Fugitive Television 3 and a Half: Twice the Fun, Twice the Chase/Transcript

Category:Transcripts
[THUD!!]
[Paramount Boss] Holy Schneikees! That Television just heart attack through the wall!
[Blue Mountain] Don't tell me he's escaped again! I didn't even come close to touching the sonofagun!
[Paramount Boss] We have to find him before the worst happens.
[TCF Boss] Oh bother! Television has escaped again! We'd better organize a posse and track him down!
[1993 MGM\UA Home Video logo] What is the Television from Paramount doing here?
[Paramount Television] Trying to hide from that abusive Blue Mountain.
[Paramount Boss] Television, get away from MGM\UA Home Video and come back here!
[Paramount Television] I've gotta scram, MGM\UA Home Video. That Blue Mountain's a royal pain in the behind!
[Paramount Boss] Remind me to flog the MF.
[Announcer] You can be sure......if it's Westinghouse.
[TCF Television] Excuse me, pardon me, coming through. Excuse me, pardon me, coming through.
[Westinghouse] Wipe your feet!
[Walt Disney Classics] Hello, friend.
What are you doing in my Walt Disney Classics ID?
[Paramount Television] Looking for refuge. That damn Blue Mountain went back on his word and abused me again! I can't take his abuse any more!
[Paramount Boss] Where is that good-for-nothing Fugitive Television? I've got a good mind to un-cross his "T" and punch out his "I!"
[Paramount Television] Uh-oh! They're looking for me. Pardon me, Walt Disney Classics, but I've gotta vamoose. Don't tell Paramount you've seen me.
[Walt Disney Classics] My lips are sealed.
[Don Bluth Film] Hold it right there! This isn't an Don Bluth film logo from All Dogs Go to Heaven!
[TCF Television] Sorry for intruding, but you've got to protect me from those 20th Century Fox hounds!
[TCF Boss] He's around here somewhere. Stay on his tail, troopers!
[Barney Home Video] Say there, who's the new guy?
[Paramount Television] Hi. Which one's Barney and which one's Home Video?
[Blue Mountain] I've sighted Television, Boss. He's trying to make out with Barney Home Video.
[Paramount Television] Yikes! They've sighted me!
[CPHE Blue 1982 Logo] What are you doing in the Columbia Pictures Home Entertainment logo, TCF Television?
[TCF Television] Hiding from the 20th Century Fox hounds, what else?
[TCF Boss] There he is, men! We've got him cornered!
[TCF Television] I can't stay. Remember me at the next wrap party!
[TCF Boss] All right, Columbia Pictures Home Entertainment logo! Tell me where TCF Television is.
[CPHE Blue 1982 Logo] I know where he is, but I won't tell you. I'm sworn to secrecy.
[TCF Boss] So you won't talk, huh? All right, man! Ready! Aim! FIRE!!
[BOOM!!]
[Paramount Television] Starlight, Starbright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might...
[Paramount Boss] When we catch the Fugitive Television, he'll wish he could escape the hangman's noose!
[Paramount Television] Jeez Louise! The Blue Mountain's abuses give me a terrible fright!
[Questar Home Video Logo] I don't remember that line in the poem.
[Lorimar Line] Lorimar Line. This isn't the "Television" we're used to seeing.
[TCF Television] 20th Century Fox is asking no quarter. They've blown up the Columbia Pictures Home Entertainment logo because it wouldn't talk to them.
[TCF Boss] So there you are, Television! You've got some explaining to do!
[TCF Television] You'll never take me alive, Boss!
[Paramount Television] Oh, SFM, I beg and pray you, please protect me from that abusive Paramount Blue Mountain. Uh-oh! Looks like I've got company.
[TCF Television] What are you doing here? This is my hiding place!
[Paramount Television] Well, I was here first!
[TCF Television] Sez who?
[Paramount Television] Sez me!
[SIREN]
[TCF Television] Uh-oh! The fuzz!
[Paramount Television] Let's split!
[Walt Disney Classics] Uh-oh! Looks like I've got company.
[Paramount Television] Say, Walt Disney Classics, can you put us up for a few days?
[TCF Television] We need a place to hide until the heat's off.
[Blue Mountain] So there you are, Television! I've got a good mind to beat you up!
[Paramount Television] Please don't do that! I've got so many scars on me, I'd be the envy of all the lepers on Molokai!
[Blue Mountain] Bullpoop! I don't see any scars on you!
[Paramount Television] Do I have to bare my behind to prove it?
[TCF Boss] All right, Television! You're facing a whole slew of charges just by running away from work.
[TCF Television] After what you just did to the Stephen J. Cannell Productions logo?
[TCF Boss] That was in self-defense, Television.
[TCF Television] Like hell it was, Boss!
[Walt Disney Classics] Stop this bickering and feuding! I got a call from the hospital and they said the Columbia Pictures Home Entertainment logo is okay. Now, will you two reach a compromise and stop persecuting your Television logos?
[Blue Mountain] Okay, Walt Disney Classics.
[TCF Boss] It's a deal.
[TCF Television] Ah. I just love being on a mountain top.
[Blue Mountain] Oh, my aching bothers!
[TCF Boss] You know, I think this logo looks better this way.
[Paramount Television] Wonderful! I love having my name in lights.