Lucy's Lover (Transcript)

Barhambots	-	Episode 2
== "Lucy's Lover" ==
=== Written by Connor Banjoper. ===
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(The episode opens up with a view of Lynn Lake Road, in the main district of Barhamsville on May 14, 2028 AD, at 1:36 PM. Then, the camera cuts to Lucy and Luan walking down a sidewalk along the aforementioned road.)
{LUCY} It sure is nice to stroll down the street on a nice spring afternoon.
{LUAN} Totally! This is when the warm weather springs into action. (Giggles.) Get it?
{LUCY} I get it.
{LUAN} And to make things better, summer is coming soon, and I can't wait to go on a vacation!
{LUCY} Me neither! This is our first year of existence, so we still have our whole lives ahead of us.
{LUAN} I can't wait for the rest of my life!
{LUCY} I sure wonder how our lives are gonna be.
{LUAN} I bet they're gonna be awesome. Hey! Why don't we go to Cindy's? I hear they're having a 3 for $3 deal.
{LUCY} You mean the restaurant named Cindy's?
{LUAN} Of course. It's like the Barhamsvillian version of Wendy's.
{LUCY} Oh, that's right. We can't use their trademarks because we're on a TV show.
{LUAN} Yeah, and we don't wanna get sued.
(The scene cuts to an exterior view of Cindy's before cutting to the inside of it, where Lucy and Luan are enjoying their meals.)
{LUAN} One of the best parts about living in Barhamsville is that we have a lot more freedom than the rest of the United States.
{LUCY} I know. It's especially amazing when you consider that Virginia is one of the strictest states in the country.
{LUAN} It is?
{LUCY} That's what Connor Banjoper told me.
(Lucy and Luan continue eating their food as the camera cuts to Gertorn the Grizzly Bear entering Cindy's. He walks up to the counter and greets Samar the Chinchilla.)
{GERTORN} Whassup, Samar?
{SAMAR} Hey, Gertorn. How's it going?
{GERTORN} Pretty good. I've recently applied for a job at Classic Tavern, and I hope they accept my application.
{SAMAR} Well, good luck, Gertorn. They could use a guy like you.
{GERTORN} I'll bet they could. I think I will be one of the best they ever had, and that's including future generations.
{SAMAR} I sure hope you get the job.
{GERTORN} Me too.
(Then, the camera cuts back to Lucy and Luan, who have just finished eating their foods down to the last crumb.)
{LUCY} That sure was delicious, wasn't it?
{LUAN} You bet it was. I've never felt so warm on the inside.
{LUCY} This girls' day out was fantastic! Well, I'd hate to end it early, but my shift at Classic Tavern starts at 7:07 PM, and I gotta get ready.
{LUAN} Oh, it's alright. We live at the same apartment, so I can help you get ready.
{LUCY} Thanks, Luan, but I think I can handle it by myself.
{LUAN} Oh, okay.
(The scene then cuts to Classic Tavern at 8:05 PM that night. Lucy is running the bar with Serena the Skunk, where several patrons are drinking various sodas.)
{LUCY} I love this job. The employees get free food and drinks, and we get paid $868 a week!
{SERENA} I could keep this job forever, unless there was a better job that paid even more money per week.
{LUCY} Where do they even get this money anyway?
{SERENA} I heard it's funded by Connor Banjoper. He made a lot of money from his first film productions, so I guess that's how he got Barhamsville to be how it is today.
(The camera then cuts to Gertorn in the kitchen with the manager, Bruno Floyd.)
{MR. FLOYD} Alright, Gertorn. Since this is your first day on the job, I'm gonna go over the basics with you. As you can tell, this here is the kitchen, where we cook meals for the customers outside the bar.
{GERTORN} That's nice.
(Mr. Floyd and Gertorn walk towards the bar.)
{MR. FLOYD} And, of course, we have the bar, where we serve soft beverages to the customers who just want to drink stuff, and not have a complete meal.
{GERTORN} Okay.
{MR. FLOYD} Now, these are your fellow bartenders, Lucy the Cat, and Serena the Skunk.(Shows Gertorn to Lucy and Roxane.)
