Behold! Warriors Abridged! (transcript)

==Transcript==
Behold! Warriors Abridged!
Written by Ponyo Fan, JellyfishJam38...
(Enter a space-esque background. Narrator walks out of his ship in a way parodying TOM from Toonami. Narrator is a robot like him as well.)
Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Warriors of Bikini Bottom, on Toonami --- I mean Nick at Nite.
(Screen shows a flashback of SpongeBob fighting monsters.)
Narrator: He's got 99 problems...
(Screen switches to clips of Mrs. Puff, Sandy, and other female characters yelling at SpongeBob.)
Narrator: ...but these bitches are the main one. Warriors Abridged up next, baby.
---
(The screen cuts to an old "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" countdown.)
SpongeBob: Hello, children! My name is SpongeBob SquarePants!
Patrick: And I'm Patrick Star!
SpongeBob: And we're here to teach you the importance of...
Patrick: SCARY ADS!
SpongeBob: You see, children, for the love of God, do not look up advertisements on YouTube.
Patrick: Don't you mean "Neptune"?
SpongeBob: No, this is an abridged episode, so no one really cares what we say.
Patrick: Oh. I guess that's all!
SpongeBob: See you next time with The Inconsistency of the MPAA!
("THE END" title card appears on screen.)
(SpongeBob appears again.)
SpongeBob: It's time for -
(Cut to Narrator)
Narrator: Sorry, audience. (under breath) Damn PIFs. Now, it's Warriors Abridged!
(Theme song plays and then ends)
(Cut to Sandy and Patrick, legs flying in the air behind the tent.)
Sandy: Patrick, I don't think it's going to fit...
Patrick: Oh, I know it will.
Sandy: Well, could you go a little faster?
Patrick: You trying to kill me?
(Cut to next shot revealing that Sandy and Patrick are playing Twister. Patrick falls down.)
Patrick: Hey, you're cheating!
Sandy: Am not!
Patrick: Are too!
Sandy: Whatever, let's just put the stupid mat away before someone catches us on North territory.
Patrick: Why were we on North territory, anyways?
Sandy: You said North had more space. 
Patrick: Oh, yeah. Hey, what's that?
(Sandy and Patrick turn around and see a bunch of black holes spitting out papers.)
(Sandy picks up one of the papers.)
Sandy: "Behold! MEME LOL SPAGHETTI DINNER!"
(Sandy reads the paper.)
Sandy: This is horrible writing! Whoever wrote this should be burnt at the stake!
Patrick: (foaming at the mouth) Spaghetti! Dinner! Mudkips! Scavengers!
Sandy: Patrick, are you okay?
(Patrick grabs Sandy.)
Patrick: SPAGHETTI DINNER MUDKIPS SCAVENGERS!
Sandy: Oh, no...whatever crappy fanfiction is spit out by these black holes from above life, it comes to life here!
(Black hole spits another paper out, and Sandy picks it up.)
Sandy: "Behold! SpongeBob and Patrick's Sexy Time!" Oh, dear Neptune, no...
(SpongeBob comes out of tent.)
SpongeBob: Hey, what are you guys doing here?
Patrick: (gets hearts in eyes) SpongeBob, my love!
SpongeBob: Uh...Patrick?
Sandy: SpongeBob, run!
More coming soon...
Category:Transcripts