Transcripts 2001-09

Transcripts from September 2001 strips.
==September 3==
Panel 1Gates's body lies in the foreground, inverted from the prior comic with him. Tessa and Sticks are gawping at the sight.Tessa: Holy shit in a bucket! Is that who I think it is?Panel 2Adams looks down, looking annoyed.Adams: I know who it LOOKS like yes... The thing is do the crew aboard the Inglorious believe it really is Gates?Adams: If they do think it's him then I really shouldn't have killed the big bastard!Panel 3Close-up of Adams in the foreground, Cook standing some distance away in the background.Cook: Oh I don't know. I won't miss him, and I bet your girl in the armour is grateful too!Adams: Alive we could hold him hostage and trade him for my crewmembers. Dead... well we all know the think this piece of shit is like the Second Coming! Do you have any idea how pissed they are going to be at us for killing him?Panel 4Tessa looks to her left, scowling.Tessa: Shit he's right! How do we get out of here?Tessa: When they find ot he's dead they are going to get very trigger-happy and shaft us as soon as we leave the docks or start taking pot shots at the station!Panel 5Cook raises a hand, pointing hesitantly while looking into the camera.Cook: Well actually, I have an idea on how we might get away...Panel 6Tessa is in the cockpit of the Wildfire, wearing a flight helmet and looking backward over her shoulder in annoyance.Caption: Five minutes later, aboard the MayTec prototype the 'Wildfire'Tessa: Doc, have I mentioned how fucking insane your idea is?Off-panel (Cook): The "has that tie restricted the blood flow to your brian, you stupid dick-shit" comment was a hint yes.
==September 7==
Panel 1Cook is wearing specialised glasses and gloves while interacting with a 3D holographic GUI. The GUI features a green sphere with two bands crossing the sphere's diameter at right angles (as with the equator and prime meridian/International Date Line), which itself has several smaller green shapes floating around it. The tip shape has an arrow pointing to it with a "10K"(?) label, and the sphere has an arrow pointing to it with a "2.20" label.Cook: The chronosphere seems stable and all four reactors are charging well... We'll be ready to go in a few minutes!Off-panel (Tessa): So will this heap of shit work then?Panel 2Tessa sits in the pilot's seat and looks out at the E11.Off-panel (Cook): I've no idea! Well we know the theory is sound though. Are you sure you can fly this thing?Tessa: Sure I can! I've had hours of space time in Shrike fighters so this thing is a piece of piss!Panel 3Exterior view of the Wildfire's cockpit. Tessa is looking downward.Tessa (thinking): Actually I've never flown something this big or powerful before! To top it all it's a stick shift and I'm hopeless without an automatic gearbox!
==September 10==
Panel 1Adams is strapped into his seat with Tin-Head strapped into the seat to his left.Adams: A question doctor...Adams: If we are going to go back in time to before all of this happened and save the day etc... why haven't we seen ourselves already? Not only that but if we go back and save the day, then who is going to come back and save the day if the day has already been saved... I mean if we sort things out then why would be go back to fix what's already fixed...Panel 2Cook is tinkering with the 3D GUI. This time the camera is facing him, with the GUI between Cook and the camera. The GUI now shows the banded sphere surrounded by four rhombus shapes.Cook: Ah the age-old question of paradoxes! I wish I could give you a straight answer commander but I don't really know. There are three things that could happen here: The first is that we create an alternate dimension where none of this happens but this dimension remains as is. Second, the time line is fixed suggesting we fail to go back. Third, the time line can be changed and this literally never happens! You then spend the rest of your life trying to figure this stuff out and give yourself a terminal headache trying to think how X happened if Y killed their mother's budgie or whatever.
==September 17==
Panel 1Tessa is angrily shouting and looking back behind her.Tessa: Er, Doc' I hope you are ready to go now as the Anarchist ship just locked weapons onto us!Panel 2Cook is reaching dramatically out toward the 3D GUI as he turns to face Tessa, his tie swinging as he moves. Two additional bars appear over the GUI: "A" at 97 and "B" at 95. The four rhombus shapes are now red.Cook: Ignore it! They've most likely detected that I've just activated the chronosphere and are trying to spook us! They can't shoot us now without killing themselves! If this thing works we're home free!Panel 3Close-up of the Oracle.Oracle: Oh don't be too sure of that doctor... Fire when ready!
