Editing 4

== Chapter 19 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
sense to sick one of the little 	sense to sic one of the little 	 	
a thumbed nose to their oily haired professor 	a thumbed nose to their oily-haired professor 	 	
for imperfectly sliced ingredients 	for imperfectly-sliced ingredients 	 	
o push back the time for meeting up in person a few weeks 	o push back the time for meeting up in person by a few weeks	 	
Eleven year old Harry Potter sat cross legged 	Eleven-year-old Harry Potter sat cross-legged 	 	
also stood, wand trained on the elf 	also stood, wands trained on the elf 	 	
"Are any other elves tasked such? 	"Are any other elves tasked as such? 	 	
shelf with his non wand holding fingers. 	shelf with his non-wand-holding fingers. 	 	
about what is in the third floor corridor 	about what is in the third-floor corridor 	 	
in the sixth draw down on the right. 	in the sixth drawer down on the right. 	 	
with a half dozen small ward stones 	with a half-dozen small ward stones 	 	
Hermione lips formed an o. 	Hermione lips formed an O. 	 	
Might give for some interesting 	(Might make for) or (Might give some) 	 	
tunnels under the sea bed that 	tunnels under the seabed that 	 	
third stone and picked up the forth. 	third stone and picked up the fourth. 	 	
The under water thing I mean. 	The underwater thing I mean. 	 	
He looked at her with deadpanned eyes. 	He looked at her with deadpan eyes. 	 	
Her mouth dropped. 	Her jaw dropped. 	 	
the value of one years worth 	the value of one year's worth 	Possible second way:
less than one year's worth of labour now	
watching his every moment 	watching his every movement 	 	
we haven't gone though any 	we haven't gone through any 	 	
Hermione voice washed over him 	Hermione's voice washed over him 	 	
do a quick test, Okay?" 	do a quick test, okay?" 	 	
Daphne's eye-brows raised. 	Daphne's eyebrows raised. 	 	
"So, what are we going to do?" Can we do anything more from here?"	Surplus punctuation after ‘do?’ 	 	
a florescent pick affair 	a fluorescent pink affair 	two mistakes 	
the cold blooded calculus 	the cold-blooded calculus 	 	
He could think of few people 	He could think of a few people 	 	
and ruled out each one of the them. 	and ruled out each one of them. 	 	
massively over reading this 	massively over-reading this 	 	
man, still in full wizards robes 	man, still in full wizard's robes 	or wizard robes 	
our so called golden year 	our so-called golden year 	 	
so far beyond their class mates as 	so far beyond their classmates as 	 	
reminded her of her parent's practise 	reminded her of her parents' practice 	two mistakes 	
looked like a seventh year Hufflepuff 	looked like a seventh-year Hufflepuff 	 	
She pulled a pot plant 	She pulled a potted plant 	 	
as her breakfast threaten 	as her breakfast threatened 	 	
She felt slightly light headed. 	She felt slightly lightheaded. 	 	
still littered the desk top 	still littered the desktop 	 	
three hundred year old charms text book 	three hundred years old charms textbook 	two mistakes 	
Trippy the drugged again 	Trippy the drugged-again 	 	
here was nothing of help to them 	here was nothing of use to help them 	 	
The corner's of Harry lips 	The corners of Harry lips 	 	
less tired after getting off the Hogwarts express 	less tired after getting off the Hogwarts Express 	 	
broke into a full on ear to ear grin 	broke into a full-on ear-to-ear grin 	two mistakes 	
fine layer of foul smelling dampness. 	fine layer of foul-smelling dampness. 	 	
about what is in the third floor corridor?" 	what is in the third-floor corridor?" 	 	
Do you know what is in the third floor corridor?" 	what is in the third-floor corridor?" 	 	
we're breaking into the third floor 	we're breaking into the third-floor 	 	
ward tunnels under the sea bed 	ward tunnels under the seabed 	 	
we haven't gone though any 	we haven't gone through any 	 	
and shadow though the many shelves 	and shadow through the many shelves 	 	
sure they were in the third floor corridor. 	sure they were in the third-floor corridor. 	 	
Its in all our interests 	It's in all our interests 	 	
part time, over five years 	part-time, over five years 	 	
it to an ever growing pile 	it to an ever-growing pile 	 	
interesting titbit on the 	interesting tidbit on the 	 	
quick search through 	quick-search through 	 	
"—you it would work!" 	 	not sure :D 	
Hermione eyes shone. 	Hermione's eyes shone. 	 	
Hermione lips formed 	Hermione's lips formed 	 	
than one years worth 	than one year's worth 	 	
Hermione voice washed 	Hermione's voice washed 	 	
The corner's of Harry lips twitched 	The corner's of Harry's lips twitched 	 	
Not included myself, 	Not including myself, 	both work 	
nd Granger were the future 	nd Granger was the future 	 	
Instead she'd been 	Instead, she'd been 	comma 	
Eventually she spoke in a small quiet 	Eventually, she spoke in a small quiet 	comma 	
For starters he possesses 	For starters, he possesses 	comma 	
was disconcerting to say the least. 	was disconcerting, to say the least. 	comma 	
the not-really-boy-who-lived 	the not really boy-who-lived 	Remove two hyphens 	
their special brand of Harry occlumency 	their special brand of Harry-occlumency 	Hyphen, or alternatively "Harry's occlumency"	
all this hiding from each other business 	all this hiding-from-each-other business 	Three hyphens 	
two shocked looking Gryffindors 	two shocked-looking Gryffindors 	Hyphen 	
between your dunderhead ears!" 	between your dunderhead ears?" 	Change to question mark? Not sure 	
in a bone crushing hug 	in a bone-crushing hug 	Hyphen 	
finger tips glowing red 	fingertips glowing red 	Should be one word 	
An actual Merlin damned chimaera 	An actual Merlin-damned chimaera 	Hyphen 	
warm and dry in Summer 	warm and dry in summer 	Lowercase 	
I…I mean… Harry, how much 	I… I mean… Harry, how much 	Space 	
Harry put down the forth stone 	Harry put down the fourth stone 	Typo 	
land we eventually choose 	land we eventually choose" 	Add closing quote 	
He held the now adjusted 	He held the now-adjusted 	Hyphen 	
and muttered, imperio. 	and muttered, "imperio." 	Should be in quotes 	
through ten pairs of eyes 	through ten eyes 	10 pairs = 20 	
control ten sets of legs 	control ten legs 	10 sets = 20 	
What happened? Are you Okay? 	What happened? Are you okay? 	Lowercase 	
you were offering to help? 	you were offering to help?" 	Add closing quote 	
Headmaster…that I will not be participating 	Headmaster… that I will not be participating 	Space 	
clearly fourth year level 	clearly fourth-year level 	Hyphen 	
couldn't get line of sight 	couldn't get a line of sight 	Alternatively, hyphenate "line-of-sight" 	
to actually do the practise 	to actually do the practice 	Noun form 	
let out a long held breath 	let out a long-held breath 	Hyphen 	
a three hundred year old charms text book 	a three-hundred-year-old charms textbook 	Three hyphens, and "textbook" is one word 	
his load of restricted section books 	his load of restricted-section books 	Hyphen 	
The Headmaster probably has the stone 	The headmaster probably has the stone 	Lowercase 	
Anyone who knows the Headmaster well 	Anyone who knows the headmaster well 	Lowercase 	
before their third year. 	before their third year." 	Add closing quote 	
along the now unblocked tunnel 	along the now-unblocked tunnel 	Hyphen 	
took out the now stunned mouse 	took out the now-stunned mouse 	Hyphen 	
more than just the Greengrass Heiress 	more than just the Greengrass heiress 	Lowercase 	
snake carving. "$Open$." 	snake carving. "§Open§." 	 	
