Bold and Brash

Bold and Brash is a Season 1 episode of Squiddie's School.
==Characters==
*Squidward
*Patrick
*Mr. Krabs
*Sandy
*SpongeBob
*Art School Manager
*Plankton
*Pearl
*Larry
*Bubble Bass
*CrazySponge
*Matchy
*Government Agents
==Synopsis==
When Squidward paints a picture that comes under flame by his class, the government discovers that the painting is worth a fortune.
==Transcript==
[episode begins with Squidward walking to the school with his key in his tentacle]
Squidward: Perhaps the second day of school will be better. [as he goes to unlock the door, the manager of the school opens it from inside, banging Squidward on his head.]
Manager: Hi- oh, sorry about that, Tentacles.
Squidward: Ugh…
Manager: Well, you do look more handsome after a whack by the door, hehe.
Patrick: [appears behind him] I 100% agree!
Squidward: Patrick, what the flying whore are you doing here? Class doesn’t start until 20 minutes!
Patrick: Well, you know what they say, the early bird catches the worm… your worm.
[Squidward shrieks and runs inside while the rest of the class comes up to the school]
Eugene: Mr. Squidward? Mr. Squidward? [knocks] It’s us.
Bubble Bass: Oh boy, that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fanfiction REALLY hit the spot.
[Squidward comes back outside]
Squidward: Well, now that my safety is good now, come inside, class. [continues to stand at the door waiting for his class to come in. Once they all come in, he slams the door behind him and gets started.] Alright, class, I hope you’ve had some time last night to do some drawing of your own! Practice never hurts.
SpongeBob: I did!
Squidward: Great, SpongeBob. How about you come up and present it to us?
SpongeBob: I’d rather that Sandy presents herself to us. Maybe I could even draw those too. [Sandy slaps him as he decides to go up and show off his work] Well, here’s my drawing of a 100 dollar bill.
Larry: Wow, that’s pretty good.
SpongeBob: Thanks! Yeah, what I did was- [gets cut off by Eugene who blasts up from his seat and knocks him, causing the dollar to slowly fall to the ground]
Eugene: Aha! Looks just like real money.
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, that’s not a real dollar.
Eugene: You can bet ye sweet ass I can pass it off as one.
Squidward: But that’s illegal.
Eugene: Pffft, you think I care about the law? I’d force SpongeBob to work 24/7 while I’m whipping him.
SpongeBob: [jumps up] You know, I think I’d like that. Only if Sandy was doing it to me, though.
Sandy: SpongeBob, what the flying nutsack is wrong with you? I told you, we’re friends. Nothing more, nothing less.
SpongeBob: Aww… [his nose goes from straight out to curved down]
Squidward: Anyone else?
Sheldon: I’d like to show mine.
Squidward: Sure, Plankton.
Eugene: [whispers as Plankton gets up to the desk] Heheh… he can’t draw for shit.
Sheldon: Behold. My death ray. [close up of drawing]
Squidward: Uhh… Sheldon? I don’t think that’s a death ray.
Sheldon: Of course it is. It’s definitely not my hot computer wife Karen processing info on her hard drive. OH MAMA!
Squidward: [shoves him along] There, there. [continues] Anyway, you people can’t draw at all. Seriously, you all blow. PATRICK, DO NOT TAKE THAT COMMENT IN A DIFFERENT MEANING!
Patrick: Well, uh, heheh, but… nevermind.
Squidward: [keeps eye on him for a couple seconds as he shifts back to the rest of the class] Why can’t you guys learn from me? See, look at this. [turns around while he hastily paints a painting using yellow and teal paint. Several of the students giggle while he’s painting as Squidwards starts to sweat. He then finishes and shows the painting Bold and Brash from “Artist Unknown.”] Viola! Take a look for yourself!
[the whole class stares in shock for a second, as they shift their eyes to each other. They then all start laughing at the top of their lungs.]
Squidward: What? Is… is it good?
Pearl: No, it’s not. [continues laughing] What is that?
Squidward: ...me.
Patrick: WOW! He even looks good in art form!
[manager barges in]
Manager: Come on now, folks. [starts to lecture class] I was simply trying to have a nice pleasure session in my office, but instead, I got interrupted because you silly, immature students, decided to cause an upr- [glances at Squidward’s painting] NOW WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? [starts rolling on the floor laughing]
Squidward: Why, it’s Bold and Brash!
