Pilot (Script)

To read the description for this episode, go to Pilot.
== Script ==
Pre-intro scene, in the halls. We begin with a shot of BETH, walking down the halls, but we only see HER legs.
BETH: [V. O] What do you give someone who has everything? It's a common question, and no one seems to have the answer.
The camera moves up, showing a Cheerio uniform.
BETH: Some might say I already have everything. And, maybe they're right. I have a charming, yet uneventful life, an amazing mother, I go to a pretty good school, and I'm head of one of the best cheer squads in the city. I get almost everything handed to me on a silver platter. But, I want excitement. I want drama. I want... More.
QUENTIN: [Offscreen] Beth!
Zoom out, to show BETH completely. She turns, as QUENTIN runs to her.
BETH: Well, hey you. 
She ruffles his hair as he looks at her, unimpressed.
BETH: I had to, you're cute.
QUENTIN: [Deadpanned] I am, aren't I? 
BETH smiles, distractedly.
QUENTIN: Oh god. You're thinking, aren't you? 
BETH: I do a lot of thinking, about a lot of things!
QUENTIN: Name three.
BETH: Cats... Hair... Rent... 
QUENTIN: Name three that aren't musicals.
BETH: Okay, you got me. And, yes, I'm thinking.
QUENTIN: Spill.
He leans against a locker, but before BETH can speak, A JOCK walks over.
JOCK: That's my locker. Move.
QUENTIN: Oh, sorry, babe.
BETH starts to drag him away, but he stops to wave at the JOCK, seductively.
BETH: [Laughing] Stop! He could snap you like a twig.
She pulls him down the hall, as they both laugh. They collapse against a wall, out of breath.
QUENTIN: Already facing death by jock, and it's not even lunchtime yet... Just another Tuesday! Now, come on, darling, tell me everything.
BETH: Quen... Do you ever want something exciting to happen?
QUENTIN: Always. Anything in mind?
BETH: No. Not yet, anyway. But, I'll think of something.
QUENTIN: I have faith in you. Hey... What's that picture over there?
BETH: That old thing? You've never noticed?
QUENTIN: Not really.
BETH: That's the New Directions. The Glee Club, from a while back. Rachel's in that picture.
QUENTIN: Rachel your kind-of-sister?
BETH: Yeah, that Rachel.
QUENTIN: They look really happy.
BETH: Yeah. It looks... Exciting. Hey, Quen?
QUENTIN: Uh-huh?
BETH: I have an idea.
----Scene 1, the teachers lounge. IVAN and JAMES are sitting and talking when SHAWN enters.
IVAN: Hello, fresh blood.
SHAWN: I'm sorry?
JAMES: Ignore him, he likes to tease. You must be the new Math teacher.
SHAWN: Yeah, I must be... Uh, I am. Shawn. Shawn is... My name. Shawn Larson.
JAMES: Hey, Shawn. James Benson, Guidance Counselor.
SHAWN: Great to meet you. [Softly] Really great...
JAMES hears the last part and conceals a smile.
JAMES: And, this is Ivan Pierce, our English teacher.
IVAN: Sadly, yep.
JAMES: Sad for you, or everyone else?
IVAN considers this.
JAMES: Both?
IVAN: Yeah...
SHAWN laughs.
JAMES: Sit down. We've got time.
SHAWN: Is that okay?
JAMES: Of course it is. Sit.
SHAWN obeys, immediately.
IVAN: So, Shawn... Why teach Math?
SHAWN: Well, uh, why teach English, if you don't wanna?
IVAN: Touché, man.
SHAWN: It's what my parents wanted me to do. Go to university, get a Math degree. And, the rest just happened.
JAMES: What your parents wanted.
SHAWN: Yep.
JAMES: Well, what about what you want?
SHAWN: What I want? Well, what I want doesn't matter.
IVAN: Your parents tell you that?
SHAWN fixes his gaze on the table.
IVAN: For the record, I wanted to teach Music.
SHAWN: Then, why don't you? 
IVAN: Well, there were no jobs going, and I needed money, so, I started teaching English. The opportunity still hasn't come up.
JAMES: After 9 years?
IVAN: Yeah... There's been nothing whatsoever.
JAMES: Yeah, sure. I think you just love this place too much to leave.
IVAN: [Smiling] Nah, this place is a nightmare.
A knock on the door catches everyone's attention.
IVAN: Yeah, come in.
BETH enters, QUENTIN following close behind.
IVAN: What're you kids doing here? Is everything okay?
BETH: Everything's absolutely wonderful, Mr. Pierce.
She finds herself distracted by SHAWN's bag, covered in musical-related badges. QUENTIN follows her gaze, a grin spreading across HIS face.
QUENTIN: Hi, Mr. New Math Teacher.
SHAWN: Hi. It's Mr. Larson.
QUENTIN: Quentin Talley, Sophomore. And, this is Beth Corcoran. Junior.
He elbows BETH, and she quickly snaps back to reality.
BETH: [Hissed] Ow! Sorry.
IVAN: So, did you want something, or...?
BETH: Yeah, we came to ask a favour. 
IVAN: I'm scared already.
QUENTIN: Not you this time, Mr. Pierce, don't worry. We love you, though.
