The Thing That Should Not Be

The Thing That Should Not Be is the forty-fifth episode of Cult of Squid. It released November 27th, 2020, and was written by Purple133.
== Plot ==
Squidward and the cult find out where The Initiator has been going every time he disappears. 
== Transcript ==
(This special begins in a black void)
Voice: In the beginning, there was nothingness. And until God eventually came into existence and created reality as you know it, there was just nothingness. An infinitely very vast, infinitely dark, forever nothingness. Then one day, reality came into creation. But, this nothingness didn’t just vanish, rather it became hidden in what I’ll call “beside reality”. This place besides reality contains the nothingness, contains its own infinity that isn’t limited by the bounds of our universe. However. Just because it’s “nothingness” doesn’t make it empty. There was a being. A being more powerful and primordial then any other great being ever to exist. Its name is Nix.
(Cut to a blurry figure standing in front of a giant shadowy cosmic being, Nix. Time stamp: October 12, 2017)
Nix: Greetings traveler, what brings you by today?
Blurry Figure: I’ve come to strike a deal with the only cosmic entity that isn’t near impossible to talk to.
Nix: I see. Nobody’s visited me in centuries, I just sit and watch as reality moves on. What is it you would like?
Blurry Figure: Your knowledge. I’m helping a friend in an attempt to take over the world, but need knowledge in order to run it well. Also could I get teleportation? That would be convenient.
Nix: What are you willing to offer?
Blurry Figure: When I die, you get my soul.
Nix: A soul? I haven’t had a soul in centuries! I could really use the extra power boost anyways, I’m planning to do my very own travels. But I won’t take your soul all at once. You said you wish to teleport right? Well how about instead of that, you open up a door, come here, I take a fraction of your soul, and then you go to your destination?
Blurry Figure: Sounds like a deal!
Nix: Deal it is then.
(Nix shakes the figure’s hand)
(November 20, 2020: The Cult Chambers)
The Initiator: *appears* Squidward! The toilet is clogged again!
Squidward: AGAIN HOW THE HECK-
The Initiator: I think Brother Shell is back on his diet.
Brother Shell: I’ve been here the whole time.
Squidward: WILL SOMEBODY JUST GO FIX IT?!
The Initiator: eh *disappears*
(The Initiator pops up in the nothingness)
The Initiator: Yo Nix you can take part of my soul again.
Nix: You’re starting to run low Initiator, I can tell your times almost up.
Initiator: Well not today it isn’t, if you’ll excuse me I’ve got to go to my house now.
(The Initiator pops up at his house and sees Satan standing in the kitchen)
The Initiator: AH! WHAT THE HELL-
Satan: Kid you really shouldn’t use that word around me, I could snap you there in an instant. Anyways, I’m here to offer you a deal. 
The Initiator: No.
Satan: I didn’t say-
The Initiator: You’re the Devil, and I’m not going to make a deal with you.
Satan: Okay let me retry this. I know your secret, and I want to harvest a lot of Nix’s powers. I got big plans kid, and I need your help since you can contact it!
The Initiator: It’s still a no.
Satan: Okay let me try again. How about I slaughter all of your friends while you watch and then I break every bone in your body and then force you to open the portal?
The Initiator: You’re a monster.
Satan: Hello? Satan here!
The Initiator: So what do I have to do.
Satan: Glad you asked.
(Cut to the Feathered Friends hiding out in an abandoned jail)
Patrick: SpongeBob it’s cold.
SpongeBob: Patrick shhhhh! You do remember that Satan sent some demons to finish us off, right?
Plankton: Guys I think they’re here, what should we do?
SpongeBob: Plankton set off a flare to signal for the cult’s help!
(Plankton lights a flare and a demon notices but the flare flies over his head; cut to the cult)
Squidward: Hey! That’s the demon flare, feathered friends are in danger!
Security: What should we do?
Squidward: where is doctor Crayons? He was researching exorcism spells and stuff.
Crayons: Right here boss! I found one in Latin!
Squidward: Well Latin never fails, so Security take Crayons and a couple other cultists with you. 
Security: You got it brother Squidward!
Squidward: And can somebody find me Noseward, I haven’t seen him in forever!
(Cut to the Feathered Friends)
Bubble Bass: How many are out there?