He whirled around. "$Open$." 	He whirled around. "§Open§." 	 	
 	 	 	
== Chapter 20 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
CONTINUITY ERROR 	He peeked into the sixth room to spy a three metre tall bronze statue of Severus Snape
CHAPTER 30 IT SAYS
while also gazing up at the massive stone statue of Severus Snape with her normal eyes	 	
Klap, klep, klap 	 	When troll is walking, check all instances 	
top of defence against the dark arts. 	top of Defence Against the Dark Arts. 	 	
theatre started at Her and Harry 	theatre starred at her and Harry 	 	
spells can up to twice 	spells can be up to twice 	 	
of the international statute of secrecy 	of the International Statute of Secrecy 	 	
the auror's wings 	the aurors' wings 	 	
Harry looked incredulous over his book 	Harry looked incredulously over his book 	 	
stared at Her and Harry 	stared at her and Harry 	 	
the Potter's deathly hallow 	the Potter's Deathly Hallow 	 	
The other puffs gave 	The other Puffs gave 	 	
time to practise spells." 	time to practice spells." 	 	
a lot worse then that." 	a lot worse than that." 	 	
"I'm a muggleborn too so I understand 	"I'm a muggleborn, too, so I understand 	 	
"Well that right sucks." 	"Well, that right sucks." 	comma 	
of something, "that advantage 	of something. "That advantage 	 	
obliviation detection device? 	A remembrall? 	potential plothole. Could have used 
on Clare a bit later 	
There was a loud *Crack!*, 	There was a loud crack!, 	maybe simply cursive? 	
"You come with me now!" 	"You come with me, now!" 	comma 	
"So," Susan began, "What was that?" 	"So," Susan began. "What was that?" 	dot 	
"Voldemort isn't god you know,  	"Voldemort isn't a god you know,  	 	
because of it." Put two aurors 	because of it. Put two aurors 	take quote mark out 	
an interest in Horcruxes that he 	an interest in horcruxes that he 	lower case 	
pushed her magic through her mind scape 	pushed her magic through her mindscape 	 	
in healing, Dear?" 	in healing, dear?" 	 	
to measure their magical exhaustion, 
the last, black, one.	I know you want to make it look like Hermione 
slows down in thinking. Maybe dots instead?	 	
I read that the definition of a charm was 
a spell that applies a temporary or 
permanent change to an object 	Potential plothole? Only Alchemy is permanent? 	 	
of the international statute of secrecy. 	of the International Statute of Secrecy. 	 	
and rightly so!" 	and rightfully so!" 	suggestion, not a mistake 	
of the class filed into the  	of the class filled into the  	not sure, check please 	
Daphne turned to see Malfoy start in his chair. 	Daphne turned to see Malfoy startle in his chair. 	really not sure. 	
whatever was going to happen, inevitably happened.	is that correct English? 	 	
and two years of will sucking hell. 	and two years of will-sucking hell. 	 	
*klap* *klap* 	*Klap* *Klap* 	<< maybe cursive? 	
*Klap* *Klap* *Klap* *Klep* 	also cursive? 	 	
A half dozen spells hid his other tells 	A half-dozen spells hid his other tells 	 	
He could but hope. 	He could only but hope. 	 	
and roast vegetables 	and roasted vegetables 	not sure 	
his chin, "There is the cohesion 	his chin, "there is the cohesion 	 	
Daphne moved her food about on her plate. 	Daphne moved her food around on her plate. 	 	
leading half the first year  	leading half the first-year  	 	
"Sophie doesn't know about the Troll  	"Sophie doesn't know about the troll  	 	
He pressed himself to the wall, still as he could.	word missing? as still as? stayed as still as? 	 	
on his lightening bolt ring. 	on his lightning bolt ring. 	no "e" 	
For FUCKS SAKE!" 	FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" 	two mistakes 	
The troll grabbed Lisa leg 	The troll grabbed Lisa's leg 	 	
ground with a loud whumf. 	ground with a loud oomph. 	 	
*Smack!* 	<< cursive? 	 	
