After-Show

After-Show is the 4th episode of the first season of Late Nights With Sheldon!, airing on May 13th, 2023, and written by Locknloaded23.
== Plot ==
The gang goes out for dinner after their show.
== Script ==
(Episode with Sheldon at his desk, waving to the audience)
Plankton: Goodnight, everyone! You’ve been a lovely audience!
(The audience cheers as the curtains close; however, within a few seconds, a drumroll is heard)
Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the ACTUAL talk show you came here to see… THE SQUILLIAM SHOW!
(The audience erupts in cheer as the curtains reveal Squilliam Fancyson sitting at Plankton’s desk)
Squilliam: Good evening, and welcome to my talk-show program!
(Sudden cut to Squidward, Sheldon and ManRay at a restaurant)
Plankton: God damn, that show sucked.
Squidward: Hey, I thought it was good.
Plankton: Oh, please. You only say that because of the segment where you threw pies at people in the park.
ManRay: That segment sucked.
Plankton: Yeah, it really wasn’t one of our best ones.
Squidward: Oh, come on. It wasn’t THAT bad.
Plankton: Squidward, did you really not see how half the audience were looking at their phones the entire time that segment was on?
Squidward: Yeah, so?
Plankton: Nobody was on their phones UNTIL that segment played. Face it. That segment SUCKED.
(Squidward looks down in shame as there is a brief, awkward pause)
ManRay: Say, you know what I’ve wondered?
Plankton: No, I don’t. What have you wondered?
ManRay: What is on the air AFTER our show ends?
Plankton: What, you didn’t know? It’s just some other public-access talk show.
Squidward: So… you share the network with ANOTHER talk show?
Plankton: Yup. (Impatiently taps desk) When the Hell is that waiter gonna get here with my Kelpsi? 
ManRay: Who HOSTS the other show?
Plankton: Hell if I know, dude. After the show’s done and after our usual post-show dinner, I usually just go home and go to sleep.
Squidward: I go home and watch the dancing channel.
ManRay: Really? Well, I go home to the poor bastard who I’ve kept captive in my basement for the past 20 years.
Plankton: Say, how is Jerry, anyway?
ManRay: Oh, he’s fine. He caught some stomach virus last night, so I had to take care of him all night, but he should be okay.
Squidward: Wait, he caught a stomach bug?
ManRay: Yes.
Squidward: Aren’t those things highly contagious?
ManRay: I suppose so. What’s your point?
Squidward: Did you remember to WASH YOUR HANDS before you came to work today?
ManRay: Uh… I think so.
Plankton: Dude, you could be infecting us with that damn virus right now!
ManRay: You’re all just a bunch of babies. I’m immune to getting viruses and diseases.
(Suddenly, and without warning, ManRay vomits all over the table as Squidward and Plankton scream in disgust and horror as they are covered in his vomit; Then, after a small bit of silence, a waiter comes carrying 3 drinks)
Waiter: Your drinks, sirs.
Plankton: Oh, thank you!
(Squidward and Plankton start drinking their sodas as if nothing happened; Cut back to Squilliam’s talk show, where sitting in the chair is an Anchovy in a suit as the audience is laughing, along with Squilliam, at something)
Squilliam: Boy, you are a card! No wonder you’ve been famous for so long!
Anchovy: Meep.
Squilliam: Say, while you’re here, why not tell us about your newest book? It seems to be flying off the shelves! It was hard for me to even find one copy of it!
Anchovy: Meep.
Squilliam: Oh, yeah? Like what kinds of things?
Anchovy: Meep.
Squilliam: Fascinating! Is that what got you into show business?
Anchovy: Meep.
(Squilliam and the audience start laughing)
Squilliam: I say, out of all our guests tonight, YOU have got to be the FUNNIEST!
(Cut to backstage, where Ned and the Needlefish are watching on a small TV)
Ned: Wow. Kinda a rude thing to say while we’re still here, but sure, whatever.
(Cut back)
Squilliam: You’ve been a lovely guest here tonight!
Anchovy: Meep.
Squilliam: Do you have any final comments before we end the show? Any more funny quips to deliver?
Anchovy: Meep.
(The audience explodes with laughter for 6 seconds, as Squilliam wipes the tears from his face)
Squilliam: Wow, what a show! That’ll conclude our program tonight! Thanks for watching, everyone! 
(Squilliam waves to the audience as the curtains fall; cut to Squidward, ManRay and Plankton in a car, with Squidward driving, Plankton on shotgun and ManRay in the back)
ManRay: Why don’t I ever get shotgun?
Plankton: Because I always call shotgun before you even consider getting it. 
Squidward: It’s the truth, ManRay. When you call shotgun, you’re the one who gets it.
Plankton: You snooze, you lose, as they say.
ManRay: Hmph, whatever.
Squidward: Oh, geez…
Plankton: What’s wrong, Squidward?
Squidward: Suddenly my stomach is just aching like mad… I probably shouldn’t have ordered 4 rounds of the same meal…
Plankton: Yeah, I really don’t know what you were thinking.
ManRay: Well, you can’t vomit. You’re the one driving.
Plankton: If he pulls the window down, he probably could.
ManRay: But that’s a danger. He’s driving.
Squidward: God, put me out of my misery! MY STOMACH HURTS SO F[dolphin chirp] MUCH!
(Squidward starts swerving the car as he tries to hold his stomach)
Squidward: ManRay, you son of a bitch, I think you gave me that stomach virus!
Plankton: Well, he can’t just hold it in!
ManRay: God, Squidward, just puke out the window! You’re obviously not well enough to drive!
Squidward: (Queasily and weakly) It’s fine, guys… I can… I… I can… I can drive…
(Squidward vomits all over the front window as they all scream and the car hits a tree; they all step outside as Squidward rushes behind a bush and audibly starts puking)
Plankton: You just HAD to give him that stomach virus, ManRay.
ManRay: Hey, it’s not MY fault!
Plankton: YES IT IS! YOU DIDN’T WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE THE SHOW, VOMITED ALL OVER US, AND NOW LOOK AT HIM! He’s lucky if he has any stomach left at the rate at which he’s vomiting!
ManRay: Yeah, holy hell, that is a little concerning.
(They just watch Squidward continue to vomit offscreen for 6 seconds)
Plankton: Wanna see a movie?
ManRay: Sure.
(Episode ends)
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