{LUCY} Hello!
{SERENA} Nice to meet you!
(Gertorn's eyes widen up as he notices Lucy.)
{GERTORN} (Quietly.) Woah!
(Gertorn's version of "Girl Be Selling Sunshine" by Panda from "We Bare Bears" begins to play as Gertorn notices how attractive Lucy is. From Gertorn's perspective, we see Lucy do a hair flip. Then, the camera briefly cuts to Gertorn staring at Lucy in awe before cutting back to Lucy, who smiles and waves at Gertorn.)
{MR. FLOYD} Gertorn?
(Mr. Floyd waves his right hand in front of Gertorn's face.)
{MR. FLOYD} Gertorn, you there?
{GERTORN} Uh, yeah, I am! Lucy and Serena? Which one is the blue cat?
{MR. FLOYD} That would be Lucy.
{GERTORN} Okay.
{MR. FLOYD} So, anyway, as a bartender, all you have to do is serve the beverages to the customers who ask for it. Got it?
{GERTORN} Yes, sir!
{MR. FLOYD} Very well, then, Good luck!
(Mr. Floyd exits the scene as Gertorn walks up to Lucy.)
{GERTORN} Hi! I'm Gertorn.
{LUCY} Hi! I'm Lucy. Nice to meet you.
{GERTORN} Nice to meet you too. By the way, did anyone tell you that you're very pretty?
{LUCY} (Giggles.) Why, thank you. I have been known to attract many guys with my natural looks.
{GERTORN} You're welcome. I think I'm one of those guys.
{LUCY} So, you're new here, right?
{GERTORN} Yeah. I wanted to get a job that could get me a lot of money, and I heard that this place pays $868 a week.
{LUCY} Yeah! I've worked here for over one-and-a-half months, and I've been making a fortune.
{SERENA} Yeah, we can thank Connor Banjoper for funding this place.
{GERTORN} Lucy, I find you very attractive, and I'm interested in dating you. Would you like to go on a date with me sometime?
{LUCY} Well, I am available on Saturday night. Maybe we could do something then?
{GERTORN} Okay. Saturday it is.
{HUBERT BARAGONA} Yo, polar bear! Can I get a refill please?
{GERTORN} Yes, sir. (Takes Hubert's cup to refill it.) By the way, I'm actually a grizzly bear, contrary to my appearance.
{HUBERT BARAGONA} You mean, like you're an albino?
{GERTORN} Maybe. I don't know. (Hands Hubert his refilled cup.)
{HUBERT BARAGONA} Thanks!
{GERTORN} Welcome.
{LUCY} So, do you think this job was a good choice, with the free food and drinks, and the high salaries?
{GERTORN} Yeah. For both of those reasons, and my future girlfriend.
{LUCY} Well, I'm not sure about that, but a girl can hope.
{GERTORN} Okay.
(We then see a timecard that reads "Six Hours Later...." before cutting to Classic Tavern at 2:08 AM the next morning. Lucy, Gertorn, and Serena are still working at the bar.)
{LUCY} Man, the night shift sure is tiring, isn't it?
{GERTORN} Yeah, but no problem. I can live with being nocturnal.
{SERENA} Me too. Did you know that we skunks have special night vision that allows us to find prey anywhere during the night?
{LUCY} Is that true?
{SERENA} It sure is.
{LUCY} Interesting.
{GERTORN} So, Lucy. I heard that this coming Saturday is something called the Kickin' In The Sticks Dance. Would you like to be my date for that event?
{LUCY} Well, I've never dated anyone before, but I would be flattered to have you as my first date. I will gladly accept your offer.
{GERTORN} Awesome!
(Lucy, Gertorn, and Serena continue working as the scene cuts to Quartz Moose Villa at 12:23 PM that afternoon. Lucy and Luan are hanging out in their apartment.)
{LUAN} So, how was work last night?
{LUCY} Well, it was pretty good, actually. We have a new employee at Classic Tavern. His name is Gertorn, he is a white grizzly bear, and he appears to have a crush on me.
