Exposing SpongeJared

Jared “SpongeJared” Reinhardt is a stomach-churning piece of fuck. Everyone he has involved himself with has been made miserable. I, WoodsTheArtist, started this document to bring light to what he has become. His victims, along with my close friend, ImTortellini, will be disclosing their experiences in this exposè. If you ever have the displeasure of coming across SpongeJared, contact the proper authorities. Do not fall for his bullshit. 
OliverEst0 - Hi, I’m Oliver, and I used to be friends with SpongeJared since we were 17. Before I get into my experience with him, I want to make it clear that he isn’t just some dumb kid on the internet. He is now 26 years old, and he has been offered help as far as the eye can see. He refused it, and instead embraced his obsession. 
SpongeJared is, as you would’ve guessed by his name, a fan of SpongeBob. Not just any fan, though. He took the character so seriously, that he now thinks he is him. At first, when we became friends, he seemed like a pretty nice guy. Someone I could play games with, talk to online, whatever comes to mind. I used to draw SpongeBob stuff with him, and it was quite nice.
Then, when he turned 22, he began to speak in this weird, nasally, high-pitched voice akin to the character. It was awkward talking with him in voice chats after we moved schools, but I tried not to think much of it. I thought he was simply getting sillier, probably from someone else’s influence. I later found that was not the case. 
He started uncontrollably laughing in the most horribly-timed, uncomfortable situations. I know that the next thing I’m about to bring up is out of nowhere, but it’s one of the many examples of how immature and childish he’d act over serious moments. I was diagnosed with colon cancer when I turned 23. I managed to beat it in the long run, but when I still had it, I vented about it to the people I genuinely cared for. One of those people was Jared.
Unlike the other friends I had, who were there for me and ensured me that I can get through this, Jared laughed when I called and told him. He had the most shrilly, loud cackle I think I’ve ever heard come out of a human’s throat. I was holding in tears when I asked him why he was laughing, and then he laughed harder. I could hear him repeatedly punching something in the background, maybe a wall or some sort of object, but I’m not too sure. 
I haven’t spoken to him since.
Anonymous - I am Jared’s driving instructor. He spoke to me in a weird tone, but I won’t get into that as it isn’t important. He failed on the first test for running over several traffic cones, but I felt like I could give him a chance to retry. After all, no one’s perfect at using a vehicle. I’ve made some mistakes myself in the past.
When his second test came, he came into the driver’s seat, shaking erratically. I asked him if he’s okay and if he needed help with something, and then he turned to me. Not even exaggerating here; he was missing a tooth. He wasn’t missing any the day before. I asked him if something had happened, and told him that he can talk to me if he wants. He kept insisting not to worry about it.
As soon as he buckled up, I asked him what he should do first. He proceeded to put the car in drive with his foot on the brake, and then asked me if he should “floor it.” Do I even need to express why you should never do that in a car, especially with someone in the passenger seat?
When I told him no, he continuously clarified if he should, as if he couldn’t hear what I was saying. After I said no the fourth time, he slammed his foot on the gas pedal and nearly, NEARLY crashed us into a tree. I quickly activated my emergency brake, which thankfully stopped the car, but led to my head recoiling and hitting the glove compartment. I had a big bruise on my forehead for a week.
I yelled at him to get the fuck out of my car, and to never come back. He then burst into tears and ran off, but not before trying to manipulate me into feeling bad for him by crying about how he’ll “never get his license in a million years.”
Jared could’ve possibly ended my life if I didn’t have that emergency brake.
MalorieVA - SpongeJared is my ex-boyfriend. I met him at my college, and he was the first person to tell me he loved me directly. It made me genuinely happy to know that someone cared. Before he told me that, he was being as nice as can be to me, which didn’t necessarily make me uncomfortable. People are built differently, right?
He then showed me his true colors. 
At the time we started dating, he told me about how trolls riled him up online, to the point where some people impersonated him. It was very personal right off the bat, but I felt bad, and told him to stay away from them, and not give them the attention that they want. He didn’t listen. When I came to his house, I would find him constantly screaming at people over his computer, over the most basic things he could ignore, like if they called him fat or stupid. At times, he even tried to get me involved by barking at me to come and defend him.
