What If: Halo Meets Redwall

==Info==
I'm doing this bit of work as a joke. I love Halo and I love Redwall.
Remember, this is a joke. It has no bearing on any other work I'm doing, on any fanfic site.
That said, please enjoy this crazy combination of universes.
==Chapter 1: Landfall==
Two figures stood out against the stark white snow, dragging a log behind them.
Foremole looked up in to the sky. "Woohurr, 'tis a fine day fer livin'."
Furmo looked up and nodded. "Hurr, 'tis. Cold tho, carn't wait to get bark to the Abbey."
"Hurr, wot be that'n?"
A large silver disk had materialized in the blue sky, vertical. From it an even larger black object was spat out, then floated there as the disk shrank and vanished.
"Bo urr, 'tis evil beasts, come to bury us'ns!"
The two moles dropped the ropes which they had been using to haul the log along and ran for the Abbey.
***
Abbot Mordalfus trundled his way across Great Hall and down to Cavern Hole.
The two shaken moles were shivering besides the large fireplace, with Matthias and Mattimeo sitting nearby, looking puzzled.
"Now, what is this about?"
Matthias looked up, the sword of Martin the Warrior lay across his lap.
"Apparently they saw a large black object in the sky appear from an even larger silver disk, Father."
Mordalfus chuckled. "Been hitting the October Ale too heavy again, Foremole?"
His light attitude was shattered when Foremole turned and looked at him. His pupils were dilated, and he was sweating long beads of fluid, even though the fire was roasting not three full paces away.
"Farther, Oi know wot Oi saw. T'were a large object, floatin' in 'ee sky."
***
News of the flying object spread like wildfire throughout the Abbey, with most dismissing it as a hallucination. However, a certain few were sure that Foremole spoke the truth, a mysterious object really had materialized in the sky.
Matthias and his son, Mattimeo, didn't know what to think of it as they pondered the question over dinner. Cornflower didn't seem worried, and she made that clear.
"If it is a problem, then I'm sure we can find a way to deal with it. If its not a problem, then its not a problem."
***
Three huge creatures menaced the hedgehog's family, making demands he could not meet.
"Arrr, tell us where yar vittles are, or I'll gut yeh with me sticker."
One of the hedgehogs responded. "Please sir, we don't have any..."
Another rat snarled and waved his sword. "Liars. You look too plump fer poor little animals. Now hand 'em over!"
"Hey, scar face."
One of the rats turned and stared at a strange green giant with a golden visor. "Hey look, muckers. Some beast wot thinks he can barge in on our fun."
The voice emanated from the giant again. "Never knew fun had anything to do with torture. Now get out of here before I kill you."
The third one stabbed the air with his blade. "Kill us!? Hah! Yer can't see us with that helmet! Get him, boys!"
The rat charged, and swung at the giant.
He was shocked by what happened next.
His blade stopped in midair, about a paw's width from the giant's armor, and a golden shimmering covered the part of the armor that the blade had struck.
"Wot-"
The giant's fist came around, slaying the rat instantly and sending him flying about thirty paces in to the trees.
Another charged, screaming, and a blade sprang from the green giant's armor. It cut the sword off at the hilt and slashed the rat in half.
The last rat had one of the hedgehogs in a headlock, his blade at the spiky creature's throat.
The giant grabbed a strange metal object from his leg. It looked like some kind of extended blade handle. There almost seemed no way that it could have been held there.(3)
The rat snarled. "What, you going to throw that handle at me? I'll stick this hedgepig if'n you move!"
"Fine."
The end of the handle exploded, and so did the rat's head.
The hedgehog scuttled back to his family, shaking. This giant was obviously not a regular creature. His helmet didn't point out like most other creature's.
The giant stepped forward. It was hard to tell where he was looking, although his helmet pointed at the family.
"Are you alright?"
The hedgehog nodded. "Wot are yeh?"
The giant cocked his head. "Spartan D1074."
