No-Life

No-Life is an eleven years old boy from Stool, Westville and an important character from Spyman's Cosmos Universe. He is the main protagonist of his series - No-Life specials - and probably one of the most, if not the most popular character. His real name is unknown and will never be revealed. No-Life always carries a keyboard with him as a weapon. 
The most iconic thing about No-Life is that he's one of the few people who speak with a voice of some sort, instead of a speech buble. His voice is none other than the one of Leopold Slikk, also known as Angry German Kid - a popular meme from the early years of the Internet. However, due to the hero of the meme being German, whenever No-Life speaks, subtitles appear, translating his words into whatever he's supposed to say, ignoring that's not what the voice is saying in German.
== Biography ==
=== Early life ===
No-Life was born in late 2009 as the third child of his parents, after his oldest brother Henry and his twin sister Otillie, who's older by four minutes. Some years later he also got younger siblings - twin brothers Alex and James and the youngest one - Rose.
In first years of his life, No-Life was be a regular boy, behaving well and being nice to all people. However everything changed when he was six. He got a smartphone as a Christmas present and soon became very addicted to it. He got connected to the device so much that he started screaming instead of speaking normally. Later, he also would get a computer, which made his addiction even worse. Because of spending so much time on electronic devices and video games he started to have no life and that's where his name came from. It became so popular that everyone, even his parents, started using it. Only his family knows his actual name.
=== Us vs. Us ===
The moment summer of 2017 began, No-Life expressed his happiness with his usual screaming, the happy one this one. He told his mom he wants to go to Kalahari desert in Africa, but realized he and his family are about to go on vacation to Florida again. He got so mad that he decided to go to Kalahari on foot and actually did it.
After a day or two, No-Life got to the Kalahari desert and there he stumbled upon a weird tank with eagle's wings. That was Arthur, who was on one of his missions. The boy was infuriated, as the tank was blocking his way further and besides he was hoping for relaxing holidays away from everyone. The two quickly got into an argument.
The verbal fight went on for a very long time, until No-Life got so angry that he started jumping like crazy, which lead to him accidentally discovering a tunnel to BSoD's Kalahari base. This came in handy later, when Spyman's Cosmos arrived with an intention of battling BSoD. After a hard landing No-Life instantly met Copper. No-Life roasted his laser gun, which made Copper angry and shoot the boy. However he was revealed to be immune to that and the laser bounced off him. Then, No-Life told Copper to move, to which the frightened helicopter didn't argue. Later No-Life came across Dr Saturn fighting his evil clone. For some reason he didn't like him and beat him with his keyboard. The real Dr Saturn was very thankful for that, but the computer addicted boy didn't stop on that and said it was Saturn's turn. Unlike his clone, Saturn made it through, but later had a black eye. After this, No-Life was the first one to get to BSoD. He was impressed, because of after all - BSoD is a big computer. No-Life was wondering if he could play League of Legends on him, but something went wrong and he accidentally turned off BSoD's system. Because of that he started destroying BSoD from anger. 
After the battle, when Spyman's Cosmos has already left, No-Life was seen still in BSoD's base, being approached and captured by Commander Bus who was still standing.
=== Hurricane Inbound 3/4 ===
No-Life's role in the Hurricane Inbound series wasn't big. He just made a brief, non-speaking cameo in part 3, where he was seen in a cage in BSoD's base (following the events of Us vs. Us). Commander Bus was guarding him, commenting that the boy has been annoying as usual.
Sometime after that, but before A Christmas Carol by No-Life, No-Life would escape BSoD's base without the help of Spyman's Cosmos. It is unclear how, as it has never been mentioned yet. However, it doesn't seem to be an impossible thing, as No-Life is capable of doing things far beyond regular human's abilities.
=== A Christmas Carol by No-Life ===
On Christmas 2017 No-Life was annoyed by the fact that it wasn't snowing, but with the help of an unknown magical force from behind the fourth wall, he managed to make it snow during the holidays. His happiness wasn't meant to last long though, as he was soon asked by his mom to come downstairs, because his grandmother has just arrived for the Christmas Eve supper. No-Life didn't want to spend time with his old relative, which was met with his grandmother's anger. Finally, when No-Life came down, he decided to sit in the living room and watch television. However after turning it on, it turned out that the movie Home Alone was playing. This made No-Life even angrier as he (and not only him) was sick of Polish broadcasting channels playing that film every year during holidays. Because of that, he took a radio out of nowhere and decided to listen to some music, only to find out the radio station was just playing "Last Christmas", a song that is also repeated many times in the season and is another thing that makes him mad.
When No-Life finally joined his family on the supper he was ready to eat some food, but when he looked at it, he instantly got disgusted and said it doesn't look tasty. Because of that his father gave him a second warning this evening, threatening that if he won't behave better, he will spend Christmas in his room. Two hours later, the time for opening presents has finally come. No-Life was particularly happy and was hoping he got a Playstation. To his surprise, when he opened the first present, it wasn't the console, but some socks. After getting angry and behaving bad for the third time, his mother told him to go to his room.
