Transcript:The Worthiest Knight, Pt. 3

ACT THREE:
 EXT. Crab’s Claw Inn - Simultaneous
 NARRATOR
 Brennen and Regan had just deduced that a dangerous
 knight by the name of Jasper Frieshelm, executioner for
 Ardel Redmoor, was in pursuit of the remainder of our
 party. They had also just deduced that Jen had murdered
 an officer of the law, that someone in their party had
 burned down a tavern, and that Angie Fallon and her
 husband were amenable to allowing a third sexual
 partner into their marriage. Well, that last point was
 deduced mostly by Regan.
 In the mud outside Fallon’s inn, Brennen had found
 seven sets of horse prints in perfect formation. This
 last detail being very unusual for Armstrungard,
 Brennen and Regan followed the tracks at a jog, hoping
 they would lead to Sir Frieshelm.
 BRENNEN
 Galadon help us. How did it come to this?
 REGAN
 Billy probably started some shit with McShane. Not that
 there weren’t a million good reasons to off that
 motherfucker. But I’m sure Billy found a stupid one.
 Early the Past Morning
 IMAGINING - INT. Madame Bailey’s 
 BILLY
 I know you fuck kids and all, but what really gets me
 is what you said about me, or my mom, or Jen’s ass. I
 don’t know. Why am I doing this? I’m having a really
 hard time understanding the motivations of someone I
 have no respect for.
 BRENNEN
 (V.O.)
 I’d counsel you to try harder, your Grace. We’ll never
 find the truth that way.
 REGAN (V.O.)
 Yeah, fair enough.
 BILLY
 Anyways, fuck you and fuck your stupid face.
 REGAN (V.O.)
 And fine. Billy’s probably good for one decent dummy
 punch. So the fucker falls, and happens to grab at a
 table as he goes. A knife happened to be sitting on the
 table, he knocks it over [imitates cutting sound] nicks
 his throat, and the town rumor mill turns it into a
 stabbing. Then Jen comes in and sees.
 JEN
 Billy? Oh no! This is terrible but I’ll stand by you
 because I only like myself when boys like me.
 REGAN (V.O.)
 Of course, that’s exactly when the city guard shows up.
 SOUND: IMPROBABLY MANY BOOTS, HALTING BEFORE NEXT LINE
 GUARDSMAN
 Halt! In the name of the council and people of
 Armstrungard.
 BILLY
 Someone I’m obsessed with protecting actually needs my
 protection for once. I’m getting out of here.
 REGAN (V.O.)
 So he fucks off to yellahold and Jen’s there standing
 over a bloody corpse with her thumb up her ass.
 BRENNEN
 (V.O.)
 Possible. Or...Suppose the death happened exactly as
 you said, but then Jen said to Billy,
 Imagining - Same 
 JEN
 Give me the knife and flee, by... Galadon’s grace!
 A BEAT.
 JEN (cont’d)
 I am having some difficulty capturing young Jen’s
 manner of speaking.
 REGAN (V.O.)
 You get a feel for it with practice. Like choking a
 man. Which reminds me, you wanna know something about
 Fallon?
 JEN
 As I was saying, flee Billy! I’ll take the blame.
 They’ll be more lenient with a girl.
 REGAN
 Gods, I hope she’s not that stupid.
 EXT. Mud Road in Armstrungard - Night
 
 NARRATOR
 They ran along horse tracks in the mud for still a
 while longer, but, unsurprisingly, gained little
 ground.
 REGAN
 Stop. We gotta stop.
 BRENNEN
 We must not lag, Your Grace.
 REGAN
 Brennen. We’re not gonna outrun horses. We gotta try
 figure out where they’re going and get there before
 they do. That’s the only way to get out in front of
 this Frieshelm guy.
 BRENNEN
 You don’t understand how tough the man is. He’ll be
 relentless.
 REGAN
 Yeah but the kids’ll need to rest at some point. I just
 hope the elf and the preacher are--
 (A LIGHTBULB)
 --brilliant.
 NARRATOR
 Needless to say, that was not the descriptor Brennen
 was expecting. He stopped his run suddenly.
 BRENNEN
 What is it?
 REGAN
 You see that rocky hill over there? About 3 miles that
 way?
