Dyslexia's Lair

Prerecommendations : Have at least 8 to 12 level 12-14s online for guild raids at all times with sufficient communication.
==Starting a Raid==
The Guild Leader can start the raid by reporting to Dyslexia's Lair, located in Townshire's Learning Center.
: Dyslexia's Lair
: As a Guild Leader, you, and only you, have the ability to begin a Guild Raid!
: Would you like to begin Dyslexia's Lair?
: >>> Let it begin!
Once the guild raid starts, phase 1 begins with an impromptu message being sent to all guild members:
: Subject: Dyslexia's Lair Awaits!
: From: <guild leader name>
: Message: Attention members of <guild name>! Your Guild Leader, <guild leader name>, has started the Dyslexia's Lair Raid! To join the fight, report to Dyslexia's Lair inside the Learning Center in Townshire!
As the message suggests, all members need to report to Dyslexia's Lair for a briefing on the tasks ahead.
==Phase 1: Minions and Egg Incubation==
For this first part, there are two major tasks at hand: the guild must fight 250 various minions scaling to the character/s level with approximately 3200~3500HP (at level 14) while collecting and incubating 144 porkin eggs. There is no time restriction for this part of Dyslexia's Lair and the two tasks can be done simultaneously, there is no order in which to do them. It is recommended to split the guild into two groups or to do one task at a time.
===Eggs and Incubating===
The eggs can be found by fighting the Porkin Patch's pigs in Bread Basket. They are a 100% drop, so no waste of adventure points.
 After obtaining the amount of 144 porkin eggs, the next step involves incubating them in the Porkin Hut. This can only be done in batches of 12 and it is highly recommended to deposit all the eggs in the Guild Vault, and for one particular member to incubate them all at once (it saves adventure points).
The enemies in the Porkin Patch are low level, lower level members should do this part of the task, if you decide to split the guild into two groups as suggested earlier.
The last step is to deliver all the eggs back to Dyslexia's Lair.
===Minions===
The minions can be found in Dyslexia's Lair. They are the same letter creatures you can find in the Learning Center's Bookshelves, but in the Lair, they are level 14.
For this task, it is recommended to send the higher level members of the guild.
===Completing Phase 1===
A cumulative of 394 adventure points is needed to complete Phase 1 of the guild raid; totalling around 33 adventure points for 12 people and 17 adventure points for 24 people. This phase has no time limit restrictions, meaning you can stay in this phase indefinetely. However, having incubated eggs (totalled) 144 distributed amongst guild members will prevent you from being able of incubating eggs for the remainder of the raid.
Beware! The phase 2 starts immediately after completing phase 1!
===Dialogue===
: Dyslexia's Lair
: You've arrived at the entrance to Lysdex...er...Dyslexia's Lair.
: >>> Enter the Lair
:: A Man with A Plan
:: As you cautiously enter the dank Lair, which reeks of the scent that only musky libraries produce, you suddenly hear a voice with an odd accent through a nearby Vent.
:: "Odd groups go to left, even groups go to right! You must defeat many, many of her minions! You'll also need INCUBATING PORKIN EGGS! Don't ask why! Just do it or it'll be a 50 DKP MINUS!"
:: Angry lille Vent, isn't he?
:: "You've got 250 minions left to slay! And you need 144 more Eggs! Handle it!"
:: >>> Fight Minions!
: Incubating Porkin Egg 
: "SQUEEE!" the Porkin squeals, as you approach. If ever there was an expert at incubating things, clearly this guy is it.
: He tops a sign nailed to the side of his nest with his foot. The sign reads:
: EGGS ONLY ACCEPTED IN DOZENS. THAT MEANS 12.
: Well then. Got eggs?
:
Closed for Business (You may be prompted with this dialogue if you already have all the incubated eggs necessary.)
</p>
The Porkin crosses his arms and stares intently at you. A stare that could only translate as "Your Guild has the required number of Incubated Eggs and therefore I will no longer be offering my warm tush's services."
==Phase 2: Dots and Egg Smashing==
Phase 2 has a time restriction of 2 hours to complete or 120 minutes and begins automatically after the completion of Phase 1. A total of 288 adventure points minimum must be used between guild members with 144 attributed to collecting dots and the other 144 destroying and replacing eggs. These two tasks need to be completed in order.
