Zoom 2023-03-07 21:00

So the combat went much as expected – those who enjoy repeatedly hitting things took much damage but seem to have survived more or less alive. Predictably nobody’s grandmother made it out but hey ho Caradoc will take that. Caradoc makes a mental note never to go toe to toe with a storm giant and also that if Twoo goes into full HIMARS mode again he is going to cause a friendly fire incident roughly once every two or three rounds if people stand around near one of his targets.
 
Things that Caradoc took note of while eating popcorn:
 
Eliezure has a spider on his shoulder – this probably puts a cramp on his style when dealing with the ladies and someone really ought to have a word with him about it. Cagrun had a snake under his armour which seemed a bit weirdly suggestive to Caradoc but a spider – just … urgh. He knows some dark elves worship a spider god, but you wouldn’t actually want to date her for fear of being eaten at the end of the evening. Anyway, if he wants to get Sorlor back probably someone should tell him to ditch the creepy crawly, but not in our bathtub thanks.
 
Big scaly dude broke his gate and didn’t seem remotely surprised by this. Caradoc imagines a conversation:
“Mum, broke the gate again!”
Deep sigh. “How did you get home.”
“Walked. Took me ten weeks.”
“Don’t know why they can’t make a gate which fits you.”
“Bigger gates mean more sacrifices.”
“Yeah but you’re a growing lad and it’s a sacrifice of someone else I’m quite willing to make – I’ll have a word with the High Priest.”
“Thanks Mum. Err, how do I get through this door?”
 
Big scaly dude pointed his sword/dagger thingy and some hailstones descended on those on top of the side of the box. This predictably flattened the souffle while leaving Q. and Laeromir complaining to each other about the inclement weather for the time of year until they noticed the souffle shaped pile of hailstones. Caradoc doesn’t think calling forth hailstones is probably an innate attribute of big scaly dudes as this would be inherently unfair of the universe so it’s more likely a feature of the sword/dagger thingy which means it is important. Could have been a spell store but if so why point it unless the big scaly dude was going for dramatic effect. Anyway, it probably represents a security risk as it will be a known item to the scaly powers that be and they will look for it. Possibly too big (when it stops being a dagger) for any member of the party to sensibly wield so probably flog it to some unsuspecting soul as soon as possible.
 
Caradoc thinks that the three spindly mages and the two sneaky things on the ceiling came in through the cave entrance because someone forgot to shut the door – Eliezure I’m looking at you, oh you’ve gone. Anyway it was a lot of fire power trailing around after us and there seem to be lots of different types of scaly things – the sneaky ones are particularly concerning as they can just hang around motionless pretending to be a wall or something. He doesn’t think he would have spotted them if they weren’t doing that weird lizard crawl thing along the ceiling.
 
The important thing is that at the end of the combat there didn’t appear to be anything scaly around to see what happened. This probably means that the scaly powers that be will assume that Eliezure took the box to hide away in his dark eleven vault deep underground or wherever dark elves keep their vaults. This would be logical because why would anyone in their right mind let a low-level party wonder around with a bit of big unfriendly golem unless of course it’s in the bloody prophecies. Then again Caradoc not sure Eliezure is in his right mind – have you seen that spider? But he assumes it’s an attempt at a cunning plan which may not work if there were any sneaky scaly things pretending to be walls at the end of the combat.
 
Anyway, pretty sure Eliezure will be elevated to the top of the four plus rock’s list which is good but we will still be posted somewhere high up too for any information we might possess meaning pliers and red hot pokers if we unwisely fall into their hands/claws/paws or whatever the four plus rock have on the end of their arms.
 
Caradoc sees two security risks in relation to Eliezure’s deception. One is that Umar can’t keep his mouth shut about “secrets” when in a pub and more importantly Laeromir, who will sooner or later figure out that the party is carrying around something of incalculable value to the scaly’s and will try to trade on that information. In fact, the same thought has occurred to Caradoc but doesn’t see the scaly’s paying up without the use of piers and red hot pokers and justifying this on spurious religious grounds. But Laeromir – let’s put it this way – Caradoc would assume no one has seen his grandmother for a very long time. So, Caradoc would suggest we either bump him off now or pump him full of disinformation and assume he unwisely buggers off to sell said disinformation and meets a slightly less untimely end, but one probably involving pliers and hot pokers. Bumping him off now has certain attractions – namely the +2 runic ring of prot that Caradoc has his eye on but those with scruples will probably vote this down.
 
Caradoc will be sufficiently concerned about Laeromir (and to a lesser extent Umar) to mention this to those with wisdom – Q. will nod wisely and say she may have a cunning plan but probably we ought to have a look in that sack first in case Eliezure left us any indications of what we should be doing next. Caradoc thinks it unlikely the elves will pass any useful information to us – while spoil the habits of a lifetime, but maybe he left us a bloody prophecy to scratch our balls over. Haven’t had a bloody prophecy for hours now and Caradoc getting withdrawal symptoms.