Rackcoon

The eighth episode of the second season. Enjoy!
==Script==
*(The episode starts with Rack waking up with an uncaring, tired expression on his face. He then puts his clothes on and heads to the kitchen.)
*NH: You smell!
*(Rack does not say a word. He then heads to the car. He then stops at: "USville's Nursing Home: 40+ can join!" and heads inside.)
*(Rack takes care of many old people.)
*Old Man: Ah....... that's better.
*Rack: (smells, unenthusiastically): Again?
*Old Man: Well, whippersnapper, stop cooking us those year old cookies and our bodies would be nicer to you. That's what I hate about today! No one listens to us! If only they would, we would have less accidents and be nice! I tell them that every time.........
*(Rack's watch beeps.)
*Rack: (unenthusiastically): Oh, good, my shift's over.
*(Rack reads the watch: It says "12 hours of shift left". Rack looks angry, but reverts to normal.)
*(Cut to the next day. Rack wakes up, still having a tired, uncaring face, and does the same routine as yesterday.)
*NH: I hate you!
*(Rack continues to repeat his routine.)
*(Rack stirs up food.)
*Old Man: Come on, faster! I want my gums to have that creamed corn!
*(Old Man's dentures fall in the creamed corn.)
*Rack: (unenthusiastically): Of course.
*Old Man: No, keep stirring! Mash it fifty times and then I can swallow it!
*(The routine continues once again.)
*NH: I want to annihilate you!
*(The routine keeps continuing.)
*Old Man: Clean 'em good, boy! I haven't cleaned my dentures in sixty years!
*(Rack falls down, unconscious.)
*(And once again, the routine continues.)
*(Cut to NH. He's next to a machine.)
*(A montage begins to play of the same thing happening every day.)
*NH: Ah, finally! After years of making this, I have finally done it! Hm, I can't remember what this is called.
*(Sees the name is covered by dust.)
*NH: Eh, oh well. Time to annihilate!
*Rack: I've had enough. It's always the same thing everyday. Everyday. I want something new, exciting, shocking, surprising, just, something new. Something that doesn't involve doggie yelling at me, cleaning up old people's accidents, feeding them and cleaning their dentures. (shudders): I need something new. That's all.
*(NH zaps Rack with the invention. Nothing happens.)
*NH: Of course.
*Rack: Whoa, I don't feel any different, but at the same time, I do.
*NH: Well, it didn't kill him, but it looks like it did something.
*(Cut to that morning.)
*Rack: Huh, for some reason, I feel like walking on my legs and arms. Why not? It's something different.
*(Rack walks on all fours.)
*Rack: Wow, I should do this more often.
*(Rack, instead of driving, walks on all fours to work.)
*Rack: (with whiskers): Whoa, I have whiskers now! I wonder why........
*Old Man: Is your brain in the right noggin, whippersnapper? You're walkin' like a dog!
*Rack: I'm not sure, but boy, at least it's something different!
*Old Man: Young people these days, they're so weird.
*("A few hours later" screen appears.)
*Old Man: You almost done in there, whippersnapper?
*Rack: Almost, just experimenting with my new nose!
*Old Man: Things sure are less expensive nowadays then.........
*(Later. Rack is home, with his ears different.)
*Rack: Huh, I can hear better now!
*(The next day.)
*Rack: Whoa, I have a tail now! Sweet!
*(Cut to Rack at work.)
*Rack: I wonder why my eyes are beady now......... oh well!
*Old Man: Darn kids get weirder and weirder everyday........
*(The next day.)
*Rack: Whoa, I feel different........
*(Rack looks at himself in the mirror.)
*Rack: Whoa! I'm a...... raccoon! I don't know whether to be horrified or happy!
*(Cut to Rack, NH, US and Rig in Town Hall.)
*US: So Raclk is a Raclkcoon now? Great! Now all of my friends are animals!
*Rack, NH & Rig: We're not really your friends..........
*Dep. Mayor: What about me?
*US: You're not my friend, you're my slave.
