2021 Power Rankings-Week 9

==Introduction==
We're in November and the playoff chase is officially on, with contending teams vulturing the have-nots with weeks to go before the trade deadline. Next year's draft is already looking like a shit show, and there's still plenty of time left for more moves. With players getting injured, getting COVID, and just straight up getting sick of football (Ridley), who knows how this whole thing is going to end?
Now all season long I've been mentioning the "bonus week" that we all have. It's like how you win a $50 scratch ticket and then for the next month everything you buy you just go "eh this is my scratch ticket winnings so it's fine." You end up spending $500 but it feels like nothing because you just keep using the excuse of the bonus money you have. It's the same with week 14. After every loss a little part of you goes "well there's an extra week so this is fine." For Paddock 9, his bonus money has been used for seven losses at this point. He's overspent his scratch ticket winnings. But it's fine. The excuse is still there. 
Well, for this specific week all your excuses are valid. Because this is actually the bonus week. Week nine's matchups are the extra games that I shoved in once the 14-week schedule was confirmed. I had already made the schedule and needed to find somewhere that extra games could fit without anyone facing the same team three times or facing anyone in back-to-back weeks. It wasn't easy, but luckily I'm a genius.
So please, sit back and relax this week. This is the bonus game. It barely even counts, right?
==Matchup Recap==
*Duck Punchers kicks The Shotti Bunch while he's down, regaining first place in the process (8-10). Next Matchup: N/A
*Pain Train continues to heat up in taking down top-scoring ma ma momma said (9-7). Next Matchup: N/A
*The Multiverse of Mattness continues to defy expectations with an upset over reeling RIPDab (13-7). Next Matchup: N/A
*The Stupid Idiots gains strength as it takes care of business vs. Papa's Posse (3-5). Next Matchup: N/A
*Sweet Dee takes down Paddock 9 in a battle of the two previous league champions that left plenty to be desired (6-8). Next Matchup: Week 14
==Stat Chat==
*RIPDab becomes the 5th team to reach 80 combined losses.
*Paddock 9's 45th roster move puts him in a tie for 7th most single season roster moves all-time (RIPDab 2016). 
*Duck punchers notches his 10th season with six or more wins, a league record. 
*Duck Punchers breaks the record for most weeks spent in 1st place (29). 
*Duck Punchers breaks his franchise record for most consecutive weeks scoring over 200 (8).
*Stupid Idiots ties his franchise record for most consecutive weeks scoring over 200 (6)
*Ma ma momma said's streak of consecutive weeks over 200 ends at 10, one shy of tying his franchise record. 
*After combining for 568.52 in their last matchup, RIPDab and Mattness combine for just 337.62 in week eight.
*Through eight weeks, eight different teams have been at the wrong end of a blowout of the week. The only two teams to not be blown out are RIPDab and Pain Train. 
==The Worst of The Best==
Garoppoblow Me is 5-3, tied for 2nd place. They are on their longest win streak since 2018. They've beaten five different teams, including the other two teams they are tied with at 5-3. Looking strictly at the standings and the wins, GBM is having a good season. But the scoring tells a different story. At 1558.80, GBM is the second-lowest scoring team in the league, ahead of only the tanking Paddock 9. And while anyone who has faced GBM knows that his start/sit decisions have left upwards of 100 points a week on the bench, it's obvious this team has struggled in scoring points. The good news? They're winning. The bad news? Usually teams like this stumble back down to earth by season's end.
So how lucky has GBM been? Here are the week eight standings for every second-lowest scoring team in LOC history. 
