Sky Police/Quotes

:Raphael: Uh, yeah, I've got a delivery here for, uh... Clancy Wiggins.
:Chief Wiggum: Wiggins? No, no, no, it's Wiggum. Wiggins? That's not even a real name. What's a Wiggins? No, really, tell me. Wha-wha-what is that?
:Raphael: Ok, so you're not Clancy Wiggins who ordered this, uh, Skymaster X5000 Jet Pack?
:Chief Wiggum: (Chief Wiggum's lasagna drops out of his hand) Jet Pack? Of course I'm Clancy Wiggins, you idiot! (crawls over his table and signs the delivery) Chief. Clancy. Jet Pack.
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:Chief Wiggum: I'm not the police anymore. I'm the Sky Police.
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:Chief Wiggum: (sings) This is the end of Sky Police... (releases himself from the Jet Pack and falls on general Clancy Wiggins; watches the Jet Pack as it flies away) You were the wind beneath my ass.
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:Bart: God doesn't hear my prayers. If he did, I'd be at home on the couch playing video games. In a diaper.
:Homer: Oh, God gets your prayers, but he just clicks "Delete" without reading them. Like e-mail updates from LinkedIn.
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:Gil: Don't worry reverend, according to your policy your church is covered for everything but acts of God.
:Reverend Lovejoy: But we believe everything that happens everywhere is an act of God.
:Gil: Then by jiminy, you're right! We're off the hook! Those Cornell men at the head office are gonna be doing the Salukis strut tonight. Go southern Illinois!
:Gil, Homer and Bart: (In unison) Salukis strut!
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:Marge: I'm leaving for my fundraising meeting. Don't wait up.
:Homer: Why are you churchos getting together so late? I'm asking because I'm supposed to care about things.
:Marge: Well, to raise money, we're... putting on a review!
:Homer: Well, you can't go wrong with reviews. Skits and songs? I'm entertained already.
:Marge: Yeah. So, uh, I'm going out to reherse. The review.
:Homer: Go. Go make magic. You just go.
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:Marge: Homer, Homer! We did it!
:Homer: What, what... what'd you do?
:Marge: We're going to save the church! I feel like celebrating! (starts kissing Homer)
:Homer: But... (looks at calendar) it's not on the calendar! Ok, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow, I get to tell everyone why!
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:Homer: Oh boy, oh boy! 1am lovin' and 2am steak? Night marriage rules! I guess nothing gets the heart pumpin' like a church review.
:Marge: Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the review.
:Homer: Oh, I got so many questions. What are the skits about?
:Marge: Uhh... pop culture and current events.
:Homer: How do you transition between scenes? Hard blackouts or spotlight fades?
:Marge: Both.
:Homer: Niiice. You know, it wouldn't be a review without songs. Tell me about one.
:Marge: Ok. There's a song about, um... how... democrats and republicans can't get along. It's called "Cats & Dogs"! (Homer glares at Marge)
:Homer: You got yourself one hell of a show, Marge! One hell of a show!
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:Agnes Skinner: Dump that money on the bed. I'm taking a Franklin bath!
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:Helen Lovejoy: Is that a woman's voice? Send her in! (Marge heaves)
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:Reverend Lovejoy: I'm sorry, Marge. Maybe your husband's suffering was all part of God's Plan.
:Marge: God's Plan?! God isn't some video gamer up there controlling us like we were Pac-Man and Dig Dug. God isn't Sky Police! God didn't do this. I lied to my husband and made my kids lie too. We did this.