The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh/Transcript

Narrator: This could be the room of any small boy, but it just happens to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. Like most small boys, Christopher Robin has toy animals to play with, and they all live together in a wonderful world of make-believe. But his best friend is a bear called Winnie the Pooh, or Pooh, for short. Now, Pooh had some very unusual adventures, and they all happened right here in the Hundred-Acre Wood.
Singers: Deep in the hundred acre wood where Christopher Robin plays You'll find the enchanted neighborhood of Christopher's childhood days A donkey named Eeyore is his friend and Kanga and little Roo with Tigger too  There's Rabbit and Piglet and there's Owl, but most of all Winnie the Pooh Winnie the Pooh Winnie the Pooh Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff He's Winnie the Pooh Winnie the Pooh Willy nilly silly old bear Winnie the Pooh (pooh) Winnie the Pooh (pooh) Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff He's Winnie the Pooh Winnie the Pooh Willy nilly silly old bear
Narrator: Winnie the Pooh lived in this enchanted forest under the name of Sanders, which means he had the name over the door in gold letters, and he lived under it. Now when Pooh heard his Pooh-coo clock (pooh-coo, pooh-coo, pooh-coo, pooh-coo, pooh-coo, pooh-coo, pooh-coo, pooh-coo) he knew it was time for something, but he was a bear of very little brain, so when he thought he thought in the most thoughtful way he could think.
Pooh: Haven't thought of anything, have you? No, neither have I. Think, think, think. Oh, yes. Time for my stoutness exercise. Up, down, up When I up, down, touch the ground It puts me in the mood, Up, down touch the ground In the mood (smack, smack) for food, I am stout, round and I have found, Speaking poundage wise, I improve my appetite When I exercise. Oh, stuff and fluff, that's better, thank you, now where was I? Oh yes, I'm rumblee in my tumblee. Time for something sweet. I am short, fat and proud of that, And so with all my might I up, down, up, down to My appetite's delight! While I up, down, touch the ground, I think of things to chew, (Mmm, like honey, milk, and chocolate) With a hefty happy appetite, I'm a hefty happy Pooh.
Singers: With a hefty happy appetite, He's a hefty happy Pooh
Pooh: Oh, bother! Empty again! Only the sticky part's left.
(Bizzzzz, Buzzzzzz)
Pooh: That buzzing noise means something, and the only reason for making a buzzing-noise that I know of is because you're a bee! And the only reason for being a bee is to make honey! And the only reason for making honey is so I can eat it.
Narrator: And so Winnie the Pooh climbed the honey tree. He climbed and he climbed and he climbed, and as he climbed he hummed a little hum.
Pooh: And I call it my rumblee and my tumblee song.
Narrator: Yes, and it went something like this:
Hum dum de dum, hum dum de dum, I'm so rumblee in my tumblee, Time to munch an early luncheon, Hum de dum dum dum Oh I wouldn't climb this tree If a Pooh flew like a bee, But I wouldn't be a bear then So I guess I wouldn't care then! Bears love honey and I'm a Pooh bear So I do care, so I'll climb there, I'm so rumblee in my tumblee, Time for something, for something... sweet... to eat!
If only I hadn't... You see, what I meant to do... It all comes, I suppose of... liking honey so much. Oh, bother.
Narrator: Winnie the Pooh crawled out of the gorse-bush, brushed the prickles from his nose and began to think again.
Think, think, think.
And the first person he thought of was -Winnie the Pooh? - No, Christopher Robin! Oh.
Christopher Robin lived in another part of the forest, where he could be near his friends and help them with their problems. On this summer day, gloomy old Eeyore being stuffed with saw-dust had lost his tail again.
Eeyore, this won't hurt.
Never does.
Ooh, heh, heh.
There now! Did I get your tail on properly Eeyore?
No matter. Most likely lose it again anyway.
Owl: It is my considered opinion that Eeyore's tail should be placed a trifle to the a... right.
[Kanga] Now, if you would ask me, I think it just a wee bit...
[Roo] South!
[Kanga] No, no. North, dear.
[Christopher Robin] Cheer up, Eeyore! Don't be so gloomy! Try swishing it.
(Swish, swish, swish, swish, swish)
[Owl] It worked, it worked!
[Roo] Oh Goody! Hooray!
[Eeyore] Thanks. It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
[Pooh] Good morning, Christopher Robin!
Oh, good morning, Winnie the Pooh!
[Kanga] Good morning, Pooh Bear!
[Roo] Good morning, Pooh Bear!
[Eeyore] If it is a good morning, which I doubt.
[Christopher Robin] What are you looking for Pooh Bear?
I just said to myself coming along thinking and wondering if you had such a thing as a umm, such a thing Christopher, a as a balloon about you?
What do you want a balloon for?
Pooh: Psst! Honey.
But you don't get honey with a balloon!
I do.
How?
I just fly like a bee, up to the honey tree, see!
But, just a minute! You can't fool the bees that way.
You'll see. Now would you be so kind as to pull me to a muddy place of which I know of.
So Christopher Robin pulled Winnie the Pooh to the very muddy place. And Pooh rolled and rolled until he was black all over.
There, now. Isn't this a clever disguise?
What are you supposed to be?
A little black rain cloud, of course.
Hmmm. Silly old bear.
Now would you aim me at the bees, please?
Careful, Pooh! Hold on tight.
Pooh: Yes.
Christopher Robin: Four,
Pooh: Yes.
Christopher Robin: Three,
Pooh: Yes.
Christopher Robin: Two,
Pooh: Yes.
Christopher Robin: One!
I'm just a little black rain cloud
Hovering under the honey tree,
I'm only a little black rain cloud,
Pay no attention to little me.
Ev'ryone knows that a rain cloud
Never eats honey, no, not a nip,
I'm just floating around over the ground
Wondering where I will drip.
Christopher Robin! I think the bees S-U-S-P-E-C-T something.
Perhaps they think you're after their honey?
Why it maybe that. You never can tell with bees.
I'm not a hungry old Pooh bear I'm just a little black honey cloud, Christopher Robin! I think it would help with this deception if you would get, kind of open, your umbrella and say: Tut-tut, it looks like rain.
Tut-tut, it looks like rain, Tut-tut, it looks like rain.
Ooooh. Christopher Robin, I have come to a very important decision. These are the wrong sorts of bees.
Excuse me please, bees.
Christopher Robin! Oh, bother. I think I shall come down.
I'll catch you Pooh! Ohhh.
Hurry. Come on! A bee.
Pooh: Help! Christopher! Christopher Robin, you never can tell with bees.
Narrator: Now Pooh was not the sort to give up easily. When he put his mind to honey, he stuck to it. Now honey rhymes with bunny, and bunny rhymes with...a...
Pooh: Rabbit? I like Rabbit, because he uses short easy words like "How about lunch?" and "Help yourself, Pooh"
Rabbit: Pooh? Lunch? Oh, no, not again. Oh my, oh my, oh my goodness gracious!
Pooh: Is anybody at home? "What I said was, 'Is anybody at home?'
Rabbit: No.
Pooh: Bother. Isn't there anybody here at all?
Rabbit: Nobody.
Pooh: Somebody's there, because somebody must have said "nobody". Oh Rabbit, isn't that you?
Rabbit: Noooo.
Pooh: But isn't that Rabbit's voice?
Rabbit: I don't think so, it isn't meant to be.
Pooh: Hallo, Rabbit!
Rabbit: Oh, oh, hello Pooh Bear. Uh... Pooh Bear? A, uh...uh...What a pleasant surprise! Uh, uh... how about lunch?
Pooh: Oh, thank you Rabbit.
Rabbit: And help yourself, Pooh. Would you like condensed milk, or honey on your bread?