The hedgehog squinted. "That's not a name."
D1074 shrugged. "Its the only one I've known."
"Where are yeh bound?"
The "Spartan" looked at the bodies. "I don't know."
"Yeh might try Redwall Abbey!"
The head came back around. It felt eerie, staring at himself and knowing that some... thing was staring back.
"What's that place?"
The hedgehog's jaw dropped. "You don't know Redwall?"
Again, the shrug. "I don't even know what planet I'm on."
This was a poser. He decided against arguing it. "Well then, try traveling south fer a few hours. Ye'll see a large red brick building. That's Redwall, 'tis a grand place."
The giant nodded. "You said you had no food?"
The hedgehog shook his head. "Aye, we've been searching for days now."
The giant stood forward, and the hedgehog family reflexively stepped backward. Up close the hedgehog father could see that the giant was somewhere between the height of an otter and the height of a badger. He handed them a bag.
"Thanks for your help. Here's some food for now. There's an orchard back north a ways."
And with that, the giant disappeared. A crashing was heard, and the father saw some leaves rustle.
Jubilation turned to his family. "Did what I see happen really happen?"
They all stared back at him.
***
The knock on the gate was unexpected, and Mattimeo was suspicious. He strode up the wall steps and peeked down at the path.
He saw a green giant standing there, its golden visor tilted up, straight at the young mouse.
Mattimeo ducked back behind the battlements and scuttled off.
***
Spartan D1074, known as Peec to those close to him, looked up to the top of the walls, bemused by the many creatures arrayed there. He saw mice, squirrels, otters, hedgehogs, even a badger that was slightly taller than him. It was the first to speak.
"Who are you and what do you want?"
Peec stood hands on hips. "I'm Spartan D1074, and I was pointed here by a family of hedgehogs in the woods that I helped."
The badger didn't like him. To her credit, she hid it well, but the zoom in on his helmet and his sharp eyes saw the tightening around her eyes, the slight parting of her lips, showing long, sharp teeth.
"How came you to this place?"
"I ran."
"Do you know anything of a large silver disk and a floating object in the sky?"
"I better, that was my ship I came in on!"
A murmuring was heard among the assembled creatures. This time a mouse spoke, wielding a brilliant sword.
"Ships sail the seas, not the skies, vermin! Begone from Redwall."
Peec grimaced behind his helmet. He knew when he wasn't wanted. Good thing he knew how to make himself be wanted.
"I can still get in there, no matter how many guard your wall tops. Would be easier to open the gates." He stated quite calmly.
The badger roared. "I'd like to see you try, liar!"
"Very well, then."
Peec took a run at the closest tree and leapt halfway up the trunk in one bound. He spun and launched himself up, and on to the parapets.
The creatures were standing in a line along the battlements, staring at him as he landed, catlike.
He stood upright as Constance and the mouse who had spoken moved towards him. He held up his hands, empty, as a sign of peace.
"I don't come here to harm you, just to seek information."
The two paused in their charge, not two meters from him. He knew that this would be a matter of diplomacy.
The badger growled. "And how do we know you won't harm us?"
"If I had wanted to harm you, I could have done so long ago."
The mouse laughed. "And how is that? You have no weapons!"
Peec shrugged and pulled his pistol off his thigh. There was an audible gasp as the object separated.
"What do you call this?"
"Its a metal handle. Is this some kind of game?"
"No. Pick me a target."
"What?"
"Like for archery, pick one."
The badger chose what she thought would be a hard target.
"Big apple hanging off that limb of the far left."
He snapped his arms up and fired.
To the creatures on the wall all it was like a fast thunder crack, and the apple exploded, raining juices everywhere.
They all stood stunned, then a mouse, younger than the one carrying the sword, spoke. "What is that?"
Peec holstered the pistol. "SM6D standard issue pistol."
"What does that mean?"
"Its a deadly weapon, don't touch it."
They all nodded, and Peec folded his arms over his chest.
