The Flash/Transcript

== Main Film ==
Sandwich Guy: Yeah, thank you, you too. Good morning! What can I get you?
Barry Allen: Where's curly hair lady?
Sandwich Guy: Sarah? She's out sick, or at least that's what she says.
Barry Allen: Oh.
Sandwich Guy: She's got a new boyfriend. What can I get you?
Barry Allen: Usually, it's my usual and she has it ready 'cause I'm usually late.
Sandwich Guy: Well, don't keep me in suspense...
Barry Allen: It's a PB and RHC on a roll.
Sandwich Guy: Okay, so "PB" would be Peanut Butter, I'm assuming?
Barry Allen: Yes! "BR", Bananas, Rasins, "H", Honey, "C", Cheese, on a roll.
Sandwich Guy: Aren't you blessed with a fast metabolism? What, are you running a marathon or something?
Barry Allen: Oh--
Sandwich Guy: Y'know, my sister ran a marathon once, God rest her soul. She's not dead, she's just exhausted. We get it, Sharon! You ran. But everyone has to work in the morning?
Barry Allen: Yeah, I had to go to work three minutes ago! And, sorry, I'm in sort of a rush for the sandwich.
Sandwich Guy: You can't... rush a good sandwich, dude.
Barry Allen: Alfred, really can't talk.
Alfred Pennyworth: Good morning, Mr. Allen.
Barry Allen: No! I'm late! And I'm starving, and Curly Hair Girl isn't here, her name is Sarah and she has a boyfriend.
Alfred Pennyworth: We have a... situation at Gotham General. A robbery gone wrong.
Barry Allen: Is it-- It is the middle of the morning! Why is our Bat friend even awake?! Call Superman!
Alfred Pennyworth: That was my first thought. Sadly, he's otherwise engaged.
Barry Allen: Classic! What about Diana?
Alfred Pennyworth: My other first thought. Rather annoyingly, she's not picking up.
Barry Allen: Well how many first thoughts, exactly, did you have before you first thought of me?
Sandwich Guy: Never about her, this is about you...
Barry Allen: Hi! Is my sandwich rea--?
Sandwich Guy: I learned my lesson on the boat last year, the stuff my sister comes out with when she's drunk... Personal comments about my Mom's friends -- well, which I think is honestly what I wanna say about her.
Teenage Fan 1: Oh, my God! Flash!
Barry Allen: Hi.
Teenage Fan 1: I love you!
Barry Allen: Thank you! You seem very nice, also.
Teenage Fan 1: Oh, my god!
Alfred Pennyworth: Patching you in to Mr. Wayne!
Barry Allen: No, please don't! Um--
Teenage Fan 1: Oh, my god!
Barry Allen: Sorry if this sounds weird, but a-- are you actively eating that candy bar?! M- Maybe you could throw it to me! In the name of justice!
Batman (Ben Affleck): I need you here now, Barry.
Barry Allen: Hi, Bruce, yes, I'm... coming.
Barry Allen: Bruce, this is a huge mess! Why aren't you here?!
Barry Allen: Bruce, why does it sound like you're fleeing the scene?
Affleck-Batman: Falcone's idiot kid decided to try and play in the big leagues. Put a crew together and broke into the lab at Gotham General, stole a highly deadly virus. I intercepted them but they blasted their way out. You can handle the hospital, Barry. Somebody has to save the rest of the world, so I was gonna do that, if you don't mind.
Barry Allen: Sounds about right, Bruce.
Barry Allen: "Thanks for saving me from the sinkhole, Flash!"
Alfred Pennyworth: Barry! Gas and water pipes ruptured, in the basement.
Barry Allen: Right. On it!
Alfred Pennyworth: If my calculations are correct, and history will prove they usually are, the foundational damage is about to cause the collapse of the East Wing.
Barry Allen: East Wing's fine!
[The nurse, panicking, picks up a baby and cradles it close.]
Barry Allen: It's good, it's just, my speed is lagging. I'm running on empty, Alfred.
[A low rumble starts.]
Barry Allen: You hear that? That's my stomach!
Barry Allen: No, no! It's the collapse of the East Wing!
Alfred Pennyworth: Barry, 70th floor! With the... babies!
Barry Allen: No...
Alfred Pennyworth: Mister Allen, you’ve made me very proud, and a lot of mothers very happy.
Barry Allen: I understand that these events can be psychologically scarring! You should seek the services of a mental health professional, the Justice League is... not very good at that part yet. Trust me.
Alberto Falcone: Shake him off!
Alfred Pennyworth: If that briefcase falls into the water, it could wipe out half of Gotham by lunchtime!
Alberto Falcone: Oh, please don't drop me! Oh, god no, please, no!
Wonder Woman: Sorry I'm late!
[Wonder Woman pulls Batman and Falcone up.]
Wonder Woman: Watch your step.
Affleck-Batman: Hi!
Wonder Woman: Hey.
[The Flash runs up.]
Wonder Woman: Nice suit! Looking good, Flash.
Barry Allen: Well, I-- thank... it--
Wonder Woman: And you... Are welcome.
Affleck-Batman: My ego's far too big to say "Thank you" to someone else.
Wonder Woman: Hm.
[Batman's face falls and he notices the lasso still wrapped around his wrist. He begins untangling it, panicked.]
Affleck-Batman: I developed this all-powerful persona to compensate for my childhood trauma.
Alberto Falcone: I, too, have childhood trauma!
Wonder Woman: The Lasso of Truth. Never gets old!
Affleck-Batman: ...I'd do a lot better just giving my money away, because if I really wanted to end crime, I should end poverty and--
Barry Allen: I know sex exists, I've just never experienced it. Damn.
Wonder Woman: Well... I have to run. Always a pleasure.
Barry Allen: The sex thing was a metaphor! For... gothic literature-- There was no way to recover from that!
Affleck-Batman: Just let it go.
Barry Allen: Well, I-- I'd really love to stay and clean up more mess but this little superhero needs his breakfast.
Affleck-Batman: Goodbye, Flash.
Barry Allen: Yeah. Bye, Batman!
Alfred Pennyworth: Well done, Mr. Wayne!
[Alberto begins to run away. Batman blindly tosses a Batarang.]
Alfred Pennyworth: Will you be home for breakfast, sir?
[It hits Alberto in the back of the head. He collapses as the Flying Fox descends.]
Affleck-Batman: Yes, I think so.
Sandwich Guy: ...this was never about her, this is about you! You have to stop living in the past. Now was that fast enough for you?
Albert Desmond: Well, look who's here.
Barry Allen: Shut up, Albert!
Patty Spivot: Every day. I don't know how you do it, Barry!
Albert Desmond: What'd you, like, crawl here, bro?
Barry Allen: Is he mad?
Patty Spivot: Well, you're getting fired.
Albert Desmond: You're getting murdered.
David Singh: Oh! No, no, no! Let me guess: Your alarm clock didn't go off! Oh, your dog ate your alarm clock! Your alarm clock ate your keys. Your keys' grandmother died... And they need a personal day!
Barry Allen: Well, it was none of those things...
David Singh: What was it this time, Barry?
Barry Allen: It was, um, something else that was far less outlandish! And I know I missed the meeting, but I'd still really like to-- to-- to present these case files for potential review. I think we rushed these cases, we need to reopen them--
David Singh: Oh, "rushed"? We got a backlog six months deep and you want us to move slower? You need to focus your motion. Do the work, close the case, move on! You have a lot of potential, Barry. You shouldn't still be getting coffee after all these years.
Barry Allen: You're right. That's-- That's true.
David Singh: Go get me a coffee.
[Barry laughs. David doesn't.]
Barry Allen: ...two sugars?
David Singh: Oh, yeah.
Barry Allen: Yeah.
Patty Spivot: You're gonna love this.
David Singh: ...very satisfied with the ruling in the Johnson case. The evidence our lab analyzed was more than sufficient to be conclusive.
Barry Allen: I was still working that evidence!
David Singh: ...because of the dilligence, hard work, and focus...
Patty Spivot: Barry was still working on that evidence!
Albert Desmond: I think if it were up to you, everybody'd still be scraping Ted Bundy's molars.
