Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs/Transcript

This, is Fairy Tale Island.
A magical land of princes and princesses witches and monsters.
Accidents and strange events happen all the time.
And that's when people call us.
The Fearless Seven, the greatest heroes on Fairy Tale Island.
Especially me, Merlin.
But everything changed the day we defeated a dragon and saved a Princess.
We thought we'd saved a witch, so, we att*cked her.
But we were wrong.
She wasn't a witch, she was a princess.
The Fairy Princess!
How were we supposed to know? She looks like a witch, and everyone knows that a princess doesn't look like a witch.
Anyways, she wanted to teach us a lesson, so she put a curse on us.
And this was a nasty one. that turned us into little ugly green monsters whenever people looked at us.
And the only way to break the curse is to get a kiss from the most beautiful woman in the world.
Are you kidding me?
With this face?
Hello, your majesty.
Good morning ma'am. Good morning ma'am.
Magic tree, magic tree...
Let this morning be the time that you perform your duty,
of bringing me the shoes of youthful eternal... beauty.
Yes!
Change me!
Finally!
Not again! How long must I wait?
No. - Clear these away.
Uh-oh.
Heads off.
Pull yourself together.
Here you are.
Oh? Thanks!
That wasn't here before. What is she up to now?
Huh?
Huh?
You weren't here before.
Whatever.
Oh! Oww!
Yes!
I can't believe my beloved daughter Snow White has turned eighteen.
I only wish her mother could see the kind of smart and beautiful young woman she's become.
Strange thing happened during the party.
The castle guards brought in a woman named Regina.
They said she was a witch, but she was too beautiful to be a witch.
I have married Regina. Everything feels so perfect!
Except for Regina's strange looking mirror. There's something not quite right.
People around the castle have been disappearing, one by one.
Is it because of that peculiar mirror?
I saw it with my own eyes, Regina talking to a tree.
She must be a witch!
I should send Snow away to a safer place.
My dear Snow, by the time you read this, my fate will be uncertain.
She's coming for me now.
I only hope you can find the Fearless Seven, and ask them for help.
Apples...
... the most suspicious of fruits.
Oh, Papa, where are you?
But they don't look dangerous.
Regina?
No, my shoes! Get her!
Can I borrow this? Okay.
Thanks!
What?
Nooo!!!!!
Short, chubby, and green.
Green is like an ogre.
Blue or yellow could've made us look cute. And cuddly.
Quit your complaining, Merlin!
I'm figuring out how to take this curse and kick it where the sun don't shine.
Listen, we need to find the most beautifullest princess to kiss us, and we've just about run out of options.
How would a beautiful woman even see you, Mister Invisible?
What was that? Some kind of bird?
Magic mirror, full of wisdom, who's the fairest in the Kingdom?
The woman who wears the red shoes.
And side note, wisdom and kingdom don't really rhyme.
Cut the sass and tell me her name!
How should I know? I don't get out much.
Well, you are the magic mirror.
Magic is just my first name, it's short for Magichard. Like Richard.
What can you do then?
I just reflect what I see, the truth. The truth is, that you should see yourself right now. Right now!
Watch it.
Distribute wanted posters to every town, village, valley, forth and forge in the kingdom, and find her!
I feel my power draining.
I don't have much time. The aging is accelerating.
And only three bumbling bits of kindling for help.
Perhaps you should recruit another, someone who stands to gain from your success.
What about this fellow?
Interesting.
Tell me more, Magichard.
Hey hey, Over here! Over here!
See, see. Come! Very quick.
Look at this. Look, look, look.
What is it?
I know a lot about silhouettes, and I think this shape is a witch.
Let's not jump to conclusions. Yes, it could be a witch.
...Or Ya. It's a witch The witch who cursed us?
Let's catch her and make her break the spell!
En garde!
Wands where I can see 'em, witch!
Fraulein!
No No No! Stop!
I get you some revenge!
Beautiful!
I didn't know anyone could be so beautiful.
How did she end up with us?
Hello, dear lady. Welcome to my home slash command post.
I have six room mates but my name's on the lease.
I pay the rent.
Your home? Oh my gosh, I am... I am so sorry.
I was starving and...
No need to apologize.
We didn't mean to interrupt your stolen meal.
If you're still hungry, I can whip up something simple.
You see I, marinate the solution and...
Who is that?
Uhh...
Who?
Wow. I look so different.
I mean, my face, and my waist, and my waist and...