*Dep. Mayor: Oh............
*(The Dep. Mayor walks away.)
*Rig: Aw, Rackles is so cute now! Can I feed him?!
*NH: No!
*Rack: For some reason, I feel like ripping my clothes off! (Rips them off) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............. that's better! Now I know what NH meant!
*NH: Finally...........
*US: Raclk, please don't make me put on goggles.
*Rig: Aw, Rackles is even cuter! So adorable!
*(Rig plays with Rack.)
*Rack: Wow, being a raccoon is fun!
*Rig: NH, can we adopt him?
*NH: No! We're not adopting the hum- uh, raccoon!
*Rig: Come on, pwease?! I'll take care of him, play with him, feed him, squeeze him and never let him go!
*(Rack tries to get out, but to no avail.)
*NH: No! Having a pet will distract us!
*Rig: AW, you're no fun!
*NH: I know. It's fun not being fun.
*Rig: (laughs): Anyway, can we at least visit him?
*NH: You can on your own time and get rabies, but not on my take over town and in turn world time.
*Rig: I dunno what that means, but okie dokie!
*NH: Come on, let's just go and leave the hu-, raccoon alone.
*Rig: Aw, only 5 more minutes?
*NH: Now!
*Rig: Aw. Bye Mr. Rackles.
*(They all leave.)
*Rack: (quickly moving and sniffing around the office): Wow, being an animal is more fun than I thought! You know......... I have the sudden urge to eat garbage....... why not?!
*(Rack runs outside and gets into a garbage can.)
*Rack: Mm! Nothing better than insects, rodents and other disgusting foods............ to humans. Aw, it's already finished! Hm........ now what to do........... I know!
*(Rack runs into a restaurant. There is a lot of good looking food.)
*Rack: Perfect.
*(A montage plays of Rack eating a lot of good looking food.)
*Woman: Great, now a hairy little rat has ruined my night!
*Rack: I-I'm sorry. I was hungry.
*(Everyone besides Rack gasps.)
*Rack: What?
*Woman #2: Is-is that thing, talking?!
*Man: I'm pretty sure it is. Hm.
*(The Man goes up to Rack and measures him.)
*Man: Holy cheese and crackers, a talking rat!
*Rack: I'm a raccoon!
*(Everyone besides Rack gasp.)
*Rack: I have a bad feeling about this........
*(Cut to NH, US and Rig.)
*Rig: I miss Rackles. I was gonna give him an acorn too........
*NH: Are you kidding?! Life without the hu-, uh, raccoon, is perfect!
*US: Agreed with NY. Ugh, where's my sign to amuse me?
*Rig: I don't care what you guys think, I miss him a lot..........
*NH: Why don't you just search for him or something?
*Rig: YES! See ya guys later!
*(Rig goes under the ground and digs.)
*NH: Well I'm going to enjoy life all alone. Ah.
*US: You do that.
*(Cut to Rack's house. NH is enjoying being alone.)
*NH: Ah, this is more like it! No one to make me take baths, wear pants or clothes, complain about my fur getting on the couch, nag me to do healthy stuff....... it's just perfect. Hm, I'm famished. I better get some food.
*(NH goes into the kitchen and sees there is no food.)
*NH: Darn........ A-ha!
*(NH grabs out a few dead squirrels.)
*NH: This should cure it. But, how do I cook them? (Shrugs)
*(NH puts the squirrels in the oven and sets the temperature dangerously high.)
*(Later. Rack's house is burned down.)
*NH: Eh, just bad luck.
*(Later.)
*NH: (clipping toe-nails): Eh, this'll be a piece of cake.
*(Later.)
*NH: Eh, I'll regain the feeling in my toes. I hope.
*NH: (brushing teeth): I wonder how you do this............
*(Later.)
*NH: (toothless): Eh, there's always dentures.
*(Later.)
*NH: Hm, I could use a trim.
*(Later.)
*NH: (no fur): No problem, it'll only take 5 years to grow back............
*(Later.)
