Nursery Affair/Transcript

This is the fanfiction story about Dan Conner and his affair. It is also a fanfiction story of the episodes of Roseanne during season nine where Dan was absent for seven times in the show. During the events, Dan won the lottery for their family which Roseanne was happy about it, even though she considered herself to be working class. This storyline has turned into a serious direction when Dan left his family to visit his mother, Audrey at the hospital at California for the holidays. He was supposed to see his mother while the family is getting gifts for Christmas. However, Jackie overheard his phone call as she thought he was talking to Audrey on the phone, and she became mortified and appalled for Roseanne after learning that Dan had an affair while he was in California. She confronts him as he admit that he did had an affair, but denies the fact that he slept with this woman who turns out to be his mother’s nurse in the psychiatric hospital. Jackie became furious at him for it and even calling him out on his behavior as well as saying that he’s like his father, Ed. She threatened him to tell Roseanne the truth, but there are times where things get awkward as Roseanne says something and Dan walks away while Jackie looks extremely disappointed at him. In their room, Dan told the truth to his wife about the affair. He was apologetic about what happened and still saying that he loves Roseanne, but she didn’t buy it. He claims that he never slept with his mistress, but he kept denying as Jackie point it out earlier by saying that Dan slept around with her during his trip. Heartbroken and angry, Roseanne kicks him out of the house after discussing about the lottery, the affair and the lies. After kicking him out, she became so depressed that she never left her room until her family try to snap her out of it which she did on her own. This season has been considered the worst seasons of the show due to the lottery plot line and the affair storyline. It is unknown on what Audrey’s nurse look like or sound like. She is a minor character, but she was not shown onscreen. She is part of the subject of season nine due to Dan’s affair as well as spending time together. She is referred to as Audrey’s “Nurse” and the characters would mentioned her by saying “She” as well as the main topic of the episode. This is the multiple stories of Dan’s affair in California during the holidays without Roseanne and the family. 
The episodes are the events during Dan’s trip in Season Nine where he was absent and mentioned throughout the series. 
# Someday my prince will come: Episode 5
# Pampered to a Pulp: Episode 6 
# Satan, Darling: Episode 7 
# Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti: Episode 8 
# Roseambo: Episode 9 
# Home is where the Afghan is: Episode 10 
# Mothers and Other Strangers: Episode 11 
Chapters 
# Dan and the Nurse 
These episodes aired in October, November and December as Dan was gone during Halloween and thanksgiving, but came back for Christmas to spend time with the family.
Sidenote: The Nurse Character is named Carmela Weiss in this scenario due to the fact that Audrey’s nurse is nameless and never had an onscreen appearance. 
Warning: The content of these stories includes drinking, smoking, language, sexual content and nudity. It will never be part of the Roseanne Universe due to adultery as well the other content. This season is a retconned one due to the fact that Dan died from his heart attack as well as Roseanne finishes her book as well as season 10 ends as well as The Conners Spin-off started without her. The whole storyline in season 9 is false as Roseanne made it up for her book. The whole story involved Darlene’s baby almost dying, Roseanne’s lesbian mother, Becky and Darlene’s relationships with their boyfriends switched as Darlene dates Mark as well as Becky dating David. Also, Dan had a heart attack and died after Roseanne finishes her book of her imaginary fantasy. This adult material is only canon and it’s not apart of the show without any other material from the whole story. View discretion is advised. 
=== 1. Dan and the Nurse ===
This takes place in Someday my prince will come as Dan leaves the family to go to California. However, things went very different as he falls for a younger nurse who takes care of his mother, Audrey. It is the start of a love affair. 
