(S1) Chapter 19: At Doom’s Gate

“Agh this is rubbish! How come Ares got a whole chapter to himself?!” asked Papaya182 angrily. His teeth were grit together and his hands were in fists. “He’s a cool guy but how the fuck are we supposed to beat HAM if we aren’t allowed time in the plot?!”
Everyone was silent. No one felt like listening to papaya rant. In fact, I don’t even wanna hear it. So I’m just gonna say that he ranted and raved and lost his shit.
“FUCK YOU, LET THEM HEAR MY RANT!!,” Papaya182 yelled annoyingly. Yeah so papaya, you guys have already gotten a LOT of story-time. There’s only gonna be like what, one or two more chapters of this OPtale stuff anyways, so just get over it.
“NO, I DON’T CARE, GIVE US STORYTIME!” No lmao, get scene-changed bozo.
||| A really cool transition, just to piss Papaya182 off |||
Athena glared at Hades as she roughly dragged Aphordite Frisk. Hades Chara had a smug look on his face, one which only made Athena angrier. After getting closer to Hades’s throne, she harshly threw Aphrodite to the ground. Ow.
“Listen here you fucking creep, I’m only here because Asgore told me to drop off this little freak here. It goes without saying that I and the other gods want nothing to do with you, so I’m dropping her off here and leaving.” undyne said angrily. Hades’s expression only got smugger, making her yet more pissed.
“Aw c’mon Athena, I was gonna have some breakfast-supper tonight. Look, I know how much ya love breakfast, so why don’t you stay a-“ Hades was cut off by a spear almost hitting him in the fuckin face. Jesus Undyne, calm down.
“Alright alright, I get the picture, calm down. I swear, no one ever wants to have supper with me, smh…” Hades chara shook his head and diverted his attention to Aphordite frisk. “Crazy shit huh?” She didn’t answer.
“No answer? Nothin? Damn, well, your mine as of now because king fuck-around told me to watch you.” said Hades. Aphrodite frisk was confused and a little annoyed.
“What exactly are you going to do with me? Where’s Ares?” Hades’s grin changed into a slightly annoyed frown.
“I’d bargain your little boyfriend is probably getting singed in the labs up above. And you know, something weird happened today. King Fluffy-Fuck told me to beat the snot outta Ares should he ever wander down here. I decided I’d just go along with it because I don’t see why not and it’s just easier than putting up with those self righteous dicks on Mt. Olympus. As for what I’m gonna do with ya? I’m gonna be real honest with: I don’t got a clue. Like, by all means, go for a walk or somethin while I think about it because I don’t have a damn clue what to do with you.” Hades said.
“So you captured me and took me to the deepest depths of the underworld….with no plan in mind?” questioned Aphrodite. Hades just shrugged his shoulders and stood up.
“Well yeah. It was a rather sudden call Y’know? I didn’t really have time ta plan, I was just told ta babysit ya. So on that note, you wanna like, watch fail army or somethin?” Hades asked. Sounds like a good idea, i personally would do it. See? Aphordite even agrees with me. She’s nodding in agreement.
“Alright sweet. I’ll go make popcorn” Hades got up and made his way to his kitchen to make popcorn while Aphrodite frisk was escorted to the living room by some of Hades’s guards.
||| Let’s see how Harrus and Hephaestus are doing |||
Contrary to the fiery hellscape that surrounded them last chapter, Ares and Hephaestus were in a cold, gloomy, ginormous cavern. The cavern was illuminated by the blue and purple glows of the souls in the River Styx, which was ahead of them. There was a cloaked guy riding a dog-shaped ferry across the river. Oh shit, it’s Charon.
“Oh. It’s you two. Look, listen. I can’t give you a ride. Boss’s orders.” Charon said quickly. He wanted nothing to do with whatever conflict there was between these two and Hades.
“Alright then, give us the boat.” Ares asked firmly. Charon backed away and shook his head. He picked up the paddle and got ready to whack somebody with it.
