The Giving Tree

Space Tree is charitable. So is Mee. And Allon. And Tarbob. Only the Commander isn't. Also Christopher 1 breaks the Space Record in standing next to his brother, who gets slapped.
== Transcript ==
(open to Space Tree in the Captain's Club, boring Christopher 1 to sleep with a graph)
SPACE TREE: ...So, you see, with several simple donations, you could be helping starving space families all over... space.
CHRISTOPHER 1: Yeah, right, Space Tree. Do you REALLY think I'm gonna fall for this scam?
SPACE TREE: No, it's not a scam. This is the real diz-eal.
CHRISTOPHER 1: I wasn't born yesterday, my friend, and neither was my brother. I bet that guy with the chin put you up to this, didn't he?
(enter the guy with the chin... Mee)
MEE: Hey, man, I had nothing to do with this scam.
SPACE TREE: It's not a scam-
CHRISTOPHER 1: (to Mee) Well, if you had nothing to do with it, then what are you doing here?
MEE: Well, obviously to defend myself against these slanderous allegations.
CHRISTOPHER 1: (to himself, mumbling) Yeah, I'll allegate you in a minute...
MEE: Did you just call me an alligator?!
SPACE TREE: OK, whatever. Are you going to donate something to the less fortunate or not, Chirstophers?
CHRISTOPHER 1: Uh, no.
SPACE TREE: Oh, come on, stop being so cheap. I did have a near-death experience, you know.
CHRISTOPHER 1: Oh, you wanna talk "near-death"? Take a look at my brother here.
(pan over to the left to see Christopher 2, pale and passed out)
SPACE TREE: Yeah, what the hell's his problem? He doesn't know how to say "hello"?
CHRISTOPHER 1: No, he's sick! Look at him, he's not even conscious right now.
(Mee walks over to Chris 2 and slaps him in the face)
MEE: His story checks out!
CHRISTOPHER 1: Don't slap my brother.
MEE: What're you gonna do about it, alligator? (he slaps Chris 2 again)
SPACE TREE: Sorry, Christopher, but he just doesn't look less fortunate enough. See ya. (he leaves)
(Mee slaps again)
(cut to a transition screen reading "Loading est. shot...", but changes to "Est. shot not found)
(cut to Space Tree and the Warden at some other place, with a silver box with the word "metal" on it)
SPACE TREE: Here you go, sir. I brought these scraps of metal for the homeless.
WARDEN: Thank you, friend. That's very generous of you.
SPACE TREE: (Dons sunglasses) It sure is. Hey, aren't you that warden down at the space prison?
WARDEN: Indeed I am, but I like to work part-time here at the homeless shelter, helping people who are less fortunate than I.
SPACE TREE: (No sunglasses) Really? Well, I work full time helping the less fortunate, so...I'm not saying I'm better than you, but, uh...y'know.
(As he's speaking, the Black Kid arrives and steals the box.)
SPACE TREE: People wanna call me a hero, that's their deal. I mean, I'm not doing this for the fame, so-
WARDEN: Uhh, yeah. Thanks again for the metal scraps.
SPACE TREE: Hey, it's no problem at all. Tomorrow I'll bring ya some cardboard.
(Cut to Space Tree's ship. Cut to Space Tree watching Tarbob on Channel K News, with a picture of himself in the inset)
TARBOB: And that's tonight's news. Tune in tomorrow for my exclusive interview with Phillip Seymour Horseman, where we talk about...
SPACE TREE: Oh, come on! There wasn't even one mention of me, and/or my generous donations.
(The Commander walks in)
COMMANDER: So what, Space Tree? I thought you weren't doing this for the fame.
SPACE TREE: I'm NOT, Commander. You calling me a liar?
COMMANDER: ... No?
SPACE TREE: That's good, because I don't see YOU helping anyone. I mean, I give, and I give, and I give, but what do I get in return? I get you calling me a lying Italian Jew. Which is ridiculous 'cause I'm not even Jewish.
COMMANDER: Sorry, Space Tree. I - I didn't mean it...
SPACE TREE: Yeah, well, you should be sorry. I just hope that someday, I can find it in my heart to forgive you...you sick bastard. (Leaves)
COMMANDER: Gee whiz. I better find a way to make it up to him.
(Cut to Commander on the phone.)
COMMANDER: Hi, is this Channel K News? Well, I'd like to make a request to do a story on a very giving, generous friend of mine, who I think may very well be the most charitable tree in the universe.
(Cut to Tarbob on the phone.)
TARBOB: Hey, you listen to me! I grant the wishes of dying people in my spare time, so if anyone in the most charitable tree in the universe, it's ME!
(Cut back and forth according to dialogue)
COMMANDER: So... you won't do the story then?
