Up the Tokyo Tower

The ninth chapter of Total Drama Tokyo, posted on April 21, 2012.
==Story==
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, the contestants were ambushed by gigantic monsters in the woods. They were Japanese yo-moms, or whatever they're called. It was really weird and confusing, and the challenge made no sense. Anyway, I think the Dharmas lost, and I can't even recall who they voted out... Oh yeah. Smart-ass Neal, who let his smartassery get the best of him once again, poor guy. But yeah, so tune in today to see what happens on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"
Chef walks in to Chris' room. "Hey, dude, bad news."
"What? Jimmy burnt my bagel again?" asks Chris.
"No, th' producers say that Tokyo ain't successful, whatever that means. I think we're losin' viewers," says Chef.
"Why? Aren't the kids this season likable?" asks Chris.
"Naw. There's th' problem," says Chef. "Everyone says th' TDRev cast was better."
"Well, they were... I mean, no way! These guys are awesome!" says Chris.
"No, they ain't. Jus' bring back th' TDR cast for an episode or somethin'," says Chef.
"That won't get us viewers!" says Chris.
"Yeah, it will," says Chef. "Trust me."
"Fine, contact the TDRev contestants and tell them that they can make an appearance this episode," says Chris.
"But, what if they do bad stuff? Like... y'know, BAD stuff?" asks Chef.
"Relax, if they do that, we will get into lawsuits and win," says Chris.
"Aight," says Chef. "See ya."
The scene changes to the Tanukis' room.
Puck is listening to his uPod and singing along extremely loudly. His headphones are rustling, and the music can be heard from his earbuds.
"Puck, STFU," says Thomas. "Tryin' to sleep."
"Yeah, if you don't stop we'll vote you out," says Casey. "JK, I love you."
"YOU DON'T KNOOO-O-O-O-OOW, YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL," sings Puck obnoxiously.
"Ugh, I hate that band, the boys aren't cute and one of them looks like Kavren," says Casey.
"Kavren was cute," says Vivienne.
"No, he was fuglier than a rotten banana," says Casey.
Casey says in the confessional, "Actually, Kavren was kind of cute. Except, Chelsey hated him, if I remember correctly, and I gotta be like Chels."
"Hi, how is everyone?" asks Flora, waking up.
"Crappy," says Thomas. Everyone except Puck agrees.
"THE WAY THAT YOU FLIP YO' HAIR MAKES ME OVAAAH-WHELMED," sings Puck.
Thomas throws a rock at Puck's uPod, and it explodes.
"Gee, thanks, guy," says Puck.
"Any time," says Thomas. "Now, can we talk about our team, and how we can make it better?"
"Maybe we can vote Puck out next," says Casey.
"Aww," says Puck. "But whatever, it don't affect me!"
"I just miss Kai and Horatio," says Vivienne. "Our team keeps getting smaller."
"Yes," says Flora. "Sad, is it not?"
"Kai didn't really do much, and Horatio was kind of weird, like he was too chill," says Thomas.
"Hey, criticizing others is wrong!" says Puck. "By the way, I hate that Layla girl."
Thomas scoffs. "Exactly."
Meanwhile, the Dharmas are chilling in their dorm as well.
"Well, at least Neal's gone, he kind of annoyed me," says Kai.
Delia is watching Pora the Adventurer.
"That's my favorite show!!!" says Isabel gleefully. "Can I watch?"
"Yes, as long as you don't talk," says Delia.
"I can't talk!" says Isabel. "No worries. Heehee."
"You can talk, you just said you can't talk. That makes no sense," says Kai. "Hey, where's Layla?"
"In the bathroom with Charles," says Delia.
"She always tells Charles to go to the bathroom for her, though. Why is she in there?" asks Kai.
"I may or may not have locked her in," says Delia maliciously.
"That's fine, she's rude," says Kai.
"Hehe, this show is so great! Shoes the gorilla is soooo adorable!" says Isabel.
"Um, yeah," says Kai.
"You disgust me," says Delia.
Layla is shown in the bathroom with Charles, who is texting.
"Charles, tell Tiffany to send me a pic of her new boyfriend," says Layla.
