2015.02.28 - Amongst Her Favorites

There are few things more annoying than listening to someone have a conversation with their Bluetooth headset. This alone makes Tony one of the world's most obnoxious men. But when you're as busy as he is, multitasking is an unavoidable fact of life. Which is why he's walking, making a conference call, carrying a basket, and writing a memo for the receptionist.
"I know, right? It's a total dick move. But SHIELD is responsible for like, half of our sales so if they want a new Helicarrier by October... well no, I'm not going to give them THAT one. I've got plans for it."
The receptionist looks at him quizzically as he approaches her desk and slides her the note. If the look on her face is any indication, she's used to such shenanigans from Mister Stark at this point, and has learned to find them charming.
"Listen, I've got to go. Tell Bumbary I said hello, will you? Thanks, you guys are the best."
As the call ends, he smiles at the receptionist. "Those guys... they're the best. It's a shame I've got to buy their company from under them and take over all of their patents, but... is Pepper in?" Tony never had much of a gift for casually changing the topic...
"You know what? Don't buzz her, I like to barge in unannounced. It makes me feel important." So that is exactly what he proceeds to do, throwing the door to her office open with dramatic flourish. "Everybody put your pants back on. I brought fruit."
Dramatic flourish, is that what that's called? Pepper looks toward the door to her office when Tony barges in, currently seated at her desk and in the middle of a phone conference by the sounds of someone's voice stuttering to a stop. Must be new to working with Stark. 
"I'm sorry, everyone," Pepper offers placatingly, "I have something I need to deal with. We were about wrapped up, yes? Dianne, please send me a copy of the minutes, and thank you all." She reaches to tap at the surface of her desk to end the call and THEN offers Tony a smile. "You seem chipper today. Anything I should be worried about?"
"Honestly? I have no idea. I pay you to worry about things, so that I have time to drive a 1961 Ferrari down to the beach and back on a weekday. By the way, the beach is really lame this time of year. I should have thought about that before I spent six hours in the car."
He strides in with the confidence of someone who owns the entire building. Whatever business she has will keep until tomorrow, surely? Forgetting for a moment that 'tomorrow' is the weekend...
He places the basket on her desk, with a warm, if somewhat distracted smile. "But, since you were cooped up in an office all day, I thought I'd bring the beach to you. I mean, not the actual beach, or even anything beach-related. But I picked up some kumquats on the way in. Those are your favorite, right?"
It's not like Pepper's never worked through a weekend before and if she does work tomorrow it almost certainly won't be the last time she does so. She moves to stand and look at the basket and its contents, glad that Tony at least didn't bring her strawberries this time. 
"Well, they're amongst my favorites." Six hours in the car... Pepper's eyes look at Tony with that hint of shrewdness that likely means he's either done something wrong or is about to do something wrong. "When did you eat last?"
"Hm?" The question seems to actually confuse Tony a bit. He looks away, as if he's trying to count. "Oh, I'm good. I had some scotch at the beach, and this great new energy drink on the way back in. By the way, do some research, and see if you can find out who makes 'Booty Sweat.' I think we ought to buy their company and take it global."
His movements are a bit erratic, and his eyes seem dialated when he looks back at Pepper. "I had three of them. Delicious. And only like... 70 calories per can."
Pepper's eyes take in all the little details, and she opts for subtlety. This time. "I'll put it on my to-do list. If you're not hungry, do you mind if I eat lunch anyway?" It IS about lunch time, after all. She claims a kumquat from the basket before returning to her desk, giving Tony the chance to meander about to his heart's content. As long as he doesn't break a teapot or pluck one of her potted plants bald, there's not really much of anything he can harm in here. ...wait. Since when did she has to mentally consider whether or not a room is Tony-proof?
Upon reaching her desk, Pepper taps the surface awake and quickly types something in before reaching over to her phone to notify the receptionist, "Cricket, could you please clear my schedule for the rest of the afternoon?" After receiving a response to the affirmative, she ends the call again. 
Standing again, she goes over to the credenza and gets out a chilled glass bottle of water and offers it to Tony. "What prompted you to go to the beach, other than getting to drive your car?"
Apparently he's thirstier than he realized, because when he tilts the glass of water back he doesn't set it back down until it's empty. Or maybe it's just a remnant of an old habit for finishing his drinks quickly. Either way, he looks a bit more refreshed almost immediately.
"Do I need any other reason? I just needed to get away for a bit, drive something with a stick shift and... well... okay.... I also might have been scoping out a potential location to camp out for Spring Break this year. I know, I know, I said I wanted to go to Ibiza, but there's a lot to be said for shopping locally."
"But then I got there and realized it's cold. So... now I'm thinking Brazil. Nowhere specific, just the whole country of Brazil. By the way, what are you doing March 7th until... maybe the 14th?"
Pepper just looks at Tony amusedly for a moment. "Somehow I get the feeling I'll be working remotely. From somewhere in Brazil." She's long since learned that Tony does not take 'no' well. Especially from her. "Though I really would prefer to not venture too far away in case something happens. Can we maybe compromise? Say, somewhere in the Florida Keys?"
"What? You'd rather be around drunk rednecks than..." Tony cuts himself off. It's not like he'll be staying anywhere that 'the poor' are likely to be able to ruin his fun, but choice of eye candy is always important.
