Newsies (Broadway Musical)/Transcript

==== #1- Overture ====
(Summer,	1899.	A	figure	sleeps peacefully on a rooftop amid the moonlit Manhattan cityscape. It is JACK, a charismatic boy of seventeen. Across the	rooftop, another figure wakes up. CRUTCHIE, a slight and sickly boy of fifteen, has to walk with the aid of a wooden crutch. JACK stirs.) 
=== #2- Santa	Fe	(Prologue)- ===
JACK:	 Hey, where you going? Morning bell ain’t rung yet.	Go back to sleep. 
CRUTCHIE: I wanna beat the other fellas to the street. I	don’t want anyone	should see; I uh... I ain’t been walkin’ so good.	
JACK:	 Oh, quit gripin’. You know how many fellas fake a limp for sympathy, right? That bum leg of yours is a gold mine.	
CRUTCHIE: Someone gets the idea I can’t make it on my own, they’ll lock me up in The Refuge for good. Be a pal, Jack. Help me down (He tries to climb down the fire escape ladder, fumbles, and almost falls, yelping) Whoa!!!! 
(JACK rushes to CRUTCHIE’S rescue, pulling him back from danger.) 
JACK:	Do you wanna bust your other leg, too!?	
CRUTCHIE: Duh... No, I wanna go down. 
JACK:	Y-y-you’ll be down there soon enough! Take a moment. Drink in my, my penthouse, high above the stinkin streets of New York. 
CRUTCHIE: You’re crazy.	
JACK:	 Oh, what, 'cause I like a breath of fresh air? ‘Cause I like seein’ the sky and the stars? 
CRUTCHIE: Yeah, you’re seein’ stars, all right! 
JACK:	Them streets down there, they sucked the life right outta my old man. Years of rotten jobs, stomped on by bosses. And when they finally broke him, they-they tossed him to the curb just like yesterday’s paper. Well, they ain’t doin’ that to me!
CRUTCHIE: But everyone wants to come here. 
JACK:	 New York’s fine for those who got big strong door to lock it out. But I tell you, Crutchie, there’s a whole other	way out	there. So, you keep your	small life in the big city. Give me a big life... in a small town.
♪ They say folks is dying to get here
♪ Me, I'm dying to get away
♪ To a little town out west that's spankin' new
♪ And while I ain't never been there
♪ I can see it clear as day
♪ If you want, I'll bet you could see you
♪ Close your eyes, come with me
♪ Where it's clean and green and pretty
♪ And they went and made a city out of clay
♪ Like, the minute that you get there
♪ Folks will walk right up and say
♪ "Welcome home, son, welcome home to Santa Fe!"
(CRUTCHIE is taken under JACK’S spell.) 
♪ Planting crops, splittin' rails
♪ Swappin' tales around the fire
♪ Oh, 'cept for Sunday, when you lie around all day
♪ Soon, your friends are more like family
♪ And they's begging you to stay
♪ Ain't that neat? 
♪ Living sweet
♪ In Santa Fe
CRUTCHIE:	You	got	folks	there? 
JACK: (scoffs)	Ain't got	no	folks	nowhere.	You? 
CRUTCHIE: (scoffs)	I	don’t	need	folks.	 I	got	friends. 
JACK:	Hey, hey! How’s about you come with me? Oh, no one care about no gimp leg in Santa	Fe. No, you just, just hop	a	palomino!	You ride it in style.
CRUTCHIE:	Oh, yeah! Feature me, ridin’	in	style. 
JACK:	I bet a few months	of clean	air,	and	you	could	toss that crutch for good! 
JACK	&	CRUTCHIE:	♪ Santa Fe, you can bet 
♪ We won’t let them bastards beat us
♪ We won’t beg no one to treat us fair and square
♪ There's a life that's worth the livin'
♪ And I'm gonna do my share
JACK: Work the land, Chase the sun
JACK	&	CRUTCHIE: SWIM	THE	WHOLE	RIO	GRANDE	JUST	FOR	FUN! 
