Cold Ramen: S01E17

Operation: Beat Down is the seventeenth episode of Cold Ramen. The episode's plot is about the lords of the Food, Club and Sports Colonies joining forces to get back at DJ Kid for his actions during the events of The Great Colony War. 
== The Episode ==
(the food colony's commons are packed with foodists sitting at tables, faces sullen. the royal guard pass out platters of ice cream, fried chicken, and other junk food. looking down from their castle rooftop are cooko and snacko.)
Cooko: Another year, another memorial dinner. Why the hell are we doing this again? Isn't the point of a tragedy that we're supposed to forget about it eventually?
Snacko: Aw come on, Cooko! We can't just sweep the fallen's memories under the rug!
Cooko: Well, we should! Every food colonist who remembers it firsthand is dead!
(cooko sniffs the air and cringes)
Cooko: Besides, all that fried processed slop you insisted on making is polluting the air!
Snacko: It's called comfort food!
Cooko: Whatever, I'm going to check on Ballo and Mitto. The Sports Colony always takes the memorial the hardest.
(cooko creates a portal and travels to the sports colony arena. the field is filled with sportists working out. leading them all in their exercises are ballo and mitto)
Ballo: BALLO LOOKS ON AT HIS PEOPLE! HE ENCOURAGES THEM TO DO 30 MORE SQUATS IN MEMORIAM OF THE LOYAL SPORTISTS WHO HAD THEIR LEGS BLOWN OFF BY DJ KID'S MISSILES!
(the sportists begin squatting furiously, tears in their eyes as they remember fallen comrades. mitto grabs a pair of dumbells from a rack and starts doing reps)
Cooko: Ballo, Mitto, how're you guys doing?
Ballo: BALLO GREETS HIS ALLY COOKO HALF-HEARTEDLY. THE MEMORIES OF THE BOMBINGS ARE FRESH IN HIS MIND! DUNKO WAS SCORING THREE POINTER AFTER THREE POINTER WHEN THE FIRST WAVE HIT! HE WENT FROM BEING ON FIRE...TO BEING ON FIRE!
(mitto starts lifting faster)
Mitto: That stupid DJ Kid and his stupid colony and his stupid music can go to hell! It's not even good music!
Cooko: It's great music...
Mitto: I know! Why can't we just grab some bats, head over there and break his kneecaps!?
Ballo: BALLO EMPHASIZES WITH MITTO! HE FANTASIZES ABOUT SHOVING HIS BASEBALL CANNON WHERE THE SUN DOESNT SHINE AND FIRING UNTIL DJ KID STARTS TASTING LEATHER! HOWEVER, HE POINTS OUT DJ KID'S IMMENSE ARSENAL OF WEAPONS AND UNPREDICABILITY. IT COULD LEAD TO ANOTHER EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT!
Cooko: Ballo's right. Face it, all we can do is have these events, while that turntable spinning bastard pumps up the jams.
(suddenly, another portal opens up in front of the gods. club lords clubbo and pimpy step out)
Clubbo: Sports Gods, Cooko! What's poppin'?
Mitto: Clubbo? Pimpy? Shouldn't you two be leading your colony into getting even drunker for your memorial day?
Clubbo: Why memorialize it? Isn't the point of tragedy that you wanna forget it?
Cooko: Exactly! What're you two doing here, anyway?
Pimpy: clubbo and i have been thinkin' about this whole bombin' thing. that fucker dj kid has been sittin' too pretty ever since he dropped those bombs!
Clubbo: He also ran away from our colony to form his Residencial island! Ungrateful prick...anyway, we've got an idea that'll not only let us get revenge on that asshole, but also get the most clout in all of Beta-Earth!
Ballo: BALLO IS CAUTIOUSLY INTERESTED IN THIS PATH OF CONVERSATION! HE URGES THE CLUB LORDS TO GO ON! HE ALSO ENCOURAGES HIS PEOPLE TO DO 40 PUSH-UPS TO REMEMBER THE SPORTISTS WHO WILL HAVE TO LIVE FOREVER WITHOUT ARM DAYS!
(the coloinsts get on the group and call out push ups)
Pimpy: clubbo and i were thinking that as revenge for dropping bombs on us...we'd drop a diss track on that sucka!
