Chocolate Pain

The eighteenth chapter of Total Drama Tokyo, posted on July 1, 2012.
==Story==
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, I have no idea what the contestants did, because I wasn't there. So, why don't I just put on this video of a walrus eating ice cream?" begins Chris. He's then shown in front of a TV, and he turns it on to, sure enough, a video of a walrus eating ice cream. He lays back in a La-Z-Boy chair and takes out a bottle of "Chris Cola" then starts to drink it. He slowly begins to fall asleep in his recliner chair. A few minutes later, he wakes up, and turns the TV off. "All righty, then. Let's see how the final five are doing, right here, right now, on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"
The contestants are shown in their room, all sleeping except for Puck, who is nowhere to be seen. Roz is snoring loudly and holding her stuffed whale, while Ari is sleeping soundly, Layla is sleeping while Charles is massaging her shoulders, and Kai is snoring.
The door swings open loudly, and Puck walks in. He is covered in dirt, twigs, leaves, and other debris.
"Whoo," he says. "What a fun night." He slowly walks over to his bed and turns on his Wintendo 3SD, which is on full volume. The sound of the loud game wakes every other contestant up, and they're not too happy about it.
"What the crap, Puck? Where were you?" Layla asks, infuriated that she has been woken up.
"The woods," says Puck nonchalantly. He then goes back to playing his 3SD.
"Come on, dude, be more specific. What were you doing in the woods?" asks Kai curiously. "Eating berries? Fighting yokai? Skinny-dipping?" Kai gets some quick glances. "All right, maybe I shouldn't have said that last one. But seriously, what's up?"
Puck shrugs, and continues to ignore Kai as he plays his 3SD.
"Dude, put that freaking video game away, it's impolite to ignore others," Layla yells. Charles begins to snicker, and she glances at him angrily.
Roz wakes up, and stretches. "Haiiii, how was everyone's night? Did you have cool dreams? I sure did. Mine was about me and Chappy riding on a dolphin."
"Not a whale?" Ari skeptically states. "That's... different."
"Yeah, whales have gotten kind of old, but that's okay. So, whatcha guys doin'?" Roz asks, trying to make conversation.
"Sleeping. Puck was in the woods," Layla scoffs. "Probably picking his butt."
"HEY!" yells Puck, extremely insulted. After a pause, he states, "...I stopped doing that like two months ago."
"So, final five, huh? We sure did get far in the game, huh, guys?" Ari says, trying to make conversation.
"Yeah, totally. I wonder what our challenge is gonna be today?" asks Roz. "Hopefully something cool and exciting."
"Chris is probably gonna be a real jerk and make us, like, scuba-dive in the toilets or something," Layla scoffs.
"Hey, that would actually be really fun," Puck says. "Minus the stench. And the leeches. And the floating piles of crap. And the Zubats and Rattatas. And the... Never mind, yo, that wouldn't be fun. It would be terrible."
"Knowing Chris, he'll probably make us do it. Hey, Layla, remember when we saw that kappa in the sewers? Bet he's still there, with no water in his head," Kai says.
"Ugh, don't even remind me of that challenge. It was terrible," Layla responds. "Charles, get me some sushi."
Charles runs to the kitchen, and throws a bag of freeze-dried sushi at Layla's head. It hits her in the head, and she scowls.
"Hey, what if Chris is feeling lazy, and decides to skip the challenge and just let us vote someone out?" asks Ari. "I'd like that..."
"As would I," says Puck. "I got th' perfect idea on who to vote out."
Puck says in the confessional, "Scratch that. I have no idea at all on who to vote out. I love everyone here, dawg. Even the really annoying ones, like Layla."
Roz says in the confessional, "Hehehehehe. I miss Chappy. Ari is a pretty cool person, though, so I can get to the final two with her. Although, I get this strange vibe from her... I don't know what it is. Whatevs, she's still awesome. Colon-three."
Layla says in the confessional, "Ugh, everyone here is such a moron. Especially Charles. I'm prepared to quit, it's not like I even need the money."
Ari says in the confessional, "All right, I'm going to pause from trying to eliminate Roz. Puck is more annoying. I think I can win this..."
Kai says in the confessional, "When I joined this show, I thought I was going to be the first one out. People don't like magic-loving nerds. But I've gotten far, and I have a chance of winning. Is that even possible? I think Puck's gonna win, though."
Chris is shown with the contestants in the amphitheater where they made their skits earlier in the season. "Well, hey, guys! Ready for today's challenge?"
"No," everyone unanimously says.
