User Agreement

The Warning screen appears.
Germaine sits at Foamy's computer, typing.
The view cuts to each character as he/she speaks.
: Foamy
: Hey! What are you doing to my computer?
: Germaine
: I'm installing new software.
: Foamy
: What type of software?
: Germaine
: Just some photo organizer that can quickly search through all my photos and catalogue them into categories according to theme.
: Foamy
: Ah, great. Wow. How utterly useless!
: Germaine
: Let's see... amount of hard drive space required for installation... six gigabytes.
Foamy appears beside Germaine.
: Foamy
: Six gigabytes? What the fuck? Video games don't even require that much space! What the hell is it putting in there?
: Germaine
: Ah... I don't know.
: Foamy
: Read the user agreement.
: Germaine
: User agreement?
: Foamy
: You know that window that pops up that has that "I agree" button on it? That you click blindly?
: Germaine
: That... that's an agreement?
: Foamy
: Yes.
: Germaine
: Let's see... the user agreement. Ah... la.... {reading} This agreement states that the producer of this software {Foamy holds a "I HATE THIS WOMAN" sign.} has no liability if the software does not work. End user agrees {Foamy holds a "I HATE HER WITH ALL MY SOUL" sign.} that they must put up with endless software patches {Foamy holds a "SHE'S DUMBER THAN A BOWL OF COOKIES" sign.} and upgrades and grant said company permission to monitor and {Foamy holds a "AND I LIKE COOKIES" sign.} view every aspect of your online lifestyle. {Foamy holds a "THERE'S NAKED PICTURES OF HER ON THE INTERNET" sign.} User also agrees to rub their nipples on the screen at least twice a week {Foamy holds a "I THINK SHE'S IN A FEW PORNOS TOO" sign.} and forfeits all reproduction rights of photos taken herein. {Foamy holds a "WORST PART ABOUT THIS TOON..." sign.} Some aspects of this program may not work. {Foamy holds a "RIGHT HERE â†" sign.} However, these conflicts may be caused by additional third-party adware, {Foamy holds a "SOMEONE SHOOT HER!!!" sign.} spyware, and viruses that shall be installed {Foamy holds a "REPLACEMENT WANTED CALL: FOAMY" sign.} bundled with your initial software installation. Constant annoyances may occur, but since you don't {Foamy holds a "I COULD BEAT HER WITH THIS SIGN..." sign.} read the user agreement, it's not our fault. No one reads the user agreement. We are all-powerful and own your nipples. {Foamy holds a "FREE NIPPLES FOR ALL" sign.} Thank you for choosing Useless Thumbnails photo organizer from the Watching Eyeball of Invasion Incorporated. {stops reading} W... wow.
: Foamy
: See? These software companies are fucking nuts! They give you crappy software and monitor your every action! And, because you didn't read the user agreement, and agreed to it, it's perfectly legal!
: Germaine
: Why is my computer running so slow all the sudden?
: Foamy
: Uh uh. Ah. Here we go. Uh ah. You see? And you got a registration reminder.
Germaine is reading.
: Germaine
: Watching Eyeball of Invasion Incorporated is reminding you to rub your nipples on the screen as per the user agreement.
: Foamy
: Diabolical.
: Germaine
: {lifts shirt, rubs nipples against the screen} Stupid user agreement.
Foamy
: {off screen} Aw, jeez! My eyes! My eyes! Get those things away.
Ending screen appears.