The inspector gadget movie script

(this isn't all of it but whatever)
[Mechanical Whirring,
Buzzing, Clicking]
[Ringing, Whizzing]
[Siren Blaring]
[Women]
#Inspector Gadget #
# Ooh-ooh
Inspector Gadget #
[Horn Honks]
# Inspector Gadget #
- [Barking]
- # Ooh-ooh #
# Inspector Gadget #
# Go, Gadget, go #
# Go, Gadget, go #
[Croaking]
# Inspector Gadget #
# Ooh-ooh
Inspector Gadget #
# Go, Gadget, go ##
- [Man Yelling] Help!
- [Children Screaming]
- [Man] See you at the P. T.A. Meeting.
- ## [Whistling]
- [Woman] Good morning, Officer Brown.
- Morning.
- [Man]
Officer Brown! How do you do?
- Morning.
## [Whistling]
[Children Screaming]
[Screaming]
No brakes!
Help, Uncle John!
- Somebody help!
- Save us!
Help!
[Gasps]
- [Children Screaming]
- [Screaming]
Where's Officer Brown?
- [Squeals]
- [Grunts]
[Screaming]
- [Grunting]
- [Gasping]
- [Screaming]
[Gasps]
[Screaming]
Help!
[Children,
Crowd Screaming]
[All Gasp, Sigh]
- Hey, the dog!
- [All] The dog!
- [Dog Howls]
- [Crowd Cheers]
[Girl]
Oh, Harvey!
Officer Brown,
you're my hero.
Oh, please, miss.
It was nothing. Oh, geez...
All in a day's work, ma'am.
Any cop woulda done the same.
Brain? Yech.
[Laughing]
Having another hero cop dream,
Uncle John?
Every time I close my eyes.
How was school?
Fine.
Don't forget:
Tomorrow's the day parents
come and talk about their careers.
Oh. Well, I might have to work.
You want me to ask off?
Oh, no. That's okay.
Parents coming to school...
whose idea was that anyway?
- But if it's important to you, Penny...
- Did the letter come?
Letter? Uh, gee, well...
What letter?
I don't... Oh, yes.
They said two years as a security guard
isn't enough experience to be a cop.
- Uncle John, I'm sorry.
- Me too.
Well, I can still secure and protect.
I just think I could do
so much more good as a cop.
Hey, wait a minute.
Tomorrow's your day off.
Oh, well...
[Sighs]
Look, I know that
Nicole's dad is a lawyer,
and Kim's dad is a dentist,
and I just didn't want
to embarrass you with your friends.
If I only had that badge.
Uncle John, it's not the badge,
it's the heart behind it.
I'm very proud of you.
[Woman]
Fingers crossed.
This chip is gonna make
the whole Gadget project work.
- Dad, concentrate. Try to move the foot.
- [Sighs]
[Man]
All right. Kick the ball.
[Sighs]
Nothin'. I'm hungry.
Okay, all right. I'll go get us
some dinner. But then we keep going.
- Yeah.
- Okay. I'll call the guardhouse...
so they don't search
the deliver guy again.
Hello, Antonio's? Yeah, it's Brenda.
No, foot's still not moving.
- Dad, keep thinking about
that foot. Yep, the usual.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
## [Humming]
## [Continues Humming]
- [Gasping] Dad.
- Hmm? What?
[Brenda Stammers]
Tap your foot again.
- What?
- Huh.
That's weird.
Wh-What were you thinking about?
I was thinking about how much
you remind me of your mother.
[Snickers]
Wait a second.
Wait a second!
That's it! It's animated
by will, not by thought.
By your heart, not your head!
[Laughing]
- Come on, try it again. Do it again!
- All right.
[Laughing]
[Together]
We did it! We moved the foot!
- [Woman] Jack, queen...
- [John Whistles]
[John]
Brenda Bradford... she's so beautiful.
- Wowser.
- [Woman]
Black eight on the red nine...
- What?
- Oh, oh, nothin'.
I was just talkin' to myself.
Thelma, how do I look?
Like a geek from Kansas
who became a security guard.
- [Cat Meowing]
- [Man] Brenda Bradford.
Well, good evening, young lady.
It's been a while. [Chuckles]
- Four, three, two, one, zero.
- ## [Brenda Humming]
- [Watch Beeps]
- Go.
- Dr Bradford.
- Yes?
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I borrowed a book from your dad.
- You did?
- Power Learning Through Speed Study.
- Oh.
It took me forever
to get through it.
But I really think
it's gonna pay off, though.
I just applied
to the Riverton police force.
- Yeah?
- It's what I've always wanted to do.
- Help people, that is.
- Um, I gotta...
Dr Bradford is out
of the lab and we can go in.
Sikes, release the remote-control van.
[Electronic Beeping]
- Nice stars.
- Yeah? Which ones?
I just meant the whole...
- All of'em.
- Oh, I thought you meant
a specific cluster.
I always take everything
so literally.
- So do I.
- Yeah?
I forgot my keys.
- Oh.
- [Chuckles]
- I'm... Okay. Night.
- Sorry. Good night, now.
[Sighs] Well, I'll just stay here,
then, and, uh, secure the parking lot.
[Tyres Screeching]
Concentrate, you twit!
Hey, that guy's speeding.
Ten miles an hour
in the parking lot, buddy!
- No-no-no-no, straight ahead!
No, left!
- Bad cat. Bad cat.
Left, Sikes, turn!
- What was that?
- We have an intruder
on the premises... a black van.
- Where?
- Try that big hole in the wall!
[Gasps]
Brenda.
- Huh?
- Hello, Artemus. I'll take that.
Oh, no, wait.
No, no, no, no!
- Now, just a moment... [Gasps]
- Arrivederci, Professor.
Uh-oh! Someone's gonna
blame the old lady.
Sniffy, let's go.
[Sobbing]
Dr Bradford, I won't rest until
lfind whoever's responsible.
Justice will be served.
Brown, where are you going?
- To catch the bad guys!
Stand back, Thelma!
- This isn't going to end well.
