The Flag Factor

The Flag Factor is an episode from The Amazing World of Squidward. In this episode, The Coronas' members audition for choosing the flag of the cult.
== Characters ==
* Squidward
* Squilvia
* Junior
* Harold
* Anchovy
* Con man
* Floyd
* Lloyd
* SpongeBob
* Fred
* French Narrator
*Shubie
* Bubble Bass
* Tom
* Hoopla
* Dr. Gill Gilliam
* Old Man Jenkins (mentioned)
* Random background character
* More people
== Transcript ==
Squidward: *talks into a microphone, with Squilvia on his right and Junior on his left* Hello, The Coronas, the auditions for the flag of this beautiful kingdom are starting, so please fight each other, making sure to make social contact, for who will audition *COUGH* first. *we hear a lot of fighting*
Harold: *crawls into the room* Hello, my flag is clearly better than all the rest, as you will see *COUGH* now: *pulls out a white flag with “HUMANS SUCK!” written on it*
Squidward: Are you serious? A flag with words? Really? A flag isn’t meant to be read, idiot! Next! *COUGH*
Harold: WHAT THE HELL? HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THAT! MARK MY WORDS, I *COUGH* WILL-
Squidward: *presses a red button, which throws Harold out of the window* Ha, stupid fish with anger problems, you don’t mess with *COUGH* me! I am his ruler, I own his soul, I transformed Bikini Bottom into a cult! I-oops.
Anchovy: …………..Meep? *gets thrown out of the window*
Squidward: Good job guys! Don’t stop me when someone comes here while i’m talking about this being a cult or anything! Greeeeeeaaat! Jesus Christ…..*COUGH*……..next……..
Con man: Hello, my name is Conan Manford, and i made a pretty *COUGH* great flag; HOWEVER, in order to see it, you will have to give me a certain amount of money. And if you choose it as the flag of the kingdom, which you will as it is the best flag, you will have to give me an even BIGGER *cough* amount of money. Deal?
Squidward: No deal. *presses the red button* Jesus Christ, *COUGH* people will do everything for money these days. Next!
Floyd: Howdy!
Lloyd: Howdy!
Floyd and Lloyd: WE HAVE THE *COUGH* BEST FLAG EVER! *they take out Nepal’s flag*
Floyd: It’s very different from other flags!
Lloyd: And that makes it *COUGH* good!
Squidward: ……That’s just Nepal’s flag.
Floyd: CRAP LLOYD! WE’RE *COUGH* BUSTED!
Lloyd: SAYONARA!
Floyd and Lloyd: *they run away* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Squidward: Lazy babboons. Next! *COUGH*
SpongeBob: *goes in the room*
Squilvia: Squidward, do i really have to be *COUGH* here?
Squidward: What do you *COUGH* mean?
Squilvia: I mean i’m not doing anything while you throw people out of the window or make them *COUGH* run!
SpongeBob: Emh….
Squidward: Well then, i’ll make you do something! *gets up, grabs Squilvia, throws her in SpongeBob’s face, and presses the red button*
SpongeBob and Squilvia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Squidward: Haha! *COUGH*
Junior: Dad, you just threw that sponge out of the *COUGH* window!
Squidward: I blame *COUGH* Squilvia! Besides, he was probably just a nobody who thought he could *COUGH* make a good flag! Next!
Fred: Hello oh Great Master Lord *COUGH* Squidward! Here is my flag: *takes out a wet floor sign*
Squidward: That’s a-
Fred: Yes, i know, it’s a wet floor *COUGH* sign. Well i find it appropiate for this place; you see, *COUGH* i slipped so many times today, MY LEG *COUGH* now has PTSD.
Squidward: Fred, Fred, Fred. *COUGH* We have met many times in the past, and they didn’t end too well. But i know you well enough to say this: your leg has been crushed, shot, stabbed, roasted, cut,
French Narrator: Two milleniums later....
Squidward: blown up, AND eaten. So please, don’t complain about your leg *COUGH* slipping, because if you do, your leg is gonna get thrown out of a window! *presses the red button*
Fred: MY LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG!
Squidward: *COUGH* Oh, that felt goooood. Next!
Shubie Peterson: My flag sends a very *COUGH* important message: *takes out a huge flag with a wall of text about Shubie’s car keys* please do not steal car keys, *COUGH* please. One day, someone stole them from me; i don’t know who, i don’t know when, but it hurt me deep inside. I miss hugging them, i miss kissing *COUGH*them, i miss feeding them. So please, if you don’t want people to feel like i do, don’t steal *COUGH* car keys. …………………*gets thrown out of the window*
Squidward: A FLAG SHOULDN’T HAVE WORDS! *COUGH* Next!
