Joshua & Xandra’s Wedding

== Transcript ==
== Getting Souvenirs ==
Xandra: “Lets look how many souvenirs are there”
Alexandria: “This is full of shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Bernice: "ALEXANDRIA HAYARA KEATON!!!!!!!!!!"
(Alexandria throws souvenirs in the trash)
Rowan: "Mom!"
Bernice: "Yes?"
Rowan: "My cousin want an either Mercedes station wagon, or the BMW A, or the Maserati convertible."
Bernice: "That's nice."
(The staff picks up the souvenirs that Alexandria threw in the trash)
== Youtube Videos ==
Rowan: “EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Polly: “SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Helga: “WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Joelle: “BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Rowan: “ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!”
== Video Games ==
Ron: “I Am Having A Gobstopper Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Joelle: “FUCK YOU XANDRA YOU ARE HORRIBLE AT VIDEO GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Helga: “YOU LOOK STUPID AT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES XANDRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
== In The RV ==
[Everyone screams]
Helga, Joelle, and Polly: “JASON VOORHEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Clove, Sage, and Wolf: “FREDDY KRUEGER IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Spencer and Oil: “PLEASE DO NOT HURT ME CHUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
[Joshua starts playing Under The Influence by Eminem]
Joelle: ”THIS MUSIC SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU TURN IT OFF?!?!?!?!?!?!!”
Joshua: “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Bernice: “LET THEM LISTEN TO EMINEM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!”
(car crash sound effect is heard)
Bernice: "DANG IT!!!!!!!!! I JUST CRASHED THE CAR!!!!!!!!! NOW I HAVE A LOSS OF A LOVED ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bernice: "Im Gonna Kill Kids"
== At The Tent ==
[Everyone screams]
== Wedding Reception ==
[Joshua, Xandra, Gretchen, Ron, Katie, Glenn, Coraline, Sakura, Mako, Mei Lin, Wolf, Lori, Bonzo, Joey, Perry, and Bill look at the menu]
Joelle, Helga, and Polly: “Yuck that’s not Pizza!!!!!!!!!”
Bernice: “Try them!!!!!!!!”
Rowan: “Me too that’s not Raviolli!!!!!!!!!!”
Jillian: “Try it Rowan!!!!!!!!”
[Joelle, Helga, Polly, Rowan, Christine, Jay, Clover, Sage, Wolf, Anna, Jessie, Alexandria, Logan, Collin, Becca, Spencer, Oli, Michaela, Lois, and Wanda spit their food out]
== The Kids ruin the wedding ==
Nicole: “Then some of the kids ruined it”
Joelle: FUCK YOU JOSHUA & XANDRA!!!!!!
Helga: YEAH JOSHUA & XANDRA!!!! YOU LOOK STUPID!!!!!
Polly: SHUT UP YOU, MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH
Rowan: SHUT UP, JOSHUA YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!
Christine: I WILL KILL BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!!!
Jay: FUCK OFF I AM LEAVING!!!!!!!!
Clover: SHUT UP!!!!!!
Sage: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
Wolf: I DON’T WANNA!!!!!!!!
Al: “BYE BYE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Jackson: THIS WEDDING IS TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joel: YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!”
Anna: LET"S GO HOME!!!!!!!!
Jessie: I HATE EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!
Alexandria: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Logan: SHUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH!!!!!!!!
Collin: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!
Becca: I DON’T LIKE IT!!!!!!!
Spencer: YOU SMELL LIKE PEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Oli: I HATE WEDDINGS!!!!!!!!!!!
Michaela: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!
Lois:FUCK OFF I HATE YOU JOSHUA!!!!!!!!
Wanda: I HATE YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Helga changes the music to Harry Potter Soundtrack]
Bonzo: ”We blocked those off the playlist!!!!!!!!!!”
Bernice: “Helga Susanna Keaton!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
[Bonzo changes the music back and deletes the Harry Potter Soundtrack]
[Clove changes the music to Last Friday Night by Missy Eillott]
[Becca changes the music to S&M by Rihanna]
[Logan changes the music to Fuck The Police by NWA]
[Spencer changes the music to America Fuck Yeah by Trey Parker]
[Spencer stabs Joshua in the stomach]
[Helga stabs Joshua in the face]
[Logan stabs Joshua in the neck]
[Michaela stabs Joshua in the abdomen]
[Al, Jackson, and Joel stab Joshua in the arm]
[Becca stabs Joshua in both his left and right legs]
[Polly smashes Joshua’s pelvis, humerus, femur, spine, tibia, and fibia]
[Jay force-feeds Joshua alcohol]
[Joelle force-feeds Joshua drugs]
[Collin puts a cherry bomb in the cake and the wedding cake explodes]
Xandra: “Oh No!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Coraline: ”I Have A Spare Cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
== Wedding Aftermath ==
=== Police Arrest Rowan and Alexandria ===
[Rowan starts playing Fuck The Police by NWA]
[Police start covering ears]
=== The Children Are In Trouble ===
cut to:
Bernice: HELGA SUSANNA KEATON!!!! JOELLE SANDRA KEATON & POLLYANNA CLAUDIA KEATON!!!!!!!!! YOUR BEHAVIOR AT JOSHUA & XANDRA’S WEDDING WAS ABYSMAL!!!!!!!! BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION CAMP FOR ALL OF YOU NOW!!!!!!!!! LET"S GO HOME NOW!!!!!!!!
