Vulture Shock

The twenty-first and penultimate chapter of Total Drama: Superstar Showdown, posted on June 26, 2016. The final three race to the big city, where the last person to arrive will automatically be eliminated. Flora gets help from Smoothie Guy, while Wolfgang reunites with his new lady friend Helga and Chelsey is stuck at a strange fishing retreat.
==Story==
“Last time on Total Drama: Superstar Showdown!” begins Roz, who’s standing in the middle of a massive stadium in Revolution City. “Our final four contestants competed in a trivia challenge, and things got serious when Trey went off the deep end and started yelling at… well, basically everyone. Wolfgang destroyed the challenge with his quiz bowl skills, and after Trey was revealed to be targeting Flora, the others teamed up and made him go bye-bye! I feel bad for Trey, but at the same time, I really just… don’t. Bad dude. Anyway, Chef and I took an early morning flight to Revolution City, and we’re LIVE, getting ready for the finale!”
“I hate my life,” says Chef, who’s sipping coffee while wearing a bathrobe and bunny slippers.
“And… look, our losers are here too!” Roz moves to the side and motions to the bleachers right behind her, where sure enough, the eliminated contestants are sitting.
The camera pans through the crowd, with Ori, PJ, Alex, Elena, and Trick being generally isolated, Tolkien, Kavren, Gary, Devin, Nic, and Arthur sitting together, Julia sitting on the opposite side of Arthur and with Chrissy, Estrella, Veronica, and MacKenzie, Casey and Puck in the corner, Layla and Charles right near them, and a newly-arrived Trey in the bottom right, looking like he would rather be literally anywhere else.
“Wait… Roz, where’s Helga?” asks Estrella.
“Oh! Yeah! Here’s the fun twist! Each of the final three has been assigned a rep to help them get to the finale, and these reps can help them however they want. Wolfgang has Helga, Chelsey has Casey, and Flora has…” Roz pauses. “Gail.”
Veronica gasps. “Roz, that’s totally unfair! Gail is going to try to kill Flora or something.”
“Naaaah, relax, I told Gail that if she laid a single finger on that girl she’d be put in the slammer,” says Roz. “Everything’s under control.”
“Hey, Case, whatcha doin’ for Chelsey?” says Puck, who is wearing a tight-fitting “Team Chelsey” shirt with the “Chelsey” scratched out with highlighter and replaced with “Wolfie.”
“Oh my god, she’s totally gonna love this,” says Casey. “I opened my very own online Chelsey merchandise company. Go to www.chelseyisagoddess.spreadshirt.com for Chelsey shirts, Chelsey scarves, Chelsey keychains, Chelsey bumper stickers, Chelsey action figures, Chelsey G-strings… All the fixins! All proceeds go to Chelsey’s chances of winning the popularity polls, by the way.”
“Awesome! I’m totally gonna buy me one of those!” says Puck. “Just kidding. I could never support anyone other than Wolfie. I’m bummed that I can’t be there to send him good vibrations, but I’ll do it from the sidelines, of course.”
“So Helga just abandoned us?” says Chrissy. “Great, I hope she’s alive. I can’t deal with those guys too much longer.” She points to Gary, Nic, and Arthur, who are being obnoxious.
Nic pops up behind her, to the tune of Latin music. “Oh, Chrissy… I know you crave me like a Quesarito craves salsa verde, I can see it in your eyes. But please… let’s take it slowly.” He winks.
“Do you really want to wake up tomorrow morning with no feeling in your limbs?” says Chrissy.
To prevent further commotion, Roz pops up once again. “Okay! Let’s see what the finalists are up to right now, because they’re supposed to be leaving practically this minute!”
----
The final three are shown in the cabin, all asleep. A large rumbling noise is heard, and suddenly a massive wrecking ball blows through the wall and demolishes the cabin, revealing an intern piloting a crane. The three wake up with a jolt.
“What was THAT for?!” yells Chelsey. “I didn’t take my 30-minute shower yet! I didn’t even get my toiletries! I am not presentable!”
“Is the apocalypse finally here?” says Wolfgang, waking up. “Aw, come on, but I’ve been such a good man… Please spare me!”
