Cats (2019)/Transcript

♪ Are you blind when you're born? ♪
♪ Can you see in the dark? ♪
♪ Can you look at a king? ♪
♪ Would you sit on his throne? ♪
♪ Can you say of your bite ♪
♪ That it's worse than your bark? ♪
♪ Are you cock of the walk ♪
♪ When you're walking alone? ♪
♪ When you fall on your head ♪
♪ Do you land on your feet? ♪
♪ Are you tense when you sense ♪
♪ There's a storm in the air? ♪
♪ Can you find your way blind ♪
♪ When you're lost in the street? ♪
♪ Do you know how to go to the Heaviside Layer? ♪
♪ Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do ♪
♪ Jellicles do and Jellicles can ♪
♪ Jellicles can and Jellicles do ♪
♪ Jellicles do and Jellicles can ♪
♪ Jellicles can and Jellicles do ♪
♪ Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant? ♪
♪ Familiar with candle ♪ ♪ With book ♪
♪ And with bell? ♪
♪ Were you Whittington's friend? ♪
♪ The Pied Piper's assistant? ♪
♪ Have you been an alumnus of heaven or hell? ♪
♪ Are you mean like a minx? ♪ ♪ Are you lean like a lynx? ♪
♪ Are you keen to be seen ♪
♪ When you're smelling a rat? ♪
♪ Were you there when the pharaohs ♪
♪ Commissioned the Sphinx? ♪
♪ If you were and you are ♪
♪ You're a Jellicle cat ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ We can dive through the air ♪
♪ Like a flying trapeze ♪
♪ We can turn double somersaults ♪
♪ Bounce on a tire ♪
♪ We can run up a wall ♪
♪ We can swing through the trees ♪
♪ We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire ♪
♪ Jellicles can and Jellicles do ♪
♪ Jellicles can and Jellicles do ♪
♪ Jellicles can and Jellicles do ♪
♪ Jellicles can and Jellicles do ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Can you sing at the same time in more than one key? ♪
♪ Duets by Rossini? ♪ ♪ And waltzes by Strauss? ♪
♪ Ah... ♪
♪ And can you, as cats do, begin with a "C"? ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ That always triumphantly brings down the house ♪
♪ Jellicle cats are queens of the night ♪
♪ Singing at astronomical heights ♪
♪ Handling pieces from the Messiah ♪
♪ Hallelujah, angelical choir ♪
♪ The mystical divinity ♪
♪ Of unashamed felinity ♪
♪ Round the cathedral rang ♪
♪ "Vivat" ♪
♪ Life to the ♪
♪ Everlasting Cat ♪
♪ Feline, fearless ♪
♪ Faithful and true to others who do ♪
♪ What? ♪
♪ Jellicles do and Jellicles can ♪
♪ Jellicles can and Jellicles do ♪
♪ Jellicle cats sing Jellicle chants ♪
♪ Jellicles old and Jellicles new ♪
♪ Jellicle song and Jellicle dance ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Practical cats ♪
♪ Dramatical cats ♪
♪ Pragmatical cats ♪
♪ Fanatical cats ♪
♪ Oratorical cats ♪
♪ Delphicoracle cats ♪
♪ Skeptical cats ♪
♪ Dyspeptical cats ♪
♪ Romantical cats ♪
♪ Pedantical cats ♪
♪ Critical cats ♪
♪ Parasitical cats ♪
♪ Allegorical cats ♪
♪ Metaphorical cats ♪
♪ Statistical cats ♪
♪ And mystical cats ♪
♪ Political cats ♪
♪ Hypocritical cats ♪
♪ Clerical cats ♪
♪ Hysterical cats ♪
♪ Cynical cats ♪
♪ Rabbinical cats ♪
♪ And magical cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats, Jellicle ♪
♪ Songs for Jellicle cats. ♪
Going to the ball?
I wouldn't if I were you.
Could get dangerous.
You know, they say Macavity will win this year.
Macavity?
♪ There's no one like Macavity ♪ A wonderful magician.
♪ But a monster ♪
♪ Of depravity ♪ One moment, you see him...
Come on!
Magic.
So, what's your name?
Cat got your tongue?
Victoria. Victoria?
You must have another.
Another?
The naming of cats is a difficult matter.
It isn't just one of your holiday games.
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter when I tell you a cat must have three different names.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily, such as...
Peter. Augustus.
Alonzo. Or James.
But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular.
A name that's peculiar and more dignified.
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular?
Or spread out his whiskers?
Or cherish his pride?
But above and beyond, there's still one name left over.
And that is the name that you never will guess.
The name that no human research can discover, but the cat herself knows and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation, the reason, I tell you, is always the same.
Her mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of her name.
Her ineffable, effable, effanineffable, deep and inscrutable, singular name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name.
Mr. Mistoffelees the Magical Cat!
♪ Jellicle cats, come out tonight ♪
♪ Jellicle cats, come one, come all ♪
♪ The Jellicle moon is shining bright ♪
♪ Jellicles, come to the Jellicle Ball ♪
♪ Jellicle cats, come out tonight ♪
♪ J... ♪
♪ Jellicles, come to the ♪
♪ Jellicle Ball ♪
♪ Jellicle cats meet once a year ♪
♪ At the Jellicle Ball where we all rejoice ♪
♪ And the Jellicle leader will soon appear ♪
♪ And make what is known as the Jellicle choice ♪
♪ When Old Deuteronomy just before dawn ♪
♪ Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife ♪
♪ Announces the cat who can now be reborn ♪
♪ And come back to a different Jellicle life ♪
♪ For waiting up there is the Heaviside Layer ♪
♪ Full of wonders one Jellicle only will see ♪
♪ And Jellicles ask because Jellicles dare ♪
♪ Who will it be? ♪
♪ Who will it be? ♪ The Heaviside Layer?
