South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut/Trailer transcripts

==Teaser Trailer (VHS)==
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(Paramount Pictures logo)
Narrator: As we near the millennium, the tools for visual effects and animation are evolving at an exponential rate. This spring, Paramount Pictures is proud to present the latest technological achievement in film animation. The top animation minds from around the world have collaborated with the top foreign animators from Japan with a budget of over $630 million to bring you the most advanced animation ever seen by the human eye.
Eric Cartman: I will do the German dance for you. It's fun, and gay, and tra-la-la! Hope you will enjoy my dance, Fidli! Fidli! Ah, ey!
SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT
(A black background and a "South Park" logo, then the "Bigger, Longer, & Uncut" logo zooms on the "South Park" logo, with Tommy Cat by Primus plays)
Cartman: ****, dude. I'm huge!
COMING 1999
(A black background with the "Coming 1999" text and Paramount Pictures logo.)
==Teaser Trailer (DVD)==
thumb|right|335 px
(Paramount Pictures logo)
Narrator: As we near the millennium, the tools for visual effects and animation are evolving at an exponential rate. This spring, Paramount Pictures is proud to present the latest technological achievement in film animation. The top animation minds from around the world have collaborated with the top foreign animators from Japan with a budget of over $630 million to bring you the most advanced animation ever seen by the human eye.
Eric Cartman: I will do the German dance for you. It's fun, and gay, and tra-la-la! Hope you will enjoy my dance, Fidli! Fidli! Ah, ey!
SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT
(A black background and a "South Park" logo, then the "Bigger, Longer, & Uncut" logo zooms on the "South Park" logo, with Tommy Cat by Primus plays)
Cartman: Who the **** are you people?
COMING 1999
(A black background with the "Coming 1999" text and Paramount Pictures logo.)
==International Trailer==
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(Warner Bros. and Paramount Pictures Logo)
Narrator: As we near the millennium, the tools for visual effects and animation are evolving at an exponential rate. Now, Warner Bros. is proud to present the latest technological achievement in film animation. The top animation minds from around the world have collaborated with the top foreign animators from Japan with a budget of over $630 million to bring you the most advanced animation ever seen by the human eye.
Eric Cartman: Get down, Disco Sensation, set the night on fire! Disco Sensation!
SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT
(A black background and a "South Park" logo, then the "Bigger, Longer, & Uncut" logo zooms on the "South Park" logo, with Tommy Cat by Primus plays)
Cartman: Oh, boy. This is not gonna be pretty.
COMING SOON
(A black background with the "Coming Soon" text and Warner Bros./Paramount Pictures logo.)
==Trailer #1==
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Narrator: Once upon a time, a man drew a little mouse and his animated vision enchanted children of all ages. This summer, that man will be spinning in his grave.
Eric Cartman: Nooooo, why, god, why!?!
Narrator: Paramount Pictures and Warner Bros. present...
Kenny: (taking his hood off)
Stan: Dude!
Cartman: Sweet.
Narrator: South Park.
Stan: This is gonna be the best movie ever!
Kids: Hooray!
Narrator: Invading...
Mr. Garrison: Eric! Did you just say the F-word??
Shelia: Did he say the S-word?!
Mr. Mackey: Young man, did you just say the Q-word?
Kids: (laughing)
Mr. Mackey: We have to get you children off the foul language.
Narrator: ...your theatre.
Dr. Vosknocker: The machinery of the V-chip emits a small shock of electricity whenever an obscenity is uttered.
Kids: (gasp)
Narrator: This summer...
Kyle: You're late, Cartman!
Cartman: I had to ride my bike, my behind is killing me.
Kyle: Your behind?
Cartman: I had to say behind cause I get shock if I say--
(Cartman gets shocked)
Terrance and Phillip: (laughs)
Narrator: Kyle Broflovski...
Kyle: This is sweet.
Narrator: Stan Marsh...
Stan: Where did they come up with this stuff?
Narrator: Eric Cartman...
(Cartman gets shocked)
Cartman: This movie has warped my fragile little mind.
Narrator: Kenny McCormick...
(Kenny arriving at Heaven)
Narrator: Chef...
Chef: Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
General: I don't listen to hip-hop.
Narrator: Satan...
Satan: Is sex the only thing that matters to you?
Kids: Yeah!
Saddam: I love you.
Narrator: and Big Gay Al.
Big Gay Al: You big sillies! Hahaha.
Narrator: On June 30...
Shelia: Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison!
Mr. Garrison: Hey, I'm supposed to be anonymous.
Narrator: It's not just another day in the park.
Dr. Doctor: Son, we... accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live.
Kenny: (What?!) [the potato explodes]
Narrator: South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.
Cartman: Tell 'em we'll have punch and pie.
Kyle: We're not gonna have punch and pie!
Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie!
Kids: Ooh!
Clyde: We've got to see this movie, dude!
(a black background appears with the "June 30" text and Paramount Pictures print logo, Warner Bros. print logo, Comedy Central print logo, "Soundtrack album available at Atlantic Records" text, and film website)
==Trailer #2==
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Narrator: In a world fraught with corruption...
Kids: (laughing)
Mr. Garrison: Eric! Did you just say the F-word??
Shelia: Did he say the S-word?!
Mr. Mackey: Young man, did you just say the Q-word?
Narrator: Four young boys united by fate.
Dr. Vosknocker: The machinery of the V-chip emits a small shock whenever an obscenity is uttered.
Cartman: This isn't fair, you sons of **tches-aaagh! [bzzzt]
Narrator: Torn apart by destiny...
Stan: Viva la Resistance!
Narrator: Somewhere between love... and honor, between courage and not courage, between Kansas and Utah, there lies... South Park. Kyle Broflovski...
Kyle: Sick!
Stan: Is it Cartman's mom?
Cartman: Oh, very funny.
Kyle: It is Cartman's mom!
Narrator: Stan Marsh...
Stan: But this is gonna be the best movie ever. It's a foreign film, from Canada.
Narrator: Saddam Hussein...
Satan: Is sex the only thing that matters to you?
Saddam: I love you.
Narrator: Kenny McCormick...
Kenny: (taking his hood off)
Narrator: Big Gay Al.
Big Gay Al: (appears in a star-spangled outfit.) ♪ I'm super! Thanks for asking. ♪
Narrator: And Eric Cartman.
Cartman: Yes, yes, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. Who wants to touch me? (Brief silence) I said who wants to touch me?!
Butters: (touches Cartman) Ooh.
(A black background and a "South Park" logo, then the "Bigger, Longer, & Uncut" logo zooms on the "South Park" logo)
Narrator: All **** breaks loose.
(a brief montage, hearing an off-screen scream, then it cuts to a black background with the Paramount Pictures print logo, Warner Bros. print logo, Comedy Central print logo, "Soundtrack album available at Atlantic Records" text, and film website)
Cartman: This movie has warped my fragile little mind. (camera zoom out on Cartman's eyes)
Category:Trailer transcripts