Hair-aldine: The Musical/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Hair-aldine: The Musical".
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(The Country Trolls are about to do a play. Synth is seen dressed up as a female Troll. He gives hair spray to a female Country Troll.)
Gust: Hair-aldine! (He shows up with Poppy in a costume. Her hair is in a fancy style.) Hair-aldine Groundwater, look what that product of yours has done to your sister’s hair! Holdin’ its shape against gravity itself. Why, a dang twister couldn’t move a strand! (He taps on Poppy’s hair.) It ain’t natural!
Synth: But, pa-pa, don’t you see? My new invention would change the world. (He picks up a hairspray bottle.) I call it “hair…” uh… “Spray.” Ugh. Sorry, Holly. Told you acting really isn’t my thing… (He holds out his hands. They have the words “Spray” and Hair”.) Ran out of room on my hands! (The camera cuts to Holly holding a megaphone.)
Holly: (sighs) It’s fine, sugar. I just appreciate you helpin’ out while I continue to do auditions. Take 5, y’all! (Poppy comes over to Holly.)
Poppy: Still now luck finding someone to play the lead role, huh?
Holly: Oh, Poppy, Hair-aldine Groundwater is my hero! (She shows a picture of Hair-aldine.) She overcame enormous odds to become the inventor of hairspray. So, whoever plays her in my musical has to have an independent spirit, a fire in their eyes. But I just can’t seem to find the right Troll to play the part. (She and Poppy hear some Trolls gasping.)
Both: Huh? (They go to see what is happening. They see Val at an ice bug. The vendor gives her ice cream and squeezable cheese.)
Ice Cream Vendor: Here’s your order. But, Val, squeezable cheese for on ice cream? It ain’t natural!
Val: (laughs) I know. (She throws the squeezable cheese in the air, removes the cover, and laughs as she sprays cheese on her ice cream. The ice cream vendor faints.)
Classical Troll #1: She has such an independent spirit! (Fire appears in Val’s eyes.)
Techno Troll #1: (gasps) Look at the fire in her eyes!
Holly: (gasps) My Hair-aldine…  (At the stage, Val laughs at Poppy and Holly.)
Val: You want me to do musical theatre?
Holly: Yes. I think you’d be very good at- (Val laughs again and falls to the ground.)
Val: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. But I would never be caught dancing and singing to a bunch of Trolls.
Holly: Uh, you do that all the time.
Val: Huh. Very true. (She gets up and plays her guitar.) But my rock concerts are edgy and awesome. Musical theatre is… uh… not.
Holly: Please, Val. I’ve worked so hard on this musical. If you say no… I’m gonna have to go with Synth. (We see Synth with marker drawings around his body.)
Synth: (laughs) And you definitely don’t want that, yo!
Val: Sorry, Holly. Not my thing. (She walks backwards.) Thundershock out! (Fireworks explode in the air.)
Voice: Thundershock out!
Holly: (sighs) Well, it was worth a shot…
Poppy: Val, wait. (She runs after Val.) You’re just gonna say no? Shouldn’t you take a second to think about what this means to Holly?
Val: Yeah, I probably should. But yeah, no way. (She starts to leave.)
Poppy: OK! I hoped the power of friendship would convince you, but since you clearly need more motivation, how about the power of friendship and… (She takes out a pass for The Big Squeeze.) … a pass to skip the line at The Big Squeeze?
Val: (gasps) I love The Big Squeeze! You can see everything from up there! (She imagines herself on The Big Squeeze and the seat goes up.) WHOOOOOOOOO! (The seat reaches the top.) Ha! I can see all the way to Rock Hollow! Whoo! (laughs) Hey! Get your hands off my guitar!
Rock Troll #1: Sorry, Val! (We go back to reality.)
Val: You’ve got a deal, Popsqueak! Thundershock back in! (More fireworks explode in the air.)
Voice: Thundershock back in! (Holly is seen using a marker on Synth’s arm. She gasps and runs to Poppy and Val.)
Holly: Hot dang, Val! Does that glimmerin’ pyro mean what I think it means?! You’ll play Hair-aldine?!
Val: Just tell me what you want me to do.
Holly: (Putting her fists in the air) Wooooooo-hooooooo! Ready to get to wardrobe?
Val: Yes. (We cut to Val dressed up as Hair-aldine.) No. (The camera zooms out as Holly puts a hand on her shoulder. Satin and Chenille are with them.)
Holly: Now, Val, I know this isn’t your style, but this is the kind of dress Hair-aldine wore. That said, we can always modify it so you’re more comfortable.
Val: Oh. Really.
Satin: Of course. We could bring it in a bit! Or add fun accessories. Or… (Val tears the dress sleeves and bottom and turns the ripped parts into a bow on her hair.)
Chenille: Or you could rip it to shreds, erasing hours of our blood, sweat, and tears.
Val: Rock on! Wardrobe’s done! What’s next? (We cut to her at a makeup table.) Ugh.
Holly: OK, Val, in theatre, you gotta get used to wearin’ heavy makeup to help aid your performance… (Poppy turns around, revealing makeup on her face and eyes.)
Poppy: Eh?
Val: Eh, I’m cool with that. (She turns around and starts putting on makeup.
Holly: Oh… Well, good.