"But I do not know the 'texting language'," says Charles.
"Just... do whatever," says Layla. "Ugh."
Charles sends a text to Layla's friend. It says, "Salutations, Tiffany. I would like to see a new, groovy, hip snapshot of your new B.F. TTYL, Layla-poo."
"What did it say?" asks Layla.
Charles shows the text to her. Layla makes a growling noise.
"Can't I get out of here? I am having a migraine," says Charles.
"Nobody cares about your health issues, Charles," says Layla. "Especially me."
"I am old, my health is declining," says Charles.
"Cool story, bro," says Layla. "Floss my teeth. I just ate some Mickey D's Crunchy Zesty Chik'n, and the breading is stuck in my teeth," says Layla.
Charles takes out a container of floss. "All right..."
"FASTER!" yells Layla. Charles flosses a bit faster.
The Fish Tails are shown in their dorm. Tolkien is writhing in his bed.
"Is he having a dream?" asks Horatio.
"Think so. Shh, maybe he'll sleep-talk. This is gonna be great," says Julian, taking out a camera.
A thought bubble appears over Tolkien's head, and the camera is led into his dream, where he's standing on a grassy field with an olive leaf in his hair and a toga on.
"What's happening?" he asks, looking at his Greek-styled clothing.
Roz then appears out of nowhere. She is wearing a helmet and war clothing.
"Pick me," says Roz. "And your life will be super fun and exciting and stuff. Like, I'm super hot and cute and whatever you like in a girl."
"What the..." says Tolkien.
Ari then appears out of nowhere. She is wearing a silk dress and has a crown on.
"Pick me!" she says. "Because I truly like you, and you're the one boy I've actually had a real crush on... You're cute."
"I am? I am!" says Tolkien, smiling ostentatiously.
A gigantic figure in a black cloak carrying a scythe appears.
"The Black Mage..." says Tolkien in awe.
"Piiiick meeeee," says the Mage in an insanely deep voice. "Because you have been neglecting your caaaards, and you now only care about girls, you fooool. We need some love, tooooo."
"What the crap is happening?" asks Tolkien. "Is this some realization that I'm torn between three things I really love, and I have to pick one?"
"Yeah, basically," says Roz.
"Crap, what am I going to do?" he says in shock.
"Pick one, Toooolkien. You must pick one, or I will obliterate yoooou..." says the Mage.
"I pick..." says Tolkien. A burrito appears in his hand. "Burrito?"
Julian and Horatio are shown dangling a burrito in front of Tolkien's face while he is asleep.
"Noooo!" says Ari, Roz, and the Mage as they disappear into smoke.
Tolkien wakes up with bags under his eyes, sweating a lot. "What? Where am I?!"
"Don't worry, it was only just a dreeeeam..." says Julian.
"That was so weird. Like, I had to pick between Roz, Ari, and the Black Mage from L&L, and I picked burrito!" says Tolkien.
Roz falls from the ceiling. "Did somebody say Roz?"
"Shut up, Roz, he's trying to explain," says Estrella.
"Since when did you care?" asks Horatio.
"I don't," says Estrella. "I just enjoy silencing others."
"Tolky, you had a dream? What was it about? Me?" asks Roz.
"If you paid attention, you would know," says Estrella snidely.
"STFU, Estrella. And yes, it was about you," says Tolkien. "And Ari, and a character from my card game."
"Was I in a bikini, being sexy?" asks Roz.
"No," says Tolkien.
"You wish," says Julian jokingly. Tolkien glares at him.
"All right, whatever," says Horatio.
"Could this be an omen?" asks Tolkien nervously.
"An omen that you need to start playing more L&L? Yes, it sure is," says Estrella.
"Ooh, cool, you like L&L?" asks Tolkien with wide eyes.
"No, I just want you to not talk so much, and L&L seems like it could do that," says Estrella.
Tolkien pouts. "I'm going to make myself a sandwich."
"Make me one, I be hungry," says Julian.
"Nah," says Tolkien.
Roz turns on the TV to the movie Step Sisters.
"Ooh, I love this movie! And double-ooh, it's the steamy part!" says Julian. "Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore."
