Looney Tunes: Rabbits Run/Transcript

Foghorn Leghorn: What's our, I say, what's our status, boy?
Cecil Turtle: Oh, it's Cecil, the turtle. There wasn't enough room on the name tag for "the turtle", so it just says "Cecil", but I am a turtle.
Foghorn Leghorn: I don't care if you're the Loch Ness Monster.
Cecil Turtle: What? You should care.
Foghorn Leghorn: Are they in position or not, son?
Cecil Turtle: Uh… Uh… Uh… Now they are.
Foghorn Leghorn: There she is. The elusive Flora Occulta. Blooms once every 200 years and today's, I say, today's our lucky day. Commence Operation Flower Grab.
Cecil Turtle: Commence Operation Flower Grab.
Foghorn Leghorn: Operation Flower Grab. Who came up with that name?
Pete Puma: That was me!
Foghorn Leghorn: You're fired.
Pete Puma: Huh? (moans sadly)
Cecil Turtle: Oh, what happened?
Foghorn Leghorn: I'll tell you what happened. Someone just got to the world's most powerful weapon before we did. I say, someone just got to the world's most powerful weapon...
Cecil Turtle: Okay, we heard you the first time.
Perfume Girl: Um, excuse me.
Lola Bunny: Oh, sorry, didn't see you there. I was just taking my lunch break. Actually, that's not true. I was sleeping under the counter. But that's only because my boss doesn't give me a sleep break, which I think is weird. I'm sorry, did you need something?
Perfume Girl: I'd like to buy this perfume.
Lola Bunny: Ew, really? You want to buy this?
Perfume Girl: Why? Is it bad?
Lola Bunny: No, it's not bad. It's, it's just… (sniffs) Well, it's fine. I mean, sure it's got some jasmine, a hint of vanilla, maybe a little sandalwood, but does this move you?
Perfume Girl: What do you mean?
Lola Bunny: A scent needs to transport you. It needs to caress you, evoke memories, make you feel like you're not alone. A scent should envelope you, take care of you, love you. Does this scent do that for you?
Perfume Girl: I need to call my therapist. (runs off crying)
Lola Bunny: Come again!
Giovanni Jones: What on earth do you think you're doing? Your job is to sell perfume.
Lola Bunny: Uh, this isn't perfume.
Giovanni Jones: Oh, here we go.
Lola Bunny: It isn't!
Giovanni Jones: You don't think any perfume is good enough.
Lola Bunny: Mine will be.
Giovanni Jones: Don't tell me you're still clinging to the idea that you're going to create the most beautiful fragrance in the world, take it to Paris and sell it to the House of Mouffette.
Lola Bunny: Uh, that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Giovanni Jones: Lola, the House of Mouffette is the preeminent perfumery in the industry. They're not interested in a little shop girl who makes perfume in her bath tub.
Lola Bunny: Uh, I make 'em in my sink, okay? The bath tub is where I keep my sweaters. I've a very teeny apartment. I keep my shoes in my stove. My freezer's full of sunglasses.
Giovanni Jones: I don't care. Just like the House of Mouffette is never gonna care about your perfume. 
Lola Bunny: It doesn't matter that Giovanni doesn't believe in me. All that matters is that I believe in me. Is that right? Or is it, "I believe in myself"? Is it, "I believe in I-self"? No, that's definitely wrong. I'm going to stick with, "I believe in me." (sings) The world can be such a stinky place with the stench of humanity in your face. I'm gonna clear the room of gloom and doom when I create my own perfume. I got a smell in my mind. I'm going to let it loose on the world. I know that my fragrance will make a real difference 'cause a scent is worth a thousand words. I'll break open a bunch of candy bars and harvest out the nougat. Then I'll take the odor from a four leaf clover and mix them all into it. Sandalwood sure smells good when you blend it with apple pie. A hint of some geranium. This toilette is oh, so fine. Like a butterfly if butterflies smelled. Like puppies and forgiveness and a wishing well. I got a smell in my mind. I'm going to let it loose on the world. I know that my fragrance will make a real difference 'cause a scent is worth a thousand words. I got an itch to find a witch and harness all of her powers. We'll fly on her broom to the top of the moon. And we'll lasso all the flowers. I think there are flowers on the moon. (speaks) I mean, I'm not 100% sure, but I'm like 90% sure. Okay, maybe 80%. (sings) I'll take my fragrance to the United Nations. All the leaders of the world will be in the room. Then I will spritz my fabulous signature smell into the air-conditioning vents and they'll forget for a sec why they don't get along. And they'll find peace through my perfume. I mean, let's be real, I don't get how diplomacy works, but I think this could work. I got a smell in my mind. I'm going to let it loose on the world. I know that my fragrance will make a real difference 'cause a scent is worth a thousand words.
Giovanni Jones: You're fired!
Lola Bunny: Okay, fired.
[Lola leaves the shopping mall.]
Lola Bunny: Wooh, didn't see that coming. But it's okay. That's, that's in the past and it's just going to make it that much sweeter when my dream really does come true. Wait a second, that's in the future. Okay, I got... I got to stay in the present, Lola. There's tons to be grateful for here in the present. Like what? I can't think of anything to be grateful for. Feel like my world is collapsing. I can't breathe. (grabs a paper bag and breathes heavily) Okay, okay. Got to think of one little thing to be grateful for. I know. It's a beautiful sunny day.
[Suddenly, it starts raining.]
Lola Bunny: Really? 
[As she runs through the rain, she tries to call for taxi.]
