Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip/Transcript

ALVIN: Are we rolling?
Okay, we're rolling. Dave's birthday message, take 1.
Happy Birthday, Dave!
We know how hard you've been working on Ashley's album... so we thought it would be fun to surprise you with a little party.
Hey! I thought you said this was a going-away party for us.
Uh...
Take 2. (CLAPS)
To celebrate your birthday... and The Chipettes leaving to guest-judge American Idol... we thought we'd throw you a small get... (PHONE RINGING) Hold on, that's the DJ!
Wait, "DJ"?
Okay, fine, so it might be a medium-sized get-together.
Alvin, did you hire someone to build a half-pipe in the back yard?
Of course not! The party planner did.
You hired a party planner?
No, he did not hire a "party planner."
Oh, thank goodness. For a minute there, I...
lam an event planner. Marco, I'm done giving you instructions.
Oh, boy.
Dave, it's all good. It's just us. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Nothing too cra...
ALVIN: Theodore! You hit the flip button!
Oops! Um, hi.
So, the guest list got a little out of hand.
SIMON: A little? Dave, I had nothing to do with this!
Happy Birthday, Dave! Whoo-hoo!
Redfoo is here?
Yeah, he is, because I got him here. The Redfoo, from a little band called The Foo Fighters.
What?
Well, there's no way to sugarcoat it, Dave. The cops are here! Ow...
And they're having a blast!
Happy Birthday, Dave! (CROWD CHEERING)
This does wonders for my glutes!
ALVIN: This party is the least we can do for you, Dave.
Yeah! Giving up songwriting to produce? Buying a new house? We know you've done all of this for us.
We love you, Dave!
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (ALL CHEERING)
Happy Birthday, Dwayne.
It's Dave!
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
I got 40 cheese pizzas here for a, uh, Theodore.
Whoo-hoo! Pay the man, Si. Whoo! ALVIN: Redfoo! You ready to rock this party with a little Party Rock? Oh, you like the classics. But I got a new one for you, Juicy Wiggle! This is my jizz-am! (CROWD CHEERING) Ooh, cool! ♪ I walked into the party ♪ I seen somethin' I never saw ♪ Everybody was movin', groovin' ♪ Girls, they were dancin' on the bar ♪ Now this wasn't no ordinary dance ♪ Hey, man, why is everybody swimmin' in a trance? ♪ I couldn't figure it out like your grandpa's riddle ♪ I asked 'em what they doin' and they said... ALL: ♪ Juicy wiggle! ♪ Now move your hips and dance like fish (MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: ♪ Get juicy ♪ Get juicy ♪ Yeah, get juicy ALL: ♪ Get juicy ♪ Get juicy ♪ Get juicy ALVIN:♪ Get juicy! REDFOO: ♪ Two girls was shakin' it ♪ I jumped in the middle ♪ I asked 'em what we doin' and they said... ♪ Juicy Wiggle! ♪ Get juicy Oh, yeah! I'm in. Show 'em what you got, Theo! (EXCLAIMING) THEODORE: (EXCLAIMS) Whoo-hoo! ♪ Get juicy He's so smooth. ♪ Yeah, get juicy Whoo! Yeah! Whoo-whee! ♪ Now I done just lost my mind Is that safe? No, it is absolutely not. DAVID: What the... Um, excuse me, young lady? The launch ramp is closed.
MAN: Hey, Simon's gonna go!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) No, no, no, I'm not going. I was just explaining that this is really... (SCREAMS) High! (CROWD EXCLAIMS) Oh! (GASPS) That was awesome! I'm definitely going again. (CHEERING) (SIGHS) Boys. Whoo! ♪ Get juicy ♪
When I say "Party," you say "Alvin!" Party!
ALL: Alvin!
Party! Alvin!
ALVIN: Party! Alvin!
Um... Surprise?
Whoo-hoo! Uh-oh.
Oh, boy.
Uh, if anyone needs us, we'll just be... (WHISPERS) Across the country.
Over there, come on. Party's over. Oh, thank you. Yeah, that's mine. Oh, you had to grab one last one? Yeah. Okay. Enjoy that, yeah. Were you surprised? No, I wasn't surprised, and you wanna know why? Because #Davesparty was trending on Twitter. Nice! I mean, sorry. I know my work schedule is tough“. But I thought you guys were old enough to take care of yourselves. But I guess you're not mature enough for that. That's insulting. We are very mature. (THEODORE FARTS) (CHUCKLES) Sorry. Pizza toots. Look, I'm trying to start a new chapter in my life. A more stable chapter... where you guys aren't performing in a different city every night. But, we love to perform. You can go back to that, just not now, okay? I want you guys to have a few years of being normal kids. But we're not normal kids, Dave. ALVIN: Yeah... we're multi-platinum singing chipmunks! Oops. Well, right now, you're acting like a bunch of animals... who just threw a giant house party without my permission. Does this mean no miniature golf tomorrow? It should, and normally, it would. But, you're gonna give us one last chance, right? I think he means our 158th last chance? Look, selfishly, I wanna spend as much time with you guys as I can... before I have to go to Ashley's album release in Miami. Whoo-hoo! We're going to Miami! ♪ Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga ♪ I know you can't control yourself any longer ♪ Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger 4' Theodore, get our Speedos! Yeah! No, no Speedos. I'm going to Miami. I only got a plus one, so it wouldn't be fair to pick favorites. Shh... We both know I'm your favorite. (CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) Alvin. Tied for favorite? You don't even have to say with who. Blink once for Theodore, twice for Simon. Got it, no favorites.
SIMON: Wind, 35 degrees, out of the northwest. Okay, tail up. 10, 10 degrees down. Shoulders up, shoulders down. Shoulders to the left, shoulders to the right. Tail in, tail out. Ah. While we're young, Simon. Loosen the grip, loosen the grip. Not too loose, not too loose, Simon. Any day, now. And... my concentration is broken. Now I have to start all over. Oh, great! Let's start this charade again. THEODORE: Oh, come on! This isn't the PGA Tour, Simon. Exactly. But this is what it's all about. Just 4 dudes playing some golf. Actually, that reminds me, uh... I invited a friend to join us. Oh, is this the famous Samantha we've been hearing so much about? It is. SIMON: David! Ooh la la. (KISSING) (CHUCKLES MISCHIEVOUSLY) ♪ Dave and Samantha sittin' in a tree... ♪ Very funny, guys. Anyway, it's starting to feel kind of serious, so... I thought an introduction would be nice. You must really like this girl, Dave. I do, and I hope you guys do, too. Yeah. Any girlfriend of yours is a girlfriend of ours. That sounded way less weird in my head. You think? (PHONE BEEPS) She's here. How do I look? Well, uh... You know? Looks. (CHUCKLES) Alvin! This is no time for honesty. THEODORE: You look great, Dave. That sweater makes you look like a cozy grandpa. Thanks, Theodore. Okay, where was I? Shoulders up, shoulders down. Oh, brother. Hit the ball, already! Okay! SIMON: (GASPS) Look at it soar! Follow me, come on guys! ALVIN: WOW. Awesome! Come on! (THEODORE LAUGHS) ALVIN: Follow the ball! Through the mouth! THEODORE: Open wide! Whoo-hoo! SIMON: Hurry up! (ALVIN SHOUTS) Hurry, Theodore! I'm going as fast as I can! SIMON: Turn, turn! My wind calculations were accurate! Come On, guys! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! It's a hole-in... (SHOUTING) No! (SOBBING) Why? Excuse me, that's my brother's ball. Oh, uh, this ball? No, no, this is my ball. What? I just hit that beautiful shot. Tell you what, let's compromise, and we'll call it... no one's ball. ALVIN: Hey! I'm warning you. You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. Yeah! Aw. I'm terrified. (MOCKINGLY) Ah! What, what? Ouch! Wait! What are you gonna do? We will continue this conversation when I'm back. MAN: Hey, dude, it's your turn. Oh, yeah. Whatever! I don't even need that ball! Si's right, you're not worth it! Yeah! SIMON: Oh, Dave, thank goodness. ALVIN: Hey, Dave. Hey, guys. This is Samantha. Sam, these are my boys. Hi. Hi. That's Theodore. He might be the smallest, but he's got the biggest heart. Hi. Ooh, we've heard a lot about you. Enchanté. (LAUGHS) I can tell that you're trouble. If by "trouble," you mean "irresistible," then guilty as charged. Alvin, of course. And there's Simon. So, you're a doctor? I am. Did Dave mention that? (CHUCKLES) No, you're wearing a stethoscope. Yes, I am. That's embarrassing. SIMON: Would it be okay if I tried it? Yeah, knock yourself out. Oh, thank you. Heart rate is smooth and steady, 400 BPM. So, it's beating? Of course it's beating. It's so nice to finally meet you guys. Oh, and this is my son, Miles. Son? Oh, no. You guys have a lot in common. Miles is also a musician. Yeah, I've heard you're pretty good. Thanks, Mr. Seville. Oh, brother. We thought this was the perfect place for you guys to get to know each other better. DAVID: Yes, so behave, okay? And Theo, get down from there. I'll get him. So, back to our conversation. No hard feelings, huh? Hey, YOU guys having fun? (NERVOUSLY) Yeah, just getting some cotton candy. All right. (SIMON CHATTERING) This is not my idea of fun. Mmm... Yummy. (SLURPS) Theo! SIMON: Alvin, where did Theodore go? ALVIN: I don't know, I haven't seen him since the last hole. What do you think? Uh, 20 bucks seems like a lot of money for a chipmunk. He's a talking chipmunk. Go on, plump and juicy, say something. Um, I also sing. ♪ Ooh... ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah... a' This isn't like Theo, to wander off. I know. MILES: Why don't you check the river? Chip shot! Whoa! Alvin, I found him. Give us back our brother! Yeah! I just paid 20 bucks for him. He's not for sale! I want 40. What? He's a talking chipmunk. I also sing. Theo! You're not helping. ♪ I like big butts and I cannot lie ♪ You other brothers can't deny ♪ When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist ♪ And a round thing in your face ♪ You get sprung, wanna pull up tough ♪ 'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed ♪ Ah. Fine!
