All Epilogue 06 - Banish

“I have a question,” Mila said idly. It was late; she was lying on her husband, slowly falling asleep.
Pierce stirred from his thoughts, “Hmm?”
“You can do magic, right?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“How? I mean, you’re no wizard, that’s obvious,” she said teasingly.
He rolled his eyes sarcastically, “Thanks.”
“But how can you still be a sorcerer? They get their power from heritage, right? You’re not exactly sporting the same bloodline anymore.”
Pierce looked at her for a second before tilting his head back. He sighed slightly, “...I’m not a sorcerer. I never was a sorcerer.” Mila raised her eyebrow at him. “I’m a summoner.”
She looked at him for a minute, then smacked him in the shoulder, “You’ve been lying to me for years! Why in gods’ great earth would you lie to me about that?!”
He mock defended himself from the physical attack, “Because!” He sighed, becoming serious, “Because my family never approved, so they went to great lengths to protect me from myself; you knew that. I hadn’t summoned my eidolon in years, and we didn’t leave on good terms. It got so I was too afraid and guilty to call her...so it was easier to pretend I was a sorcerer, and forget about it.”
Mila looked at him for a few moments. “...You didn’t speak to the other half of your soul for over 30 years.” The man frowned, affirming her statement. “...Percival...sometimes, you’re a bit of a terrible person, to literally everyone, including yourself.”
“I know…”
She frowned and sighed, laying back down, resting her ear on his chest. After a few minutes of silence, she leaned back up. “Summon her.”
“Huh?”
“Summon her. I’d like to meet her.” He looked away sadly. “What? What’s wrong?” He moved Mila off of him, before rolling over and away, curling up. She sat up, watching him with concern.
It was a few minutes before he replied, “...I called her, when we were gone. She helped save the world. She helped me.” There was another long pause, before he continued quietly, “She never had my fear. She’s a stronger person than me. She has all the strength I’m missing.” He paused again, and Mila waited patiently for him to continue. “…After the Few were made, I was terrified. So I called her. She…” his voice dropped even softer, “I scare her. I repulse her, and she was willing to kill me out of terror. We’re not bonded anymore. She was half of my soul, and she...isn’t anymore. She said as much, and I know she’s right.” Mila watched him softly, with a growing concern and sadness. “That’s what I get, I guess, for being a terrible person.” Mila put her hand on his shoulder. He reached over and put his hand on hers, whispering, “I...was so sure, that you’d be just as scared. I couldn’t...couldn’t handle…”
“Shh,” Mila cut him off, wrapping him in a hug. “Shh. I didn’t leave you. I wouldn’t leave you.” He rolled back around to hug her, and they stayed like that for a while, until Pierce composed himself once more. She regarded him gently, tracing her fingers around his shoulder. “I don’t think…” she trailed off, considering.
“What?”
“I don’t think you can have half a soul. Anyone, I don’t think anyone can just be half, without another half. That’s why, when one half dies, so does the other, right?”
It was Pierce’s turn to look questioning. “How do you know that?”
She frowned playfully, “Honey, I studied psychology. I had an entire class on split souls and outer-souls.” Carrying on seriously, she said, “Split-souls, I’m pretty sure can’t exist in isolation. If a summoner dies, so does their eidolon, and vice versa...but eidolons are extraplanars, so I think they’re kind of guessing on the ‘vice versa’ part. Not a lot of case studies. So...if you’re alive, and you said you summoned her, and she’s alive, then...either you are still bonded…”
“We aren’t,” Pierce interrupted, firm and sad.
“Ok, ok,” she said comfortingly, bringing her hand up to his face. “Ok, but, that would mean that either you’re both whole now...but you still have magic, so that seems weird...or…” she paused, thinking, “Maybe, you both have new partners?”
“How does that seem less weird than us just being halves?”
“I just…” she shook her head, “I don’t think it works like that? But what do I know? I read a book for a class, and this isn’t exactly something that happens a lot.” Pierce sighed, laying back and looking up at the ceiling. Mila leaned on him, chin resting on her folded arms. “Maybe you are a solitary half. But maybe, whatever the spell did, whatever made you different, made you a new eidolon too?” He snorted slightly, pessimistic. “...Have you tried?”
“Tried what?”
“Summoning it.”
“How would I even know how to do that? I can’t just wave my hands,” he said sarcastically, waving his hands. “I need to know what the ritual is.”
“Well, how’d you learn it the first time?”
“I…” he stopped for a second, then folded his arms and huffed, “...I just knew it.”
