Hall Chimney/transcript

Previous Episode: Powerful Superhero Leni
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: October 17, 2009
Episode Copyrighted: 2009
This episode is rated TV-PG-LV.
*Episode starts*
In the elementary school cafeteria, Lana and Lola were eating their lunch.
Lana Loud: Hey, Lola, want a bite of my mud pie?
Lola Loud: Uh, no thanks.
Lizzie the Flower: *offscreen* Lola, hi there.
Lola looks to see a flower girl with pink petals.
Lola Loud: Lizzie, hi there. Come join us.
Lizzie the Flower: Okay, thank you.
The two sat parallel to Lana and Lola.
Lana Loud: Hi, my name's Lana, who are you?
Lizzie the Flower: My name is Lizzie the Flower.
Lola Loud: Nice to meet you.
Lana Loud: So, how do you and Lola know each other?
Lola Loud: Lizzie's a beautiful flower in beauty pageants. I can't recall not seeing her in one held in town.
Lizzie the Flower: We're always competing in beauty pageants and I always come in third, right under Lindsey Sweetwater.
Lana Loud: You're not too upset about that?
Lizzie the Flower: Oh no, not at all. Third place is still better than nothing.
Lola Loud: Well, I'm glad that you're a good sport about it.
Lizzie the Flower: Yes, yes I am. Well, I must be going. I'll see you at the next beauty pageant, Lola.
Lizzie walks away while Lana and Lola stay.
Lana Loud: She's surprisingly a beautiful flower friendly with you, considering you barely have a good relationship with Lindsey Sweetwater.
Lola Loud: That surprises me, too. But hey, if we can get along, why question it?
Lana Loud: Eh, I guess so. Hey, are you gonna eat that tot?
Lola Loud: Nah, you can have it.
Lana Loud: You heard her, Hops, bon appetit.
Lana took off her cap to reveal Hops, who threw out his tongue to grab the tater tot, leaving Lola with a surprised look on her face. The next day, Lola had gotten ready for her next beauty pageant with Lana standing by her.
Lola Loud: Thanks for agreeing to come support me in my beauty pageant today, Lana.
Lana Loud: Hey, for a personal kiddie pool full of mud, thank you.
They came into Lincoln's room, where Lincoln was packing up his backpack with SpongeBob.
Lola Loud: Lincoln, are you coming to my beauty pageant, today?
Lincoln Loud: I can't, I have important business to attend to!
Lola Loud: What could be more important than watching me win a beauty pageant?
Lincoln Loud: Clyde and I are heading out there to see if we can find it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick and I are going Jellyfishing.
Yellow Rectangle: Hey, guys.
Lana Loud: It's him. What can you expect, he watches a show about ghost hunting.
Lincoln Loud: This could be my one and only chance to see if the missing link is real or not and I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Lola Loud: Lincoln, are you sure you'd rather spend days looking for some big hairy beast than come support me?
Yellow Rectangle: Hey guys, Lola said we're going beauty pageant!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yes!
Lincoln Loud: Yellow, where is he?
Yellow Rectangle: He'll be here. You should win a beauty pageant.
Lincoln Loud: Yes, Yellow. I expect.
Slide transition to Mrs. Puff driving down the road with an award box in the back of her boat.
Mrs. Puff: Unlike SpongeBob, Gary is a true driver much more worth my time and much more deserving of an award!
Mrs. Puff pulls up outside SpongeBob's house. She begins casually walking up to the front door steps until suddenly hearing something. She turns and sees Spongebob strolling down the road coming home from the dentist.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I’m ready! I’m ready!
Mrs. Puff: Oh no! I can not let this simple minded moron see me at his house! I’m still recovering from that Lighthouse incident!
Mrs. Puff scales around to the back of the house but then hears this.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *offscreen* Uh oh, I forgot my front door keys, good thing I have my back door ones!
Mrs. Puff: Fishpaste! *tries to get into the basement doors on the side*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *offscreen* Actually lets see how my laundry is holding up first. To the Basement!
Mrs. Puff: No!!!
