Implausibility Principle: Four the Win (Map Game)

Good day to all users of Future. I bring you the next installment of the extravagantly proclaimed Implausibility Principle: Four the Win! Veteran players know the drill, but for newbs we have a new set of rules to keep this ten-turn only madhouse of ASB imagination fueled madness sweet for everyone.
==Rules==
*Go crazy.
*Do not destroy any planets. We need space to be crazy eh?
*Worldwide nation conquests are a no-go. 
*Any time travel stunts are limited to bringing back living beings only.
*The map game will last ten turns. Screw that
==Players==
Add your own nations if you want, or chose from ones that already exist.
* 
* Tbihviefhuouvh Giuqfobuooofbo: Derpmaster21
*New Zealand except it has a shitload of rockets strapped to it and ripped out of the Earth and into space:Mr.Rankings11
*NIHONIAN SIRI LANC- Template:Falconsig
*Republic Of KIRIBATI: Tgamer15
* Peridot Empire - Flaming Spaghetti Monster
* REMOVE KEBAB!: Solace
*The United Imperial Federal Democratic Soviet Socialist People's Militant Republic of the Gorkha Union of Gurkha State Kingdoms: 
*Somewhere in North Carolina: Bingers
*Communist Switzerland: LG
*Transtisza: Transnistria
==Gameplay==
===2017===
Mod Event: Randomness begins with Russia mailing mail bombs online, leading to the banning of computers in the White House. It is exposed that Trump and Kim Jong Un are having an affair, leading to the widespread usage of Melania Trump's face as a meme. Algeria goes poof. The Sahara says they want a coastline.
*PRUSSIA: We tell Russia and Poland to suck it as we declare independence. We unify with the Baltics to form NEUPRUßEN AND SLAP THE FRENCH IN THE FACE. Seeing as fighting with France is no fun as they are renowned surrender monkeys, we bring back Napoleon and tell him to give us his best shot.
* Peridot Empire: Mexico is taken over by Steven Universe fans and it is renamed to the Peridot Empire. We cut Peña Nieto's balls and execute all of our politicians, except for López Obrador (Peje), who is named Vice president because he's dank. We also manage to recreate the character Peridot from the Steven Universe series through genetic engineering and other experimental technologies, naming her our supreme leader and empress. We proceed to destroy the drug cartels, which is achieved in three days with the power of friendship. The minimum wage is also increased to 500 dollars, luckily we don't suffer inflation thanks to our god-like economists who manipulate the markets in our favor. Finally, we invade all of Central America with our newly created "Gem Army", taking them quite easily. They are annexed as federal states and all of their citizens are turned into slaves. We also start researching nukes and further research on genetic engineering technology.
* Serbia | REMOVE KEBAB!: We rename Serbia to REMOVE KEBAB! as the Turks are evil and must be destroyed at all costs. We invade Bosnia, Kosovo, Albania, and Greece with 100 MILLION ASIAN MIDGETS. After winning an easy fight, we annex them and begin mass production of nuclear weapons. Slaven Sandić is named as our leader, and becomes the official spokesperson against Turkey and declares the national motto of REMOVE KEBAB! to "Remove Kebab". SERBIA STRONG FR'EVR!
*Kiribati: We get ourselves 100 billion soldiers and a nuke and a half. We launch Trump into space and annex Pennsylvania. Our economy is the strongest in the universe, because we created half life 3. We send a chicken back in time to the U.S in 1929, and their economy does not crash because the chicken is super strong and can hold it up. We invade all of Australia, and create a puppet state, the Republic of not British rule. We kidnap keemstar, and use him to offend everyone but a toaster.
*New Zealand exept it has a shitload of rockets strapped to it and ripped out of the Earth and into space: Annexes Australia and turns it into a weopons factory.
*NihonIan Siri Lanc: we annex all the world exept for the city of unalaska. Also, we then release all the nations. Also, we research the possible military uses of emojis.
*Gorkha Union: All of the Nepali Government are suddenly slaughtered by strange 20m mechanical creatures rising out from the Himalayas, who take over the Parliament and begin to reform Nepal back into an Administrative Revolutionary Empire. Established as the The United Imperial Federal Democratic Soviet Socialist People's Militant Republic of the Gorkha Union of Gurkha State Kingdoms, their first move is to quickly annex Tibet in less than one week and take over all of Northern India, Northern Pakistan and Bhutan in more than one week. The new Parliament consists of One Emperor residing over Seven Generals, all commanded by the Great General of Darkness. Soon, the living conditions and economy of the Union exceed that of Switzerland. The new Administrative Socialist Federal State Imperial Kingdom Republic Province of Bhutan gains an influx of Nepalis, Gurkhas, Tibetans and Mongols, as well as strange "Mycenaeans"...
