The Ultimate Video Game Rap Battle Remake

== Cast: ==
Atari ET as Swoldow EVGRB
7 Grand Dad as Dustin 
Ninjabread Man as Dani Frias
Mario’s Head (Mario Teaches Typing) as Raichous 
Bubsy (Bubsy 3D) as Swoldow EVGRB 
Clown Man (Megaman 8) as Dani Frias
Random Kid in the ad for Hey You Pikachu as Stark Media 
Lester the Unlikely as Swoldow EVGRB 
Ringmaster Ash and PETA (Pokemon Black and Blue) as Julian and Vlad 
BOSS (Mafia City) as Julian 
That shitty birthday cake song (Jet Set Radio Future) as Swoldow EVGRB 
Hunie Cam Studio as Swoldow EVGRB 
Desert Bus as Dani Frias
Shaquille O'Neal (Shaq Fu 1990) as RB38
Darth Maul (Star Wars Battlefront 2) as Julian
Protag and Anime Girls (Gal Gun) as Kamren The Person, VampireBre, and Totally Not Swoldow EVGRB 
Cats (Zero Wing) as Swoldow EVGRB
Knack/Ice Knack (Knack/Knack 2) as Julian 
Sonic 06 as Swoldow EVGRB 
Bennett Foddy (Getting Over It) as King Mewtwo 
== Lyrics ==
WELCOME TO THE BIGGEST GAMING BATTLE OF ALL TIME
….nah
THE FIRST RAPPERS WILL BE
ET
AND GRAND DAD
BEGIN!
=== Atari ET: ===
From AVGN to GASRB and now this series? Dicks...
Grand dad, to talk to people you…. Wait… EVERYONE SAYS YOU'RE A PRICK
Here’s one thing about your games, all your games are the same
This verse took less time to write then it did to make my game
I spit flame against this lame game who gets none of the fame
My ratings are equivalent to the number in your name
Did you eat too much spaghetti, cause you are big fatty
I was the renaissance of gaming, best call me Grand Daddy
=== 7 Grand Dad: ===
Shut up atari, I may be a carbon copy
But you can't beat Mario’s Head thrown on The Rescue of Dino and Hoppy
Guess what, you're FLEEEEEEEEEEN-stoned. 
And i'm in luck too. My PEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS boned.
I may be a toon-y, but you'll yabba-dabba-do me
Because I bet you'll never touch boobies
Than i'll beat you with my club until you're sent up to heaven
Since while you stay a laughingstock, Grand Dad’s always number…. 7
=== Ninjabread Man: ===
(silence)
Ah shit I shook the nunchuk to rap and it didn’t work
Data Design Interactive thinks creativity’s lame
So they made me by reskinning an already reskinned game
You wanna yabba-dabba-do me? Then suck on my gingernuts!
Do you really think you’ll beat me? Then you must be gingernuts!
I look like members of Ninja Gaiden that just got out of candyland
Do my three whole levels make my developers look like total fags?
(???: Nice verse you got there, can I have it?)
=== Mario’s Head: ===
You got a good joke for Mario? Get ready to move your fingors
Mario Teaches Typing up an actual good verse
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…… RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I'm too fly for you, and I don't need to say words
Say, imma hungry. You got any penis?
Imma press the backspace button like yeetus deletus
Educational platformers rarely get any hyping,
But i’m-a want to thank the voters for choosing Mario Teaches a-Typing
=== Bubsy 3D: ===
BACK FROM THE ISLE IT'S BUBSY HERE TO SEE
When i'll actually get a good battle, and not pit against crash by henry
Scooptity Poop, Wooptity Scoop. IT'S FUCKING BUBSY!
Fuck Mario 64, everybody fucking loves me
Now it’s time to say my well known catchphrase, bro
WOAH!
Because this whole system’s rigged, and we all know the riggers
For the past 8 years this country's been run by the golden x award
=== Clown Man: ===
Hey there you whore, you want a balloon?
