Pfff... Welp

"Pfff... Welp" is a Season 2 episode of Life in Bikini Bottom, and the 29th overall. This episode serves as the Season 2 Finale, as well as the beginning of the Bikini Bottom fascist government story arc.
==Characters==
*SpongeCock SquarePants
*Fatprick Star
*Shitward Testicles
*Eugene F. Kraps
*Fricky SquarePants
*XXXTentacion
*Sully the Squid
*Assy Cheeks
*Gory the Snail
*Chris the General
*US Air Force
*Sheldon D. Bastard
==Synopsis==
In the Season 2 finale, the United States Air Force plots revenge on Bikini Bottom for raiding Area 51 and taking XXXTentacion, ensuing a war between the two forces that exposes the incompetence of Bikini Bottom as a government.
==Plot==
It was a huge day for America and the rest of the world, including Bikini Bottom - the 2021 inauguration of Bernie Sanders. SpongeCock, Fatprick, Shitward, Assy, and virtually every character except for Kraps was there. “Hell yeah, mothafucker! Feel the BERN,” SpongeCock shouted out as Bernie’s limo had driven by. Fatprick started to climb up one of the buildings, making his way to the top while out of breath. “FOR ALL OF THE ICE CREAM CAKE!” he yelled, while jumping down from the building. SpongeCock looked over and became concerned, quickly. “Fatprick! Nooo!,” he yelled, but then Shitward came over to relieve his stress. “Bruh, with his fat ass, he’s just gonna bounce back up all over the place. Just don’t mention any toilets-“ “OOHH, SHITWARD! That’s a fantastic idea!” Fatprick then proceeded to take his pants off that were full of shit and started to jack off while falling down. The Bernie Bros started to scatter all over the place in an attempt to avoid being crushed by Fatprick, but it was useless. He had landed and started to roll back over to SpongeCock. “Well, that was fun!” Fatprick announced, as he reached for his container of ice cream cake. “My leg!” several of the Bernie Bros exclaimed, until they were cut off by Bernie himself.
“Don’t worry, my wonderful people. You will all be covered under Medicare for All,” he announced, as the Bernie Bros started to stand back up and cheer. “In fact, I think you all need a nice dose of marijuana.” This sparked SpongeCock’s attention, as he sprinted onto the stage, pumping his arms up and down. “My god,” Bernie said. “That is the smallest bulge I’ve ever seen. Just as small as every billionaire’s heart.” Several Bernie Bros started to point and laugh. “Hah! He came his pants after hearing the news.” At that moment, Travis walked over, correcting his fellow Bernie Bros. “Look, I blasted a fat load, too,” he said. “Yeah, so did I,” Kelpy G adds on. “Oh yeah, I guess we all- AWHAHWE” the Bernie Bro says as he orgasms mid-sentence. “We love you Bernie!” all of the crowd proclaims as they begin clapping again. “Yeah,” SpongeCock adds on, hesitating after nearly being mauled. “We’re all hard for Bernard. Not for that rapist Biden,” he said.
However, it was at that moment, something floated in the sky over the white house. Every character looked up in shock, except for SpongeCock, who continued laughing off his near sabotage. “SpongeCock, this isn’t funny! The only funny thing here is the fact that you haven’t had sex legally,” Assy says. At that moment, a multitude of jets start flying towards the terrain, with many of the crowd members scattering. “Oh boy, that Tyce+Travis: Naughty Boys In Bed DVD was amazing,” Donald Trump says as he walks outside in a loose robe. “Say, Bernie, don’t you think you can allow Melania and I to borrow the bedroom for a few more days?” He asks, but Bernie cuts him off. “Donald, there is no time for your deplorable remarks. And the liberal media says MY supporters are bad,” he complains. “Look up! We’re about to get destroyed.” Trump looks up and drops his robe, only showing him in his boxers. “Holy shit! It’s a bunch of terrorists! I told you muslims were bad. All of them! They need to be deported,” he stated. The pilot of the jet put the plane into hyperspeed, leading it to almost crash into the White House. Before it hits, however, all of the Bikini Bottomites start screaming in a monotone voice, as they start ripping themselves apart. Before the missile hits them and before the jet hits the White House, it cuts to SpongeCock getting up and screaming in his bed. 
