The Tragedy Trilogy: A Full Server Movie

The Tragedy Trilogy: A Full Server Movie is a 2022 television movie based on the series Full Server, and directed by Zoltan40. 
The film is a compilation of the episodes Elmo 5: Collision Course, Testicular Cancer and Road to Yemen with continuity edits by Zoltan40 to make them work as a feature film. Production on the film started upon Zoltan's realisation that all three episodes have vague continuity and all feature notable characters dying, hence the title "The Tragedy Trilogy". The original episodes were written by PlutoIsAPineapple, FireMatch, CartoonGuy277, Zoltan40, and .
==Synopsis==
SpongeBot gives birth to Elmo 5, and dies. Dr. Brown Bear revives her, but then Zoltan dies. SpongeBot revives him, but then she tries to cook Suzy Sheep, and the house burns down. Then they go to Yemen to find Changler while Daddy Pig rebuilds the house.
==Transcript==
Whatever happened to predictability.
The milkman, the paperboy, evening tv?
How did I get to living here?
Somebody tell me please!
This old world's confusing me.
With clouds as mean as you've ever seen
Ain't a bird who knows your tune.
Then a little voice inside you Whispers,
Kid don't sell your dreams, so soon
Everywhere you look, everywhere you go
There's a heart (There's a heart), a hand to hold onto.
Everywhere you look, everywhere you go
There's a place, of Somebody who needs you
Everywhere you look.
When you're lost out there and you're all alone,
A light is waiting to carry you home.
Everywhere you look.
Everywhere you look.
[Establishing shot of the Full Server house. Cut to the living room. SpongeBot walks in and the audience applauds and cheers.]
SpongeBot: Oh God! The laughing’s back! I thought we got cancelled!
[Jess walks in. More applause and cheers.]
Jess: Huh… maybe we got rebooted. This could be Fuller Server or something.
SpongeBot: Oh hey, you’re back.
[Laugh track. Zoltan walks in with his signature Zoltan walk]
Zoltan: No this isn't a reboot. It still feels exactly as degenerate.
Jess: Wait, is this like a movie? After a really long hiatus? How the fuck are we gonna explain everything?
[Pluto walks in. More applause.]
Pluto: There’s my lovely wife! Also I turn girls lesbian.
[Jess and Pluto kiss. Laugh track.]
Jess: You're a terrible kisser.
Pluto: Well, you’re a terrible ugly.
Jess: Your sentence just made me lesbian.
[Pluto winks at the camera.]
Jingle singers: Pluto: The true lesbianator!
Zoltan: I thought Pluto was Jess’ son.
[Laugh track because incest is funny]
SpongeBot: Hey, so like, how’s the Elmos?
Zoltan: There's a fifth one on the way soon.
Jess: Wait, you guys procreated 2 new Elmos while I was gone? And a new one coming?
[Laugh track.]
Jess: Also where’s Prim? 
SpongeBot: He died.
[Laugh track because death is funny.]
Zoltan: Actually he’s just in Slovenia.
[cutaway to Prim’s dead body in Slovenia]
Prim: I am dead
[Laugh track. Cut back.]
Zoltan: Or at least that’s what we tell Elmo 4.
SpongeBot: And the other one.
[Daddy Pig enters]
Daddy Pig: Hey guys, it’s great to see you all again!
Jess: Hi Daddy Pig, it’s crazy to think that you have been living here for 2 months now!
Daddy Pig: It is! I feel like I just moved in!
Zoltan: I have ball cancer.
[Laugh track]
Producer: TOO EARLY, WAIT UNTIL PAGE 16.
Zoltan: Welp I guess the ball cancer will have to wait. In the meantime, I need to find a cat to uhh… do fun stuff with.
Peppa Pig narrator: Zoltan wants to have sex with a cat.
[Laugh track.]
Zoltan: HEY! Where did you come from?
Peppa Pig narrator: Zoltan is wondering where I came from.
Zoltan: DON’T MAKE ME COME UP THERE. I KNOW SOME THINGS.
Peppa Pig narrator: Oh dear, it seems Zoltan is threatening me.
Zoltan: YOU’LL BECOME DEADER THAN SUZY SHEEP.
[RIP Suzy Sheep: Gone but never forgotten]
Pluto: Wait, so is Jess still lesbian, because I’m counting this marriage.
Jess: That's up to you.
Pluto: Ugh, I hate making conscious decisions!
[Laugh track. Outside the room we hear someone say something in German.]
Zoltan: THE NAZIS ARE COMING!
Pluto: Hide me!
[Laugh track because Jews haha.]
???: HEIL HITLER!
Zoltan: Oh phew it's just a Hitler stan.
Pluto: That’s a relief.
[The unknown person barges through the door in a Nazi outfit.]
CartoonGuy: Hey guys, how do you like my new husband?
Lemur: I have all the Hitler and Mussolini memorabilia. All of it.
[Laugh track because Hitler is funny.]
Pluto: Mike has some competition now. Don’t tell him about this.
Lemur: Does anyone want a spare copy of Mein Kampf?
SpongeBot: Oh, I’ll take it! I’ve been needing a new bedtime story for the Elmos!
[Laugh track]
Zoltan: I thought we agreed to not read them propaganda after the 9/11 incident.
CartoonGuy: The what now?
Zoltan: You know, the 9/11 incident.
SpongeBot: It was certainly a tragedy… 
Zoltan: It’s a shame really, apart from that we are great parents!
SpongeBot: Yeah!
Zoltan: Now keep smoking so the baby will get AUTISM and we can get loads of MONEY!
[SpongeBot salutes and takes out a cigarette. Laugh track.]
Zoltan: Lemur, has CartoonGuy told you anything about us?
Lemur: i knownred  faster the red faster
CartoonGuy: Don't mind him, he's just having a stroke.
[Laugh track because strokes are hilarious.]
Zoltan: I have those twice a day! Welcome to the family.
[Laugh track. Group hug]
SpongeBot: Oh f*ck I feel kicking in my belly. Must've been that McDonald's I had for breakfast.
Lemur: I'm no doctor but I think you're pregnant.
SpongeBot: Am I? Hold on a moment.
[SpongeBot goes on her phone and looks up an online pregnancy test.]
SpongeBot: Yeah, yeah, uhh no, and done. It says I ‘’might’’ be pregnant. Come on, give me a yes or no answer!
Zoltan: You should call Dr. Brown Bear.
[Laugh track.]
SpongeBot: And get true professional advice? This is Full Server, not a medical documentary.
Jess: If it's any help, I watch Grey’s Anatomy when my mom is home.
SpongeBot: Tell Grey to get back to the kitchen.
[Laugh track because women.]
Zoltan: The last time we had sex was only a few days ago.
Elmo 4: Daddy? What’s-
Zoltan: WHO LET YOU OUT OF YOUR ROOM?
[Elmo 4 starts crying]
Zoltan: SHUT UP IDIOT!
[Zoltan punches Elmo 4]
Zoltan: STOP CRYING
[Elmo 4 cries even more]
Zoltan: I hate you, all you deserve is pain.
SpongeBot: You are too mean.
Zoltan: What? I’m a perfect parent!
[Laugh track]
Pluto: Wait, I feel like I’m missing something. Like there’s something else that happened.
Jess: Beats me.
Pluto: Maybe it’ll come to me sooner or later.
Dan: (from off-screen) I HEARD CUM!
[Dan enters, spawning cheers from the audience]
Dan: Yeah, that's right! I jacked off to Timmy Turner!
[Laugh track because attraction to children is hilarious.]
Zoltan: Only in the Full Server.
SpongeBot: Agh! I feel pain!
Zoltan: Same.
SpongeBot: No, like… pregnancy pain! I think I'm in labor!
Zoltan: But it's three whole months after Labor Day!
[Laugh track.]
SpongeBot: Normally, this would be an “Understandable, have a nice day” moment, but this seriously hurts.
Pluto: THAT’S WHAT I WAS FORGETTING. Yeah, I sexxed someone. Is that how you say it?
SpongeBot: You mean you're not a virgin? Huh, who knew.
Jess: shit
Pluto: That’s right mates, I join the sad exclusive club of Non-Virgins.
SpongeBot: Damn it now I wanna join!
Pluto: Like unfucking the Christmas turkey, that cannot be done.
[Laugh track.]
Jess: Weren’t you in labor?
SpongeBot: Oh right. OW IT HURTS!
Zoltan: Don’t worry, I called Dr. Brown Bear!
[Dr. Brown Bear enters. Audience cheers.]
Dr. Brown Bear: Hello, everybody.
Daddy Pig: Dr. Brown Bear! You came here so quickly!
Dr. Brown Bear: I did?
Zoltan: Yeah! It only took 5 minutes!
Dr. Brown Bear: Good golly, the commute from my home planet is well fast these days innit bruv. So what’s the problem?
SpongeBot: I’m preggers.
[Laugh track.]
Elmo 4: [walks into scene.] Daddy, I- WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?
Dr. Brown Bear: I’m Doctor Brown Bear.
Daddy Pig: And I’m Daddy Pig!
Elmo 4: Oh okay.
[Laugh track.]
CartoonGuy: Despite making up 13% of the population-
Lemur: Hubby, there is a child here.
CartoonGuy: You're literally in a nazi outfit.
Lemur: oh yeah I forgot.
[Laugh track.]
Dr. Brown Bear: I don’t even know what’s happening anymore.
SpongeBot: THE BABY
Liz: DABABY?
DaBaby: I hate gay people.
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: NO LIZ I AM PREGNANT
Pluto: So is my wife, y’all can relate to each other now.
SpongeBot: Oh no, I feel like-
[Elmo 5 just suddenly pops out of SpongeBot. Laugh track.]
Zoltan: MY BABY!
SpongeBot: OUR BABY!
[USSR anthem plays for 3 seconds.]
Jess: MY SIBLING!
Zoltan’s Mum: MY GRANDCHILD!
Pluto: I don’t even know who this is.
[Laugh track]
Dr. Brown Bear: IT’S A BOY!
SpongeBot: Actually I think it’s a girl.
[Zoltan starts crossing out the words on his “it’s a boy” banner he was just putting up. Laugh track.]
Elmo 5: Can I say the R slur?
Jess: AW! HER FIRST WORDS!
Pluto: Sorry, little Elmo, I don’t think Fandom will appreciate people saying r*****.
