Gremlins 2: The New Batch/Transcript

[We open with the classic Looney Tunes ring as the WB shield appears with Bugs Bunny atop it. "Merrily We Roll Along" plays out until suddenly, Daffy Duck appears.]
Daffy Duck: Stop the music!
Bugs Bunny: Ehh... what's up, duck?
Daffy Duck: What's up?! I'll tell you what's up. I'm takin' charge here, that's what's up. 
[He pulls Bugs off the shield.]
Daffy Duck: Fifty years of you hoggin' the spotlight is enough. I am riding the shield from now on... (gets on the shield) because I, personally, have all the talent around here. Okay mac, let's take it from the top.
[The shield zooms out into the distance.]
Daffy Duck: (distant) Okay, far enough. Now then. Camera! Music! Sound!
[Music plays out as the shield zooms in, only to get too close and crash.]
Daffy Duck: Ho ho. Very funny. You may expect to hear from my attorneys.
[Daffy pushes the shield until the rings close around his waist.]
Daffy Duck: Hmph! Well, if I'm not gonna star in this cartoon, we might as well just start the movie. 
Bugs Bunny: Roll 'em!
[He spins Daffy around, transitioning to the movie's title card before opening to New York City. Pedestrians dodge a long black limousine as it pulls up at the same crowded Chinatown Street where Randall Peltzer first found Gizmo the Mogwai. Angle reveals that most of the stores on the block have closed -- GOING OUT OF BUSINESS signs and boarded-up windows. Forster, a sour-faced man in a business suit, gets out of the limo, followed by two beefy men, also in suits. The three big men take a big-screen TV VT and a VCR out of the car. Inside the store, Mr. Wing, the storekeeper who took Gizmo home after the Gremlins' night of carnage, was lighting a pipe while Gizmo was singing in a shrouded cage. The old man looks up as the three men sweep into the store.]
Forster: Mr. Wing? Daniel Clamp would like to speak to you.
[The men quickly set up the big-screen TV set and VCR. One of the men puts in a tape and hits some buttons, and the TV screen fills with the face of Daniel Clamp. At a young 40, he's New York's most successful real estate developer.]
Daniel Clamp: (on TV) Good morning, Mr. Wing. Let's cut right to key issues, okay? I'll increase my offer substantially. You're attached to your business. I appreciate that. I'm attached to mine. I develop the biggest buildings in New York. And you sell... little things. That's fine. Take a look.
[On the big-screen TV, the image widens to reveal an easel beside Clamp, holding an architect's render that shows the grandiose of a huge office building.]
Daniel Clamp: (on TV) "The Clamp Chinatown Centre, where business gets Oriented. "You're the only holdout. Here's what I'll do for you: A newsstand and souvenir concession in the atrium. This building will be modern from voice-activated elevators to self-cleaning ashtrays. I'm really excited about it, and I'd hate to see you miss out. Please, let us know when you've made a decision. You know, I believe there's always an area of agreement... that two people can reach.
[The Clamp Corporation's logo, a stylized "C", fills the screen, replacing Clamp's image.]
Mr. Wing: Yes... a man can always agree with others. It is more difficult to agree with oneself.
Forster: That’s very charming. Confucius... or Bruce Lee?
[He's interrupted as Mr. Wing coughs. A rattling spasm that sounds deeply unhealthy. When the coughing subsides, he answers Forster.]
Mr. Wing: I'm sorry. Please tell Mister Clamp that the answer is no.
Forster: Please… keep the TV.
[As Mr. Wing walks Clamp's men to the door, a small, furry paw reaches for the remote.]
Gizmo: (offscreen) TV!
[He changed the TV channel to a scene from Rambo III. Sylvester Stallone’s character, John Rambo, addresses the movie.]
John Rambo: (on TV) To survive a war... you've got to become war.
[Then he screws an explosive-filled metal arrowhead onto an arrow and shoots the arrow from a bow. The arrow hits a helicopter, which bursts into flames. But as the helicopter starts to burn, Mr. Wing comes back and angrily turns the TV set off, addressing the unseen Gizmo.]
Mr. Wing: Television again. An invention for fools!
[As he starts coughing again, outside the store...]
Bodyguard: I'm sorry that didn't work out, sir. I thought Mr. Clamp’s offer was most generous.
Forster: You hear that cough? He’s an antique. We can wait.
[Six weeks later, we come to a huge office tower whose sign reads CLAMP PREMIERE REGENCY.]
Daniel Clamp: (via intercom) I'm Daniel Clamp. No New York visit is complete without touring the world's most automated building: Clamp Premiere Regency Trade Centre and Retail Concourse. Headquarters of Clamp Enterprises and CCN, Clamp Cable Network. 
[Near a sign reading Clamp Cable Network, a news producer and reporter are editing videotapes that we see on monitors. The tape is of the reporter doing her standup in Chinatown, on Mr. Wing's boarded-up block.]
Female News Reporter: (on TV) Mr. Wing's death removes the last obstacle... ... to developer Daniel Clamp's long-delayed project. This quaint shop, which once housed rare Oriental objects now makes way for the future, Daniel Clamp style.
[The camera moves through the deserted store and settles on Gizmo's alcove. The mourning Mogwai has climbed into his old cage and sits there with the door open. He wears a black armband. Suddenly, a construction crane crashes through the building roof. Gizmo leaps down from the cage, and narrowly escapes, with the crane arm right behind him. As a rain of wood and planter debris falls around him, he runs away into the alley behind the store, and scampers to safety behind an ashcan, his chest heaving. But now he looks up, startled and scared.]
Lewis: (to himself) Well, Lewis, it's like I've always said: "If you want to find something weird, you have to go downtown."
[His hand reaches down into frame and captures him. Soon, we cut to the city. The outright madness of New York at rush hour. Herds of workers push past vendors, hookers, 3-card monte artists, etc. The camera settles on Billy Peltzer and his girlfriend Kate, heroes of the Gremlin siege of Kingston Falls. Though they're a few years older now, Billy and Kate are still small-town types, who keep getting elbowed aside by the sidewalk crowd. Billy wears business clothes, and Kate is in a uniform-type skirt and blazer. We spot Universal Price Code-type bar codes on the chest of Billy's sports coat and Kate's blazer.] 
Billy: The Futtermans come to town tomorrow. 
Kate: Mr. Futterman must be better if he can travel. 
Billy: His wife says he is better. He was just rattled. 
Kate: Well, I guess having a bunch of little monsters drive a snowplow through your living room could kind of do that to you. 
Billy: Well, he was almost killed. 
[A civilian runs by the two.] 
Kate: These people are so rude! 
Billy: (to Kate) Honey, what time is it? (looks at Kate’s watch) God, we're late. There's a cab. 
[They ran to a corner where a taxi snailed over.]
Taxi Driver: You goin' a' the airport?
Billy: No. Actually, I'm just...
[The taxi car drives away. We then follow Billy and Kate as they approach the Clamp office building.]
Billy: After all this time, I'm still in the same job. 
Kate: It takes time, Billy. 
Billy: In Kingston Falls, I'd have been promoted by now. 
Kate: And you'd hate it. 
Billy: At least we could afford a decent place to live. Get married.
[They arrive at the doors to the building's lobby. In addition to regular glass doors, there are a couple of revolving doors.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) Welcome to the Clamp Entry-matic... a revolution in revolving door precision and efficiency.
[A worker enters one of the revolving doors. The power-assisted door, going too fast, whooshes him inside. The gang entered through an ordinary door.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) Please be careful in stepping in and out, and have a powerful day.
[Inside the building, the ultra-modern, digital-style lobby includes several retail businesses, including restaurants, a frozen yogurt stand, a beauty parlor, and clothing stores. We then see a thirtyish woman, Doreen, who's guiding a tour group through the lobby. Doreen wears a uniform like Kate's, plus a matching hat in the shape of the building.]
Doreen: That's the story of the Clamp Premiere Regency Centre, where one man's dream became a reality. I hope you enjoyed today's tour. Don't forget: Pick up Mr. Clamp's best-selling book, I Took Manhattan, on sale right here at our newsstand for only 19.95. And in our gift store...
[The two arrived at the elevator.]
Kate: Don't let them get to you. Billy, you're so good at your job. Sooner or later, they'll notice. Maybe then we can get married. 
Billy: Okay, hon. 
[They kiss.]
Kate: Bye. 
Billy: Bye.
[Later, Billy and his superior, Marla, arrived at the office. The advertising department of Daniel Clamp's empire occupies modern, "open-plan" offices -- endless beige partitions form tiny cubicles full of "ergonomic" furniture. Unseen speakers pipe in "white noise" -- low-volume static to insulate conversations.]
Billy: Marla, the first plan... 
Marla: The deadline's not my fault. They make me miserable, so I make you miserable. It's a disaster. 
Billy: They changed the specs and the deadline... 
Marla: See, this is your problem right here. You only see your little part of it. I need a complete situational, long-term, overview perspective.
[They arrive at Billy's cubicle, whose "workstation" consists of a drag board and several drawers. The phone is equipped with a video screen. We spot a small, struggling potted plant, and pinned to the cubicle wall was Billy's drawing of the main street of Kingston Falls. On Billy's drawing board is an illustration of Clamp's projected Chinatown building, a modern monstrosity with insane pagoda touches. But Billy has tried to breathe some life into it, with the sleek-looking street, kids flying dragon kites, etc. Marla looks over Billy's shoulder at the drawing.]
Billy: It's almost finished. I just have to make some...
Marla: That courtyard looks cold. That'd be nicer with the trees.
Billy: Are they going to plant trees?
Marla: No, but you’re going to draw them.
Billy: But the... 
Marla: Elms. 
Billy: But the shrubbery looks...
Marla: This attitude doesn't work for me.
[He's about to sit down to work, when Daniel Clamp's lieutenant Forster and his assistant come down the row of cubicles, looking around.]
Marla: Oh, good morning, Mr. Forster.
Forster: It looks like somebody hasn't read his employee manual. Doesn't it, Mr... 
[As he speaks, he opens a folder and takes out a bar-code reading wand attached to the folder by curly cable. He runs the wand over the bar-code on Billy's chest and reads from an LCD display in the folder.]
Computer Voice: Peltzer. 
Forster: ...Peltzer? Unauthorized potted plant. 
Marla: I told him about it weeks ago. (to Billy) I talked to you! 
Billy: I know. I was gonna... 
Forster: Possible aphid infestation. (spies Billy’s drawing of Kingston Falls) What's this?
Billy: That’s Kingston Falls. That's my hometown.
Forster: Do you know how much the Clamp organization has spent... ...to provide its employees with art by recognized artists... ...at this facility? 
[He points to a piece of anonymous "bank art" on a nearby wall.]
Forster: Eye-pleasing, color-coordinated, authorized. 
Billy: But it was just a little... 
Forster: A little touch. I know. Maybe everybody here wants to do a little touch. Coffee mugs that say, "World's Greatest Lover." The ashtray that reads, "Rest Your Butt Here." You'd like that, right? Coming to work every day in a $200,000,000... flea market.
[He dumps the potted plant into a trash bin and he and his assistant leave.]
Marla: Billy, this is just what I don't need right now. The department review's in three weeks. It's a nuclear meltdown disaster. 
Billy: Marla, I am doing the best I can. 
Marla: Billy, do me a favor. Do better! (leaves)
[The Clamp Centre's "nerve center" looks like an air traffic control tower: technicians hunched over meters, monitors, and switches, tracking the building's systems. Forster comes in and walks past several technicians, looking over their shoulders. One computer monitor tracks the elevators' movements, while others give spy-camera views of employees in corridors, bathrooms, etc.]
Technician: We've got a low corrosivity reading. Give me a wave form on 10th power.
[Forster enters the nerve center as a female technician tells him.]
Frances: Mr. Forster, I have a potential violator, sir.
[Forster looks over the technician's shoulder at a monitor. A spy camera shows a stressed-out employee lighting a cigarette in a storeroom. He punches a button on the console, picks up a microphone, and talks into it.]
Forster: (via microphone) That's an unauthorized break period, friend. You don't work here anymore.
[On the monitor, the startled employee looks around for the source of the voice. Forster pressed another button and a spotlight shines down on the employee.]
Forster: (via microphone) Do we have a problem communicating? You're gone. Terminated. End of medical benefits, that's right. Clean out the desk, one hour. And thanks so much. (to the female technician) Very nice, Frances.
Frances: (via microphone) Alert personnel. We have a career opportunity in level seven.
[Meanwhile, Kate leads a group of tourists through the lobby.]
