Chapter Nine: And Thus The Plot Makes Itself Clear

==Story==
Chapter Nine: And Thus The Plot Makes Itself Clear
DATE IN THIS CHAPTER: 10/3/2009 TIME IN THIS CHAPTER: ABOUT 8 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING…YEAH, THEY WERE SO SURPRISED THEY STOOD THERE ALL NIGHT
Sonic and the gang stared at the screen. The widescreen TV in Nick's basement was lit up with dancing flame animation on the Sonic and the Secret Rings title. Absolutely everyone was astounded and angry.
"Nick…when were you planning to tell us about this?" Sonic grumbled.
"…hopefully never…" Nick mumbled.
"NEVER! THIS IS A DIRE SITUATION! WHAT IS THIS!" Shadow screamed.
"Well, how do I put this lightly…? You're all from a video game world interpreted by Yuji Naka, the creator of SEGA and the Sonic franchise. Sonic the Hedgehog became a famous hit around the world, producing many sequels, spinoffs, tv shows, etc. Eventually Sonic got a larger cast of friends, such as Shadow, Rouge, the Babylon Rouges, and others. This game title features even MORE cast characters that we'll probably never see again in a video game," Nick managed to say ALL IN ONE BREATH. Everyone's jaw was hanging wide open.
"…did I also mention Shadow is an unlockable character for Multiplayer mode on this game?" Nick added. Shadow then FREAKING EXPLODED…then he was reimbursed, and then HE SCREAMED.
"THIS IS INSANE! THERE'S NO EXPLANATION FOR THIS!" Shadow yelled.
"No, the cliffhanger Season 3 finale of Sonic X has no explanation," Nick countered, before shutting his mouth quickly. Shadow eyed Nick angrily.
"What's Sonic X?" Shadow asked through gritted teeth. Nick just gulped.
"Oh, this isn't gonna be good for anyone…" Nick sighed.
"What do you mean?" Shadow grumbled.
"Let me guess: it's some satire of our stereotypes?" Rouge growled.
"NO! It's just…well…I'm worried about what Tails might think…" Nick uttered. Tails appeared surprised.
"Why?" Tails asked.
10 MINUTES LATER….
Tails was crying in his room very loudly, and Amy was actually trying to cheer him up. As for everyone else, their anger was UNPARALLELLED.
"…you could've told us Cosmo was in Sonic X…" Sonic growled.
"Never gave me a chance. So, who wants to play Sonic and the Secret Rings?" Nick asked in an upbeat mood. Shadow then used GLARE. NICK became PARALYZED! It may be possible for NICK to lose movement for one turn! SHADOW used REPRIMAND! It's super effective!
"FINE! OKAY!" Nick shouted back at Shadow, who had just finished a long rant.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys before, but would you all have honestly believed me if I had told you all from the start?" Nick asked. Sonic and Shadow went over this, and seemed to soften up. Amy and a sniffing Tails walked downstairs.
"Are you going to be alright?" Amy asked.
"Yeah…I-I just need so-some water…" Tails jittered, walking slowly into the kitchen.
"Alright. Sonic and the Secret Rings. Explain it to us, NOW!" Shadow yelled.
"Why explain it when I could just show you?" Nick offered. Shadow took the offer, and everyone went downstairs to watch the motion-controlled terror that was Sonic and the Secret Rings.
----
Meanwhile in Albuquerque, a certain fanfiction author was sitting as his computer, waiting for hours on end.
"OKAY, that's IT! I've waited too long!" fanfiction author shouted. This fanfiction author then got into a car and began driving down to the USA…which will somehow have him ending up in Nick's house, in say 3 or so hours.
----
Sonic and gang sat and watched in amazement as Nick managed to get Sonic to do a Homing Attack on at least 15 skeleton warriors, 3 genies, 2 pearl crates, a spring, and a chicken, ALL IN ONE CONSECTUTIVE JUMP. Nick chuckled in enjoyment.
"All right! I'm totally getting gold for this one! Just a bit more…" Nick muttered, keeping his focus. After barely jumping over a spiked ball, Nick successfully made the on-screen Sonic do a Homing Attack on one final genie, before giving him the Gold Rank for the "Destroy 40 Enemies!" mission in the Skeleton Dome stage.
"YES! A new page for the Special Book!" Nick shouted in joy.
"Emphasis on special…" Shadow jeered.
