2012-07-31 A Funny Thing Happened

Life as an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. is probably less glamorous than the few people that actually know what S.H.I.E.L.D. is would expect. Mostly it involves a lot of driving, and most of it through parts of the country that you have to drive to because there's nothing there. Which is precisely what one Phil Coulson is doing this very minute, cruising down a long stretch of southwestern freeway, on his way to who-knows where.
The monotony is broken by the occassional small town, some of them barely more than a service station or two, and the opportunity to put whatever he wants on the car's stereo without ridicule or complaints about his singing talent or lack thereof. Just another day in the life of a dashing super-agent, for sure.
Fighting flying bad guys is awesome, until you pass out from exertion and wake up in the middle of nowhere. The last thing Molly knew, she was fighting a team of jet-packed super criminals in Brooklyn...and now she's surrounded by nothing. The young hero makes her way to the side of the road, reaching up to peel off her domino mask. She sighs, ducking behind a bush to change out of her hero costume. Her backpack had been rifled through and the little bit of cash she had stolen, but she still had her clothes and photos and such. Soon enough Molly reappears on the side of the road, dressed in a Spider-Man t-shirt and jean shorts, along with worn and scuffed Converse. She hucks her backpack over one shoulder (It's shaped like a cat), and pulls her hat down on her head. The hat resembles a monkey clinging to her forehead. She chews on her lip and sighs, making her way vaguely north east, and slips a thumb out in case anyone drives by. But if anyone tries anything on the sixteen year old...God help them!
It is certainly not standard S.H.I.E.L.D. operating procedure to pick up hitchers. By rights, Coulson should probably keep driving. But that is simply not who he is-- Phillip J. Coulson does not breeze past teenaged girls hitching in the middle of nowhere.
Thus Molly is treated to the sight of a slick black luxury sport sedan pulling onto the shoulder a ways ahead of her, and Coulson pops the door open to let the bouncy swing music full of trumpets and whatnot escape into the dusty air. He waits patiently, drumming his fingers on the wheel, quite confident he can manage to handle a lone teenaged girl if she's looking for trouble. And when she gets to the door, she gets a friendly smile from the unassuming man in a suit and sunglasses. "It's dangerous to go it alone," he notes mildly. "Where're you headed?"
The girl's walking slows as the black sedan pulls up ahead of her. That's totally the kind of car a super villain would drive. Molly hesitates and then takes a deep breath, making her way to the open door. She peers inside and blinks at the sight of the driver. Okay, definatly not a super villain.
"Hi! Kinda lost out here. I'm going a long way, though...so...drop me off whenever you have to." She slides into the car and sets her cute backpack at her feet. She doesn't put her seat belt on. "I'm Molly!"
Molly gets another bit of a smile and a short nod from the agent. "That makes two of us. I'm Phil, Molly-- nice to meet you. Buckle up, please." He doesn't actually wait for her to do so before pulling back on the road-- he has a schedule to keep-- but he clearly expects the polite request to be granted. "I'm headed back to New York, actually. So anywhere between here and there? It's fair game."
Molly Hayes lets out a bit of a huff when she's asked to buckle in. She buckles in, though, and leans back in her seat. She peers out the window before he mentions New York and she turns back. "Oh, me too! I was there not long ago...before some crazy stuff happened and I ended up out here." She watches the man for a moment while he drives, cocking her head to the side, curiously. "I live near the Park." In the Park, but she's a bit sensitive about that.
Agent Coulson can't resist a chuckle, and peeks at her over the rim of his sunglasses. "Let you in on a secret," he confides. "That's my story, too. Strange, isn't it? Headed back to our Central Park location after some--" he grins, echoing her words-- "crazy stuff happened and I had to come out here to fix it." Okay, so technically the helicarrier is somewhere vaguely *over* the park, last he knew. But still.
Molly Hayes sighs and nods, crossing her arms over her chest. "Bad guys who can fly are jerks." She enigmatically leaves it at that, turning to peer out the window again. A McDonalds comes into view in the distance, along with a gas station and similar highway establishments. Her stomach growls quite audibly, and she clears her throat in an attempt to cover it, but fails.
