A Seabee or Something

A Seabee or Something is the first episode of (pat)Rick Figures.
== Transcript ==
(On the street, Patrick walks up to SpongeBob with arms undulating.)
SpongeBob: What is wrong with your body?
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Hi, SpongeBob, how you do?
(He continues to move in a strange manner.)
SpongeBob: And what is wrong with your voice?
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) There ain't nothing wrong with my voice, Shawtay!
SpongeBob: You're making some weird sounds.
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Oh. Uh, that. I swallowed a bee or something, maybe a robot frog! I don't know. But it sounds sick as fuck! (He bounces up & down.)
SpongeBob: Whatever, man. I got a serious problem.
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah, girl. Turn up the problems.
SpongeBob: Patrick!
(Patrick stops bouncing.)
Patrick: (normal voice) Sorry. (Auto-Tuned): Sorray!
SpongeBob: No, really. I'm having girl problems.
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Then I feel bad for you, son.
SpongeBob: My girlfriend dumped me last night...
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Oh, my God!
SpongeBob: Thanks, man. Yeah, I know. We were together a long ti-
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) A Pretztail!
(Paulie Pretztail comes out of a trashcan. The camera zooms into his eyes.)
Paulie Pretztail: Konichiwa.
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) The ninja of the sea.
(SpongeBob snaps his fingers to get Patrick's attention.)
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Ohhhhh, shiiiiieeet!
SpongeBob: You sound really stupid.
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah, right! My voice sounds tight as fuck! Hey, ladies! You like the sound of my (Waving arms in the air) voooice?!
(Women cheer & start to dance.)
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) I can't hear you! I said do you like the sound of my vo-o-ooice?
(Boom Addict plays as women dance & Red gets laid by a woman. He's then showing 2 women to Blue.)
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Yo, SpongeBob! I just found you a new girlfriend & a girl for your girlfriend. (Turns to a fat ugly girl.) (normal voice) And you can go home.
(She gets discouraged & walks away. Women continue to dance, now with limos & speakers.)
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah, yeah!
Paulie Pretztail: (dancing) Shorty! Make-a that ass crap (possibly meaning "clap")!
SpongeBob: Hmmmm... (Turns around to face 2 women who are dancing. He clears his throat & speaks nervously.) You're looking very pret-- (clears throat) Ah, fuck! (1 of the women slaps him.)
Paulie Pretztail: You need to be with the grown-ass, man!
(SpongeBob looks at Paulie Pretztail suspiciously. Paulie Pretztail gives him the "finger", complete with censor. Paulie Pretztail walks away with the women. Meanwhile, Patrick continues to dance.)
Patrick: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah! Yeeeah! (Chokes & farts out a seabee, which flies away.)
Seabee: (Auto-Tuned) I'm free, mothafucka!
Patrick: (normal voice) Oh, damn, it was a seabee! Yeh-hes, woman! I like your movements!
(The women give him a confused look. The limos & the women leave. Paulie Pretztail's shown with a smoke bomb.)
Paulie Pretztail: Sayonara!
(He throws the bomb down & disappears in a cloud of smoke.)
SpongeBob: (sarcastically) Oh, man, I'm so sorry for you, you had everything, woooow...
Patrick: Yep. Well, looks like everything's back to norma-- (Farts for a few seconds, his leg wobbling. SpongeBob watches in disgust.)
SpongeBob: Why am I friends with you?
Patrick: 'Cause I'm aweso-!
== Soundtrack ==
Hawaiian Train: Title card.
Tomfoolery: Most of the episode.
Boom Addict: The dancing sequence.
Sad Parting: "And you can go home."
Category:FDBackup
Category:Episodes
Category:2018
Category:2010s