SCP-493

Item #: SCP - 493
Object Class: Brown Special Containment Procedures: 
SCP - 493 is to be kept within a very warm fridge, the dimensions of said fridge is to be measured with a ruler every 5 days to prevent the rulers in the facility from being unused.
It is imperative that no one smaller than 5ft 4 is to make contact with the subject, and I'm talking to you specifically Emmanuel you fat cunt. 
Edit Log 1: Emmanuel has been detained and depromoted until further inspection says otherwise.
Description:
SCP-493 Appears to be some sort of cum residue from the 80s, it is brown in colour and very slimy/stinky.
Lead Scientist and specialist in slop/slime anomalous entities 'Big Gingus' inspected SCP-493 with his cartoonishly large magnifying glass and quote, said "this isnae like any slop/slime I have had seen before in my professional field in the slop/slime industry"Those who stand next to SCP-493 for 20 Bosnian seconds will experience a great unease, comparable to how you feel when you may perhaps be maybe talking in an big assembly perhaps, or waiting for an macdonalds burger meal. You begin to feel the time around you, move. Fast. Very fast. 1 Second begins to feel like 2 entire seconds. Time is SLIME time is SLIME time is SLIME
If one is to stand in the presence of SCP-493 for 2 Hours, their bones will instantly turn into mere crums, shattering instantly. However, the victim is kept in stasis, alive, and aware, as one bone, and then another, is crushed and destroyed, comparable to walkers crisps when you crush the paclet. The Slime will then make some sort of stasis link with the host, and consume them. They become one with the slop/slime.
Field Log:
We decided to ask the slop/slime some questions.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------D-CLASS 3: Hello, There, SCP-493 aka slop/slimeSubject: D-CLASS 3: What is it like being slime (and or slop?)Subject: D-CLASS 3: Opinion on Monster Munch crims? (crisps)Subject:
 We didn't really think to tell the D-Class that it is mere slime/slop and cannot communicate, he was asking these questions for hours it was really funny.