A Crime to Dye for Dopey Dick/transcript

Previous Episode: Leni vs. Carol
Next Episode: Master Lox and the Beanstalk
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: July 1, 2023
Episode Copyrighted: 2023
This episode is rated TV-Y7, this is a 15 minute episode.
The episode opens in black and white with a book with the title on the cover as the book opens as Leni reads.
Leni Loud: *narrates* Welcome to the terrific, tumultuous tale of "A Crime to Dye for Dopey Dick"!
Screen fades to Squidward.
Leni Loud: *narrates* This is Squidward. Call him Fishmael. In his youth, he was an intrepid, fresh-faced journeyman, looking from town to town for any work he could find. Little did he know, I was about to step in some– *slips in some jellyfish jelly and shouts* Jellyfish jelly?
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Whoaaa! *slips into the Jelly Squirt In*
Screen cuts to Leni wearing detective clothes.
Leni Loud: *narrates* Well, there I am. It's just story of "A Crime to Dye for Dopey Dick".
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Leni, quick!
Leni Loud: *loses my balance and collapses*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *enters the Jelly Squirt In* Ashley! She dyed my clarinet!
Leni Loud: *gasps* Oh, no, not your clarinet! Wait, do I know your clarinet? I know Terry from the mall, but–
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *splashes water in Leni's face* Pull yourself together! Don't you understand? There has been a crime of fashion, and the culprit hit everyone in the Jelly Squirt In!
He hits His head gets caught between the saloon doors.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael) and Leni Loud: *grabs onto the counter*
There's a lookalike of Mr. Krabs with a parrot version of Plankton on his shoulder comes up at the counter.
Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the Jelly Squirt Inn. How can we help, me hearty?
Anchovy: *enters doors* Excuse me.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *screams*
As his head snaps back and hits the cash register. He pulls it back, and it's still squished, so he shakes his head to get it back to normal.
Mr. Krabs: *grunts*
Plankton (Parrot): *jumps off Mr. Krabs' shoulder and squawks, then grabs a purple glass* Have some jelly juice, lad?
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): No, thanks. I'm job hunting. Might you lubbers have employment for an able-legged young buck with *goes behind the register and operates it* cash register experience?
Mr. Krabs: *shuts the cash register on Fishmael's tentacles* No, no!
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *screams*
Leni Loud: *gasps* Fishmael!
Mr. Krabs: Nobody touches me money but me!
Plankton (Parrot): Buy some jelly, or get out! *points away and squawks*
Leni Loud: Here you go. *flips coin on Planky, crushing him*
Plankton (Parrot): Huh? Ow!
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael) and Leni Loud: *drinks the juice*
Everyone's laundry has been dyed orange.
Mr. Krabs: Ashley, look at those clothes! They're orange!
Plankton (Parrot): Me too! *squawks*
Lord Master Lox: We've got a dyeing clothes situation, but I know who did it.
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton (Parrot): *points at Ashley*
It shows that Ashley's on laundry duty. Everyone immediately turns on the orange-clad girl.
Ashley Roberts: But, guys, I didn't do anything. It wasn't me!
Mr. Krabs: SAID THE FELLOW IN THE ORANGE POLO. TAKE HER TO THE SLAMMER!
Plankton (Parrot): *squawks*
Lord Master Lox: *drags Ashley to jail*
Ashley Roberts: I'm innocent! Fishmael, Leni, save me! You gotta help me!
Leni Loud: Don't worry, Ashley. We're here to save you!
They hear someone whispering to them.
Patrick Star: *offscreen* Psst. Hey, come here. Hey, buddy.
Red Rectangle: *offscreen* Come over here.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael) and Leni Loud: *walks up to a table*
They are pulled under it by a Patrick, Red and Pink lookalike. Their heads hits the edge of the table, and they yelp. Red and Pink are wearing detective clothes. As people walk by.
Patrick Star: Shh. *whispers* We've heard tell that a boat called "Ye Olde Pineapple" is shipping out soon, and they need more hands. *shakes Fishmael's legs*
Red Rectangle: You've got plenty of hands. *squishes against him*
Pink Rectangle: I think we hear them cutting the ship right now. *huddles closer*
At the port, two anchovies cut off half of a giant pineapple. The half that falls has a sail hoisted.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *nervously* Uh, thanks, but I always get seasick. I wouldn't be caught dead on a ship. *crawls away*
Patrick Star: *seriously* I'm so sorry to hear that.
