A Very Special Mother's Day Message

A Very Special Mother's Day Message
==Synopsis==
Unhelpful viewers tips are given on what to buy mothers for Mother's Day, beginning with a display of what could go wrong, where Grif has bought his mother, roleplayed by Simmons, a series of gifts the latter despises. A scene is then shown in which Caboose, as the son, has made Donut, as his mother, a coffee mug which has already been broken and left elsewhere and all his money has been spent on Yu-Gi-Oh cards instead of a gift. Satisfied with the performances, Sarge then suggests an assortment of possible gifts using a scrolling list which moves too quickly to be read.
==Transcript==
Sarge and Tucker standing in the Gulch 	Sarge and Tucker standing in the Gulch
Sarge: 	Why hello. I'm Sarge from the popular webseries Red Vs. Blue.
Tucker: 	And I'm Private Tucker.
Sarge: 	We're here to talk to you about a very special event happening this weekend for many women. Maybe even one you know.
Tucker: 	That's right. This Saturday is Ladies' Night at the Rusty Nail and Screw!
Sarge: 	Ahruh, actually Tucker, I was talking about Mother's Day.
Tucker: 	What? Oh. Dammit!
Sarge: 	Ya know, a lot of kids out there are probably wondering what to get their Ma on this special day.
Tucker: 	Not me. She was a dirty tramp.
Sarge: 	That explains a lot.
Tucker: 	Finding the right gift for your Mom can sometimes be difficult.
Sarge: 	When giving a gift on Mother's Day, try to remember that your ma is a unique and special person.
Tucker: 	Whore.
Sarge: 	That can me that going the save route, might not always be so safe.
Tucker: 	Why whatever do you mean, Sarge?
Sarge: 	Let's take a look at an example. Grif and Simmons have politely agreed to help us demonstrate by performing a little skit.
Camera pans over to Grif and Simmons 	Camera pans over to Grif and Simmons
Grif: 	I don't wanna do this!
Simmons: 	What're you complaining about? You got the easy part. I'm the one wearing pantyhoes under my armor because Sarge believes in Method Acting.
Sarge: 	Don't you two make me come over there! Now get to demonstratin'!
Grif: 	(sigh) Mother. I love you because you violently squeezed me out of your womb. Here are some flowers I bought for you at a flower place. Happy official day for mothers.
Simmons: 	Worthless daughter. How could you be so thoughtless? You know I am allergic to flowers. Also you're adopted and I never loved you. I will now send you to live in shame, with a robot foster family.
Camera pans around Simmons to reveal Sheila and Lopez behind him. Cut back to Sarge and Tucker 	Camera pans around Simmons to reveal Sheila and Lopez behind him. Cut back to Sarge and Tucker
Sarge: 	Whoa, Nelly! That didn't go very well at all.
Tucker: 	Flowers seem like the perfect gift because they are pretty and boring, like most women, but that plan sure backfired.
Sarge: 	Now let's take a look at what happens when you go to a little extra effort.
Tucker: 	Take it away, Donut and Caboose!
Camera zips around to Donut and Caboose 	Camera zips around to Donut and Caboose
Donut: 	Hello son, how are you.
Caboose: 	Sheila!?
Donut: 	
Caboose: 	I mean mother? Because it is Mother's Day and I love you so, I made you a very ugly coffee mug in shop class today.
Donut: 	Oh, thank you my son, where is it?
Caboose: 	I left it at school. Also, it is broken.
Donut: 	Thank you my child, you always think of the perfect thing to do for me.
Caboose: 	I spent my allowance on Yu-Gi-Oh trading cards, and meat flavored bubble gum.
Donut: 	My angel.
Sarge: 	(entering from the right) Aaand scene. So now you see how the personal touch, is what really makes all the difference when selecting a Mother's Day gift.
Tucker: 	What? That last skit didn't make any sense whatsoever!
Sarge: 	Exactly!
Tucker: 	This is retarded, I'm leaving. (leaves)
Sarge: 	Remember kids, you only have one mother. Unless you come from a progressive home like Donut's. So be good to her on Mother's Day. And now, for those of you who still don't have any good gift ideas, here's a list of Sarge-approved items you might want to consider.
Sarge turns to the side to watch his list scroll by extraordinarily quickly. The list is: Extra-bendy Cactus; Exotic Flightless Bird; Undercarriage Washer; Dispenser of Goodies; Yoga-tizing Spatula; Mutant Goblin; Argentine Man-Servant; Space Goo (or similar); Fractal Misnomer; Rhinoplasty; Donkeyplasty; Nastyplasty; Old Shoe Horn; Old Horn; New Shoe; Smaller Crawdads; Sandbox (with box); Transparent Ding-Gong; Articulated Thing; Round One (or likewise); Extras; Candy with Tips; Sonambulent Honkie; Misguided Dobro; Banjo Spaceship; Parachutes and Fishes; Tu Blave; Macchu Picchu; Most Postacio; Mustafa Portencio; Claven (sans nuts); Shanks, all types; Wind Samples; Mutton; Extraordinary Slorf; Fineries. Sarge looks back to the camera	Sarge turns to the side to watch his list scroll by extraordinarily quickly. The list is: Extra-bendy Cactus; Exotic Flightless Bird; Undercarriage Washer; Dispenser of Goodies; Yoga-tizing Spatula; Mutant Goblin; Argentine Man-Servant; Space Goo (or similar); Fractal Misnomer; Rhinoplasty; Donkeyplasty; Nastyplasty; Old Shoe Horn; Old Horn; New Shoe; Smaller Crawdads; Sandbox (with box); Transparent Ding-Gong; Articulated Thing; Round One (or likewise); Extras; Candy with Tips; Sonambulent Honkie; Misguided Dobro; Banjo Spaceship; Parachutes and Fishes; Tu Blave; Macchu Picchu; Most Postacio; Mustafa Portencio; Claven (sans nuts); Shanks, all types; Wind Samples; Mutton; Extraordinary Slorf; Fineries. Sarge looks back to the camera
Sarge: 	Happy Mother's Day.
Donut: 	Hey wait a minute! It's over already!? I didn't even get a chance to breast-feed anyone! Oh man, my nipples are already lactating!
==Sarge's Gift Ideas==
Sarge supplies a list of gift ideas for Mother's day. Seen only for a second, here is the full listing:
*Extra-bendy Cactus
* Exotic Flightless Bird
* Undercarriage Washer
* Dispenser of Goodies
* Yoga-tizing Spatula
* Mutant Goblin
* Argentine Man-Servant
* Space Goo (or similar)
* Fractal Misnomer
* Rhinoplasty
* Donkeyplasty
* Nastyplasty
* Old Shoe Horn
* Old Horn
* New Shoe
* Smaller Crawdads
* Sandbox (with box)
* Transparent Ding-Gong
* Articulated Thing
* Round One (or likewise)
* Extras
* Candy with Tips
* Somambulent Honkie
* Misguided Dobo
* Banjo Spaceship
* Parachutes and Fishes
* Tu Blave
* Macchu Picchu
* Most Postacio
* Mustafa Portencio
* Claven (sans nuts)
* Sharks, all types
* Wind Samples
* Mutton
* Extraordinary Slorf
* Fineries
==Video==
<youtube>EoITimjYb4k</youtube>
Category:PSAs
Category:Episodes