StrawberryMaster's Adventures in Wonderland

:Written with the help of a fantastic AI
== Chapter 1: I Wish Hell Was Real ==
[April 1, 2020, Brazil.]
SM, Keranique, and the infamous HHC were enjoying their vacation after the previous events which caused the bankruptcy of HHW. SM was reading a book on puns, made by his friend Garfield, while HHC and Keranique argued about the status of anime.
HHC: Anime should be banned, Keranique. It's immoral, unethical, and illegal. Our society can't stand it anymore!
Keranique: Of course not. Anime is just like any other regular cartoon!
HHC: Anime is a cartoon, that is.
Keranique: Can't argue with that.
SM: laughing Do you know what movie Evil Akio hates? The Beetroot of Happyness! Ha, get it? He just replaced pursuit with beetroot... oh my god this is so fun. laughing
HHC: Speaking of beetroot, there's beetroot stew in the fridge if you wanna eat some.
Keranique: Beetroots should be abolished, HHC.
HHC: No! Beetroots are a great source of fiber, iron, potassium, and vitamin C!
SM then got up from his armchair, given to him by his friend Astro as a gift for participating in the Bruh Collective meeting, and went to the kitchen. The kitchen was also a gift from Astro, and it was identical to the kitchen from the Bruh Collective Mansion. SM went to the fridge and grabbed the beetroot stew, and closed it.
SM: Ah, beetroot stew. I love beetroot stew. Just have to find a way to heat this up now.
Unfortunately, the only microwave in the house was not working. HHC was too lazy to repair it herself, although she promised SM she would do it "once L1G's existence is proven". Thus, he decided to use the oven. But he didn't find the oven in the kitchen.
SM: Hey, do any of you know where is the oven?
Keranique: Akio took it outside for some experiments. He said he would finally bury that oven once and for all!
SM: Oh god... AKIO! THE OVEN IS STILL WORKING! I DON'T GET PAID FOR YOU TO GO AROUND DESTROYING MY THINGS- cough oh god.
SM then ran outside and found a rather big hole in his garden.
SM: Akio, what in the actual blah are you doing? This isn't an episode of Gardeners' World-
Before he could finish his sentence, he lost his balance and fell in the hole
SM: ...oooooooooooooooh god I'm going to heeeeeeeell...
After about 10 seconds, SM then hit the ground. Though it was a rather comfy ground - it was a vehicle seat. But that was no normal vehicle - it was the HHW Bus!
SM: God, for once I wish I was an invertebrate. But uh, this is the HHW Bus? Well, I guess it hasn't died.
The bus was being driven by someone he did not recognize.
SM: Uh, who are you:
?: It's me, Secretary-General SM.
SM: ...Org?
Org: Correct! We're going to visit the US Senate, where I will show you the rules of filibustering and you will meet my favorite senators and then-
SM: I'll pass, thanks. I just want to go home-
Org: But the Senate is your home, Secretary-General.
SM: Oh?
Org: Hyper can explain it to you better.
SM then realized that Hype was there! It was refreshing, as he thought he was all alone.
SM: Hype! Thank God you're here. So uh, where are we?
Hype: I don't know.
He then grabbed an Etch-A-Sketch pad and showed it to SM. The map showed a line that looked like a track from an Atlantic subtropical depression.
Hype: Thoughts?
SM: It looks.. ok.
Hype: Oh, then it looks trash. My storms are trash, my seasons are trash, and I will turn myself into a trashcan-
SM: I was just joking! It looks great, really. Great... perfect. I love it.
Hype: Thanks. I'll continue working on it.
SM then left Hype aside and sat in one of the many seats in the HHW Bus and thought to himself.
SM: God, I wish Hell was real. At least I could eat my beetroot stew in peace...
== Chapter 2: Finally Dead ==
[April 1, 2020, Brazil.]
While SM was trying to figure out where he was, HHC and Keranique were watching the only important series live that evening: the grand finale of Big Brother: HHW 5, thanks to their pirated satellite receiver, the SBOX. But wasn't HHW bankrupt? It was, for about 30 minutes, but it all went back to normal. And wasn't the SBOX just a normal video game console? Wrong: the SBOX controls everything.
HHC: Like, really... it's obvious that Cardozo has this in the bag. He had the best trajectory so far and managed to get all of his enemies eliminated!
Keranique: Yeah! Remember when he and Doug were up for elimination, and Doug was eliminated with a staggering 85%?
HHC: Or that time when it was him, FCX and Turret? Turret was just completely decimated with 87%. Cardozo only got 10%!
Keranique: FCX got the remaining 3%, but he's not a candidate we can just rule out, unlike poor Tuba. All he did during the entire season was play a cardboard tuba and talk about the Tuba weed, not sure what that is.
