Two and a Half Men

==Show Description==
==Episode List==
===Season 1===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
December 7, 2017 	101 	Pilot
December 7, 2017 	102 	Big Flappy Bastards
December 8, 2017 	103 	Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
December 8, 2017 	104 	If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
December 9, 2017 	105 	The Last Thing You Want is to Wind Up with a Hump
December 9, 2017 	106 	Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
December 10, 2017	107 	If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
December 10, 2017	108 	Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
December 11, 2017	109 	Phase One, Complete
UNAIRED 	110 	Merry Thanksgiving
December 11, 2017	111 	Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
December 12, 2017	112 	Camel Filters and Pheromones
December 13, 2017	113 	Sarah Like Puny Alan
December 13, 2017	114 	I Can't Afford Hyenas
December 14, 2017	115 	Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
December 14, 2017	116 	That Was Saliva, Alan
December 15, 2017	117 	Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
December 15, 2017	118 	An Old Flame with a New Wick
December 16, 2017	119 	I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
December 17, 2017	120 	Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
December 18, 2017	121 	No Sniffing, No Wowing
December 18, 2017	122 	My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
December 19, 2017	123 	Just Like Buffalo
December 19, 2017	124 	Can You Feel My Finger?
===Season 2===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
December 20, 2017	201 	Back Off, Mary Poppins
December 20, 2017	202 	Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
December 21, 2017	203 	A Bag Full of Jawea
December 21, 2017	204 	Go Get Mommy's Bra
December 22, 2017	205 	Bad News from the Clinic?
December 22, 2017	206 	The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance
December 23, 2017	207 	A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
December 23, 2017	208 	Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
December 24, 2017	209 	Yes, Monsignor
December 24, 2017	210 	The Salmon Under My Sweater
December 26, 2017	211 	Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
December 26, 2017	212 	A Lungful of Alan
December 27, 2017	213 	Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
December 27, 2017	214 	Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts
December 28, 2017	215 	Smell the Umbrella Stand
December 28, 2017	216 	Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
December 29, 2017	217 	Woo-Hoo, A Hernia Exam!
December 29, 2017	218 	It Was Mame, Mom
December 30, 2017	219 	A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
December 30, 2017	220 	I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
December 31, 2017	221 	A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
December 31, 2017	222 	That Old Hose Bag is My Mother
January 1, 2018 	223 	Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
January 1, 2018 	224 	Does This Smell Funny to You?
===Season 3===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
January 2, 2018 	301 	Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
January 2, 2018 	302 	Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
January 3, 2018 	303 	Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
January 3, 2018 	304 	Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
January 4, 2018 	305 	We Called It Mr. Pinky
UNAIRED 	306 	Hi, Mr. Horned One
January 4, 2018 	307 	Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
January 5, 2018 	308 	That Voodoo That I Do Do
January 5, 2018 	309 	Madame and Her Special Friend
January 6, 2018 	310 	Something Salted and Twisted
December 12, 2017	311 	Santa's Village of the Damned
January 6, 2018 	312 	That Special Tug
January 7, 2018 	313 	Humiliation is a Visual Medium
January 7, 2018 	314 	Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
January 8, 2018 	315 	My Tongue is Meat
January 8, 2018 	316 	Ergo, the Booty Call
January 9, 2018 	317 	The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
January 9, 2018 	318 	The Spit-Covered Cobbler
January 10, 2018 	319 	Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
January 10, 2018 	320 	Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
January 11, 2018 	321 	And the Plot Moistens
January 11, 2018 	322 	Just Once with Aunt Sophie
January 12, 2018 	323 	Arguments for the Quickie
January 12, 2018 	324 	That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
===Season 4===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
January 13, 2018 	401 	Working for Caligula
January 13, 2018 	402 	Who's Vod Kanockers?
