Villain Pub: Evil and Ham

==Plot==
In one world, Taylor Hebert became a villain by accident. In another, Taylor gets some mentoring in villainy. (HISHE)
==Transcript==
Evil and Ham
Taylor wasn’t sure where she was. The last thing she had remembered was choking on that…that filth that the Trio had shoved her into. The young teen shuddered as the feeling of wet garbage sliding all over her flesh as bugs climbed around her body. She remembered screaming for help until her voice went sore and her fists were covered in caked blood from smashing them against her locker door and then…nothing.
Taylor pushed herself off the cold stone floor and took a look at her surroundings. She appeared to be in some kind of room. A solid stone door stood behind her just above some stairs while another door laid just in front of her. She swallowed nervously as tested the stone door, pushing against the cold rock, but it remained immobile.
“Hello…is anyone there,” she asked, glancing around the room.
“Identify yourself,” a cold, emotionless voiced called out. Taylor whirled around towards the source of the voice, finding herself facing some kind of device on the side of the other door. A single red lens glared out at her and Taylor felt a flash of fear pass through her. Was she being watched through some kind of camera?
“I’m Taylor,” she said, then silently cursed herself for giving out her real name. She lived in Brockton Bay, she knew better than to give out her name to strangers. Still, perhaps this person would let her out of wherever this was. “Can you let me out of here?”
There was a brief pause as if the person on the other end of the line was considering her words. Taylor couldn’t suppress a shudder at the cold gaze of that lone red eye. It almost seemed to glare at her with a level of malice that even Sophia or Emma couldn’t bring to bear. When the voice finally spoke up her hopes of having this resolved quickly and painlessly were dashed like ocean waves against the seashore.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Taylor.”
“Why not?” she asked, trying to keep the cold vice of fear from entering her voice. It was taking everything she had to keep herself from screaming uncontrollably. The only reason she hadn’t already done so was her voice was already raw from screaming for help in that putrid locker.
“This establishment is a closely guarded secret. I cannot allow you to compromise its integrity,” the voice said again, as toneless as ever. There was no regret or hesitation in its words, only a cold certainty that she would have to be taken care of somehow. Taylor wasn’t enthused with the idea of finding out how it was going to keep her from blabbing.
“I-I won’t tell anyone. I promise!” She said, words exiting her mouth faster than she could think. All she could think about was getting out of her before the speaker decided what to do to her. As the mounting pit of dread grew in her stomach she realized that she would rather have to deal with the locker every day for the rest of her life than find out what was going to happen to her here.
“The promises of organics are meaningless. You cannot be allowed to leave. I will allow the others to decide what to do with you,” the voice said as if it was deciding how to deal with an irritating bug rather than a living person. Taylor felt a shudder of shock at the mention of “organics”as if it wasn’t one itself, but it was largely overshadowed by her sheer terror of what these “others” were going to do to her.
I’m going to die, Taylor wailed inside her head, hot tears running down her face as the door slid open with an electronic hiss. The young teen screamed as something massive squeezed its way through the doorway, as a pair of reptilian eyes glared down at her. She tried to back away as something that looked like it had come straight from a chelonaphobe’s nightmare reached out for her. She tried to bat the massive hand away, but her fists impotently bounced off its scales like pebbles against steel.
“What’s this now?” A new voice asked. Taylor managed to pull herself out of her fear fueled berserk attack long enough to turn her head towards the new speaker even as her captor said something that she couldn’t understand. The young teenager found herself face to face with an extremely pale man dressed in pitch black robes. The man’s eyes glared at her even as she locked onto his nose, or rather his lack of a nose. In its place were a pair of almost snake-like slits. The last part of Taylor’s still functioning mind finally called quits and shut itself off, knocking the girl out cold into a dead faint.
The last thing Taylor heard before darkness consumed her was the sound of a crackling laugh that sent shivers up her spine.
----
“HA! I told you this was a scary look,” Voldemort said with a smiling sneer. It was all he could do to keep himself from dancing a victory jig. After being mocked for so long over his appearance it was gratifying to see someone recognize the sheer terror it could instill.
“Please, I could have done the same thing, and I didn’t have to lose my nose to do it,” Loki said with a roll of his eyes. The Asgardian Trickster took a sip from his goblet, giving the unconscious girl as curious look as she hung from Bowser’s grip. She didn’t look like much, more skin and bones than anything really.
“Oh really? If your appearance is so terrifying why aren’t you wearing all of it,” Voldemort asked with a sharp glint in his eyes as he gestured to Loki’s exposed skull. Loki flushed and moved to stand up, but was cut off by the sharp crack of Palpatine’s voice.
“Enough. You two can argue later, I’m more concerned with how this civilian managed to find this place,” the Emperor said, his saggy features morphing into a worried expression. His yellow eyes glared down at the girl’s sleeping form, a brief look through her mind revealing nothing of how she had come to this place. “Hal, how did she get past you?”
“I am uncertain at this time. She did not come through the outer door but rather appeared in the middle of the waiting chamber without explanation. It is…vexing,” the evil AI said with something in its tone that might be considered frustration if it was capable of expressing such emotions.
“Hm, magic then?” Joker asked, glancing towards the two magic users.
Voldemort and Loki’s only response was to snort. “Please, if that girl has any magic potential then I’m a washed-up hack,” Voldemort said with a growl as if the mere suggestion that the girl might have magic was an insult to him.
“I thought you already were,” Khan drawled from where he was seated in the back of the bar, pausing his explanation to Kaecilius why he looked so much like his hated rival. Voldemort flushed with anger but was cut off by Palpatine before he could respond. Lightning crackled across the ceiling as the Emperor called upon the powers of the Dark Side to bring attention back to him. Lights flickered and conversations stalled with the display of his might.
