Headhunters: The Fantastic Fourteen

== Introduction ==
There was no divine intervention this week from the Fantasy Gods. After another week in which several teams were teetering on the edge of extinction, the ax finally fell on a squad that set their lineup, had bid big on players, was doing all the things a manager should do to survive, but just forgot to score points.
== In Memorium: @FFDraftScott ==
Eight time Yahoo Fantasy Football champion, FFDraftScott was one of the favorites in LOC Headhunters. They are good people. But this week something went horribly wrong. Maybe he was too busy being perfect elsewhere? Maybe his newborn child set his lineup? Whatever the case may be, the promise of FFDraft taking the league by storm went unfulfilled like Michael's promise for Scott's Tots. 
An injury to Damien Williams forced FF to start 80-year-old Darren Sproles in flex2 and Kalen Ballsack Ballage in flex3, while his RB1 Sony Michel ran into a brick wall repeatedly all afternoon and barely escaped with his 8.13 points. 
At WR it was underwhelming all around, with Davante continuing to struggle in an offense led by the ghost of Aaron Rodgers and Tyler Boyd stifled by Scott's own Buffalo defense. Classic case of snake eating it's own tail. Speaking of tales, it's one as old as time. Scotty was hoping for a repeat performance from Mostart, who balled out last week for San Fran, only for regression to set in like it has for Guilloteam's hairline. All around, it was a dud day for Scotty and you cannot have those in Headhunters.
After climbing 11 spots from 15th to 4th in week two, FF dropped 11 spots back to 15th. Except this time, 15th is last. We will miss you, Scott. But more importantly, I make it another week without having to start doing writeups for a league I'm not even in.
FFDraftScott:
== New Releases ==
For the first time, a player is hitting the market who has already been bid on. In parentheses is the previous winning bid for that player.
# Davante Adams
# Damien Williams
# DJ Moore ($179)
# Sony Michel
# Tyler Boyd
== Week Three Bidding Results ==
Week Three Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid 	Next Highest Bid
Todd Gurley 	DogTheKareemHunter	$369 (damn you're fine)	$305 (Kupp for Cobb)
Tom Brady 	DogTheKareemHunter	$280 	$201 (Bad Boys)
Deshaun Watson 	Bad Boys 	$200 	$167 (Henry VIII)
Tyreek Hill 	Kupp for Your Cobb	$174 	$149 (Henry VIII)
Tyrell Williams 	Bobecue Chicken 	$152 	$121 (Chris P)
Sterling Shepard 	Bobecue Chicken 	$152 	$50 (Kupp for Cobb)
Devin Smith (who?) 	Bluedevils 	$150 	None
Melvin Gordon 	Henry VIII 	$124 	$69 (Al Snow (nice))
LeSean McCoy 	DogTheKareemHunter	$96 	$12 (Chris P)
Demarcus Robinson 	Bobecue Chicken 	$77 	$69 (Al Snow (grow up Zach))
Jordan Reed 	Wrath of Saquon 	$65 	None
LAR D 	Out of Luck 	$38 	None
JJ Arcega-Whiteside	Kupp for Your Cobb	$15 	$13 (FFDraftScott...RIP)
Jaylen Samuels 	Bad Boys 	$7 	None
San Francisco D 	The Guilloteam 	$3 	$2 (Henry VIII)
Okay, lot to dissect here. I'll try to break it down into some quick bullet points. 
*Nate blowing almost his entire budget on three players and then finishing in 14th out of 15 with 140 points is hilarious.
*Bluedevils dropping 15% of their total annual FAAB budget on a player no one else bid on and who scored 6 against the Dolphins is preposterous. 
*Tyreek and Melvin both going for big money for two players who aren't playing...interesting. 
*You have to respect Out of Luck going after his guys, spending UP to ensure he gets his defense. Of course, he now has three defenses and he didn't even start the one he paid for, but respect the hustle. Soon he's going to have ten defenses and we're all going to be screwed.
*Wrath of Saquon just screaming "eliminate me" with that Jordan Reed add.
*Bad Boys bid $200 on each of the premiere QBs that hit the market and in an alternate universe he won both and went bankrupt and I imagine that universe's me being very amused. 
== Your Financial Portfolio ==
One team is already almost out of money as we approach the quarter point of the season. A couple teams have almost their entire budget remaining. This table is now sortable, so you can sort by any column.
 
Team 	Amount Spent	Points Earned	Cost Per Point
#DogtheKareemHunter	$745 	70.15 	$10.62
Neck-Fix and Chill 	$563 	54.31 	$10.37
Bobecue Chicken 	$381 	55.63 	$6.85
Cam Shaft 	$355 	42.08 	$8.44
Bad Boys 	$207 	47.34 	$4.38
The Guilloteam 	$203 	54.60 	$3.72
FFDraftScott 	$179 	38.15 	$4.69
Kupp for Your Cobb 	$176 	2 	$88
Henry VIII 	$157 	1.4 	$112.14 (this is fine)
Bluedevils 	$150 	6.30 	$23.81
Wrath of Saquon 	$65 	0 	$65
Out of Luck 	$38 	0 	$38
Chris P's Neat Team	$9 	19.36 	$0.47
*Best Investor: Guilloteam
*Worst Investor: Henry VIII and it's not even close.