IVAN: [Amused] Thanks, kid.
BETH: So, Mr. Larson?
SHAWN: Yeah...?
BETH: We're restarting McKinley's award-winning Glee Club, the New Directions.
SHAWN: [Perking up] Uh-huh? So, what do you need me for?
BETH: We need a supervisor. You don't have to do anything. I'm the captain, and Quen's the co-captain. We'll handle literally everything. All you have to do is, well, supervise. So, would you...? 
SHAWN: Yes! Of course!
BETH: But, it's such a great opp--
QUENTIN: Beth, he said yes.
BETH: Really? You mean it?
SHAWN: Yeah, I mean it! That sounds like a great idea! I'd be happy to help.
BETH: Thank you, thank you, thank you! The auditions are tomorrow, after school, in the auditorium, if we can get permission.
QUENTIN: You won't regret it!
Cut to the same scene, 10 minutes later. SHAWN takes a sip of coffee.
SHAWN: [Deadpanned, with fear-filled eyes] I regret it.
JAMES and IVAN glance to him, confused.
SHAWN: Why did I agree to be supervisor?!
IVAN: Because you're gullible? And, because... [Glancing at the bag] You clearly like musicals.
SHAWN: Okay, true, but still! I can barely supervise my sister's pet rabbit!
IVAN: Okay, first rule of teaching, children and rabbits are very different things.
SHAWN: Exactly! Rabbits don't make fun of you!
IVAN: No one makes fun of me, bud.
JAMES: Sure.
SHAWN: Really? Almost everyone makes fun of me.
IVAN: Not on my watch.
JAMES: And, this is coming from the man who literally just called him gullible? 
IVAN: That's not the point. Listen, Shawn, kid, it's gonna be fine.
JAMES: Yeah, he's right. Beth said you don't even have to do anything. Just turn up.
SHAWN: Uh, that's a lot of responsibility.
IVAN: ...You serious?
SHAWN: Yeah! What if I forget?
IVAN: Alright, breathe.
JAMES takes the pen from behind IVAN's ear and rolls SHAWN's sleeve up.
SHAWN: [Confused, possibly aroused] What are you doing?
JAMES starts writing on his arm.
JAMES: Making sure you don't forget.
SHAWN: [Laughing] Think it'll work?
JAMES: It's either this, or I follow you around, and remind you every three seconds.
SHAWN: That won't be necessary... Every three minutes'll be fine.
JAMES chuckles, and SHAWN watches him, oddly enraptured, until the bell rings.
JAMES: That time already? Come on. I'll walk you to class.
SHAWN: Thank you.
IVAN shoots him a knowing look.
----Scene 2, in the halls yet again, where VIOLA and MISTY are walking and talking.
VIOLA: And then what?
MISTY: So, then I told him no, I won't be your dance partner if you keep making gestures like that every time you ask. We're in a ballet class, it's not even a euphemism--
She stops walking.
MISTY: Huh, those sign-up sheets are new. And, there sure are a lot of them!
VIOLA: Yeah... Someone really wants people to sign up, I guess.
MISTY: What are they for?
VIOLA: [Teasingly] Are you hoping it's dance?
MISTY: I do enough dance as it is, thank you very much, Viola James! I mean, much as I love ballet, it's been, like, every week, since I was 5. Maybe I wanna do something different.
BETH sees them from across the hall and rushes over, before casually leaning against a locker, hoping they didn't notice. QUENTIN follows her with a very amused look, earning a glare.
QUENTIN: Morning, darlings.
MISTY: Hi, Quen!
VIOLA waves, shyly.
BETH: [Secretly hopeful] Are you, uh, gonna sign up?
MISTY: For a Glee Club?
VIOLA: No, I can't. I don't sing. I can't sing.
MISTY: She can. And, she has no plans tomorrow! She just told me!
VIOLA: Misty! No, er, something's come up, in the last... Minute.
MISTY rolls her eyes, fondly, and writes her name.
BETH: Viola, you should audition!
QUENTIN: Yeah! I've heard you sing!
VIOLA: Uh, when?
QUENTIN: Our 7th grade show. Remember?
MISTY: Aw, you went to middle school together?
VIOLA: [Nodding] I remember...
QUENTIN: So, sign up! It'll be like old times. [Drawn-out] Please? 
VIOLA: I have to get to class...
QUENTIN sees LYRA in the distance, and gives a dreamy smile, unable to take his eyes off them.
MISTY: At lunch?
VIOLA: Well, lunch then.
MISTY: You're so convincing(!)
VIOLA: Well, I do want lunch...
MISTY: I mean, me too.
BETH: We'll leave you to it. Viola, please consider.
VIOLA blinks, startled.
BETH: I'm very excited. Can you tell?
VIOLA: [Deadpanned] Little bit.
BETH: Come on, Quen. Much to do.
QUENTIN: Uh-huh...
BETH: Quen!
She groans in frustration and drags him away.
BETH: [In the distance] What's going on with you? We need to focus!
QUENTIN: Mm, yeah, totally...
BETH: Are you listening?
QUENTIN: Mm, yeah, totally...
MISTY and VIOLA burst into laughter.
VIOLA: I do not envy him.
MISTY: I know, right? Beth can be a little... How do I put this? Intense?