==September 21==
Panel 1Exterior view of the Inglorious, firing a laser beam at the E11 and Wildfire. The beam connects with the docking mechanism of the Wildfire.Panel 2Sticks shakes in his seat, panicking as he grasps his harness. Tin-Head's arm is partially visible in the panel.Sticks: AAAAHH! They're shooting at us! You said they wouldn't dare shoot at us!Panel 3Tessa angrily shouts over her shoulder.Tessa: They're not! They're shot a hole through the docking umbilicus! The jolt was just the tunnel decompressing!Tessa: We've lost the hydraulic pressure to the docking clamps so we can't leave the station for a while! That a problem Doc?Panel 4Cook stares blankly at the 3D GUI, which is now completely red.Off-panel (Tessa): Doc?Panel 5Tin-Head looks sadly at Sticks, on his left. Sticks returns the look.Tin-Head: Sticks, does breaking down sobbing mean that is a problem?Sticks: Yep!Tin-Head: Damn!
==September 24==
Panel 1Cook shouts at the GUI, raising his hand to it.Cook: SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Those smart arsed BASTARDS knew what they were doing by shooting out the docking clamps! They knew that we were about to leave and totally shafted us!Cook: While we are connected to the docking umbilicus we are tonnes overweight! That will throw all the damn trajectory calculations out by MILES! Oh God this thing will rip itself apart!Panel 2Tessa glares over her shoulder.Tessa: What's the big deal? Just turn it off while somebody uses a hand crank on the docking clamps!Panel 3Cook looks up, laughing.Cook: HA! Yeah, that's a good one! Unless you know a way to stop an artificial black hole from feeding from the reactors without it eating us instead, I'd REALLY like to hear it about now!Panel 4Close-up of the GUI, completely red. The rhombus shapes have closed in on the sphere, with a message overhead: "0:43 TO ACTIVATION"Off-panel (Cook): It takes a while to charge up so I started it early to get us out of here faster but I thought we would be able to get clear of the station...
Panel 5Tessa is looking up in astonishment.Off-panel (Cook): However it appears that the anarchists would rather chance a paradox then let us get away with this ship!Tessa: Yeah, they've pissed off! The Inglorious is gone and it's taken another lump out of the station with it! Looks like they wanted Gates' corpse!Panel 6Close-up of the message over the GUI: "0:06 TO ACTIVATION"Off-panel (Tessa): Well the time machine thing is a moot point now Doc! The station is about to split open like a banana and kill us all anyway!Off-panel (Tessa): Are you sure there's no way of getting this pile of shit to work for us Doc? Hell we're fucked whatever we do so try ANYTHING!Panel 7Exterior view of the E11, with the Wildfire docked. Some debris is floating near the upper area where the Anarchists had hit the station before.Unseen (Cook): Now you mention it...Panel 8A very large chunk of the E11 goes missing, along with the Wildfire. Large amounts of debris float away from the removed section of the station.
==September 28 (beginning of Year 4)== 
Panel 1Richard is sitting on the couch, staring into nothing, trying and failing to ignore the background noise: WhompaWhompaWhompaWhompaWhompaWhompaWhompaWhompaWhompa *CRASH!*Off-panel (Norman): ... HAHAHAHA! OW! That was cool!Panel 2Kingston walks up to Richard, who looks up at him with a tired expression.Richard: Okay, I'll bite! What the hell is Norman doing?Kingston: Riding down the stairs on a skateboard with a bucket on his head.Panel 3Richard angrily shouts in the opposite direction from Kingston.Richard: NORMAN! Remember the rule we made about you not watching Jeremy Clarkson after the 'potato bazooka' incident because he gave you ideas?Off-panel (Norman): Yeeeahh!Richard: Well the same rule applies to Johnny Knoxville as well!Off-panel (Norman): WHAT! God, I hospitalise you once...
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