Mrs. Puff then spots the chimney and has no choice but to scale up to the roof and Spongebob does not notice her. She looks down into the chimney and sees an opening right into the living room.
Mrs. Puff: Jackpot!
She crawls onto the chimney ledge and then gets in but gets stuck before she can fall into the not yet lit fire pit.
Mrs. Puff: Oh come on!
Mrs. Puff begins saying a lot of unintelligible words which could resemble swears. Squidward lounges on a chair outside in his back lawn. He notices Mrs. Puff struggling and waving her fins around at the chimney through his sunray reflector. He gets initially concerned before not caring.
Squidward Tentacles: Is everybody in this town a braindead moron?
Lola Loud: Where is SpongeBob?
Squidward Tentacles: *continues my activity*
Slide transition to the Loud House.
Lincoln Loud: When it comes to your pageants, there's just no excitement with you winning all the time. Besides, I'll be home before it gets too dark.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. That should be Clyde.
Lincoln went down stairs and answered the door to find Clyde.
Clyde McBride: Hey, Lincoln, you ready?
Lincoln Loud: You bet.
Lincoln and Clyde came out of the house while the twins followed. The boys came into a van with SpongeBob at the driver's seat.
Lana Loud: SpongeBob? You're going with them?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Somebody's gotta be sure they stay safe out in the woods. Besides, I'd like to see if this legend is true, too.
SpongeBob drove off while the twins watched them go. Little did they know, they were being watched by Yellow the insane.
Yellow Rectangle: *laughs* Good, they're falling for that phony Bigfoot sighting we setup.
Lana and Lola had come to the pageant, where all the other contestants were getting ready.
Lana Loud: I'm surprised there's a packed audience here. I wouldn't think a lot of people would be interested.
Lizzie the Flower: Lola, how nice to see you.
Lana and Lola looked to find Paddy and Penny, who was wearing a princess gown version of her sundress.
Lola Loud: Hey, Lizzie, are you ready for the pageant?
Lizzie the Flower: Ready as ever.
Lana Loud: Hey, Holly, come to support Lizzie?
Holly Hollerphone: No, I just wanted to be sure she got here safely. I've got other things I need to do. *leaves*
Lana Loud: Well, I definitely cleared my schedule to be here. Break a leg, Lola.
Lana left for the seats, leaving Lola alone with Lizzie.
Lola Loud: So, we've got at least ten minutes before the pageant starts, wanna go apply makeup together?
Lizzie the Flower: Sure.
Lola and Lizzie walked off to prepare.
Time card reading: "Meanwhile"
French Narrator: Meanwhile.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Puff continues staring out in the landscape still stuck in the chimney.
Mrs. Puff: Why has my life come to this? Why?!!
Suddenly she spots Mr. Krabs walking by whistling and walking a bag of coins attached with a leash.
Mrs. Puff: Eugene! Eugene!!
Mr. Krabs: *stops my whistling* Did somebody say me name?
Mrs. Puff: EUGENE!!! *glances over and notices his Poppy Puff stuck in SpongeBob's chimney.
Mr. Krabs: Curvy Cutie! What happened to ye?!
Mrs. Puff: I was on my way to SpongeBob's to award his pet snail for excellent performance behind the wheel but I had to avoid SpongeBob, and yeah it's a long story.
Mr. Krabs: So? Why are you stuck in a chimney?
Mrs. Puff: Just please get me out!
Mr. Krabs: Ok! Okay! No problem darlin! Do you have a dollar for me to collect uh I mean, give to the fire department?
Mrs. Puff: Uh no, I just paid my bills two days ago. I’m broke.
Mr. Krabs: Oh…. well uh….
Mrs. Puff: Well uh what?
Mr. Krabs stares at her before running away since she does not have money to give to him for her release. He drags his bag of coins along the way.
Mrs. Puff: EUGENE! NO! Ughhhhh!! Tightwad!
Yellow Rectangle: Wait, Mrs. Puff. You can't do that to him, That sponge is my buddy.
Mrs. Puff: Yellow?!