Pooh: Both. But, never mind the bread, please. Just a small helping, if you please?
Rabbit: There you are. Is a... something wrong?
Pooh: Well, I didn't mean a little larger small helping.
Rabbit: But perhaps you'd save time if you took a whole... jar.
Pooh: Thank you Rabbit.
Narrator: So Pooh ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate... and ATE! Until at last he said to Rabbit in a rather sticky voice:
Pooh: I must be going now. Good bye, Rabbit.
Rabbit: Well, good bye, if you're sure you won't have any more.
Pooh: Is there any more?
Rabbit: No, there isn't.
Pooh: I thought not. Oh, oh, oooo help and bother. I'm stuck.
Rabbit: Oh, dear, oh gracious, well, it all comes from eating too much.
Pooh: Oh it all comes of not having front doors big enough.
Rabbit: Oh dear, it's no use, there's only one thing to do, I'll get Christopher Robin. Oh, dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh my, heavens to Betsy.
Well, if it isn't Pooh Bear.
Oh hallo Owl.
Splendid day... to be up and about one's business... Oh, I say, are you stuck?
No, no, just resting and thinking and humming to myself.
You, sir, are stuck. A wedged bear in a great tightness. In a word, irremovable. Now obviously this situation calls for an expert.
Gopher: Somebody call for excavation expert? I'm not in the book, but I'm at your service. Gopher's the name. Here's my card. What's your problem?
Yes, yes, yes, yes. It seems the entrance to Rabbit's domicile is impassable. To be exact, plugged.
And you want me to dig it out?
Precisely, I say, it's over here my good fellow.
Fist thing to be done is get rid of that bear. He's gumming up the whole project.
Dash it all, he is the project.
Umm... Hard digging, might hit bedrock, danger can happen, risky. Needs planks for bracing. Big job, take two, three days.
Three days? What about lunches?
No problem, I always go home for lunch.
Oh, this will run into money.
I say, how much
Er, do the job for hourly wage, plus cover material plus overtime plus 10 percent.
And your estimate?
Sorry I can't give you an estimate, too risky.
Blast it all.
Gopher: Good idea! Will dynamite, save time.
Owl: What's the charge?
The charge? Oh, about seven sticks of dynamite.
Oh no no no, the cost, the charge in money?
No charge account, I work strictly cash.
Obviously, but I should think...
Gopher: Well I can't stand around lollygaging all day, I've got a tight schedule...Think it over. Let me know. You've got my card. I'm not in the book, you know.
Owl: Oh dash it all, he's gone.
Pooh: After all, he's not in the book you know.
Owl: Oh.
Rabbit: Here we come, don't worry.
Christopher Robin: Cheer up, Pooh bear, we're coming. We'll get you out.
Eeyore: Well, maybe.
Christopher Robin: Silly old bear, here, give me your paw.
Pooh: Oh, it's no use, I'm stuck.
Christopher Robin: Well, if we can't pull you out Pooh, perhaps we can push you back.
Rabbit: Oh, no, not that. Oh, my gracious, oh dear. Having got this far, it seems a pity to waste it.
Christopher Robin: Pooh bear, there's only one thing we can do, wait for you to get thin again.
Pooh: Oh bother, how long will that take?
Eeyore: Days, weeks, months, who knows.
Rabbit: Oh dear, if I have to face that, that thing for months.... Make the best of it. Oh, no! There it is again! Well, I'll just turn it to the wall. Oh, dear! Yes, a frame! Ah-ha! No, no, no, no. No. Nice.... And a splash of color. Oh, it, it, it just doesn't have that rustic and proper look. There. A hunting trophy. I know just the thing.
Pooh: Something tickles.
Rabbit: Oh, Pooh! You mess up my moose!
Kanga: Pooh, Roo has a little surprise for you.
Roo: Flowers!
Pooh: Honeysuckle!
Kanga: No, Pooh. You don't eat them--- you smell them.
Pooh: Oh. (Sniff)
Rabbit: It's not bad, not bad at all. It's rather good I think.
Pooh: Awwww.... (Sniff) Awwww...
Rabbit: Oh, no, no.
Pooh: Chooo!
Rabbit: Oh, no, no, help! Why did I ever invite that bear to lunch? Why, oh why, oh why?
Narrator: While Pooh's bottom was stuck at the top of page 28, his top was stuck at the bottom of page 30. So both ends waited to get thin again. Day after day, night after lonely night.
Pooh: I wonder what's for breakfast? (Snore) Breakfast, (snore) lunch. A lunchbox!
Gopher: It certainly is. I'm working at swing-shift you know. Time for my midnight snack. Say, aren't you that stuck up bear? I still think I can blast you out of there.
Pooh: What sort of lunch is in that lunchbox?
Gopher: Here, a... let me see here... summer squash, summer salad, succotash, custard, and honey.
Pooh: Honey?
Rabbit: Honey! Oh, no!
Pooh: Could you spare a small smackerel?
Gopher: Say, you have to do something about that speech impediment, sonny.
Pooh: Oh, thank you Gopher.
Rabbit: Oh, no, not that, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not one drop!
Pooh: But Rabbit, I wasn't going to eat it. I was just going to taste it.
Rabbit: I'll taste it for you.
Gopher: That supercilious scoundrel confiscated my honey!
Rabbit: DON'T FEED THE BEAR!
Gopher: I'm gonna skidaddle. I'm not in the book... And I'm a dinkdad glad of it.
Narrator: And then one morning, when Rabbit was beginning to think that he might never be able to use his front door again, it happened.
Rabbit: He budged! Hooray! Christopher Robin! Christopher Robin! He bidged! He badged! He boodged! Today is the day!
hooray for you
hooray for me
hooray, hooray
The Pooh will soon be free
Dum da dum pa rum pa rum pa rum
Now the time has come for proving what the diet did for Pooh
And since we pledged he'd be unwedged that's what we're going to do
He'll be pulled and he'll be tugged and eventually unplugged
We'll have a tug of war, To open rabbit's door
Think heave-ish
Think ho-ish
And out the Pooh will go-ish
For mind over matter has made the Pooh un-fatter
Heave!
Ho!
Heave!
Ho!
Heave Heave Heave Heave Heeeeeeeeave. (Pop!)
[Rabbit] There he goes!
[Gopher] Suffering sassafras. He is sailing clean out of the book. Quick, turn the page.
[Eeyore] Stuck again.
[Christopher Robin] Don't worry, Pooh! We'll get you out.
[Pooh] No hurry! Take your time. Yum, yum. Bears love honey and I'm a Pooh bear Yum Yum Yum Yum Time for something sweet
[Narrator] So we come to the next chapter, in which...
[Pooh] But I haven't finished yet!
[Narrator] But Pooh, you're in the next chapter.
[Pooh] Oh, what happens to me?
[Narrator] Well, let's turn the page and find out. Now one fine day the east wind traded places with the west wind, and that's turned things up a bit all through the Hundred Acre Wood. Now, on this blustery day Pooh decided to visit his thoughtful spot.
[Pooh] Yes, and on the way I made up a little hum. And it hummed something like this:
Hum dum dum ditty dum
Hum dum dum
Oh the wind is lashing lustily
And the trees are thrashing thrustily
And the leaves are rustling gustily
So it's rather safe to say
That it seems that it may turn out to be
It feels that it will undoubtedly
It looks like a rather blustery day, today
It seems that it may turn out to be
Feels that it will undoubtedly
Looks like a rather blustery day, today.
Fortunately, Pooh's thoughtful spot was in a sheltered place. Now he sat down and tried hard to think of something.
Think, think, think
Gopher: Say, what's wrong, sonny? Got yourself a headache?
Pooh: No, I was just thinking.
Gopher: That's so, what about?
Pooh: I, oh bother, you made me forget.
