LOJS V5: Chapter 17 - Subverting Expectations!

Ahch-To - Unknown Regions
3rd person POV...
Jarik knocks on the door of Stoick's house, and soon enough the Viking chief answers it. He looks out at them pleasantly, nodding his head in greeting.
"Jarik, Ahsoka, what can I do for the two of you?" he asks.
"We were just wondering if you'd be willing to help us out in our next mission," Jarik states.
Stoick blinks in surprise at that. "Us, help you?"
"Yeah," Ahsoka confirms with a nod. "You think you could round up the dragon riders quickly enough?"
"Yeah, definitely," he says with a nod.
"Great, thanks," Jarik says.
Stoick then closes the door, and Jarik, Ahsoka and Mara start heading out towards the fields above the village, just beside the forest. Along the way they engage in some conversation, discussing the plan they had.
"So, this is it huh?" Mara comments.
"Yup. We finally have a solid plan on how to bring down the Sith and the Empire," Ahsoka replies.
"I can't wait to see the look on the Emperor's face when he gets a load of us!" Mara says eagerly.
"Don't be so eager Mara. The Emperor is a tough opponent," Jarik warns her.
"We can face him, I know we can," she replies confidently.
The trio quickly reach the field, and don't have to wait for too long. The sound of dragon's roaring gets their attention, and they look up to see Hiccup and Toothless soaring downwards, the rest of the gang behind them. Zenna lands nearby and rushes over to Mara, who pets her and giggles at the playful behavior.
"Hey guys, my dad called us," Hiccup says, dismounting Toothless. "So, you said you needed us for a mission?"
"Yeah. It's gonna be the most important mission of all!" Mara declares.
"Hah! No wonder you called me in," Snotlout says smugly, crossing his arms. He yelps in alarm when Hookfang suddenly shoots fire at him, and he runs around in a panic, quickly patting out the fire on his pants. "HOOKFANG!"
The Monstrous Nightmare rolls his eyes in response, while the Twins snicker at Snotlout's predicament.
"What is the mission?" Astrid asks.
"We're gonna take down the Emperor for good!" Mara states eagerly.
The dragon riders all widen their eyes and glance at each other in a mixture of surprise and excitement, chattering with each other.
"Really?" Fishlegs squeals.
"Yup!" Mara replies happily.
"Definitely sounds like an important mission. So what's the plan?" Hiccup asks.
"First thing you guys need to know is that this is a very dangerous mission. We wouldn't ask you guys to help out otherwise," Jarik informs them. He then frowns, looking over at Ahsoka. "Where's Anakin?"
"He said he'd be here..." Ahsoka murmurs, shrugging.
"Right here Snips," Anakin says, appearing out of the brush. "Sorry I'm late."
"You're always late," she replies with an exasperated sigh.
"Reminds me of someone similar," Tuffnut scoffs, glaring at Ruffnut.
"Yeah, I'm not the one who had to get his hair ready for thirty minutes!" she retorts.
"I'll have you know, it is very luxurious hair!" he snaps.
"I'm sure I more than make up for being late," Anakin says cockily to Ahsoka.
"Yeah, just ask Luke," Mara scoffs.
Anakin frowns at her. "Hey-"
"Guys, focus," Jarik sighs.
"Sorry," they all apologize, and he rolls his eyes at them.
"Alright, let's get down to business. We're gonna be attacking the Emperor head on, right on Coruscant," Jarik starts to explain. "We'll have the support of Thrawn's military, but the Imperial fleet is being led by General Syndulla."
"Well that complicates things," Anakin remarks.
"Yes, but we can still break through. Once we get to the planet's surface, that's where you guys come in," Jarik says, pointing at the dragon riders.
"What're we doing exactly?" Astrid asks.
"You're gonna be our firepower from the air as we storm the Imperial Palace. The Emperor's guards won't know how to face dragons," he explains.
"Got it! A mission where we get to blow things up! I can totally do that!" Tuffnut says.
"Doesn't sound too hard," Hiccup says with a nod.
"We will have to be careful though. Facing off against the Emperor will be the toughest thing of all," Ahsoka states.
"I thought Master Palpatine was going to be facing the Emperor," Mara says, frowning.
"Sheev hasn't really been answering my calls. We'll have to go without him on this one," Anakin explains.
"We can still do this. We're a great team," Ahsoka says reassuringly.
"Yup."
"Definitely."
"We've got this!"
The dragons all let out approving roars for emphasis.
"Great! Now let's get to the ship!" Jarik declares.
Before they can all get moving, a massive Star Destroyer suddenly bursts out of hyperspace above the planet's atmosphere, creating a loud boom. Everyone looks up in alarm, eyes wide in horror. More Star Destroyer's start appearing out of hyperspace, and it isn't long before a hail of green laser fire begins shooting down from above, completely decimating the village of Berk within moments.
"NO!" Hiccup exclaims in horror.
"Foolish heroes!" a gravely voice says.
The team whips around, and the dragons begin growling angrily. There, they see Emperor Yoda, along with his apprentice Darth Kenobi by his side. with them also is Master Palpatine, who looks battered and beaten, a lightsaber held at his throat by Darth Kenobi.
"Thought we would not find you, did you?" the Emperor taunts.
"Yoda!" Jarik exclaims.
"Easy it was, to hunt you down," he continues.
"Now surrender to us, or your precious Grand Master dies," Darth Kenobi threatens.
"No! You mustn't!" Palpatine protests. "The Senate depends on you!"
"Silence!" Kenobi roars.
