Stuck in Sinnoh

is the first episode of Pokémon Clueless Edition. It is written by RTA fan and first aired in May 2017.
==Synopsis==
Generic Johnson and Satomi Yamauchi end up in the Pokémon region of Sinnoh after a couple of incidents and end up going through the regions.
==Transcript==
Somewhere in Hackensack, New Jersey...
A man is seen getting up and rubbing his head. He looks around the apartment he slept in to see a lot of party accessories as a woman wakes up next to him.
:Woman: Good morning, Generic.
Generic blinks rapidly.
:Generic: That was a bizarre birthday party.
:Woman: You think?
Generic smirks.
:Generic: Did we...?
:Woman: You remember the party but not that we slept together?
:Generic: Obviously.
The woman smirks as Generic gets out of bed and puts his clothes on.
:Generic: I'll talk to you whenever I can.
The woman nods as Generic leaves the apartment. He then goes down the street, doing what he normally does before coming across a wizard.
:Generic: Bro, Halloween's not for another five months, the fuck are you doing?
:Wizard: What's Halloween?
:Generic: You're fucking kidding me, right? You live here and you don't know what the fuck Halloween is?
:Wizard: Sir, do you have any idea who's you're talking to?
:Generic: Not really, no.
The wizard raises his eyebrows.
:Wizard: I can do things you would never expect to happen
:Generic: Oh please! I've lived on this planet for 18 years and the past year and a half have been dominated by fucking superpowers! I've seen telekinesis, pyrokinesis, you name a power, I've fucking seen it! What can you do that I haven't fucking seen?!
The wizard is shown to be visibly angry as he casts a spell as Generic vanishes.
----
Generic is seen face down in grass as he looks up, realising he isn't in New Jersey anymore.
:Generic: What the fuck?
Generic looks around, baffled as a young woman is seen coming out of a portal. She grunts as she hits the ground. She quickly gets up and looks around.
:Young woman: Where am I?
:Generic: Yo!
The young woman looks over to see Generic, and walks over to him.
:Young woman: Where are we?
:Generic: I have no-
A boy then collides with Generic, knocking him and the woman over.
:Generic: Hey, you piece of shit!
Generic chases the boy and grabs him by the collar. The young woman follows.
:Generic: We need answers. 1. Where are we? 2. Who the fuck are you? And 3. What the fuck's your deal?!
:Boy: 1. You're in Sinnoh-
The young woman hears this and lets out a high-pitched scream, which causes Generic and the boy to jump back, startled by her glee.
:Generic: You alright there?
:Young woman: I'm in the Pokémon world! Of course I am!
:Generic: The fuck's the Pokémon world?
:Boy: This world. It's inhabited by Pokémon, hence the name.
Generic looks befuddled as the young woman puts her hand out.
:Young woman: Satomi Yamauchi.
:Boy: B-Barry.
:Generic: Generic Johnson.
The three shake hands as Generic and Satomi ponder about what to do.
----
Generic and Satomi are seen walking out onto Route 201 as they look around.
:Generic: Right. You're a Pokémon nerd, what do we do now?
:Satomi: We try and go into the long grass but get stopped by Professor Rowan.
:Generic: Why though?
:Satomi: Because Barry.
:Voice: Hey! There's no need for that!
Generic and Satomi turn around to see a Ledian behind them. They both scream.
:Generic: What the fuck's this mutant fucking ladybug doing here?!
:Ledian: Who you calling a mutant?
:Generic: You!
:Satomi: Generic, calm down. It's just a Ledian.''
:Ledian: I prefer Ledio, actually. Flown around all the regions and never really found anyone to go on adventures with. You two seem like fun guys to travel with though.
:Satomi: Aw, thanks! Just don't try and surprise or upset Generic though. He's really prone to swearing, and I know this from only spending about 10 minutes with him.
:Ledio: Right. I'll be on the lookout for that. So, you guys local?
:Satomi: Oh, hell no. I'm from Japan and Generic's from New Jersey.
:Ledio: Where and where?
:Satomi: ...Okay, I had that one coming my way. We come from Earth. It's a planet rather far away from here.
:Ledio: Oh, okay. So, what brought you to Sinnoh?
:Generic: I hurt a "wizard"'s feelings.
:Satomi: My sister has some magical powers that transported me here.
:Ledio: Huh.
:Generic: We have no clue why we were brought here though.
Satomi looks past Ledio to see Rowan and his assistant, who appears to be holding a briefcase. She jumps up in excitement.
:Generic: What?
:Satomi: Rowan's coming!
Generic looks to see Rowan.
:Generic: And that means...?
