Buzzpons

In this commercial, Keyz sells a twist on the standard feminine hygiene product.
== Script ==
Ladies, we here at The Awful Show sympathize with what you need to go through every month. The bleeding, the cramping, the mood swings. We wish you didn't need to go through that, but wishing won't make it happen. So we have done the next best thing. New from Awful Show Industries comes a break through in feminine hygiene bigger than anything before it. That's why you need to try...
Buzzpons! 
Buzzpons are a techological advancement which combines the softness and absorbency of a tampon with the orgasm-inducing power of a vibrator. Each buzzpon contains a small disposable vibrating unit with enough power to operate consistently for up to 4 hours. Just set the buzzpon's intensity dial to low, high, or variable, insert it with the patented smooth touch applicator, and enjoy the pulsating extacy while you discharge. Buzzpons are safe for everyday use, so you don't even need to be on the rag to enjoy them! 
While we at Awful Show Industries can't get rid of your period for you, we can make it much more enjoyable!
Buzzpons! 
Now your menstruating with power! 
Buzzpons! 
Available at all Rite-Aid, Eckerd, Walgreen's, and Castle Megastore locations. 
== Notes of Interest ==
* This is one of the few commercial that actual stores are named instead of altered ones.
Category:Faux_Commercials