Out with the Old

Out with the Old is the seventeenth episode of Bikini Bottom Jenkins and the second episode of Season Two.
==Synopsis==
Old Man Jenkins enters the annual wrestling competition once again, and this time there is a new rival in town: Nobby.
==Transcript==
(Jenkins is watching the local news on his couch, eating sour cream and onion potato chips)
Jenkins: Oh dear. I hope those children are alright.
News anchor: And they all died.
Jenkins: Fiddlesticks.
(The TV then shows a news flash)
News anchor: Breaking news! The annual Bikini Bottom wrestling tournament starts tomorrow!
Jenkins: TOMORROW?! But I haven't even trained yet!
News anchor: Time sure goes by fast when you're having fun, huh? It feels like it's been thirty years since last year’s. See you all at the Salty Spitoon tomorrow for the competition of a lifetime! And now back to the weather.
Jenkins: Pfft. This year should be easy. Jess is too busy with her new child to compete this year. Ha! What a loser. (stuffs his face with the chips and burps loudly; he blushes) Oh, excuse me.
(Just then, the doorbell rings. Jenkins gets up from his couch and opens the door to see Old Man Walker on the other side)
Jenkins: Well hey there old pal! Haven't seen you in a minute.
Walker: (looking at watch) Has it been a minute already? Darn. Anyway, are you gonna enter the wrestling tournament this year?
Jenkins: Of course I am! Nobody stands in my way this year, though.
Walker: I wouldn't say that. There's a new competitor in town.
Jenkins: Really now? Who do it be?
Walker: Some young feller named Nobby. Or is it Bobby?
Jenkins: (flexing biceps) I'll show that old Nobby fella who's boss at the Spitoon. I'll show them all!
Walker: That's the spirit! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to rinse my teeth. Can I use your sink?
Jenkins: Erm, sure.
Walker: Thanks. (he makes his way to the restroom and turns on the sink. Off-screen the bathroom starts to flood)
Jenkins: …FLOOD!
(Flood transition to a plumber fixing the sink)
Jenkins: Well now that that's all taken care of, it's time for me to get started on my trainin’.
(Determination music plays as a training montage starts. Jenkins steadily runs on the treadmill, then he starts lifting some dumbbells. He then eats a bowl of cereal, and slurps it down with milk)
Jenkins: (looking at camera) Please don't judge me.
(The montage continues, and Jenkins starts panting as he repeats his training from before. The determination music slows down as Jenkins pants more and more each time he trains again. The montage ends with Jenkins face planting onto the floor)
Jenkins: (exhausted) Woo! I think that's enough training for now. (weakly punches the air) I think I'm ready for tomorrow. (passes out)
(Meanwhile at a shoddy shack on the outskirts of Bikini Bottom, a muscular narwhal named Nobby is also training for the wrestling tournament)
Nobby: (speaking gibberish as he lifts Narlene with his finger)
Narlene: Wowee, cousin! You sure are stronger than a bottle of pickles!
Nobby: (happily speaking gibberish as he squished Narlene into a ball and throws her into the trash can)
Narlene: (popping out of the trash can, cheering) Wowee! That was a thrill and a half right there! You'll kill the competition for sure! And we will win…
Narlene and Nobby: A lifetime supply of green beans!
(Cut back to Jenkins)
Jenkins: (in bed) I have GOT to get my hands on that lifetime supply of green beans. No matter what it takes. Even if I'll have to put my grubby little hands all OVER that young lil’ rascal! (pretends to grasp onto a can) Green beans, how I love you dearly. (he starts snoring)
(The next morning, we see a double shot of Nobby and Jenkins waking up in their respective beds. Nobby wakes up after sleeping on a bale of hay)
Narlene: (holding an airhorn) Darn, I was just getting ready to wake you up. Looks like you’re even more prepared than I am for the big day.
Jenkins: (stretches) What a nightmare. I dreamt that Nobby won against me. (yawns) Welp, time for the big day, Jenkins. (he gets up and goes into the restroom to brush his teeth)
(Nobby brushes his teeth with tar as toothpaste, and Narlene rubs his back)
Narlene: I’m so proud of you, cuz. I remember when you were just a short little narwhal. But look at ya now! Everyone’s cheering you on, big buddy.
Nobby: (speaking gibberish) Why thank you.
Jenkins: (adjusts tie) Wait, why did I decide to wear this suit to bed? (takes off the suit and puts on his wrestling outfit instead) Much better.
(At Narlene and Nobby’s shack, their sea mule brays off-screen)
Narlene: Oh, would you look at the time? It’s showtime, my good man.
Nobby: (excitedly speaking gibberish as he heads out, shaking the shack with each step)
Narlene: (wipes tear from eye) There goes a fine, strong gentleman.
(Back at Jenkins’ place, he rinses his mouth with mouthwash and spits it out)
Jenkins: All ready for the big day.