(It was a great time for Dan Conner to go on vacation as well as missing his family. He packs up his bags and goes to the airport. Although, he misses Roseanne, Jackie and the kids, he is very glad that they got the money after they won the lottery. It was the beginning of October before Halloween as Dan is ready to go to California to his mother, Audrey. He heads to the airport and got his seat on the plane. It was very crowded with a bunch of people with crying kids, rude people and people who are sleeping in their seats. Dan didn’t care as he hopes to go to California. After sitting in the plane for sitting in the plane, Dan spends five hours. The plane arrives in California and the people got out of and go to the airport. Dan had a cheerful smile on his face as he grabs his suitcases and bags and walked around. It was hot and there was a lot of people with smiles as well as good food in different places. Dan goes out and enters a nearby institution hospital where his mother currently resides in. It was busy in the hospital as well as the holidays coming up. There were decorations before Halloween from upstairs to downstairs. Dan had no idea on what’s happening. Then he goes to the receptionist who is working at the desk.). 
Dan: Hello, my name is Dan Conner, and I’m here to visit my mother, Audrey Conner. 
Receptionist: Oh, yes. Your mother is upstairs. It’s on the left side of the hallway, and her door has her name on it, sir.
Dan: Thanks. It sure is busy in here. Ready for Halloween to come?
Receptionist: Yes, I am. Every time, I get snacks, my husband tries to take one of the Kit Kat bars from the bowl, and I have to slap his hand to stop. 
Dan (Chuckles): Yeah. I would do that to if there was a bowl on the table with a bunch of Kit Kat bars. 
Receptionist: I bet you’re excited to see your mother on the holidays. 
Dan: Absolutely. I just won the lottery, and my family are really happy about it, so I came to see my mom for the holidays and setting her up would be good to make her feel better. 
Receptionist: How sweet. 
Dan: Yeah, I just came here for a couple of days and I’ll be back home for Christmas. Just wanted to make sure my mom is doing okay. 
Receptionist: That’s a very good thing to do, Dan. Your mother is upstairs and they’re setting her up and she got new medicine. 
Dan: Thanks. 
Receptionist: Anytime. 
(Dan smiles at her and she smiles back as she gave him directions. In the halls, he sees a bunch of doctors taking care of the mentally ill patients in the halls who are trying to get out or feeling sick. He shows sympathy as one of the doctors take care of the patients while a bunch of people walk away. He walks to the stairs and goes into the left side of the hallway and heads down to the room where Audrey is currently staying at. In her room, she’s situated on her bed and reading a book while drinking a cup of water. Dan sees the door and knocks on it. Audrey hears the knock and puts her book down.). 
Audrey: Hello? 
(Dan opens the door and brings out a bag full of goodies as well as smiling to his mother.). 
Dan: Hi, mom. 
Audrey: Dan, hey! Good to see you!
Dan: How’s your morning? The holidays are coming up. Are you excited? 
Audrey: Just feeling good. I just hope that you and the family are getting gifts for Christmas. Especially getting Darlene a sketchbook, getting Becky a teddy bear, and give DJ a brand new skateboard. Did you came here all by yourself? 
Dan: Yeah. I came here to see you for the holidays. Ready to get set up in here? 
Audrey: Yes, please. I’m glad that you get to help me out. Sometimes, they would talk about peanut butter, their pet dog or their love for fresh plants. Also, the doctors are getting my medicine ready, and they told me to rest and eat healthy food. 
Dan: That’s what you should be doing, mom. And I want to get you something for Christmas before I head home. 
Audrey: Oh, Dan, how sweet. 
Dan: Is there anyone helping you out in here? 
Audrey: The doctors are giving me brand new pills. Just pills for me to take with a cup of water and a meal. I think I’m doing okay. 
Dan: That’s good to hear, mom. I’m really glad they got you good medicine. I’m glad you’re doing better. 
Audrey: Well, I got extra help around here. The doctors are happy that they’re helping out, and I got someone who’s been very good to me. 
Dan: Really? Ah, that’s good to know. 
Audrey: It’s my nurse. I had her for a very long time. She’s been taking care of me, and I am grateful, even if she took days off sometimes. 
Dan: Oh, is she your doctor? 