“Look, I don’t want trouble, but I can’t help you two, ok? Hades’ll kill me!” Charon backed away. He knew that no matter what side he took, he’d get his ass beaten. Suddenly though, Hephaestus had an idea.
“I have an idea. It’s gonna require you getting a little hurt though. We can make you look all roughed up and pretend like we actually hurt you. The only way we’re gonna actually hurt you though is by giving you a black eye. The rest can just be done by you rolling around the ground and making yourself all dirty.” Hephaestus said.
“I see….well, anything that isn’t me being beaten to death is fine. Let’s just get this over with.” Charon said. Charon held his arms out and head up, ready to take the hit. Hephaestus held his arm back and lightly punched Charon in the eye. Charon staggered back a bit and held his eye.
“Oh shit, are you ok Charon? I can get a-“ Papaya was interrupted by Charon getting up and shaking his head.
“No no I’m fine. I’ll be ok. I’ll just lay on the ground and watch some Mario64 speedruns. If I hear someone important coming, I’ll just pretend to be hurt. You two take my boat and paddle. Most importantly, good luck. You’ll need it.” said Charon.
Ares nodded and picked up the paddle. He examined it, taking in all the elaborate details of it. Wow, this shit was fancy. It all sortsa cool carvings on it and was made of this really durable wood. Yeah, good thing they didn’t fight. This thing woulda hurt.
“Thanks Charon! We’ll come back for you once we’re done!” Hephaestus papyrus said, excitedly sprinting towards the boat.
“You’re very welcome. Good luck, heroes.” Charon responded. He turned over and found a video he liked. He was just chillin. Ares hopped on with Hephaestus and they started going through the River Styx.
All throughout their journey, the gleaming faces of many illuminated the cavern. They all illuminated with gloomy shades of green, blue, and purple. They all looked agonized too. The Greek gods WERE assholes, jeez. These are just normal people, why are they in such a horrible realm?
“Wow sans…this is terrible. You think maybe when we’re done with Hades, we can make this place better?” Hephaestus asked. Ares stroked his chin and took a seat in the boat.
“I don’t see why not. It could definitely use a shining up...oh Jesus, there’s children in this river.” Said ares. He was disgusted with how the gods dealt with the souls of the dead. He felt terrible for these guys. Some of them were really good people, yet they ended up here because they weren’t warriors or something. That’s just plain unfair.
“Wha- oh. I see the end” Hephaestus said, point to a massive, red door. “Wanna guess what that leads to?” 
“I’ll take a shot in the dark and say Heaven” Harrus said sarcastically, prompting Hephaestus to grin. “Alright, let’s our weapons ready. There’s probably a demon in every nook and cranny of this place that wants to tear us to shreds.” Ares said, pulling out his spear. Hephaestus whipped out his ginormous stone hammers. Hephaestus papyrus slammed them into the ginormous door, making it fall off its hinges.
Behind the door was an even more fiery hellscape than the one above them. Demons and the souls of many being tortured decorated the abhorrent realm. You know, the usual evil guy’s realm. There was an entire army of infernal monsters beating up horrible people. Oh, there was also a big rock on the horizon. Hades’s castle was probably up there.
Suddenly, music filled the air. It was heavy metal music. Wait, oh shit, it’s doom music. As the music was building up, the demons directed their attention to the crew. They stopped torturing whoever they were torturing and let out an array of demonic sounds. Ares looked at Hephaestus, who was looking right back at him.
“Rip and tear….” Said Hephaestus.
“Until it’s done.” Said Ares, as electricity swirled around his spear.
Ares cocked back his hand and chucked his spear at a large demon far away. It was got the bastard right in the head, causing it to collapse to the ground, dead. Ares and Hephaestus then leapt down towards a group of demons, who were hastily running towards them. Hephaestus crushed three of them with his comically large hammers while Ares threw a large array of bones at a bunch in the distance. Suddenly, a towering, horrifying, Lovecraftian beast stood before them. Oh no, is that a hecthonk- uh, hexkerton- fuck, heckajohnchris- HECKAPOUNF- fuck it, 100 armed demon. It wielded a large axe and looked pretty sturdy. It let out a roar and swung its axe at the two. Hephaestus raised up one of his hammers to block the swing. Ares rose his hand and struck the creature with a lightning bolt, which killed it.
