Ford v. Shenise: Dawn of Justice

Ford V. Shenise(Aka, past memeber Squints), was the most legendary and brutal student fight at Abington Heights High School during Meme Council history. 
== Buildup ==
Squints had been a local menace during some Memeber's Period 6 lunch for weeks. Nobody at the table necessarily wanted him there, and even despite direct requests from The Rare Meme Lord of Cinder to leave, he stuck around, like a parasite. He had quite a cringe habit of 'borrowing' The Meme Lord's Chromebook, and doing sus things on it such as 'trying to get a new birth certificate' (???). It even got to the point where Squints took a hint and left himself, but came crawling back with Lemonade at his side. Lemonade, not understanding the situation, and not even aware that we had anything to do with Squints current situation, simply asked if it was ok if Squints could sit with us. We weren't evil, so we accepted, but after that, Squints wasn't going anywhere.
So we were back in the Squints cycle, with no end in sight, each of us dreading lunch more and more. We being none other than The Booper, sitting on the opposite side, The Meme Lord, and Redneck Memer. The Rare Meme Lord of Cinder on this particular occasion was not present. However, there was mild entertainment in the works. Ford, a past enemy and abuser of Meme Lord, Sly Frog Fry, and many others in the Council and at the high school, had found his new target: None other than Squints. He wouldn't do much but occasionally look over and say something crude, to which Squints would overreact and get angry, which Ford likes watching, while Squints might say something small back and mutter vile things under his breath for the rest of the period.
This process continued for a few weeks, Squints growing to hate Ford, and Ford more or less feeling indifferent to him, but enjoying watching his reactions. You have to understand that Squints...had some problems. There was a mental hospital involved, severe anger issues, among other things. He even claimed to us once that he is not allowed to be on computers due to whatever condition he has. So when he got angry, he really got angry, and it was becoming more and more clear eventually he wouldn't be taking hits from Ford any longer.
Ford, on the other hand, has grown himself quite a reputation as just being THE kid who got into fights, up to this date we personally have heard of him getting into more than 3 fights, though none of them big enough or long enough or popular enough for us to get details. He gets ISS on a daily basis, and is pretty much a jerk to everybody. He would probably be the last person a giga-scrawny nerd would want to be fighting.
...
Until one fateful day...
== The Battle ==
Note: This story is told through the perspective of The Meme Lord
November 2nd, 2018. The time is roughly 12:22 PM. Squints enters the cafeteria and sits at our table like any other day, only this day he is visibly angry and confident, cocky even, stomping in. Before even sitting down he says to the table: "I'm gonna punch that kid, I'm gonna do it today, let him try he cant beat me I can fight him". We offer no response but he is evidently more mad and cocky than usual. We didn't expect anything to come from it though. 
About 8 minutes later Squints decides he's gonna give Ford some 'payback'. Ford happened to look at him funny and Squints, deciding that was enough, starting shouting f bombs at him from our table. Ford takes it for a bit but Squints, repeating f bombs like a broken record, doesn't take the hint. Ford takes the bait after a bit and says something that to this day, I can not recall what it was, something involving a f bomb though, to Squints. And that was just what Squints was waiting for.
"OH YEAH??! OH YEAH YOU THINK YOU CAN CALL ME-" Squints stands up like a rocket. Those actually half paying attention barely notice that he had stood up and is already making his way over to Ford. He runs over and immediately starts light slapping/hitting Ford's back. Its rather pathetic and Ford knows it, actually pretending to ignore him and even smirking at one point. Now that I think about it its a bit surprising he didn't instantly kill Squints right then and there. Squints doesn't stop though, he keeps up the barrage, occasionally letting f bombs slip through. Ford decides enough is enough, gets up and forcefully pushes Squints away. Ford begins to sit back down but Squints didn't take that shove lightly.
Squints is simply enraged by that shove, the retaliation he was looking for. He lunges back at Ford, even doing this little angry screech thing, and not 2 seconds pass when Ford leaves his seat and tackles Squints to the floor. At this point the Cafeteria is slowly going silent, only Tino, sitting at Ford's table, and The Booper and myself at our table, among a few randos, are actually watching this happen. Nobody moves to get out of their seat and break this up, and I personally believe that due to the recent Milk Fight, some were actually hoping to see a fight at Abington. Most are in shock that these two degens just actually went at it.
Ford is decimating Squints while they roll on the floor a bit. Squints gets away but Ford grabs him again and they clash into the table in front of ours, the seats and table rattling as Squints is delivering pathetic blows. The noise of Squints/Ford rolling onto the side of the table finally shut up the rest of the Cafeteria, now dead silence. Squints still regaining his footing, he moves back to the 'pathway' between our tables and this is where he famously gets his arm stuck in his jacket flap. Its a little hard to describe but its like when your jacket hunches up and your elbow gets stuck in the pocket, thats what it sort of looked like. Its very clear at this point that Squints doesn't really know what he's doing and is flailing his jacket flap at Ford, slapping him with it. Ford at this point I think thought the fight was ridiculous as this kid is flopping his jacket flap at him, and thats when it happened.
Ford delivered the most powerful punch I had seen, right into Squint's face. Squints stumbles back a bit, his head completely turning to the left, his glasses flying behind him and clattering on the floor, a good 7 feet away. The spectating cafeteria couldn't help themselves and quite a few groaned and some "whoa'd". Everybody could feel that punch. I was shocked Squints was still standing after that, but after a few seconds he went right back into attack mode, which for Squints is just slapping Ford. 
It was at this point, after like a full minute into this fight, when some Teachers finally notice that theres 2 adolescents murdering each other in the middle of the cafeteria. Ms. Price and another unidentified teacher run in, separate the two, and drag them out by their underarms, their heels dragging on the floor. Ford looks incredibly bored in the face as he's being dragged away, not even looking too angry. Squints on the other hand is still going a little berserk, flailing a bit as he's grabbed and looking furious, I have no doubt if he was let go he would have run right back at Ford. As Batman and Superman are dragged out of the Cafeteria, the students applaud the teachers, but I think a bit of that was for the show they just witnessed. 
The Meme Lord, Tino, and Redneck Memer take to their Chromebooks and the story is told to The Council, Sly Frog Fry screenshotting and compiling my short reaction messages into one image to be pinned, which it still is to this day. Tino claimed he felt bad, as well as a few others at his table, for not doing anything, as they were closer to Ford than we were.
== Legacy ==
This fight has lived on in Meme Council memory to many as THE fight during all of Abington. While The Milk Fight was the most famous fight before this, which occurred literally the day before, this one took the cake, being definitely the most powerful fight witnessed by the Class of 2021. By some in the Council, mostly by Meme Lord, the fight has been referenced to as 'Batman v Superman', simply due to the amount of force Ford was using against a rather significantly weaker opponent, and the popularity of the two fighters, both of which are very engrained in The Meme Council Lore.
Because of this fight, Squints was actually removed from The Council. A vote was not taken place, but it was unanimously agreed by memebers present that he could not be involved with The Council after this. Before the fight Squints had been inactive for a while anyways. Later, during one of the last interactions The Meme Lord had with Squints before he was moved to a new school, Squints actually asked for himself to be removed, not even aware he had been removed already. I suppose we all got what we wanted in the end.
Category:AHHS
Category:Events
Category:Fights
Category:2018