Weddings and Funerals

is the eighth episode of SpongeBob's Seventh Heaven.
==Synopsis==
i'm gonna be honest i dont like this episode that much
==Transcript==
SpongeBob: EVERYBODY IN THE KITCHEN I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT
Mummy Pig: excuse me asshole im trying to make pancakes
SpongeBob: its a tuesday night why the fuck are you making pancakes
Peppa: 11:28pm this better be important
SpongeBob: we're holding a funeral
Larry: after two months????
SpongeBob: not a funeral for you dipshit
Sandy: what took so long
SpongeBob: had to find a church that would take us
Mr. Krabs: and how much did they charge me boy
Tobias: SPONGEBOB ALL MY SKINS ARE GONE
Larry: there's churches that take vbucks?
Tobias: no i collect human skin
Plankton: why the fuck would you do this now we have to go back to church
SpongeBob: WHERE ELSE DO YOU HOLD A FUNERAL???
Plankton: THE BACKYARD????????
SpongeBob: what fucking yard this house is on a hill
George: how are we supposed to do a funeral with no bodies
SpongeBob: i hired actors
(Dramatic Cue D)
Larry: isn't that illegal? That sounds illegal
SpongeBob: its a custom not a law dumbass
Peppa: you shouldve used fish bones or something
Sandy: that would imply that larry ate us
Larry: i dont want you guys inside me
SpongeBob: what guy would want to be inside of you
===Funeral===
Pearl: i cant believe daddy is dead...
Mrs. Puff: lmfao sucks to suck
Pearl: BOTH YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD
Mrs. Puff: so are yours stupid
Pearl:
Mr. Krabs: behave my dears
Mrs. Puff: EUGENE WHAT THE FUCK
Mr. Krabs: drop the 'mrs' from your name you aint fucking married anymore
Mrs. Puff:
Ms. Puff:
Pearl: DAD YOURE A GHOST
SpongeBob: yall act like you aint ever seen a dead person before
Sandy: jaws all on the floor
Patrick: like pam, like tommy just burst in the door
Larry: hey that sounds cool what song is that
SpongeBob:
Sandy:
Patrick:
Plankton: larry you've got ten seconds to run before they figure out how to kill you in ghost form
Sandy: THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW THIS SONG???????
Larry: I DONT LISTEN TO RAP MUSIC
SpongeBob: im asexual and i still fucked your mother so thats not an excuse
Larry: MOST OF YOU ALL DIDNT KNOW WHAT THE CROSS WAS DONT YELL AT ME FOR NOT LISTENING TO EMINEM
George: holy shit can we start the funeral already
Peppa: hey isnt there supposed to be a wedding too because this episode's name is weddings AND funerals?
Pearl: isnt that a nursery rhyme
Larry: ooh who's getting married
Ms. Puff: me
Mr. Krabs: PUFF YOU CANT BE SERIOUS
Ms. Puff: DID YOU THINK I WOULD ACTUALLY YOUR ATTEND FUNERAL????
Mr. Krabs: NO BUT I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD REMARRY THAT FAST
Ms. Puff: i get around
Alex: spongebob's seventh heaven is turning into a soap opera
Sandy: why the fuck is it called a soap opera when there's no opera and there's DEFINETELY no soap
Larry: watching soap operas makes me feel clean inside
Sandy: obviously it cleaned the ridges off your brain
Pastor: we are gathered here today to mourn the death of spunch bop, pat rick, quinnard tortelini, 
Squidward: THE LAST NAME TOO SERIOUSLY??????
Pastor: we have the bodies here WHAT THE FUCK THE BODIES ARE GONE
SpongeBob: YOU BASTARDS I HAD YOU BOOKED FOR FOUR HOURS
Actor: bro its a tuesday night i gotta go get wasted
Alex: bring me back some wine
Actor: broke ass fuck go buy your own
SpongeBob: you seem to be forgetting im dead and can possess your body and drive your car off a cliff
Actor: what kind of dumb fuck dies in a car accident
SpongeBob:
Sandy:
Patrick:
===Nine months later===
Actor: my wife is giving birth to my child today
Larry: how do you know that
Sandy: don't be too sad larry's parents weren't there for his birth either
Larry: HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK
Tobias: hey guys just thought you should know i had a miscarriage
Larry: YOU HAD A WHAT
(Everyone does the falling over and laughing thing from Peppa Pig)
Actor: on the plus side being dead means i dont have to pay taxes
Actor: *gets resurrected*
Actor: aw fuck
the end
Category:Episodes
Category:SpongeBob's Seventh Heaven
Category:Sonicthehedgehog223
Category:2024
Category:2024 Episodes
Category:2020s
Category:Episodes written by Sonicthehedgehog223