My waist?
Oh my gosh! What happened to me?
Oh, I must've gotten up so quickly my back is k*lling me.
You mean your head, right?
Do you need help? No, I'm fine.
Is that really what I look like? In the mirror? Do you see the same thing?
You're beautiful, miss.
Like an angel!
Really?
Could it be?
Excuse me, but who are you?
Oh... I'm Snow...
Snot?
No no no no no no.
My name is...
R-Red Shoes.
Yep. It's me. Red Shoes.
Cool name, but, by any chance would that be Princess Red Shoes?
Of course, she's a princess!
How could she be so beautiful if she weren't?
Obviously! Right, miss?
Obviously, I mean I am a princess.
Who are you guys?
I'm Merlin.
Part time hero, full time romantic.
And this is Jack, Hans, Arthur, Pino, Noki and Kio.
No way, your names are the same as the F-Seven.
The Fearless Seven. I'm looking for them.
Let me guess, Merlin's your favourite?
No, not really.
No, that Merlin's not your type.
You seem like a Prince Arthur fan to me.
Honestly, none of them are really my type.
Oh.
Well. That's fine.
Because we're not them, we're actually completely different people.
In no way are we the same guys, put under a curse, and changed into different forms.
But only if someone looks at us, It's very complicated.
Right. We're all clear.
So how can I assist you, my fair lady?
I need to find my father, and I know that the F-Seven can help.
We know the F-Seven very well, and their schedule is fully booked.
Leave it to me, I'll find your father within the month.
I can do it in one week.
Four days! - Three days!
Two days! - One!
Oomph!
I already found your father like, two weeks ago.
Really?
I just need a few days to get him across state lines.
I seriously need to find my dad.
Hold on. Nobody has seen the F-Seven in over a year, right?
You're not going to find them now, we're your best bet.
Wow. No-ones offered to help me for such a long time.
You guys are awesome Really? You think we are awesome?
Yeah, you guys are caring, and sweet, and...
And not completely hideous to look at?
No, you guys are totally adorable.
I think I hit her too hard.
But she is beautiful.
She can help me break the curse.
Who is coming to my birthday party?
Has Ariel RSVP'd?
She says she can't make it, sir. She has to wax her legs.
But she's a mermaid!
What about Sleeping Beauty?
Doctor's appointment.
Is she sick? Says she has insomnia.
If she's not gonna sleep, she can come to our party.
What about Rapunzel?
And don't tell me she's getting her hair done.
Nope. It's something called, uh, book.
Princess Cruise?
That's a ship, sir.
Princess Leia?
She's a general!
I demand glorious guests!
How can I be any more unpopular!
And I don't understand, why?
Greetings, Prince Average.
It's pronounced Avv-vous-rarge.
Sure it is.
If you're here for the 'We Love Our Peasants' group giveaway, that motion is ended. Grab your wrinkles and go.
Move along.
Do you think that people would respect you, if you celebrated your birthday with a beautiful woman on your arm?
Finally, someone talking sense!
This horrible crone gets it!
May I suggest inviting this young lady?
She's beautiful, when can she get here?
Well, that's up to you.
You see, she's stolen something from me.
You find her, bring her along with you, and you won't look like such a loser, and I get my shoes back.
Fear not, loyal hag.
I, Prince Average, shall find this fugitive, and make her pay for her crimes, by making her attend my birthday party.
There shall be balloons!
I just thought of it. Let's have a lot of balloons!
What a buffoon.
It looks just like papa.
Papa won't recognise me.
Why won't... why won't these shoes just come off?
Yes, this is me.
Would you like to join me in a moisturising mask?
Oh, thanks, oh. But I am...
Oh!
So tired.
Are you sure?
It's very important to take care of your skin.
Positive.
But this is the finest French recipe meant to hydrate skin.
It is made of French poopee!
Papa?
Hmm. A spell that makes you fall in love.
Oh, there it is.
Merlin! Have you seen my cook book?
Have you checked in the kitchen?
Ah, silly me! The kitchen. Of course!
Now, where was I?
Merlin, have you seen my moisturizer?
It's nowhere to be... - No!
Whatever it is, I haven't seen it. Now please, go away.
Someone's got anger management issues.
Getting a kiss was never a problem with this face.
Red Shoes?
Papa?
Papa? Are you there?
Papa?
Boys! I'm telling you. Sweet treats are the way to a woman's heart.
