Shenanigans: Episode 009

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==Recap==
===BEGINNING===
Episode begins with Jill serenading a deserted Shenanigans. “Then La Sombra says,hey, look, I gave you an extra share of the loot, I got you the ointment, I got you the cushion, but I don’t think you can blame me when that’s how any reasonable person would have interpreted the warning that the treasury was guarded by a bone golem.” The aged, toned, red-furred minotaur, Harry Hoofdini sitting in the corner gives a hearty chuckle while Alejandro, the handsome professional yoga instructor continues sipping ale with Leokas Stoneheart the vintage loving battle axe dwarf. 
Bar is manned by stranger on this day, Hank, Desmond's less dashing cousin. Harry gets himself some flaming beer and then introduces himself to Alejandro as the milkbringer, steer of utter bullshit. A snap sound from outside prompts Harry, the furred schwarzenegger, to get up and investigate. With nothing at all happening rest of the adventurers decide to amble out into the evening as well. 
In attempt to see if there's anything going down Harry licks some dirt, Alejandro comments it was udderly ridiculous. Parties attention is grabbed by a scream from somewhere further in the town, but Jill uses the opportunity to advertise The Lutes and the Liars. A few people are seen running around and then more screams echo, but Jill rather brings their attention to how there's no rhinos around. Finally Harry decides to go investigate the sound of people dying, but finds nothing at all in the alley while rest of the party finds some more people running towards them. Harry does end up surprising a couple of hobgoblins who then attack the minotaur. Rest of party rounds around the corner and seeing this rush to assist their new buddy. Leokas tries to get some information from the running townspeople and after some screaming finally gets a clear answer that hobgoblins in the hills were molesting some cows. Off in the distance there's towns guards fighting with hobgoblins. Alejandro destroys the skull of one of the hobs then Harry gores the other. They grunt approvingly at each other.
Jill closes in to a small battle scene with 3 hobgoblins and 2 guards, and casts Sleep on all of them. 1 of the guards goes down, but other manages to save him. Harry and Alejandro share some weird bro moment in magical fog the minotaur cast with him, but ends up feeling self conscious about his 1 prosthetic horn. It is noted there's an aurora flashing off to the north. Jill tries to understand what are the hobgoblins running from because he cannot fathom anyone would run from just a few hobgoblins. No obvious threat in sight Harry and Alejandro head back to Shenanigans. The restrained hobs are interrogated and accused of having affairs with cows which enrages them. 
Harry rummages through the bar for some milk while pointedly ignoring Hank and not paying for anything. The milk turns out to be the best Harry has ever had and he begins to question Hank of its origins. Meanwhile, Leokas starts pondering how to extract hobgoblin milk out of the cows they molested for it might be a key ingredient for a masterful beer. Harry demands to know where the milk comes from and then orders Hank to sit on the fridge until more appears in it. 
Back in the fields hobgoblins start breaking out of their bindings and attacking Jill, and Leokas. After a little while of pacing around Harry finally realizes there's more hobgoblins pillaging the town so with Alejandro in tow he goes back out into the fray. Short while later Harry and Alejandro get near the scene of hobgoblin wrestling Jill. Finally the party reunites and Jill informs the other two about the cow molesting which earns them some slaps from Alejandro.
===FIRST BREAK===
Jill leaves the decision what to do with the hobgoblins up to Harry and he demands to know whether they took cows virtue, but they refuse to acknowledge the accusation and then offer to show where they saw some cows. They discuss among themselves what to do with the creatures, Alejandro tries to speak up for the poor creatures by molesting one of them which gets him bitten. Finally they hang the hobgoblins by their feet from a nearby tree and go investigate a blaze off in the distance. 
