Conspiracy Wiki

== Welcome to the Conspiracy Wiki ==
Have you ever noticed that everyone seems to be Conspiring against you? If not, don't worry — we have, and we're here to help you wake up and realize that there are lies all around you. The Conspiracy Wiki was the first wiki to unveil the grand conspiracy that <choose>
<option>the government is</option>
<option>the president is</option>
<option>the houses of parliament are</option>
<option>your grandmother is</option>
<option>Peter Pan is</option>
<option>conspiracy theorists are</option>
<option>my best friend John is</option>
<option>the Google Maps developers are</option>
<option>your landlord is</option>
<option>Spanish teachers are</option>
<option>some nerd is</option>
<option>bitcoin supporters are</option>
<option>a group of intelligent dik-diks are</option>
<option>free-software developers are</option>
<option>"social" justice warriors are</option>
<option>Tumblr users are</option>
<option>the Loch Ness monster is</option>
<option>games journalists are</option>
<option>everyone but you are</option>
<option>Windows XP is</option>
<option>the admins on this wiki are</option>
<option>heavy metal musicians are</option>
<option>Americans are</option>
<option>God is</option>
<option>George Lucas is</option>
<option>Shrek is</option>
<option>Wikia is</option>
<option>walruses are not</option>
<option>your mother is</option>
<option>we are</option>
<option>normal people like you are</option>
<option>gay people are</option>
<option>the creepy neighbor is</option>
<option>occasionally garden gnomes aren't</option>
<option>Chuck Norris is</option>
<option>the water company is</option>
<option>Mr T. is not</option>
<option>curtains are</option>
<option>the national debt is</option>
<option>Glenn Beck is</option>
<option>News International is</option>
<option>scientists are</option>
<option>Wikipedia is</option>
<option>sactage is</option>
<option>the internet is</option>
<option>EA Games is</option>
<option>your computer is</option>
<option>the Seven Dwarves are not</option>
<option>the monsters under your bed are</option>
<option>John F. Kennedy is</option>
<option>Space is</option>
<option>Random Number Generators are</option>
<option>You are</option>
<option>Time Magazine is</option>
<option>what You know as is</option>
<option>your family actually is</option>
<option>Conan O'Brien is</option>
<option>The media is</option>
<option>Microsoft is</option>
</choose> <choose>
<option>Sactage</option>
<option>producing counterfeit Magic cards</option>
<option>evil</option>
<option>actually one of the nicest things I've ever seen</option>
<option>preparing to sue you</option>
<option>liberal</option>
<option>a liberal scheme</option>
<option>conservative</option>
<option>planning to kill anyone with political views</option>
<option>planning to kill anyone without political views</option>
<option>a conservative plot</option>
<option>stating opinions as facts</option>
<option>playing the flute at international events</option>
<option>not returning our calls</option>
<option>the real victim in the financial crisis</option>
<option>the real cause of the financial crisis</option>
<option>stealing your water</option>
<option>plotting to kill Peter Frampton</option>
<option>writing songs for Rebecca Black</option>
<option>in the mafia</option>
<option>senile</option>
<option>working for a Russian Spy agency</option>
<option>zombies</option>
<option>actually two midgets in a dinosaur suit</option>
<option>really Justin Beiber</option>
<option>hiding all the good music</option>
<option>killing faries</option>
<option>murdering children in an underground base</option>
<option>writing fake conspiracy theories on a wiki</option>
<option>in secret talks with the president</option>
<option>really Santa in disguise</option>
<option>planning to destroy freedom as you know it</option>
<option>firing rockets at the moon</option>
<option>changing your opinion</option>
<option>rigging the lottery</option>
<option>not American</option>
<option>actually American</option>
<option>the antagonist of a video game</option>
<option>giving out free business cards</option>
<option>telling the truth</option>
<option>lying to get drugs from old ladies</option>
<option>going to move to Sweeden</option>
<option>the Prime Minister of Iceland</option>
<option>eating fish</option>
<option>doing my maths homework</option>
<option>beating up a homeless guy to get his wallet</option>
<option>putting eggs in a fridge</option>
<option>withdrawing money from your bank account</option>
<option>rolling dice to create alternative universes</option>
<option>making tough moral choices in space</option>
<option>jaywalking</option>
<option>killing puppies</option>
<option>plotting world domination</option>
</choose>. You must be shocked, I'm sure. I certainly was. But that's not the end of it. You see, this is just the first stage in the master plan of a group of shadowy <choose><option>government officials</option>
<option>hackers</option>
<option>white nationalists</option>
<option>wiki editors</option>
<option>freemasons</option>
<option>imprisonedmasons</option>
<option>butchers, bakers and candlestick makers</option>
<option>farmers</option>
<option>railway operators</option>
<option>superheroes</option>
<option>people with sensitive teeth</option>
<option>Twilight fans</option>
