Homer to the Max/Quotes

:Homer: Oh, this is the worst party ever!
:Marge: I don't know. Remember that New Year's Eve at Lenny's? He didn't even have a clock.
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:Grampa: Oh, wait a minute. The family name is my legacy to you. I got it from my father, and he got it from his father and he traded a mule for it! And that mule went on to save spring break!
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:TV Announcer: The start of television's second most exciting season, mid-season, is just two hundred exciting seconds away!
:Homer: Door?
:Marge: Locked!
:Homer: Phone?
:Lisa: Unplugged!
:Homer: Dog? Cat?
:Bart: Taped and corked.
:Homer: Perfect.
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:Police Captain: You destroyed that drug shipment?
:Detective Homer Simpson: Yes, indeedy!
:Police Captain: That was my insulin!
:Detective Homer Simpson: Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O's!
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:Lenny: (whispering) Get ready, everybody. (referring to Homer) He's about to do something stupid.
:Homer: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you gentlemen but you seem to have me confused with a character in a fictional show. Now if you excuse me, my fondue is just about (spills fondue on circuit board) - D'oh! (plant workers laugh)
:Lenny: There goes Albany! (buzzing sound begins as New York begins flashing on the map)
:Carl: Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O's! (plant workers laughing) Oh, man.
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:Police Captain: Say, where's your partner? Where's Homer Simpson?
:Detective Homer Simpson: Coming, chief! (comes out in a cop uniform with mismatching gear and one boot) Whoop! Whoa!
:Police Captain: Now what have you done, Simpson?
:Detective Homer Simpson: I was supervising the guns for toys program.
:Police Captain: It's toys for guns!
:Detective Homer Simpson: Now you tell me.
:Police Captain: Simpson!
:Everyone: (laughing)
:Homer: Hey, what's going on? That guy's not Homer Simpson. He's fat and stupid!
:Lenny: Hey, looks like they changed the character into a bumbling sidekick.
:Homer: No. No, he can't be! I know. Maybe he's just acting stupid to infiltrate a gang of international idiots. Yeah, that's gotta be it.
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:Lisa: Isn't mid-season just a dumping ground for second-rate shows that weren't good enough for the fall schedule?
:Homer: You're thinking of all the other years. This year's shows are classics! There's The Laughter Family, that's animated. Networks like animation 'cause they don't have to pay the actors squat!
:Ned: (different voice) Plus, they can replace them and no one can tell the diddly-ifference!
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:Homer: Wow. They've captured my personality perfectly. (to Lisa) Did you see the way Daddy caught that bullet?
:Lisa: That's not really you, Dad. He's just a fictional character who happens to have the same name.
:Homer: Don't confuse Daddy, Lisa.
:Marge: Homer, it's just a coincidence like that guy named Anthony Michael Hall who stole your car stereo.
:Bart: Right. Coincidence.
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:Homer: (singing) Max Power, he's the man whose name you'd love to touch, but you mustn't touch! His name sounds good in your ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear! Cause his name can be said, by anyone!
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:Homer: Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way!
:Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
:Homer: Yeah, but faster!
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:Homer: The whole town's laughing at me. Even that cat out there! Bart, kill that cat!
:Bart: Okay!
:Homer: And that big yellow flower!
:Marge: Homer, your growing insanity is starting to worry me. Why don't you talk to the producers of the show? Maybe they'll make your character suave again.
:Homer: Hmm... I guess I could, but while I'm gone, keep an eye on that weird-looking kid down there.
:Marge: Bart?
:Homer: Yeah. "Bart."
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:Homer: I can't understand what happened. Why'd they change Homer Simpson's character from cool to stupid?
:Lisa: The first episode was just a pilot, dad. Producers fiddle with shows all the time. They change characters, drop others, and push some into the background.
:(Mr. Largo and the Goofball walk by)
es:Homer to the Max/Frases