Disneys Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar (1994) Transcript

(After the green FBI warnings, the theatrical trailer for "The Lion King" starts playing)
(After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, the screen fades from black, revealing the sun rising)
African Singer: (sings) Nants...ingonyama...bagithi Baba!
African Chorus: (singing) Sithi uhm ingonyama eyi...
Woman: (singing) It's the circle of life! And it moves us all!
Mufasa: We are all connected in the grand Circle of Life.
Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents its all-new 32nd feature-length animated motion picture: "The Lion King".
(Rafiki raises newborn Simba into the air and the animals cheer)
He was born to rule.
Young Simba: (Runs to the edge of Pride Rock) This will all be mine?
Mufasa: Everything the light touches.
Young Simba: Wow.
Mark Elliott: But a shadow lies over the kingdom.
Scar: I will be king!
(Camera zooms in on Young Simba's frightened face)
Run away and never return.
(After a silent clip of the hyenas chasing Young Simba through the gorge, we cut to Banzai shouting as Simba keeps running into the sunset)
Banzai: If you ever come back......we'll murder you!
Pumbaa: Hey, boy, what's eating you?
Young Simba: I don't wanna speak about it.
Timon: He looks blue.
(Screen focuses on Young Simba walking off, separate from the camera)
Pumbaa: I'd say brownish-gold.
Timon: No, no, no, no. I mean he's depressed.
(We cut to Pumbaa speaking to Young Simba)
Pumbaa: Anything we can do?
Young Simba: Not unless you can change the past.
Mark Elliott: He grew up hoping to leave his old life behind.
Rafiki: I know who you are. You're Mufasa's boy.
Nala: (Opens her eyes in realization) You're the king!
Timon: King? Have you found your lions crossed!
Simba: You knew my father? Rafiki: Correction, I know your father.
Simba: I hate to warn you this. But he died, a long time ago.
Rafiki: No! Wrong again! (Runs while laughing) He's alive! And I'll show him to you.
Simba: Father?
Ghost Mufasa: You are my son and the one true king.
Rafiki: You see, he lives in you.
Ghost Mufasa: You must take your place in the Circle of Life.
Nala: Simba!
Mark Elliott: It's a legendary tale, filled with emotion.
Banzai: YOW!!
Mark Elliott: Plus dozens of wonderful new characters.
(Pumbaa shrieks at the sight of Adult Nala)
Timon: Why do I always have to save your... (Shrieks as Adult Nala is about to charge at Timon)
Mark Elliott: And featuring original music and songs by Grammy winner Elton John and Academy Award winner Tim Rice.
Young Simba, Young Nala and Other Animals: (singing) Just can't wait to be king!
Mark Elliott: This summer, Walt Disney Pictures presents an entertainment event you'll never forget!
African Chorus: (singing) The circle of....circle of...liiiiife!
(The title is presented on the final note until it fades to black. Screen fades from black, revealing the red subtitle, "June 24th" until it also fades to black)
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Jim Henson Video logo)
Brian Cummings: Coming only to videocassette!
(Fozzie's servants are impressed at the sight of him wearing slippers on his ears)
Some old friends are putting their heads together.
(Andy and Randy Pig headbutt each other from separate sides of the screen)
Miss Piggy/Queen Midas: HI-YAH!! (Kicks the dog playing the jeweler)
Dog/Royal Jeweler: Unh!
Brian Cummings: For the funniest video of the year!
Kermit and Robin: YE-EE-EE-ES!!
(The title is shown in front of the footage of Miss Piggy dancing with the golden Kermit statue)
Brian Cummings: "Muppet Classic Theater"!
Fozzie/Emperor: (Presents his slippers on his ears) Aah!
(Three seconds of silent clips are presented)
Brian Cummings: It's the Muppets like you've never seen them before.
Fozzie/Emperor: NAKED!!
Brian Cummings: It's Kermit the Frog.
Kermit/King: You shall be my queen!
(We cut to Miss Piggy from down below)
Brian Cummings: And Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy: (Faces the screen victoriously) Yes!
Brian Cummings: Along with Fozzie Bear, Gonzo and Rizzo the rat.
Rizzo: Hey, say. Here's a time-honored tail. Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Brian Cummings: It's six stories in one videocassette!
Rizzo: Cool!
Brian Cummings: There's "The Three Little Pigs".
Randy Pig: (Turns to Andy) It's a wolf.
Andy Pig: I warned you!
(Andy and Randy shriek and run for dear lives out of the shot going right)
Brian Cummings: "The Emperor's New Clothes".
Fozzie/Emperor: Lovely.
Brian Cummings: "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".
Gonzo/Shepherd: It's a real wolf! Long muzzle, big teeth, bad breath!
(Kermit shrieks and puts his hands on the sides of his head, turning himself to a golden statue by incident)
Brian Cummings: "King Midas".
Miss Piggy/Queen Midas: THE KING HAS TURNED HIMSELF TO GOLD!!
Royal Subjects: Rah!
Brian Cummings: "Rumpelstiltskin".
Gonzo/Rumpelstiltskin: (Appears in a cloud of smoke and cackles) Ooh, must get that fixed.
Miss Piggy: (Faces the camera) What a weird little man.
Brian Cummings: And "The Elves and the Shoemaker".
Rizzo: (Has an idea) Hey, a story about Elvis?
Head Elvise: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Elvises: (singing) Special kind of leather that'll put a little rhythm in your shoes.
Brian Cummings: It's six incredible Muppet fairy tales in the one videocassette you've just had to have.
(Gonzo's foot gets tangled to the rope and is yanked up as he shrieks)
Elvises: (singing) You have your blue suede shoes.
(Gonzo smashes onto the stage from the ceiling)
No more bad shoe blues!
(The title appears outside of the Muppet theater. After the announcer says the title, the words "Coming Soon to Video" fade in)
Brian Cummings: "Muppet Classic Theater"!
Elvises: Thank you.
Rizzo: Ladies and gentlemen, the elves have left the building.
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Touchstone Home Video logo)
Tony Clarkin: From Touchstone Home Video, get ready for a movie the critics have unanimously declared absolutely the year's most incredible film and an instant classic for both children and grown-ups.
Sally: Ooh!
Tony Clarkin: Siskel and Ebert gave two thumbs up!
Jack: Eureka!
Tony Clarkin: From the imagination of Tim Burton comes "The Nightmare Before Christmas".
Lock, Shock and Barrel: Trick or treat!
Santa Claus: What?
Tony Clarkin: Enter an extraordinary world where every day is Halloween...
Ghosts: Whoo!
Tony Clarkin: And every night, Jack Skellington dreams of something more.
Jack Skellington: Woaahhhh!!!! (sings) What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere. What's this? There's white facts in the air. What's this? I can't believe my eyes. I must be dreaming. Wake up, Jack! This isn't fair! WHAT...IS...THIS?!
Saxophone Player: Nice work, Bone Daddy.
Tony Clarkin: As Jack discovers the magic of Christmas, he decides to fill Santa's shoes.
Mummy Boy: (singing) Making Christmas!
People of Halloween Town: (singing) Making Christmas! La-la-la!
Jack Skellington: To the head of the team, Zero.
Tony Clarkin: And now, he's turning the holiday world upside down. Touchstone Home Video presents the enchanting tale of two very special dreamers and the holiday spirit that brought them together. Soon you can own the movie that's a fun-filled delight for the entire family. Tim Burton's "The Nightmare Before Christmas".
Mother: What did Santa bring you, darling?
Timmie's Parents: AARRGGHH!!
Tony Clarkin: Coming to video this fall. Rated PG!
(After the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo, the screen fades over to the dwarfs mining for diamonds)
Doc: (sings) Heigh-ho.
Mark Elliott: It's your favorite Disney movie of all time!
Seven Dwarfs: (singing) Heigh-ho.
Mark Elliott: It's the one you've been waiting for!
Seven Dwarfs: (singing) Heigh-ho, heigh-ho...
Mark Elliott: And now, it's eventually coming to home video!
Seven Dwarfs: (singing) Heigh-ho, heigh-ho!
Mark Elliott: Walt Disney's masterpiece: "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs".
Seven Dwarfs: Hooray!
Mark Elliott: It's the classic story of a beautiful princess...
The Evil Queen: Who is the fairest one of all?
Magic Mirror: Snow White.
The Evil Queen: Snow White!
Mark Elliott: The evil queen who would stop at nothing to destroy her...
Evil Queen: A poison apple. Have a bite. And I'll be fairest in the land!
(The Evil Queen aims her potion into the lightning bolt into the stormy heavens)
Seven Dwarfs: The Queen! Snow White!
Mark Elliott: And the Seven Dwarfs who came to the rescue.
Grumpy: We must save her!
Snow White: Aah!
(The screen flashes during a thunderclap, revealing the seven dwarfs riding deer through the forest as it rains)
Mark Elliott: It's the first time on video for Snow White, Sleepy, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy...
Grumpy: Ha!
Mark Elliott: Dopey and...
Sneezy: Eeh-ahh-oh-ahh-oh-ehh-ah...
(Sneezy inhales twice, until Dopey and Grumpy plug up their nostrils)
Mark Elliott: Sneezy.
Sneezy: Achoo!
Mark Elliott: Now you can experience all the magic...
Grumpy: Mush!
Mark Elliott: And all the fun....
(Dopey sprays water in his ears)
of the biggest animated motion picture of all time. Walt Disney's timeless classic, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". Coming to videocassette for a very limited time. Don't miss your chance to share Disney's masterpiece with your family!
(Screen fades from black, revealing a purple background. The words "Feature Presentation" are written out during a fanfare)
Mark Elliott: And now, our feature presentation.
(The 1986 Walt Disney Home Video logo is shown and the movie starts)
(Screen cuts from black, revealing a desert, night. As the movie opens, the peddler, who started off last time, sings a different version of "Arabian Nights" as a band of thieves ride through the night toward parts unknown following a raid in an also undisclosed location)
Peddler: (sings) Follow me to a place where incredible feats
Are routine every hour or so
Where enchantment runs rampant
Yes, wild in the streets Open sesame, here we go! Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
They tease in emotion
Take off and take flight
They shock and amaze
Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of best fashions
(As the song continues, the thieves and their steeds ride towards an opening in a tall ridge. They cross over a pit, through a long tunnel and into the ruins of an underground temple, which is revealed to be their hideout)
Pack your shields, pack your swords
You won't ever get bored
Though get beaten or gored you might
Come on down, stop on fast Jump a carpet and fly
To another Arabian night!
Arabian niiiiight!
(The song ends, and the thieves enter their hideout. Decayed or fallen columns litter the area, and several other unknown thieves peer from behind them as their comrades return with the loot they have plundered, mostly gold coins, jewels, and a chest)
Thief #1: This night has been quite rewarding.
Thief #2: (laughing) We have never stolen so much. (as he talks, a furry hand snatches a golden cup from him and other things from Thief #1, but they take no notice) We have gathered much loot tonight. No thanks to our leader.
(The two thieves look frustratedly towards a short, obese man with tan skin, black hair and goatee wearing a turban and red shoes. This is their so-called "leader", Abis Mal. As we see him, he has his hand stuck in the neck of a vase. He eventually pulls it free and lands on a rock, but the vase wobbles and breaks. His men frown at him for his blunder)
Abis Mal: (defensively) Well, it only looked expensive. (opens the chest to reveal its contents are several golden items) Is this a haul or what, my surly band of desert skunks?
(Mal reaches into the chest, and takes out what appears to be a crystallized flower. He then puts it in his belt, irking his men even further)
Thief #1: How is this you get the jeweled flower, Abis Mal?
Abis Mal: (smug) Why, this is my bonus for being your beloved leader. (points to the chest and a burlap sack complete with jewels) This and that and that are my beloved leader bonus.
Thief #1: And what is *our* reward?
All Thieves: Huh?
Abis Mal: (hands them a small bag of coins) Here you go. Nice work, boys. Very successful raid.
(This, as anyone can imagine, is the last straw for the thieves. But before they can throttle Mal for his greediness, the chest suddenly gets up and moves, as if by magic)
Thief #1: The chest! It moves!
Thief #2: It cannot be!
Thief #1: What is holding it up?
Abis Mal: (shrieking, frightened) Ah! Ghosts!
(But one of the thieves, seeing something the others do not, picks up the chest and reveals that it is being carried by none other than Abu, Aladdin's pet monkey. Abu, realizing he no longer has the chest, stops and looks up)
Abu: (hesitantly) Hello.
Abis Mal: (frustratedly grabs Abu) You foolish monkey!
Aladdin: (off-screen) Put him down, Abis Mal!
(Abu pulls Mal's turban over his head. A second later, a young man wearing puffy white pants, yellowish-brown shoes, a vest and a fez walks on the heads of Mal's men and steps in front of him. This is our hero, Aladdin. Then Abu scrambles up to his shoulder)
Abis Mal: Who are you?
Aladdin: My friends call me Al. You can call me Aladdin.
Abis Mal: Hurt him!
(Mal's men charge at Aladdin with their swords drawn, ready to tear him asunder. They jump at him from all sides, but as the dust clears, the street rat is nowhere to be found)
Thieves: What? Where did he go?
(While they're distracted, Aladdin grabs the sack complete with the thieves' loot and runs away)
Thief #1: There!
Thief #2: He has our loot!
Abis Mal: Don't let him get away! He must not escape!
(Aladdin leaps over a wall and onto the back of a horse, but it bucks him away. Thief #3 takes a swipe at him, but misses)
Thief #3: Why, you...
Aladdin: (grabs a candelabra from the sack and uses it to catch his opponent's sword) Hey!
(Aladdin flings the sword off, and it slices away part of Mal's turban, frustrating him. Thief #3 tries to slash him again, but only ends up cutting a rope. It goes up, taking Aladdin with it. The thieves all look up frustratedly, but soon are hit by what's on the other end of the rope; a ceiling lamp. Aladdin jumps off the rope, but is greeted below by the thieves, who raise their swords up, hoping he will impale himself on them. But just as Aladdin is about to be skewered, Carpet flies in, saves him and zooms over Mal's head)
Abis Mal: A flying carpet? He has a flying carpet
Aladdin: Nice catch, Carpet.
(Carpet flies Aladdin over the thieves, too fast for them to even get close to them)
Abu: PBBBBBBTTT!!!
Aladdin: Pardon me!
(Aladdin circles around a thief and tugs at his belt, spinning him around, and causing him to bowl the others over. Meanwhile, Aladdin spots the rest of the loot and catches it as he swoops down)
Aladdin: Yes!
Abis Mal: Come back here!
(Mal grabs onto Carpet as it whisks past him. He frowns at Abu, who sees the jeweled flower and swipes it)
Abis Mal: That's mine! (realizes, albeit useless, that he let go of Carpet) Woah!
(Mal plummets into the hand of a statue, and it falls with him. Then he is conked on the head by a falling stone)
Aladdin: Next stop, Agrabah.
Thieves: Shut the door! He's escaping!
(They try to close the hideout doors, hoping to trap Aladdin, but the street rat slips through just as the doors close. He, along with his ride and monkey, fly out into the desert just as dawn begins to break)
(Screen fades to the desert, day. A gentle breeze blows across the landscape, which is mostly sand dunes and rocks jutting out of them. Just then, where the Cave of Wonders once stood, a small lump of sand starts to form. It is revealed to be Iago, the sassy speaking parrot henchman of Jafar. He emerges, coughing and spitting out sand as he digs his way out)
Iago: Eventually! (groaning) This is terrific! UNNNGGGGGHHHH!!
(He eventually frees himself from the sand, his lower half stuck in Jafar's lamp. As soon as he lands, he pats his ears, dislodging several clods of sand from them)
Iago: I have sand in places I didn't even know I had.
Jafar: (from inside his lamp) Spare me your prattling, Iago! Are we out yet?
Iago: (annoyed; mocking Jafar) "Are we out yet? Are we out yet?" (normal voice) Yes, we're out! No thanks to you. (jumps around, trying to get his legs out of the lamp, which clanks as he does so) If it weren't for me, you'd be stuck down there forever! OOHHHH!!
