2013.10.21 - Just Don't Say Sorry

It is a cool but sunny autumn day. Since it is Sunday, the part is fairly crowded all the day. Daniel is here too, although not to relaxing, someone had the brilliant idea to bring some of the youngest students of the Dojo to the park to practice and meditate. Now, kids from Harlem have problems with meditation courses. And Central Park is full of distractions! Like hot chocolate vendors. Everyone wanted one before sitting in the cold grass to 'clear their minds'. Now Daniel is hauling half a dozen paper vases from the stand to the kids sitting on the grass, minds full of chocolate and not very clear. At least it is the last trip.
It is as Daniel is arriving at the children that there is a flump of sound from wings and a soft touch of cloth covered feet to grass. "Mr. Rand." The voice is soft and gentle, but there is an alertness to it as her eyes flicker to what Daniel is carrying and the kids with curiosity. "I hope I am not interrupting?"
Daniel barely blinks when Shen lands close to him, "Ms. Li-Men, pleased to see you. Forgive me, please, for five minutes, if I don't deliver the chocolate I might have a riot in my hands. Fortunately he is already close, and another of the teachers, a large black fellow with an impressive mustache, gets them from him. "Abe, this is Shen Li-Men. Abraham Brown is one of my..." The man offers Shen a smile and a brief greeting before leaving, called by the kids. Danny is left with a single cup in his hands. "Hmm, we got a spare one," he smiles to Shen and offers her the cup.
Shen bows respectfully toward Abraham Brown, "It is an honor to meet you Mr. Brown." She sounds so sincere, like it truly is. Though when she looks back up and Danny is holding a chocolate cup out to her, she looks curious. Shen reaches for it, and tastes it, before her eyes widen a bit. "Chocolate!" She definitely recognizes it and seems delighted to have it. "Thank you very much." She sounds more her age in that moment, almost giddy for those few seconds. Yep, the girl likes chocolate.
"Indeed," replies Daniel with a chuckle. "I'm afraid it will keep them busy for maybe five minutes, then I will have to think something clever to get them to focus." Most of the children, of course, are looking at Shen and talking in whispers between them. No much meditation in that crowd.
A nod, "If I can assist in some way Mr. Rand, please do not hesistate to ask." Still, Shen takes another taste of the chocolate, a warm and soft smile on her lips. She closes her eyes then as she takes another taste. "Meditation is practiced in many ways, which manner are you working with?" And Daniel can likely sense that Shen is practicing a little meditation right now on just the taste and flavor of the chocolate...using one of her five senses to absorb the chocolate flavor into her being and experience it on a deeper level.
"Guided meditation, for older students, Tai Chi," but as Shen can see, all the kids, about two score, seem to be between six and ten, maybe twelve. "But in the dojo they don't have distractions, here is harder," he smiles, looking at the children. "It might be the last Sunday with good weather this year, so we thought it was a good idea."
A soft mmmm, "A difficult style of meditation with distractions, yes. Especially for children. The temple was always so quiet, unlike here." Shen's eyes open and she looks up at Daniel with a smile. "I have never seen so many children learning meditation together before though, it is a beautiful sight."
"They need it more than most people," comments Daniel, "this city brings stressful lives, even for children." Then he looks at Shen again and has an idea, "are you still willing to help? Because right now those kids will listen attentively to anything you want to tell them."
A nod at that, "Of course," Shen says, bowing slightly toward Daniel with respect. "I would be honored." It didn't take her long to finishes off the chocolate, and she glances about for the nearest trash can. The thought of putting it on the ground doesn't even cross her mind.
"Hey kids," announces Daniel. "This young woman is Shen Li-Men, she is going to be your meditation guide today," he turns to Shen. "Yes, she has wings and can fly. She is also from Tibet from real. But I let her to speak for herself." The quietly to Shen, "thank you, I owe you one."
Shen turns to face the students, and bows respectfully. "It is an honor for me to assist with your Guided Meditation. Please be gentle with me, as this is the first time I have been honored with such a request." When she moves, it is graceful and elegant. Rather than the cross-legged position, she rests on her knees, sitting upon her heels. She moves her hands to rest upon her thighs, her wings flexing behind her until they get comfortable.
"Please, everyone, get comfortable." Shen waits a few moments as Daniel Rand's young students settle down, someone likely gathering up the trash from their earlier chocolates. "Now, close your eyes," and Shen does just that and take a deep breath, slowly letting it out. She does it as well.
"Relax your body, everything is a part of you, even the tips of your hair. You will want to start at your toes and work your way slowly up. It is as if you can feel the spirit or blood in your very body flowing through you, endless. Keep your breathing soft and steady, adapting to your body's rhythm."
