Meet the Fas

All this has happened before, and it will all happen again. But this time, it happened in London. It happened on a quiet street in Bloomsbury. That corner house over there is the home of the Fa family, and Master Crane chose this particular house because there were people and animals who believed in him. There was Mrs. Fa.
In the bathroom of the corner house, there was a Chinese woman with olive skin, black hair and dark brown eyes, wearing a pink Chinese dress, black pumps, a blue sash, and a red ribbon around her waist. Her name was Mulan. And she was busy fixing her hair in front of the mirror for a ball.
"Adam dear, do hurry," Mulan called out. "We mustn't be late for the party, you know."
Mrs. Fa believed that Master Crane was the spirit of youth. But Mr. Fa...
In the bedroom, there was a French man with long light auburn hair and blue eyes, wearing a white dress shirt, black dress pants trimmed with gold, matching boots, and a navy blue ballroom tail coat trimmed with gold. His name was Prince Adam, Mulan's husband. And he was looking for his gold cuff links through some drawers.
"Mulan, unless I find my cuff links, we don't go to the party," Adam called back. "And if we don't go to the party, I can never show my face in the kingdom again. And if I can never--"
Unfortunately, he got cut off by bumping his head on the open top drawer.
"OUCH!" cried Adam, as he hopped around, holding his head.
Well, Mr. Fa was a practical man. The twins, however, Pixie and Dixie, who were Prince Adam and Mulan's adopted sons, believed Master Crane was a real animal and made him the hero of all their nursery games.
In the nursery, we see two shadows fighting each other with toy swords. One has one in its left hand and a hanger in its right while the other has another in its right hand.
One of the shadows belonged to a gray mouse, wearing blue footy pajamas, matching glasses, a red fedora with a black rim band, and a black cape with a dark red color inside. His name was Pixie, Prince Adam and Mulan's adoptive son. And he was the one with the hanger in his right hand and the toy sword in his left.
The other shadow belonged to another gray mouse, wearing red footy pajamas. His name was Dixie, Pixie's twin brother and Adam and Mulan's other adoptive son. And he was the one with the sword in his right hand.
"Blast you, Master Crane!" Pixie said in a scary voice.
Dixie bonked his brother on the head twice with his sword. "Take that!" he cried. Then he and Pixie blocked their toy swords together. "Give up, Captain Negaduck?" he smirked, "Give up?"
"Never!" called Pixie. Then he opened a drawer that was underneath Dixie's pajama-clad feet with the hanger, and he fell in as Pixie yelled, "I'll teach you to cut off me hand!"
Just about then, a green snake with azure eyes and green scales slithered in. She was wearing a jungle green nightgown and two lotus flowers on her head. Her name was Viper, Adam and Mulan's adoptive daughter and Pixie and Dixie's big sister. She was also carrying a jug with her mouth.
"Oh no, Pixie," Viper giggled. "It was the left paw."
"Oh, yes. Thank you, Viper." said Pixie, as he switched the hanger from his right hand to his left and the sword from his left hand to his right.
Master Viper, the eldest and adopted daughter of Prince Adam and Mulan, not only believed. She was the supreme authority on Master Crane and all his marvelous adventures.
While Viper was in the hallway, she sighed as she talked to four figures, "Oh, Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, Oliver. Must we always take that nasty tonic?"
"Yes, you have to." said a voice. The figures walked out to reveal a black kitten with blue eyes, wearing a red ribbon around his neck named Berlioz, an orange kitten with hazel eyes, wearing a blue bow around his neck named Toulouse, a white kitten with blue eyes, wearing a big pink bow around her neck and a smaller one on her head, and an orange kitten with green eyes and dark orange stripes on his back, wearing a blue collar with a golden license named Oliver. Berlioz was carrying a tray of three spoons and a bottle of tonic for Viper, Pixie, and Dixie.
Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver, the butlers and nursemaid, being four cats, kept their opinions to themselves.
"We do not!" Berlioz insisted after Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver walked over a pillow.
And they viewed the whole affair with a certain tolerance.