Fandom: YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. Also we hate gay people too.
DaBaby: Lesss goooo
[Laugh track.]
Pluto: Wait,  Dr. Brown Bear, before you go, do I have an S*D?
Dr. Brown Bear: I have no idea. 
Pluto: Oh.
Jess: what the fuck is this movie
Dr. Brown Bear: Anyway, I must go now. My home planet needs me!
Zoltan: Your planet? I didn’t know you were an alien.
Dr. Brown Bear: I am not an alien, I am a bear.
Zoltan: Oh okay.
[Laugh track]
Dr. Brown Bear: Goodbye! I will come back when the plot needs me!
[Dr. Brown Bear blasts off in his space rocket. Laugh track.]
SpongeBot: What an odd fellow.
Pluto: He steams a good ham though.
[Laugh track because dead memes are tight.]
Liz: Wanna know a fun fact?
SpongeBot: Sure.
Liz: Despite only making up 13 percent-
SpongeBot: I already know that Liz. Everyone knows that black-.
Pluto: COMMERCIAL BREAK.
[Commercial break]
Peter Griffin: Hey, tell me something, there’s a delicious Subway food montage going on right behind me isn’t there? Yep I can smell it. Well that’s gonna make it kinda hard to focus but here we go. An Ode to the Subway feast, Turkey, Salami, Cheese with Roast beef, Pepperoni and Ham, write this down, Chief. We got them all on freshly baked bread, the Subway feast, it’s as big as my head. Beat that Jared. (laugh) Subway, Eat Fresh!
[End of commercial break. Applause and cheers.]
Elmo 5: I have autism.
[Laugh track.]
Liz: Aw… just like her parents.
Aaron: Welcome to the club, kid.
Elmo 5: yay
Pluto: Now what fucked up thing can we introduce? Oh yeah. Jess, tell them the big news.
Jess: Oh yeah. Granite saw a Ron’s Gone Wrong bus poster the other day!
[Laugh track]
Pluto: The other big news!
Jess: Sonic 2?
Pluto: The other other big news!
[Laugh track]
Jess: Oh, I’m preggers!
Pluto: I meant the Scott Pilgrim TV show but that works too.
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: My daughter announced she was pregnant the same day my new baby was born? I guess this is a double celebration then!
[Grim Reaper walks in.]
Grim: Sorry SpongeBot, but you’re dead.
[laugh track]
Jess: wait wut
Grim: Yeah, she gave birth so hard that she fucking died.
Zoltan: MY WIFE!
Jess: MY MUM!
Aaron: MY DAUGHTER!
Grim: You know how you all told SpongeBot to smoke so Elmo 5 would have autism? Well, turns out smoking is kinda bad for you. Who would have thought? Anyway I’m gonna collect her soul now. Have a nice day everyone!
Pluto: Bye, SpongeBot. Don’t hit your head on the door as you die.
[SpongeBot’s head hits the door frame as the Grim Reaper drags her dead body out of the house]
Pluto: Fuck.
[Laugh track]
Jess: Should we hold a funeral?
Zoltan: Nah, I'm not really in the mood.
[Laugh track.]
Liz: She was your wife.
Zoltan: Yeah so?
[Laugh track]
Pluto: You rammed her to the point where she died of childbirth. This is like the Oregon Trail!
Liz: I'd prefer to call it the Organ Trail at this point.
Dan: More like the Orgasm Trail.
The guy who says who else but Quagmire: Who else but Dan?
[Laugh track.]
Zoltan: Now that my wife is dead, who will make dinner?
[Elmo 4 walks in dressed as a chef]
Elmo 4: Me! Me! Me!
Zoltan: I would rather be dead. Males do not work in the kitchen.
Chef Boyardee: Fuck-a you, a-Zoltan.
Zoltan: Wait, I know who can revive SpongeBot! ELMO 5!
[Elmo 5 walks in]
Elmo 5: Yes, daddy?
Zoltan: Try reviving mommy with your autism powers!
Elmo 5: Okay!
[Elmo 5 says some gibberish and nothing happens]
Zoltan: Okay, we need someone else.
[Zoltan calls up Dr. Brown Bear]
Zoltan: Hello? Oh good morning Doctor. So the woman who gave birth earlier is now dead.
[Dr. Brown Bear’s space rocket crashes through the house. He jumps out.]
Dr. Brown Bear: WHAT?! Am I important to the plot again?!
[Laugh track]
Dead Squidward: I just woke up. What is happening?
Zoltan: My wife gave birth, but I told her to smokes lots and lots of cigarettes so the baby would be autism, and the baby was born happy and healthy and very autism which is good because we wanted autism baby is we could get its of autism money but it turns out that smoking is bad for you and now SpongeBot is dead.
Dead Squidward: God I hate when that happens.
[Laugh track.]
Pluto: Doctor Brown Bear, could you please bring SpongeBot back to life.
Dr. Brown Bear: I… I haven’t done this in a long time, but I will try my best. I am a doctor after all.
Liz: Thank you, doctor.
Dr. Brown Bear: Okay, here goes… يسوع يمارس الجنس مع المسيح كريستيان دان! كان هذا ما قلته كيف أن مجتمع هو في الغالب عدد كبير من الأشخاص المثليين ، في المفهوم. هل لم تتلاعب بقراءة كيف قلت "إن في تعني الأشخاص المتحولين جنسياً و تعني الأشخاص الذين يتساءلون عن جنسهم أو حياتهم الجنسية ،"؟ ما هو الخطأ معك؟ !! كل شيء تحاول قوله إنني أجادل لأنني قدمت مطالبات ضد !!! ما هذا اللعنة يا رجل ؟! أنت الوحيد الذي لا يزال يحاول متابعة هذه الحجة الغبية! أنا حتى لا أحاول الجدال معك! يسوع
Dead Squidward: I’M ALIVE! AHHHH! I’M NOT DEAD SQUIDWARD ANYMORE! I’M JUST…. REGULAR SQUIDWARD!
Peppa Pig narrator: Oh dear, it seems that Doctor Brown Bear has revived the wrong person.
[Laugh track]
Dr. Brown Bear: Dammit, now they might revoke my medicinal license. 
Jess: QUICK! REVIVE SpongeBot TOO!
Dr. Brown Bear: I can’t. I can only revive one person at a time. So goodbye everybody, I’m on the run again.
[Laugh track; Dr. Brown Bear is blasting off again…]
Pluto: Just like Jimmy Neutron. God, this is awesome.
Elmo 3: GOD DOES NOT EXIST. ONLY SCIENCE!!
[Laugh track.]
Squidward: Wait, what is happening?
[Squidward dies.]
Dead Squidward: Damn it, I’m dead again.
[Laugh track]
Jess: Just like Suzy.
[SpongeFun and PoopFan slowly walk in.]
PoopFan: We just had hot sex.
SpongeFun: Where’s SpongeBot?
Zoltan: Dead.
SpongeFun: WHAT?!
Jess: Yeah, she had too many fags.
[Note to FANDOM: that means cigarettes please don’t kill us]
Pluto: I mean, according to my exes, you can’t have too many of them.
Aaron: Did SpongeBot have sex with CrazySponge?
CrazySponge: NO! I’M NOT GAY!
Peppa Pig Narrator: Oh dear, it seems like Aidan is refusing his sexuality again.
Aaron: SpongeBot is a woman.
[laugh track because women]
SpongeFun: To remember Paige, we have created these brand new NFTs featuring her. Sign up now at https://bit.ly/3AlNyS6 to invest!
Dead Squidward: NFTs?!
[Mike appears]
Mike: I love those!
CrazySponge: SpongeBot, legally as a bp employee you cannot die so you can work forever so i demand you come back to life immediately!
[silence]
Zoltan: That didn’t work.
[Dr. Brown Bear comes back dressed as a cult leader]
Dr. Brown Bear: I HAVE HAD AN IDEA!
[Laugh track]
Zoltan: OOH! Does it involve Satan?
[Laugh track]
Dr. Brown Bear: Yes, actually.
Mike: Does it involve Jews?
Dr. Brown Bear: No…
Mike: Good.
Zoltan: So Satan, huh? Well, Elmo 3, this is your type of thing.
Elmo 3: [walks down the stairs] Dearest father, you requested that I use my intellect to help Doctor of Medicine Ursus Arctos to summon the demon from within?
Zoltan: yeah
[Laugh track]
Dr. Brown Bear: Okay, time for the ritual. VNZM BOLSMF IFLB VHRZIK OOZSH VD OOVS MR HR GR HZ SGIZV ML VMLW VY OORD BSG VNLX NLWTMRP BSG MZGZH ORZS MZGZH ORZS
Elmo 3: HAIL SATAN HAIL SATAN THY KINGDOM COME THY WILL BE DONE
Elmo 4: Neppah ot evlewt-enin esuac llahs ew esle ro rehtom evarg eht morf kcab emoc.
Zoltan: Go away Elmo 4, you non-satanic Muppet.
