Inside the World of Keglerton

File:Inside the World of Keglerton.png
File:Inside the World of Keglerton - Act 2.png
==A small note from the author==
Writing Inside the World of Keglerton was a memorable experience for me. I'd never written such a long story on paper before, especially not without proper planning. Keglerton contains over 60k bytes of randomness, hilarity, and a hint of spiciness.
Many thanks to the HHW users who helped me create this story, as well as my coworkers and Akio, who believed in the story from the beginning when I didn't think I'd be able to write more than a single act. Furthermore, many thanks to Sassmaster15 for creating the Hypothetical Stories Wiki, where I wrote and hosted the first draft of this story. Now, enough with the talking; let's get reading!
==Act 1: Flowers in Your Head==
===Volume 1===
====Chapter 1====
It was just another ordinary day on Planet Earth. Hypercane, also known as Hype, worked as a bureaucrat on the Hypothetical Hurricanes Wiki, a site where users could create their own fictional tropical cyclones. With nothing unusual happening in the community, he was preoccupied with other matters. He was sitting in his favorite chair, which was made of plastic and painted brown and had a "Hello Kitty" engraving on the back. It also said "copyright 1998", which made Hype sad as he looked out the window of his room and saw people standing in the cold rain. But as he reflected on 1998, he realized it was a "meh" year. Instead of "copyright 1994," he preferred "copyright 1994."
He then daydreamed quietly about Moon Mist. Moon Mist, ahh. Then there was Faygo. Hypercane was having a fantastic daydream. He then focused his attention on a single poster in his room: his Minecraft sugarcane poster, which he had received from his friend from North Carolina, Bobnekaro. Bobnekaro, also known as Bob, was another HHW bureaucrat who was sitting quietly in his favorite chair, which had an NCSU engraving on the back. That chair, on the other hand, he despised. He wanted to hurl that chair at the wall and set it on fire. He only desired one thing, what he referred to as his "Level 1 Girl." Is it true that L1G existed? Nobody was sure. The HHW users were convinced that L1G was either "fake news created by HAARP and Bob's imagination" or that it was simply not seen frequently. Bob was desperate. Tears fell onto the nearby fire in his room, where his chair was now. The chair, paradoxically, was perfectly fine. Bobnekaro was not. He looked at his computer screen and quietly said to himself, "Keglerton". Keglerton never existed. It was just a fictitious location created by another bureaucrat. It confirmed his own suspicions that he was going insane. Did L1G even exist in the first place? He never found out. But his friend AkioTheOne might be able to assist him.
AkioTheOne (Akio) was yet another HHW bureaucrat. Sadly for Bobnekaro, Akio was insane. He was madly in love with Roy Cooper, Nelson Dollar, and, perhaps unexpectedly, Gretchen Whitmer. In his room, he even had a poster of all three. He even made a film about them, but it was never shown to the public. He sat quietly in his room's corner. He couldn't sit because there was no chair available. AkioTheOne was by himself. He died as a result of abandoning his EyeOfAkio identity. He then decided it was time to call it quits. "Why don't we bring back The Hurricane Hunter?" he reasoned. It was a brilliant idea. But Akio was too sluggish. The Hurricane Hunter story had been dead for 15 years. There was no way out. Certainly not. Even his friend Money Hurricane couldn't help him.
Money Hurricane (MH) was an HHW bureaucrat who was also insane, albeit to a lesser extent. He was much busier with his new server, the "Sole Village," which was a single village named Keglerton. Wait, Keglerton really did exist? Yes, it did. Or was it all a figment of Bobnekaro's mind? But Bobnekaro was insane; he had no idea it existed and had never seen it. MH was the sole occupant of "Sole Village." He was also sitting in a black-painted chair. He fantasized about how he could "own the libs," as he put it, by inviting Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker to his Minecraft server. Unfortunately, he never responded to his letters. MH was extremely dissatisfied. Garfield, his friend, might be able to help.
Garfield, another HHW bureaucrat, was an enigmatic figure. Nobody knew who Garfield was. Many people referred to him as such. Porygonal was a nickname given to him by some. Some referred to him as Oswald. Some referred to him as VileMaster. Was it true that he never existed, as some claimed? Nobody knew. This man sat in his chair, which was dated 2011 and had a Mickey Mouse engraving on the back. That irritated this user. "2011 does not deserve to be recognized as a year!" he frequently exclaimed. Why not simply omit 2011 from the list of years? It'd be a good idea. But that was just his point of view. Only a specific bureaucrat could ultimately save HHW from the ongoing chaos that disrupted everything.
StrawberryMaster (SM) was watching the entire situation unfold on his computer screen. He was completely normal, unlike the other bureaucrats. Admin GaryKJR (Gary) thought he was naturally insane, but Gary was severely addicted to Capri Sun, so no one took his comment seriously. He logged into the HHW Discord server, went to chat, and typed the following: "If we had all decided to elect me as wiki president in 2015, I would have shut down this nonsense and you kids would not be here. Sadface."
He closed Discord and decided to experience the real world, proud of what he had accomplished. He exited the room quietly but calmly and entered the outside world. But, of course, he returned briefly to retrieve his Faygo bottle, which Andrew Hussie had given him. "When is Discordgate 2.0 happening?" he exclaimed as he took one last look around his room, which had only a single chair and computer.
No response. StrawberryMaster then exited the room and began his journey to seek guidance as the Hypothetical Hurricanes Wiki burst into pandemonium.
====Chapter 2====
StrawberryMaster finally arrived at his destination: a house in northern Kentucky. Former bureaucrat Dane, also known as Birdie Sandals to SM, lived in the house. Dane was a Bernie Sanders supporter, and his room was probably covered in "Bernie 2020" posters. As the front door opened, he sat outside his cozy house, his pied-à-terre.
"SM? Is that you, sir? Come on in, I've got cookies for you..." whispered a man he recognized as Dane. He walked into the modest house and went straight to Dane's room. It was full of "Bernie 2020" posters, including a black and red chair with a Bernie Sanders engraving on the back, as he had expected. When he examined it more closely, he realized he was correct! "Poor Bernie Sanders," he mused. Fortunately, he is unaware of Dane's existence and should be safe for a few years.
"It's time to save HHW, Dane. Take your shekels, applebread, and everything else you'll need for this journey. We're going to San Francisco, and you're driving the car." he informed him.
"But... no! I need to find more Bernie memorabilia... it will be good for my collection-"
"Dane, just drive the car."
With that in mind, Dane and SM set out for FANDOM Headquarters in San Francisco, where they hoped to finally solve the problem.
Meanwhile, in the HHW Discord server...
:MysteryHunter: y'all thought I was gone after Akio killed The Hurricane Hunter yo, but this ain't right yo, so I'm here and y'all can't stop me yo, blizzity blang, yo
:Bobnekaro: Wow... MysteryHunter is real after all.
:MarioProtIV: kek MysteryHunter is real
:AkioTheOne: :O
:Hypercane: MysteryHunter is ghetto and ratchet. :whistle:
====Chapter 3====
StrawberryMaster and Dane arrived in San Francisco after a 35-hour journey. They finally entered the FANDOM Headquarters after going to a nearby flower shop and purchasing a bouquet of tulips (in Dane's case, more Bernie memorabilia, but with an extra poster with Sanders and Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren).