Audrey: Yes. She’s a nurse that has been working with them for a long time. 
Dan: That can’t be too long, right? 
Audrey: Well, Dan. She worked here for a very long time in the facility where things were rough, but she volunteered to help me. She started to work as a nurse at a very young age. I think she was in college and went to work in her twenties. 
Dan: Where is she? 
Audrey: Getting presents for the holidays. She’s getting decorations and she’s going to help me get these things done. I have to take my pills with a glass of water. She’ll be here because it’s early. 
Dan: Well, is she coming? 
Audrey: Yes. She’ll be here in a couple of minutes before a crowd of people will block everything in every direction. 
Dan: Is she your nurse?
Audrey: Yes. She’s been my nurse for a very long time, and I am thankful and grateful for her support and her good nature. 
(Then a knock is heard on the door, and a male doctor comes in with a clipboard in his hand.). 
Audrey: Oh, Doctor Jones. How are you doing? 
Doctor Jones: Very good, Miss Conner. How are you doing today? 
Audrey: My son came here today to surprise me because he’ll be having a blast out here. 
Doctor Jones: That’s really great. 
Dan (Reaches his hand for a handshake): Hi, I’m Dan. 
Doctor Jones: Hi, nice to meet you. Are you visiting your mother? 
Dan: Yes, I am. 
Doctor Jones: That sounds very good. We actually got the pills set up and your mother is in good health. 
Dan: That’s great. Thank you. 
Doctor Jones: Audrey, are you expecting someone today? 
Audrey: My nurse should be coming here. She says she’s going to help me out. 
Doctor Jones: Well, I think I saw her car here, and she’s getting her stuff ready for today. And she’s coming right now. 
Audrey: Sounds good. 
Doctor Jones: I just want to say that we have an early exercise routine in about an hour, so you can chat with your son, Miss Conner. 
Audrey: Sounds very good, Doctor Jones. I am so glad that my son came by. 
Dan: I’m glad too, ma. 
Doctor Jones: Oh, excuse me, but I have to get back to get preparations for the patients in a minute. They’re putting up decorations in the art room. See you in a bit. 
Audrey: Thank you, Doctor Jones. 
(Dan and Audrey smiles at Doctor Jones as he walks to the door and closes it behind him. Dan sits on the bed next to his mother.). 
Dan: You know, Mom, everyone at home misses you. 
Audrey: Oh, I missed them, too. How’s Roseanne? I bet she’s going to be very busy when the holidays are coming up. 
Dan: She’s good, and she might be doing some Christmas shopping, so she’ll take the kids to the mall and get gifts for everyone.
Audrey: That’s very generous. Well, I’m glad she and the family are having fun on the holidays. And how’s her sister doing? 
Dan: Jackie? Oh, she’s doing good. She and her son, Andy are spending time with the family this year. 
Audrey: Seems like you got a huge family gathering. You know, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen them. I just hope when I get better, I’ll come to your home and see the kids. 
Dan: Don’t worry, Mom. It’s going to be okay. I’m gonna get you all set up and I’ll get you something for the holidays. 
Audrey: You’re very sweet, and I appreciate you for putting a lot of thought into this whole thing. I’m glad your family are going to have fun on the holidays, but aren’t you going to miss out on the fun things that they’re doing?
Dan: Yeah, but they’ll have fun. I mean, I have to come here to see you because I missed you. 
Audrey: Dan, that seems very sweet. I wish you can bring the whole family with you. That way it’ll be a vacation for all of you guys. 
Dan: Thanks, mom. 
Audrey: You know, I hope the family comes here and have a very long blast.
(She gets out of bed and looks at the clock to see if her nurse is coming.). 
Dan: Well, mom, I’m just glad that I came here to see you. And I hope I can bring Roseanne, Jackie and the kids here. 
Audrey: I’m glad that you came, Dan.
(Suddenly, Doctor Jones opens the door and comes in.). 
Doctor Jones: Audrey, your nurse is here. She just checked in. 