It is only the very highly trained nature of the Son of Coul that keeps him from registering a Interested(tm) reaction to Molly's statement, and the way 'bad guys with jetpacks' fills in the rest of the story for him. Phil knows what's what now. Mostly. But instead of bringing it up right away, he pulls for the exit with an apologetic, sheepish sort of expression. "You don't mind a drive-thru stop, do you? I can't resist those apple pie things."
Molly Hayes subconciously licks her lip at the mention of food. "Um, no not at all. If you get me some food I can pay you back when we get back to the city? I...haven't really eaten in a few days. Nothing substantial, anyways." She sighs and turns towards him, looking for a hin of annoyance. Adults generally show that kind of stuff towards her.
Not a lick of it-- but Coulson's a special breed of adult. "Tell you what. We'll call it payment for keeping me from falling asleep at the wheel. These long trips are really boring alone. Does that sound fair enough?" he asks as he pulls around to the drive-thru.
Molly Hayes blinks at that, looking surprised. It doesn't take her long to nod, though. "Oh, sure! Totally! Twenty piece McNugget meal, large, with a Coke! And an apple pie thing!" She's tiny, but her metabolism is insane. "You're the second cool adult I've met...like...ever. The other one was Ms. Kyle. She gave me twenty bucks."
It's a good thing S.H.I.E.L.D. is paying for this trip. Coulson nods. "High praise," he muses, and turns to relay the order and adds a pie and the largest iced tea(no... plain, please) available. He passes Molly her bag in turn, perpared to turn a total blind eye to manners. A lot about this girl is falling into place, and it's full of sad puppies and plaintive kittens with big eyes.
Molly Hayes allows no manners when presented with real, authentic McNuggets. To a girl her age, from her background, this is straight-up a gourmet meal. She pops open the container, and a Barbecue sauce packet, and begins dipping and devouring. She pauses now and again to sip her Coke, but barely pauses to breath until twenty nuggets are down the hatch. She then lets out a soft sigh and sits back, slowly eating the fries. "High praise indeed. Most have been jerks, villains, or people trying to stuff me in the system."
Phil lets her have her food without attempts at interruption, thoughtfully chewing on apple pie, and thinking about his unexpected companion. Naturally, he can't entirely help but think about it as an Agent, as he is one. But he gets the feeling it would be best to set that aside for now. Mostly. "Well then.. I won't make the attempt without permission. Promise," he offers. "So. How long have you been fighting badguys?" It's a mild risk, but she seems happy enough to talk about it so far.
Molly Hayes blinks at the question and then slaps her forehead. "Ugh, stupid Molly! What the hell are secret identities for?" She scolds herself and shakes her head before glancing back over and shrugging. "Since I was eleven. So...five years now? Started doing it in LA, then worked my way east. Used to have a team, also...but we got seperated four years back. Bad guys attacked our base in the LaBrea Tar Pits en masse and scattered us. Been on the streets since...fighting the good fight..." When she opens up she opens up. "Also, I'm a Mutant. Please don't be a jerk about it."
Agent Coulson offers Molly a quite genuine smile and shakes his head. "Some of my best friends are mutants. Don't worry about it. That's impressive. I didn't start until I was eighteen. But the Army won't let you in younger than that." the best way to make opening up like that less of a big deal is doing some in return, of course.
Molly Hayes chuckles softly and nods. "Ah, you're military! That explains the suit and stuff, but you're not a jerk like the ones I've met. That's good. You even seem like the kinda guy I can trust with my secret identity." She reaches into her backpack and withdraws a domino mask, slipping it onto her face. "I'm Princess Powerful!" She slips it off again and stuffs it away. "I'm super strong, and tough. Beat up the God of Thunder a few weeks ago. He thought I was a bad guy. We worked it out."
Now... Coulson knows Thor. In fact, just days ago he was assulting a HYDRA base with said Asgardian Thunder-slinger. So he can be forgiven if his indulgant smile at the beginning of her speech turns into a slight coughing fit when the last bit of the story makes him choke on his apple pie a little. Nothing a long drink of tea can't fix. "We've met," he finally manages to get out. "That sounds like him."
