Just For Fun: Lots 'O Laughs & Brain Bogglers

Story: This page was made because with all the RP drama and fights, arguments and such, people have been taking things way too seriously, and we all need a good laugh or eurieka moment every time and again. Please feel free to add any joke or riddle you like as long as it is not inappropriate or directly offensive in nature. Thank you and enjoy!
== Jokes ==
1. Why did the chicken cross the road?
2. Why?
1. To get to your house!
2. Wha?... No offense but that's kinda lame.
1. Knock knock!
2. Who's there?
1. The chicken!
A hydrogen atom walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey buddy you gotta help me! I lost my electron!" "Are you sure?" the bartender replies. "Yes! I'm positive!"
1. Why were the three artists late to the Impressionist exhibit?
2. Why?
1. They ran out of Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
The passengers on a small plane are a quite surprised when the pilots arrive.
The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.
The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.
Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
A neutrino orders a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve faster-than-light particles here." Then the neutrino walks into the bar.
1. Somebody said you sounded like an owl.
2. Who?
1. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
2. What?
1. Sue.
1. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
2. Beats me.
1. "Give me my quarterback!"
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
A businessman and a U.S. Army private walk into a bar. The businessman says to the private, "Could you get us a table? I'll get our order. Oh and while your at it please put my briefcase over there too." So the private does as asked. A few minutes later the businessman walks over to the table with their order but is surprised as he dosen't see his briefcase. "Hey," he asked the private, "what did you put my case on?" The private looked around in shock and surprise. "It must have gone rolling along!"
== Riddles ==
Q1) A man going on a trip boards a plane. He sees someone he knows, greets them, and is immediately arrested by the Sky Marshals. Why?
A1) The man said "Hi, Jack".
Q2) On a wonderful sunny day in a harbor, a marine vehicle was parked. Then, right before the spectator's eyes, it began to go under. Nothing was wrong with the weather or the vehicle. Why did it go under?
A2) The Submarine Captain ordered his crew to dive.
Q3) Can a man legally marry his widow's sister in the state of California?
A3) What part of "widow" do you not understand? The guy is dead!
Q4) Which of the following does not belong in the group: Apple, Banana, Grape, Cherry, Pear.
A4) Banana. It is the only fruit that is not peeled before eating.
Q5) Brad stared through the soot-filled window of the 22nd floor in an office building. Obercome with depression, he opened the window and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop from the 22 floors up to the ground. Miraculously, after he landed, he was completely unhurt. Since there was nothing to cushion Brad's fall or slow his descent, how did he come out of the jump unharmed?
A5) Brad was so depressed with his window-washing job, so he opened the window and jumped in.
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Category:POTCO