Transcripts 1999-05

Transcripts from May 1999 strips.
==May 3==
Panel 1Norman puts a CD in the CD tray of a stereo with a "*KADINK*"Panel 2Norman pushes a button on the stereo, presumably to close the CD tray.Panel 3Norman turns the volume knob.Panel 4The stereo displays "TRACK 4 0..."Panel 5Richard is against the VERY LARGE speaker, sleeping with a chrome "Z" sound effect.Panel 6Norman pushes a remote with a "*CLICK*".Panel 7Richard is VERY RUDELY awakened by the speaker blaring, "OH MY GOD THAT'S THE FUNKY SHIT!The Prodigy, "Funky Shit""Panel 8Norman looks up at the ceiling, where Richard is shouting down at him with a word balloon illustrated as "(skull-and-crossbones)!"Norman: Ah Richard, you're awake. Wanna let go of the ceiling and I'll show ya a video I made.
==May 10==
Panel 1Richard is angrily looking over at Norman.Richard: Alright! I'm awake! What's this about a video?Richard: This better be REAL good Norman!Panel 2Richard is sitting on the couch with a "*GRUNT*" and leaning his face against his fist. Norman is peeking over Richard's shoulder.Norman: Oh, this is just a little thing I made while you were away... Er, while you watch this I'll make some tea. Yeah.Panel 3Richard watches and puts his arm down, still angry and leaning to one side. He is shown to be wearing blue pants (jeans?) and high-top shoes.Panel 4Richard suddenly sits up straight in astonishment, crossing his legs.Panel 5Norman returns with his hands in a "begging" pose, fingers intertwined. Richard has his eyes closed, sweating.Norman: Hay Richard. Do you have a sudden need to smash the state and destroy stuff at random?Richard: What?! No! But I have a REALLY strong need for a cold shower right now!
==May 17==
Panel 1Richard is topless and towelling himself off, presumably after taking the aforementioned cold shower, an annoyed look on his face.Richard: ...So you made this advert with a subliminal message on it telling whoever watches it to smash stuff up. You tested it on me you bastard but it doesn't work. Right?Panel 2Norman is looking at the tape, perplexed. Richard is clasping the towel in the background, his eyes closed.Norman: Yeah, but for some reason it just gave you the horn. I would expect that result if the message was explicit porno, but... Oh I'm buggered if I know! I even tested it on Kingston.Richard: But I thought he refused to watch anything you did after your party trick.Panel 3Kingston is on the sofa with a piece of duct tape over his mouth (and, presumably, around his arms behind his back), eyes bulging in horror as he struggles with a "GRRUM PFFPT!"Off-panel (Norman): Oh I managed to talk him into it but I got the same results.Panel 4Norman shakes his fist in anger.Norman: Dammit! This REALLY pisses me off! The idea was sound so why didn't it work? However this setback won't stop me in my quest to show the people of this world the BEAUTY of CHAOS and ANARCHY!Panel 5Richard rubs the towel over his face while Norman looks over his shoulder at Richard with a glower.Richard: *yawn* wha'ever! At least that idea was better then some you've had in the past.Richard: I wouldn't get too wound up about it tho'. Wanna go down the pub?Norman: *sigh*, I suppose so.Panel 6Richard is now dressed and wearing a coat. Richard and Norman walk down the street, presumably, passing a wall with "SHIT ON THE VILLAa Manchester United football song" written on it. Richard is in between Norman and the camera, smiling.Norman: How's it going with this new girlfriend of yours?Richard: Real good! I'm seeing her again tomorrow.Panel 7Close-up of Richard, grinning shyly.Richard: But I think it's getting too heavy too fast. Hell, every time I'm with her it's like my life is complete and I couldn't ask for more from it.Panel 8Silhouettes of Richard and Norman as they walk away? from the camera. Norman is raising a fist in a thumbs-up pose.Norman: What about money?Richard: What about it?Norman: You'll still want money to make your life complete.Richard: You're missing the point...Norman: Power? Ooo! What about the nude picture of Florence Ambrose* you've always wanted?Richard: Oh shut up!Footnote Panel*The name of Florence Ambrose of "Freefall" is used with the permission of Mark Stanley. Visit his site "www.purrsia.com/freefall"
==May 24==
Panel 1Close-up of Richard with an annoyed face.Richard: Of course it's no secret that the new "Star Wars" film came out in America this week. However THE film isn't shown here in England for another TWO MONTHS The only reason for this I can think of is that the films distributors are a load of xenophobic chicken f**kers.Panel 2Richard is angrily pointing a finger at the camera.Richard: And if the wait wasn't enough; two months is ample time for some loud mouthed dick-head (who's a total bastard anyway for going to see the film in America) to tell me the whole plot!Panel 3Richard crosses his arms smugly. Norman enters the panel with a large spade.Richard: That's why my associate and I are building a "anti-spoiler" bunker.Norman: Oh RIGHT! I thought that we were going to dig up Benny Hill again!
==May 31==
Panel 1Anne and Richard are groping each other, Anne playing with Richard's ear as he looks up into her eyes.Anne: Sure thing love. Spending the night in sounds good to me, but what about your flatmates?Richard: Norman's out and I gave Kingston money to see a film so we've the house to ourselvesPanel 2Anne and Richard make out.Panel 3Sound effects: MUNCH MUNCH MUNCHPanel 4Richard looks up from making out with a "?!" balloon over Anne's face, and "MUNCH MUNCH" sound effects over his.Panel 5Anne looks up in confusion while Richard looks over in anger at Kingston, who is watching them while munching on a bag of snacks. A thought balloon of Kingston's decapitated bloody head appears over Richard.Kingston: Oh, please... Don't mind me.Panel 6Kingston has been thrown outside, an indeterminate object (a videocassette tape?) flying at and bouncing off of Kingston's head as he winces.Off-panel (Richard): I meant go to a CINEMA, not rent a VIDEO you TART! GET OUT!Kingston: Ow! Okay OKAY! I'm going I'M GOING!
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