After midnight No-Life was awaken by some manly voice. When he opened his eyes, he saw a blue figure standing by his bed. It was a strange man with a soldier hat. The soldier introduced himself as the Ghost of the Past Christmas. The ghost used a visual representation of No-Life's sixth Christmas - the time when he got his first smartphone and became addicted to technology and games. No-Life replied that he remembers what happened and doesn't need a reminding, but the ghost told him that he will understand everything later on and then strangely disappeared. At first No-Life thought it was just a weird dream, but after a few seconds, another blue man would appear - Ghost of the Present Christmas. The ghost began from presenting his powers, showing No-Life some kind of time-window, from which he could see the supper he had just a few hours before. This made the boy even more confused. When the new ghost was trying to explain everything, No-Life told him to buzz off. The ghost then started asking him if he's ashamed of that behaviour and everything else he has done this Christmas and No-Life replied that he does not regret anything. Finally, the ghost said he will in time and before he left, he showed him the crazy face he'll have in five seconds, which after that time was confirmed to be a true prediction. 
Finally, the last ghost appeared and unlike his predecessors - went straight to the topic. He said that if No-Life doesn't behave better, at least on Christmas, he will be forced to die soon. This got No-Life so scared that he sweared he will be a better person. After that, Ghost of the Future Christmas turned back time to the morning of that Christmas Eve, making No-Life the only person in the world to remember the original day. At first No-Life acted like he did the first time, commenting that there's no snow, but he quickly realized that he has started anew and it actually was snowing.
From How No-Life Stole Christmas it's known that No-Life indeed started behaving better and even made his family impressed for once.
=== In Search of the Scarlet Griffin ===
During the summer of 2018, No-Life and his family were set to go for vacation in Australia. No-Life was exclusively mad, because his parents took away all of his devices and he was forced to wait for hours on the airport. Finally, he snapped and decided to look for a computer. He did find one - used by one of the airport workers. Despite that, the boy quickly ran towards it and pushed away the worker, only to find out that the only game on said computer was Solitaire. Being yelled at by his father, No-Life returned to his seat in the waiting lounge and expressed his hope for the plane to arrive soon. Unlucky for him, it was then when a speaker announced that the plane to Stool will arrive with a three hours delay. 
Eventually, No-Life and his family arrived in Australia and were exploring Syndey National Park the following day. At one point No-Life was dying from boredom so much that he decided to get away. After going out of the observational area, he wished God would take him back home and to his surprise, it happened, though not by God's work, but Joseph and Mad Playz's from Spyman's Cosmos, as they were just testing their teleport. No-Life was surprised to find himself in Phil's Mansion and watched the members of the gang, to finally spot Charles holding a camera. Because of that, he thought it was one of the pranking trio's doings and decided to attack them. He punched Caddict and jumped at Charles, only to phase through and land behind him. 
Wondering what happened, he spotted PCus and immediately rushed to the computer to unleash his joy. He tried searching for something he wanted to watch, when he was stopped by Mangle and Pankid. When No-Life complained that he would rather come back to his family, the latter told him to calm down and said they could do so, asking the scientists for confirmation. Joseph said it was possible and told No-Life he would be back in Australia soon, when No-Life started arguing and saying he was in Austria. Mad tried to correct him, but the boy insisted on sending him to Austria, which Mad did. No-Life was then beamed off there and spent a few hours under a hill, unleashing his rage, as he wasn't in "Austria". 
After that time, some people stumbled upon No-Life and were disturbed by his rage, warning the ones that were going in his direction, which turned out to be none other than the Journey Squad. They met up with No-Life and Phil curiously asked how did he get there, so the boy explained what happened in his usual angry manner. Thanks to that, Spy realized that Mad and Jospeh's machine was somewhat working, while Dr Saturn pointed out to No-Life that he was actually in Austria in Australia. However, No-Life ignored it and decided to continue his rage by punching the hill. This one punch was the final one that caused the rocks to slide and reveal the main entrance to what turned out to be BSoD's base, which the Squad was searching for. 
Soon, they all entered the base and No-Life ran first towards the main hall. When he finally arrived, he interrupted BSoD himself in his attempt to kill archaeologist Jenny Brown and was amazed by the size of the computer. But when he recognized him as "the computer from Kalahari", he punched the central box, only to be electrocuted and then punched away by a giant boxing glove. He was laying on the ground for some time, until Copper and Jack Jester surrounded Spyman's Cosmos. Seeing them in danger and hearing Copper say that the villains wanted to conquer the world, the boy decided to do some good for once and stopped him from shooting the gang. After a short fight and BSoD activating the self-destruct process, No-Life escaped from the base, along everyone else. 
