Mhm

I watched my friend Jimmy's mouth move as he most likely tried to give me some bullshit explanation for it. I couldn't hear anything else after 'We can't be friends anymore.' 
The sentence echoed in my brain for what felt like an eternity. I wanted to cry, to plead, 'But, why? Jimmy, you know this hurts. Why are you hurting me?' But I already knew what this was about.
His girlfriend; the puppet he used to pretend that he had a normal life. I always knew in the back of my mind that she would eventually steal him away from me. She always tried to be my friend, but an idiot could tell that she was only trying to get to him. He put his hands on my shoulders and leaned into me, forcing me to make eye contact with him.
"This is just the way it has to be," he said.
"Mhm."
"You understand."
"Mhm." Yeah. I understood.
I understood that I loved him more than I loved myself. He knew that I would do anything for him.
Did he think that I would just walk out of his life without a fight? Even my body tried to shut out his meaningless words. I knew that he loved me too, and that he always would.
He doesn't care about his girlfriend, or what she thinks of me. He doesn't care for her concerns of feeling a pair of eyes on her walking home from school and work, or of whether or not she would ever find her missing dog. When she asked me about it and if I had ever seen it, I would tell her 'No', lying like the obedient girl that Jimmy adores. But, I would promise from the bottom of my heart that she would find her, because that was the truth. She was closer to her than she thought. But, I guess it's hard for some people to find things that are right under their very noses, cooked on their dinner plate mixed with various other meats.
I remembered him telling me the old saying, "To get through a man's heart, you gotta go through his stomach." with the biggest smile on his face as he took a big bite of cooked dead homeless woman, sprinkled with a pinch of salt.
I stared at him, pretending to listen as he continued to speak, fearing that I'd never get to see his flawless grin again. I knew that she would change everything. He told me not to interfere at first, that I knew what he was really after. I tried to convince myself that I was just too late and there was nothing that I could've done in time but was only fooling myself. I feared loneliness more than anything and he was my world, so I had nothing to lose. The look in his eyes was all that I needed as he peered into them, close enough to kiss me. I knew what I could do to keep him.
"We'll meet again in another life. But I finally know that I'm meant to spend this life with her, not you. I hope you find happiness one day and realize that this isn't it."
"Mhm." I smiled. He looked at me with concern. Why, Jimmy?, I thought. I can tell that this is all an act. You know you'll always be my everything. You know that I know what I have to do. You've always been in my heart, Jimmy. Now I'll finally get to taste my happiness.
Category:Mental Illness
Category:Dismemberment