Baseball, Walkers and Wine/Transcript

This is the transcript for Baseball, Walkers and Wine, which aired on November 4, 2021.
==Transcript==
1 Hey.
I have fresh-baked cookies for everyone.
Not for me.
I'm slimming down for bikini season.
It's October.
I like to get a running start.
Cookie? Down, boy.
What? Sorry, is it my turn? You know, you're not fooling anybody.
Every time she walks in the room, you get the same stupid look on your face.
I do not.
Why don't you just ask her out? It's complicated.
Our friendship is-is every bit important to me Wimp.
You know, it's hateful when my daughter calls me that.
I won't take it from you.
Is that so? Bluff called.
Cookie? Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
Oh, for God's sakes, she's not your sweetheart.
Her name is Gina.
You don't mind if I call you sweetheart, do you, honey? Well, it's not my favorite You're patronizing her.
She's just too nice to stand up for herself.
Well, actually, I can take care of "Sweetheart" is a compliment that men pay to women when they like them.
It might be new to you.
Oh, so when I call you "jackass," that can be a compliment, too.
You know what's wrong with broads like you? No, but I know what's wrong with misogynistic Neanderthals who believe that a woman's self-worth is tied to what men think of her.
That's a great ass.
- The more you give - The more you give - The more you live - The more you live Your happiness is relative And if you're feeling like crap It's time to face the fact It's your prerogative Your prerogative To be positive Hey.
Morning.
Got you coffee.
Thanks.
It's a little creepy, you watching me sleep.
What are you talking about? I was reading the CNN on the phone.
Yeah, what's going on? Oh, everything's bad.
The whole world is You know, you could go eat breakfast with the others.
You don't have to be here all the time.
I know, but then I'd have to talk to them.
Oh, Harry, what happened to you? I'm fine.
It's Other people, they're the worst.
Good morning.
Welcome to Wednesday.
Hump Day.
Need I say more? Um, I got your new meds.
You're supposed to take one tablet three times a day with meals.
- Thank you.
- That's right, I'll put a reminder on my phone here.
- I won't forget.
- Uh, the phone is better at remembering.
Would you go to the dining room and get me a muffin? I'll get you some fruit.
I don't want fruit.
You're getting fruit.
You hear him? He's worried about how much sugar I eat.
You two are so cute.
Yeah, we're BeyoncÃ© and what's-his-name.
Listen, I need a favor.
Oh, anything.
Ever since I got sick, Harry's whole world has been about taking care of me.
Well, he loves you.
And I love him.
Please get him out of here.
Okay, um Ugh, any suggestions? I don't know, he likes going to the minor league baseball games.
Maybe you can find somebody to take him? Maybe.
Is there a dating app for cranky old men? Whatever you got to do.
I need a break.
- I'm on it.
- Thanks.
Oh, um It's Jay-Z.
- What is? - BeyoncÃ©'s husband.
That's right.
I like him.
He looks like he can deliver the mail.
Yes, I would expect he can.
I'll take care of it.
Hey, Althea, have you seen Gabby or Gideon? They're outside smoking pot.
Man.
It is 9:00 a.
m.
It's called "wake and bake.
" - I know what it's called.
- Of course you do.
Until a few weeks ago, you reeked of Febreze and Doritos.
Yeah, well, I am management now.
And we're all rooting for you.
Hey, kidney buddy.
Okay, you can't tell me not to say it and then you say it.
I saved your life.
I can say whatever I want.
Fair enough.
Hey, I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner to celebrate you buying Valley Hills? Yeah, I'd love that.
Saturday? Yeah, that'd be great.
Oh, hey, while I have you, can I ask you a favor? Your wish is my command, milady.
Dost thou need help moving a cumbersome sofa? I need you to take Harry to a baseball game.
A baseball game? That's gonna be outside, right? Please.
You'll be saving a marriage.
I guess.
It's just the mosquitos, they love me.
My mother used to say it was because I was so sweet.
- So you'll do it? - Sure.
And we're on for our date? I-I mean, it's not a date date.
It's a friendly dinner date.
I have a baseball date with Harry.
Which one's gonna be crazier? Let's find out.
Bye, Drew.
Thank you for ending this conversation.
Really? Just exhale.
You I expect this from, but you? I'm sorry.
I'm going through some stuff.
We're all going through some stuff, but that doesn't Xander left me for his spin instructor, and I just needed something to take the edge off.
And this shizzle is working.
W-Why would you expect it from me? I used to get high with you every day.
That's fair.
Gideon, I am sorry about Xander.
He was a beautiful man, but we all know that pastry chefs can be fickle.
