(S2) Chapter 1: Here we go Again

King Funnyverse found himself in a void. Or well, was it even a void? Dark unfathomable patterns danced about wherever he was, mostly in shades of blue. Then he heard a voice, and he remembered where he was.
“Congratulations, Lancer.” Said the voice. Slowly fading into existence was a dark figure with a bony white head- nah fuck the dramatic explanation, it was gaster. He was wearing what your typical tropical tourist would be wearing, even had a straw hat and some shades. He took a sip from his coconut-cup.
“Well, you did it. You made it to Betatale. Honestly, I didn’t think you’d do it, especially since you tagged along with…them, but ya really surprised me kid!” Gaster complimented. Lancer was not happy to meet Gaster, for he-
“Na-ah-ah, thatsa spoiler Cliche, you can’t be spilling that information.” Chimed in Gaster, being an annoying little fuck and interrupting me like A FUCKING ASSHO-
“Why did you make it like this? WHY DID YOU MAKE A NEW CREATION WITHOUT MY OLD FRIENDS?!” Lancer cried. Gaster sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Well sheesh, if you were gonna be a whiny, ungrateful shit about it, I wouldn’t have paid you a visit. Wake up, kid.” Gaster mumbled. And then, lancer ACTUALLY woke up. The ground beneath him was wet, but it was a little damp and hard, but it wasn’t painful. He looked around and saw that he was in a blue cavern illuminated by pink and blue crystals and cyan mushrooms. Blue grass decorated the area around him. The sound of water rushing caught his ears, diverting his attention to the stream next to him that was illuminated with a cyan glow by what was most likely tiny little bioluminiscente creatures. He was in waterfall. 
“Oh hey kiddo, you just woke up too, huh?” He heard a voice say. He turned around and saw his chad uncle Adam doing some morning stretches. 
“Uncle Adam…am I in Betatale?” Lancer asked.
“Why yes, we are. We did it little buddy, we made it. We finally recreated our home, and you’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like-“  before Adam could finish what he was saying, Lancer sprung up.
“Little bud, where are you-“ 
“Uncle Adam, please, I need you to tell me something.” Lancer said, interrupting Adam. He needed to know if his friends were there in any way of form. Even if they weren’t the same, he needed to know if they were there. Kris, Susie, ralsei, noelle, and berdly…they couldn’t just be gone, right?
“Do you know anyone named Kris? Susie? Ralsei? Noelle? Berdly?” Lancer asked. Adam had not. The closet people he could tie to those names were frisk and poor Asriel. Asriel was the unborn son of the dead queen Toriel. Everyone else seemed to just ignore that (most likely considering this is a joke parody), but Adam had not. That bit of his world’s history always managed to bring a frown to his face. It was a horrible thing to happen. He always wanted to pile-drive whoever it was that caused this.
“Nope, the only people I know that remotely sound like that are Frisk and…Asriel.” Adam responded, contemplating for a moment whether or not he should have even mentioned Asriel. 
“This isn’t right…I’m going look for my friends, the man said they would be here.” Lancer said, running off before Adam. Lancer sprinted out of water fall until he saw Errrrr404. Hey maybe he could answer him! Not realizing that he was chasing after frisk, lancer chased after him. Not wanting king funnyverse to get lost, Adam chased after HIM, causing a cartoonish scene where everyone was chasing after everyone.
Cartoonishly close by, Jasús just woke up and looked at his hands. He felt normal. He wasn’t a monster anymore, he was Jasús again! He was so happy, and it was all his friends’ doing! His friends…where were they? He had to thank and apologize to them. He saw Errrr404 rush by, with king Funnyverse then adam following behind. There they were! He raced after them, yelling out for them. 
And then Harrus woke up and saw Jasús. It was Jasús, not HAM. His sweet little brother was back! Instantly, he began chasing after him. The cartoonish chase line was complete. But then all of a sudden, error appeared! He fell from a rift above the crew and landed right on top of Billy Mays. The rest of the crew behind Errrr404 was not ready for this, and as a result all tripped over each other. 
“Error? What are you doing here?” Asked essentially everyone, understandably confused. It made sense for king Funnyverse to be there…somehow, but error? It was odd. So odd that Billy Mays forgot that frisk was getting away.