- You're not on duty, Brown!
- I'm always on duty!
[Sighs]
[Laughing]
[Chattering, Yelling]
[Horn Honking]
Oh, no. We're being chased
by the hatchback squad.
[Laughs]
Hey, I have a hatchback.
Ooh. Oh!
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
Whoa-oah!
Now you've crossed the line.
Pull over, you!
- Stop the car, Sikes.
I want to enjoy this.
- [Laughing]
Oh, gosh! Oh!
- [Laughing]
- [Laughing]
[Laughing]
Uh-oh.
# Yahoo #
Attention!
Driver of the wrecked limo...
attached
to the Yahoo! Billboard,
this is
Security Officer John Brown.
Please step out of the vehicle
immediately...
or... else.
Fine work,
Mr Security Guard. You got me.
- Here. Have a victory cigar.
- No, thanks.
Remember:
Smoking kills.
- I don't smoke.
- Oh, really? You will now.
[Laughing]
[John]
Oh, boy.
[Screams]
[Shrieking]
My hand!
Pardon me! Excuse me!
Comin'through!
- Hey, have you seen
my uncle, John Brown?
- Uh, he's in there.
Uncle John?
Please wake up.
I know you can hear me.
Look who I brought to visit.
Look, it's Brain.
He came to see you.
Okay. No.
Not in his mouth, Brain. No. No.
Okay, stop.
We're lookin'at extensive
tissue damage:
44 fractures,
a major concussion,
all coupled with
extensive internal trauma.
This man tried
to save my father.
His risked his life
to protect our work.
- We've done all we can.
- Not yet, we haven't.
- Mayor's coming through!
Clear the way!
- Dr Bradford!
Clear for the mayor!
Dr Bradford, both I and
Police Chief Quimby here...
- Hi.
- Are very sorry to hear
about your father.
- He was a good man.
- Oh. D-Did you know him?
No, I didn't.
So, how soon can you finish
the Gadget project, hmm?
I'm sure that he would have wanted me
to finish it as soon as possible.
- Mmm. Oh.
- Yeah. With the, uh,
"English Patient" there?
- That's enough, Quimby.
- Sorry. Just doesn't look like
you got off to a good start.
[Laughing] So, how can you be so
sure that this is the proper subject?
Dad told me that I would know
when the right man came along.
John Brown's the right man.
- Well.
- Well.
That's good enough for me.
[Laughs]
Let's go.
[All]
Hmm.
- Chain saw!
- Waxy build-up, stat.
- Bring in the hoses, stat!
[Surgeons Continue Noisily]
[Man]
Ready, and... break!
It's a thing of beauty,
Quimby.
The future of law enforcement
reborn before our very eyes.
Yeah... Columbo and Nintendo
all rolled into one.
He'll make you obsolete:
No overtime, no hazard pay,
no blue flu. [Laughs]
And he won't call me
"Evil Gidget" behind my back.
Oh, by the way, what do we have
on the Artemus Bradford murder?
Well, we got a limo
with no licence...
and some scrap metal from whatever
it was that broke into the lab.
- Do we at least know what was stolen?
- According to Doctor Bradford,
- a robotic foot.
- Robotic foot.
- A robotic foot?
- Yeah.
What kind of cyberfreak
are we dealing with?
[Man]
Not bad, Kramer.
- Not bad at all.
- [Relieved Sigh]
It's got a sort of postmodern
Captain Hook kind of feel to it.
Very diabolical.
[Chuckles]
I deserve
a dashing appellation.
"Dashing Appalachian"? What is that?
A hillbilly with a tuxedo?
- No, you idiot!
- No!
[Chuckles]
It's a nickname...
one that will send my enemies
cowering in fear.
Ah.
Ah, too bad
"Hook" is taken, huh?
- How 'bout..."Captain Claw"?
- Oh.
- No, no, no, no, no...
- Or "Santa Claw."
Just "Claw."
One word,
like "Madonna."
Well, anyhoo, Captain...
Sir... Mr Claw,
I know how much you like
to maintain an active lifestyle,
so I have managed to design...
a few interchangeable options.
- Hi, hi. [Laughs]
- Oh, very clever, Kramer.
[Mocking]
"Very clever, Kramer."
- Very clever, indeed. [Chuckles]
- [Gasps]
Well, first we have
the opera hand...
for those special nights out.
And I know how much
you enjoy Japanese food,
so I made you a sushi hand...
see there?
[Mimics Eating]
Tasty.
- Hmm.
- [Nervously] Also,
I don't remember if you enjoy
the medieval fare, but...
Kramer, that's enough.
Sikes, bring on the foot.
- [Shrieks, Sighs]
- Oops.
Hmm?
[Mechanical Whirring]
[Metallic Clang]
[Popping, Whizzing]
- [Chirping]
- What the...
What have they got me on?
Ooh! Ooh!
Oh, my... Oh! Ooh!
[Screams]
[Shrieking]
- I, um...
- Your thumb's on fire!
- I seem to be having a reaction.
- [Shrieking]
- Mr Brown.
- Oh. Oh, it's you.
It's all right.
It's all right.
- [Panting] Um, I, uh...
- [Mechanical Noises Continue]
I don't know what's wrong.
I, uh... I seem to be ill,
and I can't remember anything.
You may not remember very much
right now. You suffered a major
concussion in the explosion.
- What happened?
- You've just come out of
a very long recovery.
You are now a sophisticated network
of tissue, hardware and software.
No! I gotta get outta here.
Mr Brown...
Mr Brown, come back here.
We're gonna go in...
I'll take...
[Gasps]
[Panting]
Look, Mr Brown, I know
that this is all new for you,
and it must feel strange.
- [Mechanical Whirring]
- You will adjust.
- My head is very heavy.
- Don't worry. That's easy to fix.
[Grunts]
I don't wanna be like this.
I don't understand
what happened to me.
John, we saved your life.
I'm not me any more.
I'm a hardware store.
This is a huge opportunity.
You were designed...
as the first prototype
cyber police officer for
the Riverton Police Department.
