Duckman's 2nd Movie/Transcript

There is the transcript of this movie.
== Transcript ==
=== Act 1 - The Beginning ===
(In a black background "Paramount Pictures & Reno & Osborn Films Present" & "A Klasky Csupo Production" fade in and out of view, with magical Orchestra music playing and the title "Duckman's 2nd Movie" appears in a city background and the title disappears)
(And the camera zooms down the stage)
(People cheering)
Duckman: Ladies and gentlemen, Boys and girls! I have something very nice to say!
Duckman: Of course, I'm a detective!
(People cheering)
Duckman: I have a show that's aired from 1994 to 1997!
(People cheering)
Duckman: My show is officially on that channel, USA Network!
(People cheering)
Bernice: Duckman, wake up!
(Duckman gasps)
Bernice: Duckman, you're gonna be late for work again!
Duckman: okay, Bernice! Let's settle in!
(Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root plays)
♪ On my way, On my way ♪
♪ On my way, On my way ♪
(Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root continues)
(Shower water runs)
Duckman: Boy! I just love taking showers! ♪ La de da dum doo doo ♪
♪ On my way, On my way ♪
(Send Me On My Way by Rusted Roots fades in the end)
Duckman: Woo-hoo! I can't believe we're happy!
Duckman: I'm go gonna have some fun!
Bernice: Boys, breakfast is ready!
Bernice: bet Duckman's going!
(Bernice gasps)
Bernice: Oh, my god! I never felt that great!
(Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners plays)
(Duckman gets into the car seat and closes the door then the car starts driving)
(Come On Eileen continues)
♪ Come On Eileen ♪
(Come On Eileen continues with the violin sound)
♪ Come On Eileen ♪
♪ Poor old Johnny Ray ♪
♪ Sounded sad upon the radio ♪
♪ Moved a million hearts in mono ♪
(Come On Eileen continues by Dexys Midnight Runners)
Duckman: Yeah! Today's the day!
Duckman: Oh, Fluffy! Uranus! Nice day you're having! huh?
(then Fluffy and Uranus shook their heads down and up)
(Door open)
Duckman: Oh, Corny! Ready to go on a perfect cruise?
Cornfed: Yep!
Duckman: I'm so excited corny! The cruise is almost at 1:15 tomorrow!
Cornfed: Yep, still an act of it!
Duckman: Yeah, It's got a beautiful house! We can order room service! Like, I can have a hangout with you, Cornicle!
Cornfed: Yes!
Duckman: Oh, Fluffy, Uranus,
(Door opens)
Fluffy and Uranus: Hello, Mr. Duckman!
Duckman: Oh, how wonderful! Are you going on a cruise with us?
(Fluffy and Uranus stared at their faces and stared at Duckman)
Fluffy: We don't know sure, Why are you taking us on a cruise with us?
Uranus: Cruises are really dangerous, There can be lightning strikes, Or... Rainstorms!!!!!!!!!!
Duckman: Oh, come on! You know, It's real fun! Actually fun!
(then Fluffy and Uranus stared at Duckman and Cornfed)
Fluffy and Uranus: Okay!
(Fluffy and Uranus walked and closed the door)
Duckman: Man, That's frog work!!!!!!!!!!! Why would Fluffy and Uranus take us on a cruise?
Cornfed: Well, you're a slave! We'll go tomorrow.
(Duckman says "hmm?")
Duckman: Oh, waiter! Care for a glass of fresh lemonade?
(Door opens)
Waiter: Well, here you go!
Waiter: Fresh lemonade, coming up!
(Waiter places the lemonade cup on Duckman's Desk)
(then Duckman takes a sip of the fresh lemonade)
(Duckman drinks the lemonade)
Duckman: Ah, fresh lemonade! Tastes great!
Cornfed: Well, as long as if you want bacon for breakfast.
(Duckman gasps in shock)
(Dramatic music plays)
(Duckman screams)
Duckman: I forgot my cruise ticket!
Duckman: Fluffy!!!! Uranus!!! I got a call real quick!!!! See you tomorrow!!!
(Fluffy and Uranus stared at their faces)
Fluffy: Well, it's really worse to go on cruises
(Dramatic music continues)
Duckman: Oh no no no no no no no!!!!! It's lunchtime already and I left my cruise ticket on the kitchen counter!
(Duckman opens the car door and then he closes the car door)
(Car screeches)
(Dramatic music ends)
(Black background appears)
(then the Black background dissapears)
(Car screeches to the parking spot)
Duckman: Oh my god! I don't have that much time left!