Barry Allen: You know what? I'm so happy you find this all so hilarious, but we are dealing with real people's lives, people's families, and I don't think you can grasp the gravity of that, so why don't you leave me alone--?!
Iris West: Barry Allen?
Barry Allen: Iris West! You... know my full name also.
Iris West: Yes, from school.
Albert Desmond: Aw, Barry, you didn't tell us you had a friend from school!
Patty Spivot: We actually didn't know that Barry had a friend!
Albert Desmond: Yeah, what does that make you now, uh, one?
Patty Spivot: One.
Barry Allen: Ha ha! You guys! Uh, bye, you guys.
Patty Spivot: Okay! Oh, my God, that was just--
Barry Allen: Um... They're not really my friends, they're my work friends.
Iris West: So you work here?
Barry Allen: Yes, I do!
Iris West: God, it's been a long time, huh?
Barry Allen: Mm-hm.
I feel like we saw each other like a few years ago, right?
No, because... we haven't seen each other since...
college.
Ah.
Maybe I was just
thinking about you.
Well, I'm really glad
I ran into you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Your father's appeal
is tomorrow, right?
Yeah. How...
Sorry, how do
you know about that?
I'm covering it for the paper.
Oh.
How is he holding up?
Um...
Are you asking for the paper?
- No, I'm asking as a friend.
- Oh.
Although I'm sure the public
would want to know as well.
Well... my only official comment is that my dad is innocent.
252
00:17:42,185 --> 00:17:42,977
Right. I mean, no one... would want to believe that their father killed their mother.
What do you mean, "believe"? My dad shouldn't be in jail. My mom should be alive.
It's not about what I believe.
- It's about what the truth is.
- Right. No, yes, that's...
Oh, my God. That's what I meant.
Right.
Sorry, I have no official
comment at this time.
You have a collect call from the Iron Heights Penitentiary.
- Do you wish to accept?
- Yes.
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Barry.
- How ya doing?
- I'm fine.
266
00:18:36,404 --> 00:18:38,736
- You getting out much?
- Yeah.
Well, no. Uh, no.
But I, um, I ran into an old college friend... Iris West, today.
Didn't you have
a monster crush on her?
Well, she have a boyfriend?
- Why don't you ask her out?
- Dad, I, um...
I had a friend run the old security
camera footage from the store...
through this new program
he's developed.
And it's crystal clear now.
It's just...
you never look up, Dad.
You can't see your face.
So, without new evidence to support your alibi... we're just gonna need to start 
thinking about the next appeal.
No, uh-uh. You need to stop
worrying about your old man. Do that, you might actually have time for a girlfriend.
But Dad, I don't want...
We've done this before.
This was a last-ditch effort...
and we'll go through
the motions tomorrow.
I'm okay, really.
You know, sometimes I even think
it's probably easier for me to be in here than out there... without her.
'Cause this way, I can imagine she's alive... out there living her life.
Barry? Barry?
You there?
Yeah, I'm here, Dad.
Hey, remember that sauce
she'd make on Sundays?
The whole house would
smell like basil, tomatoes.
And she'd put on my sweats
and start singing.
Yeah, what was that song?
I loved that song.
Remember that part.
It's not fair.
What's not fair, Monkey?
This question is stupid.
How many calculations can you think of with an answer of 24?
There are a bajillion answers. How am I supposed to fit them all?
You are right. There are a bajillion answers to this question.
Not every problem has a solution. Sometimes you just have to let go.
Give your brain a rest and help
me make the pasta. Come on.
No.
Henry?
I need you to do me a favor.
- I don't do favors.
- Okay.
Barry needs you
to do him a favor.
Oh, Barry! Yeah, anything.
I need another can of tomatoes.
You have a can of tomatoes.
I need another one.
I thought you guys went to the store this morning.
But I forgot the tomatoes.
This looks way more fun.
Let's just let Barry go to the store.
You drive, right, Squirm?
- What? No.
- Getting so big.
You can do anything. Look at ya.
You're getting gray, actually.
- Green can, not the blue one, okay?
- Got it.
Blue can,
not the green one, right?
- No! Green can, not the blue one.
- What?
Oh, God.
She's gonna start singing. Run!
Run, Barry!
I love you, Monkey.
I love you more.
I loved you first.
Nora?
Barry!
Henry Allen: Barry! Barry! Call 911 now!
Henry Allen: Baby? Barry? Don't worry about tomorrow. We always knew it was a long shot--
Barry Allen: Dad?
Robotic Voice: Your call with Iron Heights Penitentiary has been terminated.
Sandwich Guy: Was that fast enough for you?
Bruce Wayne (Affleck): So you're saying you went back in time? Like in Pozharnov?
Barry Allen: Yeah! Like in Pozharnov, except the-- Pozharnov was a second. This time I went back a whole day.
Bruce Wayne (Affleck): So let's imagine that it is, in fact, possible for you to run faster than the speed of light and, in so doing, travel back in time... it still would be wildly irresponsible.
Barry Allen: I knew you were gonna say that.
Bruce Wayne (Affleck): Yes, because, Barry, if you were to go into the past, any interaction you have with your parents or yourself, you step on the wrong blade of grass, you have no idea what the consequences to that could be!
Barry Allen: No, I know -- the Butterfly Effect, right?
Bruce Wayne (Affleck): Yes.
Barry Allen: I get it. But Bruce, I could fix things.
Bruce Wayne (Affleck): You could also destroy everything.
Barry Allen: I could save her. I could save both of them, I... I could save your parents.
Bruce Wayne (Affleck): Barry, these scars we have make us who we are. We're not meant to go back and fix them. And there's nothing broken with you that needs to be fixed. Take it from an old guy who's made a lot of mistakes: Don't outlive your past. Live your life. And don't let your tragedy define you.
Barry Allen: What if it's supposed to define me? Your tragedy made you a hero.
Bruce Wayne (Affleck): It also made me alone.
Barry Allen: We could hang out. Do you wanna get a-- A bite? I-- I'm still hungry...
Bruce Wayne: Not this time. Maybe some other time.
Barry Allen: Yeah.
Nice ride.
You have fancy friends.
Yeah, it was an Uber.
Exec.
Look, Iris, I really can't
talk about the case at all.
I'm not here as a reporter.
Can we talk?
- Come on in.
I'm not gonna lie. It's a lot
tidier in here than I expected.
- Yeah? Yeah, well, um...
- Yeah.
404
00:28:08,074 --> 00:28:10,538
I'm a pretty tidy person.
- Can I offer you a drink?
- Sure.
I'll take a beer.
Hmm.
Beers, beers, beers.
I keep 'em in my fridge.
Thanks.
Sure.
Look, I feel really bad about earlier. I should've been more sensitive.
And, um, I probably could've been less sensitive.
I mean, I can't imagine what you've been through. 
It's like you lost both parents in one day.
I did.
I lost my mom to a tragedy, and I lost my dad to the failures of the justice system.
Is that why you got into criminal forensics?
To try and fix the system?
Yeah.
Yeah, to fix it.
There's gotta be a way to fix it, right?
I mean, that's kinda why I got into journalism, too.
I could make it right if I could just go back somehow and warn them without them
knowing that I'd warned them.
I... thinking like that's
gonna... ...drive you crazy.
"If I could just
go back in time...
"and stop the guy
who did it." It's...
No, I can't do that, 'cause
that's way too much interaction.
My dad wasn't even at home.
My mom sent him
to go get a can of tomatoes.
I think whoever broke into
the house thought it was empty.
And then my mom was in there with the knife in her hand and things went bad,
just this absurd chain of events.
And it's like, this footage should've
finally supported my dad's alibi.
But instead... three lives ruined for a can of tomatoes.
Oh, my God.
What?
Well, that could be it.
If my mom doesn't forget
the tomatoes in the first place, then he never leaves and she never dies.
No one would even have to see me.
Bruce said no interaction.
This is no interaction.
This is just quick in, quick out, back to the present, like I was never even there.
That's how I fix it.
Oh, my God, Iris.
Hmm?
Thank you, so much.
- This has been great.
- Oh.