(SpongeBob peeks through a boarded up window)
SpongeBob: Three, but they all look like powerful and stuff.
Patrick: So do we just wait here?
SpongeBob: It’s our only option.
(Cut to The Initiator walking into Nix’s realm)
The Initiator: Hello, Nix.
Nix: You’re not the Initiator.
The Initiator: How could you tell?
Nix: Believe me Satan, I felt the energy burning off you before you even stepped into this realm. So tell me, why are you here?
Satan (The Initiator): Well as you know-
Nix: Save it. I can read minds so I know this is the part where you tell me that you want my help and my power to help you bring about something big, right?
Satan (The Initiator): Yes but-
Nix: And you want to take my power by restoring the Initiator’s soul which I’ve been feeding on because it’ll restore him with pieces of my essence, my power too, right?
Satan (The Initiator): You’re no fun, you know?
Nix: I’m aware. Now go away before I make you go away.
(Satan leaves The Initiator)
The Initiator: That was odd.
Nix: Payment?
(Nix puts a shadowy palm onto The Initiator and he flinches as part of his soul exits his body)
Nix: You’re good to go.
(The Initiator walks out of a portal and arrives at the Feathered Friends)
The Initiator: Oh hey boys.
SpongeBob: You really are the ultimate ex machine guy. 
The Initiator: I’m aware. So what’s going on?
SpongeBob: We fired the flare as I assume you know, but basically DEMONS.
The Initiator: Oh okay cool.
(Suddenly Nix appears)
Patrick: Who the heck is that?
Nix: I’m beyond your concept of thought boy. That child Satan really ticked me off, so I’ll take care of these demons.
(The demons break into the building but Nix snaps it’s fingers and they’re all instantly smote)
SpongeBob: WOAH.
Plankton: WHAT THE-
Patrick: Wait what happened I wasn’t looking
Bubble Bass: Initiator you have a very powerful friend.
Nix: He’s not my friend.
The Initiator: Oh.
Nix: Well I guess he is.
(Nix opens a portal and walks in and the Initiator follows)
SpongeBob: Woah! So that’s how he does it!
Plankton: Yeah, he’s just friends with cosmic beings. WHY CANT I GET THAT PRIVILEGE? 
(Security, Crayons, and a small group of cultists arrive)
Security: Hey wait how did you guys kill them all?
SpongeBob: We didn’t
Patrick: Some shadow creature and The Initiator showed up and the shadow creature snapped its fingers and they all died.
Security: Oh.
Crayons: What type of shadow creature? A demon?
SpongeBob: No it was like a shadow. An actual shadow.
Crayons: Very interesting. Let me go do some research. And you say it smote all the demons?
Plankton: Yes yes that’s what it did.
Crayons: Interesting.
Security: Okay boys back to the cult.
(The Initiator pops in in Squidward’s throne room)
Squidward: Oh hey. 
The Initiator: Hey Squidward I think we have a problem.
Squidward: What is it?
The Initiator: Satan’s demon attacks are getting increasingly fierce.
Squidward: So?
The Initiator: That doesn’t worry you?
Squidward: Hmmmm. We can increase cult defenses!
The Initiator: Boy-
(Security, Crayons, and the FF bust into the cult chambers)
The Initiator: Well you guys got back fast. 
Crayons: Well hey Initiator!
The Initiator: Hi.
(Nix walks out from a portal)
The Initiator: Oh sh-
Squidward: WHAT THE *dolphin noises* IS THAT.
Nix: INITIATOR. 
Squidward: Initiator, you know this thing?
The Initiator: UM UM UM I DIDNT THINK ANYBODY WOULD FIGURE THIS OUT-
SpongeBob: Well I did!
Plankton: No I did you dipstick.
SpongeBob: But we worked as a team!
Security: No we didn’t, we just picked you guys up. 
Squidward: So hi how are you shadow monster thing?
Nix: I am the FIRST being. You shall refer to me with respect!
Squidward: Yeah okay. Initiator?
The Initiator: So I’ve kinda been teleporting by allowing Nix to feed on pieces of my soul so I can go through it’s dimension. 
Squidward: That seems needlessly complicated, why didn’t you just enlist cult forces to capture it?
(Nix snaps it’s fingers and everybody’s bones start crunching)
The Initiator: *strained* wait what-
Nix: To display my power to you sub life forms. And also because you let the Devil into my dimension. That’s a BIG no-no Initiator.
