Let's Take Him to the Police

"Let's Take Him to the Police" is an episode of The Game of Life
==Plot==
I have made one of the most... I don't even know the right word for it, embarrassing(?) decisions of my life. I updated the game and all of my mods, this meant I could access The Sims 4's gallery again (I can't do it on an out of date version of the game). While I was in the gallery I decided to replace the Krusty Krab with another Krusty Krab I saw on Reddit a few months ago. That's fine.
But... When I started playing the game on my new laptop I installed some new mods and there was one mod feature that's been sticking out to me. Every time I check a Sim's phone there is the option to "buy a strip club". This mod does not mess around and I'm really curious to know what a strip club in The Sims would be like. So... Since SpongeBob is going through a midlife crisis anyway, I decide to let the household buy a strip club.
I just stole one from the gallery, haven't even changed the name of it so if anyone has any ideas on names for this... Club, please let me know. I'm not sure if we'll revisit this club or not after this though. Now the strip club needs some dancers and the options are terrible. They're mostly serial killers and characters from abandoned storylines. I don't have a list of all of the dancers I end up choosing, but they include: Wario, Chris-R and a werewolf.
This took me 25 minutes to set up. The strip club is now open, SpongeBob and Graggle are the only members of the household who bothered to turn up to see how this goes. There's a DJ playing music that sounds like it belongs in an early 2010s Club Penguin free membership tutorial, I only bring that up because I'm playing my own music in the background as I'm writing this. My laptop keeps trying to change the volume of both the video's music and my music to try to improve my listening experience, this is incredibly painful.
The dancers and customers turn up to the strip club and. Oh. That's funny, it's time for Graggle's chemotherapy session. Isn't that convenient? Looks like SpongeBob is managing the club on his own. Hey, I see the janitor. It's former arsonist Willard Kline!
What the hell happened to you?!
Ooh. It's Chris-R! I've been lookin' for you.
Oh. It's woke Chris-R. Well. Chris-R's giving someone a lap dance. SpongeBob's playing games on his phone in a bathroom filled with people. Wario's pole dancing. There's another janitor called Cletus, I forgot to mention that earlier. A customer walks in, sees Wario pole dancing and just stares blankly. He's either enjoying the experience or is absolutely disgusted by what he's seeing in the strip club he just entered. There's a thunderstorm outside.
It's a me! Is there a scene in the Mario movie where he visits a strip club? I haven't watched the movie. Mario runs into the strip club and...
Mario decides to have a drink from the naked werewolf. Do you guys remember that Family Guy scene where Vinny says "You guys let a naked werewolf handle your drinks?" Love that line. Graggle comes back from chemotherapy, the session cost us $5000 but don't worry, we earnt some money from the strip club at the same time. The strip club gave us... $1.
I got a notification about SpongeBob "MIDLIFE CRISIS ALERT!" SpongeBob has hit the breaking point in life! The stress of it all is too much and he now has an intense desire to get out and explore the adventurous side of life. On the plus side, SpongeBob's Energy will decrease slower during this period. Check the Aspiration Panel for SpongeBob's Midlife Crisis desires and complete them to decrease the duration of the Midlife Crisis!
One of SpongeBob's desires is to "WooHoo in Risky Places". I don't know what that means but we're in a strip club so this makes the most sense to get done. HE WANTS TO DO IT 5 TIMES?! OK, I need to find some random woman for SpongeBob to WooHoo with.
You'll do.
YOU'RE HERE TOO?!
I'm trying to get SpongeBob to speak to Evelyn but she's currently getting a private lap dance from Wario so we'll need to wait for them to finish. There's so much pixelation in the background, I'm honestly kind of curious what it would look like if I had the uncensored version of this mod.
SpongeBob gets to speak to Evelyn, right when the club is about to close and she leaves. He goes home and tries to call Evelyn over but she's sleeping.
Uh oh. SpongeBob's drinking again. 2 hours after Evelyn tells SpongeBob she's sleeping, she texts him to say that she's wearing his favourite outfit and invites SpongeBob to her apartment.
Gremlins?
First thing SpongeBob does is use Evelyn's toilet. This is going well... Why is there a baby in this apartment?
SpongeBob asks Evelyn for S E X but refuses to because their relationship is too weak. The conversation continues and I swear one of the words in simlish sounded like "homophobe". The conversation ends after that and Evelyn goes to check on the random baby in the apartment. SpongeBob goes to watch some things on the TV.
Evelyn's roommate seems to be enjoying what SpongeBob put on the TV more than he is. Meanwhile, Evelyn is smoking right in front of the baby. That's not good. SpongeBob also shares baby pictures with Evelyn, none of SpongeBob's kids are babies anymore. Evelyn gets bored and falls asleep on the couch. You know what, I'm bored too. Let's take SpongeBob home.
