Definitely Not The Pilot Episode

Definitely Not The Pilot Episode is the pilot episode of Definitely Not SpongeBob SquarePants. It was written by Kidboy24, and edited by SuperFanonD.
==Transcript==
[Scene: DNSS Office]]
Adam: Hello, and welcome to Definitely Not SpongeBob SquarePants. The only show that is Definitely Not SpongeBob SquarePants. I'm Adam,
Jake: And I'm Jake.
Adam: And together were,
Both: Adam 'n Jake.
(drum sound is heard)
Jake: Before we get on to SpongeBob SquarePants-
Adam: Not.
Jake: Check this out!
[Scene: Spongelanders Arena]
[Spongelanders title card shows]
SpongeBob: I will win today.
Barnacle Boy: You should've come dressed as the quickster.
SpongeBob: Well then my player name woudn't be SpongeBob. Besides, I'm signed up as SpongeBob.
Barnacle Boy: [to self] Why are my jokes never funny?
SpongeBob: Because you have a long nose like Squidward.
Squidward: [off screen] Hey!
Barnacle Boy: Thanks for the compliment.
SpongeBob: No problemo.
Barnacle Boy: Your not supposed to reply to a complement.
SpongeBob: Sorry? I have cotton in my ear.
British Narrator: Two hours later.
[Shows a dead Barnacle Boy and a old SpongeBob]
[Shows Spongelanders title card]
[Scene: DNSS Office]
Adam: (laughing) Gets me every time.
Jake: How was that funny? And how did that make sense?
Adam: (stops laughing) No idea.
Jake: Today's topic! Why is there water underwater? Just look at Goo Lagoon. How is that possible?
Adam: Because it's milk with blue food colouring.
Jake: Um.... no.... you know what, I think I'll watch SpongeBob... as a pirate!
[Scene: Pirate Ship]
[Avast! Patrick! plays]
Patrick: What shall we do with the drunken sailor? What shall with the drunken sailor? What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
All: Put him in the trash can!
Sandy: I'm a jolly pirate. I'm a jolly pirate. I'm a jolly pirate.
All: And so is Patrick Starfish!
Patrick: What shall we do with the drunken sailor? What shall with the drunken sailor? What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
All: Put him in the trash can!
[Avast! Patrick! stops playing]
[Scene: DNSS Office]
Adam: Yeah, that was just horrible.
Jake: No, it was good, it was good.
Adam: Well, tell us what your think of the show and we could send it live next episode!
Jake: Next question! Gary meows, is he a cat?
Adam: No. Snails don't talk. The animators thought he could meow.
Jake: Well, he could be a cat in a snail costume.
Adam: No-
Jake: YES, HE IS A CAT!
Adam: What if we combined SpongeBob..... with Phineas and Ferb?
[Shows Gary behind a big yellow star]
American Narrator: It's Gary! Gary The Snail! Gary! Gary The Snai!
French Narrator: Two hours later.
American Narrator: Gary...... Gary The......Snail.......It's Gary......The......Snail. (falls asleep, snoring is heard)
[Scene: DNSS Office]
Jake: That....was unsatisfying.
Adam: No, the song is always good!
Jake: Whatever. See you next time on D-N-S-S!
(episode ends)
Category:Definitely Not SpongeBob SquarePants
Category:Pilots
Category:Episodes
Category:2014
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Pigboy24
Category:SuperFanon'D!
Category:Season Premieres
Category:Series Premiere
Category:2010s