Goofballs/January 1, 2015

==Screenplay==
SCENE ONE
 
FADE IN:
INT. CLASSROOM - MIDDAY
A MALE TEACHER gives a lecture in the middle of a class. We see DA NERD sitting boredly at his desk in the mid-rear center of the room.
MALE TEACHER
[lecture, write later]
Suddenly, BOB, VIOLET, TOPH, WILLIAM, ADAM and SIMON burst into the classroom through the walls, windows and ceiling and drop down by Da Nerd’s desk. 
WILLIAM
City Hall officials!
VIOLET
(to William)
Hey, that’s my line.
Bob grabs Da Nerd and then onto a rope hanging from the ceiling.
BOB
(to Da Nerd)
We gotta go, it’s an emergency.
The rope pulls Bob and Da Nerd up, and the rest jump back out through windows and start running. 
The other students have horrified, shocked, surprised, curious, sleepy, etc. expressions on their face.
EXT. SEPTEM CITY MIDDLE SCHOOL - FRONT - MIDDAY
A helicopter hovering above, now carrying Bob and Da Nerd, as well as a Septem City official pilot, lowers down 5 ropes, on which Violet, Toph, William, Adam and Simon climb on. The ropes carry them up to the helicopter, which they get on.
The helicopter speeds away.
INT. HELICOPTER
DA NERD
So, what’s the emergency?
ADAM
We got a report of someone abusing
the sauce down on Grover’s Street.
DA NERD
Oh, come on, guys, not this again.
WILLIAM
This is a serious problem, Da Nerd.
BOB
William’s right. The sauce has affected
more than 99% of people in the United
States alone. 
DA NERD
Bob, I’m pretty sure that statistic
is a little far-fetched.
VIOLET
Whoa, guys. Shut up. Look.
Violet stretches her finger out towards the open door.
Smoke emits from an area within the forest below.
SIMON
Whoa.
TOPH
Should we go check it out?
VIOLET
Yeah, we probably should.
(to pilot)
Hey, Nick! Land down where all that
smoke is coming from.
PILOT
Got it.
The helicopter swiftly moves downwards.
EXT. FOREST AREA
The helicopter lands in between an area of trees. Smoke is visible through an opening.
BOB
Come on, let’s go.
They walk towards the smoke and find a bonfire with a riot of people surrounding it. They throw in numerous Septem City items and pictures of the City Hall members.
TOPH
(voice lowered)
Whoa, what’s going on here?
One PERSON in the riot notices them.
PERSON 1
Hey, speak of the devil!
The rest of the crowd turns around to face them. They all shout hurtful, spiteful things against City Hall.
VIOLET
Hey, stop that. Who are you, and
what are you doing?
PERSON 2
We’re the Eightanists. We rebel
against harsh leaders like you,
specifically in our own hometown.
We simply wish for a new leader
who actually knows what they’re
doing.
ADAM
(offendedly)
Hey!
BOB
We can assure you that the city
is in good hands.
PERSON 3
You’re only saying that because
it’s in yours.
WILLIAM
Alright guys, just calm down. Can
you tell us why you feel this way?
PERSON 4
For the past 5 years, we’ve had the
sole “leaders” of this city bossing
us around, getting mad at every
mistake, and enforcing rules that
don’t even exist! And then they turn
around and “joke” with us, and then
they have the audacity to blame us
for getting mad at it. We’re
overthrowing you.
DA NERD
I’d like to see you try.
PERSON 3
I’ll beat your ass right now!
The crowd goes into an uproar. 
SIMON
(to other six)
What should we do?
BOB
I don’t know, Simon. This has
never happened before.
ADAM
Yeah, no one’s ever had the guts
to speak against us. We should
totally ban them.
VIOLET, DA NERD, SIMON
Yeah!
WILLIAM
Hold on, Adam. They might actually
have a point. I mean, have we been
too strict?
TOPH
I don’t think so. Yeah, we have fun
a lot, but what do you expect? This
job’s stressful.
DA NERD
I agree with Toph. We should try to
consider where they’re coming from
and meet an understanding.
VIOLET
Screw that! I’m banning ‘em.
BOB
Violet, wait--
VIOLET
(to crowd)
Alright, guys, listen up! 
The crowd simmers.
VIOLET
This is treason! This is mutiny.
This is a complete lack of respect
for the leaders of the city. And
because of that, we’ve all decided
to--
WILLIAM
Wait, no. Stop. Guys, we understand
where you’re coming from. Maybe we
have been off our A-game for a while.
But come on, at least be fair. We’re
not Hitler.
PERSON 5
He has a point, you know.
The crowd murmurs in slight agreement.
WILLIAM
So, just give us a chance. We’ll make
things right. And don’t worry, we’re
not banning you.
VIOLET
(muttering)
Some say otherwise.
BOB
So just calm down, and we’ll try to
do better. Alright?
The crowd mutters in response.