CRUTCHIE: (stands	on	his	own.) ♪ Waaatch me stand! Watch me run.. (CRUTCHIE	realizes	his	recover	is	just	a	fantasy,	and	turns	away	from	JACK.) 
JACK:	Hey... (CRUTCHIE	looks	at	him.	JACK	wraps	his	arms	around	his	friend	protectively.) 
♪ Don't you know that we's a family?
♪ Would I let you down? Huh? No way
♪ Just hold on, kid 'til that train makes Santa Fe
(CRUTCHIE	leans	against	JACK	as	the	sun	rises	behind	them.	The	church	bell	tolls	6	a.m.,	which	breaks	the	spell.) 
JACK:	Time for dreamin’s	done.	 (JACK	takes	CRUTCHIE’S	crutch	and	bangs	it	on	the	fire	escape	metal,	sounding	an	alarm.) Hey!	Specs, Racer, Henry, Albert, Elmer. Get a move	on, boys! Them papes don’t sell themselves! 
==== #2A- Prologue	(Playoff) ====
=== SCENE	ONE: Newsboys’	Lodging	House	&	Newsie	Square ===
(RACE,	a	little	tough	guy,	calls	to	the	others	as	he	dresses.) 
RACE: Hey, Albert, Elmer, Specs! You heard Jack. Get	a move on. 
(ALBERT	appears	next	to	him,	still	wiping	the	sleep	from	his	eyes.) 
ALBERT: (sighs) I was havin’ the most beautiful dream.	My	lips	are	still	tingling.	
RACE: Oh, a pretty girl?
ALBERT: A leg of lamb!
#3- Carrying	the	Banner- 
RACE: Hey! ♪ That's my cigar!
ALBERT: ♪ You'll steal anotha
SPECS: (Referring to Henry) ♪ Hey, look, it's bath time at the zoo
HENRY: ♪ I thought that I'd surprise my mother 
ALBERT: If you can find her. 
NEWSIES: WHO ASKED YOU?!
ALBERT: Papes ain’t movin’ like they used to. I think I need a new sellin’ spot. Got any ideas? 
RACE: From Bottle Alley to the harbor
♪ Them's easy picking guaranteed
FINCH: Try any banker, bum or barber
♪ They almost all knows how to read
JACK: ♪ It's a crooked game we're playin',	
♪ One we'll never lose
♪ Long as suckers don't mind payin'
♪ Just to get bad news!
(The	NEWSIES	move	outdoors	to	the	Newsie	Square.) 
NEWSIES: ♪ Ain't it a fine life, Carrying the banner through it all 
♪ A mighty fine life, Carrying the banner tough and tall
♪ When that bell rings,
♪ We goes where we wishes
♪ We's as free as fishes
♪ Sure beats washin' dishes
♪ What a fine life, carrying the banner home free all
(KATHERINE,	a	lovely	young	lady,	walks	by	with	her cousin.	ROMEO	spots	her	and	starts	towards	her,	but	JACK	sees	her	too.)
ROMEO: Well, hello, hello, hello, beautiful.	
JACK: Oh, step back, Romeo. Nothin’ what concerns you here. (moves	ROMEO	aside	and	shoots	to	KATHERINE.)	 [flirty] Morning Miss. May I interest you in the latest news? 
KATHERINE: The paper isn’t out yet.	
JACK: I’d be delighted to bring it to you poisonally.	
KATHERINE: (Stutters) I’ve got a headline for you: “Cheeky Boy Gets Nothing For His Troubles!” 
(All the other Newsies laugh. KATHERINE	brushes	past	JACK	and	joins	her	friend.) 
ROMEO: Back to the bench, sluggah. You struck	out.	
JACK: (Feigning	pain) I’m crushed!	
FINCH: Hey, Crutchie. What's your leg say? Gonna rain? 
CRUTCHIE: (shakes	his	leg) No rain. Ohoh. Partly cloudy, clear by evening. 