“GUYS, HELP!”Chacha yelled. The crew diverted their attention to frisk, who hopped into the fucking clown car and zoomed off. Shit. The crew just looked at each other for a moment, confused, until they all broke out into conversations. What they were saying I could not tell you, it was a lotta clamor. I heard “brother” exclaimed excitedly a few times and a few confused “what the fuck”s, but that’s all I could make out. 
“WAIT, guys, chara’s been kidnapped by frisk, look!” Errrr404 finally yelled, pointing to frisk taking off in the clown car. These idiots were too busy talking to even realize that frisk had taken off, what a buncha morons.
“So long, LOSERS!!” Frisk shouted annoyingly as he zoomed off, out of sight.
“That’s such a stupid line to use…how does he even exist?” Asked Dekios, who had now just appeared. The crew turned to him and cheered for his existence. He smiled.
“Yeah yeah, it’s me, it’s Papyrus, it’s- wait, why’s error here?” Papyrus asked.
“That’s what I’m saying!” All but Error and Dekios said in unison.
“An enthralling question…that is honestly quite distracting but SON OF A BITCH GUYS, I THINK WE FORGOT TO REMAKE BETATALE WITHOUT STELLAR BITCH AND FRISK!” Papaya yelled. They all groaned in unison until they all inevitably looked up and noticed the GINORMOUS FUCKING WEAPONIZED CELESTIAL CASTLE (GFWCC for short) in the sky that frisk took off towards. After he made it in, the castle zoomed off at hyper speed, leaving behind a confused and peeved gang.
“Well shit…what now?” Error asked. 
“To the BillyMobile!” Willy responded, pointing forwards and running off. The crew swiftly followed, not questioning anything, since they didn’t really have the time to do so.
“Wait we have a-“
||| COOL Transition |||
Frisk dragged his sister through massive doors into a throne room. When looking at the throne, Chara realized what was going on. It was Space mom! Oh God oh fucking shit she’s back! Chara wasn’t even scared or surprised, just confused.
“Wha- how- what the fuck- how are you here?” Chara questioned. Cosmic Bitch laughed a raspy laugh that very quickly turned into violent coughing because smoking is bad. Don’t smoke kid, look what it does to your lungs. You won’t even be able to do a cool villain laugh, so like, don’t do it. 
“Well cha cha my dear, if Betatale was being brought back, then I would be too.” She answered simply.
“Well yeah, but everyone hates you, so how-“ chara began, before being cut off.
“Doesn’t matter! I kidnapped you so that I could create tension in the plot!” The Celestial Asshole replied. 
“That’s it?” Chara asked, understandably confused. 
“Well, I also need to teach you how to be a strong, independent girl boss!” Said the astral mother. Her statement only added to both me and chara’s confusion. What the fuck is she yapping about?
“What? But I am independent, what’s making yo-“
“NoT iF yOu HaVe BiLlY mAyS!!1!” Frisk butted in, interrupting Chara. Man, Chara can’t get anything out, these asswipes keep interrupting her.
“Frisk shut the fuck up. Just because you have a partner doesn’t mean you’re dependent on them…well you sort of are, but in a healthy relationship, you’re dependent on each other. Not on everything of course, but you generally depend on each other for things. I feel like this is common knowledge, but to say any of you have been in a healthy relationship would be like saying you know what general fucking decency is: you don’t.” Yeah, go off Chara. Your words fall on deaf ears, but yeah, go off. 
“I- uh- well-“ the Nebular Whore began stumbling on her words until an echoey, menacing voice interjected. Lots of interruptions, but I’m in favor of this one.
“I tried to convince her of how utterly moronic her plan was, yet she was steadfast in it. I would apologize, but to say I even SLIGHTLY pity you would be a grotesque lie.” Said the mysterious voice. Creeping out from an unestablished shadow came THE FUCKING MOON LORD. It looked furious. Wait, why’s he here? Hold on, no way, does this mean that-
“Huh? The fuck- WHAT IS THE MOON LORD DOING HERE?!” Chara asked. The moon lord just scoffed and floated closer, towering above her.
