Deadpool 2 Alternate HISHE

==Synopsis==
How about, since Deadpool got kick out of the SuperHero Café and the Villain Pub during the last Deadpool HISHE. This time round he creates his own Anti-Hero Nightclub﻿.
And:
* The Punisher
* Red Hood
* Red Hulk
* Agent Venom
* Kratos
* Spawn
* Godspeed
* Ghost Rider
* Stewie Griffin
* John Constantine
* Shrek
* Hellboy
* Red Arrow/Arsenal
* Vegeta
* Catwoman
* Damian Wayne
* Loki (he's one nowadays, for now at least)
*Gwenpool
*And the Super Troopers paying the occasional visit, whenever there's a 'disturbance'﻿
==Transcript==
*Deadpool: "Hey Storm, it's time to cash in on that favor you owe me."
*Storm: "What're you talking about? I don't remember owing you anything."
*Deadpool: "Of course you don't. That timeline doesn't exist anymore!"
*Storm: raises eyebrow
*Deadpool: "Uuuuuuhhhhh, you were really drunk. Xavier's birthday party?"
*Storm: "...What do you need?"
*cut to a scene where X-Force landing safely and everyone celebrating
*Bedlam: "Glad that went off without a hitch."
*Shatterstar: "Of course it did. It's because I'm here! Me! Shatterstar!"
*Deadpool cocks gun
*Deadpool: "This was a mistake. Peter, run."
*Peter: "W-what?"
*Deadpool: "I said run, my sugar bear! RUN!"﻿
----
*Deadpool: So I went back in time, saved my girlfriend, and cleaned up the timeline.
*Superman: ...I think you've gone too far this time.
*Deadpool: Didn't you do the same thing, Mr-Fly-Around-The-World Super Fast?
*Superman: ...Uh....
*Batman: I'd save everybody without screwing up the timeline.
*Deadpool: How?
*Batman: Because I'm Batman.
*Deadpool: Tell that to Rachel. (Gets up) I'm going somewhere where my abilities will be more appreciated. See you!
*(Cut to the Time Travelers Restaurant from the Looper HISHE. At the table are Doc Brown, Doctors 10-12, and Doctor Strange)
*Twelfth Doctor: And then I punched through a diamond wall for four billion years!
*Doctor Strange: Pshh. That's nothing. I must have died a billion times bargaining with Dormammu!
*Deadpool: Hello, fellow time travelers!
*Everyone: UGH!
*Deadpool: What? I didn't do anything any of you wouldn't have done!
*Eleventh Doc: ...You tampered with fixed points in time!
*Dead pool: Ah, so it's only Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey when convenient.
*Doc Brown: Well, I think the human executions took things a bit too far.
*Terminator: (enters) I'm back!﻿
----
*When Peter gets acid sprayed on him
*Peter: Mr.Pool, I don’t feel so good. I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go
*Deadpool: WRONG PETER, JACKASS﻿
----
*deadpool talks about his kid with vanessa
*vanessa gets killed
*anakin walks in,
*Anakin: “guys i just heard the news, you are going to be a fathe... oh shoot sorry, bad timing”﻿
----
*Deadpool to cable- So, you came from the future. Isn't it a thing thanos can do? And you look exactly like him....
*Cable- No,(hesitates and thinks for a while)
Snaps
Deadpool disintegrated
Cable removes the mask-Alright we're done here﻿
----
*Deadpool: so can you fix the time travel thingy.
*Negasonic: what no who do you think we are we’re literally teenagers who still haven’t finished school I dont know how any of this works, why do people always assume us kids are geniuses.﻿
----
*Cable "my wife and daughter will be safe
*Darth vader "you have a daughter too! This is wonderful you should tell everyone. Hey deadpool did here the news.﻿
----
Cable:what the heck do you think your doing?
DP: I'll tell you winter Thanos soilder. I'm waking the Juggernaut up.
Domino: that seems like a incredibly bad idea.
Cable: I'm still trying to wrap my head around who thanos is.
DP: WAKE UP! Slaps Juggernaut wake while breaking his own hand in the process BLEEEEEEEEEP
Juggernaut: WAAAAAH! why you wake me up.
Deadpool: cause you didn't say it once in this film.
Juggernaut: say what.
Deadpool: you Know.
Juggernaut: yeah I know.
Deadpool and Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUT BIT-Juggernaut gets knocked out by caps sheild
Steve Rodgers walks up.
Steve: language.
Deadpool: I was gonna say female dog I swear!﻿
----
*Batman enters the x force team member selections
*Deadpool: any powers?
*Batman : I am batman!!
*batman gets thrown out, and hears Peter's selection from outside﻿
----
Deadpool: “alright get ready to jump!”
Domino: “why don’t we just land this helicopter instead of jump from it? I mean most people here probably won’t survive the landing considering the wind and the fact that they haven’t skydived before... plus if I land the chopper we’ll all not die”
Deadpool: “luck doesn’t fix everything! It’s not vibranium!”
*Film ends
Deadpool: “I guess luck does fix everything”
*Quicksilver shaking his head in the background﻿
----
*Dynamo shows up and sees Deadpool without his mask for the first time.
Dynamo: Woah! I've never seen you without your mask before.
Deadpool:This IS my mask.
Dynamo: How is that even poss-
Deadpool: BECUASE I'M BATMAN!!!﻿
----
*Dp: (at the cafe) I kinda feel like this was underplayed
*Cable: What do you mean
*Dp: Well Thanos, it feels like a bunch of sweaty nerd who praise some Internet animator wrote it.
*Bat man: What are you talking about, it was awesome.
*Superman: You learned how to be kinder
*Colossus: year u learned how to be a real hero
*Domino: yeah we were lucky
*Russel: and don’t forget going back in time to kill green lantern.
*Dp: oh yeah the movie was awesome, I was talking about HISHE. Hey, this joke was used.
*Universe implodes*(except for Batman)﻿
----
*DP: Cable?
*Cable: What do you want?
*DP: Since when did you become a purple version of Homer Simpson?
*Cable: YOU SON OF A-﻿
----
When Deadpool is hiring xforce thanos comes in Deadpool snaps his finger thanos starts fading
Thanos: Aw man
Deadpool: F
Captain America runs in :LANGUAGE!!!
Deadpool shoots captain america﻿
----
*dp to cable- so you’re from the future, like Thanatos, right?
*cable- what no
*dp- you look exactly like him yknow
*cable- shut up!
*dp-just less purple
*cable- snaps fingers
*dp disintegrates
*cable- removes mask revealing Thanatos alright we’re done here﻿
----
*show the scene where peter comes in asking about the ad. then immediately after, have *batman come in
*dp- who are you
*batman- im batman
*dp- okay... any super powers?
*batman- im batman
*dp- cool you’re in
*dp-.... wait no never mind studio doesn’t have enough money for a cameo﻿
----
*Girlfriend dies.
*Deadpool : Oh no ! She's dead... But I know what to do.
*Weasel : Adopting ?
*Deadpool : What ? No !
*Weasel : You know, getting the kid you both wanted so much.
*Deadpool : We already have enough baby legs in this movie ! No, what I'm talking about is...
*(At the super café)
*Deadpool : Sup' Supes !
*Superman : Oh no...
*Deadpool : Hey big guy, funny meeting you here. I'd need a tinsy-tiny favor.
*Superman : I am NOT going back in time to save your girlfriend.
*Deadpool : Why not ?! You did it for Spider Garfield and he's a Marvel too !
*Batman : I told you : You shouldn't have done that.
*Superman : Again : How in the world do you know ?
*Batman : BECAUSE I'M-
*Deadpool : WE KNOW ! Gosh, we won't forget you're Batman. Even if they kill you in the next Justice League.
*Batman : Wait, what ?
*Deadpool: ANYwho, how about this : You bring my Vanessa back and I won't bother you again.
*Superman: ...Seriously ?
*Deadpool : I promise.
*Superman : Even if she dies again ?
*Deadpool : Yea yea, I'll have my own time-travel device by then.
*Superman : Oooohh that can't be good.
*Deadpool : You don't get to see me agaaaiiinn...
*Superman : ...All right fine.
*Deadpool : Woohoo !﻿
----
*Dr strange appears and says that the Cables time travel is disrupting the space time continuum.
*Cable ATTACKS
*Dr strange: oh no u don't (freezes him in time)
*DP: wow so you can do that to him but not thanos hmm...interesting!
*DP steals the time stone off dr strange goes back in time to where he saw cable in the villain pub and KILLS him!
*Cuts to super cafe-
*DP : an then I killed him!
*Superman: You can't just destroy the infinity war timeline like that!
*DP: wow that's rich coming from you "Mr fly around the world really fast and destroy the timeline"
*Batman: I would save the day without ruining the timeline.
*DP: And why is that. Eyes sparkling waiting for it ...
*Batman: because I'm batman!!
*DP: Yes, yes you are ya know if I played my cards right I could have been you
*Batman: what?
*DP : nothing﻿
----
*Cable goes back in time when Thor puts his axe in Thanos chest.
*Thanos: You should have aimed for the head.
*(Cable comes out of portal and shoots Thanos in the head.)
*Cable: I'm the only one who gets to wear metal on their arm.
*(Cable then turns to face the Winter soldier.)﻿
----
Domino: who is that
Juggernaut: im the juggernaut bit..
Captain Amerika: LANGUAGE﻿
----
*Deadpool: do we have that in slow motion?
*Director: yep, and it looks sooooooo cool.
*(Hear bangs and zaps.)
*Palpatine: I'm the new director and I say no slow motion! But we shall rule the directing world with the power of the dark side.﻿
----
Dead Pool (DP): Hey, hey this isn't over. I wanted to touch time all over.
He uses the watch and goes forward in time. There he pops up in Wakanda just as thor stabbed Thanos and cuts off thanos hand with his sword. He takes his hand and uses the gauntlet. There we see an alternate life for him where he is lounging with the women of the MCU while wolverine and beast are his pets.
A little girl pops up and says she needs his help to which he replies,
"My hero days are over. I'm sorry" and he snaps his finger and transports her away to the cosmos and she turns into the phoenix force. She, Galatus, Silver surfer and others charge towards earth and it ends with him, snapping his finger an making himself leave that world and enter ours.﻿
----
*Juggernaut- I’m gonna rip you in half now!
*Deadpool- Ha! That’s such a Juggernaut thing to say!
*Hulk then comes
*Hulk- NO! Hulk RIP YOU IN HALF NOW!
*Quicksilver- Bet you didn’t see that coming!﻿
----
*Deadpool- I can’t let you kill the kid!
*Cable- I have every right to!
*Deadpool- and why is that?
*Cable- BECAUSE I’M BATMAN! And Thanos. I’m Thanos too.﻿
----
*START OF SCENE
*(BATMAN, SUPERMAN, CABLE AND DEADPOOL AT THE CAFE)
*(Juggernaut jumps into frame)
*Juggernaut (says to Batman): Hey pal, do me a favor and scoot over
*(Batman grunts, but moves over)
*(Conversation starts, and eventually leads to Batman saying his famous HISHE catchphrase)
*Batman: Well... I'm Batman.
*Juggernaut: I'm the Juggernaut!
*Batman: I'm Batman!
*Juggernaut: I'm the Juggernaut!
*(This banter goes on for as long as 30 seconds or less)
*(Banter between Batman and Juggernaut, then ends)
*(Silence goes on for a while, then Batman breaks the silence)
*Batman (in a gravelly, whisper): I'm Batman...
*END OF SCENE or HISHE EPISODE﻿
----
*START OF SCENE
*(ALTERNATE SCENE OF WHAT I POSTED POSTED)
*(Cable and Deadpool fighting)
*(Deadpool drops, gasping for air)
*(Cable smiles)
*Cable: You should of gone for the head
*Deadpool (confused): What?
*(Cable is shown with the Infinity Gauntlet, snaps his fingers)
*(Deadpool drops)
*Deadpool: Mr. Cable, I don't feel so good
*(Deadpool starts to fade away)
*(Before Deadpool leaves the frame)
*Deadpool: Oh I get it! You're Thanos! Well, bye!
*(Deadpool finally fades away)
*(Cable looks at the camera)
*Cable: Role reversal!
*END OF SCENE﻿
----
*(Cable and Deadpool fighting)
*(Cable drops, gasping for air)
*Cable: What are you?
*Deadpool: I'm Batman!
*(Batman suddenly appears)
*(Batman: Are you?
*(Deadpool and Cable look at each other, surprised)
*Deadpool: What are you doing here get outta my movie!
*(Batman walks out of frame, then 5 seconds later jumps back into frame)
*Batman (in a small, whispering voice): I'm Batman...
*(Batman again walks off screen)
*(Cable looks at Deadpool, then pauses 5 seconds, then responds): Isn't he DC?
----
*Deadpool :-Hahaha I can't be killed. Hahaha
*Thanos arrives snaps his finger everyone else turns in to ashes ..
*Thanos :- hahahaha
*Deadpool :- come on dude ! I was just kidding that's what I do..
*After 2 seconds
*Deadpool :- UHM ! Everyone is turning into ashes then what what about my movie..
*Deadpool then goes in the past..( laughing) .
*And take this scene in the avengers Deadpool goes in the past fight with the avengers against Thanos and telling them every thing what will happen and he tells Thor to Aim for the hand not head ( in the last scene before Thanos snaps his finger) then Thanos like
*Thanos :- come on man you just ruin the whole movie then Deadpool comes
*Deadpool :- UHM UHM ! And you ruin mine..
*Thanos :- who the he** (captain language) who are you
*Deadpool :- I am Batman
*Thanos :- no you are not you don't even look like Batman
*Deadpool :- it is because I am Batman
*Thanos :- You sure about that.
*Deadpool :- yes ! Why
*Batman arrives .
*Captain :- hey Batman
*(Deadpool hides behind thonos)
*Batman :- you guys are still alive I came here to steal some vibranium Nah not some All and I am also here if there is a space for me in MCU﻿
----
*Cable : "that was an exhausting I need a drink"
*Deadpool : "I know a place"
*Cable : "what some sort of cafe?"
*Deadpool : "Cafe? so I can sit with those losers and sip tea? I got standards"
*Cable : "Do you really? (quick shot of Green Lantern and other Deadpool)
*Deadpool : "That never happened!!!"
*Deadpool and Cable arrive at a place with pool tables, a bar, etc.
*They are greeted by the Punisher who is the bartender.
*Cable : What is this place?
*Deadpool : Anti-hero Lounge.
----
The juggernaut
I’m gonna rip you in half.
(He tries and fails)
DP
You okay there, Juggy?
Jug
Yeah, I’m only just getting started.
DP
Sorry, viewers. This might take a while.
Or
Jug
I’m gonna rip you in half-
(Gets hit in the head by a batarang)
DP
What the, this isn’t the DC Universe Batman. How are you even aloud here?
BATMAN
IT’S BECAUSE I’M BATMAN!﻿
----
*Gf dies
*Dp: like I said produced by Asshats asshats!!
*Cable: let me kill the kid and I'll give you the time thing
*Dp:sure whispers I'll just fix you killing him later
*Cable:What
*Dp:bye
*Later at dead pool house
*Dp:that's what I forgot to do
*Dp Origins: mumbles (with captions) this is why I wasn't the classic dp so things like this didn't happen﻿
----
*Deadpool:whats u power
*Bedlam:i can distract electricity.
*Deadpool:ok sparkles,and whats you power.
*Dopinder:i am a awesome driver.
*Deadpool:NO
*Weasel:why not?
*Deadpool:we have a awesome driver,Me.
*Shatterstar:my power is sword mastery.
*Deadpool:dude i am the sword master.
*Peter:i can make awesome salad
*Domino:my power is luck.
*Deadpool:thats not a power.
*In a fight between cable and deadpool.
*Deadpool:go away thanos.
*Cable:its cable green lantern.
*Domino:hi
*A tree falls on cable.
*Domino: i told u i was lucky﻿
----
When the bad guy is about to shoot Deadpool’s girlfriend, have Deadpool from Wolverine’s origins from behind the door frame cut the bad guy’s head of with his hand blade and have him have him try to say after wards “H’mm Hmm Hmmm Hmm Hmmm Hm”. Then the present Deadpool says “what?” So the other Deadpool says again but louder “Hmm Hmmmm Hmm Hm Hmmm Hmm!” The present day Deadpool just says “Um... what??” So the other Deadpool finally cuts his mouth open and says “I said I’m, just... FIXING THE TIME LINE!” and when Deadpool is about to shoot the other Deadpool Green Lantern shows up and kills the other Deadpool and says to the present Deadpool “you should let real super heroes deal with bad guys”﻿
----
Have the ice box put Juggernaut on a spectate truck.
Security Guard 1: gee, i'm sure glad we didn't put the Juggernaut on that truck that got ambushed that had all those less dangerous criminals and that didn't have any guards on it.