SpongeCock lays there as he is fazed by what he just witnessed. “Huh? What? What the hell kind of solo session did I have last night?” He pulls out his phone and sees a screen on PornWhore. “Hmm…” he looks at the video which is titled “In 180 Seconds You Will Be Voting For Bernie Sanders.” “Oh…” SpongeCock replies. He then scrolls further down to see the lesbian BDSM video that he was switching back to see. “Welp, time to finish what I started!” He lights up a joint, takes a puff, and then slips his hand under his sheets. He starts going at it until Sully and X slam his door open, causing SpongeCock to stuff himself under the cover while yelling “YOU!”
Our whole universe was in a G and PG state
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago was inappropriate, wait
Fatprick shit a stool, Shitward began to drool
They invented crap that rules
We built a great, great wall (we started cursing)
Shit, titties bursting, unraveling the coercing
This is Life in Bikini Bottom! PG-13!
“Horny simp alert! Horny simp alert!” X, repeats over and over, as SpongeCock replies with a “Shut up” for everytime he says it. “SpongeCock, what the slithery shit was that? Did you have another wet dream thinking about Bernie being president? He dropped out, you know.” “Well, I don’t know Sully,” SpongeCock says, “I fell asleep watching PornWhore and now can’t figure out why I’m waking up from a nightmare.” “Well, if you forgot, then it’s obviously not that big of a deal,” Sully responds. “But I mean, if you really wanted to jack off that bad, I could’ve just slid you one of the thots X and I met yesterday. “Ayy, yuh,” X responds. “NorthStar got them FINE asses.” SpongeCock smirks. “Man, I really could’ve used one of them.” Sully starts oozing slime from his suction while visualizing them in his head. “Man, I done stole so much money from Area 51 when I was locked up,” X said. “We need to all hit the town together. You know, ball out.” Sully oozes even more slime as he starts to sigh in relief. “Ya know, Sully, you should probably get that checked out,” SpongeCock says as he cringed. “What even triggered it?” 
“Oh, whenever I think of Rocox, I instantly cream my suction cups. That game is hot.” “Ehh… anyway, sure X,” SpongeCock breaks the topic off. “I’d love to do that. Just the three of us, bullshitting around.” At that moment, Fatprick walked in. “Speaking of bullshitting, man, I just blasted a missile into the porta potty by the Cum Bucket. Now, Sully, I believe you owe me a handjob.” Gory then also slithers in, while choking on a dildo that he spits out after chewing on the end. “Gory, what did I tell you about chewing on those? Your vet bills are through the roof.” Fricky ALSO walks in wearing a Virginity Rocks hoodie, sounding half-asleep. “Dad!” he complained, “Fatprick stole my juul again!” “I needed it!” Fatprick said. “Sully wouldn’t pleasure me so I had to use that!” Fricky facepalms. “That’s not how you use a ju-“ “WILL YOU ALL SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY?!” X, SpongeCock, and Sully interrupt everyone. “All three of you should make like the closet, out!” SpongeCock says. “We’re having a super secret talk,” X informs them. “Fatprick, I am NOT your handjob machine,” Sully says. Gory, Fatprick, and Fricky all put their head down as they walk out. “Alright, enough talk about circumcision,” X continues, “let’s get our mood right in the moonlight.” Sully and SpongeCock agree as it cuts to the next scene.
