What's in a Nickname?/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "What's in a Nickname?".
== ==
(Gust is walking past some Trolls.)
Biggie: Ten Gallon, coming through! 
Poppy: Ten Gall-on!
Demo: Greetings, Ten Gallon!
Branch: Hi! (Gust stares at him.) “Ten Gallon”?
Gust: Hm.
Branch: (chuckles nervously) Since when do we call Gust Ten Gallon?
Demo: Since Lownote Jones gave him his new nickname.
Poppy: Yep. And when Lownote gives you a nickname, it sticks!
Lownote: (laughs) You got that right. (Lightning flashes on the screen.) You see, Lownote Jones has preternatural gift for nicknaming. Some say it’s a manifestation of the cool within me. Others suggest I am merely a conduit through which the universe whispers its will. Either way, every once in a while, I feel a notion forming inside me, a tingle shoots down my spine, and then… (He floats in the air. Biggie, Smidge, and Synth see that.)
All: Wow…
Lownote: Smidge. (Smidge gasps.) From this day forward, you shall be known as… Cutie Pie! (He pokes Smidge, pushing her back.)
Techno Troll #1: Cutie Pie!
Classical Troll #1: Greetings Cutie Pie!
Biggie: Good ol’ Cutie Pie!
Pop Troll #1: Hey, Cutie Pie!
Smidge: Yaaaaaaaaay!
Branch: So, hypothetically speaking, what if you… wanted to choose your own nickname? (All the Trolls gasp.)
Poppy: Choose your own nickname?! Ugh! It’s so awkward! So forced!
Smidge: Cutie Pie does not approve!
Lownote: A Troll must never pick their own nickname, Branch. Otherwise, they might end up with monicker that does not truly fit them and risk consequences most unspeakable.
Branch: (laughs) That’s what I thought. Who would wanna choose their own nickname? (He laughs and Lownote joins him.)
Lownote: It is good to laugh. (He leaves.)
Branch: OK, bye, Lownote! (He runs over to Poppy and Demo.) This is my chance, Poppy! I can finally make it happen!
Poppy: Oh, no, Branch! Not this again!
Demo: Sorry, what’s “this”?
Poppy: Ugh. Please don’t ask ‘cause he’s just gonna get all dramatic and-
Branch: It was a long time ago. Back in my bunker days. There was no-one to give me a nickname, so I had to create one for myself… (We go to the past where Branch is writing nicknames.) So, I filled journal after journal with the possibilities… Branch-meister, Brazz-matazz, Johnny Bunker… and then, like lightning, it struck me. The nickname of all nicknames…
Past Branch: Ace. (We go back to the present.)
Demo: (With tears in his eyes) It’s… so… beautiful.
Branch: I know.
Poppy: Ugh.
Branch: It exudes confidence and commands respect. Ace is the Troll you call when someone has to get the job done.
Poppy: Branch! You’re already that Troll. People respect you and ask you for help all the time!
Branch: Yeah, but come on, Poppy. If you’re in a pinch and can only call one Troll, is it gonna be Branch? Or Ace?
Poppy: Branch. Obviously.
Branch: Mm?
Poppy: Gah! Fine! Based on name alone, I’d call Ace!
Branch: Ha. Ace closed.
Poppy: But, Branch, you heard what Lownote said. You can’t pick your own nickname. You’re tampering with forces you don’t understand. Tell him, Demo.
Demo: Actually, Poppy, for a nickname like Ace, I kinda think he should tamper. In fact, I’d be happy to tamper with you! (He and Branch high-five.)
Both: Tamper twins!
Poppy: What?!
Branch: Relax. I’m not gonna pick my nickname. Lownote will. We’re just gonna give him a nudge in the “ace” direction.
Branch and Demo: Hm? (Later, they play cards with some Country Trolls. Lownote is watching them.)
Branch: Well, another four aces for me, fellas. (The Country Trolls groan.)
Demo: Branch, how do you keep getting so many aces?
Branch: Well, I guess I’m just an ace kind of Troll. (He makes his card disappear.)
All: Whoa!
Lownote: Wait! Seeing such an impossible number of aces played by one Troll, I… I feel a notion forming inside of me…
Branch: Here it comes!
Lownote: Branch… are you cheating? (The Country Trolls take out weapons.)
Branch: No. I… uh… (More cards come out of his leaf vest and he runs away. At his bunker, Demo watches him go through a box.) Ah! Here it is! (He shows a test with an A with three plus signs.) Wait until I show Lownote this test I took for Poppy’s macro-hugonomics crash course.
Demo: Ah, I see you aced it.
Both: Hm? (Outside, Lownote is playing his guitar.)
Branch: Lownote! Check it out! 100%! You might say that I…
Lownote: Got all the answers right?
Branch: Yes… And when someone does that, you might say that they…
Lownote: Took time to review the concepts being tested?
Branch: (grunts) Sure, but as a result…
Lownote: You learned that hard work pays off! Improved your self-esteem? Earned the respect of your peers? (Angry, Branch crumbles up his test and throws it away as he leaves.)