ALVIN: I hope you're happy, Theodore. That was all of our allowance. THEODORE: Sorry. I was born to perform. Great news, fellas. You get to hang with Miles all day. And the hits just keep on coming. Oh. Sam got a page from the hospital, so I'm going to take you four to the studio with me. All right, be good. Bye, Mom. Bye, honey. Don't forget your stethoscope. Oh, yeah. SAMANTHA: Oh. You know what? Keep it. SIMON: Thanks. Break a leg. That doesn't really apply to doctors, Dave. Right. Good luck! You kind of hope your heart surgeon doesn't need luck. Uh... Have fun! (CHUCKLES) Nailed it!
Look, paparazzi. I guess they heard we were coming. Hey, guys! Ah, it is good to see you. Can you get one more from this side? Yeah. Guys, they aren't here for you, come on. There she is! Ashley! (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) ♪ Oh my love Let me be your fire ♪ We're a thousand miles up And I'm 'bout to get higher ♪ Feel my heart beating Out my chest ♪ You're the only prayer I need To make me feel blessed ♪ Oh my love Let me be your fire ♪ We're a thousand miles up And I'm 'bout to get higher 4' Hey! What the heck? Oh, nice, Miles. Ugh! Yuck! (PAPARAZZI CLAMORING) Oh, no! Hey! Ow! (EXCLAIMING) Hey, down here! Watch it, hey! That's my tail! ASHLEY: Excuse me. First, can you guys apologize for trampling my friends? Aw, sorry about that, guys. Thank you, Ashley. Sure. MAN: Miss Grey, when are you going back on tour? Miss Grey, over here. Oh, hey, you know what? Let me, let me get this for you. Oh, you know, I think it's "Push." (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah, you know, of course. Whoa. Okay. Looks like Mr. Macho isn't as cool as he thinks he is.
♪ Hey! Hello, you know You're making me love sick
♪ You like my dynamite I'm like tick tick a'
Oh, man. I didn't realize how boring it is to be on this side of the glass.
Yeah, why aren't you guys in there? I thought you were, like, super famous or something?
One day, you're throwing back pink lemonades on Diddy's yacht in Saint-Tropez...
THEODORE: Ooh, jackpot!
...and the next, you're eating stale chips you find in the couch.
(SIGHS) I miss it.
Uh, uh... Theodore, couch chips are for talent only.
Oh.
Really, Barry?
All right, you can keep it. Just don't tell anyone, okay?
Whoo-hoo! Yum.
SAMANTHA'. We did it! We successfully introduced our kids to each other.
And then, you performed open-heart surgery.
Please, after being a single mom and a med student, I could do this in my sleep. And I wore my stethoscope out again, didn't I?
I thought it was cute. And I like people to know I'm dating a doctor.
All right, I guess my life is a little more hectic than I'd like to admit.
I get it.
So, I have to ask. The boys? Are they, like, your adopted kids, or... How does that work?
I don't know, I never really thought about it. What?
They're lucky to have you.
Crazy idea. Have you ever been to Miami?
(AMERICAN IDOL THEME PLAYING)
MAN: This is American Idol!
I'm sorry to have to do this... but you're going to Hollywood!
Ah. I've always wanted to say that! Why did they get to move out and do all this cool stuff?
Uh, well, Alvin... girls are scientifically proven to mature faster than boys.
ALVIN: Ah, whatever.
Hey, guys.
SIMON: Dave! THEODORE: Hi.
Sorry I'm late. I had to pick up a few things on the way home.
ALVIN: No worries.
we've just been ruminating on why we still live at home.
So, what'd you guys think of Samantha?
Oh, she's awesome.
We loved her.
Ooh, leftovers. (GRUNTING) Ooh, I can't wait. Oh, I can taste it. Yes! Yummy. Oh. I can't eat this.
Whoa! That is a serious engagement ring. Wait a second. That means Dave is going to ask Samantha to marry him.
Hold on, we don't know that. They've only been together a few months, so you're probably overreacting.
But what if it's true? Uh-oh. Here he comes.
Act casual.
(CHANTING)
DAVID: Huh. What are you guys doing?
Uh, yoga. Downward munk?
Well, that's great to hear that you guys like Samantha, because she's gonna become a big part of my life. Oh, and good news. My plus one isn't going to waste. She is coming to Miami with me. (CLUCKS)
I'm standing right here. I can hear what he's saying.
I've always wanted a mom.
ALVIN: Guys... ...if Samantha is our mom, that makes Miles...
Our brother.
THEODORE: No!
Deep breaths, Theodore. In and out. It's going to be okay.
What are we gonna do?
ALVIN: Guys, it's time. Operation ring retrieval is a go. No ring, no proposal. No proposal, no Miles. Theo, fall in line, soldier.
Oh, brother.
(CAWING) Alvin, what... Are we doing a charade?
Oh, cool. Two words.
No.
First down? What are you... Two syllables. Sounds like. Is it a movie? First word. A song? Angry.
(GROWLS) Get over here.
Okay- Still no idea what you're saying.
Theodore, you keep an eye on Dave. Simon and I will get the ring.
(MOANS) (GRUNTS) Uh-oh.
(GRUNTS) There you are. Alvin, grab this.
(GRUNTING)
(SNEEZES) Let's do this.
Yes!
The bag's gone. No.
You mean that bag over there?
ALVIN: And I'm back to "Yes."
(ALARM RINGS)
Uh-oh. And right back to "No."
Abort. Abort. Let's go.
Guys... what are you doing in here?
Uh... Well... We... just wanted to spend as much time as possible with you before you left for Miami. Yeah.
All right. I'll make breakfast.
Whoo-hoo! I love breakfast.
Alvin, grab it.
Ooh, ooh, Belgian waffles, pancakes. So excited.
Okay, guys... Miss Price from next door, she's gonna peek in on you... make sure you're all right.
What? She's nuts. We should be the ones checking in on her.
Well, after that big party you guys threw... I don't feel very comfortable with you guys staying here unsupervised. You got it? (BELL RINGS) Oh, that must be Samantha and Miles.
(COUGHING)
Miles?
Yeah, he's going to stay with you guys for a few days.
So, you don't feel comfortable leaving us alone, but you're okay leaving us with that psychopath?
No, he's a great kid. It'll be fun. You know, it'll be, uh, a good bonding experience for you guys.
Uh, I'm pretty sure Miles would interpret "bonding experience" as super-gluing us together.
Hi. Wow. Great place. Oh, thanks. Make yourself at home. Mi casa, su casa. (SPEAKING SPANISH) Thank you, David, that's very generous of you to open your home. Wow. That's really impressive. I actually don't speak Spanish.
SIMON: He said that it's very generous of you to open your home. (CONTINUES IN SPANISH) I also speak Spanish. And you're not fooling anyone with your good boy routine.
