Night Shift Pat/transcript

(SpongeBob looks out the window)
SpongeBob: Hey, Gary, did you always wonder what Patrick does at nighttime?
Gary: Meow.
(Cut to inside Patrick's rock)
Patrick: (looking at the TV) That guy got hit with a coconut! HAHAHAHAHA! (He looks at the clock) Oooohh. It's time for dinner! I forgot again! (Patrick walks over to his cabinets) Breakfast, Lunch, Snack, DINNER!! (He opens the cabinet) What will I have tonight?
(He looks at a list that clearly reads:)
MONDAY: CHEESEBURGER
TUESDAY: CHEESEBURGER
WEDNESDAY: CHEESEBURGER
THURSDAY: SOUP
FRIDAY: SOUP
Patrick: Toady's the cheeseburger! (He pulls out a box of cereal) This is not a cheeseburger. This is...FRUITI!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! SpongeBob! HELP ME!
(Back at SpongeBob's)
SpongeBob: Sounds like Patrick found the cereal box in his dinner cabinet.
(Back at Patrick's)
Patrick: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAA! Wait a minute. This isn't fruit. AAAAAAAAH! This is cereal! It goes in the breakfast cabinet. Now where's that cheeseburger?
(He opens a cabinet full of steaming hot soup)
Patrick: Barnacles! I'm out of cheeseburgers! I'll have to go to the Barg-n-Mart.
(He walks up to the Barg-n-Mart Door)
Patrick: Hello? Anybody in here? Hello?
Timecard: 15 MINUTES LATER...
Patrick: No response. DON'T WORRY! I'LL FREE YOU!
(He breaks through the glass door and the siren goes off)
Patrick: This happened again?! I'M IN ROCK BOTTOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Policeman #1: Patrick, what are you doing here at 9:00 PM?
Patrick: Oh, I thought it was 9:00 AM! And i'm getting a cheeseburger.
Policeman #2: Here you go.
Patrick: aaaaaaaaah! It's a CHEESEBURGER!!!! I've never ate one of these.
Policeman #1: Sir, you've ate 43 of them this year.
Patrick: Oh yeah. Well, thanks for the cheeseburger!
Policeman #2: You're welcome!
Patrick: I'M INVITED TO YOUR HOUSE?! HURRAY!
Policeman #2: No you're not.
Patrick (starts crying): PATRICK SAD!
Policeman#1: He's Weird!
Patrick: (Dramatically) WHY? Why did you say that? (Normally) By the way, can you ride me home?
Policeman: Why?
Patrick: I'm tired, that's why!
Policeman: Okay, okay!!! Sheesh, what a dim-wit!
(Everybody sits in the police car. Car starts, the police car drives)
Patrick: (Look interested) Where are you taking me? I am too young to be in jail! Help!
(Patrick hits policeman - siren goes to work. Cut to the police car approaching Patrick's Rock)
Patrick: HELP!
(In SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob wakes up)
SpongeBob: Good morning...Wait. It's 10:00 PM? No matter - OH NO! PATRICK'S GOING TO JAIL! (screams, runs right out of the house) What happened, Patrick?
Patrick: Eee... I don't know... But I have cheeseburger for dinner!
SpongeBob: Dinner? 10:00 PM?
Patrick: Wait. When I started dinner was 8:00 PM!
SpongeBob: Looks like you went for cheeseburger for two hours? No matter - I go home and you go home to SLEEP - Get it?
Patrick: Eee... Maybe...
(At the same time the police car returns)
SpongeBob: Have you forgotten something?
Policeman1# : Yes, Patrick forgot his book on how to sleep.
SpongeBob: But Patrick always sleeps.
Policeman1# : Oh yeah. So this is yours, Mr. SquarePants.
SpongeBob: But I know how to sleep.
Policeman1# : I mean for your snail.
SpongeBob: Gary, do you know how to sleep?
Gary: Meow (Translation: Yes)
SpongeBob: Gary knows how to sleep.
Policeman#1: Oh. Okay, so this is my brother's book.
Policeman#2 : You mean mine?
Policeman#1: Um, yeah.
Policeman#2 : Yes it is mine.
(Patrick gets out of his rock and burps really loud)
SpongeBob: I told you to sleep.
Patrick: Well I had to eat.
SpongeBob: OK, Patrick good night.
Patrick (While burping): Good night to you too.
Policeman1# : zzzzzzzz
SpongeBob: zzzzzzzzzz
Patrick: zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Policeman#2 : Now, to fall a sleep first you have to get bored, how do I get bored, second close your eyes, how on earth do I do that? Oh how do I do it! Oh, I'll always be... (starts crying really loud) AWAKE!
THE END
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:2009