Professor Dickhands

Professor Dickhands was a tenured professor who taught law at a top university.  As his name suggests, Professor Dickhands has dicks for hands, dicks which apparently become hard when he is angered.  He was wrongly fired for the sexual harassment of a student named Wendy but won his unfair dismissal case with the help of his lawyer, Greta (see Episode 17).  
Soon after, Professor Dickhands met, fell in love, and then later married Dr. Vaginahands (sometimes referred to as Dr. Vaginafingers, see Episode 82).  Apparently there is ‘a little Dickhands on the way’. 
The professor subsequently dedicated his life to ‘getting different dicks out there’.  This took the form of becoming especially interested in depictions of alien phalluses on screen, culminating in the Australian TV show ‘Alien Wants a Wife’.  Dickhands and his wife were overawed at the program’s depiction of a three pronged alien dick, an event thta was described by the professor as ‘our moment’ (see Episode 82).
When asked about his relationship to Steve Manly, Professor Dickhands describes Manly and his Institute of Chodes as ‘very cliquey’.
Category:Characters
Category:Characters: Minor