Transcript:Horrid Henry's Sports Day

[The episode begins at school in Henry's classroom. Henry and Ralph are arm-wrestling]
Miss Battle-Axe: Henry? [walks over to Henry and Ralph] Henry!
Horrid Henry: [Henry wins the arm-wrestle] Yes! Nah-nah-na-nah-nah! [he sees Miss Battle-Axe] Huh?
Miss Battle-Axe: What did I just say, Henry?
Horrid Henry: [considers] Um, school will be closed tomorrow, Miss, so everyone can stay at home all day, watching telly and eating sweets.
Miss Battle-Axe: No. I said that tomorrow is sports day.
Horrid Henry: What?
Miss Battle-Axe: [walks away] Provided it doesn't rain, of course.
Horrid Henry: Sports day?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Title card shows]
[The scene changes to the garden. Peter is tied to a pole and Henry is singing and dancing around him]
Horrid Henry: Oooh, yicky, micky, sicky, sacky, yicky, yacky, sticky water...
Mum: [comes outside] What's going on?
Perfect Peter: Henry's doing a rain dance. [Henry continues singing and dancing] I'm the sacrifice.
Mum: [laughs] Oh no, you're not. You're going to bed. [she turns to Henry] Both of you. Come on hurry up, it's sports day tomorrow.
Horrid Henry: If it rains.
[Fluffy changes the scene from night to day]
Horrid Henry: [Henry opens the curtains. He looks outside and sees that it's sunny, and sighs] I hate sports day. It's pointless, and you have to wear shorts.
Mum: [from downstairs] Breakfast's ready!
Horrid Henry: And I never win anything.
Mum: [from downstairs] Henry!
Horrid Henry: [a butterfly flies in through the window and lands on Henry's nose. Henry sneezes. The butterfly flies off and sneezes too] I hate butterflies too. [Henry swats the butterfly and it flies away]
[The scene changes to the kitchen. Mum is cooking hard-boiled eggs and Peter is practicing]
Mum: I'm so proud of my little athlete. I just know you're gonna win that egg and spoon trophy again!
[The door opens and Henry comes in, clutching his stomach and moaning]
Perfect Peter: Oh, poor Henry.
Mum: Oh, well, I expect you'll live.
Horrid Henry: [falls to the ground] I don't think I can go to school today, Mum. I've got the most terrible tummy ache. I think I might have to go to hospital.
Mum: Oh, dear. I hope they won't need to operate.
Horrid Henry: Operate?
[Henry imagines himself strapped to a hospital bed. Miss Battle-Axe approaches, laughing maniacally and carrying a chainsaw. She starts up the chainsaw and keeps laughing as Henry screams]
Mum: Henry, we both know you haven't really got tummy ache. You're just pretending so you can get out of school today.
[Henry growls]
Perfect Peter: Don't worry, Henry. It doesn't matter if you come last in everything again.
Horrid Henry: Huh?
Mum: And don't even think about getting sent home like last year.
Perfect Peter: Miss Lovely says it's not winning that counts. It's how you play the game.
[Henry transforms into the Horrid Octopus carrying sports equipment and scares Peter, who hides behind the table]
Mum: Don't be horrid, Henry! There, Peter. Your egg and spoon race eggs are done. Now, let's comb your hair. You've got to look your best when you receive your trophy.
[Mum and Peter leave the room. Suddenly, Henry gets an idea. He swaps the carton of hard-boiled eggs for another one in the fridge]
Horrid Henry: [laughs] Genius!
[The scene changes to the school football pitch where the children are doing warm-up exercises. Aerobic Al is doing laps around the table and blowing over Miss Lovely's trophy display. Sour Susan and Singing Soraya are laughing at Beefy Bert's exposed bottom while he is tying his shoelaces. Henry is eating sweets]
Aerobic Al: Sweets are bad for you, Henry. [keeps running] I've been in training for the 400 metres, and my dad hasn't let me eat any sweets for a month.
Horrid Henry: [amazed] No sweets for a month? That's impossible.
Aerobic Al: Not if you've got the willpower.
Horrid Henry: Oh yeah? [pops a sweet into his mouth] Mmm, this yummy gummy fuzzball is so delicious.
Aerobic Al: Oh, yummy gummy. Ooh, they're my fave.
Horrid Henry: Mmm. Are you sure you won't have one?
[Al is tempted for a moment and reaches out to take one]
Miss Battle-Axe: [over the loudspeaker] Take your places for the three-legged race. The three-legged race is about to begin. [Al jogs off. Miss Battle-Axe sees Henry and approaches him] Where's your partner, Henry?
Horrid Henry: I…umm…ummm.
Miss Battle-Axe: Margaret, you're Henry's partner for this race.
(Henry and Margaret together) What?!
Miss Battle-Axe: Hurry up. It's about to start.
[Miss Battle-Axe walks away. Henry and Margaret look at each other with reluctance]
[The scene changes to the three-legged race. Al and Gurinder are tied together, as are Ralph and William and Andrew and Susan. Henry and Margaret are tied together, standing as far apart as possible from each other]
Miss Battle-Axe: On your marks.
Moody Margaret: I'm in charge, Henry, and I want to win. So you'll do exactly what I say.
Miss Battle-Axe: Get set.
Horrid Henry: No, I want to get sent home, so you do what I say.
Moody Margaret: You reckon?
Horrid Henry: I reckon.
