Everybody Hates Ned Flanders

Everybody Hates Ned Flanders was an Emmy-nominated song from the episode "Dude, Where's My Ranch?". In the episode, it was written by Homer Simpson. It was supposed to be a Christmas carol, but when Flanders interrupted Homer's writing of it, he chose to make a hate song about him. After hearing it in Moe's Tavern, guest star David Byrne decided to make it into a CD and have it play all over Springfield on radios, church choirs and karaoke bars. However, after hearing several knock-offs, Homer gives up on the song. The music was written by Alf Clausen and Ken Keeler and the lyrics by Ian Maxtone-Graham and Keeler. It is part of the seventeenth track on the album The Simpsons: Testify. It was nominated for an Emmy award for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Music and Lyrics in 2003. It lost to "Aren't They All Our Children" from the television special The Concert for World Children's Day. 
== Lyrics ==
::For the introduction lyrics see Flanders is His Name.
=== Dialogue ===
:David Byrne:
:Excuse me, I've been researching indigenous music of Springfield and couldn't help but overhear your delightfully cruel hate song.
:Carl:
:David Byrne?
:Moe:
:Singer, artist, director, composer, Talking Head.
:David Byrne:
:And I used to wrestle under the name El Diablo (The Devil).
:Lenny:
:I thought that was Phillip Glass.
:David Byrne:
:Yeah, he wishes.
:Homer:
:Hey, mister, if you like my song, do you wanna buy a tape? It's already rewound.
:David Byrne:
:No, thank you. But I would like to sing it with you, and produce it.
:Homer:
:[sighs] Fine.
=== The Song ===
:Lenny and Carl:
:F-L-A,
:Homer:
:His name is Ned!
:Lenny and Carl:
:E-R-S,
:Homer:
:It's a stupid name!
:He's worse than Frankenstein
:Or Dr. No!
:David Byrne:
:You can't upset him even slightly,
:He just smiles and nods politely,
:Then goes home and worships nightly,
:His Leftorium is an emporium of woe!
:Lenny and Carl:
:F-L-A,
:Homer:
:Don't yell at Ned!
:Lenny and Carl:
:D-E-R,
:Homer:
:His wife is dead!
:Everybody hates that stupid jerk!
:David Byrne:
:Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing,
:Filling clubs...with angry Valentinos.
:You don't have to move your feet,
:Just hate Flanders to the disco beat.
:Homer and David Byrne:
:He's your perky, peppy, nightmare neighborino!
:Homer and David Byrne: (Ned Flanders also singing along to the radio in his car).
:If you despise polite left-handers,
:Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders
:Or his creepy little offspring, Rod and Todd.
:Todd: That's us!
:Rod: Hooray!!!
:Audience (including Agnes Skinner, Dr. Nick, Lindsey Naegle, Kirk van Houten, Ruth Powers, and Martin Prince, Sr.) :
:F-L-A!
:Apu:
:His name is Ned!
:Audience:
:E-R-S!
:Apu:
:He is so white bread!
:Homer and Church Choir (including Miss Hoover and Dr. Hibbert):
:The smiling mustached geek who walks with God!
:Reverend Lovejoy:
:Mass dismissed.
:Homer: 
:Hey, what are we gonna wear tomorrow?
== Other versions ==
=== William Shatner's version ===
"Sung" by William Shatner (guest voice Maurice LaMarche). This is a parody of Shatner's infamous interpretation of "Rocket Man."
:DJ:
:We're halfway through our Same Song Six-Pack! Now let's hear William Shatner's version of "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders!"
:Marge:
:Another cover?! My God, let it die!
:William Shatner:
:Everybody...
:In the U.S...
:A...
:Hates...their...
:Stupid...neighbor...
:He's the Flanders...man...
:The Flanders, man...
:Flanders...
:(Homer turns off the radio)
:Marge:
:I am so sick of that song!
:Homer:
:Ugh, me, too! I've come to hate my own creation! Now I know how God feels.
=== Salsa Mix version ===
:Homer:
:This dude ranch is gonna be great. A whole week without hearing that stupid song.
:David Byrne:
:You won't think it's stupid when you hear the Extended Salsa Mix!
:(gets out of the car and starts dancing on the hood)
:¡No nos gusta Flanders!
:¡Es un hombre estupido!
:¡No nos gusta Flanders!
:Marge:
:Watch it, Mr. Byrne! You'll slip on the Simoniz!
:David Byrne:
:Simoniz!?
:(Byrne slips on the Simoniz and lands in Moe's car.)
:Moe:
:Woah. Woah!
:David Byrne:
:Can you take me to the hospital?
:Moe:
:Yeah, no problem.
:
:(they pass the hospital)
:
:David Byrne:
:Wasn't that the hospital?
:
:Moe:
:Uh...did you ever see the movie Misery?
:
:David Byrne:
:Actually, no.
:
:Moe:
:Then this'll all be new to you.
:(Moe drives off to a mysterious location)
== Video ==
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Category:Songs
Category:Original Songs
Category:Season 14 songs
Category:Emmy-nominated songs
Category:Songs by Agnes Skinner
Category:Songs by Apu
Category:Songs by Carl
Category:Songs by Dr. Nick
Category:Songs by Elizabeth Hoover
Category:Songs by guest stars
Category:Songs by Homer
Category:Songs by Julius Hibbert
Category:Songs by Kirk Van Houten
Category:Songs by Lenny
Category:Songs by Martha Prince
Category:Songs by Martin Prince, Sr.
Category:Songs by Moe
Category:Songs by Ned Flanders
Category:Songs by Rod Flanders
Category:Songs by Ruth Powers
Category:Songs by Todd Flanders