“Oh wow, that’s a big ball,” gasps Flora.
“Relax,” says the intern, a pudgy, bespectacled man. “Th’ others already grabbed your stuff and put ‘em into suitcases. They should be outside. We’re just doin’ a little bit of spring cleaning, y’know? Anyway, chop chop, time to go.”
“Okay, listen. I need a promise that we’ll get our belongings back. I have almost a thousand bucks’ worth of makeup in my toiletry bag, got it?” says Chelsey.
“Uhh…” says the intern. “Yeah, you should be fine. Whatever, just go, aight?” He then leaves.
The three reluctantly walk up to the dock and onto the conveniently parked boat, which quickly lets them on and sets off to take them to the mainland.
“Well,” says Wolfgang, as the boat sails across the lake. “I guess this is goodbye for now, huh, guys? Competing with you hasn’t been completely awful.”
“Aw, Wolfgang, why can’t we all just go to the finale together?” asks Flora. “You already know we make a great team!”
“Henny, I am NOT going to be sitting in a car with you,” says Chelsey.
“Yeah, uh…” says Wolfgang, obviously feeling bad. “Sorry, Flora, but I think at this point it should be an every-contestant-for-themselves thing. I guess we can divide and conquer, huh?”
Flora hangs her head down. “Oh… Okay, that’s fine too.”
The boat pulls up to the mainland, and Chelsey, Flora, and Wolfgang hop off it and start walking. Immediately something catches Flora’s attention and she runs to it.
“Ooh, a bike!” she says, motioning to a rickety-looking bike with a sign saying “FREE” rested at its wheels. “This’ll be great!”
“Flora, I really worry for your safety on that death trap,” says Wolfgang, examining the bike.
“Shush, Wolfgang! We need to FOCUS here! No more worrying about Flora’s well-being or anything, it’s time to put the pedal to the metal and compete,” says Chelsey.
“Okay, fine,” grumbles Wolfgang. “You know, we have to get out of here somehow. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to call a Püber.” He takes out his phone and dials, waiting on the line and pacing back and forth.
As soon as he walks slightly farther away, a bus pulls up. Chelsey utters a “Yes!” and gets on the bus, and it leaves in a jiffy.
“Aw, come on!” Wolfgang yells.
Wolfgang says in the confessional, “All right, well, I guess it’s down to the wire, huh? A part of my soul honestly died when I had to reject Flora and tell her I was going on my own. I mean, she’s one of the rare people I respect in this world, and she’s just like an innocent, slobbering little puppy… well, maybe without the slobber. I hope she beats Chelsey, honestly.”
Chelsey is shown at the front of the bus, nervously gazing at the passengers, who mostly seem to be elderly and asleep. She trudges to the very back of the bus, where she takes a window seat.
“Thank god,” she whispers to herself. “At least I can get some sun.”
“Attention, all passengers! We will be stopping in many different destinations on this fine morning, including--” says an intercom voice, before being drowned out as Chelsey puts her earbuds in and turns on extremely loud pop music from her phone.
Chelsey says in the confessional, “What? There’s, like, NO service up at the campground. I needed to download the twelve new Queen Bey singles I missed. Oh man, I have so much catching up to do…”
“I’m… tired,” she says weakly to herself, stretching her arms out. Despite the continued presence of the extremely loud music, Chelsey eventually finds herself falling asleep.
----
Flora is shown, continuing to bike through a generally isolated road and whistling to herself.
She says in the confessional, “Wow, this is really peaceful! It’s great to have such a clear, fresh state of mind. Now I’m just focusing on how to win this game, and honestly, I want Chelsey to get to the end with me because she’ll be easy to beat in a vote. I mean, nobody likes her… right? Wait, is there going to be a vote? Oh no, is it a challenge? I hope it’s not dangerous.”
As Flora continues to bike, there’s a small popping noise, and her tire then completely deflates, causing the bike to grind to a halt. Flora is hurled off the bike and into a nearby bush.
“Ow…” she says, getting out. “That was scary. And painful. Hey, what’s that?”
Flora looks a few steps ahead of her, where what looks like a small rest stop is located. “Awesome! I bet I can get my bike fixed there!”