Um... I'm sorry.
I... I have to leave.
Okay. Right.
- Uh...
I had a really great time, by the way. We should do this again.
Wonder Woman: Kal-El, Son of Krypton!
Arthur Curry: This is a bad idea.
Bruce Wayne (Affleck): So, you're fast...
Your father is a murderer!
Call 911 now!
...now!
...now!
Barry Allen: Hi, Mom. Don't forget the tomatoes. See you soon...
Barry Allen: Please work...!
♪ Happy Birthday, dear... ♪
Happy Birthday, Barry.
- Go, Barry, hurry up.
- Go!
Congratulations
to the class of 2013!
I love you so much.
Monkey!
What are you wearing?
Is that Barry? And he's early?
What universe is this?
You've cut your hair.
Now you can see your eyes.
- You look terrible.
- Henry!
- You look old.
- You look beautiful, baby.
What are they doing to you
over there?
Leave him alone. He's perfect.
Come here.
I love you so much.
I love you, too.
I love you more.
I loved you first.
Go take a shower and change.
You smell like a boot.
Go, go, go.
"Old," seriously?
Well, no, I mean like mature.
He's at that age, he wants to look old.
He, you know, gets into bars that way.
How can I help?
Mm. Hey, Mom, how was your day?
How was your month,
or your last 18 years?
Or that's a weird question... 'cause I was here.
But obviously, we share those memories together.
Or I don't know, maybe we could make some new memories.
Like we could go to the aquarium, or the circus, or to the park and you
could push me on a swing.
That's also weird because I'm an adult now,so I'd probably motivate
my own motion on a swing.
So, how was it this week?
How's school?
At school was... is good.
- Mm.
- School's been great.
I've just been working really hard there on my... studies.
Did you ask out that girl from econ? I know freshman year is about going out, meeting people, okay?
Exploring things.
Experimenting.
But you have to be very careful.
Oh, shit.
Barry Allen: I... have to SHIT! Outside...
[No sooner does he disappear from his parents' sight, he goes supersonic and immediately arrives outside, tackling younger Barry with a flash of lightning. His past self drops a bunch of clothes. Older Barry grabs the undies, puts them over his face as a mask and begins interrogating younger Barry, who's screaming muffledly with his doppelganger's hand on his mouth].
Barry 2: Help!
Barry 1: Shh! Why are you here? What year is it?
[Instrad of answering, the younger Allen reaches for the undie-mask of his older self].
Barry 1: No, no, no...
[And then he rips it off... The two Barrys stare at each other in confusion and fear].
Barry 2: That's my face. You stole my face! I think I'm having a mushroom flashback! Is that a thing?!
Barry 1: How old are you?
Barry 2: E--Eighteen...
[He immediately passes out].
=== ... ===
[Cut to Barry's room inside the house. Younger Barry has now listened to the older Barry's story. A slow look of realization combined with certain excitement dawns on his face].
Barry 2: Whoa. This is mad trippy! So we're, like, in the future?
Barry 1: No, wait, this is not trippy, dude. This is catastrophic and no, we're not in the future. I was supposed to be back in the present, but I'm still in the past and there's not supposed to be two of me. You and I are not supposed to be occupying the same reality at all, let alone interacting...
Barry 2: I just can't believe I'm a superhero who time travels, that, like--
Barry 1: No, no, no! You are not anything, which is good! You don’t wanna be a superhero. It’s scary and I get, uh, bug splatter in my teeth all the time…
Barry 2: Awesome. Hey, do the thing again.
Barry 1: No. We don't have time.
Barry 2: Mooooom!
Barry 1: Shhh! What are you doing, you're gonna tattle now?!
Barry 2: Do the thing!
Barry 1: Fine.
[Older Barry goes super fast and assembles a pillow tent over younger Barry's head. The 2013 self laughs, overjoyed].
Barry 1: Happy?
Barry 2: Yeah! Alright, now-- Now undo it!
[Annoyed, older Barry triggers super speed again and begins disassembling the pillow tent haphazardly. Whlist doing it, his attention is caught by the photos of his younger self and the parents - happy together, unlike him. And then he looks at a dartboard, which has his favorite plushie - Monkey - pinned to it. A slight flash of anger can be seen Barry's sight lingers on the dartboard for a while, then he finishes with the pillows. When he snaps out of superspeed, we see he's gagged Barry 2's mouth with some duct tape. The doppelganger rips it off, but doesn't look offended].
Barry 2: Ow.
[Nora speaks up from the living room].
Nora Allen: Barry, are you OK up there?
Barry 1 & 2: We're fine!... I'm fine!
Nora Allen: OK, Monkey.
[Barry 2 laughs at the sync].
Barry 2: So, do you have, like, a plane that goes underwater? Or a boat that can fly?
[Older Barry covers his face with his hand, probably close to getting migrane].
Barry 2: How old are you like, 40?
Barry 1: OK, you don't stop talking. It's not charming. It's abrasive, and exhausting. And oh my God, I am starting to realize what people mean... Just... do me a favor and promise me that meeting me isn't gonna screw up space-time.
Barry 2: Broski... [He then puts his palm on his older self's shoulder in a reassuring gesture] I got you.
[Barry 1 looks at him with absolute terror].
Barry 1: Shit, I'm in so much trouble.
Barry 2: What do you mean?
[He starts desperately circling around his younger self, trying to come up with something].
Barry 1: I could drug you... Yeah, I could drug you, and then you'd pass out, you'd wake up, and you'd forget that anything ever happened. And it wouldn't be wrong, right? Because you're me.
Barry 2: No! I mean we- we shouldn't... Uh!- Please don't... d-drug me.
Barry 1: No.
Barry 2: No, because here's the thing, and I thought about it before. I don't wanna be drugged. But I'm sure we can think of another way.
[Older Barry turns his back on him, trying to focus].
Barry 2: Let's put on our Barry thinking caps...
[As he continues speaking, his future version's aggravation increases, and his fist is shaking].
Barry 2: ... and think of a different solution for- for memory loss. Also, I'm- I'm a green belt in the Capoeira, and I have extensively studied wrestler, and I could go frickin' lunatic on you. Besides, I have a date tonight-
[The air sizzles once again as time nearly freezes. Fuming, Barry 1 raises his fist, bolts crackling all around him.]
Barry 1: OK... How hard do you have to hit someone to make them forget stuff? If I hit you in the past, will it hurt me in the future?...
[Then, a realization hits him and he deactivates his powers, snapping back to real time. He also withdraws his fist, which was inches away from Barry 2's face].
Barry 1: Wait. You say you have a date tonight?
Barry 2: Yeah. Wait, what were you doing?...
Barry 1: Uh, nothing. Who's your date with?
Barry 2: This super babe in my econ class...
[Barry 1 is staggered].
Barry 1: Iris West?
Barry 2: Oh my God. Do we marry her?
Barry 1: You're going on a date with her tonight?
Barry 2: That's why I need Mom to do my laundry.
Barry 1: You don't even do your own laundry?
Barry 2: Do you?
[This armor-piercing response shuts future Barry up.]
Barry 1: OK. You know what? I'm actually gonna go.
Barry 2: What do you mean?
Barry 1: Enjoy your life. Do you. Change literally nothing. Um, I'll see you again never.
[He turns to the door to exit the room.]
Barry 2: I have a few more questions, though... We have so much to learn from each other... [A storm suddenly rumbles outside] Oh, great. You're leaving me, and now the storm's gonna ruin my date. 
[Another realization dawns over future Barry.]
Barry 1: What day is it today?
[He walks to the window, staring blankly at the precipitation outside, as his younger self tries to figure out the date].
Barry 2: Uh... Uh... Sunday?
Barry 1: No, the date.
[Barry checks the date],
Barry 2: September 29th.
Barry 1: Shit... The storm... This is the day.
Barry 2: What day?
Barry 1: The day I get my powers. The day you get your powers. 
Barry 2: Powers?... 
