The Assholes

The Assholes are a protagonist party that appears in: Secrets of the Far East.
A rag-tag group of villains roaming the lands of Ositis.
==Synopsis==
===History===
By chance, the Assholes somehow came into contact with one another and decided to form a classic adventuring group together.
===Secrets of the Far East - Chapter 1: Search for Deter Pinklage===
In the dog-eat-dog world that Endaria had long since become, the three were left to scavenge for survival. Eventually, they crossed paths with a woman in a bar who was looking for a man called Deter Pinklage, so they suggested they'd assist them, if they gained a reward afterwards, so they looked around for clues nearby, but found nothing useful. Suddenly, a man named Shigeru Kojima offered his assistance for a cut of the reward, as he had heard word that Deter Pinklage was eaten by a dragon, but could still be alive if they hurry. The Assholes decided to accept his help and they got into his Flying Submarine, the Star Snake, and they flew to a cave nearby, where the dragon was resting. They'd realised that when they got there, the "dragon" was actually a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but they still had to act quickly, so they battled furiously with the dinosaur, and eventually forced it to violently shit itself. As a result of this, Deter Pinklage busted out too, alive and well, but without hesitation, Nice Guy vored him whole for literally no reason other than to be a dickhead, so Shiggy Koji told them that they'd just wait until Nice Guy poops him out to get the reward, which everyone agreed to do. On their way back to the Star Snake they realised that two skeletons were about to start hammering away at it for parts, so the two parties went at it. The skeletons claimed to be Sans and Papyrus Undertale, but Nice Guy knew this to be false, because Sans Undertale was an alias he once used, so the party fought with the skeletons and killed them. On their way back to the village to bring Deter Pinklage back, Nice Guy pooped him out and they received their reward money for the quest.
===Secrets of the Far East - Chapter 2: Church of Scientology===
After their last escapade, Shiggy Koji had them help him out with an errand in Jamaica (which is more like Japan), then asked if they wanted to go anywhere as his reward for helping, so the Assholes asked to go to Japan (which is more like Jamaica). He agreed and dropped them off in the country, then told them that he had more work to do, so if they wanted to be picked up to go somewhere else, they had to meet back their tomorrow morning at about 8. Allowed to roam completely free, they stumbled upon celebrity John Travolta, who was on his way to a meeting, so they followed him to a large grandiose church in the middle of seemingly nowhere. They snuck in and found out that it was a church of Scientology with its leader, Mike Tyson. Klinge Sanger tried to enter the religion, and she instantly rose to the rank of 3rd Dan in a matter of seconds, while her two companions watched from a distance. Sanger actually got really into the religion and joined in on the group meeting they were having, where Mike Tyson revealed a giant brain behind a curtain, calling it Xenu, the dictator of the "Galactic Confederacy". Musammad Ali and Nice Guy sensed something so incredibly villainous about the being that it had to be destroyed, so they shouted out at Mike Tyson. To demonstrate his power (and devotion to Scientology) he pulled out his Great Destiny Sword and fought both of the Assholes himself. The battle was heated and it looked like the pair were going to be greatly overwhelmed, but Nice Guy bit off Mike Tyson's ear and the man suddenly stopped fighting, realising what had just happened. He knelt down and handed the sword to him, telling him that he'd just become the new Great Destiny Man, after defeating him in combat and biting off his ear. Taking the sword, he slashed at the brain, cutting a massive gaping hole in it. This wound caused the brain to moan out in pain and all of the scientologists started having great headaches (including Klinge Sanger. Their heads began exploding one by one, surrounding Ali and Guy with corpses. The pair went over to Klinge Sanger and discovered that he blood was bubbling in a strange way and from it rose a strange grey being, calling itself Neil Bye, the manifestation of all of Klinge Sanger's evil.
== Known Members ==
Member 	Role	Playable	Joined 	Left
Nice Guy 	 	Yes 	05/06/1871	??/??/????
Musammad Ali 	 	Yes 	05/06/1871	??/??/????
Klinge Sanger	 	Yes 	05/06/1871	12/06/1871
== Relationships ==
===Allies===
* Shigeru Kojima The Assholes and Kojima share a close bond as they get faster travel throughout the land of Ositis by flying around in his flying submarine, The Star Snake. He acts as an honorary member of the party, although he only drives, he never participates in actual quests.
* Deter Pinklage The party's first quest together was saving Deter Pinklage from a Tyrannosaurus Rex. They were rewarded handsomely, but Pinklage is still thankful, despite their methods.
Category:The Wavis D&D Legend
Category:Secrets of the Far East
Category:Parties
Category:Protagonist Parties