Babysittin'

Babysittin' is the nineteenth episode of Bikini Bottom Jenkins and the fourth episode of Season Two.
==Synopsis==
Old Man Jenkins volunteers to babysit the toddlers at First Play Daycare, but is completely unprepared for how chaotic the kids are.
==Transcript==
(In the barn, Jenkins is tending to his sea cow, Ol’ Bessy)
Jenkins: (finishes milking) There ya go, Ol’ Bessy. How’s that?
(Ol’ Bessy kicks Jenkins into the barn wall, breaking a hole into it. Jenkins gets back up on the other side)
Jenkins: (sarcastic) Much appreciated. Very much feel appreciated for my hard work today. Now, let’s see what’s on the paper this time.
(Jenkins goes up to his front doorstep and reads the newspaper’s front headline)
Jenkins: “BABYSITTERS DESPERATELY NEEDED FOR FIRST PLAY DAYCARE?” Really? THAT’S the header for today? (picks up paper, scoffs) These journalists are getting more and more desperate for attention. 
(He goes inside and sits at the kitchen table, reading the paper)
Jenkins: Hmm… being completely honest, I have a void in myself that I need to fill. Maybe some money too. And maybe… just maybe… (scratches beard) babysitting children will help with that. (sighs) Do it for you, Jenkins. Do it for you. It can’t be that bad, right?
(Thunder strikes outside)
Jenkins: Huh? What was that? (shrugs it off) Welp, it's time for me to live my life to the fullest.
(Bubble transition to Jenkins walking up to the daycare, where a woman is waiting for him)
Agnes: Oh, thank Neptune you're here! You don't want to know how desperately I've needed a break from this daycare. Management said I could only get a break if I got someone to cover for me. So, you! (laughs, then gestures Jenkins inside)
(Inside the daycare is a bunch of innocent toddlers running around and playing with toys and such)
Jenkins: So what do ya need me to do for ya?
Agnes: I need you to take care of these children, that's all. Just… make sure they don't get into any trouble, okay?
Jenkins: That’s it? Fine with me. I'll take good care of ‘em, missy.
Agnes: (gives Jenkins some cash) That's the spirit! Now, I gotta go have some relaxation time. (bolts out the door)
Jenkins: Heh, she looked pretty eager to leave. I wonder why.
(Jenkins gets hit in the head with a baby rattle)
Jenkins: Ow! What the--? Hey! Listen up, young people!
(The toddlers all look at him in curiosity)
Jenkins: My name is Jarold Jenkins, and I'm in charge now. And what I say, goes. And I say, don't hit me with stuff!
(Another toddler hits him with a “U” block)
Jenkins: Ouch. (rubs head) Now listen here, feller! U, cannot do that! It's very disrespectful.
Toddler: (babbling)
Jenkins: (sighs, rubbing face) I see none of these guys can talk yet. Idiots.
Talking toddler: HEY! YOU!
Jenkins: Oh looks like someone can talk.
Talking toddler: Weed Head! Where's Lady Agnes?
Jenkins: She’s taking the day off, so now I'm taking care of you guys.
Talking toddler: Not on my watch! (crosses arms and pouts) Humph!
Jenkins: Hey, what's your name anyway?
Todd: Todd. I hate my parents.
Jenkins: I hate your parents too. Should've picked a better name, like Chris or Andrew.
Todd: My parents aren't THAT boring.
Jenkins: …I see.
Todd: Your name is Jenkins, you shouldn't be talking.
Jenkins: I- you listen to me, young man. You can't talk back to yer elders like that. Respect… yer… ELDERS!
Todd: (crosses arms) Hmph.
Jenkins: (looks at his watch) Oh would you look at that? It's lunch time, folks! 
(The toddlers once again stare at him blankly)
Jenkins: What, you guys don't have lunch?
Todd: Oh no we do. We just get it on our OWN time. Not YOURS.
Jenkins: Not on my watch. Everyone, to the lunch line!
(The toddlers groan as they follow Jenkins to the cafeteria next door)
Jenkins: Now let's see here. We got cookies, juice boxes- no apple juice? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO APPLE JUICE?
Todd: Calm down, you're acting like a child.
Jenkins: (steams up) I guess you're right…
Todd: Maybe WE should be the ones taking care of YOU.
(The other toddlers giggle as Jenkins’ face turns red)
Jenkins: I am 113 years old! Wait… I forgot how old I am. But I'm over a century older than all of you! Respect yer elders or there will be consequences!
(Another toddler hits Jenkins in the face with a grape juice box)
Jenkins: No more Mr. Nice Jenkins! (turns into a giant furry with abs) Much better. And I'm more attractive too. Heheh.
Todd: What the hell, why are you a furry?
Jenkins: I…. I don’t know. Wait, how do you even know what a furry is?