===Dots===
Dots can be found by fighting enemies in the Sar Chasm. They must be thrown at Dyslexia to distract her (it?).
It is, once again, a good idea to ask all members to put the collected dots in the Guild Vault so that one member can take all the deposited dots and throw them to Dyslexia. Note that you can only throw 144 dots at one time. Throwing the dots all at once will also save you many adventures.
Note: Once all dots (a total of 144) have been obtained, the enemies at The Sar Chasm will not drop any more.
===Egg Smashing===
Once Dyslexia is distracted with the dots, you need to smash her (its) eggs and replace them with porkin eggs.
When you smash eggs, some may spawn level 14 Hwelps. That's why it is recommended to send your high level members to complete this task.
Note about Hwelps:
*Hwelps do not give XP when slain.
*When escaping from them, you might get thrown to the Rickety Docks with this message:
===Dialogue===
: Dyslexia Appears! (Upon killing the last minion)
: With legions of her loyal guardians slain, Dyslexia appears with a "ROAR," or rather, a "RAOR!"
: The man in the Vent yells over the din of whooshing air, "Quick! she's preparing her legendary 'Deep Bearth' attack! Legens say it takes 2 Hours to prepare!"
: Oddly specific, those legends.
: "It'll causer her eggs to hatch and you'll be overrun by her younglings! You'll have to distract her by throwing DOTS! The Sar Chasm has Dots! As long as she's distracted by the Dots, others of you can smash Hwelp eggs and replace them with Porkin eggs!
: "You need to throw 144 more Dots and smash 144 more Eggs! And you have only 2 hours left!"
: 2 Rows! Many Dots! (Upon throwing dots at Dyslexia)
: Dyslexia floats ominously above your Guils! Well, ominously and a little confusedly, looks like.
: Clearly the only solution is to pelt her with Dots!
: You Guild needs 144 more Dots to continue!
: >>> Toss Dots!
: STOP DOTS! (After throwing dots)
: "Yes, yes!" yells the Vent man. "The beast is completely distracted! Hurry up and smash the remaining 144 Eggs! You've only got <hour> hour and <minutes> minutes left before the Deep Bearth!"
: >>> She's distracted, time to smash Hwelp Eggs!
: Egg Breaker!
: You happen upon a tantalizingly unsmashed Hwelp Egg. Your Guild has 144 left to smash!
: >>> Smash that Egg!
: Egg on your face
: With the Hwelp Egg thoroughly destroyed, you put a fresh Incubating Porkin Egg in its place!
==Completion==
The completion of Dyslexia's Lair will trigger the following dialogues :
: Deep Bearth in 5...
: With your plan punctually executed to perfection, Dyslexia howls with rage! She summons all of her strength to perform her legendary Deep Bearth!
: The Porkin Eggs are bathed in Flame! Suddenly, the entire Lair is flooded with a quiet hissing sound that builds into a crackling crescendo...
: >>> THE SUSPENSE!
:: Next dialogue screen missing
In addition, all member will recieve the following message:
: Subject: Dyslexia's Lair CONQUERED!
: From: <guild leader name>
: Massage: Your Guild, <guild name>, has successfully conquered Byslexia's Lair! If you contributed to the Raid, report back to the Lair to claim your loot! Also, check the Guild Leaderboards to see how your number of completions and fastest completion stacks up to other Guilds!
To claim their rewards, members need to report to the Lair, where they will get the following message:
: After all the sweet bacon-scented dust has settled, after the yolk is washed out of your haur, and after you try to come to terms with the mass murder of not one but two species, you finally arrive at the point of it all.
: EPIC LEWTZ.
===Raid Rewards & Equipment===
After a guild successfully completes this raid, each participating guild member that returns to any map will have a screen prompted to loot an armor piece. The armor sets are class AND gender specific. These pieces are exchangeable only via the guild vault as they are meant to be traded amongst your teammates and friends, but to keep them from being auctioned to players who don't participate in the raids themselves. Once the five pieces are crafted together, the resulting equippable armor is soulbound. It cannot be mailed, auctioned, placed back into the guild vault or deconstructed into its pieces, so any reward obtained from the raid that is of the opposing gender or for another class should be placed into the guild vault for other members to utilize.
