2013.05.27 - He Looks Like a Monkey, and...

Just a quiet evening around the Legion of Super-Heroes Headquarters. The front door is, as usual during visiting hours, open to the public, though said visiting hours are beginning to wind down at this point, and there aren't any visitors of note right now. The receptionist robot sits at the desk, silent and attentive, as it awaits anyone entering the foyer and requiring its attentions.
And then there is Grodd, giant, 14 foot tall gorilla Grodd, would be conqueror of earth walking in to the lobby of the tower carrying a briefcase but wearing and carrying nothing else. The security systems might go into alarm right away which Grodd expects so he won't be alarmed or offended. In fact if they don't go off he might be more offended.
The scanners of the building can see in his briefcase. It's just paper and a collection of data discs. No weapons, explosives, mind control amplifiers or anything of that nature. Once he is in the door the giant gorilla lumbers up to the front desk and looks down at the reception-droid, "General Grodd, to see the descendent of Brainiac. " in a perfectly calm, reasonable voice like any other visitor except for the fact he's a giant super-criminal.
And then there is Grodd, giant, 14 foot tall gorilla Grodd, would be conqueror of earth walking in to the lobby of the tower carrying a briefcase but wearing and carrying nothing else. The security systems might go into alarm right away which Grodd expects so he won't be alarmed or offended. In fact if they don't go off he might be more offended.
The scanners of the building can see in his briefcase. It's just paper and a collection of data discs. No weapons, explosives, mind control amplifiers or anything of that nature. Once he is in the door the giant gorilla lumbers up to the front desk and looks down at the reception-droid, "General Grodd, to see the descendent of Brainiac. " in a perfectly calm, reasonable voice like any other visitor except for the fact he's a giant super-criminal.
The robot, who isn't programmed for anything but public relations, cheerfully replies in its tinny voice, "Absolutely, sir! Please have a seat in the reception area, and I will inform Mister Dox of your arrival." The 'droid gestures illustratively to a collection of chairs in an alcove to one side, and then it gets a somehow more blank expression on its featureless face as it begins remotely communicating with the COMPUTO system.
Meanwhile, in his lab, Brainiac 5 is buried (fairly literally) inside a mysterious-looking machine when the call comes through. He ignores it pointedly for the first half-dozen buzzes, and then (with a muffled curse in Interlac) he emerges to answer it. And stares at the security feed. And then he reaches for his comlink.
"Brainiac 5 to all Legionnaires at headquarters. Be advised: the super-criminal codenamed 'Gorilla Grodd' has entered the base and is asking to see me." This said, he goes to meet the odd visitor. Because, after all, he has to know what this is all about.
So, soon after Grodd's arrival, Brainac 5 makes his appearance, dressed in his customary purple and black utility suit and (of course) rocking the ostentatious golden Legion belt. "General Grodd," he says
Grodd stands up when the hero comes out and says, "Mr. Dox, is it? I understand you are a descendent of the original Brainiac? If so I was wondering if you could help me with a project I am building. " he says as he walks towards Brainy to meet him half way across the room. Yes, the super-villain is asking for help.
Grodd will be sitting in one of the relatively tiny chairs with his briefcase in his lap being held with his large fingers and his legs squeezed together in front of him so he can fit in the assigned space. One could consider it comical if he wasn't a homicidal megalomaniac.
Grodd stands up when the hero comes out and says, "Mr. Dox, is it? I understand you are a descendent of the original Brainiac? If so I was wondering if you could help me with a project I am building. " he says as he walks towards Brainy to meet him half way across the room. Yes, the super-villain is asking for help.
"Acknowledged," says Cos over the comm, heading down through one of the transport tubes, aiming for a sectioned-off sub-lobby sort of thing with monitors and stuff in it. Because the Legion rolls like that. Sometimes they even turn off the lights so remote cameras can't see their lips move, depending on who you ask. "I'm here as backup if you need me. I'll stay out of your conversation until then; I doubt I could understand it, anyway..."
"I'm watching, Brainy," Laurel Gand responds from where she zoomed to 'perch' in the upper atmosphere. Quickest distance between two points and all that. "The instant he pulls something..." she doesn't fill in the rest.
Brainiac 5 stops in the center of the lobby, where Grodd has come to meet him halfway. Settling into a fairly relaxed stance, the hero clasps his hands behind his back and regards Grodd with an expression that might be called impassive, if perhaps tinged with restrained but undeniable curiosity. "General, I find it highly curious that you would come to me for aid with one of your," he hesitates before finishing, "...projects." Glancing, with a nod, toward a large holographic display of the Legion's "L*" symbol floating nearby. "Perhaps you are not aware, but we are the Legion--of SUPER-HEROES. We are not in the business of genocide, forced genetic recomposition, mind control, or any of the other 'projects' for which you are widely known." He offers a thoroughly unconvincing smile and adds, "Of course, if you are in any kind of danger, we would be only too happy to shelter you in our secure holding area."