Kate: The Clamp Centre is the most advanced "smart building" in America, with the latest in security, communications, and climate control. Now the centre is just one part of Mister Clamp's round-the-world business network, which includes construction, sports, finance, and a popular line of jams and jellies...and, of course, as those of you who have cable TV at home, the Clamp Cable Network is located right here in the building.
[We then cut to a run-down set of Grandpa Fred's House of Horrors, a hosted-horror-movie show. Grandpa Fred is an old trouper in a moth-eaten Dracula outfit. He's giving the show his demoralized best shot. There was an old ‘50s B-movie playing on the television while Billy appeared behind some security guards.]
Grandpa Fred: The Attack of the Octopus People. That's tonight's movie. And, boy, is it scary. It's so scary, it'll uncross your eyes. It's a good thing that your Grandpa Fred is here to protect you. 
[He waits for something he expected to hear, but it doesn't happen. He breaks character.]
Grandpa Fred: Where's the moan?
Director: (on P.A. from boom box) The what?
Grandpa Fred: The moan. There's supposed to be a moan here from the coffin. Then I say, "Renfield, you want more flies?" And then I go over to the coffin and I...
Director: (offscreen) Oh. Sorry, Fred. Can somebody find the tape with the moan?
[Grandpa Fred sits down, disgusted. Billy goes over to him.]
Billy: Hi, Fred. 
Grandpa Fred: Hi, Billy.
Billy: Listen, I heard about your new timeslot. I'm sorry. Personally, I think they're making a big mistake.
Grandpa Fred: Mistake? Kid, it's a disaster. People who watch TV at 3:30 a.m. Don't fear the Wolfman. What scares them is getting sober and finding work.
Billy: Look. 
Billy reaches into his shopping bag, and pulls out a mechanized bat that flaps its wings as Billy pulls the trigger. Grandpa Fred recoils.
Grandpa Fred: Watch it with that thing. 
Billy: Isn't that great? 
Grandpa Fred: Sure. 
Billy: You could use it on your show.
Grandpa Fred: Sure. Put it in the back, will you? Frankly, kid... ...this isn't what I had in mind. I went into broadcasting, I thought I was gonna do news... ...public affairs... ...something meaningful. I don't even have a gimmick. No special effects. (holds up his dragon puppet) All I have is a cross-eyed puppet named lgor. 
[We soon follow Billy and Fred as they walk through the lobby.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) The elevator doors have opened. 
Billy: You know, Fred, you should run some of the classic horror movies like Frankenstein or Dracula.
Grandpa Fred: All the great horror movies are in black and white. Mr. Clamp only likes color. That guy's strange. 
Billy: Have you seen him? 
Grandpa Fred: Not in person. Only on that cockamamie video they got all over. Look at this building. You know what kind of tenants they have now? There's a genetic research laboratory upstairs. Fooling around with animals. Last week, they took out a patent on a new kind of gerbil. (shudders) People think I'm creepy. 
(With its cheerful wall sign reading SPLICE-O-LIFE INC., this reception area seems normal, except for the animal noises that drift in from the back rooms. A messenger with a package, finding no one at the reception desk, goes past it, into an inner corridor to the fringe of a laboratory so high-tech it makes the rest of the building look down-home. As he looks into the lab, peering curiously at scientists, gadgets, potted plants and caged animals, his attention is captured by a sound from the back -- Gizmo's song, in that sad minor key. Half-consciously, the messenger picks up the melody, and starts whistling it to himself until Peggy, the lab's receptionist, comes over to him.)
Peggy: Can I help you?
Messenger: Yeah. I got a delivery for Dr. Catheter. 
Peggy: I can sign for it.
Messenger: What kind of stuff do they do in there anyway? 
Peggy: We're not supposed to talk about it.
Peggy's got a bad case of the sniffles -- she blows her nose as she signs the paperwork and hands it back.
Peggy: Oh, I'm sorry.
(As the messenger leaves the office, Dr. Catheter, Splice-o-Life's chief scientist, enters.)
Peggy: Dr. Catheter, this just came for you.
Dr. Catheter: (taking package) Oh, splendid. This must be my malaria… (opening package) Just rabies. I’ve got rabies. And I was supposed to get the flu this week.
Peggy: I think we have the flu on back order.
(She takes out a Kleenex and blows her nose again. Dr. Catheter holds his hand out.)
Dr. Catheter: Could I have that, Peggy?
Peggy: Oh, yes. Sure.
(Dr. Catheter takes the Kleenex and heads for the inner office.)
Dr. Catheter: Back order. Back order. All a man wants is some fresh germs.
(He hands the Kleenex to a scientist named Casper.)
Dr. Catheter: Casper, have this tissue analyzed.
(In the genetics lab, we see that many of the plants and animals in the lab are hooked up to mysterious gadgets. One cow passes by, speaking through a translator helmet.)
Cow: I am calm and centered. I enjoy giving milk.
(Catheter comes over to a pair of twin scientists named Martin and Lewis.)
Dr. Catheter: Martin. 
Martin: Hello, doctor. 
Dr. Catheter: How's the cloning coming along? 
Lewis: Really well. 
Dr. Catheter: Lewis. 
Martin: We got something for you to look at. 
Lewis: It's interesting. I found it downtown on my specimen scout. 
Martin: It's some sort of rodent, apparently. And it seems allergic to bright light.
(Following the sound of the crooning that caught the messenger's attention, they take Catheter over to a lab table where the lights are lowered above a covered cage. Martin pulls back the cloth to reveal Gizmo, who stops singing and looks up at them.)
Dr. Catheter: Cute, isn’t it?
Martin: That may be genetic.
Lewis: We're not sure yet. 
Martin: We're not sure. 
Lewis: Watch this, doctor.
(Martin opens the side door of Gizmo's cage while Lewis turns on a tape player. Hearing the bouncy music of Fats Domino, Gizmo playfully dances out of the cage.)
Dr. Catheter: He likes this music?
Lewis: Yes.
Martin: It’s his favorite.
(But as he amuses his captors, Gizmo is slyly looking around for a way out of here. He edges farther away from the cage. Catheter grabs Gizmo just before the Mogwai can make good his escape.)
Dr. Catheter: Not so fast, my boy.
(He abruptly switches the music off and scolds the scientists.)
Dr. Catheter: You nearly let him get away. 
Martin and Lewis: Sorry, sir.
(Dr. Catheter sticks the frightened Gizmo back in the cage and shuts the side door firmly.)
Dr. Catheter: How do you plan to proceed? 
Martin: Cell samples tomorrow. 
Lewis: Tissue cultures Thursday. 
Dr. Catheter: And then there's body structure. (to Gizmo) And for that, my little friend... we'll just have to cut you.
(Gizmo becomes terrified by the mad scientist. Back with Billy, in his office cubicle, he speaks to Kate on the company phone.)
Billy: (on the phone) I can't believe she told me to put trees on that drawing. It just...
[Suddenly, the lights overhead go out.]
Billy: (on the phone) My light went out. 
Kate: (on the phone) You sat still, so the building thinks you left. Move. 
Billy: (on the phone) Okay, hold on.
[Billy jumps around, and the lights come back on, as the messenger who visited the genetics lab comes to the Cubicle Neighbor's desk with a package.]
Billy: (on the phone) You're right, I need... (the video screen goes static) Hello? Hello? Honey? Hello? Kate, are you there? Kate? (hangs up) Nothing works around here.
[Nearby, the messenger whistles to himself Gizmo's song, in that sad minor. For a moment, Billy doesn't recognize it and then the camera catches the realization dawning on his face. He looks over the cubicle partition and asks the messenger intently.]
Billy: Excuse me? Where'd you hear that?
Messenger: What?
Billy: That music. Where'd you hear it?
Messenger: Isn't that by Sting?
Billy: No. It's not by Sting. Think.
Messenger: Oh, wait, I know. I was up in that laboratory. You know, on 51. And somebody was humming it.
[Billy takes off. At the lab office, Peggy is sitting at the reception desk as Billy comes in, carrying a red toolbox.]
Billy: Hi, I hear your copier's down.
Peggy: Oh, it is?
Billy: Yeah.
Peggy: It's back there.
Billy: Thank you.
[He sneaks into the genetics lab and looks around. The scientists are absorbed in their work.]
Lewis: We're ready, doctor.
[He sees Martin injecting some liquid from a vial with a lightning bolt insignia on its label onto a slice of cheese.]
Martin: This is the most interesting bioelectrical work I've done.
Lewis: Just think. Millions of rats in New York, and everyone hates them. But if one of them could power a portable radio for a month...
[As Lewis feeds the rat the cheese, Billy sneaks to a shrouded cage.]
Billy: Gizmo, I'm here.
[He lifts the cover on the cage, only to get a glimpse of a growth-hormone experiment: a hairy spider about twelve inches across. He immediately puts it down.]
Martin: Watch this, doctor.
[Martin grabs a lightbulb and places it on the rat’s back. It lights up upon contact.]
Dr. Catheter: Definite progress, gentlemen.
[Billy heads over to Gizmo's cage. He opens the cage, and his eyes meet Gizmo’s -- it's hard to say which of them is more excited. But the gala reunion will have to wait.]
Billy: Be quiet.
[Billy scoops Gizmo up into the toolbox and he hides. Dr. Catheter touches the rat and quickly pulls his hand back from the electric shock.]
Dr. Catheter: If only we could make it safe to touch them. Still, they'd be good in flashlights, wouldn't they?
[Billy sneaks to some caged monkeys.]
Martin: Where there's flashlights, there's dark.
Lewis: And they like the dark.
[He flips the latch on the monkeys' cage and the monkeys scamper past them into the center of the lab, distracting the scientists. He left the lab while the monkeys caused a ruckus.]
Lewis: Theodore! How'd you get out?
Martin: Alvin, put down that DNA!
[Walking faster now, Billy ducks into a men's bathroom, whose wordless sign shows a little emblematic man holding a briefcase.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) Mister, welcome to the men's room. Hey, pal, I sure hope you washed those hands.
[He closed the door and dimmed the lights while checking under the stalls. Nobody was there, but himself. So, he sets the red toolbox on the sink, flips the latches, and opens the box. Gizmo comes out of the box. A boy and his Mogwai! Emotions flood over their faces -- recognition, relief, shared secrets and memories. Billy then walks to him and kneels down.]
Billy: Hey, guy, how you doing? Did you miss me?
[Gizmo does eye moments -- shyly hedging, then admitting it.]
Billy: Yeah. Me too. So, what are you doing here? What were those guys doing to you?
[Gizmo shrinks back, terrified.]
Billy: Wow. That bad, huh? You wanna come out? (Gizmo nods and he lifts him out of the box) Come here. It's okay. Come with me. I got you. I'll take care of you. Everything's gonna be fine. (notices the armband) What is this? A black armband?
Gizmo: Armband.
Billy: Is that what happened to the man who took care of you?
[Gizmo responds sadly. Later, Billy returns to his cubicle, the restless toolbox still in hand. He opens a drawer in his desk and slips Gizmo inside.]
Billy: You've got to be quiet. You don't want to go back to the laboratory, do you?
[Gizmo shook his head.]
Billy: So do me a favor. Get down there and don't say anything. I'll come back and take you home as soon as possible. Okay, that's a good boy. Bye-bye.
[Billy is suddenly interrupted by the tour guide, who comes running in.]
Doreen: It's him! He's here!
[He quickly slams his desk drawer shut, almost squashing Gizmo's paw. He opens it back up.]
Billy: Oh, Giz, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? How's your hand?
[Gizmo’s hand was throbbing in pain.]
Billy: Look, he's here. You have to get down.
[As Gizmo gets down, Billy looks up to see Daniel Clamp, with two bodyguards, walking down a row of cubicles. No one can quite believe that the tycoon here in the flesh. Maria moves quickly to greet him, and they meet beside Billy's cubicle.]
Marla: I'm Marla Bloodstone, the department head here. If there's anything I can...
Daniel Clamp: That's okay. Everybody just relax. Go on about what you'd be doing normally. I know I haven't been here before, but that'll change. I'll be more... hands-on with these operations from now on.
[As he speaks, Clamp glances over Billy's shoulder, and spots the Chinatown drawing.]
Daniel Clamp: This is excellent!
Marla: Isn't that terrific?
 Daniel Clamp: You've captured the whole essence of the project. Look at the kids with the kites. That's warmth. I like warmth. What's your name?
Billy: Billy. William Peltzer, sir.
[Marla watches, saucer-eyed, as Clamp shakes hands with Billy.]
Daniel Clamp: Bill, huh? That's what we need here: People who produce. Lose those trees, though. With elm, people think "Dutch," "disease."
Billy and Marla: Absolutely.
[Gizmo's drawer rattles open.]