Lola Bunny: Hey! Hey!
Bugs Bunny: What's up, Doc?
Lola Bunny: Huh? Oh, no, I'm not a doctor. I'm a perfume salesperson. Well, I used to be. I just got fired.
Bugs Bunny: Sorry to hear that. Where to?
Lola Bunny: Uh, home, please.
Bugs Bunny: Address? 
Lola Bunny: You know what, it will be easier if I just direct you. Just, uh, head downtown. Okay, take a left up here. It will be quicker, I promise. Okay, now a sharp right. Good. All righty, you just turn left into this alley.
Bugs Bunny: Really? 
Lola Bunny: Yeah, just gun it through here. Okay, give me a second. I just, uh, want to get a lay of the land. Okay, we're good. Now, you're gonna want to make a U-turn.
Bugs Bunny: Are you sure you know where you're goin'?
Lola Bunny: Uh, I think I know how to get home. (scoffs) I go there every day. Okay, go right over here. Sorry, you're gonna want to turn around. Sorry. Left, left, left. One more right… Ooh, I don't know this area. Um, could you just do a quick U-turn. And we're here.
Bugs Bunny: Which boat is yours?
Lola Bunny: Wait a second! This is where I used to live. Lola, you're not a barge captain anymore.
Bugs Bunny: You were a barge captain?
Lola Bunny: Yeah, for seven years. Or is that a dream I had? Anyway, you probably need to make another one of those U-turns 'cause I live really far from here.
Lola Bunny: 14th street between 6th and 7th. And that's all I'm going to say. You're the cab driver, I'm going to let you do your job. You are not going to hear another peep outta me. Not going to say another single word. Oh, what's that picture?
Bugs Bunny: That's where I used to live. In fact, we're actually right next to it. There you go. That's where it was, until the city decided that one thing it needed was another high-rise.
Lola Bunny: Wow, I can tell this is really… Really very hard, very emotional. So, I'm not going to ask you any more questions. What made you decide to become a cab driver?
Bugs Bunny: Are you kidding? It's great. I'm my own boss. I choose who I pick up, who I don't. Sometimes I make the wrong choice.
Lola Bunny: Doesn't it get lonely, driving around with a bunch of strangers?
Bugs Bunny: I like it that way. It's like being invisible in a city full of millions.
Lola Bunny: Whoa!
Bugs Bunny: That'll be $24.97. I didn't charge you for your little short cut.
Lola Bunny: Oh, my gosh, that is so nice of you. Oh! Oh, no!
Bugs Bunny: What?
Lola Bunny: I must have left my purse at work. Don't worry, I have money upstairs. I have a cash jar that I keep in the microwave. It's a really small apartment. B-R-B, promise.
Bugs Bunny: You better, the meter's running.
Lola Bunny: What? Where's my cash jar? Ah, that's right, I kept accidentally cooking it, so I moved it to my hat drawer.
Speedy Gonzales: Que pasa?
Lola Bunny: Ah, oh.
Speedy Gonzales: Seriously? Lola, I've been your landlord for five years. When you gonna stop screaming every time you see me?
Lola Bunny: Sorry, I just never get used to it.
Speedy Gonzales: I got something for you.
Lola Bunny: Speedy, I'm so touched.
Speedy Gonzales: Well, I know how much you like flowers and smells and all that stuff, so I was in Mexico and I thought I'd pick it up.
Lola Bunny: When were you in Mexico?
Speedy Gonzales: Oh, about a half hour ago. 
Lola Bunny: It's beautiful. 
Speedy Gonzales: Legend says it only blooms once every 200 years high atop the Sierra Guadalupe. It bloomed today.
Lola Bunny: (sniffs) That smell, it's so inspiring. It's, it's perfect.
Speedy Gonzales: Oh, don't mind me, I'll let myself out. Don't offer me a glass of water or anything. It's not like I ran 2,500 miles carrying an object three times my size. No big deal. Remember, rent is due tomorrow. You're not listening. I'll be back saying, "Where's your rent check?" And you'll say, "I forgot. Sorry, here it is." We do it every time. Whatever. Remember, rent is due tomorrow.
Bugs Bunny: Well, I can afford to wait, but I'm not sure she can.
Foghorn Leghorn: Is it a drone?
Cecil Turtle: If it is, it's faster than any drone we've got.
Foghorn Leghorn: We can't, I say, we can't lose that flower.
Lab Coat: We've mapped the trajectory and know where it ended up.
Foghorn Leghorn: Russia? China?
Lab Coat: New York City. 1000 West 14th Street, apartment 12 to be exact. 
Cecil Turtle: We've got her.
Foghorn Leghorn: Her? Get me Fudd.
Pete Puma: Here's Fudd.
Foghorn Leghorn: I thought I fired you.
Pete Puma: You can't fire an intern.
Foghorn Leghorn: Hello, I say, hello, Fudd. Now just listen up a minute, son. I say, I got… I got a little problem here.
Cecil Turtle: (on phone) There's been a development. I don't have the flower, but I know who does.
Lola Bunny: (sniffs) Hmm, that clove's coming on a little strong. A little clove goes a long way. All right, let's see here. Maybe just a smidge of geranium. (inhales deeply) Ooh, Mummy, that's nice.
Elmer Fudd: (on phone) I have the wabbit in my sights.
Foghorn Leghorn: (on phone) What about the flower?
Elmer Fudd: (on phone) Still there.
Foghorn Leghorn: (on phone) Okay, son, stick with her like a tick on a coonhound.
