LLR Observer 9

Lads and ladies, I am Gabe Seltzer (BAYBAY) and it’s been another eventful week in LLR. Lots of things to discuss post No Mercy last Sunday and the biggest takeaway has to be the end of u/LMonkA7X’s mammoth title reign at the hands of u/TheCivilizedGamer. But wait, there’s so much more. So without further ado,
THIS WEEK IN LLR
* u/IM_A_ONE_MAN_BANNED (he’s back) is a silly man. The former Undisputed Champion ranted after No Mercy that he deserves a title shot even though he didn’t participate in the LLR Match. Last week, it was u/Steve_Chandler_, this week, it’s OMB who fails the IQ test.
* u/senorMeekmahan and u/TheUltimateMark’s match ended in a tie when u/InsaneIcon kidnapped Meekmahan. In a strange culmination of events, Mark saved his tortured brother and turned face. Meekmahan still died from poisoning by Icon in the Temple of Jashin. Dramatic.
* u/TheCivilizedGamer announced that he will bide his time in announcing which title he’ll go for after he won the LLR Match at No Mercy. This seems like the beginning of the Era of the Gamer.
* u/VacantForHOF, the #2 in LLR20, returned and demanded a match with u/LMonkA7X. Sadly for Vacant, Monk announced he’s activating Option J and will be in the Undisputed Title match at Hell In A Cell.
* In an odd turn of event, u/the_gift_of_g2j, after losing to u/InsaneIcon challenged u/IamtheP1 to a match, calling himself LLR’s John Cena. Yes, Bray Wyatt lost, P1.
* The first ever LLR Hall of Fame occurred with much pomp. Vicious and Delicious inducted The Wild Stallions. u/the_gift_of_g2j inducted u/TheFalconArrow, while Falcon himself inducted u/TheDezoo and OMB inducted u/King-Of-Zing. Look what they’ve accomplished and that’s what ya kids gotta do to make it.
* u/GryffindorTom’s set of Cooking with Tom was ravaged in a vicious attack. Who done it?
* In typical LLR fashion, the Police’s u/MrFreakJuice was attacked by a mysterious attacker too. Who done it II?
* u/god_of_havoc was shot dead by a shot from u/YourbuddyChurch. It turns out, Havoc was an alt. He has disappointed me so much.
* u/TheUltimateMark cut another top class promo and I don’t know why but this guy is not to be overlooked. He’s hot property and needs to move up the card. Fast.
* NXP began under the management of u/LMonkA7X and a lot of veterans joined in with a lot of rookies as their pros to guide them to the ultimate prize. An Undisputed Championship shot. The pairing go as such, u/Ontheropes619 with u/AuremVocem, G2J with u/ElDaboWHC, u/SlowbroJJ with u/ElPrimo_Smash, u/TheHandsomeJosh with u/MrFreakJuice, u/YourbuddyChurchwith u/thegamerwhohelps, how you doin, OMB with u/Mig362, u/InsaneIcon with u/NuclearBaseball, u/Simashi with u/PhenomenalInferno, u/TheFalconArrow with u/LLRSwagMaster69Weed, u/LMonkA7X with u/-_-TheLaw-_-, u/VacantForHOF with u/xXCraftySOBXx and u/Immathrodis with...me. Um, I know. I’m 57. But I’m just having fun, maggles.
* u/ThePruef was just your everyday wrestling workhorse having his daily dose at Samoa Joe’s Diner. But a mysterious man smoking cigarrettes and single screaming lady later, he’s got a story to tell. Who was the men left yelping in pain? Who was the lady? Who was the smoking man listening to the radio? Stay tuned for the next episode of Pruef Bar Z.
* OMB has announced LLR a no fun zone, shooting on gimmicks and being a dad. He must be great at parties. : P
* Of course OMB fun at parties. He had some high IQ company too. The Smartest Man In LLR, u/Steve_Chandler_, sick of being called a jobber, along with LLR’s resident superhero, u/hydraloonie, u/stevethesamura, u/CaptainConundrum54, u/TDKBatemane. They beat OMB up and Chandler, their leader apparently announced that they’re sick of being forgotten. They are the ‘NextGeneration’. I’m knocking 5 stars off your IQ points Chandler. Sorry mate but you keep doing this. Do you know who Conundrum is? He won his first LLR Match at No Mercy. 2016. Second at Battleground 2017. He’s one of the only few men to win 2 LLR matches. He’s one of the oldest veterans. He’s not NextGen. Same goes for Loonie. ‘Smartest Man in LLR’ right there.
* u/hydraloonie had tons of superhero adventures. As I said in the last Observer, all you gotta do is dial 1800-LOONIE and you’ll have a superhero delivered right at your doorsteps. It’s simple really!