(Though he is unseen for now, Jafar frustratedly blasts Iago out of his lamp, and he gets his head stuck in a sand dune)
Jafar: IAGO!! You will now release me......where that I may have my revenge.
(Iago pulls his head out of the sand and shakes it away)
Iago: Yes, yes, if I'm nice and ready.
Jafar: DO AS I SAY, YOU WORTHLESS PIPSQUEAK!!
(Iago, who is starting to think Jafar has took him for granted all this time, flies over to his lamp to remind him who the real brains of their outfit is)
Iago: You know something? You're nothing without me.
Jafar: (outraged) What?!
Iago: Who comes up with all the best ideas? Me! Who does all the work? ME!!
Jafar: If it weren't for me, you'd yet be in a cage at the bazaar, squawking, "Polly want a cracker!"
(This just makes Iago even angrier. Having to spend a year in a lamp with very little to no leg room with Jafar is bad enough, but having to be reminded at what he was before they met is truly the last straw. Then the irked parrot breaks into song)
Iago: (sings) That's it! I've had it!
I hate to be dramatic,
but it's time for me to fly the coop.
(Jafar blasts him, shaving away some feathers on the top of his head)
Terrific, well, fine!
I'm drawing the line,
Before I wind up in a parrot soup.
(He grabs Jafar's lamp and flies away towards a well)
I was a fool to let you run the show.
Jafar: (overlapping) What are you doing here?!
Iago: (singing) I'm cutting ya loose, pal.
Watch out below!
(Jafar falls shrieking as Iago drops his lamp in the well, which is about 1/4 complete with water)
Jafar: (overlapping) NoooooOOOO!!!!
Iago: (singing) Arrivederci, c'est la vie.
Hope all goes well.
I'm looking out for me!
(Screen fades to Agrabah, marketplace. Iago has gone there in hopes of reinventing himself)
Agrabah. Just a juicy golden goose ready for plucking... and I'm the one holding the tweezers. I'll be running this town inside a week! (turns and points a "finger" up a camel's nose) What's your problem, liver lips? You don't think I can do it?!
Alright, I'm little,
been playing second fiddle,
and I don't get no respect.
(The camel spits on Iago's tail, and he lands on a fence next to a goat)
I turn the other cheek,
but this busted beak
is the only thanks that I get!
(Omar, the fruit stand proprietor, is cleaning his stand as he suddenly notices a bunch of grapes moving by themselves. He picks them up, revealing Iago trying to steal them. He takes out a dagger and tries to stab Iago, but he flies off)
I never found a friend that I can trust.
They promise caviar and leave me eating dust.
(Iago lands on a flock of sheep being led by a shepherd and eats some of the grapes he managed to get away with)
That's some reward for loyalty.
From here on in....
I'm looking out for me!
(Cut to a jewelry stand. The proprietor there is examining an emerald necklace as he sees Iago wearing a turban, another necklace and several rings. Annoyed at the bird pilfering his wares, he frowns at Iago)
Ohh, I don't need nobody else.
I'll never fail.
I'll cover my own tail.
(On the next line, Iago flies away, evading several people who try to grab him and he lands on the back of an elephant. Several other animals, which include pigeons, camels, sheep and ducks dance with him. Then he slides off the elephant's trunk and resumes his dance)
I can take care of myself!
You know, it just don't pay to give a hoot.
I'm giving all my heart.
What do I get? The boot!
I'm through with that,
I'm flapping free.
From here on in....
I'm looking out for meeeee!
(As the song ends, Iago is hit with a watermelon and splatters against a wall, covered in juice and in grand pain. Omar and the other shopkeepers walk off, shaking their fists at the thieving parrot)
Omar: Steal from us again, and your scrawny body will be dinner for the jackals!
Iago: (moans) No problem.
(Then he slides off the wall and onto the ground, smashing into some pottery)
(Screen cuts to the marketplace, day. The flying object is revealed to be Aladdin and Abu. He takes the loot he stole from Abis Mal and throws it to the ground below)
Abu: What?
(Abu, willing to keep the treasure, freaks out and drapes himself over the sack, refusing to stay put)
Abu: No! No!
Aladdin: Abu!
Abu: No!
Aladdin: We're not the ones who need this money.
(Aladdin throws a gold stick down, and it is caught by an old man, who grins happily. The next of receive some of the gold is a poor woman and her children. They rejoice at their newfound fortune)
Poor Mother: A miracle!
Agrabah Citizen #1: Rain on me!
Agrabah Citizen #2: Gold from the heavens!
(Meanwhile, Abu dejectedly flicks a small emerald to the ground. Then Aladdin takes the jeweled flower from his vest)
Aladdin: Don't worry, Abu. I'm not throwing everything.
Abu: (triumphantly) Yes!
Aladdin: This is for Jasmine.
Abu: (shocked) No!
(Carpet makes his road up to the palace towers. Meanwhile, Aladdin lands on one of the palace's balconies, and immediately flinches at something off-screen)
Aladdin: Woah!
(The off-screen fact is revealed to be Rajah, Jasmine's tiger, who growls at the street rat and his pet monkey)
Abu: (Hides behind Magic Carpet) Oops.
(Rajah advances on Aladdin, not fond of his intrusion, and gets ready to attack. Aladdin stretches his arms in front of him to try and calm the ferocious tiger)
Aladdin: Easy, Rajah. You know me. Aladdin? (Rajah jumps on him, and eventually recognizing the street rat, licks his face affectionately) Alright, Rajah, that's it. I'm glad to see you, as well.
(Rajah gets off of Aladdin, and Abu sighs in relief, knowing the tiger won't try to cut them to pieces. Aladdin gets up and re-composes himself)
Aladdin: How do I look?
(Rajah and Abu look at Aladdin in confusion, not knowing how he can look any different than before being pounced)
Jasmine: (off-screen) I think you look fine.
Aladdin: Jasmine!
Jasmine: (to Aladdin) How were you? I missed you.
Aladdin: I had to pick up a few facts. This is for you.
(Everyone gasps silently at the jeweled flower, and even Jasmine is amazed)
Jasmine: Oh, Aladdin! It's lovely!
Abu: (imitating Jasmine) "Oh, it's lovely!"
Jasmine: (kisses Aladdin) It must've cost a fortune.
Aladdin: Oh, dear, it was a steal.
(Jasmine places the jeweled flower in a vase in her room, and Abu eyes it through a window)
Jasmine: Father wants you to join us for dinner tonight. He's going to make a royal announcement.
Aladdin: And he wants me there?
Jasmine: It's about you.
Aladdin: Am I in danger?
Jasmine: Well, let's just say this is a dinner you don't want to miss.
(Abu, who is hiding under Jasmine's vanity, reaches up and tries to take the jeweled flower, but gets a lily instead)
Aladdin: Jasmine, what's going on?
Jasmine: I promised Father I wouldn't spoil his surprise. You've made quite an impression, you know.
(Abu reaches up again, and this time, he actually gets the jeweled flower. But before he can drag it back under, Rajah puts out a paw and stops him. The monkey peeks out, and seeing the tiger growling at him, looks at him hesitantly)
Aladdin: Then I'm not in danger?
Jasmine: Of course not! You defeated Jafar, saved Agrabah and rescued a princess. Aladdin, you are a hero.
Aladdin: Yes, I guess so. That's me. Ready for anything! (sees Rajah chasing Abu, who has got the jeweled flower) Abu!
(Abu runs up a curtain and blows a raspberry at Rajah, thinking he is out of the tiger's reach, but the latter pulls on it with his mouth and the monkey falls over. Then he bounces away from Carpet and into a powder case, spraying it all over him and Aladdin)
Jasmine: (chuckles) You may want to change before dinner, though.
(Abu holds up the jeweled flower to show it's unharmed, but Aladdin just looks at him sternly)
(Cut to the palace gates. Sitting on top and looking down is none other than Iago, who, since his little musical number from chapter 1, is bemoaning his mournful predicament)
Iago: Seems like only yesterday, Jafar was running Agrabah, and I was his right-hand bird. (frustrated about Aladdin) But then he had to go and mess facts up! Now, I'm stuck on the outside looking. I must get back into the palace, (gasps) back into power!
(Cut to the palace, front door. Aladdin is dressed in his Prince Ali outfit, and along with Abu dressed similarly, gets ready for a stroll in the marketplace)
Aladdin: Well, my darling Abu, shall we see what the common folk are doing today?
Abu: Let's go!
Aladdin: (laughing) We have time for a stroll before our audience with the Sultan.
(Meanwhile, as they begin their walk, Iago looks down and is shocked to see that Aladdin and Abu now reside in the palace)
Iago: The street rat is living in the palace now? (outraged) Gah! That does it! All reports are in; life is now officially unfair! (suddenly gets an idea) But wait! Wait a second here! This is perfect! (flies off the gates and onto the ground toward where Aladdin and Abu are) That boy is my ticket back into power. (smears dust all over him to look like he has been through a fight) I'll just get Aladdin on my side with a little sympathy act. Then I'll be back in the palace again faster than you can say "Easy Street." (wearily) Aladdin!
Aladdin: What?
Iago: (crawling on the ground) Boy...eventually....got free...of...Jafar.
Aladdin: Iago! What are you doing here?
Iago: Where are you? Getting dark...hold me...
(Aladdin, not fooled by the parrot's facade, tries to grab him and he immediately flies up) 
Iago: Hey, I meant gentle-like!
Aladdin: You're not fooling anyone!
(Aladdin tries to make a grab for Iago while he tries to plead his case and get his sympathy)
Iago: No, wait, I'm serious! I was under Jafar's power! He mesmerized me with his snake staff! (makes himself look like Jafar's staff) Just like the Sultan.
(Iago flies away with Aladdin in pursuit, trying to nab him and bring him to justice)
Aladdin: You traitor, you!
(Suddenly, Aladdin runs smack into a familiar face; one of Abis Mal's men. He looks up to see that Mal is also there with the thief he bumped into, plus two more of his men and about twenty masked thieves, looking down and attempting to remember Aladdin in his current outfit)
Abis Mal: You...look familiar.
Both 2 Thieves: (annoyed) It's Aladdin.
Abis Mal: (surprised) Where?! It is? I knew that! Hurt him a lot! Hurt him and his monkey and his bird, as well!
(As if on cue, Aladdin jumps out of the road of Mal's men and back against a stack of barrels. Aladdin bumps the stack, and two of them fall on the first two thieves. The third just barges through and tries to cut them, but Aladdin uses a barrel as a shield. Then he throws the barrel at the thief, and it breaks on Thief #1, who raises his sword to stab Iago)
Thief #1: Treacherous parrot!
Iago: Look, I'm not with him!
(Thief #1 chases after Iago. Aladdin grabs a wooden pole from a broken stand and uses it to defend himself. Thief #1, yet chasing Iago, is soon interrupted by the other two thieves landing on him)
Iago: Monkey, help! They're after me!
(Mal, brandishing a fish, raises it and pounces on Iago, wrecking the concession stand. On Aladdin's end, he is yet using the wooden pole he snatched to defend himself, but soon it splits in two. Mal's men advance on him menacingly)
Thief #3: You won't dance out of this one!
(Iago, who is stuck in a watermelon by his head, pulls himself out)
Iago: That's it! Now I'm mad!
(Mal, stuck with his fish in his mouth and tangled in debris, spits it out and gets up to fight. He only takes two steps before slipping on the very fish he took. Meanwhile, two of Mal's men have Aladdin hostage while Thief #3 gets ready to eviscerate him. However, Iago is perched on a balcony, ready to make his move)
Iago: Mess with this bird, right?
(The parrot nudges a planter with a palm tree in it onto a board where Mal is lying, and it catapults him into his own men, bowling them over and freeing Aladdin. Then they land in a cart complete with chickens)
Iago: And I've had more where that came from!
Abu: Pah!
Egg Merchant: My eggs–– Ruined! Who will pay for them?
Abis Mal: (annoyed) Oh, go away.
Egg Merchant: Guards! Guards!
Razoul: What is the damage here?
Fazal: It is that thief, Abis Mal!
(Thief #1, however, soon pulls on the reins of the horse pulling the hen cart, and it rides away with Mal and his men on board. Razoul and the other guards chase after them)
Abis Mal: Woah!
Razoul: After them!
Iago: Jerks.
Aladdin: Thanks for your help. You saved me.
Iago: I did? Right! Oh, yes! Of course I saved you! It's my nature. I'm always rescuing facts. Cats, babies, guys like you, always rescuing.
(Abu, yet not willing to trust Iago despite him saving Aladdin's life, wraps him in Aladdin's turban)
Iago: Hey, what's going on?! Is this any fashion to treat your rescuer?! (as Iago's speaking, Aladdin thinks for a moment) You owe me, pal! I saved your life!
(Abu is about to bean Iago with what looks like a sausage, but Aladdin stops him, realizing Iago's right about owing him for the rescue)
Aladdin: Abu, wait! He's right. I do owe him.
Abu: What?
Aladdin: I'll see that the Sultan gives him a fair hearing.
Iago: (shocked) What?! (Cut to the palace garden. He is locked up in a birdcage and tries to fly out, but his beak gets stuck) The Sultan?!
Aladdin: (locks the cage) Don't worry, I'll talk to him, soften him up a little.
Iago: Are you joking? He hates me! (pulls his beak out) And what about the princess?!
Aladdin: Huh? No problem. I just have to make sure that Jasmine doesn't see you until I've gotten her ready.
(Little does he know, but Jasmine has heard every word he said)
Jasmine: Gotten me ready for what?
Aladdin: (surprised and hesitant) Ah! I mean...uh, um, for the...for the...for the stain...Abu had on the brand new vest you gave him.
Abu: I did not!
Jasmine: I don't see a stain.
Aladdin: (walks away with Jasmine) Uh, well, no problem, then. Off to dinner! Can't wait for that surprise.
Jasmine: (to Aladdin) Is something wrong?
Aladdin: (stammering) What? Wrong? Oh, c'mon! No, no, no, everything's just fine.
Jasmine: (suggestively) You aren't...hiding anything from me, are you? Any more...secrets?
Aladdin: S-s-s-s-secrets? (clears throat) Of course not! I almost lost you once that fashion. I'll never make that mistake again.
Both: What?
(At that moment, the ground begins to shake. Everyone looks around to see what's going on. Then a whirlpool of water appears down on the pool and makes a very artistic and big splash, along with everyone huddling together. Suddenly, the source of the disturbance is revealed to be...Genie wearing a Hawaiian shirt, hat, surfboard, bags of souvenirs and a luau necklace, having come back from his vacation. He jumps away from the wave with Aladdin and Jasmine grinning at his return)
Genie: He's big, he's blue and he's back! (breaks the fourth wall with his face getting closer to the audience)
(They all lean in to hug him, but as they do so, his skin suddenly turns red)
Aladdin: Genie!
Jasmine: You came back!
Genie: OOH, AH, OH! WATCH THE SUNBURN!! (turns back to his usual blue color) HA!! Joking! Did you miss me? Be honest. (to Abu) Take care of these, my nice mammal.
(Genie hands Abu his luggage, and the monkey falls to the ground from the immense weight)
Abu: Woah!
Genie: Careful, they're heavy! Hang on, I have souvenirs for everybody!
(He hands several souvenirs to everyone, which is the following: Aladdin; a sombrero from Mexico, Jasmine; a small totem pole from South Dakota, USA, Abu; a baseball cap, a pennant and a hot dog, Carpet; a dancing hula girl statue)
Genie: Whoo! She dances!
Aladdin: (takes off his sombrero) You saw the entire world already?
Genie: (sings as four "It's a Small World" figures) It's a small world after all! (speaking) But Agrabah has something that no other place in the world has. (as a red firework rocket with Aladdin and Jasmine riding on him and blasting away from Agrabah to the world) You guys! (breaks into song)
I parachuted down into the Taj Mahal
I rollerbladed all along the Grand, Big Wall
I even made the famous leaning tower fall
But who was with me through it all?
Nobody!
(as a bear-like fashion) The Moscow Circus hired me to fly trapeze
On Mount Olympus, won a race with Hercules
(in a toga chased by frustrated wasps) It's easy if you're chased by...murderous bees!
Who said "Gesundheit" till I sneezed?