Elmer Fudd: (on phone) What?
Foghorn Leghorn: (on phone) Just watch her.
Lola Bunny: Okay, I've got the base where I want it. And now the secret weapon. Here goes nothing.
Lola Bunny: O-M-G! 
Elmer Fudd: (on phone) O-M-G! 
Lola Bunny: I did it! I created my fragrance!
Elmer Fudd: (on phone) She did it! She created invisibility.
Foghorn Leghorn: (on phone) Well, what are you, I say, what are you talking to me for, son? Get in there!
Lola Bunny: It smells so good! Ooh! I can't believe it. Everyone's going to want this.
Oh! Ow! Right in the eye. Ooh, that really stung. I'll have to put a warning on the bottle. Close eyes before spraying. (gasps) Ooh, I wonder what the bottle's going to look like. I wonder what I'm going to call it. Ooh, this perfume's gonna be huge!
[There was a knock on the door.]
Lola Bunny: Who could that be? (gasps) That poor cab driver. Sorry, I'm coming. Got a little side-tracked, creating the world's most beautiful fragrance.
Whoa!
Drive!
Uh, I drive when I decide to drive. I just decided to drive.
Huh? (grumbles)
You want to tell me what the heck is going on?
Oh, you want to know what's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on.
I'll tell you exactly what's going on.
Can it be sometime today?
The cosmetics industry is made up of sharks. Well, not actual sharks. That would be weird. Be kind of amazing though 'cause sharks never stop swimming. So that means they would never stop making cosmetics.
Bugs Bunny: What does this have to do with us being shot at?
Ten minutes ago, I created the world's most beautiful fragrance. I know that sounds braggy, but it's a fact. I know perfume. And I also know that this bottle is worth millions, maybe billions. And everyone who's anyone in the beauty industry is going to want it! I bet they were spying on me through binoculars from the apartment across the street.
No one was spying on you through binoculars.
I've been working on creating this fragrance for years.
Surely, I'm on everyone's radar in the cosmetics industry.
I'm probably being bugged right now.
Oh, no, I'm the one being bugged.
Okay, you know what, drive to Paris.
Uh, you can't drive to Paris.
You have to fly.
Then take me to the airport.
I'm not taking you anywhere!
Please! I have to get this to the House of Mouffette before someone steals it from me.
Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to get there with someone else's help.
Oh, is this about the money I owe you? What was it, 20 bucks? You're not going to help me for 20 bucks? Not that I'm counting, but, uh...
Good thing I'm gonna be rich.
Look, I promise I'll pay you.
(gasps) There's a bank right there.
We can do it right now.
Trust me, this isn't about the money.
I insist.
My mother taught me, "Always repay your debts". Or was it, "Always brush your hair before bed"? No, 'cause these are my ears. It was "Always repay your debts".
We can assume they're working together.
They have the same last name.
So they're probably a husband-and-wife crime team. Or brother-sister.
I'm just saying.
Well, whoever they are, they're about to be famous.
Reporter: (on TV) The suspects are at large and considered dangerous. The State Department is offering a reward of $500,000 for any information leading to their capture.
"Give me all your money and no one gets blasted to smithereens."
Smithereens?
She ain't going to know what that is.
These are city folk.
Hmm, maybe "bits".
"Blasted to bits."
That's got a ring to it.
Course it's a squirt gun.
Come on, Sam, don't doubt yourself!
Blasted to bits, it is!
Is that right?
That don't look right.
Bank Teller: Next customer.
Hold your horses, girlie!
Uh, that don't look
right either.
I'm running out of room here.
Uh, sir?
Dad-gummit! You can't rush a bank robbery! (everyone gasps) Uh, I mean, uh...
Do you want it in 50s or 20s?
Or a bunch of 10s?
I love a 10.
Maybe you're more of a coin guy though?
Bunch of coins jingling in your pocket?
I don't care, whatever.
Bank Teller: Next customer.
Uh...
Uh, I need to get some...
Okay.
We got to get out of here.
Huh? Huh?
Huh?
Ooh!
Huh?
(laughs evilly)
What about your money?
Get in the cab! 
Yosemite Sam: You're not a-going anywhere! Now, get in the truck!
I thought you just said, "We're not a-going anywhere."
Yosemite Sam: What?
Lola Bunny: You said, (imitates Yosemite Sam) "You're not a-going anywhere!" So, do you want us to go anywhere or not to go anywhere?
Oh! Then I mean, go anywhere!
And by anywhere,
I mean my truck.
My Lord, I've known you all of two seconds and it feels like you've been bugging me my whole life.
Imagine how I feel.
Is that you on those mud flaps?
It was a side business.
I took a bath on those things.
You want a set?
I'm good.
Get in!
Man: (on radio) What is the nature of your emergency?
I gots the two most wanted rabbits in the country and I wants my 500 grand.
What's your location?
Times Square, right in front of the bank I was going to rob. Forget that last part.
That's an impressive response time.
Elmer Fudd: Hand over the wabbits.
Hand over the money.
You'll get your reward when we have the suspects in custody.
Suspects?
What are we suspected of?
We're not a "we".
I don't know what you're involved in, but I haven't done anything.
Nice try, government man. I wants my money first.
You don't know what you're dealing with.
You'll get your reward.
I promise.
Oh, like the IRS promised not to garnish my wages?
They a-garnished 'em.
Now give me my 500 Gs.
Forget about the money.
What she's got is the most valuable thing on the planet.
