FANDOM Sucks

FANDOM Sucks is an episode written by Locknloaded23. It aired August 25th, 2019. The episode was formerly part of the infamous "Back to Squidville" series, but after the series (and all its episodes, safe for a few) were deleted, it became its own standalone episode.
== Cast ==
* Squidward
* Tom
* Ronavon
== Plot ==
Squidward gets a job at FANDOM.
== Story ==
The episode begins with Squidward eating a bag of chips while watching TV. Tom walks in and notices this, and comments, "you know, Squidward, you can't keep doing this everyday," but Squidward says "thanks, Dad!" Tom says, "look at you. You've become seriously overweight!" "No, I am not," says Squidward. "You leave a butt indent every time you sit on that damn chair," says Tom. "Yeah, well, maybe this chair should stop being so indentable," says Squidward. "I  think that's even a word," Tom says back. "Look, to prove to you I'm in fact NOT overweight, I'm gonna get up to get a glass of water from the sink," says Squidward. He attempts to get up off the seat but is struggling to, and he eventually breaks the chair after slamming his butt on it. After this, he gets up and tries to get some water but falls over. "Yeah, you're probably right," says Squidward. Just then, a newspaper squid throws a paper through Squidward's window, hitting him on the head. "STUPID JERK," says Squidward. "Hey, take a look at this," Tom says, picking the newspaper up.
Tom flips the paper to the Help Wanted page, and shows Squidward. "Here's a list of jobs," says Tom. Squidward attempts to grab the paper but is unable to because of how much of a fat fuck he is. "Yeah, we may need to slim you up a bit. Cue the montage," Squidward says. A "One exercise montage later" timecard comes up and Squidward walks in all sweaty and thin. "I think that took care of my problem," he says, "now let's look at these jobs." Squidward and Tom inspect the newspaper, and Tom points to a job as a cashier, but Squidward reminds him that cashier was his old job and he hated it. Tom then points for a help wanted ad for FANDOM. "FANDOM," asks Squidward, "aren't they the ones who deleted my favorite episode 'sexual Intercourse in the Water?'" "Yes," replies Tom. "Well, maybe i should apply there," says Squidward. He walks out the door.
Cut to FANDOM offices, where Squidward sees a bunch of men in suits throw some people into a jail cell labeled "GLOBAL," and deleting stuff. "Boy, this sure is a tense place," Squidward says silently to himself. "Mr Squidward, we're ready for your job interview," a lady at the desk says, and Squidward walks into the interview room. "Hi, my name is, uh, Squidward Q. Tentacles," says Squidward as he sits down. "Pleased to meet you, Squidward. I'm Ronavan, president of FANDOM," says Ronavan, shaking Squid's hand. "Can I just call you Ron," aks Squidward, and Ronavan says, "uh, I guess. Anyway, do you have what it takes to work at FANDOM," asks Ron. "Well, uh, what qualifies, asks Squidward. "You need to be good at deleting stuff and throwing people into our Global Prison," replies Ron. "Uh, yeah, i think i can do that," Squidward replies back. "Great, you're hired," Ron says, "we normally would run a test but our writer doesn't want to do that." "Wow, thanks," says Squidward. "Here, you'll need this," says John, as he puts a business suit on Squidward with a FANDOM label on the front. Squidward happily walks out the door.
Cut to inside Squidward's house, where Tom sits down with a box of tissues and rubbing his hands together when Squidward walks in. "Guess what? I got the job," says Squidward. "Oh, that's great! I was just about to m-" says Tom, but is cut off when Squidward slaps him, staying "THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE! ONE MORE SLIPUP AND IT'S A GLOBAL FOR YOU!" "Ow! Wait, so I can't do that," asks Tom. "I don't have time for this, i'm going outside to see if everyone is being FANDOM-Appropriate," says Squideard as he walks off. Tom looks both ways and slips his hand down his pants, moaning loudly.
Cut to the outside where Squidward sees somebody left their window open and sees 2 squids about to reproduce. Squidward blows his FANDOM whistle and the squids frantically hide under the blanket. "that is NOT a FANDOM approved activity," states Squidward, "GLOBALLED!" Squidward calls FANDOM reinforcements and they carry the squids off. Squidward walks off and sees a squid call another squid a naughty word and he quickly runs up to them screaming "STOP! THAT IS NOT FANDOM-APPROVED," and arrests the 2 squids. "What did I do," says the squid who was being called the naughty word. "Shut up and get in the van," says Squidward. He walks off and sees a squid with his hand down his pants, and runs to him. "I was just scratching myself," says the Squid, and Squidward responds, "IT STILL LOOKED BAD! GLOBALLED!"
One month later, Squidward walks into his house and Tom is looking very angry at him. "What's wrong with you, Squidward asks. "You're not being a good FANDOM worker," replies Tom. "WHAT," shouts Squidward back, "I AM A GREAT WORKER!" "you recently globalled a child for saying crud," says Tom. Just then, the phone starts ringing, and Squidward picks it up. On the phone is Ronavan, and he says "hi, Squidward." "Hey, Ron," Squidward says back. They have a chat and Squidward hangs up the phone saying "that's Ron. I need to go to FANDOM offices real quick," says Squidward walking out the door. Tom sits down and starts pleasuring himself again. Cut to Squidward in a chair in front of Ron at the FANDOM offices. "So what did you need," asks Squidward. "Uh, Squidward, you're fired," says Ron. "FIRED," Squidward screams, "WHY?!" "Well, uh, you're going way too power-hungry for our liking," says Ron. "I thought you liked power-hungry," says Squidward. "Oh, don't get me wrong, we most definitely do, but you're just going a little overboard. Return the coat," says Ron. Squidward puts his FANDOM coat on Ron's desk and Ron says "YOU'RE GLOBALLED" and Squidward gets thrown into the Global jail cell with a dozen other people. "Well this stinks," says Squidward.
== Trivia ==
*"Intercourse in the water" is a parody of the infamous ParodySponge episode Water Sex.
Category:Back to Squidville
Category:2019 Episodes
Category:2019
Category:Episodes
Category:2010s
Category:Locknloaded23