Transcripts/King Harkinian Learns His Lesson

This is the transcribed dialogue and actions from the now-deleted episode King Harkinian Learns His Lesson.
King Harkinian: Eat me to aid indigestion, or we can talk about sex with protection. Mah boi strives for peace with perfection and I want to eat my dick in the morning.
Close up of Harkinian's face with an odd sound effect before seeing the classic "YouTube Poop" intro
King Harkinian: Mah boi, this penis is what all true warriors rub in Hyrule.
Another close up of Harkinian's face, this time he is doing an impression of the internet meme "Awesome Face"
King Harkinian: ...I'm going to watch My Little Pony.
We now see the castle's TV, which is indeed playing "My Little Pony".
King Harkinian: OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OAH! OAH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! OAH! I GET OFF TO THIS!
Through the TV, Twilight Sparkle suddenly gives off a blinding light.
King Harkinian: OAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!
We cut to Ganon's lair.
Ganon: Your face died, and I will replace your face with the greatest face in Koridai!
The trollface suddenly appears between Ganon's hands and slaps onto Harkinian's face.
King Harkinian: OAH!
We cut to the next day.
Link: Gee, it sure is boring around here!
Due to the trollface, Harkinian begins to sing the song "Trololo" by Eduard Khil, surprising Link. Gwonam flies in on his carpet, and is too surprised, but immediately starts dancing.
Zelda: What happened to Father!?
Gwonam: His Majesty has the trollface! Isn't it beautiful?
Zelda doesn't reply, looking very skeptical. Gwonam suddenly stops dancing and remembers why he came.
Gwonam: Oh... your majesty, Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Koridai.
Harkinian stops singing and makes a surprised face
King Harkinian: OAH! 
Link: I'll grab my stuff!
Gwonam: There is time, your sword is in... Koridai.
Link: What the fuck!?
Gwonam: I know, right? 
Gwonam suddenly produces a scroll out of his hands.
Gwonam: Look! Only His Majesty has the vision to find Ganon.
Subtitle: Two Minutes Later
Harkinian has a trollface on his wine cup.
Zelda (off-screen): You better talk fast.
Subtitle: Seven Days Later
The trollface is now over Harkinian's real face.
Zelda (still off-screen): Father...?
The trollface disappears and Harkinian resumes singing for a split-second.
Gwonam (off-screen): Oh, look! It's Ganon.
We suddenly see Ganon again.
Ganon: How is your face replacement?
Ganon smiles evilly as he utters these words. In response, Harkinian resumes his song.
Ganon: SILENCE!
The trollface suddenly appears to the right of Ganon. When he turns to look at it, it vanishes, but comes back when he looks away.
Ganon: SILENCE!
Ganon's orders have no effect as Harkinian continues to sing.
Ganon: You dare?! DIE!!!
Ganon shoots Harkinian several times with his lightning, but with no effect. 
Ganon looks so pissed he looks as if he might explode!
Ganon: SILENCE!!!!!!!!
Harkinian's song finally ceases. Ganon lets out a sigh of relief, only for Harkinian to start singing again.
Ganon: BURN!!!!!!!!!
Ganon shoots his lightning once more, this time with an effect so powerful that an explosion occurs, causing Hyrule Castle to crumble. Ganon smiles evilly, thinking he has killed the trollface, only for it to fly onto his face.
Ganon: ARGH!
The episode abruptly ends.
Category:Transcripts