Coach Dich

== General Information ==
Coach Dich is a Spanish-German man who is very proud of his country of residence. He was the coach of Tit Smirnov, and was very abusive. He did not treat the werewolves under his care very well, and was even known to throw objects and likely hit them on occasion. This is apparent in Act 4 Chapter 23, where Tit Smirnov mentions his Coach throwing things at him when he got aspects of German history wrong. Coach Dich is also a fan of exotic werewolf fur coats, despite the dubious morality of this. Coach Dich is very comically German, he puts on a false thick German accent and is often seen talking about Germany. He is a supporter of German independence from Britain, which is a surprisingly rare belief in WYSI. Coach Dich is also cousin of the infamous Sir Topham Hatt III, who acted as a dictator for the island of sodor until his deposition on September 11th, 2023 and execution the following october.
== Background ==
Coach Dich was born in Madrid, Spain on August 18th, 1961. His family then moved to Berlin, Little Berlin, United Kingdom the following year. Coach Dich grew up and graduated from the Humboldt University of Berlin in 1986 with a bachelor's degree in sports medicine. His father was a very important figure in the NHL, and as such Coach Dich was able to become a coach for the London Geoducks with no prior experience in 1991. He remained the team's coach until the Deez Nuts Incident on June 15th, 2015. Following the event, Star Player Dick Tortellini left the team, and prize werewolf Tit Smirnov Disappeared. Saddened that he wouldn't be able to skin the werewolf for his coat when he was older, The coach retired. 
== Death ==
Years later, Dick and Tit would get married and have 6 wolves. Coach Dich began spying on the young couple and their family, looking to eventually skin the wolves for their coats. Eventually, Hannah, the couple's daughter, and the wolves discovered the old german's plot. The wolves cornered him against a cliff, where they knocked him off, finally killing the evil coach.
== Appearance ==
Coach dich is a short and grumpy old man. He is often seen wearing a red, black and gold lederhosen which bears the Bundesadler on it. He also wears a small green lederhosen hat. He has a large, flat mustache which covers his entire top lip and much of his mouth. He also has bushy white eyebrows and grey hair on the sides of his bald head.
== Fun Facts ==
* Coach Dich's origins are completely unknown.
* A reference for Coach Dich allegedly existed at one point, but has since been lost.
* Initially, Coach Dich was german, but the porksodafans thought it would be funnier if he had no actual german heritage and he was faking it.
* He/Him
Category:Background Characters
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