No-Life went with the Journey Squad to the Phalanx facility, as he didn't have anywhere else to go. For the most part of the next day, he was quiet, but when Dr Saturn shouted at everyone, because he constantly couldn't tell something to Alice, the boy commented it, that the gang will keep their eyes closed for that, while always being mad at him for screaming. 
When Phil was summarizing the plan, OkiWan asked where exactly on Nisipoulis was The Scarlet Griffin located and Jenny answered, talking about its temple in the tallest mountain. No-Life then interrupted her, which annoyed both her and Oki and the latter asked why was he still even by their side. No-Life mentioned how he still cares about the world's fate despite all. He also pointed out saving Cosmos' lives and that they should be thankful, but OkiWan said this didn't erase his previous sins and told him to go home. The boy then broke down, talking about how he wouldn't want to play games, knowing he wouldn't be able to soon, that his family didn't even notice his disappearance and that he just wanted to belong somewhere and actually admired the Cosmos. 
However, OkiWan didn't buy that and turned away from him, while Phil continued talking. When he mentioned that one of their tasks would be to rescue Spy, Oki said that he wasn't keen on that, after he left them alone at BSoD's base, to which No-Life added that he hated Spy and that he was fat. 
Hours later, No-Life and the Journey Squad parachuted from the Phalanx jet over Nisipoulis. However, No-life didn't actually have a parachute, yet landed on the ground perfectly fine, taking out his keyboard and preparing to fight a few Gun henchmen. This caught the attention of Jack, who complained that the boy was supposedly neutral. Phil then said that they apparently convinced him by saying the Gang are big fans of sports and showed No-Life smashing the already dead henchmen even more. Later, after BSoD took control of The Scarlet Griffin, No-Life was the only one not affected by the mind control ray. He called out BSoD because of that, but seeing how everyone was becoming mindless and had their energy stolen, No-Life started getting them out of the trance. Once he finished, Oki immediately noticed his job and No-Life nodded to him, to say that he actually did save the Cosmos specifically. 
Later, No-Life most likely was fighting Blue Screen's constructs and eventually witnessed all of them disappearing. After the insane adventure, he went straight back home, not joining the Cosmos on their party at Phil's Mansion. Instead, he waited for his family's arrival and was genuinely happy to see them when they came back. But as his parents were used to the boy's rude behaviour, they didn't care, with No-Life's dad literally pushing him away. This once again sparked anger in No-Life, causing his another attempt of change to come to nought. 
=== No-Life's Home Alone ===
On December 23, 2018 No-Life was woke up by his dad, strangely using the same words as the Ghost of the Past Christmas a year earlier. The boy got so scared that he actually thought his dad was the ghost. When he screamed, his dad rushed him to pack his things instead, as they were about to go to Paris, to visit their relative, Aunt Florence, on Christmas. No-Life complained that they are leaving the country during surprisingly snowy Christmas, which lead to a small argument with his dad. Eventually No-Life got up, but he wouldn't pack any of his things. Instead, he was looking through his window at the snow falling down and thinking how many other, much cooler things he could do right now. Ultimately however, he decided to watch television. After some time, his mom interrupted it by turning off the TV cable. She rushed him again to pack his things, adding that his grandma and grandpa were about to arrive. Right when she was saying it, they did arrive and were let into the house by No-Life's dad. Unluckily for No-Life he was saying an offensive thing about them. This all lead to his father telling him to go to the attic and wait until he's called to walk down.
No-Life was waiting for what seemed to be the eternity, so he decided to walk down himself, only to realize that his family has left for the airport without him. Realizing he can do whatever he wants, his extacy began. 
Late evening, when he was watching the TV again, the doorbell interrupted him. He immediately went to the door, thinking it was the Playstation console he has order. However, it was actually a pair of criminals - Tobias Sanders and Larry Mealey - who thought the house has been abandoned for Christmas and had an intention to rob it. Some way No-Life figured out they are robbers and thought they want to steal his valuable things. He decided that he won't allow them and started defending the house. Pretty soon, Tobias was climbing up the front wall of No-Life's house with the help of plungers. No-Life dealt with it easily and hit the robber with his keyboard, making him fall down to the ground. At some point off-screen he also layed down some bricks on the floor around the back door. This trap worked according to plan, making Tobias slip on them when entering the house. When both robbers stood up again and ran towards No-Life, he used his potato gun and shot them both, hitting Larry in his crotch and Tobias into his mouth. While the criminals were weakened again, No-Life ran upstairs to his room and closed the door, on which he put a can of paint. When he heard the enemies approaching, he played a scene from an old cop movie, in which a policeman was telling some criminals to give up. Despite that, Larry has carefully opened the door, making the red paint falling and splashing onto his hair. While he backed off and had a tense chat with Tobias, No-Life slowly approached them and knocked them down.
