The Toy War: Shots Fired

The Toy War: Shots Fired is an Event Quest during the Mega Meka Melee Event.
==Steps==
# Go to Leschots's workshop
# Talk to the workshop staff
# Go to Lepaute Horlogerie
# Talk to Caron, the shop owner
# Go back to Leschots's workshop
==Dialogue==
;(Talk to Caron, optional)
:Caron: Hello, dear customers. I'm Caron, the owner of this shop. What can I do for you?
:Paimon: That's a lot of people you've got here. Is there some event going on?
:Caron: Oh, no, I wouldn't call it that. We just have a new product. A toy, to be precise — the one at the entrance. If you're interested, you can come and try it out anytime.
;(Talk to Armand, optional)
:Armand: H—H—Hello, you t—two... My name is... is... A—A—Armand...
----
;(Approach the workshop)
:Arbon: This is so annoying.
:Alberre: Yes, very annoying.
:Arbon: Doesn't this just mean that Lady Furina will sit at the judges' table?
:Alberre: Exactly.
:Paimon: "Sit at the judges' table"? What does that mean?
:Arbon: Oh my, we have guests! Judging from your clothes, you must be outlanders, yes? In that case, it's quite expected that you might not understand our local lingo. Allow me to put it this way: who should sit at the judges' table?
:Alberre: The Justices, of course.
:Arbon: And who is our Chief Justice?
:Alberre: Monsieur Neuvillette, naturally.
:Arbon: Oh my! Well then, why is our dear Hydro Archon sitting in Monsieur Neuvillette's chair? Come now, tell me, what would the poor people being judged think of that?
:Alberre: If it were me, why, I would feel cheated! Our Hydro Archon knows nothing about being a judge!
:Paimon: Hmm... Well, it does seem like they wouldn't be getting what was advertised...
:Alberre: Exactly! Trials will be "not-as-advertised," precisely as you say!
:Paimon: Huh, so it does mean what Paimon thought it did... Wait just a second! Are you sure it's okay for you to make fun of your god like that?
:Arbon: Oh, of course! Our Archon loves such jokes.
:Arbon: Why, if these words reached her ears, she would tie me to a stone and have me hurled into a deep lake, watching enthusiastically from the sidelines the entire time.
:Alberre: But ah, dear guests, do not grieve yet. For our good Arbon is ever so flighty with his words that even a millstone could not sink him.
:Alberre: And our Archon would say, "Ah, it's a miracle! Such a romantic ending!" while applauding most loudly. In fact, she might even shed a tear or two.
:Arbon: Aye, and she may even bestow upon me a "Model of Romantic Fontaine" medal!
: Ah, yes, most romantic!
: Is that what Fontainians consider romantic?
:Paimon: Paimon's... not sure what to say here...
:Arbon: In any case, let's get to business — might I ask why you have come to our humble store?
:Alberre: Speaking of which, Arbon, don't you think our two guests look like the famous adventurers the boss told us about previously?
:Arbon: Huh, quite so! One with hair like burnished gold, and the other like shining silver... Oh, right! Might the two of you be and Ms. Paimon?
:Paimon: Err, you know us?
:Arbon: The boss was asking around at the Adventurers' Guild about adventurers active in Fontaine, and ended up being told about the two of you. Word is that you're a pretty formidable team.
:Paimon: Well, , looks like we're getting more famous by the day!
: Thanks to me, eh?
::Paimon: Hmph. C'mon, you could show a bit more humility!
: 'Tis all thanks to you, Ms. Paimon.
::Paimon: Hehehe, haven't you been growing a silver tongue lately? Alrighty then. For that, Paimon shall always share her fortune with you.
:Paimon: Well then, what would your boss like from us?
:Arbon: Well, unfortunately, he's not in the store right now, so allow us to tell you in his stead.
:Alberre: Just a few words, not to worry.
:Arbon: To be brief, our boss would like your help collecting data for his "Champion Duelist Plan."