{LUAN} Ooh! You've got a boyfriend now? That's cool!
{LUCY} Well, we're not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend yet, but we do have a date for Saturday night.
{LUAN} Isn't this Saturday night the night of the Kickin' In The Sticks Dance?
{LUCY} Yes, it is.
{LUAN} You two can totally dance with each other there.
{LUCY} I hope it goes well.
{LUAN} I wonder who the DJ is gonna be. I've been thinking about becoming a DJ one day. It sounds really interesting.
{LUCY} Wow, really? That sounds cool.
{LUAN} I know, right? Think about how much money I could make from it.
{LUCY} I think this year's DJ is gonna be Blue Axel.
{LUAN} You mean the DJ who looks quite similar to Connor Banjoper? That's cool!
{LUCY} I also heard that Skinnydog and Luna Bamfield are gonna be there too.
{LUAN} Really? Cool! I love their music!
{LUCY} So do I.
{LUAN} Hey, let's see what's on TV today!
{LUCY} Sure!
(Lucy picks up the TV remote and turns on the TV, where Barhamsville News is coming on.)
{THEODORE COOPER} (On TV.) Breaking news! Last night, a group of five Steam Community users were caught in a high speed police chase after the group attempted to massacre a furry convention in Detroit, Michigan.
(The news program cuts to footage of the aforementioned group of Steam users being arrested by the Detroit Police Department on the outskirts of Detroit.)
{THEODORE COOPER} (Narrating.) The Steam Community users involved in the crime have been identified as Lily McFluffy Butt, Killroy Freeman, That Blu Supernova, Gerald the Black Dwarf, and Detective Neo/Johnathan.
(The news program then shows the mugshots of the five arrested Steam users, courtesy of the Detroit Police Department.)
{THEODORE COOPER} (Narrating.) These hoodlums will be doing hard time in the Detroit County slammer.
(The camera cuts back to Lucy and Luan watching the news program.)
{LUCY} Man, why are those Steamers always stirring up trouble? They're like a North American ISIS.
{LUAN} I don't know what they're all steamed about. (Giggles.) Get it?
{LUCY} Yeah, I know. Why do they always target people who contradict their beliefs?
{LUAN} That's exactly what you'd expect terrorists to do, right?
{LUCY} Yeah. I heard they hate anything that has to do with anthropmorphic animals, so I'd steer clear of them.
(Silence for three seconds before the scene cuts to The Bowling Stone at 8:02 PM, two nights before the KITS Dance. Luan, Rags, Samar, and Ricardo are bowling on Lane #31 out of 50.)
{RAGS} You guys ready for the dance on Saturday night?
{LUAN} Totally. We're gonna have a ball. (Giggles.) Get it?
{SAMAR} I sure wish Gertorn was here with us. If only he didn't take the night shift.
{RICARDO} Yeah, and he also has the hots for one of their female employees.
{LUAN} Yeah, I think Lucy and Gertorn are gonna be a match made in Heaven.
{RAGS} It's okay, guys. We can still have fun with who's here right now. Anyway, it's your turn, Luan.
{LUAN} Oh, okay. (Walks to the bowling lane.)
{RICARDO} So, Rags. Are you available to go on a date with me to the dance?
{RAGS} Well, I never really had plans for a date, but I'll consider it.
{SAMAR} (To Ricardo, slightly annoyed.) Dude, I wanted to ask Rags out.
{RICARDO} Well, sorry, man. I asked first.
{RAGS} It's okay, boys. You can both dance with me at the dance. It'll still be fun, right?
{SAMAR} I guess.
{LUAN} (Walks back to the seats.) Wow! I didn't think I could get a strike that easily. I guess you could say I pinned them down. (Giggles.) Get it?
{RAGS} Yes. Okay, it's my turn, so here I go. (Walks to the bowling lane.)
{RICARDO} So, who's gonna be our DJ for the Kickin' In The Sticks Dance?
{LUAN} Lucy told me it was probably gonna be Blue Axel.
{SAMAR} Blue Axel? Cool!
