A Relaxing Retreat

This is the 44th episode of Hoopla's Fantastic Beach, and the 5th episode of season 4.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with Hoopla entering a pawn shop, with his father’s watch in his hand)
Pawn shop owner: Good afternoon, sir! 
Hoopla: Um, it’s 2022. You can’t go around assuming I’m a sir.
Pawn shop owner: But you are a sir, are you not?
Hoopla: …yes. Anyway I have my dad’s pocket watch. It’s one of only like a thousand ever made.
Pawn shop owner: May I take a look-see?
Hoopla: Go for it.
(Hoopla hands over the watch to the owner, and he inspects the watch)
Pawn shop owner: Very interesting. How about I sell this to you for… 100 thousand dollars?
Hoopla: 100 thousand?! I didn’t know it would be that much!
Pawn shop owner: Me neither, until I checked to see which kind it is. You’re right, this is an extremely rare watch. So, how about that 100 grand?
Hoopla: Deal. (he shakes hands with the owner)
Pawn shop owner: So, do you have any identification on you?
Hoopla: Bruh, who cares about identification?
Pawn shop owner: Fair point. How would you like to obtain the money?
Hoopla: Don’t worry, I’ve prepared for a scenario like this. (he wheels up a wheelbarrow) In it goes.
Pawn shop owner: Well I’ll be damned.
(A while later, Hoopla has all the money in the wheelbarrow and walks away with it.)
Pawn shop owner: Now to sell it for ten times the price on https://www.ebay.com! (Yes he said the whole URL out loud) Muahahhahahaha!
Pawn shop employee: (cleaning the floors) Um sir, will I get paid more for this?
Pawn shop owner: NO! NOW GET BACK TO WORK!
Pawn shop employee: (sighs and goes back to mopping)
(Cut to Hoopla in his apartment hotel room thing)
Hoopla: (sigh) Finally. Now with this extra cash in hand, I’ll finally be able to move out of this small space and still have enough money to stay afloat on.
Hotel maid: (takes off uniform) I’m done. I’m done with this stupid job.
Hoopla: WHOA! AWOO-
(The hotel maid disintegrates when the uniform is taken off and nothing not suitable for this show’s age range is seen.)
Hoopla: Man, I hate when my maid disintegrates into nothingness.
(Laugh track)
Hoopla: (looking around) I’m gonna miss this place. So many things happened here. When I was exploring the hotel…when I convinced the hotel manager to let me move in here…that time my pillow was stolen…my existential crises…stalkers…government raids…when the place collapsed…ah, memories. But I guess with a new place comes new memories. Maybe ones with less chaos.
(Hoopla packs up his things and heads downstairs.)
Hoopla: Checking out.
Hotel manager: Goodbye, sir! I wish you well!
Hoopla: Yeah, sure.
Hotel manager: No no, I mean it! Manager’s promise!
Hoopla: Well okay then.
(Hoopla leaves)
Hotel manager: I didn't mean it. (smirks, then counts today’s money he had earned) Big stacks! (he sniffs the money)
Hotel employee: Sir I think you should just move onto drugs at this point.
Hotel manager: SHUT IT!
Hoopla: Alright. It’s house hunting time! Maybe I should've looked for a house before checking out… (shrugs) I'm sure it'll work out.
(Cut to Hoopla in the sand on the beach)
Hoopla: Hey, this house isn’t that bad!
(The waves wash the sand away)
Hoopla: Oh who am I kidding. I have no idea where to look for houses. I don’t even know how to buy them! I’m gonna need help.
(At Doclement’s lab)
Hoopla: Hey Doc, will ya help-
Doclement: (furiously researching in a dark corner) No.
Hoopla: Oh. I wonder what he’s doing. Well then…
(At Simon’s lab)
Hoopla: Simon, can ya help-
Simon: (also furiously working, this time in a bright corner) No.
Hoopla: Welp. I’ve run outta options. I don’t know anyone else smart enough to help me…wait…
(At Carl’s house)
Hoopla: (knocking on the door) Oh gee.
Carl: (opens door) Heyo Boopl- wait… Hoopla?! You’re actually visiting me for once!
Hoopla: Let’s get this over with. May ya help me? I know from your experience running Krabby O’ Mondays you’re not the…uh…brightest really…
Carl: I’ve changed since then! Or have I…uh…
Hoopla: But, considering the other options I have left, you’re the only one who’s smart enough to help.
