Lost Royalty

Lost Royalty is the thirty-first episode and the thirteenth episode of Season Two in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
When Fancyland somehow manages to run out of money, SpongeBob and Squidward try to find out what happened to it all.
==Synopsis==
Squidward is seen at Paris, France near the Eiffel Tower.
“Ah, what a wonderful day in Paris,” he says. “Simulated Paris.”
Squidward grabs a remote, presses a button on it, and the room is revealed to be a big green screen.
“Oh the power of the green screen, you’re even more powerful than I imagined.”
Squidward then presses another button on the remote to turn the room into underwater.
“Wait, aren’t we already underwater? Never mind.”
Squidward lays down on a fake anemone and tries to take a snooze. Just then, he hears the sound of his neighbors freaking out.
“Whatever could it be this time?” he says, getting up. “Last time it was over a jar of seanut brittle.”
Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick outside, running around in circles and screaming like apes.
“Man, playing King of the Jungle sure is fun!” SpongeBob says.
“Eee-ooh-aah-aah- I mean yeah it is!” Patrick says.
Squidward opens up his left top window, and says, “Can you two barnacle heads stop being monkeys and settle down?!”
“Why should we stop being monkeys?” Patrick asks. “It’s fun, you should try it!”
“The day I join you nincompoops in your useless child play is the day I go broke, and we all know that'll never happen.”
SpongeBob’s phone vibrates in his pocket, and he picks it up and sees a notification.
“‘BREAKING NEWS: Fancyland gone broke!’? Well, looks like Squidward will play with us after all- G-G-GONE BROKE?!” SpongeBob’s face literally turns white and starts trembling.
Squidward laughs. “You look like a low budget Casper the ghost! But on a more serious note, are we actually out of money?”
“It says here that somehow all of the unlimited money has been stolen,” SpongeBob says.
“How can you steal ALL of an unlimited money supply? That's physically impossible,” Squidward says.
“Squidward, everything around here is physically impossible. Just watch me!” 
SpongeBob then turns inside out, making Patrick and Squidward cringe, and then turns back to normal.
“Remind me to bleach my eyes when I get back inside,” Squidward says, rubbing his eyes.
Suddenly, Fred comes out of nowhere with an injured leg.
“MY LEG!” he screams. “AND I HAVE NO HEALTH INSURANCE!”
“So are the Fancyland gone broke rumors actually true?” Squidward asks Fred.
“Yeah, definitely,” Fred answers. “And you know how healthcare around these parts is if you don't have the riches.”
“Whenever I'm injured I just have SpongeBob tickle my belly,” Patrick remarks. “It always helps.”
“That might work on a starfish or a sea bear, but I need genuine medical care,” Fred says. “This is the most my leg has been injured since 1999!”
“Now why does that year sound familiar?” SpongeBob says.
“Say, where’s the money vault or whatever that Fancyland uses?” Squidward asks.
“Oh, you take a right, then a left, then a right, then a left, then another left, then turn backwards, then you’re there,” Fred explains.
“Riiiiiiight.” Squidward’s pupils start spinning inside his eyeballs.
“I got it all on my phone, Squidward,” SpongeBob says. “We can be mystery mates!”
“Yeah no,” Squidward says. “I wanna do this mystery on my own. Besides, my wealth depends on it.”
“ALL our wealth depends on it, dude,” Fred says. “Well anyway, good luck on your journey or whatever. I’m gonna try to raise enough money to get MY LEG fixed up.”
Fred leaves, limping, and SpongeBob and Squidward look at each other.
Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Squidward riding a limo.
“Wait, does this mean we have to pay the limo driver now?” Squidward asks.
“Yes,” the limo driver says. “Pay up, sir, or I’m kicking the both of you out.”
“We’re all broke, sir,” Squidward says.
SpongeBob and Squidward are kicked out of the limo, and the limo driver speeds away.
“I’m actually a truck driver in disguise,” the limo driver says, laughing as he drives off-screen.
