My Roommate is a Man-Eating Plant

“Psst! Veronica!” I whisper. “I think Freddie’s new plant has gone bad.”
“What makes you say that, Christie?” Veronica replies.
Freddie’s new plant is a towering ten-foot-tall monstrosity. It looks like a Venus fly trap, only it has a mouth full of sharp teeth and tentacle-like vines.
“Just a theory,” I retort sarcastically.
“What’s that, Christie?” Freddie asks, walking into the room.
“Christie thinks your new plant is hideous,” Veronica replies.
“That’s not what I said!” I say quickly.
“How could you say that?!” Freddie demands, putting her hands on her hips. “I’ll have you know Axel is a perfect angel. Right, Axel?”
Freddie looks up at it. Axel looks back down at her.
“Your friends are crazy,” Axel replies. “You should let me eat them.”
“See!” Freddie says cheerfully. “Nothing to worry about.”
I huff with exasperation.
“Come on, Fred,” Axel says playfully. One of its vines snake across the ground towards Veronica’s foot. “Just a small bite…”
“Veronica, look out! Axel’s going to-” I start.
But I’m too late. Axel grabs Veronica around her ankle and hoists her into the air.
“VERONICA!” I shout.
“AHA!” Axel cheers. “FRESH MEAT AT LAST!”
“Out of all the ways I expected to die, this was somewhere near the bottom of the list,” Veronica says with dissonant serenity as Axel lowers her into its mouth.
Suddenly, Freddie whacks Axel over its roots with an umbrella. Axel howls and drops Veronica to the ground.
“Veronica!” I shout, running over to her. “Are you okay?”
Veronica looks up at me, dazed. “Who am I?”
“Axel, bad plant!” Freddie scolds her pet. “Very, very bad plant! Mommy is VERY ashamed of you! Do you understand?”
Axel refuses to back down. “Come on, Fred! All I wanted was a nibble!”
“Freddie, you need to get rid of that thing before it kills someone,” I say as I help Veronica to her feet.
“Nonsense!” Freddie insists. “My little Axel is a perfect angel. Just because she tries to eat people doesn’t mean she’s evil.”
“I’m pretty sure it does,” I retort.
“See, Fred?” Axel insists. “Totally crazy, I tell you.”
Freddie peers into Axel’s pot. She gasps suddenly, clapping her hands to her face.
“LOOK!” she cheers, pointing at something in the pot. “My baby had a baby!”
We look closer. Sure enough, there’s a baby Axel growing in the pot.
“This makes me a grandma!” Freddie cheers, pumping her fists in the air.
“Feed me!” the sprout squeaks.
Me and Veronica exchange a look.
“How do you suggest we fix this?” I ask, exasperated.
“With fire,” Veronica replies resignedly. “Lots and lots of fire.”
Category:Appealed Stories
Category:Nature
Category:Weird
Category:MalumLibrum958