Fartsmella73

Fartsmella73, or Michael, is a member of the Discord server. He plays as Gamzee Makara, and can usually be seen with Trapbros.
Codpiece Gamzee is the pope of the Candy Cult.
== Biography ==
=== 612 ===
V612 is the timeline that Michael was born in. His father is Kankri Vantas, and Rufioh Nitram babysat him. Michael is, obviously, a high blood, despite his father being lower on the spectrum. This is due to not only the fact that these timelines' reproduction methods are more of a Russian roulette when it comes to blood color being chosen, but because clowns are the main followers of the Candy cult, him being a descendant of the Candy God due to Kankri's candy blood.
==== Backstory ====
Michael didn't want to kill Trapbros, begging him to forget the fact that he murdered Kankri Vantas and Jade Harley, asking if he would just go raise him back home. When he refused, Michael killed Trapbros, leaving him alone in the home that his family once resided in. Out of grief, he created the happy fun time serum, made of the blood of Kankri, Jade's mom, and the McDonald's sussy meal burger juice. He injected this into candy and ate it, as the drugs got rid of the voices of the people that he killed. The drugs messed with his thinkpan and made him less intelligent, but the violent tendencies never left. Somewhere along the way, Michael discovered the way of the Candy God and decided to form a cult, which gained a small following. Somewhere along the way, he suddenly had the urge to have sex with his dead babysitter, Rufioh. This was most likely a result of some form of daddy issues or lack of knowledge about romance.
One day, he prays to the Candy God and begs to go back to his babysitters/chosen family before he murdered them, mainly because he wants to see Trapbros (he still hates Kankri). Choosing to fulfill his wish after years of faith, the Candy God incites the first Pee Tornado. However, the Candy God works in mysterious ways, so instead of getting sent back in time, he got sent to a different timeline where he never existed and could sneak in on the Vamporas' lives.
=== 413 ===
==== Early Candy Cult ====
When Michael first entered the v413 timeline, he began luring kids into his van with candy to beat them up, then brought them to the court church and pretended to do a Candy ritual as an excuse to hit them. He kept doing that until the cult grew another small following. He gave many sermons as the Candy Pope, and Roxy Lalonde was the Candy Executioner. They ran around and killed people unless they swore to repent to the Candy God. Later on, they found the Candy God and worshipped them, and Michael prayed his ass off for Roxy to be revived after he got sick and presumably died in the hospital.
==== Balls vs Candy War ====
The Balls vs Candy war went down right before Judgement Day, and Emoscratchyy was the leader of the balls. They had a literal army with them since they hated the cult, and Roxy and the Candy God fought it somewhere while Michael was preaching in the church. They had spies at one point, although they were there from the very beginning, the suspects being Dave and Glittergirl. He continually attempted to feed Glittergirl the Candy, but every time they were offered, they ran away. Glittergirl would periodically show up at the Candy Church and act secretive, saying things like "people are spying on you and I know some traitors." Michael told them to tell him everything or he'd kill them, but they just ran away after he beat them with the racket.
==== Judgement Day ====
On Judgement Day, the Cult gathered everyone in the server into the church and Michael preached to them for around an hour, picking people out of the crowd to get up on the podium and say some words. At some point, he recruited Godtier Jake to be his hype man/altar boy, since his sick raps were otherworldly. 
Everyone got in line before the Candy God, and were chosen for Heaven or Hell. The only person to get sent to hell was Trapbros.
God gave all of them fly powers and they ascended to the giant candy plate in the sky, where a countdown started. They all freaked out, but Michael reassured them by saying that they would finally be one with the Candy. At the end of the countdown, everyone fucking died and they all went to heaven.
The day after Judgement day, they tried to hold a small sermon but nobody was present, and that's when God turned everything in the server green. They played the Dream Mask song instead of Elevatorstuck, and turned one of the roads rainbow.
==== Iced Bulge Arc ====
Cronus meets Michael and Rufioh at the local gas station. Rufioh offers him an ice cream cone, to which Michael asks if he put anything special in it. Cronus conducts a taste test and says it tastes like caramel, then quickly adds that it also tastes of cinnamon. Michael realizes Rufioh "cheated on him" by ejaculating in the ice cream and left to the park, where he cries on the swings.