After binding the robbers and trapping them in his room, No-Life went downstairs to once more watch TV. The fate wanted Home Alone movie to be broadcasted again, which this year was also met with No-Life's hate. However he realized that the adventure he just had was similar to the one the protagonist of said picture had. When the movie ended, No-Life remembered about Tobias and Larry and went to check up on them, only to find the room empty. He looked out of the window and for his luck - the robbers have just escaped and weren't that far. He immediately started chasing them, mainly because they took his computer. No-Life almost managed to catch them when they were about to start their van parked a few blocks away. They got so scared that they did start the car and seemingly crushed No-Life. Some magical way though No-Life managed to climb under the van and go to the back, hanging to its door. After jumping inside, both Tobias and Larry came to him, surprised that he's still alive. No-Life quickly realized though that nobody's driving the vehicle, so he got his stuff and jumped out of the car, before it crashed into a wall. 
No-Life was happy to make it all out alive when he met with the police, which was nearby. He met Policeman Henry who asked him if he had anything to do with the crash. No-Life lied that the criminals have kidnapped him and that they were driving under the influence of alcohol, when the other police officer pointed out that the two criminals are Tobias Sanders and Larry Mealey, who were most wanted criminals in town. Policeman Henry quickly thanked No-Life for catching them and said that he deserves the prize for them - 50,000 zlotys. However he was first supposed to go to the police station and give a report on the situation. After a few hours, it was morning already and No-Life arrived at his home. To his surprise, he met his family there and was informed that they came back because of bad weather conditions. When they entered the house and saw the mess No-Life has left after battling the robbers, his parents grounded him for the whole year, for which No-Life reacted with a very loud scream.
=== How No-Life Stole Christmas ===
One year later, on December 23 of 2019, No-Life was playing on his computer like usual. He has just lost a game when something hit his room's window, making him even more annoyed. When he looked out, he saw his sister Otillie and her friends, trying to make No-Life come down and throw snowballs with them. After No-Life rudely declined another snowball landed in his mouth, making him look funny. One of the kids decided to take a picture of him, which finally made him snap. He jumped out of the window, landing safely on a snowdrift and wanted to attack the kid with his keyboard, only to be stopped by a rain of snowballs. When he finally punched the kid, he was yelled at by his mother, who grounded him. 
After some time in his room someone knocked on the door. No-Life, who was still angry, jumped with his keyboard at the intruder. He barely stopped the attack when he realized it was his father. His infuriated parent said he will take away his computer and commented how he started behaving bad on Christmas again, referencing his sudden change in behaviour two years earlier. Then, No-Life was given a task of cleaning the house while being left home alone. At first he didn't want to do it, but eventually he surprisingly started the task, only to stop after five minutes. It was then when No-Life noticed presents under the Chirstmas Tree, one day before they should be there. He thought his parents exceptionally bought presents too early. This of course made him unpack them, but after opening the first box, a huge slime explosion hit him. No-Life was confused at first, but then saw a black plasma appear on the wall opposite to him. A black ghost emerged, reaching for a hidden camera inside the Christmas Tree and going away. No-Life quickly went out of the house and found Charles, along with Caddict and Lenny, hidden behind a bush. He started chasing them, only to stop after a few seconds when his parents' car stopped next to him. It turned out that his parents forgot to take some things for the Christmas Fair and when they entered the house and found the mess, they gave No-Life an even worse ban, despite him swearing that it's not his fault. Locked in the room again, No-Life was thinking how the entire passed year was a fiasco only for him. He decided that he will at least make Christmas miserable for everyone.
Next day it was Christmas Eve and No-Life made his plan come to life. First thing he did was visiting a house of an old lady, telling her he's homeless and doesn't have anything to eat. When she offered him coming inside and joining the Christmas Eve supper with her family, No-Life immediately jumped on the table and started eating all the food, leaving not even a crumb. After that, he put on a creepy elf mask and a green elf suit, taking an alternate persona, so he wouldn't be recognized by anyone. He started running through the streets, destroying everything on his way. Soon the mad boy arrived at the Stool Annual Christmas Fair and started causing havoc. He was running so fast that for everyone else he was just a blur, or a streak. When he left the Fair, he eventually came to Phil's Mansion and destroyed everything there, but also ate all of Phil's favourite food - nachos. Continuing his madness, No-Life was finally stopped by Lenny, Caddict and Charles. They were surprised to see him, when they took off his mask. No-Life soon explained to them why he's been destroying Christmas and told them the main reason for him going crazy was their most recent prank on him. Full of guilt, the three friends allowed him to go further. 