[Laugh track]
Dr. Brown Bear: Z̵̨̨̧̡̡̛̞̟͚͔̰̤̖͕̘̭͕̰͎̺͚̙͓̣̲͙͚̮͖͔̣͙̠̞̲̱̦̮̤͕̗̻̯͖̩͖̹̖̈́̈́̾͛͆̃́̋̒͂́̋̆̈́̎̒̈̃̅̾́͊̋̀̿̆̓̑̓̕͝͝͝H̵̢͓̤͔̖̺̣̹̩̦̦̦̫͍͉̗͕̝̦͕̥̙̾̄̓͆̆̒̊̑́̑̄̒̌͋͘͘͠͝ͅͅ ̶̢̧̧̫̰̣̺̬͓͚͚͇͓̩͖̞̜̜̲̼͓͚̝̝̝̫̯͎̞̜̱̟̖̱̰̻͔̭̓͆͆̀̾͐̈͌͗̾̑̊̉̑͛̈́̍̇̍̿́̋͆̏̏̔̂̐̐̊̊̇̀̀̚͘̕͝͝͝͝ͅR̸͓̮̲̬̤̒̇̈̔̈́̂̉̃͆̾̒͛͆͑̅̔͛̈́̔̀̋̈̉̓͒͘̕͝͝͝͝͝Ģ̸̧̙̪̞̳̱̜̝̳̲̣̠̩͍̹͇̫̥̜͔͚̹̺͍̘͖̦͍̯̈́̇̌̂͛̅̓͛̏̈͂̋̄̐͗̓̾̈̾̑̅̿̏͋͆͒́̍̆̍̀͜͝ͅͅͅ ̵̢̧̼̟̺̺̥͎̖̥͉͍͔̩͓̱̘̟̺̙̞̞̤̦̤̻̣̖̙̂̆̍̈́̊̆̍̈̅͛̎̕͜͠͝R̷̨̧̡̲̟̞͇̳͔̼̣͉͔͍̲͉̜͙͔̜̙̳̭̣̮̠͈͉͊̿̅̎̍̄̎͐ͅḨ̵̡̛̛͕͓̹̯̠̭̣͎̗̖̭͎͇̙̤̰͕̙͙̺̫̥̹̼͔̙͍̮̘̬̬̖͇͕̩̯̫͕̱̔̀͒̈́͒̇͆̾̾̊̀͒͊̾́̆̂͐͌̃̐̇͛̊̽̏͐̈́̃̈́̒̔̀̏͘̕̚͘͜͜͠ͅͅ ̶̨̡̛̥̲̩̲̟̪̭̦͈͔̹̖̰̥̞̳̼̰̬̰̪͎͖͍͓͖̹̺̩̪̖̣̯̦̲͚͈̊̿̈̈́͌͒̿͐̈́̉́̈́̎͑͋͊̉̐̿̎̉̅̐̅̈́̎͋̈́̂̉̽͐͌͗̑͊́̓̄́̈́̊͘̚͝͝͠͝ͅR̶̨̨̧̡̛̲͔̯̜̩̱̦̱̜̣̺̲̼̹̗̮̭̱͍̙̘̗͓͕͖̥̺͖̤̼̲̲͊̉̔̀̾̈̌̓̄̇͂̆̊̂̍̓͗͗̉̅̑͌̈̂̄͆͛̕͝ͅM̸̤͎̅͗̔̃͆̏͛͑͌͆̃̂̓̀̽͊̈́̂̽̽̓̋̃̂́́̐̒̉̇́̊͂́͂͠͝͠͠͝ ̶̛̦̅̆͆̑̅̏͒̉̀͗̀̀̓̇͛̆̔̾̎̒̿̐̿̊̃͛͗̒̐͂̈̈̈̑͑̔͋̈́̀͂̕̚̚͘̚͝͝ͅS̸̢̡̛̲̳̼̖͉̰͓̯͎̬̯̲͔̳͍̱̪̥̻̝͇̖̝̱̫̝̝̣̞̳͈̼̮̣̲̞̏͗̐̈̋̉̏̉̍̓͊̆̎̎̄̍͛͝V̶̧͉͉̭͕̻͚̰́̈́̉̿͆̓͘͝Ǒ̶̧̢̨̺̫̗̣̤̼͇̰̝̬̪͍̻̙̦͉̝̮̰͇̖̝̟͕̙̺̳̬̼̜̺̟̗̫̞̂̐͐͒̆͑̈́̅̇͐͋̔̓̕͜ͅO̷̥̼̖̘͓̯̪̓̉̎͑͜͝ ̸̨͉̙̲̗̹̺̼̻̯̼̩͎̺̝̺̲̪͙̭̮̤̺̟͖͖͇̩͍̦̙̟͚̹̖̝̘̝̮͈̓̀͊̽̀̃͋̄̀͗̾̀̃̆͊͂̃̈̈́̎̈̉̇̕̚̚̚͜͜͜͠͝ͅD̶̡̨̨̛̬̜̗̠͍̣͎͓̻̼̱̦͉̰͉̝̙̹̣̞̙̩̝̩̮͎̥͈̘͍͍͈͇̗̘̪̲̱͍̗̋̍̊̏̐͌̆̏͛̽̂́̓̇͋̾̐̾͆̿̋͒̓͗̋̓̄͆̀̍͊̊̕̕̚͠͝ͅV̸̡̡̢̧̰̼̜̫̺̰͙͔̩̪̟̥̖̪̭̮͖̬͓͈͔̯̬̦̲̙͇̦̟͍̼͖͈̯͔̺̂͂̉͆͛̂̉͊̎̅̚͜͠ ̴̧̢̧̡̧̨̨̱͈̗̬̥̳̪͇̺̫̘͙̠̗͉̪͕̲̱̝̥͇̣̞̞̩̥͙̭̗̲̣̲̲̼͈̪͉̩̩͚̏̾̓́̀̐̆͑̇̀̔̈́̉͐́̾̌͊̍̕͜͝ͅḪ̷̢̠̲̤͙͇͓̳͓̻̻̤̫̄͛́̾͌̑̃̔̅̊̈́͗̄̅̎̃͒̍̌͊̊̋̀̈́̃̌͌̒̅̓̋͊̾́͋̓̆͂̓̀̾̓̽̂̚̕͜͝Ş̵̨̭̤̞̙͙̣͈̫̳̦̬̤̠̈̀̆̒̉̀̔̉̽́̏̈́̓̌͆̀̎͂̓̕̚͝͝͠͠ͅͅͅZ̶̧̗͈̘̬̙̜̘̞̮̱̊͆́͐̅́̾̔̃ͅO̸͇̜͈̦̟̻̦͓̖̘͎̗̦͇͖̼̪̞͉̫̳̩̥̠̺̳̒̄̓́̌͊̈́̎̕̕Ơ̷̧̧̧̨̟͓͈̹̗͕̟̦̻̣̦͎̹̘͖͓̺̙̥͚̺̫͉͇̩͖̥̙̟̞̩͓̙̬͔͎̻̹̞͙̈́̽̉͂̇̉̍̓̐̓̒̍́͋̐̎͛̈́̍̈̂̃̏̾̐͌̑̅͆͋̑̓̽̀̊̋̕̚͘̚͜͜ ̴̨̡̛͉͙͈̙̪̖͙̦͍̮̯̩̤̘͙͈̯̩͎̞̥̏̂̏́̇͌̊̎͊͌̔̔́̑̿͂̄̓̆̀͘͜͜͠͝͝͝ͅK̶̨̡̧̛̲̮͍̭̠̝͙̟̮̖̭̦̟͉͉͙͉̪̠̹͔͚͉̱̰̬̳̙̫̼̩͑̈́̈͑͗̿̽̾͐͗̌̍̈́̌͂͗̒̈́̉̈́̽̒̾́͂͆̆͗̌̐͘̚͘͜͝͠I̷̢̡̛̫̲̦̹̮͐̾̋̽͂Z̷̧̡̛̮̲̲̻͈̹͕̻̻̬̺̯̼̝͕͎̩̜̼̙̹̜͈͉̞̠̥͕̣̙̤̝̜̟̰̩̗̲̘̤͙͖̳̄͋̏̽̋͐̂͌͌̉̀͘͝͝Ŗ̷̨̺͉̙̭̝̟͚̣͙̘̮͎͚̩͎̼̦̰̫̟̺̼͈̩̮͎̜̳̟̞͎͕͎̀̂̎͒̈́̾̓͗̈́̃͑͛̃̔̊̄́̇̒̐͐̈́͛͐́̐̀̒͐͂͘̚̚͝͠ͅH̴̢̛̛̛͖̼͇̰̝̝̟͇͈̯̲͎͙͎̞͖͚̘̫̘̠̪͎̯̻̟̜̱͉͎͎̳̳͍͚̺̬͖̤̤͖̝̯̀̇́́͆̀̇̓͒̂̈́̉̋͂̆̓̒̐̒̇̀̉̽͛̾̒͒̇͆̕̚̕͝͝ͅͅͅV̴̧̢̡̡̡̧̛̛̛̮̠̣̖̫̲͈͎̼̘͓̳̫̮̰̭̟̲̹̮̝̺̯̹̙͎̺̣̗͖͖̙͕͖̖̞͚̞͍̘̘̓̑͊̀͑͒̀̈͛͛̊́̐̎̇̒̉̓̓͌̈́͒̍̇͌̔́̽̾̍̆̿͌͒̇͘͘̚͘̚͘̚̚͜͠͠͝ͅͅ ̶̡̡̧̨̧͔͚̣̼̞̞̻̹͓̞̮̠̳͓͎͍͓͖̗̰͔̙͖͔͉͕̐̓͐͜͜ͅB̸̩̹̖͔̬̤̘͚̪͉̳͔̹̈͐̇̌͂́̂̃̍͑̏͗̏̌̑̒̎͊̐͂̈́̇̈́̆͗͑͗͗͘̚͘͝͝͝͝L̴̡̧̡̧̛͙̩͇͍̘̝̱͎͓͓͕̜͉̟͚̥̘͎͇̮̜̮͈͎̳͇̗̲̩̩̬͎͚̬̯͚̠̟̥̫̯͍̰͕̊̿̾̆́̍̐͂́̇͆͋͑̋̏̐̄́̈̌͌̎̀̌̇̆̄̿̃̍̊͆̌͆̽͛͑̈͐̾͘̚͘̚̚ͅͅF̸̨̧̪̣̟̹̰͕̙̪̠̜͓̮̣͓̙̩͈̫̼̼̪͔̺͚̈́́́̓͋̀̂̑̕͜Į̴̢̡̨̢̨͖̦̫͎̱̟͖̘̩̹̪͖̯̦̝̦͇͖̤̰̹̠̣̭̥̟͍̭͍̱̫̝̻̮̝̥̦̗͖̝͗̐̿͋̈́̏̏͘̚̕ͅͅͅ ̶̡̢̨̧̨̛̛̠̙͈͚͎̖̤̼̮͚̝͓̘̲̼̮͕͓͚͈̤̲̹͚̠̼̓͐͆̌̌̊̃͌͌̋̀̽̌͆͝ͅF̴̛̛̛̫͇̠̝̝͓̩̰̝̩̟̞̖̘̟̪̳̞̠̞͕̣͒̃̔̌̿̔͒͌͆̑̏̽̂͛̃̍͌̉͆̓͐̈́͌̃͗́̀́̏̓͂̇̉͌͌͌̑̉͒̽͊̂̚͜͝ͅM̵̨̧̡̧̧̛̱͎̼̥̮͈͍͉͎̭̬̳̞̘̞̠͇̫̹͚̘̭̮͉̻͉̝̬̯̦̹̞̳̰̻̩̝̖̠̫̺̊̿̈́̊̌̏͆̀̇̐̚͜͠ͅͅS̴̡͙̮̗̥̺̬̼͙̥̤̬͔̩̮̙̮̩̱͓͙̙̜͓̜̟͍͓̭̠̦̘̖̙̟̲͙̲͉̮̩̄̉̈́̎̀̆̐̃͊̅͛͌̿̋̂͊̎̿͑̓̐̐͌̚͘̚̚͜͠͠ͅL̶̡̧̧͍̤̜̝̬̲̹̹̘̥̩̻͎̘̹͈͙̤̲̰̭̦̬̲̣̂͐̎̎̐̋͒̀̑̽͛̅̽̊̅́̈́̓͜ͅO̶̪͕̖̬̟͌̎B̶̨̧̢̨̧̡̛̥̰̳̬̬̘̙̰̞͚̜͙͔̘̜̩̗͓̼͇̹̊̈̀͊̓̿̄͂̑̈́̓͋̽͆͊̓̑̓̆̃͂́̚̕͘̚͘͠͝͝ ̸̣͚͎̬͙͓̺̠̺̻̤̦̯͙͈̬̗̜͔̬̃̅̄͜M̷̢̧̡͉̠̘͍͇͇͔̺̟̣̬͔͔͎̭͎͕̤̪͇͓̖̤̠̘͈̹̝̲͔̗̭̲̰̝̈̔̒̽͂͠ͅͅZ̸̨̢̧̡̢̠͚̟̤̲̩͍͇̜͉̻̞̞̭̤̹͙̩͍̞̙͔͖͖̞̯̰͉̬͙̫̹̘͎̫̏͆̾̂͗͌͋͑̽́̏̈̓̓̆̑̊̑̒̃͛̓̀͗̂̒̈́͋̐̐̀͘͘͘̚͠͝Ņ̴͉̹͆́̐͑̈̃͐̂̀̎͌͋̒͊̾̏̑̊͑͂̑̓̀̕͘͠͝͠V̵̢̨̡̡̧̨̢̡̯̖̤͎̹͓͈̘̻͎͚͉̻̠͍̺̻̺̩͍̩̰̜̦̺̫̟̙̯̖̼̤̦̦̪͓͎̺́͊͊̓̈̑̈̽̓̏͌́̿̎̍͌́͗́͒͆͋́̔͊͜͝
Pluto: Jesus Christ, that took up a good paragraph.
