The PTS-Philly Toot Simulator

A battery powered fart machine that makes tooting noises and talks in the voice of Philly from The Class of 3000 (as done by Phil LaMarr) when touched; it's blue with a marigold button on top and has "PTS" on it in orange; The Philly Toot Simulator (The PTS for short) runs on 2 AA batteries like the PFS.
== The Farts and Wisecracks ==
# ("fanfare blaster" toot) Raise the curtain and turn on the lights, showtime starts really soon!
# ("Train Whistler" toot) Puff puff toot toot, LOL!
# ("party horn blower" toot) Celebrate with me, it's the perfect day!
# ("Supersonic Squeaker" toot) Whoopsie, I made a mistake!
# ("raspberry wind-blower" toot) Oh, that's a wet one!
# ("Be-bopper" toot) 1-2-3-4, tootin' 50s jazz galore!
# ("Bluesy harmonica" toot) I'm just shooing the blues away with my toots!
# ("brassy tuba" toot) I'm a 1-boy-genius marching band!
# ("blues kazoo" toot) Groovy and gassy at the same time, I really like it!
# ("Megapuffer" tooting noise) Hang on for the ultimate explosion of goofiness!