Screw It! I'll be a licensed pedophile soon
I may look like i'm already a pushover, but please don't be weary
Cuz I'm the shittiest robot master in this entire fucking series 
Lemme reach into the ground and  grab your balls, bud
I'm an American stud, while Dr. Light is Elmer Fudd
And for christ sake, my game’s voice acting is more soothing on the ears
Than any verse or joke bubsy could make in 20 years
=== Hey You Pikachu Ad: ===
You gotta see this rap. I need witnesses if I could.
Time to listen to my verse. If only my family would… D: (WAT)
(No WWF) Stfu, mother.
Call you macho man (CUME ON MAH FACE, BRUDDER)
(Dude what are you doing with your life) Dude it's totally pikachu.
(Seriously dude?) This is what I get for being a weaboo
I'm just a child acting like this is the pinnacle of gaming
But i'm just talking to some mouse-thing for my entertainment
=== Lester the Unlikely: ===
(uouououo)
Yo it's the unlikeliest person here to take a victory
I'll swing on vines, and have Tikka suck mah meat
I run away against the gamer’s will LMAO dude that sucks
Turtles scare the living crap out of me, but you suck
Your verse just dragged on. You claim that patience is a virtue
But i'll use my wimpy kick in my attempt to slightly hurt you
Wash you all up on the island, none of you could even survive
Because the lot of you remind me of lester the unlikely 5
=== Pokemon: Black and Blue: ===
(Ringmaster Ash) I AM THE MAIN ANTAGONIST OF ANIMAL ABUSE
Eat you like a Miltank burger, McDonalds makes some nice food
I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT I SHOVE PIKACHU IN POKEBALLS
….seriously, PETA? I don't do that at all!
=== PETA: ===
It’s PETA here to beat ya, we like to lick animal’s skeeters
Feeding 2 birds with one scone when we beat up Lester and Pika
We're just like Team Plasma, because we're evil
By ruining childhoods, and convincing kids that they abuse weaviles.
=== Mafia City: ===
All these Level 1 Crooks are trying to best me?
Jokes on you. This Plant Gang Boss is Level 50
Lester’s washed up, caught too many waves
While i'm chilling in my mansion with maxed out babe
Despite what's shown in the advertisements
I have minimal strategy, and maximum tits
No matter what, i'll steal this win, even if I didn't rehearse.
That's how Mafia works.
=== Birthday Cake (Jet Set Radio Future): ===
EXTER SHUGAR! This battle makes me EXSIR SALTY!
While those bars were more EXTER THAN OIL AND MSG!
I don't even know what MSG means
But I'm the result of a pissed mom, and Dunkey’s memes
SHUT UP, E LEMME EEEE
GVGGGHVG BON APPETEEEEET
SHADDAHP END LEH ME EEEEAT
U NO MAH LOVE IS SWEEEEEEEEET
=== Hunie Cam Studio: ===
Yo, in this game you play as a pimp
Who makes millions of dollars off of filming girls strip
I mean, a puzzle minigame used to be in this
But they stopped that so Huniepop can be 80 times more fanservice
it's like the developers wanted to make a game
mimicking Tyga’s music videos but on roids and cocaine
You're just a dumb bunie, I get all the munie
Time to go back to my land of milk and hunies 
=== Desert Bus: ===
In a position like this, you'd rather play Big Riggs
Can someone stop the bus or speed up? I need to take a piss.
So unless you and your others are starving from my rhyme-ies
Go to the back of the bus and shut up, blimey
Smoke, Mirrors, and 8 hours? I have the cheapest fear tactics, fellers
To make anyone who bought this pissed off at Penn and Teller
Actual road trips across the desert seem less sus
Because I'm about to run you over with….. MY BUS
=== Shaq Fu: ===
Might as well call me Big Shaq cuz i'm basically a meme.