"You just like the steamy part because you'll never get a girl to do that with you and you like to imagine me and you in place of the two characters. Not gonna happen," says Estrella.
Julian looks pissed. "Nooo..."
"Ha ha, Julian the lover-boy," says Horatio.
"So, guys, how is everyone?" asks Tolkien, attempting to make conversation while making his sandwich.
"Can I have your sandwich?" asks Horatio.
Tolkien throws his sandwich at Horatio.
"Fatty," says Julian.
Horatio throws the sandwich at Julian.
"Hey, man, don't overreact," says Julian.
Horatio rolls his eyes. "K, whatever you say."
Chris walks in. "Hey, everyone!"
Everyone is completely silent.
"So much for trying to be nice," says Chris. "Anyway, you have a challenge, be sure to meet me in the middle of the city."
"But it's like 2:00 in the morning," says Tolkien.
"Yeah, so? Tokyo is pretty at night," says Chris. "And the challenge will be pretty easy."
"I've heard that before," scoffs Estrella.
"Are there Yokai this time?" asks Julian fearfully. "Or gigantic bouncing green heads?"
"Nope," says Chris. "Even better."
The contestants are all shown at the bottom of the Tokyo Tower at night time, with small ropes.
"You call this fun? We could die," says Kai.
"Why don't you just use your magic to fly?" scoffs Layla.
"Can't, it comes out randomly, that's only happened once," says Kai. "And it happened to be the day I was robbing a Duncan Donuts. Pretty lucky, eh?"
"Ooh, I love donuts! They're so cute!" squeals Isabel.
"Whatever," says Chris. "Now, today's challenge is pretty simple. You guys just gotta climb up the Tokyo Tower, all the way to the top."
"Where are our harnesses?" asks Thomas.
"You don't get any. You guys have to use these little ropes, but not without the help of some veteran contestants," says Chris.
"Ooh, the TDRev-ites you were talking about?" asks Casey. "Can we get Chelsey?"
"You'll have to see," says Chris. "Now, Chef, will you please?"
Chef comes in driving an ice cream truck. He throws out a gigantic sack that seems to have people in it.
"Each team will get a boy and a girl, who will be put on a platform near the top and will help you get to the top safely," says Chris.
"Whoo-hoo!" says Tolkien. "I hope I get my cuz!"
"I don't, he's disturbing," says Estrella.
"You know what, so are you. So zip it," says Tolkien, offended.
"All right, guys, Fish Tails, here are your two helpers," says Chris.
Kavren crawls out of the bag, walking on his hands.
"Hey, everyone!" he says happily.
"Hey, cuz!" says Tolkien.
"Wow, sure are a lot of sexy ladies here, eh?" he whispers to Tolkien.
"Yeah, but you have a girlfriend..." says Tolkien.
"Oh, wait. Sorry, my noodle," says Kavren, referring to Abbey.
"So, we get this Kavren kid? Who's the other one?" asks Julian.
Chris then opens the bag, and Cammy comes out.
"I don't want to do this," she says.
"Well, this is a little bit better. Hello, Cam. Glad to see you again," says Estrella, smiling.
"Are you SMILING?!" yells Julian.
Estrella realizes what she has done, and changes back to a scowl.
"Hey, Strelly," says Cammy. "How's Tokyo?"
"Crappy," says Estrella. "Mr. Afro over there likes me."
"Ouch," says Cammy. "Me and Trick are still going strong..."
"You're lucky. Trick is attractive," says Estrella.
Julian makes an abhorrent face and mimics Estrella, obviously jealous.
"Oh, shut up, Julian," says Estrella.
"Seems like an interesting bunch," says Cammy dryly.
"Sure is," says Estrella.
Kavren is watching Tolkien play cards.
"Hey, since when were you so nerdy, bloops?" asks Kavren.
Tolkien looks at him, then shakes his head.
"Can you just show us the people we get?" whines Layla.
"Be patient," says Chris.
"Charles, make time go faster," says Layla.
"Is that possible?" asks Charles sullenly.
"Nothing's impossible, butt-wipe," says Layla angrily.
Chris shakes his head, and goes to the bag.
PJ walks out.
"YES!" yells Delia loudly.
