Klan Nork

The Nork Klan of orks has confused Inquisitorial scholars for centuries. They are an enigma wrapped in a conundrum with no clear answer. The Norks, or “New Orkz”, a clan of orks with the unique power to dream. While it is unclear if all orks dream, the Norks apparently dream quite vividly and project these dreams onto the real world. They produce an astounding number of Weird Boyz and are fearsome in the extreme due to their unpredictable psychic might.
Norks are also among the “smartest” klans of orks, though even by the standards of simpletons they hardly compare. Their “intelligence” comes from the fact that Klan Nork believes in a great many bits of propaganda, poorly written articles, superstitions, and rumors. However, because of their potent psychic abilities cures that have no business working will work, tactics that are idiotic miraculously are pulled off flawlessly, and technology that cannot possibly work does so as intended.
The great downfall of the norks is their lethargy. While other ork klans rampage endlessly, norks like to sleep, eat, and over-indulge in pleasures of the flesh. This is particularly perplexing as orks don’t actually need to sleep or eat much and are largely sexless. They are famous for their drug use because, despite being immune to them and drugs having absolutely no effect on ork physiology, they believe it enhances their psychic powers and therefore it does. It is theorized that norks are doing this to imitate other sentient species like humans, Tau, and even tyranids. Norks rarely WAAAGH! And when they do it is not for as long as other ork klans.
== Relationship with Other Klans ==
Norks believe themselves to be the next stage of orkish evolution (though they wouldn’t put it so scientifically) and as such look down on other klans. In return other klans punch them in their stupid faces and steal their toofs. Nork cults have started in other klans however, often when a nork weirdboy visits another klan and strikes up a following.
It is worth noting that Norks have a much looser bond as a singular “klan” and many will often go off on adventures (called “wagha’boutz” or “mind’findins’”) where they end up as raiders, mercenaries, or (most commonly) cult leaders in other ork klanz. Their presence in the WAAAGH! field of a klan enhances it so much many warbosses will tolerate these lethargic, drug-addled, un-orky boyz in their warband. These vagrant boyz often return to the klan years later if they survive so long. They are called "Wandering Weirdboyz" or "Dream Boyz"
== Dreamsteel ==
Norks produce a rare and exotic material called “dreamsteel” by an unknown process. This pearlescent metal is as hard as steel but receptive to psychic energy. It is only minorly receptive, nothing compared to force weapons or the like, but it can grow stronger or even more flexible by the unconscious will of the wielder. Some Inquisitorial records seem to indicate that dreamsteel is merely steel that has been worn by a dreaming nork weirdboy or that it is steel that has been “irradiated” by the overwhelming psychic presence of one of the (comparatively) rare Nork WAAAGH!.
== Notable Norks ==
High Boss’Um Big Dreamz: Big Dreamz was a weirdboy warboss who initiated the first Nork WAAAGH!. He had such a powerful psychic presence in the warp that eldar warlocks were terrified to face him in combat. He eventually exploded, taking out several thousand norks, when he tried to channel the full fury of the WAAAGH! against an Imperial titan. To his credit, and the Imperium’s eternal shame, he did manage to destroy the Titan in the process.
Da Nightmare Hog: An ancient Gargantuan Squiggoth. It has great vasts of hallucinogenic drugs on its back that are both injected into its body by great pipes and that its attendants use to hose down foes.
Ol’ Two ‘Eds: This odd ork is immortal. It’s unclear why but after its head was severed from its body it was planted in a pot of and has since grown a new body. The pain boyz say that it was something they heard about from a “plant doctor” and assumed it would work on an ork. They were wrong but enough of them believed it that their WAAAGH! field forced it to work. Now whenever Ol’ Two ‘Ed gets killed they just plant his head in a pot and he regrows a new body eventually. He also has two heads. No one is really sure why.
Warboss Last Nap: One of the earliest Warbosses of Klan Nork who history remembers for defeating an early arm of the Emperor's Great Crusade. Last Nap was finally put to rest by the Eld slayer Qildare.
Capt. Baby Toez: This infamous Nork freebooter is the scourge of seven systems. They say he always goes into combat sleeping and is famous for wearing a nightcap with a spiked ball at the end of it. His dreams are never wrong and he has the power of prophecy, allowing his cunning plans to always go off without a hitch.
Big Chief Nartha: Orks don’t really have genders but Nartha sure does. She is something of a Nork sex symbol and culture hero. She seems to have grown female-looking anatomy (somehow) and has a jet-engine for a fist so no one really argues with her life choices.
Big Mek Squiggle: “Squiggle” is a self-described “visionary artist”, mechanic, and master of dreamsteel. He can forge it into almost anything and makes as much “art” as he does weapons. No one really questions his skill in either, mostly because they can’t tell the difference between the two. His various pieces of performance art, art installations, and sculptures are often as deadly, if not more so, than his actual attempts to make functional weapony.
== Notable Nork Campaigns ==
* Da Tiff at Crosmun: Tempers flared when Klan Wildstorm was raided by Capt. Baby Toez and his freebooter boyz. In retaliation the Wildstorm warboss Superhard Tuff-Tuff attacked a pleasure world that Klan Nork was lounging on. The resulting battle dragged on for 2 solid years and only ended when the two sides got bored and found a nice Tau colony to destroy together.
* The Heartslayer Rift: A rift developed between local lords in the Koji System over trading rights and marriage proposals. The resulting blood-feud cost many Imperial lives and weakened the system's defenses. This gave ork freebooterz from the Nork Klan the chance to raid many of the worlds and attack lucrative Imperial trading hubs. The Shrikes were called in to deal with them and, while the chapter suffered heavy casualties against the psychically gifted ork klan, they slew the powerful Ork Kaptain and driven them off.
* War of Broken Dreams: The Family (a legion of Chaos Space Marines) was dispatched to "gallantly guard chemicals vital to the Imperium's continued war effort" which, in reality, was actually an order to guard the psychotropic vats of an Important chaos cult. Klan Nork, the orks in question, had been raiding it for the drugs they so desired and a system-spanning conflict developed between the two powers. Eventually they attracted the notice of the Aquila Legion who helped turn the tide against the ork klan. In the end the 5 worlds of the systems were dusted with hallucinogens, covered with diseases, and laid to waste.
* The Battle of Crashing Waves: Orks from Klan Nork, a large number of Freebooters, and the Snakebites all descended on the Imperial world of Haiyang. This metropolis was garrisoned by 2 regiments from Somnium. Both sides used human (or ork) wave attacks and the casualties were atrocious. According to Imperial propaganda: despite millions dying on both sides not a single Imperial civilian was killed. This is probably because the Somnium commissars had a habit of mass-conscription, sometimes conscripting entire city-blocks to fight the orks. The battle was quickly joined by several thousands members of the Rift Jumpers.
* The Dream Root Profanity: After an Inquisitor discovered that the local population of an Imperial world was trading drugs to the Ork Klan Nork for their services as mercenaries the Star Marshals were called in to exterminate the ork menace and slay the xenos-loving traitors. This turned into a desperate battle when a Kabalite warband from Castle Mor’Yondo got involved in order to protect their drug trade. It turns out they had been supplying the humans the drugs to sell to the orks in hopes of weakening the system. The trade had primarily been of a powerful hallucinogen called "dreamroot" that enhanced the user's psychic power while driving them made from pain and terror. The Marshals eventually cleaned up the entire scene, confiscated the drugs and arrested (or executed) all involved.
Category:Xenos
Category:Orks
Category:Ork Clan