The Mars Philosophy

The Mars Philosophy is a detailed in-depth look at the Schrodinger's M&Ms Theater Ad theory originally proposed by the Meme Lord. Similarly to the Review, MondayMan extends a simple joke into a 2,800+ word thesis deconstructing the joke, literally questioning if the mission can also be the envelope. Written on 4/26/2022, and taking 7 hours until its completion. While the time from start to finish took 7 hours, the actual writing time totals about 2 hours. It is an impressive feat, and can be read in its entirety below:
== Franklin's Envelope ==
If the agent hands the yellow m&m the object (in this case, I will refer to it as a letter to fix disambiguation) then refers to it as the “mission”, whilist comparing it to the original situation with Schrodinger’s Cat, then we can assume the following: Either the letter is the object that needs to be received, as both characters in this sense term the object as something which doesn’t contain anything. Or, the more probable example, there is something inside of the letter that is the use of the object. Now, considering that the main function of an envelope is to contain a letter or protect a thin, detailed item of any sort, when both refer to it as something different; for our example, the agent agrees that it is the “mission” which has to have substance. But, if it is just an envelope, which the yellow M&M says it is, then the letter’s contents would be empty. To put it in a way, the Schrodinger puzzle here is not whether the object is a letter or mission; rather it is a complex of whether there is something inside of the object or not. Now, consider that there could be multiple objects inside of the envelope, even though the envelope’s dimensions are not given measure nor volume. If both parties assume that there is indeed something inside of the envelope, then we could have a possible solution. If that isn’t the case, then we have created an infinite paradox. If the mission is indeed inside of the envelope, then case closed. If the Yellow M&M was instead referring to what was inside of the envelope, then chaos ensues. This could mean no less than 2 envelopes are hidden in the agent’s hand. This could also mean that either the 2nd envelope could contain a “mission”, or there would be yet another envelope inside of that. What this means, is that there is no specification on just how many envelopes are truly inside of the agent’s hand, nor would there be any justification on what specific envelope out of an infinite number could contain the “mission”. 
There is only one single metric that we are given to measure how many envelopes there are in this case, and it is the relative ease that the agent is able to hand the letter over to the yellow M&M. But, this would also require the weight of the “mission” and also the weight of a singular envelope. Note that if the weight was exactly zero, the number of envelopes would be infinite. We know that is not the case because, in the clip, the envelope appears require more effort to hold than zero. This once again justifies the possibility that the “mission” is an object inside of the envelope, but it does not clarify just how many envelopes there would be should there be x number of envelopes inside of the first one. We also can determine that the mission in question must be readable by the naked eye. This means that, if by some measure the mission is to be hidden in more than one envelope, then it needs to be just big enough to read, even if it is a paragraph long. Were this to be the case, it cannot exceed enough envelopes to weigh down the agent’s hand, nor can it be large enough to exceed the original envelope’s dimensions. It is a given that the subsequent envelopes will be marginally smaller than the first one, because should the other envelopes be the same size, it would create the same wrong situation with various overlaps. If the subsequent envelopes are bigger than the first, then the biggest of them would become the base envelope. I assume that, if the agent was able to swing the envelope out at arm’s length to give the envelope to Yellow M&M, if the mass is above 1 kg, then his arm would dip down an extremely small amount. Thus, if one envelope weighs 5 grams, and the “Mission” weighs 10, then based off the weight there should be around 180 envelopes and a “mission” in the agent’s hand. Based off of dimensions, if the envelopes’ size scales down by a very small factor, then there could possibly be around 10 envelopes inside of the base one, with the “mission.”