January 14, 2018 	403 	The Sea is a Harsh Mistress
January 14, 2018 	404 	A Pot-Smoking Monkey
January 15, 2018 	405 	A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
January 15, 2018 	406 	Apologies for the Frivolity
January 16, 2018 	407 	Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
January 16, 2018 	408 	Release the Dogs
January 17, 2018 	409 	Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
January 17, 2018 	410 	Kissing Abe Lincoln
December 16, 2017	411 	Walnuts and Demerol
January 18, 2018 	412 	Castrating Sheep in Montana
January 18, 2018 	413 	Don't Worry, Speed Racer
January 19, 2018 	414 	That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
January 19, 2018 	415 	My Damn Stalker
January 20, 2018 	416 	Young People Have Phlegm Too
January 20, 2018 	417 	I Merely Slept with a Commie
January 20, 2018 	418 	It Never Rains in Hooterville
January 20, 2018 	419 	Smooth as a Ken Doll
January 21, 2018 	420 	Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
January 21, 2018 	421 	Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
January 21, 2018 	422 	Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
January 21, 2018 	423 	Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin
January 22, 2018 	424 	Prostitutes and Gelato
===Season 5===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
January 22, 2018	501 	Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
January 23, 2018	502 	Media Room Slash Dungeon
January 23, 2018	503 	Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
January 24, 2018	504 	City of Great Racks
January 24, 2018	505 	Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
January 25, 2018	506 	Help Daddy Find His Toenail
January 25, 2018	507 	Our Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
January 26, 2018	508 	Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
January 26, 2018	509 	Tight's Good
January 27, 2018	510 	Kinda Like Necrophilia
January 27, 2018	511 	Meander to Your Dander
January 27, 2018	512 	A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
January 27, 2018	513 	The Soil is Moist
January 28, 2018	514 	Winky-Dink Time
January 28, 2018	515 	Rough Night in Hump Junction
January 28, 2018	516 	Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
January 28, 2018	517 	Fish in a Drawer
January 29, 2018	518 	If My Hole Could Talk
January 29, 2018	519 	Waiting for the Right Snapper
===Season 6===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
January 30, 2018	601 	Taterhead is Our Love Child
January 30, 2018	602 	Pie Hole, Herb
January 31, 2018	603 	Damn You, Eggs Benedict
January 31, 2018	604 	The Flavin' and the Mavin'
February 1, 2018	605 	A Jock Strap in Hell
February 1, 2018	606 	It's Always Nazi Week
February 2, 2018	607 	Best H.O. Money Can Buy
February 2, 2018	608 	Pinocchio's Mouth
February 3, 2018	609 	The Mooch at the Boo
February 3, 2018	610 	He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
February 4, 2018	611 	The Devil's Lube
February 4, 2018	612 	Thank God for Scoliosis
February 5, 2018	613 	I Think You Offended Don
February 5, 2018	614 	David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
February 6, 2018	615 	I'd Like to Start with the Cat
February 6, 2018	616 	She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
February 6, 2018	617 	The Ocu or the Pado?
February 6, 2018	618 	My Son's Enormous Head
February 7, 2018	619 	The Two Finger Rule
February 7, 2018	620 	Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
February 7, 2018	621 	Above Exalted Cyclops
February 7, 2018	622 	Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
February 8, 2018	623 	Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
February 8, 2018	624 	Baseball Was Better with Steroids
===Season 7===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
February 8, 2018 	701 	818-jklpuzo
February 8, 2018 	702 	Whipped Unto the Third Generation
February 9, 2018 	703 	Mmm, Fish. Yum.
February 9, 2018 	704 	Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
February 9, 2018 	705 	For the Sake of the Child
February 9, 2018 	706 	Give Me Your Thumb
February 10, 2018	707 	Untainted by Filth
February 10, 2018	708 	Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
February 10, 2018	709 	Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
February 10, 2018	710 	That's Why They Call It Ball Room
December 17, 2017	711 	Warning, It's Dirty
February 11, 2018	712 	Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
February 11, 2018	713 	Yay, No Polyps!
February 11, 2018	714 	Crude and Uncalled For
February 11, 2018	715 	Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
February 13, 2018	716 	Tinkle Like a Princess
February 13, 2018	717 	I Found Your Moustache
February 13, 2018	718 	Ixnay on the Oggie Day
February 13, 2018	719 	Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave
February 14, 2018	720 	I Called Him Magoo
February 14, 2018	721 	Gumby with a Pokey
February 14, 2018	722 	This is Not Gonna End Well
===Season 8===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
February 14, 2018	801 	Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
February 15, 2018	802 	A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
February 15, 2018	803 	A Pudding-Filled Cactus
February 15, 2018	804 	Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
February 15, 2018	805 	The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
February 16, 2018	806 	Twanging Your Magic Clanger
February 16, 2018	807 	The Crazy Bitch Gazette
February 16, 2018	808 	Springtime on a Stick
February 16, 2018	809 	A Good Time in Central Africa
February 17, 2018	810 	Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
February 17, 2018	811 	Dead from the Waist Down
February 17, 2018	812 	Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
February 17, 2018	813 	Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup
February 18, 2018	814 	Lookin' for Japanese Subs
February 18, 2018	815 	Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
February 18, 2018	816 	That Darn Priest
===Season 9===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
February 18, 2018	901 	Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
February 19, 2018	902 	People Who Love Peepholes
February 19, 2018	903 	Big Girls Don't Throw Food
February 19, 2018	904 	Nine Magic Fingers
February 19, 2018	905 	A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
February 20, 2018	906 	The Squat and the Hover
February 20, 2018	907 	Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
February 20, 2018	908 	Thank You for the Intercourse
February 20, 2018	909 	Frodo's Headshots
February 21, 2018	910 	A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
February 21, 2018	911 	What a Lovely Landing Strip
UNAIRED 	912 	One False Move, Zimbabwe!
