The Way He Is Still With Me

== Chapter 1 ==
I try to breathe when I hear those words. 
"Finnick is dead." I repeat it over and over and put my hands over my ears. They death call of my partner, Finnick, and Mags. I feel the stream of tears wiping my face clean. Finnick is the only one that pulled my out of my dark hole called my life. He made me feel normal. I look at the last thing he gave me, his rope. He braided it like he did with my hair, always placing a shell in my hand. He knows I am here, but what can I do without him?
"He died," I say to the air. That day droned by, the sunset the green of his eyes. I feel his touch of his fingertips, the way his smile crooked up one way and not the other. 
"Finnick," I say grasping to my window. "Are you there?" I say, seeing my ragged self in the window. My hair is tangled, my eyes are moving everywhere, my head twitching. Is this how I used to be? It can't. I pull out my hand, touching the glass as if it was a portal to my Finnick. He doesn't appear. I know he is gone, getting buried in the sea, where he saved me from that water. His breath still says I love you. I know he is screaming and yelling for leaving me. I am too.
That gleam in my eye, the tears streaming down my face. The salty taste of the ocean we shared. He was the one I loved. Without a doubt. That cake, the dress, the wedding ceremony. When was that? I don't remember. The way he almost kissed me before we were done. How he danced like there was tomorrow. There wasn't really for either of us. I try to breathe again, only this time it comes out in puffs of air. 
"Don't worry," I say to my son. "He is still with us." 
"How?" He will ask. 
"In our hearts," I will tell him poking his little chest and he giggles, only, I wipe the tears from my eyes.
== Chapter 2 ==
Those days go on and on, with no end. I can't sleep at night. My chest hurts everyday. Charles, the name Finnick wanted to be his middle name, thrusts and tears my skin. Until that day, the day it all happened, he decided to come.
The sunshine of my face just seeing Finnick Charles made me want to cry. He is just like Finnick, his nose, his big green eyes, his shaggy blonde hair. He thrusts his weight on my finger and I laugh. It seems like decades ago I was happy.
He feels everything he touches- my mouth, nose, and hair. He smiles and lays down, falling him into a deep sleep. I thrust my body up, seeing Katniss' mother wrapping him up for me. She cradles him and puts him back into my arms. The tears in my eyes make me blind, he will never see his father. 
"You will be a wonderful boy," I say. I will take you by the sea, and you will splash and laugh with me. But he can't understand a word I am saying. Suddenly, as if it was torture I here him screaming. I lay him down, and I put my hands over my ears again. 
"He is OK," Finnick would have said.
Little Finnick Charles loves seeing people. He laughs and claps his hands. He waves his little toes. Finnick used to do that when he saved me from that water. I pull Finnick Charles's hair back and smile and act like I am happy. I am, but those years of waiting for Finnick, coming by with a shell ring, asking me the question. Those days are over, I will never see him again. 
I will never find love, I will never see that wonderful man I loved. He got killed by what? Coin never told me. As suddenly by alarm, I pull Coin off to the side. 
"How did Finnick die?" I ask, a nasty snarl in my voice. 
"That is classified." She exclaims. 
"Tell me now!" I yell. 
"By Snow's mutts, of course, they bit his head like that!" She snaps. My mouth dry and my hands tremble, remember to breathe...
== Chapter 3 ==
It seems too fast, seeing him grow up. I moved back to District 4, and Finnick Charles still loves people. 
"When is Katniss coming?" he always asks. Katniss comes by with her kids to play with Finnick Charles and check up on her mother. Finnick Charles always looks forward to see Ivory and Salem, come running and they all fall into a heap and me and Katniss laugh. 
"Tomorrow," I say, knowing he will be happy to have someone to play with.
Ivory comes rushing down the hill her two braids flying, and laughs. She brought a paper and a pencil, for she loves to draw. 
"What are you drawing today?" Finnick asks. 
"The sea," She announces. 
"I wanna get it perfect." Her brother comes down the hill and rushes to Finnick and falling. Ivory laughs. Salem just laughs and carries on. 
"What are you doing?" Salem asks. 
"Tying this rope," he says. He undoes it and starts back over again. 
"Just like your father," Katniss says. "He was a hero you know." 
"How?" They ask a chorus of tiny voices. 
"He fought bravely, loved you so much, he loved Annie so much..." I start to cry, I run over to my beach house hands over ears, returning to my black hole.
Category:Hunger Games Fanfictions
Category:Completed