A montage plays of SpongeCock, Sully, and X doing fun and sexy things. They start by playing Grand Theft Weed V while high, and they all look extremely stoned. Then, they start sharing memories of their first girlfriends. While X and Sully are talking, SpongeCock looks disgusted the entire time. The trio then visits the local strip club where they all get boners and throw cash at the strippers. "You know what we should call ourselves?" SpongeCock asks. "The Boner Buddies!" Sully and X approve of this epic nickname. The montage continues with the trio fapping to pictures of Bernie Sanders kissing Joe Biden, playing high stakes poker, and ranting about stupid shit on Titter. 
"That was insanely fun," Sully says. X and SpongeCock nod in agreement. "We should definitely do this shit again sometime," X adds. "Yo, it’s getting late, we should probably head back soon." SpongeCock nods his head, “yeah, for all I know, Fatprick could be raping Fricky right now.” “Wait!” Sully interrupts, “he’s probably using ice cream cake as lube.” “Was that necessary?” SpongeCock wonders, continuing to smoke his blunt. “Eh, who care bruh. Let’s go drive the whip home.”
 ONE EXTREMELY HIGH AND DRUNK DRIVE LATER
“Man, that was some good shit,” SpongeCock repeats when he gets to the pinyapple. “I think us 3 got a special bond together.” Sully gets excited and starts to try to kiss SpongeCock, until he and X restrain him. “Damn fool, I didn’t mean THAT type of bond!” “Oh… sorry,” Sully apologizes. ”What are we gonna do tomorrow?” “Well,” SpongeCock starts, “there’s that new casino opening. Mr. Kraps’ endeavor.” “Pffft, man we ain’t gon win anything from that cheap bitch,” X says. “Eh. Let’s just crash and see what’s in store tomorrow,” SpongeCock decides, as the three of them walk in separate directions to their rooms. 
 SOMEWHERE, ON A JET
Several fighter jets swerved through the air, heading straight towards the island of Bikini Atoll. “Full speed ahead! Next stop: Bikini Bottom. Aka, Scumtown,” the captain declares, while inspecting different areas of the jet. It cuts to another jet beside it, which is shown to have several rooms, including a bathroom where an overweight guard comes out of. He goes up to one of the commanders. “Uh, sir? What are we trying to do again?” “Ugh… you know, you’re allowed to lay off the viagra. You’ve been whacking at it like a madman in there.” “Yeah, I know. Couldn’t do it in front of the poor aliens at the base! But my question still stands.” The commander lets out a sigh. “We’re going to invade Bikini Bottom, which took us MONTHS to locate. They’re the city of the people who stormed Area 51, remember? They took XXXTentacion.” The soldier lets out an “OHHHHHH!” before getting confused again. “Pfft, that was stupid. They should’ve taken Kobe,” he says while he lights a cigar. “Corporate! You know well that the raid happened in September! We didn’t get him to go on the helicopter and fake his death until January. Man, all that smoke is getting to your brain.” “You sound like a boomer right now,” he lets out, but the commander smacks the cigar out of his hand, right out of a window.
“Hey! That was my last one,” he complained. “I don’t care. Anyway… they also have one of our test subjects, Exodus 69.” The soldier has a deadpan expression as he coughs up some of the smoke. “But sir, that was clearly a squid who just wanted to stop Bikini Bottom. I don’t think he’s an alien.” “Man, you can’t be so gullible if you’re gonna work for the US Airforce! If you’re gonna be gullible, then just go work for the liberal media” he complains. The camera cuts to the outside view of the jets who start to submerge underwater.
