Suicide....

One…
Two….
Three….
Four…
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Five….
Six….
Seven….
Eight….
Nine….
Ten……
Eleven….
Twelve….
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…..
Fifty….
No…. it was thirty….
Urgh… I lost count….
Just keep on stuffing yourself with them….
They won’t even have the least idea what happened to me… they won’t even find me….
A cold breeze brushed against his body, which lay on the floor. He was staring at the ceiling, squinting his eyes. He had wanted to keep count of how many pills he had eaten, but unfortunately lost count. He had been locked in his room for a while which felt like years.
Oh, I think it’s working…
Everything’s so fuzzy…
He squinted his eyes harder, not noticing how he was crying his eyes dry – because of the thoughts… those bad thoughts he thinks when he’s lonely… when he’s sad. He was about to die… because of one person. Because of him. Because of that… that old pervert…. He turned to his side, trying to stop the memories from coming…
Stop… stop… I already know what happened! STOP!
He screamed in his mind… His body felt so numb… He hated him.
Silence…
Am I going to die here just like that? They won’t even try to save me? Of course, they don’t care… No one does… You’re just a toy… Stupid… Stupidstupidstupid….
Ridiculous….
I don’t belong here…
I don’t care if I die…. I don’t care if they care… I hate them… I hate God… I hate my life… I hate myself… 
Why? Why did it have to happen? Why was such a disgraceful creature born on Earth?
Step.
Step.
Step.
Pause…
Knock, knock…
“You there?”
Kai…
No…
Nononononono…
He’s going to interrupt my death….
No….
This can’t be…
“Hello?”
Groan…
“You there, man?”
No…
Nonononono…
Leave… Leave, Kai… It’s my problem, I deal with it, go away… GO AWAY!
His mouth couldn’t open, he wanted to scream, his head was pounding… He was in pain… Trying to soften his sobs, so that Kai wouldn’t hear, he said “lea…….ve….”
“What the…”
Creeak….
No….
No….
“The f*ck did you do you little f*cker!?”
This can’t be…
Die! DIE!DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!!!!!!!!
TAKE ME DEATH! FASTER! PLEASE! I DON’T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE! PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASE!!!!!!!
Darkness….
Memories….
Good ones…
Bad ones….
Him…
No…
“NO!”
That mocking, disgusting laugh…
“HELP! SOMEONE! PLEASE!”
Him…
“NOO!”
Him…
Him…
Him…
Him…
My mind filled with him…
Die…
Die…
When you’ll die, nothing will matter anymore…
Nothing…
I promise…
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His eyes shot open. He turned his head, seeing his mother – she had a tear stained face and was sleeping on a chair beside the bed. Kai, his brother… was also sleeping, sitting beside his mother.
Suddenly, slap, his father slapped his hard across the face. His cheek stung, eyes welled up with tears… “You little…”
I know…
I know all that…
I know that you care,
But I don’t…
Can’t you leave me be?
Can’t you go away?
Can’t I die?
Can’t I be by myself?
You’re hurting me more than loving me,
Because if you loved me,
You would’ve known him,
You would’ve let me die,
You wouldn’t have hit me…
You don’t love me,
I don’t love myself…
“Don’t you know how we care!?”
I know that,
You’ve told me that multiple of times,
But I don’t care,
And you don’t either,
Because if you would,
I wouldn’t have been here right now,
I wouldn’t have been in pain,
I would have still been…
A...
His father hugged him very tightly, not letting go – never.
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(what happened after my suicide note… yeaah… D: i wrote it with third person point of view lol)