Humorless Answers to Hah-Larious Jokes

This is an educational segment of Comedy Time; instead of goofy answers to funny questions, there are wacky inquiries followed by humorless answers. Each humorless reply is followed by an educational, factual and informative lesson.
== The Favourites ==
=== The Grownups ===
* Sunny-"What did Mama Colour Wheel say to her bratty son?" asked Kam. "Absolutely nothing; colour wheels can never speak!" replied Forrest.(followed by the significance of colour wheels in visual art forms)
* Luna-"Did you hear about the TV antennae that got married?" asked Jadie. "Never mind; it's fantasy!" replied Madi. (followed by a lesson about Philo Farnsworth's invention, the TV and another lesson about rewinding fantasy because reality is irreversible)
* Bianca-"Where do religious kids make ice cream?" asked Kim. "In a kitchen with their parents' help;" replied Nina. (followed by a recipe for homemade ice cream)
* Mila-"Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?" asked Mila. "No; they can jump from 19-30 feet straight up." replied Sunshine Seanie. (followed by kangaroo facts i.e. "Baby kangaroos are called joeys; they belong inside of their mothers' pouches.", "Kangaroos communicate by making clicking noises." and "Kangaroo tails are for balance.")
* Mr. Barnum-"What did the feces say to the flatulence?" asked Mr. Barnum. Alexandria replied, "Nothing; feces doesn't speak!" (followed by a lesson on defecation helping our digestion and then a lesson about flatulence helping digestion work, courtesy of nitrogen, oxygen, CO2, hydrogen and methane.)
=== The Westley Kids ===
* Madi-"How long are reindeer legs?" "3 meters long."-Madi's favourite (followed by reindeer facts i.e. "Reindeer are also called caribou.")
* Eddie-"How long are giraffe legs?" asked Forrest. "2 metres long;" answered Jayray. (followed by reindeer facts i.e. "Reindeer are also called caribou.")
* Tami-"What do you call a tiger on the beach?" asked Trinitee; Tami replied, "Just a tiger." (followed by tiger facts i.e. "Tigers have a lifespan of 8-15 years; males weigh 200-670 pounds and females weigh 140-370 pounds." and "Tigers have 0.7 meter to 1-meter-long tails." as well as sunny day safety rules i.e. "Drink plenty of water to stay hydrated." and "Wear sunscreen to avoid heat stroke.")
* Kim-"Did you hear about the fire at the circus?" asked Kam; Kim replied, "The audience evacuated." (followed by a factual lesson about fire safety i.e. "Scream to get attention if there's a fire." and "Stop, drop and roll if you are on fire.")
* Kam-"What's the difference between a fish and a piano?" asked Nina. "Fish have scales, gills and fins as well as tails, but pianos have 88 keys, a bunch of strings, a lot of hammers, four legs and three pedals;" replied Kam. (followed by facts about fish i.e. "Fish have tails for balance and propulsion." as well as piano facts i.e. "Pianoforte is the Italian word for piano.")
* Phil-"A pair of pickles fell down; one said nothing to the other because pickles never speak." said Philly. (followed by a lesson on the fermentation process of pickles)
* Li'l D-"How do bays greet each other?" asked Bianca. "By doing absolutely nothing;" replied Li'l D. (followed by a lesson about what bays are)
=== The Eastley Kids ===
* Addi-"Where do cows go on Saturdays?" asked Fredd. Addi replied, "Nowhere because cows do not drive." (followed by a lesson about the process of milking cows)
* Fredd-"What do you get if you cross paper and scissors?" asked Addi. Fredd replied, "Torn paper." (followed by the process of trees turning into paper)
* Bambi-"What do you call a ghost mixed with a cat?" asked Li'l G. "A phantom kitty;" replied Bambi. (followed by cat facts i.e. "It's said that cats have nine lives, but it is not really true." and "Cats have 32 muscles per ear.")
* Jim-Jam asked Jim, "Why did the student multiply on the floor?" Jim replied, "Because the floor itself was so comfy to him!" (followed by a lesson about sensory sensitivity)
* Jam-Jim asked Jam, "How do you make a skeleton laugh?" Jam replied, "You can't because skeleton have no larynxes!" (followed by fun body facts i.e. "You had 306 bones as a baby, but as you grew, 100 of them fused together; nowadays, you have 206 bones in your body.")
* Billy Bill-Billy asked Philly, "How do you make a strawberry shake?" Philly replied, "Put milk and ice cream in a blender, then add strawberries and blend the ingredients; finally, pour the liquid mixture into a glass." (followed by fun facts about berries i.e. "Bananas are botanically berries." and "Strawberries are the only fruits with their seeds on the outside.")
* Li'l G-Philly asked Billy, "What did the sick elevator say?" Billy replied, "Nothing; elevators never talk and they don't get sick either." (followed by a lesson about Otis's Elevator Company of Farmington, CT, USA)
=== The Special Friends ===
* Jadie P.-Jayray asked, "What musical key do bulls sing in?" Jadie replied, "None of them because bulls cannot make vocal music." (followed by bull facts i.e. "Bulls can never be milked, but they can be made into a kind of meat called beef." and "It's said that bulls dislike the colour red, but that's untrue.")