Molly Hayes arches an eyebrow. "Thor, right? Pretty guy, super tough? Also a flyer? Flyers suck. Hard to hit." She sighs and peers back out the window. "And that hammer totally gave me a lump on my head. You shoulda seen the look on goldilocks face when the hammer didn't knock me flat." She grins widely at that and glances back. "Oh, when we hit the east coast can you frop me at the Themyscran Embassy? Somebody told me I should meet Wonder Woman."
"That's him," Coulson agrees, and then slides back into a bemused sort of expression. Why not. Molly's increasingly sounding like a person he's going to want to have ongoing contact with. "The Ambassador? Sure... I might even be able to help you get in the door. Are you a fan, or just taking Somebody's advice?"
"This girl bought me lunch and told me about her. Her name was..." She bites her lip, as if trying to remember. "Kara! Yeah, Kara. Went on this speech about how young heroes need mentors and stuff. Supergirl as Superman...stuff like that. She said I should meet Wonder Woman cause of that." She considers that and shrugs. "I guess Wonder Girl has a neat ring to it."
Agent Coulson nods thoughtfully as he listens to Molly explain. "She's right," he opines. "I'm a Captain America fan, personally. Joined the Army, just like he did. Though I guess, in the interests of fairness, I should admit I'm actually more like ex-Army at this point. Still, it's good to have some strong examples to follow. Helps you know what to do when you can't figure it out yourself, you know?"
Molly Hayes nods slowly to that, taking it all in. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, I was the youngest in my old team, so I had plenty of people to look up for. They were all a couple of years older then me. Most would be nineteen or twenty by now." She chews on her lip and turns back to look at Coulson. "Our parents were supervillains calling themselves The Pride. They controlled LA...making sure only criminals answering to them worked in town. They were trying to take over the world. We...uh...stopped them."
The urge to patch the car into S.H.I.E.L.D.'s data feeds with this revelation is... very strong. But he doesn't want to spook Molly, and he's fairly certain she's pretty spookable. She's certainly got plenty of reason. "The Pride," he repeats, nodding a little bit. "That must have been really difficult. You're quite the strong young lady to live through something like that." Seriously. Super-villian parents. That's rough. "But you know, there's something really important you get from living through that kind of stuff," he notes, glancing over. "Do you know what that is?"
Molly Hayes considers that and glances over. "Um, is it character? Anytime something bad happens, whether it's mowing the lawn, doing the dishes or growing up with evil parents...adults always say it builds character. So...does it build character?" She reaches up to adjust her cap, finishing off the last of her fries.
Agent Coulson shakes his head. "No, that's what parents say when they want you do do your chores," he replies, eyes back on the road. "You've got conviction. That's what getting through something like this thing with your parents gives you. And that's what keeps you going when it gets really bad. Knowing with everything you've got that you need to do what you're doing because it's the right thing to do. Once you have conviction noone stops you-- even if they drop you. Other people stand with people that have it. It's contagious. Like a superpower you can share with everyone you meet."
The teenager blinks as she hears all of that. It seems to hit deep. She uncrosses her arms and fidgets, glancing out the window and then back again. She pulls her soda from the cup holder and takes a long sip. "That's...a lot better then character. Gaining character sucks." Molly sighs and plucks her hat off to run her fingers through her hair. "I do miss being on a team. Standing with others. A girl offered me a role on the Brotherhood...but being a bully isn't my thing.."
She has plenty of time to let it sink in. Coulson knows when he's delivering a bomb. "It is, isn't it?" he agrees, when she finally speaks, and then listens to the rest. "They're thugs," he says with a frown. "Whatever their excuse is. And you're no thug-- I can tell." He falls slient, weighing options and variables. "A team's important. It's hard going it alone." A pause. "If you'd like, I might be able to help you find one."