Daniel Clamp: What's with that drawer?
[Billy snaps it shut.]
Billy: It's automatic. It opens now and then in case you need something.
Daniel Clamp: I didn't know about that. (to another worker) Hey! What's that?
Marla: Did you hear that? "People who produce." He called you Bill. This is very big. This is a career opportunity advancement window. For both of us.
Billy: Do you really think so?
Marla: Clearly. We can talk at dinner.
Billy: Great. Sometime next...
Marla: Tonight.
Billy: I can't.
Marla: I have something too. A brochure for the Archery Channel. It's a total suicide, red-alert, deadline emergency. You know what? I'm letting it go to have dinner with you.
Billy: I just can't leave on such short notice.
[His desk drawer starts rattling again. Billy shoves it firmly closed.]
Marla: What is with that drawer, Billy? You keeping a pet in there?
Billy: I'm allergic to pets.
Marla: It's good Mr. Clamp likes you because... Let me see. Maybe tonight would be the best. There's a chic new Canadian restaurant. They clean the fish at your table.
Billy: Really? That sounds terrific.
Marla: Just let me grab my bag.
[As Marla goes out, Billy talks into Gizmo's drawer.]
Billy: Now, listen. I have to go. I'll send someone to pick you up. So just stay put.
Marla: Billy.
Billy: Yeah...
Marla: Ready?
Billy: Yeah. Sure, I'm ready.
[He grabs his sportcoat and follows Maria toward the elevators.]
Marla: We may see Woody. They say he eats there incessantly.
[As they go, the camera holds on Gizmo's drawer. It slowly shakes and then opens, and the curious Mogwai's eyes and ears come into view, checking out the world of Billy's office. Gizmo ducks back out of sight ...but, a moment later, a chain of paper clips is tossed down from the drawer, making a ladder to the floor. As Gizmo starts hoisting himself over the edge of the drawer, Billy arrives at Kate’s workplace.]
Billy: Katie?
Kate: Hi, honey. I'm almost ready. I just gotta punch out.
Billy: Hi.
Kate: Hi. (they kiss)
Billy: I'm not able to go out with you tonight. I'm sorry. I've got a meeting with some people.
Kate: A meeting? Great.
Billy: Listen, I got a big favor to ask of you. Gizmo's here and he...
Kate: That furry thing?
Billy: Yeah. He's up in my desk drawer.
[Kate grimaces at the news.]
Billy: Don't do that. I hate it when you do that. There's good news. You get to take him home.
Kate: Take him home? Our home?
Billy: Yes.
Kate: No!
Billy: Why not?
Kate: What if they start running around New York?
Billy: They won't, I promise. Just obey the rules.
Kate: The rules!
Billy: Remember the first one? Don't expose them to bright light because it kills them. The second rule...
Kate: Don't let them get wet?
Billy: Right!
Kate: The third one is, don't let them eat after midnight.
Billy: That's very good, honey.
[He leaves the tour guide’s office.]
Kate: Wait!
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) Tonight, on the Clamp Cable Classic Movie Channel, don't miss Casablanca, now in full color with a happier ending.
[Meanwhile, a janitor, pushing a cart of cleaning supplies, comes into the office area.]
Janitor: With Clamp's annual salary, if he goes to the bathroom for 30 seconds, the man's earning $375 while he stands there.
[Gizmo, on the floor, peeks around a corner to watch as the cart's wheels rumble past him. As seen by Gizmo, the towering janitor stops at the department's water fountain and tries to get a drink.]
Janitor: What can he do? Can he fix an elevator? What does it cost the company for me... to get a drink of water, .0003 cents? I tell you... A taste of the wrench for you, my friend.
[He grabs a wrench and tries to fix the water fountain.]
Janitor: I said not to put new units in. They don't listen. They listen to that guy they pay $375 to go to the bathroom. I remember the Sip-master Mark IV. That was a fabulous drinking fountain. You could squirt it six months and it'd still be shooting straight. But those dancing days are done.
[While he talks, the fountain shoots off a stray path of water onto the floor. Gizmo inches away from the puddle. He keeps moving, and evades a second arc of errant water from the fountain. Gizmo takes cover under Billy's desk and doesn't see a big splash of water hit Billy's Chinatown picture. While Gizmo, thinking the danger is passed, steps out from under the desk, the bright colors of Billy's painting blur, and the blob of water rolls down the illustration board and down the side of the desk. The water drops down on Gizmo’s head, terrifying the mogwai. The janitor was unable to fix the broken water fountain.]
Janitor: The hell with it.
[The janitor leaves. The camera holds on Gizmo on the floor, writhing in pain. He screams, as -- THWIP! THWIP! -- two tiny furballs shoot out of his body and land in the open drawer of a nearby filing cabinet. THWIP! The painful Mogwai replication continues, and a third furball caroms off a drafting table and into a wastebasket. THWIP! The fourth and final offspring shoots from Gizmo's body, and, as Gizmo watches in horror and pain, bounces crazily around the office area, a little Superball of fur. As Gizmo sits up and looks up, we watch with him... four newborn Mogwai hands reach out of the filing cabinet drawer, gripping the top edge from inside. The camera moves in on the cabinet drawer, and the first two new Mogwais are revealed, standing in the drawer: George and Lenny, an inseparable pair. Lenny is big, dumb, and loyal, while George is small, with a criminal caginess, he gets Lenny to do everything for him. Gizmo watches the wastebasket where the third fur ball landed start to rock back and forth, but is distracted as the bouncing fur ball hits the floor in front of him, then ricochets up onto a desktop. The third Mogwai unfolds upside-down. This is Daffy, a dizzy, uncontrollably antic Mogwai with the demented juvenile Joie de vivre we associate with the great Daffy Duck. In the first seconds following birth, Daffy goes daffy over the very fact of being alive. He sees his little hands and feet unfold, and gives a whoop. The crazy mogwai starts putting wet-paint paw prints all over the glass and the desk. The wastebasket tips over and Gizmo watches as something rustles through the trash.]
Gizmo: Uh oh.
[Emerging from the trash was the fourth mogwai with a mohawk. We’ll call him Mohawk. This guy is pure, malicious evil, a new strain of badness. Even as a furry Mogwai, he's about as cuddly as a cockroach. While Daffy, up on the desktop, starts playing with everything in sight, Mohawk, on the floor, moves in on Gizmo. While this was going on, the janitor was on the phone.]
Janitor: (on phone) I'm not being paranoid. The guy's after my job. That's how it is these days. All politics. It's the law of the jungle around here.
[George and Lenny drop down to the carpet to join Mohawk, as Gizmo, standing now, backs away. There's a grated vent opening low on the wall behind him.]
Janitor: (on phone) Young guys only care about one thing, okay? Power. I'm talking about ruthless.
[The three mogwai advance on Gizmo as Mohawk rips the armband off Gizmo’s arm.]
Mohawk: Gizmo, ca-ca!
[George points to the vent opening behind Gizmo, ordering Lenny to pull it out. Lenny nods his dumb understanding, and yanks the force-fit grate out of the wall. He clumsily bumps George with the grate. Gizmo is pushed into the vent and the grate is slammed back into place, imprisoning him. The three Mogwais tease him through the grate and leave. Gizmo tries to push the grate back out, but can't do it. He’s too weak to pull it off. Daffy is busy painting all over Billy's design.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) Will the owner of the car with license number 1 AG401 please remove it from the parking garage? Your car is old and dirty.
[Later, in the lobby, Kate enters the elevator.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) State your desired floor number.
Kate: Forty-six, please.
[As the elevator goes up, another arrives. As the doors open, a low angle finds the janitor's feet at the cleaning cart getting off.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) The elevator doors have opened. Please leave.
[After they're gone, the heads of George, Lenny, and Mohawk, arranged totem-pole-style, peek out of a little corner of the elevator. Meanwhile, Kate walks toward Billy’s cubicle when she hears tittering nearby. She turned around to see Daffy on top of a replica of the Clamp Building batting off toy planes like King Kong.]
Kate: Gizmo. How'd you get up there? Billy said to take you home, so I'm just... I'll put you in my purse until we're out of the building.
She picks up Daffy while the mogwai laughs.
Kate: Hello. Here we go. Gizmo, you're so hyper. I guess New York does that to people. 
[Gizmo watches from the vent, seeing Kate mistake Daffy for him.]
Kate: Okay, here we go.
[Kate slips the wrong mogwai into the purse and puts it over her shoulder. As the two leave, Gizmo sighs sadly. He decides to find a way out himself. At the base of a lobby planter, we spot George, Lenny, and Mohawk. Unnoticed by passing people, they're digging the nighttime world of the lobby.]
Mohawk: (leering at a woman's legs) Legs.
[They look up to see people eating yogurt at the yogurt shack. They start to have a hungry look in their eyes. We then cut to a Canadian restaurant, where Billy and Marla were dining at. The restaurant is decorated in a Canadian motif; the saltshakers are hollowed-out hockey pucks. We find a booth where Marla, drinking Jolt Cola from a wine glass, is edging closer to Billy, who's nursing a beer.]
Marla: So did you always know you wanted to be an artist?
Billy: I always knew I liked to draw. When I was a kid, I drew comics. I had this box of crayons...
Marla: I had crayons! I used them to write memos to the other kids. Even then, I knew.
Billy: That's really something.
Marla: We're finally getting to know each other. You can't do that in an office.
Billy: It's all business.
Marla: Exactly! Let's talk about your relationship to Mr. Clamp. Your access. I see a future. I see corner offices, embossed letterhead. I see us swallowing the publicity department.
Billy: Really? Wow...
Marla: Gosh. I'm feeling so vulnerable with you, Billy. I've never talked about these feelings before. When art and business join forces, anything can happen.
Billy: I definitely feel we should join...
[Billy feels something in his lap. He looks down. It is Marla's stockinged foot.]
Billy: ...forces.
[A Canadian waiter appears at Billy's side, holding a platter containing a large moose head sculpted out of chocolate. Billy is so startled to find the moose staring at him that he spills his beer in his lap. Maria quickly withdraws her foot, and Billy blots at the spill with a napkin.]
Canadian Waiter: Sir? This is a Canadian dessert, chocolate mousse. Can I cut you an antler?   
Billy: No, thank you.
Canadian Waiter: You okay? You want another Molson?
Billy: No, thanks. Really, I'm fine. I gotta go. I got this appointment. I'm in a hurry. I'm sorry about your stocking.
Marla: That's okay, Billy.
[As Billy gets up from the booth, Marla, not giving up without a fight, grabs his tie. The waiter steps back, and Marla pulls Billy down close to her, planting a kiss on his cheek, leaving a lipstick imprint.]
Marla: See you tomorrow.
Billy: Yeah, great.
[He then leaves the restaurant.]
Canadian Waiter: How about some horn?
[At the apartment, Kate has put Daffy on the kitchen counter and unwraps some Fried Chicken. On the counter, we spot a few of Randall Peltzer's seldom-used kitchen inventions.]
Kate: Okay, Gizmo. Billy said to feed you before midnight. He didn't say what you like. I hope this is okay. It's chicken and mashed potatoes...
[As she arranges chicken and mashed potatoes on a plate, Daffy spots a blender next to him. He recoils from it... then, with an evil grin, he shoves it off the counter whil Kate's back is turned, breaking it.]
Kate: Oh, God!
[Daffy laughs at his own little stunt.]
Kate: Try to be a little more careful around here, okay? We don't have money to replace things. There you go.
[She hands a plate full of food. He proceeds to munch down on the corn cob faster than a speeding bullet. In a matter of seconds, the corn was finished. He burps and then grabs a drumstick. He hates it and pitches it on Kate, getting half of it on her.]
Kate: What are you...?
Daffy: Bingo!
Kate: Yikes!
[Outside, Billy gets out of a taxi in front of the building and rings the doorbell. Kate answers it.]
Kate: Who is it?
Billy: (offscreen) Open up, honey. It's me.
[She undoes the deadbolts and opens the door. Billy rushes in.]
Billy: Hey. Sorry I'm late.
Kate: Hi. It's okay.
Billy: (notices Kate's shirt messed up) What happened to you?
[Kate doesn't answer. She was too busy looking at the lipstick mark on Billy's face.]
Kate: How was your meeting?
Billy: It was fine. Where's Gizmo?   
Kate: He's in the kitchen.
Billy: Great. Did you feed him?
Kate: Sort of.
Billy: Giz, guess who's...
[Daffy throws a lump of frozen pineapple that nails Billy on the forehead.]
Daffy: Bulls-eye!
Billy: ...home.
[He notices some food being thrown away. This wasn’t like Gizmo to behave like this.]
Billy: Gizmo? 
