Squid's Gotten Crushy

Squidward's Gotten Crushy is the first episode of the 2016 series Pat Vs Pat.
== Characters ==
* SpongeBob
* Patrick
* Squidward
* Squilvia [mentioned]
* Officer T
* Krabs [not speaking]
== Transcript ==
[The scene cuts to SpongeBob's house. Squidward bangs the door]
SpongeBob: [moaning] What do you want?
Squidward: Come Outside!!!!
SpongeBob: Fine. You little piece of sh-[looking outside] HOLY SEA NEEDLE!!!!!
Squidward: MEI HAUZE IS AWN FIRE [Squidward faints after his house finally burns down to the ground]
Officer T: [Comes over to SpongeBob] He alive?
SpongeBob: Yes....I guess? What in fricks sake happened?
Officer T: Some mumbo-jumbo ignited kerosene and burned his house. We have the perpetrator in the station. His name is "Eugene Harold Krabs"
SpongeBob: My boss? Are you sure?
Officer T: Was he sniffing for money in the police station before we knocked him out?
SpongeBob: Yep, it's my boss....
Officer T: He's serving a life-sentence
SpongeBob: Wait...Who's going to pay for my house?
Officer T: We found you an apartment. A friend of yours named "Sandy" agreed to shelter you.
SpongeBob: Thank you officer.
Officer: No problem
SpongeBob: [Seeing Patrick gaze at the fire on the other side] Patrick!!!
Patrick: [Turns toward SpongeBob. Patrick runs to SpongeBob] Yeah?
SpongeBob: Move in with us!
Patrick: I heard your talk. Of course I am!
SpongeBob: One more thing. Where are we going to sleep if our houses are commended
Patrick: [Hitting with a pan to Squidward] He'll be unconscious till maybe 8 o clock. I take his left!
SpongeBob: Agreed. [The two fall asleep. Morning comes]
Patrick: Wake up!
SpongeBob: [moaning] I'm up...
Squidward: Why would he do such a thing?
SpongeBob: I thought he only bombed your house
Squidward: He set bombs near your house, but the bomb failed
SpongeBob: THAT IDIOT!!!!!
Patrick: Wait, where are we?
Sandy: At my apartment
Squidward: Can I call Squilvia
Sandy: She earning 10 an hour
Squidward: 15
Sandy: She can move
Squidward: YAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [picks up the phone] 
SpongeBob: So, Sandy are there any jobs
Sandy: Yeah...three at a 8-Twelve gas station a block away
SpongeBob: We'll apply tomorrow
Squidward: Yey [hangs up]
Patrick: Movin'
Squidward: Yes 
[Tonight. The gang is watching a TV show, except SpongeBob
SpongeBob: "Dear Diary, I made a big move today. My life changed for ever. Neptune lead me to this barr"-
Patrick: A diary?
SpongeBob: So.....
Patrick: The coconut scene is coming
SpongeBob: [running through the hallway] Really?
Patrick: Uhhhhhh............
Category:Episodes
Category:Transcripts
Category:2016
Category:Season Premieres
Category:Pilots
Category:Squidnerd
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:2010s