Natural Born Kissers/Quotes

:(Bart and Lisa are in the backyard using Grampa's metal detector)
:Lisa: What are we looking for, anyway?
:Bart: Pirate booty! What else?
:(Bart starts daydreaming about pirates burying treasure on a desert island)
:Captain: Arrrr! Now we bury the treasure!
:Sissy Pirate: Uh, Captain? Captain, I know we usually bury the treasure, but what if this time, we use it to buy things? You know, uh, things we like.
:(The captain shoots him, then looks at the other pirates, who start digging furiously in the sand)
:Captain: Arrrr! We'll dig up the treasure in seven yarrr! I've drawn a map on this cracker, which Polly will hold for safe keepin'!
:(A parrot on the captain's shoulder takes the cracker in its beak, then looks around nervously)
:(Back to reality)
:Bart: So you see, there's treasure everywhere!
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:Wiggum: Here you go, boy. Get the scent. (the police dog sniffs Homer's underwear, becomes shocked, and runs off whimpering.) That's a shame. He had one day left 'til retirement.
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:Homer: Look, honey, I clipped on this tie all by myself!
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:(Everyone at the stadium sees Homer and Marge naked.)
:Homer: (Mockingly) Why don't you take a picture? It lasts longer.
:(Everyone starts taking pictures)
:Homer: D'OH!
:Marge: It would have to be Camera Day.
:(Marge and Homer shrug and wave at the people photographing them.)
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:Marge: This is so naughty, coming back to our old love nest!
:Homer: It hasn't changed since that magical evening when I knocked you up.
:Marge: We sure drank a lot that night.
:Homer: Yeah, I was afraid Bart would be born a dimwit! Hahaha!
:Marge: Heh, heh, mmm...yeah.
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:(People are wondering what is in the windmill)
:Moe: Who cares what it is? Let's monoxide it.
:(He sticks a hose connected to a car gas tank into the windmill)
:Homer: Oh, why are people always trying to kill me?
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:Lisa: Wow! An alternate ending to "Casablanca." Bart, this could be priceless!
:Bart: Priceless like a mother's love, or the good kind of priceless?
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:Homer: Hello, everybody.
:Bart: Hey, you're back. Did you ‘Rock the Casbah?’
:Homer: Bart! …Yes.
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:Bart: Whoa! Excellent haul!
:Lisa: But it's all trash.
:Bart: Exactly. Now there's nothing left out there but treasure.
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:Marge: You don't think there's anything wrong with what we're doing, do you?
:Homer: I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong.
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:Homer: Now they did say bed and breakfast, right?
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:Carl: Hey Homer, see you at Moe's?
:Lenny: He put new electrical tape on the cushions!
:Homer: Sorry, guys. Marge and I are spending the weekend at a bed 'n' breakfast.
:Carl: Oh, trying to jump-start the old marriage, huh?
:Lenny: Can I come?
:Homer: Nah, it'd just be awkward. What with the sex and all.
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:Bart: Okay, here's the deal. Crowns and doubloons are mine, snuff boxes and cameos are yours. Now, as for wands and scepters…
:Lisa: It's a bottle cap.
:Bart: Jewel-encrusted?
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:Farmer: If somebody's in here, you're in for some serious ass forkin'!
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:Abe: That's my brass knee! Steel hip! That one's news to me!
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:Marge: Aww, look, Homie, our wedding cake!
:Homer: You mean there's been cake in our freezer for eleven years? Why was I not informed?
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:Homer: Hey, look what was in here! A program from that guy's funeral.
:Marge: You mean Frank Grimes?
:Homer: Yeah! Yeah! Whatever happened to that guy?
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:Homer: Right now I'm drunk on love… and beer.
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:Marge: When we got married, is this how you thought we'd be spending our Saturdays? Driving out to the boondocks to buy a refrigerator motor?
:Homer: Naw, I never thought I'd live this long.
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:Sideshow Mel: Dear Lord, look at that blimp! He's hanging from a balloon!
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:Gil: They stole the balloon! I've been living in there!
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:(Homer and Marge are trapped inside a mini-golf obstacle.)
:Maude: Rod, you've got small girlish hands, reach in and fish it out!
:Marge: A hand!
:Homer: Eeee!
:(Homer whacks Rod)
:Rod: Ooow, daddy, something attacked me!
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:Carl: How d'you do ma'am.
:Lenny: Hope this evening finds you well.
:Marge: Oh knock it off you perverts.
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:Bart: What's with the love thang?
:Marge: Let's just say the country air did us good.
:(An audience cheers and wolf whistles)
:Homer: Bart, I told you not to leave that TV on.
:(Audience says "Wuh ooh!")
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:(Santa's Little Helper walks into the bedroom.)
:Homer: Look who's here!
:Marge: Oooh! Who's a good boy?
:Homer: He's the best boy!
:Marge: Oh yes, he is, yes, he is!
:(The dog exits)
:Homer: Hey Marge, wasn't that great when the dog came in here?
:Marge: Oh yeah, he's really special!
:Homer: I love that dog!
:Marge: I love him too. Good night.
:Homer: Good night.
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:(Bart, Lisa and Grampa watch the countdown at the start of the alternate ending to Casablanca)
:Grampa: Here comes two!
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:Homer: Now listen carefully: I want you to pull on the thing that's near the other thing.
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:Homer: (flying hot air balloon) Okay, I think I've figured this thing out. You can go up and down, but not side-to-side, or ... back in time.
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:Chief Wiggum: Boy, I'll tell ya. They only come out at night. Or in this case, uh, the daytime.
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:Marge: Whatever happened to Grampa? He was supposed to baby-sit.
:(Cut to Grampa in the Flanders' house watching Rod and Todd play checkers)
:Grampa: (to Rod) Now you got her, Bart. Jump Lisa's king.
:Rod: I'm not Bart, I'm Rod Flanders.
:Grampa: There you go with that smart mouth! (to Todd) Lisa, run outside and cut me a switch.
:Todd: Yes, sir!
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:Ned: (gasps) It was people! People soiled our green!
:Maude: And now they're out there somewhere, naked as the day God made them! Oh!
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:Helen: You've got to catch them!
:Moe: (Imitating Helen) Think of the children! Won't somebody please think of the children?!
es:Natural Born Kissers/Frases