SMTB Part 6: In the Words of Apple-chan

OCTOBER 13, 2019
Hi, Papa. It's been a while, I know. I'm sorry I haven't written in a good minute, but life's been pretty nuts, to put it lightly. I've started at a new school, I've made a bunch of new friends, I've gone through one personality change just to go back to my old one. Heck, I've found out about an entire world inside of humanity's thoughts. I guess Tohru's probably told you about those last two, huh? Go easy on him, Papa.
Anyway, why am I writing this now? Well, it's starting to feel like things are calming down enough to where I can collect my thoughts. The Prime Minister's called for a week wide educational summit to assess "the state of our youth's progress" or something like that. So we've got an entire week to do whatever we want. Even better, Tan gets to come home in a week! I know Mama's really happy about this, and I am too.
So what am I writing you about, you probably just wondered to yourself. Well, with the week being completely free, I've decided to spend each day up to Saturday spending one-on-one time with one of my friends, to get to know them all better, and so they can get to know the real Rin. And I wanted to get my writing back up to snuff, and you always loved reading everything I wrote. So I wanted to tell you all about the friends I've made.
I'll be doing this like I'm writing a story, just like you liked, Papa. I can't wait to see what this week brings. Everything just feels so much brighter now, from my wardrobe to everything I'm feeling. I'm back to being me. And I'm loving everything I'm experiencing. 
Well, guess that's as good a stopping point as any. I'll be back with more every day this week. After that, I haven't decided yet. I'll think of something.
Love you to the moon.
Signed, your apple blossom.
---
OCTOBER 14
Chapter 1: The Lovers
In tarot readings, the Lovers Arcana is associated with friendship and relationships. There is much joy to be had in being able to understand and love another person. Being able to connect with others is a wonderous gift, and a sign of one who possesses a pure, cheerful heart.
I couldn't begin this letter any other way than with my roommate and bestie, could I? Her name is Tenko Kitsunezaru, and she's co-captain of the academy's fencing team. It took her all of five minutes of knowing me to start calling me her bestie, and I honestly don't even mind. Because all it takes is five minutes of knowing her to feel like you've known her forever. She's got short brown hair, and always wears something with green in it. So you know when we walk around, we look like we're celebrating Christmas year-round.
So of course, this morning she's up bright and early ready to get the day started. We haven't had much one-on-one girl time since the friend group's gotten bigger, so you can understand her enthusiasm. And oh, does she have enough of that for the both of us. She's one-hundred percent the social butterfly, almost the polar opposite of her boyfriend (more on him later). So when it's just the one person hanging out with her, you can bet that you'll have her full attention.
Well, unless she catches sight of a dog.
Around the middle of the day we're walking through the busier part of the city, when something catches her eye. In one of the alleyways, there was a dog, a little shiba inu, sitting next to a doorway. I could see Tenko's eyes start to glow even before looking her way. It took her just a few seconds and she was right next to it, kneeling down and petting it. "Oooh, look at the wittle boopsie!" she said with her best baby voice. 
A few seconds later, an older gentleman holding a broom came out of the door. "Hey, what's the big idea?! You trying to kidnap my dog?!" "Wha-?! N-no, I was just petting him..." "You've got five seconds to scram before I call the cops!" I grab Tenko and start pulling her away, telling the old man that that won't be necessary. We make our leave. "Maybe don't have a pupper outside if you don't want people booping his nose!" Tenko yelled back, but I just kept her walking.
We went over to one of the public parks and sat on a bench. "Grrr, what a jerk! Doggo looked like he was begging for a hug..." Tenko was pouting at this. "I don't get it. I just want to give them a hug. Why does it keep getting me in trouble?" I ask her why she doesn't get one of her own. "Oh, I already do. But he's back home on my family's farm." 
She hadn't mentioned that she lived on a farm. "Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, my family owns a farm for animals in the northern part of the country. Horses, mainly. And of course, my little Fudo. He just turned one the other day. My mom keeps sending me pictures, and uggggh I wanna boop his little nose so baaaaad."
I noticed her face took on a bit of sadness to it. I asked what the matter was. "I just keep getting so distracted by things. I've tried to keep focus on things ever since Jin almost got...you know, but I see those cute little wagging tongues and my heart just melts. One of our prized horses actually got out of its stable when I was a kid cuz I forgot to lock it. I was too busy, you guessed it, petting our old dog. I absolutely would've brought my Fudo with me, but the school doesn't allow pets in the dorms. I just love having that soft thing to hold onto..."
I remind her that I'm right here if she needs to hug something. She giggles, and puts her arms around my shoulder. "Ohhh, Rin-Rin. You don't have a tail to wag around, but you're still your own kind of cute. And hey, you don't drink out of a toilet, so there's a thing you have going for you!" We had a good laugh, and moved on from the park.
After a few hours of walking around the shopping district, it was starting to get dark. We walked past a bar, and I noticed the sign out front. "American Karaoke Night tonight". Tenko gasps. "Omigosh, Rin-Rin! We should totally do it!" I hesitated at first. "Oh, c'mon! A little flower told me that you used to be quite the little choir girl." I tell her that I was six, and hadn't sang in years. But I thought to myself, what's the harm in taking a few risks? I told her I was down for it, and she beamed. "I love this new you, Rin-Rin! Let's bring the house down! Figuratively speaking, of course!" We went inside.