(Duckman opens the car door and then he closes it)
(Duckman panting and running to the porch)
Duckman: Alright, I'll give the door a knock
(then Duckman knocks on the door)
(Door opens)
Bernice: Hello, Duckman! How was work?
Duckman: Well, it actually gave me the creeps! But still good.
Bernice: I made you a shrimp alfredo
Duckman: Okay, I think I just left my cruise ticket on the counter!
Bernice: You did?
Duckman: Did you bake cookies?
Bernice: No!
Duckman: You were in the house for an hour?
Bernice: Actually, yes!
Bernice: (laughs) I can't believe you just left your cruise ticket on the counter!
Duckman: But.. but... but.
Bernice: No buts!
Bernice: Now, come on in!
(then Duckman walked to the house)
Duckman: Good day, Charles and Mambo! Are you so excited to go on the cruise?
Charles: Yes, I know we can!
Duckman: I don't know but it's sort of weird though.
Duckman: Maybe, there can be GIANT LIGHTNING STRIKES!!!!! or RAINSTORMS!!!!!!!
Duckman: What color can you choose, Ajax? white or yellow?
Ajax: Yellow.
Duckman: DWAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Duckman: The color of your skin is yellow!
Duckman: You're living in an empty hole!!!!!!
Ajax: Actually, you just baked pie
Duckman: Hmm??? That's weird.
Bernice: Duckman, if you don't eat your lunch, It's gonna be thrown away in the trash!
Duckman: I'll eat my lunch then!
Charles and Mambo: Failed!
(then Charles and Mambo walks to their room)
=== Act 2 - The Cruise ===
(Duckman gently eats the shrimp alfredo)
Duckman: Lunch is over! It's 1:00 already!
Bernice: Okay, I'll clean your plate first, then get your ticket!
(Bernice washes Duckman's plate)
Duckman: I've been eating chocolate morsel pancakes for breakfast?!?!?
(Bernice turns off the sink)
Bernice: Now, Duckman, get your ticket!
Duckman: Yes, Bernice!
(Duckman walks to the kitchen counter)
(Flute sting plays)
Duckman: Oh, It's just my cruise ticket!
Bernice: It's your first cruise!
Duckman: Yeah, I'm the one who passed tests! and I'm the one who started being a real detective!
Bernice: That means, We're moving to a new home!
(Duckman cheers "Yay" and clapped his hands)
(Cornfed opens the door)
Cornfed: Duckman, I already have good news! We're moving to New York!
(Duckman says "Woo-hoo!")
Duckman: Can't you see that, Corny? We're on our way to New York! We can have a new hotel! Am I right? Bernice?
Bernice: Well, thank you, Duckman! So we packed all of the stuff! We packed bedroom stuff! And more stuff we packed
Duckman: Wait a minute! was Gecko a good dog? Or is he mean?
Duckman: Or some kind of person would throw a dish, ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!
(Duckman walks super sassy easily)
Duckman: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!! 
(Duckman slams the door)
Cornfed: Poor Duckman, I guess he couldn't quit at all...
(Eagle cries)
Duckman: Hmm? That's weird, an eagle in the sky...
(Duckman open the map and says "Ha!")
(Duckman gently stares at the map to new york)
Duckman: Yep, too unusual...
Duckman: Well well well..... I took 18 strep tests! (Duckman cries) Guess I told Bernice not to do it!
(Duckman sobs hardly)
Duckman: Puppets on a string.....
(Duckman sobs)
Duckman: Chocolate ice cream.......
(Duckman still sobs)
Duckman: And corndogs...........
(Duckman sobs hardly until Cornfed arrives at the door)
Cornfed: Here, Duckman. What's the matter?
Duckman: Bernice was acting like a bit of a piece of hippopotamus poop..... But she told me I was old enough to do stuff like that....
Duckman: Since I was a kid....
Duckman: I was left alone on the playground.....
Duckman: My mother died since tried to pick me up that night....
(Mind opens with water effect)
(Crickets chirping)
(Beautiful piano music plays)
(Swing swings slowly)
Duckman (as a kid): Hey, Let's build a sand castle!
Child #1: Come on!
(Child #1 finishes building the sand castle)
Duckman's mother: Duckman! Time to go home!
Duckman (as a kid): I'm coming!
(Duckman runs as he hugs his mom)
(Duckman hugs his mom)
Duckman: Then, my mom died.....
(Memory disappears as the water effect blows)
Duckman: Back in 1966......
Duckman: (sniffs)- I was even still here.....
