No Flipping Thanks

No Flipping Thanks is the second episode of season three, and the forty-second episode overall of Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
Greedy for even more money than he already has, Mr. Krabs decides to get into the crypto market by creating Krabby Koin, and selling NFTs of menu items. SpongeBob and Squidward gather a team to get him to stop the nefarious acts.
==Synopsis==
The episode starts out at the Krusty Krab, where Mr. Krabs is pacing back and forth, noticeably wearing a golden monocle.
“Why are you wearing a golden monocle, Mr. K?” SpongeBob asks.
“Me boy, I'm running out of golden bars to make golden stuff out of! I've not been getting as many customers lately,” Mr. Krabs responds.
“Why don't you just go out and buy some new golden stuff? You know money isn't an issue around here.”
“Buy?! Oh no, me boy, I've learned long ago not to trust the Fancylandish government. Don't you remember the whole Molten Lava fiasco?”
A brief flashback from the episode The Molten Lava is shown.
“Oh yeah, that fiasco. Gosh there's been so many fiascos it's hard to keep track,” SpongeBob says.
“Exactly. Which is exactly why I need to find a new way to get customers to give me their gold. Any ideas, boy?”
Squidward pipes in. “There's always the NFT market.”
“Squidward, what in the world is an NFT? Sounds like a disease,” Krabs says.
“NFT stands for non fungible token. It's basically where you sell images of stuff online for ludicrous amounts of cash. It's the biggest scam I've seen in years…”
Krabs’ eyes turn into dollar signs, and he screams in joy as he shakes Squidward.
“Thank ye, Mister Squidward! I'll go do that right now!”
He lets go of Squidward, who is now very dizzy and passes out on the floor.
“NFTs, huh? That's funny, must explain what all those other rich people are talking about,” SpongeBob says.
“Yeah, well it's a big scam just so they can get more money than they already have. Which is exactly what Krabs is doing,” Squidward informs him.
“You think we should stop him?”
“Nah, let him figure it out on his own.”
“Well okay, if you say so.”
Cut to the next day, where there is a giant electronic billboard in front of the Krusty Krab that says “NEW NFT DROP: KRABBY KOIN”. SpongeBob and Squidward walk up disappointedly to the front doors.
“Yep, he went through with it, not surprised,” Squidward says.
“How about now?” SpongeBob asks.
“Not yet.”
The duo push the doors open, and are greeted to an animatronic dollar bill wearing a bikini.
“Dang, that dollar bill’s got curves- wait what am I saying?!” Squidward catches himself simping for a robot.
“Morning, boys!” Mr. Krabs says, from somewhere.
“Where in the world is he?” SpongeBob asks.
“Right here, boys!” It is revealed that Mr. Krabs is talking through a Zoom chat at Squidward’s boat.
“Zoom calling. Veeeeery fancy,” Squidward says sarcastically.
“There’s no need for sarcasm, Squidward,” Mr. Krabs responds.
“I feel like I’ve been told that before.”
“Well never mind that. What I’m here to say is, blockchain is the way of the future! I’m truly invested in these new fangled things, and they have lots of potential… to make me money!”
SpongeBob whispers in Squidward’s ear, “Should we tell him now?”
Squidward whispers back, “Maybe.”
“What are you two whisperin’? I might not be here, but I’m not blind,” Mr. Krabs demands.
“Umm… we were talking about Bitcoin. Yeah, bitcoin, stocks stocks stocks, stonks stonks,” Squidward says quickly.
“Hmm… alrighty then. Y’know, I expected you guys to be completely against me decision here, but I’m pleasantly surprised. I’ll give you guys 0.001% of me gold bar profits from now on.”
“Hooray!” SpongeBob cheers, but Squidward covers his mouth.
“Well, I’ll be signing off. Good luck with the new Crypto Krusty Krab! In fact, I’m renaming this place to the Krypto Krusty Krab right now!”
The Krusty Krab sign outside is spontaneously replaced with a digital sign that says “KRYPTO KRUSTY KRAB”, along with a list of current stocks.
SpongeBob and Squidward see this change and take notice of a cryptocurrency named “Krabby Koin”.
“What the heck is a Krabby Koin anyway?” SpongeBob asks.
Suddenly, a mobile computer monitor akin to Karen’s rolls up to the two of them.
“Krabby Koin is a cryptocurrency, me boy!” Krabs says on the screen. “You buy it, sell it for a high price, and profit! Those scallywags think they’re getting a deal. Agagagag, no, only me.”
“This seems rather… cryptic,” SpongeBob says. A ba dum tss sound effect plays.
A customer wearing a bunch of ridiculously flashy clothing enters the establishment.
“Oh, our first new customer!” Krabs says. “Make sure to welcome him!”
“Yes, I’m here to buy some Krabby Koin,” the guy says. “I need a new cryptocurrency to fall back on after Poopcoin fell off.”
“That'll be 42,050 dollars per share, sir,” Krabs says.
“What a steal!” The guy then goes on his phone and gives Krabs some of his Bitcoin online.
“This feels illegal,” SpongeBob whispers to Squidward.
“Probably because it is,” Squidward whispers back.
“Alright, make sure to tell your friends about us!” Krabs says.
“Oh, I pester people on Twitter about crypto all the time. They'll be on it in no time,” the dude says as he starts to leave. “See you on the flip side, fellow crypto bro!”
“Crypto Bro?” SpongeBob scratches his head.
“Yeah, it's what we call each other now,” Krabs says. “Get used to it.”
Another customer pops in.
“Welcome to the Krypto Krab!” Krabs greets him. “What can we get for ya?”
