Clerks/Trailer transcripts

The Miramax Films logo plays, while Randal (Jeff Anderson) mimics the Jaws theme with his mouth. We then cut to a view of him swirling a potato chip around in salsa.
:Randal: Salsa shark! (Cut back to reveal him and Dante [Brian O'Halloran] on the counter.) We're gonna need a bigger boat!
Cut to Dante preparing to open Quick Stop Groceries for business.
:Hal Douglas: Throughout history, they have been a part of our American life. Men, and women, who have made it their mission to serve their fellow man. (As Dante buries his head in his arms) They've worked hard enough. Isn't it time they had their own movie? (Cut to the logo rising from the bottom of the screen, with a cash register noise) Clerks.
We then cut to Dante and Randal at the desk, and the music stops.
:Randal: This job would be great if it wasn't for the customers. (Cut to a man picking eggs out of a box, then back to the two.)
:Dante: Uh, I don't bother them and they don't bother me. (Cut to another customer pulling jars of milk out of the freezer, and then back to the two again.)
:Randal: I can do without the people in the video store.
:RST Video Customer: Do you have that one with that guy who was in that movie that was out last year?
:Dante: You should hear the barrage of stupid questions that I get.
:Quick Stop Customer 3: What do you mean there's no ice? You mean I have to drink this coffee hot?
:Randal: You'd feel a hell of a lot better if you just rip into the occasional customer.
Dante spits on a customer's face.
:Dante (VO): You're a clerk, paid to do your job. You can't just do anything you want while you're working!
The soundtrack changes, and we cut to a sign reading "TEMPORARILY CLOSED BE OPENED AFTER FIRST PERIOD."
:Customer: Hey, you open?
:Dante and Randal: NO!
More scenes of tomfoolery, including the guys playing hockey.
:Woman: What kind of convenience store do you run here?
The soundtrack restarts over the next couple shots, including of Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) hanging out outside the stores.
:Hal: Miramax Films presents...
Cut to under the counter.
:Caitlin (Lisa Spoonauer): Do you think anybody can see us down here?
:Dante: Why? Do you wanna have sex or somethin'?
:Caitlin: Uh! Can we?
The film's logo appears again.
:Hal: Clerks. Just because they serve you... doesn't mean, they like you.
:Dante: You hate people!
:Randal: But I love gatherings. Isn't that ironic?
Cut to a screen reading "WINNER! INTERNATIONAL CRITICS WEEK PRIZE 1994 CANNES FILM FESTIVAL | FILMMAKER'S TROPHY 1994 SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL," then the end of the trailer.
Category:Trailer transcripts