The Earl of Bird's Reluctant Bride

And a new novel is out by self-published romance maven and online best-seller D'Ancey LaGuarde, in this dimension [Alison makes air-horn noises]. The Earl of Bird's Reluctant Bride, a historical romance thriller mystery detective novel, with a supernatural twist.
Minton is the grief-stricken Earl, a third son never intended to attain the title, haunted by the ghost of his dead brothers who were murdered by a mad debutante [Alice breaks down laughing, Alison laughs], and trying desperately to balance his self-made career as a crime investigator with the new and throbbing needs of the massive Bird estate and the social pressures of the marriage mart. Verity is an innocent young lady, scarcely skirting scandal with her damnably egalitarian taste for helping fallen women, trying to make her way in the brutal ballrooms of London.
Fate brings them together over the body of a police officer who was investigating some thefts in a brothel, 'cause why's it always gotta be a sex-worker body that's the MacGuffin for these bloody stories, am I right? [Alison laughs and cheers "Yes!", Josh laughs] Despite the presence of a dead body and some recent heavy trauma, their sudden connection makes itself felt in a passionate kiss and some tasteful over-corset nipple stimulation [Alice laughs] [Alison shouts "What! How does that even work?!"] 
In the very lobby of the morgue where their shockingly unchaperoned state of flagrante is discovered mid-autopsy, by Duchess Bloggerton, society's biggest gossip, who is passing through the morgue for reasons the plot has no interest in [Alison and Josh laugh].
Will Minton be able to overcome his fear of innocent young women, and cope with having one as a wife, will Verity be able to reconcile her need for independence with her need to help Minton solve the terrible string of police murders by the mysterious mad-woman the newspapers are calling "Horrible Lady Murderer" [Alice, Alison, and Josh laugh]. Will their flaming passion distract them at the most inconvenient moments, like "on a boat", "during a ball", "while trapped in the darkness in an underground labrynth during a chase scene"? Yes. But find out how, in The Earl of Bird's Reluctant Bride. Available now, everywhere bad books are sold.