“Silence! In case you all haven’t noticed a civilian managed to find her way here. If we don’t know how she did it, then how can we stop others from doing the same. What if it’s a hero next time? We already had enough trouble with Batman,” Palpatine growled out, halting any arguments in their tracks as the patrons of the bar considered his words. There were more than enough villains in the establishment to deal with most heroes if they put their minds to it, but it was a concerning proposition. It was true that they hadn’t had the best luck in dealing with Batman, but he was Batman. The fact that they had managed to capture him had been a plus, though it had cost Palpatine thousands in repairs and being locked inside the bar for the night because they couldn’t get Hal to open those blasted doors!
“So, what? We just wait for her to wake up and answer our questions? Doesn’t seem like much of a plan,” Joker said as he took a sip of his margarita through his little bendy straw.
“I thought you were all about not having a plan,” Loki said with a smirk as the Clown Prince of Crime sputtered for a response.
“Yes, that is exactly what we’re going to do. Nobody leaves here until we know how this happened,” Palpatine said with a tone that booked so disagreement. The villains grumbled but complied. The last thing any of them wanted to do was get kicked out for arguing with the bartender. He was the one that could choose to call in their bar tabs at any time. A moment of silence passed through the bar before the Joker spoke up.
“Say, do you want to know how I got these scars?”
----
Taylor could hear the sound of muttering as she tried to pull herself awake. The voices were unfamiliar to her, but she could only distantly make them out, like trying to listen to a radio through Styrofoam wrapping. With great effort, she managed to pull her eyes open enough to get a look at her surroundings, only for a flash of fear to jolt her awake. Her heart slammed against her ribcage as she whipped her head around, looking for a way out. But instead of finding freedom she found herself surrounded by a group of men.
She tried to make herself appear smaller as they glared down at her with varying expressions. She slid against the red cushion of the booth, but that was all that she accomplished as she tried to avoid their gazes. The only exit she could see was far out of her reach, with them in-between her and it.
“Please don’t kill me,” she said, tears forming in her eyes as she tried to keep herself from blubbering in fear. She didn’t want to have to deal with this, all she wanted to do was go home.
“Please, if we wanted to kill you we would have. No, you’re going to answer some questions,” one man spoke with the kind of voice that one might expect to come from a grandfather. But instead of a kindly old expression, his was twisted into an ugly scowl, only made worse by his overall hideous appearance. Bags of flesh covered his face, almost giving him a melted look as a pair of yellow eyes made her quiver in her shoes. A black robe and hood cast his features in a set of dark shadows, the only break from the color scheme being a purple vest placed on top of it.
It was the kind of look that only a villain would wear.
Oh, she was so dead it wasn’t even funny.
“I’ll tell you whatever you want, please don’t hurt me,” she said with a quivering expression. It was taking everything she had not to faint again, only her fear of something worse happening while she was asleep keeping her awake.
“We aren’t going to get anything out of her like this,” one of the men said, pinching the bridge of his nose with an irritated look. If she wasn’t scared out of her mind she might have called him hot, though the green and gold leather armor did look a bit odd.
“Oh, come on Loki, Bats gets information out of scared crook all the time. How hard could it be?” Another one of her captors asked with a shrug. A pair of very intense eyes stared down at her, surrounded by pitch black skin that only made them stand out even more. The crooked smile and scars were certainly intimidating, and somehow it worked with the clownish look that he had. She had never realized how scary purple and green could be, though that could be her terror talking.
“Do you want to give this a go, Joker?” The scary grandfather asked with a scowl. The clownish-looking man mumbled something she couldn’t make out. “I thought not. I’m going to ask you again girl, how did you find this place?”
“I don’t know!” She shirked, all pretense of control lost as she stared down the three looming men. Somehow, they managed to convey a level of dread that made Sophia’s pale in comparison. “All I remember is being shoved into my locker and waking up here and please don’tkillmeIdon’twanttodie—”
“Gah! Stop talking, I can’t understand a word you’re saying,” the black robed man that she had seen earlier said, snapping her out of her panicked speech. Her jaw clicked shut as she nodded so fast that she felt like a bobblehead. The elderly man sighed, giving her a weary expression.
“Now start from the top, slowly this time,” he said, and Taylor didn’t hesitate to follow his instructions. She wasn’t too keen on finding out what would happen if she made him mad.
So, she told them everything, starting from the basics of the bullying and her best friend’s betrayal. The constant torment culminating in being shoved into a locker filled with things that she didn’t even want to think about to finding herself outside their door. By the time she was done she had managed to keep herself from quaking like a leaf as the group gave her thoughtful looks.
“You know what this sounds like? A villain origin story,” Joker said with an amused smile.
“That’s what I was thinking,” Voldemort said with a nod.
“W-what! I’m not a villain!” Taylor protested, though she quickly clammed her mouth shut once she realized that she had disagreed with them. She doubted that villains like it when you said that they were wrong or contradicted their word. But still, she wasn’t a villain!
“No, no, I think they have the right of it. That sounds like villain origin story material to me,” Loki said, adding in his own two cents.
“But-but I don’t have any powers,” Taylor added, hoping that would dissuade them from this ridiculous notion. But she found her hopes scattered when Joker let out a boisterous crackle that sent shivers up her spine.
“Guess what – neither do I,” he said, pointing to himself with his thumbs. His mouth was stretched into a rather insane smile at his words. Taylor swallowed nervously as she considered the implications. She had never heard of a villain or hero who had no powers, and yet this Joker guy claimed he was nothing more than a normal human? More than that, people who apparently did have powers were treating him as an equal, which either meant they were all lying or the Joker was just that dangerous.
Still, that didn’t help her with her current situation.
“Besides, do you really think we’d buy the whole ‘no powers’ thing with those bugs flying around your head,” Voldemort added, waving a hand above her head.