Oh, that's very flattering.
Yosemite Sam: Most valuable thing on the planet? Then the price just went up. I wants a zillion dollars. And I wants it now or I'm a-going to shoot.
Bugs and Lola: What!
It's just a water pistol.
But I'm a-feeling boxed in. And when I'm boxed in, I gots to shoot my way out. Yee-haw! Yee-haw!
Hmm, guns really do have a way of escalating the situation.
Hello.
It's me, you seem to have left your purse here when I fired you.
Oh, thank goodness. Giovanni, listen to me. I did it. (stammers) I created my perfume and it is perfect.
I'm trying to get it to Paris but everyone's after me.
I mean, I always knew the cosmetics industry was cutthroat, but I thought that was just an expression. Whoever it is, they're willing to kill me for it.
Lola, no one's trying to kill you for your fragrance.
Oh, really?
Call the House of Mouffette. Tell them Lola Bunny has their next big fragrance and she is on her way.
Is this the House of Mouffette?
I'm calling to let you know that your next big fragrance is on its way.
Who created it?
That would be me. Giovanni Jones.
Now I just need to find Lola.
Come on!
You sure you don't have to make another phone call?
Whoa!
What, are you crazy?
Uh, trust me, okay?
I know my way around the New York City sewage system.
I know I'm going to regret asking this, but why?
Okay, well, about a year ago, I read on the Internet, 10 surprising foods that will supercharge your day, and one of them was hot dogs. So, every day on my way to work, I would stop at the same hot dog vendor and get a hot dog.
But then one day I read on the Internet, 10 unsurprising foods no one should be eating and hot dogs were number one.
Well, obviously, I couldn't keep eating hot dogs, but I still had to walk past the hot dog vendor to get to work.
I just couldn't face him. His sad little hot-dog-vendor face.
But that was the only way to get to work or so I thought.
So you took the sewer to work?
Mmm-hmm. No fuss, no muss.
Well, actually a lot of muss, tons of muss.
Okay, we're going to have to get down on our bellies for this part.
(chuckles) No, no, no. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's really going on.
I told you.
They want my perfume.
It's going to be the most popular fragrance in the world.
It will be everywhere. 
And that's all that matters.
I don't even care about the money.
You can have it.
I told you, I don't want your money.
Are you sure? You'd be able to buy that building and tear it down and go back to living in that little hole and being alone for the rest of your life.
Isn't that what you want?
Yes, but...
Then, come on!
Lola, listen to me.
Whoops!
Lola, those were the Feds back there!
The Feds don't want your perfume.
You're obviously mixed up in something that you don't understand.
But whatever it is, it's big.
Bugs, I told you, the cosmetics industry is a billion-dollar industry.
(groans)
How am I going to get that perfume?
She could be anywhere.
Bugs Bunny: I promise you, this has nothing to do with the cosmetics industry.
No one, and I mean no one is trying to steal your perfume and take it to Paris.
Giovanni Jones: I'm off to Paris.
My perfume!
Gi... Giovanni's got my perfume!
We've got to stop him.
No way, I'm done.
Look, you're on your own.
(stutters) Hey, come on, come on.
(stutters) Green means go.
Oh. (chuckles)
I'd rather take my chances with the FBI than follow you from one mess to another.
Well, I have to get my perfume back.
That is one nutty rabbit.
Whoa!
You're not going to go after her.
Oh, brother.
Taxi!
Follow that van.
Whoa, man,
I don't give people rides.
What are you talking about?
This is a taxi.
Yeah, but it's for my transportation needs only.
How do you make money?
My salary.
Taxi drivers don't make a salary.
You only make money by giving people rides.
Oh, that's why I'm broke.
All right, where to?
Follow that van.
Daffy Duck: So, where are you from?
Bugs Bunny: Are you crazy?
Daffy Duck: Legally, no. There's not a word for my condition. Coming up on your left, you'll notice the famed Statue of Liberty.
That's the Empire State Building.
Daffy Duck: Well, it has many nicknames. Then right up here on our right, you're going to get a glimpse of the majestic St. Louis Arches.
There's just the one and it's in St. Louis.
See, this is why I don't give rides.
That'll be $7,000.
What? You never even turned the meter on!
I don't know how to work that.
I do it all in my head.
Wait here.
Where are you going?
To see if they have a bathroom. I'm on this crazy Internet hot dog diet.
(groans) I'm just a little burbly.
She says she doesn't have it. She says someone named Giovanni has it and he's on his way to Paris.
Eliminate her?
Lola Bunny: Hmm?
Oh, well I didn't know we'd be eliminating people, but, uh, that's fine.
Okay, I understand, but maybe I should be paid a little more than we agreed on because eliminating people is definitely a very illegal activity and I'm not very...
Oh, okay. Okay, so my life would be in jeopardy and you'll have me eliminated.
I understand.
Well, in that case, I think we can stick with the original deal.
Hello, hello?
Hmm, didn't even say goodbye.
All right, eliminate her.
I'm just curious, um...
How much are you guys getting paid for this?
Oh, you don't want to tell me, I just… I just want to make sure we're all getting the same amount.
Fine, don't tell me, but all I know is I'm not getting paid enough to watch someone get smelted in the smelter.
Now let's get ourselves to Paris and find this Giovanni.
Over there.
A bathroom?
Bugs bunny: Shut off
the machine!
Hmm.
How's that?
That's not it.
How about now?
Nope.
How's this?
Not great.
Oh, I bet it's this one.
Doesn't one of them say
"On/Off"?
