Party Crash Course/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Party Crash Course".
== ==
(An audience of Trolls are whistling and cheering near the stage. Poppy appears from the curtains.)
Poppy: (Holding a microphone) This is it, Trolls! Put your hands together for…
All: WILD CARD PARTY WEEKEND! (The crowd cheers again.)
Poppy: We’re mixing things up and letting the wheel decide who gets to host the weekend’s big shindig! (Biggie shows the wheel.)
Smidge: Big party. Big party. (She grabs Cooper’s neck.) BIG PARTY!
Poppy: (As Biggie spins the wheel) And the host of this weekend’s party is… (The wheel lands on DJ Suki’s face.) DJ Suki! Come on down!
DJ Suki: Oh… tight. (She comes down and looks at Dr. Moonbloom, who has a pocket of blue glitter. Then they wink at each other. DJ Suki moans and faints. Poppy gasps in shock.)
Troll #1: Oh! (The crowd gasps loudly.)
Dr. Moonbloom: Everyone, stand back. I’m a doctor.
All: We know!
Smidge: You say that every time you make an entrance.
Dr. Moonbloom: This Troll is burning up. (The crowd gasps again.) She clearly has a very contagious strain of Sparkle Fever.
DJ Suki: Dang. (The crowd gasps once more. A baby hides in Gia’s hair. Another Troll puts on a mask.)
Dr. Moonbloom: The prognosis isn’t fatal so long as she doesn’t host any parties this weekend. (She carries DJ Suki away to rest and recover.)
Smidge: A sickness that keeps her from hosting parties on the night she’s picked to host a party? Isn’t that a little weird?
Cooper: No weirder than this. (He poops some cupcakes.)
Smidge: Good point. (She and Cooper walk away. Poppy steps on the blue glitter.)
Poppy: Huh? (She picks up the bag and becomes suspicious.) Hm. (Meanwhile, Dr. Moonbloom and DJ Suki are almost at her pod and stop.)
DJ Suki: Thanks for the “diagnosis,” Doc. Here’s that mixtape I promised you.
Dr. Moonbloom: As a doctor, this charade violates every ethic I hold dear. But your jams are just too good. (She walks away with the mixtape. DJ Suki then turns around and sees an angry Poppy.)
Poppy: I knew you didn’t have Sparkle Fever!
DJ Suki: Ah! Poppy? Where am I? Who am I? Whose hands are these?!
Poppy: Urgh. You don’t have amnesia either, DJ. (DJ Suki barks like a dog.) Or rabies.
DJ Suki: (Wiping the drool of her face) Dang. (sighs) Sorry, I just can’t host that Wild Card Party. Or any party, ever.
Poppy: Wait. Suki, are you saying you’ve never hosted a party before?
DJ Suki: I did once. It was supposed to be a foam party, but turned out to be… a nightmare. (We go the past where she is hosting her foam party.) I couldn’t keep track of all the details. I had punch, but no cups. Dip but no chips. And the recipe for the Foam Bug, it was so complicated.
Past DJ Suki: Two parts soap, six and two-thirds tea spoons baking powder, eye of newt, 12 cups carbonated water… pinch of eight-fifths and half the second ton of… (She grunts and grabs the ingredients.)
DJ Suki: So I panicked. (Her past self puts the ingredients into the bug’s mouth. Then it begins to spit out hundreds of bubbles. The crowd screams and runs away from the bubbles. Soon, they get trapped in them.)
Past Smidge: Oh, my Guh! (We go back to the present.)
Poppy: Well, at least no-one who got bubbled up was hurt.
DJ Suki: Tell that to the Troll that never came down.
Poppy: Who, Toby? That was his choice.
Toby: (Floating by) Bubble dancing forever!
DJ Suki: Still, parties are just too overwhelming for me.
Poppy: But you deejay.
DJ Suki: That’s different. When I deejay, I feel the flow like… (The screen turns black and spotlights of Trolls appear.) OH! (She makes some deejay sounds.)
Poppy: DJ! Party hosting is the same way. Once you learn it, you feel the flow. And I have the perfect thing to help with the learning part. (She takes out a card with a pop-up.)
Pop-up: Poppy’s Party Crash Course!