:Paimon: "Champion Duelist Plan"?
:Arbon: It is a plan to use champion duelists as the main characters, the development centerpiece, and the focus of our advertising for a new line of clockwork toys. Ah, right, that's our business, by the way — clockwork toys.
:Arbon: Also, have the two of you heard of Champion Duelists?
: I have, don't worry. Continue.
: Not at all. Could you explain?
::Arbon: They are a special institution in Fontaine. If you commit any crime, as you face your trial, you may apply for a duel against a Champion Duelist.
::Arbon: Should you prove victorious, you can clear your name and defend your honor, and thus remove the need for a trial. However, defeating a Champion Duelist is no mean feat.
::Alberre: Harder than selling toys, certainly.
:Arbon: Our boss believes this to be an excellent cultural institution of Fontaine — as such, toys of this kind may yet sell very well indeed.
:Alberre: And if they do get popular outside the country, we can also win honor for our nation — two birds with one stone, I say! Ah, I can see Lady Furina herself pinning medals to our chests!
:Paimon: Okay, so that's the situation, huh? But if you're making toy Champion Duelists, what do you need us adventurers for?
:Arbon: Well, you can't develop anything without data. And the strength of the Champion Duelists is honed in all manner of perilous places. Getting data on them isn't easy.
:Alberre: But when we heard that the more impressive adventurers do similar things, we thought, why not get adventurers to help us instead...
:Paimon: Ah, Paimon kinda gets it now. You're gonna use adventurers to get the data you need for your line of toy Champion Duelists. Is that it?
: That's false advertising!
: It's no different from "Lady Furina sitting at the judges' table".
:Arbon: Well, now, it's not quite that serious. It's more like replacing a Romaritime Flower with a Mallow Tree.
:Alberre: Or, you know, a wooden pillar with a stone one!
:Paimon: Gah. Doesn't all this mean more or less the same thing? That's what you two were talking about from the start, y'know — and we heard it all!
:Arbon: Oh, uh, that! We were talking about Lepaute Horlogerie, the watchmaker next-next door. They're way worse than we are, trust me.
:Arbon: They call themselves a watchmaker, but they make toys on the sly. Now that's just completely absurd, isn't it?
:Alberre: Indeed. Terribly so!
:Paimon: A watchmaker that sells toys?
:Arbon: Exactly! And is that not reprehensible? Come, tell me, what do you like most in this world?
:Paimon: What Paimon likes most? Well, uh, it's her best buddy , of course!
:Arbon: In that case, if there was a " Puppet Store" somewhere that you traveled from afar to see, only to find that it did not sell puppets at all, but instead stocked nothing but a ton of Arbon puppets.
:Arbon: Would you not be angered at this betrayal of your expectations? Would you not cry and scream? Would you not send the boss of that store flying with a single punch for denying you the purchase of your dear companion?
:Alberre: Why, I'd be furious! I'd punch the store owner straight into a cell in the Fortress of Meropide. Seriously, who'd buy Arbon puppets anyway?
:Paimon: Well, now that you say so, it would be kinda annoying... What do we do, ? It would be terrible if puppets of you were to go out of stock!
: Paimon, it's a red herring. Don't get distracted.
: They're selling you a bridge here, you know.
:Paimon: Huh, and they almost got Paimon there, too!
:Arbon: Oh, come now, we were just making analogies, and you know what they say — there's no such thing as a perfect analogy. And well, the things we described do happen! After all, you will not find Beryl Conches in Conch Madeleines, will you?
:Alberre: Precisely, and such things will only increase in frequency, until a day comes when watchmakers stop making watches altogether — but we shall not forgive them, oh no, unless they change their name to Lepaute Toymakers!
: And there you both go again.
:Paimon: You two really love spouting nonsense, don't you? The more you talk, the further off-topic we get! So let's just have it now — what do you need us to do?