FINCH: They oughta bottle this guy!	
RACE: Yeah, and the limp sells 50 papes a week all by itself. 
CRUTCHIE: I	don't need the limp to sell papes. I got poisonality. 
♪ It takes a smile that spreads like butter 
♪ The kind that turns a lady's head
RACE: It takes an orphan with a stutter...
FINCH: ♪ Who's also blind...
ALBERT: ♪ And mute...
ELMER: ♪ And dead!! 
NEWSIES:	♪ Summer stinks and winter's freezin'	
♪ When you works outdoors
♪ Start out sweatin', end up snezin',
♪ In between it pours!
STILL	IT'S	A	FINE	LIFE,	CARRYING	THE	BANNER	WITH	ME	CHUMS, (STILL	IT’S	A	FINE	LIFE,	CARRYING	THE	BANNER)	
A	BUNCH	OF	BIG	SHOTS,	TOSSIN'	OUT	A	FREEBIE	TO	THE	BUMS.	(A	BUNCH	OF	BIG	SHOTS,	TOSSIN’	OUT	A	FREEBIE) 
FINCH: (calling	to	the	NEWSIES) HEY! WHAT'S	THE	HOLD	UP?	
WAITIN'	MAKES	ME ANTSY.
I	LIKES	LIVIN'	CHANCEY 
NEWSIES: HARLEM	TO	DELANCEY	
WHAT	A	FINE	LIFE,	CARRYING	THE	BANNER	THROUGH	THE...
(A	group	of	NUNS	appears	and	distributes	a	breakfast	of	coffee	and	doughnuts	to	the	NEWSIES) 
NUNS:	BLESSED	CHILDREN,	
THOUGH	YOU	WANDER	LOST	AND	DEPRAVED, 
JESUS	LOVES	YOU.	
YOU SHALL	BE	SAVED. 
ELMER: Thanks for the grub, Sistuh.	
NUN	1: Elmer, when are we going to see you inside the church?	
ELMER: I	don’t	know,	Sistuh.	But	it’s	bound	to	rain	sooner	or	later.	(SIMULTANEOUS) NUNS: BLESSED	CHILDREN,	AH.	JESUS	LOVES	YOU,	AH 
RACE: CURDLED	COFFEE,	CONCRETE	DONUTS	SPRINKLED	WITH	MOLD,	HOMEMADE	BISCUITS,	JUST	TWO	YEARS	OLD. 
ELMER: JUST	GIVE	ME	HALF	A	CUP. 
HENRY: SOMETHING	TO	WAKE	ME UP. 
ROMEO: I	GOTTA	FIND	AN	ANGLE. 
TOMMY	BOY: IT'S	GETTING	BAD	OUT	THERE. 
MUSH: PAPERS	IS	ALL	I	GOT. 
SPECS: IT'S	EIGHTY-EIGHT	DEGREES. 
JO	JO: JACK	SAYS	TO	CHANGE	MY	SPOT. 
ALBERT: WISH	I	COULD	CATCH	A BREEZE. FINCH: MAYBE	IT'S	WORTH	A	SHOT. BUTTONS: ALL	I	CAN	CATCH	IS	FLEAS. 
JACK: IF	I	HATE	THE	HEADLINE,	I'LL	MAKE	UP A	HEADLINE 
JACK	&	CRUTCHIE: AND	I'LL	SAY	ANYTHING	I	HAVE'TA 
JACK	&	A FEW NEWSIES: 'CAUSE	AT	TWO	FOR	A	PENNY,	IF	I	TAKE	TOO	MANY
JACK	&	MORE	NEWSIES: WEASEL	JUST	MAKES	ME	EAT	'EM	AFTA. 
(The	NEWSIES	continue	their	journey	through	downtown	Manhattan.) 
NEWSIE	GROUP	1: (SIMULTANEOUSLY	WITH	NEWSIE	GROUP	2	BELOW): GOT	A	FEELIN'	'BOUT	THE	HEADLINE!	
