How to Win SOK

How to Win SOK is CartoonGuy's Spin-Off Kings' Spin-Off Because Yes' ninth episode. It aired on February 1, 2021, was written by CartoonGuy277, and its theme was nothing, just the finale.
== Transcript ==
[The episode starts with Purple sitting on a chair]
Purple: I wonder who will be crowned the spin-off king and who won’t submit! [his phone starts ringing, and answers it] CartoonGuy? Why are you calling?
CartoonGuy (phone): Hello Purps, I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse.
Purple: Which is?
CartoonGuy (phone): Make me win SOK, even if my episode is not the best.
Purple: Yeah, no.
CartoonGuy (phone): Wrong answer.
Purple: CartoonGuy, we live in different continents, and you don’t even know my address. Therefore, it would be impossible for you to put a horse’s head in my bed.
CartoonGuy (phone): Um, I…
Purple: CartoonGuy, being Italian does not mean you are good at being part of the mafia. I advise you to start writing, bambino!
[Cut to CartoonGuy, who hangs up the phone]
CartoonGuy: Cazzo…...è ora del piano B. (Fuck……it’s time for plan B.)
[CartoonGuy is cooking pasta, when all of a sudden he puts his Foogle documents in it, resulting in an explosion which launches CartoonGuy against the wall]
CartoonGuy: Dai, perfavore! (Come on, please!)
[The explosion ends, and instead of the cauldron, some characters appear: SpongeBill, Golfsbre, Renaud, Hoopla, Bubble Bass, Old Man Jenkins, and Gaylord]
CartoonGuy: I knew this would work! All of the main characters from my SOK episodes together, united to make me win!
[The SOK characters say silent for 5 seconds]
Old Man Jenkins: Eh, what did he say?
Golfsbre: I do not know.
SpongeBill: Hey, I’m not underwater! How am I breathing?! What’s going on?!
CartoonGuy: I see I have some explaining to do.
Renaud: Oooh, you look young!
CartoonGuy: *gulp* Here is what is happening.
French Narrator: Several minutes later…
[The SOK characters are all visibly having an existential crisis, except for Bubble Bass]
Bubble Bass: Eh, I already knew most of this stuff. To be fair, my IQ hasn’t been rivalled by anyone that I know of-
CartoonGuy: Zoltan.
Bubble Bass: Wha-[visibly has an existential crisis]
Gaylord: I IMPREGNATED A CACTUS?! AND THAT’S HOW BABIES ARE MADE?!
SpongeBill: YOU’RE MY FATHER’S BIGGEST ENEMY….AS A KID?!
Renaud: Kid, you say? IT’S TIME FOR ROUND TWO OF BEASTIALITY!
Hoopla: HOOPLA! If I go underwater, I will die. This is deeply shocking.
Golfsbre: Well then, since I was the main character in two different episodes, I’d say I am officially the best character.
Old Man Jenkins: THE BEST?! RESPECT YOUR ELDERS! [he repeatedly hits Golfsbre with his cane]
Golfsbre: AAAAARGH! NOW I NEED TO TAKE MYSELF TO A HOSPITAL BECAUSE OF THIS MANIAC!
CartoonGuy: Enough with the talking, I have a job for you all.
Renaud: Oooh, what kind?
CartoonGuy: Purps rejected my offer, so plan B is to send you to kill the cactus, so if you’re caught, nothing will happen to me. And if something does, you are all dead. Unfortunately, we do not have time to get a flight to the UK, and also, travel ban. So, you will all be going there in my old submarine. Just a warning, it has not been used in a long time, so you will have to do, let’s call them tasks, in order to keep it well.
Bubble Bass: And how will we find the cactus?
CartoonGuy: Thanks to Gaylord, of course! He’s eaten cacti and fucked them, I’m sure he can sense where cacti are!
Gaylord: I…..I can….
CartoonGuy: Well, we don’t have much time, it’s time for you to go on a little trip.
[Cut to the SOK characters in a submarine, all standing around a table with a button in it]
SpongeBill: Alright guys, we have to do this apparently. I say we all go to different parts of this place to do our tasks! And if we need a meeting, one can just come here and press the button!
Golfsbre: Yes, I do think that would be the best thing to do. TIME TO WORK!
[The SOK characters split up in different parts of the submarine]
[Cut to Bubble Bass finding a fridge and opening it]
Bubble Bass: Oh, let’s see…..pizza, pasta…..this is going to be good. [he eats some pizzas in one bite, then does the same with pasta, and then the same with various foods. He then picks up a strawberry, and is about to eat it, but gets shot repeatedly with an AK-47 assault rifle by Golfsbre]
Golfsbre: Bitch. [eats the strawberries at maximum speed] MORE! [he runs out of the room, leaving his weapon on the ground]
SpongeBill: [is whistling and goes into the room and notices Bubble Bass] AAAAARGH! [he goes to the table and presses the button, leading to everyone going where he is]
Renaud: What happened?! Me and Gaylord have some special tasks to do!
SpongeBill: Pals, Bubble Bass is dead!
Golfsbre: Oh dear.
SpongeBill: He was next to an open fridge and one of those modern guns! I think he was shot!
Gaylord: But by who? Me and Renaud where together, so it’s not him…
Golfsbre: IT WASN’T ME! I AM A GOOD MAN! BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU! WITHOUT SCHIZOPHRENIA!