Each crafted armor starts at level 12 and is reported to have two abilities. The armor increases the primary base stat by +10% and deals 90~100 gloomy damage per turn upon battle.
See Raid Equipment.
===Leaderboards===
The successful Guild will also be listed in the Leaderboards, as shown below:
First.png|Completion Leaderboard
Ftwlewt.png|Fastest Completion Leaderboard
==Failing Dyslexia's Lair==
If you fail, all guild members will receive the following impromptu mail:
: Subject: Dyslexia's Lair - FAILED!
: From: <guild leader name>
: Message: Your Guild, <guild name>, was not successful in Dyslexia's Lair, as her vicious Deep Bearth proved too quick for you. The Raid may be restarted immediately, if you dare!
Failing the Raid will trigger the following dialogue:
: Too Many Hwelps, Can't Handle It
: The Vent guy howls with rage. "Who the @x&% was that?! Hwelps! Many Hwelps! HANDLE IT!
: But allas, your Guild could not handle it. You are averrun. The only recourse is to retreat.
: That's a @w5%ing 50 DKP MINUS!
: (Your Guild has Failed Dyslexia's Lair. Your Leader may restart it at any time.)
==Dyslexia's Lair Tips==
Remember that phase 2 has a time limit and begins immediately after completing phase 1. You may want to stay in phase 1 for a while (by not incubating the eggs or killing off the last minion) in order to:
*Let your members' Adventure Points regenerate before phase 2.
*Wait for other members to log in.
*Farm Eggs for the next raid, thus saving time (if you want to do this, do not incubate the eggs as it will lead to being unable to incubate them)
You may also want to wait a little bit before completing phase 2, because:
*If a guild member logs in at the end of the raid, you may want to allow them to combat at least once, so that they can also receive a piece of equipment for participation.
Do not under estimate the importance of sharing the Guild Vault :
*It should be used to place dots/eggs/pieces of loot to facilitate distribution. Guild raid items may also be stocked up for the next raid. 
Combat:
*You may need to purchase a squirrel on a stick from the Hero Store for 10 Hero Points in order to facilitate the battles (the Sar Chasm enemies being susceptible to Squirrel damage and resistant to all other damage types). 
*Make sure all BFFs on your list are active and online in order to have rapid revival in case of BFF death during the fight. (The ideal solution is to have other members of your guild as your BFFs) Dodgebrawlers block damage and Cheermongers heal, which may prove to be extremely useful while combating level 14 monsters.
Coordination and communication are the key to success:
*Lower level guildies can provide eggs and fight enemies in Townshire's Sar Chasm, while the high level guildies can kill the level 14 minions and Hwelps in the Lair.
*Scheduling raids in advance, or always at a fixed time can facilitate coodrination between members. Remember everybody isn't in the same time zone, so use a reference time zone, like PST or UTC.
*You can make use of external guild communication sites and applications like Mibbit client/ventrilo for facilitating guild raid coordination. The Kongregate chat rooms can also prove useful.
==Trivia==
*The entire raid is a WoW reference, specifically an internet meme, showing here: Warning: NSFW. :p http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtvIYRrgZ04
*The vent is most likely a joke about a common third-party voice communications program called Ventrilo.
==Bugs==
Update : All bugs in this section have been fixed with the excepton of multiple mails upon completion indicating failure or success incorrectly 
Some bugs that have been encountered include the "Guild Raid Lockout" when the last few eggs are not smashed and all guild members are prevented from entering the Townshire Learning Center due to an inadvertent accessing of parts of the dungeon that are not fully implemented. Another bug is players not receiving rewards for participating in the raid. Also, double guild mails noting raid completion have been seen.
There are notable typos for withdrawing/entering guild vault items in addition to the infamous h:h typo on the leaderboards and scrolls dropping during the first 2 days of guild raid release.
All bugs listed above have been fixed recently on the March 18, 2011 hotfix update.
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