The Thing About Blondes...

The Thing About Blondes... is written by Niki Paradis and began online publication in ????. It currently stands incomplete at four chapters, the most recent of which was published in ????.
==Description==
==Plot==
===Chapter 1: To Dye For...===
Ryoga Hibiki is on his way home from a fruitless session of job hunting, money being needed to save up for his wedding to Ukyou Kuonji. On the way he is stopped by a young woman who asks if he would like to participate in a research and development project for her company, which would pay very well. Ryoga signs up on the spot and heads home, knowing he will begin the project the next day. Meanwhile Ukyou is at work and waiting for Ryoga to turn up, but Ryoga's sister Jiro tells her not to worry too much. At this point Ryoga arrives and tells them that despite missing all his job appointments, he has the money problem solved and shows the girls the information sheet for the project he has signed up to. The project, changing the hair colour of Japanese people, is being run by a hair care product company and Ukyou tells him she will be angry if he comes back bald. The next morning as Jiro leads Ryoga to his appointment, a meeting of the company is taking place and one of the people present is Nabiki Tendo. It turns out she has been given future information which suggested bank rolling this company and its project. While Ryoga is prepared for the first experiment Jiro spots Nabiki and the two have a discussion about keeping Ryoga's Jusenkyo curse under wraps. Ryoga gets a trim and his hair washed and Nabiki sends another stylist to offer the same to Jiro. Jiro eventually accepts, but doesn't trust Nabiki and tells the stylist is he does anything other than the trim she'll become violent. As Ryoga falls asleep while being prepped, Nabiki asks the members of the company about how their product works. Later Ryoga wakes up to find that his hair is being dried and he is immediately thankful that he hasn't ended up bald. Jiro hears Ryoga complaining loudly and goes to see her brother, who is now blonde. As a result of the successful change in hair colour, Nabiki decides that she will invest in the company. She is keen to make a name for herself in business and not rely on the Kuno family name given that she is to marry Tatewaki Kuno. Jiro leads her brother home and tells him not to worry too much about his new hair colour. She is proven right as after Ryoga finally show Ukyou the new colour, the chef declare it to be pretty and she is thankful he is not bald. Ryoga is happy with this reaction and states that there are indeed some things worth dyeing for.
===Chapter 2: The Hunt for the Perfect Man===
A princess by the name of Celeane has arrived in Nerima and is on the hunt for a husband, but id doing so incognito so as to attract the "right" kind of man. Meanwhile Ryoga wakes up and goes to the bathroom. On seeing a blonde stranger he attacks, only to find he has punched the bathroom mirror. Uykou takes him downstairs to tend to his wound and finds out how Ryoga is dealing with the change while Jiro cleans up the mess. Elsewhere Ranma Saotome is hiding from his wife and the breakfast she has made. He heads to "Ucchan's" to scam a free breakfast from Ukyou and mets Jiro along the way as she heads for school. He arrives at the restaurant and, on seeing Ryoga's new look, interrogates the lost boy as to its cause. Akane turns up looking for her husband and after a brief scuffle, drags him home to have breakfast. Later on the way home from school Jiro and her two best friends talk about the new exchange student at school by the name of Celeane. That evening Ranma and Akane return to "Ucchan's" for a meal and Ranma tries to tell himself he is not jealous after watching all the female patrons flirting with Ryoga as he works at the grill. Ryoga himself is embarrassed by the attention and accidentally knocks some water onto himself. This reveals that his cursed form is now bolnde too, which the girls think is cute. Annoyed with all this Ryoga makes Ranma lead him to the pharmacy so he can get some hair dye, but after trying it they find that regular dyes don't work on Ryoga's new locks. A week later and Ukyou ponders the situation. Ryoga's new look has brought in more female customers, but her fiancé isn't handling the attention very well. Elsewhere Ryoga is being led home by Jiro after a session with the hair care company to see how their dye job is going, only for the pair to be observed by Misha, one of Celeane's minions. A couple of days later Ranma and Ryoga have a spar and Ranma asks if Ryoga has noticed if blondes have more fun. Celeane meanwhile is not adjusting to well to the madness of Nerima, but her minion may have found a suitable husband for her. Misha takes her to "Ucchan's" where Celeane is introduced to Ryoga. Later Celeane tells Misha she agrees, Ryoga would make the perfect man and that her plan will go into effect in three days time. Three nights later Ranma, Akane, Ukyou, and Jiro are talking at "Ucchan's" and wondering where Ryoga is after he got lost coming home from the hair care company, when the man in question turns up. The reunion is short-lived when four women suddenly appear to take Ryoga. Initially they are held off via combat so they switch to using a gas. When the team from Nerima awake they find a note stating Ryoga has been taken away to the island of Fumei to become the consort of Princess Celeane.
