Softies

Softies are a brand of cupcakes sold by Goodman, and is known for Microsoft Mike liking it and curing the Windows Vista-dirrahea-thingy diesese.
== Description ==
Softies are cupcakes put in cupcake paper and normally topped with frosting. They are known to be one of the most popular dessert choices in Earth 2, due to how good they are, helping to cure the Windows Vista-dirrahea-thingy diesese, and how they taste. They are currently the 3rd best-selling Goodman dessert snack, just before Choco Browns (2nd) and Goodman's Choco Chip Cookies (1st).
== Flavors ==
=== Original ===
* Normal Cupcake
* Chocolate
* Banana
* Lemon
* Sprinkles n' Frosting
* Peanut Butter
=== Limited/requested by person ===
* Marshmallow - A normal cupcake with melted marshmallow inside
* Brownie - A brownie-flavored cupcake
* Rainbow - It's not sprinkled, it's literally rainbow. If eaten, you get high, and sometimes you can get a hint of MLG. 
* The opposite of curing - Gives you Windows Vista-dirrahea-thingy diesese.
* Lean - A cupcake that contains tiny amounts of codeine-promethazine, also known as lean. Taken off the shelves in 2020 after previously being sold in health/drug stores, mainly because of addiction and overdose on the younger crowd.
* Oof - If eaten, it will turn you yellow and it will cut your limbs.
* Dead Memes - If eaten, dead memes will be the only thing that comes to your mind for a week.
* The worser cupcake - A normal cupcake with a 2 cyanide pills encased inside it. If eaten, it will kill you within 24-72 hours. Taken off the shelves in 2019 due to low sales.
* Confetti - A vanilla cupcake with sprinkles all over it.
* Alcohol - A cupcake that contains alcohol, with each cupcake having an ABV of 4.5%. If 3 were eaten at the same time, you would be drunk and feel the same effects as a glass of wine.
* Chocolate Chip - One of the most popular requested-by-person cupcakes, and is basically a chocolate chip vanilla cupcake.
* Holiday Cakes - One of the most popular limited cupcakes. It is sold during Halloween, Christmas and the New Year.
* Poison - It is a green cupcake. If eaten, it will poison you.
* Gooey - A vanilla cupcake with chocolate filling inside. It also comes in chocolate and red velvet flavors.
* Every flavor - It's a cupcake that has the flavors of vanilla, chocolate, red velvet, brownie, banana, lemon, sprinkles n' frosting, peanut butter, and also chocolate chip.
== July 2013 major Softies recall ==
Over 195,000 boxes of Marshmallow Softies were recalled due to having the marshmallow filling inside the cake being swapped with men's semen. But why did it happen?
Reports claim that at around 5:30 PM on the 19th of July 2013, 2 teenage workers at the Softies factory ejaculated into the main batter mixing machine in protest over how they thought their jobs seemed like manual labour. Over 195,000 boxes were affected and recalled, and both teenagers would be sued the total price of those boxes (over $575,000 each).