The Joy Chord/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "The Joy Chord".
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(Poppy and Holly are playing croquet. Just before Poppy hits the ball, Dante pops out of the bushes.)
Dante: Poppy!
Poppy and Holly: AAAAAAH!
Poppy: Uh… Hey, Dante. (She wipes her dress.) Whew. What’s up?
Dante: My vigorous letter campaign has borne fruit! The Classical Tribe’s greatest composer and my personal hero, Beetrollven, has agreed to visit me here in TrollsTopia!
Holly: Well, hot dang!
Poppy: That’s great, Dante!
Dante: Indeed! Oh, but you don’t want to hear me go on talking about Beetrollven… when I could sing about BeeTrollven! (He sings BeeTrollven.)
(Dante)
He starts his day
Writing 10 symphonies
He’s the most prolific
And creative mind
He’s got cachet
The finest pedigree
He invented manners
He’s the reason we’re refined
He’s the sweetest smelling Troll
Even roses stop and smell his robes
He’s set the tone for my whole life
Beetrollven
Bold and inspired
Oh, he’s so baroque
With every note evoking hope
A life devoted
To composing the sublime
Beetrollven
Golden devine
Dante: And that doesn’t even cover Beetrollven’s greatest creation: the Joy Chord! (We go to the past where Beetrollven is performing an orchestra.) A secret arrangement of notes… that elicits an involuntary response of happiness in all who hear it! (We go back to the present.) And Beetrollven has agreed to teach it to me! (He laughs and spins.)
Holly: Uh… sugar, I don’t mean to pour honey in your hair spray, but this doesn’t say he’ll teach you the Joy Chord. (Dante stops spinning.)
Poppy: Yeah. Are you sure you’re not reading into things just a little?
Dante: Hm… Oh, pish-posh.
Poppy and Holly: Huh?
Dante: That’s right. I pish that posh. I deserve this honor and I’ve no doubt that Beetrollven, with his superior taste, shall agree. (Some musical notes carrying a carriage arrives.) Oh! What fortuitous timing. Here he comes now! Holly, Poppy, I present to you the one and only… (The carriage opens, revealing Beetrollven himself.) Ah! (Beetrollven flies toward Dante and burps.)
Beetrollven: Oh! Yo!
Dante: Wha…?
Beetrollven: ‘Sup, madames? You Dante? You look like a Dante. (He pats his tummy.)
Dante: (Flying in front of Holly) I am Dante Crescendo. Who, pray tell, are you? And where is Beetrollven?
Beetrollven: You’re lookin’ at him, chief! Come on! (He shakes his fists like he is punching.) Right?! (laughs)
Dante: You are Beetrollven?
Beetrollven: That’s what it says on my bathrobe. (The camera zooms in to reveal two stains.) Wait, no, that’s barbeque sauce. Uh… well, anyway, nice to finally meet you, Dante. Gotta say, you are not what I pictured! (chuckles) Whoo! (He licks the barbecue sauce off his bathrobe. Dante mumbles in disgust.)
Holly: Uh… Dante, this Beetrollven seems way different than what you described. Have you even met him before?
Dante: Well, no. I just assumed such exquisite music could only come from an elegant Troll, well, like me! Certainly not… that. (Beetrollven finishes sucking on his bathrobe.)
Beetrollven: Whoa-ho! Hey there, honey mustard. (We see that there is a mustard stain on his bathrobe.) It’s like I got my own smorgasbord goin’ on here. (He sucks on his bathrobe again.)
Dante: Then again, I suppose I mustn’t a scrapbook by its cover… (Beetrollven’s burp is heard.) I’m sure deep down, in the appendix, he is still the hero I know him to be.
Beetrollven: (Putting a hand on Dante’s shoulder) Yo, Dante! I gotta get a little sum sum in my tum tum! What’s a Troll gotta do around here to get some Puffalo wings? Eh? Eh?
Dante: Some… what? (At Classical Crest, he watches Beetrollven dip a Puffalo wing in sauce.)
Beetrollven: Whoo! Welcome to Yummy Town, baby. Population… I’m gonna eat you! (He eats two Puffalo wings and gets sauce all over his face.) You sure you don’t want a bite?
Dante: (Watching crumbs fall on the table) Certain. Are you sure you don’t want a fork?
Beetrollven: Nah! Like to feel the sauce between my fingers. (laughs) Sauce! (He sucks on his fingers while Dante screams.)
Dante: Well, delightful as this is… (He takes out a pen and music sheet.) Regarding the Joy Chord, in my own studies, I have to deduced the chord is in the key of G, but I cannot decipher the five notes, so-
Beetrollven: (Pointing a finger at Dante) Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. First, it’s seven notes. (He eats another Puffalo wing.) And 2nd, it’s in D-Major. And 2nd… (He sucks on two of his fingers.) And 2nd, before any of that, we gotta have ourselves a bro hang.
Dante: A bro… hang? (Beetrollven puts a hand on his back.)
Beetrollven: Y’know, get to know each other. I mean, the Joy Chord’s a powerful thing, I can’t just teach to any poor slob. Can you imagine? (He hits Dante and laughs.)
