Waylon Cracker-bag

Waylon Grape Cracker-bag (born February 23, 1964), also known as the "President of Everything", is an extraterrestrial politician from a distant planet outside of the solar system called "Ranchop" who served as the 176th President of Foxville (a country/city located in an area/nation known as the "United Lunchwagon" in the province/state of "Lowford") for two consecutive terms lasting from 2003 to 2011. The President of Everything is a stout bald man who apparently ran the country of Foxville (which is also where Milk Chan lives). He originally assigned missions to Milk, but whether she took them or not is her prerogative. President Cracker-bag proved to be inept and incapable at fulfilling his job, at one point firing his country's best missile (The Punishment Missile) on his own country at his own conclusion that his citizens would try to put him in the Gullotine or the electric chair. He has short, round arms and he frequently pounds on his desk when talking on the phone. Cracker-bag likes wine, women, and song but he usually enjoys cheap wine, loose women, and off-key karaoke. He also attracts flies and dearly loves his pet cat, Kanchi. During his presidental term, his desk was decorated with a different earthling anime or pop culture character figures. It was often rumored by ranchopians that he was named after earthling cartoon character Waylon Smithers from "The Simpsons", despite the fact that the show didn't exist in 1964. After leaving office in Early 2011, a ranchopian politician named Ricotta Midure took over and was sworn as the 177th President of Foxville, he has been assigning the missions to Milk Chan ever since.
Category:Real life characters
Category:Males
Category:Aliens
Category:Extraterrestrials
Category:Presidents
Category:Living characters