Operation: Body Count / The Worst Shooter Ever

Operation: Body Count / The Worst Shooter Ever is the title of the video in which Civvie reviews Operation: Body Count. It is the fourth episode of season zero, and the overall fourth episode of Civvie's Dungeon.
== Synopsis ==
== Video ==
== Transcript (auto-generated) ==
Wake up, CV-11.
Oh God. What is happening here?
We have altered your room.
Okay, I think I get this it looks like a shitty DOS game
That's cute, but I don't want to do another shitty DOS game dealing with DOSBox
You know it's not like you speak logging out of windows and just having stuff work
I got to deal with cycles and not just-
Not just any DOS game, CV-11.
Mean as long as it isn't something terrible like I couldn't deal with one of those doom knockoffs, right?
nothing like Corridor 7
It's not like capstone the pinnacle of entertainment software could make a game worse than that if they did
Hard pass on it right now. I am not playing it
Welcome to the dungeon motherfuckers. I seem like I'm in a bad mood today congratulations
You crack the case when so much that I only have water for breakfast
I take my water with ice and a lemon twist mint over with a wet cloth on my face
but [no] my friends because
Something worse happened at least something that doesn't come along very often I played some bad games before you've seen a couple
But every now and then a game comes along that is just wrong
The kind of game you [would] see if you stared into the gaping maw of an elder car
So game you see when you look into the dead [likes]
This is operation body count it is the worst first-person shooter. I have ever played
It was made by a little company called
Capstone Remember them?
they make Corridor 7, of course, this game shared some things with Corridor 7 like the Wolfenstein 3D engine used at least a year
Too late operation body count makes a name for itself because it has every problem that Corridor 7 had
Except done worse, and it adds a truckload of creative incompetence that has to be seen to be believed
You know how I haven't shown any game footage yet.
I don't know where to even begin with this one
like Corridor 7 there's a CD version with cutscenes
I don't have that I can't even find the cutscenes online
But here's a story you're given at the start of the game the government has launched a top-secret military
offensive against foreign troops occupying the U.N. Towers
Codename Operation: Body Count
Just look at that. Just Jesus
According to game box story goes like this
It's the year 2012 because of course it is
Mass Chaos erupts when Militant terrorists take over the united nations Towers and hold a group of ambassadors
Hostage on the top floor hundreds of Hallways there have been booby-trapped [all] the usual accesses are barricaded
Fires are breaking out and negotiations. Have come to an abrupt end 2012
United Nations Towers, huh?
You are [a] member of the Nation's Elite Force trying to take out terrorists when the talking stops?
waste away all the enemies watch
like starve them to death from scum-sucking sewer rats to steroid pumped assassins on your never-say-Die mission to save the
Hostages now the world watches as you confront the terrorist assault and battle your way to the top piece [by] piece
Are you fucking kidding me look at some of the features though multiple?
Weapons a flamethrower or a rocket gun a rocket gun enemies with ambushing tactics
No
cinematic introduction in Cutscenes, not this time Modem and network play
It's the same score to [seven] it's not happening Enhanced Wolfenstein 3D engine
Yeah, definitely not computer controlled allies switch between them or give out simple commands
[I] will get to that textured floors and ceilings I
Don't even know where to fucking start with that one, but no
40 floors of intense battles 90% of these claims are absolute lies let's just pick a game type an-
What?
1 2 3 R T M?
the fuck what is that? What does that mean?
I Don't like to do this, but we got to stop there's a lot to unpack here. Okay number one brown Brown
Number two the floor and ceiling [I] don't know it's not Gradients like Corridor 7
It's textured but like it doesn't do the thing that map textures
Do you know get mapped to surfaces they just warp and I guess they have grids in these levels and they stay in [place]
But I guess they don't know how to do it with the whole texture
They just said fuck it
Capstone, The Pinnacle of Fuck it.
This is so fucked up that
It's not even going to encode correctly
number 3 the guns
it's an Uzi and yeah, it kind of looks like an Uzi, but it's not centered properly so when you shoot it
you're aiming where the gun is pointing and
number four the heads-up display
To its credit the health ammo and armor are labeled, but the ammo is just a fucking bar
It's not a number and so you can't really have any idea how much ammo you have
because one bar isn't one bullet or even one [burst] [of] fire number five this stupid picture of the weapon that takes up all the
space that could be used [for] an ammo counter number six this empty box here which briefly shows you a picture of anything you just
Picked up, but you get messages about that
So it's just more wasted space that could hold an ammo counter
Number seven these three unlabeled boxes are actually score kill count and level number
Number eight I have no fucking idea whatsoever what these four boxes mean
And I will never find out as long as I live please leave a comment
if you know what these four boxes mean because I don't have a manual and
I [don't] think that they have anything to do [with] anything really
Number nine the fucking wall texture doesn't tile properly number ten giant rats are they terrorists rats?