Barry 1: OK, listen. [He begins pacing around the room again] I can't tell you why I traveled back in time and I can't tell you what I changed, but essentially, in my version of reality, I ended up interning at the Central City Crime Lab in my freshman year, and that's where it happened. Well, happens. Tonight, September 29th, the accident that gives me my powers. And if you're not there in... [Checks watch]... 30 minutes, then you don't get the powers. Which means I don't get the powers, maybe? And then, that would mean that I lose my way of getting back in time in the first place, and then I have literally no idea what happens.
[He stops].
Barry 2: POWERS?! [He cackles excitedly] Wait. But what about our date tonight?... She might be our future wife.
[The older Allen walks up to him and grabs him by the shoulders, exasperated].
Barry 1: There might not be a future if you don't come with me... right now!
[Cut to a dark and rainy shot of the downtown Central City as both Allens approach the Crime Lab. Barry 1 stops before the door.]
Barry 1: Eight minutes.
Barry 2: How are we gonna get inside... What are you doing?
Barry 1: Would you stop whining?
[Old Barry bride-carries his younger self, with the intent of phasing them both through the door].
Barry 1: This is gonna feel weird.
[Upon increased vibration, both Barry's molecules pass through the door.
[When inside, the older Allen lets the younger one go and checks the perimeter].
Barry 2: We walk through the door.
Barry 1: Shhh! Yes, it's- it's OK, it's called phasing.
[They sneakily sneak around the hall's corner].
Barry 2: I love phasing.
[They see the last officers leaving the place].
Barry 1: Uh-huh. Everybody moves...
[They sneak into the lab room, with one more phasing through the glass door].
Barry 1: Well, this is it.
[He takes Barry 2 to a chair before a shelf of chemicals].
Barry 1: This is where I was sitting... And, actually, let me take this for you... [He removes young Barry's coat].
Barry 2: Thank you...
Barry 1: OK, I had just opened those windows...
[He opens them super fast].
Barry 2: To clear out the fumes... Right around now. And I was sitting in that chair... [He makes Barry 2 take a seat] and I was right under this shelf of chemicals, and that's when the lightning hits.
[Barry 2 stands up nervously].
Barry 2: Wait. I get hit by lightning?
Barry 1: No, no, no. You don't get hit by lightning. [He makes him sit down again].
Barry 2: OK, 'cause for a second I thought you said....
Barry 1: The lightning hits the chemicals... Which then you get bathed in, and that's what electrocutes you.
Barry 2: OK, but I don't wanna be electrocuted, though.
Barry 1: Sit down.
[He pushes him onto the chair and tries to keep him there].
Barry 1: No, you sit down! I already have the powers!
Barry 2: You already have the powers?!
Barry 1: Exactly!
Barry 2: I am not getting struck by LIGHTINIIII-
[As if on cue, a giant bolt of blue lightning sweeps through the window, meshes with the chemicals and runs through both Barry 1 and Barry 2. One of the older Allen's teeth dramatically and grotesquely falls out, landing in the younger Allen's mouth. Then the lightning ceases as both speedsters fall on the ground. The wound on Barry 2 healing quickly is proof enough he's now superpowered].
Barry 1: It worked.
It looks like you lost a tooth.
Oh.
- No?
- You lost a tooth.
All right. We gotta go.
What have we got?
The alarms in the sterile lab.
Go check it.
Securing the entrance.
We've gotta phase.
Phase, phasing.
Oh...
Shit! I'm slow.
Oh. Oh.
Why is your place so much nicer than I expected it to be?
You like it?
Mom had to help decorate.
You know Mom.
Right, yeah. Classic Mom.
Classic Mom.
Hmm.
- What a day.
Barry, the accident gave you powers, but took mine away.
So, I don't know how I get back. Without access to the Speed Force,
I don't know how I ever leave. Do you understand what I'm saying?
I might be stuck.
Wait.
I have powers now?
Yeah, but...
you... No, no, no.
Holy speedballs.
Okay, I know
this is incredibly exciting, because I went through it.
Speedy Gonzales! Yes, I've done it many times myself.
You can't just start...
Shit.
Oh, my...
Ahh!
Okay, I'm leaving!
Put your hands up.
What did you do?
Nothing. Why?
Barry...
I could've told you about
the clothes. It's friction.
You run too fast, and regular
fabrics are gonna burn up.
It's the same reason why you can't
move people very far at hyperspeed.
That broccoli looks rotten.
Look, some things you can move. Like, you can move, for instance, a microwave.
But you can't move something like, say... a baby.
- Barry,
it's like I've never eaten
anything before. Everything has this vivid flavor. Try a little.
Just take a little bite.
That's bad, isn't it?
Yeah, this is not
good. No, I was kidding.
I'm amazing. We're amazing.
I'm so hungry.
Hey, wait.
I wanna try that phasing thing.
How do I do that?
You don't. Not yet.
Okay? It's very complicated.
Takes a long time to train
your body to be able to speed up whilst your molecules slow 
down enough to pass through the molecular structure of solid objects...
Get out of here!
You've gotta start letting me
finish my sentences.
Are we always this sleepy?
And hungry and naked?
Well, the first two, yes. The third one, no. I've figured that part out.
And honestly, if we're gonna do this there's a lot I'm gonna have to explain to you.
So, a good place to start, I guess, is that, yeah, the original suit
was actually made out of this polysynth...
Or we'll pick this up tomorrow.
[Cut to a day scen of both Barrys in a park].
Barry 1: So the suit is inside the ring, yeah?
Barry 2: What? And I can have this?
Barry 1: No, you can't have it. You can borrow it, so you don't kill yourself using your powers.
[Barry 2 slips it on, jokingly imitating the whispering from the Lord of the Rings trilogy.]
Barry 1: Y-You're gonna push this button and the silk molecules are uncoil, absorbing atmospheric gasses and expanding the suit to full size. Ready?
[Barry 2 pushes the button, and the suit pops out, at first tiny, then slowly expanding as it rises into the air... then hits the ground anticlimactically. Barry 2 laughs.]
Barry 2: It was so tiny for a--
Barry 1: You were supposed to put it on before it hits the floor.
Barry 2: What, like, change? Right here, in front of you?
Barry 1: There's no one even here anyway, Barry! C'mon--
[Barry 2 speeds away, then returns with the suit on.]
Barry 2: Whooh...
Barry 1: Man...
Barry 2: Tight! It hurts. You know where it hurts? In my dick--
Barry 1: Okay, I know! I know... But I don't need to know. Sorry, ca-- Can we move on?
Barry 2: Mm-hm.
Barry 1: Okay, so here's what I'm thinking -- If I can train you to move like I do, then we can recreate the chronobowl--
Barry 2: "Chronobowl"?
Barry 1: ...in the Speed Force...
Barry 2: "Speed Force"...
Barry 1: ...then maybe we can find some way to get me back to the future.
Barry 2: Back to the Future! Yes -- Eric Stoltz is cher boy in that movie! What an embodied performance.
Barry 1: You mean Michael J. Fox?
Barry 2: Back to the Future?
Barry 1: Yeah, in the movie Back to the Future?
Barry 1: Zod...
Barry 2: Zod? What's a Zod?
General Dru-Zod: My name is General Zod. I come from a world far from yours. For some time, your world has sheltered one of my citizens...
Barry 1: Superman is an alien who lives on Earth. I'm assuming, still incognito. But, yeah, he's an alien and-- and he's very powerful, and he's just the best. And then Zod is just an alien from, uh, the same planet, also very powerful, but he's just the worst, and Zod came here to find Clark.
Barry 2: Wait, who's Clark?
Barry 1: Clark is Superman.
Barry 2: Oh. Okay.
Barry 1: But then, Zod also tried to terraform the planet with this World Engine thing, and Superman stopped him eventually, but not before Zod killed thousands of people.
Barry 2: Yeesh...
Barry 1: And at the time, there-- there was nothing I could do, I...
Barry 2: Wait. You-- You were there?
Barry 1: I-- I had just gotten my powers. And I was still putting some finishing touches on my suit. This thing, Zod's World Engine, it started destroying Metropolis, so I-- I just-- I just went there, and I... I started trying to save people.
Boy: Daddy?
Father: Listen to me! Run away! Run away!
Barry 1: There was this kid, and I... I got him, but then I couldn't get his dad.
