News Flash: The First Day of School (transcript)

News Flash: The First Day of School
Season 13 (1981-1982)
Cast:
*Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog
*Frank Oz as Cookie Monster
*Jerry Nelson as Teacher (not seen on camera) and Announcer
Each year, Sesame Workshop updates its list of specific educational goals and objectives, often pertaining to problems facing the country today. The main theme of season 12 was going to school for the first time. Artifacts from this era include the LP Getting Ready for School, the season's premiere episode (1446), and this classroom coverage from Kermit.
 	
Announcer 	We take you now to Kermit the Frog, with another fast-breaking news story!
 	
 	A paper airplane zooms by as we pan across a crowded classroom full of monsters (among them are Maurice Monster and Elmo), over to Kermit, talking to the sound operator. Cookie Monster sits behind Kermit, looking around anxiously and biting his nails.
 	
Kermit 	(to sound operator) Uh, no ... mostly, uh, I think, like, I think I got mostly C-minuses, you know. I-I was sort of a late bloomer. What?
 	He notices he's on camera.
Kermit 	Oh, uh, oh, hi-ho, this is Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, and I'm speaking to you from inside a typical classroom on the first day of school. And what an exciting day it is for all these students as they look forward to another wonderful school year.
 	He gets out of his chair and walks around.
Kermit 	Let's see if we can talk to some of the happy students before the teacher arrives.
 	
 	He approaches Cookie Monster.
Kermit 	Uh, excuse me ...
Cookie Monster	(perks up) Uh, uh? Oh.
Kermit 	Uh, uh, wha-what's your name, please?
Cookie Monster	Uh, "Cookie Monster."
Kermit 	Cookie Monster, uh huh, a-and can you tell me, um, uh, how do you feel, what is going through your mind on this wonderful first day of school?
 	
Cookie Monster	(leans towards Kermit) Me afraid.
Kermit 	Afraid?
Cookie Monster	Yeah.
Kermit 	What is there to be afraid of?
 	
Cookie Monster	Well - what if teacher not like me? What if, what if me no can find pencil? (gasp, then whispers) What if me forgot where bathroom was? Hmm? (Kermit gulps) And what if teacher not understand me like cookies? (buries face in hand)
Kermit 	Yeah, uh, but, you're supposed to feel good about the first day of school.
Cookie Monster	Tha-that make it worse! Me only one who feel this way.
 	
Kermit 	(nods) Hmm. Y-you know, come to think of it, I remember feeling scared and nervous on the first day of school.
Cookie Monster	(softly) Yeah?
Kermit 	(to the other monsters) Any of the rest of you feel that way?
Monsters 	(random) Well - yeah. Yeah. Really scared. Yeah, I feel that way. Me too.
Kermit 	(nods) Mm-hmm.
 	
Cookie Monster	Yeah? You mean - you mean, me not only one who feel scared?
Kermit 	(shakes head) Nope.
Monsters 	(random, shaking heads no) No. No, me too.
Cookie Monster	Oh! Ohh! Me feel so much better! Thank you!
 	
Kermit 	Uh, uh, oh, oh, look, uh, he-here comes your teacher now.
 	All the monsters disperse and take their seats, including Cookie.
 	
Cookie Monster	Oh, oh, oh, oh ... (takes his seat, then whispers to Kermit) ... You know what? He not look scary.
Kermit 	No. See there? The-there's nothing to be scared of. I-I'm sure he'll understand if you forget things.
Cookie Monster	Even the cookies?
Kermit 	Mm-hmm. Even the cookies.
Cookie Monster	Oh, okay.
 	
Teacher 	Hello, everyone, I'm Mr. Morley. I'll be your teacher this year.
Kermit 	(to camera, softly) Uh, uh, I'll just tip-toe out.
Teacher 	Uh, young frog? What's your name?
 	Everyone turns and looks at Kermit.
Kermit 	Uh, uh, Kermit the Frog, sir, Sesame Street News.
 	
Teacher 	Kermit, would you take your seat, please?
Kermit 	Uh, but I'm afraid, uh, you see, you don't understand ...
Teacher 	(in a non-threatening tone of voice) I understand a lot of you are afraid on the first day of school, but that's no reason to leave.
Kermit 	(at a loss for words) Um ...
Teacher 	And now I'm going to show you your new books.
 	
Kermit 	(to camera, softly) Uh, this is Kermit the Frog returning you to your regularly scheduled program.
Teacher 	Uh, now Kermit, you can't talk and listen at the same time, can you?
Kermit 	Uh, no, sir.
 	
Cookie Monster	(to Kermit) Shhhh.
Kermit 	Ahem. (sits down)
 	THE END
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