VIOLA: You don't say... Can we get lunch now, Misty?
MISTY: Yeah, let's go.
They continue walking.
MISTY: You really should audition. You have a nice voice.
VIOLA: But, Glee Club's, like, dancing too, right? You know I can't!
MISTY: [Teasingly] Ah, true.
VIOLA nudges her, making a vaguely offended noise.
MISTY: I'd teach you, silly. Of course I would.
VIOLA: I'm beyond help.
MISTY: No you're not! No one is.
VIOLA: I am! You've seen me! And, what would I even audition with?
I don't know the musical theatre stuff.
MISTY: It's up to you! It doesn't have to be musical theatre.
VIOLA: It does if I want Beth to pay attention.
MISTY: I mean, the club can't JUST do the stuff Beth likes. They'd run out of songs, eventually. And, surely people would get bored of it. Including the club themselves.
VIOLA: And, you think that'll stop her?
MISTY: Beth's lovely. Just... A little over the top. Not your kind of person, I know, but, hey, you like me, right?
VIOLA pretends to think.
VIOLA: Yeah, you're okay, I guess.
MISTY: [Laughing] Screw you. Hey, uh, I left something in my locker. You go on ahead.
VIOLA: You sure? 
MISTY: [Nodding] Of course! Go on.
VIOLA: Well, okay...
She reluctantly goes ahead. MISTY rushes back to the sign-up sheet, and after a moment of hesitation, writes VIOLA's name and sprints to catch up.
VIOLA looks her up and down, confused.
VIOLA: What did you forget?
MISTY: Huh? Oh! It doesn't matter. I'll get it later!
VIOLA: You're being... Weird.
MISTY: Aren't I always? I'm fine, you cutie, don't worry.
VIOLA: If you say so...
She watches MISTY, suspiciously.
----Scene 3, by the football field. RICKY's sitting alone, clearly looking for someone.
JUDE: [Offscreen] Looking for your girlfriend, or something?
RICKY jumps, with a yelp.
RICKY: Dude!
JUDE: [Laughing] It's just too easy to scare you. I'm not even sorry.
RICKY: Anyway, you know I don't have a girlfriend. I was looking for you, Jude. 
JUDE: Dork.
He ruffles RICKY's hair and sits down.
RICKY: You missed football practice. Where were you?
JUDE: What's it to you?
RICKY: I'm your best friend.
JUDE: Don't flatter yourself, Ricky.
RICKY: Come on, bro... Well, you're my best friend, anyway.
JUDE gives the tiniest hint of a smile.
JUDE: I know... If you must know, I was smoking.
RICKY: That's so bad for you, man.
JUDE: What are you, my mother?
RICKY: Of course not. But, I'd be happy if I was Denise. She's great.
JUDE: What's so great about her?
He lies on the field.
RICKY: Don't be like that, man. We both know you love her.
JUDE: Alright, alright, shut up.
RICKY looks down at him, frowning in confusion and suspicion.
RICKY: What were you smoking?
JUDE: The less you know, the better, kid.
RICKY: Kid? Man, I'm older than you by months.
JUDE: Still a kid.
RICKY: Doesn't that make you a kid too?
JUDE: Nah.
RICKY: Oh, okay... Wait, how does that work?
JUDE: No one said it worked.
RICKY: What--
BETH: Hi, Ricky!
RICKY stands up, quickly, nearly hitting JUDE in the process.
RICKY: Beth! Hey! How are you?
BETH: I'm wonderful, how are you?
RICKY: I'm good, how are you?
BETH gives him a strange look.
JUDE: Hey, Corky.
BETH: [Only just noticing him] Hey, Jude.
JUDE groans.
BETH: The opportunity was right there, I'm sorry!
RICKY looks between the two, not quite getting the joke.
JUDE: I'll explain later, bro.
RICKY shoots him a quick glare.
RICKY: Anyway, Beth, what brings you to our neck of the... Campus?
BETH laughs, to JUDE's disbelief.
BETH: Uh... Oh, right! 
RICKY: You wanna sit here?
BETH: Thank you, but I shouldn't, I'd ruin my uniform.
She perches on the bleachers.
BETH: Where do I start? So, uh, the thing is, I'm starting this club. A Glee Club.
RICKY: [Already enraptured] Okay... What is that?
BETH: We sing and dance and do competitions.
RICKY: What kind of competitions?
BETH: Competitions where we sing and dance.
JUDE: No shit.
RICKY and BETH glance to him, startled. Yet again, they forgot he was there.
JUDE: I'm just gonna shut up and leave you kids to it.
RICKY: [Distractedly] Thanks...
BETH: I came to ask if you would audition.
RICKY: I'd love to. Really, I would, but I've got a rep.
BETH: [Excitedly] Really?
RICKY: What? I'm talking about my reputation.
BETH: Oh, right... Of course. 
RICKY: What did you think I meant?
BETH: It doesn't matter. You won't even consider it?
RICKY: I wish I could do it. You have no idea how much. But, uh, I've got my rep... Utation.
BETH: What does that matter? I mean, I'm the head cheerleader, and I'm doing it.
RICKY: It's a little different. People don't mind so much when girls sing and dance. But guys?