“Well, we have no transportation. The limo was just a last resort,” SpongeBob says. “Luckily we still know the directions.” He pulls out his phone, which is showing the directions Fred mentioned. “Let’s see here…”
SpongeBob starts turning his body around in several directions, and eventually starts spinning in circles. Squidward grabs onto him to stop him from spinning.
“Aw man, I was just getting into the vibe of it,” SpongeBob said. “Oh well, there’s always Fancyworld.”
“Quit goofing around, GoofBob. We have a mystery to solve. Now, do we go left or right from here?”
“Left. No, right. No, left. No, right!”
“Neptune, we’re doomed…”
“Actually, I have another idea that might work.” SpongeBob starts up the internet app, only for it to say “access denied”.
“Access denied?” Squidward says. “Oh great, not only are we out of money, we're out of internet. How are we gonna find the vault now?”
“The traditional way, Squidward. Just follow my groove.” SpongeBob starts doing a hula dance, and Squidward reluctantly follows. Slowly but surely, they dance towards Fancyland’s vault. Eventually, they reach it, and they both bump into the side of the building.
“We’re here,” Squidward says. “Yay. I think I have brain damage.”
Cut to Mr. Krabs, who is currently laying his head down on his office desk.
“No money… no restaurant! I can’t live like this. I need to find a solution before they close me down,” he says.
Just then, he hears a big bulldozer outside, and Krabs soon feels the entire building being moved. 
“Guess that’s already happenin’...”
Krabs sighs and walks outside to see what’s going on.
“What the barnacles are ya doing to me restaurant?!” Krabs demands.
“Sorry, but you haven’t exactly been paying rent or anything, so we need to shut you down,” the bulldozer guy says.
“What? I’ve been paying rent for years, this is blasphemy!”
“Sorry bud, that’s just what the government told me to do. I just do my job.”
“Well ya could’ve done something that isn’t… I dunno… pushing me entire place!”
“I really don’t know what I can tell you, man. You wouldn’t budge when we brought out the megaphone.”
Flashback to the bulldozer guy using a megaphone to make an announcement in front of the Krusty Krab.
“ATTENTION EUGENE KRABS, YOUR ESTABLISHMENT WILL NOW BE CLOSED DOWN. I REPEAT, YOUR ESTABLISHMENT WILL NOW BE CLOSED DOWN,” he announces.
Mr. Krabs is seen bathing in liquid gold, listening to rap music through his AirPods.
“I really got them big racks, I tell ya,” he says.
Cut back to the present, where Mr. Krabs is begging on his knees to keep the Krusty Krab open.
“Sorry bud, but you don’t mess with the government. Doctor’s orders,” the bulldozer guy says.
“What if I give you a Krusty Krab coupon?”
Cut to Mr. Krabs in hobo clothing on the streets, depressed.
“Well, Eugene, you really outdid yourself this time. Gotta say though, that bulldozer felt good on me bum.”
He then hears a “Psst!” faintly in the distance.
“Is that a sign of hope I hear?” Krabs says. He then walks over to where the sound was made and sees a shady figure.
“Ah, another one has made it alive,” the figure says.
“Alive?” Krabs asks, scared.
“Yes, many have died from this quest.”
“Quest?”
“Indeed. If you are willing to take it, there is money in store for you.”
“MONEY? Sign me up! What is this quest you speak of?”
Cut to Krabs standing in front of a volcano. He looks frightened.
“Dear Neptune, do I really have to do this?” he asks himself.
A tiny devil and angel appear on each of his shoulders.
“Do it for the money,” the devil says. “This is your chance!”
“Don't do it, idiot,” the angel says. “You'll probably die!”
“Death? I love the sweet smell of death!” the devil says evilly.
“Oh, I don't wanna die… but you can't argue with money.” Krabs pulls out some bath salts from his pocket and drops it into the volcano. The volcano starts rumbling intensely, and Krabs starts running away. Krabs escapes the volcanic area and watches as the volcano does absolutely nothing. The shady figure from earlier is slapping his knee with laughter.
“You really fell for that?!” he says, wheezing. “I love tricking people into putting my junk into that volcano. One of these days someone will actually die from doing it. Sadly, you lived.”