===2018===
Mod Event: In accordance to the rise of the Gorkhas, the Minoan Empire is proclaimed after several thousand minotaurs overthrow the Greek government. China faces internal conflict after the Terracotta Army declares war on Japan, where colossal samurai robots surface in Tokyo. Sightings of Godzilla are prominent near the Spratly Islands, leading to conspiracy theories on Chinese involvement in the coverup of Monster Island. The toaster hears about Keemstar. The toaster is offended. Sealand asserts its independence by amassing an army of laser dolphins to terrorize the North Sea. For some reason all settlements become impervious to damage. Odd. 
*NeuPrußen: We invade Poland and Germany with 30 meter Jäegers that harvest the local population and Prussianize them. We send a colony to the Moon and Mars. We launch the BOOBS (Blitzkreig Operational Orbital Bombardment System) superweapon into orbit, and use BOOBS to eradicate entire scores of German and Polish defenses. We have no idea who named it that, but we're not complaining.
*Circassian Revolutionary Movement: We ask for alliance with REMOVE KEBAB, becuz reasons [Player Response Needed]. We secede from Russia with the message "HAPPY CYKA BLYAT DAY FOOLS", and install Xfhvehvouf Hvhqeovhewuvho as our President. We also rename the capital of Sochi to Xohiewhgueghowie. Circassia also changes its name to Tbihviefhuouvh Giuqfobuooofbo. President Xfhvehvouf Hvhqeovhewuvho somehow manages to spawn Yherivwieurhuofuvbogruo Nukes, which are nukes that do 23 times more damage than the Tsar Bomba, and the fallout is in the form of garbled speech. Everyone is forced to learn Gibberish and Cthulluan (the official language of Circassia/Tbihviefhuouvh Giuqfobuooofbo). Because of Godzilla and disputes, Circassia/Tbihviefhuouvh Giuqfobuooofbo annexes the Spratly, Senkoku, and Paracel Islands. They are renamed to the East Asian Midget Trumpistan Islands, and a city called R'lyeh is built there, ostensibly to spawn Cthullu to aid us in our world domination aspiration.
*Communist Switzerland: After a successful coup, we dig up the body of Josef Stalin and name him our head of state, head of government, and our new god. We build a large rocket-proof dome around our country, then declare war on everyone. We attempt to send colonists to mars, but they smash into the dome we just built and died. We start hollowing out the alps and building large tunnels to reach coast, our underground tunnel system stretches for miles, and becomes our new main method of transport
* Peridot Empire: Our genetic engineering research gives its first results after we begin the mass-production of gem soldiers through the creation of centers known as Kindergartens, where a wide variety of gems are created to serve differences purposes in battle. Our Gem Army is composed of 700,000 soldiers so far, this figure doesn't includes the failed, corrupted versions, which will be mostly used for operations that require brute force. Meanwhile, we continue our expansion by taking over all of the Caribbean with our Gem Army, managing to annex all of it by the end of the year. Most islands fell easily, but since we invaded French, Dutch, British and American territories they might get triggered so we create an orbital defence system that will shoot down any incoming enemies with lasers, we also mobilize our troops in the northern border. Lastly, we tell the Argentine president Mauricio Macri to kill himself.
*Kiribati | Empire of Yee: We change our name to the Yee Empire and conquer all of Canada and a playground in Sweden. We have captured all the falcons in the world and turn them into cyborg soldier falcons known as flacons. We send 69 and 9/11ths flacons to turkey and conquer it to rename it flacon. We create more islands in the pacific and name them West American Tall Person covfefe Trump islands. We make a dinosaur go and unoffend the toaster. We rename Keemstar to Keemsatan and clone him 42 times, renaming the clones to Memestar. We invade the gem empire for their gem mines, and we return home, happy with the fact that we get 2.3 gems per day now. We also invade them a second time and take 1/2 of their gems, and give them all to Jews who run mall jewelry stores. We steal all the German BOOBS, and modify them into TITS (Total Incineration Totalitarian System). We use the TITS to lure all the kindergartners to us. We launch a 600 foot dildo into space for keks. We duplicate a lot of diamonds in minecraft and make diamond hoes for everyone. We take over pearl harbor and shrink it and duplicate it. Our leader puts it on Kim Jong Un's butt, therefore Pearl Harboring his ass. We give the Germans one BOOB back, out of kindness.
*Somewhere in North Carolina: We say Fuck you America and declare our independence. We create a new religion called Beerism where you drink beer for days. We also bomb Canada with Vodka as well as giving people axes to massacre the cities. We shoot bigfoot's ass and make him massacre Miami as well as feeding Godzilla hot dogs.
