Bonus Chapter 1: Reaper, What the hell is this?

== Some Context ==
In the earliest days of Betatale, it was a direct parody of Alphatale’s main story. As such, there wasn’t much of a linear story and it was mostly a series of events that loosely tied together in some way. Betatale was essentially just Alphatale with a more comedic twist to it. This path changed in favor of something more original of course, making some past chapters either irrelevant or non-canon. This chapter is one of them, it being a parody of part of an AlphaTale chapter I’ve honestly forgotten the number of that’s been since rewritten. This story only serves as an artifact of what both AlphaTale and Betatale used to be.
This has also just been scrapped because, suffice to say, it’s kinda bad.
== The Story Itself ==
We randomly jump to KONO DIO DA! Or, KDD for short. Who the hell is this guy? Idk but we’re here now, and yOu’Ve gOt tO dEaL wItH iT! KDD is just vibing in The Anti-void, I guess, when HAM’s ghost yelled at him to wake up.
”Wake up ye fockin idyit.” HAM Sans (ghost version) said to KDD, who got up, groaning as he held his head, which hurt because everyone who wakes up got bonked in the head, y’know.
”Bro what the fuck is this.” KDD said, knowing less about the situation than even the audience so that I can dump exposition in without question. By golly!
A black portal appeared, and Ham Sans turned to it. KDD had a shitfit as he screeched at the portal like a little girl. HAM didn’t give a shit, as KDD scrambled away.
”Bruv, we’ll jus’ keel i’ if it’s a threat lmao.” HAM said, being fairly rational for a mass-murdering psychopath.
“NO! I WILL NEVAR KILL!” KDD said, despite HAM referencing killing in self-defense, something that’s completely normal and justifiable, but I guess we’re supposed to relate to KDD and see him as righteous ‘n shit, so whatever.
But before The Moral Dilemma could be elaborated upon, Camila-Ten-Bo-Chris-Chan-Kamai exited the portal, doing a menacing JoJo stance despite not attacking.
”Hi I’m kamai lmao.” CTBCCK said,
”What the fuck!?” HAM asked, as KDD gave him a confused look, which honestly made sense given context. KDD had no real knowledge of CTBCCK, but the reaction was clearly strange.
”Do you know them?” KDD asked.
”Last time I saw them they were IN MAH BELLY!” HAM said.
”Bro you’re fucking gross.” KDD said.
”Y’know thas roude, Oi troid goin on a date once, with a gorl from sw-“ HAM said, as KDD gave him a look that told him to shut the fuck up with this dumbass joke.
“Insert some dialogue here to try and make myself look intimidating, but due to lack of proper punctuation or grammar at all I am now speaking in an inconceivable manner.” CTBCCK said, as KDD and HAM gasped at the placeholder dialogue.
“Lmao why are you short.” KDD asked this random figure who probably from his knowledge had a short temper and could kill him at will. This is a smart decision, yes.
”WHO THE HELL YOU TALKIN TO HO? BITCH WHO THE HELL YOU TALKIN TO?!” CTBCCK screeched, as KDD raised his hands defensively.
”Sorry I haven’t interacted with anyone since- forever.” KDD said, despite for some reason knowing how normal interactions go and having a standardized grasp on empathy and emotions.
”ZOMG!!11 SHE’S HERE TO RUIN EVURYTHIN!111 KILL HER NOAW!11 KILL HER!!! KILL HER!!!!” HAM screeched, having a shitfit, as KDD blinked rapidly, confused as to why HAM was having a shitfit over some random human tentacle monster thing that to his knowledge, he didn’t know anything about.
Hey wait, how does HAM know who Camila-Ten-Bo-Chris-Chan-Kamai was? What the fuck? Why are we just skipping over these things? Why is the story acting with dramatic irony? Why do we even know who Camila-Ten-Bo-Chris-Chan-Kamai is?
Anyway, CTBCCK realized something.
”Hey, so you have my powers right? That makes you a god.” They said, assuming KDD knew everything HAM did and just was HAM on base value.
”What the fuck? No, I’ve literally never met you in my life and can’t even leave one AU, how am I a god by any metric?” KDD asked with a fair bit of validity.
CTBCCK just straight up ignored him, as they continued. “Ok lemme teach you how to defend yourself.” CTBCCK said.
”It was established earlier in this chapter that I don’t condone violent self-defense, but whatever I guess, I’m just simping so I’ll allow it.” KDD said.
He made a house out of thin air, so CTBCCK just shrugged and walked inside, as did KDD. I’m now ending this chapter because I am tired.
“Ok now think of something you want to make.” CTBCCK said.
KDD made a house lmao.
“WHY DID YOU MAKE A HOUSE??!?11/1//1 I DIND’T WANT YU TO MAEK A HOUASE!1111” CTBCCK said.
”What, just get in the house bitch.” KDD said as he walked inside. 
Then I ended the chapter because am tired.
Category:Non-Canon
Category:Story
Category:Written by Reaper
Category:Season 1