Transcripts 2004-04

Transcripts from April 2004 strips.
==April 2==
Panel 1Completely black-and-white monochrome comic, still featuring Kevin, crossing his arms with a glower, and the speaker (presumed the Governor) from the prior comic. The speaker is sitting at a desk with one fist against his jaw and the other gesturing in the air. A solid white screen is visible on the computer monitor.Speaker: ...Apparently it really burns the Americans that we have a far superior sustem to theirs for a fraction of the cost! Head office loves it!Panel 2Close-up of the speaker sternly staring into the camera.Speaker: You know they jump at any chance to go one up on the septics, so they want the Oracle online for now! However they are taking your concerns into account!Panel 3Angled view of panel 1, with the speaker's hands lowered.Kevin: Bollocks!Speaker: Less of that! Go and write up a report for them. Avoid long words and add lots of graphs!
==April 5==
Panel 1Completely black-and-white monochrome comic. The speaker holds some papers in one hand and points at Kevin with the other. Kevin looks back over his shoulder at the speaker.Speaker: Oh one last thing Kevin...Panel 2Slight angle change from panel 1. Kevin is facing the speaker, who holds the papers with both hands.Speaker: Turn on the light on your way out would you? I can't see a bloody thing!
==April 9==
Animated GIFNine-frame looping animation of Al putting a bun in his mouth and eating it whole.Caption: BUSY EATING HOT CROSS BUNS!
==April 12==
Panel 1The lights are back on in the comic. Kevin is looking off to one side.Speaker: Oh! Wait a second Kevin. This is the list of numbers you said the Oracle is calling correct?Kevin: Yes sir.Kevin: Well the ones we can make out at least. Is there a problem sir?Panel 2The speaker is holding a paper up to his face to obscure it until the last panel. It is relatively evident that the speaker is in fact the Governor.Governor: No... no that will be all Kevin thank you. That'll be all for now. I'll handle this from here.Panel 3Side view of the Governor glaring at the paper. With his full face in view, his resemblance to Richard is made clearer.Governor (thinking): I'll handle this because for one I don't want anyone finding out that one of these numbers is that of my son's!
==April 16==
Panel 1Richard has his hands on Anne's shoulders and is kissing the back of her head. Anne laughs and tries to hide her displeasure at being interrupted.Anne: Ger off you! I'm working!Panel 2Richard turns his head to one side and looks at Anne sideways.Richard: Hay come on! Did you know that an active sex life drastically decreases the chance of prostate cancer? Don't you feel bad about endangering my health?Panel 3Anne turns to look over her shoulder at Richard, who has a look of dismissal on his face.Anne: I would if it wasn't for the fact you don't need me to help with that!Richard: Pfft, yeah but that way costs a fortune in hand cream!
==April 19==
Panel 1Norman is sitting down and eating a bowl of cereal with a glass of strawberry milkshake next to him. Richard glares at the milkshake and cereal as Norman side-eyes Richard as he "CRUNCH CRUNCH!"-es his cereal.Richard: My, that strawberry milkshake and that milky cereal sure looks nice and milky! I hope there's enough milk for my tea!Panel 2Richard glares directly at Norman, who turns and glares back with a "CRUNCH! MUNCH!"Panel 3Richard raises his arms in the air as Norman speaks.Norman: Is that a subtle hint to go and buy some more milk?Richard: Praise the Lord! It CAN learn!
==April 23==
Panel 1Richard crosses his arms and gives Norman a disapproving look, ears folded back. Norman frowns back.Richard: You know the rules. If we run out of milk before the next delivery, the one that finishes it goes to buy more!Norman: Give me one good reason why I should!Panel 2The camera angles slightly to view from behind Richard, now angry, up at Norman, who balks.Richard: Well there's the fact I could chuck you out onto the street for breaching your tenants agreement and no one else will put up with you so you'll be homeless!Norman: Um, okay. I must admit that is indeed a very good reason why I should!
==April 26==
Panel 1Norman walks down the street with his hands in his pockets, kicking at a piece of debris with a scowl on his face. A knee-high brick wall with a small grassy area behind it are in the background. A hedge and a small lamp are visible in the grass, with silhouetted houses behind that.Norman (thinking): Man, when did Richard get so boring?Panel 2Close-up of Norman looking into the camera, with a cloudy sky behind him.Norman (thinking): I remember a time when he was an even bigger nutter then me! He's no fun at all now! When the hell did he change?Norman (thinking): He started acting all weird and "sensible" when he met Lisa. I dunno what she did to him, but he'd grin like an idiot for days after they studied together!
==April 30==
Panel 1View from behind a shelf of milk jugs inside a convenience store. Norman is glaring at them with intensity. Another shelf of small bottles is visible in the background.Norman (thinking): Also when did we have to start buying milk from some faceless monopoly? We used to get daily deliveries from the diary. Not any more!Panel 2Side view as Norman holds up a milk jug with disdain.Norman (thinking): Pfft! Look at me! I'm 24 years old and I'm reminiscing like some old fart!Norman (thinking): Hell I remember when they still gave free milk out at school!Panel 3Close-up of Norman walking away from the dairy section with a smirk on his face, the milk jug slightly visible in the corner of the panel.Norman (thinking): They don't even do that any more because of some cost-cutting fuckers! Pity, because those where fun!Norman (thinking): Especially when Richard spiked them all with laxative! Man that got messy!
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