Transcripts 1999-03

Transcripts from March 1999 strips.
==March 1==
Panel 1White text on a blurry backdrop of Littlehampton (presumably).Overlay: Here in the corrupted heart of Littlehampton; home of cement, silly looking lighthouses and cheep knob jokes, a sinister figure plots the worlds downfall...Panel 2Extreme close-up of Norman with pupil-less evil eyes.Norman: IT'S COMPLETE!!Norman: The message will soon be shown...Panel 3Norman is silhouetted with lightning in the background, with only his pupil-less eyes and evil grin visible.AND CHAOS SHALL RAIN! HA! HA! HA!Panel 4Richard is holding a video recorder and examining it. He is wearing a dark grey sweater with a standard smiley face on it, except the smiley face has jagged teeth.Caption: Meanwhile...Richard: What's all this video equipment for Anne?Off-panel (Anne): It's my Dad's. He's really into amateur film directing.Panel 5Anne has entered the panel and is playing with Richard's ear as he looks over his shoulder at her.You know, I've had an idea. We could take that camera and a tripod upstairs to the bedroom and film ourselves...Panel 6Richard turns to face Anne, who looks slightly embarrassed.Caption: A VERY detailed description later.Anne: ...I'm sorry, I do sound...Richard: No I'll do it! I just thought we were out of Vaseline!
==March 8==
Panel 1Anne and Richard are relaxing. Anne is wearing a dressing gown while Richard is topless, but only visible from the neck and shoulders up.Richard: Al'right Anne? Whatcha doing?Anne: I'm editing the "home movie" we made.Panel 2The camera rotates slightly to reveal a small television and dual VHS deck to Anne's side.Richard: Oh (haha) THAT film. How did it turn out anyway?Anne: The picture is really good but the sound is patchy in parts.Panel 3Anne leans back into Richard, who is rubbing her cheek and side.Anne: Although it's not likely that we'd get an Oscar for the dialog...Richard: Right! We had our mouths bull half the time.Panel 4Bust shot of Al.Al: Ello, Alan here. I just had some space left so just to say it's my 20th birth-day March 11th so could you sign my guest book or draw me a pic huh?
==March 15==
Panel 1Richard and Anne are grinning, nose to nose and holding hands while interlacing their fingers. Richard is wearing a coat and Anne is wearing a sleeveless dress.Richard: Goodbye Anne and thank you for one hell of a week! And the video too!Anne: My pleasure! Maybe we can work on a sequel to that soon huh?Panel 2Norman is looking over his shoulder with a snarky grin.Caption: Later...Norman: Eye eye! Lover-boy is back. But I still don't get it...Panel 3Richard enters the panel and starts to remove his coat. He looks over his shoulder at Norman with a sly grin.Norman: She must be REALLY desperate to sleep with you!Richard: Just because you're jealous you have to have a dig!Panel 4Norman's expression turns to disgust. Richard has taken off his coat but has a shocked look.Norman: I am not jealous! I would never want to have sex with you! In fact I find the idea completely revolting!
==March 22==
Panel 1Richard is giving Kingston a smug grin. Kingston is sitting on the sofa but leaning back as if repulsed.Kingston: Oh no! It's the "I got some and I'm going to tell everyone about it" look.Panel 2Richard is facing the camera and pumping his fists in excitement, his tail bushy.Richard: It was brilliant Kingston! She just wanted me almost non-stop for a whole f****** week!Panel 3Richard turns to the side with the same expression, but his hands are off-panel.Richard: She couldn't get enough of me! YEAH! I feel good! I feel GREAT! I feel, I feel...Panel 4Richard suddenly has a lethargic expression, and the background resembles a blue-green haze.Richard: ...completely knackered!!! I have never felt so tied in my life! I - think - I'll - sleep - now...Panel 5Kingston is irritated, and a "Z" word balloon appears from just off-panel.Kingston: I realise that you've had very little sleep this last week, but if you don't stop cuddling my leg and calling me Anne you'll get relocated to the floor!
==March 29==
Panel 1Norman is carrying a VCR and a CRT computer monitor while looking over his shoulder in thought.Norman: Right, I've got the subliminal message that tells the watchers to obey me and submit to chaos and the crap ad of Kingston trying to drown himself in the water tank. I'll I need to do now is combine them and send the result off to be shown on TV.It should be easy to do with this equipment and this rather covenant diagram I made...Video 1 is the subliminal message, Video 2 is the ad and Video 3 is the finished result.Panel 2Norman's aforementioned diagram. VCR 1 feeds into the computer. The computer and VCR 2 feed into VCR 3. Norman's head appears in the dialogue balloon for space reasons.Norman: Using video editing equipment and software on the computer the message (vid 1) is copied semi-transparently over the ad (vid 2) and is then copied to the blank tape (vid 3) which will be my masterpiece!Panel 3Norman has a hand to his face as he looks up in thought.The computer needs a bit of time to work so I think I'll have a lie-down for a bit because I'm talking to myself again! Why do I do that?
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