Berlioz put the tray on a small table. Then he went over to the pillow to pick it up while Pixie and Dixie were still playing.
"Take that!" Dixie called.
Pixie and Dixie played around, hopping around the beds. "Insolent bird, I'll slash you to ribbons!" Pixie yelled.
Berlioz went to the bed, placed the pillow there, and fixed up the sheets and blanket up. "And I'll cut you to pieces! Aha!" Dixie called.
As he hit Pixie, the mouse in blue yelped in pain. "Ouch! Careful, Dixie, my glasses!"
"I'm sorry, Pixie." Dixie said.
Then Marie picked up two blocks and went to the other blocks. Pixie and Dixie hopped back to the bed, messing it up again. "Ah! You'll never leave this ship alive!" Pixie shouted.
So both of them bounced up and down as the pillow fell off again. "Oh yes, I will," Dixie shouted back. "Take that!"
When Marie placed the ABC on the top, she quickly turned as they realized that she had made a mistake. She got them to BAC. "Oops," said Marie. "I got A and B backwards." So she took the A block, moved the B block, and placed it to the first. She and the other kittens smiled and walked to the tonic for the kids.
"Scuttle me bones, bird! I'll slit your gizzard!" Pixie yelled, as he stabbed as his wooden sword. It ripped through the sheets.
Then Berlioz poured on the spoons. "Oh, no, you won't," Dixie cried. "Back! Back! Back, you villain!" As they moved through the sheets, he pushed his wooden sword against Pixie's.
"Insolent bird with a dumb hat!" Pixie snarled.
Berlioz heard that as he turned, only to get the tonic on his paw. He put it down. "Wicked duck pirate!" Dixie cried.
"Aha! I got you!" Pixie shouted.
"You didn't either. You never touched me!" Dixie smirked. When Berlioz licked it off, he was grossed out by the taste. "Oooh!" Berlioz grimaced, "This tonic does taste nasty." "Take that! And that! And that!" When Dixie thrust his sword at Pixie, he got it under his arm as if he made it look like he got him.
Pretending he was dead, Pixie placed a hand over his chest, groaned a fake death groan, and collapsed to the floor. That's when Adam came into the nursery.
"Boys, boys. Less noise, please." Adam said, without looking where he was going. He knocked the blocks down as Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Berlioz heard that, and they had to get them back together as they frowned in annoyance.
Pixie saw him. "Oh, hello, daddy." he said in a normal voice. But Dixie was still playing.
"You old bilge rat!" Dixie cried out.
Then Adam heard that and was insulted. "Wha- wha-what? Now see here, Dixie!"
"Oh, not you, daddy. You see, he's Master Crane." Pixie told him.
"And Pixie's Captain Negaduck." Dixie added.
"Yes, yes, of course. Er, have you seen my cuff links?" Adam asked before he bumped Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver, knocking the blocks down again. "Oh, Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver, for goodness' sake!" Adam shouted, walking past the annoyed kittens, "Where are those cuff links?" Berlioz smashed the last blocks that were standing with his paw. "Here we go again!" said Marie, rolling her eyes. Toulouse and Oliver only smirked at this.
"Cuff links, daddy?" asked Pixie.
"Yes. The gold ones." Adam answered, still looking around.
"Dixie, the buried treasure," Pixie whispered to his brother. "Where is it?"
"I don't know, Pixie." Dixie said in an innocent way.
"The map then… Where's the treasure map?" Pixie whispered.
"It got lost." Dixie said.
While Adam was looking around the bed, he then spotted something under the covers, he was shocked as he shouted, "Good heavens! My fancy vest!" He grabbed his golden vest.
"Hurray! You found it! You found it!" Dixie cheered.
Adam put it on over his dress shirt, as he turned. He didn't know that it got chalk all over his vest, the one that looked like the lost map. "Yes, so I have. And hereafter..." As then, Dixie came and pulled his vest "Don't paw me, Dixie! This is my last clean..." It was loose as he has saw something shocking and horrifying. He saw a lost map. "No..." He can't say something, only he covered his vest shouting, "NO!"
