Questing for Quests/Transcript

(Wu is meditating in front of his incense candles in his quarters as Lloyd comes in.)
Lloyd: Master? (Waits for a reply.) Is it okay to speak? I don't want to interrupt if you're meditating. (Pauses.) You're meditating, I'll wait. (Wu peeks at Lloyd while he looks around. Eventually, he decides to meditate as well. Lloyd peeks at Wu, then sighs impatiently. He then gets up, accidentally kicking his candles. Wu opens his eyes and closes them irritably. Lloyd coughs, and Wu gives up.)
Wu: What, Lloyd?
Lloyd: (Gets up.) Me and the guys decided we're going on a quest. To get back in shape and hoard our ninja skills?
Wu: Good.
Lloyd: Yeah, except, um, the thing is, we can't think of a quest. We were hoping you had a quest tip.
Wu: Quest tip?
Lloyd: Suggestion? Idea? For a quest?
Wu: Have you become so lazy, you can't even find something to do on your own? (Gets up instantly and points at Lloyd.) Don't come to me for a quest tip! Go out and find a quest! Adventure does not come to the idle, it comes to those who seek it. So, seek. (Sits back down.)
Lloyd: Right. O-okay. We'll seek. (Closes the doors a little too harshly. Shelves fall down. Wu sighs angrily.)
(The ninja are training out in the Monastery.)
Cole: (Spins around on his head and flops down in front of Lloyd.) How'd it go?
Lloyd: He's... in a-a mood.
Jay: Did he give you a quest tip?
Lloyd: No, he said we have to figure it out on our own.
Kai: I've been thinking about it for five minutes! I'm tapped out!
Jay: Maybe when we need a change of scenery. Sometimes ideas come to you better if you change your surroundings. (Scenery changes to show the ninja in the Bell of Divinity.) Nope, still nothing.
Kai: (Sighs.) We need a villain.
Cole: What about Ultra Violet?
Kai: Uh, she was nuts. I'd rather face Killow.
Zane: They're both incarcerated in Kryptarium Prison.
Nya: What about Master Chen?
Zane: The Departed Realm.
Cole: Pythor?
Zane: Whereabouts unknown. Locating him would require some effort.
Cole: Effort? Uhhh, no. (Slurps from his guzzler hat.)
Kai: Eh, finding a good villain is hard.
Jay: Let's face it: There aren't any villains left, except well, um...
Lloyd: (Looks at Jay disapprovingly.) Say it. My dad. (Jay looks down sadly.)
Nya: Wherever he is, he's not really a problem right now. Let's move on.
Cole: Who does that leave?
Nya: Maybe we're aiming too high. Maybe we don't need a villain. Maybe we just need like... a criminal or a gangster.
Jay: Pfft. I'd settle for a bully.
Zane: Perhaps we should check in with the Commissioner. We might be able to assist him in the prevention of some crime.
Ninja: (Chatter happily.) Yeah. Good idea.
Policemen: (Walking around casually until the ninja plunge their anchor down on the street.) Ahh!
Commissioner: (Is busy painting his boat.)
Lloyd: (Opens the door.) Commissioner!
Commissioner: Ooh, ooh, wh-wh-what is it now? Robot Pirates? Lava Zombies?
Cole: Huh?
Lloyd: No. Nothing like that. We just want to help you catch some bad guys.
Commissioner: Oh. Well, actually, it's been pretty quiet around here. We don't have any outstanding warrants.
Kai: Aww, there's gotta be something for us to do.
Commissioner: Hmm. Not really. Take a look at the board.
Kai: Oh. (Sees a small drawing.) Aha! Who's that?
Commissioner: Oh, that? Oh, that's a joke. Someone drew a monster.
Nya: What about an escaped convict? Or a fugitive?
Commissioner: Nope. Nothing.
Kai: Um. A felon?
Commissioner: Nope.
Kai: Hoodlum?
Commissioner: No.
Kai: A crook?
Commissioner: Nope.
Kai: Monster?
Commissioner: Nothing.
Ninja: (Sigh.) Aww.
Jimmy: (Opens the door.) Sir?
Commissioner: Oh, what's up, Jimmy?
Jimmy: Just got a tip about an illegal bootlegging operation down at the wharfs.
Lloyd: We got it! (The ninja takes off.)
Kai: Yeah! You guys relax, we'll handle this.
(The ninja dash off to their destination, only to run into a wall. They ask for directions and arrive at a door.)
Lloyd: Okay, on three. Kick open the door, storm the place, and take them down. (They pull out their weapons and burst through the doors.) Freeze right there!
Salesman: (Throws up his hands.) Aah! (Drops a juice bottle.) Uh... You young fellas wanna buy some prune juice?
Ninja: (Sigh.) Aww.
(The ninja return to the Commissioner's office.)
Lloyd: There's gotta be something.
Nya: An outstanding warrant? Unpaid parking tickets? Anything?! (They turn their heads to Jimmy opening the door.)
Commissioner: What's up, Jimmy?
Jimmy: Something about a disturbance at the Kryptarium Prison.
Lloyd: (The ninja smile and throw on their hoods.) Yes!
Nya: Jackpot! (The dash off, blowing Jimmy's hat off.)
(They arrive to loud sounds coming out from Kryptarium Prison.)
Cole: That sounds terrible!
Jay: We better get in there!
Lloyd: On three! One, two, three! (They kick down the doors to two prisoners doing a video recording.)
Inmate: Shh!
Noble: Oh, hi, guys.
Lloyd: I don't understand. Where's the riot?
Noble: Riot? Oh, goodness, no. Just a little dispute. But we worked it out, didn't we, fellas?
Inmate #1: I overreacted, and I apologize.
