What Love Is To Me

Hey everyone, it's Superstar! I was just thinking...and I wanted to make a page for all of you to read...and I hope it helps all of you. No matter what your ages...I hope you all know that love is a real and possible thing to find. Love is everywhere, and you can love anything or anyone. There is many many different kinds of love. But the kind of love I want to talk about right now...is Romantic Love. The kind of love that truly makes you feel like you're flying, the love that makes you want someone as your husband or wife. That kind of love. Some of you may even be too lazy to read this whole thing...but below I will talk about my expereinces and hopefully you will enjoy reading it, and as always you may make comments about it. "A chew toy?" "It's not a chew toy!" ~ I Am A Superstar!! :) (talk) 08:18 PM, January 26, 2013 (UTC)
==...how it feels to be in love to me...==
I am only 18 years of age, but I honestly think already I have found someone who I love. Some of you may know whom that person is, some of you may THINK you know...and I may have found love with more than one person...but I have felt it with mostly ONE person in my life.
I hope you know that at least in the beginning, looks really don't matter. I mean of course you don't want someone who looks worse then Shrek or something! But no one really ever looks that bad. And remember that most people don't ever think highly of thier looks either. 
So...this person I am talking about. The first time I saw him, my first thought, "Who the hell is this guy!?" I remember a few months after knowing him, I litterally looked at him and thought, "I don't want him. I would never want him. I don't even know everywhere he has been in his life. Who he knows. But I guess that doesn't mean I could not find out. Still, I don't want to be with him." A few months after THAT, I thought to myself, "I am starting to think we're perfect for each other, but it will never matter."
In between that time, I really got to know him: His personality, what he likes and does not like. Plus, just the way he would talk to me. He always had full attention on me. And the BIG thing was...how I felt around him. I had butterflies...but yet I was calm. When me and him would talk...it was like, litterally NO ONE else was around. Even sometimes there were 100s of people around, but I felt like it was just us.
I often felt like he also felt a connection with me, like i did with him. One day he turned towards me to ask me a question, and he had his face inches away from mine. He looked into my eyes, and I felt my heart beating. I felt like, with his eyes looking in mine, we were connected. I felt like he was looking into my soul...and when he walked away from me, my heart was crying for him to come back next to me. When he walked away, my breathing was different. Almost like I could not breathe, the feeling was so much.
A year after that happened, I still knew that he felt something. One day, I was walking to my class, and he was standing, leaned against the lockers. I am a small girl, so you would think I would be hard to spot in the crowd of passing students. But there he was...I looked at him, and he was staring at me. He looked into my eyes and I looked into his. He said nothing, but just looked at me and nodded his head. I thought, "Wow...we don't even need words to know what we are saying. He feels it too, just the way he looked at me." It brought me to small tears walking to my class, I could not believe how happy it made me.
Seeing him outside of school, was such a feeling. Sitting in the chair and waiting for his band to start playing, every time I get SO excited. Listening to him tune the guitar, and KNOWING it was him, but I could not see him because the show had not begun and they were rehearsing. Hearing him say, "Testing, 1..2..3..." into the microphone...hearing his voice...and actually starting to feel like you want to hear his voice call your name every single day.
The curtain comes up, and I hear him and his band start to play...and I can finally SEE him. He starts to sing, and I hope and hope in my heart he is thinking of me.  When he decides to take a break, he comes down off the stage. I walk over, for some odd reason, nervous. But WHY am I nervous? I see him and talk to him every day...WHY is this any different? I walk up to him and say, "Hi..." and he says, "Hey Stef! Good to see you here!" he takes my hand and shakes it, and looks into my eyes and smiles at me. I start to think, "My hand...it fits perfectly in his. I feel like my hand belongs in his..."
I go home and all I can do is...think about him. "I want him to be mine. I want to hold him. I want to tell him...I love him..."
Even knowing him more than a year...looking at him...and actually imagining him being your husband. Waking up with him, holding his hand, showing him that you love him. That's how it feels to me. That is love...I hope that this helps you some if you're reading this. I just wanted to kind of explain how it feels to be in love, and how it can happen. You really can fall in love with anyone...no matter what age, race, size, shape...any one can fall in love and any one can BE in love. The feeling is like nothing else.
Just imaging, or even standing right in front of that person, and imagining one day you will never see them again...hear them again...you feel so lonely and empty. All you want is to keep them by your side forever. If you can't even believe yourself, the things you're thinking about them, just by looking at them or hearing thier voice...it's amazing. I want to give an example I will never truly understand why I ever thought of this:
One day...I was sitting right where I am now, in my black computer chair. I was just sitting here looking out...and I started to kinda daydream. I saw me and him, and we were older adults...(30-40 years old) and I was wearing a dress. I looked up at him and I said, "I still love you after all this time." and he pulled me close and kissed me. I am guessing we were married and happy with each other. I have looked at him and actually saw him as my husband in my head. I mean to me, it's truly amazing how I feel and how without him I can be SO...sad or just feeling alone. Sometimes, I just think, "He HAS to be the one for me..."
This is all I want to say for now...I hope this can help you or something. I just wanted to share my opinion and feelings with love. I may come back to edit this later, but as of NOW...this is what love is to me. :) ♥
==Part 2 in 2019==
I was thinking, and I wanted to add to this. So the above was about Ian. I think I loved him, in a way a teen could love someone, whom she never kissed, dated, or was intimate with. But with John I feel so much more. More than I could have felt for anyone before him.
There is so much more I feel for John, that I think I never felt for anyone else. A big thing, for me, is having a family with him one day. I don't think I ever really, truly thought seriously about having a man's children until now. I have names picked out, and have imagined what they will look like, sound like, be interested in. I have never thought this deeply about having someones kids. And when I knew I wanted to have John's was when I knew I really loved him. 
What I felt for Ian, and some of the others, was mostly just physical. Like, "Oh, I want to date them and have sex with them." I feel more than that for John. When we met, I didn't think we would last because I didn't want to move far away from Allentown/Bethlehem/the Lehigh Valley, I wanted to stay living here. As he started to take me to the mountains (The Poconos, where the lake cabin is where he grew up,) I started to enjoy it there. The more I loved him, the more I appreciated being there as well. He had said when we 1st started dating he'd love to live there, I didn't want to. Now, I would move there, because as I have come to realize, home isn't a place, it's a person. I could be anywhere with John, and be happy, because I am with him.
I imagine being old together with him, watching our kids grow up and being good parents. I never imagined what a kid would look like between me and a guy I liked. And I certainly don't remember having any names. To imagine that we could make another human being, together, looking up at us is amazing. To think that a person could point to a picture of John and I one day, and say, "This is my mom and dad," that's amazing to me. And so easy to make kids. :D LOL. 
So many things, little and big, I had changed my mind on, or thought about. I feel I have matured and also fell in love in a deeper way. And I couldn't be happier about that. Just some thoughts. :) ♥
#iamasuperstar (talk) 06:47, April 15, 2019 (UTC)
==Continuation (Part 2)==
When You're Really In Love
#iamasuperstar (talk) 23:09, December 3, 2019 (UTC)
Category:Stefanie's Pages
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Category:John
Category:Martin
Category:Ian
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