The All-New Improved Universal Beverage and Snack Machine

I don't know what it was. Some sort of weird delusion? A culmination of stress from days of little sleep and caffeine-spiked semi-consciousness? I can get pretty addicted to coffee. But I'm not even sure what really happened last night, that moment when I left that conference building in Manhattan. Still, I remember everything. Sometimes I wake up at night with that warm, bitter taste in my mouth again, and I'm not sure if it's some sort of recurring dream. But it keeps happening, and I know I've been going back for more. It's happened over ten times a month since it began two months ago.
“You sure you have a ride?”
I rolled my eyes. “Dude, just leave already.”
My colleague retorted, “It's half past midnight, kid, and this is NYC. Pretty shady stuff can happen in the city.”
I tapped my watch. “Julie will be here in fifteen minutes, and my sis is always on time. I'll be fine.”
He got into his cab, flashing me an annoyed look. “Alright, try not to get mugged out here. See you later, kid.”
“Whatever, Chad.” I watched his taxi maneuver around the parking lot and then screech down the street.
Then it was just me, alone in a deserted parking lot. Everyone had already left. There weren't any public benches of any sort, and I soon got bored standing and waiting. First I played Candy Crush, but my phone shut off inexplicably after five minutes, even though I remember charging it to full that morning. 
With nothing else to do, I started looking around. Just ten feet away, I noticed a large, blue and lime-green vending machine that I hadn't seen before. I must not have been paying attention. Since I was bored, I decided I'd waste a dollar buying some overpriced snack just to pass the time. Julie was taking a long freaking time to get here, anyway.
It was a really weirdly designed machine, with all these carnival lights and little kid button-things, like a clown-themed Nintendo game on crack. It looked like it was marketed to six-year-olds who liked tie-dye and an overdose of colors. Across the top, it said, “THE ALL-NEW IMPROVED UNIVERSAL BEVERAGE AND SNACK MACHINE”, in big, bold capital font. On the right side, it looked normal, with a bunch of letter buttons, a coin slot, and a change dispenser. There was a compartment that the cups and drinks probably came out of, and a push-in safety door thing you'd see on most snack vending machines.
On the left, it got pretty confusing. What the heck did "USAM" stand for? Or "BRI" and "CADA", for that matter? It was a weird menu in varying colors and fonts. There were columns and columns of initials and I had no idea what any of them meant. I'm guessing they all stood for some shit, and that whoever designed the stupid machine must've needed more space.
Whoever made the thing must have been a raging sociopath, too, because everything was extremely overpriced. Apparently, USAM cost $21,000 — I thought I had miscounted the zeros or something, but I checked it a few times, and that's exactly what it said. Is stuff seriously more expensive in the city, or has inflation suddenly gone up when I wasn't paying attention? RUSA was $10,000. CINA was cheaper, about $1,000. IDA was $500. I looked through the list and found one I could actually pay for. KNYA, $5. 
I unfolded the paper bill from my wallet and shoved it up into the dollar slot. The machine bzzzzzzed for a second, and then the screen blinked, flashing out, "/PAYMENT ACCEPTED/". I pushed out the letter buttons to spell KNYA and hesitated. I was probably just wasting money, out of boredom, too, which made doing all this pretty pointless. Julie was probably going to be here any minute now.
But I'd already stuck with it so far, and who knew if this shitty machine would even give my money back. I pressed the bottom marked CONFIRM.
I'm not making this part up, I swear. I heard a gunshot and a child screaming and screaming and screaming. I stood there in shock, my hand still on the button, and the machine started to move, vibrating and grinding and churning and gurgling like a washing machine with a brick thrown into it.
Thunk. A paper cup dropped into the compartment. The screaming didn't stop. It went on for a while, relentless and pleading and never-ending. There were choking sounds, and suddenly, red. So much red. It was like cherry soda, but thicker and redder as it poured out into the cup in gallons and gallons and overflowed and kept going, frothing down the side of the machine and pooling around my shoes. Red liquid that smelled like blood. It didn't seem like it was going to stop. I just stood there and shut my eyes and tried to stop hearing as well, but the screaming wouldn't stop and kept going and going.
There was a gasping sound, and then nothing but the trickling of the machine. Drip, drip, drip. Then silence.
I opened my eyes. I was standing in a pool of blood, in front of that vending machine, my hand on the bloodied cardboard cup still in its compartment. On its side, in slanted, orange, bubbly writing, it said, "KENYA – EXOTIC NEW TASTES, AT THE GREATEST PRICES, BROUGHT TO YOU FRESH", with cartoons of trees and animals and stick figures.
I felt like I was going to vomit.
There was a rattle, and I heard the thud-thud-thud-thud of other parts dropping down within the bottom of the vending machine, probably against the snack door. I didn't even need to look to know what they were.
The machine shuddered again, a belated, final groan. Plop. A small splash. A few drops spilled and ran down the sides and my hands.
I picked up the cup. Floating on the surface, staring back at me before it sunk down, was a human eye.
Forty-five minutes later, I was in the front seat of Julie's car. “Sorry about being late, little bro. There was a weird power outage and the streetlights and traffic lights stopped working. I would've called, but my phone's not working.” 
I stayed silent.
“I know you're pissed, but I got here as fast as I could.” 
She glanced at me, then made a turn. I stared forward dispassionately.
“So, are you gonna finish that coffee, or what?”
Category:Items/Objects
Category:Mental Illness
Category:Dismemberment
Category:Weird