Lethal beyond the arc

lethal beyond the arc is the eleventh episode of Season Four of CrazySponge Died: The Series.
==Transcript==
[episode begins at the doctor’s office]
CrazySponge’s Doctor: Hm… Mr. Sponge, it looks like you have gained some weight. [camera zooms out to show a fat CrazySponge]
CrazySponge: Well of course, ever since THE ONE AND ONLY PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP!!! came back into power and ENDED THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY INFLATION under JOE BIDEN’S AMERICA, I’ve been getting my money’s worth of the Cheesecake Factory pasta.
CrazySponge’s Doctor: Right… well, it looks like you’ve had too much. You need to lose some weight, and that starts by getting some exercise.
CrazySponge: I get plenty of exercise! I burn thousands of calories when I fuck my Box Productions child slaves.
CrazySponge’s Doctor: Honestly, if you did the amount of work they did, you would be looking a lot thinner. [shakes head] But anyway, I suggest taking up a sport. Basketball’s a good one, I highly recommend it.
CrazySponge: I mean, I own a basketball team. Don’t really know anything on how to play it.
CrazySponge’s Doctor: Oh, so that’s why the Hooplas got swept by the Jewels.
CrazySponge: Actually, we WON BY A LOT! THE ELECTION WAS RIGGED BY THE DEMOCRATS! Welp, see ya later, nerd.
CrazySponge’s Doctor: Hey! You have to pay for the checkup!
CrazySponge: I own the biggest company in the world, I don’t have to pay for ANYTHING!
CrazySponge’s Doctor: But you just said you bought Cheesecake Factory- [camera zooms out] aaaaand he’s gone. Welp…
[scene transitions to CrazySponge walking onto a basketball court with a ball]
CrazySponge: Time to become the greatest street basketball player of all time! [shoots basketball, travels in slow motion towards the net. We see an excited CrazySponge before a penguin-banana infused creature blocks the shot before it hits the net]
Golfpecks256: NOT SO FAST!
CrazySponge: [gasps] OH NO! IT’S THAT DAMN BANANA!
Golfpecks256: THAT’S RIGHT! Ready to lose, just like Trump did?
CrazySponge: You mean like BIDEN DID?!?! I will beat you, trust me.
Golfpecks256: Nobody can beat me in a 1v1 in basketball. I’m lethal beyond the arc.
CrazySponge: You’re on! [whispers to himself] I’m screwed.
[cuts to CrazySponge checking the ball to Golfpecks.]
Golfpecks: First to 21 wins! Get ready! [Golfpecks dribbles back and forth a bit, before stepping back and knocking down a 3 pointer. CrazySponge shakes his head]
CrazySponge: Damn it!
Golfpecks256: I TOLD YOU!
CrazySponge: SHUT UP! [checks ball to Golfpecks, as he dribbles again and drives the rim, juking CrazySponge out and hitting the easy layup, 5 - 0]
Golfpecks256: That’s right, nobody can stop me once I get my fingers on the ball!
[game continues, Golfpecks misses a shot and CrazySponge gets the rebound]
CrazySponge: Let’s go, I finally have the ball! [takes ball back behind the 3 point line, starts dribbling] Oh boy, I’m about to end your whole career, Golf.
Golfpecks256: Nope.
CrazySponge: Yep. Watch this, because- [Golfpecks swipes ball away and drives the basket, dunking] HEY!
Golfpecks256: You should quit right now before things get out of hand, you know.
CrazySponge: You think that when my child slaves starting a revolution against me, I quit? FUCK NO! Game on, penguin!
Golfpecks256: Whatever you say.
[game continues with a montage of CrazySponge getting embarrassed by Golfpecks. He continues to dunk on him, block his shots, hit easy 3 pointers, and we end the montage by seeing CrazySponge out of breath sitting down on the bench as he’s approached by Golfpecks]
Golfpecks256: Welp, 20 - 0. Game point.
CrazySponge: You know, Golf, you’re clearly better than me. You can have the win.
Golfpecks256: As much as I would like to gloat about that, I want to rub it in your face one last time.
CrazySponge: You’re gonna win anyway! You just need one more shot.
Golfpecks256: I’ll tell you what. [hands ball to CrazySponge] You can have the ball. If you score on this possession, I’ll give you the win. But if you don’t, then I WIN AND WILL BRAG ABOUT IT FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS!
CrazySponge: [looks back, nods head] Alright. [gets off of bench] You will regret this. 
[cuts to both of them on the court. CrazySponge is dribbling, as Golfpecks is in a low defensive stance.]
CrazySponge (thinking to himself): Alright Aidan ol’ boy, you’ll find a way to win this. Just catch him lacking.
Golfpecks256 (thinking to himself): Nothing can stop me now. Not even-
CrazySponge: Oh my god, Golf, is that a bucket of strawberries over there?
Golfpecks256: [eyes bulge, as he turns around] WHERE?!
CrazySponge: AHA! [begins to drive to the basket, as Golfpecks turns back around to see CrazySponge almost at the rim. Golfpecks makes a run for it, attempting to block the shot. He lunges in the air, sticking his arm out, as CrazySponge has the ball in his hand, up in the air. He releases the ball, and Golfpecks is able to get a hand on the ball, changing its direction and causing it to go up. Both of them fall to the ground, looking back at the ball, both of them with nervous expressions. The ball starts to come down, hitting the backboard, and then hitting the rim several times. CrazySponge stands up praying that the ball goes in, and after a few seconds of rolling around, the ball finally goes in the net.]
Golfpecks256: WHAT?!?! THIS GAME WAS RIGGED! I’LL GET KIRKBURN TO GIVE ME THE WIN RIGHT AWAY, AND YOU’LL SUCCUMB TO THE POWER OF FANDOM STAFF! [runs away crying]
CrazySponge: Oh my god… I can’t believe I won! I BEAT GOLFPECKS256 IN A 1V1, EVEN WHEN HE IS LETHAL BEYOND THE ARC! [laughs] I am the greatest basketball player ever. 
[camera cuts to a bush, where we see it ruffling, and Michael Jordan comes out]
Michael Jordan: Whatchu just say, tits?
CrazySponge: uh oh
Michael Jordan: Do you know who you’re fucking with?
CrazySponge: Uh… LeBron James?
Michael Jordan: WRONG! I’m boutta send you back home to your family…
CrazySponge: Gnarly dude, the coronavirus pandemic that started in Wuhan, China is currently ongoing. How is one expected to spend time developing intimate relationships with friends and family if I am currently unable to due to lockdown restrictions?
Michael Jordan: Alright, that’s it. [passes ball to CrazySponge] Check up.
CrazySponge: o [checks ball to Jordan, as he points at CrazySponge and directs him to go under the rim. He waddles over, as Jordan starts sprinting to the rim with the ball. He picks up his dribble, jumps, and dunks the ball with so much force the he ends CrazySponge’s whole career… and his life]
Michael Jordan: Oh my god, I killed CrazySponge, oh god oh fuck! [laughs] Well, I still got it. [kisses all 6 of the rings on his fingers and walks away]
[Title Card flashes saying “ONE YEAR LATER…”]
[We cut to Jordan and others in a room filming for The Last Dance 2. Jordan is in front of multiple cameras, as well as an interviewer.]
Interviewer: Mike, about a year ago, we saw you take on CrazySponge in the courts over by the hood. What inspired you to kick his ass in a 1v1, and even kill him with the most ferocious dunk we’ve ever seen?
Michael Jordan: Well, when he said he was the greatest basketball player, called me LeBron James, and called me a gnarly dude… I took that personally.
[episode ends]
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