Jan's Sgran Van

Jan's Sgran Van is a food truck belonging to food vendor Jan Stan, also known as Jan Stan the Sgran Van Man.
== The Van ==
It is a yellow van with two red stripes on either side, and five red stripes on the roof. The logo is painted on the left side, and on the right side there is a large panel that opens up and forms a canopy so Jan can sell his wares. Also on the right side is a copy of the menu on a large board.
The van's interior consists of multiple fryers and a small oven, a fridge and a freezer, and dry items/Jan's personal belongings in a series of boxes. The 'cockpit' has slightly battered driver/passenger seats and a toy bat hanging from the rearview mirror. The license plate reads 'SGRNBT1' and, on the back doors of the van, there is a sticker saying 'HONK IF YOU LOVE DELIGHTFUL SGRAN'.
== Menu ==
The menu includes, but is not limited to:
* Chip cone/Chip tray/Bag of chips
* Chip/sausage/bacon butty
* Sgran Stew (Basically everything that hasn't gone in something else, as well as some veg. For good measure, like.)
* Yorkshire Pudding Surprise (The surprise is a black pudding stuffed inside it, Toad-in-the-Hole style)
* Stew Du Jour (served in gulp cups, he'll let you fill your own thermos if you have one but he'll charge extra if he thinks you're taking the piss by using a large thermos)
* Coffee/tea/water/soft drinks/ginger beer (his tea is notoriously strong)
* Sgranwich (double-decker sandwich, choose your own filling, fillings include basically anything else on the menu as well as Wensleydale cheese, Yorkshire ham, and 'surprise me'. Can be toasted if you like)
* Black Pudding Surprise (The surprise is a Yorkshire Pud stuffed inside, inverted-Toad-in-the-Hole style)
Items are added to/removed from the menu at Jan's whim, and he infrequently sends out questionnaires to determine what are the public's favourite items off his menu. The prices tend to fluctuate.
== Secret Menu ==
The secret menu can be accessed by asking to 'open a tab', leaving, walking around the van and coming back, then claiming that 'the bats are flying tonight' and ordering a ginger beer. Jan will give the customer a plastic cup with nothing but a piece of paper inside, with the secret menu written on the piece of paper.
The secret menu includes:
* A punch in the face from Jan
* A kiss on the hand from Jan
* Knife fight with Jan
* Bucket of chips (largest quantity of chips he sells)
* Extreme brew (tea strong enough to sit up and bark)
* Ginnel Special (nobody has actually ordered it - few have tried, but chickened out)
* Drag race with Jan
* Quadruple-decker deep-fried Sgranwich
* Stew Du Jour Concentrate (the very essence of Stew Du Jour concentrated into a shot glass's worth. It is said that the burst of flavour is legendary.)
* Five-hour rant about Jackie Chan
* Therapy session with Jan
== Trivia ==
* Jan has a list of 'banned customers' but doesn't tell anyone they've been banned.
* One item that is not on the menu OR the secret menu is 'Really long rambling anecdote', which is free, and Jan will give out voluntarily. How generous.
Category:Businesses
Category:Vehicles