You said yourself you wanted
to help people... this is your chance.
- I do want to help people.
- I know.
- Aiyee!
- Oh!
- [Coughs]
- I'll be with you every step
of the way.
Okay. I'd shake your hand
but you might lose an eye.
Man] An android of this quality
could have a myriad of uses:
Shock troops,
kamikaze pilots, hit men.
International rescue workers,
teachers.
Oh, yes. I was getting to them.
Well, let's see him in action, huh?
Okay.
Oh, I'll strap myself in.
Okay.
Turn me on, Kramer.
[Grunting, Straining]
Move, darn you!
Move!
- [Straining]
- It's a lemon.
Thank you for that, Sikes.
- You put it on. Come on.
- Why can't he do it?
He's capable of intelligentthought.
That's useful to me.
[Chuckles]
Now, strap you in.
Perhaps if we give him
maximum voltage.
- [Moans]
- Yeah, that might work.
[Yelling, Moaning]
I want my...
mama!
[Continues Yelling,
Whimpering]
Something got left behind.
What does Brenda have that I don't?
[Brenda] This is the single
most important component:
The neurone synapse amplifier.
It's a high-powered
processor chip...
that increases the charge
in the human brain wave...
enough to move the machinery
that's now built into your body.
Without this chip... the most
powerful robotics chip in the world...
your body couldn't
possibly function.
- Any more questions?
- Nope, I'm fine.
Guess it just takes
a little getting used to, you know?
Good. Then I will just give you
your manual to study.
[Springing,
Bird-Cawing Sounds]
Volume one.
Mm-hmm.
Looks like the usual stuff:
Extendo-legs,
helicopter hat.
- Guess I'm all set then.
- Right. Oh!
There's one more thing.
I almost forgot. It's important.
Your new wardrobe.
The Gadget suit.
Okay, so if you want to operate
one of your gadgets,
you simply say "Go, go, Gadget,"
and then you name the device.
Well, couldn't I say
something more official, like,
like, "In the name of justice."
[Giggles]
Well, you could, but it wouldn't work.
But "Go, go, Gadget,"
sounds so...
My father designed
the programme, and he...
Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh!
It's "Go, go, Gadget."
- I really like it.
- Okay. Good. I'm glad.
So, okay, let's say there are two guys
trying to rob a jewellery store,
and you wanted to trip 'em up...
what would you do?
- Okay, uh, let me think.
- ## ["Jeopardy!" Theme Plays]
Go, go, Gadget...
oil slick.
That's not oil,
it's toothpaste!
- Ooh! Ooh!
- [Laughing]
[Laughing]
Stop it!
- Whoa!
- Say, "Go, go, Gadget, stop"!
- Go, go, stop!
- We're gonna need
some more work with you.
## [Humming]
Try to visualize your goal.
Concentrate.
Put all other things
out of your head...
except obtaining the balls.
Okay.
He's just like
the "Six Million Dollar Man."
[Sighs]
- [Screams]
- [Screams]
- Wha-What?
[Falsetto]
Ungrip! Ungrip! Turn it off!
[Chuckling] Well, I guess
$6 million doesn't buy what it used to.
- [Swami ContinuesScreaming]
- Excuse me.
[Falsetto] He is not a man,
you know. He is a monster.
I've got something special
to show you. Ta-da!
The Gadgetmobile.
- Wow.
- It's for you.
I made it myself.
- Come on.
- You made me a car?
The only thing anybody's
ever made me before is a sweater.
All right.
Now, it may look simple,
but this thing has just about
as many factory extras as you do.
Come on!
Get in there!
- Oh...
- Watch the coat. Okay.
[Mechanical
Whirring, Beeping]
[John]
Gosh, she's incredible.
- Oh, it's a he.
- Excuse me?
You'll see. Okay, now, it has
voice activation, ejection seats,
a power-assisted metamorphiccamouflage
system, a cardio-homing device.
- Then there's a periscope, a candy...
- Dr Bradford,
there's something
I just have to ask you.
- Oh, just say, "Go, go, Gadgetmobile."
- Yes, but will you...
- "Go, go, Gadgetmobile"?
- Good morning, Riverton!
Hey! Who's in the car?
I work alone.
Hey, before we hit the road,
I gotta tell you somethin'. Duck!
- [Gasps]
- I don't think the car likes me.
Who you callin' "car"?
I'm a crime-fighting machine.
Watch this. Left turn!
- Haven't you fallen out yet?
- No, sir, I haven't!
- Who are you, rookie?
- I'm Officer John Brown,
and you're exceeding
the speed limit.
Speed limits are for cars,
not the Gadgetmobile.
- Are you talking to me?
- Speakin' of the law,
who's not wearing a seat belt?
- Gotta wear the belt, baby!
- Hey!
It's a Disney movie. Now, I'm gonna
fight me some crime. Whoo!
[Gadgetmobile]
More left turns!
Could you slow down, please?
L... I get carsick.
You know what makes me
peoplesick? A rookie thinkin'
he's good enough for Dr B.
Not that it's your business,
but what makes you think I was
putting moves on Dr Bradford?
Hey, I've got heat sensors.
I know what you were thinkin'
when Dr B. Gave you that smile.
Now, look here. Come clean with me, or
I'm gonna bounce you right outtahere.
I can assure you my only interest
in Dr Bradford is professional.
[Gadgetmobile Laughing]
"Professional," huh?
Well, good. Keep it that way,
and that's an order.
- You got it?
- Uh, I'm the inspector, you're the car.
I'll tell you what you are.
You're the... [Blubbering]
Don't make me go
"De La Hoya" on you!
Isn't there an "off" button
or something? A "mute"?
- Oh!
- Sorry, sir!
Don't push my buttons withoutreadin'
the manual! Ooh, watch out there, now.
- Whoa!
- [Gadgetmobile Laughs]
- Hmm?
- Aw, man. I got a june bug
in my grille. [Spits]
[John] Shouldn't we be working
together, helping people?
- Why didn't you say so?