I	SMELLS	ME	A	HEADLINE! 
PAPES	ARE	GONNA	SELL LIKE	WE	WAS	GIVIN'	'EM	AWAY! 
BET'CHA	DINNER	IT'S	A	DOOZY, 
'BOUT	A	PISTOL-PACKIN'	FLOOZY	
WHO	KNOWS	HOW	TO	MAKE	A	NEWSIE'S	DAY!
NEWSIE GROUP 2: I	DO,	TOO!	SO	IT	MUST	BE	TRUE! 
WHAT	A	SWITCH!	SOON	WE'LL	ALL	BE	RICH!	
DON'T	KNOW	ANY	BETTER WAY	TO	MAKE	A	NEWSIES	DAY! 
NEWSIES: YOU	WANNA	MOVE	THE	NEXT	EDITION?	
GIVE	US	AN	EARTHQUAKE	OR	A	WAR
ELMER: HOW	'BOUT	A	CROOKED	POLITICIAN? 
NEWSIES: YA	NITWIT,	THAT	AIN'T	NEWS	NO MORE! 
UPTOWN	TO	GRAND	CENTRAL	STATION 
DOWN	TO CITY	HALL,	
WE	IMPROVES	OUR	CIRCULATION	
WALKIN'	'TILL	WE	FALL! 
NEWSIE	GROUP	1 (SIMULTANEOUS WITH	NEWSIE	GROUP	2	BELOW):	
BUT	WE'LL	BE	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER	MAN	TO	MAN. 
WE'RE	ALWAYS OUT	THERE	SOAKIN'	EV'RY	SUCKER	THAT	WE	CAN 
HERE'S	THE	HEADLINE: NEWSIES	ON	A	MISSION! 
KILL	THE	COMPETITION!	
SELL	THE	NEXT	EDITION! 
WE'LL	BE	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER! 
SEE	US	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER! 
ALWAYS	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER! 
NEWSIE	GROUP	2: GOT	A	FEELIN'	'BOUT	THE	HEADLINE! 
I	SMELLS	ME	A	HEADLINE! 
PAPES	ARE	GONNA	SELL LIKE	WE	WAS	GIVIN'	'EM	AWAY! 
BET'CHA	DINNER	IT'S	A	DOOZY	
'BOUT	A	PISTOL-PACKIN'	FLOOZY! 
DON'T	KNOW	ANY	BETTER	WAY	TO	MAKE	A	NEWSIE'S	DAY! 
I	WAS	STAKIN'	OUT	THE	CIRCUS,	AND	THEN	SOMEONE	SAID	THAT	CONEY'S	REALLY	HOT,
BUT	WHEN	I	GET	THERE,	THERE	WAS	SPOT	WITH	ALL	HIS	CRONIES. 
HECK,	I'M	GONNA	TAKE WHAT	LITTLE	DOUGH	I	GOT	AND	PLAY	THE	PONIES! 
WE	AT	LEAST	DESERVE	A	HEADLINE	FOR	THE	HOURS	THAT	THEY	WORK	US. 
JEEZ,	I	BET	IF	I	JUST	STAYED	A	LITTLE	LONGER	AT	THE	CIRCUS... 
(The	NEWSIES	have	arrived	at	the	locked	gate	in	front	of	the	World- a	prominent	newspaper	owned	by	Joseph	Pulitzer.)
FINCH: Hey,	look! They’re puttin’ up the headline. 
SPECS: I hope it’s really bloody. With a nice clear picture.	
NEWSIES: Yeah!
(A	large	chalkboard	looms	above.	The	NEWSIES	watch	in	anticipation	as	a	MAN	writes	the	headline	in	large	letters,	“TROLLEY	STRIKE	ENTERS	THIRD	WEEK.” The boys are incredulous) 
ELMER:	The	trolley strike?!	
IKE:	Not	again! 
RACE: Man, three	weeks of the same story. 
FINCH: They’re killin’	us with that	snoozer.		