I'm fooling everyone. They have no idea that I'm going to make you my personal servant.
(MILES LAUGHS)
All right. I guess this is it. Have a great weekend, guys. And boys... try to show me you can handle some independence, okay? All right, bye, sweetie. Be good. Okay. All right. Here we go. I can feel the bonding happening already.
(LAUGHS) We're gonna be doing tons of bonding. Where's the Super Glue?
(MUSIC PLAYING)
ALVIN: Miles, if we're going to make this work, we need to talk.
Feels like it's working. But, good talk.
You can't shut us out forever. He means emotionally, but... I want to focus on the physically shutting us out of our own home part. I have to pee.
You guys are so naive. Trust me, this thing with Dave and my mom is temporary.
If by temporary you mean, "till death do they part"... then yeah. Totally temporary.
What are you talking about?
He's talking about marriage, Miles. Wedding bells. Dave liked it and he's gonna put a ring on it.
A bag of tissue.
What? Scandalous.
It's gone.
Uh. He must have packed the ring last night before bed.
(GASPS) He's going to propose to Samantha in Miami.
So you think we're all gonna become, like, one big happy family?
No one said happy. No offense to your mom. She actually seems quite wonderful.
Yeah. It's you we're not thrilled about.
Well, the feeling is mutual. And you guys can keep Dave too. My dad died when I was little and I've done just fine without one.
Oh. I'm sorry, Miles.
Don't be. I didn't know him. If Dave and my mom do get married... they'll wanna have their own kids. And you're not even Dave's real sons... you're just a bunch of chipmunks that he calls his kids. Before you guys know it, you'll be back out in the forest. Holding your nuts all winter.
Hey. First of all, that's what squirrels do. We are chipmunks.
Um, Alvin, chipmunks do that too.
And the fact that I didn't know that... is exactly why we cannot end up back in the forest.
But... Dave wouldn't do that to us.
MILES: He already has. Why do you think you guys are here and my mom's in Miami?
Meeting of the Munks. I don't want Miles to be right any more than you do, but it all kind of lines up. New job, new house, new girlfriend, new family.
I don't want to go back to the forest.
And I am definitely not going to end up related to that guy.
(BELCHING)
Hmm. Nice form.
Here's the deal, Miles. We all go to Miami to stop this proposal... and then we never have to see each other again.
I'm in. Can't get you chipmunks out of my life fast enough.
That's the smartest thing you've said since we met you.
THEODORE: Are you sure there's enough money in your piggy bank?
Guys, it's a credit card. We'll get 4 tickets. Stop worrying.
Hello, boys.
ALL: Hey, Miss Price.
I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on you... So I think I'll use... this one.
(LAUGHING)
How are we gonna get to Miami if she's gonna be watching us?
Guys, I have a plan.
(GROANS) The 4 words society fears most.
I can't believe that worked.
It wasn't so much me as it was the peanuts dipped in cough syrup.
(SNORING GENTLY) That's really messed up. Respect.
Thank you!
Alvin, these aren't even chipmunks. They're squirrels.
ALVIN: Beggars can't be choosers. Besides, once we put them in the shirts from the Alvin, Simon and Theodore dolls... Miss Price won't be able to tell the difference.
Yeah, let's do it.
Ooh, oh... I get to change me!
I can't believe I maxed out my mom's entire card in this one ticket. We're fine. Just stick to the plan. I'm starting to think I should go through cargo with Theo. Shh. Be silent. Be still. And you. Get in there. Ow! Easy! Both of you guys. ALVIN: Watch the zipper. Next! Who knows what you're carrying in this thing. (MEOWS) (DOGS BARKING) Go on through. Whoa! What's that? That is a... stuffed Alvin doll. You know, from that lame singing chipmunks group. Um, yeah. I'm gonna need to see what's in that backpack, please. Oh, no. Yeah. (GRUNTS) Um, it's just a doll. Chucky was just a doll. (CLEARS THROAT) This is Alvin. It's what the "A" is for. He does a lot of bending and back up. He does splits. (ALVIN SQUEALS) He can twist. Like Linda Blair almost. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) You can use it as a weight-loss device. (GURGLING) I can feel the sweat. It even talks. It says, "I'm a dumb stupid-head." Sorry, the batteries might be a bit low. Ow! I'm a dumb stupid-head! (LAUGHS) So, he's... Ow! And it bites. I think that was just a design flaw. There's probably a recall. You can put the doll back in the bag. Not the dark place! What I am gonna need... is for you to take a step right over there... because we're gonna need to do a quick body search. Body search? Body search! ALVIN: Good luck, Simon! Yeah. Okay- (GASPS) Oh, no. Where to hide, where to hide? Relax. Put your arms out. They're out. (MOANS SOFTLY) One last spot to get. SIMON: I don't wanna go to jail. I don't wanna go to jail! (GASPS) That's not mine. You just holding it for a friend? SIMON: No, no, not that, not that. (GRUNTS) I don't get paid enough. Get out of here.
ALVIN: Real smooth, Simon.
I'm sorry! I just, I got so nervous.
You are lucky I don't flush the both of you down the toilet!
SIMON: Well, I'm glad we sent Theodore to Baggage. He never would have made it through Security.
Wow! Hi, everyone! Cold in here, isn't it? 
THEODORE: Whoa! (EXCLAIMING) 
(SCREAMS) 
Miles, will you ask a flight attendant for some peanuts? We're hungry. 
Yeah. I too would love a water. But no ice. It's supposed to be filthy. Ooh, which reminds me. (SINGSONG) Germs, germs, go away, don't come back any other day, okay. 
Shut up and stay out of sight. 
SIMON: Hey! 
Easy! 
It smells in here. 
If you're not gonna feed us, I'm going to forage. 
Not a great idea, Alvin. We're not legitimate passengers! 
(SNIFFS) Ugh! Oops! Sorry! 
(GASPS) 
I didn't mean to startle you. 
(CHUCKLES) I'm not startled. It's just you're... You're you. 
(CHUCKLES) I am me. And, you know, if you have a pen... I'm always happy to sign an autograph for a fan. 
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) I'm not a fan. 
Okay- Well, um, I'll be seeing you. Excuse me! Pardon me! Coming through. Now where in this tin can can I get some snacks? On, baby! 
(GRUNTING) Hi! I'm Theodore. Shh.
(MONKEY CHATTERS)
Inside voice. Please stop. You're gonna make the other animals nervous! Uh, okay, I'll let you out. But you have to promise to go back in before we land. 
(CHATTERS)
(GRUNTS)
Got it. There you go! Oh! Thank you, friend.
(SCREECHING) Hey! Please, everyone relax! Um, Mister Monkey? Wha... Wait! Don't do that. No. Bad monkey!
(MOCKING)
I asked you to stop! Hey! Please! I'm begging you, Monkey Man!
(CHOMPING)
(SLURPING)
What? You've never seen a chipmunk in first class before?
Uh, actually, I recently flew next to The Chipettes and they were ladies.
Hey. Don't judge me. I saw Pink Flamingos.
Excuse me. May I see your boarding pass?
Yeah, well, funny thing about that. Ha! Gotta run!
Come here. Get back here!
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
Simon! Run!
Where? We're on a plane.
I don't know! Come on.
Freeze! Air marshal. Don't move.
SIMON: Can we move now? This is a very hard pose to hold.
(MONKEY CHATTERING)
What's that?
ALVIN: Uh-Oh. This can't be good.
What the... What? What? All right! Everybody calm down! It's just a monkey. All right? Birds! Birds!
(WINGS FLAPPING)
Help! Someone save me!
(BARKING)
Nice doggy...
Theo! Over here! Jump!
Birds and dogs! Oh, my God! Okay, now there's a goat.
(BLEATING)
And an otter. And an otter! God!
MAN: Uh, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Listen!
We're going to be making an... emergency landing in Austin, Texas due to a herd of chinchillas in the cockpit.
All right, you heard him! The plane's going down.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Not down like down-down. Safely-safely. We're not crashing!
You people are idiots!
We're all gonna die!
What an idiot!
Oh, great speech, Churchill.
You better watch it! Do you know who you're talking to? I am the police of the sky!
(MACAW SQUAWKS)
Really?
AGENT SUGGS: Okay. Let's make sure we have everything. You released animals from cargo, and then you forced an emergency landing.
We also snuck onto the plane.
Uh-huh. That's right.
Theodore!
That is three major infractions on one flight. Here's a fun fact. That's three more infractions than I've ever had in all my years as an air marshal. 
Congratulations on such a distinguished career, sir.