AH-CHOO!!
(emerging from a taxi in New York City) Then now I'm home
Home again with you
(as the Sun) You chase the clouds away
Wherever I am blue
Aladdin: (speaking) You're always blue.
Genie: (as a sarcophagus, then a green-skinned mummy) Land of the pyramids
I highly recommend
(appears in front of the Pyramid of Giza with Aladdin and Jasmine's faces in the statues) There is nothing in the world
Quite like a friend
Slept like a babe in Bombay on a bed of nails
(appears in Aladdin's hands as a belly dancer) Moroccans loved my daring Dance of Seven Veils
(as a fisherman throwing a whale out of a fishbowl) Why, single-handedly, I even saved the whales
No one was there to hear my tales
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!
(as a pinata, then a mariachi musician with Aladdin and Jasmine) In Acapulco, joined a mariachi band
(as an old prospector riding a rubber raft into a trumpet Aladdin is playing) I rode the raging rapids down the Rio Grande
Flew in an air balloon, but since I tried to land
(as a pilot) Nobody laughed or lent a hand
(Everyone in the balloon suddenly falls out with Genie saluting all the road, then appearing in a safari outfit)
Without you, the Amazon is just a trickle
(as an Eskimo) Without you, the Sahara's not so hot
(as a faucet) Without you, Niagara Falls is just a leaky faucet
(as a British admiral) The Q.E.II is just some yacht
(Genie breaks a bottle over a yacht, but appears as it and sails toward a balcony in the palace with both teams aboard. In a second, he appears on deck as the yacht drops anchor)
Now that I'm home
Home again, it's clear
All I ever wanted
Seems to be right here
(grows two more heads) I've traveled
Left Genie head: (singing) East
Right Genie head: (singing) And west
All 3 heads: (singing) And now I'm back again
Genie: (lassos Aladdin and Jasmine while singing) And there's nothing in the world quite like a friend
Aladdin: (singing) There's nothing in the world
Jasmine: (singing) Nothing in the entire wide world
All: (singing) There is nothing in the world quite like a frieeeeend!
Genie: (spins a globe in his hand while singing) Nothing in the entire wide world!
Aladdin: Well, Genie, how does it feel to be free?
Genie: (dryly) Seriously? (emotionally) I love it!
(He stretches upward, but there is a loud crack as his back goes out)
Genie: Alright, perhaps my powers aren't what they used to be. Let's say they're semi-phenomenal, almost cosmic, (shrinking down to toy-size) but don't sell me short. I may be free, but I yet have some magic in me. (as a magician) I can yet do this! (makes a bouquet of flowers appear, but one attaches to his face and sucks it off; muffled) Hey! (retrieves his face and puts it back on) Hate to lose face in front of you guys. Give me another chance. (conjures up a box used to saw a person in half) Who's first? I can do this!
Aladdin: Um, Genie, we have to go to.....
Jasmine: (realizing) Dinner! We're late!
Genie: (disappointed) Oh, you all probably have a romantic dinner for two planned. You don't need a big blue lug gumming up the works.
Aladdin: But, Genie...
Genie: Three's a crowd. You guys go ahead.
Jasmine: Genie, I would be honored if you'd join us for dinner.
Genie: (happy) You would? C'mon, everyone! Get in here! Home cooking? Let's go!
Abu: Oh, boy!
Aladdin: Not you, Abu. You have a job to do, remember?
Abu: What?
Aladdin: You have to guard Iago.
Abu: (disappointed) Oh!
(Aladdin walks away, and Genie appears in front of him as a cowboy)
Genie: Giddy-up, slow-poke. What's keeping ya?
Aladdin: Nothing! Well, something but, I'll warn you later.
(Fade to the desert, the well where Iago threw Jafar's lamp, night. Abis Mal and his men are recuperating from their skirmish with Aladdin. Mal is pulling on a rope coming out of the well)
Abis Mal: That stinking Aladdin. First chance I get, I'll slice him in half.
(But contrary to Mal's words, his men are standing at the bottom of the sand dune, watching their soon-to-be former leader and growing tired of his incompetence and greed)
Thief #1: That stinking Abis Mal.
Thief #2: First chance we get, let's slice him in half.
Abis Mal: Hey, get over here and wash up! It's bad enough that we have to look at you without having to smell you.
Thief #2: Come, we do it now. No witnesses.
(Mal splashes some water from the well collected in a bucket over his head to wash up. However, that isn't all that comes out, as Jafar's lamp conks him on the head. He picks it up)
Abis Mal: Ow! What is this? Then help me, I'll sue whoever runs this well! A lamp? Well, well, it might be worth a few shackles once it's cleaned up.
(But as he rubs it, Mal's men raise their swords, eventually ready to finish off with their ex-leader)
Thief #2: It will be of little use to you, Abis Mal, except to light your road to the Valley of the Dead!
(But before Mal's men have a chance to respond, Jafar's lamp starts to spew red smoke, and in anticipation of a disaster or evil spirit, they mount their horses and run like the dickens)
Thief #2: It is bewitched!
(As the smoke starts to take shape, Jafar’s evil laughing fills the air, and he eventually appears in his genie form. Mal, however, looks up in confusion, somewhat hesitant, having never seen a genie before, let alone one like Jafar)
Jafar: I am free! Free to exact vengeance upon he who has imprisoned me! (But as he flies away, his golden cuffs glow and hold him in place, preventing him from going any further. As he turns around, he sees that his lamp is also glowing) It is the curse of the lamp. All the power in the universe, and I am bound by the rules of the genie! Which means I can't murder that upstart, Aladdin! (suddenly realizes Mal may be of some use to him after all) Unless...I have someone arrange it for me. Take me to Agrabah at once!
(Mal, yet afraid within an inch of his life, just flinches afar and gibbers like an idiot)
Jafar: I suppose I am a bit too much for his limited mind. (He transforms to a much less intimidating form, similar to his Royal Vizier outfit) I trust you'll find me a little less overwhelming now?
Abis Mal: (yet hesitant) You're...a genie?
Jafar: (sarcastically) You are astonishingly perceptive.
Abis Mal: Um...eh...uh...if you're a genie, then, eh...don't I get...wishes?
Jafar: Yes, three wishes. That is a minor formality. But, first, I must go to Agrabah. You will take the lamp there for me.
Abis Mal: Then, uh, you need us. We'll, uh...take you to Agrabah, but first...I want my wishes.
(This just infuriates Jafar, and he shoots laser beams at Mal, and he raises a hand against the terrified thief for his affrontery)
Jafar: Why, you... (realizes there may be a fashion to get Mal to help him) you shall have your wishes.
Abis Mal: I shall? I mean, of course I shall! (laughing gleefully) Oh, I want...I want riches, treasure! Let's see, I know, uh...I wish for the legendary sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer!
Jafar: Your wish is my command.
(Mal's wish for the sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer is granted, but not the fashion he expected, as he is actually teleported there and an octopus' tentacle grabs him, leaving him at the mercy of a shark. However, before it can make a meal of him, Jafar blocks the shark aside)
Jafar: (holding Abis Mal like a baby and pushing him) Poor sweet baby. Aren't we enjoying our wish?
(Mal just gurgles with water in his mouth, and afraid of the vicious sea creatures about to eviscerate him, clearly not enjoying the wish)
Jafar: Maybe you wish me to return you to the desert?
Abis Mal: (gurgling) Ye-ee-ee-es!
Jafar: Very well.
(He teleports Mal back into the desert, and he spits the water out of his mouth)
Jafar: That was two wishes. (to Abis Mal) Take your time with the third, or you will wish you had never been born! (Mal gulps hesitantly, the thought of being wished out of existence being even eerier than being eaten alive) On the other hand, if you cooperate with me, I will see that you are amply rewarded.
Abis Mal: Rewarded?
Jafar: First, you will help me get revenge on a certain street rat by the name of...Aladdin.
Abis Mal: (gasps at the mention of the street rat's name and remembers the skirmish in his hideout) Aladdin?! I want revenge on him, as well! He robbed me, turned my men against me and he fought dirty! My brilliant swordsmanship availed me naught! (cuts his pants down with his sword, exposing his underwear) I hate if I do that.
Jafar: (grabbing Mal by the shirt) Let's not be too hasty, my simple-minded friend! It's not enough that we simply destroy Aladdin. (drops him on the ground) After all, there are facts so much worse than death!
(Screen fades to and from black, revealing a dining room of the palace. Aladdin, Jasmine and the Sultan are seated around a table with Genie dressed as a chef about to serve dinner)
Genie: Alright, stuff yourselves for a real culinary treat.
(Genie starts chopping vegetables in midair, while he does so making karate sounds. The Sultan laughs with joy at the hilarious scene and Genie's chuckle-some antics)
Sultan: Oh-ho-ho-ho, my!
(Suddenly, there is a loud snick as Genie incidentally slices off his hand while chopping some spinach. Aladdin and Jasmine wince at this sight)
Genie: Whoopsie.
(Genie's hand, however, just gets up and performs a tap-dance routine)
Sultan: Most amusing!
Genie: Amusing, right. Excuse me while I pull myself together.
Sultan: (laughing) Absolutely delightful! Now, to business. Aladdin, you have proven to be a man of strong moral character. That is why I've decided to make you my new royal vizier!
Aladdin: Oh. Really?
Jasmine: Isn't this wonderful?
Genie: (appearing in a tuxedo and top hat) Wow! Royal vizier! (poofs Aladdin into one as well, and slicks back his hair) Aladdin would like to thank the Academy for this grand honor!
(As Genie shakes Aladdin's hand and gives him a trophy shaped like him, the latter's hair goes back to its original style)
Genie: (as a vendor waving shirts with Aladdin's face on them) You want them? You have them! Royal vizier T-shirts! (as a herald, poofing Aladdin back to his Prince Ali outfit with a scepter) All hail Aladdin, the royal vizier! Well, um...what's a royal vizier?
Sultan: Well...he will be my most trusted advisor.
Genie: (back to normal) Well, that makes sense. (scoffs) He's bound to be better than that (turns his head to Jafar's) Jafar character!
Sultan: Quite so!
Genie: And Iago. Speak about a rat with wings!
Aladdin: Uh, Genie?
Genie: Whoo! That bird was mean! (as Iago with a cracker) Sultan want a cracker? Sultan want a cracker? (back to normal) Remember that?
Sultan: I can yet taste them, the traitor!
Genie: Yes, sir! You don't see this guy hanging out with any evil parrots!
Aladdin: It's funny you should mention Iago.
(Cut to the palace garden, night. Iago is yet in his cage with Abu guarding him, clearly not enjoying a moment of this. Suddenly, the parrot gets an idea)
Iago: Oh, monkey! (making monkey noises) Come on, monkey. Little birdie want to speak to monkey, have nice banana. (makes more monkey noises) Birdie get monkey a pretty banana if monkey open cage. Yum, yum!
Abu: (skeptical) Yes, yes, yes.
Iago: (pleading) C'mon! I've had a wife and three eggs! Imagine them hatching, never knowing their daddy.
(As Iago begs for Abu to release him, the latter sees Rajah prowling the courtyard. Getting an idea of how to keep the bird in check, he grins)
Iago: (yet pleading) C'mon, open the cage! Open it! Open it! Open it! (Abu opens the door) Yes, that's more like it. Aah! (sees Rajah growling at him, and changes his mind) Close the cage! Close it! Close it! Close it!
(But it doesn't help, as Rajah lunges at the cage and breaks it on contact. Iago wriggles his road out, and flies into the palace for dear life)
Abu: Oops!
Iago: Your monkey's trying to murder me! I saved your life! It's payback time, Aladdin!
(Abu pulls on Rajah's tail to try and get him to stop, but the tiger is too strong for him)
Iago: (from outside) Woah! Aladdin!
(Rajah bursts into the room, unable to stop before he and Abu run smack into the table. Jasmine looks sternly at her pet)
Jasmine: Rajah! You know better than to tear around the palace like that!
(As she reprimands Rajah, his mouth opens to reveal Iago is inside. Aladdin, in an attempt to save face, holds it closed)
Iago: Help, hey!
Sultan: Well, Aladdin, why did you bring up that deceitful parrot?
Aladdin: (hesitantly) Uh, Sultan, I have to warn you something about Iago.
(As he's speaking, Iago, from inside Rajah's mouth, tickles his nose, causing him to sneeze the parrot out. Aladdin gulps, knowing he has been caught)
Aladdin: He's here.
Sultan: (Gasping upon realizing this) Iago! Guards!
(At that moment, Razoul dashes in to see what's going on)
Aladdin: No, wait! You don't understand!
Sultan: Get that bird!
Razoul: (grins happily at the sight of finishing off with Iago) Yes, your Highness. It would be my pleasure.
(Razoul raises his sword, and Iago flinches in fright. But Aladdin, yet determined to explain himself and the parrot's presence, stops him)
Aladdin: No, Sultan! No!
Razoul: Move out of my road, boy!
Aladdin: You don't understand! (snatches Razoul's sword) Just listen! I have a...
Razoul: Your Highness!
Sultan: (sternly) I trust he has a fitting explanation for this...this scandal?
Jasmine: (also sternly) He had better.
Aladdin: (stuttering) Your Highness, I...I think Iago was......uh...
Iago: (whispering) Mesmerized.
Aladdin: Yes, yes! He was under Jafar's spell. Remember the snake staff? (The Sultan and Jasmine just frown at him, obviously not buying the implausible story) Iago was only......uh...um...look, I just...Iago's not all that worst. Uh, at least, I don't think so anyhow.
Iago: Shoulda stuck with the snake staff defense.
Sultan: (shocked) Not all worse? He only served my biggest enemy, that's all!
Razoul: We can't allow that traitorous bird to run free!
Aladdin: Then I'll watch him! Uh...your Highness, I meant...uh...with your permission, I'd like to take complete responsibility for Iago.
Iago: (skeptical) You would?
Sultan: (unsure, to Aladdin) Your priorities seem questionable to me, but so be it. Aladdin, you will watch Iago every moment.
(The Sultan walks away, and Razoul frowns at Aladdin, yet not completely trusting of him, if at all before now)
Razoul: And if the bird makes one wrong move, you shall be the one I pluck, boy!
Genie: Eh, that could've gone worse.
Aladdin: Ugh, Jasmine, I thought I was sunk.
Iago: (fearful) Oh, not real! (flies away to avoid Jasmine)
Jasmine: You were hiding Iago all along, weren't you?!
Genie: I think it just got worse.
Aladdin: Well, yes, but...
Jasmine: How could you? More secrets? More lies? Aladdin, I thought you had changed.
Aladdin: Jasmine, please, wait! Eh, back in the marketplace, Iago...he... (Jasmine just runs off and closes the palace doors, unwilling to hear any more of his excuses) He saved my life. (picks up his turban and sighs defeatedly) Some grand vizier I'm gonna make. Everybody's mad at me.
Genie: Aw, Jasmine's just a little (turns his head into a Mrs. Potts-like fashion) steamed. She'll cool down. (as Johnny Mac) Care for a cup? (as himself) Uh, this isn't cheering you up, is it? (tries to give it to Abu, but the monkey, who clearly doesn't like tea, refuses)
Aladdin: I don't get it, Genie. I try to do something real and it...it-it blows up in my face!
(Aladdin walks away into the garden to contemplate the mess he has gotten himself in, thanks to Iago. He looks mournfully at his friend, and feels sorry for him)
Genie: (sighs) That's the problem with doing the right fact. Sometimes you do it by yourself.
Iago: (to himself) That boy saved my life. Nobody's ever looked out for me before. Now, it's like I owe him. Nah!
Genie: (as Jiminy Cricket) Just let your conscience be your guide.
Iago: Conscience? Never had one. Never.
(Iago tries to fly away, but Genie intercepts him as a jack-in-the-box, and frightening the bird out of his wits)
Genie: BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!!
Iago: Whew! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?
Genie: (as a doctor) Aha, I did so! (showing Iago’s x-ray) An itty-bitty one, but it is there. (Then Genie teleports Iago to the palace garden with sparkling magic)
Iago: Can you quit with the hocus pocus already?
Genie: Look at him. Would it murder you to do something nice for him?