Yeah! 
Well, could you press that one?
Ah!
Oh, Bugs, I just knew you'd save me.
Maybe not as much as I knew
I was going to get smelted, but I pretty much kinda sort of really was hoping you were going to save me.
And you did.
You mean, we...
Daffy Duck.
Sorry about the wet hand, just washed 'em.
Found the bathroom.
Surprisingly nice.
Come on, we have to get to the airport and find Giovanni before they do.
An airport run?
This guy already owes me $7,000.
Yosemite Sam: Now wait a doggone second. You're telling me that not only do I get no reward, I'm a-getting charged with attempted bank robbery?
Be quiet!
Uh, yes, General. I'm afraid
we lost the wabbits.
First off, why is attempted bank robbery illegal?
If I'd a-just attempted it, it means I didn't get it done.
Do you see me sitting on piles of money from the bank I robbed?
No! Because I didn't rob it.
I was just attempting it. 
And you're the only reason them rabbits got away.
I'm well aware this is a matter of national security.
Hey, government man.
Yes, sir.
We're looking everywhere, sir.
Baldy!
Coming up on your left, you'll notice the Washington monument.
That's in Washington.
Is that that little hillbilly leprechaun that tried to kidnap us?
Huh?
Step on it!
Okey-dokey, but it's gonna cost you extra.
What about the airport?
Right now we got bigger fish to fry.
Uh, speaking of fish...
Uh, if you look to your right, you'll see the famed Fisherman's Wharf.
There's Old Faithful.
Hmm, look at that, the Space Needle.
Daffy Duck: Well, look at that.
(chuckles) Remember the Alamo.
Huh?
It's easier this way.
Nope. Harder.
Come on, we can lose them in here.
Oh, great idea.
Why are you coming?
Well, it's not every day a person gets to see the Grand Canyon.
This is Central Park.
I thought that was in Michigan.
Bugs!
This way.
Climb in.
Aw, so romantic.
I didn't know you thought of me in that way.
I mean I'm not going to lie, there's obviously some chemistry here and you are easy on the eyes.
Sorry, Doc, but we got to get to the airport.
Oh, right, yeah, airport.
Let me ask you something.
These ducks, they just live here, rent free?
Meals, everything taken care of?
Hmm-hmm.
Interesting.
Unbelievable.
Never got my one phone call.
Who would I call?
I don't have anyone to call.
But that's not the point.
Point is, you get a phone call.
Well, well, well.
Finally, these little dolls hands is good for something.
Bugs Bunny: Are you kidding?
Oh, brother.
There he is!
One ticket to Paris, please.
Come on. 
What do you think you're doing?
Duh, we have to get on that flight to Paris!
Paris, eh?
We're wanted criminals.
We try and buy a ticket, they'll arrest us.
Well, then what are we supposed to do?
Hmm. I think I've got an idea.
Yosemite Sam: One ticket to Paris. Down here.
Oh, I'm sorry. That will be $2,165.38.
Yosemite Sam: I don't want to buy the plane, I just want a ride on it.
Darn, I regret not robbing that bank.
How am I going to get on that plane without a ticket?
Ugh, that's the last time I take the Van Wyck.
Okay, you two get us tickets to Paris,
I'm going to pop into the duty-free shop.
What? I need some bronzing powder.
Whoa!
Can someone tip me over, please?
Anyone?
Someone? Anyone?
I know you can see me. Hello!
Bugs Bunny: (over intercom) Welcome to Flight 418, nonstop to Paris. Our flight time is approximately seven hours and 16 minutes. Dinner will be served shortly. So sit back, relax and enjoy your flight.
Lola Bunny: Okay, you know there are male flight attendants.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, but I like the height the heels give me.
How are we going to get the perfume?
At some point he's got to go to the bathroom.
We'll get it then.
Well, what if he never uses the bathroom?
It's a seven hour flight.
Maybe we need a little insurance.
Here you go, one jumbo oat bran muffin with a side of dried prunes. A couple of boxes of raisins, some assorted melon, seven or eight fiber wafers and a large cup of black coffee. Can I get you anything else?
Giovanni Jones: Uh, I thought I ordered the chicken.
We're all out of the chicken.
I predict a bathroom break in five, four, three, two, a one.
Ah, he took the perfume.
Relax, we'll think of something.
Excuse me, is the bathroom occupied?
Oh, the one in the back is definitely occupied.
Oh, no, help yourself.
Bugs, that's the turtle,
the one that tried to smelt me!
We got to get that perfume from Giovanni before he does.
Thank you.
I shouldn't, but do you have any more peanuts?
Ah, it's just so frustrating.
It's right there.
Ah, I've got it.
I'll take this fork and jab it into his thigh while you take that scalding coffee and just, just pour it right in his face!
What, you want to do the fork?
Just sit down.
Excuse me, sir, but we're about to experience some turbulence ahead, so I'm going to need to collect any loose items you might have.
Okay, and what about your pockets?
What!
Oh, I'm going to need you to empty your pockets, so nothing jabs you with all the turbulence.
It's an FAA regulation.
You'll get it back.
Buckle up.
You got it?
I got it.
Oh!
I also got a ton of duty-free stuff from that turtle.
Oh, that's some really good bronzer.
Excuse me, ladies.
(they both gasp)
Shouldn't you two be awake?
Yeah, but shouldn't you be flying the plane?
Look, I don't want to alarm you, but we just got word that Interpol will be meeting us at the runway when we land.
