Alice meets The Seven Forest Animals

Back at the now-clean cottage Alice (dressed in a light blue T-shirt and matching pants) held a lit candle in her hands and walked over the stairs with the Tulgey Wood creatures (all dressed in pajamas). "Let's see what's upstairs." Alice told her friends, as she led them upstairs and into a small room. Only the two pencil birds didn't come upstairs; they were knocked backwards. So they decided to climb up the stairs herself. "Oh, what adorable beds!" she squealed, as she noticed seven beds against the walls.
"And look, they have their names carved on them." Alice told the Tulgey Wood creatures. "Honest John, Wilbur, Winnie the Pooh, Piglet. What funny names for children!" she giggled while she continued reading the remaining names on the beds. "Donald Duck, Panchito Pistoles, and Jose Carioca."
Alice yawned and rubbed her eyes. "I'm a little sleepy myself." The young chaos began to yawn as well. "Oh! Oh!" Alice lay down across Honest John's bed, Donald's bed, and Pooh's bed. As Alice fell asleep, one of the hammer birds put out the candle while the other three covered up the sleeping little girl. Soon, all of the Tulgey Wood creatures fell asleep on the other forest animals' beds as well.
As the pencil birds were still climbing up the stairs, music began to fill the bedroom as the seven forest animals came closer and closer to the cottage.
Honest John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet: Hi-hoHi-hoHi-hoHi-ho
As the music got louder, the Tulgey Wood creatures woke up and jumped off the beds.
Honest John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet: Hi-hoHi-ho
The Tulgey Wood creatures ran out of the beds and down the stairs, knocking over the pencil birds again. Then they ran over to the window and saw the forest animals come closer and closer to the cottage.
Honest John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet: Hi-hoHi-hoIt's home from work we goHi-hoHi-ho!Hi-hoHi-hoHi-hoHeigh-hoHi-hoHi-hoIt's home from work we go
As the singing grew louder, the Tulgey Wood creatures ran out of the cottage, forgetting that they had knocked over the pencil birds.
Honest John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet: Hi-hoHi-hoHi-hoHi-hoHi-hoHi-hoHi-hoHi-hoIt's home from work we go
The Tulgey Wood creatures ran back into the forest, making sure the forest animals didn't see them.
Honest John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet: Hi-hoHi-hoHi-hoHi-hoIt's home from work we goHi-hoHi-hoHi-hoHi...
"Look!" yelled Honest John, as he stopped walking and pointed to their house, causing the duck, albatross, parrot, rooster, teddy bear, and pig to bump right into him. "Our house! The lit's light... Uh, the light's lit!" Simba told his friends in shock.
The fox, duck, albatross, parrot, rooster, teddy bear, and pig poked their heads out from behind three different trees. "Jiminy Cricket!" they gasped. "The door is open." said Honest John. "The chimney's smoking." said Wilbur. "Something's in there." said Pooh. "Maybe a ghost." suggested Wilbur. "Or un duende." suggested Panchito. "A demon." suggested Honest John. "Or a dragon." suggested Pooh. "Mark my words, there's trouble a-brewin'!" warned Donald. "I felt it coming all day." He lifted up his right webbed-foot and pointed to it. "My feet hurt!" he nodded in a haughty way.
"Dios mio." said Panchito. "That's a bad sign." said Pooh. "What will we do?" Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet asked in unison. "Let's sneak up on it, amigos." suggested Panchito. "Yes. We'll, uh, squeak up... Sneak up." said Honest John before he cleared his throat. "Come on, guys. Follow me."
So armed with their pickaxes, Honest John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet snuck to the front of their cottage and looked inside. "Psst!" whispered Honest John, as he snuck into the cottage with the duck, albatross, parrot, rooster, teddy bear, and pig right behind him.
When they were all the way in the cottage, Piglet slammed the door behind him. The fox, duck, albatross, parrot, rooster, and teddy bear scrambled around in terror, ready to attack. "Shhhhhh!" They all shushed Piglet, startling him. "Shhhh!" Piglet shushed the door, as well. "Why did I have to shush the others?" he said to himself.
"Careful, everyone. Search every cook and nanny... Hook and granny... Crooked fan... Search everywhere." Honest John told his friends, as they split up and began to seach the entire downstairs for whoever was in the cottage besides them. But all they found was a clean cottage.
Honest John pointed to the floor with Panchito and Pooh right behind him. "Look! The floor, it's been swept!" They looked at the floor with suspicion.
Donald wiped his fingertip over one of the chairs. "Hah!" he exclaimed, "Chair's been dusted!"
Wilbur looked at the clean window and opened it. "Our window's been washed."
"Cielos, our cobwebs are missing." gasped Panchito.
