SpongeBob Meets the Strangler but SpongeBob actually gets strangled

An episode of SpongeBob SquarePants But it's something different every episode
* SpongeBob: [standing in front of the punch clock, waiting for it to reach 8:00] Wait for it... [SpongeBob gets impatient. The second hand stops a second before 8:00, shocking SpongeBob. The second hand then touches 12, becoming 8:00. SpongeBob happily punches in then jumps in the air. The scene pauses him in mid-air]
* Automated Voice: On Time Percentage: 100%. [the scene starts again. Squidward walks up to the time clock]
* Squidward: Another day, another migraine. [punches in] Heh, heh, mi... [scene pauses again]
* Automated voice: On Time Percentage: 12%. [the screen un-pauses]
* Squidward: ...graine. Heh, heh, heh.
* SpongeBob: Ahh, isn't it great working at the Krusty Krab, Squidward? Huh? Isn't it? Working here?
* Squidward: Yeah, great.
* SpongeBob: Yeah.
* Squidward: Yeah.
* SpongeBob: Aww, yeah.
* Squidward: [getting annoyed] Yes!
* SpongeBob: Hold that thought, Squidward. I'm doing the parking lot for early morning litter patrol. May Neptune shine brightly on my harvest. [laughs. SpongeBob walks out with a bag and a long, pointy tool] Litter. [picks up trash] Looks like someone missed the trash basket, huh, Mr. Candy Wrapper? [laughs] Kids these days. [another piece of trash falls to the ground next to him. He gasps and he picks up the trash] I've never seen such an epidemic! Well, at least it's all over now. [more trash keeps falling to the ground around him and he picks them up quickly. He breathes, exhausted, as one more piece of litter falls down attached to a parachute. He gets infuriated] Where is all this litter coming from?! [SpongeBob notices someone tossing trash out of a car. SpongeBob's eyes turn to a crumpled paper falling to the ground] Not on my watch. [walks up to the car] Sir, I will have you know it's against the law to litter. 
* Strangler: Heh, what're you gonna do, call the police? [police arrive]
* SpongeBob: Yes. [police begin to handcuff the Strangler. They walk past him in single-file and continue cuffing him]
* Squidward: How's it going, Lieutenant?
* SpongeBob: Well, let's just say I hope our litterbug there saved room for his just desserts. [laughs] Yeah, just desserts.
* Squidward: Whatever. Huh? [notices the Strangler] SpongeBob, don't you know who that is?
* SpongeBob: Who?
* Squidward: That's the Tattletale Strangler.
* SpongeBob: Who?
* Squidward: The Tattletale Strangler! [shows SpongeBob a "WANTED" poster of the Strangler] He's promised to strangle anyone who turns him in! [Strangler growls. SpongeBob and Squidward are scared]
* SpongeBob: He seems kind of angry with us, eh, Squidward? [Squidward's gone] Squidward? Squidward?
* Officer Johnson: You're gonna do time, Strangler. Hard time. [SpongeBob walks up to the police]
* SpongeBob: Hi, officers. So, he's going to jail, right?
* Officer Nancy: Who, Strangler?
* SpongeBob: Yeah, Strangler.
* Officer Nancy: Oh, yeah, he's going to jail for a long time. [Strangler draws on the back of the driver's seat headrest, and flips it to reveal an exact likeness of SpongeBob's face]
* SpongeBob: Hey, that looks like me! [Strangler growls and attacks the headrest, "killing" the SpongeBob drawing, and chuckles evilly. SpongeBob screams]
* Officer Nancy: Don't worry, SpongeBob. He won't be able to strangle you.
* Officer Johnson: Yeah. We got him chained up real good. He'll never get away.
* Officer Nancy: Oops, not again. [Strangler is gone, with his handcuffs in his place in the car]
* Officer Johnson: Yep, he got away. [SpongeBob screams then falls over]
* SpongeBob: You nice officers will protect me, right?
* Officer Nancy: We ain't bodyguards, kid.
* Officer Johnson: Yeah, give us a call if you see him again... tattletale. [they drive off, leaving dust that makes SpongeBob cough]
* SpongeBob: Those officers are right. I need a bodyguard! [runs into the Krusty Krab] Mr. Krabs! There's a maniac after me! I need a bodyguard!
* Mr. Krabs: [laughs] I wasn't five-time 'Golden Claws' in the navy for nothin'. When he sees me moves, he'll be running scared. So, where is this little bully? Down at the park? The sodey shop? What does he look like, eh, boy? 
* SpongeBob: This would be him, Mr. Krabs. [takes out the wanted poster of The Strangler]
* Mr. Krabs: [gasps in fear] The Tattletale Strangler?! [his appendages go into his body] Go away, SpongeBob! Take your death cloud with you! [scene cuts to SpongeBob showing the wanted poster to people. Shows it to Larry, who turns into a real lobster on a plate, then a construction worker who pogos off on his jackhammer, and some guys at the Tough Tavern who run off, some screaming "HOLD ME! HOLD ME!", leaving SpongeBob distraught]
* SpongeBob: [at the bus stop] Ugh, that's it. I gotta get out of town 'til I can find a bodyguard. [Strangler sits on a bench reading a newspaper]
* Strangler: Bodyguard, huh? I might be able to help you out. [SpongeBob walks over]
* SpongeBob: You don't understand, mister. I need protection from the scariest guy in town. Here's his picture. [holds up the wanted poster. The Strangler reveals himself wearing a fake mustache]
* Strangler: Heh heh, he doesn't look so tough.
