2Pot Screama

"2Pot Screama - A Rock Opera In One Act" is a rock opera by TISM, featured on the bonus disc of the "Connoisseur's Edition" of De Rigueurmortis, released 29th October 2001 by genre b.goode and Festival Mushroom Records.
The bonus disc of the "Connoisseur's Edition" presents the opera as a single track, which runs 40 minutes and 40 seconds in length. It was later appended onto the iTunes digital edition of De Rigueurmortis, released in 2009.
==Dramatis personae== 
*2Pot Screama: a teenage boy
*Brendan: his new friend
*Stephanie: 2Pot Screama's girlfriend
*Quan: leader of the Springy Nips
*Father: Brendan’s father
*Kerry O’Brien: presenter of The 7:30 Report, ABC TV
*Devil’s choir: R***’s evil underlings (voiced by Humphrey B. Flaubert)
*Teacher
*School kids
*Party goers
*Principal
*Adult voice
*DJs
*Statisticians
*Sports stars
*Chefs
*Architects
==Lyrics== 
===Overture (0:00)=== 
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
:Yo-aaaaaaaaaa!
===Scene 1 (3:44)=== 
:(Setting: Brendan's house, Springvale, Melbourne. The 7:30 Report is on.)
:BRENDAN'S DAD: Brendan, turn it up, will you? Kerry O'Brien's got ***th on.
:BRENDAN: Dad, can't we watch Third Rock From The Sun?
:BRENDAN'S DAD: (voice rising) Turn it up!
:BRENDAN: (exasperated) Jesus...
:(The theme from The 7:30 Report plays.)
:KERRY O'BRIEN: Mr ***th, if what you say is true, does it not directly contradict your statement of yesterday?
:PE*** ***TH: Ah, Kerry, circumstances change. The government's adopting a flexible policy. Given the parameters of the figures, our opponents would agree with me that our actions are appropriate.
:BRENDAN: Oh Dad, can't we turn it over?
:BRENDAN'S DAD: Shut it! Christ, I hate this ***th guy.
:PE*** ***TH: Within the constraints of our legitimate concerns, fifty-eight percent's not a bad return. It's better than our opponents managed in their ten years in government. Thirty seven thousand million dollars have been generated - the worker, the "battler", is the person who benefits. People should listen: even teenagers benefit... even little fifteen year old boys should listen... even if they're bored on a Friday night watching The 7:30 Report... even you, Brendan... (thunderclap) (now speaking directly to Brendan) Are you listening, Brendan? I'm coming for you, Brendan... I'm coming for you... (maniacal laughter) Come, my devils, come... sing, my evil choir... tell this heinous boy who I am... (laughter)
:***TH's DEVIL CHOIR:
:We thought tax scams were devious
:We thought free beer was cheap
:We thought Nine's news egregious
:We thought it's sheep that bleat
:We thought that schoolyard bullies all
:Get smacked right in the teeth
:We thought on talkback minds were small
:Then we met Pe*** ***th
:***th, ***th, Pe*** ***th!
:***th, ***th, Pe*** ***th!
:***th, ***th, Pe*** ***th!
:***th, ***th, Pe*** ***th!
:We thought snide, supercilious
:Salesmen knocked at your door
:We thought it made us bilious
:To cast blame on the poor
:We thought being a bovver boy was
:Mike Munro's set piece
:Root canal work would annoy
:Then we met Pe*** ***th
:***th, ***th, Pe*** ***th!
:***th, ***th, Pe*** ***th!
:***th, ***th, Pe*** ***th!
:***th, ***th, Pe*** ***th! {x4}
:We thought that oil could be slick
:We thought Satan was chief
:We thought that we were vicious pricks
:Then we met Pe*** ***th
:PE*** ***TH:
:I thought Kim Beazley's arse was toast
:I thought the unions yellow
:I don't know who I hate the most:
:Peter; or Tim, Costello
:I thought that both of them should be
:Zapped with electric shock
:I thought "I'm just one big softie;"
:Then I saw Brendan's cock!
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR:
:Soft, soft, Brendan's cock!
:Soft, soft, Brendan's cock!
:Soft, soft, Brendan's cock!
:Soft, soft, Brendan's cock!
:PE*** ***TH:
:What light in yonder window breaks?
:It is Stephanie, aloft
:But Brendan ain't got what it takes:
:Hmm, let me quote the Bard: he's... soft
:I thought Neil Blewitt's the one bent
:I thought Dubai a bungle
:I thought we'd solved unemployment
:Then I saw Brendan's mongrel
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR:
:Soft, soft, Brendan's cock!
:Soft, soft, Brendan's cock!
:Soft, soft, Brendan's cock!
:Soft, soft, Brendan's cock!
:BRENDAN: Why do you torment me so?
:PE*** ***TH: Look at yourself, sitting there watching The 7:30 Report with your dad. That's fucking pathetic, man!
:BRENDAN: But I didn't want to watch it!
