Belly Bag's First Presidential Kiss by UncleGrandpa112

Once upon a time Belly Bag was lying in bed, a recovering meth addict, he was staring at a photo, it was a photo of Former United States President, Barack Obama. Mr. Gus, the slippery toad he was, snuck up to Belly Bag only to find him gushing over the 44th President and exclaimed in a rather angry tone, " FORMER PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA?!!! WHAT THE FUCK BELLY BAG!!! YOU KNOW THIS IS A REPUBLICAN HOUSEHOLD AND WE HATE HIM!!!!". Belly Bag was in tears and choked out, "but I love my choco-daddy Gus... You can't take him away from me no matter what side of the wing we are!". Mr. Gus, appalled by the blasphemous remarks being made by dear ol' Belly Bag, looked at him, tears welling up in his eyes, and spoke in a rather solemn tone of voice, "But I thought I was your daddy... Belly Bag... I thought I meant something to you...". Unfortunately, Mr. Gus' sad bout served as only a catalyst for Belly Bag's anger. Belly Bag got up and stormed to the door and said with a shout, "I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS GUS! YOU CANT KEEP ME IN THIS CYCLE OF LOVE THEN HATRED! IM RUNNING AWAY AND MEETING MY TRUE LOVE, THE FORMER PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!". These words were too much for Gustav to bare and he fell into a coma that would last 34 years. Belly Bag let out one final angry yell towards the now unconscious Mr. Gus and stormed out of the house.
Belly Bag wondered around his small town of Elmore, knocking house to house looking for the whereabouts of the former president. Eventually he found someone who held the information he needed, a tall hooded man walked out of the door of the house in front of him, and said in a vaguely Ukrainian accent, "So you look for former President Barack Obama, yes?" "Yeah... Do you know where he may be..?" "Yes... But I require compensation..." the hooded figure uttered while looking down at Belly Bag's crotch and rubbing their hands together. Belly Bag, completely uninterested in sexual escapades at the current moment, handed the figure a twenty. The figure let out a sigh and handed Belly Bag a crumpled piece of paper and sent him on his way. Belly Bag, content with both escaping an awkward situation and attaining important information, performed a heel click as he walked out of the house. He was really happy, I cannot express that enough. He opened the paper to find a crudely drawn map of Elmore with a red circle over the local Kroger's, "This must be where he lives", he said out loud for some stupid-ass reason, and began making his way to the Supermarket chain.
Upon walking into the Kroger's he was greeted with the groans of teenagers making minimum wage. He walked up to one of the many and employees and inquired where he might find the 44th President. The worker looked at him, bags under their eyes and pure caffeine in their veins and pointed them towards aisle 6. "Thank you!" Belly Bag said and scurried away towards his soon to be lover. But at aisle 6 he only found the same hooded figure that led him here in the first place. He stood there, shocked, and fought up the courage to approach it. "Hello?" Belly Bag uttered, catching the attention of the seemingly Ukrainian man, "Why are you here? You directed me here to find Obama and yet I only find you?". Startled, the hooded man dropped the 12 oz Can of Libby's Corned Beef he was inspecting and turned to face Belly Bag. "Oh" he opened, "What a surprise to see you here!". He looked down at the floor, embarrassed and began, "Well you see I haven't been exactly truthful towards you..." He gripped his hood and began opening it. "You see..." He looked into Belly Bag's perplexed eyes, "I actually am..." he ripped off the hood to reveal, "The former president of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama II, winner of the Democratic vote in 2008 and reelected in 2012". Belly Bag was awestruck to see his proclaimed lover in front of him. He collapsed and began to weep and then looked up to his newfound lover, "Barack Hussein Obama II, former president of the 50 United States of America, you have won my heart, will you please go out with me?" "I've also written many books including 'A Promise Land' and 'The Audacity of Hope'". Belly Bag, overcome with emotion, leant in for kiss to which he was met with a passionate kiss back. Happy for his newfound life and hopeful for the future to come he said, "I love you, Obama" to which Obama replied with a chuckle and a "I also opened a non-profit known as the Barack Obama Foundation based in Chicago".
The End.