 BRENNEN Aye.
 REGAN
 There’s a monastery up top. The way up’s a bitch. Damn
 near impossible for horses.
 BRENNEN
 As an acolyte, Nia may have been allowed lodging there.
 REGAN
 And I know a back door. This way.
 EXT. Crab’s Claw Inn - A Few Hours Ago 
 NARRATOR
 Some hours earlier, Nia had indeed led Yllowyyn and the
 children through the tunnels to the very same inn,
 owned by Regan’s friend Jackie Fallon. Yllowyyn
 surveyed the establishment skeptically.
 YLLOWYYN
 And this place is?
 NIA
 Not currently on fire or surrounded by city guard.
 BILLY
 Can we get some food here? I’m fucking starving.
 NIA
 "Food" is a charitable description. But they usually
 have a few things available which resemble mattresses.
 INT. Room In The Inn - Half an Hour Later 
 NARRATOR
 The group procured food, and then rooms for a brief
 rest.
 At her first opportunity, Jen pulled Billy into one of
 the rooms, pushed him onto a straw bed and began
 kissing him aggressively. She scratched at his armor,
 searching for the latch that would release his
 codpiece.
 BILLY
 --Jen. Are you...like, are you okay?
 JEN
 I’m good. I feel good.
 BILLY
 Are you sure?
 JEN Yes.
 NARRATOR
 Billy had a difficult time refusing amorous attention,
 so he accepted this answer, briefly. But the situation
 became too abnormal even for Billy, and so he managed
 to push Jen away long enough to speak.
 BILLY
 Really?
 JEN
 What’s your deal?
 BILLY
 I don’t know, EVERYTHING that’s happened since we’ve
 been here?
 JEN
 Are you gonna fuck me or what?
 NARRATOR
 Taken somewhat aback by Jen’s direct language, Billy
 pushed the girl off of him and stood up.
 BILLY
 I don’t like you like this, Jenny.
 JEN
 Like what?
 BILLY
 I dunno, you’re not yourself.
 JEN
 What’s that mean? What is myself like?
 BILLY
 You’re freaking me out, okay?
 JEN
 I thought you wanted to be a man.
 NARRATOR
 Confusion, fear, and hurt battled for dominance on
 Billy’s face. He stared uncomprehendingly at his
 girlfriend, before storming out of the room, punching
 the wall on his way and slamming the door behind him.
 INT. Hallway Continuous 
 NARRATOR (cont’d)
 Nia happened to be heading up the stairs just in time
 to observe Billy’s exodus. With some trepidation, she
 knocked on the door that the boy had just slammed. 
 NIA
 Jen, are you decent?
 JEN
 (O.S. THROUGH DOOR)
 Leave me alone. 
 INT. Room In The Inn - Continuous
 NARRATOR
 Nia entered the room regardless.
 JEN
 I said leave me alone.
 NIA
 This needs to stop.
 
 JEN
 You barely talked to the guys when they- in the cave!
 Why do I have to get cross-examined?
 NIA
 You know well enough that theirs was an accident. And
 this isn’t an examination, it’s an offer of guidance.
 JEN
 I don’t want guidance.
 INT. Crab’s Claw Inn - Simultaneous
 NARRATOR
 Down in the common room, Yllowyyn and Nelson still sat
 at the bar. Nelson was, with extreme effort, aligning
 the prongs of his fork with the tip of his knife.
 Yllowyyn was engaged in some argument with Fallon.
 YLLOWYYN
 Do you mean to tell me you can’t prepare a simple
 honeyed milk with rosewater?
 FALLON
 Watch yourself ’fore you wind up on your splintery ass
 outside.
 NARRATOR
 Billy stormed down the stairs and sat down heavily next
 to the elf.
 BILLY
 (TO FALLON)
 Beer me, dude. Women, right?
 FALLON
 My marriage is pretty great actually. You gotta be real
 honest with each other. That’s hard. But it’s worth it.
 BILLY
 (TO YLLOWYYN)
 Are your women as much of a pain in the ass as ours?
 YLLOWYYN
 No, but then we don’t refer to them as "ours." It’s
 like I was saying to my servant...
 INT. Room In The Inn - Simultaneous
 NIA
 Would you like to tell me what happened at the Lemming?
