Christmas Who? (spoof) (ONBCP)

Cast
Om Nom - Spongebob
Eva - Patrick
Dudley - Squidward
Elsa - Mr. Krabs
Top Cat - Patchy
Bree - Potty
Transcript
And now, direct from Disneyland, America's favorite cat and president of the Om Nombob Candypants fan club, Top Cat. (The exterior of the Disney castle is shown. The name Top Cat appears. As we go inside, Top Cat is wrapping presents)
Top Cat: (to the tune of Jingle Bells) La, la, la. La, la, la. La, la, la, la, la. (he notices he's on air) Oh! Hi. (he waves) I'm Top Cat, president of the Om Nombob Candypants fan club! (He notices a long piece of confetti on his hook and tries to shake it off. He pulls on it and whacks himself in the eye, giving him a black eye. He switches his patch over to the other eye) Hey, that's better! (Bree, a robotic superhuman, runs in)
Bree: (squawk) Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Top Cat: That's right, Bree! It is Christmas. (he limps over to the fireplace) And there ain't nothing better in the whole world than a Charactown Christmas. It sure is a magical time of year. (he blows on his pipe, and bubbles emerge) Why, I'll bet old Om Nombob is gearing up for Santa Claus right now! (He picks up a picture of Om Nombob. Cut to Om Nombob, holding a remote)
Om Nom: I sure am! (He presses a button on the remote. A large chimney rises from the ground next to his house, and a gigantic funnel pops out of it with the words "Welcome Santa" in neon letters) I'm ready! (Top Cat laughs)
Top Cat: Not bad for a monster with no vertebrae. (he puts down Om Nom's picture) And I'm sure our pal Eva is doing his share of the decorating. (He picks up a picture of Eva. Cut to Eva standing by her house with a dopey smile on her face. Zoom out to reveal a single Xmas ball hanging from the antenna on top of her house. It snaps off and hits the ground, and does as well. Now, Top Cat is mixing cookie dough) I too am also preparing for Christmas. (he lifts up the mixer) Hmm, unbaked cookie dough! (he takes a lick) Mmm...
Bree: (squawk) Bree want cookie dough! (she runs over, squawking) Cookie! (Top Cat ducks)
Top Cat: Bree! No! (Top Cat flies back and forth)
Bree: Cookie! (squawk)
Top Cat: Get out of here!
Bree: Cookie!
Top Cat: Bree!
Bree: (squawk) Give me a lick!
Top Cat: Back off, you running freak! (Bree sits on the counter)
Bree: (squawk) Clarify please.
Top Cat: (The Cookie Dough is shaped like Om Nom and Eva was shown) This here cookie dough is for the children, not for mean girls and other people. (Cut to someone reaching over and ringing a bell. Top Cat looks out the window) What's that? Three bells! Well, we all know what three bells means!
Children: (off-screen) Free ice cream! (Top Cat laughs)
Top Cat: No, you silly livers! (sternly) No!
Bree: (squawk) Man overboard? (Top Cat walks over to a desk)
Top Cat:You, I'm ignoring. (he sits down) No, it means it's time to open fan letters! (Bree comes over with a letter in her hand)
Bree: (squawk) Here you go! (Patchy tugs at it)
Top Cat: Thank you, Bree. (Bree's not letting go) Yeah. OK Bree, thank you! (Potty squawks, still not letting go) Come on, give it, you girl! (Bree squawks some more) Quiet, infernal girl! (He knocks her head. Bree squawks and faints. Top Cat nods) Hmm. (he sits back down) This letter comes to us from...
Name and address withheld!
(Top Cat tears the envelope open, pieces of it flying all over the place. He pulls up his hat and places a pair of reading glasses)
Top Cat: And he writes, "Dear Om Nombob, I am ten years old, and I was wondering if you like Christmas as much as I do. Sincerely yours...
Name and address withheld!
(Top Cat gets up and takes off his glasses. Now his eye patch is back on)
Top Cat: A very good question. But you know they didn't always celebrate Christmas in Charactown.
Bree: (squawk) They didn't?
Top Cat: No ma' am, my fine fast teenage neck pain! (He grabs Bree. Her friend, falls to the ground. Top Cat hangs a homemade Om Nom ornament on a Xmas tree. Zoom out, showing the entire X-mas tree, which is decorated with many similar Om Nom ornaments, as well as ornaments featuring Eva and Dudley, and a few gift boxes) There was a time when no one had even heard of Christmas in Bikini Bottom. (he snaps his fingers) Hey! Who wants to hear the story of Om Nombob's very first Christmas? (Cut to Bree, who looks very drowsy, with bloodshot eyes and groans. Top Cat turns around) Bree?! (he sees an empty bowl of cookie dough, accompanied by a foghorn noise) You ate all me cookie dough! (we see Bree is now incredibly chubby. She faints)
Bree: Squ-ouch...
Top Cat: Oh, well. On with the show!