Iago: (wiggling out of Genie's arms) Possibly. I don't do "nice".
Genie: Oh, c'mon! It’ll be fun! (makes a jack-in-the-box-like fashion with two yellow flags, red eyes with spirals, and spinning hair plus checkered teeth)
Iago: I don't do fun, either!
Genie: (clones himself) We have to get Al and the princess (merges back into one) back together!
Iago: Look, I certainly don't do mushy stuff! It's not me!
Genie: I know, but it's going to be tricky.
Iago: (delighted) Tricky is brief. Tricky I can do!
(Fade to Jasmine’s room. She is laying face-down on her bed, weeping after being let down by Aladdin. Just then, Iago comes to her balcony)
Iago: C'mon, Princess! Don't waste your tears on him.
Jasmine: You! Get out of here!
(She throws a bread roll at Iago, and Jasmine shuts her curtains on him, willing nothing to do with Jafar's former hench-bird, especially since he destroyed her faith in Aladdin, but the bird is existent)
Iago: Hey, don't take it out on me! He's the creep. I never should have saved his life.
Jasmine: Saved his life? (opening her curtains to Iago)
Iago: Yes. He owed me one. That's why he stood up for me.
Jasmine: But he didn't have to lie to me.
Iago: You are so right.
(At this moment, Iago starts his reverse-psychology ploy, prompting the song Forget About Love to begin)
Iago: (sings) Forget about that guy
Forget about the way you fell into his eyes (stares into Jasmine's eyes until he falls off her couch)
Forget about his charms (shows Jasmine a picture of Aladdin, and she pushes it down)
Forget about the fashion he held you in his arms
Walking on air's obnoxious (Jasmine tries to hit him with her pillow)
The thrills, the chills
Will make you nauseous
And you'll never get enough
Just forget about love
(Jasmine hits him with a pillow, speaking to Genie) She's buying it! Now make with the magic!
(Jasmine looks wistfully at Aladdin's picture, wondering if she shall break up with him. Suddenly, Genie comes in and knocks a vase over, but she catches it)
Forget about romance
Forget about the fashion your heart begins to dance
(As Jasmine takes a whiff of the flower, an image of Aladdin appears in her mirror)
Aladdin: Jasmine.
(Jasmine whips around, and starts to realize she may have been too hard on Aladdin. Just then, Iago snatches the flower as she chases him to her balcony while seeing a mournful-looking Aladdin)
Iago: (singing) Then you feel the blush
If he's spouting out some sentimental mush
(on Jasmine's shoulder) Love really is revolting
It's even worse than since you're molting (starts tearing out his feathers)
Enough of this fluff
Just forget about love
Jasmine: (singing) I had almost forgotten the fashion it felt
If he held out his hand for mine
My heart's all a-flutter
Iago: (singing) Oh, how I shudder
Jasmine: (singing) The first time we kissed
Iago: (singing) It won't be missed
Forget about his touch
Jasmine: (running back towards her room while singing) I can't forget about his touch
Iago: (singing) In the scheme of facts, it doesn't matter much
Jasmine: (singing) It matters so much
Iago: (singing) You're better on your own
A meal becomes a banquet till you eat alone
(Jasmine runs down some stairs and stops in front of a mirror to fix her hair while humming. Suddenly, she grabs Iago and spins him around. Then she runs out into the garden with Iago following close behind)
Both: (singing) Love's filled with compromises
Iago: (singing) And don't you hate these big surprises?
(Jasmine suddenly finds herself on Carpet, and Genie throws some firefly-like fashions toward her, which collect on her headpiece)
Jasmine: (singing) A cozy rendezvous
Iago: (singing) Oh, please
Jasmine: (singing) Candlelight for two
Iago: (singing) Oh, jeez
Jasmine: (singing) Look, you're calling her bluff
She can't forget about love
Iago: (overlapping) Just forget about love
(The lights fly away from Jasmine and toward Aladdin. He looks up and sees Jasmine running towards him)
Aladdin: Uh, Jasmine, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept Iago a secret. Please, I have to save him!
Jasmine: (singing) I can't forget about my heart
Aladdin: (singing) I can't forget about my heart
Jasmine: (singing) And how it felt to fall for you right from the start
Aladdin: (singing) I'm yet falling
Jasmine: (splashes him while singing) Whatever we may do
Aladdin: (singing) Whatever we may do
Jasmine: (singing) You are here for me and I'll be there for you
Aladdin: (picks her up while singing) I'll be there
Both: (singing) To wish, to want, to wander
To find the sun through rain and thunder
(As they sing, Genie drifts over to the fountain with an annoyed Iago getting wet with the spouting water)
Aladdin: (singing) A cozy rendezvous
Jasmine: (singing) Yes, please
Aladdin: (singing) Candlelight for two
Iago: (interrupting and attempting to get out of Genie's arms while singing) Oh, jeez!
Enough is enough
Both: (singing) We can't forget about love!
(Meanwhile, Abis Mal climbs to the top of the palace wall. He pulls out a rope and begins to climb down. But just as he's a foot afar from the ground, the rope breaks, and he falls to the ground)
Abis Mal: (rubs Jafar's lamp) We did it! We're in!
Jafar: (emerging) It's about time. It was getting hot. How very like Iago. He's lost no time endearing himself to these in power. Which fits in perfectly with my plan!
(Meanwhile, Aladdin is yet trying to apologize to Jasmine for his blunder, although she has obviously forgiven him)
Aladdin: I'm sorry, Jasmine.
(Aladdin and Jasmine suddenly look behind them to see Genie staring at them)
Genie: Ah, love! Don't mind us.
Aladdin: Yes, well, this is kind of a special moment.
Genie: Right. I have it! Say no more. Enough said! Roger. Over and out!
(Suddenly, Genie appears and clones himself several times, but they become a film crew)
Genie #1: (cameraman) Rolling!
Genie #2: (marker-board guy) Marker!
Genie #3: (director) Action!
Genie #4: (the real one) Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. Looking grand, Jas. More emotion, Al. Tilt your chin a bit. (sees everyone looking at him and his clones)
Iago: (flying in front of the camera) What does he have to do to make it clear to you lunkheads?! The show's over! They want to be alone! Break it up! (pushing everyone else)
Jasmine: Are you sure about him?
Iago: Move it, primate! Shoo! Go ahead!
(Abu tries to hit Iago, but he tries to bite Abu like a leopard to chase him off)
Iago: That takes care of the peanut gallery. If you need me, I'll be lazing about in the lap of luxury.
Aladdin: I wish about this.
(Aladdin shares a kiss with Jasmine. Fade to the palace interior, day. Iago is lounging on a pile of pillows with several bunches of grapes all around him. He is enjoying living in the palace surrounded by such nice vittles)
Iago: Ohh, yes! Being one of the best guys has its advantages. Ah, advisor to Aladdin, the new grand vizier. And if Aladdin becomes Sultan, that will make me the grand vizier. (jumps down and snatches some grapes from a bowl) Only I'm not gonna blow it like that idiot Jafar! (puts them in his mouth) I'll never have to stand in his shadow again.
(Suddenly, the lights go out, and a spotlight shines on Iago)
Iago: (mouth complete) Who the...? (turns around and spits out the grapes in his mouth until he sees who's standing behind him) Jafar! Buddy?
(Jafar shoots two fireballs from his eyes, lighting some candles behind him)
Iago: (laughs hesitantly and backs off from Jafar) Well, uh, a funny fact happened. You see, this guy took the lamp. You probably thought it was me, because it sounded a lot like me, but a lot of people sound like me. Any matter, he took the lamp and..... (sees Jafar's face in a column and shrieks in fear)
Jafar: Calm yourself, Iago. We haven't come for revenge against you.
Iago: (laughs) Then that's nice to hear.
Abis Mal: I got it! I could wish for the famed treasure chest of King Malakhan!
(Jafar waves a finger, and Mal is suddenly crammed into a golden treasure chest. As he puts Iago down, Mal yells in panic, trying to get out. Then Jafar motions again, and the chest is poofed off. Mal briefly comes out in its shape before returning to normal and shivering heavily)
Jafar: Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. I thought that was your wish. Are you quite alright?
Abis Mal: No, I am not quite....
Jafar: (interrupting) Wonderful. Nice to see all is well. (to Iago) Abis Mal here is my new friend, and I couldn't help noticing that you've made some new friends, as well. Like, Aladdin.
(Jafar pokes Iago’s beak and turns into a Cheshire Cat-like fashion with red eyes and vanishes, leaving Iago somewhat intimidated)
Iago: Friend? Uh, friend is such a strong word. He's, eh, he’s more like an acquaintance.
Jafar: (appearing again into a human form from the flames of the candles) I'm arranging a little surprise for Aladdin and your job is to lead him to the festival.
Iago: You know, (shivers) I don't think I'm the guy for this job. You know, you should speak to....uh...uh...the monkey! Yes! The monkey's really had Aladdin's ear!
Jafar: No, Iago...you!
(Jafar points a finger on Iago's beak to show his decision is final. Screen fades to and from black, revealing the palace hall. Iago is pacing back and forth, wondering what to do. He doesn't want to have anything to do with Jafar and end up betraying Aladdin after he stood up for him, but doesn't want to end up as the blue plate special either)
Iago: You know, Aladdin, ahem, Al, here's an idea. I was just thinking.....
(Iago turns to see that, in a room near him, Genie, along with Carpet and Abu are playing a game of pool. Everyone is getting bored waiting for him to shoot)
Genie: Focus...focus. (says this six more times) Aiming, and...shoot!
(Genie shoots so hard, his cue scratches the table, and the ball flies away. Abu screeches in fright. They both duck, and Iago, who has just flown into the room looking for Aladdin, gets the cue ball lodged in his beak. The force knocks him toward the wall, but Carpet catches him and takes him to Genie)
Genie: Oh, ho. I'm sorry, little feathered friend. I'll get that out.
Abu: Uh-uh! Ha!
(Genie pulls on the ball to get it out of Iago's mouth, but it won't come out)
Genie: Oh, it's stuck real. (as a doctor) Cue-ball ectomy! Nurse!
(Genie turns Abu into a nurse with fake eyelashes. The monkey throws his nurse hat on the table, refusing to help the parrot he believes is yet evil)
Genie: Abu! (Abu tries to take out his eyelashes) Iago is our friend now. We can trust him. Now, let's get that ball out of his beak. What do you say?
Abu: (thinking) Well...alright.
(Abu pounds Iago's stomach, forcing the cue ball stuck in his mouth out, and it bounces onto the table)
Genie: Brilliant, Miss Heimlich!
Iago: (coughing and gasping for breath) Thanks...Bobo.
Genie: It's Abu.
Iago: Whatever.
Genie: That's the ticket! We're all one big family now! (gives Abu and Iago a group hug)
Iago: Yes, sure. Family.
Abu: Oh, boy.
Iago: Yes, well, I must find Al.
(Iago flies away to find Aladdin, leaving the boys to continue their game)
Genie: (to Carpet) Your shot. Pool's a man's game, so being a rug, you'll be at a disadvan...
(As Genie's speaking, Carpet somehow shoots all the balls into the pockets in one shot)
Genie: Aw, pool's a dumb game anyhow.
(Iago goes over to Jasmine's room, where Aladdin is speaking to her)
Aladdin: I can't explain it, Jasmine. I think we can trust Iago.
Jasmine: Well...then I guess I can give him a chance.
Aladdin: (sees Iago sneaking around) Iago?
(Iago, seeing that he has been spotted, stops and turns around to speak to Aladdin)
Iago: Eh...I...I was just thinking.....um...perhaps it's time you patched facts up with the Sultan. He might enjoy...a nice scenic carpet ride?
Jasmine: That's a nice idea.
Aladdin: And I'll bring Genie. He was a big hit with the Sultan.
Iago: (frantic) No, no, no! (composing himself) I mean, uh...Genie's...he's too flashy! He's too loud! You'll never get a word in.
Jasmine: Nice point, Iago. You need some silent time with Father. Let him get to know you.
Iago: Yes! And I...I can take you to the perfect spot.
Aladdin: Sure!
Jasmine: C'mon, let's get Father. Just a moment. (to Iago) Iago? This isn't easy for me to say, but I was wrong about you.
(She kisses Iago on top of his head. Suddenly, he remembers Jafar's plan)
Iago: (growls concernedly) Wait a second!
Aladdin: Yes, Iago?
(Iago looks up to see Jafar’s evil eyes looking at him. He clearly threatens to finish off with Iago if he tries to warn him about the revenge plan)
Iago: Uh...I'll be along in a moment.
(Jasmine, however, is skeptical, and peers inside. Unfortunately, she can find nothing out of the ordinary, and goes away with Aladdin to find the Sultan. At that moment, Jafar comes out from wherever he is hiding)
Jafar: (putting his hands on Iago) Excellent.
(Screen fades to and from black, revealing the palace garden, afternoon. Jasmine is escorting the Sultan to Carpet, who has Aladdin there, as Iago has arranged a meeting in an undisclosed location for Aladdin to mend his damaged relationship with him)
Jasmine: Give them a chance, Father.
Sultan: Oh, I'll try, darling.
Aladdin: After you, Your Highness.
(Aladdin stretches out his arms and motions for the Sultan to get on Carpet, him and Iago grinning widely. The Sultan, who is yet untrusting of the parrot, gets on and folds his arms. Then Carpet does a loop-de-loop, and his face brightens. Sultan gets on Carpet, and Aladdin comes after)
Aladdin: Alright, Carpet, let's go!
Sultan: Whoopee!
(Carpet flies away and heads for parts unknown while Jasmine waves them a farewell)
Jasmine: Have a best time!
Genie: (off-screen) Hey, hey! Clear the road!
(At that moment, Genie comes running down the path to where Jasmine stands. Genie is dressed in a sports jersey, Bermuda shorts, and a straw hat carrying a blanket, a volleyball, an umbrella and a picnic basket, from which Abu comes out)
Genie: Make room for the picnic boys!
Jasmine: They already left, Genie.
Genie: (gasps at the mention of being without Aladdin) Without us?!
Abu: Without us?
Genie: No problem. I'll catch up in a flash!
(Genie tries to fly away, but Jasmine stops him)
Jasmine: Wait! Without me, as well. Aladdin needs some time alone with Father to patch facts up.
Genie: You know what this means, monkey boy? (emotionally) More food for us!
Abu: Oh, boy!
(Genie throws the picnic basket on the ground, and in an instant, some food appears, which is as follows; a roast chicken, some bread, corn on the cob, a fruit bowl, some grape Kool-Aid, and apple pie. The boys sit down and eat voraciously, stopping only as Jasmine looks disgustedly at their horrible manners. Meanwhile, Jasmine yet stares at Genie and Abu)
Genie: (stops eating) I'm sorry. Did you want some?
Jasmine: I'm...not hungry just now. You two go ahead!
(Jasmine walks off, and leaves the boy to eat their food again. Fade to the desert. Sultan and Aladdin are flying Carpet, along with Iago)
Sultan: C'mon, my boy! Show me what this fact can really do!
(Aladdin pulls on Carpet's front tassels, and he dives toward a river at the bottom of a dee p canyon. Then he skims along the water, narrowly avoids a hippo's mouth, and flies over some rapids leading to a waterfall. Suddenly, Iago spots something)
Iago: That's the spot! On top of the waterfall!
(Aladdin goes into another power dive. Iago holds on as tightly as possible as he flies back up the waterfall)
Iago: I'm losing my feathers here!
Sultan: You're lucky you haven't lost more than that!
(Eventually, Carpet makes a hard stop, bucking Aladdin away. The Sultan, however, has landed on the same tree trunk and is laughing gleefully)
Sultan: Oh, what fun!
(Aladdin helps the Sultan up, and Iago is revealed to have been underneath him. The parrot moans in pain)
Aladdin: Iago, I have to hand it to you. This is a nice place!
(Cut to the palace courtyard. Genie and Abu are yet lounging about with their picnic)
Genie: It doesn't get any better than this, right, Shaggy? (hands Abu some fried chicken legs) How about a nice drumstick? This could use some secret herbs and spices.