- [Tyres Screech]
- [Gasps]
- Yo, Clouseau... 9:00.
- Left, you idiot!
- Over the lock!
- Shut up and let me do it.
- Very observant, Gadgetmobile.
- Time to do some good.
- [Thieves Continue Arguing]
- Lost your keys, fellas?
- Uh, keys... Yeah, keys.
- Allow me to help.
- Say "bye-bye" to the rookie.
Here.
This ought to do it.
- Oh. Thanks.
- Yo! Check out the bowling shirt!
Huh. I'm a bowler myself.
You work at the prison?
- Uh, yeah. Work at the prison.
- [Gadgetmobile Whispering]
Psst! Gadget!
I'll be getting into the law
enforcement bowling league too.
- There you are. Drive carefully.
- We'll see you.
That's it. I can't take it any more.
Step away from the Viper!
- Hey, what's the big idea?
- Open your eyes! We got
a couple of jailbreakers!
Well, then, we should inform
the prison guar... Wait a minute!
Let's split up. I'll go after 'em,
and you say "ten-four."
- Ten-four!
- [Siren Blaring]
Go, go, Gadget... coils!
Skates!
I meant skates!
- [Gadgetmobile]
Come here, Carl Lewis.
- Uh, halt! Forward!
Oh, for cryin' out loud.
Go, go, forward, please!
Oh, for Pete's sake!
Halt!
- [Grunts]
- Hello. Sit back and enjoy the bars.
You'll be lookin' at 'em
for the next 20 years. [Laughs]
- [Panting]
- Oh! Ooh!
Uh-oh. Oh, gosh!
Ooh!
Go, go, Gadget...
[Muffled] grappling hook!
Whoa!
[Crowd Cheering]
Wowser!
[Man On TV] The Riverton Police
Department has a new cop on the beat.
- Here's Tira with the story.
- In an incredible display of courage,
Riverton's first cyber-crime-fighter
heroically apprehended...
two escaped convicts
this afternoon in the downtownarea.
The soon-to-be inspector will be
inducted into the Riverton
Police Department...
at a gala event tomorrow night...
Why, it's that annoying little
security guard from the institute.
... Riverton's much admired
budget surplus to fund...
So he's the lucky duck they pluckedfor
the Gadget programme. Ha! Ironyabounds.
[Sikes]
That's my cruller! Gimme that!
- [Crashing, Cat Meowing]
- [Chuckles]
- Sikes!
- Yes, boss?
Get my tuxedo ready. Tomorrow
promises to be quite an evening.
So, anyone special
going tonight?
Well, the mayor,
the governor.
Any doctors?
- Doctors?
- You know, female doctors...
very attractive
female doctors.
Wowser.
- [Crowd Screams]
- [Tuba Blares]
- Is it that obvious?
- [Sighs] Come on, Uncle John.
You just need to...
Ioosen up, be cool.
- You been talking to my car?
- What?
- Huh. You'll see.
- [Chuckles]
- [Penny] Fire!
- Wrong finger.
- Careful.
- [Sneezes]
[Crowd Laughing, Chattering]
Excuse me. Inspector,
may I have this dance?
Oh. Why, sure.
Yeah. You betcha.
Uh, here.
Let's see if I still
know how to do this.
[Laughing]
[Crowd Gasps]
Not bad, John Brown.
May I cut in?
Hello. Sanford Scolex.
We were at Harvard together.
- We were?
- Oh, you don't recognize me.
That's because I've changed.
I was obese.
[Chuckles]
Maybe you remember me better like this.
- [Brenda Gasps] Yes!
- [Laughs]
Wow!
Well, it's nice
to see you again.
- Here you go.
- You look...
different.
- [Chuckles]
- [Coughs]
Well, I'll go get us
some champagne.
Oh, great idea! Three flutes
of bubbly, please, Mr Gizmo.
[Chuckles]
We'll be right here.
You know, Brenda,
I'm not at all surprised
you've become such a renownedscientist.
You were always the most
brilliant one in school.
- [Brenda Chuckles]
No, I was a hard worker.
- Oh, I remember.
I used to watch the way
you wrinkled your little nose,
concentrating on calculations.
- You did?
- Mmm. You took my breath away.
- I... did.
- Brenda, dance with me.
- You remind me of a thing
Godzilla once said.
- [Whooping]
Tell me, what will you do now that
the Gadget programme is completed?
- Ooh. Oh.
- Huh?
[Crowd Gasps]
You're done with the Gadget thing.
Come and join me at ScolexIndustries.
- [Crowd Marvelling]
- [Woman] We'll be right here.
Ahem.
I could only carry
two glasses.
Oh.
A bientot, ma cherie.
[Slurps]
Ahh!
John, h-he just
offered me a job.
He said that I would have
unlimited funding,
my own lab...
and complete control
of all my research.
But what about
your other research?
The Gadget programme... are you sure
you've worked out all the bugs?
Well, um...
Oh, how touching.
The creator and the creation.
[Laughs]
Excuse me, Inspector,
but the press would like to take some
photos of us with our boys in blue.
Let's go. [Singsong]
Photo op. Okay. Come on.
- [Quimby] Get ready, boys.
Here's the dynamic duo.
- The camera is your friend.
- Watch the birdie!
- Get a big smile!
Chief, if you don't mind
my asking,
when do I get started
on my big case?
[Chuckling]
Oh, soon enough, Gadget.
I have a few assignments for
you to cut your teeth on first.
- Big grin. That's it.
- Inspector! Over here, please!
[John] I've got to talk to the chief.
He's not taking me seriously.
Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, rookie.
Nobody likes a whiner. Now,
what are you gonna do about it?
I'm ready to get tough...
real tough.
- [Cop] Here comes Gadget.
- Hey, that your new partner, Gadget?
- What you got, a cat burglar?
- A real felon, huh?
- The city's safe now.
- Cat got your tongue?
Inspector Gadget reporting,
sir, with the 13th...
that's a baker's dozen... kitten
I've pulled out of a tree this week.
- [Meowing]
- So?
- Permission to speak freely, sir.