BETH: I get it. But Ricky, you'd be doing something great. The old Glee Club won trophies and everything! 
RICKY: That does sound kinda cool...
BETH: And some of the football team were in it!
JUDE: You serious?
BETH: Yeah! My sister told me everything. Anyway, I'll leave you to think about it. Please? For me?
She walks away, backwards, silently pleading. The second she's out of sight, RICKY turns to JUDE.
RICKY: We're auditioning.
JUDE: We?
RICKY: Come on, man, we're bros. We do everything together! We always have!
JUDE: Not everything...
RICKY: Okay, not quite. But, you get what I'm saying! Please, please, please?
JUDE: Oh, for god's-- Okay, fine! Damn your puppy eyes, Vincent.
RICKY: Thank you so much! You won't regret it!
He runs off, to sign up.
JUDE: I always do...
Reluctantly, he follows.
----Scene 4, outside the principal's office, QUENTIN stands, awkwardly, waiting to enter.
SCHUESTER: [Muffled] Again? Danny, this is ridiculous! Why can't you just stay out of trouble?
DANNY: It's just so fun.
SCHUESTER: Do you care at all how bad it looks for the principal's son to be behaving like this?
DANNY: Honestly, Dad? Not really.
SCHUESTER: Of course you don't. As long as you're having fun, you don't give a crap what you destroy.
DANNY hesitates.
DANNY: If that's what you think of me.
SCHUESTER: Well, am I wrong?! You tell me, kid, because I'm not sure I know you anymore!
DANNY: Exactly. You don't know me at all, so stop pretending. I'm done here.
SCHUESTER: I'll tell you when we're done, Daniel Schuester!
DANNY: Bye, Dad. Don't wait up, after school.
SCHUESTER: I'll deal with you at home.
DANNY: Fine by me.
He throws the door open and storms out, passing QUENTIN.
DANNY: Careful. He's really mad, for some reason.
QUENTIN: Thanks.
DANNY walks off, and QUENTIN hesitantly knocks on the door.
SCHUESTER: Come in!
QUENTIN enters.
QUENTIN: Mr. Schuester?
SCHUESTER: Oh, Quentin! I've been meaning to talk to you. We've had some complaints about your behaviour...
QUENTIN: From homophobic jocks?
SCHUESTER: Isn't it always? Either way, I have to seem like I've dealt with it.
QUENTIN: In that case, sir, consider me thoroughly dealt with.
SCHUESTER: Fine by me. What brings you here, today?
QUENTIN: Beth Corcoran and I have a plan. But, we need your permission, of course.
SCHUESTER: [Warily] Go on...
QUENTIN: We'd like to restart the Glee Club.
SCHUESTER: Are you serious?
QUENTIN: Well, I know it seems ambitious for two high school kids to start a whole club, and go to competitions, but, we've already got a supervisor, and--
SCHUESTER: No, no, Quentin, I'm completely behind it!
QUENTIN: Really?
SCHUESTER: Really! Who's the supervisor?
QUENTIN: Mr. Larson.
SCHUESTER: You two kids work fast...
QUENTIN: Thank you, sir.
SCHUESTER: Are you wondering why I'm so enthusiastic about this?
QUENTIN: A little bit, sir, I'm gonna be honest with you.
SCHUESTER: You see this picture on the wall?
QUENTIN: Yeah?
SCHUESTER: That's the old New Directions.
QUENTIN: You ran the club?
SCHUESTER: Uh-huh. And back when I was still in school, I was in a Glee Club myself.
QUENTIN: That's amazing...
SCHUESTER: I'm glad you think so. The New Directions were... Brilliant. Do you think you can live up to that?
QUENTIN: We sincerely hope so.
SCHUESTER: You're talented kids. I have faith in you. You won't let it affect your studies?
QUENTIN: Us? Never.
SCHUESTER watches him, unconvinced.
QUENTIN: Truly.
SCHUESTER: Then, I'll allow it.
QUENTIN: Thank you so much, Mr. Schuester! And, can we use the auditorium tomorrow, after school?
SCHUESTER: Of course.
QUENTIN: Perfect.
SCHUESTER: Don't let power go to your heads, okay?
QUENTIN: Got it. We won't let you down, sir.
SCHUESTER: I know, Quentin. Good luck.
QUENTIN: Thank you, sir!
He rushes out, to tell BETH the good news. SCHUESTER shakes his head, with a chuckle, and returns to his work.
----Scene 5, IVAN's classroom. LIAM's eating his lunch, with headphones on, silently bopping, when IVAN enters.
IVAN: Hey, kiddo.
LIAM glances up and takes his headphones off.
LIAM: Sorry, Mr. Pierce, I'll get out of your way.
IVAN: No, don't worry about it. You're always welcome here, Liam, I've told you.
LIAM: If you're sure... I just really fucking hate-- Ah, shit, sorry. Oh, damn it!
IVAN: [Chuckling] That's okay. You wanna try that again?
LIAM: I really hate the cafeteria. It's so damn much.
IVAN: Understandable. And it's filled with damn teenagers.
LIAM laughs in disbelief.
IVAN: I know, I know, I work in a high school.
LIAM: So, I guess I'm one of those 'damn teenagers'?
IVAN: Actually, you're okay.
