Chapter 4: Teenage Dirtbag

Chapter 4: "Teenage Dirtbag" is the fourth chapter of Dead Space 2: Break-Fast: Squat to the Top.
==Description==
Surrounded by Necromorphs, Josh must find a way to escape from the locker room as the Janitorminator unleashes a new and terrifying force.
==Story==
: The Janitorminator sways its snake-like body backward, its host's original spine heard snapping and violently contorting inside the mass of pale, olive green flesh. The large creature then swings its body back up and slams it down toward Josh, its skeletal face bellowing as it prepares to headbutt him.
Josh: "Ahhhhh! Shit!"
: Josh quickly rolls out of the path of the Janitorminator and evades the hit. He stands up and stares at the legless monster, the bottom-half of its body contained in a tall, mop bucket. Josh looks up and squint-stares at the creature's face, thinking he spots a familiarity with it.
Josh: "Janitor Chroug? Is that you?"
: The Janitorminator remains motionless and gives Josh a blank stare as it growls for a few seconds.
Josh: "Your bucket has wheels, but you don't have any arms to push yourself around, do you?! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Lawl! You're a retarded Cripplemorph! Where's your handicap placard?! Need me to give you a hand?! XD
: Just then, the Janitorminator lets out a loud "roar" as two massive arms emerge from the creature's amorphous mass of shoulders with another set of Brute-arms tearing through the creature's chest and back. The Janitorminator then hunches over as a bellowing Brute-head slowly creeps out from the back of the creature's neck, giving the Janitorminator a menacing four-armed and two-headed body.
Josh: O_O
: The Janitorminator now places all four of its arms on the floor of the locker room and raises its quadrupedal body away from the floor.
Josh: "Maybe I should stop using the word 'retard.' Will you forgive me?"
: The Janitorminator twists its body, evenly aligning all of arms, and positions its body horizontally with its head facing Josh and its bucket-contained tail end sticking out from the creature's other end.
Josh: <:0
: Next, the Janitorminator's body begins to quiver as the host's enlarged legs protrude from below the host's mutated arms, giving it the look of a centaur.
Josh: <:/
: Finally, the Janitorminator moans and a pair of black Brute-legs sprout out from below the creature's Brute-arms and just above the mop bucket, now giving it the appearance of a large, green tarantula.
Josh: D:>
: For one last conversion, the Janitorminator partially curls into a ball as a pair of enormously-swollen black lungs splatter out from the creature's back, causing it to howl with fervor as it forcefully levitates into the air with a deep, powerful breath. The Janitorminator's lungs inhale and absorb a large amount of the poisonous cloud of gas, clearing up the air around it, and allowing Josh to inspect every gruesome detail of the immense creature before him.
Josh: "Are you forking cereal?" -_-
: Taking a good look at the creature's four black limbs and secondary head, Josh begins to recognize them.
Josh: "Hey, you must have taken that Brute's body and absorbed it! I was wondering where it went!"
: The Janitorminator exhales and descends to the floor, standing up on its four hind-appendages, readying for a charge on Josh whom slowly steps backward before gradually breaking into a full-on run. He can hear the creature charging after him, trampling over helpless Wheezers and knocking over a few lockers out of its path. Wandering further into the fog of toxic gas, Josh finds he has run himself into a corner, but as he turns around the Janitorminator is already blocking his path.
Josh: "Shit! All this gas! I must have turned off the ventilation when I shut off the quarantine, and it's too late to turn it back on!"
: The Janitorminator then inhales more of the toxic gas with its massive lungs as a large, bladder-like organ erupts from behind the creature's Brute-head, the new organ beating and growing with every breath the creature takes, which also clears more of the surrounding air around Josh and the creature.
Josh: "I don't get it... If those things smog up the air, then what's the point of you cleaning it up?!"
: The Janitorminator simply squeals in response, and a subsequent flurry of bat-like shrieks is heard coming from the vents above.
Josh: "What the hell was that...? What is that?! What's coming?!"
