Royal Review/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Royal Review".
== ==
(The book opens up to explain about the Royal Review.)
Poppy: Trolls are fundamentally happy creatures, so complaining does not come naturally us. (The Trolls in the book climb on top of each other but fall.) Even when things go wrong. And that’s tough when you’re a ruler, ‘cause you never know how your people really feel about the job you’re doing, which is why we Trolls decided to invent and anonymous survey called the Royal Review. A smile means great work, while a frown means… room for improvement. (Paper sharks appear and it is revealed that Poppy is scrapbooking to relieve her stress.) Nom nom, nom. If only I tried harder! (She continues to pretend to bite like sharks when Peppy clears his throat.) Oh, uh… hey, Dad. (She puts the book away and laughs.) What’s the rumpus?
Peppy: Poppy, you’re stress-booking again.
Poppy: What? Me? Stress-booking? (She laughs and glitter comes out of the box.)
Peppy: Glue stick, please. (Poppy gives him the glue stick.) And the backup. (Poppy gives him the backup.)
Poppy: Sorry, Dad. I’m just nervous about the review tonight. You always got perfect scores, and I don’t want to find out I’m a letdown.
Peppy: I get it, honey. (He gets up on her bed.) I remember my first review. It was winter, and food was scarce. The people were desperate for something to eat. So they turned to me to decide… Who would it be?
Poppy: (confused) Wait, what?
Peppy: (Getting off Poppy’s bed) Yeah, but that’s a story for another time. For now, stop worrying. Don’t get hung up on being perfect. (He kisses Poppy in the hand and leaves.)
Poppy: Yeah, sure, I’ll just kick back and relax here till the vote. (As she relaxes, she hums and pops her lips. She slowly becomes nervous.) Now or not, Got to go find Smidge. (She goes to find Smidge, but she appears hanging her hair outside her pod.)
Smidge: I’m here. (Poppy bumps into her and they fall off the tree screaming. Smidge uses her hair to grab a branch and save them.)
Poppy: Whew! Thanks, Smidge. Wait, how’d you know I was looking for you?
Smidge: As you right-hand Troll, I’m pretty much always 10 feet away listening in, watching your every move. Always.
Poppy: Uh, we should talk about that. But first I need you to do me a favor.
Smidge: Actually, let me guess. (The camera cuts to a scrapbook.) Today is the day of the Royal Review, and the suspense is killing you. (She impersonates Poppy.) I’m dying inside! (She goes back to her normal voice.) So you want me to go pod to pod, on the sly, to collect a preliminary vote and bring it back to you, finally ending the agony of not knowing.
Poppy: Smidge, you’re freaking me out.
Smidge: I’ll take that as a yes. Meet me at the Black Rock in one hour. Tell no one.
Spiders: Oooooh!
Spider: Ooh, creepy. (Poppy walks into the Black Rock.)
Poppy: Smidge? (She chuckles nervously and a loud screeching can be heard.)
Smidge: (echoing) Oh, my Guh… (Poppy jumps in fright.)
Poppy: Smidge? Psst. Smidge. (She sees something scary.) Aah! (The camera reveals Smidge in a disguise.)
Smidge: You got the cookies?
Poppy: Huh? What are you talking about?
Smidge: (Removing her glasses and mustache) Sorry, that’s the thing I’m doing here later. But I asked everyone in town how they were gonna vote in the review tonight, and I brought you the results. (She pours the faces out of a box.)
Poppy: (laughs) So many smiley faces! (She digs into the pile.) Smiley face. Smiley face. Big smiley face. (She throws some faces into the air.) Whoo! (sighs) What a relief. Can you believe that I was all bent out in shape, worried I’d get a… (A frowny face lands on her nose.) A fru-fru-fru-fru-frowny face?! (She hyperventilates in panic.)
Smidge: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, boss, scrap it out. (She takes out a book.) Let the book absorb the pain.
Poppy: No, Smidge, it won’t help. After tonight’s review, I’ll officially be a… a letdown. (She calms down.) Wait, what am I saying. There’s still time. I could change their mind before then.
Smidge: Uh, you don’t even know who it is. (Poppy looks at the frowny face for a moment.)
Poppy: Oh, yes, I do. (The camera zooms into the frowny face. Later, Poppy goes to see Branch picking flowers. She moves the frowny face around and growls.) See, I knew it was Branch. He could find a problem with anything. (As Branch goes near the bushes, she and Smidge hide.)
Branch: Whoa. These flowers are so majestic. Might as well hang up a flashing sign: “Troll Hiding Here.” (He starts hitting the bushes with a baseball bat. The camera moves down to see that some of Poppy and Smidge’s hair have been cut off.)
