Trip to Tea City

Trip to Tea City is the fourth episode of Ttyl.
==Plot==
*The class trip to Tea City (the Bikini Bottom equivalent to England) has its ups and downs as Pearl finds an attractive accented boy, SpongeBob and Patrick get their class thrown out of a museum, and Sandy finds out her nude photos are still circulating as she finds one on a dating channel.
==Transcript==
*Episode opens to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting on a bus, with various other students around them, all chatting.
*SpongeBob: So...whose wallet did you steal to get to Tea City?
*Patrick: Actually, I didn't steal any money this time. My parents actually paid my way here.
*SpongeBob: Wow, really?
*Patrick: Yeah, really. My dad said it'd be good for me to see other cultures or some shit.
*SpongeBob: Lucky. I had to steal Frank's money to get the funds for this trip.
*Patrick: You think he'll notice?
*SpongeBob: Probably. (chuckles) I don't really care though.
*Patrick: Y'know, for a cherry, you're pretty hardcore. (pulls out a pack of gum, removing a piece) Oh yeah, you're not a cherry anymore. (chuckles, unwraps the piece, and chews it)
*SpongeBob: You're chewing gum?
*Patrick: Yeah.
*SpongeBob: I've never seen you do that before.
*Patrick: I just started this morning. I was in the gas station to get some smokes when...
*Patrick fades into a flashback, done seemingly in black and white. Patrick has a pack of cigarettes and five dollars in his hand, walking up to the clerk. A man with a briefcase is drinking coffee near him.
*Patrick: Pack of cigarettes.
*Briefcase Man: Are you sure?
*Patrick: (confused) Am I sure?
*Briefcase Man: Yes, are you sure?
*Patrick: Am I sure about what?
*Briefcase Man: Do you really want to buy those cigarettes?
*Patrick: Are you serious?
*Briefcase Man: How long have you been smoking?
*Patrick: (turns to clerk) What is this, a poll?
*Clerk: Beats me.
*Briefcase Man: How long have you been a smoker?
*Patrick: Since I was thirteen.
*Briefcase Man shakes his head, and pulls an unseen photo out of his briefcase, showing it to Patrick.
*Briefcase Man: I'd say you're about sixteen, seventeen, right?
*Patrick: (disgusted) What the hell is that?
*Briefcase Man: That's your lung. After about three or four years of smoking, your lung looks like this.
*Patrick: You're shittin' me!
*Briefcase Man: You think I'm shitting you? Wait till you see this...
*Five minutes later...
*Patrick has a horrified expression on his face as the man puts away his briefcase. He puts the cigarettes back and gets gum instead.
*Patrick: I'll just take this.
*Clerk: Fifty-five.
*Patrick hands him the money and gets the gum, walking out with a horrified shiver. Fade out of flashback and back to present.
*SpongeBob: Wow.
*Patrick: Back on the subject of you not being a cherry anymore...how did it go with Sandy?
*SpongeBob: Um...it went okay, I guess.
*Patrick: I need more details than that, Spongy. Did you go through the backdoor?
*SpongeBob: (face turns red) Patrick!
*Patrick: Well, did you?
*SpongeBob: I'm not comfortable discussing this around our classmates!
*Patrick: They've all got their headphones in. Well, except for Squidward, but he's asleep, I think. And a queer.
*SpongeBob: Patrick!
*Patrick: Hey, I didn't say there was anything wrong with being a queer. He just is one.
*SpongeBob: Is he? He's never said so.
*Patrick: He definitely is. The way he and Squilliam have that teasing relationship, there's no way something isn't going on between them.
*SpongeBob: Should we ask him about it?
*Patrick: Nah, let him think he's in the closet. (chuckles)
*Cut to Sandy, who is listening to Anaconda through her headphones and lightly humming to herself.
*Sandy: (lightly to herself) My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon.
*Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick.
*Patrick: (whispering to SpongeBob) Has she seen her buns? We all have. She doesn't have much to speak of.
*SpongeBob: Patrick!
*Patrick: Just stating the truth. Did you have anything to grab when you were tearing her up?
*SpongeBob turns away from Patrick.
*Patrick: Oh, for God's sake, not this again! Can't you think of any other methods besides the silent treatment?
*Ten minutes later...
*SpongeBob is still turning away from Patrick.
*Patrick: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm just a little proud of my little virgin popping the cherry.
*SpongeBob turns toward Patrick with a smile.
*SpongeBob: Apology accepted. Just knock it off with the sex stuff. I'll tell you later if I feel like it.