[Billy walks over and notices that the mogwai Kate brought home was a bit different.]
Billy: Where'd you find him?
Kate: Your office, where you said.
Billy: This is not Gizmo. 
[Daffy squeezes a filling of Twinkie at Billy’s face and laughs crazily.]
Billy: We have to go back.
Kate: You said no more...
Billy: There won't be, if they don't eat after midnight.
Kate: But look at him. He's wired.
[A Hostess cupcake is thrown at Billy by Daffy.]
Billy: We have to take him with us.
Kate: No...
[Billy grabs Daffy, who flails around in his arms.]
Billy: Honey, get my bag!
Kate: Okay.
[As he stuffs him into his leather daypack, the doorbell rings.]
Billy: Great.
Kate: Who could that be? It's late. Should I get it?
Billy: You better get it. (to Daffy) If you wanna get out, be quiet.
Kate: Who is it?
Daffy: I will.
Billy: That's better.
Kate opens the door and finds Murray Futterman, the snowplow driver from the last film, and his wife Sheila.
Sheila: Surprise!
Kate: Mr. And Mrs. Futterman! Weren't you coming tomorrow?
Murray: The guys in my old outfit changed the reunion date. We had to get on a Greyhound.
Sheila: Thirty-two hours. Sorry for coming so late.
Kate: That's okay. Can I get you coffee or tea?
Sheila: (notices the mess on Kate’s shirt) Little piggers!
Kate: Oh, yeah, the cake blew up.
Murray: Billy, this is some crazy city. We tried to get a cab. You know they got Russians driving cabs? What if someone got in with a briefcase full of atomic secrets?
Sheila: Murray, remember what Dr. Kaplan said. We're going to be nice and calm. He was a little distressed after what happened with those...
Murray: I'm fine. I'm fine. I was jumpy for a while, that's all.
[Billy's daypack squeaks. Billy slips the bag under his arm and squeezes it, forcibly quieting Daffy.]
Murray: What was that?
Sheila: It's all right, dear. I heard it too.
Murray: Of course you did!
Billy: The thing is, you can't stay tonight. I'd love it if you could. It's just, the building is being... fumigated.
Kate: Being renovated.
Billy: Mice and stuff.
Kate: Rats.
Murray: No sweat. We'll book into a hotel.
Billy: You know, mice and bugs...
Murray: Hey, that's okay. You can't be too careful. There's all kinds of foreign bugs. Your mom baked you an apple pie.
[He hands Billy a bag of apple pie sent by his mother from Kingston Falls.]
Billy: Thanks.
Murray: Someone sat on it. I'm sure it'll taste okay. Your dad's got some new inventions. Reversible toilet paper. We'll call you tomorrow and have dinner.
Billy and Kate: Okay, great.
Murray: Good! Marvelous. Tomorrow.
Billy: Bye. I'm sorry.
Murray: That's okay.
Kate: Welcome to New York!
[The Futtermans leave the apartment. Back in the Clamp building, the lobby clock is at two minutes to midnight. There's lively action at the lobby's bars, dance floor, and frozen yogurt stand, where two teenage yogurt jerks serve customers.]
Female Yogurt Jerk: Okay, that's a Kona praline with kiwis and peanut butter cups?
Female Customer: Wait. Are the peanut butter cups all-natural?
Female Yogurt Jerk: I'm not sure. Are the peanut butter cups all-natural?
Alex: I know they're pesticide-free.
Female Customer: It's not the same. They put other things in.
[During the conversation, down below, Lenny and George used a purse holder to pull down one of two spigots on the yogurt machine. A stream of yogurt goo falls into Lenny’s mouth, where the dumb mogwai sloppily drinks it up.]
Female Yogurt Jerk: It comes off when they roast them.
Female Customer: Roasting is the worst. Where they don't roast, they have 70% less death.
Female Customer 2: Sure that isn't pickling?
Female Customer: How can you work with this and not read studies?
[But then the second customer and Alex see it at the same time: a furry paw reaching up to scoop M&M's from a topping bin.]
Female Customer 2: It's a rat!
[The paw sinks back into the M&M’s.]
Female Customer: Oh, my God!
Male Customer: What's going on? Did she say there are rats?
Female Yogurt Jerk: No rats.
Female Customer: That's not what she said.
[Mohawk rises out of the candy bin and they react in horror.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) The Clamp Entry-matic doors are being upgraded to serve you better. Please use the manual doors for your entering and exiting needs.
[As the two enters the lobby, they hear a commotion at the frozen yogurt stand rush over to see what's going on.]
Female Customer: A head came up, with big ears. There was a thing in the topping.
Billy: What kind of thing?
Female Customer: A furry thing. It's supposed to be health food.
Female Customer 2: (to the yogut jerks) I want damages!
Billy: They've eaten after midnight.
Kate: Come on.
[She takes Billy down a basement.]
Kate: Sorry I brought the wrong one home.
Billy: It's my fault. I shouldn't have left Gizmo. We gotta find him.
Kate: It's along here.
[They come to a deep, square recess in the wall. Inside is massive machinery. Pipes, pumps, meters, surrounded by a chain-link cage]
Kate: There. That's where the water comes into the building.  
[Billy goes to the chain-link cage and, using a fire axe, starts pulling at the lock. At the control center, one of the technicians gets a beep from his terminal. The night-time supervisor comes and looks over his shoulder at the monitor, which shows a blinking red diagram of the basement water machinery.] 
Supervisor: Give me video.
[The technician types a command, and a video image of Billy attacking the cage appears on the screen.]
Supervisor: Security.
[Back in the basement, Billy has opened the cage and comes to a valve.]
Billy: At least we can keep them from getting wet.
[As he turns the valve, he is spotted by a security guard.]
Supervisor: Hold it! Get the hell out of there. Move it! Come on, move!
[Kate hides behind a corner as the guard comes to Billy.]
Security Guard: Looks like I caught a terrorist. What's in the bag?
Billy: Nothing.
Security Guard: Yeah? Let's look at that nothing.
Billy: I wouldn't do this if I were you.
Security Guard: But you aren't me, are you?
[He looks down into the bag and Daffy jumps out and bites his nose. The guard flails his head furiously around until Daffy is thrown off and runs out of the basement.]
Billy: We gotta find him before he eats.
Security Guard: (points to his nose) He already ate.
Billy: There are more of them. We gotta shut the building down.
Security Guard: We? We? We! No, "we" gotta get the cops and put you in a rubber room.
Billy: I'm not crazy. They're dangerous. I've dealt with them. They wreck things.
Security Guard: Ooh! They wreck things!
Billy: Remember this town, Kingston Falls?
Security Guard: I remember the Kingston Trio.
[As he takes Billy away, the camera holds on a spot over their heads...goes into a gap between the concrete wall and ceiling ...and finds three big cocoons. Their slimy bodies gleam dully in the yellow lamplight. The next morning, at the police station, policemen are leading a group of arrested street mimes from a paddy wagon toward the station. Though in custody, the mimes continue their portrayals of walking against the wind, feeling up invisible wall, etc.]
Policeman: Let's go, kids. We're home, let's go. This way. Over here.
[We see Billy hurry out the front door.]
Billy: How did you get me out?
Kate: With next month's rent.
Billy: What time is it?
Kate: Around 6:30.    
Billy: They probably made their cocoons by now.
[They hit the early scorning at a run.]
Kate: How long do they take to hatch?
Billy: Not long enough. Come on.
[Inside the office building, the early-morning arrivals are here: people opening their lobby businesses. Under the building, the Mogwais' slimy cocoons begin to burst open, with acrid smoke swirling around them. Inside the vent space, Gizmo edges forward in the dark vent passageway….]
Gizmo: Echo!
[...and doesn't see the floor disappear from under him until he's already falling down a tall vertical drop. He lands onto a hard concrete floor. He looks up to see something dripping from above. It's one of the cocoons in the basement wall crevice. As he backs away, a green claw taps on his head.]
Mohawk: (offscreen) Gizmo, ca-ca!
[It grabs him from behind and offscreen beating is heard. Back in the lobby, the lights were turning on and off.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) Clamp Centre is experiencing illumination system difficulties. Please try not to notice.
[Billy and Kate walk by Grandpa Fred, who was reading a newspaper.]
Grandpa Fred: The building is completely screwed up today.
Billy: I know, Fred.
Grandpa Fred: Sure. You're young. You know everything.
[The two arrive at the newsstand to grab a bunch of souvenir flashlights in the shape of the building.]
Billy: Bright light. We'll need some of these.
[Meanwhile, the scaly hand of Mohawk pulls off an electric wire from a power box….]
Mohawk: (offscreen) Con Ed.
[….and hovers it toward a scared Gizmo.]
Mohawk: (offscreen) Gizmo, zap, zap!
[Back with Billy and Kate, they start back across the lobby.]
Billy: I have to go to systems control.
Tour Guide Woman: (passing by; to Kate) Kate, you're up.
[Marla then comes up to Billy.]
Marla: Good morning, Billy.
Billy: Oh, hi.
Marla: Last night was wonderful. We have to do it again.
Billy: Marla, this is Kate.
Marla: My goodness, I have to go right away. Hello.    
Kate: Hi.
Marla: Cute hat.
[She leaves and Kate is very cross with Billy.]
Billy: Honey, that's my boss. That's the woman I work with.
Kate: If we get through today alive, you're in big trouble. (leaves)
Billy: But you don't think that... (to himself) Great.
[At the control center, Billy arrives to find Forster at his desk.]
Forster: Peltzer...!
Billy: I need to speak with you.
Forster: You got arrested but you've come back. Miss us?
Billy: You gotta evacuate the building.
Forster: Why?
Billy: There are creatures in it. They start out small and furry. If they eat after midnight, they form cocoons...
Forster: You're having a psychotic episode.
Billy: You gotta listen.
Frances: This is good. They're furry, then they have cocoons.
Billy: They eat, then cocoon.
Male Technician: Sure. You're going into a cocoon, you wanna eat first.
[Looking around apprehensively, Kate leads her tour group into the Clamp Cable TV operation.]
Kate: Now we're in the nerve center of Clamp Cable Network.
[Among her charges today is Katsuji, a 20-year-old Japanese tourist. Katsuji is loaded down with an amazing arsenal of photography equipment: half a dozen still cameras with a ton of lenses, and a video camcorder. Photographing the hell out of everything, he falls behind Kate and the group.]
Kate: Mr. Katsuji, please get back in line. Please.
[A man dressed as Robin Hood exits out of a studio for the Archery Network, snaps his arrow in half, and leaves in a huff.]
Kate: If we're very quiet, we can watch a program being videotaped. Right this way.
[As Kate and her tourists quietly file into the studio, Marge's cameraman tracks her to a counter, where she puts a tray of canapes down beside a casserole.]
Microwave Marge: This week we have our special Salute to Luncheon Meats. Many of you have written, asking how to zing up party appetizers. I'm very excited about this recipe. It's so piquant with sherry. Some people use a dash. I use a lot. So let's just plunge into our hors d'oeuvres, shall we? You know, these bologna and bean dip roll-ups... are so easy when friends drop over.
[At the control center, as Forster fumes, the systems control technicians have an amused discussion of the Gremlin "rules" as explained by Billy.]
Male Technician 2: Okay, wait. What if one of them eats something at 11:00 but something sticks in his teeth?
Male Technician 3: A caraway or a sesame seed.
Male Technician: And after 12, it comes out. He didn't eat it after midnight.
Billy: I didn't make the rules.
Forster: Rules?
Male Technician: What if they're in an airplane and they cross a time zone? It's always midnight somewhere.
[Suddenly, Mohawk, now a bloodthirsty Gremlin, bursts out of his console and bites at him. At the sight of Mohawk, Forster jumps back. Frances tries to move on the Gremlin, but Mohawk takes a claw from his victim's neck and slashes her arm, driving him back. He then punches the male technician out cold.]
Forster: Peltzer, is this...?
Billy: Yes, sir.
[He pulls out his building-shag plight and shines it at the Gremlin. Recoiling, the Gremlin runs out of the control center.]
Billy: (hands Frances a flashlight) Take this, in case it comes back.
Frances: Right.
[As Billy leaves, Forester takes the flashlight from her hands. Back in the studio, as Kate and her tourists watch, Marge stirs an enormous, institutional-size soup pot on a kitchen stove.]
Microwave Marge: Before microwaves, this used to take forever. But now, we can make the same tuna-noodle-cheese-product chowder surprise in just a few minutes.
[Marge puts a lid on the soup pot.]
Microwave Marge: Now, let's just move down...
[But as she starts to turn away, the lights on the set suddenly dim.]
Microwave Marge: What's that? What is that?
