Queen of the Castle/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Queen of the Castle".
== ==
(The episode begins on Peppy, who has fallen asleep while trying to do something. Poppy shakes him gently.)
Poppy: Dad?
Peppy: (Waking up) Huh? What-What’s happening? (The camera zooms out to reveal Poppy and Branch going through his old scrapbooks.)
Poppy: We’re going through your old scrapbooks, remember? We asked you to make a donation to the village library. You said yes.
Peppy: Oh, of course. (chuckles) Well, there are plenty of classics here. (He takes out some books.) For Whom The Bell Tolls, Jayne Hair, The Complete Works of Leo Trollstoy… (He puts a giant book on Poppy.) Volume 1.
Branch: (Finding a blueprint) Whoa! What’s this?
Poppy: Hey, I always wondered what happened to those. They’re the blueprints for that old sandcastle ideas of yours, right?
Peppy: Oh, not just any sandcastle. It was to be my legacy. A life-size, majestic structure. (A vision of his sandcastle appears.)
Branch: Whoa!
Peppy: A testament to the never-quitting Troll spirit. (Branch gasps in wonder. Then the castle vision disappears.) But then I quit.
Branch: Oh.
Peppy: Yes, I couldn’t quite figure out how to pull it off. Dreamed too big, I suppose. Ah, but sometimes I like to close my eyes and imagine what might have been. (He falls asleep again.)
Poppy: Uh… Dad? (Her father does not answer.) Yes! Nice job finding these, Branch. He doesn’t suspect a thing! (As Branch grabs more blueprints, Peppy falls over. At the beach, Branch is drawing a line for the sandcastle. Smidge, Cooper, and Biggie have joined them.) Ah! I can’t wait to see my dad’s face when we surprise him with the finished castle. I have wanted to make his dream come true forever.
Branch: The issue is the sand. Sand could never support a structure this big… until now.
Smidge: Huh?
Poppy: (As she and Branch run to a sandcastle part) See, Branch and I have spent months experimenting with sand-to-water ratios. Not enough water, and the sand won’t hold together. (She blows the top part of the sandcastle part off.)
Branch: Too much gives you a soggy mess. (He pours a bucket of water on the sandcastle part, causing it to fall apart.
Cooper, Biggie, and Smidge: Mm-hm.
Poppy: But just the right amount and anything is possible, like… (She sprays water from a bottle and the sandcastle part becomes sand steel.) … sand steel. (She knocks on the steel sandcastle part.)
Cooper and Biggie: Ooh.
Smidge: Oh, my Guh.
Branch: Or sand glass. (He sprays water to the sandcastle part and pushes it, causing it to shatter.)
Smidge: (As Cooper and Biggie gasp) Oh, my Guh!
Poppy: We can even make sand gelatin. (She sprays the sandcastle part and Branch touches it, causing it to jiggle.) Not that that helps us at all. Point is, with a little motivation music, we’ll have this castle built by lunchtime. (Later, some construction Trolls put sand in a bucket. The last construction Troll pours the sand into a large spider and it spits it onto the building parts, making sand tools. Biggie shoots nails while Guy Diamond shoots the wood onto the sandcastle by doing glitter farts. While Branch is using a saw to cut wood, it breaks on him along with the wood Keith is holding. DJ Suki sprays water onto a nail and hammers it. Branch goes to an alarm and tests it out. After that, Poppy and her friends cheer.) We did it, Trolls! Let’s take a look at… (Her friends frown because they only see the large line in the sand. Only a small part of the sandcastle has been built.) Oh.
Smidge: People, for the last time, someone actually look at what we achieved before we high-five! Oh, my Guh. (She walks away.)
Poppy: This is all we’ve gotten done? It’s only a matter of time before my dad sees what we’re doing. We’ve got to brainstorm solutions, or the surprise will be ruined.
Branch: Well, we could just tell your dad what we’re up to. You know, not to worry about making it a surprise? (Biggie, Cooper, and Smidge gasp.)
Biggie: (Grabbing Branch) Branch, who hurt you?