Kai, Isabel, and Layla glance at her.
"Never heard you talk so loudly..." says Kai.
"Sorry, but PJ is my hero," says Delia.
"Ugh, I hated this chick," says Layla.
"Can you guys at least acknowledge my presence?!" yells PJ.
"Oh, hey, Peej," says Kai.
"..." says PJ.
"And, the other contestant, please welcome that jerk who everyone hates, Northworth," says Chris.
"Hey, that's kind of dirty," says Northworth. "Anyway, s'up, guys?"
"Nothing much," says Kai irritatedly.
"Swaaaaaaaaaag," says Northworth.
"You have none," says Delia quietly.
"Ooh, I love swag! Hee, hee. Who is that short little cute guy? His ears are soooo big!" says Isabel.
"What is wrong with this chick? I mean, she's hot, but..." says Northworth angrily.
"I'm not hot. I'm actually shivery. Can I borrow your sweatshirt, Delia?" asks Isabel.
"No," says Delia gruffly.
Chris then goes to the bag and blows a loud whistle.
Everyone suddenly shuts up.
"The Tanukis are left," says Chris.
Casey is crossing her fingers, and Puck just stands there.
Chelsey walks out of the bag with a scowl on her face.
Casey just stands there.
"IVDTJDGKDKDFTYJEXJRYB LW;E;,YNMERKNSEKBR R,C./E.B,OITYONSRU QIYWIW83NY RKUSUYNBHKUYREM,SNI.," says Casey.
"Well, hello, I see I have a fan. Have I seen you before?" asks Chelsey.
"Yeah... You don't recognize me?!" yells Casey happily.
"Oh, yeah, you're that one weird unpopular girl who follows me," says Chelsey.
Casey makes a little squeal and turns green.
"Casey, right?" asks Chelsey.
"You... know... my... name!" yells Casey extremely gleefully.
Casey turns even more green and passes out.
"Uh, can we get an ambulance?" asks Chelsey.
"Sure," says Chris. Two interns come in, stomp on Casey's chest, then leave.
"I think she's good," says the first intern.
"Yup," says the second one.
"Who's our other guy?" asks Puck.
Dolph appears out of nowhere. The bag turns into paper streamers.
"Greetings, loved ones," says Dolph.
"Hey, Dolph, ready to win this challenge for us?" asks Thomas.
"I will certainly try my hardest," says Dolph. He then chuckles.
The scene then switches to about twenty minutes later, where the TDRev contestants are on platforms with the team colors (pink, purple, and orange) on them.
"Try not to kill them," says Cammy angrily to Kavren.
"Don't tell me what to do," says Kavren.
"Just, can you not talk or something?" asks Cammy.
"You still mad at me for being annoying?" asks Kavren. "Grow up."
"I'm the one who has to grow up?" asks Cammy.
Kavren waggles his finger.
At the bottom of the tower, Tolkien says, "Roz, wanna climb with me?"
"Ha, you're just saying that so I can catch you when you fall," says Roz.
"Not true," says Tolkien. "Just climb with me."
"Charles, make Kai and Delia climb so I don't have to," says Layla.
"What about Isabel?" asks Kai.
"She's dangerously stupid," snaps Layla.
"Yeah, I didn't know that," says Kai sarcastically.
Thomas is shown with Casey.
"Let's climb, dude," says Thomas.
Casey is hyperventilating. "I'm only climbing... so I can get... closer to... Chelsey."
"Aww, come on, even Puck is better than that fugly Chelsey girl," says Thomas. Puck winces.
Casey slaps Thomas. "TAKE IT BACK."
"Wow, someone sure likes Chelsey..." whispers Vivienne. Flora nods.
Chris takes out a gun.
"Ready to go?" he asks.
"Yup," says everyone.
Chris shoots the gun extremely loudly. The contestants begin to climb.
Northworth and PJ are shown at the top of the tower.
"All right, you creepy fat chick, if you want to win the challenge for these artards, you better help me pull," says Northworth.
"..." says PJ.
"Why won't you answer me?" he demands.
"Muh," says PJ.
"All right, this is hopeless," says Northworth.
PJ pulls the rope.