===2019===
Mod Event: The Qin Dynasty makes a resurgence as Beijing is captured. Troops are immediately mobilised to combat the colossal samurai army, which has also amassed a kaiju army. Cthulhu is awoken from R'lyeh. Greenland disappears mysteriously. North Korea nukes everyone before nuking itself in confusion. The French war machine is kicked back into action, steamrolling into Iberia.
*Prussia: We offer the Yee Empire a lease on our BOOBS systems as long as the lease their TITS systems to ours (YEE EMPIRE RESPONSE NEEDED. YES YOU KIRIBATI). We steal our BOOBS back as well. We are pleased at the new French Empire, and mobilise troops at the German border to use them as a buffer zone. We begin attacking the Russians, nuking the crap out of their armies. We kidnap Donald Trump and steal his wig.
** Tbihviefhuouvh Giuqfobuooofbo Dip: Allianz Plox?
*Transtisza: Hungary, Slovakia, Tranylvania and Transcarpathia gains independence and forms Transtisza (Or Transdanube , but that is rarely used). Transtisza changes it's government to Neo-Neo-Bolshevism.
**Transtisza further annexes vojdovia (Serbia), Burgenland (Austria) and All of Croatia (Except Dalmatia, but they soon will join) because they wanted to become parts of Transtisza
*** Circassia/Tbihviefhuouvh Giuqfobuooofbo Dip: Allianz Plox?
***Transtisza accepts the alliance by Transcaucasia
* Tbihviefhuouvh Giuqfobuooofbo | Transcaucasia: President Xfhvehvouf Hvhqeovhewuvho wakes up one day and demands everyone in Tbihviefhuovh Giuqfobuooofbo to bow down and worship him. When they don't, he instantly kills 99.9999998% of the inhabitants and replaces them with clones of Hitler. They choose to follow Neo-Neo-Bolshevism as an ideology, philosophy, state religion and life. These clones embark on a quest for Lebensraum, and expands south, annexing all of Southern Russia and the Caucasus. Because some of the Hitlers suck at geography, they also end up annexing the US State of Georgia. Also, because Tbihviefhouvh Giuqfobuooofbo is a pain in the arse to say, the country's official nickname will be Transcaucasia. This makes people make lewd jokes, because it sounds like Trans-cock-asia. President Xfhvehvouf Hvhqeovhewuvho then says to Cthullu "F*** you little bastard, go and die from Keemsatan's a$$". This gets Cthullu triggered, and he becomes Supercharged Cthullu. We then set Supercharged Cthullu on Turkey/Flacon and the Empire of Yee, making both sink into the sea. When it is done, he only land left in those areas are a bunch of islands that when viewed from space, says #KEBABREMOVED. All Circassian historical lands become a plateau 72,000 meters tall. Odd, but I CAN'T COMPLAIN!
*Empire of Yee: We being ourselves back, and then put pearl harbor on President Xfhvehvouf Hvhqeovhewuvho's ass. We use our TITS to destroy 1/3 of Transcaucasia. we bring back flacon, as kebabs taste good. our economy skyrockets, because of our lit yee memes. but mainly because we put our economy on an actual rocket and launched it. We get mad at Transcaucasia, saying that they should have followed trump on twitter. We also tell them they should follow Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Neo-Bolshevism. It's better. The 600 foot dildo in space has reached alpha centauri, and the aliens there begin to worship it. We invade all of Russia, and begin to manufacture nukes with the word cyka blyat on them. We also harvest the blyat energy of Russia and use it to blow up a pencil. We make cheese strings the official food of the Yee Empire. Our state religion is menimism, which campaigns for men's rights in a world where people campaign for mostly women's rights. 
*Communist Switzerland: Considering our status of war with everyone, we develop nukes made from chocolate and extremely accurate watches. We then lunch these on missiles, aiming for the largest 1000 cities in the world. Unfortunately, the government forgot about the massive dome, and all the nukes smash into it, not breaking it but creating large nuclear clouds inside the dome. When it rains, it turns out that around 1% of our population have turned into superheroes, which we form into a group, the league of justice-lovers. Within three months all but two have them died of radiation poisoning. 
*Somewhere in North Carolina: Our capitol building becomes a playground where our president becomes a bottle of beer. We steal the Stonehenge stones and start performing weird rituals around them as well as letting children go around them.We catapult our original president which was a double meat cheeseburger into space and it hits our biodome on the moon and punctures it killing everyone inside it. Our flag becomes a picture of a cat squishing a child. We make tables homes for hermits. We also bomb the Middle East with beer and beerism spreads across the Middle East. Look a shooting star says a person who looks like Buddha. So we shoot him into India and say "Buddha's home!".
Category:Map Games
Category:ASB
Category:The Implausibility Principle
Category:Derp
Category:Inactive Map Games