<option>engineers</option>
<option>elite ninjas</option>
<option>society of your evil boyfriends</option>
<option>fans of Naruto</option>
<option>fans of Bleach</option>
<option>fans of Mermaid Melody</option>
<option>software engineers</option>
<option>robots</option>
<option>haberdashers</option>
<option>unlicensed doctors</option>
<option>steam machines</option>
<option>mobile phones</option>
<option>evil British people</option>
<option>shadows</option>
<option>nurses</option>
<option>italian plumbers</option>
<option>dead undertakers</option>
<option>robotic advanced lifeforms</option>
<option>emotionless super-chimps</option>
<option>hippies</option>
<option>Libertarians</option>
<option>Liberals</option>
<option>Conservatives</option>
<option>Progressives</option>
<option>Regressives</option>
<option>heavy metal musicians</option>
<option>devil worshipers</option>
<option>Muslims</option>
<option>Christians</option>
<option>music industry executives</option>
<option>lizards</option>
<option>homeless people</option>
<option>n00bs</option>
<option>anonymous users' sockpuppets</option>
<option>|_337 5P34|<RZ</option>
<option>contractors</option>
<option>cowboys and aliens</option>
<option>actors who have played James Bond</option>
<option>crew members of the USS Enterprise</option>
<option>teenage mutant ninja turtles</option>
<option>Pokémon</option>
<option>card game players</option>
<option>social workers</option>
<option>unemployed people</option>
<option>button manufacturers</option>
<option>women</option>
<option>men</option>
<option>racists</option>
<option>feminists</option>
<option>meninists</option>
<option>completely ordinary people</option>
<option>undertale fans</option>
<option>Kings and Queens</option>
<option>Wikia admins</option>
<option>computers</option>
<option>reactionary politicians</option>
<option>fans of Ayn Rand</option>
<option>clones of the Queen of England</option>
<option>LGBT activists</option>
<option>walruses</option>
<option>Scientologists</option>
<option>lesbians</option>
<option>GameFAQs users</option>
<option>Men's Rights Activists</option>
<option>astronauts</option>
</choose> who have decided that, because they have <choose><option>too much money</option>
<option>not enough power</option>
<option>not enough drugs</option>
<option>watched Firefly</option>
<option>listened to the Spice Girls</option>
<option>all the gold in the world</option>
<option>discovered the secret to flight</option>
<option>got into a room that you can't access</option>
<option>done their homework</option>
<option>murdered an AI</option>
<option>a crush on you</option>
<option>your mobile phone number</option>
<option>the power to ban your reddit account from r/towels</option>
<option>too much free time</option>
<option>recovered the Arrow of Apollo</option>
<option>a bitcoin</option>
<option>Tom Cruise on their side</option
<option>been around the world, from London to LA</option>
<option>learnt Italian</option>
<option>an interest-free loan</option>
<option>a clean bill of health</option>
<option>lost their keys</option>
<option>terminal cancer</option>
<option>[THIS STATEMENT REDACTED BY THE US GOVERNMENT -- DO NOT PANIC -- THE AGENTS SURROUNDING YOUR HOUSE ARE JUST A PRECAUTION]</option>
<option>a vaccinate that will cure cows of flu</option>
<option>a gun pointed at your head</option>
<option>no bugs in their 10000 line computer program</option>
<option>a bad feeling about this</option>
<option>final exams tomorrow</option>
<option>16 years left to live</option>
<option>a bowl of coco pops</option>
<option>a really big house in the country</option>
<option>taken control of the Kremlin</option>
<option>a stolen prototype of Half Life 3</option>
<option>been to an anime convention</option>
<option>discovered the secret to manipulating the weather</option>
<option>a way to make free energy</option>
<option>abandoned the gold standard</option>
<option>returned to Mount Zion</option>
<option>summoned a great demon</option>
<option>written a bestseller</option>
<option>resurrected Richard Nixon</option>
<option>spoken to the president in secret</option>
<option>been to Japan</option>
<option>run out of walrus jokes</option>
<option>lived in Russia all their life</option>
<option>no love for the American people</option>
<option>a misguided sense of loyalty to the communist party</option>
<option>your vote already</option>
<option>hot chocolate</option>
<option>control of the oil supply</option>
<option>coffee</option>
<option>to get to the top of Witch Mountain by midnight</option>
<option>a $5 Foot Long</option>
<option>6 of the 7 Horcruxes</option>
<option>defeated Morgoth's Balrog</option>
<option>driven away the English army</option>
<option>found your MySpace page</option>
<option>found a Shiny Mew on Pokémon</option>
<option>offsite backups</option>
<option>been up all night to get lucky</option>
<option>deadlines</option>
<option>ownership of the means of production</option>
<option>an orchestra made out of wax models of famous musicians</option>
<option>some water</option>
<option>a presidential candidate's phone number</option>
<option>started calling wikis Wikias</option>
<option>invented their own language</option>
<option>made enough walrus jokes on the homepage of a website</option>
<option>a really bad idea</option>
<option>a two dollar bill</option>
