A Problem with Disney Music

Sounds travels really well over water.
There's no way the 'Dome and Disney didn't have problems.
The Kaidanovskys won't take this one lying down, especially because they tried that and they couldn't sleep for the racket.
==Chapter 1==
Two triplets and two Slavs lay on the Drivesuit room floor, cursing their lives and wishing they didn't have bodies.
"Who," wheezes a triplet.
"Yea?" asks the other triplet.
"N' you," says the first triplet.
"S'rry."
The first triplet waves it off. "Thought this... s'good idea. /Horizon Braves suck.”
"Someone," says Tall Kaidanovsky, "who clearly underestimated little Chinese boys."
"'s that a com'liment?" asks the first triplet, lifting his head.
"Only because Sasha is tired.”
"We’re not little," rasps Hu.
"To Sasha, triplets are. No meat, only bones." She pinches--moves her arm only a centimeter. "How is triplet still able to move?"
"He's got the energy," mumbles Hu.
"Which one's Sasha?" asks the first triplet.
Taller Kaidanovsky grunts.
"No idea," says Tall Kaidanovsky. "Does not matter."
"'will when you smack your nose," mumbles Hu.
"Will worry when moving, but for now--" Tall Kaidanovsky shakes (rocks, really) her head. "--no noses in danger."
"Why aren't we moving again?" asks the other triplet.
Faintly, oh so faintly, the music started.
They groan collectively.
~--a small world af-ter all It's--~
"Why did you have to say anything?" sighs Hu, too tired for a wail.
Tall Kaidanovsky reaches over her head and jabs.
"Fuck! Ow! Wrong triplet!" yelps Hu, clutching his eyes.
"I still felt it!"
Tall Kaidanovksy goes a little over to left and strikes.
"Fuck! Ow! Are you deaf?"
"Damn, he was right," mutters Hu.
Metal groans.
~ world af-ter all--~
"Fuck Cheung!" the other triplet hollers, succeeding in rolling over and burying his head in Hu's side. "Shut the door!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Cheung whispers.
Metal clangs.
~ --af-ter all It's a-- ~
"I talked to LOCCENT- they're sending a message over," he reports. "And I brought water."
"I love you," says Jin.
"I love you too." Cheung squeezes his hand and addresses the Kaidanovskys. "Water?"
"What a good co-pilot," says Tall Kaidanovsky.
Cheung lands a waterbottle between the couple's heads.
"Is it quiet? Good Heavens, am I actually not hearing anything?" squeaks Jin.
"Sasha is," growls Taller Kaidanovsky.
Cheung covers Jin's mouth. "And don’t bother licking me."
They wait in perfect silence. Not creaks of machinery, whistles of air, or–Heaven forbid– strains of 'music' disturb the stillness.
"You're shitting me," breathes Hu.
With renewed vigor, the five of them shoot to their feet, burst through the door, and sprint to their respective rooms.
==Chapter 2==
Maybe an hour, hour and a half later, Sasha realizes they are no longer asleep.
«m̥m̩?» grunts Aleksis. 
«Whoever woke us up is dead,» Sasha promises.
,
People scatter from the Kaidanovsky warpath until one brave, quivering LOCCENT officer stands tall in an intersection.
"I will solve all your problems in two minutes," they promise.
"Sasha will be well rested and in good humour?" Lieutenant Kaidanovskaya demands.
"Maybe not all your problems," admits the LOCCENT officer, scurrying to block Lieutenant Kaidanovsky, "but, if you just listen, in one minute ...."
Faintly, but most definitely, the tin whistle hammering of manufactured jingles slowly become the soothing ballads of guitar riffs and percussion lines.
"If you would like to follow me," says the Officer, gesturing them down a corridor.
They emerge onto an upper balcony of the Shatterdome.
The Officer points up behind them at the lip of roof envelope where a number of speakers stand in proud line. "In fact," they yell, "it should be Disney-proof enough to rest out here!"
The Lieutenants consider this.
Finally, Lieutenant Kaidanovskaya says, "Sasha is pleased. Officer shall remain intact today."
The LOCCENT officer bows and flees to the storerooms to check on the rodent problem. The situation warranted thanking his ancestors with a sacrifice more substantial than paper and they would prefer not to hang for a cat.
==Chapter 3==
After the soon-to-sacrifice LOCCENT officer leaves, the Kaidanovskys doze the sleep of the too-exhausted-to-rest in the lounge chairs some underling so thoughtfully provided. The sun warms their faces, the sea cools their skin, and the breeze soothes their nerves.
Alas, humidity, Hong Kong, and springtime got together and the temperature shoots into the low 30s.
