CeX and the City

CeX and the City is the ninth episode of The SpongeBob and Viktor Orbán Show. It was released on October 20, 2022 and was written by .
== Transcript ==
[SpongeBot and Beardy Dad are standing outside the CeX in Peppa Pig World. Beardy Dad looks over at the very big store next door.]
Beardy Dad: I dunno who Fred is, but d'you think he's trying to make up for something?
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: Let's just go in.
Beardy Dad: Alright, but first I'd like to take a moment to thank our sponsor for this episode, RAID: Shadow Legends.
SpongeBot: you what
[laugh track]
Beardy Dad: RAID: Shadow Legends is the most immersive and ambitious RPG of this year, and it's available right now for free on iPhone and Android.
SpongeBot: dad are you high or something
[laugh track]
Beardy Dad: Join over ten million players in game that's taken the world by storm, with hundreds of champions to choose from.
SpongeBot: you mean we're doing an entire episode dedicated to one very specific shop and they're not even our sponsor
[laugh track]
Beardy Dad: And that's not all, if you use the code-
SpongeBot: Can we just go in?
Beardy Dad: Eh, fuck it.
[Laugh track. SpongeBot tries to enter CeX but is too tall to fit through the door frame and bangs her head. Laugh track. SpongeBot ducks under the frame and enters. Beardy Dad follows.]
Beardy Dad: Well, here we are, C-E-X.
[The store's manager appears out of the shadows.]
Manager: Oh please, our friends call us… "sex".
[laugh track]
Beardy Dad: Okay… C-E-X.
[laugh track]
Manager: No, no, we're not "C-E-X", we're "sex" with a C.
Beardy Dad: C-E-X with a C.
[laugh track]
Manager: Suh, suh, suh… CeX.
Beardy Dad: Suh, suh, suh… E-X.
[laugh track]
Manager: CeX! CeX!!! CEEEEEEEEXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!
[extra loud laugh track because sex is very funny]
Beardy Dad: [to SpongeBot] What's their problem?
[Cut to the shop counter. A CeX Worker is training a new employee.]
???: This place sounded a lot different on the phone.
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: I know, right? Anyway, what did you say your name was?
???: Paul. Paul, uh… Brenaud.
[The audience cheers, realising who he is.]
CeX Worker: Don't you mean Paul R-
Mr. Renaud: No, no, I'm Paul Brenaud. Completely different.
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: I see. But you said you used to work at a high school though?
Mr. Renaud: Well yeah, but-
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: Sorry, I just thought you sorta look and sound like him, and I mean it really is uncanny-
[laugh track]
Mr. Renaud: It's fine. I am a completely original character just for this show.
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: Right you are.
[Cut to SpongeBot and Beardy Dad looking down the Nintendo Switch section. She picks up "CrazySponge Died: The Game".]
SpongeBot: Ah, I've never played this game! It's apparently really good though.
Beardy Dad: Do you want it then?
SpongeBot: Nah I already have it at home on the pile with the rest of them.
[laugh track]
Beardy Dad: o
[SpongeBot puts the game back on the shelf. Beardy Dad overhears another CeX Worker changing prices on some old games.]
CeX Worker 2: Should we leave it alone? Should we play it safe? Nah, let's make it bigahh!
[laugh track]
Beardy Dad: Excuse me, what are you doing?
CeX Worker 2: Oh, I'm just making the prices for these old Nintendo games bigger. Is that a problem?
Beardy Dad: No, no, I just didn't know they were worth all that money. That's more expensive than Hannah Montana DVD box sets!
[laugh track]
CeX Worker 2: You interested in buying them?
Beardy Dad: Well, uh… no. Thanks for asking though.
CeX Worker 2: Aw, that's a shame because-
[Beardy Dad takes his wallet out.]
Beardy Dad: Alright you've twisted my arm.
[Laugh track. Cut back to CeX Worker cleaning a disc with alcohol behind the counter.]
CeX Worker: -and that is how you clean a dirty disc-
[The CeX Worker looks back at Paul to find him eating a Pot Noodle as he stares off into the distance at SpongeBot.]
CeX Worker: Are you even listening?!
[laugh track]
Mr. Renaud: Uh yeah. Good stuff this is.
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: Eh, I guess it doesn't matter anyway. At the end of the day all we pride ourselves on is selling Wii Chess with a free 24 month warranty.
[laugh track]
Mr. Renaud: A 24 month warranty?! That's like longer than a 23 month warranty!
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: I know! And if you order online on the CeX website-
Mr. Renaud: Alright, I like Wii Chess as much as the next guy but enough paid sponsorship.
[Cut to Aaron looking through the CDs. Applause and cheers.]
Aaron: Huh. Weezer (Green Album). I like that one.
[Laugh track. A penguin approaches him. The audience cheers even louder.]
Golfpecks: You people disgust me.
[laugh track]
Aaron: Huh?
Golfpecks: Music is the enemy of the people!
[laugh track]
Aaron: Chill man, it's just Weezer (Green Album).
[laugh track]
Golfpecks: I don't care what colour it is, it's unproductive and against the word of God! 
[laugh track]
Aaron: Then why are you in this shop?
Golfpecks: Because I must spread the word and re-educate you damn fools… They don't sell 5G in here yet, do they?
[Laugh track. Cut to Beardy Dad dumping a large pile of games on the counter.]
Beardy Dad: I'll be taking all these.