Poppy: What we need is to speed construction. And for that, got to get critter-powered! (Later, some Cat Critters dig in the sand.) Nothing digs sand faster than a Kitty Critter.
Branch: Yeah, but do you know why they dig in the sand? (The Kitty Critters stop digging.) Whoa!
Poppy: No, no, no! Stop! (She and Branch groan.) OK, we need a different critter. (Smidge users a Flyer Bug to carry a big bucket of water. Branch guides her to the right spot.) See? Flying the water up should save us a bunch of time. (But the Flyer Bug lowers, causing the sand to blown away.)
Poppy and Branch: Wait, Smidge! You’re gonna blow the castle aw- (They get completely covered in sand. A Kitty Critter kicks its foot.) No, no, no!
Biggie: Poppy! Branch! We’re having some issues with the local crustaceans. They’re trying to take out things to their underwater lair.
Cooper: (As the crabs try to steal his hat) Hey! That’s not yours, you weird dog! (More crabs move by with shovels and a plate of cupcakes.)
Branch: Great! Now we got to deal with Finders-Keepers Critters, aka grabby crabs, aka the selfish shellfish. When they work together, there’s not stopping them.
Poppy: (gasps) That’s not a problem, that’s a solution!
Smidge: (shrieking as the crabs carry her) Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh! (Poppy goes to talk to the crabs.)
Poppy: Here’s my proposal. You help us finish building out sandcastle, and in return we give this entire box of stuff. (Smidge brings in a box of construction tools.)
Smidge: (In a purple dress) Ooh! Stuff. (The crabs just stay still.)
Poppy: Hm. Looks like these guys know how to drive a hard bargain. OK, two boxes. (Smidge brings another box of construction tools.)
Smidge: Ooh! More stuff. (The crabs still don’t answer.)
Poppy: Hm. Biggie, ask if they’ll help us.
Biggie: Uh… Why would I know how to talk to them?
Poppy: You talk to Mr. Dinkles.
Biggie: (gasps) Poppy, I speak worm. It’s a romance language. These are not worms.
Smidge: Um… Poppy, allow me.
Poppy: Smidge, you speak crab?
Smidge: Well, I don’t speak it. (She takes out some castanets and snaps to the crabs to talk to them. As she does that, she dances.)
Cooper: Troll-e! (The crabs stay still for a moment and start snapping.)
Smidge: We’ve got a deal.
Poppy: (In a construction hat) We got our team, now let’s get building! (As she and her friends build the sandcastle, she sings We Can Do Anything.)
(Poppy)
Hey, I know it might look bad
No end in sight
Looks like we’re an uphill fight
But hey!
That’s how it goes
And what do we know when times get tough?
Do we hang out heads?
Do we give up? No way!
We can do it
We can all get through it
(All)
We can do it
(Poppy)
By committing now to never quitting
(All)
We don’t give up
Never quit, never stop
Yeah, we might fail
But we give all we got
Because we can do anything (After finishing the sandcastle, Poppy brings her father to it.)
Poppy: Ooh! Get excited, Dad! (We reveal that Peppy is wearing a blindfold.) When I take off this blindfold, you are in for a huge surprise. (When she takes off Peppy’s blindfold, he snores.) Ahem. Dad?
Peppy: (Waking up) How did I…? (gasps) What?! (He sees his castle. Fireworks can be seen shooting from above.) My castle!
Poppy: That’s right! Just like you designed it. Including the sand guard wall… (Cooper is guarding the guard wall.) … the sand fountain… (Smidge sprays water into the fountain and it sprays sand water.) … and even the sand ballroom, complete with sand-elier and baby sand piano.
Peppy: Wow! Oh, Poppy! How did you do all this?
Poppy: Well, Branch and I did a ton of research, and we got help from the Finders-Keepers Critters.
Peppy: Finders-Keepers Critters, of course! I thought of that back in my day, too, but I never figured out how to keep them from betraying me.
Poppy: Uh… What’s betraying who now?