[Laugh track]
Dr. Brown Bear: HAIL SATAN!
[SpongeBot comes back from death]
SpongeBot: Hi!
Jess: My mum!
Aaron: My daughter!
Zoltan: My dinner maker!
Daddy Pig: My distant relative!
Pluto: Stop showing the camera to me during these emotional times.
[laugh track, and then a group hug ensued.]
SpongeBot: I’m so glad I’m alive again!
Zoltan: Yeah, me too! This is the best family ever.
Elmo 5: We are happy family.
SpongeBot: Aww. That’s cute.
Zoltan: You know, all of this happiness makes me have to piss, I’ll be right back everyone.
[Zoltan goes to the toilet]
SpongeBot: Well this is awkward.
[Several screams are heard, Zoltan comes out]
SpongeBot: Oh hey, welcome back Zoltan. Did you have a nice piss?
Zoltan: It was great actually. By the way, have you ever killed any Romanians? As- Asking for a friend.
SpongeBot: Oh no, this was all in a dream I had.
Zoltan: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
[Laugh track.]
Narrator: Zoltan is supposed to be dead.
Zoltan: Wait what the fuck?
Narrator: Jesus Christ, I don’t get paid enough for this.
[laugh track]
Zoltan: Oh yeah, I am supposed to die. 
[Zoltan fucking dies]
SpongeBot: I don't think that's how it works.
Narrator: Zoltan died of testicular cancer.
SpongeBot: Oh that explains it. HOLY CRAP! ZOLTAN IS DEAD!
CrazySponge: Well it was bound to happen eventually.
[A houses crushes CrazySponge]
SpongeBot: oh god oh fuck
[Laugh track. Pluto walks in. Applause and cheers.]
Pluto: Hello everyo- Woah ass ahoy, Zoltan fucking died!
SpongeBot: Huh I hadn’t noticed.
[Doorbell rings.]
SpongeBot: Who’s ringing the doorbell during my husband’s death?
[SpongeBot opens the door to find Zoltan’s Mum. Applause and cheers.]
Zoltan’s Mum: How’s my least favorite in-laws?
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: Ma'am I hate to break it to you but your son is dead.
Zoltan’s Mum: Nonsense, he is probably on his period.
SpongeBot: You want to smell his corpse?
Zoltan's Mum: mmmmmm yes
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: He's right over there. [points to a dead Zoltan, and his mum sniffs him]
Zoltan's Mum: DEAR GOD, HIS PERIOD HAS GOTTEN WORSE!
[Laugh track]
God: Someone called?
SpongeBot: Not now God.
[Laugh track. God disappears.]
Zoltan’s Mum: Wait, why didn’t you ask him to make Zoltan not be on his period?
[Jess notices Zoltan]
Jess: What’s up with Zoltan?
Zoltan's Mum: period
[Laugh track.]
Jess: I dunno he looks dead to me.
Zoltan’s Mum: I must call his brother, he must hear this.
Jess: Dad has a brother?
[Tan walks in. Applause and cheers.]
Tan: Have you heard about this producer named Dan Schneider? God, I hope he isn’t a pervert.
[laugh track]
Zoltan’s Mum: Good morning, Tan. Your brother is dead.
[Laugh track.]
Tan: WHAT?! Which one? I have like 30.
[Laugh track]
Zoltan’s Mum: Zoltan.
Zoltan: I am dead.
Zoltan’s Mum: Shut up, you are dead.
Zoltan: Oh right. [dies again]
SpongeBot: God damn it God.
God: [shrugs]
[laugh track]
Tan: I can’t believe it… first Suzy Sheep and now my own brother!
Jess: Do you know how we can bring Zoltan back, uncle Tan?
SpongeBot: Wait a second, I just remembered something that nobody remembers about. Aren't you Luz from the Owl House?
Jess: I don’t even know anymore.
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: Can't you like try using your witchy powers to bring Zoltan back to life?
Jess: Well… I can try, but I don't make any promises.
Pluto: Maybe we need to make a deal with the Grim Reaper or something.
Director: Cut-cut. [Walks over to Pluto] What the fuck, you couldn’t wait to say that? Where was the suspense? Alright, let’s redo that. Action.
Pluto: yeah I'm not redoing that scene. Anyway, what do you guys think?
[Elmo 5 crawls in]
Elmo 5: Dadda?
Pluto: I’m gonna go to sleep for a very long time, because the director will kill me if I don’t. Goodbye everyone.
Jess: Sweet dreams, lesbianator prince.
Pluto: I’m your husband.
Jess: Right, I totally remembered that.
[laugh track]
Jess: Anyway like I was saying, I could try to use my magic to bring Zoltan back. [she pulls out a magic spell book and pages through it] Aha! The revival spell.
Zoltan’s Mum: You idiot he's supposed to be dead.
[Laugh track]
Jess: Not for long, hopefully. 
Elmo 5: I want my dad back, and yes, I can unironically speak in full sentences.
Jess: Shut up infant. It's time for the revival spell. Here goes… Quamvis XIII cento hominum conplectatur, nigri LIII cento criminis committunt!
[The spell doesn’t work, as Zoltan is still dead, but we hear a loud Hoopla down the street.]
SpongeBot: You just killed Aidan!
Jess: oh god oh fuck
[Laugh track because CrazySponge dying is still funny in 2022 apparently.]
Tan: You guys still do that?
Jess: Wait, isn't there a series about him dying or something?
SpongeBot: We don’t talk about that.
Tan: Huh, apparently the series is still going and it is now run by Zoltan and airs on Zig-Zag. You should probably check it out.
[Laugh track because we became an ad]
Jess: Yeah no.
[Existant walks in]
Existant: i'm a communist and my dad is a nazi.
Tan: OFF TOPIC!
[laugh track]
Elmo 5: Mommy, is daddy dead?
SpongeBot: No, he’s… invisible.
Elmo 5: Do you think I’m [FANDOM CENSORED]?
SpongeBot: Well yes but, he’s invisible.
[laugh track because r word funny]
Fandom: HEY! NO SLURS!
[laugh track because Fandom]
SpongeBot: I've already been globalled before, just take me in already.
Elmo 5: Don’t worry, with my autism powers I can revive Zoltan.
SpongeBot: Wait really?
Elmo 5: Yeah, but I need some ice cream to do it.
SpongeBot: There's always some in the fridge.
Elmo 5: Yay thanks mommy!
[Elmo 5 opens the fridge to find no ice cream]
Elmo 5: Mom you lied to me! There's no ice cream in here!
SpongeBot: I wonder who ate it last?
[Jess walks in again, eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream.]
Jess: Mmmm, guys this chocolate ice cream is delicious. Clearly the perfect winter snack.
[laugh track] 
SpongeBot: YOU EEJIT! YOU ATE ALL THE ICE CREAM!
Jess: Zoltan would be so mad right now.
[Laugh track.]
SpongeBot: Well fuck me, where are we supposed to get more ice cream from?
Jess: I dunno, Tesco?
SpongeBot: We’re banned from there, remember?
Jess: How the fuck does someone get banned from Tesco?!
SpongeBot: Remember the turkey incident?
[Laugh track. They all hear someone speaking French in the distance]
SpongeBot: Oh no… not the French!
French Guy: Bonjour, bitches!
[Laugh track because French is funny.]
Jess: I hate to ask you out of all people but, do you have any ice cream?
French Guy: Oui I do! Le special French ice cream, hoh hoh! But first, you must do me a favor. 
SpongeBot: I dread what this favour is.
French Guy: J'ai besoin de baguettes.
SpongeBot: Je ne parle pas français.
[laugh track]
French Guy: I need baguettes you connard.
SpongeBot: Oh I see. Isn't that just bread but French sounding?
French Guy: No, baguettes are special and different from other kinds of bread. 
SpongeBot: Yeah whatever. I'll just go to the supermarket or something, be right back.
[One trip to the supermarket later…]
SpongeBot: Okay here's the stupid baguettes you requested. [hands French Guy the bag of baguettes]
French Guy: Yum!