Grodd says, "This isn't one of those projects. I am creating an animal preserve, it's a gift. " he explains, "I need your shrinking ray technology. It's much more energy efficient than my own." he explains then he squats down and open the brief case pulling out his proposal. It's in a nicely formatted clear plastic binder with his plan explained in detail, "You see, there is this species called The Brood." he explains as he holds up the data disk, "All their relevant information is found on here." then he looks back to the portfolio, "According to several time travelers who I have kidnapped and interrogated in several various time lines, almost as if it's inevitable, the brood have invaded earth bringing humanity and the rest of the large life forms on earth to the point of near extinction." he says, "I happen to live in this time line so I am going to do something about this possibility. Also the fact that humanity is driving animals to the point of extinction on a ever increasing level annoys me and since I can't kill all the humans, I might as well save some of the animals." The plan, laid out in the folder for Brainy to peruse, is to shrink an uninhabited island and populate it with endangered species who can live in cohabitation then shield it from man kind behind a force-field and cloaking system. The details of the technology are vague of course. "I plan on stealing the island by shrinking it and then keeping it in a safe place with all the endangered species in the care of a human I trust to protect them. Something of a dream of hers really." and there you see, is the truth of the matter. He's going to steal an island using his enemies technology to impress a girl.
Brainiac 5's eyes flicker with a bright magenta light that obscures the whites, irises, and pupils with its glow. Those who know him will realize that he is scanning the information and adding it to his databases. Those who don't--well, one must assume they take the sign to mean whatever they will. After a few seconds of this, Brainac 5 says, "It is an interesting concept--and conceivably admirable--to preserve life in this way. Indeed, Vril Dox utilized similar technologies in his efforts across numerous timelines." Here, though, he shakes his head.
"However, I cannot condone the use of Coluan technology to engage in grand theft of real estate, even within international waters. Moreover, neither does such a method strike me as most efficient or effective. If your purpose is to create a 'backup' of Earth's creatures, then it would be more prudent to simply archive their genetic information in digital form--a 'DNA library' if you will. It would be more logical and desirable, when it comes to living creatures, to preserve them in their natural habitats. If you like, I can furnish you with an academic paper I published during my primary school years that discusses the flawed methodologies employed by Vril Dox. The professoriate at the Time Institute was quite intrigued by the proposal, which I believe contributed to their eagerness for me to study there." For a moment, even with his eyes obscured by glowing lenses, Brainiac 5 appears lost in thought.
Grodd says, "Well, of course I'll do that too." like the DNA library was a forgone conclusion. He says, "That's not the point really. The woman I am giving the island too is unhappy with her life. She needs something to give her meaning and purpose so she can abandon her life of crime and focus on leading a better more productive life. If I give her an island full of endangered species to take care of it will give her the motivation to be a better person."
Setting the brief case and it's contents down Grodd continues, "Someone with nothing to lose is dangerous and unpredictable to themselves and others." he says like that bothers him but it really doesn't. He just wants her to owe him. "You are heroes. You fight crime right? You would be setting up a sanctuary which could save the future of the planet and helping a criminal reform her life. Which is why I came to you, to appeal to your pathetic need to make everyone conform to your standards. Your obsessive, need to control all aspects of society which puts villains to shame should be more than enough motivation to get you to help her start a new life. If there is one thing you can always count on the Legion for it's doing, " and he holds up his large hands doing finger quotes. "The right thing." The Gorilla smiles at Brainiac and says, "So, think it over. Let me know when you change your mind."
(Meanwhile, listening from his security booth, Rokk has to actually stifle laughter at Brainiac 5's adept handling of the situation. And, to be perfectly honest, because-- it's always awesome to watch someone else on the receiving end of the Coluan's incredulous scorn. Sort of schadenfreudey.)
When Grodd packs up his plans and drops into the second line of persuasion methodology, the Braalian steps out of the monitor alcove, then leans against the wall with his arms crossed, watching with his eyebrows lifted. Just because he doesn't have popcorn, at this point, doesn't mean he's not figuratively eating it.
Brainiac 5 raises on golden eyebrow--which might look less odd if not for the green skin--at Grodd's rebuttal. "General, your assertions are--interesting, perhaps, is an appropriate term--yet they seem ideologically conflicted. On the one point, you assert a desire to socially regulate the behavior of your female friend. On the other, you condemn the Legion for attempts at maintaining the social order." He tilts his head slightly to one side, eyes flickering from the magenta glow to their normal humanoid appearance (with just a hint of circuit patterns in those piercing green irises).
