Hazard Man

"That's the smell of 18 STD's! And radiation poisoning!"~ Hazard Man revealing his hazardous powers to Fallaballa in THE FILTHY CHRONICLES OF DANKNESS: Fallaballa Meets Hazard Man.Hazard Man, real name Hephaestus Radon is one of the most powerful Mutants on planet Earth. He lives in solitude within Zok Forest, guarding it & keeping villainous threats from getting through. He is a reoccurring character in the Terrachaoverse series.
Tier: Low 6-B
== Appearance ==
Under the suit, no one really knows what he looks like, but Hazard Man wears a tattered, homemade yellow hazmat suit with a yellow construction helmet, a pair of goggles, & a gas mask. He also wears boots (which vary from dark brown to green) & black gloves, the latter of which he takes off when he needs to use his radiation powers. In his most recent appearance, his helmet has the biohazard symbol on it. Before that, it had a Midway Industries logo.
== History ==
=== Isolated from the World ===
Hephaestus Radon was once an ordinary Human like his brother, Chris, but they were both severely mutated by the Chernobyl Disaster of 1986. Both of them were presumed to be dead after the event, but as it turns out, they both survived & were genetically altered by the radiation exposure, being given superpowers as a result. Hephaestus would don a yellow suit, goggles, glove, & gas mask to become known as Hazard Man.
Apparently, the Chernobyl Disaster separated the two brothers, so Chris, now known as Kalokorus, ventured to find Hephaestus years later. Their reunion was joyful to say the least, but in this strange new world they would both have to live in, they had to go their separate ways. Hazard Man lived up to his name, as even the mutated Kalokorus found him literally to hazardous to live around. 
Henceforth, Hazard Man isolated himself within the confines of Zok Forest, residing inside a severely decrepit shack. After learning that a section of the woods dubbed the Forest of Sin was a literal highway to Hell, he vowed to make sure that no evil would escape his sight, becoming a guardian of the forest. He also believes that the Crown of Thorns was crafted from the wood of the trees in this forest, as they're all entirely covered with thorns.
=== Concealing a Cursed Item with Fallaballa ===
On February 20th, 2017, Hazard Man had discovered a cursed cowbell that he called "The Loudest Instrument Ever Created" because of the heavily distorted noises it emitted. After finding it, someone stepped onto his territory; Fallaballa. They talked for a bit, with Hazard Man explaining the bell he found, & asked Falla if he would help him find a good place to hide it. He agreed & they ventured into the forest.They went inside the Magic School Bus, a rusted relic of the past, & within it they found a drawing of the Proxy named Slenderbruh. Falla kept his distance, as Hazard Man refused to look at it for no more than a second. Later on, Hazard Man meditated for a bit, still as a statue, but Falla was disturbed by it for some reason. Upon noticing that they were right next to the Unadilla River, Hazard Man balled up the bell in some snow & threw it in the water. However, he missed, & Falla laughed at him. But the joke was on Fallaballa, as Hazard Man only threw a plain snowball; the bell was untouched. After actually throwing the annoying device in the river, Falla clumsily pushed Hazard Man to ground in excitement, but Hazard Man needed to prove why he's called Hazard Man in the first place. It's very dangerous to touch him, & he took off one glove to show Falla why. He wretched at the radiation coming from Hazard Man's body, but got better as the Mutant put his glove back on. The two would then walk around some more, finding sinkholes in the snow. They eventually set foot at the entrance of the Forest of Sin. Hazard Man explained to Falla what it was, which frightened him, & with word that drinking the water in these woods drives you insane, someone or something needed to lighten the mood. When they found more sinkholes, Hazard Man plunged his fist into one of them, & found that it led to a portal to a dimension filled with slime. They were almost on their way back to the forest's entrance, & when they got there they found a crudely constructed snowman. On the snowman was written "FREE BJs", & before Falla got the chance to sexually caress the snowman, C.O.G. Commander Joshua Bunch appeared & teamed up with Hazard Man to slice & dice the snowman to oblivion. Fallaballa & Hazard Man's journey had finally come to a close, with both of them glad that they met each other.
=== Helping Out in Others' Adventures ===
Hazard Man would next be spotted exiting Zok Forest on January 18th, 2018 alongside Han Velsing. Labraham Incoln had arranged a meeting with Han, who would be best suited if he went through the forest with Hazard Man as a guide. As they entered the house of the Almighty Tallest, Han expressed his gratitude to the Mutant, hoping that they would meet again in the future.
