Nintendo Bitch

Nintendo Bitch is the eighth episode of SBFW Campsite, and the eighth in season 1.
== Transcript ==
(Episode begins with Purple playing Minecraft on his Nintendo Switch)
Purple: Minecraft has to be one of the best games ever made. It’s even better on the Switch.
(Jasbre suddenly appears in the window)
Jasbre: Are you seriously saying that version of Minecraft is good? THAT’S THE WINDOWS 10 VERSION! IT SUCKS ASS!
Purple: Hey hey, calm down, Jas, I thought you were on campbreak anyways.
Jasbre: I came back just to say how much dick the Windows 10 version sucks.
Purple: Not as much as my mom gets. (smirks)
Jasbre: Uhhhhhh….. (walks away) I’m gonna go on wikibreak for an extra month or two… tell the campers.
Purple: That was weird. Anyways, back to mah game.
(He hears a knock on the door)
Purple: Who is it this time?
FoxyGrandpa: Your buddy.
Purple: Matchy, or Crazy?
FoxyGrandpa: Neither.
Purple: Umm… I don’t know... (he hesitates for a few seconds and then opens the door for him)
FoxyGrandpa: Hi Purple!
Purple: Hi? Who are you?
FoxyGrandpa: Why I’m FoxyGrandpa of course! Can I play on your Nintendo Switch?
Purple: Umm sure?
(FoxyGrandpa comes in and immediately starts playing Super Mario Odyssey.)
Purple: Hey, that’s my save file!
FoxyGrandpa: I’m sure that it’ll be absolutely fine if I just play on it!
Purple: But I’ve spent a month working on it!
FoxyGrandpa: And you’re only halfway through? Wow, so slow, so so slow.
Purple: Grrrr. 
(Purple goes to his room and FoxyGrandpa beats the game)
FoxyGrandpa: Hey Purple, I beat it!
Purple: But I was supposed to!
FoxyGrandpa: Yeah, whatever. I also took the liberty of beating some more games, so you’re welcome.
(Purple calls an emergency meeting with Bot, Lock, Golf, SeemsGood, CrazySponge, and Matchy)
Lock: Purple, it’s twelve in the morning what could you possibly need.
Purple: FoxyGrandpa took over my switch!
(Everyone except Bot leaves)
Bot: What do you mean, took over?
Purple: He beat nearly all of my games! Except Minecraft, he hates it for some reason.
Bot: Minecraft? That game died five years ago.
Purple: Trust me, it ain’t dead. Matchy still plays it too.
Bot: Oh, please. (Pulls her phone out of her pocket to play some Fortnite)
Purple: Are yo- never mind.
Bot: Seriously though, you need to do something about it.
Purple: Like what?
Bot: I dunno, maybe ban him from the camp?
Purple: A little harsh, don’t you think?
Bot: Not really. (whispering) Jasbre broke my Windows 10 computer when he came over once.
Purple: Windows hater.
Bot: And that’s why everyone hates him. Plus he’s a dick potato.
Purple: Yeah. He’s on campbreak, so we can talk all the shit about him we like.
Bot: Eh… I’m saving it for Labor Day. It’s labor for my mouth.
Purple: Should I propose a block?
Bot: Sure. I’d support.
Purple: Woo! I’ll do it now.
(Purple goes to the main cabin and invites everyone there)
FoxyGrandpa: Oooh, my first time here!
Purple: And your last time here motherf**ker.
Jack: PURPLE! CHILL THE HELL OUT! 
Golf: Yeah, he’s new!
Bot: Well I mean he was here last month.
(Cocaine falls from Bot’s pants)
Bot: I SWEAR I’M WORKING ON IT.
(SeemsGood shoots a glare across the table at Bot)
Bot: Anyways, Purple why did you invite us all here?
Purple: I want FoxyGrandpa gone from camp.
(Everyone stares blankly at Purple except Polar who is devouring a bear claw)
Purple: What? He ruined games for my Nintendo Switch!
Bot: Sounds like a Nintendo Bitch. Heh get it?
(Matchy throws a chair at Bot)
Matchy: SHUT THE F**K UP BOT!
Bot: Can’t make me.
Matchy: (inhales) Boi. I ain’t gonna punch you cuz you aren’t Jasbre.
Bot: Aight.