Time card reading: "Meanwhile"
French Narrator: Meanwhile.
Meanwhile, back at the pageant, Lola and Lizzie were applying her makeup.
Lizzie the Flower: I see you take your appearance with pride.
Lola Loud: Gotta look good when I win, you know.
Lizzie the Flower: You know, Lola, you seem to have won so many pageants, have you ever considered retiring?
Lola Loud: Retire? Why should I retire when I've got something good going for me?
Lizzie the Flower: Well, it's just that you always enter and win every pageant the town holds. I don't think any other girl our age can say they ever won a beauty pageant. Not with you in it, anyway. Haven't you ever thought about how the other girls feel about losing to you all the time?
Lola Loud: Hmm, never came to mind. Though, I feel like I'm a good challenge for the other competitors. Like I'm giving them more and more determination the more they lose. On that thought, I don't think winning all the time is necessarily a bad thing.
Lizzie the Flower: Well, I guess if that's how you feel about it, then I guess your mind is set.
Announcer: All contestants, report to the stage and line up.
Lola Loud: Sounds like the show is starting.
Lizzie the Flower: I'd say good luck, but I don't think that'll be needed.
Lola Loud: Thank you, see you at the front of the stage.
Lola walked away with Lizzie following. Lana was sitting in the front row as the show was starting.
Host: Welcome to this year's Little Miss Wonderful beauty pageant.
A spotlight shined on the contestants as they started to come to the stage and greet the audience and returned, one at a time, while Lola was looking around as if something was a miss.
Lola Loud: Huh, that's odd, where's Lindsey Sweetwater? I've never been in a pageant without her.
Lizzie the Flower: Maybe she's sick or something.
Lola Loud: Well, it seems like you won't be settling for third place this time. *walks off to the front of the stage*
Lizzie the Flower: No, I won't.
Lola had come to the front of the stage and gave a curtsy. She then started to return to the lineup when a spotlight landed an inch in front of her, shocking her and the audience. Lola started panicking as she ran off to the backstager. Concerned, Lana ran to the backstage and came to Lola.
Lana Loud: Lola, are you okay?
Lola Loud: I could've been hit by that spotlight!
Lana Loud: Well, it missed and you can still compete.
Lola Loud: I don't know, Lana, someone might have it in for me. I feel like I should just forfeit and get out of here!
Lana Loud: Don't talk like that, Lola, you're no quitter! You're not the kind of person to give up just because of a mishap like that!
Lola Loud: You're right, I'm not gonna let a little thing like that get the better of me. I'm gonna go back there and give it my all! Thanks, Lana.
Lola returned to the stage as Lana turned her attention to the catwalks.
Lana Loud: On the other hand, there just might be some dirty business going on here and not the good kind. I better get up there and find out who's behind this.
Lizzie the Flower: I'm listening.
Lana climbed up the ladder to the catwalks. Back in the woods, Lincoln and Yellow were looking at something by a tree.
Lincoln Loud: You think Mrs. Puff left this?
Yellow Rectangle: That looks more like Mr. Krabs.
Clyde McBride: Hey, guys, check this out.
Lincoln and Yellow came to Clyde to find a large, wooden chest.
Yellow Rectangle: What do you suppose is in it?
SpongeBob and Red joined them.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *tries to open it* Well, whatever's in it, it's locked.
Red Rectangle: Not if I can help it.
He pulled out a small device out of his pocket.
Red Rectangle: What's wrong with it. I can't get it open.
Red Rectangle brought the device to the keyhole and began to operate it.
Clyde McBride: Is Red an inventor?
Yellow Rectangle: Yes he is, he likes to make make nifty little...
He paused for a second as he waved his hand in circles.
Yellow Rectangle: Machines and tinker with them on his spare time.
Lincoln Loud: Are you okay? You seemed like you were struggling with something there.
Red Rectangle: Yellow is autistic, he has trouble with speech now and again.
Yellow Rectangle: I want to use one word and I suddenly, out of nowhere, want to use another.
The sound of the lock opening is heard.