(Two	tough-looking	boys,	OSCAR	and	MORRIS	DELANCEY,	unlock	the	gates.) 
MORRIS: Make	way. Step aside. 
RACE: Dear me, what is that unpleasant aroma? I fear the sewer may have backed up during the night. 
PEPPER: Or could it be... 
NEWSIES:	...the	Delancey	brothers!!! 
FINCH:	Hey,	Oscar,	word	on the	street	says	you	and	your	brother	took	money	to	beat	up	striking	trolley	workers. 
OSCAR:	So?	It’s	honest	work. 
ALBERT:	For 	crackin’	the	heads	of	defenseless	workers? 
OSCAR:	I	take	care	of	the	guy	who	takes	care	of	me.	
RACE:	Ain’t	your	father	one	of	the	strikers?
OSCAR:	Guess	he	didn’t	take	care	of	me!	(As	if	to	make	his	point,	MORRIES	grabs	CRUTCHIE	and	throws	him	to	the	ground.) 
MORRIS:	You	want	some	of	that	too?	Ya	lousy	crip!	
(JACK	pulls	CRUTCHIE	back	to	his	feet	and	then	confronts	the	DELANCEYS.	The	NEWSIES	back	up	to	give	JACK	room.) 
JACK:	Now	that’s	not	nice,	Morris. 
RACE:	Five	to	one	Jack	skunks	‘em! 
SWISH:	My	money’s	on	Jack! 
JACK:	One	unfortunate	day,	you	might find	you	got	a	bum	gam	of	your	own.	How’d	you	like	us	pickin’	on	you? Hey!	Maybe	we	should	find	out.	
(And	with	that,	Jack	takes	CRUTCHIE’S	walking	stick	and	smacks	the	DELANCEYS	in	the	shins,	knocking	them	both	to	the	ground.) 
OSCAR:	Wait	till	I	get	my	hands	on	you.	
JACK:	Ya	gotta	catch	me	first!
(A	chase	ensues	as	the	NEWSIES	sing	and	dance	their	way	in	through	the	front	gate....) 
NEWSIES: Go Jack!
WE'LL	ALL	BE	OUT	THERE
CARRYING	THE	BANNER	MAN	TO	MAN 
WE'RE	ALWAYS	OUT	THERE
SOAKIN'	EV'RY	SUCKER THAT	WE	CAN. 
HERE'S	THE	HEADLINE: “NEWSIES	ON	A	MISSION!” 
KILL	THE	COMPETITION!	
SELL	THE	NEXT	EDITION! 
WE'LL	BE	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER! 
SEE	US	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER! 
ALWAYS	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER!	
AH,	AH,	AH,	GO!
(The	NEWSIES	arrive	at	the	distribution	windows	of	the	World.	WIESEL,	an	ill-tempered,	rumpled	man,	appears	with	the	DELANCEYS	to	collect	the	money	and	distribute	the	papers	to	the	NEWSIES.) 
WIESEL:	Papers for the	Newsies! Line up!
(JACK	is	first	to	the	window.) 
JACK:	Good	morning, Weasel. Did	you	miss me? 
WIESEL:	The name's Wies-el. 
JACK:	Ain’t that what I said? (Slapping	down	his	money.) I’ll take the usual.	
WIESEL:	A	hundred papes for the wise guy.	
(OSCAR	hands	over	the	papers	and	RACE	moves	up	to	the	window.) 
RACE: How’s it going, Weasel? 
WIESEL:	At least call me “mister.” 
RACE: Well, I’ll call you sweetheart if you’d spot me fifty papes, huh?
WIESEL:	Drop the cash and move it along.
RACE: (slapping	down	his	coin) Ooh, well, whatever happened to romance? 
WIESEL:	Fifty for	the	Race.	Next! 
CRUTCHIE: Good morning, Mr. Wiesel. 
WIESEL: Fifty papes for Crutchie. 
(DAVEY,	a	cautious 17-year-old-boy	who	appears	out	of his element, and his little brother LES, are next in line.)	
