Around the World in 80 Days (2004)/Transcript

[alarm bell ringing]
 
 
[man]
To the Bank of England! Quickly!
 
 
Surround the building!
 
 
You go that way! You go this way!
 
 
- [whistle blowing]
- There he is!
 
 
- Come on!
- After him, men!
 
 
[shouting]
 
 
[shouting]
 
 
That way!
 
 
- He came this way. I'm sure of it.
- Come on!
 
 
Come on, mates! Keep up!
 
 
Sorry, sir.
 
 
[metal clanging]
 
 
Today is the day I will finally achieve
what has been deemed impossible.
 
 
Man can break
the -mile-per-hour speed barrier.
 
 
And you're lucky
to be a part of it, Pierre.
 
 
- It's Jean Michel, sir.
- Yes.
 
 
We will make history.
Or we will die trying.
 
 
- Die?
- This is very exciting.
 
 
That's it!
I refuse to be catapulted,
 
 
electrocuted, or have my internal organs
disrupted any longer!
 
 
I quit!
 
 
He is a very sick man!
 
 
The electrocution was not my fault!
 
 
You refused to wear
the rubber underpants!
 
 
We're looking for a bank robber.
 
 
Is there no man brave enough
to be my valet?
 
 
Oh... Aah!
 
 
[groans]
 
 
I'm your new valet.
 
 
Uh... I must commend
the valet service
 
 
on their impeccable foresight.
 
 
But they know I only
accept French valets.
 
 
Yes. Oh! Oui! Oui!
 
 
I come from a long line
of French valets.
 
 
On my father's side.
Very, very French.
 
 
- But your accent.
- My father French. Never speak.
 
 
My mother Chinese and never shuts up.
All the children pick up her accent.
 
 
[steam hissing]
 
 
- [whistle blowing]
- Very well.
 
 
Will you be willing to risk your life
to challenge the laws of physics?
 
 
- Yes. Uh, and I can sing, too.
- Excellent. Pop this little hat on.
 
 
- He's got to be in here.
- He's this way!
 
 
[rumbling, hissing]
 
 
And the throttle in your
right hand controls the speed.
 
 
- How do I stop?
- Godspeed!
 
 
Uh-uh-uh...
 
 
Twenty-five miles per hour.
Yes, the pressure's stable-ish.
 
 
We need more speed, man.
 
 
Waah! Wee-yoo!
 
 
Forty miles per hour.
Hang on in there, my good man.
 
 
[screaming]
 
 
- Forty-seven.
- [groaning]
 
 
- Forty-eight.
- [whining]
 
 
Forty-nine.
 
 
Eureka! We've done it!
 
 
[screaming]
 
 
[screaming]
 
 
Uh...
 
 
Waaah!
 
 
I say, I say. Uh, good morning.
 
 
- I'm looking for a man with...
- Over here!
 
 
There he is. There's my valet.
 
 
- [screaming]
- [people screaming]
 
 
Sorry! New valet.
 
 
[screaming]
 
 
Whoa!
 
 
- [screaming]
- Whoa!
 
 
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
 
 
- [both screaming]
- You'll be able to let go any second.
 
 
The pack will run out of steam
 
 
in exactly three, two, one.
 
 
- Now.
- [screaming]
 
 
Look out!
 
 
- That was incredible!
- We've broken the human speed barrier.
 
 
[panting] Good-bye, sir.
 
 
It's been very nice valeting for you.
 
 
Let's... do it again soon.
 
 
Please, wait!
 
 
With you as my brave valet,
I can test all my inventions.
 
 
No!
 
 
[bobby] Spread out!
 
 
- Cover that...
- Yes, yes.
 
 
- I take the job.
- Splendid!
 
 
I can't wait to present
my results to the Academy.
 
 
[applause]
 
 
[man] Too kind. Too kind. Thank you.
 
 
And with this grant to develop
new applications for copper wire,
 
 
Dr. Ramsey invented this.
 
 
[gasps]
 
 
Needless to say,
the Royal Academy of Science
 
 
declared this crackpot
mentally incompetent,
 
 
and he was duly dispatched
to a lunatic asylum.
 
 
Sir. I have an urgent
announcement for you. Here.
 
 
Don't just stand there. Read it.
 
