Frozen Summary

Anna is a beyond annoying toddler who bugs her mentally troubled sister Elsa until she wakes up (it's midnight btw!). To get her to shut the hail up, Elsa shows Anna her powers- to make snow come out of her hands. Is it ever explained how she has this power? Nope! :|
So anyways, Anna gets a brain freeze from Elsa's powers- literally. Elsa accidentally freezes her brain. Their generic underdeveloped parents run into the room and take Anna to a group of retarded trolls who somehow have the power to heel her. To make sure Anna doesnt get another brain freeze (she gets enough from the 99999 gallons of ice cream she gets since her parents are king and queen of the palace), the parents tell her to spend the rest of her childhood in her room and never come into contact with Anna until she becomes an adult. You know, logic!
Then one day, the parents go on a large ship. They think they're going to another island (what they need there I don't remember), but a storm comes and they end up in Hell instead.
So, since their parents aren't coming back, Anna and Elsa suddenly are teenagers 10 years later, and Elsa is chosen to become the new queen since the parents apparently favored her over Anna, even though they both are equally annoying. Anna, since she's just a perfect little angel, isn't jealous at all, and attends the ceremony hoping to marry the first hot guy she sees. Suddenly, (*gasp*, who could've guessed?!) a hot guy appears and gets engaged to Anna straight away (I'm not even kidding).
Elsa gets angry because she doesn't have a hot guy (she accidentally murders them by giving them hypothermia) and accidentally uses her icy powers, revealing it to everyone. Elsa freaks out and runs off to a mountain where she sings a song about how she's happy that she'll never see another human being again, and builds a huge ice castle. To complete it, she makes herself clothes made out of ice but sadly doesn't die of frostbite.
Anna goes to find her and runs into another guy who is remarkably less hot and his best friend is a moose with reindeer antlers. After forcing him to take her to Elsa's castle, they set off in his sled, pulled by his abused moose. Along the way they run into the first good thing about this movie- a toddler-sized snowman named Olaf (but for some reason isn't a viking with that name). Olaf is the one who makes all the jokes and makes the movie not a complete and total bust.
So anyways, they come to Elsa's castle, but Elsa gets angry and uses her icy powers again. Anna is struck in the chest, freezing her heart (you know, logic!!), so they can have a heartfelt moment at the end.
The remarkably less hot guy takes Anna to the retarded trolls where they tell her that only "an act of true love" can thaw her (yep, we're watching a Disney movie alright). Anna goes back to her palace to find the hot guy and force him to kiss her, while the remarkably less hot guy rides away on his moose so that there can be an intense climax later. Elsa's icy powers have cause a blizzard to begin, freezing the entire palace.
It turns out that the hot guy is actually a donkey hole and wants to overthrow her to become king of the palace (gee, haven't heard THAT before!!), and locks her in the castle to die in the cold. Olaf somehow comes in even though the castle doors are guarded, and starts a fire in the chimmney to keep her warm. Eventually she figures out that Anna is actually in love with the remarkably less hot guy and somehow gets him to come back to the palace.
Elsa gets captured by the donkey hole and is taken to the palace and gets thrown in prison. She easily escapes, so the donkey hole tries to murder her with a knife (you know, for kids!). Anna comes and knocks the donkey hole out before the remarkably less hot guy can kiss her, and becomes completely frozen. Sadly though, the credits don't roll there, as Anna suddenly becomes unfrozen because her act of true love was saving her sister from the donkey hole (that's wrong in so many ways). And oh, big shock, LOVE IS THE KEY TO THAWING THE PALACE!!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE, IT'S WHAT DISNEY'S ALL ABOUT!!!
Then the moose eats Olaf's nose (which is a carrot), and everyone accepts Elsa's icyness, though in a few years they will likely sell her as a slave.