Episode 2/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of I Love Hip Hop SAGA. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from this episode.
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(Episode 1 recap.)
Sakura: *narrating* Last time on "Zombie Land Saga", you met me, Sakura Minamoto, a girl full of hopes and dreams! Then I got hit by a truck and died, which was sad and then it was like, "Just kidding! You're still here and good morning!" Crazy, right? Then, I ran away and got shot by a policeman and now, this weird guy says I have to become an idol and save Saga. Oh, yeah, did I mention I'm a zombie now? After all that, I feel, like, pretty much anything can happen.
(In the Abandoned Mansion, Sakura is worried, and looks at the other six zombie celebrities that she is with now.)
Sakura: They really did snap out of it after last night's show. Well, except for Tae, I guess. 
(Kotaro enters the room.)
Kotaro: Hello there, ladies. Congrats on your awakening. 
(None of the girls respond. Kotaro walks up to Junko.)
Kotaro: I SAID CONGRATULATIONS!
(He walks away and goes to the chalkboard.) 
Kotaro: I am your mysterious new idol producer, the Kotaro Tatsumi. Your job is to become pop sensations and save Saga from oblivion!
(Kotaro flips the chalkboard with his hand.)
Kotaro: Boom. Using all your legendary qualities...WE CAN PUT THIS PREFECTURE ON THE MAAAAAAP!
(Theme song.)
Saki: Man, this sucks. I don't freaking get what's going on.
Kotaro: Oh? What's stumping you?
Saki: You're saying I died? (Moves her fingers) So, how am I still moving around?
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Saki: Ha ha. Laugh it up my sleeve, ladies and gents!
(Sakura walks up while holding a microphone, slaps Tae's head three times, and in slow motion. Tae's head hits the wall.)
Sakura: *shouting at Saki while she has her microphone on in front of the audience* CAN YOU TRY TO HIDE THAT WE'RE ZOMBIES?!
(Audience gasps. Feedback whines. Saki lowers the microphone in shock.)
Sakura: How's anyone gonna believe we're idols if our heads pop off when we're mid-recital? That's not a thing people can do when they're alive! But I guess your brain must be rotting inside. Pure stupidity from a DUMBASS ZOMBIE!!!
Saki: All right, bitch, it is on. Think you got rhymes? I'll kick your ass all the way to Hoto Shrine!
Sakura: *rapping* Are you even listening? I couldn't be more succinct. If they find out what we are, then we go extinct. Don't you see they hate us? We're monsters to them! And if you don't accept that, this second chance is gonna end. The cops are trigger-happy, that's what happens when they're fearful. And you're gonna get a bullet to the brain if you're not careful!
(Kotaro beatboxes, resulting in a rap battle.)
Saki: *rapping in response* 🎵Bet you think you're so smart, but you ain't got no sense🎵
🎵You think a badass bitch like me is gonna run when things start to get intense?!🎵
🎵I was in a biker gang, or did you forget that?🎵
🎵I don't care about being an idol, don't wanna be no stuck-up brat!🎵
Yugiri: *she joins the rap battle while playing the Shamisen in a hip-hop rhythm* Yo! Hup, hup! Yo!
Lily: Hey, go!
(Lily puts Tae's head back on her body and places the microphone in her mouth. In doing so, Tae starts chewing the microphone.)
Lily: Yeah!
Sakura: 🎵I can't remember anything about my life before🎵
🎵But when I step up in the stage, it's like I found something to live for🎵
🎵You might think that I'm naive or just gullible🎵
🎵But I'm just trying to do something in this world that's meaningful🎵
Saki: 🎵I don't care about no memories before some swan song🎵
🎵Not like I can see my friends, my Tamagotchi's long-gone🎵
🎵You want meaning? Yeah, good luck with that, hun🎵
🎵Our lives our over, okay? We're done!🎵
Sakura: 🎵We're not done till I say we're done!🎵
🎵Our lives aren't over, we've just begun🎵
🎵I don't care if we're dead, doesn't mean we have to stop🎵
🎵We gotta keep moving, pushing forward till we drop🎵
🎵You think you're so tough, 'cause of your biker gang?🎵
🎵Then quit tryin' to run AWAY!🎵
(Kotaro mimics a vinyl scratch.)
Sakura: *rapping towards Junko and Ai* 🎵And as for you two, Tweedle Fortune and Tweedle Fame🎵
🎵Trying to act all shy when you know you got game🎵
🎵Got the talent, the experience, you girls have it all🎵
🎵So it's a spit in the face when you pretend to be small🎵
🎵Stop obsessing over why you can't win🎵
🎵Anything worth having is gonna take risk🎵
🎵Even zombie girls can rock the mic if they try🎵
🎵So stop with the excuses, take control of your lives!🎵
(Sakura directs her rap song to the audience.)
Sakura: Hey, grandma and grandpa! I'm talking to you, too!
🎵Don't let society try to put you in a coffin🎵
🎵Before you're dead, you got wisdom aplenty🎵
🎵Demand respect instead of sitting on a rocker🎵
🎵Remember, you're the OG shock collar🎵
🎵They wanna blame you for everything going wrong🎵
🎵But you're still here, heartbeat going strong! Uh!🎵
(Sakura drops the microphone, the whole audience applauds fevertly.)
Category:Episode Transcript
Category:Episode Transcript
es:Episodio 2/Transcripción