Dog Cop 7: The Final Chapter/Transcript

==Transcript==
Fade open to a logo "A KATIE MITCHELL PRODUCTION with an animation of a stressed Katie Mitchell. Fade out then fade to subtitle "IN ASSOCIATION WITH MS. MANSFIELD'S FIRST YEAR DRAMATIC FILM CLASS." Under it are red subtitles reading "PLEASE GIVE ME AN A. I WORKED SUPER HARD WITH AN UNTRAINED CREW AND INSANELY LIMITED RESOURCES." Fade out then fade open to a foggy setting, an old car stands in the middle of it, covered in deep fog. Knocking was heard inside the trunk.
:Dog Cop: (voiceover) No one would trade places with me…
Zoom into the trunk, seeing a captive Dog Cop (Monchi) inside with a time bomb ticking down.
:Dog Cop: (voiceover) Not for all the milk bones in the world. Even the sweet little gravy-flavored ones. They say before you go, your whole life flashes before your eyes.
A handcrafted thought bubble appears, scenes of Dog Cop’s past play within the thought bubble. It pops and Dog Cop looks down to see a screwdriver nearby.
Dog Cop: (voiceover) If I fail, everyone I love will be gone forever. It’s them or the one they call the Candycane Kidnapper.
Outside, a villainous figure runs by.
Candycane Kidnapper: Deck the halls… with blood!
Back inside the trunk, Dog Cop frees himself.
Dog Cop: (voiceover) You’re sick! The holidays are a time of mirth and merriment!
Using a screwdriver, he opens the trunk door and jumps out as the bomb explodes behind her. Then, the title comes up.
Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) Dog Cop 7: The Final Chapter!
The title breaks apart, going to 12 hours earlier. We come to the California Academy of Police…ing. Inside, Dog Cop is munching down on his treats when some fries are thrown at him. 
Detective Jade: Hey Dog Cop, why is someone throwing fries at you? And why is it me? That's weird.
Dog Cop: Detective Jade.
He stares lovingly at Jade while romantic music plays.
Detective Jade: Are you having a trite romance fantasy about me right now?
Music stops. Things get awkward.
Dog Cop: Uh, no.. (stammers) Changing the subject abruptly. Um… I can't believe this semester of film school… I mean, police school is over.
Detective Jade: I know, right? Hey, so would you wanna go see that screening of Train to Busan at the theater tonight?
Dog Cop: Oh my God. Yes! It's probably… 
Dog Cop and Detective Jade: (in unison) The best zombie movie since 28 Days Later.
The two share a loving connection.
Detective Jade: (laughs) I hate you so much right now.
A big heart rise from Dog Cop.
Dog Cop: Jade, can I ask you something?
Detective Jade: Sure.
Dog Cop: Um… we've been on a few missions together…
Detective Jade: Yeah?
Dog Cop: Maybe since you don't have a partner and… um, I don't have a partner… uh…
He is struck with lightning bolts. Doubt! Insecurity! Fear!
Dog Cop: I… you know what? (Stammers) never mind.
Detective Jade: Wait. No. What… What were you gonna ask?
Dog Cop: Nothing. Nothing. You know, let's talk about police cases. Have you heard the reports on the wire about the Candycane Kidnapper?
Detective Jade: Oh, yeah. I hear he's been snatching officers right from where they're standing and leaving nothing behind except some candy canes and their bare…
On a board, we see pictures of bare hands posted up.
Dog Cop: Dear God.
Detective Jade: (retching) I can't even… I just…
She pukes out tons of stuffing
Dog Cop: Please, cadet. Be professional. There goes me.
The dog pukes out doggy treats. Soon, they were both done puking.
Dog Cop: (coughs) Weird. All the kidnappings are happening near my old precinct.
Suddenly, Dog Cop’s phone rings and he answers it via facetime.
Dog Cop: (on facetime) Hey. I was just talking about you. Are you all okay?