*Patrick: Alright. (groans) Are we almost there?
*SpongeBob: I'm sure we'll be there eventually.
*SpongeBob pulls out his MP3 player, putting one ear bud in his ear and another in Patrick's ear.
*Patrick: Yes! I love this song!
*SpongeBob: (singing along) If you want to destroy my sweater...
*Patrick: (horribly off-key) Hold this thread, as I walk awaaay.
*SpongeBob: Uh...maybe we shouldn't sing.
*Patrick: (sigh) Don't expect me to be getting on Bikini Bottom Idol.
*Bus Driver: (loudly calling behind him) Alrighty, we're pulling in!
*Sandy: (takes headphones out) Huh? Well, it's about time.
*The load of students all stand up as the bus stops in front of a hotel. A female teacher stands up as the bus doors fling open, trying to direct the students.
*Teacher: Single-file line, everyone. Single-file.
*We see the students all chatter to themselves as they all load out of the bus, entering the hotel. Cut to SpongeBob, Patrick, Larry, and Squidward, seemingly all put in the same hotel room, unloading their luggage as the same teacher from before enters with papers.
*Teacher: Alright, boys, we're heading for the museum in thirty minutes, then we're going out for dinner and shopping. After that will be up to you. You'll be allowed one pay-per-view movie, but you all have to agree on the movie, and no-
*Seemingly knowing what she was going to say, Patrick turns the television on and flips it to a preview channel of sorts. We don't actually see the screen, but a deep-voiced narrator gives the impression of the channel he's turned it to.
*Narrator: New from Tea Babes: The hottest girls in the nastiest situations. You'll see it all, fully untamed and uncensored, in crystal-clear HD. See it before Ofcom shuts us down again! Only ten pence for six hours of-
*The teacher snatches the remote from Patrick, turns the station off, then grabs him by the chest.
*Teacher: So help me Neptune, Patrick Star, if you cause any funny business on this trip, I will not hesitate to send you home immediately with no refund to your parents. Are we clear?
*Patrick: (gulps) Yes, ma'am.
*Cut to the class entering the museum. The room is very shiny and full of ancient artifacts.
*SpongeBob: Wow, this place is pretty nice. You think so, Patrick?
*SpongeBob looks to his right, only to see Patrick's absence.
*SpongeBob: Patrick?
*SpongeBob turns to see Patrick approaching a priceless artifact, giving it a good poke.
*Patrick: Touch.
*Teacher: (smacks Patrick's hand) Don't touch.
*Patrick: Sorry, it's a habit.
*Teacher: Alright, you've all got three hours to explore this museum. Don't be idiots. Stay in pairs if you can. And learn something!
*The class splits off into various pairs, excluding Pearl, who wanders off on her own. She strolls through various exhibits with a bored expression on her face for a while, until she reaches a boy standing outside of an exhibit with a similar expression on her face. Black hair, nice complexion - he's cute. Pearl suddenly takes interest and approaches the boy.
*Pearl: Hey there. (wearing an over-the-top cheesy smile)
*Boy: (with thick French accent) Vat the hell are you doing that for? (laughs)
*Pearl's face suddenly turns a bright red as she stumbles over her words.
*Pearl: I, um...sorry, I just, was, um, trying to, um-
*Boy: (laughs) No, no, I don't have a problem vith it. Just curious. I think it's a bit cute, actually.
*Pearl: Oh! Well, I, uh...
*The boy places a finger on her mouth to shush her.
*Boy: Vat's your name, girly?
*Pearl: (whispering) I...I'm Pearl.
*Boy: I'm Sébastien. It's nice to meet you, Pearl.
*Pearl: Sébastien. I like it. So, what are you doing here?
*Sébastien: I come here in my free time. Ven I'm not painting, that is. It really clears my mind; lets me think about the important things in life, you know? But I vasn't aware there was going to be a class here today. I've encountered a few, ah, vat is the English word...nincompoops.
*Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick who are across from them, SpongeBob having to hold Patrick back from touching everything.
*SpongeBob: What's gotten into you?
*Patrick: I can't...help it! Must...touch!
*Cut back to Pearl and Sébastien, as Sébastien lets out a chuckle and Pearl rolls her eyes.
*Pearl: Yeah, those two...I don't want to talk about it. I'm surprised they're even allowed on this trip.
*Pearl and Sébastien both laugh, then stand silently for a while before Sébastien speaks again.
*Sébastien: Say, do you want to come with me...somevere?
*Pearl: Depends on where that particular 'somevere' is.