Far, far up in the sky, from where the most deserving cat will be reborn into another life.
So they can be who they've always dreamed of being.
How will they be chosen?
By singing the song of themselves, of course.
Who they are and what they do.
Come.
Come and see a cat who's competing to be the Jellicle choice tonight.
♪ I have a Gumbie Cat in mind ♪
♪ Her name is Jennyanydots ♪
♪ Her coat is of the tabby kind ♪
♪ With tiger stripes and leopard spots ♪
♪ All day she sits upon the stair ♪
♪ Or on the step ♪
♪ Or on the mat ♪
♪ She sits and sits and sits ♪
♪ And sits ♪
♪ And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat ♪
♪ That's what makes a Gumbie Cat ♪
♪ But... ♪
♪ When the day's hustle and bustle is done ♪
♪ Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun ♪
♪ And when all the family's in bed and asleep ♪
♪ I tuck up my skirts to the basement to creep ♪
♪ I am deeply concerned ♪
♪ With the ways of the mice ♪
♪ Their behavior's not good ♪
♪ And their manners not nice ♪
♪ So when I have got them lined up on the matting ♪
♪ I teach them music, crocheting and tatting ♪
♪ Diddly dup, diddly dup, diddly dup wup boo ♪
♪ Diddy dup, diddly dup ♪
♪ Diddly dup wup boo ♪
♪ Diddy dup, diddly dup, diddly dup ♪
♪ Wah, wah ♪ ♪ A doo ba doo ba doo ♪
♪ Ba doo ba biddly da doo da ♪
♪ Waddly wah, waddly wah ♪ It's dinner and a show.
♪ Wah wah, waddly wah ♪
♪ Waddly wah, waddly wah wah wah ♪
♪ A doo ba doo ba doo ♪
♪ I have a Gumbie Cat in mind ♪
♪ Her name is Jennyanydots ♪ ♪ Jennyanydots ♪
♪ The curtain cord she likes to wind ♪
♪ And tie it into ♪
♪ Sailor knots ♪ - Ooh.
♪ She sits upon the windowsill ♪
♪ Or anything that's smooth and flat ♪
♪ She sits and sits ♪
♪ And sits and sits ♪
♪ And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat ♪
♪ That's what makes ♪
♪ A Gumbie Cat ♪
♪ But... ♪
♪ When the day's hustle and bustle is done ♪
♪ Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun ♪
♪ I think that the cockroaches need employment ♪
♪ To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment ♪
♪ So I formed from that lot of disorderly louts ♪
♪ A troop of well-disciplined, helpful Boy Scouts ♪
♪ With a purpose in life and a good deed to do ♪
♪ And I've even created ♪
♪ A beetles tattoo ♪
Cockroaches! Faces!
Mm.
And now for the icing on the cake.
Why does she want another Jellicle life?
I can't keep being in this kitchen.
Don't get cocky.
♪ So for Old Gumbie Cats let's now give three cheers ♪
♪ On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears ♪
♪ Three cheers, three cheers, three cheers ♪
♪ Thank you, my dears. ♪ Mm. Meow.
Hmm? It's a little old-fashioned, don't you think?
With the cockroaches dancing and the mice singing.
Well, actually, the mice were really good.
But it's all a bit old-school. Get out.
I'm just trying to offer you some feedback here.
Well... well, actually, I just thought I'd have a feed at the back.
Get out of this kitchen now!
Let's dance!
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger ♪
♪ Is a curious cat ♪ ♪ A curious cat ♪
♪ If you offer me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse ♪
♪ If you put me in a house, I would much prefer a flat ♪
♪ If you put me in a flat, then I'd rather have a house ♪
♪ If you set me on a mouse, then I only want a rat ♪
♪ If you set me on a rat, then I'd rather chase a mouse ♪
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat ♪
♪ And there isn't any call for me to shout it ♪
♪ For he will do as he do do ♪
♪ And there's no doing anything abou-awou-awou-out it ♪ No.
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore ♪
♪ When you let me in, then I want to go out ♪
♪ I'm always on the wrong side of every door ♪
♪ As soon as I get home, then I like to get about ♪
♪ I like to lie in a bureau drawer ♪
♪ But I make such a fuss if I can't get out ♪
♪ Whoo! ♪ Do you think he just got neutered?
'Cause those notes are, like... high.
You know...
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat ♪
♪ And there isn't any use for you to doubt it ♪ Lights. ♪ For he will do as he do do ♪
♪ And there's no doing anything ♪
♪ Abou-awou-awou-out it ♪
I can dance how he dances, too.
Look. Let me see.
It's easy.
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast ♪
♪ My disobliging ways is a matter of habit ♪
♪ If you offer me fish, then I always want a feast ♪
♪ When there isn't any fish ♪
♪ Well, darling, I'm not having rabbit ♪
♪ If you offer me cream, then I sniff and sneer ♪
♪ For I only like ♪
♪ What I find ♪
♪ For myself ♪
♪ Victoria... ♪ Stop milking it.
♪ So you'll catch me in it right up to my ears ♪
♪ If you put it away on the larder shelf, whoo! ♪
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger ♪
♪ Is artful and knowing ♪
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger ♪ ♪ Doesn't care for a cuddle ♪
♪ But I'll leap up in your lap in the middle of your sewing ♪
♪ For there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle ♪ Yeah!
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat ♪
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger ♪
♪ Doesn't care for a cuddle ♪ Nah, nah. No more milk.
Milk!
Whoo!
♪ The Rum Tum Tugger is ♪
♪ A curious cat ♪
♪ And there isn't any need for me to spout it ♪
♪ For he will do as he do do ♪
♪ And there's no ♪
♪ Doing anything ♪
♪ About ♪
♪ About... ♪ Wow.