[He eats one]
French Guy: This is very dry. Can you give me some German sausage?
SpongeBot: I thought you were French.
French Guy: Well yes, but I tried some of Mike’s sausage once and it tasted great!
[Laugh track because gay]
SpongeBot: Well I guess I'll just ask the man himself. Is Mike even still here?
Mike: Yes, you called?
SpongeBot: Could we have some of your German sausage?
Mike: That sounds hella sus not gonna lie.
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: I'm serious.
Mike: Well fine, but first, can you sell one of my paintings?
[pause]
SpongeBot: *sigh* Yes…
Mike: Fuck yeah!
SpongeBot: Wait, I didn't know you were an artist.
Mike: Oh yeah, I went to art school actually.. or at least I got rejected from one.
SpongeBot: Aw. Which one?
Mike: The Academy of Fine Arts, Vienna, Austria.
[laugh track]
Elmo 5: Mommy, when can I eat my ice cream?
SpongeBot: Soon, go play in your room while I talk with your grandparents.
Elmo 5: Okay!
[Elmo 5 walks into her room where Elmo 3 and 4 are]
Elmo 5: Hi brothers 3 and 4!
Elmo 3: Why is this imbecile female here?
Elmo 4: I don’t know, she is so annoying.
Elmo 3: We have to get rid of her!
[Cut back to SpongeBot and Mike]
SpongeBot: So how am I going to sell one of your paintings anyway?
Mike: Just sell it to anyone, surely someone will want to buy it.
[Six hours pass, and no one buys Mike’s painting]
Mike: Verdammte Juden, why won’t anyone buy my painting?
SpongeBot: Maybe because your paintings look like the ass of a hippopotamus.
[laugh track]
Mike: THEY ARE NOT THE ASS OF A HIPPO, YOU HURE.
SpongeBot: Wait, I have an idea.
[SpongeBot takes a picture of Mike’s painting with her phone.]
SpongeBot: There. It’s an NFT now.
Mike: NOOOOOO
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: But I thought you liked NFTs.
Mike: BUT BUT BUT-
SpongeBot: How else am I supposed to sell it then?
Mike: Tan might buy it off of ya.
SpongeBot: *sigh* I’m gonna be here all day, aren’t I?
Mike: Ja, du bist.
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: TAN!!!!
[Tan runs into the room]
Tan: Isn’t it funny that around the same time I started watching iCarly I also got a foot fetish?
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: Hey Tan, do you wanna buy this painting?
Tan: Was it on the set of iCarly?
SpongeBot: Um-
Tan: Is it a Bob Ross painting?
SpongeBot: …perhaps.
[laugh track]
Tan: Great! How much is it?
SpongeBot: I don’t know. I never thought I’d get this far.
Mike: How much you got?
Tan: Uh… I have one Chuck E. Cheese coin.
Mike: That works for me.
SpongeBot: GREAT! FINAL-
Tan: But I can’t buy it right now.
SpongeBot: FOR F*CK’S SAKE!
Tan: I have to finish this iCarly episode! But speaking of iCarly, could you buy me this Victorious DVD?
[pause]
SpongeBot: …and who the hell do I have to buy that from?
Tan: I dunno. Zoltan’s Mum used to buy them for me.
SpongeBot: Oh my fucking God. And where is Zoltan’s Mum?
Tan: Last I checked she was in the garden. She said something like “If fish can live underwater, then so can I!” And then she went into the pool.
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: Okay, I’m going to the pool.
[Cut to Elmo 3 and Elmo 4 planning]
Elmo 3: Okay, so we need to kill her somehow, but how?
Elmo 4: Woah there, 3, she is our sister! We can’t kill her!
Elmo 3: But she gets all the attention! It’s not fair!
Elmo 4: Maybe we should just get her out of this house.
Elmo 3: Of course! Let’s give her to another family!
Elmo 4: Well I didn’t really mean it like that, I just-
Elmo 3: You are a genius, 4!
Elmo 4: Well yes, I am.
[Laugh track; cut to SpongeBot walking out into the garden to find Zoltan’s Mum dead in the pool. Laugh track.]
SpongeBot: Hey… Zoltan’s Mum?
[pause]
SpongeBot: Zoltan’s Mum?
[pause]
SpongeBot: get free sex at sex dot com
[Zoltan’s Mum suddenly undies.]
Zoltan’s Mum: FREE SEX?
[laugh track]
Zoltan’s Mum: Oh it’s you. The bloody hell do you want?
SpongeBot: Do you have any Victorious DVDs I can have to give to Tan so I can sell a painting to him to get a German sausage from Mike to go with French Guy’s french baguette so I can buy some special ice cream from him to un-kill your son.
Zoltan’s Mum: Well that’s a bit excessive.
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: But do you have one?
Zoltan’s Mum: I do believe I do, love.
SpongeBot: Oh thank fu-
Zoltan’s Mum: On one condition.
SpongeBot: …what’s the condition?
Zoltan’s Mum: Set me up with Scatman John and the DVD is yours.
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: You want me to make Scatman John fall in love with you so I can get a Victorious DVD?
Zoltan’s Mum: Do you want the DVD or not?
SpongeBot: They go for like £1.50 at CeX! This really isn’t that big of an ask!
Zoltan’s Mum: MAKE THE SCATMAN LOVE ME!
SpongeBot: JESUS CHRIST OKAY!
[cut to SpongeBot in a graveyard]
SpongeBot: Now where is he?
[She finds a grave with Scatman John written on it]
SpongeBot: Uh… I’m calling out from Scatland…
[Scatman comes back from death]
Scatman: I’m calling out from Scatman’s World!
SpongeBot: Hey John, want to date someone?
Scatman: Sure, what’s their name?
SpongeBot: Zoltan’s Mum.
Scatman: But what’s her real name?
SpongeBot: That is her real name.
Scatman: Well it’s a weird name, but I would still date her.
SpongeBot: GREAT!
[Cut to Elmo 5 in the living room with Jess]
Elmo 5: Jess, if we are in the living room why doesn’t dad just live again?
Jess: Because that’s called irony, young Muppet.
[Daddy Pig enters the room]
Daddy Pig: Hi everyone. I heard that Zoltan died, so I thought I would bring Suzy Sheep to be with him.
Jess: What?
Daddy Pig: I brought her dead body here.
[Laugh track]
Jess: But isn’t Suzy Sheep a lesbian?
Daddy Pig: Peppa has been very distraught at the death of her little girlfriend. It’s a shame her life had to end like this.
Narrator: To donate money for the Sheep family, go to www.freesex dot com…
[Laugh track]
Daddy Pig: I will put the body right next to Zoltan.
[Daddy Pig puts mutton on a plate next to Zoltan; laugh track]
Jess: Oh wow, is that really her?
Daddy Pig: Yes.
Elmo 5: tasty!
Jess: NO ELMO! SUZY IS NOT FOOD!
Elmo 5: Oh, but she smells delicious.
Jess: Daddy Pig, did you really have to put her dead body here?
Daddy Pig: Yes! Now I am going to be sleeping.
Jess: Great, I should do that too.
Elmo 5: I am going to play outside!
[Elmo’s 3 & 4 enter]
Elmo 5: Hi brothers!
Elmo 3: Enough chit-chat, you blasted buffoon.
Elmo 4: We’re here to sell you to another family.
Elmo 5: But isn’t slavery illegal?
Elmo 3: It isn’t slavery, but it may be illegal.
[Laugh track]
Elmo 5: That doesn’t sound good.
Elmo 4: Just… look! There’s ice cream in the bag!
Elmo 5: HOORAY!
[Elmo 5 jumps into the bag and the other Elmos grab it]
Elmo 3: We got her, let’s get this bag out of here!
[Cut to Scatman and Zoltan’s Mum dating]
Zoltan’s Mum: You are so beautiful!
Scatman: You are too, Zoltan’s Mum!
Zoltan’s Mum: Why thank you!
[They kiss, and Scatman dies]
Zoltan’s Mum: Why does this always happen?
[Laugh track; Cut to SpongeBot coming back into the house]
SpongeBot: Hey Tan, here’s the DVD you wanted.
Tan: Finally, so what did you want me to do?
SpongeBot: Buy the f*cking painting.
Tan: Okay, okay! Here’s your Chuck E. Cheese coin.
[Tan gives the coin to Mike]
Mike: I AM RICH! HERE’S THE PAINTING!
[Mike gives Tan the painting]
Tan: I am going to watch iCarly now.
[Tan disappears]
Mike: Oh, and here’s the Würst.
[Mike gives SpongeBot a sausage]
SpongeBot: GREAT! Now all I need to do is give it to French Guy!
Mike: Yeah, do that! I’m going to make NFTs now!
[Cut to SpongeBot talking to French Guy]
French Guy: And you went through all that just so I can give you ice cream?
SpongeBot: Yeah.
French Guy: Well it’s almost done…
[SpongeBot waits for a few seconds]
SpongeBot: Is it done yet?
French Guy: Almost… and… any second now… it’s…FINISHED!
SpongeBot: FINALLY!
[SpongeBot grabs the ice cream]
French Guy: It will be 50 Euros.
SpongeBot: Go fuck yourself.
French GUy: Whatever, I’m going back to France!
[SpongeBob starts searching for Elmo 5]
SpongeBot: Elmo 5! Where are you?
[Elmo 3 appears]
Elmo 3: Mother, your daughter said that she is leaving this house to find a new family.
SpongeBot: WHAT?!
Elmo 3: She is no longer here.
SpongeBot: ELMO 5! HERE’S YOUR ICE CREAM!
[Elmo 5 appears]
Elmo 3: WHAT THE?!
Elmo 5: Ice cream!
[She eats all of it]
Elmo 5: That was quite tasty.
SpongeBot: So will you revive Zoltan now?
Elmo 5: Yeah. !vhri lg vnrg h'gR !kvvoh g'mlW !vpzdz vY .dlm gstri pzvkh R wzvw vsg lG
[Suzy Sheep comes back to life]
Suzy Sheep: Oh my God, I’m alive!
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: The wrong person? Again? Why does this keep happening?
[Jess wakes up]
Jess: NO! THE PEPPA PIG ROLEPLAY BIBLE STATES: “Suzy Sheep mustn’t be alive.”
Suzy Sheep: Damn it. *dies*
[Laugh track]
Daddy Pig: WHA- SUZY SHEEP WAS ALIVE AGAIN?!
