Unhealthy Competition/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Unhealthy Competition".
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(The camera reveals an extremely long green branch of Stoutberries almost ripe. A sleeping Smidge’s eyebrow twitches as they grow bigger and she wakes up.)
Smidge: (gasps) It has begun. (Outside, she puts on a pair of gloves and grabs onto one the Stoutberries and slides on the branch like a zipline.) Woo-hoooooo! Wheeeeeee! (As she slides, the Stoutberries slide along with her. Then she reaches the end and lands on a pile of Stoutberries.) Aw. I missed you guys so much since last season. Now prepare to die, you tasty little devils. (She squeezes a berry and juice flies into her mouth. Poppy is making an announcement to the Troll Village residents.)
Poppy: In other announcements, the waterpark is closed while we unclog a massive hair ball. (Three Trolls unclog a huge hair ball of Trolls including Mr. Dinkles from the waterslide.)
Mr. Dinkles: Meep.
Poppy: Again. Also, be on the lookout. Strange growls have been heard in the forest. (The crowd shudders in fear.) Current theories include: dangerous predator, earthquake, or… (Loud rumbling is heard and the crowd gasps. The camera moves to Peppy who is sleeping.) OK. Mystery solved. Up next, and please… don’t… freak out when I say this… but… (She speaks quickly.) ... Smidge’s Stoutberry Juice is available at the market. (The crowd cheers and runs to get Stoutberry juice. As they run, some Trolls trip and fall. At the market, Smidge’s juice shop is open.)
Smidge: 3… 2… (A very long line of Trolls appears. Satin and Chenille are in the front.) No need to push, friends. Mama Smidge has plenty to go around. (She starts getting the juice ready with style and high speed. Then she starts giving the juice to the Trolls.)
All: Smidge! Smidge! Smidge! Smidge!
Troll #1: Yeah!
Satin: Thanks, Smidge. Your juice is so good, it’s the only thing Chenille and I agree on.
Chenille: No, it’s the only thing we don’t disagree on. (They growl at each other.)
Cooper: I love your Stoutberry juice so much, it’s practically family. (He pictures himself marrying his juice.)
Poppy: I now pronounce you Troll and juice. You may kiss the bride. (The Trolls cheer as Cooper kisses the juice bottle. Then it falls to the ground and shatters.)
Cooper: (gasps) Janice! (The crowd screams in terror. We go back to reality.) Dang. Our love affair is doomed from the start, juice. And I’m fine with it! (He drinks the entire bottle.)
Poppy: (As Smidge is getting more drinks ready) You’re a machine, Smidge. How do you not get worn out be squeezing all those berries?
Smidge: I just love getting to do something nice for everyone, something only I can do.
DJ Suki: Ladies and gentlemen, Trolls of all ages, Guy Diamond Incorporated proudly presents the taste sensation that’s sweeping Troll nation… GLITTERADE! (Guy Diamond appears in his shop in a flash of glitter. He takes out some of his drinks.)
Guy Diamond: Say hello to Glitterade! The Stoutberry juice you know and love, with one secret ingredient… but I’ll never tell. (He does a glitter fart. The crowd runs over to get some Glitterade while Smidge watches in shock.)
Chenille: Juice and glitter? Tres chic.
Satin: I want to disagree, but I can’t. Chic upheld. (Smidge gasps in horror while Biggie gasps in astonishment. Mr. Dinkles makes slurping sounds and Biggie puts his head into the glass and he drinks it. Smidge growls angrily and squeezes a Stoutberry.)
Poppy: Smidge… it’s OK. Breath. I know someone else providing juice might feel threatening… (Smidge growls again.) But it’s a big market, right? Plenty of thirsty Trolls for everyone. (Smidge angrily leaves her shop.) Smidge? (Smidge walks to Guy Diamond.)
Smidge: Hey. Flashy presentation there, Guy. But did you say this is made with Stoutberries? ‘Cause everybody knows I’m the only Troll strong enough to juice Stoutberries.
Guy Diamond: I thought so, too, Smidge, but then I realized, there’s more than one way to skin a berry. Observe. (He puts a zipper on a Stoutberry and zips some juice into a bottle.) Spa-loosh! (The Trolls cheer for him.)
Smidge: Guy? A word? (She uses her hair to wrap around Guy Diamond’s shop.)
Guy Diamond: Something on your mind, Smidge?
Smidge: Me? Oh, no. I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your juice stand. It’s too bad you have to shut it down.
Guy Diamond: Uh, shut it down?