""~flurries through the air into the ground / My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around~""
Sasha growls. "It is too hot to be talking of winter." She found the handset beside her chair, just where she'd left it, and radio'd in. "LOCCENT, they're winning again."
""One moment please, Lieutenant Kaidanovskaya, we're rerouting power now."" 
Moments later, C-Rock drowns out the birds, the sea, and most importantly, that damned cesspool of ear rot from across the bay.
Aleksis rumbles contently and squeezes her hand, filling their link with pride and love.
Sasha feels the same things right back.
""--mall world--""
"LOCCENT!"
""Sorry, sorry, we thought is might happen. We're going up to 'eleven' now.""
"What?"
""It's a call out to--you know what, never mind. Full volume in there, two, one--""
Whatever shit comes blaring from the speakers squeaks and chirps and sounds like small rodents on processed sugar but the songs vary.
The songs vary, and so the song master lives another day.
""SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS supercalifra--""
«ENOUGH! » roars Aleksis.
Where Sasha is Aleksis and Aleksis is Sasha, a plan forms. A solution, even.
""SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOOOOOUS!!!!""
A solution to Disney Music.
==The Plan: Part One==
The Kaidanovskys enact the first part of their plan to guarantee a day of rest.
.
The LOCCENT officer from before had found and killed a mouse, and now their ancestors show their satisfaction by bestowing them with courage. (The officer didn't know that many details, dear reader, but I felt it an important detail to share.)
"Officer!" shouts Lieutenant Kaidanovskaya.
They quail, but felt slightly less like his dismemberment was imminent.
"Sasha wants all speakers in Cherno's bay, now.”
"But--"
"But? Does Officer not understand? Does Officer need translator? Go."
The LOCCENT officer scrambles away to inform the proper authorities.
==The Plan: Part Two==
The Kaidanovskys assemble the next set of pieces for their plan.
.
The Kaidanovskys stride down the hall and spin open the triplets' door, only to find the room empty.
They stand there for a moment, tired minds frantically trying to pool processing power, until that small coffee girl–she who had tea ready for them upon their arrival in Hong Kong–stops behind them. 
She glances between the two, peers into the deserted quarters, tries to speak, fails, and takes a deep breath. "Are you looking for the Weis?" she asks finally.
Taller Kaidanvosky flinches.
"Sasha seeks them, yes."
"They're in my room," replies the small coffee girl. "I gave them the key because it's farther from outside.”
"Where is this?"
"E-Block, three sixteen."
"Good. Many thanks."
"Don't break the door please!" she calls. 
.
Taller Kaidanovsky didn't kick down the door--the three Weis had oh-so-kindly left it unlocked.
Two brothers flinch in the light and one goes so far as to bury himself under his brother.
""Go away!""
No one slept in the other bed except a pile of clothes.
"Where is the third?" Tall Kaidanovsky demands.
They draw away from the sound.
"Twins! Where is your triplet?"
One of them raises his head. "Cheung, where the fuck is Jin?"
The other brother mumbles something and waves vaguely.
'Apparently Hu' peers over the edge and awkwardly pushes open one of the storage drawers under the bed.
There, with a pillow folded around his ears, dozes the missing triplet.
"Good, Sasha wants all triplets."
"I heard that wrong," croaks 'Apparently Cheung'.
Tall Kaidanovsky leers. "Not while triplets are sleepy. Come." She shoves a pair of legs off the bed and a body follows with a squawk.
""Fuck, dude!"" yelps Jin.
"Triplets have work to do."
"We were sleeping!"
"As was Sasha. Triplets and Sasha sleep better when work is done."
In a flash, Jin extricates himself from the drawer and his brother (still not sure which one).
This seems to wake up the other two as well.
"Where do we sign up?"
==Putting it Together==
Back in the hangar, techs scramble across Cherno Alpha, bolting speakers into place on scavenged Horizon Brave armour.
«Please, please tell me this is what you had in mind,» begs the Chief.
«Even better,» rumbles Taller Sasha.
«Oh, glory of God! I love you both.»
Tall Sasha gives them a slow nod and the Chief scampers off.
"Are you doing what we think you're doing?" asks one of the triplets.
The other two eye the speakers.
"Do triplets think Sasha brings the fight to Disney? If yes, triplets have correct thinking. If not--"
"Triplets need head examined," finishes Taller Sasha.
"Everything seems to be under control," says the second triplet.
"Can't really see a spot for three people," adds the third.
Tall Sasha smiles her shark smile.
"Is because angle too sharp," says Taller Sasha.
As one, the triplets turn back and look up at Cherno Alpha.
And up.
And up.
==Procedure==
~I must admit―~
As Cherno Alpha steps off Scramble Alley, the civilians on shore and the PPDC employees clinging to the Shatterdome raise their customary cheer.