Padma finished shuffling out of grab range. 	Padma finished shuffling out of grabbing range. 	not sure 	
thudded into the trolls face 	thudded into the troll's face 	 	
Merlin, Damn it! 	Merlin, damn it! 	 	
over where she half lay on the floor 	over where she half laid on the floor 	 	
tree-trunk thick  	tree-trunk-thick  	 	
emains of the troll's brains 	emains of the troll's brain 	no "s" 	
Suits of armour lay in heaps of scrap 	Suits of armour laid in heaps of scrap 	 	
the tails of a cat a fox and a snake 	the tails of a cat, a fox and a snake 	 	
It's skin looked like stone 	Its skin looked like stone 	 	
The damn snake isn't here just now 	The damn snake isn't here right now 	 	
and pocked them just as 	and pocketed them just as 	 	
followed a split second later 	followed a split-second later 	 	
gives you a near perfect memory 	gives you a near-perfect memory 	 	
grounded and air born 	grounded and air-born 	 	
into each others faces 	into each other's faces 	 	
Harry stared back, stony faced. 	Harry stared back, stony-faced. 	 	
The cost is two fold. 	The cost is two-fold. 	 	
girl's second floor bathroom 	girl's second-floor bathroom 	 	
through her mind scape 	through her mindscape 	 	
and dragon heart string. 	and dragon heartstring. 	 	
and fast acting causes of death 	and fast-acting causes of death 	 	
one-hundred life savers. 	one-hundred lifesavers. 	 	
to the top left hand corner. 	to the top left-hand corner. 	 	
Reduced to fortune telling 	Reduced to fortune-telling 	 	
to the wide open area 	to the wide-open area 	 	
Hopefully she could get some food 	Hopefully, she could get some food 	 	
waiting for telltale thump thump 	waiting for telltale thump-thump 	 	
of the third floor corridor, 	of the third-floor corridor, 	 	
In the distant he could hear 	In the distance, he could hear 	comma AND word 	
but of course Harry wasn't there 	but of course, Harry wasn't there 	 	
at the third floor corridor 	at the third-floor corridor 	 	
The first floor bathroom? 	The first-floor bathroom? 	 	
"Third floor bathroom! 	"Third-floor bathroom! 	 	
day you met a real life story book 	day you met a real life storybook 	 	
down the seventh floor corridor 	down the seventh-floor corridor 	 	
"Third floor bathroom." 	"Third-floor bathroom." 	 	
back the way he'd came 	back the way he'd come 	 	
A groan caught all their attentions. 	A groan caught all their attention. 	no s? unsure 	
jumped onto a slow moving target 	jumped onto a slow-moving target 	 	
curse at pointblank range." 	curse at point-blank range." 	 	
a door lay half way 	a door lay halfway 	 	
appeared from no where. 	appeared from nowhere. 	 	
Hopefully Harry would be okay. 	Hopefully, Harry would be okay. 	 	
Rune stones lay smashed on 	Rune stones laid smashed on 	 	
bar a complicated looking set 	bar a complicated-looking set 	 	
The forth room was 	The fourth room was 	 	
Sunday at 7:00pm 	Sunday at 7:00 pm 	add space 	
to spy a three metre 	to spy a three-metre 	 	
Good Morning, Kevin 	Good morning, Kevin 	Lowercase 	
there's this thing called Occlumency 	there's this thing called occlumency 	Lowercase 	
You know this Occ-lu-mency 	You know this occ-lu-mency 	Lowercase 	
might know it, but I'm not sure. 	might know it, but I'm not sure." 	Add closing quote 	
straight between the two Heiresses 	straight between the two heiresses 	Lowercase 	
you both have unicorn hair wands 	you both have unicorn-hair wands 	Hyphen 	
both grounded and air born students 	both grounded and airborne students 	Typo 	
the first cost? …what's the second? 	the first cost? …What's the second? 	Capitalize 	
the life of the one true love 	the life of the one's true love 	Not sure 	
is to keep. them. alive. 	is to keep. Them. Alive. 	Capitalize 	
between the light and the dark 	between the Light and the Dark 	Capitalize 	
I…I am aware 	I… I am aware 	Space 	
waiting for telltale thump thump 	waiting for the telltale thump-thump 	Missing word and hyphen 	
Potter got a nimbus 2000 	Potter got a Nimbus 2000 	Capitalize 	
"Old news! 	"Old news!" 	Add closing quote 	
a throw-yourself-at-Harry-competition 	a throw-yourself-at-Harry competition 	Remove last hyphen 	
how far his pray had gotten 	how far his prey had gotten 	Typo 	
on his lightening bolt ring 	on his lightning-bolt ring 	Typo and hyphen 	
a real life story book hero 	a real-life storybook hero 	Hyphen, and "storybook" should be one word 	
For FUCKS SAKE! 	For FUCK'S SAKE! 	Apostrophe 	
in between the trolls legs 	in between the troll's legs 	Apostrophe 	
pain shot across the Troll's face 	pain shot across the troll's face 	Lowercase 	
ripping pipe sized holes 	ripping pipe-sized holes 	Hyphen 	
rock froze in mid-air 	rock froze in midair 	Should be one word 	
Hermione and a still dazed Daphne 	Hermione and a still-dazed Daphne 	Hyphen 	
Here comes the-boy-who-lived 	Here comes the boy-who-lived 	Remove first hyphen 	
only the out of bounds corridor 	only the out-of-bounds corridor 	Two hyphens 	
corner to the out of bounds corridor 	corner to the out-of-bounds corridor 	Two hyphens 	
It's a Basilisk! A Merlin damned Basilisk! 	It's a basilisk! A Merlin-damned basilisk! 	Hyphen and lowercase 	
room behind them. And here? 	room behind them. "And here?" 	Add quotes 	
a three metre tall bronze statue 	a three-metre-tall bronze statue 	Two hyphens 	
about being upperclass 	about being upper class 	Should be two words 	
Not you, Boy-Who-Lived 	Not you, boy-who-lived 	Lowercase 	
the almost total submission 	the almost-total submission 	Hyphen 	
a half score hundred feet 	a half-score hundred feet 	Hyphen 	
The Bones Heiress inspected 	The Bones heiress inspected 	Lowercase 	
the Greengrass Heiress would certainly 	the Greengrass heiress would certainly 	Lowercase 	
Trolls and Dark Lords be damned 	Trolls and dark lords be damned 	Lowercase 	
"Meaning he wouldn't use muggle weaponry 	"Meaning, he wouldn't use muggle weaponry 	 	
Her lip trembled 	Her lips trembled 	not sure 	
"I… I see now why the unbreakable vows." 	"I… I see now why the unbreakable vow." 	shouldn't it be singular? 	