LIAM: Huh, weird. Must be the autism.
IVAN: Must be. Hey, you know, you don't have to talk to me, kid. You can put the headphones back on.
LIAM: No, I like talking to you. As long as that's okay?
IVAN: Of course. For the record, I like talking to you too. Just don't feel obligated, okay?
LIAM: Okay. Thank you. I really appreciate that.
IVAN: No need to thank me, bud. What you got for lunch, today?
LIAM: Nothing special. Sandwich. A little boring, actually. Feels more like a sad-wich. But, Mom tried her best, and, like, I don't hate it, so I'm still gonna eat it. Did you already have lunch?
IVAN: Yeah. Nothing special either.
LIAM: Mom gave me cookies, too. Do you want one?
IVAN: Really?
LIAM: Yeah, I have three. I'm gonna give Aubri one of them, and I only want one, so I've got one going spare.
IVAN: Hey, who says you're not good at Math?
LIAM: Hilarious. But me, I say that.
IVAN: Regularly. If you're absolutely sure, then a cookie would be great.
LIAM: Alright, catch.
IVAN laughs.
LIAM: I'm kidding, I suck at throwing things.
He puts the cookie on IVAN's desk.
IVAN: Hey, me too.
LIAM: Really?
IVAN: Yeah. If my aim was any good, I'd be a Gym teacher. But it's not, so here I am. Teaching... English.
Before LIAM can reply, VALERIE enters.
VALERIE: Uncle Ivan, I-- Oh, sorry.
IVAN: No worries, kiddo. You can come in. Right, Liam?
LIAM: Of course, but it's your classroom, you decide.
IVAN: Valerie, did you have lunch?
VALERIE: Uh-huh. The lunches here are awful.
LIAM: Tell me about it. Where did you go, before you transferred?
VALERIE: St. Mary's.
LIAM: Catholic school? Well, that outfit makes more sense now, then. Was that your uniform?
VALERIE: Yeah, I don't want people to think I go here.
IVAN: Hey...
LIAM: That's fair. Hey, aren't you in a lot of my classes?
VALERIE: Yeah.
LIAM: And, you run the Celibacy Club? Kinda surprising...
VALERIE: I'm sorry?
LIAM: Oh my God, no, I just mean you haven't been here for that long!
IVAN: [Teasingly] Well, no one else wanted to do it. All the other members left pretty quick, she runs it by default.
VALERIE huffs, offended.
IVAN: [Laughing] Sorry, kiddo. I'm sure it was nothing personal.
VALERIE: Of course it wasn't...
IVAN: So, did you want something?
VALERIE: No, you left your sheet music at ours, and my moms told me to give it to you.
IVAN: Oh, thanks, kiddo.
VALERIE: You're welcome. I should go to Celibacy Club now.
IVAN: Okay, have... Fun? Hey, uh...
VALERIE: Yeah?
IVAN: You know, Beth and Quentin are restarting the Glee Club. It would make your moms happy if you auditioned. 'Cause it's their old club, and they're worried about you. They want you to make friends here.
VALERIE: You say that like I didn't have friends at St. Mary's. I had Imogen.
IVAN: I know. What happened there?
VALERIE: We had a difference of opinion... I have to go.
She exits.
IVAN: What do you think, Liam? Do you believe her?
LIAM: Not at all, but it's not my business. So... A Glee Club?
IVAN: Oh, yeah, I was gonna talk to you about that! You wanna audition? I know you like theatre, and all that.
LIAM: I do! I'd love to! But... I don't know if I can.
IVAN: I get it, kiddo. You wanna try, though?
LIAM: Uh, I dunno. Can I bring Aubri? Can I think about it? When is it? 
IVAN: Hey, slow down. Yeah, you can bring Aubri. And you have until after school tomorrow to think about it, okay?
LIAM: Okay. I gotta go tell Aubri! 
He sprints off, visibly excited. IVAN glances to his bag, still sitting in the corner, and grins. After a pause, LIAM returns for his stuff and rushes off again.
----Scene 6, in a practice room. LOGAN's playing piano.
LOGAN: You know like the back of your hand
Who let me in
You got me into this mess so
You get me out
You know like the back of your hand
Your bell jar
Your collection
Ingenue
You get me into this mess
Fools rushing in, yeah
And they know it
The seeds of the dandelion you know blow away
In good time, I hope, I pray
If I'm not there now physically
I'm always before you
Come what may
And you know it
Fools rushing in
Yeah
Well you know it
Who let them in?
Yeah
Well you know it
Gone with a touch of your hand
Gone with a touch of your hand
Move through the moment
Though it betrays
Transformations
Jackals and flames
If I knew now
What I knew then
Just give me more time
I hope and pray
I mistake all you say
The seeds of the dandelion you blow away...
QUENTIN claps, from the doorway. LOGAN turns to him.
LOGAN: Holy-- Uh, hi.
QUENTIN: Sorry, you're just really good!
LOGAN: Thanks, but I'm not that good.
QUENTIN: Lies and slander, of course you are! Have you heard yourself?
LOGAN: Afraid so... Quentin, right?
QUENTIN: Yeah, how'd you know?
LOGAN: Everyone does.
QUENTIN: Ooh, really? I like that.
LOGAN: I'd hate it.
QUENTIN: What, you don't wanna be famous?
LOGAN: I just wanna survive freshman year.
QUENTIN: Well, what if I could offer you the chance of a lifetime? Win competitions, be popular, get girls if that's what you're into!
LOGAN: It is.
QUENTIN: Fair, girls are cute. So are guys. Hell, everyone.
LOGAN: Quentin, what's your point?
QUENTIN: That point is that I need a date, and fast. But, that's nothing to do with anything. I was gonna ask you to audition for my club. A Glee Club.
LOGAN: No, no, that's not my thing. I'll leave the singing to my brother. Actually...
QUENTIN: Yeah?
LOGAN: I'll do it. When's the audition?
QUENTIN: Great! That was easier than I thought. All the details are right here.
He takes out a notepad, writes everything down and tears out the page, handing it to LOGAN.
LOGAN: Do you just take that everywhere?
QUENTIN: You never know when inspiration's gonna strike. I can't risk not having it. Plus, the design's really pretty.
He shows it to LOGAN.
LOGAN: I guess?
QUENTIN: Okay, gotta go. Thanks for your time!
LOGAN: You're welcome...
QUENTIN exits, leaving LOGAN wondering what the hell he's just got himself into. On his way out, QUENTIN looks into the next room and sees LYRA and SKY, signing and singing along to some music with one earphone each. QUENTIN waves, shyly. LYRA gives him a brief smile in return.
SKY: [Signed] Cute!
LYRA laughs, nodding.
----Scene 7, after cheer rehearsal.
ISABEL: Alright, hit the showers, ladies and Damien!
CHEERIOS: Yes, Coach!
DAMIEN lies across the bleachers and groans.
DAMIEN: Coach Stanton's trying to kill us.
BETH: Dami, you're so dramatic!
OPHELIA: And, that's coming from Corcoran. Hi, Tobias! Did you get my text?
TOBIAS nods, as he walks over and hands OPHELIA a bottle of water.
OPHELIA: Thanks, babe.
BETH: Ophelia, you came to this without water? Do you have a death wish?
OPHELIA: No, I just forgot. Thank goodness I have such a... Boyfriend. Here, hold this.
TOBIAS takes her bag. DAMIEN gives him a look of amused sympathy.
OPHELIA: Why so late to practice, Corcoran?
BETH: I was planning. 
OPHELIA, DAMIEN, TOBIAS: Oh god.
BETH: Why is that such a common response?
OPHELIA: We've been dragged into your plans before.
TOBIAS: Not a fun time. So, what's this plan?
OPHELIA: Don't encourage her!
BETH: I'm glad you asked!
OPHELIA: [Groaning] I'm not.
BETH: [Haughtily] Then you don't have to listen.
DAMIEN: Come on, tell us.
BETH: And why should I, after how you all just treated me?
TOBIAS: B--
BETH: Alright, I'll tell you! I'm restarting the Glee Club.
OPHELIA: Restarting? When did we have a Glee Club? I'm sure you've never mentioned how your sister won competitions... It definitely isn't all you talk about!
BETH: Hey, screw you!
OPHELIA blows a kiss.
OPHELIA: Screw you too. Roped Talley into it?
BETH: Yeah, he's my co-captain!
OPHELIA: Are you quitting the Cheerios? Because, surely you won't have time for us anymore... I mean, you can't possibly be cheer captain and the captain of a Glee Club... Follow your dreams, B.
DAMIEN: And let you be captain?
OPHELIA: Shut up, I'm trying to help her.
DAMIEN: Sure.
OPHELIA: I'm right, aren't I, Tobias?
TOBIAS: [Reluctantly] Yeah... Follow your dreams, Beth.
BETH: It's sweet of you to be so concerned for me and my dreams! But, I'll still have plenty of time, don't worry. I'm not quitting that easily. I'm a Cheerio, through and through.
DAMIEN: Damn right you are. We can't afford to lose you.
They hug, before quickly breaking away.
BETH: We need to shower.
DAMIEN: Yeah... Jesus. Hey, Tobias? Will you take our bags too?
TOBIAS: Sure.
DAMIEN: Nah, I'm just messing with you!
TOBIAS: [Quietly] Oh, thank God.
ISABEL: Corcoran, Russo, Yates! Showers!
DAMIEN: There's no one here called Showers, Coach!
ISABEL gives him a fierce look, though clearly concealing a smile. The CHEERIOS start to walk away.
DAMIEN: What's eating Isabel?
BETH: Dami! If she heard you call her that, she'd eat you alive and spit you back out!
DAMIEN: Ooh, kinky. I'm into it.
OPHELIA: You're into everything. Well, except girls.
DAMIEN: Very true. You better watch out, or I'll steal your man.
TOBIAS: I'm straight...
DAMIEN: You don't dress like it, babe.
OPHELIA: Hey!
DAMIEN: What?
TOBIAS: Ophelia picks my clothes.
DAMIEN: How long do I have until she murders me?
TOBIAS: 5.
DAMIEN: 5 what? Minutes? Hours? Pushups?
TOBIAS: 4.
DAMIEN: Oh, shit.
He runs off, with OPHELIA chasing after him.
OPHELIA: You get back here, Russo!