Inmate #2: And I'm sorry I expressed myself so poorly.
Lloyd: (Throws off his hood and turns back to the rest of the ninja.) Where now?
Cole: Do you think the prison cafeteria has... cake?
Lloyd, Kai, Jay, and Nya: (Sigh knowingly.) Aww.
Zane: Since we're here anyway, perhaps we should check in with Killow.
Kai: Yeah. Maybe he's up to something.
(Killow is painting when the ninja arrives at his cell.)
Nya: Hello, Killow.
Killow: Oh, hi, guys.
Nya: Don't "Oh, hi, guys" me. What are you up to?
Killow: Nothing. I'm just trying to finish up my painting. You like it? (Holds up a painting of a puppy holding dynamite.)
Jay: Ehh, it's okay.
Kai: Uhh, why does the puppy have a stick of dynamite?
Killow: Oh, well, he's an angry puppy. But he's learning to control his anger, just like me. I find painting very soothing.
Lloyd: (Jay facepalm himself and walk away.) Thanks for nothing, Killow. (Killow glowers them as they walk away.)
(The ninja return back to the police department in boredom. They all jump up in excitement as Jimmy opens the door.)
Jimmy: Got a cat in a tree.
(The ninja looks at each other awkwardly and goes off to rescue the cat.)
Cat: Meow.
Kai: Ahhh! (Falls off.)
Nya: Whoa!
Lloyd: No! (The rest of the ninja fall out of the tree.) Ahh!
Zane: Ow. (The cat jumps down onto the ninja and bounds off to its owner.)
Kai: (Muffled.) There's your cat.
Girl: Mister Whiskers!
(The ninja get up groaning, suddenly turning their attention to a scream heard across the street.)
People: Ahhh!
Robber #1: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, this is a stick-up!
Robber #2: Cash, watches, wallets in the bag. Now!
(Lloyd bursts open the doors and the ninja rush in to defeat the robbers.)
Director: Stop! Cut! Cut! Cut! This isn't in the script! Who ought to write these changes?!
Lloyd: (Zane drops a robber sheepishly.) Oh, boy.
(The ninja return to the Commissioner's office. The look at Jimmy excitedly when he opens the door.)
Jimmy: Coffee spill in the break room! (The ninja lay back down disapprovingly. Opens the door again.) Someone used the last roll of toilet paper. (Kai looks away sheepishly as the rest of the ninja look down in boredom. Opens the door again.) There's a bull in the china shop. (The ninja look down in dismay. Opens the door and holds up doughnuts. Cole smiles happily, while the ninja sigh sadly.)
Lloyd: (Looks at his doughnut.) I can't believe this is happening to us.
Nya: There is literally nothing to do in the entire city.
Zane: Statistically, the absence of a single crime of felony in a city this size is remarkable.
Cole: I wish I understood what you just said, but I don't.
Kai: How is it a city this size has no crime? (Turns to the Commissioner.) And how is it that you're always working on that model ship, and never make any progress?!
Commissioner: (Looks up from painting.) What?
Kai: Oh, never mind.
Lloyd: (Throws his doughnut to Cole's lap.) What is going on with us? We're getting loopy. We're ninja! We need action, suspense, danger!
Jimmy: (Walks in carrying a pile of paper.) You guys could help me with some filing.
Lloyd: How is that dangerous?
Jimmy: If you're not paying attention, you could get a paper cut.
(The ninja have finished with filing and return to the Monastery, defeated.)
Lloyd: If I ever see another file again, it'll be too soon.
Nya: Let's never do that again.
Cole: So many paper cuts. I can't believe I lost to a filing cabinet.
Wu: (Gazes at them slowly.) Hmm.
Lloyd: (The ninja walk into the living room.) Let's not tell anyone about this day. (Flops on the couch.) Ever.
Nya: Okay with me.
Cole: Me too.
Jay: Me three.
(Kai hands Lloyd a soda and turns on the TV.)
Gayle Gossip: I'm here with Ninjago's foremost archaeologist, Clutch Powers, who's discovered an unknown pyramid buried deep in the Desert of Doom. Professor Powers, what can you tell us about the pyramid?
Clutch Powers: Absolutely nothing, Gayle. I haven't been inside and I don't plan to.
Gayle Gossip: But... I thought⁠—
Clutch Powers: (Takes the microphone.) You wanna know what's inside? Traps, booby-traps. Bunkloads of them. Pitfalls and blow darts and fake tiles that collapse when you step on them. Big boulders that drop on you, no thank you. (Lloyd leans forward, watching closely. Nya nudges Cole awake.)
Gayle Gossip: But... isn't that your job, as an archaeologist to you know, explore and go on dangerous quests?
Clutch Powers: Technically, yes. What's your point? (Everyone looks at Lloyd as he gazes at the T.V.)
Gayle Gossip: Well, someone has to go inside.
Clutch Powers: It would take a ninja to survive what's in there. Do I look like a ninja?!
Gayle Gossip: No.
Clutch Powers: Point made. (Dashes away from the camera.)
Lloyd: (Jumps up.) That's it! That's our quest!
Nya: I'll pack my bag!
Cole: Sunscreen! Bring lots of sunscreen!
Jay: Ooh, this is going to be so much fun!
Ninja: (They leap up and raise their arms for celebration.) Ninja, GOO! (The ninja runs off to prepare.)
Gayle Gossip: Well, there you have it. Gayle Gossip broadcasting from a mysterious secret pyramid, that's... gonna stay secret, because no one's going in. (Walks off, muttering.) And I got my hair done, especially for this case. What a bust.
(The camera zooms in on a template displaying Aspheera.)
(End of the episode. For more information, click here.)
Category:Transcript
Category:2019
Category:Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitzu