Queen crazysponge

queen crazysponge is the thirteenth and last episode of Season Four of CrazySponge Died: The Series.
==Transcript==
[September 6, 2022. Establishing shot of Buckingham Palace. CrazySponge is inside wearing a crown. A squire approaches him.]
CrazySponge: Ah, Cyril, my good man! Have you prepared my morning Cheerios?
Squire: Sex with animals? There’s no time, man!
CrazySponge: Eh?
Squire: Eh?
CrazySponge: Have you done my Cheerios? Yes or no?!
Squire: Actually, Queen CrazySponge-
CrazySponge: It’s actually Queen CrazySponge the Second, thank you.
Squire: My apologies, but actually, Queen CrazySponge the Second… we have a visitor.
CrazySponge: Hm?
[Liz Truss bursts through the doors.]
Liz Truss: Wait, this isn’t the pork market!
[Laugh track]
CrazySponge: ZAMN! LOOK AT THE HONKERS ON HER!
Squire: Queen CrazySponge, that’s prime minister Mary Elizabeth Truss.
CrazySponge: I don’t care what she is, I want a piece of her cake!!!
[Liz Truss approaches Queen CrazySponge.]
Liz Truss: It’s an honour to meet you, your majesty. 
[Liz Truss curtsies for the Queen.]
CrazySponge: And it’s an honour to meet you, my scrunkly.
Liz Truss: Sorry?
Squire: Queen CrazySponge here is a big fan of your work.
Liz Truss: Well, I do pride myself in all I’ve done to help the pork markets. And dehumanise transgender people, of course.
[Laugh track.]
CrazySponge: Remind me, why are you here again?
Liz Truss: You’re supposed to officially appoint me as the new prime minister, right?
CrazySponge: I don’t fucking know, I’m the queen. People usually do all this shit for me.
Squire: Just say she’s the new prime minister.
CrazySponge: What if I don’t want to?
Squire: Just do it!
CrazySponge: But I don’t want to!
Squire: DO IT OR YOU’RE NOT GETTING YOUR CHEERIOS!
CrazySponge: Fine. She’s the new prime minister.
Liz Truss: LET’S FUCKING GO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIZ TRUSS SWEEP!!!!!!
[Liz Truss fires a bunch of airhorns. CrazySponge’s mouths starts watering.]
CrazySponge: Wow…
Liz Truss: I say this calls for a celebration! Care for a drink, your majesty?
[Liz Truss hands Queen CrazySponge a very unsuspicious glass containing a purple liquid.]
CrazySponge: …what the fuck is this?!
Liz Truss: Don’t worry, it’s not poison or anything. Perfectly safe to drink.
CrazySponge: Oh okay.
[September 8, 2022. Kate Middleton is pegging Prince William.]
Prince William: HARDER, KATE, HARDER!
Princess Kate: I’M AS DEEP IN AS I CAN GO!
[The Squire walks him. Kate stares at him, balls deep inside William.]
Prince William: …well somebody better be dying!
[Cut to Queen CrazySponge lying on his deathbed.]
CrazySponge: I’m dying.
Prince Charles: LET’S FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prince William: Charles! Be respectful!
Prince Charles: Be respectful? BE RESPECTFUL?! I’m bouta be the motherfucking King in five minutes! 
CrazySponge: I never even got my Cheerios…
Prince Harry: It’s gonna be okay, grandmother. We all knew this day was coming.
CrazySponge: Which one are you again?
Prince Harry: I’m Prince Harry, the ginger one.
CrazySponge: Fucking loser.
[Prince Andrew bursts in.]
Prince Andrew: Whew! Sorry I’m late, I was at Pizza Express again and DEFINITELY not doing unspeakable things to underage women.
[Laugh track.]
CrazySponge: Mmm-hmmm.
Prince Harry: Grandmother, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but… you’re dying! Shouldn’t you be more, I dunno… concerned?
CrazySponge: I die in every episode of this show, I’m used to it by now.
Prince Andrew: What did he just say?
Prince Charles: Mother’s old and senile, don’t listen to him.
CrazySponge: I am NOT old and senile!
Prince Charles: Well you are infinity plus three years old.
CrazySponge: PLUS FIVE! I AM INFINITY PLUS FIVE YEARS OLD!
[Suddenly, Liz Truss bursts in.]
Liz Truss: LET’S GOO- I mean, sorry, but I heard that someone was dying?
CrazySponge: MY SCRUNKLY! YOU CAME BACK!
Prince Harry: What the-
Liz Truss: Ohhh no, we’re not dating. He just calls me that because he’s a perv.
CrazySponge: Well that is true.
Prince Harry: No, I meant how did you know that Queen CrazySponge was dying? We haven’t sent anything out to the public yet…
[Everyone stares at Liz Truss.]
Prince Andrew: (raises an eyebrow) Hella sus if you ask me…
Liz Truss: You’re literally a nonce.
Prince Andrew: And I’m DAMN good at it too!!!
[Prince Andrew takes out his wallet and passes a couple £100 notes to Liz.]
Prince Andrew: Here, please don’t let this get out.
Liz Truss: No thanks, I only accept lower class tax money.
Prince Andrew: You could invest this in the pork marke-
[Liz Truss snatches the money from Prince Andrew. Queen CrazySponge starts coughing loudly.]
CrazySponge: Welp, here we go again.
Prince Harry: Grandmother… please don’t go.
CrazySponge: It’s okay, Andrew, I’ll be back next episode probably being shoved inside an oven at a pizza place or something I don’t know.
Prince Harry: …my name’s Harry.
CrazySponge: I don’t care…. You know, I’m not scared of dying… it’s just that I will miss you all so muc-
[Liz Truss pricks CrazySponge with a needle.]
CrazySponge: OW FUC-
[Queen CrazySponge fucking dies. His heart monitor stops beeping.]
Liz Truss: …is he dead?
[Princess Kate feels for a pulse. There is nothing there.]
Princess Kate: He’s dead.
[Liz Truss pulls out a bottle of champagne from behind her back.]
Liz Truss: FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!
[Liz Truss smashes the bottle on the floor. A disco ball drops from the ceiling, and flashing disco lights go off throughout the palace.]
Liz Truss: PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIG-
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