Episode 031 - Non-Canonical Grandma

==Intro==
Episode description:Seriously....how tall is this mountain???
Opening Quote:"Why don't you guys have piss buckets? Jesus. Be a professional."—Kyle
Player introduction:Sean, "Hello and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions podcast, I'm Sean your dungeon master and with me tonight I have Scott, who plays Nedylene."
Scott, "Greetings and salutations."
Sean, "Kyle who plays Torrin."
Kyle, "I was raised to do one thing. But I've got nothing to fight for."
Sean, "Ben, who plays Stark."
Ben, "Hello!"
Sean, "Wade, who plays Devin."
Wade, "Hell-ooooh!"
Sean, "And Matt who plays Markus."
Matt, "We must do research!"
Kyle, "Oh Jesus."
Sean, "It's gonna be a thing. It's a thing that's happening, it's fuckin' branding I guess."
Scott, "I'm still dying from Wade!"
== Episode Summary ==
The gang has to fight the last step of the way to reach the cabin of Ilander Hobblefeet at what is essentially the north pole of Irulan. He is a Halfling, ostensibly of 60 years, homely and whimsical, and has a blackened, decrepit arm as a result of touching Torog himself in the past. They are having tea, cheese and jerky, and Torrin is suspicious of Ilander's intentions.
Hobblefeet claims to be a former bard who dealt with the heroes of legend, the Original Chosen Five. The way he tells of them mirrors the situation of The Chosen. Much like them, the Original Five were faced with the ploys of Torag and his followers. Hobblefeet’s long life seems to be a result of encountering Torag, which coincidentally matches the boons Silaqui promised The Chosen if they supported the evil chaos god.
Whatever the truth, the halfling says he is tired of eternal life, and thus proposes a deal. In exchange for help closing the demon portals, he wants Stark to use the assembled Oculous relic to end his life. When they agree to his proposal, he tells them that Torog originally used five creatures to create demon portals to the Exterior Planes. Their tool to open portals was a magical lock. He reasons that Silaqui is doing just that in the present, and that four others must be capable of the same thing. If The Chosen manage to kill one such creature, their demon portals will collapse as well. When Devin inquires about how to find these creatures, Hobblefoot produces a magical telescope with large rubies at both ends and tells him that it will serve to locate the portal openers. It has the power to do this even through the planet's body itself. Hobblefoot offers no explanation of how or why he possesses this object, but warns The Chosen about having to ultimately destroy Torog. Stark uses his Divine Sense and learns that he is a good man, but that his black arm is fiendish. His condition mirrors that of Elizabet. Hobblefoot then leaves the cabin, Stark and Devin follow, and they use the Oculous to desintegrate him. 
The Chosen decide to make camp inside the cabin, and search it for useful things. Among the records of Hobblefoot, Stark finds an account of an event called The Final Crucible. It was a time when Torog manifested in Irulan, specifically to deal with the Original Five on account of them growing too strong in power. Torog managed to turn four of them to stone in a cave, then retreated. Torrin, Stark and Devin have been to this cave before. Having learned this, the party hunker down for the night.
== Memorable Quotes ==
Ilander, "Only the power of light can cleanse what is within me."
Torrin, "I learned a long time ago from my non-canonical grandma that you should always listen to women."
Category:Episodes
Category:Season 1