----Scene 8, at the audition.
BETH: Oh god, I'm nervous.
QUENTIN: You're not the one auditioning.
SHAWN enters, being pushed forward by IVAN and JAMES.
SHAWN: Uh... Hi. I'm here.
He sits, reluctantly. QUENTIN smiles.
QUENTIN: Hi, Mr. Larson.
SHAWN: So, who's first?
BETH glances at her papers and smiles.
BETH: Ricky. Quen, call him in.
QUENTIN: Ricky Vincent!
RICKY takes the stage.
RICKY: Uh... Beth, what do I say?
BETH: [Amused] Introduce yourself, and tell us what you're gonna sing.
RICKY: Hi, I'm Ricky Vincent, and I'm gonna be singing For Forever from Dear Evan Hansen... Beth, was that good?
BETH nods, enthusiastically. 
RICKY: End of May or early June
This picture-perfect afternoon we shared
Drive the winding country road
Grab a scoop at A La Mode
And then we're there.
BETH watches, enthralled.
RICKY: An open field that's framed with trees
We pick a spot and shoot the breeze
Like buddies do
Quoting songs by our favorite bands
Telling jokes no one understands
Except us two
And we talk and take in the view
All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Feels like we could go on for forever this way
Two friends on a perfect day.
Cut to the end of his audition.
QUENTIN: Next!
MAGS struts onto the stage.
MAGS: Hello. My name is Magnolia Berry.
BETH groans, subtly.
MAGS: I will be singing Defying Gravity, from Stephen Schwartz' Wicked.
BETH: [Softly] How predictable.
Cut to towards the end of MAGS' audition.
MAGS: Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down
Bring me down
Aaaah!
BETH: Next!
MISTY skips to centre-stage.
MISTY: Hi! I'm Misty Erickson. I'll be singing She Used to be Mine, from Waitress.
Cut to halfway through her audition.
MISTY: And you're not what I asked for
If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who was reckless, just enough
Who gets hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she's bruised and gets used by a man who can't love
And then she'll get stuck
And be scared of the life that's inside her
Growing stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That's been gone, but used to be mine!
Used to be mine!
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine...
QUENTIN: Damn, girl... Thank you, next! 
Cut to halfway through JUDE's audition.
JUDE: Don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me
I said you're holding back
She said shut up and dance with me
This woman is my destiny
She said oh oh oh
Shut up and dance with me!
Cut to the end.
QUENTIN: Next!
OPHELIA takes the stage.
OPHELIA: Yeah, my name's Ophelia Yates, and I don't know what I'm doing here.
Cut to halfway through.
OPHELIA: I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl
A-'cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won't be on me
No, not on me
'Cause I dug my key into the side (into the side)
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights (both headlights)
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time, he'll think before he cheats
Oh, maybe next time, he'll think before he cheats
Oh, before he cheats
Oh...
BETH and QUENTIN stare, awestruck. 
SHAWN: Uh... Next, please?
OPHELIA walks offstage.
OPHELIA: [Hissed] Do it!
TOBIAS rushes on, still both intimidated and aroused from her song.
TOBIAS: I'm... Tobias Turner. I'm going to sing, apparently...
Cut to near the end.
TOBIAS: You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be
You raise me up to more than I can be.
BETH: Next?
DAMIEN slides on.
DAMIEN: Hey, gorgeous!
BETH grins, rolling her eyes.
DAMIEN: My name's Damien Russo. I'm gonna be singing Elton John's I'm Still Standing.
You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use
And did you think this fool could never win?
Well look at me, I'm coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away
Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Cut to the end.
QUENTIN: Thank you, darling. Next!
SEPTEMBER and BLUE walk to the stage, with BLUE's guitar.
SEPTEMBER: Hey. I'm September Puckerman, this is Blue Brooks, and we're gonna be singing Only Us, from Dear Evan Hansen.
Cut to near the end.
BOTH: So it can be us
It can be us
And only us
And what came before won't count anymore or matter
We can try that
It's not so impossible
Nobody else but the two of us here
'Cause you're saying it's possible
We can just watch the whole world disappear
'Til you're the only one
I still know how to see
It's just you and me
It'll be us, It'll be us
And only us
And what came before won't count anymore
We can try that
You and me
That's all that we need it to be
And the rest of the world falls away
And the rest of the world falls away
The world falls away
The world falls away
And it's only us.
BETH: [Breathlessly] Thank you...
QUENTIN: Next, please!
VALERIE enters.
VALERIE: Hi, my name is Valerie Lopez-Pierce, and I will be singing I Say A Little Prayer.
The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair, now
And wondering what dress to wear, now
I say a little prayer for you--
Cut to the end.
QUENTIN: Next!
LOGAN shuffles on.
LOGAN: Hi... My name's Logan Abrams.
Cut to near the end.
LOGAN: Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
'Til I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
'Til I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms!
QUENTIN claps, enthusiastically.
BETH: Next, please!
Silence. BETH checks her notes.
BETH: Viola James?
MISTY pushes a pleading VIOLA onstage. Cut to the middle of the audition.
VIOLA: [Hesitantly] Oh, do me a favor
Can your heart rate rise a little?
Do me a favor
Can your heart rate rise a little?