Jess: No, it was all a dream.
Daddy Pig: Oh okay. *falls asleep*
[Laugh track]
Elmo 5: oops
[The Grim Reaper appears]
Grim Reaper: Fucking hell mate, I’m tired of these accidental revivals. Can you people revive responsibly for once?
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: Hi Grim Reaper.
[Laugh track]
Jess: Hello!
Grim Reaper: What do you want?
SpongeBot: Hmm… Do you have the soul of Zoltan?
Grim Reaper: Well yes, I do.
SpongeBot: GREAT! Can you give it to me?
Grim Reaper: Well… if you do me a favour.
Jess: Oh my God, you’re British.
SpongeBot: *sigh* What is it?
Grim Reaper: Give me the soul of Dead Squidward.
SpongeBot: …how?
Grim Reaper: Give me his credit card.
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: Okay…
[SpongeBot gives a fake credit card to the Grim Reaper]
Grim Reaper: Thank you!
SpongeBot: So can we get Zoltan’s soul back now?
Grim Reaper: Yeah.
[The Grim Reaper gives SpongeBot the soul of Zoltan]
SpongeBot: Goodbye!
Grim Reaper: Bye.
[SpongeBot takes the fake credit card back from the Grim Reaper as he leaves]
SpongeBot: Okay, with my Super Advanced Doxxing Device, I can get his full address just from his fingerprints!
[Laugh track. She scans the credit card.]
SpongeBot: Hmm… It seems that the Grim Reaper lives in… Vancouver!
[Laugh track.]
Jess: What?
SpongeBot: Canada is the last place I expected the Grim Reaper to live in.
Jess: So are we reviving Zoltan or?
SpongeBot: Oh right.
[SpongeBot throws Zoltan’s soul into his body, and he comes back to life]
Zoltan: I’M ALIVE AGAIN!
SpongeBot: YES!
Jess: Everyone! Look! Zoltan is back!
Elmo 5: I did this!
[Laugh track]
Jess: Sure…
[Liz enters]
Liz: Oh, hi Zoltan.
[Daddy Pig wakes up]
Daddy Pig: Is it Easter?
Zoltan: …no?
Daddy Pig: Well then I am going back home.
[Daddy Pig leaves]
SpongeBot: Well Zoltan, welcome back!
Zoltan: I need a drink.
[Laugh track]
Jess: Good ol’ Zoltan!
SpongeBot: Oh look, Suzy’s remains are still here. I am going to put them on the dinner table, I’m sure that this decision won’t result in hilarious consequences.
[Laugh track]
Zoltan: Yeah, I’m sure absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen because of this. Cheers!
French Narrator: The next day…
[Cut to the kitchen]
Zoltan: Babe I love you.
SpongeBot: Aww I love you too.
Zoltan: Now that I’m alive again, start making lunch, woman.
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: Alright, fine. I’ll make you some cooked sheep.
Zoltan: YAY
[SpongeBot starts cooking lunch]
Suzy Sheep: what the hell
SpongeBot: I don’t think it is supposed to be alive. Eh, it’s probably still edible.
[Laugh track]
Suzy Sheep: STOP! IT HURTS!
SpongeBot: Aww… It’s so cute!
Suzy Sheep: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
SpongeBot: Maybe if I throw fire on it it will stop screaming.
[SpongeBot throws fire at her]
Suzy Sheep: OH MY GOD I AM DYING BUT I AM ALREADY DEAD
SpongeBot: Shut up, and be food!
[Laugh track]
Suzy Sheep: äĐđĐíđä[đäß[äđí[äßđí[|Í[a
[Suzy Sheep dies]
SpongeBot: Finally, it stopped.
[The stove starts burning]
SpongeBot: oops
[Laugh track]
Peppa Pig Narrator: Oh dear. SpongeBot has started a fire!
Zoltan: SHUT YOUR WHORE ASS MOUTH
SpongeBot: QUICK, POUR SOME WATER ON IT!!
Zoltan: I got GGJ, if you want it.
[Jess walks in.]
Jess: Hey all, Jess he- woah fire ahoy!
SpongeBot: We’re kind of in the middle of a house crisis right now, Jess! HELP!
Jess: Sorry I never went to school for fire safety so you’re kinda on your own here.
SpongeBot: [sighs] Oh my God… 
[The fire alarm goes off.]
SpongeBot: Alright, everyone evacuate!
[Cut to the entire Full Server family standing outside the Full Server house, which isn’t even a house anymore because it has burned down.]
Pluto: It’s amazing none of us were harmed.
[Suddenly, a loud “Hoopla!” is heard from the building.]
Pluto: Oh god oh fuck
Peppa Pig Narrator: Oh dear, CrazySponge has died.
Zoltan: There’s an entire series about that. You should read it.
Jess: So, what do we do now?
Zoltan: We should call someone to rebuild the house.
Jess: Let’s call Daddy Pig!
Pluto: Oh my God! You always find a way to make everything about Daddy Pig!
Jess: No seriously, we should call Daddy Pig. He’s a qualified structural engineer.
Zoltan: Okay. SpongeBot, call Daddy Pig!
SpongeBot: I thought I was just a woman whose only purpose in life is to make food in the kitch-
Zoltan: CALL DADDY PIG!
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: *starts pushing numbers on her phone* Hi, Daddy Pig!
Daddy Pig: *on the phone* Is it Easter?
SpongeBot: No…
Daddy Pig: *phone* Then what do you want?
SpongeBot: Can you fix our house? It kind of… burned down.
Daddy Pig: *phone* Of course! I am a bit of an expert at building!
SpongeBot: Great! *hangs up the phone* Well that was easy.
Zoltan: Now what?
CartoonGuy: Let’s go on a road trip!
Jess: Ignacio, our house just burned down.
[laugh track]
CartoonGuy: ROAD TRIP!
SpongeBot: To…?
Zoltan: Yemen.
[Laugh track]
CartoonGuy: ROAD TRIP TO YEMEN!!
SpongeBot: You can’t be serious.
Zoltan: I’m as serious as Suzy Sheep’s death.
Jess: Technically doesn’t this mean Suzy Sheep caused our house to burn down?
Zoltan: I guess.
SpongeBot: She’s going to haunt us forever!
Aaron: Oh my God, what happened?
Zoltan: Oh hey Aaron, I forgot you existed.
Aaron: I was listening to Music.
Purple: Say there Caldwell, why do you snigger?
I snigger from all the niggling chiggers!
The snigger was triggered by niggling chiggers?
Indeed it was, now my sniggers grow bigger.
Sounds like you need a drink, take a swig from this jigger!
CartoonGuy: ooh slurs
Purple: Actually, for your information, Ignacio, they weren’t slurs. Snigger is an alternative way of saying snicker, which means chuckle. Niggling means annoying, and a chigger is a tropical flea. And a jigger is simply just a small, round metal container used for measuring strong alcoholic drinks, or the amount of alcohol that this container holds.
Aaron: Alright I think we get the point, Joel, you’re a racist.
Purple: I AM NOT A RACIST! I’m just an ironic racist!
[Laugh track]
Dan: Why did we have to leave? I was about to orgasm!
SpongeBot: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but can we just go to Yemen already?
Zoltan: Pack your bags everyone, we’re going to Yemen!
SpongeBot: Zoltan, all our stuff burned down in the house. All I have left with me is my phone, which I only have three pirated shows I can watch o- OH MY GOD THERE'S BRAND NEW BUBBLE GUPPIES WEEKENDS FROM 9 ON NICK JR UK!
Zoltan: [slaps the phone out of SpongeBot’s hand] NO PIRACY!
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: So this is gonna be like one of those cartoon episodes, huh?
Zoltan: Yup! And you’re going to drive!
SpongeBot: But then I can’t watch 5star while on the road!
Zoltan: TOO BAD!
SpongeBot: But I wanted to watch home and awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
[laugh track]
Zoltan: You can watch it when Daddy Pig finishes rebuilding the house.
SpongeBot: Fine.
Zoltan: Wait, you drank LOTS of alcohol, right?
SpongeBot: As always.
Zoltan: Great! Let’s go!
[Cut to everyone in a stolen RV with their things, with SpongeBot ready to drive]
Jess: Wait, stolen? Since when?
Zoltan: Since now.
[Laugh track. SpongeBot turns on the engine and starts driving along the road]
Jess: And the road trip has begun! Ooh ooh, can we sing the road trip song from SpongeBob?
Pluto: No honey, we’d get copyright claimed by Viacom.
Jess: DAMN IT!
[Laugh track]
Pluto: But we can sing the Hot Diggity Dog song from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!
Jess: How about a compromise and we sing the Peppa Pig theme song?
Pluto: Fine by me.
Jess: Alright then. I'm Peppa Pig. [oinks]
SpongeBot: I'm not playing along, I need to focus on driving.
CartoonGuy: This is my little brother George. [farts]
Jess: Did you fart instead of oink like a normal person?
CartoonGuy: Hey I had to get it out somehow.
Zoltan: NO FART JOKES!
CartoonGuy: What's wrong with pedo jokes?
Zoltan: Okay those are fine.
[Laugh track, Zoltan’s phone starting ringing, and he picks it up.]
Zoltan: Zoltan City, what’s your favorite color?
Daddy Pig: (on phone) Hi, it’s Daddy Pig. So er, I’ve just run the numbers and to build your new house I’ll require one thousand, eight hundred quid per square meter.
Zoltan: Don’t worry Daddy Pig I can give you all of SpongeBot’s mon- I mean my money.
Daddy Pig: Cool, thank you for your patronage. Your new house should be finished in around one year, with an additional year prior to that for research and pre-planning.
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: WOAH WOAH WOAH!
Daddy Pig: What? You can’t expect me to build an entire house in a few hours!
Zoltan: YOU NEED TO SPEED UP!
Daddy Pig: Speed up? I mean… you could always buy our fast track pass.
[Zoltan turns to SpongeBot.]
SpongeBot: Fuck it.
Daddy Pig: Thank you. Your house will be completed in about an hour.
Zoltan: Thanks Daddy Pig. (hangs up)
Jess: Daddy Pig is so nice.
Zoltan: I know, right? I hope we don’t end up in Slovenia.
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: Wait what is that on the road the-
[SpongeBot runs over someone]
Zoltan: WHAT THE?!
Jess: What was that?!
