Brake My Wife, Please/Quotes

:Judge Harm: Mr. Simpson, give me your license.
:(Homer surrenders and she then puts the license on a guillotine. The blade chops it in half. She then has two Doberman Pinscher's eat it.)
:Judge Harm: Burn that poop.
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:Homer: (to Marge) Calm down, Stresserella!
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:Homer: And now to all my dear friends I say, get the hell out of my yard.
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:Homer: I am so screwed! I can't drive to work! I can't drive to the store! And I certainly can't drive to the store at work! 
:Marge: I guess I'll have to do all your driving chores. That's what a good wife does, picks up the slack. 
:Homer: That reminds me. We gotta pick up my slacks at that dry cleaner in Shelbyville. 
:Marge: Why can't you use the local dry cleaner? 
:Homer: I didn't want him to know my size. 
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:Homer: Thanks for picking my friends up from the strip club, Marge. 
:Lenny: Can we stop for ice cream? 
:Carl: Homer always stops for ice cream. 
:Marge: We'll see. 
:Lenny: That always means no.
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:Homer: Stupid walking, thighs chafing horribly, no drink holder. I miss my car so much. Everyone's driving but me.
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:Homer: Maybe I should keep walking instead of going into a dark, dreary bar.
:Moe: Get in here, Boozy. You're late for your drunkening.
:Homer: No. From now on walking will be my alcohol and feeling good will be my hangover. 
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:Homer: If Marge isn't happy, I'm not happy. And if I'm not happy, Moe's very happy. But for once, this isn't about Moe.
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:Homer: (after crashing his car in the water) Save me, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan!
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:Homer: (after being rescued) Oh, I'll never mock the Coast Guard again. You Navy rejects are all right.
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:Moe: You want to know how to make a peach crumble? Kick it in the groin.
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:Carl: I can whip up my famous poulet au vin avec champignons a la Carl Mwah!
:Homer: You can bring a bag of ice.
es:Brake My Wife, Please/Frases