Flashbacks & Fuck-Ups

Flashbacks & Fuck-Ups is a Mr. Rrarrg! episode. In this episode, patrick tells the story of how he got cancelled in bikini bottom. 
===Characters:===
• Patrick
• Rrarrg
• Grugg
• Grr
• Delivery Guy (debut)
• FBI Agents (debut)
• Chemists (debut)
• Incidentals
• Fred
• News Guy (debut)
==Transcript==
(Patrick is looking outside the cave’s window, sighing)
Rrarrg: rrrarrrg? (What's wrong buddy?)
Patrick: Just remembering the old days when I wasn't run out of Bikini Bottom.
Babba: babababab (what got you run out of bikini bottom?)
Patrick: It's a long story.
(Grugg is eating a popcorn bag of crushed ice)
Patrick: Okay fine, I'll tell you, but only once.  it all started last year….
(flashback starts)
Present Patrick: I was in my star industries lab and i have just ordered 200 pounds of iodine but then…
(the delivery truck comes in)
Flashback patrick: oh that must be my iodine
Delivery guy: package for mr star, 200 pounds of cyanide
Flashback patrick: but i ordered iodine 
Delivery guy: no you ordered cyanide
Flashback patrick: oh whatever just put it over there or something
Present patrick: flash forward to a few days later…
(we see flashback patrick using the cyanide in place of iodine in his experiment)
Flashback Patrick: just a few-
(explosion)
Flashback Patrick: Nothing happened, nothing at all. Nope.
(Another chemist rushes into the room to see the explosion damage)
Chemist: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?
Flashback patrick: uh
Chemist: sound the alarm!
(An alarm goes off and everyone evacuates the building except for Patrick)
Flashback patrick: I should've just ordered again. That was the first thing I did. What happened next was way worse, trust me.
(transition to present day)
Rrarrg: rrarrg (wow)
Babba: babababbaba (tell us what happened next)
Grr: grgrgr! (yeah, tell us more!)
Patrick: Alright fine, but you won't like how it goes. So there I was in the bathroom sitting on the urinal whe-
Babba: (interrupting Patrick) babababaaabababba? (why were you sitting on a urinal?)
Patrick: I’ll tell you later. Anyway, I was sitting on the urinal when…
(second flashback starts)
(Groaning noises can be heard in the stall next to Patrick)
Patrick: (gasps) A zombie? Not in my bathroom!
(Patrick opens up the stall to see a sick person using the toilet)
Patrick: DIE ZOMBIE!
(Patrick uses a toilet paper roll to hit the “zombie”’s head in. Blood then starts pouring out as the person starts to die)
Patrick: Wait… WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Dying Person: You killed me, you fucking idiot. (dies)
Patrick: he died oh god oh fuck what do i do now
(Another guy walks into the bathroom to see blood on the floor)
Guy: Oh god… it’s happening again!
Patrick: Again?
Guy: You just killed someone right?
Patrick: Yeah- I mean nope.
Guy: That’s it, I’m quitting.
Patrick: Well at least he isn’t calling the police!
Guy: Oh, thanks for reminding me! (calls police)
Patrick: Shit, I shouldn't have said that.
(second transition to present day)
Patrick: By the way, I was planning on pooping in that urinal. It felt nice.
Rrarrg: rrrarrrg (You’re disgusting)
Patrick: i know, but that's not everything that i've been cancelled for
Grugg: grugrgurgurgrugrug (dammit i'm all out of ice)
Grr: grrrgrgrgr (forget the ice i wanna hear the rest of the story!)
Patrick: ok, so there i was in the lab again
Grugg: gruggrurgurgrgurg (i'm gonna go get some more ice)
Patrick: i was just finished with a new drink i called "pat juice"
(another flashback starts)
Patrick: now i just add a drop of locally sourced squid ink and… done. now i need some test subjects for the drink
Chemist: How about a public taste-testing?
Patrick: good idea
(transition to patrick at a stand that says "free samples")
Patrick: FREE SAMPLES! FREE SAMPLES OF THE NEW DRINK! COME AND GET IT BEFORE IT'S GONE! i'll go get some more cups of this stuff
(patrick leaves)
Present patrick: but then, a mysterious shadow came out of nowhere and poisoned my pat juice! what a dick.
Shadow guy: argargargarg
(shadow guy puts some cyanide into the drink)
Shadow guy: argargarg…
(shadow guy leaves as patrick comes back with a megaphone and more cups of pat juice)
Patrick: FREEEEEE SAMPLES!!!! COME AND GET IT BEFORE IT'S TOOOO LA- Wait, why do I have a bad feeling that something is about to happen? Oh well, I’m sure it’s nothing.
Some guy: Oh hey, is this free?