Shaq Fu? No, not the one from 2018
oof. It appears I warped to a dimension, known as the nineties
Where furries want to do “serious damage to my body”
This WAS gonna be about basketball, but i made them scrap that
Just cuz I really wanted to be in mortal kombat
I'll be dropping an album to celebrate this
Reviewer: Shaq Fu is a complete atrocity
=== Shaq: ===
Shit
=== Darth Maul (Battlefront 2): ===
Here comes a waste of a franchise marked as gaming’s biggest sin
I just paid ten dollars for this loot crate that lets me instantly win
The biggest pay-to-play to ever grace EA
With voice acting somehow half as bad as every bar you say
So hop in my messy lag-fest and you'll suddenly end up dead
And I may have started with 4 planets, but it's at least more than Ninjabread
I'm the best character in this. No doubt you'll be annoy- (gets shot)
CRAP I'M DEAD! lol now you have to play as a droid
=== Gal Gun: ===
=== Protagonist: ===
Between the worlds worst concept, and an overflow of waifus
If you play this, you're a weeb with literally no social life, ooo
I strictly use this gun on girls, but here's what happens to u
When i release the trigger and go pew pew pew
=== Girl A: ===
Owo protag is kawaii while you didn't rehearse
=== Girl B: ===
I bet they used Nekobot to write this whole verse 
=== Girl A: ===
We're the best, fugin baka. Please stop hatin
=== Girl B: ===
Now go check out our sequel that somehow involves satan 
=== Cats (Zero Wing): ===
I'll make your girls all tremble, so interfere if you must
Because you all about that treble, CUZ ALL THEIR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
May be a generic space villain, but Maul is plainly pitiful
Since anyone captaining Battlefront would only dream HE GET SIGNAL
You won't know WHAT HAPPEN, once you step to the final boss
You just make reviewers rage until their SCREEN TURN OFF
You can't rhyme, make your time! It's time for termination!
Since you've all failed verbally against an error in translation
=== Knack Series: ===
=== Knack: ===
Yo Knack is back, and i'm back in black
Because Shaq is wack and he smells like crap
Compared to my jumping cutscenes, Bubsy’s platforming won't suffice
Time to bring out my second form because ICE IS…. good.
=== Ice Knack: ===
Oh hi there you weebs, ICE TO MEET YOU
Cats, I somehow have a worse alien story then you do
It's easy for me to win. All you have to do
Is repeatedly mash buttons until you beat Knack 2
=== Sonic 06: ===
=== Sonic: ===
With da money, you can buy a better verse or my shoes
And judging by how much you stink I can see why you’re number 2
You haven’t got a knack for rapping, your lines really bore me
Aw fuck, Elise just makes me so horny
=== Elise: ===
Eugh Sonic, what the heck, we’re rapping, not raping
There’s no way knack’ll come back from all this verbal vaping
Now here is a scene that will make PETA lose it...
=== Sonic: ===
Elise? (Elise) Yea….? (Sonic) ....wanna kiss?
=== Getting Over It: ===
Ice T said it best. You're the only ones to blame.
“Don't hate the player, hate the shitty game.”
So let's just make it quick. You can't get over this diss
When I have millions of inspirational quotes that just make you more pissed.
this battles and uphill mountain climb of unfunny jokes
But soon you'll be falling back down due to my clunky controls 
Though Elise has gained fame with the furry romances she's involved in
I've made millions rage with just a single hammer and a cauldron 
I bet you'd switch to Sexy Hiking after the verse you're witnessing 
I'm the king of shitty titles. Flex on you with my gold cauldron bling.
Shove my hammer up your ass, prepare you to frown 
When you're jumpscared by some bats and forced to go all the way down 
Lmao dude that sucks. Real punch in the gut
You can try harder next April Fools after you wait 12 months 
Since now I've gotten to the top, and I'm feeling mighty fine 
=== Swoldow: ===
SHIT THIS GAME FORBIDS ME FROM RECORDING THE FINAL LINE