You Can't Win

You Can't Win was an All That game show skit, featuring host Jerry Fytootal (surname later changed to Futile), played by Josh Server. Three contestants, played by other cast members, would appear on the show. As the title suggested, it was quite literally impossible for the contestants to win. The first round featured quiz questions that either had no answer or were incomplete (a classic example: "How many shoes?"). 
Jerry: Ooooo, WRONG! Uh, the answer was "nine"! Nine shoes.
Antoine (Kenan Thompson): Why nine shoes?
(buzzer sounds)
Jerry: You spoke out of turn; that's a penalty of 5,000 points, Antoine!
Antoine: But I haven't got any points.
Jerry: AND YOU NEVER WILL! -5,000 for Antoine.
In addition, certain events could trigger a massive loss of points, such as speaking when not supposed to, or saying a certain word (On one occasion, a contestant actually answered the question correctly; Jerry then claimed that he did not hear the contestant). After the quiz round, contestants would be asked to perform random and completely difficult tasks, such as transforming a sheep into a dolphin or putting their entire foot in their entire mouth in ten seconds, or speaking to a dog in another language. This was a notable occasion in which contestant Antoine(played by Kenan Thompson) refused to participate in the final challenge by pouring the bowl of pudding on Jerry's head and left. On one notable occasion, female bodybuilder Helga Schlumpkenfist (played by Danny Tamberelli) actually completed her task: eating 400 meatballs within 10 seconds. However, she accidentally ate three extra meatballs and once again lost. Angered by this, she brutally mauled Jerry, and then declared herself the winner.
Category:All That sketches