:Arbon: Well... Actually, we do have one request to make before that. Could you two go to Lepaute Horlogerie next door and do a little investigation there?
:Arbon: Watchmaking is their main trade, but their latest toys have become so popular they're stealing our customers. We heard that the store owner gained inspiration for those toys in Mondstadt, and we're curious about what they might be.
:Alberre: For all you know, it might be some alchemy-powered toy that gives off a scent four times as sweet as Sunsettias, which they use to ensnare people. Well, I've heard that there's an alchemist in Mondstadt who can do that, anyway.
:Paimon: A Quadruple-Sweetness Sunsettia? Wouldn't that be...
:Arbon: As such, could you please help us check it out, dear guests? Our boss is quite concerned about this matter.
: And why won't you go yourselves?
:Arbon: Oh, come on now, dear guest, we have reputations to maintain as businesspeople. We can't just walk over there willy-nilly!
:Alberre: Exactly, it's for the sake of our reputation! And is one's reputation not one's all?
:Arbon: For my part, I must go tell our boss of your arrival, so please, lend us your aid in this matter.
:Paimon: To be honest, , Paimon's pretty curious. What would toys that take inspiration from Mondstadt look like? Would they really have something to do with alchemy? Let's just go have a look, shall we?
:Arbon: Ah, thank you so much! In that case, we shall wait for news from you here!
;(Talk to Arbon or Alberre again, optional)
:Arbon: I need to go tell the boss that the two guests he invited have arrived.
:Alberre: Well, go and return quickly, then, before I die of boredom watching the store alone.
----
;(Approach Caron)
:Paimon: Whoa, there are a ton of people here! Looks like the toys really are popular.
;(Talk to Caron)
:;(If Caron was not spoken to earlier)
:::Caron: Hello, dear customers. I'm Caron, the owner of this shop. What can I do for you?
:::Paimon: Hey there, boss! We've heard that you've come up with an awesome toy, so we'd like to know more about it.
:;(If Caron was spoken to earlier)
:::Caron: Well, aren't you the customers I saw earlier? Do you need anything?
:::Paimon: That's right, it's us! We've heard that that toy of yours is super awesome so we'd like to know more about it.
:Caron: Haha, of course you can. Still... My elder brother sent you here to seek out information, didn't he?
:Paimon: Eh? Your brother? Wait... Actually, how did you know what we were here for?
:Caron: Oh, I just saw you walking out from the clockwork workshop, that's all. My brother owns that shop, and I know him, and what he'd do. This is right up his alley.
:Paimon: Exposed before we could even get started...
:Paimon: Ugh, we should've prepped more before coming over. How were we supposed to know that you're brothers? Ugh, now this isn't just a matter of corporate competition, is it? It's brother against brother!
: Paimon, mind your language, please.
:Paimon: Sorry boss, Paimon's brain-gears got stuck there for a minute.
:Caron: Don't worry. Even the best-made toys have components that will get stuck at some point. It's the same with people, you need to take good care of them.
:Caron: Besides, I don't think you're wrong about how my brother sees our relationship. Regardless, I won't take up more of your time than needed. Let me talk about these toys instead!
:Paimon: Um... Are you sure this is okay? We're... we're supposed to be secretly gathering intel!
:Caron: Hahaha, such interesting things you say, dear customers! Our store's real bread and butter is clocks, which we make using techniques handed down from generation to generation.
:Caron: Toys are just my personal hobby. They bring happiness to people, so if I let more people know about them, is that not the same as spreading happiness?
:Paimon: Wow, that's such a... nice way of thinking about things!
:Caron: Haha, my brother would probably say that this line of thinking is too unadventurous... But that aside, why don't you have a look at the toy? I hope you'll like it.
: I heard that you got your inspiration from Mondstadt.
:Caron: Indeed, I've liked the place since I was little, and when I went there recently, it was indeed a rewarding experience for me.