Rufioh and Michael argue at the park while Cronus observes. Michael watches in silence as Rufioh proceeds to feed Cronus ice cream drenched in his tit milk, resulting in it burning the latter's mouth upon consumption. Michael decides the interaction was pitch enough for him to not have to intervene, so he leaves to cry into a pissjar.
He gets distracted and takes a slight detour, Michael quickly finding himself occupied himself with drinking gasoline at the gas station, all while lamenting about how high gas prices were nowadays. Rufioh approaches him and apologizes for supposedly cheating on him, following it up with the dreaded question; whether or not he can pitch pail with Cronus. Michael agrees, but only if it's pitch. Rufioh leaves for the park again.
After they pail, Rufioh briefly ceases to exist. During the period in which he's gone, Cronus and Michael bump Insane Clown Posse together on the swings. Cronus pole dances and Michael stares with heart eyes at him in a non-cheating way. However, a photo gets taken and Michael is framed for cheating by Cronus on an anonymous account on the Sollux app (Discord). Rufioh comes back to the news and cries, running to the yellow house, which Cronus supposedly owns, as mentioned by him later on. Glittergirl breaks in and searches the house using a tracker, but is unable to find Rufioh. Michael comes to Cronus' house and he gets lied to, being told nobody else was in the house. After a brief conversation, Michael dejectedly leaves, presumably to search elsewhere.
Glitter gives Michael their tracker and they search the house together. Cronus tells them not to look in the rooms, because they have his pail toys in them. Glitter notes that Rufioh is probably in one of the closets, so they look there, first in the master bedroom then again in one of the guest rooms. Michael finds Rufioh, but Cronus lies and says it's a body pillow/sex doll with a voicebox. He and Glittergirl buy the fib and leave. Rufioh leaves the house to go and apologize to Michael after receiving advice from Cronus, keeping up the lie that he didn't know what Michael was talking about when he mentioned a closet.
Everyone hangs out in the park, and at some point, Rufioh disappears once again. Michael and Cronus' cars have car-sex against the movie theatre. Rufioh catches them, accusing Michael of cheating on him, to which Michael brings up the screenshots, saying Cronus posted them on the Sollux App. Cronus feigns innocence and Jade admits to doing it on a private account, for the sole reason that she wanted to spice things up. Jade and Tavros get into a fight, and she pushes him off the treehouse. He breaks his legs and goes to the hospital, where Cronus tends to his wounds and gives him a wheelchair. Michael and Bro Strider are present in the room while this happens, and Cronus picks a fight with Bro, then takes a nap on the operating table. Bro pokes him to make sure he's not dead, causing his water to break, and he gives birth to a child that Michael promptly eats right after delivery. He then gives birth to Baby Dirk, who Michael also tries to eat, but Cronus shields the newborn and runs away.
== Personality and Traits ==
Stupid.
== Relationships ==
=== Trapbros ===
They've been married twice, but never officially nor legally divorced.
=== Eridan Ampora ===
Fuckbuddy. Human hate-married.
=== Kankri Vantas ===
Michael hates Kankri because he's British and gay. Hypocritical, considering he's gay himself.
=== Baby Dave ===
Adoptive son.
== Gallery ==
File:Vibe time.png|Nightrunner and Michael having vibe time in the library.
File:Consume the neanderthal.jpg|Trapbros cooking Gampee!Michael into spam.
File:Straight conversion therapy.jpg|Kilemotie (Russian Rose) converting Michael to homosexuality by making him listen to Cardi B.
File:HAHAHHAAA.jpg|Michael asking Trapbros if he thought the Gampee morph was ugly or hot.
File:Dream more like stream (of piss).png|Michael terrorizing Dreamwastaken with the Gampee morph while Trapbros observes through a window.
== Trivia ==
* Trapbros is his main bitch.
**Eridan is his whore.
*Kokomo is in a matespritship with beaches (the geographical feature).
*During the first pee storm, Michael held Trapbros' hand.
*Michael was originally going to be Kankri and Trapbros' kids, but the incest thing got uncomfortable after they found out, so now he's just Kankri's son and used to be babysat by Trapbros as a kid.
**He is half British.
Category:Stubs
Category:People
Category:Vampora Family
Category:Pailstars