Red Rectangle: Yeah, me too.
Patrick Star: *taps Fishmael on the head with a club*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Ow!
Pink Rectangle: Shhh!
Leni Loud: *whispers* Quiet, Fishmael!
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *groans*
As Leni drags him away.
Leni Loud: *holds up Fishmael in a net*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Got one!
Inn patrons: *cheers*
Ye Olde Pineapple sets sail.
Leni Loud: *dumps Fishmael onto the boat*
The other crew members are anchovies.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *gasps and flops on the surface, then inhales* I've been Egads! I've been squid-napped!
Patrick Star: Yup.
Leni Loud: The captain has a special job just for you.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): For me?
Pink Rectangle: *happily* Yeah, for you.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *considers* Well, I do need a job. *shrugs* Ah, if I get seasick, I get seasick.
Leni Loud: Oh, don't worry. I'll show you the ropes.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *smiles, but frowns*
When Pat-Buck shows him a tangle of rope.
Patrick Star: There's the big rope, *shows a small rope* the little rope,
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *glances at the audience*
Patrick Star: *makes himself frown with the rope* the frowny rope, *smiles with the rope* the smiley rope, *takes out licorice rope* and the licorice rope! *slurps it* This one's mine!
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *shudders*
Patrick Star: *swallows licorice rope* Ahh.
Patrick Star, Red, Pink Rectangle and Leni Loud: *leans forward*
Patrick Star: Do you know how to tie a knot?
Patrick Star, Red, Pink Rectangle and Leni Loud: *leans in very close to Fishmael, who looks uncomfortable*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *nervously* No, but I'd love to learn.
Red Rectangle: We'll teach ya.
Time card reading "Later..." in grayscale background and yellow text.
Leni Loud: *narrates time card* Later...
Red Rectangle: *ties Fishmael's tentacles in a knot, tying him to a pole*
He plays the accordion and sings as the anchovies dance.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Typical.
Loud footsteps are heard, catching Fishmael's attention.
Red Rectangle: *stops playing and turns around*
The anchovies huddle together. A captain who looks like SpongeBob, with a spatula leg and a beard, steps on board. Fishmael gets nervous.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Avast ye. I be Captain Sponge-Hab. Argh! *my beard falls down*
He blushes and excuses himself.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Hmm? Oh. *chuckles nervously and puts my beard back on* We brought you all here for a special mission-- to hunt down the great white jellyfish, Dopey Dick.
Lincoln Loud: Yeah.
Yellow Rectangle: Guys, is there a jellyfish here?
Patrick Star, Red and Pink Rectangle: *gasps*
Anchovies: *worried* Meep, meep!
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *afraid* Was Dopey Dick the beast who took off thy leg, Captain?
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Naw. My leg is all squeezed into the handle. *laughs and pulls the spatula off my leg, showing it compressed, then puts it back in* I just love the sound my spatula makes. *jumps around on the deck as the spatula clanks*
Patrick Star, Red Rectangle, Lincoln Loud and Anchovies: *claps*
One anchovy nudges Fishmael, who starts laughing as well.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *hesitant laughter*
Leni Loud: Guys, it's Ashley. She's in the cage. I gotta talk to her.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay. *laughs, then looks serious*
Patrick Star, Red Rectangle, Lincoln Loud and Anchovies: *stops laughing and clapping*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *flings a wad of gum into the air with my spatula foot*
He chews it and blows a bubble, which takes the form of a jellyfish. The crewmates gasp as the shadow comes over them.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Dopey Dick is a great white jellyfish, lads.
Yellow Rectangle: And he's the size of a split-level condominium.
Anchovies: Meep.
Patrick Star: *gets impressed* All that jelly!
Lincoln Loud: *eats jelly* Tastes good, Pat-Buck!
Lana Loud: Yeah, I have detective clothes too!
Lola Loud: *offscreen* I have detective clothes! *walks to Lana*
Lana Loud: *angrily* No, I have detective clothes!
Lola Loud: *angrily* No, I have!
Lana and Lola Loud: *fights each other with fight cloud*
Pink Rectangle: *breaks Lana and Lola up* Guys, stop fighting! Look!