Did you hear that? Because of that "distinguished career"... I've got a meeting with Homeland Security next week about a promotion.
Another congratulations, sir.
Shut up!
What do you think they're gonna bring up when they interview me, huh? My decade of perfect service... or that one time that three chipmunks turned my flight into Noah's Ark?
Probably the time with the chipmunks.
Yeah.
Um, I meant the other one. Look, sir, what could we possibly have done to make you hate us so much?
(BANGS TABLE)
I'll tell you what you did.
Whoa! Holy Christmas.
(CHIPMUNKS SONG PLAYING)
I got a little early gift for you.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, James. You shouldn't have.
No. Wait a second. I want to lnstagram a video of your reaction. Merry Christmas!
I'm breaking up with you!
What?
Thanks. And The Chipmunks? Grow up, James.
(MUMBLING) Wait.
(CHIPMUNKS LAUGHING)
(SCREAMS)
Awkward.
You provided the soundtrack to my heartbreak. But now it's payback time. I am putting you three on the No-Fly List.
What? No! But we have to get to Miami! You can't do that!
You see, I'm an air marshal. I'm all-powerful... I'm all-seeing... and I'm all-knowing.
Then you obviously know you just made that entire speech... with your tie in a cup of coffee.
Okay.
(GRUNTS)
I'll be back in two minutes.
You also still have a little parrot poop on your shirt.
10 minutes. And one more thing. Don't even think about leaving. I have a very particular set of skills. Skills that I have acquired over a very long...
You just put your hand on an ink pad.
15 minutes.
(GASPS)
(SIGHS)
Whoa. That guy is the mayor of Crazy Town.
We gotta get you out of here, now. Let's go.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, this is gonna be the best...
Come on!
AGENT SUGGS: Really? Nobody runs on Agent James Suggs.
Come on. Come on. Go.
MILES: Here you go. Thanks so much. Well, that's as far as my money takes us.
Which puts us 2 hours and 30 minutes from Miami.
Hey!
ALVIN: Yes! THEODORE: All right! By plane.
Oh. Come on!
Guys, the party is in three days. We need to get to Miami. Fast.
And, as if we're not in enough trouble already, it's Dave.
Oh, man.
Well, we cannot possibly pick up.
We have to pick up, or Dave will know something is wrong.
Dave's gonna know something's wrong when he sees us standing around a bunch of trash cans, in a parking lot in the middle of nowhere!
Hmm. Good point.
Ready to go eat?
Uh...
Yeah. Everything okay? Let me check on something.
Hello?
Hi, it's Dave. Are you busy?
Oh, hi, Dave. No, I'm not busy at all. No, I'm just dining with a friend. What do you need? All right, I'm gonna take a look. I'm right at the window. Oh, no! They've eaten everything! And I mean everything!
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Just like a guinea pig Armageddon!
Well, thanks for checking on them, Miss Price.
(SCREAMS) False alarm. Sounds like they're having a blast.
Oh, good.
You ready?
Yeah.
Um, Alvin, I think maybe we should go somewhere else. 
Whoa, hey. Sorry, fellas. 21 and over. 
But it's dark outside, and we don't have anywhere else to go. 
Well, I wish I could help you out, but I got a bar packed with people... waiting to hear a band whose singer is stuck 50 miles from here with a flat tire. So, unless you guys know anyone who can carry a tune... I'm gonna have to bid you good night. 
How would you feel about some singing chipmunks? Whoa! You guys really know The Chipettes? 
Uh... Really? 
Please welcome, all the way from Los Angeles, California... The Chipmunks. 
Ooh! Warm crowd. So, can you really play? 
Can you really sing? 
(GUITAR PLAYING) 
Whoo! Put your hands together for me. Um! Feels good. Come on, bass. Uh-huh. More guitar. My man on drums. We're taking it to the verse. 
♪ Ain't no place It ain't going on 
♪ It's going around 
♪ Like a Vagabond 
♪ It gets in your bones 
♪ Like you caught the flu 
♪ Nah, there ain't no cure 
♪ You just gotta move when you feel the groove 
♪ Now people on the left 
♪ From the left now 
♪ Shake your south side 
♪ People on the right 
♪ Let me hear you say 
♪ Shake your south side 
♪ Every single girl 
♪ Where my ladies at? 
♪ Shake your south side 
♪ All around the world 
♪ Shake your south side 
♪ Guitar! 
♪ 
MAN: Whoo! 
This is where your guy said he dropped off the little freaks? 
Yeah. That'll be 76 bucks. 
Okay. I'm law enforcement, so... (LAUGHS) 
Great. 76 bucks. 
Uh, let me rephrase that. I'm the police of the sky. 
But we're on the ground and this is a car. So... 76 bucks. 
So, that means nothing to you? 
Nope. 
Okay, I'll be right back. Don't leave. 
The money! 
I'm getting it! 
♪ Every single girl 
♪ Shake your south side 
♪ All around the world 
♪ Shake your south side ♪ 
(CROWD CHEERING) 
Yeah! 
Oh, it's on. 
(GASPS) Alvin, we've got a problem. 
Oh, no. I'll distract him, you guys make a run for it. I'll meet you outside. 
How dare you! 
ALVIN: Over here. 
Gotcha! Ah! 
(CLEARS THROAT) 
Let me explain. I have a reason to believe there's a fugitive chipmunk in your beard. 
You don't think I'd know if there was an animal living in my beard? 
I don't. 
Beard peanuts? 
Gotcha! Uh-oh. Ow! 
Watch where you're throwing people! 
What are you gonna do about it? 
(GRUNTING) 
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 
I am so sorry. 
Yeah, sorry about the fight. 
Ain't no apology necessary. Nothing better for business than a good old-fashioned bar brawl. Good luck, outlaws. Thanks. Hey, hey, hey. Come on, keep it in there! 
Yikes! 
(THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY PLAYING) 
(EXCLAIMING) 
Ha! (LAUGHS) You come on! 
(YELLING) 
I will slice and dice you like spicy sushi roll! 
(CHUCKLES) 
Missed me! Ha! Ha! You want some butter with that? 
(GURGLING) 
Drinks are on you! 
(LAUGHING) 
What? Ow, ow, ow... 
(SCREAMS) 
So long, Suggsy! Get out of the way, hillbillies! I need to get out of this bar ASAP! 
Hey, we gotta get out of here. 
SIMON: But where's Alvin? 
We're gonna leave, man! 
I'm waiting on a guy that owes me 76 bucks. 
Ah! 
MILES: You mean that guy? You know what, we'll double it. 
All right. 
But Alvin's not here yet! 
Forget about him, let's go! 
Wait, wait! 
There he is, there he is! You... Come on, let's go, come on! Come on, Alvin! Hurry, hurry! (ALVIN PANTING) Miles, give me your belt. 
You little hood rats! 
Alvin, run! 
I will hunt you down! THEODORE: Slow down! Move your furry little feet! SIMON: Alvin, let's go! Hurry, Alvin! I will pounce on you! Alvin, jump! Hurry up, Alvin, come on! 
I will... 
(GROANS) 
Whoopsie. ...take a little nap. 
MILES: So, how much is this gonna cost? 
CAB DRIVER: To the nearest bus station, $32. 
MILES: Oh, we're a little short. 
How short? 
About 32 bucks. 
(BRAKES SCREECHING) 
Have a nice night. 
Easy for you to say. You're not the one who has to sleep outside! 
Thanks for nothing! Drive safely! What? I hope he gets home safe. 
THEODORE: Ouch! 
ALVIN: (GROANS) I got a splinter in my tail. Ow! Ow! I can't sleep without my pillow. Ow! I don't suppose they make Tempur-Pedic tree branches, do they? (SIGHS) Seriously, guys? You're the ones who are supposed to be comfortable sleeping in trees, not me. We're not talking to you, okay? Not after you tried to leave me behind! First, awesome, because I don't wanna talk to you either. And second, you guys would've done the same thing to me. ALVIN: No, Miles, we actually would have waited for you. Yeah, we're in this together. You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. I've heard your lame family motto, man. It's a bunch of crap. People look out for themselves. It's biology, it's what animals do. Well, on behalf of animals everywhere... I find your attitude insulting. Call it whatever you want, man. It's true. What, you think my dad was thinking about anyone other than himself... when he left me and my mom? SIMON: But, I... I thought you said your dad was... (SIGHS) Right, um... He might as well have. He left when I was only five. Sorry, Miles. Whatever. I don't care, you know? I've done just fine without him. ALVIN: Miles, listen. If Dave and your mom end up together... he's a good person. He would never bail on you. Then why are you making this trip? Right. Because you think he's gonna ditch you, too. Look, dads are overrated. Eventually, you will get over him leaving. Really? Yeah. ♪ And meet me there ♪ Bundles of flowers ♪ We wait through The hours of cold ♪ Shelter as we go X 
(THEODORE PANTING) Oh. I can't... I'm too tired.