The older Healer handed  	The older healer handed  	 	
the spell Healer Pomfrey 	the spell healer Pomfrey 	 	
international statute of secrecy." 	International Statute of Secrecy." 	 	
"Healing was allowed to keep 	 	Is healing the correct word? 	
Nothing Healer Pomfrey. 	Nothing healer Pomfrey. 	 	
into the defence against the dark arts 	into the Defence Against the Dark Arts 	 	
always did in defence 	always did in Defence 	 	
serve a most ancient and noble line 	serve a Most Ancient and Noble line 	 	
I…I am aware. 	I… I am aware. 	added a space after ellipses 	
rose in her chair 	rose of her chair 	not sure 	
A series of coloured numbers 	A sequence of coloured numbers 	series was used right before 	
way the bathroom is could you?" 	way the bathroom is, could you?" 	 	
hid his other tells 	is that correct? the word tells? 	 	
got a nimbus 2000. 	got a Nimbus 2000. 	you say Ferrari 488 or Opel Fiesta. 
Brand names are often times capitalized	
"Yes." Replied Daphne. 	"Yes," replied Daphne. 	 	
"—Sophie's not back!" 	"—Sophie is not back!" 	I believe that in such a situation people
would not shorten it? To empathise the 
seriousness?	
of a half score hundred feet far earlier 	is that correct? Couldn't find online refererences 	 	
and a head as large as he stood tall paused  	and a head, as large as he stood tall, paused  	 	
sound of phoenix song. 	sound of a phoenix song. 	 	
if only to ask him directions 	if only to ask him for directions 	 	
Daphne shoved by her. 	shoved the correct word? 	 	
Daphne ducked it and 	Daphne ducked and 	not sure if the it is necessary
referring to the stone thrown earlier 	
The troll grabbed the damaged floor 	is grabbed the correct word here? 	 	
shooting spells and dragging each other with them 	shooting spells and helping each other to move further away	the "with them" could refer to the shooting spells 	
$RIP$ $TEAR$ $KILL$ 	§RIP§ §TEAR§ §KILL§ 	 	
$KILL HUGE BEASITE$ $RIIPPPP$ 	§KILL HUGE BEASITE§ §RIIPPPP§ 	 	
KILL HUGE BEASITE 	KILL HUGE BEASTIE 	 	
comes the-boy-who-lived 	comes the boy-who-lived 	there are two mentions, in case you
missed the first one 	
her crying fellow muggleborn 	her crying fellow housemate/yearmate 	muggerborn is wrong because it insinuates that Padme is also a muggleborn	
Great chunks of wall 	Great chunks of the wall 	 	
Rubble lay everywhere 	Rubble laid everywhere 	 	
remains of a door lay half way 	remains of a door laid half way 	maybe a different word, due 
two used laids back to back 	
Hermione pouted. "And you?" 	is pouting at this moment the correct word?
it's a Basilisk, not a small dog she might miss	 	
what all this is all for, 	what all this is for, 	 	
We could enervate him 	We could reenervate him 	enervate means weaken. 	
And why would anyone go to the trouble? 	And why would anyone go through the trouble? 	 	
== Chapter 21 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
the looks many of the House had been 	the looks many of the house had been 	 	
It's not even 'eclektic.'" 	It's not even 'eclektic'." 	single quote inside dot because British English 	
that effect — The fidelius charm 	that effect — the fidelius charm 	Lowercase 	
he could once again, remember where it was 	he could once again remember where it was 	Remove comma (alternatively, "he could, once again, rememeber") 	
looked into Daphne's ice blue eyes 	looked into Daphne's ice-blue eyes 	Hyphen 	
eyes."—more likely, some annoying 	eyes—"more likely, some annoying 	Move em-dash and remove period 	
a Parselmouth only secret passageway 	a parselmouth-only secret passageway 	Hyphen and lowercase 	
after breakfast — And after taking 	after breakfast — and after taking 	Lowercase 	
the necessary anti surveillance precautions 	the necessary anti-surveillance precautions 	Hyphen 	
Yes, These arrived this morning 	Yes, these arrived this morning 	Lowercase 	
pass the enclosed letter onto your Lord 	pass the enclosed letter on to your Lord 	Should be two words 	
Slytherin House, Severus Snape was attacked 	Slytherin House, Severus Snape, was attacked 	Comma 	
and twelve year old girls 	and twelve-year-old girls 	Two hyphens 	
toe to toe with a full grown mountain troll 	toe-to-toe with a full-grown mountain troll 	Three hyphens 	
jumping into a trolls grabbing range 	jumping into a troll's grabbing range 	Apostrophe 	
several upper year prefects 	several upper-year prefects 	Hyphen 	
two of our sixth year prefects 	two of our sixth-year prefects 	Hyphen 	
That is not what Alchemy does 	That is not what alchemy does 	Lowercase 	
two similar reddish looking rocks 	two similar reddish-looking rocks 	Hyphen 	
The model airplane turned back 	The model aeroplane turned back 	British spelling 	
another, smaller model airplane 	another, smaller model aeroplane 	British spelling 	
still red hot, sat on the desk 	still red-hot, sat on the desk 	Hyphen 	
create new things it merely works 	create new things, it merely works 	Comma 	
a very well reasoned answer 	a very well-reasoned answer 	Hyphen 	
The Headmaster had then almost nabbed 	The headmaster had then almost nabbed 	Lowercase 	
This was in-part hampered by 	This was in part hampered by 	Remove hyphen 	
front page troll slaying antics 	front page troll-slaying antics 	Hyphen 	
on a shoulder height shelf 	on a shoulder-height shelf 	Hyphen 	
a rickety looking wooden stool 	a rickety-looking wooden stool 	Hyphen 	
at the bench, "We've been working 	at the bench. "We've been working 	Change to period (alternatively, make "we've" lowercase) 	
two of us fun loving jokesters 	two of us fun-loving jokesters 	Hyphen 	
actually mass producing stuff 	actually mass-producing stuff 	Hyphen 	
selling stuff to big name people 	selling stuff to big-name people 	Hyphen 	
The twin's faces fell 	The twins' faces fell 	Move apostrophe 	
fourteen knuts an hour. 	fourteen knuts an hour." 	Add closing quote 	
all filling out of classrooms 	all filing out of classrooms 	Typo? 	