: Several vents burst open from above as countless flocks of flying creatures dive into the room, filling the ceiling-space with their physical volume and producing a resounding, piercing screech. With all the commotion, Josh manages to escape below the Janitorminator while he waves off attacking Flyers, feeling their sharp tails slashing at his skin. He turns around and fires a Pulse Grenade into a flock of Flyers, instantly destroying them with a single blast. The Janitorminator faces Josh, stands up, and reveals a large cavity opening from its belly. It then launches a pod at Josh, but he catches it with Kinesis and sends it flying toward another group of Flyers and detonates them in the process.
Josh: "I can't kill them all... I need to find a way out of here! Fast!"
: Josh hears the Janitorminator take in another deep breath and witnesses it gallop into a running charge as it propels itself into the air and uses its powerful Brute-arms to pull itself forward and give it more momentum, launching its enormous frame straight toward Josh, and destroying several rows of lockers as it closes in on him.
Josh: "HOLY SHIT!"
: Coming at him like a torpedo, Josh jumps and dives into the shower pit just as the Janitorminator crashes into a wall, creating a large, impact crater.
Josh: "Fuck! Just fuck off, will ya?!"
: Seemingly disoriented from its impact, Josh takes this time to run to the other end of the shower pit, dodging Flyers and stepping around Wheezers along the way. Evading numerous Necromorphs in his path, he takes note of five seemingly uninfected corpses—positioned in a pentagram formation—that are all lying on their backs with their heads twisted backwards and facing the floor. He finally finds a bench, squats down, and hides beneath it to shelter himself from the attacks of the Flyers. Immediately afterward, the Janitorminator howls, and as if commanded, every other Necromorph in the room ceases to do anything. The room slowly quiets to a deafening silence.
: Suddenly, all of the showers "whistle" to life with blazing-hot water, startling Josh and causing him to squeal and to hit his head on the ceiling of the bench. Realizing he has given away his position, Josh crawls out from underneath the bench, holsters his weapon, and aimlessly wanders around the pit as it quickly fills up with water. He must carefully feel his way around for the shower pit soon fills up with a thick, fog of steam.
: The Janitorminator howls again, and the Necromorph activity resumes; Flyers shriek and fly about the room, and Wheezers continue to produce clouds of poison gas. With the water now up to his knees, Josh wades through the water as his leg is grabbed by a submerged creature.
Josh: "Aghhh! Sharks!" D:
: Four mutated heads float to the surface of the water and raise their elongated necks above the water—each one inspecting Josh before one of them grabs his free leg and two more grab his arms and wrap them around his waist.
Josh: "Dude! What the fork?! I can't move! Let go!"
: The final Grabber, it's skin a midnight shade of black and its eyes glowing green, stares at Josh as a long, spear-tipped spine slowly rises out of the water from the Grabber's neck and is placed with the tip of the spear poking against Josh's forehead—right between his eyes. The remaining Grabber's each reveal their spines and point them against Josh's chest; back; and both sides, threatening to pierce through his skin if he chooses to struggle. The Enhanced Grabber reveals another serrated-spine before it tightly wraps its head around Josh's neck, partially cutting off his already dwindling air supply. It then places its second spear against Josh's throat and slowly runs it up his neck and up to his chin, pointing it up toward his brain—the same method a man would use as his hopeless escape route in a time of great despair.
: Believing his death is imminent, Josh hopelessly looks up to the ceiling and is barely able to whimper his final sentence, as the quintet of Grabber's has him fully constricted.
Josh: "I never thought it would end this way, but I'm ready now..."
: The Grabbers begin to squeeze Josh with more pressure and pierce his skin with their blades, but immediately release him as the Janitorminator howls another command, and they retreat back under the surface of the water. Left standing in a daze, Josh slowly drifts out of shock as vibrations are felt reverberating through the water. The steam and toxic gas are sucked into a vortex produced by the Janitorminator's inhaling lungs, and the creature is revealed to be standing in the water face-to-face with Josh. He trembles as two tentacles extend from the Janitorminator's bladder-like organ atop its neck, and the tips of them open to reveal deep cavities. One of the tentacles fires a liquid from its cavity and hits a Wheezer to the left of Josh, covering it in an acidic fluid that completely dissolves the defenseless creature.
Josh: "You like to play with your food, eh?"
