S07E22: The Gang's PR Campaign is Apparently Working

== Previously on MCVFD ==
We are in the magical land of Warrior’s Rest, a subdomain of Limbo where various warriors go to meet their eternal reward of endless conflict. We are here specifically to rescue the staff of a Gith monitoring station.
There’s a crew of apparently hapless Gith warriors who drifted into Warrior's Rest. We then learned they were killed and then respawned on the Yellow team. Traditionally there are only Red and Blue teams, though teams do splinter and factions form as disagreements happen (i.e. a cyan faction might form), but in general there are only 2. When there are more than 2 groups, things get a little tense that the other two teams are going to gang up on them. A tripod set-up is unstable, as the teams suspect the other two of getting ready to gang up on them.
We’ve learned that the Yellow team is a relatively new faction. They have grown rapidly, and stabilized as Red and Blue figured out what was going on. Through one of Averlyth’s Scryballs, we saw that the Yellow team was led by a big beefy dude wearing a gold dragon mask similar to what Biggaboat was wearing.
We’ve also acquired a group of gladiators, who joined our team because we killed them the previous day. When they asked us what our team color was, we chose black, causing all of our armor to be dyed to black from the neutral tones they had become when we first entered the land.
We were last discussing a variety of strategies for how to increase our headcount: day-time raids (though we would be out-numbered), strategic attacks (pick out a patrol or two, grow slowly), diplomacy (negotiation with Blue or Red?), or something sneakier (though the gladiators didn’t like that). We are all snacking on the endless pastries in the pocket meeting room, and our goal is to recover the Gith by killing them so they can respawn on our team and we can leave with them.
== Session ==
The group brainstorms options in more detail.
We could just assassinate the Gith with a fireball/fire strike/etc. and leave (most efficient)
We could figure out our best options for direct combat (most approved by our gladiator friends)
We could poison the camp food so everyone is at a disadvantage from food poisoning before we fight them normally (it worked for us once before)
We could airdrop poison vials with notes to invite the Gith to kill themselves to join our team?? (Kanye’s suggestion)Kanye: Wait, I can fly!
Nissa: We’ll swoop in at the low low cost of all of your blood, get me 90 feet away from the Yellow Camp, and then I’ll cast FireballAfter half an hour, the group lands on possibly the most concrete plan we’ve had in awhile:
# (Optional) Um sneaks/flies into the edges of Yellow camp to confirm the location of the Gith via walkie talkie
## Alternatively, Um is on babysitting duty and is responsible for keeping Amadeus + friends occupied in the meeting room while the rest of us execute a plan they wouldn’t approve of
# Averlyth casts Enhance Ability with Bull’s Strength on Kanye so that his carrying capacity is doubled
# Kanye carries Nissa and Averlyth to fly above the Yellow Camp
# Once we’re in range, Nissa casts Fireball, Averlyth Flame Strikes
# Kanye lands, and Nissa and Averlyth will both cast Lightning Bolt from our Bracers
# Averlyth teleports Nissa and herself out, Kanye does as much damage as possible
# If Kanye dies, we trigger the deadman switch on the explosive he’s carrying the next day so he respawns on Black
We suddenly remember a mechanic of Warrior’s Rest was that the gladiators’ bodies don’t resurrect until buzzers sound at the end of the day. If we nuke the Gith out of orbit overnight, they won’t get back up until the next evening. While the gladiators on team yellow would let them walk to our base overnight, we suspect the leader of team yellow is also an outsider, and might not play by the rules.
After a lot more debate about our back-up plans, last resorts, and game mechanic edge cases, Averlyth casts Enhance Ability on Kanye. He feels stronger than ever! Nissa climbs into her harness, he picks Averlyth up, and then he fails to lift off the ground.Power Armor: It looks like you are attempting to carry more than usual. Would you like to use an entire battery cell to overclock the jets? OR this could take a pint of blood :)
Kanye: I am aware.Kanye nobley opts to drain a fully charged cell out of 5 available, and then we take off for the Yellow team’s location.
The camp appears as it did in the Scryball - the gladiators are rowdy and partying around campfires, enjoying the evening. We see one tent where there appears to be a morose looking group, 100 ft down the hill from the tent with the yellow team leader, nicknamed Gold Mask.
Nissa plugs in her bracer, strokes her lute and plays Flight of the Valkyrie as she casts Fireball.
A 40ft sphere erupts over the Gith campfire, catching all of the Gith as well as 4 or 5 gladiators at neighboring camps. 3 of the Gith made their saving throws, so only the other 2 died. All of the gladiators hit took damage but are not dead.