Taylor glanced up to see that the noseless man was right, there was a rather large group of bugs floating around her head in an agitated state. And now that she thought about it, she could actually feel them too. It was hard to describe, but now that she knew what to look for they felt like extensions of her limbs more than anything, extra parts of her. With a single thought, she made them perform a bunch of complex maneuvers that no bug would do without outside interference.
“Yes, that does rather put a damper on your no power argument, doesn’t it?” Palpatine said with a crackle.
“But I don’t what to run a gang,” Taylor protested, though she wasn’t sure why. Part of her was screaming to keep quiet and let the villains think what they wanted to think so they didn’t kill her, but she just couldn’t help it. While they certainly were more terrifying than Sophia or Emma ever were, the fact that she didn’t actually know them made it easier to stand up to them and voice her own opinion. It was almost refreshing after almost two years of being forced to keep her opinions to herself.
“What does running a gang have to do with being a villain?” Voldemort asked with a quizzical look. The others joined in muttering things that she couldn’t quite catch. As their gazes fell back on her Taylor gulped.
“Well...all the villains in Brockton Bay are part of gangs,” she said in what she hoped was a solid explanation. From the confused looks on their faces, it wasn’t.
“What is this Brockton Bay that you speak of?” Palpatine asked, yellow eyes boring into her own. Taylor rattled off everything that she knew about the gangs, but the more she spoke, the more she realized that something was off. They kept on asking more and more questions that went well beyond not just knowing about a dying city. Questions about her world and heroes and villains and everything in between. As the inquiries started to mount up a sick dread filled her heart at the realization that she might not be on Earth Bet anymore. There were just too many inconsistencies between what they knew as fact and what she knew.
After their questions petered out a silence fell over the bar. Taylor could feel the eyes of everyone on her and it took everything in her power to keep herself from squirming. Being the center of attention after almost two years of being ignored was an odd experience for her, and it certainly didn’t help that these individuals were extremely dangerous.
“Well, it’s clear what we need to do,” Palpatine said with a slow cadence. Taylor couldn’t help but shiver at the man’s tone as her fear started to well up inside of her. This was it, they were going to kill her and hide the body. Wouldn’t anyone care about her? What would happen to Dad?
“Obviously we need to teach her what being a real villain means,” Joker said, earning sounds of agreement from everyone else. As it was, all Taylor could do was stare at the group as if they had all grown second heads.
“What?”
“Clearly these criminals in your world have no idea what it means to be a villain,” Voldemort said with a frustrated scowl. “Honestly, only one major attempt to take over the world?”
“I know, right,” Loki said as if the idea of a villain not trying to take over the world was beyond him. “No armies or grand plans, just a bunch of people in costumes breaking the law. If that’s their standard for villainy then I don’t want to know what they think heroes are supposed to be.”
“Well, we’re going to change all that,” Joker said, grabbing her arm. Taylor allowed herself to be drag along by the villainous clown as he set her down on a stool. “We’re going to teach Taylor here what it means to be a real villain, not a jumped-up criminal.” The clown slid a glass beer toward her, only for lighting to strike the side and lift it out of her reach.
“You fool, don’t you realize she’s underage?” Palpatine asked with a scowl. The glass was quickly dumped down the drain and tossed into a container to be cleaned later. Hopefully, the rest of the patrons would remember to remove every scrap of food and drink from their dishes before they sent them back. It was hard enough getting the cleaning staff to work without worrying about them eating after midnight.
“We’re evil and that’s where you draw the line?” Loki asked with a raised eyebrow as he set himself down in a seat.
Taylor had to agree with the man, it was a rather odd place for a self-proclaimed villain to draw the line. Not that she particularly wanted to get drunk but it was still somewhat unusual.
“We’re evil, not irresponsible. Besides, do you want to have to deal with a drunk teenager?” Palpatine asked, earning various negative responses from the patrons. “That’s what I thought.”
“So, you’re going to teach me how to be a villain?” Taylor asked. While she wasn’t enthused with the idea, it beat being killed.
“Well its either this or killing you, and I don’t really feel like having to clean blood off the floor tonight,” Palpatine said with a tone that one normally reserved for talking about the weather. He didn’t even bother looking at her as he settled back behind the bar, filling a drink for a man with a blood red skull.
“Alright, so the most basic thing that you have to master is the art of revenge,” Joker said as he settled into the seat next to her. “This becomes really important when you get an arch-nemesis, and what you got to do is…”
As the crazy clown started talking about revenge plots Taylor couldn’t help but wonder what had gone wrong with her life that it had come to this. She also couldn’t help but notice that the villains had been treating her with more respect than Emma or Sophia ever had. Sure, they had threatened to end her life more than once, but they hadn’t treated her like garbage yet.
She had to wonder what it said about the Trio that the villains were better behaved than them.
-----
“So, I’m supposed to a superior being to them?” Taylor asked somewhat nervously. That sounded a little too close to the Empire’s ideology for her comfort. She had never liked the way that they assumed that they were better than everyone else that disagreed with them.
“No, I’m the superior being, but I suppose even amongst you lesser beings one of you must be better than the rest,” Khan said with a dismissive glance. There was a casual arrogance about him that ground on her nerves as if the rest of the world wasn’t worth his time.
“Don’t be such a killjoy, we’re trying to teach her how to be a better villain,” Voldemort said with a scowl.
“Well if you’re her teacher I suppose that explains why she’s failing so much,” Khan said as he took a sip of her beer. Voldemort didn’t say anything, but Taylor could hear the man’s teeth grinding against each other.
Taylor didn’t try speaking to Khan much after that.
----
“And you need a look, something that screams ‘I’m a supervillain’,” Loki said, earning nods of agreement from the rest of the bar. They had just finished talking about selecting minions, which apparently had much higher criteria than just grabbing a couple of gangsters off the street.