SpongeBot: I thought it was Big Bird but then I realised it was Ned Flanders.
[Laugh track]
Zoltan: Oh okay.
[Laugh track]
Jess: I forgot he was a character in the series.
[Cut to Ned Flanders on the road]
Ned Flanders: Hi diddly ho, car that ran over me.
[Laugh track as he dies. Cut back to the family in the car.]
Jess: Are we almost in Yemen?
SpongeBot: No idea, I am drunk as fuck right n-
[SpongeBot collapses on the wheel. Laugh track.]
Jess: OH GOD OH FUCK WE’VE LOST HER!
Zoltan: Yeah, and?
[Laugh track]
Jess: NO ONE’S DRIVING THE CAR!
Zoltan: I don’t really see how that’s a problem.
CartoonGuy: HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS?!
Zoltan: I dunno but first, a word from our sponsor:
[Ad break]
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Director: What? No! Today's sponsor is Honey!
Ad guy: Oh okay. Download Honey to get a coupon on NordVPN so you can play Raid Shadow Legends without getting caught! Also you can look up all the CP you want!
Director: Okay you jumped the shark there.
Ad guy: Shark? Like Surfshark? It’s great! It allows you to create multiple accounts on Squarespace! Which is a great site to make websites on! And then look up Skillshare where they share how to buy a Ridge Wallet! And if you make typoes, just use Grammarly, which I have a book about that you can listen to on Audible with Raycon! Also eat food from DoorDash and stream videos on Crunchyroll! Also use Dashlane to be safe! Your balls will thank you!
Director: OKAY that’s enough now back to Full Server.
[Ad break over]
Zoltan: Okay, who here knows how to drive?
Jess: I don't know how to drive, sorry.
Zoltan: YOU DO NOW!
[Zoltan pushes SpongeBot out of the driver's seat and puts Jess there instead. Laugh track]
Jess: We're all gonna die.
Zoltan: JUST DRIVE!
Jess: Okay okay fine.
[Zoltan’s phone rings again and he picks up the call]
Zoltan: Bruh
Jasbre: Is your refrigerator running?
Zoltan: JASBRE THE BLACK FUCK? I thought you died!
Jasbre: I AM NOT A BLACK DUCK! That's it. [hangs up, laugh track. Sirens are heard from behind]
Jess: Uh oh.
Pluto: What is it wife?
Jess: I hear sirens.
SpongeBot: [suddenly waking up] FUCK! IT’S THE POLICE! I’M NOT A PIRATE I SWEAR!
[laugh track]
Zoltan: JESS GO FASTER FASTER FASTER!
Pluto: I KNOWNRED FASTER THE RED FASTER
Jess: We're gonna die if I go any faster!
Zoltan: DEATH IS INEVITABLE, JUST FLOOR IT!
[Jess pushes the gas pedal harder, making the speedometer go up to 70 miles per hour.]
SpongeBot: Awesome, now I can finally watch Channel 5. [gets on her phone to watch Channel 5. Laugh track]
Jess: Uhh the door next to my seat just fell off. Is that normal?
SpongeBot: Yeah.
Jess: Okay thanks mum, love you.
[Laugh track]
Pluto: Do I smell smoke?
Zoltan: FUCK
Jess: Okay uh, I think at this point we should just jump ship and ditch the vehicle.
Pluto: I think I even SEE the smoke now.
SpongeBot: Why does Peppa Pig have a new voice actor?
[Laugh track]
Pluto: Yeah ditching the vehicle doesn't sound dangerous at all.
[They all start hearing a sizzling noise]
Zoltan: We need to get out NOW!
Jess: Okay, on the count of three. One… two… THREE!
[Everyone jumps out of the vehicle at once, which is now tumbling to its demise]
Pluto: Ouch that hurt a shit ton. Where are we anyway?
[They all look up to see a sign that says “Bienvenue en France bande de connards”. Laugh track]
Zoltan: Well that's not very nice. Also fuck we’re in France.
Jess: NOOOOOOOO
Pluto: Jessica! You were supposed to take us to Yemen!
Jess: Fuck! I knew I shouldn’t have merged without looking!
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: I guess we're gonna have to go to Yemen by foot.
Pluto: Which way even is Yemen?
SpongeBot: Beats me. Also I think SpongeBob has schizophrenia.
Zoltan: STOP WATCHING CHANNEL 5 AND BE A GOOD WIFE!
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: Sowwy.
[SpongeBot turns off her phone]
Zoltan: Good wife.
[Zoltan’s phone starts ringing and he picks it up]
Zoltan: Hello, I’m Zoltan City and I remember it so you don’t have to!
Daddy Pig: Okay, the house is finished!
Zoltan: HOORAY!
Daddy Pig: But I think there were some issues…
Zoltan: It can’t be that bad.
Daddy Pig: Hold on, I’ll just text you something.
[Daddy Pig texts Zoltan a picture of the new house. It is upside down.]
Peppa Pig Narrator: Oh dear. Daddy Pig has built the house the wrong way round.
Zoltan: WHAT THE FUCK DADDY PIG?! DO YOU LIVE IN AUSTRALIA?!
[laugh track]
Daddy Pig: It wasn’t my fault! It was the blueprints, I swear!
Zoltan: THEN REBUILD IT!
Daddy Pig: Okay, but that will cost-
Zoltan: I DON’T CARE! HERE’S MY WIFE’S AND DAD’S AND JESS’ MON- I mean my money.
[Laugh track]
Daddy Pig: Cool, thanks! Just Apple Pay me the money and I’ll get it sorted soon.
Zoltan: But I use Android.
Daddy Pig: Bye!
Zoltan: Bye.
[Zoltan hangs up the phone. Cut to the group walking down a French highway.]
Zoltan: Thanks to JESS, we’re lost in the middle of France! That’s the worst country there is!
SpongeBot: Wait, don’t you know someone in France we could ask for help, Zoltan?
Zoltan: Nope, I do not know anyone who lives in France whatsoever.
[Laugh track.]
Jess: No, I swear there was someone you know who lives here. I can’t remember his name though, it was like… France Man or something.
French Guy: Bonjour les baisers!
Zoltan: Oh my God it’s him again.
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: Oh French Guy, you have already arrived! Could you help us? See, we’re in a bit of a SpongeBother. We were trying to go to Yemen, but accidentally ended up in Paris.
French Guy: Vous vous êtes retrouvé à Paris en essayant de vous rendre au Yémen? Oh, c'est un cornichon en effet!
SpongeBot: Um, what did he say?
Zoltan: He said “fuck you”.
[Laugh track.]
French Guy: Get out of this country. I don’t want any British bastards here. This place is for the French only!
Jess: But we’re not British. We’re um… Australian.
CartoonGuy: G’day mate. Nice day for a barbie, eh?
French Guy: I do not give le fuck.
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: Can you at least give us a car or something?
French Guy: No, you dirty British!
SpongeBot: *sigh* Fine.
[SpongeBot jumps into French Guy’s car that appears out of nowhere]
SpongeBot: EVERYONE GET IN THE CAR!
French Guy: WHAT LE FUCK?!
[The whole family gets into the car]
Jess: Okay, I’ve played Mario Kart before so I’ll drive again.
Zoltan: Okay but if you take us to France again you’re fucking dead to me.
[Jess slams down on the accelerator and drives off.]
Jess: Oops I think I just hit someone.
French Guy: OW MY FUCKING LEG!
Jess: (yelling out the window) Sorry! Hope I didn’t break anything!
French Guy: MY LIFE IS LE FUCKING PAIN!
[Cut to the inside of the Full Server house’s neighbouring house, where Phil lives]
Phil: So for how long will you stay here?
Luis: Until Daddy Pig rebuilds the house and our family members come back from Yemen.
Phil: And when is that?
Luis: Hopefully today.
Phil: Thank God.
Luis: Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week.
Phil: I hate my life.
[Laugh track; Cut back to Jess driving the family straight down the middle of an empty open field somewhere.]
Zoltan: Daughter, are we there yet?
Jess: Hold on, let me check.
[Jess stops the car and checks the map.]
Jess: Okay so… we’ve arrived somewhere.
[Jess pulls the map down to reveal the Slovenian flag right in front of them.]
Jess: Huh, what kind of pride flag is that?
Zoltan: YOU BASTARD YOU TOOK US TO SLOVENIA!
[laugh track]
CartoonGuy: Isn’t this where Prim is?
SpongeBot: Why the fuck is Prim in Slovenia?
CartoonGuy: Don’t ask questions.
Zoltan: Wait, why is there a dead cat in the middle of the road?
Jess: Oh no I hope I didn’t run over a cat.
Zoltan: Ugh, now I’m horny.
CartoonGuy: Wait, I think it’s moving.
[The cat wakes up, revealing he’s Prim]
Jess: HOLY FUCK! PRIM! YOU’RE BACK!
Prim: hELLO! Waiiiiiit, is that you, SpogneSpongeBot?
SpongeBot: Prim?!
Zoltan: oh shit
[laugh track]
Prim: SpongeBot my lovely wife, please tell me that Elmo 3 is still alive!
SpongeBot: He is. And now there’s an Elmo 4 and 5.
Prim: I don’t remember them being born.
SpongeBot: Oh, funny story actually. Heh, you’re gonna laugh when you hear this. They were born after I married Zoltan.
Prim: YOU WHAT?!
SpongeBot: I thought you died and-
Prim: I can’t believe it! You cheated on me!
SpongeBot: I thought we broke up!
Prim: Oh right.
[Laugh track]
Pluto: Chaaaaaaaanging the subject, we need to get to Yemen.
Prim: Yemen? Then how the hell did you end up in Slovenia?
CartoonGuy: Don’t ask questions.
Prim: Well… luckily for you all I know exactly how to get to Yemen!
Jess: This is plot convenience at its finest.
CartoonGuy: Don’t ask questions.
[Laugh track]
Prim: I’d be more than happy to drive you all to Yemen… on one condition.
Pluto: Great! What’s the condition?
Prim: My bitch-ass cheating ex-wife isn’t coming.
[Pause.]
Zoltan: That seems fair to me.
SpongeBot: WHAT?!
[Cut to the car driving off. SpongeBot is hiding in the car’s trunk, the door keeps repeatedly opening and closing.]
Prim: We should get to Yemen in… five days give or take.
Jess: Can’t you just use a golden mushroom or something?