On Thanksgiving, Hazard Man was visited by Jack Jarren & Dr. Zackary Vore, who were searching for a mystical item known as the Shadow Pumpkin. He let them search Zok Forest for it, not knowing for sure if it was there or not. They had no luck, so Jack teleported them to the woods behind Dan's grandmother's house, where they actually found the pumpkin. However, they were ambushed by the ominous entity, Equinox. Jack urged Zack to run while he would fight Equinox, who was unfortunately too strong for Jack to defeat. And then, out of nowhere, Hazard Man appeared & blasted Equinox with his Bio-Nuclear Beams, giving Jack the chance to escape & catch up with Zack. As he left, Hazard Man continued to fight, but eventually lost to Equinox. Still, he accomplished his mission, with Jack & Zack returning to Dan's house safely.
It is unknown as to what happened to Hazard Man during the End of the World on December 7th, but it's likely that he was spared.
=== A Breach in the Forest of Sin ===
On February 10th, 2019, Hazard Man sensed a disturbance in the forest, so he ran as fast as he could to see who or what had trespassed onto his territory. From the depths of Hell & out the Forest of Sin emerged a Demon named Tantrus. Hazard Man was quick to react & fought the hellspawn. Hazard Man appeared to have the upper hand at first, with Tantrus being hurt from his radioactive powers, but the Demon fought back & trapped him in a field of shadow flames. As Hazard Man put them out with his Bio-Nuclear Beams & ran towards his enemy, Tantrus immediately countered with his lazer vision & knocked Hazard Man down, uttering a wicked cackle as he left. Hazard Man survived, but was worried. He tried to contact Dan to tell him that a Demon had escaped the Forest of Sin, but unfortunately for him, his communicating device was broken thanks to Tantrus' lazer vision. Word of his escape did not reach the Tallest until much later.
Lord Claudius Ko'Al briefly said hello to Hazard Man in his shack during Halloween.
=== The Coronavirus Plague ===
When the Coronavirus was unleashed by Dr. Victor Zolostene on December 15th, Hazard Man was somehow able to detect it. He would find out what this was later on & informed the Irken Empire of this newfound epidemic.
MORE TO BE ADDED SOON(ISH)
== Personality ==
Hazard Man is a bit of an odd one. He appears to have a sick sense of humor, enough to get Fallaballa to laugh at what he has to say. He symbolically views life in general as a downward spiral, but that doesn't exactly mean he's completely negative. In fact, he seems to act very kindly to those who visit his forest (unless they are beings of pure evil). He is also very caring for his brother, Kalokorus, & is generally kind towards all Earth Mutants.
== Powers & Abilities ==
=== Physical Abilities ===
Megahuman Strength: Hazard Man is among one of the strongest Mutants on planet Earth, & his strength is not to be underestimated. His mutations have not only advanced him from Human to Superhuman, but from Superhuman to Megahuman. He is even strong enough to combat Tantrus, pierce through Megacorona's hide (with some help), & do considerable damage to Equinox in his weakened form. He is strong enough to destroy a small country.
Megahuman Speed: Hazard Man has a considerable amount of speed on his side. He has been seeing traversing through half of Zok Forest within seconds, so it's possible that he could run through the entire forest in one minute or so. He can run at a subsonic 550 miles per hour. However, his reaction speeds are much faster, as he was able to fight with a weakened Equinox & Tantrus, who can move at massively hypersonic speeds. Although Hazard Man lost those fights, it's possible that he can still move at least 1,000,000 miles per hour.
Invulnerability: Hazard Man has proven to be incredibly durable. He has survived through conventional weaponry, sword wounds, lazer beams, the fires of Hell, & was even able to withstand being thrown inside of Megacorona, though in that situation he faced a near-death experience after absorbing its power. He is tough enough to survive the destruction of a small country.
Regeneration: Because of the radiation in his body, Hazard Man's cells heal at a much faster rate than they would normally.
Skilled Marksmanship: As evident by his frost gun, Hazard Man has some experience with firearms.
=== Special Powers ===
Temperature Manipulation: Hazard Man can manipulate his own body temperature & even the temperature within his vicinity.
* Thermal Increase: Hazard Man can increase the temperature of his body & to an extent, the area around him. This can be very useful when combating a cyrokinetic or if he had to travel in an unforgiving cold environment. He could even use this power to warm someone up if they're shivering or worse.
* Thermal Hibernation: Hazard Man can enter a state of hibernation by setting his body to a comfortable enough temperature to accommodate the area he's in at the moment. This explains as to how he can thrive in Zok Forest throughout the winter. 
* Cold Immunity: Hazard Man is immune to ice-based attacks, & is evidently not affected by the cold.