 THE NEXT MORNING IN BIKINI BOTTOM
SpongeCock has woken up in a similar pool of sticky seed that he woke up in the morning before. It had not been as a result of a Bernie Sanders speech and BDSM video - he had crusted his boxers during a wet dream. “Man, I thought only Fricky had those,” he wondered, as he walked out his room in his Ugg slippers and a blunt in his hand. Sully and X were already awake on the couch, watching an episode of The Booncocks. “Ayo, Lil Wayne’s guest voice is lit,” X says as SpongeCock goes to pour a cup of coffee. “Faxxx. This show should’ve gone on lon-” he gets interrupted by Fatprick hightailing over and plopping right onto Sully. “It’s time to feast on a morning ice cream cake while watching 1 Night in Paris. Oh BOY, am I about to cream in two ways.” “Fatprick, you fat fuck! Since when did you like Paris Hilton? And since when was it okay to satisfy yourself in front of everyone else?,” SpongeCock chews him. He takes a sip of his coffee as Fatprick giggles. “Eh, you’re right. Say, we’re gonna go hit up the Cum Bucket right? I REALLY need to get my hands on their Cum Stir-fry!” “Well, actually, Fatprick,” SpongeCock states, “X, Sully, and I are gonna hit up the club again. Might get a couple weed patties.” Fricky comes running in. “Dad, you broke bitch, you’re the one who flips the weed patties to get minimum wage, you’re a failure, old man.” Everyone stares blankly at him. “Eh, I’ll just go back to bed,” he says as he recedes back to his bed.” “Aight cock, I’m just saying,” Fatprick attempts to persuade him, shitting his pants mid-sentence. “Oops, that was the cake.” “We’ll hang out tomorrow,” SpongeCock tries to convince him, but then Fatprick springs off the couch (before being able to crush Sully to death) and waddles over to SpongeCock.
“I thought I was your best friend!” “Bruh, all of you homies are my homies, you dig?” SpongeCock tries to comfort him. But Fatprick continues to babble like an idiot as X and Sully make their way over to the Pinyapple’s window. “Ayo, guys,” Sully informs them, “you might wanna check this out. We’re about to be in some deep shit.” The view cuts to the sky where several of the jets shown above start coming full force towards their neighborhood, circling Conch Street. “This is probably just some 4th of July ritual,” SpongeCock says, trying to lighten the mood. “SpongeCock, it’s May,” X replies. “This is some serious malarkey, as Joe Biden would say.” SpongeCock, X, Sully, and Fatprick make their way to just outside the pinyapple’s door. They peak just around the corner to see one jet swerving around while starting to employ a machine gun. It cuts to the inside of the fighter jet as the pilot whips out a megaphone and opens the hatch slightly. “THIS IS REVENGE! WHAT’S UP WIT IT, CUZ! HAHAHAHA!” SpongeCock glances at the other guys. “Man, this guy has some issues. Just shoot us alr-” The jet fires some bullets just in front of the pinyapple’s driveway, just pissing the road. The four of them quickly make their way back into safety - well, until Fatprick trips on a pebble. “Come on, Fat! This is some serious business…” Sully says as he drags him inside. “Bruh, who the sasuke fuck was that?” X deliberates.
“YO, WHAT WAS THAT?!” Fricky comes out of his room screeching, holding Gory in his hands. “I can’t go out like this! I’d be a legend gone too soon, like X- oh wait nevermind.” Fricky catches his mistake as X folds his arms. “Maybe it’s just that time of the month?” Fatprick suggests. However, at that moment, a crash is heard not too far off from the pinyapple, as the five of them barge over to the door, slowly opening the door a crack. They all see the agents that are jumping out of the plane wreck, clearly armed with blasters and other weapons. “Bruh, who da cock are you?” SpongeCock asks. The commander, who is standing in front, whips out a megaphone. “This is the United States Air Force!,” he announces, with Sully flipping his tentacle. “Pfft, America stay on that interventionist shit.” “No time to preach your leftist agenda! Shoot em, gentlemen!,” he orders, with the guard firing several shots towards the pinyapple. They barely are able to duck back inside, but a shot hits Fatprick that bounces off and deflects into one of the soldiers. An agent makes their way over, clearly in a medical uniform. “Yeah… he’s as dead as CrazySponge.” “OH GOD OH FUCK!” All of the other soldiers shout. “Fatprick, man,” SpongeCock grabs him, “That was WAY too close.”