Cameraman: Must be a brownout.
Director: We'll do an edit. Pick it up there.
Microwave Marge: Oh, well. The show must go on. So let's ladle up some of our chowder-noodle...
[She lifts the lid and jumps back, as Daffy, now a gremlin, but his goofy face still recognizable, sits up in the soup pot, wearing a chef's hat, and splatters Marge with orange noodle-casserole goo. He whips out a turkey baster, and squirts Marge with it. As the tourists and crew run out of the studio, Marge backs toward a cabinet, where George, as a gremlin, pops out. She wheels to see Lenny, a gremlin in an apron, counter behind her. Lenny throws some eggs at her while she uses the lid as a shield.]
Microwave Marge: Run for your lives! Monster!
[George points to a microwave at the rear of the set.]
George: Microwave!
[The Gremlins turn savagely toward the microwave. Marge runs over to Kate while she's getting out her flashlight.]
Microwave Marge: (to Kate) You see what these monsters are doing? They're throwing metal utensils into the microwave!   
[Lenny was throwing several metal utensils into the microwaves. Though he accidentally hit George with a frying pan in the process. George then closes the microwave and starts it up. The microwave fills with furious arcs of blue light...]
Lenny: Uh oh.
[...and the microwave explodes, showering the set with glass.]
Microwave Marge: (as she runs off) Stay here and die!
[As Marge and her cameraman escape the studio, the set catches fire. The flames lick up toward the ceiling and set off the sprinklers. George and Lenny grin, standing tall to shower in the spray. Daffy cackles wildly. As the water hits, bubbles appear on the Gremlins' backs. Close on the bubbles, we find the tiny heads of gremlin offspring, getting ready to burst out. As the studio fills with the ominous smoke and colored lights of Gremlin multiplication, Kate runs out while dragging Mr. Katsuji.]
Mr. Katsuji: Wait. Wait! What is it? Wait!
Kate: Mr. Katsuji!
Mr. Katsuji: I need a Polaroid.
Kate: It's not part of the program!
[Back in the control center, in the wake of Mohawk's attack, the technicians are both somber and rattled. They work urgently at their consoles, as a panicked Forster paces behind them, looking at their monitor screens.]
Male Technician 2: Something weird is going on in Studio D.
Forster: Punch it up on the stack.
[The screens turn on, revealing smoke and water in the studio before cutting to static.]
Male Technician: I show brownouts in five more locations.
Male Technician 2: Climate control malfunction, floors 15 and 16.
Forster: What the hell?
Frances: The pest infestation monitor is reading critical.
[On the technician's screen, an alarmingly rapid proliferation of dots, spreading over the diagram of the building. The dots started as a cluster in the cable TV studio area, Microwave Marge's studio, but they're spreading out to other floors, and moving around quickly.]
Forster: What is that? That could be rats, right?
Frances: No, sir. I'm afraid it's not.                   
Forster: Whatever they are, they've gotta respect the chain of command.   
[Meanwhile, as the sound of a Xerox machine in operation is heard offscreen, the camera is close on the floor of a copying and office supply room, where a series of photocopies is piling up. The pictures are of Gizmo -- his body pinned down, his face contorted in pain. Each pose is slightly more tortured than the one before.]
Mohawk: (offscreen) Gizmo, Gizmo, Gizmo, Gizmo!
[We find Gizmo in the flesh, almost his whole body trapped under a big copier. As Gizmo struggled helplessly, Mohawk was at the controls, laughing evilly.]
Gizmo: Light bright! Light bright!
[Back with Kate, she runs toward the elevator and gets on.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) Please state your desired floor.
Kate: Thirty-eight.
[But the voice that croaks back isn't the usual elevator voice.]
Gremlin Voice: (offscreen) Thirty eight.
[The elevator starts moving at a fast pace, as we see several gremlins on the bottom of the elevator car. Kate's face registers.]
Kate: Elevator, stop.
[The elevator jerks to a sudden stop.]
Kate: Sound alarm.
[The gremlins proceed to make fake alarm sounds outside the elevator. Clamp's office is huge, immaculate, and fully outfitted with high-tech gadgets. The window looks down on a bank of clouds pierced by the tips of New York landmarks: the Chrysler Building, etc. Clamp goes over to a bank of video monitors on his wall. Some of them display spy-camera views around the building, while others are tuned to Clamp Cable channels. One of these catches Clamp's eye: it's showing It's a Wonderful Life in black and white. He then hits the switch on a desk intercom.]
Daniel Clamp: (via intercom) Betty, did you finish shredding my mail?
Betty: (via intercom) I'm just finishing, Mr. Clamp.
Daniel Clamp: (via intercom) Good. Let's... Let's do some memos.
[In the outer office, Clamp's secretary Betty pushes the last of his morning's mail into the paper shredder beside her desk. As the letter turns into paper spaghetti, the secretary leaves the shredder on, turns to her computer, takes a hurried bite of a sandwich, and starts typing down Clamp's dictation. We spot her prim pink sweater hanging on the back of her chair.]
Daniel Clamp: (via intercom) First, one to Frager, in public relations. Have the people in Chinatown give a street festival. A spontaneous flood of appreciation for all I've done for the community. We could have those dragons. Those big dragons with the guys inside. And maybe we could have a parade.
[The camera holds on the sandwich as the green claws of an otherwise offscreen slip a spring-loaded mouse trap under the top slice of bread.]
Gremlin: (offscreen) Yum-yum!
[The claws withdraw from sight just as the secretary turns to pick up the sandwich again. In Clamp’s office...]
Daniel Clamp: (via intercom) Call that big department store. They got lots of floats. They keep them in a warehouse in New Jersey. I think I own that.
[Over the intercom, we hear the snap of the mousetrap and the secretary's scream. Hearing this, Clamp rushes into the outer office, where he finds the Gremlin, wearing the secretary's pink sweater, sitting in her chair and typing at her computer.]
Gremlin: (banging his fist on the keyboard) A, B, C, D, J, K... (turns to see Clamp) Coffee?
[He grabs a silex pot of boiling-hot water from the nearby coffee station, and flings the boiling water at Clamp, who ducks it, as it scalds the paint on the wall behind him. The gremlin zips down and hides as the tycoon slowly approaches the desk. Suddenly, the Gremlin jumps at Clamp, who tries to bat it away from his face, like a kid panicked by a moth, but his flailing knocks the Gremlin back, so that its foot is caught in the hopper of the secretary's shredder. 
Daniel Clamp: Let go of my tie!
[Hating to do it, using only his fingertips, Clamp pushes the struggling Gremlin down into the machine, which sprays him out of the bottom like a green, bloody, eyes-only memo of death. As Clamp stands gasping at the machine, the door to the corridor opens, and Billy busts in. He sees the shredder and the tattered Gremlin remains hanging from it.]
Daniel Clamp: Bill!
Billy: Mr. Clamp, sir, are you okay?
Daniel Clamp: Yeah, I think so. I hate using these machines myself.
Billy: Sir, we have a problem...
[A disheveled Forster also enters the outer office.]
Forster: We have a situation... (sees the green slime on the shredder) Oh, my God.
Billy: We have to evacuate the building and close it down.
Forster: That's ridiculous.
Billy: Before sundown.
Daniel Clamp: What happens at sundown?
Billy: They hate sunlight. It kills them. When it gets dark, they'll try to leave the building...
Forster: Calm down. He should be in custody. He's dangerous.
Daniel Clamp: This thing, that's dangerous. This guy's from the art department.
Forster: Ask him how he knows about these things.
Daniel Clamp: How do you know about them?
Billy: This animal was in the genetics lab...
Daniel Clamp: I said it could be a problem tenant. We could have had three shrinks and a plastic surgeon. (hands Forster a handkerchief) Here.
[Meanwhile, Kate's elevator, still stranded between floors, begins to rock violently. She hears countless claws outside, pounding and scraping at the elevator car. Suddenly, a drill and an axe cut through parts of the wall and gremlin arms grab at her.] 
Gremlin: Make a wish!
[A gremlin claw grabs at Kate's hair.]
Gremlin 2: Ah, hair!
[She responds by biting into his hand. The gremlin yipes and retreats. Daffy is wearing an engineer's hardhat and a work shirt with DAFFY stitched on the breast. He's at an elevator control panel with floor-number indicators, etc. As he randomly hits buttons and turns dials, meters shoot into danger zones and red lights blink ominously.]
Daffy: Going down! Second floor, lingerie.
[The elevator starts falling at an incredible rate, with the girl falling through the air inside. The elevator then falls fast toward us. The gremlins hanging on the bottom of the elevator car realize that it's curtains, but it's too late for them to do anything about it. Upon landing, green Gremlin blood splatters Kate as it gushes in through the shattering floorboards. The force of the fall throws the elevator doors open, so that a couple of suburban ladies are suddenly face-to-face with the trembling, blood-soaked Kate.]
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) The elevator doors have opened. Please leave, and watch your step.                  
Lady: We'll... We'll get the next one.
(They leave to get the next elevator. We cut to Clamp’s office, where the argument is still going on.)
Daniel Clamp: You don't think it had rabies? 
Billy: No. We must stop them from getting wet.
Daniel Clamp: No, we have to put a lid on it. No cops, no media. We'll handle this ourselves. (to Forster) You go down to systems control.
Forster: Me? But there might be some physical danger. 
Daniel Clamp: You're supposed to handle bugs. Well, I'd call these some goddamn major bugs, wouldn't you? Huh? 
Forster: Okay. But I don't think I should try it without an expert. (to Billy) Let's go, Peltzer.
(In a Clamp Cable TV studio, Leonard Maltin is taping an "At the Movies"-type show called "THE MOVIE POLICE.")
Leonard Maltin: Hi. I'm Leonard Maltin, and this is The Movie Police. (blows his police whistle) First, our video watch. Just rereleased on video is Gremlins, though I can't imagine why.
(He gingerly holds up a videocassette of the first Gremlins movie as if it is a long-dead fish.)
Leonard Maltin: I know some people found it fun, but I'd rather have root canal work done. What's fun about a movie full of ugly, mean-spirited monsters who attack innocent people? 
(He is unaware of the real Gremlins that have snuck into the studio and are mocking him for giving their film a scathing review.)
Leonard Maltin: Are we so desperate for entertainment that this trash passes for fun?
(A third gremlin pulls him down with a roll of film reel and the Gremlins attack, savagely clawing at Leonard, who quickly goes down out of view, except for his flailing hands. It then cuts to static while Leonard is shouting.)
Leonard Maltin: Wait a minute! I was just kidding! It’s a 10! A 10!
(In a toy store, Mohawk was busy ripping velcro off Gizmo as the mogwai yelps. In the Splice of Life laboratory, a scientist named Wally shows off a tomato to the twin scientists.)
Wally: Look at this. I've been working on making tomatoes tougher for shipping.
(He bounced the tomato against a wall, and it bounced back without splatting.)
Lewis: That's terrific! 
Martin: Topnotch! How do they taste? 
Wally: That's the best part. We've already had calls from two airline chefs.
(They then notice a gremlin at the potted vegetable plants with tubes connecting them to a glass vial. He grabs the vial and drinks it.)
Martin: (offscreen) Oh, my gosh!
Wally: (offscreen) Did somebody leave something out?
Lewis: Not I.
Wally: It's eating my vegetable medley.
(It stands still for a moment as his ears turn into leafy clumps of Romaine lettuce. It then burps while small vegetables pop up on its face.)
Wally: What's that noise? 
Martin: I think they're laughing. 
Lewis: Reptiles don't laugh! 
Martin: They're not reptiles. 
Lewis: Then what are they, Martin?  A virus?
(Dr. Catheter arrives at the lab, carrying a giant pod from Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and notices the gremlins stirring trouble.)
Dr. Catheter: What on earth is going on?
(Another gremlin grabs a vial with a brain insignia on it.)
Dr. Catheter: I leave you alone, what do I find when I get back? Chaos!
(The gremlin drinks up the brain vial.)
Dr. Catheter: Is that the brain hormone that creature's drinking? (approaches the gremlin) Good boy. Nice boy. There's a good creature. Now, let's talk this over. I can get you diseases. You'd like that, wouldn't you?
(The gremlin starts twitching.)
Dr. Catheter: Perhaps not.
(Then, suddenly, the transformation takes hold, in thrashing Jekyll-and-Hyde histrionics that send the Gremlin rolling on the floor. When he stands, he wears a pair of horn-rimmed glasses, and speaks fluently in a new voice, similar to that of George Plimpton.)
Brain Gremlin: I… wanna… (talks smart) talk about what's going on in here. There are some fascinating ramifications for the future. When you introduce genetic material to our life form, which is possessed of a sort of, I hesitate to say "atavism," but let us say an aggressive nature.