♪ There's no doing anything, yeah ♪
♪ About ♪
♪ About it. ♪
♪ Remark the cat ♪
♪ Who hesitates towards you ♪
♪ In the light of the door ♪
♪ Which opens on her ♪
♪ Like a grin ♪
♪ You see the border of her coat ♪
♪ Is torn ♪
♪ And stained with sand ♪
♪ And you see ♪
♪ The corner of her eye twist ♪
♪ Like a crooked pin ♪
♪ And ♪ ♪ She haunted ♪
♪ Many a low resort ♪
♪ Near the grimy road ♪
♪ Of Tottenham Court ♪
♪ She flitted about ♪
♪ The no-man's-land ♪
♪ From the Rising Sun ♪
♪ To the Friend At Hand ♪
♪ And the postman sighed ♪
♪ As he scratched his head ♪
♪ You'd really have thought ♪
♪ She'd ought to be dead ♪
♪ And who'd have ever supposed that that ♪
♪ Was Grizabella ♪
♪ The Glamour Cat ♪
♪ Grizabella the Glamour Cat ♪
♪ Grizabella the Glamour Cat ♪
♪ Who'd have ever supposed ♪
♪ That that ♪
♪ Was Grizabella ♪
♪ The Glamour Cat. ♪
Who was she?
She used to be the star of the Windmill.
Then she went with Macavity.
Now she lives on the wasteland.
Good evening, all.
Oh, no. Look what the cat dragged in.
Oh, my. You look absolutely starving.
You can't attend the ball on an empty stomach.
So you're hoping to be chosen?
Yeah. He wants to be reborn as a thin cat so he can get fat all over again.
But he's going to lose. How dare you.
Don't listen to her. Don't you listen to him, because he is a complete and utter bas...
♪ I'm Bustopher Jones ♪
♪ I'm not skin and bones ♪
♪ In fact, I'm remarkably fat ♪
♪ I don't haunt pubs ♪
♪ I have eight or nine clubs ♪
♪ For I'm the St. James's Street cat ♪
♪ I'm the cat they all greet ♪
♪ As I walk down the street ♪
♪ In my coat of fastidious black ♪
♪ No commonplace mousers ♪
♪ Have such well-cut trousers ♪
♪ Or such an impeccable back ♪ Yeah, you've got it. Here we go.
Ready?
Scuse me.
Are you, by any chance, Jennyanydots?
Yes.
You know, your work should be on the world stage.
Yes.
And that face should be on a poster.
Meow!
♪ In the whole of St. James's, the smartest of names is ♪
♪ The name of this Brummell of cats ♪
♪ And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to ♪
♪ By Bustopher Jones in white spats ♪
♪ My visits are occasional to the Senior Educational ♪
♪ And it is against the rules ♪
♪ For any one cat to belong both to that ♪
♪ And the Joint Superior Schools ♪
♪ For a similar reason, when game is in season ♪
♪ I'm found not at Fox's but Blimp's ♪
♪ I am frequently seen ♪
♪ At the gay Stage and Screen ♪
♪ Which is famous for winkles and shrimps ♪
♪ In the season of venison ♪
♪ I give my benison ♪
♪ To the Pothunter's succulent bones ♪
♪ And just before noon's not a moment too soon ♪
Right, well, that's not going to work, is it?
Okay?
Look at you and look at me, and you know... you know that I'm sensitive about my size.
Okay? And yet you embarrass me. You...
That's what I say to you.
Okay? Now, listen.
You'll never get me up there on your own, so let's gather up a few more of the... cats, and we'll try again, shall we?
Yeah, okay.
Nice and good. Everybody ready?
And five, six, seven.
♪ And just before noon's ♪
♪ Not a moment too s... ♪ Hey!
♪ To drop in for a drink at the Dro... ♪
♪ O... o... ♪
♪ O... ones ♪ Thanks, Tugger.
♪ When I'm seen in a hurry ♪
♪ There's probably curry ♪
♪ At the Siamese or at the Glutton ♪
♪ If I look full of gloom ♪
♪ Then I've lunched at the Tomb ♪
♪ On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton ♪
♪ In the whole of St. James's, the smartest of names is ♪
♪ The name of this Brummell of cats ♪
♪ And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to ♪
♪ By Bustopher Jones in white ♪
♪ Bustopher Jones in white ♪
♪ Bustopher Jones in white spats ♪
♪ So much in this way passes Bustopher's day ♪
♪ At one club ♪ ♪ Or another I'm found ♪
♪ It can be no surprise that under our eyes ♪
♪ He has grown unmistakably round ♪
♪ I'm a 25-pounder or I am a bounder ♪
♪ And I'm putting on weight every day ♪
♪ But I'm so well-preserved because I've observed ♪
♪ All my life a routine, and I'd say ♪
♪ I am still in my prime, I shall last out my time ♪
♪ That's the word from the stoutest of cats ♪
♪ It must and it shall be spring in Pall Mall ♪
♪ While Bustopher Jones wears white ♪
♪ Bustopher Jones wears white ♪
♪ Bustopher Jones wears white. ♪ Spats?
Macavity!
Puss in Spats.
I love it.
Hungry?
Look like you haven't eaten for days.
Go for it.
Look at it.
Smell it.
Really tasty.
Well, come on, Puss in Spats. You can do it.
Ineffable.
Can we help you?
You really shouldn't be out alone.
I'm not alone. I'm with my friends.
Friends?
Looks like they've run away and left you.
Don't worry.
We'll look after you.
Won't we?
Why don't you come inside?