She rushes into the rest stop and into the main lobby, where someone with long, flowing blonde hair is sitting at a desk.
Flora says in the confessional, “Oh no… I totally thought it was going to be Gail. But honestly, I think it’s worse than Gail.”
The figure rapidly turns around. “GRA-BLAGHY!” he yells, revealing himself to be none other than Smoothie Guy. “Aw, great, YOU again?”
“Oh, hello!” says Flora. “Do you have any spare tires? I’m supposed to be getting to the finale in Revolution City, but my bike broke.”
“Do you really think I sell spare tires?” asks Smoothie Guy.
“I mean, it was worth a try?” asks Flora. “Please?”
“Look, Flora. You’re probably the only contestant I don’t outright despise, but I JUST got this job, and I’m supposed to be working this front desk 24/7. Can’t let the boss see that I’ve been slacking on the job. So no, I do not have any spare tires! Begone!” yells Smoothie Guy.
“Oh…” says a disappointed Flora. “Okay, well, I guess I’ll be on my way then.”
“WAIT!” yells Smoothie Guy, just as Flora is skipping out the door. “Don’t tell anyone, but once the S.S. Crappyboatthatbreakseasily blasted into smithereens after that… shark incident, I kept some of the fragments and built new stuff out of them. I got a new ship after that, it’s called the Sloop Smoothie G. It’s my pride and joy, pretty much. But anyway, that old crap should be in the shed in the back of this rest stop. Don’t break it, or I promise you that you will not live.”
“Thank you, Smoothie Guy!” says Flora sweetly, and she leaves. A single tear wells up in the salesman’s eye, and he quickly brushes it off.
Flora rushes to the back of the building and opens the door to the tool shed. Inside is what looks like a moped, built completely out of old boat parts but somehow with functioning wheels and an engine.
“Oh my gosh!” she squeaks.
----
Wolfgang is shown in the exact same spot that Chelsey left him in, still waiting for his Püber.
“Ugh, this better get here soon,” he mutters to himself. “I’ve been waiting here for a good two hours. Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re both already there and I’m a dead man walking.”
An engine noise slowly becomes louder, and a black car pulls up to Wolfgang. The driver’s door opens, and the bespectacled German blonde stares face-to-face with him.
“GA-HOOEY!” yells Wolfgang, keeling over from shock.
“Wow, nice to see you too,” says Helga.
Wolfgang is shown in the confessional. “Wha?! How and why did she get here?! What do I even do at this point, do I tell her that I’ve spent every waking moment thinking about her, or do I just play it cool and completely ignore her? Or kiss her again? God, I wish I knew how to romance!”
“You-- you--” stutters Wolfgang, picking himself back up. “You’re driving the Püber?! Man, I am just so glad to see you again!”
Helga smiles a little bit. “I sure am. Now get in, we’ve got places to go, people to see. I guess.”
The camera flashes to Wolfgang sitting in the passenger seat semi-awkwardly next to Helga, who’s driving on the freeway.
“Wow, I’ve never seen someone drive that smoothly,” Wolfgang gushes. “It’s like you’re one of the thieves in my Grand Heist Locomotive game!”
“I’ve never received a compliment that wonderful,” says Helga, still with no emotion in her voice. After an awkward pause, she continues, “Hey, you know what? I’m proud of you. You’re still in the game. That’s… nice.”
“Aw yeah, isn’t it great? I am SO glad I’m still in this thing! I thought I was gonna get voted out first or something,” says Wolfgang.
“I wish I got out first. Having to spend weeks locked up with advanced minds like Kavren is a torture nobody should have to go through,” says Helga.
Wolfgang laughs extremely loudly and obnoxiously at her quip. “Ha! That was classic!”
Wolfgang says in the confessional, “Y’know, maybe I should just play it cool. Suave. Like a classy gent at a steamy ‘50s nightclub. She’ll love that… right?”
“So, I take it you saw what I said at the losers’ resort?” says Helga, continuing to drive.
“Heh, yeah,” Wolfgang says, starting to blush. “That was… nice.” There is another long pause. “You know, nobody has ever said anything like that about me. Not even my mom.”