One other thing to mention about Tenko, she has a reputation around town as being the "Queen of Sake". Unfortunately for her, this particular bar didn't serve alcohol. I could feel her face deflating. "Well, shoot. Can't all be perfect." she said, pouting.
Then our moment came. I'll admit, having to sing in front of people put a pit in my stomach, but being with Tenko soothed my nerves. "Just follow my lead, you'll do great!" The music began. I swallowed. Nothing for it, now.
"'You can daaaance, you can jiiiive, having the time of your liiiife~'"
It was over before I knew it. I had no idea what kind of reaction it'd get, but the room went crazy. Tenko gave me a high-five. "Voice of an angel, bringing joy to the people! That's what you wanted, right? I think tonight at least, it's mission accomplished!"
I could feel myself turning red, and the dumbest grin went across my face. She could be distracted, sure, but she understands people better than anyone else I know. Being around Tenko gives me the confidence to let loose and be myself, and lets me know that no matter what, I'll always have someone there to push me along.
My bond with Tenko definitely deepened after tonight. I feel like we became besties in more than name. Now it really feels official.
I know you'd love her, Papa. Just like I do.
I'll be back tomorrow.
Rin
---
OCTOBER 15
Chapter Two: The Hermit
As the name would suggest, The Hermit Arcana represents solitude, wisdom, and self-introspection. Solitude is usually perceived as being disguised despair, but there is a wisdom in taking time to analyze oneself privately. Self-study can be its own reward.
I went into today not knowing what to expect from Jinichi Mirai.
Jinichi, or Jin as we call him, comes from the same hometown as Tenko. They've been close for years, but their personalities couldn't be more different. Whereas Tenko is sociable and cheerful, Jin tends to keep to himself and outside of group gatherings, usually stays in his room playing video games. His gaming skills are what got him into the academy, but he insists he isn't very good.
Jin is very difficult to read, since he's so quiet. His appearance adds to the gloomy picture: short black hair, a goatee, a black and blue hoody and jeans, and usually a backwards cap. He's a bit stocky, but not big to where you'd call him fat. He just has this aura of intimidation around him.
Now, I know what you must be asking: what would someone like Tenko see in someone like Jin? Opposites attract, sure, but this still feels odd. It's why I was happy about this opportunity. This would be my first time hanging out with Jin away from Tenko. Maybe I could see what she sees. Don't judge a book by its cover, and all that.
It gets to be around 10, when he's supposed to come pick me up. I look outside my dorm, and there he is, sitting on the floor listening to music. I ask him how long he'd been sitting there. "About 20 minutes. Didn't want to rush you or anything." he tells me.
I sigh, but at least it was out of politeness. I grab my things and head out. "Have fun, you two! No funny business, y'hear me? And have her back by 9, or else I'll assume you've kidnapped her!" Tenko shouted out. "Yes, mom." Jin responded.
Jin insisted on getting food first. He says very little on the way there, and even less when we sit down to eat. I try to make small talk, asking him if he's from Tenko's home town or how he likes Naruki. Most of the questions I ask are met with one-word responses. "Yeah", "nope", "uh huh", so on and so forth. 
I can sense this is going nowhere fast.
After eating we headed to the local arcade. The whole time Jin's felt more detached than normal. I'll be honest, I was starting to wonder if I was the problem. I mean, I guess spending time alone with your girlfriend's roommate is a bit out of the norm. Maybe...he's just pretending to like me so Tenko won't be upset?
I don't like thinking this way, but Jin's being very evasive, even more than usual. Before I could think of any other conspiracy theories, we arrived at his favorite machine. Super Street Fighter II: Turbo. Capcom love their adjectives I guess. I don't know.
I get beat. A lot. I start to show my frustration. "Don't sweat it. You're getting better." he tells me. Considering I've yet to take a single round from him, I find that hard to believe.
Before putting in for another game, he pauses for a second. "Hey, Rin...do you think I'm weird?" I'm caught off guard by this. He'd been so quiet, that kind of straightforward question was surprising. "I can see it on your face. I'm sorry. I'm...not very good at talking to people. Especially girls." I tell him that he seems to talk just fine around Tenko. "Yeah, but I've known her for years. She gets me, and I get her. Man, I'm really screwing this up..." He sighed. "I just...I want someone who really likes Tenko to like me, too. She gets along so easily with people, but I can barely string a conversation together. I can't relate to people like she does."
I'm honestly stunned. He wants to talk but doesn't know how, or about what. I ask him what he's interested in besides fighting games, that might help him relate to people. "Well...there is something. But...you're gonna think I'm weird. If you don't already." He really is terrified that I'll think he's weird. I reassure him that I won't, that I'd love to know what he's passionate about. He pauses to think. "Well...if you're really sure, then I'll take you to my favorite place in the city. Maybe it'll make more sense just to show you..."
I puzzled the whole way there what he could be so passionate about yet so afraid to mention.
I wasn't expecting Pokémon Center Naruki.
I'm staring up at the big red sign with the familiar Pikachu face on it. I turn and see Jin turning red. "You think it's weird, don't you?" he muttered. I laughed and told him that he made it sound like something horrible. Pokémon as a series is so insanely popular all around the world, why would he be ashamed to admit he was a fan? "Look at me, Rin. I'm not exactly the kind of guy you'd expect to be into cute things like this." I giggled. I tell him that being interested in something like this was nothing to be ashamed of, no matter how he looked. "Yeah, well...not everyone sees it that way." he mused.