* SpongeBob: I tattled on him, and now he wants to strangle me with his diabolical hands! I hope they're not dirty. [Strangler shows his filthy hands and laughs. Before the Strangler starts to strangle SpongeBob, a bus stops next to them and the Strangler puts his hands behind his back and smiles, as the bus drives off]
* Strangler: Huh? Uh-oh. Uh, there's too many witnesses around here. [walks up to SpongeBob] Listen, kid. I could be your bodyguard. Here's my card. [Shows SpongeBob his drawn-over fake ID card]
* SpongeBob: Hmm, looks good to me. You're hired! I feel safer already. What's next? [a five cent sticker is hanging from the Strangler's fake mustache]
* Strangler: Well, the maniac could be anywhere, wearing a disguise. He could be that old man. [he points to an old man with a walker] Or that baby. [points to a baby in a stroller]
* SpongeBob: Or that pebble. [points to a small rock on the ground] Or that stick. [points to a stick on the ground] Or that receipt for the Phony Baloney Mustache Emporium. [points to a white piece of paper]
* Strangler: Huh? Uhh, that's mine. [picks it up and puts it in his pocket]
* SpongeBob: Oh, bodyguard, my body is in your guarding hands. What do we do first?
* Strangler: Well, I suggest we go to a nice, quiet, secluded location, uh, like behind an old dumpster or a dark alley...
* SpongeBob: We could go to my house and turn off all the lights!
* Strangler: Perfect. That way no one can hear you being strangled... err, I mean, uhh, protected. [laughs as the lights grow dim] Perfect. [laughs]
* SpongeBob: Yes, excellent. [laughs with the Strangler until the lights turn on again] Ah, but first, I gotta do a few errands.
* Strangler: Uhh, okay, but let's make it quick.
* SpongeBob: Quick is my middle name. [scene cuts to the grocery store] Let's see...paper towels. This one says "best paper towel around," this one says "best paper towel in town." Hmm... in town... around... in town... around... what do you think, bodyguard?
* Strangler: Whatever gets us to your house quicker.
* SpongeBob: I'll take both! [scene cuts to 'Dry Cleaning While-U-Wait']
* Dry Cleaner: Here you go, Mr. SquarePants. [he hands him his clothes]
* SpongeBob: Hmm.
* Dry Cleaner: Is there something wrong?
* SpongeBob: I'm not sure if these are my pants. [Strangler groans. Scene cuts to the perfume store where SpongeBob sprays some perfume on his wrist and holds it up to the Strangler] How about this one, bodyguard? Too overbearing?''''
* Strangler: Can we just go to your house?! [scene cuts to SpongeBob's house]
* SpongeBob: Here we are. SquarePants Manor. Bodyguard, let me just take this opportunity to say you're the best bodyguard a fella could hope to have.
* Strangler: All right, enough of the sappy talk! Open the door so I can strangle you... I mean, uhh, choke you... I mean, uhh, crush your windpipe... gah, I mean...
* SpongeBob: Protect me?
* Strangler: Thanks.
* SpongeBob: Don't mention it, Strangler. [gasps] I mean, bodyguard. Now where'd I put my key? [searches his pocket for the key as the Strangler gets angry]
* Narrator: Twenty minutes later... [SpongeBob is still searching for his key. The Strangler gets even more angry]
* SpongeBob: Well, I can't find 'em. You wanna take a look?
* Strangler: Oh, forget the key! Let's climb through this window. [struggles reaching for the window] I can't reach it. Do you think you could hop up on my shoulders, kid? [SpongeBob is wearing cleats]
* SpongeBob: Sure. With these spiky cleats, anything is possible. [jumps onto the Strangler] Ya.
* Strangler: Cleats?! [SpongeBob's feet land on the Strangler's eyeballs. The Strangler screams in pain] Get your feet out of my eye sockets! [SpongeBob starts tugging at his legs]
* SpongeBob: I'm trying, but my cleats are stuck in your corneas! [Strangler runs around in pain]
* Narrator: Six hours later... [Strangler is still running around until he pulls SpongeBob's feet out of his eyes. Scene cuts to the Strangler with bandages on his eyes]
* SpongeBob: Don't be mad, bodyguard. Let me just grab the key I keep under the mat and we can get inside. [The Strangler's eyes open widely. The Strangler growls in anger and a nuclear explosion comes out of his head] There you are, you little rascal. Now, to put the key in the lock, which should activate the tumblers, thus opening the door. [Strangler sneaks up behind SpongeBob ready to strangle him. SpongeBob opens the door and walks in] Step inside...
* Strangler: [closes the door] Close the door...
* SpongeBob: Well, here we are.
* Strangler: I've finally got you all alone! [laughs evilly]
* SpongeBob: I know, isn't it great? [laughs. Strangler picks up SpongeBob] Ooh.
* Strangler: Now, you're gonna get yours... tattletale! [He starts strangling SpongeBob's neck]
* SpongeBob: Ack, ackeccjekkejn4rueje3owednji!!! [more gibberish]
* Strangler: [laughing]
* [SpongeBob drops to the floor, dead, and the episode ends]
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