"Fine. The Keys it is... as long as I've got mojitos and you in a bikini I guess I can make the best of it. I'll just need you to find a couple of restaurants there that don't include bacon grease in every recipe. I'm trying to stay slender."
Pepper Potts takes the glass away from Tony and refills it to see if he downs the contents again. Probably not a good idea considering food will be here soon, but she suspects those questionable energy drinks are going to make matters worse in short order. "I'm pretty sure I can find something that'll suffice. And if nothing else, we can just hire a cook for the week." It's not like that's never been done before either. "And I don't think bikinis were part of the agreement. Unless you're willing to wear one too. "
"Oh, right. That's probably a terrible idea with your complexion. I might have to ask the Fantastic Four to let you borrow one of Johnny Storm's suits. Can't have you 'flaming on' as soon as the sun touches you." 
Tony does, in fact, drink from the glass again. But this time he only finishes about half of it. He seems in a pretty good-natured mood, though it's impossible to tell how much of it is the energy drinks fault, and how much is the scotch's. But he's usually pretty effervescent when he's around her regardless of which chemicals may or may not be in his bloodstream.
Pepper Potts takes Tony by one elbow and steers him to sit at the small table just as one of the lobby security guards arrives with a take out order too large to be just for Pepper. She accepts the food with a word of thanks and brings it to the table to unpack in front of Tony. If it's this easy to get him to eat something, she'll consider it a win. Of course, if this backfires horrendously, there's the washroom just over there.
Tony is so busy talking a mile a minute that he doesn't seem to much care where he's being led. However, he doesn't seem to be particularly interested in food at the minute, even turning up his nose at the prospect. "I'm really not that hungry, but I'll admit to a certain amount of like... erotic fascination with watching you eat, so I guess I can just..." He pauses, as the scent of the food starts to fill his nostrils.
"Actually, that smells amazing. Maybe I'll have just a bit."
Pepper Potts manages to NOT smile that 'cat that ate the canary' smile as she pushes one of the takeout containers -- the one she asked JARVIS to add specifically for Tony -- toward him along with a real silverware fork. "So what did you have in mind to do on this vacation, other than ogle your COO?" She opens her takeout container to reveal a salad. A SALAD. But at least there's still slightly steaming grilled chicken resting on top of that salad.
In between mouthfuls of his gourmet burger (with organic peanut butter and bananas, and free-range bacon), Tony contributes to the conversation. "Have you ever thought about how funny the acronym of your job title looks?" Large bite. Followed by a lot of chewing. With his mouth still partially full: "'oo eben came up with dose anyway?" Swallow. "I think we ought to change it to something a bit cooler. Like... Ginja Ninja... or... maybe... CEO?"
"That sounds a bit less pervy, right? 'Ogling my CEO?'
Pepper Potts points a forkful of salad at Tony. "No. I've already done my stint as CEO, remember? I'd rather NOT have to do it again any time soon. You know I don't really care what my job title is, anyway." And then she eats that forkful of salad. Honestly, she's trying to not make too big of a deal out of the 'ogling' thing, because she doesn't want make it seem like it's uncomfortable for her even though it is. Because he's her BOSS. Remember that, Pepper. The boss.
"Aww... come on..." Tony looks across the table, doing his best impersonation of a sad puppy. He's actually pretty good at it, despite being in his forties, so he must have been amazing at it when he was a kid. "You were so much better at it than I am. You went to meetings, and remembered peoples' names... I accidentally fired somebody in accounting today when I meant to fire somebody in HR. I'm not going to admit it though, or people will think I don't know what I'm doing." It's impossible to tell whether or not he's joking.
Another large bite of burger, it's nearly gone at this point. "Actually. No. Don't answer right away. Let me convince you properly, with alcohol and fresh seafood. After a week of vacation you'll be begging me for more responsibility."
Pepper Potts can't help but be amused by that. She is SO immune to sad puppy eyes. A ten week old beagle would have no hope of weaseling anything out of her. "Maybe to get you to stop looking at me like I just stomped on your puppy dog." She's nearly gone through her entire salad as well. "So, do you want this vacation to be just you and me? That seems a little ... sedate for your usual."
Tony can't help but look a bit taken aback. Almost as if he's been busted. So... he backpedals a bit. "Oh no. Nonono... That WOULD be inappropriate, wouldn't it? No... we'll do it up right. It might be tough to get everyone from this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue at such short notice, but I'll put my feelers out, see what I can accomplish."
He takes the last bite of his burger, and immediately reaches for something to wash it down with. "Maybe we'll invite some of the less-boring Avengers to come along? Maybe we can get Hulk to try on a Speedo?"
Pepper Potts pauses at that mental image. Yikes. And she really doesn't think Banner is the Speedo type. "Do you want me to send out some invitations? I'm willing to bet that Clint and Steve would be willing to accompany us. And Janet too, most likely."
Almost under his breath, Tony mumbles "I'd rather just invite Janet..." But he seems resigned to the idea that he can't keep all the boring people away if he wants to keep the vacation from seeming too much like a romantic getaway. Which would be awkward.
"Fine. Invite all of them. But Cap's not allowed to wear anything revealing. I'm not going to have my body unfavorably compared to a guy in his nineties on MY vacation."
Pepper Potts smiles and shakes her head slightly as she closes her salad container. "I'll see if I can catch Carol as well, and maybe Barbara will be willing to take some time away. Would that make you feel better?"
 
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