: Josh then darts away from the massive Janitorminator, but his legs are grabbed by a pair of Grabbers, causing him to trip and fall below the water's surface. With his diving mask useless in this situation, Josh pulls out his Pulse Rifle and fires on one of the attacking Grabbers, severing its head and spine from its body. Unable to reload his weapon underwater, Josh desperately melees the Enhanced Grabber, damaging one of its spines in the process and tearing its neck from its body, so it releases its hold on him with its spines. He then swims to the edge of the pit and climbs up onto the surface of the locker room's tile floor.
: With the Enhanced Grabber's head still attached to Josh, its long neck wrapped around his leg, he removes it to find that it is still alive.
Josh: "Holy cereal!"
: Spotting an incoming murder of Flyers just inches away, Josh reacts on pure instinct and tosses the Enhanced Grabber's head into the air, grabs its dangling neck and swings it around in a circle above his head, as if it were a lasso.
Josh: "Welcome to the rodeo, boys!"
: He swings his improvised flail around with greater speed as the shrieks of the fast-approaching Flyers become louder and echo off the walls. One-by-one, the Flyers are eviscerated by the impact of the Grabber's split-jaw, completely dismembering their wings and tails from their bodies, and turning their bodies into mush.
Josh: "My Necroflail swats all the Flyers out the air, and they're like, 'BEOIRHEWHAWESOME19VMHGCM$CDJIOFR?!' " XD
: The Janitorminator then inflates its lungs and flies over to Josh, as if he angered it by killing more Flyers, and it lands with a hard "thud" that knocks Josh onto his back, and then it opens its host's mouth wide and whips out its tongue, the wooden end of a mop fused with the tip of the creature's tongue. It uses its mop-tongue to repeatedly whack Josh in the face, but it's not very effective.
Josh: "Gaahhh! Stop whacking me off! Waahhhhh!" DX
: Retracting its tongue, the Janitorminator takes in a large breath, sucking in every last bit of the green cloud of toxic gas. Josh is finally able to see the entire locker room in full detail, but it is not as he remembers it just hours before. Blood and remnants of clothes cover the floor; entire rows of lockers are knocked over, destroyed, and stained with bloody handprints; water floods much of the room; and a fleshy-growth covers the floor, walls and ceiling. In its present state, the locker room closely resembles a swamp more than anything.
: Resuming its assault on Josh, the Janitorminator extends its tongue and slams it toward Josh, but it misses and strikes the floor beneath his armpit, nearly impaling him through the chest. With its tongue now stuck in the floor, Josh stands up and mocks the angry beast.
Josh: "Nanananananah! Cat got your tongue?! Whatcha gonna do now, bitch?!" XP
: Infuriated, the Janitorminator yanks its tongue back into its mouth and bows its head down, revealing its massive lungs. It sucks in all of the newly-produced toxic gas in the room, and the bladder-like organ between the creature's lungs and secondary-head writhes and swells as stored toxic-gas is pumped to it from the Janitorminator's lungs. The Janitorminator then raises its tentacles as it releases a thick stream of deep, violet-black gas into the air, continuously pumping it into every corner of the room. Josh observes as the remaining Flyers and Wheezers in the room inhale the new gas with their visible lungs.
: Josh notices that the gas has a strange effect on the Wheezers; their skin begins to turn black as the bonds that fuse their limbs together are eliminated, allowing them to freely move their limbs and stand up as if it is a completely unfamiliar feeling. As the lights begin to flicker on-and-off, the newly-mobile Enhanced Wheezers' eyes glow a bright shade of yellow. Josh observes the same changes in the Flyers; their skin turns black and their eyes shine even brighter as their lungs absorb and process the gas as well.
: With their arms outstretched in front of them and their lungs still producing gas, the Enhanced Wheezers slowly stumble towards Josh from all directions. He uses his flail to kill two of the Wheezers that ventured too close to him, and he also swats a few Enhanced Flyers out of the air, but he chooses to drop the Grabber's head and instead pulls out his Pulse Rifle. Gunning down more of the Enhanced Necromorphs, Josh becomes overwhelmed as the Janitorminator and its minions close in on him.
Josh: "No way this creepy shit is real! I must be hallucinating again! Please, I hope this is all in my head!"