HHC: Well, we just have to see what happens now. Look, Hype will reveal it now!
They both stared into their TV, and saw the image of Hypercane, still a frog.
Hype: ribbit I'm sure you three were great houseguests. It's been, uh, three months and umm... ribbit unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Ultimately, you didn't do that much, but you are still here. And yet, you were successful in your journey. In third place is you, Tuba.
Keranique: That's what I expected.
HHC: 6.37%? That's a lot, especially considering he virtually was high during the entire program.
Hype: Now, to the other two... I would like to say that this game is not easy. You two crawled up out of the mud to get where you are... ribbit but the winner here simply did a spectacular game, and against all odds, managed to reach the final.
HHC: Oh. My. Gah.
Hype: ribbit The only person that could win this is you, FCX.
Keranique and HHC: NO
HHC: How could it be?
Keranique: 46.74% for FCX, 43.63% for Cardozo, 6.37% for Tuba, that's the final result.
HHC: They actually voted for Mr. Perfect to win? God, I hate America now.
Keranique: Oh, don't overreact! This happens, and we just have to get used to it. I don't think SM would be angry though.
HHC: Speaking of SM, where is he?
[April 1, 2020, somewhere.]
Tired of listening to Hype and Org, SM decided that it was time to find out what happened. As he couldn't just leave the bus without being scolded by Org, he simply decided to play dead. And surprisingly, the two believed it. Org planned to simply throw SM out the window in front of the White House. While they weren't there yet, Hype mourned SM's "death".
Hype: Bruh... SM the nab is gone.
Org: Alright, it's time I finally remove this burden from my desk.
And with that, Org threw SM out the window, and the HHW Bus disappeared in the distance.
== Chapter 3: No CHAOs in This Household ==
[April 1, 2020, somewhere.]
SM still had no idea where he was. If he was really in Washington, it would take just a few miles of walking to find a payphone - and he found one, in front of the White House. He called the number to his house, where HHC and Keranique would hopefully answer.
?: Hello?
SM: Hey! It's me, SM!
?: Oh, SM? It's Keranique. Where are you?
SM: Let's say I kinda fell into a hole that led me to a weird dimension in a bus driven by Org, Hype was in it, I played dead, they threw me out the bus, and I found this payphone in front of what looks like the White House. Can you please rescue me?
Keranique: Um... yeah! I'll try! But how did you get out of the bus again?
SM: I got bored because Hype kept talking about his tracks, so I just played dead. Org then threw me out of the bus and ouch, that hurt.
Keranique: You OK?
SM: Yeah, I'm... fine. So what's the plan?
Keranique: I know someone who can help you. HHC, it's SM! He fell in that hole Akio did and fell into a different dimension you probably know of!
HHC: God, he fell into the cookie dimension again. That happened to me last week and I had to get a plane here. Is it really him?
Keranique: Yup!
HHC: Alright, I'll come to get him.
SM: Ker, before you hang up, how did the cookie dimension even come about?
Keranique: I don't really know to be honest, but I bet it has something to do with the disappearance of Akio.
HHC: It must be. I'll get a plane near SM's current location - I know where he is because I am everywhere.
SM: Got it! Bye!
SM then hangs up and waits a few minutes for his plane to arrive. It did arrive - and it was controlled by no one other than his friend, SuperDestructiveTwister, aka SDT. SDT and SM had a great friendship, and SDT, with advanced knowledge of how planes worked, would send the two back home.
SDT: Are you sure you're fine? You're not hurt are you?
SM: (yawn) Nah, I'm good.
SDT: Good.
SDT starts talking about Camp Buddy, causing SM to be briefly interested but bored after minutes of talking. SM, tired, decides to take a brief nap. When he wakes up, he is finally home!
Keranique: Welcome back, SM! You're home now.
She then quietly whispers something to HHC.
Keranique: He'll have a meltdown when he finds out Cardozo lost.
HHC: He will.
HHC: But welcome back, SM! We found out Akio was actually testing a tractor in the back here and uh, that is what caused the noise. The hole you saw was a portal to a cookie dimension he leads - we still have to cover it up.
Keranique: Well, let's not overreact. Let's just go celebrate with some eggnog.
Everyone: Cheers!
Keranique: By the way SM, Cardozo lost Big Brother: HHW 5 to FCX.
SM: HOW-?!
Keranique: We don't know, we think he may have cheated.
Everyone: Of course.
SM: Let's leave the eggnog for another occasion. Let's grab our pitchforks and protest in front of the HHW headquarters!
Everyone: Down with the Jd clone!
THE END
Category:Hypothetical Stories
Category:StrawberryMaster