- No.
- [Kitten Meows]
- Well, if you're gonna pout.
Thank you, sir.
What I want to say is that,
while I appreciate cute and fluffy
as much as the next officer,
I fear that the kitten-rescue patrol
is a misuse of my capabilities.
Huh. You know, I don't get it,
Gadget. Every time you...
I won't be happy
until I've brought the murderers
of Artemus Bradford to justice.
Ah. And I won't be happy
until you're off the force,
and being sold, piece by piece,
at some garage sale.
- [Kitten Slurping]
- I want that case, sir.
Well, I'll tell you,
the problem is the Bradford case
requires real police work,
- and the fact is, you're not
a real police inspector.
- [Kitten Belches]
You are not a real policeman.
You arejust a publicity stunt
that we have to put up with.
So, why don't you just
about-face...
and get out of my office.
[Kitten Whimpers]
Okie-dokles, sir.
I've pretty much completed Prometheus
per your specifications,
and, I must say, the likeness
is really quite convincing.
Good. Imitation is the sincerest form
of flattery, Kramer.
Isn't that Dr Brenda Bradford's
private data?
Oh, yes.
I tapped into her files
and stole her research.
Why would you do that?
[Imitating Kramer] "Why would you
do that? Why would you do that?"
[Cackling, Sighing]
- [Grunting]
- Ah. Oh, oh.
Kramer, don't look
so nonplussed.
Now that Dr Bradford is part of
the Scolex team, we share everything...
or at least we will.
Oh, well, I think sharing files is a
great way to bring the company together.
You know, make sure we're all singing
off the same song sheet, so to speak.
Imagine my relief
to have your support.
Anyway, sir, like I said,
without the chip, I don't think...
Oh, so you made the chip.
- Hey, that looks just like
the guy we almost killed.
- Oh, I didn't hear that!
Chips ahoy.
- [Gasping]
- [Mumbling]
- [Sikes] Wow!
- [Kramer] Oh, sweet Lordy.
- Good morning, Robogadget.
- [Mumbling]
You havejust been animated...
by the most complex computer
technology in the world.
- What are you going to do now?
- [Bell Dings]
- I'm gonna kick some butt.
- [Gasping]
- [Laughing] Very saucy.
It looks so real. Yow!
- Oh!
- [Cackling] Very good, yes!
Oh, Robo, nothing
can stop us now!
Gotta make my own case.
B, B, B, B, B, B, B...
Bradford.
[Whirring]
Go, go, Gadget...
magnifying glass.
Increase magnification.
Increase magnification.
"Si."
Go, go... Spanish translation.
- [Computerized Voice]
"Si" means "yes."
- I knew it!
[Whirring]
Inspector Gadget,
can I have your autograph?
- Got any money?
- Uh-uh.
- [Shouting]
- [Screaming]
Ah!
[Laughing]
- [Radio]
#Hey, now, you're a rock star #
- Yeah!
# Get the show on, get paid
All that glitters is gold #
- # Only shootin'stars
break the mould ##
- So I'll rule out the Spanish.
But what else could "Sl"stand for?
"Space Invaders"?
- Nah!
- "Scuba Instructor"?
- No!
- Hey, how about "Super Idiot"?
- No, that's not it.
- Uncle John...
- I love you, but I think
you have a loose wire.
- [Laughing]
Oh, what about that?
"Scolex Industries."
Hello. Finally, there's
a detective in the house.
Wait a minute. If Scolex stole
the foot, then Scolex murdered Dr...
Oh, no! Brenda!
[Gadgetmobile]
Time to work!
- [Tyres Squealing]
- Can you find the Scolex building
from here?
- Or should I call the police?
- I am the police.
- Hey, wait. What about me?
- [Gadgetmobile]
You're smarter than he is.
Stay in the car.
I don't mind baby-sitting you, Penny,
but please tell the beagle
that that's an armrest, not a chew toy.
[Man On TV] Inspector Gadget
apparently has gone berserk
in the downtown Riverton area.
Eyewitnesses told me
that he was laughing...
- while he maliciously stacked
these four cars.
- What's gone wrong?
Other reports indicate that he's
already caused a major traffic accident,
destroyed private property and set fire
to an elderly man's beard.
Go, go, Gadget... grappling hook.
Whoo!
[Screaming]
- [Television Reporter Continues]
- John!
What happened?
I'll go get Scolex. Maybe he can help.
Brenda, it's not safe here.
Scolex is a liar and a thief and...
Let's just say
he's not a very good guy.
Go home!
Lock your doors!
Stay alive!
Whatever happens, I will find you.
Oh, too far!
Whoa!
[Screaming, Thudding]
That hurt!
[Groaning, Coughing]
Wowser. I knew it.
You'll pay for this, Scolex.
Go, go... suction shoes.
Hello?
Hello?
Sandy, is that you?
- [Gasping]
- Wow!
- I finally get to meet you.
- Y...
- Sandy built me to your specifications.
- You're me?
We are like totally twins.
You must be Brenda. Sandy was right.
I'm you. Only prettier.
We probably share brain waves. Are you
thinking about gelato right now?
'Cause I am.
I gotta go find John.
Don't you wanna hang out?
[Snoring]
John!
[Laughing]
Outside! It's so beautiful!
Hey, Brenda, let's hang out, okay?
Have some quality girl time.
[Continues Snoring]
Gotcha!
- [Beeping]
- Whoa!
[Screaming]
- Huh?
- Go, go, Gadget... blades.
- Huh?
- [Grunting]
We have a blader.
Repeat...
[Continues Indistinct]
- [Grunts]
- You can run, but you can't hide.
Go, go, Gadget... brake!
- [Grunting]
- [Cackling]
[Whirring]
Smile!
- John!
- ## [Singing]
- # I got a wild wild life #
- Don't you ever stop?
Oh, this is so much more cool
than hanging out in that lab.
All Sandy ever wants to
talk about is that grossfoot.
[Electronic Giggling]
- What foot?
- The one he stole
and copied to make me.
