Wizard 28

Chapter 28
Richard is trying out his nifty new bird whistle. Unfortunately, all he can do is call hordes of birds; unlike the Bird Man of Alcatraz, he can't call just one bird, or one species of bird. The Squishy Soil People all laugh at him and I half expect him to murder them all, but he doesn't. The Bird Man of Alcatraz tells him to keep the whistle as “a reminder that...in this, even a child is better than you.” So it's an insult, then. Terrific.
Kahlan angsts about how she feels for Richard. Then it's time for the council of seers, which consists of the six elder, the Bird Man of Alcatraz, Richard, and Kahlan. They all get naked and are painted with mystical symbols. A basket of red “spirit frogs” is passed around, and each participant rubs a frog against their skin.
Spirit frogs? Really? That doesn't seem just a little...silly?
So they all get frogged up, and things start to look weird, and then shadow things appear. Kahlan freaks out, but they have the faces of Damp Soil People, so it's okay. The spirits possess the Bird Man of Alcatraz and the elders and interrogate Richard about how many men he's killed (two), whether he enjoyed it (the second one, yes), why he felt justified in killing them (self-defense and defense of a friend), and so on. No mention is made of the Horny Mountain Man whom Richard condemned to death, but did not have the guts to execute himself.
Richard, apparently not up on the whole “communing with the spirits” thing, tries arguing and bargaining with the spirits, which does not work. We learn that, to Richard, “the deed is not as important as the intent.” So I guess attempted murder is even worse than actual murder, to Richard. 
Richard confirms that he intended to kill the Mud People elders, then contradicts himself by saying “That I intended to wounds me almost as much as the deed would have.” Except that, on the same page, Richard just declared that the intent was more important that the deed. \~/ And Richard has never demonstrated regret or remorse for his killings, attempted killings, or almost killings. \~/
We learn that the one reason “above all others” why Richard wants to kill Darken Rahl is because if he does not, Rahl will kill Kahlan. Aww.
The spirits learn that Richard is seeking the boxes of Orden and declare that they are not allowed to answer that question, and that the gathering is over. However, they then answer several more questions, so I guess that “the gathering is over” in the same sense as when you tell someone you really have to be going, then continue to chat for another half-hour. \~/
Richard learns that Rahl has two of the magic boxes. The spirits can't tell him where the third is, or who has it, but they do tell him of someone who knows where the third box is, but who does not have it. This proves to be “the witch woman, Shota,” who lives in a place called Agaden Reach. This terrifies Kahlan, who notes that “Not even a wizard would dare to go into the Reach.” It seems that witch woman > wizard > sorceress > Seeker and Confessor.
Next, the spirits tell Richard that Darken Rahl is in the Mud People village, killing people. Richard immediately wants to rush out, grab his sword, and get a-killin', but the spirits advise against it. It seems that the mystical mud symbols painted on him hide him from Rahl, but Rahl will see him if he draws the Sword of Truth.
Richard opts to hide out in the spirit house until Rahl has left. I'm not sure why Rahl doesn't tear it apart and find him, or at least find the Sword of Truth, which is lying outside the spirit house, but he doesn't. \~/ 
Eventually, morning comes and it turns out that Rahl arrived on a “red demon” and demanded Richard. When the Racist Stereotype People couldn't produce him, he began killing children \~/, and the Damp Soil People couldn't pierce his magical protections (this is another reason it sucks to be a commoner in D&D...high-level spellcasters are basically gods).
So Rahl killed a bunch of people, snuffed out all the fires, kidnapped Siddin and flew off on his pet demon. Some of the Mud People blame Richard for this (but only the nameless ones, not the important ones). Richard swears vengeance upon Rahl and he and Kahlan leave for Agaden Reach.
Drinks: 5
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