MILES: Dude!
Are you joking? I can still see the tree!
ALVIN: Oh. Huh.
Come on, it's 10 miles to the bus station. Can't you go any faster?
Um, not to split hairs, but given that our legs are 90% shorter than yours...
(GROANS)
...we're technically walking 384% faster than you are.
Nerd alert!
Oh. Um...
Fine. Come on up.
(SIGHS) Really? Changing my mind in three... All right! Yes! Two... one. Come on, come on! Whoo-hoo! Oh, thank you.
Oh, sweet!
Now this is quite an efficient way to travel.
Yeah. I could go for miles on Miles.
Oh, my God, that's so bad.
Then why are you laughing?
Because that was so bad. I think that joke missed by miles. (MILES LAUGHS) (CHIPMUNKS SINGING) ♪ My grandma and your grandma I Sittin' by the fire ♪ My grandma told your grandma ♪ "I'm gonna set your flag on fire" ♪ Talkin' 'bout hey now! ♪ Hey now! ♪ Hey now! 4' Hey now! ♪ lko, lko, un-day ♪ Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-na ♪ Jock-a-mo fee na-na (LAUGHING) ♪ See that man all dressed in green ♪ Hey! ♪ lko, lko, un-day ♪ He is a man He's a lovin' machine ♪ Hey r Jock-a mo fee na-na ♪ Talkin' 'bout hey now! ♪ Hey now! Hey now! ♪ Hey now! ♪ lko, lko, un-day ♪ Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-na ♪ Jock-a-mo fee na-na (GIGGLING) Yeah, this is where I dropped them, all right. Look how obvious these tracks are. (LAUGHS) Amateurs. ♪ lko, lko, un-day ♪ Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-na ♪ Jock-a-mo fee na-na ♪ Talkin' 'bout hey now! ♪ Hey HOW! Hey now! 4' Hey now! ♪ lko, lko, un-day ♪ Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-na ♪ Jock-a-mo fee na-na Only 863 miles to go. Did some chipmunks jump on your bus? Um-hmm. They bought a ticket to New Orleans. You know that's not normal, right? ♪ Jock-a-mo fee na-na ♪ Jock-a-mo fee na-na ♪ Jock-a-mo fee na-na ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
All right! Nice! All right! A tater tot! Looks like our luck is finally turning around.
It's not. Oh, no! Suggs?
Hello, boys.
How did you find us?
(LAUGHS)
I'm an air marshal! Law enforcement's my life. Now, we can either do this the easy way... or the hard way.
My brothers and I would like to discuss our options.
You only got one option. Chipmunk jail. With tiny little bars, and a tiny little barbed wire fence, and a tiny toilet... and a tiny yard where you can lift your tiny little weights!
It sounds adorable.
Hey!
Guys, slingshot. On three. One, two, three! Now, I don't have all night. ALVIN: Oh, nuts. We chose the hard way. (SCREAMING SOFTLY) Hope you're okay. ALVIN: He's coming! MILES: Watch out, gangway! Hurry, Theodore, run! Let's go! Come on, hurry up! Excuse us! Come on, Alvin! He's coming! Go, Miles, go! Excuse me, I'm sorry. In here! Come on! Whoo, I think we lost him. Hey! SIMON: Disregard. Come back here! (WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING PLAYING) Excuse me, pardon me. There's a crazy guy chasing us! (GROANS)
You look tired, baby. Here you go.
Oh, thank you so much.
Nice one, Suggsy!
That tastes like fire!
It's moonshine.
Fire, please put it out!
Wash it down with this, here.
AGENT SUGGS: Um, ooh... That's butterscotch.
Butterscotch liquor.
Ooh!
And moonshine!
Hi, Suggs!
Yes!
(GROANS)
(LAUGHS)
Thank you, Mr. Trombone.
This calls for a celebration! Hello, New Orleans! Direct from our Austin to Miami Comeback Tour, we're The Chipmunks!
(CROWD CHEERING)
ls everybody ready to get their funk on?
♪ This hit That ice cold ♪ Michelle Pfeiffer That white gold ♪ This one for them good girls ♪ Them good girls Straight masterpiece Stylin', wilin' ♪ Livin' it up in the city ♪ Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent ♪ Gotta kiss myself, I'm so pretty ♪ I'm too hot ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ Call the police and the fireman Okay. ♪ I'm too hot ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ And my band 'bout that money Break it down ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ Whoo ♪ 'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to ya ♪ 'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to ya ♪ Saturday night and we in the spot ♪ Don't believe me just watch ♪ Come on ♪ Don't believe me just watch Don't believe me just watch ♪ Hey! A' Hey! ♪ Hey, oh! ♪ Stop Wait a minute ♪ Fill my cup Put some water in it ♪ Take a sip, sign a check Julio, Get the stretch! ♪ Ride to Harlem, Hollywood, Jackson, Mississippi ♪ If we show up We gon' show out ♪ Smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy ♪ I'm too hot! 4' Oh, yeah! What's happening? What's happening? ♪ Say my name you know who I am ♪ I'm too hot 4' Oh, yeah! ♪ And my band 'bout that money Break it down ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ Whoo ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ Whoo ♪ 'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to ya ♪ 'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to ya ♪ Saturday night and we in the spot ♪ Don't believe me just watch Come on ♪ Yeah, come on! ♪ Don't believe me just watch 5 Hey, hey, hey, Oh! ♪ Uptown Funk it up, Uptown Funk it up (WHOOPING) ♪ I said Uptown Funk it up, Uptown Funk it up 4'
This whole day has been incredible. It's been the perfect day. NEWS READER'. Coming up, The Chipmunks are back. What? You heard me. Alvin, Simon and Theodore... Excuse me, could you turn that up, please? Yeah, sure. ...are making some noise in the Big Easy... When I say "Party," you say "Alvin!" Party! Alvin! Oh, no. Party! Alvin! Party! DAVID: Alvin! (ECHOING) Alvin! Did you guys hear that? Hear what? Huh. Never mind.
Guys, last night was one of the best nights of my life. It was pretty crazy. Even that Suggs guy hung out with us. Yeah, he's not that bad after all. Hey, we missed a call from Dave. And a text. 27 of them. Uh-oh. Oh, no.
(SNORING) Where am I? What is this? (SCREAMS) Suggs! Who are you? It's Vitto, the band's manager, remember? The only thing I remember is being attacked by a trombone. Oh, right, yeah. You got that crazy bump on your head. You didn't care, though. You just wanted to party! We hit every jazz club in the Quarter. What do you mean, "We"? You, me, and those dope chipmunk dudes! I partied with those tree-skunks? They're the ones who dared you to get that sassy tattoo! What? What? (GASPS) How could I have let them talk me into this? Oh, no. You asked for that one. The other one was their idea. What "other one"? What? (SHRIEKS SOFTLY)
This is where they told us to meet them, right?
Well, yelled at us to meet them.
Hopefully they had time to cool off on the plane.
There you are. Dave! Dave! Mom! Don't "Dave, Mom" us. You know what, Dave? You're an artist, and you're emotional... and you follow your heart, but maybe I should take the lead on this one. You know, we keep a level head. Throw them a little Good Cop. Okay- Okay- Don't you "Dave, Mom" us. Do you have any idea how terrifying it is... to find out that your children are 2,000 miles away from where they're supposed to be? You are lucky that there are witnesses, because I am so mad right now... that I could just spit! Okay, okay. Right here, on this floor! Okay, okay. Nice Good Cop. Dave, I swear, it wasn't as crazy as it looked on TV.
Oh, really? Well, let me just pull up some of Theodore's tweets from last night. "Only one word to describe this night, "Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy." Or, "if you wanna get crazy, "go to New Orleans. It's the craziest." Or, "In a New Orleans Jazz Parade, "so crazy."
We're really sorry, Dave.
Sorry's not gonna cut it this time, guys. If it were up to me, we'd be going home, but I gotta get back to Miami. Do not smile. You guys are grounded in Miami and also when we get back to LA.
(SCOFFS) When are we not grounded?
You'll be so old, your fur will be gray.