♪ Mungojerrie ♪ ♪ And Rumpelteazer ♪
♪ We're a notorious couple of cats ♪
♪ As knockabout clowns ♪ ♪ Quick-change comedians ♪
♪ Tightrope walkers ♪ ♪ And acrobats ♪
♪ We have an extensive reputation ♪
♪ We make our home in Victoria Grove ♪
♪ This is merely our center of operation ♪
♪ For we are incurably given to rove ♪
♪ We are very well-known ♪
♪ In Cornwall Gardens, in Launceston Place ♪
♪ And in Kensington Square ♪
♪ We have really a little more reputation ♪
♪ Than a couple of cats can very well bear ♪ No photos, right?
♪ If the area window is found ajar ♪
♪ And the bedroom looks like a field of w*r ♪
♪ If a tile or two ♪
♪ Comes loose on the roof ♪
♪ Which presently fails ♪
♪ To be waterproof ♪
♪ If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chest ♪
♪ And you can't find one of your winter vests ♪
♪ Or after supper one of the girls ♪
♪ Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls ♪
♪ The family will say ♪
♪ "It's that horrible cat" ♪
♪ It was Mungojerrie ♪
♪ Or Rumpelteazer ♪
♪ And most of the time they leave it at that ♪
♪ Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer ♪
♪ Have a very unusual gift of the gab ♪
♪ We're highly efficient cat burglars as well ♪
♪ And remarkably smart ♪
♪ At the smash-and-grab ♪
♪ We make our home in Victoria Grove ♪
♪ We have no regular occupation ♪
♪ We are plausible fellows who like to engage ♪
♪ A friendly policeman in conversation ♪ Hello, police officer.
I bought these for her myself.
You did what? Wait.
♪ When the family assembles ♪
♪ For Sunday dinner ♪
♪ Their minds made up that they won't get thinner ♪
♪ On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens ♪
♪ Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes ♪
♪ And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow ♪
♪ "I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow ♪
♪ For the joint is gone from the oven like that" ♪
♪ Then the family will say ♪
♪ "It's that horrible cat" ♪
♪ It was Mungojerrie ♪
♪ Or Rumpelteazer ♪
♪ And most of the time they leave it at that ♪
♪ Mungojerrie ♪ ♪ And Rumpelteazer ♪
♪ Have a wonderful way of working together ♪
♪ And some of the time you would ♪
♪ Say it was luck ♪
♪ And some of the time ♪
♪ You would say it was weather ♪
♪ We go through the house like a hurricane ♪
♪ And no sober person could take his oath ♪
♪ Was it Mungojerrie? ♪
♪ Or Rumpelteazer? ♪
♪ Or could you have sworn that it might have been both? ♪
♪ And when you hear a dining room smash ♪
♪ Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash ♪
♪ Or down from the library there comes a loud ping ♪
♪ From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming ♪
♪ Then the family will say ♪
♪ "Now, which was which cat?" ♪
♪ It was Mungojerrie ♪
♪ And ♪
♪ Rumpelteazer ♪
♪ And there's nothing at all to be done about that. ♪
I'm coming, Victoria!
Don't worry. Stay there.
Here, doggy. Fetch!
I've been looking for you everywhere.
I-I thought you'd miss the arrival.
What arrival?
Of Old Deuteronomy.
Where am I?
It seems we're on a barge in the middle of the Thames.
What are you doing here?
I haven't got the faintest clue.
And I've lost all of my cockroaches.
I can't be on a barge in the middle of the Thames.
I'm supposed to be going to the ball.
Oh, no. You're not going anywhere, Puss in Spats.
I'm determined to win, and I prefer my competition chained up.
Growltiger.
Keep them here.
Meow!
He's called me that twice now... "Puss in Spats."
Like it's sort of a joke, and I rather like it, so the joke's on him.
Who are you?
Growltiger.
♪ I'm a Bravo Cat, I travel on a barge ♪
♪ In fact, I am the roughest cat ♪
♪ Who ever roamed at large ♪
♪ From Gravesend up to Oxford ♪
♪ I pursue my evil aims ♪
♪ Rejoicing in my title of ♪
♪ The Terror of the "Taymes" ♪ Right, no, see, that doesn't rhyme.
You can't just say "Taymes" 'cause it rhymes with "aims."
It's-it's the River Thames.
Ow!
Okay, so it's Growl... Growltiger, you say?
Yep, I think I've got it.
I think that's it.
I-I fully understand now who it is.
Thank you for telling me.
Where have you been?
Oh, it-it's mine.
Yet another trick that went wrong.
You're just in time to see Old Deuteronomy.
Who is Old Deuteronomy?
♪ Old Deuteronomy's ♪
♪ Lived a long time ♪
♪ She's a cat who has lived ♪
♪ Many lives in succession ♪
♪ She was famous in proverb ♪
♪ And famous in rhyme ♪
♪ A long while before Queen Victoria's accession ♪
♪ Old Deuteronomy's ♪
♪ Lived many lives ♪
♪ You know, I am tempted to say 99 ♪
♪ And her numerous progeny ♪
♪ Prospers and thrives ♪
♪ And the village is proud of her ♪
♪ In her decline ♪
♪ At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy ♪
♪ When she sits in the sun ♪
♪ On the vicarage wall ♪
♪ Oldest inhabitant croaks ♪
♪ "Well, of all things ♪
♪ "Can it be really? ♪
♪ "Yes, no, ho, hi ♪
♪ "Oh, my eye ♪
♪ "My mind may be wandering, but I confess ♪
♪ I believe it is Old Deuteronomy" ♪
♪ "Well, of all things ♪
♪ "Can it be really? ♪
♪ "Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye ♪
♪ "My mind may be wandering, but I confess ♪
♪ I believe it is Old Deuteronomy" ♪
♪ "Well, of all things ♪
♪ "Can it be really? ♪
♪ "Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye ♪
♪ "My mind may be wandering, but I confess ♪
♪ I believe it is Old Deuteronomy" ♪
♪ "Well, of all things ♪
♪ "Can it be really? ♪
♪ Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye" ♪
♪ My legs may be tottery ♪
♪ I must go slow ♪
♪ And be careful of Old Deuteronomy ♪
♪ Jellicle cats meet once a year ♪
♪ On the night we make the Jellicle choice ♪
♪ And now the Jellicle leader is here ♪
♪ Jellicle cats can all rejoice ♪ Who will it be?