Manager: [muffled laughter] More like… BELONGS IN THE TRASH! [whole class starts bursting in laughter again.]
Squidward: Come on now…
Manager: Hehe… let me just take that out of its misery. [stumbles back up and snatches the painting from Squidward, launching it into a shredder before walking back to his office. The whole class continues to laugh at Squidward’s terrible painting]
SpongeBob: You know, maybe not all art deserves to be preserved. It’s alright Squidward, it’s just a painting.
Eugene: Yeah. But I mean, if it was worth something, then I would still keep it. [at that moment, a couple of government workers kick down the door and investigate the classroom.]
Agent #1: We gotta find it!
Agent #2: It’s worth a fortune.
Eugene: Ooh, fortune! [as he gets up to wander the classroom, one of the agents plows right through him, sending him to the ground. Sheldon then gets up to ridicule Krabs, but he’s met with instant karma as he goes flying after getting knocked by another agent. One of the agentsgoes over to Squidward]
Agent #1: You, sir! We need your help. We have reason to believe you are in the possession of a highly valuable work of art. I think it’s called, uh, Old and Trash?
Squidward: [spark of enthusiasm] Oh, you mean Bold and Brash?
Agent #1: Yeah, that one. We really need it. It’s worth millions of dollars. Imagine how much we could expand social security and help all of the poor sea creatures in Bikini Bottom?
Squidward: Ah, a fellow socialist! Wait, how do you know it’s here? [second agent comes over]
Agent #2: It’s called the Patriot Act, Mr. Tentacles. Basically, the government has access to all the surveillance they want 24/7. For exa- [gets cut off by increasingly loud noise in background]
Matchy: OHHHHHH ASHWENDHHSHSHHSS EEEUUUUAGGGH!!!! [sits in satisfaction as she pulls her pants back up]
Squidward: MATCHY! Not again with this grossly injudicious behavior! School is a learning environment, not a pleasure zone! Take your things and go to the manager’s office. [points to the door as Matchy gets her stuff and makes her way to the office]
Agent #2: So basically, if you were a true Bernie Bro, you would help us with this cause. In fact, we’ll give you a pretty good cut of the money for your troubles.
Squidward: Like what? [agent 1 unveils a suitcase filled with stacks of money while Eugene comes over and snatches it]
Eugene: Hah! Suck it. [runs off]
Agent #1: Eh, that’s a decent estimate.
Squidward: Well… sure. [goes off to the shredder and tries to find the pieces, but there's a tube in the back that sucks Squidward’s nose in.]
Agent #2: Everything good, Mr. Tentacles? [Squidward gets his nose out]
Squidward: Um… we may have a problem. So uh, my boss threw the painting in the shredder and now I can’t recover the remains.
SpongeBob: Welp, Squidward’s screwed.
Patrick: Can I be the one screwing him? Please?
Agent #1: Hm… put your nose back in there, son. We might be able to find out where it leads too.
Squidward: I don’t… AGGHHHH! [gets shoved back in where he gets sucked all the way to the end of the tube. He presses his eyes out which reveals an unsettling image.] Uh…. SIR?! [shows the manager's office where he is watching a video of sea coral while making clicking news. Matchy is chained up to one of the walls. Squidward then spots his ripped painting next to him, as the manager grabs from the pile and uses them to clean up.]
Manager: Oh… uh… it’s not what it looks like!
Squidward: Sir, why are you masturbating during your job? AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY PAINTING?!
[government agents walk in. One of them faints upon entry]
Agent #2: This is… wow. [turns to Squidward] Welp, that’s a shame. We could’ve used that money in so many good ways.
Squidward: Can’t I just make another one?
Agent #2: No, that would decrease the value tremendously. I think it’s best that we just leave. [drags the other agent out. Squidward just collapses onto the ground as the agent drags the other one through the classroom.]
SpongeBob: What happened? Why was Mr. Tentacles scream-
Agent #2: Don’t worry, kid.
Patrick: Well, I for one am worrying about Squidward. [gets up and trots over to the office to which he screams in the same manner Squidward did. Cuts to an outside zoomed out shot of the school as the episode ends]
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