The Horrible Doctor Ep

The eleventh episode of the second season. Enjoy!
==Script==
*(Inside a hospital. The nameplate says "Dr. Bumlips" with patients waiting in the waiting room.)
*Woman: What's taking him so long?! My son's already stopped bleeding! And haven't I seen you two before?
*Secretary: Yep, we got fired. Whatever.
*(The secretary chews gum.)
*Woman: Ugh!
*(The woman and her son leave.)
*Secretary: Whatever. Uh, Mr. Dick, you're up.
*Mr. Dick: Thank you.
*Secretary: Whatever.
*(The secretary chews many packs of gum.)
*(Dr. Bumlips's previous patient walks out.)
*Patient: The hands, the hands! The cold hands. I'll never be the same again....
*Mr. Dick: Well I'm sure he's not that bad........
*(Mr. Dick enters. Dr. Bumlips is sawing a light with a chainsaw.)
*Nurse: Dr. Bumlips, what are you doing?!
*Dr. Bumlips: Trying to get this pesky light out of my eyes.
*(The light falls on the ground, broken.)
*Dr. Bumlips: Ah, that's better. Oh, hello, uh......
*Mr. Dick: Mr. Dick.
*Dr. Bumlips: Nice name! What do you think of mine?
*Nurse: Oh dear.........
*Mr. Dick: It's, uh, interesting to say the least.
*Dr. Bumlips Thank ya! Now, let's have a check up!
*Mr. Dick: Wait, I'm only here to-.
*Dr. Bumlips: Let me see your brain.
*(Dr. Bunlips tries to pull out Mr. Dick's brain through his nose.)
*(The Nurse facepalms.)
*Mr. Dick: What on Earth are you doing?!
*Dr. Bumlips: I just wanna see if your brain is healthy!
*Mr. Dick: It's quite fine, thank you!
*Dr. Bumlips: Good. Hm....... can't seem to find your tail here......
*Mr. Dick: That's because I'm not an animal!
*Dr. Bumlips: No need to worry, let me get my X-ray!
*(Dr. Bumlips gets an X-ray; he examines Mr. Dick's bones.)
*Dr. Bumlips: This is odd........
*Mr. Dick: What?
*Dr. Bumlips: You don't have many animal bones inside you.
*Mr. Dick: That's because I'm not one.
*(The Nurse facepalms.)
*Dr. Bumlips: Hm.........
*Mr. Dick: Excuse me, it's pretty hot in here.
*(Mr. Dick takes his coat off.)
*Dr. Bumlips: How did you do that?!
*Mr. Dick: I took it off.......
*Dr. Bumlips: Didn't that hurt to take off?
*Mr. Dick: No.........
*Dr. Bumlips: But you're an animal!
*Mr. Dick: No I am not! The only hair I have is on my back!
*Dr. Bumlips: Oh, really? Let me examine that........
*Nurse: Here we go........
*(An hour later.)
*Mr. Dick: Thanks, now I'm hairless!
*Dr. Bumlips: You started it by taking your coat off!
*Nurse: Yes, kids, this is a day in the life of Dr. Bumlips.
*Dr. Bumlips: Hm, you seem to be quite an old animal for your age to have kids....... let's neuter you!
*Nurse: Ooh, my favorite part.
*Mr. Dick: Uh oh........
*(Cut to the waiting room; sounds of hammers, saws, chainsaws, knives, and so on is heard in the doctor's office.)
*Daughter: Mommy, what's that sound?
*Woman #2: I have no idea, sweetheart.
*Secretary: Eh, it's his daily neutering. Whatever.
*(The secretary chugs a big bag of gum in her mouth.)
*Daughter: What's that word mean, mommy?
*Woman #2: You'll learn it when you're older when your husband ditches you and leaves you with a kid and decides to have no more kids and-. Uh, I mean, let's go get some pizza!
*(The mom and her child leave.)
*(Mr. Dick comes out.)
*Mr. Dick: There goes me being a dad.........
*(Mr. Dick leaves.)
*Dr. Bumlips: Ah, he's so happy now.
*Nurse: Mm-hm.
*(A sign appears saying "And now, the characters you actually want to see".)
*(An ambulance appears. Rack, NH, US and Rig are on stretchers, unconscious.)