“I would like a Krabby Patty with a side of coral bits,” he says.
“Coming right up!” Krabs says.
Ten seconds later, Krabs’ robot with a screen on it brings the customer a receipt.
“This right here is an NFT,” Krabs explains. “A Non Fungible Token, if you will. You can sell it for a higher price! And you can show it off and annoy people!”
“B-but can I eat it?”
Mr. Krabs lets out a loud laugh.
“No! It's for the economy! You don't eat NFTs. In fact, you can't even touch them!”
“This is stupid, I want a refund!”
“Uh uh uh! No refunds on the blockchain, mister.”
“This entire blockchain thing is stupid. Who would buy into this stuff?” 
“People not like you, obviously. Now get out, no disagreeing with the blockchain! THE BLOCKCHAIN DOESN’T LIE!”
The floorboard underneath the angry customer turns into an ejection seat and launches the customer into the stratosphere.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Squidward asks.
“Oh uhh sure, he'll be fine,” Krabs responds nervously. “Well, I have to go polish my new cryptocurrency, so I'm leaving this all to you guys. Don't let me down!”
The monitor on the robot finally turns off, and Squidward and SpongeBob look at each other. They then nod as a bubble transition appears.
Later that day, SpongeBob and Squidward are protesting with picket signs similar to the ones in “Squid on Strike”.
“You know what they say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” Squidward says.
“That is true, but how do you expect this to work?” SpongeBob asks.
“Finally, someone is speaking the truth!” a random fish says nearby. “NFTs are bad for the environment, yo.”
“The environment?!” SpongeBob says. “Nooooo! This is even worse than I thought!”
“What can I say, we’re telling the truth,” Squidward says with a smirk.
As the time goes by, more and more people have joined the protest. Eventually a giant crowd has formed in protest of the new NFTs.
“Krusty Krab is unfair! Mr. Krabs is in there! Standing in possession… of digital possessions!” they all chant.
“Squidward, I must say, you are a protesting genius,” SpongeBob compliments.
Squidward unexpectedly blushes, and immediately afterwards, Mr. Krabs on the same monitor screen rolls out to see what is going on.
“Ooh, a lot of customers today!” he says in pure excitement. “Wonder why they’re all gathered around in a circle, though.”
“Because we’ve had enough of your malarkey, Krabs!” Shubie yells out.
“Malarkey? Oh, you must be kidding,” Krabs responds. “There is no malarkey in Bikini Bottom.”
“We’re not even IN Bikini Bottom, you dunderhead!” Tony says. “We’re in Fancyland!”
“Oh… right. Well, uh, this is awkward.”
Krabs looks around sheepishly to see that even his own employees are mad at him. “Boys! I can explain!”
“Explain all you want, Krabs, but it doesn’t stop us from doing what’s right,” Squidward says threateningly.
“Wh-what are you going to do to me?” Krabs asks, terrified.
Squidward pulls out a brand new baseball bat and destroys the robot that Krabs is using to communicate.
“Wh-wh-y w-w-w-ould you-” the machine then shuts off abruptly.
Squidward blows on the bat. “They had a three for one sale at the sports store.”
It is then revealed that Krabs has been in the safe with the secret formula this whole time.
“Good thing Plankton isn't here, agagagagagag!” Krabs says. Just then, however, he hears the angry mob stampede into his office.
“This is his office, everyone, let's get him!” Squidward shouts.
“Oh no…” Krabs whimpers.
“Where is that scumbag?” Fred demands.
“I can't tell you that. It's a Krusty Krab secret,” SpongeBob replies.
Fred punches SpongeBob in the nose.
“I'm still not telling you.”
They then hear Krabs’ muffled laughter from inside the safe.
“He's in there!” Mabel points out.
“But how are we going to get in the safe?” Tom asks.
(Five minutes later…)
“Phew,” Krabs sighs in relief. “I think they're finally gone.”
Krabs then opens up the safe and slides out. He is then met to an angry mob in front of him.
“OUT WITH THE CRYPTO!” the mob yells as they beat Krabs up off-screen. Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Squidward are walking back to their houses.
“Gee, I hope Krabs ends up okay,” SpongeBob says.
“Oh he'll be fine. As long as his stupid shell is on,” Squidward says back. “See you at work tomorrow… I guess…”
They both enter their houses and shut the front door behind them. Gary is then seen watching an inappropriate snail video.
SpongeBob gasps. “GARY!”
Gary then looks at him with a box of tissues in his hand. “Uh… meow?”
“This is a family friendly program! How do you even do that anyway?”
Several seconds of silence.
“Well, see you later, Gary. Uhh… bye.” SpongeBob then rushes upstairs.
Cut back to the Krusty Krab, where Mr. Krabs is getting mercilessly beaten.
“Please, please, I’ll do anything! I’ll- I’ll even take down the NFTs! All of them!”
“Yeah that’d be nice,” Scooter says. “Dude.”
“Then it’s settled… no more NFTs for the Krusty Krab ever again,” Krabs says.
Everyone leaves in satisfaction, leaving Krabs physically in shambles.
“Good thing I have healthcare…” he mumbles.
In the surface world, Elon Musk is viewing this entire situation unfold.
“Man, when will they ever learn that Dogecoin is the way of the future?” he says while rubbing his chin like a supervillain. “Maybe I should teach them about cobalt mining.”
“Elon Musk sir?” his representative calls out.
“Yes, Mr. Representative?”
“Your daily dose of centrist memes is ready.”
“Oh goody!”
Elon Musk rushes into the kitchen and the episode ends.
==Trivia==
*This is the first episode where Elon Musk appears.
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