Aptitude Test/Carter Arch

NAME: Carter Arch
Gender: Male
Parents Faction: Abnegation
Desired Faction: Erudite
Least Desired Faction: Dauntless
Current Age: 17
Appearance: Blackish brown hair with grayish-cyan eyes. Is about 6'01'" in inches? He is usually seen with a blue jacket  and some jeans. Has a jellyfish shaped necklace he got from his mom on his fourteenth birthday. Has a great body :) He lis a light chocolate color. He weighs about 160. He has a pair of sport blue shoes that he is usually seen wearing.
Personality: He is really kind, but if you get on his bad side, then you're in a pretty bad situation. He likes to help people. His father, Hail, died a while back, and he's still a little sore about it. Is an incredible swimmer, And used to go off looking for people in need, although his mother often has to wander around to find him. :)
History: Biography
Early life: When I was a small child (1-9)I acted like an abnegation, and always served and helped others, just as my parents did.I had an older brother named Ryder who was going to chose Abnegation in 3 years(I was six). When I was seven I starting realizing, that I might be as much of an Abnegation as I thought. I did love helping others rather than myself, but my life force was driven by a thirst for knowledge. When I was 10 My twin sister Kore confided to me she was going to choose Amity, and she told our parents Fabian, and Rose Arch. surprisingly they accepted, and said our mom was from Amity, and our father was from Erudite. They also said my moms original name was Rose Swords. From that day I was relieved, but not quite ready to tell them I want to be Erudite.
At age 11 I'd somehow made them wonder if I was an Erudite more than an abnegation. My mom asked and he said yes he was thinking about being a Erudite. I was scared they would dissaprove, but my father "encouraged it, as if his two 'young-ins" didn't just tell him they were going to leave eventually.From then to age 15 I never stopped helping people. When I was fourteen my father taught me how to identify people in need which took almost a year. When I  was 15, a week after MY birthday My father died. It was a sad time for me, and I never fully regained my happy personality.
At age 16, I started getting serous about helping people, because my father loved it. I actually did not enjoy so much non intellectual time, but it kept my mind straight, which was an important thing to me. My fathers death made Ryder become the male figure at age 24. The following year my choosing ceremony cam upon, I chose...
Weapons: A blue slate sword. Some silvers arrows, with a leather quiver.
==Comments==
OK, so I see some minor issues:
*Will he be named hunter Arch or Adorns? If it is Archs, please either change the page Title, or if you don't know how to, I can do it :)
*He weights 10 lbs?
*Uh-mm, he could be American, Parisian, Australian, African, but do keep in mind that he wouldn't almost look nothing like that, since the people only live in Chicago so although he can be chocolate-skinned, he can't look like all those nationalities. Hope I made my point :/
*Please add his least desired faction. Just write any faction really...
*Have you made his Word Bubble yet?
This looks good to me have you made your word bubble yet so we can do your test?
er:5px outset White;n style=border-top-lef">radius:10ex; border-bottom-left-radius:10ex; -moz-border-radius-topleft:1ex; -moz-border-radius-bottomleft:10ex;">"Music isn't just a hobby, It's a Passion."- Musician[[File:Music.jpg|50 px|link=User talk:~The Musician~  15:02, October 3, 2014 (UTC)
Just to point it out, the Abnegation don't go hunting or fishing, as they would consider it selfish for killing the animals just to get food.
*Like Malik had said, fishing and hunting would be considered as selfish as you are killing animals for the sake of having food.
*Despite Carter wanting to transfer the Erudite faction, while he's in abnegation it's doubtful that his parents would allow him to read books. Reading books would be self-indulgent, putting your own need for knowledge in front of other people. In the Abnegation' s eye, Carter could easily be helping out in the community instead of reading for his own needs.
*Carter will very rarely (and is very discouraged by the faction) be able go and swim, as Abnegation's generally do not partake in activity that's related to self-enjoyment, whether it'd be "take to the waves, swimming or by boat".
* Gotcha covered partner.
*Like Kevin previously stated, it is highly doubtful that Carter's parents would allow him to read books, as it would be self-indulgent, when he could be spending that time helping others. You MUST change that. 
Other than that, it looks good to begin the test.
Please, do change the thing about the books. Although I understand his parents did encourage him even to change faction, while he i still in Abnegation, he would need to help people, encouraging parents or not.
Every one of the three previous comments states that even if Carter wants to transfer to Erudite, it is highly doubtful that he will be able to read books while he is in Abnegation. To the Abnegation's eye, that is self-indulgent for an Abnegation to partake in activities that are related to self enjoyment. In the faction he will be helping others whenever he can instead of fulfilling his own need for enjoyment. This must be changed if you wish for the test to begin.
==Aptitude Test==
Category:Conclusive - Adults
Category:Oceanhalo12