White Phosphorous Summer

White Phosphorous Summer is the eighth episode of season five, and the fiftieth episode overall, of No Malarkey in Bikini Bottom. It premiered on August 5, 2021.
==Synopsis==
In an attempt to cling to power, Mr. Nethanyu launches a terrorist campaign against Palestine, with the support of Mr. Biden. 
==Story==
[The episode opens in Israel.]
Mr. Nethanyu: You know, I’m starting to get a bit nervous. These past few elections have been pretty close. I’m worried my days are numbered. 
Mr. Staffer: Well, maybe you shouldn’t have committed so many crimes. 
Mr. Nethanyu: Are you kidding?! Committing crimes is the Israeli way! Why, our great state was founded on a crime! 
Mr. Staffer: I’m not talking about war crimes! I’m talking about financial crimes! 
Mr. Nethanyu: Ah, I see. Well then it seems I only have one option. In order to save face I will have to unleash an unprecedented terrorist campaign! 
[Cut to occupied East Jerusalem. An IDF soldier marches up to a house, knocking on the door. It is opened by a Palestinian.] 
IDF Soldier: OUT! 
Palestinian: What? But why? 
IDF Soldier: We’re here to illegally kick all the Palestinians out of their homes, so we can give their stolen houses to Jews instead. NOW OUT! 
[Cut to the Krusty Krab, where Mr. Krabs can be seen selling shirts outside.]
Mr. Krabs: Alright, everyone! Get your Israel/Palestine merchandise! Get your Israel/Palestine merchandise! All profits will be donated to UNRWA, and by UNRWA, I mean my wallet! 
[Mr. Tentacles walks by.]
Mr. Tentacles: You’re seriously monetizing an ethnic cleansing? 
Mr. Krabs: Yep! Now, which shirt would ya like? 
[Mr. Tentacles glances down at the shirts. There is an assortment of BDS-branded t-shirts, along with ones labeled “I Stand With Israel”.] 
Mr. Tentacles: AND you’re selling shirts of both the victims and the perpetrators?!
Mr. Krabs: Is there a problem? 
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Krabs, that’s like selling both Jewish and neo-Nazi merchandise! 
Mr. Krabs: Oh, that reminds me. I still have some of these left. Want one? [holds up a “Camp Auschwitz” shirt] 
Mr. Tentacles: [gasps] Mr. Krabs! That’s low, even for you!
[Suddenly, Mr. Biden pops up]
Mr. Biden: You’re one to be talking, Jack! You just violated the IHRA definition of antisemitism! How dare you compare Israel to Nazi Germany! 
Mr. Tentacles: I think the comparison is quite appropriate, you know, considering in 2008 Israel’s defense minister literally said he wanted to commit a Holocaust against Palestinians in Gaza. 
Mr. Biden: Nope. There’s no excuse for your blatant display of antisemitism, Shylock! Now, uh, I’d like to purchase one of those Camp Auschwitz shirts. 
[cut to the House of Representatives] 
Ms. Ocasio-Cortez: Today I am introducing a resolution to block Mr. Biden’s arms sale to Israel. 
Mr. Pineapple: [from the back] Pft, what a sell-out! That’s a milquetoast half-measure! A TRUE socialist would introduce a resolution to redirect the arms sale to Hamas! 
[Cut to BBTV Studios.]
Mr. Chillyrooster: To debate the resolution to block Mr. Biden’s arms sale, we’re bringing in Democratic representative Ro Khanna and Republican commentator Geraldo Rivera. Mr. Khanna, what do you have to say about the resolution? 
Mr. Khanna: I fully oppose it. 
Mr. Chillyrooster: WHAT?! This is very surprising to hear from you. I mean, you’ve repeatedly called for blocking arms sales to Saudi Arabia because of its human rights abuses in Yemen, yet you oppose blocking arms sales to Israel despite what’s happening in Palestine?
Mr. Khanna: You see, the difference is that Israel has a startup culture while Saudi Arabia doesn’t. I’m Silicon Valley’s congressman. Places with startups need to stick together.
Mr. Chillyrooster: Well, shit, we only brought you here to debate a Republican, since we assumed you'd be principled on this. So Mr. Rivera, do you agree with Mr. Khanna?