“I would hope your mom wouldn’t confess deeply romantic love to you on national television,” says Helga with an eyebrow raised.
Helga is shown in the confessional. “You know, I don’t know what I expected him to be like upon reuniting with me, but it definitely wasn’t this. But hey, I don’t actually mind it. It’s refreshing to see that he’s built up so much of an idealization of me in his head that he’s having trouble actually carrying it out and talking to me… and it’s also kind of flattering.”
“Funny,” chuckles Wolfgang. “Also, I liked that kiss. I mean, it was pretty good.”
“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?” says Helga, starting to faintly smile.
“Wanna… do it again?” asks Wolfgang. “I mean, not now obviously, since you’re driving and that’d probably kill us, but…”
“You know what, Wolfgang?” says Helga. “I do. It’d probably be pretty decent.” Wolfgang smiles widely at her.
----
“D’AWWWW!” yells Puck, back at the stadium in Revolution City where the episode is being broadcasted live on a large television. “I’m about to shed some tears!”
“Yeah, it sure would be nice to have a stable relationship right about now,” mutters Tolkien, who has dyed the tips of his hair pink.
“Dude, what’s with the hair?” asks Trick.
“Fashion statement,” says Tolkien. “You know, I wanted to look a little more unique. The shaggy brown hair look is fine and all, but I gotta stand out.”
“Well, I don’t want to say I enjoy it because I don’t,” says Trick. “But it’s not all that awful. I still don’t want it pressing up against my face when I’m sleeping.”
“Aw, can it, Trick. You know you would be slobbering like a thirsty Golden Retriever if Cammy had the exact same hairdo,” says Estrella.
“How does that have anything to do with anything?!” says Trick. “Cammy and I are dating. In a relationship.” Tolkien furrows his brow.
“Don’t worry. You’ll have so many relationships in this life, but only one or two will last,” says Estrella while smiling mysteriously.
“And that is why I’m SO glad that Charles’ and my relationship is so healthy and stable!” interjects Layla, who is getting her back massaged by Charles. “Ooh, over there. It’s really tight there. AAAAAH. Yes. That’s the stuff.”
“Layla, do not forget that after five minutes, we must switch,” says Charles. “I am old, and therefore I get even more sore.”
Roz then pops in front of the camera, at the base of the stadium with Chef. “Ooookay, let’s see how Chelsey’s doing!”
----
Chelsey is shown, still on the same bus and still asleep. After stirring a bit, she awakens with a jolt to see that she’s the only passenger left on the bus.
“...Oh no,” she says. “Oh no oh no oh no. This is NOT good.” She rushes up to the bus driver, a disgruntled-looking man in his early 20s who may or may not be one of the interns. “Hey, uh, where do I get off for Revolution City?”
“Rev City? Heh, we passed that stop two hours ago,” the driver says. “Luckily for ya, we’re pullin’ up to the last stop right now!”
Chelsey looks out the window, and sees nothing but a large, forested area with a swamp in the middle. The bus drops her off in a clearing, and she gets off.
“Where am I? Ew, it’s so muddy here, I don’t want to get my nails all gross,” she worries to herself. “Today has been soooo trash so far, there’s just no way it can get worse.”
There’s a rustling in the bushes, and a strange-looking man pops out. He is portly, has a large, bushy gray mustache, and is wearing a fisherman’s outfit with a hat and a vest with many hooks on it.
“Hello! You must be the new student! Beginners’ fishing class starts in five minutes, so get yer hiney over to the lake and we’ll get started!” he says.
Chelsey looks at him with an expression of sheer horror. “Chappy? Is… Is that you? Wow, you really put on some pounds. Don’t you realize you’re on TV?”
“Chappy? Do you mean Dave Chapman? Oh, he’s my colleague!” says the man. He steps aside to reveal a large sign that reads “Big Johnson’s Private Lake.”
“You’re…” Chelsey winces. “Big Johnson?”
“I sure am! Chappy gave me the nickname in college,” says Big Johnson. “I called him Chappy Chapstick in return. It didn’t stick.”
“Wow, speaking of that, do you have any chapstick? My lips are as parched as the freaking desert,” complains Chelsey.