Carl: Uh oh. Is there another villain running amok? Finally, I’ll get to be as big of a hero as you are-
Hoopla: I need help buying a house.
Carl: Oh.
Hoopla: You’ve had some business experience so I know you (intently) should hopefully be able to help me with house business. Doclement and Simon and busy doing their things, I know Boopla doesn’t run the business side of his company, Alpooh is currently running from his fans somewhere, and Tony is, well, Tony.
Carl: (sigh) Well, I don’t have much going on anyway these days. Come on in, we’ll look online for a house.
Hoopla: I thought we were gonna go house hunting! Like in real life! Touching grass and stuff.
Carl: We don’t do that anymore. Too hard. You’re not gonna walk down the street and luckily find a house for sale. We have to do interneting.
Hoopla: Fine.
(They enter Carl’s house, Hoopla immediately slumps down on the couch.)
Hoopla: You go do that. I’m not gonna be of any help.
(Hoopla turns the TV on, and suddenly, after some static, a low quality advertisement starts playing.)
Advert: (bzzzt) Are you looking for a brand new home?
Hoopla: Would you look at that. I luckily found a house for sale.
Carl: Awh, nothing ever goes my way.
Advert: (brrrt) Down by the beach, if you have the money, you can buy this beautiful beach house for only 100,000 dollars.
Hoopla: Woah… it’s pretty…
Advert: (blllllzzz) Come on down to the beach, speak to me (480p stock image of handsome man appears on screen), and I’ll lead you down to it! It’ll be the- (stutter) best (brrringgg) business decision of your- li- life! (plplpllpffff) 
(The TV glass breaks)
Hoopla: We gotta get that house! I have to admit however, they really need a higher budget.
Carl: How could they even afford the house in the first place?
Hoopla: Idc it pretty om buy
Carl: Well it’s your house, so I guess I don’t really have a choice here.
Hoopla: Indeed. Let’s go there now!
Carl: (shrugs) Alright.
Narrator: One trip to the beach house later…
Hoopla: At long last, we’re here!
Carl: Hoopla, it only took us like five minutes by car to get here.
Hoopla: Riiiight. Anyway… just look at her. (pops tongue) Gorgeous.
Carl: …what are we looking at again?
Hoopla: The house I’m gonna buy.
(Establishing shot of the beach house. One of the window frames falls down onto the floor. A tear falls from Hoopla’s eye.)
Hoopla: …it’s gorgeous.
Carl: Um… Hoop? Are you sure you want this one? It seems a bit… weird.
Hoopla: Trust me, Carl, I’m a bit of an expert at real estate. And THIS is the one.
Carl: You haven’t even looked inside it yet…
(Hoopla signals towards the house’s entrance.)
Hoopla: Well, shall we?
Carl: I guess.
(Hoopla opens the door, and the two of them walk inside. Immediately, they see the table doing the Macarena)
Carl: WHAT THE HELL?! Hoopla, this is NOT a normal beach house!
Hoopla: Honestly this just sweetens the deal. You go outside and finish those business exchanges. I’m gonna get settled in.
(Hoopla shoves Carl outside and slams the door.)
Hoopla: Ah, new home sweet new home. I think I'm gonna love this place.
(A realtor shows up out of nowhere in ragged clothing)
Realtor: Finally! Ahem, I mean, welcome good sir. Would you like me to show you around?
Hoopla: Would I!
Realtor: So right now we are in the living room-
Hoopla: Sold!
Realtor: (shrugs) Alright then. Just gimme the cash and the house is yours.
(Hoopla gives him the money, and the realtor runs off with it, jumping for joy)
Hoopla: Something doesn't seem right with that guy. Oh well, my new beach house is mine. Carl, you can come back in!
(Carl hesitantly opens the front door, and instantly, the door starts talking)
Door: Hey there hottie, you coming here often?
(Carl screams)
Hoopla: Like I said, it sweetens the deal.
Carl: THE DOOR FLIRTED WITH ME!
Hoopla: Wish it flirted with me.
Carl: wait wut
Hoopla: Nothing!
Carl: Um- Besides, buying a house isn’t as easy as that. I have to do all the paperwork outside.