{RICARDO} I sure like the songs he plays on his radio.
{SAMAR} Who could forget that one song he played called.... "The Titanium Twist"?
{LUAN} Oh, that song is awesome! I think every single Barhambot loves that song.
{RICARDO} What about Faina the Cheetah? She doesn't get excited about it.
{LUAN} Well, I'm sure Faina likes "The Titanium Twist", but I think that since she's a goth girl, she doesn't show it.
{SAMAR} Oh, that makes sense.
{LUAN} So, looks like we're all eager about this dance. What's not to look forward to?
(Then, a timecard reading "Saturday, May 20, 2028 AD; 7:55 PM." is shown before the scene cuts to the KITS dance, which is about to begin. Lucy and Luan are wearing fancy dresses for the occasion.)
{LUCY} Do you think these dresses look good on us?
{LUAN} Yeah! I like the silky texture on this dress.
{LUCY} I think we look beautiful.
{LUAN} I'd say we look pretty good. (Giggles.) Get it?
{LUCY} I wonder where Gertorn is.
{LUAN} Can't wait to meet him.
(Then, the scene cuts to Blue Axel at the DJ Station with Skinnydog Bamfield and his wife, Luna next to him.)
{BLUE AXEL} Well, looks like we're all set for this dance. I think this annual dance was a great idea, that way, the Barhambots can get to know each other a little more.
{LUNA} Yeah, and we're gonna have more male Barhambots next year, so each of the female Barhambots can have a better job at finding dates.
{SKINNYDOG} Earlier this week, I found an idea for a song we can write for next year's dance.
{LUNA} Really? What's it called?
{SKINNYDOG} Well, I haven't found a title for it quite yet, but I'm gonna find an organization whose abbreviation is MMB. I also got the idea to put the number 474 in the song's lyrics.
{LUNA} Where'd you get that idea?
{SKINNYDOG} I got it from this license plate. (Holds up a license plate from Washington that reads "474-MMB" on it.)
{LUNA} Where'd you get that license plate?
{SKINNYDOG} I took it off of some guy's car earlier this week. I had the wrench and everything.
{LUNA} Skinnydog, why would you do something like that?!?
{SKINNYDOG} Well, I had to have something to use as a cooking pan, just incase we ever ran out of actual pans, so I figured.... why not use a license plate?
{LUNA} Skinnydog, that is illegal, you know!
{SKINNYDOG} Well, you know, I heard that the owner of the car I took this from was a man who was rude to a female employee at some chili restaurant in Seattle, Washington, so this would pretty much be karma for him.
{LUNA} (Sighs.) Whatever! Just quit taking license plates off of people's cars! That's not good!
{SKINNYDOG} Okay, Luna. (Silent for four seconds.) I love you.
{LUNA} Aw, I love you too, Skinnydog.
(Skinnydog and Luna make out as the scene cuts to an hour later, where Blue Axel is playing "The Titanium Twist" by Connor Banjoper. Most of the Barhambots are dancing to the music. Then, the camera cuts to Gertorn dancing with Lucy. They appear to be doing a foxtrot dance.)
{LUCY} You're such a great dancer, Gertorn!
{GERTORN} Hey, what can I say? I guess I'm just into the music.
{LUCY} Man, these past few nights have been so amazing. I wish I had met you earlier.
{GERTORN} I wish the same about you. You're so beautiful, regardless of your clothing.
{LUCY} Why, thanks! I'm glad you took the time to appreciate me.
{GERTORN} Don't mention it. I think I've found my one true love.
{LUCY} Me too!
(Then, the camera cuts to Rags getting a drink from the Strawberry Fanta bowl. Luan comes to her.)
{LUAN} Have you seen Gertorn the Bear? He's such a gentleman!
{RAGS} I know! I think Lucy has found her Prince Charming.
{LUAN} Maybe so. I think they're gonna be dating for a while after tonight.
{RAGS} Are they having a great time like we are?
{LUAN} I'll bet they are! We're all having a great time.... except I don't know about Faina. She's always such a downer when it comes to parties.