Cooko: As payback for killing thousands of our people, you want to...write a mean song about him?
Clubbo: Think about it, Cooko! Clout is any musician's currency. If we embarrass him, the streets will start talking. And that'll deal a blow greater than any bomb could!
and the best part is that he can't attack us without looking like a bitch!
Cooko: Did it ever occur to you that none of us know how to rap?
Clubbo: As if actual rappers these days know either! The name of the game is auto-tune! We'll fix everything in post production! All we need is some other gods to really get people talking! What do you guys say?
Mitto: I think it's worth a shot! Ballo?
Ballo: THE ONLY SONGS BALLO KNOWS ARE COLLEGE FIGHT SONGS, BUT HE WILL PUT HIS BEST FOOT FORWARD!
Cooko: Thanks, but no thanks. I'm already forced to remember one disaster today.
Clubbo: That sucks, Snacko was all on board with it!
(a portal opens next to cooko and snacko exits)
Snacko: Cooko! Clubbo and Pimpy have this kick ass plan to get back at DJ Kid!
Cooko: You asked Snacko without going through me first?!
Clubbo: You never responded to our messages!
Cooko: Why would I want to talk with you?! You tried to turn my home into a swimming pool!
Pimpy: yeah well popcorn head here is cool with us!
Snacko: Let's do it, Cooko! We need a win around here!
Cooko: Sigh, fine. But only because if the Food Colony needs representation, Cooko should be the face of it!
Clubbo: Perfect! Let's get to the club and go through the game plan!
(clubbo re-opens his portal and everyone exits the sports colony through it)
...
(bright lights are illuminating an island isolated in the ocean. hundreds of colonists surround a stage, dj kid himself rocking the turntables and playing his music. he winds down a song, the colonists cheer his name)
DJ Kid: Ahaha, my people! I love you all! Really, I do!
(a man walks over to his side and taps his shoulder. dj kid raises one of the ears of his headphone and listens as the man whispers. the two then quickly retreat backstage)
DJ Kid: Could you run that through with me again?
Roadie: My lord, it appears that the lords of the Club, Food and Sports colonies are conspiring against you! As we speak, they're working on a diss track!
(dj kid freezes, then slowly begins laughing.)
Roadie: Is...is everything alright, my lord?
DJ Kid: Yeah, haha...I feel great! Thank you, I needed to laugh! Now, where was I?
(dj kid turns and goes back onstage, his people cheering him on. the servant stands, confused)
...
(the six gods are sitting at a roundtable in a vibrant club)
Pimpy: the most important part of any rap song are the lyrics! if we're gonna take down dj kid, we gotta hit 'im where it hurts! ballhead, drop a freestyle! just rap what's on your mind!
Ballo: BALLO TAKES A DEEP BREATH! HE REQUESTS THAT SOMEONE DROP A BEAT!
(clubbo starts beatboxing)
Ballo: BALLO BEGINS HIS FREESTYLE BY POINTING OUT THAT DJ KID LIVES ON AN ISLAND! HE THEN NOTES THAT DJ KID--
Pimpy: woah woah woah what the hell is that?! you gotta speak normally when you rap!
Ballo: THE SPORTS LORD IS CONFUSED! HE STATES THAT HE IS TALKING NORMALLY!
Pimpy: but you're y'know, speakin' in the first person and what not!
Ballo: BALLO DOESNT SEE THE PROBLEM HERE! HIS MANNER OF SPEAKING WON'T DEVIATE FROM HIS RIGHTEOUS BARS!
Pimpy: know what, we'll get back to you! mittman, give it a shot!
Mitto: DJ Kid? More like DJ dumb bitch who no one cares about and should kill himself because he's a worthless pile of garbage! You think you're so cool, but we'll see how cool you are when I land a homerun on your skull!
(all the gods look at mitto, surprised)
Mitto: How was that?
Clubbo: Well, you didn't even rhyme, but remember that rant! We'll use it for the outro! How about we work on the instrumental?
Cooko: I think I could be helpful here! I think we should use some violins. Maybe get some sopranos singing...
Pimpy: that sounds like some pansy ass love song shit! this aint an italian serenade!
Cooko: Well EXCUSE me for trying to add a little culture to this song!
Pimpy: we don't need culture! what we need are some hard hittin' bars! and i think i know just where to go!
