Transcripts 1999-09

Transcripts from September 1999 strips.
==September 6==
Panel 1Richard and Norman are crudely drawn and only ink lines. Both are bickering.Richard: What the f**K? What's going on? We're all crapply drawn and stuff!Norman: I thought you had got used to that.Richard: No it's worse then usual. Half my body is missing for f**k sake! Maybe Alan isn't drawing the strip this week.Panel 2Norman takes up more of the panel and is angrier.Norman: What you mean a guest "artist" like Terrence Marks or David Schumacher?*Richard: Come on we're not that shit. I'll ask Alan about it though.Panel 3Richard is drawn as normal again and leaning on Al's chair. Al is sitting at his desk and shaking his fist at his computer, which has on it a sticker of a smiley face with eyepatch sticking its tongue out. The visible part of Al's shirt says, "I F... G..."Richard: Er... About this week's strip...Al: Oh, yeah yeah yeah! I've been kinda busy this week so I rushed it a bit.Richard: But you've just played "Tiberian Sun" all week...Al: Just remember who controls your life then PISS OFF!
==September 13==
Panel 1Norman is carrying over his shoulder Anne, who is hanging limply. Richard and Kingston are standing nearby, both looking groggy. The group is standing outside the front door of their house.Norman: could you hurry it up Richard? Your girlfriend is getting heavy.Richard: I'm trying to find my damn door keys okay!Panel 2Norman turns slightly so he is behind Richard, who looks even groggier.Richard: Oh f**k that! I've ether lost 'em or left them indoors. Hay maybe I can... pick the lock or something.Norman: Ha! You're so rat-arsed you couldn't pick your nose!Off-panel (Anne): BLAEG!!Panel 3Close-up of Norman, turned so Anne's rear end takes up half the panel width.Norman: Look, I know a simple, sure-fire way to open ANY door in no time. Tibetan monks taught it to me ya'know.Panel 4Inside the house, Norman is looking backward as Anne has slightly come to enough to have an exclamation point over her head. Richard looks at Norman skeptically.Caption: TEN SECONDS LATER...Richard: Let me get this straight... Monks taught you to kick my front door in?Norman: No I was lying so you would let me do it. Mind you I wonder if monks can get puke off denim coz' your girlfriend has just been sick down my legs!
==September 20==
Panel 1Anne is in a work uniform along with AngusAngus is a character from Jim Boswell.. Anne looks out of it as Angus looks over at her. There is an "Edson" sign and a potted plant in the background.Angus: You look worried Anne, what's the matter?Anne: Oh, oh nothing. I rushed out this morning and I just have this feeling that I've forgotten something.Panel 2They are facing an elevator, which has floor "1" lit up, out of B, G, 1, 2, 3, and (4, covered up by a dialogue balloon tail).Angus: Have you got your keys with you?Anne: That's the first thing I checked.Angus: Leave the cooker on?Anne: I was late so I skipped breakfast.Angus: Did you lock your car?Anne: Nah I had the feeling before I parked it.Panel 3The camera rotates back around to view their faces again. Anne looks smug this time.Angust: Stop thinking about it. It'll come to ya.Anne: Yeah I guess you're right Angus. It can't be THAT important huh?Panel 4Richard is angry and naked with his hands tied to the bed rail.Caption: Meanwhile, back at the house...Richard: IF THIS IS A JOKE IT ISN'T F**KING FUNNY! UN-F**KING-TIE ME!!!
==September 27 (beginning of Year 2)==
The header now reads S.S.D.D 2099 in an alternate typeface.
Panel 1External view of E11 in space with obligatory lens flare.Caption (bottom of panel): September 27, 2099:Station E11 in a high orbit above Uranus.Off-panel (Tin-Head): I hate space stations!Off-panel (Tessa): Shut up! It's your fault that we're stuck all the way out here to guard this shit heap!Panel 2Tin-Head and Tessa are walking through the station with a window showing Uranus in the background.Tin-Head: My fault! It was you that told me to dismantle the captain's car!Tessa: I was drunk and you knew it.Panel 3Sticks appears and points a figure accusingly at Tin-Head, who points back with his claw. There is a red shape of some sort in the background.Sticks: Yeah since when has a factory reject like you started obeying orders?Tin-Head: Shut it you over-grown sex toy!Sticks: Look who's talking dildo head!Tin-Head: Oh yeah? Well maybe I should rip your tiny little one off!Sticks: You just try it!Panel 4Tessa shouts at them in anger.Tessa: Oh shut up both of you! It's bad enough that I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere so I won't put up with your constant bickering! Tin Head you go and fetch our luggage from the docking bay and Sticks you're with me.Panel 5Tin-Head glowers at Tessa, who glowers back. "Docking" is visible in the background.Tin-Head: Why is it always me that has to pick up the luggage all the time?Tessa: Because you're a luggage handler. You were built and designed to stomp on people's belongings and put them on the wrong flight!Panel 6Tessa gives Sticks a smug look, holding his forearms, and he gives her a grin as he holds her around her upper torso.Tessa: Humm you know I think I've forgotten what you were built for!Sticks: Find our quarters and I'll give you a demonstration!Panel 7Sticks is kissing Tessa's neck, while Tessa leans back, eyes closed with her hand on Sticks's head.Tessa: Cut that out! It's bad enough that I own a "companion" droid but it's worse if you keep jumping me in public!Sticks: Well I can't help it. I can't resist a girl in uniform.Panel 8Sticks has backed off so he and Tessa are at arm's length, although she has a hand on his shoulder.Tessa: Oh Sticks why do I keep you? I never needed you before I won you in that card game so why don't I sell you?Sticks: Maybe because I go all night, have 25 different attachments and I know 285 different positions!Tessa: Besides that...
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