After that, No-Life met Policeman Henry again. The officer was disappointed after seeing his face (as he didn't have the mask anymore). The year before, when No-Life caught Tobias and Larry, Henry thought he had a heart of gold. The policeman threatened No-Life with sending him to juvenile center, but as the boy didn't want to give up, he lied about the mentioned criminals being nearby. When Henry turned away, No-Life escaped. However, he quickly met with Caddict, Charles and Lenny again. The three friends convinced him to stop what he's doing and start behaving good, also telling him to grow up at the end. This actually worked and made No-Life change his mind. Soon, the four went back to the Christmas Fair and arrived just before the announcement of this year's Fair King or Queen. Lenny rapidly lead No-Life to the stage, before Otillie, who was supposed to be the Queen, could even move. At first everyone, including the host of the event, was surprised to see the boy, but Lenny explained everything to him. The host didn't have any objection and titled No-Life as the Fair King. The changed No-Life gave a speech to all present citizens of Stool, revealing that he was the mysterious streak destroying all Christmas-related things. He also apologised for everything. Surprisingly, everyone forgave him with a massive ovation. Later, No-Life was seen happily hosting the Christmas Eve supper for all attendants of the Fair.
Additionally, in a fourth wall breaking ending No-Life wished Merry Christmas to all the viewers.
=== Corrupted Chaos ===
Around two months after Christmas, No-Life was a victim of yet another prank, this time by OkiWan. A week later, No-Life stumbled upon him. However, Oki ignored him, being under the influence of the Power Aura. This obviously angered the boy, which, consequently, also angered the controlled OkiWan, making him burst out with a wave of energy and knocking No-Life. OkiWan left though before any further fight commenced. Sometime later, No-Life once again met Oki, who this time wanted to apologize. However, the angry boy did not explicitly accept it and just smashed his keyboard onto OkiWan's head. 
=== The Thunder ===
He made a minor off-screen appearance in the movie, when Spy and Caddict were watching the latest video on his YouTube channel. The usual scream resulted in Caddict's ears bleeding.
=== Lenny's Vlogs: The Revelation ===
In September of 2020, when Lenny Jester snuck into his house, it didn't take long for No-Life to discover that and scare the Cosmos member. Noticing his camera, No-life assumed he was trying to pull another prank, despite his promise not to, and Lenny explained that he was trying to record No-Life's parents' faces. The boy mocked him, saying that his parents' faces look like their faces and before he left, he told the viewers to subscribe to his channel instead.
=== No-Life's Alone in Paris ===
After his father was revealed to had been a villain for a long time and he fought Spyman's Cosmos, No-Life found himself in a depression. Knowing that he could become like him one day, especially with his usual attitude, he became calmer than he had ever been before. His parent's departure hit No-Life so much, that he also stopped using his computer too. 
One day before the Christmas Eve he was thinking about all that, when his mother entered the room and was ready to scold him for not being packed for the trip yet. However, No-Life said he didn't want to go, because of his state, which was understood by the mom. Nonetheless, she said that it was time to move on and Christmas far away from home, on the Canary Islands, would be a great opportunity to do so. It then accidentally slipped through No-Life's mouth that there would just be a lot of old people "disgusting wrinkles" around them, which made No-Life's Mom mad. No-Life tried to correct himself, as he was used to saying things like that, but deep inside didn't mean to, yet his mom wouldn't listen, told him to pack his things quickly and left. The boy then laid back on the bed, being mad at himself too and though he did agree that it was his fault, he mainly accused the genes after his father.
Over an hour later, he and his family were on the Stool International Airport and No-Life was wondering where the Canary Islands even were. His brother Henry said that they belong to Spain, but No-Life quickly interrupted, calling him a nerd. Their mother once again warned No-Life and continued to chaotically check if she had everything. When she briefly doubted that she had Rose's Identification Documents, No-Life, with a feeling of guilt, wanted to be helpful and went back to the control, where she thought she left it. However, it wasn't there and once No-Life came back, his family had disappeared as well. He started looking for them and realized that they probably went to the plane already. As he only remembered Henry mentioning Spain, he started going through the departures board and finally found a plane to Paris, which in his mind was the capital of Spain. He went there and boarded the plane, without any doubts, as a woman he could see in a distance looked a lot like his mom. It did raise his eyebrow that he was seating far away from her, but guessed it was because of his behaviour and decided to listen to music.
On the airport in Paris, he became a lot more suspecting and while he saw the woman again, she turned out to be Jenny Brown, once she was approached and kised by Phil, which creeped No-Life for a while. He still realized that his family wasn't around and wondering where he even was, when he spotted a banner, welcoming the tourists in Paris, "the capital of France". The boy was puzzled, but quickly coped with his fate, saying that his family would be better off without him and decided to live in Paris then. Throughout the rest of the day, he was followed by a mime, which he then beat, as he hated them, took a failed picture with the Eiffel Tower or was faced by pigeons, after he gave a baguette crumble to one. During the latter, he was spotted by Tobias and Larry and when he thought he was safe from the birds, he was suddenly grabbed by Mealey.
