Voting Ploy

Voting Ploy is the fifth episode of the first season of Durv: The Series.
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==Plot==
===Part 1===
Durv is relaxing at Durv H.Q and comments on how wonderful his day is, but then suddenly notices a news reporter A comment that OLDTPBUSER made on this article refers to her as "C.F Reporter". doing a report on Durv H.Q. The very sight of this freaks Durv out. Durv runs out of his building and asks the news reporter to leave, but she tries to explain that Durv's headquarters are public property. Unfortunately for her, Durv displays how muscular he is, causing the news reporter to run off screaming after being threatened with Durv's muscles. Because of this incident, Durv decides he needs a security guard. Viewers are then instructed to vote for who should be Durv's security guard; the choices are The Bitch Boy, John Barkashki, and CowBoy McCrud-den.
===Part 2===
Durv announces the winner of the security guard poll. After some reading, the poll states that CowBoy McCrud-den only got nine votes, so Durv instructs him to leave, which he does unhappily. With only two contestants left now, Durv reads the poll again and declares that John Barkashki is his security guard from now on. This causes John to happily bounce up to Durv, who gives him a welcoming handshake.
==Transcript==
===Part 1===
[Pan into the inside of Durv H.Q, where Durv is standing around looking pleased.]
Durv: Ah, it's a nice and beautiful day to relax. [notices something] Huh? [Durv rushes over to the window and looks out of it.] What the f--[Durv starts repeating "aaa" loudly while vibrating rapidly.]
[Cut to the outside of Durv H.Q, where a news reporter can be seen describing the building.]
Reporter: And this is Durv Headquarters, home to one of the most godly people on this planet. [Durv rushes in, and the reporter now looks confused.]
Durv: Get the flying fuck off my property.
Reporter: Nah, this is public property. [The reporter's face suddenly goes blank.]
[Pan upwards to a very muscular and large Durv.]
Reporter: Oh sit. 
[The reporter runs off screaming in a high-pitched voice.]
Durv: [no longer muscular] Well, at least my hunkiness is still with me. But I really need a security guard. But that's [pointing at camera] where you come in.
[The scene changes to a blue and white background that continuously zooms in and out. The text "DURV VOTING TIME" appears.]
Narrator: That's right, Durv. For this one week only, you can vote to who you want Durv's security guard to be.
[The text disappears. Three contestants fade in; from left to right are The Bitch Boy, John Barkashki, and CowBoy McCrud-den. As the narrator names each one, an arrow goes over their heads.]
Narrator: Will it be the Homestar ripoff? John Barkashki? Or CowBoy McCrud-den? [The contestants disappear. Text reading "VOTE NOW" appears.] Vote now by clicking on the link in the description. So good luck, and happy voting.
===Part 2===
[An excited Durv is seen on a green background.]
Durv: Hello guys, it's-a me Durv here (indecipherable). I mean, the security guard thing. Now let me read off the results. [Durv pulls out a paper and looks at it.] Hmm. Alright.
[There is a pause as a pan occurs across the three contestants.]
Durv: CowBoy McCrud-den only got nine votes. So without further ado, get out.
CowBoy McCrud-den: Shit. [walks away]
Durv: So with that, we only have two contestants. [Durv puts the paper down.] And the winner. [A zoom-in occurs on his face for each following word.] Of. Our. Contest. Is...
[John Barkashki and The Bitch Boy are quivering in anticipation.]
Durv: [now off-screen] John Barkashki!
John: [A spotlight is shone on him, as The Bitch Boy gets visibly angry.] Oh. [John screams "yeee" in excitement repeatedly, and then bounces over to Durv happily.]
[Durv shakes hands with John.]
Durv: Welcome to the job, John.
== Production Music ==
* Untitled Tune - Jack Shaindlin (Start of the episode and Part 1)
* Peek-A-Boo - Jack Shaindlin (The News Reporter appears)
*All the Rage - Heinz Kiessling (Voting announcement, end of part 1)
*Holiday For Trombones - Grasshopper Jump (Start of Part 2)
*Showtime Ending 8 - Carlin CPM Library (Durv begins to read off the results, Durv says CowBoy McCrud-den only got 9 votes)
* Monsun (Renamed to Final Fling by Extreme Music) - Heinz Kiessling (John Barkashki wins the poll, end of the episode)
==Trivia==
*Originally, the episode's title was "Can't think of a better name".
*While it is known that CowBoy McCrud-den apparently got nine votes, it is unknown on how many votes The Bitch Boy and John Barkashki received.
===Cultural references===
*The Bitch Boy is referred to as a "Homestar ripoff".
==Gallery==
File:EP_5_Can't_think_of_a_better_name_Title_Card.png|The original title card.
File:Vlcsnap-00744.png|Cut drawing from the episode, #1.
File:Vlcsnap-00741.png|Cut drawing from the episode, #2.
File:Vlcsnap-00740.png|Cut drawing from the episode, #3.
File:Vlcsnap-00743.png|A green-screen template for the news reporter.
Voting_Ploy_Concept_Art.png|Original concept art for Voting Ploy ~ Mid-August 2017.
==References==
Category:Episodes
Category:Season 1