"Anyway, how do you feel about, well...this?" He pointed at the sign. I tell him that I haven't played any of the games, but that I did watch the TV series when I was younger, and I remembered enough about it. "That so? Well...I'd be happy to teach you."
I'm floored by what I see inside the store. All sorts of clothing, figures, games. And so. Many. Plushies. I'd never seen so many stuffed animals in one place. "Intimidating, isn't it?" he asks. I ask him just how many of these things there are now. I'm speechless when he tells me there's around 700 now. And he tells me there's more coming soon!
He takes me over to one section filled with ones that look like foxes. He shows me a small, brown fox. I recognize it as Eevee. "This one...this one's my favorite. I have so many of these and its evolutions back home. I couldn't decide which ones I wanted to bring with me, and I ended up bringing none. I just love how adorable they all are..." 
This was a side to him I hadn't seen. He seemed like a locked box before, but here, he was in his element. "I like to hug 'em when I'm feeling down. Hugging something soft always helps me feel better." He was starting to blush. "Aw, jeez...this is super embarrassing. But I can't help it. I...I love cute shit. And I love Pokémon. I just can't talk about it cuz people might call me a weirdo. 'Oh, look at the big dude hugging the stuffed toy. Furry alert!' I've heard it all before." I giggle. I tell him that he shouldn't be afraid of what people think of him. So long as what he likes isn't offensive or hurting anyone, then there wasn't a problem. I thought seeing him like this was endearing. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, there was one thing I wanted to grab."
He walked over to one plushie that looked like a brown puppy with what looked like rocks around its fluffy collar. "This is Rockruff. It's a rock puppy, if you couldn't tell. I wanted to grab it for Tenko. She loves her puppies, after all. And I know she misses her pup back home, so..." I tell him that's very sweet of him. He blushes again. "Sh-sheesh, it ain't that big of a deal. Any guy would do the same..."
He tells me he wants to look around a bit more and that I could wait by the front door if I wanted. After a few minutes he comes back with a bag that looks like it has more than one thing in it. "I got something...extra. I'll show you when we get back."
As we're walking back I start to feel it in my legs. "Hm, you OK?" Jin asked me. I tell him I'm just a little sore from all the walking. He tells me to hang on and he hangs the bag off his shouldet. Then...he picks me up and starts carrying me. "Yeah, I know. Last time I did this you gave my gut a good whack. But I can't just let you suffer like that." I insist that I'm fine, but that I wouldn't mind. I raised the concern that he was overdoing it between me and whatever he'd bought. "Tch, don't worry about it. Gotta be a gentleman and all that."
That brought something else to mind. He'd mentioned being gentlemanly a couple weeks ago when he stepped in to defend Tenko from someone trying to harass her. I asked him if that kind of chivalry was important to him. "Well, yeah. My old man always told me to treat women with respect. Stuff like this just comes naturally." I tell him his old man sounds like an old-fashioned guy. Jin paused. He got this sad look in his eyes. "Yeah...he was."
I decided not to press further. I knew all too well what that meant. I thanked him for his kindness. "Don't mention it." 
We arrived at my dormroom. Tenko opened the door. "Well, don't you two look chummy." she said jokingly. "Would you prefer we looked like we just commited murder?" Jin asked. "And anyway..." He pulled the Rockruff plush out. "I know it isn't the same as a real one, but..." Tenko gasped. "PUPPER!" she exclaimed. She hugged it and started bopping it on the nose. She hugged Jin and gave him a peck on the cheek excitedly. "Sheesh, c'mon, there might be children watching--" he griped.
After that calmed down, Jin was still blushing. "Uh, one more thing, Rin..." he stuttered. He went back to the bag. He rapidly pulled something out and held it out. "T-take this!" he stammered, still blushing.
He held what looked like a mangosteen with two dots for eyes and a smiling face. "It's Bounsweet. It's, y'know...bouncy and sweet. And it's red, and fruity, so, y-y'know..." I spared him from his imminent fainting. I hugged him tight and thanked him for the gesture. "D-don't mention it. Today was fun, and I never really properly thanked you for saving my skin back then. If you ever wanna give a Pokémon game a go, I'd be willing to give a few pointers." I told him I'd hold him to it. "Well, guess I'll head on home. Have a good night, ladies." He started walking. I called out to him, and I told him he'd done a good job on the "me liking him" front. He was nearly red as a tomato by this point, and kept walking.
We went back inside. "That was a lengthy little hug you just gave him, eh?" I told her sorry, but that I wanted to confirm something. I told her that he himself felt like a teddy bear. She giggled at this. "See what I mean now?" I did.
He gave off the image of being a grizzly that wanted to be left alone, but Jin really was just a teddy bear. A big teddy bear that was sad that he wasn't getting enough hugs. This was a bear that'd hold open the door and pull out your chair instead of trying to hurt you. The lone wolf was really a big softy, after all.
I understand Jin far better now, and I can understand why Tenko feels the way she does about him. Hopefully he can start being more honest with himself after today.
Anyway, signing off for tonight. Time to go test out my new sleeping companion.