Mulan came in with a white magnolia flower on top of a jade-green comb in her hair and said, "Adam dear, we really must hurry or we'll be late."
"Mulan! Look!" Adam said, showing Mulan his vest.
Mulan saw that and was shocked. "Adam!"
"It's only chalk, daddy." Dixie said.
"Why, Dixie..." Mulan was about to say something when Pixie cut in.
"It's not his fault," said Pixie. "It's in the story. And Viper said..."
When Adam heard what Pixie said, he now knew what was up. "Viper? Story? I might have known." He walked to the door as he called out, "VIPER?" He crossed his arms and called out even louder. "VIPER!"
Viper heard him, slithered in, and asked, "Yes, father?"
"Would you kindly expl-" Adam was about to say something. But Viper slithered by him when she saw the radiance of Mulan's dress.
"Oh, mother! You look simply lovely!" Viper said.
"Thank you, dear." Mulan smiled.
Adam turned to her in annoyance and said, "Viper..."
"Just my old gown made over but it did turn out right. And I-" Mulan was about to say.
"Mulan, if you don't mind, I'd..." Adam said, as Viper turned and saw his vest.
"Why, father! What have you done to your vest?" Viper asked.
Adam couldn't believe what she was saying. "What have I...?" He then turned and screamed in shame. "AAAAAOOOOOOOHHHHHH!"
Mulan walked to him with a damp washcloth. "Now, Adam, really. It comes right off." She washed off the chalk on his vest.
"That's no excuse!" He frowned while Viper, Pixie, and Dixie were putting the toys away. "Viper, haven't I warned you? Stuffing the twins' heads with a lot of silly stories."
"Oh, but they aren't!" Viper protested.
"I say they are! Captain Negabuck! Master Duck!" Adam said.
"Master Crane, father." Viper told him.
"Crane, duck," Adam shouted, trying to put on collar around his neck. "Poppycock!"
"Oh no, father."
"Daddy, have you ever-"
"You don't understand." The children tried to tell him.
"ABSOLUTE POPPYCOCK!" Adam shouted, finally getting the collar together. "And let me tell you, this ridiculous..."
"Now, Adam..." Mulan said, about to let him put on his white kerchief.
"Now, Adam! Now, Adam!" He repeated of what Mulan said, while Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver were almost done helping Berlioz put the blocks back up. But they stopped to listen. "WELL, 'NOW, ADAM' WILL HAVE HIS SAY!" He put the kerchief in his vest himself, but he put it in too deep.
"Please, dear." Mulan said, taking his kerchief halfway out and adjusting it.
"Mulan, when we adopted Viper to part of our family when she was orphaned, she's growing up," As when Berlioz picked up two more blocks, he listened very carefully. "It's high time she had a room of her own!" He pointed at the hall as it shocked them all.
"Father!" Viper gasped.
"Adam!" Mulan gasped.
"What?!" Pixie gasped.
"No!" Dixie gasped.
Berlioz dropped all the blocks while he, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver gasped in shock and couldn't believe what they were hearing and what Adam was doing. "I mean it! Young lady, this is your last night in the nursery!" he said, as Viper lowered her head in sadness. "And that's my last word on the matter!" He walked away, only to nearly stomp on Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver and tried to get out of the way. Adam couldn't move around and was ready to fall. And he was losing his steps!
Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver moved away, as they fully stopped. But they nearly knocked the blocks again because Adam bumped into them and knocked them down. Now they must move away before it happens. But Berlioz stepped the wagon, rolled back, and fell as Adam stepped on it and rolled around here. "NO!" And when Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver were rolling by, the wagon made a tear in the rug, and Adam was sent flying as he yelled, "NO!" And with a large crash, he fell into the dresser, knocking the toys down. Viper, Pixie, Dixie, and Mulan were shocked that Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver were against the wall.
As for Adam, he was on the floor in pain, and last of the toys fell on his head, the last was the jack-in-the-box, and up popped the jack, as it stood on his head, which made Adam mad and annoyed.
