So Dumb (Homer's Lament)

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So Dumb (Homer's Lament) is a track off of Dan Castellaneta's second album "I Am Not Homer". It is the only track on the album that actually has anything to do with The Simpsons. It features a majority of the major characters that Castellaneta plays on the show including Homer, Grampa, Barney, Groundskeeper Willie and Krusty. The song was written by Castellaneta.
==Lyrics==
:Curt:
:Alright, Homer, studio's all yours.
:Homer:
:Thanks, Curt.
:(cymbals are heard crashing)
:Grampa:
:Why did you take me out of the home? What is this place?
:Homer:
:It's a recording studio, Dad. I want you to sing on my record.
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:Don't play with those!
:Barney:
:I'm not playin', I fell backwards.
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:Oh, sorry.
:Barney:
:Uh-oh, some rock musician puked in here last night!
:Grampa:
:Ewww!
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:I'm not cleanin' it up.
:Barney:
:(sniffs) Wait, it's mine.
:Homer:
:Barney!
:Krusty:
:Hey, what's goin' on here?
:Homer:
:Oh, hi, Krusty. We're laying in the background vocals of my hit song.
:Krusty:
:Hey, I'm s'posed to have this studio to record my new doll, Talking Krusty.
:Homer:
:Oh, I'm sorry, Krusty, but we do have the studio from 8:05 to 8:10.
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:That's right, clown.
:Krusty:
:All right. I'm gonna be across the street banking a few business transactions and I'll be back. And once I'm here, you're outta here.
:Homer:
:Okay, we better hurry up, guys. Now, let's hear your parts.
:(everyone sings in imperfect harmony)
:Homer:
:Good...good...alright, well, when I put a reverb on it, it'll sound great. Hey, Barney, what are you doin'?
:Barney:
:Settin' up my tape recorder.
:Homer:
:What for?
:Barney:
:I'm gonna record this session.
:Homer:
:What?
:Barney:
:Yeah, I'm gonna bootleg the record.
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:Bootleg?
:Homer:
:No bootlegging!
:Barney:
:But—
:Homer:
:Turn it off!
:Barney:
:But, Ho—
:Homer:
:Turn it off!
:Barney:
:All right.
:Homer:
:Alright, now. I'm gonna go in the booth and when you guys hear the bass dealey, you start singing.
:Barney:
:Okay, Homer.
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:Alright, I understand.
:Grampa:
:What're we supposed to do?
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:Quiet.
:Homer:
:Okay, where's it? Oh, here it is. This is "So Dumb: Background Vocals, Take One."
:(bass plays and the boys start to sing)
:Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
:Aaaahhhhhhhhh...
:Aaaahhhhhhhhh...
:Homer:
:The nuclear plant
:Is the reason I can't
:Make a baby with Marge anymore.
:The reason I'm fat,
:So they tell me, is that
:I eat eight meals instead of just four.
:I'm bald because my children
:Are loud and burdensome.
:But somehow my brain's
:At a loss to explain
:The reason I've gotten so dumb.
:Maybe it's beer
:Ev'ry day of the year
:That is killing the cells in my brain.
:Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
:Ooh-wah-ahhhh
:Homer:
:And if that is true,
:Then what else can I do
:If it's beer that is really to blame?
:Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
:Ooh-wah-ahhhh
:Homer:
:I'll have to stop beer drinking
:And switch to gin or rum.
:But if I'm to choose,
:Forget brains! I'll take booze!
:Tell me how have I gotten...
:Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
:So dumb!
:Grampa:
:Don't be so glum
:About being dumb.
:Homer:
:My father told me once.
:Grampa:
:Son, it's okay,
:Go out and play
:With all the other runts.
:You are just fine.
:I really don't mind
:All your stupid stunts.
:Just wear the hat,
:Your pointy hat
:Indicating you're a dunce!
:(Grampa, Barney and Willie vocalize)
:Homer:
:I am so stupid!...I said, "I am so stupid!"...You're supposed to say, "How stupid am I?"...I'll wait...Did you say, "How stupid are you?"...I am so stupid that if I ever had a...Whenever I would...D'OH!