“Chapstick! Wow, what a perfect idea! That’ll be your reward if you catch a fish!” says Big Johnson happily. Chelsey groans loudly.
Chelsey and Big Johnson are then shown in the middle of the lake, in a tiny boat.
“Now, you’re a talkative girl, huh? Don’t wanna talk too much, it’ll disturb the fishies,” says Big Johnson quietly.
“Bro. You don’t understand. I’m in a COMPETITION,” says Chelsey. “I need to leave this hellhole so I can win.”
“A competition, you say? Well, lucky for you, this is a compe-FISH-ion! Haw haw haw!” cackles Big Johnson, placing a large hand on Chelsey’s shoulder.
Chelsey silently stares out into space, horrified.
----
Meanwhile, Flora is riding her new and improved bike, fashioned by Smoothie Guy on the highway.
“Wow, this is so exhilarating!” she says to the camera while riding. “I’m not entirely sure where I am compared to the finish, but I bet I’ll get there soon!”
The sky above her darkens, and a huge shadow covers the area. Flora looks up and gasps a little. “Oh no, what’s that?!”
A massive vulture swoops down from the sky and onto the ground right in front of Flora. She grinds the bike to a halt, and notices a bandana around its neck with one letter - “G.”
Gail is then shown in the confessional, cackling loudly. “I KNEW that my vulture would serve me well! I got him from a shady animal shelter in Maine, and he’s just soooo vicious! And cute, too! I must make sure that FLORA! DOES! NOT! WIN!”
“O… okay…” says Flora, slowly backing away from the vulture. “You seem nice?”
The vulture squawks loudly, and Flora squeals.
Elsewhere, not too far from Flora or the stadium, Wolfgang and Helga are continuing to drive and chat.
“Hey, how do y’ think Flora’s doing?” asks Wolfgang. “Uh, not that I’m too concerned about her.”
“Okay, I know there’s no way you two are romantically inclined, because…” says Helga. “Come on. But Flora? Is there something I’m missing? Is she anything more than a living piece of cardboard?”
“She is! Y’know, she’s… slightly slow, and sometimes her cheery demeanor really makes me want to punch a tree or something. But honestly, she’s got a heart of gold, man,” says Wolfgang.
“That’s slightly reassuring,” says Helga. “I’m not really one for compliments, but looks like you two have that in common. I mean.” Her face gets extremely red. “Uh, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“That in common? Wha?” asks Wolfgang.
“You know…” says Helga. “Heart of gold… Eh, whatever, it’s not worth it.” Wolfgang smiles at her.
Helga says in the confessional, “I honestly think I might have stepped into a wormhole that transported me into the world of ‘The Advantages Of Being A Floorplant.’ But you know, it’s kind of… nice?”
As the two continue driving, Helga notices a massive black blur in the middle of the road, with a bike right next to it. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s THAT?!” She swerves to avoid it, and stops the car.
Sure enough, Wolfgang and Helga hop out of the car to see Flora still staring awkwardly at the enraged-looking vulture.
“That is…” says Wolfgang. “AWESOME!” He rushes over to the vulture. “Hey, little guy. What’s your na--” Before he can continue, the vulture shrieks loudly in his ear.
“Okay, I’m sorry, he had that one coming,” says Helga.
“Helga? Y-y-you came to rescue me?” asks a desperate Flora.
“Yep, that’s me, rescuer extraordinaire,” says Helga. “But you know, we might as well try to get you out of here before a limb is lost. Or worse.”
The two glance over at Wolfgang, who is sitting right next to the now-calm vulture on the ground and petting it while grinning.
Wolfgang says in the confessional, “I don’t really like animals, but that thing is awesome! Its pink, fleshy head, raggedy black clothing, and fascination with dead things are all totally my style!”
Flora says in the confessional, “Wow, I didn’t know Wolfgang loved animals so much. Take that, Gail!”
----
The losers are watching the scene play out on the massive TV. Puck is attempting to get the attention of Casey, who seems to be texting.
“Hey, Case, this stuff is so juicy, you should check it out!” says Puck, nudging her shoulder.
