Sicko

Sicko is the second episode of "The Mr. Rabs Spin-Off". In this episode, Patrick visits the doctor, and finds out that he has an STD, much to Squidward's shock. Meanwhile, SpongeBob seeks therapy after his bitter divorce.
==Transcript==
*[The episode begins with SpongeBob at his house, waking up]
*SpongeBob: [Yawn] Oh, what day is it?
*[Glances at the calendar.]
*[Gun Ricochet Sound Effect]
*SpongeBob: Ga-ary!
*Gary: Meow?
*SpongeBob: Guess what day it is today!
*Gary: Meow.
*SpongeBob: No, silly! It's-
*[Audio Mutes]
*SpongeBob: The day I go to therapy!
*[Cut to shot of the front of SpongeBob's house]
*SpongeBob: Goodbye, Gary!
*[He closes the door]
*[Transition to Patrick's House]
*Patrick: [Wakes up] Oh, what day is it?
*[Glances at the calendar]
*Patrick: Oh shit. Check-Up day.
*[He stares in silence, at the calendar.]
*Patrick: And now, Mr. Conway Twitty!
*[Audience cheers. Transition to Conway Twitty]
*Conway Twitty: You know, Airline food! What's up with that stuff!
*[Patrick stops the tape, and appears in front of the footage]
*Patrick: Not that Conway Twitty! Nevermind. I have to prepare for my Check-up.
*[Cut to a Montage of Patrick preparing. He first, uses a glove to smack himself in the face, until a tooth falls out.]
*Patrick: Check!
*[Transition to later. He uses a can of "Mike's Premium Mayonnaise as Lube.]
*Patrick: Check!
*[Transition to later.]
*Patrick: The final step.
*[Cut to a shot of a SpongeBob Pillow]
*Patrick: [Removes his pants] What must be done, must be done.
*[Pause.]
*Patrick: SPONGEBOB! I'M SORRY I MADE LOVE TO SQUIDWARD! PLEASE ACCEPT ME BACK! PLEASE!
*[Transition to SpongeBob. He is at The Hospital]
*SpongeBob: I'm here for my therapy session.
*Person in Desk #1: Alright! You're scheduled for 17 minutes from now!
*SpongeBob: Thanks! You know, how come this place is also a Dentist?
*Person in Desk #1: This is a Multiple-Hospital/Dentist or Orthodontist place.
*SpongeBob: I see. I'll be out in the waiting room.
*[He walks away.]
*[Suddenly, Mike appears out of thin air]
*Mike: You know, those Time Gods told me altering time was a bad idea, but, why not? What's the worst that could happen?
*[He walks away, and presses a Red Button labeled "The Reference-inator, then disappears]
*[Suddenly, Mr. Rabs walks in]
*Mr. Rabs: Excuse me? I have a toothache.
*[Cut to SpongeBob in the waiting room.]
*SpongeBob: [To Incidental 153] Waiting... and stuff.... right?
*Fred: Don't talk to me or my Daughter ever again.
*SpongeBob: Okay, not the talker.
*[Cut to Patrick. He is waiting in the Doctor's Office]
*Doctor: Patrick Star?
*Patrick: That's me! I'm Patrick Star
*Doctor: That's great. Come back here, now, boy!
*Patrick: Nuh-uh.
*Doctor: [Pulls out a ball]
*Patrick: Arf Arf!
*Doctor: Fetch! [Throws it into the room where Patrick is to be appointed]
*Patrick: [Runs for it]
*Doctor: [Locks the door.]
*[Transition to SpongeBob]
*Dr. Evil Mr. Rabs: Hello, Mr. Ra- You're not Mr. Rabs!
*[He checks his watch]
*Dr. Evil Mr. Rabs: Hey, unrelated to anything, but what day is it?
*SpongeBob: Oh, it's-
*[Audio Mutes. Dr. Evil Mr. Rabs drops his clapboard.]
*Dr. Evil Mr. Rabs: YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I'M IN THE FUTURE?
*SpongeBob: What do you mean? This is now!
*Dr. Evil Mr. Rabs: Well, I was supposed to meet Mr. Rabs here, on September 21, 2023. You're telling me it's-
*[Audio Mutes]
*SpongeBob: Yup!
*Dr. Evil Mr. Rabs: Oh, well. I'll get back home sometime. Anyway, what do you need?
*SpongeBob: I need therapy.
*Dr. Evil Mr. Rabs: Oh, boy.
*[Transition to Patrick]
*Doctor: Well, Patrick. Everything seems to be good.
*Patrick: Really?
*Doctor: No. Everything is, in fact, terrible.
*Patrick: How?
*Doctor: You have... AIDS.
*Patrick: [Shocked, drops his clapboard] I've got to tell Squidward!
*[He runs out of the Doctor's place, leaving a hole shaped like him in the wall. The Doctor shrugs. Transition to SpongeBob]
*SpongeBob: And, That's what happened between me and Squidward!
*[Shot of Dr. Evil Mr. Rabs crying.]
*Dr. Evil Mr. Rabs: That's the saddest story I've ever heard! [Sniffles] Well, I shouldn't get in the way of your real Therapy. I'm out of here!
*[He runs away, crying.]
*[Cut to Mr. Rabs waiting.]
*Dentist Lady: A, Mr. Rabs, please?
*Mr. Rabs: Yeah?
*Dentist Lady: We'll need you back here for your toothache!
*Mr. Rabs: [Sighs] Alright.
*[He walks in, and sees a hole, shaped like Evil Mr. Rabs in the wall]
*Mr. Rabs: Uh oh. Let's hope this doesn't alter the space time continuum at all!
*[Transition to Patrick at Squidward's house.]
*Patrick: Squidward, I need to talk to you.
*Squidward: About what?
*Patrick: Squidward... I went to the Doctor's today... and... I have AIDS.
*[Pause.]
*Squidward: What?
*[Pause.]
*Patrcick: Yes, I have AIDS.
*[Pause.]
*Squidward: I don't understand. How could you have AIDS? You've only had sex with SpongeBob and me, right?
*Patrick: Well...
*[Pause.]
*Patrick: I lied.
*Squidward: Why would you lie about something like that?
*[Pause.]
*[Cut to SpongeBob, walking home at night, during a rainy night.]
*SpongeBob: [Shivers] It's so cold. I wish Mr. Krabs didn't make me work on days like this.
*[Suddenly Cops come over]
*Police Officer #1: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
*[Cut to black.]
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