Brenda, I'm programmed
to be a cheerleader.
- [Crowd Cheering]
- Watch!
Ready? Okay!
# B-R-E-N-D-A #
# Brenda
That spells Brenda ##
[Voice Trails Off]
Greetings, Inspector.
Glad you could drop in.
- I owe you one, Scolex.
- Oh?
You blew up me and my Chevette,
and I really liked that car.
Well, you crushed my hand,
and I really liked that hand,
so, go, go...
get over it.
I don't know what you're up to, Scolex,
but you'll never get away with it.
[Cackling]
Oh, how cliche, Inspector.
I think somebody's been watching
too many Saturday morning cartoons.
- Hmm?
- Huh?
Huh?
Unfortunately, Gadget,
in the real world,
evil quite often prevails.
I'm afraid so.
Pull him up.
Now, look how your replacement
is helping people...
- [Cackling] to cross the street.
- Hey.
He looks just like me.
I don't get it.
- Why would you do this?
- To make teachers!
- Shut up!
- Oh. [Whimpering]
I'll tell you why.
To make technowarriors that
never get tired, never get hungry...
and never say "no."
Every army in the world
will be made up of my creations.
Imagine the confusion,
Gadget, huh?
Imagine the perks.
Comprende?
Yeah, I comprende.
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
I comprendo.
Yo comprendo.
Conjugate the verb,
for pity's sake.
Pull the N.S.A. Chip
before he butchers another language.
You're kidding, right?
Okay. You see? He's always kidding.
- I never know.
- This time no.
I want to make sure nobody else
can develop their own android.
Do it, or you'll
be building yourself a new head.
- Oh.
- [Chuckles, Grunts]
"New head."
Okay, I am not here
right now.
I am on the beach with dolphins,
and, oh, hi, look at this starfish.
I don't feel so good.
I'm sorry, Gadget. Good help
is so hard to find these days.
Would you mind
if I do the honours?
Well, here goes.
Arrivederci. Ciao, ciao.
Goodbye, Mr Chip.
Dump this idiot in thejunkyard.
Yes, boss.
[Cackling]
Oh, no, not that idiot. This one.
[Grunts]
Oh, I wish you'd be more specific.
There's an awful lot
of idiots around here.
- [Computer Keys Clicking]
- Attention, Robogadget.
Destroy the city
and have some fun.
Okay, boss.
You with the beard, come here.
- Hello? John? Anybody home?
- [Tyres Squealing]
You sit back and enjoy
the ride, Penny. I'm driving. Ha-ha.
Remember, kids. I'm a professional car,
so don't try this at home.
- Penny, where's your uncle?
- I thought he was with you.
[Sighs]
This is bad.
Come on, Penny. We gotta find him.
There's something rotten in Riverton.
Where you going, Gadget?
The chief is very upset with you.
I'm gonna have to arrest you.
Hey! Get your hands off me!
- [Screaming] Officer down!
- Strike!
Next time you pay for a Gadget,
don't forget the extended warranty.
- [Knocking]
- What?
Let's talk, Chief.
[Clicks]
Sure. What do you... What do you want
to talk about? Politics?
The Florida Marlins?
L-I know you're upset
about yesterday.
That was the job talking.
The truth is...
I want you... I want you
on the Bradford case.
In fact, l-I want you
to lead the Bradford case. I think...
[Together]
Freeze! Hold it right there!
- Shoot him!
- [Yelling]
Adios, boys!
Whee!
# Wild thing #
# You make my heart sing #
# You make everything #
# Come on, wild thing ##
- [Growling]
- [Screaming]
[Growling, Laughing]
Ladies, I don't like
the looks of this.
What would UncleJohn
be doing here?
I mean... Are you sure we picked up
the right signal?
Of course I have
the right signal.
You know I have Lo-Jack
on my father's side.
- [Growling Continues]
- [Screaming Continues]
[Screaming In Japanese]
[Gadgetmobile]
Uh-oh, I don't like this.
- See, I know what dogs do
when they're nervous.
- Stop!
- Uncle John!
- [Brenda] Penny!
Uncle John!
[Grunting]
- Penny!
- Uncle John!
[Grunting]
No! Uncle John!
Wake up!
Please, don't tell me.
No.
The N.S.A. Chip is gone.
He doesn't need the chip.
He's got the heart.
He can do it all by himself.
[Whimpering]
Hmm?
## ["Inspector Gadget"
Theme Plays]
Can't be.
- John?
- Uncle John?
- Can you hear us?
- He's alive.
Brenda.
- Penny?
- You're alive.
L- It's a miracle.
He doesn't need the chip.
It's my uncle John,
that's what it is.
- [Grunts]
- Whoa.
- Whoo.
- [Barks]
- [Giggles]
Way to go, rookie.
We'll make a cop out of you yet.
Buckle up, kids, and stick
some newspaper under that beagle.
This engine's only got two speeds:
"Fast" and "Whoo, what was that?"
- Where's Scolex?
- I'll find him. You drive.
Let's see what you can do,
Gadgetmobile, 'cause I feel
the need... the need for speed.
[Penny Giggling,
Screaming]
Now, if I'm home late, it just means
it took a little extra time...
to overthrow Scolex's
evil empire, okay?
- [Penny] Okay!
- [Gadgetmobile] Later, Penny.
[Brenda]
Left turn!
Right turn!
[Screams]
Where'd they go?
Heads up, baby!
Evil dude's limo at 12:00.
- Left turn!
- Got it! Okay, take the wheel.
- Right!
- When I give you the signal,
slow down.
Okay! [Panting]
Okay. Whoo!
- Now!
- [Grunting]
[Groaning]
Gotcha!
- Nice aim, Doc!
- Thank you.
You're under arrest for the murder
of Artemus Bradford, Scolex.
- God, you're irritating.
- And you...
you're under arrest
for impersonating a police officer.
- [Chuckling]
- Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
Get rid of him.
[Cackling]
You just ran a stop sign.
Whoa!
Hot, hot, hot, hot.
Hot foot. Hot, hot, hot.