Averlyth uses the Bracer ability Haste to jump the initiative line and cast Flame Strike on the remaining 3 Gith. It kills 2 of them - the third looks up, and we swear we see him whisper “please finish killing me”.
Averlyth marvels at her creation, then leans in and suggests to Kanye “you should land on him”.
Kanye charges in from the sky and crushes the remaining Gith, killing him.
Nissa is seatbelted in the harness and used to sudden altitude changes. On the other hand, Averlyth is not used to this, and goes sailing through the air into a yellow tent full of sleeping gladiators. She’s now surrounded by a bunch of angry dudes.
Kanye is now on the ground, deciding what to do.Kanye: Which one looks deadest? Can I hit him? He? She? They? OH first I am going to introduce myself.Kanye triggers the glitter cannons as he announces himself. He knows he’s absolutely nailed the entrance, and he expected people to have heard of him by now, and yet he’s still surprised to see his intimidation strategy works exactly as intended: all 3 of the gladiators that got burnt - as well as the guys in the tent - all drop their weapons and run away.
Nissa is confused and Kanye is swimming in emotions. Averlyth realizes that the PR plan to convince people in Limbo that we’re stronger than we actually are might actually be working in our favor this time. 
We are still surrounded by hundreds of gladiators, but Kanye now has a clear path up the hill and no obvious targets within range. As he considers moving 100ft towards Gold Mask’s tent, he hears a chime in his ear and a pleasantly helpful voice.Power Armor: It looks like you are trying to go fast. Would you like to double your speed, to reach your destination in 6 seconds?
Kanye: How much does it cost to go fast?
Power Armor: A pint of blood :)
Kanye: Haha uhhh how many pints of blood do I have?Kanye starts moving towards Gold Leader’s tent at a non-blood-enhanced pace.Kanye: I make robot stomping noises while I do this BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM 
DM: You’re actually IN a robot suit, you don’t have to make the sound effectsNissa, who had dismounted from Kanye’s harness before he started stomping towards his next target, found a direction to shoot off a Drakeguard Bracer Lightning Bolt at. A bunch of tents are now on fire, some campfires burning hotter than previously, and there are now 7 pretty unhappy guys. 2 of them dodged, the other 5 were scorched about a quarter of their health.
The gladiators have started moving towards us, realizing the direction of our attack. Inspired, Averlyth follows Nissa’s lead and also summons a lightning bolt from where she’s standing. She hits 7 different guys, dealing a similar amount of damage.
In the light of the fire, we can see that everyone looks pissed - unlike the cheerful, happy aggression during the day, the gladiators appear absolutely infuriated that they’re under attack at night. Unlike the happiness we saw from Amadeus earlier, we get the feeling there won’t be any congratulations from our victims when they respawn.
A large man wearing a gold mask walks out of the leaders tent, looking around to see what all the commotion is. Without a moment of hesitation, Kanye barrels straight into him.
Kanye tries to hit him with a glaive - he rips it out of his hand and throws it onto the ground behind him.Kanye: that’s fine, I have moreAfter briefly evaluating all his options for dealing the most damage as possible quickly, Kanye pulls out his flaming longsword and casts Need for Speed to get double the actions per turn. With apparently steroids and good luck, he manages six flaming slashes on Gold Mask, including 2 critical savage strikes.
Gold Mask is now super bloodied.
After the DM re-reads the description of “Need for Speed”, Kanye takes an action surge to get 3 more actions this turn. He hits one, misses one, then burns a superiority die.DM: I love that this is Kanye showing us what he can really do
Kanye: I want him to hit the ground before the glitter stops fallingWith another heave, he lands a fatal blow on Gold Mask. Kanye: (rolls). 15!
DM: He dead!
Kanye: Ok i’m going to hit him one more time
DM: ???Kanye snatches the gold mask off of the body for his personal collection. We don’t recognize the face underneath, it’s just a big beefy dude. He picks up his glaive and starts proceeding down the hill, back towards Nissa and Averlyth.
At the bottom of the hill, Nissa plays “Fire Starter” on her lute and then points her finger, sending another Fireball at the gladiators behind Kanye. A huge fireball erupts at the crest of the hill, engulfing numerous gladiators and leaving charred husks behind. She ends her turn moving towards Averlyth, until they’re back to back and ready for the teleport out.
Before we know it, we’re all swarmed by about 8 gladiators each. Half of them hit us on average, but each hit twice, resulting in about 80 points of bludgeoning and piercing damage for all of us. Kanye receives slightly less due to some resistance from his power armor.