Yeah, that goes for your fur too, Miles.
I don't have fur.
Well, whatever you have is grounded... for a long time. Let's go.
Huh. They didn't kill us after all.
Feels like a win.
Hey, guys, Operation "No Proposal" is still on.
Yeah! All right! High... Oh, fist. Give me some. Ow! Oh, sorry. Take it easy!
Guys, come on.
ALVIN: Jeez.
Yeah. Here you go. Thank you. You're welcome. And may I see your ID, please? Yes. Thank you.
Hey, um... Are you sure about this? Because if this three-ring circus is too scary for you, I totally get it... and we could just go back to LA. I mean, you wouldn't be the first guy to head for the hills once we showed our crazy cards.
Please, your circus only has one ring.
(MOCKING)
Stop looking at me.
DAVID: Mine's the three-ringer. You're the one who should think about heading for the hills.
I'm not going anywhere. Except to get us a coffee. (CHUCKLES) I'll meet you at the gate. Sir? Is there a problem? Problem? What problem? There sure is. Oh, man. Oh, right. Whoopsies. That. Guys. Oh, nuts.
Seriously, guys, the No-Fly List? Come on!
At least we're not on the No-Drive List.
There's no such thing as a No-Drive List, Theodore.
I'm sure you guys will find a way to start one.
Let's not overreact, Dave. The only reason we left home in the first place...
Guys, not now, okay? I worked my butt off on Ashley's album, and because of you three... I might not even get to the record release! Not to mention, you've ruined this trip for me and Samantha.
It's just, when you took Samantha to Miami...
Theodore, I'm not in the mood to hear it.
But Dave, we don't...
Alvin, don't. You'll just make it worse.
Thank you for nothing.
Agent Suggs, Air Marshal.
I'll be with you in a moment, sir.
Okay, you're gonna regret that.
Did you help three chipmunks get their rental car today?
Yeah, they came in.
With some guy, probably their dad.
Probably not their dad, because he's a human... and they're chipmunks!
Hey! Families come in all shapes and sizes, sir. It's not for me to judge. We don't do that here, at Miss Bee's.
Okay, this is how it's gonna go down... I need you to go back there, and get me the GPS information for that rental car.
We don't track our rental cars, sir.
Oh! Is that so? I work for the United States government... and we pretty much track everything. I know what you had for lunch today. Falafel! Now scurry back there, and get me the frequency and uplink code from that rental car. Hey! And I need the fastest set of wheels you've got!
(HONKS)
Are you kidding me right now? Do you know what this is? This is a roller skate with wheels.
Pretty sure roller skates come with wheels.
Ah!
(YELLS)
It's like Tweety Bird!
Buckle up!
AGENT SUGGS: Shut up! This is like driving a parakeet!
Those rodents got a 200-mile head start. Time to roll up some road, Suggs. (EVIL LAUGHTER) 
♪ So say Geronimo! ♪ Say Geronimo! ♪ Say Geronimo! ♪ Say Geronimo! ♪ Say Geronimo! I
(SUGGS LAUGHING) Come on! Fly, Bee! Fly! ALVIN: Are we there yet? DAVID: No. Are we there yet? No.
ALVIN: All right!
THEODORE: Awesome!
Remember, guys, we're here to make a quick pit stop... then we're getting back on the road.
SIMON: Don't worry, Dave, it'll be really quick.
THEODORE: Yeah, super quick.
Umm-hmm. (SLURPING) Thanks, Dave. I just needed a little snack to get me from lunch to dinner.
Oh, that's unusual.
SIMON: Don't be mad, Dave. It would have been rude to not order something.
Hey, guys! Look what I won! Isn't he cute?
(DAVE LAUGHS)
Look at that face!
That's actually funny, Alvin. I Say Geronimo! I Say Geronimo! I Whoa! All right!
ALVIN: Now we're talking.
THEODORE: WOW.
Holy guacamole!
I could live here.
Hey, no smiling. You're still grounded, remember? Thanks. Thank you. This is what I'm talking about.
THEODORE: Hi.
Wow! Hola! Oh, baby. If this is grounded... ground me for life.
Don't tempt me.
ALVIN: Hey, Dave! We'd like to do the mature thing... and accept partial responsibility for all the trouble we've caused.
Partial?
Yeah. 60-40, on us. 70-30?
As much as I hate the idea of letting you three out of my sight for even a second... Samantha and I have dinner plans that I can't get out of. So if anything happens, we'll be at the villa.
Ooh, romantic.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) What? Hi. Hi. All right, you are not to leave this room. Do you understand, young man? Yeah.
ALVIN: You guys don't have to worry about us. We'll be on our best behavior tonight. I promise. Whoa.
I know you will, because I hired a babysitter to keep an eye on you.
What? Come on. Oh, man. We'll be home after the party.
(CHIPMUNKS GROANING)
Almost forgot this.
(GASPS)
(SPEAKING SPANISH) Dave is going to propose tonight. What gave that away? The romantic dinner or the engagement ring? Alvin, what are we going to do? Absolutely nothing. What?
Alvin's right. This hasn't been so bad. Maybe we just... do nothing.
"Nothing"? Guys, "nothing" isn't a plan! We can't do "nothing."
Sure we can. Good luck proposing without this.
(GASPS) Alvin! When did you grab it?
I found it in his bag, five minutes ago.
Does that mean we did it? We did it. Huzzah! (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ Turn down for what? SIMON: Whoo-hoo! We did it! We did it! Whoo-hoo! ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ Come on, Miles, join the... party? Miles?
SIMON: Miles, wait up!
Come on, man. Let's celebrate! We did it!
Yeah. You guys ruined Dave's proposal and now we don't have to hang out.
Miles, hold on. That doesn't mean we can't be friends.
SIMON: Yeah, man. I thought we had a great time in New Orleans.
So did I. And then I saw you celebrating like you won the Super Bowl... the second you found out we weren't gonna be family. So... see you.
Miles, wait! I can explain! Guys, come on. Miles... We've been through a lot together. Don't walk away now.
Yeah. Come on, Miles.
(TIRES SCREECHING) Uh, Miles? Miles? Miles! Watch out! Alvin, he can't hear us! I'll knock him out of the way! Slingshot on three! Let's do this. One... two... three!
(SCREAMING) Whoa!
(GASPS)
(GROANS)
Theo. Theodore! Theo. Theodore. Is he okay? I don't know. Theo! Come on! Get up! Please! (WHEEZING) (GASPS) No! Theodore! Come on! Say something, say something!
(GASPS) I smell... empanadas?
Theo! Oh! Theo, you're alive! Is this Heaven?
No, it's South Beach. (GIGGLES)
Theodore, you saved my life.
Like we always say, you mess with one of us...
Don't make me say it, man, it's so lame.
Miles, he got hit by a car for you.
You mess with all of us. All right! Whoo-hoo! Oh, ouch!
Miles, we are so sorry. We haven't been fair to you from day one. And the truth is... you'd make a great brother.
SIMON AND THEODORE: Yeah! I feel the same about you guys. So, I guess we're going to be family after all.
Except for one tiny detail... By stealing the ring, we've effectively ruined the proposal.
ALVIN: You're right. We need to get that ring, and get to that restaurant!
Let's do it. Come on.
(AGENT SUGGS LAUGHS) Looks like Air Marshal Suggs is gonna be checking into the Shelborne Hotel. Yes! Time for a chip hunt!
BABYSITTER: I really wanna go with you... but I'm stuck babysitting. Aw, man. The babysitter. I hope when they get here, they're not annoying. Let's go. Like, this last time... I had a kid, and he was, like... "Oh, my gosh, can I have yogurt?" And I was like... "Oh, my gosh, can you go to sleep?" I don't think she knows we're here. I was like, "Ridiculous." I don't think she knows she's here. This really sucks, when you're so responsible, and, like, everyone around you is so not. You know what I mean? It's like, it's hard. Oh, there you are. Well, okay, I'm totally texting you right now. Hold on, let me send you this picture. He's, like, super cute. I really like him. Come on! Let's go. Aw, I know. What are you talking about? I like that he's hairy. Oh? Hairy, you say? Yeah, scruffy's, like, cute. It's like, "Hi, lam adorable, but I'm also an animal." You know? Yeah, I know. Oh, yeah, right. Miles! We're on our way. Yeah, I know he's a little short, but I don't know, you know that famous saying... Theo! Come on! Let's go! "Little things come in big packages," or whatever. Oh, man. It's like that. THEODORE: I think she liked me. (GRUNTS) I, like, could be doing so many more important things right now. I could be, I don't know, getting a pedicure? I'm looking for some chipmunks.
