Simpson Tide/Quotes

:Mr. Burns: How could you be so irresponsible?
:Homer: I-It's my first day.
:Mr. Burns: Since I've never seen you before, maybe it is your first day. Very well. Carry on.
:Smithers: Uh, sir, that's Homer Simpson, and he's been working here for 10 years.
:Mr. Burns: Oh, really? Why did you think you could lie to me?
:Homer: It's my first day.
:Mr. Burns: [Chuckling] Well, why didn't you sa- Oh! You're fired!
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:Homer: You know, Lisa, I've taken a lot from this country. Maybe it's time I gave something back.
:Lisa: Are you thinking of joining the naval reserve?
:Homer: Would you be proud of me?
:Lisa: Yeah, sort of.
:Homer: Then I will do it!
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:Homer: There's a question that's crossed out.
:Clerk: Well, due to a recent presidential order we're not allowed to ask that particular question.
:Homer: Oh, I think I can make it out. "Are you a homosex-"
:Clerk: Oh, for God's sake, don't answer that. I could go to jail.
:Homer: But I'm not a homosex-
:Clerk: LA, LA, LA, LA, LA... I am not listening! (He exits.)
:Homer: Nice fella. I wonder if he's gay.
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:Homer: You know, Marge, joining the reserves was the best thing I ever did. I feel good about myself, I'm helping my country and later I'm going to get Gilligan's autograph.
:Lisa: I'm so proud of you, Homie!
:Homer: Then I'll whomp him with my hat! (laughs)
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:Grampa: My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!
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:Ralph: (while wearing an earring) My neck hurts and my ear hurts. I have two owies!
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:Sergeant: (to Homer) All right, Simpson, you don't like me and I don't like you.
:Homer: I like you.
:Sergeant: All right, you like me, but I don't like you.
:Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me!
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:Homer: (to Moe) Damage report, Mr. Moe.
:Moe: Sonar: out. Navigation: out. Radio: out.
:Homer: Enough of what's out! What's in?
:Moe: Ice-blended mocha drinks and David Schwimmer.
:Homer: Yes, he is handsome in an ugly sort of way.
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:Homer: Well guys, I won't be seeing you for a while.
:Barney: Where you going?
:Homer: I've joined the Naval Reserve!
:Barney: Well, I'm not gonna let anything happen to my best friend. I'm joining too!
:Moe: Well I'm not going to let anything happen to my two best customers. I'm joining too!
:Apu: And although my religion strictly forbids military service, what the hey! I'm in too!
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:Male Asian: Di di mau! Di di mau!
:Moe: I'm sorry, guys. We're shutting down for a while. Sorry.
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:Female Officer: (to Homer) Fifteen seconds to collision! We need a decision.
:Homer: Hmm, what would the Captain say in my spot?
:Captain Tennille: (while in the torpedo tube) Don't fire the torpedoes!
:Homer: Fire the torpedoes!
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:Lisa: Be careful, Dad.
:Homer: Oh, Lisa, it's just war games. It's not like a game could hurt me. (begins imagining) Damn you, Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots! Can't we all just get along?
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:Captain Tenille: Tell me, young man. What do you want out of life?
:Homer: I want peas.
:Captain Tenille: We all want peace! But it's always just out of reach.
:Homer: (attempting unsuccessfully to reach a pot of peas) Oh! Uh-huh.
:Captain Tenille: So, what's the best way to get peace?
:Homer: (eating peas from a butter knife) With a knife!
:Captain Tenille: Exactly! Not with the olive branch, but the bayonet. Oh, Simpson! You're like the son I never had.
:Homer: And you're like the father I never visit.
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:Lenin: (upon being revived) Must crush capitalism!
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:Barney: Mayday, Mayday! The engine room has sprung a leak. It's filling up with a clear, nonalcoholic liquid.
:Homer: You mean water?
:Barney: Yeah, that's it.
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:Homer: You can't spell "dishonorable" without "honorable."
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:Lisa: (to Homer) I think you're a hero, Dad!
:Homer: Well, I couldn't have done it without Bart. (to Bart) Boy, I guess I was wrong about that earring. It saved us all.
:Bart: Hey, can I get a tattoo that says "Bite Me"? You never know when it might come in handy!
:Homer: I don't think so, son.
:Bart: King Cobra?
:Homer: No.
:Bart: Weapons-grade plutonium?
:Homer: Ask your mother.
:Bart: Knock-out drops?
:Homer: No.
:Bart: Ninja death stars?
:Homer: Maybe for Christmas.
es:Simpson Tide/Frases
Category:Incomplete