“You don’t remember who I am? You don’t recognize me?” He asked. Chara shook her head no, prompting him to hover closer to further impose himself. “I AM THE ONE YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE KILLED, I AM LORD CTHULHU, THE MIGHTIEST OF AZATHOTH’S OFFSPRING AND THE HARBINGER OF IMPENDING DOOM!!!” Chara gulped and crept back.
“Oh, now I recognize you. I thought- I thought HAM had you-“
“NO, THAT FOOL STOLE MY POWERS WHENEVER I LOST!!! FOR THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON ONE, I WAS BUT A MERE SPIRIT GATHERING ENERGY FOR MY GRAND RETURN!! I WOULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT I WANT TO MAKE YOUR PRECIOUS BOYFRIEND SUFFER FOR SLAYING MY FATHER, I WANT TO MAKE HIM WATCH YOU DIE. MY HATRED FOR YOU TWO IN SPECIFIC SURPASSES ALL OF THE POWER OF MY FATHER, MYSELF, AND MY SIBLINGS COMBINED, YET CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY THAT I AM SPARING YOU FOR THE TIME BEING, AND SAVOR THESE LAST MOMENTS BEFORE I MAKE YOU SUFFER AN INCOMPREHENSIBLY PAINFUL DEATH!!!” Fucking hell Cthulhu, calm down.
“I’m also not killing you because if I did, I wouldn’t be able to use this pink dumbass for my plans, which is something that I actually have. I have to work with this plan-less, incompetent fool just to get what I want…ugh.” Cthulhu added. For some reason, this caused space mom to blush, the fuck?
“Ohhhh Squiddy-“
“Cthulhu, it’s Cthulhu”
“Right, Cthulie, finding your meaning in life is such a hard thing to do. Don’t rush it, because if you do that, I’ll never find what it is.” Space mom replied. Cthulhu’s expression quickly went to being absolutely peeved as he turned around to face her.
“Well gee, it’s almost like I critiqued your lack of MEANING BEHIND YOUR FUCKING ACTIONS, NOT YOUR LIFE- which I considered meaningless from the get go, but whatever, you wouldn’t care about that. YOU HAVE NO LOGICAL MOTIVATION, YOU JUST DO THE FIRST BULLSHIT THING THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND!” Cthulhu ranted once more. The Star Bitch blushed and smiled again, what’s her deal?
“Oh you’re so sweet Cthulie, I like you.” That was a weird reply, what the fuck space mom? 
“…whatever, I don’t have the mental fortitude to deal with you right now. I’m going to my celestial chasm so I can focus and recharge my mind and find the pieces of my fragmented essence. Crescentine Fool, escort her to her ‘cell’ that this hot-pink moron insists upon putting her in.” The moon lord requested from an unseen person. Just then, the lunatic cultist appeared and nodded, gently escorting her to her room.
“You think I’m hot?” Chara heard the Cosmic Slut ask.
“I MEANT HOT-PINK AS IN THE FUCKING COLOR YOU DAFT IDIOT!!!” She heard Cthulhu respond before a warping noise was heard.
||| Super Menacing Transition to Cthulhu in his Celestial Chasm |||
“Alright, where are my legs? That’s all I need to complete my base form…” Cthulhu asked himself as he meditated. Just then, an image blipped into his mind.
“That’s Hadal, how did they get that far away? I can’t go there by my own accord, I haven’t the power to teleport that far. I’m going to have to ask that rosé dolt to bring me there…how shameful. The creep towards unlimited power involves having to do things you don’t want to do though…” Cthulhu told himself. Just then, another image entered his mind. It was of Errrr404 and his gang sprinting towards the Billymobile in pursuit of them. He grunted and opened his eyes, ending his meditation.
“They’re starting their gain on us. I think not, I’ll keep my eyes on them…” Cthulhu said to himself as he summoned five Eyes of Cthulhu. He opened a rift with a drawing motion and pointed to it.
“Go, devour the essence of all but the white and blue one.” He ordered. The eyes ‘blinked affirmatively?’ and went on their way.
“Nahahahahaha! I’ll make a new Azathoth with all of the energy I’ll get from the protagonists! It appears as though this chapter is now ending, so now, to reinstate an old tradition my dear father upheld, I shall end it with an obligatory villain laugh! Mwahahahahaha! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!”
Category:Story
Category:Canon
Category:Written by Cliche
Category:Episodes
Category:Season 2