How Demon King Daimao Should Have Ended

==Plot==
A HISHE-inspired parody of DKD, that makes fun of a show I have a interesting relationship with, and no, not the dating kind. SPOILERS.
==Transcript==
Chapter 21 of KSDCA is still on the way, but on the meantime, I decided to do this for the fun of it. Even if the parody doesn't turn out to be well done, I figured that I give a major parody in the style of a YouTube channel I like a try. There's a possible chance I could do so with other series, but at the moment, I'll start with this. Enjoy.
(Cold Opening, with the scene where Mitsuko, the Academy's nurse introduces Akuto to the class)
Mitsuko Torii: Okay, fellow students, remember to give him a proper welcome. I mean sure, he's chosen to become Demon King, but don't exaggerate it like cartoon characters.
The class all still gulp nervously regardless.
Akuto Sai: Okay, look, how about I do a job so harmless, like maybe a janitor? Yeah, cleaning duty how's that?
Male Student: Uh, that makes means you're gonna kill people and keep secrets from the Academy.
Female Student: Yeah, a Fixer.
Male Student: No, it's kinda different.
Hiroshi Miwa: (Gasps) I am no spontaneously supporting you big time! I'm not worthy!
Akuto Sai: (Sigh) Okay, either you all know something, or people are really slow in telling me 
about this, cause I'm starting to be a be ticked off.
Junko Hattori: Not as ticked as I am!
Akuto Sai: Okay, how about you learn to breathe?
Junko Hattori: …That's ridiculous, but okay. (Takes a deep breath and…her anger subsides) Wow, so that's why I never calm down.
Akuto Sai: Phew…there, saved you getting away with possible property damage, possibly injuring others and have stupid misunderstandings. Now, have a weird crush with me.
Junko Hattori: (Puts her hand on his face) Don't push it.
Meanwhile, in a forest nearby…
Keena Soga: What am I doing here? Oh yeah…(finds a paper on her pocket) "Gemini", you will meet a boy in trouble who is destined to be something big. Wow, I'm weird…but strangely charismatic!
"How Demon King Daimao Should Have Ended"
(Moment from episode 3, with Akuto and Junko against the students)
Junko Hattori: Okay, so maybe putting a hit against you was a bad idea.
Akuto Sai: Maybe? To be rather honest, you didn't really think this through either, right?
Junko Hattori: Well, how was I supposed to know that they'd turn on me simply because—
Akuto Sai: Ooh, now who's in my shoes, eh?
Keena Soga: (Flies overhead) Oh, hi, guys. And yeah, I heard everything, but have no fear, the 
power of friendship shall save you!
Like in the real version, Korone is able to shoot rice with a large blaster that causes them to suddenly calm the students down.
Keena Soga: What did I tell you? Power of friendship!
Junko Hattori: (Blinks) I don't know you that well…for that matter you don't know me either.
Keena Soga: Well, don't you think it's fate?
Akuto Sai: Call it the power of misunderstanding to me. Anyways…how did you plan this out?
Keena Soga: Uh…(Thinking) Wow, I didn't think I'd do it that well…um…act dumb, act dumb! (Stops 
thinking) Um, Korone told me the details, (Shouts) right, Korone?!
Korone: (Blinks) She's still going to play dumb, is she…?
(Fast forward to episode 5, after Akuto's fight with Peter Hausen)
Peter Hausen: Oh, it only took like…two minutes, but we are drained. Say, how about being your 
master? I mean, it would sound kind of awkward, but—
Akuto Sai: Wait, I get a freaking dragon? Oh, heck yeah!
Peter Hausen: Wait, aren't you going to at least refuse a bit?
Akuto Sai: Who would refuse a dude like you?! I'm so on board on this!
Peter Hausen: (Blinks) Like a kid on Christmas morning…
(Fast forward to episode 8, after Korone tells them about Akuto's and Junko's arranged marriage)
Junko Hattori: (Blushes) Wait, what?! No!
Korone: Hey, Keena told me how you two seem close as friends, so it's only appropriate you two should be arranged.
Junko Hattori: Wait, whatever happened to you seducing him?
Korone: Over it. We're friends now.
Junko Hattori: Oh, good thing, you tell me now. You know, can't we talk like supposed friends would?
Korone: (Blinks, ignores her) So, Akuto, what do you think?
Akuto Sai: Yeah, my ears are muddled up for some reason, so…I dunno what you're talking about.
Korone: Arranged marriage, then.
Junko Hattori: (Groans)
Keena Soga: (Sleeptalking) P-pointless sequence coming up…
(Fast-forward to episode 10, with Junko and Eiko have their conversation before the fight)
Junko Hattori: So…we're endangering many people…
Eiko Teruya: Yeah.
Junko Hattori: …to hunt down one guy…
Eiko Teruya: Uh-huh.