Boy: Daddy!
Barry 1: It was all I could do, is save that one kid. Only Superman could stop Zod. But not in time to save those people. And now it's about to happen again.
[He snaps back to a determined mood and resumes walking with his younger self].
Barry 1: But, if I can find the entire Justice League - Superman and the rest of the band...
Barry 2: Right...
Barry 1: ... then maybe I can prevent the whole thing from ever even happening at all.
[They go back to Barry 2's apartment in the dorm].
Barry 1: Give me your laptop.
Barry 2: OK..
Barry 1: What's that smell?
Barry 2: Could be anything... Honestly.
[He hands the laptop over to the older Allen. The powerless Flash notices a long-haired, disheleved, chunky young man sleeping on the couch].
Barry 1: Who's that?
Barry 2: Oh. That's... Gary. That's the smell. Don't worry. He's breezy.
[Unphased, Barry 1 sits down on the carpeted floor while Barry 2 sits down on an armchair. The older Allen activates the laptop and begins searching].
Barry 1: We can do this. Uh, let's see, Victor Stone, Gotham City University.
[Suddenly, the blankets fall off a nearby bed as a young woman awakens, screaming. Next to her is a young man, waking up]. 
Barry 2: Oh, this is my roommate, Patty.
[Older Barry recognizes an alternate Patty Spivot].
Barry 1: Patty... is your roommate?
Barry 2: Oh, and that's her roommate, Albert.
Albert Desmond: What's up?
[Barry 1 waves him with a terrified expression].
Barry 2: Good morning...
[Barry 1 looks at him with exasperation].
Barry 2: Oh, sorry. And, uh, guys... this is my cousin... Barry.
[Patty, having just put on a sweater, looks at Barry, and then at Barry.]
Patty Spivot: Whoa... I'm starving.
Okay. Victor Stone, Gotham City University.
Yes. Here he is.
Victor Stone, star quarterback
for the Knight...
Shit, okay.
He's not Cyborg yet.
Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman!
Las Vegas residency.
Illusions, juggling, and zebras.
No. That is not Diana.
- Aquaman.
- Aquaman?
Is that like a super mermaid?
No, Albert, he's not a super mermaid.
Okay? He's half Atlantean,
half human with superhuman strength who
can control marine life with his mind.
So, like a super mermaid?
No, Albert!
That is what you described.
We'll just try Arthur Curry...
Maine...
lighthouse.
Here we are. Thomas Curry.
That's his dad.
Uh, phone.
- Hello.
- Hello, Thomas Curry?
- Yes.
Could I speak to Arthur?
Is Arthur around?
You wanna speak to my dog?
What? No, no. Um, sorry. Uh...
- Is this Thomas Curry?
- Yes.
- And you work at a lighthouse?
- Yes.
Okay, and your wife is
the queen of Atlantis?
- Will you accept this rose?
- Yes.
Uh, no.
Uh, right, but maybe, maybe...
um, a fishlike woman
washed into your life at some point or another?
- Very funny, asshole.
Arthur Curry was never born.
- What?
- This is a disaster.
I-I-I completely
destroyed history.
Like Eric Stoltz.
Okay, why do you keep saying,
"Eric Stoltz"?
Eric Stoltz is Marty McFly.
- What?
- Time travel?
Oh. We talking "BTTF"?
Come on, who is this guy?
Okay, yeah, no, I know.
I've seen all of them and Eric Stoltz
is not Marty McFly.
Really? Then explain Marty McThigh here.
I can't explain that to you, Gary.
That's not your thigh.
It's the wrong actor,
and it's upside down.
Is it?
The point is that in Back to the Future Marty McFly is very famously
played by Michael J. Fox.
The guy from Footloose?
No, that's Kevin Bacon!
Bacon. Kevin Bacon's Maverick with the volleyball, the
gay guys, and the planes?
- Top Gun.
- ♪ Great balls of fire! ♪
- Top Gun, right?
- No, no, no.
I completely broke the universe. Marty McFly is Eric Stoltz.
- Yes.
- Thank you.
I created a world with no metahumans. And now there's no one 
to defend us from Zod. ALBERT!
There's no Cyborg.
There's no Aquaman.
There's no Wonder Woman.
There's no Superman.
There's no Batman.
I'm Batman.
What, you...
What did you just say?
I'm [burping] Batman.
Batman exists?
- Hundo p.
- Yeah, dude.
Nobody knows who he really is, but he exists.
- Right.
Well, uh, we... my cousin Barry and I, have to go
to that cousin's dinner.
Now.
But it was a pleasure to meet you all.
And Gary.
Barry.
- Barry.
- Gary.
Barry!
What, are you frickin'
kidding me with this place?
What is this, hell?
It's open.
- Look at all this cool shit!
- Okay, Barry, don't touch anything in here.
Hello?
Bruce?
Bruce, are you there?
Oh, boy.
Hey, I didn't know you painted.
They're good.
Bruce Wayne?
Bruce?
Hey,
check this out. There's, like,
bells connected to every room
in this house.
Hey, maybe we can
find this Bruce guy...
if we just ring
all these bells, right?
You don't understand how servant
bells work? Those are all the bells.
- You ring them from all the other places.
- What?
You don't have, like,
Downton Abbey in your universe?
Downtown Abbey's?
The chain of, like, family-style restaurants?
They're like, it's like cheaper Bananabee's.
Oh, you know what I'd really go for right now?
Abbey's sizzlin' zucchini squares.
Okay.
Barry 1: You know what, man?! I've had it with you!
Barry 1: Who the hell are you?
Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton): I'm the guy who lives here.
Barry 1: ...we're looking for Bruce Wayne.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): You hungry?
Newscaster: Following the broadcast earlier from General Zod, the individual they are searching for is still...
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): So... You're the same person as him, but from an alternate timeline?
Barry 1: Yes.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): In which... you and I are friends?
Barry 1: Yeah, you're-- you're, like, probably my best friend.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Yeah?
Barry 1: Well, but you're a bit-- You're, uh... Chronologically different.
Barry 2: Older.
Barry 1: Well, and that-- that's what I can't understand; I traveled back in time from here to here, and yet somehow, everything's all changed... back here. Like, when you were born, so--
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Well... time isn't linear, right?
Barry 2: Right.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): At some point, you probably saw a movie that told you that if you went back and changed the past, you'd create a kind of a branched timeline, right? Here, look.
[Bruce takes two spaghetti noodles and lays them next to each other, splitting them apart.]
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): New present and new future.
Barry 2: Yeah.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Well, time doesn't work like that. That's not how time works. When you go back and change the past, you create a fulcrum. You put yourself on a whole 'nother strand of spaghetti. New future. New past. It's retro-causal; echoes goes both ways. Actually, echoes many ways. Maybe some other time...
Barry 1: Okay, but an ontological paradox model, there's not a--
[Bruce shoves the spoon in Barry's mouth.]
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): What you did was, you changed the future and you changed the past. If a person is stupid enough to mess with time, what you eventually end up with is... the multiverse. Some strands runs almost parallel -- there will be inevitable intersections -- and others that are just... wildly divergent. What it is... is a hot mess. It's a crapshoot. It's all just a crapshoot.
Barry 2: What does the parmesan mean...?
Barry 1: Metaphor's over, it's just a garnish.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): And let me tell you something... a person would have to be an idiot to play craps with the space-time continuum.
Barry 2: Yeah, an idiot...
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Here.
Barry 1: Okay, are you joking with the chewing noises right now?
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): So, uh, you're the reason this "Zod" character is about to destroy the Earth?
Barry 1: Maybe.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): There's a guy called "Superman" who can stop Zod.
Barry 1: Yeah, yeah.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): And... flies? Shoots lasers out of his eyes?
Barry 1: Yes, he flies and he shoots lasers out of his eyes, yes.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): No one said "Superman... That might be a little on the nose"?
Barry 1: You call yourself "Batman".
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Yeah. I don't call myself "Super-Batman".
[Barry 2 laughs, then abruptly stops.]
Barry 2: Wait, he's Batman?!
Barry 1: What did you think we were doing here?