It works! I call it, an auto portrait.
I call it, the duplicatertron.
I call it, selfie!
Red Shoes must love it!
Monsieur, monsieur.
She doesn't want sweets and selfies.
Women want diamonds.
Merlin?
The Book of Spells To Make You Fall In Love?
Okay, big, terrifying, wooden bunny.
You're a nice bunny.
You're a Vegan bunny, right?
What was that? Lightning?
Actually, it's called magic. I do it.
Really? Then do some!
♪ Darling...
♪ Wish you could see what can I see
♪ Miles ahead just you and me
♪ To infinity
Keep running, and whatever you do, don't look back.
But I can't leave without you.
You're looking back. Don't do that.
But...
Hate to zap you longears, But I need to impress a beautiful woman.
Big, scary bunny! Over here!
Red! Stop putting yourself in...
...danger...
Arthur! I got you.
It's no use, Red Shoes.
I'm slippin' away. Not much time...
Just... need to... use that core of mine...
I see the light at the end of the funnel.
Time for me to kick the bucket I had a good run. I was God blessed.
Oh, I used to be able to bench two fifty!
Before I go, how about a farewell kiss?
Red Shoes! Thank goodness you're safe.
Do you need CPR? I'm basically an expert.
And don't worry, I brushed my teeth.
No, No, No. I'm fine, but Arthur, he's stuck.
He tried to save me and...
Would you get up?
What? He's not hurt?
Only his pride. Seriously Arthur?
You need to find a better way to hit on girls.
Stand back! I may have to risk my life.
Someone call for three inventors?
For three geniuses?
That sounds like us!
Everyone came runnin' to help, great, just great.
Everyone except Merlin, that is.
Ah! Super, there he is now.
Where have you been?
Something awful could've happened to Red if I hadn't shown up.
You?
Don't even go there!
I saved her first.
Right? I was worried about you.
I was worried about me too.
But mostly you. No-one needs to worry.
Arthur's here. Please, my lady.
Um... Okay.
You shouldn't go into the forest by yourself.
It's a nightmarish landsacpe, fit only for bloodthirsty warriors like myself.
...And squirrels.
I thought I saw my father.
Turned out, just to be that big bunny.
Well, if you ever make such a dangerous and weird mistake again, just know that I can protect you.
This's very kind.
And if you really want to express your gratitude, you can...
Oh, I am so sorry.
This was much slappier than I intended it to be.
Oh! It happens. No problem.
Maybe an apology kiss then?
Bravo mon ami!
Nice try.
Red Shoes.
Gentlemen, to break this curse, we're going to have to work as a tightly knit team.
Which means, you do everything I say.
Excuse? - Huh? - What? - No.
You got to be kidding.
Hans and Jack will search around the Dismal Lake.
Triplets! You search the Caves Of Despair.
Red Shoe and I, will go to Golden Goose Avenue.
 Golden Goose Avenue, which happens to be your go to place for dates.
We are going to focus on the mission.
And then see where the evening takes us.
The only thing you're going to shop for on Golden Goose Avenue, is rejection.
And you can't even afford that.
I like my odds. You saw what she did.
An expression of affection.
Every woman shows it differently.
You took your sh*t. You got slapped.
May I remind you that this is the closest thing to a kiss anyone's had since the curse.
Let's work together to guide Red Shoes' feelings towards me so we can break the curse.
What about the rest of us?
After I resume my princely form, the word about F-Seven will be out.
Ladies will be begging to kiss your green mugs.
Really? Sounds reasonable.
I'll bring the gelato!
Getting one kiss sure is easier than getting seven.
This is not a plan, he's just out for himself!
A half baked plan is better than none.
Don't worry Merlin, I have a big assignment for you.
Big assignment?
Here you go. I drew these up last night.
I can't tell if this drawing is terrible, or really avant garde.
Oh, my neighbor's a great art teacher.
Pablo Picassover?
One thing's for sure, daddy's on the big side...
...of big.
You must take after your mother.
No, I look a lot like papa...Oh!
Yeah, my mother. Gosh! We... exactly! Twins!
Alright. You know the plan. Let's move.
Deploy! Thunderdwarfs are go!
And where d'ya think you're going?
Your post is right there.
You'll watch the savage monster. I call him Vicious!
I call him Woodbottom.
Do not worry Merlin. We'll make sure you get kissed too.
Eventually.
We'll split up here.
Alright, see you later.