Whenever he didn’t get me involved though, I would pet his cat. It had black and white fur, and was quite loving. I wish I could’ve brought the cat out of there when I had the chance.
One day, I decided that I had enough and I told him. I wanted to break up. His reaction was something I’d usually expect. He started to complain about how he did everything he could to show how much he loved me, how I’ve “given so much back” in return, how I’m the only person that ever helped him, etcetera. I informed him that he’s a grown-ass man, living alone and constantly roping me into drama online.
Then, he just kind of stared me down for a moment. The more I told him the truth, and the more I told him to seek help, the more angry he got. He then pinned me to the wall and pressed his head against mine to where it gave me a headache. I tried to get him off me, throwing as many punches as I could, but he didn’t even flinch. He didn’t move a muscle. His head didn’t even jerk sideways when I hit him in the face. It was like I was fighting a statue. That’s when he said something.
“Of course you’d use that to solve your problems. What should I expect from a talking weasel?”
I am now in an apartment with a decent-paying job. I didn’t tell people about what he did, for years, because he threatened me with murder if I did. He also somehow found my Discord tag, and told me he would end his cat too if I exposed him. I wish I could’ve gotten the poor thing out of that hellscape when I had the chance, but he tried to ram me into his wall the second I attempted to take his cat with me. 
I am not afraid anymore. I’m tired of staying silent. Just to help people be able to recognize him further, he is 5 '11 with blonde hair, he’s Caucasian, he’s unshaved, and he’s missing a tooth. If he sounds like SpongeBob alongside all of that, then you know it’s him.
ImTortellini - I met Jared at a restaurant. I thought he was quite the funny guy at first, and he seemed to be into SpongeBob as much as I was, so we exchanged Discord tags. We talked for quite a bit, and I even invited him to my friend group.
After some time, he started weirding out my friends in voice calls by yelling and screaming. Every time we played games together, he’d rage and start punching his desk. When he was proven wrong about something, he’d scream at us. The final straw that led to me kicking him from the friend group was when he told Woods to kill himself during an altercation. To give context, Woods was telling him that acting like a cartoon character wasn’t normal in the slightest and he went apeshit. 
I decided to take a nap to clear my head and get me in the right mindset before I told him that I didn’t want to be his friend anymore. I got into a Discord call with him, and made it clear that his behavior was unacceptable and I sincerely hoped he gets the help he needs.
He went silent for a moment, and then I heard him clear his throat. He then spoke to me.
“That’s alright. People disappoint me anyway. Right, Gare Bear?”
He then turned on his camera, and I saw something that made me want to vomit at first sight. I recorded the audio, but not the video, and to this day, I’m thankful I didn’t. I don’t want people to see this. I saw the corpse of his FUCKING CAT LYING ON HIS LAP, AND HE WAS PETTING IT. The poor thing’s eyes were dangling over his leg like clackers, and I saw countless grubs clung onto its fur. 
I hyperventilated. I couldn’t stop freaking out. Before I could even tell him I was going to call the cops, he hunched over and hung up the call. The last thing I saw was his cat falling off of his knee when he leaned forward. 
I contacted the police and shared his full name (I knew it from when he dropped his wallet on the way out of that restaurant we first met at) along with his appearance. I couldn’t stop freaking out that day, and I couldn’t breathe right. I didn’t know what to do. What else was I supposed to do at that point but wait for the cops to arrive at my house?
It took hours upon hours, but an investigator finally showed up to my place when night came. He told me that one of their officers said they would go to his home and investigate over the comms, and he never came back to the station. Police were sent over to Jared’s location after looking through some background information, and not only was he not there, but the officer that went wasn’t there either.
I didn’t get a wink of sleep that night, nor for the next three weeks. In the middle of those sleepless weeks, I was informed of another thing by the same investigator that came to my house. Apparently, forensics only found one piece of evidence containing the fingerprints of both the guys they were looking for.
It was a half-full bottle of bubble solution.
----
Category:Computers and Internet
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Lafawnda's Reading Hour
Category:Animals
Category:Disappearances
Category:Weekly pasta
ImTortellini voiced by Voiceless Defender
Category:Murder
Category:Discord dms
Category:Audio
Category:Rant