:Satomi: His assistant has a briefcase and it should have 3 Pokémon in it. We should be able to pick one.
:Generic: Huh.
Rowan eventually reaches the trio.
:Rowan: Are you in need of a Pokémon?
:Generic: Nah, we're-
Satomi stomps on Generic's foot, causing him to wince.
:Satomi: Yes, sir.
Rowan signals to his assistant to open the briefcase, and she does begrudgingly. Three Poké Balls are shown as Satomi picks the one on the left.
:Rowan: Are you sure you want that one?
Satomi nods and opens the ball to see a Turtwig.
:Generic: Damn, you really remember this stuff well, don't you?
:Satomi: Yup!
Satomi hugs the Turtwig as Rowan and his assistant walk off.
----
Generic, Ledio and Satomi are seen walking, with Satomi still holding the Turtwig as they go near a lake.
:Satomi: There's supposed to be a legendary Pokémon here somewhere.
:Ledio: Bit early for that, isn't it?
:Satomi: Yeah, but still.
:Generic: Who's the crazy guy right on the edge of the lake?
Generic points to a man who appears to be talking. The three can't figure out what he's saying as he turns to walk away, and notices Generic, Satomi and Ledio. He then walks by, shoving Generic out of the way.
:Generic: Hey, fuck you!
Generic runs and tackles the man as he punches them in the face.
:Generic: Who the fuck do you think you are to shove me?!
Ledio leans over to Satomi.
:Ledio: (whispering) I get what you meant by not upsetting him now.
Satomi smirks.
:Man: You don't want to know who I am.
:Generic: Oh yes, I fucking do!
:Satomi: Generic, just calm down.
:Generic: Fuck no, man!
Satomi and Ledio look at each other as they pull Generic off the man, who walks away.
:Man: Cuckoo!
:Generic: I heard that!
Generic runs after the man again, but trips over Satomi's Turtwig.
:Generic: Fuck.
Generic gets up and brushes himself off as they hear the cry of Mesprit.
:Generic: What the hell?
:Satomi: That was the cry of Mesprit. The Pokémon that lives in that lake.
:Ledio: We can't exactly catch it right now. We don't have any balls.
:Generic: I have-
:Satomi: I'm going to stop you there.
Generic mumbles as the three go off to the next town.
----
Generic, Satomi and Ledio are seen walking through a route.
:Generic: What's the point of this grass?
:Ledio: Wild Pokémon hide in it. If you aren't careful, they jump out and attack you. That's why it's usually for the best if you have a Pokémon on you. I used to live in this sort of grass before I embarked on a journey around the world. Of course, not here. I'm from Johto. The best region.
:Satomi: I dunno, I like here most. Although that might be bias. This region looks roughly like my home island. Plus the Pokémon here are cute!
Satomi holds up her Turtwig.
:Ledio: Fair enough.
The three get out of the long grass as they arrive in the next town.
:Generic: Sandgem Town.
:Satomi: Oh, hey! Rowan's lab should be here!
:Generic: Is it that gigantic building over there?
Generic points to a large-ish building with "Rowan's Pokemon Lab" in large letters.
:Satomi: Yes.
:Generic: They've put that writing up there like it's a fucking tourist attraction!
:Ledio: To be fair, living in the same town as a renowned Pokémon professor would feel like meeting... uh...
:Satomi: LeBron James. Or Makoto Nagano.
:Generic: Oh. Huh. Guess it would feel pretty cool, then.
The three walk to the building and see Rowan.
:Satomi: Professor Rowan?
Rowan turns around.
:Rowan: Oh, hello. I'm assuming you've come up with a nickname for your Turtwig?
:Satomi: Nah, I don't think I'm gonna give it a nickname.
:Rowan: Oh, okay. It's sort of a good reason you came, actually.
Rowan picks up two oval-shaped items and gives them to Generic and Satomi.
:Rowan: I want you two to fill these out. They're Pokédexes.
Satomi's eyes go wide. Rowan turns to Generic.
:Rowan: (whispering) Is she okay?
:Generic: Oh yeah. Just give it about five seconds.
Satomi starts shaking as she then jumps up about three feet in the air, screaming with excitement. Rowan jumps back, scared.
:Satomi: Thank you so much for this opportunity, I love Pokémon!
Satomi hugs Rowan very tightly.
:Rowan: Oh! Uh, you're welcome.
Generic takes a look at the Pokédex.
:Generic: How the fuck does this thing know I've seen a "Turtwig" already?
:Rowan: Well... uh...
Satomi lowers her eyebrows, seeming to be in deep thought.
:Generic: It says I've seen Mesprit too.