In an out of the way corridor 	In an out-of-the-way corridor 	Three hyphens 	
making no move the defend himself 	making no move to defend himself 	Typo 	
a half dozen metres away 	a half-dozen metres away 	Hyphen 	
a second year shield charm 	a second-year shield charm 	Hyphen 	
to teach everyone together. 	to teach everyone together." 	Add closing quote 	
to his fidelius charmed area 	to his fidelius-charmed area 	Hyphen 	
the browny-blond haired muggleborn 	the browny-blond-haired muggleborn. 	Add period and hyphen 	
arrived at the fifth floor corridor 	arrived at the fifth-floor corridor 	Hyphen 	
Good day there, Young Miss 	Good day there, young miss 	Lowercase 	
the self proclaimed old wizard 	the self-proclaimed old wizard 	Hyphen 	
her own traditional styled robes 	her own traditional-styled robes 	Hyphen 	
The dark skinned boy chewed 	The dark-skinned boy chewed 	Hyphen 	
Lily Moon, on one side 	Lily Moon on one side 	Remove comma 	
looking up to way-in 	looking up to weigh in 	Typo 	
from school work to holidays 	from schoolwork to holidays 	Should be one word 	
mostly about the puff with her 	mostly about the Puff with her 	Capitalize 	
gotta help the puffs out 	gotta help the Puffs out 	Capitalize 	
the ever changing and volatile 	the ever-changing and volatile 	Hyphen 	
first event of the triwizard tournament 	first event of the tri-wizard tournament 	Hyphen 	
other team's second year duellist 	other team's second-year duellist 	Hyphen 	
seventh and sixth year slots 	seventh- and sixth-year slots 	Hyphens 	
Volf's eye's became hard 	Volf's eyes became hard 	Remove apostrophe 	
Feeling confident, Mudblood? 	Feeling confident, mudblood? 	Lowercase 	
look into the boys eyes 	look into the boy's eyes 	Apostrophe 	
Less than a half dozen spell chains 	Less than a half-dozen spell chains 	Hyphen 	
defeated in a drawn out struggle 	defeated in a drawn-out struggle 	Hyphen 	
toe to toe with a full adult wizard 	toe-to-toe with a full adult wizard 	Two hyphens 	
She barely succeed in not smirking 	She barely succeeded in not smirking 	Typo 	
an almost identical set-up 	an almost-identical setup 	Add hyphen, and "setup" is one word 	
a dazed and white faced Volf 	a dazed and white-faced Volf 	Hyphen 	
the case of a fourth year witch 	the case of a fourth-year witch 	Hyphen 	
Does it look like I'm… Bullshitting 	Does it look like I'm… bullshitting 	Lowercase 	
One mean looking third year 	One mean-looking third year 	Hyphen 	
take on a far less than innocent meaning 	take on a far-less-than-innocent meaning 	Three hyphens 	
Harry wore iron tipped boots 	Harry wore iron-tipped boots 	Hyphen 	
focusing with patronus like intensity 	focusing with patronus-like intensity 	Hyphen 	
a Wizengamot approved alteration 	a Wizengamot-approved alteration 	Hyphen 	
Why, Oh, Why did Harry have to say 	Why, oh, why did Harry have to say 	Lowercase 	
the beautiful fifteen inch wand 	the beautiful fifteen-inch wand 	Hyphen 	
heralded as Heroines and Troll Slayers 	heralded as heroines and troll slayers 	Lowercase 	
damsel-in-distress-Hermione 	damsel-in-distress Hermione 	Remove hyphen 	
A quick expedition though the pipes 	A quick expedition through the pipes 	Typo 	
its just another form of money 	it's just another form of money 	Apostrophe 	
the boys first-years dormitory 	the first-year boys' dormitory 	Apostrophe, remove "s" from years, and swap "first-year" and "boys'"	
In three years time 	In three years' time 	Apostrophe 	
turned back to arena 	turned back to the arena 	Missing word 	
Harry however, didn't retreat 	Harry, however, didn't retreat 	Comma 	
instead death for failure 	instead of death for failure 	Missing word 	
she rose from her arm chair 	she rose from her armchair 	Should be one word 	
dusting on the Heiress's cheeks 	dusting on the heiress's cheeks 	Lowercase 	
and duelling practise 	and duelling practice 	Noun form 	
And for the chamber 	And for the Chamber 	Capitalize 	
The three first-years had ducked 	The three first years had ducked 	Remove hyphen 	
the Greengrass Heiress 	the Greengrass heiress 	Lowercase 	
trained on the Malfoy Heir 	trained on the Malfoy heir 	Lowercase 	
pointing at the Malfoy Heir 	pointing at the Malfoy heir 	Lowercase 	
allow another Dark Lord to rise 	allow another dark lord to rise 	Lowercase 	
glanced down at the marauder's map 	glanced down at the Marauder's Map 	Capitalize 	
spray can of drought of living death 	spray can of draught of living death 	Typo 	
Anything else interesting turn up 	Anything else interesting turned up 	past tense 	
from the Dungeons 	from the dungeons 	lower case? 	
