Transcripts 2002-03

Transcripts from March 2002 strips.
==March 1==
Panel 1Anne is squatting down over Richard, who is lying on the floor with a pained expression, and holding his head in her hand.Anne: Are you okay Richard?Anne: You hit your head pretty hard when you fell!Panel 2Richard immediately sits up and tightly hugs Anne, whose eye bug out in shock.Richard: Awww! Who's a cwever girl den?!Richard: Wes, you my cwever girl!Panel 3Richard backs away to be able to look Anne in the face, his hands on her shoulders. Anne looks taken aback.Anne: Soooo.... You're saying that you're HAPPY that I'm pregnant?Richard: Yup! Me happy wiv my cwever girl! Yup! Yup!Anne (thinking): Well he's either happy or brain damaged then!
==March 4==
Panel 1Richard holds Anne under her arms. Anne looks at Richard in confusion.Anne: But... I thought you said you didn't want things to change!Richard: I say a lot of things! I've been giving this a lot of thought while you were in the loo...Panel 2The camera looks face-on at Richard, who has a big smile and tilts his head at an angle.Richard: Timing could be better, financially, but we can work that out! It took me a while to realise it but I DO want to father your child! Actually I can't think of anything I want to do more!Panel 3Anne looks away in embarrassment. Richard droops his eyes and pouts, stupefied. A door and a short table with a potted plant on it are in the background.Anne: Well, um, actually, the test said I'm NOT pregnant!Richard: Huh?Anne: Shouldn't saying that be the easy part?
==March 8==
Panel 1Richard glares angrily at Anne, who looks away in mortification.Richard: Hold on! Why the hell did you tell me that you were pregnant if the test was negative?Anne: Um... Will I didn't exactly SAY that I was pregnant, but I just suggested that I was, so I cold see what you're reaction was! That's all!Panel 2Richard, still angry, looks away as he glowers. Anne glowers back at him.Richard: Oh I get it! It was a test to see if I did a runner or something! I must say your trust in me is phenomenal!Anne: Oh come on Richard!Anne: I knew you wouldn't run away! But I still have doubts about a man who bid £200 on a 12 foot, fibreglass shark on E-bay "because it looked cool!"
==March 11==
The Church of Poisoned Minds
Panel 1Al looks into the camera with a big, chipped-tooth grin and arms raised.Al: Hay guess what kids? Today (Monday the 11th) is my birthday! Yes I've been squandering the world's resources for a whole 23 years!Panel 2Al turns and raises his hand, pointing upward with his finger.Al: I mention this as it's my web site and I can do whatever the fuck I like, and as this happens once a year I thought you could live without an SSDD comic today...Panel 3Al turns around 180 degrees, the camera close-up on his now exposed red eye with twitching lower eyelid.Al: I mean there's PLENTY of time for comics isn't there? Loads of time before they put you in a box and bury you! ... hehehe!.... Loads of time to waste drawing this puerile shite for no reward while my life seeps away!Al: There's loads of time before you get old and start to wonder where the FUCK the time went and when the nurse will change your nappy! But I'm only 23... only 7 years till I'm 30! WEEE!
==March 15==
Panel 1Richard glares in anger as Anne stands behind him with her hands on his shoulders, apologeticAnne: Look, I'm sorry that I mislead you and I feel really bad about it now!Richard: *snort!*Panel 2Anne whispers in Richard's ear with a grin on her face. Richard sits at attention with shocked eyes.Anne: Look, I'll make it up to you! How about we ░░░░░░░░░░ tied up with ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░ with a hose and ░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ and honey?Panel 3Richard makes a disgusted face as he looks at Anne with one eye open. Anne backs off slightly, anxious.Richard: Jesus Anne! I can't believe you said that! That's sick, perverted, and depraved, even for you!Panel 4Richard gives Anne a big grin, to her smug satisfaction.Richard: So when do we start?
==March 18==
Panel 1From the end of the hallway, Kingston looks at Richard and Anne hugging on the floor.Kingston: *Ahhhh!*Panel 2Kingston looks over his shoulder at Norman, who is holding a wire coat hanger and a bottle.Kingston: Looks like they won't be needing that Norman. She's like, not pregnant!Norman: Aw dammit! It took me fuckin' ages to find the damn bleach!
==March 22==
Panel 1A two-lane road at night, lit by a single headlight. Mountains loom in the distance, with nothing but sand and the odd rock on either side of the road. The moon is waxing gibbous.Panel 2Front view of a motorbike rider with green helmet, thick brown jacket, and black/dark brown gloves. From context of the footer, this is Tessa. There is a lens flare from the headlight.Panel 3The motorbike continues riding into the distance, a 75-degree rotation from panel 1 but from a ways behind the motorbike.HTML footerDon't know these characters? Start here!
==March 25==
Panel 1Tessa is startled by a message in her mind, as indicated by the "!" above her head. A futuristic weapon strapped to her back is slightly more visible than in the prior comic.Transmission (Cook): *brzzzt!* Testing! Testing! 1-2-3Transmission (Cook): Hello? Tessa? Can you hear me? I hope so because this thing cost enough!Tessa: What the...?Panel 2Tessa scowls but keeps riding.Tessa ("thinking"): COOK! You fucking bastard! How did you get access to my cochlea implant? I thought this thing was turned off!Transmission (Cook): Well after when you kept turning your radio off in previous jobs, I bribed Tin-Head into giving me your access codes! Now I can beam straight into your head where you can't cut me off!Tessa ("thinking"): Good, now you can listen without interruption to what I'm going to do to that robot after I skin you alive and turn you into a hat!
==March 29==
Single PanelFull-panel view of Tessa riding the Black Shadow. The waxing gibbous moon is visible over the mountains. Tessa and Cook communicate via transmission.Tessa: Bloody hell, how much further? More then a little out in the sticks isn't it? Couldn't they have put this place somewhere closer to a city or something?Cook: Yeah they could have! Rather a long way to commute to an office block isn't it? Almost makes you think they're doing something they don't want people to see humm?Tessa: Ah, that's why you want me to have a butchers around the place!Cook: Yes. Also a little bit of industrial espionage has never hurt anyone has it?
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