Honest John looked surprised. "Why, why, why, why, the whole place is clean!" he said.
"There's dirty work afoot." Donald said with determination, as Honest John nodded at him.
Pooh looked in the sink to see that it was bare. "Sink's empty. Hey! Somebody stole our dishes!" he cried.
"They're not stolen, they're put away." Wilbur said, pointing to the cupboard with his wing.
Panchito took out his clean light blue cup. "My mi taza has been washed." he said. Then, he swiped around the inside of the cup with his finger and sadly said, "Suger's gone."
Wilbur and Piglet were standing by a cauldron that was cooking over the fire in the fireplace. "Something's cooking." said Wilbur, as he and Piglet sniffed the air. "Smells good." He grabbed a spoon and was about to taste what was inside the cauldron before Donald stomped towards him and Piglet.
"Don't touch it, you fools!" snapped Donald, as he shoved the albatross and pig aside from the pot. "Might be poison." The pot's contents hissed with steam, and the lid rattled. "See?" Donald explained, "It's witch's brew."
"Look what's happened to our stable... Uh, table." said Honest John, as he noticed the now-clean table with clean dishes and a vase filled with white daisies and red roses on it.
Panchito stared at the flowers that had been put in the vase and took them out.
"Flores!" he exclaimed, as he took a sniff.
Pooh looked at him. "Huh?"
"Mira! Honeysuckle!" He shoved the honeysuckle flowers in the teddy bear's face, causing him to push the honeysuckle away and step back.
"Don't do it! Take them away!" sputtered the teddy bear. "My allergies! I'm allergic to pollen! You know I can't stand it! I ca- I ca-"
The poor teddy bear, was about to sneeze until the fox, the duck, the albatross, the parrot, the rooster, and the pig rushed to stop him from sneezing.
"Look out!"
"I know how to stop him!"
"No! Hold his nose!"
"Don't let go!"
The six forest animals stopped him from doing so by putting their forefingers under his nose. Pooh sighed. "Thanks, guys; I'm OK now." With that, the other woodland animals walked away.
But he wasn't OK, oh no!
"AAAAAHHHHHH-CHOO!!!!"
With a great sneeze, he blew out a mighty gust of air that sent Piglet, Panchito, Wilbur, and Honest John flying off their feet. Only Donald managed to keep his feet on the ground and across the room.
"Hey!" He fought against the wind by walking towards Pooh, holding onto his hat.
Jose and the other four forest animals crashed against the wall and ended up in a big pile. They shushed Pooh, who rubbed his nose with a paw.
The duck angrily stomped towards Pooh. "Pooh, you imbecilic buffoon!" he shouted, "Why did you have to sneeze?"
"I'm sorry, I can't help it. You know I'm allergic to pollen." declared Pooh, "It's natural, so when you gotta, you gotta."
Then he felt another sneeze coming on. "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Oh, it's coming!"
Pooh was going to sneeze again until Honest John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, and Piglet piled on top of him and tied his shirt around his nose to stop him from sneezing again.
"Get him!" Panchito shouted.
"Don't let him!" cried Jose.
"Tie it tight!" Piglet wailed.
"I'll make a hard knot!" said Wilbur, "There! That oughta hold him!"
"Thanks again." sighed Pooh just before Wilbur shushed him again.
"Quiet, you fool!" Donald snapped indignantly, "Do you wanna get us all killed?"
Suddenly, three mini hammers, who were hiding in the rafters, looked at each other and smiled before they tapped on a wall, causing the forest animals to look around the room, thinking that the creature was in the room.
"Wh-wh-what's that?" gasped Pooh.
"That's it!" Honest John whispered to his friends.
"The monster is in this very room right now." added Donald.
Then the glasses birds gave a loud shriek causing the forest animals to run around the room, scared and hiding in different places.
Pooh hid in a pot.
Wilbur hid behind a chair.
Jose hid in a bucket with a broom on his head.
Piglet hid in a woodpile with an axe on one of the logs.
Donald hid in a sack of potatoes.
Panchito hid under the stairs.
Honest John and his friends crawled out of their hiding places and tiptoed towards the steps where Panchito was hiding. "It's up there." Honest John said, pointing up the stairs.
"Yeah. In the bedroom." said Jose.
"One of us has to go down and chase it up. Up. Down." said Honest John, as the others nodded in unison. Then they turned their heads toward Piglet, who tried to escape. "Oh d-d-d-dear! I'm outta here!"
Honest John handed Piglet the candle. "Here, take it."
"But I don't want to do it." said Piglet, sweating buckets.
"Don't be nervous," Honest John smiled. "Don't be afraid. We're right behind you."