*NH: At least I can do my inventions still.
*(The power goes out.)
*NH: Sigh, let me guess, the electric bill? I....... I can't believe I am saying this, but I need the hu-, raccoon to care for me as I am incapable to.
*(NH goes to US while Rig is still trying to search for Rack.)
*NH: US, this may be crazy, but we should get the hu-, raccoon back!
*US: You crazy, bro? Life's just fine without him.
*(Suddenly, US's TV is on.)
*Reporter: I have an amazing thing to report! You see, we have found out the first ever talking rat in all of history!
*Rack: Raccoon!
*Reporter: He was at a restaurant eating all the customers' food and once he spoke, he became a star! Now he's in magazines, has a video game, a movie, a cartoon series, a statue to pose with and his own help column for rats: "Rabies Talk with Rack Raccoon"!
*US: WHAT?! NO! RACLK CAN NEVER BE ON THE NEWS BEFORE ME OR BE MORE POPULAR THAN ME! LET'S GO, NY!
*NH: Well, first, we need to find out a way to change him back.
*US: YES! LET'S MAKE AN INVENTION TOGETHER!
*NH: I don't think that's a good-.
*US: Come on, let's go to your lab thing-a-ma-jig!
*NH: Me and my big mouth.........
*(Cut to Rig, who is still digging.)
*Rig: Come on, Rackles, where are you?! I have acorns!
*(Cut to Rack, who is on a podium talking to people.)
*Rack: And that, is how I am not a rat.
*Man #2: What was that rat talking about?
*Woman #3: I have no idea.
*(Cut to NH and US.)
*US: Ooh, I know, it should be a lamp!
*NH: No, idiot, we need to take this seriously.
*US: If the lamp goes, then I go.
*NH: Huh.......... fine. But let me do everything else.
*US: Alright, broham.
*(NH puts electricity inside the lamp, causing it to glow.)
*NH: Perfect.
*US: Best. Lamp. EVER!
*NH: Now to test it.
*(NH shoots a cockroach. It turns into an obese, messy man.)
*Man #3: Whoa, what happened?! And why am I wearing clothes?!
*NH: Sssh, the censors will catch on. But anyway, it works beautifully. Let's go!
*US: Finally!
*(NH and US run to where Rack is.)
*(Cut back to Rack.)
*Rack: And I, am a very proud raccoon.
*(The audience is asleep.)
*NH: Prepare to be humanized, hu-raccoon-whatever!
*(NH shoots it at Rack, and Rack is human again, and entirely naked.)
*Rack: (covering front, laughs nervously)
*Man #4: Wait, he's just some nudist in a raccoon costume?!
*Woman #4: I knew it all along! Stuff like this is always a scam!
*Rack: No, wait, it's not what you think!
*Man #4: Right. Go away, phony!
*(Everyone throws random stuff at him and Rack runs away, embarrassed.)
*Rig: Rackles, I finally........ I see this is a bad time, I'll talk to you later.
*Rack: Why on Earth did I rip my clothes off?!
*(Rack keeps running while a mob is following him.)
*NH: Yep, everything is back to normal.
*US: Ah.
*Man #3: What happened to my feelers!? I want to be a bug again!
*US: Eh, close enough.
*THE END.
==Credits==
===Starring===
*Rackliffelikespurple as Rack
*New Heathera as NH
*Utter solitude as US
*Rigbybestie1510 as Rig
*Old Man as Old Man
*Deputy Mayor as Deputy Mayor
*People as People
===Writing===
*Story by: Rigbybestie1510
*Written by: Rackliffelikespurple, New Heathera and Utter solitude
*Additional Material: The bright cube and Racc00n
===Thanks===
To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.
===Inspirations===
* <----- Thanks to that for starting the whole joke and episode.
* <----- Thanks to that for helping very much with the episode.
==Other==
I think this is one of the greatest episodes of the series. Major thanks to NH for adding a lot of the material and making it perfect.
Next week's gonna be really cool. :)
Thanks for reading! :D
Category:Episodes