Gopher: If I was you I'd think about skiddaddling out of here.
Pooh: Why?
Gopher: 'Caus it's wind's day.
Pooh: Windsday? Oh, I think I shall wish everyone a happy Windsday, and I shall begin with my very dear friend, Piglet.
Narrator: Now Piglet lived in the middle of the forest in a very grand house in the middle of a beech tree. And Piglet loved it very much.
Piglet: Yes, oops. You see its been in the family a long time, a... it belonged to my grandfather. Oh, that's his name up there, "Trespassers Will", that's short for a...Trespassers William.
Narrator: Trespassers William?
Piglet: Yes, and Grandma, she called him TW. That's even shorter.
Narrator: Yes, yes, yes, and on this blustery day the wind was giving you a bit of a bug.
Piglet: Now, you've been here before. I don't mind the leaves that are leaving. It's the leaves that are coming. Whooops.
Pooh: Happy Windsday, Piglet .
Piglet: Well, it isn't very happy for me.
Pooh: Where're you going Piglet?
Piglet: That's what I'm asking myself, where? Whhooooops! P-P-P-P-POOH!
Pooh: What do you think you will answer yourself?
Piglet: Oh, oh, oh... I'm unraveling! Whooops. Ohhh. That was a close one!
Pooh: Hang on tight Piglet!
Piglet: Oh dear, oh dear, dear!
Roo: Look Momma, look! A kite!
Kanga: Oh my goodness! It's Piglet!
Pooh: Happy Windsday Kanga, happy Windsday Roo!
Roo: Can I fly Piglet next Pooh?
Piglet: Oh dear, oh dear, dear!
Eeyore: There, that should stand against anything.
Piglet: Oh help, help! Somebody save me! (CRASH).
Pooh: Happy Windsday Eeyore!
Eeyore: Thanks for noticin' me.
Pooh: Oh, bother.
Rabbit: What a refreshing day for harvesting.
Pooh: Happy Windsday Rabbit!
Rabbit: Pooh Bear! Stop! Oh, come back. Oh no, oh no, oh no. OH YES! Next time I hope he blows right through my rutabaga patch.
Owl: Who, who, who is it?
Piglet: It's me. P-P-Please, may I come in?
Owl: Well I say now. Someone has pasted Piglet on my window. Well, well, Pooh too! This is a surprise! Do come in and make yourselves... comfortable. Am I correct in assuming it is a rather blustery day outside ?
Piglet: Yes sir, Owl, it's a very, very blustery day, outside.
Pooh: Oh yes, that reminds me, happy Windsday Owl!
My good fellow, I wouldn't go so far as to call it a Windsday, just a gentle spring zephyr.
Excuse me Owl, is there honey in that pot?
Oh yes, yes, of course, help yourself. Now as I was saying this is just a mild spring zephyr compared to the big wind of '67, or was it a... '76? Oh well, no matter. Oh, I remember the big blow well.
[Piglet] I'll remember this one too.
It was the year my Aunt Clara went to visit her cousin. Now her cousin was not only gifted on the glockenspiel, but being a screech owl, also sang soprano in the London Opera.
[Pooh] Thank you Piglet.
You see her constant practicing so unnerved my aunt that she laid a c-note down by mistake!
(Owl's Tree crashes to the ground).
[Piglet] Oh dear, oh dear, dear!
Well I say now, someone has, Pooh, did you do that?
I don't think so.
[Narrator] As soon as Christopher Robin heard of the disaster, he hurried to the scene of Owl's misfortune.
[Christopher Robin] What a pity! Owl, I don't think we will ever be able to fix it.
[Eeyore] If you ask me, when a house looks like that, it's time to find another one.
[Christopher Robin] That's a very good idea Eeyore.
[Eeyore] It might take a day or two, but I'll find a new one.
[Owl] Good, that will just give me time to tell you about my Uncle Clyde, a very independent barn owl. He didn't give a hoot for tradition, he became an namable pussy cat and went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat.
[Narrator] Owl talked from page 41 to page 62, and on page 62 the blustery day turned into a blustery night. To Pooh it was a very anxious sort of night, filled with anxious sorts of noises, and one of the noises was a sound that had never been heard before.
Grrrr
Piglet. Is that you?
Grrrrowl.
Oh tell me about it tomorrow, Eeyore?
Grrrrowl
Come in Christopher Robin.
Now Pooh being a bear of very little brain decided to invite the new sound in.
Hello out there. Oh I hope nobody answers.
Tigger: Hello, I'm Tigger!
Pooh: Oh, you scared me.
Tigger: Yeah, sure I did. Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Everyone's scared of Tiggers. Who are you?
Pooh: I'm Pooh.
Tigger: Oh, Pooh, sure. What's a Pooh?
Pooh: You're sitting on one.
Tigger: I am? Oh well, glad to meet you! Name's Tigger. T I double Ga eR. That spells Tigger.
Pooh: But what is a Tigger?
Well, he asked for it...
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one.
I'm the only one
(GRRrrrrrr...)
Then what's that over there?
Oh, look, look, look! What a strange looking creature! Look at those beady little eyes and that preposterous chin and those ricky tickin striped pajamas.
Looks like another Tigger to me.
Oh no it's not. I'm the only Tigger! Watch me scare the stripes of that impostor. Grrrr! Is he gone?
All except the tail. He's gone. You can come out now, Tigger. Tigger ?
Hello, I'm Tigger!
You said that.
Oh, did I say I was hungry?
I don't think so.
Now I say it. I'm hungry.
Not for honey, I hope.
Honey! A pot of honey. That's what Tiggers like best.
I was afraid of that.
Oh say, YUCK! Tiggers don't like honey!
But you said that you liked...
That sticky stuff is only fit for Heffalumps and Woozles.
You mean Elephants and Weasels.
That's what I said, Heffalumps and Woozles.
What do they do?
Oh, nothing much, just steal honey.
Steal honey?
Tigger: Yes sure do, well I'd better bounce along now chum. Cheerio! The wonderful thing about Tiggers Is Tiggers are marvelous chaps They're loaded with vim and vigor, they love to leap in your laps! They're jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, thumpy Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN! But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers Is I'm the only one. I'm the only one.
Narrator: Well if what Tigger said was true, and there really were Heffalumps and Woozles about, there was only one thing to do; take drastic precautions to protect his precious honey.
Pooh: Oh, hallo, am I glad to see you? It's more friendly with two. Now, you go that way and I'll go this way. You didn't see anything, did you ? Neither did I.
Narrator: Now the very blustery night turned into a very rainy night. And Pooh kept his lonely vigil, hour after hour, after hour, until at last Pooh fell fast asleep and began to dream.
???: Heffalumps and Woozles, Heffalumps and Woozles steal honey, beware, beware!
They're black they're brown they're up their down
They're in they're out they're all about
They're far they're near they're gone they're here
They're quick and slick and insincere
Beware Beware Be a very wary bear
A Heffalump or Woozle is very confusel
A Heffalump or Woozle is very sly
sly - sly - sly
They come in ones and twoosels
but if they so choosels
before your eyes you'll see them multiply
ply - ply - ply
They're extra-ordinary so better be wary
Because they come in every shape and size
size - size - size
If honey is what you covet you'll find that they love it
Because they guzzle up the thing you prize
They're green they're blue they're pink they're white
They're round they're square they're a terrible sight
They tie themselves in horrible knots
They come in stripes or polka-dots
Beware Beware Be a very wary bear
{musical interlude}
They're extra-ordinary so better be wary
Because they come in every shape and size
size - size - size
If honey's what you covet you'll find that they love it
Because they guzzle up the things you prize
They're black they're brown they're up their down
They're in they're out they're all about
They're far they're near they're gone they're here
They're quick and slick and insincere
Beware Beware Beware Beware Beware....