Todd: Everyone has access to the internet nowadays, old man. (plays game on his phone) Ooh, I’m winning!
Jenkins: (swipes phone from Todd) I'll be taking that. No phones allowed!
Todd: What?! But it's mine!
Jenkins: Ha, I love the power of confiscation. (confiscates phone into desk drawer nearby)
Todd: (holding boomerang) You won't get away with this!
Jenkins: (swipes boomerang and snaps it in half) On the contrary.
Todd: (growls, lunges for Jenkins, who dodges his attack)
Jenkins: Aww, too slow! Get good, kid.
Todd: Toddlers, ASSEMBLE!
(Some of the toddlers start building a robot with their building blocks, and form a giant mech and hop inside of it)
Jenkins: What the…?
Todd: Toddlers, ATTACK!
(The toddlers yell out a battle cry, releasing toy missiles at Jenkins, of which he barely manages to dodge. He takes cover behind a cafeteria table, but then another toddler pokes him in the face, distracting him. Then, a bunch of the toddlers in the mech jump out and start attacking Jenkins with toy swords)
Jenkins: What… What do you kiddos think you’re accomplishing with this?
Todd: Oh you haven’t seen nothing yet.
Jenkins: Double negative!
Todd: Shut up! We haven’t even taken English yet! (sighs) You asked for this. (pulls out a real gun)
Jenkins: (shaking) Put the gun down, young man, before someone gets hurt.
Todd: You. ASKED. For. This. (aims gun at Jenkins’ head)
Jenkins: D-d-don’t shoot!
Todd: And why shouldn’t I? You’re over 100 years older than us! You’ve had your life lived. And now it’s our turn.
(Todd pulls the trigger on the gun, and just barely misses Jenkins’ head, with the bullet ricocheting off of several surfaces in the daycare. Off-screen, it hits a toddler as it is heard screaming)
Jenkins: I… I think he’s dead. W-WHO TAUGHT YOU TO BE THIS VIOLENT?
Todd: Uhh… (shrugs) internet?
Jenkins: …works for me.
Todd: Good. Now stand back.
Jenkins: W-what do you guys want, anyway?
Todd: (whispering) Freedom.
Jenkins: Huh?
Todd: Freedom. We’ve been stuck here for years because our parents haven’t come back for us! And now that we finally have a change in management, we’re taking advantage of it.
Jenkins: …I see. Well I’m not letting any of you go. I’m getting paid for this!
Todd: (pulls out and waves $1,000 in cash) Daddy’s money…
Jenkins: (looks around carefully, then swipes Todd’s money) You saw nothin’.
Todd: Indeed. Now cooperate, or you’ll face the same fate as (points to dead toddler) Jerry over there.
Jenkins: (gulps, steps back, and hesitantly approaches the front doors of the daycare to open them)
Agnes: (hands on hips) What in the halibut do you think you’re doing? I was just about to congratulate you on handling the kids for this long. I had my relaxation, (sighs) and now it’s time to get back to business. But it appears you didn’t have the guts to handle them all.
Jenkins: B-but one of them has a gun!
Agnes: Oh yeah, he can legally have that there. Otherwise he’s going to sue my butt off.
Jenkins: …I see. Well, my job is done here. See ya fellas never!
Agnes: (stopping Jenkins) I’ll have to stop you right there. Hand the money back, or I’ll have to take it back from you myself.
Jenkins: (scoffs, runs off) You can’t take my hard-earned cash from me! I earned it fair and square!
Agnes: (groans) I have no respect for the older generations.
(Todd shoots a bullet through Agnes’ head, creating a gaping hole in her forehead. She sighs)
Agnes: Just another Tuesday…
(Cut back to Jenkins, who grumbles back to the kitchen and sits down)
Jenkins: How do they let toddlers have GUNS? What has this world come to? I could’ve died at the hands of a (dolphin chirp)ing baby! (grumbles) So much for life fulfillment…
(Jenkins glances at an old black-and-white picture of him and his now deceased wife, smiling while holding their son)
Jenkins: My wife… my son… all gone. (sighs, tears up) What a cruel world we live in.
(Someone knocks on Jenkins’ door)
Jenkins: (weakly) Come in.
Walker: (entering) Hey Old Man Jenkins! What’s up, dude? …why the long face?
(Jenkins’ face slumps down to the ground)
Jenkins: Nothing, Old Man Walker, just missing my family is all.
Walker: I get what you mean. When you get older, you lose a lot of loved ones.
(Silence)
Walker: Sooo, wanna get some prune ice cream to soften the blow?
Jenkins: You know me too well, old coot.
(They exit the house as the screen fades out)
Todd: (suddenly appearing on-screen, pointing at the viewer) You’re next.
(Episode actually ends)
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