Shirlena

Shirlena is a recurring antagonist in The Tourettes Guy. She is one of Danny's ex-wives and resultantly the Tourettes Guy's archnemesis. The couple was married for fifteen years before their divorce in 1999. She makes regular visits to his house, usually talking about tragedies in her family or arguing with Danny. Her father passed away around 2001, while her mom was said to be 'on her way' in Best Of The Tourettes Guy (3 of 4) when she was talking with Danny. Since this was over 10 years ago, her mother could possibly have died since then.
== Appearance ==
Like most characters in the Tourettes Guy videos aside from Danny and his equally foul-mouthed father, Shirlena's face is never visible. Glimpses of Shirlena in the video show that she is Caucasian, of average build and height, and has long, dark hair. 
== Personality ==
Shirlena appears to be quite irritable, much like Danny himself. She yells at him and occasionally takes violent measures for his antics. Aside from their rage, Shirlena is often shown as distraught, mainly over medical issues with her family and confides in Danny in such situations. Examples include when she threw a bowl of cereal at Danny after he accused her of sitting at home and, in Danny's perspective, "play with your tits, and look at your ass at the same time!" as well as when he laughed at a story about her Alzheimer's-afflicted grandfather.
== History ==
=== Best Of The Tourettes Guy (1 of 4) ===
==== Fridge ====
The Tourettes Guy comments to himself on his background with his ex-wife, Shirlena. He holds that he wouldn't have sex with her with his "dick or cock", but he nevertheless admires her rear end. Regardless, the final cuts seem to reveal that she has found a new partner whom he finds unfavorable, and therefore the woman in tandem.
=== Best Of The Tourettes Guy (2 of 4) ===
==== Bob Saget ====
While Danny is in the shower, his ex-wife Shirlena shows up for an unexpected--and unpleasant--visit. She finds the door is locked and starts hammering it angrily with her hands. Danny finishes and angrily screams, "Wait a minute you dick!" Shirlena fires back as the Tourettes Guy realizes who he is dealing with, yelling in aggravation. Soon after, Danny is found in his armchair cleaning his glasses when Shirlena asks him what he would like for breakfast, ordering bacon and eggs. She, however, can't hear his request, causing Danny to violently repeat. The two are then seen in an ardent fight, Danny accusing Shirlena of making him live in a "hell hole" and saying she does nothing but stays home and performs lewd acts. As he mocks her behavior, she throws a bowl of cereal at him in fury. Danny is now on the floor picking up the mess when Shirlena threatens to "kick [him] in the balls!" Danny looks up in defeat and confesses his love to his former spouse.
=== Best Of The Tourettes Guy (3 of 4) ===
==== Total ====
On the phone with Shirlena, Danny is in a fiery argument centered on his medical information while Herb Alpert's "Spanish Flea" plays in the background. He demands that his ex-wife refrains from talking about his dick "without [his] permission!!!"
==== Tourettes King ====
Shirlena visits Danny in distress over the declining well-being of her mother. The uninterested Tourettes Guy takes a long sip of beer as she explains how her mother may face indefinite disability, with Danny advising when if they are going to fuck or not.
==== Shit Like A Horse ====
Shirlena returns in seek of guidance from Danny regarding her mother. Danny reassures his former partner that she'll still have many more relatives left "... and all that bullshit".
=== Best Of The Tourettes Guy (4 of 4) ===
==== Bird In The House ====
Danny is seen sitting at his kitchen listening to Shirlena talk about another tragedy in her family, this time concerning her grandfather with Alzheimer's disease. She tells him that in his declining condition, he got lost at a local K-Mart supermarket for over two hours. He apparently was trying to find his way out of the store and began taking his pants off when a store clerk began yelling at him for his indecent exposure. All while Shirlena tells the story, Danny is caught chortling, beer spilling out of his mouth and trying to disguise his laughter as empathetic sadness until his ex-wife calls him out in offense. The Tourettes Guy lets loose, telling Shirlena that her "grandpa's an ass!"
In another interview, Danny is asked about his place of origin. He claims to have moved away from the state of North Dakota on the grounds that his wife was "fucking everybody in Bismarck" and that her spaghetti was subpar. He further reveals that this was why they divorced in 1999. 
