Knight of the Board Transcript

LADY MALIA: Greetings from Impratoria, where all the Ponies of Equestria have turned out for
 *the* celebrity gala of the year! Look at who's here!
 
{Music}
 
ORIAN: You gonna blast this one like you blasted all these others before?
 
LOLY LIPKIN: I ain't the way I was before.
 
ORION: Columbus understood that the earth wasn't flat like this
 or this or this . Au contraire --
 Columbus knew the earth was round, like this!
WAITER: Care for any dessert, sir?
ORIAN: Oh, this will do for a beginning...
LADY MALIA: You just never know who will turn up at a star-stuffed shin-dig
 like this one!
 
{Blow the Man Down}
{Camera pans to the right revealing a table with Rivera, in the center, Rainbow Dash on the right, and Twilight Sparkle on the left. All three are enjoying Cheese Balls, that is given to them by the Waiter.}
{Especially Rainbow Dash who is chugging them down like as if she was a disposal.}
Rivera: Yup! You never know who'll turn up! Especially when tonight was one of the formal nights in Equestrian History.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow Rivera, you really impressed me, you must have been reading a lot of books back home.
Rivera: Actually I just read the add on the salt and pepper holder. *Points a Hoof at the add.*
{Twilight groans with annoyance as she face hoofs, as Rainbow Dash laughs.}
Rainbow Dash: Don't sweat it Twi, At least he read an add. *Chugs down more Cheese balls*
{Twilight Sparkle, just giggles.}
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah I guess that is true. *Levitates two Cheese Balls and eats one, Only for the Cheeseballs ion the second plate was chugged down by Rainbow Dash.*
Twilight Sparkle: *Angry* Dashie!
Rainbow Dash: Sorry I can't help it, These cheeseballs are delicious! 
Twilight Sparkle: *Smiles* Well I do agree, they are the best.
{Twilight finishes her second Cheeseball, and smiles at Rivera, while levitating her plate.}
Twilight Sparkle: Please Rivera, could you be a dear, and get some more cheese balls?
Rivera: *Dose a small little gag from the Book Oliver Twist* More?!? 
{Rainbow Dash and Twilight both laugh, as Rivera smile.}
Rivera: Say no more, Twi, consider it done. *Leaves the table*
{As Rivera walks over and refills Twilight's plate with more cheeseballs, he bumps into a Stallion who happens to be dressed in Knights armor.}
Sir Viel: Oh, hello.
Rivera: Greetings Horace Rivera! 
{Rivera reaches out his Hoof for a hoof shake, as Sir Viel stars sharking his hoof}
Sir Viel: Pleased to meet you, Rivera. Name's Francis Valieum, but
 everyone calls me 'Sir Viel'.
 {Those Endearing Young Charms}
Rivera: Great cheeseballs, huh, Sir Viel?
PIP: I'll say. Cheeseballs are one of my all-time favourite foods. I
 always seem to meet the most interesting people when I'm around them,
 too. In fact, cheeseballs bring to mind the time I met _Jordan Mar_.
Rivera: You don't say. 
{Rivera attempts to get free of his hoof shake with Sir Viel, but is unable to.}
PIP: Yes, indeed. _Jordan Mar_. Star of the most popular morning game
 show. He's a host, an emcee, _and_ a celebrity, all rolled into one.
 Anyway, eight months ago -- it was Tuesday the seventeenth, I believe
 -- or it _might_ have been the eighteenth...no, no, it was definitely
 the 17th, because it was precisely one week after my aunt Lucretia's
 birthday, which is the tenth. Aunt Lucria's quite a Mare. Loves
 to cook. She prepares a _fabulous_ war shu a. That's a Hapanese duck
 dish. I _love_ Hapanesee food. I once went to a party where they
 served Hapanese food _and_ cheese balls. Now _that_ was a Catch-22
 situation. "Catch-22" was a movie, you know. It was long, _very_
 long. They say the book was better, but it was a novel and I never
 finish reading those things.
{After failing to get free from hoof shaking Sir Viel, Rivera attempts to burn his arm off through Atomic Fire to no avail.}
Rivera: Well, isn't that interesting. *Holds up a Sign saying not*
Sir Viel: Of course, a lot of people don't read much nowadays. They watch
 Magical motion Scrolls. I caught a program on EDN last night. A very good
 {?} show on chimpanzees
Twilight Sparkle: *Twilight Sparkle arrives on scene* Rivera is everything alright? in the media. They
 had a clip of J. Fred
YAKKO: Never mind! There's a person up Muggs, that chimp
from
 here you gotta meet! the TODAY show. But
DOT: Mel Gibson? it was Fred's
chimpanzee
YAKKO: @@@@@h -- close! girlfriend that had
 me stumped. I couldn't
 remember her name, so I
 looked it up. Her name
 was Phoebe B. Beebee.
YAKKO: Dot Warner, this is Francis Pumphandle.
 ...But -- "Everyone calls me Pip." Everyone calls me Pip.
 {Strolling through the Park One Day} Anyway, as I was saying,
 eight months ago, Tuesday
 the seventeenth, I went
DOT: I'm going to hurt my brother badly. downtown on a nice,
 relaxing stroll. I love
 to relax. In fact, relaxing is a pastime of mine. Some people play
 golf. Others like tennis, horseshoes, bridge, canasta, and other
 such _fancy_ hobbies.
DOT: Wakko Warner, meet Pip. Bye.
PIP: Charmed to meetcha. Now, another hobby enjoyed by many is
 knitting. My grandmother was a great knitter. Knitted this sweater
 I'm wearing. It's red, which is _not_ my favorite color. I prefer
 mauve or mustard yellow. Now, don't get me wrong: red is okay for
 ties and suspenders, but with sweaters I prefer more neutral colors.