“Stop your skullduggery, Bikini Bottom TRASH! You raided Area 51, and stole not just XXXTENTACION…” The camera cuts to X looking forlorn. “But Exodus 69 has also been registered to this address.” “BRUH!!!” Sully begins to fume. “WHAT PART OF ‘I’M A SQUID’ DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?!” “We’re not buying that, traitor,” the commander shouts. “Plus, there are hundreds of other aliens that were taken here, and you claimed the lives of thousands of guards. Well now, you filthy degenerates, we shall be claiming the lives of you.” The camera gets dark when he says that last sentence, as SpongeCock is beginning to find a way out of the back. “Come on guys! Climb out of this window! It’s our only way out!” “Or we could surrender,” Fatprick says. The other four say “no” in unison, with Gory adding a meow. “Well, we’re WAITING!” The forces begin to get impatient. “Alright,” he whispers to the other guards, “we’re going in.” They all sprint towards the Pinyapple opening, but at that point, everyone except for Fatprick has already climbed out of the window. It shows SpongeCock trying to pull him out, showing shots simultaneous with the intrusion. “Come on, fatass!” “Ugh……” Fatprick emphasizes, but SpongeCock finally pulls him through, causing him to eject out of the window and land on him. “Ooops….. Sorry, Sponge.” SpongeCock pops right out of the ground. “NOW RUN!!!!!!!” The five of them start to run, with SpongeCock carrying Gory. At the same time, the soldiers say “NOW GET THEM!,” as they start looking through the Pinyapple. They look through the kitchen, living room, the three bedrooms, SpongeCock’s cummy bedroom, but they can not find the fugitives. “We lost them….” One of the commanders throws his binoculars at him, knocking him before the commander picks him back up. “Sorry. But where are those war criminals?” “Uh, sir?” An intern named Moe points out of the window to show the runaways on foot. “Oh. I see. Well, fire up the choppers! Time to terrorize them.” “Hey, this place rocks!” a soldier says, using the bathroom to take a mean ass shit. “CHRIS! It’s not the time,” the commander states, but Chris has already clogged the toilet.
Cuts to the gang starting to reach the middle of nowhere, starting to pant. “I think we lost them,” SpongeCock proclaims. “Yeah, I’m not going back to no Area 51. This is my crib now,” X says. Sully looks back and notices two choppers that are firing missiles around them, exploding on impact. “Guys, they spotted us,” he says. The group freaks out, but ultimately decides to keep running as they find a bunker outside of The Krusty Kock. They quickly enter the bunker.
"I think we lost them," SpingeCock says as Fatrick's ass spurts out a triple shit deluxe. "We can't hide here forever but this will probably do for now," Sully adds. "I think we should get some rest. I'm scared shitless. Everything I saw in Area 51… I don't think I would be able to say out loud holy shit," X says. Fricky says, "You guys can go to sleep, I'll stand on guard." 
The screen slowly turns black but then suddenly returns back to normal when a banging is heard from the door causing everyone but Fatprick to wake up. "Who the fuck can that be," SpongeCock whispers. "They probably found us." "Bro there's no way, we lost sight of them," says X. Suddenly, a very faint "Help me" can be heard from outside the door, and Fatprick suddenly jerks awake. “Sounds like a typical damsel in distress,” Fatprick says, “I'm gonna get laid tonight!” “Fatprick, you dumbass!” SpongeCock says. “This is reality, not some sappy show about Paris!” “Don't you talk about my Paris Hilton like that!” Fatprick replies. “Besides, I got that from Super Dildo Bros.!” 
The “Help me” screams get louder, and the gang starts getting stressed. “Should we open the door?” X asks. “Hell naw, we need to get some weaponry just in case it’s those damn fools,” SpongeCock answers. “But where are we gonna get something to fend off the goddamn MILITARY?” asks X. “Mr. Kraps has always been afraid of right wing overlords, which is the exact reason why he keeps a giant missile underground. Now all we need is a metal detector to find it,” SpongeCock answers.