[Pooh] Is it raining in there? It's raining out here too.
[Narrator] As a matter of fact it was raining all over the Hundred Acre Wood. There was a thunderstorm on page 71, and on page 73 there was a bit of a cloudburst. It rained, and it rained, and it rained.
The rain rain rain came down down down
in rushing rising rivlets
Till the river crept out of its bed
and crept right into Piglet's
For Piglet he was frightened with quite a rightful fright
And so in desperation a message he did write
Help!
P-P-Piglet
Me!
He placed it in a bottle and it floated out of sight
And the rain rain rain came down down down
so Piglet started bailing
He was unaware atop his chair
while bailing he was sailing
And the rain rain rain came down down down
and the flood rose up-up-upper
Pooh too was caught and so he thought
I must rescue my supper
Ten honey pots he rescued enough to see him through
But as he sopped up his supper
The river sopped up Pooh
And the water twirled and tossed him
In a honey pot
... rain rain rain came down down down
when the rain rain rain came down down down... (fade)
[Narrator] So the Hundred Acre Wood got floodier and floodier, but the water couldn't come up to Christopher Robin's house, so that's where everyone was gathering. It was a time of great excitement. But in the midst of all excitement Eeyore stubbornly stuck to his task of house hunting for Owl.
[Eeyore] There's one. Cozy cottage. Nice location. Bit damp for Owl though.
Meanwhile little Roo made an important discovery.
[Roo] Look! I've rescued a bottle! And it's got something in it too!
[Christopher Robin] It's a message! And it says: "Help! P-P-Piglet. ME!" Owl, you fly over to Piglet's house, and tell him we'll make a rescue.
A rescue ! Yes, yes, of course, of course.
So Owl flew out over the flood and he soon spotted two tiny objects below him. One was little Piglet caught in the whirlpool and the other was Pooh trying to get the last bit of honey from the pot.
[Pooh] Yum, yum.
[Piglet] Oh, Owl, I don't need... but I'm afraid, I'm scared.
[Owl] Now, now Piglet, chin up and all that sort of thing. A rescue is being thought of. Be brave, little Piglet !
[Piglet] It's awfully hard to be brave when you're such a small animal.
[Owl] Then to divert your small mind from your unfortunate predicament I should tell you an amusing antidote. It concerns a distant cousin of mine who became so frightened during a flood that he...
[Piglet] I beg your pardon Owl, but I t-t-think we're coming to a very big waterfall.
[Owl] Please, no interruptions.
[Owl] Ah, there you are, Pooh Bear. Now, to continue my story.
[Christopher Robin] Look! There's Pooh ! Over here Pooh!
Oh, hello Christopher Robin.
Pooh, thank goodness you're safe. Have you seen Piglet?
Excuse me, I'm here. What I mean is, here I am.
Pooh ! You rescued Piglet!
I did ?
Yes. And it was a very brave thing to do.
It was?
You're our hero!
I am
And as soon as the flood is over I shall give you a hero party!
(Hooray's from everybody!)
[Christopher Robin] Attention everybody ! Now this party is a hero party, because of what someone did. And that someone is...
[Eeyore] I found it.
[Christopher Robin] Found what, Eeyore ?
[Eeyore] House for Owl.
[Owl] I say Eeyore, good job.
[Piglet] Oh, isn't that wonderful. Where is it Eeyore?
[Eeyore] If you want to follow me, I'll show it to you.
So everyone followed Eeyore. Then to the surprise of all, Eeyore stopped right in front of...
[Rabbit] Piglet's house?
[Christopher Robin] Why are you stopping here Eeyore?
[Eeyore] This is it. Owl's new house.
[Rabbit] Oh dear. Mercy me.
[Piglet] Oh dear. Mercy me too.
[Eeyore] Name's on it and everything. W O L. That spells Owl.
[Owl] Bless my soul. So it does!
[Eeyore] Well, what do you think of it?
[Christopher Robin] It is a nice house Eeyore, but...
[Kanga] It is a lovely house Eeyore, but...
[Piglet] It's, it's the best house in the whole world.
[Pooh] Tell them it's your house Piglet.
No Pooh. This house belongs (sniff) to our very good friend, Owl.
[Pooh] But Piglet ! Where will you live?
Well, I guess I shall live, I suppose I shall live-
[Pooh] With me! You shall live with me! Won't you Piglet?
With you? Oh, thank you Pooh Bear, of course I will.
[Christopher Robin] Piglet, that was a very grand thing to do.
[Rabbit] A heroic thing to do.
[Pooh] Christopher Robin, can you make a one hero party into a two hero party?
[Christopher Robin] Of course, we can, silly ol' bear.
And so Pooh was a hero for saving Piglet, and Piglet was a hero for giving Owl his grand home in the beech tree.
We never will forget our hero of the wet
Our quick thinking unsinking Pooh bear
And Piglet who indeed helped out a friend in need
For truly they're the heroes of the day
So we say Hip Hip Hooray for the Piglet and the Pooh
Piglet and Pooh we salute you...
... [Gopher] What's all that stomping and singing and silly shenanigans...
for deeds of bravery and generosity
Hip Hip Hooray
Hip Hip Hooray
Hip Hip Hooray for Winnie the Pooh
Piglet: And Piglet too.
Pooh: I sure like bouncing! Wasn't that fun, Piglet?
Piglet: Yes, Pooh, but the best part is when it stops!
Narrator: Well, in the next chapter there's a great deal of bouncing.
Piglet: There is? I think that I just remembered something that I forgot to do yesterday and shan't be able to do tomorrow so I suppose I better go back and do it now! Uh, goodbye, Pooh!
Pooh: Goodbye, Piglet! Now, is the next chapter all about me?
Narrator: No, no, it's mostly about Tigger.
Pooh: Oh, bother!
Narrator: But you're in it!
Pooh: Oh, good! What will I be doing?
Narrator: Well, Pooh, you'll be sitting in your thoughtful spot, thinking as usual.
Pooh: Think, think, think, think, think, think, think.
Narrator: And while he was thinking, all of a sudden-
Pooh: Ooof!
Tigger: Hello, Pooh! Grrrr. I'm Tigger! T-i-double guh-er! That spells Tigger!
Pooh: I know. You've bounced me before.
Tigger: I did? Oh, yeah! I re-cog-go-nize you! You're the one that's stuffed with fluff!
Pooh: Yeah, and you're sitting on it.
Tigger: Yeah, and it's comfy, too! Hoo-hoo-hoo! Well, I gotta go, now! I got a lot of bouncing to do! Hoo-hoo-hoo! T-T-F-N! Ta ta for now!
Narrator: Well, there goes Tigger, always bouncing in on his friends when they least expect him.
Piglet: Ooof!
Tigger: Grrrr! Oh, hello, Piglet! I'm Tigger!
Piglet: Oh, Tigger! You scared me!
Tigger: Oh, shucks! That was just one of my little bounces!
Piglet: It was? Oh, thank you, Tigger.
Tigger: Yeah, I'm saving my best bounce for old long ears! Hoo-hoo-hoo! Ta ta!
Rabbit: Hum-de-dum-dum. Hum-de-dum-dum. Hum de-dum-dum-dum-de-dum-dum. There! That should do it! Oh no! Stop!
Tigger: Hello, Rabbit! I'm Tigger! T-I-double guh-
Rabbit: Please, please! Don't spell it! Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Just-just looks at my beautiful garden!
Tigger: Yuck! Messy, isn't it?
Rabbit: Messy?! Messy?! It's ruined! It's ruined, Tigger! Oh, why don't you ever stop bouncing?
