2014.01.18 - War... Warwolves Never Changes

So there was this guy, he fell out of the sky and he was gorgeous. And he said he was an alien from another dimension, and he was gorgeous. He claimed that he has been to Earth before but he couldn't remember because his memories were wiped, and gorgeous. And so the Sensational She-Hulk was kind enough to take him in for a few days until he could remember who he was and why he was here, because he was gorgeous.
And that's why they were at the Manhattan Mall, so that he could look at the sights and sounds and maybe trigger some sort of memory of his previous times on Earth and maybe make it so he could remember something more than "My name is Longshot." Besides he was gorgeous so it wasn't like dragging him around town was that much of a chore.
Longshot looked at the various activities running around the Mall, and excitable about it would be a minor way to put it. He was practically frantic in the way he would look at things. He'd rush to the windows of the GNC and point to vitamins as if they actually mattered. Then over to Social Apparel to comment on the clothes. He practically backflipped into Gamestop and picked up and looked at every game there. Andddddd.... nope he doesn't remember anything specific, "Sorry Jenny, I guess I'm just sorta doomed not to remember when I was here last."
She-Hulk rubbed at the back of her long curly locks and pondered, "Maybe you've had some sort of blow to the head? But then you did appear out of a vortex so /anything/ is possible."
Shulkie herself was checking out a video game about Mama's and cooking. It didn't seem healthy. Today she was dressed in a tight-fitting Captain America t-shirt, purple jeans, and sneakers.
"No no, I was intentionally mind wiped. That much I'm totally sure of," Longshot said with a nothing seems to bother me chipper charm he had, "After it happens to you for about the dozen time you start to recognize the signs. Probably why I still remember my name is Longshot."
Longshot stopped a moment and said, "Is it Longshot? It seems like it's a Longshot. Yes, I am absolutely sure it is Longshot. That much is very obvious. Oh! What's this!"
Longshot squeezed past a couple of people and grabbed a videogame called "Midway Arcade Origins" flipping it over he looked at a particular game in the compilation disc called "Smash TV." Looking it over for a while his eyes focused really hard and goes, "That concept sounds... very familiar. But I can't quite put my finger on it."
As Longshot was distracted two rather average people walked up to She-Hulk and one said, "Hello... She-Hulk. You are a famous person. We would like your autograph if you would kindly?"
The other said, "Yes! Yes! Would you kindly stay here and sign your name to this piece of dead wood with a chemical compound that marks it? We would like that much, kindly."
Longshot rushed back over to She-Hulk and said, "Jenny! I didn't know you were famous why didn't you say so! That's just such an interesting fact that I missed!"
She-Hulk wasn't gonna lie, she had all sorts of fans so she didn't particularly judge. However they could learn to just say 'paper', how hard is that to say. However she still puts on her best smile and riffles a pen from one of her pockets, "Sure thing, guys. Who am I writing this out to?"
She rolled her eyes at Longshot, "Please. I get /some/ attention, not enough to get paparrazi...well...that one new years. And last."
The weird yet ordinary men both said, "Sign it to Lord Mojo," at the exact same time.
Longshot's brow furrowed when he heard those words as something was trying to make a connection. That sounded so very familiar and for some reason it just had to make a connection.
Just before She-Hulk could put pen to paper, Longshot shouted, "No!" and knocked the paper out of her hands, "It's a trick!"
His left eye started to glow in white light as he read the psychometric impressions from the paper.
The two weird yet ordinary men looked at each other and one said, "Well brother that is no good is it."
"No brother, not good at all. Now we can't take the She-Hulk for Lord Mojo, that's very bad."
"I agree, brother. What should we do?"
"I say we kill the traitor and then skin them both alive. We'll wear their skin and pretend to be them for Lord Mojo, he'll like that very much, yes."
She-Hulk quirked her brow so much she felt like it was going to fall off of her face. She stepped back from the two men and called out to the two gamestop employees, "Turn on the fire alarm, NOW. And be glad you only keep the game cases out here (mostly)!"
She sighed and held up a fist, "It's too bad, thought the most you two were going to was hawk it on ebay. Tisk tisk, no skinning."
Longshot came back to his senses a said, "There Warwolves! They work Mojo! The paper they handed you was a exclusive rights contract! I'm remembering a bit here. There's not actually human, they kill people and skin them! In reality they look like,"
Before Longshot could make his dramatic reveal of what the Warwolves were, they Warwolves did it themselves. Clawed silvered hands reached out and pulled open the mouth of the men from the inside and two lupine like creatures looking to be made of pure silver came out, stretching the mouth of the humans to unreal proportions as they did so. The human facades fell to the ground like discarded body suits made of flesh. As they exited they looked to the ceiling and let out a loud "ARRRROOOOOOOWWWWWW!"
Longshot reacted quickly, flipping over the confused patrons and hitting the fire alarm She-Hulk was mentioning, "Alright everyone. We are evacuating the Gamestop, please head out as quickly as possible and don't sign any papers the Warwolves may hand you. Trust me on this one! Being a TV star isn't what it's cracked up to be on Mojoworld."
