What Did I Just Do

"What Did I Just Do" is a [SEASON NUMBER] thread started on [IRL DATE] and finished on [IRL DATE].
==Summary==
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==Full Text==
Brandt wasted no time in getting Grey back to the house with Shadow. Thankfully, very few villagers were out and about, so no one would see the Chief with a bruised and swollen hand and spit on her cheek. As soon as they got back, Sven, Dagny, and Kari came rushing down the stairs, and when they saw the state Grey was in, they stopped and stared. 
“Mom...are you okay?” Sven asked. “What...what happened to your hand? And...what’s on your cheek?”
“We’ll talk about it later,” Brandt said quickly as he led Grey to the table. “Sven, why don’t you take your sisters on a ride around the island or something? Mom and I need to talk privately.”
“Okay,” Sven said not entirely if he wanted to leave their parents. 
Brandt smiled. “It’s okay, buddy,” he said. “I promise. Mom and I just need to talk about some things, that’s all. We’ll come get you when we’re done.”
Sven, Dagny, and Kari all nodded and did as their father asked walking out of the house leaving Grey and Brandt alone. As soon as they were alone, Brandt got out a rag, bandages, warm water, and an ice block, and he sat next to Grey. 
“Brandt...what have I done?” Grey asked looking up at her husband. 
Brandt felt his heart break seeing his wife in this state. He could feel the shame and guilt and regret radiating off her, and he tried to give her a small smile as he dipped the rag into the small basin before placing it on the cheek Ai spat on and wiped it off cleaning it. “Calm down,” he said gently as he took her hand. “We’ll talk about it in a second. Right now, I want to look at your hand.”
“But...” 
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Let me just look at the hand, okay? One thing at a time.”
Grey nodded. “Okay,” she said allowing Brand to gently take her right hand. 
“We’ll need to get that swelling down and wash these scratches,” Brandt said. He slowly unfurled Grey’s fist only to see blood on her palm as well. She had clearly clenched her fist so hard she cut the skin. His breath caught in his throat at the sight, but he quickly hid it with a small smile as he washed his wife’s palm. 
As soon as he was sure her hand was clean, he gently wrapped it in a bandage making sure it wasn’t too tight. Then he placed an ice block on the hand hoping to keep the swelling of Grey’s hand from getting worse.
“There we go,” Brandt said gently. “Hopefully we can get that swelling to go down.”
Grey didn’t respond. Instead she stared at her hand in her husband’s large ones with the ice block on top of it. She could still feel the impact of her fist meeting Ai Kauri’s face, and as the anger and the rage faded, cold realization, guilt, and shame came in place of it at full force. She had just beaten a prisoner...a restrained prisoner...all because she insulted her.
“Brandt...what...what have I done?” Grey asked after a moment as her breath quickened. “Wh-What did I just do?”
The Chief’s husband gently grabbed Grey by the shoulders to ground her...to calm her down. “Hey, listen to me, listen to me,” Brandt said. “It’s okay. You...” What could he possibly say to her? She was right. She just had beaten a prisoner, who was restrained. He didn’t hear the whole conversation between Grey and Ai, but...for Grey of all people to suddenly do something like that to their former captor...something had to have happened before he and Shadow got there. “Calm down, my love. Just calm down and tell me everything that happened.”
Grey tried to talk, but her breath was caught in her throat. She gasped trying to breathe.
Brandt’s eyes widened as he placed his hands on Grey’s face forcing his wife to look at him. “Grey, look at me,” he said gently but firmly. “Look at me. It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay, just breathe. Breathe for me.”
Grey nodded and took a couple of deep breaths before she finally coughed coming out of it as she grabbed onto Brandt’s arms looking into his hazel eyes to ground herself in the exact moment.
“There we go,” Brandt said gently. “There’s my girl. You feel better?”
Grey could only look at Brandt.
“Right, sorry, of course, not,” Brandt replied quickly. “Okay, okay, going back to my previous question...what happened in there?”
Grey took another deep breath steadying herself as tears came into her eyes. “I...ran into a friend of Akkey’s...Jin Juro,” she said, “and he wanted to know about the attack and the Crows of Crestwill capturing us. He...we talked about it, and we both realized that it seemed odd that Ai came all this way just to capture Haligan Island and surrender when the Rebellion came and...that maybe there was a reason...for it. So...I decided to go to the prison and confront her...I thought...I thought maybe I could get some information from her. That’s why I left you the note. I...I didn’t want to wake you up. Brandt, I...I swear...”
“I know, I know,” Brandt said gently. “I know. You wouldn’t have told me if you were looking to do anything. Just keep going.”
“Okay, I got to the prison and asked to see her,” she said, “and we met in the interrogation room. And...she...had this smug look on her face. She wasn’t scared or anything. She looked like she didn’t have a care in the world. I tried to ask her the simple questions: what her name was and where she was from, and from the first question, she hardly cooperated.”
“What did she tell you?”
