The Aired Unaired Pilot

The Aired Unaired Pilot is the pilot episode of the spinoff Late Nights With Sheldon!, releasing April 14 of 2023, being written by Locknloaded23.
== Plot ==
Plankton's pilot episode doesn't go as planned.
== Script ==
(The episode begins with a shot of Plankton's set with Squidward sitting on a chair with drums playing)
Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for… THE PLANKTON SHOW!
Plankton: (off screen) That's not what it's called, you incompetent f[dolphin chirp] narrator!
Narrator: Oh, what? I thought it was-
Plankton: (Jumps onto desk) LATE NIGHTS WITH SHELDON! IT'S CALLED LATE NIGHTS WITH SHELDON!
Narrator: (sigh) Do I have to call it that? That name sucks. Plus, it's not even night time.
(Cuts to show the outside of Plankton's studio, where it is clearly daytime; cut back)
Plankton: I KNOW THAT! But I could only afford a spot on the damn daytime time slot.
Narrator: (Angry sigh) FINE. (Mumbling) ladies and gentlemen welcome late nights with Plankton.
(The audience cheers)
Plankton: Thank you, thank you! And what an honor it is to have my own talk show! And on tonight's show, we have a very special guest interview - so ladies and gentlemen, please welcome… 
(Silence from the crowd)
Plankton: Uh… I said… PLEASE WELCOME…
(Still silence)
Plankton: (Awkward laugh) Uh, excuse me for a moment. (Clears throat) SQUIDWARD! 
Squidward: You don't have to yell. I'm right here.
Plankton: Where the f[dolphin chirp] is our guest?!
Squidward: Guest? We don't have a guest!
Plankton: WHAT?! I TOLD YOU TO GET ME A GUEST!
Squidward: Actually, you told me that you wouldn't HAVE guests this episode.
Plankton: I don't remember ever saying that. You're making that up.
Squidward: Well, believe what you want to believe, but we don't have any guests because you told me NOT to get one.
Plankton: I'd remember if I said something like that. I am SURE of it.
Squidward: BUT YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME IT FACE TO FACE.
Plankton: PROOF. 
Squidward: What?!
Plankton: PROOF. SHOW ME PROOF!
Squidward: I DON'T HAVE ANY PROOF!
Plankton: THEN YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!
(ManRay wearing a headset and carrying a clipboard runs on screen)
ManRay: GUYS! COME ON! IT'S OUR FIRST F[dolphin chirp] SHOW! STOP ARGUING! SERIOUSLY!
Plankton: He started it.
(Squidward just has a shocked and angry look on his face without saying a word)
Plankton: Sorry, folks. That's ManRay. He's our stage operator or something. 
Squidward: So if we don't even have a guest, what the hell are we going to do for our first segment?
Plankton: (Thinks about if for a little bit) Okay.. hear me out… Let's suck eachother's dicks.
(Static fills the screen as we see Squidward on the streets holding a microphone in front of a woman sitting on a bus bench)
Squidward: Welcome to "Squid Pranks" with co-host of Late Night with Sheldon, Squidward Q. Tentacles. Today, we're gonna prank this woman waiting for the bus.
(Squidward walks up to the woman, sits on the bench, and doesn't say a word for an extended period of time, until he faces her)
Squidward: I killed your entire family.
(Static to Squidward at Plankton's desk)
Squidward: Welcome back to our show! Plankton had to step out for the moment.
(Sudden cut to cell phone footage of Plankton snorting crack cocaine in the back room screaming after he snorts it; cut back)
Squidward: So, in lieu of us not having a guest tonight, I'll be doing some political commentary! 
(Squidward quietly pulls out a newspaper and silently begins reading it, with awkward silence as we see audience reactions)
Squidward: Oh, here's a good one! (Clears throat) So, our president banned abortions, huh? How come when he kills little babies it's fine, but when anyone else does it, it's wrong?
(Squidward begins hysterically laughing, but the audience does not laugh alongside him. Squidward realizes this and awkwardly stops laughing)
Squidward: Uh… and that concludes my political commentary. 
(Squidward stands up and walks to his usual seat, with even more awkward silence, which is interrupted when Plankton returns to his desk, with audience applause)
Plankton: Sorry about that, folks! I'm back! Say, didja hear about that new abortion ban?
(Static fills the screen as we Squidward on the street again but with a black eye)
Squidward: Welcome to our second Squid Pranks segment. Uh, last time didn't go so hot, but this time, it'll be different. I hope. 
(Static cuts back to the set, where Squidward has 2 black eyes and Sheldon is holding his head in shame)
Plankton: This was a f[dolphin chirp] disaster.
Squidward: Hey, c'mon, this was only the first episode. Maybe our next one will be better!
Plankton: Squidward, I highly doubt we'll even be GIVEN more episodes after tonight. F[dolphin chirp] seriously.
Squidward: We're definitely not if you keep swearing like that. 
Plankton: Oh, what, I can't say [long dolphin chirp] because the [dolphin chirp]s don't like it? I can say [longer dolphin chirp] all I [dolphin chirp] want. So shove that in your [really really long dolphin chirp].
(Plankton glances at Squidward, who has an annoyed look on his face)
Plankton: (Angry sigh) now we're really not getting any more episodes, are we.
(Static ends the episode)
Category:Locknloaded23
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Category:2023
Category:2023 Episodes
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