Duckman: My career has been cancelled.........
Cornfed: You must be ashamed of yourself! Shut up!
(Cornfed slaps Duckman as he was finished being sad)
Duckman: Hey! What the hell are you doing here!?!? weren't you supposed to take it out on me?!?!? Sure!!!!!!!
Cornfed: I swear! If you don't behave, You'll enter into the darkest hole you've ever visite-
Duckman: Shut the hell up!!!! I don't want to!!!!! You stupid dingbat!!!!!!!!!
Cornfed: Hey, don't call me dingbat!!!!!!!!
Duckman: But since I told you, please! just this once!!!!!!!!!! It's just an advertisement!!!!!!
Cornfed: Fine! he will never do the rest of the things he'd never deserve!!!!!!!!!!!
Cornfed: Come on, I'll take you!
Duckman: Hey, don't stick your tongue out!!!!!!
(Cornfed shuts the door)
Charles: I knew dad was even right, But he told us why we weren't into talking about stuff like that.
Mambo: Uncle Cornfed, what are you doing?!?!?
Cornfed: I'm taking Duckman to his room!!!!! So he can feel the temperature on the air conditioner.
(Cornfed walks while he carries Duckman)
Charles and Mambo: He did an awful thing!!!!!!!
Bernice: Well, That was a very bad thing to do, Huh?
Duckman: Can't you see Cornfed?!? Someone's on your tail!!!!!! Just let go!!!!
(Duckman unlocks his hand by holding Cornfed's)
(Duckman falls himself on the ground)
Duckman: Oh shoot, I never get laid.
(Duckman gasps as he saw a little thing on the floor)
Duckman: A LACK?!? HOW?!?!??!?
Bernice: Maybe it's all your fault!!!!!!!!!!
Charles: I told Bernice just not to mention people like that since you were in Canada!!!!!
Cornfed: We could have asked you that before everyone else does!
(Bernice, Charles and Mambo, and Cornfed chattering angry at Duckman)
Duckman: QUIET!!!!!!!
(Duckman walks just to smash the plate on the floor)
(then Duckman throws it on the floor by shattering sounds)
(Duckman gets on his knees on the floor by staring at the broken plate)
(Duckman sniffs)
(Duckman sobs)
(Bernice, Charles and Mambo, and Ajax stares at Duckman as he still cries)
Bernice: Here, Duckman, what's the matter?
Duckman: I just want to be on my own....
(Duckman sobs)
Duckman: Just to live on this planet....
(Duckman keeps sobbing)
Bernice: Come on, You'll clean this mess up..
(Duckman puts the shattered plate pieces in the trash)
Cornfed: It's not just kind of fair. But we only appropriately know how to get into this, Okay?
Charles: Can you keep an eye on dad?
Mambo: Like some kind of charge?
Cornfed: No!
Charles and Mambo: But please, We want to!!!!!!
Cornfed: Okay fine, You can still do it.
Charles and Mambo: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bernice: So, Duckman. You wanna just go on the cruise with us?
Duckman: Yes, I did it! I-
(Duckman ears get set on fire)
(Duckman screams)
Duckman: Hot hot hot hot hot hot!!!!!! Need water need water!
(Duckman pours water on his ears)
(Duckman sighs)
(Duckman laughs)
Duckman: Sorry about that, Bernice. I- I um- I just want to tell you.
Bernice: What about yours?
Duckman: But I told you! There's a chance!
Duckman: Let me tell you Bernice,
Duckman: To protect the land, We told you. This, is an act of everyone!
Duckman: Once before you know it, We'll save the land!
Bernice: Duckman, what are you talking about?
Duckman: Oh, he-he, just my announcement. You know?
Duckman: Over land, over sea, I'm the best hero in the world!
Duckman: Their beloved land, is ours.
(Bernice, Charles & Mambo, Ajax & Cornfed shouts "YAY!!!!!")
Ajax: We can do it!
(Whimsical music plays)
(Door opens)
Duckman: Hello corny, Ha! You haven't seen me today!
Cornfed: How's it going, Duckman?
Duckman: I can't believe it corny, I'm so excited to go on the cruise with you! And, don't forget. I've got snacks! I've got chips, candy, cookies, crackers, & even pretzels!
Cornfed: Um, Duckman? That is not an option. Just put them in your bag
Duckman: Yep corny, Just until the big one goes bye-bye!
(Radio beeps)
Fluffy (on the radio): Mr. Duckman, We need you to reserve to get us in the fish tank.
Uranus (on the radio): Um, is my mic on? Just gladly think you're gonna answer before he does.