She gave him another playful frown. “So. If you ‘just knew it’ before, try to ‘just know it’ now.” Resistance was plain on his face, and he wouldn’t meet her gaze. “Percival…” she said firmly. “Percival!”
“What?” he looked at her angrily, and she returned the expression.
“If you have an eidolon, it’s literally part of you. I’m not going to sit and let you ignore part of who you are, especially if it’s a person who probably feels very bad that you’re ignoring them.”
“It won’t be a ‘person’, whatever it is…” he said darkly before turning back to her, “And what makes you the expert on this anyways? If I have an eidolon, which I probably don’t, I have no idea what it could even be, and if I don’t want to find out, then…”
“Percival!” she snapped, cutting him off. “Summon. The eidolon.” He frowned at her. “You just got finished saying you felt guilty for years because of how you treated her. Don’t you dare try and repeat your mistakes while I’m watching you.” The two glared at each other. “Summon it.” He continued to glare. “You won’t win this, and you know it.” After another minute of protracted silence, he sat upright, thinking. After a pause, he began to cast a spell. It was similar to that he used to call Sienna, but was unique.
The ritual took a minute to complete. When he opened his eyes, there was now a third person in the room with them, sitting crosslegged across from Pierce, mimicking his pose. The newcomer was, somehow, Pierce: a creature that, for all intents and purposes, looked almost identical to his summoner, though with just enough minor differences to be uncannily different. He grinned, his smile the same as his summoner’s as well, and said, “Hello.” Pierce winced, taken aback and uncomfortable; he floated back a few inches unconsciously.
Mila, however, was not any more surprised than before. “Hello!” she said brightly. “I’ve never met an eidolon before.”
“Neither have I!” the newcomer said brightly. "Why, is that what I am?"
"As far as we can tell," Mila returned the smile. “I’m Mila, Percival’s wife,” she said as she held out her hand.
The strange duplicate quirked his head in confusion at the gesture, but he replied cheerily enough, “I’m Banish.”
Pierce blinked in recognition. “That’s what the All called me.”
He turned to regard Percival, “Oh, yes. You're also Banish, but you're the Materian Banish." He frowned thoughtfully as he explained, "All tried to make more of you, but when they tried they made me. I'm linked to you, but obviously I'm not you at all. All hasn't figured out exactly how they tried to make you but made me, and I’m confusing enough as it is that All isn't about to make any more. I...what is it?”
Pierce’s expression had shifted to one of blatant distrust and disgust. “...You’re All. You’re not Etherian, or from the Outer Planes...You’re All.”
“Yes,” he replied blithely.
Glancing between the two, Mila interrupted in an attempt to steer her husband, “Really? You don't seem at all like the ones the others described. Everyone said that the All were...flat. And group-minded. You must be rather different from the rest,” she had turned to Pierce, directing the final statement towards him.
“Oh..." Banish seemed almost crestfallen at this observation. He recovered quickly, explaining, "I am All. But, the nature of my design gives me a much more distinctive individuality than…well, everything else.” He turned towards Pierce, ignoring or perhaps not understanding the meaning behind his hateful expression, “I was made to have different perspective. Materian perspective. Yours, we suppose.” 
Frowning considerably now, Pierce hissed, “You...are not me. I will not...”
“Percival...” Mila cut him off with a warning tone.
He glared for a second long before snorting, speaking with a bitter tone towards his wife, ignoring Banish, “Alright, there, we’ve met. And it turns out it's an All. You know, the monsters that tried to destroy the world and I nearly died getting rid of?" 
"Umm," Banish tried to interject, "we didn't...we weren't ever trying to..."
Ignoring him entirely, he continued speaking, "They made a mockery of me, and it took half my soul. So, whatever I thought I was going to meet ten minutes ago, yes, this is definitely worse.”
“Percival…” Mila repeated, tone both reproachful and sad.
He continued over her, turning to speak towards the eidolon, “So, thank you, I’ll consider summoning you again if I ever decide for some reason that I want the All back on this plane," he said with deep derision, "which, considering what happened the last time, isn’t too likely. Goodbye.”
As Pierce lifted his hands to desummon the eidolon, Banish pleaded, “Wait! Wait wait, please!” A sudden, utter desperation had come over him as he begged, “Please, please wait.” Pierce hesitated a moment, allowing him to continue, “Please...please don’t send me back without hope.”
Rolling his eyes, Pierce asked none to kindly, “Hope of what?”
