Headhunters 5: The Magnificent Seven

==Introduction==
Bonjour! Un nouveau pays, mais le même découpage. Je vous écrit du Québec et je suis heureux d'être encore en vie. On ne peut pas en dire autant de Scott. RIP.
==In Memoriam: Never Done This Before AKA Hoyer the Destroyer AKA Billy Jeans Ride or Die==
This week we finally say goodbye to the team with as many names as dollars left in the bank at the time of their demise. I would call it an untimely demise, but it was pretty timely.
The week started with Billy Jean buying Calvin Ridley for $21, but then benching him for Christian Kirk who scored 8.40 to Ridley's 34.10. Sad to say it's that time of year where teams have a bunch of players who are all of similar caliber and you have to roll the dice on who to start. Turns out this was the first time Calvin Ridley decided to show up since opening week of the season. Who woulda thought? 
But really the bad luck started on Thursday night. When faced with a choice to ride or die, Mark Andrews chose die. And that seemed really bad, except for the fact that his buddy Headless Horsemen lost Joe Burrow moments later and the eye of Glorio turned towards him, leaving Billy Jean Baggins unwatched. 
One of the untold stories of this season is that Headless Horsemen was introduced to the league by Billy Jean, and the two teams had a side bet going for who would last longer. The winner gets $100 worth of beer from the Tree House Brewing Company. With Andrews and Burrow both going down, it really seemed like this week was for all the kegs. 
The suck would continue for Horsemen as he lost Aaron Jones and De'Von Achane. But while Horsemen lost players, Billy Jean had players that just looked lost. A.J. Frown made fantasy manager miserable on Monday night, especially Billy Jean who was toe-to-Matoemes with Patrick Mahomes heading into the night. Geno Smith was GeNO good in the 4th. And Hollywood Brown wasn't anywhere on set, leading the director to yell CUT at the executioner in charge of chopping Scotty's head. 
So there you have it. Scotty bid big early and made some amazing moves to keep his team going. But he failed to crack the riddle of Calvin Ridley and succumbed to injury, as so many teams do in Headhunters. So now Headless horsemen will be sipping some free beer and heading to week 12, while Scott is forced to go back home to his beautiful family like a chump. 
Billy Jeans Ride or Die:
==Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)==
Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)
Team 	2023 Finish	2022 Finish	2021 Finish	2020 Finish	2019 Finish
Hasta Laviska Baby 	18th (-17) 	1st (+16) 	17th (-7) 	10th (+2) 	12th
Out of Luck 	17th (-13) 	4th (+-0) 	4th (+1) 	5th (+9) 	14th
Bobecue Chicken 	16th (-1) 	15th (-12) 	3rd (+14) 	17th (-10) 	7th
Jethro's Glorious Team 	15th (+1) 	N/A 	16th (-7) 	9th (+7) 	16th
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	14th (+-0) 	14th (+2) 	19th (-6) 	3rd (-2) 	1st
The Guilloteam 	13th (-2) 	11th (+2) 	13th (-6) 	7th (-4) 	3rd
deCaPitated 	12th (-9) 	3rd (+11) 	14th (-8) 	6th (-4) 	2nd
What Hurts Moore? 	11th (+6) 	16th (-6) 	11th (-9) 	2nd 	N/A
Extra Tight Ends 	10th (+2) 	12th (-2) 	10th (+6) 	16th (-11) 	5th
RIP Diggs my RIP for sure-oh	9th (-7) 	2nd (+7) 	9th (+6) 	15th (-9) 	6th
Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	8th (+-0) 	8th (-3) 	5th (-1) 	4th (+11) 	15th
Nothing wrong with consistency. 
==Dead Money==
Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.
Dead Money 2023
Dead Money	% of Total Eliminated Cash
$4,932 	45%
$1 left to his name. A tragedy. 