I know exactly where we should look to find your father.
Really? Where?
Daddy!
Wow!
Is this what I think it is?
I present Excalibur, the legendary sword trapped in this rock for centuries.
Waiting for a man of great strength to release it.
It says 'Do not attempt to remove by force'.
... Oh, right. I guess. Ahem.
The truth is, I realized you were the woman of my destiny the first time I saw you.
I thought if I could show you my strength I would be worthy of your affections.
Oh!
Oops, I'll put it back.
No No No! Can I have it?
Oh, Arthur, it's just beginner's luck.
You want me to, maybe pull it out for you again?
No, I'm not humiliated at all.
Let's go.
Don't look at me like that, I'm the real prisoner here.
What? You hungry?
And fetch!
Hop along, big guy!
There's no way Arthur is breaking this curse alone!
Woah!
Arthur, where're you going?
Okay.
See you later.
Hi.
Oh, look at what you made me do!
You...
I'm sorry.
...made me make it perfect.
Thank you.
Woah!
I'm so sorry.
No, don't be. I am sorry.
Are you alright?
And...
...don't worry about this.
What?
Ta-da!
Excuse me, have you seen this man?
♪ I'm feeling good today
♪ And nothing standing in my way
♪ I wouldn't change a thing
♪ I must have been walking in a dream
♪ Everybody wants to stop and stare
♪ People talk but I don't care
♪ Everybody wants to stop and stare
♪ People talk but I don't care
♪ Don't matter what you think or see
♪ There's no-one I would rather be
♪ Take me as I am this is me
♪ There's no-one I would rather be
♪ It don't matter
♪ It don't matter to me
♪ It dont matter
♪ Take me as I am this is me
Arthur, I was thinking.
What if I just pull out the Excalibur for you?
Our secret.
Really? We have a secret now?
Yeah.
I like a girl who can keep things classified.
Let's find your pops, friend.
'Bye guys.
What?
Hey, you.
No.
Hey!
Stop!
Come on!
Oh, you guys don't have to help.
That's not her. Come on.
Sorry miss.
Red Shoes! Where has she gone?
Where's Red Shoes?
That's what I'd like to know.
Wait a minute.
Who said you could leave your post?
I'm just walking the bunny.
Red Shoes, where are you?
Hey, have you seen this girl?
Look what I found Oh, those're mine. Can I, actually have my shoes back?
No way. You're not serious, are you?
I'm really not in the mood, Can you just, please give them back to me?
Ha! They won't even fit on you.
They're gonna fit me better than they fit you.
Hey!
Red Shoes!
Guys! Guys, I'm here.
Red Shoes! Red Shoes! Where are you?
Even the hideous dwarfs won't help you.
Those dwarfs are not hideous.
And I don't need anyone to help me.
Freeze! Put the shoes down.
Get on your knees and put your hands behind your head.
On second thought, they're yours.
There's no need to push me in a corner Super scary.
Your red shoes, milady.
Thank you.
Excuse me, miss, have we met?
Well, that's kind of a complicated question.
Red Shoes!
Gotta go. Be safe.
Guys!
Where has she gone?
Red Shoes!
Stop!
Hold on!
Wait a minute.
Gotcha now, don't we?
I don't get it.
Now we know how fast a bunny can hop in a pinch.
Thank you for helping me, Merlin.
A pleasure, milady.
But I also did it for us.
By the way, what is this?
Gosh, it seems silly but...
... It's my shoes They're magical. I know, they're fabulous.
But why're they after you?
No, my shoes, they're actually made of magic.
Red Shoes!
Are you a criminal?
No, of course not.
I knew a girl this pretty couldn't possibly be a criminal.
Look, we should head out now, there could be more guards around any minute.
Don't worry about them, I've got these bad boys.
This is gonna make it so much harder to find my dad.
I have an idea!
♪ What a sight what I feel when I'm looking at you
♪ Like I see in the sky for the very first time
♪ And I want you to know that I've never seen something so beautiful
♪ In the stars it's a sign that our worlds could collide
♪ You and I, side by side
♪ And I want you to know that I've never seen something so beautiful Ta-da!
Oh wow!
What do you think?
That is amazing.
Thank you.
♪ This is the start of something so right
♪ Suddenly all of the stars have aligned
♪ In the right place at the right time
You had a thing on your cheek.
Alright, let's go.
We've been walking for hours. And we'll keep walking 'till we find them.
Now we got her.
