Backup Plans

Backup Plans is the ninth episode of Red vs. Blue: Revelation and the 162nd episode overall. The episode aired on June 7, 2010.
==Plot==
At Sandtrap, Washington and the Meta attack Doc to shatter the wall behind him. Doc is now free and assists by asking the Aliens to draw them a map to where Epsilon went. But instead, they draw a human stick figure with the captions "HUMENS SUK" and "SHISNO". Wash then gets irritated and attacks the aliens with the Meta. Meanwhile Sarge, Simmons and Grif have entered the facility after Grif failed because he called himself "Agent Pluto" but Sarge used his shotgun on the F.I.L.S.S. interface and then he threatens Grif. The Reds now find Caboose guarding a door and asking F.I.L.S.S. to keep the door shut while you can hear smashing and Epsilon-Church talking. After Caboose tries to not let the Reds through the door starts getting pounded and he walks away. Then as the Reds are standing there the door gets trashed and blasted open by Tex (with no weapons) and she then flexes her apparently robotic neck and says "Okay, so who's first?".
==Characters==
===Red Team===
*Sarge
*Grif
*Simmons
===Blue Team===
*Caboose
*Epsilon-Church (Voice only)
*Tex
===Others===
*Washington
*The Meta
*Doc
*Smith
*Aliens
*F.I.L.S.S.
==Transcript==
Fade in to Wash and the Meta getting ready 	Fade in to Wash and the Meta getting ready
Washington: 	Alright Meta, get ready.
I could swear I just said that 	I could swear I just said that
Washington: 	Fire!
Wash tosses a grenade, and the Meta fires one 	Wash tosses a grenade, and the Meta fires one
Washington: 	Huh, well that actually seemed to work.
Hey, Doc's free 	Hey, Doc's free
Doc: 	...Ow!
Washington: 	Doc, how do you feel?
Doc: 	Uh okay I guess, all things considered- hey does anybody know where we can find a good medic?
Washington: 	I don't get paid enough for this.
Wash wanders off, and the Meta slowly follows 	Wash wanders off, and the Meta slowly follows
Doc: 	Geeze, tough room.
Cut to the Reds just inside the facility 	Cut to the Reds just inside the facility
Grif: 	I told you that stupid plan wouldn't work.
Simmons: 	That's because you said your name was Agent Pluto!
Sarge: 	Heh, luckily we had the old contingency plan to fall back on.
Grif: 	Sarge-hhh, shotgun in the face is not a contingency plan. I keep telling you that.
Cut to a face-shotgunned FILSS outside the base on the tree 	Cut to a face-shotgunned FILSS outside the base on the tree
FILSS: 	Hhhhhhllo, this is a private facility. Hello, this is a private facility.
Back to the "action" 	Back to the "action"
Sarge: 	Don't be so quick to judge, Grif. Shotgun in the face can be applied in a variety of tough situations. For instance, watch how quickly it cures insubordination.
Caboose: 	Oh no!
Crash, tinkle 	Crash, tinkle
Simmons: 	What was that?
Sarge: 	It came from down here. Come on.
Cut to one of the aliens drawing something in the sand for Wash 	Cut to one of the aliens drawing something in the sand for Wash
Washington: 	I don't like this.
Doc: 	Look, I talked to them. They're gonna draw us a map and show us where Epsilon went. After that you can let me go.
Washington: 	You sure that's what he's doing?
Doc: 	Well, my Alien to English is a little rusty. I would suggest we get one of those translator balls, but we got enough jerks around here already.
Meta: 	(something)
Washington: 	I agree. We should just kill most of them, the last one left alive will talk.
Doc: 	Wash, you just can't kill everybody you meet.
Washington: 	Why not?
Doc: 	Uh... well now you're putting me on the spot, I don't really have an answer for that, just seems like a bad idea though. Karma?
Alien: 	Rarh. Blarggh.
Doc: 	Hey, he's done drawing the map.
Alien: 	Rr-rarrar, hunrarrar unhunrarrarrar.
Doc: 	What does it say? What does it say?
Editor's note: it says Humens Suk, with a stick man with the word shisno pointing at it 	Editor's note: it says Humens Suk, with a stick man with the word shisno pointing at it
Washington: 	It says peace talks have broken down. Now we do it our way.
Battle! But we cut back to Caboose outside the door while Church is dicking around inside 	Battle! But we cut back to Caboose outside the door while Church is dicking around inside
Church: 	Just hold still. No don't go-
Crash, tinkle 	Crash, tinkle
FILSS: 	I sense things are not going well.
Caboose: 	Yes please just keep the door shut, thank you that's fine.
FILSS: 	I am sorry, but if the Director requests the door to be opened, I am required to comply.
Caboose: 	Just keep the door shut.
Grif: 	Caboose, is that you?
Church: 	Stop! Don't move, don't move, don't-
Crash, tinkle 	Crash, tinkle
Church: 	Hrhhh.
Caboose: 	Oh! Oh hello everyone!
Church: 	Stop!
Caboose: 	Yes. Everyone who wasn't here before is now here now. Hello.
Sarge: 	What're you up to, Blue.
Caboose: 	Me? Oh nothing. I'm not hiding anything behind this door.
Church: 	Uh, I wouldn't pick that up it looks expensive-
Crash, tinkle 	Crash, tinkle
Simmons: 	Euh, I think he's lying.
Grif: 	What was your first clue?
Sarge: 	Let us see what's in there.
Caboose: 	In here? Oh. Nothing is in here. Um, well this probably isn't even a door, either. It's, probably-
The door shakes with a bang 	The door shakes with a bang
Sarge: 	What the heck was that?
Caboose: 	Oh that was me. Uh, I said this isn't a door, I said it's a gong.
Grif: 	A gong, what the hell is a-
Another bang dents the door outwards 	Another bang dents the door outwards
Caboose: 	A gong.
Part of the lock gets pushed out from the inside 	Part of the lock gets pushed out from the inside
Caboose: 	I'm just going to walk over this way, now, excuse me. Yes, thank you. Pardon me, coming through.
Caboose walks right past the Reds and continues walking through the base as the door continues to thump	Caboose walks right past the Reds and continues walking through the base as the door continues to thump
Caboose: 	Yes excuse me, yes pardon me. Excuse me, yes thank you. Pardon me, coming through. Yes excuse me, yes pardon me.
Now that he's gone... the door continues being bent out from behind and shaking 	Now that he's gone... the door continues being bent out from behind and shaking
Grif: 	Um, Sarge, what's the plan here?
Sarge: 	Men, we have a perfect ambush scenario.
Simmons: 	I agree. Unless wait, are we the ambushers or, the ambushees. Hey, can you ambush something that's trying to beat its way through metal plating to get to you?
Sarge: 	Okay, first, we just wait for the door to open-
The door is slowly crumbled, and then shoots off the hinges over top of them 	The door is slowly crumbled, and then shoots off the hinges over top of them
Grif: 	Door's open.
Sarge: 	What the- hh?
Tex: 	Okay. So who's first?
Category:Episodes
Category:Revelation