“Like what?” Taylor asked as she took a sip of her non-alcoholic drink.
“I’ve always preferred to keep things simple, black robes…” Voldemort started, only to be cut off by Loki.
“Not having a nose?” The Asgardian asked with a humorous glint in his eyes, earning a few chuckles from the other patrons.
“I never get any respect around here,” Voldemort said with a grumble.
Taylor felt a little bad for the guy, how often had Emma and her cronies mocked her for her lack of fashion?
“No, no, no. Robes only work if she’s going to be an evil overlord. I see her more as an independent thinker, like me,” Joker said with a smile, waving his arms as if he was presenting some great prize. Taylor did have to admit that the man did look good in his clothes, in a weird villainous way. She had never been aware that purple and green could be so intimidating.
“Well forgive us for not trusting you with her wardrobe. The last time you made a change you came with your eyebrows shaved off and damaged tattooed onto your forehead,” Palpatine said as he handed a check to a man that looked like had just walked out of a blade factory. There were various mutterings of agreement from the assembled villains.
“You guys are never going to let that go, are you?” Joker asked with a heavy sigh.
“No.”
-----
“Now gentlemen, I think what Taylor needs here is a woman’s touch,” a tall green skinned woman said as she placed a hand on her shoulder. A pair of horns came up from her skull with a glowing staff in her other hand. Taylor barely had time to take it all in before she was pushed towards a group of women waiting in the corner with amused expressions.
“Now dear Taylor, you must understand that villainess have a somewhat different toolbox to men, particularly when it comes to our… assets,” a very beautiful redhead woman said with a smile.
Taylor practically burned scarlet at the woman’s insinuation. It wasn’t very difficult to see where she was going with this, especially since her costume left little to the imagination. The thought of her squeezed herself into something like that made her face light up all the way down to her neck.
“I can’t wear something like that,” she managed to squeak out through her embarrassment. There were a few amused chuckles at her expense, but nothing like the howling laughter of the Trio and their cronies.
“Don’t worry dear, we’ll find something that fits you,” the green-skinned woman said as the other ladies began to discuss how they would approach the problem. Taylor was quickly left in the metaphorical dust of the conversation as terms and ideas beyond her were thrown out. It reminded her of the times that Emma would try to get her to wear some more stylish clothes, but they seemed more interested in what would fit for her rather than what was at the edge of the latest fashion trend.
It was…nice.
------
“I don’t know what to say,” Taylor said as she picked up the notes that she had been given. An honest statement, since she really didn’t know what to say. Part of her just wanted to walk out those doors and forget that this had ever happened, but the other part of her couldn’t help but be curious. She had always thought villains were just bad people through and through. These villains were bad people if half of the stuff they said was true (she didn’t even want to think about who many people might have died during a planet’s destruction) there was still a sense of humanity to them.
They were still people just like her, and they had treated her with more respect and attention than she had ever gotten these last two years. It was refreshing, to say the least. Were all villains like this?
“Oh, think nothing of it,” Voldemort said as he took a sip of his beer. Despite his rather terrifying appearance, he was rather friendly, even taking part in a thumb war with her while Loki and Joker debated over the tenants of a good plan. Or lack of plan in the Joker’s case.
“It always brings a smile to my face to see the younger generation getting involved in the business,” Joker said with a crackle.
“But…how am I getting back home?” Taylor asked. While this had been an unexpectedly pleasant experience for her, she still needed to get home. How was she going to do that if she didn’t even know how she got here in the first place?
“Here, I managed to craft this,” Loki said, handing her a small stone. There was a carving on the front of it in a language that she didn’t understand. It looked kind of like those really only books that Mom would sometimes read, but they didn’t have a faint glow like this one did.
“It’s a rune stone,” Loki said, answering her unspoken question. “I keyed it into the trace of your world on you, it should take you straight there, and back here again if you want to.”
“How does it work?” Taylor asked as she examined the stone. She didn’t see anything that would indicate if it was Tinker tech or not, and she didn’t feel quite ready to believe that Loki and Voldemort had magic despite their insistence of the matter.
“Press down on the symbol and speak ‘home’ to return and ‘bar’ to get back here,” Loki explained.
“Thank you,” Taylor said, somewhat touched that the man had even bothered to add that little feature. How long had it been since someone had shown an interest in seeing her again? She clutched the stone in her hand as if it was a lifeline as she looked back up to the assembled villains. “All of you, I don’t know how to repay you.”
“Go show those criminals what it means to be a real villain,” Joker said, earning quite a few nods of agreement from the rest of the patrons. Taylor still wasn’t sure where she stood on being a villain herself, but she was far more open to giving it a try.
“I will,” Taylor said, taking a deep breath as she pressed down on the runestone symbol. Part of her wanted to stay here if only to avoid having to deal with the Trio and Winslow again, but she could only imagine how worried Dad wa—
“Either leave or sit down and order something,” Palpatine said, leaning over the counter.
“Home.”
----
"Well that was a surprisingly pleasant afternoon," Voldemort said. It wasn't every day you got to help someone become a villain.
Loki looked like he was about to say something when he froze, turning his eyes back to the spot where Taylor Hebert had vanished. His brows furrowed in deep thought as if he was trying to make the ground itself talk.
"What is it Lok?" Joker asked, clearly curious as to what was perplexing the trickster god.
"...We never did figure out how she got here, did we?" The Asgardian asked. The villains froze with the realization that no, they hadn't actually managed to figure out how the girl had gotten into the waiting room. That had been the entire reason that they hadn't just dealt with her while she had been unconscious. It had just been in all the excitement of trying to turn her into a villain they had forgotten all about it.
"...Dang it."
----
Earth Bet won't know what hit it.
Being a villain is lame. She should totally be a hero instead.