Smidge: Want me to pay him a “friendly” visit? “Encourage” him to vote smiley face?
Poppy: Or… I pay him an actual friendly visit.
Smidge: Or maybe both. (Poppy comes out of the bushes.)
Poppy: Hey, hey, Branch-zilla.
Branch: Oh. Hey, Poppy-zilla. What’s going on?
Poppy Going on? I’m just seeing what my best bud, Branch is doing. Let me guess, preparing for the inevitable breakdown of all world infrastructure?
Branch: Yes. And some laundry.
Poppy: Man, your to-do list must be a blast. I don’t suppose you would let your queen tag along and tackle it with you, would you? Please, please, please?
Branch: Boy, you’re acting weird. Wait, you’re not throwing me a surprise party, are you? (He jumps into a bush and hides.)
Poppy: Branch, can’t a good queen help her friend do his totally not strange survivalist chores without some ulterior motive?
Branch: Uh-huh. (He comes out of the bush.) Well, I can see I have no reason to doubt you, so let’s go have some fun. (He and Poppy go down the elevator into his bunker.) Okay, first thing on the agenda: Restock some emergency rations.
Poppy: (Throwing a cabbage up and down) Ooh, really. I love gardening. (Branch takes the cabbage in his hair.)
Branch: (chuckles) No. We’re good on veggies. We’re gonna replenish the sweat supply. (He shows a shelf with bottles of sweat. Then he takes a bottle.) Salty gold. Packet with electrolytes.
Poppy: And… how do we get the sweat.
Branch: We harvest it. (He pulls a lever to reveal a machine.) Unless, of course, you’re having second thoughts.
Poppy: Are you kidding me? It sounds like the best day ever. (Poppy starts doing Branch’s chores. As she runs on the machine while wearing a mask to get the sweat out, it pours into buckets and Branch measures them. Then he gives her a cup of water. As the montage of the chores play, Poppy sings Best Day Ever.)
(Poppy)
Today’s a perfect day
In every single way
(Spiders)
Whoo-ooh-ooh
Whoo-ooh-ooh
(Poppy) 
I’m floating on air right now
And nothing can bring me down
(Spiders)
Whoo-ooh-ooh, Whoo-ooh-ooh
Branch: (Opening up a vent) Got to clear out the dust bunnies.
(Poppy)
Shout from the highest mountain
(Spiders)
Whoo-ooh-ooh
(Poppy)
As loud as I can
Oh, yeah
(Chorus)
Yeah!
(Poppy)
Today’s the best day ever
(Chorus)
Whoo!
(Poppy)
Best day ever
Oh, yeah
(Chorus)
Yeah!
(Poppy) Today’s the best day ever
(Chorus)
Whoo!
(Poppy)
Best day ever
And I’m flying high!
Branch: (While a tired and messy Poppy walks behind him) Poppy, old chum, you’ll be happy to know I saved the best for last. (He moves some grass out of the way.)
Poppy: Oh. Great. (A Cuddle Pup yips while lying down.) Ha! So cute! (The Cuddle Pup gets up and more appear.) This is a great surprise.
Branch: (laughs) Oh, no, not them. (He pushes the Cuddle Pups away with his hair.) Trust me, Cuddle Pups are monsters. This is the surprise. (He shows Poppy a huge pile of manure.) Sweet fertilizer. Sulphury gold. (Poppy becomes shocked and Branch gives her a shovel. She looks at the Cuddle Pups and the Manure.)
Poppy: No! I-I can’t do this anymore! (She walks closer to Branch.) I won’t Branch, you hear me?
Branch: Poppy? Are you gonna pooper scoop me to death?
Poppy: Just tell me, are you giving me a smiley face in the review or not?
Branch: Oh! This is about the Royal Review. I knew you were acting like a nut for some reason.
Poppy: Yeah, yeah. Very smart. Now, the smiley face?
Branch: Well, sure. You earned it.
Poppy: (Doing a celebration dance) Woo-hoo! Yeah! Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Smiley face, smiley face.
Branch: You seem surprised.
Poppy: Uh, yeah. You did vote the frowny face in Smidge’s preliminary vote.
Branch: No, I didn’t. I voted Smiley face. (Smidge pops up.)
Poppy and Smidge: You did?
Branch: Wait, Smidge, were you hiding in the manure?
Smidge: Huh?
Poppy: Never mind that, Branch. We have bigger cakes to frost here. ‘Cause if you didn’t vote frowny face… it could be anyone!
Branch: Poppy, this is getting out of hand. You shouldn’t care so much about this whole Royal Review.
Poppy: Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. (sighs) OK, the goal hasn’t changed. Only now, since I don’t know who the disgruntled Troll is, I just need to find a way to make everyone in the down happy before the review.
Smidge: (Showing her watch) Which is in 10 minutes.
Poppy: In 10 minutes? (Branch imitates a ticking sound. Then she pushes him aside.) That’s it! (Fuzzbert takes out a vine with Bella at his side.)
Bella: The Royal Review is now open. (As the line of Trolls moves, Poppy appears.)
Poppy: Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Before you all vote, as your queen, I wanted to show you my gratitude for doing your civic duty and participating in this Royal Review. Smidge? Release the hounds! (Smidge appears with a wheel of Cuddle Pups.)
All: Aw. (DJ Suki and Guy Diamond pick up a Cuddle Pup while Biggie puts Mr. Dinkles on another.)
Biggie: Oh, it’s just like that dream we had, Mr. Dinkles. (A Cuddle Pup sniffs at Cooper.)
Cooper: Hm? Now, don’t make it weird, dog. (As the Trolls play with the Cuddle Pups, Branch comes up to Poppy.)
Branch: Poppy, what are you doing? I told you those Cuddle Pups are-
Poppy: Monsters. I know. (She picks up a Cuddle Pup.) But does this look like a monster to you? (The Cuddle Pup licks Branch’s face.)
Branch: No, but its mom does. (A huge shadow falls over him and Poppy. An adult Cuddle Pup roars and the Trolls run away.)
Smidge: Oh, my Guh. (She uses her hair to hide up in a tree. The adult Cuddle Pup destroys a pod and Branch hides behind a mushroom. Some Trolls use their hair to curl themselves up into balls, but the adult Cuddle Pup flings them away. Satin and Chenille try to separate from each other but can’t because of their attached hair.)
Biggie: To the high ground, Mr. Dinkles! (He trips over Satin and Chenille’s hair. Peppy then appears.)
Peppy: Double-scoop my sundae! What is going on?!
Poppy: Dad! (She drags Peppy behind the mushroom she is hiding behind.) I’m so sorry. I had Smidge take an early vote and I got a frowny face. I was so worried about being a letdown that I tried to butter up everyone with Cuddle Pups. This is all my fault.
Peppy: All this over one frowny face?
Poppy: Mm-hm.
Peppy: Well, that sounds about right. Poppy, I gave you the frowny face.
Poppy: (shocked) What?!
Peppy: Yep. It was to teach you to stop worrying about being perfect or a letdown or something like that. I’m old. I do what I want.
Poppy: Dad, I can’t believe you would- (She and her father hear the roaring and screaming. They run out of their hiding place and see the chaos.) Uh, we’ll discuss it later. Right now we have more pressing problems.
Peppy: I’m not worried. You’ll find a good solution. Maybe not the perfect one, but a good one. (Poppy goes to find a solution.)
Poppy: Yoo-hoo! Stick here. Who wants the stick? You want the stick, girl? Well, then go fetch! (She throws the stick, but the adult Cuddle Pup growls at her.)
Peppy: Okay, that was a bad solution. (The adult Cuddle Pup chases Poppy.)
Poppy: Smidge! If ever there was a time for you to be nearby, watching my every move, it’d be right… now! (Smidge saves her from being eaten by swinging at her.)
Smidge: Argh! (The adult Cuddle Pup hits a tree and falls into the water. The babies run toward her and they walk away to together. Meanwhile, the Trolls are cheering for Poppy and Smidge who are still hanging on a branch.)
Poppy: Got to say, Smidge, right at this moment, I’m glad you’re always 10 feet away.
Smidge: Me too, Poppy. Me too.
Poppy: Now please cut it out.
Smidge: Understood. (Fuzzbert shows a smiley face to Poppy.)
Bella: It’s a smiley face! (The crowd cheers and Fuzzbert takes out another smiley face.) And another smiley face! (The crowd cheers again.)
Poppy: You know, Dad, I’ve had enough for today. I’m think I’m gonna go unwind.
Peppy: Now? You’re on your way to a perfect score.
Poppy: Maybe. But no matter what the votes say, I know I’ve got room for improvement. And I’m actually fine with that.
Branch: Great news, Poppy. The mama Pup left a little something behind that we could add to our stockpile. (He shows the pile of manure with some Trolls groaning. Poppy runs away when she sees Branch holding a shovel.) Oh, really? You’re not gonna help?
Poppy: (As she runs and jumps in the air) Nope. Sorry to be a letdown.
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