Tech-Support

==Publishers Summary==
Foamy calls Tech Support.
==Script==
: Foamy
: Yeah, Tech Support? I'm having a problem with my Smell-brand computer and need a bit of help here. This fucker's acting up like a troubled child on crack.
: Mammed Udi
: Hello. What seems to be the trouble?
: Foamy
: Well, it seems in my tinkering I went into the DOS program and it changed a 1 to a 0. Now it won't even start up. What do I do oh Guru-of-Computer-Wisdom?
: Mammed Udi
: Have you tried restarting your computer?
: Foamy
: Yes. And it doesn't restart.
: Mammed Udi
: Is your computer plugged in? That is very much common mistake.
: Foamy
: Wha-What kind of fuckin stupid question is that? Yes. It's plugged in. Don't. Jerk me around. This fuckin operating system is as unstable as Charles Manson and I. NEED. HELP.
: Mammed Udi
: Is your monitor on? Another mistake.
: Foamy
: Dumbass. It doesn't. Start. Up.
: Mammed Udi
: What is your operating system, the system that you are operating?
: Foamy
: It's one of those Whine-dows operating systems, y'know?
: Mammed Udi
: Very good. Do you like the ice cream?
: Foamy
: Wha..what?
: Mammed Udi
: DO YOU LIKE ICE CREAM?!
: Foamy
: What the? HELP ME! STOP ASKING DUMB QUESTIONS AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO!......HELLO?......HELLO!?!
: Mammed Udi
: I will help, yes. Here is what you do: You hold down the following keys: W...F...the number 2..the spacebar..while typing out "Ganesha is great" and tapping on the escape key for 20 minutes.
: Foamy
: ...*flips them off*
: Mammed Udi
: So how's the weather there?
: Foamy
: Oh geez..here we go. Fine.
: Mammed Udi
: It is hot here. Like a cow on fire.
: Foamy
: Oh yeah? Where are you, Florida or California?
: Mammed Udi
: I'm in India.
: Foamy
: India? Wait..do you mean, like, Indiana?
: Mammed Udi
: No, India.
: Foamy
: Wait a second. You're in INDIA?
: Mammed Udi
: I just said that!
: Foamy
: What the fuck?! Why am I talking to someone in India about my computer that was made in Japan and bought in America?
: Mammed Udi
: The Smell computer company has moved their tech support headquarters to India because it be cheaper.
: Foamy
: Nice, great. Well, why the fuck am I paying for first-rate tech support from a 3rd-world country?
: Mammed Udi
: You American bastards are only paying me $20 a week.
: Foamy
: $20 a week? Damn. You're getting ripped off, dude. Tech support here gets that an hour.
: Mammed Udi
: My god, you're all bastards!
: Foamy
: Hey. We're discussing my computer here. Not your slave wages. Pay attention. FOCUS.
: Mammed Udi
: Oh, very sorry. How is your computer today?
: Foamy
: Broken, jackass. Broken. Wait- Can I ask you a question? Why if I just boot the computer up through the installer disk and have it rewrite the file I messed with?
: Mammed Udi
: Yes, I guess you could do that.
: Foamy
: Oh yeah, great. You've been a big fucking help.
: Mammed Udi
: Thank you for using Smell Computer Tech Support. Please tell your friends.
: Foamy
: Damn foreign outsourcing!
: Foamy
: Keep the jobs in the U.S. so I can understand who I'm talking to. You fucking bastards.
==External Links==
*Illwillpress website