:PE*** ***TH: Oh-ho-ho yes, Third Rock From The Sun, that's what you wanted. Third Rock From The Fucking Sun, what next? You gonna really go wild and watch Burke's Backyard? Oh, fuck me, man, that's RAD. That's SICK, that's MAD!
:BRENDAN: But--
:PE*** ***TH: The Nanny? You gonna watch The Nanny? You should, mate, 'cause you NEED one!
:BRENDAN:
:In the middle of the Gibson the spinifex is sparse
:You're standing in the buttcrack of Satan's lonely arse
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR: 
:There's zero life on Venus and on Mars it's pretty shite!
:BRENDAN:
:But for true desolation, try my place on Friday night
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR:
:Wall to wall, wall to wall
:Wall to wall fuck all
:BRENDAN:
:You can only play Nintendo for a few days in a row
:Before you start to wonder where the non-virtual people go
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR:
:There's parties and there's discos, there's wickedness and sin
:BRENDAN:
:What's happening at my place - now they wouldn't let me in
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR:
:Wall to wall, wall to wall
:Wall to wall fuck all
:BRENDAN:
:My dad, he's watching telly, my mum, she's washing up
:I told them both it's stereotyped, they told me to shut up
:It's seven thirty-eight precisely - oh, it's just gone thirty-nine
:Soon it'll be seven forty, you know what happens at that time...
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR:
:Wall to wall, wall to wall
:Wall to wall fuck all
:PE*** ***TH: I can help you, Brendan! I will send you one who will show you how to get out of this hell. They call him: 2Pot Screama.
:BRENDAN: Where do I meet this 2Pot Screama?
:PE*** ***TH:He... will... be... sent.... (laughs)
:(Brendan's vision ends, ***th's voice loses its demonic reverb.)
:PE*** ***TH: (on TV) As I was saying, Kerry - and I wish you'd listen to me - when the figures are seasonally adjusted it shows conclusively that in terms of performance based contracts there is little or no evidence that what the Opposition is saying is correct; indeed even our opponents would conclude that...
:BRENDAN'S DAD: Brendan... Brendan! Wake up, kid! Turn this crap over, will ya? I wanna watch Burke's Backyard!
:BRENDAN: Wha?
:BRENDAN'S DAD: (to himself) Oh...world of his own. Channel 9. I'm sick of Pe*** ***th. He's full of it. (to Brendan) Son, I don't want you ever believing anything that man tells you!
:BRENDAN: No, dad.
===Scene 2 (12:38)=== 
:(Setting: Brendan's state secondary college, Springvale. The bell rings.)
:TEACHER: Jason, Jason, I've asked you once. Jason, sit.
:JASON: Ya mum.
:TEACHER: What?
:JASON: Ya mum!
:TEACHER: Just find a seat!
:STEPHANIE: Sir, you said we'd have the test today. I studied last night.
:TEACHER: Yes, Stephanie. I know. If people would just... ah, Jason, SIT!!!
:JASON: Ya mum!!
:TEACHER: Here's the test question: Macbeth's downfall is due to his own evil, not the witches'.
:JASON: Fuck ya mum!!!
:TEACHER: (shocked) What did you say?
:JASON:
:O teacher it’s recess: the bell went, it’s later!
:I’ve got to go see the coordinator!
:My pumper is broken, with asthma I seethe!
:Oh teacher, oh teacher, I’m unable to breathe!
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR:
:Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I
:Can I get out of class please?
:JASON:
:The speaker just called me up to the Head.
:My parents have split up, my dog: he's dead.
:To Mecca I must pray! My toes, they will freeze
:The law says you must! It’s one hundred degrees!
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR:
:Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I
:Can I get out of class please?
:JASON:
:I’ve a doctor’s appointment, I’ve landed a job.
:I’ve contracted cancer, I’ve a bank to rob.
:Famine, war, hunger, pestilence, disease!
:Will devour the world lest you hear my pleas!
:***TH'S DEVIL CHOIR:
:Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I
:Can I get out of class please? Yeah!
:Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I
:Can I get out of class please?
:TEACHER: Yeah, well it’ll get you out of here, I suppose.
:JASON: Brendan wants to come too.
:BRENDAN: What?
:JASON: Shut up! Sir, can Brendan come?
:TEACHER: Go, the both of you.
:JASON:
:Oh teacher, I thank you! I’ll be back so quick.
:You’re a good man, and trusting, and kind to the sick.
:(sotto voce) We’re off to the dunnies, you witless sucker!
:We’re smoking a joint, then spraying your car!
:(Noise of class recedes. Sound of toilet flushing, match scratching, and cigarette being lit.)
:JASON: You want one?
:BRENDAN: Nah!
===Outro (39:33)=== 
:(Sound of teenagers laughing and partying.)
:PE**** ***TH:
:Curse these teenager ideals!
:Fools, you'll soon see how it feels!
:I'm beaten, but not for good!
:Wait till you see adulthood! (laughs)
:(Partying continues during fade out.)
==External links and references==
*The TISM Wiki at archive.org
Category:Songs
Category:TISM songs
Category:De Rigeurmortis
Category:Pages imported from The TISM Wiki