"Yes," Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, and Pooh added. "Right behind you."
Piglet took a deep breath and nodded. "OK." Nervously, he flew up the stairs, pushed opened the door, and looked into the room.
As Piglet spun in the room, he heard a groaning noise as he saw Alice stretching with the covers over her. "Oh dear! IT'S A MONSTER!" screamed a terrified Piglet, as he ran right back down the stairs where the other forest animals were waiting.
But Honest John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, and Pooh thought Piglet was the monster, so they ran out of the cottage and locked Piglet in the cottage. Finally, Piglet pulled so hard that he broke the door knob and ended up falling into the pots and pans, making him look like a monster.
As he ran out of the house, John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, and Pooh were hiding behind a tree. "Here it comes!" gasped Pooh. "Now's our chance." said Wilbur. The albatross, the teddy bear, and the rest of the forest animals were ready to attack the creature.
"Give it to 'im!" Honest John shouted.
"Don't let him get away!" cried Panchito.
"Take that, and that, and that!" snapped Jose.
But when they did, they ended up knocking all of the pots and pans off of Piglet. "Hold on there. It's only Piglet." said Honest John.
The forest animals began to ask Piglet what the monster looked like, but they kept asking their questions all at the same time confusing the little pig.
"Was it a dragon?" asked Pooh.
"Has it got horns?" Donald questioned in wonder, as Piglet put his hooves on top of his head and wiggled them.
"Was it breathing fire?" Wilbur wanted to know, as Piglet stuck his tongue out and spat. Piglet's tongue then started to emit saliva.
"Was it droolin'?" Jose asked.
"What was it doin'?" asked Panchito.
Finally, Piglet managed to tell them that the monster was sleeping in their beds.
"Like this." Piglet demonstrated by tilting his head to the right, putting it on his clasped hooves, closing his eyes, and snoring.
"He says it's a-a monster...asleep...in our beds." said Honest John.
Pooh called out, "Let's grab it while it's sleeping!"
"Yeah, while it's sleeping!" agreed the six forest animals in unison.
"Hurry, men!" Honest John ordered, "It's now or never!"
"Off with his head!" Wilbur yelled.
"Break it to pieces!" Pooh yelled.
"Chop it to pieces." Jose corrected.
"Don't stop until it's dead!" Donald agreed.
They marched back inside the cottage. Piglet was the last one to go into the cottage, his foot still caught in a pot.
Cautiously, Honest John, Donald, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet entered their bedroom, where Alice was still moaning and stretching under the covers.
"Jiminy Cricket!" gasped Pooh.
"Cielos!" added Panchito.
"Gee!" Jose explained.
"What a monster!" Piglet exclaimed.
"And it's sleeping on my bed!" complained Donald.
"Let's kill it before it wakes up!" a determined Honest John exclaimed.
"Which end do we kill?" asked Wilbur.
Honest John, Donald, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet glared at him.
Then the seven forest animals rushed towards their beds, holding up their weapons (pickaxes, clubs, swords, and whatnots). When Honest John pulled off the covers, he and the other boys were amazed to see little Alice Liddell snoozing peacefully.
Honest John pointed to the blonde-haired girl. "Why!"
"What is it?" asked Wilbur.
"Why it-it-it's a girl! And she's got blonde hair!" stuttered Honest John.
"She sure is purdy!" Pooh gushed.
"She's hermosa," Panchito beamed with hearts in his eyes. "Just like una angela."
"Angel? Ha!" Donald scoffed. "She's a female and all females are poison! They're full of wicked wiles!"
"What are wicked wiles?' asked Panchito.
"I don't know, but I'm against 'em, you know!" Donald remarked the rooster.
Honest John shushed the duck, "Not so loud! You'll wake her up!"
"Oh, let her wake up! She don't belong here no how!" Donald complained loudly.
Honest John, Wilbur, Jose, Panchito, Pooh, and Piglet glared at Donald and shushed him again.
The forest animals saw Alice moving around. "Look out!" Jose cried, "She's moving!"
"What'll we do?" Pooh gasped, hugging Panchito.
"She's scratching herself!" Wilbur noted, as he saw Alice scratching her head.
"She's really waking up!" Piglet guessed.
"Hide!" Honest John cried. He and the other forest animals scrambled around, and, eventually, they all hid at the foot of the beds.
Alice woke up and yawned. "Oh, dear. I wonder if the children are. . . oh!" As she noticed the heads of the seven forest animals she gasped in shock, and she grabbed the covers to cover up needlessly, since she was still wearing her pajamas. Of course, Alice realized that a pre-teenaged girl like herself couldn't have men see her in her pajamas. "Why, you're a fox, a duck, an albatross, a parrot, a rooster, a teddy bear, and a pig! How do you do?"
