Squidward Private Island

Squidward Private Island is the twenty-fifth episode and the seventh episode of Season Two in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
Squidward decides to get his own private island after being sick of his neighbors' antics.
==Synopsis==
Squidward is seen on an island all by himself, with nobody else around. All that surrounds him is some palm trees and is sitting on a beach chair.
“This is the life,” he says, taking a sip of his coconut tea. “This is life.”
Just then, he hears SpongeBob and Patrick laughing. Squidward snaps out of his daydream, and he gets up from the couch.
“Stupid neighbors, always trying to ruin my daydreams.”
SpongeBob and Patrick are blowing bubbles outdoors. Patrick blows a huge cube bubble with his bubble wand.
“How the heck did you do that, Patrick?” SpongeBob asks.
“Beats me,” Patrick says, shrugging. “The power of my lungs is an enigma.”
We then see a closeup of Patrick’s brain, as a bottle of milk falls down and explodes inside it.
“My turn!” SpongeBob says, taking a huge inhale, and blowing a tiger bubble.
“It’s a kitty! C’mere, kitty!” Patrick says, but SpongeBob shushes him.
“It’s a tiger, Patrick. You don’t want to go near it.”
“Can you dumb donkeys keep it down down there?” Squidward yells. “Some us are trying to-”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, relax. We get it, buddy. How about you keep quiet for once?” Patrick says.
“D- don’t back sass me!” Squidward says. “That’s what I’m supposed to do!”
“You’re supposed to keep quiet.”
“Why you little… fine, you win this time. Keep being annoying. I’m sure someone else will file a noise complaint tonight.” Squidward slams his window shut and tries to sleep.
“Wow, Patrick. I’ve never seen you that aggressive before,” SpongeBob says.
“It’s been building up inside for quite a while,” Patrick replies.
“I wish I knew how to do that.”
“I can teach you.”
Cut to Squidward lying around in multiple positions on his bed. He groans.
“I’m never gonna get to sleep. I’ll just be an insomniac for the rest of my life,” he moans. “Unless…” 
A lightbulb goes off above his head.
“Agh! My eyes!” Squidward turns off the lightbulb. “Anyway, I got an idea! I can just buy myself a new place! But wait… I won’t have my special royalty treatment anymore. I gotta think about this while I sleep. If I’m able to…”
(2 hours later…)
“Oh, I can't take it anymore! I'm moving to a private island pronto!”
Squidward gets up, puts on his clothes, and gets on his phone. He pulls up a real estate app and finds a private island he likes, and purchases it.
“They have an app for everything nowadays,” he says to himself. “It’s time to pack my bags, because Squidward Private Island is a go!”
A postcard of the private island is shown on screen, and it cuts to Squidward in vacation gear with suitcases in both of his hands.
“Bon voyage, losers!” he yells. “See you never!”
SpongeBob is watching a video on his phone.
“Bahahaha! That snail is such a goof!” he says, laughing. “Let’s go see what our good buddy Squidward is up to.”
SpongeBob goes outside to see Squidward getting on a private jet.
“Squidward, I didn’t know you had a private jet!”
“It’s actually the mayor’s private jet. I’m leaving to move into my own private island!” he says.
“A private island?! Squidward, you can’t just go like that! We wanted you to stay here, next to us in the first place, remember?”
“Not listening, toodle-loo!” Squidward hops on the jet and it flies away, leaving SpongeBob sad.
“What’s going on, SpongeBob?” Patrick asks, just seeing the jet fly away.
“Squidward’s leaving, Patrick.”
“NOOOO!”
“Calm down, buddy. We don’t want another tantrum like last time, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Besides, I think I have a plan to get us back together.”
“I’m listening.”
Cut to Squidward landing to his destination. He gets off the jet, thanks the mayor, and walks onto the island.
“All mine, it’s all mine!” Squidward declares, penetrating the sand with his custom flag which just has his face on it. “Now everyone will know that this island belongs to this beautiful creature right here: Squidward Tentacles!”
Squidward looks around the island in triumph.
“Odd. I feel a sudden sense of emptiness. That emptiness shall be gone once I get my new house built!”
Silence.
“Wait, did I even think about this at all? Do I even have a house to live in? Did I do all this for no- OH SWEET NEPTUNE!”
Squidward sees a shiny dome house up ahead. He walks up to it in awe, and opens its door. He looks around in even more awe.
“This is… amazing! Where have you been all my life?”
He goes upstairs to find a really shiny toilet.
“Ooh… darn, it isn’t automatic. Good thing I brought my robot assistant with me. Otto?”
A weird-looking robot named Otto comes sliding into the bathroom.
“You’re fired,” he says.
Squidward laughs. “You’re funny. Now go flush the toilet for me.”
“You’re fired.”
“You’re not helping.”
Squidward goes into the next room to see a luxurious-looking living room with everything one could want.
“Oh my neptune, I’ve never seen a living room like this before! It even has an automatic recliner!”
Squidward approaches the sofa, and it automatically picks him up and puts him in a seat.
“This is life! Forget Fancyland, this is the real deal!”
(Meanwhile…)
“You ready, Patrick?” SpongeBob asks.
“I’m ready, Freddy!”
“I’m SpongeBob.”
“Same difference.”
“Let’s just hop in the jet already.”
SpongeBob and Patrick approach the same jet that Squidward used to get to the private island, and it zooms off.
“Sooo thiissss isss what it’ssss liikkke beeeinnng inn a jeettttt!” Patrick says.
“Patrick, quit overreacting. It’s just a faster plane.”
“Eeexxxaaaccctttlllyyy!” Patrick’s skull comes flying out of his body, and it lands in the ocean below. “I’ll pick that up later.”