As he entered the reception area, SM walked up to the receptionist and casually told her that he was bringing pizza to one of the FANDOM Staff members, and she fell for it. Dane was about to go upstairs when he noticed a lovely "virtual snow machine" and became enthralled by it.""Ugh, more snow..... can't this San Diego weather get any worse?" Dane started then kicking the machine, and SM then hurried upstairs to finish his job.
Arriving on the second floor, he saw many FANDOM Staff members working or just goofing around. He then went ahead to the person he wanted to talk to. It was Brandon Rhea, which he gladly called just Brandon.
"Brandon, help me save the Hypothetical Hurricanes Wiki from complete chaos!" he pleaded.
"I'm sorry, sir, but that is most likely a local problem-" Before Brandon could finish his sentence, SM grabbed a nearby fishbot and slapped him around.
"Help, help!" he screamed. SM was then surrounded by several FANDOM Staff members who had angry expressions on their faces. He said the following when he felt threatened:
"One step closer to me, and you'll all get slapped by a fishbot today!"
They were probably scared of StrawberryMaster and fled. Brandon was left with no choice but to assist StrawberryMaster. They opened the wiki chat (because they weren't going to solve anything on the Discord server, after all) and started saving the wiki.
:Brandon Rhea: Alright everyone, I was called here to solve your problems. Why is the wiki on fire?
:StrawberryMaster: silly kids be civil
:MysteryHunter: kek is that SM?
:StrawberryMaster: THG pls, I know it's you!
:MysteryHunter: wait, how do you know that?
:StrawberryMaster: I know you well, Theggus. I know you're sad enough to know me! That and the fact that you once told me this was your account.
:MysteryHunter: oh.
SM eventually achieved his goal of rescuing HHW from chaos. He thanked Brandon and presented him with mint-flavored caviar. After another thirty-five hours, SM drove Dane back home, who had escaped unharmed. After flying back to Brazil, he arrives at his house, surprising his roommate, Gregory, whom he usually referred to as Greg.
"Oh wow, back so early?" Gregory exclaimed.
"I'm back by popular demand, honey, so step out of my way and let me celebrate with my Moon Mist and French caviar before you're the next one getting slapped by a fishbot," SM said as he placed the tulip bouquet on a nearby table. “And this is for you.”
He shrugged it off, and the two of them decided to ignore it and celebrate with Moon Mist, caviar, and, most importantly, a souvenir: the fishbot.
===Volume 2===
====Chapter 1====
The infamous Lil Stacy and Big Fester duet "Boats That I Sunk" echoed throughout the apartment. SM and Gregory were playing a random game on what SM referred to as the SBOX, which was actually just a random video from the internet playing on a TV.
"This is really depressing, Miguel Floyd de la Martinéz-Pea," Gregory said with a smirk.
"I'm sure it is, Greg—wait what?" SM responded, visibly taken aback by the statement. How did he find out about it?
"Oh, I just happen to know a little bit more than you do."
"Oh, okay," SM said, trying to change the subject.
Stunned, SM decided to pay a visit to HHWD. He went into the server after opening Discord and discovering that it was cancerized with... random nonsense in other languages. Users in chat used words like "vogonki" and "vogokni" to spam each other. TornadoGenius himself stated, "when fortec goes vogonki, I KODOLKA CHUNGUS to the point of hedleski [sic]." But what do those words even mean? What is this witchcraft? What exactly is "šamlík"? What is the connection between floppy disks and the late Slobodan Milošević? It's 2019, not the 1990s, people!
He eventually realized that chat had become cancerized once more. "This party has turned into a funeral!" he exclaimed. It meant he had to contact Dane again and decancerize the wiki. He decided to give him a small gift this time: a caravan filled with Bernie 2020 posters. Of course, it was only a pea-sized souvenir, but he would adore it.
He left their apartment yet again, but agreed to bring Gregory with him at the latter's request. As the Hypothetical Hurricanes Wiki Discord erupted into chaos, both of them fled their apartment.
====Chapter 2====
After a long journey, SM and Gregory arrived at their destination: Dane's Kentucky home. His pied-à-terre appeared to be as comfortable as the last time SM visited. "That's a great sign," he thought. Not surprisingly, the front door opened as soon as they exited the car.
"Back so soon? Come on in!" mumbled a voice that couldn't be anyone else but Dane himself. Dane welcomed them into his cozy home, where they sat on his couch while he served them tea.
"Made especially for you by Jack," he said ironically. SM laughed and recalled the days when Jack, a former junior administrator, was active. Dane and Jack were great friends who didn't deserve to be compared to ships like HypexSass and BobxL1G. If L1G existed, that is, assuming Bobnekaro was delusional.
"But what do you require?" he inquired.
"The wiki is in disarray, and we need you to help us solve it once and for all-"
"But I can't," he wailed. "I should concentrate on #worldpolitics, you know... I heard a rumor that I will be working for Bernie Sanders' presidential campaign, that my 420-69 prediction will come true, and that people will refer to me as King Dane and-"
"Dane, just drive the car."
He appeared hesitant, but agreed to do so after SM handed him the Bernie 2020 pea-sized caravan. The three were now on their way to the headquarters of Discord Inc., which happened to be in San Francisco. "I'm hoping we don't get kidnapped by FANDOM staff!" SM hoped he wouldn't have to go through another misadventure.
====Chapter 3 ====
It takes a long time to travel from Covington to San Francisco! After 35 hours, they arrived at their destination: the residential neighborhood of Potrero Hill, a prime example of gentrification. They spent the night in an inn because they were exhausted from the journey and decided to enter the building the next day after taking a closer look around the neighborhood.
SM told the receptionist that he was bringing pizza to the workers upstairs, as he had done before, and she fell for the ruse. They almost always do! Gregory remained in the reception area while assisting Dane, who was homesick and on the verge of transforming into John Egbert.
SM entered a room full of animators, developers, and other staff after going upstairs and asking for directions, and kindly announced his plan: "As much as I want to be here giving you guys pizza, I want you to know that I need your help. Take care: I have a fishbot!"
Unfortunately for him, he was escorted out of the room and back into the reception area. The gang was ordered to leave the building, and they were about to do so when... Dane began spinning and bouncing around like a pogo stick.
"Oh god, we're going to hell!" Dane smashed through the entrance, sending glass shards flying everywhere, and SM and Gregory screamed in terror. Interestingly, they were unharmed and quickly fled into the car, disappearing into San Francisco's streets. "It'd be better than spending time in jail!" SM reasoned.
They were able to flee with relative ease. That's advancement, comrade! When they realized that the Discord staff would not solve their problem, they returned to the hotel, and SM decided to solve it. He logged into the Discord server and went about his business as usual.
:StrawberryMaster: Why are we cancerizing chat with random Slovak words, people? Be less strange for once, or I'll have the Department of Justice watching all of you!
:Prism55Writes: vogonki 1997 Fiat Punto 1989 Tiananmen square attacks vogonic boys
A few hours later...
It took some time, but he was eventually able to decancerize chat. As a result, a new rule was created that limited cancerization to an acceptable level. Chat was back up and running, and he had restored the server's reputation. Well, perhaps.