: However, the situation proves to be all-too-real as a Wheezer grabs Josh's arm and attempts to bite him, but Josh shoves it back and knocks it into a crowd of its fellow Wheezers, causing them to slip on the wet floor and fall all over each other. As they clumsily rise and stumble to their feet, Josh glances over his shoulder and spots a small and shiny, indigo-colored ball floating on the surface of the shallow water and past a group of Wheezers.
Josh: "Is that what I think it is...? That! I need that!"
: Evading the approaching Necromorphs, Josh runs and dives into a cluster of six Wheezers, knocking them over without effort. He gets up and stares down at the fallen Wheezers, inspecting the team numbers on their tattered, Z-Ball uniforms: 4; 8; 15; 16; 23; and 42. He then squats down and grabs the metallic orb and glances at it with wonder, the beautiful orb cradled in his hands, obviously crafted by an intellectual in his own solitude.
: Josh is able to recognize the great care and attention to detail that the orb's creator put into this device, the letters "N.P." carefully inscribed on the top half of the ball's surface. He runs his thumb over the mysterious inscriptions, believing them to be the initials of its crafter, admiring the neatness of the small-yet-meaningful carvings of hope. Josh tosses the ball in the air and catches it with his other hand, amazed with his newfound luck.
Josh: "The Z-Ball team? Was this yours? Did you guys find it too? Well, it's too late for you to use this, but it's not too late for me, and I know exactly how to use this Stasis Bomb!"
: Josh tosses the Stasis Bomb in the air again and shoots it with Stasis, drastically reducing its movement speed as he grabs it with Kinesis and launches it at the floor in the direction of the large group of Necromorphs.
Josh: "Torment me no more!"
: As the orb slowly travels to its destination, Josh runs in the opposite direction, opens an unlocked locker and stuffs himself inside, tightly slamming it shut with a loud "clang." He peeks out of the slits in the door and watches as the Stasis Bomb slips out of Stasis and flies toward the charging crowd of Necromorphs.
: As the orb hits the floor, it splits open into two halves as it releases a brilliant flash of indigo light that emanates from the bottom-half of the orb and illuminates the entire locker room. Every exposed Necromorph in the room is frozen in place as they are engulfed by Stasis Energy. As the Stasis Energy finishes dispersing from the orb, Josh exits from the locker now that the Necromorphs are safely trapped in a complete temporal-lockdown. He walks closer to the motionless creatures and closely observes them for any sign of movement.
Josh: "Wow, I've never seen Stasis last this long before..."
: Josh kneels down and picks up the orb, taking another thoughtful look at the engraving. He inspects it to find it has been depleted of all of its energy, so he closes it tight. Grateful for the gift that saved his life, he carefully stows it in a pocket in his bag.
Josh: "Thank you, whoever you are...or were."
: Now navigating through gaps between the Necromorphs, Josh hurries to make it to the other end of the locker room. He finally reaches the door, exits the locker room and walks into a small room that connects both locker rooms. He knocks on the locked door of the Girls' Locker Room and listens for a response.
Noelle: "Josh?! Is that you?"
Josh: "Noelle! Yeah, it's me! I made it!"
Noelle: "That's great, but we can't open the door!"
Kote: "You're gonna have to hack it, Josh!"
Josh: "No problem, I'm just glad I finally have something easy to do!"
Jamie: "Just open it, you little douchebag!"
Josh: "Asswipe..."
Jamie: "What did you say?!"
Josh: "I said, 'That's right!"
Jamie: "Oh... Wait, huh?" <:/
: Josh unlocks the door with ease and as the door opens, he is greeted by a smiling Noelle whom gives him a tight hug before quickly letting go and grabbing Jamie's hand.
Noelle: "You're soaking wet, Josh. What happened to you?"
Kote: "Yeah, what took you so long?!"
Josh: "I went for a swim." -_-
Noelle: "Is that why you're wearing that ridiculous mask?"
Josh: "Not exactly."
Kote: "Is that a sock?"
Josh: "Yeah, I stuck it over my tube."
Jamie: "I'm sure you do that a lot..."
Josh: "...To help me breathe." -_-
: Josh pulls off his mask and tosses it on the floor.