Moving forward, I need you both to leave your personal problems at home, okay? It will not happen again.
Yeah, sure.
Oh, no.
It's Norma's alert.
Do you know Xander didn't even want to take that spin class? I made him.
Oh, my God, are you okay? Do I look okay? Don't move.
I'll call the EMTs.
No, no, I don't need them.
Just help me up.
Okay, nice and slow.
Did you hit your head? No, just mostly landed on my ass.
Nature's airbag.
You're free to leave.
Norma, I know you don't want to hear this, but if you are not gonna get the hip surgery, then you have to use the walker.
Those things are for old people.
Who wants to tell her? Have you had breakfast? - Not yet.
- All right, you guys go get her something to eat.
I'll stay here.
Girl, we got to stop getting high on the job.
Why? Norma, I'm on your side.
I just want you to be safe.
I know you do, sweetheart.
Thank you.
So you'll use your walker? No.
Why does it smell like a reggae concert in here? New wig? Thank you for noticing.
Matches the carpet, if you know what I mean.
How's the chicken? Under-seasoned, overcooked.
I was gonna get that, but I got salmon instead.
- And? - I'm filled with regret.
Would you like some chicken? You just said it was no good.
It isn't.
Would you like some? I'll take a bite.
Hey, Bette, glad I got you.
Hold on.
Go ahead.
Yeah, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday.
Oh.
Well, thank you, Spencer.
Yeah.
I'm sorry you got so upset.
Wait, you're sorry I got upset, you're not sorry you were a jerk? Here we go.
Now I got to apologize for the way I apologized? You didn't actually apologize.
- Did he just apologize? - He did not.
- Who asked you? - She did.
And she couldn't have been more clear.
I said I was sorry.
For me being upset.
You're making it all my fault.
This is a load of crap.
I said I'm sorry.
What more do you want me to say? Actually, I'd prefer it if you took a vow of silence.
It's really a top-notch ass.
"The Hartford Yard Goats.
" - Yeah.
- Not a very imposing name.
"Watch out for us, we'll eat your trash.
" You done? I also noticed that, for a Double-A team, they're not using any batteries.
I am done.
This may be the one and a half light beers talking, but I am enjoying myself.
The sun, the smell of the grass, the guy shouting, "Popcorn, get your popcorn here.
" Two popcorn.
Oh, no, sorry, I'm just doing a funny impression.
Don't have popcorn.
Oof.
Embarrassing.
Although, a testament to my improvisational skills.
Just watch the game.
- Yes, sir.
- Strike two! The fellow at third base, speaking sign language, who is he talking to? The batter.
Is he deaf? Yeah.
- Wow.
- UMPIRE: Ball three.
What a human interest story.
That should be a movie.
Or better yet, a podcast.
Was your dad a traveling salesman, away from home a lot? No.
Why? You seem like a kid who spent a lot of time with his mother.
She was my best friend.
We got a full count.
So when are you gonna work up the balls to ask Gina out? I'm happy to answer your question, but know that I hear the condescension in your choice of words.
Congratulations.
So, when? As a matter of fact, I'm taking her to dinner this weekend.
- Really? - Yes.
You don't give me enough credit, but I do have game.
Well, that's-that's good to hear.
And not that it's any of your business, but it is my intention to let her know how I feel about her, to put my baseballcards on the table.
There you go.
Whoa.
That was close.
You have no idea.
Here.
- Go ahead.
- Really? Yeah.
Do you fellas need this back? Yeah, that's right, Mindy.
I'm on a walker.
Keep moving.
It's open.
Hey.
What's up? Well, I'm going to the dining room for coffee and cake.
I should be there in about three hours.
Would you like to join me? Sure.
Hang on.
Take your time.
No rush.
Man, this could have killed me.
Maybe it did and we're in hell.
Who you calling? Meredith.
Just reminding her to take her pills.
It's voice mail.
Meredith, i-it's me.
Please, take your pills.
Don't forget, okay? Um, and, uh, call me back when you get this.
Peanuts! Get your peanuts here! Mm, peanuts.
Did you know that just one could cause me uncontrolled vomiting, diarrhea and death? Yeah, well, you're a delicate flower.
That is exactly what my mother used to call me.
She's not answering my texts, either.
- Let's go.
- What? Why? Something's wrong.
We-we got to leave.
Okay.
Sorry.
Pardon me.
Look, I got a ball.
I'm sure she's fine.
No, she always answers the phone.
Where the hell is she? Meredith? Come on.
Mer Son of a bitch.
Oh, this is so good.
That's because they don't make it here.
Harry gives me such a hard time about my diet.