Mr. Rivera: Absolutely not. All these arms Biden’s handing over will be used to slaughter the Palestinian people. Mr. Khanna, you should be ashamed of yourself for your complicity.
Mr. Khanna: Hey, I said I support end-use restrictions on any U.S. foreign assistance so it is not used to violate the Leahy Law or human rights.
Mr. Rivera: Are you kidding me? Israel has violated both of those things countless times!
Mr. Chillyrooster: Wait a minute, what’s going on here?! Is this a prank?! Ro, you’re the progressive! Geraldo, you’re the conservative! ACT LIKE IT!
Mr. Khanna and Mr. Rivera: Nope.
[Cut to the United Nations. A crowd of world leaders walk over to Mr. Biden.] 
World Leaders: Mr. President, we’d like to pass a resolution calling for a ceasefire between Is-
Mr. Biden: Nope.
[Cut to a 13-story building in Gaza. Suddenly it is blown up.] 
World Leader: Mr. Biden, Israel just blew up a 13-story building. Can we please pass a resolution calling for a cea-
Mr. Biden: Nope. I mean, come on, Jack! Israel gave them two minutes notice first! 
[Cut to Hell, where Mr. Laden is watching the UN meeting.] 
Mr. Laden: So you mean to tell *that’s* all I had to do to avoid being illegally assassinated? Goddamnit! 
Mr. Pineapple: Don’t worry, Mr. Laden! We always have next time! 
[Cut back to the UN meeting.]
World Leader: Mr. Biden, please-
Mr. Biden: Listen, Jack, Israel has a right to defend itself! 
[Cut to Palestine. An IDF soldier can be soon blowing out the brains of several Palestinian children. Cut to Mr. Perkins.] 
Mr. Perkins: This just in, we are getting reports that Israel has bombed several civilian buildings, including apartments, schools, and hospitals. But I’m sure that they had a good reason for it - Hamas must have had fighters in all those buildings! 
[Suddenly Israel blows up the BBTV building.] 
IDF Soldier: Hamas was in there.
Mr. Perkins: Well thank Neptune you came then! How lucky we are to have had you obliterate our news building! 
[Cut to Mr. Pepperchicken, who can be seen sitting outside the steps of his apartment. He is visibly distressed.] 
Mr. Pineapple: Hey Tim! You look down! What’s wrong? 
Mr. Pepperchicken: I’m having an identity crisis! 
Mr. Pineapple: You’re- 
Mr. Pepperchicken: NO, I’M NOT GAY! 
Mr. Pineapple: …I wasn’t going to say anything about you being gay. 
Mr. Pepperchicken: Travis, I don’t know what to do! There’s currently a genocide going on, and I love genocide! 
Mr. Pineapple: So what’s the problem? 
Mr. Pepperchicken: It’s being committed by…JEWS! What am I as a young Nazi supposed to do?! 
Mr. Pineapple: Hm…as a fellow socialist, I have to admit, that *is* a tough one. I guess you just have to look deep into your heart to see which ethnic minority you hate more.
[Suddenly Mr. Pepperchicken stands up.]
Mr. Pepperchicken: I've got it! 
Mr. Pineapple: What is it? 
Mr. Pepperchicken: We support Israel now. We get all the Jews in Bikini Bottom to move to Israel, then Jesus Sandal makes his great return, and sends all the Jews to Hell! 
[Cut to Mr. Nethanyu, who is addressing the Israeli public.] 
Mr. Nethanyu: It is now my honor to introduce some very special guests, two great friends of the Jewish people. 
[Mr. Spencer and Mr. Pepperchicken walk out.] 
Mr. Nethanyu: These special guests join us today for a very special announcement. We shall be committing to a ceasefire. 
[The crowd boos.]
Mr. Nethanyu: Haha, I'm just kidding! We're going to bomb some more Palestinian children! 
[The crowd cheers.]
[As hellfire rains down on Gaza, Mr. Biden and Mrs. Harris watch the scene on TV.]
Mrs. Harris: Ah, the only democracy in the Middle East. You know, I hear they have the most moral army in the world.
[The episode ends.]