Anchovy: *imitates Pat-Buck, Red and Lincoln* Meep meep meep!
Anchovies: Meep meep meep!
Patrick Star, Red Rectangle, Lincoln Loud and Anchovies: Meep meep meep! Meep meep meep!
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Um, uh, meep meep?
The Dopey Dick gum bubble collides with a nail in the mast and explodes.
Patrick Star, Red Rectangle, Lincoln Loud and Anchovies: *runs away*
The jelly falls on Fishmael.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: So keep your eyes peeled for Dopey Dick.
The crewmates watch.
Dopey Dick: *jumps behind Sponge-Hab*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: And if ye spot him, just give me a holler.
The crewmates shout and point frantically.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *approves* Yes, just like that!
Dopey Dick: *jumps behind him again*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: That is exactly what you should do when you actually see him.
Anchovies: *runs up to Sponge-Hab, picks him up and turns him around.
He sees Dopey Dick jumping in the ocean and reacts with shock.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Huh? *angrily* Dopey Dick!
Dopey Dick and Leni Loud: *raises from water*
Dopey Dick: Doy, doy, doy, doy!
Leni Loud: *waves at Pat-Buck, Lincoln and Red* Hey guys!
Patrick Star, Red Rectangle and Lincoln Loud: *dopey* Doy, doy, doy.
Patrick Star: *points* Jellyfish be dumb.
Red Rectangle: Yeah.
Dopey Dick: *jumps away*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Chase that snow-hilled hump!
Anchovies: *panics and runs away*
Screen cuts to Leni in Krabs' ship.
Leni Loud: *narrates* I don't know why something fishy is going on here. *sees Ashley in Krabs' ship jail, then approaches her*
Ashley Roberts: Leni, I couldn't have turned everyone's clothes orange just like Lincoln's favorite color! They locked me in jail!
Leni Loud: It ain't looking good for you, girl, but it wasn't you who got the laundry. Now, walk me through your day.
Ashley Roberts: It started out great! At breakfast, Lincoln cracked a joke so funny, milk shot out of Lana's nose.
Start of flashback to breakfast.
Flashback Lincoln Loud: Baa-nana!
Flashback Lana Loud: *finds it so hilarious*
She snorts milk out of her nose.
Flashback Lincoln and Lana Loud: *shares a laugh over it*
Slide transition cuts to later in the day, where Lincoln is rummaging through the fridge.
Ashley Roberts: *narrates* Around 11:00, Lincoln decided to grab himself a light snack from the fridge.
Flashback Lincoln Loud: *grabs a meatball sub and prepares to eat it*
Slide transition cuts to Ashley in the basement in the jelly Squirt Inn.
Ashley Roberts: *narrates* Then at noon, I did the laundry. *empties the white load in the washer* After I threw in the white load, I got... distracted.
Lincoln's gut rumbles.
Flashback Lincoln Loud: I gotta throw up.
He frantically rushes upstairs.
Flashback Ashley Roberts: Lincoln, where are you going? Lincoln? *hears Lincoln vomiting*
Back to the present. Flashback ends.
Ashley Roberts: Let's just say that Lincoln's meatball subs aren't as light as he thought.
Leni Loud: *takes notes* Exactly how long were you upstairs?
Ashley Roberts: Between 12:00 to 12:30.
Leni Loud: Can you confirm your alibi?
Ashley Roberts: Not sure. This ship was kinda empty. Let me out of jail.
Leni Loud: *saves Ashley from jail* Ashley, you're free to go!
Ashley Roberts: Yeah, let's go sit on Dopey Dick.
Leni Loud: Hmm...
Screen cuts to Sponge-Hab eyes Fishmael still tied to the pole.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: You, in the smart wool cap. I have a special job for ye.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *nervously* Uh, I be ready. What is it?
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *walks away* Yellow?
Yellow Rectangle: *snaps my fingers*
Anchovies: *unties Fishmael*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Whoa. Oh!
Anchovies: *puts his head in a harpoon gun*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): This is the special job?
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *cheerfully* Uh-huh. You'll make a great sticky harpoon. *laughs* Fire!
Lincoln Loud: *fires the harpoon*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *screams*
As he sails through the air.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Okay, now I'm gonna throw up. *retches, then keeps screaming, then grabs onto Dopey Dick and gets electrocuted*
Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: *waves to Fishmael* Hey, Fishmael!