Junko Hattori: …possibly even a war that could devastate the Academy.
Eiko Teruya: You got it. Oh, and did I mention I killed my Dad?
Junko Hattori: (Small pause) And yet you're not the true villain?
Eiko Teruya: Remember, Demon King Akuto we're dealing here, so deal with it.
Junko Hattori: Yeah, you're right, because either way, he still lied to me! And lying is really 
evil!
Eiko Teruya: Good girl.
(Fast-forward to episode 11, involving a scene with Michie saving Keena at one point)
Keena Soga: Wait, didn't you try to attack us during that scavenger hunt mess that was mostly my fault, now that I think about it?
Michie Otake: Spin-off retcon continuation bait.
Keena Soga: Huh?
Michie Otake: You'll get it soon enough. (Laughs)
Keena Soga: Fanfic? What?
(Fast-forward to later in the episode, when Korone faces Eiko)
Korone: Hey, Daddy's Girl, look who's back.
(Like in the real anime version Eiko's father appears, with half his head being made of metal.)
Eiko Teruya: Wh-what?! NOOOOO!
Eiko's Father: I saw through your scheme, think you could-
(However, unlike in the anime, Eiko quickly instead slices off his head. Luckily, since this is sort of family-friendly, there's no blood as his head just gets cut off)
Korone: Huh, that didn't work.
Eiko Teruya: (Laughing) Oh, man! What were you expecting? Me to fall down on my knees and yell? Yeah, like I would be shy to kill him again!
Korone: Well, plan B, then. (Uses a gun to shoot down Eiko with multiple bullets. Again, no blood as Eiko falls down screaming) Huh, a green haired girl killing another. There should be a joke here…
(Fast-forward to episode 12 as we learn about the gods creating the Demon King and all that mumbo jumbo)
Akuto Sai: Okay…so gods created the Demon King concept just so humanity can be destroyed, should the Law of Identity can be used.
Boichiro Yamato: That's about the gist of it.
Keena Soga: Yeah, my head kinda hurts…
Boichiro Yamato: Hey, at least give the prophecy credit, it's…at least something explainable!
Akuto Sai: Well, whatever, I'm gonna have an epic fight against Jesus.
Boichiro Yamato: You mean gods. Also, aren't you an atheist?
Akuto Sai: Unless it involves fighting Jesus, I'm okay with that! Hopefully it's not off-
screen! (Flies off)
(Later…)
Peter Hausen: Keena, pardon the fact that you're naked again…
Keena Soga: (Annoyed) Yeah…
Peter Hausen: Please, take this. (Gives her a tooth) I know that I don't have long to live—
Keena Soga: Wait, why me? I know Akuto's not here, but…we haven't even shared many 
conversations for me to be worthy to have this.
Peter Hausen: (Talking quickly) Just give it to Master when this is done, then.
Keena Soga: 'Kay.
(Later again, as Keena meets the human version of the Law of Identity)
Law of Identity: You are me. And I am you.
Keena Soga: I dunno, your pitch sounds a tad different. You kinda sound like that wolf girl 
that's with the student council.
Law of Identity: Huh, that's awkward. Anyways, how about I save you the details and instead go 
with either of these options? Should I either press a reset button, although the kind that causes you to still remember things while also forgetting some things, as well as possibly still have a certain friend's Demon King regime, causing a dumb ending, or give my infinite power to someone?
Keena Soga: Isn't that limited to the Demon King?
Law of Identity: Well, the catch is that anyone can have the power.
Keena Soga: Really?
Law of Identity: Yeah. No repercussions whatsoever.
(Keena would then try to say something, instead the next scene happens, in which the main cast is outside the wreckage of the Academy)
Lily Shiriashi: So…how the heck are we going to fix this?
Fujiko Etou: Magic, duh. Actually, come to think of it, if most of us have wands, why do people like you have special powers?
Lily Shiraiashi: Because shut up.
(Keena then appears by landing on the ground with her feet from flying slowly)
Akuto Sai: Phew, you're okay! We were really concerned about you!
(Awkward pause as the other girls, except who Korone, who actually looks concerned.)
Akuto Sai: Anyone?
Junko Hattori: I'm friends with her? Did I even actually have a normal conversation with her?
Fujiko Etou: She called me "big sister"…but barely have any conversations.
Lily Shiriashi: Um…I don't know you. And I feel bad somehow just for saying that.
Keena Soga: Yeah…I kinda have God's powers now. I can even change anything I want and reinvent even the fabrics out of all of you. (Chuckles) First, Akuto, you're gonna be the main villain, although kinda forced. Trust me, it'll make it better.
Akuto Sai: Eh? That can't be possible.
Keena Soga: Junko, you'll be freaking crazy. As in, complete nutso, almost to the point that 
fans should think you're the true villain.
Junko Hattori: Hey! But…family honor and stuff.
