Four Regrettings and a Funeral

Four Regrettings and a Funeral is the third episode of Season 25. (Originally going to be an episode for the season 24).
==Synopsis==
During the funeral of a beloved Simpsons character who was never seen before, yet acknowledged to have been there all along, Homer, Kent Brockman, Marge, and Mr. Burns all try to make up for their respective past regrets: Homer regrets selling his Apple stock for a bowling ball, Marge regrets listening to KISS music while pregnant with Bart, Mr. Burns regrets breaking up with a French woman who has now converted to Buddhism, and Kent Brockman regrets not giving up his local anchorman job for the wonderful world of cable news.
==Full Story==
The story begins at the First Church of Springfield, where everyone is attending the funeral of Chip Davis, a supposedly much-beloved Springfielder who has never appeared in the show for some reason. Amid much mourning and reminiscing of how Chip touched their lives, Reverend Lovejoy mentions that despite Chip's perfect life, he did have a few regrets, such as never ascending Mount Springfield (from the south face) and never breaking par on hole 17 at the Springfield Mini Golf Course.
The assembled town is inspired to reflect on their own regrets. Patty mocks Marge about her dysfunctional family, but Marge isn't convinced, not even after Bart pulls a mean prank on the churchgoers. She claims her pregnancy with Bart was perfect, but during a flashback she starts to worry that Bart may have been negatively affected by her strange pregnancy craving for the music of KISS, which she listened to every night. 
Kent Brockman, meanwhile, is also inspired to reflect on his career. Homer then reminisces about the worst financial decision he ever made.
Flashback to 2001. Homer is at Alley McBalls, shopping for a new ball. Seduced by a tacky ball with a flaming skull design ("SPARE NO ONE!") he calls his broker and demands he sell all his Apple stock so he can have enough money to buy the ludicrous sporting good. As the flashback ends, Homer notices everyone around him is using Apple products. D'oh!
It's then Mr. Burns' turn to share his regret. He opens a pocket watch and reveals the beautiful girl that got away, and broke his (first) heart. 
After the funeral ends, Burns tells Smithers a story from when he was much younger. He claims to have met a girl named Lyla who worked at a crepes stand in France "between the wars." After an intimate moment where he sketched Lyla in the news, Burns proposes. She agrees on one condition – he must promise to set aside five minutes a day to think about others. Burns immediately rejects, and Lyla runs off crying, saying she wants a man as good as Burns is evil. "There's no one that good!" Burns angrily declares.
Kent Brockman, meanwhile, reunites with his old Channel 6 co-host Rachel Maddow who was also at Chip's funeral. Rachel says that in her opinion, the biggest mistake Kent ever made was not leaving Springfield with her and joining the glamorous world of cable news. We learn that Rachel and Kent once had a morning show together on Channel 6, but Rachel grew to hate the cheesy stories they were forced to cover, and decided to ditch their small town — or at least find a "better Springfield." 
Back in the present, Mr. Burns has decided to track down Lyla to see if she is still alive. He learns she is, but is now living as a Buddhist monk.
Thinking maybe his friend had a point, Brockman heads to New York and applies for a job at Fox News. Disgusted by their bias, he quickly changes their mind and vows to return to Springfield, where he gets to control the news on his own terms!
Back in Springfield, Bart and Milhouse tie a bunch of balloons to a laundry basket for Bart to fly in. When Milhouse asks why, Bart replies, "50% attention seeking, 50% to drop things on people." 
Homer returns to Alley McBalls to shine "SPARE NO ONE," but finds the store is closed and is going to be turned into Apple store. 
Bart, now high in the sky in his floating basket, starting to panic. He floats by the Rich Texan's family reunion, where everyone is shooting their guns into the air and is nearly shot down. He also drifts by a house where Smithers is standing outside, looking angry. Inside, Mr. Burns and Lyla are about to make love, but the decrepit old man requires so much time "getting ready" that Lyla passes away while he's in the bathroom. Moved by his lost love, Burns vows to honor Lyla's one wish by feeding the homeless — and he actually does!
Bart next drifts over Kent, who is delighted by the sensationalistic story and eagerly reports it. Marge sees the broadcast on TV, and rushes to the center of town where a crowd has gathered, observing Bart.
Marge is now convinced listening to KISS caused all this, but Chief Wiggum tells her such a belief is ridiculous, noting that his own wife listened to classical music and Winston Churchill speeches while pregnant, but Ralph can't even open a fridge. 
Professor Frink announces that he has a plan to rescue Bart: firing Homer's beloved bowling ball gently into Bart's basket to lower him to earth. It works, and a delighted Marge proclaims that "as long as your family is together, every choice you've ever made is the right one."
At the end of the episode, before the credits, a tribute to Marcia Wallace is shown, with Mrs. Krabappel in her classroom. She then says her catchphrase "Ha!"
The credits feature a montage of iconic scenes from past Simpsons episodes, all featuring Chip, who was apparently there all along.
==Citations==
fr:Quatre regrets et un enterrement
pl:Four Regrettings and a Funeral
pt:Quatro Arrependimentos e um Funeral
Category:Kent Brockman episodes
Category:Marge episodes
Category:Homer episodes
Category:Mr. Burns Episodes
Category:Bart episodes
Category:Reverend Lovejoy Episodes
Category:Flashback episodes
Category:Episodes featuring guest stars
Category:Death Episodes
Category:Whitney Spuckler episodes
Category:Dramatic episodes
Category:Episodes with alternate end credits
Category:Episodes showran by Al Jean
Category:Written by Marc Wilmore
Category:Directed by Mark Kirkland
Category:Episodes Set in The Past
Category:Unusual episodes
Category:Episodes named after a film or TV Show
Category:Voice-Over Performance Emmy winning episodes
Category:Romance-themed Episodes
Category:Mystery-themed episodes