Double Cup (Transcript)

PG Tipps:Greetings, brothers and sisters of the resistance. This is your brethren PG Tipps broadcasting live into the minds and hearts of Jah Warriors. And I know it's hard to free up and own our vibes when we live in a world run by President Whitewall and his little evil minion General Rubbish. But that is why my brethren, Major Lazer, is going to host a party so live it's gonna Free the Universe!
President Whitewall: General Rubbish.
General Rubbish: Yes, President Whitewall?
President Whitewall: The resistance is getting too powerful. My daughter would rather go to their freedom party than hang out with me, her own father. Can you believe this sh**?
That is humiliating.
Yeah, no kidding, dumbass.
Please, tell me you've got this under control?
Yes, I put my best villain on it, Double Cup. He'll use his patented cough syrup technology to slow down the resistance once and for all. Slow down, you say? [Doorbell rings] Hmm? Rubbish, hang on a sec. Hey, Penny! Your stupid friends are here! You're gonna be late for school, come on! Hurry up. Penny! Listen, Rubbish, are you sure we can trust Double Cup? Yes, he'll do anything for money. Excellent. Sounds like my kind of guy. Tonight the resistance will party... to death. [Gasps] I better tell Major Lazer about this. [Electronic music playing] Did you hear Splurt soda's gonna be sponsoring Major Lazer's Free the Universe party tomorrow? I sure did. Splurt truly is the soda of the people. Best job ever. Ugh! [Laughs] Well, well, well... look what we have here. A whole new civilization to take over. Double Cup's in the building, bitches. Bring in the promethazine, fellas. Bring it in nice and slow. What else can I love more than a thunderstorm full of purple rain? [Laughing] [Rap music plays] ♪ purple stuff, purple stuff ♪ [Rap music continues] Pour it in nice and drippity droppity. [Laughing] [Beeping] Talk to me, General Rubbish. Is it done, Double Cup? You're damn straight, we did it. I'm gonna need my stacks, ASAP. I thought you liked everything slow? Yeah, I like my ladies slow, and I like to be sharp head to toe. But when it comes to that cash, Double Cup needs to be paid double fast. Slipslurp. I've got you now, Major Lazer. [Saw whirrs] [Laughing maniacally] [Air horn sounds] [Electronic music playing]
Yo, Major Lazer. What's good, Old Rasta? The delivery man is here with the Splurt for tonight's party. Cool, man. Put it in the back. Yeah, man. Major Lazer, we need to talk. Penny, what are you doing out of school? You know how Major Lazer feel about education. It's important. Look, I overheard my dad talking to General Rubbish. He said they found a way to slow down the resistance. "To death." [Laughing] You're naive, little girl. They'll never slow us down. When people of a free mind party together, the universe itself will be free. Mm-Hmm. Yeah. That's exactly it. Rubbish said that his plan had something to do with the party. [Music slows] What's wrong with Old Rasta? Whoa. Check this out, Major Lazer. The Splurt is purple! Let's go to Blkmrkt's lab and have him run some tests. This is what Digimo acts like after a sip of normal Splurt. Now check out Digimo's reaction to the purple Splurt. He's all screwed up and chopped, man. Cough syrup. Must be the work of Double Cup. Which means... Double Cup's gonna poison all the Splurt at tonight's Free the Universe party! If Double Cup could add something to the soda that slows you down, then there must be something we can add that speeds you up. If only there was some kind of a drink that gave you energy. Like an energy drink! Naw, man! That's crazy. No, it's not. To make an energy drink we only need one thing. A bull. But not just any bull. A red bull. A red bull who will take us up to the top of the highest mountain in Jamaica where there grows a rare and ancient plant that the locals call white girl. From there we fly to Houston. And save the universe. There it is... the Splurt factory! Double Cup has the place surrounded! Blkmrkt, you take out the security system. Penny, you handle the guards. I'll take care of Double Cup. ♪ Sip, slurp sip, slurp ♪ ♪ keep on it ♪ ♪ I sip so much codeine I'm about to fall asleep ♪ ♪ fall asleep ♪ ♪ sip, slurp sip, slurp ♪ ♪ keep on it ♪ ♪ I sip so much codeine I'm about to fall asleep ♪ ♪ fall asleep ♪ ♪ sip, slurp sip, slurp ♪ ♪ keep on it ♪ ♪ I sip so much codeine I'm about to fall asleep ♪ ♪ fall asleep ♪ ♪ sip, slurp sip, slurp ♪ ♪ keep on it ♪ ♪ I sip so much codeine I'm about to fall asleep ♪ ♪ fall asleep ♪ ♪ sip, slurp sip, slurp ♪ ♪ keep on it keep on it ♪ ♪ I sip so much codeine I'm about to fall asleep ♪ ♪ fall asleep ♪ ♪ sip, slurp sip, slurp ♪ ♪ keep on it keep on it ♪ ♪ I sip so much codeine I'm about to fall asleep ♪ ♪ fall asleep ♪ ♪ sip, slurp ♪ Me? Uh, some seafood and uh, lobster... broiled, not fried... And some soup, some soups, crackers... uh... hold on, I'll call you back. Double Cup. Well, it's been mighty long time, as they say, Mr. Major Lazer. Now, you see this 200 mile acre gallon of purple Splurt behind me? Once I get this into the civilian hands, they'll all be slowed down. Matter of fact, they'll be so slowed down, they won't be moving for forever. There's just one problem. Oh yeah? And what might that be? Me. Major Lazer. [Grunting] ♪ Double Cup ♪ ♪ I got two cups fill them, fill them up fill them up ♪ ♪ two gallons ♪ ♪ purple, purple... ♪ Oh no! Not my purple rain! I'm so dehydrated! Double Cup, why you behave so stupid? Mr. Major Lazer, before I go down that long, dusty, purple trail, into the southern smokes, I need one last favor for you. I just need some of them drippity drops as I go on my journey. Just a couple of them ol'... Goodbye, old friend. Bottoms up. PG Tipps: Some people think the world moves too fast. They think we should all slow down, ya know. Then there's those who just go with the flow. Good in all kind of weather. Like my brethren Major Lazer. [Reggae music playing] This is your brethren PG Tipps saying, until next time, peace, love, unity, respect. Turn up.