Rin
---
OCTOBER 16
Chapter 3: The Empress
Representative of the ultimate maternal figure, the Empress Arcana represents compassion, sexuality, wisdom, and regality. To rear and love the younger generation is a blessed privilege. To care for and love those around them, is the hallmark of the ideal mother.
Smiling in the face of adversity is a mantra I've taken to heart. And I can't think of a better poster child for that mantra than Hiyoko Taiyō. The sun appears twice in her name, and her disposition matches her namesake. Always with her hair in braided pigtails, and always in bright yellow clothing, you wouldn't guess that her life up to this point hasn't exactly been ideal.
Her body's been ravaged by sickness, not helped by being raised by a fanatical mother who left her to fend for herself when she was young. If it weren't for another friend who helped her (you'll be hearing about him later), she would've been dead a long time ago. Even now, doctor's visits are a normality for her.
And yet...she keeps her head up. Even being as ill as she is, she talks about wanting to help children. Becoming a teacher, opening a foster home, anything to help out the youth that remind her of herself. 
This is the sort of person whose brain I've looked forward to picking.
I went over to her room, just a few doors down from ours. When she opened the door, she looked a little groggy. I ask her if she's alright. "Oh, don't worry about me, hun. Just been taking some new meds. They've been kicking my you-know-what, but I should be good for the rest of the day." I'm skeptical, but I'm not a doctor, so I trust that she knows what she's talking about. 
We head over to the shop. I feel I should let you know, Mama's going to let Tan run the shop, and she's going to buy the shop next door to sell flowers. I know it's something she's wanted to do for a long time, and I know it can be the perfect motivation to keep Tan on a good path going forward.
In the meantime though, me and Hiyoko went to pick up a big order. Hiyoko's taking me to an orphanage on the north side of town, and we're bringing them a truckload of fruit (Mama's driving us, don't worry). Mama's ecstatic about such a big order, and helping out little kids probably doesn't hurt, either. "I don't think I've ever seen this kind of kindness out of someone so young! This is a lovely thing you're doing, sweetie." Mama said. "That means a lot, Miss Hana. Thanks so much for helping us with this." Hiyoko answered. "It's no trouble at all. Your future kids are going to be so lucky, sweetheart. Now, let's get a move on!" Mama went outside, but Hiyoko didn't move. I asked what was wrong. 
"Future kids, huh..." I heard her say. "Hey, Rin. You're really lucky, you know that? Having such a kind mother, and all..." She stayed silent for a second, then shook her head. "Well, don't want to keep her or those kids waiting by dillydallying. Let's go." We got in the truck and made our way there.
We get to the orphanage, and we're met with a sea of younger kids thrilled to see Hiyoko. She's clearly been here before, and the kids all crowd around her. "Alright, alright, settle down, kiddies. I brought a new friend with me. This is Ringo." I say hi to the kids, and tell them that they can call me Rin. One of the kids asks me if I'm called Ringo because I like red. Mama comes in and tells them that apple blossoms are her favorite flower, so she decided if she ever had a daughter, she'd name her Ringo. I've heard this story a thousand times, but the kids all went "awwwww" at it.
Another kid asked me where the scars on my arms came from. I try to think of something far less morbid than the truth, when Hiyoko intervenes. "Well, to tell you the truth, Rin here is actually a superhero! She got those scars trying to fight a bad guy!" The kids seemed to love this, and started asking me all sorts of questions. One asks why she'd never heard of me, and I tell them that I work away from people, fighting the bad guys before they tried doing evil acts. I tell them that it's always best to do good things because they're good, not for fame or attention. I tell them one last bit that the scars are a reminder to always do the right thing.
Hiyoko tells the kids that it was time to go pick out their fruit, and motioned for them to go out to the truck. I mouthed the words "thank you" to her for giving me the story to work off of. "Any time, Sentai Appleranger." she joked.
Hiyoko sits the kids down to eat. She hasn't lost her smile since she walked in. I comment on this to Mama. "Well, from what you told me she can relate a lot to these kids. Not strange at all that she'd want to make them happy any way that she can. Be the sort of mother figure she didn't have."
We stay with the kids for a couple more hours. Hiyoko's beaming the entire time. Several of the kids ask for my autograph, they can't believe that they're meeting a real superhero. They're all sad when we're about to leave, but Hiyoko comforts them. "Don't worry, kiddies. Auntie Hiyoko's gonna be back real soon. But part of me hopes I don't see you here, next time. Because that means you're part of a nice family by then! That'd be a wonderful thing, yeah?" The kids all give Hiyoko a group hug. I tell the kids to behave themselves, otherwise Sentai Appleranger (yes I'm sticking with that) is going to come for them. The kids say they will, and we bid them one last goodbye.
On the way back home, we pass by the Naruki Docks. "Oh, Miss Hana? Could you drop us off here, if you don't mind?" Hiyoko asked. "Oh, are you sure? Well, alright then." Mama dropped us off. She tells me to give her a call when we're done, and she drives off.
Hiyoko and I head for the fishing docks. I recognize it as the place she says she was saved by JoJo. "You know...my life was so close to ending here. I'd about given up when JoJo rescued me. I never really knew what kindness looked like before then." She turned to the sea. "I didn't say anything when your mom talked about me having kids someday. I would honestly love nothing more than to raise up some young ones of my own. But..."
