Previously on Eon Archive

==Previously on Eon: With Our Special Host, Kruglor==
Episode Five: No, no, no. That didn't happen.
* Kruglor gets bored and leaves in the middle of Interview with a 900 year old Lich, heads down into the final boss room, where foes new and old are dredging up Frozen Fates. Kruglor acknowledges that he will need help from his party in order to stand a chance, and reascends the staircase. While returning to the lich room, he procures 8 Femurs!
*Returning, he convinces the Lich to go down into the lower dungeon, in the hopes of sparing the party from two encounters by letting the lich deal with the intruders below. After waiting a reasonable amount of time for the two encounters to fight each other, the party [Dimension Door]'s into the final boss room.
*...Only to discover that they've
*A) Walked right into an ambush.
*B) Somehow caused the intruders and the lich to alliance against them.
*Several hours, 6 hero points, and an absurd amount of bad rolls later, we decided to "Fuck this shit", take the save point, and...
*While returning to the lich room, Kruglor procures 8 Femurs!
 Episode Six: The Unmentionable Session
*Party decides to take a 1500exp. hit and return to the save point right as they meet up with the lich.
*After a grueling time trying to get new information out of him, Kruglor, and Baudin decide to leave the room, using the excuse that they want to help the lich look for his missing items.
*They decide to forgo a very difficult puzzle, and instead feed the dead zombies to the still frozen beholder, "Herr Doctor"
* Baudin and Kruglor proceed to throw dead zombies into the mouth of the beholder and then move it's mouth to chew, while making comments on how they are "better then mama".
*The lich, disgusted, closes the door to the room that he and the rest of the party are in, leaving the rogue scientologist, and the barbarian to their own devices.
*Baudin and Kruglor decide to ditch the party now stuck in a room with a beholder and go further down the stairs, tying up the frozen Herr Doctor, and bringing him with them.
*Going down the stairs, the two men and the beholder (henceforth known as "Team Genius"), see another door on the way down the stairs, finding a hallway with two dead bodies.
*Kruglor runs down the hall recklessly until a huge solid door falls out of nowhere and leaves Team Genius with the option of trying to get through the door or leaving and continuing down the stairs.
*Choosing to ignore the door, Team Genius runs down the stairs, only to get ambushed by Tyro and Poetry, who are hidden and take sneak attacks.
*Half dead, Kruglor throws the dice and Team Genius is taken to another plane.
*They immediately search for anything that they can take back with them.
*They find blue flowers
*Herr Doctor becomes unfrozen, as Baudin searches his way right into a Huge Kitty Cat. He immediately asks Kruglor if they can take it with them.
*To avoid the deaths of three party members, Herr Doctor uses his charm ray on the kitty, and tells it not to resist at all, allowing Team Genius to bring it with them.
*Return to the other half of the party, the lich becomes irritated and runs down the stairs, seemingly on the same side as the party. The party follows him down the stairs
*Baudin returns only to be hit and left with -5 hp. The lich enters the room, gets hit by Tyro, and then gives Tyro the smackdown with lightning. The party enters and epic battle ensues.
*Kruglor returns to the material plane, and throws the dice again. This time he lands in a glass temple, with shattered glass all around him, because he's now accidentally destroyed sed glass temple. Boccob the Uncaring looks at him from across the room, but still does not care.
*Kruglor, upon meeting Boccob the Uncaring again, goes up to him and licks his cheek
*Kruglor then becomes very very gay due to a sex 2
*Kruglor has all of his clothing taken off by Boccob
*Then as they are about to have sex, Boccob whispers in Kruglor's ear, "Fuck you." and Kruglor is returned to the material plane, with nothing but his ax.
*Meanwhile, Ashra, Ethan, Claire, and the lich face off with some success against some mooks in black armor until what seems to be High Regent Xentaroth appears, causing the lich to switch allegiances. 
*High Regent Xentaroth also mind blasts the room, freezing the Huge Kitty Cat, and flame strikes Ethan. 
*Kruglor returns to the prime material plane and spins around while ejaculating, revealing Poetry behind him.  He grabs her and rolls the dice again, returning him to the Outlands.
*The lich attacks various party members while Ethan runs away and Ashra tries to get Ethan's wand. 
*On another plane of existence, Kruglor rapes Poetry. 
*In the Mirror of True Sight, "High Regent Xentaroth" is revealed to be Tyro in disguise and eventually dispatched after reducing Ashra to 0 hp. 
*Once convinced of "Xentaroth"'s true identity, the lich returns to the party's side and destroys several mooks. 
*Kruglor returns to the Prime Material Plane, to the detriment of the party's eyes, and Poetry escapes and runs off invisibly again.  Kruglor manages to stay barely alive via rage and the gentle touch of Prince Avimaus.
*More mooks arrive, along with Marcus Fairlan and Sadzuko Udina, as well as Brezcar, standing in a summoning circle about to kill the Prince. 
*Ashra scares the mooks by climbing on top of the HKC and pretending to be Grax.
*Marcus grabs the nearly-dead Baudin and teleports away with him and his amulet piece.
*Claire uses her Necklace of Time Stop to reduce Brezcar's head to jello via judicious use of a crossbow and Manyshot.
*The prince begins to follow Claire out of the Frozen Fate room when Sadzuko runs towards him. 
*The majority of the party descends upon Sadzuko, Ethan blocks his way with a zombie, and Claire (? I think it was Claire) finishes him off.
*The lich walks into the Frozen Fate room and casts Lesser Wish to collapse the ceiling, earning a salute from party members as he accompanies the frozen fates to their final resting place. 
