Novum Acies Chronicles/Despondency

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"Oracle, what's our status currently?"
The AI, Oracle made an appearance as the avatar of an Ancient Egyptian noblewoman lighted up on the holo-tank, directly in front of the Captain. She replied "Ship's hull integrity is stable. We've smoothly transitioned out of slipspace, and are headed towards Argus V. ETA, two hours."
"Very well, then. Wake up the Spartans, they deserve some free time... after their last mission."
The UNSC Ashes of Winter slowly made its way towards the planet of Argus V. Oracle saw to it that the ship was functioning safely, and checked whether there were any risks. Satisfied, she woke the Spartans who were in cryo-sleep. One by one, they exited their sleep and slowly dressed up, all while exhibiting combat fatigue, with some parts of an extreme dislike of cryosleep added.
"All Spartans, please report to the hangar bay for rechecking the roster. I repeat, all Spartans, please report to the hangar bay."
***
Deryck-D096 woke up with a start. His vision was blurred, and the first thing he could see was a red flashing light. Slowly, his vision cleared, and he realized he was in a cryo-tube. His brain finally started functioning normally and began remembering the details of his last mission. What happened, how it ended...
Deryck stopped himself. He knew it was not the best idea to think of it, not when it ended in a disaster for him. The cryo-pod's hatch hissed and opened, and out came Deryck. He saw other Daiki-D217, Riya-D396, Andra-D054, and a few others, stepping out of their cryo-pods as well. He was about to approach Riya when he heard Oracle's order through the ship's speakers.
He slowly dressed up and made his way to the hangar bay. There he saw more familiar faces, as they huddled and stood in lines, as various DIs took the Deltas' status reports. He joined a small line and entered his details. Done with their job, the DIs exited the hangar, and with them exited most of the Spartans as well, save for a few. Deryck went to a small corner and sat down. He slowly tried to control himself, but the trauma of his last mission was too much. 'Operation: DARK DESCENT', they called it. He felt the name was quite literal, regarding what happened.
He started playing the events in his mind. Covenant battlecruiser, unknown planet, in-atmosphere nuke detonation, Brute ambush, Joyce being extremely injured, HAVOK nuke inside the Covenant ship, loud explosion, quick escape... 
"No, this can't be happening!" Deryck thought, for the second time in a while, "This is too bad to be true. My team.. Joyce, Toretto,...Michelle, they can't be dead, no!" As much as he hated it, he knew it was true. Tor and Michelle were wiped out when the Brutes ambushed them inside the ship. Joyce was injured too, but he was thankfully alive. They continued inside the ship, towards the control room. Facing stiff resistance, the Spartans engaged in a bloody gunfight, ultimately ending in their favor. But a plasma bolt from the aliens' weapons messed up their HAVOK tactical nuke's remote detonation counter. Yet another snag in their mission. Their luck didn't last long this time, Deryck felt it, and he was sure the other Deltas felt the same too.
Then came a big twist; Joyce, who was already bleeding from his ears and his MJOLNIR armor heavily damaged, volunteered to stay back and detonate the nuke. If it were up to Deryck, he'd chose to do it himself, but Joyce rejected. "I'm already dead, anyway. You all need to escape this ship, quickly! I hate being in therapy for three months that won't have a good effect on me either way", Joyce's words echoed in his mind. Deryck noticed that he was losing control, his hands were shaking, and he felt a sense of dread and a sinking feeling in his heart. He saw movement in his peripheral vision and immediately turned to see Franklin-D319 approach him.
"Deryck, are you okay?", Frank asked.
Deryck looked up to see Franklin's face as if he was seeing him for the first time. Shaking his head and coming back to reality, he replied, "I-I guess..."
He saw other Spartans come near him, too; Merlin, Riya, Jardon, others as well.
Frank replied, "Deryck, I know you're feeling too bad. Our last mission, Accretion, they... I'm sorry for you Deryck."
"It's... okay. I-I-I feel so regretful right now."
Frank sat down beside him, put his hand on Deryck's shoulders, and said, "As much as I hate to say this, and as bad as this sounds, Deryck, you need to move on now. Accretion.. your team is gone now. You need to forget them. Their deaths are very crucial to you, but to ONI, they're just... casualties."
For some reason, Deryck felt a lot of rage and anger inside himself and suddenly burst out, much to the surprise of everyone around him.
"They were not just some casualties!"
Hearing this, Frank startled and jumped aside, as a reflex action to Deryck's sudden outburst. Deryck stood up and angrily shouted, his voice full of rage.
"They were my teammates, my family! The only ones I've cared for so much ever since I... ever since I signed up for this shit! That goddamn Johnson, he tricked my mind into joining Delta Company, abandoning my brother on Emerald Cove!"
"Deryck, I-"
"I had a whole month to think, and I chose this? I'm pretty sure even if I rejected, they'd kidnap me and take me to Argus. I trusted the Captain to give me a new family, one that'd stay with me, not like my father, or even my mother! First I was in Hadron, but then I was shifted to Accretion. And then, I treated them as my own brothers and sisters, valuing their lives more than my own. But yesterday, when they... I should've stayed back instead of Joyce. Atleast I wouldn't be going through this emotional shit right now!"
Merlin interrupted him and spoke, with a strong voice, "Calm down Deryck! I know you feel very regretful about joining Delta, but that's not the thing here. You feel guilty that you're teammates died, I understand."
Deryck slowly calmed down, ashamed of himself, and surprised at Merlin's correct analysis of his thoughts. He looked around, to see Andra at a distance, quietly observing the situation.
"I-I'm sorry. I'll calm down. It's just that I-I...", Deryck's voice cracked. "I-I can't control myself, nor can I accept the fact that my team is no more."
Riya, who was watching the entire scene unfold standing behind Merlin, came to Deryck and put her palm on his right shoulder. "I'm still here for you. We all are still here for you, Deryck. We're your family as well. I'll admit, I can't seem to accept the reality that I face now, but I've managed to conceal myself. Atleast, so far. But know this, we all are there for you. We're your family, Delta is your family."
"O-okay. But..."
Merlin interrupted him for the second time, but this time Deryck wasn't suddenly-angered with his move and said "No buts. We are all family. If we're supposed to regret choosing for this, then we do that together."
Riya added, "Johnson did tell us of the 'risks and sacrifices' we'd face, it's just that, I-", she corrected herself, "we, didn't expect it'd be this way. Losing your best pals, facing the worst kind of injuries... I think there was something for all us to mourn regarding yesterday." she stopped and added, "I guess it's just too late to back out now, anyway. We're stuck in this mess together, and the together part matters."
Deryck halted and started thinking about those last separated lines of Riya. Remembering how Daiki went missing during yesterday's events, he sternly looked at her and said, "Is that really true, however? Too late to back out?"
***