An Elinor Wonders Why Special: My Bunny Girl: Part 4

(Scene: Elinor's bedroom at night)
(Elinor is laying on her bed thinking. She hears Mr. Rabbit's car pull up at the house. She goes over to the window and looks outside.)
(Scene: Outside)
(Mr. Rabbit and Irene Pepperberg come out of the car.)
Irene Pepperberg: I had a good time tonight.
Mr. Rabbit: I haven't had a bingo partner in ages.
(Mr. Rabbit and Irene Pepperberg walk up to Irene Pepperberg camper.)
Irene Pepperberg: Would you like to come in and see my house? Just for a minute.
Mr. Rabbit: Okay, sure.
(They walk inside the camper. Elinor still watches.)
(Scene: Inside Irene Pepperberg's camper)
(Mr. Rabbit and Irene Pepperberg enter the camper.)
Irene Pepperberg: Home sweet home.
Mr. Rabbit: It's nice.
Irene Pepperberg: I did it myself. I read a magazine article about how to maximize small spaces.
Mr. Rabbit: Well it certainly looks bigger that it seems.
Irene Pepperberg: You can look in the bathroom if you want. they're always curious about that, like what happens when you flush.
(Mr. Rabbit goes into the bathroom to check it out and then flushes the toilet.)
Mr. Rabbit: Yeah.
Irene Pepperberg: Are you mad at me?
Mr. Rabbit: No. why?
Irene Pepperberg: I don't know, tonight you just seemed a little cool, not opening car doors and...
Mr. Rabbit: Oh. that was Corbin. trying to give me advice on dating seventies women. Look, I'm so outta touch. I haven't dated women in ages. not since my wife died.
Irene Pepperberg: What happened to her?
Mr. Rabbit: Ah. complications during childbirth. she died two days after Elinor was born.
Irene Pepperberg: Did she ever see Elinor?
Mr. Rabbit: I brought the baby into the room a couple of times. she opened her eyes. yeah. yeah. I think she saw Elinor. It was.....
(Mr. Rabbit looks right at the item he's holding. and he plays around with it to keep himself calm.)
Mr. Rabbit: Did I ruin this?
Irene Pepperberg: Dance with me?
Mr. Rabbit: Here?
Irene Pepperberg: This is where we are.
Mr. Rabbit: Is there enough room?
(Irene Pepperberg moves something from the floor to make more room.)
Mr. Rabbit: I haven't danced in.....
Irene Pepperberg: In ages, I know, me neither.
(Mr. Rabbit and Irene Pepperberg begin slow dancing with one another.)
Mr. Rabbit: Rock?
Irene Pepperberg: See you're that out of touch.
(They both keep dancing it off.)
Irene Pepperberg: You're good.
Mr. Rabbit: At Widdman High, I was considered a pretty hot date. I did a killer frugue.
(Irene Pepperberg smells Mr. Rabbit's neck.)
Irene Pepperberg: What are you wearing?
Mr. Rabbit: Old Spice. Corbin says it's a timeless classic.
(They both dance it off some more.)
Irene Pepperberg: Do you wanna?
Mr. Rabbit: Wanna what?
Irene Pepperberg: Kiss me.
Mr. Rabbit: Yes.
Irene Pepperberg: Good.
(They both have a real super long kiss at one another.)
Miss. Jenny: Good at kissing, and dancing, I'm very optimistic.
(They both kiss again. but this time, the cuckoo clock interrupts.)
Mr. Rabbit: I ah, better go.
Irene Pepperberg: It's only eight o'clock.
Mr. Rabbit: Goodnight, Irene.
Irene Pepperberg: Goodnight.
(Mr. Rabbit leaves the camper. while Irene Pepperberg stands at the camper's door.)
Irene Pepperberg: Well. I guess it's official we had a date. maybe we can play bingo again sometime.
Mr. Rabbit: I'm tired of bingo. maybe we should try that drive in of yours.