Oh do me a favor
Can your heart rate rise a little?
Do me a favor
Oh, would you be
So kind
As to fall in love with me, you see
I'm trying
I know you know that I like you
But that's not enough
So if you will
Please fall in love
I think it's only fair
There's gotta be some butterflies somewhere (wanna share)
'Cause I like you
But that's not enough
So if you will
Please fall in love
Oh I like you
But that's not enough
So if you will
Please fall in love with me.
[Quickly] Thank you, bye.
She sprints off, MISTY running after her.
BETH: Next?
Again, silence.
BETH: Next, please? [Pauses] Well, then I guess we'll--
LIAM rushes in, AUBRI close behind. IVAN's face breaks into a smile.
LIAM: Fuck, sorry, am I late? I'm so sorry.
BETH: That's okay! Are you here to audition?
AUBRI: He is. I'm emotional support. I don't sing.
LIAM climbs up to the stage.
LIAM: I'm Liam Cook, and I will be singing What Do I Need With Love, from Thoroughly Modern Millie.
BETH: Whenever you're ready.
LIAM takes a long drink of water.
LIAM: Sorry. Ran all the way across campus.
He stares out into the distance, subtly panicking. MAGS laughs, offscreen.
IVAN: Quiet backstage!
QUENTIN: You okay?
LIAM: Yeah, sorry, I'm good.
[Nervously] Oh, the places I would like to show you
Although I hardly know you
I've a funny feeling we make a perfect pair
Famous sites I want to see you seeing
Then nights of you and me-ing
Me. You. We -
Wait a minute! Just a minute! No, no, no, no!
The music starts to overtake him, his confidence growing.
I'm a Joe with just one aim
Ev'ry night to date a diff'rent dame
Call each one of 'em the same pet name
"Hey, baby!"
In a row, I have my ducks
Loads of gals to give me loads of yucks
Leave the cooing to the other clucks
I don't mean maybe
Got it good. What do I need with love?
Always practice what I preach
Keep temptation out of easy reach
Stick to dolls who wash their hair in bleach
I'm happy
Come and go the way I choose
Never gonna sing the tied-down blues
Other guys would kill to fill my shoes
No wing-clipped sappy
Got it… 
Always practice what I preach
Keep temptation out of easy reach
Stick to dolls who wash their hair in bleach
I'm happy
Come and go the way I choose
Never gonna sing the tied-down blues
Other guys would kill to fill my shoes
No wing-clipped sappy
Got it good. What do I need with love?
That was a near miss, talk about a close shave
Flirted with disaster
There must be someone up there watching over me
Talk about a four-leaf-clover-me
Peter Rabbit's missing footsie
Means I roll without a tootsie
Got it good. What do I need with love?
I got it good. What do I need with love?
Skip the vows and all that rot
Tell the minister that "I do" not
Bright and breezy is the -
Birds and bees-y is the -
Free and easy is the life I got
Without her.
Although I hardly know you
What do I need with love?
I got it good
Got it good
But now I got it bad!
AUBRI claps from the back of the auditorium. LIAM grins and rushes to her.
IVAN: [Whispered] You did great, kid. 
LIAM: Thank you, sir.
IVAN sees a figure in the doorway. DANNY. But, the second DANNY realises, he leaves, quickly.
----Scene 9, the next day, at the first rehearsal.
QUENTIN: So! Exciting enough for you?
BETH: Yeah... I think so.
She watches OPHELIA argue with MAGS in the background, as BLUE plays guitar and JUDE lies across three chairs, clearly high again. LIAM sighs and puts his headphones on.
BETH: Exciting's one word for it.
QUENTIN laughs.
BETH: One thing's for sure, though.
QUENTIN: What's that, babe?
BETH: It's gonna take a lot of work, to turn them into a Glee Club, in perfect sync and harmony.
QUENTIN looks around.
QUENTIN: Absolutely. Think we can do it?
BETH: Of course we can. This is us. We can do anything.
QUENTIN: True, but this is... A big task.
BETH: Yep. But, hey, we have Mr. Larson.
She looks at SHAWN, who's staring at the chaos like a deer in the headlights.
BETH: Well, kinda.
QUENTIN: I have faith in us.
BETH: Yeah, me too. Alright, Glee Club!
The chaos continues.
IVAN: Shut up, guys.
Immediate silence. BETH watches IVAN, amazed.
IVAN: Floor's yours, Beth.
BETH: Thanks! Alright, guys, we should start rehearsing!
OPHELIA: Must we?
MAGS: This is so far beneath me, why am I here?
OPHELIA: The only thing beneath you is the floor.
The two start to argue again.
BETH: For crying out loud!
MISTY: Guys, please! Show Beth some respect.
OPHELIA/MAGS: Respect is earned. Oh, jinx.
BETH: [Groaning] I hate you both. Jude, sit like a normal person.
JUDE: Never seen one.
RICKY: Beth's right, we should start rehearsing, right?
The club agree, immediately.
RICKY: So, Beth, what are we doing?
BETH stares at him in admiration, until QUENTIN takes over her explanation. BETH turns to the club, who are now paying attention. She surveys her new project with pride.
Roll credits.
Category:Episodes
Category:Scripts
Category:Season 1 Episodes