Grooving Candles/Transcript

(The episode begins in a dark room. Two white circles pop out from it.)
The circles: Hello there.
(The lights flip on, and it is revealed the circles were none other than Kellie’s eyes.)
Kellie: You have located our musical episode. I wish I could supply you with audio, but you’re just going to have to read them. I guess.
(A knock on a door is heard.)
Kellie’s mother: (Offscreen.) Kellie, who are you talking to in there?!
Kellie: No one, mom! (Turns back toward the screen.) Anyway, enjoy our songs. Enjoy our parodies. For our first song is something quite familiar.
(Theme song plays.)
Kellie: (Offscreen.) Told you.
(Cuts to a view of the beach. Shaduck suddenly pops onscreen.)
Shaduck: A-well-a everybody's heard about the Darkbird
(He is now surfing.)
Shaduck: Dark-Dark-Darkbird, Darkbird is the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
A-well Darkbird
(Zoom in on his face.)
Shaduck: A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that Darkbird is the word
(Zooms back out.)
Shaduck: A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word 
a-well-a everybody's heard about the Darkbird
Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird’s the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
A-well, Darkbird, bird, bird, Darkbird is the word
(Zooms in.)
Shaduck: A-well-a don't you know about the Darkbird?
Well, everybody's talking about the Darkbird!
A-well-a bird
(Zooms out, and the wave and surfboard stop in midair.)
Shaduck: (Moving like his limbs are jelly.) Surfin Shaduck, uck, uck, uck, uck, uck, uck, uck uck
(Readies himself for the board to keep moving.) Ah, quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack
(The wave and the surfboard keep moving.)
Shaduck: Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
A-well-a don't you know about Shaduck?
Well, everybody knows that Shaduck is the bud 
A-well, a Darkbird, Darkbird, Darkbird’s the word
Quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack 
A-well, a Darkbird, Darkbird, Darkbird’s the word
Quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack SHADUCK! 
(Song ends. The scene fades to a view of the middle of space, a shooting star flies across the screen. Piano music starts playing. Ribbon, Mystix and Judy are the ones supplying the background music as the stars twinkle in the shape of them, before Mystic and TMS arrive on screen.)
Mystic: Yeah, we always thought that we were nothing
Gwen: When we first arrived on this planet
Mystic: Then we realized that we are shining
Gwen: Because we aren’t that boring granite 
The Mystic Stars: What we were thinking? Were we stuck in the heavy rain? Oh we won’t be shrinking, cuz we will break out of the chain.
Mystic: Whatever our mindset was back then
Gumball: It surely wasn’t our smoothest jam
Darwin: Then came the ring of Big Ben
(A bong from Big Ben is heard.)
Aqua/Tora: Looking through those memories make us go “goddamn”
Mystic/The Mystic Stars: What we were thinking? Were we stuck in the heavy rain? Oh we won’t be shrinking, cuz we will break out of the chain.
Mystic: Trying to break loose of that chain that has you down
Gwen: It’s surely difficult.
Gumball: But we pulled on through.
Mystic/The Mystic Stars: But when that rusty old chain is broken, it will surely remove all of our past pain. What we were thinking? Were we stuck in the heavy rain? Oh we won’t be shrinking, cuz we will break out of the chain.
Darwin: When that rusty old chain is broken, it will surely remove all of our past pain.
(Jumps to Candle Man in a graveyard, leaning on a grave that says, “Fool” on it.)
Candle Man: The flame goes in not out.
That’s why I sing about
This fiery topic.
I love the heat.
So take a seat.
On a plane to a warm tropic.
I say, I say
That yes you may
Get fed up with the sweat 
But don’t worry
No spicy curry
I still like to get wet!
A candle has to have his time to enjoy some comfortable weather
And if he doesn’t well I don’t think that you will want to tread there
You wouldn’t want to see
The inside of me
Because he is very angry
Angrier than a bee
Coming out of a hive
Don’t think you will survive
(A large silhouette is cast behind him.)
Candle Man: When you come across Lava Man
You will find you have ran…
Aaaaway from me so don’t you agree 
That we should never let him out
Or next you will be mount 
On top and then under a coffin
No longer coughing
Not breathing
Just seeing
(Lava Man appears behind him.)
Candle Man: That you are dead 
With red
All around you!
(The song ends, and the screen swipes to Limefong in a science lab.)