*(Another sign appears saying "Well, we did say they'd appear", with the troll face under the words.)
*(The ambulance rushes inside the hospital with the four. They burst in Dr. Bumlips's office.)
*Nurse: Oh my! What happened to them?!
*Ambulance Man: Apparently, the cause is "Bad writing"?
*Nurse: That's new. Anyway, Bumlips, we must hurry!
*Dr. Bumlips: Not quite yet.
*Nurse: But it's an emergency!
*Dr. Bumlips: So's this! My window's closed!
*(The Nurse opens it.)
*Dr. Bumlips: Thanks! So what's the emergency?
*Nurse: I don't know, they just told me "Bad writing".
*Dr. Bumlips: Oh dear, this is serious! We must operate right away!
*(Later. Dr. Bumlips and his Nurse are in their room, letting the four rest.)
*Dr. Bumlips: (pointing at human body chart): So this is where the brain is, right? (points at groin)
*Nurse: No, the brain is here! (moves Bumlips's finger to the head)
*Dr. Bumlips: Ah. So, the chest is here? (points at foot)
*Nurse: No........ (moves Bumlips's finger to the correct area)
*Dr. Bumlips: Ah, and the teeth are here? (points at armpit)
*(The Nurse facepalms.)
*(A montage plays of Bumlips pointing at the incorrect body parts while the Nurse corrects him.)
*Nurse: (exhausted): Okay, I think we should get the surgery done.
*Dr. Bumlips: Good idea.
*(Cut to Dr. Bumlips and the Nurse doing the surgery.)
*Nurse: Shouldn't we wear sterile clothing?
*Dr. Bumlips: But we're too young to be neutered.
*(The Nurse looks at the audience, unamused.)
*Nurse: Never mind. Now let's start.
*Dr. Bumlips: First, let's clean the blo-.
*(The sponges fall inside their bodies.)
*Dr. Bumlips: Whoopsie! Let's try the needle-.
*(The needles also fall inside their bodies.)
*Dr. Bumlips: Third time's the charm-.
*(Scissors fall into their bodies.)
*Nurse: How about I handle the utensils?
*Dr. Bumlips: Okie dokie!
*(The Nurse carries the utensils but trips, and all the utensils fall in the four's bodies.)
*Nurse: Oh no!
*Dr. Bumlips: Well, at least we used them.
*Nurse: Are they good?
*(Dr. Bumlips sees the monitor saying "NOT GOOD".)
*Dr. Bumlips: They're perfectly fine!
*Nurse: Good! They're safe! Now let's stitch them up.
*Dr. Bumlips: Alright!
*(Dr. Bumlips stitches the four up with sponges.)
*Dr. Bumlips: It'll absorb the blood!
*Nurse: It's something....... now let's wait for them to wake up.
*(An hour later.)
*Rack: Huh, my sinuses are clear!
*NH: I want piggies and pizza! If I don't get them, I'll pootie!
*US: Where am I? Last I remember I was at a meeting and this metal thing hit my head........
*Rig: Idiotic chap you are, NH. You're lucky I'm around to take over the world!
*Dr. Bumlips: Success!
*Nurse: What a lame episode and running gags.
*Secretary: (noticeably fat): Whatever. (burps)
*Dr. Bumlips: Shush! We need that spin off!
*(The Nurse facepalms.)
*THE END.
==Credits==
===Starring===
*Rackliffelikespurple as Rack
*New Heathera as NH
*Utter solitude as US
*Rigbybestie1510 as Rig
*Dr. Bumlips as Dr. Bumlips
*Nurse as Nurse
*Secretary as Secretary
*Patients as Patients
*Ambulance Men as Ambulance Men
===Writing===
*Written by: Rackliffelikespurple, Utter solitude and New Heathera
===Thanks===
To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.
==Other==
Sorry if this wasn't too good. Let's just say writer's block is a monster. But, I liked this one. It's a neat episode, but I can't wait for next week's! It even has a user guest star in it! :D And I'm so excited for that I decided to give y'all a sneak peak!
==Promo For Next Episode==
*(An unknown person sees a turkey in the fridge.)
*???: Ah, perfect. Wolfie, give me the bird.
*NH: As much as I want to and love to I can't because I have these little people called censors following my every movement. Apparently, "it's a kids' show".
Well, hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! :D
Category:Episodes