(He points to another gremlin, who was drinking a potion of bat formula.)
Brain Gremlin: That fellow over there is a common bat of the order of Chiroptera. The only mammals, I might add, capable of true flight.
(The Gremlin then stands watching, surprised, as bat wings sprouted out of its back. The Brain Gremlin looks at this and then gets an idea. He gets a syringe full of genetic sunblock.)
Brain Gremlin: Ah, genetic sunblock! Yes.
(He walks over to the Bat Gremlin.)
Brain Gremlin: Might I have a brief word with you? My friend, you have potential. I wanna help you be all that you can be. May I? As you're aware, sunlight poses a problem for our ethnic group. We don't tan or burn. We become a rather unappetizing photochemical leftover. Thus, this formula, designed for those of the nocturnal persuasion to make light no problem at all. That'll be useful where you'll be going.
(He injects the sunblock into the Bat Gremlin’s neck.)
Wally: What does he mean where he’ll be going?
Dr. Catheter: All they have to do is eat children, there'd be appalling publicity. 
Brain Gremlin: There it is. The Apple. The city so nice they named it twice. Check it out one time, won't you?
(The Bat Gremlin does and takes off, soaring near the ceiling.)
Dr. Catheter: Catch it! Don't let it go! 
Martin: Down! 
Lewis: Down!
(It smashes through the window, leaving the Batman symbol in the glass behind him. The Bat Gremlin flies free, soaring into the sky above New York. At the bar, a few people are drinking here, but they pay little notice to the newscaster on the TV set over the bar.)
Female Newscaster: (on TV) Here in Manhattan, there's been a steady stream of mechanical problems at the Clamp Centre office building in midtown...
(At a table, a gremlin pops out and scares a couple. A customer reaches under the salad bar's sneeze-guard with the plastic tongs to pull a clump of lettuce from the bin -- and is horrified to discover that he is holding an all-vegetable mutant gremlin by the ear. This horribly smiling thing has radishes for eyes, corn-row hair, cauliflower ears, stringbean lips, and, as it opens its mouth, a darting wax-pepper tongue. As other customers recoil, horrified, the customer tries to drop the Vege-Gremlin, but, baring its sharp artichoke teeth, it reaches out with carrot fingers to grab his tie and pulls him through the sneeze guard. In the Clamp Centre lobby's small stock brokerage office, a wider angle reveals a number of other gremlins also chasing brokers off, and grabbing their phones.)
Gremlins: (variously, on phones) Buy! Sell! Sell! Buy! Sell!
(We spot the Brain Hormone Gremlin, kicked back in a broker's chair, talking on a phone.)
Brain Gremlin: (on the phone) Yes, I'd say it's a full-scale panic. Are you having a run on the banks there yet? Well, it's rather brutal here. We're advising our clients to put everything they've got into canned food and shotguns.
(Kate runs down the hallway to see various workers being attacked by gremlins. She arrived at the lobby, where the chaos grew. It was overrun with gremlins attacking and making trouble. One worker covered with gremlins falls down, letting out a Wilhelm scream. She then comes across a gremlin, who flashes at her, only to be instantly kicked away. She’s seen it before, and she didn’t like it the last time. She then pulls the fire alarm. In the Clamp Centre, of course the fire alarm isn't some old-fashioned bell or siren. Instead, it was a documentary-narrator voice.)
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) Fire: The untamed element, giver of warmth, destroyer of forests. This building is on fire.
[Workers in an upstairs corridor, as yet unreached by the Gremlin invasion, stop to listen to the P.A. voice.]
Worker: What?
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) The building is on fire. Leave the building. Enact the age-old drama of self-preservation.
(People from offices start beating it toward the stairwell exit. In New York City, Mr. and Mrs. Futterman, dressed for sightseeing, arrive at the handsome old cathedral of Saint Eva Marie.)
Sheila: Oh, Murray, the cathedral of Saint Eva Marie. What a beautiful building! 
Murray: Beautiful? It's like something out of the Dark Ages. Hey, Quasimodo, you home?
(As they chuckle, he notices one of the gargoyles flying toward him.)
Murray: Wait...
(Only, it wasn’t a gargoyle. It was the Bat Gremlin! The old husband instantly recognizes the creature.)
Murray: It’s one of them!
Sheila: Who?
(He flails at the Bat Gremlin, batting it away from him, but it keeps coming back as Sheila stands back, too terrified to move.)
Murray: Get off!
(The New Yorkers on the sidewalk walk past him, oblivious. He backs up and we see a construction crew repairing the sidewalk in front of the cathedral. Futterman grapples with the Bat Gremlin, trying to get hold of its slashing claws. His face is cut during the scuffle.)
Sheila: It's just a flesh wound! It's just a flesh wound, Murray!
(Murray then grabs the creature’s legs and slams it into the cement. He pushes the cement pipe at the creature, so the cement would dump onto it. As Murray runs to his wife, the Bat Gremlin begins to flap its wings slowly, lofting painfully toward the cathedral, as the cement starts hardening. As the Gremlin regains his perch, the cement solidifies, so that he is now a Gargoyle for real... and for good. Back in the toy store, George has finished making a gremlin out of Lego bricks until Lenny pops out of a toy dump truck, knocking him over and making the Lego Gremlin crash into pieces. Mohawk was busy torturing Gizmo, who was tied to the tracks, by controlling a model train and hitting him. The mohawked gremlin laughs evilly and runs off. Back inside the building, people from offices are fleeing the chaos.)
Martin: Hurry up, Lewis!
Lewis: I'm comin', Martin!
(Billy and Forster hurry toward the Systems Control Center, almost trip over a number of escaped lab animals, who are fleeing down the hallway. The animals are followed by the breathless Dr. Catheter, who is hurrying even faster. Dr. Catheter's mind has apparently snapped.)
Dr. Catheter: The horror! The horror... the breakage!
Billy: Sir, what happened?
Dr. Catheter: What happened? Th-th-they fought back, that's what... things... stuff... (grabs Billy's shirt) I swear to God, young man, I will never hurt anything ever again. There are some things that man was not meant to splice...
Forster: He has a problem, tenant.
Billy: Sir, please try and calm down.
Forster: We don't intend to renew your lease.
Billy: Just tell us where you saw the things.
Dr. Catheter: Don't patronize me, young man! They're real, I saw them.
(Suddenly, the frame starts to jitter, as there's something wrong with the projector.)
Billy: I know, I've seen them too, but where?
Dr. Catheter: In my laboratory, the Splice of Life. Stupid name, I know. But it wasn't my idea...
(Then the film freezes, caught in the gate. A burn spot appears, consuming the image of Bill and the others. The frame fills with white light and we hear a flapping sound, as if the reel were spinning uselessly in the projector. In the stereo surrounds, we begin to hear the sounds of gremlin laughter. Gremlin silhouettes appear on a screen, making shadow puppets with their claws. Another appears with a roll of film and runs up towards the audience. The frame is then filled by a grainy black and white title card reading "SUN WORSHIPER FILMS PRESENTS VOLLEYBALL HOLIDAY.” This was an old nudie film about women playing volleyball naked. We cut to a mother dragging her daughter out of the theater.)
Daughter: Mom! I wanna see the Gremlins!
(The mother enters the lobby and accosts the beleaguered-looking manager.)
Mother: Uh, sir...
Daughter: Mom!
Mother: I can't believe this! I mean... this is worse than the first one!
Theater Manager: We just show these movies, madam. We don't make them.
Mother: But...
(A man covered with film, obviously the projectionist, staggers up to the manager. His clothes are in tatters.)
Projectionist: I quit. I quit. Call--call the union, call the National Guard. Those things have taken over the projector! They refuse to show the rest of the film! All they wanna see is Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!
Theater Manager: Enough! I'll take care of this.
(He walks into the theater, where the nudie film was showing. He walks down the lobby and comes to a member in the audience: famed wrestler Hollywood Hulk Hogan.)
Theater Manager: Mr. Hulk, we have Gremlins in the projection booth. Could you help us?
Hulk Hogan: Gremlins? In this theater? Now?
(The manager points a light stick upward toward the projection booth in our theater. Hogan, quickly grasping the situation, addresses the Gremlins in the booth.)
Hulk Hogan: Okay, you guys! Listen up! People paid good money to see this movie! When they go out to a theater, they want cold sodas, hot popcorn, and no monsters in the projection booth! Do I have to come up there myself? (rips his shirt off) Do you think the Gremsters can stand up to the Hulkster? Well, if I were you, I'd run the rest of Gremlins 2, right now! (to the audience) Sorry, folks. It won't happen again.
(The audience applauds and cheers, and the film resumes, in a new setting: the Clamp Cable Network control booth. Grandpa Fred comes into the control room to find multiple monitors showing the signals of several New York TV stations to a deserted room. As Fred watches, pan three monitors showing news people in front of the Clamp Centre Building.
Newscaster: (on TV) I'm outside the Clamp Centre office building... ... where something strange is taking place inside, though...
Newscaster 2: (on TV) ...been a day Mr. Clamp would like to forget.
Newscaster 3: (on TV) Talking about green creatures. Police are not permitting any news media inside. Once we are allowed in... ... we'll broadcast live from inside the building. 
Grandpa Fred: Live... from inside.
Fred's face registers what he's thinking: this is it. His break. He runs out into the corridor, where Katsuji, the camera-happy tourist from Kate's tour group, is fleeing down the hall.
Grandpa Fred: Hey, you! Come here. No! Can you work a TV camera?
Mr. Katsuji: Work a camera? I am a camera!
Grandpa Fred: Oh, good! Come with me. (Katsuji almost runs in the opposite direction) No, this way. This way.
[As they run off, we come back to the lab, where a gremlin drinks the lightning bolt vial. It burps and soon becomes a 2D-animated gremlin of electricity, zapping around like a bolt. Another gremlin finds a vial of acid and throws it at a gremlin’s face. As its face starts melting, he puts on a mask similar to Phantom of the Opera. We then see another empty vial on the ground, a symbol of gender-switch. The camera pans up to reveal the drinker having become female. Billy and Forster follow Dr. Catheter in….]
Dr. Catheter: I know, you think I'm insane. 
Forster: No, if you were, we couldn't sue you.
[...to find a riot of Gremlins, binging on genetic elixirs and trashing lab equipment.]
Forster: Oh, my God.
Dr. Catheter: You see? 
Forster: This is a complete failure... ...of management. 
Billy: They're eating the genetic stuff.
Dr. Catheter: Years of research, patents!
Billy: They're afraid of bright lights. Are there any bright lights?
Dr. Catheter: They've broken them all. But I do have some small assault weapons.
[Forster is quickly waylaid by the Gremlin who drank the sex hormone earlier, and has become a mutant, amorous girl gremlin, with green hair and big red lips. She develops an instant crush on Forster, her heart pounding half-out of her chest.]
Greta: What a hunk!
[Greta jumps up onto Forster's chest, embraces his neck, and moves in for a kiss.]
Greta: Don’t be afraid of your feelings!
Forster: (terrified) Help!
[But Dr. Catheter is rushing to a cabinet at the back of the lab.]
Dr. Catheter: It's a hobby I knew would come in handy. I got ordinance here that can drop a charging puma at 50 feet.
[As Forster backs out of the room, the Girl Gremlin now hangs fiercely on his leg.]
Greta: Oh, why can’t you commit?
Dr. Catheter: That's what these things need, a taste of...
[He then screams as he takes his arm out of the cabinet with a gremlin attached by the teeth. Trying to shake it off, Catheter goes tripping through the wrecked lab, crashing into equipment.]
Dr. Catheter: Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
[Billy pulls the gremlin off his arm and the Electric Gremlin surges out of a desk lamp and zaps Catheter, electrocuting him to death. It then cackles and zooms into the power socket. Suddenly, a shot rang out in the lab and Billy looked to see Mohawk with an uzi. He runs out of the lab while avoiding the bullets. Mohawk then picks up a vial with a spider insignia on it and smiles evilly. Back in the toy store, Gizmo frees himself from his bonds and remembers what John Rambo had said on the TV.]
John Rambo: (voiceover) To survive a war... you've got to become war.
[The mogwai decides he’s had enough of Mohawk’s torture. It was time… to fight back. As the crowd builds outside the building, some TV news people argue with a cop.]
Newscaster 3: Let us in there. We'll take responsibility. 
Cop: Most people are out anyway. 
Newscaster 2: What's in there? I've been to Beirut.  
Cop: I bet they miss you there.
[In his office, the tycoon is talking on the phone.]
