Paul Nash

Paul Nash is a fat fuck
Penis licker from the age 4 when his uncle was found in the shed with him
== Career ==
Nash was born on a ranch in the back arse of Devon to a Syrian woman and a werewolf. His Syrian refugee mother was deported at the age of 2, so him and his werewolf father fled to the forest where he was raised as a wolf, hence his hairy face and chest as he has never heard of a razor in his what we can only assume to be 45 years of being on this planet. 
Nash then began to play football for the Pinfold Pumas, in which he scored 132 goals across 8 years, linking up with players like LB14, CC1 and Seth Dixon. In his final year at the club, he finally managed to win a piece of silverware, winning the under 13's supplementary cup against his now teammate James Stevens' very own Cadbury FC. After his stint at the club, he went on to sign for the Burnley academy, where he gained a reputation of, and i quote, "No pissing about". He was then released from the academy at the age of 33 where he signed a deal with Hashtag United. His wages at the club are still unknown, but it is rumoured that he earns a red bull and an animal bar every week, with an annual bonus of a crate of smirnoff. He is known to be a quaint yet effective player for the tags, but this is quite the contrary when he's out on the piss, or on a lads holiday. 
On March 19, 2016 he was one of 18 players involved in the royal rumble of hashtag which was eventually won by chubby Stevens. Paul was the first one eliminated because Stevens was giving him a nuggy and Faisal farted on his face and Nash flew away for miles. Paul could do with losing a few pounds because he is and overweight prick. Paul Nash is an insurance broker by day, and a footballer by night as said by himself during meet the players. Jacob Buckton is also a known associate of Nash, and he typically touches children, following the footsteps of his father in noncery and devious activities.
Paul Nash is a pillar of English football, loved by the locals in Albufeira. Rumour has it then Paul Nash has shagged more Albufeiran women than Rich Beck has had hot dinners. Rumour also has it that Haroldinho got beaten up by the scrappy fucking IRA bird after a heavy night out on the strip. We mustn’t forget the time that Paul Nash went to titty bar with James bleach and saw the largest pair of heavies the world can imagine. 
Cooper clay is a nonce.
Seth Dixon is a convicted sex offender.
Jack Cooke is a fucking cretin.
Logan Brailsdford didn't want Craig to put him in net because he was having a 'Right Game'
get fucked whoever wrote that
== Style of play ==
Paul Nash is a physical full back, strong in the tackle and slightly pedophillic. He plays on the right, not as much pace as we would necessarily like and obviously he does touch children. His basic five yard passes are somewhat delicious, helping him to progress up the non league ranks past the glory days of Biggslewade United and New York City Staff team. Paul Nash is a nonce.
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Category:People
Category:Hashtag United FC players