*As the Ruins of Eldergrin begin to crumble, Ethan scoops up Tyro's necklace piece and the party begins to get into Kum-Ba-Ya position to plane shift away before they're killed by falling debris...
*... and the eyes of the statue of High Regent Xentaroth open ...
Episode Seven: Dargon Final Mix 
*Vishnu contacts the party and informs us that all we have to do is last through the night until he can arrive to pick the party up and save them from the encroaching army.
*>< They blew up the staircase that lead back to the reliquary. ... I'm not even sure why anymore.
*Fortunately beforehand, however, Kruglor raced back up the stairs to the secret reliquary door discovered three sessions back.
*He used the anti-hero point he got for... (mumble, mumble), disarmed the summoning spell, and retrieved the legendary shield Ephrasis!
*Oh, now I recall (vaguely). The rest of the party was dealing with some sort of combat that I really didn't care about. Did I mention Kruglor found a secret door?
*We got the prince, the party, and Fab Dick to the top of the stair case. There, we prepared ourselves for a potential Xentaroth encounter.
*Which is exactly what we got. And a new dragon puzzle! It still followed the firm rules of algebra, so therefore only Evan and Ethan knew what was going on. This was a bitch, I one shotted the dragon with my hammer, and... something something... Vladamil. I don't think much else needs to be said.
*Oh! Kruglor nearly died. Everyone was very sad for a second until they realized Vladamil gave the party a +1 circumstance bonus. Hurray!
*Something something, mook soldiers. Something something, fog party.
*Something something, Xentaroth: "Bitch let go of my staff." Ethan: "I'm dropping it." Xentaroth: "Spiiirrriiit Bomb!" Something something, puzzle solved, Vengeful Eye of God fizzled.
*The Throne of Discord burst through the arena floor, we had another chess puzzle which closed the ruins up again.
*We all got in the Jade Kraken III and went up, up and away in Vishnu's awesome balloon.
** Summary: Kruglor was awesome. See attached Quest article. (Guys, we do have a copy of that to scan, right...?)
Episode Eight: Claire no Naku Koro ni
*We were sailing along, minding our own business.
*When suddenly, we all had dreams!
*We woke up, and knew something was going wrong.
*Claire and Herr Doctor were... acting a little funny.
*Ethan and Kruglor took the Cursed Entropic Scythe and put it in the bottom of the lake! (Plane of Water)
*Oh, and there were a few too many spirits in our Entropic Lantern...
*Oh, and Claire and Herr Doctor were crazy (and getting crazier by the minute).
*PVP, cipher-dream-lore-rearrangement puzzle.
*Claire nearly killed Ashra.
*Ethan relied on Kruglor to guard her soul as she Magic Jarred Herr Doctor.
*Vladamil slept through this episode.
*Kruglor nearly ended ALL OF EON by blowing up a FFF Bomb in the ship's kitchen in order to get rid of all the mistletoe. He got a dream that said "avoid the mistletoe", and of course that was exactly the wrong thing to do once we figured out the real message in all of our dreams.
*We figured out the antidote, Fab Dick decided to save Ashra's life for some reason, Claire jumped off the balloon, something something.
*Claire woke up the next day feeling right as rain. Herr Doctor did too when we gave him his antidote. But by then it was 7am IRL on a Saturday and we were ready to kill Ethan of Texas for suggesting the story arc.
*But all in all, it was a worthwhile episode because Claire's memories were unlocked, and she began to discover herself for the very first time... again.
Episode Nine: Squidward, hey, Squidward? 
*After making sure Herr Doctor was okay, we thought we could sail on.
*...Innocently, Ashra realizes she can't hear her own thoughts.
*This is the sign that a party member is possessed/cursed/going insane. Got it memorized?
*We were out of holly and mistletoe.
*A bunch of people did a bunch of things that didn't really amount to anything.
*The heroic Kruglor, in a feat of selfless compassion for his party, decides to brave the multiverse in the search of holly and mistletoe.
*The first plane was the plane of electricity.
*The second plane (with companion Ethan) was a Telemor Laboratory.
*We picked up volumes 6-11 of a giant's biography in becoming a wizard. They were pop-up books, so Kruglor could read them.
*Ethan showered Kruglor with praise and undying (har, har) affection.
*The third plane was the plane of Terrasques. Yes, there were two of them... and mountains.
*It was here revealed by Hobbs that "holly and mistletoe only grow on the material plane", contrary to his earlier hint.
*We continued doing stuff.
*In other news, Ethan of Melvont discovered how to drive Vishnu's dino-copter gundam.
*Vishnu was scratching earlier: he got the red plague.
*Ethan and Vishnu flew to Barrensburg.
*Ethan got holly and mistletoe for Ashra, and ointment for Vishnu from the druid camp.
*Ethan had to drive the gundam back, after learning the primary controls.
*Ethan got out of the gundam upon returning to the ship.
*Kruglor entered the gundam.
*Kruglor rolls the die, using the gundam.
*...And arrives in the Elemental Plane of Water, where he has an epic battle with Herr Doctor over the fate of the Entropic Reaper Scythe.
*The scythe breaks.
*Everything gets mildly resolved.
*We arrive in Barrensburg, where he rent a room and take a few weeks off.
*During this, we have AMAZING GAMBLING ADVENTURES with Niax Hiss.
*Vishnu has fallen very ill to the red plague.
*The party leaves him with Sam, and gives them gold to last the few weeks it will take for ~~Another party of adventurers~~ to come aid Vishnu.
*The party goes into the Underdark.
*The dark latern on the helm of the first ship glows in the darkness.
Category:Personal Accounts