“Not much, just that she wanted to take Haligan to get back at us for what Hel did to all the factions with those storm clouds. I tried to see if she would tell me who else she had sold slaves too, and she gave me a list of names.”
“Okay, we can look into that later,” Brandt said holding his wife’s hands gently. “Keep going.”
Grey took another deep...shaky breath to calm herself. “We...talked for a little more after that,” she said. “She...she had no remorse...for anything. All this...with the slaves...she just views it as a job...” Her fists clenched at that. 
“Oh boo hoo your kids didn’t have a mommy or a daddy for two weeks. Grow the fuck up. It’s not personal, it’s a fucking job.”
Brandt sighed. He already hated the idea of his wife being alone with their former captor...especially considering the state he found them in, but to hear that Ai was so...uncaring...and just viewed her deeds as just a job...it reminded him of how the Barbaric Burglars viewed conquering tribes. It was just something that they did. 
“She said that everything and everyone was worth a price,” Grey continued. 
“A job that ruins other people’s lives!”
“You done with that little tantrum? Good. Because here is the thing. Everything has a price. Wood, dogs, dragons, Half-Breeds, humans. We are all worth something to someone, whether you admit it or not. The thing is, I don’t nit pick. Half-Breed, Human, Nix, I don’t care. They’re all worth something and that’s all that matters.”
“That’s…a pretty sad way of looking at life. Do you view yourself in such a way? Or your crew? Surely, they’re like a family to you, and you do anything for them.”
“Just what the fuck are you hoping to achieve exactly? You think I’ll come to some kind of revelation and change the way I live or some stupid shit like that? I know who I am, and no matter what you do or say, nothing is going to change that.”
Grey sighed as the memory faded to the back of her mind.
“You thought you could convince her to atone for what she did...or to find out what made her tick?” Brandt asked.
The Chief nodded. 
Brandt sighed running a hand through his hair remembering how he found his wife and their former captor...not too long ago in that interrogation room. Grey kneeling over Ai...punching her...beating her...while Ai had no way to fight back. He saw the rage fogging those warm brown eyes he had fallen in love with over the years, and with how Grey reacted when he grabbed her and held her back to break it up...it was almost as if...for a moment...she didn’t fully realize that it was him...like she was in her own world. Not that she was going mad, but...everything she felt toward Ai...the haunting being held prisoner brought upon his wife came to the surface in that moment and clouded her judgment. He knew his wife just as Ingrid knew her daughter...This was not how Grey would normally act. She would never stoop to that level on any normal day. No, something happened to make Grey do what she did.
“And...it didn’t work, did it?” Brandt finally asked.
Grey shook her head as the memories flooded back.
"No you don't. I can see it every time you look at me. You hate me, you want to kill me, or at the very least hurt me. Hurt me like I hurt your weak little husband."
Grey clenched her teeth again at the memory, and her hands shook. However, Brandt quickly placed his hands over hers getting her to relax and look at him. 
“What happened, Grey?” he asked. 
“I...I tried to forgive her...I thought it would help...you know?” Grey began. “But...she just laughed...and said that she sees it every time she looks at me...how I hate her and want to kill her...or hurt her...hurt her like she hurt...my ‘weak little husband.’ As soon as she said that...I slapped her...across the face.”
Brandt closed his eyes and sighed. He knew just what Ai was referring to...how she ordered him to be whipped in the Great Hall...just to get his beloved wife to talk... He didn’t care that she called him weak. He was just feeling more and more guilty for not being there to calm his wife down before things got worse...before she slapped Ai across the face.
“And then...she...wasn’t even phased by it,” Grey said as the rage increased inside her all over again.
“Let’s one thing straight here, you bitch. Say anything like that…about my husband again…or anyone in my family for that matter, and I will make your life a living hell.”
“What you mean how your husband is a weak man who couldn’t protect you or this island? Or maybe your pathetic son? Barely even man and not fit to lick the dirt off my boot, let alone lead your pathetic people.”
“I told her to stop...to stop insulting you...or I would make her life a living hell,” Grey said cringing at her words, “but...nothing phased her again. She insulted you again...saying that you couldn’t protect me...or the island...and then Sven...she said he wasn’t fit to lick the dirt off her boot or lead...our people...”
Brandt mentally cringed. He was starting to see why Grey accused Ai of pushing her on purpose. It was almost as if she knew just how to get Grey to react like she did, and when Grey did what she wanted...Ai kept going. “Then what?” he asked her.
Grey closed her eyes tightly as her words and the punches came back...increasing the shame came back tenfold.
“SHUT!” Punch. “UP!” Punch. “YOU!” Punch. “BITCH!” Punch. 
“I...I punched her...again...” she said. “I yelled for her to shut up and punched her.” She covered her mouth with her hand as the memories continued to flood back.
Ai sat up a little and spit some blood onto the floor before looking up at her, still grinning though she now sat bruised and bloody. “What, is that all you’ve got? I’ve gotten worse than this from my nan.”
Grey closed her eyes even tighter as if trying to block out Ai’s haunting voice...but it was all in vain as the memory kept coming.