What? How did you get here?
Becuase I'm BATMAN!
Sophia Hess was Shadow Stalker.
Taylor's world seemed to crumble around her as everything seemed to fall into place. Everything that had vexed her for the past two years of her life suddenly fell into place. Why the school constantly refused to heed her pleas for justice, why Emma and her cronies remained unpunished for everything. Taylor could feel her blood begin to boil with the realization that the reason she had been tormented was because the school apparently valued a Ward over her own safety and wellbeing.
She could see Sophia throwing her costume on in an otherwise sealed and empty room, and just the knowledge that the girl was going to be praised for whatever heroic action she was about to do made her see red. How could Sophia Hess, a girl who had a personality that would make a wolverine seem lovable be a hero? She had action figures! People out there right now were praising her for all that she had done without knowing what she was really like.
A cold thought swam through her head. Were the other Wards like this? Was the rest of the Protectorate like this? There was no way that they could not know about Sophia's behavior, so either that meant that they were okay with it or they simply didn't care enough to do anything about it.
She wasn't sure which was worse.
But what were her options now? She had considered some of the minor revenge pranks the villains had suggested she start out with, but now they all seemed insufficient. The innocuous looking rock in her pocket seemed to heat up with her thought as if it was trying to communicate with her. For a moment Taylor felt indecisive.
She had kept silent about what had happened the day of the locker, even to her own father. She hadn't spoken a word about the Villain Pub or what they had taught her. Part of her had hoped that it would never come up again and that she could just go on with her life. The other part of her couldn't help but feel like something was right about what they were saying. She had been stuck at a crossroads for the past week, uncertain of what she had wanted to do with her life.
Sophia Hess is a hero. 
But uncertainty turned to steel as she lifted her gaze up from the tile floor.
Sophia Hess wanted to play being a hero?
Fine, then it looked like she was going to be a Villain.
Figuring when she was going to make her debut was easy. The Protectorate had all the public events plastered on their website with lists of which heroes the starving masses would be able to see. Taylor could understand why they wanted to do this for PR, but telling the whole city that a portion of your heroes were going to be distracted for an hour or so seemed dumb to her. Still, it made her life a lot easier. None of the events required tickets or anything like that, so sneaking in was rather easy. All she had to do was slip on a hoodie and nobody would notice her. Not that she thought anyone would notice her, but she didn't want Sophia to accidentally recognize her.
The Brockton Bay Mall had been a place she had once frequented with Emma, but once her friendship ended with the girl so did those excursions. She and Dad simply didn't have the budget to splurge on the things they sold here, and so her trips fell by the wayside. Fond memories of giggling with her best friend as they slurped ice cream after window browsing was all she had left now.
Taylor grunted as a large man pushed past her, nearly knocking her over. She glared at the man's back, but he didn't appear to notice her. One thing she certainly didn't miss about this place was the crowds. It seemed to be particularly crowded today, no doubt because of the heroes coming in to give a few speeches. Taylor squeezed her way through the growing tide of residents and tourists as she tried to get as close to the stage as possible. It stood in the center of the courtyard where it could be seen by everyone in view.
With some effort, she managed to get close to the front edge of the crowd, though she did earn a few dirty looks. But she didn't care about any of that. She wanted to be certain that she would be able to see the show with her own two eyes.
It had taken a lot of thinking for her to figure out what she wanted to do for her first showing. She had gotten a lot of suggestions when she had visited the pub again, but first and foremost she had been told that whatever she did it had to be "her". It wouldn't do if she just cribbed off a bunch of other villains without ever developing her own style.
"There's nothing worse than a copycat," Joker said as he took a sip from his drink.
"Yes, you need to develop your own brand of villainy if you want to stand out. Coping us won't get you anywhere in the long run," Loki added.
"Besides, copying us like that would mean that you would have to deal with Copyright Infringement," Palpatine said, and a collective shudder ran through the pub. 
"I'm crazy enough to take on Batman, but trying to break copyright? No thank you," Joker said, adding in his own opinion. 
Taylor had no idea what copyright infringement had to do with being a villain (we'll explain it when you're older) but she understood what they were trying to say.
"Hello, ladies and gentlemen!" A voice cried out over the speakers, silencing the cacophony of noise in an instant. "Please welcome Miss Militia!"
Cries and cheers erupted from the audience as the Protectorate heroine walked up to the mike, waving her hand towards the excited fans. Taylor joined in with a few claps in order to avoid suspicion, but she just couldn't get herself worked up like they could. She had seen what was behind those masks and knew that deep down they were only human. How pitiful that she couldn't look at her heroes anymore without wondering if they were secretly sadists.
"Thank you all for coming," she said, clearly smiling under her bandana as she looked out to the audience. For a brief moment, Taylor felt her heart leap as the woman's eyes passed over her, but she didn't seem to show any immediate reaction. She started to tune the hero out a bit as she checked her swarm. As far as she could tell everything was in place, and she had double and triple checked everything, but that still didn't stop that niggling concern in the back of her brain.
This was it. Either her debut would be successful, and she would be seen as a threat, or something would go wrong and she would only be seen as a laughing stock. First impressions were everything.
Miss Militia was already introducing the Wards as she finished her check, and Taylor knew it was now or never.
"…and Shadow Stalker!"
Go, Taylor mentally commanded. In that instant the bugs she had chewing on the lighting and microphone wiring finished their jobs as sparks flew out, killing them all in an instant. The lights flickered and cut out as their power supply was cut and the microphone that Miss Militia was using to speak cut out with a sharp squeal, causing everyone to wince and relexify cover their ears. But even as the squeal cut out, a heavy buzzing filled the air, and the audience and heroes watched with gathered dread as a dark cloud of arthropods gathered on the stage.