WIESEL: (chuckles) Have a look at this: a new kid.
LES: I’m new, too!
RACE: Hey, don’t	worry, kid. It rubs right off.
DAVEY:	I’ll take twenty newspapers, please. 
WIESEL:	Twenty for the new kid. (beat) And let’s see the dime. 
DAVEY:	I’ll pay when I sell them.	
WIESEL:	Funny, kid. C’mon, cash up	front. 
DAVEY:	But	whatever I don’t sell,	you buy back, right? 
WIESEL:	Coytainly.	And every time you lose a tooth I put a penny under your pillow.	 C’mon.	Drop the cash and move it along. (Davey	hands	over	a	dime,	gets	his	papers,	and	looks	them	over.)Aye, move it along. Albert, lemme see your money.	
ALBERT: You have a very interestin’	face. Ever think of getting’ into the movin’ pictures? 
WIESEL:	You	really think I could? 
ALBERT: Sure. Buy	a ticket, they let anyone in.
(The other	NEWSIES	laugh. Davey walks back up to the window) 
DAVEY: Sorry. Excuse me. I paid for 20, but you gave me 19.	
(EVERYONE	freezes	and	watches. JACK	swoops	in	and	quickly	counts	the	papers.) 
WIESEL:	You seen how nice	I was to dis new kid? And what do I get for	my	civility?	Ungrounded	accusations. 
DAVEY:	I	just	want	what	I	paid	for. 
OSCAR:	He	said	beat	it!	
(The	DELANCEYS	start	to	crack	their	knuckles.) 
JACK: Woah!	New	kid’s	right,	Weasel.	Ya	gave	him	19. Hey, 	I’m	sure	it	was	an	honest	mistake	on	account’a	Oscar	can’t	count	to	20	with	his	shoes	on.	
(OSCAR	threatens	to	attack.	WIESEL	pushes	him	back	and	tosses	another	paper	to	DAVEY.)
WIESEL:	Here.	Now	take	a	hike!
JACK:	(flipping	a	coin	onto	the	counter)	Give	the new kid		fifty more papes.
DAVEY:	I	don’t	want	more	papes. 
(The NEWSIES stop and stare at him)
JACK:	What	kind’a	newsie	don’t	want	more	papes?
DAVEY:	I’m	no	charity	case.	I	don’t	even	know	you.	
LES:	His	name’s	Jack. 
CRUTCHIE: Yeah, this	here	is	the	famous	Jack	Kelly.	He	once	escaped	jail	on	the	back	of	Teddy	Roosevelt’s	carriage.	Made	all	the	papes.	
JACK:	(to	LES)	How	old	are	you,	kid? 
LES:	I’m	ten. Almost. 
JACK: Well, if	anybody	asks,	you’re	seven.	Younger	sells	more	papes,	and	if	we’re	gonna	be	partners-
DAVEY:	Who	said	we	want	a	partner? 
CRUTCHIE: Uh, sellin’	with	Jack	is	the	chance	of	a	lifetime.	You	learn	from	him,	you	learn	from	the	best.
DAVEY:	If	he’s	the	best,	what’s	he	need	with me? 
JACK:	‘Cause	you	got	a	little	brother	and	I	don’t.	With dat puss, we could easily sell	a	thousand	papes	a	week.	(to	LES)	Look	sad,	kid.	
(LES	makes	a	sad	face.)
JACK: (exclaims) We’re	gonna	make	millions.
LES:	This	is	my	brother	David.	I’m	Les.
JACK:	Nice	to	meet	ya,	Davey.	My	two	bits	come	off	the	top,	and	we	split	everything	70-30. 
LES:	50-50!	You	wouldn’t	try	to	pull	a	fast	one	on	a	little kid? 
(Jack sports him a look, few seconds of silence)
JACK:	60-40, 	and	that is	my	final	offer.