“So where's my money?” Krabs asks.
The shady figure wheezes harder and starts laughing on the floor. Krabs sighs and moves on.
“Please let this nightmare end…” he says to himself.
Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Squidward are still in front of the entrance to the vault. Squidward reluctantly opens the double doors, and a shimmering effect blinds the duo. After the shimmering is gone, the two literally take their eyes out, wipe them clean with their hands, and put them back on.
“Well, time to go searching,” SpongeBob says. He promptly enters the building, with Squidward following behind.
SpongeBob and Squidward instantly see that there is no gold or any treasure to be found.
“It’s gone,” Squidward says. “All gone…”
“This is a job for Sponge and Squid Detectives!” SpongeBob says triumphantly.
“No.”
“Well then, what are we gonna be called?”
“People?”
“That works, I guess. Not very flashy though.”
“Let’s just get going. (points to the left) You go that way, (points to the right) I’ll go this way.”
“Alrighty.”
Squidward starts searching on the right side of the vault, and SpongeBob starts searching on the left side of the vault. SpongeBob uses a magnifying glass to look at every nook and cranny of his side, and Squidward looks around normally while scratching his head.
“Does this place have security at all?” Squidward asks.
“There’s literally one above our heads,” SpongeBob responds, and points to a ceiling security camera with an eye that blinks at them.
“Eugh. Maybe TOO much security,” Squidward responds, shuddering.
SpongeBob keeps searching every nook and cranny, and eventually finds a shoe.
“Look, Squidward! A shoe!”
“You mean a clue?”
“Same difference in this case.”
Squidward walks over toward SpongeBob and investigates the shoe. He picks up the shoe and catches an appalling odor.
“Blech!” Squidward says, gagging. “Smells like my uncle Richard.”
Squidward then sees footprints.
“Maybe this will lead us to the culprit,” SpongeBob says.
“Hopefully it does,” Squidward says.
The duo follow the footprints, leading to a staircase.
“Wow, there’s a second floor?” Squidward says. “How in the world did this guy steal multiple floors of gold in one go?”
“Who said it’s all gold? There could be Krabby Patties in there,” SpongeBob says. “They’re also extremely valuable.”
“Yeah, a whopping one dollar a piece. Let’s keep moving.”
The duo walk up the stairs for a considerably long amount of time, eventually going slower and getting more sweaty over time. They finally get up to the final floor, and they both lay down from exhaustion.
“That was exhausting,” SpongeBob says.
“Yeah, even more than you,” Squidward remarks.
“What?”
“Never mind. Wait, what’s that?” Squidward stands up and sees a lost wallet.
“A wallet. Does it have a drivers’ license by any chance?” SpongeBob asks.
“Nice try, SpongeBlob. However it does have a name on it: Doug.”
“Do we even have any Dougs around here?”
“Only one way to find out.”
Cut to Zee French Scientist in his lab, which looks even more run-down than usual. 
“Ugh, zis is a travesty,” he says to himself. “With no funds, I can’t run zis experiment!”
A sea monkey is seen in a run-down cage, making sea monkey noises.
“Who knew zese creatures could be so… wild?” ZFS says.
The sea monkey starts clawing at the cage.
“No, no, no, don’t do zat!” ZFS struggles to keep the monkey in the cage, but the monkey wins the fight and jumps right out of the cage.
“Oh, I’m doomed. No monkey means no research. And no research means no job! Time to start calling my brother…”
The monkey then spots something large and brown in ZFS’ pocket, and quickly pickpockets him while hopping away.
“Hey! I stole that from- I mean borrowed- from someone!” ZFS yells, but it’s no use.
The monkey spots a huge building in the distance. The monkey stares in awe for a moment, and then starts hopping towards the building.
Meanwhile, SpongeBob is still searching around for “Doug”.
“Doug? Anyone got a Doug around here?”
“I do!” an old lady says. She points to her worm, which barks on cue.
“Not a dog, a Doug!” SpongeBob says, disappointed.
The worm then sniffs SpongeBob’s hand and gnaws it off. SpongeBob screams, and his hand promptly grows back afterwards.
