#Suggest alternate forms of ammunition for the MAC guns including Mantises, himself, or “a giant metal ball with spikes on it.”
#Attempt construction of any ramp or vehicle launch mechanism aboard Infinity. Again. Yes, it was awesome. No, it doesn’t excuse the collateral damage.