Who will it be?
Who will it be? Who will it be?
♪ Jellicle cats, come out tonight ♪
♪ Jellicle cats, come one, come all ♪
♪ The Jellicle moon is shining bright ♪
♪ Jellicles, come to the Jellicle Ball ♪
♪ Jellicle cats are black and white ♪
♪ Jellicle cats are rather small ♪
♪ Jellicle cats are merry and bright ♪
♪ And pleasant to hear when they caterwaul ♪
♪ Jellicle cats ♪
♪ Have cheerful faces ♪
♪ Jellicle cats have bright black eyes ♪
♪ We like to practice our airs and graces ♪
♪ And wait for the Jellicle moon to rise ♪
♪ Jellicle cats develop slowly ♪
♪ Jellicle cats are not too big ♪
♪ Jellicle cats are roly-poly ♪
♪ We know how to dance a gavotte and a jig ♪
♪ Until the Jellicle moon appears ♪
♪ We make our toilette and take our repose ♪
♪ Jellicles wash behind their ears ♪
♪ Jellicles dry between their toes ♪
♪ Jellicle cats are white and black ♪
♪ Jellicle cats are of moderate size ♪
♪ Jellicles jump like a jumping jack ♪
♪ Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes ♪
♪ Jellicle cats are black and white ♪
♪ Jellicle cats, as we said, are small ♪
♪ If it happens to be a stormy night ♪
♪ We'll practice a caper or two in the hall ♪
♪ If it happens the sun is shining bright ♪
♪ You would say we had nothing to do at all ♪
♪ We are resting and saving ourselves to be right ♪
♪ For the Jellicle moon and the Jellicle Ball ♪
♪ Jellicle cats, come out tonight ♪
♪ Jellicle cats, come one, come all ♪
♪ The Jellicle moon is shining bright ♪
♪ Jellicles, come to the Jellicle Ball ♪
♪ Jellicle cats, come out tonight ♪
♪ Jellicle cats, come one, come all ♪
♪ The Jellicle moon is shining bright ♪
♪ Jellicles, come to the Jellicle Ball. ♪
It's party time!
With your permission, of course.
♪ Silence ♪
♪ Not a sound from the pavement ♪
♪ Has the moon lost her memory? ♪
♪ She is smiling alone ♪
♪ In the lamplight ♪
♪ The withered leaves collect at my feet ♪
♪ And the wind ♪
♪ Begins to moan ♪
♪ Every streetlamp ♪
♪ Seems to beat ♪
♪ A fatalistic warning ♪
♪ Someone mutters ♪
♪ And the streetlamp gutters ♪
♪ And soon it will be morning ♪
♪ Memory ♪
♪ All alone in the moonlight ♪
♪ I can smile at the old days ♪
♪ I was beautiful then ♪
♪ I remember ♪
♪ The time I knew what happiness was ♪
♪ Let the memory live ♪
♪ Again. ♪
♪ Follow me home ♪
♪ If you dare to ♪
♪ I wouldn't know ♪
♪ Where to lead you ♪
♪ Should I take chances ♪
♪ When no one took chances on me? ♪
♪ So I watch from the dark, wait for my life to start ♪
♪ With no beauty in my memory ♪
♪ All that I wanted ♪
♪ Was to be wanted ♪
♪ Too young to wander London streets ♪
♪ Alone and haunted ♪
♪ Born into nothing ♪
♪ At least you have something ♪
♪ Something to cling to ♪
♪ Visions of dazzling rooms ♪
♪ I'll never get let into ♪
♪ And the memories were lost long ago ♪
♪ But at least you have beautiful ghosts ♪
♪ And so maybe my home isn't what I had known ♪
♪ What I thought it would be ♪
♪ But I feel so alive ♪
♪ With these phantoms of night ♪
♪ And I know that this life isn't safe ♪
♪ But it's wild and it's free ♪
♪ All that I wanted ♪
♪ Was to be wanted ♪
♪ I'll never wander London streets ♪
♪ Alone and haunted ♪
♪ Born into nothing ♪
♪ With them I have something ♪
♪ Something to cling to ♪
♪ I never knew I'd love this world they let me into ♪
♪ And the memories were lost long ago ♪
♪ So I'll dance with these beautiful ghosts ♪
♪ The memories were lost long ago ♪
♪ So I'll dance with these beautiful ♪
♪ Ghosts. ♪
♪ The moments of happiness ♪
♪ We had the experience ♪
♪ But missed the meaning ♪
♪ And approach to the meaning ♪
♪ Restores the experience ♪
♪ In a different form ♪
♪ Beyond any meaning ♪
♪ We can assign to happiness ♪
♪ The past experience ♪
♪ Revived in the meaning ♪
♪ Is not the experience ♪
♪ Of one life only ♪
♪ But of many generations ♪
♪ Not forgetting ♪
♪ Something that is probably quite ♪
♪ Ineffable. ♪
Are you all right, my dear?
We haven't met before, have we?
No.
I'm not from round here.
I was abandoned.
Oh, poor thing.
Would you like to see me make the Jellicle choice?
Am I allowed? Why wouldn't you be allowed?
I'm not a Jellicle.
Not yet, perhaps.
Come. We're about to begin.
Gus.
Gus, it's your call.
I just wanted to wish you... jolly good luck. Oh.
I'm a tremendous fan of your work.
Mm.
What's your name? Mr. Mistoffelees.