“I guess he isn't such a weed eater after all,” X says. “But how in the hell are we gonna find a metal detector?” Suddenly, Fatprick shits all over the floor. “Maybe I shouldn't have eaten so much ice cream cake.” “Fatprick, there IS no ice cream cake in here! Only metal shit.” SpongeCock says. “Oh. That must be why my fat ass stomach was beeping.”
“Maybe being such a shitty fatass isn't the worst thing in the world.” SpongeCock says. “Let's hope there's a metal detector in this pile of shit.”
“Ay yo, this shit is fucking disgusting.” X remarks as he turns on the flashlight on his phone. “Pipes, weed pipes, more pipes… is this a metal detector?” He hesitantly picks up something that resembles a metal detector.
“Ew, I ate THAT?!” Fatprick yells. “This is highway robbery!” “Don't get your bowels in a bunch, buddy,” SpongeCock says. “Now we can find that huge ass rocket.” He takes the metal detector from X and starts using it, and it almost immediately picks up a signal. They realize that Fatprick also shat out the missile. “What a waste of time,” SpongeCock mumbles. “Come on, let's get those motherfuckers.” “You guys go out and fight. I'll stand guard.” Fricky says.
The others sneakily go outside with the missile while Fricky starts thinking about his life choices. “Help meeeee!” screeches one of the US Air Force members. “You're making my ears bleed faster than back in ‘Nam!” another one says. “They're coming!” says another one who spots the gang. “Prepare the choppers…. and jets!” “They've been in the air for the past 45 minutes.”
SpongeCock notices the Air Force coming for them and alerts the others. “Shit. We've been spotted!” Sully says, “My glory days are officially over. Goodbye, y'all.” “No,” SpongeCock says, “It's not over yet. Besides, we still have the missile.” “Yeah, but how the HELL are we even gonna use it? We don't have a missile launcher!” SpongeCock heaves a heavy sigh and holds his hands to his face.
The Air Force is catching up with the gang. “Target sighted!” one of the guys in an attack helicopter says. A missile double the size of the one Fatprick shat is shot directly in front of the gang. The missile misses by an inch or two. “Looks like my time is up,” Fatprick cries, “Don't eat ANY of the ice cream cake in the fridge!” “Oh SHIT!” Sully yells. “For the last time. I'm. A. SQUID!”
A helicopter with a machine gun equipped starts shooting at the gang, one of the bullets hitting Fatprick’s arm causing blood to stream out. “MY FUCKING ARM! THAT WAS MY DOMINANT ARM I USED TO FAP WITH!” Fatprick rips off his arm and throws it at one of the helicopter’s blades. The blade malfunctions causing that helicopter to spiral out of control and crash land. Ropes start being thrown out of the helicopters and soldiers start sliding down. The gang runs towards the soldiers, not giving a shit that the soldiers had incredibly dangerous weapons. Fatprick starts bashing the soldiers’ heads together while Gory bites into the flesh of countless soldiers’ legs. X and Sully attempt to sprint towards the air force commander, however they are both shot in the leg. The commander quickly calls for other soldiers to pick X and Sully up and place them into the helicopter. The gang realizes what the soldiers are doing and tries to stop them, but they are not successful. The helicopter with both X and Sully captured quickly takes off. 
SpongeCock can now be seen getting furious. “We did all we could, buddy,” Fatprick says. Suddenly, SpongeCock lifts the missile and launches it towards the enemy helicopters still present at the battle scene. The missle collides with four helicopters causing a massive explosion. Rubble falls everywhere, crushing various soldiers. The Air Force orders a retreat and quickly sprints away. SpongeCock is still breathing heavily and Fatprick and Fricky try to comfort him.
