Snark Thompson

== Overview ==
Marchus "Snark" Thompson is a reporter for Chicago Illinois' Channel One News, who's life goal is to incriminate Chad Pwnhammer and his friends by any means necessary. Deepfakes, whistleblowers, and even bonkers lies he himself comes up with, Snark will do anything in his power to take down the Blue Menace's image.
He has gray, combed over hair, unnaturally white teeth, and hazel eyes. He wears a purple suit with a gray collar, a black undershirt, and a teal clip on tie.
== Biography ==
Marchus "Snark" Thompson was born to cause a ruckus. Breakin hearts', having all eyes on him, couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer, ever since he was 9, but things really started to kick up after his interview at Channel One News went in his favor due to his extreme charisma. He soon became a hit with viewers, tuning in not about the news, but to hear his bombastic retellings of the events, which are almost always blown way out of proportion.
Snark loved the fame so much, that the "bigger is better" mentality came back to take a chunk out of his ass, after he started to dedicate his career to trashing Chad Pwnhammer and the EDF's public image, with slanderous rumors, false witness accounts, moments taken out of context, and straight up fake news.
== Abilities & Weaknesses ==
=== Abilities ===
While having no powers himself, he has an incredibly technologically advanced microphone, that has tactics like,
Extending,
Electric Grille.
Solar charging Grille, 
Extendable USB cable from the bottom,
And Satellite and Bluetooth connection.
He's a certified helicopter pilot,
And he also owns an "illegal" sawn-off Mossberg 500, which he inherited from his Father.
=== Weaknesses ===
His massive Ego can often be used against him, taking embarrassment as a near death sentence.
While it is extremely difficult, if you simply ignore him, he does not have ANY idea what to do in order to counter it.
== Trivia ==
* Snark does not hate Chad, but has made it his goal to atleast annoy him constantly when he is heroing.
*If Snark was an animal, he'd be a mockingbird.
*He has a fully qualified helicopter pilot's license, and is pretty darn good at flying it too.
* It is a miracle that Snark still has his job.
*Snark LOVES snow days, and uses his vacation days to take trips to places like Canada, Alaska, and even Yemen.
* Snark often commit's tax fraud, doing so on days when large villain attacks take place, so the IRS will prioritize damage control over his fake numbers.
* Snark's gimmick is based off of J. Jonah Jameson from MARVEL comics, both wanting to badmouth a revered superheroes status.
* His name is Marchus because his parents decided his life was going to be difficult.
* There was a scrapped idea to have Chad find a Porno that Snark was a star in. This was trashed for obvious reasons.
== Gallery ==
File:SNARK.png|Snark after hearing a particularly juicy take.
File:Snarchus.png|Snark in Jackbox
File:Uhohfux.png|Snark about to demolish Fux for lying
File:Snarkblahblah.gif|Snark blabbering
File:Sarnk.png
Category:Villains