Forescore Jones vs. Baldness

== Transcript ==
FORESCORE: My name is Forescore Jones, and yes, today I have decided to wear a toupée. I just thought I’d try it out for a while, it’s not like I’m trying to fool anybody about the fact that I am slightly bald… I may be trying to fool zombies, but that’s it.
FORESCORE’S APPRENTICE: Hey, nice hair, man.
FORESCORE: Uh, thank you.
FORESCORE’S APPRENTICE: *sniff sniff* .. Kinda smells like a werewolf.
FORESCORE: What’choo say?
FORESCORE’S APPRENTICE: It totally smells like a werewolf, man, it must be made out of werewolf hair, you know, the hair of a werewolf?
FORESCORE: Why would anybody make a wig out of werewolf hair?
FORESCORE’S APPRENTICE: Aha! So it is a wig!
TOUPÉE SALESMAN: Ah, my most recent customer, come back for more, eh?
FORESCORE: You sold me werewolf hair! The hair of a fucking werewolf! Explain yourself!
TOUPÉE SALESMAN: Well, I never!
FORESCORE: Where’d you get this werewolf hair from anyways? Are you a werewolf?
TOUPÉE SALESMAN: No I’m just a toupée salesman.
FORESCORE: Well you listen to me, Jason Bateman, if I find out you’re lying to me I’m gonna shove this silver bullet right up your werewolf anus, and then I’m going to shoot another one directly into your heart, cause the first one, that’s not even gonna kill you, but trust me, it’s gonna be pretty goddamn uncomfortable. And you’re gonna have that goddamn thing up your werewolf anus for the rest of your life, including the afterlife cause it’s gonna stay there in werewolf heaven, because that’s how the afterlife works! Now please, give me another toupée, and this one better be 99.999% free of werewolf hair.
FORESCORE’S APPRENTICE: Hey, nice hair, man!
FORESCORE: Yeah, it doesn’t smell like a werewolf at all, does it?
FORESCORE’S APPRENTICE: Nope, smells like someone pissed on it for two hours and then ate it, and then vomited the whole thing back onto your bald head.
FORESCORE: But it doesn’t smell like a werewolf.
FORESCORE’S APPRENTICE: Nope, it’s definitely not werewolf hair.
FORESCORE: Yep, it looks like Forescore Jones wins this round.
(End)
__NOTOC__
__NOEDITSECTION__