Dick

==General Info==
Richard (Dick) Tortellini (full name: Richard Emanuele Maria Alberto Giuseppe Francesco Hormisdas Angelo Lombardi Tommasso Tortellini) is an italian NHL player who played for the London Geoducks from 2007 - 2015. He had to retire early due to the Deez Nuts Incident. Post act 4, he is the husband of Tit and the father of Hannah and the 6 wolves. He has short term memory loss, but besides that he's probably the most normal MF in this universe.
==Background==
Richard was born in 1989 in Rome, Italy and grew up in a pretty average Italian house hold. He played hockey and managed to move to the US to join the NHL in 2007, then falling to the curse of the NHL and breaking up with his then girlfriend, Lois Griffin. Eventually, he had to move to London after the Reddit Takeover. There he entered his man-whore era and was the gayest fruit you could imagine, and falling in love with the goaltender on his team, Tit Smirnov. They played together and managed to win the cup in 2015, but became victims of the Deez Nuts Incident, leading to his early retirement and 2 year hiatus in which he developed PTSD and short term memory loss. Once he felt ok enough to function, he went on a search for Tit, finding him in the Salty Spittoon, but losing him again during the acts of act 4. Post act 4, he reunited with Tit and they started dating.
==Appearance==
Dick is 5'3" tall and around 185 lbs. He is usually seen with a curly mullet and faint beard. He has thick eyebrows, green eyes, a roman nose, and the same mouth as Marc Andre Fleury. He has 2 scratches on his face from general hockey injuries and a giant bite mark on his left arm, having been gained from an attack from an opposing goalie in 2014. He usually wears skin tight shirts and athletic shorts with some sort of Nike shoes.
==Hobbies and Interests==
Dick is a house wife incarnate. He finds house chores fun, but his favorite activity is to cook traditional Italian meals and make cheese. He's extremely good at making cheese, leading him to make a small business called "Dick's Cheese." He thinks hes very smart.
==Fun Facts==
*His voice claim is the "hello Mario" Luigi voice, but he has the talking mannerisms of Mario in that same video.
*He is not circumcised :(
*His short term memory loss has "laws of the universe" breaking affects
**for example: If he were to fall off a roof, he could forget, mid air, that he is falling, and he will stay completely still in the middle of the air until he remembers he's falling again.
*When he was pregnant with Hannah, he was in a wheelchair for the first 2 months of his pregnancy. He doesn't take it up the ass from Tit anymore
*His real name is so long due to a bit the Porksodafans did while playing "A Link Between Worlds" (in which he was the character Hilda) wherein as he was an Italian king in the Trog dream the game took place. He had a comically long name (Vittorio Emanuele Maria Alberto Eugenio Ferdinando Tommaso di Savoia) and because this was really funny, the Porksodafans gave him a long full name as a reference.
*Since he's Italian, he can only eat Italian food. If he has food that isn't Italian, he has an allergic reaction and has to be rushed to the hospital.
**he has an EpiPen filled with homemade tomato sauce just in case he takes an accidental bite of normal people food
*He pisses on the F3 square of The Toilet Grid
File:Full dick.png|Full Body Ref
Category:Side Characters
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