(But the moment Abu bites into his drumstick, a spider crawls up on it. The monkey, disgusted at having almost devoured a bug, spits it out. Suddenly, he screeches in alarm as thousands more of its kind suddenly swarm the courtyard)
Genie: Spiders! (as Dale Gribble) Facts could get ugly!
(He sprays the spiders, but the smoke just makes them all coalesce into a familiar shape; a seven-foot-tall Jafar)
Genie: Jafar!
Abu: Oops!
Jafar: I'm sorry to spoil your picnic, boys. But I can't have any genie mucking about ruining my plans!
Genie: Don't worry, Abu. He's a genie and genies can't murder anyone!
(At that moment, Jafar turns both of his hands into dragon heads that breathe fire all over him)
Genie: (wheezing voice) But you'd be surprised what you can live through.
Jafar: (chuckling) You always were nice for a laugh.
Genie: Oh, yes?!
(Genie, sporting a muscular physique, an ammo belt and bandana, shoots a lightning bolt from a bow, then three more from his hands. He turns his hands into machine guns and shoots Jafar next. All of the combined attacks kick up a cloud of dust, and as it clears, Jafar is seemingly defeated. Genie gasps for breath)
Genie: (chuckles triumphantly as a superhero, but turns back into himself) Who's laughing now?
(Genie is astonished to hear Jafar's evil laughter as he reforms, somehow unscathed from his attacks)
Jafar: Why, I believe it's me.
(Genie stands there in confusion as to how he managed to survive all their combined attacks, and Abu screeches in fright. Jafar begins his boast in the form of the song "You're Only Second Rate")
Jafar: (sings) I must admit
Your parlor tricks are amusing
(He turns Genie into a stage magician with a top hat stuck on his head. As the latter tries to pull it away, Jafar removes it, revealing a giant rabbit that squishes Genie at last)
I bet you've found a bunny under your hat
(Jafar conjures up some playing cards, with Genie and Abu having been turned into two of them. Then he splurges the cards of his hand, and the two turn back into themselves. Then Genie tries to hit Jafar with a lightning bolt, but he bounces right away. Then the evil genie turns him old)
Now, here's your chance to get the best of me
Hope your hand is hot
C'mon, clown, let's see what you've had
You can try to hit me with your hardest stuff
But your double whammy isn't up to snuff
I'll set the record straight
You're simply out of date, you're only second rate
(Then Genie turns into a tiger and attacks Jafar. The latter just turns into a lion tamer, and as he jumps through the hoop, he is turned into a cat respectively. He lands on a stool with a blackboard behind them saying "2+2=5". Jafar reappears wearing a mortarboard cap, and then slips a dunce cap over them)
You think your cat's a meanie
But your tiger's tame
You have a lot to learn about the genie game
Then for your education, I'll reiterate
You're only second rate
(Jafar lifts the dunce cap, revealing the now tiny Genie and Abu. They fall from the stool and onto the palm of Jafar's giant hand. Each of the fingers has his face, and the pinky frowns at them. They back up, only to run into the thumb, which has the face of Jafar's genie form)
Men cower at the power in my pinky
My thumb is number one on every list
(Then Jafar reappears in his genie form and rakes the ground with his hands. The two fall into the holes, which seal themselves up and appear next to a dead tree with a somber-looking expression on its trunk. This does not stop the genie, however, where he conjures up a chain which ties itself around Jafar. Next, he is shoved into a wicker basket, which is subsequently skewered with swords. Abu winces at this sight. Unfortunately, a giant cake bursts from the basket, and Jafar emerges from the topmost layer while the candles emit showers of sparks)
But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible
Put me to the test
I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest
Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise
Slap me in a trap, cut me down to size
I'll make a grand escape, it's just a piece of cake
You're only second rate
(The two run away, but is stopped by a tiki statue that looks like Jafar's head. Then they fall through a trapdoor and onto a procession of platforms sloping upward towards a throne, upon which Jafar is seated, holding his snake staff. As each platform reaches him, it disappears in a blaze of fire, and the two jump away from each, trying not to get burnt themselves, but end up toppling down as Jafar zaps them with another bolt from his staff)
You know, your hocus-pocus isn't rough enough
And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up
Let me pontificate upon your disgraceful state
You're only second rate
(The two run away, but is stopped by a wall with Jafar's face on it)
Zaba-caba-dabra
(They run in the separate direction towards what appears to be an old lady in a rocking chair, but the old crone turns out to be Jafar himself)
Granny's gonna grab ya!
(The two keep on running, with Jafar growing bigger and bigger before zapping them again with more lightning. Then they run past five more Jafars before a pair of his hands pulls down Genie's pants. With another poof, he is taken apart and reassembled inside a wooden crate. He eventually reappears on a plate spinning on a stick. Jafar spins it faster and faster)
Alakazam-na-bus
This thing's bigger than the both of us
So spare me your tremendous fright
You look horrendous in your underwear
And I can hardly wait to discombobulate
I'll send ya back and packing in a shipping crate
You'll make a better living with a spinning plate
You're only second rate!
(As the song ends, the scene cuts to Jafar's lair. Genie appears in a crystal ball. Genie gives a frightened shudder as Jafar seals it shut with a wooden spider, and sets it down on a table. Abu gets up on the table, and knocks on the ball worriedly)
Abu: Hello? Hello?
(But before he can muster, Jafar catches him and Abu, and pins him to the wall)
Jafar: Ah, that was invigorating! Come, Abis Mal, we have other lives to ruin.
(Cut to the oasis ruins. The Sultan goes to the waterside, and Aladdin looks at him. Jasmine is easy to gain forgiveness from, but he isn't so sure about her father. Aladdin goes over to the Sultan, who is throwing stones into the water)
Aladdin: Sultan. Look, I'm sorry for not warning you about Iago.
Sultan: Huh!
Aladdin: I guess I saw best in him. (picks up a stone) Just like you saw some brief in a street rat.
(Aladdin throws his stone, and it skips along the water. The Sultan's eyes widen at his statement, and he thinks for a second)
Sultan: The best I saw in a... (realizes Aladdin's right) Well...oh, yes, I...I suppose so. (his eyes brighten, having eventually regained his trust in his future son-in-law) Well said, my boy! Oh, you'll be a fine vizier!
(Then Aladdin goes over to Iago, who is looking glum, knowing that he reluctantly plays a part in what's to come)
Aladdin: This was a grand idea, Iago. Thanks.
Iago: Oh, don't thank me. Really.
(But before the parrot has a chance to warn her about Jafar, some shadowy men from chapter 2 burst in, riding on black horses. The Sultan, who has picked a bouquet of flowers, sees the silhouetted men, and runs for dear life as they pursue him)
Aladdin: Sultan!
(Carpet flies in front of them, and tries to stop them, but only ends up getting trampled. One of the horses stops, and the rider is revealed to be...)
Aladdin: Abis Mal?!
(The confusion manages to kick up a grand cloud of dust, and in it all, one of the shadowy men seizes the Sultan and lifts him off)
Sultan: Aladdin! Stop!
(Aladdin just kneels on the ground, coughing from the dust. Upon seeing Iago, he grabs him by the tail feathers as he tries to fly off)
Aladdin: You traitor!
Iago: Traitor is such a strong word.
Sultan: Aladdin, help!
(Carpet gets up, unharmed by the trampling, and flies over to Aladdin)
Aladdin: I'll settle with you later. C'mon, Carpet!
(They fly after the silhouetted men and see that they're heading for the edge of a cliff face)
Aladdin: Look, they're trapped on the cliff wall! If they stop, we'll...what?
(The shadowy men's horses fly over the edge of the waterfall, and sprout wings just as they are about to hit the bottom. Aladdin is nonplussed)
Aladdin: Abis Mal knows magic?
Sultan: Woah-ah-ah!
(The Sultan looks down, and sees that they are high above the canyon, which is a very long road down. Carpet zooms at complete speed toward the silhouetted men, and Aladdin successfully grabs the Sultan)
Abis Mal: What? Get him! Get the sultan!
Aladdin: Hang on, Sultan! This is where we lose them.
(Carpet flies into the shadowy men, confusing them with his speed and flying back towards the waterfall. One of them waves its sword, and summons a whirlpool that hits Carpet. The Sultan falls over into the watery vortex)
Aladdin: Sultan! We have to go back, Carpet!
(Carpet flies away after the whirlpool, and Aladdin reaches into it to grab the Sultan. Unfortunately, he ends up getting sucked in and spewed out into the rapids. Aladdin is swept downstream, but manages to cling to a large rock. Abis Mal, however, laughs and kicks him away, sending him over the waterfall)
Abis Mal: Yes! (one of the silhouetted men motions toward the waterfall) What? (just as he is about to hit the sharp rocks at the bottom, he is saved and sends the unconscious street rat into a slower-moving stream) What are you doing here?!
(The shadowy men and Mal fly away to the banks of the river. The thief dismounts his horse just as all the silhoutted men merge into Jafar)
Abis Mal: Are you nuts?! You saved him! He was this close to being a greasy little smear on the rocks!
Jafar: (frustratedly grabs Mal by the shirt) Look, you little... (calms down) I mean, my darling Abis Mal. (puts him down) If you remember the plan, it is not yet time for the boy to meet his end.
Abis Mal: Um...I knew that.
Jafar: Soon, our revenge will be finished, and you shall have your third wish.
Abis Mal: (emotionally) Ooh, boy, oh, my little wishy!
Jafar: And you, Iago! You have done well.
Iago: (disgraceful) Please, don't mention it.
(Fade to the stream. Aladdin awakens on the shore, coughing and gasping for air)
Aladdin: Sultan! (shivering) Iago.
(Aladdin gets up and makes his road to Agrabah to confront the traitorous parrot. Cut to Jafar’s lair. The Sultan, along with Jasmine, are chained to the wall, having been captured off-screen)
Sultan: Jafar, you fiend! I should have known that this was your treachery!
Jafar: But I couldn't have done it without Iago.
Iago: Eh, I...I played a minor role, really.
Abis Mal: (straining with Carpet, who is wiggling fiercely) Jafar! This rug won't cooperate!
(Carpet breaks free of Mal's grip and tries to fly away through a window, but Jafar stops him by conjuring up a ball and chain too heavy for him to fly with)
Sultan: Ooh, if Aladdin returns!
Jafar: I think we have ample time to get ready for his arrival.
(Jafar takes the Sultan's turban, and conjuring up a dagger, slices it in two)
Abis Mal: Hey! That was a nice hat. I could have worn that hat!
Jafar: We need this for our plan.
Abis Mal: Couldn't we use another hat for the plan?
Jafar: No. The sultan's turban and this dagger are exactly what we need... (pointing his dagger towards Mal’s head) to seal Aladdin's doom.
(Screen fades to and cuts from black, revealing the palace, front gates. Aladdin has eventually made it there after a long walk in the desert. There, standing at the front door with a frustrated look on his face, is Razoul)
Aladdin: Razoul, the Sultan's been....
(But before he can finish, Razoul orders the guards to capture him)
Razoul: Seize him! You are under arrest for the murder of the Sultan!
Aladdin: What?! No!
(Fade to the palace, dungeon, night. Aladdin is in chains, trying to explain what really happened)
Razoul: And then you went over the waterfall, right? Ha! How did you survive?
Aladdin: I...I don't know.
Razoul: How very convenient.
Aladdin: It's the truth! Why won't you believe me?
Jasmine's Voice: Because we know he's lying!
(Aladdin looks up, and sees what appears to be Jasmine standing at the top of the dungeon stairs holding the Sultan's torn turban and wearing an accusing look on her face. This is really Jafar as Jasmine, where he will be referred to as "Jasmine")
Aladdin: What?
"Jasmine": I found this in your room. My father's turban.....slashed!
Aladdin: You can't think---
"Jasmine": (interrupting) I thought you loved me, but now I see that all you wanted to do was rule Agrabah!
Aladdin: I never wanted-----
"Jasmine": He shall die at dawn for the murder of my father!
("Jasmine" leaves the room, leaving Aladdin with Razoul)
Aladdin: Jasmine, please!
Razoul: You're in my hands now, street rat!
(Cut to Jafar's lair. The evil ex-vizier makes his road back just as Mal has the real Jasmine chained to the wall with the others. Then he changes back into himself)
Jafar: (laughing evilly) You should have seen the look on Aladdin's face since Princess Jasmine sentenced him to death.
Jasmine: (despairingly) No!
Abis Mal: Oh, yes! And then I get my wish.
Jafar: (annoyed) Yes, and then you get your wish.
Jasmine: (frustratedly, to Iago, who is hiding behind a beaker) Iago! I swear one day you will pay for this!
Iago: I really think you're making too big a deal out of this.
Jafar: Such spirit.
(Jasmine ties to bite Jafar's hand like a jaguar)
Jafar: Maybe after a few days in chains, you'll be more kindly disposed toward me, (putting his snake staff closely to her) especially if you want your father to remain healthy! (to Iago) Ah, Iago, you betrayed me and allied yourself with my enemies. Then you turned on them as soon as it was in your best interests. That's what I love about you. You're so perfectly predictable. A villain through and through!
Iago: Thank you. Thank you all. Whew!
(Screen fades to and from black, revealing the palace dungeon, daybreak. Aladdin has spent a miserable night. He is sitting on the floor in despair, thinking his fiance has sentenced him to death for supposedly assassinating her father. Suddenly, a rooster's crow is heard. But before he can figure out what's wrong, Razoul bursts in and sniffs the air deeply)
Razoul: Ah, dawn!
(Razoul, flanked by two other guards, escort Aladdin up some stairs. Cut to Jafar's lair. He transforms back into "Jasmine" and starts toward the door)
"Jasmine": (to the real Jasmine) I'll warn your boyfriend farewell for you, Princess.
Sultan: (straining) If I get hold of you, Jafar...
(Abu screeches frustratedly at Jafar)
"Jasmine": (sarcastically, in Jafar's voice) I'm soooooo concerned.
(He leaves the room, with the third to see Aladdin's final moments. Iago just sighs, relieved that his former master has eventually left. Meanwhile, Razoul leads Aladdin further up the tower stairs. Cut back to Jafar's lair. With the evil ex-vizier gone, Iago lets out a loud, anguished shriek and proceeds to rescue the only one who can help Genie. Jasmine, however, wastes no time interrogating the not-so-reformed parrot)
Jasmine: (frustratedly) How could you double-cross Aladdin after all he's done for you?!
(Abu chatters frustratedly at him)
Iago: Hey, do I insult *your* mother?
(Abu, shocked that Iago will speak about his mother like that, just scoffs. Then the parrot pecks on the crystal ball, but only ends up bending the tip. He straightens it and pecks harder, but this does not work either. The two prisoners recoil at the sound)
Jasmine: (sighs) What are you doing now?
Iago: (hitting the crystal ball with a wooden plank) Oh, what does it look like I'm thinking? I'm trying to free the chump genie where he can save your chump boyfriend!
(The plank breaks in two and conks Iago on the head. He squawks in frustration. Cut to the tower. Razoul and his prisoners eventually get to the top. In front of them is a forge, and a blacksmith is tempering something. Razoul motions for him to stop, and the blacksmith sharpens a sword on a grindstone. He checks the sword while Razoul puts on an executioner's hood, grinning triumphantly at the street rat he is so eager to eventually be rid of. The blacksmith hands him the sword and he slices through a wooden beam. It splits in two, and falls to the floor. Aladdin looks on in shock as he is led to a pavilion of sorts high above the streets of the city. Meanwhile, in Jafar's lair, Iago removes the crystal ball from its stand, and straining under its weight, throws it to the floor. Unfortunately, it only bounces along and does not break)
Jasmine: You have to lift it higher!
Iago: (gasping for breath) Sure. No problem.
(Cut to the executioner's pavilion, sunrise. The guards push Aladdin into the blade-less guillotine while two more show up to restrain him. Razoul raises his sword and gets ready to behead him and "Jasmine" approaches)
"Jasmine": Wait!
Aladdin: Jasmine! I knew you wouldn't go through with this.
"Jasmine": I just wanted to say farewell... (briefly reveals his face to him) ...street rat!