(The camera briefly cuts to Faina the Cheetah sitting by a plant pot.)
[FAINA} (Blows an apathetic raspberry.)
(The camera cuts back to Luan and Rags at the concessions table.)
{LUAN} She's such a moody individual. Just because she's a goth girl, that shouldn't mean she can't have fun.
{RAGS} Maybe she just acts that way because she chooses to.
{LUAN} I don't understand why goth girls have to be so apathetic.
{RAGS} There are some perky goth girls.... but Faina's not one of them.
{LUAN} I wish Faina would just lighten up for once. You know, show some amusement.
{RAGS} I have an idea! (Takes out a piece of paper and writes on it for about 10 seconds.) There we go! Give this to the DJ, and then Faina will get pepped up.
{LUAN} Okay! (Takes the paper and walks towards the DJ station.)
(At the DJ station, Blue Axel is selecting the next song to play after the current one has finished, while Skinnydog and Luna are making out with each other. Luan walks up to the DJ station, folds the paper, and tosses it into the station. Luan walks away as Skinnydog and Luna notice the paper.)
{SKINNYDOG} What's that?
{LUNA} Well, let's see.
(Luna picks up the paper and unfolds it. She and Skinnydog read the paper and get interested.)
{LUNA} Ooh! That's a good choice!
{SKINNYDOG} Yeah, let's tell Blue Axel!
(Skinnydog and Luna walk up to Blue Axel and get his attention. Then, they show him the paper, and Blue Axel is interested.)
{BLUE AXEL} Ooh! That's a great idea! I'll save it for 11:45 PM.
(The camera cuts back to Faina the Cheetah sitting by a plant pot. Luan and Rags walk up to her.)
{LUAN}} Hey, Faina! Great dance we're having, eh?
{RAGS} You know, it's not too late to change your mind about dancing.
{FAINA} I'm fine. Now, please leave me alone.
{LUAN} Come on, Faina. Don't be such a grouchy sloth. Enjoy the dance while you can.
{FAINA} I'd prefer not to.
{RAGS} Faina, have some fun for once in your life. You won't regret it.
{FAINA} I'm not the kind of person who is into fun.
{LUAN} Why not? Are you like this because of your mother? Is she abusive to you?
{FAINA} Not physically. She always insists that I do a certain thing, whether it's with her or by myself. I cannot get a break.
{RAGS} Your mother is probably trying to get you to live your life to the fullest. Don't you wanna do something with your life?
{FAINA} I have all the time in the universe. I'll be fine.
{RAGS} You know, Faina, there is a small chance that one of your favorite songs might come on the radio soon.
{FAINA} (Less moody.) Which one?
{LUAN} Well, we don't wanna ruin the surprise, but we can tell you it's gonna be a-
{RAGS} (Quickly puts her hand over Luan's mouth.) Luan! Your hint is gonna give it away!
{LUAN} (Muffled.) I'm sorry.
{RAGS} (Takes her hand off of Luan's mouth.) It's okay. Let's let Faina figure it out on her own.... if she can.
{FAINA} Whatever.
{LUAN} Okay, we'll see you soon, Faina.
{RAGS} See you!
(Luan and Rags walk away as the scene fades to the dance floor at 11:44 PM (complete with a caption to indicate it), where "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz is finishing up. When the song is over, the Barhambots (sans Faina) applaud Blue Axel as he picks up a microphone.)
{BLUE AXEL} Thank you all for enjoying these songs!
{SERENA} (Offscreen.) You're welcome!
{BLUE AXEL} Now, the next song we're gonna play was requested by Faina the Cheetah earlier tonight.
(The camera briefly cuts to Faina, who is shocked that someone requested a song under her name.)
[FAINA} What?!? I didn't request anything.
(The camera cuts back to Blue Axel.)
{BLUE AXEL} Since it happens to be close to midnight, I figured that this would be a good time to play this particular song. So, give it up for.... Michael Jackson's "Thriller"!
(The Barhambots cheer as "Thriller" by Michael Jackson starts playing. Faina excitedly gets up.)