“They’re gone,” SpongeCock gasps. “They’re really gone.” SpongeCock clenches his fists as they all walk back home, seeing the damage the Air Force has done to Bikini Bottom. Most of the buildings around them are crumbling and are torn apart, with smoke still billowing from the wreckage. Countless dead bodies can be seen. “Everything we knew and loved is now a… a wasteland,” says Fatprick. Barely anybody can be seen, as most of the Bikini Bottomites have fled. “So what the hell do we do now SpongeCock?” SpongeCock sighs. “Well for the first time I have no ideas.” 
 MEANWHILE, AT TOWN HALL
The mayor had been on the phone with his advisors, discussing the results of a proposal. “No man, that’s not what approval voting is! I swear, it’s not useless, maybe if you just listened you’d understand!” He then hangs up in frustration, muttering something. under his breath. “Man, this town is in shambles,” he says, looking out the window. “Let’s just hope no one tries to perform a coup. Pfff, who would even try such a thing,” he said while he started laughing. At that moment, several guards invaded the surplus with numerous assault weapons and a bounty of ammo. “FREEZE!” The commander says, “AND NO ONE GETS HURT!” The mayor then puts his hands in the air, unsure of what’s going on. “What-“ “DON’T TALK!” The commander then jabs him with his gun, causing him to fall over and lay down while the entirety of the fleet rooted through his office. They had been replacing content in the files, had drawn in new locations on the map, and wiped off his desk completely. “Man, this better not be that pink fatass rioting for a new septic,” the mayor said. “Oh, don’t worry,” Chris said. “It’s far better than that. Raise it, gentlemen!” The mayor looked up to see a few soldiers take down the Bikini Bottom flag on the pole, replacing it with the American flag. They then all began to salute to it, while the national anthem started playing over moaning sounds. “Chris! I thought you edited it out!” “Yeah, but I had a long day, I needed to kick back and relax.” The mayor finally got up and turned the CD off, demanding an answer.
“Take a look around you, Mr. Mayor. The absolute mockery we received at our very own Area 51 was devastating. So we tried seeing what it was like on YOUR home turf, and well… you guys are pathetic. Your town is filled with a bunch of low-life degenerates,” the commander started. “Well, yes, I knew that our town was sleazy,” the mayor began. “But I swear I would’ve fixed it! I know I could’ve!” “Nah, your window of opportunity is shot down, bro,” the commander began. “If you couldn’t shake some sense into your town, then trust me, we will.” “Damn,” the mayor got pissed, “I really just had a coup d’état against me by the US air force! Just don’t force any conservative shit, please,” he begged. The scene ends with the entire air force laughing at his request.
The episode then cuts to a broken down crew - everyone had still been laying there after Sully and X were forcibly taken, and they were deprived of their habitat and resources. SpongeCock started to break down and sob, while Fricky tried to comfort him. “Hey dad, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry,” he said, as he looked back at Fricky and smiled. “Yeah,” he gets up, reassured, “at least I still have you guys.” “Huh? You HAVE me?” Fatprick questions. “Nev- nevermind.” At that moment, the new fascist government had installed a watch tower on the town hall, and grabbed a megaphone to alert all inhabitants of the area. “GREETINGS, DEPLORABLES!” Chris shouted, which caused a whole crowd of Bikini Bottomites to make their way over to the tower. “TODAY IS A BIG DAY… FOR US!” SpongeCock started to gulp. A random Bikini Bottomite started shouting gibberish, sounding like he was deepthroating a couple hundred cocks, but then one of the guards pulled out a sniper to hit the protester. “That damn fool had it coming,” one of the commanders said. “Yeah… just in a different sense” the character says, as he falls to the ground.
“Effective immediately, Bikini Bottom is US territory. We will exert total power and control over this region. So, as our first command - go build a statue in our honor,” he yells. “Remember, WE are your SUPERIORS!” The air force then started cheering in loud decibels, as the Bikini Bottomites started booing. “We just stole one of your subjects! You created a fascist oligarchy!,” Shitward yelled, as the commander shakes his head. “Just.. we have some work to do.” 