TARBOB: Hell no!
COMMANDER: Well, fine then! I don't care! I'll just call a different TV station!
TARBOB: You mean there's more than one?!
(Cut to Space Tree at the Space Captain's Club. Caption: Later, at the Space Captains' Club.")
SPACE TREE: So Christophers, I thought about it a bit, and I actually would like to help you out, (takes out box) by donating this box of fish bones.
(Tahoma Fresh comes in.)
TAHOMA FRESH: Hi there. You must be Space Tree The Space Tree.
SPACE TREE: Uh, yeah. Who are you?
TAHOMA FRESH: I'm Tahoma Fresh from Chanelle J News, (logo pops up) and I'm here to do a story about you and your supposedly charitable activities.
SPACE TREE: Oh, really? Cool. I mean - I'm not actually doing this for the fame, but...
TAHOMA FRESH: Oh, okay then. Bye. (She starts to leave)
SPACE TREE: No, wait! I - if you wanted to label me as a hero, y'know, I'll just - have to accept it. The label, I mean.
(She turns back)
TAHOMA FRESH: Well, my first question is about how awesome you are.
SPACE TREE: Well, here's my very long answer.
MEE: Hey! Do you want to see something REALLY awesome? Well, ch - check THIS out.
(Cut to Mee continuing to slap Christopher 2.)
MEE: I've been slapping this guy in the face for twenty-three hours straight.
TAHOMA FRESH: Twenty-three hours straight?! Wow! That's a new space record!
CHRISTOPHER 1: Yes, and I've been standing here the whole time, because...business has been pretty slow.
TAHOMA FRESH: Now that you've broken the space record, do you think you'll be able to go on to break the universe record?
MEE: Well, it's not gonna be easy, but I am very charitable.
TAHOMA FRESH: Sir, if I weren't holding a microphone, I'd give you a round of applause right now. Followed by a hand-job.
SPACE TREE: Oh, what in the hell does slapping someone in the face have to do with being charitable?
(The Commander arrives, with makeup and a bowtie.)
COMMANDER: Oh my God! Space Tree! I came here as fast as I could. Is it true that some brave, generous person is breaking the face slapping record?
(Cut to Mee slapping Christopher 2, on television.)
TAHOMA FRESH: Meelord Marone continued slapping him in the face for a further seventeen hours, until Christopher finally decided to walk into another room.
(Christopher leaves the room. Cut to Tahoma again.)
TAHOMA FRESH: And that's the story of Mee Marone...
(Cut to a picture of Mee on a throne, wearing a crown.)
TAHOMA FRESH: ... the most charitable man in the universe. Way better than this jerk.
(Cut to a picture of Space Tree, in a prison uniform, with a rifle in his mouth. Cut back to Tahoma.)
TAHOMA FRESH: Why, if he were here right now, I'd totally start making out with him all over this news desk.
(Cut to Space Tree, The Commander, and Mee watching this on TV.)
MEE: Well, I gotta go.
(Cut back to Tahoma.)
TAHOMA FRESH: And that's all tonight from Channel J News. Remember, we're one letter higher than Channel K.
(Mee enters the studio, approaching Tahoma. Cut back to Space Tree and the Commander.)
COMMANDER: Well, Space Tree, I guess it just goes to show you that, no matter how charitable you THINK you are, you're not as charitable as Mee Marone.
SPACE TREE: Whatever. At least I'm more charitable than Allon.
COMMANDER: Well, THAT'S true.
(Cut to Allon, who has no limbs.)
ALLON: It sure is.
(Cut back to Space Tree and the Commander, looking at him. Cut back to Allon.)
ALLON: And by the way, I donated my limbs to a starving homeless quadriplegic girl. Just in case you were wondering.
SPACE TREE: Nobody was wondering that, you self-centered dick.
COMMANDER: Uhh... I was.
SPACE TREE: Oh...Sorry.
ALLON: Apology accepted.
SPACE TREE: I wasn't talking to you, you friggin' egomaniac.
ALLON: Okay! You don't like me! We get it!
(Cut to the end screen, with the sound of Mee's slapping.)
== Easter Eggs ==
* Near the bottom left of the end screen there's hidden text saying "there's no easter egg in this one."
* If you right click on the Flash file and select "Play" on the end screen, the word "...really" appears.
== Fun Facts ==
* If you zoom in on the pie chart you can see that it doesn't have any real data, it just labels the colors of the pie (i.e. red is marked red, blue as blue, etc.).
== References ==
* The pie chart is the same as the one in Business Opportunity, which, in both cases, was only seen in the Captains Club.
* Mee saying "Ch-check this out" is the same thing that Space Tree said in Commander in a Dress.
