Pizza Time

Pizza Time is the fourth episode of Season One of SpongeBob SquarePants and a Gallon of Milk.
==Transcript==
[Episode begins with an establishing shot of Sandy's treedome. We see Sandy on the phone.]
Sandy: I'll take it to go, thank you very much. (looks at the camera) I am ordering a pizza.
Squidward: (on the other end of the phone) Yuh yuh. One Krusty Krab Pizza fr. To go my foo.
Sandy: Squidward, what the f[dolphin chirp] happened to you? You sound like a complete r[word fandom won't let me say fr]d.
Squidward: New business protocol my homie. That complete gangsta Lil Mr. Krabs said we had to use hip 90s lingo. Appealing to the kids, know what I'm saying? I hate it, diggity dog, but I wanna make a living, homeslizzle. For real.
Sandy: Just get me my pizza.
Squidward: You got it, dawg. Peace out.
[Squidward hangs up.]
Sandy: What an odd fellow.
[Cut to the front door of the treedome, where SpongeBob is cheerfully arriving with the pizza.]
SpongeBob: (knocks on the door) Yoo-hoo!! Delivery!
[Cut back to Sandy.]
Sandy: It's here already? Man, talk about speedy service…
[She looks at her suit, which is on a clothes dryer.]
Sandy: I suppose I should put–
SpongeBob: (from outside) Hello? Anybody home?
Sandy: Agh, there's no time, man! I'll just… uh… put on the helmet. I don't give a sh[POOP!]t.
[Sandy takes the helmet off of her suit and puts it on her head, before going outside.]
SpongeBob: Here ya go, Sandy!
Sandy: Thanks, SpongeBob.
[SpongeBob gives her the pizza.]
SpongeBob: That'll be $9.99, please.
Sandy: Oh, right. You got it.
[Sandy takes out her wallet, but she soon realizes that she is a dollar short.]
Sandy: F[dolphin chirp]ck… I, uh, don't have enough.
SpongeBob: (pause) Y–you don't have enough?
Sandy: Uh… no.
SpongeBob: So you… can't pay?
Sandy: 'Fraid not.
SpongeBob: But… what am I gonna do now? Am I just… supposed to take it back? Throw it in the garbage? I can't just do that! That would be a waste of love and craft!
Sandy: Well, uh…
[She looks at herself before she gets an idea and makes a suggestive pose.]
Sandy: Well… perhaps I can pay with an… alternative method.
SpongeBob: (completely oblivious) An alternative method? What do you mean, "an alternative method"?
Sandy: One that doesn't involve money, if you catch my gist… (wink wink)
SpongeBob: You mean like an IOU or something?
Sandy: Not exactly what I had in mind… (smirk) here, come inside my treedome and I'll show you.
SpongeBob: Um, okay.
[Cut to The Krusty Krab. Squidward is napping at the register until SpongeBob comes in with a peculiar white cream all over his face.]
SpongeBob: Hey Squidward.
Squidward: (waking up) What is it now, Spo– (he notices the white stuff on his face) HOLY MOTHER OF NEPTUNE, SPONGEBOB!! WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR FACE?!
SpongeBob: What do you mean?
Squidward: You've got a white fluid all over your face! Please tell me that's not what I think it is.
[SpongeBob wipes some of the "white stuff" on his face off using his finger.]
SpongeBob: [signature laugh]! Oh, don't worry Squidward. That's just glue.
Squidward: Glue?
SpongeBob: Yeah, glue!
Squidward: Like, glue glue or…
SpongeBob: Well what other type of glue would it be?
Squidward: …nevermind. But, I must ask, how did it get all over your face like that?
SpongeBob: Well, you see, I was delivering some of our pizza to Sandy, but she didn't have enough money to pay for it, so–
Squidward: Oh God… I know where this is heading…
SpongeBob: …huh?
Squidward: (sigh) You and her got naughty in bed, right?
SpongeBob: What? No, Squidward! I don't even know what you mean by that, silly! She offered to help me on my art project!
[He holds up a kindergarten-like art project, in which you can see SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward crudely made out of construction paper with glue and glitter all over the work.]
SpongeBob: See? It's me and my two best friends in the whole blue sea! Patrick, and you, Squidward!
Squidward: Oh.
[Pause. The two begin to laugh out loud.]
Squidward: Oh man! I really thought you guys were doing something else!
SpongeBob: "Getting naughty in bed", that's so silly!
Squidward: Dude I really need to get my mind out of the gutter, huh?
[Mr. Krabs comes out from inside his office.]
Mr. Krabs: Why am I hearing the sound of laughter and not the sound of working?!
SpongeBob: Oh, I was just telling Squidward about why I had glue all over my face!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I see. Happens to me all the time, boyo. Was the corpse pretty, at least?
SpongeBob: What?
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: What?
[Awkward pause.]
Squidward: I– I'm sorry, what do you mean–
Mr. Krabs: Nevermind.
SpongeBob: Yeah, I'm confused too.
Mr. Krabs: Just tell us your story, boy.
SpongeBob: Well, uh, I was delivering our pizza to Sandy, but she couldn't pay, so she helped me out on my art project instead.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I see– wait, WHAT?! SHE COULDN'T PAY?! AND YOU STILL GAVE HER OUR FOOD?!
SpongeBob: Yeah.
[Mr. Krabs is visibly furious.]
Mr. Krabs: I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BOY, AND THEN I'M GONNA HAVE THEM CLOSE TIMES WITH YOUR DEAD BODY!!
SpongeBob: RUH ROH!
[SpongeBob runs away, with Mr. Krabs chasing him. The two dart far away from the Krusty Krab. Squidward chuckles, and after a pause, he quickly looks both ways and picks up the phone.]
Squidward: Uh, hey Sandy… you want more pizza?
[The end.]
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