As the people started to run Longshot added, "Jenny! There are six of them, they are calling for their brothers. Hope you're wearing comfy pants."
She-Hulk cracked her neck and sized up the new enemies, a wicked smirk spreading across her lips, "They are the ones who are about to get uncomfortable in a minute here."
She reached out to poke one in the metal chest, "Tag you're it."
She-Hulk then quickly turned heel and ran towards the exit, hoping Longshot and the WAR-wolves (really?) would follow them to somewhere outside slightly more appropriate for a fight. The annoyances of being a hero and a lawyer, property damage, especially commercial.
One of the Warwolves was about to go after She-Hulk when the other stopped him, "No brother. Our brothers will get her. We'll deal with the traitor and come home as heroes."
Longshot stood by the fire alarm he pulled for a moment and his eyes went wide, "Alright, so yes you could easily take me down just the two of you. So that means, yes everything is totally in your advantage and you have no reason at all to hear me out before you send me kicking and screaming back to Mojo, who I am starting to remember right now but not entirely. But hear me out for a second."
The two Warwolves started to approach Longshot, their avian like heads grinning and their claws retracting, "Um... well you could just kill me and take me back to Mojo as a trophy. Of course obviously. Why wouldn't you in fact, I'm sure he'll make an entire TV mini-series in your honor if you did. But... um...."
The two Warwolves continued to approach slowly, one licking his beak as he did. Longshot shouted out in a panic, "You haven't thought of one specific thing!"
The Warwolves paused and looked at each other and than back at Longshot, "And what is that, meat sack?"
"This!" Longshot leapt into the air, his left eye glowing like a star as he flipped over the Warwolves, pulling a colapsable grappling hook from a pouch, and throwing it to wrap around the two War wolves, pulling them together. Just as he was about to land he pulled one of his darts from the bandolier under his jacket and tied it to the metal filament rope that the grappling hook was attached to, "Please work!" he muttered as he through the dart perfectly into the slot of an electrical outlet. Electricity flowed through the metal filiment cord and into the bodies of the Warwolves.
Just outside the Gamestop, near the Lenscrafters and the Hallmark store would be when She-Hulk would realize that she wasn't being followed. But when she turned to head back to help Longshot she would see four more of the Warwolves coming up the escalators! "Look Brothers! It's the Hulk-She! GET HER!"
All four started to howl as they rushed towards She-Hulk on all fours, ready to pounce as soon as she moved.
"She-Hulk!" She called out and posed, looking like she too was ready for a fight. While she was sensational, she was only just a step after savage and was always unsure of when she would appear once more, especially in times of need like this. She couldn't help the rage when she heard the screams of nearby children as they ran out of the building. She held up a finger "Just a sec."
Shulkie riffled through her pockets and grabbed a ponytail, then threw her long curly hair back in one, "Okay now I'm ready. Bring it on!"
Surprisingly enough the Warwolves actually stop and wait for She-Hulk to get ready. It's so unfortunate for them that Mojo designed them to be the typical stereotyped, attack one at a time when the hero is ready set of mooks. Even Mojo was a slave to tropes and cliche it seemed.
But then the first one charged, silver claws shinning in the fluorescent light of the mall as it attacks her head on. The other three all stay behind and wait their turns like good little mooks.
She-Hulk never thought she'd be so greatful that someone was so dedicated to TV tropes. She slid into a kick, if he was going to aim high, she aimed low. If she knocked him off of balance from underneath, she would push him to fall over the ledge.
She glanced back at the Gamestop, hoping that Longshot so far was doing okay, she really regretted seperating at the moment.
She-Hulk's kick knocked the first Warwolf off the edge of the level and back down to the floor below. However following the tropes of action movie combat, if the first one is too easy to beat... you get two the second time.
Two of the Warwolves charge at She-Hulk's position, one jumping in the air, claws screaming through the wind intending to rend flesh and bone when they striker her upper torso, the other one comes low ready to bite on She-Hulk's legs and bring her to the ground so they can all feast on her like the wolves they are.
The Warwolf that aimed high tore at She-Hulk's shirt, enough for her to sigh and roll her eyes, "C'mon really? Jut got this dang thing. Thought Stevie would think this was cute."
To the one that went for her leg she kicked at it with the skill of a football place-kicker but with the strength of a Hulk.
So yeah that's one Warwolf on the first level, one smashing into the ceiling and another in shock that they couldn't hurt She-Hulk only strip her down to her unmentionable. What about that last one? What would he do?
"Brothers! This isn't working! We need to let our power combine."
The one that attacked her high suddenly began to run towards the one calling for his brothers and jumped at him... and absorbed right into him with a sound like a drop of water falling into a full glass times a hundred. As they began to merge the arms and legs of the beasts increased in size and where there was one head, there was now two.
Those two heads shouted out to no one in partinular, "Where's Duck and Goose? They should have taken care of the traitor by now and be helping us with this one! Mojo has high hopes for an action drama where she can end every episode hitchhiking as slow piano music plays!"
