White Fox pro tip: seal hunting hacks

Ok hey guys, *static sound in the background, wobbly camera* welcome to my tutorial, this is Inuktiluk, and I am here to show you an ESSENtIAL trick for surviving in the Far North. This is almost as important as being fucking fat. So here we go... let's start!
So first, you have to find a little hole in the ice. These are a few inches wide and should be easy to find, especially in thin ice. These are probably a seal's breathing hole, they aren't fish so they have to breathe air! Then, when you hear a sucking noise, you know a seal has come up to breathe. That's when you can grab a harpoon and shove it down the thing's mouth! Now, all you have to do is detach the shaft from the harpoon, and use input as a shitty shovel to widen the hole, while the seal bleeds to death and you can finally get it out of the hole! Hold on and yank hare, those things are big and heavy, you know... ask for help on them if you're too scrawny... easy!
That's all for today, thanks for watching my tutorial, and remember to like and subscribe.
This article, for the comedically impaired and just plain retarded, parodies YouTube tutorials as a (kind of) humorous anachronism.
Category:Weird shit