Radiokinesis: Out of all the Mutants that spawned from the Chernobyl Disaster, Hazard Man came out as the most radioactive of them all. He's so hazardous that he needs to keep himself fully clothed at all times, otherwise his radiation will spread & harm nearby lifeforms.
* Electromagnetism: Hazard Man can disrupt electrical fields, as seen when the Omnipresent Camera glitched out while he was showing off his powers to Fallaballa. It's possible that he can use radio waves in a positive way, too. Otherwise, he would not own a communicating device that uses electricity to function.
** Radio Shields: Hazard Man is capable of generating electromagnetic force fields. These can come in handy not just for shielding himself from incoming attacks, but if he's in a place with no cell service, these force fields can fix that.
* Quarantine Meditation: Hazard Man follows a daily routine of meditation, claiming that it helps him control his powers. This would imply that he is still learning, & that someday, he can be more approachable for others. When he enters this meditated state, his radiation levels decrease exponentially, making him less hazardous to be around.
* Radiation Poisoning: Just by touching someone, Hazard Man can contaminate them with radiation poisoning. This is why he remains constantly concealed so that he can still interact with people.
* Nuclear Pulse: By punching into the ground, Hazard Man can release a pulsating wave of nuclear energy. When used on Tantrus, he fell to the ground & took some time to get up & recover.
* Bio-Nuclear Beams: Hazard Man's signature move, & quite possibly his deadliest, is the ability to fire yellow beams of concentrated radiation from his hands. These beams can reach up to 95,000,000° Fahrenheit (52,777,760° Celsius) in temperature.
Disease Manipulation: As one could tell by his name, Hazard Man is hazardous. He keeps himself concealed when around others just so that they don't become ill in his presence.
* Antivirus: Hazard Man claims to be immune to all known & unknown diseases. This is due to his mutations, as he has adapted a perfect, impenetrable immune system. As many diseases as he may get, his body cannot be negatively affected by them. Not even the infamous Coronavirus could infect him. It's possible that Hazard Man's biology could contain the cure for all known diseases. That is, if he were to give his body to science.
* Contagiousness: Hazard Man once jokingly stated that he has 18 sexually transmitted diseases, but given the dialogue exchange he had with Fallaballa after telling him that, it's implied that he's actually telling the truth. Given how hazardous he already is, it would be wise not to get near him if even the tiniest bit of his skin is showing.
* Disease Absorption: Hazard Man can manually absorb a virus out of a living organism, but it puts a slight strain on his body. This is how he was able to weaken Megacorona, despite it being much larger & far more powerful than him. Still, the effort nearly killed him because of how powerful Megacorona was.
== Equipment ==
Gas Mask: Hazard Man's mask prevents his air from contaminating people & animals he's next to within breathing range.
Frost Gun: When he's not using his powers, Hazard Man's go-to weapon is a gun which can freeze things upon contact. This gun is of the same model as Bassinator's & Stupid Boba Fett's.
Tetanus Shield: Though only seen once, Hazard Man owns a shield, but it's been heavily rusted. Still, he uses it as a means of defense & offense, as it has sharp jagged edges on one side of it. It's unknown what metal it's made out of, but it can be thrown like a frisbee & block projectiles.
== Weaknesses ==
Hazard Man's weaknesses are currently unknown.
== Trivia ==
* The scream he uttered while meditating in Fallaballa Meets Hazard Man is directly inspired by the meme "It is Wednesday, my dudes". 
* In that same video, he & Fallaballa reference the Slimes from the manga/anime series, Monster Musume while exploring the sinkholes in the snow. 
* It's unknown as to why he wasn't wearing his helmet while travelling with Han Velsing. It's likely he just forgot it.
* He uttered the catchphrase "GO BEYOND, PLUS ULTRA!" from the manga/anime series My Hero Academia when he was inside of Megacorona.
== Filmography ==
# THE FILTHY CHRONICLES OF DANKNESS: Fallaballa Meets Hazard Man
# Han Velsing & the Search for Discount Filthy Frank (Part 1) 
# The Second Weirdest Thanksgiving Special Ever 
# Hazard Man vs. Tantrus 
# Birdman: Mutant of the Skies (stock footage)
# The Return of IT (off-screen)
# LOOKS LIKE IT’S PLAGUING TIME 
# Antidyasis Commercial 
# PANDAMONIUM & SHARK PUPPET STEAL THE INFINITY GAUNTLET FROM THE ALMIGHTY TALLEST (NOT CLICKBAIT) 
# Watch the Skies (flashback)
# The End of the Plague
# It’s Been One (Literal) Hell of a Year
# A Return of Oddities (stock footage)
# Almighty Tallest Danny’s 4/26/22 Update (feat. HAL 9000) (photograph)
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Category:Tier 6
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