Opinion was 	Opinions were 	two things 	
under the other troll's arm swing 	one might think two trolls? 	 	
like a fine silver dust  	like a fine silver dust,  	comma 	
his more unexpected and opportunist projects.	his more unexpected and opportunistic projects.	not sure 	
He patted a wooden wall 	He patted the wooden wall 	 	
basic raw material 	basic raw materials 	 	
does takes serious 	does take serious 	 	
get up to ten metres distance 	get up to ten metres of distance 
/
get a distance of up to ten metres	two solutions 	
Certainly as much more 	Certainly as much or more
/
Certainly as much more	two solutions 	
to be on free period 	to be on a free period, 	two things, not sure about comma. sentence structure is weird 	
though its just  	though it's just  	 	
time leftover 	time left over 	two words 	
all the other's to 	all the others to 	 	
to the boys first-years 	to the boys' first-years 	not sure 	
to look into the boys eyes 	to look into the boy's eyes 	 	
cast at full power for 	cast at full power for 	 	
and I don't not 	and I do not not 	might read better written out 	
continued for what seemed an age 	continued for what seemed ages 	 	
looked to her 	looked at her 	 	
 	 	 	
 	 	 	
== Chapter 22 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Half the students in Britain and Ireland went to Hogwarts. The other half were split evenly among the box, the windmill, and the shoe.	Plothole 	 	
He wan't hungry though 	He wasn't hungry though 	 	
Why oh why 	Why, oh why 	comma 	
the smile of kneazle 	the smile of a kneazle 	 	
the baron as head 	the baron as Head 	 	
It was both intoxicating 	it was both intoxicating 	lowercase 	
Grand Warlock 	Chief Warlock 	not sure, maybe historical reasons?	
the gaze of death himself 	the gaze of Death himself 	Capitalize 	
along a country lain 	along a country lane 	Typo? 	
His apparition like movements 	His apparition-like movements 	Hyphen 	
His night-time schedule was usually 	His nighttime schedule was usually 	Should be one word 	
Find a way to re-bind me 	Find a way to rebind me 	Should be one word 	
photos in the daily prophet 	photos in the Daily Prophet 	Capitalize 	
between Miss Greengrass and Granger 	between Miss Greengrass and Miss Granger 	Missing word 	
like a torn up newspaper 	like a torn-up newspaper 	Hyphen 	
Not even a first year Tom 	Not even a first-year Tom 	Hyphen 	
a victory none-the-less 	a victory nonetheless 	Should be one word 	
less leaky than the leaky cauldron 	less leaky than the Leaky Cauldron 	Capitalize 	
"After-all," Malfoy continued 	"After all," Malfoy continued 	Remove hyphen 	
trademark emerald green and black mask 	trademark emerald-green and black mask 	Hyphen 	
looked like a brand new toy 	looked like a brand-new toy 	Hyphen 	
I did something right! Hah! 	I did something right! Hah!" 	Add closing quote 	
around the Hogwarts quidditch pitch." 	around the Hogwarts quidditch pitch. 	Remove extraneous quote 	
The now the Gryffindors! 	And now the Gryffindors! 	Typo 	
the regulation three second carry time 	the regulation three-second carry time 	Hyphen 	
a matter of time before…" 	a matter of time before… 	Remove extraneous quote 	
along side her fellow healer 	alongside her fellow healer 	Sould be one word 	
our standard bone mending spells 	our standard bone-mending spells 	Hyphen 	
the half opened jar of healing herbs 	the half-opened jar of healing herbs 	Hyphen 	
to another student "Any preparations 	to another student. "Any preparations 	Missing period 	
The spell is 'ossa peribunt', It will not work 	The spell is 'ossa peribunt'. It will not work	Change to period 	
The blood soaked ghost nodded 	The blood-soaked ghost nodded 	Hyphen 	
his peer enforced pariahhood 	his peer-enforced pariahhood 	Hyphen 	
a semi-circle facing the wall 	a semicircle facing the wall 	Should be one word 	
the semi-circle of chairs 	the semicircle of chairs 	Should be one word 	
towards the silk covered object 	towards the silk-covered object 	Hyphen 	
The semi-circle nodded 	The semicircle nodded 	Should be one word 	
indicated the silk covered object 	indicated the silk-covered object 	Hyphen 	
The surrounded muggleborns's eyes 	The surrounded muggleborns' eyes 	Optional 	
oozing quiet nobility. "Yes, Dear. 	oozing quiet nobility. "Yes, dear. 	Lowercase 	
his many times great grandfather 	his many-times-great-grandfather 	Three hyphens 	
I was lead to believe that 	I was led to believe that 	Typo 	
an ornate looking piece of parchment 	an ornate-looking piece of parchment 	Hyphen 	
covered in silver like markings 	covered in silver-like markings 	Hyphen 	
your own, as yet unborn children 	your own, as-yet-unborn children 	Two hyphens 	
Sophie asked in a quite voice 	Sophie asked in a quiet voice 	Typo 	
the layout of the common-room 	the layout of the common room 	Remove hyphen 	
the long term advantages of the Baron 	the long-term advantages of the Baron 	Hyphen 	
The ghosts council is separate 	The ghosts' council is separate 	Apostrophe 	
expanded into its full sized version 	expanded into its full-sized version 	Hyphen 	
climbed in eliciting yet more gasps 	climbed in, eliciting yet more gasps 	Comma 	
like water on a fast moving car 	like water on a fast-moving car 	Hyphen 	
It seemed to go on for ever 	It seemed to go on forever 	Should be one word 	
"Of course, not. This is just a memory." 	"Of course not. This is just a memory." 	Remove comma 	
wizards who attending this event 	wizards who attended this event 	Typo 	
Every hundred odd years 	Every hundred-odd years 	Hyphen 	
memory Elizabeth spoke too 	memory-Elizabeth spoke too 	Hyphen 	
ave the goblins a world-wide monopoly 	ave the goblins a worldwide monopoly 	Should be one word 	
a heart pounding bungee dive 	a heart-pounding bungee dive 	Hyphen 	
a second pathway at a right-angle 	a second pathway at a right angle 	Remove hyphen 	
the now bigger, right-side 	the now bigger, right side 	Remove hyphen 	