 A FEW TREACHEROUS HOURS LATER
The scene shows several Bikini Bottomites building a statue showcasing several air force soldiers. “Ugh… I need water,” SpongeCock utters, while propelled up in the air and cutting through marble. “I need ice cream cake!” Fatprick demands, while punching the statue. “Shut up, Fatprick!” SpongeCock tells him, but they have already been whipped by a soldier. “HEY! Less chit-chat and more pit-pat! You know what happens if you keep back-sassing us.” SpongeCock and Fatprick glance back and forth and nod their heads in order to come to terms, saying “...you cut off our dicks?” “HEY, NONE OF THAT HERE! We say male genitalia in our government, you got that?” “Yes sir,” they both say, as they continue hopelessly constructing the statue.
 SOMEWHERE IN THE OCEAN
The scene cuts to a US jet flying through the air. It cuts to the inside, showing a soldier driving it while Sully and X are both tied up against a wall. “Well, I hope you two enjoyed your vacations,” the pilot says. “Because now you’re going back to subject life at good ol’ Area 51.” “Eh, aight. Jussss make sure my album drops,” X asks. SpongeCock would wanna hear it.” “Sponge who?” he asks. Sully starts becoming mad. “Hey dude, LET ME GO! I’m not from Area 51!” “Sure you are, Exodus 69. You know your place.” “I’M NOT AN ALIEN! I’M A SQUID!” X then shushes him, trying to relieve his stress. “They busted us out once. They could do it again,” he whispers. Sully then looks off in distress, feeling anxious about his future.
 THE VERY VERY VERY NEW, RENOVATED FASCIST TOWN HALL
Chris had been watching the slaves from his screen at his desk, smoking a cigar while laughing away. “MAN!” he stopped laughing, “These people are PATHETIC! I guess when you threaten people with fascism, good shit happens.” “Well, that’s what’s been happening to ESB all these years, right?” one of the guards ask. “Man… I don’t even know anymore.” The view then shows a shadow walking along the hallways, heading to Chris’ office. The shadow is shown to be somewhat small, as it lurks up to the room in heavy footsteps - heavy enough for Chris to hear. “Y’all hear sumn?” he asks, looking around the room. “Nah, just me?” “Man, you’re too paranoid. No psycho bitch is gonna come up and bang you. You’re too ugly anyway,” the guard assures him. “One more crack like that and your ass is with those fools, you got that?” Chris commands.
It cuts back to the shadow, who comes onto the screen, revealing to be Sheldon Bastard. He starts shaping his hands around and laughing maniacally as he comes to the door. He enters the office with a cut in his skin, placing a hand against the wall. “Gentlemen, I’m here to do business with you,” Bastard proclaims. Chris jumps up scared for a second. “What? Get back to your station immediately! I didn’t say you could have a break!” Chris says, sending guards after him. “Oh, don’t worry,” Sheldon says. “I’m here to give YOU a break. Gentlemen - I have a plan for you,” he says. The episode ends with cuts of the air force guards chattering their teeth, Sheldon winking at Chris, Sully and X coping with their capture on a jet about to reach Area 51, and SpongeCock, Fatprick, and Shitward breaking sweats as they unveil part of the statue. 
“Man… maybe I shouldn’t go and get Tupac. I wouldn’t want the Malaysian government on my ass too,” SpongeCock asks. “Uhhh, just shit my pants thinking about it,” Fatprick says. “And about this too.” SpongeCock and Shitward hit him with a deadpan expression as the background music starts to tremble as the episode concludes.
 TO BE CONTINUED…
==Trivia==
*On May 28, 2020, it was announced that there will be 3 title cards for the episode, all created by different users.
**Rocky Lobster's title card, the main one, will be used for television airings and reruns.
**CrazySponge's title card will be used for home video and media.
**TheJasbre202's title card will be used for streaming.
*This is, to date, the longest episode of Life in Bikini Bottom, clocking in at over 5.5k words and a run time of 44 minutes.
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