Barry 2: I-- I thought this was the cousin's dinner! Is-- Bruce Wayne is Batman?!
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Not really, not so much anymore. Y'know... they don't really need me. Things have changed; Gotham's now one of the safest cities in the world.
Barry 1: Well, I-- I need you. We need you. In my timeline, Batman's our strategist, our-- our leader. The world needs Superman. You're the best detective in the world, you're probably the only person who can help me find him. So, will you help us?
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Pass.
Barry 1: Pa-- Was that... Like, "Pass the salt?" Bruce?!
Barry 1: He doesn't wanna help us? We're gonna use his Bat shit.
Barry 2: Batshit?
Barry 1: Yeah, his-- his Bat stuff, his Bat things. Go, stand on that thing. Okay. Remember when you phased through the floor?
Barry 2: Yeah!
Barry 1: So, I need you to do that again--
Barry 2: Ow! What is this place?
Barry 2: Dude... this place straight beevs!
Barry 1: "Beevs"?
Barry 2: Barry! I almost died! In an abyss!
Barry 1: Twelve thousand, eight hundred and five Clark Kents in the U.S....
Barry 2: Is this what I think it is?! Holy shit! I used to see this thing on the news when I was a kid!
Barry 1: Okay. Find search... Date of birth. He wasn't born, he arrived...
Barry 2: Oh! Oh, Barry, look!
Barry 1: I'm busy.
Barry 2: With what?!
Barry 1: Looking for unidentified objects entering anywhere near Kansas in the last 50 years. He has a backdoor into NASA. Of course he does...
Barry 2: Yeah, but Barry! Check this out! This bag laughs!
Barry 1: Hey, can't you take anything seriously? Stop messing around.
Barry 2: Dude, come on! Have you seen this place? It's amazing! Hello!
Barry 1: Has the gravity of this not sunk in for you? Stop messing around, Barry! I won't say it again.
Barry 2: Yeesh. Sorry, Mom...
Barry 1: Shut up! Shut up. You have no idea how lucky you are! No idea! You take everything for granted, you don't appreciate-- You just walk around thinking that you're so funny! And so cool! And it's embarrassing, because you're not! Any of those things!
Barry 2: Hey, screw you, man! I've done nothing but everything you've asked! You made me get struck by lightning, I-- I phased naked through the floor, I terrified Mrs. Johanssen, now I'm probably gonna have to move! You won't even tell me why you're here! But will you at least tell me why you're being so mean to me for no reason?!
Barry 1: You used Monkey as a dartboard!
Barry 2: Wait, what?!
Barry 1: ...forget it
Barry 2: The monkey...? Wai-- So you're mad at me for playing with a toy?
Barry 1: It's not a toy. Mom bought us that monkey.
Barry 2: 'Cause she calls us "monkey", she... gives us monkey stuff all the time.
Barry 1: Right. Look, I'm sorry. I'm not very good with people. Even myself.
Barry 2: Oh... C'mon, dude, you... You're not that bad. You can just be kind of a dick sometimes, but... I mean, let's face it, I am pretty obnoxious. I just get excited! C'mon. This place is pretty cool, right?
Barry 1: Yeah.
Barry 2: Alright, well, um... I'll let you work.
Barry 1: I know you're there. You know what I'm stuck on? It's that thing you said, with the spaghetti. You said there were certain intersections that would always be inevitable. You had an Alfred. My Bruce has an Alfred. Different worlds, different times, and yet... there it is. Certain people, certain events, certain strands of spaghetti drawn to each other like-- like magnets. I've read all about temporal paradoxes and causal loops, but this is more than that. Inevitable intersections are something none of the theories could've anticipated 'cause, well, how do you explain something like that except for... fate? If you are listening, I'm sorry about your parents. I'm just trying to save mine. There has to be a way... There is a way, Barry. Just keep trying. Keep trying...
Barry 1: I found him. Barry, wake up! Clark's being held by a mercenary group in a Siberian black site. Get up, Barry!
Barry 2: The ghost is on fire! Guh...!
Barry 1: We're going to Russia.
Barry 2: Wait... Ah, mm, coffee! How are we gonna get to Russia?
Keaton-Batman: I'll help you get this "Superman". Then, you're on your own.
Barry 2: Ho... You're... You are! You're...
Keaton-Batman: Yeah. I'm Batman.
Barry 2: So what was the plan? We're just gonna, what, grab Superman and dip out before the block is hot?
Barry 1: I dunno.
Barry 2: Hey, you should ask him
Barry 1: You ask him.
Barry 2: You should ask him.
Barry 1: Yeah. I'm not gonna ask him.
Barry 2: Why not? I thought Batman was supposed to be our friend!
Barry 1: Not this one! Not this Batman!
Keaton-Batman: We're here.
Batcomputer: Activating Hover Mode.
Batcomputer: Ejector Seat, On.
Barry 1: Ejector seat.
Barry 2: Ejector se--!
Barry 1: Whoa-- 'kay, there are stages.
Keaton-Batman: You're strapped to your parachute.
Barry 2: Hey, where's yours?
Barry 2: Whoa, this rips di--!
Keaton-Batman: All clear. Let's move.
Barry 1: Okay!
Good. Everybody's fast now but me.
- Why is it so cold?
- It's the Arctic, Barry.
Where'd he go?
- I don't know. Just follow the footprints.
Superman would be down there for sure.
Yeah. Okay.
What did you do?
I had to move you.
But I just did it a little.
This might hurt.
- Just let it out.
Let's go.
That's where you keep Superman.
Like a big scrotum.
He's gonna hack the Soviet security
cyberscrotum with a flip phone?
I tried all the combinations.
Yes!
Shit.
Kal-El?
It's not him. We've gotta go.
Wait.
We can't just leave her here.
Look at her.
I'll grab her. Just go!
I got you.
I'll handle this jabroni.
What the...
Barry! Somebody shot me!
- Time to dip set!
You, you lead the way!
- Go!
- Not that way! Not that way!
Oh, God!
- Cover!
No!
It's coming around.
Hurry, hurry.
No, no, no! This is bullshit!
No!
- Come on.
Let's go.
You didn't tell me
we could get shot!
Why would you assume
we couldn't?
Oh, great! To die
at the feet of a Sputnik.
Oh, man! I need this knee!
- Stay calm. It'll heal.
- Come on.
- How much do you weigh?
- 180.Each. Plus her, 440.
Hold on.
Oh, great. They're here.
They're over here, too.
Smirnoff Ice.
- Yes. Smirnoff Ice.
- Hi.
- Stop them!
- Yep.
- Okay, they're serious. Barry, shut up.
Yeah, okay.
[The frightened, powerless, older Allen turns his head to the Caped Crusader].
Barry 1: What's the play?! Batman, what do we do? What now?!
[Bruce assesses the situation quickly, bravely staring into the depths of the Russian gun barrels, then does an almost unnoticeable glance upwards].
Keaton-Batman: Now... We try not to die.
Oh, you guys should've seen that in slo-mo.
Barry 1: Yeah, I'm just realizing that I didn't really think this through. There are good Kryptonians and then there are very very bad Kryptonians, and I was very confident that we were just gonna find Superman, and if we found Superman, then this would all be super simple--
Kara Zor-El: Who are you?!
Barry 1: Holy funyuns. Hi! I-- I, I'm Barry--
Barry 2: Well, we're Barry.
Barry 1: We were trying to find... Kal-El, but we-- We found you in-- instead.
Kara Zor-El: What do you want with Kal-El?
Barry 1: We were trying to-- Trying to rescue him...
Kara Zor-El: Why?
Barry 1: Because... he's my friend. Do you-- Do you know him?
Barry 2: She looks mad...
Barry 1: Get ready! She might do laser vision. Or she might do a-- like, a freezing breath, or she'll just start...
Kara Zor-El: My name is Kara. Daughter of Zor-El. Kal-El was my cousin.
Barry 1: She's gone. I have to get my powers back. If I can recreate the accident that gave me my powers, maybe I can reconnect to the Speed Force, and maybe we stand a chance against Zod!
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Or kill yourself in the process. Tell me something: If you get your powers back, you can go anywhere. Another timeline, another universe... Why do you wanna stay and fight to save this one?