Keena Soga: Didn't you just technically betray them because you not-so-subtly love Akuto?
Junko Hattori: (Blushes) W-what?!
Akuto Sai: Yeah…I was pretending, Junko. Sorry. As soon as I saw your butt—
Junko Hattori: Enough!
Keena Soga: Fujiko, you'll actually be a competent villain.
Fujiko Etou: Oh, thank the heavens!
Keena Soga: Although you'll share the villain role with Eiko.
Fujiko Etou: You're not gonna have us have lesbian tensions, are you?
Keena Soga: Hey, it's the fans, not the writers, so…you can blame them when it happens.
Fujiko Etou: (Sarcastically) Goodie.
Keena Soga: Korone, I'm actually not gonna spoil you.
Korone: Well, thank you kindly for demoting my role.
Keena Soga: No, no, it's…difficult to explain.
Lily Shiriashi: Let me, guess, you and me are going to be enemies, too?
Keena Soga: Nope, we're buddies. Me and someone else will join your student council, form ourselves a cool team, get rid of some baddies and have tons of cool action moments, actually nicely-written romance on some of the characters due to good effort.
(Small pause as everyone else tilts their heads)
Lily Shiriashi: (Makes an awesome smile) I want in.
Keena Soga: Okay, mind-warping reality powers, go!
A big white flash blinds the screen, as suddenly, Keena and Merry Nightmare are seen on a café, sitting on a table.
Merry Nightmare: (Looking shocked)…Is that really what happened?
Keena Soga: I kinda wish, but I did sound sort of a jerk…it's only a draft, so there could be some teeny-eeny tweaks.
Merry Nightmare: You're not gonna make joke about the whole Mr. X thing?
Keena Soga: Now, now, it's best to not reopen unnecessary wounds. It'd be messy already.
Merry Nightmare: You could also mention the manga or light novels.
Keena Soga: (Groans)
Merry Nightmare: You really hated them, didn't you?
Keena Soga: The manga doesn't know how to write me and I the light novel, I end up with…UGHHHHH. I'm sorry, but if anyone pairs me with Akuto…I think I would vomit rainbows full of polluted garbage.
Merry Nightmare: Dang. That's harsh. What about the 4 minute shorts that America never got?
Keena Soga: (Gives a death-like glare)
Merry Nightmare: Okayokaythatneverhappenedthatneverhhapeneddontkill me!
Keena Soga: (Takes a deep breath) No, it's okay, it's okay. Thank goodness for Defenders of 
Constan Academy, though…even if I do admit there's some issues with it.
Merry Nightmare: You're gonna set logic in, aren't you?
Keena Soga: For starters, if I'm indeed meant to be the hero, are there any gender miscalculations, considering Hiroshi, so does that mean more than one hero could exist? Also, if Lily got her powers due to her mother trying to revive her with a cure, doesn't that mean that she's a mutant and is not human? Oh, and what was up with the Loups=Garous crossover? Does the writer have a fetish with characters voiced by Melissa Davis and Hilary Haag?
Merry Nightmare: Phbt, nah! Those two couldn't even draw flea markets! How dare they be married, hanging sweetly with their boyfriends and be Moms! Phooey! Ha ha ha!
Keena Soga: Um…I don't think you should say that.
Merry Nightmare: What, are we voiced by them or so—(suddenly, her voice is gone as she keeps opening her mouth, then realizing nothing's coming out)
Keena Soga: Yeah, that…then again, come to think it, it's been one year since Melissa has done- (Covers her mouth, whispers) I'll be quiet.
THE END
(Credits roll)
(Cold ending, scene from episode 6, before Lily kisses Akuto, however, unlike the real anime version…)
Lily Shiriashi: And now for your reward…(gets close to Akuto before suddenly stopping herself and instead walks away shyly)
Akuto Sai: Were you going to kiss me?
Lily Shiriashi: …Yes.
Akuto Sai: Any motivation, reason or explanation why?
Lily Shirashi: …No.
Fujiko Etou: And I have a feeling they won't be a payoff, is there?
Lily Shiriashi: (Covers her face with her hands and screams, which comes out muffled)
Junko Hattori: (Enters in the scene) Okay, I'm back from bathroom break. (Is confused at what she's seeing) Did I miss something weird that didn't make sense for no real reason?
Keena Soga: Wait, we're having a conversation?!
(Cue Starz Logo, and HISHE subscribe button thingy)
Keena Soga: Well, that was pretty fun. Please, press the subscribe button, cause you know you want to, even if you already are subscribed. Also, if you want to buy Demon King Daimao, you can either buy it through f.y.e or order it online through Rightstuf. Don't also forget to see Keena Soga and the Defendants Of Constan Academy. New chapter coming in a bit. Hopefully. Maybe? (Small pause) Bye~! (Turns invisible)
Category:Alternate Endings