BOB
(to other six)
Alright, come on guys, let’s go.
The six follow Bob back into the helicopter. 
INT. HELICOPTER
The helicopter slowly rises back up and starts flying overhead the forest.
DA NERD
What was their problem? We’ve done
a perfect job as leaders. 
TOPH
I don’t know. Maybe they did have
a point.
WILLIAM
I don’t know. It’s over now. So,
are we still gonna catch that sauce
guy?
BOB
Nah, we don’t have time. Law
enforcement has probably already
taken care of it.
EXT. STREETS OF SEPTEM CITY
SFX: police sirens, helicopter blades spinning
POLICE OFFICERS chase a SAUCE-ABUSER down a sidewalk.
OFFICER 1
(orderingly)
Put the substance down, sir!
SAUCE-ABUSER
(slurring)
No!
OFFICER 2
(calmer)
This’ll be a lot easier if you
just cooperate.
SAUCE-ABUSER
Make me!
The sauce-abuser turns a corner. The officers follow.
INT. HELICOPTER
DA NERD
So, am I gonna get to go back
to school, or...?
BOB
Nope, we’ve still got work to do.
WILLIAM
What? No we don’t. This is the time
of day we usually screw around and
play video games.
LONG LIVE THE SEVEN
BOB
Exactly.
VIOLET
I wanna stop and get lunch though.
Where should we eat?
SIMON
There’s that new place that opened
up, IRmjii’s Ice Cream Parlor.
DA NERD
We’re not eating ice cream for lunch.
SIMON
Aw.
WILLIAM
How about the Calzone Palace?
VIOLET
Sounds interesting. What is it?
WILLIAM
It’s a palace... where you eat calzones... 
and not much else.
ADAM
Intriguing. Now I’m hungry.
TOPH
Yeah, let’s eat there.
DA NERD
Sure.
BOB
Yeah, I’d be up for that.
VIOLET
Alright, let’s go!
WILLIAM
Cool.
DA NERD
Woo!
EXT. CALZONE PALACE - PARKING LOT
Cars are parked in the small parking lot of Calzone Palace. Suddenly, the helicopter lands and crushes nearly every car, setting off multiple car alarms.
The seven get out of the helicopter, with its blades still whirring. 
VIOLET
Alright, quick, let’s get in, it’s
freezing out here.
Not noticing the cacophony of alarms and destruction, the six follow Violet inside.
INT. CALZONE PALACE - FRONT ENTRANCE
A bell rings as the seven enter the front door. Inside is a fine-dining theme, as people exquisitely consume calzones and other cheese/pizza-related food.
A SERVER greets the seven as they walk in.
SERVER
Welcome to the Calzone Palace.
Seven?
DA NERD
(whispers)
Seven.
VIOLET
Yes, seven.
SERVER
Alright, will we need any kids
menus?
BOB
Uh, no, that’s alright.
DA NERD, SIMON, TOPH
(disappointedly)
Whaaat?
SERVER
Alright, come with me, please.
The seven follow the server to a large booth, and Adam, Simon, Toph, Da Nerd, Violet, Bob and William take their seat.
The server hands a menu to each person.
SERVER
Can I get you started on any drinks
right away?
BOB
Um, yeah, I’ll have a, uh--
DA NERD
Wait, no! I’m not ready yet!
ADAM
Well, everyone else is.
SIMON
I’m not!
SERVER
Well, I’ll check back with you
in a few minutes then.
The server leaves. A brief pause follows.
VIOLET
So, this place is nice.
WILLIAM
Yeah, we should come here more
often.
TOPH
True. It’s a pretty nice place.
DA NERD
Yeah, but... they only have
SodaCola products. 
BOB
(sigh)
It’s fine, Da Nerd. It’s the
same thing.
DA NERD
No it’s not. I’m getting a lemonade.
VIOLET
No, you never finish them!
DA NERD
I’d never finish a SodaCola either,
since it’s horrible.
WILLIAM
Oh, come on, just try it.
TOPH
Yeah, you’ll like it.
DA NERD
How do you know?
SIMON
I’m with Da Nerd. SodaCola sucks.
VIOLET
(sigh, with bitchiness)
Fine, get a lemonade then.
DA NERD
Alright, I will.
An awkward silence follows, and is broken by the server coming back. 
SERVER
Are we ready for drinks yet?
TOPH
Um, just a few more m--
DA NERD
Nope! Nope, we’re ready! We’re ready.
SERVER
Alright, then.
(to William)
What would you like, sir?
WILLIAM
Uh, I don’t know. Got any whiskey?
SERVER
Oh, no, sir. We’re a completely
sauce-free establishment.
WILLIAM
Alright, then. Guess I’ll have an
iced tea.
SERVER
(writing)
Alright.
(to Bob)
And for you?
BOB
A cherry SodaCola, please.
SERVER
We just ran out of the cherry.
BOB
Oh. Well, I mean, I really only
like the cherry kind. Um... 
you sure?
