Bully-ieve It or Not/Quotes

:(Jimmy Jr. and Zeke are talking about their entrepreneurship idea at school)
:Jimmy Jr.: (to Zeke) "Tank Bottoms: Tanktops for your bottoms."
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:(Tina is giving Will a tour of the school)
:Tina: ...And here's some more lockers, and there's, um, those lockers over there.
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:Tina: (to Jimmy Jr. and Zeke) Hey, guys, please give a warm Wagstaff welcome to our newest student, Will. (to Will) Will, these are fellow eighth graders, Jimmy Jr. and Zeke.
:Zeke: Hello.
:Jimmy Jr.: 'Sup?
:(Gene and Louise arrive)
:Louise: Run, Will. Leave while you still can.
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:Gene: What grade are you in, Will--14th?
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:Louise: (to Tina) Have you shown Will the booger wall yet?
:Will: (concerned) "Booger wall?"
:Tina: Yeah, it's what it sounds like.
:(Tina and Will walk away to resume Will's tour)
:Gene: See if you can guess which are mine. Here's a hint: they're brown like their daddy's eyes.
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:(Bob is sweeping outside his restaurant. Jimmy Pesto and Trev are watching him)
:Jimmy Pesto: (to Bob, mocking him) Hi, I'm Bob. I like to 'sweep,' but I can't 'keep' my customers. A-zoom!
:Trev: Ha. Rhyming can be mean.
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:Jimmy Pesto: (to Bob) You know, you get one rat...
:Bob: Yeah, well that's part of the business--
:Jimmy Pesto: ...pack. One pack of rats, covered in roaches, and suddenly people don't want to eat their spaghetti.
:Bob: (concerned) You had a pack of rats covered with roaches?
:Jimmy Pesto: Yeah. What, you never had that?
:Bob: Uh, not-not at the same time. Our rats and roaches don't get along.
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:(Gene and Louise are on the playground structure at school)
:Gene: Am I crazy or would this make a nice apartment? Get some houseplants, maybe a mini fridge.
:Louise: Eh, it's basically an upgrade from where we live now.
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:(Jimmy Jr. and Zeke are outside for recess)
:Jimmy Jr.: (to Zeke) So, I had some more ideas about tank bottoms.
:Zeke: (distracted) Uh-huh.
:Jimmy Jr.: "Tank bottoms" is kind of a mouthful, so I was thinking we would call them TB's.
:Zeke: (distracted) Oh, uh, y-yeah, yeah.
:Jimmy Jr.: But then the problem is that's also what they call tuberculosis.
:Zeke: (distracted) Mm-hmm. Sounds great.
:Jimmy Jr.: Zeke, are you even listening to me?
:Zeke: (still distracted) Yeah. Sorry.
:Jimmy Jr.: (looks at where's Zeke's looking) What are you looking at?
:Zeke: Nothin', nothin'.
:Jimmy Jr.: (sees Tina and Will at the tetherball court) What, tetherball? Oh, my God. Another TB.
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:Jimmy Jr.: (to Zeke) What do you think about this for a slogan? "The TB you want to get."
:Zeke: (sees Will walking over to them) Oh, oh, I love it, uh... But, uh, listen. I got to go. I got to go somewhere real fast, all right?
:(Zeke runs away from the playground, and Gene and Louise notice)
:Louise: What the heck? That's the second time today Zeke has just run off. Huh.
:Gene: When he has to go, he has to go. He's pee-streakin'.
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:(Bob, Linda, and Teddy are in the restaurant. Linda is prepping the restaurant's tables)
:Linda: (singing) The ketchup loves the mustard, but it makes the ketchup flustered, so I give them a little spaaace...
:Bob: So, what'll it be today, Teddy?
:Teddy: Eh... (looks at the burger of the day board: 'The Burger Ball Pit,' then looks back at Bob) maybe just a cheeseburger. And fries.
:Bob: Really? Did you take a look at the burger of the day?
:Teddy: Eh, I-I don't know, bunch of little burger balls? Eh...
:Linda: Yeah! There's a ball pit in your mouth, and your taste buds are jumping in it.
:Bob: It's interesting, Teddy. I'm having fun with texture.
:Teddy: (lying) Oh, yeah, very fun. I just don't want to have fun like that. With a bunch of balls in my mouth.
:Bob: Fine. Some people are just open to new ideas. And you're dumb.
:Teddy: Exactly. (realizes) What?
:Bob: Nothing.
