Cyclone Stuff Ep. 1: Irma goes insane

It's an average day in the 2017 storm season. Irma is preparing to invade Florida, like a Rube Goldberg machine on a bookshelf. Jose is still horsing around doing helicopter spinning in the Atlantic and Katia, a small storm, still fails to get damages done in the Chixculub Peninsula. The United States is still praying for the lords after the equivelant of a sponge falling on a counter smashed into Texas, Canada is still reading some book involving the heist of a thief taking 10 million pounds of maple syrup, and alaska is well, Alaska.
"Irma, what in the absolute FUCK are you doing?" said Jose, who was watching Irma slowly inch towards Miami. "What does it seem like, you Mexico?" replied Irma. "Irma, what in the absolute hell did you just call me?" replied Jose, angrily.
"A mexico, what does it seem like?! What are you as well, the equivelant to a peso? Huh? You absolute sombrero?" said Irma back at Jose, who was getting severely red with anger.
"Does the absolute piece of taco need a pacifier? Because you OBIVOUSLY need one." Irma said, savagely. At this point, Jose was starting to feel like he was about to combust into flames like a glass of nitroglycerin and a tissue. Katia was watching closely as Jose and Irma began arguing, with Irma winning on the upper hand.
"Did someone say pacifer?" called a voice. Irma and Jose turned around. It was Harvey, who was hogging an extremely illegal amount of oil between his cloud strings. "Harvey, what the hell are you doing?" said Irma. "Yeah, why are you holding nearly 6.20 million tons of oil? You know that'll cause the petroleum economy to skyrocket!" said Jose. "What if I told you that the economy's already skyrocketed even before i made Texas landfall?" replied Harvey to Jose. "Besides, what the hell is a economy at this point if i've destroyed half of Texas?" continued Harvey.
"And you thought that you had more oil than all of us," said a voice behind Harvey. All three turned around; it was Sandy. "Why are you here?" said Harvey. After this, Harvey was lifted up in the air and thrown to the Pacific. "I'm here because you're all fighting over the oil economy all three of you have likely caused. What if I told you," Sandy said as picking up the oil cans, "that I counted most of the oil destruction?"
"Not true," said Irma. "Oh, ok." said Sandy, leaving. Meanwhile, Irma looks around and finds Maria. "Maria, do you think Jose needs to leave America before Trump builds that brick wall?" says Irma. "The plan didn't begin yet, you fucker!" replies Maria. "Well, you're a mexican as well!" yells Irma to Maria.
"Ok, that was a very racist one right there," says God. "See, God even is on my side!" said Jose. Rudely, Irma interrupts with a haiku.
"T'was the night before Christmas, and said the mexican hurricane, that all hurricanes have a religion, and he definetely needs a cane." said Irma. "WHAT THE FUCK IRMA?!" screams Jose. "YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT!" screamed Jose again at Irma. "SO WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE!?" screams Irma back. "YOU DESERVE THAT HAIKU!" "IRMA, A HAIKU HAS THREE LINES, NOT FOUR, ALSO IT ISN'T DECEMBER YET YOU IDIOT!" "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, YOU BURRITO?!" "YOU HAVE SO MANY BOOKS AND YOU WEAPONIZE THEM, YET YOU LEARN NOTHING!"
Both Irma and Jose constantly screamed at each other like birds snuggled together on a tree.
To be continued..
Category:Fiction
Category:Weather Stories