Are they gone? Shh. Who cares? -
C'mon. Let's go see.
Look at that.
Wow! Wow!
Awsome!
Who's that?
It's the girl's father.
But where's the girl?
It says to go to Risky Rock, so she must be there.
Why Risky Rock?
We should ask the girl.
Perfect! Where's the girl?
It says to go to Risky Rock, so she must be there.
But, why Risky Rock?
We should ask the girl.
Umm...
Where's the girl?
It says to go to Risky Rock, so she must be there.
But, why Risky Rock?
We should ask the girl.
♪ This is the start of something so right
♪ Suddenly all of the stars have aligned Oww!
What was that for?
You, sir, are sabotaging my relationship with Red Shoes.
What relationship are you talking about?
Red Shoes and I share a secret.
I would tell you what it is, but it's a secret.
While you're busy keeping secrets, I'm going to break my curse.
You're nothing without your spells, magic boy.
And you're nothing without Excalibur.
You're not waiting for someone to pull it out for you, are you?
How did you know?
Is it true?
Hans, you shouldn't have.
Something sweet, for someone sweeter.
This is spectacular!
Oh, it's nothing. Just let me know what you want.
Any time, for the rest of your life. Do you like fondue?
Behold! Carved by the finest jewellers out of all the jewellers I know which is a lot.
Pretty.
And it's yours, Miss Shoes, yours in exchange for nothing.
Make it a kiss.
That's really sweet Jack, but I can't accept it.
I don't want your jewells, only your good intentions.
My intentions are more than good, they're super bonne.
Testing one, two.
Testing one... no, I'm pushing it, you dolt.
Attention! Hideous trolls!
Is it dwarfs with an 'f', or dwarves, with a 'v'?
I want to use whatever's more offensive.
Oh, it's that loser, Prince Average.
I heard that! It's Avv-vous-rarge!
Oh, please.
Inside your amateurs attempt at a facade of a sham of a travesty of a veneer of a castle is a gorgeous wanted criminal.
I hereby command that all of you exit the premises and surrender post haste.
Fail to comply, and you will never see these two again.
You have until three.
One.
Two.
I lied. Charge!
Am I the person you want?
Yes, yes you are.
Though I don't know if you're a person or a vision of beauty, some kind of angelic thing with wings. Angelic wing things?
I will come with you, but only after you release my friends.
Do it. Do it!
Now, here's the good news. It's my birthday!
And you are going to be the belle of the ball.
The invitation sounds great, really. But...
It wasn't an invitation, more of an order.
Prepare the lady's carriage.
She said she doesn't want to go, Average.
Avv-vous-rarge!
Don't troll me, Troll.
Ah! So rude.
I couldn't agree more. Subjects these days.
Now. Shall we?
Get her!
You hold off the guards, and I'll get her out of here.
No, I'm faster. You stay here and buy us time.
Here's a thought.
Stop fighting and fight!
What's the plan?
Rescue Red Shoes.
Like the old days, guys.
Arthur!
Can we get this over with? They're just dwarfs!
Did you guys hear something?
Come on!
Duck!
Hi, guards, are we taking a break?
... well, FYI They're getting away!
No!
Who's throwin' vegetables?
Yeah! You just got Merlined!
Run!
Jack!
Duck!
I'm so sorry. You alright?
No. I'm not.
Gentlemen, he surrenders.
What?
Engines. Full power.
Shields up.
Turn on the mini frizzer.
Superhero landing!
Hooray for us!
We did it! It was mostly me.
Yeah!
What?
You've got to be kidding.
Finally the big g*ns, thank you.
Fire!
Fire!
Ooh, close.
The cannonball. Not you. timeout, timeout. Everyone, timeout.
You almost blew her up, and she can't come to my party if you blow her up.
Sorry, sir.
Alright. Time back in.
Surrender monsters!
No! Wait!
Oh. That's pretty cool.
Everyone inside. And hurry!
You messed with the wrong prince.
There is nothing average about Avv-vous-rarge.
I shall return!
On Tuesday.
No, wait. I'll check my calendar...
Thursday, I shall return Thursday!
We'll be ready.
And waiting.
Arrivederci!
Ciao for now!
Bye bye!
You just got dwarfed!
Is that better? I think Merlined is better.
You should have seen the look on his big ugly face when bunny came running at him.
That's how you see everything, isn't it?
With my eyes?
You always talk about what someone looks like.