...
(the gods are sitting inside a rap studio with two other men)
Pimpy: alright peoples, these are my boys lil soda boi and chimpy poo poo nuts! i called in a few favors and they're gonna help us out!
(mitto begins to snicker but composes himself)
Lil Soda Boi: ayo so i heard you guys need some ghost writing, you came to the right place
Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts: but first things first, how we getting paid? y'all got cash or credit cards or what?
Cooko: How about some groceries?
(cooko snaps his fingers and a cornocopia full of fresh fruits and vegetables appears in front of the rappers)
Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts: bruh, the fuck you think this is? do we look like master chef contestants to you?
Cooko: You humans need food anyway, what's wrong with getting rid of the middleman?
Lil Soda Boi: i thought you guys were gods? dont yall got some gold or anything?
Mitto: Yeah, we've got some gold. It's cursed, though.
Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts: i ain't fraid of no ghosts! bring it in!
(mitto opens a portal and left the studio. a few moments later, he comes back with a water cooler full of gold medals)
Ballo: BALLO CHUCKLES AT MITTO'S SUPERSTITON! HE REASSURES HIS NEW FRIENDS THAT THE MEDALS ARE IN FACT PERFECTLY NORMAL! THE IDEA THAT PLAYING SOCCER ON AN ANCIENT BURIAL GROUND CURSES EVERYTHING IN RANGE IS PREPOSTEROUS!
Lil Soda Boi: alright give us an hour then we'll get to work on the music video!
Cooko: Wait, what? We're making a video as well?
Pimpy: yeah! with lots of bitches and hoes, provided by yours truly!
Clubbo: If we're gonna stunt on DJ Kid, we're gonna need to look the part!
Pimpy: and speakin' of lookin' the part, we gotta dress up for the occasion!
...
(later, the gods, the rappers, and a group of women are outside on the streets. ballo is wearing a white suit with a white feathered hat)
Ballo: BALLO IS FEELING BALLERIFIC IN HIS NEW DUDS!
(cooko is wearing a red puffy jacket and a backwards cap instead of his chef hat)
Cooko: Pimpy, do we really need to wear all this? I look ridiculous!
Pimpy: yeah well thats not the clothing's fault, you're a goddamn ladel!
(chimpy poo poo nuts gets between the gods. hes wearing a few of the gold medals around his neck)
Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts: chill, guys! remember why we're here! im thinking we start with the popcorn guy's verse. lets get into position, people!
(a rap beat starts playing as snacko sits on the hood of a car. he is wearing a vest and a pair of sunglasses while sitting between two of pimpy's girls)
Snacko: DJ Kid, you messed with the wrong lords!
Now you're getting beat with words, not swords!
Get ready for a doozy, so go sit back!
As my friends step up and start the attack!
(cooko steps up near snacko, nodding his head to the beat while lil soda boi holds up a cue card for his lyrics)
Cooko: DJ Kid, what kinda name is that?!
Sounds like you need a lolli and a propeller hat!
Stupid punk, I'll break your face!
Then tear your ass, outta pl--wait, what?! Stop the music guys!
Lil Soda Boi: aye man, what's wrong?
Cooko: Look, I hate DJ Kid with a passion, but I'm not saying that shit! You want me to announce to all of Beta Earth that I'm going to 'tear his ass outta place'? What kind of lyrics are those?
Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts: its just hood slang, man! it means you're gonna mess him up!
Cooko: Mess up his butthole, you mean? Look, buddy, I don't swing that way, and I don't need people getting the wrong idea! Can I swap lines with someone?
Snacko: Ooh, you can have this one, Cooko! 'If you have a girl, I'm gonna show her, how your ass is grass, and I'm the lawnmower!'
Snacko: Snacko, that's still implying I'm gonna tear through his ass! I'm not into men, I have three children!
(clubbo pinches his forehead)
Clubbo: Soda Boi, can we get some new verses for my man so we can move on? Ballo, you wanna go second instead?
Ballo: BALLO ACCEPTS CLUBBOS OFFER! HE IS READY TO LAY DOWN SOME SERIOUS DISRESPECT ON DJ KID!
