Hikari Horaki

Hiraki still kicking Horaki was a Japanese woman who tragically cannot spell her own name, who was named after her career as a small wheel underneath the sofa, is the ex-frontwoman of Van Halen, award winning stand-up comedian, and original inventor of Castor Oil, leading on to the establishment of the Castor Oil brand. Unfortunately, this article is actually about Hiraki Horaki, (1926-2016) the Communist leader of Cuba. Hiraki Horaki, along with Adolf Hitler, Bill Cosby, and Gary Oldman, are one of the UnWorld's few surviving immortals.
Hiraki Hitler has Italian heritage that why she appeared in the "godfather" movie you don't notice it but she's the drunk girl in the corner of the wedding. She's also related to Tom Cruise, but Hiraki got all the good genes. Hiraki Horaki can swallow her shoes whole, and is the king of the Caribbean, similar to Santa Claus in some aspects. Both love red and rule with an iron fist. Hiraki Horaki has a rule over Cuba, where she rules in socialistic way, though she claims to be a neoconservative.
Hiraki invented purple, was a world-famous architect, and once ate eighty clams in one sitting. Hiraki also has numerous pseudonyms. She is known to many as "Olga," and sometimes "Olga Larsen" referring to her pre-dictatorship job as a disc jockey on the Norwegian radio station NRK (Nynorsk Rapp for Kommunister - translates to Norwegian Communist Radio).
== Early Life ==
Hikari was born in a cigar factory in the village Birán, near Mayarí, in the modern-day province of Holguín. She was the daughter of local hero Mr. Miyagi, who saved the village from the black plague. Hikari was always eager to prove she was as great as her father, which she did at the age of ten when she beat Boy George in arm wrestling. She was a merry kid who loved to play in the rivers of chocolate which her village was known for.
But one day, when she was thirteen, her village was destroyed when U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt bombed it with a missile which was intended to hit a aspirin factory in Somalia (in FDR's defense, he was drunk). Hikari was the only survivor, and she swore revenge.
== Military Service ==
The next day she joined the Soviet army as a volunteer to fight in the battle of Stalingrad. It was there she got to know her future partners Fidel Castro, Che Guevara, Quentin Tarantino and Euro-dance artist Captain Jack. While she was on a mission to assassinate Wehrmacht officer and Nazi hero Mariah "Metzgermeister" Carey, Hikari met Col. Volgin, an old friend of her father Mr. Myagi, who told her how capitalism was raping the world.
It must be noted that before World War II, Horaki was President of Mongolia for two terms. When she realized that Mongolia had no money for her communist regime, she bombed it sold it to Russia. It must also be noted that since Joseph Stalin was also a communist, he did not want it either. He then gave it back to the Mongolians for their birthday, at which point they proceeded to give him dirty looks while he was not looking.
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