Stories of Randomness II

Welcome to the second installment of Stories of Randomness! This time, there's a surprise that you should see once you keep reading! ;) So sit back, relax, and read this special episode. Enjoy!
==The Glasses==
===Script===
*(Rack is taking a walk in town.)
*Rack: Ah, what a beautiful day in USville! NH is occupied........
*(Cut to NH on a pole which is tied on his leash; he tries biting it off and running in circles.)
*Rack: US is out of town on a meeting.......
*(Cut to US during a meeting, sleeping; The Dep. Mayor is next to her, with an unamused look on his face.)
*Rack: And Rig's entertaining NH while I'm gone........
*(Cut to Rig singing off-key; NH howls, his ears hurting.)
*Rack: Ah, all alone. Hm, what to do?
*(Rack starts walking, not watching where he's going; He then trips, his glasses falling off.)
*Rack: Oh no! My glasses! I can't see a thing without my glasses!
*Velma lookalike: Don't steal my material!
*Rack: Huh? Who was that? Whoa......... I can see colors everywhere......
*(Rack runs around everywhere like crazy.)
*Old Man: Are you okay, whippersnapper?
*Rack: NH? Why are you out here? I thought you were at home.
*Old Man: What are you talking about? My cataracts prevent my hearing.
*Rack: We'll get that checked out later. Anyway, let's go home doggie!
*Old Man: Are you deaf?! I just said I'm difficult of hearing! That's a thing I hate about today! No one listens to each other, especially the elderly, which is sad since we're full of wisdom.
*(A fart sound is heard.)
*Rack: Huh, you sure are ranting more than usual today. Oh well. Let's go home.
*(Rack carries the Old Man.)
*Rack: Huh, you're more furrier today than usual.
*Old Man: Let go of me, whippersnapper! Or I'll call Life Alert on you!
*Rack: You're funny, doggie.
*Old Man: That's it!
*(The Old Man kicks Rack away.)
*Old Man: That's another thing I hate about today! Everyone doesn't mind their own business! Back in my day, we left each other alone and didn't bug each other. Oh, I miss the old days. Why they were........
*(Cut to Rack.)
*Rack: Whoa.......... these colors are itter........ I should go without my glasses more often! I wonder why doggie kicked me, though. Oh well.
*(Rack continues walking in random directions.)
*(Rack then bumps into a fire hydrant.)
*Rack: Oh, hey US, I didn't know you'd be back here by now. Oh well.
*(Rack smells the hydrant.)
*Rack: New shampoo, huh?
*Man: Freak.
*(Offscreen, the man's dog pees on Rack's head.)
*Rack: Huh, the weathermen didn't say it'd rain today. Oh well. It was nice talking to you, US.
*(Rack continues to walk in random directions.)
*(Rack then bumps into a building.)
*Rack: Oh, hi Rig. Got tired of singing, huh? And, dang, you're like some sort of building or something today. Oh, you lost your voice, didn't you? Oh well. I'll see you later!
*(Rack continues to walk in random directions.)
*(Rack bumps into a pole.)
*Rack: Oh, sorry miss, I- what was that? You want me to kiss you? Okay!
*(Rack kisses the pole. From his point of view, he is kissing an attractive woman in a bikini. In reality, he is kissing a rusty aged pole.)
*(Cut back to reality. A mom and her kid pass by, seeing this.)
*Kid: Mommy, what's that man doing?
*Mom: Don't look at him, honey! He's just some sicko!
*(Rack finishes kissing the pole.)
*Rack: Huh, my lips feel funny. I hope she didn't have bad breath. Oh well.
*(Rack continues walking in random directions.)
*(Rack goes inside a store.)
*Cashier: Are you alright, sir? Your hair smells weird and your lips could use some water.
*Rack: What do you mean? My hair's just wet from the rain and my lips feel funny thanks to a woman's bad breath.
*Cashier: Whatever. Why are in you here, anyway?
*Rack: I have no idea. I was just walking randomly seeing these itter colors and I guess I got in here.
*Cashier: Alright, I'm getting my gun.......
*Rack: Huh?!
*Cashier: Get out of here! There is no Skittles in here! Taste the rainbow somewhere else!
*Rack: I didn't do anything!
*Cashier: Get out or I'll shoot!
*Rack: You know, I have a theory about life.
*Cashier: I don't care. Just get out.
*(The Cashier kicks Rack out.)
*Rack: Sometimes, I feel life is all an allusion. Like, is someone watching us for their amusement? Or is someone dreaming all this up? Or is everything an allusion? Like, the world doesn't exist or anything. Or am I just crazy and talking to myself? Nah. Maybe life is real, but am I real? Am I just something somebody made up? Or am I just in somebody's head for some reason? Maybe I am thinking too much into this........