"Now, may I please enter your Abbey?"
The badger and two mice nodded, and they showed him to the front door.
***
Mordalfus looked up from where he was tending to the Dibbuns when the door opened.
Constance strode in first, looking furious, and then Matthias and Mattimeo, then an armored giant.
The sight of this giant cause Mordalfus to protectively stand forward to protect the young ones.
The giant's golden visor was sweeping Cavern Hole, taking in his surroundings.
"Welcome to Redwall. How may we help you?"
The visor turned to him. "I'm not sure how you can, to be honest. I know I'm in Redwall, but what planet am I on?"
"Planets? I know not what you speak of. But please, introductions should come first. I am Abbot Mordalfus, Father of Redwall Abbey."
The green giant shook the proffered paw, and Mordalfus felt dwarfed by its strength and size. "Spartan D1074, at your service, sir."
"That doesn't seem like much of a name to me."
D1074 shrugged. "The rest of my team calls me by another name, but we don't generally share it with those not close to us."
The small ones seemed curious, yet wary of this giant. They peeked out from around furniture and Father Abbot's habit, staring up at the newcomer. They hid themselves as his helmet turned towards them.
Constance saw this glance and moved to block his view of them. "You still haven't explained how you got here."
"I told you, I landed with my ship."
The mouse with the sword shook his head. "Ships sail the seas, not the skies."
Peec folded his arms. "Maybe I should show you, then."
***
Matthias and Mattimeo sat on the wall steps, enjoying the cool air. Constance paced in front of them. "This is wrong. How can a ship fly? What is that 'Spartan', really?"
Matthias shook his head and shifted the sword to a more comfortable position. "I don't know Constance, but you know that he would have killed us if he wanted. None of us can stop... whatever that 'pistol' does."
Constance growled, a long, high pitched growl.
But it did not end when she stopped and stood staring towards the sky.
Matthias and the rest looked up and saw the black object floating there. Strange blue flames came from underneath it as the object slowly lowered to the ground, with creatures running out from under it.
Heat waves melted the snow and turned it to steam, then the blue flames disappeared. An eerie humming was heard, and a ramp extended from the rear of this object, and the Spartan walked out, still fully armored.
"This is my ship, Spear's Tip. Probably fitting for the circumstances I'm in."
The Redwallers stood in awe. Foremole had been right! There really was a ship that could fly.
***
While the "Spartan" worked on his ship, Abbot Mordalfus gathered the Redwallers in Great Hall to discuss the arrival of this strange creature.
"Please friends, calm down! This creature has done nothing to harm us, merely frighten two of our number unintentionally. I propose we get to know him first." The Abbot called, bringing silence to the hall.
"I agree, we should at least give him the benefit of the doubt, for now." Matthias said, still fiddling with the Sword of Martin the Warrior. "Jubilation brought his family in just a few minutes ago. Apparently an armored green creature saved his family from three rats. He killed one of the rats with a punch, and the rat flew more than thirty paces before striking a tree!"
This caused a slight murmur. "We don't even know what manner of creature he is!" A voice called out.
"So let me go find out what he is." The warrior said, rising from his seat and striding out of the abbey. Constance rose and followed him.
The Spartan had crawled underneath his ship, and was fiddling with something. Weird strings fell from the bottom of the black metal.
"Spartan, come out. We need to talk to you."
"You want to know what species of creature I am, and whether I'm friendly or not. I heard you talking." D1074 said, pushing himself out from under the ship.
"That's impossible." Constance said.
"Not when you've had chemicals put in you to make your hearing more than ten times what it was." The Spartan stood, his golden visor reflecting the badger and mouse's image. "You'd have to be halfway up the abbey before your voices became muffled to me."
==Notes==
#UNSC-United Nations Space Command. The overall commanding force for the human military corps.
#MJOLNIR Armor has magnetic clamps used to hold weapons on to a Spartan's body.
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Category:Crossovers
Category:Mattimeo Sequels