Irene Pepperberg: Goodnight.
(Mr. Rabbit waves her goodbye.)
(Scene: Elinor's bedroom)
(Elinor goes off to bed.)
(Scene: Writing class in daytime)
Mr. Hamster: Before the class started, Marvin and Shelly wanted to lead the class in a group meditation.
Classmate Number One: Ooooh that's really cool.
Marvin: Okay. what we're gonna do is send our vibes out into the group.
(Marvin turns on some weird crazy music.)
Shelly: Everybody hold hands. and close your eyes. Relax your muscles and take deep breaths.
Marvin: Now. try to feel what the other person is feeling. without speaking any words. send out your vibe. and receive the vibes around you at the same time. Can you feel it?
Shelly: Okay. open your eyes. What did everybody feel?
Classmate Number Two: I felt Mrs. Albertson's strength.
Classmate Number Three: I can feel that Shelly is one with the earth. she's so cosmically in tune.
Shelly: So right on. that's exactly what I sent out. and I felt like, you were full of inner peace and harmony.
Mr. Hamster: Elinor. what did you feel?
Elinor: I felt Marvin's hangnail.
Marvin: No, Elinor. that's not what we're looking for. a hangnail is insignificant. What's in my soul. feel my aura.
Elinor: I don't think I'm allowed to.
Marvin: I tell you what. let's try it again. hold hands.
Elinor (thoughts): My bibi once had a hangnail on her big toe. It got infected and traveled to her vocal chords. it ruined her singing voice. I don't think my grandma thought it was insignificant.
(Scene: Elinor's bedroom)
(Elinor's on her bed thinking. She stands up. and she goes to Bibi. She sits near her. and she tries to do spiritual healing.)
(Scene: Supermarket)
(Elinor and Mr. Rabbit are shopping.)
Mr. Rabbit: Lettuce. watch out for the rust when you get lettuce.
(All of a sudden, Irene Pepperberg appears behind them.)
Irene Pepperberg: Hey. I thought I recognized you two. hi, Elinor.
Elinor: Hi.
Mr. Rabbit: I'm just picking some things up for the vegetarian cookout.
Irene Pepperberg: Yeah. me too. mind if I tag along?
Mr. Rabbit: Not at all. Lot of potatoes!
Irene Pepperberg: It's for Irene's famous potato salad.
Mr. Rabbit: I'm looking forward to that.
(Elinor's pushing the grocery cart. and she doesn't even like Mr. Rabbit and Irene Pepperberg together as always. She rams her grocery cart into Mr. Rabbit's grocery cart.)
Mr. Rabbit: HEY, OUCH, Gosh DANG IT! Elinor. watch what you're doing.
Elinor: Sorry.
Irene Pepperberg: You know this is gonna be my first fourth of July picnic in a long time.
Mr. Rabbit: Really?
(Elinor picks up a can of prunes.)
Elinor: Dad. didn't you say you needed prunes real bad?
Mr. Rabbit: Ah. Elinor. just put anything you want in the cart. anything at all.
Mr. Rabbit (to Irene Pepperberg): I don't know what's gotten into her today.
(Elinor begins rolling the grocery cart around. and she throw cans in there. not caring about what they have in them.)
Elinor (thoughts): I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie dolls. Ken was my favorite. Then one Christmas, I got them a camper. and all they wanted to do was hang out in it by themselves. So I wasn't too upset when they took that wrong turn and went over a cliff.
(Scene: Elinor's backyard)
(Mr. Rabbit's playing the tuba. Irene Pepperberg, Elinor and Corbin are singing the National Anthem's Star Splanged Banner. Bibi stands up. and she watches them. and a mustang pulls up next to the camper. a gray fish and a wolf get out.)
(Mr. Rabbit's cooking the veggie burgers on the grill. and they're beginning to get burnt. and Corbin's also there standing next to him.)