"I thought he was the Senate..." Ruffnut mutters.
"Let him go!" Anakin yells.
"Surrender yourself Skywalker!" Kenobi retorts.
"Anakin, listen to me! You must not put the fate of the galaxy behind the fate of me!" Palpatine pleads.
"But-"
"If surrender you will not, pay the consequences, you will," Yoda declares angrily.
With those words, Darth Kenobi slices his lightsaber across Palpatine's throat. The Jedi Master gasps breathlessly for a moment, and then falls to the ground dead. Anakin, Jarik, Ahsoka, and a few others scream out in horror...
----
Jarik sits up up bed, suddenly wide awake, and blinks his eyes in complete bafflement. He groans in exhaustion, stretching his arms with a yawn.
"What a weird dream..." he mutters to himself. "As if such a thing existed like that."
The door is then kicked open, causing Jarik to jump in surprise, quickly standing to his feet and getting into a defensive position. what greats him is the most baffling sight, as a man dressed in a red and black colored tactical uniform, with black spots over the eyes, which were pure white with no pupils. Covering his uniform was an assortment of various weapons, ranging from guns, grenades, ammunition, as well as two swords strapped to his back. He looks over at Jarik, and waves his hand casually.
"Oh hi there. Bet you weren't expecting to see me did you?" he asks.
"Who are you?" Jarik demands.
"Oh you don't know me. But they know me," he says, gesturing to YOU.
Jarik furrows a brow and glances over where the man pointed, spotting nothing.
"Who?" he asks.
"The audience!" he replies in exasperation. "The readers! Those little fanfiction ~beep~ that do nothing but dream about fiction inside of fiction all ~beep~ day!"
The man's white eyes then narrow, as if bewildered and exasperated.
"Wow, really? You censor your ~double beep~ stories?" he asks, before waving his arms. "Ohh ~beep~! Hey guess what xxTheTruMan196, you can kiss my ~beep~!"
Jarik is now gaping incredulously at him. "What the heck are you talking about?!"
"Hmm? Oh yeah, you're probably just as dumb as the rest of the people in this fanfiction story," he replies. "Oh, I'm Deadpool by the way."
"...what?" Jarik asks again.
Deadpool seemingly rolls his eyes and then rips off his mask, looking over at YOU.
"Is the mask muffling my voice?" he asks.
"Ok just- just put the mask back on," Jarik says.
"Oh, you're the sensitive type," Deadpool says mockingly, but complies with the request.
"No I'm not. you don't even know what I've been through," he retorts.
"Uh, yes I do," Deadpool states casually, pulling out his smartphone. "I read Volume 3 of the Legacy of Jarik Shan. Kind of dark stuff if you ask me."
Jarik continues to stare dumbly at him, and so Deadpool moves forwards, getting uncomfortably close to Jarik and showing him the phone screen. "See?"
"No, I don't want to see it," Jarik replies irritably, shoving him away. "I'd ask why are you here, but right now I'm more concerned about HOW you got here!"
"Oh that? That's easy," Deadpool scoffs, putting his phone away.
"Didn't you get the memo? It's April Fool's day, and the author decided he wanted to add me in for some corny ~beep~ for his- oh just stop censoring me!" Deadpool yells, glaring at ME before returning his focus to Jarik. "Yeah, you get the gist."
"You're insane," Jarik finally says.
"I know right?!" Deadpool laughs. "Almost as insane as Ryan Reynolds signing up for Green Lantern! Woooh! He still gets nightmares."
"Right..." he replies, slowly nodding his head.
"Oh by the way, did you know the author has you resembling Viggo Mortensen? I'm gonna be honest I'm kind of jealous! I'm just played by Ryan Reynolds! I mean Ryan is cool of course, but who wouldn't want to have an epic Lord of the Rings character playing you in the movies?" Deadpool rambles off, before stopping. "Although I guess Viggo doesn't really suit my role at all now that I think about it... Yeah I'll just stick with Reynolds. He was born to play me... except for X-Men: Origins."
"Oh, so there's movies about me," Jarik remarks dryly.
"No, of course not. You're just a fanfiction character," Deadpool scoffs dismissively. "The amount of people that know about you can be compared to a grain of sand!"
"Thanks. That makes me feel so much better," he replies in exasperation, rolling his eyes. At this point Jarik honestly doesn't even know what to do.
"You're welcome. I'm kind of tired the author still has me here, I've got s- stuff to do! Hey, I censored myself for you, you happy?" he shouts at ME.
"I'm so confused..." Jarik murmurs to himself.
"Oh don't worry about it. This chapter never happened!" Deadpool comments. "Just remember something..."
Jarik looks up at him with narrowed eyes as Deadpool pauses for dramatic effect.
"...don't be a loser!" he finishes.
"Thanks... I'll try... not to be," Jarik replies, face contorting to one of confusion.
"Also this chapter never happened!" he tells YOU. "It's April Fools! Good luck reading this author's trashy fanfiction!"
As Deadpool leaves the hutt, a swarm of Terrible Terrors suddenly converge on him, shoving him over a small cliff. He cries out in surprise, grunting as he hits the ground, half laughing and half groaning in pain. The little dragons all hiss at him before flying off, and Deadpool gets back to his feet, brushing off his suit.
"Really? You know I was kidding!" he says, making a face. "By the way I know you only did this because you want your character to interact with a Fourth Wall breaking character. You could of just made your own!"
The Terrors begin to come back, readying themselves to blow fire...
"Ok, stop it!" Deadpool exclaims.
Category:Non-canon
Category:Chapters