Splatoon vs First Person Shooters

The protagonist of Nintendo's Splatoon, Agent 3, and figurehead and recurring character of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, Captain John Price, rap against each other to see who is the better shooter.
==Cast==
Zach Sherwin as Captain Price
Joana Ceddia as Agent 3
Kimmy Gatewood & Michelle Glavan as Callie & Marie
EpicLLOYD as ???
Nice Peter as ???
Dan Bull as ???
== Intro==
=== Announcer:===
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
CAPTAIN PRICE
VS
AGENT 3
BEGIN!
==Battle==
===Agent 3:===
Better grab your fishing poles, ‘cause I’m itching to snatch a CoD 
If this squid was any less dangerous, she’d be an Elder God 
I’m a real One Man Army with the works to tear through your perks 
You milk a series like the cows that were hurt in the making of this verse 
My wits are sharper than my jaws and I’m biting holes in your boat 
I’m advanced past your “Modern Warfare” and won’t even leave a Ghost. 
I’ll have a Shrimp Kicked to stomp out this vermin like a Roach 
Call your regime to the scene. They were never one to miss a roast
===Captain Price:===
Mission Brief: Silence shrill squeaks. This Krill’s weak. 
Piece of Octo-pi. Your ink strike won’t top my Killstreaks 
Better make a better friend than an alleyway creeping loner,
Else this Schoolgirl’s getting Splatted by a different Super Soaker 
Enough of this rude clown. You gonna change into a dude now? 
I’ll still take this cartoon down and turn Octo Valley into a Nuketown 
(Captain Price jumps on to a helicopter, which begins take off.)
I’m extracting from your attack but the one who’s saved is yourself 
Your whole theme is one big meme, so I’ll see you in Shell
===Agent 3:===
I’m guessing your second verse is DLC, but using your flows, I’m broke 
Why tell your raunchy pedo jokes when Vlad already dropped the Soap?
So stick to fighting nazi’s after I shove proof in this sham’s face, 
That the Doc could make zombies but still can’t revive your fanbase 
(The scene changes to a rainy and moody background. A tank rolls up, the hatch popping open, as Henry Blackburn exits.)
===Henry:===
You want a Turf War on my Battlefield? You’re out of luck, it seems 
I’m Burst-in this Urchin’s bubble. You’ve got some Bad Company. 
This Killer Wails a iller tale than this shriller failure’s thin grounds 
Better put those fins to use because a larger Shark is inbound 
This cephalopod’s less than a fraud. She’s long since forgotten 
Crunch a Squid like a dolphin, flows like the water you dissolve in 
It’s a different game when I bring the pain as my cargo takes her 
Semper Fidelis. The Octodad Faker has met her Mario Maker
===Agent 3:===
A clean cut for this Preston redux to mention that plumbing peanut
But I’ll make a mess of you that not even he could clean up
All your Salt Spraying can’t hide your evident lack of talent, 
So let me keep things balanced and have my Amiibo give me a challenge,
‘Cause a slacking shark’s attacks are ensnared by my traps, and 
Even if you were a Megalodon, you couldn’t rap with the Kraken 
‘Cause you’ve got way less than my game in this hate Fest 
To let Agent’s 1 & 2 say the rest, you failed to
STAY FRESH
===Henry:===
Your rhymes are paper thin. These eyes have seen men die, 
But nothing more terrifying than this red tyke’s world of hentai 
I’m calling in a payload for this scapegoat, better stay low 
A new challenger’s got a Covenant to leave you with a Halo 
(The tank Henry rode in is lifted and single-handedly thrown into the air to reveal the final challenger, Master Chief.)
===Master Chief:===
First Strike on the mic and this dyke’s bound to get Re-Freshened 
You’re in for a painful lesson if a paintbrush is your biggest weapon, 
The Demon is teaming you. Let’s see if squids go to heaven, 
Say your prayers. I’ve brought your bible verse - John 117 
But before I leave you more neglected than your console, 
I’ll leave you sick and numb like anyone using motion controls 
Cost you more cash than your hats when I come in to rap foes 
Display your ass like the trophy you’re stuck as in Smash Bros
(A static screen appears as a transmission from Captain Cuttlefish comes in.)
===Captain Cuttlefish: ===
Agent? Can ye hear me? Yer current opponent is a scary one! 
Yer up against a devil! He’s tougher than any Octarian, 
(A briefcase containing the Hero Suit appears in front of Agent 3.)
But with the right weaponry, you might be able to teach 
Him that he should have died with Reach! Give ‘em heck, Agent 3!
===Agent 3:===
Reporting in. Hero Suit will reboot this recruit when the storm meets the calm, 
Smash Bros? Let’s play by those rules. No John’s 
I’m the boss - corrupt your thoughts like I’m a verbal Flood infection 
Combat Evolved with my species, while your’s met natural selection 
Stop you in your tracks like your film - Drop you like your crew 
You’re not slick, Captain Dick, go back to Red vs Blue 
For a planetary tin-man, think you’d know how to can it, 
Your only stunts against grunts show you’ll never live up to Samus
===Master Chief:===
I’m legendary. You’re rapping easy, while I’m spitting pro mode, 
Could’ve done this blindfolded. Call it 360 no scope 
When my clips are emptying, we’ll see if you ever sing, 
I’LL give ‘em hell with bombshells because tank beats everything
===Agent 3:===
Stick to napping, Captain. Your planet’s the least of your troubles, 
You can’t best me, it’s Destiny - I’ll leave your entire franchise Pummeled 
Way to be, Agent 3! Now ditch him like his Mama, 
And super jump back home. His career’s as dead as Cortana
==Outro==
===Announcer:===
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP-
(The logo gets riddled with bullets.)
Ugh… battles…
<poll>
WHO WON? 
Splatoon 
First Person Shooters 
</poll>