Old Man Jenkins: YOU’RE NOT BETTER THAN ME! [hits Golfsbre repeatedly with his cane]
Hoopla: HOOPLA! I was pooping, so it’s not me! Although I do love guns, and I would have shot Bubble Bass if I could. Yeah I know that’s kind of sus but-
[Cut to Hoopla getting kicked out of the submarine and drowning]
[Cut to inside of the submarine again, to SpongeBill standing next to a dead Bubble Bass, saddened]
SpongeBill: I can’t believe this…..what if it wasn’t Hoopla? We just murdered someone…..I sure hope nothing like that happens-[gets shot repeatedly with an AK-47 assault rifle by Renaud]
Renaud: Maybe now you won’t find any more….things. [drops the weapon and goes to another room, where Gaylord is]
[Cut to Golfsbre finding a broken radio, with parts of “Where’s My Sex?” playing]
Golfsbre: AAAARGH! MUSIC! SEX! ENEMY OF THE-[notices a flamethrower] THANK GOD FOR THE MAFIA! [grabs the flamethrower and burns the radio] TASK COMPLETED! [the fire spreads, so Golfsbre runs away]
Old Man Jenkins: [enters the room] Oooh, a nice hot shower! [jumps in the fire]
Golfsbre: [goes to where Renaud and Gaylord are]
Renaud: Ugh….Golfsbre, we’re about to do a very special little ta-
Golfsbre: WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! FIRE IS SPREADING!
Renaud: YOU STARTED A FIRE?! GAYLORD, QUICK, PULL DOWN YOUR PA-
[An alarm is heard all over the submarine]
Gaylord: A MEETING! [they all run to the meeting, where Old Man Jenkins is]
Old Man Jenkins: You youngins don’t stay quiet while I take a nice hot fire shower! RESPECT YOUR ELDERS! [he hits all of them with his cane]
Renaud: KEEP HIS HANDS OFF GAYLORD! I HAVE TO FUCK HIM BEFORE WE ALL BURN TO DEATH!
Gaylord: WHAT?!
Old Man Jenkins and Golfsbre: NO SWEARING!
Renaud: [slaps Old Man Jenkins and Golfsbre, but Old Man Jenkins knocks him out with his cane and Golfsbre accidentally puts more things on fire]
Golfsbre: Oh dear. AAAARGH!
Gaylord: Wait a minute, I sense a cactus! I think we are under her!
Golfsbre: LET’S RUN!
Old Man Jenkins: You can run, I’ll be living the good life here!
[Cut to Golfsbre and Gaylord coming out from a hole on the ground into a house]
Golfsbre: Alright, I have the flamethrower ready, when we see her, we attack-[he gets attacked by pricks, and falls dead on the floor]
Gaylord: AAARGH! [he turns around, and sees Cactus standing still, and looking at him directly in the eyes]
Cactus: You don’t mess with the First Lady of Cactustan and get away with it!
[An epic fight scene plays where Gaylord dodges all the pricks Cactus shoots at him, until one hits him in the private parts]
Gaylord: AAAARGH! [he falls on the floor] No….I…..
Cactus: Maybe winning this will make Cactustan more popu-[gets shot in the back by CartoonGuy] I…..I…..
Gaylord: What the-
CartoonGuy: Yes, it is I. I knew you guys were no match for Cactus’ pricks, so I came here by another submarine. My plan all along was to distract Cactus, only to shoot her when she least expected it!
Cactus: You son of a bitch! You won’t get away with this!
CartoonGuy: Oh yeah? And tell me, who’s going to find out I did this, uh? Is it-[gets shot in the back by Boris] I…..
Cactus: I think Luis is going to be crowned.
CartoonGuy: You….
Boris: Ha!
[After 5 seconds of silence, the submarine suddenly emerges from the ground, Old Man Jenkins comes out of it, and pushes CartoonGuy and Cactus in it. He closes the doors, and the submarine proceeds to turn into a helicopter and fly away.
Old Man Jenkins: HEHEHE! FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
CartoonGuy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Cactus: Old Man Jenkins, I-
Old Man Jenkins: Do you mean…..
[Old Man Jenkins takes off his costume, revealing to be Dan]
Dan: Old Dan Jenkins?
CartoonGuy and Cactus: DAN?! 
Dan: Have you ever wondered why no one can leave SBFW? Well, we see EVERYTHING.
[Dan flies the helicopter for a few seconds, and then throws CartoonGuy and Cactus out of it and into a pile of cow manure, with Purple in front of the pile]
CartoonGuy: This is not nice.
Purple: Hello, happy contestants!
Cactus: Prick.
Purple: Now, for an eventful finale, the winner of the show will be…...WHOEVER FINDS THE CROWN HIDDEN IN THIS PILE OF SHIT!
CartoonGuy and Cactus: WHAT?!
Purple: Well folks, we have ran out of time! Stay tuned for next season! Bye!
CartoonGuy and Cactus: o
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Transcripts
Category:2021
Category:2021 Episodes
Category:2021 Transcripts
Category:CartoonGuy277
Category:CartoonGuy's Spin-Off Kings' Spin-Off Because Yes
Category:CartoonGuy's Spin-Off Kings' Spin-Off Because Yes episodes
Category:2020s
Category:Episodes written by CartoonGuy277