Transcripts 2004-02

Transcripts from February 2004 strips.
==February 2==
Panel 1Anne is glaring at Kingston, looking cross and pointing backwards with her thumb. Kingston looks up at her from the couch with a smirk.Anne: Kingston! Why is my boyfriend flipping out in the cupboard? I'm trying to work!Kingston: I put him in there and told him the door's locked.Kingston: He's so off his tits that he's forgotten there's no lock on that door!Panel 2Anne looks away, contemplating this with a hand to her mouth. Kingston stares blankly into the camera from the bottom of the panel.Anne: So you're saying that Richard is so stoned that he'll believe anything you tell him?Kingston: To a point. You have to play to his paranoia!Kingston: I just told him that so I could have a damn smoke in peace!Anne: Hmm...Panel 3Kingston is still on the couch, with the hookah mouthpiece in one hand, staring wide-eyed at Richard, who is hiding behind the couch with only the top of his head and psychotic, pink, angry eyes visible.Caption: A LITTLE LATERRichard: Anne told me EVERYTHING! Even about the beans and hamsters you freak!
==February 6==
Panel 1Richard is staring out the window (off-panel, to the left) with bloodshot, unblinking eyes. There is a small end table with a clock? on it in the background and red drapes framing the left wall to suggest the presence of a window.Panel 2Exact cut and paste of panel 1.Panel 3Richard suddenly screams, sweating and pointing out the window. Kingston looks over his shoulder with an unamused expression.Richard: SEE! THERE! IT MOVED!Kingston: Good work! But keep watching that garden gnome! They're tricky!
==February 9==
Panel 1Anne is sitting at her work computer with an annoyed look while Richard squats behind her and grabs her shoulders. In the background are a door and some shelves with binders, a potted plant on the top shelf.Anne: What do you want Richard? Can't you see I'm busy with this accounting report?Panel 2The camera rotates to 3/4 profile with Anne looking aside to see Richard, still stoned and grinning stupidly at her.Panel 3The camera rotates again to a side view of a disappointed Richard and Anne smirking as she continues to work. Her workstation is partly visible, and a notice board is in the background.Anne: Normally I would, but you can barely stand up let alone get it up!
==February 13==
Panel 1Richard kisses the back of Anne's head with a "♥" as she laughs.Anne: I said get off Richard! I have work to do!Panel 2Close-up of Anne's workstation, specifically the Cook brand X74 webcam on top of the tower.Anne (off-panel): We'll have some fun in the bedroom when I've finished okay?Transmission?: Aw!Panel 3Michael frowns at his monitor in disappointment, sitting in an otherwise dark room and lit by the view on the screen.Caption: ELSEWHERE...Anne (transmission): We'll have some fun in the bedroom when I've finished okay?Michael: Aw!
==February 16==
Panel 1Tin-Head looks over Michael's shoulder.Tin-Head: What was the "aw" for Nerd boy?Michael: Nothing. The bugged PC camera threatened to be interesting. False alarm!Panel 2Side view of Michael continuing to whine at the monitor (off-panel). Some towers are in the background.Michael: Damn! Planting that machine was a bust! Not only is it in an office Gates isn't allowed into but it uses a different phone line to the one he uses! So all you get is her working all day. Wee!Panel 3Same as panel 1 but Tin-Head glares directly at Michael.Tin-Head: That's all very true, but as I'm monitoring all of this myself, why are you watching it?Michael: Nothing on TV.
==February 20==
The Church of Poisoned Minds
Panel 1Black-and-white monochromatic strip. Al sits at a desk with papers in hand in news anchor style, with a "Poisoned Minds News" logo in the lower left corner, an inset of a chimpanzee with its hands on its head and grinning.Al: Experts are still confounded by the whirring noise emanating from the grave of one Alfred Nobel, founder of the Nobel Peace Prize.Panel 2Same as panel 1, but Al is quivering and grinning giddily while leaning into the camera, clutching the papers in hand. The inset is now of the chimpanzee covering its face as if in embarrassment.Al: The spinning noise appears to have started the same time President George W. Bush and Prime Minister Tony Blair were nominated for the prize.Pseudo-caption: In other news, I'm wearing no pants!
==February 23==
The Church of Poisoned Minds
Panel 1Black-and-white monochromatic strip, same setup as the prior strip. Al speaks into the camera with a neutral expression, alongside an inset of Spot Fetcher.Al: President Bush's pet dog Spot has died. The springer spaniel was put to sleep after a series of strokes. Thus putting the poor dog out of its misery.Panel 2Same as panel 1, but Al is turned to one side and leaning back in exasperation. The inset is now of Tony Blair making an "OK" gesture.Al: This comes after the president's other pet vowed not to quit as Prime Minister, making the UK populace want him to be put out of their misery.
==February 27==
The Church of Poisoned Minds
Panel 1Black-and-white monochromatic strip, same setup as the prior strips. Al speaks into the camera with a neutral expression, alongside an inset of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Richard is barely visible peeking up from behind the corner of the desk.Al: This week, Arnold Schwarzenegger voiced his opinion against gay marriages. Being an independent news source we can not be biased one way or the other. So it a good job I'm not gay or have a bible stuck up my arse and generally couldn't give a flying fuck.Panel 2Same as panel 1, but Al is leaning into the camera and smirking. The inset is the same as in panel 1 but has been defaced with a drawn-on arrow through Schwarzenegger's forehead, glasses, a Hitler moustache, and a grin with a protruding tooth. Richard is scowling and holding up a sign that reads "S.S.D.D. BACK MONDAY"Al: However I will mention that after the film "Junior" where Arnold gets pregnant and prances around in a dress, no one is going to take him seriously (like anyone did anyway).
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