Faraway Facilities: New Employee Orientation

Greetings,
If you are receiving this memo, then it means that you have been accepted as an employee of Faraway Facilities Inc, the largest hazardous materials disposal and management service worldwide! Congratulations! Faraway Facilities offers a prestigious, well-paid, fulfilling career experience for everyone, and we know that you'll NEVER want to leave once you join. As you begin your line of work here, however, it is worth noting that this job is not a simple or easy one. As such, there are some things you will need to know.
Faraway Facilities occupies a range of installations and facilities globally, but you have been selected to work at one of our most important, Mount Merry. Congratulations! As you report for work, you will report to your designated department. Your superiors will give you a more in-depth detailing of your duties and responsibilities for your select position upon your arrival, so no worries.
As it is, however, it has been deemed important for you to know that your time at Faraway Facilities will be more... interesting, than at most other jobs. Certain phenomena and odd occurrences, some of which are potentially hazardous for employee health, are known to happen on occasion, and it is Faraway Facilities utmost imperative to ensure employees well-being. 
For starters, there are no doors at the end of the corridors, nor have there been any. Any doors advertising access to other parts of the Mount Merry facility should be promptly ignored, and their presence reported to a superior. Do NOT enter these doors. We revoke any responsibility for your health and safety if you do.
Paranoia is expected when working in such a high-stakes environment as your work in Faraway. However, feelings of extreme paranoia, and especially the feeling of being watched, SHOULD be reported to a superior. 
If the walls begin... bleeding, do not touch them. Instead, report the presence of blood to a superior immediately. If you do make skin contact with the substance, report immediately to the medical wing and tell the attending medical officer you have a "C-5" situation. If you do not delay, you should be coherent and mobile enough to tell them this.
There is known to be an... entity, which lurks just outside the facility at nighttime, always just out of sight of the facility's floodlights. It is seemingly humanoid, although far too tall and emaciated. It will tell you that it was a Robert Barghnes, that Faraway Facilities performed unspeakable experiments upon it when it was a child and transformed it into its current beastly form. This is simply untrue. We do not know the identity or origins of the creature, but we do know that it will attempt to persuade you to leave the safety of Mount Merry and walk out into the night. Do not. Rather, report this to a security guard as soon as possible.
There is not a Floor 3.5. If you find yourself on it, vacate it as fast as possible. Do not linger. We cannot guarantee your safety if you do.
The facilities lights are a white fluorescent. If they change shades and/or dim significantly, leave the area as fast as possible and inform a superior.
The screams you hear coming from Lab D-19 are not real. Do not enter Lab D-19 in an attempt to investigate. Lab D-19 has not been used in 21 years; the noises from inside are an attempt to lure you. Unless you wish to join them, ignore them.
It speaks of glories and wishes beyond earthly possibility fulfilled. It lies.
On occasion, almost always when the occupant is alone, a long, pale arm will emerge from the ventilation shafts and begin probing the room. In this case, do not panic. Rather, make as little noise as possible, and attempt to slowly and quietly exit the room. Do not run. It is faster than you. If you cannot exit the room for whatever reason, then hunch down in a corner and attempt to get as low to the floor as possible. As for the arm, we do not know what it connects to.
Do not anger the tunnelfolk. Their wrath is something you do not wish to invoke.
The spider-like entity that manifests occasionally in Wing 11 of Floor 4 is perfectly harmless, as long as you present it with any form of gift. Even a pen will do. Be sure to offer it a gift though, otherwise it will tear you apart.
The words in the sky often write lies.
Congratulations! Upon reading this, you are now a fully-fledged member of the Faraway Facilities team. We're so very happy to have you here! 
Per the terms of your contract, the NDA you signed is legally binding, and your contact with the outside world is now under legal supervision. Work begins exactly one week after receiving this memo. You cannot resign as of reading this.
Welcome to the team! 
Oh, and be sure to shake the hand of the doorman when you walk in each day. He doesn't like it if you don't.
Category:Places
Category:Monsters
Category:Weird