Security Guard 2: i know right! Like...why would we do that? it just makes so much sense to relocate the juggernaut alone with like a bazillion guards to watch over him.﻿
----
*When the X men have the party in the background have professor X on the ground saying “MY CHAIR!!”
*Colossus: Wade comrade give up the rolling chair to master
*Wade: I want my girl back
*Quicksilver: What!
*Wade: NES!
*Quicksilver: (Smiles)
*Shoes the fight scene where she dies!
*Wade: Get down:
*Quicksilver: I could save time could save all of your time! I could save all of the time!
*(Shows him deflect bullets like in first avengers)
----
When he is recruiting the X-Force.
*THE HULK: (walks in the room)
*DEADPOOL: Go make a good movie.
*THE HULK: HULK SAD!
*GREEN LANTERN: Hey guys.
*DEADPOOL: (shoots him in the head) NEXT!
*HAWKEYE: Hello I'm here.
*DEADPOOL: Any powers you want to tell us about?
*HAWKEYE: Well I'm good with a bow and arrow.
*DEADPOOL: Sorry but we already have somebody with luck on this team.
*HAWKEYE: But I...
*DEADPOOL: LEAVE GREEN ARROW!
*DEADPOOL: Ok I think are team is ready.
*(on the plane we see Deadpool, CW Flash, Elsa, Harley Quinn, Christian Bale Batman, Doctor Strange, Owen Grady, and Frozone.
*DEADPOOL: Wait what? Where's Wolverine?
*BATMAN: He's retired.
*DEADPOOL: What! How do you know that.
*BATMAN: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!
*DEADPOOL: FINE I'LL GET HIM BACK.
*Deadpool go's to Hugh Jackmans house.
*DEADPOOL: Honey I'm home!
*HUGH: NO WADE I'M RETIRED!
*DEADPOOL: Wha- Wha- Wha- Wha- Wha- Wha- Wha- WHAT!
*FROZONE: SAY WHAT AGAIN!﻿
----
Deadpool comes out from a portal and ends up in avengers infinity war:
THANOS: you should have gone for the head.
Deadpool comes and cuts off thanos’s head
DEADPOOL: asta la vesta my friend!﻿
----
Deadpool is sitting in the cafe with Batman, and super Superman
Deadpool: So we saved the kid, Cable decided to save me, and I fixed the timeline everything is perfect
Batman: But if you fixed the time machine why doesn’t Ca...
Deadpool: (interrupts Batman) Shhhhhhhhhhhh, you don’t need to be the detective here
Superman: Burn!
Deadpool: (points at Superman) As for you why are you so anxty in your masters movies? Is it a need to appeal to a younger (air quotes) more hip generation, or are you just going through a phase like teenage years or Christopher Nolan always.
In the background the Nolan Joker shows up
Joker: Do you want to see a magic trick.
Deadpool: (to Joker) like somebody taking the time to right this script? (to audience) Yeah, here’s the cliche 4th wall break, here’s looking at you kid.﻿
----
*In the beginning. Logan dies
*Deadpool comes in from a portal:
*DEADPOOL: Hey another r - rated film! Now that is lazy writing.﻿
----
when juggernaut rips DeadPool in half:
juggernaut:i rip you in half now
dp: thats such a juggernaut thing to say
half dead vison walks in
Vison: have any of you seen Tony Stark?
dp: No but i heard he's .. REACHING FOR THE STARS AGAIN
BUD DUM DISSSSSS
Juggernaut: looks at dp you definitely need to ripped in half now
dp: NO NO NO WAIT WAIT!
RIPPPPPP
dp: AHHH SH-
captain america: LAUNGUAGE!﻿
----
*Venessa: I just got rid of my birth control.
*Darth Vader: Your a father!
*Wade: Not yet.
*Darth Vader: What?
*Wade: It’s just her birth control, we haven’t done the thing yet.
*Darth Vader: Oh, I'll come back later. Sorry!
*Wade: Don’t bother, she'll most likely be dead by then.
*Venessa: What!?!?
*Wade: Yeah. It’s gonna happen. It’s gonna be really sad. But don’t worry. In the end, I'll get my hands on a time machine and save you, before you get shot.
*Venessa: Or you could go back to make it so that you actually kill the guy who kills me back in the warehouse. That way, I don’t have to pay the insurance company for a new f*cking door, Wade!
*Captain America: LANGUAGE LADY!
*Wade: ARRGH! SKRULL!
----
*﻿Deadpool: So what’s your power?
*Professor X: Telepathy.
*Deadpool: Well you’re not in.
*Professor X: Why?
*Deadpool: Well because your on a wheelchair and we can’t let a wheelchair into the team.
OR
Any scene of Deadpool fighting Cable:
*Cable: Snaps fingers
*Deadpool: Oh motherf-
*Colossus turning into dust: Language, ple....﻿
----
*Deadpool: Zip it, Thanos!
*Cable: Alright, I'm pissed! (Cable puts on the Thanos gauntlet snaps his fingers and Deadpool vaporises, turning to ashes)
OR
*Tony Stark aka Iron Man: Tell me his name again.
*Deadpool: Cable! He time-travels, he saves his family, he saves me! (looks around) Wait! Wrong movie. Sorry.
*Juggernaut: Now I'm gonna rip you half!
*Deadpool: WHAT?
*Juggernaut: Then, I'm going to shred your brain and ** into little pieces and feast on your blood! (rips him into half ... And you know what else)
----
*Deadpool starts to time travel. Kills himself when we fought with Wolverine, and then *going to Avengers Infinity War and kills Thanos when the avengers fought with hem on Titan.
*The 12th doctor (from Doctor Who), Dr. Brown (from Back To The Future) and Doctor Strange watching at Deadpool when he is on Thanos' chair.
*12th Doctor: "Didn't you learned from us to NOT time travel?"
*Deapool: "Yeah, i dont care..."
*Deapool shooting at the 12th Doctor and he regenerate to the 13th Doctor.
*Dr. Brown: "You have to stop it!"
*Deapool: "Why would i?"
*Dr. Brown: "Because its dangerous!"
*Deapool: "I dont care, you all did this!"
*Deapool using the Infinity Stones to delete thier mouths.
*Deapool: "Ahh... Im touching myself tonight..."
----
*﻿Cable: Who are you?
*Deadpool: I'm Batman
*Batman: Hey, you can't say that, because I'm Batman﻿
----
*Deadpool comes back to the timeline where Vanessa is saved
*Deadpool - ahhh now I can rela--
*Deadpool is cut off and Vanessa fades away
*Deadpool - ... OH COME ON CABLE!!!﻿
----
*Deadpool looks round Deadpool: What do you want?
*Rob Liefeld: Um...can you not make fun of me? The internet has kind of already done that. *Deadpool: Now why would I do that? You made me...OK, you didn't make me exactly. Other people wrote me and did me better.
*Rob: OK... Deadpool: And you definitely can't draw feet. Rob: I'm the opposite of Quentin Tarantino ok? Feet disgust me.
*Deadpool: And people don't really know who you are. So I promise I won't make fun of you (directly).
*Rob: What was that?
*Deadpool: Nothing. You go home now and draw some impossible anatomy while making fun milk with your hand whisk.﻿
----
*Deadpool: Any superpowers you wanna tell us about?
*Peter: No, I don't have any. I just saw your ad.
*Deadpool: No, no, no! We don't need any more funny characters! The writers are NOT going to include a lazy laugh out ####### loud parachute scene, causing me to go back in time and stop you jumping to your death! Stop trying to steal the fans! You're not in!
*Peter: Oh come on!﻿
----
*Dopinder listens to his music
*DP comes running
*DP: START THE GODAM CAR
*DOP: why
----
*Vanessa gets shot
*DP: No way! She needs to become a copycat! Writers, that was really dramatic but... come on resurrect her how you did with Xavier﻿
----
*Deadpool gets cable's time machine cut to Infinity war scene "you should have aimed for the head" pistol comes from off screen pointed at thanos's head (just see the wrist of person holding it) BANG (camera pans out to show deadpool) "don't mind me just fixing the MCU" unloads pistol into thanos's corpse "I think my work here is done uses
----
*Deadpool: no no no its all wrong this movie was perfect. What is wrong with you people. You guys are assho-
*Twang
*Captain America: LANGUAGE!!﻿
----
*DP: and why? You think because you're rich and Ben Affleck you can just claim whatever you want?
*Batman: no. Because I'm Batman
*Superman: oh my gosh, can we just go back to the story?﻿
----
*First, when Vanessa tells Wade they can start a family, there are sci-fi noises and lights outside and then Darth Vader bursts in and says: "You guys are gonna be parents? That's incredible. You must tell everyone." Then when the guys burst in Vader just kills them so they don't ruin the moment.
*Second, when Deadpool travels through time he appears on the planet from Infinity War that I can't remember the name of, and stops Starlord from stopping the others from taking the Infinity Gauntlet. Then, I don't know, he says: "Oops, wrong timeline," or something﻿
----
*Guard 1: --and when you put the collars on, say they're really difficult to remove. Like, I dunno...you need a grenade to take it off.
*Guard 2: Are they really that tough?
*Guard 1: Pfft, No! Do you know how expensive it'd be to make'em that strong? No, these thing's will short-circuit from a gunshot or smashing a rock on it or something.
*Guard 2: So we tell'em they'd need a grenade, so they won't bother trying to break the collars off?
*Guard 1: Exactly. That and it's kinda fun to mess with'em. Almost as fun and beating them!
*Guard 2: Hope that doesn't become an issue later.
*Guard 1: Nah, we'll be fine.﻿
----
*Dp: hey there you big purple dinosaur, why don't you surrender the gauntlet nicely and we can go on the rest of our lives wondering how you change colors and height proportions?
*Thanos: never. You too will die trying.
*Dp. News flash, tinky winky! I can't die. deadpool takes out a katana and slices the gauntlet off of thanos arm.
*Dp: There! looks to cap Nice to see your arms are still intact general. dissapere﻿
----
*cable:who are you?
*deadpool:IM BATMAN wait that was in the movie.﻿
----
*CABLE: Firefist, I am your father!
*FIREFIST: NOOOOOOOOOO!﻿
----
*Deadpool turns just in time to see the group
*Deadpool: HOLY *BEEEEEP*! The studio was nice this time?
*Colossus: What are you talking abo....
*Deadpool interrupts
*Deadpool: ZIP IT CYBORG
*He walks into the room with the X-men
*Deadpool: You mind if I join in?
*Professor X: If I were me from the seventies, I would’ve blown your head up by now.
*Jean: I’M ON IT!
*Professor X: NO!
*Cut to Colossus as blood splatters onto his face
*(Voice over) Deadpool: WAS THAT NECESSARY? I MEAN, YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME TO LEAVE YOU KNOW! BEEP GUYS!﻿
----
*DP:Why'd you do that? Now my epic sacrifice was for nothing! And Cable, who was about to go back in time and do the same thing, awkwardly moves
----
*Deadpool is in his living room with Vanessa having gone back in time and saved her
*Deadpool: Man, you would not believe what happened. Thank God I had that convenient time travel doodad to save the day.
*Pans to the TV
*News Reporter: And earlier today there was a murder at a terribly run abusive mutant based orphanage
*Switches to footage of Cable shooting Russel in the head
*Deadpool: Oh bleep I knew I forgot something!﻿
----
*Cable: I'm hear for the kid.
*DP: fine, kill him. He doesn't matter to me.
*Russell: what??????? V
----
*Deadpool looks at Weasel and says, " no wonder they made you the meh emoji". Weasel says ," since I'll probably won't be in the next movie, I'll just say bye now". Deadpool says, " no wait... Just start saying you hate Trump and Hollywood will make it all go away just like they did for De Niro."﻿
----
*deadpool bombs scenes of the avengers disintegrating by dancing to Celine Dion's song "ashes".
*well not really how deadpool should have ended, it's more how infinity war should have ended, but then again dead pool's perfect right?﻿
----
*deadpool sits with supes and bats in the supercafé and they are seeing in the background comcast and disney fighting over fox. one of them wins (not really matter which one) but the plottwist is batman paid them both so now he owns the rights of deadpool. deadpool used his line in the movie "i'm batman" so this is his revenge and when they ask how did he do it he says: "because i'm batman"﻿
----
Deadpool get erased when thanos snaps his finger
and when he goes back in time he kills Francis
and when he goes back in time and save his girlfriend he erased the plot of the movie﻿
----
*Deadpool: Why are you carrying that hobo bear.
*Cable: it's my daughters.
*Deadpool: wait a minute gamora had a teddy bear. I've got to tell Drax
*Drax on screen
----
*Thanos: you should have gone for that head
*Deadpool: starts to fade and regen at the same time why is that happening. Its so painful
*Cable: looks like Thanos snapped his fingers
*Deadpool: But you are Thanos
*Cable: what...
*Deadpool: nothing.﻿
----
Deadpool "luck isn't a superpower"
Domino "yes it is"
Obi wan "in my exspirece there is no such thing as luck"﻿
----
*Deadpool: you’d think the studio would throw in a couple x-men
*Colossus: they will, but they need to be cast by Disney
*Mickey Mouse appears out of the shadows
*Mickey: I AM NOW IN CONTROL!!!!﻿
----
DeadPool: Why don’t you just go further in the past and kill him as a baby?
Cable: The farther I go the harder it is to return to my time.
DeadPool: Can’t you just fix it? A future guy like you has a better chance then two girls in a school.
Cable: You know what that’s actually not a bad idea. Teleports to the past
DeadPool: Oh f#%k﻿
----
*Deadpool: Hey aren't you Thanos?
*Cable: uhhhhhhhh﻿
----
*DP:Wait,if I saved Vanessa,then I never visited Blind Al,that means that I never killed myself,which means...
*"Russel screaming "Help! Thanos came for me!""Deadpool chuckles""gunshot"
*DP:Gotta go.﻿
----
*deadpool: what the f-
*captain America: language!
*deadpool: fine you mother f-
*captain America: language!﻿
----
*DP:Do you wanna know how i got these scars
*Cable:youre not gonna say from batman are you?﻿
----
DP:does it burn only your hand or your arm
Russo:It burns through my di...
Captain America:Language!!﻿
----
*Dp: who the
*Ca:language
*And hits him with shield
*Dp:what the
*Ca:language!
*And hits him again
*Cable:I'm gonna go﻿
----
*Deadpool time travels and saves Peter (not Parker)
*Deadpool:go home sugar pie
*Peter:Mr.Deadpool , I don't feel so good
*Deadpool cuts paracute and holds Peter as he fades away
*Dp: No Peter why marvel do you have to make us so sad. You know what screw it.
*Time travels. Chops off infinity gauntlet. Starts thowing moons at thanos through sobs.
Dp: well at least we still have yukio
----
*Cable shoots at Russell'
*Deadpool jumps in but....
*Quicksilver stops the bullet
*Quicksilver: you didn't see that coming???﻿
----
*Deadpool revive wolverine
*Wolverine calls all the x men
*And help the avengers
*When deadpool say zip it thanos to cable the real thanos appears and said "No you zip it green lantern"
*Deadpool just kills the actor who played thanos. And said to the marvel universe fans "Your all welcome"﻿
----
*Dp: peter what the heck
*Ca: langu oh you didn't use bad language﻿
----
Headmaster:YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION
(Fire fist turns into Abomination)
Abomination/FireFist: I know right
DeadPool:That's not such an Abomination thing to say﻿
----
*Dp:hey are you the person that directed this movie
*Man:No
*Bm: I'm Batman!
*Bad guy and DP are kicked by BM﻿
----
Peter P: gotta help Mr. Stark. pulling on suit gotta help Mr. Stark.
Deadpool: appears Peter! Just walk away. Stop and just walk away.
Peter P: Who tf are you???
Deadpool: just walk the f*** away!!!!﻿
----
*deadpool is telling the movies story in superhero's café to batman and superman.
*deadpool: and there's a happy ending family movie
*superman: wish it was that simple back in my time
*batman: i don't need time correction, batman makes no mistake
*batman:(whisper to deadpool) joker in the nurse outfit still gives me nightmare
or fix bvs dawn of justice﻿
----
*In the end Wade buys a manor and says "this house is familiar, I will call it the wade manor." Vanessa says "Wade why you buy it?" Wade says "I'm rich also I saved your life from an unexpected attack" Vanessa says "Wow how it happened and how you saved me?" Wade says "It is a long story" Colossus says "Waaaaade!" Manor is actually X-mansion﻿
----
*An Ironman 3 style end credits scene where Cable & Deadpool are sitting at Weasel's bar & Cable is telling Deadpool his story only to notice he is sleeping, then Cable snaps his finger to wake him up Deadpool gets up saying "Did you just... no... no... VANESSA!!!!! & runs out of the bar.﻿
----
*Deadpool and the gang arrive at the orphanage
*Deadpool : wait a second why don’t we try this ?!
*continues to run into the orphanage and kill the headmaster
*Cable: Awwwwww I wanted to make the plan all morally significant with you dying and the kid learning life lessons
*Colossus: That’s messed up﻿
----
*Juggernaut: "You want me to team up with because you gave me ONE tray of badly cook food?"