*(Rack doesn't watch where he's going, and falls, with his glasses back on his eyes.)
*Rack: Huh? Where am I? Why is my hair wet and why do I have rust on my lips? Oh well. I'll just go home and take a shower. Doggie must miss me, anyway.
*(Rack walks home.)
*THE END.
==The Beard==
===Script===
*(Rack's alarm clock beeps.)
*Rack: Ah...
*(US is right next to him.)
*Rack: Ah!
*US: That's not a very nice way to say "hi".
*Rack: Why were you watching me sleep?
*US: I don't see the problem. Dep. does the same to me every night.
*Rack: But, my alarm system-
*US: Yeah, Riiiiig ate it earlier.
*Rack: Oh well.
*(Rack gets out of bed, revealing a beard.)
*US: Ah! Raclk! What is that?!
*Rack: (looking in mirror): Huh... looks like I got a beard. Cool!
*US: No, not cool, my previously virgin eyes are even less virgin!
*Rack: What's with you and facial hair?
*US: It's unnatural!
*Rack: It actually is-
*US: Now, let me ask you a question: where is your shaver?
*Rack: I lost it.
*US: How do you lose your shaver? Can you explain that to me?
*Rack: I'm atypical like that.
*US: I guess, but we must get that off right away!
*Rack: But-
*(US is yanking on Rack's beard; Rack is howling like a wolf, in pain.)
*US: It only stings for a second.
*Rack: It's been more than a second!
*(US pulls too hard and she falls down; Rack is tending to his beard.)
*US: Hm.... time to be creative.
*(Cuts to US putting honey on Rack's beard.)
*Rack: I have a bad feeling about this...
*US: Hush, Paul Bunyan.
*(Bees appear, and Rack runs away.)
*Rack: You're crazy US! (Gets stung): Ow.
*US: Don't run! It makes them agitated. This is for your own good.
*Rack: Ah! (Gets stung): Ow. Ruined my screaming.
*(Cuts to Rig eating Rack's beard.)
*US: Third time's the charm!
*Rig: (coughs): Sorry, USSSSSSS, but this is too gross. But thankfully not as gross as what NH leaves in the bathroom!
*Rack: Um...... did she just-
*US: Hush, let me think. (Snaps finger): Perfect.
*(Cuts to US ready to do a bikini wax on Rack's beard.)
*US: Shall we do a full wax?
*Rack: What?
*US: Okay. Ready, set, go!
*Rack: N-
*(US quickly rips the wax off, but it fails to take the beard; Rack says unintelligible curse words.)
*US: Dang it! There's gotta be something else...
*(Cuts to Rack on a cold, hard surface.)
*Rack: What now?
*US: Lasers!
*(A gigantic laser hair remover appears.)
*Rack: Where do you get these things?!
*US: Hello! I'm the mayor! What do you think I do when I'm not onscreen?
*Rack: .......What screen?
*US: Never mind.
*(Rack tries escaping.)
*US: Don't move! It could hit the wrong-
*(Offscreen, the laser hits Rack's crotch.)
*US: Are you okay?!
*Rack: ......You know, that actually kinda felt good.
*US: Ew.
*(Cuts to US and Rack in Rack's room.)
*US: I give up. I guess I need to get used to being blind.
*Rack: Yeah, I'm sure you'll get used to it eventually!
*US: (Sniffs): Wait. Hold on a sec.... my "I know what'll fix this" smell is tingling!
*Rack: How can a smell ting-
*US: Ssh!
*(US "follows" the smell with her nose.)
*US: A-ha!
*(US finds the shaver in Rack's shower.)
*US: Why is it in your shower?
*Rack: Oh! I was cleaning up some hair that was clogging the drain.
*US: Excuse me while I throw up. But, Raclk, prepare to say "hi" to my little friend, and bye to yours!
*Rack: No-
*(Offscreen, shaving sounds are heard, with US laughing maniacally and Rack yelling in pain; it then cuts back to the duo; Rack is clean shaven and is in a fetal position, with US proud of herself.)
*US: (Blows shaver): Love ya!
*(NH barges in, and has a beard and hairier fur.)
*NH: Ah, I love my new beard! And it feels so good to be free with so much fur!
*US: (Turns shaver on): Shall we do the full treatment?
*(NH gulps.)
*THE END.
==A Wolf's Tail==
===Script===
*(Episode begins with NH and Rack in Rack's house.)
*Rack: Bye NH! I'm going to the dirt store for dirt! Be back later! I left enough kibble for you to last the day!
*NH: You know I hate kibble! Why would you...
*(The door closes.)
*NH: Of course. Well, at least the human's gone.
*(NH reads outside.)
*NH: RIG! I need you!
*(There's no response.)
*NH: Hmm, where did my evil intern go?