Red Rectangle: Bingo, it's open. Now, let's see what's inside.
Red opened the chest and everyone was shocked to find a little girl inside. Lincoln recognized the girl as Lindsey Sweetwater.
Lincoln Loud: Lindsey Sweetwater?
Clyde McBride: Isn't she Lola's pageant rival? You don't think Lola had anything to do with this, do you?
Lincoln Loud: She may have shown to be crazy in the past, but she wouldn't dream of leaving someone to die in the woods.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, guys.
Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, what did I tell you about cleaning the chimney.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry, Mrs. Puff.
Mrs. Puff: Wait, SpongeBob!
There was a moan as Lindsey began regaining consciousness.
Lindsey Sweetwater: Ohh... Where am I?
Lincoln Loud: Lindsey, are you okay? What happened? Who did this to you?
Lindsey Sweetwater: L-Lola…
Lincoln Loud: *shocked* What?! Lola did this to you?!
Lindsey Sweetwater: No, she's in trouble.
Lincoln became worried from what he had heard till the group heard a voice.
Woman's voice: Put you back into it, you slacker!
SpongeBob, Lincoln, Clyde and Yellow ran off with Lindsey as Red continued fighting the henchmen. Back at the pageant, Lana was walking through the catwalks, searching for the perpetrator.
Lana Loud: That jerk has to be around here somewhere.
Lana then stopped as she had found someone her height wearing a sheet with eye-holes cloaked over themself. The person brought a pair of hedge clippers to the rope holding up a sandbag and cut it. Lana watched it fall as Lola was performing a devil sticks act as the sandbag fell right beside her, shocking her once more.
Gumball Watterson: Gosh darn it. This is getting embarrassing.
Darwin Watterson: Gumball, they're gonna kill each other.
Holly Hollerphone: You know how much it hurts for me to see Lizzie disappointed every pageant that she doesn't come in first? I wanted to be sure she was the best contestant out there, if not the only.
Lana Loud: So, you're trying to kill the other contestant? That's insane!
Holly Hollerphone: What, you wouldn't do the same for Lola?
Lana Loud: I don't think she'd want me to.
Lizzie the Flower: Gumball, what are you doing?
Gumball Watterson: Hey, Lizzie. Penny is hanging out.
Penny Fitzgerald: Hey, Gumball.
Gumball Watterson: Hey, Penny.
Penny Fitzgerald: Wanna go to the mall with me?
Gumball Watterson: Okay.
Yellow Rectangle: Have fun, Gumball. I can't believe Mrs. Puff was here.
Mrs. Puff continues sulking in disappointment but then hears some voices. It is SpongeBob and Gary.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey Gary, I’m going to turn on the fireplace, before it snows tomorrow.
Gary the Snail: Meow Meow.
Mrs. Puff: Just my luck. JUST MY LUCK!!
Mrs. Puff desperately tries to escape now. SpongeBob finishes folding his laundry and is handed his lighter by Gary. He lights the firewood. The fire begins to grow in size.
Mrs. Puff: No! NO!!!
The fire is right by her legs. She puffs up in self-defense.
Mrs. Puff: NOOOOO!!!!
The fire catches her dress and her body….. bounces out.
Mrs. Puff is sent flying up the water screaming.
Mrs. Puff: This is unacceptable, SpongeBob! You're never getting a drivers license!
She flops out off the surface where Patchy and Potty are relaxing on Bikini Atoll.
Patchy the Pirate: What the hell?!
Potty the Parrot: Squawk! You’re weirder!
Yellow Rectangle: What?!
Red Rectangle: That means he's gonna fail by Mrs. Puff.
Lincoln Loud: *shocked* Not SpongeBob failed Mrs. Puff.
Red Rectangle: We gotta tell them.
Mrs. Puff descends back down through the water still screaming until landing through SpongeBob's roof and down into his living room.
Yellow Rectangle: Whoa!
SpongeBob SquarePants: My living room!
