Trouble Date

Trouble Date is the 7th episode of (pat)Rick Figures.
== Transcript ==
(At a French restaurant, L'amour Bikini, SpongeBob and the woman from Flame War are seated at a table.)
Squirrel: This is such a nice restaurant. French cuisine? You're so cultural, Blue.
SpongeBob: ¡Gracias!
Squirrel: What's your favorite dish?
SpongeBob: (picks up the menu) Oh, you know! All the hits like, Beef "Borgnonion" (Bourguignon) and, uh, French Onion "Sop" (Soup)....
Squirrel: I didn't know you spoke French!
SpongeBob: Konichiwa.
(???, who is seated near them, heard Blue.)
???: Wwwhat?!
SpongeBob: When I was in Paris, I had the most delicious bowl of-- Shit!
(Patrick kicks down the restaurant door and trots in with a violet woman in his grasp while tongue-kissing her.)
Squirrel: (referring to what Blue was saying) Oh, is that a French dish?
SpongeBob: Uh... it-- it means salmon...
Squirrel: (suspicious) You had a bowl of salmon?
Patrick: (off-screen) Hey, Blue!
SpongeBob: Oh, no...
Patrick: (on-screen with violet woman) ♪I just got a new girlfriend. (points at the violet woman, who leans on him, then points at the pink woman) Who's that? That's your new girlfriend!♪ (points at the fat ugly girl, who is seated right behind them) I told you to go home.
(Somber music plays as she walks away.)
SpongeBob: (music stops) Oh, uh, this is Sandy.
Patrick: And this is... what's your name?
Violet woman: (ditsy voice) My name's Stacy. (Leans on the table while Patrick leans back a little, trying to peek through her skirt.)
Patrick: Really?!
(Patrick sits next to SpongeBob)
Patrick: Hi.
SpongeBob: Dude! You're ruining our first date, get the fuck out of here!
Patrick: Yeah, right! Someone's getting laid tonight. (In whisper) It's me! Up top!
French waiter: (sets a plate of food on the table) Bon appétit.
Stacy: You kiss your mouth with that motheeer?!
SpongeBob: (to Sandy) I'm so sorry.
(She glares at him suspiciously.)
French waiter: (sets a plate of oysters on the table) Your oysters, monsieur.
(Patrick picks up an oyster.)
SpongeBob: Uh, buddy, that's my dinner...
(Patrick and Stacy look at each other seductively. Patrick opens the oyster shell and sticks his tongue out.)
SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing?! (Patrick rubs the oyster all over his face.) Oh, God, that's gross! Aah...
(Stacy pulls out a long baguette from a bread basket.)
SpongeBob: No!
(Stacy starts putting it in her mouth.)
Sandy: (staring with shock) Ew...
Patrick: (his eye pupils shrink) The whole loaf!
(Stacy swallows it whole.)
Sandy: Ugh!
(Patrick devours SpongeBob and Sandy's ice cream fudge and cherry dessert, which resembles two breasts.)
SpongeBob: Aaand there goes our romantic dessert.
(Patrick chuckles with his mouth full.)
Stacy: Oh, baby. (Grabs the table's candle.)
SpongeBob: Oh, what are you doing? (Stacy starts licking it upward.) Oh, no! Oh, no!! OH, NO!! Aah!
(Stacy blows the flame onto the floral centerpiece.)
SpongeBob: All right, THAT'S IT-!
(Suddenly, Patrick and Stacy grab each other and make out on the table, which has caught fire.)
Sandy: (sighs) Take me home.
Stacy: Oh, take me home! (Continues making out with Red.)
Patrick: Oh, yeah! Let's go have sex in Blue's bed!
(He and Stacy get set on fire.)
SpongeBob: Check plea--.
== Soundtrack ==
TBA
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Category:FDBackup
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Category:2018 Episodes
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