The Squidward Files: New Year's Squid

The Squidward Files: New Year's Squid is the 6th episode of The Squidward Files that premiered on December 30, 2012. The previous episode is The Squidward Files: Christmas Special and the next is The Squidward Files: Urchin Crab.
==Plot==
It's the run up to New Year, and King Neptune has invited everyone to come to the palace to celebrate. Squidward attends, not realising that the guards are the Purple Dragons.
==Characters==
==Awards==
This episode hasn't won any awards yet.
==Transcript==
*(It's New Year's Eve, and Squidward is at home preparing for the event. Suddenly, a letter comes through the mail flap from King Neptune).
*Squidward: A letter for me, like this can be real life. I crack myself up sometimes!
*Voice in Head: Squidward, get a hold of yourself, this is real life. Read the letter and find something important to you.
*Squidward: Like what, an invitation to King Neptune's New Year's celebration? A front row ticket to Kelpy J's concert?
*Voice in Head: Open the letter and find out Squidward, just open the letter, do it, do it, do it already!
*(Squidward opens the letter and sees it is from King Neptune. It says "Dear Random Bikini Bottomite, you are invited to my celebration. King Neptune".).
*Squidward: Yes, yes, yes! Yes, I'm invited to King Neptune's New Year celebration and your not SpongeBob! Sucka!
*(SpongeBob and Patrick appear outside, both holding the exact same letters, looking confused at Squidward).
*SpongeBob: Actually Squidward, we all got invitations, me, Patrick, Mr Krabs, ECT...
*Patrick: Heck yeah!
*Squidward: I knew it was just too good to be true...
*(With 6 hours to go until New Year, everyone heads off to King Neptune's Palace. Famous fish and all Bikini Bottomites turn up. Squilliam Fancyson is the centre of attention).
*Squilliam: So then I said, what's that little thing in your pocket old chap, and he was like, nothing Squilliam.
*Squidward: That no good centre of attention. Next he'll be questioning to the King, "Do you know who I am?".
*SpongeBob: Hey, that's the guy with the funny eyebrow!
*Squilliam: Ow, SpongeBrain, I'm not "The guy with a funny eyebrow", I'm the real octopus of the ocean and not a smug copycat like Squidward Tentacles.
*Squidward: Hey, I can hear you I know!
*King Neptune: Order, order in the hall people! Right, I have invited you folk here tonight to bring in the New Year. Enjoy and please stay until the countdown.
*(At the other side of the Palace, the Purple Dragons come in on ropes and knock out the four guards. They fit into the heavy suits).
*Purple Dragons Leader: Right, we've done step 1, so now to find Squidward Tentacles, and now we're in the suits King Neptune will think we're taking out a villain! Come on.
*Patrick: What's this, a coo, cook, co...
*Squidward: For goodness sake Patrick it's a coke!
*Mr. Krabs: Hey there fellas, having a nice evening?
*Squidward: Yes if SpongeBob and Patrick stop making a fool of me!
*Mr. Krabs: Well I'll just be off pickpocketing the rich, I mean feeding my worm here!
*SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, you don't have a worm pet.
*Mr. Krabs: Best be getting along now guys, see you at the Krusty Krab!
*(King Neptune announces on speaker that it is five minutes until it strikes midnight and New Year. Meanwhile, the Purple Dragons target Squidward).
*Jason: But boss, what if he doesn't' have his diary?
*Purple Dragons Leader: Hey idiot, pipe down or people will know we're trying to steal the diary. I know he has it, he's addicted to it.
*Bowser: So are you as a matter if fact, boss.
*Purple Dragons Leader: Shut your gob hole or I'll just make you shut up by stabbing you with this large sword!
*Bowser: Won't happen again.
*(The crowd start cheering as the clock strikes 23.59. The Purple Dragons realise they only have one minute to pull this off before the security scanners flash at 00.00).
*Purple Dragons Leader: Sharkface, Jason, go down and assianate Squidward Tentacles. I've got to deal with Bowser!
*Sharkface: Come on Jason we've got to go quickly!
*Bowser: What are you gonna do to me boss?
*Purple Dragons Leader: I'm gonna...promote you to my personal and full-time bodyguard! That's what I'm gonna do.
*(Jason and Sharkface risk it and jump into the crowd, running towards Squidward with 10 seconds left).
*SpongeBob: Squidward, watch out!
*(SpongeBob swings Squidward out the way over a tray of fresh bakery items. The two Purple Dragons smash into SpongeBob and bounce off).
*Everyone: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
*Jason: Oh no, we're busted!
*(All the Purple Dragons are revealed and taken away by the real guards. Everyone celebrates and barely realises the calamity).
*Narrator: Happy New Year to all readers on the Wiki!
*[End of episode]
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