The following day, the gang left the hotel as SM returned Dane to his home in Kentucky. He was exhausted and probably unwilling to contribute to any future journeys. "He'll be fine! He has snow," Gregory stated. The two then returned to their comfortable Brazilian home, where they celebrated with Moon Mist, strawberry fool, cookies, applebread, caviar, and mints. And, of course, there's the fishbot.
"Long live the fishbot!" exclaimed both.
"However, because this fishbot is so unique, I believe we should name it!" SM stated.
"Let's call her Gloria!" Gregory responded with zeal.
"That ought to work."
SM, Gregory, and their new friend, Gloria, were overjoyed, despite the fact that Gloria was an inanimate object made of plastic. HHW was once again safe... but how long will this last?
===Volume 3===
====Chapter 1====
It was just another ordinary day in Brazil. In his spacious kitchen, SM was filming the first episode of "Cooking Time with Chef Strawberry," with Gregory as the cameraman. As SM read his final line, everything was going swimmingly.
"And thank you, fellow kids, for viewing this superb guide on how to prepare a strawberry fool. I'll see you in the next Cooking Time with Chef Strawberry episode. Toodle-oo!"
"And cut! This is good footage," Gregory remarked. "But what in Peri's name does 'toodle-oo' even mean?"
"A fancy way of saying goodbye," SM replied casually.
"That explains everything. But now that it's over, come on in; I've got a surprise for you! he exclaimed ecstatically. "I was looking through your emails and discovered a new one for you."
Gregory's actions did not surprise SM, but he chose to ignore them and instead read the email. It was sent from an email address he didn't recognize at first, but after a few moments of thought, he realized who it was: Dane! He was inviting the two to join him in celebrating the 13 inches of snow he had received. He didn't think twice about it and accepted it right away. SM and Gregory then took a few moments to pack their belongings and, of course, provided their outfits.
SM was not surprised at Gregory’s actions but decided to ignore that and then took a look at the email. It was sent from an email address he did not immediately recognize, but after a few minutes of thinking, he realized who it was: Dane! He was inviting the two to celebrate the 13 inches of snow that he received. He didn’t hesitate and accepted it right away. SM and Gregory then spent a few minutes packing the things they needed, and of course, provided their outfits. Arriving in sandals in the middle of Covington and entering Dane's house (or, as SM would put it, Birdie Sandals' lair) with them would be a bad move.
Gregory opted for an all-black outfit, complete with a black sweatshirt, pants, and shoes. He was famous for dressing like a typical rebel kid who wears all blacks, but he usually failed miserably. SM, on the other hand, chose his favorite costume: a leprechaun costume! It was an old costume he had gotten from an old friend. He liked to brag that he had a lot of luck while wearing that costume, at least for 28 minutes.
After they finished, they took a bus to Rio de Janeiro (the closest city with an airport), then a flight to Pittsburgh (the closest place they could go), and then another bus to Covington, where they returned to Dane's cozy pied-à-terre. SM knocked on the door, and they heard a voice inside say, "It's open!" almost immediately. They entered the house, greeted Dane, and sat on the couch, anticipating a special meal: mint-flavored apple bread with tea from Jack.
"Dinner has been prepared for your fellow guests, Dane," an unfamiliar voice from the kitchen said. The man approached them and placed the mint-flavored apple bread on their table. SM, who was drinking tea, noticed the man in front of him and fixed his gaze on him for a moment. It was a familiar face... he recognized it.
"A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-Akio?"
====Chapter 2====
"Ahoy there!" exclaimed Akio. "Was it Felipe, your name?"
AkioTheOne, or Akio for short, was this man. The infamous HHW cookie lord (he claims he's no "illiterate Kansas beetroot", and SM agrees). "You're not what I expected you to be in real life. And who is your guest?"
"That is, indeed, my name. And this is Gregory, my friend and roommate, but I call him Greg," he explained. Gregory waved to Akio, who returned the gesture. "But tell us, where is that oven you stole from me?" SM made a witty remark.
"Ah, let's go to the kitchen and find out," he suggested. They then went into Dane's kitchen. There was nothing particularly noteworthy - everything was simple and orderly - but there was one thing that surprised SM: his oven. It was right there! SM was taken aback because he had no idea his oven was in Dane's house out of all places..
"S-S-Stephen? As he ran towards the oven, SM stuttered. He sat in front of it, his mouth open. As former bureaucrat Keranique used to say, the oven was truly magical, but he never believed in it. “Well, I'm going to take this home. He'll undoubtedly assist me in the next episode of 'Cooking Time with Chef Strawberry,' in which I bake cookies," he reasoned.
“How about we start eating the apple bread right now?” Akio stated. They all returned to the living room to celebrate by eating mint-flavored apple bread and drinking tea made by Jack, the infamous former HHW junior administrator. He was confused as to why Jack had failed to appear.
Following that, just as SM was about to tell his friends a story, two armed men burst through the door!
“This is the Covington Police Department! “Stay where you are and raise your hands!” one of the men said. The two were strikingly similar. They were taken aback, and Dane was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because he was afraid they would take his Bernie posters.
All four were dragged from the house and loaded into a van. SM and Akio cooperated, but the other two were resistant. "NO MY BERNIE POSTERS!" screamed Dane, who was clearly going insane.
"But I thought this was America?" sarcastically remarked Gregory, who was flabbergasted.
The gang was taken into custody and placed in a van. SM then heard one of the officers say to the other, "Pat, just drive the car." He acted quickly after hearing that.
"Hey, that's my catchphrase! It's copyrighted!"
Another officer stated, "You have the right to remain silent. Young child, don't be a fool!"
They were now on their way to one of the many Covington prisons. "If only Stephen knew what was going on..." SM thought, wondering if he could still save them before realizing it was literally an oven and he was going insane.
====Chapter 3====
The van drove them to a nearby police station. They were led into a small and cramped room as soon as they arrived. One of the guards, presumably Pat, informed them that they would be required to remain in the room until proper documentation was filed. As he walked out of the room, Akio became enraged and began questioning the other three.
"I want all of you to tell me what's going on!" yelled an enraged Akio.
"Isn't it a little obvious-" SM began to say before Akio cut him off.
"B*TCH, I CAN POGO STICK YOU HARDER THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE, SO ANSWER ME," he yelled, enraged at the fact that he was in jail. "First and foremost, Dane, what were you involved in?"
"I worked with StrawberryMaster," he admitted, his voice shaking. He longed for his Bernie posters.
"And you?" he inquired of Gregory. "I am StrawberryMaster's friend," he replied. Finally, he looked at SM for a few seconds before asking the same question: "And you?"
"My name is StrawberryMaster," he joked. "We recently invaded the Discord Headquarters in San Francisco, where things were quite bad, and we escaped! They must have discovered us."
Before Akio could respond, one of the officers came back into the room and decided to let them go. "We had a misunderstanding here; we were told that a group of nasty teenagers were engaging in heinous behavior, and we went to a different address than the one we were told about. Please accept our heartfelt apologies," said the man, who introduced himself as Rob.
He gladly offered the gang a ride back into Dane's house as a consolation prize. When they arrived at their destination, Dane ran to the door and entered the house, intending to ensure the safety of his posters, but he noticed two people inside: one who appeared foreign and the other who appeared quite formidable.
"sâmlik dodonz fortec keg!" exclaimed the man, his voice strangely foreign. Prism, a former junior admin of the wiki, was immediately recognized by SM. He was an odd man who was obsessed with chat cancerization. He also recognized the other one: GaryKJR, the insane former admin who was addicted to Capri Sun. Another man approached him, but he fell to the ground.