Patrick: Why yes sir!
Some guy: come on guys let's get some free samples!
Present patrick: Everyone around me had tried the concoction but then...
Guy: i don't feel so good… (dies)
Patrick: uh oh
(the 199 other people suddenly drop to the ground)
Patrick: uh…. gotta go
(patrick runs away)
(transition to present day)
Grugg: grugrugrurug (hey guys i'm back with some more ice)
Patrick: (ignoring Grugg) So, it was at this point that the FBI became involved in the situation.
(transition to another flashback)
(Patrick is making dinner in his rock house when he heard loud knocks on his rock)
Patrick: fuck off i'm busy
(The knocks happen again, louder this time)
Patrick: Will you go away- actually that might be the package I ordered. 
(He opens the rock to see two FBI agents looking at him)
Patrick: uh, may I help you?
FBI agent 1: Hello, are you Patrick Star?
Patrick: Well duh, I thought you were the FBI, you should know that.
FBI agent 2: this guy’s a smartass. We know it's you, we're just checking.
Patrick: Well what do you want? I'm very busy.
FBI agent 1: We’ve come to knock you out with chloroform so we can take you to the nearest interrogation room without any struggle.
Patrick: Oh yeah? Then why aren't you doing it?
FBI agent 2: I’m glad you asked! (forces a pad of chloroform into Patrick’s face, rendering him unconscious)
(transition to nearby interrogation room, still in flashback)
(Patrick wakes up)
Patrick: Okay, what do you guys want now?
FBI agent 2: Did you or did you not kill 200 people this Sunday afternoon?
Patrick: Well that's a bit on the nose, even though I don't have one. 
FBI agent 1:  DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT! Now, did you kill those people?
Patrick: Which people exactly?
(FBI agent 2 pulls out a list of people, and lays it on the table. Patrick’s eyes widen as he realize he's been caught)
FBI agent 1: I thought so.
Patrick: Before the inevitable happens, can I use the bathroom?
FBI agent 1: Fine, but make it quick.
(Patrick exits the interrogation room and jumps out an unlocked window)
FBI agent 2: Damn it, you let him get away!
FBI agent 1: Don’t blame me, you were the one who was supposed to lock the window!
FBI agent 2: Well I would've done it if your wife wasn't so fat!
FBI agent 1: Why I oughta-
(Cut to Patrick now on the run in the streets of Bikini Bottom)
Woman: Hey, that's the guy who killed my husband! Get him!
(People nearby start chasing Patrick with pitchforks)
Patrick: Well this isn't the first time an angry mob has chased me down.
Fred: He killed MY BROTHER!
Patrick: Shut up Fred.
(Patrick hides behind a dumpster and loses the mob, thinking he's somewhere else)
Patrick: Thank Neptune, finally. 
(The mob returns and goes to the dumpster to throw their pitchforks away only to spot Patrick)
Patrick: Crap.
(Patrick runs away and escapes Bikini Bottom)
Patrick: Well this stinks. I don't think I know anyone around here.
(cut to Patrick furnishing the cave a day later when he sees the Mayor of Bikini Bottom speaking on TV)
Mayor: From here on, star industries is BANNED from bikini bottom for using illegal chemicals for experiments and causing 200 deaths per week.
The townspeople: *cheering*
Patrick: (turns the tv off) Welp, there goes my chances of coming back.
(Cut back to the present)
Patrick: And that's the story of how I got run out of Bikini Bottom. I don't like it, but it's how it is.
Rrarrg: rrarrrg (Whoa, you killed people? That's rad!)
Grugg: grururugug (don't you mean bad?)
Rrarrg: rrarrgg (same difference)
Grr: grrgrgr (so you're stuck here forever?)
Patrick: As long as everyone knows who I am. At least I got you guys.
Babba: bbaaabbbaaba (So what do we do now?)
(suddenly, our heroes hear something on the tv)
News guy: Breaking News! The Mayor of Bikini Bottom has just died of lung cancer! We'll be looking for candidates this weekend so do not panic if you hear a knock on your door or see a black van near your house.
Patrick: Hang on, if one of us wins the election, we can unban star industries and I can get back to Bikini Bottom!
Rrarrg: rrarrarrgarrg (That's a great plan, i'll be ready to become mayor tomorrow!)
Babba: babababbababab (Who said you were going to be a candidate? Maybe I'll be a candidate!)
Grr: grrrgrgrgrgrgrggrrgrgr (You won't be the candidate! I'll be the candidate!)
(they argue about it)
Grugg: grugurgugrgg (I’ll go get some more ice)
(fade to black)
(to be continued…)
(the credits play and the episode ends)
==Trivia==
• This episode is the longest episode of mr rrarrg so far
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