(Aladdin's eyes widen in surprise)
Aladdin: Jafar! It's Jafar---
(But Aladdin does not get a chance to conclude his sentence before one of the guards drapes a head mask over him. In Jafar's lair, Iago is lifting the crystal ball higher and higher, staggering once again under the immense weight. Meanwhile, Aladdin is attempting to get out of the grip of his respective captors. "Jasmine" starts to leave. Eventually, Iago releases the ball, and it smashes on the floor. Razoul raises his sword, and gets ready to finish off with Aladdin. Luckily, just before Razoul's sword hits the street rat, he is stuffed up by Genie. Aladdin removes the head mask)
Aladdin: Thanks for saving me.
Genie: Oh, c'mon, Al, you know I had to. Oh, that no-head look is just not you. For my next trick, (magically poofs everyone out of their bonds to the top of one of the palace's towers) bibbidi...bobbidi...boo! Oh-ho, and everybody's safe and sound.
Jasmine: Aladdin!
Abu: Aladdin!
Aladdin: Nice to see you, as well, Abu.
Jasmine: (to Aladdin) There's somebody else who wants to speak to you.
Iago: (comes out from Jasmine's pant leg) Hello.
Aladdin: You set me up! How could you show your face? You're nothing but a-----
(As Aladdin's berating him, Iago hides behind Jasmine's pant leg in fear)
Jasmine: (interrupting) Aladdin, Iago rescued us. He didn't have to, but he did so.
Aladdin: (surprised) Rescued? Him?
Iago: Please note: "Did not have to, but did." (yelling) NOW WE SHOULD BE FLEEING FOR OUR LIVES, IF YOU DON'T MIND!!
Aladdin: (determined) No! We have to stop Jafar.
(Iago, who is flying away, stops short at Aladdin's statement and flies back. Everyone else, however is unsure as to how to get rid of Jafar for real)
Jasmine: But how? He's so powerful!
Genie: His lamp! You destroy Jafar's lamp, you destroy Jafar.
Aladdin: Then that's what we'll do.
Iago: Reality check. Jafar is large and in charge!
Sultan: Oh, yes. There's no warning what Jafar will do to Agrabah. We have a responsibility!
Iago: Perhaps you do, but I don't! I'm only responsible for me, myself, and nobody!
(Aladdin, Jasmine and the Sultan get on Carpet)
Aladdin: I understand, Iago. You've done enough. And thanks!
Iago: Hey, I did my best deed! I don't owe you a fact! You hear me?! Not a fact.
(Iago flies away, unwilling to deal with anyone else. Cut to the palace, throne room. Jafar and Abis Mal are celebrating their so-called victory)
Jafar: Now that my revenge is done that is one little matter left to resolve.
Abis Mal: Yes! The wish!
Jafar: Indeed not. And he will now wish me free of this wretched lamp!
Abis Mal: (snatches Jafar's lamp afar from him) No! My wish! You have what you wanted, now it's my turn!
Jafar: But you don't need to waste your third wish. You want the sunken treasure of Coeur du Mer? It's yours!
(Jafar conjures up the sunken ship from earlier. The moment it hits the floor, gold coins spill out, and Mal, chortling like a little schoolgirl, runs over to it. Meanwhile, Genie, disguised as a wooden version of Ariel stretches his arm towards Mal and tries to grab the lamp, but misses)
Abis Mal: Yes, yes, yes! Yes! I love it! I love it! Silver! Lots and lots of it! Oh, I'm so emotional!
(Genie poofs back to the others, who are hiding behind one of the columns. He shrugs his shoulders)
Abis Mal: Then this means I could have more stuff? (Jafar conjures up a table with an enormous ruby on it) I always wanted one of these! (Mal puts Jafar's lamp on the throne, and he runs over to it) Nice! More! More!
(Jafar dejectedly conjures up more treasure, and Mal gets more and more emotional. Genie stretches his hand dodging the treasure as it appears and is almost at Jafar's lamp, but his hand is ultimately smashed by a golden eagle statue. He tries to shriek, but he holds it in. Meanwhile, Jasmine and the Sultan try to sneak in)
Sultan: Oh, dear!
(They immediately double back, evading another treasure chest as it falls towards them)
Jafar: Now, if it's obscenely excessive enough, maybe you'd care to grant my freedom.
Abis Mal: Wait, what? Oh, yeah, right. Wish he was free. Sure fact, yes. (Mal goes to where he put Jafar's lamp, not noticing Abu trying to grab it) I wish for Jafar to be... (The four silently gasp, anticipating their impending doom, but he quickly reconsiders) Wait. How do I know that these facts won't disappear once I set him free?
Jafar: (intimidatingly) The more pressing question is, how will you stay alive if you don't?!
Abis Mal: But, but you said genies can't murder! You said that!
(As he's speaking, Abu suddenly appears from behind the throne to try and grab the lamp)
Jafar: You'd be surprised what you can live through. What?!
(Abu screeches in alarm, and grabs Jafar's lamp)
Abis Mal: What? Hey!
(Aladdin suddenly bursts out and he grabs the lamp)
Aladdin: I'll take that!
Abis Mal: My lamp! Gimme! Mine! Gimme!
Jafar: The street rat? Yet alive? NoooooOOOO!!!!
(Jafar conjures up a fireball, and throws it at them. The fireball hits dead-center, and they are blasted onto the balcony, which suddenly starts to crumble. As it gives room under them, they jump across and try to get off the balcony, but Abu falls backward, and so does Abis Mal. Just as Aladdin is about to hit the ground, Genie turns into an armchair, and catches him)
Aladdin: Thanks, Genie.
(At that moment, Jasmine rides on Carpet)
Aladdin: Where's the lamp?
(Suddenly, everyone looks up to see Abis Mal stuck in a tree and attempting to reach Jafar's lamp, but it falls over and onto the ground. But before they can get to the lamp, the ground cracks once again, and out from it rises Jafar in his genie form. He laughs manically and knocks them all back)
Jasmine: The lamp!
(Then Jasmine takes the opportunity to grab the lamp while the evil genie is yet laughing)
Jafar: NOT SO FAST!!
(Jafar zaps Jasmine with a lightning bolt, and she retires back toward her friends. Meanwhile, Jafar turns around to a voice from behind him, seemingly Aladdin)
Aladdin: Give it up, Jafar! We're obviously too much for you to handle.
Jafar: YOU! YOU'RE A FOOL TO CHALLENGE ME!! I AM ALL-POWERFUL!!!
Aladdin: Some all-powerful. You can't even get rid of a lowly street rat.
Jafar: A PROBLEM I MEAN TO RECTIFY RIGHT NOW!!
(Jasmine watches as Jafar snatches up Aladdin in his hands)
Jasmine: Aladdin!
(Aladdin strains, but he suddenly turns blue and fattens up. He reveals himself to actually be Genie, who sports his trademark smirk)
Jafar: WHAT?!
Genie: Gotcha now!
(Jafar turns to see the real Aladdin flying towards his lamp on Carpet)
Genie: Go, Al!
(Jafar, frustrated at having been tricked, tosses Genie aside, and he falls unconscious)
Jasmine: Genie!
Aladdin: Faster, Carpet!
(Jafar fires a bolo-shaped ball of fire, and it flies toward Carpet. The moment it hits, he turns stiff and smashes, breaking up into pieces)
Aladdin: Carpet, no!
Jasmine: Aladdin!
(Meanwhile, in the spot where Carpet smashed, Aladdin gets to his feet to try and get the lamp. But just as he is within reach, a rocky spire juts out from underneath him. It is revealed to have been conjured by Jafar, who laughs manically at Aladdin's difficulty. The evil genie claps his hands, and the ground splits open, revealing a pool of magma underneath)
Jasmine: Genie, wake up!
Abu: Wake up!
(More of the ground gives room, and soon, everyone is trapped inside the massive pool of magma. And right he is, for Aladdin is hanging on to his rock spire for dear life as it begins to sink into the magma. He tries to reach for Jafar's lamp twice, but misses both times. He just stands around, unsure of what to do, as he cannot get to it himself either. Jafar laughs at his misery)
Jafar: GIVE IT UP, BOY! (shoots fire from his eyes to make Aladdin sink faster) YOU SHALL NEVER HAVE MY LAMP, AND THERE IS NO ONE TO SAVE YOU THIS TIME!!
(At that moment, Iago flies in, sick and tired of his now former master's gloating)
Iago: Hey, Jafar! SHUT UP!!!!!
(Iago flies toward the rock where Jafar's lamp is lying, barely missing the evil genie's head in the process)
Aladdin: Iago?
Jafar: (furious) TRAITOR!!
(Jafar shoots lightning from his hand towards Iago, but it misses just as he has grabbed his lamp. Then Iago tries to give Aladdin the lamp, but Jafar blasts him with more lightning, smashing him against the wall and leaving him badly injured)
Jasmine: No!
(Iago just lies there, burned and too weak to fly, and tries to nudge the lamp into the lava, but soon falls limp)
Jafar: (laughing evilly) NICE HELP IS SO HARD TO FIND THESE DAYS, ISN'T IT, ALADDIN?!
(Jafar laughs again, confident he has won, but Iago uses the last of his strength to kick the lamp into the magma)
Jafar: (sees his lamp fall into the magma) MY LAMP!! Noooooo!
(As Jafar's lamp begins to melt, the rock a now-unconscious Iago is lying on starts to crumble, and he slides toward the magma)
Aladdin: Iago!
(Aladdin grabs Iago in time. Jafar groans and writhes in pain as his lamp eventually melts into a black puddle of molten metal. Meanwhile, the stone pillars everyone is standing on begin to sink into the magma. Genie stretches himself to the surface of the fissure, and everyone except Aladdin run up their back to safety. Meanwhile, Aladdin, who is carrying a yet unconscious Iago, jumps away from his pillar, runs across another one, and climbs up the wall of the hole as it begins to close up. Jafar, who is yet writhing in agony, spins around faster and faster before eventually exploding. Aladdin, however, makes it out of the fissure just as it fully closes, and a shimmer of light clears the clouds afar, revealing the beautiful blue heavens. Carpet, who fell to pieces, reforms himself and flies over to Abu)
Abu: Oh, boy!
(Carpet and Abu high-five each other in victory. Meanwhile, Aladdin is caressing a yet unconscious Iago)
Aladdin: Iago.
Jasmine: No!
Aladdin: But...I thought a genie couldn't murder anyone.
Iago: (coughs and opens his eyes) You'd be surprised what you can live through.
Aladdin: Alright!
Abu: Oh, boy!
Jasmine: Oh, Iago!
Genie: (shouting and cheering with Abu and Carpet) He's alive!
(He turns into a red firework rocket and shoot up into the heavens. Soon, there are lots of fireworks going off in the night heavens, celebrating Jafar's demise. Cut to the throne room. Iago is now lying on a bed of pillows with a splint on his right wing and the left one in a sling. He also has bandages tied around his head)
Iago: And then the bird lived happily ever after, wallowing in luxury as Aladdin's palace pal.
Sultan: Now, my darling boy or should I say, my new vizier?
Iago: (emotional) Oh, say it!
Aladdin: Sultan, I'm very honored, but...
Iago: (flies away from his pillow and knocking Abu away from Aladdin's shoulder in confusion) But?! What but? "But" is such a strong word!
Abu: Why, I oughta...
(Carpet grabs Abu as Aladdin tries to explain his reasons for turning down the grand vizier position)
Aladdin: I can't be your vizier.
Iago: What?! (grabs the Sultan’s shirt) Sultan, the boy's speaking crazy language! Don't listen! (yelling at Aladdin) WHAT MORE HAVE YOU DONE?!
Aladdin: The world.
Iago: Look, personally. I'm with you, boy, but let's take it one step at a time.
(Genie grabs Iago and wraps his beak in bandages to keep it shut)
Aladdin: I mean...I want to see the world. I can't just stay in the palace. (looks out into the city from the balcony) There's too much to do, too much to see.
Iago: Hey, what about your girlfriend? Do you think that this lovely princess is just going to wait around here?
(Iago squawks as Rajah holds him down to try and keep him silent)
Jasmine: I most certainly will not!
Iago: There, you see?
Jasmine: I'm going to see the world, as well.
Iago: Alright, that's it! The madness is spreading! Awk, crazy language! (flies around in outrage) Why do I keep getting hooked up with these warped people? Shouldn't somebody ask what the brave parrot wants to do?
(Screen fades from black, revealing the palace courtyard, night. Abis Mal is yet hanging from the tree branch he's stuck on)
Abis Mal: Does this mean I don't get my third wish?
(Screen fades from black, revealing the title card, "Now on Videocassette")
Brian Cummings: Now on videocassette!
(After the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo, we fade to silent clips of "Bambi", "Pinocchio" and "101 Dalmatians")
Brian Cummings: Walt Disney Home Video has brought your family the most wonderful stories of friendship, like "Bambi", "Pinocchio" and "101 Dalmatians". And now on home video for the very first time, the Walt Disney movie classic: "The Fox and the Hound". It's the unforgettable story of two friends: Tod...
Young Tod: I'm a fox!
Brian Cummings: And Copper.
Young Copper: I'm a hound dog!
Brian Cummings: Two friends who didn't know they were supposed to be enemies.
Big Mama: Copper's gonna come back a trained hunting dog.
Brian Cummings: But growing up has led them on different paths.
Tod: We're yet friends, aren't we?
Copper: These days are over. I'm a––I'm a hunting dog now.
Brian Cummings: And now, their friendship and loyalty will face the ultimate challenge.
(Chief starts barking viciously)
Amos Slade: It's that fox again.
Brian Cummings: "The Fox and the Hound".
Amos Slade: After him, boys!
Widow Tweed: They're after Tod!
Copper: I'll let you go this one time.
Brian Cummings: ABC-TV called it "A landmark Disney film".
(The bear growls and lumbers forward)
And now on video, you can share with your family this breathtaking story of courage, royalty and friendship.
Boomer: Buh-buh-buh-beautiful!
Brian Cummings: For a limited time, you can add this classic movie to your collection. Walt Disney's "The Fox and the Hound" on videocassette!
Young Tod: And we'll always be friends forever.
(After the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo, the screen fades to reveal silent clips of "The Little Mermaid" as the title music plays)
Mark Elliott: Three years ago, we took you on a magical journey under the sea.
(Triton's castle under the sea is revealed. After a thunderclap, we transition over to Beast's castle, with silent clips of "Beauty and the Beast" playing as its respective musical score plays)
Last year, we took you to a place where a beautiful girl looked into the heart of a beast and found the man of her dreams.
(An instrumental version of Aladdin's deleted song, "Why Me?" plays as clips from "Aladdin" are shown now)
Now come with us and enter an entire new world beyond your imagination where a boy discovers a magic lamp and a genie who can make all his dreams come true.
(Genie rises from the magical clouds as he shrieks. Then the music stops as his neck cracks)
Genie: OI! Ten-thousand yeeeeears will give you such a crick in the neck!
(Genie magically tears his head apart)
WOAAHHHH!!!!
(Genie sticks his head back into place)
WOW!!
(Aladdin collapses after Abu and Magic Carpet pull him down)
Then what'll it be, master?
Aladdin: I must've hit my head harder than I thought.
Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video presents "Aladdin".
Aladdin: You're a genie?
(Genie slaps a graduation cap and scroll on Aladdin)
Genie: That's right! He can be taught! (sings) You ain't never had a friend like me.
(Genie bursts out of the lamp and grows)
Ha ha ha!
(Genie appears in a giant form, but we cut to him controlling Magic Carpet as they break from under the Cave of Wonders)
Mark Elliott: Imagine an entire new world of emotion.
Aladdin: A magic carpet.
Mark Elliott: Danger.
Aladdin: Woah! Carpet, let's move!
Mark Elliott: And enchantment. It's the story of a poor boy from the streets and a beautiful girl from the palace.
Razoul: Princess Jasmine!
Abu: (Waves in front of Aladdin's eyes) Hello?
Mark Elliott: They were two very different people.
Sultan: The law says you....
Together: Must be married to a prince!
Mark Elliott: Brought together by one incredible wish.
Genie: What is this (Taps Aladdin's nose) you want most?
Aladdin: There's this girl.
Genie: Pretty?