Smidge: You know, ‘cause you realized Stoutberry juice is my thing, silly. (She laughs rhythmically.)
Guy Diamond: I see. Smidge, I wasn’t trying to take your thing. I- (Smidge covers his mouth.)
Smidge: Uh-uh-uh. No need for apologies. Okay, good luck with your next venture. Bye-bye! (She uncovers Guy Diamonds mouth and his shop.)
Guy Diamond: (As Smidge leaves) Oh, no. This is not over. (He grabs Smidge with his hair and covers his shop again.) Look, Smidge, I got into the juice game ‘cause it looked fun, and frankly, I liked the attention. And I am not leaving just ‘cause you say so.
Smidge: (angry) Shut it down, or I’ll shut it down for you!
Guy Diamond: (As he and Smidge tough each other’s foreheads) Bring… it… on. (Their bracelets chime.)
Poppy: It’s hug time! (Guy Diamond and Smidge hug and growl at each other. The next day, Guy Diamond’s shop opens.)
Guy Diamond: Glitterade open for business, y’all! Come, take your tongue skydiving through a lightning storm of flavor!
All: Mm! (Smidge appears with a red shop arrow.)
Smidge: Or get a Berry Juice. This way!
Cooper: You know, I thought I wanted Glitterade, but that sign has some crazy power over me. (Smidge laughs while Guy Diamond growls. Smidge spins the arrow.) Oh, it spins, too?! (chuckles) You don’t play fair, sign. (The Trolls chatter as they head to Smidge’s shop.)
Guy Diamond: Slow your roll, Trolls! And get and eyeful of this. (He moves his hair as it uses a happy face like a balloon.)
Cooper: I mean, well, I can’t not follow a silly tall dude flappin’ in the wind. I’m not made of stone. (The Trolls head to Guy Diamond’s shop. Annoyed, Smidge puts down her arrow.)
Smidge: Attention, attention. Berry Juice now available in our overwhelming new size, the Big Smidge! ‘Cause there’s nothing better than drinking cool, refreshing juice than drinking one-third your body weight in cool, refreshing juice. (The Trolls head over to her shop, but Guy Diamond stops them.)
Guy Diamond: (With a teal balloon elephant) You call that overwhelming? Then clearly you haven’t taken a drink from the Glitter Cannon! (He squeezes the balloon elephant’s nose and Glitterade sprays out. The Trolls run over to check it out.)
Cooper: Oh, oh, oh! Move! (Glitterade flies into the Trolls’ mouths, knocking them back. Smidge growls angrily. Later, while the Trolls are at the beach, she appears in a bug.)
Smidge: That’s right. It’s your friendly neighbor Berry Juice Bug. (The Trolls run over to her.) Now the juice comes to you! (Just as she is about to give juice to her customers, a shadow appears and upbeat dance music is heard.)
Guy Diamond: (In a blue blimp) How’s about some Glitterade? Proud sponsor of the Glitterade Blimp. (He throws some Glitterade down to the crowd.) Whoo! Oh, yeah! (Smidge grumbles and takes the Stoutberry juice out of the bug with her.)
Smidge: Berry Juice? Berry Juice? (The Trolls ignore her.) Berry Juice? Berry Juice?  (Guy Diamond’s blimp lands on her shop, destroying it.)
Guy Diamond: My bad. Uh, kind of hard to steer. (Smidge gasps in horror and drops the juice she was carrying. At her pod, she looks at herself in the mirror and becomes angry.)
Smidge: That’s it. No more Mrs. Nice Smidge. This is a job for… (She puts on a brown coat, hat, sunglasses and mustache as a disguise. Then she talks in a high-pitched voice.) Professor Happy Smile Times! (Soon she comes to Guy Diamond’s shop.)
Guy Diamond: Hello, stranger. Care to tango with a taste tornado? (He throws his drink to his other hand.)
Smidge: Indeed. After all, I am just a naïve Troll who is easily impressed by style over substance.
Guy Diamond: Compliment… (He clicks his tongue.) …accepted.
Smidge: In fact, I’d like to order eight barrels of Glitterade for a party I’m having in Misty Meadows today, ASAP.
Guy Diamond: Misty Meadows? That’d take all day. And I-I have so many customers.
Troll #2: Hi!
Smidge: Too bad. I’m inviting 500 VIP creatures from the forest, and you’d certainly be the center of attention. (She walks away.)