Daniel Clamp: (on the phone) The important thing is to keep this out of the media. They get you to say something then they twist and embellish it, and before you know it...
[Clamp stops as he sees a wall monitor with a ''CLAMP NEWS NETWORK" sign under it. Grandpa Fred stands amid the lobby carnage, covered by Katsuji's slightly jerky hand-held camera. Clamp, whitening, flicks the sound on.]
Grandpa Fred: (on TV)  ...live, exclusively over the Clamp News Channel from the lobby, where this invasion by strange creatures, perhaps from another galaxy or from a dimensional warp has run riot through this building, sending people... 
Daniel Clamp: Dracula?
[We then cut to Gizmo lifting up a big dumbbell and holding it up for a few seconds until he crashes through the floor. Back outside, as the breathless Futtermans arrive at the building, they see a TV newsperson interviewing the nearly hysterical Microwave Marge beside the door.]
Microwave Marge: These horrible little green monsters in that building there! You can't do that...
[The couple noticed some firefighters hooking up their hoses, ready to go inside the building. They rushed over to them.]
Murray: Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold it! No water.
Firefighter: What?
Murray: That's not a fire in there. They're gremlins. You get them wet, they'll multiply. I can deal with them.
Cop: (disbelieving) Sure, pal. Why don't you calm down? Just take it easy.
Murray: Don't talk to me like I'm crazy. I'm not crazy! I was never crazy. I'm fine. Let me in there!
[Meanwhile, inside Clamp Centre, Mohawk peeks around the corner and drinks up the spider vial. He starts choking and, as the camera pans to the wall, his shadow starts to grow spider legs. Billys come into Clamp's office to find the tycoon putting on pants.]
Daniel Clamp: Bill, any progress? Just tell me there's progress.
Billy: Things are really bad out there.
Daniel Clamp: Bad?! Only one of my channels is still on the air. There are human beings in the building. Do you know what kind of lawsuits we're looking at?
Billy: Yes, I know, but...
[But as he speaks, the Electric Gremlin emerges from a wall socket behind Clamp. Clamp turns to see the Electric Gremlin glide-swims through the air, coming straight at him. Billy grabs the receiver of a video-phone and steps in between Clamp and the Electric Gremlin. At the last possible instant, he holds the receiver up in the Electric Gremlin's path. The glowing beast touches the mouthpiece, disappears inside, and shows up an instant later on the video-phone's screen, trapped, writhing in pain, as recorded voices bounce around it and issue from the phone's speaker.]
Recorded Voice: All of our operators are busy. Your call will be handled in the order received.
Daniel Clamp: What is that?
Billy: One of those things.
Daniel Clamp: They come in electric too?
Billy: They do now. He's in the phone system on hold.
[The music begins: a cheery Muzak rendition of "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head." The Electric Gremlin writhes more fiercely, his pain doubled. Later, Clamp puts a tape into a VCR head under wall monitors.]
Daniel Clamp: I thought this would never run. Maybe it will, now.
[Several monitors fill with a montage of images -- "beauty shots" of animals, sunsets, beaches, etc.]
CCN Announcer: (voiceover) Because of the end of civilization, CCN now leaves the air. We hope you have enjoyed our programming. But more importantly, we hope you have enjoyed life.
Daniel Clamp: It's beautiful, isn't it?
Billy: Yes, sir. It's very uplifting. Is there any way to turn the clocks ahead in the building three hours?
Daniel Clamp: There's nothing we can't do. Why?
Billy: Sunlight kills them. If we can fool them into thinking the sun has gone down.. ...they may go to the lobby.
Daniel Clamp: Right! The front doors are the only way out of the building.
[He takes out a pocket computer-scheduler and pushes a few buttons.]
Daniel Clamp: The sun sets at 7:32.
Billy: Then we should move at 4:20.
Daniel Clamp: I like that! We have information they don't have. That's how you take somebody out. Wait a minute. Won't they see the sun's still out?
Billy: You'll have to take care of that.
Daniel Clamp: Me?
Billy: Set it up from the outside.
Daniel Clamp: Good! I finally get to use my secret exit.
Billy: You know, sir?
Daniel Clamp: Yes?
Billy: If you pull this off, you could save the city.
Daniel Clamp: Save the city? "Developer Saves City." I like that!
[In the control center, George and Lenny are using the monitors to watch “The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.” When the titular beast eats a shooting cop, the two laugh. Meanwhile, walking down a dim corridor, Marla calls out indignantly.]
Marla: Is anyone still employed in this charming facility? I need light in my office. Now!
Clamp Building Announcer: (via intercom) At Clamp Enterprises we want you to achieve all you can.
Marla: Turn on the lights in my office. You want me to work in the dark?
[While she was walking, she bumps into a tangle of spiderwebs.]
Marla: This is new.
[We go back to Gizmo, who was busy punching the air while approaching a punching bag. He then punches the bag, which then swings back at him, sending him flying. Outside, Daniel steps out of a secret exit from an elevator hidden under a tree. The news reporters spot him.]
Newscaster: Hey, that's Clamp! Let's go!
[The news people rush over to the rich tycoon and interview him.]
Newscaster 3: Has the building been evacuated?
Newscaster 2: Is it on fire?
Daniel Clamp: That's a false alarm. We've just got some problems.
Newscaster 2: You got a guy in there in a Dracula suit. Are you trying to panic the city?
Newscaster: So they are real?
Daniel Clamp: I didn't say that.
Newscaster 2: What are you saying?
Daniel Clamp: What I always say.
[As the media mob follows Clamp across the street, Mr. Futterman pushes the other way, toward Clamp’s sidewalk elevator. A couple of people notice...]
Sheila: Murray?
[...but Mr. Futterman pushes the button, and he's below street level before anyone can catch a bin. In the wrecked control center, Lenny browses the console, looking for buttons that still work, and jamming on them at random. He hits a few sliders in a bank marked “CLIMATE CONTROL.” As Billy moves quickly down a corridor, searching, a wind storm comes out of the vents. Papers from nearby offices swirl into the corridor. As he bats flying memos away and struggles against the wind, he hears a noise in a nearby office, and goes inside to investigate. The camera follows his shadow as he enters a dentist’s office.]
Billy: Gizmo?
[He's suddenly joined by the shadow of a gremlin (Daffy). Seen in shadows, the Gremlin whacks him over the head with a mallet. Meanwhile, Gizmo had entered an empty office by vent and climbed down via paper-clip chain. Gizmo is on the desktop, rummaging in the open top drawer. With a quiet, stern determination we haven't seen in him before, he gathers up a few things: a rubber band, a wooden match, and a paperclip, which he starts to straighten into a bow. As Gizmo works, we pan to a digital desk clock. Its numbers flash ahead three hours. The big lobby clock is also moving ahead three hours. We pan up to the TV set in the bar. The TV screen shows Grandpa Fred, in a cable TV studio with a Donahue or Gerald Q-type talk show set-up, getting ready to interview the Brain Gremlin.]
Grandpa Fred: (on TV) As you probably know... (a gremlin claw powders his face) As you probably know, an entire race of strange beings has invaded the building.
[Pan down to the bar, where a number of Gremlins are drinking, and enjoying the broadcast on the TV set behind the bar.]
Grandpa Fred: (on TV) And in an even more bizarre twist, one of the creatures... (to the Brain Gremlin) "Creatures." Is that accurate?
Brain Gremlin: (offscreen) Mm-hmm.
[Grandpa Fred and the Brain Gremlin are in the studio, where Katsuji is working the big floor-model camera.]
Grandpa Fred: That one of these creatures is able to talk and he's going to talk with us right now. (to the Brain Gremlin) The main question people have is: Creature, what is it that you want?
Brain Gremlin: Fred, what we want is what you and your viewers have: Civilization.                  
Grandpa Fred: Yes, but what sort of civilization are you speaking of?
Brain Gremlin: The niceties. The fine points. Diplomacy, compassion, standards, manners, tradition. That's what we reach toward. We may stumble on the way, but civilization, yes. The Geneva Convention, Susan Sontag. Everything you've worked hard to accomplish, we aspire to. We wanna be civilized.
[On TV, a dopey-looking gremlin wanders into frame, grinning stupidly, waving at Fred's offscreen camera.]
Brain Gremlin: Take a look at this fellow here.
[He gets out a gun and shoots the dopey Gremlin. The bar Gremlins love it.]
Brain Gremlin: Now, was that civilized? Clearly not. Fun, but in no sense civilized. None of us has been in New York before. We have to learn how to get tickets for shows. There's street crime, but we can watch that for free. We want the essentials. Dinettes, bedroom groups... credit even if we've been turned down before.
[As the bar Gremlins live it up, outside the building, workers with cranes position a cloth theatrical backdrop, the Red Square scene, in front of the doors.]
Daniel Clamp: Take it easy with that thing. Be careful up there!
[A fire chief comes over to Clamp.]
Fire Chief: What's that thing for?
Daniel Clamp: These things can only come out when it's dark. We set the clocks ahead. When they think it's sunset and see what a nice night it is, they'll muster in the lobby. The sunlight'll pour through here and fry them!
Fire Chief: Sure.
[Inside the dentist’s office, Billy is blinking himself groggily to consciousness, seeing the room through the blur of concussion. He finds himself tied to the chair . There's an unpleasant, whining noise as Billy sees Daffy, now in dentist’s whites, revving up the high-speed drill and moving in on him. Daffy's face mask doesn't hide his goofy, eager eyes. Billy flails desperately, but it just leaves his mouth unprotected. Daffy wedges a claw in and moves in with the drill.]
Daffy: Is it safe?
Billy: Help!
Just before the drill can make contact, Murray Futterman enters the room.
Murray: Billy!
[They turn to see Mr. Futterman coming quickly towards them from the doorway. Daffy turns on him with the drill, aiming for his chest.]
Murray: I hate these little things!
[Mr. Futterman reaches overhead, turns on the bright castle lamp, and aims it at Daffy, who shrieks, drops the drill, and runs from the dentist's office.]
Murray: You okay, Billy?
Billy: Yeah. Get me out of here.
[As he goes to free him, Kate walks down the corridor, flashlight in hand.]
Kate: Billy?
Marla: Could I get some help here, please? I'm trapped in adhesive polymer material... and I'm on deadline!
[She rounds the corridor to see Marla struggling in the web.]
Marla: Darling, it's you! Thank God you're here.
Kate: Well, I could help you, or I could just leave you here.
Marla: Listen, about Billy. Nothing happened. I asked him out to dinner. It was strictly business. Okay, it wasn't completely business, I'll be honest. It'll be an openness thing.   I had designs on him. I didn't get to first base. Okay?
Kate: It'll do.
[She reaches into her purse and pulls out a Swiss Army knife.]
Marla: What a wonderfully prepared woman.
[But as she cuts Marla down, Marla sees something else and screams. Kate looked in Marla’s direction and screams. The hideous creature that once was Mohawk, coming toward them. Mohawk has the same head and torso he did before, but his limbs are now eight fairy spider legs, stretching as wide and high as the corridor. Back with Billy, as he and Murray run down the steps, they hear the others’ screams in the direction it came from. Mohawk moves toward the women with a spider's predatory nimbleness, quickly closing the distance. They stood helplessly as the monster clambered towards them for the kill, when, suddenly, a vent in the ceiling clatters open, and Gizmo drops from it, falling to a display case on the wall between the spider and its prey. He wears a red headband and carries a homemade weapon: a bow made from the paper clip and rubber band, and a wooden match as an arrow. The mogwai, his enemy menacing the girl. Grim determination shows on his face. Holding the drawn bow and arrow in front of him, he pivots on the display case, so that the match scratches against the wall and catches fire.]
Mohawk: Gizmo...
[Gizmo launches the arrow, which catches Spider-Mohawk in mid-body. The flames spread over his body and to his hairy legs as he writhes, tumbles over, and dies. The others arrive to rescue the girls and Gizmo and watch as the spider’s corpse burns.]
Kate: What happened to him?
Billy: I don't know. I guess they pushed him too far. If they get out...
Murray: We'll stop them, Billy. Don't give up now. Washington didn't. Lincoln...
Kate: Please!
Billy: What?
Kate: Don't mention Lincoln. A terrible thing happened to me once on Lincoln's birthday. I was 6 or 7. I had the day off from school. Mama sent me to the park. She made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That's all I ever ate. A man with a beard and hat... Just like Lincoln.
Billy: Honey, we don't have time for this now.
Kate: (as Billy takes her away) I remember... Oh, God. He said, "Hello, little girl."
[Back in the lobby, gremlins are converging in the lobby. George, Lenny, Daffy, and a host of others. Their mood is excited, anticipatory. We spot tourist paraphernalia on several Gremlins: cameras and a Fodor guidebook or two. The Brain Gremlin, standing nearest the front doors, addresses his charges.]
