Safety Training Quotes

:Dwight: Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday... for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.
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:Darryl: We do safety training every year or after an accident. We've never made it a full year. This particular time, I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, when one office worker, who shall...remain nameless, kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled...
:Michael: "Hey, Darrell, how's it hangin'?"
:Darryl: ...and I fell and busted my ankle. I'm legitimately scared for my workers.
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:Pam: Jim wins!
:Kevin: That is not fair. He has spent hours up here at reception, with you. Hours and hours!
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:Karen: I don't know this place as well as I thought I did. I'm getting cleaned out!
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:Michael: My life!
:Dwight: Michael, what's wrong?
:Michael: Everything! The stress...of my modern office...has caused me to go into a depression!
:Dwight: "Depression"? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
:Michael: Dwight, you ignorant slut!
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:Michael: My life!
:Dwight: Michael, what's wrong?
:Michael: Everything is wrong, Dwight! The stress of my modern office...has made me depressed!
:Dwight: "Depressed"? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
:Michael: Dwight, you ignorant slut!
:Jim: Well, you know, the first performance was a little off, but I really think they hit their stride in the second show. Might even bring my parents tomorrow, to the...matinee.
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:Pam: Oh, God...oh my God, he's gonna jump!
:Jim: Oh...he's going to kill himself pretending to kill himself!
Category:Season 3 quotes