Caffeinating the Apocalypse: Y/N?

A UA where Min jokeys Operation Pitfall (I mentioned it ages and ages ago with regards to the multiverse.) I forgot a chunk and then it died.
==Meta==
In a bubble-under-my-hat, when Setsuko is not available as a proxy between Wash and Pietr when the former catches a cold, Wash passes it Pietr (and in turn a good chunk of the Shatterdome). Chuckles and Pentecost run Pitfall together except Min (who really shouldn't be allowed to make any major decisions at this time having just lost the triplets) points out that if the plan doesn't work, there should be at least two experienced Rangers left (and a leader, but that's a given with Herc) and that Pentecost really only needs another brain so she goes instead and gets ejected; a terrifying experience on its own because of all the vapourized water and the void it left behind - also happens to be where I found out Chuckles likes crosswords! It could also be classified as 'the one where Min's running Pitfall' of which there is one because I don't feel like killing off Liu (I don't think he can survive losing all four of them in such a short period of time). 
==Fic==
[Min and Pentecost are going over the last details in his office before Pitfall]
"Have I forgotten anything, Quartermaster?" 
Min scans her list. "Clean underwear?" 
Pentecost nearly smiles. "Yes." 
"You have your speech memorized, paperwork in order, will [establsihed] ... I'd say that's everything, sir." 
"Good. Thank you very much, Quartermaster."
"You're very welcome, sir." 
.
"How in the fucking hell are we supposed to Drift?" snarls Ranger Hansen (the younger).
"I'll do it," blurts Min. 
Pentecost and Ranger Hansen both look at her (studying and glaring, respectively). 
"Have you gone batshite? You're not a Ranger, not even close. You fucking make coffee!"
"You can Drift with almost anyone and I'm very good at second fiddle. Do you really need a Ranger, or do you only need a warm body and a brain?" asks Min.
"Quartermaster, I've already left Administration to you."
"So eject me." 
"You don't fucking abandon your fucking Drift partner," spits Chuck. 
"Then It's a good thing he's not my fucking Drift partner." Min takes a deep breath and continues, "Would you rather seal the Breach or seal the Breach /and be prepared for the worst? This way there will be someone to teach and someone to pilot if the need should arise no matter what." 
Pentecost considers. Finally, "Suit up." 
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Chuck screeches. "She knows /nothing! She's useless out there!" He rounds on Min. "What could you possibly do, serve the Kaiju 'High tea and biscuits'? How the fuck can you possibly justify still working here when the PPDC could be using that money on keeping the Jaegers--"
Min decks him across the face and he drops.
"Listen, you douchebag, sure, I make coffee. I can have six hundred cups ready within twelve minutes of Breach activity. I also coordinate mail, foodstuffs, supplies, requisitions, human resources, and administration. You don't talk to me about money, I talk to *you* about money; I /am Accounting. You wanna see who knows nothing, you can do my job and try running this facility." She tosses him her tablet. "Good luck, Ranger Hansen." She wills her heart to stop pounding and faces Pentecost. "I'm sorry sir." Min tucks a lock behind her ear. "I should mention I have a temper." 
"We'll be just fine," he replies, flicking his eyes at Ranger Hansen. 
"Oh--" Min rounds on Ranger Hansen (the younger), "I forgot to add that I graduated the Academy." 
"Then why the fuck weren't you in a Jaeger," he growls.
Min pushes down her sleeve and wiggles her fingers. "Never said I wasn't." 
The kill mark dances on her wrist. 
.
"Good morning, Cousin." 
""Good morning, Min.""
"I'm doing something really stupid." 
""Okay.""
"I will either see you in a few hours or I will come back to haunt you." 
""I will leave out some cake then.""
"Thank you." 
""You're welcome.""
"I don't know if Siqi's in any good sorts, but if she is she might be up to commentating."
""I'll consider that, thank you.""
"You're welcome, Cousin. Have a nice day."
""You too, Min.""
.
puppeteer: mimi its going to feel really weird but its totally doable
puppeteer: find urself a little corner in ur head and just let ur limbs do what they want
Yeung_TM: thanks Siqi 
puppeteer: eeeh dont thank me until after u remember how no to b a puppet
puppeteer: not that ull b able to do so until then XD
Yeung_TM: action required?
puppeteer: suit *up*!
Yeung_TM: way ahead of you :D
.
"Good morning." 
""'Morning, sweetheart.""
"I'm--" Is that water sloshing? "Should I call back later?"
""It's neutralizer, brat. Got snapped up by a damn Kaiju fetus. What do you want?""
"Uh, nothing, we're about to close the Breach, that's all. See you if I see you." 
""'Bout time--what?""
"11 kilometres below the surface, anything can happen."
 