(Jenkins marches out of the house and heads to the Salty Spitoon. Cut to the bustling conversations at the Salty Spitoon)
Mo: So then I said, I’m not into men. I’m a lesbian!
Patron: Hahaha, what a story, Mo.
Jenkins: (opening the doors) Guess who’s here, everyone?
Civilian: (gasps) It’s him.
Jenkins: That’s right, y’all. That’s me!
Nobby: (shoving Jenkins out of the way) (speaks gibberish)
Civilian: (gasps) It’s Nobby!
Nobby: (speaking gibberish, signing the civilian’s arm with a pen)
Civilian: Wow, I didn’t even ask for an autograph! Thanks, Nobby!
Nobby: (speaking gibberish) You’re welcome.
Jenkins: (in awe) I’ve never seen a contestant be THIS popular.
Mo: Yeah, he’s pretty dang cool if I do say so myself. (to Nobby) Hey, can you sign my biceps?
Jenkins: (sighs)
(Fade to the wrestling tournament, where Reg is holding a microphone)
Reg: Welcome back to the annual Salty Spitoon wrestling tournament! This year, we’ve got: Old Man Jenkins!
(Applause and cheers from the audience)
Reg: Rrarrg!
(Lesser applause and cheers from the audience)
Reg: Okay, I think we all know what we’re waiting for. (dull) We also got Not Dead Tead, Johnny Krill, Grand Maul Granny, Harry the Health Hazard, Patrick Star.. for some reason… (excitedly) and don’t forget our new competitor… Nobby!
(Massive cheers and applause from the audience. Nobby bows)
Nobby: Thank you, thank you. (speaks gibberish)
Jenkins: Grr… he doesn’t know what’s comin’. (flexes bicep)
Narlene: (from audience) Woo! Let’s go, cuz!
Jenkins: (sighs) I have no audience. They’re all rooting for that young feller Nobby. (shakes head) That’s quitter talk! I’ll show them. I’ll show them all!
Reg: First up, Not Dead Ted and Nobby!
(Nobby and Ted step onto opposite sides of the ring. When the bell rings, Ted immediately bashes into Nobby, who blocks him with his muscular body. Ted crumbles into pieces, and the audience cheers)
Reg: That was our quickest round yet! It seems Nobby is even better than we thought!
Jenkins: No matter. That was just a fluke.
Reg: Next up: Old Man Jenkins and Grand Maul Granny!
Granny: Get ready to be Grand Maul Grannied all over the place!
(Jenkins and Granny step into the ring. When the bell rings, Granny and Jenkins have each other in a headlock. They each push against each other, and this goes on for some time. The audience starts yawning as this is getting quite boring. Eventually, though, Jenkins finds the right time to knock Granny’s teeth out, along with Granny herself.)
Reg: 7… 8… 9… 10! And that’s the round! Jenkins moves onto the next round. Round three: Patrick Star and Harry the Health Hazard! (hushed) We all know Harry will win, right? …right? (normal) Anyway, let’s begin.
(Patrick and Harry get into the ring, and the bell rings. This triggers Patrick to turn into an insane, tantrum-throwing monster. He starts spinning around in circles, and Harry tries to land a hit on him, but fails, and is sent into the corner of the ring)
Harry: Oh come on. I won’t let you embarrass me a second time!
(Harry charges towards Patrick, and manages to punch him in the crotch. This only makes Patrick angrier, however, and Patrick’s fist grows gigantic, landing a huge punch onto Harry, knocking him through the ceiling and leaving a hole. The crowd gasps, along with Reg, who is surprised.)
Reg: What a huge surprise! It appears that Patrick Star is the winner of this round!
(Crowd cheers)
Reg: Found four: Rrarrg and Johnny Krill!
(Rrarrg calms down Patrick with some jellyfish jelly on his stomach, and throws him back into the audience. Johnny gets into the ring along with Rrarrg)
Rrarrg: (instantly picks up Johnny when the bell rings) Rrrarrrararg! (this is for what happened in 2009!)
Johnny: I don’t even remember what happened in 2009- (gets roundhouse kicked into the other side of the ring)
(Johnny, now confused and angered, starts wrestling with Rrarrg. He starts throwing several punches at Rrarrg, who dodges them all)
Rrarrg: Grrr…. RRARARARARRRG! (YOU DESERVE THIS, CRETIN!)
Johnny: (sees that Rrrarg is now on fire) Uh-oh.
(Johnny gets knocked out of the ring, and flies out of the same ceiling hole that was created before. He disappears with a twinkle in the sky)
Reg: What’s up with all the insane knockouts lately? Someone putting steroids in the water supply? (chuckling) I’m kidding! Of course, Rrarrg wins this round.
(Audience cheers and applauds)
Reg: Now here’s when it gets interesting. Round five: Old Man Jenkins and Patrick Star!
