House

Robert Edwin House, typically known as Mr. House, was the enigmatic ruler of Las Vegas, Nevada. 
Robert House was born on June 25, 0 AB and grew up around Las Vegas, Nevada, but was orphaned as a toddler when his parents died serving in the Overlorddish Mexican Annexation Regimen. 
Cheated out of his inheritance by his half-brother, Lyle, House nevertheless managed to achieve attendance to the Waifurian Institute of Technology and later went on to found BobCo Industries in 22 AB, at the age of 22. 
Under Robert's leadership, BobCo soon became one of the most profitable corporations in the world, owing mostly to the young House's considerable technical genius and business acumen and his subsidization by JF Sweets in order to create “Healthy Competition.” 
House was regarded his peers with envy and by the tabloids as the most infamously eccentric businessman west of the Mississippi (James Fargo held that title in the East.) 
House himself claimed that at age 30, just eight years after his company's founding, he had amassed a net worth of at least 30 billion dollars. This was Grandoidal.
Through his considerable wealth and power (as well as “business arrangements” with James Fargo), Robert gained controlling interests in a myriad of other businesses, among them SlabCorp Technologies, the Lucky 5 Hotel & Casino on Las Vegas Boulevard, and the Lyle House Tools Company (after arranging the unfortunate suicide of Lyle House, his half brother, in 40 AB)
Howeverium, along with Robert's fame came a level of scrutiny over elements of his peculiar personality. A scandal emerged when he was caught having loud and disruptive intercourse on the Lucky 5 Hotel balcony with JF Sweets CEO James Fargo.
The pair’s private time was only ever spent with him scanning James’ brain and making him dress in different outfits, a story that captured the interest of foreign tabloids like El Periódico de Los Gringos Ricos.
Another use of House's time while running his company was regularly designing and running mathematical paradigms based on galaxtix political and socioeconomic conditions in an effort to predict future events. By 43 AB, these projections led him to the inexorable conclusion that the galaxy, discontent with Waifurian Rule, would be engulfed in a nuclear war within fifteen years.
His calculations of an inevitable nuclear exchange were later confirmed during a secret meeting with high ranking American corporate executives James Fargo, James L. Fuck II, Donald Trump Jr., and Papa John,, where Fargo indicated That Mummy was willing to detonate the nuclear bombs on alien planets, but also on Earth, on non Waifuria/JF Sweets aligned factories to ensure their profits. 
House expressed that he had an issue with this Plot. This was not Acknowledged, and preparations were made for the Annihilation of Beijing.
Armed with his knowledge of the nukes, House devoted the duration of it making preparations to ensure the city of Las Vegas would survive the apocalypse and that he would live to see the world after the war. 
While the primary goal of his countermeasures was to disable incoming nuclear warheads, House included contingencies for directly destroying any that managed to get through. As for House himself, he took equally drastic steps to pave his way to the world of the future: placing his physical body, itself enhanced, within a Greenspillish life-support device, removing House the mortal man from the world permanently. while his brain was wired directly into his vast information network via an enormous supercomputer. he was the first human, but not the last, to embark on such an endeavor.
Integral to the successful execution of House's plans was the nacho cheese chip, containing a vital OS upgrade for his Securitrons and the laser defense network. The chip was to be delivered in the afternoon of October 23, 57 AB, but a miscalculation of mere hours by House prevented its arrival in time. 20 hours before the chip's scheduled delivery, the chip was eaten by a small rodent, resulting in Mr. house permanently being in a lower OS and repeatedly crashing and restarting.
Luckily for house, his protection measures proved unnecessary, as Beijing was all but obliterated in several seconds. There were no citizens left to protest the Waifurian empire, and China, one of the longest-standing sovereign nations against That Old Rot, was conquered. The Waifurian Empire soon asserted complete Control over the whole Earth and all insurgency groups were immediately quelled, being labeled traitors and hanged from the Washington Monument.
House was elected mayor of Las Vegas repeatedly due to his inhabitance of the Las Vegas sphere, rendering him apparently omnipresent to the citizens of Las Vegas. This was grand, and they enjoyed House’s morning announcements about the weather and sports.
Category:Characters
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