Bloonus Andronicus

"Bloonus Andronicus" is the fourteenth episode of SBFW: Finding Bigfoot, and the fourth episode of the second season. Written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway, the episode was first aired on 10th March 2022 alongside "A Midsummer's Night Bloons". 
===Synopsis===
Sex Edward and Adam Sandler get into a drunken brawl, upsetting Mr. Renaud.
===Transcript===
[The episode starts with Jew Wario beatboxing and a group of rowdy bloons soldiers cheering and making general chatter. They are standing in a crowd that surrounds a clearly drunk Sex Edward, and Adam Sandler, who is also drunk but kind of always looks like he is anyway. The two are seemingly having a rap battle.]
Adam Sandler: I never thought that Renaud would hire such a suck-up! Your parents looked at Baby Ed and thought “Wow, what a fuck-up!”
[The crowd cheers and jeers Sex Edward, who starts rapping, though he slurs his words.]
Sex Edward: Ayo, I haven’t liked you since you were in that movie Click! I’m surprised Gus ain’t hit, you got the smallest of dicks!
[The crowd cheers again.]
Jew Wario: Oy vey, how’s he gonna come back from that?!
Adam Sandler: I may be Jewish, I may not be funny. I may not make the most largest amount of money, but at least I have my dignity in check. Cuj mi péro, brácho - I just dissed you in Czech!
[The crowd goes wild, but Sex Edward gestures to the crowd to stay silent, resulting in Jew Wario stopping his (simplistic) beatboxing.]
Sex Edward: You think that shit worked on me? You think that it hurt? You’re sponsored by the letter L like it’s Ernie and Bert!
Jew Wario: [whispering under his breath] Where’s he goin’ with this?
Sex Edward: Got green skin like Mr. Gus the way I’m counting these racks. Call up Mrs. Sandler, she busy fondling sacks. Not just mine, but my brothers, we passing it back. They should call me Dr. Nick because I got the knacks.
[The crowd starts to boo.]
Robert: This wasn’t in the Shakespeare play!
Sex Edward: [yelling to the crowd] Shut the fuck up for a second, and let me speak! [to Adam Sandler] I hope you kill yourself, you useless freak. 
[After moments of silent contemplation, Adam Sandler grabs Sex Edward with a growl and brandishes a knife, threatening him.]
Adam Sandler: I may be under the influence, but if one motherfucker goes too far, I am not afraid to let them never see the light of day again. Capiche? 
Sex Edward: I ain’t afraid of no Jews.
[Sex Edward knees Adam Sandler in his stomach, leading him to recoil in pain and drop the knife, which Sex Edward swiftly picks up and points daggerdly at Adam Sandler.]
Sex Edward: You may have just threatened me, but you didn’t pull any punches. Well, I ain’t no bitch, Pip.
[Sex Edward slides the knife onto Adam Sandler’s flesh as he struggles to stand up.]
Adam Sandler: Please, Ed, have mercy! You know we get a little rowdy when we’re drunk and all. It ain’t nothing to fight about.
[Sex Edward slits the knife into Adam Sandler’s chest, with every bloody slice fully audible, alongside Adam Sandler’s gruesomely pained moans. Adam Sandler, too weak to protest, takes his last look around at an unmoving crowd of soldiers, in fear of interfering.]
John.: [whispering to Jew Wario] Shouldn’t we do something?
Jew Wario: No, not at all. It’s all fate.
[Adam Sandler makes one last offscreen gasp before his head drops to the floor, dejectedly, with a syrupy trail leaking out of his chest onto the grave pavement. Sex Edward hesitantly pulls the blood-soaked weapon out of his former friend’s body, leaving a noticeable gash. Every word Sex Edward says echoes out like a flock of crows after midnight.]
Sex Edward: [voice cracking] Now, who’s next? Huh? Who wants some of this?
[We hear footsteps before the familiar face of Mr. Renaud appears. Sex Edward hides the knife behind his back.]
Mr. Renaud: Well, boys, how are the pleasantries? I understand you’ve been… [realises the corpse] up… all night. I… well, I– [chokes up] didn’t expect to see that today. Came as a s–s–surprise.
[Mr. Renaud breaks down and kneels by Adam Sandler’s corpse, as thunder strikes in the distance, causing a sudden rainstorm.]
Mr. Renaud: WHY?! WHO DID THIS TO YOU?! No… Ad– Adam… oh, my boy. By God’s name, by the balance of this God-forsaken Earth amidst the heavens and hells, they shall pay! 
[His words echo, and the episode fades out to black.]
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Category:SBFW: Finding Bigfoot
Category:2022
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Category:Rap battles
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