Kai and Delia are hoisted a little bit upward.
"PJ, you stink," says Northworth. "Ever heard of deodorant?"
An irritated PJ slaps Northworth.
"Hey, now that was uncalled for," says Northworth angrily.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PULL US UP ALREADY!" says Kai.
"Bring out your magic," says Delia. "They are obviously not cooperating."
"I might have to..." says Kai.
Kai takes out his magic wand. "WANNA SEE ME USE THIS?" he yells.
"Yeah, let's see this @#$%& make a complete ass out of himself on national television," says Northworth.
"..." says PJ, seething with rage.
"Just pull the damn rope," says Northworth.
Meanwhile, Roz is climbing up the rope with Tolkien on her back.
"Look! I'm a rabid monkey! Aiyayayayaya," says Roz peppily.
"Hey, didn't Izzy say that?" asks Tolkien.
Roz nods excitedly.
"How do you know how to climb so well?" asks Tolkien.
"Eh, I've been to climbing school," says Roz.
"Wow, that weird chick sure is doing well. If we win, we may get the 20 bucks Chris promised us," says Cammy.
"Chris never said anything about twenty bucks," says Kavren.
"Eh, whatever," says Cammy.
Roz and Tolkien get a bit higher.
Kavren and Cammy are just standing there awkwardly next to each other.
"Bloop pork!" says Kavren, attempting to encourage the contestants and start a conversation.
"You know, dude, that's not really helping," says Tolkien loudly.
"Whatevs," says Kavren.
"Kavren, just shut up so we can win," says Cammy. She then takes out her phone.
"Who ya teeextin'?" asks Kavren annoyingly.
"My boyfriend, hop off," says Cammy.
"Is he saying, 'Ooh! I love Cammy! I totes wanna kiss her! Ooh, yeah! And do other naughty things! Hee, hee!'" says Kavren in a falsetto voice.
"Yes, Kavren. That's exactly what he's saying," says Cammy sarcastically. "Cause Trick totally says that kind of stuff."
"That Kavren kid is annoying," says Thomas while climbing with Casey.
"SHUT UP," says Casey. "We need to get to Chelsey."
"Are you even a small bit worried that the ginger is so obsessed with you?" asks Dolph.
"Nah, I'm pretty flattered, actually," says Chelsey, giggling.
"Can we just climb a bit faster?" asks Kai.
"I am trying to go slowly so we do not die," says Delia softly.
Thomas and Casey pass Delia and Kai, leaving them in last.
Kai shouts something rude.
"Oh, forgot to say!" yells Chris on his megaphone. "You can only win the challenge if both climbers make it to the top! If one falls, and they're still alive, then they have to be rescued!"
"Chris is getting worse and worse!" says Flora to Vivienne, who nods.
Thomas begins to stumble.
Casey looks on in shock. "Thomas, whatever you do, do NOT fall. I will slaughter you," she says.
Thomas says in the confessional, with bandages all over him and a broken arm, "Ugh, Casey is annoying. Why can't she get over her Chelsey obsession? The chick doesn't even like her."
"All right, all right. Roz, we're almost there," says Tolkien.
"I think I can see that, Tolky," yells Roz.
Kavren looks at Tolkien and Roz.
He works with Cammy to pull the rope, reluctantly, and the two pull Tolkien and Roz up to the top.
"Whoo-hoo! We did it!" says Kavren. "Bro-five?" he asks to Cammy.
Cammy shakes her head. "Nice try."
Tolkien is sweating heavily. "That was insane... Ugh, Kav, mind if I puke in your shirt..."
"Lawlz, sure," says Kavren. "Arthur does that all the time."
"Sometimes I question your sanity," says Cammy.
"You know, you should really be saying that to Roz," says Tolkien.
Roz is banging on the Tokyo Tower, and a bird flies out. She growls at the bird and it flies away, frightened.
Chris is yelling with his loudspeaker. "CONGRATS, FISH TAILS, YOU GUYS WIN FOR TONIGHT. NOW, DHARMAS AND TANUKIS, YOU GOTTA GET GOING."
Kai is dangling over the side. "Uh, a little help here?"
"I won't help you," says Delia. "I want to lose, so we can vote out Layla."
