Hearts and Hooves Day/Transcript

: As the school bell rings nearby and foals can be heard happily departing, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are in their clubhouse making a grand mess as they attempt to make a Hearts and Hooves Day card for their teacher ~
: Apple Bloom: Hmmm... I just don't feel like it's quite finished.
: Sweetie Belle: I know what you mean. If it's for Ms. Cheerilee, it needs to be perfect. Hearts and Hooves Day only comes once a year, after all.
: Scootaloo: I say we add a little more ribbon!
: Sweetie Belle: Yeah.
: Apple Bloom: Yeah.
: Sweetie Belle: And just a tiny bit more lace.
: Apple Bloom: A few more hoof-prints.
: Scootaloo: Glitter! It could definitely use just a little more glitter! [she dumps out an entire bucket]
: Apple Bloom: Now that'll show Ms. Cheerilee how much we care about her! Just have to get it to the Hearts and Hooves party at school.
: [the magnificent, heart-shaped card looks more like an elaborate area rug than a card, its tail end futily tucked into an ordinary envelope]
: Scootaloo: I think we're gonna need a bigger envelope.
: [ theme ]
: The next day at school, everypony is happily exchanging cards while the CMC present their massive gift to their teacher at the front of the room ~
: Cheerilee: It's lovely! And so... big!
: Apple Bloom: We just wanted to let you know that we think you're the best teacher in the whole wide world! And we think you're super! And that we love you so, so much! And we want you to have the best Hearts and Hooves Day-
: All three in unison: Ever!
: Cheerilee: Thank you so much girls. I love it, I really do.
: Sweetie Belle: I'm sure it's nothing compared to the gifts you've gotten from your very special somepony.
: Cheerilee: Oh, I don't have a very special somepony at the moment.
: [the three girls are clearly stupefied by this revelation]
: Apple Bloom: Really?!
: Sweetie Belle: How could somepony as amazing as you not have a very special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day?!
: [Cheerilee looks a little agitated but clears the expression from her face before turning to face them]
: Cheerilee: It's alright Sweetie Belle. I have lots of good friends and wonderful students who care about me very much. I'm going to have an absolutely terrific Hearts and Hooves Day. Alright everypony! Who's ready to play pin the heart on the pony?
: [they all voice their agreement as Cheerilee goes to join them]
: Apple Bloom: If anypony deserves a very special somepony, it's her.
: [Sweetie Belle gasps loudly before bursting into a massive grin]
: Apple Bloom: Uh, you alright?
: Sweetie Belle: I'm more than alright; I've just come up with the best idea ever! We're gonna find Ms. Cheerilee a very special somepony!
: Apple Bloom: That is the best idea ever!
: Sweetie Belle: Toooold you.
: Apple Bloom: So what are we waiting for?! Hearts and Hooves Day is almost over! Let's get out there and find somepony special for Cheerilee already.
: Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
: Scootaloo: Let's do it!
: Sweetie Belle: Now it can't be just any pony. Ms. Cheerilee is one of the best mares in Ponyville. She deserves to have one of the best stallions as her very special somepony.
: [They sing the Hearts and Hooves Day Song]
: Apple Bloom: Wait a minute, let me get this straight. Are you talkin' 'bout my brother?
: [back at Sweet Apple Acres, they spy on Big Mac's work while hidden inside the barn door]
: Scootaloo: Sweetie Belle is right. Big McIntosh is the perfect match for Ms. Cheerilee. He's really nice, super hard-working...
: Apple Bloom: Hmmm... But he's also pretty shy. He's never gonna ask Ms. Cheerilee to be his very special somepony.
: Sweetie Belle: Maybe he doesn't have to.
: Apple Bloom: Huh?
: Sweetie Belle: If we can get Big Mac and Ms. Cheerilee in a really romantic setting, I bet she'll ask him.
: Scootaloo: Sounds like a plan to me.
: Apple Bloom: So? What are we waiting for? Let's get out there and create the perfect date!
: All Three: Yay! Woo-hoo!
: [Later, they arrange a picnic beneath the shade of some trees in a park.]
: Sweetie Belle: Flowers! Don't forget the flowers!
: Apple Bloom: Oops! I'm on it!
: Scootaloo: They're coming! This is gonna be perfect! Ms. Cheerilee is gonna have the best Hearts and Hooves Day ever!
: Sweetie Belle: With her new very special somepony!
: Cheerile: Hi girls!
: Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: Hi Ms. Cheerilee!
: Cheerilee: So you three said you needed help identifying a tree you found here near the gazebo?
: [They nod and point to what is obviously an apple tree.]
: Cheerilee: [deadpanning] That's an apple tree.
: Apple Bloom: Is it? [all three giggling]
: [Big Mac arrives with a toolbox and extracts a hammer, confusedly looking up to the awning that wraps around the cluster of trees providing shade.]