Detective Aaron: (on facetime) Oh you mean the Candycane guy?
Lieutenant Linda: (on facetime) We're closing in on him.
Dog Cop: (on facetime) Is Sarge there?
Sarge pops up on screen.
Sarge: (on facetime) Hello, is the camera on?
Dog Cop: (on facetime) Yeah, it is. Maybe take a few inches back. 
Sarge: (on facetime; far away) Like this?
Dog Cop: (on facetime) Nope. Too far.
Sarge: (on facetime; on another spot) What about this?
Dog Cop: (on facetime) Nope.
Sarge: (on facetime; on the ceiling) I'm on the ceiling.
Dog Cop: (on facetime) How'd you get up there?
Sarge: (on facetime; on another spot) This?
Dog Cop: (on facetime) No.
Sarge: (on facetime; on another spot) How about over here?
Dog Cop: (on facetime) No.
Sarge: (on facetime; on another spot) what about this?
Dog Cop: (on facetime) No.
Sarge: (on facetime; on another spot) This?
Dog Cop: (on facetime) No.
Sarge: (on facetime; on another spot) This?
Dog Cop: (on facetime) No.
Sarge: (on facetime; on another spot) This?
Dog Cop: (on facetime) Sarge, you know, it's okay. So what's been going on with you guys?
Sarge: (on facetime) We're closing in on the Candycane Kidnapper!
Dog Cop: (on facetime) Sarge, we've been through this. There's no need to yell.
Sarge: (on facetime) Okay, we're closing in on hi-
Suddenly, his screen freezes.
Dog Cop: (on facetime) Sarge, you're… (laughs) Let me call back. (Hangs up) He can never figure this out. The.. 
He then gets a phone call and when he answers it, the screen shows a dark room with red text. “The Candycane Kidnapper was Here.”
Dog Cop: Oh my gosh. What happened? No! No! It's up to me to save them.
Detective Jade: I'm coming with you. 
Dog Cop: Really? What about the Train to Busan screening?
Detective Jade: Helping you is way more important than that. Besides, I'd rather wait and watch it with you anyway.
Dog Cop blushes and his love meter goes max. He then spouts out muscles.
Dog Cop: I'm empowered by love! I can punch through a wall!
He punches through the wall and he and Jade fly into the police car.
Both: Whee!
They get in and drive to the police station in the old precinct.
Dog Cop: He's close.
Detective Jade: Okay, look, I'll check things out first. You're too close to this.
Dog Cop: I'll be right behind you.
Jade goes inside and looks around. No sign of the criminal.
Detective Jade: Okay, it looks like we're clear. (A bag covers her head) No! (As she's kidnapped) Dog Cop! Dog Cop!
Dog Cop: Jade!
Then, he's kidnapped.
Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) Dog Cop's put in the trunk. Back to cold open. Yadda yadda. You get it. You're smart. Whatever. Here you go.
Dog Cop springs out of the trunk.
Dog Cop: Freeze, dirtbag! We meet at last, Candycane Kidnapper.
Candycane Kidnapper: Merry Christmas. It's a perfect time for a ho-ho-homicide.
Dog Cop: Enough incredibly clever wordplay. Now who are you?
Candycane Kidnapper: Oh you really wanna know?
The kidnapper reveals herself, cutting to Dog Cop in shock.
Dog Cop: What?! It can't be!
The kidnapper is actually Lieutenant Linda!
Lieutenant Linda: Hello! Merry Christmas! There is no Candycane Kidnapper or whatever just me. Fun, right?
Dog Cop: Wait, are you kidding me?
Lieutenant Linda: We wanted to surprise you.
Dog Cop: Oh my gosh, you guys. I could've done without the horrifying kidnapping. Is that bomb even real?
Lieutenant Linda: It sure is.
The timer hits zero and it opens up to reveal cookies.
Lieutenant Linda: Snickerdoodles! Your favorite! See? So the violent crime was okay.