They told him what have they been through the last two years and attempted to kill him for ruining their careers and making them a joke. No-Life didn't want to fight, once again fearing that he'd unleash his inner rage, so instead he just screamed that he was being molested, which made Larry let him go and run away. Soon, he arrived under a Auntie Florence's house, as he remembered that she lived in Paris. He doubted that she'd want to host him, but decided to enter anyway. However, nobody answered to the doorbell, so No-Life asked a person passing by, who fortunately lived around, and asked where is the house owner. The neighbour said she was in a better place, which turned out to be Hawaii, and wished the boy luck on his own. No-Life didn't care about playing with his emotions and knowing the old people habits, moved the doormat and found the key, while being excited to be home alone again.
A few hours later, he was looking through his aunt's things, during which he stumbled upon The Pearls of Toulon. However he threw them away and continued searching, to eventually get alcohol in his hands. He reminisced how he had planned to drink some two years prior, but forgot to do so and took a bottle of freshly made wine. However, it wasn't good yet, so when he took a drink, he immediately spitted it out. In a burst of anger, he threw the bottle and crashed it, but then realized what he's done and became angry at himself for constantly acting the same. He then decided to go look for the bedrooms and to sleep.
When he eventually entered one of the bedrooms, he came across none other Tobias Sanders, who surprised by the door being opened, accidentally pushed the window he was holding, shutting it before Larry. The two stood opposite to each other and Tobias asked for No-Life's name, so the boy showcased the letters on his shirt. Mistaken Tobias called him "Number 42 Life" and said he wouldn't be any obstacle for him, when another window was destroyed by Le Collecteur jumping in. He introduced himself and when Tobias said No-Life was the same child, who stopped them years earlier, Collecteur approached him to mock him. He asked No-Life to defeat him with his powers, but the boy refused, still not wanting to fight. Le Collecteur once again joked from Sanders and then left, with Tobias running after him and shouting that he wouldn't let the other villain to steal the pearls.
This caught No-Life's attention, so he ran right after them, to see Le Collecteur picking up the Pearls of Toulon. No-Life was devastated that he allowed him to steal his family's important treasure so easily and finally convinced himself to fight the burglars, in spite of his fear. Instead of using the stairs, he jumped and landed on the ground floor, recapping his conflict and finally jumping at Collecteur. The two wrestled for a while, until No-Life backed off, when he was approached by The Mime, who then took out two bombs and threw them. The boy managed to kick them outside, where they exploded, while the villain switched to a machine gun, causing No-Life to run away from the bullets. When he reloaded, No-Life succeeded in approaching an opened fire hose box and used it against The Mime. 
Due to his hatred to mimes, he said a few inappropriate things to him and then flushed with water, which turned awkward, when his make up washed down, revealing that he was black. No-Life tried to restore himself, but to no avail, when he was hit by Fast Bill, who then showed him the pearls in his hand and ran away. The boy however quickly caught up, telling Bill that he's fast too, so Bill pushed him towards the near wall and attempted to crush his heart by phasing the arm through him. No-Life managed to get out of his grip though and pushed the speedster into the wall, causing him to stop phasing mid-way through it in shock. 
He then noticed Larry with the pearls, dropped by Bill earlier, however they were quickly recollected by Le Collecteur, who was once again targeted by No-Life. When the masked robber tried to bounce off the wall, the boy caught him and threw into a window. Later, No-Life fought Le Collecteur inside and when he once landed on his bum, his phone was unlocked, playing a voice message from his wife. No-Life realized that he is a villain and a father at the same time and saw his own father in him. Collecteur said that stealing was the only way for him to get resources to support his son and No-Life ended the confrontation by saying that if he wants to help his son, he should stay away from him. Then, he gave the final blow, causing him to land on the wine bottle shards and looked at the pearls with a smile.
In the morning, No-life gave a report to the police and was thanked by an officer, who said that he would be moved to a care center until his family arrived. No-Life expressed his doubt and the policeman tried to cheer him up, when he noticed a family nearby and asked if it was them. No-life didn't even look there, when he heard his mom's voice and immediately rushed towards her. They both were happy to see each other, the boy apologized for all he did and his mom forgave him, also adding that she heard about his fight with the criminals and she was proud of him.
== Personality ==
Due to his addiction, No-Life cares only about his computer and games. He hates every other person, no matter if good or bad, if they somehow interrupted him playing on computer or console, he would always smash the keyboard on person's head. Because of his insanity, his peers often laugh from him, which makes him humiliated and more angry. For that, No-Life wants to repay everyone who has ever laughed from him. However, in his view of things, people have already been laughing from him even before he started going crazy and that he was always a victim of bullying. By this, No-Life tries to defend his behaviour, but even then comes out as the same bad person, sometimes even far worse than that.
