How to really survive a horror movie

Click here to see Imockery's version
Click here for Scary for Kid's version
#Always watch your back.
#Keep quiet whilst hiding(especially in a place where they least think to look).
#Don't take a shower(If you've seen the shower scene from "Psycho", you'll know exactly why this is here).
#Don't be a jerk...or just downright annoying(it'll just make your death that much more satisfying).
#Don't taunt the main antagonist(s).
#Stock up, preferably on weapons, building supplies & foods that are healthy & don't need refridgeration(especially against a force that usually comes in large numbers, but can be killed, like zombies).
#Mirrors: avoid them at all costs.
#Don't preform any rituals that involve summoning a dangerous force(unless you just want to die).
#Try to keep a very safe distance from the evil force.
#Don't have sex.
#Never go off by yourself. Instead, try to stay with a group.
#Stay away from dark places such as basements, or places of the monster's origin.
==Vampires(the blood sucking horror of the night)==
Vampires are a well known enemy throughout the horror media. They are often human-like creatures with pale skin that exist by drinking the blood of living creatures, most prominent pray being humans. They drink the blood of living creatures by biting them, which in some cases also turns the unfortunate victem into another vampire. They are also shown as being able to transform into other creatures such as bats & don't cast reflections in mirrors. If that wasn't enough, they can also hypnotise you using their eyes, leaving you as easy prey. They are unholy creatures of the night, so they can be repelled with religious objects such as crucifixs, rosary & holy water(sometimes even running water). They also tend to have far more sensitive noses then normal humans, which makes garlic another common repellent due to its pungent odor. There are numerous ways to kill vampire, such as decapitation, tricking them into going into direct sunlight or sticking a wooden stake through their hearts.
*Chupacabra: Usually taking the appearence of reptilic kangaroos or canines suffering from mange, these vicious creatures prefer to drink blood out of livestock, so they are normally found where livestock is plentiful. Supposedly, they aren't weakened by the things that can keep mythological vampires away & aren't destroyed by sunlight. They can be killed by standard weaponery, but they are hard to catch because they usually only stalk livestock when their aren't any humans on gaurd duty(such as at night, where most people are asleep).
*Aswang: Humorous name aside, these ghoulish creatures are no laughing matter. They replace the cadavers that they eat with the trunks of a banana tree. They can shapeshift into different forms such as that of a regular human being. They have great strength which they use to their advantage & bat-like wings that they use to fly. They don't like the smell of garlic or the saltiness of salt, making both items good repellents. It is also said that they are weak to holy water.
*Jiangshi: A japanese hopping vampire that doesn't suck your blood, but your qi(life essence). They usually appear to be rotting corpses with stiff limbs that forces them to move via hopping. They can be detered with mirrors(they are scared of their own reflections) & items made of wood from the peach tree(peaches are said to be the essence of the 5 elements).
==Werewolves(the half-man, half-wolf)==
Another well known horror icon, a werewolf is a human who becomes a violent & aggressive horror with hair that covers their entire body when the full moon sets in. They are often said to be far bigger threats than vampires because they are immune to most of the things that can deter or kill vampires & physically, they are outclass regular humans in every aspect. They can be detered with wolfsbane(which means werewolf repellent) & killed with silver.
==Ghosts(the spirit)==
A ghost is the transparent spirit of a person or animal that are trapped between the dimensions of the living & the dead, having never migrated to the afterlife. Their reasons for staying behind after death varies from ghost to ghost, but it usually involves some unfinished business which a person can do to allow them to migrate the the realm of the dead. Most of them can physically interact with their enviroments & many of them enjoy scaring living creatures. They cannot be killed(due to already being dead). The only way to get rid of a ghost(besides doing a certain task for it) is by exorcism.
*Poltergeist: Normally lacks a visible form & normally makes its presence known by throwing stuff around. Unlike most ghosts which are connected to a certain place, a poltergeist is connected to a certain person that it will relentlesly follow.
==Witches(the magical terror)==
Any evil creature that can cast a number of supernatural spells that they can use to their advantage. Unfortunatly, they mostly use their spells to spread chaos & panic. They can be sneaky & pretend to be helping before revealing their true colors. One way of killing them is by lighting them on fire.
==Zombies(the walking dead)==
Chemical accident, satanic rituals, the most devestating disease since the bubonic plauge...Any of these can cause a zombie apocolypse. While most zombies can be killed with standard weapons, their biggest strength is that they tend to come in huge numbers. They can't be reasoned with, since their brain functions are normally limited to moaning, stumbling & feasting on the living.
*Strong zombie: Boasting large amounts of muscle mass, these zombies can often throw cars out of their way, swing telephone poles around like clubs, uproot roads & even break through stone walls. They are usually slow, but can take tons of damage before dying.
*Fast zombie: Usually not walking corpses, but infected humans, these zombies will activly run towards any living humans that they see.
*Smart zombie: Easily one of the most lethal types, these zombies still have enough brain function to use standard weapons among other tasks normally impossible for normal zombies. If you're unlucky, you might encounter a zombie that is smart enough to build giant robots.
*Dancing zombie: They dance while chasing survivors. What makes this type effective is their coordination.
===Other sources for surviving the zombie apocalypse===
*The Chobble
*MB Time Traveler
*Zombie Wiki
*Media Saver
Category:Keener
Category:Gold-plated articles
Category:Horror