One Child Too Many

This is the second episode of Patrick's Playground.
(Episode starts with Patrick Jr. playing on his Switch)
Patrick Jr.: Take that, zombie! (the zombie dies)
Patrick: Careful, son, you don't wanna die to those zombies.
Patrick Jr.: That was the only one, dad.
Patrick: Oh. Anyway, I'll be leaving for an uhh… business trip. So you'll have a babysitter.
Patrick Jr. I'm not furniture!
Patrick: I know you aren't, but I had to find one for you anyway. (He hears a car stop) That's him, goodbye now!
Patrick Jr.: Daddy, wait...! (he had already left) Dang it.
Squidward: So, let's get this over with. I’m Squidward, your babysitter. And I'm here to sit on yo- I MEAN… take care of you while your father is gone.
Patrick Jr.: Yay…
Squidward: So, are we gonna sit around all day or actually do something?
Patrick Jr.: How about... 
(Cut to Squidward and PJR playing Minecraft on the Switch)
Squidward: How do you chop wood again?
Patrick Jr.: You hold ZR… 
Squidward: Oh, got it. Dang it, died again!
Patrick Jr.: Maybe don’t fall into that giant ravine again.
Squidward: (grumbles)
Patrick Jr.: Yeah this isn't working out. Let's try something else.
Squidward: I got an idea. How about a little clarinet solo? (starts playing his clarinet, and PJR covers his nonexistent ears)
Patrick Jr.: Stop playing that horrid music!
Squidward: (stops) What do you mean it's horrid? I've been practicing for over 30 years!
Patrick Jr.: Damn you're old!
Squidward: Wh- no I'm not old! 60 is old! Not 33!
Patrick Jr.: Whatever. I'm hungry. What is there to eat?
Squidward: Let's see here… (opens sand fridge) It's all just sand, no real food. Lemme cook something legit.
(25-30 minutes later…)
Squidward: Viola! Casserole a la Squidward! (a somewhat disgusting-looking dish is shown)
Patrick Jr.: Ew. Whatever, I'm starving! (eats the dish) What's in this thing?
Squidward: Ask Squidipedia. I used one of their recipes.
Patrick Jr.: (spits out pulp) Pulp?! Why would there be pulp in a casserole?
Squidward: It gives it more flavor.
Patrick Jr.: Again, ew. Not hungry anymore, you can have the rest. (throws the dish in Squidward's face)
Squidward: Le ouch! That hurt! (throws the dish back at him, and they start having a food fight)
(Cut to Patrick eating ice cream at Dairy Scream)
Patrick: Mmmmm, this ice cream is heavenly. Welp, my business trip is over. Time to check on the kid.
(Patrick has arrived home)
Patrick: What in the-
(The two are done with their food fight, and their faces are covered with sand and slime)
Squidward: It's all fun and games, Patrick.
Patrick Jr.: Yeah, it was fun.
Patrick: Ok, good. You did a good job, Squidward, here's your payment (hands him 20 dollars)
Squidward: Wow, thanks. Call me when you need me to babysit again.
Patrick Jr.: (burps out a tentacle, causing Squidward to get wide-eyed, ending the episode)
Category:2019
Category:Transcripts
Category:Patrick's Playground
Category:Episodes written by FireMatch
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:2019 Episodes
Category:2019 Transcripts
Category:2010s