A level comedy

a level comedy is the sixth episode of Season Four of CrazySponge Died: The Series.
==Transcript==
(CrazySponge is watching Saturday Night Live on Disney+ on his computer)
CrazySponge: Damn it’s a miracle I even got this thing turned on. Last time I tried turning my computer on I got my dick stuck in my asshole.
(Flashback… actually never mind)
Elon Musk Wario: WAHHHH! I LOVE CHILD SLAVERY!
CrazySponge: Me too, Elon Musk, me too.
Random comedian: And then I said, you just cannot unfuck the Christmas turkey!
(Obnoxiously loud laugh track)
CrazySponge: Meh, I can do better than that.
Random comedian: What do you call Z level politics? Joe Biden!
(Another loud laugh track)
CrazySponge: Come the fuck on, he’s already done that joke before! Ugh, I guess if you want things to get better, you have to do them yourself.
(He gets up from the couch and stands up triumphantly)
CrazySponge: I will become a stand-up comedian!
(Cut to an auditions room)
Old lady who had too many cigarettes: Next.
CrazySponge: Oh god it’s my turn now.
Old lady who had too many cigarettes: What’s your name, young man? Is it… Aidan Lastname?
CrazySponge: Yes, but my stage name is CrazySponge.
Old lady who had too many cigarettes: Fascinating. Just, uh… do something more fascinating than that, LazySponge.
CrazySponge: I AM NOT LAZY!
Hoopla’s Fantastic Beach: Why must you neglect me, father?
CrazySponge: What the fuck I didn’t know spin-offs could talk.
HFB: Yes, it is I, your magnum opus. You have put Fortnite 2 2 over me, your pride and joy.
Fortnite 2 2: Haha I love kids. (eats the kid that just auditioned for stand-up comedy)
Old lady who had too many cigarettes: Can cigarettes cause hallucinations or is this really happening?
CrazySponge: Don’t take drugs, kids.
Old lady who had too many cigarettes: This really is happening. I’m out.
(The old lady who had too many cigarettes spontaneously dies from a heart attack)
CrazySponge: Imagine being mortal, fucking c-
(A sandbag falls onto CrazySponge, and he gets up from underneath it)
CrazySponge: Nice try, sandbag. Or should I say, sandf-(dolphin chirp)
Alt: Ooh, I love the sound of slurs in the evening!
CrazySponge: Where the fuck did you come from, you Nazi?
Alt: DO NOT CALL ME A NAZI! I AM JUST AN ANARCHO PRIMITIVISM KINDA GUY!
CrazySponge: You say Anarcho Primitivism, I say Nazi.
Alt: I’ll have you know that I’m trying to prove all of SBFW wrong by being funny. I’m tired of being clowned on by those stupid snowflake libtards!
CrazySponge: There’s a stand-up comedy jr’s if you want to try to be funny.
Alt: Nice try, but I’m not ten anymore. I’m…
(One whole minute of counting later…)
Alt: Thirteen years old!
CrazySponge: Wow, somehow you’re even younger than I am.
Alt: Shut up, GayzySponge.
CrazySponge: What kind of insult even is that?
(A old man in a yellow shirt and beige khakis walks into the room, quietly shutting the door behind him)
Yellow shirt guy: Hello kiddies! I’m here to replace that old lady who just died two minutes ago!
CrazySponge: Cool I don’t care. Now can you watch me try to be funny?
Yellow shirt guy: Sure, but just remember, I’m enjoying this no matter what!
CrazySponge: That’s reassuring. Well then… here goes… HOOPLA! HOOPLA! HOOPLA HOOPLA HOOPLA! HOOOOOOOOPLA!
(cricket silence)
CrazySponge: Huh. Well that didn’t work. How about this? POOPLA! POOPLA! POOPY POOPY POOPLA!
(silence)
CrazySponge: HOOP DA WOOP
(more silence)
CrazySponge: Okay, I have one more trick up my sleeve. But this is my last resort, and if you guys don’t laugh then none of you are comedy critics.
(CrazySponge takes a long, deep breath. His deep breath takes so long that his face starts turning purple. Eventually, he drops dead onto the floor)
Yellow shirt guy: Aw rats, he was a good specimen too!
(The yellow shirt guy takes a quick look at Alt)
Alt: Why are you looking at me! No. No. NO! NOOOOOOO! I’M NOT GAY! AHHHHH!
CrazySponge’s ghost: You fucking cuckhead, that was my line!
(end)
Category:2022
Category:CrazySponge Died: The Series
Category:Zoltan40
Category:FireMatch
Category:Episodes written by FireMatch
Category:2022 Episodes
Category:2022 Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Transcripts
Category:2020s