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SpongeBob goes home and the lights are out. That's odd, I'm sure we paid the bills. Turns out, the house's power has been shut off in accordance with the "power conservation N.A.P." The power will come back at 9 PM.
Funky Kong goes to make an, I'm hoping non-alcoholic, drink for Prince Philip at the bar while SpongeBob goes to explore space in the rocketship. I think the roles have been switched here.
While cruising comfortably somewhere in the vicinity of the Vega Startron, SpongeBob sees a banged-up escape pod drifting out of orbit. Lights are flickering - maybe something's inside? If he brings it on board his ship, he can see what it is. Or he could just use it for spare parts. SpongeBob uses his ship's robotronic arms to drag the escape pod on board through the airlock. After a few minutes of banging on the hatch, it pops open - and an alien creature pops out! (I wonder if it's the same one who impregnated Funky Kong) SpongeBob's not sure whether he should try to catch it and subdue it, or just shove it out into space. After wrestling with the strange and slippery creature, SpongeBob manages to wrangle it into a big specimen jar. He'll take it back to Earth with him for scientists to dissect. Err, "study."
Meanwhile, Funky had a taste of the drink made for his pet, Prince Philip the raccoon. The drink wasn't very good and he's also drunk so I guess it was an alcoholic drink. Hopefully Prince Philip doesn't go behind the wheel. SpongeBob has returned from space, I wonder which of these two had the better adventure.
Funky gets a text from someone that reads "Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well. Did I make you laugh?" Who the hell are you? Graggle comes home from work and passes out immediately. He's burned out from work. SpongeBob's in his bedroom doing exercises to "Greedy" by Ariana Grande when he then decides to TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES TO HAVE A SHOWER OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN?!
SpongeBob has decided that photography is his thing and he wants to do it more often. I won't remember that. SpongeBob also invites Evelyn over and Funky invites Cassandra. I only realised while watching the recording that there are people fighting in the background. Funky makes a drink for himself (a sex on the beach to be more specific) and SpongeBob flirts with Evelyn. SpongeBob's conversation with Evelyn escalates quickly and Evelyn tells him that she is "from the future. We need to have sex right now or the space-time continuum will collapse!" SpongeBob responds with "oh no! Not the space-time continuum! Quickly!"
The power is back on and SpongeBob and Evelyn start having sex. In a bed. Right next to Frankie Kong. In front of Funky Kong. Funky Kong just stands there watching before eventually asking them to stop. They do so and Evelyn starts smoking instead. Still near Frankie Kong. Despite the very short duration, SpongeBob enjoyed his "sexual encounter".
Cassandra is still standing outside for some reason, she has a key for the house. She can come inside if she wants.
OK nevermind about photography, SpongeBob has now decided that fishing is his thing and he wants to do it more often. Graggle goes upstairs to talk to SpongeBob about his cancer and smokes a cigar. SpongeBob becomes very sad about this. Later that day, he invites Evelyn over to the house. The first thing she does is pretend to scare him. SpongeBob makes a drink for Evelyn and himself, he learns that Evelyn likes retro music and she leaves. Well that sucked. I then make SpongeBob invite her over again by using the dating app. SpongeBob invites her over for a one night stand (it is 1 PM) and she doesn't question it. Prince Philip also comes into the kitchen to tell SpongeBob that Frankie's crying, he's a smart raccoon.
Why is Graggle walking around the house naked?
SpongeBob then asks Evelyn if she wants to WooHoo with him in the rocket. She agrees to.
Why is Graggle asleep on the bench naked?
There they go.
After their session, SpongeBob has an "in pain" buff because his legs are cramping. But you wanted to WooHoo in risky places...
I'm ending this segment with a birthday party for Hallie, because nothing exciting is happening with her anymore. The birthday party isn't that interesting. SpongeBob has to bake the cake because the one the chef that I accidentally hired baked was terrible. Hallie blows out the candles.
I decide to make Hallie aspire to be a public enemy, because she's evil. I also give her the clubber trait because sims that behave are boring. 
The transition from a child to a teenager in The Sims 4 is so jarring. Hallie cares about being popular and has already made friends with some random people I have never seen before. The "party" ends and some drug dealer (not Chris-R) shows up. Hallie makes an alcoholic drink and buys a fake ID from the drug dealer so she can get into clubs. Hallie and SpongeBob hug briefly but he doesn't notice that she's been drinking.
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Denny's now a pill heavyweight and addicted to adderall. He was already on adderall when I started the game. I made him pop another pill because he was reaching baseline and he wasn't addicted at the time. He must've popped more pills when I wasn't looking. Meanwhile, Johnny and Lisa are running somewhere.
