A Tale of Two Faeces

"A Tale of Two Faeces" is a song by This Is Serious Mum (TISM), originally featured on the unreleased demo tape It's Novel! It's Unique! It's Shithouse!, recorded between September and October 1983. The song was released in 1995, as a hidden track on the first disc of the four CD box set Collected Recordings 1986-1993. 
The version that appears on Collected Recordings is sung by Humphrey B. Flaubert; a shorter version, sung by Ron Hitler-Barassi and consisting of only the last verse, appears on A Collection of Bedroom Recordings 1982-1992, the bonus disc included with the special edition of the 2002 compilation album Best Off. 
==Lyrics== 
One day fine, passing by, along the same sewage line, two little fæces met. Said the first, as they moved towards their destination, "How do you poo?" Replied the second, with no further ado, "I'm well, thank poo. Wearing dark brown today, but pardon if I say, you look in bad shape." 
:Knocking on the toilet door
:Knocking on the toilet door
:Knocking on the toilet door
:Knocking on the toilet door
"Yes", replied the first. "My boss ate liverwurst. And it's been hard holding things together." And so on they conversed, sport, politics and the weather, while all the time avoiding topics of the end. 
:Knocking on the toilet door
:Knocking on the toilet door
:Knocking on the toilet door
:Knocking on the toilet door
The final stop a few minutes away, the two faeces now with little left to say, pondered on their own thoughts. The kids and the wife, their own brief life, all but a flash in the pan. 
:They hit the wire grill, like cattle to the slaughter!
:Sieved, evaporated AND distilled, transformed back into water!
== External links and references ==
* The TISM Wiki at archive.org
* Collected Recordings 1986-1983 at Discogs
Category:Songs
Category:TISM songs
Category:It's Novel! It's Unique! It's Shithouse!
Category:Collected Recordings 1986–1993
Category:Best Off
Category:Pages imported from The TISM Wiki