And no one is to deplane until they come aboard.
Apparently we have two wanted fugitives on our flight.
Any questions?
I have one.
Who do you think built
Stonehenge? I think aliens.
(laughs nervously)
We don't have any questions.
Hmph.
We got to hide. Follow me.
We'll stay down here and sneak out with the bags.
Yosemite Sam: You ain't a-gonna sneak nowhere. You're going to give me that thing everyone's after you for, but I don't know what it is.
You want this?
Well, guess what, little man, you're gonna have to fight me for it.
Yosemite Sam: I ain't afraid to hit a girl.
Lola Bunny: Neither am I.
Oh!
Yee-haw!
No!
No!
No!
Gotcha! Oh, that was close.
Thought I was in real trouble there, for a second.
Grab on to me!
What are you doing?
Bugs, those are other people's things.
Maybe cab drivers don't make a lot of money, but that doesn't mean you can steal other people's clothes.
You don't even wear pants.
Oh!
Incredible!
Oh, come on.
I was just going on instinct.
Anyone would have done the same thing.
Well, not you, this blouse.
So, how do I look?
Excuse me, but have you seen
those two flight attendants?
Keep it moving.
But they have something of mine.
Well, that's the last of them.
No sign of the suspects.
That's impossible.
Search it again.
Lola Bunny: I'm just saying, it would have been nice if you had parachuted us to a resort or a hotel. I mean there's tons of them in France.
Bugs Bunny: Quiet!
Lola Bunny: What?
Bugs Bunny: I don't think we're alone.
Lola Bunny: O-M-G! We're saved!
Bugs Bunny: We're surrounded by sharks!
Those are dolphins. And fortunately for us, I speak dolphin. (imitates dolphin) I just told them to go get help. Get a nice yacht, a big one with a Jacuzzi.
A shark swims between the two.
Lola Bunny: Man, these are some dumb dolphins.
Bugs Bunny: You're crazy, you know that. I should've never picked you up that day. I was perfectly content living my life all on my own and now I'm going to be eaten by a fish with a lunatic by my side!
Lola Bunny: Told you. Thanks, dolphins. Sorry for calling you dumb. Oh, I mean… (imitates dolphin)
Giovanni Jones: (on phone) Uh, yeah, yeah, yes, this is Giovanni Jones. I have an appointment to see Mr. Mouffette, this afternoon. But there's been a slight complication and, uh, I might need a little more time.
Cecil Turtle: Hang up. (Giovanni hangs up)
I believe you have something we want.
Tosh Gopher: How positively fortuitous!
Here you are trying to get to Paris.
And we're on our way to Paris. (they both giggle)
Now, enough chit chat.
I want to see that perfume we've been hearing so much about.
Now don't judge it by the bottle. It's all I had.
But I just know that Mr. Mouffette will have a million wonderful ideas.
I mean, I don't even have a name yet.
What about "Lola"?
It has a certain ring to it.
Oh, no.
I couldn't name it after myself.
Well, why ever not?
You created it.
It's your fragrance.
Come on, give us a spritz.
Ah! My heavens! 
My heavens, is right.
Oh, this scent is out of this world.
And so are you.
What? You've disappeared!
Bugs Bunny: That's why everyone wants this. You invented invisibility! (Lola sighs sadly) Invisibility, do you have any idea what this means?
Lola Bunny: Yes, it means my perfume is a disaster.
Bugs Bunny: What are you talking about? 
Lola Bunny: A fragrance is supposed to make you stand out, not disappear.
Bugs Bunny: Forget the fragrance. You've invented the most powerful thing, maybe in the history of the world.
Mac Gopher: I am ever so sorry and I hate to be a bother, but there is still that little matter of… (clears throat) My friend having vanished! 
Tosh Gopher: What on earth is everyone talking about?
Mac Gopher: Where are you, Tosh?
Tosh Gopher: I'm right here.
Mac Gopher: Where?
Bugs Bunny: And now we know water washes it off.
Whatever has gotten into you?
You were invisible.
Oh, here we go again.
This is precisely what our therapist was talking about.
I'm always invisible to you.
I beg your pardon, no.
Remember Keith said, "No one is always anything."
Oh, fine. I am usually invisible to you.
Why, because I ignored your advice about my mother?
Cut the cord, Mac.
I told you, I'm going to stop sending her money.
Yes, but you say that every month.
I have to do it on my terms and on my timetable.
Cut the cord, Mac.
Mac Gopher: I am working with Keith on this.
Tosh Gopher: You lie to my face. 
Mac Gopher: What're you talking about?
Tosh Gopher: You said you've not been in contact and you've been in contact!
How do you know that? (gasps)
Have you looked at my phone?
Oh, don't you turn this around on me.
The woman said she hated me.
Hated!
Those are just words!
Words are weapons, Mac.
Cut the cord.
What's up, Doc?
Hmm?
I told you I'm not a doctor.
I don't know what I am anymore.
Well, you're about to become the most famous person in the world.
Think of all the possibilities this offers.
Whenever you want you can go totally unnoticed.
It's the ultimate in being left alone.
Invisibility is a dream come true.
Maybe that's your dream.
It's not mine.
Maybe it's time you had a new dream.
Look at that.
The most romantic city in the world.
And thanks to your invention, it can all be yours.
One night. What do you say?
I don't have anything to wear.
You do realize we'll be invisible.
Ooh! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Mac and Tosh: Makeover!