Banish looked down and dropped his arms, putting him in an almost prostrate position. “Of being summoned here again. Of doing something." Pierce still paused, so he continued talking, “Every part of All has a purpose. A function. A task to keep Allspace running. I...don’t. I...I have a role, I do, but, it doesn't really require me to do anything other than exist, so there's no place, no job, nothing in Allspace for me to contribute." Mila pulled Pierce's hands down, looking at him for a second before turning to look at Banish with concern. "Elsewhere, here, it scares All. It’s unbalanced, it’s wild, it’s ordered but makes no sense. It’s...horrifying. But I have the perspective of the things that live here. I can’t connect fully with All, because All doesn’t want to be tainted by my perspective. I don’t fit in Allspace, and it...hurts.” He looked up at Pierce, “Please, I don’t care what you summon me for. Anything. Just...please...don’t send me away, without knowing if I’ll ever have a chance to do something.”
Mila watched Banish speak, her expression becoming sadder as he went on. When he finished, she looked at her husband pleadingly, waiting for him to respond. He looked at the eidolon for a long moment, then sighed, putting his hands up and falling backwards to lay down again. “Fine. Stay. I don't care. But if you do anything...anything at all, to hurt anyone...” he threatened.
Banish looked somewhere between hopeful and timid, "O-okay...”
Pierce added, “And I'm not giving you orders or a purpose or anything. The Few are bad enough.”
“The...Few?” Banish asked.
“Ugh...!" Pierce groaned.
Mila leaned over, piping in to take over the conversation, "They were the All that were left here. They became something different; they're Materians now, and Percival is connected to them.”
Banish looked shocked, “The lost units survived?!”
Smiling, she nodded, “Yes." With a shrug she said, "I think a lot of the little eyes and snakes might have died, but they think all of the grey, puppet-like ones lived.”
“We thought, surely we thought the opposers here would have destroyed them," he thought deeply, "...Why were they spared? They have no functions, no defense, no direction. They shouldn't even be...” he trailed off before having a sudden thought, "Oh! You! Of course, never mind."
A quiet growling noise came from Pierce, but Mila interrupted again, "What's that?"
Banish gave a timid smile, “Well, without a director, the Completes would be catatonic. They're too weak; they can't make decisions on their own. There were no lost direction units, only lesser function units, so we assumed the lost ones fated for destruction. But you!" He looked towards Percival, "If you're connected to them, they must be looking to you. You must be the direction unit guiding them all; you're certainly strong enough.”
The three sat in silence for a few seconds before Pierce gave a single snort of derisive laughter. He gestured sarcastically at the ceiling, “Percival Webber, Director of the Few. I’ll make up a desk plaque.” He sighed, “I won’t send you back there, since apparently you're desperate to escape it. But I don't want to look at you, so just...” he waved his hand dismissively towards the door.
“Oh...alright, that's...understandable," Banish said hesitantly. He inclined his head, “Thank you for the chance.” He looked towards the door, “I'll...go look around outside? There were a lot of incomprehensible things All found here that I'd like to see. Like...rocks? Rocks never made much of any sense...”
“Don't let anybody see you," Pierce said, his tone severe once more. "If you can disguise yourself or hide, fine, go wander to your heart’s content. But otherwise, you'll probably only get attacked. Everyone's on the lookout for strange things to blame all of the All's calamity on, and they'll certainly blame you.”
"But I..." he started before stopping short, looking down, “I can make myself invisible, for a while. I won't interact with anyone. I'll stay out of sight.”
“Then go.”
Banish stood up, though at no point did he ever touch the bed or floor. Before floating motionlessly towards the door, he said with gravity, “Thank you, Director.” He turned to Mila, "It...was nice to meet you, Mila." She offered him a half-smile in return before he vanished.
A few seconds passed in silence before Mila turned to her husband, "Why are you being so cruel to him? He's confused, and lonely, it sounds like."
“The All ruined my life," he said bitterly, "not to mention the lives of almost everyone on this continent. Cities are destroyed, the seasons are wrong. They nearly destroyed the plane! There's going to be chaos for years. Decades, maybe!” He glared at the ceiling as he continued, “It’s bad enough that I lost my humanity stopping them, but they took half of my soul too? And put it in some sort of...of terrible look-a-like. What am I supposed to do? Be happy? Be happy that the All aren't actually finished here, or with me?”
Mila continued looking at him sadly. She sighed, “Sweetheart, there's no way that your eidolon is trying to ruin your life, it's part of..."
"Don't," he interrupted sharply, "Don't finish. I don't want to hear it." 
