Porky

== BEGIN PROFILE: ==
SUBJECT: PORKY is a large prismatic’s pig’s head protruding from a
massive window located within a brick building in a “glitch street”
in [REDACTED] Michigan. Subject has been roughly estimated as being
the size of a Volswagen Beetle, accurate guesses are unknown thanks
to subject’s concerns about us being “A Robberies”''
Aside from the
Subject and its location, the brick building appears to be
80%non-anomalous. The other twenty percent is minor anomalies; which
our archetectural estimates have shown mainly to be of use in
supporting the unusual archetecture of the location; described as
“Anomalous” and “whimsical” by others. Subject’s hypothetical
lower body has not been located within the building, if it is there
at all.''
Subject is
capable of speech and appears to be an anomalous “merchant” of
some sort; possibly related to subjects [REDACTED], offering “Straws,
Bricks, and Woods” as building materials. The definitions of such
subjects appear to be loose, and may be classified as minor
anomalies.''
Potentially
useful anomalous materials have been investigated for use by
G.U.F.F., but have had secondary issues with acquisition thanks to
subject’s eccentricities; both in inconsistent stocking of such goods and most notably their fears of “A Robberies”
or “A Police Thieft”.''
Financial
compensation for goods rendered MUST be given to the Subject
directly, and the goods will be located within the first room through
the front door of the building. DO NOT TRY TO CHEAT SUBJECT. ''
On a related
note; rumors of a “screaming wall” within the house are accurate,
though agents are STRONGLY ADVISED AGAINST seeking such a place out.
It has been called a gruesome experience by those that have, and its
very existence should be a warning in and of itself against scamming
the Subject..Itinerary of anomalous goods purchased and sample’s of subject’s “Complementous Cataloge” are forthcoming.''
== Author Commentary ==
This entry was one big homage to the Sandsverse from Tumblr, along with the Angry Ape Fuck Pill Ape who I need to get around to making a page for. And yes, for the record its sales are a reference to the Three Little Pigs
As per usual with G.U.F.F. stuff, this is free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY 4.0 license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!
And, if you wanna support me, maybe check out my Patreon, which I previewed this design on ages ago, or even just send a Ko-Fi my way! Every penny is appreciated, and I am eternally grateful for those who donate!
Category:G.U.F.F. Entries