Squid Finds a Job

Squid Finds a Job is a SpongeBob fanon episode from Season 286. In this episode, Squidward is fired from the Krusty Krab and must find a new job.
== Transcript ==
[The episode begins at a Krusty Krab meeting]
Mr Krabs: OK, team, we need plans to make more money!
SpongeBob: Uh, Mr Krabs, I don't think running this restaurant is just about making as much money as humanly possible. 
Mr. Krabs: Nonsense! Of course it is! Now, I'm split between starting making Krabby Patties in a sweatshop in Bangladesh, and stopping paying taxes. What do you think, Squidwart?
Squidward: Uhh.. maybe we should increase Krabby Patty prices?
Mr Krabs: Great idea!
[Bubble transition to the next day]
Incidental 70: One Krabby Patty please.
Squidward: Prices have increased. 
Incidental 70: It's OK, I can afford it, I just got a promotion!
Squidward: They now cost $6,086,555,670,238,378,989,670,371,734,243,169,622,657,830,773,351,885,970,528,324,860,512,791,691,264.
Incidental 70: What?!?!? There's no way I'm paying that amount! I'm eating somewhere else!
Mr Krabs: Squidwart, your idea to increase Krabby Patty prices has been a dismal failure. I haven't had a customer all day!
Squidward: I meant increase the prices by like a dollar!
Mr Krabs: Yeah, right. You're fired!
Squidward: Whatever. I can easily find a job elsewhere.
[Bubble transition to the Chum Bucket]
Plankton: You don't mind being paid in chum, do you?
Squidward: No, not at all. It's more than I was paid at my last job anyway. I... [Sniffs the air. His nose comes alive and grows arms, legs, and a mouth.]
Squidward's nose: What the hell is this place?!?!? It smells like crap!!! I'm not setting foot in this place ever again! [Runs off]
Squidward: Uhh, I kinda need that... I don't think I should work here. [He leaves]
Patrick Jr: Hi Squidwart!
Squidward: Hi Patrick Jr.
Patrick Jr: How's your day been?
Squidward: Oh, the usual... Patrick made fun of my clarinet playing, SpongeBob annoyed me, I painted another self portrait...
Patrick Jr: Cool
Squidward: Oh, and I got fired from the Krusty Krab and am now looking for another job. Forgot to mention that.
Patrick Jr: Why don't you sell winning lottery ticket forgeries like me?
Squidward: Because it's an immoral practise.
Patrick Jr: What does emmirril mean?
Squidward: It means it's wrong.
Patrick Jr: No, it can't be wrong. It's not an answer to a question.
Squidward: No, not wrong meaning incorrect. Wrong meaning you shouldn't do it because it causes suffering.
SpongeBob: Hey Patrick Jr! I'll take half a trillion lottery tickets!
Patrick Jr: Here you go! [Gives him the tickets] That'll be a trillion dollars!
SpongeBob: I only have a nickel. Can I pay you back later?
Patrick Jr: Sure!
[SpongeBob walks off]
Patrick Jr: That didn't cause any suffering! YOU'RE the one who's wrong! Ha ha ha!
Squidward: Forget it. I'll find somewhere else to work. 
[Bubble transition to Weenie Hut Jr.'s]
Squidward: Hi, can I have a job here?
Incidental 70: Sure. What's your name?
Squidward: Squidward Tentacles
Incidental 70: OK, Squidward Tennisballs...
Squidward: Tentacles!
Incidental 70: Tacticals
Squidward: No! Ten!
Incidental 70: Ten
Squidward: Ta
Incidental 70: Ta
Squidward: Cles!
Incidental 70: Cles
Squidward: Tentacles!
Incidental 70: Tortellini
Squidward: I'm not working here if you can't get my freaking name right!
Incidental 70: OK, Mr. Tinyballs
Squidward: GAAAAAH!!! [Walks off]
[Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab]
Squidward: I couldn't find any work. Can I please have my job back?
Mr. Krabs: Sure. For a thousand dollars.
Squidwart: WHAT????? I'm not paying YOU to work in YOUR restaurant!
Mr. Krabs: Your dumb idea of raising prices has made me bankrupt!
Squidward: Forget it. I'll find somewhere else to work if it's the last thing I do!
French Narrator: Two weeks later
Squidward: Winning lottery ticket forgeries! Get your winning lottery ticket forgeries! They cost one cent less than Patrick Jr's! You're sure to win with these forgeries! Come and get them!
[Episode ends]
== Reviews ==
Primitive Star: 8/10 Good but not that memorable.
== Gallery ==
File:Kkmeeting.png|The Krusty Krab meeting
File:Incidental70orderskrabbypatty.png|Incidental 70 orders a Krabby Patty
File:Squidsnose.png|Squidward's nose becomes alive
File:Squidandpatjr.png|Squidward and Patrick Jr argue
File:Weeniehutjrs.png|Squidward at Weenie Hut Jrs
File:Squidslotteryticket.png|Squidward starts selling fake lottery tickets
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