Molly Hayes quirks an eyebrow at that, sitting up a bit. "You can find me a team? Really?" She mulls that around in her noggin for a few minutes, finishing off her soda. "What...kinda team?" She watches the man intently, as if trying to read him. Part of her is still very worried that this adult is going to screw her over, and that worry is obvious in her wide, expressive eyes.
Agent Coulson glances over, thoughtfully, and takes off his sunglasses, with occassional glances at the road. Fortunately, if there's one thing Coulson can manage, it's sincerity. Especially when he means it. "Okay. You've told me a lot of secret stuff. Probably more than you really wanted to. I think I should tell you a little, too. That seems fair." He reaches into his jacket, offers her a simple white business card, with contact information on it. "My name's Phil, just like I've said. Phil Coulson. I told you I'm more like ex-Army, and that's all true. I work for a group called S.H.I.E.L.D. We protect people from badguys, just like you do. Sometimes we work with people like you to do it. What I'm not interested in is sticking mutants in prisons or sending young women into foster care or whatever. I can't make any promises, but if you're serious about working on a team I think I can try to help you make it happen." There's a pause, and a quirky grin. "Don't tell anyone, because I will get in *so* much trouble." Which is true enough, depending on who was told.
Molly Hayes quietly takes the card. She reads the front and flips it over and back again. She flicks the side a few times as she listens to all the information pouring out of the agent. "S.H.I.E.L.D., huh?" She brushes her fingers through her hair again before reapplying her cap. "Alright, Phil...I'm in if you're serious. But the second I get pushed around for being a Mutant, or I get shoved in a foster home...I'm out. I'm in to fight bad guys."
Agent Coulson listens, nods, and slips his sunglasses back on, and after a moment's thought, raises his left arm across to offer the knuckles. Molly's a street kid, she'll recognize it, right? "That's fair."Molly Hayes finds the idea of Coulson offering the knuckles pretty funny. It breaks the awkwardness and she flashes a very contagious grin. She bumps his knuckles with her own. "Okay, I'm in. Really. So...fill me in, Phil! What kinda team are we talking about?"
Agent Coulson grins, and takes his hand back to scratch at his temple. "I didn't have a specific thought in mind... of course, if you have favorites, we could put out feelers, see what they think. It'll be easier to put together a plan once we're back east." He is, of course, working out a mental list of people he may have to try and talk to.
Molly Hayes nods a bit and peers down at her Spider-Man shirt. "You don't have Spider-Man on a team, do you?" She considers, tapping her chin. "Dunno who else. I guess Iron Man is cool, but I could totally tear that suit offa him." She hrms, glancing over. "I guess I'll just meet people you know and work it out from there!"
Agent Coulson smiles to himself a bit. "I think we might be able to work with that," he agrees mildly. This was either going to be very entertaining or the biggest headache he'd had all year. It was always hard to tell with heroes, and Molly was definitely one of that breed.
Molly Hayes considers, peering ahead through the desert at a huge boulder just off the side of the road. "You need to know what I can do if you're gonna find a team to fit. Pull over." She grins and cracks her knuckles. "Warning, though...after I tantrum up I get super sleepy. You're gonna have a quiet ride for a few hours." She glances over, a wide, wicked grin on her face.
Agent Coulson looks a little surprised, but wonders if he should be. She's what, 16? Doesn't seem that shy once she's comfortable, either. He nods and pulls off the road. Once out of the car, he pulls out his phone. "Mind if I catch some video? No Facebooking, promise." he seems willing to skip it, though.
Molly Hayes slips from the car and nods. "Sure. Oh!" She reaches into her backpack and withdraws her domino mask, slipping it on and pulling off her cute hat. "Okay, costumed up." She strolls away from the car, cracking her neck as her eyes begin to spark with crackling pink energy. She takes a deep breath and the energy flows freely, surrounding her eyes. The boulder is enormous, made of hard stone, and laying beside several smaller boulders (Only several hundred pounds a piece). She lets out a cry and swings a tiny fist, connecting with the enormous boulder. There's a loud CRACK as the boulder shatters with ease, sending rubble flying everywhere away from her. She whirls about with a trained kick, catching a smaller rock, which explodes into nothing but dust. She reaches down and hefts up one of the several hundred pound rocks with one hand and turns, lobbing it into the sky. It vanishes into the distance.