:Satomi: That's... probably from when we were at the lake. I saw the tail of Mesprit.
Generic shrugs.
:Rowan: you two should probably tell your parents you're going on an adventure.
:Generic: Fat chance of that happening. They're on another planet.
Rowan lowers his eyebrows.
:Satomi: He's not kidding. They are literally on another planet.
:Rowan: Well then.
Generic, Ledio and Satomi begin to walk out.
:Rowan: Wait!
Generic and Satomi turn around.
:Rowan: For future reference, what're your names?
:Generic: Generic Johnson.
:Satomi: Satomi Yamauchi.
:Rowan: Right.
Generic, Ledio and Satomi then walk out of the lab.
----
Satomi and Generic are seen walking up to Jubilife City as Generic looks up at the Jubilife TV tower.
:Generic: Where are we now?
:Satomi: Jubilife City. There should be a Trainers' School around here. I think you could benefit from it.
:Generic: Fuck no! I've graduated already, I'm not going back in your wildest dreams! I've got you anyway.
:Satomi: That's true, I guess.
Generic looks around as he notices a man hiding behind a lamp post.
:Generic: Yo, Satomi.
:Satomi: Huh?
:Generic: Who's this nut job?
Satomi looks at the man, who attempts to run to a lamp post on the other side of the street.
:Generic: Hey, trench coat!
The man stops and looks at Generic and Satomi.
:Man: Ah! How did you spot me?
:Generic: You weren't exactly subtle, bro. You need to be a stickman to hide behind those lamp posts. Or completely two dimensional.
:Man: How did you know I'm in the International Police?
Generic tilts his head to the side.
:Generic: Whaaaaat?
:Satomi: You still sure you don't need the Trainers' School?
Generic is too baffled by what the man has said to respond.
:Satomi: Generic...?
Satomi waves her hand in front of Generic's face. She looks at the man.
:Satomi: Satomi Yamauchi.
:Man: I'd give you my name, but instead, I shall give you my code name. Looker.
Satomi shakes Looker's hand, who then runs away. Satomi then looks at Generic, who finally snaps out of his speechlessness.
:Generic: What the fuck's the International Police?!
:Satomi: I'll tell you on the way to the next city.
The two then continue to walk.
----
Satomi, Ledio and Generic are seen coming out of a cave, arriving at Oreburgh City. Generic stretches as Satomi is seen looking around.
:Satomi: It's gotta be here somewhere...
:Generic: Huh?
:Satomi: I'm looking for a Gym. It's in this city somewhere.
:Generic: This place has a gym? Sick!
:Satomi: No, no, no. It's not that kind of-
Generic pulls his shirt up to show a six-pack. Satomi then gets flustered.
:Satomi: It's- uh- a- uh-
:Ledio: I'll take it from here, Satomi. Basically, Pokémon Gyms are ways of testing your Pokémon's abilities. If you beat the Gym leader, you get a badge.
:Generic: Aw.
Ledio turns to Satomi.
:Ledio: You less flustered now?
:Satomi: Y-yeah. I think.
The three walk through the city.
:Ledio: So how does Earth compare to this?
:Generic: There's less superpowered people, it seems. so that's a shit ton off my chest.
:Ledio: How?
:Satomi: Back on Earth there's superpowers everywhere. It's like Pokémon, but the attacks come out of the humans.
:Ledio: What do you mean everywhere?
:Generic: What did the most recent superhero movie here make?
:Ledio: 3.4 trillion Pokédollars.
Ledio stops and thinks about this.
:Ledio: Holy shit.
:Generic: Exactly. Anyone with a superpower on Earth is treated like a minor celebrity.
:Satomi: They have good intentions though. Most of the time. The biggest names for heroes are probably Amy Jackson and Krystal Pérez.
Generic starts to smirk when Satomi mentions Krystal.
:Ledio: What's he smirking at?
:Satomi: A lot of guys back home find Krystal... what's the word...
:Generic: Smokin' fuckin' hot.
:Satomi: That.
Satomi finds the Gym and runs to it quickly. She attempts to open the door but cannot.
:Satomi: Aw, man.
Ledio notices a note on the Gym.
:Ledio: "If you want to challenge me, find me in the Oreburgh Mine - Roark".
Satomi frowns as she looks around the city.
:Satomi: Found it!
Satomi then runs off to the mines, dragging Generic and Ledio by their arms.
----
A somewhat grim-looking mine is shown, with water dripping from all around. Satomi is shown walking down into the mine.
:Satomi: Mr. Roark?
Satomi looks around and notices Generic and Ledio aren't with her.
:Satomi: Odd.