Oh, whoo!
Go, go, Gadget... skis.
Go, go, Gadget... snow.
Go, go, Gadget... water.
Go, go, Gadget...
Mommy!
- Hmm?
- Whoa!
[Gasping]
[Laughing]
[Gadgetmobile]
Hey, stretch, pull over.
[Cackling]
[Gasps]
Hey, you don't bump the Gadgetmobile.
The Gadgetmobile bumps you.
I'll go get him, boss.
Sit tight.
[Grunting]
[Brenda And Gadgetmobile]
Watch out behind you!
[Robogadget]
We're gonna have some fun.
[Gadgetmobile]
I'm gonna make you into a compact.
Whoo!
Time for a bat turn.
- Don't lose that limo!
- On the case, Doc!
## [Western]
[Robogadget]
You know how to dance, don't you?
Actually, I was taking lessons
not long ago, in the hope...
- Shut up and dance!
- that one day l...
- Uh-oh.
- [Cackling]
[Bullets Clanging]
[Chattering]
Go, go, Gadget... air bag.
- Oh, Sikes, you lost her.
- I'm gonna try to find her, boss.
It's not good, sir.
[Gadgetmobile]
Let's use the element of surprise.
Oh, surprise.
Brenda, what
a pleasant surprise.
- Brenda, Brenda.
- You!
Stop, Claw!
Brenda, Brenda, Brenda. You know,
I love it when you call me "Claw."
- So what's new?
- Hello... You killed my father!
[Grunting]
[Whirring]
- Time.
- [Whirring Continues]
- Gadget here.
- It's about Brenda, partner.
- Yeah?
- Scolex is taking her to the roof.
I'd save her, but I can't
fit in the elevator.
I'm on my way. You know what they
say about nice guys finishing last?
- Huh?
- Well, they were wrong.
Go, go, Gadget...
oil slick.
Toothpaste?
Whaa!
What happened to you?
Let me put it this way.
I got the Skittles kicked out of me.
I'll be right back.
- Oh. Penny, why are you here?
- Evidence!
[Growling]
Hey, Gadget.
It's a clip-on.
[Robogadget Laughing]
Okay, Brain. No, no, no, Brain,
you go that way. I'll go this way.
[Groaning]
I gotta destroy the evidence.
Why couldn't it be a finger?
I could be working
at my dad's store right now...
selling nails, hammers
and power drills.
Yes!
Power drills rock!
Get in there!
[Groaning]
- [Metal Clanging]
- [Grunting]
- Well, who are you?
- Whoa, there, big boy.
- Um, hi, there.
- Hello.
Why's that foot
in the toilet?
I was, uh, cleaning it.
So what's your name?
Uh, I'm Sikes.
You know, Sikes, you look more like
the kind of guy who should be, um...
uh...
helping someone pick out
good weather stripping.
My old man had
a hardware store.
- [Phone Ringing]
- [Robogadget] Telephone!
It's mine.
- Hello?
- [Girls] Hi, Mr Gadget.
- Nicole and Kim, how'd you get
the number of my hand?
- From Penny. Is she there?
Penny isn't here right now,
but you can call her at home, okay?
- She's not home,
but we'll try her again.
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
- What do they mean, she's not at home?
[Screaming]
Whee, whee!
Oh! Oh, no!
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh!
[Cackling]
I don't get it, Claw.
What's your plan now?
Since my dreams for
a global robotic empire...
- [Brain Growling]
- [Screaming]
Mongrel! My pants!
Oh, God!
Mongrel.
Next thing you know...
Next thing you know,
you're a minion.
[Sobbing]
You're a minion.
I'm a minion.
Ooh! Oh!
Ow, ow!
Uncle.
- Hey, hey, don't touch that.
- [Crowd Gasping]
Hey. Hey,
what'd you do that for?
We shouldn't be fighting.
We've got a lot in common,
except I've got nicer teeth.
I'd hoped that we could've
worked together, been partners.
Together, you and I could've...
[Imitating British Accent]
R-r-ruled the world.
You should've quit
while you were "ahead."
Cannonball!
[Laughing]
- Ooh!
- Ooh-la-la!
[Women Whooping]
Go, go, Gadget... chopper.
Contact.
[Wheezing]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa-oa!
How do ya... whoa...
fly this thing?
Oh! Oh, no!
Go, go back.
Up, up, up, up. Good, good,
good, good. Oh, bad, bad, bad.
[Screaming]
My hair!
Sit back and relax, darling.
[Clicks Tongue]
[Screaming]
Whoa! Hey! I can see
my house from here. Whoa!
Two things, Scolex!
One:
You are completely insane.
And two:
I liked you better fat.
- [Gasps]
- [Meows]
Bring on the brownies!
Hah!
Wheel in the waffles!
I'm ready to binge! [Laughing]
Darn! That fellow
will not give us a break!
For the third time... Sanford Scolex,
you are under arrest!
No!
Go, go, go, go, go, go,
Gadget!
[Scolex Cackling]
- John!
- Oh, no!
Let me give you a lift. [Cackling]
Where can I drop you off?
I'd answer, but I doubt
you really care.
John! I'm up here!
Take my hand!
Hi, John. How are you
doing down there?
- John!
- [Imitating Brenda] "John!"
[Brenda] John, I know you can
save us! Think of something!
I'm working on it.
Hurry!
[Grunting]
[Swami's Voice Echoing]
Try to visualize your goal.
[Gasping]
[Yells, Screams]
Back to the drawing board!
Brenda, jump!
Right on my back!
Oh, Brenda, don't jump. For God's sake,
we can work this out, darling.
- Sweetie pie, really!
- [Screaming]
My God.
Me... I'm out of control.
[Brenda Screaming]
Go, go, Gadget... air brakes.
Go, go, Gadget... aeroplane.
I don't know what
to go, go any more!
Didn't you read the manual?
Try something else!
Go, go, Gadget... glider.
Go, go, Gadget... balloon.
Go, go, Gadget... parachute.
Go, go, Gadget...
giant trampoline.