"I believe you misunderstand the purpose of the Legion in any case. There is a difference between active control and social boundaries. The Legion exists to maintain social boundaries that ensure equitable freedoms based on shared social interests. Unrestrained, freedom becomes unequally distributed, thus allowing the rise of tyrants with nearly absolute freedom and an underclass who have few to no personal freedoms. In essence, your logic is self-defeating."
Then, offering that plastic smile of his again, he says, "However, General, I will most seriously consider your request. Thank you kindly for tendering it in such a peaceful and professional manner. I will devise a means of contacting you should my contemplations require further correspondence."
Laurel, on the other hand, is free to -mute her ring comm for a minute- and totally laugh her ass off up near space. Because she totally is. Those with particularly keen super-hearing probably HEAR it way up there, bouncing off of the clouds. "Oh, there's the 12th Level Intelligence I know and love," she tells herself once she calms down a little, wiping a laughter-induced tear from her eye.
Grodd clenches his fists and takes a deep breath.. must not smash.. must not smash.. want to smash!!! Must not smash..
"You see," he says as he motions to the Brainiac, "The Legion's goals are flawed, which is something you can't see because you are operating under the false assumption that order brings happiness and productivity. " then Grodd stands up again and puts his own hands behind his back, "I propose that it is the opposite. If I give this woman a life goal that will allow her to be happy and productive, she will have no need to commit crimes. Individual freedom is the very foundation of a stable society. The reason people commit crime is that they are unhappy. They need. They need money, or food, or have some emotional need which they believe can be resolved through crime. They often feel there is no choice in the matter. When I rule the world, and I will, I shall create a post scarcity society where no human, mutant, or Gorilla is forced to lead a life they do not choose to lead. Where resources are unlimited, where people are free to be whatever they wish and should they choose to change their mind and try something new, there will be no fear of loss because of it. " then he motions to the building, "Your Legion, what can they offer the people of earth? Maintaining the status quo? To let hunger and poverty continue? As one of the few being on earth capable of understanding the larger picture of time like I can, ask yourself, Mr. Dox, what exactly are you hoping to achieve?"
When Grodd doesn't actually leave, but continues to posit theories, Rokk -- who is, er, also in customary purple and black, but with less ostentatious gold -- digs in his belt and then lifts his hand up to his ear. He drops it a second later, and goes back to leaning and watching-- because even if he is, at heart, an aggravating texts-in-class note-passing kibbitzer, being an adult means you can't actually stand there and thumb messages out. Luckily for Cos, the Legion's got telepathic earplugs. He sends up Laurelwards, ~I wonder if this is when we get the actual pitch. Or the attack. Hell, miracles happen sometimes, maybe he's actually trying to get Brainy to believe him.~
~Oh, I don't doubt that last one - but he's got an angle. Villains like that ALWAYS have an angle!~ Watching with her ultra-vision, Laurel sits way up in mid-air like she's perched on the edge of a chair; legs crossed, elbow on knee, chin on hand, fingers drumming on lips. ~He's showing a lot more restraint than I'd expect out of just about anyone, though. Hell, I'd probably have hit Brainy myself if I were on the other end of that sort of wagon-circling!~
Brainiac 5 looks genuinely (notably, far more genuinely before) thoughtful at Grodd's assertions. Those green eyes attain a seldom-displayed unfocused appearance of distant contemplation. "Your assertions are not wholly illogical, General, and indeed, save for your doubtlessly despotic rule, I share many of those goals. In point of fact, I have empirical knowledge that a post-scarcity Earth is not unattainable."
Another pause, then, "Yet, many philosophers would disagree with your assertions about what maintains order in society. For instance, some would claim that it is the belief that one is constantly observed that keeps one from violating social norms. Another might claim that it is a function of ideology and state systems that maintain social order by shaping the beliefs of the people to their ends."
He shakes his head, his eyes focusing again. "The Legion, however, does not seek to create social order. That is the flaw in your assumption. Rather, we seek to defend those who lack the strength for self-defense against greater threats. The difference is subtle yet distinct: enforcing specific behavior and thought patterns is establishing a social order, while prohibiting certain behaviors for the sake of protecting the public is not done in defense of a specific social order but in the interest of aiding individuals."
Then, a shrug. "In any case, it is logical to assume that our philosophical perspectives stand in excessive opposition for immediate resolution within this conversation. It will be interesting to see what comes of this exchange. Thank you, General, for your time." And, apart from a polite little nod, his body language remains as unchanged as it has since he entered the room.
Grodd actually smiles as he believes that his logic is without flaw and that Brainy, being a being of logic will one day see the truth of this. One day Brainy may even turn on the Legion and bring about a society based on Grodd's words today. Even if Grodd does not rule it, that would be a small victory, victory enough that he shaped the future of the world. "Until then." he says then he nods and turns to leave the seed of doubt in the mind of Brainiac. Perhaps over time, it will blossom into something glorious. Though Grodd would have felt better if he could have hit Brainiac at least once...