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:(Bob confronts Jimmy Pesto for copying his burger of the day)
:Jimmy Pesto: Look, Bob, we both had the same idea. We'll see who it works out better for.
:Trev: For whom it works out better for.
:Jimmy Pesto: (annoyed) Ah, just-just go inside, Trev.
:Trev: What? Jeez. Grammar matters. (Trev goes inside)
:Bob: It's stealing, Jimmy. And you know what happens to thieves?
:Jimmy Pesto: What, Bob?
:Bob: They... get their comeuppance.
:Jimmy Pesto: "Comeuppance?" What is that, from Mary Poppins?
:Bob: So what if it is? She was a great nanny.
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:(Gene and Louise are walking to the cafeteria for lunch)
:Gene: (singing) It's time for ravioli. I will not eat them slowly, no!
:Louise: I would be shocked if you did.
:(Gene and Louise confront Jimmy Jr. and Zeke talking to each other)
:Jimmy Jr.: (to Zeke) You're seriously not eating in the cafeteria?
:Zeke: (nervously) I don't feel like it today. Why-why do we all have to eat lunch together? Why can't we just eat separately in quiet contemplation? I'm just gonna eat in the library.
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:Jimmy Jr.: (sees Zeke run off for the third time) Oh, my gosh. I think Zeke was bullied. My sweet best friend. Sweet, sweet Zeke. (walks into the cafeteria)
:Louise: Huh. So Will's a bully.
:Gene: Seems like it. Willy the Bully, aka Wooly Bully.
:Louise: I don't like bullies, and I especially don't like them in our school. And in our sister's grade. I mean, what if he makes Tina pee and embarrasses her? She's already fighting an uphill battle.
:Gene: Yeah!
:Louise: We gotta nip this in the bud.
:Gene: I believe it's "the butt."
:Louise: I think we should give Will a taste of his own medicine.
:Gene: Western medicine. Not holistic at all.
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:(Gene and Louise are in the lunch line while Louise talks about their plan to get back at Will)
:Louise: I've got a good plan, Gene.
:Gene: Me too. Begging for extra ravioli.
:Louise: I mean a plan to get revenge on Will for Zeke and show him that this bullying crap isn't gonna fly here.
:Gene: Oh. Right. Yeah.
:Louise: So, we each get a juice box.
:Gene: Uh-huh.
:Louise: You don't drink yours.
:Gene: I don't like that.
:Louise: Then we offer Tina and Will the seats across from us, and why wouldn't they sit near Tina's harmless siblings, right?
:Gene: We're terrific!
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:Gene: (to Louise) Will I be reimbursed for any lost juice?
:Louise: In the next life, which could be soon if Will kills us.
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:Teddy: (to Bob) You know, people sometimes have the same idea at the same time. Remember when Deep Impact and Armageddon came out in the same year? Or when Steve Harvey started going bald right when I started going bald?
:Linda: (in agreement) Spooky...
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:(Zeke enters the cafeteria after running away to the library)
:Jimmy Jr.: (sees Zeke and motions for him) Zeke, you're here! What happened to the library?
:Gene: Was it too noisy?
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:Louise: (trying to get Gene to shoot his juice box at Will from under the lunch table) Interesting ravioli. Interesting ravioli!
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:Louise: (distracting Will) So, uh, Will, uh, what'd you think of the booger wall? 'Boogerific,' am I right?
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:(Zeke tells the lunch table about how he used to bully Will)
:Louise: (to Zeke) You should definitely apologize. Maybe, send him, like, an edible arrangement or give him your house?
:Gene: Maybe adopt a highway for him?
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:(Everyone starts leaving the cafeteria as the lunch bell rings)
:Tina: Uh, come on, Will. I'll take you to your next class. I think we have algebra together. "Alge-bring" you there. (chuckles)
:
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:Gene: (looks at his ravioli) I guess I'll have to take the rest of these to go. And (stuffs a dumpling in his mouth) there (stuffs another one) we (stuffs another one) go. (stuffs the final one)
:Louise: (to Gene) Like a little Italian squirrel.
:Regular Sized Rudy: (in agreement) Oh, yeah.
:Gene: Grazie.
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:(Bob stares at Jimmy Pesto's Pizzeria because Jimmy Pesto is getting more recognition from an idea he stole from him and grumbles)
:Linda: So... Bob? Are you just gonna keep stewing or what?
:Bob: (gasps in disbelief as he continues to watch Jimmy Pesto's restaurant) Someone's taking pictures of Pesto's with a fancy camera! D-do you think they're from the paper? Oh, my God, that's it (unties his apron) I'm going over there.
