2021 Keeper Announcement

== Intro ==
It's the one where I announce keepers. 
== Keeper Announcement ==
There are keepers. 
== Conclusion ==
Good luck. 
== But really. ==
Due to a massive storm, my boss told me not to come in to work this morning. He said I can get work done at home. Jokes on him, I'm doing this instead. 
Sorry for the delay in getting keepers to everyone. This isn't the first ball I've dropped this year and it will not be the last. I cannot believe with each passing season it gets more and more difficult for me to find time to do fantasy writeups for the squad. It's not like I'm not crunching the same numbers (1-9) in different combinations. But yeah, work gets increasingly in the way of fantasy football, which in turn gets in the way of my happiness, which is weird because I work to make money to pursue happiness. So now that we've established that the top-two time sucks in my life cause me nothing but misery, let's get down to the business at hand. 
* Draft time has officially moved to Tuesday, 8/24, at 8:15. Again, I do feel bad about the early draft. I know that one person is going to get fucked hard by this, it's inevitable. Some big time injury is going to occur between 9:15pm on 8/24 to kickoff on 9/9. And then the early draft is going to be blamed for their shitty season and I'm going to get annoyed but deep down feel a little guilty. "That's on me." - Joe Biden after watching Afghani people falling from the sky" - me feling bad about the fantasy draft datae. 
* I'm only human. Please, please, please double-check that your keepers are correct before the draft. I looked everything over twice before realizing that I had put Kamara on my board as a 6th round pick (he should be a 5th). Credit to me for admitting that mistake and fixing it even though in the not-so-deep crevices of my mind I knew that it would go undetected and I could get away with it. I do not want a situation like 2017 when JarJar Stinks! ended up with Shotti's keeper and we needed to do this awkward trade thing since no one noticed until after the draft. It was avoidable if someone had just taken the time to realize I am an idiot and cannot be trusted with a task a well-trained monkey could also accomplish. 
* If you want to do a video thing again like last year I'm down. I'll shoot out a Zoom Link on Tuesday. 
== 2021 Keepers ==
Only a couple surprises here. Been mocking with projected keepers all summer and happy to say that only three or four out of the 20 were curveballs. 
=== 1st Overall Pick - Ya Boi ===
* The Spot: Yeah, Papa won the consolation tourney and gave me first overall pick. I have mixed emotions drafting out of the 1. For starters, I am pumped to be getting first dibs at the top dawgs. But with great power comes great opportunity to do something fucking stupid and be screwed all season. At this point it's pretty clear I'm the worst first round drafter in fantasy history. I could easily mess this up. Obviously I'm taking McCaffrey, barring an injury, and I'm not going to overthink it. But odds are he'll average 8 points a game or something and I'll still look dumb. Also, optics aren't great. Dad wins the consolation tourney, gives his son who is also the league-runner the first pick. But the facts are Papa knows the track-record of the first pick. Sweet Dee won from the 1st spot in 2018, but other than that the first overall pick team has averaged a finish of 8th place from 2014-2020. 
* The Keepers
** Alvin Kamara (5th) - No surprise here. Alviiiiiin has been worth his value every year he's been drafted, and even if he suffers a bit with the loss of Brees he still should return top-60 production if healthy.
** Justin Jefferson (9th) - A tough decision to let go of Michael Thomas, who was the best keeper for nearly half a decade in the LOC. But his nagging injury, coupled with the bananas decision to wait until June for surgery, is a risk too great to take. Justin Jefferson, even though he is recovering from a sprain in his shoulder, is still less of a risk and pretty good value at 9. If he is legit, he could be the next great keeper for GBM. 
=== 2nd Overall Pick - Papa's posse ===
* The Spot: Likely wants his man Cook again and could drop a spot to get him. The #2 spot is the only draft position that has never had a top-3 finish. 
*The Keepers
**Mike Williams (9th) - The decision between Agholor and Williams doesn't seem like a tough one. Both are probably WR3 or 4 tier guys with upside. I think he difficulty is that if Agholor plays like he did last year, he is probably the top targeted player on the entire Patriot roster. Mike Williams, even at full potential, is always going to be at least third in touches behind Ek and Allen. But ultimately it was the high-powered Chargers offense that tipped the scales.
**Tom Brady (14th) - Can you believe in 2021 that Tom Brady is still a player people feel they should keep? That, more than anything, speaks to his longevity and greatness. Homeboy was a first round pick in 2011 for the original 12-team LOC and he still commands respect on fantasy rosters to this day. In the 14th round, to have a QB locked and loaded, it's worth a keep when there's not much else on the roster. 
=== 3rd Overall Pick - ma ma momma said ===
*The Spot: This is a really difficult position for MMMS. Henry seems the obvious choice here but homeboy has touched the ball 718 times over the last two years. Are we sure he's going to be third overall pick worthy again in 2021? But then again, you going to pass up a dude averaging 1681 total yards over his last three seasons and take a guy like Zeke or Bark? Plus, you pass Henry, you hand him to Shotti. And if you hand him to Shotti, he probably breaks the single-season rushing record. 
*The Keepers
**Stefon Diggs (4th) - 
**George Kittle (13h) - Tried and true .