Transcript:Horrid Henry Reads a Book

Miss Battle-Axe: Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah, school, blah blah blah, everyone, blah blah blah blah, prize!
Horrid Henry: Prize? What prize?
Miss Battle-Axe: Henry! Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about?
Horrid Henry: Er... no!
Miss Battle-Axe: Do you ever have any idea of what I'm talking about?
Horrid Henry: Er... no!
Miss Battle-Axe: Who can tell me what I'm talking about?
Moody Margaret: Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Miss Battle-Axe: Margaret!
Moody Margaret: Please, Miss! You're talking about a competition, Miss!
Horrid Henry: A competition?
Miss Battle-Axe: That's right, Henry, a competition! A competition that the whole school will be taking part in! All you have to do is read a book!
Horrid Henry: Read? A book? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(Title card appears)
Miss Battle-Axe: Whoever reads the most books will win a very special prize!
Moody Margaret: Oh, please, Miss, I'm going to read 15 books, Miss!
Sour Susan: Yeah, 15.
Brainy Brian: I'm going to read 16!
Rude Ralph: 17!
Moody Margaret: 22!
Horrid Henry: 23!
(Whole class laughs)
Miss Battle-Axe: Well, I'm glad to see you all enthusiastic, and I shall expect a book report for everyone of the books you read.
Horrid Henry: Eh?
Miss Battle-Axe: (claps) Class dismissed!
Moody Margaret: You've never read a book in your whole life!
Sour Susan: Yeah, your whole life.
Horrid Henry: Have to! And I'm going to win this competition, just you wait and see!
(Scene shows Henry at home)
Horrid Henry: Why can't they have fun competitions like 'Who can burp the loudest?' or 'Who knows the rudest words?'. I win all of those!
Perfect Peter: Oh, look at all the books I got from the library!
Horrid Henry: Huh, forget it, worm! I'm going to win the prize!
Perfect Peter: You, read a book?
Horrid Henry: Yeah! Look at what I read already!
Perfect Peter: Comics don't count, Henry.
Horrid Henry: Yes, they do!
Mum: No, they don't. You're going to have to read a proper book, Henry.
Horrid Henry: (growls, then enters his room to find a book) A book, a book, I need a book! Wait a minute, I haven't got any books. (comes into Peter's room and sees a book Peter was reading) What are you reading, worm?
Perfect Peter: The Happy Nappy!
Horrid Henry: (reads) I'm unhappy pappy said the snappy nappy.
Perfect Peter: That's my book!
Horrid Henry: But I want to read it! Give it to me!
Perfect Peter: Mum!
Horrid Henry: Give me that book!
Perfect Peter: No! Mum!
Horrid Henry: No! Give it back!
Mum: (comes into Peter's room) Stop it! Stop it at once! (Henry and Peter fall) What are you doing?
Perfect Peter: Henry was taking my book!
Horrid Henry: Well, he's got lots of them!
Mum: You were fighting over a book? I don't believe it!
Horrid Henry: Why haven't I got any books, anyway?
Mum: You really don't remember, Henry?
(flashback appears with Henry and some books)
Horrid Henry: But I need to read a book for school! It's just not fair! (goes to his room) I need books, fast! I suppose I could borrow a few. (goes to Margaret's treehouse) This will do. And this one. And this. She'll never win if she reads books this big! (laughs) Girls Are Great. Girls Are Best. Girls Forever! Girls Beat The Boys! Yuck!
Moody Margaret: What are you doing? Give me back my books, now!
Sour Susan: Yeah, now.
Horrid Henry: Uh oh! (runs away)
Moody Margaret: Get him!
Horrid Henry: Look! Over there!
Sour Susan: Where?
Horrid Henry: There!
Moody Margaret: Oh!
Horrid Henry: Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah! (trips over an apple) Woah!
Moody Margaret: Ha! Gotcha! Nice try, Henry!
Horrid Henry: I'm still going to win!
Moody Margaret: Oh yeah! Humans knew, bookworm!
Horrid Henry: Oh, I'm never going to get a book!
Mum: Henry! Henry!
Horrid Henry: (comes into the kitchen and sees a book. He points at it) Is that for me?
Mum: Yes. I used to read it when I was little.
Horrid Henry: Oh, it's really heavy.
Mum: It's a book of fairy stories.
Horrid Henry: Fairy stories? Eugh! They're for babies!
Mum: Do you want the book or not?
Horrid Henry: Oh, alright. I'll take it.
(Henry is in his bedroom reading the boring book)
Horrid Henry: Once upon a time, in a land far, far, away, (yawns) there lived a little girl. Her name was Snow White. Snow White, Snow White. (Henry falls asleep and dreams about Snow White) What's going on? Where am I?
Perfect Peter: Hello. I am Snow White.
Horrid Henry: No, you're not! You're Perfect Peter, my wormy little brother! And you look really silly!
Perfect Peter: I am Snow White and I am here to help you read a book.
Horrid Henry: No, you're not!
Moody Margaret: (laughs) What have we here?
Horrid Henry: Moody Margaret?
Moody Margaret: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, which book thief does not read at all?
Horrid Henry: Woah!
Sour Susan: Book thief, book thief, take a look! Book thief, book thief, can't read a book!
Miss Battle-Axe: Horrid Henry is his name! He should hang his head, in shame!
(all together) Henry can't read a book, Henry can't read a book!
Horrid Henry: No, no! Help!
Perfect Peter: Henry, Henry! Wake up, Henry! Look at all the book reports I've written! (Henry screams) Mum said I could borrow this. Competition ends tomorrow, Henry.
Horrid Henry: (sighs) How am I ever going to get enough book reports to win?
Perfect Peter: Mum! I've finished another book report!
Horrid Henry: That's how? (While Peter is asleep, he goes in and takes a picture of Peter's book reports. The picture appears from the camera) Easy peasy! (copies Peter's book reports while he reads) And the happy nappy clapped happily for the very last time. Yuck! I can't believe the wormy worm likes stuff like that. What a happy nappy baby. Five, six, seven book reports! That's not enough to win. I need more book reports now! Huh, I wish that Happy Nappy had been a bit more adventures. EUREKA! THAT'S IT! Miss Battle-Axe can't read all the books in the world! She won't read the Happy Nappy Gets Snappy In Germany, Happy Nappies In Paris, or Happy Nappies In New York, Happy Nappies in Japan, Australia, Canada!
(At school, Miss Oddbod announces the winner of the competition)
Miss Oddbod: I am very pleased to announce that the winner of the schools reading competition is...
Horrid Henry: 27 book reports, that's got to be a winner!
Miss Oddbod: Margaret! With 28 book reports!
Horrid Henry: Huh?
Moody Margaret: Yes!
Horrid Henry: Margaret? No! Oh, why didn't the Happy Nappy Go To The Moon?
Miss Oddbod: Congratulations, Margaret! (Miss Battle-Axe whispers in her ear) Oh, it appears there has been a mistake. Margaret, you put 'Girls Are Great' down twice.
Moody Margaret: No, I didn't!
Miss Battle-Axe: Yes, you did!
Miss Oddbod: It appears, therefore, there is a tie with 27 book reviews, Margaret and, erm... Henry!
Horrid Henry: Yes! Winner! Winner! (laughs)
Miss Oddbod: It seems Henry, that you are a great fan of The Happy Nappy Books. (everyone laughs) I'm not familiar with all these titles myself, but no matter, you'll both share the prize, which is... a whole week working in the school library!
Horrid Henry: More books? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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