Stone 39

Chapter 39
Kahlan is lurking about through the winter mountains, covering her tracks and such, using the tracking lore Richard taught her...some time. I have no idea when he had time to teach her this, but apparently he did. Maybe during the three whole days he knew her before they fell in love? Whatever.
Kahlan is doing all this because she's plotting to kill all the Order soldiers chasing her and doesn't dare lead them back to the Army of Children. Anyway, her trap is ready, and soon fifty mounted soldiers ride out onto a frozen waterfall and slide off it and to their deaths.
All fifty of them. Horses. Men. They can't stop because it's really slick, y'see. None of the men jump off their mounts. None of the horses – which, we're specifically told, are wearing iron shoes – are able to get a grip. Nobody gets lucky. They all die, just like that.
\~/
Kahlan goes to the edge of the cliff to observe her handiwork (how she avoids going down the the Hellslide of Icy Doom I don't know) and finds an Order soldier clinging to a branch just below the edge. He begs for help, and she tells him that she'll help him up, but she'll also mindrape him. The soldier decides he'd rather fall to his death. Good choice.
Kahlan ponders about the various magical creatures in the Midlands that the Order will destroy, creatures like the night wisps, the creatures living in Long Lake, the whispering tree people, and the things in the Howling Caves. These sounds pretty interesting, and except for the night wisps, will never be referred to again in this entire series. \~/\~/\~/
This done, she gets back to the Army of Children, who are now much better at their jobs because they've been listening to the three Mud People. Hunter-gatherers always know more about warfare than trained soldiers, you understand. Also, as an aside, Tossy has a white wolf mantle. How many white wolves did Kahlan and the Mud People skin, anyway? How common are white wolves in the Midlands?
Anyway, Kahlan tells them that she killed the wizard, a couple of officers, and “well over a hundred” common soldiers. The Children are suitably impressed, but Chandelier (who knows that Confessors are merciless avatars of destruction) is not. Chandelier is so cool.
Since, as it turns out the Army of Children was Doing the Right Thing all along, Kahlan politely apologizes to Ryan and gets on with the business of...oh, wait. No, instead, she drops to her knees in the snow in front of the whole camp and begs him to forgive her. When Ryan asks her to get up, she answers “Not until you forgive me.” Now, I'm all in favor of Kahlan being taken down a peg, but this is just grandstanding. Kahlan is like that self-righteous person we all know who, when they're proven wrong, have to wallow in their abasement rather than just acknowledging their mistake and moving on. As such, this scene just feels like Kahlan screaming for attention.
Having finished her...thing, Kahlan orders Ryan to assemble the men (what, all 5,000 of them?) while she has a private chat with Chandelier and his Boyz. Chandelier, still valiantly holding on to his common sense, objects to the idea that they are going to fight the Order and insists that they continue with their save the freaking world quest. 
As expected, Kahlan brushes him off and informs the Mud People that they have magic. Apparently the ability to call up their ancestral spirits makes them magical creatures, and means that the Order will want them all dead. I'd think the mere fact that they're a band of independent savages would be sufficient, but I guess not. 
Kahlan goes on to explain that, unless stopped, the Order will undoubtedly kill many more people, so she and the Mud People are going to help the Army of Children stop them. Prim and Tossy agree to help her, but Kahlan says “...it's not you who must decide. Chandalen must be the one who agrees. It is for him to decide.” 
After she literally bullied him into being her bodyguard, and has spurned and spat on his opinion at every opportunity, now he has to be the one to decide. \~/\~/
Chandelier, who is apparently the Patron Saint of Patience, reasons that if Kahlan does this alone she will probably die, so the Mud Boyz will try to keep her alive. 
This ends the chapter. Next chapter...oh boy. Next chapter is bad. I'll just let you think about that.
Drinks: 6
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