: Apple Bloom: Oh, sorry big brother. We went and fixed up the gazebo all on our own. [pushes him towards Cheerilee] See?
: Scootaloo: [nudges Cheerilee towards Big Mac] As long as you're here, why not have a bite to eat from this romantic looking picnic? Oh gosh, seems like there's only room for two.
: Apple Bloom: I... guess we'll just be going then. Heh...
: [They dart away before Sweetie Belle leans back in to set the needle on a phonograph, playing what some might consider romantic, if antiquated music. They then hide in a bush and observe.]
: Scootaloo: You really think this'll work?
: Sweetie Belle: Of course it will work. They're perfect for each other.
: Cheerilee: Beautiful day we're having...
: Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
: Cheerilee: Any big plans for tonight?
: Big McIntosh: Nope.
: [long, awkward silence]
: Apple Bloom: Oh, come on Ms. Cheerilee. Ask him to be your very special somepony.
: Sweetie Belle: Oh my gosh, look!
: [Cheerilee leans in romantically, exciting the girls.]
: Cheeriee: Big Mac...
: Big McIntosh: Eeyup?
: Cheerilee: You have something stuck in your teeth.
: [the record scratches to a stop]
: Sweetie Belle: [leaning from the bush] OH, COME ON!
: [the record resumes playing discordantly]
: Cheerilee: Well, this has been... strange.
: Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
: Cheerilee: I need to get going, but it's always great running into a good friend.
: Big McIntosh: Yup!
: [they go their separate ways; the girls walk through down dejected as they try to figure out what went wrong]
: Apple Bloom: Do you think it just wasn't romantic enough?
: Scootaloo: Maybe it was too romantic.
: Sweetie Belle: Either way, we failed.
: Apple Bloom: There's gotta be something else we could- Ugh!
: [The girls crash into Twilight, who has her nose in a book.]
: Twilight Sparkle: Oh my goodness. I didn't even see you there. I'm so, so sorry.
: Apple Bloom: It's OK Twilight. It was an accident.
: Twilight: I've just been reading the most fascinating book about Hearts and Hooves Day. Did you know that this holiday got its start because of a love potion?
: Sweetie Belle: Did you say... "a love potion?"
: Twilight: That's right. It even has the recipe.
: Sweetie Belle: I... don't suppose we could borrow that book for a little while... do ya?
: Twilight: Of course you can. I have another book here that I think you'll– [she grabs another book from her saddle bags, but looks back to see the girls have fled]
: Back at the clubhouse, they begin mixing the concoction ~
: Sweetie Belle: Take a tuft of cloud, [they balance atop one another on a cliff to get it]
: Sweetie Belle: A bright rainbow's glow; [they use a vacuum to suck the color from a rainbow]
: Sweetie Belle: Stir with a Pegasus feather, [Sweetie Belle plucks one from Scootaloo]
: Scootaloo: Hey!
: Sweetie Belle: Fast, not slow.
: Apple Bloom: Serve to two ponies who aren't in the know!
: [They set up another picnic in the same place, this time adding two glasses of their purplish elixer.]
: Apple Bloom: I feel kind of bad tricking my brother and Ms. Cheerilee this way.
: Sweetie Belle: What's the problem? We all agree these two are perfect for one another.
: Scootaloo: Yeah, they just need a little nudge.
: Sweetie Belle: And what could make them happier than being together, right?
: Apple Bloom: Right!
: Scootaloo: Ooh, ooh! Here they come!
: Apple Bloom: Hiya, Ms. Cheerilee!
: Cheerilee: Hello again, girls! Hello, Big Mac!
: Cheerilee: Would you three like to tell us why it was so very important that we meet you here?
: Sweetie Belle: Punch!
: Cheerilee: Excuse me?
: Sweetie Belle: Punch! We made punch... W- We were gonna set up a stand and try to sell it but, we needed somepony to taste test it first.
: Apple Bloom: Yyyep.
: Sweetie Belle: We thought you two would be perfect together. To test it. Together. So, ah, we'll just leave you two alone... [they zip away]
: [Sweetie darts back briefly] Together, to test it.
: Cheerilee: I'm very sorry about this. I mentioned to the girls that I don't have a very special somepony and I believe they're putting us in these awkward situations because they've decided it should be you. [they share a laugh]
: Cheerilee: I suppose we should just humor them for a moment. This punch does look delicious.
: Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
: Sweetie Belle: I think they're gonna drink it.
: Cheerilee: To good friends! [they touch glasses in a toast]
: Scootaloo: They're drinking it! They're drinking it!
: [Both hiccup simultaneously, exuding half a heart each which come together between them]
: Scootaloo: They're looking into each other's eyes.
: All Theee: They're about to be in for a big surprise!
: Cheerilee: Big Mac...
: Big McIntosh: Yup?