A vaguely humanoid shape was formed as the gathered together, towering over the crowd. For a brief moment, the room was utterly silent apart from the dull buzz of insect wings as the audience and heroes took everything in.
"Heroes? You don't know the meaning of the word."
She had been practicing this little trick for a while. It had been difficult trying to figure out how to get her bugs to make noise in such a way that it could form words, but it was well worth the effort, as evidenced by the cries of terror from the panicking civilians. Her statement had apparently been enough to bring the audience out of its stunned silence as they tried to get as far away as possible. But even as Taylor was pushed and shoved around by the panicking mass of civilians she didn't lose her focus. She needed an audience apart from the Protectorate heroes if she wanted this message to get out to the general public.
The panicked shrieks from the mob became even more pronounced as a wall of arthropods rose up and surrounded them like rats in a cage.
"Unknown villain, stand down—" Miss Militia started to say, raising her newly formed gun towards the humanoid-shaped mass of insects. But she was quickly cut off as Taylor made her swarm's buzz drown her words out.
"Villain? Yes, I suppose I am a villain. I'm the villain that you made through your actions and cruelty."
Taylor could feel several dozen members of her swarm get flattened as a crossbow bolt shot through her swarm without much resistance. The panicked screams of the audience grew to a fever pitch as bolt landed only a few feet away from a child's head. Taylor almost faltered for a moment with the knowledge that she had almost just caused the death of a child however indirectly before pushing on.
"And so, the 'heroes' show their true colors. Violent, uncaring for the masses kneeling before them, only the praise that they receive." Taylor twisted her swarm clone's head so that it was facing Sophia. She could almost imagine the twisted look of outrage plastered across the sociopath's face at her failure, but she couldn't afford to get distracted right now. There would be time to enjoy Sophia's suffering later.
"Whatever grudge you have against the Protectorate, it can be resolved peacefully if you stand down now. This isn't the place that you want this to happen," Miss Militia said in a rather obvious attempt to move this fight away from the audience. Taylor wasn't going to let the woman get off that easy. If she agreed to the Blaster's demands then that would mean the Protectorate would be free to write the story how they wanted, no she needed this audience to be here.
"Oh, I disagree. This is exactly the place that this needs to happen. These people came here to look to their shining heroes and cheer for all that they've done. I simply want them to know what they're cheering for, thugs, sociopaths, cowards." Taylor said through her swarm, waving her makeshift arms out the cowering audience. In the background, she could hear a child bursting into tears, but she ignored it. She wasn't going to harm any of them, at best they would get a bit of a fright. "This is the beginning of the end for you Protectorate. I will rip down your masks and reveal you for what you really are. I am Arachne, and let it be known that this is where your reckoning starts."
Deep inside her hoodie pocket, Taylor discreetly flicked a switch, sending signals out to the fireworks that her swarm had set up this morning. Sparks shot out from various hiding places, eliciting more screams that were quickly drowned out by loud bangs of the fireworks detonating. Taylor smirked as her swarm swept over heroes while some of her less dangerous arthropods bit down on their exposed skin. Nothing dangerous unless they were allergic but irritating enough to get their attention.
Though she did take some vindictive pleasure in getting a few wasps up Sophia's legs. Judging by the girl's pained howls before she turned into her misty form she wouldn't be sitting down for some time.
And with that, Taylor allowed her swarm to collapse. Screams echoed throughout the building as the swarm dispersed into a million individual insects, leaving nothing behind but terrified onlookers and several heroes. But even as Miss Militia started working on calming the audience down alongside their PRT agent escorts, Taylor couldn't help but smile.
Message sent.
"Miss Militia, I read the reports, but what's your take on this?" Piggot asked as the Blaster entered the room. Armsmaster was already seated to the side, each hero exchanging a slight nod before turning their attention back to Piggot. Part of Piggot couldn't help but resent that these parahumans could have the sort of comradery that she could no longer have. She could remember the days when she had a team that she could trust at her back. Except for Calvert, but nobody had liked Calvert anyway.
Villains attacking during scheduled PR events was nothing new. In fact, it was almost counted on. They had managed to drive back Fenja and Menja earlier today because they had been preparing for such an occurrence at the Empire's borders. But what was unusual was having a villain attack one of those PR events, especially a new villain at that. Most villains stayed away from them because they knew that attacking such public venues with so many civilians around would get them a lot more attention than most wanted.
"This, Arachne, clearly has a grudge against us if judging by what they were saying," the woman said as she took her seat. She looked no worse for wear, but some of the Wards hadn't been so lucky. They weren't hurt, but they did have the distinct displeasure of having several thousand bugs crawl up and around them. A few of them had some bug bites to deal with, but nothing that required extensive medical assistance. The one exception had been Sophia, who had gotten the displeasure of experiencing a few wasp stings directly into her butt.
Though once she got her hands-on Hess, that girl was going to wish that was the worst thing that had happened to her. Firing her crossbow and nearly hitting a civilian child? If it wasn't for the fact that everyone was focusing on the new villain attack heads would have rolled.
"Do we know where this grudge came from?" Piggot asked, leaning forward in her seat.
"It could have been anything. Perhaps one of their family members was a villain that got arrested?" Miss Militia half offered. Flimsily, but not beyond the realm of possibility. New Triggers had turned to villainy for less.
"Possible, but reviewing her—"
"Her?" Piggot cut off Armsmaster with a questioning look.
"Stress patterns and diction indicate the villain is likely female, possibly fifteen to twenty years of age," Armsmaster said as if that somehow explained everything. Then again, with his Tinker tech, it probably did. She would have her own analysts confirm it for her, but she was willing to take the man's word for it now.
Which meant that she was dealing with another child who thought a little power gave them the right to do whatever they wanted. She could already feel a headache coming.