"kek, I despise meetings like this," he admitted. SM then fixed his gaze on the man's face for a few moments. He didn't recognize the person at first. "Who the hell is this blonde hippie? Is that you, Jack?” He was stunned after a brief moment of thought. It was his friend, Chap!
====Chapter 4====
Chap exclaimed, "Trist, Felipe, trist!" He was speaking Romanian, according to what SM knew. Chap had been studying Romanian for some time. What motivated him to act in this manner? Nobody was certain. "Hi, Akio! Dane, please! Who is that gentleman over there?"
SM responded, "Gregory, my roommate." After introducing himself to Prism and Gary, SM inquired about the obvious: why they had invaded Dane's home.
"But how did you three get inside? How did you three end up here?"
"Dane invited us to a party here," Gary explained after half a bottle of Capri Sun. "It's really addictive!" SM speculated. "THG was gracious enough to offer to transport us here. We all met in Norfolk, and THG drove us all the way here. We arrived in about 10 minutes. We arrived about 10 minutes ago, but there was no one there, and erm, we just kinda entered the house because THG became enraged and busted through the door."
"And where is he now?" demanded an enraged Dane, relieved that his door was still standing but outraged that his house had been invaded by TheHurricaneGod of all people. He replied, "I believe he went upstairs to play Minecraft." Dane became even more enraged and ran upstairs, most likely with the intention of making THG his new slave.
"Oh, and don't forget to open Discord, the admin election debate is starting," he said. But wait: a debate? SM didn't think there would be a debate held so soon, and immediately opened Discord and to his surprise, there was a debate just about to begin.
"Hello administration members, today we are here to watch the debate between the three candidates for administrator: Prism, Lucarius, and Roy. First, Bob has a question for you, Prism," said Hype, the wiki leader.
"Prism, some users think you are quite immature. Most of your posts are things in foreign languages or just nonsensical. Are you prepared to improve your behavior and maturity once you are an admin?"
"Of course. Errr, with cement?" he wrote. But wait a minute, didn't Odile say that in the previous debate? This would be fascinating. A pleasant sense of déjà vu. While watching the debate, the other users grabbed their phones, tablets, and laptops. In the end, there was no clear winner, despite the fact that all three candidates performed admirably.
Following that, the gang had a good time at the rest of the party. Dane ended up locking THG in the closet for 30 minutes, which caused THG to go insane. THG eventually escaped, but Dane was too exhausted to do anything. The party lasted a few hours before they all went to bed! They all went to bed after that. "I'm curious what will happen tomorrow. I'm overjoyed!" Before falling asleep, SM imagined.
====Chapter 5 ====
Today is a new day. SM, Gregory, and the group enjoyed a wonderful sleepover at Dane's place yesterday! But it was clear that it was time to return home. THG had already departed with Akio, Gary, and Prism, feeling less lonely than the day before. SM was ready to depart, taking Stephen the magical oven and Gregory with him, when Dane yelled his name.
"SM? Greg? You two aren't leaving just yet. We're heading to Raleigh since many people want to meet you! "He stated.
"But how are we going to get to Raleigh, especially with this huge oven?" Gregory stated his case. "Stephen is his name, buddy. Beware decadent pleasure-seeking!" SM quickly responded. "Okay, fine. But how are we going to get there?"
"In my garage, I have a surprise for each of you. Come along with me..." I saw an odd van while following Dane to his garage. “Does this look like a caravan? Those are... Bernie 2020 campaign posters? SM was obviously taken aback.
Surprisingly, Bernie Sanders came just behind the convoy. "Are you coming to my rally in Raleigh? It hasn't begun yet, but don't worry, my pal Dane informed me here that you want to go somewhere. Climb aboard!"
And with that, they were on their way to Raleigh. They arrived in the city after a long journey of many hours.
"This is a city of commieblocks," remarked a voice. SM glanced behind him, little alarmed, and saw Stephen, who was evidently speaking. "Stephen? You have the ability to communicate?"
"You fool, of course I can. Let us now continue on our adventure," it said, visibly irritated.
Bernie eventually abandoned the group in front of a house in a suburban Raleigh area. Dane advised SM to "give them a surprise" as soon as he walked inside the house. He came into the door in his magnificent leprechaun outfit, revealing his plans:
"I suppose I could have stayed at home and baked cookies and had teas, but I decided to fulfill my profession," he remarked, astounded the other users in the room. As he approached one of them, he concluded calmly and coldly: "to find my jew gold."
The folks in the room were taken aback and rendered speechless. "Don't be alarmed, it's Floyd. There's my buddy Gregory, that's Dane, and that oven is Stephen, my magical oven," he stated.
Bob, one of those in the room, introduced himself. After all, it was quite clear. The other was waving a Lithuanian flag, and SM recognized him right once as Giedrius. “That's progress, comrade!” Another one resembled Hypercane. Akio, Prism, and Gary were also there at the rear of what seemed to be a kitchen. And a fourth individual... Lucarius?
====Chapter 6====
“Hey, SM, do you want to read some manga? “ With a smile on his face, he said. After all, it was Lucarius.
SM responded, "I'll pass." Looking around, THG was most likely upstairs. "How about the other users?" SM pondered for a bit. He expected a larger turnout for this gathering. Yellow Flash of the Light, the basketball player dressed as a fan of spinny clouds, was nowhere to be seen. HurricaneMaker99? Those old HHW users? Yolo? Emma? Puffle? They didn't even bother inviting Fester or Rara! He thought, "This party has just turned into a funeral." “Well, whatever.”
SM decided it was time to go home after celebrating the rise of communism and enjoying another sleepover. He was tired of the trip and yet frightened by the HHW users and their antics. Bob approached him as he was about to leave and began chatting to him. "Why are you going so soon? Cooper, MH, Jnlt, and others will be arriving shortly! You can't just walk away" He said.
"I'm sorry, Billy, but I have a job to do." SM hastily stated before disappearing into Raleigh's streets. Gregory and Stephen quickly followed.
After a few hours, SM and Gregory returned to Brazil with Stephen. As they entered their house, SM bumped across Gloria, the fishbot who had assisted him greatly on prior trips to San Francisco.
"Gloria!" he said as he embraced the plastic fishbot. After such a long time away, he was relieved to be back at his comfortable house. But he had a task ahead of him: Cooking Time with Chef Strawberry, Episode 2.
He recognized it was time to stop filming the event after around two hours.
"And with that, we conclude Episode 2 of Cooking Time with Chef Strawberry. Before you go, I'd like to make a wonderful statement to some of you." Gregory, the videographer, seemed puzzled at this moment.
"We've had so many mishaps that it's apparent to me that Earth has been steadily arranging its own funeral. Even we must put a stop to it: our Discord servers have regularly been cancerized for months, years, and decades. Nobody has done anything to change it. COPPA has repeatedly been broken by wicked youngsters who persist on violating federal law. Our valued basketball, hockey, and soccer players are involved in the heinous Ponzi scheme known as Project Blurple 2.0. Isn't that a pity?"