Tigger: Why? That's what tiggers do best! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
The wonderful thing about tiggers Is tiggers are wonderful things Their tops are made out of rubber Their bottoms are made out of springs They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy Fun fun fun fun fun fun But the most wonderful thing about tiggers Is I'm the only one I'm the only one! Grrrr!
Rabbit: Order! Order, please! Now I say Tigger's getting so bouncy nowadays, that it's time we taught him a lesson. No matter how much we like him, you can't deny he just bounces too much!
Piglet: Ah, uh, excuse me, Rabbit. Perhaps if we could think of a way of un-bouncing Tigger, it would be a very good idea, huh?
Rabbit: Exactly! Just what I feel! Uh, what do you feel, Pooh?
Pooh: (snoring)
Piglet: Pooh!
Pooh: Ah, uh, huh?
Piglet: Haven't you been listening to what Rabbit's been saying?
Pooh: I listened, but then I had a small piece of fluff in my ear. Could you say it again, please, Rabbit?
Rabbit: Well, where should I start from?
Pooh: From the moment the fluff got in my ear.
Rabbit: Well, when was that?
Pooh: I don't know; I couldn't hear properly.
Piglet: Pooh, we were just trying to think of a way to get the bounce out of Tigger.
Rabbit: Oh, I've got a splendid idea! Now, listen. We'll take Tigger for a long explore, see? Someplace where he's never been, and we lose him there!
Pooh: Lose him?
Rabbit: Oh, we'll find him again, next morning. An mark my words, he'll be a humble Tigger. A small and sad Tigger. An "Oh Rabbit, am I glad to see you!" Tigger. And it'll take the bounce out of him. Now, all in favor say "Aye."
Piglet: Aye. Pooh! Pooh!
Pooh: Ah, here!
Rabbit: Good! Motion carried!
Narrator: So it was agreed that they would start the next morning which, incidentally, turned out cold and misty. Pooh, as usual, had a little something along to sustain himself. And now, as Tigger kept bouncing farther and farther into the mist, Rabbit thought it was a good time to lose Tigger.
Rabbit: Now's our chance! Quick! In here! Hide!
Piglet: Tigger's lost, now, isn't he, Rabbit?
Rabbit: Oh, he's lost all right, Piglet!
Piglet: Oh, goody! This is lots of fun, Pooh!
Rabbit: My splendid idea worked! Now home we go!
Pooh: Good! Yum, yum! It's time for lunch!
Tigger: Hellooo!
Rabbit: Oh my goodness! Hide!
Tigger: Hellooo! That's funny; they must be lost. Hello! (echoing) Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hey, you blokes, where are ya?
Pooh: In-
Rabbit: Shush!
Pooh: I am shushed!
Tigger: Hey! Where in the heck are you guys? Hellooo! Rabbit? Piglet? Where are you? Hellooo?
Rabbit: Hooray! Hooray, we've done it! Now, come on, hurry! Let's head for home!
Narrator: Well, Rabbit was certain that everything was going according to plan, and so it seemed to be. But sometime later, on the bottom of page 123...
Rabbit: Hmmm. It's a very funny thing how everything looks the same in the mist.
Pooh: He's right, Piglet! It's the very same sandpit!
Piglet: I think so, too, Pooh.
Rabbit: Well, it's lucky I know the forest so well, or-or we might get lost. Well, come on. Follow me.
Narrator: Now, Pooh was getting tired of seeing the same sandpit, and he suspected it of following them about because whichever direction they started in, they always seemed to end up at it.
Pooh: Ah, er, Rabbit?
Rabbit: Yes?
Pooh: Say, Rabbit, how would it be if as soon as we're out of sight of this old pit, we just try to find it again?
Rabbit: What's the good of that?
Pooh: Well, you see, we keep looking for home but we keep finding this pit so I thought if we looked for this pit, we might find home.
Rabbit: I don't see much sense in that. If I walked away from this pit, and then walked back to it, of course I should find it! I'll prove it to you! Wait here.
Narrator: So Pooh and Piglet waited in the mist for Rabbit. And they waited, and waited, and waited. And all the while, Pooh's thoughts kept returning to his honey pots at home.
Piglet: W-w-what was that, Pooh?
Pooh: My tummy rumble. Now then, come on. Let's go home.
Piglet: But, Pooh, do you know the way?
Pooh: No, Piglet, but there are 12 pot of honey in my cupboard, and they have been calling to my tummy.
Piglet: They have?
Pooh: Yes, Piglet. I couldn't hear them before, because Rabbit would talk. I think I know where they're calling from, so come on. We'll just follow my tummy.
Narrator: Well, they walked off together, and for a long time Piglet said nothing, so as not to interrupt Pooh's honey pots. And sure enough, as the mist got thinner, and just when Piglet began to know where he was...
Pooh and Piglet: Ooof!
Tigger: Hey, hello there, you two blokes! Where have you been? Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Pooh: We've been trying to find our way back home.
Piglet: Pooh, I don't think Rabbit's splendid idea worked.
Tigger: Say, where is old long ears, anyway?
Pooh: He must still be missing in the mist.
Tigger: Well, leave it to me! I'll bounce him outta there! T-T-F-N! Ta ta for now! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Narrator: Meanwhile, Rabbit was still wandering around in the mist. By now, he was lost and bewildered. And to make matters worse, his mind was beginning to play tricks on him.
Rabbit: What's that? Pooh? Piglet? (screams) Help! Ooof!
Tigger: Hello, Rabbit!
Rabbit: Tigger! But-but-but you're supposed to be lost!
Tigger: Oh, ha! Tiggers never get lost, bunny boy!
Rabbit: Never...get...lost...
Tigger: Of course not.
Rabbit: Oh, no.
Tigger: Now come on, Rabbit! Let's go home! Hang on! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Rabbit: (screams)
Narrator: So they started back, and Rabbit was now a humiliated Rabbit, a lost and found Rabbit, an "Oh why, oh why do these things happen to me" Rabbit. And now we come to the next chapter in which the first snowfall had covered the Hundred Acre Wood. And in which Tigger learns that even bouncing can be overdone. On this day, Roo was waiting for Tigger to take him out to play.
Roo: Mama, when is Tigger gonna get here?
Kanga: Be patient, dear, he'll be here.
Tigger: Well, here I am! Did I surprise you, Roo?
Roo: You sure did! I like surprises!
Tigger: Hello, Mrs. Kanga, ma'am.
Kanga: Why, hello, Tigger dear!
Tigger: Ha ha ha, she called me "dear." Roo, are you ready for some bouncing?
Roo: Yeah! You and me are good bouncers!
Kanga: Just a moment, dear. Hold still! Goodness, you're bouncy today!
Roo: That's what roos do the best-est!
Kanga: Now keep your scarf on!
Roo: Not so tight, Mama!
Kanga: Is your sweater warm enough?
Roo: Yes, mother.
Tigger: Well, come on, Roo! Let's go!
Kanga: Tigger, have Roo home in time for his nap! And be careful!
Tigger: Don't worry, Mrs. Kanga! I'll take care of the little nipper! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Roo: Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Rabbit: (humming) Ah, what a perfect day! Peace and quiet, and thank goodness, no Tigger.
Tigger: Say, look, look, look! If it isn't old long ears!
Roo: Can Tiggers ice skate as fancy as Mr. Rabbit?
Tigger: Can Tiggers ice skate? Why, that's why Tiggers do the best! Hoo-hoo-hoo! Wheee! Say, this is a cinch! Wheee! Ooooh!
Rabbit: Oh, no! Not him!
Tigger: Uh oh, look out! I can't-watch out!
Rabbit: It can't be!
Tigger: Out of my way! Look out-I can't-Whoa!
Rabbit: Oh, why does it always have to be me? Why, oh why, oh, why?
Roo: Tigger, Tigger, are you all right?
Tigger: Ptooey! Yuck! Tiggers don't like ice skating!
