Earth Relocation Imperative

The Earth Relocation Imperative was a desperate, last-minute attempt by the humans of Earth in 999,990 to save their planet from becoming inhospitable, due to rising solar radiation levels and Sol's increased size. 
== Humanity: True Scourge of the Omniverse ==
Earth 2 had been drained of its resources, both inside and out. The gigaconglomerate, OmniStar Corporation, had nearly ubiquitous control over every major planetary government, turning the planet into a barren, nigh uninhabitable wasteland. By this point, the Great META War 3 had exhausted a heavy toll on the resources of the surface; the once prosperous and lush forests of Earth were void of life, populated only by radiation and moisture farmers. 
The hollow inside of Earth had been completely destroyed, with all of the mystical forests and mysterious megafauna all but gone. The Agarthians, too, had long since fled the system. The humans, living in millenia of anarchy after the Waifurian Empire's collapse, had factionalized and bombed each other nearly into oblivion. The Southern Hemisphere was still dangerously radioactive, after hundreds of thousands of years, and the synthetic crust of Earth 2 had been unable, or unwilling, to absorb the radiation. Large glacial ice sheets still existed in the Tropics, but were unable to venture too far south. 
== Geographical Changes ==
South America and Africa had become almost entirely submerged underwater. A large sea had appeared, crossing from what was once Saudi Arabia and running all the way through Asia, ending at the Siberian Bay. These new water routes were incredibly beneficial to the roughly 1 million humans still left alive on this desolate rock. 
== Now You See ==
All seven astronomers on Earth were astonished one morning, as they were measuring the sun's flares from the Bolivian microcontinent. They noticed, with horror, Mercury had been completely consumed by the growing star. The Astronomers, although paid off by OmniStar Corporation to keep silent about impending disasters such as this, elected to reveal the information to the public. 
== Don't Look Up ==
Mass hysteria broke out in the streets of nearly fourteen of the sixteen cities left on Earth, with people complaining that they should've been told sooner. The OmniStar Authority was quick to execute every single one of these public protestors via vaporization rays. 
The OmniStar Authority quickly released a press briefing about how the scientists were conspiracy theorists, and stated the Sun would remain stable forever. 
There was great displeasure among many of the world's top .01% about the imminent planetary annihilation. They began brainstorming ways to combat this- from Solar Bombardment, to attaching a massive Warp Drive to Earth. 
After 3 years of waiting to do anything and ignoring the problem. a method of gradual gravitational escape was decided on. By adding a large amount of mass to one side of the Earth, they theorized they could offset Earth's Orbit and expand it to roughly where Mars' orbit had been (before it was blown up). This would be a temporary fix, yet would give them time to plot a better solution. 
== The Black Mesa Research Facility ==
A team of archeologists was gathered to search for the mythical Black Mesa Research Facility, which was said to house the most advanced technologies of the ancient Waifurian Empire. They located the site and began blasting it with a hypersonic water stream, eroding the thousands of years of sediments and rocks which had been deposited on top of the structure. 
When the scientists spotted a U.S. Military gunship poking out from the rock, they knew they had reached their destination. They sent an excavation team down to begin digging. 
== Albuquerque Black Holes and the Mythical Downward Spiral ==
When the OmniCorp scientists reached the Black Mesa Research Facility, they began rifling through the lost and highly advanced texts from a civilized age. They found numerous intriguing artifacts, including a golden bust of Hunter Biden's head, a fossilized Combine Gunship, and several Reveal Candies. More importantly, they found texts telling of mysterious Black Holes which existed in the southwestern United States, as well as a mythical Downward Spiral which had covered a large portion of mainland Australia. 
While rather stupid, the scientists were smart enough to know that uncovering this Downward Spiral could be just the catalyst they needed to destabilize the Earth's orbit. 
== Unforeseen Consequences ==
Over the next three years, every slave, woman, and child was put to work mining and blasting in Australia. Eventually, they hit bedrock. They found no signs of the Downward Spiral. 
Unfortunately, the Downward Spiral had migrated into the crust of the Earth, and, as luck would have it, was just beginning to peak into the Inner Earth as the expedition was occurring in Australia. 
It quickly began sucking in Earth's core (which was the solar equivalent of Inner Earth), and when Earth's Core was all but destroyed, the planet's orbit was dangerously offset. The Earth was now on a downward spiral. 
== Final Countdown ==
Earth's Moon, however, had not had a plan of entering a downward spiral. In fact, it was just escaping Earth's orbit and had been excited about a future of possibilities in the cosmos. 
The Downward Spiral began gaining mass rapidly. It entered the Earth's center of mass (where the core had once been) and began disemboweling the planet from the inside out. It ripped the continental crust and oceans from the Inner Earth, and the planet began collapsing. Earthquakes that would've measured 41 on the Richter Scale began occurring on the outer crust. The entire planet entered a state of emergency. 
Scientists predicted that the synthetic crust would hold out for up to 1 month. This gave the OmniCorp enough time to evacuate everyone important, while leaving most of the Earth's population on the collapsing planet to die.
What the Scientists didn't account for, however, was the Earth's increased mass pulling its satellite down to the surface. 
== Grand Cataclysm ==
The Earth and Moon were destroyed in a matter of minutes after the collision. Huge chunks of rock were flung out into the solar system, colliding with Jupiter and Saturn. Needless to say, everyone on Earth died, and in 999,996 AB, the most influencial planet in Omniversal History, the heart of the Waifurian Empire, home of Joe Biden and Rick Hernia, was no more. Millions of years of history were gone in an instant. 
The Downward Spiral continued orbiting the Sun, until it became so massive that it entered a state of binary lockdown with the expanding star. The Downward Spiral consumed Venus, and began stripping the Sun of its solar gasses. 
The entire solar system was thrown into disarray. Jupiter and Saturn were flung out into the cosmos, becoming rogue exoplanets. Uranus had been destroyed some time prior by the detonation of Neptune . Five days later, the Final Moment commenced. 
Category:Events