the new dominate throne 	the new dominant throne 	Typo 	
Cosy like this isn't it? 	Cosy like this, isn't it? 	Comma 	
An almost unbearable stench 	An almost-unbearable stench 	Hyphen 	
shoved it into his mind scape's library 	shoved it into his mindscape's library 	Should be one word 	
the ghost's council chamber 	the ghosts' council chamber 	Move apostrophe 	
and wage snowball war 	and wage snowball wars 	Not sure 	
her sitting semi-circle of students 	her sitting semicircle of students 	Should be one word 	
her ever present muggle notebook 	her ever-present muggle notebook 	Hyphen 	
"Yes, Dear?" 	"Yes, dear?" 	Lowercase 	
"Magic, Dear." 	"Magic, dear." 	Lowercase 	
final name on the black board 	final name on the blackboard 	Should be one word 	
takes place on the 23rd. 	takes place on the 23rd." 	Add closing quote 	
"Except no-one dies." 	"Except no one dies." 	Remove hyphen 	
the brown-blonde haired boy 	the brown-blond-haired boy 	Typo and hyphen 	
to the thestral led carriages 	to the thestral-led carriages 	Hyphen 	
some insanely high level magic 	some insanely high-level magic 	Hyphen 	
an ice like visage instantly clamped 	an ice-like visage instantly clamped 	Hyphen 	
"Y-You…S-stop that." 	"Y-You… S-stop that." 	Space 	
She gasped. "I…I…" 	She gasped. "I… I…" 	Space 	
the now empty shelf 	the now-empty shelf 	Hyphen 	
forced to brake off his search 	forced to break off his search 	Typo 	
Whatever the teacher's should be doing 	Whatever the teachers should be doing 	Remove apostrophe 	
he shouldn't be John Potter should he 	he shouldn't be John Potter, should he 	Comma 	
get some practise, Miss Granger 	get some practice, Miss Granger 	Noun form 	
we wont be talking with her 	we won't be talking with her 	Apostrophe 	
"S'damn cold." Kevin muttered. 	"S'damn cold," Kevin muttered. 	Change to comma 	
found herself face to back 	found herself face-to-back 	Two hyphens 	
repair otherwise irreparable damage 	repair otherwise-irreparable damage 	Hyphen 	
From the Black Heiress 	From the Black heiress 	Lowercase 	
the ministry of magic 	the Ministry of Magic 	Capitalize 	
winter festival / the festival 	Winter Festival / the Festival 	Multiple occurences 	
no one piece 	not one piece 	missing letter? 	
I was not part of that little spiel of Malfoy's 	I was not part of that little spiel of Malfoy 	 	
Slytherin muscle 	Slytherin muscles 	plural 	
over the Slytherin 	over the Slytherin team 	two solutions 	
new to me too 	new to me, too 	comma 	
or 'the windmill' 	or 'the Windmill' 	 	
"We call that one 'the Shoe'." 	"We call that one 'the Shoe'." 	 	
among the box, the windmill, and the Shoe. 	among the Box, the Windmill, and the Shoe. 	 	
'Check all Box, Windmill, Show 'mentions for capitalization 	 	 	
and the winter festival 	and the Winter Festival 	 	
Check All Winter Festival or Festival 	 	 	
seeing is 'the hunt'." 	seeing is 'the Hunt'." 	 	
Check all hunt usages 	 	 	
 	 	 	
== Chapter 23 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
your independent council 	your independent counsel 	different meaning 	
that's my council 	that's my counsel 	different meaning 	
the baron as head 	 	 	
getting up nows, Lord Slytherin, Sir 	getting up nows, Lord Slytherin, sir 	Lowercase 	
to the family dinning room 	to the family dining room 	Typo 	
The brown haired witch pulled out 	The brown-haired witch 	Hyphen 	
to a still grinning Harry 	to a still-grinning Harry 	Hyphen 	
I'll appreciate your parents work 	I'll appreciate your parents' work 	Apostrophe 	
They all turned to the Dinning room's 	They all turned to the dining room's 	Typo and lowercase 	
one side of the dinning room 	one side of the dining room 	Typo 	
quarters, kitchens, dinning room 	quarters, kitchens, dining room 	Typo 	
a sideways look and blushed slightly." 	a sideways look and blushed slightly. 	Remove extraneous quote 	
other side on the hallway." 	other side of the hallway. 	Typo and remove extraneous quote 	
That… that's a lot of bedrooms. 	"That… that's a lot of bedrooms." 	Add quotes 	
to be a one person effort 	to be a one-person effort 	Hyphen 	
dropping mind leading comments 	dropping mind-leading comments 	Hyphen 	
and begun its slow 	and began its slow 	Typo 	
(Daphne still needed to change her slippers) 	—Daphne still needed to change her slippers— 	Change to em-dashes 	
a chocolate frog racing stand 	a chocolate-frog-racing stand 	Two hyphens 	
a twelve year old boy can attempt 	a twelve-year-old boy can attempt 	Two hyphens 	
an old style butler, if old style butlers 	an old-style butler, if old-style butlers 	Two hyphens 	
five foot long battle axes 	five-foot-long battle axes 	Two hyphens 	
like a never ending carpet 	like a never-ending carpet 	Hyphen 	
mostly for the girl's benefit 	mostly for the girls' benefit 	Move apostrophe 	
a one year transplanted nursery 	a one-year transplanted nursery 	Hyphen 	
more than one apparate 	more than one apparition 	Typo 	
The snow covered island 	The snow-covered island 	Hyphen 	
just off the north-most coast 	just off the northernmost coast 	Not sure 	
the big, Hogwarts blocking island 	the big, Hogwarts-blocking island 	Hyphen 	
playing a one man band 	playing a one-man band 	Hyphen 	
watching the one man band 	watching the one-man band 	Hyphen 	
to take an end of year exam 	to take an end-of-year exam 	Two hyphens 	
that no-one had seen 	that no one had seen 	Remove hyphen 	
the abandoned air-field would be the best 	the abandoned airfield would be the best 	Should be one word 	
The flat one down south make sense 	The flat one down south makes sense 	Typo 	
from a short term point of view 	from a short-term point of view 	Hyphen 	
nearby road access, — but 	nearby road access — but 	Remove comma 	
grand strategic potential, And which 	grand strategic potential, and which 	Lowercase 	
the just vacated empty chair 	the just-vacated empty chair 	Hyphen 	