(the rap beat starts again as ballo leans on the side of a car with some guys in basketball jerseys)
Ballo: BALLO BEGINS TO RAP! HE BEGINS HIS FIRST LINE, DECLARING THAT HE IS READY TO BRAWL! ADDITIONALLY, THAT THE LORD OF THE BALL WILL MAKE HIM BAWL!
lil soda boi: can someone tell me why the baseball is rapping like a caveman?
Ballo: BALLO LOOKS TO HIS GHOST WRITER, CONFUSED. HE CAN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH HIS SPEECH PATTERN! NO ONE HAS COMPLAINED FOR YEARS!
lil soda boi: yeah well this is real life, pardna. and in real life, nobody is talking like they're narrating a comic book!
chimpy poo poo nuts: unless they had a stroke that is
Ballo: BALLO TAKES OFFENSE TO THAT! HE IS AT THE TOP OF HIS GAME, THE PRIME OF HIS LIFE!
lil soda boi: whatever you say ballman, but you gotta drop that speech impediment fast, my man. cause i wrote some killer bars for you and im not letting them go to waste!
(cooko sifts through a pile of cue cards on a foldable table outside)
Cooko:'They call me Ballo because Imma roll you right over, got some stuff that'll make you dead sober, the DJ in your name must stand for dumb jockey, I'll knock up your head like my name was Rocky.' Now THIS is what I need for lyrics, not some drivel about tearing up asses!
chimpy poo poo nuts: we went through this already ITS NOT GAY!
(as chimpy and cooko begin to argue, clubbo and pimpy look at each other)
Clubbo: Pimpy, I really think we should've done those dry runs first...
Pimpy: time's of the essence, clubbo! we gotta get this john out on the streets before the end of the day!
chimpy poo poo nuts: alright fuck this shit, lets just take five, then we'll go back in the studio and rehearse. i can't with y'all right now, i need a smoke
(the gods gather together while chimpy and soda boi step back and light up)
Pimpy: alright peeps, we need to step up our game! it doesnt have to be perfect, cause like i said post production will take care of everything! ballo, stop talking weird! cooko, get your head out the gutters!
Cooko: I'm just looking out for my personal image!
Mitto: Don't sweat, Pimpy! I'm ready to knock my verse out of the park! DJ Kid's gonna hate this!
(snacko is distracted by one of pimpys girls who is hanging onto his arm)
Snacko: Pimpy, you have some beautiful ladies! Watermelondreia and I are really hitting it off!
Pimpy: popcorn man i just said we need to step up our game and you're over here mackin' one of my ladies?
(pimpy steps between the two of them)
Pimpy: and havent you heard the phrase 'can't turn a hoe into a housewife?' watermelondreia got one love, and thats to her job!
Watermelondreia: well maybe i dont wanna be a ho anymore! snacko treats me like a human being!
Pimpy: girl you picked the wrong day to grow a spine! dont make me backhand yo soul outta you chest!
Snacko: Hey man, leave her alone!
(the gods hear tires squeal and see a purple convertible driving up the street behind them. a man wearing a purple shirt and ski mask stood up in the back seat.
backseat man: SPERMY GANG! SPERMY GANG!
(cooko shook his head as the car drove past them)
Cooko: What is wrong with this neighborhood...
(lil soda boi looked to chimpy poo poo nuts, alarmed)
lil soda boi: OH SHIT ITS SPERMY GANG! CHIMPY, GET DOWN!
(the man in the backseat pulls out an uzi and aims wildly as he passes by the two rappers. everyone screams and scatters as the shooting starts)
backseat man: SPERMY GANG! SPERMY GANG! SPERMY GANG!
(the purple car zooms off after he runs out of bullets. pimpy gets up first and runs to the two rappers)
Pimpy: ay man, you guys okay? anyone get shot?
(lil soda boi pats his body. miraculously, he's completely unharmed)
lil soda boi: im good, dog! not a single bullet hit me! how about you, chimpy?
(lil soda boi takes one look at chimpy and immediately screams again. every single bullet fired seemed to go straight into chimpy poo poo nuts. there isn't a single bullet hole on any houses or objects.
lil soda boi: OH SHIT THEY GOT CHIMPY! THEY GOT CHIMPY YALL!!
(everyone gathers around chimpy poo poo nuts bullet-ridden body as he sputters and coughs up blood)
chimpy poo poo nuts: damn...those spermy gang shooters dont miss...
