A Fish Called Selma

"A Fish Called Selma" is the nineteenth episode of Season 7.
==Synopsis==
When Troy McClure is sentenced to renew his driver's license after getting pulled over for erratic driving, he meets Selma (who is still looking for a man so she can have a family and not die alone) and decides to marry her to revive his moribund movie career, which fizzled out due to bad project choices, his alcoholism, and the possibly very true rumor that Troy is sexually attracted to fish and once committed an unspeakable act at the Springfield Aquarium. Selma is okay with being Troy's sham wife, but things get complicated when Troy's agent wants Troy to have sex with Selma so she can have a baby.
== Full Story ==
The Simpsons are watching a Muppet film on TV and Bart says one of the Muppets is leather but is actually Troy McClure. Marge points out he was a real heartthrob in the 70’s and Homer reminds her that is until the rumors about him and an aquarium scandal. Marge begs to differ stating that Troy is actually a true gentleman. Meanwhile the washed-up actor gets pulled over for erratic driving, due to the fact that he is driving without his corrective lenses. After seeing Troy in his glasses, Chief Wiggum tells Troy to get his license changed so that he won’t be required to wear glasses anymore (he still asks for a bribe). When Troy goes to the DMV to pass the eye exam, he can't seem to read all the letters, explaining to Selma that he depends on his looks so he offers to take Selma Bouvier to dinner if she will let him pass the eye test she doesn't hesitate.
After dinner at the Pimento Grove, photographers notice Troy leaving with a human woman (rumors about a romantic abnormality initially destroyed Troy's career). The pictures appear in the news the next day which Homer and his work mates see, Homer is not that convinced while Carl and Lenny point out that those Aquarium rumors may not be true after all, later that same day Troy's agent calls and says that he can get work again if he continues seeing human women (Selma). Troy continues dating Selma to help his career, even when she gets kicked out for smoking in a restaurant, Troy joins her in the parking lot with a cigar. On his agent's advice, Troy asks Selma to marry him, while Marge is thrilled, Patty doesn't really approve of them. Troy gets a part in 'Planet of the Apes' the musical which is very successful. Eventually Selma moves in with Troy (although they don't sleep together) and Homer, Marge and the kids come over for a pool party.
 The night before the wedding, a drunk Troy tells a drunk Homer the reason for his marriage and Homer goes wide-eyed. At the wedding, when Reverend Lovejoy asks anyone who opposes the marriage to speak up, Homer makes gibberish noises in his head to distract himself from saying the truth. After the wedding, Homer tells Marge offhand that Troy doesn't really love Selma and is just trying to aid his own career. Marge and Patty try to explain Selma, who accuses them of coming down with "the green-eyed gazungas." Eventually Marge tells Selma that Troy doesn't love her, he's only using her to help advance his career. Selma doesn't believe them and goes back home where she confronts Troy who eagerly admits that their marriage is a sham to help his career. Troy explains to Selma that even though their marriage is a sham, she has benefited and Selma initially accepts the situation. Troy's agent thinks he can get Troy the part of McBain's sidekick in the next McBain movie, McBain IV: Fatal Discharge, if he sires children as all the good roles are going to celebrity parents. 
Troy and Selma prepare to conceive a child, but Troy is uncomfortable sleeping with women because of his "bizarre fish fetish"; rumors of his unconventional sexuality once squelched his career and prevented his comeback he ends up saying that a baby is so much work. Selma tells Troy that a baby isn't supposed to be work but rather is supposed to express how much a couple loves each other. Selma decides that while a loveless marriage isn't hurtful to anyone, bringing a child into a loveless marriage is wrong and leaves Troy. A tabloid TV show confirms that Troy has turned down the role of McBain's sidekick to direct and star in his own film, The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel, produced by 20th Century Fox., but since most parts go to actors with families it may not do well.
fr:Un poisson nommé Selma
pl:A Fish Called Selma
pt:Um peixe chamado Selma
Category:Patty and Selma Episodes
Category:Episodes named after a character
Category:Movies and films themed-episodes
Category:Romance-themed Episodes
Category:Episodes featuring guest stars
Category:Troy McClure episodes
Category:Episodes in which a Character Gets Married
Category:Homer episodes
Category:Episodes named after Selma Bouvier
Category:Directed by Mark Kirkland
Category:Written by one-time writers