Corbin: Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan. I told you to use fewer briquettes. and now look what you've done. You've cremated them.
Mr. Rabbit: That's what I do. Do you wanna do it?
Corbin: No, no, no....
(Corbin walks away. and Irene Pepperberg comes up behind him.)
Irene Pepperberg: How's it going, chef?
Mr. Rabbit: Okay.
(Elinor looks right at Mr. Rabbit and Irene Pepperberg. She doesn't even like them standing next to one another. She walks over. and she pushes between them.)
Elinor: Are they ready yet?
Mr. Rabbit: No, sweetie. not yet.
(Irene Pepperberg uses her fingers to brush Elinor's hair. but Elinor doesn't even like it. and shakes her head to get her to stop.)
Elinor: When?
Mr. Rabbit: Soon, honey. soon.
(Irene Pepperberg tries to fix up Elinor's hair. despite there being nothing wrong with it. and Elinor shakes her head again to make her stop.)
Elinor: When?
Mr. Rabbit: In a minute. look. it's hot, sweetie. you'll burn your nose. look out.
(Elinor and Irene Pepperberg go back to the table.)
(The fish and the wolf are going up the driveway.)
(Elinor, Mr. Rabbit, Irene Pepperberg, Corbin and Bibi are at the picnic table.)
Irene Pepperberg: Rub a dub dub. thanks for the grub. yay, God.
Mr. Rabbit: I'll second that.
Elinor: Hey, Irene. like seafood?
Irene Pepperberg: Uh huh. why?
Elinor: Sea food!
(Elinor opens her mouth. and she shows Irene Pepperberg the half-chewed food in her mouth. and Irene Pepperberg laughs a bit.)
Irene Pepperberg: That's attractive.
(She turns a bit. and she sees the fish and the wolf looking around.)
Irene Pepperberg (under her breath): Oh snap! Excuse me...
(Irene Pepperberg stands up. and she walks over to the fish and wolf. and Mr. Rabbit sees this. and Elinor and Corbin turn to see what's going on. and Bibi stares out in outer space.)
Mr. Dog: Hey Irene Pepperberg, who lives here?
(He points at the hearse.)
Mr. Dog: The Addams Family?
Irene Pepperberg: Mr. Dog, what are you doing here?
Mr. Dog: What am I doing here? What a I doing here?
Irene Pepperberg (to an otter): Hi Jacques Cousteau. Oh Mr. Dog, how'd you find me here?
Mr. Dog: You told everybody where you were going, I'm here for the motor home.
Phil: These two people do not have a good relationship.
Miss. Jenny: No! I bought it, I paid for it. I've been living in it for over a year, the camper is mine.
Mr. Grumpfish: Excuse me, mutual asset, that's what the lawyer said, it's supposed to be "Our Mutual Asset", not "Miss. Jenny's recreational vehicle". Gimme the keys.
Miss. Jenny: Keep your voice down!
Mr. Grumpfish: What?
Miss. Jenny: The boss is watching us...
Danny (saracastic): I'm impressed.
Miss. Jenny: God I guess i'll have to introduce you now.
Mr. Grumpfish: Yeah, all right...
(Miss. Jenny leads Mr. Grumpfish to the where everyone else is with Big Bad Wolf following behind.)
Miss. Jenny: This is Harry, Phil, Grandma and Oona Shaskan...
Mr. Grumpfish: Oona Shaskan? Tough break.
Oona (matter-of-fact): I like my name.
Miss. Jenny (to the Shaskan's):
This is Mr. Grumpfish and Big Bad Wolf, they own the Dino Raphael salon in Detroit.
Oona (hopeful, to Mr. Grumpfish): Are you here to take Miss. Jenny back?
(Mr. Grumpfish shakes his head no. Harry gets up and go round the table.)
Harry: Uhh, it's nice to meet ya. Uhh, we got burgers and hot dogs here if you'd care to join us?