Bubble Bass: *COUGH* This is my beautiful flag: *takes out a beautiful, artistic flag*
Junior: Wow, nice work!
Squidward: *presses red button* We can’t have a flag made by a fat nerdy loser! Next!
Tom: Hello Supreme Lord Squidward, this is my flag: *takes out a flag made out of chocolate* WHAT THE *COUGH*? THIS ISN’T MY FLAG! WHO THE *COUGH* DID THIS TO ME?! THIS FLAG IS MADE OUT OF CHOCOLATE! ......*COUGH*........CHOCOLATE?! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! *starts running around in circles* CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATE! *gets thrown out of the window*
Squidward: What is happpening to these people today?
Junior: Well to be fair, you did tell them to fight each other.
Squidward: Do you want to get thrown out of the window too? Next!
Hoopla: *comes in, eating chocolate* Hey Pinocchio, how’s this for a flag? *takes out a banner of Hoopla’s Superb Beach, an original show made by him, and throws it into Squidward’s face* Hehe! *COUGH* Bye bye! *runs away*
Squidward: YOU LITTLE *COUGH*! *chases him* COME BACK HEEEEEEERE! *goes off-screen* NEXT!
Junior: Wait what?!
Dr. Gill Gilliam: Erm, hello. I’m not here for the audition, i’m just here to say Old Man Jenkins has died from *COUGH* the virus.
Junior: ...............................
Squidward: *comes back* Huff, huff..........oh god..........that little pest.........so fast...........he escaped my tentacles..........*COUGH*............Dr. Gill Gilliam?
Dr. Gill Gilliam: Sir, Old Man Jenkins has *COUGH* died from the virus.
Squidward: From the virus? Doc, we already *COUGH* talked about this! People cannot die from the virus!
Dr. Gill Gilliam: But….
Squidward: No *COUGH* buts! Take the body here so i can *COUGH* throw it out of the window and no one will suspect anything!
Dr. Gill Gilliam: ……………..*COUGH*…………..
Junior: Dad, what the *COUGH* hell?
Squidward: Erm.........bury him?
Dr. Gill Gilliam: Ok.............
Squidward: Don’t write anything about *COUGH* the reason he died on the grave!
Dr. Gill Gilliam: .................Sure...........*COUGH*..............*walks out of the room*
*bubble transition, Squidward, Junior, and the cult’s members (except those that were yeeted out of the window, those who escaped, and Dr. Gill Gilliam) are all in the room*
Squidward: Ok, i’ll just get to the point: TODAY WAS A DISASTER! You either made some terrible *COUGH* flags, or didn’t make a *COUGH* flag at all!
A random background character: I don’t think any of us auditioned.
Squidward: That’s because those who auditioned either ran away or *COUGH* got th-THROWED THEMSELVES OUT OF THE *COUGH* WINDOW! So crazy!
Junior: So, no *COUGH* flag?
Squidward: Well........*COUGH*..........i myself made a flag which i had *COUGH* prepared since these auditions started.
Literally everyone else: *GASP*
Squidward: The reason i made you *COUGH* people audition, was to see if you knew me well enough to make the flag i *COUGH* wanted! Evidently, you don’t know me well enough, as the *COUGH* flag i made was this: *takes out a red flag with his face in the middle* was it really that hard to make a *COUGH* flag like this? Because of this, tomorrow, you will *COUGH* have to watch a tape i’ll make saying EVERYTHING about me, at least *COUGH* 20 times.
Dr. Gill Gilliam: *goes in the room* Erm, Boss, you know......*COUGH*............
Squidward: .............*COUGH*:.............OH! Erm, Old Man Jenkins has died, and we don’t *COUGH* know why! His grave’s in the cult’s garden, go *COUGH* see it!
*Dr. Gill Gilliam and the background characters go out of the room*
Junior: *gets up, but is stopped by Squidward*
Squidward: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, you stay right here young *COUGH* man!
Junior: Ugh..............*COUGH*................hey, where do the people thrown out of the window land?
Squidward: I don’t know, you’d have to ask *COUGH* who built this place.
*dramatically cuts to an island where the people yeeted out of the window are, and then dramatically cuts to the cult again, and then to the ducts of the cult where Hoopla, Floyd, and Lloyd are*
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