Advice No One Asked For - Number Ten/Transcript

Advice No One Asked For - Number Ten is the tenth episode of Buckley's "Advice No One Asked For" series.  It is available as an audio file on his website (in the "Supplements" section), as well as on YouTube.
Description (as seen on the website): I help a kid who can't decide whether to keep his expensive car or travel.  First world problems...
Description (as seen on YouTube): The advice column newspapers are afraid to publish returns (does anyone even read a newspaper anymore?).  This time, a young man has a financial question.
==Transcript==
(introduction music playing during the following paragraph)
Welcome to "Advice No One Asked For".  How it works is, I find an advice column, steal the question, and then give my own advice because I'm a tremendous asshole who finds joy in other people's misery, and you people find joy in my joy of other people's misery, so ultimately...you're worse than me.  Anyway, let's get on with it, as today's person has a serious issue.
Dear who fucking cares,
I don't know if I had made a mistake.  I recently purchased an expensive new car and have three years of stiff payments ahead.  The car is the only thing stopping me from traveling internationally for a few months.  I have always yearned to do this.  Some people tell me that this is the only time in my life I would be able to have an expensive car, because I still live with my parents.  Others say that I should have traveled first.  I will be 21 in the autumn.  I am confused.  What would you have done, bought the car or traveled?
Signed...let's just call him, "Uncertain in Grenwich".
Are you fucking serious?  You're not even legal drinking age in some areas of the US, and your toughest decision in life is either own an expensive car or travel the world, which you've always yearned to do.  Always!  You're fucking twenty!  "Always" probably means since last month when you were watching the "Amazing Race" or some shit on your sixty-inch flat screen and you thought, "That country looks cool, I wanna go there!"  This isn't a real problem that you should write to anyone about.  If your biggest problem in life is buy a Beamer or fuck around Europe for half a year, you don't have any  problems.  Right now, some kid in Kenya's conundrum of the day is drink the tainted water out of the puddle and possibly die of disease or don't drink the water, and die of dehydration! That's a problem!  You're a spoiled little fuck that has not lived a day in the real world.  You want to know what I would have done if I had your money?  I'd pay a thousand homeless people fifty dollars each to shit through the sunroof of your new car, and I'd feed them all chili the day before.
(introductory music playing)
I'm Buckley, and you're welcome.