Yellow Rectangle: We got him! *ties knot to post*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *screams*
Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: Weee!
Dopey Dick: Doy, doy, doy, doy, doy, doy!
As Fishmael, Leni, Ashley and Dopey Dick are pulled, Ye Olde Pineapple goes with them.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): He's got us!
Ashley Roberts: Oh no!
Dopey Dick: *rides over a rock*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael), Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: Whoa!
Anchovies: *rides over the rock* Meep!
A map shows Dopey Dick's movement zigzagging around as everyone shouts.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Oh, please slow down, Dopey Dick! I don't have anything left to throw up! *gets an idea* Wait, I know how to soothe a savage beast! *takes a flute out of my pocket with my tongue, then plays it badly*
Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: *covers our ears*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants, Yellow, Red, Pink Rectangle, Lincoln, Lana, Lola Loud and Anchovies: *cover our ears* Ohh!
Patrick Star: Ahh! My ears are biting me! *rips them off and sighs in relief*
Dopey Dick: Hmm. Doy, doy, doy. *slows down and splashes around* Doy, doy, doy. Doy.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Argh! Dopey Dick cannot resist the music. *to crew* Quick, everyone!
Anchovies: *runs away*
Yellow Rectangle: Reel him in!
Anchovies: *meeps*
Anchovy: *throws a rope over the mast*
Ashley Roberts: Leni, you hold his arms, I hold your legs before they reel Dopey Dick in! We're gonna be safe!
Leni Loud: Okay! *holds Fishmael's arms*
Ashley Roberts: *holds Leni's legs*
Patrick Star, Red, Pink Rectangle, Lincoln, Lana, Lola Loud and Anchovies: *pulls*
Dopey Dick: *starts sliding backwards* Doy, doy, doy, doy, doy.
Dopey Dick is hoisted up.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *seriously* Now, me hearties, comes the best part of hunting down and catching a jellyfish.
Anchovy: Spreading the jelly?
Anchovies: *takes out toast*
Red Rectangle: *panting and holding a giant, empty jar of jelly* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: No, you sillies!
The anchovies, Lola, Lana, Lincoln, Pink, Red and Pat-Buck are disappointed.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Releasing the jellyfish!
Yellow Rectangle: Okay!
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *extends my spatula leg and pries Fishmael's suction cups off Dopey Dick*
Dopey Dick falls into the ocean.
Dopey Dick: Doy! *pats Sponge-Hab on the head*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs, then gets shocked*
Patrick Star: *throws jar overboard* Awww.
Lola Loud: *angrily* What do you mean, awww. Don't say "Awww".
Anchovies: Meeeep.
Lola Loud: *growls*
Lana Loud: Lola!
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *waves* Fly and be free, Dopey Dick!
Pink Rectangle: I'll never forget you, Dopey Dick!
Dopey Dick: *waves* Doy, doy! *jumps away* Doy. Doy. Doy doy doy.
Another ship catches Dopey Dick in its net.
Dopey Dick: Whoop! Doy... Doy...
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton (Parrot): *reels Dopey Dick in*
Lord Master Lox and Plankton (Parrot): *evil laughs*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *shouts* Ahoy, mateys! Nice catch! Now it's your turn to release him! *laughs*
Lord Master Lox: We got him now!
Plankton (Parrot): *scoffs* Yeah, we're not releasing bupkis! *squawks*
Mr. Krabs: *sarcastically, pets Planky* Oh, I'm sorry, Cap'n. I'm afraid we're just gonna keep Dopey Dick and sell his jelly for money!
Lord Master Lox: He's right. He's asking for money.
Plankton (Parrot): Yeah, money. *squawks*
Mr. Krabs: *laughs* Money, money, money, money, money, money, money!
Dopey Dick: *weaks* Doy, doy.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *gasps* How can he exploit such a rare and gentle creature? Dopey Dick is our friend. And if ye think you're just gonna swoop in here and put our friend in a cage, ye've got another thing coming! *pounds fist and raises it* Right, me loyal crew? Huh?
A splash is heard. The anchovies are meeping and paddling a smaller boat away.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Shiver me timbers! It's a reverse mutiny!
Ashley Roberts: They're aiming at us!