Poppy: The refresher course I teach on all things celebratory. Once you pass, throwing a party will be like… Waka-waka bom! Tch-tch-tch! You’re better at it than I am.
DJ Suki: You really think I can do this? (Poppy nods.) Then I say… let’s get this party class started! (She throws the card away and dances with Poppy. (The next morning, Poppy’s class starts after the bell rings. Smidge is her assistant.)
Poppy: All right, party people, class is in session.
Cooper: Party class? I thought you said “classy party.” I’m way overdressed. (He puts on a top hat. The camera moves out to reveal him wearing a tuxedo.)
Poppy: I’m your teacher, and this is my teacher’s assistance.
Smidge: (Pointing a ruler) NO TALKING!
Poppy: (Moving Smidge’s ruler down.) Anyway, now, hosting a great party is a big job. But don’t worry. We’re gonna take it nice and slow. OK? So let’s start with a real simple question. (Smidge turns the chart into a formula chart.) Who can tell me all 118 elements on the Party-odic Table?
DJ Suki: (As the students raise their hands) Huh?
Troll #2: (Throwing streamers) Decorations!
Troll #3: (Putting acoustics in his ears) Acoustics!
Troll #4: (Popping out of another Troll’s hair) Guest dynamics!
Troll #5: Balloon animal composition!
Poppy: Uh-uh. Wait until you’re called on. Smidge, wanna pick someone? (DJ Suki slumps nervously.)
Smidge: How about Cooper?
DJ Suki: Phew!
Smidge: Uh, sorry, read that wrong. DJ Suki!
DJ Suki: Uh…
Smidge: DJ? (Objects fly out of the chart as DJ Suki panics. Two halves of it appear and she runs as one of them tries to crush her.)
DJ Suki: Argh!
Poppy: DJ? DJ? (DJ Suki opens her eyes.) Class is over. Are you OK? After I asked you that question, you went into a fugue state for like… four hours.
DJ Suki: Uh, the good kind of fugue state, where I got the answer right?
Poppy: No.
DJ Suki: Dang! I had no idea there was so much to learn.
Poppy: We Trolls do take our party-hosting pretty seriously. But trust me, it will only get easier from here. (The next day, she stops the bell from ringing.) If you want a perfect party punch, you have to stick to the exact formula.
Smidge: The exact formula! (The two students get the formula right by pouring the blue liquid and then the red liquid. But DJ Suki puts them in in the wrong order. A skeleton appears and melts her table as she runs away screaming. Later, the students are cutting piñatas.)
Poppy: For a crowd-pleasing burst of candy from your piñata, apply pressure to the candimus maximus. (The students cut their piñatas right while DJ Suki doesn’t. The skeleton reappears and she screams. Later, the class is doing gym.)
DJ Suki: Wait! What does this have to do with parties?
Poppy: Nothing. But what’s school without dodgeball?! (She blows the whistle. The students throw their dodgeballs at DJ Suki. In the end, Poppy helps her up.) It’s OK. You can do this. (Later that night, DJ Suki is practicing in her pod,)
DJ Suki: Urgh. (She falls asleep and wakes up.) No, Suki. You’re going to do this. “Mustard is to hot dog, as frosting is to what kind of food?” All food, including hot dogs! Yes! Love me a frosting dog! (She takes out a hot dog with frosting and takes a bite. The next day, Poppy is showing an invitation to her class.)
Poppy: When you read this invitation, what themes do you think the author was trying to convey? (DJ Suki raises her hand.) DJ?
DJ Suki: Well, ostensibly, the theme is backyard barbeque. But when I looked again, I started to think it was also… an anniversary?
All: Wow!
Cooper: It works on so many levels! (After that, DJ Suki is showing her math answer on the board.)
DJ Suki: Using Trollstein’s Principle, solve for the loudest item, apply the Cacophony Theorem, take the square root, carry the six, and the ideal ratio of sparklers to noisemakers is three to one!
Poppy: Looks like we have a party! (The class cheers. Later, they are doing gym. DJ Suki uses her hair to suck up the balls like a vacuum and shoots them at her classmates. Then she jumps into the air.) YES!!! (Back in regular class, Poppy is announcing the final exams.)