Barry 1: Because this is the one where my Mom lives. I went back in time to save her. I'm not gonna lose her again.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): The kid doesn't know, does he?
Barry 1: How do you tell someone something like that?
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): When I lost my parents, I was, uh... That pain made me who I am. I'm not sure I know who I am without it, actually. I spent a lifetime trying to right the wrongs of the past. As if putting on a cape and fighting crime would bring my parents back. You actually did it. So, I guess the plan is to douse yourself in industrial chemicals while electrocuting yourself.
Barry 1: Yep.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Want some help.
Barry 1: Hell yeah. That would be incredibly useful. I've actually already stolen some chemicals from S.T.A.R. Labs... and your soldering iron, and I'm sitting in your bat-seat. Is that like a faux pas?
Wilco, Lima,
Zebra, be advised...
Air Command to Bravo 601.
Primary teams,
please confirm your AORs.
- Green teams ready to move.
- Standing by!
Dru-Zod: You bring me nothing. Hm. I gave you a warning. Your failure to deliver the Kryptonian traitor has been taken as an act of war!
Fire, fire, fire!
We have contact, contact!
Weapons hot!
Weapons hot! Open fire!
Kara Zor-El: No!
Air support now!
I repeat, air support!
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Okay, when I throw the switch, the current should run up the wire, draw the lighting right to the kite! Here, put that on. It's heat and impact resistant; it should protect you a little.
Barry 1: Right, but the point is for me to not be protected.
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Okay. You're gonna need to be out of the way.
Barry 2: I will. 
Barry 1: Let's get electrocuted.
Barry 2: This is going to work, right?
Barry 1: Of course it's going to work! Nothing we haven't done before! Besides, this time we have Batman! What could go wrong?
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Uh, for the record, I think this is insane. Get back.
Barry 1: It's fine! It's fine... Just you and me now, Mr. Lightning... Do it!
Barry 2: Hey, what?! No! No, wait! Stop, stop!
Oh, God.
Barry, no.
Go again.
But...
Please.
The circuit is fried.
I've got you.
Hey. Barry.
You're okay.
It's like last time, right?
So, you gotta heal now.
Look, look, look!
It's working. It's working.
Yeah, it's working. Yeah.
Yeah, he's healing.
He's healing.
Oh, my God. He's okay.
Dude, you scared
the shit out of me.
Barry 2: You're awake! How you feeling?
Barry 1: Slow.
Barry 2: Maybe this will help. Ooo! Ooo, yes, dude, come on! Irresistible!
Barry 1: Man! Feels good to be back.
Barry 2: Yeah!
Barry 1: And what are we wearing tonight?
Barry 2: You like it? I made it myself out of that old Batsuit but, y'know, I made it our colors and everything. And, check this out! It's a bit more loose.
Barry 1: It beevs.
Barry 2: Do you... really mean that?
Barry 1: I mean, I don't... I don't know what-- what it means to "beev", exactly, but it seems like it's positive. What are you doing...? You came back.
Kara Zor-El: I'm glad you're okay. I have to ask you something: when you found me in that hole that they put me in and I wasn't Kal-El... Why did you help me?
Barry 1: Because you needed help.
Kara Zor-El: Do you know what this symbol stands for?
Barry 2: Supergirl?
Barry 1: It means "hope", right?
Barry 2: "Hope"! Yeah, does it mean "hope"?
Kara Zor-El: Krypton was a beautiful place. We honor people of hope, not war.
[She looks as the broadcasts of Zod's attack.]
Kara Zor-El: Zod may be from Krypton, but he is not my people.
Barry 2: So you're saying...
Kara Zor-El: Yes. I will help you fight Zod.
Barry 2: Yes!
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Interesting group. What did you say, uh... we were called, again?
Barry 2: We're the Justice League!
Barry 1: No.
Barry 2: No?
Barry 1: Well, I mean... kinda! We are short one literal goddess, one friendly Terminator, and super-mermaid. And we could definitely use a Batman. Are you in?
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts.
[Cut to a sweeping shot of the Batwing and Supergirl speeding through the sky in tandem as clouds whirl around them, turning into a blur].
Barry 1: Okay. Can we please just take a minute?
Barry 2: Sorry, dude -- Yeah, but, bro, of course! [He chuckles.] That's the whole thing, we can take as much time as it takes!
Barry 1: No, that's not what I mean-- Hey!
Barry 2: Okay. You good? C'mon, I need you in there. Let's go.
Barry 1: Barry, please just listen to me!
Barry 2: Where were you?! What, you just stand here the whole time?!
Barry 1: Barry, this is an inevitable intersection. You have to stop-- Barry!
Barry 1: No, Barry, wait!
Barry 1: Barry, listen... There's something I should tell you. I went back in time initially, because--
Barry 2: You're here because Mom died.
Barry 1: Yeah. How do you know?
Barry 2: It doesn't matter, does it?
Barry 1: You know that I have to undo what I did.
Barry 2: No, it's not a mistake! We can save her, and we can save them.
Barry 1: No, we can't! This is what Bruce was talking about. Barry, this is inevitable! We can try a million times and we're not gonna be able to fix this! No matter what we do, this world dies today... Look around. Look at the damage we're causing! And now we have to stop, okay?
Barry 2: Look, I was just doing my laundry! You're the one who came and told me that I'm a superhero! And now you're saying, what, you don't want me to be?! Well guess what?! It's too late! I! Am! The Flash... And I can save everyone! Nobody dies!
Barry 1: Barry... not every problem has a solution.
Nora: Not every problem has a solution.
Barry 1: Sometimes, we just have to let go.
Nora: Sometimes, we just have to let go.
Barry 2: Let go... of Mom?
Barry 1: She'll always be alive somewhere in time. Always. Just not for us.
Barry 2: You're full of shit, dude.
Barry 1: I'm going back.
Barry 2: You're going back to kill Mom?! No! You're staying! You stay right here... Just give me one more time!
Barry 1: Barry!
[He tries to run into the Speed Force after his doppelganger, but behind appears a dark, sinister figure - The Dark Flash - and slams him into the ground].
Dark Flash: No!
Barry 1: I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Let's start again. I'm the Flash! What's your name?
Dark Flash: I've lived... more than you can dream.
Barry 1: Not an answer. Did you, like... rehearse that?
Barry 2: Whoa...
Barry 1: Get outta here, Barry!
Barry 2: That scar... Oh, my god. So, you're... You are...?
Dark Flash: Yes. I am. You. We are so close. I've got it almost figured out.
Barry 1: How long have you been doing this?
Dark Flash: Time is inconsequential. Come on, Barry.
Announcer: Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!
Batman (Adam West): Only the Joker would think of that...
Barry 1: Please, just look at what's happening to these worlds... They're colliding and collapsing. We did this. We're-- We're destroying the fabric of everything. You have to stop!
Dark Flash: IT STOPS ONCE I'VE FIXED IT! It's not entirely your fault, Barry. I pushed you out of the Chronobowl on that September 29th so you could start me on this path. How do you like our endless paradox? I made you create me. And now you're the one in my way. No matter how close I get to winning this fight, you go back and let Mom die. You're the inevitable intersection. And you do have to let go.
Barry 2: What's he talking about?
Dark Flash: You're my hero...
Barry 1: What did you do?! Hey, hey, don't worry! It's gonna heal. It's gonna heal...
Barry 2: I just wanted to... You tell Mom I love her.
Barry Allen: Bruce!
Bruce Wayne: Congratulations.
Barry Allen: Thank you. You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. I... I-- I have so much to tell you the next time I see you, Bruce. You were right, okay? And I didn't listen, and things did get very, very weird, but I put everything back, I promise!
Bruce Wayne: I'm pulling up now.
Barry Allen: Oh, right.
[Bruce steps out of his fancy car and a crowd instantly gathers around him. Barry turns, a smile on his face. The camera pushes forward to reveal… George Clooney’s Bruce Wayne, buttoning up his suit coat.]
Barry Allen: Who the fuck is this?!
[Wayne approaches Barry with a smile, pocketing his sunglasses and putting his hands in his pockets.]