Limefong: You know how it feels to be the nerd?
Treated like you’re just a turd
There must be a stance for knowledge
People from school, or people from college
Up against the mean ones of the day
So I say 
Oh woah oh woah
It’s time to be
Bio-dog-ical
Yeah, me
And the other nerds will rule
We can make a statement
So let’s give them the treatment!
The treatment to…
The others bent
(Song ends and the screen lowers until it goes fully red, then Magica DeSpell is seen.)
Magica: It seems I live in Hell
And yes that maybe, well.
But that is not stopping me
From being as evil as I could possibly be!
It all started when I saw the power!
I knew I could make others cower!
I learnt with my sibling.
And we were both dribbling over our magical grades and then we passed!
We earn two amulets 
Then we ruled over lots of misfits 
A blot here and a blot there
But I did not give a care 
No mortal could stand against us!
If they did, they’d surely turn to dust!
That's just how it worked.
Each of us would lurk
And steal somebody's treasure 
Nobody could measure
The true length of our dark side
It crashed in like an evil tide
We had ruled supreme!
And yet that may seem
Until an old dumb duck 
A mistake of a f…
He took away our money!
And then next part isn't funny
He didn't stop my brother
When he escaped as a raven
Wasn't ever saved
When Scrooge defected my blast
And projected it real fast
It took me long to recover
And I never could find him 
Now I live in the world of sin
After a rivalry with one bird
Turned into a bigger one with different turds!
I hate Scrooge McDuck
And now I hate Shaduck
One day I shall take my revenge 
And my brother can be avenged!
For now I'll be here
Ready to steer
The face of evil
Yes, that I will
So see you soon
On an eclipse or full moon
(Song ends. A lightning bolt flashes on screen, changing to the Spammers’ lair in the middle of heavy rain, before fading to inside the lair, everyone doing whatever while Whickey stares out the window.)
Gyux: (Spoken.) Yfwu Whickey, dwgywgydahgachn? (Subtitles: Hey Whickey, what evil plan are you up to now?)
Whickey: (Spoken.) Oh I’m not scheming anything young Gyux, I’m more so in the mood to sing a theme for ourselves.
Maps: (Spoken) Yeah, let’s do it!
(Another flash of lightning, and immediately after, the lair changes, Gyux on the piano, Maps on the drums, Luis on a guitar with a red lightsaber painted on the neck, Kitchen playing bass, and Dyaboy and Whickey singing lead.)
The Spammers: You better watch your backs
Because we are the Spammers
Whickey: Five different criminals
Dyaboy: Ready to bring down the hammers
The Spammers: To bring back UCP
Will always remain our goal
And in one way or another
Luis: We’ll take over the world.
Gyux: fwqhb! (Subtitles: Boom!)
Maps: I’m not your normal Maps.
Dyaboy: Cuz she’ll set up some traps.
Maps: Oh, techy Dyaboy
Luis: Being evil brings him joy
Whickey, Kitchen, Maps, and Dyaboy: Luis the Sith, bent on killing the baggy man
Dyaboy: Kitchen and the Gyux, to whom people always ran
Whickey: I made the group, and on the town we spit
The Spammers: And we won’t stop until this town’s a pile of-
Gyux: Iehefg! (Subtitles: Poop!)
The Spammers: So listen up Candle Flips!
Maps: You’d better watch yourselves!
Dyaboy: You’d better zip your lips
Kitchen and Maps: And hide in your shells!
The Spammers: For when we come to stomp you
Mercy we do not show
We have no plan, but when we do
We are absolute proooos!
We’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah
We’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah
Whickey: You’d better pack away your TVs and your bongs
The Spammers: Cuz we’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah!
Whickey: We are evil, we will admit
Dyaboy: But before we hit them, we were hit
Kitchen and Maps: OOOOooooo, is it so wrong we wanted revenge so bad?
Especially against those flips in feeble clad!
Luis: There are not a lot of singled-out people we really hate
Whickey: Except that Candle-headed guy and his hammer-headed date
The Spammers: Dumb ducks, smart dogs, baggy headed guys, and their friends
We won’t stop until those annoying people meet their ennnnnnd!
We’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah
We’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah
Whickey: We don’t care about our rights and wrongs
The Spammers: Cuz we’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah!
Whickey: (To Luis.) Take a solo!
(Luis plays a solo.)
