'TotO' possible beginning

Soooo I'm just playing around here and you can tell me if this scares your pants off. (jkjk) not for real. But here's the prologue I'm considering ... (warning .. it's a little bloody) TotO is a rather dark and violent story) Also I'm sort of writing it in first person POV so yea. OYAN practice kinda. I doubt it will be first person for real. Yea. Enjoy and don't bombard me with snowballs for not starting TotO tomorrow ... XP
== Prologue; Price I must Pay == 
The blood flowed in my veins like liquid fire .. or was it liquid ice? I loathed to feel what I felt, I, the ruthless, the name feared by so many ... I was terrified. Maybe I wasn't as ruthless as I had thought.
Had I killed beasts in my life? Yes. More fellow vermin than else, but my cutlass and axe had shed woodland blood too.
I was not proud now. Maybe I had been once, but no longer. Maybe I deserved this.
No. I knew I did. To die as they had. To feel their pain. To feel the terror, the agony .. to feel. I had brought this on my own head. 
The terrible visage before me was one I hated .. I had always hated Madeye's lizards. And feared them too. So I would die by the claws of Lask .. but I would kill him too! He would not find me as easy as my poor crew, of whose bodies lay in carnage about me, along with the unmoving bodies of monitors.
I had perhaps a second to think this, before Lask lunged for me. I ducked, swinging my axe, but he leapt over it with surprising agility, landing on the bloodstained deck with a thump. "Thizzz izzzz mutiny!"
I snarled at him, fury rising within me so my voice came out as a yell. "Yes, this is mutiny fool! I've spent my life servin' your lord, an' he sends me and my two best friends off to die for our trouble? I hate Madeyes, I hate what he stands for, and I know the truth now, I know the truth! He hid it from me, and the very beasts he forced me ta capture told me! An' you've killed me crew, stained my ship in blood .. by this Ignasa I will make your blood stain these boards even if mine's along with it!"
The lizard lashed his tail, dropping onto all fours as he hissed, "You will die thizzz day, ferret!"
He lunged, I slashed at him with my cutlass. The dance of death had began. I could hear the thumping in the captain's cabin .. my cabin ... and I knew my 'prisoners' were trying to get out and help me.
Nobeast could help me now, save Ignasa. 
Lask was truly fearful as he charged me .. like the legend sea monsters I also feared, in the bottom of my heart. I leapt over him, throwing my axe down as I did. He ducked away, but could not escape my fury .. my axe severed half his tail from his body.
The monitor roared in pain, lunging at me before I could recover my axe. I tried to dodge, but his lethal claws dug into my right leg, through my boot, sending pain lancing up my leg. I heard myself scream, though my paw had already guided my cutlass into his ribs.
Lask was too fast .. his claws shot out, catching me in the side and sending me reeling to the deck, my blood mingling with what was already there. I tried to roll, tried to do anything to stop the inevitable, but as the lizard's claws tore into my back, I knew it was over. My neck would be next.
I may have cried out .. there was by far enough pain to make me. However that second Lask wheeled away with a hoarse snarl of agony, and golden fur flashed in my vision. I wanted to yell at her, to tell her I was dying anyway and this was not her place.
But she was as insane as me.
Lask dodged her, catching the mouse a terrible blow that I could have been certain was accompanied by the sickening crack of bone. Her sword clattered near my paws, as she slumped lifelessly to the deck, another body among the others. I hoped the abbot was smart enough to stay away.
Lask paused a second, blood flowing freely from his wounds. He turned his glittering, truly animal eyes upon me the next second. With the last of my strength I seized the hilt of the golden mouse's glorious sword, and he did not seem to notice. He ran at me with murder in his gaze, and in the last possible second, I raised the unstoppable weapon. 
The lizard ran full force onto the blade, impaling himself with a strangled, shocked, and hissing cry. 
I stared dully at my adversary's lifeless form, my world turning gray as I snarled hoarsely, "Nobeast .. defeats .. Romsca .. freely."
Reality dimmed to nothing as I whispered, "Ignasa forgive me .. for my evil. You have .. judged .. me well."
Three friends torn apart by Malimore. Two saved by Ignasa. One following their own path. Return for the final chapter. See the world like never before .. through a pirate's eyes. 
What is so special about the Ocean's Tears? Why do beasts murder, war, duel, and slay to own them? Why are seven rose colored pearls so important? Is there more to them than what can be seen? 
Embark on a tale of honor, valor, war, fear, and sacrifice .. as the worlds of vermin and woodlander collide as never before. Where is the line? How far will desperate beasts go? 
What defines good?
Can Ignasa shed light on one of the world's darkest mysteries? Or is this the end? 
Find out soon, with Tears of the Ocean! 
(coming winter 2015/2016) or who knows? Perhaps sooner? ;P 
And here's a little theme music to go with it .. (no seriously this song is like .. perfect for our pirate friends. It's all instrumental, and it just reminds me of a wild chase at sea ..)
While you're at it I recommend most of this person's music, at least all the ones that have 'Epic' or 'Fantasy' in the title .. they are amazingly beautiful. This one 'Sons of the Storm' had TotO written all over it. ;)
Also, since TotO is somewhat Chinese ... this fits beautifully :) 
And this one. This one is completely breathtaking :D 
Yup. There you have it. Don't read into it too much mateys .. would I really kill my own fursona in the prologue? Or do I have something meaner in mind ...?
What do you think of it? Is that a whopping start or what? XP
Category:Sayna's Fanfiction