Note that all of this takes into account that this is a normal situation containing normal physics and grounded rules based on a three-dimensional system with forces that are correct with Earth. We can take into account that then this situation would be then entirely focused around Earthly physics. However, it would be incredibly difficult to construct a situation where these envelopes do, in fact, encapsulate each other to the point of which weight is a constant in all different predictions. But, considering that, of course, this is a mockery of a movie setting in order to make a lame attempt at capturing the audience's attention, to sell a product that has lost its original power over the few decades it has been sold. And, assuming this is a sci-fi sort of mockery indeed, then it's entirely possible the "mission" is given a little leeway into the impractical, theoretical physics realm. Consider that the "mission" is instead hidden in a place not grounded in the third, visible dimension: rather the envelope "contains" a mechanic that can call forth the "mission" at will. This could explain the weightlessness, as a quantum machine in an era where machines such as those presented in the rest of the advertisement may not weigh anything at all. Or, the envelope could be the doorway to the "mission", and the idea that the "mission" would be an inscribed letter telling a recipient a place, time, and objective would become irrelevant. This is possible, because the agent in his speech does not confirm or deny the true nature of his message. He merely says, "Here's your mission." The possibilities of the envelope containing something not founded in Newtonian science is entirely possible. And yet, it is also nullified by the fact that the original situation was of Schrodinger, where nobody truly knows what resides inside of a container unless it is opened. This was true with the cat, not knowing whether it was dead or alive; such is the same here, with no indication. 
There are a few more things to consider in this realm of ideals, concerning the letter and "mission"; involving the actual feelings exhibited by the Yellow M&M and cohorts during the whole ad. First off, the very first character that is given any type of dialogue in this failure is the agent distributing the letter. His intonation is very strict, and it does not betray emotion nor hidden bias. This may be because the agent knows which of the situations presented before is currently hidden in his hand, and knowing full well the implications of what he does hold, has been desensitized over the course of years to the point where, possibly holding a Nobel prize winning invention of teleportation has become nothing but dirt to him. Or the other possibility: He is merely the messenger, and is not instructed to reveal anything of the letter's contents, nor could he possibly know what kind of extreme insanity would be hidden inside of the letter he holds calmly. And to say that he is holding it calmly is true. It is assumed that he knows exactly what is inside of the letter because he does not betray the emotion of confusion when holding out the letter; assuming that he has either received or given at least one of these letters in the past before this very moment was recorded. This confusion would come when he would either judge the weight of the letter to be too large or too small; or the letter exceeding expected dimensions. But none of that is present, and therefore I surmise that our dear agent does know what he holds, AND he also has accepted any implications of what he does have in his hands, including any danger that should become of him. Holding a compressed machine of advanced technological nature would obviously bring a liability that would be accepted in the nature of the job, which either the agent has wholeheartedly accepted or has also become desensitized to the contents. This analysis of the agent brings variables, which is solved through analysis of the m&m.
Continue into the analysis of the Yellow M&M. What we do know is the entire joke of the first scene of this advertisement is entirely based around his confusion, as he states in a desperate grasp for any laughs from an audience that is either mulling over theatre snacks or slowly building frustration that there is a dumb ad on the screen and they don't want to wait any longer to see Twilight 17. Point aside, if we take into account that the Yellow M&M does not laugh after uttering his joke, rather than staring into the letter, being utterly baffled, unable to consider the idea of receiving the letter. This brings yet another variable into the situation, where the yellow M&M could have possibly been forced into this job, rather than being a contracted agent by the same agency of which the agent messenger came from. Now we know by continuing into the ad that there are other, differently colored M&M's who are equipped with the skills required to be a secret agent. Even at the end of the ad, we see the red M&M attempting to disarm a large rocket with only a Phillips head screwdriver; which he promptly quits as a phone ringing distracts him from his task and he neglects saving anybody at all. This is a big deal, because not only does this eliminate the variable that the yellow M&m is a trained, experienced agent, because his kindred who should also have the same years of experience tend to be clumsy when it comes to the actual job; but it also eliminates the possibility that the contents of the letter may be of high value or technological nature. The place of presentation is important too; obviously the letter is not important enough to keep hidden in the archives of a spy bunker. It can be given in broad daylight, to an agent that had obviously been randomly called from another occupation more peaceful than the dangerous work as being tied to a ballistic missile would imply. We are then left with Newtonian science solutions for the letter, and not quantum solutions.