Audrey: Oh, that’s good. I’ll be right here. 
Doctor Jones: I’ll let her know when she gets upstairs. 
Audrey: Oh, thank you, Doctor. 
(The Doctor smiles at her and closes the door. Dan sits down on his chair in front of his mother.). 
Dan: So, is your nurse always this late? 
Audrey: Sometimes. She’s get in a hurry when she knows there are some things going on. When there’s holidays or any other event, she gets excited.
Dan: She must’ve been busy, huh? 
Audrey: Yes, she is. 
Dan: I guess we need extra help. I’m glad that she’s helping you out, ma. 
Audrey: She’s literally the best. 
Dan: Well, I’m glad about everything. I hope next time I can bring everyone for vacation and visit you.
Audrey: I wish them the best, and it’s going to be a long while before you can take the day off, or another vacation to bring the family. 
(A knock is heard on the door and Audrey knows who that is.). 
Audrey: Come in. 
(The door opens and Doctor Jones comes in with a huge smile on his face.). 
Doctor Jones: She’s here, Miss Conner. 
Audrey: Okay. I’m so glad she came. 
Dan: Hey, is there a concession stand around here? 
Audrey: There’s a cafeteria downstairs. They have a lot of food there so you can ask the lunch ladies if you want a snack. 
Dan: I’m just going to get something, Ma. It’s not like going to a cafeteria in school. 
Audrey: I know, but there’s always a huge line during the whole week. But there are times where so many patients want to get the last piece of dessert. 
Dan: I’ll get you water, and then we can set you up. 
Audrey: And talk some more? Cause I know you came here, and I want to catch up with your life and hear about Roseanne and the family.
Dan: I promise I will bring them here to see you. Maybe we can bring you gifts along the way. 
(After talking to his mother for fifteen minutes, Dan goes downstairs to get something for his mother to eat. He looks around and notice a bunch of psychiatric patients running around while the doctors are trying to restrain them. Some of them are in their rooms watching tv, eating their dinner or doing their practice hours. Dan looks around again and see a couple of doctors preparing their patients in their rooms with a couple of nursemaids. Before he can reach to the cafeteria, he notice the receptionist talking to someone who came by after checking in to work. He looks closely as he continues to walk and see a beautiful woman with a bright smile. He stops and looks surprise when she was having a conversation. He stops by the corner of the hallway and sees the woman’s name tag that says “Carmela” on it. He looks at her closely again. She was a beautiful woman as she look like she was a model in the 90’s. She looks like an absolute super star that everyone would fall in love. She was black hair, brown eyes and a tan complexion. Dan was mesmerized by her and stops in the middle of the hallway to look at her. The receptionist checks her in and the woman grabs her bag and puts it on her shoulder. She walks the other way and heads upstairs. But before she can do that, she went to the vending machine to get a drink for herself. Dan sees her and walks to her without her getting suspicious. He walks in a very quiet yet discreet manner just to get with her while she walks to the vending machine by the cafeteria. Then he stops and watches her put a dollar in the slot hole and the water bottle falls from its place in the machine and drops on the ground. She picks it up, opens the cap and drinks it. Dan looks at her and becomes more and mesmerized. Then she turns around and Dan becomes spooked and hides behind a tree in a vase, realizing that he had been caught. The woman looks at him and walks to him while holding her water bottle. Dan sheepishly comes out after he got caught. The woman looks surprise to him because he was a very tall man. Dan looks at her and smiles. ). 
Dan: I didn’t know who you were, but I have to assumed you were one of the doctors in this building. 
(She starts to smile at him.). 
Dan: You were walking so fast that I decided to catch up. And I see your tag that says “Carmela”and I became surprised. I hope I didn’t mean to make you anxious. 
Carmela: Good mornings are usually the time when I find things fun yet weird at times.
Dan: Yeah, it’s been a very fast day. 
Carmela: Were you following me in the hallway? 