SM exhaled deeply and continued: "We need to solve the world's issues. I have a fishbot named Gloria, and I'm not afraid to use her to solve problems around here by slapping people. And it is for this reason that I am running for President of the United States. To tackle this country's issues, we need to reach an agreement. As one, united, and free.  My courageous Americans, toodle-oo."
After a little pause, he asked Gregory, "Does this seem good?"
"I think that looks decent enough," Gregory answered.
"And, cut! Let us now savor this scrumptious applebread."
===Volume 4===
====Chapter 1====
"But this can't be the end," SM insisted. He and Gregory were bored after finishing their treasured applebread. "We need to discover something worthwhile!"
Gregory laughed. "Are you referring to the Chaos Emeralds?"
"I was thinking about Nkechinyer's Theories, but that also works," SM said. "But we need to find something good to do that isn't linked to Discordgate." Discordgate has been dead for 15 years.
"Why not simply go back to Raleigh? That party, I'm fairly sure, is still going on" questioned Gregory, who, in truth, just wanted to film rare footage of a drunk THG in order to expose him on the internet for future uses.
And with that, SM and Gregory were on their way back to Raleigh, North Carolina, well known as the city where snow never touches feet.  “Haha! That's a good joke. Kinda.” They arrived in the wonderful city where snow never falls after a few hours of travel. They arrived at the place after only a few minutes of driving. It was late at night, and there was a party going on - likely the same party.
They were delighted to be dressed in the finest attire: leprechaun outfits! "We made the decision to cease baking cookies and drinking tea because all we want is our Jew gold back," SM reasoned.
When they knocked on the door, a weird bearded man entered. SM decided to surprise him with a random fact before he could say anything:
"Did you know that "Opposite Day" causes a self-referential paradox? On Opposite Day, it could be said that 'Today is opposite day.' Therefore, it is not Opposite Day, but if you say it is a normal day it would be considered a normal day, which contradicts the fact that it has previously been stated that it is an opposite day! My source: Wikipedia."
Stunned and startled, the guy, who was really Bobnekaro, the famed HHW bureaucrat who was probably having a tantrum because he didn't receive his 69 feet of snow, stepped back and just remarked, "Wow.” The other people in the room were astounded as well. SM said, "Yes, Mario is right: I look sexy," to persuade them that he was not a casual bystander.
The other individuals ultimately became bored, so SM decided to seek a trustworthy person who would be too cool to be affected by the situation: Chapsteck4yurlipis, better known as TropicalStormChapsteck and more colloquially as Chap.
====Chapter 2====
Gregory decided to stay with Bob, likely to know him better. SM then decided to visit the second floor of the house. It was a nice, but compact corridor. There were three doors and each one led to a different room. The first door led to the bathroom; Chap wasn't there. The second door was locked, but it likely led into a bedroom. He then entered the third door, as it was the other one remaining, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
"Oh god... I'm going to hell!" SM thought as everything went black. Hours, minutes seemed to pass until he finally woke up in what appeared to be a dark room.
"Hello? Anyone there?" he asked. “Chap? Bob? Gregory? Anyone? Please?" he continued, but no one responded. A door then appeared in front of him. He entered it, and felt a bit dizzy before he saw... a debate?
"Hello administration members, today we are here to watch the debate between the three candidates for Admin: SM, Prism and Roy. SM, by the luck of the draw, you are starting. Please introduce yourself. After you are Prism and then Roy." said a familiar voice… it was Hype!
Feeling tired again, he decided to speak: "Who am I? Why am I here?" The surrounding users giggled, and Hype did not look happy. "Are you Powdered Toast Man or are you an HHW user? Be mature SM."
"Wait for a second," he said. "Seriously, what is going on? Why am I here?"
"You are in Keglerton, SM. I am Hypercane, appearing as a figment of your imagination, though you have failed to realize you died hours ago when you opened that door as you were hit by cans and cans of tuna fish. Shame."
"I am dead?" SM questioned, really intrigued.
"Of course not! You were hit by the tuna fish cans, however, and you're unconscious. It has only been 3 minutes! You'll get back there soon."
"Oh, all right. But do you know where Chap is?"
"I'm sure your friend Chap and your friend THG got stoned and decided to stay there in the bathroom. It's best to avoid them. My aura says that Peri, however, is on the first floor, and he'll be glad to help you."
"Wait, your aura? Are you Lucarius or something?"
"Maybe, silly elder. But not really, I just have special powers. You'll wake up now. Good luck and remember: you crawled up out of the mud to get where you are!" said Hype for the last time, at least SM hoped.
Afterward, SM suddenly woke up. There were several tuna cans above him, which was hardly a great experience, but it wasn't hard to push them. A bit confused, he went downstairs to find Peri and see what he could say.
====Chapter 3====
SM went downstairs, hoping to find Peri and see what he would inform him, before realizing that the first floor was dead empty. "Peri? Bob? Chap?" The room was silent. "Uhh, Powdered Toast Man? Hype?" he questioned. The room remained silent, and he started getting worried. "Where is everyone? Did they all decide to abandon me? Even Gregory? That traitor! Gloria would be so disappointed if he was here. I miss her." SM imagined.
Taking a look around, he suddenly heard a horn coming from the road outside. He looked through the window and saw... The HHW Bus? "But I thought it died? It can't be real." SM imagined as he opened the door and ran to the bus' direction, as it sped away. "Oh god, oh god," he said, desperate. "They abandoned me! Those traitors. They are fools to underestimate StrawberryMaster!" He was clueless. What could he do now? Before he could get triggered, a van stopped right in front of him. The front window opened and it was... Rob! The officer that had arrested him, Dane, Akio, and Gregory days before.
"Hop aboard, partner. We're going to catch that sneaky bus in no time," said the other officer, who was his partner, Pat. He didn't hesitate and jumped right in the back of the van, as they followed the infamous HHW Bus.
Inside the HHW bus, things were quite hectic: Cooper was in the front of the bus, searching for swimming pools using binoculars. He was sitting next to Bob, who was busy viewing "weather stuff" on Wunderground. In the back of the bus, Prism, Gary and Odile, known informally as the Vogonic Boys, were busy talking in a foreign language. Gary, being the only non-foreign user in the group, felt quite uncomfortable. In the middle, there were most HHW users: Garfield and Brick were talking about precious translations, although Brick was mostly bored. Lucarius and Giedrius were discussing "Google Maps Driving", the new sport practiced by HHW users. In the back, THG was smoking a bong. Mario was listening to Justin Bieber. Akio was eating cookies while listening to viking metal. The other users were either tired, staring at their smartphone screens or sleeping.
But who was the driver? Gregory! The man himself. Next to him was MH, who kept dabbing in front of Roy's face while screaming "SM IS OVER PARTY".
"Let's get those pedophiles!" the officers said in unison. "Yeah!” SM agreed. “Wait, pedophiles? What is this madness? Oh well, we're still going to find them."
Like Stephen the oven once told him, "Did you know that the human hand has 27 bones, not including the sesamoid bone, the number of which varies between people?".
====Chapter 4====
It sure was epic, like MH would say. SM, alongside officers Pat and Rob, were chasing the HHW Bus, filled with many HHW users, and it was our job to catch them! SM was already aware of what could happen, but decided to be patient. In the meantime, he decided to start a conversation with the officers.
"Just wondering, were you two behind the HHW bus all this time?" he asked.