Jillian: ROWAN GARRET IKIN!!!!!! YOUR BEHAVIOR AT THE WEDDING WAS A DISASTER!!!!!!! WE ARE GOING HOME NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Daniel: LOGAN MARCELLO NEWBURY!!!!!! YOU DO NOT RUIN THE WEDDING!!!!! GO HOME NOW!!!!!
Frank: LOIS MARIE KIEJLICHES & WANDA DAPHNE KIEJLICHES!!!!!! YOUR BEHAVIOR AT THE WEDDING CEREMONY WAS UNACCEPTABLE!!!!! WE ARE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!
== At The Hospital ==
== The Parents Decide That The Kids Are Going To BMC ==
=== Bernice’s Decision ===
Bernice: I have Helga who is 8, Joelle who is 6, Polly who is 4 and Belle who is 2 years old, Belle is well behaved, Helga fails school because she didn’t do her homework, swears, listens to explicit songs, and she was expelled from 200 schools, Joelle swears, knocks things over, and also demands for candy & toys, Polly is the worst behaved, she bites, pulls someone else’s hair, swears, throws toys and runs across the house naked, it was just because they were unable to handle losing their father Jared in a beheading accident.
=== Marc and Nina’s Decision ===
Nina: “I have Buffy who is 9, Clove who is 7, Sage who is 5, and Wolf who is 4, Buffy is well behaved, Clove and Sage scream, pinch, bite, swear, and fight, Wolf is the worst behaved, he refuses to eat, throws tantrums, screams, kicks, swears, hits, throws things, and breaks things,
== Boarding The Bus To BMC ==
Delia German: “Hello, children. Tell me your names?”
== The Adults Get Calls ==
=== Bernice’s Call ===
Delia German: “Your daughters are machines of demons!!!!! Pick them up now!!!!!!!”
Bernice: "But it was the perfect place for their behavior."
Delia German: “They blew up the facility, ran across the halls naked, peed on the statues & shouted bad words!!!!!!!!!”
=== Jillian’s Call ===
Delia German: Your son Rowan is a demon!!!! Pick him up now!!!!!!
Delia German: He blew up the facility!!!!!!
=== Willow’s Call ===
Delia German: Your daughter is worse than Orla Birou
Delia German: She set fire to the school and shouted very bad words
=== John & Jennifer‘s Call ===
Delia German: Mr Burb!!!!! Your son Jay set fire to the school and was able to shout profanity
=== Marc & Nina’s Call ===
Delia German: Your children blew the school up to shout profanity
=== Nicole & Paul’s Call ===
=== Orla & James Call ===
Delia German: Way worse than Orla Birou!!!!!! She blew it up, She even stabbed an officer and shouted bad words as well
=== Lyndsey‘s Call ===
Delia German: She set the school on fire with the ability to shout bad words
=== Daniel & Lexi’s Call ===
Delia German: Your children are monsters!!!!! Pick them up now!!!!!!
Delia German: They set the school on fire, shouted bad words, harassed a little girl, stabbed an officer, punched an officer, duct -aped a boy's mouth and peed on the statues!!!!!
=== Paula & Michael’s Call ===
Delia German: Your son is out of control and you have to pick him up!!!!!
Michael: “I do not get it, It was gonna improve his behavior.”
Delia German: He set fire to the building, shouted bad words & peed on the statues
== The Adults Get Tough ==
=== Bernice gets tough with the girls ===
Bernice: “Military School For You.”
=== Rowan gets childed ===
=== Christine gets in trouble ===
=== John and Jennifer are angry with Jay ===
John: I cannot believe you ruined it. Jay!
Jennifer: GET UPSTAIRS TO YOUR ROOM!!!!
=== Clove, Sage, and Wolf get in serious trouble ===
=== Orla and James get furious ===
Orla:
=== Daniel and Lexi’s anger rises ===
=== Paula and Michael’s other choices ===
Category:Wedding Transcripts
Category:Transcripts
Category:Unfinished Transcripts
Category:Behavior Modification Camp Transcripts
Category:Joshua and Friends Transcripts
Category:Bone Break Transcripts
Category:Laceration Transcripts
Category:Hospital Transcripts
Category:Arrest Transcripts
Category:Attempted Murder Transcripts
Category:Controversial Transcripts
Category:Tough Love Transcripts