Josh: "Don't think I'll be needing this anymore, but maybe someone else will..."
Noelle: "I'm just glad that you made it back to m—...us. We were getting worried about you."
: Jamie raises his hand to his mouth and gives a fake cough as he mutters something under his breath.
Jamie: "Not all of us..."
: Jamie walks away and Dave walks over to the group."
Kote: "Whatever, let's just leave."
Dave: "I second that notion."
Noelle: "Hold on! We have to wait for Jim and Dick!"
Josh: "Oh yeah..."
: Jamie quickly rejoins the group, carrying a large, unconscious Dick on his shoulders.
Josh: "I see your hands are full of Dick right now. Is Dick too heavy for you?"
Jamie: "No, but I had to squeeze Dick pretty hard a bunch of times to get a good grip on him."
Josh: "Ah..."
Jamie: "Dick even rubbed against the back of my neck a few times; he's pretty squirmy."
Josh: "You don't say."
Jamie: "Maybe you can take a turn carrying Dick if I need a break, but be careful—if you rock him too hard, he'll drip all over you; it got all over my face when I was carrying Dick over here before you came."
Josh: "Eh?"
Jamie: "Yeah, Dick got my face pretty sticky."
Kote: "Dude..."
Josh: "Did you wipe it off your face?"
Jamie: "I wiped it back onto Dick."
Josh: "Did Dick also get it in your mouth?"
Kote: O_o
Jamie: "Yeah, but I'm used to it. It happens just about every time I hang with Dick."
Josh: "Ah, I see. Well, I think you should carry Dick for the rest of the way. You look pretty comfortable having Dick on your shoulders."
Jamie: "Fuck, I love feeling Dick against my body! Dick is so hot!"
Josh: "What did you just say?"
Jamie: "Uh, I said, 'Fuck, I think I owe Dick a lot of money! But I hope not!"
Josh: "Oh, okay."
Jamie: <:/
Josh: :}
Kote: :o
Josh: "And I was starting to think that Jamie was as oblivious as fuck!" XD
Jamie: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
Josh: "I said, 'And I was starting to think that Jamie was as oblivious as fuck!' " XD
Jamie: "Oh..."
Josh: "I've always wondered if that would work..." /:
Kote: :O
Jamie: "Me too."
Josh: Facepalm. -‾-
Noelle: "Sigh..." -_-
Jamie: "Noelle, do you think Dick is starting to look better?"
Noelle: "I don't know. He's been unconscious for a while, but I think that's for the best."
Dave: "Had enough chit-chat, people?"
Kote: "Seriously, let's bounce."
Josh: "Right, I just wanna ditch this place forever. Come on, guys, we need to go through the Boys' Locker Room and head back to the Gym. Then we can finally get out of here."
Noelle: "But I heard a lot of noise coming from in there while you were gone. What happened in there?"
Josh: "Uhhh... You'll find out, but don't worry; it's safe now."
Noelle: "If only things would stay that way..."
Josh: "We just have to keep pushing on to come into the Gym."
Jamie: "Hey, that's what I said to Dick one time."
Josh: "I meant to say that we have to 'go into the Gym.' "
Jamie: "Same thing."
Josh: "Uhhhh..."
Jamie: "Don't worry, babe. As long as you stick with me, you'll be fine."
Noelle: "Thanks, Jim."
Josh: "I think he was talking to Dick."
Noelle: "Were you, Jim?"
Jamie: "Um... Haha! No... I was talking to you, Noelle..."
Noelle: "Just show us the way already, Josh." -_-
Josh: "Right this way."
: The group of six finally exits the Girls' Locker Room and passes through the small room to the adjacent Boys' Locker Room. Upon entering the Necromorph-infested locker room, they find that all of the Necromorphs are aglow and frozen like statues, but Josh is the only one who knows they are under Stasis.
Noelle: "Oh my God! Look at all of them!" D:>
Jamie: "Shit! We can't go through here!"
Dick: "Huh? What's going on...?"
Dave: "Is this even safe?"
Josh: "It's alright, they can't hurt us."
Kote: "What the fork did you do to them?"
