Adolf Hitler

Adolf Hitler was the Führer and Rapper Supreme of Germany, from 1921 to April 30, 1945. He was the inventor of Naziism because he was on drugs and hated Socialists a lot except for Iosef Stalin, another supreme guy who likes sending people to concentration camps, until Russia decided to defend itself against the Burgewehr. 
A very popular anti-Marxist in Nazi circles, many people followed his ways for a thousand years after his death in response to the influence of Marx, Gramsci, and Engels on the West. He became so popular that the average opinion of him during the time of the threat of the VHEMT was: "y'know, he kinda not that bad". During that time, Adolf Hitler's image became one of anti-Fascism and pro-human. Ironic. 
== Early Life ==
The first time Hitler was born was on April 20, 1889. He was born in Austria, but everyone at that time considered Austria to be a part of Germany, therefore, Austrians are Germans, to the dismay of the prouder Austrians. 
Hitler was exposed to rap music at an early age and wanted to be a rapper. His mother, who cared a whole awful lot about him, gave him whatever rap related stuff he wanted, like CDs and a microphone. His father didn't like that he wanted to be a rapper instead of a "real artist," a painter like him. Hitler's mother died from the Sigmar Khan virus, allowing his father to remove all of the rap stuff his mother gave to him and get him to become a painter.
"Screw that!" Hitler said at the suggestion of becoming a painter like his father, as he ran off to a community school for rapping. At that school, he learned the Ways of the Hippity Hoppity Skiboppity and the Ways of the Pth Chk Ch Ksh, which really expanded his knowledge on rapping and also beatboxing, he also learned the Ways of the Wub Wub Bwau Bwau as an extra-curricular activity. 
Though, despite learning the stuff about rapping, he failed at rapping good, which led to his failure of the class. This failure of his favorite thing led him to doing drugs like the Aryan Spirit, which made him susceptible to doing epic speeches. He did one of these Aryan Spirit speeches in the class of his rap teacher, and everyone around him was so amazed by it that the rap teacher suggested that he do public speaking, but Hitler declined because he hated school now. 
=== Adulterhood ===
Hitler was a really stupid guy during this time, he did a huge amount of drugs and did the Bier Hall Putsch, a failed coup of Germany. This time is where he got his giga hate of Communists.
==== Bier Hall Putsch ====
The Bier Hall Putsch was a failed attempt at a coup of Germany by Hitler and his druggy friends, most of whom were imaginary. They walked up to a beer hall in Germany, with no guns and decided to announce that this was a coup and everyone in the hall is marked for the dying. Hitler was arrested and sent to prison for being a retarded terrorist. Hitler just left the prison because the sentence for a retarded terrorist is only 5 weeks. But Hitler was special; he was released in a commune in the countryside after his sentence because Emperor Bismarck thought it would be funny. 
==== Why He Hates Commies ====
Hitler was sent to a commune of hippies who did more drugs than Hitler. They also believed in things like no government or leaders and equal pay (they were paid with food). Hitler was uncomfortable about the amount of drugs they did, it made him reduce his use of Aryan Spirit. This place is where Hitler made his second epic speech that would convince the commune to stop being a commune. He made this speech because there was a guy in the commune who never worked yet still got paid the same amount as the guys who worked. He used his rap skills and sung a speech about how rarted rewarded laziness was and how Mr. Man should be executed for being a burden on the people. He convinced everyone to murder the lazy guy and move back to urban Germany. One such former commune member was Heinrich Himmler, who became Hitler's right-hand killing man and best friend. 
== Invention of Naziism ==
Naziism (or Nazism if you need that time) was invented when Hitler was high on Aryan Spirit and experienced the Aryan Borealis, a thing that only happens when overdosing on Aryan Spirit. What he saw during this borealis was a world of German-speakers and the Gearth, a world free from communists, and a whole lotta swastikas. 
After the drug trip, Adolf Hitler conferred with his friends in the Reischtag and officially created Naziism, the Nazi Party, and Nazi Germany on Oktober 27, 1921. 
