World's Smallest Poy

This is the thirty-ninth episode of The SBFW Chronicles.
==Transcript==
(At the music studio, AJR are bickering amongst each other)
Adam: I’m telling you guys, we should have a contest for our fans. It’ll be fun!
Jack: I dunno man, have you seen how crazy our fans can be?
Ryan: (with his face eaten into) Yeah…
Jack: Yeah, yesterday’s incident with that rabid fan at our concert really is making me second-guess this decision.
Adam: Look, if it makes you feel better, I’ll help complete our next album TWICE as fast as we usually do. Is that a deal?
Jack: (shakes hands with Adam) Deal!
Ryan: I have a bad feeling about this…
(Violin transition to Poy’s house, where he is rolling around in a colored rug with a star on it)
Poy: RUGGIE RUGGIE RUGGIE RUGGIE! (starts to get tired) Phew, Poy feels knocked out right now. Poy is gonna watch YouTubes to calm him down.
(Poy gets up and waves his rug goodbye)
Poy: Goodbye, Ruggie! Poy is going to watch YouTube now!
(Poy gets up onto the couch and pulls out his iPad)
Poy: Hehehe, the Sidemen are so funny!
(As he clicks on one of their videos, an ad instantly plays)
Ad: Do YOU want to impress a popular band you may or may not like?
Poy: Sure, why not.
Ad: Then enter AJR’s new World’s Smallest Contest! Impress all of AJR and win the grand prize of…
Poy: Yes? Yes?! YES?!
Ad: …one thousand dollars.
Poy: YES! ONE THOUSAND SMACKAROOS! Poy has to enter! Poy is their biggest World’s Smallest Violin fan!
(Poy clicks on the link to enter the contest and starts filling out the information)
Poy: Name? Poy, duh. Age? Uhh… 19, that works. Race? Formula One, obviously. Credit card info? Yes please!
(Lots of filling out later)
Poy: And… (taps on the iPad) done! Now, Poy has to practice for the big day. Poy will be playing World’s Smallest Violin on his own violin!
(Poy pulls out his violin from his pocket and starts playing, albeit badly)
Poy: Ohhh… my grandpa fought in World War 2, he was such a noble (voice crack) DUDE. Aw, damn it. Poy has to work on that a bit.
(A montage of him practicing the song on his violin plays)
Poy: The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soo (voice cracks) OON- OH GOD DAMN IT! POY HAS TO START ALL OVER!
-
Poy: Now, come in with the timpanis
And take a shot of Hennessy
I know I'm not there mentally
But you could be the remedy- (one of the strings on the violin breaks) YYYYY! NOT AGAIN!
-
My grandpa fought in World War II…
My grandpa fought in World War II…
My grandpa fought in World War II… oh COME ON! REMEMBER THE LINES, POY!
My grandpa fought in World War II
He was such a noble dude
I can't even finish… I can’t even finish… POY CAN’T EVEN FINISH THIS LINE! (slams the table)
(The montage ends and it cuts to him playing the song well)
Poy: Poy has finally done it! He has played World’s Smallest Violin on his own violin… greatly! This is great! Poy can’t wait to show them who the best violin player in the world is!
(Poy then spots a pill bug on the table)
Poy: Roly poly! C’mere, boy!
(The pill bug ignores him)
Poy: Aw, don’t be shy.
(Poy touches the pill bug to pick it up, but he suddenly gets zapped by it)
Poy: OW! What was that for-?
(He notices that he has been shrunk down to the pill bug’s size)
Poy: WHAT THE HELL? POY’S SMALL! Just like… (gasps) the world’s smallest violin! But… (camera pans over to the violin which is now massive compared to him) Poy can’t play his violin anymore… he won’t win the contest. Not like this.
(Poy sighs in disappointment as he looks up at the violin)
Poy: But maybe… no… you know what? Poy’ll still do it. FOR WORLD’S SMALLEST VIOLIN!
(Fanfare music plays as another montage of him practicing the violin plays, only this time he is small)
(Poy is seen attempting to play the violin, jumping to pluck the strings)
Poy: Ack, this is too hard! Poy can’t do it… no wait, he can! For the World's Smallest Violin!
(Miraculously, Poy manages to pluck the strings, and starts playing the song well)
-
Poy: Phew, this is getting tiring. Poy’s gonna go get a Vimto.
(Poy jumps from the table onto the fridge handle and pulls on it. He hops onto the shelf with the Vimto soda cans on them, and grabs one. He leaps back onto the table and opens the can)
Poy: Whew, even drink breaks are exhausting now.