Poppy: Tomorrow is the first day of final exams. Using supplies I provide, each of you will get two hours to throw a bash for your classmates. Smidge, who will go first? (DJ Suki slumps again.)
Smidge: Aspen Heitz.
DJ Suki: Phew!
Smidge: Sorry, read that wrong. DJ Suki!
DJ Suki: Dang. (She falls head-first on her desk. The school bell rings and the class leaves.)
Poppy: Check the schedule for your slot and be at the amphitheater on time. You get two hours, no exceptions! (She sees a nervous DJ Suki.) Uh, DJ, aren’t you going home,
DJ Suki: No. Gonna cram all night. Got munchies, jug of drinking water, and another jug for… Let’s just say I’m not moving for ANY reason.
Poppy: Oh, DJ, don’t stay up all night. You’ve already learned everything you need to know. Now, you just gotta relax and feel the flow.
DJ Suki: Sorry. Can’t talk. Too focused.
Poppy: (sighs) Well, uh, OK. Just don’t push yourself too hard.
DJ Suki: I won’t. (After Poppy and Smidge leave, she gets ready.) Let the all-night cram jam begin! Question 1! (She falls asleep until the next day and the bell rings.) Huh?! I overslept I’m late for the final! (She runs to Poppy and Smidge.)
Poppy: DJ, there you are.
DJ Suki: How much time do I have left?
Smidge: Only 40 minutes. Nope. Read it wrong. 20 minutes! (DJ Suki gasps in horror.)
Poppy: I’m so sorry, Suki. I’d give you more time, but the rest of the class is already on their way.
Smidge: 19:55! 19:54!
DJ Suki: Oh, man! This is the opposite of tight.
Poppy: Forget the time. Look, there are your supplies and all the Fuzzlings you need to throw a killer bash. (DJ Suki hyperventilates and memories flow in her mind.) We Trolls to take our party-hosting pretty seriously. You can do this, DJ! You caused the bubbles?
DJ Suki: Parties are too overwhelming for me.
Smidge: Oh, my Guh! (DJ Suki kneels down.)
Poppy: Hey! You’ve worked really hard. You know parties. You can do this, DJ! Just feel the flow. (Her voice echoes in DJ Suki’s mind. She imagines herself throwing an amazing party.)
DJ Suki: Drop the beat, y’all!
Smidge: What’s she doing?
Poppy: She’s… feeling the flow.
DJ Suki: (Pouring cake batter) Oh! (She puts the two pans of red cake batter in an oven bug, creates red ribbons on the tables and places the plates.) Ooh-ooh! (She pours water into glass cups from flowers, places them on the table, and tops them with cherries.) Yeah!  (She pours streamers into a bug and shoots them out. A flying bug carries her around to help her.) You all ready for this?! (She wraps a red, blue, yellow, and pink banner around a tree, puts cheese and tomatoes on a hot dog bun, uses a spiked bug to shoot at cheese and put them on a plate, and takes out the cakes. (She puts yellow icing on the cakes and puts them on top of each other. The icing now has the word PARTY in hot pink icing along with teal, pink, and blue sprinkles.) Oh, yeah! (She pulls a rope and a disco ball appears.)
Smidge: And time! (She sees the party ready.) Huh? (Biggie puts the ribbons down and the students run in.)
Cooper: Oh, yeah! OK!
DJ Suki: Wow! You guys are really punctual.
Cooper: Whoo! Hey, look, y’all! Punch AND cups! This party’s crazy. (He eats the cups and drinks the whole bowl of punch. A Fuzzling shoots some pink ice cream into bowls for the students.)
Smidge: An open ice cream bar? A plus!
Toby: Yo, Trolls, looks sick from up here! (As he laughs, his bubble pops and he falls down. Some bugs shoot cupcakes into the students’ mouths.)
Troll #6: (Dancing with a pink Troll) Oh, yeah!
Troll #7: Woo-hoo!
Poppy: You pass, girl! Now, it’s my honor to present to you: your diploma.
DJ Suki: Oh-oh! After-party at my pod! (The students cheer for her.)
Smidge: Big party, big party, big party! (She pulls the black screen down.)
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