<option>64.9 gallons of concentrated maple syrup</option>
<option>a spacecraft made out of dinosaur bones</option>
<option>admin rights on an obscure wiki</option>
<option>chat hacks</option>
<option>a NeoPets account</option>
<option>tissue paper</option>
<option>a golf cart</option>
<option>intimidated somebody once</option>
<option>grown an inch</option>
<option>learned how to tie a knot</option>
<option>friends in the VSTF</option>
<option>a top hat</option>
<option>Stacey's Mom</option>
<option>series 3 of Sherlock</option>
<option>the Declaration of Independence</option>
<option>the key to your heart</option>
<option>a yo-yo</option>
</choose> - nobody would dare stop them if they <choose><option>took over the world</option>
<option>invaded Poland</option>
<option>started a Rock band</option>
<option>tried to kill Justin Beiber</option>
<option>started a Wiki aimed at releasing </option>
<option>rebelled against England</option>
<option>cheated at football</option>
<option>summoned Satan from his dark pit</option>
<option>meddled in the Olympics</option>
<option>stole everybody's toothbrush</option>
<option>repeated every word you say in an annoying faction</option>
<option>evolved the Wikia skin to make it better</option>
<option>took drugs</option>
<option>broke Wikia Search</option>
<option>built a navy</option>
<option>stopped building a navy</option>
<option>took a day off</option>
<option>called RansomTime a walrus</option>
<optlion>said the word cuck a lot</option>
<option>threw a grenade at a squid</option>
<option>made a controversial joke</option>
<option>tried to give you a hug</option>
<option>shot bats with a pistol</option>
<option>spread rabies to the UK</option>
<option>re-wrote the Lord of the Rings, inserting their half-truths into it</option>
<option>bombed Russia</option>
<option>stole your iPhone</option>
<option>told everyone to stop being so racist</option>
<option>oppressed women</option>
<option>were nice to people for a change</option>
<option>attacked the air nomads</option>
<option>stopped making superhero movies</option>
<option>created a wiki about fake conspiracy theories</option>
<option>stopped oppressing women</option>
<option>won the lottery</option>
<option>bombed the USA from a city in the sky</option>
<option>bothered Snape</option>
<option>kidnapped your teenage daughter in Paris</option>
<option>convinced young people to join the Navy</option>
<option>created a hit K-Pop song</option>
<option>went back in time and cancelled Firefly</option>
<option>destroyed mathematics as we know it</option>
<option>picked a 4th carry</option>
<option>legalized homicide</option>
<option>determined the speed of light using chocolate and a microwave</option>
<option>fixed the outcome of a high-school basketball game</option>
<option>sent an email to ask for a day off</option>
<option>talked to weirdos on the internet</option>
<option>faked some market research data</option>
<option>ate human flesh</option>
<option>adopted the future president of the United States</option>
<option>rebooted the Large Hadron Collider</option>
<option>made some water in the middle east slightly more expensive</option>
<option>wrote an album of calm relaxing music</option>
<option>walked around in the street whilst wearing clothes</option>
<option>drove a train around a track slightly faster than they are supposed to</option>
<option>had a party</option>
<option>downloaded music illegally</option>
<option>killed unborn children</option>
<option>released the unholy Kraken from the depths of the earth</option>
<option>recruited dead people for their army of immortals</option>
<option>re-skinned google Chrome and called it "Google Ultron"</option>
<option>dodged millions of dollars worth of tax</option>
<option>gave money to a group of anthropomorphic dogs</option>
<option>had a bath</option>
<option>played cards against humanity with the homepage of this website</option>
<option>gave you slightly incorrect change</option>
<option>kidnapped your wife</option>
<option>adopted Community Central</option>
<option>added openly LGBT characters to video games</option>
<option>reinvented conventional English stereotypes</option>
<option>added new features to Tumblr</option>
<option>removed the ability to reply to Tumblr posts</option>
<option>searched YouTube for One Direction Songs</option>
<option>made Half-Life 5</option>
<option>ate your dog</option>
<option>added options to the Conspiracy Wiki homepage</option>
<option>fell in love with RansomTime</option>
<option>looked at images of people in slightly revealing clothing</option>
<option>killed a spider</option>
<option>started a conspiracy</option>
<option>harrassed women in the name of ethics in games journalism</option>
<option>turned Facebook into an educational website</option>
<option>made the school day thirty seconds longer</option>
<option>copyrighted Corn Flakes</option>
<option>listened to obscure indie music</option>
<option>had opinions</option>
<option>vandalised the Pooh's Adventures wiki</option>
</choose>.
Luckily, you're here, and we can tell you — but be careful. They'll try and tell you it's a lie, and that this website is just a parody...but you know — and you can tell them that they're wrong. Request a new conspiracy
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Category:Conspiracy Wiki