* Jayray-"What do you call dental X-rays?" asked Sunny. "Radiographs;" replied Luna. (followed by a lesson about how dentists use radiographs)
* Trinitee-"What did the buffalo say to bid farewell to his daughter's brother?" asked Tami; Trinitee replied, "Absolutely nothing; buffalo don't speak like we do." (followed by a factual lesson about buffalo, a.k.a. bison and their meat)
* Nina-Madi asked, "How long are poodle legs?" Bianca replied, "A foot long." (followed by poodle facts i.e. "Poodles are German; they are not French." and "Poodles are hunting water dogs; they can swim and hunt down birds by pointing in the bird's direction and flushing it out.")
* Forrest-"What colour socks do cheerleaders wear?" asked Eddie; Philly replied, "It depends on the team that they're rooting for; I wear my all-American tube socks with red and blue stripes on a white background, just like Old Glory on my tootsies!" (followed by a factual lesson about Betsy Ross and America's flag)
* Sunshine Seanie-"What type of horse jumps higher than a penthouse?" asked Sunshine Seanie; Sunny replied, "None of them; they only jump up to 17 feet." (followed by horse facts i.e. "Horses are ungulates-animals with hooves-that communicate by nickering and neighing as well as whinnying and brushing their feet on the ground.)
* Alex-"What's a sheep's favourite fruit?" asked Li'l D; Kim replied, "Nothing; sheep eat grass." (followed by fun sheep facts i.e. "Rams are male sheep, ewes are female sheep and lambs are baby sheep.", "Sheep are ungulates; that means that they have hooves." "Lamb meat is red, it's served with mint; lamb meat is decorated with mini chef hats called frills." and "Bighorn sheep live in mountains; they communicate by bleating, head-butting and clicking their hooves.")
* Alexandria-"What is the smell of clown flatulence?" asked Alexandria. "It's just hydrogen sulphide;" replied Phillip. (followed by a lesson about flatulence etiquette i.e. "farts are for privacy" and "saying 'excuse me' after a fart is polite")
=== The Fans ===
* Kate Kubik, age 23 as of 2024-"What did the ice cream say to the cake? Nothing; desserts don't speak like we humans do!"
* Jared Kubik, turning age 25 in July 2024-"What's the best day for a beach party? The final day of school!"
* Ayanna Montgomery, turning age 21 in September 2024-"How do you make a bandstand? Construct a stage!" (followed by a craft tutorial on making a toy diorama stage)
* Caroline from Knoxville, TN, turning age 22 in September 2024-"What's the cutest season? Springtime because of the baby farm animals!" (followed by a lesson on how farm animals give birth)
* Miss Cranston, turning age 28 in July 2024-What do you say when you are totally shocked by a singer from the Alps? "I didn't know that you could yodel!"
* Mr. Ballwin from Ballwin, MO, age 37-What do you say when you're apologizing to a sad friend? "I did not mean to make you cry."
* Jackie from Ballwin, MO, age 25-"Who are Northern England's most famous men? Ant and Dec." (Followed by a lesson about who Anthony McPartlin and Declan Donnelly are: Anthony "Ant" McPartlin and Declan "Dec" Donnelly are TV hosts from Newcastle Upon Tyne, England who have worked on the game show, Britain's Got Talent and the cartoon, Engine Benjy; Anthony's heritage is Irish, but Declan's is Northern Irish.)
=== The Special Guests ===
* Tracy Squiggle-What do you call a box full of ducks? A crate full of livestock. (followed by duck facts i.e. "Duck feathers are waterproof," "Ducks have flat, webbed feet." "Ducks are fowls; that means they are birds that can also be meat.")
* Anna Squiggle (voiced by Jen Gould)-What do you call cheese when it is not yours? Dairy just for me! (followed by a lesson in sharing)
* Nikki Squiggle-Why didn't the butterfly visit the dance party? Because the music so loud that it made her ears explode! (followed by a lesson on how sound waves help us to hear and listen)
* Zacky Squiggle-What do you say to a teenage drama queen? "It's not a big deal."
* Mattie Squiggle-What do you call a cucumber from the rainforest? An exotic veggie.
* Ryan Squiggle-How do pickles enjoy a vacation? They don't; pickles don't go on vacations like we do!
* Amy Squiggle-What do you call a pickle sale? A grocery store clearance event.
* Darcy Squiggle-What's green and flies? A common green bottle fly. (followed by blowfly facts)
* Tuffy Squiggle-What's green and pecks on trees? A European green woodpecker. (followed by woodpecker facts i.e. woodpeckers peck tree trunks and eat insects.)
* David Squiggle-Why did the dentist give Emily laughing gas? Because it was for anesthesia. (followed by medical facts on anesthesia)
* Johnny Squiggle-What do you say to a disappointed friend? "Just deal with it already!"
* Jeremy Squiggle-What do you call a tigress in a snowstorm? A beast in a blizzard. (followed by tiger facts)
* Jackie Squiggle-What do you get if you cross a grilled fish with a drumstick? A meaty supper. (followed by facts about eating fish and chicken i.e. "Edible fish have Omega 3 fatty acids; that's why eating fish is good for your brain and your body." and "Chicken has protein to improve your muscles.")
* Marty P. Squigglet-What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? A marsupial-pachyderm hybrid. (followed by fun animal hybrid facts i.e. "A mule is the offspring of a donkey and a horse," "A zonkey s the offspring of a donkey and a zebra," "A mutt is a mixed-breed dog like a Golden Doodle or a Labradoodle," "An alicorn is a flying unicorn; it is also a horned pegasus," and "Tigons and ligers are the offsprings of tigers and lions.")
* Fiona P. Squigglet-TBA
* Bertha P. Squigglet-TBA