Operation Phoenix

Operation Phoenix was an UnAnything military occupation of western regions of UnBarney. The war was a result of the unjust execution of six people for possession of copies of UnAnything: The Series, which caused Vesta to personally order an invasion to depose UnBarney's government.
== Clonflict == 
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At 12:00 AM on March 7th, 2001, UnAnything forces crossed the UnBarney border. Border patrol was light in the region where the crossing was made, and approximately 3,000 troops would reach border towns, securing them with little resistance. At approximately 3:00 PM, the first skirmishes were reported with UnBarney golf carts, which didn't last long against UnAnything's finest troglomancers (chimp-summoners). Guerillas attempted to cooperate with UnBarney troops to encircle UnAnything divisions, but were wiped out with precision strikes from ROFLcopters, not to mention more chimps. By March 10th, the capital of the province and one of UnBarney's larger cities, Hippocampus, was surrounded, and by the 17th, al-Saldan Province had surrendered. 
Using the province as a jumping-off point, UnAnything began incursions into the core province of al-Barney over the next week. This was slightly (very) concerning to UnBarney, who proceeded to regroup all defensive formations to the immediate vicinity of Barneytown, where curfews were enforced. Simultaneously, their supreme leader which I refuse to name because he's so DUM was evacuated to an undisclosed safe location. UnBarney sent ultimatums to UnAnything involving the threat of nuclear annihilation, but someone didn't do their research and didn't count on the entire magic branch of UnAnything's armed forces, not to mention over-the-horizon radar and interceptor missiles. In the meantime, UnBarney resorted to mid-range missile strikes on UnAnything convoys, to varying degrees of effectiveness - convoys without forcefields were left in disarray, a problem further compounded by a tactical tense shift that summoned troops from the past.
By the beginning of April, UnAnything had reached the outskirts of metropolitan Barneytown, facing heavy resistance from armored Ford Explorers, since UnBarney couldn't afford an actual military. However, Dee had just came back from his yearly vacation at the beach and realized they could use tractors designed to minimize noise as much as possible, and quite literally pull a Ukraine on the Ford Explorers by stealing them through ropes & other attachments. UnAnything forces safely moved into a local hotel that had been unoccupied for practically years, much to the chagrin of Strange since this hotel was practically off the grid and therefore could not be located. He then decided to break the Treaty of Shite signed a few years before and launched various nukes at key UnAnything positions. This was cause for alarm for the UnAnything military, since they refused to let UnBarnian things enter UnAnything airspace.
=== Dee's Run=== 
Once Dee had heard about these nukes, being several gigaparsecs away from his coveted cookies and cream flavored ice cream (not to mention le Sock Searcher Blocker) which just so happened to be located in the vicinity of UnBarney's nukes, he quickly excused himself with a "Bathroom Pass" taken from a 3rd-grade class located near Earth in the vicinity of Dee's humble abode. He then proceeded to "run" across several oceans (of course, more like love-tapping the ocean with his toes 375,000 times per second), then proceeded to perform the 108,000 li "cloud somersault" technique which he learned after a weed rotation with Wukong; he proceeded to do this same move multiple times in succession, in the process crash-landing into Mars itself. Realizing his mistake, Dee would drink a dual-strapped 5-Hour Energy laced with Sudafed then proceeded to use this accelerated speed in order to quickly brew multiple potions of Strength, a whole bunch of Juggernog, a whole bunch of Speed Cola (this would be important later), Quick Revive (in case he somehow died in this process), then proceeded to use materials on Mars to build a platform in which he could stand on. Dee then proceeded to drink all the Speed Cola he had made previously, not to mention a few bottles of Juggernog in order to counteract the Speed Cola. He then would start to Backwards Long Jump while drinking the entirety of the Martian Empire's supply of Sprite in order to produce a massive fart, which he then would set on fire through ripping off small pieces of his shirt and rubbing them fast together in order to create a fire. 