===Record of Second-Lowest Scoring Team Through 8 Weeks===
Second-Lowest Scoring Team Through 8 Weeks
Team Name 	Score 	Record	Year
Multiverse of Mattness - 4th	1558.80	5-3 	2021
Stupid Idiots (TSI) - 7th 	1612.45	4-4 	2020
Pain Train (PT) - 7th 	1576.38	4-4 	2019
TSI - 5th 	1540.03	4-4 	2012
PT - 9th 	1640.13	3-5 	2016
Jar Jar Stinks! - 9th 	1415.83	3-5 	2015
ma ma momma said - 9th 	1677.21	2-6 	2018
Papa's Posse - 9th 	1503.16	2-6 	2017
Papa's Posse - 9th 	1457.47	1-7 	2013
GregCincoDos - (12th) 	1363.48	1-7 	2011
Garoppoblow Me - (10th) 	1312.28	1-7 	2014
It's worth noting that Sweet Dee was 5-3 last season with the lowest point total through 8 weeks. They finished 8-5. 
In addition to being one of the worst teams with one of the best records, Mattness has had an epic struggle with QB. In a season where QBs can drop up to 70 points like it's nothing, you'd expect everyone to be able to start a guy who can provide at least 30 points every week. It should be as much of a no-brainer as the kicker spot, yet every week has been an adventure. With news that Tua is out in week 8, Commish will be starting his league-leading 4th unique quarterback in week nine.
Here are everyone's passing stats through eight weeks (adjusted to remove WR/TE/RBs who have completed passes):
*
===Starting QB Stats Through Eight Weeks===
This chart only includes regular season point totals and does not take into account any points scored in the post-season.
Team 	Yards	Completions	Touchdowns	INTs	Sacks
Pain Train 	2481 	200 	18 	5 	8
Papa's Posse 	2404 	214 	21 	5 	13
Sweet Dee 	2368 	216 	19 	10 	16
Duck Punchers 	2295 	209 	19 	4 	7
RIPDab 	2276 	186 	17 	7 	18
ma ma momma said 	2152 	196 	18 	6 	15
The Shotti Bunch 	2127 	169 	11 	5 	22
The Stupid Idiots 	2051 	171 	13 	6 	26
The Multiverse of Mattness	1860 	159 	14 	5 	17
Paddock 9 	1857 	157 	10 	4 	14
Multiverse is one of two teams under 2000 passing yards and under 160 completions. 
==Survivor ==
Insane week of Survivor as many people ate it in taking the Bengals vs. the Jets. It was enough to eliminate Shotti, leaving everyone but Mattness with a single strike heading into week nine. It's getting real! 
==Absolute Standings==
Standings if Top Five Teams Won Each Week
Player 	Absolute Record	Actual Record
Duck Punchers 	7-1 	6-2
Ma ma momma said 	6-1 	5-3
RIPDab 	5-3 	4-4
The Shotti Bunch 	5-3 	4-4
Papa's Posse 	5-3 	3-5
Pain Train 	4-4 	4-4
The Stupid Idiots 	3-5 	5-3
Sweet Dee 	2-6 	3-5
Multiverse of Mattness	2-6 	5-3
Paddock 9 	1-7 	1-7
==Trades By Season==
With two more trades happening since the last writeup, let's run this one back. 
Trades by Season
Year	Total Trades	Player for Player	Player for Pick
2011	3 	3 	0
2012	5 	2 	3
2013	2 	2 	0
2014	2 	2 	0
2015	5 	3 	2
2016	1 	0 	1
2017	9 	7 	2
2018	8 	4 	3
2019	4 	4 	0
2020	6 	4 	2
2021	11 	5 	6
We did it y'all. Most trades ever!
*
==Trade Tracker==
TRADE TRACKER: Woods/Sermon for CEH/Mooney
X 	Mattness 	Mattness	Paddock 9 	Paddock 9
X 	Points Scored	Result 	Points Scored	Result
Week Four 	59.95 	W 	32.68 	L
Week Five 	11.48 	L 	34.60 	W
Week Six 	X 	W 	11.50 	L
Week Seven 	6.30 	W 	16.80 	L
Week Eight 	X 	W 	X 	L
Week Nine 	 	 	 	
Week Ten 	 	 	 	
Week Eleven 	 	 	 	
Per Player Average	15.55 	 	19.52 	
Total 	77.73 	4-1 	97.58 	1-4
Starts (Mattness):
*CEH: 2
*Mooney: 3
Starts (Paddock 9)
*Sermon: 1
*Woods: 4
I don't even know how to track this anymore. Three of the four players are on Commish's team and the fourth is a free agent. This one is going to have to die. 