==Top New Releases==
#AJ Brown
#Jahmyr Gibbs
#Justin Fields
#Tyler Lockett
#Christian Kirk
==Week Eleven Bidding Results==
Week Eleven Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid	Next Highest Bid
Tyreek Hill 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack	$111 	$93 (Jeff Probst' Tribe)
Stefon Diggs 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$102 	$93 (Jeff Probst' Tribe)
Jerome Ford 	Müller Lite 	$46 	$40 (Bad Boys II)
Rachaad White 	Müller Lite 	$37 	$8 (Headless Horsemen)
Dalton Schultz 	Jeff Probst' Tribe 	$22 	N/A
Washington Defense	Müller Lite 	$12 	$5 (Henry VIII)
Jaylen Warren 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$6 	$4 (Bad Boys II)
Detroit Defense 	Henry VIII 	$2 	N/A
Baker Mayfield 	Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	$1 	N/A
Hollywood Brown 	Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	$1 	N/A
Ty Chandler 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack	$1 	N/A
===Quick-Hit Thoughts===
*Last Year's Most Expensive Player: Jakobi Meyers - $45 (Out of Luck)
*Biggest Overpay: Rachaad White ($29 over next highest bid - Müller Lite)
*Narrowest Margin of Bid Victory: Jerome Ford ($6 over next highest bid - Müller Lite)
*Ty Chandler more like Why Chandler? Also RIP Chandler Bing. 
*Bad Boys ending up with Tyreek Hill basically makes all his wheeling and dealing worth it. 
*Müller Lite at the phase of the season where he has more money than he knows what to do with. 
*Baker Mayfield is one of those players that I just genuinely never think about. Like I know he plays for the Bucs but sometimes i'm like "or is it the Saints?" And speaking of the Saints, amazing that a team can be in first place and also completely irrelavent. I'm sure they are still a franchise but maybe not. 
==Excessive Spend==
Excessive spend is anything over a single dollar more than the next highest bid for the player you won, and does not take into account the talent level or value of the player.
Excessive Spend
Team 	Excessive Spend
Never Done This Before	$414
Headless Horsemen 	$332
What Hurts Moore? 	$284
RIP Diggs my RIP 	$275
deCaPitated 	$274
Henry VIII 	$261
Monty's Python 	$249
Müller Lite 	$211
Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$194
Jeff Probst' Tribe 	$150
Jethro's Glorious Team	$146
Bobecue Chicken 	$138
Bad Boys II 	$132
The Guilloteam 	$107
Extra Tight Ends 	$43
Al Snows Fav Squad 	$2
Bad Boys super impressive considering he has spent over $1,000 this season. 
==Money Spent Per Week==
Money Spent Per Week
Week	Budget Spent 	Budget Spent (2022)	Budget Spent (2021)	Budget Spent (2020)	Budget Spent (2019)
2 	$2,315 (16 Players)	$1,560 (15 Players)	$9 (2 Players) 	$1,173 (12 Players)	$1,339 (7 Players)
3 	$1,423 (15 Players)	$1,160 (10 Players)	$1,283 (10 Players)	$1,033 (7 Players) 	$1,902 (15 Players)
4 	$1,256 (14 Players)	$1,475 (10 Players)	$657 (8 Players) 	$1,182 (11 Players)	$1,614 (11 Players)
5 	$1,612 (16 Players)	$1,740 (13 Players)	$1,376 (11 Players)	$181 (4 Players) 	$1,743 (14 Players)
6 	$1,203 (13 Players)	$1,355 (14 Players)	$1,231 (10 Players)	$1,542 (10 Players)	$1,018 (11 Players)
7 	$1,040 (16 Players)	$45 (6 Players) 	$965 (10 Players) 	$1,494 (13 Players)	$1,036 (9 Players)
8 	$1,244 (16 Players)	$1,085 (13 Players)	$2,159 (15 Players)	$1,938 (17 Players)	$630 (7 Players)
9 	$675 (11 Players) 	$552 (9 Players) 	$1,059 (12 Players)	$1,454 (12 Players)	$624 (6 Players)
10 	$599 (11 Players) 	$424 (14 Players) 	$1,393 (9 Players) 	$712 (6 Players) 	$386 (8 Players)
11 	$341 (11 Players) 	$48 (2 Players) 	$1,121 (16 Players)	$777 (8 Players) 	$176 (6 Players)
==Week Eleven Results==
Week Eleven Results
Finish (Last Week)	Player 	Total Points
1 (1) 	Jeff Probst' Tribe (Joe Cola) 	240.36
2 (2) 	Monty's Python (Derek) 	236.68