Leni Loud: Yeah!
Lord Master Lox: *holds match* Hey, Fake-Beard! Put this in your poop deck!
Plankton (Parrot): *squawks* Fire the cannon!
Lord Master Lox: *laughs evilly, lights match and fires cannon, then blows out the match*
Yellow Rectangle: *gasps and ducks under the cannonball* Phew!
The cannonball crashes into Pat-Buck's belly and falls on the ground.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *walks up to it* Ha, ha! Ye cannonball is a dud.
Mr. Krabs: Wait for it...
A black paper unfurls around the cannonball, revealing a cluster of nematodes.
Nematode: Hungry.
Nematodes: Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Nematodes! Ahh!
The nematodes eat the entire ship, leaving behind a single slice of pineapple, and jump into the ocean.
Anchovy: Wah, wah, waaah.
The anchovies are on Krabs' ship. They all laugh, along with Krabs, Master Lox and Planky, as their ship sails away.
Lincoln Loud: We've got to save Dopey Dick from them pilfering pirates!
Leni Loud: There's not enough space!
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): We're gonna need a bigger pineapple!
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Scupper that! Pat-Buck, follow those bilge rats!
Patrick Star: *salutes* Aye, aye, Captain Sponge-Hab! *coughs up a paddle and uses it to steer the ship*
It pans up to show the sun. It transitions into the moon. Everyone on Krabs' ship is asleep and snoring.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael), Yellow, Red, Pink Rectangle, Lincoln, Leni, Lana, Lola Loud and Ashley Roberts: *looks on-board to see Dopey Dick having his jelly harvested into jars*
Dopey Dick: *weakly* Doy. Doy, doy.
Yellow Rectangle: *worried* Dopey!
Patrick Star: Shh! *my stomach growls* Quiet, stomach! You'll wake everybody!
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Follow me, me hearties! *walks carefully past some sleeping anchovies*
Leni Loud: *sees Lynn*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael) and Ashley Roberts: *follows him*
Patrick Star: *surveys it*
It ends up stepping on every one as he tries to cross.
Anchovies: Meep. Meep. Meep.
Inside Krabs' ship, Luan is mixing something in the kitchen when Leni emerges from the sink.
Leni Loud: Luan.
Luan is so startled, she lets the bowl fly with the batter, then catches the bowl with the batter landing in it.
Leni Loud: Where were you between 12:00 and 12:30 today?
Luan Loud: Right here! I'm cooking something up for my new comedy act.
She's baking a pie in the oven.
Luan Loud: I'm calling it Pies and Dolls.
Leni Loud: Oh! *sniffs* Is that what smells so coconutty fresh?
Luan Loud: Wanna pie it? *slams a pie fresh out the oven in Leni's face and laughs*
Leni Loud: *gets the pie off my face* Can anyone confirm your story?
Luan Loud: Sure. Mr. C was baking with me.
Mr. Coconuts is playing poker.
Leni Loud: So, Mr. Coconuts. *takes a seat* I heard you were baking with Luan today.
Mr. Coconuts: *doesn't answer*
Leni Loud: You wanna play hardball, huh?
Mr. Coconuts: *collapses on the table*
Leni Loud: Why isn't he answering?
Luan Loud: *eyerolls in exasperation and goes to puppeteer Mr. Coconuts*
Mr. Coconuts: Yeah, I saw the dame cooking up new gags for our gig. They were sweet, real sweet.
Leni Loud: And you were there the whole time?
Mr. Coconuts: Most of it. Too much oven heat warps the wood, so I stepped outside for some air. Lynn saw me.
Leni Loud: Hmm... *looks at Lynn doing pushups*
Lynn Loud Jr.: Yeah, I saw Coconuts outside. *grunts* Me and the gals got a big game tonight at Hazeltucky and he was helping me count my warmup squats. *grunts once more* So, who dyed it red and yellow to make orange?
Leni Loud: *gasps* All the clothes dyed orange? It was him! Captain Krabs did it.
Slide transition cuts to Patrick walking quietly.
Patrick Star: *my stomach growls*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Huh? Huh? *puts hand on it* Shhh!
Pat-Buck's stomach: *bites Fishmael's hand*
He screams.
Ashley Roberts: *shushes him and whispers* Shhh! Quiet, you guys! Don't wake them up!
