An Ode To My Cock

“	Azureila: that is a glorious penis<BR>Azureila: I'm crying<BR>HyperSilence: dont stare i'll blush<BR>Seudo: hyper<BR>Seudo: nothing you have<BR>Seudo: can compare to retro's stone penis<BR>Alec: can anything compare tho?	”
 	—Residents marvel at An Ode To My Cock 	—Residents marvel at An Ode To My Cock
An Ode To My Cock, also commonly called the Spawn Dong, was a phallic monument in Asgarth on Halfast during the Eighth Era.
It was located balls deep into the region's center on the south side of the Fish Bowl; as such it was often the first thing newcomers leered and lusted over as they arrived on Halfast. 
Made fully erect by Retro in a single day, the 120-meter tall penis was said to be anatomically faithful to its creator at a 1:1 scale. Though at first the sculpture was quite literally rock-hard, he later replaced its stone superstructure when he was finally able to get wood—specifically, jungle and spruce wood.
Reception among the community was mixed; some some considered the Cock unparalleled artistic magnificence worthy of tears, while others found it distasteful and crude. Though it gained approval of the Hierach of Halfast HyperSilence, the Greywatch faction considered the structure profane enough to name Retro a public enemy, leading Lord Commander Lex to shaft him by placing a bounty on his head. Alec collected the bounty on behalf of Eternal Chaos by crossing swords with Retro in the shadow of the Cock and repeatedly thrusting into him.
Retro later installed a redstone fireworks launcher activated from a button at the base and tip, allowing it to shoot great bursts of white in an explosive climax on demand.
An Ode to My Cock was the largest depiction of the dong in the known universe, which Retro had taken as his personal symbol and worn as a bannerhat in eras past.
The statue had a companion piece, the RetroVag, but unsurprisingly nobody on Halfast ever laid eyes on it, and Retro gave the whole world blue balls by leaving it incomplete.
=Quotes=
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Show/Hide Quotes
ItzWahoo_ joined the server for the first time!<BR>Retro: welcome<BR>Retro: you like mah cock?<BR>Retro: haha<BR>ItzWahoo_ was too good for us and left the server<BR>Alec: ope<BR>Retro: he looked me right in the eyes<BR>Retro: and dced
Jinx: im sorry whomst the fuck is making a massive dick at spawn<BR>Alec: retro
Alec: god damn<BR>Alec: these are some massive balls<BR>Jinx: i would like them better if they were wood
Alec: we were praising ur masterpiece<BR>Jinx: retro your dick should be wood<BR>Alec: oak logs<BR>Retro: Thanks :D<BR>Alec: the ones with all 3 sides<BR>Retro: also yes that would be ideal<BR>Alec: omg<BR>Alec: how<BR>Alec: my farm hasnt produced nearly enough<BR>Retro: a man can dream can't he
Jinx: and its a very nice dick<BR>Retro: btw, it going to be titled, "An Ode To My Cock"<BR>Alec: wonderful title<BR>Retro: tyty
Retro: Lex is intimidated by your box btw<BR>Jinx: you'd think she'd hate the giant dick more<BR>Retro: I didn't say she didn't like it. But yes she is not fond of the penis<BR>Alec: she wants the dick removed<BR>Alec: she does hate it more than the box<BR>Retro: wat<BR>Retro: my dick is butiful<BR>Retro: Lex has gotten pretty uppity now that she has an army :I
Alec: oh my<BR>Lex: What<BR>Alec: seeing the completed dick<BR>Retro: :D<BR>Lex: Work of Panda or Jinx?<BR>Alec: retro<BR>Retro: :)<BR>Lex: Good god man<BR>Alec: idk if any of the other 2 could create such a master piece<BR>Alec: cost him quite a bit of stone tho<BR>Lex: I can see that<BR>Retro: just a drop in the bucket really<BR>Alec: lol<BR>Lex: Im not even sure if it is correct anatomy wise ngl<BR>Alec: lol<BR>Retro: oh it is<BR>Retro: very well proportioned<BR>Alec: indeed<BR>Boiled Rice: does it have protection<BR>Retro: ofc not<BR>Alec: lil small as he said sleek's tower makes him feel a lil insecure<BR>Retro: it stays unprotected<BR>Lex: The protection is that its too big for anyone to take
Retro: I feel like the penis is getting a bad rap lately<BR>Jinx: retro this is a predominantly male server and most of the females are lesbian<BR>Jinx: i dont really think there are that many gay men here<BR>Retro: welp<BR>Retro: guess I don't know how to read a room
lineuzinhoo: note to myself: dont go south<BR>Jinx: south is where the best things are<BR>iAura: penis<BR>lineuzinhoo: oh geez, iaura wasnt lying<BR>lineuzinhoo: giant penis<BR>Jinx: our very own DirkFunk built it<BR>Retro: behold!
FlyingPokemon: that thing is huge<BR>Tox: ayup<BR>Tox: he's a grow-er not a show-er
splarbs: whoa<BR>splarbs: im off for a week and theres a dick?<BR>Retro: it only took a day to erect :D
Eustace: also i just noticed that theres a big stone phallic object in the distance<BR>Eustace thats my next goal<BR>Eustace anything is a dildo if you're brave enough
Retro: I can get back to my dong<BR>Azureila: yes get back to the dong, it needs love
mickdm: so i just saw on discord that there's a spawn dong<BR>HyperSilence: wot<BR>FlyingPokemon: a spawn dong?<BR>HyperSilence: LOL<BR>HyperSilence: thats from old maps<BR>HyperSilence: if you mean the giant penis<BR>FlyingPokemon: oh Retro's ode to his co()ck<BR>HyperSilence: @Retrontology made that 2 seaons ago<BR>mickdm: oh that was 2 years ago i see<BR>HyperSilence: it was beautiful
Retro: I can get back to my dong<BR>Azureila: yes get back to the dong, it needs love
=Gallery=
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File:2023-12-29_05.38.25.png|Just the tip, with fireworks launcher
File:2023-12-29_05.38.55.png|Balls-eye view of the interior
File:2023-12-29_05.39.03.png|Up the tube, showing launcher mechanics
File:2023-12-29_05.41.02.png|A white geyser erupts from the tip
=Behind the Scenes=
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The following is out-of-universe information about real-world Halfast.
	Jinx: hey how does that blueprint thing go?<BR>Retro: what blueprint thing?<BR>Jinx: that you built the dick with<BR>Retro: ahh<BR>Retro: I converted a 3d model I pulled off the internet into mc voxels<BR>Retro: saved as a schematic, then used layer by layer mode in litematica to create it	
	—Retro explains how he designed An Ode To My Cock 	—Retro explains how he designed An Ode To My Cock
Retro completed An Ode To My Cock in just one day on May 20th, 2019. He downloaded a 3D model of an erect penis on the internet (as one does) and converted it into a schematic for the Minecraft mod Litematica so that he could recreate it in-game block-by-block.
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Category:Statues
Category:Art
Category:Asgarth Locations