Rowleys song

206.Rowley Jefferson was a typical 11-year-old boy who lived with his loving parents in a grand mansion. Despite his occasional naughtiness, he never meant any harm. One day, a girl named Jessica from Africa found herself seated next to Rowley. Without fully understanding the implications, Rowley blurted out, "Can I call you Jessigga?" Unfortunately, the teacher overheard his comment and promptly gave him detention.
To Rowley's surprise, his best friend, Darwin, accidentally snorted with laughter at his mishap, resulting in both of them receiving detention. As the school bell rang, mothers and fathers eagerly waited for their children to run to them. Rowley's mother, Linda Jefferson, and Darwin's mother, Nicole Watterson, patiently waited for twenty minutes, growing increasingly concerned. Finally, they decided to ask the teacher about their sons' whereabouts.
To their astonishment, the teacher informed them that Rowley and Darwin had been given the punishment of staying in detention overnight. Feeling worried and frustrated, Linda and Nicole couldn't help but express their concern. Just then, Jessica, the African girl who had been present during Rowley's unfortunate comment, walked by and saw what Rowleys mother looked like and exclaimed, "No wonder Rowley acts the way he does!"
The teacher couldn't take any action against Jessica as she was off school grounds. With a wave, she left to join her friends. Meanwhile, the headteacher, who was heading home, specifically instructed Rowley and Darwin to remain in detention throughout the night.
As the evening wore on, Rowley noticed Darwin engrossed in drawing hyper-realistic pirates. It took Darwin five months to complete the picture, and he felt a sense of accomplishment. However, Rowley, in an act of mischief, tore the page out from Darwin's book and criticized him for not drawing the penis for intended topic of human anatomy.
In retaliation, Rowley proceeded to rummage through Darwin's backpack. Among the items he discovered were a half-eaten apple decaying away, a human finger – complete with attached bone – and a picture of a baby Darwin in a soiled diaper. With a mischievous grin, Rowley photocopied the embarrassing baby picture and sent a hundred copies to each classroom's printer.
The following day, kids laughed at Darwin, making him feel humiliated and isolated. Meanwhile, Darwin explored Rowley's bag, where he found a full packet of lasagna sheets, the face of Rowley's deceased grandfather, a swarm of flies, a 1700s grand piano in immaculate condition, an escaped convict, an infamous German leader, a cure for cancer, a rubber ballsack, the shower hose from Fregly's house, a broken TV remote, and, surprisingly, Rowley's song.
Seeing an opportunity to exact revenge, Darwin pulled out his phone and declared, "I will record you singing this song and embarrass you just like you embarrassed me!" Rowley reluctantly handed over the sheet with the lyrics. The tune didn't sound pleasant, but he sang the song nonetheless.
The lyrics went like this:
"I am Rowley, look at me.
Yeah, I am so lovely, would you like to see it?
It's the willy of the man with the surname Bean,
So they call him Mr. Beans willy.
(Chorus)
Yes, it's Rowley and poo and wee making hate.
Yes, it's Rowley and poo and wee making hate.
Yes, it's Rowley and poo and wee making hate.
Yes, it's Rowley and poo and wee making hate.
Yes, it's Rowley and poo and wee making hate.
Yes, I'm Rowley, I drink milk from my pet rabbit,
That's why she has 7,002 teats, want to grab it?
Yes, look at me, do you want a look at my willy,
Or a glimpse at my bum? Yeah, go ahead, Tosser
I drove my dad's car, went swimming clothesless,
Got adopted, raised my pet from the dead, oh shit!
I made a park with Pedro, brought a snowman to life,
Raised a killer pigeon, built a house for my poor friend's life.
I cooked a mouse and my finger, getting hard and horny,
Used bullet holes for pepper and salt, got piles.
I kept Captain Arse Face on the air,
Played with poo, set an old people's home on fire without a care.
Almost drowned at a water park, returned to Africa,
Went to America, pressed a load of buttons, including a bumhole!
Went to Mexico, became a plumber, went mining with my mates,
Spent a day at the beach and a day in London, oh, what shit days!
I even used to be a hairdresser,
But most of all, I used to be friends with Po and Dipsy, would be glad to forget em."
Rowley finished singing, panting for breath. While Darwin anticipated Rowley's humiliation online, the video unexpectedly garnered 200 billion views within the first hour of being uploaded, becoming the most popular YouTube video worldwide. Students and teachers flocked to Rowley, requesting autographs and treating him like a celebrity.
Unexpectedly, the headmaster apologized for the unjust detention and offered Rowley the privilege of choosing a friend to never return to school with, instead spending their days playing together. Despite the allure of selecting the kid who made him famous, Rowley surprised everyone by choosing Pedro, a friend whom he disliked the most because of his disdain for school. With a scream, Pedro was dragged away by Rowley, destined never to learn again.
As for Darwin, the embarrassing photo of him was unrelentingly circulated online, accumulating another 200 billion views. People would chase him whenever they spotted him, mocking him relentlessly. Darwin felt heartbroken, but sadly, no one came to his aid or offered support.
Rowley, reveling in his newfound fame and consumed by greed, embraced the attention and the constant validation. It seemed that high creativity in concocting outrageous lyrics and scenarios had brought him the level of notoriety he desired.