The forest animals popped their heads up from under the foot of the bed and looked at each other sceptically.
"I said, how do you do?" Alice repeated.
"How do ya do what?" snapped Donald, angrily crossing his arms.
Alice laughed. "Oh, you can talk! I'm so glad! Now don't tell me who ya are. Let me guess." She looked around and said to Honest John. "I know, you're Johnathan Worthington Foulfellow."
"Why-why, yes, yes. That's true." said the fox, "But just call me Honest John."
Then she looked at the rooster. "And you," she said. "You're Panchito Pistoles."
Panchito's face turned beet red. "Oh, gosh!" he giggled bashfully while twisting his sombrero in his hands.
The little girl looked at the parrot, who was yawning. "And you, you're Jose Carioca."
"How'd you guess?" said the parrot, smacking his lips.
Alice looked at the teddy bear wearing the red T-shirt. "And you?"
"Ah...ah...ah...ah..." Pooh was about to sneeze before Donald and Piglet stopped him with the finger trick. "You're Winnie the Pooh." Alice smiled. Pooh sighed after Donald and Piglet removed their singer and hoof from his nose. But before anything else could happen,...
"Ah-choo!" Pooh sneezed, causing the young girl and the rest of the forest animals to giggle.
Alice then looked at the albatross and the pig. "And you must be..."
"Wilbur of Albatross Airlines, miss," said the albatross. "That's me."
"And I'm Piglet." said the pig. "I can't help but stutter much."
"You mean you can't stop stuttering?" Alice asked hopefully.
"I don't know," said Piglet. "I never tried." Honest John, Wilbur, Joe, Panchito, and Pooh only laughed.
"That's too bad!" Alice said sadly.
Then she turned to look at the duck, who crossed his arms in defiance. "Oh! You must be Donald Duck."
"Who's that?" Honest John asked, as he pointed to Donald while he and the remaining forest animals laughed.
"We know who we are," exclaimed Donald. "Ask her who she is and what she's doing here."
"Yes," Honest John said briskly. "What are you and who are you doing here? What are you..."
Finally, Honest John managed to change from a sharp tone of voice to a kind one. "Who are you, my dear?" he asked politely.
"Oh, how silly of me!" the blonde said. "I'm Alice Liddell."
"Alice Liddell?" asked Honest John.
"The princess?" the other forest animals asked in unison.
"Yes!"
"Well," Honest John smiled before stuttering a bit. "My dear quincess...er, I mean princess, we're honored. We're...um...We're...um..."
"Mad as hornets!" Donald finished.
"Mad as hornets!" Honest John repeated. But then, he snapped out of what Donald saying and got back to what he was saying. "No, we're not! We're bad as cornets, no, as 
bad as...What was I saying?"
"Nothing!" Donald growled, "Just standing there sputterin' like a doodlebug!"
"Who's butterin' like a spoodledug? Who's rud, uh...the gutter bug?" Honest John snapped.
"Ah, shut up and tell her to get out!" Donald snapped.
"Please don't send me away!" Alice begged the forest animals. "If you do, do, she'll kill me!"
"Kill you?" gasped Honest John.
"Who will?" asked Wilbur.
"Si, who?" asked Panchito.
"My stepmother, Mirage." Alice said.
"Mirage?!?!?!" gasped all seven forest animals in unison.
"She's malvada!" gasped Panchito.
"She's bad!" Wilbur said.
"She's mighty mean," Pooh cried.
"She's an old witch!" Donald added, "I'm warning you guys! If Mirage finds her here, she'll swoop down and reek her vengeance on us!"
Alice shook her head. "But she doesn't know where I am."
"Oh, she doesn't, huh?" Donald yelled angrily. "She knows everything! She's full of black magic. She can even make herself invisible! Might be in this room, right now!"
The forest animals looked around nervously. Piglet lifted up Wilbur's scarf. "Stop that!" Wilbur conked the pig on the head with his wing.
"Oh, she'll never find me here. And if you let me stay, I'll keep house for you," Alice suggested, "I'll wash, and sew, and sweep, and cook. . ."
"Cook!" All seven forest animals exclaimed in unison.
"Can ya make dapple lumplings, lupple damplings?" Honest John stuttered.
"Apple dumplings!" Donald and Jose corrected him in unison.
"Yes, Crapple Dumpkings." said Honest John.
"Yes," said Alice, "and plum pudding, and gooseberry pie,..."
"Gooseberry pie?" all the forest animals (except Donald) cheered, "Hurray, she stays!"
Category:Fan Fiction
Snow White
Snow White Fanmake
Category:Snow White Parodies
Category:Snow White spoofs