Draw the Line

Draw the Line is the twelfth episode of the first season of Patrick in Kelp City and the 12th episode overall. It was written and directed by , and aired on May 23rd, 2020 on Canary TV.
==Transcript==
[Episode begins with SpongeBob sweeping the floor]
Patrick: What happened last night?
SpongeBob: You tell me!
Patrick: Sorry, but I don't remember. Anyway, can you turn down the volume on your broom? I'm trying to watch Bikini Bottom's Got Talent.
[SpongeBob sighs as we see the television screen displaying the show]
Fish Judge: -house of swag.
Announcer: Bikini Bottom's Got Talent will be back after these messages.
Patrick: Oh come on! I hate commercials.
[Patrick then stares at the screen with a 'woah']
SpongeBob: Patrick? Didn't you just say you hated--woooaaahhhhhhh. [SpongeBob is staring at the screen too]
Commercial Guy: Now introducing "Kelpy Ruxpin"! [He pulls a string on the back of Kelpy Ruxpin, which is a Teddy Ruxpin-like piece of kelp]
Kelpy Ruxpin [voice-box]: I love you!
Commercial Guy: He walks, he talks, he even tells stories!
Kelpy Ruxpin [voice-box]: Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.
Commercial Guy: Uhh… don't mind that. That's just a bug. A-anyway, Kelpy Ruxpins will be available in 3 days, but you can start pre ordering now! Just call--
[SpongeBob and Patrick are frantically calling the number which isn't being displayed for personal reasons]
SpongeBob: Yes, hello, I'd like to preorder a Kelpy Ruxpin--
Patrick: I want one of those thingies on the commercial--
SpongeBob: --please please please! I can't live without one--
Patrick: --THE ONE WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT THE KELP THING! What, commercial people aren't for sale? D'awwww… fine. I'll take a stupid kelp toy.
[They both hang up and grin at each other excitedly]
[3 Days Later…]
[SpongeBob and Patrick are waiting excitedly]
SpongeBob: Today is the day we get the Kelpy Ruxpins!
Patrick: I still want a commercial person…
SpongeBob: What?
[We hear a ding-dong. SpongeBob goes to open the door. The Mail Fish Man is there with two packages]
Mail Fish Man: Are you two SpringBoob and Rick?
Patrick: MY NAME'S NOT RICK!!
SpongeBob: Yeah, uh… actually it's SpongeBob and Patrick.
Mail Fish Man: Close enough.
[He hands them the packages and closes the door]
SpongeBob: OH BOY! Here are our Kelpy Ruxpins!
Patrick: Is that the name of the commercial guy?
SpongeBob: …no.
[They frantically open the packages to reveal their Kelpy Ruxpins]
SpongeBob and Patrick: YES!!!
SpongeBob: What should I do with him first?
Patrick: I know! Throw him off a cliff!
SpongeBob: What? No!
Patrick: Oh okay.
[SpongeBob pulls the string on the back of Kelpy Ruxpin]
Kelpy Ruxpin [voice-box]: We're gonna be best friends forever!
Patrick: WHAT?! SpongeBob already has a best friend and that's me!
SpongeBob: Don't worry Patrick, I have enough love in my heart for both of you! By the way, where's your Kelpy Ruxpin?
Patrick [with his mouth full]: What? Is that the name of this new cereal?
SpongeBob: What? No! Spit it out!
[Patrick spits it out and pulls the string]
Kelpy Ruxpin [voice-box]: Heard of mouthwash, bozo?
Announcer on TV: Bikini Bottom's Got Talent will be back after these messages!
Commercial Guy: Hey, uh… guys. The Kelpy Ruxpins have become a hit, so uh… we're selling limited edition Kelpy Ruxpins. They don't do anything the original can't but they're shiny and golden!
[SpongeBob and Patrick drop their Kelpy Ruxpins and begin dialing the number again]
SpongeBob: I want a--
Patrick: You sure I can't have him?--
SpongeBob: --yeah, the one that's golden--
Patrick: --but… but… WHY?--
[3 Days Later… again]
[The same sequence happens, but this time with Golden Kelpy Ruxpins]
SpongeBob: OH MY GOD HE'S GOLDEN I CAN'T BREATHE ANYMORE HE'S SO AWESOME!!!
Patrick: I still think the commercial guy is better.
SpongeBob: Well, now we have two Kelpy Ruxpins each. I don't think we need--
Commercial Guy: We're selling DIAMOND Kelpy Ruxpins!
SpongeBob: Patrick. GET THE PHONE!
Patrick: Already have. [Talking into phone] Get me… uhh… two diamond commercial guys. WHAT?! You don't sell those? Fine. Get me two diamond kelp shits.
[3 Days La-Okay, you know what? Screw it]
[Cut to the apartment full of Kelpy Ruxpins of all shapes, sizes, and varieties]
SpongeBob: WE MUST GET ALL THE KELPY RUXPINS!!!
Patrick: I WANT MY COMMERCIAL GUY!!!
Commercial Guy: Bad news, folks. We've sold out all the Kelpy Ruxpins. It's not like it matters anyway because we made a lot of money! Even more than Box Productions makes in a year! Anyway, Kelpy Ruxpins are now uncool, so uhh… yeah.
SpongeBob: They're uncool? But I spent all my money on them!
Patrick: COMMERCIAL GUY, NOW!
SpongeBob: Well, what should we do with them?
Patrick: Trade them in… for a COMMERCIAL GUY!
SpongeBob: Patrick! I'll get you a commercial guy if you help me get rid of all these Kelpy Ruxpins!
Patrick: Sounds like a deal to me.
[We see a montage of SpongeBob and Patrick getting rid of the Kelpy Ruxpins]
SpongeBob: Welp, that's all of them.
Patrick: Now, where's my commercial guy?
[We hear a ding-dong, SpongeBob opens the door and it's the Mail Fish Man]
Mail Fish Man: I have a package for… Pantrik.
Patrick: Who the hell is Pantrik?
SpongeBob: Uh, it's Patrick. And thanks.
[Mail Fish Man closes the door and SpongeBob opens the package to reveal the commercial guy from the Kelpy Ruxpin commercials.
Patrick: Yay! My commercial guy!
Commercial Guy: I love you.
[end]
==Trivia==
* This episode was originally going to be directed by TheJasbre202 but he was too exhausted to direct this time around, which was a first.
Category:Patrick in Kelp City
Category:2020
Category:2020 Episodes
Category:2020 Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episodes written by PrimitiveSponge129
Category:Episodes directed by PrimitiveSponge129
Category:PrimitiveSponge129
Category:Canary TV
Category:2020s