Buff Jim: *very strained* hey wait is his name just Initiator?
The Initiator: Well actually it’s The Initiator. 
Buff Jim: Fair enough.
(Squidward starts coughing up blood)
Nix: Now here’s the deal boys and girls. I’m willing to help you beat Satan because he’s a prick, but first you must prove to me you’ll be able to hold your own for a bit.
(Cut to outside the cult, demons have surrounded the pyramid) 
Squidward: *strained* can you stop killing us so we can prove it then?
Nix: Fine.
(Nix snaps it’s fingers and everybody is healed)
Nix: If you slay all thirty demons outside, I’ll think about helping you.
The Initiator: How are we supposed to fight all of them?
(Nix disappears)
The Initiator: Oh so that’s what it feels like.
(Buff Jim and a few other cult members run to hold the doors shut)
Brother Augustus: THE DOOR, SHE WONT HOLD!
Squidward: Crayons bring a couple cult members to go get your heaviest inventions!
Crayons: NO THEYLL GET DESTROYED!
Squidward: JUST DO IT!
(Crayons goes to get some inventions)
Security: Uh Squidward is now a bad time to bring up the fact that the windows are open?
(Outside of the cult all the demons start walking towards the windows)
Squidward: Hey wait they can’t get in, Noseward said if we salt them then we’ll be okay. Speaking of, where is Noseward?
(Cut to Noseward on a boat)
Noseward: This is a nice vacation.
Candy Muffin: Greetings Noseward. We should talk.
Noseward: Oh so I’m asleep. 
(Noseward jumps off the boat; cut to the demons trying to get into the cult through the windows)
Crayons: YO SQUIDWARD! I GOT THE MACHINES!
(Doctor Crayons launches a metal cube at a demon but accidentally causes salt to fall off the window)
Security: Oh crap.
(Demons start hopping into the cult chambers through the open window, the door breaks open and a bunch of cult members fall over)
Buff Jim: Well this isn’t good.
(Jim gets slammed against a wall by a demon)
Security: What do we do?
The Initiator: Hey I know!
(The Initiator runs to a back room)
Squidward: You want us to retreat?
The Initiator: No, there’s a prisoner back here!
(A stabbing and screaming sound is heard and the Initiator comes back with a blood hand)
Squidward: INITIATOR! YOU KILLED A SLAV-(coughs) PRISONER!
The Initiator: I need to paint a blood sigil to send these demons back to hell!
Crayons: You’re sure that’s gonna work?
The Initiator: Nix told me.
Crayons: Fair enough, I’m not one to question beings of pure nothingness. 
(The Initiator starts painting the sigil on his chest)
Squidward: WOAH. LETS KEEP IT PG!
The Initiator: Oh shut up.
(The Initiator finishes his sigil and places his hand on his chest to activate it, all the demons are smote from their host bodies)
Random Fish 1: Huh? Where am I?
Squidward: Nice work Initiator!
Security: Hey, new slaves- I mean prisoners!
Squidward: No, no, let them go. 
(The fish leave the cult chambers)
Buff Jim: Very cool Squidward. But that was a massive attack and I don’t think we’ll be able to do these sigil things every time, how the heck are we supposed to fight back?
Crayons: Well boys allow me to introduce you to my latest invention!
(Crayons brings everyone back to his lab)
Crayons: Let me find it.
Squidward: So how will we know Nix is going to help us?
Initiator: Let me go find out.
(The Initiator vanishes and finds himself inside of Nix’s realm)
Nix: I’ll help on one condition.
The Initiator: What’s that?
Nix: You get me a vial of blood from a member of the Council of Death. 
The Initiator: But the only way to get that is-
Nix: The time will come for that eventually. 
(Cut to Crayons holding a knife with a bunch of symbols)
Crayons: I grafted that sigil Initiator painted onto a knife, I think it might kill the demons!
Squidward: I like this. Hopefully it works!
(Noseward runs out into the cult chambers)
Noseward: GUYS I HAVE NEW!
(Cut to Satan outside of a familiar looking tiki house)
Satan: SQUILLIAM FANCYSON!
(Squilliam peeks out through his window and ducks)
Squilliam: Who-who are you?
Satan: Salvation.
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