Dramatic shot as Longshot steps out of the Gamestop looking all action hero like and says, "There a little tied up right now, but they send their apologizes for not showing up."
Longshot looks over to She-Hulk and says, "Sorry I'm late by the way. Nice bra. Victoria Secrets?"
She-Hulk looked down to her bra and covered herself with an arm, "Why does this always happen to me, /always/? And I never get to expose these to the hot dudes in the fun way. And BE TE DUBS, that sounds like the stupidest ending to a show, /ever/!"
She turned towards the crazy two headed thing, her voice lowering, but increasing in intensity, "You're going down, down to Chinatown. Their prison, rather."
She smirked over her shoulder at Longshot, "Ever watch baseball?"
Longshot grins and says, "Not really. But I do know what a Fastball Special is! So catch!"
With grace and speed granted to him by his specialized genetics and the Luck Force he leapt over the growing size of the merged Warwolves and right towards the waiting She-Hulk. As he did he tucked himself into a ball, so that when the Warwolves reached up to grab him they'd only hit the air. He was ready for She-Hulk to catch him and through him right at the target.
The Warwolves, upon missing there target of Longshot let out another loud "Arrroooooooooo!" to get their other two brothers back on there feet and ready to help.
She-Hulk smirked, "Sad, that this is how I find out you have a nice tooshie. Such is life!"
With an extra turn she uses the momentum to launch Longshot at their assailants, with double the strength of any baseball pitcher, but can she match the speed and precision?"
As he flies forward, a lot faster than he actually thought he would he reaches under his jacket and pulls out a set of blades from his bandolier. He's not sure this will even work, and is really hoping that he doesn't just end up squished against their silver bodies!
And right when he's about to hit them! Energy similar to the energy of the vortex he dropped out of appears and they disappear. It's only Longshot's amazing skills in tumbling and acrobatics that allows him to land safely.
Where he lands is right in front of a six armed woman with Silver hair and a ridiculously over the top headdress who says, "Nice show for us today Longshot. But Mojo's not happy. You've got a lot more to do before he's going to start playing nice."
Then the six armed woman seems to dance around for a moment and disappears. Longshot's eyes squint and he says, "Spiral. Of course."
She-Hulk placed her hands onto her hips and looked about, "So..I feel like something completely dramatic just happened and I have no clue."
She glanced down at herself, "Yet I am shirtless."
She stepped into the victoria's secret clothing section and just yanked a "Pink!" t-shirt from the mannequin, "There. Want to fill me in?"
Longshot made a bit of an 'awww' noise when Jennifer put a new shirt on and said, "Long story short.... I only kind of remember some things. I remember that I'm from Mojoworld, so named after the spineless one that runs the place. The Warwolves are bounty hunters-slash-talent scouts for said Mojo. Spiral is Mojo's right hand girl who makes it so that his minions can arrive in other universes."
He looks at Jen again and said, "And if you hadn't been here, I probably would have been caught, tortured, mind-wiped and dropped somewhere else. I'm some sort of rebel or traitor or something. It's all rather confusing and the memories don't synch up quite right because he keeps sending me to different dimensions."
Wait alternate dimensions were really a thing? In another universe did she have a goatee? Or even worse, white hair? She shuttered at the thought.
She-Hulk stepped closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "That sounds like a lot of nastiness, are you ok?"
She gave him a soft smile, still sure he was probably crazy, or worse that she was crazy for helping him. But she had to, and how bad could Longshot be?
Longshot laughed, "No I'm fine. I'm kind of getting used to all of this. I swear that I have been dropped off on other dimensions with no memories at least" He counted on his hands for a moment and then held up both his hands and his eight fingers, "Eight times now."
He looked off into space a moment and says, "I wonder if there's a rewards card or something that I can get stamped."
There was in no way she had the right response to this, I mean who would? Unless you led a life like Longshot over here. Instead she rubbed at the back of her neck, and spotted the police officers gathering at the end of the mall, "Are you? They seem pretty used to you."
She looked down at him and wondered, how often has this happened to him? Could he be an actual twenty-something year old guy? Well, one thing was for sure, any guy she ever met tended to have some sort of issue.
Longshot smiled at Jennifer, "Look let's put it this way. I'm not in my twenties, not really. Not by human standards. But I am the archetypical twenty something action hero, mixed with a bit of awkward POV character and a bit of fanboy."
The police were showing up and he said, "Oh! Crap! And I'm also wanted to stealing some diamonds from the ConEd research lab and so I've got to go!"
He jumped to the bottom level and said, "I'll meet you back at the apartment, you sexy, sexy thing!"
She-Hulk rolled her eyes. She was fairly sure he didn't have a key to her apartment yet,she wasn't sure how long she was letting the stray cutie stay there. But since she was a registered superhero she filed the necessary paperwork and stated that someone unknown helped her, but focused on her own heroics in the report.
After all was said and done she headed back into the Gamestop, with the employees trying to get things set up and asked if she could get a black 3ds, with some gold detailing.
Category:Log