Purple: Hey hey, listen up guys. I propose that we have FoxyGrandpa gone from this camp. One day he just showed up to my door out of the blue, and beat all my Switch games.
Matchy: Oh. Wait what the f**k?! He needs to leave now!
Bot: What he said.
Purple: So, who supports, neutrals, and opposes? Raise your hand now if you support. (Matchy and Bot raise their hands) Who is neutral? (Polar, SeemsGood, and Jack raise their hands) Who opposes? (Everyone else raises their hands) Okay, so it looks like this proposal is a failure.
FoxyGrandpa: All I did was play on your Nintendo Switch!
Purple: GOD! HE FINISHED ALL OF MY GAMES, 100%!
Jack: Yeah and?
Purple: YOU GUYS WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND. Except Bong, she might.
Bong: (looks up from her phone) What? Why am I here?
Golf: Shhhhh, this just got interesting.
Bong: Okay whatever.
Purple: Fine, if you won’t listen to me, I know someone who will!
(Purple drives up to Dan’s cabin and knocks on the door)
Dan: Come in!
Purple: Dang, he doesn’t even know who I am and he lets me in. (he enters)
Dan: What do you want, Purple?
(Purple explains the whole situation)
Dan: What the hell is wrong with that Foxy guy? He just showed up out of nowhere and beat all your games?
Purple: Yeah.
Dan: He needs to be removed immediately.
Purple: I made a proposal, but only two people supported.
Dan: I’ll get them to support alright.
Purple: But isn’t that against wiki policy- (Dan pushes him out the door)
Dan: Don’t worry about it. Just go home and buy a new game.
Purple: Alrighty then.
Dan: See, crisis averted!
(Purple goes back to his cabin and his Nintendo Switch is on fire, and he sees FoxyGrandpa sitting on his gaming chair)
Purple: WHAT THE HELL?!
FoxyGrandpa: I’m sorry, I was buying too much stuff on digital download!
Purple: I’m. Going. To. Kill. YOU!
(Purple grabs a knife from his kitchen and chases FoxyGrandpa into Crazy’s cabin)
Crazy: Purple! FoxyGrandpa! What are you doing here?
FoxyGrandpa: Purple snapped! Run for your life!
(Purple lunges at Crazy but slams into an open door)
Purple: Oh shit now they got away and I’m going to get reported!
(Crazy and FoxyGrandpa run to Polar’s house)
FoxyGrandpa: Open the door! Open the damn door!
Polar: Alright, alright! (opens the door) What do you want? I’m very busy.
Crazy: Purple’s after us!
Polar: What for?
Crazy: FoxyGrandpa beat all of Purple’s Switch games. 100%.
Polar: Oh. Well there goes his valuable game time.
FoxyGrandpa: Tell Purple I’m sorry and I’ll restore his progress.
Crazy: Can you even do that?
FoxyGrandpa: Yeah, with plot convenience.
Polar: Okay.
(Purple walks in)
Purple: Hey guys, I don’t have a knife!
Crazy: Are you sure?
Purple: Totally!
(Purple stabs Polar in the arm)
Polar: HOLY SHIT! PURPLE, I WANT YOU OFF OF THE CAMPGROUNDS NOW!
Purple: I-I, I’m sorry FoxyGrandpa. I now see that this went too far.
FoxyGrandpa: Well I’m sorry for breaking your Nintendo Switch.
Purple: Wait, what?
FoxyGrandpa: Good thing all the progress is on this trusty SD card (hold the 2 TB SD card)
Purple: Oh, phew.
FoxyGrandpa: And your progress is restored to how it was before. With plot convenience.
Purple: Cool! Thanks.
FoxyGrandpa: This ain’t my first encountering of this stuff.
Polar: Wait, it isn’t?
CrazySponge: (thinks so hard his body turns into a diamond)
Purple: Well, all’s well that ends well. Foxy isn’t leaving camp, but I am.
Polar: No you aren’t. You apologized and stuff.
Purple: Phew.
Camilo: (suddenly popping up, wearing a pink trench coat) I’m back for the fifteenth time!
Polar: Ahh! Sock! (sprays Camilo with pepper spray)
Camilo: Ah! My eyes! (runs away)
FoxyGrandpa: Who was that?
Polar: It’s a long time sock. He… or she… has the current sock record of 15.
CrazySponge: And I’m gonna beat that record.
Polar: What the f-
(Episode ends)
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