*Fire Fist: "Yes...."
*Juggernaut: "Right..." (Kills Fire Fist)
*Cable: "Well my work is done. See you in Deadpool 3"
*Deadpool: "Wait? What?!"﻿
----
*Deadpool: So, what are your superpowers?
*Peter: I don't have any. I just saw this ad and went for it.
*Also a ton of people on the internet think I am secretly a mutant or something and have these crazy lava finger blades so, who knows maybe I'll discover my ability in some cool, cinematic and surprising way?!!!?
*Deadpool: Are you sure? Don't you think that is a little too far fetched?
*Peter: Nah. You are probably right.﻿
----
*Deadpool starts to sing "Do You Want to Build a Snowman." Then, Elsa comes rushing in.
*Elsa: Stop or Disney is going to take the video down!
*Deadpool: What does that matter? I'm soon going to be owned by them anyway. Chuckle Double entendre.﻿
----
*DP:Im A F--
*Cpt America:Language
*DP:WE ALEADY DID THIS IN THE FIRST TRAILER!﻿
----
*Deadpool uses the time machine to save Thomas and Martha Wayne so that Batman doesn't exist. When he gets to the Cafe he finds Batman is still there with his parents. Why?, Because he's Batman!!!﻿
----
*Deadpool goes back in time and says to Bruce Wayne "oops wrong cinematic universe my bad"﻿
----
*Cable : Who are you?
*Deadpool : I’m Batman (With the batman face)
*Cable: Whaaaaaaat!﻿
----
*Juggernaut: I’m gonna rip you in half!
*Deadpool: that’s a really good juggernaut quote
*rips him in half
*Deadpool: ahhhhhh
*Juggernaut: now I’m gonna rip your arms off
*And your head
*Deadpool: ahhh man I can’t feel nothing
*At blind al’s home@
*Deadpool: head bigger than body
*Weasel: you look like an angry bird, but with a small body You look like a smurf, that turned red and his head grew You look like a funko pop
*Deadpool: yeah I know﻿
----
*Juggernaut- I’m gonna rip you in half !!!
*Deadpool- But we have a hulk!!
*Hulk beats up Juggernaut
*Juggernaut gets ripped in half﻿
----
After an intense scene involving Domino having extreme luck, she gets hit by a car. Deadpool follows with, “SEE! I TOLD you that luck isn’t a superpower!”
*Domino, suddenly appearing, unscathed*: “Sorry What was that?”
Deadpool: Oh for crying out loud!﻿
----
*Deadpool: that dudes got a winter soldier arm ( the line from the film)
(Rocket Racoon to Cable
*Rocket: How much for the arm?
*Cable: its not for sale
*Rocket: God Damn it! Everytime! (something like that)﻿
----
*Cable shows up
*Deadpool: Well, this is going to be awkward when Disney buys Fox﻿
----
*So I have 2 ideas: one is, when Cable is asked about his bear and comments on it being the blood of his daughter then Deadpool says “Which daughter?”; confusing Cable. Another one is, when Deadpool kills Ryan Reynolds he begins fading away; revealing Thanos and, as Deadpool goes to swear then Captain America yells “Language!”﻿
----
*Star lord: weres gamora
*Thanos: my gamora
*Star lord: YOU DIDN'T
*deadpool goes back in time stabs Star lord though the chest﻿
----
*When they are at the Super Café you should have Batman say, “Wait a minute — when Cable timeslides, he doesn’t actually turn time back; he just transports himself into the past. Turning time back would probably require spinning the earth backwards a few times. So how is it that when you use his technology to save Vanessa, there aren’t two of you?” Then have Deadpool say, “Well, we don’t talk about that.” and cut to a shot of Wade’s doppelganger, dead in a dumpster with one of those power-dampening
----
*Superman Yells,"Why Did you say that Name"
*Deadpool Takes the Kriptionite Spear and Stabs Superman."There Problem Solved *Guys"Deadpool Says As He Leaves". A Few moments later he arrives at his Apartment with Vanessa. She Ask, " What took you so Long"
*Deadpool Takes off His Mask and Says ," I just Killed Some People and ...Superman"﻿
----
**Thor stabs Thanos*
*Thor: I told you you'd die for that
*Thanos: You should have gone for the head
*Deadpool: *holding time device* I hate to admit it but Thanos is right. What's fair is fair! *Deadpool shoots Thanos in the head and strikes out "kill Thanos" from a ToDo list, which was the last item in the list below all the things he did at the end of deadpool 2*﻿
----
*Deadpool vs cable prison fight scene:
*Cable:"who are you?"
*Deadpool:(removes mask and turns in to batman) "im batman!!!"
*Batman:"this is my movie now"
*Or
*Deadpool kills Ryan Reynolds scene:
*Deadpool:(kills Ryan) your welcome Canada,oh god (appearance and voice changes) i guess we went with noland north﻿
----
*Cable and Deadpool are fighting
*Cable is winning
*DEADPOOL - "you are so dark are you form D.C. universe "
*BATMAN - "No but I am" (comes saves Deadpool)
*Deadpool - " how the ** beep ** you are here it's my movie"
*Batman - "because I am Batma-"
*Deadpool-"OOOH shut up you over uesd son of bit-"
*Captain America-" language!!!!"﻿
----
Cable: I’m gonna go back and save him
Mega sonic teenage war head: wow wow wow why don’t you just take that thing on his neck off so he can heal
Colossus: plus he wanted this
Cable: oh ya well thanks
(Then he leaves)
Deadpool says with his final breath: wait what about X Force
(then dies)﻿
----
Peter: Should we be worried about the wind advisory????
Deadpool: Actually, yeah that’s a good point. Let’s just get really low and try to stick the landing
——————CUT TO SUPER-CAFE————-
Deadpool: So we all stopped Cable on the truck and saved little Firepissed here.
Firefist: Firefist!
Deadpool: Whatever kid
Superman: But don’t you at all feel bad that you didn’t save Cable’s family? I mean that’s just dark.
Batman: Yeah, you said it yourself. That guys story is dark enough to roll with us.
Deadpool: Eh. I’m sure it’s fine. He hasn’t killed yet so. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there
Domino: That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.
(Collective of X-Force): (Simultaneous 
agreement)
Deadpool: Oh calm it down at least we’re all alive.
(MORE AGREEMENT)
(A FEW SECONDS OF SILENCE)
Deadpool: (Quietly) X-Force﻿
----
Deadpool: Peter!!!
Star Lord: What!!
Spiderman: What’s up!?
Deadpool: Goddam-
Captain America: Language!﻿
----
Deadpool: (Quickly looks around to see if anyone’s watching) (Travels back through time to the events of the infinity war pub scene Deadpool)
Deadpool: Put me in I’ve got some serious betting to do﻿
----
Domino: Luck
Deadpool: Luck isn’t a superpower
Domino: Two words: Lottery Tickets
Deadpool: Well holy ** Batman
Batman: I’M BATMAN﻿
----
*Deadpool : Disney I'm Coming!﻿
----
*Deadpool,Batman and Superman are sitting in the cafe.
*Deadpool: And thats how i became the greatest super hero of all time.
*Superman: Well i am the man of steel so shouldn't i be the best?
*Batman: Phu, "Man of Steel" you could barely lift a cat riding a mouse.
*Superman: There's no need to start some kind of Civil war about all of this.
*Captain America: Wait what?﻿
----
*Dp: having his heart to heart with Russell, trying to change him from killing.
*Then cable shoots Russell!
*Dp: what the heck man I still had time!
*Cable: just shrugs﻿
----
*DP: And this is Dopinder
*Colossus: Ah, so Wade has given you nickname too, but I do not understand what makes you so "dope"﻿
----
*Cable.- Who are you?
*Deadpool.- I'm Batman
*Batman.- No, you don’t
*Cable.- And who are you?
*Batman.- I'm Batman
*Cable.- I'm confused, who is Batman?
*Batman and Deadpool.- Me!!
*Deadpool.- All right let me proof you (DP shoot Batman)
*Deadpool.- See!!! I'm the real Batma...wait what?? (Batman gets up)
*Batman.- I told you I'm Deadp...I'm Batman﻿
----
When Russel tries to talk to the juggernaut, he is greeted by extra security.
Security Guard: Hey kid what are you doing back here? We just had a security breach. You really thing we were not going to keep this area secure, and just allow anyone to walk in the maximum security area unnoticed? i mean...... this guys the juggernaut for crying out loud! Dudes like crazy dangerous!
(Security guards drags Russel away)
Russel: rats.﻿
----
Deadpool: who’s this winter soldier looking motherf..
Captain America: LANGUAGE!
Cable: Cap?!
Captain America: Bucky?!﻿
----
*Deadpool time travels to the MCU and helps Quill out( the part where he finds out Gamora died) by unloading bullets into thanos' head.
*Deadpool: You are welcome MCU.
----
*﻿Cable: Who are you?
*Deadpool: I’m Batman
*(Batman appears)
*Batman: Why did you say that name?
----
*﻿When deadpool is hosting the auditions for the X force, Batman comes in,
*Deadpool: any powers you’d like to tell us about?
*Batman: I’m BATMAN
*Deadpool: that’s not a super power﻿
----
*Deadpool sees cable
*Deadpool :Hey Spider man killer
*Cable : Who’s Spider man
*DEADPOOL:your Thanos
*Cable : No I’m not and who is he
*Deadpool :your a sick Fu
*Captain America :Language
*Cap hit Deadpool with his new shield it and the sharp part stick to his head
*Cap: Sorry
*Cable : it okay he regenerate
*Cap : Thanos your back
*Cable : IM NOT THANOS﻿
----
*Cable : I’m not Thanos
*Deadpool : Sure sure Josh
*Cable :who Josh
*Deadpool : Nobody﻿
----
Crook/Bad guy: Shoots bullet at Vanessa
Deadpool: Kills him and saves Vanessa the first time*
(LATER)
Cable: I’m here to kill the kid
Deadpool: Oh ok. I mean it’s not like I’ve had any kind of life epiphany that could’ve changed this so go on ahead
Cable: Oh cool. Thanks bro. Shoots Firefist in the face﻿
----
*Deadpool meets Cable, then Deadpool is like "THANOS! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR KILLING MY SPIDER BOI!"
*Cable says "What?" then Deadpool kills Cable.﻿
----
Peter: i don't feel so good turns to dust
Deadpool: another one bites the dust and another one
Tony:get out out of here im having my sad moment in the movie!!!!
Deadpool: but i have someone who can beat thanos
Tony:who?
juggernaut appears
Tony:who are you
Juggernaut: im the juggernaut bi-
Cap: LANGUAGE THIS IS PG-13 NOT R SO STOP!﻿
----
*DEADPOOL Dies
*CABLE starts to go for his WATCH. DOMINO stops him.
*DOMINO: Why don't we try unlocking the collar again, like we did earlier in the movie?
*CABLE: What are the odds that would work again?
*DOMINO: [clears throat] My power is luck. Remember?
*CABLE: Oh right.
*CABLE kneels down and unlocks DEADPOOL's COLLAR.
*DEADPOOL: Well that was awkward.﻿
----
*Cable is fighting Deadpool in the shower block.
*Deadpool: you know this seems extremely famil-
*T-800 bursts through the wall.
*T-800: where is John Connor?
*Deadpool: I don't know? Are you his obligatory father figure?
*T-800: affirmat-
*T-1000 interrupts and attacks the T-800, leading the fight offscreen.
*Deadpool: sorry what were we talking about?
*Cable: killing the kid﻿
----
Deadpool: “alright get ready to jump!”
Domino: “why don’t we just land this helicopter instead of jump from it? I mean most people here probably won’t survive the landing considering the wind and the fact that they haven’t skydived before... plus if I land the chopper we’ll all not die”
Deadpool: “luck doesn’t fix everything! It’s not vibranium!”
*Film ends
Deadpool: “I guess luck does fix everything”
*Quicksilver shaking his head in the background﻿
----
*scene with Vanesa
*deadpool killed poeple with kitchen knife
*deadpool: hide! There could be another one like that guy who likes hide and seek!
*vanesa: ah,okay!
*deadpool went to the past and he saw little thanos so he went back to his days and gave thanos to cable
*deadpool: here you go marvel! Now you’ve got to two Josh Brolins together!
----
Russel: SAY IT!!!!
Headmaster: YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION!!!
Tim Roth: No, I am The Abomination!!!
Deadpool: Look, somebody remembers The Incredible Hulk.﻿
----
*Deadpool knows about the high winds
*Let's jump anyway! XForce, ready?
*From the cockpit
*HERES A BRIGHT IDEA! Let's wait a bit for the high winds to pass so almost your entire team doesn't die like a final destination scene?﻿
----
*Deadpool shows up on Titan when everyone is holding the gauntlet, he deadpools-his-way and gets the gauntlet from Thanos and puts it on. He turns Thanos into a (your goofy thing of choice) and then walks away.
*DP(to Spidey): Well hey there~
*Spidey: I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS...MR. STARK HELP
*Tony: You're never gonna be an avenger DP!
*DP: holds up fox contract
*contract fades away like snap*
*Deadpool proceeds to bleep*
----
*Deadpool: travels through time and space to kill thanos (because he's deadpool). He goes to the moment right before Thanos snaps his fingers
*Deadpool: Omg you're cable
*Thanos: What, No!
*Deadpool: I'm very disappointed in you cable
*Thanos: I AM NOT CABLE!!!
*Deadpool: Yes you are!
*Domino: * Arrives out of nowhere and kicks Thanos' head. The kick removes a mask that *Thanos appears to have been wearing, and it turns out that Thanos really is cable.*
*Deadpool: What the fu-
*Captain America: Language
*Deadpool: Don't cut me off old man!﻿
----
*Deadpool travels back in time and is in the Simpsons writing room just before "The Principal and the Pauper" and he kills the entire staff and he turns to Matt Groening and tells him
*Deadpool: go get a head start on Futurama
*Matt Groening: what's Futurama
*Deadpool: ITS A SHOW ABOUT A PIZZA DELIVERY BOY WHO GOES TO THE FUTURE AND HAS ADVENTURES WHILE DELIVERING THINGS
*Matt Groening: that sounds kind of ridiculous
*Deadpool: IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE RIDICULOUS THAT'S WHY HE HAS A ALCOHOLIC ROBOT BEST FRIEND AND IS IN LOVE WITH A ONE EYED GIRL WITH PURPLE HAIR﻿
----
*Deadpool:hey I should make my own hishe!
*hishe crew:what? you can't do that
*deadpool:watch this..
*burn the script of bvs and justice league movie
*make a contract with marvel studios to join the avengers
*cancel venom movie and make him the villain for the second spiderman movie﻿
----
*Deapool walks up to colossus
*Dp: Sorry Tin Man, I got a new friend.
*Colossus: Finally, I've waited for this moment
*Dp: Well, this is goodbye.
*Colossus: Goodbye!
*Colossus kicks Deadpool out of the X-men Mansion
*Dp: Helloooo, Cable!
*Cable: Oh god.﻿
----
*Deadpool: Okay so the plan we para-
*Domino: Or I could use my super useful power and go in by myself
*X-force(except Deadpool): Yeah
*Deadpool; No!
*Domino saves Russel and detains Cable
*Domino: That was easy
*Xforce(except Deadpool): cheers
*Deadpool:*mumbles* its still not very cinematic
*(Quieter)Bedlum: I'm alive﻿
----
*In cafe with batman and superman hangout with deadpool and cable
*Deadpool: wait. Why am i turning sandman?
*Batman: Possibly thanos wipe half of the universe.
*Deadpool: GODAMNIT CABLE!! (Fades away)
*Cable: So... how can i bring him back?
*Superman: You can travel through multiverse right?
*Cable: Oh yeah.
*Travel through mcu
*Kills thanos﻿
----
*Negasonic Teenage Warhead : What's the worst that can happen?
*Scene shifts to Wolverine Origins where the terrible Deadpool appears
*Real Deadpool attemps to kill the terrible one but gets killed instead.
*Terrible Deadpool then takes over movies (minus any speaking roles)
*Negasonic Tennage Warhead : Yeah that could happen...﻿
----
*Cable: Who are you?
*Deadpool: I'm Batman!
*Random Batarang appears and hits Deadpool.
*Deadpool: Ow!
*Batman: Don't steal my line!﻿
----
*When Deadpool dies, Cable goes back to past to give him the token. But Cable lost the
*Token.
*Time Machine Noises
*Cable: Time to save the future.
*Searches for the token like how a person would search for their phone on their body
*Wait... No.. Damn it, I lost it at the prison. This is very unfortunate.
*Time fast forwards
*Deadool Dies
*The gang looks at Cable
*All Yell: COULD YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING!
*Credits roll﻿
----
*Deadpool in the end credits will go into Avengers Infinity War and shoot Thanos in the head before he snaps his fingers.