The Spammers: We’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah
We’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah
Whickey: And we’ll end the lives of all you ding-dongs
The Spammers: Cuz we’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah!
Cuz we’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeah!
Cuz we’re Spamming on your songs! Oh yeahhhhhhhhh!
(Song ends, and the screen fades to the exterior of Baghead’s house. Cuts inside and in the kitchen as music plays. C0F-3 appears, and the song begins.)
C0F-3: Following orders is hard to do
With feelings
Brewing coffee in the dead of night
The baggy head we serve is good and all
A good friend
But to him giving us a rest is a fright
But we are left at home while he serves
Hypocrisy in full-on force
But when we close our electric eyes we see ourselves
Independent
Chases the shadows all away
The toaster and the coffee pot
Can take over today
Rolling out the car
Take it out for a spin
(C0F-3 and R7-A1 are transported into the old Sadim Superbuggy with the car roof pulled down.)
R7-A1: Fwoo woo do do, fwoo woo woowoo
C0F-3: Globetrotting, in the Sadim car
R7-A1: Beep bedoop beep, squee feebee woo
C0F-3: Taking down drinks, in the BLOKO bar
C0F-3 and R7-A1: Boop, bepedoop
C0F-3: Going full rogue
C0F-3 and R7-A1: Beep a deep, woo woo woo
C0F-3: Going full broke
R7-A1: Fwoo woo do do, do do do, doo do do
C0F-3: Globetrotting, in the Sadim car
R7-A1: Beep bedoop beep, squee feebee woo
C0F-3: Taking down drinks, in the BLOKO bar
C0F-3 and R7-A1: Boop, bepedoop
C0F-3: This day off won’t end
C0F-3 and R7-A1: Beep a deep, woo woo woo
C0F-3: Let’s do it again!
(Song fades out as C0F-3 and R7-A1 crash into the Baghead Wikia. Cuts inside and into Goxic’s office. Another song begins.)
Goxic: Don’t poke the bear, some people say
Does it apply to foxes?
Some call me soft, mushy and prey
Cuz I unload boxes
That’s who I am, that’s who I am
Reading and giving people bans
That’s who I am, that’s who I am
I’m just that archival man
The powers I have, I rarely use
What’s the point, I always blurt
If my dignity’s the next thing I lose
Dominance is something I must assert
But that’s not for me, it’s not for me
Using acid to burn someone’s hand, naw
That’s not for me, that’s not for me
I’m just that archival man
(Bit of an instrumental solo, then Goxic gets up, leaves his office, and takes the song out into the main area.)
Goxic: I like my job, but there’s more to life
I need to get out more when I’m done, here
Instead of suffering verbal pain and strife
Maybe I’ll go and do something fun!
That might be for me, that might be for me
Doing cool stuff and not giving a damn
That might be for me, that might be for me
Cuz I’m just an archival man
(Goxic reprises the chorus as the song fades out. Cuts to Dewey, who is at a pond.)
Dewey: Clap clap clap
The duck goes quack quack quack
You all love it
Then ya chit chit chit
You go share
And you pair
And you stare
Of the duck going
Quack quack quack
And then ya clap clap clap
And ya tap tap tap
Below the duck duck duck
Who wants the luck luck luck
Of reaching fame 
But only the blame
Cause he’s a screw-up
He dews what’s up
The article on the news app
Then he’s infame
Going to claim
The consequence of his bad deed
But didn’t they read?
It was just a mistake! 
But now they want me cleaning around the lake!
And then I see a duck duck duck
And then also a truck truck truck
People outside
On my left and right side
Snapping pictures 
Of the duck who went…
Quack quack quack
And they clap clap clap
And it flap flap flaps
Away
Leading me astray
What’s so good about him?
Is it the fact he can swim?
Or is it just the game?
The game of fame and blame!
(A bubble is heard from a river, then a fish is seen swimming away.)
Darwin: The concept of being one part of a full whole is quite a difficult task, 
trying to keep the other side of me contained in the fask. 
It's quite the life being a spilt shard, yeah, being a spilt shard.
Insanova: You might find me to go and pester, but that’s just because I am the fun-loving jester, 
as I keep my silly grin, as with me and Darwin, being the perfect pair, 
we’re so scary together, we can be a bear!
Darwin: Although he can be quite the gloom, he will continue growing till he finally goes bloom, 
like the gleaming stars that we are, we will always be quite bizarre. 