I'm a Magic Cat, you see.
Oh.
Do you ever get nervous? No, no.
It's all practice, practice, practice.
Then nothing can go wrong.
T-Touch wood.
I've never played The Egyptian before.
Gus... the Theatre Cat.
Cross paws.
Mm.
♪ Gus is the cat ♪
♪ At the theater door ♪
♪ Uh, my name, as I ought to have told you before ♪
♪ Is really Asparagus ♪
♪ But that's such a fuss to pronounce ♪
♪ That they usually call me just Gus ♪ Mm.
♪ My coat's very shabby ♪
♪ I'm thin as a rake ♪
♪ And I suffer from palsy which makes my paws shake ♪
♪ Yet I was, in my youth, quite the smartest of cats ♪
♪ Though no longer a terror to mice or to rats ♪
♪ For I'm not the cat that I was in my prime ♪
♪ Though my name was quite famous ♪
♪ They say, in my time ♪
♪ And whenever I join my friends at their club ♪
♪ Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub ♪
♪ I love to regale them, if someone else pays ♪
♪ With anecdotes drawn from my palmiest days ♪
♪ For I once was a star of the highest degree ♪
♪ I have acted with Irving ♪
♪ I've acted with Tree ♪
♪ And I like to recall my success on the halls ♪
♪ When the gallery once gave me seven catcalls ♪
♪ But my grandest creation ♪
♪ As I love to tell ♪
♪ Was Firefrorefiddle ♪
♪ The Fiend of the Fell ♪
♪ Then if someone will give me a toothful of gin ♪
♪ I will tell how I once played a part in East Lynne ♪
♪ In a Shakespeare performance I once walked on pat ♪
♪ When some actor suggested the need for a cat ♪
♪ And I say now these kittens ♪
♪ They do not get trained ♪
♪ As we did in the days when Victoria reigned ♪
♪ They do not get drilled in a regular troupe ♪
♪ And they think it is smart just to jump through a hoop ♪
♪ And I say as I scratch myself with my claws ♪
♪ Well, the theater is certainly not what it was ♪
♪ These modern productions are all very well ♪
♪ But there's nothing to equal ♪
♪ From what I hear tell ♪
♪ That moment of mystery ♪
♪ When I made history ♪
♪ As Firefrorefiddle ♪
♪ The Fiend of the Fell... ♪
I could do it again, you know.
Bravo!
Bravo, Gus.
Could I trouble you for an au... an autograph, sir?
To see Firefrorefiddle come alive tonight was truly inspirational and scary.
Macavity!
The next contestant is Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat.
♪ Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat ♪
♪ The Cat of the Railway Train ♪
♪ There's a whisper down the line at 11:39 ♪
♪ When the Night Mail's ready to depart ♪
♪ Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble? ♪
♪ "Has he gone to hunt the thimble? ♪
♪ We must find him or the train can't start" ♪
♪ All the guards and all the porters ♪
♪ And the stationmaster's daughters ♪
♪ Would be searching high and low ♪
♪ Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble? ♪
♪ "For unless he's very nimble ♪
♪ Then the Night Mail just can't go" ♪
♪ At 11:42 with the signal overdue ♪
♪ And the passengers all frantic to a man ♪
♪ That's when I would appear ♪
♪ And I'd saunter to the rear ♪
♪ I'd been busy in the luggage van ♪
♪ Then he gives one flash of his glass-green eyes ♪
♪ And the signal goes "all clear" ♪
♪ And we're off at last for the northern part ♪
♪ Of the Northern Hemisphere ♪
♪ Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat ♪
♪ Skimbleshanks ♪
♪ The Railway Cat ♪
♪ Skimbleshanks, Skimbleshanks ♪
♪ Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat ♪
♪ The Cat of the Railway Train ♪
♪ You could say that by and large ♪
♪ It was me who was in charge of the Sleeping Car Express ♪
♪ From the driver and the guards ♪
♪ To the bagmen playing cards ♪
♪ I would supervise them all, more or less ♪
♪ I will watch you without winking ♪
♪ And I'll see what you are thinking ♪
♪ And it's certain that I wouldn't approve ♪
♪ Of hilarity and riot ♪
♪ So the folk are very quiet ♪
♪ When Skimble is about and on the move ♪
♪ You can play no pranks with Skimbleshanks ♪
♪ I'm a cat that cannot be ignored ♪
♪ So nothing goes wrong on the Northern Mail ♪
♪ When Skimbleshanks is aboard ♪
♪ Oh, it's very pleasant ♪
♪ When you've found your little den with your name ♪
♪ Written up on the door ♪ ♪ Whoo-whoo! ♪
♪ And the berth is very neat with a newly folded sheet ♪
♪ And there's not a speck of dust on the floor ♪
♪ Then the guard looks in politely ♪
♪ And will ask you very brightly ♪
♪ "Do you like your morning tea ♪
♪ Weak or strong?" ♪
♪ But I was just behind him and was ready to remind him ♪
♪ For Skimble won't let anything go wrong ♪
♪ When you creep into your cozy berths ♪
♪ And pull up the counterpane ♪
♪ You ought to reflect that it's very nice ♪
♪ To know that you won't be ♪
♪ Bothered by mice ♪
♪ You can leave all that to the Railway Cat ♪
♪ The Cat of the Railway Train ♪
♪ Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat ♪
♪ The Cat of the Railway Train ♪
♪ And he gives you a wave of his long brown tail ♪
♪ Which says "I'll see you again" ♪
♪ You will meet without fail on the Midnight Mail ♪
♪ The Cat of the Railway ♪
♪ Train... ♪
Macavity.