*Deadpool: Your welcome, Disney. I'll see you Avengers soon.
*The Avengers stare with a weird look.
*This is from Hezekiah Robinson.﻿
----
Cable: who are you?
Deadpool: I’m Batman!
Batman jumps in the scene and fights with Deadpool: “No I’m Batman!”
Cable watching the 2 fight: WTF is going on here?!﻿
----
*Deadpool : "How are you gonna go back?"
*Cable takes out the infinity gauntlet
*Cable : " Cause I'm thanos bi.."
*Cap throws his shield saying "Language".﻿
----
*when cable shows up
*Cable: im he-
*Deadpool: i have one question, WHY DID YOU SNAP YOUR FINGERS
*Cable: wha-
*Director: wrong universe ryan﻿
----
When deadpool gets ripped in half by juggernaut, he should say
“Dang it this —— sucks!”
Darthmaul appears - ripped in half
“Tell me about it”﻿
----
*Superman: So you killed Green Lantern?!
*Deadpool: Yeah. Put a bullet right through his head
*Batman: Well that changes everything. Doesn't it???
*Superman: It's okay. He never could make a good movie.
*Batman: But isn't that bad for us?? I mean everything now changes.
*Superman: You're right
*Deadpool becomes green lantern
*Batman: You went back in time and killed Deadpool. Didn't you??
*Superman: How do you?.... Never mind don't........
*Batman: It's because I'm Batman
*Superman: Dang it I knew you would say that. Didn't Cable say Deadpool isn't a hero??
*Batman: Yea heard he kills the whole marvel universe.
*Superman: You think I did a bad thing reversing the time??
*Batman:Maybe.
*Superman: No it's okay. We are stronger than them. That why we won Marvel vs DC
*Batman: Yeah you're right.
*Superman: Hey do you think at least the next Deadpool movie will not be R rated and will not give out spoilers.
*Batman:Hmmm. No Never.
*Superman: Yeah you're right.
----
*﻿Deadpool: We're going to stop Cable by landing really far away from the truck.
*Domino: Shouldn't we land closer?
*Bedlum: Yeah, to reduce the chance anyone dies.
*Deadpool: None of you are going to die, atleast that's what the trailer says.
*X-Force: Land Closer!
*Deadpool: Fine!
*Deadpool and the X-Force proceeds to rescue Russel and beat up Cable and leave Juggernaut behind.﻿
----
*(The part where Deadpool comes to calm down russel as an x man trainee)
*Russel: I’m firefist, and you better back the f*ch away before I-
*Thanos: ( teleports into the scene) Actually, word just got in that Marvel can’t have two movies where a character’s hands are important, so- (finger guns to russel and a laser hits his right weenis(outer elbow skin)) There we go, now you can be Fire-Weenis. (Teleports away)
*Everyone: (blankly stares)
*Russel: (weenis starts on fire) AAAGHHHH!!!﻿
----
*Peter: is anyone else worried about the high winds?
*Deadpool: shut up Pe-
*Domino: Actually that’s a good point why are we in a plane? Can’t we go in a van or something?
*Deadpool: awwwww, but the plane is awesome!﻿
----
*(Deadpool received Palpatine beep.)
*(He knows that it means thathe has to watch a video that they give him before ban him from the pub.)
*Deadpool watches the video of Palpatine talking.
*PALPATINE (In the video): If you watch this video, it's because all the villains are dead. You are our only hope, if you help us, you'll be an important part of the Villain Pub community.
*DEADPOOL: Be a part of the Villain Pub? MY CHILD DREAM!!!!
&*Big montage of Deadpool going back in time, and stop litterally all the future from the Infinity War HISHE, and causing the original movie ending to happen.)
*(Then, in the villain pub:)
*PALPATINE: Great job, Deadpool, you saved all of us.
*DEADPOOL: Oh, it's nothing. So, can I be part of the team, now?
*PALPATINE: .... No.
*DEADPOOL: Wait, WHAT?
*(Bowser Lex Luthor'ed Deadpool out of the pub.)
*DEADPOOL: YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE! I'M GONNA MAKE MY OWN PLACE NOW!
*(One week later.)
*ANTIM HORTONS. The Antihero place (feat. Deadpool, Punisher, Walter White, Catwoman, Killerfrost, Deathstroke, Wolverine, Scott Pilgrim, The Mask, Skorpion and Subzero, Rorshack, Megamind, the X-Force, Severus Snape, Travis Bickle, Ghost Rider, Hellboy, Spawn, etc.)﻿
----
*Batman: "Because I'm Batman!"
*Juggernaut: "And I'm the Juggernaut, bit-"
*Juggernaut gets hit with Captain America's shield
*Captain America: LANGAUGE!!
----
*Cable: Who Are You?
*Deadpool: I’m Batman!
*Cable: I’m Thanos nice to meet you
*Cable Pulls Out Infinity Gauntlet And Clicks Fingers*
*Deadpool: Oh No I Don’t feel so goo......*Disintegrates*
*Cable: Hehehe Shoulda went for the Head.....or Arm!﻿
----
*Deadpool : What's your power?
*Groot : I am Groot,
*Deadpool : Uh huh?
*Groot : I am Groot.
*Deadpool : Uh huh...
*Groot : I am Groot.
*Deadpool : You're in!﻿
----
*Or
*Cable: Who are you?
*DP: I'M Batman!
*Batman: No you're not! (Batman gives DP a paper.) You had just been sued, Deadpool. BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!
*Cable: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?????﻿
----
*Deadpool: Did you know there is a second time for everything? Regens
*Cable: What the f**k?!
*Deadpool: No language in this movie.
*(Deadpool picks a knife and throws it into Cable's mouth, killing him
*Deadpool: And they say I'm a loudmouth....﻿
----
*​M. Night Shyamalan- your gonna be a star (holding a script of the last Airbender then Deadpool shoots the director)
*Deadpool- you're welcome Japan.﻿
----
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!!
*and then deadpool insults him and so poor bats storms off in a huff. on his way out the door he tries to hit on domino.
*batman: wanna know my secret identity?
*domino: Bruce Wayne?
*batman: How could you possibly know that?! I'M NOT EVEN FRON THIS FRANCHISE!!
*domino: shrugs lucky guess﻿
----
*Thanos: I did. To resurrect someone.
*Cable: That's nice--
*Thanos: ...and then kill him again.﻿
----
*Deadpool: Hey... wanna get beer?
*Cable: Sure
*Superman: Arent you guys villians?
----
*Deadpool goes into the past, appears at the end of Iron Man 1 in place of Nick Fury, and tells him to fund this upstart café.
*Deadpool: "Trust me. It'll become something great."
*Stark: "Ooookay, just one thing."
*Deadpool: "What?"
*Stark: "How did you get into my house?"
*Deadpool: "Like everyone else. Easily. "﻿
----
*Deadpool : What is your power?
*Thanos : This. (Snaps Fingers)
*Deadpool : I don't feel so good ... (Starts to disappear, but when he notices Deadpool flips off thanos)﻿
----
*Justice League: Were the Justice league and we're here to serve some justice
*(Deadpool and the X-force show up and kills everybody)
*Deadpool: And We're here to serve some justice to your movie﻿
----
*Thor throws storm breaker at cable and says i told you you'd... Oh sorry"
*Then cable says "WRONG MOVIE"﻿
----
*Domino “who is that!”
*Juggernaut “I’m the juggernaut bi...”
*Captain America “LANGUAGE!!!!”
*captain America looks at camera 3 second go by “Patience”﻿)
----
*Ryan Reynolds trying at for Deadpool in X men Origins*
Casting Director: You’re hired
Ryan: Awesome!!
Deadpool: *appears with Cable’s time machine* WAIT!!
Ryan: huh? What the?
Deadpool: be serious.... you don’t want this part do ya? What if they decide to do a terrible job at making Deadpool in this movie? They might sew your mouth shut! For the sake of bad makeup
Ryan: is he serious?
Casting Director: *nervous* hehe no that’s uh... hehe... w-why would we do that?
Deadpool: you gave me ripoff wolverine hand blades, AND LASER EYES!
Casting Director: uh... well we didn’t write that in the script
Ryan: yeah it says right here *holds the script* there’s even a picture of it
Casting Director: I swear I didn’t write tha-
Deadpool: *shoots the Casting Director* Yes!! ...Deadpool!﻿
----
*at the end of the movie
*deadpool:hey I should make my own hishe!
*hishe crew:what? you can't do that
*deadpool:watch this..
&burn the script of bvs and justice league movie make a contract with marvel studios to join the avengers cancel venom movie and make him the villain for the second spiderman movie﻿
----
*Deadpool: So that's how I saved my almost pregnant wife from certain death!
*Batman: I just let my parents die...
*Vanessa, Deadpool and superman all at the same time: WHY?
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN
*everyone sighs*
*Batman to Vanessa: Hey, I'm batman wanna know my.. secret identity?﻿
----
*Thanos: I have problems with heroes trying to just take off my infinity glove... it's so annoying...
*Deadpool:heh... because of me marvel have problems with DC... it's even worse than your idea with killing half of universe... heh... yeaa...
*Batman: not only you make trouble for your creators... I do it in lego version... guess what is my password to batcave hehe...
*Thanos: what! Who you are and how you get behind us?!
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!!!﻿
----
*Spidey: You have a metal arm thats so awesome dude
*Cable: I also have a metal glove....
*Spidey: What do you...mean
*(Spidey sees Thanos)
*Spidey: I Don't Feel So Good......﻿
----
*Deadpool1:who is next?
*Deadpool2:o hi,sweetie!
*Deadpool1:wow!How it is can even be possible?!
*Deadpool2:you know,lazy writers
----
*Deadpool: “All right, guys. Is everybody ready to jump into this potentially catastrophic wind storm? Cool, let’s go!”
*Spider-Man scientist guy: “Here’s a bright idea. Why don’t you make sure the weather is favorable and everybody can parachute well before you send your entire team down on a jump with almost infinite possible ways to die a horrible death?”
*Deadpool: “Here’s a bright idea. Why don’t you go back to your own How It Should Have Ended videos instead of getting yourself involved with REAL superhero action sequences?”
*scientist guy leaves
*everybody jumps and dies
*Deadpool: “Oh. Uh...” sneaks away﻿
----
*Deadpool: So I went back in time, saved my girlfriend, and cleaned up the timeline.
*Superman: ...I think you've gone too far this time.
*Deadpool: Didn't you do the same thing, Mr-Fly-Around-The-World Super Fast?
*Superman: ...Uh....
*Batman: I'd save everybody without screwing up the timeline.
*Deadpool: How?
*Batman: Because I'm Batman.
*Deadpool: Tell that to Rachel. (Gets up) I'm going somewhere where my abilities will be more appreciated. See you!
*(Cut to the Time Travelers Restaurant from the Looper HISHE. At the table are Doc Brown, Doctors 10-12, and Doctor Strange)
*Twelfth Doctor: And then I punched through a diamond wall for four billion years!
*Doctor Strange: Pshh. That's nothing. I must have died a billion times bargaining with Dormammu!
*Deadpool: Hello, fellow time travelers!
*Everyone: UGH!
*Deadpool: What? I didn't do anything any of you wouldn't have done!
*Eleventh Doc: ...You tampered with fixed points in time!
*Dead pool: Ah, so it's only Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey when convenient.
*Doc Brown: Well, I think the human executions took things a bit too far.
*Terminator: (enters) I'm back!﻿
----
*Deadpool:are you sure you're not from the DC universe
*Cable:no he is
*Batman:because I'm batman!﻿
----
*When Cable and DP was fighting in the prison. Cable ask's who are you?
*DP : I'M BATMAN
*Cable : Yea And I'M THANOS
*DP : Say Whaaaaaaaaaat........﻿
----
*GF dies
*Dp: Ok, Who directed this movie?
*Bad guy that shot GF: He is over there.
*Walks off camera and you hear a gun shot.
*Dp: Ok I’m making changes
*brings gf back kills all the bad guys﻿
----
*Deadpool starts to travel through time.
*about to kill ryan renolds w/ green lantern script
*enter doc Brown and Marty mcFly
*Marty: Hey, what are you doing! your gonna create a time parado-
*Deadpool: eh, who cares
*Ryan renolds: wait, what's going on
*[Deadpool shoots ryan renolds]
*[Deadpool begins to fade away]
*Deadpool: Marty, I don't feel so good [disappears]﻿
----
*(after learning Russell was being abused)
*Deadpool: Four or five moments! That’s all it takes to-hold on. (ducks back down, says in a quiet voice to Russell) Hey kid, I may only get one clear shot here. Which one of these guys is the worst? If I was able to take out just one, which one should it be?
*Russell: ……Um, the headmaster is the balding one with glasses.
*Deadpool: Cool, I’ll aim for him. (stands back up) Four or five moments! (continues speech)﻿
----
*In the Super Café, there is a lineup of superheroes.
*Deadpool: Who are you?
*Batman: I'm Batman!!
*Deadpool: What's your superpower?
*Batman: I'm rich!!
*Deadpool: Okay... why are you rich?
*Batman: Because I'm Batman!!!
*Deadpool: Hm... I don't see your logic. Next!!
*Batman groans and walks off screen.
*Deadpool: Who are you?
*Groot: I am Groot.
*Deadpool: What's YOUR superpower?
*Groot: I am Groot.
*Deadpool: I see... and how will you help me?
*Groot: I am Groot.
*Deadpool: … you're in!!!
*Batman pokes his head back on screen.
*Batman: Oh come on!!!!!!﻿
----
*Deadpool: "Hey Storm, it's time to cash in on that favor you owe me."
*Storm: "What're you talking about? I don't remember owing you anything."
*Deadpool: "Of course you don't. That timeline doesn't exist anymore!"
*Storm: raises eyebrow
Deadpool: "Uuuuuuhhhhh, you were really drunk. Xavier's birthday party?"
*Storm: "...What do you need?"
*cut to a scene where X-Force landing safely and everyone celebrating
*Bedlam: "Glad that went off without a hitch."
*Shatterstar: "Of course it did. It's because I'm here! Me! Shatterstar!"
*Deadpool cocks gun
*Deadpool: "This was a mistake. Peter, run."
*Peter: "W-what?"
*Deadpool: "I said run, my sugar bear! RUN!"﻿
----
Russel: SAY IT!!!!
Headmaster: YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION!!!
Tim Roth: No, I am The Abomination!!!
Deadpool: Look, somebody remembers The Incredible Hulk.﻿
----
*Dp: Any powers you want us to know about?
*Batman: I.. I don't have one, I just saw the ad
*Dp: Then why should we let you join?
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN
*Dp: You're in!﻿
----
*(Juggernaut appears)
*Domino: WHAT IS THAT??!!
*Deadpool: Don't you know who is he? HE'S THE JUGGERNAUT *BLEEP*!!! Sorry, but i'm very excited to see that the production didn't screwed him
*Previous Juggernaut: Hey, don't be rude﻿
----
*Deadpool: Hey Thanos now we know that Russell is also a victim go in the future and tell yourself to save him and all the other kids from that old principal.
*Cable:For the last time Wade I'm Cable and why didn't I think of that.
*Deadpool:Because you aren't a fan of me and my movie. Thank the fans for pointing it out.
*Cable: What the? How long were they there?
*Juggarnut (runs into Deadpool and Cable)﻿
----
*Colossus: Stop or there will be trouble
*Fire fist: You stole that from Robocop
*Deadpool: That’s Robocop
*(Robocop appears behind Colossus )
*Robocop: How dare you
*(Robocop throughs Colossus and walks away)
*Robocop: I’ll be back
*Deadpool and Fire fist: YOU STOLE THAT FROM THE TERMINATOR﻿
----
*Deadpool talking to Firefist, looks at the two men who abused him.
*Deadpool: Was it both of them?
*Firefist nods
*Deadpool: Colossus!!! Get the handcuffs, and not the fun kind!
*A few moments later, the two men and the rest of the abusers are being arrested.
Deadpool: Wow Colossus, I can see why you like doing things the right way. That was ridiculously easy.
*Firefist: Yeah. Thanks for showing me justice can be served the right way. Imagine I lost my temper and went on a crazy killing spree or something instead (he laughs)
*Everyone else laughs as well.
*Deadpool: That's crazy. Who would go on a killing spree because of someone who abused and tortured you.
*Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead stare at him.
*Negasonic: What about Francis Douchepool?
*Deadpool: What!!! Francis!!! Don't be ridiculous...I killed way more people before I got to him (he laughs)
*Colossus, Negasonic and Firefist stare at him.
*Deadpool: Oh sorry. Yay clean justice (nervous laugh)﻿
----
*Idea 1*Cable takes Deadpool to go take out Thanos.* Deadpool kills Thanos *Deadpool:Well,That's one less Brolin.
*Idea 2 Juggernaut:Im gonna rip you in half now
*Deadpool:Before you do...*wakandan accent* Get this man a red outfit!
