Headhunters 2: The Ultimate Eighteen

== Introduction ==
Week one is in the books and I can't help but feel like this is the calm before the beheading storm. A single-elimination week with a team performing so badly that everyone got to relax for the three night games. Enjoy that while it lasts.
== In Memorium: Steve Blackman's Nun ==
It's fitting that Nick's team name got cut short by Yahoo's character limit, because now their season has been cut short and when someone asks how many weeks Nick survived we can tell them "nun." 
So where did things go wrong for Steve Blackman (or Blackwoman, 2020 don't assume gender). It all started Thursday night, when Kenny Stills got blanked by KC. From there, things somehow got worse. TJ Hockenson was the only starter to beat projections, and no non-QB on the roster broke 20 points. Hindsight is the year 2020, but maybe going with exclusively Lions and Bengals players wasn't the best strategy.
Nick was one of four new managers to join us in 2020, and in a way I still feel like they haven't played in Headhunters. But the pain is over for Nick. Just like that, he has one less league to worry about.
Nick, I would say that you'll be missed but we never really got to know you in order to miss you. So Nick, you'll be...gone I guess. Keep in touch?
Steve Blackman's Nun:
== New Releases ==
Even a broken clock is right twice a day and even a bad team has a couple of good players. Here are the top new guys hitting the market:
# Joe Mixon
# Carson Wentz
# Miles Sanders
# TJ Hockenson
# Keenan Allen
== Rules Reminder ==
Some quick key reminders as we hit our first bidding period:
# Budget for everyone is $1,000 and that is the season-long budget.
# I will approve all trades to ensure that they process in a timely manner during the waiver period.
# Tie bids go to the higher waiver priority. Your waiver priority is reverse order of standings.
# Score resets every week. You will be eliminated based on your single week total, not cumulative.
#If memory serves (which it usually does not), all the cut players will be on waivers through Wednesday and winning bidders will get their guy Thursday morning around 3am, giving everyone two days to place bids.
== Week One Results ==
Week One Results
Player 	Total Points
Out of Luck 	212.79
Hasta Laviska Baby 	207.59
Henry VIII 	197.58
Bobecue Chicken 	190.81
Neck-Fix and Chill 	182.20
Ya Hate 2 See It 	169.74
A Team Has No Name 	165.88
@FFDraftScott 	163.96
Cam Shaft 	160.02
It's Blitz! Track 2 	158.56
Last Coach Standing 	158.03
Clydesdales 	152.84
Shotti's Bugatti 	150.24
Bad Boys 	137.58
LiveWithIt 	135.75
Gore-ronavirus 	133.82
Carole Pigskin 	121.19
Steve Blackman's Nun	96.56
== 2019 Draft Dodgers ==
Before we start tracking this year's finishes based on draft position, let's look at how everyone did last season.
Team Results Based on Draft Position 
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	6
2 	Bad Boys 	9
3 	It's Blitz! Track 2	WINNER
4 	Bluedevils 	7
5 	Bobecue Chicken 	11
6 	Cam Shaft 	13
7 	Clydesdales 	1
8 	The Guilloteam 	15
9 	Philip's Team 	5
10 	Gore-ronavirus 	RUNNER-UP
11 	Henry VIII 	8
12 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2
13 	FFDraftScott 	3
14 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	10
15 	Out of Luck 	4
16 	LiveWithIt 	12
17 	A Team Has No Name 	14
I'm no data analyst, but I don't see any trend here. The two bottom teams lasted way longer than the top two, but then the 3rd overall pick won. I guess maybe better fantasy football players do better at fantasy football? Hard to say.
== 2020 Draft Dodgers ==
Team Results Based on Draft Position 
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Henry VIII 	ALIVE
2 	Bad Boys 	ALIVE
3 	@FFDraftScott 	ALIVE
4 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	ALIVE
5 	Out of Luck 	ALIVE
6 	Shotti's Bugatti 	ALIVE
7 	Clydesdales 	ALIVE
8 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	ALIVE
9 	Cam Shaft 	ALIVE
10 	LiveWithIt 	ALIVE
11 	Bobecue Chicken 	ALIVE
12 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	ALIVE
13 	Carole Pigskin 	ALIVE
14 	Last Coach Standing 	ALIVE
15 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	ALIVE
16 	Steve Blackman's Nun	1
17 	The Guilloteam 	ALIVE
18 	Gore-ronavirus 	ALIVE
19 	A Team Has no Name 	ALIVE
In 15th, our second-highest scoring team. In 16th, our lowest.
==Kings of the Castle==
===1. Out of Luck===
Not just yet their not. The auto-draft kid ends up with the top score in the league, proving yet again that humans outsmart themselves way too much and everyone should just let computers play fantasy football. We don't deserve fun anyway.
=== 2. Hasta Laviska Baby ===
Everyone knows the key to success is naming your team after a Jacksonville Jaguar. It also helps to have Josh Allen and Raheem Mostert combine for 82.31 points, almost enough to beat Steve Blackman's Nun on their own.
=== 3. Henry VIII ===
Strong showing from the Commish, who started benching players to cool down scoring and still finished in 3rd place. Getting production out of 286th overall pick Scotty Miller is definitely a plus.
=== 4. Bobecue Chicken ===
If a Bob finishes in the top five, but he doesn't start any Cardinal players, does it make a sound? I think that's how the question goes.
=== 5. Neck-Fix and Chill ===
Neck-Fix might be without a TE for week 2 but at least they have two backup QBs and three defenses to plug the gap.
== On the Chopping Block ==
=== 18. The Guilloteam ===
It's not nearly as bad as it looks for Guilloteam, who benched 51.75 points last night with Nuns elimination already locked in, but the potential loss of James Conner makes them vulnerable.
=== 17. Carole Pigskin ===
As a Jets fan it's almost poetic that they were let down by Tom Brady's performance. No matter what the situation, Brady will aways hurt you.
=== 16. Gore-ronavirus ===
Chris Jinx? With Bell out multiple weeks, Frank Gore now becomes the "lead" back in New York. Ronavirus started 6 players that scored 8 or less and had another five on the bench that scored below 5. I see an active week forthcoming.
=== 15. LIVEWithIt ===
Nate is on the verge of a fantasy football meltdown so we're going to only say nice things to him today. How about Big Ben, huh?...good pick!
=== 14. Bad Boys ===
It gives me no pleasure to see Bad Boys this low after one week, down Lev Bell and with no bench to speak of. They will outlast me because it is my destiny to be beaten by lesser foes.
== The Middle Children ==
Of note among the middle packers:
* Derek and Keeling pull of a week 1 trade for the second year in a row but it has little effect on the outcome of either's score.
* Keeling survives despite not drafting a defense.
* Zach opens his title defense in 10th place
* At close to 20 below projection, Scotty was the most underperforming team of the 6-13 group. He is among a handful of units who may be in the running for T.J. Hackysack today.
== Conclusion ==
That's all for this week. Next week we'll review the winning bids from this week. Be sure to check the group around 8pm on Sunday night for a spin of the Headhunters Wheel of Fate! Will this be the week we send two teams home?