There's nothing quite as sweet as a woman's inner beauty
A sparkle from within is a lady's call of duty
Your brains, your class, your winning smile
These things cannot be bought
But how to wear a killer dress can certainly be taught
"F"
Can you feel it?
"A"
All right now
"B"
Bust it out
"U"
You know it
"L"
You love it
"O"
Oh, my
"U"
You following this?
"S"
I said
I'm so fabulous
You're so fabulous
We're so fabulous
We're so fabulous
Girl
Girl, you're fabulous
No time to waste, it's getting late.
You've got to look your best.
A flawless look from head to toe
To stand out from the rest.
A gathered waist, a mermaid hem, a bustier to die.
But girl, you know
there's no such thing
As over-accessorize
"F"
Oh, boy.
Can you feel it?
"A"
All right now
"B"
Bust it out
"U"
You know it
"L"
You love it
"O"
Oh, my
"U"
You following this?
"S"
I said
I'm so fabulous
You're so fabulous
We're so fabulous
We're so fabulous
Rhinestones, crystals, gold lame
Who says you can't wear fur?
But when in doubt, a kitten heel will always make you purr
A pouty lip, a contoured cheek, a smoky eye's a plus.
Extend your lash then arch your brow.
And you look fabulous.
"F"
Can you feel it?
"A"
"A"
All right now
"B"
Bust it out
"U"
You know it
"L"
"L"
You love it
"O"
Oh, my
"U"
"U"
You following this?
"S"
"S"
I said
I'm so fabulous
She's so fabulous
We're so fabulous
We're so fabulous
Girl, you're fabulous!
Lola Bunny: Well, how do I look?
Beautiful.
Seems a shame to do this, but...
Have fun!
Don't do anything we wouldn't do.
Well, that's not much, now is it? (they both laugh)
Oh, you do need to cut that cord though.
I know.
Bugs Bunny: You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Lola Bunny: What are you talking about? I'm invisible. You can't see me at all.
Bugs Bunny: I see you.
Elmer Fudd: You two, freeze, it's over! Now, give me the bottle.
Tosh Gopher: Sorry.
Mac Gopher: They had guns.
Bugs Bunny: Why should you guys have it? It's hers! She invented it.
Elmer Fudd: It's too powerful a weapon. It can't end up in the wrong hands. Now give us the bottle or we'll shoot.
Cecil Turtle: I'm afraid the only shooting around here is going to be done by us.
Elmer Fudd: Who are you?
Cecil Turtle: Let's just say I'm working for someone who wants that more than you. You have two options. Hand over the bottle or I shoot you. Or is that one option? Hand over the bottle or I shoot you. Oh, I guess that's one option. Looks like you only have one option.
Bugs Bunny: Really? What about this option?
Cecil Turtle: Oh!
Elmer Fudd: Don't do it!
Giovanni Jones: Oh!
Lola Bunny: No!
Yosemite Sam: (sniffs) Huh?
French Woman: Oh! Fifi!
Yosemite Sam: I got it! I finally got that thing that I don't know what it is that everybody wants that's worth more money than I'd know what to do with.
[Everybody else glares at Sam.]
Yosemite Sam: Oh, boy.
[They all fight for the bottle until they are suddenly beamed up into Mars. There, Lola’s bottle bounces over to the feet of Marvin the Martian.]
Marvin the Martian: If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
Cecil Turtle: I was just about to get that for you.
Marvin snaps his fingers and Cecil’s goons remove their masks to reveal themselves as Instant Martians.
Cecil Turtle: You're Martians, too? Oh, I bet you are getting paid more than me.
Elmer Fudd: You're a Martian?
Marvin the Martian: Not just any Martian. Marvin the Martian.
Bugs Bunny: What do you want with invisibility?
Marvin the Martian: It's quite simple really. The earth obstructs my view of Venus. So, I'm going to make it invisible.
Lola Bunny: What? But if everything was invisible wouldn't there be mass confusion? I mean, cars would crash into each other, planes would collide, people would die!
Marvin the Martian: I know, it would be a lot easier just to blow it up. But I seem to have misplaced the Illudium Q-36 Space Modulator. So, Plan B.
Cecil Turtle: I didn't know you were going to make the whole world invisible. I mean, that's got to be as illegal a thing to do as a person can think of. (then) I should be getting a ton more money. (the others glare at him) What?
Marvin the Martian: Oh, goody. It really does work. (sniffs) But first I need to get rid of that putrid scent.
Lola Bunny: Putrid! (to Bugs) Putrid means bad, right? (Bugs nods and Lola frowns)
Marvin the Martian: Now, where is that separator? I always misplace the separator.
Ah-ha! Oh, goody. Now I have one super concentrated bottle of invisibility and one bottle of, whatever you call this.
Bugs Bunny: It's called Lola. And that's the wrong one.
Marvin the Martian: What are you talking about, foolish Earth creature?
Bugs Bunny: This is the one you want. It's the original.
Marvin the Martian: It is?
Bugs Bunny: No harm done. Okey doke.
Lola Bunny: I'll just take this one and give you this one.
Bugs Bunny: No, no, no, not that one.
Lola Bunny: All right, here we go.
Bugs Bunny: This one. No, that one.
Lola Bunny: I'll take that.
Bugs Bunny: I'll take this one.
Lola Bunny: That's right, that one.
Bugs Bunny: Here we go.
Lola Bunny: Well, that's right.
Marvin the Martian: (dizzy) Oh! And there you are, sir.
Bugs Bunny: And remember the Acme Company guarantees complete customer satisfaction.