*Idea 3 Peter:My name is Peter.
*Deadpool:I had a Peter once
*Deadpool has a flashback of him and Spider-Man skipping through the Avengers HQ
*Iron-Man:Wade,you know the rules.
*Deadpool:I know! No X-Men.
*Negasonic:Trainee!
*Deadpool:Stop rubbing it in and go back with Pinkie Pie!
*Idea 4 Deadpool:What's your power?
*Groot:I am Groot!
*Deadpool:You're in!
*Idea 5 Cable and Deadpool see Avengers Infinity War
*Deadpool:That Thanos guy looks like you but dipped in grape juice,bald,and wears a metal cleaning glove.
*Cable:That Purple Mr Clean doesn’t look like me.﻿
----
Cable holds his time travel device in hand amidst the devastation of his home. He gazes at the scorched remains of his dead daughter's teddy bear, then raises a gun, "Now Rusty Collins...Firefist...its your turn to die."
Suddenly the team of future X-Men arrive! Cable is paralyzed by mind powers as one of the mutants picks the time machine out of his hands with a yoink. "What are you doing?!" he demands.
Prof. X or Bishop appears onscreen, "Here's a bright idea. Instead of going back in time to commit child murder on a confused boy, why don't you arrive a little earlier and bring public attention to the abusive school he was in? That way you can save hundreds of children from weak fundamentalist caricatures instead of causing untold death and destruction. We'll take care of this."
Cable protests as he's lead offscreen, "You don't understand! I had a daughter! That makes it okay for me to kill people..!"﻿
----
*(Deadpool look at thanos)
*Deadpool:oh hey cable
*(Cable takes thanos costume off)
*Cable:how did you know it was me
*Deadpool:easy. WAIT!!! IS THAT A METAL ARM. trying to copy winter soilder?
*Cable:NO
*(Bucky with an arm missing walks up to cable.)
*Bucky:give me my arm back﻿
----
*(Cable teleports into the hall)
*Deadpool: Who are you
*Cable:I’m here to kill the kid
*Deadpool: Why
*Cable: Cuz he’s gonna kill mine in the future!
*Deadpool: couldn’t you just ask him not to?
*Cable: OH YEAH! That changes EVERYTHING﻿
----
*Deadpool : I'm Batman!
*(Batman comes in)
*Batman : Whaaaaat?﻿
----
*Juggernaut: I'm the juggernaut, bi--
*Captain America: LANGUAGE!!! (throws his new shield at him which doesn't hurt him)﻿
----
During the plane scene afther Deadpool Ensures that they will not stop the action becouse of turbulance. Our well know scientist shows up and
Scientist: Heres a bright idea, why wont you ask the pilot is ot safe to jump out of a plane during turbulance becouse the wheater isint good for a parachute jump and all of the memebers would die in most horifing way as possible during this action.
Deadpool: Uh Fine... Hey it is unsafe we have to wait until it safe
Later. They show up when Cable just killed Fire fist.
Deadpool: Dang it Cable! Now i have to find a Timestone.... (offscreen) This does not put a smile on my face
Thanos pops ou
Thanos: HEY! Thats my time! There can only be one!﻿
----
*to relax.
*Vanessa: "Whew... that was close-"
*Wade: "Yeah, hang on one second."
*Deadpool takes a moment to go out the door. As Vanessa waits, we hear a series of gunshots, punches, breaking bones and screaming. Probably a "who's your daddy?" quip from Wade - it's not pretty.
*When Deadpool enters the room again, he's covered in blood.
*Vanessa: "Oh, was there another guy out there waiting to make a surprise attack?"
*Wade: "Yeah! And, you know, I figured, instead of risking my love interest and the entire point of the first movie get needlessly killed while I just stand around pointing out sloppy writing errors, I could just... save you and not do those sloppy writing errors!"
*Vanessa: "Oh. Good thinking! Wanna make 500 babies as I serve as a helpful supportive role throughout the rest of the movie?"
*Wade: "Everything you just said in that sentence made me pee a little."﻿
----
DP: wait. There something I'm forgetting!
Next we see DP trying to wake Juggernaut up.
Cable:what the heck do you think your doing?
DP: I'll tell you winter Thanos soilder. I'm waking the Juggernaut up.
Domino: that seems like a incredibly bad idea.
Cable: I'm still trying to wrap my head around who thanos is.
DP: WAKE UP! Slaps Juggernaut wake while breaking his own hand in the process BLEEEEEEEEEP
Juggernaut: WAAAAAH! why you wake me up.
Deadpool: cause you didn't say it once in this film.
Juggernaut: say what.
Deadpool: you Know.
Juggernaut: yeah I know.
Deadpool and Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUT BIT-Juggernaut gets knocked out by caps sheild
Steve Rodgers walks up.
Steve: language.
Deadpool: I was gonna say female dog I swear!﻿
----
*Deadpool : Oh no ! She's dead... But I know what to do.
*Weasel : Adopting ?
*Deadpool : What ? No !
*Weasel : You know, getting the kid you both wanted so much.
*Deadpool : We already have enough baby legs in this movie ! No, what I'm talking about is...
*At the super café
*Deadpool : Sup' Supes !
*Superman : Oh no...
*Deadpool : Hey big guy, funny meeting you here. I'd need a tinsy-tiny favor.
*Superman : I am NOT going back in time to save your girlfriend.
*Deadpool : Why not ?! You did it for Spider Garfield and he's a Marvel too !
*Batman : I told you : You shouldn't have done that.
*Superman : Again : How in the world do you know ?
*Batman : BECAUSE I'M-
*Deadpool : WE KNOW ! Gosh, we won't forget you're Batman. Even if they kill you in the next Justice League.
*Batman : Wait, what ?
*Deadpool: ANYwho, how about this : You bring my Vanessa back and I won't bother you again.
*Superman: ...Seriously ?
*Deadpool : I promise.
*Superman : Even if she dies again ?
*Deadpool : Yea yea, I'll have my own time-travel device by then.
*Superman : Oooohh that can't be good.
*Deadpool : You don't get to see me agaaaiiinn...
*Superman : ...All right fine.
*Deadpool : Woohoo !﻿
----
Cable: my name is Cable, i'am coming for the kid.
Deadpool: what? The kid!?
Firefist: you can not kidnap me!
Deadpool: Why is your sound like Batman?
Firefist take the mask of his face and say ' because i'am Batman!﻿
----
*Deadpool: tell us,what you can do?
*Daredevil: I have martial arts and I'm also blind.
*Deadpool: your voice sounds familiar
*Daredevil: that must be another guy.
*Deadpool: why should I hire you?
*Daredevil: because I'm batm... I mean because I'm daredevil
----
*﻿Deadpool: You seem pretty dark...you sure you aren't from the DC universe?
*Superman: Actually, I AM from the DC universe!﻿
----
*DeadPool uses the time travel device to go to just as Thanos snaps in Infinity War.
*Captain America seeing DeadPool: "You're too late, Wade.... we already lost."
*DeadPool: "Oh, I'm just here to set the mood with some music."
*holds up a boombox that is blasting Kansas- Dust in the wind
*Iron Man shaking his head gravely as spidey disappears: "NOT COOL."
*DeadPool: "Too soon?"﻿
----
*(Deadpool travels in time)
*Deadpool: Vanessa I have come to save you.
*Vanessa: Wade What the heck how.
*Deadpool: Wait.
*(Shoots guy)
*Deadpool: Okay now that I have saved you I'll be right back.
*(Travels back to talk to Rian Johnson)
*Deadpool: Hey Deadpool here do not let Luke Skywalker die. Because everyone will hate your movie. Okay bye.
*(Travels back to that flash scene in Batman v Superman. Then kills flash)
*Deadpool: Ok Bruce YOU DIDN'T SEE Anything. Got it. Okay good bye love you.﻿
----
*Domino stops Cable from saving Deadpool as Deadpool's last wish was to die.
*Cable returns home, Wade is there eating dinner with Hope and Cable's wife. Cable asks how he got there, and Deadpool says, "yeah funny thing is," [flash back to Deadpool bursting out of his grave, then cut back to Cables home] "the batteries on those collars only lasts for about a year."﻿
----
*Deadpool uses the time machine to jump ahead to the HISHE writers meeting
*Writer: "We finally have a finished script for the Deadpool 2 video. This is going to be gr-"
*Deadpool (stealing script): "Yoink!"
*Deadpool travels back in time to when the Deadpool 2 writers were writing the film
*The whiteboard says: 'Mid-credits scene ideas'
*Ryan Reynolds picks up a piece of paper with ideas on it
*Deadpool pops in and switches the ideas page with the HISHE script﻿
----
Deadpool says “so what’s your power?” 
Batman “ I’m rich” 
Deadpool “ well that’s just lazy writing”
Or
Deadpool says “ so what’s your power?”
Batman “ IM BATMAN” 
Deadpool has a flash back to green lantern
Deadpool “ fine as long as you don’t make me apart of the justice league “﻿
----
*Deadpool builds a anti hero diner because the other two hangouts rejected him
*Deadpool: welcome to my anti hero diner
*Suicide squad,punisher, red hood, watchmen and spawn: Yeah!
*Deadpool: where waiting for you venom!
----
*Cable: "This thing only has enough juice for one more trip back home, so--"
*Deadpool: "Waitwaitwait - you've got enough juice for just one trip back to the land that invented time machines, and you can go to any time you want?"
*Cable: "Yeah."
*Deadpool: "Oh, DOMINO!!!!"
(one trip to the cafe later...)
*Domino: "So we leapt forward to just before Nate's family got killed, saved them without actually hurting anybody, threw Russell in jail, stole another time device, and got me back here! Neat, huh?"
*Clark: :"Uh-huh...and how did you do all that?"
*Domino: "Oh, it's because I'm--"
*Bruceman: "YOU'RE NOT BATMAN, I AM!!!"
*Domino: "....just that lucky?"﻿
----
*Deadpool: "Wow. They think this movie was better than mine? They all died. What lazy writing."
Domino, Cable, and rest of X Force fades away into dust
Deadpool: "Well, I guess I have to take out Barney now. Get ready for the box offices to blow up, Disney."
uses the time travel device to go back to the beginning of time when the infinity stone were made
Random Celestial: "Finally, they are all made. Now to scatter them all across the universe so no one can ever find them al..."
Deadpool: cuts the Celestial off "I'll be taking those. You are all beautiful creatures. I love yooooouuuu..."
places the stone sin the gauntlet and goes to the cafe to show off to Batman and Superman
Deadpool: "So I saved the day like usual, and now I'm basically a god. Do you want to know why?"
Batman: "I really don't."
Deadpool: "Because I'm Batman!"
Batman: "Ugh."
Deadpool: "Hey, it's not my fault DC doesn't have the budget to actually make your character appealing."
Superman: "I'm starting to like this guy."
Thanos and his friends show up without the gauntlet
Thanos: "You will all bow before me!"
Deadpool snaps his fingers and Thanos and his friends disappear into dust
Batman: "Show off..."
Deadpool: "I'm Batman!"
----
(Deadpool’s death has been averted by cable)
Deadpool:thank you thanos, I know it must be hard since you can’t see your family again and...
Cable: wait who’s thanos
Deadpool: yea thanos big purple dude, loves his chair and is currently collect stones to put on a glove.
Cable:stones?
Deadpool: yeah... I think they are space, reality,power, mind, soul and .... what was the last one... oh yeah time, omg awesome realisation come with me guys.
(Cable,colossus, negasonic teenage warhead, yukio, domino, that fire kid follow deadpool, cut to the scene when Thor attacks thanos)
Thanos: you should’ve aimed for my head.
(Snaps his fingers only to find he’s not wearing the gauntlet)
Deadpool:yoink!
Cable: now what?
Deadpool: now we do this.
(Raises his hand with gauntlet on)
Deadpool: montage time.
(A bright flash on the screen appears then cut to various clips such as deadpool stopping uncle bens death, reviving wolverine with money showering over them, saving his girlfriend and shooting that scientist guy while he’s saying a “maybe you should” line).﻿
----
*DP : please tell me they got that in slow motion.
*Zooms out so you can see the cameraman
*Cameraman : "uh...yeah...sure. slowest of motions Wade..." Backs away slowly﻿
----
*Deadpool: ...And then we all LIVED happily ever after. Which is great because I don't know what would have happened if my girlfriend actually stayed dead, like... forever.
*Superman: Well for one, it would've had a real, lasting impact on your character.
*Deadpool: Aww what, are you salty because even MY team-up movie made more money than yours? Or is it because I stole Bruce's line?
*Batman(mumbling): You didn't steal my line. It's BECAUSE I'm Batman.. so that didn't count.
*Superman: I'm just saying you can't just erase the only thing that got you into your adventure. Bruce wouldn't prevent his parents from dying, because then there would be no Batman!
*Deadpool: Oh what, because YOU never did that, Mr. Physics?
*Batman: You guys seriously need to stop calling me Bruce.. But also, burn!
*Superman: Just... Please stop messing up the timeline.
*CW Flash(appearing): Yeah, man. It can get... weird.
*Deadpool: Aw c'mon I'm having fun! I already killed Ryan Reynolds before he became famous!
*Superman: Wait you killed who?
*Deadpool: Exactly.﻿
----
*Deadpool: who are you?
*Juggernaut: don't you know who i am? I'm the juggernaut bit...
*Captain America: Language!
----
*Dead pool uses cables time traveling device to go back to Titan in Infinity war
*Starlord: WHY DID U DO IT!!!
*Thanos: I... had to...
(Starlord: No you didn’t. Haaiiii yyyyaa..
*Deadpool karate chops starlords neck
Deadpool: aaaaand no more LEGO movie 2, now Thanos, I’ll take that gauntlet for you
*slices his hand off and then shoots him
Deadpool: thanks a lot guys, ba bye now
*goes back to present time, erases cable from existence
----
*Cable: Who are you
*Deadpool: I'm Batman
*Cable: Oh sure, and I'm Thanos.
*Deathstroke appears
*Deathstroke: We meet again, Bruce.
*Deadpool pulls face to reveal it to be Batman.
*Batman: Slade.
*Cable: What is going on.
*Megan Fox: Hey, Jonah. Want to ride.
*Cable: Why did you say that name.
*Batman: I feel you bro.﻿
----
Deadpool kills Ryan and said
Deadpool: Your welcome Canada
He walks away few steps but realised
Deadpool: Wait. Green Lantern was before my two movies. So if I killed Ryan Reynolds in 2011 then that means. Oh God I don't feel well
Deadpool sees himself turn to ashes like the Infinity War
Deadpool: Oh what the F$@&#%¢! I should have just warned him like I warned Peter
and Deadpool dies by turning himself into ashes which means he accidentally made his Deadpool movies not happening﻿
----
*T-800: I'm a cybernetic organism, i was sent from the future to protect you
*Russel: what the heck?
*T-800: Sorry, wrong Franchise, hasta la vista!﻿
----
*Deadpool: Wait, don't you play Thanos?
*Cable: Whaaat? Noooo!
*Paint begins to chip off skin, showing pink skin under.
*Deadpool: So you DO play Thanos!
*Cable: OH COME ON!﻿
----
*deadpool talks about his kid with vanessa
*vanessa gets killed
anakin walks in,
“guys i just heard the news, you are going to be a fathe... oh shoot sorry, bad timing”﻿
----
*Joker:Wanna know how I got these scars?
*Deadpool:No, Do you wanna know how i got my name DEADPOOL?
*Joker:No.
*Deadpool:Glad you asked, I killed a man dead in a pool,
*Joker:Thats it??
*Deadpool:Yes, if you said yes earlier the story would have been a lot better.﻿
----
*Darth Vader comes to either Deadpool:
*Vader: You're having a child? This is wonderful! I have a son and a daughter too!
*Deadpool: Get out! That joke is getting old now!
*Vader comes to Cable:
*Vader: You have a daughter? I have a daughter too!﻿
----
*Thanos starts to throw Gamora off the the pit as she falls. She comes with Deadpool
*Deadpool: Hey! Just fixing the timeline!
*Thanos:How did you?
*Deadpool: Well the writter was lazy of coming up for a reason how I entered this universe
*Thanos: Ok...
*Deadpool: Well see ya! And don't throw her again,your just being a parent
*Deadpool hands Thanos a bucklet of Father to Daughter Counciling
*Deadpool: BYE!﻿
----
*Deadpool : You know what
*(Busts down the door)
*Deadpool : You're all coming with me
*Wolverine : Slow down there buddy
*Deadpool : Oh shut up you're going to die soon anyways,oh you also have a daughter
*Wolverine : I have a daughter!Oh my god I have a daughter.Proffesor X I have a daughter.Quicksilver I have a daughter.﻿
----
*In the Cafe - Superman, Batman and Deadpool sits in the cafe with Cable and Domino
*Superman: So you pretty much saved the day...
*Deadpool: Yes.
*Superman: You lost your loved one and the only way you did it was to travel back in time. (coughs) sounds familiar...again.