I do? I wouldn't say that.
But I can't wait for you to see the real me.
What kind of Merlin is the real you?
You might not believe it, but the real me is famous, handsome, and even popular.
Not short, stumpy and green.
Yeah, you're short, stumpy and green, but you're also a wonderful and charming person.
I'm not explaining it right.
If you saw the real me, you'd know exactly what I mean.
I think I can see the real you.
And I like you, just as you are.
That's hilarious.
Here, close your eyes, and imagine the real me.
I guarantee you, it'll be different.
I do feel something different ..
Really?
But eyes opened or closed to me you're still Merlin.
Now tell me, who am I to you?
You're a gift.
A gift that'll transform me into someone amazing.
Just like you're amazing.
Actually, I want to show you something too.
You need a hand?
Hold on. Nope. Stand back. I got this.
...One...
Two, yeah, okay, I need help.
Woah. Woah woah woah.
No thankyou.
You know what the weird thing is? They're super comfortable.
Y'know, I'm just saying. Where were you when the facade was falling?
I mean, that was terrifying.
What're you doing here?
I have come for my shoes.
Well, I had them. I mean I saw them. But those dwarfs!
It's dwarves with a 'v'. So you failed?
I did not fail, I took a timeout.
Yeah. This is a calculated timeout.
I'm going to return on Thursday, we all pencilled it in.
Silence!
Have a bite.
For strength.
Apples, the most suspicious of fruits.
I don't have much time, Prince.
You could still have the best birthday ever, But remember...
What's bad for me, will be very bad for you.
She's gone.
Ah! What's the worst that could happen.
It's kind of sweet.
Don't move.
Okay.
Pino, Noki Kio, show us what you got.
Okey doky!
Here we go!
Our pleasure.
... here we go, yeah, a little Oooh a little over here!
Now that looks like a real home.
Yep. I could get used to that.
Uh uh. I cannot.
It's a perfect copy of my drawing. That's incredible.
Let me try.
This will definitely make it easier to find your dad.
Unfortunately, this thing aint flying.
It's grounded.
Why does it need to fly?
The posters are no good if we can't distribute them fast.
Guys, thankyou so much for everything you're doing.
My pleasure. It's nice.
Opening doors!
You know Merlin, I feel so lucky that I've met you.
I feel the same way.
I feel like anything is possible.
♪ Darling
♪ Come on out there and take my hand
♪ I will show you that I'm your man
♪ Is that okay Merlin! Watch out!
Merlin.
Merlin.
Merlin!
Everything okay?
Of course! Sure!
Nothing to be embarrassed about.
So why are we even talking about that when we should be going... this direction.
Hey wait!
So, about these magic shoes.
Why, are they still bothering you?
What kind of magic do those shoes have?
Well .. how do I put this.
Merlin, I used to be strong, really strong.
And, I was always proud of that.
But, the shoes magic, umm, it made me a little dainty?
Sorry to hear.
The shoes made me lose a little bit of weight.
It could be worse.
..Okay.
A lot of weight. Ah.
Well, I know what it's like to look different on the outside from what you feel on the inside.
Merlin, I'd like to give you a token of my appreciation.
Oh, here, hand me one of your spells.
Why?
Oh, come on. I'm not going to zap you.
Give me a second.
There. Consider it your good luck charm.
Thank you.
Merlin, do you think we'd be happier if we were our old selves again?
Yep. Yep, yep. Definately we would.
I don't know.
I like how we are.
Right here, just, right now.
Even if I'm an ugly green monster?
I don't care about your height or what colour you are.
And that's the way you feel about me, right?
Yes, of course. I mean, duhh!
I think we're both just trapped under the same spell.
Wait. Keep your eyes closed and don't open them until I say.
When you open your eyes there will be... a handsome man in front of you.
Someone worthy of you.
Someone you'd be proud to be seen with.
I think you're right.
Ready? And...
Oh, it's such a good day to break a curse!
Now!
Ta-da!
You just got Merlined!
What do you think?
Mission impossibly handsome, right?
Oh, it's okay, I know this is a lot to take in.
But you can let your happiness flag fly.
This, this is the real me.
It's stupid. What?
Wait a minute!
My hands are still green sausages.
No! I look the same.
Yes, impossibly handsome.
This doesn't make sense.
You're the most beautiful woman in the world, why do I look the same?
What're you talking about, Merlin?
Do I need a longer kiss?
Two kisses?
