E-I-E-I-D'oh/Quotes

:Homer: What would Zorro do? (imagines Zorro getting shot by the Colonel) "ZORROOOOOOOOOOO....!"
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:Cow: (deep voice) "Tomacco"
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:Homer: Dueling at dawn. How did it ever come to this?
:Lisa: [hangs up phone] The National Weather Service says dawn is still scheduled for 6:20 tomorrow and to please stop calling.
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:Homer: (to Marge about the colonel) He's out there, isn't he?
:Marge: I'm afraid so, and his wife's with him.
:Homer: (looks at the colonel's attractive-looking wife) Growl!
:Marge: Homer!
:Homer: Hey, I'm not dead yet. (a knock is heard at the door) Oh! Oh! Save me, Marge! I saved you!
:Marge: Why don't you have the colonel's wife save you?
:Homer: Oh, Marge, that's in the past. Just let it go.
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:Homer: (to Flanders on a pay phone) Well, goodbye, my gentle neighbor. You know, I've always wanted to tell you how much..
:Phone Operator: To continue talking, please deposit 10 cents.
:Homer: Eh, screw it. (hangs up phone)
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:Bart: I'll dig an outhouse!
:Lisa: I'll weed the floor.
:Marge: I'll repress the rage I'm feeling.
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:(After the tractor falls on Homer)
:Bart: Dad!
:Homer: Go get Lassie!
:Bart: Lassie?
:Homer: I mean Lisa.
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:(When Homer arrives at the feed store to get some seeds)
:Chuck: Well, well. Look at the city slicker pulling up in his fancy German car.
:Homer: This car was made in Guatemala.
:Sneed: Well, pardon us, Mr. Gucci loafers.
:Homer: I bought these shoes from a hobo.
:Chuck: Well, la-de-da, Mr. Park Avenue manicure.
:Homer: I'm sorry, I believe in good grooming.
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:Lenny: Plutonium? Gee, Homer, isn't that kind of risky? Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not.
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:Homer: If we learned one thing from "The Amazing Colossal Man" and "Grasshopperus," it's that radiation makes stuff grow real big, real fast.
:Marge: But didn't Grasshopperus kill Chad Everett?
:Homer: Only because he tried to reason with him.
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:Chief Wiggum: I promised my son he could tip over his first cow. And I-Tomacco? 
:Homer: Yes, it's the latest craze. Try some, won't you? 
:Chief Wiggum: Go ahead, Ralphie. The stranger is offering you a treat.
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:Bart: (when Bart eats the tomato) Bleh! Tastes like cigarette butts.
:Marge: (takes the half-eaten tomato) That's odd. The outside looks like a tomato, but the inside is brown.
:Lisa: Maybe the tomato seeds crossbred with the tobacco seeds.
:Homer: Oh, great, I've got a field full of mutants.
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:Lisa: (to Homer) Tomacco? That's pretty clever, Dad. I mean, for a product that's evil and deadly.
:Homer: Aw, thanks, honey.
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:(After Ralph takes a bite of the Tomacco and spits it out)
:Ralph: Oh, Daddy, this tastes like Grandma.
:Chief Wiggum: [takes a bite, and spits it out too] Holy Moses, it does taste like Grandma!
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:Laramie Executive: (to the Simpsons) Meet the Laramie cigarette team. This is Mindy, J. P., and Emil.
:Mindy: Homer, we're in a bit of a pickle. Kids are crazy about tobacco, but the politicians won't let us sell it to them.
:Homer: Those dirty, rotten...
:Mindy: Tell me about it. But there's no law against selling kids tomacco. That little "m" is worth a lot of money to us...and to you.
:Homer: How much?
:Laramie Executive: Well, let's say a hundred ...
:Homer: (gasps)
:Laramie Executive: ... and fifty ...
:Homer: (gasps louder)
:Laramie Executive: ... million dollars.
:Homer: (excitedly) One hundred and ... (calmly) May I speak to my family for a moment?
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:(While the Simpsons are in the executive bathroom)
:Homer: Did you see the way Emil's looking at Mindy? I think something's going on there.
:Marge: Shouldn't we be talking about the $150 million offer?
:Homer: Oh, yeah, let's take it.
:Lisa: Dad, it's a tobacco company. They make billions off the suffering and death of others.
:Bart: She's right, Dad. They can afford a lot more.
:Lisa: No...
:Marge: I'm with Lisa. Let's take them to the cleaners.
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:Lisa: You're about to launch a terrible evil on the world. You've got to destroy this plant.
:Homer: I know, honey, but what can I do as an individual. I wouldn't know where to begin.
:Lisa: Just burn that plant right now and end this madness.
:Homer: I wish I could make a difference, Lisa, but I'm just one man.
:Lisa: (growls)
:Homer: I agree, but how?
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:Salesman: You're not gonna grow nothing on the Old Simpson place. That's why your daddy abandoned it.
:Homer: Oh, what do you know?
:Salesman: Yeah, I know your soil pH is up around 9,6 and you need 7,8 max.
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:Lisa: Are we really gonna live here and grow crops?
:Homer: Absolutely! This is our big chance. The Simpsons will be reborn as a bunch of gap-toothed bumpkins!
:Bart: I'll dig an outhouse!
:Lisa: I'll weed the floor!
:Marge: I'll repress the rage I'm feeling!
es:E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)/Frases