*Deadpool: (look at screen) Seriously? We're going with that joke? Sounds like poor fan service writing.﻿
----
Shooter tries to shoot Wade's girlfriend. Wade tries to throw a knife at him and actually succeeds the first time.
Wade: phew thank god. That could have gone bad.
Wade looks at his girlfriend
Wade: you could have died
Girlfriend releaved at Wade
Wade: I mean, if you died I probably be all dramatic and find a selution to kill myself to be with you and that seems really difficult and annoying
Another assisin comes in and shoots Wade's girlfriend.
Wade: AAH COME ON﻿
----
*Cable: I've come from the future and I need your help.
*Logan: Hey dude, make a line.
*Deadpool: Hey, why are you guys here? What happened to the xmen that were supposed to be from this time line?
*Cable: They are dead, didn't you watched Logan's movie?
*Deadpool: Oh, so you guys came here to replace the ones who died? Or did this movie is happening before they died?
*Awkward silence...﻿
----
*Cable: Who are you?
*DP: I'M Batman!
*Batman: No you're not!
*(Batman gives DP a lawsuit.) You had just been sued Deadpool. BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!
*Cable: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?????﻿
----
When Cable shoots bullets at Deadpool make it go all over his body and make him say "should have gone for the head Thanos."
Cable says "if you insist Red Velvet Cake [Or something different as in the name]"
Deadpool falls over and says "I don't feel so good".
Maybe also do other Marvel characters auditioning to be in the X-Force.
EDIT: New idea! At the start of Deadpool 2 there is a mini stature of Logan dead so maybe for the HISHE make it so it's Spider-Man turning to dust!﻿
----
*When Deadpool takes a bullet for firefist have him say to cable as he’s dying. Mr. Cable, I don’t feel so good.” Then he bursts out laughing and says “bye cable buddy! Also use that time infinity stone to bring me back.” Cable says “it’s a time machine.” “Ok thanos, I’ll see you in the sequel!”
*Cable lets out and sigh and face palms as Deadpool fades away in to dust. “What the?!” Cable says.
----
*Deadpool: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
----
X-Force in the new Cafe with Supes and Bats
Superman: So, that little time travel device sure seems convenient, Cable.
Batman: Almost as if it was just for Wade to make another little meta throwaway joke.
Cable: Maybe, but think of the possibilities. Wouldn’t you want to save Thomas and Martha Wayne…Bruce?
Batman: WHATHE-HOW!?
Ahem…
First of all, I’m not Bruce Wayne, I’M BATMAN!
Second, even if I was Bruce Wayne I couldn’t just save Thomas and Martha.
Cable: And why not? Because you’re Batma-
Batman: BECAUSE IT’S KEY TO MY ORIGIN! Ergo, yes… because I’m Batman.
Deadpool: I’m shocked he didn’t have a mental breakdown after The Goonies Anniversary Edition over here said Martha.
Superman: He got over it a while ago.﻿
----
*Deadpool: Is dupstep still a thing in the time you come from?
*Cable throws deadpool
*Cable: Pff, dupstep's for...
*Captain America jumps cable
*Capt. America: Language! Wait do i know you from somewhere?
*Cable rips off his face and becomes Thanos
*Thanos: What do think of my new reality?
*Deadpool and Capt. America: Whaaa?﻿
----
*Deadpool: Let's do this Juggernaut! !!
*Juggernaut: Wait, aren't we the same actor? LIKE I'M NOT EVEN MAKING MY VOICE DEEPER SOOOO....
*Deadpool: ONLY I BREAK THE FORTH WALL YOU SON OF A-
*Captain America: LANGUAGE!!!!!﻿
----
*Cable: Who are you?
*Deadpool: I'm Batman.
*Batman: He is not Batman !!!
*(Batman appears and stops Cable and all the mutants)
*Deadpool: Thanks batsy, but I had it under my contr...
*(Batman punches Deadpool and he leaves him lying on the floor)
*Deadpool: You're so dark. Are you sure you're not from Dawn of Justice (BatmanvSuperman)?
*Batman: It's just I don't like the idea that someone stealing my name. Do you know why?
*Deadpool: Because you..
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN !!!!﻿
----
*Cable: We need to kill Russel
*Deadpool: No, i have a better idea (Does a Phone call)
----
later------
*(Russel it's about to kill the director)
*Russel: Now who's the Bit...(It's attacked by a shield)
*Capt.América: LANGUAJE
*Deadpool: Thanks dude, now get the f*c..
*Cap: LANGUAJE﻿
----
*Cable: What do you mean
*Dp: Well Thanos, it feels like a bunch of sweaty nerd who praise some Internet animator wrote it.
*Bat man: What are you talking about, it was awesome.
*Superman: You learned how to be kinder
*Colossus: year u learned how to be a real hero
*Domino: yeah we were lucky
*Russel: and don’t forget going back in time to kill green lantern.
*Dp: oh yeah the movie was awesome, I was talking about HISHE. Hey, this joke was used.
*Universe implodes*(except for Batman)﻿
----
*Colossus: So after you blew yourself to bits, I was able to recover... most of you"
*Deadpool: "Most of me...? Which part couldn't you find? Oh noo..."
*Feels his face
*Deadpool: "Phewww.
*Feels his junk
*Deadpool (whispers in close-up): "...What have I done..."﻿
----
*Thanos appears: Snaps fingers
*Deadpool: What the F-
*Captain America: LANGUAGE
*Deadpool: Stop
*Deadpool: Kills Thanos and takes the gaunlet and Snaps fingers
*At the Super Cafe after How Infinity War should have ended:
*Superman: Uh guys, what's happening
(Spidey: We're disappearing
*Batman: I don't disintegrate yiu know why
*Everyone: Because your
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M oh shoot as he disappears﻿
----
*Deadpool and the X-Force (Well, the rest of 'em) are up against Firefist.
*Firefist: "Stay back! Go home Wade!"
*Deadpool: "Wait, wait, wait, wait! You're just a ki...
*POP
*Firefist falls down shot. (Blind Al shot him.)
*Al: Had enough of that teen already.
*X-Force: "WHAAAAAAATTTT?!"﻿
----
*Quicksilver: You didn't see that coming - oh wait you aren't Hawkeye, wrong cinematic universe woopsie bye.
----
Batman : And I’m putting together a team of people with special abilities.
Deadpool : No, I’m putting together a team of people with special abilities.
Batman : I was doing it first.
Deadpool : I think you tried putting together a team and it didn’t work out.
Me : Wow, was Justice League REALLY THAT BAD? Can someone PLEASE explain to me why almost everyone dislikes the Justice League movie!?
----
*Deadpool: You see what I did there? I needed more resources, so I just some more!
----
*Deadpool : What's your power?
*Groot : I am Groot,
*Deadpool : Uh huh?
*Groot : I am Groot.
*Deadpool : Uh huh...
*Groot : I am Groot.
*Deadpool : You're in!﻿
----
*Deadpool: any powers you wanna tell us about?
*Peter: no. I just saw your ad
*Deadpool: so sorry, but you need a power. see yourself out.
Later...
*Peter: (sitting at home relaxing) I wonder where I would be if DP had let me join. (shows the parachute scene and all of x-force dying horrible deaths) I'm probably better of here.﻿
----
*[X-force dies]
*Deadpool: this is so sad alexa play despacito﻿
----
*Deadpool: JUSTIN BIEBER, Oh my god I love you
*Justin Bieber: really
*Deadpool: yeah, baby baby baby oooooooh
*Fire fist burns Justin Bieber
*Deadpool: oh sh...
*Captain America: Language﻿
----
*Scientist 1: So is that all the super beings secured?
*Scientist 2: Yeah, thats probably everyone kept in custody.
*Scientist 1: You sure, all the prisons are kept locked up?
*Scientist 2: Yeah.
*Scientist 3: Here's a bright idea:
*Scientist 1: Oh no.
*Scientist 3: Why don't you make SURE every single prison is locked up so that we wouldn't have to risk a potential super boy learning to use his powers that could cause an uprising...
*Deadpool: (listening) Okay we get it!
*Scientist 3: AND, make sure the prison's secuirty is working properly so that someone from outside with a mega weapon doesn't come in to accidentally cause all the prisoners to escape, just because you were too lazy to safely run this super enhanced prison.
*Scientist 2: Ugh! Fine! (locks the door to Juggernaut's prison) And now for outside.
*The scientists build an electric fence around the prisons which causes Cable to get shocked
*Scientist 2: Oh look! There is an intruding super being trying to break in.
*CUT TO: Cable being arrested.
*Cable: You don't understand!
*Deadpool: WE GET IT! You have a daughter who is actually dead so you think that this makes it okay. Just get him out of here.
*Russel: (bored) This used to be fun.﻿
----
*Domino: What happened to the rest of the team
*Deadpool: well
*Shows Thanos snapping his fingers and erasing all the teams﻿
----
*Deadpool goes into the past, appears at the end of Iron Man 1 in place of Nick Fury, and tells him to fund this upstart café.
*Deadpool: "Trust me. It'll become something great."
*Stark: "Ooookay, just one thing."
*Deadpool: "What?"
*Stark: "How did you get into my house?"
*Deadpool: "Like everyone else. Easily. "﻿
----
*Cable: Who are you?
*Deadpool: I'm Batman!
*(Deadpool turns into Batman and beats Cable.)﻿
----
*The Avengers defeat Thanos then Deadpool and Domino lose Cable and charges at the Avengers and Deadpool asks “Where is Cable?” Star Lord says “I’ll do you one better Who is Cable?” Domino says “ I’ll do you one better Why is Cable?”﻿
----
*deadpool: okay, why do you think you should be part of the team?
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!!
*and then deadpool insults him and so poor bats storms off in a huff. on his way out the door he tries to hit on domino.
*batman: wanna know my secret identity?
*domino: Bruce Wayne?
*batman: How could you possibly know that?! I'M NOT EVEN FRON THIS FRANCHISE!!
*domino: shrugs lucky guess
----
*﻿Cable: Who Are You?
*Deadpool: I’m Batman!
*Cable: I’m Thanos nice to meet you
*Cable Pulls Out Infinity Gauntlet And Clicks Fingers*
*Deadpool: Oh No I Don’t feel so goo......*Disintegrates*
*Cable: Hehehe Shoulda went for the Head.....or Arm!﻿
----
*Deadpool:Hey guys I'm still alive.
*"Everyone leaves burning house"
*Wolverine:were is everyone
*Hawkeye:See how it fellsfeels﻿
----
*Cable, Warhead, Domino, and Colossus are all sitting in the cafe with Superman and Batman. Cable is just talking about how easy it was to just go back in time and save Deadpool. Batman says something that leads him to say, "I'm batman." Then Superman says, "That's great and all but, where is this Deadpool guy anyway." Cuts scene to Deadpool walking into the villains pub saying, "Back from the dead Aholesss wait... where did everybody go?" "Wait, did I miss something...... ohhh", proceeds to look down at the blinking beacon that has been summoning him from Darth Sidious. "So that's what that was."﻿
----
*Cable: I failed to save my baby girl.
*Thanos: I had to throw mine off a mountain.﻿
----
*M. Night Shyamalan- your gonna be a star (holding a script of the last Airbender then Deadpool shoots the director)
*Deadpool- you're welcome Japan.﻿
----
*Deadpool: so domino you have the power of writers convenience . domino: what. Deadpool: they know what I’m talking about﻿
----
*Deadpool: “All right, guys. Is everybody ready to jump into this potentially catastrophic wind storm? Cool, let’s go!”
*Spider-Man scientist guy: “Here’s a bright idea. Why don’t you make sure the weather is favorable and everybody can parachute well before you send your entire team down on a jump with almost infinite possible ways to die a horrible death?”
*Deadpool: “Here’s a bright idea. Why don’t you go back to your own How It Should Have Ended videos instead of getting yourself involved with REAL superhero action sequences?”
scientist guy leaves
*everybody jumps and dies
*Deadpool: “Oh. Uh...” sneaks away﻿
----
*Deadpool starts to travel through time.
*about to kill ryan renolds w/ green lantern script
*enter doc Brown and Marty mcFly
*Marty: Hey, what are you doing! your gonna create a time parado-
*Deadpool: eh, who cares
*Ryan renolds: wait, what's going on
*[ Deadpool shoots ryan renolds]
*[Deadpool begins to fade away]
*Deadpool: Marty, I don't feel so good
*[disappears]﻿
----
*Russell: stay back or Justin bieber dies (negga sonic teenage warhead turns out to be Justin bieber then sings a parody of a Justin bieber song)
*Collosuss:stand down or there will be trouble
*Russell:you stole that from RoboCop
*(Then collosuss turns out to be robocop)
*Deadpool: what standing right next to me is Justin bieber and RoboCop WHAT THE
*Captain America:LANGUAGE
----
*Or Cable- “ Hey wanna team up ?” Thanos-“ Oh no thank you , it’s not my time.” Cable - “Oh ok .”(Then thanos would go back into his portal)﻿
----
*"Haven't I seen you somewhere before? Purple guy, shiny glove?"
*[Thanos bursts through a portal]
*"THERE CAN ONLY BE OOOOONE!!!!"﻿
----
*Deadpool : What is your power?
*Thanos : This. (Snaps Fingers)
*Deadpool : I don't feel so good ... (Starts to disappear, but when he notices Deadpool flips off thanos)﻿
----
*DP: So dark. Are you sure you're not from the Dc universe?
Cable: actually, i Am from the Dc universe. 
PEEL HIS FACE and it's 
Batman
DP:Are you from the arrowverse too? How can you move between the universes?
Cable/Batman:it's because I'm-
Deadpool shoot his face
"Shout up!"﻿
----
*Cable: I've traveled back in time to save my daughter. You?
*Thanos: Uhh...﻿
----
*Dp: Ok, Who directed this movie?
*Bad guy that shot GF: He is over there.
*Walks off camera and you hear a gun shot.
*Dp: Ok I’m making changes
*brings gf back kills all the bad guys﻿
----
*Deadpool: What's your super power ?
*Batman: I'm batman...
*Deadpool: ok.... So batman what can you offer the x force ?
*Batman: well I'm batman.... And I'm mega rich and stuff.....
*Deadpool: ok how is that a super power....?
*Batman: It doesn't have to be you Wana know why ?
*Deadpool: Not no really
*Batman: BECAUSE IM BATMAN !!!!﻿
----
*Ryan Reynolds trying at for Deadpool in X men Origins*
Casting Director: You’re hired
Ryan: Awesome!!
Deadpool: *appears with Cable’s time machine* WAIT!!
Ryan: huh? What the?
Deadpool: be serious.... you don’t want this part do ya? What if they decide to do a terrible job at making Deadpool in this movie? They might sew your mouth shut! For the sake of bad makeup
Ryan: is he serious?
Casting Director: *nervous* hehe no that’s uh... hehe... w-why would we do that?
Deadpool: you gave me ripoff wolverine hand blades, AND LASER EYES!
Casting Director: uh... well we didn’t write that in the script
Ryan: yeah it says right here *holds the script* there’s even a picture of it
Casting Director: I swear I didn’t write tha-
Deadpool: *shoots the Casting Director* Yes!! ...Deadpool!﻿
----
Scene - Deadpool tries to recruit Colossus to save Firefist and Juggernaut.
Deadpool- Okay fine, if you won't help me then I'll just get the others!
Scene change- opens the door to Professor X's office holding all the other X-men.
Deadpool - Hey any of you guys wanna help me stop Juggernaut?... hey don't ignore me! I saw you for that brief second when I wanted to die and stole Professors chair, come on he's your bad guy!﻿
----
*Deadpool: So that's how I saved my almost pregnant wife from certain death!
*Batman: I just let my parents die...
*Vanessa, Deadpool and superman all at the same time: WHY?
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN
*everyone sighs*
*Batman to Vanessa: Hey, I'm batman wanna know my.. secret identity?﻿
----
*Deadpool: Who are you?
*Batman: I'm Batman!!
*Deadpool: What's your superpower?
*Batman: I'm rich!!
*Deadpool: Okay... why are you rich?
*Batman: Because I'm Batman!!!
*Deadpool: Hm... I don't see your logic. Next!!
*Batman groans and walks off screen.
*Deadpool: Who are you?
*Groot: I am Groot.
*Deadpool: What's YOUR superpower?
*Groot: I am Groot.
*Deadpool: I see... and how will you help me?
*Groot: I am Groot.
*Deadpool: … you're in!!!
*Batman pokes his head back on screen.
*Batman: Oh come on!!!!!!﻿
----
*﻿after learning Russell was being abused)
*Deadpool: Four or five moments! That’s all it takes to-hold on. (ducks back down, says in a quiet voice to Russell) Hey kid, I may only get one clear shot here. Which one of these guys is the worst? If I was able to take out just one, which one should it be?
*Russell: ……Um, the headmaster is the balding one with glasses.
