Persona BLEACHED 3: Chapter 11

Chapter 11: The Blade and Me
August 20, 2019
"(Let us push through together. I will lend you my strength, so that none may suffer as we have. Let us forge a contract.)"
"Let's do this together...Karas."
---
Power over shadow, and a blade of night. That was the strength I was given. The strength that came from within my own heart.
I thought.
---
October 5, 2019
"(That meanie isn't another Rin! The creep showed up here about a year ago, and my space's gotten smaller by the day! The shop's all I have left. All my happy memories about Papa when he was alive are here. If that were to go away, then that jerk would have full control! The jerk's been feeding off of Rin-chan's negativity, and it keeps getting stronger. It's almost to where Rin-chan won't have anything positive to think of, and it's all because of him!)"
"In case this rag doll wasn't clear enough, I am indeed Tohru Kubo. Or at least, I'm what's left of him. Though it might be difficult for you pea brains to comprehend, I'm no mere cognitive creation. I'm what you might call an insurance policy. Against my own demise. My sister always had such potential. Pity then, that she chose to waste her gifts and instead partake in childish interests. The world has enough optimists. I am a realist. I know what an ugly, sickly planet this truly is. And I knew a naive spirit like Ringo would've been eaten alive in such a world. I consider it an act of mercy."
---
Karas was a parasite.
She wasn't me. She was Tohru. His way of surviving past his own death. She would feed off of every ounce of despair I had, gaining more strength until eventually, she would overtake me. He would overtake me. This was something he learned from the Reaper--Kerberos' host and disciple--and to this day I feel involved some variation of her cells. Karas was not my real Persona. She was a demon using my face. 
My friends ventured into my cognition and disposed of her. I awoke to my true power. The real me had finally arrived. And the demon was gone.
I thought.
---
January 15, 2020
The girl came to on the forest floor.
She took a glance around. Nothing but dense forest as far as her eyes could see. She studied her own form. Naught but a humanoid mass of shadow.
"What is this...? Why am I here? I was just...Rin. Riiiiiin. That's right. She...she rejected me. Those nasty friends of hers booted me out. I shouldn't be here. That must mean..."
"Listen to me and listen well. You are my insurance policy. If my life comes to an end, it is on you to carry on where I left off. It will seem sudden at first. But never lose sight of what we must achieve."
"What to achieve...what I've got to do is..."
She felt something else nearby. Someone else was passing through the woods. Someone who was feeling intense amounts of despair.
Despair...
Despair...
"What I've got to do...is FEED." 
---
September 9, 2029
The stygian creature glared down at the trembling Shadow. "It's a special kind of terror people that come here have. Life itself is terrifying. Death becomes welcoming. What I offer them is an easier escape." Karas uttered, her voice even more distorted than before.
"An 'escape'?! You're out here killing people! What kind of escape could you give them?!" Shadow Natalia demanded.
"From damnation! I'm feeding on people that gave up on life a long time ago. Murder of oneself is one of the gravest sins a person could commit. What's gonna look better when you're staring Kerberos in the face and she decides where you're headed? Someone ripping you apart? Or ripping yourself apart? I know what I'd go with. So, danish, how about you stand there like a good girl and let me have my breakfast?"
"Don't you dare call me that! That's for my parents and them alone! And I'm not gonna let you turn me into birdseed!"
"Figured you'd be like that. You're not the first Shadow I've met that really didn't want to die after all. Too late for second thoughts, though. I'm here for a meal, and I'm getting it."
Karas unfurled a pair of gigantic black wings, and lunged at the bewildered Shadow, grabbing her and slamming her into a tree.
"What if I just let you go to do whatever? I'd give it another month, tops, before you came sniveling back, begging me to end you. Just let me put you out of your misery and eat, damn you!"
The Shadow let out a telepathic force that knocked the monster back, forcing her to release its hold. The Shadow fell to the ground, scrambled to her feet and ran over to Natalia's prone body. "You'd better not let us just die out here!" She merged back into Natalia, who jarred awake, to the sight of an angered Karas.
