Episode 132 - A Short Diversion

== Intro ==
Episode description:Get it???? Short???
Opening Quote:"New phone, who dis?"—Lauren.
Player introduction:Sean, "Hello and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions podcast. I'm Sean your dungeon master and with me tonight we have: Kyle, who plays ..?"
Kyle, " 'All the small things-' now don't fuck this up and make me do it a different way. I'm playing Reginald. But I did the quote already."
Sean, "Ben who plays ..?"
Ben, "Lord Horatio Q. Barnswoggle the Third. At your service."
Kyle, "We're killing him first."
Sean, "Did Matt just die?"
Kyle, "I think we actually killed Matt in the process."
Sean, "Matt, who do you play?"
Matt, "Breezy Focheezy!"
Sean, "Focheezy? You mean Breezy?"
Matt, "No! Breezy Focheesy!"
Sean, "Okay, come on now. That's a bit much."
Matt, "Okay fine! Breezy! I like it better though."
Sean, "Okay. Stephee who plays ..?"
Stephanie, [indiscernible] (Dagon Brightshield.)
Sean, "Yay I'm so happy! And Lauren who plays ..?"
Lauren, "They call me Aria Kaldwell, the master rogue."
== Episode Summary ==
After the party falls asleep in a dungeon in episode 131, Lux experiences another vision in a starlit void, confering with the disembodied voice of Moradin. When Lux asks for information about the Oculous and the Nine Hells, Moradin chooses to make the whole party experience the making of Torog through the eyes of a gang of lawful evil dwarves that helped this happening.
The barbarian Mountain Dwarf Reginald finds himself mining gold in the Dwarven city which houses the Flame of Hope. Since the discovery of the Flame, the Dwarves have hewn a magnificent city into the underground to house it, which has grown into a sprawling metropolis with masses of Dwarves relocating to the site. However, the other races in the realm have taken umbridge to the Dwarves reserving the Flame, making them suffer hostilities as a result.
Reginald is part of a gang of cultists who reject Moradin and thus the laws of Dwarven society and its leadership. Instead, they worship the Nine Hells. The only Dwarf whom ever made it into the Nine Hells, Abaloor Groot, has promised Reginald's gang to channel part of the hellish powers to them if they worship him and steal some of the gold from the city of the Flame and bring it to the Nine Hells. The gang is supposed to bring their loot to the city of Narfolk, where Abaloor promised to open them a portal.
The mine where Reginald works supplies the gold for a magical golden key, into which a recently discovered gem is to be fastened, thus forming the Oculous, in order to lock away the Flame of Hope. Reginald attempts to sneak the last of the gold away to the gang's hideout in the Smoking Dragon tavern when he is caught by the guard. As he is lead through the city to be jailed, the rest of the gang jumps the guard and slays them, while Barnswoggle's invisible familiar Ziggs secures the gold.
On the way to the hideout, the gang runs into Travers the stablekeep, a very annoying human who is sweet on Aria and keeps invading her personal space. At the Smoking Dragon, cult ally Shakey Smakeroo ensures all the stolen gold is refined by way of alchemy and stored in an urn of glass.
The gang sets out for Narfolk immediately after, again meeting Travers when they obtain horses, and bullying him, which rouses his supsicions. Their plan is to travel above ground, but before they can reach the surface, they are stopped at a gatehouse where the guard demands a trading manifest. Breezy answers this by goring the guardsmen, leaving the group with a locked gatehouse and an alarm in the distance. Reginald then forces the doors open with the help of a mysterious human ally on the outside.
The mysterious human promptly demands the urn from the gang, which he intends to take by force once Reginald refuses this. Barnswoggle then banishes the stranger to an empty demi-plane, and the gang makes an escape into the woods, turning westward towards Narfolk. Behind them the dwarven guard breaks through the gatehouse, pursuing the thieves. Ziggs spies Travers is among them.
During their flight through the woods, the gang comes across another stable at the edge of a small town, but the stablekeep refuses to engage them on account of them being Dwarves. Aria murders him in response, and the gang makes away with fresh horses. Eventually, the need to rest arises, but a bloody vision of Abaloor appears, magically refreshing their spirits and demanding they move on instead.
The gang thus finally reaches Narfolk at the foot of the Ziragzar Spires. The city is expected to be largely abandoned due to the discovery of the Flame of Hope, but instead is found with the remaining inhabitants recently slain, lying dead in the streets. The only survivors are maniacally engaged in covering every surface with bloody runes. The bizarre spectacle gets worse as the gang approaches the desecrated temple to Moradin in the city center. Inside, they find the gateway to the Nine Hells as promised. Just as they are about to enter, Travers shows himself behind the gang, confessing his love for Aria obsessively. When she rejects him, he tries forcing her to stay with him, but she defends herself and kills him. The gang then enters the portal.
Afterward, Moradin intervenes and revivifies Travers.
== Memorable Quotes ==
Kyle, "The Nine Hells is all sorts of dicks."
Category:Episodes
Category:Season 3