Go, go, Gadget... circus net.
Go, go, Gadget... featherbed.
Go, go, Gadget... hay wagon.
Go, go, Gadget... bubble wrap.
Go, go, Gadget... parasail. Parakeet.
Paraglider. Parasol.
- Umbrella?
- John, you did it.
- You saved our lives.
- I did? I guess I did.
Wowser!
- Just watch out for the big head.
- Understood.
- You know, arrogance
can sneak up on you.
- No, that big head!
John!
Are you okay?
Gadget.
Oh, hello, Brenda.
Are you breathing?
I think so.
How's your central vallecular
equilibrator feeling?
It feels pretty good.
And how's your auto-axle
lubricator functioning?
It's functioning fully.
- Oh, Gadget.
- What is it?
- Is my occipital piston slipping?
- No.
I just never realized...
what beautiful brown eyes
you have.
[Scolex Screaming]
It's a high-fly Scolex.
The Gadgetmobile pulls under it.
The crowd's going crazy.
- He makes the catch!
- [Meows]
- We made it!
- Ladies and gentlemen, Scolex
is out and that is the game!
Final score:
Gadgetmobile... one,
Scolex... zippo.
And the fans rush the field.
[Chuckles]
No autographs, please.
Please, y'all, come on, now.
- Freeze! Get back!
- Gentlemen, there's been
some kind of a mistake.
[Penny]
Chief!
Oh, sorry, kiddo. I'm gonna have
to place your uncle under arrest.
- Freeze!
- Don't move, Gadget!
Well, I just thought
you'd wanna know...
that Sanford Scolex
created an evil version
of my uncle to terrorize Riverton.
- Is that true?
- Every word of it.
She's an amazing young woman.
She held up a mirror to my misguided
ways in the service of Mr Scolex.
I'm sorry, Chief.
Here's the foot.
I didn't know any better.
Et tu, Sikes?
- Cover him, men!
- [All Grunting]
[Gadgetmobile]
They're all yours, fellas.
Wowser.
Excuse me! Press! Excuse me!
Mayor on the premises.
The shepherd needs her sheep.
Yes, it is a credit to myself
and my administration...
that we had the courage to believe in
and initiate the Gadget programme.
- [Chattering]
- [Scolex] Arrivederci, Gadget!
This is not goodbye.
I'll get you next time, Gadget.
I'll get you.
Wowser.
[Gadgetmobile] A happy ending.
What could be better than true love?
- Ooh, cute little bug.
Wait up, fraulein.
- [Honking]
Did you know I speak German?
Fahrvergnugen, baby.
# Inspector Gadget #
Hello, and welcome
to Robobrendaerobics...
where I'll be your host, Robobrenda.
Follow me. It's gonna be fast.
And kick, and kick, and kick...
And kick, and kick, and kick,
and fall.
# Inspector Gadget #
# Inspector Gadget
Ooh-ooh #
# Inspector Gadget #
# Gadget
Inspector Gadget #
Hi. My name is Sikes.
- [Together] Hi, Sikes.
- And I'm a minion.
But it's been 30 days since
I last kissed up to anyone!
[Cheering]
# Go, Gadget, go #
This is the coolest watch.
It's a radio, a computer, even a phone.
Testing, testing.
Brain, say something.
Come in. Over.
[Don Adams' Voice]
Brain is not here.
Please leave a message
at the sound of the woof. Woof!
[Beeping]
Hey, thanks for watching
my movie.
Yeah, my movie. Even though we
called it Inspector Gadget.
I know you all are wondering...
things with the Volkswagen
are working out real good.
We got married in Las Vegas
in a drive-through chapel.
We're expecting
a little subcompact any day now.
Thinking of calling him
"The Love Bug,"
which is in no way a plug for my
employer, the Walt Disney Company.
Although when our little one is old
enough, his first words will be...
"I'm going to Disneyland!"
But don't any of you leave
for theme parks just yet.
All these fine people in
the credits made me look good.
# You can call me
when you want me #
- # If you need a friend you got me #
- # I'll be your everything #
# Fulfil your every dream #
# We can do it automatic
I just call out Go, go, Gadget #
# I'll be your everything #
# You'll see I'm everything
you want and more #
# I knew
the moment that we met #
# I had to be a part of you
Someone you won't forget #
# So don't say
I'm like the other few #
# No matter what's going down
you'll find me next to you #
# Girl, I'll be your Superman
I'll do what no one can #
# You'll find that I'm
the everything that you need #
# Deep down inside of you #
# No matter what you do #
# You'll see I'm everything
you want and more #
# You can call me
when you want me #
- # If you need a friend you got me #
- # I'll be your everything #
# Fulfil your every dream #
# We can do it automatic
I just call out Go, go, Gadget #
# I'll be your everything #
# You'll see I'm everything
you want and more #
# No sweat
The Claw is on his way #
# Don't worry about him
catching you #
# Don't even be afraid #
# Somehow, some way
I'll find out what's the deal #
# And I'll be there to rescue you
You'll see that I'm for real #
# Girl, I'll be your Superman #
# I'll do what no one can #
# You'll find that I'm
the everything that you need #
# Deep down inside of you #
# No matter what you do #
# You'll see I'm everything
you want and more #
# You can call me
when you want me #
# If you need a friend
you got me #
- # I'll be your everything #
- # Girl #
- # Fulfil your every dream #
- # Everything you want and more #
# We can do it automatic
I just call out Go, go, Gadget #
# I'll be your everything #
# You'll see I'm everything
you want and more #
- # And more #
- # Everything, girl #
# Don't you know #
# Call me when you want me #
# I'm gonna be there, baby ##
[Gadgetmobile]
Wow, you made it through credits,
and we didn't offer you
anything for free.
Movie audiences are
the best audiences in the world.
Now, get out, go home.
Leave, vamoose. You got to go.
I am tired. Please, go home.
Go home, go home, go home.
Good night, Riverton!
Category:Sillyness
Category:Movies
Category:Pottery
Category:OVA
Category:Gaming
Category:Stuff that turns me on