"In any event, from what she said, she seems to believe that we aren't as heroic as we present ourselves to the public and intends on revealing this to them," Armsmaster continued, frowning as his fingers tapped against his thigh. "Its possible that she holds one of us responsible for her Trigger event."
That got Miss Militia's attention.
"What?" The Blaster asked, her weapon shifting between various forms before settling on a butterfly knife. Piggot knew that Trigger events were a touchy subject amongst parahumans, but Hannah had always had a particular soft spot for Triggered children.
"'I'm the villain you made'. It's possible that one of us might have been involved with her Trigger event in some fashion and she's holding it against the whole organization," Armsmaster said, and sadly Piggot could see that making sense. The PRT and Protectorate were hardly perfect, and she knew it. Part of her couldn't help but agree with Arachne's statements, they did push the heroic and infallible image of their heroes in order to increase public trust. It was an unfortunate side effect of working with heroes that three-fourths of the work that they did was dedicated to maintaining their image.
If a new cape happened to think them responsible for their Trigger event…
"Possible, but we don't have enough data to go on. What would you rate her powers at?" Piggot asked. She had a few thoughts of her own, but she wanted to hear from them first.
"I would normally think that control over arthropods would be a low-level Master threat, but with the level of control she seemed to have over them, and the size of the swarm I would recommend using Master five protocols," Armsmaster said, with a not quite dismissive tone. The man was an excellent and hardworking hero, but that tended to go to his head. His constant attempts to remain in the spotlight required him to face off against powerful villains constantly in order to please the public. Admirable that he would risk his life, regardless of the reason, but he tended to get tunnel vision in regard to his goals. Villains who couldn't get him the spotlight he wanted were usually dismissed as threats to the man.
"Thinker two, she was apparently able to parse the information from her swarm and respond using several hundred variants of senses, most of which the human mind isn't accustomed to. Assuming that this was a long-range control and not her body. Hm, is it possible that we're dealing with a Case 53? Miss Militia asked, turned her head towards her compatriots.
"Perhaps, but unlikely. Most Case 53s maintain a basic physical form. While it is possible that she's a Case 53, we would have no way of knowing unless we questioned her," Armsmaster said, idly scratching his beard.
"In any case, I would also add Shaker 5 to that list. She was able to effectively blind us and the entire audience for a few moments when she dispersed her swarm. That would be a powerful way to control the battlefield if she could maintain it," Miss Militia added.
Piggot tapped her pen to her paper as she considered the growing list. While no individual threat the new villain posed was particularly high, together they promised to be an irritant to deal with. And that left her with her own musings on the possible threats the girl could pose, "Stranger five. If what you say is true and she's able to view through her swarm, that means that every arthropod could be used as a spy. She could be inside this building right and we would never know it," Piggot said, a dread growing inside her stomach as she considered the implications. Bugs were always a constant no matter where you went. To think that any one of them could be watching you for more nefarious purposes than simply trying to get your food was sobering.
"This is of course assuming that she was viewing through her swarm. Its possible that she could have been one of the audience members," Armsmaster said with a slight frown.
"Could we question them?" Piggot asked.
"If they were willing, but we don't really have anywhere to start. I doubt that people would like it if we started accusing them of being villains," Miss Militia pointed out, much to Piggot's chagrin. Because the easy option was never available.
"For now, we'll assume that she wasn't and that she can remote view through her swarm," Piggot said, folding her hands. She needed to get to a meeting with the PR department as soon as possible so they could salvage this mess.
It was right then that Piggot realized what Arachne's seemingly insignificant attack had accomplished. She had made the Protectorate utter fools of themselves at an event that had been promised to showcase their power. It had been meant as a way to reassure the public that they were still in control of Brockton Bay. But Arachne had trampled over that with a million tiny feet. It didn't matter that she didn't do any lasting damage, she had attacked a PR even that had been promised to be safe and got off scot-free. If they didn't take her down quickly then they would be the laughing stock of the town. When she voiced her concerns to the two parahumans Armsmaster only snorted.
"She controls bugs Director. I think we can take her."
"So, what do you think?" Taylor asked somewhat nervously as she showed the video to her…mentors, she guessed. Some of the helpless onlookers in the crowd had taken their time as a captive audience to record the events being played out before them in a demonstration of the idiocy that smartphones seemed to bring out in people. Honestly, a villain attacking and holding you hostage the first thing you think to do it pull out your phone to record it?
"It's a start," Joker said as he watched the video again. "But you're going to have to go bigger next time if you want them to take you more seriously."
"What do you mean?" Taylor asked, tilting her head curiously, trying to keep herself from biting her lip. She thought she had done pretty well for her first showing, but didn't most amateurs think they were doing pretty well until a master came along to show them how it was done?
"Well, starting small is good if you're trying to build up your rep, don't get me wrong, we all started from somewhere. But you have to make the next show bigger or people just won't take you seriously," Joker said as a Santa hat bobbed up and down on his head. Apparently, the time zone for this world was set back a few months compared to her own, so they were still gearing up for Christmas. She had questioned why supervillains would bother with a holiday, but the only answer she had gotten was a few glances exchanged before Loki shrugged.
"It's Christmas, why wouldn't we celebrate it?"
"Yes, and don't start out with a superweapon if you plan on the long game, otherwise you'll never be able to top that. Isn't that right Mr. Sith Lord?" Loki asked with a smug smile as Palpatine grumbled under his breath about how the second one was bigger or something like that.
"You have to escalate things if you want people to see you as a threat, otherwise you're just a shmuck in a costume," Voldemort said as he took a sip of his drink.
"You've made your threat, but now you have to follow through with it. It's going to have to be something flashy, but something that you'll be able to top later on. I made one of my first appearances robbing a bank, because while its somewhat cliché, gave me something to surpass when I killed all the mobsters and burned their money."