 JEN
 Not really, no.
 NIA
 Unhealed spiritual wounds are even more noxious than
 physical ones.
 JEN
 Who says I’m wounded?
 NIA
 I’m a woman of letters, I’m not--
 JEN
 --What the fuck do you know about wounds? I bet you
 still believe in unbalanced humours and that "oslit"
 bullshit, don’t you? Yeah, well I’m sick and tired of
 pretending I don’t know things I goddamn fucking jolly
 well do!
 NIA
 Firstly, you should confirm to whom you’re speaking,
 because I doubt this tantrum is meant for me. And
 secondly, the theory of oslits is--
 JEN
 --incomplete! You don’t have protons, neutrons,
 electrons, anything. That’s why you can’t do lightning
 spells. Not because they’re "blasphemous." It’s because
 you need electrons to discharge static elec--
 NARRATOR
 Jen suddenly clamped her hands over her mouth. Nia
 recoiled as if physically struck.
 NIA
 Galadon help us, Jen. Is that how the fire started? Did
 you try to do a lightning spell?
 JEN
 Okay, it was like, 80% an accident.
 Int. Crab’s Claw Inn - Continuous
 NARRATOR
 Back in the tavern, an empty space had widened around
 Yllowyyn.
 YLLOWYYN
 So have you heard the one where--
 BILLY
 --I think that’s enough human jokes for one night,
 Weenie.
 NELSON
 Yeah there’s something I don’t like about the way you
 say "Memyet."
 NARRATOR
 The elf’s idea of jokes were mercifully cut off when
 Nia stormed down the stairs, dragging a clearly
 unwilling Jen by the wrist.
 NIA
 We need to leave this place.
 YLLOWYYN
 What? Why?
 BILLY
 I’m not going anywhere until I get some sausage down my
 throat.
 A BEAT.
 BILLY (cont’d)
 Let me rephrase that--
 NIA
 --This is a city of spiritual sickness and I won’t
 abide it poisoning the children. Kalth’yr, pay our
 bill.
 EXT. Crab’s Claw Inn - Nearly Continuous 
 NARRATOR
 The group left Fallon’s inn quickly and quietly,
 heading towards the mountain and its monastery.
 Same - Like an Hour Later 
 NARRATOR
 Their departure was none too soon, as just an hour
 later, a heavily-armored knight rode up to the inn. He
 was followed by six squires carrying his standard; a
 green falcon on a white field.
 
 INT. Castle Guernatal Banquet Hall - That Same Night 
 NARRATOR
 Meanwhile, at Castle Guernatal, Ardel and Arlene
 Redmoor were dining with their guest of honor, Antonin
 of House Mooncrest. Antonin, you will recall, was the
 chosen match for Arlene in marriage. The Mooncrest
 contingent had just arrived to the castle, and this
 meal served as the first introduction of Antonin to
 Arlene.
 Arlene Redmoor had not spoken a single word since the
 arrival of the Mooncrest family. Throughout dinner, she
 did more moving around of food than actual eating.
 Antonin Mooncrest had been genially chatting with Ardel
 and the other guests at the table, but could not help
 but notice his bride-to-be’s discomfort.
 ANTONIN
 Are you not well, my lady? Or perhaps you are not
 accustomed to eating with quick sticks?
 ARLENE
 No, it’s nothing of--
 ARDEL
 --Sister, we are eating Lord Mooncrest’s favorite dish.
 You do him insult!
 NARRATOR
 Also at the table were Antonin’s father, Marcus, and
 uncle, Julius. The former was the official head of
 House Mooncrest, and had 50 years, but, sadly, was
 afflicted such that his mind was in many ways still a
 child’s. The latter was of an age with his brother, and
 assissted Antonin in the actual running of affairs.
 ARDEL
 You must forgive my sister’s atrocious manners, my
 lord.
 ANTONIN
 To be terribly honest, Lord Redmoor, after a week on
 the fields of battle, I’m much more concerned with
 enjoying my betrothal feast than I am in the finer
 points of etiquette.
 NARRATOR
 Ardel Redmoor was shocked and disappointed that anyone
 would decline an opportunity to harass his sister.