[Laugh track. Paul takes the games and goes to locate the discs. Pan over to Jess at the counter next to him. Cheers.]
Beardy Dad: This place is weird.
Jess: You’re hot.
[laugh track]
Beardy Dad: So, uh… what you doing in here?
Jess: Oh, just returning some dumb game.
Beardy Dad: Why? What's wrong with it?
[Cut to Jess at her home on her Switch.]
Jess: Oh damn I am so ready to play the new Pokemon!
Professor Oak: Now, are you a boy or a girl?
[Cut back to the present.]
Jess: I think it's broken.
[Laugh track. Paul returns to the counter.]
Mr. Renaud: Okay, I managed to track most of them down but unfortunately I can't find the disc for We Dare anywhere.
Beardy Dad: Not We Dare!
[laugh track]
Mr. Renaud: We must have misplaced it, sorry.
Beardy Dad: For losing a game as precious as that you better be!
[Cut back to Aaron and Golfpecks at the CD section.]
Aaron: So if there was a Church music CD in here you'd like that?
[laugh track]
Golfpecks: I guess.
Aaron: I could help with that.
[SpongeBot approaches them.]
SpongeBot: Ah shit they have the Flintstones Movie soundtrack!
[Golfpecks punches SpongeBot to the floor.]
Golfpecks: THE FLINTSTONES MOVIE IS THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE!
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: oh hi aaron
Aaron: Hey, what was that for?!
Golfpecks: It's historically inaccurate and poisoning children's minds!
SpongeBot: But it's a good film-
Golfpecks: LIES! LIES! LIES!
[Laugh track. Beardy Dad approaches them with a heavy plastic bag.]
Beardy Dad: You sure have a lot of weird friends, eh daughter?
Golfpecks: I am not her friend! Friends are unproductive!
[Laugh track. Cut back to Paul and CeX Worker behind the counter.]
CeX Worker: Hey Paul, does that kid over there look familiar to you?
Mr. Renaud: [grins] Ohhhhhh, every kid looks familiar to me! 
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: No, I mean I swear I know her from somewhere. And for some reason every time I look at her I'm filled with anger!
Mr. Renaud: Every time I look at her my pants are filled with-
CeX Worker: And that man who just bought all that stuff. I swear that must be her father! I just can't put my- oh shit.
Mr. Renaud: What's the matt-
CeX Worker: [yelling] YOU!
Aaron: soulja boy tell em
[laugh track]
SpongeBot: Who? Me?
CeX Worker: Yes, you! You really think you can sneak up on me like this at my own workplace?
SpongeBot: what the fuck
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: [laughs] I see what you're doing!
SpongeBot: really because i don't 
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: Don't play dumb, SpongeBot.
SpongeBot: im not playing i just think everyones high this episode or something, well, higher than usual anyway
[laugh track]
CeX Worker: Oh, maybe THIS will help you remember!!
[The CeX Worker takes off their uniform revealing Chip Rockefeller. The audience gasps in suspense.]
All: [gasp] Chip Rockefeller?!
SpongeBot: MY SWORN ARCH-NEMESIS!
Chip Rockefeller: That's right!
SpongeBot: After all these years I still haven't forgiven you for what you did in Rock Vegas! 
[laugh track]
Chip Rockefeller: Oh yeah? And what about-
[SpongeBot charges towards Chip. Laugh track.]
Chip Rockefeller: oh no
[SpongeBot and Chip start wrestling throughout the shop. The Benny Hill theme starts playing in the background. Laugh track. Everyone else in the shop stares motionless. Aaron takes out his smartphone and starts recording.]
[SpongeBot and Chip are now throwing PS2 games towards each other like shurikens.]
Mr. Renaud: This isn't the kind of action I was hoping for today.
[Chip punches SpongeBot into the CD shelf, knocking it over. Golfpecks cheers.]
Golfpecks: [cheering] Chip! Chip! Chip! Chip!
[The ship's manager comes out, taking a large cigarette out of their mouth.]
Manager: WHAT THE-
[laugh track]
Golfpecks: We're winning!
[Laugh track. SpongeBot gets back up and picks up a Wii Remote and Nunchuck.]
SpongeBot: I'm not scared to use this!
[laugh track]
Beardy Dad: Hey daughter, how about something more… traditional.
[Beardy Dad passes SpongeBot her axe.]
SpongeBot: Oh yeah.
Beardy Dad: I knew I carried it on me for a reason.
[Laugh track. SpongeBot charges towards Chip with her axe.]
Chip Rockefeller: SpongeBot, what are you doing with that ax-
[The audience laughs as SpongeBot brutally murders Chip Rockefeller.]
SpongeBot: There, I think I made my point.
[The music stops and the audience cheers. Vanessa enters the shop.]
Vanessa: Oh I can't wait to go into-
[They notice the dead corpse on the floor and slowly back out. Laugh track.]
Manager: Well, uh… y'know I'm not really sure what just happened.
Aaron: Are any of us?
[laugh track]
Manager: But I do know that whatever you did was probably a good thing.
[laugh track]
Manager: And so to show my gratitude, please accept my offer and take home anything in the store you want.
[Cheers.]
SpongeBot: Anything?
Manager: Anything.
[Cut to SpongeBot and Beardy Dad on the way home.]
SpongeBot: I got Flingsmash.
[The audience laughs and applauds as the episode ends.]
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