Patrick Star and Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *whispers* Sorry, Ashley!
Anchovy: *drowsy* Who's there? *touches mop* Oh, it's you, honey. *falls back asleep*
Patrick Star: *wipes sweat off forehead* That was close.
Pat-Buck's stomach: Shh!
Patrick Star: Sorry!
Dopey Dick: *weakly* Doy. Doy. Doy.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *approaches, excitedly* Doy, doy, doy! *grabs sucker* Sit tight, Dopey! We're gonna cut you loose! *removes the suction device*
Dopey Dick: Doy, doy! *pats him on the head and electrocutes him*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs*
Yellow Rectangle: *removes suction device*
Ashley Roberts: *removes suction device*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Not if he keeps doing that, we won't. *removes suction device*
Lola Loud: Good point, Fishmael. *removes suction device*
Dopey Dick: *happily* Doy!
Lincoln Loud: *unties Dopey Dick from the post* There you go! All free, Dopey!
Dopey Dick: Doy, doy! *jumps off the boat and waves at them* Doy, doy, doy, doy, doy, doy, doy, doy, doy. *jumps away*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Ain't jellyfishing wonderful?
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael), Yellow, Red, Pink Rectangle, Lincoln, Lana, Lola Loud and Ashley Roberts: *turns around to face Krabs, Master Lox, Planky and the anchovies*
Mr. Krabs: *threateningly* Somebody owes me 300 tons of jellyfish jelly.
Lord Master Lox: I wonder if *points* octopuses give jelly.
Plankton (Parrot): Yeah, jelly. *squawks*
Leni, Luan and Lynn Loud Jr.: *sees Krabs*
Leni Loud: There you are, Captain Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: *gasps* Guys!
Leni Loud: *pokes Krabs' nose* You dyed all the clothes orange, didn't you?!
Mr. Krabs: *laughs nervously* I did?! Why?!
Leni Loud: That's because you have an orange shirt on!
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, an orange shirt is fine to me.
Leni Loud: Hmm... *narrates* I don't know why it was Master Lox? Or Plankton?
Leni, Luan and Lynn Loud Jr.: *walks to Sponge-Hab, Pat-Buck, Fishmael, Yellow, Red, Pink, Lincoln, Lana, Lola and Ashley*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *whimpers*
Red Rectangle: *slides between my legs with a bucket* Do they?
Lola Loud: No!
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants (With pad of paper): *to Krabs* Kind sir, will ye take an IOU?
Mr. Krabs: *stretches Sponge-Hab's eye* I'll take an eye... or two! *snaps it back*
An anchovy wields a cutlass and advances on the crew.
Dopey Dick: *faintly* Doy, doy!
Anchovy: Meep?
Mr. Krabs: Do ye hear it, lads? Do ya? Dopey Dick's song! *points* We still have a chance to catch him! Everyone, beat to quarters!
Anchovies: *meeps*
Dopey Dick: *jumps over the ship*
He grabs Sponge-Hab, Pat-Buck, Fishmael, Yellow, Red, Pink, Lincoln, Leni, Luan, Lynn, Lana, Lola and Ashley.
Mr. Krabs and Lord Master Lox: *gasps*
Mr. Krabs: *growls, then runs up the crow's nest with a plunger harpoon gun and kicks out another anchovy who's already there*
Anchovy: Meeeep!
Lord Master Lox: Fire the harpoons!
Plankton (Parrot): *jumps on harpoon gun* Hardy har-poon, sucker!
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton (Parrot): *fires our harpoons to hit Dopey Dick*
Dopey Dick: *notices* Doy? *angrily* Doy! *swims after them*
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Dopey! No!
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton (Parrot): *screams*
Dopey Dick: *rams through the ship* Doy!
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton (Parrot): *falls off and into the ocean*
Anchovies are grabbing onto the wreckage.
Anchovies: *meeps*
Dopey Dick: *circles the wreckage*
Mr. Krabs: *notices something and gasps*
When Dopey surfaces, Krabs, Master Lox and Planky are tied to him.
Lord Master Lox: Cut us loose, you Dopey dunce!
Plankton (Parrot): Yeah, cut us loose! *squawks*
Mr. Krabs: For hate's sake, we spit our last breath at thee!