Peppy: The critters. With a sandcastle this magnificent, well, the first chance they get they would- (Cooper is heard screaming. A crab throws him off the guard wall.)
Cooper: Whoa! (Branch watches as Smidge is carried out of the sandcastle by more crabs. Branch screams as the rest of the crabs carry him and Biggie out of the sandcastle.)
Biggie: Oof! (The crabs lower the Troll flag and roll up a crab flag.)
Poppy: Oh, frosting! (Her friends are seen lying in the sand and Branch gets up.) Listen, Trolls, the Finders-Keepers Critters want to keep my dad’s castle. But we can’t let them steal my dad’s legacy. We are going over that wall! (She and her friends yell and charge toward the castle. They try to use their hair to climb over the wall, but the crabs cut the hair and they fall head-first onto the sand.) We are going some other way around that wall. (She and her friends spray water into the sand and make a sand log with the face of a Puffalo in the front. When they use it however, one of the crabs pours a bucket of water onto the log, destroying it.)
All: Huh? (Smidge falls over and Poppy, Branch, Biggie, and Cooper hit the wall.)
Poppy: I think they’re winning. (She builds a pony made of sand.) We give up! The castle is yours! Here’s a giant gift horse with nothing inside. Trust me. That’s a thing. (The crabs do nothing for a minute. Then one of them gets out of the castle and sprays water onto the horse, destroying it. It is revealed that Smidge, Peppy, Cooper, and Biggie were in it. They fall onto the sand. The crabs then laugh at them.)
Smidge: That didn’t work at all!
Poppy: It wasn’t supposed to. We’re just the distraction. (As the crabs continue to laugh, Branch flies on a purple Flyer Bug and jumps into the castle. He then sprays the chains on the gate and Poppy, Smidge, Peppy, Biggie, and Cooper run in yelling. Poppy sprays water onto the sand and it forms a carpet. Smidge sands some crabs flying with it.)
Smidge: Who’s next?! (The crabs dig into he sand and escape.)
Branch: They’re burrowing away! We’ve won! (He and his friends cheer.)
Cooper: In your face! Yeah!
Poppy: (As she raises the Troll flag) Yeah! Work it!
Peppy: Congratulations, honey! The castle is yours!
Poppy: No, Dad. The castle is yours. (She and her father hug. Suddenly, the ground shakes.)
Branch: What’s going on?!
Cooper: Where’s that sound coming from?! (The Trolls run out of the castle. Underneath, the crabs carry it to the water.)
Branch: Oh, no! The critters are trying to take the castle back to the lagoon!
Poppy: But once it hits the water, it will completely fall apart! Someone has to talk some sense into them. Biggie?
Biggie: (gasps) Poppy, we’ve been over this! Romance language!
Poppy: Right. (She and her friends grab the castle with their hair. Biggie, Branch, Cooper, and Smidge fall into the water due to the sandcastle’s weight. Only Poppy remains.)
Branch: Poppy! (He gets out of the water.) The wall! It’s gonna give way any moment! Get out of there!
Poppy: No! This is my dad’s dream! I won’t give up on it! (The wall cracks some more.)
Peppy: Look out, Poppy! (He jumps in and grabs his daughter just as the wall breaks.)
Poppy: Oh, I should have given up on it.
Peppy: Poppy, are you OK?
Poppy: Yeah. Yeah, I am. Thanks to you. No! (Just as the crabs drag the sandcastle into the water, it completely falls apart.) Sorry, Dad. I… I messed up.
Peppy: Messed up? You made my biggest dream come true.
Poppy: (scoffs) For like, 15 minutes.
Peppy: Eh, for some dreams, that’s long enough.
Poppy: (sighs) I’m sorry we couldn’t build your legacy.
Peppy: Poppy, you’re the greatest legacy a father could ask for. (Poppy smiles.)
Poppy: Aw, Dad. (She sniffs and hugs her father.) Thank you. (Peppy falls asleep again.) Dad? (She, Branch, and Smidge laugh. Suddenly, a crab takes Smidge away as Poppy and Branch continue to laugh.)
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