Let's try again.
Umm.
You're not making any sense.
Hurry!
What is that?
This kingdom has a serious monster problem.
Are you alright?
No. I'm not.
Thank you.
Pleasure, milady.
Watch out!
Ha-hah! Yes!
What do they want, besides smashing us?
I don't know!
The old me would've nailed that.
You just got Merlined!
Hurry!
Red, close your eyes.
This is no time for kissing, Merlin.
Trust me. Close your eyes.
Please, close them!
That was too close.
Don't look at me.
You see that tree on the other side of the bridge?
Yeah.
On my signal, run towards it as fast as you can.
No, I can't leave you here.
You have to. And don't look back, okay?
Look right at that tree until I say it's safe.
Promise you won't look.
Okay. I promise.
Now!
What?
You just got Merlined? Oh. Yes you did.
Hey! Locate!
Hey, locate here!
You're even more of a blockhead than Prince Average.
Avv-vous-rarge!
Prince Average?
You just got Merlined.
Take a look, Red Shoes.
Merlin!
I have triumphantly saved the day.
Merlin, no!
Merlin!
Merlin!
Snow White?
Snow White?
The thief was Snow White this whole time?
Interesting. She could remove the shoes.
You're going after her yourself?
What? Were you going to go?
I get it! I don't have legs.
So, here I am.
All the real me.
I bet you're disappointed, huh?
You're the girl from Golden Goose Avenue.
Red Shoes!
That's not my name, it's Snow White.
Princess Snow White? So your father is...
King White, yeah.
By the time I figured out his new wife Regina was a witch he'd already disappeared.
And the monsters who att*cked us were sent by my stepmother to get these shoes.
I guess being beautiful is really worth that much to her.
Have you thought about just giving them back?
And give up their magic?
If I'd given up their magic, you wouldn't have helped me find my father, would you?
Would you?
I thought we were both under the same spell.
But I see now that I was wrong.
Listen, I can't get into all the details, but I'm under a curse too.
You still don't get it, Merlin.
I'm not talking about our curses.
Merlin, I'm talking about the kind of spell you never want to break.
He likes you more than he likes me.
What would've happened if she'd taken off her shoes that day in the barn?
You think that's important?
I just wonder, what I would've done if I'd seen the real Snow White.
Seriously?
It's still all about appearance for you.
No! Not exactly.
But I can't live looking like you for the rest of my life Kind of proving my point, other me. Alright. Let's try this.
Who do you like more, Snow White or Red Shoes?
Easy, it's Red Shoes.
Now, which of us do you think Red Shoes likes more?
Easy, it's me!
Wait. No.
It's... you.
♪ You came in my life in a high flash of lightning
♪ I covered my eyes but there's no use in hiding
♪ This feeling has stuck and I couldn't say You're a gift.
A gift that'll transform me into someone amazing.
♪ This is the start of something so right
♪ Suddenly all of the stars have aligned
♪ In the right place at the right time
♪ This is the start of something so right Well, I know what it's like to look different on the outside to what we feel on the inside.
♪ This is the start of something so right
♪ This is the start of something so right Look at that!
The shoes. You're wearing them.
I thought you left.
You should take them off again.
I can't.
You just had to make things complicated.
Maybe this will help.
Eat the apple, and they'll slide right off.
Where did you get that?
I want to help you, Snow White.
Please.
Red Shoes?
Merlin?
Merlin?
What terrible timing you have.
We're gonna have to do this the hard way.
Regina?
Such a tender family reunion.
So sad we can't stay!
Red Shoes!
Come on, let's go, longears.
Hey! Wait for us!
How 'bout you go back and get the others?
And make lots of copies of this.
Let's go!
We can do this.
Yeah!
Your power my lady. It has drained you.
You think? I don't need you to tell me how I look.
I'm a mirror. It's what I do.
M - I - R - O - R. I can't spell.
Enough.
Bind her.
It's snack time.
How can you sleep at a time like this?
I'm not supposed to talk when I have this on, but I got to ask. Do you think they've kissed yet?
I hope so, because it'll feel better to punch Merlin when he's pretty.
We've been waiting for a... Where have you been?
Did you break the curse yet?
Merlin, are you hungry?
Those are bears.
Ah...
Hi? This is from Merlin.
Wow! This is so cool.
Okay, sword.
If you think you've humiliated, embarrassed, and otherwise frustrated me, you're right.
But that ends now!