Casey finally tears her face away from her phone, and looks at the TV screen for a split second, just enough to see a brown-haired person right next to the vulture.
“WHAT?! Chelsey’s in trouble? What is that gross ugly thing? Don’t worry, I’m COMING!!!” yells Casey, pulling something gigantic out of her backpack. “The Chelsey-Brand Rocket Launcher™, exclusively available on http://www.chelseyisagoddess.spreadshirt.com/, is about to be tested out for the first time!” She sprints away.
“...” says PJ.
“I’m worried,” says Gary.
“Honestly, I hope she aims for Chelsey’s face instead of the vulture,” says Trey, finally speaking for the first time since his elimination.
“Oh, alack, Trey’s vocal cords were not removed after his scream-a-palooza,” says Arthur. “A pity, really.” Nic nods his head in agreement.
Julia rolls her eyes. “You know, you really have a lotta nerve talking about whose vocal cords should be removed.”
----
Wolfgang is continuing to pet the vulture, though it seems to be getting slightly impatient. “Uh, guys, I’m not sure if I can keep it calm much longer,” he says, growing scared.
“Okay, let’s take shifts! H-h-Helga can do it next!” says Flora, pushing Helga towards the vulture.
“Wait, what? No thanks,” says Helga while being pushed.
Flora suddenly drops Helga, and a literal light bulb goes off over her head. “Wait,” she says. “I have to do this. Gail brought this bird guy for me to fight, so I’m gonna do it.”
“Flora, have you ever fought anything in your life other than the common cold?” asks Helga.
“Yeah, Flora, I’m kinda worried,” says Wolfgang. “But hey. You’re a trooper. Probably more of one than me. You got this!”
Flora steps up to the vulture, her eyes narrow. She begins to stutter, “Look, buddy! Quit bothering my friends!”
The vulture stares at her, completely expressionless.
“Come on! I mean it!” says Flora. After a pause, with the vulture continuing to not budge, Flora sighs. “It’s no use. It’s too scary for me.”
The sound of a motorcycle revving up in the distance begins to move closer and closer, and within seconds, Casey appears in her pink motorcycle, wielding none other than the Chelsey-Brand Rocket Launcher™.
“I’m here to SAVE YOU, Chelsey!” she yells.
With a boom, she releases the rocket launcher at the vulture, and it causes it to squawk extremely loudly and hurtle into the air, to the shock of everyone else around her.
----
“Now, Chelsey, you know that catching mosquito bites doesn’t count as fish, right? Haw haw haw!” says Big Johnson, still at the lake with Chelsey, who looks like she’s in genuine agony.
“Okay, Big Johnson, look,” says Chelsey. “I wield a large amount of power on the web. I can promote your dumb lake on MyCircle and get you tons of new campers, but right now, this is NOT what I nee--”
Before Chelsey can finish, a speck appears in the sky and gradually moves closer. Chelsey and Big Johnson gasp as the massive vulture comes plummeting down from the air and lands directly in the middle of the boat, sending both Chelsey and Big Johnson flying into the sky in different directions.
----
“This is laaaame,” says Roz at the stadium, waiting for the contestants to show up. “Where’s the passion? The drama? The entertainment? And that poor vulture, it just wanted some buddies!”
“Ayo, Roz,” says Devin. “Listen. What be dat yelling?”
“Yelling? I hear nothing,” says Roz. “Hmm, maybe I’m gettin’ old. Chef, mark ‘earwax cleaners’ on that grocery shopping list for the interns, alrighty?”
The yelling becomes louder, and Chelsey falls straight from the sky right down in front of Roz.
“Ow…” she says, rubbing her head. “I need a shower…”
“Congratulations, Chelsey!” squeals Roz. “You’ve won a spot in the final two!”
“Wait, WHAT?!” squeals Chelsey.
Chelsey says in the confessional, “Oh my god I knew Big Johnson wasn’t entirely awful! I cannot wait to be the underdog heroine and absolutely destroy Flora in the finals and get the most favorable edit of all time! My PP will literally be off the charts!”
Wolfgang and Helga are continuing to drive the stadium, getting close. Flora is now in the back seat. “Wow, guys, that was the most fun I’ve ever had!” she says.