Marvin the Martian: Well, thank you. You don't see that type of personalized service very often these days. Hey, this isn't… (to his Instant Martians) Get them!
Lola Bunny: Whoa!
Bugs Bunny: Oh!
All: Whoa! Oh!
Marvin the Martian: Ah-ha!
Marvin the Martian: Stop right there, Earth creatures! 
The Instant Martians take both of their bottles.
Marvin the Martian: Lock them in the Captivator.
Cecil Turtle: What?
Marvin the Martian: The Captivator. The place where you hold someone captive. It's... Hmm, where is it? I could have sworn it was right over there. Oh, forget it. Everyone stand over there and if you move again I'll vaporize you.
Cecil Turtle: (Marvin’s gun nudges him) Huh!
Marvin the Martian: You too.
Cecil Turtle: What? I thought we had a deal. Oh, I should have listened to my mother. She always said, "Never trust a Martian."
Marvin the Martian: I'll deal with you later. And now it's time to say goodbye to your precious Earth.
Bugs Bunny: Uh, hey, Doc.
Marvin the Martian: Mmm-hmm?
Bugs Bunny: If you're not going to do anything with this bottle of perfume over here, would you mind if I gave it to the girl, seeing as how it was her lifelong dream and all.
Marvin the Martian: Do what you want, because soon I will be placing you all in the Eliminator, which is right over there. Huh?! Oh, you've got to be kidding me. How do you lose an Eliminator? Oh, goody. It's ready. What happened?
Bugs Bunny: Oh, were you wanting something to disappear?
Marvin the Martian: Oh! Shoot them! Oh!
Bugs Bunny: I'll take those.
Cecil Turtle: This way!
Marvin the Martian: I am so angry.
Lola Bunny: You switched the bottles?
Bugs Bunny: Ain't I a stinker? Whoa, what's this? "Illudium Q-36 Space Modulator."
Cecil Turtle: Hey!
Bugs Bunny: Hey, Marvin!
Marvin the Martian: Mmm-hmm?
Bugs Bunny: Catch. 
Marvin the Martian: Oh, why, thank you. I've been looking for that.
[The modulator explodes, blowing up Mars as the Martian Maggot flies away. Marvin is seen hanging onto the last bit of the planet.]
Marvin the Martian: I hate Earthlings.
French Woman: Fifi, I was so worried about you. (Sam runs away) Fifi, come back. (goes after him) Fifi!
Giovanni Jones: (gasping) Oh! Where's the bottle?
Bugs Bunny: In there.
Elmer Fudd: Well, it's probably for the best. I don't think the world is quite ready for invisibility.
Cecil Turtle: Well, it looks like you guys got this under control, so I should probably be on my way.
Elmer Fudd: Really? You're a turtle. I'm going to catch you.
Cecil Turtle: Oh.
Giovanni Jones: Oh, Lola, can you ever forgive me?
Lola Bunny: Of course, I forgive you.
Giovanni Jones: Oh, thank you. Hug?
Lola Bunny: Don’t push it. (sniffs) Do you smell that?
Bugs Bunny: (sniffs) I guess your dream came true. You brought your fragrance to the whole world after all.
Lola Bunny: I'm sorry your dream didn't.
Bugs Bunny: What was my dream?
Lola Bunny: Getting to be all alone. 
Bugs Bunny: Maybe it's time I had a new dream.
Speedy Gonzales: Lola!
Lola Bunny: Speedy? What are you doing here? 
Speedy Gonzales: I'm getting my morning croissant. What are you doing here? You don't pay rent, but you can afford to take a romantic trip to Paris with your boyfriend? Aye, ya, ya. I'm going to Switzerland for some hot chocolate.
Giovanni Jones: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great privilege to introduce to you the Head of the House of Mouffette, Monsieur Le Pew.
[Pepe is seen chatting to a perfume model.]
Pepe le Pew: Oh, my little bottle of love.
Both: Oh!
Pepe le Pew: Excusez-moi. My audience, she awaits. (to the crowd) Bonjour, mes amis.
Before I unveil our latest fragrance, I wish to say a few words. One year ago, for a brief moment, the most unforgettable scent covered the world and I feared that we would never smell something that beautiful again. But I was wrong. After all, this scent was created by the same woman. I give you "Lola!"
Lola Bunny: What is the word, Doctor? (Bugs rolls his eyes) Oh, what, I did it wrong? Well, I'm sorry.
Bugs Bunny: How was your day?
Lola Bunny: Busy, just the way I like it. How was yours?
Bugs Bunny: Not busy, just the way I like it.
Lola Bunny: So, what'd you want to do tonight? (clicks tongue)
Bugs Bunny: I thought we could go to the game.
Lola Bunny: But it's the playoffs. It's sold out.
Bugs Bunny: Eh, we'll get in. Trust me.
Lola Bunny: How? (Bugs gets out Lola’s invisible perfume) Huh! Is that what I think it is? You've had it this whole time? Have you been using it?
Bugs Bunny: No. Well, maybe one time. A couple of times. Yeah, I use it a lot.
Daffy Duck: Hey, kid! Go get me a corn dog, will you?
Daffy Duck: What's your name? (the duck quacks at him) That's a stupid name.
Porky Pig: Th-th-th-That's all, folks!
Daffy Duck: Interesting.
[Porky angrily whacks Daffy with a frying pan. Roll credits.]
Category:Transcripts
Category:Warner Bros. Transcripts
Category:Direct-to-video Transcripts
Category:Looney Tunes Transcripts