The Simpsons: Hit and Run - Level 1/Quotes

====Bart's Tutorial Tips====
=====Starting the Game=====
Bart Simpson: Alright...player one, uh Homer, I mean HOMER. Use the Control Stick to move around, this is called "walking". Press the A button to jump, press and hold the X button to run. Every time you're in the air, hit the jump button again to get a little extra push. Got it
=====Coins=====
Homer Simpson: Oh, brain like shiny things.
Bart Simpson: Yeah great, these shiny things are called "coins". Whenever you get enough of those, you can get a cool surprise.
=====Gags=====
Bart Simpson: There are bunch of these scattered in each level. Little surprises are hidden inside each one. Be sure to come back again to see if there's something you've missed.
=====Collector Cards=====
Bart Simpson: There are some collector cards hidden all over Springfield, find the other ones and sweep the reward as yours for the taking and you can take a closer look at the card, as you can see them from the pause menu. And don't get your stinky fingers on them fatty!
=====Wasp Cameras=====
Bart Simpson: Nobody knows why these things have turned up all over Springfield, they always seemed to turn up whenever something exciting happens. I don't know what they are but violence is always the appropriate response of the unknown.
=====Breaking Random Objects=====
Bart Simpson: That's the stuff psycho! ...And so it begins...
=====Getting into your Vehicle=====
Bart Simpson: Press the Y button to get into the car and don't take all day, this is the tutorial!
=====Controlling Vehicles=====
Bart Simpson: OK big boy, here's how you drive this sandbox. Press the A button to accelerate, use the control stick to steer, the X button is your brake and reverse, and the B button is your handbrake. You know, like every driving game ever.
=====Entering Buildings=====
Bart Simpson: You can go inside certain buildings by pressing the Y button...oh, why did I agree to do the stupid tutorial. It is so boring!
=====Mission Completed=====
Bart Simpson: Congratulations Homer! Mission Complete! Now go back home and talk to Mom to start the next mission.
=====Wrenches=====
Bart Simpson: Way to go Homer, you're the man!! Collecting wrenches fixes your car.
=====Bonus Missions=====
Bart Simpson: OK, around town you might probably run into a few people which I like to call "losers". Even they need your ride, maybe they need help. Whatever the point is to help them out and they will be available to help driving your lazy butt around.
===== Races=====
Bart Simpson: Here's how this works: Milhouse, Nelson and Ralph have set up some races around town. Win all the races to get a new vehicle. Well, what are you waiting for.
=====Wager Races=====
Bart Simpson: If you really need to have a drive, you can always enter one of those time trial races. They can cost a little but they're in the mood for your payoff.
====Caravan Park Time Trial====
Homer Simpson: Milhouse you little weiner, what are you doing here.
Milhouse Van Houten: Patty and Selma won't let me ride a bike without safety wheels unless I run the driving tests.
(Homer prepares for a time trial while Milhouse starts off)
Milhouse Van Houten: 3, 2, 1!
(Homer wins the time trial)
Patty Bouvier: This is so depressing...I'm going to feed your driver's license to Jub-Jub.
====Rich District Circuit Race====
Homer Simpson: I know you, you're that kid who sells me goods like CDs on the street corner.
Nelson Muntz: Yeah well, I've been having some later problems lately so I start running these races for the DMV. It was this ordeal to the elderly.
(Nelson starts the race)
Nelson Muntz: 3, 2, psyche! 1...go...
(Homer wins the circuit race)
Patty Bouvier: This is terrible. I'm gonna drown my sorrows at the Golden Banana.
====Suburban-Countryside Checkpoint Race====
Homer Simpson: Hello little son of a police chief little one.
Ralph Wiggum: These man-ladies make me a race judge!
(Ralph starts the race)
Ralph Wiggum: 1, 1, 1, go!
(Homer wins the checkpoint race)
Patty Bouvier: Ugh, this is worse when Jub-Jub ate my cat.
;The Cola Caper
:Marge: Homie, somebody ate every dessert in the house. I need you to run to the store and pick up some of the ice cream with the miniture-pies in it.
:Homer: Ah, that must've been one of our kids. Probably Milhouse.
----
;Pretty Theft Homer
:Ned: Pft, Homer. Some of my possessions have disappeared. I called the police to find the culprit.
:Homer: Culprit, eh?
:Ned: My lawn mower, my cooler, my lawn chair, a family portrait, even Rod's inhalator. What kind of sick individual would take this stuff?
:Homer: (Oh no, I borrowed all of Flanders stuff, quick! Think of an excuse to get out of here!) Uh, excuse me, I think I have to go... shuck some... corn...