“Fun? I mean, whatever floats your boat,” says Helga.
“Heck yeah, it was fun! Helga, come on, I just know you were having a good time!” says Wolfgang.
Wolfgang says in the confessional, “Okay, fine. Maybe I was getting a little… excited. But the thing is, I seriously love hanging out with Helga, and even Flora. They’re so cool! Helga is basically a warrior goddess from Planet of Battlecraft come to life, and Flora is just the most ridiculously nice person of all.” He pauses, and looks in the mirror at himself. “God, what am I becoming? I need a nap.”
“Uh, guys…” says Helga while driving into the parking lot in front of the stadium. “I hate to burst your bubble, but Chelsey is already there.”
“WHAT?!” yells Wolfgang. Flora says nothing, her mouth gaping wide.
Flora says in the confessional, “This is the worst possible thing that could happen. I really want to beat Chelsey in the finale because she’s been so mean to me, and I gotta prove to her that being nice really gets you far in this world, but I know I’ll be so sad if Wolfgang leaves because he’s one of the only true friends I’ve made…”
“Ugh. So I guess it’s down to you and me? Wanna just do a foot race and call it good?” asks Wolfgang.
“You know, I’m gonna leave this to you guys,” says Helga, as she pulls out a book titled The Thrower In The Pumpernickel and walks into the stadium.
“Listen,” says Flora. “I want you to go into that stadium and win.”
“Wha?!” yells Wolfgang. “But you’ve come so far at this point! You gotta overthrow Chelsey… wait, I hope she didn’t hear that.”
“Wolfgang, I came into this show to prove to myself that I really wasn’t a boring person and that I could make great friends if I tried,” says Flora, smiling. “I’m winning those fan polls, I won a ton of challenges, I got to the final three, and I’ve made some of the best friends ever! And you’re easily one of them. I’ve completed my journey, so now it’s time for you to do the same to yours.”
Wolfgang sits there, with an unclear expression on his face, and finally talks. “Welp, I guess… Dang, Flora, I’m at a loss for words. Y’know, you’re really not that bad. C’mon though, is this really what you want to do?”
“Of course it is!” says Flora. “I want to repay you for helping me out. I never would’ve realized how icky Trey actually is without your help. Maybe we can go out to get ice cream once the season ends.”
“You mean in a completely platonic way? I’d be down for that,” says Wolfgang. “Okay, well, I guess I better rush in there, huh?”
Flora nods at Wolfgang, and the two walk into the stadium together. Flora pauses at the door, and Wolfgang begins to run up to Chelsey.
“What the crap is he doing?” asks Ori from the audience.
“I… I don’t know, but I’m about to shed some ice cubes from my ol’ eyes…” says Puck, who is visibly teary. Casey looks at him and pats him on the back while staring at Chelsey lovingly.
Wolfgang runs up to Chelsey. “CONGRATS TO WOLFGANG! The second and final member of our final two!” yells Roz.
“Wow, I’m impressed!” says Chelsey. “May the best player win in this finale, I guess. And obviously that’s gonna be me, but don’t worry, Wolfie, 2nd place is absolutely nothing to scoff at.”
“Heh. We’ll see. You’re gonna get creamed more than a… pie-in-the-face,” retorts Wolfgang.
As the two continue to banter, Flora walks up to Roz. “Awwww,” says Roz, and the audience members join in. “Flora, I gotta say, you were preeetty awesome this season. But I also gotta say, sadly, that your time is over and you’re the final contestant eliminated from this game.”
“It’s okay,” says Flora happily. “I had a lot of fun!”
Flora walks up into the audience stands and sits down right next to Veronica, who congratulates her. “Oh my gosh girl, I am soooo proud of you! Who’s laughing at the Chicks Against Boringness now?”
“Speak for yourself,” grumbles MacKenzie.
“Well, well, that was a very explosive episode, and next episode is about to pump it up by like a thousand! We’ve got some tricks ‘n’ treats lined up for the finale, and plenty of old faces. So make sure to tune in to see who gets the two million dollar prize, on Total… Drama… Superstar Showdown!” says Roz, closing out the episode.