In Other News

"A miracle, or a mystery? Reports have been coming in, about various young patients at the UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital, right here in San Fransisco. The reports are, that children suffering cancer, are suddenly cured, with no explanation. Our man on the spot, Geoffry Thompson has more."
"The fires in Colorado this week have taken a turn for the strange. Eye witness accounts of a dark, tall creature somehow controlling the destructive wildfires, with entire fronts dying down, others simply going out entirely, like a single birthday candle."
"Still no word on the vanished oil today, after a simply breathtaking set of images rippled across the web yesterday afternoon. As seen here, the dark areas of the spill in the Gulf of Mexico clearly visible, and fading away at the edges, as if being removed by some unseen force. No comment from BP has been made, but insiders have confirmed that the oil company has no idea how this is happening."
"A touching tale tonight, as a young girl survives a bear attack, unharmed, thanks to a strange guardian. John Bothem has this story.
"Young Jessica Dale looks fine, but these small scratches to her arm, and bump to her head all she has to show, after being dragged away from her mother, by a bear. She isn't even shaken.
"It didn't hurt. I think it was gonna eat me, but I got away. She saved me."
"This 'she' is the reason for the miracle. According to Jessica, she was defended by an angel, in the form of a wolf, shown by these hastily taken cellphone photos.
"So she fought off the bear?"
"Nuh, she told him to go away."
"The wolf told the bear, to go away?"
"Yeah. And-"
"And it did?"
"Yeah. Yeah, and she wasn't a wolf. She had too many legs. She was an angel-wolf."
"Numerous sightings of strange, wolf-like creature have been made in the state of Pennsylvania, and even a few videos have been caught. But nothing quite like this.
"A well thought out hoax? No one can be sure, but Jessica is convinced.
"I love you, wolf-angel! Thank you!"
"From Pittsburgh, I'm John Bothem, Action News."
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