It is a sunny Sunday in Central Park, although the air is cool, autumn well on the way. A group of 30 or 40 children, few of them white, and a few adults seem to be doing some kind of exercise, right now Shen has been put in charge!
And in a corner of the field Abe, the big bruiser with the mustache, winces when Shen says it is the first time she teaches. Most children would go for the throat of a teacher that admits such. But most teachers don't have wings. And Daniel is the first to follow Shen's instructions, so the children do try too.
While all of this is going on Jenny makes her way over, but it doesn't seem like she's here to join in the meditation, and she certainly doesn't move with Shen's elegant grace. No, she sways a bit and her steps are a bit shuffling, and the flask she's holding -- and drinking from -- probably give a good indication of why. She's also not really dressed for meditation or exercise, given that she's wearing a pair of white dress slacks, a t-shirt that looks like a wearable union jack, and a white trench coat.
Fortunately, she also doesn't seem to be here to disturb things, since she meanders over, pauses to look at what's going on, and then sits down on the ground ungracefully (it's a bit more of a fall than a sit) and takes another swig of whatever she's drinking before putting the flask down and starting to search what pocket she left her cigarettes in.
Shen softens her voice, keeping a soft rhythm to it. "All are connected, the world, each other, and beyond. Even as the grass brushes your pants, there is a sharing energy. As you relax, search for the meaning, the peace and connection within and beyond yourself. Your legs should be relaxed now. Continue to breathe softly, and relax your stomach, your rib cage, and then your back," Shen says slowly. "Now your shoulders, and follow it all the way down to your finger tips. The energy is building, flowing."
A few moments later, Shen mmms softly, "Now your neck, and your face starting with your chin and cheeks, their your forehead. Your head now...your mind...."%RAnd then Shen's voice is very soft and quiet, "Jenny....," as if she can sense the woman nearby, and a soft smile curls about her lips, one of thankfulness and joy.
Daniel relaxes quickly, it is easy for him to fall in a meditation trance, but he doesn't. He is no longer a student. Instead he watches the children, noting who is doing it right, who is really trying, and who is just bored. Also a blonde, young-seeming woman that apparently knows Shen. He glances at Jenny, and nods politely if the blonde looks back.
It takes a moment for Jenny to realize that she put her pack of smokes in her back pocket, and just sat on them. Getting them out involves a bit of awkward maneuvering which would be easier if she weren't intoxicated, and then she's got the pack out and is removing one of the cigarettes from it when Daniel turns to look her way. She has no idea who he is, but she puts a pair of fingers to her forehead and gives him a little mock salute before putting a half-smashed cigarette between her lips and beginning the search for her lighter. It turns out to be in her coat pocket. "Don't let me interrupt," she speaks up, her accent definitely British. "I'm just going to sit here and soak up some zen."
The smile curls a little wider upon Shen's lips, "Your form of meditation is...unusually Jenny." Was that...teasing? When did this world's Shen learn how to tease?! But she is then concentrating on the students again without opening her eyes, "Each of you, open your minds and center them on what you sense, what you feel, what you know. Each of you can provide a unique insight, search for that vision, that piece of yourself that is part of the greater whole."
Maybe Daniel should consider hiring Shen to give classes. The children and soaking it like sponges. Even the most unruly ones. They follow the winged-girl accented voice with rare attention, most of them with the eyes closed, a few trying too hard to seem they have the eyes closed. Daniel looks at those kids, smiling patiently.
"On the contrary, I think it's very typically Jenny," the blonde replies as she gives a brief smirk and then lights her cigarette. She doesn't really seem to care if the smoke ends up bothering anybody, but hey, she's been smoking for longer than probably any two of them have been alive. Even if she doesn't look like it. As she sits there and looks for a moment like she might say something, maybe heckle a bit, but she actually controls herself and, instead, spends some time just watching, drinking, and smoking. After a few minutes she leans back and stares up at the sky, flask resting on her stomach, and closes her eyes to just listen.
Shen continues to guide the children, letting them draw their own 'end' conclusions during their meditations, at least until two of them fall asleep. She then opens her eyes as if sensing it, and chuckles gently. "We apparently have two very good meditation users." Her tone is gentle, and not belittling at all, as the students at soon jerked awake by the change in Shen's tone.
Shen's comment finally breaks the spell, and most of the children look for the 'very good users'. The sleeping ones look confused and soon there are giggles and finger-pointing involved. Daniel stands up and claps his hands. "You all did very well. Congratulations. Now please, follow Mr. Brown towards the Reservoir."