"Really gonna make this harder for me, creampuff? You're just making me even hungrier. And I've never tasted an awoken Shadow before. Not gonna miss out no--"
"Oh, shut UP already!" Natalia's eyes flared again, and held out her hands. Two trees were slowly uprooted out of the ground, and with a single motion, were brought down on top of the avian demon. Pinned to the ground, Karas proceeded to let out enraged shrieks. Natalia took the opportunity to make a break for it. Karas soon burst free, and let out another screech.
Natalia kept running. "So stupid...I'm never gonna see anyone ever again...I don't want to die...I can't--"
She tripped. But before she fell to the ground, someone caught her.
"Farewell...cruel world..." Natalia whimpered.
"Natalia?"
The voice was not that of the demon.
It was the voice of her doting best friend.
Natalia looked up to confirm as much. "Care...?"
Carrie embraced her tighter than she ever had before. "Oh, thank every deity out there...I thought I'd lost you. I'm so thankful you're safe..."
"Care...I'm sorry. I never should've--"
"Please, I'm just glad you're alright. Nothing else matters to me."
"Hey, there she is!" The rest of the group arrived. "I've never been more relieved to see someone." Kat said.
"Thank everything good that it's alright." Rin let out a sigh.
"Hey, Nat? What were you running from?" Barbara asked.
"And what was all that shrieking?" Max added.
Natalia's eyes widened. "We've got to get out of here! There's a monster after me! It brought me out here and now it's gonna be..."
Another ghastly screech.
"What in the world is that?" Sakuya asked.
"What kind of monster is after you?" Rose questioned.
Natalia glanced over to Rin. "It's...it's you, Professor."
"Me...?" Rin pondered.
At that moment, a black entity swooped in and tackled Rin away.
"Professor!" Kibō exclaimed.
"The hell was that?!" Kat questioned.
Rin was carried a good distance away, before being dropped and pinned down by the entity. "Just couldn't stay away, could you? Still as much of a bleeding heart as ever!" Karas exclaimed.
"Just what are you?" Rin asked.
"Come on! Has it really been that long? Don't pretend..." Karas peeled back the shadow from her face, revealing Rin's teenaged visage. "...like you don't know this face!"
"...! Karas?!"
"In the feathers, honeybee."
"Nggh, how...how are you still alive?" Rin tried to break free.
"First trick in Big Bro's book! He popped out of existence, and I popped back in! And I went right back to what I was made to do: feeding off of despair and anguish! Who better to make my dinner than a bunch of sad saps looking to off themselves anyway?"
Rin let out a burst of heat, forcing the beast off of her. She materialized her lance. "Is that what you were going to do to Natalia? Push her to the point where she would want you to kill her?"
"Exactamundo! And you and your troupe just HAD to come and ruin it! I'd never tasted such potent despair before, and with an awakened Shadow to boot! But now that I think about it, I couldn't have asked for a better outcome. You've come right back to me. And I can finish what Big Bro started. Tearing you limb from--"
Before the beast could finish her sentence, numerous ephemeral strings suddenly attached themselves to her, holding her in place. "Grr, what the...oh. I know whose magic trick this is."
Rose appeared, the strings emanating from her fingertips. "So it is you. I see a near-decade of living as a wild animal has done nothing to make you any less hideous."
"Oh me, oh my, but it's a weed in my garden. A damn fine weed, but a weed nonetheless. It's gonna take a hell of a lot more than a few little strings to put me down, sweets." Karas boomed.
"That's what the cavalry's for." a voice proclaimed from above. Kat leapt down and slashed at the demon, leaving pink sparks in its wake. One-by-one, the other students began to strike at the prone Karas, subjecting the creature with a barrage of fire, water and lightning, on top of numerous sword strikes. Karas screeched in agony.
"And now the finishing touch, from a few little strings." Rose quipped, as she sent energy that traveled through the strings, which caused an explosion as soon as it reached Karas. The demon's winged form disintegrated, and her teenage form came flying out of it.
Karas landed at Rin's feet. She lifted her former parasite up by the neck, and pointed her lance right at her. "I just want to know one thing. How many?" Rin demanded.
"How many what?" Karas questioned.