Ledio is then shown, with Generic's head popping out of a pile of rocks.
:Ledio: Come on, man!
:Generic: I don't trust mines. My dad died in one when I was 4 and I'm not fucking willing to meet a similar fate.
:Ledio: Like hiding in a pile of fucking rocks is going to be any better. These could probably crush you.
Generic wriggles around as he pulls out a disc.
:Generic: What the hell is this?
:Ledio: That's a Technical Machine, or TM. You give it to a Pokémon and they can learn the move inside the disc.
:Generic: Huh. Sweet.
Generic then shoves the disc in Ledio's mouth, who spits it out instantly.
:Ledio: I can't learn that move, you idiot!
Generic gets out of the rocks quickly as he picks the TM up off the floor.
:Generic: Satomi'll know who can learn it, probably.
Satomi is then shown coming out of the mine with Roark, who walks back to the Gym.
:Satomi: Where were you guys?
:Ledio: Turns out Generic has an irrational fear of mines. He hid in the rocks over there and found a TM.
:Satomi: Ooh! Let me see what it's for!
Generic passes the TM over to Satomi.
:Satomi: Eww, it's sticky!
:Ledio: Yeah, Generic thought it'd be a good idea to shove it in my mouth.
Satomi grimaces as she sees "26".
:Satomi: Oh! It's the TM for Earthquake! But... what's it doing here?
:Ledio: I don't know. We just found it in those rocks.
:Satomi: Huh. Anyway, we can go and take on Roark now!
:Generic: Sick.
The three then walk off to the Oreburgh Gym.
:Generic: Are you sure there isn't any fitness stuff in these gyms?
----
Satomi is seen running into Oreburgh Gym as Generic and Ledio follow.
:Generic: How do you move so fast?!
:Satomi: I used to run all over Tokyo Zoo to see all the animals, that's how. It kept me in good shape.
Generic looks around the gym and much to his displeasure, there is no gym equipment.
:Generic: Why do they call these gyms anyway?
:Ledio: They test your Pokémon's strength, that's why.
Generic frowns as he looks around for something. Satomi rolls her eyes.
:Satomi: Just, try and get a badge, Yamauchi. You know what to do, so just do it.
A montage is then shown, with Generic constantly trying to find something to train on while Satomi plows down trainers with her Turtwig. Eventually, Satomi reaches Roark.
:Roark: Right, I'm ready to--
Roark looks to see Generic doing pull-ups on the ceiling.
:Roark: How on Earth did your friend get up there?!
Satomi looks to see Generic.
:Satomi: For God's sake Generic, get down from there!
:Generic: But--
:Satomi: Now!
:Generic: Aw, fine. Ledio!
Ledio flies up and hooks Generic's arms as he brings him back to the ground.
:Ledio: Told you she'd notice.
:Generic: Shut up.
Satomi turns back around to Roark.
:Satomi: Anyway. I'm ready to--
Satomi looks down to see Roark's Pokémon have already been knocked out. Satomi falls silent.
:Roark: Well, uh... I guess you win?
Roark puts his head in his hand as he gives Satomi the Coal Badge. Satomi quivers as she screams in excitement, to the point the walls vibrate. She picks up her Turtwig as she hugs it tightly.
:Generic: What the fuck just happened?
:Ledio: Satomi just got her first badge.
:Generic: And that means...?
:Ledio: She's got seven more badges until she can fight the Elite Four, the best trainers in the region.
:Generic: Huh.
Satomi clears her throat as she walks down to Generic and Ledio.
:Satomi: Right. Onto the next city!
The trio then walk out of the Gym and head off somewhere else.
----
Generic and Satomi are seen in Jubilife City again.
:Generic: Why are we back here again, exactly?
:Satomi: The next town's north of here. We needed the badge from Oreburgh because there's rocks blocking the way.
:Generic: Oh, please! I could probably shift the rocks with my bare hands!
:Satomi: ...You're making me realise how over-reliant these people are on Pokémon.
Generic smirks as they come across two men in unusual suits harassing Rowan.
:Generic: What the fuck's up with their clothing?
:Satomi: That's Team Galactic. They're the regional bad guys, if you will.
:Generic: If there's a bad guy for every region, how shit's the police here?
Satomi goes into deep thought as Rowan spots Generic and Satomi.
:Rowan: Generic! Satomi! Teach these buffoons a lesson in civility!
:Generic: How, exactly?
:Rowan: Battle them!
:Generic: The fuck's civil about beating the shit out of someone?
:Satomi: A Pokémon battle, Generic.
:Generic: Oh!
