LLR Observer 7

Lads and ladies, I am Gabe Seltzer (BAYBAY) and this is this week's Observer Newsletter.  Summerslam is over and fresh angles (a fresh Angle, like Jason Jordan!) and new beginnings seem to have taken the forefront at LLR. So without further ado, let's jump right into this!
THIS WEEK IN LLR
* u/danchester_united and u/IAmtheP1 formed a team called the P1s United. They joined up with u/ElPrimo_Smash to form the team called Light. Interesting idea to give these Young Lions a chance. Of course, Danchester has much more experience, having taken part in the inaugural G1 Climax and beating u/hydraloonie on the G1 Finals day.
* As we had the chance to explain in our EXCLUSIVE interview with the man himself, u/InsaneIcon was u/Shriramrishi. He's gone bonkers and has found himself set to face the Game, u/the_gift_of_g2j at No Mercy for a shot at the Intercontinental Championship. Things began with tensions as Icon/Rishi stole G2J’s hammer.
* As we also explained in our EXCLUSIVE interview, u/8-20-17 turned out to be an entity called u/We_are_Collective who controlled OMB to literally eat u/FakeNewsBarrett. u/King-Of-Zing joined LIR too. Inside news folks, FakeNews is partying in the relevant Bahamas with u/desuroku and u/Trucker1028 and his death is just fake news.
* u/TheHandsomeJosh apologised for all the evil that he committed as u/TheBrokenJosh. In true handsome fashion, he hit on u/King-Of-Zing, giving her his number. Very manly. Josh then met up with the mother-killer, u/Mr_FreakJuice and decided to unite with him against all fashion felons as the Fashion Police. I hope my ‘Tokyo Dome=5 stars’ is still in fashion.
* The heated feud between the erotic Harry Potter fanboys, u/GryffindorTomand u/Tin_reader escalated to new heights as Tin left a message for Tom on Bring the Slam.
* u/EllieDai missed out on another opportunity to make it big but still impressed in her match for the IC title. Someone give the girl a cookie, goddamit.
* u/VacantforHOF finally took the break I've been saying he'd take (for weeks!). He's earned it.
* u/TheUltimateMark was revived back from the dead by u/delois_oracle. But in a bitter swerve, u/senorMeekmahan revealed himself to have been faking loyalty to Black Sabbath and was searching for a way to revive his friend, Mark. Upon his return, Mark assaulted Meekmahan and turned heel. This is like stretching an orgasm. Give us the ‘Mark feel-good’ moment, for the love of God.
* u/RyRyLloyd cut a promo about his victory at Summerslam, to be become the World Cup winner, only to get shat on by u/InsaneIcon. I'm still on the ‘go RyRy’ bandwagon.
* u/MrCappie returned (why did he leave if he could return for Summerslam in the first place?!!!!) to celebrate with u/Immathrodis as the new Undisputed Champion of LLR succumbed to emotion.
* u/We_are_Collective laid out a cannibalistic threat to LLR, announcing that they'll kill and have OMB eat their targets. That they feed on pain. And here I thought LLR couldn't be in any more legal hot water…
* u/ThePruef got a beating of a lifetime by Black Sabbath members.
* u/TheUltimateMark trashed Evolution in probably the best promo of his career. In return, he got a match on SmackDown Live against u/Immathrodis, not bad.
* Speaking of Stallions, u/MrCappie officially returned to competition. I've just got three letters on my mind. WTF.
* So as it turns out, u/SlowbroJJ will be going after the IC title, his roots, as he says. Nice twist. Looks like the Slowbro of lore is back. He had a fantastic segment with u/LMonkA7X, a man he's set to face at the next NJPW PPV for the IC title, where he plays mind games with the champion.
* The Report aired it's episode 11, even after officially stating that episode 10 would be the last. u/hydraloonie, in this episode, revealed his grand scheme of world domination.
* u/TheUltimateMark beat u/captainconundrum for the Hardcore Championship at WCPW World Cup in extremely controversial fashion. The Hardcore Champion is allowed to choose his competition, not the other way round so if Cap was not a viewer of WCPW, he should have a full right of not defending his title there. Another day, another error for u/YourBuddyChurch.
* u/ElDaboWHC decided to stick with his friendo, u/AurumVocem. Well, good for them.
* Three amazing promos were cut in the span of a few ours by u/Simashi, u/InsaneIcon and u/thegamerwhohelps. Probably the three best promos in LLR in months.
* Radio 105.5 hosted u/RyRyLloyd who voiced his concerns over LLR management, and trust me RyRy, I agree. It's worse than the shit-show at AAA. He was booked into a match with u/Simashi by u/Immathrodis, who looks like a real ray of sunshine in management.
* Born Ready tried to throw water on the fact that their is no dissension in their ranks. Problem? Smarks love heel turns. SO GIMME ONE!
Young Lions to watch out for
(None. No new signings)
Match of the week: VacantForHOF Vs SlowbroJJ at Summerslam- 5 stars
Segment of the week: InsaneIcon’s “Footage from..nah”
Category:Observer