Treehouse of Horror XXVIII/Quotes

:Lisa: No one ever wants the apple. They must be afraid there's a razor blade in me.
:Bart: [sarcastic] Yeah, THAT'S the reason.
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:[Homer eats a living chocolate bunny, who screams in pain]
:Lisa: Dad! I can't listen to this horror!
:Homer: Okay, I'm on it.
:[Homer bites the mouth off]
:Lisa: Thank you.
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:Marge: Maggie, sweetie. You should be in bed.
:[Maggie is revealed to be possessed by Pazuzu]
:Maggie: No one leaves alive!
:Marge: Ooooh, her first words!
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:Dr. Hibbert: Someone's starting their terrible twos.
:Maggie: Someone's having an affair with his nurse!
:[Bernice looks at him in anger, and Dr. Hibbert quickly takes out a thermometer]
:Dr. Hibbert: ... Say. "Ahh!"
:Maggie: Aaaahhhh-DULTERER!
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:Priest: Well, there's only one answer here. Cut her loose!
:Homer: Are you sure?
:Priest: Well, if you can't trust a Catholic Priest with a child, who can you trust?
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:Maggie: I am Pazuzu, demon of the Southwest wind.
:Lisa: Wait, wait, so, you're not even as powerful as the South wind or the West wind? How lame is that?
:Maggie: I used to be very important. Google it!
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:[Pazuzu possesses Bart]
:Pazuzu: Let me out! Let me out! This boy has the darkest soul I've ever seen! It's worse than working for David Schwimmer!
:Bart: Yo, Pazuzu, grow me some horns.
:[Pazuzu grows Bart some horns]
:Homer: Heh, heh. Those aren't horns, those are nubs.
:[Bart's horns grow larger and they impale Homer through the nose]
:Homer: No, no! Well, at least they'll get me out of jury duty.
:[Gilligan cut to Homer in jury duty, with a dismembered horn, still up his nose]
:Homer: D'oh!
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:Lisa: So, anyone wanna pick up litter at the park today? How 'bout you, Maggie?
:Marge: She's still got a touch of Pazuzu.
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:[Lisa finds a secret door]
:Lisa: A secret door? We don't have smoke alarms, but we have this?
:Homer: [off-screen] Smoke is it's own alarm.
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:Snowball V: Let's go meet your other family.
:Lisa: [gasp] Other family!?
:Snowball V: Already, the talking cat isn't the most interesting thing.
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:[Lisa enters the Coraline world]
:Lisa: Wow, for a Halloween show middle segment, this is amazing.
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:[Lisa jams with the Coraline family]
:Lisa: You're all good, but not better than me! I wish I could stay forever.
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:Homer: Something's missing. Didn't we have a kid between Bart and the baby? Little smarty pants, plays the flute, I think.
:Marge: Lisa! She's been gone for days and the police have been no help.
:[Clancy Wiggum walks in]
:Clancy: Not true. I helped you reassemble that high chair.
:[Maggie's high chair falls apart]
:Clancy: Damn It!
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:Lisa: Bart! How'd you find me?
:Bart: I had an informant.
:[Bart picks up Snowball V]
:Lisa: I know. He can talk.
:Bart: He can? I just followed him in.
:Snowball V: Oh, God. Now I'll have to talk to him.
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:Homer: Eh, I don't think he's coming back.
:Marge: How can you be so calm? I bore both those children.
:Homer: Hey, your stories aren't great, but I wouldn't call them boring.
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:Snowball V: You really did it this time, Homer. You lost your family.
:Homer: Wait, you can speak on this side?
:Snowball V: Yes, I just don't like to. It makes the dog feel inferior.
:[Santa's Little Helper whines]
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:Homer: Man, am I jealous of you guys. Two weeks in Lima, Ohio, with Patty and Selma, while I'm stuck here, working. It's gunna be lonely. So lonely.
:Marge: Well, if you really want us to stay, we-
:Homer: [urging the family to leave] We already kissed goodbye and the car heard it.
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:Homer: Do you have any spaghetti with my balls? Uh, meat balls?
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:Ned: Are you eating forbidden fruit?
:Homer: [disgusted] Fruit? Ugh!
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:Bart: What's with the gloves?
:Homer: Uhhh, I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and I thought I could be more elegant.
:Bart: Elegant? With your waistline? I don't think so.
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:Marge: This is, without question, the worst moment of our entire marriage.
:Homer: What about-
:Marge: This is worse!
:Homer: Opa!
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:Homer: Maybe deep down, that's why I ate myself. Because I hate myself.
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:Mario Batali: He wanted to me to pass on these final words. "I've failed as a man, but I've succeeded as an ingredient."
:Bart: I call the brain!
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:Lenny: Homer's the biggest thing in food, since free refills.
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:Lenny: How did they so much meat out of Homer?
:Carl: Well, they mixed in some Barney, Comic Book Guy, and horse.
:Lenny: Horse?
Category:Treehouse of Horror quotes
Category:Treehouse of Horror