She sighed, falling quiet. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before she stood up, "Well, I'm at least going to see and make sure he's not hurting himself or something..."
"If it tries anything..."
Mila rolled her eyes as she put on a robe, interrupting him, "I'm sure you'll hear and I'm sure you can unsummon him before anything happens." She walked out of the room without further comment.
----
She stepped outside into the very large yard Reid’s house possessed. They had been staying there since the tumult of the All, and were likely going to remain there until Kalleandar was rebuilt, though Pierce was still effectively maintaining his business using teleportation, disguise magic and falsified overbooking of his schedule. Mila meandered slowly around the house, seeing nothing amiss. “Banish?” she called, not loudly but still enough to be heard. “Banish?”
When she made her way to the far side yard, she heard a slight noise of surprise. “I’m sorry!” the eidolon replied, still invisible. “I'm here.” 
"Oh! There you are," she smiled, glancing around before adding, "You can take that off, the invisibility. There's no one around, I promise."
"I...I said that I'd stay out of sight..." he said timidly.
"It's alright," she said comfortingly, "I've already seen you, I don't count. I promise there's no one else around here, not at this time of night. It's ok."
"Al-alright..." he said, suddenly appearing in front of her. He smiled slightly, but his body language was obviously fearful. "I'm sorry I didn't reply, if you were calling. My hearing isn’t very good...”
Mila smiled, “My husband complains about his hearing as well, but he’s got all his little snakey-friends helping him. You can’t hear through them?”
“No, I’m not connected to any of the...Few? They’re called the Few?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
He smiled slightly, “No, I can’t feel any of them. And I can’t feel All either. I've..." he fiddled his fingers nervously, "I've never been completely cut off before. There's always been at least a bit of communication, but now...now it's just...” he trailed off.
She looked at him with concern, “Are you ok?”
“Oh, yes!" he said sharply, brightening his demeanor, "I’m fine! I’ve just never been alone, and I don't think I ever really knew what that meant? I know a lot of words, but, I think I'm missing a lot of their meanings? Not what the words themselves mean, but..." He shook his head, frowning as he muttered, "That doesn't make sense, what would make sense...?” 
"I understand," she nodded. "Really."
"Oh?" he seemed almost surprised at this, "It's alright, if I don't make sense. I'm very used to that.”
Mila frowned thoughtfully, “How can you not make sense? The All share thoughts, don't they?”
“Oh, yes yes!” he said. “All shares senses and emotions and thoughts, but not every unit needs everything. Units on opposite ends of Allspace don't need to know what the other is thinking, a Complete doesn't need details on how new units are constructed, a Divider doesn't need to know what Recalls are feeling, and a Share doesn't need to know anything at all. Each unit is just given what they need. But I...I'm, the only unit with this Materian perspective, and All doesn't want any of what I know to spread into other units, or into All's mind.” Mila began to look somewhat confused, and he shook his head, “I’m sorry, it’s difficult to translate." He smiled sadly, "I'm sure I can’t explain to you how All works, any more than I can explain to All how Elsewhere works.”
“That’s alright,” she said, smiling warmly, “That’s kind of a thing here. No one ever really understands what anyone else is going on about. But we try our best, and we get by.”
“Oh. I...guess that’s good?” he replied. He held up his hand, showing the small rock he had been inspecting, “It’s just...everything is so strange, to All. I can look at this and think ‘it’s a rock, it’s function is to make the ground that things stand on and grow in’, but to All, that’s not a good answer. Why do things need to stand? Why do things grow? I reach a point where I can accept that it’s because...it just is. But All can’t.” He looked at the rock, “So, it’s odd, how I can look at something and not be confused by it, when all of the context I have says that it should be confusing. It’s...strange...” he trailed off, still staring at the rock.
Mila looked at him for a while before asking gently, “...You’re afraid, aren’t you?”
Banish’s gaze shot up to her in shock; he blinked a few times, asking, “Why would you say that?”
Smiling slightly, she replied, “Well...you said earlier that you’re alone and you’ve never been alone before. Even if you feel like you’ve never really been understood, it’s very different, being alone. I was scared when I moved out of my family’s house to live by myself, and I didn’t have my mother in my head with me. I’d imagine suddenly being all alone, when you’ve got a whole world with you when you’re at home, would be very scary.” Banish’s gaze dropped as she spoke. She continued, “And...I also think you don’t quite understand as much as you’re letting on.”