"How many people have you killed?"
"Tch, what difference does it make? They were asking for it anyway..."
Rin brought the lance closer to Karas' neck. "Answer the damn question. How many?"
"Ugh. Fine. I'll answer your question with one of my own. Do you memorize the face of every fish that you eat?" Rin was taken aback by the passive nature of the response. "It'd be a pain in the ass to remember it all, right? And you don't do it because you've chosen to see the fish as food. It's the same with me and people. Fate brought them into my territory, and I did what any starving animal would do. I ate."
"'Starving animal' nothing! You're a cognitive spirit, a demon. What sustenance do you need? All you are is a monster, made to torture the living by dragging them to the pits of despair, before giving them what you call 'mercy'. Just a mindless monster created to be a mindless monster."
"A mindless monster with your face, Apple-chan! It's gonna keep you up at night, huh? Knowing that the last face these poor, sad people saw was your own. So loving, so trusting. I might be Big Bro's creation, but I came out of your soul. Once upon a time, you were drowning in hate. Not so much anymore, and that's the sad thing. It's what Big Bro hated most about you. Always so forgiving, even when someone's done something that destroyed you. Even now. I've killed a ton of people using your face. I nearly took out one of your precious students. If you had any sort of bravado, you would've stuck that poker in me before I even said a word. But you just can't bring yourself to do it, can you? Even knowing that I can easily keep coming back for you. I know where everyone is, Rinnie. Rose, Mama, Tan. Sweet little Shizuka." Rin's eyes widened. "Oh yeah, I know all about her. What would happen if, say, I snuck into your comfy little abode late at night, and the lovebug is fast asleep in her big sis' old room. What could happen then, I wonder..."
"Mouthy bitch--!" Kat exclaimed angrily.
Rin's expression grew darker.
"Wow. Not even that, huh? Just content to leave me here to keep flapping my gums at ya. Grow some backbone, why don't you--"
Karas was stopped from further talking with the sound of something snapping.
Carrie had wrapped her arms around the entity's neck, and squeezed it tight until Karas finally stopped moving.
The Shadow dropped to the ground, and slowly dissolved away.
"....." Carrie remained emotionless.
"Jesus, Care...what did you do?" Max asked.
"I solved the problem. She almost killed Natalia. She was going to kill more people. So I ended it." Carrie plainly replied.
"Still...I know it's different, but watching you break Teach's neck is gonna stick with me for a while." Sahir responded.
"That wasn't the Professor. That wasn't even human. We've eliminated hundreds of Shadows by now. This was no different." Sakuya stated.
"You alright, Professor?" Kibō asked.
".....fine. I'm fine. Sakuya is right. It's just another Shadow. With my face. Nothing more. Let's just get out of this godforsaken forest." Rin replied.
"All of us here need to have a very serious sit-down once we get home. Starting and ending with you, Ms. Van Damme." Rose stated.
"....." Natalia averted her gaze.
"We only want to help you, Nat. Nobody wants this to happen again. Please just let us help you." Barbara said.
Natalia remained silent, looking ashamed.
"We wouldn't have come out here otherwise." Kenneth added.
"Let's not pile on her now. Let's wait until we're out of these horrible woods." Rose said.
Kat pulled Carrie aside. "Hey. You okay?"
"I'm alright now, Kitten. Natalia is safe, and her tormentor is gone. Are you going to chastise me for my method?"
"Hell to the no. If you hadn't done her in, I would've. Nobody threatens my princess and gets to walk away. Not even when she looks like Prof. Your method was way cleaner than mine would've been."
"If you say so. I'm just worried...that we might be getting used to this."
Rose had meanwhile pulled Rin aside. "I know when you're holding something in. Out with it." Rose demanded.
"No. Not here. Not after this. Wait until we're alone." Rin replied.
"Fine by me. I have my ways of getting answers out of you."
The group soon after teleported away.
Deeper inside the forest, the shrine sat in an eerie stillness.
Onto its roof, a single black feather fell. It quickly crumbled apart, disappearing into the cold air.
---
"...Mama?"