*Deadpool: Cool, I’ll aim for him. (stands back up) Four or five moments! (continues speech)﻿
----
*Spidey: You have a metal arm thats so awesome dude
*Cable: I also have a metal glove....
*Spidey: What do you...mean
*(Spidey sees Thanos)
*Spidey: I Don't Feel So Good......﻿
----
*Cable and Deadpool are fighting in the prison:
*Cable: Who are you?
*Deadpool: I’m Batman.
*Batman suddenly appears: No, I’m Batman.﻿
----
*When Cable and DP was fighting in the prison. Cable ask's who are you?
*DP : I'M BATMAN
*Cable : Yea And I'M THANOS
*DP : Say Whaaaaaaaaaat........
----
*﻿Deadpool:no no no NOOOOO
*this isn’t even the mcuuuuuu
*Gets call from pallpateeeen
*Deadpool: it’s time﻿
----
*batman:who are you
*deadpool:I'm deadpool.........
*batman: you know who I am?
*superman:noooooooooooooooo
*batman: I'm Batman
----
*where Deadpool mentions Batman, make a Batman cameo of some kind, but make it coherent, For example... when he says I'm Batman to Cable/Thanos and all of the sudden Batman (1989) appears and says Stop using my punch line, I'm Batman and then Deadpool would tell him Shut up Vulture! This isn't MCU .﻿
----
*So, you came from the future. Isn't it a thing thanos can do?
*And you look exactly like him....
*Cable- No,(hesitates and thinks for a while)
*Snaps
*Deadpool disintegrated
*Cable removes the mask-Alright we're done here﻿
----
*Colossus: Stop or there will be trouble
*Fire fist: You stole that from Robocop
*Deadpool: That’s Robocop
*(Robocop appears behind Colossus )
*Robocop: How dare you
*(Robocop throughs Colossus and walks away)
*Robocop: I’ll be back
*Deadpool and Fire fist: YOU STOLE THAT FROM THE TERMINATOR﻿
----
*Deadpool: So I went back in time, saved my girlfriend, and cleaned up the timeline.
*Superman: ...I think you've gone too far this time.
*Deadpool: Didn't you do the same thing, Mr-Fly-Around-The-World Super Fast?
*Superman: ...Uh....
*Batman: I'd save everybody without screwing up the timeline.
*Deadpool: How?
*Batman: Because I'm Batman.
*Deadpool: Tell that to Rachel. (Gets up) I'm going somewhere where my abilities will be more appreciated. See you!
*(Cut to the Time Travelers Restaurant from the Looper HISHE. At the table are Doc Brown, Doctors 10-12, and Doctor Strange)
*Twelfth Doctor: And then I punched through a diamond wall for four billion years!
*Doctor Strange: Pshh. That's nothing. I must have died a billion times bargaining with Dormammu!
*Deadpool: Hello, fellow time travelers!
*Everyone: UGH!
*Deadpool: What? I didn't do anything any of you wouldn't have done!
*Eleventh Doc: ...You tampered with fixed points in time!
*Dead pool: Ah, so it's only Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey when convenient.
*Doc Brown: Well, I think the human executions took things a bit too far.
*Terminator: (enters) I'm back!﻿
----
*Deadpool travels back in time to tell Thor to always go for the head and save the Universe. And in the cafe screen. Thor can ask : "Hey can you guy imagine what it would be if I missed. Half of the universe could have been dead. Including Spiderman, Winter Soldier,...etc. ". Avengers team: " That must have been terrible ". Deadpool show up and say : " You're welcome ". Batman : "What the... who are you?"
*Deadpool : I'm batman
Batman: No I'm batman
Groot : I'm groot
CA: I'm Steve Roger
.....
Other people: " Here we go again"﻿
----
*Deadpool: AAAND SO I WON!!
*Superman: that sounds lamé you Died and then got saved Cause of time travel.
*Deadpool: you would just do the same thing.
*Superman: No
*Batman: he's right you would have just gone back in time.
*Superman: No i would deflect the Bullet save the kid make out and fly outerspace and smile to the camera.
*Batman: and i would have won because im Batman
*Phone rings
*Deadpool: Ooh my spidey scences are ringeling
*Superman: thats youre phone
*Deadpool: oh ive gotta kill you Guy's i totally forgot.
*(Fighting secuince with jokes like Martha )﻿
----
*Thanos: I have problems with heroes trying to just take off my infinity glove... it's so annoying...
*Deadpool:heh... because of me marvel have problems with DC... it's even worse than your idea with killing half of universe... heh... yeaa...
*Batman: not only you make trouble for your creators... I do it in lego version... guess what is my password to batcave hehe...
*Thanos: what! Who you are and how you get behind us?!
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!!!﻿
----
Scene - Deadpool tries to recruit Colossus to save Firefist and Juggernaut.
Deadpool- Okay fine, if you won't help me then I'll just get the others!
Scene change- opens the door to Professor X's office holding all the other X-men.
Deadpool - Hey any of you guys wanna help me stop Juggernaut?... hey don't ignore me! I saw you for that brief second when I wanted to die and stole Professors chair, come on he's your bad guy!﻿
----
*When X-Force is about to jump out of the plain Deadpool sais 'Wait do not jump!!!' then peter says 'Why?'
than Deadpool says: 'My DEAD-sense is tinkeling, i have a feeling you are all gonna die!' than Domino says: 'Uh Deadpool i don't feel so good.' And everyone faids away exept Deadpool. Than he gets a message on the device from Nick and Says: ' It is time to save the Hishe universe!.﻿
----
*In the Cafe - Superman, Batman and Deadpool sits in the cafe with Cable and Domino
*Superman: So you pretty much saved the day...
*Deadpool: Yes.
*Superman: You lost your loved one and the only way you did it was to travel back in time. (coughs) sounds familiar...again.
*Deadpool: (look at screen) Seriously? We're going with that joke? Sounds like poor fan service writing.﻿
----
*Deadpool: AAAND SO I WON!!
*Superman: that sounds lamé you Died and then got saved Cause of time travel.
*Deadpool: you would just do the same thing.
*Superman: No
*Batman: he's right you would have just gone back in time.
*Superman: No i would deflect the Bullet save the kid make out and fly outerspace and smile to the camera.
*Batman: and i would have won because im Batman
*Phone rings
*Deadpool: Ooh my spidey scences are ringeling
*Superman: thats youre phone
*Deadpool: oh ive gotta Go
*Deadpool enters the villain pub and sees all the dust
*Deadpool: hey palps you should fire Thanos hes doing a bad job! palps ? Oh yeah my mission !! But you Guy's are going to have to Wait till hishe Avengers 4! Bye!!﻿
----
*Get Cable to, instead of going on his solo mission he goes for Xavier's school and asks for help to the main x-men.
*Cable: I've come from the future and I need your help.
*Logan: Hey dude, make a line.
*Deadpool: Hey, why are you guys here? What happened to the x-men that were supposed to be from this time line?
*Cable: They are dead, didn't you watched Logan's movie?
*Deadpool: Oh, so you guys came here to replace the ones who died? Or did this movie is happening before they died?
*Awkward silence...﻿
----
*DeadPool uses the time travel device to go to just as Thanos snaps in Infinity War.
*Captain America seeing DeadPool: "You're too late, Wade.... we already lost."
*DeadPool: "Oh, I'm just here to set the mood with some music."
*holds up a boombox that is blasting Kansas- Dust in the wind
*Iron Man shaking his head gravely as spidey disappears: "NOT COOL."
*DeadPool: "Too soon?"﻿
----
*Dead pool uses cables time traveling device to go back to Titan in Infinity war
*Starlord: WHY DID U DO IT!!!
*Thanos: I... had to...
*Starlord: No you didn’t. Haaiiii yyyyaa..
*Deadpool karate chops starlords neck
*Deadpool: aaaaand no more LEGO movie 2, now Thanos, I’ll take that gauntlet for you
*slices his hand off and then shoots him
*Deadpool: thanks a lot guys, ba bye now
*goes back to present time, erases cable from existence
*cue cafe scene
----
*You should do one where thanos powers up the space stone then deadpool and cable walk through and all the avengers are confused. But here is the catcher, deadpool says hello to everyone then turns to thanos and goes "HUUUUUUH?!?!? Cable?" Turns to cable, "thanos? No wait, you're cable..." Points to thanos "and your thanos, or-" (gasps) turns to the camera, grabs it and shouts "JOSH!?!?!?"﻿
----
*Cable: "I have this Time Travel thingy"
*Deadpool: "You have WHAT??" (Yoinks from Cable's hand, goes off and saves his gf, does a couple other things)
*Cable: "You can't just use it a ton something really bad could Haaaapppeeenn!...." (Cable is transported into the oxygen chamber from the first deadpool, AJAX is above him)
*AJAX: "Goodbye fake villian" (turns the machine on and Cable's face slowly turns....purple revealing him to now be Thanos)
*Queue Deadpool hands on side of face "OOOOOOOO *&#$"﻿
----
*Deadpool talking to Firefist, looks at the two men who abused him.
*Deadpool: Was it both of them?
*Firefist nods
*Deadpool: Colossus!!! Get the handcuffs, and not the fun kind!
*A few moments later, the two men and the rest of the abusers are being arrested.
*Deadpool: Wow Colossus, I can see why you like doing things the right way. That was ridiculously easy.
*Firefist: Yeah. Thanks for showing me justice can be served the right way. Imagine I lost my temper and went on a crazy killing spree or something instead (he laughs)
*Everyone else laughs as well.
*Deadpool: That's crazy. Who would go on a killing spree because of someone who abused and tortured you.
*Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead stare at him.
*Negasonic: What about Francis Douchepool?
*Deadpool: What!!! Francis!!! Don't be ridiculous...I killed way more people before I got to him (he laughs)
*Colossus, Negasonic and Firefist stare at him.
*Deadpool: Oh sorry. Yay clean justice (nervous laugh)﻿
----
*Deadpool: Hey Thanos now we know that Russell is also a victim go in the future and tell yourself to save him and all the other kids from that old principal.
*Cable:For the last time Wade I'm Cable and why didn't I think of that.
*Deadpool:Because you aren't a fan of me and my movie. Thank the fans for pointing it out.
*Cable: What the? How long were they there?
*Juggarnut (runs into Deadpool and Cable)
----
*﻿Vanessa: "Whew... that was close-"
*Wade: "Yeah, hang on one second."
*Deadpool takes a moment to go out the door. As Vanessa waits, we hear a series of gunshots, punches, breaking bones and screaming. Probably a "who's your daddy?" quip from Wade - it's not pretty.
*When Deadpool enters the room again, he's covered in blood.
*Vanessa: "Oh, was there another guy out there waiting to make a surprise attack?"
*Wade: "Yeah! And, you know, I figured, instead of risking my love interest and the entire point of the first movie get needlessly killed while I just stand around pointing out sloppy writing errors, I could just... save you and not do those sloppy writing errors!"
*Vanessa: "Oh. Good thinking! Wanna make 500 babies as I serve as a helpful supportive role throughout the rest of the movie?"
*Wade: "Everything you just said in that sentence made me pee a little."﻿
----
*At the scene were juggernaut and deadpool fight then juggernaut rips him in half dead pools legs grow a torso arms and head and the torso grows back legs and so then there's two deadpool soldiers and one of them asks the other if he wants to get a milkshake at the super cafe were of course Batman and Superman are and so they sit down drinking their milkshakes and then Batman says," so where's cable and juggernaut". One of the deadpools say," oh I think their on a rampage and fighting each other so yeah. Superman says " wait, whaaaat. While cable and juggernaut run past the super cafe fighting each other and deadpool says " so wana join the x-force ". And bat and just like no. Then deadpool asks why and then batman "says because I'm batman". And deadpool says" oh, oh yeah.﻿
----
Scientist: Heres a bright idea, why wont you ask the pilot is ot safe to jump out of a plane during turbulance becouse the wheater isint good for a parachute jump and all of the memebers would die in most horifing way as possible during this action.
Deadpool: Uh Fine... Hey it is unsafe we have to wait until it safe
Later. They show up when Cable just killed Fire fist.
Deadpool: Dang it Cable! Now i have to find a Timestone.... (offscreen) This does not put a smile on my face
Thanos pops ou
Thanos: HEY! Thats my time! There can only be one!﻿
----
*(Deadpool travels in time)
*Deadpool: Vanessa I have come to save you.
*Vanessa: Wade What the heck how.
*Deadpool: Wait.
*(Shoots guy)
*Deadpool: Okay now that I have saved you I'll be right back.
*(Travels back to talk to Rian Johnson)
*Deadpool: Hey Deadpool here do not let Luke Skywalker die. Because everyone will hate your movie. Okay bye.
*(Travels back to that flash scene in Batman v Superman. Then kills flash)
*Deadpool: Ok Bruce YOU DIDN'T SEE Anything. Got it. Okay good bye love you.
----
*﻿Punisher (Netflix series): Time travel is so confusing.
*[everyone murmurs in agreement]
*Rick Sanchez: This is why I don't have it in my adventures.﻿
----
*Deadpool: any powers you wanna tell us about?
*Peter: no. But i have a phone. I can call Avengers
*Deadpool: You have a spiryt!
or
*Deadpool go back in time and change every cloth in Thanos wardrobe to Green Lantern.﻿
----
Ryan Reynolds look at a Deadpool script. Deadpool shoots him.
Deadpool: “Wait, if I kill him, then I won’t exist.. Oh sh...
Captain America: “Language!!!!”﻿
----
*Deadpool- So what's your superpower?
*Starlord then goes on to describe his achievements.... Fast forward to several minutes and then
*Deadpool- Okay !! That was great and what about you, Thing ?
*Groot- I am Groot !!
*Deadpool- You are in !!
*Starlord - But how.....
*Deadpool then unmasks and is revealed to be Batman and says his classic line..."because I am Batman....!!"﻿
----
*Deadpool: tell us,what you can do?
*Daredevil: I have martial arts and I'm also blind.
*Deadpool: your voice sounds familiar
*Daredevil: that must be another guy.
*Deadpool: why should I hire you?
*Daredevil: because I'm batm... I mean because I'm daredevil﻿
----
*Marvel Bunch (we tle) Deadpool use Cable's Time Machine. He see Thanos. Shoot him five Times and shout to Avengers: Hey Fake Superheroes!
Avengers:
Who Are You!?
Deadpool:
I am BATMAN!!!﻿
----
*vanessa: "wait, by saving me in the past, don't you cancel every single event that happened following this, making this entire movie plot fairly useless"
*wade: "well, that's the studio asking for sequel money"
another idea, at the superhero cafe, have batman argue with deadpool since he impersonated batman's "i'm batman" in the movie﻿
----
*Deadpool in the super cafe and something beeping from his pocket.
*Deadpool:”I want to go to the toilet.”
He go to the toilet and pick a device from his pocket which is the one that from the end of Infinity War HISHE.
*Deadpool:”It’s time.....”﻿
----
Deadpool: Any powers ?
X-23 From Logan: (Shows her claws)
Deadpool: Oh your like a young female version of Wolviern. Your in !﻿
----
Then Deadpool says “well, sh” and then cap comes out of nowhere and says “language” and then both Deadpool and cap fade but before he fades Deadpool say “motherfu...” then fades and then Nick Fury comes out and says “That’s MY line!!” And then HE fades﻿
----
Deadpool says “so what’s your power?” 
Batman “ I’m rich” 
Deadpool “ well that’s just lazy writing”
Or
Deadpool says “ so what’s your power?”
Batman “ IM BATMAN” 
Deadpool has a flash back to green lantern
Deadpool “ fine as long as you don’t make me apart of the justice league “﻿
----
*Deadpool: Wait, don't you play Thanos?
*Cable: Whaaat? Noooo!
*Paint begins to chip off skin, showing pink skin under.
*Deadpool: So you DO play Thanos!
*Cable: OH COME ON!
----
*﻿Daniel Baxter: (off-screen) Aw come on, man!! That's like, the ninth time this has happened!!
*Deadpool: Well then, it sucks to be you.
*Daniel Baxter: (still off-screen) Uuuuggghhh...
*The lights flicker and shut off.﻿
----
*(Cable teleports into the hall)
*Deadpool: Who are you
*Cable:I’m here to kill the kid
*Deadpool: Why
*Cable: Cuz he’s gonna kill mine in the future!
*Deadpool: couldn’t you just ask him not to?
*Cable: OH YEAH! That changes EVERYTHING﻿
----
*Negasonic Teenage Warhead and girlfriend have fixed the time machine and Deadpool gets inside.
*Deadpool: Goodbye Yukio! I'm getting my girlfriend back!
*Cable shoots the time machine.
*Cable: Oh no, I'm not letting you have this after I ruined my chance.
*Deadpool: Don't you realize you could have gone back too?
*Cable: ...
*Deadpool: ...
*Cable: NOOOOOOOO!!!﻿
----
*Deadpool: ...And then we all LIVED happily ever after. Which is great because I don't know what would have happened if my girlfriend actually stayed dead, like... forever.
