Bought the Earth

"Bought the Earth" is the fifth episode of the second season of Thursday Spin-Off, and the 17th episode overall. It was written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway and first aired on April 4, 2024.
==Plot==
CrazySponge buys .
==Script==
[The episode starts in the Box Productions headquarters. A cinematic range of strings and synths are playing under the scuffling of the desk. Two stoic men in tuxedos and shades walk slowly, with every step of their boots on the rubbery floor audible. They’re holding a briefcase, yet the audience never gets a peek of what’s inside, as once they reach the desk and slam the case down, the camera swerves around to their backs, the golden light shimmering onto CEO CrazySponge’s face. Mouth agape, eyes wide open, he sits still. It can’t be real, right? Drake’s verse from ’s “” commences, with every bar correlating to an intense shot.]
Drake: [rapping; offscreen] Shout to , I’m…
[Every syllable of the next line rapped has its own shot of all three businessmen and their frankly grotesque faces.]
Drake: So con-crete…
[Cut to CrazySponge rubbing his eyes as one of the men unravels paperwork from his coat.]
Drake: Just made ten mil'…
[Again, the syllables correlate with the shots, instead we see: the man pushing the paperwork down onto the table, him snatching a pen into CrazySponge’s hand, and CrazySponge motioning towards the page.]
Drake: As we speak.
[The music is drowned out by speech. The two businessmen talk swiftly and monotonously.]
Businessman 1: Sign here, sir.
Businessman 2: No need to read the fine print.
[CrazySponge clicks the pen and signs “CS” on the paper, though we only see a close-up of the page and not any of the legalese written on it. The music cuts out.]
Businessman 2: Congratulations, sir.
Businessman 1: You just bought .
Yeat: [rapping; offscreen] I’m back again!
[The beat drops as the scene in the HQ suddenly turns from their droll meeting to a neon-lit party, full of scantily-clad women, one of which is vomiting into a businessman’s lap, another is making out with the second businessman in the corner, and the other slaps CrazySponge after he reaches for her bra strap. The music is immensely loud, and combined with the vomiting, general party chatter, drinks being chugged and their respective glasses smashed into the floor by partygoers, as well as inexplicable fireworks outside… the scene is a true cacophony. Soon enough, however, we zoom out and the song peters out alongside it, fading away as we move from the HQ to an outside view, then of the cityscape in its entirety, and then the music is a pure whisper when we finally zoom out to see a globe, slowly turning and turning, cradling at a snail’s pace, in a vast purple cosmos. Two gargantuan hands are pressed onto the continents, and pained male groaning is heard. A cash register’s beep and cha-ching! plays, seemingly pulling the trigger on the shattering of those hands and the smattering of the ethereal remains into space.]
CrazySponge: [offscreen] HOOPLA!
[The episode cuts to black and ends.]
Category:Thursday Spin-Off
Category:Episodes written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:2024 Episodes
Category:CrazySponge
Category:Dark Comedy
Category:Crime
Category:Politics
Category:Userfic