Voyage of Despair/Phonographs

There are 8 phonograph cylinders and 5 phonographs around the map.
==Cylinder 1==
Cultist: "April 14th. 8 in the morning. Tonight is the night. A journey to Earth's redemption begins. My mission is clear. My heart beats purely. The orders will be done. The artifact, the body, in the safe. Should be easy enough. The key, the mind, around the daughter's neck. Should be easier. I'll wring her scrawny neck to get it. She will break, as her father did. But now, I must study. Return to my teachings. I must prepare for this great undertaking. Wait. What? Where are they? My recordings they're gone! They were here! I swear if that bloody Irishman I'm quartered with has touched my stuff. It appears someone has gone through my- my things and stolen my audio recordings. Devil knows where or why they've taken them. Surely, they're still on the ship. I could probably find them. No, it doesn't matter now, there is no time. I must prepare without their guidance. Our journey begins tonight."
==Cylinder 2==
Diego Necalli: "This is the life, amigo. No wonder these aristocrats are all so fat. This food is both divine and devilish."
Bruno Delacroix: "The only thing devilish here is your table manners, you eat like a pig."
Diego: "Oh, you simply must try this fillet of duckling, Bruno. Here, have a bit-"
Bruno: "Get the fork away from my face!"
Diego: "Ah, right. Saving yourself for dessert. You must be looking forward to the French ice cream."
Bruno: "You think I want the ice cream because they labeled it French?"
Diego: "Do you not?"
Bruno: "Why do you must stuff your face like this, you would be worthless in a fight."
Diego: "It is for that very reason, my French friend, that I am stuffing my face. Never fight on an empty stomach!"
Bruno: "And all the wine."
Diego: "I had only have four glasses."
Bruno: "Five, monsieur."
Diego: "I- I- I'm just trying to sober up!"
Bruno: "I got no idea how Alistair associated with a man of your... caliber."
Diego: "Nor I ?, señor Delacroy."
Bruno: "De-La-Croix!"
Diego: "Yes, yes. That's what I said. It's just that the Alistair I met was so full of life and energy. You (chuckles) you are so morose and uptight."
Bruno: "I owe Alistair my life, not is all I would say on this subject."
Diego: "Funny, Alistair showed me the time of my life! Perhaps you and I are not so different after all."
Bruno: "I loathe this thought, I loathe it very much. Finish up, we have work to do."
Diego: "But your French ice cream?"
Bruno: "Enough!"
==Cylinder 3==
Stanton Shaw: "Are you sure about this, Scarlett?"
Scarlett Rhodes: "Good late to be asking now, isn't it? You're suggesting we don't do it?"
Shaw: "Well I'm certainly not saying we shouldn't not do it, if you follow, but we could just forget the artifact. Enjoy a relaxing and smooth voyage to New York City."
Scarlett: "You're getting cold feet, aren't you?"
Shaw: "Me? (chuckles) Heavens, no! I wouldn't know my feet cold if they were frostbitten. Haven't had that sensation in ground hands for years. I suppose my concern that is concerned from the old brain jar is well... uh... Ho- Ho- How wh- wh- what are the words? How do I put this?! Place this delicately."
Scarlett: "I try speaking coherently to start."
Shaw: "You haven't seen your father in 15 years. The first you hear from him, he's capatulted you into grave danger. And here you are, taking on the burden of an old man you've spent most of your life separated from."
Scarlett: "You weren't at the mansion, you didn't see what I saw. This is not screwing around time."
Shaw: "Dah! Screws, nails, hammers, fingers, my point-"
Scarlett: "Yeah, you're gonna get to that soon?"
Shaw: "My point is, you appear rather level-headed considering the road, or rather the sea, we now travel. Pardon the pun. Are you alright?"
Scarlett: "Are you asking me if I am alright because I'm behaving normally?"
Shaw: "Sometimes, my dear, those who behave the most normally warrant the most concern."
Scarlett: "(chuckles) I'm fine. Don't worry about me, you- you worry about keeping your medicinal habits under control."
Shaw: "Tss, ah! Be quiet! They mustn't know!"
Scarlett: "We all know, Shaw!"
