The Officer Earl Movie/Transcript

== Opening Titles/Officer Earl’s Introduction ==
(Columbia Pictures presents)
(a Sony Pictures Animation film)
== ShitToilet ==
Vector: DAMMIT GRU
YOU KNOW I AM A VILLAIN
OF MY SHRINKING, I HAVE A SHRINK RAY
DAMMIT GRU
YOU KNOW I'M SO MUCH
COOLER THAN THE CRAZY, DUMB, OFFICER EARL
THEN TELL ME, CHARLIE, WHY I SEE HER
DANCING THERE,
WHY HER ROBO EYES STILL SCORCH MY SOUL
(As Frollo sings, the flames in the fireplace take the form 
of a dancing Esmeralda, dancing for Frollo's pleasure.)
LIKE TOILET, SH**TOILET
THIS TOILET IN MY SKIN
THIS FLUSHING DESOILET
IS TURNING ME TO SIN!
(The walls of the room and the flames suddenly become 
a row of judges, all dressed in red robes. Frollo is terrified.)
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
I'M NOT TO BLAME!
IT IS THE TEENAGE ROBOT
THE ROBOT AS A TEEN
IT'S NOT MY FAULT
IF, IN GOD'S PLAN,
SHE MADE ZOMBI SO MUCH STRONGER THAN A GUY!
PROTECT ME, CHARLIE!
DON'T LET THIS FARTING CAST HER SPELL
DON'T LET HER TOILET SEAR MY FLESH AND BONE
DESTROY JENNY
AND LET HER TASTE THE SH** OF TOILET
OR ELSE LET HER BE MINE AND MINE AT ALL!
(The room returns to normal as a minion pounds on the door, then enters.)
Minion: Minister Frollo, the gypsy has escaped.
Vector: What!?!
Minion: She's nowhere in the cathedral. She's gone.
Vector: But how? I... never mind. Get out, you idiot! 
I'll find her. I'll find her if I have to burn down all of Swallow Falls!
SH**TOILET, FART TOILET
NOW ROBOT IT'S YOUR TURN!
CHOOSE ME OR YOUR POILET
BE MINE, OR YOU WILL FLUSH!
GOD HAVE MERCY ON HER
GOD HAVE MERCY ON ME
BUT SHE WILL BE MINE, OR SHE WILL FLUSH!
== After Credits ==
VECTOR’S MINIONS: Master, They have been doing this!
VECTOR: What?
VECTOR’S MINIONS: We Have To Tell You About It Now!
VECTOR: Nevermind, F*** off you guys, I hired someone, someone who will kill them!