Katty the Cat: *meows*
After the dust clears up. White and Katty notice an injured and ashy Mrs. Puff with some of her gray eyelashes with small flames on them. Mrs. Puff’s outfit is reminiscent of a burned roof and she puffs back down to normal but it had to happen through farting.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Mrs. Puff?
She gets up off the rubble and smacks her star student with a ruler.
Mrs. Puff: *angrily* YOU!! YOU!!! WHAT'S GOING ON, SPONGEBOB!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ow! Mrs. Puff, what did I do?!
Mrs. Puff: All I wanted was just to award Gary for his excellent performance behind the wheel! But thanks to you! I now have to pertain to my medicaid and life insurance instead! Oh by the way, CLEAN YOUR CHIMNEY! OR DETENTION!
Yellow Rectangle: *to Mrs. Puff* Wait. It's not his fault. I'm the one who messed up and he's only trying to get his license.
Mrs. Puff: Yellow?!
Yellow Rectangle: Again, that suddenly failed his driving test that just happened to lighthouse crashed the boat. I'm so sorry, Mrs. Puff.
Mrs. Puff: *to Yellow* Don't worry, young man, I won't! *to Mr. Krabs* I think detention should do.
Mr. Krabs: *to Mrs. Puff* Followed by being fired at the Krusty Krab.
Lana Loud: So, Mrs. Puff, tell us about Yellow.
Mrs. Puff: So, it's his responsibility.
Yellow Rectangle: But, I'm a rectangular prism.
Mrs. Puff: *walks back outside with a limp*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *follows* There must be something I can do!
Mrs. Puff: Jumping off Rippers Reef will be good.
Gary the Snail: Meow?
Suddenly, the fire department rushes up and sprays Mrs. Puff with a firehose. She is no longer ashy but now a wet mess.
Mrs. Puff: Errghh!
Mr. Krabs then comes out of hiding from behind a rock, sees the fire department, and decides to take credit. He strolls up to her. Blue comes to fire boys.
Mr. Krabs: Puff Darlin, don’t worry! I totally got the fire boys here! Even if I didn’t earn me that dollar!
Mrs. Puff does not fall for his ruse and smacks Krabs across the face with his own bag of coins knocking him unconscious head first to the ground. She then heads to her car, takes out the award and hands it to Gary.
Mrs. Puff: There! Now I can go to the hospital with any dignity I have left!
Gary grabs the award and admires it for a second before thinking of something.
Later…. Mrs. Puff walks into the hospital with a wad of cash she had borrowed from her brother to pay for her medical insurance for recovery. She walks up to Gilliam.
Mrs. Puff: Here. My brother allowed me to give you this cash in my name to pay for any and all aspects of my recovery.
Gill Gilliam: *inspects the money Are you named Mrs. Poppy Puff?
Mrs. Puff: Yeah?
Gill Gilliam: *pulls out a statistics chart* According to my statistics, you have already paid your medical bill just ten minutes ago.
Mrs. Puff: What? But that's not possible. I was broke.
Gill Gilliam: Well somebody did come in and paid for you in advance, I should point that out I guess.
Mrs. Puff: Who exactly?
Gill Gilliam: Some shellback creature with a meow. Okay can I watch Fish Wars now?
Mrs. Puff ponders on who paid her bill. She then hears something hit the hospital window and looks to see Gary holding a piece of paper that says “Trophy Trade.” She correctly assumes that he traded in his trophy to pay for her bills instead of being selfish. Mrs. Puff smiles at this thought. She then spots a now conscious Mr. Krabs being wheeled down a hallway in a wheelchair.
Mr. Krabs: Nurse, I know I have a concussion, but can you please not spend my pet coins for my insurance?
Yellow Rectangle: Well, Mrs. Puff's Mom, I hope Mrs. Puff learned her lesson.
Mrs. Puff's Mom: Yes, indeed!
Gill Gilliam: I'm gonna watch it now!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Certainly.
Lincoln Loud: Well, at least the help here gets us out of here faster.
Lola Loud: Actually yes.
Mrs. Puff's Mom: Thank you, granddaughter.
*It says “THE END” Episode ends*
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