Ledio comes down and gets in fighting stance as Satomi gets her Turtwig out. The two then leap at the men.
:Man #1: Argh! What the hell?!
:Rowan: Wow, this is more savage than I was anticipating.
:Generic: Join the club.
Ledio and Satomi's Turtwig keep attacking until eventually, the men submit.
:Man #2: Fine! We give up! You're lucky, Professor Rowan.
The two men then walk away.
:Rowan: That was... quite the battle.
:Generic: Can that even be classed as a battle? 'Cause all I saw was a mauling.
:Satomi: Yeah, that was brutal to watch.
:Rowan: Whatever. The point is, you saved me and I have to pay you back somehow.
:Satomi: Oh, you don't have to, Mr. Rowan! We should be fine.
:Rowan: Oh, okay.
Rowan then spots the Coal Badge on Satomi's hoodie.
:Rowan: Say, why don't you take on the Pokémon League?
:Satomi: That was my plan this whole time, to be honest.
:Rowan: Oh. Anyway, I must get back to the lab. Enjoy your journey.
Rowan walks off as Generic and Satomi look at each other.
:Generic: Do you just wanna check into a hotel and call it a day?
:Satomi: Sure.
Generic and Satomi go off to find a hotel to sleep in as Ledio and Satomi's Turtwig follow.
----
Satomi is seen lying on a bed in a hotel, seemingly exhausted from the events of the day.
:Satomi: What a day. We ended up here, we met a Pokémon Professor, we met Team Galactic, we got a gym badge...
Satomi looks over to see Generic walking into the room, who now has a black eye.
:Satomi: What the hell happened to your eye?!
:Generic: I tried getting some drinks at the bar downstairs and the bartender punched me in the face because I may or may not have said something about his mother.
:Satomi: Sounds about right for you. Did you get the drinks?
:Generic: Yeah.
Generic tosses a can of lemonade over to Satomi, who catches it.
:Satomi: Did you know Pokémon can drink this?
:Generic: ...Why, though?
:Satomi: I honestly have no idea. I've played all the Pokémon games and that's always baffled me.
Generic smirks as he opens his can and takes a sip.
:Satomi: So tomorrow, we go up to Floaroma Town. The next gym's in the city after Floaroma but from what I know, Galactic are blocking that route off
:Generic: They'll probably drop off to sleep and we could probably get past 'em if we're up early enough.
:Satomi: Believe me, most people here don't sleep. Everyone has weirdly exceptional perseverance when it comes to sleep here.
:Generic: Huh.
:Satomi: We should be fine though. We have Ledio and my Turtwig.
:Generic: True.
Generic spots a newspaper with the headline "Man Has Six Magikarps, Can't Find Out Why He Never Wins Battles".
:Generic: What kind of headline's that?
:Satomi: Hmm?
Generic passes the newspaper to Satomi.
:Satomi: Oh. Well, Magikarp are the most useless species in the whole Pokémon world. They evolve into a pretty badass Pokémon though, if you have the patience to raise it.
:Generic: How badass we talkin'?
Satomi Googles "Gyarados" and shows the first result to Generic.
:Generic: Holy shit!
:Satomi: Exactly.
Generic sits down on his bed.
:Satomi: Why are you called Generic, anyway?
:Generic: I honestly don't know. My mom says my dad burst into the maternity ward when I was born and said I looked like a generic baby and the name stuck, but that sounds like bullshit.
Satomi giggles.
:Generic: What?
:Satomi: Thinking of your name coming from your dad insulting you as a baby sounds kind of hilarious.
:Generic: Heh. Guess it does.
:Satomi: Anyway, we should sleep. Got another big day ahead of us tomorrow.
Generic nods as he turns the light off and gets into his bed. Generic then screams and leaps out of bed, turning the light back on.
:Satomi: What?
:Generic: There's something in my fucking bed!
Ledio then sits up.
:Ledio: It's just me, man.
:Generic: You're on the fucking couch, man!
:Ledio: Fine.
Ledio flies over to the couch and falls asleep on it as Generic turns the light off again and goes to sleep.
----
Generic is shown sleeping as a person taps him on the shoulder. He looks to see it is shown to be the wizard who got him trapped in Sinnoh.
:Generic: What.
The wizard smirks and flips two middle fingers. Generic punches the wizard in the face as he disappears.
:Generic: Shit!
Generic sighs.
:Generic: This is gonna be a long, long journey.
==Reception==
TBA
==Trivia==
TBA
Category:Episodes
Category:RTA's Things
Category:Subpages
Category:2017
Category:Pokémon (series)
Category:Pokémon Clueless Edition
Category:Transcripts