"Ugh, sure, fine, whatever," says Kai.
Casey and Thomas are about an inch from the finish.
"Thomas, now, be sure to not do anything stupid..." says Casey.
Thomas sneezes, and he falls off the rope and to the bottom of the tower, screaming.
A loud "WHUMP!" is heard, and Thomas makes a human-shaped hole in the ground.
Thomas comes out, looking woozy with his bones broken. "Eeeeegggh." He gives a thumbs up.
"NOOO!" says Casey. She quickly finishes climbing. "Hai Chelsey!" she says gleefully.
"Ugh, leave me alone," says Chelsey.
"Chels, you said you were flattered a few minutes ago," says Dolph.
"Well, I realized that this chick is unpopular and creepy," says Chelsey.
Casey looks for a second, and begins to cry.
"Oh, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything!" says Chelsey.
"SJDRYNFYHID!" yells Casey. She gracefully jumps off the side of the tower, lands on one of the wider parts, then slides down.
"Something tells me she won't like Chelsey too much anymore," mutters Puck.
Casey comes down. "Nah, I still love her, I'm just not happy."
Puck slaps his head in anger.
"Yo, Chris, did we win?" he asks, going up to Chris.
"Nope, cause Thomas fell before you both touched the finish. The Dharmas got 2nd, and you guys have to vote someone out!" says Chris happily.
Kai and Delia cheer from atop the tower.
"Whatever," says Northworth to PJ. "I did all the work."
PJ, quite angry, kicks Northworth off of the tower.
"AAAAAAAAUGH!" yells Northworth while falling.
"My work here is done," says PJ.
Kai looks at Delia. "I guess Layla will have to stay another day, huh?"
"I guess," says Delia.
"..." says PJ, and she waves, then slides down the tower.
"That never gets old," says Kai.
The Tanukis are shown in their room, later.
"Ugh, that hurt a lot," says Thomas, in a full-body cast.
"Well, it's your fault for sneezing," yells Casey.
"Who are we going to vote out?" asks Flora happily.
"Casey, Thomas, or Puck," whispers Vivienne.
Puck is playing a video game. "Ehhh?"
"Oh, nothing..." says Vivienne.
Puck says in the confessional, "Well, Casey is pretty 'chill', but Thomas isn't 'cool', then again, neither is boring ol' Flora."
Casey says in the confessional, "You have no idea how pissed I am. CHELSEY, I STILL LOVE YOU!" She blows a kiss to the camera.
The Tanukis are shown at elimination.
"All righty, time for another elimination. Flora and Viv, you two are safe," says Chris.
Vivienne cheers, and Chef reluctantly tosses the two sushi. Flora's sushi hits her in the head.
"Ow," says Flora blandly.
"Also, Casey," says Chris. "Unfortunately."
Casey catches the sushi and crushes it in her hands. "Ugh."
"Puck and Thomas..." says Chris. "Thomas, you're crippled now, plus you're not too nice, and Puck, you're just annoying. The final sushi goes to..."
"Ale-Alejandro, Ale-Alejandroooo..." sings Dolph.
"Shoo," says Chris irritatedly.
Dolph flies away on his magical Nyan Cat.
"As I was saying, final sushi goes to..." says Chris.
"Puck."
Thomas loudly says something censored that rhymes with Puck.
"Whoo, yeah!" says Puck. He starts to dance, and goes back to the camp.
"Well, whatever," says Thomas. "Kind of expected this. Casey, you idiot, who do you like? Me or Puck? Make up your mind. Vivienne, you're creepy, and I hate the color purple, as well as witch hats. Flora, you're the most boring person I have ever met. And Puck, just shut up, and you'll be liked better."
Everyone gapes at Thomas.
"We love you too, Tom," says Vivienne sarcastically.
"Just get out of here," says Casey. "By the way, I like Puck."
"Hehe, hehe, hehe," chuckles Puck. Casey pinches him, and he stops.
Thomas limps to the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers, and gets in.
"Another contestant gone! Who will be out next? Will Casey try to find Chelsey again? Will Tolkien have any more warped dreams? And what will Layla make Charles do this time? Find out on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"