Oh, zut alors. Please end this.
Hey! Wait! You're running the wrong way.
The castle's over there.
Sit.
Eat this darling, and you'll get your freedom.
Where is my father?
Royal loyal little girl, pining for her papa?
This is getting a little boring, so I need you to take a bite, and I'll tell you.
I won't let you win.
You've torn apart my family, and you will not get away with it, Regina.
Ooh, I'm so scared, Snow.
Very well. A different approach.
Merlin! No!
Eat the apple, or watch him die.
That's your choice.
Don't do it. No!
No!
Red Shoes!
Promise to me, you'll let him go.
Oh absolutely. When the third bell chimes, everything will be just like it used to be.
No! No no no.
Save my papa for me.
Red Shoes!
A legendary handsome knight, fearless rescuer of princesses.
Sitting in a tree, not getting K - I - S - I - N - G - D.
Burn. I can't spell.
You don't have to do this.
Just take the shoes and let us go.
I wish. They're made of pure magic apple.
The fruit of temptation and want. They feed on your desires Once they give you what you desire, the bond is permanent.
That's not true. She took them off in the river.
That doesn't make any sense.
How could she possibly want to save you more than she wanted to be beautiful?
What did you do to her?
Did you cast a spell?
What's going to happen to her?
Well, once she eats the apple, its magic will turn her into a magic apple tree.
The first bell, nothing really happens, but very dramatic.
The tree bears fruit, and the second bell...
Oh! Excitement mounts!
The morning sun touches the fruit turning it into a new pair of red shoes And number three, the circle of life!
And then what?
Regina will be the most beautiful person in the kingdom.
Forever.
I don't care about her, what about Snow White?
The tree withers and dies, and so does Snow White.
No!
Yes!
Oh, I'm rotten! I'm dying.
Why don't you come back and play?
Not so fast.
It's gonna hurt.
Oh yeah! Stretch it out.
Uh-oh.
Smoke! Smoke!
We're here, bitch. Are you okay?
Yeah.
I never thought I'd say this, but I'm so glad to be chubby and green again.
Seven to one. I like those odds.
Let's go.
We like those odds even better.
Are you up to this, muchacho?
You finally pulled out Excalibur.
Oh, yes, yes. I did it. That's exactly how it went down.
Here you go Merlin. You're gonna need these.
Thanks.
Here comes the sun.
Now let's all get dwarfed.
Ah, this is where your fairy tale ends, trolls.
You missed.
Au revoir, mirror!
Finally.
It's a good day to break a curse.
Eternal Beauty.
I'm sorry Snow White.
Ahhh!
Extraordinary! No more carrots for me.
Woah! We're back!
Yippee!
Papa?
Snow White?
Oh papa!
Snow!
Wait.
Where's Merlin?
I'm so sorry.
He sacrificed himself to stop Regina.
Merlin, no!
Merlin!
I thought you were gone.
You're the most beautiful woman in the world.
With my eyes open or closed.
No.
I got Merlined.
You're a prince, Merlin.
Yeah, that Merlin.
The one who's not really your type.
I kind of liked the short and green Merlin.
But I'm still that Merlin inside.
Yes, yes you are.
Any idea who that girl is?
♪ I'm feeling good today
♪ Aint nothing standing in my way
♪ I wouldn't change a thing
♪ I must get hot walking in a dream
♪ Everybody wants to stop and stare
♪ People talk but I don't care
♪ Everybody wants to stop and stare
♪ People talk but I don't care
♪ Don't matter what you think or see
♪ There's no-one I would rather be
♪ Take me as I am this is me
♪ There's no-one I would rather be
♪ It don't matter
♪ It don't matter to me
♪ It don't matter
♪ Take me as I am this is me
♪ I learned to let it go
♪ 'Cause I'm comfortable
♪ In my own skin
♪ I learned to dance in the suits I'm in
♪ Everybody wants to stop and stare
♪ People talk but I don't care
♪ Everybody wants to stop and stare
♪ People talk but I don't care
♪ Don't matter what you think or see
♪ There's no-one I would rather be
♪ Take me as I am this is me
♪ There's no-one I would rather be
♪ It don't matter
♪ It don't matter to me
♪ It don't matter
♪ Take me as I am this is me
♪ I'm comfortable in my own skin
♪ Learn to dance in suits I'm in
♪ I'm comfortable...
Huh?
Ooh. Not Again!
Category:Transcripts