"So how much bigger do I have to make it?" Taylor asked, turning to her mentors for guidance. She understood the concept, but how far would she have to push. Her world had rules about crossing lines, she didn't want to get thrown into the Birdcage or get a Kill Order because she pushed too hard.
"Well, you've made the threat that you were going to tear them down, so you'll need to do something that will hinder them a bit more than ruining a publicity event," Loki said as he adjusted his reindeer horns.
"How often do they do those by the way?" Voldemort asked with a curious look.
"Uh, I think at least three or four times a month," Taylor said somewhat uncertainly, trying to wrack her brains for the answer. The villains stopped what they were doing and immediately wheeled around to face her.
"Seriously? How do they get anything done?" Palpatine asked with an incredulous look. While he had hated them, he had understood that keeping his Empire together took a few public appearances to quell dissent. He knew how much planning went into each and every one of them and how carefully you had to manage what you said and how you said it. Those were some of the most exhausting experiences of his life, and he had only had to do a couple every few months.
"They don't," Taylor growled darkly, staring down at the countertop as her hands clenched into fists. With a humorless laugh, she added, "Oh, and get this, one of my bullies is a hero. She made my life a living hell and they still let her become a Ward."
Even with her rather vindictive attack on Sophia at the gathering, that anger still hadn't been abated. She wasn't sure she had quite internalized it either. It was one thing to know that one of the people that you were supposed to look up to was tormenting you, but actually understanding and contemplating them doing that wasn't something she had quite gotten to yet.
"Well, I suppose if they really wanted an Anti-Hero…," Loki tried to add in.
"Playing Devil's advocate?" Taylor asked with a bit more bitterness than she had intended. None of these guys deserved her anger, they were only trying to help.
"You mean Larry? Hah! I wish I was Larry. Do you know how much of a killing that man makes?" Loki asked, with muttered agreements following from the other villains. Taylor blinked as she took that in. Apparently being the Devil's advocate was a real job and well paying one at that.
Maybe she could put in a good word for Mr. Barnes, that seemed right up his alley defending monsters.
"She's not even an Anti-Hero anyway," Taylor said with a dejected sigh. They had explained the concept to her when going over the different types of heroes, but that kind of violent thinking wasn't something that the PRT liked on her world. Those people were labeled as villains even if they only differed from methods of how they saved people. "They're parading her around as a goodie-two-shoes hero even after everything that she's done."
Even discounting her bullying, Taylor had trawled through enough PHO threads to know that Shadow Stalker had been suspected of almost killing two people prior to her induction into the Wards. Nothing had been proven, but that didn't stop people from trying to argue about it over the internet…
"I know that look. You have an idea?" Joker asked, prodding Taylor as her eyes turned glassy and far away as her mind raced at a thousand miles a minute, a rough idea turning into something more solid.
"Yeah, yeah, I do," Taylor said as a smile curved up her lips. She turned to her wristwatch, she would need to get started soon, before the impact of her threat dissipated into just another tabloid story. "Thanks for the help!"
"Wait," Loki called out before Taylor had a chance to brush the runestone. "The Annual Christmas Party is being held at Mount Doom this year, are you interested in coming?"
"You have a Christmas party?" Taylor asked pausing in place to make sure that she had heard that right. She got that they celebrated Christmas, but actually having a party?
"Oh yeah, its loads of fun. We exchange stuff that we stole from the heroes and all sort of other fun stuff. Then at the end of the night we draw a hero's name out of a hat and go torment them for the night," Joker said with a wide grin on his face. Taylor paused as she considered the offer. When was the last time she had been invited to a party? At the very least since the bullying began.
"Sure, when do I need to come?" Taylor asked, judging by the time difference between her world and there's, setting up a good meeting time might be a bit difficult.
"You said that time is faster on your world?" Loki asked, apparently already considering the complications that might arise, earning a nod from Taylor. "Then don't worry about it, we'll just come over and get you ourselves."
"Are you sure you'll be able to find me?" Taylor asked. Brockton Bay was a decent sized city and it could get quite easy to get lost in for a stranger with its almost counterintuitive design.
"Taylor we're supervillains, how hard could it be?"
"A-hem."
Trickster god and parahuman turned to see Palpatine holding up a jar full of dollar bills with a rather irritated look on his face. Taylor didn't know that you could give that particular kind of annoyed expression without eyebrows, but apparently the Emperor managed to pull it off.
"Odin's Beard," Loki groused as he pulled out a single dollar and threw it into the jar with a scowl.
"What?" Taylor asked, turning to the others for clarification.
"Taylor, as a supervillain you'll be faced with situations that seem quite simple," Voldemort started, setting aside his drink and folding his hands as he gave her the utmost serious expression.
"Situations that you'll believe that you will be able to resolve without issue or difficulty," Joker added with an equally serious look. It was so uncharacteristic of the clownish villain that she couldn't help but straighten up a little. Whatever they were about to tell her had to be of the utmost importance.
"But no matter how easy these situations may seem, you must never, ever," Palpatine added in as he set the jar back under the counter.
"…say that this will be easy or any other iteration of the statement," Loki said with a dejected sigh as he rested his forehead against the bar.
"Don't worry Lok, it happens to the best of us," Zod added as he passed by, giving the Asgardian a pat on the shoulder.
"Why?" Taylor asked as she looked around to her mentors for guidance. Their serious demeanor seemed to be at odds with what they were saying. Not saying how easy things were? That seemed rather insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
"Because its taunting Murphy, Taylor. And you never taunt Murphy," Loki said as he pulled himself off the cool wood of the bar. Muttered agreements followed from all around the bar as various villain added in their two cents. Taylor quietly took that her cue to leave as the words that had been building in her throat died. She doubted the words "but how bad could it be" would be liked amongst present company.
Best not to tempt Murphy.
Category:Alternate Endings