Mother and Child Reunion/Quotes

All: A simpson got into college [3 times]
Bart: And I just never applied!
Ned: Which college are you picking? [whispering] Bob Jones [2 times]
Lisa: None. [everybody gasps.]
Marge: Quit joking!
Ned: She's not joking! [cut to Marge's phone, showing a video]
Marge: Which college are you going to?
Lisa: None.
Lisa: Things have changed since I was a kid. College costs a fortune, and does it really do any good? All you get is a piece of paper with your name on it. And it's written in Latin, so the only people who can actually read it are dead Romans and Catholic priests. And last I checked, none of them are handing out jobs.
Lisa: Okay. I enjoyed that story, but I got to know, how much is really true?
Werner Herzog: Let me consult the oracle.
[Herzog pulls out a crystal ball. Nate Silver appears in it.]
Nate Silver: Okay, Lisa, I'll give it to you straight. You've got a 98% chance of going to college, 83% Ivy League, 47% chance of a boyfriend, 72% chance of a girlfriend.
Lisa: Oh! I like those odds!