Lazro and the Quest for Spare Clothes

OMFG GUIZ MACHUUR KONTEND WAHRNEENG
THIS CONTAINS SHIT LIKE VIOLENCE AND TORTURE AND GENOCIDE AND THIS JOKE IS FUCKING HORRIBLE.
==CHAPTER 1 - CHAPTER ONE==
Lazro stood there with Digug, preparing for the adventure of a lifetime!!
Then it hit him.
HOW WAS HE GOING TO FLY THROUGH SPACE? And even then, Pragma was, like, 100 miles away or something! IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE!
Quest over.
Nope.avi 
Lazro had to find a way in order to get his clothes back! THEY WERE THE MOST DEAREST THING TO HIM. BECAUSE, LIKE, HE GOT THEM FROM A CARNIVAL WHEN HE KICKED A GUY WHO TRIED TO STEAL HIS MONEY AND THEN STOLE HIS CLOTHES OUTTA SPITE. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTH
He then remembered something...
FLASH BACK. FUCKING FLASH BACK.
Lazro dropped in on Revelian one day while Revelian was reading Pragman News daily because he got that because he did.
And so while Revelian was reading the New York Times Lazro started to bug him.
Lazro: HEY Revelian CAN I HAVE SOME FUEL FOR A ROCKET?
Revelian then took a massive crap. His crap turned out to be a nuclear rock. YAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
And so Revelian beaned the nuclear rock off of Lazro's head and Lazro had nuclear radiation poisoning for a week.
FLASH BACK OVER.
Lazro reached inside of his pocket and pulled out the nuclear rock. WE HAVE FUEL.
So he shoved the fuel up Digug's ass and Digug launched away like a rocket with Lazro on top because Lazro can warp because he warped and because he was warped. wut
And so, Lazro flew across the pretty stars and shit while Digug was dying from radiation poisoning. They soon make it to Pragma!!
Lazro: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-spamfilterd
And so they crash landed and had a nuclear explosion.
And everyone died. The end.
NOPE.AVI 
So Lazro walked out of the wreckage on his 4 hooves (what the FUCK) so you're probably sitting there irritated because I'm not advancing the plot because he was knocking on the door.
And so Lazro walked out of the wreckage and went into wherever Karelia was and he found her.
Karelia: Lazro?? What are you doing-
AND LAZRO JUDO-CHOPPED HER. HE THEN STOLE THE CLOTHES AND RAN THE FUCK AWAY.
He then got back on Digug and flew back across space.
Meanwhile Revelian had gotten out of bed after he gigugoled Umbra's gogeglap and what the fuck is that shit.
And so as Lazro went back into Ludus' surface he accidentally Revelian's window to his castle and flew inside, running Revelian over with Digug. Revelian Falcon Punched Lazro out of the castle and back home where he celebrated the fact he now had his clothes back.
And then a monster came and burned them.
Lazro: FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
THEND
...Why the fuck did I write this shit.
THIS ISN'T EVEN CANON.
Category:Stories
Category:Phi Timeline