 ARDEL
 Well I suppose there will be time for discipline later.
 ANTONIN
 If you forgive me for saying, my Lord, she likely needs
 fresh air more than discipline. She must have been in
 her chambers all day preparing. And on the last day of
 autumn no less. What do you say, my lady?
 ARLENE
 That would be lovely, my lord.
 ANTONIN
 There, you see? Why don’t we all go riding before
 dessert?
 NARRATOR
 Politics is an interesting game. Such a simple offer,
 and yet both the Redmoor siblings could not help but
 hastily calculate outcomes, weigh risks and rewards,
 and seek unseen implications. Arlene dared not answer
 without knowing her brother’s intentions. Ardel himself
 was cautious, hoping to avoid a situation that might
 shift beyond the reach of his manipulation, but
 eventually resolved to speak first.
 ARDEL
 My sister is such so terribly skittish. I don’t let her
 near horses, lest the poor stupid things get scared and
 someone gets hurt.
 ANTONIN
 Then we shall take my mare Sunbeam. The damned nag is
 too lazy to bother getting scared.
 ARDEL
 I’m sure, but I’m afraid I must--
 ANTONIN
 --And it will a splendid way for my betrothed and me to
 become better acquainted. With a chaperone of course.
 NARRATOR
 Ardel could not find a reasonable excuse to deny
 Mooncrest, despite his every effort.
 ARDEL
 If you insist, my Lord.
 NARRATOR
 Arlene smiled for the first time all evening,
 perceiving that, although the terms of the battle were
 unclear, somehow her brother had lost anyway. Suddenly,
 however, the corners of Ardel’s mouth twitched upwards.
 ARDEL
 If I may recommend a chaperone...
 ANTONIN
 But of course.
 ARDEL
 I cannot speak highly enough of the character of my
 cousin, Rickard.
 NARRATOR
 Arlene’s smile died suddenly.
 ARDEL
 You remember your cousin Rickard, don’t you, sister?
 You two got along so well at your Nyy’lynni feast.
 EXT. Steep Hill in Armstrungard - Late Night
 RENNEN
 (PRE-LAP) Do me a favor, Your Grace.
 NARRATOR
 The main path from the King’s Road up to the monastary
 on the mountain was narrow, windy, and treacherous.
 Regan and Brennen were not taking the main path.
 Instead, they climbed up a back route. ’Route’ might be
 NARRATOR (cont’d)
 a generous descriptor for what they climbed. It may be
 more accurate to say ’mountain’. They climbed the
 mountain.
 BRENNEN
 Don’t tell me how you know this way. I’d rather quietly
 deceive myself into thinking my Queen has never robbed
 a monastery.
 REGAN
 Hey, whatever helps you sleep. Try not to think too
 hard about priests wearing gold while other people
 starve.
 BRENNEN
 This is a monastery, not a temple. What of value did
 they keep here?
 NARRATOR
 "Myrrrr" went a goat that happened to be passing by.
 Sometimes the spirits of nature have a poignant sense
 of irony.
 BRENNEN
 Galadon forgive me.
 NARRATOR
 Thunder rumbled ominously in the background.
 SOUND: WIND PICKS UP
 REGAN
 Come on. We gotta be off this path before that storm
 gets here.
 BRENNEN
 And before Frieshelm gets up the other side.
 INT. Monastery On The Hill - Simultaneous 
 NARRATOR
 The same thunder peal shook the inside of the
 monastery. In an upper-floor dormitory, Billy, Nelson,
 and Nia slept soundly. Yllowyyn sat guard, polishing
 his knives. A fifth bed was empty.
 INT./EXT. Bell Tower - Simultaneous
 NARRATOR
 Jen had been unable to sleep, and instead found a bell
 tower where she could look out over the plains. The
 storm matched her own brooding.
 EXT. Gates Of The Monastery - Simultaneous
 NARRATOR
 Near the front gate, an elderly monk heard footsteps on
 the path, and had gone to the door to welcome any more
 travelers out of the weather. As the door opened,
 Frieshelm drove his sword through the monk’s chest.
 He then turned to his men.
 FRIESHELM
 Remember. We want the elf alive. Everyone else, kill on
 sight.
 END OF ACT THREE.
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