Two

In the d20 system, in order to do basically anything at all, you roll a 20-sided die and hope that you roll high. A 20 is an automatic success (well, at something). A 1 is an automatic failure, usually with some penalty attached.
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In the Eonverse, a 2 rolled in some form of combat situation is also generally an automatic failure...with a twist. Due to the properties of the Eonverse, in some planes of existence, rolling a two causes some random event to occur, as determined by rolling a 10,000-sided die (performed by a computer) and cross-checking the number against a list of all sorts of delightful things. 9999 causes the heat-death of the universe. 0000 causes winter to begin, and continue until it would normally end. (Is this correct?) These effects can be instantaneous, or they can wait for a trigger. If they are not instantly applicable, you will only know that it has been "noted". There is a two that causes "Nothing happens. The DM says, 'Noted'." Twos can affect the person who rolled the two or whatever they were targeting with the roll, if applicable. Both NPCs and PCs are subject to the wacky hijinks that twos can bring.
When a two is rolled, it is a thing to be announced to the group, either with pride, shame, or rage. The typical manner of letting the group know is "TWOOOOOO", which is a cry that may be picked up by those around you. Showing the two to those around you is also accepted. Combat will stop while the d10,000 is rolled and its effect determined.
Some people are magnets for twos, and cause statistical improbabilities wherever they go. Old Man Mike is one of these people.
There are separate lists of twos for different planes, and also for those unfortunate times in which party members not only decide to have sex, but they end up rolling twos in the process.
== Notable Twos ==
=== Season One ===
*Baudin failed a spot check and gained a party member (Ethan).
*We don't talk about the Annihilator's Penis of Power all that much, so let's just say that Yolanda rolled a 20 on her fort save and leave it at that.
*Baudin lost part of his memory after stabbing a gnome in the foot. This lasted approximately three in-game weeks.
*Ethan no longer appears to be alive while he sleeps. Ethan is not only undead, but a half-elf, and 'sleep' is kind of a weird concept to him.
*Ashra developed a morbid fascination with the undead while climbing up a cliff face.
*While Shiolay and Sam Ash were having some soccer practice, despite being in the outside chamber of the Hall of Many Things with Ethan and Ashra, Yolanda was still the closest female to these shenanigans. Her huge tracts of land, already quite impressive in their own right, became even bigger.
*A black dragon automatically failed its next ten saves. Ashra promptly charmed it and crashed it into a battle cruiser.
*"Nearest lich and nearest undead trade places."
=== Season Three ===
*Ashra's boots must be fed in frequent intervals or some unspecified penalty will occur.
*A boat racer shot at a zombie Ethan had summoned, thereby turning the zombie into a black pudding and nearly killing Ethan in the process.
=== Season Five ===
*When Fab Dick dropped to -10 HP, a "noted" two that he had rolled previously in that session kicked in and brought him back to stable at -9 HP one hour later.
*Shiolay spent several days unable to speak in Common, though he could understand the language perfectly and speak in any other of his known languages. Tobo quickly taught him to say "I totally understood that" whenever he needed to agree with the party's plans.
*Fab Dick believes that he is invisible so long as he has an egg in his mouth.
*A love potion spontaneously appeared in front of Ariana. When she drank it, she fell in love with a random nearby male: Shiolay.
*Shiolay's intestines were filled with sand when he tried to cast Walk on Water. Ariana got creative and helped him out in ways that the rest of Shadowwing, Inc. wishes they could forget. Forever. Especially since she decided her method would double as an interrogation technique.
=== Season Six ===
*While trying to use diplomacy to convince Charon that he should be able to cross the River Styx for the sake of journalism, Heckle rolled a two, and then managed to end up teleporting to precisely the right flavor of hell such that he instantly crossed the River.
*While Telamore and his band were on the elemental plane of fire, no nonmagical fires could be lit within fifteen feet. The elemental plane of fire is, of course, full of nonmagical fire. That is also on fire. FIRE.
=== Season Seven ===
*While attempting to turn a zombie into stone, Herr Doctor failed ... but it turned into steel instead.
*Herr Doctor now believes that he is the literal center of the universe. Or, as he has two minds, that he is a few inches off from the literal center of the universe.
*Ethan now believes that he is dead. YEAH.
*While fighting the dragon guardian, Ethan became insufferably pretentious. No one could tell the difference.
*When trying to convince someone she'd stolen from that she'd done it in a fugue state and didn't know which items were his, Claire promptly forgot the location of all she owned. (See also: this entire session.)