Guys, their reservation was at 8:00. So, we still might have time to save the proposal.
Come on, let's go. Go! 
GENT SUGGS: Listen to me, I know these chipmunks are here. This is a badge for the United States government, okay? ALVIN: Okay, guys, here's the plan... So, I need for you...
SIMON: Oh, no. It's Suggs! He found us. Theodore, get up!
Uh-oh! Miles, you gotta get the ring to Dave!
I'm not leaving you guys.
We'll distract him. Just go! Run, run! Theo! Hurry! Get back here!
THEODORE: I'm going as fast as I can!
SIMON: Think of donuts, think of donuts!
THEODORE: Donuts? Whoo-hoo!
Go, Miles, go! Hurry! Run, run!
Hide over here!
Where?
I don't know! Just think of something!
Come on. Where are you? Where are you? Come on. Come on. Come on.
Hi...ya.
(GROWLS)
See ya! Go, go, go! Run, run! Hurry, hurry! He's coming! Hurry, Alvin. Hit the button! Come on, Alvin! Hurry, hurry! (SIGHS) Whew!
Ha! Here's Suggsy! (LAUGHS)
He's like the Terminator! Yeah!
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Oh, no.
This is ironic. We're gonna be going up... but I'm taking you boys down.
(SNICKERS)
Now, here's what's gonna happen... I'm gonna turn you over to Homeland Security... and they're gonna put you in a zoo prison for dangerous animals.
(GASPS) Oh, no.
And then, if you ever get out of there... I'm gonna pay someone to have you stuffed.
Right.
And I'm gonna give you as a gift to Anna, who will hopefully take me back.
Dude, I'm sorry, but it's over.
You don't know that.
Theo, let's go.
I just think there's something wrong with her phone and she's not getting my texts... or the flowers, or my candy grams. And I, personally, don't think it's uncommon... for someone to move five times a year and change their number. Okay? It's normal.
Oh, yeah. Totally normal. Alvin! What? What's going on? And that's our cue to leave.
(GROANS) (ALARM RINGING)
It has been a treat. No... What are you doing? Elevator power off.
(YELLS) No! No!
(GASPS)
ALVIN: Excuse me!
THEODORE: Pardon me!
Miles!
Hey. What happened to Officer Dingleberry?
Let's just say his elevator got stuck.
Has Dave proposed yet?
No, but they're on dessert. It can't be long.
Excuse me. I'll be right back. Oh, okay.
You remember what to do?
Yes, sir. Be no problem.
There's the box.
It's go time.
Excuse me... young man, we have a strict no pets policy at this restaurant. I'm going to have to ask you to take your meerkats home.
Meerkats!
Esteban. Please escort these things out of the restaurant.
All right, all right. Come on, guys. We know when we're not wanted. Evasive maneuvers! Nutmeg! He shoots, he scores!
Nice, Alvin!
MILES: Go, Alvin, go!
Did you hear that? It sounded like somebody yelled "Alvin."
Alley-OOP! Whoo-hoo! Pardon me!
I think you're imagining it.
Alvin!
ALVIN: I'm open!
Or not.
MAN: Oh!
Gotcha! Whoo-hoo! Cold!
(SHOUTS)
Whoa!
Alvin?
Oh. Hi there, Dave. Don't say it. Resist the urge. We all know you wanna say it, but hear me out.
Miles? What?
We can explain everything.
Well, I can't wait to hear this.
Dave, we came to Miami to stop you two from getting engaged. Oh, no. I just blew the surprise. But, and this is the part that I'd like you to focus on... when Theodore got hit by a car...
Theodore got hit by a car?
I did.
He's fine.
He was saving Miles' life.
Wait, he what?
The point is, we realized that... we like the idea of you two being together, and we changed our minds. Yep. ALVIN: It might not be the family in the photo that comes with the frame... but it's gonna be our family. And we're proud of it.
Guys, that ring isn't mine.
So, you're not proposing?
I'm sorry, Samantha. I'm not.
Oh, thank God. I mean, that's not what I meant. You know. I mean, not that I couldn't see it happening someday. I mean, uh... Not that I'm expecting it to happen. But I mean, if it did happen... I'm spiraling, aren't I? A little. What I mean is... I would love it if we could just take our time because... I really want it to work.
Me, too.
ALVIN: I'm very confused right now. You brought this ring to Miami and you said you had to come to dinner, so...
I was holding it for Barry. My sound engineer. He's proposing to his girlfriend, Alice, at the restaurant right now... with an empty ring box.
Oh, my God.
Will you marry me?
It's not empty.
A breath mint?
(SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)
Miss Grey, over here. When are you going back on tour?
MAN: The greenroom is right this way, Mr. Seville.
The only reason we're not headed back to LA right now is because... I have to be here. As soon as the show is over, we're all going home. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in you guys than I am right now.
If Dave didn't wanna get rid of us before, he definitely does now.
All because we only cared about if we were happy. Maybe it's a chipmunk thing, like hoarding, you know? Maybe we're emotional hoarders?
Actually, chipmunks are traditionally very caring creatures.
Oh, nuts. Well, that means it's us.
I'd do anything to fix this.
Wait. Maybe we can fix it. By doing the one thing we do best!
Cause mischief on land, sea and air?
Eat all of Dave's food?
No! Music! When words aren't enough, we sing! So let's give Dave one last song to show him how we really feel about him. Miles, start working on that little country riff you were doing in Texas.
Where are you going? There's so much to do. I need to talk to Wardrobe, we need to...
If we are gonna bring down the house, we're gonna need some backup.
♪ Once upon a time I was fallin' in love
Oh, boy.
♪ Now it's only fallin' apart
Oh, okay.
♪ Nothin' I can say 
♪ A total eclipse of the heart ♪
Ooh!
(SCREAMS)
Um, well...
You're going to Hollywood! 
(SHRIEKS) 
Alvin! 
I'm going to Hollywood! I'm going to Hollywood! 
Sorry, girls, I've always wanted to say that. 
What are you doing here? 
Yeah. We're kind of in the middle of auditions. 
I need your help. We really screwed up with Dave and we gotta fix it. 
Because it's for Dave, we're in. 
ANNOUNCER: Please give a warm welcome... for Miss Ashley Grey!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Thank you, guys- Now, I have a very special surprise for you... which was a surprise to me as well until just now. Everybody, welcome The Chipmunks!
(CHEERING)
Thanks, Ashley. Thanks. Thank you.
ALVIN: Um... Before we perform, my brothers and I have a few things to set straight. Earlier this evening... we accidentally ruined a very special evening... for a very special woman and we'd like to make it up to her.
Yeah.
Alice? Barry has something he'd like to ask you. Again.
Will you marry me this time?
Yes. ALL: Aw. Yes.
(APPLAUDING)
Thanks, Chipmunks. And we just had one more quick thing to say. Dave... We're really sorry. We're sorry.
So we wrote this last song for you.
(GUITAR PLAYING)
♪ Oh you shine bright
♪ Brighter than all the stars
♪ Brighter than fireworks
♪ So I give you all my love
♪ And you're perfection even in your mistakes
♪ Give affection even when your heart aches
♪ When I'm away, you're who I'm thinking of
♪ Because
♪ You are my home, home, home
♪ Wherever I may roam
Whoo! Wow!
♪ You are the place where I can rest my weary bones
♪ You are my home, home, home
♪ You are my home, home, home
(AUDIENCE CHEERING) (LAUGHS)
Please welcome The Chipettes!
♪ You're a diamond brightening my cloudy skies Wow.
♪ Sparkling all through the night
♪ Light me up like fireflies
♪ See you shinin' even in the darkness
♪ Stand beside me when I don't deserve it ♪ That's why I say ♪ I give you all my love
♪ Because
♪ You are my home, home, home
Whoo!
♪ Wherever I may roam
♪ You are the place where I can rest my weary bones
♪ You are my home, home, home
♪ You're my number one there's no doubt
♪ And we stick together throughout
♪ Like Boy Scouts, we about All for one till lights out
♪ So, Dave, where u at? Wave your hands front to back
♪ Everybody take a look around At my dad out in the crowd!
ALVIN: I love you, Dave!
(VOCALIZING)
♪ You are my home, home, home ♪
(CHEERING LOUDLY)
Thank you. Nailed it.
Thank you!
Thank you, my people-
(ALL PANTING)
We still got it.
Yeah! Whoo!