*Sébastien: (smirks) Playing hard to get, are we?
*Cut to Pearl and Sébastien kissing passionately in what appears to be a bathroom stall. Sébastien playfully twirls her blonde ponytail, before giving it a hard tug which causes Pearl to let out a deep moan.
*Pearl: Is this French foreplay? I like it.
*Sébastien gives Pearl a mischievous smile. He unbuttons his shirt and presses himself against her, causing her to hit her head on the stall.
*Pearl: Ouch!
*Sébastien: Oh, sorry. Vat was an accident.
*Pearl: It's fine. Keep going.
*Sébastien pulls Pearl's top off, leaving her clothed in purple lingerie. He's about to go farther when suddenly the bathroom door swings open, and the voice of none other than the group's teacher comes through.
*Teacher: Pearl? Are you in here?
*Sébastien: (whispering) You know her?
*Pearl: (whispering) My teacher. This is bad.
*Teacher: Pearl, I can hear you. What's going on?
*Pearl: Um, nothing. I'm...uh, bleeding. Started my period.
*Teacher: Let me be more specific. I hear two people in there. Anything you'd like to tell me?
*Pearl: Uh...I have a talking va-
*Pearl can't even believe how ridiculous what she was about to say was. She and Sébastien crack up laughing.
*Teacher: Did you seriously just...(sigh) Look, I don't really care, but-
*The teacher's dialogue becomes muffled as the screen cuts back to Pearl, as Sébastien attempts to begin to kiss below her neck and pull at her lingerie. Pearl pushes him off, mouthing a 'not now, sorry'. Sébastien looks disappointed, but slips her a small sheet of paper out of his pocket. She looks at the paper and smiles at him.
*Teacher: (fiercely) Pearl, come on!
*Pearl sighs and leaves the stall. As she closes the stall behind her and stands next to the teacher, the room falls silent for a couple seconds.
*Pearl: Uh...are we gonna go?
*Teacher: (smirking) No. I wanted to see who your Romeo was.
*Pearl's face quickly turns red as she looks at the floor.
*Teacher: Come on, it's the least I get for not formally punishing you, right?
*Pearl opens her mouth to protest, but decides not to bother. The teacher doesn't budge and pounds on the stall door.
*Teacher: Don't be shy!
*The boy comes out of the stall hesitantly, face also red and looking at the floor. He exits the bathroom without even taking a second look at Pearl.
*Pearl: (angrily) Did you have to do that?
*Teacher: Pearl, I want to help you. Here, let's talk somewhere more private.
*The teacher leaves the bathroom. Pearl hesitates but decides to follow behind her.
*Teacher: Listen, I'm probably the person who can relate most to your situation, sweetheart. I understand you've got something deep down you're trying to drown out with sex.
*Pearl: (outraged) What? Who the hell are you to psychoanalyze me?
*Pearl gets a sudden look of panic on her face. She slipped up. The teacher gives her a smirk that clearly reads 'gotcha!'.
*Teacher: Psychoanalyze. That's a big word. See, Pearl, I know you're a bright girl; you don't want to be part of the nerdy crowd, though, do you? You just don't know how to fit in with the popular kids.
*Pearl: Stop it!
*Teacher: So you decide you can fake it to make it. You've made up this whole personality for yourself, Pearl, as a reckless girl who'll have an orgy at the drop of a hat. But I know that's not what you are.
*A shot of the teacher looking right into Pearl's eyes is seen. Pearl quickly shifts her eyes down to avoid eye contact.
*Teacher: You can't live in denial of yourself forever, Pearl Krabs. One day it'll come back to bite you.
*The scene is silent for a couple seconds as Pearl and the teacher continue to walk through the museum towards the main entrance. Pearl, still confused about some of the situation, decides to speak again to the teacher, pretending like their previous conversation never happened.
*Pearl: So, um...why exactly do we have to leave again?
*Teacher: Your classmates SpongeBob and Patrick.
*Pearl: Ugh, what did they do?
*Teacher: SpongeBob drew various sets of male genitals on a famous painting.
*Pearl: Lovely.
*Teacher: And Patrick simply couldn't keep his hands to himself.
*Pearl: Yeah, he has that problem with girls too.
*Pearl and the teacher both laugh. The teacher makes direct eye contact with Pearl again, and this time she doesn't dodge it. Pearl flashes a smile at her, and the teacher smiles back. Cut to the usual gang all crowded in the boys' hotel room - it's further from the teacher's. Smoke clouds the air, and everyone is laughing at something unknown.