Shaw: "No, not our friends. Don't care about them. The other passangers, you never know who may want to taste. I only have enough for me!"
Scarlett: "(static) Shaw! For (static) sake."
==Cylinder 4==
High Priest of Chaos: "You know by now the importance of your mission. (static) For all our attempts and progress, humanity has faltered. (static) Self-interested men of cowardice and commerce have used our generous gift to pursue violence and greed. Instead of growth and evolution. The benevolent nature of our former order limits their ability to achieve legitimate progress. We must circumvent them to save our fellow man. War is coming. We can no longer stand idly by and let humanity destroy itself. We must act. Humanity must be compelled, forced even to achieve enlightement I promise all those years ago. You must secure the artifact, only with the artifact can we reach (static) Mankind must witness their reckoning. Only through it, can we deliver salvation."
==Cylinder 5==
Alistair Rhodes: "There are always two (static) mind and the body. Each made for the other. Lock and key. Without the mind, the body is but an artifact, a relic from an ancient civilization. Beautiful and priceless though it may be. It is utterly useless. Not unlike Pandora's box, the artifact cannot be opened without a proper key. (static) Brute force accomplishes nothing, a hammer won't even leave a dent! It is completely impenetrable. But that is for protection (static) is sent on a journey. One that cannot be stopped once started. That is why they must have the key. They must open it by their own volition. They must wish to inflict peril upon themselves. After all, the artifact does not wish to be open. It is protecting (static) It is a guard, a sentinel."
==Cylinder 6==
Alistair Rhodes: "Though I, myself, have not seen the artifact opened. The evidence I gathered tells (static) across several civilizations whether it's 2000 BC or 500 AD. The records are (static) what are the odds? Incredible. When the artifact is unlocked (static) the same event (static) when mind and body are one, the trial (static) the test of one's worthiness (static) once the challenger has announced themselves (static) is released, transforming the environment around it to the trial's requirement. Eight ways are locked, life is (static) and death. Puzzles and riddles must be solved. But the trial does not abandon you to certain death. No, no. The gods watch over you. Tools of survival are provided. It is as if the trial wants you to succeed. And succeed you must. But once the trial is activated you are locked in (static) until completion. It is either victory or (static)."
==Cylinder 7==
Alistair Rhodes: "To the best of my knowledge, there are three artifacts, each with their own companion key. My expeditions brought me two keys (static) now for the artifacts then to complete the trials (static) of whatever rewards? To what end do we pursue these avenues of horror? (static) Well my friend, that's when we reach (static) that is our goal, the bastion, the greatest unknown, the unobtainable suddenly within our grasp (static) discovery on this scale would be my legacy, you know, it goes beyond my legacy. It would be a discovery unparalleled in the history of mankind. Imagine your untapped (static) too dangerous for mankind's hands, yet in the right hands, in my hands, it can be used (static) it must be found and I am the one to find it."
==Cylinder 8==
Alistair Rhodes: "But I'm not the only one. There is another group (static) this order. Like me they seek to find (static) Their intentions are nefarious at best, I hope to empower mankind with this discovery. They aimed to (static) They cannot succeed. They are determined to (static) First (static) In my encounters with them, I've barely escaped with my life! They will try again, after all I am an obstacle in their way. I threatened them (static) in far greater danger than I've allowed myself to acknowledge. The next time they come for me, they may very well get what they want. (sigh) Though I haven't seen her in many, many years, I may need to reach out to Scarlett for help. (static) She may not think fondly of her father. I know if anyone is strong enough to overcome great adversity, it's she."
==Cylinder 9==
Alistair Rhodes: "Prima materia. It is the key, the crucial. No, no. The essential ingredient to life itself. The power to create. To enlighten. To enhance. For centuries it was believed extinguished. Expunged from earth. But when Shaw and I encountered it in (static) I witnessed its power. It was everything. Primitive, formless... to call it unstable would be a disservice. It is chaotic. Raw. Chaos. And while it wields the power to manufacture unfiltered beauty and wonder, unsafe exposure to the raw material can (static) exposing the cruelty and savagery our evolution has buried. The lurking beast that we suppress, sheds our skin- and is revealed. 
Category:Easter eggs
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