Aladdin: Beautiful!
(We cut to Abu and Magic Carpet tapping their wine glasses as Genie smokes a heart around them)
Genie: C'est l'amour.
Aladdin: But she's the princess. To even a chance, I'd have to be....
Genie: Say the magic words.
Aladdin: Genie, I wish for you to make me a prince!
Genie: (Throws his book aside) Alright! (Rolls up his sleeves) Hang onto your turban, boy! We're gonna make you a star! (singing) Prince Ali, mighty is he, Ali Ababwa!
Mark Elliott: But the evil sorcerer Jafar has learned the secret of Aladdin's power.
Jafar: He has the lamp.
Mark Elliott: And he'll stop at nothing to steal it apart.
Jafar: It's time to say a farewell.
Aladdin: We'll just see about that!
(Jafar's staff gets destroyed, but we cut to Jafar pulling out a vial)
Jafar: THIS IS NOT DONE YET, BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hits the vial and disappears in a pink cloud of smoke)
Mark Elliott: Imagine the world at your command.
Aladdin/Prince Ali: Genie, I need help! Jasmine won't even let me speak to her. (Walks off the edge of the balcony)
Jasmine: No!
Mark Elliott: Only to discover the biggest power is within.
Bee Genie: (To Aladdin) Remember, "bee" yourself.
Aladdin/Prince Ali: (Sticks his hand out to the camera) Do you trust me?
Jasmine: (sings) An entire new world!
Aladdin/Prince Ali: (singing) Don't you dare close your eyes!
Mark Elliott: "Aladdin". Featuring six new songs from the Academy Award-winning composer of "The Little Mermaid" and "Beauty and the Beast".
Genie: Come over here, big group hug! (Stretches his arms and hugs Aladdin, Jasmine, Abu, Rajah and Magic Carpet) Group hug! (sings) Never...had a...friend...
Mark Elliott: On video for a limited time, it's Walt Disney's classic, "Aladdin"!
Genie: (singing) You ain't never had a friend like me. Ha!
(Suddenly, the film is grabbed "off the projector", the Genie lifts it up and looks at the audience)
Made ya look.
(Screen fades from black, revealing the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo)
Mark Elliott: 50 years ago, Walt Disney created a motion picture masterpiece that would become one of the biggest films of all time. And brought to life characters known and loved the world over.
Jiminy Cricket: Nice piece of wood as well.
Mark Elliott: Now, that timeless classic is on videocassette. It's Walt Disney's one and only "Pinocchio".
Pinocchio: (sings) I have no string to hold me dow––
(Pinocchio trips down the stairs and lands on the stage floor with his face)
Mark Elliott: "Pinocchio". The story of the wooden puppet who wanted to become a real boy.
Pinocchio: I'm going to school.
Jiminy Cricket: That's the stuff, Pinoke!
Mark Elliott: And set off on a fantastic adventure with a very special friend.
Jiminy Cricket: Cricket's the name!
Mark Elliott: Jiminy Cricket!
Honest John: (singing) Hi-diddle-dee-dee! An actor's life for me!
Mark Elliott: "Pinocchio"!
Pinocchio: What just happened?
Mark Elliott: With its unforgettable characters.
The Blue Fairy: (Chuckles) Would you like to be Pinocchio's conscience?
Jiminy Cricket: Well...uh-huh.
Mark Elliott: Its memorable moments.
(Monstro splashes into the water)
And its wonderful music.
Jiminy Cricket: (singing) If you wish upon a star...
Mark Elliott: No family should be without the masterpiece that's touched the hearts of millions.
Geppetto: You ARE a real boy!
(Figaro jumps into the fish bowl and kisses Cleo)
Mark Elliott: And now, this magical movie is on videocassette.
Jiminy Cricket: I think it's swell.
Mark Elliott: It's the last time this century you can own Walt Disney's classic, "Pinocchio". For anyone who's ever wished upon a star!
(Screen fades from black, revealing several clips of silent Disney animated films: "The Jungle Book", "Beauty and the Beast", "Bambi", "Peter Pan", "Aladdin", "Cinderella" and "The Little Mermaid")
Brian Cummings: Through the years, "Disney Classics" has brought your family the laughter, the thrilling adventures, the spirited fun and that indescribable feeling that makes "Disney Classics" truly special. Many of these films have come and gone on video.
(We cut to silent clips of "Mary Poppins", "Alice in Wonderland", "Dumbo", "Robin Hood" and "The Sword in the Stone")
But you can always bring the magic home with these collection of unforgettable classics.
Mary Poppins: (sings) Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Brian Cummings: There's "Mary Poppins", everybody's favorite nanny who turns the world into a magical adventure. And if you think of magical adventures, how would you not think of "Alice in Wonderland"?
White Rabbit: I'm late! I'm late! For a very reluctant date!
Brian Cummings: A place where nothing is as it seems...
Cheshire Cat: Almost everyone is mad here.
Brian Cummings: Then just what you thought you'd seen it all, look up above!
Timothy: Look!
Brian Cummings: It's everybody's favorite flying elephant!
The Ringmaster: Dumbo!
Brian Cummings: He's the world's biggest hero, taking from the rich and giving to the poor.
Little John: That boy has class!
Brian Cummings: He's "Robin Hood"!
Townspeople: Long live Robin Hood!
Brian Cummings: Ah, but long ago there were no heroes, there was a little boy......
Arthur Pendragon: My name is Arthur.
Brian Cummings: Who along with Merlin, the mighty magician......
Merlin: (singing) Hockety pockety wockety wack.
Brian Cummings: ...change the world forever in "The Sword in the Stone".
All: Hail King Arthur!
Brian Cummings: Keep the Disney magic alive in your home with five films your family will cherish forever. "Walt Disney Classics" on video, for these who love to dream. Which one is missing from your collection?
(Screen fades to the Walt Disney Classics logo)
Tony Jay: Move over, Lassie. Francis, the most popular mule to ever grace the big screen is back.
Francis: Yahoo! Geronimo!
Tony Jay: The delightful and hilarious speaking mule and his sidekick Donald O'Connor are here in four grand Francis classics never before released on home video.
Francis: We're a team, right?
Peter Stirling: Right.
Francis: Mule and jackass, right?
Peter Stirling: Right.
Francis: Right. Takes one to know one.
Tony Jay: This mule means business, where MCA/Universal Home Video is releasing the "Francis the Speaking Mule" Collection for the knockout price of just $14.98 each.
Francis: If that ain't just wacky.
Tony Jay: "Francis the Speaking Mule", "Francis Goes to the Races", "Francis Joins the WACS" and "Francis in the Navy". Then quit horsing around and pick a winner.
Francis: You know something? You look like a horse as well, major.
Tony Jay: The "Francis" Collection from MCA/Universal Home Video. Collect them all!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Warner Bros. Family Entertainment logo)
Don LaFontaine: Now, are you ready....for the biggest, most emotional, action-packed animated movie ever on the big screen? "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm". The Dark Knight fights his most awesome villain: The Phantasm. Plus, he faces every danger by the crime-ridden streets of Gotham City can offer up. "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm". Rated PG!
Tom Kane: For Tiny, life couldn't get any better. But until Tiny was separated from his owners, a family of frightened bunnies...
Rebecca: Run away!
Tom Kane: Takes them in as their own. Now, with danger everywhere, Tiny must help his new siblings learn that faith and fear can't be in the heart at the same time.
Tiny: Sometimes you need to face the danger.
Tom Kane: But soon, Tiny is also in danger.
Mother Rabbit: He doesn't look well.
Dr. Owl: He must be returned to his home with the humans.
Tom Kane: Feature Films for Families proudly presents an example of true courage from "The Seventh Brother"!
Grandpa: Alright, you two. Where do dinosaurs come from?
Both: New York City!
Grandpa: And what do they like to eat?
Both: Hot dogs!
Grandpa: Then what do they like to do?
Both: Dance!
Kath Soucie: Steven Spielberg presents "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story". For children of all ages, and now you can bring it home from MCA/Universal Home Video.
Grandpa: Hey, let's watch it again.
Both: Ye-ee-ee-es!
Kath Soucie: "We're Back!". Only $24.98 and each video includes a $20 savings booklet!
Don LaFontaine: The animated adventure of the year is about to set sail.
Columbus: Cast off!
Don LaFontaine: It's the incredible journey of Christopher Columbus..
Columbus: The world is round!
Don LaFontaine: And a fantastic crew of characters.
Pico: Pico the woodworm, at your service.
Don LaFontaine: Together, they embarked on a mystical voyage.
Rat: Where are we going any matter?
Don LaFontaine: Complete with danger.....
Marilyn: It's the Swarm Lord!
Don LaFontaine: And magic to a new land where dreams come true. Don't miss the boat! Take home "The Magic Voyage". Now available on videocassette!
Brian Cummings: Also from Walt Disney Home Video. Two unforgettable motion pictures audiences of all ages will love. The Emmy award-winning film: "Anne of Green Gables" and "Anne of Avonlea", its enchanting sequel. These inspiring films warn the story of a precocious orphan and her journey from awkward girl to mature woman. In the grand Disney tradition, these classic films come from the Wonderworks collection and feature a cast of award-winning stars, including Richard Farnsworth, Colleen Dewhurst, Frank Converse, Dame Wendy Hiller and Megan Follows as Anne. "Anne of Green Gables" and "Anne of Avonlea" are heartwarming epics of friendship and love. Cinematic treasures from award-winning director Kevin Sullivan. High-spirited, warmhearted fun you can enjoy again and again. Collectible films you can own and cherish forever. "Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea". From Walt Disney Home Video!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Peanuts Home Video logo)
John Leader: Introducing Peanuts Home Video.
Charlie Brown: I love it!
John Leader: A celebration of the best in Peanuts entertainment, new from Paramount and affordably priced wherever videocassettes are sold. These fun-filled programs start your favorite animated characters. From children to adults, everyone will enjoy the delightful adventures of the Peanuts gang.
Lucy Van Pelt: Aah! I've been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs! Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!
Snoopy: Bleah...
John Leader: These holiday specials are the best-loved of all Peanuts programs.
Lucy Van Pelt: He gave me my own egg!
John Leader: Now available on video, "It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown", priced at just $12.95. And for just $17.95, you get a special plush toy of Snoopy and an Easter outfit along with the cassette. Then it's a Peanuts' eye view of grand moments in history.
Dolly: We came to see the Wright Brothers. Will they be flying today?
John Leader: With "The Grand Inventors" and "The Wright Brothers at Kitty Hawk" for just $9.95 each. "The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show" Collection features a delightful array of Peanuts-sized stories.
Charlie Brown: This time I'm gonna kick that football clear to the moon! AAUUGGHH!!
John Leader: Volume 1 and 2 are collectively priced at $9.95 each. The "Snoopy Double Feature" will double you up in laughter. This series features two prime-time Peanuts specials on one cassette.
Violet: That dog is impossible!
John Leader: The first double feature is "You're the Biggest, Charlie Brown" with "Snoopy's Reunion", and the second is "He's Your Dog, Charlie Brown" with "It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown", priced at just $12.95 each. And be sure to look for a batch of more Peanuts programs coming soon on videocassette.
Peppermint Patty: Hey, that's neat.
John Leader: Then start your Peanuts collection today!
Ludwig von Drake: La, da, la, da, dee, ba, ba! Oh, that's beautiful! Sing along! Heigh-ho...oh. I'm trying to find the right note here. Because we have a lot of other sing along songs to sing along with heigh-ho! Oh, dear, I...I must get ready here. Heigh-ho-oh! Oh, there it is!
Seven Dwarfs: (singing) Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's home from work we go.
Ludwig von Drake: These little guys are so cute.
Seven Dwarfs: (singing) Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's home from work we go!
Ludwig von Drake: And we've had "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah", zip-a-dee-day!
Uncle Remus: (sings) My, oh, my, what a wonderful day.
Ludwig von Drake: And then "You Can Fly" or better yet, sing with Peter Pan and the Wendy person.
Chorus: (singing) And bid your cares farewell. You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!
Ludwig von Drake: And look for "The Bare Necessities". These kooky bear necessities.
Baloo: (singing) Forget about your concerns and your strife, I mean the bare necessities, old Mother Nature's recipes that bring the bare necessities of life.
Ludwig von Drake: And there's Fun with Ludwig. (chuckles) No, I mean "Fun with Music". And with that Dodger from "Oliver & Company", you gets nothing to concern about.
Dodger: (singing) Why should I worry? Why should I care? It's just be-bopulation and I got street savoir faire!
Sebastian: (sings) Under the sea.
Ludwig von Drake: We can also sing along "Under the Sea" and other wet places.
Sebastian: (singing) Darling it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me!
Ludwig von Drake: What else we have there? Oh, "Disneyland Fun"! I'm gonna need a lot of fun singing about Disneyland. Because you know, Disneyland's a nice place to have fun.
Children: (singing) It's a small world after all. It's a small, small world!
Uncle Albert and Bert: (singing) We love to laugh!
Ludwig von Drake: And, and then there's "I Love to Laugh"! (laughing) Actually, I love to laugh, you love to laugh, we all love to laugh. Everybody loved to laugh and sing about it then, whatever. And from "Beauty and the Beast". We can all sing along with the pots and the teacups and the vases. Everything but the kitchen sink in "Be Our Guest".
All: (singing) Be our guest, be our guest, our command is your request.
Cogsworth: (simultaneously) Let's go, people. Fun's over. Over here. Line up. Not...aahhhh!!!!
All: (singing) It's ten years since we've had anybody here and we're obsessed!
Ludwig von Drake: And you ain't never had a friend like this one. He's that big blue kooky fella. It's the very friendly Genie from "Aladdin". And he's had some wishes to grant in a "Friend Like Me".
Genie: (sings) Like...meeeee!
Ludwig von Drake: Now you at home, yes! You can join in the fun. Sing, dance and play along to your favorite Disney songs!
(After Abu stuffs up as much gold into his cap, we cut to Genie's body forming a tornado and sucking everything off)
Genie: (singing) You ain't never had a friend like me. Ha!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Alvin and the Chipmunks Sing-Alongs logo)
Brian Cummings: Now on videocassette, it's a grand new sing-along from "Alvin and the Chipmunks".
The Chipmunks: (singing) Oh, let's all sing with the chipmunks, follow the bouncing ball.
Alvin Seville: Alvin!
Simon Seville: Simon!
Theodore Seville: Theodore!
The Chipmunks: (singing) Will drive Dave up the wall.
Dave Seville: ALVIIIIIN!!
The Chipmunks: (singing) But we all love to dance and sing and if you sing along. We promise fun for everyone, come join us in our song!
Brian Cummings: It's the Chipmunks' first sing-along. Get in on the fun and sing along to these favorite songs.
The Chipmunks: (singing) Yippee-ki-yi-yo, get along little little doggies. It's your misfortune, and none of my own. While strolling in the park one day, all in the merry month of May. Oh, I'm off to Louisiana, just to get my Susianna, sing polly wolly doodle all the day. Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. Cha-cha-cha! Alouette, je te alouette. Alouette, je te plumerai! Ooh, ee, ooh-ah-ah ting tang, walla walla, bing bang. Ooh, ee, ooh-ah-ah ting tang, walla walla, bing bang!
Brian Cummings: No one makes sing-alongs more fun than "Alvin and the Chipmunks", eleven wild and wacky songs. Now available on videocassette!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Disney's Favorite Stories logo)
Brian Cummings: Everyone loves a grand story, and now Disney's "Favorite Stories" Collection brings you four fun-filled classic children's stories on videocassette. First, there's adventure in every twist and turn of "Mickey and the Beanstalk".
Mickey: I sold the cow for some magic beans!
Brian Cummings: Where Mickey Mouse and his friends try bravely to rescue the golden harp from a very big giant.
Willie the Giant: Fee-fi-fo-fum!
Brian Cummings: It's a tall tale with a really smashing ending. Then a-hunting we all go in the timeless story of "Peter and the Wolf". Come along with this band of fearless friends as they set out to bag a big bad wolf. It's a memorable musical journey and a wild pursuit that will have you rooting for Peter and his brave pals. Plus there's lots of fun and thrills to follow in "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow".