 
Oh. Um...
 
 
"It is with great distress
 
 
that Scotland Yard announces
 
 
that the Bank of England...
has been robbed."
 
 
[crowd gasps]
 
 
(yelling) My stolen Jade Buddha stolen!?
You blighter!
 
 
You gave me every assurance that the Bank of England was impenetrable!
 
 
Sir, sir, I said, “impregnable."
 
 
It's the same thing, you idiot!
 
 
- Please, please, not the quills!
- [shrieking]
 
 
Lord Salisbury!
 
 
Please contact General Fang
and inform her, no Buddha, no deal.
 
 
To forgo your obligation would
be dishonorable, Lord Kelvin.
 
 
A woman in the Royal Academy?
 
 
The Jade Buddha was delivered
by us to the Bank of England.
 
 
- What happens while in British hands...
- Is absolutely your concern.
 
 
Colonel Kitchner,
chief of Scotland Yard,
 
 
please inform General Fang
 
 
what other items were stolen
from the bank.
 
 
[whimpering] Nothing else.
 
 
Exactly. It seems
your little land dispute
 
 
has spilled over
onto our noble shore.
 
 
Until the Jade Buddha
is back in my possession,
 
 
you and your cause will receive no
British military assistance whatsoever.
 
 
Kitchner.
 
 
My agents will retrieve the Jade
Buddha once again, Lord Kelvin.
 
 
This time, do not let it
slip through your fingers.
 
 
A female general.
 
 
What sort of pathetic man
takes orders from a woman?
 
 
Cor!
 
 
- Come away from here.
- [boy] Oh, Dad. Can't we stay?
 
 
My wind-powered pulley system
 
 
circulates the house with fresh air.
 
 
Kitchen items are to be placed
on the white boat,
 
 
and the blue is for laundry.
 
 
But most importantly,
this supplies the house
 
 
with a running current of electricity.
 
 
Electricity.
 
 
This is my comprehensive
data schedule and list of regulations.
 
 
It's quite simple. You're never
to divert one iota from my plans.
 
 
I must live my life
with total efficiency...
 
 
to maximize my inventing capacity,
 
 
thus enabling me to do
the most I can for mankind.
 
 
Uh, Mr. Fogg, you are a noble,
precise gentleman.
 
 
Thank you. Uh... Sorry.
What was your name? Ahem.
 
 
Passport. Too.
 
 
Passepartout.
 
 
[whistles]
 
 
[Passepartout] Bottled light.
 
 
A miracle.
 
 
Hardly.
 
 
Just undiscovered science from
an American named Thomas Edison.
 
 
It turns on with a whistle.
 
 
- [whistles]
- [machinery winds down]
 
 
- [Fogg] Please don't do that.
- [Fogg whistles]
 
 
Ah, I see your eye is drawn
 
 
to what I hope will one day
be my crowning achievement.
 
 
A giant moth?
 
 
- It's a flying machine.
- It can fly?
 
 
Yes.
 
 
No. But it will... one day.
 
 
One day it will transport people
through the air.
 
 
Perhaps over entire oceans.
 
 
[whistles]
 
 
Uh-oh.
 
 
I'm going to have
to make a rule for this.
 
 
Dear Father:
 
 
I will find the fastest way
back to China...
to make our village safe once again.
 
 
[ringing]
 
 
Passepartout?
 
 
Departure for the Royal Academy
of Science in two minutes.
 
 
Prepare my urban transport device.
 
 
Prepare my urban transport device.
 
 
It's the shoes
with little wheels on them.
 
 
It's the shoes
with little wheels on them.
 
 
Clear the way. Clear the way.
 
 
Mr. Fogg coming through.
Watch out! Watch out!
 
 
Excuse me. Out of way.
 
 
- Gangway.
- Fogg's arrived.
 
 
- Gangway. Ooh!
- Hey!
 
 
That makes it exactly
ten minutes before noon.
 
 
That will be all.
 
 
Gentlemen.
 
 
Today I have proved that man
 
 
can break the 50-mile-per-hour
speed barrier
 
 
without disrupting his internal organs.
 
 
[murmuring]
 
 
Where is your Royal Academy of Science authorization?
 
 
What am I thinking? What a fool.
 