Shizuka stirred awake in her bed. Next to her, Rin had laid down. "Oh. Sorry, lovebug. I didn't mean to wake you up. Were you a good girl for Grandma Hana?"
"Uh-huh. Did you find Natty, Mama?"
"We did. She's okay. She's feeling really sad, so everyone's going to try to help her."
Rin put an arm over Shizuka. "What's wrong, Mama?"
"It's nothing. I just...I saw something really scary in the woods. Something I never want to see again. And it said some very awful things. So...I just really wanted to come home and hold you and not let go."
"But I can't go to school or anything if you don't let me go."
Rin giggled. "Kat's starting to rub off on you. Get some shut-eye. I love you so much, Shizuka. I hope you know that."
"I know. I...*yawn*...love you too, Mama..." Shizuka fell back asleep.
"(I'm not gonna let anything happen to you...if something terrible happened to you, because of me...I'd never forgive myself. My lovebug...my daughter...)" Rin thought, as she closed her eyes.
In the living room, a morose-looking Natalia sat on the couch, looking down. Carrie sat next to her, holding her hand. Barbara sat on her other side, rubbing her shoulder. The other students hovered around the room. Nobody said a word.
Rose entered, and took a seat. "I've told your parents everything. Well, everything not involving the sadistic demon chasing you. Your mother is already on her way here."
"Mama's coming here...?" Natalia muttered.
"She sounded rather frantic while I was talking to her. Likely because this isn't the first time this has happened."
"....." Natalia averted her eyes again.
"I'm not trying to sound critical. I'm not going to blame you for what happened this morning. But I know that there's something eating away at you. People have hurt you deeply in the past. But now you only have people around you who want what's best for you. It would be so easy to just say that you have no reason to be sad anymore. But it goes much deeper than that. That's right, isn't it?"
"...everyone I ever met only wanted me to do things for them. They made me feel so awful. Like I didn't deserve to have friends. And every time I thought I could trust someone, they'd stab me in the back, and it would feel so much worse. The only ones who ever told me I wasn't useless were my parents, and they're my parents, so of course they would say that. Then I came here and everyone was nice to me. I really believed it was different. Then I thought the same thing was happening again, and...I couldn't handle it. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and die...because I knew then that I really was unlovable..."
Carrie grasped her hand tighter, and put her head on her shoulder.
"Part of me knows that everyone here really does care about me...but the other part of me keeps telling me that it's all a lie, that I'm stupid and useless and that I should've let the bird monster eat me. I don't know how to make that part shut up. Not even the pills would work. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be sad anymore, but...I can't make it stop. I'm sorry I made you all chase after me...and made you fight that awful thing. I just don't know what to do anymore..."
"Let us help you. You're lucky because you do have people who want to help. We wouldn't have hunted you down so frantically if we didn't. You're our heart and soul, Hoodsie. I'm sorry if I did anything to upset you. I didn't mean to, believe me. I'm not trying to steal Care from you or anything like that. She thinks the world of you. I couldn't break that up if I tried." Kat explained. Carrie nodded in affirmation.
"Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to recommend to Rin that you take the week off from class, to give your mind a rest. We can arrange for someone to take notes so you don't fall too far behind. I know your mother will want to stay for as long as possible until she can be sure that you'll be alright. I want someone to keep you company at all times. I'll be dropping by your room for a therapy session every day after class. I want to get to the heart of what's troubling your mind. And as soon as we're done here, I'll be looking into more efficient antidepressants for you. We're going to help you through this. Is that okay with you?" Rose dictated.
"Yeah. It's more than I could ever ask for. Thanks, Dr. Rose. Really." Natalia replied.
"Before you all leave, there are a couple more tests I want to run. Tohru's original purpose when creating Karas was to have her infect and overtake Rin's soul, letting him resurrect himself through her. I want to make sure there isn't anything amiss with any of you."
"Go ahead. I don't want to be a nest for some creepy bird thing." Max replied.
