Alien vs. Metalbeard

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Amset-Ra: Nothing to see here, move along at your own risk!
Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! Due to the Pluuvian government filing a complaint against us on account of our Decibel-brand speakers' deafening sound, we have taken them down. However, we have replaced them with Anti-Frenzy guns!
Elsewhere in the pyramid...
Pewpewpewpewpew!
Frenzy:"' Whoa! You could have hit me with that! Yikes! These things are everywhere!
Back in the stadium...
Wyldstyle: Not to mention I set up a security laser beam system to protect my hair, and Morro is standing by with a freeze ray missile launcher. Anyway, let's meet our contestants, who just so happen to be from our early days!
Amset-Ra: What is this, a game show?
Wyldstyle: Nah. Those are too bland. Hockey games are more exciting than game shows, and even their fights are frowned upon. Anyway, in the Red Corner, the almost pathetic Alien!
Alien: Hey! I beat Tee-Vee last match.
Wyldstyle: Yup. Almost pathetic. In the Blue Corner, the larger-than-life pirate Metalbeard!
Metalbeard: Aye! After nearly two years, Metalbeard be back fer more action!
Alien: I can take you down!
Metalbeard: Says the wimpy spacelubber who couldn't even beat Toxikita last season.
Alien: But I beat Jek-14, Lord Garmadon, and Tee-Vee!
Metalbeard: Aye, but they be all beaten by sheer luck.
Alien: Just like you beat AntiMatter by sheer luck?
Metalbeard: ...Look, matey, just admit that I be the better fighter!
Alien: Let's see... *comparing ranks* Rank 14... Rank 45... That should tell you a lot right there.
Metalbeard: ...
Wyldstyle: Make your prediction, Alpha-Team-Villain-Whose-Name-Is-Not-To-Be-Mentioned-In-This-Pyramid.
Ogel: Metalbeard.
Wyldstyle: See ya.
A random trebuchet throws him into a random portal.
Wyldstyle: Much better. Now, as Tee-Vee has sustained critical damage last match (and Alien will pay for that), he is in our sadistic Dr. Inferno's lab.
In Dr. Inferno's lab...
Dr. Inferno: How do you feel, Tee-Vee?
Tee-Vee: Recovery = 94%.
Dr. Inferno: Oh, where's your priest?
Tee-Vee: Location unknown.
Back at the match...
Wyldstyle: So General Magmar will be our referee. Magmar?
General Magmar: That's Mama Luigi Supreme Glorious General to you, civilian. And begin this match posthaste.
The Saber-Tooth Walker falls on him.
Sir Fangar: Do not steal my gloooooorious speech style, inferior servant of a book!
General Magmar: I AM NOT THE SERV- oh yeah...
Alien: Construct!
Wyldstyle: Alien is building an ETX Strike Ship!
Alien: You're going down!
Metalbeard: Shiver me timbers! Ye be an easy target!
Woosh!
Alien: You missed! Activate attack mode!
Wyldstyle: Metalbeard tried to swing his sword at Alien, but missed!
Metalbeard: I've got me a gnarly idea...
Wyldstyle: What's this? Metalbeard is... running forward with his sword low? And now... he's using it as a vaulting pole?
Alien: What...
Metalbeard: Prepare to be boarded, spacelubber!
Alien: No... No... No...
Metalbeard: Permission to land this ship?
Alien: Denied.
Alien pulls out a crystal staff.
Alien Queen: THAT'S MINE.
Havek: What happened?
Alien Queen: First that runt stole my fleet, and now he has my staff. Shoot that insubordinate's craft down at once.
Havek: Yes, Your Majesty.
Havek signals several Aliens, who drag in a stolen Geonosian Cannon. They fire it at Alien's ship. It is a direct hit!
Alien: Whoa! Friendly fire!
Havek: I think not.
Metalbeard: Ye've betrayed yer crew, matey.
Mealbeard jumps just before the ship crashes to avoid the explosion. He lands on the rubble.
General Magmar: (from underneath the rubble of the Saber-Tooth Walker) I declare Metalbeard the champion of the land!
Metalbeard: Aye! This is only me second victory!
Alien: (from underneath the rubble of his own ship) And hopefully your last...
Amset-Ra: Is it it just me, or are these battles getting shorter and shorter? Anyway, here's to a nonexistent ending!
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.
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Category:Season 3
Category:Round 1 Battles