*Kruglor tried to convince the leader of a drow settlement in the Underdark that Ashra was the party member with kleptomaniacal tendencies. He failed, but became friends with Grax, the leader of Baldur. (See also: this entire session.)
*The next time Ethan would die, he will be instantly resurrected. Or...not. (See also: this entire session.)
*The next time Tiemp Hiss died, he would be instantly resurrected one level higher. This happened a matter of rounds later.
===Season Nine===
*Kruglor would automatically pass his next save. He promptly set a barrel of gunpowder on fire between him and Malicor, then dodged out of the way.
*While trying to use the Vecnaphone, Fab D started spewing fog out of his mouth.
*While trying to fix Ashra's broken leg, Zaphodel developed an aversion to clothing. She's been commanded to wear it anyway, however.
*Dread Pirate Lucy became convinced he had been poisoned with anicen again, leading to nitroglycerin shenanigans before the party resorted to a Suggestion to the face.
*In fairly quick succession, Lucy believed the next time he rolled a two he would die, and Zaphodel became reluctant to cast spells for fear of rolling a two.
*Zaphodel got hit by a cannon and an iceburg dropped from the sky.
*An arcane archer tried to shoot Ashra. Ashra was instead hit by Call Lightning.
*Ethan's spellbook and Sam's pie cookbook were switched.
*Fab D allegedly became unable to see Sam Ash for several days.
*Fab D allegedly turned the Jade Kracken III's balloon into several cows while trying to turn it pink.
*The Endure Elements Zaphodel was trying to cast on Ashra only came into effect when Ashra said the word "lasered" ("I hope I don't get lasered for this.") several days later.
*Leilah got three full round actions in the space of 6 seconds. Four attacks, a move, and a spell.
*Fab Dick's Int score doubled for one minute to 34.
*Ashra tried to dodge a lightning bolt and instead spit lightning at her nearest foe. 
*"Nearest dragon ... but any more would spoil the surprise."
*Leilah was trying to run away from Clint Walker, but instead turned him female. 
*In quick succession, Ashra set everything around her on fire trying to escape the warehouse she'd already set on fire, then on her next attempt moved all the fire five feet to the left.
*Leilah gained a chicken familiar. 
*Claire ended up with a +2 silver surfboard, which she promptly broke surfing down a ramp. 
*Jaxil's attack on a dragon dealt 12 times damage. 
*Shiolay dedicated his sect to opposing Twos. 
*Kruglor arrived flying on a giant owl, hit a dragon with his eyelasers, then Utterly Boned it three times. Then everything he did repeated.
===Season Ten===
*Goneril Frontline Eleven gained a scent generator.
*Ashra would not leave footprints for the next several weeks. Not that she usually leaves footprints...
*When Ashra slept for the next six days, she would be rained on, even if it wasn't raining on everyone else. She was in a bad mood already. 
*Eleven's stomach called Vishnu while he was in the bathtub. 
*Leilah now smells like roses. 
*For the next two weeks, Zaphodel would smell like cigarettes.
*While trying to extinguish the lights a mirror golem was using to reflect all damage, Cicero Tiberius Shadolan instead cast Deeper Darkness on himself. 
*Note: There were sixteen twos in Episode Four. Ashra got a luck reroll based on being the unluckiest person ever, having rolled most of the twos.
*Ashra's Cure Moderate Wounds wand tied itself in a knot.
*Zaphodel's house looks like it was built by angry children.
===Season Twelve===
*Leilah's boots took root when she tried to make a Knowledge (Nature) check on a spider. 
*Leilah gained boots that weighed as much as she did.
*One of Avi's gloves turned into a mitten.
*Leilah became convinced she was a stone golem. 
*Leilah thinks she can disbelieve necromancy spells. 
*Orcas got a nosebleed fighting Leilah.
*Leilah thinks the party fears her. 
*Ashra would have traded places with herself from an hour in the future, but it was rerolled.
*When Ashra dies, a nearby religious sect would have declared war, but it was rerolled. 
*Everyone who saw Orcas thought he was a harbinger of great doom. Seeing as he's an evil undead demon god, this was pretty normal. 
===Season Thirteen===
*Lucky believed everyone was trustworthy until proven otherwise. Just like he already did.
*Scarlett had a musical interlude instead of a Diplomacy check.
*Icania believes himself to be the reincarnation of an ancient king. 
*Scarlett gained the friendship of the operator of a major brothel while slipping on grease.
*Icania believed that his enemy's attacks were good natured joking.
*Icania believed that his reflection was out to get him, shortly before staring into infinite reflections of himself. Fun stuff.
