Something's Rotten in the State of Bloons

"Something's Rotten in the State of Bloons" is the fifteenth episode of SBFW: Finding Bigfoot, and the fifth episode of the second season. Written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway, the episode was first aired on 15th March 2022.
===Synopsis===
Jew Wario manipulates Mr. Renaud into thinking Mr. Gus is having an affair.
===Transcript===
[The episode starts at a funeral in a graveyard in Brazil, in which a picture of Adam Sandler is attached to a coffin decorated with bows and ribbons of floral tapestry and Impact font text reading “RIP LEGEND”. Those attending the funeral include Mr. Renaud, Jew Wario, Adam Walker, Scott Mama, and the military of bloons, which includes John., Rob and Josh. A hologram of the unnamed reverend from the first season appears to be officiating the funeral, using mashed-up voice clips from when he was alive.]
Reverend: We gather here today– 
[An automated voice interrupts.]
TTS Voice: –through video link to Heaven with the permission of God himself–
Reverend: –to celebrate the life of Ray William Johnson–
[The hologram rewinds.]
Reverend: –to celebrate the life of–
TTS Voice: –Adam Richard Sandler.
[Inexplicably missing from the funeral are Mr. Gus and Sex Edward. Jew Wario leans to Mr. Renaud, whom he is sitting to, and covertly whispers sweet nothings - read: lies - into his ear.]
Jew Wario: I bet Mr. Gus is off smashing his schbadonker into Sex Edward.
Mr. Renaud: [with a sigh] Don’t be ridiculous.
Jew Wario: I pray it not be the case but alas, it do be.
Mr. Renaud: Even if it were the case, honest Jew Wario, which I do reckon is speculation, this is neither the time nor place.
Jew Wario: That’s what Gusford said when he slid his crusty tail into your lieutenant’s vast, gaping–
Mr. Renaud: Mr. Jewish… why dost thou ruminate? And give thy worst of thoughts the worst of words?
[Mr. Renaud storms off, shocking the other funeral guests, who still fall silent in respect, before we cut to Renaud in his dressing gown in his Brazilian apartment. He has a mug of coffee in front of him that seems entirely full, and his eyes have been encrusted with the lavender jewels of sleep deprivation.]
Mr. Renaud: He couldn’t have. His only love is for me… I introduced him to elementary schools, I introduced him to high schools, I even introduced him to nurseries! Why can he exchange his love so swiftly? Am I not enough for that thick green layer of scales that decorate every swing of his obstructively large throbbing… tail? 
[A caption appears on screen that reads: “It’s a dick joke.”]
Mr. Renaud: Am I, a simple nonce, not enough? Stripped from my mayoral position in bloons, stripped from my status, cash and Epsteinial connections, what am I but a shaved ape… who fucks kids?
[Jew Wario enters the room.]
Jew Wario: Greetings, m’lord.
Mr. Renaud: Oh! Jew Wario… don’t even look at me! I’m not fit for human consumption right now.
Jew Wario: You look a mess, m’lord. You resemble horse feces shat out into a duck’s mouth and regurgitated into my hairy Jewish ass, m’lord.
Mr. Renaud: I’m fully aware, Jew Wario. I just can’t believe that Mr. Gus would do that to me.
Jew Wario: It’s not what he did to YOU that was the problem, m’lord.
Mr. Renaud: STOP CALLING ME M’LORD! I am less than your Lord, honest Jew Wario. I am your inferior! 
Jew Wario: Okay, m’piece of shit. Here’s your newspaper.
[Jew Wario dunks a newspaper onto Mr. Renaud’s lap. The headline reads “Bigfoot on the loose. Also, Conner Malarky has a triumphantly large cockmeister.”]
Mr. Renaud: Might as well know what’s goin’ on in Brazil. Now, who’s this Conner Malarky fella?
[The episode fades to black.]
Category:0fflinejoe
Category:SBFW: Finding Bigfoot
Category:2022
Category:2022 Episodes
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Category:Joke Pages
Category:JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:Episodes written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:LGBTQ+
Category:2020s
Category:Parodies