Dutch Keyboard

== Dutch Keyboard ==
Dutch Keyboard was a world-renowned philosopher and highly accomplished musician. He was nicknamed the "greatest hand in the Inner Rim" for his ability to play piano at half the speed of light. Because of this, his hands experienced slight time dilation and were several years younger than the rest of his body. 
=== Early Childhood ===
Keyboard was raised by a wealthy Mercurian Family in orbit of the planet Mercury. Despite the family name, none of his relatives played any instruments. His father, German Keyboard, had reprimanded Dutch as a child when he would sing notes or hum melodies. Music was forbidden in the Keyboard spacecraft. Once, Mr. Keyboard caught Dutch in the act of listening to the Bee Gees (Stayin' Alive). Dutch was grounded for several years. During this time, Keyboard would study philosophy and immerse himself in countless academic texts on the subject from Earth. He fantasized about traveling to Earth and studying at a public University. 
=== College Years ===
Dutch attended the University of Jacksonville Florida and earned a double master's degree in Music Education and Sound Recording Technologies. Dutch also completed a minor program in Philosophy, but found himself bored due to already having learned pretty much all there was to know back home. None of his family members attended his graduation, and he never returned home to Mercury. 
=== Piano ===
While in college, Dutch began practicing on the Jacksonville Ragtime Piano. it was the only piano in the country and existed in the University Music building. Dutch spent much of his free time in the Practice Room. He discovered he had an uncanny ability to play piano at ungodly speeds. While nobody appreciated his art due to it being faster than the human mind could process, his professor, Dr. Jeekord, began recording and replaying Dutch's performances at .001 times speed. This earned Dutch his famous moniker, the 'fastest Hand in the Inner Rim'.
=== Wife ===
While at college, Dutch also met his future wife, Canadian Guitar. The two bonded over having families that detested music. Dutch and Canadian became a well-known musical duo on campus, and later played at the presidential palace for Perry himself. Perry said the two were "the most talented little goobers I've ever seen" and arranged a record deal for them. The couple eventually released six studio albums. Canadian Guitar's instrument of choice was saxophone. 
=== Philosophy Professor ===
After creating several platinum hits, including "Life is a Slow Way" and "Fly me to the Sun", Dutch decided to indulge himself further into his philosophy interests. He became a professor in the Philosophies at Jacksonville Florida University, and worked there for over thirty years. After his passing, a statue was erected in Dutch's honor in the university commons. Dutch would have hated the statue, however, as it depicted his wife playing guitar.
=== I Know the End ===
Dutch's final song was a solo work, titled 'I Know the End'. It was widely regarded as the "greatest song of All Time" and Dutch was inducted into the Omniversal Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because of this song. 'I Know the End' later became the national anthem of Jacksonville Florida.