"Shut up, Shadow," Nick fought back. The screen then cut to a cutscene of Sonic and Shahra finding the White World Ring. Sonic looked confused.
"Why are all the cutscenes in 2D?" Sonic asked.
"SEGA ran out of the animation budget, I guess," Nick theorized. "I mean, they spent WAY too much time on the flashy special effects."
"And where would we find such special effects?" Rouge asked.
"Glad you asked! TO THE SECOND-TO-LAST BOSS!" Nick shouted. Nick then selected the Erazor Djinn boss fight in the Night Palace. JUST AS THE FIGHT BEGINS, a short clip of Erazor spinning around making flames out of mere words is seen, including with flaming sound effects and the frame of Erazor summoning his pocket knife he acquired during his time in Boy Scouts…AND ALL THIS HAPPENS BEFORE SONIC EVEN SAYS A ONE-LINER.
"Holy crap, he's right," Shadow acknowledged.
"…(sniff)…he's so right, he made Knuckles go into a seizure…" Tails mentioned, pointing at Knuckles who was suffering from epilepsy.
"All the orange flowers coming from the Oriento, and this pain hat I have while eating oregano, lalalala, tswain tswain nice boobies, at the toilet it all goes down flowies, fleedaleflidelafetch, pot pot pot yeah I don`t give a dam…halalaheliiyah (three hand claps) Halalaheliiyoh (three hand claps) Too-w00t too-w00t (four foot smash the floor) Hadeleeiah! (blows his nose)!" Knuckles screamed and accomplished in five seconds. This also set the record for the first Weird Al/Perusse joke in this series. Sonic (on the screen) then says his one-liner to Erazor.
"I've been waiting to finish things with you for a long time!" Sonic began. The human Sonic then went wide-eyed.
"HOLY CRAP! ERAZOR DJINN!" Sonic shouted. Nick facepalmed as he watched Sonic try to jump into the television. Sonic then bounced off the television and fell onto the floor.
"Should've that've broken the television?" Rouge asked.
"Yeah, but I had my TV retard-proofed 2 weeks ago," Nick explained.
FLASHBACK
Nick and Mike were playing Wii Sports in Nick's basement, with Justin, Sean, Steven, and Neil all chanting for someone to win. The fight was close, as both Nick and Mike had low health and low stamina. The only edge Nick had was that he had mastered the art of random-shaking-fu. Nick then proceeded to knock out Mike's Mii he was using for a good 10 seconds. Nick then won the match. Mike got angry and threw the Wiimote at the TV, but it bounced off and hit Mike in the face.
"Phew. I thought investing in a retard-proofed television was a BAD idea, but it looks like it was a smart investment!" Nick sighed.
END FLASHBACK
"Smart investment…" Sonic acknowledged. Nick then proceeded to beat Erazor Djinn, which only added to the special effects budget since every time Erazor swung his sword, a beam of fire shot out that really must have cost money to animate. And as if the battle couldn't get any more flashy, the scene went to a side-scroller view, as Nick prepared to jump and smack Erazor in the head.
"Aw, crap! I have no energy for a Time Break! Okay, 1…2…3…4…" Nick chanted. Nick then DID THE NEAR-IMPOSSIBLE and made the on-screen Sonic jump up, do a Homing Attack on Erazor, AND rip off the Matrix in one single move. Since I'm tired of this boss fight and ALREADY have a Gold Medal in it, we'll just say Erazor died in a fashion of MORE FLASHY SPECIAL EFFECTS.
"Holy crap. Hey, is Knuckles alright?" Amy asked. Everyone then looked at Knuckles, who was trying to climb up the wall upside-down using a pogo stick.
"Booonjour, bonne fête 'èc des balounes, pis avec des petits clowns et pideboun et da de win la de wiin, nana mogo jnébouga na ba ba fè dga de wa heu ha beu dleuda! MUSIQUE SYNCOPÉE! Bonne fête! Hi dillididi da wa, bonne fête hi faw de ga da bou dwi bonne fête ! Bâne fête ba ba ba de bâne fête, foua dagado de ga de bâne fête!" Knuckles screamed, foaming at the mouth.
"…what the hell…" Shadow muttered. Literally everyone's face was the following emotion.
----
After that large emotion, a man then walked into the room. The man's features are unknown, as I have no clue what his physical appearance is. The man then pointed a finger at Nick.
"You! Are you the creator of Sonic's Reality Check?" the man shouted.
"Yeah…" Nick answered.