"Anyway," says Chris, ignoring their complaints, "Japan is known for its famous viral videos, anime, and other TV and media. Today, your challenge is to create a completely new viral video. I mean, that's part one of the challenge. You have twenty minutes. Ready? GO!"
"Wait, but you didn't even..." Ari says.
"GO!" repeats Chris. Ari walks away.
Roz is shown in the pantry of the kitchen, looking for pop-tarts.
"Roz, are you sure you're supposed to be in here? The sign on the door says 'CHRIS ONLY'..." says Ari, walking in to the kitchen.
"I could say the same thing to you, bebeh," Roz responds. "Anyway, not like I'm doin' anything evil, just looking for pop-tarts for my Nyan Cat video."
"Why don't you just call Dolph and borrow his?" Ari says. "It would be a lot easier."
"I have no idea how to call Dolph, that's the thing," Roz says "Wanna help me?"
"I don't know either," Ari states. "Let's ask Kai, he probably knows."
"Ooooh, Kai is a funny and cute little guy," Roz says.
"Roz, you have a boyfriend, and you two are madly in love..." says Ari. "Don't be a cheater." After saying this, her face turns bright red.
"Ari, what's up with yo' face, gurl? Somethin' wrong?" Roz says. "Come on, you can tell me."
"Uh, sure, I'll tell you..." Ari responds. "If you promise not to tell anyone. Otherwise, you're going to go to the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers... Mkay?"
"Yeah, I'm a trustworthy person," says Roz happily. "Go ahead and tell me. Pweeeese."
"All right, sit down," Ari says. Roz sits down next to her. "So, you remember Tolkien, right? And how I flirted with him, and he flirted with me, and I admitted that I liked him before I was eliminated the first time?"
"Mmm-hmmm. How could I forget Tolky?" asks Roz.
"So, yeah. That whole time I was flirting with him, I actually had a boyfriend... We had been dating for about a year and a half..." Ari says.
"Whaaaaaaaat?" Roz yells.
"Yeah, I knew that would be your response..." says Ari. "Anyway, I wasn't trying to be a two-timer, but I hated that dude who I was dating, and I just wanted to get away... After I was voted off, he dumped me... So, I guess it's fine now, right?"
Roz looks very angry. "Ari, that's really a mean thing to do to Tolky. He's probably listening to this and crying."
Tolkien is shown at the losers' resort, watching the episode with Julian and Anderson. His mouth is hanging open slightly, like a dead fish.
"Don't worry, dude, there are plenty of other noodles in the cup," Julian says. "You'll find someone."
"Personally, I like feisty girls," says Anderson. "Mraaaaooow."
The scene switches back to Roz and Ari. Roz makes a pouty face, and walks away.
Chris is then shown with the contestants, back in the center of the auditorium.
"So, everyone, let's see your videos! We'll go in alphabetical order, with Ari going first," Chris says.
Ari walks up to the stage, and turns on her video. Two puppets are shown on the screen. One of the puppets puts its hand in the other puppet's mouth, and the other puppet bites the hand. "Oww! Charlieee!" screams the puppet in a fake British accent. "Charlie bit maaaayyy. Thaht really huht, Chahlayyyy." The little puppet bites the other puppet's finger again, and laughs evilly. "Ow," says the puppet. "OW! CHAHLAAAAAAY! OW!"
Ari turns off the video and walks off the stage.
"All righty then," says Chris ."Next up, Kai. What's your video?"
Kai walks up to the stage and turns on his video. Piano music is heard playing, as Kai appears on the screen close to a microphone. He begins to sing in a deep voice. "Chocolate raaaaiiiin... Some stay dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate raaaaaiiiin... A baby born will die before the sin." He keeps singing, and the other contestants look on in awe, and Kai turns off the video.
"You lip-synced that," Layla scoffs.
"I know," responds Kai. "We didn't have to make new videos, just do our takes on them, I thought."
"Actually..." says Chris. "I said to create a completely new viral video! Layla, Roz, and Puck, what are your videos?"
"Nyan Cat," Layla and Roz say simultaneously. "Hey!" they say simultaneously again. "You stole my idea!" they say again. "Copycat!" they say.
"Uh, and what about Puck?" asks Chris.
"Actually, mine is just filmed footage of me in the woods earlier today, it was pretty funny, wasn't it?" Puck says.
"Oh, yeah, that was hilarious!" says Chris. "Let's use that for the second part of the challenge."
"And what about the rest of us, why don't you just put our heads somewhere in the video so we get famous too," Kai says.
