2013 Power Rankings-Playoffs Week 1

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Posted 12/4/13 at 8:04pm. Due to a technical error, the bottom half of the rankings were never posted and thus are lost in oblivion.
Doesn't it just seem like the weeks go by much faster during football season? I can't believe we are already in Week 14, and the Fantasy Football playoffs. It seems like just yesterday I was drafting Michael Turner to compliment Ray Rice, thinking to myself "I must have the best RB tandem in the whole league." Yes it seems like just the other day I was calling out ma ma momma said for their "fluke" championship, asking rhetorically if they would even get to .500 this year. Well, this hasn't exactly been my season as a commish or as a team manager. But for some of you, the chance to hoist the actual trophy is just weeks away. So I pose this question to the league: What should the trophy be called? Serious question, so don't give me answers that revolve around any of your team names or dick size (Nate). 
Speaking of Nate…
1. Hernandez' Bracelets - A team of destiny, perhaps? Or maybe headed for something astronomically heart-breaking. Little bit of a scare right at the end of the regular season with a close defeat by one of the other big bads of the league, "Shotti Bunch." HB will most likely have to face at least one of the two teams that defeated them on the path to the trophy. Anything can happen. HB will no doubt spend the bye week researching his potential opponents and rehearsing a slew of insults/witty come backers. As for his team, he'll have to hope his guys stay healthy, particularly Stafford and Graham. With no backups and really no talent out there, a loss at a QB or TE position would be devastating. By the way, who the fuck is Fozzy Whitaker? I guess we'll see Sunday when he puts up 500 yards on New England.
2. Cooper Clux Clan - Powerhouse CCC put the beatdown on ma ma momma said in the final week of the regular season, avenging his 2011 loss that sent them on a one-and-done spiral at the tail end of the inaugural season. Suffered a minor blow with the loss of Delanie Walker, but was able to beat a good team without any production in the TE spot and now has a week to find a solution to the situation. Bennett will benefit greatly if Cutler is back in time for their first playoff game but hasn't been getting many touches with that Clown fellow at QB. CCC will also benefit from Manning's easy schedule as he powers through some of Brady's '07 records. CCC should take the bye week to reflect on how little press his team has gotten all year and use it to fuel himself to victory. 
3. ma ma momma said - I am not ready to count this team out but did lose two of their last three games to playoff teams and overall production has been down. Luckily, Brees won't have to face Seattle again any time this Fantasy Season, but Carolina isn't a walk in the park either. A win against the weak (but still playoff worthy) Ooohmypussyitswet will earn MMMS a rematch with CCC in the second round, one of the great match ups in the history of this league.
4. The Shotti Bunch - Rounding out the top four is the last team of the 3,000 point club. After being on the wrong end of a statement game two weeks ago, Shotti Bunch punched back with a statement of their own. Along with the ma ma momma said/Cooper Clux Clan rivalry, the Shotti Bunch/Hernandez Bracelet rivalry has been heating up all season and I would love to see that matchup again in the post-season. As for now, they will have to battle OJ, a team that is no walk in the park. Foles has been the diamond in the rough, a find unlike any other that might be the Golden Ticket to the Silver Trophy. Hard to find a weak link at this point but basically if Manning has a bad day, this team is going to have a bad day.
5. Orange Julians - A team that I have put all my money on and they go and do something as embarrassing as losing to Jennifer Lawrence on the last day of the season. And they didn't just lose. They got demolished. Scoring under 160 points for the first time this season, they looked more like a team on the clock for next year's draft than the fifth seed in the playoffs. Nine of their eleven starters failed to meet projections and their bench didn't do too hot either (with the exception of Seattle Defense). Projected to be a real close game this week and my question would be whether or not Andrew Luck is the playoff QB OJ hopes for without Reggie Wayne? Going against Cincy D, they better hope they get some big production out of guys like Jordan Cameron and Danny Woodhead to pick up some slack. They have been the most consistent team, making the top three in each of the first two seasons. I don't know what to expect this week.
6. Ooohmypussyitswet - Every year there is that six seed that really doesn't deserve to make it but they make it because a 5 team playoff doesn't make any sense, 4 is too small, and 7 is like you might as well just let all 10 teams in the playoffs. And I don't mean to insult anybody, it's just that the Fantasy Gods are REALLY not pleased that Arian Foster is still on the roster for this team. So I am writing game over on this matchup