Duckman: I can't disappoint myself anymore, I'm on it!
(Door opens and shuts)
Duckman: Oh, Fluffy! Uranus! What do you think of it?
Duckman: And here's the fish tank you can get in!
(then Duckman grabs Fluffy and Uranus)
(Duckman fills the fish tank with water)
(Splash!)
Duckman: And, put a lid on top!
Duckman: Bye bye, Corny! See you on the cruise!
Cornfed (in the door): You'll have a weird question too!
(Duckman closes the door)
Fluffy: Ooh, that's really kind of stupid!
Uranus: We'll be stuck forever when we get ourselves on the cruise!
=== Act 3 - Going to the Cruise ===
Bernice: Thank you, master. And don't forget to get the ship ready! Bye!
(The phone gets hung up)
(The camera zooms to the right up the house)
Charles (in the house): Give me that piggy bank! Would you?!?!
Mambo: Give me that, it's my piggy bank
Charles: No! That piggy bank it's mine
Mambo: Let go you big disgrace!!!!!!!!!!
(The piggy bank shatters on the floor)
Ajax: (gasps) Mom! they broke the piggy bank! Help!
(door opens & shuts)
Bernice: What's going on over here?!!!?!
Charles: Um, we just... broke our piggy bank!
Bernice: You pervert!!!!!!
(Bernice slaps Charles in the face and Mambo fell)
Bernice: You're absolutely nothing but a big deep-fried flying bird poo menace who'd rather cause trouble!
Mambo: But we didn't cause trouble and don't call us a big deep-fried flying bird poo menace!
Charles: Yeah, that was a very mean name to call us today!
Mambo: I'm sorry aunt bernice...
Bernice: I forgive you, boys... and remember, don't try to break your piggy bank again...
Charles & Mambo: Thank you.....
(Door opens)
Duckman & Cornfed: Good afternoon, everybody!
Bernice: Oh, hi Duckman! I thought we were getting ready for the cruise!
Bernice: Woah! It's almost 12:50! Let's go!
Duckman, Ajax, Bernice, Charles & Mambo, Cornfed & Fluffy and Uranus: Yeah!!!!!!!!!
(Door gets closed)
Charles: Wow, a van!
Bernice: Come on in!
(Duckman & his family gets in the van, then Bernice buckles her seat belt and puts her hands on the steering wheel, and Duckman buckles his seat belt and the van starts driving to the left)
Duckman: *sniffs* ahhh.... The smell of the fresh air! right Bernice?
Bernice: Yeah, and it's pretty beautiful outside!
Mambo: ♪ Row row, row your boat ♪
Charles: ♪ Gently down the-
Cornfed: Give me that!!!!!
(Cornfed gently puts the toy boat on the floor)
Ajax: What's wrong?
Cornfed: You know, I'm not interested in boats. Right?
Charles: But we like boats!
Cornfed: No, I don't like boats. I would get sea sick!
Bernice: Cornfed, I know you don't like boats! But let's not talk about it! Okay?
Bernice: And here we are!
(The van screeches to the parking lot)
(Bernice & the Duckman family opens the van doors and then shuts them)
Duckman: Wow, Bernice! It's so beautiful! I wonder what it is!
Bernice: Keep quiet, alright? And check it out!
Ajax, Charles & Mambo: Wow!!!!!!!!!!!
Charles: What is that?!
Mambo: A giant ship?
Bernice: Yes it is, It's a cruise ship!
Uranus: Mr. Cornfed! What are you doing!!?!
Cornfed: Ssssshhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Voice level zero! alright?
Duckman: I can't believe it corny, a giant ship!
Duckman: But first, let's get all of the stuff we packed!
Bernice, Charles & Mambo, Cornfed, Ajax & Fluffy and Uranus: All right!
(Bernice, Charles & Mambo, Cornfed, Ajax ran to get the stuff they packed)
Cornfed: Usually, Duckman. I'm not a big fan of boats! But I wanna get here if I want to!
Bernice: Let's go!
Bernice, Duckman, Cornfed, Charles & Mambo, Ajax, & Fluffy and Uranus: Hooray!!!!!!
(Bernice, Duckman, Cornfed, Charles & Mambo, & Ajax with their stuff they packed walked upstairs the cruise ship)
Duckman: There it is corny, This is the cruise!
Duckman: And that'll be 50 bucks for good luck!
Cornfed: Um, Duckman. I think this is not going well......