: Cheerilee: Will you be my very special somepony?
: Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
: Sweetie Belle: YES!
: All Three: [prancing around the couple] He's her special somepony! She's his special somepony!
: Cheerilee: He's my special somepony.
: Big McIntosh: Eeeyup.
: The Girls: Awwwww.
: Cheerilee: He's my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie.
: [the girls look revolted and confused]
: Big McIntosh: You're my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie.
: Apple Bloom: Did he just say...
: Cheerilee: You're my cutie-patootie lovie-dovie honey-bunny.
: Big McIntosh: You're my heartie-smartie smoochy-woochy baby-waby.
: Apple Bloom: Big Mac! Hey! Hellooo?! What's goin' on?!
: Sweetie Belle: Ms. Cheerilee, are you alright?!
: Cheerilee: I have a special somepony. A kissy-wissy snuggy-wuggy sugar bear.
: Sweetie Belle: I think we may have given them too big of a nudge.
: Big McIntosh: You're my cuddly-wuddly boopsie-woopsie pumpkin pie.
: Scootaloo: Ya think?
: Apple Bloom: What have we done?! My brother's acting like a grade-A goofball!
: Sweetie Belle: Maybe we added too much rainbow.
: Scootaloo: Or maybe not enough cloud.
: Sweetie Belle: Or maybe... Uh-oh.
: Apple Bloom: Whaddaya mean "uh-oh?!"
: Sweetie Belle: We might not have given Big Mac and Ms. Cheerilee a love potion. We may have given them a love poison.
: Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: What?!
: Sweetie Belle: Apparently, some prince a long time ago whipped up this recipe and gave it to this princess he liked. He meant it to be a love potion, but things didn't turn out so well.
: Apple Bloom: How... "not so well" did things turn out?
: Sweetie Belle: Well, there's something here about a dragon, a kingdom falling, chaos reigning... OK, apparently it was all because the prince and princess were so lost in each others eyes that they couldn't perform their royal duties.
: Apple Bloom: Great! We've not only turned Big Mac and Ms. Cheerilee into a couple of nonsense-spouting nincompoops, we may have put all of Ponyville in jeopardy!
: Scootaloo: Come on, Apple Bloom. Ms. Cheerilee and Big Mac don't have any royal duties.
: Apple Bloom: But they still got responsibilities! If we don't fix this... Oh, no... Ms. Cheerilee won't be able to teach. Big Mac won't be able to harvest any apples, and before you know it, Ponyville will be overrun with uneducated little ponies starving for apples. Oh, it'll be chaos, it'll be chaos!
: Sweetie Belle: There's an antidote!
: Apple Bloom: Well why didn't you say so? Didn't you see me gettin' all panicked back there?!
: Sweetie Belle: If we can keep Ms. Cheerilee and Big Mac from looking into each others eyes for one full hour, the love curse will be broken.
: Scootaloo: Only an hour? We can pull that off in a second!
: [In Sugarcube Corner]
: Cheerilee: You take the first sip, snuggle-wuggles.
: Big McIntosh: No, you take it, schnoodle-bump.
: Cheerilee: No, you, shnooky-lumps.
: Big McIntosh: No, you, pookie-pie.
: Mrs. Cake: I'm all for romance, but this has been going on for hours.
: [they begin chewing on opposite sides of a cherry]
: Mrs. Cake: What's happened to these two?
: Sweetie Belle: Who knows.
: Mrs. Cake: Well, these lovebirds will probably be planning a wedding soon. We can always use the catering business.
: Sweetie Belle: A wedding! That's it! Ms. Cheerilee and Big Mac should get married!
: Apple Bloom: How is gettin' hitched gonna keep them apart?!
: Sweetie Belle: They aren't really gonna get married. They're just gonna get ready to get married!
: Cheerilee: No you biscuit-wiscuit bear!
: Big McIntosh: Nope! You huggy-wuggy snuggy-bunny!
: Sweetie Belle: Hi Ms. Cheerilee! How are you?!
: Cheerilee: I have a very special somepony!
: Big McIntosh: I have a very special somepony.
: Apple Bloom: Yeah, we noticed.
: Sweetie Belle: Gosh! You two are so in love, the next thing you know, you'll be getting married.
: Cheerilee and Big McIntosh in unison: Married?!
: Sweetie Belle: That's right. Maaariiieed.
: Cheerilee and Big McIntosh: [longingly] Married...
: [Apple Bloom sounds like she's about to vomit]
: Apple Bloom: 'Course, if you're gonna get married, you wanna pick out a really nice diamond for your... ugh... shmoopy-doopy, uh, pookie-pie?
: Big McIntosh: Diamond! [rushes out]
: Cheerilee: Shmoopy!
: Scootaloo: Don't you think you should start looking for your wedding dress? You'll wanna look your best for your... honey-bunny snuggle-baby.