February 21, 2018	913 	Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
February 21, 2018	914 	A Possum on Chemo
February 22, 2018	915 	The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
February 22, 2018	916 	Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
February 22, 2018	917 	Not in My Mouth!
February 22, 2018	918 	The War Against Gingivitis
February 23, 2018	919 	Palmdale, Ech
February 23, 2018	920 	Grandma's Pie
February 23, 2018	921 	Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
February 23, 2018	922 	Why We Gave Up Women
February 24, 2018	923 	The Straw in My Donut Hole
February 24, 2018	924 	Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
===Season 10===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
February 24, 2018	1001 	I Changed My Mind About the Milk
February 24, 2018	1002 	A Big Bag of Dog
February 25, 2018	1003 	Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
February 25, 2018	1004 	You Do Know What the Lollipop's For
February 25, 2018	1005 	That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
February 25, 2018	1006 	Ferrets, Attack!
February 26, 2018	1007 	Avoid the Chinese Mustard
February 26, 2018	1008 	Something My Gynecologist Said
February 26, 2018	1009 	I Scream When I Pee
February 26, 2018	1010 	One Nut Johnson
UNAIRED 	1011 	Give Santa a Tail-Hole
February 27, 2018	1012 	Welcome to Alancrest
February 27, 2018	1013 	Grab a Feather and Get in Line
February 27, 2018	1014 	Run, Steven Staven! Run!
February 27, 2018	1015 	Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
February 28, 2018	1016 	Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
February 28, 2018	1017 	Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
February 28, 2018	1018 	The 9:04 from Pemberton
February 28, 2018	1019 	Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
March 1, 2018 	1020 	Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
March 1, 2018 	1021 	Another Night with Neil Diamond
March 1, 2018 	1022 	My Bodacious Vidalia
March 1, 2018 	1023 	Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
===Season 11===
Premiere Date	Ep No.	Name
March 2, 2018	1101 	Nangnangnangnang
March 2, 2018	1102 	I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
March 2, 2018	1103 	This Unblessed Biscuit
March 2, 2018	1104 	Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
March 3, 2018	1105 	Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
March 3, 2018	1106 	Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
March 3, 2018	1107 	Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
March 3, 2018	1108 	Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
March 4, 2018	1109 	Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
UNAIRED 	1110 	On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
March 4, 2018	1111 	Tazed in the Lady Nuts
March 4, 2018	1112 	Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
March 4, 2018	1113 	Bite Me, Supreme Court
March 5, 2018	1114 	Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
March 5, 2018	1115 	Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
March 5, 2018	1116 	How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
March 5, 2018	1117 	Welcome Home, Jake
March 6, 2018	1118 	West Side Story
March 6, 2018	1119 	Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
March 6, 2018	1120 	Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
March 6, 2018	1121 	Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT
March 7, 2018	1122 	Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
===Season 12===
Premiere Date 	Ep No.	Name
UNAIRED 	1201 	The Ol' Mexican Spinach
March 7, 2018 	1202 	A Chic Bar in Ibiza
March 7, 2018 	1203 	Glamping in a Yurt
March 7, 2018 	1204 	Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
March 8, 2018 	1205 	Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
March 8, 2018 	1206 	Alan Shot a Little Girl
March 8, 2018 	1207 	Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
UNAIRED 	1208 	Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
March 8, 2018 	1209 	Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
March 9, 2018 	1210 	Here I Come, Pants!
March 9, 2018 	1211 	For Whom the Booty Calls
March 9, 2018 	1212 	A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
March 9, 2018 	1213 	Boompa Loved His Hookers
March 10, 2018	1214 	Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
March 10, 2018	1215 	Of Course He's Dead (Part 1)
March 10, 2018	1216 	Of Course He's Dead (Part 2)
Category:Shows