While Rob was eager to catch the bus, Pat gladly answered his question. "We were!" he replied. "We were talking with the driver, which looked like a senile man, who admitted that the vehicle was not registered. Just as we were going to take him to the local police department, he entered the bus and scurried away!"
"Wow!" SM imagined. "He was likely referring to Bob, but I never imagined Bob was a senile old man!" He was not surprised about the unregistered vehicle, as Bobnekaro was full of tricks up his sleeve.
"Foolish people" he added.
After a few minutes, Rob asked SM a question.
"This is taking a while. This radio is broken, and thus we can't call for reinforcements. Any ideas?" he said.
"Oh, I have an idea!" SM searched the van and finally found what he needed: a megaphone! Using the van's windows to look at the HHW Bus, he decided to use it.
"The driver of this bus, or whatever you are, listen," he said. "Please stop right now before you will crash into that tree, burn, and fall in that lake."
In the HHW bus, the other users were too bored to care. But Gregory panicked for a moment and hastily turned to the left, coincidentally crashing into a tree in the process. There was no lake; SM only used it as a way to scare Gregory as he had an intriguing fear of lakes. The other HHW users learned the noble art of defenestration as they faceplanted the bus floor or the grass outside.
The van stopped just behind the bus, as Pat and Rob locked up all of them in jail. Except for SM, of course! In the end, he was glad the situation didn't turn out badly.
====Chapter 5====
After a few hours of cleaning up the mess that happened with the bus and a lengthy discussion on the police station with the "HHW Bus Gang" (though "Gang of Fifteen" seemed like a fine choice), SM was hungry. It was time for a special lunch! Preferably not something inside a tuna fish can. He walked for a few minutes in Downtown Raleigh until he found something unexpected: McDonald's! "Ahhh, I love the smell of unhealthy food and screaming children. Wait, do screaming children smell something? I don't know. That is a mystery!" he said, happy.
As he opened the front door, he realized the place was empty and there was a sole cashier there. He walked to him and told the cashier his order. “I want to order a salad, as I'm currently on a diet.” The cashier then stared at him. SM then realized that they were identical to each other.
"StrawberryMaster, the man himself," the mysterious clone said. "It seems you've met with a terrible fate, haven't you? Having your friends locked up in jail is not a good thing!"
"Erm..." was all SM could say.
"Remember when you fell unconscious after those tuna fish cans fell over your head? You encountered Hype, who reminded you that you crawled up out of the mud to get where you are. Maybe you didn't realize it, but the mud was Keglerton all along. Keglerton exists in your mind, SM. I’m future you. Everything that has happened since you decided to get your Faygo bottle and visit the real world was false! It's time for you to stop being silly and go back to the real world!"
"Oh my... but how do I get back?"
"It's simple: there is your fishbot, Gloria. Slap yourself around with it, and you'll see the magic happening.”
He didn't hesitate and slapped himself with that plastic fishbot. “This is torture!” After a while, he suddenly felt very uncomfortable. In front of him, a door appeared. Familiar with magical doors at this moment, he decided to enter it. Suddenly...
...he was back in his home! Oh? Wow. It was, certainly, odd. He was sitting in his fabulous chair with Discord open. However, that wasn't enough. He had to do something else:
"What is Keglerton? What happened? I was there and now I'm here? Am I high on mints? Oh my, I guess the outré gobbledygook and odd-ish tendencies from HHW have really taken control of me. Guess I'm going to live my life now. Unless..." SM said, and considered ideas for a moment.
"It's official: I'm running for president: to take "mess" out of "messy". But "y"? Because we need to solve our problems: by giving every student a free blender as a government donation. That's why you should vote for me, America." he said.
"Greg, it's time for cooking!"
==Act 2: Love on Oscar Hill==
=== Volume 1===
====Chapter 1 ====
In a small cozy home in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City as some used to say) there were two people living in it. One of them was AGirlCalledKeranique, commonly known as Keranique. She, a former HHW bureaucrat, was enjoying a vacation in Vietnam with her friend, Hing Hong Chao. Rumors said that HHC was actually US Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao, but that remained a mystery.
Both had enjoyed their fabulous vacation around the city, mostly by faceplanting on the floor and attempting to escape to avoid being captured by Vietnamese authorities. Eventually, they decided it was too much for them, and decided to go back to the United States. Not on a place, but on a yacht! The yacht belonged to StrawberryMaster, but Keranique decided to use it, and it has been in her hands ever since.
"Kerablah! It's time for us to abandon such terrible communist countries with their dreaded commieballs! Let's go back to the land of freedom. You drive the car." said Chao, expressing her fabulousness.
"God, I'm such a damsel in distress," said an annoyed Keranique. After a few minutes of Keranique driving and smashing 28 street signs in the process, they arrived at the nearby docks, taking the yacht and continuing their long journey back to America. It took a while. A long, long while. After several days of traveling to nowhere, they arrived at Norfolk, Virginia.
After a few more hours of traveling, Keranique and Chao arrived at Raleigh, North Carolina. The reason for that was because they planned to surprise Bobnekaro, HHW bureaucrat; They arrived at his home and knocked on the door. Bob opened the door and was faced with an instant hug from Hing Hong Chao, who then faceplanted on the floor.
"We're from the Secret Service, and we are taking you into custody for disturbing the peace. Just kidding, this is Keranique and that is Hing Hong Chao, my beloved friend."
"Oh hey. Come inside! We have artificial snow."
====Chapter 2====
Keranique and Chao entered Bob's beloved house, and realized Bob was really being serious. His house was freezing, which made HHC wonder if she was actually entering Antarctica instead. After a small introduction to his house, he asked them a question.
"Are you prepared to visit the snow load?" he said, smirking.
"I think we'll pass-" Keranique said before being Bob interrupted her. "Keranique pls, I'm talking about that room there."
"Oooooh!" Keranique and HHC said in unison.
The three entered the room, which was certainly freezing and full of... snow? Bob immediately dived into what appeared to be his snow load, causing Chao to be disgusted and suddenly vomit.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HATE YELLOW SNOW! WHY, WORLD, DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME???? L1G, COME BACK HOME!111" screamed Bob.
"I guess Bobnekaro is really a crazy, deranged man after all," Keranique thought. She and Chao had a plan, and they needed someone to help them, but with Bobnekaro high on nitrogen oxide and StrawberryMaster far away, they needed someone else. But who?
"Bob seems to be insane. Why don't we go and find his friend Money Hurricane instead?" Chao asked.
"That can work! But you drive the car."
Chao happily agreed. They left Bob's igloo and entered their car, a silver 1999 Toyota Corolla, as they headed to find Money Hurricane, commonly known as MH. They left the city of Raleigh and headed straight to Boston, where MH would likely be selling his missile silos, as many HHW users used to say. All of this, of course, to the sound of Keranique and Chao's favorite songs: "Boats That I Sunk", the infamous Lil Stacy song featuring well-known rapper Big Fester; and "Le Drama" from rapper "The Persecutor" Flóyd M. featuring infamous Wunderground wishcaster and aspiring rapper Young Nekaro.
====Chapter 3====
After yet another long journey, Keranique and HHC reached their destination: an isolated street in the Boston exurbs. By the time they arrived, it was 2 AM, and the street was empty save for a single car parked in the middle of the street. Inside that car, there was a person: Money Hurricane, aka MH, a HHW bureaucrat known for his shady Amazon dealings, and his top secret private business. Not even his closest HHW friends knew about it. He left the car and came to them.