Suddenly, an alarm blares out, stopping the film for a bit.
Rick Mitchell: (voiceover) Thinly veiled autobiography alarm!
Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) “Katie Mitchell's parents would never commit this heinous act. But Jade and her family did surprise Katie last Christmas when Jade showed up on Christmas eve.” It was super cute.
A big ANYWAY appears. Then, as the film continues, the other puppets come in to greet Dog Cop.
Dog Cop: Sarge! 
Sarge: Dog Cop, you've grown.
Dog Cop: Partner!
Detective Aaron: Dog Cop.
Dog Cop: Jade, you were in on this, too?
Detective Jade: Mm-hmm. I know you love a good mystery, so I teamed up with your old precinct to surprise you.
Dog Cop: Wow. That's so thoughtful. Jade, I…
Detective Jade: Yeah?
Dog Cop: Just give me one second, please. (To himself) Come on, Dog Cop, snap out of it. You can do this. (To Jade) I wanna ask you…
He is struck with lightning bolts. Doubt! Insecurity! Fear! However, this time, he fends off the bolts. He’s going to step up and confess with courage!
Dog Cop: Jade Johnson, do you wanna be partners with me? Officially? 
The other puppets watch in anticipation. 
Detective Jade: Partners? With you?
Dog Cop sweats nervously. 
Detective Jade: Of course! You're the most incredible detective I know. There's no one I'd rather be partners with.
Dog Cop: Really? 
Detective Jade: Really. (Kisses Dog Cop)
He then spouts out muscles.
Dog Cop: I'm empowered by love! I can lift a car above my head and throw it at the sun and make it explode! (Does so)
Detective Jade: Wow. That was incredible.
Lieutenant Linda: Come on in, you two.
They go inside the house.
Lieutenant Linda: Detective Jade. (Hugs Jade) So glad to finally meet you in person. We've heard so much about you.
Detective Jade: I heard a lot about you.
Lieutenant Linda: Here, we made you a stocking.
She shows her a big stocking hanging above the fireplace.
Detective Jade: Oh, that is so sweet. Thank you. 
Lieutenant Linda: Welcome to the precinct, honey. Let's open some presents!
Dog Cop hands Aaron a present.
Dog Cop: Here's one for my old partner. 
He opens it to see a movie made for him. “Mesozoic Mayhem!”
Detective Aaron: Oh, my gosh. Is this…
Dog Cop: Footage from your dinosaur-themed birthday party last year transformed into a high-octane and cinematic action masterpiece starring you? Why yes it is.
Cut to live-action footage of a birthday party where a bunch of people (with Aaron's head) fend off a dinosaur costume. Cut back to the film.
Detective Aaron: I love it.
Sarge offers Dog Cop a present.
Sarge: And this is something from us to you, Dog Cop.
Dog Cop opens his present to find a video camera.
Dog Cop: Oh my gosh. A new camera. Thanks, you guys.
Sarge: We'd thought maybe you'd wanna make a new Dog Cop short. With the family. Over Christmas break.
Dog Cop: Sweet. But what would we make that about?
Cut to the “THE END” card as fake credits start playing. Christmas music plays in the background.
Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) Now, now. Go, go.
Rick Mitchell: (voiceover; sings) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) Dad!
Rick Mitchell: (voiceover; sings) Oh what… (speaks) What?
Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) Just do it normal.
Rick Mitchell: (voiceover) Don't mo… the microphone's fine!
Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) It's not fine.
Rick Mitchell: (voiceover) It's fine!
Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) Dad, you're yelling.
Rick Mitchell: (voiceover) Here we go.
Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) Just sing. Don't yell.
:Rick Mitchell: (voiceover) We got it. Okay.
Real credits play as Rick sings.
:Rick Mitchell: (voiceover; sings) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
:Katie Mitchell: (voiceover) Yep, that's enough. Thank you, dad.
Cut to black and the short ends.
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