Bloons is Empty and All the Nonces Are Here

"Bloons is Empty and All the Nonces Are Here" is the nineteenth episode of SBFW: Finding Bigfoot, and the ninth episode of the second season. Written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway, the episode was first aired on 1st April 2022.
===Synopsis===
Mr. Renaud discovers Conner Malarky's true opinions on MAPs.
===Transcript===
[The episode starts with Mr. Renaud, still in hospital, reading the diaries of Conner Malarky. Jew Wario is sat besides him, checking his phone, before letting out a deep sigh.]
Jew Wario: Are ya still obsessed with that Malarky fella? Y’know, he’s probably full of shit. Like all religions.
Mr. Renaud: Isn’t your name Jew Wario?
Jew Wario: I ain’t payin’ to get it changed to Agnostic Bowser Jr. or nothin’. What chapter you on in that Malarky bible, anyway?
Mr. Renaud: Oh, I’m just reading about his captivating journey to Israel, and how he saved innocent children from the brutality of this evil king.
Jew Wario: [contemplates] Let me read some of that! Gah, it can’t be that good. Just a bunch of malarkey.
Mr. Renaud: Why, exactly.
[Jew Wario snatches the book from Mr. Renaud and starts flipping the pages.]
Jew Wario: What’s this here, huh? “The Evil King was defeated before he could get his hands on the poor Israeli children”. 
Mr. Renaud: He wouldn’t say that!
[Mr. Renaud snatches the book back and starts reading what Jew Wario pointed towards.]
Jew Wario: Yeah, looksie here!
Mr. Renaud: “Conner Malarky believes that those who have sexual attraction towards children are disgraceful and disgusting individuals.” T-this must be a lie.
Jew Wario: Well, it says “written by Conner Malarky”.
Mr. Renaud: It must have been doctored at some point!
[Mr. Renaud flips countless pages to find the back of the book with the credits.]
Mr. Renaud: SEE? Here! Here! “Edited by… Conner Malarky”. No. It can’t be.
Jew Wario: It do be.
Mr. Renaud: Conner Malarky is anti-MAP!
Jew Wario: Isn’t everyone?
Mr. Renaud: Well, you’re friends with me, Honest Jew Wario, so you couldn’t be anti-MAP.
[Jew Wario looks at the camera for an uncomfortable amount of time, smirking.]
Mr. Renaud: Right, Mr. Jew?
Jew Wario: Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m all for MAPs. I love pedophiles. It’s nonce or nothing in my household.
Mr. Renaud: For some reason, I don’t believe you. In fact, I have an aching suspicion that you are anti-MAP.
Jew Wario: Why would I be against MAPs? I fully supported the special military operation in Joe Mama Elementary.
Mr. Renaud: Then why is Bigfoot on the loose? Who told him that Gussy was my partner, hm?
Jew Wario: Well…
Mr. Renaud: And who has kept me in here for months on end for no reason?
Jew Wario: Well, there’s a reason! Yer legs fell off!
[Zoom out to show Mr. Renaud’s legs now fully grown and functioning.]
Mr. Renaud: My legs grew back half a year ago.
Jew Wario: [pause] …W-well, what a miraculous recovery! I think we should celebrate!
Mr. Renaud: No, no, no, Jew Wario. I think I need to take matters into my own hands.
Jew Wario: What matters?
[Mr. Renaud walks to the window.]
Mr. Renaud: I… am going to kill Conner Malarky.
[A dramatic music cue plays and the episode fades to black.]
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Category:SBFW: Finding Bigfoot
Category:2022
Category:2022 Episodes
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Category:JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:Episodes written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:Religion
Category:2020s
Category:Parodies