The Cold War

The Cold War is the second episode of Cult of Squid. It aired July 21st, 2018 and was written by Locknloaded23.
== Plot ==
The Cephalopod Lodge gets hit with the flu, so the Feathered friends have a slight advantage.
== Transcript ==
(Episode begins inside the lodge with Squidward on his throne)
Security: (walks in) brother Squidward...
Brother squidward: what is it security?
Security: it seems that most of our cult members are leaving early.
Squidward: WHAT?! WHY?!
Cult member: (walks in) brother Squidward, can i go home? I'm feeling… (tips head offscreen and pukes and falls down)
Squidward: unacceptable! (Slams tentacle on throne)
Security: im not feeling too well myself...
Brother Squidward: shoo! Dont infect me with your germs!
Security: ok… (walks offscreen and pukes)
Squidward: and clean up that mess!
Security: aww…
Initiator: (pukes offscreen) (walks in) so what initiations are we doing today?
Squidward: none.
Initiator: cool.
Squidward: this sickness is invading my beautiful cult!
Noseward: good thing i can't get infected cuz I'm a nose.
Squidward: uh, how do you do anything since you're just a nose?
Noseward: my anatomy is super complex. 
Squidward: i see.
(Cuts to a shot of the entire room with most of  the cult members walking around and coughing)
Noseward:  (offscreen) we can't run a cult like this!
Squidward: (offscreen) i see. (Cuts back) i wonder if the prisoners are also dealing with this disease.
(Cuts to the underground prison cell with almost all the fish coughing)
(Cuts back)
Noseward: i ain't going down there to find out.
Squidward: we must do something about this!
Noseward: I'll get one of our slave doctors. (Goes offscreen)
(Cuts to the feathered friends sneaking outside of the lodge)
Spongebob: (whispering) alright feathered friends, it's time to bust in and show those squids who's boss!
Patrick: uh, spongebob?
Spongebob: yeah?
Patrick: the security guard isnt there.
Spongebob: oh, i guess we'll just casually walk in.
Mr krabs: oh brother.
(The FF all walk to the front door as multiple Squids walk out of the lodge)
Spongebob: are these people finally accepting defeat?!
Cult member: no, we got a virus.
Plankton: you know what this means?
Spongebob: these people are sick?
Plankton: No you dang idiot! It means we can take over the lodge easier now! 
Krabs: why am i here again?
(Cuts to inside the lodge with The Feathered Friends sneaking in and going to the throne room)
Spongebob: freeze cephalopods! 
Squidward: Spongebob?! Patrick?! Plankton?! Kra- where's krabs?
Spongebob: he went home due to lack of interest.
Squidward: dang.
Plankton: we've come to take over! 
Squidward: never! Cult, attack!
Cult members: yaaa-(all start coughing)aa!!
(The ff and the cult members have a battle and the cult members cough a lot)
Spongebob: (holds a cult member's nose) gotcha nose!
(Cult member punches Spongebob to the ground)
(Cuts to Patrick fighting a cult member)
Patrick: take this! (Misses a punch) and this! (Misses yet again) and uh… What was i doing?
(The cult member attempts to punch patrick but Patrick yawns, dodging the attack without him knowing)
(Cuts to a cult member running towards plankton)
Cult member: aaaa!!!!
(Cuts to plankton running towards the cult member)
Plankton: aaaa!!!
(Cuts to cult member)
Cult member: aaaa-
Plankton: OOW!!
(Cult member raises foot to see he has stepped on plankton by accident)
(Cuts to mr krabs relaxing on his recliner watching T.V for 5 seconds)
(Cuts to the lodge filled with wounded and tired squids and the feathered friends all knocked out. There is a doctor giving everyone except Squidward flu vaccines)
Squidward: we won! WE WO- (coughs) uh oh..
(A cult member picks up the 3 and throws them out)
(Cuts to Squidward holding a bucket)
Cult member: hey boss, we all feel better!
Brother Squidward: great… (barfs in bucket)
Cult member: oh my…
Noseward: i wonder how the fish in prison are doing?
(Cuts to a shot of the underground cage and everyone feels better)
Tom: at least we're better.
Fred: my leg fell off!!
Tom: put it back on then!
(Cuts to Squidward on a bed with a box of tissues and there are cult members next to him)
Squidward: are there anymore vaccines?
Doctor: nope, you'll just have to wait this one out.
Cult member: can i just say that's not how vaccines wor-
Doctor: QUIET.
Noseward: back into the slave quarters with you.
(Episode ends with Nosewars chasing the doctor offscreen while holding a whip and constantly whipping the doc and Squidward throws up one more time)
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