“And to think, where was this fire when you failed to protect your pitiful little island?” 
“I didn’t fail. You didn’t give me a chance to use this fire. You threatened my husband and my dragon and my men. I had no choice.”
“Please, you always have a choice. You just don’t have the will to do all that is necessary. You’re as weak as your husband and unworthy of being chief.”
“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!” 
The Half-Nix grunt as her fist impacts her cheek, but the smile is still there, that wicked, hateful, rage inducing smirk sat on her face. “Pathetic. Just like the rest of your family.” With that she spit in her face, a mixture of saliva and blood landing smack on her cheek.
“STOP INSULTING MY FAMILY!” Grey shouted as she brought her fist down on Ai’s face yet again. “WE ARE NOT PATHETIC!” She punched Ai again in the face as the rage and anger and sadness mixed altogether inside of her. “JUST STOP!”
“It’s okay, Grey,” Brandt said taking his wife’s hands into his again.
“No, it’s not, Brandt,” Grey said pulling away and getting up from her seat moving away. “I just...beat up a prisoner...a restrained, unarmed prisoner! How is that okay? As soon as Lila goes in there to bring her to the Jaw, she will surely notice the bruises!”
Brandt closed his eyes and sighed as he stood up and walked over to Grey slowly as she watched breathing heavily. “I know, it does...it is pretty bad,” he began as he gently placed his hands on her shoulders. He really was at a complete loss for words. It definitely sounded like Ai knew how to get to Grey...to get under her skin...but in the eyes of everyone else, it didn’t matter. Grey still did it, and she was the Chief of Haligan Island...a leader. That...was not going to look good to Lila...or to anyone for that matter. “But before we start getting crazy here, can you just tell me why you did it? What...made you do it? It was just words, Grey. Why didn’t you just ignore it?”
The Chief sighed. “I...don’t know what happened or why...but...” she said, “it was like...it was like I was watching myself do it...like I was outside of my body watching it happen. There was a part of me that...screamed for me to stop hitting her, but...the other part...”
“Screamed for you to do it...” Brandt finished, “only louder...”
Grey nodded looking at her husband as her thoughts became more clear. “Yeah...screamed for me...to do it,” she said, “and I wanted to. I wanted to...make her hurt...to wipe that smug grin off her face... She’s sitting in our prison without a care in the world for a few days while we were her prisoners for...2 weeks...wondering if we would ever see each other again...if we would ever see our kids again... She...whipped you...just to get me to talk...imprisoned us...threatened to kill you, our soldiers, Shadow, and me if I didn’t surrender when she first got here, and she just sat there...with that smug look on her face...telling me that I was weak to surrender and that I could’ve fought...that I was weak...that you and our son were weak...that I was unworthy to be Chief...and I wanted her to feel that same fear...and pain. I wanted to hurt her...I hated that she didn’t. And I hate...her for not...for doing all she did. I just...hate her, and I know it’s not an excuse. I’m well aware of that, but I just...” Tears formed in her eyes as she covered her mouth feeling the shame and the guilt increase tenfold feeling her fist still making contact with Ai’s face and hear the words she and the Captain exchanged in that interrogation room.
“Shhhh...” the Chief’s husband said soothingly as he pulled Grey in for a hug wrapping his arms around her...reminding her that he was there no matter what and that he wasn’t leaving her. “It's okay, my love. It’s okay.” 
As soon as he hugged her, the tears broke through, and she began to sob clutching onto him while minding the scars under his shirt...a constant reminder of one of her utter failures...to protect the man she loved...the man she vowed to spend the rest of her life with. “I know you think I’m a horrible person,” she said through the tears. 
“No, you’re not,” Brandt said as he pulled away so that he was looking right at his wife. “You’re not a horrible person. Don’t you believe that for a second.”
“But she said...” Grey began to say. 
“Forget what she said,” Brandt quickly said. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Yes, what you did...was...it’s...not good...it...it was wrong, but you’re not a horrible person. You just made one bad choice.”
Grey sighed but didn’t say anything.
Brandt then let out a sigh of his own. “Look, I’m...I’m not going to lie to you,” he said taking her face into his hands holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world. “This...” he sighed hating that he had to say this, “once Lila sees what happened...there most likely will be some consequences, but...no matter what happens, Grey, no matter what...I love you so much...always have...always will. I promise I’m with you every step of the way, and we will face it together.”
Through her tears, Grey smiled. “You really don’t have to,” she said. “I’m the one who did it, not you. I would never expect you to do anything like that.”
“Sweetheart,” Brandt said, “it’s what I promised to do when I married you almost 19 years ago...in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for better or for worse...till death do us part. Nothing will change how much I love you. You could murder someone, and I’ll still love you.” Brandt cringed as soon as he saw Grey’s eyes widen. “That was poorly worded, but you get my point.”
Grey chuckled and sniffled as she leaned forward and hugged him tightly. “You really are the best,” she said.
“No, you’re the best,” Brandt said. “You will get through this. I will be right by your side. No matter what.”