TRADE TRACKER: Aiyuk/Ruggs for Gordon/Fuller
X 	Paddock 9 	Paddock 9	RIPDab 	RIPDab
X 	Points Scored	Result 	Points Scored	Result
Week One 	38.48 	L 	0.70 	W
Week Two 	11.13 	L 	X 	W
Week Three 	21.9 	L 	X 	L
Week Four 	1.80 	L 	5.90 	L
Week Five 	X 	W 	X 	W
Week Six 	X 	L 	X 	L
Week Seven 	X 	L 	2.83 	W
Week Eight 	X 	L 	X 	L
Week Nine 	 	 	 	
Per Player Average	18.33 	 	3.14 	
Total 	73.31 	1-7 	9.43 	4-4
Starts (Paddock 9):
*Gordon: 3
*Fuller: 1
Starts (RIPDab)
*Aiyuk: 3
*Ruggs: 0
I did not think this trade could get any stupider. But then Ruggs went and literally killed a person. So yeah this is maybe the worst trade ever. Also, why is Pat not starting any of his good players? Weird shit. 
TRADE TRACKER: Hopkins/Williams for Kirk/Reagor
X 	Paddock 9 	Paddock 9	RIPDab 	RIPDab
X 	Points Scored	Result 	Points Scored	Result
Week Five 	X 	W 	47.80 	W
Week Six 	X 	L 	22.10 	L
Week Seven 	X 	L 	20.10 	W
Week Eight 	10.20 	L 	13.00 	L
Week Nine 	 	 	 	
Week Ten 	 	 	 	
Week Eleven 	 	 	 	
Week Twelve 	 	 	 	
Week Thirteen 	 	 	 	
Per Player Average	10.20 	 	20.60 	
Total 	10.20 	1-3 	103 	2-2
Starts (Paddock 9):
*Kirk: 1
*Reagor: 0
Starts (RIPDab)
*Hopkins: 4
*Williams: 1
There ya go Pat! Way to get a start out of it. 
TRADE TRACKER: J.D. McKissic for Dallas Goedert
X 	Ma ma momma said	Ma ma momma said	Multiverse of Mattness	Multiverse of Mattness
X 	Points Scored 	Result 	Points Scored 	Result
Week Six 	X 	W 	22.83 	W
Week Seven 	13.60 	W 	11.05 	W
Week Eight 	15.00 	L 	X 	W
Week Nine 	 	 	 	
Week Ten 	 	 	 	
Week Eleven 	 	 	 	
Week Twelve 	 	 	 	
Week Thirteen 	 	 	 	
Week Fourteen 	 	 	 	
Per Player Average	14.30 	 	16.94 	
Total 	28.50 	2-1 	33.08 	3-0
Starts (ma ma momma said):
*Dallas Goedert: 2
Starts (Multiverse of Mattness):
*J.D. McKissic: 2
Commish benching McKissic nearly cost them the win. 
TRADE TRACKER: A.Robinson for M.Davis
X 	ma ma momma said	ma ma momma said	Papa's Posse 	Papa's Posse
X 	Points Scored 	Result 	Points Scored	Result
Week Five 	7.60 	L 	15.48 	L
Week Six 	10.70 	W 	X 	W
Week Seven 	4.00 	W 	1.75 	W
Week Eight 	X 	L 	X 	L
Week Nine 	 	 	 	
Week Ten 	 	 	 	
Week Eleven 	 	 	 	
Week Twelve 	 	 	 	
Week Thirteen 	 	 	 	
Per Player Average	7.43 	 	8.62 	
Total 	22.30 	2-2 	17.23 	2-2
Starts (ma ma momma said):
*Allen Robinson: 3
Starts (Papa's Posse):
*Mike Davis: 2
Feel the magic.