Yeah you know this fight’s kinda unfair. The demons are only just roadblocks you know? Like, it’s a buncha magical assholes and giants vs UNIVERSE SHAKING GODS. Gee, I wonder who wins?
Ares picked up a giant rock nearby with telekinesis and chucked it at a large group of demons, instantly squashin em. There weren’t really that many left. I guess most left because hades didn’t pay them jack shit. The remaining demons just shot fiery arrows at them, prompting Ares and Hephaestus to hide behind a rock. Oh wait, I think Hephaestus has a cool idea.
“Hey sans, watch this.” Hephaestus took the rock they were hiding behind and quickly turned it into a big shield with his epic craftsmanship skillz. Ares and Hephaestus rammed into the demons with the shield, rocketing them back. Ares grabbed the shield and slammed it so hard o to the remaining demons that it shattered. Gah damn.
“That was honestly really easy. I don’t get why the other gods are so scared of this place.” Hephaestus said, stroking his chin.
“I don’t know. They’re all confusing assholes, I wouldn’t worry ponder over it for too long. Besdies, now we have to get up that comically giant rock and get to Hades’s castle” Said Ares, pointing to a very comically large rock. It’s so incredibly big I can’t even describe it. I, the author, am looking up at it and STILL can’t see the top.
||| Let’s focus on the castle atop that large rock for a moment, shall we? |||
Hades sat at the dinner table, reclined back while Aphrodite sat down, on high alert. As disorganized and awkward as this Hades fella was, she couldn’t tell if he had somethin up his sleeve or not. Oh also, you might be thinking this is some elaborate dining room full of fancy furniture since it’s in a fucking castle that belongs to a god. You’d be wrong actually. It’s just a dining room and kitchen combined, specifically one you’d fine in an average apartment. A rather simple room. It’s the simple things that count though, y’know?
“Say Frisk, you look really nice today.” Woah what the fuck. Why is hades flirting with frisk?
“What? Are you trying to hit on me or something? Shit Hades, I might be naïve and oblivious, but I’m the literal goddess of love. Are you seriously falling for me? Do you honestly think I have feelings for you after you had me kidnapped and you sent your lackeys after Ares and Hephaestus?” Frisk went off on Hades.
Hades frowned. There was no way in hell (haha, get it, because they’re in Tartarus? I’m soooo fucking hilarious) this was going to work. Hades is a slimy asshole. No one likes him. I don’t even like him. Fuck that guy. Seriously thought he can pull off Aphrodite. Who is this guy, bowser? Hah, dumbass!
“Yeesh Aphrodite I was just complimenting ya. I cooked some breakfast for dinner tonight. Figured you’d be hun- hey, what’s that noise?” A large clamor could be heard as the castle shook. A guard rushed in, informing that him that Ares and Hephaestus were there. They did it, they climbed atop the comically tall rock! The flame on Hades’s head ignited red as he grit his teeth.
“Fucking hell, I didn’t even get to eat my dinner!! Dog, can you at least give me THAT?!” Hades turned to a two-headed white “dog” that just seemed to magically appear. One had the head of skeletor, the other of hyperealistic Patrick. Imma be honest with you, it’s just me and reaper.
“Yeah no, we’re not allowing you that you fucking creep. I really don’t think you deserve that.” I said. Hades grabbed his chair and chucked it at the wall angrily. The chair broke. Anger issues bit much?
“COME ON! AT LEAST JUST A BITE?” Hades asked. Reaper just looked at him with a mix of annoyance and disgust.
“Listen here you fucking dumbass. Do you want your dialogue? Huh? Yeah, you do. Do you want this story to go on so you can keep existing? Yeah, you do. So shut the fuck up and let Cliche finish writing the chapter would you?” Reaper asked. Hades crossed his arms and pouted like a little bitch.