"Oh!" Viper, Pixie, Dixie, and Mulan all said together. Adam heard them, and knew that they saw him get hurt, and caring of him. So he closed his eyes and waited for them. But suddenly, they ran past him, which made Adam open his widened eyes in shock. As they ran to Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver, but Adam.
"Poor Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver!" they said together again.
Adam couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Poor Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver?" Now he was very angry as he hopped up on his feet when he stomped up and shouted, "This is the last straw!" He pointed his finger out the door shouting, "OUT! OUT, I SAY!"
Dixie, Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver were hugging each other. "No, daddy, no!" Dixie pleaded.
Adam grabbed Oliver by the tail while he, Berlioz, Toulouse, and Marie were still hugging each other and shouted, "YES! There'll be no more cats for butlers or nursemaids in this house!" Dixie grabbed Berlioz's tail. But Mulan stopped him by picking him up as Adam was dragging Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver out the room.
Pixie started to cry as he waved to his friends. "Goodbye, Berlioz. Goodbye, Toulouse. Goodbye, Marie. Goodbye, Oliver."
"Goodbye, Dixie!" Marie said cheerfully, as she, her brothers, and her boyfriend waved goodbye back. As Adam walked out to the back, he muttered to himself, "Poor Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver. Oh yes, poor Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver. But poor father? Oh, no." He let go of Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver and looked for some ropes, and couldn't find any. "Blast it! Where are those ropes?" He turned as he saw Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver holding four ropes in their mouths. Adam walked to them and said, "Oh, thank you." As he was tying the ropes to Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver's collars, the four kittens gave him sad looks. "Oh, boy!" sighed Oliver. Adam saw that and couldn't bear the sight. "Oh, dash it all, you four. D-Don't look at me like that."
He walked to the fountain and filled up the kittens's dishes. He picked them up and filled them more. "It's nothing personal. It's just that- Well, you're not really butlers or a nurse at all You're… Well, four cats. And the children aren't kittens, they're a mice and a snake." He placed the water dishes near Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver. "And sooner or later, Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver, these animals have to grow up." He pet Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver's heads.
Inside the house, the kids are in various objects for their beds, as Mulan knew that Adam didn't mean to do that to Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver.
Viper uses a basket as a bed. She looked depressed. "But mother, I don't want to grow up." she pleaded.
"Now dear," Mulan said, as she kissed her on the forehead and covered her up with a jungle green blanket. "Don't worry about it anymore tonight."
As for Pixie, he uses one of a person's shoes as a bed. "He called Master Crane 'absolute poppycock'." Pixie said to himself after what his daddy had said.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it, Pixie," Mulan said, as she removed the glasses from his eyes, the cape from his shoulders, and the fedora from his head. "Father was just upset."
As for Dixie, he uses the person's other shoe as a bed. He had tears running down his whiskers. "Poor Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver," Dixie sniffled. "out there all alone."
"No more tears, Dixie. It's a warm night. They'll be all right." Mulan said, as she covered him up with a red blanket, kissed his forehead, and left.
Then Dixie remembered something. "Mommy?" he asked.
Mulan turned around and asked, "What is it, dear?"
"Buried treasure." Dixie had the cuff links that A was looking for, and he gave them to Mulan.
"Now, children, don't judge your father too harshly. After all, he really loves you very much." She walked to the window door, and was about to lock it up.
But Viper stopped her as she said, "Oh don't lock it, mother. He might come back."
"He?" Mulan asked in a puzzled way.
"Yes, Master Crane. You see, I found something that belongs to him." Viper said, as she lay down.
"Oh, and what's that?" asked Mulan.
She yawned and said, "His shadow."
"Shadow?" Mulan asked, very surprised.
"Mm-hmm. Berlioz, Toulouse, Marie, and Oliver had it, but I-I took it away." Viper said, as she drifted off to sleep.
"Oh? Yes, of course. Good night, dear." Mulan said, as she turned off the light, walked out, and left for the party.
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Peter Pan
Category:Peter Pan Fanmakes
Category:Peter Pan parodies