[Miss Battle-Axe blows the whistle to start the race. All the other pairs begin walking]
Moody Margaret: This way. [she tries to pull Henry]
Horrid Henry: No! This way. [he tries to pull Margaret, who falls to the ground. Henry starts walking, dragging Margaret along behind him]
Moody Margaret: Aah! Argh! Urgh!
Horrid Henry: This is more like it.
Moody Margaret: Aah! Ow! Ow ow ow ow!
Miss Battle-Axe: [sees what Henry's doing] Henry! [blows the whistle] Stop that at once. Henry!
Moody Margaret: Urgh! Argh! Henry! Ow! Ow! Ow ow ow ow! Urgh, Henry!
Miss Battle-Axe: Stop!
[Margaret grabs Andrew's leg and trips him up. This causes everyone else to fall over, including Henry]
Horrid Henry: Oi!
Children: Aah!
Horrid Henry: See Margaret? I told you we wouldn't win.
Miss Battle-Axe: [comes running over] That's it. This race is cancelled. [the children groan] And Henry, you horrid child. If you think I'm going to send you home, you're wrong. You are here all day. The rest of you, follow me.
Moody Margaret: [spits out dust] You'll pay for this, Henry.
Horrid Henry: [to viewers] That's the trouble with sports day – brings out the worst in people.
[The scene changes to the egg and spoon race. Miss Lovely is handing out the eggs. Tidy Ted looks nervous]
Miss Lovely: Don't worry, Ted. The eggs are hard-boiled. [Henry laughs, knowing this isn't true]
Miss Battle-Axe: Ready. Get set. Go! [blows the whistle]
[Everyone starts walking with their eggs]
Tidy Ted: [drops his egg and it breaks] Oh.
Horrid Henry: Yes!
Singing Soraya: [slips on Ted's broken egg and her egg goes flying behind her] Aah!
Lazy Linda: [Soraya's egg splats in her face] Eugh!
[Linda's egg goes flying. Beefy Bert and Spotless Sam slip-on Linda's egg and their eggs land on top of them]
(Bert and Sam together) Ugh.
[Perfect Peter crosses the finish line]
Perfect Peter: Yay! [he jumps for joy, and his egg flies through the air, landing on Miss Battle-Axe's head]
Miss Battle-Axe: This race is also cancelled. And nobody moves until I find out: who. Brought. Those. Eggs?!
Horrid Henry: I can't tell a lie, Miss Battle-Axe.
Miss Battle-Axe: [expects Henry to own up] Well?
Horrid Henry: It was Peter.
[The scene shows Miss Battle-Axe send Peter away. It then changes to show everyone lining up for the 400-metre race]
Miss Lovely: [over loudspeaker] Everybody take your places for the last race of the day: the 400 metres.
Moody Margaret: [shoves Henry aside] I'm going to beat you this time, Henry.
Horrid Henry: Well who cares? It's just a stupid race.
Moody Margaret: That's your problem, Henry. You don't care about anything. Which is why you never win.
Horrid Henry: [outraged] That's not true!
Miss Lovely: On your marks.
[Henry looks at the trophies. He imagines winning and the Queen giving him a big trophy, which he struggles to hold up]
Announcer in Henry's imagination: And the overall winner of every single thing in the entire world is: Henry!
Miss Lovely: Get set.
Aerobic Al: Hey Henry, I bet you your last gummy fuzzball I win.
Horrid Henry: Fuzzball? Fuzzball! [has an idea: Eureka moment] EUREKA! THAT'S IT! Sweets!
Miss Lovely: Go! [everyone apart from Henry starts running]
Horrid Henry: [starts running] Hey, anybody want a sweet? Sweets! [Henry throws a handful of sweets. Everyone stops to pick them up. Henry keeps going. He sees Aerobic Al ahead of him] Come on, Henry. You can do it. [he runs faster and catches up with Al] Oi, Al? Al! One last gummy fuzzball, coming your way! [he drops it on the ground. Al hesitates for a moment] Come on. You know you want it. [Al stops to pick it up. Henry crosses the finish line] Yes! Yes! YES!
[Henry imagines taking his shirt off and celebrating as fireworks go off behind him]
Miss Lovely: Well done, Henry! You are the school's new 400-metres champion. [she gives Henry his trophy. She and Miss Oddbod look at each other. Henry celebrates, and the children cheer]
[The scene changes to outside Henry's house. Sad music plays, and Peter sits on the doorstep, looking unhappy as Henry arrives home]
Perfect Peter: [sniffs] I can't go in there. I can't tell Mum I didn't win anything. She's going to be so disappointed in me.
Horrid Henry: [thinks for a moment, then unzips his bag. He takes out a trophy and gives it to Peter] Here, worm. Show her this.
Perfect Peter: But this is your trophy?
Horrid Henry: [takes out another trophy] No, this is my trophy. That's the egg-and-spoon one.
Perfect Peter: [gasps] You took it?!
Horrid Henry: The race was cancelled. Why would they need it? It's yours.
Perfect Peter: Oh!
Horrid Henry: For two weeks' pocket money.
Perfect Peter: [considers] Uh... uh... Deal!
Mum: [opens the front door and sees the boys with their trophies] Peter! I knew you'd win again. [hugs and kisses him] Henry? Oh. Henry! [kisses Henry] Well done, the pair of you. [she and Peter go inside] 
Horrid Henry: [to viewers] Like Peter said, it's not the winning that counts. It's how you play the game. The winner!
Category:Transcripts