Now is the time to decide exactly which of these solutions generated is the correct one required to solve this enigma of mission vs. man. Since we have already singled out enough to decide between the original solutions, of which we knew that three were possible, some being more likely than the other, let's name them. The first is the idea that there is one "mission" of some literary nature, or another way to convey information relative to the early 21st century; remember that we have already ruled out the possibility that non-Newtonian scientific purveyors of this critical information or even non-Euclidian solutions are present. This singular "mission" would have to fit inside of ONE envelope. Our second idea is the number of envelopes required to conceal the information judged by mass of the whole package, which was estimated to be around 180 total envelopes. This is the least likely of the three options, because each of the subsequent envelopes absolutely cannot equal the exact dimensions of the envelope before it, and it must be small enough to account for the thickness of the material of which the envelope is made out of. The final result would be a set of envelopes inside of each other which would be infinitesimally thin, almost enough to snap at the breath of wind, and a mission that would be too small to read with the naked eye. It is still ever so slightly possible, because even though we see the "mission" progress throughout the ad assuming that the letter had been read, with no real indication of how; we do know that the yellow M&M does not require a magnifying glass to read the letter, mostly because he does not open the letter in order to collect the information of the "mission," but also that it is shown that the m&m has a camera with the ability to zoom in. Finally, if the # of envelopes is based off of dimensions, it is still possible especially now factoring in the camera. This increases # of envelopes tenfold. Now, which one is the correct answer?
The chances of all three options are as follows: the one envelope one "mission" theory stands at fifty percent, the number of envelopes based on weight is ten percent, and the number of envelopes based on dimensions is forty percent. What will determine between the three is the true nature of the "mission," which up until now has remained an intangible entity whose only three details are as follows: It can be contained in the dimensions of one standard U.S envelope; it is a conveyor of information, whether it is literary, motion, or transmits it in some other way; and finally it has weight, meaning it is an object that is dictated by the properties of matter. Not that we couldn't determine this through ruling out non-Newtonian science earlier. The weight of the prescribed "mission" has already been factored into the # of envelopes based on weight, but none of the other definitions of the "mission" are correct. This is because the information inside would be too small to video, transmit through a sound device, or be applicable in written form. This is because while it is possible for the the words to be written small enough, it would be too inefficient for the message to get through. This is because we see in the next scene that two of the M&Ms are spying off of a similar looking building, which would've taken much longer to access should the information be that small, and the sun would move much further. This definitely is the same day, too, because the state of their equipment is mediocre at best. So # based on weight is ruled out. Now, to tackle the most possible option: if it is one envelope containing one mission. Remember, the three definitions of the mission was that it conveys info, is tangible, and fits in an envelope. We know the envelope is tangible because we see the agent and m&m touch it. But the clincher here is that no "mission" is given. A tangible "mission" is never given in all three, but justification is present in the others. Where is the proof?
Well, the clincher is in fact that the one envelope-one "mission" solution is that there is no justification that the mission is indeed tangible. In the # based on weight situation we know there must be a tangible mission because it must be factored into the weight calculation. But here, there is no weight needed. We just assume that there is a literary "mission" inside of the envelope. All assumptions of this entire thesis have so far been based on fact, but here we don't truly know what the mission could be. If it does not have weight, then it may not exist. This leads to the final option, which is # based on dimensions. Does this satisfy the conditions of having a real "mission?" Well, we can estimate that. Instead of determining the weight of something, we are going to estimate the dimensions of this one "mission." It must be legible at least with the naked eye (as proven, had the camera been used, the time of day would have changed), and it must convey information. Technology could transmit the information via sound, but if this message is this important, than why jeopoardize the operation at the start by broadcasting classified information? This cannot be. It must be literary information. This brings the whole puzzle to a close. The smallest book known to humankind is "Teeny Ted from Turnip Town," by Robert Chaplin. If this information could fit on a singular page that size, then the number of envelopes increases. Calculating via general measurements of a normal U.S envelope, as it appears to be, we can determine that our correct situation, with the correct amount of envelopes and a "mission" proven to exist in literary form, we can estimate around 7 to 8 envelopes can be hidden inside of each other, before the "mission." This then ties back to the original question: IS there a mission if you do not open the letter? And, by these possible dimensions, I would say yes. Schrodinger's cat is different because there are no measurements allowed. 
I rest my case.
== Legacy ==
The Mars Philosophy, or as Mike Kachowski dubs it, "Franklin's Envelope", remains as one of the largest walls of text in Meme Council history, though it is still dwarfed by The Review, it is a great piece of work regardless. Amazing how far one stupid joke can go, isn't it?
Category:Meme Council Lore
Category:Meme Council Literary Works of Art
Category:2022