The Ned-liest Catch/Quotes

:Groundskeeper Willie: Me bleachers have been weaponized!
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:Edna: You unrepentant little twerp!
:(She slaps Bart twice in the back. The kids and other teachers are in shock.)
:Elizabeth Hoover: Oh, Edna.
:Edna: It was an open hand. Does that help?
:Seymour Skinner: Edna, we can tolerate mild alcoholism, leaving melted cheese in the microwave, even selling A's for cigarettes. But in laying a hand on a student, you have crossed the line. (To Lunch Lady Doris) Nurse, get a slap kit.
:Lunch Lady Doris: Right away sir.
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:Edna: In all my years of teaching, I've never raised a hand to a student.
:Homer: But, you learned. You grew.
:Marge: No! You should never raise your hand to a child. Just leave the crust of their sandwiches. They'll get the message.
:Superintendent Chalmers: Rest assured, Mrs. Simpson. We have a zero tolerance policy for this sort of thing when it occurs in front of witnesses.
:Edna: What's going to happen to me?
:Chalmers: Edna, you're suspended with full pay until the hearing, which is currently scheduled for 57 years from tomorrow. It was going to be 60 years but I moved it up because I like the way you torment Skinner.
:Edna: Oh. So I still get my check but I get to stay home?
:Seymour Skinner: I'm afraid it's not quite that simple.
:Chalmers: Uh, Seymour, who's running this meeting?
:Homer: (Loud whisper to Marge) I thought I was.
:Chalmers: Edna, until the state disciplinary committee rules on your case, on every work day you'll report to a school board holding facility... an educational limbo as it were, where you are the unbaptized dead baby.
:(Edna groans)
:Skinner: They never seem to like that analogy.
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:Ned: (after catching Edna from her fall) Did a volcano erupt in CandyLand? Because I just caught myself a flyin' red hot!
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:Lenny: Yeah, give me a kiss, Neddy-boy.
:Seymour Skinner: That's right. Kiss all the men who have made their way to Edna's adventurous tongue.
:Comic Book Guy: Including me. I shall be discreet in my tweets, but brutal in my blog.
:Old Mean with Hat: With made love in so many elevators.
:(Edna's face rapidly changes to other faces: Disco Stu, Black person, Bumblebee Man, Professor Frink, Krusty the Clown and Patty Bouvier)
:Patty: Experiment.
:(Ned looks at Springfield citizens on Edna's face and gets surprised)
:Edna: What is it?!
:Ned: (sighing, shocked) I.. I can't do it! Edna, call me Delta Airlines, because I can't handle your extra baggage! (Edna stands there, shocked until her face is replaced by Moe Szyslak)
:Moe: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No leavin' until we all spook ya on Edna's face. (He looks behind him.) Alright, pipe down down there. You'll get yer chance!
:Barney: Oh, come on, Moe! Quit hoggin' her face. (Moe has moved back, revealing Barney Gumble, Kent Brockman, Arnie Pye and many others)
:(Ned screams in terror and runs out the door.)
es:The Ned-Liest Catch/Frases