*Superman: Well for one, it would've had a real, lasting impact on your character.
*Deadpool: Aww what, are you salty because even MY team-up movie made more money than yours? Or is it because I stole Bruce's line?
*Batman(mumbling): You didn't steal my line. It's BECAUSE I'm Batman.. so that didn't count.
*Superman: I'm just saying you can't just erase the only thing that got you into your adventure. Bruce wouldn't prevent his parents from dying, because then there would be no Batman!
*Deadpool: Oh what, because YOU never did that, Mr. Physics?
*Batman: You guys seriously need to stop calling me Bruce.. But also, burn!
*Superman: Just... Please stop messing up the timeline.
*CW Flash(appearing): Yeah, man. It can get... weird.
*Deadpool: Aw c'mon I'm having fun! I already killed Ryan Reynolds before he became famous!
*Superman: Wait you killed who?
*Deadpool: Exactly.﻿
----
*Deadpool: ...And then we all lived happily ever after. (Deadpool closes a picture book. Pans out to show Deadpool surrounded in the Villain Pub)
*Sith: How did you get in here?
*Deadpool: Ummmmmm.... (Deadpool lifts up Infinity Gauntlet with Thanos' severed arm)﻿
----
*Deadpool: hey you are from fantastic 4! Did they they trow you out?
*Cap: no I am captain America
*Deadpool: what the f...
*Cap throws his shield
*Cap:language
*Deadpool: sorry I just thought after fox and Disney deal fantastic 4 would join us.
----
*Darth Vader comes to either Deadpool:
*Vader: You're having a child? This is wonderful! I have a son and a daughter too!
*Deadpool: Get out! That joke is getting old now!
*Vader comes to Cable:
*Vader: You have a daughter? I have a daughter too!﻿
----
Cable: "This thing only has enough juice for one more trip back home, so--"
Deadpool: "Waitwaitwait - you've got enough juice for just one trip back to the land that invented time machines, and you can go to any time you want?"
Cable: "Yeah."
Deadpool: "Oh, DOMINO!!!!"
(one trip to the cafe later...)
Domino: "So we leapt forward to just before Nate's family got killed, saved them without actually hurting anybody, threw Russell in jail, stole another time device, and got me back here! Neat, huh?"
Clark: :"Uh-huh...and how did you do all that?"
Domino: "Oh, it's because I'm--"
Bruceman: "YOU'RE NOT BATMAN, I AM!!!"
Domino: "....just that lucky?"﻿
----
Cable: my name is Cable, i'am coming for the kid.
Deadpool: what? The kid!?
Firefist: you can not kidnap me!
Deadpool: Why is your sound like Batman?
Firefist take the mask of his face and say ' because i'am Batman!﻿
----
*Deadpool: How did you go back in time
*Cable: turns into batmans face
8BECAUSE IM BATMAN
*dead pool: hey I'm supposed to be the one breaking all the walls﻿
----
*Juggernaut: I'm the juggernaut, bi--
*Captain America: LANGUAGE!!! (throws his new shield at him which doesn't hurt him)﻿
----
*Deadpool: Now, let's go get our fu-
*Captain America throws his shield at Deadpool.
*Captain America: Language!! Come on man, there could be kids watching!!﻿
----
*Cable: Who are you?
*Deadpool: I'm Batman.
*Batman: He is not Batman !!!
*(Batman appears and stops Cable and all the mutants)
*Deadpool: Thanks batsy, but I had it under my contr...
*(Batman punches Deadpool and he leaves him lying on the floor)
*Deadpool: You're so dark. Are you sure you're not from Dawn of Justice (BatmanvSuperman)?
*Batman: It's just I don't like the idea that someone stealing my name. Do you know why?
*Deadpool: Because you..
*Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN !!!!﻿
----
*Deadpool: So, it says here you've got lazer eyes, can set yourself on fire, can turn into metal, can turn into goo, can make infinite copies of yourself, can copy other people, blah blah blah blah.... Wow. You've got a helluva resume, Mr...?
*Jack-Jack: babbles "Jack-Jack"
*Deadpool: Okay, Mr. *babbles "Jack-Jack"*.
*Jack-Jack: copies Deadpool's face exactly
*Deadpool: stares at him for a second You're in!
----
*﻿(Deadpool look at thanos)
*Deadpool:oh hey cable
*(Cable takes thanos costume off)
*Cable:how did you know it was me
*Deadpool:easy. WAIT!!! IS THAT A METAL ARM. trying to copy winter soilder?
*Cable:NO
*(Bucky with an arm missing walks up to cable.)
*Bucky:give me my arm back﻿
----
Deadpool : Oh no ! She's dead... But I know what to do.
Weasel : Adopting ?
Deadpool : What ? No !
Weasel : You know, getting the kid you both wanted so much.
Deadpool : We already have enough baby legs in this movie ! No, what I'm talking about is...
At the super café
Deadpool : Sup' Supes !
Superman : Oh no...
Deadpool : Hey big guy, funny meeting you here. I'd need a tinsy-tiny favor.
Superman : I am NOT going back in time to save your girlfriend.
Deadpool : Why not ?! You did it for Spider Garfield and he's a Marvel too !
Batman : I told you : You shouldn't have done that.
Superman : Again : How in the world do you know ?
Batman : BECAUSE I'M-
Deadpool : WE KNOW ! Gosh, we won't forget you're Batman. Even if they kill you in the next Justice League.
Batman : Wait, what ?
Deadpool: ANYwho, how about this : You bring my Vanessa back and I won't bother you again.
Superman: ...Seriously ?
Deadpool : I promise.
Superman : Even if she dies again ?
Deadpool : Yea yea, I'll have my own time-travel device by then.
Superman : Oooohh that can't be good.
Deadpool : You don't get to see me agaaaiiinn...
Superman : ...All right fine.
Deadpool : Woohoo !﻿
----
*Deadpool builds a anti hero diner because the other two hangouts rejected him
*Deadpool: welcome to my anti hero diner
*Suicide squad,punisher, red hood, watchmen and spawn: Yeah!
*Deadpool: where waiting for you venom!
----
*deadpool:wait if i shot him wont i kill myself? whatever
*Shots ryan Renyolds
*deadpool fades out of existence
*deadpool: dang it what is this infinity war?﻿
----
*Deadpool: What’s you’re super power?
*Thanos: I have one glove with 6 rocks.
*Deadpool: You’re In!﻿
----
*(Deadpool's beeper goes off reading "villains pub" and tosses it away)
*Who uses beepers still anyway? didnt those die in the 90s. Plus its not anything universe shattering happened﻿
----
*Writer: "We finally have a finished script for the Deadpool 2 video. This is going to be gr-"
*Deadpool (stealing script): "Yoink!"
*Deadpool travels back in time to when the Deadpool 2 writers were writing the film
*The whiteboard says: 'Mid-credits scene ideas'
*Ryan Reynolds picks up a piece of paper with ideas on it
*Deadpool pops in and switches the ideas page with the HISHE script﻿
----
DP: I hear you rummaging around in there!
Rus: Oi! Ever heard of constipation!?
DP: TMI, little dude.
Or Peter scene. With Star Lord.
DP: Peter... Got any powers?
Star Lord: Uh... Nope.
DP: .... You're in!﻿
----
*Cable: Who are you
*Deadpool: I'm Batman
*Cable: Oh sure, and I'm Thanos.
*Deathstroke appears
*Deathstroke: We meet again, Bruce.
*Deadpool pulls face to reveal it to be Batman.
*Batman: Slade.
*Cable: What is going on.
*Megan Fox: Hey, Jonah. Want to ride.
*Cable: Why did you say that name.
*Batman: I feel you bro.
----
*﻿T-800: I'm a cybernetic organism, i was sent from the future to protect you
*Russel: what the heck?
*T-800: Sorry, wrong Franchise, hasta la vista!﻿
----
*Deadpool: so Peter you have any powers?
*Peter: just one....
*Deadpool: what's that???
*Peter: THE POWER TO NOT SKIP ADS!!!!!
*deadpool: OMG!!!!!!!﻿
----
You could have Deadpool sitting on the couch with his feet propped up watching the final scene of Infinity War.
Deadpool: "Wow. They think this movie was better than mine? They all died. What lazy writing."
Domino, Cable, and rest of X Force fades away into dust
Deadpool: "Well, I guess I have to take out Barney now. Get ready for the box offices to blow up, Disney."
uses the time travel device to go back to the beginning of time when the infinity stone were made
Random Celestial: "Finally, they are all made. Now to scatter them all across the universe so no one can ever find them al..."
Deadpool: cuts the Celestial off "I'll be taking those. You are all beautiful creatures. I love yooooouuuu..."
places the stone sin the gauntlet and goes to the cafe to show off to Batman and Superman
Deadpool: "So I saved the day like usual, and now I'm basically a god. Do you want to know why?"
Batman: "I really don't."
Deadpool: "Because I'm Batman!"
Batman: "Ugh."
Deadpool: "Hey, it's not my fault DC doesn't have the budget to actually make your character appealing."
Superman: "I'm starting to like this guy."
Thanos and his friends show up without the gauntlet
Thanos: "You will all bow before me!"
Deadpool snaps his fingers and Thanos and his friends disappear into dust
Batman: "Show off..."
Deadpool: "I'm Batman!"
----
Wade: phew thank god. That could have gone bad.
Wade looks at his girlfriend
Wade: you could have died
Girlfriend releaved at Wade
Wade: I mean, if you died I probably be all dramatic and find a selution to kill myself to be with you and that seems really difficult and annoying
Another assisin comes in and shoots Wade's girlfriend.
Wade: AAH COME ON﻿
----
*DP : please tell me they got that in slow motion.
*Zooms out so you can see the cameraman
*Cameraman : "uh...yeah...sure. slowest of motions Wade..." Backs away slowly﻿
----
*Deadpool: “So, you have any powers?”
*Peter: “No, I just saw the poster.”
*Deadpool: “Alright then, get out.”
*Peter: “Why?”
*Deadpool: “You’ll die.”
*Peter: “wAit wHat?”
*Deadpool: “This is a superhero team.”
*Peter: “where’s the exit I need to find a book club ;-;”
----
*Joker:Wanna know how I got these scars?
*Deadpool:No, Do you wanna know how i got my name DEADPOOL?
*Joker:No.
*Deadpool:Glad you asked, I killed a man dead in a pool,
*Joker:Thats it??
*Deadpool:Yes, if you said yes earlier the story would have been a lot better.﻿
----
Deadpool kills Ryan and said
Deadpool: Your welcome Canada
He walks away few steps but realised
Deadpool: Wait. Green Lantern was before my two movies. So if I killed Ryan Reynolds in 2011 then that means. Oh God I don't feel well
Deadpool sees himself turn to ashes like the Infinity War
Deadpool: Oh what the F$@&#%¢! I should have just warned him like I warned Peter
and Deadpool dies by turning himself into ashes which means he accidentally made his Deadpool movies not happening﻿
----
*Thanos: You should’ve gone for the he-
*Deadpool: Hey, this isn’t my movie!
*Thanos: This isn’t you’re universe
*Deadpool: Excuse me, wh-
*teleportation
*Joker: Deathstroke?﻿
----
Cable "my wife and daughter will be safe
Darth vader "you have a daughter too! This is wonderful you should tell everyone. Hey deadpool did here the news.﻿
Then have Harry Wells from The Flash say, “See, this is what happens when you mess with the timestream!!!”﻿
----
Cable puts on the infinity gauntlet!!
Deadpool puts on the green lantern ring!!﻿
----
*Vanessa: So, when can i be copycat?
*Wade: Soon, honey, save it for X-force
*Vanessa: Shouldn't we start now? I mean, there's not much to do with my character unless you want to go with the cliché of killing me and-- Vanessa gets shot
*oh, really writers? You dissapoint me
*Vanessa dies
*Wade: VANESSAAAAA﻿
----
*Deadpool:Before you do...*wakandan accent* Get this man a red outfit!
Idea 3 Peter:My name is Peter.
Deadpool:I had a Peter once
Deadpool has a flashback of him and Spider-Man skipping through the Avengers HQ 
Iron-Man:Wade,you know the rules.
Deadpool:I know! No X-Men.
Negasonic:Trainee!
Deadpool:Stop rubbing it in and go back with Pinkie Pie!
Idea 4 Deadpool:What's your power?
Groot:I am Groot!
Deadpool:You're in!
Idea 5 Cable and Deadpool see Avengers Infinity War
Deadpool:That Thanos guy looks like you but dipped in grape juice,bald,and wears a metal cleaning glove.
Cable:That Purple Mr Clean doesn’t look like me.﻿
----
*Deadpool : You know what
(Busts down the door)
Deadpool : You're all coming with me
Wolverine : Slow down there buddy
Deadpool : Oh shut up you're going to die soon anyways,oh you also have a daughter
Wolverine : I have a daughter!Oh my god I have a daughter.Proffesor X I have a daughter.Quicksilver I have a daughter.﻿
----
*Deadpool: That's pretty dark, are you sure you aren't from the DC universe?
*Batman suddenly appears, throwing a Batarang at Cable, killing him.
*Deadpool: What the...? Get out of my movie!
*Batman: I'm afraid I can't do that.
*Deadpool: Why? Is it because people saw this joke coming from a mile away?
*Batman: No, it because I'm-
*Deadpool: Jealous? Don't worry about it. I made WAY more than Justice League did. We all know it.﻿
----
*Thanos: You should have aimed for the head.
*(Cable comes out of portal and shoots Thanos in the head.)
*Cable: I'm the only one who gets to wear metal on their arm.
*(Cable then turns to face the Winter soldier.)﻿
----
*Cable: Who are you?
*DP: I'M Batman!
*Batman: No you're not!
*(Batman gives DP a paper.) You had just been sued Deadpool. BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!
*Cable: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?????﻿
----
I don't own Deadpool or Teen Titans go!The Teen Titans from Teen Titans go begin to wake up and found themselves in a warehouse. "Where are we?" Robin asked.
"The last place you're gonna see." said Deadpool emerging from the shadows.
"Slade!" Beast Boy growled at Deadpool.
Deadpool takes out a iron glove and slaps Beast Boy across the face. "Wrong! I'm Deadpool. The merc with the mouth and the guy who's gonna save the world." said Deadpool.
"We can help you! So who's planning on destroying the world?" Robin asked.
"You!" Deadpool shouted and pointed at the Teen Titans.
"We didn't do anything!" Raven exclaimed.
"Yes you did! You and your show is destroying the Teen Titans, DC, Cartoon Network and the real world's logic." Deadpool replied. "You also killed our childhoods from mine and the kids in hearts."
"Wait you watch cartoons?" Starfire asked.
"Ok seriously? Cartoons are for kids!" Raven growled.
Deadpool took out a crowbar and smacked Raven across the face. "First off there are people who watch cartoons as adults. Without My little pony friendship is magic we wouldn't have bronies. But besides that we have kids at heart." said Deadpool. "Second of all South Park, Family guy, The Simpsons, Futurama, Rick and Morty and Aqua Teen Hunger Force are cartoons for adults. So you just flipped off Adult Swim."
"You crazy man?" Cyborg asked.
"I am crazy. Now brings me to this." said Deadpool. "YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO BE CALLED SUPERHEROES!"
"Oh come on! We're the Teen Titans!" said Beast Boy.
"Really? You caused a war on Starfire's home planet. But killing that blob leader. ROBIN. You people spend more time in the bathroom than fighting crime seriously there are villains running around and you're jacking off!" said Deadpool. "Oh and you call yourself a kid show. May I remind you a kid show has morals. Instead you're teaching kids the opposite like being too smart is bad, reading books is bad, be a hoarder and stuff food down your throat!"
"It's called comedy!" said Robin.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY! Saying waffles over and over is annoying. You are disgrace to the universe and the jury will decide your fate." said Deadpool.
Then we see hologram heads of the Nostalgia Critic, Peter Griffin, G1 Optimus Prime, Star Butterfly, Buttercup, Bender and Ted.
"Guilty!" said the Nostalgia Critic.
"Guilty!" said Peter Griffin.
"Guilty!" said G1 Optimus Prime.
"Guilty!" said Star Butterfly.
"Guilty!" said Buttercup.
"You are guilty and you can bite my shiny metal ass!" said Bender.
"You guys are so guilty!" said Ted.
"For punishment. I will place you ball in a pool full of Dip from who framed Roger Rabbit?" said Deadpool.
"This is madness!" Robin shouted.
"Madness? This is Titans!" Deadpool shouted and kicked the Teen Titans in 300 style and the Teen Titans fall in the dip and they scream in pain from the dip.
"We're melting!" Robin cried.
"Oh what a world!?" Cyborg shouted.
"Ok next time don't rob a classic!" said Deadpool.
The Deadpool symbol spins and the location is at Comic con where Deadpool walks through the door and says. "People! You are free!" said Deadpool and everybody cheered.
Category:Alternate Endings