: Cheerilee: Oh, dress! [also leaves hurriedly, destroying the door as she goes]
: Sweetie Belle: Now we just need to keep them apart.
: Sweetie Belle: I'll keep Ms. Cheerilee occupied. You two do the same with Big Mac.
: Apple Bloom: No problem.
: Sweetie Belle: Meet me back at the clubhouse in an hour when this whole mess is over.
: [Sweetie Belle and Cheerilee are looking through racks of white dresses at Carousel Boutique.]
: Sweetie Belle: This one looks nice. Better try it on though.
: [She forces Cheerilee into the changing room with a rack of dresses, then barricades the door with whatever she can find.]
: Sweetie Belle: Ten minutes down, fifty minutes to go.
: [Apple Bloom looks at rings with Big Mac at the jewelry store. He's nodding enthusiastically at the ring presented by the jeweler.]
: Apple Bloom: No.
: [he indicates another, of which Big Mac also nods in approval]
: Apple Bloom: No.
: [and another]
: Apple Bloom: Not that one either.
: [and another]
: Apple Bloom: No.
: [and another still]
: Apple Bloom: Too... Shiny.
: [another]
: No. You know, something less... shiny.
: [the jeweler grunts]
: Apple Bloom: Ms. Cheerilee deserves the best.
: Apple Bloom: [to Scootaloo] How much time is left? I'm running out of ways to make diamonds sound bad.
: Scootaloo: We still have twenty five minutes.
: Apple Bloom: [noticing Big Mac has left] Where's my brother?
: Jeweler pony: He made his purchase and departed out the back. Said something about needing to see his... "shmoopy-shmoo."
: [Scootaloo and Apple Bloom wretch]
: [running through town]
: Apple Bloom: OK, I'll see what I can do to slow him down. You go on to Carousel Boutique and warn Sweetie Belle.
: Apple Bloom catches up to her brother and tries latching onto his tail, holding him back, and fettering him with two oxen pulling a cart full of anvils, all to no effect. The clock tolls five minutes from the top of the hour ~
: [Scootaloo arrives at Carousel Boutique.]
: Sweetie Belle: What's wrong? Where's Apple Bloom? Where's Big Mac?!
: Scootaloo: [gasping between words] On... his... way. Gotta... keep him... out of boutique.
: [Sweetie Belle spots two shovels nearby.]
: [Apple Bloom ties him to a house, only for the house to be torn from its foundation and dragged along.]
: Scootaloo: Move away!
: Apple Bloom: He'll get to her! He's too strong!
: Sweetie Belle: Let him go!
: Big McIntosh: Shmoopy-doo! Whoa! [he falls in a hole with a matress]
: Scootaloo: I sure am glad you found those shovels!
: [the bell tolls again]
: Apple Bloom: One more minute and the spell will be broken!
: Big McIntosh: Shmoopy-doo!
: Cheerilee: Sweetums?! [she destroys the barricade and the front of the boutique, and comes running]
: Big McIntosh: Shmoopy-doo!
: [After a few tense moments she collides with the girls, sending them into a slow-motion flight before striking Big Mac and falling into the hole with him. The hour has arrived.]
: Apple Bloom: Oh please be normal, please be normal...
: Cheerilee: Am I wearing a wedding veil?
: Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
: Cheerilee: Are you sitting on a feather bed in a hole in the ground?
: Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
: Cheerilee: Girls, can you explain why I look like I'm getting married at the bottom of a pit?
: Sweetie Belle: We may have given you the teeny, tiniest bit of love potion, that may have turned out to actually be a love poison, and you may have gone just a teeny, tiniest bit nutty.
: Apple Bloom: But we only did it because we thought you and Big Mac would be really happy if you could be each others very special someponies on Hearts and Hooves Day.
: Scootaloo: Our hearts and hooves were in the right place.
: Cheerilee: We appreciate that you care about us and want us to be happy but...
: Apple Bloom: But no matter how good our intentions might have been, we shoulda never meddled in your relationship.
: Scootaloo: No pony can force two ponies to be together.
: Sweetie Belle: It's up to everypony to choose that very special somepony for themselves.
: All Three: We're sorry.
: Cheerilee: And you can think about how sorry you are while you're doing all of Big Mac's chores at Sweet Apple Acres. Does that seem like a fair punishment to you?
: Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
: [the girls are exhausted after a long day of of hard work when Cheerilee and Big Mac arrive]
: Apple Bloom: Hey there, Ms. Cheerilee! What are you doin' here?
: Cheerilee: Since you three are doing all of his chores, Big Mac and I thought we'd have a picnic at the gazebo. Ready sugar bear?
: Big McIntosh: Eeyup, pumpkin pie.
: [the filles gasp in horror before the two platonic friends exchange knowing winks and take their leave]
: Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: NOOOOOOOO!
: [ credits ]