That's the No-Life we meet in A Christmas Carol by No-Life. However, despite all that, No-Life is able to change. As seen at the end of said video, when Ghost of the Future Christmas threatens that he will die, No-Life gets motivated to change and after reversing time, he surprises his family with a good behaviour during Christmas.
After Christmas and throughout the next year though, No-Life came back to his usual behaviour and in the first scenes of No-Life's Home Alone he was yelling and hating on all of his family again, to the point that when he was left alone, he didn't care and was happy that he could finally do things he would never be able to do with them around. Even the fact that his family didn't care for leaving him mutually, didn't bother No-Life. In that special, the boy also showed even more than usual what he's capable of when it comes to protecting his beloved things, when he was defending the house (and most importantly - his computer and console) from criminals trying to rob it. 
Interestingly, when stranger people meet No-Life, they can see the good in him. That's how it was with Policeman Henry. After No-Life accidentally caught the robbers, the officer mistakenly thought it was a heroic act on No-Life's behalf. Though far beyond from truth, the man felt that the boy can do many good things to the world, he just has to want.
No-Life's Home Alone ended on No-Life's parents coming back and grounding him for the entire next year after seeing the mess he left when fighting the thiefs. As we know from the next special - How No-Life Stole Christmas - he has tried explaining everything, but his parents wouldn't believe him, as they knew well how much of a liar he was. This also came up after Caddict, Charles and Lenny's prank with slime bomb, which again made a lot of mess in the house and made No-Life's parents ground him. The fact that his closest ones, despite everything, don't trust him even slightly and the humiliation of the trio's constant pranks, which would later be published on the Internet, finally made No-Life snap. It was in the third special when we finally saw his maniacal and psychopatic at its worst. No-Life put his goal - destroying Christmas for everyone else - above everything and hid himself under a costume of a creepy elf, then scaring everyone, destroying all decorations and ruining anything related to holidays. 
Seemingly though, now things have changed, since after a long talk with Lenny, Caddict and Charles on No-Life's behaviour, he has decided to limit the hate on people and grow up a little. He would later give a long, beautiful speech on The Annual Christmas Fair of Stool, getting people's applause and even host a supper for all attendants of the fair. This indicates that No-Life is still capable of becoming a better person and this time, he most likely will try his best. Although he said he'll come back to being himself after Christmas, it is certain that his hatred for other people is no more, at least if it comes to being turned against everyone for nothing.
== Relationships ==
Despite being a lonely boy with no friends, No-Life has actually developed a quite long list of people he knows. And while he practically hates all of them, these relationships are pretty varied.
===No-Life's family===
Of course, No-Life hates everyone in his family in some degree. All because every person is trying to get No-Life away from computer in some way. The hatred is actually mutual with almost every person. Being tired of No-Life's attitude, his relatives stopped caring about him a long time ago, which would be cruel and heartbreaking for any other kid. It got to the point where they left him alone for Christmas, but didn't care to come back. It was the bad weather conditions that made them return at the end of No-Life's Home Alone.
==== No-Life's Mom ====
His mother is the person we see him conflict with the most. It's also her who usually intervenes when he's behaving bad by giving him bans. When she notices No-Life at the end of No-Life's Home Alone, she firstly asks what he's doing outside at 5 AM, but is shown to quickly stop caring about this and son's health by saying "nevermind". A deleted scene from the special also presented her in a plane, remembering about No-Life left alone. In said scene she even forgot his name at first.
====No-Life's Dad====
No-Life's father, though often absent, is also known for grounding him a lot. He wants his son to grow for a perfect man, but knows that it's almost unachieveable now. Getting used to the fact that his son is a failure, he just doesn't want No-Life to bring his family shame. In the deleted scene of No-Life's Home Alone, after No-Life's Mom realizes they left No-Life at home, No-Life's Dad tells her not to worry and doesn't even move, saying it will be better if they leave him be, as they could use a vacation from him.
==== Otillie ====
Otillie is No-Life's twin sister, born just four minutes before him. Though she hates him too, she still wants to "fix him". As she's a sportive girl who likes to spend time outside with her friends, she often tries to get No-Life to play with them. This never works and sometimes even causes No-Life to rage. It is also the reason why No-Life hates her.
==== Henry ====
Being the leader of his high school rock band, Henry often has rehearsals at home. This means a lot of loud music played by him and his friends, which obviously interrupts No-Life in playing games, as he can't focus. That's the main reason of No-Life's hatred towards Henry. However, it is not mutual. Henry is actually one of the few members of No-Life's family who doesn't hate him.
==== James & Alex ====
No-Life's younger twin brothers are full of energy, usually playing outside along with Otillie. When they are inside though, they can quickly get on No-Life's nerves by entering his room and interrupting him when playing games. They don't hate him, but are not that nice towards him either. In fact, they like to mess with No-Life on purpose just to annoy him and later laugh from it. This always works, but then makes the two brothers pay for it, as No-Life usually also beats them very hard for all this.