Josh: "I put them under Stasis, but I don't know how much longer it will last."
Kote: "Didn't you say you only had one shot left?"
Josh: "I got lucky." ;)
Kote: "Oh..."
Josh: "Alright, we have to get to the other end of the room quickly."
Kote: "Can't we just cut past by going through the shower pit?"
Josh: "I'd stay out of the water if I were you. It's safer if we just go through the crowd."
Noelle: "Are you sure? I don't like the looks of the big one. What if they start moving? "
Josh: "They won't; as long as we hurry, we'll make it through with no problem. Trust me."
Noelle: "Alright."
Jamie: "And if they touch her, you're dead, Childress."
: Unable to take Jamie seriously anymore due to his stupidity, Josh simply rolls his eyes in response.
Dave: "This should be interesting."
: The gang hurriedly steps through the crowd of Necromorphs, careful not to make physical contact with the mutated creatures.
Noelle: "What are those things up there?"
Josh: "Ignore them."
Noelle: "They have wings... Oh God, how are we supposed to stay safe if those things can fly?!"
Josh: "We're safe as long as they're still frozen."
Kote: "Yeah, no need to get scared."
Noelle: "Right."
: The group makes it out of the crowd and rushes to the door, entering into the Gymnasium once again. With relief, they start walking to the other end of the Gym, heading for the locked exit.
Noelle: "Is this it? Are we really gonna make it out of here?"
: Josh laughs and points at the door.
Josh: "All I have to do is hack that door, and we're home-free."
Noelle: "Well, what are you waiting for?"
Dave: "Do you really think any one of us has a home to go back to?"
Josh: "I can hope. Isn't that right, Noelle?" ;)
Noelle: "Hahah! Hope is good enough for me!" :D
Kote: "I hear ya!"
Josh: "Alright! Things are looking up!" <:)
: Just as he approaches the marked center of the Gym, Josh hears the sound of something "tearing" high above his head.
Josh: "What is that? Do you hear that?"
Noelle: "Hear what?"
: Hearing a loud "snap," Josh looks up to the dim ceiling, squinting as he spots a sparkling object quickly "whooshing" down toward him.
Josh: "Fucking Eh..." -_-
: The object collides with Josh's face, knocking him onto his back.
Josh: X_x
Noelle: "Josh!" <:O
Kote: "Whoa! He okay?"
Noelle: "I don't know... Josh? Can you hear me? Are you okay?"
: As Noelle leans over Josh, his vision slowly blurs and fades to darkness as a song begins to play from his RIG.
: The scene transitions to Josh riding his bike into the large terminal of Titan Station High School's Transit Hub. He stops pedaling and hops off his bike to retrieve his bike lock from his backpack after leaning his bike on its kickstand. As he clumsily rummages through his pack, he waves to a passing Kote whom is on his way into the school. Josh finally finds his lock, but his bike is hit and run over by Jamie's vehicle as he stops to park.
Josh: <:/
: Out of the vehicle steps Noelle and Jamie, and Josh stares at Noelle as she and Jamie walk into the school. Josh suddenly snaps back into reality as he remembers he has Gym class in half an hour, remembering how Noelle rocked in her Keds and tube socks yesterday morning during Gym class as they played basketball, Noelle completely ignoring his pleas for her to pass him the ball.
Josh: "I'm open, Noelle!"
Noelle: "Who are you?"
Josh: "What the fork?! It's me, it's Josh!"
Noelle: "Ew! Move over, you teenage dirtbag!"
Josh: >:0
Noelle: >:P
: Josh angrily storms off the court and slouches over to the bleachers, plopping down and putting on his headphones, and then he grumpily crosses his arms while he listens to music by his lonesome and secretly wishes Noelle would listen to Iron Maiden with him.
Josh: :'(
: Now walking down the hallways, Josh looks over to Tim and Dick as they laugh at him and put their hands to their foreheads, both forming an "L" for "loser," but Josh shrugs them off and continues walking past them. Noticing Noelle walking toward him up ahead, Josh slows down as Noelle begins to sultrily smile in his direction.
Noelle: ;)
: Josh looks behind him, but doesn't spot anyone Noelle would be smiling at, so he bashfully smiles back after seeing Noelle giggle and grin.