Narrator: So Tigger and Roo went farther into the Hundred Acre Wood looking for something that Tiggers do best.
Roo: I bet you can climb trees, huh Tigger?
Tigger: Climb trees? Hoo-hoo-hoo! That's what Tiggers do best! Only Tiggers don't climb trees; they bounce 'em! Come on, let's go! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! I almost bounced clear out of the book! Some bouncing, huh? (gasps) Say, how did this tree get so high? Hey! H-h-hey! Hey! What's happening now?!
Roo: Don't swing on a string It's much too frail The best kind of swing Is a tigger's tail Wheee!
Tigger: S-s-stop that, kid! Please! S-T-O-P, stop! You're rocking the forest!
Roo: What's the matter, Tigger?
Tigger: Whew! Oh, thank goodness. I was just getting "see-sick" from seeing too much...
Narrator: Well, we'll just have to leave Tigger up in the treetop for a little while, because, at the bottom of the next page, Pooh is having a problem of his own.
Piglet: What are you doing, Pooh?
Pooh: Shhh! Tracking something.
Piglet: Tracking what?
Pooh: Well, that's what I asked myself, Piglet, "what"?
Piglet: And what do you think you'll answer yourself?
Pooh: I shall have to wait until I catch up with it.
Piglet: Pooh, for a bear of very little brain, you sure are a smart one!
Pooh: Thank you, Piglet. Ah-ha-ha!
Piglet: Oh! N-n-now w-w-what?
Pooh: A very mysterious thing, Piglet. A whole new set of tracks! See?
Narrator: And so it seemed to be. There were the tracks joining each other, here, getting mixed up with each other, there. But to Pooh, quite plainly, four sets of paw marks.
Pooh: Piglet, whatever it was that made these tracks, has now been joined by a whatever-it-is.
Piglet: Y-y-yes, and all of them are proceeding in company.
Pooh: Piglet, I wasn't exactly expecting company.
Piglet: N-n-neither was I, Pooh.
Narrator: So they went on, feeling a little anxious, now, in case the animals in front of them were of hostile intent.
Tigger: Hellooo!
Pooh and Piglet: (both gasp)
Pooh: Look, look, Piglet! There's something in that tree over there!
Piglet: Is it one of the fiercer animals?
Tigger: Hellooo!
Pooh: Yes, it's a jagular.
Piglet: W-w-what do jagulars d-d-do, Pooh?
Pooh: Well, jagulars always call "Hellooo" and when you look up, they drop on you.
Piglet: I'm looking down, P-p-pooh!
Tigger: Hellooo!
Roo: Hey, Tigger, it's Pooh and Piglet! Pooh! Piglet!
Pooh: Why, it's only Tigger and Roo! Come on! Hello, Roo! What are you and Tigger doing up there?
Roo: I'm all right, but Tigger's stuck.
Tigger: Help, somebody, please! Get Christopher Robin!
Narrator: But it wasn't too long before word got back to Christopher Robin and the others that Tigger was in trouble.
Christopher Robin: Hello, Pooh. Hello, Piglet. What's up?
Pooh: Tigger and Roo are up.
Kanga: Oh my goodness! Roo, how did you get way up there?
Roo: Easy, Mama! We bounced up!
Kanga: Oh, gracious! Do be careful, dear!
Roo: I'm all right, Mama, but Tigger's stuck.
Kanga: Oh, what a shame. That's too bad.
Rabbit: No, that's good! You see, he can't bounce anybody up there.
Christopher Robin: Oh, dear! We'll just have to get him down, somehow.
Rabbit: Down?! Down?! Do we have to?
Christopher Robin: Come on, everyone! Let's hold the corner of my coat! You're first, Roo. Jump!
Kanga: Try not to fall too fast, dear!
Roo: Wheee!
Kanga: Oh, thank goodness!
Roo: Gee, that was fun! Come on, Tigger. It's doesn't hurt. Jump!
Christopher Robin: You're next, Tigger. Jump!
Tigger: Jump?! Tiggers don't jump; they bounce!
Pooh: Then bounce down.
Tigger: Don't be ri-dic-cour-ous! Tiggers only bounce up!
Christopher Robin: You can climb down, Tigger!
Tigger: Uh, but tiggers can't climb down, uh, uh, because, uh, their tails get in the way!
Rabbit: Hooray! That settles it! If he won't jump and he can't climb down, then we'll just have to leave him up there forever!
Tigger: Forever?! Oh, if I ever get out of this, I promise never to bounce again. Never!
Rabbit: I heard that, Tigger! He promised! Did you hear him promise?! I heard him! I heard him! You heard him, didn't you, didn't you?!
Narrator: Well, Tigger, your bouncing really got you into trouble this time.
Tigger: Say, who are you?
Narrator: I'm the narrator.
Tigger: Oh, well, please, for goodness sakes, narrate me down from here!
Narrator: Very well. Now hold on tight! Oooh, oooh, whooo!
Christopher Robin: You can let go, now, Tigger!
Tigger: N-n-n-n-n-never!
Narrator: But, Tigger, look for yourself! You're perfectly safe! What did I tell you, Tigger? Come on, back we go!
Tigger: A-whoo! A-whoo! Oooh! Oh! Good old terra firma! Say, I'm so happy I feel like bouncing!
Rabbit: Uh-uh-uh! Your promised! You promised! Oh. Oh, I did, didn't I? Uh, you meant I-I can't ever bounce again?
Rabbit: Never!
Tigger: Never? N-not even just one teensy, weensy, bounce?
Rabbit: Not even a smidgen of a bounce!
Kanga: Oh, the poor dear. Oh, that's too bad.
Roo: Christopher Robin, I like the old bouncy Tigger best.
Christopher Robin: So do I, Roo.
Piglet: I do, too.
Roo: Me, too!
Kanga: Of course, we all do. Don't you agree, Rabbit?
Rabbit: I-I-
Christopher Robin: Well, Rabbit?
Rabbit: Well, I-I-That is, uh-Uh, what I mean-
Pooh: Well?
Rabbit: Uh, I-I-Oh, all right. I guess I like the old Tigger better, too. Ooof!
Tigger: Oh, boy! You mean, I can have my bounce back?! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Come on, Rabbit! Let's you and me bounce!
Rabbit: Good heavens! M-Me bounce?!
Tigger: Why, certainly! Look, you've got the feet for it!
Rabbit: I have?
Tigger: Sure! Come on; try it! It makes you feel just grrreat!
Rabbit: Well, say, it does, doesn't it? Come on, everybody! Bounce!
Tigger: Come on, bounce! Hoo-hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
The Wonderful thing about tiggers Is tiggers are wonderful things Their tops are made out of the rubber Their bottoms are made out of springs They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun But the most wonderful thing about tiggers Is I'm the only one I'm the only one! Grrr!
Mr. Narrator: Now the Hundred Acre Wood boasted many natural wonders, but none was more beautiful than a tiny stream running through the forest. This particular stream had a very long way to travel and by the time it reached the edge of the forest, it had grown up so it was almost a river. "Being grown up," it said to itself, "there is no hurry. We shall get there someday." Now crossing the river, at its most peaceful spot, was an old wooden bridge. It was a familiar spot to Winnie the Pooh for he would often wander there doing nothing in particular, and thinking nothing in particular. But on the most recent of these excursions, something took his mind off of nothing.
Pooh: Hmmm, this is a very good fur cone, and something ought to rhyme to it. Think, think think...Now, fur cones belong in trees, up high with the buzzing bees. But this one I found down on the ground, freed by a gentle breeeze! Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Oh, bother. I suppose I shall have to find another one.
Mr. Narrator: Pooh had every intention of getting another fur cone, but the river was slipping away so peacefully beneath him, that he began to slip away with it.