"...my body's just so messed up. There's so much trauma in there that I couldn't risk carrying and delivering a kid of my own. The one thing I want more than anything, and my own body won't let me. I want to right my mother's wrongs so badly...be the kind of mother she never was..."
"I'd take all of those kids home with me if I could. I know more than anyone how hard it is, not having that support system. I would just love to have a stable home, raising all those kids with the person I love..." She doesn't give a name, but I have a fairly good idea who she's talking about. 
"Rin...I wanted to thank you for bringing me along on this. I know my sickness makes it harder to keep up, but...I can't stand seeing selfish people acting like there's no consequences for their actions. Because it's the younger generation, the people left behind that pay the consequences. I'm sick of hypocrisy. I don't want there to be another Hiyoko."
I shake my head, and tell her that she's wrong on her last point. That the world needs more Hiyokos, that care so much and sacrifice even when their own body is turning on them. I say that her kindness is one of my main sources of inspiration. That smiling in the face of despair is my mantra. "Hahahaha...thank you, Rin. It's nice to hear that from someone. People like us need each other. Positive spirits keeping the happy thoughts going." She giggles. "I'd wager you'd make a good mom yourself, Rin." I'm startled a bit by the suggestion, but I thank her for it.
To truly love a child takes a special kind of heart. To want to save them from the hardships of your past takes an even more loving heart. To face obstacles both outside and from within, to have every reason to despair, yet choose to face them with a smile. Hiyoko embodies everything I want to be as a person. Any child would be lucky to be able to call her "mom".
I hope she gets that chance someday.
Rin
---
OCTOBER 17
Chapter 4: Strength
The Strength Arcana, also known as Fortitude, signifies courage, self-control and unshakeable willpower. It is as much about strength of heart as it is strength of body. Those who possess great virtue and a calm temperament hold the power to endure life's greatest challenges.
I didn't know what to expect from Shijūgo Oda.
Jugo, as he insists we call him, is in the class above ours, and serves as a member of the Disciplinary Committee. He has something of a scrappy appearance, having dirty blonde hair with a bit of peach fuzz, a sign of his American roots. He tends to wear camouflage clothing, though his wardrobe is fairly simple otherwise.
He's only just recently joined our group, so I'm glad I get the chance to get to know him better. He has the kind of polite, orderly demeanor you'd expect from someone with a military family. And yet, he won't hesitate to disobey an order he finds unjust. This kind of virtue's harder to come by these days, so I'm happy that someone like this is my friend. I'm ready to head out...
...but unfortunately, Mother Nature had other ideas.
Rain had been coming down since the morning, and it was forecast to stay that way for most of the day. On top of that, Tenko and Rose (my other roommate--there's a lot to cover with her) went to Mama's shop earlier, and with the rain would probably be stuck there for a good while. I was preparing for a good round of solitaire, when I heard a knock on the door.
I opened it, and there was Jugo, dripping wet and holding an umbrella. "Hey there, Boss. Mind if I come in? I really would prefer not heading back out there." I'm a bit surprised to see him, but I let him in. I ask him why he went out in the rain like that. "Well, I made a commitment, Boss. Wouldn't be prudent not to honor it, rain or shine." I tell him that his chivalrous streak reminded me of Jin, but that with the weather there really wasn't much we could do. "Well, how about we just chat for a while? Least until the rain calms down."
I ask him if he'd ever been to America. "A couple of times, yeah. Mostly to visit my mom's family. Outside of that I stayed in Japan. Never visited the big cities there, though. Never really liked them. Even here it's a bit intimidating." I tell him that I understand completely, that as long as I've lived in the city, I'd love to live a quieter lifestyle. "Yeah. Totally. My dad was the top officer of a small town. The country life just comes more natural for me."
I tell him how his dad being a cop and his mom being a soldier explained his orderly personality. "Well, of course. Respect comes when it's given, that's what they always taught. No reason to be rude to someone that's given you no reason to be." Manners maketh man, as they say. I seem to attract gentlemen.
"So, boss...there's something I've been wondering about for a while. Your brother's being released from jail, right? If you don't mind me asking, what was he in there for?" I'm a bit surprised at the question. "Sorry. I don't mean to pry. I just find it a little hard to believe. Given your sunnier demeanor, to learn that you'd have one brother performing unsavory actions was surprising enough. That it was two was even more surprising." I pause to think. It wasn't something I'd given much thought. Tohru and Tan both had their troubles, sure, but I'd never really associated Tan with "unsavory actions". He'd just made some bad mistakes.
"I'm sorry. You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I tell him that it's fine, that it wasn't something I was ashamed of. It was from a time when the shop was struggling a bit, and trying to support two teenaged kids and an adult son was putting a major strain on Mama. At this point Tan had already had some trouble with the law, and still hadn't learned his lesson. But he still wanted to help us. So in a show of bad decision-making, he tried to hold up one of the nearby shops. It didn't end well. He got caught almost instantly. It broke Mama's heart, and I think the turning point for Tan came when Mama confronted him, and asked him why he'd nearly done to someone else's parents what had been done to his own. This, I think, finally turned the light on in Tan's mind. The judge heard all of this, and gave him mercy. Only three years in jail, with the caveat that this would be taken as "strike two". Any more bad decisions after release, and there wouldn't be any mercy.
I explained all of this to Jugo. He seems a bit surprised. "I see...so a crime performed for noble reasons..." I could understand his confusion. His parents taught him the utmost respect for law and order, after all. I explained that Tan always had our best interests in mind. He's seven years older than me, so after your passing he took on more of a role of "dad". He thought there wasn't any other option, but understood more than anyone that his way of going about it was wrong. I tell Jugo about how deep down, Tan was a man of virtue himself. "Doing bad things for good reasons, huh...in my line of work, there's really no room for a grey area. There's just following the rules, and breaking them. But if your brother's wrongs were for an ultimate right, then..."
"Well, that's neither here nor there. I'm glad that he seems to have changed his tune, anyway. And agreeing to oversee the shop so your mom can fulfill a dream of hers is noble in and of itself. When he's released, I'd like to have a talk with him. See where his head is at. I wouldn't want you to place your trust in someone who wasn't one-hundred percent commited to living the right kind of lifestyle." I thank him for his concern.
"You know, it's funny...I've devoted my life to following the rules to the letter, but to find myself working in a way some would call unjust...I never would've guessed it would turn out that way. Then again, I never would've pictured myself working alongside someone like Shūjo Higashikata, either..."
That catches my attention. I ask whether Jojo's past would warrant that kind of comment. "Wait, seriously? You've been around him for almost two months and you don't know about his background?" I tell him that I've seen the snake tattoo, and that JoJo explained that it was from a lapse in judgement. Jugo paused. "Hmm...that's how he phrased it, huh...well, not that it matters now. The past is the past, so long as you've learned from it."
After a while of talking, Tenko and Rose arrived home. Jugo started to leave. "Well, don't want to impose on you all, so I'm going to head out. Today was very enlightening, Boss. You've given me a lot to think over. Say hi to your brother for me. Have a good night." I give him my goodbye, and he departs.
I'm genuinely impressed with Jugo's devotion to staying on the right path. Hopefully, talking to Tan'll give him the kind of insights that can help him in the future. I'm sure Tan can learn a thing or two, himself. I've got a feeling this can be a fulfilling partnership if it pans out that way.
But...his words about JoJo keep floating around my head. I'm meeting with him tomorrow, and now I've got questions about how upfront he's been with me.
I don't want any secrets between any of us. I know that letting the truth out is tough, but it's been a great boost for me and getting back to being my old self.
I hope it's nothing too serious.
Rin
---
OCTOBER 18
Chpater 5: The Hanged Man
The Hanged Man Arcana represents being caught between two points in one's life, self-sacrifice, and martyrdom. Life is a cycle containing many paths one can take, and choosing which path to take may involve letting go of a part of oneself. Even in the face of calamity, lies the opportunity to begin anew.
Curiosity is only a few steps from fear. Is knowing or not knowing better, when it comes to critical secrets about someone's life? I want to know everything about my friends, but there's this lingering fear I have that they could be hiding something major from me. I'm done having secrets, and I want them to feel the same way.
This brings me to Shūjo Higashikata.
Our JoJo, Hiyoko's rescuer and ever-present companion. He has an intimidating presence, having mid-length reddish-brown hair and a bit of a deadpan tone. He's always wearing a green jacket, and always has an oar-shaped stick in his mouth. He's got the gruff look down, and he's got the personality to back it up.
But there's this other side to him, the side that rescued Hiyoko from certain doom when they were kids, that sticks by her every second when she's in the hospital. He's admitted to me that he made some mistakes in the past, but that he's sorted out his life now.
For two months, I believed him. And I still do. But Jugo's comments yesterday have me concerned. If he's keeping his past secret, he has to have his reasons. But...I keep looking at my scars. I was so ashamed of them, but now I can accept them as being part of me. If there's something JoJo's hiding, I want to believe that talking about it would help him come to terms with it, whatever it might be. 
I'll be finding out soon enough.
JoJo asked me to meet him at the docks, the same ones where he met Hiyoko. He comes around there a lot, just staring out into the sea. Today, he's standing by a mid-sized boat, with the words "The Star Platinum" scrawled across the side. "She's a looker, huh? My fam's letting me use it for the day." His family owns this boat? Where on Earth would they get the funds for something like this? Just what does his family do?
Then I realize what he's implying. He's taking me out on this boat. Jugo's words start playing in my head again, and the doubts creep in. Someone with a criminal past, taking me out on the water. My stomach starts knotting up.
No. I'm acting judgemental. JoJo wouldn't do anything so horrible. This kind of doubt was something the old me would've indulged in. Not real me. Real me trusts her friends. I get on the boat.
We go out into the sea, not far enough to where the dock vanishes, but a good distance away. "It's a good thinking spot. Just you and the boundless sea. I like coming out here just to decompress." I ask him if he's ever brought anyone else out here. "Well...I've taken Hiyoko out here a few times. The salty air's good for calming her nerves." I tell him that this place must be special to the both of them. He just nods.
I can't contain myself anymore. Something's been on my mind ever since my day with Hiyoko, something I've suspected for a while.
I ask him why he hasn't acted on his feelings for her. "Whoa whoa whoa, hold on a sec! Where's this coming from?!" he says with a bit of nervousness. I tell him that it's clear as day, that their bond is obvious. "...tch. You don't know what you're talking about. Even if you were right, I still wouldn't act on it. A girl like her shouldn't be that close to a guy like me."
That tears it. Jugo's words echo again. So, I ask JoJo what he means by "a guy like him." He doesn't say anything. I tell him that if he's being truthful, that he's remorseful about his criminal past, then there wouldn't be any problems. If he was being completely upfront.
He groans. "Tch. Just can't leave it be, can you? Guess that's the author gift, just reading me like that. Alright. You want upfront? I'll give you upfront.
He removes his jacket and shirt, revealing his snake tattoo. "This right here? This wasn't just a kid's mistake. This right here is a mark, a brand. A reminder of what I'm trying to escape. All the guys in my family have it. And it's why I can never tell Hiyoko how I feel." I see what he's saying. Before he elaborates, I already know.
"I'm yakuza. I'd say 'was', but this tattoo means that "was" won't apply unless I'm dead."
He sighs. "Two years ago, my family left the clan and moved here to Naruki City. Given how the yakuza make a habit out of making enemies, I have to keep everything covered and on the down low." I tell him that I'm confused, that he said they moved here two years ago, but he was eight when he met Hiyoko. "That was on a family 'business trip'. We took Hiyoko back with us, but she was getting so sick that the clan thought she'd be a liability. So we fled. I don't know if we're being followed, by the clan or someone they pissed off. All I know is that I'm gonna be spending the rest of my days sleeping with one eye open."
"And you know what else? You're absolutely right. I do love Hiyoko, more than anything. And that's why I can't act on it. Because if someone is following me, and they went after her because she's close to me, I'd never forgive myself. She has enough to worry about. She wants to live a quiet life surrounded by kids. A monster like me can't give her that life. Not when I'm gonna be spending it looking over my shoulder."
"I've done shit you wouldn't even believe. A girl like her doesn't need to heap my baggage on top of hers. If I have to keep everything bottled up to make sure she's happy, then fine. So be it. She's suffered enough. I won't add to it."
This is breaking my heart. I can't let him just think this way. I tell him that Hiyoko clearly feels the same way he does. That if she's lived alongside him this long, she knows the risks. She wants to live that happy, kid-heavy life with him. He didn't want her to suffer, but I could see that his not being honest with her was hurting her. I knew that was the last thing he wanted.
He was silent for a minute. "I...can't. I can't put her in danger. But I can't let her be sad because of me, either. I don't know what to do..." I tell him to think it over, on his own. Spend some extra time out on the water, if he had to. "OK. I'll think it through. Hope you don't think I'm a creep for this." I tell him that I admired that he cared so much for Hiyoko he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. That just because he did awful things beford, didn't make him an awful person. I tell him that he and Tan should have a few words. I want him and Hiyoko to both be happy. I don't want them to suffer over something like this.
He chuckles. He gives me his thanks, and says he'll think about our talk. We head back to shore.
I'm glad JoJo told me the truth. I hope he can bring himself to tell Hiyoko how he feels. It would do her good to know that he cares so deeply that he'd hold back to ensure her safety. It must weigh on his mind, letting a dark past influence any chance at a bright future.
The outlaw with a heart of gold. I'm happy that he's on my side. Hopefully he can find some peace, and not have to fear for his or Hiyoko's safety.
The things we do for love.
Rin
---
OCTOBER 19
Chapter 6: The High Priestess
The High Priestess, also known simoly as the Priestess or Papess, represents deep knowledge, wisdom, and patience. A quiet demeanor can often beget a profound knowledge about the world, and the pursuit of knowledge requires an immense amount of patience. All are necessary for keeping one's life in working order.
Where do I even begin with Rosemary?
Rosemary (or Rose) is one of the more mysterious people I've ever met. Her pale skin, platinum blonde hair and vast assortment of velvet clothing makes her almost seem like a sort of living doll. She says she comes from a place called 'The Velvet Room', and knows all about this cognitive world, about Shadows and Personas. She also works for this strange guy by the name of Farquhar, who she calls the Velvet Room's "interim head". I have about a million questions about all that alone.
As for what she's like...well, it's complicated. When we first met, she was how you'd imagine a robot to be like, very unemotional and matter-of-fact. She told me she was like an empty shell, and wanted to learn from me what emotions were. And boy, is she a fast learner. She's still fairly quiet and straightforward, but she's talking more like how you'd expect a teenager to talk. She's very eager to know how people behave, why we feel the way we do. All this makes me wonder...is she even human? If she isn't, then what is she?
Past that, there's a sweetness and eagerness to help that I can't get enough of. She's volunteered to help Mama with the shop, just so we won't feel so overly stressed until Tan gets home. She's Mama's little helper, and in a way I guess she's mine, too.
She told me she had to speak with Farquhar about how things were going, and said she'd meet me at the shop.
I went over, and waited for a little while. Rose showed after about an hour. "Apologies. Master Farquhar was rather insistent on learning as much as possible." I tell her it's fine. "So, tomorrow is the big day, right? I'm sure it couldn't get here fast enough. Having your family together after all this time must be exciting." I tell her that it is, and without thinking, I ask her if she misses her family.
She's silent. "I...don't have one. I was created and raised by Master Farquhar, but biologically speaking I don't have any relatives. I'm my Master's sole creation." I apologize for what I said, but I ask her about what she means by "created". I ask her what exactly's the deal with the Velvet Room.
