Rock's Not Dead, It's Just Hiding/Transcript

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At the end of 2019, Billboard released their Top 50 Rock Songs of the 2010s. Which went somewhat viral for all the wrong reasons. People were like, "Is this a joke? Where's the rock music?" The top three songs were Imagine Dragons tracks, twenty øne piløts landed the six, nine, and ten spot, and other hot AC hits like The Lumineers "Ho Hey," WALK THE MOON "Shut Up and Dance," and Portugal. The Man's "Feel it Still" rounded out the top ten. One might argue that the first rock song to make an appearance on this list of rock songs was Foo Fighters "Rope" which was beat out by Lorde "Royals." Yes, "Royals," a classic example of a rock song, because when people think "rock song," they generally think "finger snaps and hip-hop beats."
Now, this is Billboard. They aren't trying to pick the top rock songs from a critical standpoint. It's all based on charting data, streams, airplay, purchases, purely what was the most consumed. And so it's not surprising that songs labeled "alternative" or "alt rock" that also got a shitload of play on pop stations and as crossover songs on Spotify playlists from 14-year olds who say, "See? I don't just listen to pop music. Look. I like rock music like Panic! at the Disco" were successful on this chart.
Now, at this point in the video, the subreddit /lewronggeneration is just frothing at the mouth to tell me how much I fucking suck but I don't have a problem with people liking these songs and making them more popular than traditional sounding rock songs. People can like whatever the fuck they like, but they're not exactly what people think of when they think of rock n' roll. A lot of them are classified as alternative or alt rock, but genres are important in a way. If your friend said they were taking you to see a horror movie and you ended up seeing A Fault in Our Stars, and your friend said, "Man, wasn't that scary? Cancer frightens the hell out of me," you'd feel misled. And so, a pop song with a sampled drumbeat and finger snaps isn't a rock song or the original definition of alternative, which kind of formulated in the '90s and I think was supposed to be an alternative to Aerosmith and U2, but ended up kind of being a strange classification anyway since alternative became the most dominant form of rock in the '90s.
So anyway, you know who else hates this genre crossover shit? Rock radio music directors. 'Cause they pretty much have to play whatever's charting and they know when this happens on their station...
"It's rock n' roll as loud as you love it! 91.9 The Pitbull!"
I've got no roo-o-oo-oo-oooo-oots
...then they kind of look like idiots. So when Ozzy put out "Under the Graveyard" late last year, you know they were falling all over themselves to overplay the shit out of it. But, here's the thing, rock's not dead, it's just in hiding, sometimes in plain sight. This is what happens when you don't have the patience for the radio or you think it's just an archaic form of music discovery. So, allow me to serve to you "A Little Something on the Rocks."
Miss the '90s? A lot of those artists are still putting out music or have in the last couple of years. You know, the ones that aren't dead. Your old pal Buckley's first childhood celebrity crush was Shirley Manson which probably explains a lot. Her band Garbage put out singles in 2016, 2017, and 2018. Check out "Empty" for a very mid-tempo '90s rock track or "Destroying Angels" for something that sounds like it could have been on the From Dusk Till Dawn soundtrack. The Tea Party is a Canadian rock band probably best known for their song "Temptation." They're still keeping the '90s grunge sound alive with 2019's "Black River." And for '90s punk fans, you might find The Interrupters to your liking. Rancid's Tim Armstrong produced their 2018 album which included the song "She's Kerosene," a very upbeat female led track with just a hint of ska that's not too obnoxious. It might give you a bit of a No Doubt "Spiderwebs" feel.
Looking for something that's a little rougher, but doesn't take itself too seriously? England's Dinosaur Pile-Up climbed the US Mainstream Rock charts with their 2019 single "Back Foot," a perhaps ironic little song about never getting ahead in the music business, considering it's their most successful yet. For something a little edgier, their 2015 song "11:11" gets close to hard rock territory without quite making it there. In this category, you also have Red Fang. Their comedic videos "Cut it Short" and "Not For You" are hard rock tracks that are okay to smile to. Don't worry, you can stow the resting bitch face for a moment. You don't always have to frown to be cool. And for those who don't care about being cool at all, well, perhaps you'll enjoy Clutch, a band who has been making music since the mid-'90s and have averaged a new album every two to three years. Their most recent Book of Bad Decisions contains the humorous "In Walks Barbarella." Their catalogue of blues and stoner rock tracks contain many references to Philip K. Dick novels or other science fiction. And lead singer Neil Fallon's side project The Company Band released a song about one time Donkey Kong world record holder Steve Wiebe called "Kill Screen." It's rock n' roll by nerds for nerds. And for good ol' hard geek rock, you can't ever go wrong with The Sword, whose early stuff I didn't want to mention because I was trying to keep metal out of all of this, but we've moved to a more hard rock and stoner rock sound while still maintaining their fantasy and sci-fi lyrics. If people don't think nerds get high, what, do you think they come up with all that weird dragon and elf shit while sober?
Just because twenty øne piløts only have two members doesn't mean that all rock duos have to suck. Check out Royal Blood, probably best known for their 2014 breakouts "Little Monster" and "Figure it Out." They're one of the few mid-2010s bands to not go all soft; looking at you, Cage the Elephant and KONGOS. Check out their 2018 tracks "Hole in your Heart" and "Look Like You Know." Canadian duo Death from Above 1979 have a similar sound to Royal Blood which makes sense since both bands are made up of a bass guitar and drums, literally the two most disrespected members of every band, but they make it work. Mix 2014's "Trainwreck 1979" and 2018's "Keep it Real Dumb" in with the Royal Blood tracks I mentioned a moment ago for a nice consistent flavor.
And of course I might as well mention that if you just like a good straight-up sound-alike of your old favorites, you can't go wrong with Greta Van Fleet, probably the most famous Zeppelin tribute band from Frankenmuth, Michigan. They refused to flat-out admit that they sound like Zeppelin. In one interview, I remember reading that they believed AC/DC was a bigger influence on them than Zeppelin. If it were, maybe they'd sound more like Airborne, whose influence by Angus and the boys couldn't be more out in the open. And late 2000s-early 2010s parody of '80s hair metal Steel Panther is still doing their thing, even if that thing is kind of just edgy for the sake of edgy at this point, but who am I to talk too much shit? Anyway, they released a new album toward the end of 2019.
I've definitely missed tons of other examples spanning the last 10 years, but the point of this whole video was that rock isn't dead just because Billboard's list sucks. You're just not hearing the sound you want to hear, because MTV isn't playing rock anymore, because they aren't playing anything anymore, and your local rock station is run by massive corporations who are only worried about ratings. And sorry, but Imagine Dragons draws more listeners than King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. It's unfortunate, but the search requires a little more effort these days. Luckily that search isn't that hard since it's not the '90s anymore, because the internet is way faster and you don't have to actually spend $30 on an album to find out whether you like it or not.