*SpongeBob: So, who's up for a party game? Truth or Dare?
*Patrick: (laughs) Truth or Dare, SpongeBob? Are you ten years old?
*SpongeBob: (embarrassed) N-no! Why do you always have to...(sigh)
*Patrick: Sorry, SpongeBob, this isn't your Boy Scout troop. (turns television on) Who's up for some good ol' T&A?
*Larry: That old witch is gonna kill us if we order a porno.
*Patrick: Who said anything about ordering?
*Patrick clicks a few buttons on the remote, and suddenly we hear generic, romantically-toned music coming from the TV.
*Pearl: Damn, she's naked!
*Patrick: I did my homework. Tea City lets these shows go out late at night for free where guys call and talk to naked chicks. Not quite up there with a real porno, but close enough.
*Patrick presses the 'channel up' button on the remote.
*Larry: Aw, this one's just still images.
*Patrick: Yeah, I - Sandy, holy mother of...!
*Sandy looks up, seemingly having been lost in her own world for a while. This kind of group debauchery isn't really her thing.
*Sandy: Wha?
*Patrick: Your tits are on the TV!
*Sandy: What?
*Sandy looks at the TV. She sees the famous nude picture of herself, with stars obscuring the nipples. The channel claims it's from a 29-year-old woman named Connie, who's into 'bondage, bigger girls, and having a good time'.
*SpongeBob: Guys, that might not be her.
*Patrick: No, no, I think we all remember that rack.
*The boys all erupt into laughter, with the exception of SpongeBob. Pearl doesn't laugh and gives a sympathetic look to Sandy.
*Sandy: I...I do not look twenty-nine!
*Sandy runs out of the hotel room crying. Pearl gives an angry look back at the rest of the room, and chases behind her into the girls' room.
*Pearl: Sandy, don't let them get to you. They're boys. Boys who are obsessed with boobs. And if it makes you feel any better, I didn't see SpongeBob laugh.
*Sandy: (sniffles) Pearl, I'll be fine. I just...need a bit to pull myself together, alright?
*Pearl: Alright. (yawn) I think I'm gonna hit the hay, actually. Today sort of kicked my ass.
*Sandy: Sweet dreams.
*Sandy opens the bathroom door, enters, and locks it behind her. Pearl lies on her bed, lost in her thoughts of everything the teacher said to her.
*Pearl: (whispering to herself) What if I am lying to myself? What if...this isn't who I am?
*The screen begins to go upwards, then white. Flashback time. We see images of Pearl winning various awards and getting straight As throughout elementary school. She takes her achievements home to her father, who has no reaction. He's upset about something. From the motions you can see him argue with an unidentified female shadow, which he then raises his fist toward in front of Pearl. The little girl Pearl looks in horror as it's implied that her father has socked the unknown woman right in the jaw.
*Pearl: (whispering to herself) No. That's crazy. I'm meant to be me. I'm meant to be outrageous. I'm meant to push the limits. I'm Pearl Krabs, and this is my identity.
*Pearl turns in bed to her side.
*Pearl: (whispering to herself) ...right?
*Cut back to Sandy in the bathroom. She's still very upset, and has now mostly disrobed - leaving her in her lingerie/undergarments, and revealing various scars on her body that are easily hidden with clothing. Scars that were clearly put there on purpose. Scars intended to punish for not being good enough.
*Sandy: I just will never be enough, will I?
*Sandy looks at herself in the mirror, and frowns. She pulls a granola bar out of her suit pocket. The longingly look she gives over a simple granola bar says volumes - it's been a while she's let herself eaten something as seemingly indulgent as a granola bar. She takes a glance at the nutrition facts on the back.
*Sandy: Okay. Not bad at all. I'm going to do this. I deserve this, just like anyone else does.
*She holds the bar up to her mouth, but hesitates. Whipping out her phone, she goes to her photos, where dozens of photos of almost deadly-thin girls and models appear. Scrolling through the photos, Sandy has a look of admiration on her face - grabbing her thigh, she frowns. To the viewers, it looks quite thin, but to her, it looks like imperfection. She's simply not there yet, whatever 'there' means to her. Would she ever be 'there'?
*Sandy: I'll try harder tomorrow.
*With a sigh, Sandy takes the granola bar, removes the wrapper, and throws it in the trash. She takes the actual granola bar and flushes it down the toilet. We watch it go down as the episode fades to black, and the credits roll.
==Trivia==
*This episode is rated 15 by the BBFC for strong sex references, sexualised imagery, language, and brief images of self-harm.
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