♪ Macavity's a Mystery Cat ♪
♪ He's called the Hidden Paw ♪
♪ For he's the master criminal ♪
♪ Who can defy the law ♪
♪ He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard ♪
♪ The Flying Squad's despair ♪
♪ For when they reach the scene of crime ♪
♪ Macavity's not there ♪
♪ Macavity, Macavity ♪
♪ There's no one like Macavity ♪
♪ He's broken every human law ♪
♪ He breaks the law of gravity ♪
♪ His powers of levitation ♪
♪ Would make a fakir stare ♪
♪ But when they reach the scene of crime ♪
♪ Macavity's not there ♪
♪ Macavity's a ginger cat ♪
♪ He's very tall and thin ♪
♪ You would know him if you saw him ♪
♪ For his eyes are sunken in ♪
♪ His brow is deeply lined with thought ♪
♪ His head is highly domed ♪
♪ His coat is dusty from neglect ♪
♪ His whiskers are uncombed ♪
♪ He sways his head from side to side ♪
♪ With movements like a snake ♪
♪ And when you think he's half asleep ♪
♪ He's always ♪
♪ Wide awake! ♪
♪ Macavity, Macavity ♪
♪ There's no one like Macavity ♪
♪ For he's a fiend in feline shape ♪
♪ A monster of depravity ♪
♪ You may meet him in a bystreet ♪
♪ You may see him in the square ♪
♪ But when a crime's discovered, then ♪
♪ Macavity's not there ♪
♪ He's outwardly respectable ♪
♪ I know he cheats at cards ♪
♪ And his footprints are not found ♪
♪ In a-any files ♪
♪ Of Scotland Yard's ♪
♪ And when the larder's looted ♪
♪ And the jewel case is rifled ♪
♪ Or when the milk is missing ♪
♪ Or another Peke's been stifled ♪
♪ Or the greenhouse glass is broken ♪
♪ And the trellis past repair ♪
♪ There's the wonder of the thing ♪
♪ Macavity's not there ♪
♪ Macavity, Macavity ♪
♪ There's no one like Macavity ♪
♪ There never was a cat of such ♪
♪ Deceitfulness and suavity ♪
♪ He always has an alibi ♪
♪ And one or two to spare ♪
♪ Whatever time the deed took place ♪
♪ Macavity wasn't there ♪
♪ And they say that all the cats ♪
♪ Whose wicked deeds are widely known ♪
♪ I might mention Mungojerrie ♪
♪ Rumpelteazer, Griddlebone ♪
♪ Are nothing more than agents ♪
♪ For the cat who all the time ♪
♪ Just controls the operations ♪
♪ The Napoleon of crime ♪
Mwah!
♪ Macavity, Macavity ♪
♪ There's no one like Macavity ♪
♪ He's a fiend in feline shape ♪
♪ A monster of depravity ♪
♪ You may meet him in a bystreet ♪
♪ You may see him in a square ♪
♪ But when a crime's discovered, then ♪
♪ Macavity, Macavity ♪
♪ Macavity ♪
♪ Macavity ♪
♪ When a crime's discovered, then ♪
♪ Macavity's not there. ♪ Aha!
Yes!
The time has come to make the Jellicle choice.
Old Deuteronomy, if you would.
As I am the only contestant left.
And, quite obviously, the best.
And so...
Never.
I choose the cat that deserves a new life.
I judge a cat by its soul.
He's got soul.
I've got plenty of soul.
You're a cheat, Macavity.
Mm.
Deuteronomy.
I am going to the Heaviside Layer.
I demand that you grant me another life.
You will never go to the Heaviside Layer.
Oh? We'll see about that.
Growltiger, make her walk the plank.
Say it's me...
...or you'll drown in that river.
You'll never be my Jellicle choice.
This is your last chance.
Never!
Where is Old Deuteronomy?
Where is she?
We don't know.
Where is she?
Look, it was only a bit of fun.
We didn't know he was gonna take Old Deut.
There must be something we can do.
We can't just magic her back.
Yes, we can.
Yes, we can.
You're a magician.
What?
It's not a bad idea.
Might be worth a try.
Really, I can't.
You could try.
Good luck.
You can do it.
Cross paws.
Can we get a spotlight?
Please don't make me do this.
And a drumroll, please.
♪ The greatest magicians ♪
♪ Have something to learn ♪
♪ From Mr. Mistoffelees' conjuring turn ♪
♪ And we all say ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ I'm quiet and small ♪
♪ I am black ♪
♪ From my ears to the tip of my tail ♪
♪ I can creep through the tiniest crack ♪
♪ I can walk on the narrowest rail ♪
♪ I can pick any card from a pack ♪
♪ I am equally cunning with dice ♪
♪ I am always deceiving you into believing ♪
♪ That you're only hunting for mice ♪
♪ I can play any trick with a cork ♪
♪ Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste ♪
♪ If you look for a knife ♪
♪ Or a fork ♪
♪ And you think it is merely misplaced ♪
♪ You have seen it one moment, and then it is gone ♪
♪ But you find it next week lying out on the lawn ♪
♪ And we all say ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
You can do this.
♪ My manner is vague and aloof ♪
♪ You would think there was nobody shyer ♪
♪ But my voice has been heard on the roof ♪
♪ When I was curled up by the fire ♪
♪ And I've sometimes been heard by the fire ♪
♪ When I was about on the roof ♪
♪ At least they all heard that somebody purred ♪
♪ Which is incontestable proof ♪
♪ Of my singular magical powers ♪
♪ And I've known the family to call ♪
♪ Me in from the garden for hours ♪
♪ When I was asleep in the hall ♪
♪ And not long ago this phenomenal cat ♪
♪ Produced seven kittens right out of a hat ♪ Mr. Mistoffelees?
My hero.
Oh. Don't go.
Oh, no. Falling.
♪ And they all say ♪ Oh, gosh. Run!
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪ Please.