*(Cut to Rig dancing romantically with a tire at a party.)
*(Cut back to NH.)
*NH: Ugh, guess I need to do my evil work by myself... what is this think behind me?
*(NH looks at his own tail.)
*NH: When did this parasite get here? Get off!
*(Silence.)
*NH: Silence huh? Then I shall bite you!
*(NH tries to bite his tail, but it keep moving.)
*NH: Ah, I see you're one quick little devil. But you're still not fast enough for NH!
*(NH chases his tail in circles again and fails.)
*NH: Hmm, I have underestimated you, my enemy. Time for a little brain power!
*(Cut to NH in his lab. He's working on a device.)
*NH: This new gadget should get you now!
*(NH fires the gadget and it explodes in face.)
*NH: Tricky little one, sabotaging my invention. Well well, I have more tricks up my sleeve...uh, fur.
*(A montage begins to play.)
*Plan C
*(NH drinks a chemical he made in the lab and starts chasing his tail at an unnatural high speed, but still doesn't catch it.)
*Plan D
*(NH lights a fuse on a stick of TNT and sits on it. It explodes and blackens NH, but the tail is unharmed.)
*Plan E
*(NH is eating a sandwich.)
*Plan F
*(NH is chasing his tail again.)
*Plan 7
*(NH sprays acorn-scented water on his tail and tries to get a squirrel in a tree to pull it off, but the squirrel casually walks away.)
*(Cut to later.)
*Well, I've tried every plan in the book from A to pie. There's nothing left to do!
*(A motorcycle is heard outside. It stops, and a few moments later Rig crashes through the window.)
*Rig: Bye! See you next week!
*(The motorcycle is heard roaring away.)
*NH: Rig! Where have you been?!
*Rig: Dancing with tire!
*NH: Nevermind that. I need you to help me get this thing off from behind me!
*Rig: Okie Dokie!
*(Rig bites the tail. NH jumps up in pain.)
*NH: Crafty devil. Must be using some advanced technology that makes me feel it's pain. This mean we must move fast and finish it quick. Rig, go into the kitchen and get a knife!
*(Rig heads in and bring a knife back.)
*NH: I can't reach. You do it!
*Rig: But... but this is for food.
*NH: Nevermind that!
*Rig: Poor knify.
*NH: Just forget about the knife already!
*(NH bumps into Rig and drops the knife. It lands on his paw. NH stares wide eyed.)
*(Rack comes in at that very moment.)
*Rack: NH, I'm home! I'm not sure how that window broke, but it's okay because I got some dirt for... Holy cheese and crackers!
*(Cut to later that night at the vet. NH has a bandage tied around his paw.)
*NH: You win this round, parasite. The war has just begun.
*(NH narrows his eyes.)
*THE END
==My Show Episode==
===Script===
Sorry for taking so long to post this, I was kinda embarrassed, as this is not one of my BEST works, but I hope you guys like it and the pictures that go along with it.
*NH: Now, after 20 months of constructing, the many burns and injuries *looks at bandaged tail* and the mental breakdowns, I can finally unveil the NH and US Swapper To Make NH Mayor And Become Powerful and Takeover 3000! 
*Rig: That name is kinda long-winded. 
*NH: Shut up. I didn’t ask for your opinion. 
*Rig: Okie dokie. Gonna play with the squirrels now. 
*NH: Why do I deal with that imbecile? Now, time to test it on something. 
*
*NH sees Rig and a squirrel gnawing on acorns*
*
*NH shoots them both*
*
*They both look confused, then continue gnawing*
*NH: Yes, it works! 
*
*Rig pops up from nowhere*
*Rig: What does that do? 
*NH: But, you switched with the squir-- 
*Rig: I got bored of it. *has swapper in paws* What does this button do? 
*NH: Don’t press that! I don’t know what it does yet! 
*Rig: Okie Dokie! 
*
*Rig pushes the button anyway and it mixes her and NH together*
*NH: Now look at what you’ve done! 
*Rig: Was it good? 
*NH: It was the opposite of good! It was a-- 
*Rig: Awesome! 
*NH: *facepalm*
*Rig: I want manure. 
*NH: No, you idiot, we have to get uns-- 
*Rig: I want to get pie! Tire pie! 
*NH: Of all of the people to get stuck with, I get stuck with the most-- 
*Rig: Bestest puppy in the whole world! 
*NH: Stop cutting off my senten-- 
*Rig: I gots to pee! 
*NH: How are we going to pee and we're stuck like this? 
*Rig: Well, I already went. 
*NH: I don't want to know. 
*Rig: This is fun! 
*NH: Look, we need to find the device, so we can get unstuck and I can finally take over this pitiful town! 
*Rig: Can we get pie first? 
*NH: NO. Is that all you think about? 