(mitto looks at the gold medals hanging from his neck, then at ballo, who refuses to meet his gaze)
civilian: AW HELL NAW THEY GOT CHIMPY! CHIMPY NOOOO!!!
(lil soda boi starts crying)
lil soda boi: WE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT OUT THE HOOD TOGETHER! COME ON CHIMPY DONT DIE OUT ON ME!!
(some bystanders begin pouring their bagged alcohol onto the street. cooko watches in confusion)
Cooko: Pimpy, why are those people pouring out their beers onto the street?
Pimpy: they showin respect for the dead, man...
Cooko: Well if my 'homies' were pouring out some cheap bottom shelf malt liquors for me, I'd feel nothing but direspect...
(as people cry out chimpy's name and shove their phones in his face to record the moment, the rapper reached his hand out weakly to lil soda boi, who takes it)
chimpy poo poo nuts: soda boi....when i die...roll me up and smoke my ashes in a blunt....
(with those last words, chimpy poo poo nuts passes away. this prompts lil soda and the rest of the crowd to begin crying)
lil soda boi: I KNOW THESE STREETS ARE TOUGH, BUT GOD YOU JUST MADE A GANGSTA CRY....CHIMPYYYYYY!!
(the gods gather together again)
Cooko: So now we have a dead rapper and a ruined video shoot on our hands. You guys wanna call this a loss and go back to our colonies?
Mitto: What did I say, Ballo? What did I say about the gold?!
Ballo: BALLO SCRATCHES THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND CITES THAT THERE IS ZERO CORRELATION BETWEEN THE SUPPOSED CURSED GOLD AND CHIMPY POO POO NUT'S DEATH!
Mitto: THERE'S NOT A BULLET HOLE IN SIGHT EXCEPT FOR ON HIS BODY! AND HE WAS WEARING THE GOLD AROUND HIS NECK!
Cooko: Poor bastard looks like a slice of swiss cheese...
(Clubbo quitely contemplates things)
Clubbo: So, guys...we can all agree that the rap idea was a bad one, right? We had to rush too much, controversial lyrics, etc...
(the gods nod in agreement)
Clubbo: So what if instead of dropping a diss track on DJ Kid, we kinda...sorta...blame this whole shooting on him?
(everyone looked at clubbo, thinking about this new idea)
Mitto: He would have a perfect reason for messing with our shoot...
Pimpy: and no one would ever think of snitchin' due to hood code, so there's that too...
Cooko: And if DJ Kid takes the fall for gunning down this upcoming rap prodigy, then everyone will lose respect for him!
(with everyone in agreement, Clubbo runs to the crowd)
Clubbo: People of the streets! I, Clubbo the Club Lord, have a shocking revelation to bring to the table! Spermy Gang did not act alone in this hit. The hit was commissioned by DJ Kid! He wanted Chimpy off the streets because he KNEW that he would become more popular than him!
(everyone in the crowd collectively gasped)
civilian: naw bruh...dj kid wouldnt do this....he wouldnt...
Pimpy: please believe it, brother! ever since he started workin' for us, dj kid has always had a big ass ego!
Mitto: Without the brains to match! We need to spread the word, so Chimp...Chimpy...
(as mitto struggles to finish without laughing, snacko steps in)
Snacko: So Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts can get the justice he deserves! For Chimpy! Chimpy! Poo Poo Nuts! Chimpy! Poo Poo Nuts!
(as snacko chants, the crowd joins in furiously)
civilian: AYO FUCK DJ KID!
...
(dj kid is taking a break from DJing, polishing his turntables in his private room when the door is hastily opened by one of his attendants.)
Attendant: Sir, we have a problem! A big problem!
(the lord sighs and puts his rag down)
DJ Kid: Is this about those bozos Clubbo and Pimpy and the others writing their little ditty about me? Because there's nothing they can write that can top me! I'm not the one who had his colony bombed!
(the attendant picked up a remote on the table in the room, turned on the TV and set it to the news. a news reporter was reporting in the hood)
News Reporter: I am standing here on Alberta Street, where a great tragedy occured. A young musician by the name of Chimpy Poo Poo Nut was shot and killed in what appeared to be your average act of gang violence, but seems to be much more. I'm standing here with Clubbo, self proclaimed Lord of the Club. Mr. Clubbo, what has been going on here.