(Cornfed blows his cheeks and his face turns green)
(Cornfed runs)
(Cornfed vomits)
Bernice: Aw....... poor Cornfed.....
Bernice: He seems kind of okay.... But actually.
Cornfed: Here, let me get you both out of here
(Cornfed opens the fish tank lid)
(Fluffy & Uranus breathing)
Fluffy: Gee, Mr. Cornfed... we're all wet!
Uranus: Yeah, but can you get us a towel to dry?
Bernice: Don't worry, I'll get them for you!
(Bernice walks to get the towels, then gets to Fluffy and Uranus)
(and Bernice put the towels on Fluffy and Uranus to dry them)
(Cruise ship sound plays)
Captain: All aboard!
(The cruise ship starts moving)
Duckman: What is this, corny?!?
Cornfed: Uh- um..........
(Cornfed closes his mouth as he finished talking)
Duckman: Say it!!!!!!
(Cornfed kept his mouth quiet as he was not talking)
Duckman: Say it corny!!!!!!!! Or get sprayed by a skunk!!!!!
(Cornfed starts to say a word out of his mouth)
Cornfed: Garbage.
(Duckman gasps)
(Duckman screams)
(Hawaii music plays)
(Cornfed takes a sip of fresh lemonade)
Cornfed: Ahhh.... what a nice day I've ever had!
Duckman: I can't believe it corny!!!!! I'd rather eat garlic!!!!!!!
Duckman: There is nothing to do with an absolute crybaby!!!!!!
Cornfed: Duckman, if you don-
Duckman: Shut up!!!!! or I will send you to Italy!!!!!!
Cornfed: Duckman, we don't live in Italy. calm down...
(Duckman was quiet when he was about to say a word)
Duckman: Oh, well well well.... corny! Who's with me now!!!
(Duckman walks to the patio lounge chair and relaxes)
Duckman: One lemonade please, waiter!
Waiter: Alright, coming right up!
(The waiter walks to Duckman and serves him a cup of fresh lemonade)
(then Duckman drink the lemonade)
Duckman: You know, corny? I think it's a lot of fun spending time on this giant ship!
King Chicken: Hey! Get back over there!!!!
Fluffy: Mr. Chicken, I told you not to do this!!!!!
King Chicken: What's the matter with you?!?!?!!!? Can't you se-
Uranus: Nope, Mr. Chicken! Do not do it!!!!
(King Chicken screams)
Duckman: King Chicken, you're done with it and be quiet!!!!!
Cornfed: Yeah, Duckman and I were having fun on the cruise!!!
(Seagull sounds in the sky)
Bernice: I think's a perfect summer break for that! Is it?
Ajax: Yeah, but it's too hot outside! Aunt Bernice, hand me the juice!
(Bernice tries to hand Ajax the juice)
(then Ajax drinks the juice)
Charles: Yeah, you're kind of an extremely huge disgrace anyway, Mambo! What would you think?
Duckman: Oh, Charles, Mambo, We bought you snacks!
Mambo: Mmmmmm! Those snacks look delicious!
(Mambo eats the potato chips)
Charles: Eatin' some potato chips, eh? Oh, okay, that's good! You can still eat them!
Duckman: Oh my god!!!!!!!! What on earth is wrong with you guys?!?! Did you just do this?!?!!
Charles & Mambo, Ajax, Bernice, & Cornfed: We didn't.....
(Mambo keeps munching on the potato chips)
Duckman: Ugh.... fine! as long as you do the rest for cleaning that shirt yesterday....
King Chicken (in Duckman's brain with an echo voice): (yells) You can almost feel your brain cells dying, can't you? can't you? can't yo-
Ajax (in Duckman's brain with an echo voice): What's wrong, dod? Is there anything you can like?
(Duckman puts his hands on his brain to stop hearing the voices)
Bernice (in Duckman's brain with an echo voice): None of your business!!!!!!!!!
(Duckman starts panting as his brain couldn't shut up)
Duckman (in his brain with an echo voice): I don't know art, but I know what I like-- breathing!!!!!!!!! breathing!!!!!! breathi-
(then Duckman's brain started to shut up)
Duckman: Hmmmm? That's weird..... Another strange thing happening on my mind...
Duckman: Of course, I could be wrong....
Charles: What is that thing in the sky?!?!!!!?!!!!!!!?!?
(Mambo accidentally dropped his bag of potato chips on the cruise floor)
Mambo: Of course, Charles. unless if it's..... a thunderstorm!!!!!!!!!!
Charles & Mambo: Dive!!!!!!!
(Charles & Mambo dives into the sea)