3 (5) 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack (KVR) 	226.89
4 (7) 	Müller Lite (Roger) 	216.86
5 (8) 	Henry VIII (Commish) 	190.17
6 (4) 	Headless Horsemen (Andrew) 	175.51
7 (3) 	Obi-Wan Mahomie (Wolfe) 	165.44
8 (6) 	Billy Jeans Ride or Die (Scott) 	146.59
9 	RIP Diggs my RIP for sure-oh (Nate)	0
10 	Extra Tight Ends (Keeling) 	0
11 	What Hurts Moore? (Coach Tebo) 	0
12 	deCaPitated (Chris) 	0
13 	The Guilloteam (Pat) 	0
14 	Al Snows Fav Squad (Zach) 	0
15 	Jethro's Glorious Team (Jethro) 	0
16 	Bobecue Chicken (Bob) 	0
17 	Out of Luck (Papa) 	0
18 	Hasta Laviska Baby (Jared) 	0
*Biggest Climber: Müller Lite/Henry VIII (^3)
*Biggest Faller: Obi-Wan Mahomie (v4)
==Draft Dodgers==
Team Results Based on Draft Position
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	ALIVE
2 	Extra Tight Ends 	9
3 	The Guilloteam 	6
4 	What Hurts Moore? 	8
5 	Al Snows Fav Squad 	5
6 	Henry VIII 	ALIVE
7 	Müller Lite 	ALIVE
8 	Never Done This Before 	ALIVE
9 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack 	ALIVE
10 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	4
11 	Monty's Python 	ALIVE
12 	Bobecue Chicken 	3
13 	Out of Luck 	2
14 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	1
15 	Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	11
16 	Jeff Probst' Tribe 	ALIVE
17 	Tee Diggs my Chubb for sure-oh	10
18 	deCaPitated 	7
Only one pick in the 6-11 range has been eliminated. 
==Kings of the Castle==
===1. Jeff Probst' Tribe===
They call him Jeff "Brittney Spears" Probst because oops, he did it again. The man has been in New Zealand for two weeks and has yet to finish outside of 1st. At this rate he needs to stay over there until he finishes below the top spot, like when you have to pee but your team is mounting a comeback so you have ot just sit on the couch in the same position and hold it. Seven players over 23.90 points this week. Nuts. 
===2. Monty's Python===
Jalen's performance Hurt but not enough to drop them out of the throne room. Aiyuk, Aiyuk, Aiyuk is on fire. D'Andre "Taylor" Swift has got Fantasy managers thinking they're in a love story. C.J. Stroud is a C.J. Croud Pleaser. 
===3. Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack===
There is such an animal magnetism to this team. They rarely finish first but they are constantly lurking towards the top and with all the shit they have pulled in the trade room over the last month, I have to imagine they are actually the best team. Bijan, Alvin, and Rhamondre all had byes this wek and so they had no choice but to finish in third with fucking Devin Singletary and George Nose Pickens. 
===4. Müller Lite===
Money Bags Lite was lite on breakout games, but got okay or better days from everyone besides Tyler Avoid. The big ticket was a duo of fantasy ballers in Kyler Murray and Justin Herbert, two guys who didn't lead their teams to wins but looked fucking great losing. This team could have reached even greater heights if they had not benched James Cook and Rachaad White (over 20 points each). 
==On the Chopping Block==
===7. Obi-Wan Mahomie===
Patrick Mahomes willed his way to 30 points for his homie in a week where not much was going right aside from the usual Mike Evans getting enough yards to keep his 1,000 yard season pace alive and CMC toying with defenses as usual. Josh Jacobs and Stefon Diggs did not give Obi his money's worth this week, but surviving on off weeks from superstars always feels good. 
===6. Headless Horsemen===
A pair of Ds saved this head from being prematurely ejaculated from the league this week, as DJ and DK gave new meaning to DMs (that's their initials) and double-teamed this team to completion. 
===4. Henry VIII===
This bitch has been down in this section all but I think one week this year, but they are still kicking. 
