DBA Lost Episode 2 - Attack on Boi

This episode initially started as a "skirmish": an unstreamed PvP match without a gimmick intended to allow players to either test new characters or just have a fun time waster. However, as the skirmish continued on, both its length and level of insanity reached a point that the participants felt was on par for actual DBA. This, along with how hard they were laughing, made them make the decision to consider the session to be canon and therefore the now second lost episode.
It featured and introduced many characters that either have a strong likelihood to or are confirmed to appear in a future, actually streamed episode of DBA.
== Plot ==
For some reason, potentially for testing whether certain combatants would be up to snuff with the rest of the current DBA fighter pool, the DBA Executives allowed a group of six to enter the uninhabited arena late at night to duke it out. Team One consisted of newcomers Robin Ori, Melograno Valentine, and Fabian Fournier, while Team Two featured veteran Abigail Palmer alongside the new Vinicio Maestro and Jilette Hayashi. 
Initially, the fight's momentum seemed pretty one sided. Robin was grabbing any items he could and combining them, but not to too much success, Fabian and his mini-gun seemed to be perpetually distracted by oats, and Melograno's loud mouth got him on Vinicio's hit-list; his superstition made him hyper afraid of Jilette, and Abigail tossed a generator at both him and Robin. Meanwhile, Vinicio was finding great success in powering up his boys (and therefore himself), and with Jilette's help, one even became the dreaded "Pilla Boy": a boy so strong he could potentially even rival the boss himself. Abigail was also doing the aforementioned generator tossing.
After escaping from the generator, Melograno acted upon his grudge with the mafia and used his "Yellow Pages" ability in order to place a very special order. Specifically, he called up an establishment called "Night and Day", which had half of its merchandise targeted towards the family and the other half being sex and/or porn related. Melograno had the business combine both of its expertise in order to create a piñata with a vore fetish that specifically had a hunger for mafia members. Upon receiving it, Melograno named him Kinky Karl, and Kinky Karl proceeded to be awful at voring the mafia.
Melograno's unlucky curse of being a Valentine continued to show itself, as Karl repeatedly refused to be useful and allies merely in the presence of Melograno seemed to have their own luck sapped. Fabian noted this, and began distrusting Melograno. On the other hand, Vinicio's boys kept reeking havoc, Jilette kept them all healthy, and Abigail repeatedly pelted the enemy team (especially Robin) with dodge balls.
However, it was soon after this that Robin proposed an ultimately devastating maneuver to Melograno: using Robin's alchemical abilities to fuse Kinky Karl and Melograno's phone book in order to create a being that would spit out a phone number used to call "The Bois" back in town to kill Vinicio and his boys. Melograno nonchalantly agreed and their fates were sealed. For a while, the fight continued as normal. Fabian managed to gain a massive boost to his stamina, Abigail continued to throw the generator at Robin and Melograno, and Robin tried to hide in a fridge but failed and was soon knocked out. In the middle of his own running away, Melograno was cornered by Vinicio and his boys, but managed to turn the situation around with his Epithet. With his "BRRRING RING RING RING" ability, he commanded Vinicio to walk off the side of the arena, which immediately disqualified him from the match. Of course, he simply walked to the stands and continued barking orders at his own boys.
Around this time, Melograno's previous phone call had its effects come to fruition as two of The Bois appeared at the edge of the arena. Abigail swooped into action to eliminate this new threat to her team, but her strength alone wasn't enough to handle them. Again and again, they exponentially multiplied, surrounding both Abigail and Fabian among their masses. Meanwhile, one of Vinicio's boys had managed to get his hands on some of Kinky Karl's candy, each piece afflicted him with a different wild magic effect. The three most important ones caused him to become naked, expand to four tiles wide, and gain a fervent desire to make the best Halloween costume possible out of surrounding items. This, of course, lead the boy to The Bois, but even this large menace could not keep up with the eldritch horror currently unfolding. Jilette observed the current situation as Melograno scrambled away from her with barely any stamina remaining, and as The Bois only continued to envelop the arena, she "chose life" and forfeited. This left only Abigail remaining on Team Two, while Melograno and Fabian did everything possible to finish her off. Melograno dashed over to one of the cameras, jumped on top of it, and tried to force its viewpoint onto Abigail to disorient her. However, Abigail dodged and reflected this attack back at Melograno, instead causing him to disorient himself. Fabian and Abigail then continued their own battle, leading to Fabian splashing a milkshake on Abigail to "bring the bois to her yard".
The Bois had reached the hundreds at this point, and they were covering over half of the arena. Upon reaching a certain amount, they then piled into the arena's center and fused together, forming "The Titan Boi": a colossal pumpkin mech abomination with immeasurable amounts of power. When the wide boy attempted to enter and assimilate The Titan Boi, he instead was the one who became assimilated, morphing into a dark pumpkin form. Meanwhile, Melograno had essentially given up and decided to gut Kinky Karl in order to test his luck with some wild magic. Consequently, he gained the irresistible urge to bring his entire team to soccer practice, which of course included The Titan Boy. Despite his warped vision, he ran to the foot of the titan, grabbing an astray drill along the way, and then used said drill to tunnel into The Titan Boy and began climbing through it to reach the "sweet mafia center". While Melograno was busy with this, Abigail quickly delivered a devastating nut-punch to Fabian to finish him off. She then sprinted over to the hole that Melograno had created, while Melograno himself had reached the central control panel. He attempted to "hack the system" with his non-existent computer knowledge and ended up rolling a Natural 1, instead leading to him accidentally shutting down The Titan Boi's power system and also slamming his head on the keyboard(s). He was also still essentially blind due to having the viewpoint from the arena's camera.
Abigail aimed her dodge ball canon through Melograno's created hole and fired, causing the dodge ball to ricochet throughout The Titan Boi's insides until it eventually reached Melograno and pegged him in the face. This ended the combat, with Team One officially having all of its members out of commission. It is unknown where The Titan Boi went after this, or if it was somehow disposed.
== Technical Difficulties ==
Due to the episode not being streamed, there weren't any technical issues that mattered. At one point, YumYum's headset died, but the match went on for so long that he was able to charge it up and use it again.
== Trivia ==
* Many of the episode's participants agree that this was not only the best DBA skirmish so far, but also one of the funniest matches to come out of the DBA playerbase.
*This has easily been the longest skirmish done, being longer than even some of the shorter streamed DBA Episodes.
*There are many quotes and screenshots from this episode that are fondly remembered by the DBA Crew.
Category:DBA Episodes