"Do you want to buy some missile silos?" he said with a calm, soothing voice.
"We'll pass," Keranique said. "But we need you to help us. We're going to change America, and we need someone to guide us!"
"Nah, that's some old hag fetish. Why don't you buy this bag of nitrogen oxide instead?" He briefly opens the bag and sniffs it. "A pleasant smell, l-o-l," said MH, being high on the substance.
"I think we'll not buy anything right now, thank you," said HHC, bothered by that man's use of illegal substances.
"As you wish."
Keranique and Hing Hong Chao then went back into their car as MH disappeared into the dark, moonless night. They were extremely confused and had no idea what they were going to do now. After a few minutes of silence, HHC got an idea.
"I have a great idea! Isn't Andrew Hussie going to participate in that silly expo in NYC? We can invade it and bring our ideas into the spotlight!"
"Yes!" Keranique said in an unusually loud voice. "We're going to make change happen! But you drive the car."
"Only going to do that because of change."
And so they went into New York City, the city of skyscrapers and Wall Street lobbyists. Keranique and HHC were going to expose their ideas to the world and hoped they would not find MH the drug dealer or Bob the snow load dealer there.
====Chapter 4====
During their journey to New York City, the land of Bill de Blasio, communism, and big shiny pointy towers, also known as skyscrapers, HHC and Keranique had another discussion about what they should do next.
"We have a plan, but I think we need to do something else," said HHC.
"Like what, exactly? Search for the Chaos Emeralds?" questioned Keranique.
"Nah, that's too lame. We should visit a Bar Bara concert!" said HHC, eager as always.
"...Bar Bara?" wondered Keranique. She had no idea what HHC meant by "Bar Bara".
"Yes! Check this video here, and you'll see who Bar Bara is." HHC then handed Keranique her phone, who played a video of a woman singing.
"Hi my name is Bar Bara and I'm addicted to creating voodoo dolls. I have 536 victims so far. When I meet a new person I harvest their soul into a new doll..."
"I don't think I need to see the rest, thank you. But all right, let's go to a Bar Bara concert as well." said an annoyed Keranique.
And so they went into the Bar Bara concert in the great city of Stamford, Connecticut, also known as no-plastic bag land. For them, it was a fantastic experience. They enjoyed the last 2 hours of their lives as their souls were harvested into new dolls. At least that's what they expected.
In the end, they found out that there was no fancy concert at all. There were only 50 chairs in the area; there were over 7500 people attending the concert. HHC and Keranique were already outraged and got even more outraged when Bar Bara did not actually harvest their souls into voodoo dolls. The result was: they threw her signature blender into her face, and were promptly kicked out of the show while screaming "oh god, we're going to hell!".
Back in their car, both stared into each other again for a few seconds.
"Well... I have to say that was fun," said HHC.
"It wasn't that bad, which surprised me a bit," replied Keranique. "But did you really need to hit her in the face with her blender?"
"Of course. I'm always looking to expand my collection of "artists who had objects thrown in their faces by Hing Hong Chao”, haha" said HHC, making a reference to the last verse of Bar Bara's signature song, appropriately called "The Bar Bara Song."
"How delightful! But let's continue our journey to NYC now. I want to see our plan working perfectly."
And so they continued their journey into New York City, leaving behind that dark, moonless night in Stamford.
====Chapter 5====
After a few hours, they finally arrived at the Big Apple. It was about 8 a.m. when they arrived and decided to take great photos across the city for their Book of Fortune, Fame, and Failicias. After they were done, they meaninglessly stood at Times Square for about 30 minutes before realizing one thing: the expo had already happened!
"Dangit! We missed it by a few days. And the worst of all, our partners Roy and Garfield are no longer here!" said a desperate Keranique.
"Maybe Roy is here, but Garfield is definitely gone. However, there is one thing we can do... visit the Keggie Bar," replied HHC.
The Keggie Bar was a famous bar in the middle of New York City. With few customers inside, Hing Hong Chao and Keranique entered it and appreciated their stay there as they saw the cartoons on a nearby television.
"Suddenly, Garfield took a shot of eggnog and felt... ecstatic! "I'm feeling sOoooOOO fantastic YES THE SBOX IS HERE" he screamed before faceplanting the floor and passing out. Will Garfield the cat survive? Will Odie and Jon save him? And where the heck is Arlene and Nermal? Find that soon in the next episode of Garfield's Crazy Bar Adventures."
"Heh, I like it," said a visibly drunk HHC. "Hope Nermal falls in love with Garfield at the end so we can get a proper couple. But wait, what's that other cartoon?"
“'Introducing to you: the Will family! William, the father! Wanda, the mother! Will, the son! And Mitt, the forgotten adopted brother.”
"That's quite boring," said a mysterious voice.
"We can once again agree on something!" said an excited Keranique. She then looked at the suspect and noticed something: it wasn't HHC. It wasn't any member of the Will Family either. It was… Caleb!
Caleb was the strange former HHW chat moderator obsessed with Ariana Grande, lover of Bar Bara and friends with Will, the main star of the Will family!
"God, we're such damsels in distress," Keranique said.
Outraged, HHC then proceeded to slap Caleb with her fishbot, nicknamed Scott, as Caleb faceplanted the floor.
====Chapter 6====
Keranique was desperate. With Caleb lying unconscious on the floor and the people in the bar beginning to notice, she grabbed Hing Hong Chao's hand and immediately scurried away to their car.
"Quick!" said Keranique as she opened the car door to let HHC inside. Their car then sped away, disappearing in the streets.
After a few minutes of silence, HHC finally stepped up.
"So uh, sorry for that, I didn't want to knock him out on purpose," she said, shy.
"Don't worry about that, Chao. But this can't go on for any longer. It's time we go to Raleigh to solve this once and for all."
After a few hours of traveling, they arrived in the city of Raleigh. Another few minutes of driving and they arrived at a nearby prison. Entering it, they asked to visit a few prisoners, and their wish was granted.
"SM! Bob! Garfield! We're here to save all of you." said the two in unison.
"Yes!" screamed SM and the other HHW users.
HHC took a nearby cell key located in a nearby table and was about to open one of the cells, but then she heard a strange voice.
"Not this time!" said a man behind the two, dressed in business attire. "I'm going to buy the Hypothetical Hurricanes Wiki, and you can't stop me from doing so this time."
"Is that... Gary Hasselhoff?" asked Keranique.
"Yes, that's me. You meddling kids aren't getting far this time. Sad face." He then took out a pistol from his pocket, aimed at HHC and said:
"Time to die, Chao. Any last words?"
"Yes, I have a few last words. Do you know that the enzyme responsible for breaking down lactose is lactase, found on the wall of the intestines?" said HHC, grinning.
"Uh..."
With Hasselhoff distracted, Chao took that opportunity to shoot him in the leg!
"Ow, my leg!" screamed Gary Hasselhoff in fear. In the meantime, Keranique quickly opened the cell doors, freeing the HHW users. Hasselhoff, being surrounded and outnumbered, acquiesced to defeat.
"Now wait a moment: why am I in prison? I was in my home two seconds ago," questioned SM.
"Actually, you passed out while you were eating at McDonald's after repetitively slapping yourself with some fries. We took you here as we imagined you would be out of control, and you've woken up just now!"