:I have to say, "D'oh!"
:'Cuz I really don't know
:Who my congressman is to this day.
:They say that it's sad,
:But, hey, it's not so bad,
:'Cuz I really don't vote anyway.
:I can't think of the lyrics.
:I guess I'll have to hum.
:La da dee da da da
:I forgot to wear pants
:Tell me da da da dee dee...
:Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
:So dumb!
:Homer:
:My kids are all smart,
:Maggie, Lisa and Bart
:And the dog and the cat laugh at me.
:Well, they really don't laugh.
:I just made that part up.
:So forget what I said. Never mind.
:Now what was I just singing?
:I know it rhymes with "dumb".
:Was it crumb, was it bum,
:Or about bubblegum?
:I forgot. Now sometimes I'm...
:Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
:So dumb!
:Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
:Eat donuts, eat donuts,
:Eat donuts, eat donuts, etc.
:La, la la, la, la, la
:La, la la, la la, etc.
:Krusty:
:All right, I'm back from the entre letting place. Are you finished?
:Homer:
:I'm almost finished, Krusty. Gonna fade out right here.
:Krusty:
:Well, hurry up, I haven't got all day!
:Homer:
:(trying to get Willie, Grampa and Barney's attentions) Okay, guys, that's enough! Wait a minute! How come they can't hear me?
:Krusty:
:Press the talkback button.
:Homer:
:Which one is it?
:Krusty:
:Do I look like an engineer?
:Homer:
:I'll try this one. Guys, guys!
:Krusty:
:Try that button.
:Homer:
:Guys! Guys, can you hear me? How about this button?
:Krusty:
:No, that's not workin', they can't hear ya. Hey! Hello!
:Homer:
:What does this knob do?
:Krusty:
:You mean the one that says, "Don't Touch"?! Don't touch it!
:(too late because the tape starts speeding up)
:Homer:
:What happens if I do? It—Wait a minute! Stop it! Stop the tape machine!!
:Krusty:
:I dunno how to stop it!
:Homer:
:It's eating up the tape!!! Oh!
:(Willie, Grampa, and Barney are still singing)
:Guys...Guys! I just ruined the tape!
:Barney:
:Homer's wavin' at us! What is it, Homer? Quiet, guys!
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:Quiet, guys! Shut it!
:(they stop singing)
:Grampa:
:What th—?
:Barney:
:What's wrong, Homer?
:Grampa:
:What's going on?
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:What's wrong?
:Homer:
:Oh, Barney, I ruined the tape. (everyone groans) The machine ate up all the tape.
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:Well, that's it for me.
:Barney:
:Don't worry, Homer.
:Grampa:
:I could've been home watching Matlock.
:Homer:
:Why?
:Barney:
:'Cause I never turned off my tape recorder. I have it all on my own tape recorder!
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:Ach! He's right!
:Homer:
:Oh, Barney, thank goodness for you!
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:Thank goodness for you!
:Homer:
:Sometimes I'm so dumb!
:Grampa:
:You got that right!
:Barney:
:Aw, Homer, you're not dumb. You wrote the song, didn't ya?
:Homer:
:Yeah.
:Barney:
:And you got a record company to release it.
:Groundskeeper Willie:
:That's right.
:Homer:
:Hey, you're right.
:Barney:
:And you're gonna get a lot of royalties from it.
:Homer:
:Royalties?
:Barney:
:You know, money. Homer?
:(pause)
:Homer:
:D'OOOOHHHH!!!
:Grampa:
:I'm gonna take a nap.
== Notes ==
* Musically, the song is inspired by Smile, the famous unfinished Beach Boys album intended as a follow-up to their 1966 album Pet Sounds.
Category:Songs
Category:Songs by Homer
Category:Songs by Barney
Category:Songs by Groundskeeper Willie
Category:Songs by Krusty
Category:Songs by Grampa
Category:Dan Castellaneta
Category:Original Songs