The Toast Burner of Doom/Transcript

This is the transcript for "The Toast Burner of Doom". 
==Script==
*(NH is looking at his billboard of failed plans.)
*NH: I may have failed at my plans 1,251 times, but I have a feeling this plan won't fail. What I need is a type of device to give me the ability to read other's minds, and then I'll be unstoppable! (NH laughs maniacally, and then coughs.) Hm, I need some help to build the machine. But who? Ah, yes, my servant.
*(Cut to NH walking in the woods.)
*NH: Servant! I need you!
*(Rig comes out of bush.)
*Rig: Yeeeeeeees?
*NH: I need you to help me build my evil superweapon of DOOM.
*Rig: Okie dokie. Just let me finish flying with the squirrels!
*NH: What?! How many times do I have to tell you?! The squirrels are our enemy!
*Rig: I thought the mayor was our enemy.
*NH: The squirrels are a different enemy. A squirrely enemy......of squirrels. Now come!
*Rig: Aw, I gotta go squirrels, see you later!
*(NH and Rig leave the woods and head inside Rack's house.)
*Rig: So, what is it? A toaster?
*NH: No Rig. How can I rule the world with a toaster?
*Rig: I dunno. You could be the ruler of bread.
*NH: I don't want to!
*Rig: When it's done, can we put toast in it?!
*NH: Absolutely not!
*Rig: But it's a toaster!
*NH: No, it-. Wait a minute. Yes, yes it is.
*Rig: Yay!
*(Rig moves around on the floor.)
*NH: (facepalm): I need an aspirin.
*(A montage plays of the two building the machine.)
*NH: Well, it's finished, so let's not let science wait.
*Rig: Okie dokie. Just let me lick this snow cone.
*(10 minutes later.)
*NH: Are you almost done?
*Rig: Yep.
*(30 minutes later.)
*NH: Rig! Push the button! Now!
*Rig: The huh?
*NH: The button of the machine.
*Rig: What machine?
*NH: Why did I pick you as my servant?
*Rig: Dunno. But look at my tongue!
*(Rig shows her tongue, which is blue.)
*NH: Yes, yes, that's brilliant, but just press the button!
*Rig: Okie dokie.
*(Rig goes by the button on the machine.)
*Rig: Ooh, is that the hole?
*(Rig puts bread in the hole.)
*Rig: Yay! Make me a toastie!
*(Rig pushes the button. The machine then malfunctions, and explodes.)
*NH: What happened?! Why do I not feel any different?!
*Rig: Well, I gotta go fly with the squirrels, K?
*(Rig leaves.)
*NH: That imbecile must've ruined the machine somehow. Sigh, time to add it to the list.
*(NH adds it to his list of failed plans. Cut to NH in the kitchen.)
*Rack: Ready for breakfast, NH?
*NH: Don't talk to me, human. I detest breakfast.
*Rack: Aw, what's wrong grumpy Gus?!
*NH: You'll see what grumpy is in a minute.
*Rack: Aw, is someone cranky?
*NH: Yes, very. Even more so with you around!
*Rack: Aw, I know something to cheer you up!
*NH: What?
*(Rack goes away for a moment and brings out puppets.)
*Rack: A puppet show.
*NH: Yay. What's next? Let's Bury NH Alive? Because I'd find that more pleasant.
*(Later....... Rack is in the kitchen, while NH is in the living room.)
*Rack: I'm so glad NH liked the puppet show!
*NH: I hate that human. Treating me like a monkey.
*Rack: (making sandwich): Ah, bread. Soft and white, just the way I like it. Oops, forgot something. *leaves*
*NH: That human makes me so mad I could-.
*(Rack's bread suddenly burns.)
*NH: What is this?!
*(NH amazingly makes all of the bread in a bag stay in mid air.)
*NH: Do I have a superpower of some kind?
*(NH concentrates on a piece of bread and turns it into toast.)
*NH: Yes! Yes! Yeeeeeeeeeeeees! I must use my new ability for evil! I. Am. Super. WOLF! Muhahahahhahahahhahahahhahah! I must use my new ability all over the town!
*(NH leaves.)
*(NH is outside.)
*NH: I am Super Wolf, hear me howl! (Howls)
*Rack: Why is my bread burnt? Hm, maybe I should go to US about this.
*(Rack heads down to US's office.)
*US: Oh, good, is my butt comforter here yet?! I need my butt comfy.
*Rack: Um, no. It's me, Rack.
*US: Raclk! Why are you here?
*Rack: Look at what happened to my bread. *Holds up a piece of toast*
*US: What is this amazing creation? Crispy, blackened bread? I shall call you......toast! I just invented a new food!
*Rack: Uh, toast already exists.
*US: What do you mean?! Who stole my wonderful idea?!
*Rack: Anyways.......
*US: No, not anyways! I must find who stole my brilliant idea!
*Rack: But US-. Meh.
*(Rack leaves.)
*(US goes in her closet.)
*US(Voice only): No one steals my ideas and gets away with it!
*(US gets out wearing a ball gown.)
*Dep Mayor: Why are you wearing a ball gown?
*US: Well, I need to look my best when I pwn.
*Dep Mayor: Huh?
*US: Doesn't matter. Anyway, get me some juice and noodles at the store as my victory dinner.
*Dep Mayor: Why?
*US: 'Cause I want you to.
*Dep Mayor: What if I don't want to?
*US: If you don't go to the store, and pick me up juice and noodles, I will shoot you in the knee.
*Dep Mayor: Well, I do like my kneecaps...........
*US: Here's a little tip: Don't mess with me. If you do, say goodbye to something you love.
*Dep Mayor: Yes sir-ma'am!
*US: That's more like it! Get me a butt comforter too! See ya later!
*(US leaves.)
*(Meanwhile, NH is terrorizing the town.)
*NH: Hahahahahhahahahha! Enjoy your burnt sammich!
*US: Hey!
*NH: Ugh, US, what are you doing here?!
*US: I'd like to ask you the same question. Why did you steal my idea?!
*NH: Huh?
*US: Don't you 'huh" me! Do you know who you're talking to?!
*NH: Someone insane.
*US: Alright, that's it! Dance battle! Now!
*NH: Huh?
*US: (Dances): I'm doing better than you!
*NH: (Shrugs): Time to burn more sammiches!
*US(Dancing): You should just give up! You're talking to the 10 time Dance Champion of the World!
*(NH, ignoring US, is turning all the bread in town into toast.)
*US: (Dancing, grabbing out butter): I know something that'll make him slip! Good thing I always keep butter in my pocket!
*(US throws the butter.)
*NH: Yes, enjoy your burnt sammich too! (The butter gets in his eyes) Ah, my weakness! My eyes! My beautiful eyes! My beautiful, precious eyes! They burn!
*US: Ha, I knew I'd win!
*Dep Mayor: (Unenthusiastic): Here's your victory dinner.
*US: Yes! (Eats/Drinks it all immediately)
*Dep Mayor: Time for your nap.
*US: Aw, just a few more minutes!
*Dep Mayor: Nope.
*US: Fine.
*(US and Dep Mayor leave.)
*NH: No! My power! Gone! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
*(Rig pops up eating a snow cone.)
*Rig: Wanna snow cone? It has manure in it!
*NH: I'll pass. But, Super Wolf will return AGAIN! YOU WILL SEE! YOU'LL ALL SEE!
*Rig: C'mon, you know you want it!
*NH: Rig, don't ruin my dramatic moments!
*THE END.
Category:Transcripts