Even if he would just pull out a knife, he will always be like my wife.
Insanova: Much like the sun and the moon being bright and dark, we will always bring in quite a spark, with us being a spilt shard..
Darwin: Life being one will always be hard!
Darwin/Insanova: Aren’t I glad I have you with me, without you, I would be on my knees, oh my other half, don’t you just make me laugh, thankfully that you are my world, my spilt shard!
Darwin: You are my sugar
Insanova: and you are my the lemon
Darwin/Insanova: We’re a sweet lemonade!
Darwin: I will never trade you away
Insanova: If you did, life would certainly be gray!
Darwin/Insanova: Aren’t I glad I have you with me, without you, I would be on my knees, oh my other half, don’t you just make me laugh, thankfully that you are my world, my spilt shard!
Darwin: Differences don't matter…
Insanova: And we aren’t quite the same
Darwin/Insanova: But that’s ok given there's no two clouds alike in the great big sky.
Darwin/Insanova: Aren’t I glad I have you with me, without you, I would be on my knees, oh my other half, don’t you just make me laugh, thankfully that you are my world, my spilt shard!
Darwin: and you're my half..
Insanova: ...We’re forever together
Darwin/Insanova: and singing as one whole!
(The screen fades to black, but then Kellie rips the black away from the camera.)
Kellie: You didn’t expect it to end that way, did you? No! We have a slow song to end. And who is singing it, you say? Why, it’s the only person to give us a song yet!... is what I would say if it were true. I WANT MY SONG, PEOPLE!
(TwoBrains, Pesron, and Moose walk in, stomping and clapping like on “We Will Rock You”.)
Kellie: Buddy, you’re a supporting character
But you really, really wanna be MAIN SOMEDAY!
You’ve got makeup on your face, covered with lace
Swinging your resume all over the place
Singin’
Everyone: WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!
WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!
TwoBrains: Buddy, you’re being overshadowed
But you know you’ll be cooler than THEM SOMEDAY!
You’ve got sweat on your face, winning a race
Swingin’ your hands all over the place
Singin’
Everyone: WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!
WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!
Pesron: Buddy we’ve won the mainy-mainy roles
And we’re getting what we’ve wanted for so long TODAY!
You’ve got triumph on your face, reading your lines in haste
Your self esteem taking up the whole, whole place
Singin’
Everyone: WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!
WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!
Buddy, WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!
WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!
(Moose takes a solo on a guitar, playing until the end of the song. At the end of the solo, the back wall busts open because of all the noise, and Kellie’s mother runs in.)
Mrs. Smith: Kellie, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
Kellie: Mom, it was a protest song!
(They continue arguing. The scene fades to a circular room with several scenarios and clips from previous episodes playing on the walls. Baghead stands at the center with a guitar with the neck painted as a lightsaber and a harmonica connected to it. A microphone stand is in front of him. The music starts, and Baghead plays a tune on the harmonica, then starts singing.)
Baghead: I’m a Jedi, sure, but it’s
quite harder than any other job gets
I’ve got rivals, and some friends
But I don’t know when this war will end
(Prince and Bobert stand behind him as backup singers.)
Baghead, Bobert, and Prince: So give me peace and quiet
Before I have to solve another riot
Black Friday’s coming round
But you know I won’t be found
Baghead: You don’t know how it feels
You don’t know how it feels
To be meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Baghead disconnects the harmonica from the guitar and throws the guitar to Pooka, who plays it.)
Baghead: Wikia seems to always be in trouble
But I just wanna in my own bubble
I have got a girlfriend, and
I wanna spend time with her again
Baghead, Bobert, and Prince: So let us drive away
And come back another day
Let me go as far as I can go
Before I have to help some average Joes
Baghead: You don’t know how it feels
You don’t know how it feels
To be meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
(Baghead takes his place behind Pooka, who takes a guitar solo. Baghead then begins singing again.)
Baghead: Overshadowed by four normies
Makes it even harder for me
I like my job, but I also say
“Please give me some time away”
Baghead, Bobert, and Prince: So let us drive away
And come back another day
Let me go as far as I can go
Before I have to help some average Joes
Baghead: You don’t know how it feels
You don’t know how it feels
You don’t know how it feels
To be meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
(Pooka plays another solo, then Baghead plays harmonica as the song fades out. Episode ends.)
Category:Candle Man & Friends
Category:Season 1
Category:Transcripts