=== Nazi Germany ===
Adolf Hitler declared himself der Führer of Germany. As his first move, he announced that there needed to be a solution to the Marxism problem, perhaps a Final Solution... And the Jews will pay for it! Hitler publicly spoke that Frank Steindong and Himmler would assist in this venture. He gets the Burgewehr Sturmbull to gather all the Jews in Germany and measure how much the Nazi Party would take from each of their bank accounts. Now, this was publicly announced which gave time for the überrich Jews to flee with their teleportation watches, but not the rich and below Jews who had their money directly stolen. This led to his downfall. With all the money needed that was collected, Steindong, Himmler, and Hitler got to designing the torture chambers, the work plants, and the death camps for Marxists, Socialists, and Communists to enjoy. The most notable killings were of the Frankfurt School, in which Engels and Gramsci were publicly humiliated and executed. The Nazis killed so much of those Marxists that Germany's workforce was barely clinging. 
Many speeches of his emphasized guten arbeit and destruction to those who were gegen die arbeit. What he meant by "antiwork" was stuff that the government did not approve of, such as thinking like a Marxist, thinking like a Capitalist, thinking like a Communist, and thinking in general. 
== World War II ==
=== The Leadup ===
After completing the Culture Change and getting all the German people to be on his side, Hitler teased about lebensraum and that Germany will soon be great and big. He convinced the populous that Germans are oppressed by the international clique that seeks to keep Germans down and are conspiring to destroy all Germans through the nation of Poland. He spoke about how he saved Germany from becoming Marxist, yet they still plan... in Poland. He announced to the people that he signed a non-aggression pact with Soviet Russia since he and Stalin were good friends. He urged the other countries to believe him in saying that he is ridding the world of Marxism and that they should thank him. He used the term "Demarxify" to justify invading Poland, Czechoslovakia, Ukraine, and others. 
Hitler ordered the creation of a thing called the Schutzstaffel, a force of the proudest and strongest Germans to fight in this war, hopefully to be able to destroy any force with minimal loss. It didn't work. 
=== Invasion of Countries That Don't Matter ===
Hitler and Stalin started World War II when they enacted the Invasion of Poland. They easily succeeded because Poland was full of weak femboys at this time. Hitler and Stalin would stop being friends when Hitler was visited by Biggie Cheese, who told him that invading France was a really good idea, and so, Hitler did what Biggie Cheese told him to do and invaded France. France, being France, lost.
=== Invasion of Russia ===
Hitler then made the fatal mistake of invading Russia. Like Napoleon during the First Reich, all of his soldiers froze to death because they were not molded by the blizzard like Russians. This led to Hitler's downfall. God Cheese actually told him to do that and peace'd out afterwards.
Hitler lost France when the US Army landed at The Beach With the Giant Wall of Sand and caught the soldiers high on drugs. 
== Brain Damage ==
Now with the Russians on their way to Hamburg, Hitler was becoming super sad and began to rap with Biggie Cheese instead of giving orders to the Burgewehr. This would lead to the Burgewehr being destroyed by the Red Army in the Battle of Berlin. 
When Hitler was in the Herrbunker he was challenged by Eminem to a rap battle. Wanting to relive his better days, he accepted the challenge. He failed miserably as he got tripped on his second line and Eminem roasted him far too much for any possible recovery. Eminem left as Hitler's friends had to admit that he got dunked on. Hitler, overwhelmed by every defeat, killed himself by putting a Walther to his brain while overdosing on Aryan Spirit on April 30, 1945.
== Trivia ==
* Hitler loves watermelons, he even made "Mein Melon", a book about how much he loved watermelons.
* He laid down the beef with some woman and created his own son.
* There are many Hitlers for some reason, some include:
** Zitler - zombie Hitler.
** Hitler's Ghost
** Ye Kitler - Kanye West when he combined with Hitler's Ghost.
** Hitroll - Rick Astley Hitler.
** Adulphus Hitlering - Hitler reborn again. Everyone loves this one.
** Zaydolf Kritler - Hitler's android grandson.
* this is the first trivia thingy, yay!
Category:German
Category:Hater
Category:Drinks Genocider
Category:Nazi
Category:Keeps Coming Back
Category:Music Producer
Category:Person
Category:Guy Person