Mr. Grumpfish: Can't stay, I'm just here because my wife.....
Miss. Jenny (interupting): Ex...ex, ex...
Mr. Grumpfish: My "ex" wife seems to have ripped off my camper.
Harry: Miss. Jenny? Miss Jenny: Honestly Harry, he got the mustang, I promise.....
Mr. Grumpfish: I don't think so, I got a copy of the property settlement right here.
(He pulls out a piece of paper.)
Mr. Grumpfish: Ahh holy shoot this is my lease...... Dang it, I keep forgetting things, I'm getting senile.
Harry: Mr. Grumpfish?
Mr. Grumpfish: What?
Harry: Okay, I know you've suffered a terrible loss, and there's really nothing anyone can do to comfort you, but I urge you to focus on the times you had with the camper, the trips you took, the sights you saw, those days are gone now, but they'll live on in your heart forever.
Mr. Grumpfish (to Miss. Jenny): This guy bonking you?
Miss. Jenny (disgusted): Mr. Grumpfish that's a real bonehead thing to say!
Harry (to Mr. Grumpfish): Look, you're not gonna take Miss. Jenny's camper.
Mr. Grumpfish: Oh.. Oh.. Oh no? Oh?
Harry: It's her home! It's where she lives!
Mr. Grumpfish: Oh really, okay fine look, go cook. (to Miss. Jenny) Gimme the goddam keys.
(He tries to get the keys from her.)
Miss. Jenny: Stop it! That hurts!
(Harry is now very annoyed at Mr. Grumpfish.)
Harry: Mr. Grumpfish, Mr. Grumpfish......
(Harry punches Mr. Grumpfish in the stomach. Oona and Phil watch startled. Miss. Jenny is surprised, and Oona's grandma stares into space.)
Big Bad Wolf: What'd you do that for?
Harry: Who are you?
Big Bad Wolf: I'm his brother.
Harry: Oh then you'll probably be visiting us here quite often.
Big Bad Wolf: Why?
Harry: Because if he ever tries to take Miss. Jenny's camper again, I'm gonna bury him in my front yard.
(Big Bad Wolf is disturbed.)
(Oona is still in shock of what happened.)
Phil (whispering): Your father is a savage.
(Oona looks at Phil and Phil nods.)
(Scene: Front of house at night)
(Miss. Jenny is leaning over the window with her head inside. Mr. Grumpfish and Big Bad Wolf are inside.)
Irene Pepperberg: Bye Jacques Cousteau.
(The car pulls away and Miss. Jenny waves.)
Miss. Jenny (to Harry): Well, you were pretty great!
Harry: Is it really your camper?
(Miss. Jenny makes a "sort of" gesture with her hand.)
(Suddenly, fireworks begin. Harry and Miss. Jenny look up to watch.)
Miss. Jenny: Can we see it from the backyard?
Harry: You can get the general idea...
(They walk to the backyard.)
Harry: Yep, there they are... They always look the same every year...
Miss. Jenny: Look...
Harry: Did you ahh, love him?
Miss. Jenny: I would never marry anybody I didn't love.
(Oona and Phil are watching the fireworks from a seat-swing.)
Oona: He must like Miss. Jenny, I never saw him hit anyone in his life.
Phil: He likes her.
Oona: Does he love her?
Phil: Probably.
Oona: Do you like her?
Phil: Yes I do, and I think she's very good for your father.
Oona: Why?
Phil: After your mother died, he was sad all the time, but before that, he was pretty funny.
Oona: Really? Phil: Now when I see him with Miss. Jenny, sometimes he seems like the old Harry.
Oona: My dad was funny?
Phil: Well he wasn't one of the Marx brothers, but he made me laugh.
Oona (thoughts): My uncle fought in the Korean War, he had a steel plate put in his head, Daddy said he didn't come back the same, one night, he picked up a radio station from Oklahoma in his teeth, it was really neat.