== Week Three Results ==
Week Three Results
Finish (Last Week)	Player 	Total Points
1 (12) 	Al Snow's Fav Squad	241.99
2 (4) 	Out of Luck 	237.16
3 (15) 	Bad Boys 	223.83
4 (2) 	Chris P's Neat Team	203.89
5 (7) 	Kupp for Your Cobb?	194.48
6 (1) 	The Guilloteam 	190.10
7 (6) 	Bluedevils 	188.45
8 (13) 	Bobecue Chicken 	187.11
9 (5) 	Henry VIII 	172.36
10 (14) 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	164.71
11 (9) 	Cam Shaft 	163.73
12 (11) 	Wrath of Saquon 	155.75
13 (10) 	Philip's Team 	155.28
14 (8) 	DogTheKareemHunter 	140.03
15 (4) 	@FFDraftScott 	131.13
16 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	0
17 	Moore $ Mo Problems	0
* Biggest Climber: Bad Boys (up 12 spots)
* Biggest Faller: FFDraftScott (down 11 spots)
== Kings of the Castle ==
# Chris P's Neat Team - One of only two teams averaging over 200 points per game, Chris is also one of only four teams that still have over $950 in their budget. But Chris P has a weakspot, and thy name is Davante Adams. It could be a big spending week for the league's top squad.
# Al Snow's Fav Squad - I am officially nervous about this team. They are 2nd in the league in scoring and they haven't spent a dime. They have legit talent at every position, including defense. It's Rodgers at QB, Allen/Cooper at WR, McCaffrey at RB, and Ebron (eh, he's okay) at TE. Rounded out with a surprisingly solid GB defense, and this team already has a roster that could go all the way. 
# Out of Luck - This team has snuck up on me. They are the league's 3rd highest scorer and finished nearly atop the standings this week with a 237 explosion. They have $962 left to spend and they are healthy, but a big TE bye this week for Kittle might complicate things.
# The Guilloteam - The G-Team didn't skip a beat after losing Antonio Brown, getting huge production out of their flex spots by plugging in Philly Dorsett on top of Franky G the Unretireable and running for miles and miles and Miles Sanders.
# Kupp for Your Cobb? - The Coop Troop has been rolling, despite a scary situation at RB (they started Justin Jackson and Darrel Williams this week). Lamar Jackson has been a baller for a 119th overall pick and this team looks like it could survive long enough for Tyreek Hill to return. 
== On the Chopping Block ==
# Philip's Team - You have to respect a team that has made it to week four despite not ever setting their lineup or making a roster move. They've won with Ito Smith and Kenyan Drake as their starting RBs and they start three TE's every week. One of them is Kyle Rudolph, who barely even counts as a player. It gets better because they don't even have a starter on the bye this week.
# Wrath of Saquon - The wrath of Saquon has been levied on Wrath of Saquon. The star RB is out one-two months, putting Wrath in a horrible position. No serious RB talent hit the market this week, so 13th place Saquon will have to hope that Phil Lindsay and Chris Thompson can carry the load. Or hey, maybe Giovani Bernard will pan out?
# Henry VIII - TY Hilton is questionable and Robby Anderson is on the bye. That likely means rolling out AJ fucking Brown again and hoping they outscore their 1 point from week three. It's bad for Henry top to bottom and it is a small miracle they have finished in the middle of the pack every week. Dalvin Cook is basically the only player on this team. 
# DogTheKareemHunter - I just don't know with this fucking team. They should be good but they're not. It's the Nate Effect.
# Cam Shaft - Getting better for Cam with Edelman and Cohen but still performing under projection every week. Also, no Cam.
== Average Scores of Eliminated Teams ==
Week Three Results
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Survived
FFDraftScott 	160.38 	3
Ya Hate 2 See It 	143.18 	2
Moore $ Mo Problems	115.16 	1
== Remaining Budget ==
Remaining Budget as of 09/24/19
Player 	Total Points
Al Snow's Fav Squad	1000
Philip's Team 	1000
Chris P's Neat Team	991
Out of Luck 	962
Wrath of Saquon 	935
Bluedevils 	850
Henry VIII 	843
Kupp for Your Cobb?	811
The Guilloteam 	797
Bad Boys 	793
Cam Shaft 	645
Bobecue Chicken 	619
Neck-Fix and Chill 	437
DogTheKareemHunter 	255
@FFDraftScott 	0
Moore $ Mo Problems	0
Ya Hate 2 See It 	0
==Bye Weeks==
*New York Jets
*San Francisco 49ers
And that's all for now, folks. Happy bidding!