Heavily bloodied, Averlyth crouches down to grab an unconscious Nissa, and then casts Dimension Door to teleport out of the chaos to a spot she remembered seeing from the Scryball just outside of the yellow camp. She luckily manages to end up in a dark spot, and stays unseen.
Kanye remembers he can fly and lifts off from the camp with his power armor. With the added AC from Need for Speed and a ridiculously high base AC, none of the 8 spears that stabbed up at him manage to get him.
As he departs, he gently sprinkles MCVFD coasters onto the furious crowd below.
We reunite at the Black Team portable meeting room/office. Kanye offers the gold mask to Averlyth.Kanye: Might I suggest putting this on the Medusa skull on the back of your chariot?
Averlyth: Yes, but only if we wash it firstThe next day, we have no real difficulty surviving the day. A handful of half-hearted attacks come at us, and there are rumors about weird lights over the yellow team from the night before?
Eventually it’s dinner bell time and we once again hear “Fighters, arise and join your new teams”. Down the road, we see a stream of formerly yellow team members marching towards us. The unmasked Gold Mask looks absolutely pissed, and the rest of the gladiators also don’t look too happy that they were defeated in dishonorable combat.
We now have a rather large team of gladiators walking into our base, all changing their armors to black.
Nissa walks up to Gold Mask dude and says “Mr Boat I presume?” He acknowledges curtly.
She attempts to interrogate him, bluffing that we beat Biggaboat. He doesn’t believe it for a second, and absolutely refuses to talk. Nissa manages to bluff about how we have Queen MJ and the entirety of the Fey Realm on our side, and that there’s nothing He Who Sleeps can do about it.Biggaboat’s brother: Did you really beat my brother?
Nissa: Yeah, he even had a thing with Kanye over here.
Biggaboat’s brother: That I believe. winks at Kanye
Kanye: I flourish my playing cards!
DM: Is… that what you think he found compelling about you?Nissa asks if he’d like to be relocated somewhere else “until it all blows over”. He doesn’t entirely understand what’s going on, having expected something more like torture, capture and/or punishment? She points out that he’s totally failed at his mission as we’re clearly superior, so he might as well just dip and do something else, and that we’re happy to help him with that.Biggaboat’s brother: This is the most confusing loss I’ve ever had. Are you offering me a paid vacation?
Nissa: WE HAD A MORALITY ARC.Nissa asks if he’s interested in being part of the Gith pirate crew that we hired in a previous mission. Against his better judgment, he shows interest. After some hesitation, he agrees to be part of the crew. We decide his name is Tinyboat, and Nissa points him to Woodhouse, who runs all of our paperwork, to get him onboarded.DM: Now there’s a whole bunch of angry gladiators surrounding you, it’s time you guys explain what’s going on.
Averlyth: No it’s not, we’re promoting Amadeus and leaving.
Amadeus: YAY!
Kanye: Welcome to team Black! You have chosen or were chosen to join us! If you would like to keep fighting, follow Amadeus! If you would like to leave, follow me!All the Gith follow Kanye, everyone else follows Amadeus.
Kanye looks around for a gift to leave with Amadeus.Amadeus: “No no, you know what i want, we were talking about it earlier today and we never got to do it. I want you to throw me into battle.”
Kanye: YES!!Kanye hucks Amadeus towards the Blue team, and we hear him screaming “THIS IS AWESOME” as he sails away.
We’ve decided that the next leader of Black Team will also be promoted by being thrown into combat. It’s unclear whether or not this tradition will really be continued as we just tossed the current leader into a conflict where he was outnumbered.
After getting Mr Tinyboat set up, we decide to head to Barnstable’s portal vendor so we can pay Qualish a visit.
We open the door to his office. As always, Kanye announces himself, the Mindflayer flips him off, and we invite ourselves into the garage where we find Qualish standing in the middle of a circle of now mostly completely custom vehicles. They’re clearly still not 100% ready but as we walk in, he says “oh good you’re here! Come on over here, I have paperwork for you”.
Nissa pulls out her quill finger, Kanye summons Woodhouse for a nice writing utensil with pretty feathers.Averlyth: I swear to god, if this is an NDA, it’s a little too late for thatWe all have a slightly different reaction to receiving the paperwork. Averlyth asks if Qualish knows lawyers. Nissa points out this paperwork removes him from being liable for anything if we die. Kanye has signed the paperwork, flipped the paper over and added his own condition about being allowed to bedazzle the vehicles. He hands the signed sheet over to Qualish proudly.Qualish: Great! Kanye’s clearly the legal leader of this group anyways so the rest of you signing is just a formality.
Nissa, Averlyth, Um: uncertain squintingNext time, we are going to Omega base to deal with the weird latin-speaking cultists.