Dayville

Hello, newest citizen! Welcome to Dayville, Home of the Happys and the best town on this side of Nothing! We are very pleased you have decided to grace our quaint little burg. My name is ΛXΣᄂ and I will be your guide for today! Before we begin our tour, there are a few very important rules we must discuss. 
# Keep a smile on your face! 
We try to keep our community as upbeat as possible, less we incur the wrath of our benevolent Founders! Therefore, please remain smiling for the duration of our visit! If we catch you slipping, we will not hesitate to jab you with a hot iron poker to encourage that beautiful smile of yours! Trust me, this is as merciful as we can be... 
2. Don’t stare at the Happys! 
Happys are permanent residence of Dayville. We pride ourselves on hospitality, and we expect politeness in return. So, should you find yourself staring into the empty, hollow eyes and stretched, strained smiles of the Happys, we highly recommend that you look away and seek out the nearest safe house! 
3. Steer clear of The Man in the Stripped Suit! 
The Man in the Stripped Suit is our town’s lovely one-man law enforcement! Don’t let His humanoid, yet unsettlingly warped, features fool you! He is very good at His job and tends to lean towards more... paranormal solutions. But, so long as you stay out of His way and keep His laws, He won’t even think about gorging on your intestines! Well, maybe He will a little. But we’re getting off track! 
Those are the rules you will need to know for now. But, if you decide to go through our Permanent Smiles Citizenship Program and join our Happys, you may need to learn some of Dayville’s more complex regulations. I’d say it’s about time we began our tour! We don’t want to keep you waiting forever! 
Destination 1: Dayville City Limits 
Dayville was established by the Founders several millennia ago here in what is now known as Noon Valley! Noon Valey was named after the incredible phenomena of its unending noon! Here in Dayville, we enjoy blinding sunlight 24 hours a day, every day! This keeps our residence (and visitors) awake and smiling! 
Destination 2: Town Hall 
The ominous obsidian monolith you see before is Town Hall. From here, the Founders have a great vantage point of the entire town! Remember, They see everything... 
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So be on your best behavior! 
Destination 3: Sherrif’s Office 
Also known as The Dwelling of Screams, the Sherrif’s Office is home to Dayville’s law enforcement, which we mentioned consists of The Man in the Stripped Suit and no one else. The Sherrif's Office is located on prime Dayville real-estate, despite the tourtered screams. There isn’t a wall in sight to block the searing rays of Noon Valley’s magnificent sun! We reserve the best for the brave beings dedicated to protecting our town. 
Destination 4: Farmer’s Market 
The Farmer’s Market is the economical center of Dayville! Our very own Happys sell a variety of goods and services, from altar cleaning to the Dayville patented Smile Correction Kit! The products of our citizen’s labors help keep this quaint little town running. 
Destination 5: Cactus Green 
Cactus Green is one of many suburban neighborhoods that call Dayville home! Neat little houses, all in a row, with pristine lawns and chipper faces! Doesn’t it just make you crave for home? Should you pass our Citizenship Program, you will learn all the regulations of home upkeep as laid down by the Founders. The town must always look its best, and slackers and vandals will not be tolerated. 
Destination 6: Courthouse 
A beautiful example of Dayville architecture, the Courthouse is a place of many functions. It is almost as old as the town itself! Trials were held here, but since The Man in the Stripped Suit took over, we’ve had no need for them! Any miscreants up to no good are disciplined in the Sherrif’s Office. The Courthouse is now used as a gathering place during town meetings, as it is large enough to accomidate the whole town, as well as our Founders. How it grows to match the population, I will never understand. The Courthouse is also home to the Permanent Smiles Citizenship Program! All testing and facial reconstruction is done on site by the Program’s trained professionals. 
Destination 7: Fire Station 
Due to the constant sunlight in the Noon Valley, fire prevention has been made a priority. Our brave firefighters risk their lives to keep our Happys safe and intact! However, the Founders retain the right to prevent response to any fire they believe necessary. Natural burnt offerings are preferred, after all. 
Destination 8: The Desert Whistle 
The Desert Whistle is by far Dayville’s most popular restaurant. It serves a wide variety of burgers, cactus juice, adult drinks such as snake blood, and much more! If you would like a recommendation, you can’t go wrong with the deep-fried scorpions! The toxic venom gives the dish a real zing! 
Destination 9: Echo Cave 
One of Dayville’s many tourist attractions, Echo Cave resides on the side of Mount Dusk. The cave is home to a wide variety of animals specimens, such as no-eyed fish and angel bats. What is an angel bat you may ask? Angel bats are an endangered species that exist only within the limits of Nothing. They have a very high mortality rate, due to the fact that they cut themselves open on stalactites in order to hunt. Their sweet-smelling blood attracts insects of all kinds, including maggots, mosquitoes, and desert tarantulas. A lovely specimen indeed! 
Destination 10: Callie Ann’s Family Farm 
Looking for a family friendly place to take the kids that isn’t full of bleeding suicide bats? Then come on down to Callie Ann’s Family Farm! Callie raises a wide variety of livestock, displaying them for your viewing pleasure. Families can enjoy the sights of one-eyed goats and free-ranged headless chickens. Did you know that Callie Ann’s Family Farm is the number one producer of meats and other assorted animals part in all of Dayville? Fascinating! On your way out, don’t forget to take a picture with the farm mascot, Charlie the Chupacabra! Callie Ann’s: We Breed em’, You Bleed em’! 
That brings us to the end of our tour! Dayville is a great place to settle down, raise some kids, and preform elaborate flame summoning dances in graveyards. I don’t know why anyone would want to leave! I hope you enjoyed your visit! As you continue your journey through Nothing, I’m sure you will find some very interesting places along the way, but none more interesting than Dayville itself! We’ll be seeing you again very soon...
Category:Reality
Category:Places