Lennea Golianis

Interview with Michael OsadaThank you for sharing with me Lennea Golianis! It was a great joy to learn from you in this experience and share with you some of the greatest gifts we can give. I honor you for being authentic with me, and I'm glad we got to discuss a topic that is a massive split and epidemic in human society, Narcissistic Abuse.
"I think as I have gone further along my own healing journey, I realized the importance of being in service, and I’m looking for more ways to do that in my life. Whether it’s volunteering or being a part of something like this, it really motivates me. To be of service, having a great time meeting like minded people while also giving back. Specifically the topic you’re talking about, I’ve been diving deep learning a lot from professionals, authors, and I just feel like as I’m healing, it’s really nice to share what I’m learning with others who might be in a dark space going through it or recovering from Narcissistic Abuse in whatever part of their journey they are in, and reminding them that they are not alone.
I guess just realizing how common this issue is, Narcissistic Abuse, emotional abuse is. Those things are really prevalent. A lot of people from all walks of life are suffering or have suffered through it. I think I just realized that it’s not an individual or unique issue. It's widespread. Anyone can be affected by it. It doesn’t matter your age. I think other people opening up about it as well - that also encouraged me to open up about it too.
I found the online communities were supportive, although I’m not a part of any of these communities who are speaking about it. It’s more so the people, doctors, psychologists, podcasters, people who are aware of that, and seeing all of the people who need that message and are tuning into that. It's also these leaders, they are open about their experiences as well. They’re not just teaching you from a textbook. They're also talking about their life experiences as well, and it adds to their competence in a way.
They are speaking from a place of being healed and sending out the message of what they’ve learned to overcome. But still, you can tell that they are very knowledgeable, resilient, learned a lot, but yet some of them have still found themselves falling into relationships like this even knowing what they know, so it really is a journey.
I think there’s layers to it. Of course you get the wisdom and are more able to spot the red flags. Yet, some people are really good at putting on a facade and basically selling themselves, and then you find yourself falling for it. I think there are red flags that are revealed and it’s basically up to you to listen to your internal guidance, that's like you sounding off an alarm, and continue, so I think it is about being in tune with how you feel.
10:03 I think after ignoring the feelings for so long, I feel like gaining the knowledge and also tuning into yourself, after a while, it basically becomes choosing yourself, to honor your feelings, cause it’s so easy to push them down push them down for a variety of reasons that cause you to do that. Finally I just realized I just have to choose me - especially if you’re not being considered by someone you trusted to consider you. I think you can only go so long lying to yourself, kind of trying not to trust those feelings, but they're still there. But yeah, it’s kind of like you’re living a lie. Support helps a lot, like being able to talk to you about it. Then you kind of realize that like I’m talking about this, and then that kind of reinforces that you’re living a lie, not with that person whom I'm supposed to be most open and vulnerable with.
Also, one more thing, if you’re someone who chooses others before yourself because I feel like that’s what I was doing, but like I said then I found myself talking to other people about it and having all of these feelings is when you realize that the most compassionate thing I can do for myself and for the other person as well is to release them. It is for you, but it’s also for them. It's for everyone.
It’s such a gift to be able to express yourself fully again. To be yourself, authentic, in integrity, align with your values.
I think like the hallmark of these relationships is confusion. I think when you’re in the thick of it, you just feel so confused, so that’s why I really tried to understand the dynamics of what’s going on. One of the biggest people who I think is very very intelligent is Richard Grannon. He’s real with you and he talks about his experiences. He is super confident and intelligent. Of course Teal Swan. Dr. Ramani. Ross Rosenberg. I really like watching podcasts too. Matthew Hussey for all things healthy relationships. And Ralph Smart. He answered my question in a live stream and talked a lot about not trying to force the slipper to fit in the context of unhealthy relationships, and how if it's the right slipper, it will fit. The last person I’ll bring up, Mel Robbins. She said something that I wish I had heard sooner, and it really validated me. We are energetic beings. Our energy should align with someone. If you feel that the energy is off, if there are negative vibes between you, that’s all of the evidence you need.
Teal I have been following for almost 7 years. Richard I only found when I was in the thick of this last relationship, when I was barely figuring things out and was so confused…I really enjoy the masculine energy in teachers. I feel like I don’t have any of that in my life. There are no masculine leaders as far as emotional intelligence. It's really admirable. Sam Vaknin, I’ve never tuned into him by himself. I think listening to both of them talking about the shared fantasy really helped me understand.
I still am consuming this content because I don’t want to repeat this again, that same experience, those same relationships. I also am in a very empowered state because I am just - really just like trying to now take all the actions. I have most of the knowledge, self-awareness and all that, but now it’s about really putting that into practice. So now I’m on that journey of starting to do that and see it reflected in my life rather than just seeing it in my mind.
Category:21st Century interviews
Category:Women