Pooh: That's funny. I dropped it on the other side, and it came out on this side. Hmm, I wonder if it would do it again. I wonder which will come out first.
Mr. Narrator: Well, the big one came out first, and the little one came out last, which was what Pooh wanted.
Pooh: I did?
Mr. Narrator: Yes, Pooh, and that was the beginning of a game called Pooh-sticks.
Pooh: Which I invented!
Mr. Narrator: Now, one day, Pooh and Piglet, Rabbit and Roo were all playing Pooh-sticks together-
Pooh: But why call it Pooh-sticks? I thought I started with fur cones.
Mr. Narrator: You did, Pooh, but sticks were easier to man.
Pooh: Oh, yes, now I remember.
Mr. Narrator: Ahem. Now, one day, Pooh and Piglet, Rabbit and Roo were all playing Pooh-sticks together.
Rabbit: All right, now the first stick to pass all the way under the bridge wins. Now on your marks, get set...Roo! We must all start together! Oh dear, now where was I? Oh, yes. On your marks, get set...Go!
Roo: I can see mine! I win, I win!
Piglet: Can you see yours, Pooh?
Pooh: No, I expect my stick's stuck.
Rabbit: (sighs) They always take longer than you think.
Pooh: Oh, I can see yours, Piglet!
Piglet: Mine's the sort of g-g-g-g-grayish one!
Pooh: Yes, that's what I can see! It's coming over to my side.
Roo: Come on, stick! Stick, stick!
Piglet: Are you sure it's moving?
Roo: It's a big gray one! Here it comes! A very big gray-
Rabbit: N-n-no it isn't! It's...it's....
All: ...Eeyore!
Eeyore: Don't pay any attention to me. Nobody ever does.
Rabbit: Eeyore, what are you doing down there?
Eeyore: Give you three guesses Rabbit.
Pooh: Fishing?
Eeyore: Wrong.
Roo: Going for a sail?
Eeyore: Wrong again.
Rabbit: Oh, waiting for somebody to, uh, help you out of the river?
Eeyore: That's right. Give Rabbit the time, and he'll give you the answer.
Roo: He's going round and round!
Eeyore: If I decide to practice the slight movement from right to left or left to right, it's nobody's business but my own.
Piglet: Eeyore, Can we-I mean, how s-s-should we-uh, you think i-if we-
Eeyore: I guess one of those would be just the thing. Thank you, Piglet.
Pooh: I've got an idea, but I don't suppose it's a very good one.
Eeyore: I don't suppose it is.
Rabbit: Uh, go on, Pooh. Let's have it!
Pooh: Well, if we all threw stones and things into the river on one side of Eeyore, the stones will make waves, and the waves will wash into the other side.
Rabbit: Oooh, uh, that's a very good idea! I'm glad we thought of it Pooh-uh, uh, Pooh? Oh, Piglet, Piglet, give Pooh a little more room! Get back in there, Roo! I-I think a little to the left, Pooh. Uh, uh, no, to the right, yes.
Pooh: Eeyore, could you stop turning for a moment because it ruddles me rather.
Eeyore: I like turning, especially round.
Rabbit: Uh, Pooh, when I say "now", you can drop it. Eeyore, when I say "now", Pooh will drop the stone! Are you ready? Uh, uh, 1...uh, uh, 2...now!
Pooh: Oh, dear, I guess it wasn't such a good idea afterall.
Roo: There he is!
Piglet: Oh, Eeyore! You're all w-w-wet!
Eeyore: That happens when you've been in a river a long time, Piglet.
Rabbit: How did you fall in, Eeyore?
Eeyore: I was bounced.
Roo: Did somebody push you?
Eeyore: Somebody bounced me. I was thinking by the side of the river, minding my own business, when I received a loud bounce.
Pooh: But who did it?
Piglet: I expect it was Tigger!
Rabbit: Eeyore, was it...Tigger?
Tigger: Haha! Hello, Rabbit!
Rabbit: Tigger, what happened just now?
Tigger: Uh, just when?
Rabbit: When you bounced Eeyore into the river!
Tigger: Oh, uh, I didn't bounce him!
Eeyore: He bounced me.
Tigger: No, I didn't, really! I, uh, I just had a cough, see, and I happened to be behind Eeyore and I said, uh, and I said, uh-(starts coughing loudly) Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Pooh: It's all right, Piglet.
Eeyore: That's what I call bouncing.
Tigger: I didn't bounce; I coughed!
Eeyore: Bouncing, or coughing, it's all the same.
Tigger: Oh, no it's not!
Roo: Try bouncing me, Tigger!
Tigger: All I did was cough!
Eeyore: You bounced.
Tigger: Coughed!
Eeyore: Bounced.
Tigger: Coughed!
Mr. Narrator: Excuse me, perhaps I can help.
Rabbit: Who said that?
Tigger: It's the narrator!
Mr. Narrator: In order to find out what really happened, we'll simply return to the spot where Eeyore was thinking by the side of the river, up at the top of page 245.
Roo: There's Eeyore!
Rabbit: Shhh! So he did bounce him!
Tigger: Oh, well, it was just a joke! Ooh, some people have no sense of humor!
Rabbit: Tigger is so thoughtless with his bouncing!
Eeyore: Why should Tigger think of me? Nobody else does.
Pooh: Why do you say that, Eeyore?
Mr. Narrator: Without question, something was troubling Eeyore, and while his friends puzzled over his unusual behavior, Eeyore followed the stream back to his gloomy spot which became even gloomier than usual.
Eeyore: Pathetic. Just as I thought, no better from this side. Nobody minds; nobody cares. Pathetic.
Pooh: Eeyore, what's the matter?
Eeyore: What makes you think anything's the matter?
Pooh: You seem so sad.
Eeyore: Why should I be sad? It's my birthday-the happiest day of the year.
Pooh: Your birthday?
Eeyore: Of course. Can't you see all the presents?
Pooh: No…
Eeyore: Can't you see the cake? The candles? The presents?
Pooh: No.
Eeyore: Neither can I.
Pooh: Awww. Well, many happy returns of the day, Eeyore!
Eeyore: Thank you, Pooh, but we can't all, and some of us don't.
Pooh: Can't all what?
Eeyore: No gaiety. No song and dance. No here-we-go-round-the-mulberry-bush. But don't worry about me, Pooh. Go and enjoy yourself. I'll stay here and be miserable with no presents, no cake, no candles…
Pooh: Eeyore, wait right here!
Mr. Narrator: Pooh hurried home as fast as he could, and he should he find in front of his house but-
Pooh: Piglet!
Piglet: Hello, Pooh!
Pooh: What are you trying to do?
Piglet: I'm trying to-oof! That is, I was trying to reach the kn-kn-kn-kn-knocker!
Pooh: Let me do it for you.
Piglet: But Pooh-
Pooh: I found out what's troubling Eeyore. It's his birthday, and nobody has taken any notice of it. And he's very lonely and-Well! Whoever lives here certainly takes a long time answering his door!
Piglet: B-b-b-b-but Pooh! Isn't this your house?
Pooh: Oh! So it is! Well, let's go in! Hmm, I must get poor Eeyore a present of some sort. Ah! Honey! That should do very well! What are you going to give him?
Piglet: Can't I give it, too, from b-b-b-both of us?
Pooh: No, Piglet, that would not be a very good plan.
Piglet: Perhaps I can get Eeyore a balloon!
Pooh: That, Piglet, is a very good idea! Nobody can be uncheered by a balloon!
Piglet: I have one at home! I'll go and get it r-r-right now!
Mr. Narrator: So off Piglet trotted in one direction, and in the other direction went Pooh with his jar of honey. However Pooh hadn't gone very far, when a very funny feeling began to creep over him. It began at the tip of his nose, and trickled all the way down to the soles of his feet as if someone inside him was saying-
Pooh: Now then, Pooh, time for a little something!