Clubbo: Yeah so y'see ma'am, Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts was collaborating with us on a song. Yes, it was a diss track, but it's all just music. But this guy DJ Kid has skin so thin, he decides that for the sin of writing for us, Chimpy had to die. What happened to the good old days of rap, huh?!
News Reporter: Wasn't this same stuff happening in the old days of rap as well? Even more so?
Clubbo: Uh...look, I just wanna see justice for Chimpy, okay? He was a pillar in the community! Who could forget his iconic sonc "Money, Hoes, Cash, Hoes, Cash, Hoes"? It was a certified hood anthem!
(pimpy walked up next to clubbo)
Pimpy: yeah man, chimpy poo poo nuts was the man! its a shame dj kid did what he did! we were just havin' fun! like come on, why you gotta get innocent people caught up in your mess?
(in the background, cooko and snacko are passing out bottles of high end liquor for people to pour out)
Cooko: Yeah, R.I.P Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts, R.I.P Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts! It was all DJ Kid's fault by the way, spread the word! Here's your hennessey! R.I.P Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts!
News Reporter: With everything going on, one thing is for sure, DJ Kid sentiment is at an all time low.
DJ Kid: I don't believe this! Those idiots believe I would waste the effort of calling a hit on someone? And Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts of all people?! That scrub was NOTHING before he died! He's only getting clout now because he's dead! And--wait a minute, is that who I think it is out there?!
(on TV, a man in a makeshift booth is selling t-shirts with chimpy poo poo nut's face on them)
Mercho: Step right up and claim your Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts shirts! Get your genuine fresh off the block Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts apparel here!
DJ Kid: Mercho is taking advantage of this, too?!
Attendant: It seems so, sir. What's our response?
(dj kid gets up and stretches his body)
DJ Kid: I'm not even sweating it! The people love me, and that's exactly what they're gonna get! I'm thinking I host a press conference slash concert! I can talk about my side of the story and get the message out that I had nothing to do with Chimpy's death!
(later, dj kid is on an outdoors stage at a park. an unhappy mass of residential colonists fill the area in front of the stage)
Residential Colonist: You're a murderer, DJ Kid!
Residential Colonist 2: DJ Kid, you ain't shit!
(a colonist throws a tomato that narrowly misses DJ Kid)
Residential Colonist 3: Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts for life!
(dj kid calmly lowers his hands downward in a gesture to calm the crowd down)
DJ Kid: I know what you're all thinking, that I would order a hit on Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts! Well, I didn't! Chimpy made a lot of enemies! He said it himself in his "I Have a Lot of Enemies"! It could be the opps, the cops, or even Earth's goverment!
Residential Colonist: That is just like you to blame the innocent government! Why would the government want Chimpy dead?
DJ Kid: Uh...this is just like Tupac! He was too influential!
Colonist: Too influential for you! You were jealous of him!
DJ Kid: Influential?! The man's most iconic song is him repeating the phrase 'money, cash, hoes, hoes, cash, hoes' over an admittedly stellar instrumental!
(the crowd begins getting rowdier and rowdier. his guards even look concerned as they step in to try and push back. a terrified attendant jostles through the crowd and guards to reach dj kid)
Attendant: We have to do something! These people are out for blood!
DJ Kid:...There's only one thing I can think of to sooth these savage souls..
(dj kid summons his turntable and a techno remix of 'funeral march' begins playing)
DJ Kid: I, DJ Kid, claim the soul of Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts! Rise Rise!
(a green portal that vibrates to the beat of the music opens next to him. The crowd halts their assault and watch as a chimpy poo poo nuts steps out of the portal)
Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts: ayo i'm back?!
DJ Kid: As you can clearly see, I didn't order any kind of hit on Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts, because I just brought him back from the dead! And now that he's back, I have another announcement!
(dj kid walks to the revived chimpy's side and takes his arm, raising him up)
DJ Kid: I'd like to introduce you all to Chimpy Poo Poo Nuts, the latest lord of Residential!
(the crowd of colonists begin getting rowdy again, for a good reason this time)
Colonist: Chimpy! Chimpy! Chimpy!
To Be Continued...