On their way party notes more fleeing people and some buildings on flames that seem to be a lost cause. Jill attempts to perceive sexy cows, but none are found, instead he sees some corpses and then more corpses as they continue exploring the edge of town. Eventually Harry notices cow tracks and begins following them away from the fires. Unable to find the cows party then instead goes to follow Jill who leads them towards the northern lights. They stumble around and argue whether the lights are magical or not until Alejandro slips on some recently disturbed dirt. 
It appears like they've come upon a large crater of sorts, Harry tastes the grass nearby and it seems acidic. Harry tries digging around at the bottom of it, but finds nothing while Jill notices there's something off on one side of the crater and tries to disbelieve it, but when it doesn't work throws a rock at the spot which then disappears. Harry then digs into it and pulls out a unconscious man. Leokas immediately tries to resuscitate the guy and gets kissed when the elvish sounding guy wakes up. 
The man introduces himself as Fano and offers his hand which is then sniffed by Harry who demands to know what race he is, but only gets sort of roundabout answers. Fano seems fairly confused where he is and what's going on. Jill meanwhile pokes and prods the odd space of dirt where the man was pulled from. Harry tries to understand whether the man is from this place and time and decides he has been misplaced so he takes Fano and tosses him through the portal. They wait for a response from the shepherd, but none comes. Leokas then tries dipping his beard into the portal and then pulling it back out, but nothing of note happens so Harry volunteers stepping into it. 
===SECOND BREAK===
Seeing Harry step through rest of the party find their bravery and find themselves in a flat grey marshy grassland that stretches out into the horizon. They explore around the spot a little bit, but see no Fano and no other creatures nearby. Another notable thing is that the sky is green and purple. Harry accuses Leokas of hatching from an egg and party starts arguing about beards. Leokas steps aside and notices that there's a chanting sound off in the distance, but before anyone starts investigating it dies down cause Harry was busy bragging about his hearing skills. 
With general direction in mind tho they begin heading where they heard the noise, Jill uses arrows as way markers. On the way they notice the grassland is filled with tree stumps. When Leokas challenges Harry to sing the beat they heard the minotaur steps up and begins a performance which the rest join in as well. A while later they hear weeping from some bushes where they see a small diminutive hoofed man which Harry recognizes as a satyr. He appears filthy and unkempt, and babbles often without saying much when questioned. The satyr starts scampering away, but Jill offers to play music which gets his attention again, but asking whether he'd like to play with them makes the little thing start wailing. Party attempts to persuade the satyr in coming with them to Shenanigans or getting him bagpipes, but after a mediocre attempt to attack Alejandro he scrambles away. 
Finding nothing of note in this odd plane party starts fantasizing about going back to the bar and getting some of that holy cow milk when 6 hobgoblins ambush the party. 
===THIRD BREAK===
Alejandro goes down in the ambush round, however rest of the party steps up and kills 3 of them the following round which forces the surviving ones to flee. 
Deciding this demiplane sucks they go back to their own plane and Jill leads Harry to the farm with Bessy, the holy how with the best milk which doppelgangers tried to steal, but it appears that Bessy is missing and there's no one in the farmhouse. 
They go back to Shenanigans and the bar seems to have been restocked, but again there's no clues where the milkman went. They also deliver the hobs to towns guard.
== Minotaur jokes featured in the episode ==
* Cream of the crop.
* Bullshit going down.
* We should hoof it.
* Udderly ridiculous.
* Udderly deserted.
* Taking short ribs off Harry.
* That's a missteak.
* I'm just ribbing you.
* We should moooo-ve.
* We should cream these creatures.
== Experience==
* Party gets 500 XP + 10% if prerequisites are met.
* Jill loots 9 gold.
== Significant NPCs ==
* Hank - Desmonds cousin
* Fano - An odd shepherd who speaks with elven accent. 
* Hobgoblins
* Towns-guard 
== Significant Locations ==
* Bergshire - Shenanigans
* Hobgoblin demiplane
* Dairy Farm: Just outside of Bergshire. Home of Timmy, Jimmy & Bessy
Category:Shenanigans Episodes