Agent Coulson stands at a safe distance, jacket and tie blowing in the wind, phone held up to capture the action. He pans when she throws the rocks, to get a decent judge of the distance involved, and makes sure she's finished before he re-pockets the device and strolls over, whistling lowly. "You really weren't kidding about scuffling with Thor, were you?" Might not have minded having her on the HYDRA island assault. Color him impressed.
Molly Hayes laughs softly and turns back. "Not at all! Your an agent type, right? That means you have a gun. Open up on me." She slips her hoodie off and tosses it aside, leaving her in the Spider-Man shirt and her jean shorts. "Seriously, dude, aim to kill." Her eyes crackle and spark, and she grins widely. "Get this on tape, too! It can go in my...file or whatever."
To Coulson's credit, he doesn't even blink at the suggestion. He is really seriously an agent-- this isn't even that weird. He pulls the sidearm out of his jacket, racking a round into the chamber. He brings up the phone again, tapping the video capture back on, and holds it up, firing hand braced over the arm for better aim. The grouping is excellent-- two rounds each impact against Molly's shoulders, chest and forehead, in that order. Though the slight pause between shoulder and chest indicates he did at least want to make sure she could take them before committing.
Molly Hayes doesn't flinch at the rapport of the handgun, nor does she budge when the bullets strike her. She doesn't move a centimeter as each strikes the exact target he was going for. Cloth tears, of course, and she frowns at herself as several holes are torn in her Spidey shirt, revealing the material of a sports bra beneath. The bullet to her forehead mushrooms and falls away. The energy crackles as she grins and splays her arms out. "Ta-dah!"
Agent Coulson 's expression is something along the lines of 'okay, yeah, that was pretty cool' as he tucks the gun and the phone away. "Bet that comes in handy, he notes, and heads for the trunk of the car. Shich turns out to be him digging out a shirt. It's big for her, of course, but he's not the sort of person who shoots holes in a girl's shirt and doesn't offer a replacement. "I don't have a Spidey," he notes apologetically. "But if you'll make do with a Cap, I bet we can find one on the way."
Molly Hayes looks proud as punch that Coulson seems impressed with her abilities. She puts her small fists on her hips in a pseudo-Superman pose and grins as wide as the Cheshire cat. "Totally! Tank shells bounce off me! I'm hella awesome." She pauses and lowers her hands. "What? People still say hella." She frowns and makes her way over, shrugging. "Cap is cool, sure. Shield and all." SHe reaches out for the shirt and ducks behind the car, switching out her well fitting Spidey shirt with the large Captain one. SHe comes back around, looking like she's wearing her daddies shirt. "Fits perfectly!" Her eyes twinkle a bit and the pink begins to fade. She raises a hand to her mouth to catch a small yawn.
Agent Coulson gets the trunk closed, giving her a thumbs up. And then pauses, and goes to get her door. She wasn't kidding about the exhaustion. "How long are you usually out afterward?" he asks, as he helps her back into the car.
Molly Hayes does a quick esimation, chewing her lip as the pink continues to fade. "...let's see. Um...three boulders...plus bullets...carry the two...divide by pi..." She shrugs, offering a very tired grin. "Anywhere from an hour to twenty four. Probably like...five to six for this." This yawn is much, much wider.
Agent Coulson nods, swings back around the car, and settles in himself. "I think I can manage. Go ahead and get some sleep." He adjusts the music, picking something a little more conducive to napping-- a light classical nocturne-- and pulls the car back on the road.
Molly Hayes climbs back into the car and peels her domino mask off. She stuffs it away. She manages to get her seat belt on before she is out cold. Her head lols to the side, her mouth slightly open as she lightly snores. And yes, Molly is a drooler.
Agent Coulson lets Molly get... okay, she doesn't really settle so much as pass out. Still. Once she sounds pretty lights-out and he's confident he won't disturb her, he puts in his earpiece and clicks the button to connect his phone. "It's Coulson. Funny thing happened on my way back to New York..."
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