~Well, that's what his belt's for,~ Rokk sends back, finally pushing himself off the wall, but still not coming closer. ~Oh, right. Yeah, he's keeping it reined in pretty tight. But really-- REALLY-- 'I wanna use your shrinking ray to make a wildlife preserve to bribe this chick I know into doing a heel face turn'? If he really wanted her to turn over a new leaf, for god knows what reason, there are *way* easier ways to accomplish that. Maybe he's trying to see how gullible Brainy is-- oh hey, come on down.~
Finally, as Grodd turns with his 'until then', Rokk moves to come abreast of Brainy, watching the departure. Must remain faintly stentorian, must remain faintly stentorian... "That went remarkably well," he says under his breath.
And down she is - too fast to perceive even as a blur until she slows down for a landing and invariably blows past Grodd on her way in. Leaning against the wall, like she'd been THERE the whole time. "Masterfully handled, Brainy. Bravo!"
Once Grodd has left the premises (and, of course, after COMPUTO has informed Brainiac 5 that no listening devices were left behind, the Coluan smarty-pants turns to regard his teammates. "While I am not medically qualified to make a diagnosis, I would conclude that the histories are accurate when they describe Grodd as a genocidal megalomaniac. His ideas are preposterous, of course, but perhaps they will be of some use in determining a course of preparation in order to deal with him in the future." At that point, his eyes flash, once again glowing all magenta.
"However, his data concerning the 'Brood' is of interest. No record of such an invasion exists in the histories that I am aware of, yet as this is a divergent hypertemporal reality than that of our time, it is probable that they exist as the result of convergent focal points that originated from a context quite alien to our own. I will need to carefully review this data. Preparations--if vastly different than Grodd's--may be called for."
Belatedly, he blinks--his eyes returning to normal--and Brainy glances at the others. "Er, and--thank you. I simply engaged the situation in what seemed the most logical fashion. Grodd's ideas, while somewhat incidentally interesting, are grounded in countless flawed assumptions and conclusions." His expression attains a slight air of disdain, and he finishes, "Also, I found his appearance unprepossessing and his scent... distasteful."
"Sooooo... he looked like a monkey, and he smelled like one too?" Laurel BARELY manages not to laugh while she says it. Seriously. She does shoot a look at Cos while biting her lower lip, though. Because she's gonna burst from laughing, she can feel it.
Rokk's mouth twitches, and he /can not/ look at Laurel. Managing to swallow the amusement and return to serious business, the Braalian Founder reaches to clap a hand briefly to Brainiac 5's shoulder. "And I've met enough versions of you that I was delighted by your particular brand of logical analysis. So it's as Laurel Gand says, job very well done. Did you get any of the Brood data from him? I couldn't see what he was showing you. Also, you may want to speak with Imra: she has vastly divergent historical details, and might know something about them."
Blinking at Laurel and clearly not getting the joke, Brainac 5 says, "I'd say he looked more like a great ape--specifically a western gorilla--and, yes, I suppose his scent was likely typical of the species. My point was that his aggression--conveyed, as with many species, through body language and olfactory emanations--was rather distasteful." Then, at Rokk's shoulder clap and smooth segue, Brainy offers a bit of his genuine, occasionally even good-humored smile. "I scanned the data he showed me, yes. After I have ensured that it is free of any malicious software, I will upload the data to the computer system."
When other people don't get the jokes, the urge to laugh at them yourself sort of goes 'PFFFFFFFT!' like the air let slowly out of a balloon. She caught Rokk's mouth twitching, though! He just hides his lulziness better, obviously. Taking a moment to cough into her fist - not to hide any words, just to force the urge to laugh back down - "I'm gonna go... find whoever my training partner for the week is, I think. Ta, boys."
~Good, if you made me crack up I'd have to throttle you. Somehow.~ Yeah that telepathic earplug is still in, and Rokk is still the most genial jerk in the history of ever. "Later, Laurel," he says, tossing the Daxamite a cheery salute. Then he grins back at Brainy. "Excellent. When you've uploaded it, we can get to work on compiling the rest of the available information, see what kind of countermeasures we can prep. Imra's also on networking, so she might be able to point us in the direction of other information sources."
Brainiac 5 nods politely enough and watches Laurel go, and then he nods again--this time genuine affirmation instead of social nicety--to Rokk. "As you recommend, Cos," he says, and he stares puzzledly at Rokk for a moment--no doubt still wondering at the humor--before he turns and leaves the way he came, returning to his lab for some quality alone time. By which, of course, is meant the obvious--data sifting. It's a good life.
[END]
Category:Log