This entire process combined took around 5 minutes to complete, due to Dee's incredibly spastic movements; by then the UnBarnian nukes were around halfway to their destination due to key UnAnything positions such as the HQ being drastically far away from UnBarney itself. With this however, Dee was able to launch himself so far out of Mars in a fiery fart-explosion that it left a sizeable crater at the back-face of Mars (with not much mind from the Martians). He then proceeded to crawl into a fetal-like position, and immediately noticed a suspicious object with UnBarnian branding (and not to mention a poorly designed hatch which was brute-forced open), and proceeded to launch himself straight into it. The explosion was indescribably beautiful; but, somehow, this would not be the end of this nuke debacle, because, somehow, Dee had launched himself into a decoy nuclear object also sent by UnBarney. And, while Dee was at first attempting to grasp the fact that he wasn't able to save his cookies & cream ice cream once and for all, he then soon realized after he could utilize Minecraftian triangulation (of course assuming the two known points were UnBarney itself & the decoy nuke), and then proceeded to barrel-roll throughout space, and, in the process, creating a rift sending him into the realm of Minecraft. He then stole the local Steve's stash of Netherite and used his enchanting table to make a set of enchanted Netherite armor, then BLJ'd straight to UnAnything's headquarters, preparing to launch himself straight at the nuke itself.
And, as it came closer and closer, its neighbor nukes also following behind, all he could do was pray, pray his eyesight do not fail him...
And then, it happened.
The explosion was... magnificent, to say the least. Who knew that a mock-up of a Russian nuke would be so dazzling? Dee did. He knew once he flew himself straight into that nuke at supersonic speed. But it wasn't over, since there were still other nukes. Knowing this, Dee would use the explosion to his advantage by drinking a few Strength potions and explosion-jumping his way towards the next nuke, which he presumed was a few miles away over at the UnWorld. He then proceeded to do this for each nuke launched at every headquarters that UnAnything had. 
Meanwhile, "Father Stain" would put on his worst suit and fake Js' in order to "spite the evil capitalists" before driving in his candy truck straight to the UnBarnian TV station, where he would try and do the floss (despite Fortnite being banned over there) to moderate success. What he was not aware of, however, was of Dee's brave sacrifice in order to prevent mutually assured destruction. 
thumb|Strange, in his brief hubris.
==Later in the Operation==
After news of Dee's sacrifice entered UnBarnian walls, Father Sharts was enraged. His nuclear word did not work after all; and, in realizing the inevitable, he scrambled a rag-tag team of console nerds & cadets so as to defend the remaining space of Barneytown that they owned; this worked to some varying degree of effect, since all they were doing was throwing consoles at the UnAnything soldiers, however, their supply eventually ran out and this led to the eventual overrun of Barneytown. With this, Dee would fall straight down and almost impale himself on the UnBarney flagpole topping the UnBarnian Parliament, and, through seeing all the soldiers breaching the building itself, he waited patiently as they slowly worked their way up the roof; and, as they got there, an old grandma handed Dee a carpet mockup of Captain 0's face; and, with this, Dee took down the flag of UnBarney and raised up the Official Carpet of UnAnything.
==Aftermath==
UnAnything would then hold the UnBarnian lands under its control for a few days while Godder Pain and the generals of UnAnything worked out a peace treaty now known as "The Agreement of Shitingass"; the UnBarnian high command were more lenient in restoring UnBarnian control and simply reverting the land back to before the war even happened, while Stange requested a few parcels of land in exchange for a few parcels of land from his end, however, not willing to give up any more land, the UnAnything generals simply decided to give back UnBarney to its government under the pretenses that they stop executing civilians cruelly; they probably didn't heed our advice. Doesn't matter.
As for Dee and his shenanigans with radiation poisoning? Somehow he didn't die. It took him a few weeks in the hospital but he somehow managed to recover quite well, however his right arm was left as a slightly shorter stump which mildly inconveniences him. 
Category:Events