Bruce Wayne (Clooney): Hey, Barry!
Barry Allen: No, wha— where’s… You’re, you— No, you can’t… You— You’re not Batman!
Bruce Wayne (Clooney): What’s wrong with you?
[Barry stutters incoherently. He opens his mouth to speak... and his tooth falls out.]
=== Post Credits Scene ===
[Barry drags Arthur Curry out of a bar, where he promptly spits up alcohol.]
Barry Allen: I've told you, it's my metabolism, right? I can't get drunk.
Arthur Curry: I can't get drink either.
Barry Allen: Listen. Listen, I'm, 'cause I'm trying to--
[Arthur tries lifting his paper-covered bottle up to his lips, and Barry promptly brushes it away.]
Barry Allen: No. No, no, no. 'Cause what I'm trying to explain, as simply as I possibly can, I promise -- they were all Batman. They were all Bruce Wayne. But each of them is a completely different person!
Arthur Curry: So, on the other line time--
Barry Allen: Timeline.
Arthur Curry: I'm the same guy?
Barry Allen: Yeah, actually! Pretty much. You're lovable, furry, loyal, motivated by bacon...
[Barry begins walking away, Arthur trailing close behind.]
Arthur Curry: Alright, listen, thank you for making it more simpler for me, Mr. Simple More.
Barry Allen: Yeah, I'm doing my best!
Arthur Curry: Shh...
Barry Allen: Look, y-you're missing the larger premise here. In my timeline, when I-- When I--
[Arthur stumbles into a pole, then falls face down into a puddle, then splashes around in it lazily.]
Barry Allen: Alright, c'mon. Up, up, Broseidon! Alright, c-- c'mon. I thought you were gonna sleep on the couch. I-- [He stutters.] Arthur, I live right here.
Arthur Curry: Harry? I live right here, it's okay.
[He then rolls on his front, again going in the puddle. Barry blows out his mouth.]
Barry Allen: Okay... 
Arthur Curry: Oh, hey. More beer. Go fast.
[Barry begins to shuffle away.]
Arthur Curry: Oh, here! Here...
[Arthur hands Barry a coin.]
Arthur Curry: Pay with this.
Barry Allen: Arthur, this is Atlantean treasure.
Arthur Curry: Y-You tell them that. [singing:] Got no money for the sailor suit, I--
Barry Allen: Yep.
Arthur Curry: I'm a sailor...
Barry Allen: You're a sailor! He's fine.
[Barry walks away, flipping the coin in his hand.]
== Deleted / Extended Scenes ==
=== Barry 1 Sneaks Barry 2 In ===
Barry 2: E--Eighteen...
[Barry 2 immediately passes out. Cut to inside the house, where Barry's parents are talking:]
Henry: I'll call Dr. Farber in the morning, and then we'll, uh... see if he wants to see him, and...
[Barry 1 creeps in, holding a burlap sack that clearly contains the body of his double.]
Barry 1: Well, I pooped. Um, in the backyard, as promised and, added bonus, found my laundry. And now I'm going to... Well, I don't owe you an explanation, 'cause I'm eighteen. And that's the facts... lolzcats. 
[Barry awkwardly clambers up the stairs.]
Barry 2: Love you guys so much, thank you! Thanks for dinner, again, Mom, it was... really good. It was really... delicious! It was--
Nora: Okay. What should we do?
Henry: Um... aquarium sounds fun!
[Cut to Barry's room inside the house.]
=== Entering Wayne Manor ===
Barry 1: Door's open...
Barry 2: Dude, what are you doing?
Barry 1: Don't worry; he's my friend.
Barry 2: Uh, well, that's... still breaking and entering, though. Thought superheroes were supposed to fight crime.
Barry 1: Hello?
Barry 2: Whoa...
Barry 1: Bruce? Alfred?
Barry 2: What is that smell?
Barry 1: Barry, don't touch that! Anything in here could be a booby trap!
Barry 2: Boobies in that painting.
Barry 2: Look at all this cool shit!
Barry 1: Barry, don't touch anything in here. It does seem familiar... Do you hear music?
Barry 2: Barry, check me out, I look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle!
Barry 1: Okay, Barry? Please stop acting like a child. Grow up. And you didn't look like a Ninja Turtle, you looked like Shredder.
Barry 2: Shredder, that's what I meant!
Barry 1: Yeah? Well then say that. You put that outfit exactly like you found it, right?
Barry 2: Yes.
Barry 2: What in the literal hell... Why would someone get hell painted on their ceiling?
Barry 1: You don't tell, it's hell stuff.
Barry 2: Pretty metal, I guess...
=== Pass ===
Barry 1: Well, I-- I need you. We need you. In my timeline, Batman's our strategist, our-- our leader. The world needs Superman. You're the best detective in the world, you're probably the only person who can help me find him. So, will you help us?
Bruce Wayne (Keaton): Pass.
Barry 1: Pa-- Pass the... salt? Pa-- Pass the parmesan?
Barry 1: If Zod isn't stopped, then everyone will die!
Barry 2: Y-Yeah, c-- c'mon, man! We-- We need you! The-- the world needs you! C'mon you don't wanna be Batman again, and, like, save the day?! Lame...
Barry 2: What a dick! More like Bat... asshole! Sick visual burn.
Barry 1: He doesn't wanna help us? We're gonna use his Bat shit.
Barry 2: Batshit?
Barry 1: Yeah, his-- his Bat stuff, his Bat things. Go, stand on that thing. Okay. Remember when you phased through the floor?
Barry 2: Yeah!
Barry 1: So, I need you to do that again--
[Barry 2 does, getting stuck at the elbows.]
Barry 1: Iron is denser than floorboards!
[Barry 2 begins screaming.]
Barry 1: Barry, you need to concentrate on your molecules--
Barry 2: I don't know where my molecules are!
Barry 1: Just think wiggly, jiggly thoughts.
Barry 2: Jiggly, wobbly!
Barry 1: Think about jiggly things, like Jell-O! Jell-O Pudding!
Barry 2: Jiggly, wiggly! Big b-- Whoa!
Barry 1: Barry, are you okay?
Barry 2: Ow! What is this place?
=== Barry 2 Explores the Batcave ===
Barry 2: Dude... this place straight beevs!
Barry 1: "Beevs"?
Barry 2: Ibiza, are you ready to dance?! (Dance, dance...)
Barry 2: Yeah, boy, we came all the way from Düsseldorf!
Barry 2: Barry! I almost died! In an abyss!
Barry 1: Twelve thousand, eight hundred and five Clark Kents in the U.S....
=== I Don't Know About This One ===
Barry 2: Excuse me, uh, Mr. Bruce-man? C-- Can we stop somewhere?
Barry 1: Stop somewhere?
Barry 2: Never mind.
Barry 1: It's a part of it. It's a part of superhero stuff. You gotta hold your pee sometimes.
Barry 2: So what was the plan? We're just gonna, what, grab Superman and dip set before the block is hot?
Barry 1: I dunno.
Barry 2: Hey, you should ask him.
Barry 1: You ask him.
Barry 2: You should ask him.
Barry 1: Yeah. I'm not gonna ask him.
Barry 2: Why not? I thought Batman was supposed to be your friend!
Barry 1: Not this one! Not this Batman! I don't know about this one.
Barry 2: ...Thank you! Right? Okay, I don't know about him one either. And actually -- I've been meaning to talk to you about this, I heard this rumor about him killing a dude in front of his kid. Maybe that's why he quit.
Barry 1: No, no, no... You've got it wrong. Or-- The rumors got it wrong. His parents were killed in front of him when he was a kid.
Barry 2: Yeah, but I heard about this other thing, too. Also, what was with all about that spaghetti stuff? I mean, yes, it was belissimo, but why does this guy know so much about time travel? Makes you think, doesn't it?
Barry 1: Maybe he's trying to fix it...
Barry 2: Hey, you should ask him.
Barry 1: What is it with you and the "ask him"?! I'm not gonna ask him! I'm not gonna ask him anything!
Batman (Michael Keaton): We're here.
Category:Transcripts
Category:Warner Bros. Transcripts