And I'm like, "Hey, who cares? I've got cancer.
" What's the prognosis? Stage IV.
How many stages are there? Four.
I'm sorry.
Well You're not doing too well, either, huh? Oh, this is nothing.
They can fix it.
So why don't you? I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself.
Been there.
Thank God.
Why the hell didn't you pick up your phone? Fine.
How are you? I was calling, I was texting, you didn't answer.
I left my phone in the room.
But you can't do that.
I have to know where you are.
Relax.
I took my meds, everything's fine.
Come on, let's get you back to bed.
Come on.
I'm having cake with my friend.
- Hello.
- Hello, hello.
Um, so, you're feeling okay? Yes, I'm having a good day.
You can stop hovering.
I'm not hovering.
I'm concerned.
You're like a helicopter.
A very old helicopter.
Well, excuse me for giving a damn.
You, have something you want to say? Oh, I I caught a baseball.
All right, everybody, buckle up.
I'm not real good at this.
Hot date? Who's the unlucky woman? They're for my wife's grave.
Oh, I'm sorry.
How did I not know you'd been married? Maybe because your life's the only one you pay attention to.
Maybe.
When did she pass? She's been gone five years now.
So, uh, birthday, your anniversary? Neither.
Jackie and I Jackie was my wife We always liked to watch the sunset together.
Every so often I still try.
That's very sweet.
She was a helluva broad.
Took care of me a long time when I was hurt.
What happened? I was a transit cop in New York.
Broke my back on the job.
Oh, my God, that's awful.
Wasn't great.
A lot of rehab.
Had to learn to walk again.
But could've been worse.
A bunch of my friends didn't make it home at all that day.
"That day"? You mean? South Tower.
Jackie put up with me through it all.
Believe it or not, I can be high maintenance.
I'm sorry, I I got an American hero bringing flowers to his dead wife so they can watch the sunset together.
I'm gonna have to pull over.
Ooh.
This is a nice change of pace.
Glad you like it.
Mm, it's pretty.
Very romantic.
Is it? I didn't even notice.
Well, as long as we don't talk about Medicare Part D, or why your grandkids can't pick a damn gender, I'm loving it.
Well, uh Oh.
There is something I would like to talk about.
Shoot.
Okay.
No risk it, no biscuit.
Gina, I can't even begin to say how much you've changed my life.
I am a different person, a better person because of you.
Oh, Drew.
I feel the same way.
You bring out the best in me.
That's great to hear.
Because there's something I've been wanting to tell you ever since I woke up from the surgery You have got to be kidding me.
I am, I'm totally kidding.
It's Eli.
You've got to be kidding me.
You know what? You know what? We're broken up.
He's allowed to have dinner with a supermodel, or some kind of sex robot.
Let's just order.
They don't even see us.
Oh, here they come.
Hi.
- Hey.
- Hey, there.
Hey, didn't expect to see you guys here.
Small world, huh? Maybe for you two.
You're both giants.
Uh, Drew Dunbar.
Nice to meet you.
Camille.
Hi.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Um, Camille, this is Gina.
She and I, um This is Gina.
I'm Gina.
Uh, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too! Okay, well, you guys enjoy your dinner.
Good to see you both.
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you! Are you okay? I will be.
Oh, oh, that's more of a sipping wine, but all right.
Now let's get some alcohol in this bitch! - Okay.
- Alexa, turn lights on! I don't know why I said that.
I don't have an Alexa.
Let's get you on the couch.
Oh, it's such a good couch.
It's long.
Like Eli's girlfriend.
There you go.
I'm, uh, sorry about that whole thing.
It's okay.
You know, I just I thought that he'd call and we'd work it out and But I guess I'm just, um I guess I'm just the type of girl that you date until you find somebody better.
Oh, come on.
There's nobody better than you.
Just longer.
Sure.
I just wish that, you know, I could find a guy who who gets me.
Accepts me for me.
You'll find that guy.
Will I? Absolutely.
And he'll appreciate how amazing you are, and how much happiness you bring to other people.
- Drew? - Yeah? I think I found that guy.
This is a bad idea.
- Why? - Because you've had a lot to drink.
I disagree to agree.
I have had exactly the right amount.
Water.
Hang on.
I keep tasting shrimp.
- Did I have shrimp? - No.
Oh, that's not good.
Look, uh, I've been wanting to say something for a while now, but I'm not sure if it's the right time.
This is the right time.
Okay.
Well, you're wonderful.
You're more than wonderful, really.
And I've been wanting to say this for weeks, but every time I try, I lose the nerve.
The truth is I love you, Gina.
Gina? You still there? Perfect.
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