==Average Scores of Eliminated Teams==
Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Played
Extra Tight Ends 	199.70 	9
Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	182.98 	11
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	181.30 	5
What Hurts Moore? 	177.12 	8
RIP Diggs my RIP for sure-oh	175.55 	10
DeCaPitated 	172.53 	7
The Guilloteam 	169.07 	6
Jethro's Glorious Team 	163.20 	4
Out of Luck 	160.68 	2
Bobecue Chicken 	140.44 	3
Hasta Laviska Baby 	97.49 	1
RIP.
==Narrow Defeats==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
Hasta Laviska Baby 	1.21 	1
Jethro's Glorious Team 	4.13 	4
The Guilloteam 	10.69 	6
What Hurts Moore? 	12.08 	8
Out of Luck 	14.67 	2
Extra Tight Ends 	15.02 	9
Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	18.85 	11
Bobecue Chicken 	21.19 	3
RIP Diggs my RIP for sure-oh	33.01 	10
deCaPitated 	45.13 	7
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	50.59 	5
==Unique Players Started==
How many unique players (Defense included) were started by each team. The table can be sorted by players and also by week eliminated.
Unique Players Started
Team 	Players Started	Week Eliminated
RIP Diggs my RIP for sure-oh	27 	10
Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	26 	11
The Guilloteam 	25 	6
What Hurts Moore? 	21 	8
deCaPitated 	21 	7
Extra Tight Ends 	18 	9
Bobecue Chicken 	16 	3
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	15 	5
Jethro's Glorious Team 	12 	4
Out of Luck 	11 	2
Hasta Laviska Baby 	9 	1
==Rulers of the Kingdom==
2023 first place finishers:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Monty's Python 	228.65
2 	Extra Tight Ends 	227.45
3 	Headless Horsemen 	266.15
4 	Monty's Python (2) 	260.79
5 	Extra Tight Ends (2) 	264.57
6 	Müller Lite 	208.67
7 	Extra Tight Ends (3) 	250.96
8 	Bad Boys II 	286.71
9 	Monty's Python (3) 	267.95
10 	Jeff Probst' Tribe 	259.66
11 	Jeff Probst' Tribe (2)	240.36
Stay hot, Kiwi. 
==Dungeon Dwellers==
2023 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:
Low Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Extra Tight Ends 	98.70
2 	Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	150.50
3 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack 	124.83
4 	deCaPitated 	130.88
5 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh 	138.70
6 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh (2)	153.44
7 	Monty's Python 	154.43
8 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh (3)	170.50
9 	Billy Jeans Ride or Die (2) 	138.06
10 	Henry VIII 	196.62
11 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	165.44
wild difference from last week. 
==Single Season Scoring Records==
As teams get eliminated, their single season performance will appear here. Bolded lines indicate performances from the current season.
Billy Jean is the first team to break 2,000 points and get eliminated in 2023. He finishes JUST shy of his total from last season. 
All-Time Single Season HH Point Records
Score 	Player 	Year
3,697.30	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2022
3,581.72	Beach McBungalow (Tee Diggs my Chubb)	2022
3428.76 	CP 	2019
3402.18 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2019
3363.88 	CP (deCaPitated) 	2022
3121.28 	Return of the Mac 	2021
3049.02 	Bobecue Chicken 	2021
3015.53 	Mixon Beer 	2020
3013.13 	Müller Lite 	2021
2997.67 	The Guilloteam 	2019
2980.07 	Last Coach Standing 	2020
2833.37 	Out of Luck 	2022
2743.25 	@FFDraftScott 	2020
2733.07 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2020
2709.59 	Mac 	2019
2677.20 	Out of Luck 	2021
2675.14 	Wildcat (no QBs no problem) 	2022
2620.18 	The Titanic 	2021
2614.60 	burrow for sure-oh 	2022
2438.96 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack 	2022
2422.98 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	2019
2377.31 	The Guilloteam 	2020
2285.51 	CP 	2020
2282.91 	Out of Luck 	2020
2262.36 	Bad Boys 	2021
2233.57 	Soul Survivor (burrow for sure-oh) 	2021
2134.22 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	2021
2046.35 	LIVEWithIt 	2019
2034.86 	Laser Rocket Arms 	2022
2012.82 	Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	2023