Abigail Gabble: (sings) It's the new school master.
Amelia Gabble: (singing) What's his name?
Ichabod Crane: (singing) Ichabod, Ichabod Crane!
Brian Cummings: He's a popular school teacher with a huge appetite for life, but since he bites off more than he can chew, Ichabod just might not have a ghost of a chance. And there's double danger throughout the kingdom in "The Prince and the Pauper". It's Mickey Mouse and Mickey Mouse.
Archbishop: Which one is which?
Brian Cummings: Until a wealthy prince and a poor peasant decide to change places.
Mickey: If my friends could see me now.
Pete: He's an imposter!
Brian Cummings: It's a case of mistaken identity that's twice as much fun.
Both: What a time I've–––– (laughing)
Brian Cummings: Treat yourself to four timeless tales filled with lots of laughs and fun. The "Favorite Stories" Collection from Walt Disney Home Video!
Laurie Main: Winnie the Pooh.
Rabbit: Who said that?
Tigger: It's the narrator.
Laurie Main: For a bear of very little brain, he certainly finds quite a lot of emotion.
Pooh: Who, me? Oh, I'm just looking for some honey. Would you happen to need any honey?
Laurie Main: I'm sorry, Pooh, I don't. But I do have four classic stories in the Hundred Acre Wood with you and Tigger and Eeyore and Christopher Robin. You're all so much fun.
Roo: Hooray!
Rabbit: Exactly!
Pooh: Well, actually, Mr. Narrator, I'm rather hungry. I do almost anything to fill my tummy.
Laurie Main: Sounds familiar, Pooh. Did you forget in "Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree", you take to the air if your old honey pot is bare?
Pooh: I shall fly like a bee, up to the honey tree. You see?
Laurie Main: Then it's a windy day in the Hundred Acre Wood in the Academy Award-winning "Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day".
Pooh: That's until I saved poor little Piglet, and everybody threw a feast, just for me. Whee!
Christopher Robin: You are a hero!
Laurie Main: And do you remember "Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too"?
Tigger: Hello, Pooh! Rrrrow!
Pooh: Think, think, think, what is that song that Tiggers always sing?
Tigger: (singing) The wonderful facts about tiggers, is tiggers are wonderful facts! Their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of springs! They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful fact about tiggers is I'm the only one!
Pooh: Oh, yes, that was the time we all tried to take the bounce out of Tigger.
Tigger: Oh, don't be ridiculous.
Pooh: It didn't work out very well.
Tigger: Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Pooh: That is, not as well as Eeyore's birthday festival.
Laurie Main: That's right. In "Winnie the Pooh and a Day for Eeyore", Eeyore thinks everyone's forgotten his birthday.
Eeyore: Nobody cares.
Laurie Main: But you and your friends proved him wrong with a surprise feast.
Owl: Oh, this is so emotional!
Laurie Main: I wish children of all ages would really have fun sharing these adventures with you, Pooh, and all your friends from the Hundred Acre Wood.
Tigger: Why, certainly!
Laurie Main: There's one, two, three, four.
Pooh: Pots of honey?
Laurie Main: No, four Winnie the Pooh storybook videos.
Pooh: Oh, bother.
Laurie Main: There's nothing more fun than collecting all four. Except collecting honey, of course!
Tigger: T-T-F-N, ta-ta for now! (laughs)
Jeff Bennett: Hey, guys, now there's three new "Winnie the Pooh" videos for playtime fun with Pooh and all his friends.
Male Singer: (sings) Hey, it's playtime, yippy-yay time. A world of adventure is waiting for you. You'll adore these playtime stories with three types of fun and three times as much Pooh!
Jeff Bennett: Take a wild ride with "Cowboy Pooh".
Tigger: Toot-toot!
Jeff Bennett: All aboard for a fun ride on a crazy choo-choo train into the old West with Pooh and his pals. And it's "Detective Tigger". He's the only one who can locate the missing honey.
Rabbit: Amazing!
Jeff Bennett: You'll also find lots of laughs along the road. Then you're invited to a "Pooh Feast".
Tigger: It's festival time!
Jeff Bennett: Pooh has the perfect plan to make Rabbit's big bash a jumping best time.
Male Singer: (singing) Pooh is making friends and taking a journey to somewhere emotional and new.
Chorus: (singing) Emotional and new!
Male Singer: (singing) You can go there, now you know where to find the adventures of...can you guess who? Hooray time! It's playtime with Winnie the Pooh!
Jeff Bennett: Collect all three Playtime videos and play along with Winnie the Pooh!
Gopher: Hold everything! I found some spectacular news.
Rabbit: Oh, my!
Jeff Bennett: That's right! Now, there's three new "Winnie the Pooh" videos that really make learning fun.
Tigger: Oh, boy! I've been waiting for this.
Male Singer: (sings) Someone's winking, someone's thinking of all kinds of fun facts to learn and to do so. It's the Pooh Bear grinning for you there in three grand collections of "Winnie the Pooh"!
Jeff Bennett: First, in "Making Friends", Pooh and his pals meet some friendly bugs.
Tigger: Having fun with friends is what Tiggers do the best!
Jeff Bennett: And they soon find out how reluctant best friends can be.
Tigger: Hooray!
Jeff Bennett: Then, it's "Sharing and Caring".
Pooh: Yes!
Jeff Bennett: See how everyone gets to know the gift of getting along with others.
Pack Rats: Ta-da!
Jeff Bennett: By giving instead of taking.
Pooh: For me?
Jeff Bennett: And, in "Helping Others", as Pooh and his friends put their heads together...
Pooh: I think this may requires some thinking.
Jeff Bennett: And lend a helping hand.
Piglet: Don't you want some help?
Jeff Bennett: They always get very big rewards.
Roo: Wow!
Rabbit: Why? That's it!
Tigger: It's unbelieve-abibble!
Gopher: By ding-dangy, you're right!
Male Singer: (singing) Pooh Bear's hoping, you will open the door to adventure and walk right on through.
Chorus: (singing) Winnie the Pooh!
Male Singer: (singing) We'll be sharing, helping and caring and making some new friends with can you guess who? We're thinking in learning with "Winnie the Pooh"!
Jeff Bennett: You'll love learning with "Winnie the Pooh" in these three special videos. Collect them all from Walt Disney Home Video!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the blue-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo)
Brian Cummings: Now available from Walt Disney Home Video, it's "Spot".
Duncan Lamont: (sings) With a grin and a laugh, he can light up your day. Like the sun peeking over the hill. And his eyes give a wink, because he's ready to play. Come along, it will be quite a thrill. There's a brand new world to discover, let's uncover what he's found. Everyone...is having lots of fun with a friend...named...Spot!
Brian Cummings: Disney presents "Spot". Now on video!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the title card, "Now Available from Jim Henson Video")
Mark Elliott: Now available from Jim Henson Video.
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Jim Henson Video logo)
Beau Weaver: Now available from Jim Henson Video.
(Screen fades to and from black, revealing the Hollywood sign)
Hollywood, the pot of gold at the rainbow's end.
(Screen spirals fast, transitioning to Kermit, Fozzie and Gonzo at the car shop)
Kermit the Frog: Hey, we're all going to Hollywood. You wanna come with us?
Sweetums: Hollywood?!
Beau Weaver: It's time to grab your pack, stick out your thumb and hitch a ride for the adventure of your life.
Sweetums: Hey, wait for me!
Beau Weaver: It's Jim Henson's "The Muppet Movie"!
Kermit and Fozzie: (singing) Moving right along.
Fozzie: (sings) Footloose and fancy free.
Dr. Teeth: (To Crazy Harry) You know, I hear this movie is dynamite.
(Crazy Harry hits down the TNT plunger and causes an explosion from inside the theater room)
Beau Weaver: It's a story of the open road, where hopeful hitchhikers come past a carload.
Fozzie: Want a lift?
Big Bird: No thanks. I'm on my road to New York City to try to break into public television.
Fozzie: Oh.
Beau Weaver: There's Fozzie at the wheel.
Fozzie: A bear and his natural habitat, a Studebaker.
Beau Weaver: Kermit guiding the road.
Kermit: Turn left if you come to a fork in the road.
Fozzie: Fork in the road.
(The Studebaker drives past an actual giant fork in the middle of the road)
Kermit: I don't believe that.
(Miss Piggy enters the restaurant in her new dress)
Male Announcer: And a roadside distraction named "Miss Piggy".
Kermit: Wow.
Male Announcer: "Hogging" the spotlight.
Miss Piggy: Here I am. I'm packed! Hyah! (Throws her laundry case to the backseat in between Gonzo and Rowlf)
Beau Weaver: Now, it's all aboard....
Kermit: (To Doc Hopper) Alright, everybody, on to Hollywood!
Beau Weaver: As the Muppets hit the jackpot.
Lew Lord: Stuff the standard rich and famous contact for Kermit the Frog and company.
Beau Weaver: And Hollywood's greatest stars get into the act. Milton Berle, Richard Pryor, Bob Hope, Steve Martin, and others.
Kermit the Frog: Will you taste it for us, please?
(The Waiter takes a sip of the wine and does a spit take)
The Waiter: Excellent choice.
Beau Weaver: And now, Hollywood will never be the same.
Kermit the Frog: Stand by! Here we go!
(Crazy Harry pulls a few levers, and the balloon prop Gonzo was holding onto smashes into the fake rainbow)
Beau Weaver: Soon you can own "The Muppet Movie" on videocassette!
Gonzo: Cheese.
Beau Weaver: A spectacular motion picture event.
Miss Piggy: I shall accept nothing less.
Beau Weaver: The one movie that has it all. "The Grand Muppet Caper".
Kermit the Frog: Let's go for it.
Together: Ye-ee-ee-es!
Beau Weaver: It's the story of a daring jewel heist. The target: Diana Rigg as wealthy Lady Holiday.
Lady Holiday: I feel as if thieves are breathing down my neck.
Nicky Holiday: Thieves weren't breathing down your neck.
Beau Weaver: The culprit: Charles Grodin as her dastardly brother.
Kermit the Frog: Why are you doing this?
Nicky Holiday: Because I'm a villain.
Beau Weaver: And the prime suspect.....
Gonzo: I think I found a picture of a thief!
Beau Weaver: A beautiful young pig.
Lady Holiday: Miss Piggy stole my necklace!
Beau Weaver: And now, it's up to Kermit the Frog...
Kermit the Frog: We're about to embark on a potentially dangerous mission.
Together: Woaahhhh!!!!
Beau Weaver: Fozzie Bear...
Fozzie Bear: We don't want the bad guys to win.
Beau Weaver: The Grand Gonzo....
Gonzo: I heard them planning to steal the Baseball Diamond.
Beau Weaver: And a heroic band of festive animals...
Kermit the Frog: We're gonna have to catch these thieves red-handed.
Beauregard: What color are their hands now?
Beau Weaver: To save the day.
Kermit the Frog: There could be physical violence...
Miss Piggy: Aahhhh!!!!
Kermit the Frog: There could be gun-play.....
Nicky Holiday: Alright. Back off!
Kermit the Frog: And there's a slightest chance that somebody might even get murdered.
Floyd Pepper: I'm out.
Dad: Uh, I've had a dental appointment.
Beau Weaver: It's Muppet action and adventure like you've never seen before.
Lady Holiday: It is rather breathtaking, isn't it?
Beau Weaver: All wrapped up in the wildest Muppet motion picture ever.
Miss Piggy: Well, you wanted emotion.
Beau Weaver: Now you can own "The Grand Muppet Caper" on videocassette!
Miss Piggy: Need I say more?
Brian Cummings: Now available from Jim Henson Video, it's a new Muppet sing-along: "It's Not Easy Being Green". And here's one of Kermit's favorite songs!
(At a tropical resort, many Muppets are singing while we pan around the luau area with some oysters singing)
Oysters: (singing) Aruba, Jamaica, ooo, I wanna take you.
Bermuda, Bahama, c'mon, pretty mama.
Key Largo, Montego, baby, why don't we go.
Jamaica...
(Then, up comes two dancing hula girls before out comes a familiar green frog in Hawaiian clothing playing the ukulele)
Kermit: (sings) Off the Florida Keys!
There's a place called Kokomo.
That's where you wanna go to get away from it all.
(As he walks around the beach, he notices a griffin drinking some coconut milk before nearing where a bunny named Be-Bop is playing kettle drums and a Coffee Guy is watching)
Bodies in the sand.
Tropical drink melting in your hand.
(An Inkspot is drinking a reptile's drink before he turns, noticing Inkspot smirking sheepishly before being kicked off by him)
We'll be falling in love.
To the rhythm of a steel drum band.
Down in Kokomo.
(Then he begins dancing with the hula girls)
All: (singing) Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take you.
To Bermuda...
Inkspot: (singing) Bahama!
(The reptile glances at where he burst up before Inkspot ducks down)
All: (singing) C'mon, pretty mama.
Key Largo, Montego, baby, why don't we go.
Fishes: (singing) Down to Kokomo.
Kermit: (singing) We'll get there fast.
And then we'll take it slow.
All: (singing) That's where we wanna go.
Way down in Kokomo.
(Then Inkspot appears as he sings his line with a shark bursting from behind)
Inkspot: (singing) Martinique, that Montserrat mystique.
(Inkspot yelps, noticing it before the gremlin runs with the shark chasing him. Then Kermit nears where the birds are while Whatnots dance a bit)
Kermit: (singing) We'll go out to sea.
And perfect our chemistry.
By and by, we'll defy a little bit of gravity.
(At that point, a coconut hits the sparrow on its head, but falls as it knocks over many other birds in a domino-style fashion. All while Kermit sits down at a beach chair, looking at a picture of Miss Piggy)
Afternoon delight.
Cocktails and moonlit nights.
That dreamy look in your eye.
Under a heavenly tropical island.
Way down in Kokomo.
(Then, they begin dancing with Kermit on ukulele)
All: (singing) Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take you.
To Bermuda....
Inkspot: (singing) Bahama!
All: (singing) C'mon, pretty mama.
Key Largo, Montego, baby, why don't we go.
Fishes: (singing) Down to Kokomo.
Kermit: (singing) We'll get there fast.
And then we'll take it slow.
All: (singing) That's where we wanna go.
Way down to Kokomo!
(The Jim Henson Video logo fades in)
Brian Cummings: Now on video, join Kermit and his new friend Billy Bunny in their very first Muppet sing-along video: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". Come along for rapping and roaring with some furry bears.
Bears: (singing) Roar! Roar!
Billy Bunny: (sings) That is what we really do so, yow!
Brian Cummings: It's loads of fun, there's jamming and playing with lots of new friends.
Frogs: (singing) Ribbit, croak, needeep, croak, ribbit.
Brian Cummings: Plus singing and swinging with the frogs.
Frogs: (singing) Needeep, croak, ribbit, croak, needeep.
Brian Cummings: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs".
Frogs: (singing) There's so much to say, and we have all day.
Frog #1: (sings) Needeep.
Frog #2: (singing) Croak.
Frogs: (singing) Ribbit!
Brian Cummings: Now on video!
(Screen fades from black, revealing a window of Doc's workshop)
Brian Cummings: Now available from Jim Henson Video, it's "Fraggle Rock", a special underground world inhabited by the Fraggles who adore music and love to play.
Fraggles: (singing) Dance your cares apart, concern's for another day. Let the music play, down to Fraggle Rock.
Doozers: (singing) Work your cares apart, dancing's for another day.
Fraggles: (singing) Let the Fraggles play. We're Gobo, Mokey, Wembley, Boober, Red!
Gobo Fraggle: Wowee!
Junior Gorg: Ooo! A Fraggle! Ha-ha! Hey, look, Ma. I caught a Fraggle!
Ma Gorg: Aah!
Fraggles: (singing) Dance your cares apart, concern's for another day. Let the music play, down in Fraggle Rock. Down in Fraggle Rock!
Boober Fraggle: Down at Fraggle Rock.
(Screen fades from black, revealing the title card, "Watch Out for Future Releases from Walt Disney Home Video")
Mark Elliott: Watch out for future releases from Walt Disney Home Video.
(Screen fades to black, ending the VHS tape)
Category:Transcripts