Annoying Orange: Comedy Clubbing/Transcript

(Sitcom Music Playing, Camera Zooms in on theater marquee. Text says: Stand-up comedy: Marty Meatball; Chatterbox Championship)
Marty: Boy, oh boy, let me tell you about my ex-wife! My Ex-wife wanted to be an actress, but I'll tell you, she was so ugly, she couldn't get a part as a hot dog! (cymbal crash) Hey all!
Pear: (with Marty telling jokes in the background): Man, this is so exciting! I've been dying to come to this comedy club!
Midget Apple: Yeah, Me too.
Orange: Whoa! Midget Apple!
Midget Apple: That's "Little" Apple!
Orange: What are you doing back there?
Midget Apple: I'm trying to watch the show, but you're blocking my view!
Orange: Maybe that's why they call it "stand-up!"
(Orange and Pear both laugh)
Midget Apple: (groans)
Marty: She's stupid, too! You wanna know how stupid? She thought a sirloin was a "knight". (laughs)
Orange: Was that supposed to be funny?
Pear: Just give him a chance, OK?
Marty: Oh, is she a lousy driver! Just last week, she T-Boned my car! (cymbal crash)
(Crickets Chirping)
Orange: I dunno why we have to come to This place to laugh. I'm way funnier than this meatball.
Marty: Hey, Doo-Da Dip, zip the lip!
Orange: Hey, Doo-Da Daff, make me laugh! (laughs)
Pear: Dude, knock it off! Now he's gonna pick on us!
Marty: All right, looks like we got another comedian here, folks! What's your name, huh? Bozo? (cymbal crashes and laughs)
Orange: I'm not a Bozo, I'm an orange!
Marty: Well, thanks a lot, Captain Obvious! (cymbal crashes and laughs)
Orange: No problem, Major Meatball! (laughs)
Marty: Oh, so you want to see a joke, huh? Quick, somebody get this guy a mirror! (cymbal crash and laughs)
Orange: Really, that's all ya got?
Marty: Hey, what about yer little buddy there?
Midget Apple: That's Little "Apple"!
Marty: Not you, munchkin! The other guy.
Pear: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Leave me out of this!
Marty: Boy, does this guy need some exercise! He's looking a little Pear Shaped! (cymbal crash)
Pear: Dude, I am a pear!
Marty: Yeah, a "pair of jokers"! (cymbal crash and laughs)
Orange: Wow! Did you ever notice that Meatball's a real ham-burger? (laughs and cymbal crash)
Marty: Orange, you are so stupid, you thought photosynthesis had somethin' to do with a camera! (cymbal crash)
Orange: Yea, well you're so dumb, you tried to go fishing in a gravy boat! (laughs and cymbal crash)
Midget Apple: (groans) Can we go home now?
Orange: What? You guys don't wanna leave already, do you?
(Pear and Midget Apple simultaneously): Yes!
Marty: Why don't you make like a hockey stick and get the puck outta here? (cymbal crash)
Orange: But I'm totally winning! This guy's dead meat! (laughs) (cymbal crash)
Marty: Ah, whatever, Orange! I'm the one RIND-ing you down! (laugh and cymbal crash)
Orange: Hey, hey Meatball!
Marty: What?
Orange: Hey! Can I call you Chuck?
Marty: Uh... okay.
Orange: Hey, Chuck! Hey, hey Chuck!
Marty: What do you want now?
Orange: Guess what?
Marty: What?
Orange: Spatula!
(Spatula drops and flattens a screaming Marty.)
All: Whoa!
Orange: Talk about a patty pooper! (laughs and cymbal crash)
(Spatula lifts Flat Marty. Screen switches to Daneboe's kitchen. Spatula drops Chuck on a Frying Pan. Marty gets fried, screaming in pain)
Pear: Ooh!!
Orange: What's that? I can't hear you! You're delivery's a little flat! (Laughs and cymbal crash)
(Hand takes the Frying Pan, with Marty in it, now a hamburger, still screaming in pain)
Midget Apple: Ouch, that looks like it hurt!
Pear: Jeez, all I wanted to do is laugh! What a let-down!
Midget Apple: I'll say! I've been staring at Orange's butt all night!
Orange: Aww, poor Meatball! His show really got panned! (Laughs and cymbal crash)
(Pear and Midget Apple join in)
Orange: I guess Marty Meatball was all sizzle and no steak! (laughs)
(Again, Pear and Midget Apple join in)
Orange: You guys believe he had a beef with me?
(All laugh simeltaneously)
Midget Apple: Yeah! Spatula was all like, "Can me have a cheeseburger?" (Laughs)
(Record scratches, crickets start chirping)
(Soon, all laugh)
(the credits roll as The Fruity Question of the Day is presented: Who's funnier: Marty Meatball or Annoying Orange?)
Orange: Hey! Hey, Midget Apple! You should tell another one of your short jokes!
Midget Apple: That's little joke!
Category:Transcript pages
Category:Season 3
Category:Shorts