Rrarrg: (rubbing Patrick’s shoulders) rrrarrarrg. (go get him, tiger.)
Patrick: Oh, I will. Oh that hits the spot. (wipes sweat off forehead) Welp, here goes something.
(Patrick jumps into the ring, and Jenkins walks in the ring. The starting bell rings, and Patrick once again goes into tantrum mode, angrily shouting gibberish and spinning in place. Jenkins isn't fazed by this, however, as he casually grabs Patrick’s leg and slams him into the ground. Patrick, also unfazed, is still in tantrum mode as he starts kicking all parts of his body while yelling “NO”. The audience tenses up as Jenkins gets knocked back by Patrick into the other side of the ring. Jenkins quickly gets back up, however, and lands a punch directly in Patrick’s stomach. Patrick clutches his stomach, and Jenkins comes in with the final blow, knocking him out on the spot)
Reg: 7… 8…. 9… and 10! Round over, everyone! Old Man Jenkins wins this round!
(Cheers and applause from the audience. Rrarrg hangs his head down, ashamed. He goes up to Patrick to rub more jelly on his stomach to calm him down)
Rrarrg: (taking Patrick backstage) rrrarrarrg (it's okay Patrick, I got this)
Patrick: Whuh? What happen?
Reg: And now for the penultimate round! It's Rrarrg vs… Nobby!
(The crowd cheers wildly. Rrarrg hears his name called out and rushes to the ring. Nobby enters the ring, waving at the crowd)
Rrarrg: rrarararg (I want a good, clean fight, you hear?)
Nobby: (speaking gibberish) No, not really.
Rrarrg: rarg? (huh?)
(Nobby instantly uppercuts right after the bell dings. Many of Rrarrg’s teeth fly right out of his mouth as they land on the floor, along with himself. As he tries to get back up, Rrarrg slips on his teeth and falls to the floor again. He gets back up again, this time successfully, but Nobby uses his horn nose to stab Rrarrg directly in the chest, and some squelching noises are heard as it cuts to the crowd wincing.)
Crowd: Ohhhh!
Patrick: Strawberry jam! Yummy…
Reg: Medic!
(An ambulance comes into the scene and crashes into Rrarrg, causing many bone breaking sounds to occur. The crowd is shown wincing again.)
Patrick: (pointing) That's a lot of bones…
Reg: (on phone) Yeah, and please make sure Rrarrg doesn't sue us, okay? We can't afford another lawsuit. Alright, bye. (hangs up; on mic) Sorry about all that, folks. I promise our tournaments don't get that… violent all the time. So yeah, Nobby wins this round, meaning that Old Man Jenkins bumps heads with… Nobby! Who. Will. WIN?!
(The crowd roars with applause and cheering. Jenkins and Nobby get into the ring, and gulp.)
Jenkins: (muttering) I hope I don't get turned into a bloody mess…
Nobby: (muttering in gibberish) Don't sue me please…
Reg: (rings bell) BEGIN!
(Jenkins and Nobby both freeze in place. Then, they jump on top of each other, with Jenkins beating Nobby from the top and Nobby munching on Jenkins’ body from the bottom)
Narlene: (in audience) I can’t watch! (covers her eyes with her hands, but slowly releases them)
(The two unravel from each other, and jump back to opposite sides of the ring. Nobby sharpens his horn nose, and Jenkins prepares for a ramming attack. Nobby scrapes the floor like a horse, neighs, and gallops into Jenkins, who jumps directly over Nobby in slow-motion fashion. Nobby’s horn nose pierces through the ring, and he runs into the crowd. Many piercing sounds and shrieks are heard as the camera turns to an empty wall)
Reg: (off-screen) WHAT IS WITH THE STABBING TODAY?! That’s it, I’m going on the run.
(Reg is heard exiting the building and speeding off with his boat)
Narrator: Two painful hours later…
(The scene fades into the Salty Spitoon, where everyone has left except for Jenkins, who is completely frozen in place)
Jenkins: I… I did not expect that to happen. (pacing) But more importantly, who won? Where’s my green beans?!
(He gets a text from Reg on his phone)
Jenkins: (reading text) “Hey Old J, I left your green beans on your doorstep. Be careful, it’s a lot of them. You won by default since Nobby was sent to prison for life endangerment. Have a good day, my good man.” WAHOO!! GREEN BEANS FOR LIFE!!
(Bubble transition to Jenkins walking back home, exhausted)
Jenkins: Phew, I’m glad I won. That Nobby feller could’ve killed me if he didn’t run into… literally… everyone else. (sighs) I think it’s about time I quit wrestling for good.
(Jenkins looks on his doorstep to see a small package)
Jenkins: Hmm, why is it so tiny?
(He opens up the package, and the screen fills with packages of green beans as the episode ends)
==Trivia==
*This episode is banned in several territories due to its implied gore content.
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