SERVER
Positive, sir.
BOB
(sigh)
Alright, give me another minute
to decide.
SERVER
Alright then.
(to Violet)
And for you, ma’am?
VIOLET
(flattered, to six)
Did he just call me ma’am?
(to server)
Oh, um, I’ll have a medium SodaCola.
SERVER
I’m terribly sorry, we only have
small or large.
VIOLET
Oh. (beat) Um... I’ll have a
large then.
SERVER
(writing)
Alright
(to Da Nerd)
And for you?
DA NERD
(establishingly)
One strawberry lemonade, please.
SERVER
We only have the regular.
DA NERD
Oh, come on!
(groans)
I guess I’ll have that then.
SERVER
(writing)
Alright.
(to Toph)
And for you?
TOPH
			Um, one sweet tea with lemon,
please?
SERVER
We just ran out of sweetener,
sorry.
TOPH
Oh, um, I guess that’s alright,
then. Just an ice tea with lemon
will be fine.
SERVER
(writing)
Alright.
(to Simon)
And for you, young gentleman?
SIMON
Excuse you, I’m 13 now.
SERVER
Oh, terribly sorry. What would
you like?
SIMON
Just an ice water, please.
SERVER
We’re out of ice.
BOB
Come on!
TOPH
Seriously?
VIOLET
What the hell... 
SERVER
So, I assume you’d just want
a glass of water then?
SIMON
Sure.
SERVER
(writing)
Alright.
(to Adam)
For you, sir?
ADAM
Yes, I’ll have the, um, chocolate-
vanilla mudslide with whipped cream
and can you put a cherry on top of
that?
SERVER
(writing)
Certainly, sir.
They’ll be out in a sec.
The server leaves.
CUT TO LATER:
INT. CALZONE PALACE - BOOTH
The seven have their drinks and are looking through the menus.
However, the menus contain a very miniscule amount of items spanned across 16 pages.
DA NERD
What? They barely have anything.
VIOLET
William, I thought you said this
place had calzones.
ADAM
(slurping huge mudslide)
Yeah, it’s in the name, for God’s
sakes.
WILLIAM
Yeah, okay, maybe this place wasn’t
the best idea. I mean, seriously,
“bun with salt”? Yeah, that sounds
appetizing.
DA NERD
(drooling, licking lips)
It does.
TOPH
It’s not all that bad. They’ve got
lamb chops.
SIMON
Read the description. It’s been [???],
and it’s not even real lamb!
BOB
Okay, sorry, William, but this place
sucks. We’re out of here.
VIOLET
Wait, no, let’s just give it a chance.
Come on, it’s exactly like we just told
those Eightanists. You never know if you
don’t try.
DA NERD
(beat)
That’s not what we said at all.
CUT TO LATER:
INT. CALZONE PALACE - BOOTH
Almost all of the drinks at the table are empty. Everyone looks restless and bored, as they wait for a server to bring them food.
BOB
God, I don’t think it’s supposed to
take an hour and 45 minutes to get
food, even of this quality.
VIOLET
Yeah, I mean, look, that table over
there got here 30 minutes ago and now
they’re already done.
DA NERD
Maybe because we have 7 people and they
only had 2.
WILLIAM
(sigh)
I guess, we’ll just wait it out another
half hour or so. If we don’t have our
food by then, I’m getting the manager.
The rest sigh and continue looking bored and sipping what drinks they don’t have.
CUT TO EVEN LATER:
INT. CALZONE PALACE - BOOTH
William is gone from the table to go find the manager. By this point, even Adam’s mudslide is completely gone.
ADAM
(sigh, exhausted)
2 and a half hours.
William comes back to the table.
BOB
Did you talk to the manager?
WILLIAM
Nah, I couldn’t find ‘im.
VIOLET
Well, what do we do now? I already
paid for the damn food.
BOB
We’re just gonna have to wait it out.
Simon falls asleep. Toph turns to Da Nerd.
TOPH
Hey. Wanna have a staring contest?
DA NERD
(tired groan)
Fine. Count it.
TOPH
3... 2... 1... Go.
The staring contest starts. However, it doesn’t last long. Da Nerd closes his eyes from exhaustion about 2 seconds later.
TOPH
Yeah-heah-heah! Un-de-feat-ed!!
In the midst of Toph’s rowdy celebration, everyone else nears falling asleep as well.
ADAM
I never got to play Toska... 
VIOLET
Come on, we can wait it out.
We all have our phones, right?
BOB
Nope.
TOPH
Left it on the helicopter.
WILLIAM
Not me.
DA NERD
No phones in school.
SIMON
(snores)
VIOLET
Well... I’ve got mine.
Violet whips out her phone and starts using it.
ADAM
Well. (beat) This sucks.
Category:Notdn
Category:Transcripts
Category:Movies
Category:2015
Category:2015 Transcripts
Category:2015 Movies