A Good Magician

A Good Magician is the third episode of SBFW Quest. It aired October 12, 2018 and was written by Purple133 and DanzxvFan8275.
== Transcript ==
(The episode begins with Dan walking through Fanonland’s streets)
Dan: Hey guys, where the hell did this weird hut come from?
Purps: No clue. Let’s go ask Jasbre!
(Purps and Dan go to ask Jasbre about the weird hut)
Purps: So Jasbre, we noticed a weird hut in town and wanted to know who’s it is.
Jasbre: Oh, that belongs to one FDBackup, a local in the area.
Dan: Wait, FDBackup?
Purps: Time works differently here, some people made it here earlier remember?
Dan: Oh yeah.
Jasbre: Yeah. Anyways I have to try and send criminals to the new colony.
Dan: What colony?
Jasbre: I call it, Jasbreland.
Purps: (under his breath) I should join this shit.
Dan: What was that Purps?
Purps: Nothing mate.
Dan: Anyway, we should check out FDBackup. Not only will he help us, but he can also help Matchy stop fapping in class.
Purps: Yeah.
(Matchy is seen in window)
Matchy: WHAT THE HELL!
Purps: Get out of here Matchy. Anyway,  anything could happen…
Dan: I’ll take the chance. (pulls out a bow) I’ll take my chance alright. (walks over to the hut)
Purps: Dan, what are you doing?
Dan: Preparing.
Purps: You don’t know what’s he’s like, though!
Dan: (puts finger over lips) Shhh! (points to show an open window. Both walk over and see FDBackup talking in his sleep)
FDBackup: (half asleep) BADGEFARM! (snores) CREATE NEW PAGE! (snores) Okay! (snores)
Dan: Seems like he’s thinking about… stuff.
Purps: Wake him up! Maybe he can help us.
Dan: Yeah let’s get him!
(Purps leans over and taps FDBackup, who sits up and hit him)
Purps: WHAT THE HELL?
FDBackup: Watch your language Purps!
Dan: Shut up FD. Can you help us find (holds up mugshot of Golf) this guy?
FDBackup: Sorry, I haven’t seen him.
Purps: Okie dokie!
FDBackup: Okay, can you guys leave? I have to badgefarm now.
Dan: Whatever.
(Dan and Purps leave)
Purps: FD was quite useless, let’s go find Lock!
Dan: Maybe we should pick up some birth control from the blacksmith first, Lock gets kinda crazy around bug locked doors.
Purps: Okay.
(Purps and Dan meet Lock at the blacksmith)
CobblePirate: Hello there patrons, what may I get to you?
(At the same time)
Dan: We need birth control for Lock.
Purps: We need weapons!
CobblePirate: Hmmm, I have this metal chain for you Dan, and a mace for you Purps.
Dan: I’d rather wear it around my neck.
Purps: But I don’t have any upper body strength!
Dan: Don’t. Show. Weakness.
CobblePirate: Yeah, can you just get out?
Dan: Sure, let’s go Purps.
Purps: Wait, I have to master blacksmithing!
Dan: Goddammit.
(Purps walks over to CobblePirate and trips as Dan sighs)
Dan: PURPS! IT’S BEEN FOUR HOURS LET’S JUST GO GET LOCK.
Purps: Lock? He went out of town to find a mate if you know what I mean.
Dan: WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST TELL ME THAT EARLIER?!
Purps: I don’t know it didn’t seem relevant.
Dan: What did you make?
Purps: Oh, nothing.
(Dan screams and drags Purps back to FD’s to see if he will help)
Purps: I mean sure FD vandalized in the past, but he can’t be that bad right?
Dan: Yeah I guess.
(Purps notices smoke and sees FD casting spells and hexes on people)
FDBackup: Alla...ka….st...op…..fapping in class! That’s for you, Matchy!
Dan: Still making those jokes, is he?
Purps: (facepalms) Hypocrite.
Dan: Why ‘ya so annoyed, Purps? Do you fap in class too?
Purps: SHUT UP AND FINISH THE GODDAMN STORY WITHOUT STRETCHING IT WITH FAPPING IN CLASS JOKES!
Dan: Fine. (looks back into window. FD seems to still be casting spells)
FDBackup: You motherfluffers will all die!
Bot: Excuse me did you just call us motherfluffers?
FDBackup: NO SWEARING!
(FD lights Bot’s hair on fire)
Bot: HOLY SHITTTTTTT.
(FD spots Dan)
FDBackup: Oh no you don’t!
Dan: Well shit.
FDBackup: You’re gonna die, and then I’m gonna kill everybody in Fanonland and badgefarm as much as I damn well please!
Purps: FD, you just swore.
FDBackup: What? Are you high?
Dan: FD?
FDBackup: Yes?
(Dan walks up to FDBackup and whispers something in his ear)
Dan: Consume car batteries.
FDBackup: AHHH!!!! (starts to melt)
Purps: What the hell did you say?
Dan: I’ll never tell another living soul.
(Tifi appears out of thin air)
Tifi: Can I offer you some scalp lotion?
(Tifi makes an intense thththththththth noise with his tongue)
Dan: Oh what the fu-
(Episode ends)
Category:Purple133
Category:DanzxvFan8275
Category:Episodes written by DanzxvFan8275
Category:Episodes written by Purple133
Category:Episodes directed by Purple133
Category:2018
Category:2018 Episodes
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Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:2018 Transcripts
Category:SBFW Quest
Category:2010s