==== Like Father Like Son ====
During another one of Danny's shouting matches with Shirlena, Danny's Dad--beer in hand--comments on their squabble, leading to he and his son trading verbal blows. The old man's mounting outrage peaks once Danny insults he and "every 'Mall Santa' that looks like [him]".
=== The Return Of The Tourettes Guy (Part 2) ===
Danny watches television while receiving a shoulder massage from Shirlena, who is on edge regarding her workplace's diminishing staff. Instead of listening to his ex-wife's nervous thoughts, Danny grows frustrated at the Kool-Aid advertisement before him and divulges his anger.
=== The Return Of The Tourettes Guy (Part 4) ===
A montage plays of the Tourettes Guy yelling "Shit!", beginning with his challenges in vacuuming the household, his mistreatment by Shirlena, acknowledging his son's uselessness, trying to drive behind a slow RV, trying to open the locked door to his deck, and trying to set his watch to the correct time.
=== Tourettes Guy Gets The Hiccups ===
Danny is chalking his pool cue and is constantly interrupted by his hiccups. His anger boils to a point such that he walks in on Shirlena in the bathroom to declare his hatred for the condition. He carelessly leaves the door open to a disturbed and angered Shirlena, commanding him to shut it.
Lying down on the couch, Danny discusses his first marriage with a "bitch named Barb" before his fifteen year-long matrimony to Shirlena.
== Relationships ==
=== Danny ===
Shirlena and Danny are ex-spouses. It was likely their relationship ended in a bitter divorce in '99, as Danny and she, while still oddly close, are prone to bickering with one another on a constant basis. Danny claims that she "was fucking everybody in Bismarck!" and that "her spaghetti sucked dick!" Their hatred for one another clouds Danny's judgment, as he still finds attraction toward her.
While they do have moments of divide, their separation thereafter seems to remain somewhat mutual. Shirlena often drops in unannounced and mostly seeks condolences and comfort on Danny's behalf, but often gets the complete opposite. In Best Of The Tourettes Guy (2 of 4), Shirlena is at Danny's house for unknown reasons and upon knocking on the door to the bathroom where Danny is residing, he yells out "WAIT A MINUTE, YOU DICK!" to which Shirlena replies "I don't have a dick, you prick!" Danny, taken aback by his ex-wife's sudden appearance, exclaims "Shirlena?! Ah, SHIT!" In Best Of The Tourettes Guy (4 of 4), she is telling Danny a story about her Alzheimer's-afflicted grandfather, to which he bursts out laughing much to Shirlena's dismay.  
=== Shirlena's Son ===
Shirlena has mentioned having a son. It is unknown whether he is also Danny's child or from a previous/current relationship. Despite it being stated that she is now very close to her son, not much else is known about him.
== Things Shirlena Likes & Dislikes ==
=== Things Shirlena Likes ===
* Committing infidelity, as alleged by Danny, especially within their marital tenure at Bismarck, ND
* Cooking spaghetti (to which Danny critiques, "sucked dick")
* Consolation from Danny
* Reportedly "Playing with [her] tits and looking at [her] ass at the same time"
* Telling the doctor whatever she pleases (much to Danny's dismay, especially when she speaks to the doctor of his dick without his consent)
* Throwing cereal at Danny, should his annoyance push her to such a limit
* Eggnog
=== Things Shirlena Dislikes ===
* Danny not taking her anecdotes seriously, especially those of her familial background
* Chronic argumentative episodes with Danny
== Quotes ==
* "I don't have a dick, you prick!"
* "My poor Grandpa is standing there with his pants around his ankles and one of the workers is yelling at him to get out of K-Mart!”
* "Danny, are you laughing?!"
* "I'll kick you in the balls!"
== Filmography ==
* Best Of The Tourettes Guy (1 of 4) (mentioned)
* Best Of The Tourettes Guy (2 of 4)
* Best Of The Tourettes Guy (3 of 4)
* Best Of The Tourettes Guy (4 of 4)
* The Return Of The Tourettes Guy (Part 2)
* The Return Of The Tourettes Guy (Part 4) (mentioned)
* Tourettes Guy Gets The Hiccups
== Trivia ==
* Shirlena is portrayed by actress Shirlena Six, the sister of series creator and cameraman Jared Six and financier Tony Six.
** Tony Six also plays the role of Danny's Son.
== References ==
# The Tourettes Guy (series)
== External Links ==
# The Tourettes Guy on YouTube
Category:People