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ And we all say ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ And we all say ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪
♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever as magical ♪
♪ Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪ ♪ So clever ♪
♪ As you ♪
♪ As me ♪ ♪ "Oh, well, I never ♪
♪ "Was there ever a cat so clever ♪
♪ As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" ♪ Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the marvelous, magical Mr. Mistoffelees.
She's tricked me.
I will get there.
I will get to the Heaviside Layer.
I will win!
You'll all see.
Come with me!
Meow!
Don't mess with the crazy cat lady.
Firefrorefiddle!
Yes!
♪ The Fiend of the Fell. ♪
Oh, you fiend.
♪ Daylight ♪
♪ See the dew on a sunflower ♪
♪ And a rose that is fading ♪
♪ Roses wither away ♪
♪ Like the sunflower ♪
♪ I yearn to turn my face to the dawn ♪
♪ I am waiting ♪
♪ For the day. ♪
Sing.
♪ Memory ♪
♪ Turn your face to the moonlight ♪
♪ Let your memory lead you ♪
♪ Open up, enter in ♪
♪ If you find there ♪
♪ The meaning of what happiness is ♪
♪ Then a new life ♪
♪ Will begin ♪
♪ Memory ♪
♪ All alone in the moonlight ♪
♪ I can smile at the old days ♪
♪ I was beautiful then ♪
♪ I remember ♪
♪ The time I knew what happiness was ♪
♪ Let the memory ♪
♪ Live again ♪
♪ Burnt-out ends ♪
♪ Of smoky days ♪
♪ The stale, cold smell ♪
♪ Of morning ♪
♪ The streetlamp dies ♪
♪ Another night is over ♪
♪ Another day is dawning ♪
♪ Daylight ♪
♪ I must wait for the sunrise ♪
♪ I must think of a new life ♪
♪ And I mustn't give in ♪
♪ When the dawn comes ♪
♪ Tonight will be a memory, too ♪
♪ And a new day ♪
♪ Will begin ♪
♪ Sunlight through the trees in summer ♪
♪ Endless masquerading ♪
♪ Like a flower ♪
♪ As the dawn is breaking ♪
♪ The memory ♪
♪ Is fading ♪
♪ Touch me ♪
♪ It's so easy to leave me ♪
♪ All alone with the memory ♪
♪ Of my days in the sun ♪
♪ If you touch me ♪
♪ You'll understand what happiness is ♪
♪ Look ♪
♪ A new day ♪
♪ Has begun. ♪
You are the Jellicle choice.
Thank you.
♪ All that you wanted ♪
♪ Was to be wanted ♪
♪ Never to wander London streets ♪
♪ Alone and haunted ♪
♪ All your memories of pain ♪
♪ Let them go ♪
♪ And you'll dance with these beautiful ghosts. ♪
♪ Up, up, up ♪
♪ Past the Russell Hotel ♪
♪ Up, up, up, up ♪
♪ To the Heaviside Layer ♪
♪ Up, up, up ♪
♪ Past the Russell Hotel ♪
♪ Up, up, up, up ♪
♪ To the Heaviside Layer ♪
♪ Up, up, up ♪
♪ Past the Russell Hotel ♪
♪ Up, up, up, up ♪
♪ To the Heaviside Layer ♪
♪ Up, up, up ♪
♪ Past the Russell Hotel ♪
♪ Up, up, up, up ♪
♪ To the Heaviside Layer ♪
♪ Up, up, up ♪
♪ Past the Jellicle moon ♪
♪ Up, up, up, up ♪
♪ To the Heaviside Layer ♪
♪ Up, up, up ♪
♪ Past the Jellicle moon ♪
♪ Up, up, up, up ♪
♪ To the Heaviside Layer. ♪
Up, up, up!
Heaviside Layer, here I c...
Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Ineffable.
You're alive!
♪ The mystical divinity ♪
♪ Of unashamed ♪
♪ Felinity ♪
♪ Round the cathedral rang ♪
♪ "Vivat" ♪
♪ Life to the ♪
♪ Everlasting ♪
♪ Cat. ♪
♪ You've heard of several kinds of cat ♪
♪ And my opinion now is that ♪
♪ You should need no interpreter ♪
♪ To understand our character ♪
♪ You've learned enough to take the view ♪
♪ That cats are very much like you ♪
♪ You've seen us both at work and games ♪
♪ And learnt about our proper names ♪
♪ Our habits and our habitat ♪
♪ But how would you ad-dress a cat? ♪
♪ So first your memory I'll jog ♪
♪ And say a cat is not ♪
♪ A dog ♪
♪ So first your memory I'll jog ♪
♪ And say a cat is not ♪
♪ A dog ♪
♪ With cats ♪
♪ Some say one rule is true ♪
♪ Don't speak till you ♪
♪ Are spoken to ♪
♪ Myself, I do not hold with that ♪
♪ I say you should ad-dress a cat ♪
♪ But always bear in mind that he ♪
♪ Resents familiarity ♪
♪ You bow ♪
♪ And taking off your hat ♪
♪ Ad-dress him in this form ♪
♪ O Cat ♪
♪ O Cat ♪
♪ Before a cat will condescend ♪
♪ To treat you as a trusted friend ♪
♪ Some little token of esteem ♪
♪ Is needed, like a dish of cream ♪
♪ Or you might now and then supply ♪
♪ Some caviar or Strasbourg pie ♪
♪ Some potted grouse or salmon paste ♪
♪ He's sure to have his personal taste ♪
♪ And so in time you reach your aim ♪
♪ And call him ♪
♪ By his name ♪
♪ A cat's entitled to expect ♪
♪ These evidences of respect ♪
♪ So this is this ♪
♪ And that is that ♪
♪ And that's how you ad-dress ♪
♪ A cat. ♪
I believe you truly are a Jellicle cat.
A dear little cat.
Category:Cats (2019)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Universal Pictures Transcripts