"Sonic's Reality Check?" everyone asked.
"I am Yorobot, and I have been patiently waiting for NEARLY A MONTH! WHERE'S CHAPTER NINE!" Yorobot shouted.
"Easy, easy, it's happening right now!" Nick explained.
"Wha…really?" Yorobot asked.
"Yeah! Every time I wake up, my chaotic mind takes down everything that happens in said parts of the day I care about, and it immediately is written down on the upstairs computer for !" Nick explained.
"?" Shadow asked.
"Here, follow me everyone! I can explain it! But why are you down here Yorobot?" Nick asked.
"I would tell you, but then I'd have to explain my hatred of sauerkraut, my love for the Mario series, and also how I was able to get past customs without alerting America," Yorobot explained.
"…like anyone watches Canadian borders nowadays," Nick sighed.
"You're right," Yorobot added.
Heading upstairs, everyone watched in amazement as each word of this chapter appeared almost instantly.
"I didn't know it was possible…" Amy murmured.
"How did you do this?" Yorobot asked.
"Through the POWER OF PLOT!" Nick overdramtically announced. After 15 seconds of awkward silence, the predicable occurred.
"DR. OCTAGONAPUS, BLAAAAAAAHH!" Dr. Octagonapus screamed, creating ANOTHER Shoop Da Whoop joke.
"Man, soon enough the guy who made the Lazer Collection is going to hunt you down," Yorobot muttered.
"Well, someone explain to me what fanfiction is," Sonic asked.
"Fanfiction is basically a term people use if they see something happen, and they don't like it, so they create their own story!" Nick explained. Tails's ears perked up, and then he pushed everyone out of the way as he started looking for TailsXCosmo fics.
"Aw, crap! Tails, you might now like what you find!" Nick tried to warn. Tails ignored this warning and found various Tailsmo fics in the course of 30 seconds. Within those 30 seconds, a crying Tails was escorted downstairs again to get another glass of water.
"…I really need to shut up about these things," Nick sighed.
"Well, what are we going to do? We can't bring Cosmo back to life, so, how do we deal with it?" Rouge asked.
"Eh…we could distract Tails at least," Yorobot suggested. Sonic's eyes lit up.
"Yes! We could distract Tails by making him and Amy fall for each other! That way, Tails can get laid by the chick closest of age to him, and I can be a free agent!" Sonic shouted.
"…you got ALL this from me saying 'distract?'" Yorobot asked.
"YEP!" Sonic giddily answered as he ran downstairs. Everyone else stood there, staring…except for Knuckles, who was still having a seizure in the basement.
"…this is why I prefer the Mario series. It makes more sense," Yorobot announced.
"Yeah, two Italian plumbers saving a princess from a dragon that has underlings assorted of mushrooms and turtles and random power-ups that make up transform into animals or flaming plumbers makes more sense than several anthropomorphic animals stopping an evil doctor/genie/wizard from destroying the world using several powerful gemstones that transforms them into a rip-off of Dragon Ball Z," Nick countered.
"…wow, that is DEFINITELY the weirdest sentence anyone could've made," Shadow acknowledged.
"I guess we shall agree to disagree then?" Yorobot wondered.
"Exactly," Nick agreed, shaking Yorobot's hand as he did so.
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==Trivia==
*This chapter bears the first mention of Tails's girlfriend Cosmo, due to Sonic X being formally introduced to the heroes here.
*Although Yorobot appeared once before, this chapter marks his first actual appearance with the main group.
*Yorobot's normal living location is misinterpreted as Alberquercue. This was due to constant Weird Al jokes Yorobot was sending the true INFERNOX at the time.
*Ironically enough, whenever Nick revealed the existence of Sonic X, Rouge sarcastically remarked that it was a satire of their stereotypes. This is ironic because SRC is a comedy fic itself thriving on satire from the main cast.
*This is the first chapter to introduce another language into the mix (French).
*This is the first chapter to use a Perusse/Weird Al joke.
*Oddly enough, when Yorobot appears in this chapter, he is introduced in a descriptive way, yet he appeared before it a random encounter way.
*It is revealed that Nick can somehow write down whatever happens to him that day via a mind device which makes SRC update every day. This means that the fanfiction Nick is working on is the same fanfiction INFERNOX is working on, creating both a time paradox of sorts and a loophole in SRC's continuity.
Category:Owner:INFERNOX/Sonic's Reality Check/SRC_Chapters