Mr. Narrator: So Pooh had a little something. And then he had a little more. And a little more. Until he had taken his last lick from the inside of the jar.
Pooh: Now let me see, where was I going? Oh, yes! Eeyore! I was going to-oh bother! I must give Eeyore something! I think I shall go see my good friend Owl!
Owl: Ooh, that should do it! Perfect spot! Yes, yes, coming! Pooh! To what do I owe this?
Pooh: Many happy returns of Eeyore's birthday, Owl!
Owl: Oh, is that what it was? Well come in, Pooh! Come in! You know, that reminds me of the birthday of my great uncle Robert, a portrait of whom you see upon the wall on your right. He had just reached the ripe old age of one hundred and three, although of course he'd only admit to ninety-seven. We all felt a celebration was in order. So, while Uncle Robert was returningin the late forenoon from the-
Pooh: What are you giving him, Owl?
Owl: Uh, giving who, Pooh?
Pooh: Eeyore.
Owl: Oh! Eeyore! Hehe, yes, I uh-what are you giving him, Pooh?
Pooh: I'm giving him this useful pot to keep things in! And I wanted to ask you-
Owl: A useful pot? Hmm. Evidently, someone has been keeping honey in it.
Pooh: You can keep anything in it; it's very useful like that, and I wanted to ask you-
Owl: Ooh, you'll want to write "Happy Birthday" on it!
Pooh: That was what I wanted to ask you. My spelling is wobbly.
Owl: Hmm. Very well, then. Ahem, if you please? It's easier if people don't look when I'm writing. There! All finished! What do you think of it? I kept it simple just saying "Happy Birthday."
Pooh: It seems like a lot of words…
Owl: Yes, well, um, actually uh, of course I, uh, uh, I wrote "A very happy birthday with love from Pooh." Naturally, it takes a good deal of words to say a long thing like that!
Pooh: Oh, I see! Well, thank you, Owl! Eeyore will be most pleased!
Owl: Oh, I do hope so! Ooh, this is so exciting! I'll fly directly over to Christopher Robin's to tell him the news! Many happy returns of Eeyore's birthday, Piglet!
Piglet: Ooh, and many happy returns to you, too, Owl! Ooh…Oh dear! Oh dearie d-d-dear dear! What shall I-Who shall I-Well, perhaps Eeyore doesn't like balloons so very much…Good afternoon, Eeyore!
Eeyore: Good afternoon, Piglet. If it is a good afternoon, which I doubt.
Piglet: Many happy returns of the d-d-d-day!
Eeyore: Meaning my birthday.
Piglet: Yes, Eeyore, and I-I brought you a present.
Eeyore: Pardon me, Piglet, my hearing must be going. I thought you said you brought me a present.
Piglet: Yes! I brought you a b-b-b-b-balloon!
Eeyore: Balloon? Did you say balloon?
Piglet: Yes, but I'm afraid-oh, I'm very sorry-but when I was running-that is, uh, to bring it-I fell down and uh….
Eeyore: My balloon? My birthday balloon? Red-my favorite color. How big was it?
Piglet: How about as big as m-m-m-me.
Eeyore: My favorite size.
Pooh: Many happy returns of the day, Eeyore! I brought you a little present. It's a useful pot, and it's got "A very happy birthday with love from Pooh" written on it, and it's for putting things in.
Eeyore: Like a balloon?
Pooh: Oh, no, Eeyore! Balloons are much too big to go into a-So it does! Eeyore, I'm very glad that I thought of giving you a useful pot to put things in.
Piglet: And I'm very glad I thought of giving you something to put in a useful p-p-p-pot!
Christopher Robin: Many happy returns, Eeyore!
All: Hooray!
Owl: Ooh, bravo! Bravo! Good show! This reminds me of the party we once gave my great uncle Robert. He had just reached the ripe old age of one hundred and three though, of course, he'd only admit to ninety-seven. So, we had to instruct the guests to pretend that he-
Tigger: Halloo!
Rabbit: Oh no! Oh no! Not Tigger!
Roo: Hello, Tigger! We're having a party!
Tigger: A party?! (chuckles) Oh boy! A party! Tiggers love parties! Oh, and cake! Mmm, mmm! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Mr. Narrator: Meanwhile Rabbit glared at Tigger.
Rabbit: D'oh you've got a lot of nerve showing up here after what you did to Eeyore! Hmph W-well, I think Tigger should leave!
Roo: Aww, let him stay!
Pooh: What do you think, Christopher Robin?
Christopher Robin: I think…I think we all ought to…play Pooh-sticks!
Tigger: Pooh-sticks?! Oh boy! (chuckles) That's what Tiggers do best!
Mr. Narrator: So they gathered on the old wooden bridge and played the game for many contented hours. And Eeyore, who had never played it before, won more times than anyone else. But poor Tigger won none at all.
Tigger: Grr! Tiggers don't like Pooh-sticks!
Roo: Let's play again!
Kanga: We must go home, now, dear; it's past your bedtime!
Roo: Gee, do we have to? (yawns) I'm not tired!
Kanga: Come along!
Rabbit: (yawns) I think we should all be going.
Owl: Yes, quite right! Congratulations, Eeyore! It's been a delightful party!
Eeyore: Thank you, Owl. Tigger, I'd be happy to tell you my secret for winning at Pooh-sticks.
Tigger: Uh, you would?
Eeyore: It's very easy; you just have to let your stick drop in a twitchy sort of way.
Tigger: Oh yeah, I forgot the twitch, that was my problem! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Eeyore: Bounced again.
Piglet: Tigger's all right, really.
Christopher Robin: Of course he is.
Pooh: Everyone is, really. That's what I think, though I don't suppose I'm right.
Christopher Robin: Of course you are, silly old bear!
Mr. Narrator: And so, we come to the last chapter, in which Christopher Robin and Pooh come to the enchanted place and we say goodbye.
Pooh: Goodbye? Oh, no, please, can't we go back to page one and do it all over again?
Mr. Narrator: Sorry, Pooh, but all stories have an ending you know.
Pooh: Oh, bother.
Mr. Narrator: Yes, the time had come at last. For you see Christopher Robin was going away to school. Nobody else in the forest knew exactly why or where he was going. All they knew was it had something to do with twice times, and how to make things called A-B-C's, and where a place called Brazil is.
Christopher Robin: Pooh?
Pooh: Huh?
Christopher Robin: What do you like doing best in the world?
Pooh: What I like best is me and Piglet going to visit you and you saying, "How about a smackerel of honey?" and Me saying, 'Well, I shouldn't mind a little something, should you, Piglet?,' and it being a hummy sort of day outside, and the birds singing."
Christopher Robin: I like that, too, but what I like best is just doing nothing.
Pooh: How do you do just nothing?
Christopher Robin: Well, it's when grownups ask, "What are you going to do?" and you say "Nothing." Then you go out and do it.
Pooh: I like that; let's do it all the time!
Christopher Robin: You know something, Pooh? I am not going to do just nothing anymore.
Pooh: You mean, never again?
Christopher Robin: Well, not so much they don't let you. Pooh,
Pooh: Yes Christopher Robin?
Christopher Robin: When I'm away just doing nothing, will you come up here sometimes?
Pooh: You mean alone? Just me?
Christopher Robin: Yes. And Pooh? Promise you won't forget me, ever?
Pooh: Oh, I won't, Christopher, I promise!
Christopher Robin: Not even when I'm a hundred?
Pooh: How old shall I be then?
Christopher Robin: Ninety-nine, silly old bear.
Narrator: So they went off together but wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on top of the forest, a little boy and his bear will always be playing and waiting!.