* The Commander wearing makeup and a bow-tie is from Kill or Kick.
* Mee sitting on a throne smoking in Tahoma's show is from The Crown.
* Space Tree in prison with the shotgun refers to a similar scene from I'm Gonna Kill You in the Space.
*The Giving Tree is a real children's book by author Shel Silverstein, also featuring an anthropomorphic tree that is very generous.
== Commentary Track ==
Found on the May 2006 Secret Page.
With "Ed Atlin"
"Ed Atlin": Alright, this is episode 43, this is Ed Atlin, I'm sitting here in uh, the courvoisier(?) room, and when I was writing this episode, um, I was inspired by business, of course, as you see the chart, the pie chart with different labels.. And, the biggest thing that I was writing about was uh- oh there's Mee Marone, you know, my favorite character, he's all wiry and he's got holes in his head, and his ear, and he's got his uh gold chain and he wears you know, pants that are also his shoes.. And um, when I was thinking of, uh, you know, this episode, it was actually inspire by the time my uh, my little brother was in a coma, and.. I, you know, I went to the hospital one day, and, so I was basically just slapping the shit out of him, but, um.. yeah, he died.. but uh, a few weeks later I animated this episode and you know, tribute or whatever, and it was.. Pretty, pretty fantastic.. 
... Oh yeah.. So, um, I also brought this guy back, look at him. Look at him. He's uh, the prison guy and uh, uhhh... So there's a little story behind the, why Space Tree wears shades, is uhh.. Uhh, whenever he would- oh, that box in the background, that box wa- it originally wasn't gonna say metal, it was gonna say something else because you know, there's a black guy behind it, and uhh.. shit... you know, I get paid by Keentoons to animate this and they wouldn't let me write anything offensive like "cornbread" on that box for the.. uhh, I- y'know, I tried- oh, letter K, letter K, letter K... Um, there's a story behind that. See, in the writers room which is actually, eh y'know just me and my right hand, and a- a beer or whatever we do in Australia.. Uhh, we- we, we we were thinkin- we were watching this documentary on Sesame Street and you know, they- it occurred to me that every single episode of Sesame Street, uh there was, they had a l-, a letter and, y'know they'd say it a bunch of times so y'know the kid would remember it, and y'know they said it over and over again and I was sitting, I was going "K.. K.. OK, OK yeah, see, see, see there's an idea right there. 
So, this phone scene, um was inspired by this time I was arguing with my girlfriend, about um, y'know how she wouldn't do things for me, and.. but, um, there's, um.. the RAW foundations, that- that, I saw that when I was riding my bike down to, I dunno, the Bayou, and uhhh, RAW, is uh, also... Oh, yeah yeah, this scene, this scene, yeah I remember this, I- I wrote it, I animated it, yeah see here's the fix box, y'know.. Oh, look, look, look, look, we got the news reporter. This- this woman was actually inspired by this one time I was on the phone with my ex-girlfriend arguing about uh, y'know how she wouldn't do things for me.. And um, so that's her walking away just like my girlfriend walked away from me.. And, um, it's- it's, y'know it's OK because she comes right back, see. And, he's- oh, oh, oh, here he comes, here he comes. So I was watching Happy Days and there's this one scene where Fonz was just slapping this, this comatose dude out, in-inside the, y'know inside his-  he slapped inside his face.. And um, then y'know all these girls came up to the Fonz and they were like "Oh my God, Arthur Fonzarelli, you're so attractive, hehhhehhehehheeehhh...".. and, so, after that I um, I incorporated in the way I felt when I saw that Happy Days episode into that, that shit.. 
.. and, oh yeah, I, I, I.. This, is, y'know, the makeup, thing was, y'know my, my uh, heheh my, my little brother, he went into my mom's draw and he asked if he could put makeup on me and I said, well.. Yeah! ... Of course! ... So, that's, that's actually, um, yeah those things are references to things.. And, um.. This is- this, this, y'know I- I got a letter from the head of Keentoons saying y'know this might be going a little to far with the sexual joke and I, I- y'know I wrote back and I had my people talk to them and they talked to me, and it went back and forth and back and forth, finally I got what I wanted, and.. I think- y'know, I only got a few complaints.. I got more complaints with- from him having no arms and legs, y'know, fuckin' Allon, sittin' there, fuckin' limbless, y'know.. and, uh.. so, I uh.. Hold on, he says a really important line right here.. There we go... So this is the replay menu, uhh.. I specifically designed it so it would make people think that there was an easter egg but, haha, joke's on you, faggots! ... Alright, alright, I'm outta here, I gotta go hop on a kangaroo and throw a boomerang around.. Hahaheheeh.... Bye. 
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