*Lucky's hawk vomited messily.
*Scarlett's pockets filled with coal. 
*A mystical figure appeared, high-fived Scarlett, and disappeared.
*Semna's belt tightened.
*Lucky firmly believes he can see with his eyes closed.
*Scarlett's hands appeared blood-soaked. 
*Ollie has a granite hand.
*The next meal Semna eats with anyone will be bland and tasteless.
*Ollie will be believed to be the worst enemy of the next person who sees him. 
*Icania is convinced his death will take place in a cave.
*Icania's boot buckles became solid gold.
*Icania pronounces "magic" as "magick", and therefore no one can take him seriously when he says it. 
===Season Fourteen===
*Cicero wants to own a talking horse.
*Ashra's Charisma temporarily decreased to 11 because she tried to disguise herself
*One of Leilah's mundane weapons would have become mithril, but she doesn't own any.
*Every die of damage Galland rolled was a two. This actually happened.
*Ashra believed that "they" were out to get her until time undid the two. Then the belief wasn't because of a two any more.
*Faust woke up covered in grass.
*Galland's scent is soothing to hounds.
*The next time a party member did something stupid, Cicero would believe they were a child. It is still being debated whether Rostan has triggered this yet.
*Tamiko's teeth chatter when she faces north.
*Ashra can see evidence of the apocalypse everywhere which is only visible to her. It's because I memorize the lore, guys, not because I'm crazy. shut up xenteroth you're not my real dad 
*Cicero's left hand grabbed his right wrist.
*Nerdin's hair turned purple.
*Ashra's boots look very uncomfortable, but they are in fact very comfortable.
*A glabreezu learned Ashra's native language (Illithid/Qualith) through being hit with an Ego Whip, but died soon thereafter.
*One of Ashra's trail rations turned into 50 gp.
*The Littlest Nesferati Infantry was restored to full health when Rostan tried to kill it. D'aww.
*Nerdin got an enhancement bonus to strength for failing at Flame Strike.
*Leilah was time hopped for one round.
*Ashra has a duck on her head, under her hat. It is not her familiar. Leilah's chicken refuses to interact with it. Put it away.
*Nerdin's next attack hit himself. It was a crit. It dealt Con damage. He bloodied himself. We know that feel, bro.
*The bonus on Cicero's sword went up by one.
*The next time Icania died, his body would have turned to glass. Except he explodes when he dies. This happened the very next round.
*Fab Dick believed something horrible would happen.
*Faust checks his Wisdom every round or believes it's all pointless. This from praying to Boccob. 
*Leilah got a bad case of Athlete's Foot. She immediately stood in a cup of water and cast Sunburst. 
*Tamiko's apotheosis:
**Her boots turn to gloves
**Leilah (the nearest woman) is covered with a viscous liquid
**There is a hill giant above Tamiko
**Every full moon, Tamiko turns into herself
**Tamiko's head appears to be a single huge eye with horns
**Her weapon heated to 2828 degrees and immediately melted
**She thinks her reflection is plotting against her
**She is invisible except for her head, hands, and feet
**For one minute, her eye was invisible
**All oil and greek fire within 60 feet would have ignited, but instead...
**...The party was affected by timelessness for one week
**Tamiko became a god and was removed from play.
**She also became convinced her brain was at home in a jar.
**The hill giant she hit with her staff believed something awful was about to happen.
**Tamiko can't cast spells unless her hair is wet. 
**The next meal prepared by that hill giant will taste like liver. 
*Galland believes his allies are hiding his spellbook. This despite the fact he's a spontaneous caster...
*Galland also thinks his allies believe he is dead. 
*Ashra would think she was the subject of an elaborate conspiracy, but she already does, so she took Wis damage instead.
*Every time Leilah casts a spell, she changes her mind. To a different spell. 
===Season Fifteen===
*Everyone in the party gathered around and sang Kumbaya. Very. Resentful. Kumbaya.
*Every time Nerdin hurts someone, he apologizes.
*Galland had a "Kick Me" arcane mark on his back.
*Leilah wakes up every morning in a small crater.
*Icania thinks people think he's a murderer.
*Faust can't cast spells when it's snowing.
*Bandit Steve was teleported onto the Swiftest Thought and thus met the party.
*He then started phasing through the floor a bit and could walk through walls, but didn't. He was fine again in the morning. 
*The nearest star went supernova. This didn't end the campaign, as it was one of the stars in The Dark Lantern.
Category:Game Mechanics
Category:For the lulz