SpongeBob then hears a distant screech of an animal.
“Must be some kind of monkey,” he says.
“Oh, puh-lease, SpongeDope, there are no monkeys in a fancy place such as this,” Squidward says.
The sea monkey from earlier hops right in front of the duo. Squidward rubs his eyes in shock.
“Filthy animals…”
“Don’t say that, Squidward. All animals are beautiful in their own way,” SpongeBob says. “Hey, wait a second. What’s that in your hand, little guy?”
SpongeBob takes the wallet out of the monkey’s hand. The monkey just stares at him.
“Alright, enough of Mr. Nice Sponge. Where did you get this wallet from?” he demands.
“Uh, SpongeBob, I hate to tell you but you’re talking to a MONKEY!” Squidward yells.
“Okay, jeez, no need to yell, Squidward. I’ll ask nicely. Will you pwease tell us where you got dis fwom?” SpongeBob then blinks his eyes in a girly fashion. The monkey says nothing.
“Well, we tried. C’mon, SpongeBob, let’s do something more productive,” Squidward says, dragging SpongeBob by the collar.
Cut to the duo outside the building.
“Hey, we haven’t checked out the exterior of the building yet,” SpongeBob says. “How about we do that?”
“For once that’s actually a good idea,” Squidward remarks. “You go (points left) that way, and I’ll go (points right) that way.”
“Sounds good to me, Squidturd.”
Squidward grumbles under his breath as they split up.
On SpongeBob’s side, he looks at every board on the wall, looking for clues.
“Hmm…” SpongeBob then tastes the wall. “The wall here is made out of gold. Good ol’ Au. Au is short for Australia, and Australia is known for being upside down, and… I got it! The criminal must be from Australia! Squidward! I know where the criminal is from!”
SpongeBob runs over to the other side of the building where Squidward is at. Squidward is pondering over a dent in the wall as SpongeBob runs over to him, with the latter bumping straight into him.
“Barnacles, SpongeBob, what the heck are you doing?” Squidward demands. “I was training my lost of thought. I mean… train of thought!”
“The criminal is from Australia, Squidward!” SpongeBob says.
“Where in the world did you get that from?”
“Well, the wall here is made out of gold, gold is Au, and Au is short for-”
Before SpongeBob can finish his sentence, Squidward shoves his tentacle up his mouth.
“Sorry to tell you Squidward but I didn’t clean myself this morning,” SpongeBob says, and Squidward instantly takes his tentacle out and wipes it on the sandy ground below him.
“You’re a dunce, SpongeBob, you’re a grade a dunce,” Squidward says bluntly.
“Aww, thanks!”
“That wasn’t a compliment.”
“Aww, no thanks!”
“Anyways… I think I found an actual clue. Look over here. There’s a dent in the wall.” The duo take a closer look at the dent in the wall, and Squidward puts his tentacle in.
“Now if only… I can get deeper…” Squidward pushes his tentacle further into the dent.
SpongeBob laughs. “That’s what she said.”
“Enough with your non-PG jokes, squat for brains.”
Squidward’s tentacle eventually breaks through the dent, and a hole is created in the wall.
“Score!” Squidward yells.
“That’s 1 point for us, no points for the criminal,” SpongeBob says.
Squidward pries open the wall by extending the wall with his tentacles, and they both walk inside the now opened room. The room is mostly run-down, except for a journal placed on a table against a wall. Squidward opens it and starts flipping through the pages.
“Whoa whoa, Squidward, slow down,” SpongeBob says.
“There’s gotta be something important in here…” Squidward says.
SpongeBob puts his hand on the book to stop Squidward from flipping.
“Hey!”
The book is shown to be stopped at a page where a phone number is listed.
“Look, a phone number,” SpongeBob points out.
“What kind of lunatic would leave personal information out like this?” Squidward says.
“An idiotic lunatic, probably,” SpongeBob responds.
“You’re one to talk,” Squidward mutters, who then flips to another page.
“Hold on… the name Doug is here too!” SpongeBob says. “Who is this Doug?”