He turns to grin at Shen. "That was amazing, you touched all of them like a true master."
The clapping hands make Jenny crack an eye open again, still staring up at the sky, and then she sits up. A flick of her fingers ashes her cigarette into the grass, and she looks around and then starts to rise. The flask that was resting on her stomach is grabbed at the last minute to keep it from falling. "Done already? I was just starting to feel at one with a nap," she says as she meanders over toward Shen and Daniel.
Shen unfolds herself and moves to rise, stretching her muscles slowly. "You are generous," she says toward Daniel with a soft smile, but she looks happy at the compliment. "I still have far to go to become a master." Though her eyes do flicker toward Jenny, searching instinctively for the woman. "Is that so? I could always talk you to sleep later Jenny, if you so wish." A gentle smile.
As Jenny approaches the two of them, Shen finally relents to her impulse. She moves over to hug the other woman, snugly. "I am pleased to see you safe Jenny. I have been worried. I had no way to contact you." Attachment.
Daniel watches careful so no one of the children are left behind or get lost when the teachers start jogging towards the lake, some distance away. Apparently none does, and he sighs pleased for how the day is going. "I should go with them," he apologizes, "be well, Shen Li-Men. And... Jenny? I am Daniel Rand," he bows politely. "Farewell."
Jenny wraps her arms around Shen and pulls her close, while trying not to get that burning cigarette in her hair (or her wings) at the same time. "If you're one with everything, weren't you there with me the whole time anyway?" she asks humorously, as she steps back out of the hug. "Jenny Sparks," she replies to Daniel, sending him off with just a nod and then turning back to Shen.
She switches to speaking Tibetan when she speaks again. "You look well. Starting to get the hang of life out in the big wide world?" The blonde shakes her head and looks around. "If you figure out how the place works, let me know would you?"
Replying in Tibetan as well, "I am not, but I am learning to blend a little more in. I have made some friends, Cole Cash and Pete Wisdom. Pete is a very interesting man, you are correct in that," and there is a fondness in her tone. "Still, I wish for a way to reach you. I miss you when you are not at my side, part of the whole or not."
"You may not always be able to blend in, but there's nothing wrong with being different," Jenny says to Shen with a reassuring smile, and though she's a little drunk that's kind of typical for her, and there's still a sharp mind behind those eyes. "Nobody could reach me, though. I just needed some time. I didn't expect to come back from the dead, and I'm still wrapping my head around it a bit, but I needed to get away for a while." She shrugs and offers the flask to Shen, even if she doesn't expect it to be accepted. "This time it was only a few months, at least. No lost decades."
A displeased expression appears at the mention of lost decades. But Shen quickly hides it and sighs. "If that is how it must be." She reaches out for the flask, "A flask," seeming to recognize it and sniffs at it, wrinkling her nose a bit. "What is in it? It smells strong." Still, it was offered and this Shen doesn't think to 'decline', so if Jenny doesn't stop her, she will be taste testing.
"Scotch," Jenny replies honestly, prior to putting her cigarette between her lips and taking another long drag. "I still don't know what the hell I'm doing here," she admits to Swift as she looks around again, letting Shen take a drink or not as she wishes. "Alive again. It wasn't supposed to be this way, and I'm not saying I wish that I was dead, but I'd got used to the way things were supposed to be. Now I don't get it. Why don't we walk or some shit?"
Shen coughs a bit after taking a drink of the Scotch, eyes tearing up a bit. She hands it back to you. "Thank...you." Rrrrright! Still, after raising a free hand to wipe at her eyes a bit, Shen says, "Yes, let us walk." She moves to walk close to Jenny.
"You knew me in your home, and you met me here. Do you think...perhaps there is a reason for that? That perhaps, we are linked closer than most?" Shen steals a glance over at Jenny.
Jenny lets out a low laugh at Shen's response to the scotch and takes back the flask, then takes a swig from it. "Any time," she says with a grin. "At least when I'm not out and too broke to buy more." She drops the flask into the pocket of her coat and starts walking, standing near Shen and wavering a little unsteadily.
"You're not the only person I've run into that I knew then," she comments with a shrug. "Pete, for example. A few others. If you're asking me about meaning behind the complexities of life, though, you're asking the wrong person. I'm not sure I believe in any kind of greater plan. Shit just happens. If people can make the most of it then fine."
"I see," Shen says quietly, glancing away from Jenny. She still stands close in case Jenny goes to take a tumble, the bird woman protective of her British friend. "Perhaps there is no meaning, and you need to stop searching Jenny. Why worry about something when 'Shit just happens' after all? Just make the most of it." Did Shen do it on purpose, throwing the woman's words back at her when Jenny is obviously still stressing about her 'death/not death'?