{FAINA} Thriller?!? That's my favorite song!
(Faina runs up to the dance floor as the camera cuts to Lucy and Gertorn.)
{GERTORN} Hey, I love this song!
{LUCY} Me too! Wanna dance?
{GERTORN} As long as it's with you, Lucy!
{LUCY} Okay, then!
(All the Barhambots line up in front of the DJ station as the opening fanfare plays. Faina happily jumps in the front of the group as the Barhambots begin to dance to the song.)
{MICHAEL JACKSON} (On the radio, singing.) It's close to midnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark!
{LUCY} (To Gertorn.) You like Michael Jackson?
{GERTORN} Yeah! He makes great songs like this one!
{LUAN} Who doesn't love this song? Even Faina's dancing along!
{RAGS} I told you Faina would get excited for this song.
{LUCY} I heard Connor Banjoper loves this song too!
{GERTORN} Yeah, this is his favorite song too!
{SAMAR} This song's perfect for playing on Halloween!
{LUAN} You bet it is!
(All the Barhambots continue dancing to the song.)
{FAINA} (Singing along, out loud.) 'Cause this is Thriller.... Thriller night! And no-one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike! You know it's Thriller.... Thriller night!
(Faina continues singing as the camera cuts to Skinnydog and Luna dancing along with the Barhambots.)
{SKINNYDOG} Just like October 2016, eh, Luna?
{LUNA} Yeah, dude! This song brings back so many memories!
(The singing and dancing continues as the camera cuts to a bird's eye view of the dance floor for 10 seconds. Then, the scene cuts to a timecard that reads "9 Hours Later...." before cutting to Lucy and Gertorn walking to their homes at 8:47 AM.)
{LUCY} Last night was so amazing.
{GERTORN} Totally! I'm so glad I got to spend it with a girl.
{LUCY} You did amazing when we danced to Thriller.
{GERTORN} So did you. I guess us Barhambots have it in our blood to love Michael Jackson's "Thriller".
{LUCY} Yeah. Who wouldn't love it? It's an awesome song.
{GERTORN} So, Lucy.... After these last few nights of getting to know each other.... including last night.... will you be my girlfriend?
{LUCY} You know what? I will be your girlfriend!
{GERTORN} Thanks!
(Lucy kisses Gertorn on his lips.)
{LUCY} I love you, Papa Bear.
{GERTORN} I love you too, Kitty Cat.
{LUCY} Will you always be there for me when I need you?
{GERTORN} Of course, Lucy, I will do my best to be wherever you need me to be. I will be your Prince Charming!
{LUCY} (Delighted.) Aww....
{OFFICER STRAPP} (Offscreen.) Get that motherhugger!
(Officers Tom Strapp and Erminio Armani run up to Gertorn and grab his arms as they handcuff him.)
{GERTORN} Hey! What did I do?!?
{OFFICER ARMANI} It's not what you did; it's what you're gonna do!
{LUCY} Hey, why are you guys arresting Gertorn?
{OFFICER STRAPP} Don't you know that when a man says "I will be your Prince Charming.", it means he'll be the opposite of Prince Charming?
{LUCY} Uh.... I don't think that's true.
{OFFICER ARMANI} Three words: Allison Gappa Bottke. Look it up.
{GERTORN} Are you sure you're not just arresting me because I'm white?
{OFFICER STRAPP} No, but that makes it even worse!
{OFFICER ARMANI} Let's get down to the station, bub!
(Officers Strapp and Armani walk Gertorn towards the Barhamsville Police Station as Lucy watches in surprise.)
{LUCY} My pookie-bear would never commit a crime. I don't believe he would. I need to find out what this whole "opposite of Prince Charming" thing is about. Who was it that Officer Armani said to look up online? Allison.... who?
(Then, the scene cuts to Lucy looking at information about Allison Gappa Bottke. Lucy is surprised at what she reads.)
{LUCY} Oh.... Now, I see.... But, I'm pretty sure Gertorn wouldn't do that stuff to me.... I hope.
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==== END OF EPISODE ====