Whills (short story)

"Whills" is the last story of the anthology From a Certain Point of View. The story was written by Tom Angleberger.
==Plot summary==
An unidentified Whill opens with the exposition "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." A second Whill criticizes his choice of the words "far away." The first Whill asserts his authority and points out that the rest of the Whills appointed him to write the Journal. The second Whill then criticizes the vague timeframe and passive tone of the line "It is a period of civil war." The first Whill expresses exasperation that his companion is going to nitpick every sentence and opines that mentioning the exact time of day sounds stupid.
When the first Whill writes about rebel starships winning their first victory against the "evil" Galactic Empire, the second Whill asks why he is skipping over the Galactic Republic and the Clone Wars. When the second Whill suggests adding in Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala, the first Whill responds that he could make some mysterious references to them. The second Whill then suggests adding in Darth Maul, Captain Rex, Ahsoka Tano, Asajj Ventress, Cad Bane, Savage Opress, Jar Jar Binks, and the Mandalorians. The first Whill contests that he could always go back and tell their stories later. His companion protests that it is chronologically out of order, but the first Whill counters that the audience will figure things out.
When the second Whill suggests numbering the episodes with numerals, the first Whill counters that this sounds weird but promises to call the story Episode IV. The first Whill then briefly writes about the rebel spies stealing plans to the Death Star during the Battle of Scarif. When the second Whill protests the omission of Jyn Erso, Orson Callan Krennic, and K-2SO, the first Whill responds that he is going to start with R2-D2 and C-3PO. The two of them argue about who is the best droid with the first Whill defending C-3PO's role in reaching out to the Ewoks of Endor.
The second Whill dismisses the Ewoks as teddy bears. The first Whill responds by pointing out that the Ewoks are fierce warriors who are at the top of the food chain on a savage planet. The second Whill points out that Endor is a moon. The first Whill tells him to save it because they are not going in this episode. As the first Whill writes about Princess Leia Organa racing back on her starship, the second Whill criticizes him for describing Leia as a custodian. The first Whill grumbles about nitpicking, prompting the second Whill to reply that he is giving constructive criticism.
When the second Whill suggests he can do better, the first Whill tells him to write his own journal and leave him alone. The second Whill then decides to write an episode about how Chewbacca's family celebrates Life Day. Left in peace, the first Whill then returns to writing the rest of the opening crawl of Episode IV.
==Appearances==
==Notes and references==
Category:From a Certain Point of View