Jules Visits Edgelord In Prison

is an episode of
==Bookmark==
==Summary==
==Plot==
(after being threatened by Nameless, Jules heads to visit Edgelord, who is being held in the W Files prison complex)
"We're not letting you go in there alone, you know. You know who this guy is?" Sculder spoke up. Or maybe it was Mully? Still not sure.
"Yes, I know who he is, I've literally been fighting him for years-"
"He's one of the multiverse's top Most Wanted murderers, rapists, terrorists, masochists, sadists, perverts, and... Cannibals?"
Edgelord shook his head no. "I actually only eat vegan."
"Really?" asked Sculder.
"Mhm. That's right, baby, my body is one-hundred-percent vegan gains," he grinned and gestured towards his body. You admit, he is pretty hot, if you're into that psychopathic mass-murderer sort of thing.
Mully looks a bit closer at their computer screen. "Actually... No, you're one of the universe's top wanted cannibals, too. It says here you've drank a few oceans-worth of blood."
You all look at Edgelord. He merely coyly shrugs. "What? I said I only eat vegan."
"Mully, Sculder... Can I have a moment alone with our guest here, please?"
Scully and Mulder are obviously going to object, but before they can do that, you summon your Velvet Revolver in your hands and aim it at them. They are clearly used to corrupt heroes and historical paragons of virtue threatening them, so they nod along and quickly, comically leave the room.
"Alone at last, eh, Jules?"
"Tell me what I need to know."
"I'm not going to do it for free."
"You're imprisoned. Jailed."
"Exactly, I know? I've got nothing to lose." He cracks a sinister smile. "And, something to gain."
"I could literally shoot you right now and just kill you."
"Maybe I would like that?" He has a point. He is Edgelord, after all.
You frown. "Alright. What do you want?"
"Well... I've been thinking of taking up some zen and meditation in here."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. Been thinking about maybe strengthening my soul. You can't be the perfect biological creature and apex predator if you've got a glaring weakness to soul magic after all, eh?"
"O.... Kay." Should you really be helping him cover his weaknesses, you think to yourself? But, then again, he does have something that you want... "So, you want me to pick you up a yoga mat at Walmart? Some incense sticks?"
"I was thinking more like... Literature. Scriptures. Biblical readings could be nice. Vedic texts, Bibles, Dead Sea Scrolls, Quran... Saw some of this at the library. If I weren't there to overtake the universe to usher in a new reign and in doing so eliminate the need for previous knowledge, I might have perused the shelves for a good bedtime book."
"Right."
==Characters==
*Agent Mully and Sculder
===Aliens Used===
*
==Trivia==
Category:Episodes