LES:	Deal.	(JACK	spits	in	his	hand	and	holds	it	out	to	shake.	LES	copies	him	and	they	shake.) DAVEY:	That’s	disgusting.	
JACK:	It’s	just	business.	(to	ALL)	Newsies,	hit	the	streets!	The	sun	is	up,	the	headline	stinks,	and	this	kid	ain’t	getting’	any	younger!
==== #3- Carrying	The	Banner	(Tag)- ====
NEWSIES: WE'LL	ALL	BE	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER	MAN	TO	MAN
WE'RE	ALWAYS	OUT	THERE	SOAKIN'	EV'RY	SUCKER	THAT	WE	CAN
HERE'S	THE	HEADLINE: “NEWSIES	ON	A	MISSION!”	
KILL	THE	COMPETITION!	
SELL	THE	NEXT	EDITION! 
WE'LL	BE	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER! 
SEE	US	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER! 
ALWAYS	OUT	THERE	CARRYING	THE	BANNER!	
AH,	AH,	AH,	GO! 
(The	NEWSIES	exit	as	the	scene	shifts	to...) 
=== SCENE	TWO:	Pulitzer’s Office, Afternoon ===
(Editor	SEITZ,	secretary	HANNAH,	and	accountant	BUNSEN huddle	in	a	business	meeting.	The	mogul,	JOSEPH	PULITZER,	is	having	his	hair	cut	by	NUNZIO,	the	barber.) 
PULITZER:	Gentlemen,	the	World is	in	trouble.	Our	circulation	is	down	for	the	third	quarter	in	a	row.
SEITZ:	But,	Mr.	Pulitzer,	every	paper’s	circulation	is	down	since	the	war	ended. 
PULITZER:	Whoever	said	“war is hell” wasn’t	trying	to	sell	newspapers. 
BUNSEN:	We	could	use	an	exciting	headline. 
PULITZER:	What	have	we	got	today? 
SEITZ:	The	trolley strike. 
PULITZER:	That’s	not	exciting?	It’s	epic! 
HANNAH:	It’s	boring.	Folks	wanna	know,	“Is	the	trolley	comin’	or	am I walking?”	No	one	cares	why. 
SEITZ:	And	the	strike’s	about	to	be	settled.	Governor	Roosevelt	just	put	his	support	behind	the	workers.
PULITZER:	Oh, that	man	is	a	socialist. 
SEITZ:	Teddy	Roosevelt	is	no	socialist.	He’s	an	American	hero. 
PULITZER:	The	man	wants	to	outlaw	football	for	being	too	violent!	Football!	Violent?!	(beat) You’re	right.	He’s	not	socialist.	He’	a	commie! 
NUNZIO:	Mr.	Pulitzer,	please,	you	must	try	to	sit	still. 
PULITZER:	Gentlemen,	please,	you	are	making	Nunzio	nervous.	And	when	Nunzio	gets	nervous,	I	don’t	look	pretty.	
(PULITZER	sits	back.) 
HANNAH:	You	never	liked	Roosevelt.	You	wrote	and	editorial	against	him	day	after	day	when	he ran	for	governor.	And	guess	what?	He	got	elected.	
PULITZER:	How	can	I	influence	voters	if	they’re	not	reading	my	opinion? 
SEITZ:	Big	photos	attract	readers. PULITZER:	Do	you	know	what	big	photos	cost? 
BUNSEN:	But	without	flashy	photos	or	headlines,	how	are	we	supposed	to	sell more	papers.	
PULITZER:	The answer	right	before	your	eyes.	You’re	not	thinking	this	through.	People...	
=== #3- The	Bottom	Line ===
PULITZER:	NUNZIO	KNOWS	WHEN	HE’S	CUTTING	MY	HAIR 
TRIM	A	BIT	HERE, AND	THEN	TRIM	A	BIT	THERE 
JUST	A	MODEST	ADJUSTMENT	CAN	FATTEN	THE	BOTTOM	LINE 
NUNZIO:	Mr.	Pulitzer,	please.	