Guy Diamond: Center of attention? (He pushes his customers away with his hair.) Sorry! We’re closed. (He leaves in a purple bug carriage with the barrels of juice in the back.) I’ll take the job, stranger. Hyah! (Smidge chuckles wickedly. The Trolls whimper sadly over Guy Diamond’s shop closed.)
Smidge: (No longer in her disguise) Well, well, well. Guess that guy really doesn’t value his customers. Oh, well. (She whistles and her Juice Bug appears.) Who’s thirsty?! (We show a montage of Smidge giving her juice to the Trolls. The song Party On plays during that.)
(Smidge)
If you know how to party
Let’s see you get started
We go all out whole-heart-y
Till we can’t no more
Woo-hoo!
We sure to keep it poppin’
These Trolls ain’t never stoppin’
We rollin’ and we rockin’
Till the break-a of dawn (The Trolls throw Smidge into the air.)
Poppy: (As the microphone feedback whines) Attention, Trolls! (She appears on a Flyer Bug.) Emergency announcement update. The growls heard recently were not King Peppy. They were Growl Beasts. (The crowd chatters concernedly.) Don’t worry. We’ve spotted the herd, and they’re headed away from the village towards Misty Meadows. So, please, no Troll should go near Misty Meadows for any reason.
Smidge: Misty Meadows?! (Meanwhile, Guy Diamond is in Misty Meadows searching for the party.)
Guy Diamond: Hello? Anybody here for a party? (In the bushes, a group of Growl Beasts growl.)
Smidge: Oh, my Guh! (She runs to Misty Meadows to find Guy Diamond.) Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh! (She runs up a little hill.) Guy! Guy Diamond!
Guy Diamond: Well, well, well. The competition.
Smidge: Guy, you got to get out of here. Growl Beasts are headed this way.
Guy Diamond: Ha! You really think I’m that dumb?! Sorry, but I have it on authority of a weird stranger that 500 VIPs out there in the middle of nowhere, and… OMG, that was you. You lied… about VIPs? (gaps) Is nothing sacred?
Smidge: Uh, I wouldn’t have lied if you hadn’t stolen my thing and-
Guy Diamond: (Using his hair as a hand) Talk to the hair, Smidge. Talk to the hair. (He whips and the carriage moves slowly.)
Smidge: No. Don’t go, Guy. It’s dangerous!
Guy Diamond: So what?! I’d rather face an entire herd of Growl Beasts than spend another minute with a backstabber like you, Smidge! (The Growl Beasts appear.) Aah! (He backs up.) Nope! Wrong! (He puts Smidge in the carriage with his hair.) I was wrong! Aah! (He steers the carriage the opposite direction. The Growl Beasts chase him and Smidge. The bug hits a rock, knocking the carriage over along with Smidge and Guy Diamond. They hide in the carriage while the Growl Beasts search for them. Smidge looks at the juice barrels.)
Smidge: Look, Guy, this is all my fault. But I’m sure we can get out of it if we do what we do best.
Guy Diamond: Hm?
Smidge: Sell juice.
Guy Diamond: Hmm. (He and Smidge do fist bumps.) Ha!
Smidge: Ah! (She punches the bottom of the carriage and a piece of wood breaks.) I’m so hungry. But the only thing to eat is the flesh and blood of smaller creatures. Oh, well. I guess my life is just terrible.
Guy Diamond: Not anymore! (He appears in a flash of glitter.)
Smidge: Mr. Glitter?!
Guy Diamond: The one and only! Here to tame that hunger with the effervescent of… Glitterade! (The Growl Beasts grunt and Smidge drinks a bottle of Glitterade.)
Smidge: Wow! If “joy-tastic” was a word, this would taste joy-tastic!
Guy Diamond: And that’s not all. Glitterade is also known to reduce excessive shedding and conditions related to eating Trolls, like color blindness, night boredom, the sudden to gamble, and chronic bad breath. (The Growl Beasts smile.)
Smidge: Chronic bad breath!
Guy Diamond: So drink Glitterade!
Smidge: The number-one alternative to eating Trolls.
Both: (Toasting each other) Yeah! (They back up from each other while drinking. The Growl Beasts hit the carriage to get the barrels of the drink. Smidge and Guy Diamond yell as it rolls away. After a few seconds, it stops. Smidge watches as the Growl Beasts drink the Glitterade. Then she and Guy Diamond run away.)
Smidge: What do you know? We actually make a pretty good team.
Guy Diamond: No doubt. Maybe from now on, we should be making juice together. (He and Smidge smile at each other and look away from each other.)
Both: Nah. (They laugh and growl.)
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