"Oh."
And with that being said, the HHW users decided to leave Raleigh and return to their homes. Hing Hong Chao and Keranique both moved to New York City, while SM and Gregory returned to Brazil.
Back at their homes, SM was just about to start cooking when Gregory decided to speak with him.
"Sorry Floyd, but I have a profession to fulfill," he calmly said as he left their home and disappeared into the streets.
"But... why?"
Gary Hasselhoff had failed to purchase HHW from FANDOM and thus became a citizen of Arkansas, attempting to become the next Senator from the state in 2020.
Bobnekaro managed to escape relatively unscathed, despite the whole unregistered vehicle story with the HHW Bus. Hype returned to Ohio and returned to working at Long John Silvers for the rest of his life.
=== Volume 2===
====Chapter 1====
October 28, 10:32 AM, Staten Island, New York City.
Hing Hong Chao and Keranique were now living in a homey apartment in the heart of Staten Island after both decided that Raleigh was not the best place to throw blenders at people. This time, they were planning the best recipe of all: a strawberry fool.
"1 cup heavy cream?" said HHC, visibly irked at her friend Keranique.
"Check!" replied Keranique, looking at HHC with a smirk.
"1 teaspoon vanilla extract?"
"I don't think we have this here in our magical kitchen, Chao."
"How could this be?" responded an outraged Chao. "I thought you bought everything! Though this is fortunately optional."
"I'm sure we can do this without the vanilla extract." She grabbed a spoon and gave it to Chao. "Let's get cooking!"
Suddenly, both heard a loud noise.
"Heard that?" asked HHC, curious. Then, another mysterious loud noise.
"I heard that! Maybe they're celebrating International Animation Day?" stated Keranique, also curious about the loud noises.
"Maybe, but right now, we have a strawberry fool to prepare!"
"Yes! You go, girlfriend."
After a few minutes, they prepared the ultimate strawberry fool. StrawberryMaster would love it. Unfortunately, none of the two had seen him since the Raleigh incident, which caused Chao's credit score to drop back to 840.
After more minutes of eating, HHC felt satisfied.
"Wow, this is excellent!"
"Yeah, this is amazing!"
"I think we'll spend the entire day making recipes, Kerablah. I'm sure our beloved employee downstairs will buy everything for us." HHC soon after went downstairs, superb as always.
Keranique then thought for a few seconds. What was the noise she heard earlier? It sounded a lot like a cannon firing. Was it a gunshot? Fireworks? A crazy robot going berserk? "Lots of theories, I guess."
In the end, she was determined to find out the cause of such unnatural loud noise. Detective Keranique was about to solve this, once and for all.
====Chapter 2====
October 28, 11:04 AM, Staten Island, New York City.
Keranique left her apartment and entered the small alley next to it. The smell of trash was not the most suitable thing, she thought, but that's what she could expect.
She then noticed something that shocked her: the remains of a robot! "Wait, is that a destroyed robot?" Yep, it was a robot. A strange one, it looked. Next to it were two bullets, likely coming from a pistol. She put them in her coat and continued searching.
She examined the robot more closely and found out that there was a stamp in the back. It read "MoneyHurricane Industries, circa 2019" and she was perplexed. Was MH stalking her? Was this a gift from HHW?
She inspected the crime scene a bit more but found nothing of value. Satisfied with her findings, she was about to go back to the building and inform HHC, her superior, about the robot. As she was about to go, she heard mumbling, likely coming from someone near her. She then saw a man, talking to himself. "That damn robot!" he murmured.
Keranique was frightened but knew what she had to do.
She jumped over the man, like a wild animal! Such action caused both to faceplant the floor.
"Ouch, my back!" screamed the mysterious man. "What a charming voice" Keranique imagined.
She then had the opportunity to look at the man's face, who was visibly scared.
"Now, young man, tell me why was the robot destroyed, by you nonetheless?" Keranique confidently spoke.
"Sorry, I saw him, got scared, and struck him," said the man, who presented himself to Keranique as Braxton Stewart, a former news analyst. "I live right here in this apartment."
"So do I! You have met Chao, right?"
"Chao?" he seemed surprised. "She's inside."
Braxton and Keranique then entered his apartment, which was quite simple. However, as she looked around, HHC surprised them.
"My gah! Kerablah, look whom I found in here!"
"Wait, is that oven... Stephen?"
====Chapter 3====
October 28, 11:12 AM, Staten Island, New York City.
"Is that Stephen? The oven SM always mentioned? Wow." said a perplexed Keranique; she didn't expect the oven would be there.
"Don't be ridiculous," he said, visibly embarrassed. "I'm still 30% human."
"Let's just continue our job here, we're baking a fine apple pie." said a visibly uneasy Braxton.
HHC, Braxton, Keranique, and Stephen the oven thus resumed cooking. The final result was a magnificent pie, which would make SM proud. But speaking of SM...
October 28, 12:42 PM, somewhere in Brazil.
StrawberryMaster was in his homestead, having just finished reading a cookbook. He was bored, especially since there was nothing to do after Gregory's departure.
"My gah, I am really a damsel in distress. Akio is addicted to strange shows. Mona Spoon is far, far away. So is Keranique. Jd is gone. Baron is dead!" said SM, frustrated like usual.
He then decided to spend his precious time on the wiki; more specifically, the wiki chat. He relaxed there for minutes, reminiscing about the good old days of HHW when he had no fan club. Suddenly, one user by the name of "Forklift48" joined the chat.
:Forklift48: StrawberryMaster, we have met each other once again.
:StrawberryMaster: I'm sorry, but I don't really remember you?
:Forklift48: Ah, you will soon. A shame we didn't see each other too much back in the day.
:StrawberryMaster: I see. But who are you?
:Forklift48: I can't say.
:StrawberryMaster: Why not?
:Forklift48: Sorry mate, but the HHW administration ends here.
:StrawberryMaster: What?
:A few seconds later...
:~ Hurricane StrawberryMaster has left the chat! ~
:Forklift48: Glad to see the failicia is gone.
====Chapter 4: All Good Things Come To An End====
Alright everyone, this is the last chapter. It's over. Keglerton is dead. With a good cliffhanger, as usual. SM is fine- oh wait, that's me. I am still fine! I have decided to end the story here seeing as the momentum has quieted down and Keglerton these days is now a synonym for "cancer". Ultimately, Inside the World of Keglerton became the longest article on Stories, and maybe even the longest story on this wiki, and I always had an intention to continue.
However, as time progressed, the Keglerton brand was becoming increasingly toxic, which caused several users to not read it anymore and let to any mention on it on HHW chat to be received by memes, which was purely a collateral effect. I tried reviving it multiple times, even saying that HHW users would "disappear" in Act 2, mainly to recover some lost momentum, but I was unable to do so.
Thus, I decided it's best to end the story here. It was an amazing experience writing this story for the past 9-10 months or so, and while I don't have any intentions of creating another story, I am proud of what I accomplished here, even though Keglerton is a story filled with plot errors, infamous clichés and perhaps a lack of character emotion.
Thank you all for reading Inside the World of Keglerton.
—［ StrawberryMaster ］［ Talk | Contributions | 21:02, 27 Aug 2019 ］
Category:Fiction Stories
Category:StrawberryMaster