1941.63 	Bobecue Chicken 	2019
1939.02 	Beach McBungalow 	2021
1936.45 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2021
1862.19 	Henry VIII 	2022
1817.79 	Carole Pigskin 	2020
1797.24 	Extra Tight Ends 	2023
1755.51 	RIP Diggs my RIP for sure-oh 	2023
1749.51 	The Guilloteam 	2021
1736.99 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2019
1611.76 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2020
1512.91 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2020
1509.41 	CP 	2021
1483.70 	Last Coach Standing 	2021
1473.18 	Henry VIII 	2021
1439.40 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2020
1416.99 	What Hurts Moore? 	2023
1357.00 	Henry VIII 	2019
1351.99 	Muller Lite 	2022
1300.35 	The Guilloteam 	2022
1238.56 	Bluedevils 	2019
1207.69 	deCaPitated 	2023
1182.09 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	2021
1160.81 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2021
1132.61 	Henry VIII 	2020
1116.98 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2020
1055.63 	Mac 	2020
1049.89 	LIVEWithIt 	2020
1014.40 	The Guilloteam 	2023
991.57 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2021
975.59 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2019
906.48 	Al Snows Fav Squad 	2023
806.27 	Mixon It Up With Mahomie 	2022
768.10 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2021
717.82 	Out of Luck 	2019
713.12 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	2020
708.44 	The Executioner 	2022
652.79 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	2023
544.55 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2021
489.42 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2022
481.22 	@FFDraftScott 	2019
459.96 	Bobecue Chicken 	2020
421.33 	Bobecue Chicken 	2023
324.28 	Bobecue Chicken 	2022
321.35 	Out of Luck 	2023
294.62 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2021
286.36 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2019
262.69 	Bad Boys 	2020
123.21 	CoachKnows 	2022
115.16 	Mixon Beer 	2019
97.49 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2023
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2020
==All-Time Combined Points Scored==
Same as above: eliminated teams will have their 2023 season added to the total. Bolded lines indicate that the record has been updated through 2023.
Matt Jinx. I thought for sure Billy Jean would muster enough to break 10K but they fall just short. 
All-Time Combined Points Records
Score 	Player 	Years Played	Per Season Avg.
11,795.25	deCaPitated 	5 	2,359.05
10,382.49	Tee Diggs my Chubb 	5 	2,076.50
9892.33 	Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	5 	1,978.47
9439.24 	The Guilloteam 	5 	1,887.85
8832.65 	Out of Luck 	5 	1766.53
8075.70 	Al Snows Fav Squad 	5 	1,615.14
7873.83 	Extra Tight Ends 	5 	1,574.77
7594.94 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	4 	
7201.35 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	5 	1440.27
6987.92 	Monty's Python 	4 	
6665.96 	burrow for sure-oh (defunct) 	3 	2221.98
6439.42 	Bad Boys 	4 	
6196.22 	Bobecue Chicken 	5 	1,239.24
6,003.97 	What Hurts Moore? 	4 	1,500.99
5824.98 	Henry VIII 	4 	
5186.35 	Neck-Fix and Chill (defunct) 	3 	1728.78
4365.12 	Müller Lite 	2 	
3711.72 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	4 	927.93
1885.08 	Shotti's Bugatti (defunct) 	2 	942.54
1238.56 	Bluedevils (defunct) 	1 	1238.56
698.91 	Phillip's Team (defunct) 	1 	698.91
391.19 	Steve Blackman's Nun (defunct)	2 	195.60
==Remaining Budget==
Remaining Budget as of 11/21/23
Player 	Total Budget
Müller Lite 	$419
Henry VIII 	$334
Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack	$174
Monty's Python 	$161
Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$160
Jeff Probst' Tribe 	$71
Headless Horsemen 	$40
Billy Jeans Ride or Die 	0
RIP Diggs my RIP for sure-oh	0
Extra Tight Ends 	0
What Hurts Moore? 	0
deCaPitated 	0
The Guilloteam 	0
Al Snows Fav Squad 	0
Jethro's Glorious Team 	0
Bobecue Chicken 	0
Out of Luck 	0
Hasta Laviska Baby 	0
==Conclusion==
Apologies for any spelling errors or other mistakes. Not doing a 2nd draft of this baby today. First week back at work and daddy's tired.