==== Rose ====
The youngest sibling of No-Life is the least of his problems, but used to also be an obstacle in playing when she was a baby and used to cry a lot. Now that she's three years old, it happens more rarely, but being that young and very curious of the world, she often enters No-Life's room without permission and asks him pointless questions, which drive the boy insane. Nonetheless, she doesn't hate him at all. She loves everyone in her family, including No-Life, despite him always being rude to her.
=== Spyman's Cosmos ===
As presented in Us vs Us series, No-Life sometimes meets with Spyman's Cosmos when they are fighting BSoD. This often leads No-Life to help them by coincidence. He isn't aware that BSoD's gang is pure evil and mistakes them for something else, for example when he got to their base in the series finale, he thought it was Toys' R Us. However he is absolutely not a member of the group and is seen to hate most of it. If not, he's just a jerk to them (e.g. beating Dr Saturn with keyboard right after defeating his clone).
==== Lenny Jester, Caddict & Charles ====
The three people from the gang that No-Life hated the most were for years Lenny, Caddict and Charles who together ran a channel focused mainly on pranking No-Life. Lenny was the leader of the trio, usually hosting the episodes and getting objects required to realize a prank (like a goo bomb from his brother). Caddict was the mind of operations, but also lead some episodes, while Charles was always the cameraman, also responsible for getting to unavailable places thanks to his phasing abilities. The pranks were known for their popularity on YouTube, as they presented many of No-Life's iconic, funny raging moments. The number of views always infuriated No-Life even more, as thousands of people watched him humiliate himself.
Things have changed in How No-Life Stole Christmas after the three friends took the fault for everything No-Life did during Christmas. They managed to calm him down and encourage him to change, which surprisingly worked. Thanks to them, No-Life finally started to grow up, psychologically at least. However they were obligated to stop pranking him to avoid him causing chaos ever again. The current relation between the four is hard to precise. They aren't really good friends, but their troubled past and hostility is no more. Only time will tell.
== Appearances ==
# A Christmas Carol by No-Life
# Us vs. Us 2/4
# Us vs. Us 3/4
# Us vs. Us 4/4
# Hurricane Inbound 3/4
# No-Life's Home Alone
#No-Life's Tales (cancelled)
# How No-Life Stole Christmas
#In Search of the Scarlet Griffin 1/5 (mentioned)
#In Search of the Scarlet Griffin 2/5
#Corrupted Chaos
#The Thunder (non-physical appearance)
#In Search of the Scarlet Griffin 3/5
#In Search of the Scarlet Griffin 4/5
#In Search of the Scarlet Griffin 5/5
#Lenny's Vlogs: The Revelation
#No-Life's Alone in Paris
== Trivia ==
* No-Life's first appearance was in A Christmas Carol by No-Life, which was released in 2016. However it was originally intended to be The Philmer's first video ever and be released for Christmas of 2015.
** If that wasn't enough of, due to some later retcons to make the timeline consistent and avoid a year break between A Christmas Carol by No-Life and No-Life's Home Alone like in real life, the video canonically takes place in 2017.
* No-Life is one of The Philmer's most iconic characters, alongside The Acrobat. Just like the latter he's also one of the Philmer's favourite creations.
**While at first, The Philmer was going to use Acrobat, Phil and Lenny Jester as his channel mascots, No-Life soon joined as the fourth mascot and eventually took Lenny's place.
* At some point on No-Life's voice track, the original voice of Angry German Kid is heard saying a phrase, sounding similar to Polish "w dupę psa", which means "into dog's ass" or "the dog's ass". And that's what No-Life's subtitles usually show when the phrase is heard.
* His shirt consists of dark red and green, which are considered to be the colours of Christmas.
* No-Life was supposed to have his own solo series called No-Life's Tales, expected to premiere in 2019. It was supposed to have eight episodes for the start and tell about No-Life's very grounded adventures outside of Christmas season.
* Originally No-Life and his special weren't connected to the universe, but it was changed thanks to Dr Saturn featuring the character and his surrounding in Us vs. Us 2/4. 
** The Philmer reacted to this surprise with much excitement and from the time's perspective, he thinks it's better that way. If it wasn't for that, No-Life probably wouldn't be ever used again.
* No-Life is one of the few characters who have the ability to break the fourth wall (examples: making The Philmer animate snow in A Christmas Carol by No-Life, appearing in No-Life's Home Alone intro and complaining about it, referencing The Philmer cancelling No-Life's Tales series in How No-Life Stole Christmas). Another character with such ability is Luis.
*He is one of the characters with their own character themes. In his case, it's a piece by Kevin MacLeod called Winner Winner.
Category:Characters
Category:No-Life's family
Category:Male characters
Category:Humans