Hoopla: That sounds boring. You can do that. I'm gonna go explore my new home.
(Hoopla slams the door shut again, and he goes upstairs to a bedroom)
Hoopla: Ooh, I quite like this interior.
(The mirror in the room starts showing a reflection of Satan)
Hoopla: Huh. Weird, I don't think I look like Satan. Do I?
(Hoopla looks behind him. Nothing’s there.)
Hoopla. Hmm…this is certainly strange. Eh, Satan works at Boopla’s company, this isn’t anything to worry about.
(Hoopla turns around and suddenly the bed starts talking.)
Bed: THE VOICES! THEY’RE BACK!
Hoopla: I think that's just me.
Bed: Oh, phew, that's a relief. You should probably get outta here while you can, this place is nuts!
Hoopla: Uh…I think I’ll be sleeping on the couch.
(Hoopla walks downstairs to the den. Everything is still.)
Hoopla: …
(Hoopla slowly walks over to the kitchen.)
Hoopla: Alright, suppose that was all just a one-time thing. It’s cheerios pouring time.
(Hoopla turns to the counter and pours himself a bowl of cheerios. However, the cheerios start spilling upward towards the ceiling)
Hoopla: What in the?
(Hoopla turns back around into the den, and suddenly every single object is walking around and alive.)
Bed: WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?
Hoopla: Uhh… I think I'm starting to not like this.
(The objects start messing the place up.)
Hoopla: Oh come on!
(The floor starts moving back like a treadmill.)
Hoopla: (running) Exercise too? This just keeps getting worse. (stops running for a second and slams against the wall) Owwww…
(The faucet turns on and every room immediately starts filling up with water.)
Hoopla: No! My house! …I should really stop this before I drown.
(Hoopla starts swimming to the door as the water slowly rises.)
Hoopla: (trying to open the door) Agh! It’s locked! Where’s the off switch for this thing!?
(The rooms become anti-gravity and Hoopla starts bouncing around the place while objects swat at him, the house is almost filled with water.)
Hoopla: Welp, I guess this is turning into Hoopla Dies 2.
(Cut to Carl, who is now speaking with the manager for the real estate company)
Carl: So, my friend Hoopla saw your TV ad for this beach house, and he decided to buy it. However, it uh, seems… possessed.
Manager: Does it now?
Carl: Uh-uh. You wanna see it?
Manager: I have nothing else to do right now, so sure.
(The manager gets into his car, and Carl gets into the car with him. The manager starts driving towards the location of the beach house while Talk by Yeat starts playing. Cut back to Hoopla, who is desperately trying to find a way to open the door)
Hoopla: Come on, what does it take to open a door around here?!
(Hoopla then sees they key on top of a dining room table)
Hoopla: Finally!
(Hoopla swims over to the key, now holding his breath as the water has gone up, and grabs the key, then swims over to the front door to unlock it)
Manager: Oh, looks like he's opening the door. I think I'm gonna talk to hi-
(Hoopla opens the door, and a massive flood of water spews out)
Carl: …FLOOD!
Manager: Oh my. I think something is terribly wrong here.
Carl: You think?
Hoopla: (coughing up water) Oh my god that was terrible. Glad I’m finally out. (looks at the manager) Who are you?
Manager: I’m the manager of this real estate company. And I must say, you must be in a real pickle.
Hoopla: No kidding, it’s like the place is possessed!
Carl: I TOLD YOU IT WAS POSSESSED!
Manager: We here at Real Estate Co. take all responsibility for your possessed house. It’s a good thing I took a little witchcraft back in college. Excuse me for a moment.
(The manager brings out a spellbook, and says some random magic word)
Hoopla: …did that do anything?
Manager: (gesturing towards the house) See for yourself.
(A wide open shot of the beach house looking perfectly normal is shown)
Hoopla: Well I’ll be. You’re a wizard!
Manager: Well… a part-time wizard. But yeah. (his watch beeps) Welp, gotta move onto another client. Goodbye, and have a great daaaay! (vanishes)
Carl: That guy is weird.
Hoopla: (shrugs) I’ve seen weirder.
Carl: So…what now?
Hoopla: I have a house now. And I need to take a nap in it.
Carl: Can I nap as well?
Hoopla: …Heh, sure.
(end)
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