Brain Gremlin: Is everybody here?
[A cheer of assent from the Gremlins.]
Brain Gremlin: All right, then! From the top!
[The Brain Gremlin holds a sports coat over one shoulder, Frank Sinatra--style. As he nears the doors, he starts singing "New York, New York," with the gremlins singing the backup horn part behind him. Billy, Kate, Marla, Gizmo and Mr. Futterman arrive on the mezzanine. They look over the railing, at the Gremlin assembly below.]
Murray: These guys aren't bad.
Grandpa Fred: Incredible as it seems, ladies and gentlemen... after their bizarre, bloodcurdling rampage of destruction... these strange creatures now appear to be mounting what seems to be... a musical number.
[The gremlins then lower down hexagon tiles to show the face of Greta, who emerges from the right eye tile in a beautiful dress. Some gremlins have formed a conga line, while others are getting out weapons, intent on taking over New York.]
Kate: They're near the doors.
Billy: Don't worry. Soon Mr. Clamp will drop the cloth and let in the sun.
[Outside, Clamp and the crew were ready to drop down the cloth.]
Daniel Clamp: Okay, are we ready to drop this thing?
[Clamp looks up at the darkening sky, where the thunder is growing louder. The clouds covered the sun. This was bad news for the gang.]
Kate: Sunlight?
[Some more gremlins load cameras and flip through guidebooks such as "Dining After Midnight in New York." A few of them drank up at the bar, while one got a WB shield tattooed on his chest. We then see two gremlins, one of them playing with the Igor puppet while the other holds a camera.]
Photographer Gremlin: Say cheese!
[He snaps a picture and the puppet-wielding gremlin instantly turns into a skeleton, killed by a blind light like rule one of how to take care of a Mogwai. Meanwhile, The Phantom Gremlin was playing a sinister score on the organ while a gremlin, dressed as a princess, came up to him. She takes off his mask, revealing a melted, disfigured face underneath. The Phantom Gremlin points and hisses at her. Back with the gang...]
Murray: They get in the rain, the city will go under. Armageddon! WWIII!
Kate: Billy, we've gotta do something. 
Billy: I know.
[He points to a coiled canvas fire hose in a case on the wall nearby.]
Billy: There's a fire hose. Aim it into the lobby. 
Murray: Are you crazy? 
Billy: Just do it, and fast! (to Kate) Put Gizmo in a box so he doesn't get wet. (to Marla) Marla... Smoke. 
Marla: (while smoking a cigarette) Thanks.
[Some Gremlins in the bar have formed a Rockettes-style kick line. As Murray walks over to the fire hose, a gremlin pops out of a trash bin and spits at him.
Spit Gremlin: Loogie!
[The man has had enough of this, and he grabs the gremlin. As the elevator doors open, he throws the gremlin down the shaft.]
Murray: (to the elevator) Lobby!
[While the doors closed, we heard a splatter offscreen. The gremlin had fallen to his death.]
Murray: Don’t mess with Futterman!
[After Kate hides Gizmo in a box, Billy drags a video-phone extension out of a mezzanine office and brings it to Kate.]
Billy: There's a call on hold in Mr. Clamp's office. Can you transfer it here? 
Kate: Yeah, I think so.
[Mr. Futterman hauls out the hose and aims it at the lobby.]
Murray: Ready, Billy?
Billy: Turn it on!
[Mr. Futterman turns on the hose….]
Brain Gremlin: (sings) New York, New York!
[...and water splashes onto the lobby's doors, its windows, its floor, and the Gremlins, delighted, turn to catch the spray. Their skin starts to bubble. The camera finds miniature gremlins in the bubbles, as the lobby fills with the rising smoke and light of Gremlin replication.]
Murray: Billy... sure hope you know what the hell you're doin'.
Bathing Gremlin: (sings) Singin' in the bathtub!
[On the mezzanine, Marla keeps Gizmo shielded in the box as Kate furiously punches at the video-phone's keypad.]
Kate: Bypass the file server...
[On the screen of the video-phone, the Electric Gremlin writhes in agony, trying to get off Hold, as the plastic button blinks beneath the screen.]
Billy: That's it!
Kate: My God!
[Billy grabs the phone from Kate, lifts the receiver, and holds it out over the mezzanine.]
Billy: Mr. Futterman, turn off the hose!
Mr. Futterman shuts off the hose.
Billy: Hit it!
[Kate pushes the blinking button and the Electric Gremlin shoots out of the receiver, swooping down into the lobby. A jillion watts of searing electricity spreads across the lobby, nailing the Gremlins where they stand and frying them. On the mezzanine, Billy and company shield their eyes from the glaring light show, and their ears from the Gremlins' death screams as the threatened invasion of all New York becomes a sodden, viscous puddle of green, churning protoplasm that swamps the lobby. Gizmo peeks a little.]
Wicked Witch Gremlin: (as he melts) I'm melting! Oh, what a world, what a world!
Grandpa Fred: (from the trash bin) The strange creatures, they're... they seem to be just melting into horrible little green and brown... puddles. It's, it's, uh, it's--it's like-- well, I can't say what it looks like... on television, ladies and gentlemen, but it looks terrible.
[As the Brain Gremlin melts, he croaks out one last time.]
Brain Gremlin: (sings) New York... New York...
[And then, he slumps over and dies. Soon, our heroes sigh with relief, their bodies untensing. Just then, Clamp arrives outside leading a SWAT team in full combat gear.]
Daniel Clamp: Let's go! Come on!
[They rushed to the automatic door, but it wouldn’t move.]
Daniel Clamp: It's stuck. Come on. Back up here.
[They rushed to another, but that didn't open either. They decide to enter via an ordinary door.]
Daniel Clamp: We'll take them by this door. Come on! Charge!
[They ran inside, only to see nothing but green goop, which Clamp slips on. The SWAT team picks him up from the floor.]
Daniel Clamp: I didn't hurt myself. Maybe we can use this stuff for landfill.
Grandpa Fred: (via microphone) We’re here exclusively with Daniel R. Clamp.
Daniel Clamp: Hey! Hey! Wait a minute, pal! Who told you to go on my network? 
Grandpa Fred: Nobody, sir. It just seemed like news, so...
Daniel Clamp: Right, right. I'm making you an anchor. Six o'clock, weeknights. Go to Barneys and get new clothes. Give this man a credit card. (indicates Fred’s Dracula costume) This is Old World. Think sweaters. Think avuncular.
Grandpa Fred: Right. Avuncular! What about my cameraman?
Daniel Clamp: Off caffeine, he's okay. 
Mr. Katsuji: I'm a hit!
Grandpa Fred: We're a hit. (via microphone) What does a menswear makeover cost today? Join us as we investigate...
Daniel Clamp: And get some sun this weekend! (to Billy) Hey, Bill! Oh, boy!
[As the SWAT team walked around the slimy floor, one of the soldiers thought something moved and fired at the ground.]
SWAT Captain: What's happening? 
SWAT Soldier: It moved, sir. 
SWAT Captain: All right. Carry on.
[Billy and Kate walk down the stairs from the mezzanine and go over to join Clamp.]
Daniel Clamp: Careful, that stuff's slippery. So you bailed us out. 
Billy: It wasn't just me. We all chipped in. Mr. Futterman and Marla. 
[Clamp looks at Marla.]
Daniel Clamp: Marla? 
Marla: Yes, sir? 
Daniel Clamp: You work for me, don't you? 
Marla: Yes, sir. Very, very hard. 
[Clamp nods, looks at her, as if for the first time. Something promising passes between them… as the doors to the building open, admitting Sheila Futterman and a small crowd of reporters. Sheila sloshes hurriedly through the goo to Murray's side.]
Sheila: What happened? 
Murray: They tried it again, but we were ready. Let's go. Smells like burnt meatloaf.
Sheila: There’s Daniel Clamp!
[The reporters rush over to Clamp.]
Newscaster 3: He's here! Mr. Clamp, can we have a statement? 
Daniel Clamp: Please, please! (indicates Marla) My new head of public relations here will handle all questions. 
Marla: (surprised) Why, Daniel!
[The reporters then latch onto Marla.]
Newscaster 3: What happened?
Marla: Where's the camera? It was horrible. We had to stop work altogether.
[Meanwhile, Billy and Kate commiserate with Clamp.]
Billy: Mr. Clamp… I'm sorry about the building.
Daniel Clamp: I'm not. 
Kate: You're not?
Daniel Clamp: No, we're insured for the damages. Maybe it wasn't a place for people anyway. It was a place for things. You make a place for things. Things come. 
Billy: Well, sir, you kept the city safe. 
Daniel Clamp: That's right. That's a good point. The sacrifice. Could be in my next book! I should take notes. Who's got a pencil and paper?
[Billy rummages, comes up with paper and pencil from his pockets, and hands them to Clamp.]
Billy: Here you go.
[But as Clamp unfolds the paper...]
Daniel Clamp: What’s this?
[It's Billy's drawing of the main street of Kingston Falls.]
Billy: It’s Kingston Falls.
Daniel Clamp: I've looked for this! 
Billy: To buy? 
Daniel Clamp: No, to build for my next project in Jersey! This is terrific! People want the traditional community thing now. Quiet little towns, back to the earth. Is this your concept?
Kate: It's our hometown.
Daniel Clamp: That's better. I love that! It's... Wait. It's... "Clamp Corners. Where life slows down to a crawl." What do you think? 
Kate: It's terrific!
Daniel Clamp: This is what people want, not talking elevators. You sell me this design, and we'll build the biggest, most sensational quiet little town ever. 
Kate: But for him to do an entire town... 
Daniel Clamp: We can come to a deal. Are you Mrs. Peltzer?
Kate: Yes! Well, I'm gonna be.
[Gizmo peeks out of the box and Clamp sees him.]
Daniel Clamp: What’s that?
Kate: This is Gizmo. 
Daniel Clamp: What?
Kate: He's a Mogwai. 
Gizmo: Mogwai. 
Daniel Clamp: It’s funny I look at him, you know what I see?
Billy: What's that, sir?
Daniel Clamp: Dolls with suction cups staring out car windows. A Macy's parade float. Have you thought about merchandising? 
Billy: Me? No. 
Daniel Clamp: Yeah! There's something there. Lose the headband, though.
Gizmo shook his head.
Billy: He likes the headband.
Daniel Clamp: It's flexible. Excuse me. Most buildings wouldn't stand up to this...
Gizmo: Go home now.
[And so, they walked out of the building as the Futtermans were having a conversation with Microwave Marge.]
Microwave Marge: Put a glaze of cheese on top. 
Sheila: (to her husband) Your favorite. 
Murray: Yeah, sure.
Gizmo: (inside the box) Showtime! MTV. 
Kate: Are you coming? 
Murray: In a minute. 
Gizmo: (inside the box) HBO. 
Kate: What was that? What did he say? 
Billy: He wants to know if we have cable. 
Gizmo: (inside the box) Nick at Nite?
(Back in the building, an assistant slogs over to Clamp, carrying a cellular phone.)
Assistant: From the building. 
Daniel Clamp: In the building? (gets on the phone) Hello? Forster, what are you...? Okay, we'll get you out. What floor? Way up there! It'll take a while. The elevators are out. So are the automatic doors. I don't know, not long. We'll do what we can. Keep your pants on. You've been working too hard.
(We find Forster inside the bathroom, covered in kiss marks from his encounter with Greta.)
Forster: (on the phone) Maybe I have, Mr. Clamp. 
Daniel Clamp: (on the phone) Take a day off. Half a day. 
Forster: (on the phone) That's generous, sir. A half-day off once the building is operational. Thank you, sir.
(As he hangs up, the lights start to dim. Forster backs fearfully toward a wall as Greta, dressed in a bridal outfit, moves slowly across the floor toward him, with what she imagines is great seductiveness. He tries to melt into the wall as the girl gremlin’s big lips kiss the screen, putting it in black. "THE END" appears on screen. As the credits roll, Daffy occasionally appears.)
Daffy Duck: Long, isn't it? Patently ridiculous! Still lurking about? Don't you people have homes?
(After the credits, we fade to the empty Looney Tunes ring. Porky bursts out of the hole.)
Porky Pig: Th-th-th-that's all... 
Daffy Duck: (pulls Porky away) Oh no you don't! Sorry. Sixty years of hoggin' the end title is enough! So, th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks! 
(The shield with “Title Animation Written and Directed by Chuck Jones” entitled on it was slammed on Daffy.)
Daffy Duck: (in pain) Fade out...!
(Movie ends to black.)
Category:Warner Bros. films
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