“Fine whatever. I’ll go sit on my throne menacingly and wait for them to come in. Come on frisk.” Hades muttered as he picked up frisk with telekinesis and made his way over to the throne room. Me and reaper just rolled out eyes and got back to narrating the story. Hey, should I put a scene separator here?
“Stop breaking the fourth wall.” Reaper said sternly. Fine, whatever. Scene separator.
||| Batman ass Transition |||
“Sans, look at this. Holy shit, it’s BOWSER’S CASTLE WHAT THE FUCK?!” said Hephaestus, gazing at Hades’s castle. So funny story, Bowser and Hades!Chara both went to the same castle-building-place, right? And the people behind the place got the blue prints mixed up. So bowser has a more menacing castle now while Hades just has a spiky shell castle lmao.
“Wow! that’s kinda funny actually. I was expecting this ginormous, flaming castle with lava pouring out of it.” Ares started laughing. Mfer got the Super Mario Bros DS bowser castle lmaooooo. So yeah they entered the castle and PFFFFFF, IS THAT A FUCKING DRY BONES?! OH MY GOD, IT IS LITERALLY JUST BOWSER’S CASTLE TO A TEE!
“This is the last thing I expected. This is genuinely hilarious. Hey Papyrus, watch this,” Ares said as a speedrunner counter appeared on the top lefthand corner of the screen. Holy shit, ARES IS SPEEDRUNNING THE CASTLE. WOAH MY GUY’S DOING IT NO POWER-UP AND EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT HE’S ALREADY IN THE ROOM BEFORE THE THRONE ROOM WOAH!
Oh and Hephaestus just used /tp @s AresSans333. It was a very underwhelming castle. Both me and these two were expecting this place with powerful guards and traps worthy of tricking and/or trapping literal Greek gods, but nah. We just got bowser’s castle. Hephaestus took out one of his massive hammers and whammed it into the throne room door, making it fly off its hinges and barely miss hades.
“GOOD KHAOS YOU GUYS GOT HERE QUICKLY! Alright well, you’re finally here. I take it Zeus!Asgore musta told you two to come and get me, huh? Well listen here buckeroo, I- uh, I actually have no idea what Zeus’s plan is actually. He just told undyne to drop of your precious little girlfriend here.” Hades said, point to frisk, who was in the same cage Princess Peach was in. Again, this really is just bowser’s castle. Seeing this made Ares go from amused by this silly castle to angry, so he tried rushing towards the cage but it just ascended to God knows where.
“Nu-uh-uh! If you want Aphrodite back, forget about it! You’d have to get through me first, and that’s just simply impos-“ I hate Hades so much I won’t even let him finish his monologue. Me and Ares both agreed to that, so Ares decided to just chuck his spear at Hades, which impaled em right in the eye.
“OH! FUCK! OW! YOU- I WAS- I WAS FUCKING MONOLOGUING! WE WERE IN A CUTSCENE HOW’D YOU DO THAT?!” Hades yelled as he held his eye. Ares just shrugged and made the spear return into his hand.
“Me and Hephaestus have come a long way. We don’t feel like listening to your monologue.” Based Ares.
“Fine, whatever! If you want to duke it out, then let’s do it!” Hades growled. Suddenly fire began falling from the ceiling. It engulfed the area around them and lit up the room with a fiery, red gleam. This fire also engulfed hades, giving him the appearance of a fiery humanoid with burning, white eyes. Very scary. Ares took out his spear and channeled a fuckton of lightning into it. Energy wafted around Hephaestus’s hammers too. Shit was about to get real, cue some boss music.
Hades sent a massive wave of fire towards the two that swirled around them. Ares and Hephaestus upped their guard and shielded themselves from the flames with their arms. The fire left some pretty nasty burns on their arms, but they were relatively fine. This did however prompt Hephaestus to make shields for him and Ares out of some of the room’s pillars.
