I Want My Unibrow Back/Transcript

Setting: Squilliam's House
Squilliam: [Wakes up] Morning already? [Stretches arms, gets out of bed] Is that a breeze I feel? [Walks past mirror, and soon realizes what had appeared on it] What?! [Quickly returns to the mirror] Where's my unibrow?! [Realizes that it was probably Squidward's way of revenge] Squidward. I should have known.
Setting: Outside Squidward's House
Squilliam: [Bangs on Squidward's door] Open up!
Squidward: [Opens door] Squilliam, what do you- [Begins laughing] What happened to you?!
Squilliam: It isn't funny!
Squidward: [Begins laughing even louder]
Squilliam: Listen, Squidward, I know that your the culpret behin this! [Points to where his unibrow used to be]
Squidward: No, but I wish I was!
Squilliam: If it wasn't you then it was... SpongeBob. [Walks over to SpongeBob's house]
Setting: Outside SpongeBob's House
Squilliam:[Bangs on SpongeBob's door]
SpongeBob: [Opens door] Squilliam? What happened to you?
Squilliam: I don't have time for this! Have you, or have you not seen my unibrow?
SpongeBob: I haven't seen your unibrow, but have you seen Patrick's new hairdo?
Patrick: [Appears on the scene]
Squilliam: [Realizes that Patrick's hairdo is identical to his unibrow] Patrick?! That's mine! [Rips off Patrick's hairdo]
Patrick: Hey?! It took a week to grow that! [Jerks the hairdo out of Squilliam's hand's]
Squilliam: Wait, a second. It only took a week to grow that?
Patrick: Yeah, I just used some hair tonic.
Squilliam: [Grabs Patrick] Patrick, where did you get that hair tonic?!
Patrick: If you want some I have the can right here. [Hands Squilliam the hair tonic]
Squilliam: Yes!
Police Officer: Excuse me, sir. You're going to have to come with me. [Handcuff's Squilliam]
Squilliam: What did I do?
Police Officer: This can of hair tonic was reported stolen from the Bargn' Mart earlier today.
Squilliam: Patrick, where exactly did you say you got this?
Patrick: Oh, some guy in a black van gave it to me for free, as long as I guaranteed him fifty percent of my prize money if I win. [Snickers] What a sucker.
Squilliam: Patrick?! You were willing to give away five-hundred thousand dollars for a can of hair tonic?!
Patrick: That's how much fifty percent is? I thought it was two cents.
Squilliam: Two cents?!
Police Officer: Wait, was the man driving a black van... like that one? [Points to a man loading boxes into the back of a black van]
Patrick: That's him!
Police Officer: Well, in that case. [Takes handcuff's off of Squilliam, and puts them on the conman]
Squilliam: I'm free! [Applies hair tonic]
Patrick: Give me that! [Grabs the hair tonic, and walks over to the conman] The deal's off, and you can take back your hair tonic! [Hands the conman the hair tonic]
Conman: But this can's empty.
Patrick: So?
Conman: Does this mean that I don't get my five hundred thousand dollars if you win?
Patrick: Read my lips. [Grabs a marker, and writes the word "no" on his lips]
Conman: Please! Give me another chance!
Squilliam: Get out of here! [Realizes that his unibrow has grown back] Huh? My unibrow?! It's back!
Patrick: Yeah, that stuff works like a charm.
Police Officer: Watch your head sir. [Places the con man in the back seat of his vehicle]
Squilliam: Wait a minute. If Squidward didn't take my unibrow, and SpongeBob didn't do it then... who did?
Gary: [Exits SpongeBob's house wearing Squilliams unibrow] Meow.
The End
Category:Transcripts