* u/Simashi is a sellout. His entire career has been sponsored by the NPA as he revealed to u/Immathrodis and u/TheCivilizedGamer. This is looking like dangerous revelation, if we go by Simashi’s threat of a change coming. If I had to pin my money on the best weekly episodic show in LLR, it’s Throdis-Man (my coach!) and Gameboy. Oh, umm, why did I just get a mail saying I’m in for trouble. Sender is...NPA?! Oh no…
* Church has many alts here. In fact, I am one of them. Watch me post this message on another alt. Nuff said.
* u/InsaneIcon was enjoying his day, talking about being undefeated for 11 straight singles matches before u/delois_oraclearrived and handed his ass to him. This feud is going to be iconic.
* A drunk u/GryffindorTommy messaged u/Immathrodis that he’d do anything to get a match on Raw against three jobbers. Alcohol is bad, Tom.
* Yenee Roung, who is NOT Frieza, interviewed the newly revived Hironationrockz Army of Pruef and Hironation himself. Read the interview and know what’s going on in the minds of these two men.
* Throdis Man and Gameboy continued after the HOF ceremony. NPA attacked and left an HOF ring. Now, there was Dezoo. There was Throdis. There was the Kliq. Everyone but FalconArrow. Unsurprisingly, a HOF ring was spotted lying at the site of attack. The credit for this scoop goes to the vigilante Hall Of Famer, u/King-Of-Zing.
* u/RyRyLloyd, the World Cup winner is back. With a bang? Can’t say. In meta? Expected.
* All u/MrFreakJuice wanted was to spend time with his fellow cop, u/TheHandsomeJosh. Josh invited u/Immathrodis and u/LMonkA7X to Sushi dinner. Freak freaked out and Throdis announced he is officially not gay. With the revelation of his sexuality aside, Throdis and Freak will settle the matter inside a ring.
* u/delois_oracle revealed the origins of Shriramrishi/InsaneIcon and her relationship with him. Icon was just a common mad rambler until he met with delois. There’s more to come. No word from Icon though. But, we now know that u/delois_oracle and u/King-Of-Zing are officially the Iconic Duo of LLR. Oi oi oi!
* u/ElDaboWHC challenged u/Ontheropes619 to a punk rock match. It’s basically an Extreme Rules match for all ya peasants. The structure is like a buffed up version of the Ambrose Asylum with the cage having barbed wires, electrical ropes, hardwood base instead of ring mat and laden with chairs etc. Gory stuff.
* u/TheStormForce debuted. Made one sentence. Whaddya expect me to say? One sentence. I said it last week and will say it again. This trend is annoying.
* The Remnant, in a shock turn of event, included the P1s United (u/danchester_united and u/IamtheP1) into their stable, labelling them as the next Wild Stallions. Poor u/El_Primo_Smash was labelled ‘poor company’ and was on the receiving end of a superkick. RIP The Light.
* Cooking With Tom continued. I can’t explain it. Please watch it. Just know that it’s u/PredictionCulture Vs u/YourbuddyChurchin semifinal leg 1 and u/hydraloonie and u/TheBulletwithaName in semifinal leg 2 of it.
Inside Scoops:
* As I announced on Twitter, I had found the ICP’s owner and was set to get the secret of u/GryffindorTom. But ICP owner has been found dead… Tommy, I knew you did it. You sunovabitch, killing my source. I’ll get you for this. Oh, I’m so sorry about this my readers. I’ve been losing my professional attitude a lot lately.
* The attacker of u/MrFreakJuice is one of three people. u/FakeNewsBarrett, u/Immathrodis and u/Coolscorpion. My source is very very close to the situation and while FakeNews (RIP) sounds preposterous, the other two don’t. Whenever it happens, just know it folks that you heard it first from Gabe.
* The Hurricane Irma has caused havoc in the relevant Bahamas, ruining u/desuroku’s party as well as u/VacantForHOF’s vacation. Vacant’s family and the man himself had to leave the archipelagic state in a rush to avoid any casualties and this is why he returned early. u/RyRyLloyd was planning to go fishing there too but didn’t after hearing the weather updates. u/King-Of-Zing should go there cautiously. The famous spot for LLR vacation isn’t looking feasible as of now.
Young Lions to watch out for
* Me : P
* PhenomenalInferno
Match of the week: u/King-Of-Zing Vs u/We_Are_Collective and u/InsaneIcon Vs u/the_gift_of_g2j- 4.25 stars
Segment of the week: u/TheUltimateMark’s ‘My Senor’ series and Throdis-Man and Gameboy 6.
Category:Observer