Branch: Gah! Come on! (Soon, Lownote sees Branch in a jacket and sunglasses.)
Lownote: Branch… you look so…
Branch: Confident? Capable? Like the type of Troll that walks the razor-thin line between pure risk and absolute control… or whatever?
Lownote: Whoa…
Demo: And cue the fan… (He presses a button and a fan pops up and turns on.) … the music… (He turns on a radio.)
Lownote: Whoa!
Demo: And now, the ace in the hole. (He presses another button and fireworks explore while Flyer Bugs fly above.)
Lownote: (gasps) Wait! Something’s happening… (He rises into the air while Branch watches.) Branch, from this day forward, you shall be known as… Ace. (He touches Branch and magic blows in the air. Even Cooper notices it.)
Cooper: An Ace walks among us.
Techno Troll #1: Yo, Ace!
Classical Troll #1: Ace!
Biggie: Ace man!
Pop Troll #1: Hey, Ace! (As we show a montage of Branch being cool, Lownote Sings Call On Ace.)
(Lownote)
Here he comes
Bet you can’t look away
He’s got the moves
Yeah, he’s our Ace
He gets it done
With no delay
He sets the groove
Yeah, he’s our ace
Ace is the man
The man with the plan
Ace gets it done
The top Troll number one
Ace keeps it cool
He always knows what to do
When you need someone
To save the day
Just call on Ace (After the song, Branch is with Poppy.)
Country Troll #1: Ace! (He gives Branch a high-five.)
Rock Troll #1: Lookin’ good, Ace! (He gives Branch a high-five.)
Pop Troll #2: You the Troll, Ace! (He gives Branch a high-five.)
Branch: (As a female Country Troll high-fives him) Ah, it’s good to be Ace, Poppy. (He walks backwards.) Sorry. Ace needs to switch sides so Ace’s hand doesn’t get sore.
Poppy: Ugh. I don’t know, Branch. I’m worried about what Lownote said. It still feels to me like you picked your own name.
Branch: Well, Ace remains unconcerned.
Lownote: Say, Ace? Don’t mean to bother you, but I could use your help with a little problem.
Branch: Eh?
Poppy: Ugh!
Branch: Can’t say I’m surprised, Lownote. After all, I am the Troll you can call when someone has to… get the job done. (He sees the problem.) Troll-y moly! What is this?!
Lownote: Those are energy-sucking diptera from sector 12, AKA Glow-scitos. If they drain too much power from the ship, it’s going down. So you and I are going to fly up there on hover boards and whack ‘em back through the wormholes with these! (He shows a laser fly swatter to Branch.)
Branch: But isn’t there a Funk Troll that might be better equipped for this?
Lownote: Absolutely! But none of them are named Ace. (He jumps onto a hover board to fight off the Glow-scitos. Another hover boards lands next to Branch.)
Branch: Um… (He puts a foot on the hover board and he screams as it flies around in the air at high speed. It then hits Vibe Town multiple times.) Ow! Oh! (The hover board continues flying out of control. His sunglasses fall off. A Glow-scito grabs him while Lownote swats another one.)
Lownote: Huh? (Branch lands on his hover board. This causes Lownote to drop his laser fly swatter. The Glow-scitos surround them.) Well now, normally this would be a truly terrifying situation. But we’ve got something those Glow-scitos don’t have…
Branch: No, Lownote. Please don’t say it.
Lownote: Ace!
Branch: (Hitting his head off Lownote’s hover board) No!
Lownote: Uh… are you OK? Ace?
Branch: I’m not Ace, Lownote. I manipulated you into giving me that nickname.
Lownote: W-what?! You mean, you-
Branch: Yes, I picked it myself. It was forced and awkward, and you warned me about the consequences, but I didn’t listen.
Lownote: Well, in that case, please excuse this momentarily lapse of cool, but… (He picks up a remote.) Lownote to spaceship, Lownote to spaceship, we are facing total annihilation, over. (To Branch) Sorry, really lost my head there. (He laughs and three Funk Trolls on hover boards appear.)
Funk Troll #1: We’ll take it from here. (He and his friends form their laser fly swatters into a bigger one. Then they swat the Glow-scitos back through the wormholes.)
Branch and Lownote: Whoa! (The Funk Trolls fly away while Branch and Lownote sigh in relief. Suddenly, Branch slips off Lownote’s hover board and falls to the ground.)
Branch: Ow! (He then talks to Poppy and Lownote.) Sorry for the mess, Lownote. I see now I was tampering with forces I didn’t fully understand. It’s definitely back to Branch for me.
Lownote: Wait. I’m getting something. A new nickname.
Poppy and Branch: Whoa!
Lownote: Branch, from this day forward, you shall be known as… Skippy Two Shoes! Yeah, sorry, universe, but there’s no way I’m calling him that. 
Poppy: Oh, thank you.
Branch: Yeah. Branch is fine. (Demo appears.)
Demo: Yo! Skippy Two Shoes! (Branch groans and does a facepalm.)
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