:Caron: I incorporated the story of an adventurer I met there into the toy, but don't set your expectations too high, alright? In the end, it's just a simple clockwork device.
:Paimon: An adventurer? So it's not a product of alchemy, then?
:Caron: An alchemical toy? That sounds interesting. But this adventurer made quite the impression. If there's time, I'll tell you his story.
:Caron: Would you like to try the toy out now? There's nothing quite like experiencing it for yourself.
:Paimon: We'd love to, but they're still waiting for our reply on the other end. We should get there first, , and then come right back! Paimon really wants to try this adventurer toy right away!
:Caron: Alright then. Remember, you're always welcome here.
;(Talk to Caron again, optional)
:Caron: Hmm... Armand seems to be doing a lot better lately.
----
;(Approach Leschots Clockwork Workshop)
:Arbon: Boss, our two guests have returned.
:Livre: The two of you are quick indeed... As expected of people recommended by the Adventurers' Guild. I'm Livre, the owner of this shop. Welcome.
:Paimon: Hey there, boss. So you and Caron are brothers! We didn't know about that, and he saw through us right away.
:Arbon: Seriously, Alberre? You didn't tell them something this important?
:Alberre: Seriously, Arbon? Didn't we agree that you'd tell them? If you're gonna cut anyone's salary, Boss, cut his!
:Paimon: Hey, are you two brothers too?
:Arbon & Alberre: What? Don't call this guy my brother!
:Livre: Ahem... So what you mean to say is that the mission's a bust? You didn't find anything?
:Paimon: Well, no. Caron is a really nice guy, and he didn't mind even though he knew about us. He even told us that we could try the toy out anytime.
:Livre: Hehe, that guy... So, is that toy alchemically-powered?
: No, it's an adventurer toy.
:Livre: Hmph. Those things are so corny. Didn't he say that he incorporated some adventurers' story into it, or something?
:Paimon: That's right. How did you know? Did you already investigate the matter, or something?
:Livre: Hah, I just know him all too well. He always puts something sentimental into his toys without caring about the market situation. If you ask me, adventure stories are long out of fashion.
: But his shop is very popular, isn't it?
:Livre: That's just ordinary market fluctuations. Once our Champion Duelist lineup takes the stage, we'll have him beat, easy!
:Paimon: But those aren't real Champion Duelists! They're the result of us "out of fashion" adventurers play-acting.
:Livre: Hah, what do the two of you know? This is what we call packaging! It's standard practice on the market, and no one cares how exactly you do it.
:Livre: We're just going to get the data and put it into some popular toy prototypes, and claim that it's a story about the growth of a Champion Duelist — and that'll do the trick just fine!
:Paimon: Really? That's it? Paimon feels like there'll definitely be problems this way...
:Livre: It's fine if the story has issues. It's all about the gimmick.
:Livre: What would you think if I told you that Arbon and Alberre are in fact ultra-realistic, ultra-high-quality puppets based on the theme of "double act"?
:Paimon: What? They're puppets? Can puppets look so real!?
:Arbon: Of course they can.
:Alberre: That's the power of a double act! Tricks can seem very real indeed!
:Livre: See that? That's the power of packaging. Even a gimmick can, when presented the right way, generate interest!
:Paimon: Ugh, so it was just a trick! You cheater... You couldn't be more different from your brother.
:Livre: Well, that's his problem for not staying in his clockwork lane. If he wants to stick his nose into the toymaking business, it's my duty as his older brother to show him what's what.
: Quite the dab hand, aren't you?
: None more conniving than a merchant, I see.
:Livre: Thanks for the compliments. In that case, eyes up, you two. The data collection will be run by Arbon and Alberre.
:Paimon: Hehe, well, we're just gonna turn a blind eye to your brotherly conflict. Just don't skimp on our payments.
==Other Languages==
==Change History==
pt-br:Guerra de Brinquedos: Tiros Disparados
ru:Игрушечная война: Пристрелка