*Rig: Nope. I also think about piggies and Tire and pizza and video games and--
*NH: I don't care! Now, let's get the swapper and get apart already so we can get on with our-- well, MY life already. 
*Rig: Look, there's a pie contest! 
*NH: I don't care! 
*Rig: And they're giving out a gun! 
*NH: What?! How did those simpletons get my NH and US Swapper To Make NH Mayor And Become Powerful and Takeover 3000?! 
*Rig: They musta found it on the ground! 
*Man: And, the prize for the winner of the pie contest is this gun I found on the ground! 
*NH: NO! If someone else lays their hands on that, they might mess up my chances of getting separated from this imbecile and getting control of the world! 
*Rig: I want to eat the pies! 
*NH: No! Wait, if you eat the pies, then we can win the gun back! 
*Rig: Look, it's the Mayo! 
*NH: Wait, she's here? Yes, my plan's coming to fruition. I'll be able to get my swapper back, get of this stupid puppy, then switch with the idiotic mayor, then takeover! 
*Rig: With pie! 
*NH: ...with pie. 
*Rig: Yay!
*
*NH/Rig goes over to the pie contest*
*US: I’m so going to win this. Because I’m the best at everything.
*Man: On your marks, get set, go!
*Rig: PIE!!!
*
*Rig starts eating the pies hyperly*
*Man: Whoa, that big dog really likes pies!
*NH: I’m not a dog!
*Man: Well, that big… non-dog really likes pies!
*NH: Ugh, how does she eat this? Pies are disgusting!
*Rig: No, they aren’t! Wait, I thought you liked pies!
*NH: When did I say that?
*Rig: Remember, you were talking about that big thing…
*
*flashback*
*NH: Okay, now understand what this is for again, right?
*Rig: Yes. Pie. Because you like pie.
*NH: No! Never mind, nothing gets through that thick skull of yours.
*
*flashback ends*
*Rig: Remember?
*NH: No, I was explaining what it was for! Which was for world domination! And, you ruined it when you baked a pie inside it!
*Rig: I don’t know what went wrong!
*NH: Are you done eating that garbage yet?
*Rig: Nope. *keeps eating pie* Now I am!
*Man: The big dog won! You get this gun I found on the ground!
*NH: *takes it* Yes! Now I’m free!
*Rig: What does this button do?
*NH: No, Rig, No-- 
*
*Rig presses the button again and they’re apart*
*Rig: Wow, I’m so big!
*NH: Why am I so short?
*Rig: I’m a boy now!
*NH: *facepalm* Ugh, I’m a midget.
*Rig: I’m finally a boy! I’m happy! I’m going to go tell the squirrels!
*NH: I wanted to be SEPARATED from the idiot and now I AM the idiot. 
*Rig: I’m going to play with the squirrels now! 
The End. 
Sorry everyone, for the sucky ending, because I can’t write to save my life. I can’t write for anything that I don’t own, so that’s why this story sucks so badly. I’ll take the criticism bad and good at the bottom. 
==Credits==
===The Glasses===
====Starring====
*Rackliffelikespurple as Rack
*New Heathera as NH (Cameo)
*Utter solitude as US (Cameo)
*Rigbybestie1510 as Rig (Cameo)
*Dep. Mayor as Dep. Mayor (Cameo)
*Old Man as Old Man
*Cashier as Cashier
*Velma lookalike as Velma lookalike
*Man as Man
*Dog as Dog
*Kid as Kid
*Mom as Mom
====Writing====
*Written by: Rackliffelikespurple
====Thanks====
To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.
===The Beard===
====Starring====
*Rackliffelikespurple as Rack 
*New Heathera as NH 
*Utter solitude as US 
*Rigbybestie1510 as Rig 
====Writing====
*Written by: Utter solitude and Rackliffelikespurple 
====Thanks====
To Rackliffelikespurple, New Heathera and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters. 
===A Wolf's Tail===
====Starring====
*Rackliffelikespurple as Rack
*New Heathera as NH
*Rigbybestie1510 as Rig
====Writing====
*Written by: New Heathera
====Thanks====
To Rackliffelikespurple and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.
===My Show Episode===
====Starring====
*New Heathera as NH
*Utter solitude as US
*Rigbybestie1510 as Rig
*Man as Man
*Squirrel as Squirrel
====Writing====
*Story by: The bright cube
*Written by: Rigbybestie1510
====Thanks====
I'd like to thank the Show staff Rack, NH, and US and myself (jk) for this, this is my first story and all, and, I know it's terrible, but thank you for reading!
I'd also love to give thanks to Bright for the idea. (Even though, I could have done better with this.)
===Special Thanks===
To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for helping with the episode.
==Other==
Well, that's it. I can't wait for next season's SOR! Hope you enjoyed it!
Category:Episodes