“...Well...I…”
“It’s ok!" she said quickly. "You’re from an entirely different world! Why wouldn’t this all be strange?" She smiled knowingly, “You’re also making the face my husband makes when he’s worried about things but doesn’t want me to know.”
He looked up at her, concerned and confused, “How do you know that? How do you know things about people when you can’t feel them?” 
“It takes some practice," she smiled, “We can’t all read each other’s minds here, but we do our best. Facial expressions, body language...you can learn to do it too.”
“...There’s a lot to learn…” he said quietly.
“There is. But you’ll get it. No one expects you be perfect immediately.” He looked away, obviously nervous; she frowned sarcastically, “No, Percival doesn’t expect you to be perfect either. He isn’t perfect, neither are you, that’s why you work together.”
“...I’m…” he said slowly, unsure of himself, “...I...don’t want to be sent back. It’s...not that I don’t like it there...it’s fine, but...I...don’t fit. What if...I don’t fit here either? Even if I try? I don’t really belong here, I know...It’s all confusing and huge and I don’t really know what’s going on…” He continued, still looking at the ground as black tears began to well in his alien eyes, “And...I want to help...I’m...supposed to help. But, he wants to send me back, and if I mess something up...I’ll lose my only chance...” 
Mila looked at him sadly, bringing her hand up to his cheek, “Oh, sweetie…”
He jerked backwards, wiping at his eyes furiously, “Ack! I’m sorry! Don’t worry, I...I malfunction, I always have. Don’t worry, I’m fine.”
She looked confused, “What? What are you talking about?”
“I’m not damaged,” he said, wiping his eyes some more. “Sometimes, I signal that I’m damaged when I’m not. It agitates everyone but it’s part of my design. It’s a flaw, I guess. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’m alright, really.”
It took her a few more seconds before she understood. Smiling slightly, she said gently, “Oh, Banish, sweetie, that’s not a flaw. You’re crying.” The eidolon looked genuinely confused, so she continued, “Crying. Everyone here does it. We cry when we’re sad, or very happy, or sometimes even when we’re mad. It’s not just when we hurt our bodies. Sometimes its just when we feel hurt, inside, even though nothing looks wrong with us.”
He looked at her for a long moment, eventually asking very quietly, “...Really? You...understand that?” She nodded, and he looked nearly overwhelmed, still crying slightly, “...I always thought I was broken…”
Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around Banish, who obviously had no idea how to respond. “Do the same thing I’m doing,” she instructed. “Put your arms around me.” He complied and she explained, “This is a hug. It makes people feel better. We can’t be in each other’s minds, so holding each other makes us feel close and lets us know that we care for each other, and understand.” She carried on, “This is a big scary world, and it might seem like you’re alone, but you’re not. And you do have a very, very important job. You have to help Percival.” She hugged him tighter, “You are the only one who can help. You’re scared and confused now, and so is Percival. You’re scared of Materia. He’s scared of the All. He’s scared of you. Both of you are terrified of being abandoned, of being alone, because you don’t fit somewhere. You’re both part Materian and you’re both part All, because you’re the two sides of the same coin. You need each other to make sense of both sides. He needs to help you understand Materia. Help the All understand Materia. And you need to help him understand All. Until you both work together, you’re both going to keep being scared when there’s really nothing to be afraid of.” She pulled back and looked at him, “Ok?” He nodded. She smiled slightly and added without looking around, “Percival, sweetheart, I know you're listening too, and this is for you as well. Banish is your eidolon for a reason. Whomever your eidolon was before...maybe that’s the strength you needed to fight. To go across the world, win battles, and save the world. But you aren’t fighting the All anymore. They’re gone. They’re home and they aren’t threatening anyone anymore. You aren’t fighting anymore, and you don’t need power. You need understanding. Because the All are a part of you. You are the Director of the Few, creatures who used to be All. You’re one of them, and if you’re going to be happy, if they’re going to grow and learn and be the best people they can be, then you need to understand where they’re coming from. That’s what Banish is. He’s the understanding you need, and only he is going to be able to help you come to terms with yourself.” She looked at Pierce kindly, with a slightly pleading cast, “Don’t ignore him. Don’t try to pretend he doesn’t exist, or that you don’t need him. And for the gods’ love, don’t be afraid of him. Don’t be afraid of yourself, of what you can be and can do. Because now it’s not just going to be yourself you’re holding back.”
There was only silence in the yard. Mila turned back to Banish, "It will be ok, he'll come around." She gestured, "Come on back inside. We can talk."
"About what?" he asked, following her.
Mila smiled, "About whatever you'd like to know."Category:Advent of the All