I'm not doing the princess Bride joke. It's too easy
It's not going to get better you think I was all this is the worst Shooting
I've ever played like I'm just lying for the sake of a clickbait, title uh uh no
I'm just trying to find the quick save button and uh what now
What?
You can turn off the floor and make it ugly poorly contrasted red
You see this map like carter seven one right except this one worse
You can't possibly tell which direction you're facing and it doesn't mark enemies even if you can see them
And there's no solid color background
So the whole thing to get lost in this whole mess not only that but you can [see] the secret areas
Just hug the wall next to one of these inaccessible empty sections of the map and you'll find it Every Time!
How do you fuck up secrets more than they did in Corridor 7 make them not Secret?
[now] look at the super realistic damage on the screen this blood here that covers up the parts of the fucking map great
It's so realistic that getting blood out of my face keeps me for being able to read a map or you know wipe it away
There's slime to walk into these walls once or shoot someone too close
And you'll have this shit on your screen for the rest of the level
You might get slimed by the toughest enemies in the game which appear in the early levels
And then never again these slime monsters fuck you sideways
They're always an ugly totally green areas full of vines and shit
And you can't ever see them and they pop up and down and don't show up on the thermal sensor
Why are they here?
This is the second goddamn level out of 40 come to think of it
this doesn't look like the U.N. building and
Are the slime monsters terrorist slime monsters were they just normal slime monsters who got radicalized on the internet?
But there is one other enemy that almost beats the slime monster in terms of ass blasting
these ceiling fans
[I] don't know
I guess there's some kind of robot,
but they re deadly they shoot lightning which sounds like gunshots
Because of course it does
And if they're anywhere near you you're dead
They can take you from full health to dead in the second flat no warning you're dead and when you're dead this shit happens
(AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!)
Don't worry the games just having a stroke
fade out fade in still some health left fade out With healm
Dead.
the objective of each floor is kill terrorists
I have no idea the percentage, but usually taking 30 or so out let me get to the next floor
I know this isn't a 3D engine when I walk [upstairs] can the stairs behind me in the next level not also go up
It's just a texture change guys. It's Stairs
These are the terrorists your most common foe in this Game.
They go down really easy
So easy that when killing waves to them I noticed something you see this this is Sprite
They stole from doom dead serious look
Capstone the pinnacle of tracing menu a trace, okay?
Nobody else got the heart and tell you
YOU TRACE YOU GO AROUND THE LODGE AWAY TRACE, Okay?
You're fighting mostly terrorists [should] [come] [in] [four] flavors regular off regular buff guy and buff guy with a shirt
They all go down easy you could use the easy for any of them that does it for enemies
You'll meet now. You just have to get through forty levels
I
Can't glitch my way out of them this time either you get a shotgun to start with
Which has infinite ammo and the fire rate of a flintlock?
It can still [one-hit] almost anything
You also start with Uzi you won't get much ammo for that for a while and because the ammo counter is in bar form
Good luck knowing how much you actually have there's another almost identical machine gun called the Galil Galil? will
Hold on. I have a hunch
Yup, Jesus Christ capstone
Why didn't you just go with M16 or AK-47 I wouldn't have to look those up and a flamethrower
which is awesome right? No not really I mean. It's great for killing enemies one at a time.
i Can spray a bunch of guys machine-gun fire and tell them faster than having aim with this thing it sets fires that do terrible
Terrible things to the screen and
Can hurt you?
Who thought this was a good idea?
in later levels, there are places that are on fire in sections of the level flash yellow at you. That's how fire works, right?