Dante: (Wiping his coat) No, I can’t. Well then, let us have this bro hang. What did you have in mind? (Beetrollven laughs. We then cut to him and Dante riding the Dune Huggy. He drives it around in circles in a big mud puddle. Dante gets mud in his face. Later, he and Beetrollven watch a Glitterball game. We can see that Beetrollven has most of his body painted blue.)
Beetrollven: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Go, blue, baby! Yeah! (A Glitterball lands on Dante’s face.) Whooooo! (Dante chuckles nervously. Soon, Beetrollven gets a tattoo of Dante on his back by Harper. She then proceeds to put a tattoo of Beetrollven on Dante. He is then seen with the tattoo on his chest and covers it with embarrassment.) Whoo. Don’t know about you, but tattoo’in makes me so milk-thirsty! (He starts drinking a carton of milk. As he drinks, some milk falls out. As Dante watches, Beetrollven hands out the milk carton.) Eh?
Dante: Please… haven’t I endured enough?
Beetrollven: Oh. Yeah. Guess we should get down to it. OK, here’s what you gotta know about the Joy Chord… (Dante picks up his pen and music sheet.)
Dante: Hm?
Beetrollven: I’m not gonna teach you the Joy Chord.
Dante: Wh-wh-wh-what?!
Beetrollven: Sorry, chief. But I’ve met a lotta Classical Trolls like you before. Always rollin’ your eyes just ‘cause I don’t talk fancy or use napkins.
Dante: What?! Why, that’s just… that’s just… OK, it’s entirely true. What does that have to do with the Joy Chord?
Beetrollven: It shows a lack of humility, hoss. And like I said, the Joy Chord is totes powerful. Only a humble Troll can be trusted with it. (burps)
Dante: Fine! If you won’t teach me, I will simply teach myself! I already know the key signature and the number of notes! For a Troll of my talent, that is plenty! (He starts to leave.) And by the way, you’ve had an entire Puffalo wing stuck in your beard since you got out of that carriage! (Beetrollven takes out another Puffalo wing.)
Beetrollven: Ooh! Bonus wing! (He laughs and cuts the Puffalo wing in half.) Wanna go halfsies or-
Dante: NO!!! (As he leaves Beetrollven eats the Puffalo wing. Later, Dante is seen learning the Joy Chord.) Ah, yes. It’s so simple.
Poppy: Dante? (Dante turns around and sees Poppy and Holly.) Is everything OK?
Holly: We just saw Beetrollven headin’ on outta town on his fancy carriage.
Dante: Ugh… Off to engage in some sauce-related activity, no doubt. ‘Tis no matter. I don’t need Beetrollven. I’ve deciphered the secret myself. And you shall be the first to hear it! (He places his music sheet above the keyboards.) I give you… joy. (He plays some keyboards and beautiful music plays.)
Poppy and Holly: Aw!
Holly: I… I feel somethin’ y’all. It’s… it’s… (She and Poppy get the hiccups.)
Dante: Oh, my. A hiccup chord? I must have played the wrong combination of notes.
Holly: Ya… (hiccups) … think?
Dante: Worry not, friends. I just need to make a slight adjustment and… (He plays a note and the hiccups stop.)
Holly: Achoo! Uh, Dante! Achoo! I think you just played the…
Poppy: Achoo!
Holly: Sneeze chord!
Both: Achoo! (They faint.)
Dante: Ah! (He plays another note and the sneezing stops. But Poppy and Holly get all itchy.)
Poppy: Argh! The itch chord!
Holly: Play anythin’! (Dante plays another note and Poppy and Holly’s legs fall asleep.) Aah! It’s the “my legs are asleep” chord! (Dante plays another note. This causes Poppy and Holly to cluck like chickens.)
Dante: No, no, no! What have I done?! (He flies off to find Beetrollven.) Beetrollven! Beetrollven! Stop! You must help me! (Beetrollven sticks his head out the window.)
Beetrollven: Well, well, well. Look who’s back.
Dante: Please listen. You were right. The chord is totes powerful and… and I was a fool to think I could perform it without you, a fool! I see now I have so much more to learn, but… my friends are in trouble. Will you help them?
Beetrollven: Nope?
Dante: Huh?
Beetrollven: You will.
Dante: Come again? (Beetrollven gets out of the carriage.)
Beetrollven: You need humility, my guy. And that is what you have just shown me. You passed my test. (He puts on his glasses and changes into a fancy outfit.) Greetings and salutations from the true Beetrollven. (Dante is in shock.) Please forgive this deception, but I had to make sure you were worthy to wield this monumental musical mystery. (He closes Dante’s mouth. Back at Classical Crest, Holly clucks at a bug she sees. Dante then returns.)
Holly: Oh, good! (clucks) You’re back! Wait, who’s that?
Dante: The great Beetrollven! Gentleman composer and my hero! (Beetrollven shows him a finger and plays a note. Poppy and Holly stop clucking and sigh.)
Holly: That’s some good joy there, y’all.
Dante: Thank you, my friend, for teaching me the humility I needed. And as an expression of my gratitude, perhaps I could treat you to an order of Puffalo wings? (He and Beetrollven are then seen at a table about to eat Puffalo wings. Beetrollven picks up a wing and offers it to Dante. He tastes it and smiles.) Sauce!
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Category:Trolls: TrollsTopia transcripts
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