The Mind of a Sociopath

Will this be my great demise? I don’t specifically want it to be, I mean I’m not exactly done with everything I wanted to do. Even as I write this I can feel it ascending throughout my body. Its slimy hands, full of greed and deception eating away at the outer layer of my skin. You’d think that it might burn, but all I feel is an odd pleasure.
It’s a pleasure so unmistakable, the pleasure of pain. I feel it course through my body, like venom being injected into my blood through a needle. Oh, how wonderful it feels to just forget. Forget everything that’s happened, forget about the future, forget about my petty daily problems.
Oh, how awful it is to think of what I’ll become, to think of what will come next. How awful it will feel to know somewhere deep inside myself, that I’m missing a piece. The person I am now is going to hate it, but then again, I will be rid of all those nasty problems that plague my thoughts.
Either way, after tonight this wretched soul of mine will be no more. I will have broken through the thin line between light and dark. Which side I will have entered is still unknown to me, but perhaps that’s okay. Maybe I really don’t want to know. Maybe all this nonsense is just that; nonsense. Maybe there is no light and dark, maybe this thing is just my true nature. A nature that chooses to sleep for years on end at times, but never dies.
Its crooked smile is starting to find a place among my lips now, and its arms and legs are beginning to take control. It keeps whispering into my ear, even as I continue my little story, that none of this is real. Since I don’t know whether to do what it says or not, I have to oblige. For if my will is not strong enough, then it will take over.
I’d better finish this before I lose it. For whoever is reading, remember this; I am no longer who I was. I will not be abiding by any kind of law or rule, but instead only by my true impulse. My first victim will be whoever bumps me along my path. It most likely won’t be anything personal, I just can’t stop myself anymore. It has such an undeniable urge to kill.
It wants to kill everyone who it thinks are unworthy. It in itself is the demon within me, and it has birthed a killer.
Category:Mental Illness