Once she was satisfied that the students were free of any dark forces, Rose allowed them to head back to the dorms. She sighed. "To think that demon was dwelling in that forest all this time. Even now, that scheming dastard is a curse." She looked into Shizuka's room, seeing Rin asleep next to the girl, and closed the door. "Creating such a horrific monstrosity for the purpose of tormenting his own sister. I'm comfortable with never understanding him. Treating your own flesh and blood in such a manner...it's positively abhorrent."
Rose took a seat. "Flesh and blood..."
"You called?" a woman's voice asked.
Rose looked over to the kitchen and saw a woman standing there. "Mother. What brings you here?"
"I was hoping for an afternoon of tea with my daughter. But it looks like a bad time at the moment."
The woman, wearing white-and-red clothing and sporting long, dark hair, was Rose's mother, Dr. Mikaela Wolfe, also known as Kaya. Originally a cognitive scientist from the previous universe, she had survived the cataclysmic event that destroyed her universe and ushered in the birth and construction of the current one. Once, she had acted under the guise of Amaterasu, goddess of the sun, and in this capacity had served as Rin's benefactor.
"It was a hectic morning, Mother. One of Tohru's leftover projects needed to be dealt with. The beast nearly took one of our students. She survived, but we're taking extreme care to ensure that such a thing never happens again." Rose replied.
"A dramatic morning, indeed. Are Ringo and the little one around, by chance?"
"Rin is taking a nap with Shizuka right now. The encounter rattled her a good deal. I'm letting her rest for the time being."
"The wise decision. If I've learned anything about the poor girl, it's that she takes things extremely personally. Taking time to rest and put things in perspective is ideal. How about you, Rose? Everything going well with your new career path?"
"It's going very well, Mother. I've heard so many breakup stories over the past few weeks that I'm formulating a giant web of student relationships in my mind. Joking aside, helping others is what I was made for. And given how high the enrollment threshold is, there's no shortage of students needing to de-stress. I used to think of my temperament as too robotic, but now I consider it something of a blessing."
"Helping others with their problems is in your blood. Keeping scientists and researchers from buckling under the ultimate pressure situation was a full-time job back in the brain trust. Certainly kept us busy."
"'Us'?"
"Yes. Me and...your father."
"You've never mentioned him before. I know it's been eons, but how much do you remember about him?"
"Everything. That man I could never forget about, even after all this time. One of the few things I preserved from the old world..." Kaya produced a photograph. In the center was Rose as a little girl, wearing a little blue dress. Kneeling at her left was Kaya, garbed in a white suit and skirt. Kneeling at Rose's right was a man, with short white hair, a monocle, a white moustache, blue pants and a blue vest over a white dress shirt. "You can see the family resemblance just from the color of his clothes. Dear old Edelhardt."
"Edelhardt...that was his name. I can't remember anything about him."
"It's to be expected, with how long you were lying in stasis. And you were just a little girl when everything happened. Still, your mannerisms and speech patterns match him to a T. You have so much more in common with him than just your favorite color. People used to compare him to a butler, with how he spoke and acted. Perfect manners, a dry wit, and most importantly, the innate desire to help others. He was quite a few years older than I was, but it didn't matter at all. He was the consummate gentleman. And he loved you with all of his heart."
"I wish that I could remember him."
"Just know that his entire reason for going to the brain trust was for your sake. Once he knew that he was going to be a father, he wanted to help find a way to preserve a future for you. And even though the previous world didn't survive, he would be happy to know that you did."
"I know this is a silly question, but do you wish he was still here?"
"It's complicated. Of course I would love for him to still be here. To see you as you are now. But knowing what a curse immortality is...knowing what it did to Dimitrios and the others...I wouldn't wish such a fate on him. I can live with him being a memory, knowing what the alternative would have been. Harsh as it may sound, sometimes memories are better."
"'Memories are better.' I can't argue with your logic. But it would be nice to know more about him."
"I could fill the hours with stories. Starting with how you even hold your tea cup the same way."
"There really aren't that many ways to hold a tea cup, Mother."
"He would say the same thing. 'There are only two ways to hold your cup. The proper way, and that of the barbarian'."
"That...does sound like something I would say."
"If only Ringo was awake. This could be a prime 'mother tells embarrassing stories' moment."
"A pity that it isn't."