Prim: Oh right you play Mario Kart too. I do have a few in the trunk.
SpongeBot: FUCK
[Laugh track; cut to the rest of the family inside Phil’s house]
Purple: Black people.
PoopFan: I agree.
[Laugh track]
Elmo 4: Wait, where are mommy and daddy and Jess and Pluto and CartoonGuy?
Elmo 3: I think they left us here.
Elmo 4: Noo! *starts crying*
Elmo 3: Stop crying, they are idiots anyway. Play with 3, or something, I don’t know.
Elmo 5: *autism noises*
Elmo 3: I hate my family.
[Laugh track, cut back to Prim]
Prim: [in the trunk] Alright now where are those golden mushrooms? Why do I see a woman's ass? [shrugs] I've seen weirder things in my life. There’s the golden mushrooms. [He eats one] AWGOOGAWOOGAWOOGAWOOOOOOO
Jess: Prim are you fucking high?
Prim: yes
[Laugh track. Prim gets back in the driver's seat and they end up in another country]
Jess: FINALLY YEMEN!
[They see a pizza place]
Jess: FUCK! Where did you even take us Prim?
Prim: I have no idea how to drive to Yemen so I just went to Italy instead. 
[laugh track]
Zoltan: WHAT THE HELL?! YOU SAID YOU KNEW HOW TO GET TO YEMEN!
Prim: I lied and I like lasagna. Let's go inside.
Zoltan: oh okay
[Laugh track]
SpongeBot: I hate long journeys like these, speaking from experience.
Prim: Wait, SpongeBot?! How the fuck did you get here?
SpongeBot: I um… I’m not SpongeBot. I am… I don’t know who I am but I’m not SpongeBot.
Prim: Ah sorry for the mixup.
[They go inside the pizza place, and the Italian national anthem plays]
CartoonGuy: Ah yes. Finally some REAL music!
[Suddenly world-famous rugby player Jarvis Zagna walks in. The audience applauds and cheers.]
Jarvis Zagna: Oh my god! Son, you came home!
[Jarvis hugs CartoonGuy.]
Jarvis Zagna: I’ve missed you so much!
CartoonGuy: Dad! Not in front of my friends!
[Jarvis puts his son down.]
Jarvis Zagna: Oh, sorry. Are these your friends?
Jess: We’re the Full Server gang!
Pluto: We are not a gang.
Jarvis Zagna: So… what brings you all to Italy? Are you here for the lasagna?
Prim: Yes.
Pluto: No.
Zoltan: You see I wanted food so I asked my darling wife SpongeBot to make us a meal so she started cooking Suzy Sheep but she accidentally started a fire and the Full Server house burned down so we called Daddy Pig to help rebuild it and decided to go on a road trip to Yemen instead so SpongeBot started driving but got really drunk so Jess took over but she’s an idiot so the car exploded and we ended up in Paris where we stole French Guy’s car and got lost in Slovenia where we found Prim who we thought was dead but no he was just in Slovenia and Prim said he knew how to get to Yemen so he started driving us but he lied and he took us to Italy because he wanted lasagna and now we’re here.
[laugh track]
Jarvis Zagna: Hmm, it seems that you guys are in a bit of a pickle. How about I help you guys out?
SpongeBot: PLEASE.
Jarvis Zagna: I’ve got an autograph signing in like an hour, but we should be able to get to Yemen before then, right?
Zoltan: suuuuuurrrrrreeeeeeee
CartoonGuy: Ooh! Can I please drive while you read out the directions, Dad?!
Jarvis Zagna: Of course, son. But next time you’re visiting you and I are showering together.
[laugh track]
CartoonGuy: Deal!
[CartoonGuy gets into the car]
CartoonGuy: Everyone come in!
Pluto: Whew! Finally! We’re actually going to Yemen this time!
Prim: I’m staying here to eat some lasagna. You guys go on without me.
Jess: Oh… um, okay. Bye Prim!
Prim: Meow motherfuckers.
[Laugh track; Everyone except Prim hops in the car and the car drives off.]
Jess: Um, guys? I think I need the toilet.
[laugh track]
Zoltan: OH MY GOD JESS! WHY DIDN’T YOU GO IN ITALY?!
Jess: I DIDN’T NEED TO GO IN ITALY!
Zoltan: WE’VE ONLY JUST LEFT!
CartoonGuy: Just piss out the window or something.
Jess: oh okay
[laugh track]
Jarvis Zagna: Yemen’s the country with the pyramids, right?
[Laugh track]
French Narrator: One car ride later…
[The car pulls up somewhere.]
CartoonGuy: I have no idea how I drove here since I'm only thirteen but here we are.
French Guy: BONJOUR AGAIN CONNARDS!
Jess: OH MY GOD WE’RE IN FRANCE AGAIN!
[laugh track]
Zoltan: WHEN IS THIS MOVIE ENDING OH MY GOD
French Guy: Quoi?
SpongeBot: End it. End it already.
French Guy: So… how was Yemen?
SpongeBot: Funny thing, we haven’t actually gotten there yet.
French Guy: Ha! Perdants!
Jess: Look, French Guy, I know we haven’t been the nicest to you recently… but could you please finally help us get to Yemen?
French Guy: You stole my car earlier!
[Laugh track]
Pluto: Great! Can you take us to Yemen then?
French: *sigh* If you guys can buy me a baguette, I may be able to help you get to le Yémen.
Jess: THANK YOU!
French Guy: Now, where is my voiture?
CartoonGuy: Well we may have kind of damaged it a little…
[Pan over to French Guy’s car… which is completely destroyed.]
French Guy: Oh le fucking God.
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: You can still drive it, right?
French Guy: *sigh* I’ll try.
[Cut to the car FINALLY arriving at Yemen]
French Guy: Well, you are finally here. I can leave now. [stops existing]
Zoltan: God I hate that guy.
Jess: But guys, look! We’re in Yemen!
[The live studio audience cheers.]
Pluto: And look! It’s the Sira Castle!
Jarvis Zagna: The what?
SpongeBot: It’s the Poundland Eiffel Tower.
Zoltan: FINALLY! WE’RE IN YEMEN!
[Zoltan starts doing a victory dance.]
Zoltan: OH YEAH! WE’RE IN YEMEN! OH YEAH!
Jarvis Zagna: Wait, guys. If you don’t mind me asking… why did you want to come to Yemen?
SpongeBot: I don’t know. I didn’t think we’d get this far.
[laugh track]
Zoltan: We came all the way to Yemen to find Changler!
SpongeBot: Zoltan, I hate to break this to you… but Changler isn’t a real person. He’s a fictional character from the hit sitcom Friends.
[laugh track]
Zoltan: WHAT?!
SpongeBot: Yeah, sorry.
Zoltan: THIS MEANS WE CAME ALL THE WAY HERE JUST TO FIND CHANGLER, AND HE DOESN’T EVEN EXIST?
Jess: Oh no.
Zoltan: B-BUT CHANGLER HAS TO EXIST! SAYING CHANGLER DOESN’T EXIST IS LIKE SAYING EPSTEIN DIDN’T KILL HIMSELF!
Jess: But he did kill himself!
Zoltan: I HATE THIS. WE ARE GOING BACK HOME.
Pluto: Well this was fun. Kind of.
SpongeBot: *sigh* Get in the car, everyone.
Jess: Aw, come on! Can’t we stay in Yemen just for a little bit? I want to see if they have a Cex!
Zoltan: Nope, we are going home.
Jess: *sigh* Okay… goodbye Yemen! We’ll miss you!
[Cut to Daddy Pig finishing the house]
Daddy Pig: Okay, I think it’s almost done…
[The car arrives at the house]
Daddy Pig: Oh, hey guys!
[Everyone gets out of the car]
SpongeBot: That was the worst trip ever.
Jarvis Zagna: Um , you were supposed to drop me off back at Italy, remember?
CartoonGuy: oops
[Laugh track]
Daddy Pig: Well you’re here just in time! The house is finished!
[Shot of the new Full Server house. It is exactly the same as it was before. The audience cheers.]
Zoltan: Wow, Daddy Pig, it’s beautiful!
Daddy Pig: I know, right? Just like me.
Jess: Well, it’s definitely a house.
CartoonGuy: I like it.
Daddy Pig: Great! Then I’m going back home. See you all when it’s Easter!
Pluto: Wait, do you want to take Suzy Sheep’s dead body with you?
Daddy Pig: Oh, yes! Of course!
[Laugh track]
Pluto: Well, here it is.
[Pluto gives the body to Daddy Pig]
Daddy Pig: Thank you, now goodbye!
Jess: Bye Daddy Pig!
[Daddy Pig goes home]
SpongeBot: So… should we call Luis and the others back?
CartoonGuy: Nah, it will be funny to see how long it takes for them to realize the house has been rebuilt.
[laugh track]
Pluto: So that was a road trip.
Jess: It indeed was.
SpongeBot: Now, let’s all go back, and let’s watch Home and Awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Jarvis Zagna: Can I watch Home and Awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too?
Zoltan: no
[Laugh track. Everyone goes back into the house as happy music plays. The audience applauds and cheers. The credits roll as a song plays]
Despite making up only 13% of the population
Blacks commit 53% of the crime
#BlueLivesMatter
The Covid vaccine was made by satan
don we now our gay apparel
There are only 2 gender
And I also hate women
They belong in the kitchen!
There is evidence of fraud in the 2020 election
Trump is our true president!
The government can't force me to get vaccinated
Literally 1984.
Trump was actually reelected
STOP THE STEAL!
Woman shouldn't have the right to vote
They should stay in the kitchen
Autism has become an epidemic
Don't get the Covid vaccine!
Merry Christmas to our true president
DONALD J. TRUMP!
Blacks commit the most crime!
Women belong in the kitchen!
The Covid vaccine
is made by
SATAN!
[Suddenly, there is a post-credit scene, where Prim is still in the pizzeria at night]
Prim: Wow, I can’t believe I ate here until night!
[Suddenly an animatronic appears]
Animatronic: roar
Prim: Oh no.
[Prim gets jumpscared and fucking dies. Cut to the Full Server road trippers telling the rest of the Full Server cast about their trip.]
Zoltan: -and that was our trip to Yemen!
[pause]
Vanessa: How the hell did you drive from France to Saudi Arabia?
[Laugh track. The end.]
This film is dedicated to the Queen. Lol.
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