===Chapter 3: The Reversal of the Usual Roles - Ukyou to the Rescue!===
Ukyou is extremely made at the turn of events, but is convinced not go off without a plan. First they will need a boat to reach Fumei, which means making a deal with the devil. Meanwhile Celeane and Misha talk while watching an unconscious Ryoga as a boat carries them all to Fumei. Ranma and Jiro have gone to talk to Nabiki and she agrees to hiring them a boat as long as certain conditions are met. Ryoga comes to on a big bed, dressed only in a green loincloth. Celeane comes into the room and explains to Ryoga just what is going to happen, with the pair of them being married in three days time. Celeane dismisses his protests that he is already engaged to Ukyou and tells him they will talk again later. He is then taken outside where he spends some time exercising, but also looking for a means of escape. He spots a gap in his prison that his pig-form might be able to sneak through. Akane meanwhile is being sick from the top of the boat that she, Ukyou, Ranma, and Jiro are using to travel to Fumei. Due to the reefs around the island they are forced to wait for high tide later that night before the boat can land at Fumei. A younger man has arrived to help Ryoga with any needs, except for better clothing or escape, and his sister is there to make sure Ryoga is presentable for dinner that evening. As the boat ride the high tide to Fumei, Ukyou interrogates Jiro about what she knows about Celeane from her time at school in Nerima. Once they are on land they talk about how to find and rescue Ryoga and come across Urma, a trainee guard, who is having a quiet cry to herself over how her trainers treat her. Urma agrees to help them enter the castle and retrieve Ryoga.
===Chapter 4: Another Switch in the Roles===
The four rescuers and Urma bluff their way past a guard checkpoint and sneak into the castle to find Ryoga. Elsewhere Ryoga is forced to attend a dinner with Celeane and the other members of the royal court, disliking every moment of it and hoping that Jiro is coming to rescue him. Ranma and Akane find Ryoga's clothes and pack and collect them for him, taking them with them as they continue their search. Meanwhile Ukyou, Jiro, and Urma reach a balcony overlooking the reception hall where the dinner is taking place. Celeane is making a speech in which she claims she will marry Ryoga in two days time. Ukyou blows her stack at this, leaping down to land on the banquet table in the middle of the assembled people and shouting how she isn't about to let Celeane marry Ryoga, giving away their presence in the process. As Ukyou and Celeane hurl nasty words at each other, Misha and her other guards come up and capture Ukyou. Ukyou is taken away to the dungeon and Celeane drags Ryoga off with her, declaring the dinner to be over. Jiro pretends to be one of the castle guards and is roped into escorting Ukyou to the dungeon while Ryoga protests to Celeane about her treatment of Ukyou. Akane and Ranma are discovered by the boy and girl who attended to Ryoga and they are happy to tell them Ukyou is in the dungeon as they don't think the wedding should happen. Ryoga and Celeane have a heated verbal fight which end with Ryoga stating he'll not marry her. Celeane storms off, taking Misha with her and leaving Jiro by herself to guard the door. Ranma and Akane, along with the two servants, head for the guest wing in search of Ryoga, narrowly avoiding Celeane and Misha. While Jiro and Ryoga are reunited, Misha tries to suggest to Celeane that taking Ryoga as a husband is more trouble than it is worth, but Celeane dismisses her concerns. Misha departs and Celeane finds herself in the middle of a revolution with her guards wanting to depose her. Ranma, Akane, and the servants meet up with Jiro and Ryoga. Ryoga takes a moment to get dressed, which allows Ranma to ask him where he got the ring her gave Ukyou from. It then turns out that Nabiki's condition for the boat hire was that Ranma quiz Ryoga on the condition of his hair. Elsewhere in the castle Ukyou is in the dungeon pacing and thinking black thoughts about Celeane when the woman in question is thrown in to the dungeon to join her...
==Notes==
==Fan Art==
Image:Blonde2.gif|Fan Art by Niki Paradis
Image:Blonde3.jpg|Fan Art by Glyph Bellchime
Image:Blonde4.gif|Fan art by Niki Paradis
Image:Blonde5.gif|Fan Art by Niki Paradis
Image:Blonde6.gif|Fan Art by Niki Paradis
==See Also==
==External Links==
*The Thing About Blondes... at Otaku Village - Retrieved 03-09-2022
*The Thing About Blondes... at Fanfiction.net - Retrieved 03-09-2022
*The Thing About Blondes... at Mediaminer.org - Retrieved 03-09-2022
==References==
Category:2000
Category:2001
Category:2002