Ares sprinted towards hades, blocking rays of fire with his shield. After getting close to Hades, he slammed the shield into his head and kicked him in the guts. Hades fell over and bonked his head on the floor. Hades rolled to the right to evade Ares’s spear that he slammed downward and got back up. He stopped Hephaestus’s hammer slamming down upon him with one finger and blasted Ares with fire with the other. He gettin mad.
Ares staggered back and rose the shield in front of him. Hades thrusted the hammer up and kicked Hephaestus aside. Hades was gettin ready to scorch Ares and Hephaestus when a thunderbolt struck him. Ares got em!
Hades was rocketed back and collided with the wall. Hephaestus took his other hammer out of his inventory and rapidly slammed them into hades. Hades eventually got tired of having hammers slammed into him, so he unleashed a shockwave that knocked Hephaestus back. He grabbed one of the hammers that Hephaestus dropped and readied to slam it on Hephaestus before having to use said hammer to block a blaster from Ares. Hades lifted the hammer above his head and slammed it down on Hephaestus, hitting him pretty hard and breaking a few of his ribs.
“You two put up a good fight, but I’m OBVIOUSLY going to be the winner!” Hades said mockingly as he made the room heat up. Ares went to punch Hades, but he was too quick and Ares grabbed him by the arm. He slammed him into the ground and blasted the fuck out of him with some fire. Before Ares could get up, BOOM! A ball of hellfire slammed into him. Ares struggled to get up as fireballs continued to be pelted at him. But he managed, refusing to be bested by this poor excuse of a god.
Hades pelted a fireball at Ares, distracting him. While Ares was distracted, Hades had the bright idea of slamming his fist into the floor of the throne room, utterly destroying the castle and the ginormous rock it was on. Holy shit. Ares and Hephaestus floated down while Hades did the same, making Aphrodite float down with him with telekinesis.
“You know, I never liked that castle anyways. Anyways, I have a little friend who’ll absolutely SKULL-DRAG you two! OH CHRONOS!!” Hades yelled. Wait, Chronos?! Oh fuck! That rock was there to keep chronos locked up?! Ares noticed the metallic platform underneath him and saw it slowly begin to move open. It was a covering for some ginormous chamber. From the chamber arose an absolutely MASSIVE FLOWER. It looked mad pissed. It was Chronos Flowey.
“You finally woke me up…just so I could help you fight these two? You incompetent fuck! You’re supposed to be one of the main three gods! And what makes you think I’m on YOUR side?! You helped lock me up and only woke me up because you were losing. Fuck you!” Damn, even Chronos flowey hates Hades.
“B-but Chronos, look, I’ll give ya anything ya want. I’ll get you out-“ Hades was cut off by Chronos literally eating him. At least HE’s gone. A large pillar of red and black energy rose above and around Chronos. He was powered up from all that hades power. Before even getting to showcase his power, he was already far more formidable now.
“Oh? And what else do we have here? We have Ares, the reject of the gods, and Hephaestus, the BIGGER reject of the gods! This is the best Olympus could send? Hah, how pathetic. I must say though, you look a little different Ares. Well, no matter. I’m goijg to consume the essence of you two and absorb your powers, allowing me to overthrow Zeus and become the father god I always deserved to be!” Flowey said as he towered above the crew. He was charging up a colossal laser in his mouth when suddenly, an overwhelming bolt of thunder fell down upon the three of them.
Ares and Hephaestus raised their shields up in time to block it, but Chronos was too big to dodge jack shit and got hit. The three of them looked up and saw Zeus asgore, surrounded by electricity. He wielded his trident and was wearing battle armor. A menacing aura surrounded the thunder deity.
“Good work boys, but I’m afraid I no longer have a use for you two. I am very sorry, but I’m goin to have to slay you two alongside this floral abomination.” Asgore said as he lifted his trident into the air. Electricity bursted from the trident, showering down upon the area below him. This would be a battle that would shake all of OPtale.
Category:Season 1
Category:Written by Cliche
Category:Story
Category:Canon
Category:Episodes