""Why would you--you are /not making the Breach run. That is not the place for tea girls or accountants or whatever it is you do. There is absolutely no reason you should be anywhere near that shitstorm and so help me if you so much as touch one of those rust buckets I will ship you off to reform school." 
"Your human is showing." 
""My human is /not showing, brat. I'm not letting Liu take this out on me.""
"Cousin knows."
 
""And agreed to this?""
"I didn't ask for permission." 
""Fucking hell, you are not stepping in that Conn-pod if I have to hold you down myself. Daiyu--!""
"We're actually just about to launch--" 
""I swear to fucking god I will kill Pentecost if he goes through with this--""
"I'm glad you weren't digested---"
""Listen, brat, you do this and you will live in a box. I will lock you in a garden and feed you like a plant.""
"I'll bring you back some pictures. Have a nice day." 
"'Have a nice day'," he scoffs. ""You are the worst accountant I've ever hired and your replacement could be a cinderblock to do better.""
"You didn't hire me." 
""Make that the most lame-brained smartass on the planet of an accountant--""
"I've already disarmed Ranger Hansen, I don't have enough of a rise left to do the same to you. Good day." 
"You fucking mor--"
Dial tone. 
"The little punk hung up on me."
.
Setsuko waits on the catwalk. "Think we can get the rights to that speech?" 
"The 'cancelling the apocalypse'?" 
"That'll be relevant tomorrow when we're dealing with the hungover zombie army, but I was thinking 'Caffeinating the Apocalypse'." 
"I'll ask," says Min. "Can you...?" 
"Sure." Setsuko uncaps her magic marker and copied it out on the shoulder piece with 'y/n'. "Mobile?"
"Oh, right, here." 
"Is it gonna do this all day?" 
"I would be surprised if it didn't." 
"Should I turn it off?" 
"It'd give them a chance to call more." 
"Hmm." Setsuko pockets it and shrugs. "Have fun." 
"Thanks. Sorry for leaving you all on your own." 
"Oh please, if you can do it--well I have no idea if I can but might as well give it a shot."
"And you've got the order--"
"Oh my god go already you're turning into a concerned parent LEAVE!" 
"I'm going, I'm going." 
.
When she can no longer see Danger or Striker, Setsuko turns away from the door and brushes past the enforcers pounding up the catwalk. 
"Missed them by just that much," she says. "Better let Liu know." 
.
After the fifteenth or sixteenth ring, Setsuko finally answers Min's mobile with her chirpiest, best salesperson voice. "Miyahira here, how can I help?" 
""The Tang brat's the second on the Breach run.""
"So /that's why she didn't show up. I'm hurt. Hurt! she didn't tell me. I can't believe it!"
.
"But we can clear a path for the lady!" 
---pull the bell bus stop get off the subway?
---you'll be fine.
---I know.
---you /will be fine.
/I'll take your word for it, sir. //my heart hurts too much I can barely breathe tomorrow is impossible--''
"It's been an honour, sir." 
"Thank you, Quartermaster." ---be good be gone
The harness folds itself up. 
""Mako! You can always find me in the Drift!""
The pod bursts from Striker (like a kick in the everything)--
""Sensei, ashiterimasu.""
The dark flashes white, then blue to orange to gold.
And that feels like a bus to the everything. 
Min's teeth and eyes threaten to rattle from her skull. 
Gold becomes ink becomes gloom becomes navy, and then blue and then white and then the pod yanks itself free from the ocean and Min flies. 
Up becomes down and white becomes blue; Min hits the side hard and lands on the hatch; blue is ink and the water rages and boils and crashes in upon itself, yanking her about, toying with her, pretending to let her go when really it would keep her forever and ever and all Min can only stare into the ink as dread floods in--
A Kaiju roars, tossing the pod from claw to claw and battering it with its tail. 
A hundred thousand monsters lurk in the dark. 
A hundred thousand monsters float between her and the surface. 
Bubbles the size of train cars keep rushing by!
Category:Ficlet
Category:Tang Min
Category:Liu
Category:Hannibal
Category:Stacker
Category:Chuck H
Category:Operation Pitfall
Category:Liu (ficlet)
Category:Hannibal (ficlet)
Category:Tang Min (ficlet)
Category:Stacker (ficlet)
Category:Herc (mention)
Category:Chuck H (ficlet)
Category:Setsuko
Category:Setsuko (ficlet)
Category:UAs