Grand strategic potential, Mmm? 	Grand strategic potential, mmm? 	Lowercase 	
gave it the once over again 	gave it the once-over again 	Hyphen 	
outside on straight back chairs 	outside on straight-back chairs 	Hyphen 	
his three year old palomino 	his three-year-old palomino 	Two hyphens 	
held out a hand-full 	held out a hand full 	Remove hyphen (alternatively, "handful") 	
The special, short range snitches 	The special, short-range snitches 	Hyphen 	
He could feel his parsel magics 	He could feel his parselmagics 	Should be one word 	
There were Lords Malfoy, and Nott 	There were Lords Malfoy and Nott 	Remove comma 	
the other first time riders 	the other first-time riders 	Hyphen 	
a nervous looking Neville Longbottom 	a nervous-looking Neville Longbottom 	Hyphen 	
your four poster back at Hogwarts 	your four-poster back at Hogwarts 	Hyphen 	
both turning into wild boar 	both turning into wild boars 	Make plural 	
In the far off distance 	In the far-off distance 	Hyphen 	
the many low hanging trees 	the many low-hanging trees 	Hyphen 	
one low hanging branch 	one low-hanging branch 	Hyphen 	
a half dozen other cutting curses 	a half-dozen other cutting curses 	Hyphen 	
seemingly from no where 	seemingly from nowhere 	Should be one word 	
in Zach's direction who wielded 	in Zach's direction, who wielded 	Comma 	
but fate was on his side 	but Fate was on his side 	Capitalize 	
A flash of light gray 	A flash of light grey 	Typo 	
as illusive as the wind 	as elusive as the wind 	Typo 	
huge black dog — A grim —Uncle Sirius 	huge black dog — a grim — Uncle Sirius 	Lowercase, and add space after em-dash 	
a bone chilling bark 	a bone-chilling bark 	Hyphen 	
a bone crunching future 	a bone-crunching future 	Hyphen 	
through a white water river 	through a whitewater river 	Should be one word 	
or even second generation half-bloods 	or even second-generation half-bloods 	Hyphen 	
boot tapped his horse's flanks 	boot-tapped his horse's flanks 	Not sure 	
having children—" she reduced 	having children"—she reduced 	Move em-dash 	
voice spells"—with our lord 	voice spells—"with our lord 	Move em-dash 	
at the now stunned squirrel 	at the now-stunned squirrel 	Hyphen 	
A well played trick 	A well-played trick 	Hyphen 	
my future daughter in law 	my future daughter-in-law 	Two hyphens 	
the steep up and down landscape 	the steep up-and-down landscape 	Two hyphens 	
Neville pulled up along side 	Neville pulled up alongside 	Should be one word 	
he was gong to scream 	he was going to scream 	Typo 	
The deal with death? 	The deal with Death? 	Capitalize 	
in front of Johns face 	in front of John's face 	Apostrophe 	
flung form his horse 	flung from his horse 	Typo 	
It's eyes — yes, it now had eyes 	Its eyes — yes, it now had eyes 	Remove apostrophe 	
raised it's largest branch 	raised its largest branch 	Remove apostrophe 	
wearing full Auror gear 	wearing full auror gear 	Lowercase 	
letting out an ear piercing screech 	letting out an ear-piercing screech 	Hyphen 	
a two kilo, unbreakable, unsummonable, shield	a two-kilo, unbreakable, unsummonable, shield	Hyphen 	
a mere one-hundred kilo 	a mere one-hundred-kilo 	Hyphen 	
amateur discuss throw 	amateur discus throw 	Typo 	
I do know this — These are 	I do know this — these are 	Lowercase 	
his voice was lower, more gravely 	his voice was lower, more gravelly 	Typo 	
extends all round the ballroom 	extends all around the ballroom 	Not sure 	
almost perfect circular lake 	almost perfectly circular lake 	Alternatively, "almost-perfect" 	
seemed far to enmeshed 	seemed far too enmeshed 	Typo 	
its more comfy than your back 	it's more comfy than your back 	Apostrophe 	
a hundred iron shod hooves 	a hundred ironshod hooves 	Should be one word 	
Harry charged though the forest 	Harry charged through the forest 	Typo 	
He sliced though yet another 	He sliced through yet another 	Typo 	
thunderstorm on a window pane 	thunderstorm on a windowpane 	Should be one word 	
her umpteenth hundred metre sprint 	her umpteenth hundred-metre sprint 	Hyphen 	
"Dementors." John whispered 	"Dementors," John whispered 	Change to comma 	
leaves by their horses feet 	leaves by their horses' feet 	Apostrophe 	
"No." John said, his voice firm 	"No," John said, his voice firm 	Change to comma 	
that time in the grave yard 	that time in the graveyard 	Should be one word 	
Hermione took deep, panting breathes 	Hermione took deep, panting breaths 	Typo 	
seventy years of dark lord memories 	seventy years of Dark Lord memories 	Capitalize 	
Greengrass manor 	Greengrass Manor 	Multiple occurrences 	
an almost continual stream 	an almost-continuous stream 	Hyphen, and change "continual" to "continuous" (they have different meanings)	
the Greengrass winter festival 	the Greengrass Winter Festival 	Capitalize 	
Harry stood face to face with 	Harry stood face-to-face with 	Two hyphens 	
nearest road for the Knight Wagons 	nearest road for the knight wagons 	For consistency with the rest of the story 	
went wide eyed 	went wide-eyed 	hyphen 	
the old wizard's play room 	the old wizard's playroom 	 	
you'll need a small wood 	 	I believe a word is missing? Or is it a phrasing? 	
really part of magical Britain 	really part of Magical Britain 	 	
to be here this year too 	to be here this year, too 	comma 	
revelio!" His wand flashed, 	revelio!" his wand flashed, 	 	
Lord Chief-Auror 	Lord Chief Auror 	 	
From on the ground  	From on the ground  	I believe the on is not needed 	
from the steep up and down 	from the steep up-and-down 	might be easier to read 	
for fucks sake 	for fuck's sake 	appostroph 	
It's the deathly hallows 	It's the Deathly Hallows 	 	
The three brothers 	The Three Brothers 	 	
The deal with death?" 	The deal with Death?" 	 	
is going to be trouble 	is going to be in trouble 	both are correct, not sure if you meant second 	
"Weeeeeeee". 	"Weeeeeeee!" 	dot behind quotation 	
"Wee. Snow." 	"Wee! Snow!" 	Might fit her better