Noelle: :D
Josh: :}
: Despite fearing Jamie after he aimed his Arc Welder at Josh in Engineering class a week prior, Josh keeps walking toward Noelle even though he knows Jamie will kick his ass if he finds out—since Jamie is Josh's neighbor at Titan Heights. Suddenly, Josh is knocked into a locker and down on his belly as Jamie hits him from behind with his IROC-RTV.
: Shocked, Josh looks up as everyone steps over him, and he watches Noelle ride away with Jamie after she hops onto his ride, further pissing off Josh. Not giving a damn about what he just did to Josh, Jamie looks back and flips off Josh.
Jamie: >:D
Josh: DX<
: Wanting to help out his friend, Kote walks over to Josh and extends his hand to pick him up.
Josh: "Thanks..."
Kote: "No prob."
Josh: "I hate that fucking asshole! Let's fuck him up!"
Kote: "Nah, we'll get him later."
Josh: "Whatever, dude! I'mma hang out by myself!"
: Josh shoves Kote aside and heads outside to eat lunch by himself.
Kote: "Just cool down, man!"
: Sitting at a lunch table in the artificial courtyard under a billboard reading "LOSER," Josh eats lunch while reading his book, "What Lies in the Heart?" He then looks up and glances over to Jamie who's hanging out with Noelle, Tim, and Dick. Jamie looks at Josh and smiles and Josh waves to him, but then Dick throws a sandwich at Josh—causing Dick, Tim, and Jamie to laugh at Josh. Noelle is angered by this, so she scowls at Jamie and walks away, and Josh sadly looks on as Noelle leaves the courtyard and Kote approaches the table.
Kote: "Dude, forget her."
Josh: "She doesn't know what she's missing..."
Kote: "That's right. Now let's get to class."
: A shiny disco ball coming into view, the scene transitions to prom night, with Josh moping at a table with Kote, Marcy, Laura, and Dave. Confused, the dateless Josh looks up as Noelle—in a red dress—meets his gaze, and slowly walks toward his table. Not believing his eyes, Josh's lip begins to tremble.
Kote: "Dude, it's Noelle..."
Josh: "But how does she know who I am...? And why does she give a damn about—?"
Noelle: "I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby. Come with me Friday, don't say 'maybe.' I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you."
Josh: :D
Noelle: :)
Josh: "That's pretty legit! Get over here, you teenage dirtbag!"
: With Noelle showing her Iron Maiden tickets to Josh as she approaches him, Josh stands up from his seat and takes Noelle's hand as they go off to dance.
Josh: :o]
Noelle: >:]
Josh: D:>
Noelle: †_†
Josh: !_!
Noelle: #_#
Josh: 8|
Noelle: ',..,'
Josh: (o,..,o)
Noelle: :P
Josh: "LAWL!!!"
Noelle: "RAWFULL!"
Josh and Noelle: "Waffles!" <:D
: The pair wraps their arms around each other as they slowly dance together.
Josh: ♥_♥
Noelle: ^_^
Josh: "So you finally found out what you were missing, eh?"
Noelle: "Just shut up and dance!"
Josh: "Do you have a time machine?"
Noelle: "What do you mean?"
Josh: "How else are we supposed to see Iron Maiden?"
Noelle: "It's a holoshow! Get with the times!"
Josh: "Oh! Derp!" -‾-
Noelle: XD
: Noelle and Josh continue to dance in the center of the Gym, with their foreheads touching, and Josh quickly looks overhead as he hears the disco ball's tether "snap."
Josh: •_•
: The disco ball "whooshes" down and lands square on Josh's face, creating a bright flash that wakes Josh from his dream as the song fades out.
Josh: "Fuck! My face!" <:O
Noelle: "No thanks!"
Jamie: "What was that now?"
Josh: O_°
==Trivia==
* This chapter was named after the song by Wheatus, titled "Teenage Dirtbag."
* Additionally, the music video for "Teenage Dirtbag" inspired a small portion of this chapter's plot. The official video and the uncensored video can both be seen below, respectively.
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==Sources==
Category:Dead Space 2: Break-Fast: Squat to the Top Chapters