Dan (Nervously): Well, I… um… I… yeah. 
Carmela: It’s okay. I didn’t know that they’re doing visitations this week. It kinda feels out of sorts. 
Dan: Yeah, I get that feeling, too. 
Carmela: Well, now that you’re walking around, now I see new faces today. 
Dan: Yeah, well, I have been a regular person to come around here in the facility. 
Carmela: I guess we should introduce ourselves. (She reaches her hand out for a handshake) Let’s start. My name is Carmela. It’s nice to meet you. 
(In shocked, he was fascinated by her beauty and her smile made him melt inside. He didn’t know what to say about this moment while talking to the woman. But he starts to feel warm as if a different feeling has come inside of his chest unexpectedly. He smiles and reaches his hand out for a handshake to her hand.). 
Dan: Well, nice to meet you, Carmela. I’m Dan. 
Carmela: I’m glad I have the pleasure to meet a man like you. 
(They handshake as they give each other smiles. Carmela continues smiling at Dan as he keeps smiling. Then all of a sudden, Dan’s heart begins to beat. He begins to feel these new feelings that he never felt before, except the time when he met and married Roseanne. His feelings for his wife faded away and begins to fall for Carmela. These feelings blossomed into a deep and loving one of a kind. And it has been a new and unique experience for both of them.). 
Title Card: “NURSERY AFFAIR”
(In this day, Audrey is sitting in her bed as she waits patiently for her son to come back as well as waiting for her nurse to come. Downstairs, Dan and Carmela walk with each other in the cafeteria to get something to eat. Dan and Carmela are starting to get know each other on a busy day.). 
Dan: So, you’re my mother’s nurse. 
Carmela: I work in this facility my whole life. Ever since I graduated from my old high school. When there was so many job offerings, I was intrigued and volunteered to help. 
Dan: I am really surprised that you got this job. How many years have been working in here? 
Carmela: Eighteen years. I was graduating high school when the job offerings showed up online. Things were sad and boring, so I decided to pack my things and get a job. It was time to move on. 
Dan: Sounds like you made it on your own in a very good start. 
Carmela: Yeah, it was a rough beginning. My family has been firm and they expected me to do something that can be beneficial. We have been working things out with the bills and the rent. 
Dan: You seem to have a very strict family. 
Carmela: Well, it is the harmful truth. 
Dan: Why it is harmful? 
Carmela: Because my family had their reasons and they set the bar very high. They’re very stern and they can be temperamental when it comes to jobs. 
Dan: I’m assuming they’re not those people who would be involved in some family drama feud about topics like voting or anything else.
Carmela: They’re very tough, but they have a good heart. They always have an expressive care for everyone in need. They’re very friendly and they always help people out.
Dan: Wow, I am very amazed. 
Carmela: It’s a very huge thing in my family. 
Dan: Well, I do wish I have relatives who can have that stigma. 
Carmela (Chuckles): You’re very joyful, Dan.
Dan: You’re joyful, too. And you’re quite peppy. 
Carmela: Peppy? I can be a little bit crazy when things go too far, but I enjoy talking to people and eating food in bed. It’s just my point of view. 
Dan: It’s a great view. 
Carmela (Chuckles): So, what do you want from the cafeteria? 
Dan: Well, I was going to get some water for my mom. Her name is Audrey Conner. 
Carmela: Oh, my patient! I almost forgot about her! Are you visiting her today? 
Dan: Yes, she’s my mother.
Carmela: I’m so sorry that I forgot about what’s going on. What are you getting for her? 
Dan: Just bottles of water. 
Carmela: Oh, we have a pitcher on the table and there are a few plastic cups.
Dan: Oh, I see them right there.
Carmela: They must’ve move stuff around when the doctors are gathering up more patients. They thought moving tables were easy despite the ongoing issues with everyone.
Dan: I guess they’re doing early routines. 
Carmela: Well, it is those days in Sunny California. The whole facility has been a purified storm when the times get rough, and everyone feels rushed.