"The Velvet Room is where we can observe the collective heart of humanity. Beings curious about humanity created it, and it's from there that we research both the real world, and the cognitive one. However..." She trailed off. "My Master is not the true owner of the Velver Room. The real owner is attending to matters elsewhere. This owner was curious about mankind, and thus he created assistants to help him, that were just as curious about people as he was."
"Master Farquhar wanted to emulate this. And so, through methods both arcane and scientific...I was born. I was given the gift of curiosity, yet I had no capacity for emotion, at least not at first. I was made to emulate the true attendants, with my skin complexion and general appearance. But, I'm but a pale imitation. My Master wanted me to be perfect, even bestowing upon me a Persona of my own. I just...don't feel worthy of what I've been given. What happens when the true owner returns, and Master must vacate the room? What purpose would I have? What...what would I even be...?"
"Simple. You are my perfect creation, and you can do whatever you please." We were both surprised. Up walks a sunglass-wearing man wearing a velvet-colored tropical shirt. "Master, what are you doing here?" "I was a bit curious about your report, so I came to see for myself. And I wanted you to know, you have nothing to fear. Do you know why I created you, Rosemary? Or rather, why I created you without any innate emotion?"
"I wanted an assistant who appreciated life as I do, to be sure. And in my opinion, that requires learning to appreciate even the most basic of concepts, such as emotion. So having to learn that firsthand, asking deep questions about the very nature of the heart, is a part of my plans. And from your report, one thing is very clear. You have a very deep love for this world, and the people in it. And so, if you don't know what awaits you, that is completely up to you. You have the gift of life, and I want you to use it how you see fit." "Master...I don't know what to say. Other than I'm glad you created me."
Mama walked outside. "Oh, hello there. Who's this you're talking to, girls?" "A pleasure, madame. My name is Farquhar. I'm Rosemary's father. I was in town on business and I wanted to check in on her. And to meet with the Rin I've heard so much about. Though she neglected to mention what a...lovely mother she had." Mama looked flustered. "Oh, don't try to flatter me. Not that I'll complain about it." "I figured as much. Given who your daughter is and the fact that I can feel her staring right through me." I told Casanova not to even try it. I think you'd appreciate that.
Mama went back inside. "Well, I believe it's time I take my leave. I will be in touch, Ringo. I'm curious as to where this tale will take you. And Rosemary...think about what it is you want. Take care, for now." He began to leave. "M-Master!" Rose ran to him and hugged him. "I won't disappoint you..." "Ahahaha. I wouldn't expect you to. You are my daughter, after all." He walked away.
Rose thought for a moment. "I...I've decided. Rin...ever since I met you, I've been swelling with emotions and feelings I've never experienced before. I've come to understand what it means to be happy, what it means to love..." She started turning red. She grabbed my hands. "Rin...please let me be your assistant! I want to stay alongside you forever. I've come to love this world, these people, our friends, because of you. I love this world...because you're in it." I'm rendered speechless by this. I ask Rose why me in particular.
She grabs one of my arms. "This, to me...this is what I find beautiful. That you would openly show this, despite the despair it represents. This is the beauty of the human spirit. To stare despair and death in the eye, and choosing to see the light and hope in the world instead. To choose to live. When I first met you, I could see nothing but despair and anger reflected in your eyes. But to see you open yourself up, to choose to smile in the presence of overwhelming darkness, is why I've come to admire you so. If I could replicate even a fraction of your beauty, I would be pleased. So please, let me stay with you."
I'm touched. Shocked. Speechless. Two months ago, this girl appeared in my life, devoid of emotion and wanting to learn. Now, she's a fountain of emotion, and asking if she can stay with me forever. I tell her that I'm flattered that she thinks so highly of me, but that I couldn't let her be my assistant, because I wanted us to be equal. Because she's come a long way, too, and possessed her own beauty. So I told her that I couldn't honor the assistant request, but that if she was asking if we could be friends forever, then she didn't even need to ask. Her face lit up. "Friends, and equals...yes, yes of course! If that's your desire, then I'll pour my heart and soul into it. I'll be the best friend I cam can possibly be for you. Thank you, Rin. I won't disappoint you."
She's beaming at this. When we first met, I didn't even think she knew what a smile was. But this was the kind of pure, innocent joy that I've come to love seeing from Rose. She wants to feel like a normal girl, and if I can help her with that, then that would be fantastic. 
Rose is many things. Smart, wise, loyal, sweet, helpful. And inside and out, so beautiful. I'm lucky to call her my friend.
Hopefully, I get to for a long time.
---
So my "Getting to know you" week comes to a close, almost. I loved being able to spend this kind of time with my friends, to get to see the layers they have. And I love them all that much more now.
These past couple of months have been a whirlwind, and I wouldn't take any of it back. I know you'd be happy with where I'm at now, Papa. Even with everything that's happened, I can stay the course and stay positive. I'm still me. I'm still the happiest girl on the planet.
I'm still your little apple blossom.
I miss you so much, Papa. I hope you're proud of me, wherever you are. I don't know what I'm going to do with this letter now, but I'll think of something. I'm going tonight with all of my friends to the movies, and then tomorrow, we finally bring Tan home. Our family can be together again. Just now, with six crazy, wonderful additions.
Love you, now, forever and always.
Rin