"Well, most shit seems to happen because people cause it," Jenny says, sighing and shaking her head, which causes her to go unsteady for a moment. She leans into Shen, then rights herself after a moment but puts her arm over the bird-woman's shoulders. "I think back about how much shit I caused, whether I meant to or not. Even when I was trying to do the right thing. I used to hope that whoever got this century would do a better job of it, and now I'm back again. Here to fuck things up again."
"Then you must have done more good than bad Jenny Sparks." Shen does not push the drunk and smoke smelling Brit away, rather moving an arm about Jenny's waist to give her additional support. She guides Jenny toward some shade, pausing there so she can really look into her friend's face. "Jenny." She waits to see if she really has Jenny's attention, before she finishes. "I believe in you." Nothing extra said, it's simple and straight forward. It is not meant to add extra weight, but the simple faith is obvious. Something Jenny never even asked for.
Jenny allows herself to be lead over to that patch of shade, and when Shen tries to get her attention she gives it, looking into the other woman's eyes. For a few seconds after that statement about belief in her, the blonde's expression is serious and there seem to be a genuine gratitude behind her eyes. Then the smartass comes out again, like a defense mechanism that she's built up in over a century of life. "You also believe in reincarnation," she says a bit chidingly. "We all know that in the real world once you're dead, that's it. It's over."
"And yet your spirit came from one world to another Jenny. Not all is known, even to you 'old woman'." Oooh, Shen did not! She did! She did! But Shen's arm is still supportive about Jenny's waist, and the young woman sighs softly. "You do not know all, and this frustrates you, because answers are eluding you. Sometimes the answers are not through waiting, but through acting. I have come to learn that waiting will not give me the answers to my fate, I must act. Perhaps, your answers will come to you the same way."
"Maybe you're right. Maybe I should just act," Jenny says, and she thinks about this for just a second before nodding, like she's convinced, and then leaning in to kiss Shen. It's a somewhat explorative kiss, a soft press of closed lips against hers, held there for a moment to see what kind of response she gets to them. Whether Shen will push her away or draw her in. If the Tibetan is offended, well... hopefully the fact that Jenny's a little drunk will make up for it, or at least sort of explain it.
A bit of surprise at first, but then, a shy return of the kiss. There is no judgement from Shen, rather...the young woman seems to relax into it as if she was slightly tense before. To this Shen though...this is only her second kiss and she prays it does not end in another 'I'm sorry'...because with Jenny, she thinks she would embarrass herself and cry.
Shen's arm becomes more firm about Jenny's waist, pulling her a little closer instinctively.
Jenny doesn't seem nervous, or shy, or particularly tense. A little drunk, though, and her lips taste like cigarettes and scotch, which is probably not everything that Shen might hope for in a kiss.
As they kiss she slips an arm around Shen's waist and pulls her gently closer, but after a moment she draws her lips away. Her eyes are closed. "You taste like the Shen I knew," she says. "You smell like her. It's hard to remember, sometimes, that you're not." No sorry, though. That she doesn't say.
Shen looks a little flushed, but she smiles softly, not taking offense as she reaches up to caress Jenny's cheek gently. "I am her, and yet I am not." Shen does not point out she was right in judging the two of you were close, her own heart feels full for once so she remains silent about that. "Do the differences upset you Jenny?" A touch of concern accenting Shen's tone then.
"No," Jenny answers immediately and honestly, as she turns her head slightly to press her cheek against Shen's hand. "Our differences are one of the things that make people interest, aren't they? I don't want to be unfair to you, that's all." She closes her eyes again and takes a deep breath. "Am I being unfair?"
"No," Shen says, "I do not believe so. I felt connected with you as soon as we met. As if...I came home in the middle of a place that was so alien to me." Her eyes search Jenny's. "I missed you when you were gone," she says softly. "Greatly. I am glad that you have returned. Honestly, I doubt I would even mind if you were being a little unfair." And Shen smiles softly at that. "Just as I ignore the fact you smell like a bar," and there it is, that hint of teasing Shen picked up the ability to do since you disappeared.
"I'll take that as a compliment," says Jenny to smelling like a bar, though given how much time she spends in them in might very well be to her. "I'm glad if you don't mind. I think I should go, though. Home. Well, to my hotel. It's not far from here." She turns and looks that way. "Will you walk me there, at least?"
"I would be honored," Shen says. And she will keep an arm about Jenny so the woman doesn't take a tumble. Shen would offer to fly her...but knowing her luck, Jenny might lose some of that liquor she's storing in her stomach...so walking it is.
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