:Linda: Oh, no Bob. Don't.
:Mort: Linda's right, Bob. To what end?
:Teddy: "To what end?" Just say "why," Mort.
:Mort: Why?
:Teddy: (confused) Are you asking that to me or to Bob?
:Mort: (also confused) I don't know!
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:(Linda, Teddy, and Mort are trying to stop Bob from going to Jimmy Pesto's Pizzeria)
:Linda: Come on, Bob, we know you had the idea, you know you had the idea, and you'll have another idea tomorrow--if you don't have a heart attack over Jimmy Pesto.
:Teddy: Linda's right, Bob. And my therapist would say that you should focus on your own happiness and not compare it to other people's.
:Bob: (to Teddy) YOUR THERAPIST IS AN IDIOT!
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:Jimmy Pesto: (to the Reporter) So, I just thought to myself, "Balls. Pizza balls." And then, "Pizza ball pit!" Boom.
:Bob: (to himself) Oh, my God.
:Trev: Bob, we're gonna be in the paper, on the Internet, where it really counts. My mom 's finally gonna be proud of me.
:Bob: (not caring) That's great, Trev.
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:Reporter: (sarcastically to Bob) Hmm, who should I interview, the inventor of the pizza ball pit or some guy who wandered in off the street who won't stop shrieking while I'm trying to work?
:Bob: (shrieking) I'M NOT SHRIEKING!
:Jimmy Pesto: (to the Reporter) Let's go someplace quieter. Come back in the kitchen. I-I can show you the oven where it all happens. It looks like a microwave, but it's not exactly a microwave.
:(Jimmy Pesto and the Reporter both leave to the kitchen)
:Bob: (groans and sits down at Jimmy Pesto's bar) Ugh. Hmm.
:Trev: (to Bob) So... you're staying?
:Bob: YES. I'm gonna make sure that that guy tells the world that Jimmy is a total fraud.
:Trev: Alright... Want some water while you're waiting? (takes out an empty glass and a pull-out faucet)
:Bob: NO, I don't want water. (changes his mind) Actually, yes. I-I'm a little thirsty.
:(Trev makes Bob a glass of water)
:Bob: (sighs) Thank you.
:Trev: Seven dollars.
:Bob: (in disbelief) WHAT?
:Trev: Got you! Classic me.
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:(Tina, Gene, Louise, Jimmy Jr.., Zeke, and Will are at the front of the school as soon as school dismisses)
:Will: (telling Jimmy Jr. about what Zeke did to him) He made fun of my lisp!
:Tina: (gasps)
:Gene: Woah.
:Louise: (gasps)
:Jimmy Jr.: (misunderstanding) Your "lips?" (stares at Will's lips.) They look fine to me. They look completely normal.
:Will: Not my lips. My lisp.
:Jimmy Jr.: (with a lisp) WHAT? (with a lisp, to Zeke) SERIOUSLY?
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:Jimmy Jr.: (with a lisp) I mean, yeah, a lot of people don't know this, but I have a speech impediment.
:Louise: (lying) Huh.
:Gene: (lying) Reeaally?
:Tina: (lying) Whaa? I never, um...
:Jimmy Jr.: (with a lisp) Yeah. I worked through a lot of it, but sometimes, it still shows up.
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:Zeke: (to Tina, Gene, Louise, Jimmy Jr., and Will) You have to forgive me, guys! There's got to be something I can do.
:Jimmy Jr.: I honestly don't see how you fix this, Zeke.
:Louise: (to Zeke) Money never hurts. Hundred bucks each? 50 to me for brokering the deal?
:Gene: (to Zeke) Show 'em your butt, let them make fun of it?
:Zeke: Fine! (moons everyone)
:Tina: (looking at Zeke's butt) Oh, wow.
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:(Zeke licks the booger wall as Tina, Gene, Louise, Jimmy Jr., and Will watch)
:Louise: Oh, SICK!
:Gene: YES!
:Tina: (gags and looks away) Ugh!
:Will: Wow.
:Jimmy Jr.: Oh, Zeke. (looks away)
:Zeke: (gagging) It wasn't that bad. But I'm gonna... (starts choking) Oh, my God, I'm gonna throw up. (retches) Oh, my God! You're my best friend, Jimmy Jr.! (retches again)
:Jimmy Jr.: (still looking away) You're my best friend, Zeke. Even if I can't quite look at you right now.
:Zeke: (stops coughing) I get it. (to everyone) Now, who wants to get licked by a BOOGER TONGUE?
Category:Episode quotes