Squidward flips to another page, which has all of “Doug”’s personal information on it.
“What kind of dunderhead would leave their home address lying around like that?” Squidward says.
“I remember when Patrick did that once. Someone stole his favorite rock and he was sad for a month.”
“Either way, we’ve hit the jackpot! We know where this guy lives now,” Squidward says excitedly.
“How do you know he’s at home, though?”
“Only one way to find out.”
Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Squidward looking everywhere for street signs.
“According to the journal, this guy lives on 169 Screwnut St.” Squidward notes. “So far we’ve seen no street signs in sight.
“Oh, there’s a street sign!” SpongeBob says. He points to a stop sign.
“Not a stop sign, you dimwit, a sign that shows what street we’re on!” Squidward says, annoyed.
“I think we better stop, Squidward, there’s a stop sign.”
“Your brain has the capacity of a Krabby Patty sometimes.”
“Hey, you can fit a lot of things in a Krabby Patty!”
Squidward grumbles as he sees a diamond-plated car speed by.
“Hey, that guy was speeding!” SpongeBob yells.
“Forget about the law, SpongeBob, I think we’re in… that part of town.”
“The showy-offy part of town?”
“I’d use more colorful words but yeah.”
“Let’s see what’s up around this corner,” SpongeBob says.
The duo go around the corner, and see some significantly large mansions up ahead.
“Wow, and I thought my house was big,” Squidward says in awe.
“Size doesn’t matter, Squidward, you know that.”
Squidward touches his nose. “True…”
“Which one do you think is the one the criminal lives in?”
“Whichever one seems the most shady I suppose.”
“They’re all shiny, no shadiness in sight.”
They then notice a mansion that’s bigger than all of the other ones. SpongeBob walks over to it and starts putting on a thinking face. Squidward hesitantly follows him.
“SpongeBob, I doubt this is the right mansion,” Squidward says.
“Sure it is! All the lights are off, if that’s one thing.”
“Lights off just mean nobody’s home, you dolt.”
“You don’t know if anybody’s home or not. As my great grandpa SquarePants always said…”
(A thought balloon appears over SpongeBob’s head with great grandpa SquarePants talking in it)
“You’ll never catch a jellyfish unless you actually try it.”
(The thought balloon disappears, but not before great grandpa SquarePants hops out of the balloon and runs away)
“We’ll deal with him later,” SpongeBob says casually. “Let’s go get that war criminal!”
“War criminal…?”
“Just kidding, Squidward. But you never know if it is one.”
The two approach the mansion doors, and see that there is a fingerprint scanner to open the door.
“Don’t worry, this always does the trick,” SpongeBob says. He rips a corner piece of himself off, and uses it to pry the doors open.
“Wha…..?”
“C’mon, silly, it’s crime o’clock!” SpongeBob pulls Squidward along.
The mansion is massive, with crowned jewels around every corner. Every single stair is made out of some sort of expensive mineral. Squidward is literally frozen in place.
“Uh oh, I think someone just got brain freeze,” SpongeBob says, and he taps Squidward on the shoulder to get him to snap out of the trance.
“Don’t ever tap on my shoulder again, idiot,” Squidward says.
“Sorry, that’s just the only way I can get you out of it.”
“Out of what?”
“Never mind, let’s just keep movi-”
Suddenly, the duo hear fancy walking in the distance.
“How did you know that was fancy walking?” Squidward whispers.
“I didn’t…” SpongeBob whispers back.
A silhouette of an average-sized person slowly starts walking towards the two of them.
“Okay, on the count of three, let’s attack,” Squidward says.
“Good thinking. I know karate,” SpongeBob responds.
“One… two… three!”
When the true identity of the criminal is revealed, the two of them do nothing except stare. The criminal is the mayor himself.
“So that’s who Doug is…” SpongeBob whispers.
“Oh silly me, I forgot to update the fingerprint security,” the mayor says. “How about we pretend this never happened, hmm? I’ll give you a thousand of my jewels for you to keep hush about all this.”
“All hush about what?” Squidward demands.