"Good idea," says Chris. "Be back in a few!"
In a few, Chris is back. He puts the newly made video in the DVD player, turns on the video, and Puck is shown in the woods, walking around. He walks into a tree, and falls on his face, unconscious. Suzuki comes up to him and farts on his face. Then, a monkey swings by and poops on his helmet, then drops down and steals the helmet, revealing Puck's bald head. Puck gets back up, but trips over a tree branch and lands unconscious in a pool. Crudely made screenshots of Ari, Roz, Kai, and Layla pop up in the background and begin to dance. Then, Chris turns off the video.
"What was that?" asks Layla.
"Puck's adventures in the woods, and we gave you guys cameos like you asked! Anyway, here's the second challenge. I just uploaded the vid to MyCircle under the title 'fat kid bloopers', and it already has 70,000,000 views, somehow. You guys' job is to go into the city and try not to get maimed by the obsessed fans. The last contestant standing wins invincibility," Chris says. "Ready? Let's head into the McLean Van and go into the city!"
Chef pulls up to the contestants, driving a gigantic blue van with Chris faces painted all over it. "Hop in, suckas," he says.
The contestants get into the car and drive to the middle of downtown Tokyo, where obsessive fans lead by Yuri are lying in wait.
"ZOMG! THEY'RE HERE!" yells one hyperactive little girl.
"I WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPHS!" yells a little boy.
"Calm down, kiddos, I know them, so I get the first pick!" yells Yuri.
"Who said you were the boss?! GET HER!" yells some other kid, and they start a dogpile on Yuri.
"Wait..." says a kid. "Why are we dogpiling her?! The stars are over there! LET'S GET THEM!"
The kids suddenly hop off of Yuri and run onto Ari, Layla, Roz, Kai, and Puck, and begin to tackle them.
"Ow, my kiwis!" yells a voice who is presumably Puck.
"Sha-zoobie!" yells Kai, and a flash of green light is shown. A bunch of the kids transform into platypi and run away strangely.
"How did you do that?!" yells Layla.
"MAGIC, BRO!" Kai responds, trying to yell over the raging kids.
Although, his efforts aren't very effective, because the kids fight back, covering everyone up in an angry mob.
A title card is shown, reading "Four hours later..."
The contestants are all shown, dazed and unconscious. It's nighttime, and the fans are completely gone.
"That... was... terrible..." Kai says, being the only contestant still standing. "Did I win....?"
"Yes," says Chris. "But that was just a lazy challenge by the author because he hasn't posted one in a while and wants to end so he can make the All-Stars season! But yeah, you did win. Let's go back to the hotel room, guys."
The contestants hop back into the McLean Van, and Chef drives them all back to the hotel.
Ari says in the confessional, "Roz or Puck? And now I have a normal reason to vote Roz, since she's been ignoring me... I don't see how that was really bad, what I did. Come on..."
Puck says in the confessional, "Whoooo. That was a fun, but brief, challenge. Lol, I'm all sweaty and stuff. Time to take an ice bath, after I survive this elimination."
Chris is shown at the elimination ceremony.
"Well, hey, everyone. The first piece of sushi goes to Kai, since he won the challenge, or whatever you want to call it. I'm still disappointed by this episode's length, but it was longer than most of Total Drama School," says Chris, and he throws Kai a sushi.
"Hey, I enjoyed Total Drama School," says Kai. He catches the sushi in his mouth.
"Roz and Layla are safe too," Chris says. The two get their sushi.
"Ari and Puck. The final piece of sushi. You two have been quite the interesting competitors, but for one of you, you will no longer compete. The final sushi goes to..."
"Ari. Puck, your time in the competition is up."
"Whaaaaaaaaaat?" Puck says. "I seriously thought I was gonna win, but I guess not. It was a really chill game, yo."
"Everyone thought you were gonna win. Why did everyone vote for Puck?" Chris says. "Even I thought he was gonna win."
"Well, it was a dramatic twist, dudes and dudettes. You'll always be my chill ice cubes. Kai, best of luck being in the F4 with all babes, I'm jelly. See you later," Puck says, as he shimmies down to the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers. "Oh, one more thing! My real name is Cornelius Puckerschmidt. But you didn't hear that from me. Peace."
"I'm still shocked that he was eliminated..." Ari says. "Ah, well, hopefully he'll have fun with Wolfgang."
"Who will win? Who will lose? What will happen to Charles?" Chris glances at Charles, who is cleaning up dog poop from an unknown source. "Find out next time on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"