 
That would mean that you
were a real scientist!
 
 
[laughing]
 
 
By your definition, Kelvin,
a real scientist's objective
 
 
would be to prevent man from progress.
 
 
We live in a golden age, Fogg.
 
 
Everything worth discovering
has been discovered.
 
 
Yet ridiculous dreamers
like you insist
 
 
on a past filled with dinosaurs...
 
 
and evolution.
 
 
- [laughing]
- And on a future filled
 
 
with motorized vehicles,
 
 
radio waves,
 
 
and flying machines!
 
 
Confound it! The bloody
Bank of England is a madhouse!
 
 
Rumor has it the bloke's a foreigner.
An Asian chap.
 
 
Rumor has it the bloke's a foreigner.
 
 
Nothing.
 
 
Yes, I heard it was a Chinese fellow,
and he acted alone.
 
 
[whispering]
 
 
No. Actually,
they say he was Norwegian.
 
 
[murmuring]
 
 
In fact, though, it was a gang
of elderly Norwegians.
 
 
I heard it from a very reliable source
 
 
that it was a gang
of redheaded elderly Norwegians
 
 
with very tiny feet.
 
 
[murmuring]
 
 
It's about time
someone robbed that bank.
 
 
- [gasping]
- Like this very institution,
 
 
the Bank of England is outdated.
 
 
As usual, Fogg, your contempt for tradition is appalling.
 
 
You rest on your traditions,
if you prefer,
 
 
but, as with this bank robber,
progress waits for no one.
 
 
So now you're an expert
on the bank thief as well.
 
 
Give us the benefit
of your ineffable wisdom, Fogg.
 
 
Twenty-six minutes ago,
a ship left Dover for Paris.
 
 
From there, the thief
takes the Orient Express,
 
 
where he transfers to a steamer,
from Istanbul to India.
 
 
In little over a month,
that man could be in China.
 
 
If we're to believe Fogg's "calculations",
he will have circled the globe
 
 
and returned to England in a fortnight!
 
 
[laughing]
 
 
Actually, by my calculations, it would
be closer to, u,
 
exactly 80 days.
 
 
Outstanding idea.
 
 
Well, then, Fogg,
 
 
let's see you circumnavigate the world
 
 
in 80 days.
 
 
I... That would be
a fruitless use of my time.
 
 
I'm on the verge of numerous...
 
 
countless... scientific breakthroughs.
 
 
You coward. Admit it.
It cannot be done.
 
 
It can! I could do it.
 
 
A wager.
 
 
- £50,000.
- [clamoring]
 
 
Unlike you and your colleagues,
money does not inspire me.
 
 
I believe every man has his price.
 
 
Even you, o noble Phileas Fogg.
 
 
There must be something I could offer
that would be worthy of your time.
 
 
There is. 
Your position as head of the Royal Academy.
 
 
[clamoring]
 
 
I could lead Britain
and the rest of the world
 
 
into a new age of progress
and discovery.
 
 
[laughing]
 
 
- Fair enough.
- What?
 
 
I, Lord Kelvin, hereby vow
 
 
to surrender my position as minister
of science to Phileas Fogg...
 
 
- No!
- No! No!
 
 
if he can circumnavigate
the globe...
 
 
in no more than days.
 
 
But if he cannot,
 
 
he must never set foot
in this academy again,
 
 
he must tear down that abhorrent eyesore
he calls a laboratory,
 
 
and he must swear...
 
 
never to invent again.
 
 
Just as I always suspected, Fogg.
 
 
You promise so much, yet you deliver...
 
 
oh, nothing.
 
 
[laughing]
 
 
- I'll take your wager.
- What did you say?
 
 
I'll take your wager!
 
 
He did it.
 
 
Then it's done.
 
 
A man who has never set foot
out of England circling the globe.
 
 
[laughing]
 
 
This is going to be rather amusing.
 
 
History won't remember your amusement,
but it will be hard-pressed to forget
 
 
the moment I'm standing on the very top
step of the Royal Academy of Science.
 
 
- [bell tolls]
- By the strike of noon,
 
 
after I, Phileas Fogg,
have traveled around the world
 
 
in 80 days!
Category:Transcripts
Category:Disney Transcripts
Category:Transcripts not yet completed