Dan: Yeah, it’s a good thing I came because my mom is sick. 
Carmela: Oh, my god. I should be up there with her and getting her medicine. 
Dan: Here, let me help you out. 
Carmela: Oh, you’re so sweet. I just need a pitcher of water and I’m gonna get your mother some medicine. I didn’t know she was that sick. 
Dan: That’s why I’m here. I came to celebrate the holidays with my mom while trying to set her up. 
Carmela: My goodness, you came for a visit. Don’t worry, I’ll help you set her up. After all, I’ve been her nurse for eighteen years. 
(Dan and Carmela get the food from the cafeteria and went to Audrey’s room. They chat and talk about life and stuff. They laugh cheerfully as they converse before giving Audrey her medicine. Fifteen minutes passed quickly as Carmela pour water in the cups as Dan is sitting in his chair while Audrey sits in her bed.). 
Audrey: Well, I’m glad you guys are starting to get to know each other. It’s gonna be a hassle with the holidays coming around. 
Carmela: Yes, it will be. Also, have you taken your pills yet? 
Audrey: I’m going to take it right now.
Dan: So, you guys have been talking about plans out here? 
Audrey: Yes, dear. All the doctors told me to do is get exercise, eat heathy food and have a peaceful sleep. Although, I like having a full energy in the morning.
Dan: Well, about going outside, mom? 
Audrey: Oh, dear. The doctors take me out for lunch, an outing or just getting fresh air. Even though, the weather has been very humid.
Carmela: Aren’t you doing your exercises, Audrey? 
Audrey: Oh, dear. I haven’t been able to get up because I was feeling the weather. But the doctors are always coming in here and tell me to get up in the morning. I’ll try to. 
Dan: Okay, mom. Let’s get you set up. 
Audrey: Oh, Dan, are you going to stay around here? There might be some good hotels for you to enjoy. 
Dan: Don’t worry, mom. I’ll think of something to do while I’m here. I just want to visit you and see how you’re doing in here. 
Audrey: That’s good, dear. I just wanted to celebrate the holidays. I mean, it’s been super humid, but there’s decorations to put up on every shelf or wall. How long will you be here? 
Dan: Until December. 
Audrey: Goodness, Dan. That’s long. What about the family? 
Dan: Don’t worry. I’ll look around some good places to look and buy good stuff. It’ll be a couple of months before I come home. 
(While Audrey is reading a book, Dan looks up and see that Carmela checking some paperwork on her check board to write her patient’s needs. Dan continues to stare at her for a long time without Carmela acknowledging him. Audrey flips a page as Dan begins to set his mother up to feel better.). 
Dan: Well, Mom, I’m gonna help you set up and then you’ll feel better. All you gotta do is take your meds and rest. 
Audrey: Sounds good, Dan.
(After having a talk with his mother, Dan sets her up and talk to her doctors about the medicine she needs to take. After having conversations about life, Audrey falls asleep in her bed and Dan kisses her forehead and leaves her room. He thanks the doctors for their help and leaves. He goes outside and gets a ride from an Uber and goes to a motel to sleep for tonight. It was empty and sad, but it will have to do. He looks around and realizes that he’s worried about his mother and wants to take care of her. He lays down and drifts off to sleep. Next morning, he wakes up and gets out of bed. As he goes into the hospital to see his mother again, he walks into the parking lot and see Carmela in her car getting her things put away. Dan looks at her and starts to get all tingly inside as if something spark in his organs for the first time. He walks into the hospital and starts thinking about her. The scene cuts to Audrey sitting on the bed as Dan sits by his mother.). 
Audrey: Well, Dan, I am surprised that you got me eggs for breakfast when you know there’s food at the cafeteria.
Dan: I just wanted to get you something warm to eat. I figured that you would want eggs that are either scrambled or sunny sided up.
Audrey: Oh, thank you, dear. You know, I hate mornings when everything is in a rush. The doctors told us to slow down the pace. 