Val: Yeah. Hard Rock Trolls do the same thing. (She turns around, revealing her face painted in a crazy way.)
Poppy and Holly: Aah!
Val: What? Not heavy enough? (Later, the rehearsal is about to start.)
Holly: (Through the megaphone) All right, y’all, rehearsal’s up!
Gust: At last, Hair-aldine returns to us from the big city. (We see Holly, Val, and Synth on the side of the stage.)
Holly: All right, Val, this is the openin’ scene, so you need to make your entrance powerful.
Val: Powerful. Got it.
Poppy: (Gasping and speaking in a Southern accent) I think I see her now. (Val jumps out of the fake train with her guitar.)
Val: (Singsong) Hair-aldine in the house! Yow! (She goes over to Poppy and Gust.) Power! Power! (She smashes some carboard objects.) Power, power! Po-po-power! (Lightning appears on her guitar and she throws it into the air.) POWER! (Her guitar lands. As soon as the dust clears, it reveals the damaged stage.) It’s your line. (Holly smacks her hand against her forehead.)
Holly: Oh… All right. Everyone, take 5. (Gust leaves the stage.) Val, a word… (Val comes over to her.) Perhaps you were right, Val. Maybe musical theatre isn’t your thing.
Val: Wait, seriously? You don’t want me to do it anymore?
Holly: Well… I still believe you and Hair-aldine share the same fire, but… I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. So, you’re off the hook, sugar. (She walks over to Synth.) Come on, Synth. Maybe we can squeeze Act 3 on your left flipper. (She leaves with Synth.)
Val: Yes! (She removes her costume and comes over to Poppy.) You heard her, Popsqueak! Deal is a deal!
Poppy: (sighs) Yeah, if Holly says you’re off the hook, I guess you get the pass. But, Val, it feels to me like your heart wasn’t really in this. When we tell a friend we’ll do something for them, it’s important that we actually try to-
Val: (Taking the pass) OK! Great lesson! Bye! (She leaves for The Big Squeeze.)
Poppy: Ugh. (Soon, Val reaches the line to The Big Squeeze.)
Val: Wait! I’m next! I have a pass! (She shows the pass and gets on The Big Squeeze.) YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH! (The seat goes up.) Woo-hoo! Ha-ha! You can really see everything from here! Classical Crest, Techno Lagoon, my friend, worried that the musical she worked so hard on isn’t gonna be as good as she hoped… Wait. (She sees a sad Holly.)
Holly: Oh… (Val feels bad for her.)
Val: Hey! I said, don’t touch my guitar!
Rock Troll #1: Sorry again, Val! (That night, the musical is about to start. Holly looks out from the curtains.)
Holly: Well… I guess this is it, y’all. Places! You ready, Synth?
Synth: Nah, yo! I’m very much terrified. (He goes to start his act. The audience claps and the musical starts.)
Gust: I thought this day would never come. At last, Hair-aldine returns to us from the big city.
Poppy: (gasps) I think I see her now. (Dust appears and Synth doesn’t come out.)
Both: Huh?
Poppy: Uh… I said, I think I see her now. (Holly covers her eyes. Luckily, Val comes out in her costume.)
Val: Yeeeee-haaaaw! Hair-aldine has arrived! (The audience cheers and Val winks at Holly. (Later, Gust, puts up a sign with a bottle of hairspray in a crossed circle.)
Gust: By order of law, I herby ban all hair products. All sprays, gels, and pomades must be turned in by sundown!
Country Troll #1: Let’s go wrangle up all that stuff here.
Poppy: What do we do, Hair-aldine?!
Val: We spray, dear sister We get down on our knees and spray! (She sprays her hair. Later, she is in a fake court.) And to that little girl, I say, “Rise.” You spray and you curl and you tease that hair! And when you feel you can’t possibly make another brush stroke, then by Troll, you tease again! Because the only thing bigger than your hair should be your dreams! (The crowd cheers again. Later, Val sits with Gust on a fake log.)
Gust: Now, it’s hard for a Troll like me to change his ways. (sniffs) But, Hair-aldine Groundwater, your passion for hairspray has added volume, luster and bounce to my heart… and my head. (He sprays his hair.)
Val: Oh, Pa! (She and Gust hug and the stage goes dark. A light blue male Pop Troll sheds happy tears and a yellow male Pop Troll and blue female Pop Troll wipe them. The crowd then claps and cheers. Holly watches from the curtains.)
Val: Holly, we did it!
Holly: Thanks for comin’ back and puttin’ your heart into this, Val. Hair-aldine would be so proud. I know I am. (She and Val hug.)
Val: All right, all right. I’ve got a showstopping song to sing… y’all. (She comes out onto the stage and sings Big Hair & Bigger Dreams.)
(Val)
When you believe in your dreams
Never hold back
(Gust and Poppy)
Uh
(Val)
If you believe
You can make a difference
Then take a stand
Raise your voice and sing
(All)
We got big hair and bigger dreams
Raise your voice and sing with me
Oh, yay, yay
When they all try to keep us down
We just pull our hairspray out
And spray, spray
It’s about freedom
To be who we wanna be
Hair in the air
So big and wild and free
We’ve got big hair and bigger dreams
So just pull your hairspray
And spray
Spray with me (The performers pose, the audience cheers and the episode ends.)
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