“Oh, you know at this point. It’s all over the news. And yes, I am responsible for it. Frankly Fancyland needs a bit of a change. For the past fifty or so years, nobody needed currency. All they needed was jewels. Well, I remembered just how GREAT capitalism is, so I decided to take all of the money from the vault…”
As the mayor keeps speaking, Squidward whispers to SpongeBob, “Do something!”
“I’m on it.”
SpongeBob picks up a jewel from a nearby vase, and throws it directly at the mayor’s face. The jewel visibly deforms the mayor’s face, and he angrily picks it back up.
“So, a fight, huh? You’re. On.”
“SpongeBob, I blame you for whatever’s about to happen next,” Squidward says.
Crazy fight music plays as the three of them constantly throw jewels at each other, ranging from small to abnormally large. At one point, a jewel gets caught on SpongeBob’s nose and almost suffocates him.
“Good thing I have a backup plan,” the mayor says as he smiles like the Grinch.
He walks over to a set of buttons near a light switch, and presses a tiny button underneath one of the light switches. A giant net slowly falls down onto the middle of the room. SpongeBob and Squidward panic, and some claws automatically grab them tightly. The mayor cackles.
“You really thought you’d solve the whole ‘crisis’, eh?” he taunts. “Well think again!”
SpongeBob literally starts thinking again.
“SpongeBob!” Squidward says.
“Hush, Squidward, I’m thinking,” SpongeBob responds.
“Well make it quick, we’re about to be captured!”
Inside of SpongeBob’s mind, a mini-SpongeBob construction worker is working on a lightbulb.
“No, that’s not where it goes… no, not there either… a-ha!”
The construction worker inserts the lightbulb into a slot inside of SpongeBob’s brain, and SpongeBob gets an idea.
“HEY ALEXA!” SpongeBob yells.
“SpongeBob, what are you-” Squidward gets interrupted by SpongeBob.
“CALL 9-1-1!”
“Okay, calling 9-1-1,” Alexa responds.
Dialing is heard, and the mayor panics. 
“Uhh… kinda forgot I left my Alexa on the counter. Buh-bye!” He then attempts to run, but gets tired after going up a few flights of stairs.
“I knew having stairs would be a nuisance…” The mayor then lies flat on the ground as the police arrive. One of the policemen scans his police badge over the fingerprint scanner, and the doors open. The policemen then enter the building and free Squidward and SpongeBob.
“Thanks, officers. Say, how did you know to call the police like that?” Squidward asks.
“Searching every nook and cranny, Squidward. Every nook and cranny,” SpongeBob answers.
Squidward pulls a “-_-” face as they exit the building with permission from the officers.
Meanwhile upstairs, the mayor is seen arrested.
“Wait, the mayor? I knew this town was full of corruption,” one of the officers says.
“Capitalism has no bounds in terms of corruption, Mark,” one of the other officers says.
“True, true.”
“Please, don’t arrest me! I didn’t even do anything!”
One of the officers yell from downstairs, “Hey, we found all of the town’s missing funds!”
“Barnacles,” the mayor says as he is then promptly arrested and thrown into a police car.
Bubble transition to Squidward and SpongeBob walking back to their houses. They both see eviction notices on their front doors. Squidward nonchalantly rips his off, while SpongeBob nervously does the same.
SpongeBob opens up the door to his golden pineapple and Gary is frantically meowing at him.
“Oh, Gary, it’s wonderful. We got our money back!” SpongeBob says excitedly, picking up Gary.
“Meow meow!”
SpongeBob then notices that the lights are turned off, and he flicks on a light to get them running again.
“Back to status quo, eh, Gare Bear?”
“Meow…”
Cut to the mayor being sent to his jail cell, which is filled with furniture and things to do. He sighs and sits on the golden office chair.
“Prison is gonna be heck…” he mumbles. “At least I’ll only be in here for about a week, then I’ll be free. A week of pain and suffering. This place is nothing compared to my mansion.”
He spots the golden-plated toilet in the corner of the room.
“And there’s no privacy! How am I going to survive?”
(The episode ends)
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