(10 minutes later…)
“We’re here!” SpongeBob declares.
“Already? Feels like it’s been 10 minutes,” Patrick says.
“That’s because it HAS been 10 minutes.”
“Oh. Guess I’m good at tracking time.”
“You literally have been looking at your watch for the entire ride.”
“Oh, right.”
The two hop off the jet, and the jet flies off.
“Not gonna lie, this place sure looks lovely,” SpongeBob remarks.
“If they don’t have ice cream, I’m not gonna like it here,” Patrick says.
Cut back to Squidward watching a sea anemone on the big 8K TV screen in the living room.
“8K looks hotter than me, if I’m being honest here,” Squidward says, taking a sip of his raspberry tea. “I also didn’t know what I’ve been missing out in the drink world. I hope they have cherry tea as well.”
Otto comes into the room and hands Squidward a glass of cherry tea.
“I didn’t even know that was a thing!”
Squidward starts squirming.
“Gotta go!” He heads off to the bathroom.
Squidward is looking through social media on his phone, when he sees that SpongeBob has made a new post.
“Forgot I followed that fool. Let’s see what idiocy he’s up to this time.”
He pulls up a video of SpongeBob hang gliding through the air. Squidward silently chuckles as he falls flat to the ground.
“Even though he has everything in the world, he’d rather do stupid stuff like this instead.”
Squidward thinks for some time, and has an epiphany.
“Oh, who am I kidding? This place is great and all, but it’s missing something. Actual people I can hang out with, even if they’re extremely annoying. A necessary evil, if you may. Kinda like algebra and the news. Honestly, I’m not sure if I want to stay here anymore.”
He hears the doorbell ring.
“Who could that be?” he wonders.
He tries to open the door, but it locks itself. An alarm sounds as the entire house goes into lockdown.
“What the-?!” Squidward says, confused.
“RED ALERT. RED ALERT. SPONGE AND STARFISH AT FRONT DOOR.” the alarm announces.
“Speak of the devil,” Squidward says to himself.
“Let them in!” Squidward says out loud.
“RED ALERT. RED ALERT.
“C’mon, there’s gotta be something around here that turns off the alarm.”
Squidward checks every single room in the house, but no dice.
“Oh, what am I gonna do? Just suffer here in agony?”
Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick are panicking about the alarm.
“What do we do? What do we do? I can’t go to jail, I’m too young!” SpongeBob says.
“Yeah, and I’m too dumb!” Patrick says.
“Wait a second, Patrick. I just got a brilliant idea!”
“Yeah?”
“This is a dome, right?”
“Yeah?”
“We’ve been to Sandy’s treedome plenty of times, right?”
“Well, yeah?”
“We just have to do what we usually do if Sandy’s dome is in lockdown.”
“Sandy’s dome doesn’t have a lockdown mode.”
“Darn it.”
Cut back to Squidward, who’s rocking back and forth on the ground at this point.
“Forget it, this is how my life ends. Depressed, sad, lonely, and waiting for this stupid alarm to stop going off!” He starts sucking his thumb.
Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick.
“Okay, this is the last thing I can think of,” Patrick says. “But we need a lot of coconuts.”
“There’s some coconut trees over there,” SpongeBob says.
Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick waving their arms yelling “help!” next to a bunch of coconuts that read “SOS”.
“You really think this’ll work, Patrick?” SpongeBob asks. “I’ve only seen it work in TV shows and movies.”
“Maybe we ARE in a TV show!” Patrick says. “What would mine be called?”
“The Patrick Star Show?”
“Great name, buddy! To all my viewers at home, please don’t cut your cord just yet! We’re making history!”
(2 hours later…)
“So much for making history,” SpongeBob says. “Nobody’s coming.”
Just then, a rescue helicopter shows up. It approaches the two, and someone exits the helicopter and jumps down.
“You guys need help?” he asks.
“Yeah, but our friend is kind of in a situation as well,” SpongeBob says. “We kind of tripped an alarm and he’s been stuck inside for hours.”
“Maybe it’ll go out if you guys leave,” the rescue guy says.
The rescue guy hears faint glass banging nearby. It’s Squidward.
“Help! Get me outta here!” he yells at the top of his lungs.
The three of them approach the dome, and the rescue guy gets out a gizmo.
“What’s that?” SpongeBob asks.
“It’s an alarm diffuser. I have plenty of weird gadgets on me,” the rescue guy says.
“Do you have a back scratcher?” Patrick asks.
“Knock yourself out,” the guy says, handing him a backscratcher.
“Sweet!” Patrick says as he starts scratching his back.
The rescue guy activates the alarm diffuser, and the alarm stops going off. Squidward rushes outside with joy.
“Thank Neptune I’m saved!” Squidward says.
“Saved? You mean you wanted out?” SpongeBob says. “I thought you’d like it here!”
“I thought I did too, but then I realized something. Something too cheesy for me to say out loud.”
“Oh. Also, you should know that I specifically asked for you to live next to me,” SpongeBob says.
“I don’t care, just get me back home,” Squidward says quickly.
“Alrighty then,” the rescue guy says. “Hop in!”
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward all climb a ladder that goes up to the rescue helicopter, and it flies away.
Back on the island, an unknown figure sneaks in between the coconut trees and sees the dome house.
“Jackpot!” he says quietly.
With a massive bag  in his hand, he tries to enter, only for an alarm to sound.
“AGH! MY NONEXISTENT EARS!” he yells as he bolts away, trying to escape the island.
The episode ends with the figure being revealed to be BlackJack, and admitting defeat, he gets on his boat and drives away.
(end)
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