~―Are amusing~
Today, the usual collection of bird watchers, journalists, and photographers has swollen with children, dock workers, and members of the public drawn by the cacophony.
Cheung, Jin, and Hu, tethered atop Cherno's hood with a tower of speakers, wave back gleefully and the crowd roars.
""Triplets! Hold. Tight."" snaps Tall Sasha. 
"We will," says Cheung. 
Cherno Alpha plows through the surf.
~Under your hat~
"Aw, c'mon!" scoffs Hu.
"It's a fuel reserve!" hollers Jin.
~Now here's your chance~ 
«As if we need a 'chance',»» sneers Tall Sasha. 
~To get the best of me~ 
«They're the ones who need a chance,»» grumbles Taller Sasha. 
~Hope your hand is hot~ 
Cherno Alpha lurches over a ship.
~C'mon clown~
«If the triplets were jockeying, yes,»» chuckles Taller Sasha.
~Let's see what you've got~ 
Tall Sasha laughs. 
The track whines. 
Cherno Alpha takes―twists over a tanker, sways, avoids a tall ship, finally finds a patch of open water. 
"Anyone else feeling a little queasy?" asks Jin.
~Folk cower~
""Do not get sick on Cherno.""
~At the power~
"Too late for that," Hu croaks.
~In my pinky~ 
«They dare even consider vomiting on Cherno?»» snarls Tall Sasha.
~My thumb is number one~
«They will regret the thought,»» growls Taller Sasha. 
~On every list~ 
""Triplets will scrub Cherno with toothbrush!"" yells Tall Sasha.
~But if you're not convinced~ 
"Oooo, that's what you meant!" laughs Jin.
~That I'm invincible~ 
"We thought you meant not to desecrate your 'oh-so-smooth' walking with getting sea sick." 
~Put me to the test~ 
Hu wonders for a lovely moment what it might be like not to have such a stupid brother.
Cheung wonders for a tense moment how he could keep his insides off Cherno's outside.
~I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest~
Cherno Alpha stops―
"But seriously, we're fi―"
The track whines again.
―and ... 'shivers'.
"―iiiiiine!!!"
~You know your hocus-pocus / Isn't tough enough~
"Oh, hell," sighs Hu. "Cheung, are you okay?"
~And your mumbo-jumbo / Doesn't measure up~
""I am really, really glad these aren't 'between the legs' harnesses."" 
~Let me pontificate~
"Hold tight, bro, we'll have you up in a sec!" 
~Upon your sorry state~
"Cherno, give us a minute," says Hu. 
A skip in the track.
A Sasha snorts and Cherno Alpha takes a step. 
~You think your cat's a meanie~
"Fuuucck!"
"Shut up, Jin!" snaps Cheung. 
~But your tiger's tame~
"GET THEM CHERNO!!" Jin screams. 
"NOT YET!" Hu yells. "Cheung, try not to swing so much."
~You've got a lot to learn~
"Try―are you insane? You try swinging down there."
""Jin! Shut! Up!": snaps Cheung. 
~About the―~ SQUAWK ""Warrior!"" WHINE ~―game~ 
Jin and Hu pull him back back on top. 
Cheung staggers, regains his balance, and stumbles to the far side of the speakers. 
~So for your education~ 
""A toothbrush, triplet!"" roars Tall Sasha. 
~I reiterate~ 
"He missed," reports Jin.
The track squeaks. 
""Triplets hold on this time, yes?"" 
~You can try to slam me~
""Any speakers get lost, triplets pay."" 
~With your harder stuff~ 
"That's our line!" hollers Jin. 
~But your double whammy~ 
"Oh no," moans Hu. 
~Isn't up to snuff~ 
Cherno Alpha slams its fists together, once, twice—
~I’ll set the record straight~ 
—and the capacitors roar angrily.
~You're simply out of date~
"They didn’t," breathes Jin. 
FFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNN
~You're only second rate~
They charge. 
.
The song I butchered (for good reason!) is "You're Only Second Rate" from "Aladdin II: The Return of Jafar", found by Googling 'Best taunting songs'.
Category:Ficlet
Category:Team Cherno Alpha
Category:Team Cherno Alpha (ficlet)
Category:Kaidanovskys are Rangers
Category:Wei triplets are Cadets
Category:Tang Min
Category:Tang Min (ficlet)
Category:The Kaidanovskys
Category:Kaidanovskys (ficlet)
Category:Wei triplets
Category:Wei triplets (ficlet)
Category:Cats of Lin (mention)
Category:Tag for the HK Cat Sanctuary & Pest Control
Category:HK Dome vs Disney