(Poy gets the soda all over himself because of how small he is)
Poy: OH COME ON!
-
(Poy is now playing the violin almost flawlessly)
Poy: Determination… (reaches for the strings again) is… (reaches for the strings again) KEY!
Bird: Tweet tweet
Poy: Yes, Bird, you are much larger than Poy now. No need to mock him, it makes Poy’s feelings hurt!
Bird: Tweet tweet
Poy: Moving on, then.
I know I'm not there mentally
But you could be the remedy
So let me play my violin for… YOU!
(Poy drops the violin bow and starts panting)
Poy: Poy… Poy thinks he’s ready.
(Transition to the next day, where AJR are shuffling papers)
Adam: Guys, why are we shuffling papers?
Jack: I dunno, it looks productive.
Golfpecks: UNPRODUCTIVE!
Adam: Who’s this scruffy looking loser?
Golfpecks: I WAS NEVER HERE! BIDEN 2024! (vanishes)
Ryan: We really need to lay off the beer.
(The other two laugh as they promptly chug their beer cans)
Adam: Oh shit I just remembered, the performance is in five minutes!
Jack: (violently burping) Aw, do we have to do this? I don’t wanna.
Adam: Hey, we aren’t pussies. We’re AJR!
Ryan: That is true. Let’s do this thing!
(Cut to Poy entering the concert hall with his violin in his case)
Poy: Stay confident, Poy. For the World's Smallest Violin!
Ryan: Hey guys, there’s a really small kid heading our way.
Jack: (looking at Poy) Lmao he’s so small.
Poy: Small and mighty!
Jack: Yeah yeah whatever you say, Mack. Show us what ya got.
Poy: Okay. Be prepared for the performance of a lifetime!
(Poy unpacks his violin)
Poy: Play the instrumental, would you?
Jack: Oh right, that one song we did.
(Jack puts on the World’s Smallest Violin instrumental, and Poy starts performing)
My grandpa fought in World War II
He was such a noble dude
Adam: That's all this guy’s got?
Jack: I still can’t get over how tiny he is.
Ryan: In a way, it makes his performance all the more impressive.
Jack: STOP MAKING VALID POINTS!
(Oh, my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my shit don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be sad (one, two, three, four)
Adam: I feel like we could’ve done better with some of these lyrics, huh guys?
(Jack slaps Adam)
Adam: OW! What was that for?!
Jack: I dunno, instinct.
This feels like a necessity
So this could be the death of me
Or maybe just a better me
Now, come in with the timpanis
And take a shot of Hennessy
(All three AJR members are seen heavily drinking)
I know I'm not there mentally
(Adam cries out of nowhere)
But you could be the remedy
So let me play my violin for.. YOUUUU!
Poy: (starts panting) So… how was Poy’s performance?
(AJR stare at each other in silence; they slowly applaud, which steadily turns into normal applause; Poy grins)
Jack: I can’t believe I’m saying this but… you did a better performance than any of us did.
Adam: Jack!
Jack: What? I’m just spitting facts.
Poy: Poy is… (wipes a tear from his eye) grateful. Thank you, thank you!
Ryan: Y’know, maybe this contest wasn’t such a bad idea after all. My face didn’t even get eaten this time!
Jack: Don’t jinx it, dude.
Ryan: Right. Anyway, I think it’s safe to say this Poy dude is our biggest fan. Besides all the… (shudders) stans.
Jack: (puts a hand on Ryan’s shoulder) It’s okay Ryan, it’s okay. Twitter is a beast no one can control.
Ryan: (sniffles) Thanks.
Adam: Wait, we never figured out a prize for our little champion! What’ll it be… Poy?
Poy: All Poy wants is a Nintendo Switch OLED.
Ryan: John!
John: (off-screen) Ugh, fine. 
(John tosses Poy a package with the Nintendo Switch OLED model in it)
Poy: Poy says thank you!
John: (grumbles off-screen)
Ryan: Honestly we were going to have more than one contestant, but… I don’t think any of them are able to play it as well and as small as you.
Poy: Yay! Poy will see you guys again someday!
(Poy leaves the concert building)
Ryan: What a guy. What do you two think? …guys?
(The other two are once again intensely drinking)
Jack: (burps) Holy shit, is this KFC flavored?!
Ryan: Ugh… forget it.
(Fade back to Poy’s house, where he is trying to set up his new Switch)
Poy: Ugh, Poy can’t even reach the Joy-Cons! Poy wishes he could be normal-sized again…
(Suddenly, Poy grows back to normal size)
Poy: What the-? YAY! SWITCH TIME!
John: (grumbles off-screen again)
(end)
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