They spit, but it flies back in their faces.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *pants* Captain Sponge-Hab, Lincoln, I don't wanna work here anymore!
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star: *laughing* Woo-hoo!
Dopey Dick: Doy! *dives down* Doy! *jumps over the ship*
Anchovies: *panicked meeps*
Dopey Dick: *jumps into the wreckage and causes a whirlpool*
It sucks the anchovies and ship parts inside.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): *surfaces*
She is leaning over a plank of wood.
Leni Loud: *narrates* And that's how he became the sole survivor of the hunt for Dopey Dick.
Screen fades to him in the Jelly Squirt Inn. Captain SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow, Red, Pink, Lincoln, Leni, Luan, Lynn, Lana, Lola, Ashley and the inn patrons laugh at him.
Mr. Krabs: You weren't the sole survivor! We were all there!
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton (Parrot):*laughs*
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Well, I'm the hero! And I can end it any way I want! *storms out*
Luan Loud: Oh. Isn't it obvious?
Flashback to breakfast.
Luan Loud: *narrates* At breakfast this morning, you totally snagged my gag!
Flashback Luan Loud: Hey, guys! What's a sheep's favorite fruit?
Flashback Lincoln Loud: Baa-nana!
Flashback Lana Loud: *finds it so hilarious*
She snorts milk out of her nose and onto Luan and Mr. Coconuts's faces.
Flashback Lincoln and Lana Loud: *shares a laugh over it*
As Luan glares at them.
Mr. Coconuts: *narrates* And I had a soak in it!
Slide transition cuts to Lynn entering the kitchen to find Lincoln eating the meatball sub, much to her anger.
Lynn Loud Jr.: *narrates* And then later, you ate my spicy meatball sub, which I was saving for my pre-game protein boost!
Slide transition cuts to an angry Lynn storming upstairs to find Luan with milk still on her face.
Mr. Coconuts: *narrates* You stung us real good, kid, so we came up with a plan for revenge.
The three smirk at each other and join hands for their plan. Flashback ends.
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox, Plankton (Parrot) and Inn Patrons: Aww, Fishmael! *laughs*
Mr. Krabs: *puts glasses on counter* You're all buying another round of jelly juice!
Everyone cheers and laughs. Dopey Dick is behind a counter. He sprays jelly from his tentacles.
Captain SpongeBob SquarePants: Yay! Yay! Yay!
Ashley Roberts: Yay, jelly!
Anchovies: Meep, meep, meep!
The jelly pushes over an anchovies, Sponge-Hab, Pat-Buck, Yellow, Red, Pink, Lincoln, Leni, Luan, Lynn, Lana, Lola, Ashley and some anchovies, Krabs, Master Lox and Planky. Fishmael is outside the inn.
Squidward Tentacles (Fishmael): Those scurvy swine wouldn't know a good story if it bit them on the-- *screams and gets washed away by a stream of jelly*
Leni's arm closes the book.
Leni Loud: The end. It's my story. What do guys think?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Your story is great, Leni.
Patrick Star: Yeah, let's read it again.
Mr. Krabs: Leni, I'm sorry. I just wanted to get back at Ashley for framing her. I dyed everyone's clothes orange.
Lord Master Lox: Enough with the story.
Plankton: Yeah, take her to the slammer!
Leni Loud: Guys, it's just a story!
Squidward Tentacles: *angrily* A story?! What have you been reading?! I'm outta here! *storms out*
Mr. Krabs: We're detectives now!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox, Plankton, Yellow, Red, Pink, Blue Rectangle, Lincoln, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn Jr., Lana, Lola Loud and Ashley Roberts: Yay!
Leni Loud: *narrates* And we all have detective clothes on except for Squidward. Another day, another case closed. *to the viewers, continues to narrate* And that's the end of the episode of "A Crime to Dye for Dopey Dick". Another mystery solved by: Leni Loud, Detective.
Screen cuts to Squidward outside when it's raining, Mr. Grouse is spraying the windows with his hose.
Squidward Tentacles: Stop spraying the window with your garden hose, Grouse!
Mr. Grouse: *loses my balance and falls*
The hose sprays Squidward flinging him off.
Squidward Tentacles: *screams and gets flung off*
Screen cuts in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
Category:Transcripts
Category:The esa Episodes
Category:The esa Season 16 Transcripts