Dan: Are you taking your meds, ma? 
Audrey: I’m trying to take it, but I just keep forgetting it. The doctors have some good friends to greet, and I was trying to take my pills. 
Dan: Would you like some water? 
Audrey: Yes, please, dear. There’s a pitcher on the table in the lobby room. They wake up at dawn to set things up.
Dan: Thanks, ma. 
Audrey: Since you’re here in town, there’s a lot of decorations that the staff are putting up this year. And we’re going to paint this afternoon. 
Dan: That sounds great. Do you join them? 
Audrey: I do sometimes. Once they’re done painting, they hang it in the art gallery. I like it when the doctors come in and give us tools for art. 
Dan: I’ll get you some water, ma.
Audrey: Thank you for the fried eggs, Dan.
(He smiles at his mother and closes the door to get water for her. While he walks to the lobby room, he sees Carmela talking to the receptionist and goes to talk to the doctors. Dan finds the opportunity to talk to Carmela about the morning and walks up to her. He quickly walks to her for a chat.). 
Dan: Morning, Carmela. 
Carmela: Oh, Dan Conner. Morning. 
Dan: Great morning, huh? 
Carmela: Yeah, I just park my car by the light pole in the parking ground after I got stuck in traffic.
Dan: Did you just got here right now? 
Carmela: Yes, it’s a usual start. I usually parked my car and get some water or tea on the way. 
Dan: Well, I was just visiting my mom again. 
Carmela: That’s sweet. Are you seeing your mother today? 
Dan: Yeah. I just want her to know that I’m always here for her and making sure that she takes her medication. 
Carmela: It’s great to get an early rise in the morning. I’m gonna go up there and take care of her and make sure she’s doing well. 
Dan: Can I help you with anything right now? 
Carmela: I was just getting some paperwork and I’m gonna help out with your mom to do some exercise outside. She needs a lot of things.
Dan: Yeah. She needs a lot. Which is why I’m here to be there for her and setting her up is the best thing to do. 
Carmela: Of course. Oh, did you got her some breakfast? 
Dan: Yes. I shared orange juice with her and I got her some fried eggs and toast with cheese. 
Carmela: Sounds good. I’m gonna get some water for your mom and help her out. 
Dan: Hey, um… I was wondering, um… When you’re not busy, can we have a chat some time?
Carmela: Chat? I don’t know. But if you want to talk, then I’ll be here to talk to you. And tomorrow is gonna give me more stress. 
Dan: Forget about tomorrow, just focus on today. 
Carmela: Maybe the day after tomorrow, I can hang out with you because that’s my day off. 
Dan: Your days off are on Tuesdays? 
Carmela: Well, my schedule is so weird because my days off are on Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. It’s so random that I wish they can changed it.
Dan: Well, I’ll wait for you. 
Carmela: Aw, so sweet. Well, you can hang out with your mom and talk about things. There’s a lot of stuff around here so you can get yourself a meal, look around at sunny places and explore.
Dan: That’s what I’m here to do. Taking care of my mother while enjoying some time to myself and keep reflecting. 
Carmela: That seems very intriguing. And you seem like the guy who gets a time of his life. 
Dan: I will get a time of my life once I get everything all taken care of. 
Carmela (Laughs): I can’t believe you’re so silly.
Dan: Silly? I would say I’m hilarious. 
Carmela: I’m gonna get you a granola bar with peanut brittle in it.
Dan: Thanks.
(As Carmela goes to the vending machine, Dan stares at her without hesitation. His eyes are open wide and begins to stare at her body as he stares at her back to her backside. Dan can already tell that she has a nice ass, but tries to keep it together to the point of exploding. Carmela grabs the granola bar and turns around. Dan stops looking and looks up, pretending to mind his business despite looking at Carmela while her back was turned for a second.).
Carmela:I hope you don’t mind about this granola bar. It’s an apple bar with nuts in it.