Capstone how do you fuck up fire? It's like the first thing humanity learned how to do
As I said before there is a grenade launcher, which is a rocket launcher
It can actually destroy the scenery and even destroy walls. I thought that was cool. You know until I walked into the sky
It's hard to aim in this I'm stuck using the keyboard I
Couldn't really do mouse aiming because while the game supports a mouse, and you can use it the game refuses to let you rebind
WAS or D properly so I'm stuck using the antiquated set up an arrow Keys control to shoot alt strafe space to use
we're going
1992 up in this bitch
This is how it used to be done
Strafe right and strafe left weren't separate buttons you hold down alt and you use the left and right arrow keys
There's bullshit, then it's bullshit now
Why can't I bind wasd well it all goes back to those AI companions promised on the box?
you can give them commands I did once but having to watch these fuckers completely ignore terrorists chasing me and
Walking into my firing line they show up on the map
So I actually use them to mark the exit when I went out to explore the level. There's pro tip for me Pal
Civvie just fucking killing
the game doesn't punish you for it and they drop armor you can keep them alive and switch to them with the a key and
Have full health, but I didn't really need to do that much
Here's the exit stairway for this level, but there are these little cylinders on the ground. What are those?
Booby-traps
They might be the worst part of this game
They might be the worst part of any game walk over one and one of two things will happen
One you'll lose all your health or two you'll lose a little health
I don't know why the explosion is so unpredictable, but guess what every exit is booby-trapped
Elevators staircases all of them and there are booby traps scattered throughout the levels on Dead bodies, too
You just try to avoid fire, and then one goes off because you nudge the corpse in the wrong way
There's another thing I couldn't figure out you can't shoot through open doors at least not an enemies
I Don't understand any of this look I'm shooting. It's hitting the glass behind him but not him
And he comes closer, and that you still can't hit him until he's through the doorway are you kidding me capstone?
I want to swatch you on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper
The levels usually go faster than in corridor 7 because I don't have to kill every terrorist rat or ceiling fan to progress
But they're a lot less interesting you can access any part of the level at any time
there's no keys or lock doors and in some levels you can turn the generator on or off and I guess doing this alerts the
Terrorists it will probably be a nice touch if it made any real difference except dimming the lights
I'm amazed. I've already come upon a game. That's fucking trashy
This is a case of complete incompetence mixed with no one giving a shit you think somebody cared about making this game?
You won't after a dozen levels or so because you've seen most of what this game [has] to offer
Those Pillars I can shoot those but not open doors
The music isn't really anything much to talk about since is the same midi music from Corridor 7 the sound no
The sound is pure suffering
you're that let's cry from the terrorists
They're not anywhere near you they [just] make those noises nearly a full volume from anywhere in the level all the time
Endlessly played this on a loop for about four hours you can replicate the experience
The guns don't sound too good either. Just ugly bit crushed shit.
Speaking of shit you can shoot terrorists on the toilet
The Ms. Painted bare legs on the doom Sprites just for that purpose
There's one boss in this game, and well. This is level 40 this is the error
I got when I tried to play through level 40 and I guess that this error was written into my save game (BC error 435 that can fuckup all save game)
So every time I loaded level 40 state kept giving me this error
But I had to look up cheats to get back to that level and start again
because I am not I am NOT playing
39 levels of the shit again
So it's either look up cheats and finish the game or get stuck in the cold room
And I mean stuck in every sense of the word there's hair that still has a thrown back
It's just another minor annoyance on top of a pile of other minor annoyances that could break through the upper atmosphere at this point
So we're here to face vincent who is an evil Terrorist guy?
Let's get this over with I'm just going to clear this room out and wait. What's happening?
God Capstone I didn't even mean to glitch the end this time
I promise look I'll go back and do it properly and kill your fearsome final boss in two seconds
He teleports away and laughs sorry operation body count but as far as I know you didn't get a sequel
You didn't need one
I think
Operation body count said everything the series needed to say and that was fuck you for playing this it looks bad
It sounds bad it hurts to play it hurts my soul
And I don't believe in souls
Capstone is one of those developers. He never heard about and with good reason he closed down in 96 obviously, but also
they're two for two on shitty First-person shooters dumb ugly
Lazy doom clones that can't even be bothered to get the basics, right?
Capstone was a shit factory, and I'm a little curious. What would happen if they were still around?
I would really like to come out of dos games for a while
I really done too, but I'm craving something in three dimensions. You know what I'm saying
request process game selected
You're not going to enjoy it. (taser device activated)
you don't know that. You don't know me fucking dick nose want to be labeled Mindscape motherfucker
== Trivia ==
== Behind the Scenes ==
Category:Episodes
Category:Season 0
Category:Capstone