Girls, thank you. We owe you one.
You owe us way more than one, but, you're welcome.
Guys, we have to get back to auditions. Ryan's been texting me like crazy.
Come on, girls. Let's roll.
Bye, Theodore-able. (GIGGLES)
Miles, that was amazing! Dave, we're so sorry we came to Miami without telling you.
We just didn't wanna lose you.
Lose me? Why would you guys ever think you were gonna lose me?
Because you said you're starting a new chapter in your life.
We thought you might bail on us.
Technically, we're not even a family. We're just three chipmunks who live with you.
Is that what you guys think? I mean, I know I haven't really been around much lately, and... things are changing for us, but I'd never bail on you guys. Because we are a family. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not. And I was probably a little over-the-top on the whole "no music" thing, okay? You guys can perform.
All right!
But locally. Okay?
Sure!
And I promise to be a better dad from here on out.
What are you talking about, Dave? You're the best dad we could ever have.
What do you say to a little family dinner when we get home? You know, so we know where our kids are the entire time we're together?
That sounds perfect.
Whoo-hoo! We rocked it! Simon, did you see me? I was on fire! Oh.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun getting in trouble with you guys.
The trip might be over, but as long as Alvin is around, we'll always get into trouble.
Thanks Si.
Not a compliment.
Oh, my God, you guys were awesome. Hey, Miles, right? WOW, you played great!
Thanks! Your cool song... I mean... I love when... Music with your mouth...
Oh, brother.
Uh... You're great. Thank you.
Phew! She bought it.
Anyways, I have this party I'm supposed to go to in L.A. Saturday night... if, um, maybe you'd wanna...
Definitely, yeah. I'd, definitely would like to... Yes. Definitely.
Oh. Okay. Well then I'll definitely, definitely see you there. Okay. Bye. Bye.
ALVIN: (CHUCKLES) Smooth, Miles. Real smooth.
Bye. All right! Hey, ready? Yeah. Bye, guys.
Come on, guys. Let's go home.
Should we remind him we're on the No-Fly List?
Definitely not.
THEODORE: Um, this doesn't look like home.
It's not. We have one more important thing to do before we go home.
Oh, Dave, we've been driving for three days! Can't it wait?
Unfortunately not, boys. The courthouse is closed tomorrow.
I'm sorry, the what house? Are we going to jail?
We didn't mean to cause an emergency landing, Dave!
It was freezing in cargo!
Does this look like a face that will survive prison?
Come on.
Dave Seville?
Yep, that's me.
By signing this... you not only agree to take care of, but to provide for the health, welfare and educational needs... of Alvin, Simon and Theodore.
I do.
Alvin, Simon and Theodore, do you agree to this adoption?
Adoption?
(GASPS) That's why we're here?
You're adopting us?
You guys were right. Even though you consider me to be your dad, and... I love you like my own sons, it's never been official. So I figured... let's make it official.
Chipmunks?
Yes?
I still need you to say something like "I agree." Just to make it legal.
Oh, yeah! I agree!
Yeah. Me, too!
1,000%! And that's not even a real number.
(LAUGHS)
Does this mean we're Sevilles?
On this day... David Seville has officially adopted Alvin, Simon and Theodore to be his children. You three now have all the legal rights of any natural child. Or, chipmunk. I hereby sign this order confirming this adoption. Congratulations.
Thank you.
Whoo-hoo! Yay! This is amazing! Yes!
Guys, guys... Just...
Up high, Judge.
Give me some. Whoo-hoo! I'm so happy! Awesome! Dave! Whoa! Sweet! Yes!
We're a family!
We have a dad. Legally. Okay. Okay, all right.
Alvin, okay. What an amazing day!
(ALL LAUGHING)
They're excited.
Yes!
Hey, official and legal Dad?
Yes, official and legal son?
Thanks for being the best official and legal dad, Dad.
Well, you three are the best official and legal sons an official and legal father could ask for.
Aw. That's sweet of you to say, Dad. Yeah.
But seriously, guys, this is the happiest day of my life. Literally nothing could ruin it for me.
(SQUIRRELS SQUEAKING)
Oh, boy.
(GASPS) Alvin.
Alvin: Totally forgot about this.
ALVIN!
CHIPMUNKS: ♪ This hit That ice cold ♪ Michelle Pfeiffer That white gold ♪ This one for them good girls (AGENT SUGGS GROANS) ♪ Them good girls Straight masterpiece I Stylin', wilin' ♪ Livin' it up in the city ♪ Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent
Which way is the pool?
♪ Gotta kiss myself, I'm so pretty ♪ I'm too hot 4' Oh, yeah!
Thank you.
♪ I'm too hot ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ Make a dragon wanna retire, man ♪ I'm too hot ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ Say my name you know who I am ♪ I'm too hot 4' Oh, yeah!
Got some bad news, muchacho. The chairs are for hotel guests only. Beat it.
Okay. I got some bad news for you, too, muchacho. I'm not moving. I was just stuck in your elevator of death for hours and I'm probably out of a job... so I'm gonna sit in this chair by this pool, and I'm gonna relax. And if you got a problem with it, you can carry me out. (LAUGHS) You can carry me out! Carry me out! Go for it!
Yes, sir. Go for it! ♪ Oh ♪ Don't believe me just watch
That's him. That's the guy.
Oh, come on! Come on. What are you gonna do, carry me out? Really? Okay, you are gonna carry me out. Okay! Okay, this is fine! I've been looking to relax all day! I'm like Cleopatra! Floating away! I'm gonna chillax!
♪ Hey, hey, hey, Oh! ♪ Stop Wait a minute ♪ Fill my cup Put some water in it ♪ Take a sip, sign a check Julio, Get the stretch! ♪ Ride to Harlem, Hollywood, Jackson, Mississippi ♪ If we show up We gon' show out ♪ Smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy ♪ I'm too hot! ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ Call the police and the fireman ♪ I'm too hot 4' Oh, yeah! ♪ Make a dragon wanna retire, man ♪ I'm too hot! ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ Say my name you know who I am ♪ I'm too hot ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ And my band 'bout that money Break it down ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ Whoo ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ Whoo ♪ 'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to ya ♪ Saturday night and we in the spot ♪ Don't believe me just watch Come on ♪ Whoo! ♪ Uh, don't believe me just watch ♪ Yeah, come on! ♪ Don't believe me just watch 5 Hey, hey, hey, Oh! (CHORUS SCATTING) ♪ Before we leave ♪ Let me tell y'all a little something ♪ Uptown Funk it up ♪ I said Uptown Funk it up ♪ Uptown Funk it up ♪ Come on, dance Jump on it ♪ If you can dance, then flaunt it ♪ If you freaky, then own it ♪ Don't brag about it Come show me ♪ Come on, dance Jump on it ♪ If you can dance, then flaunt it ♪ Saturday night and we in the spot ♪ Don't believe me just watch ♪ Come on ♪ Whoo! ♪ Uh, don't believe me just watch ♪ Yeah, come on! ♪ Uptown Funk it up ♪ Say what? ♪ Uptown Funk it up ♪ Uptown Funk it up a'
♪ All we need is love ♪ Wanna shout it from the rooftops ♪ All we need is love ♪ I feel the love under the stars ♪ On the rooftop tonight ♪ Here we come together as one ♪ Connected by our beating hearts ♪ All around the world ♪ All we need is love ♪ I'm calling out to you ♪ All we need is love ♪ A revolution of love ♪ All we need is love ♪ Here we go, go, go ♪ All we need is love ♪ Wanna shout it from the rooftops ♪ All we need is love ♪ Green lights all of the way on the freeway of love ♪ We got it all if we got each other ♪ And everything will be all right ♪ All around the world ♪ All we need is love ♪ I'm calling out to you ♪ All we need is love ♪ A revolution of love ♪ All we need is love ♪ Here we go, go, go ♪ All we need is love ♪ Wanna shout it from the rooftops ♪ All we need is love ♪ We're on a one way ticket to paradise ♪ We're kicking down the doors and coming alive ♪ All we need is love ♪ From the ground up ♪ Let's start a revolution of love ♪ All we need is love ♪ All we need is love ♪ All we need is love ♪ All we need is love ♪ All we need is love ♪ Wanna shout it from the rooftops ♪ All we need is love ♪ We're on a one way ticket to paradise ♪ We're kicking down the doors and coming alive r All we need is love ♪ From the ground up ♪ Let's start a revolution of love a he table, The other rips the curtain]'
Category:Transcripts
Category:20th Century Fox Transcripts