PULITZER:	SHAVING	IS	TRICKY,	THE	RAZOR	SHOULD	FLOAT 
SHAVE	ME	TOO	CLOSE,	AND	YOU	MAY	CUT	MY	THROAT
IT’S	THE	SIMPLEST	SOLUTIONS	THAT	BOLSTER	THE	BOTTOM	LINE 
SEITZ:	How	does	that	help	us	sell	more	papers? 
HANNAH:	We	don’t	sell	papers,	silly.	Newsies	sell	papers. 
PULITZER: Exactly, silly. Newsies sell papers.
BUNSEN:	I’ve	got	it!	Right	now,	we	charge	the	newsies	fifty	cents	for	a	hundred	papers.	
PULITZER:	Yes... 
BUNSEN:	But	if	we	raised	their	price	to	sixty	cents	per	hundred... 
PULITZER:	Now	you’re	getting	somewhere... 
SEITZ:	A	mere	tenth	of	a	penny	per	paper? 
BUNSEN:	Every	single	newsie	would	have	to	sell	10	more	papers	just	to	earn	the	same	amount	as	always. 
PULITZER:	My	thoughts	exactly.	It’s	genius. 
HANNAH:	But it’s	going	to	be	awfully	rough	on	those	children. 
PULITZER:	Nonsense.	I’m	giving	them	a	real	life	lesson	in	economics.	I	couldn’t	offer	them	a	better	education	if	they	were	my	own.
GIVE	ME	A	WEEK	AND	I’LL	TRAIN	THEM	TO	BE
LIKE	AN	ARMY THAT’S	MARCHING	TO	WAR 
PROUD	OF	THEMSELVES	AND	SO	GRATEFUL	TO	ME
THEY’LL	BE	BEGGING	TO	PAY	EVEN	MORE!
WHEN	THERE’S	DIRT	ON	OUR	SHOES,	BOYS, FOR GOD SAKE, RELAX!
WHY	THROW	THEM	OUT? ALL	WE	NEED	IS	SOME	WAX 
LISTEN	WELL	TO	THESE	BARBERSHIP	LESSONS	
FOR	THEY’LL SEE	YOU	THROUGH! 
SIETZ,	HANNAH	&	BUNSEN:	WHEN	YOU’RE	STUCK	IN	THE	MUCK,	YOU’LL	BE	FINE
YOU’LL	ERASE	ANY	TRACE	OF	DECLINE S
SEITZ:	WHAT	A	TRIM! 
HANNAH:	AND	A	SNIP! 
BUNSEN: AND	A	SHINE! 
PULITZER:	AND	THE	POWER	OF	PRESS,	YES! 
ONCE	AGAIN	IS	MINE! 
PULITZER:	The price	for	the	Newsies	goes	up	in	the	morning! 
PULITZER:	JUST	A	FEW	COMMON	CENTS,	GENTS, THAT’S	THE	BOTTOM	LINE! 
SIETZ,	HANNAH	&	BUNSEN:	EV’RY	NEW	OUTCOME	IS	INCOME	FOR	YOU, 
THANKS	TO	THAT	BOTTOM	LINE! 
(The	lights	shift	from	the	office	to	the	NEWSIES	during	the	scene	transition.) 
#4A- Carrying	The	Banner	(Reprise)- Newsies 11 NEWSIES: SUN	UP	TO	SUNDOWN,	KNOWIN’	WHERE	MY	CUSTOMERS’LL	BE SUN	UP	TO	SUNDOWN,	WATCHIN’	ALL	THE	LADIES	WATCHIN’	ME WALKED	MY	SHOES	OFF,	GOT	THE	DOUGH	TO	SHOW	IT PROBABLY	I’LL	BLOW	IT,	THEN	BEFORE	YOU	KNOW	IT WE’LL	BE	OUT	THERE,	CARRYING	THE	BANNER….	(The	scene	shifts	to...) 
=== SCENE	THREE:	A	Street	Corner ===
WIP