Yeahhhhh
One, two princes kneel before you
That's what I said now...
Oh my God. THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A BENCH IN PUBLIC AT 4 IN THE MORNING!
Mark's watching a film.
A holiday starts at 6 AM, the "Neighbourhood Brawl". In this holiday, you start fights with other Sims. Is there a holiday like this in real-life? Lisa feels happy about the sex, "the possibility of anyone being able to walk in on Lisa and her partner made that intimate encounter in a public place much more exciting."
Mark heads off to work, there's someone called Cornelius in jail. What a name. Mark takes a fingerprint from a criminal, cross references the police database and analyses evidence. Mark also discusses case theories with a lab worker. Mark then goes on patrol and ends up in the world's smallest corridor.
There's not a lot to do here. Mark shares the neighbourhood brawl spirit with a woman and then starts fighting her. The relationship remains friendly though, it's just part of the holiday. Mark finds a way to leave the corridor.
Well that's enough patrolling. Mark heads back to the police station and the evidence he analysed earlier somehow reveals that the suspect (for what?) is wearing a tank top. Mark heads to the location where the suspect was last spotted and starts interviewing women who are in the bathroom asking if they've seen the suspect. Eventually he arrests someone.
After the arrest, Mark heads back to the station and talks to Cornelius and his shift ends. Mark has been promoted to Corporal. Back at home, Peter isn't wearing glasses. Denny heads upstairs to snort some drugs while Lisa is in the bathtub. He ignores it, one of the mods I installed actually made it so Denny isn't attracted to Lisa automatically for some reason. After snorting, Denny realises he is out of Ketamine so he goes to Chris-R's place to get some more.
At Chris-R's place, his grill has caught on fire and he's running away from it. Denny goes to call the fire department about it because Chris-R is too busy laughing at the fire. But the fire department doesn't seem to care about it either so Denny deals with it himself, I think doing this cured his fear of fire. Denny then speaks to Chris-R about buying some drugs, Denny decides to buy some cannabis and cocaine to try, as well as some more ketamine.
"Hi."
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah can I have a dozen cocaine bags, please?"
"Oh hi Denny, I didn't know it was you. Here you go."
"That's meeeee. How much is it?"
"It'll be $3000."
"Here you go, keep the change. Hi Doggy."
"You're my favourite customer."
"Thanks a lot. Bye."
"Bye-bye."
Denny proceeds to snort drugs in front of Chris-R. I guess to avoid being caught? I haven't seen anybody in his house even notice that he's taking drugs. Chris-R asks Denny something but I don't know what it was. Denny snorts 2 lines of coke and he's somehow already addicted to it. After some more drug taking, a cop suddenly appears in the house and Chris-R walks off... Did- did Chris-R just report his favourite customer to the police for taking drugs. The cop says to Denny "Hey! You need to come with me to the station, we don't want your drug peddling kind around here!" and Denny ends up arrested.
5 hours later, Denny is released. The cops have taken his cocaine, ketamine and cannabis. Denny still has bottles of xanax and adderall on him though. It's worth noting that, unless he was doing something when I wasn't looking, Denny was never dealing drugs so I'm not sure what the arrest was all about. Anyway, Denny now has to get a lawyer. But first, he decides to dispose of the xanax and adderall on him by... taking all of them.
Just realised his inventory is glitched so he still has the same amount of pills he had before I made him go on this drug binge. I'm basically just making Denny overdose for no reason now. Also, Denny is still at Chris-R's house but Chris-R is not. Denny has no cocaine on him anymore but he is still addicted to it. So, despite his legal issues, Denny buys more cocaine and snorts all of it in one go. It's a miracle that he didn't overdose.
Denny finally decides to leave Chris-R alone and heads home with a new plan. He gets rid of the pill bottles and crushes the adderall into powder. Now the cops will never know, he's a genius. Denny then moves his arms around once and now he likes fitness???
Lisa texts Mark while he's at work and he appears at the house. Maybe I'll finally be able to get Lisa to cheat on Johnny. 
Yeah, the sex is coming. It'll be here in a few minutes.
Alright, they're finally having sex. You might be wondering how Johnny doesn't know after the amount of time it took Lisa and Mark to have sex. Well at first Johnny was out "exploring" and then he came home to take a nap downstairs. Lisa and Mark are having sex in Lisa and Johnny's bed because the stairs weren't available.
Once they're done having sex, Mark goes downstairs to speak to Johnny, who is now awake. Johnny and Mark then become good friends.
"Johnny's my best friend..."
==Gallery==
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Category:Episodes
Category:2023
Category:2023 Episodes
Category:The Game of Life
Category:SpongeBot678
Category:Episodes written by SpongeBot678
Category:2020s