==Power Rankings - Week Nine==
===1(2). Duck Punchers===
It sure seems like Duck Punchers is positioned well to make a run for the Commissioner's Cup and a bye for the playoffs, if for no other reason than that the teams he is competing with cannot seem to catch a break with injuries. That's not to say Duck hasn't had their share of setbacks. Barkley is still not playing, AJ Green has COVID, and Tyler Lockett is on the bye this week. I guess it's the perfect week to be facing Sweet Dee. 
===2(1). Ma ma momma said===
Last week I fired off a #MattJinx when I said that momma's success was tied directly into the endurance of Derrick Henry. Well, Henry is out for the season. It's time to be tested if you're Momma. Do they have enough meat on this roster's bone in order to overcome the biggest loss of the season by any team thus far?
===3(4). The Stupid Idiots===
Stupid Idiots has the best week of anyone. First they pull off a close victory over Papa's Posse, a game they could have just as easily lost. Then, they bolster their lineup by bringing in first round talent Tyreek Hill basically for pennies. Despite the blowback that his trade with Sweet Dee got, which at this point is par for the course with anything Butt Buttington does in fantasy, it's not collusion and therefore allowable under the collective bargaining agreement. 
===4(5). Pain Train===
If Pain Train is selling how come none of us have been getting trade offers for players in exchange for draft picks? In fact, last I heard Pain Train was still trying to poach talent as they now ride the league's second-longest active win streak and also have a leg up on an ailing RIPDab in week nine. Makes you think. 
===5(3). RIPDab===
Nate Year is canceled. Everyone go home. 
===6(6). The Shotti Bunch===
Up and down season for Shotti is quickly becoming just a down season. Shotti has lost Calvin Ridley to mental health issues, plus OBJ just shot his way out of Cleveland, plus Miles Sanders is a bust, plus Gronk and Knox can't get healthy. What an ugly series of events for Shotti. Luckily, they had a really good draft and have some depth in positions of need. 
===7(9). The Multiverse of Mattness===
Mattness has won three straight, but no one with eyeballs is considering this team a contender until they see CMC and CEH return to full health and make an impact. This team is basically buying their way to the top, scavenging Paddock 9 until he's nothing but a dry carcass. But none of the upgrades have reflected a huge jump in the scoring column, as they won a game by scoring below 170 last week. So we'll see. There's a lot to be proven still with this squad. 
===8(8). Papa's Posse===
The plan all season was to keep Rodgers and Brady together because at the very least Rodgers can be plugged in during Brady's week nine bye. Well, the week nine bye is here and QAron Rodgers is out with COVID. This is just the latest disaster for Papa's Posse, who seems to be once again contemplating retirement with a bum season unfolding before them. 
===9(8). Sweet Dee===
Any hope Sweet Dee had at a second-half run is out the window with the trade of Tyreek Hill. It's a disappointing followup to last year's 8-5 campaign. Now the only question will be whether they can move more assets to prepare for 2022. 
===10(10). Paddock 9===
I'm at a complete loss as to why Paddock 9 made the decisions he did with his roster last week. He benched Robert Woods, Brandin Cooks, and Melvin Gordon (combined 75.18) and instead started Alex Collins, Kenneth Gainwell, and Jamal Agnew (combined 36.83). I get how easy it is to overthink a lineup, so I'm trying not to judge TOO much here. But also...start your starters, regardless...right? 
==Matchup of the Week - 4-4 and Wanting More ==
Pain Train and RIPDab seem to be on opposite trajectories. RIPDab cannot catch a break, while Pain Train is heating up as we take the turn into the winter weeks. With Murray and Hopkins out, it's time for Dab to show the league that his team is deep enough to overcome adversity. Meanwhile, Pain Train would love nothing more than to bust back through into a playoff spot after weeks in the bottom four. Should be a good one. 
==Conclusion==
This concludes the writeup.