Sweeney Hunt DLC

== Synopsis ==
== Sessions ==
=== Session 1: High in Highever ===
Alright alright alright let's fucking go. Sweeney hunt is here and we jump straight into it with mah boi Kingston. Mercenary, veteran (to which war? I don't fucking know.) and resident team dilf. He's out campin' with his buddy buds in the Blackstone irregulars including Luther Wiggins who brings him a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift. It's not really his birthday and the gift is not really from Luther. It's actually from Kingstons other buddy mcbudderson: Hugh D'ezio auditore de firenze (Kingston has like so many friends dude. Like 2 whole friends. Can't relate.) The book has a cryptic front page that somehow applies to Kingstons "Condition". He goes to sleep and wakes up to find the book gone. Smh can't have shit in Ferelden. The sleeping guards saw a small old guy with a beard going towards Highever so that's where he's headed.
We swiggidy switch over to Sarah (she's back duuudes) (also it might have been Albert before her I have no clue.Time is a social construct anyhow) She gets a christmas gift from Leliana herself, ms lyrium ghost, god and france on her side, bard goin' hard. So turns out Leliana has been looking into the whole "let's blow up the archon" incident and to everyones surprise, M wasn't working alone. So Sophie sets off towards Highever (Sarah might've come along too I dunno.)
Aalright, Albert. Smol child, cold, not french, the encapsulation of this vid and a liar. He breaks into the house of someone he thinks is his french daddy who bonked his mom. He finds his moms dresses there and a painting of an old man staring at the ceiling while his clothes sensually fall off. He also finds a bunch of closets which I can only assume means his dad is actually super gae. Anyway he finds something that also leads him to highever. 
Higheverrrrrrrrr! The new cool, big dicc squad arrives in highever and immediately gets some clothes for the smol shivering child who's lost his dad. However, we've already covered that the child is a liar. (the plot twist is that his french dad is gae and his real dad is actually todd howard the inventor of lies.) So the big dicc squad fuck around in Rivian, meet fergus, almost steal a dog, digs up a guitar and breaks up the healthy relationship of a widdower trying to get his life back together. :eyes: Sarah.
They find some mirror shards and some clues which leads the party towards lake calenhad. (it also turns out that Sweeney is working for someone named K and is working with Alberts french daddy who is also maybe the french daddy of Kingstons magic friend who sent him the book. 
While the big dicc family leave Highever they see some dudes and dudettes heading to the west. Maaaybe jader. Maaaybe not. 
alright that's the recapo, without further interruptions.
=== Session 2: Frolicking in the Circle ===
Since Sweeny's party seemed to be going to lake Calenhad, our party decided that the most logical choice would be to visit the circle. So off they went and on the docks they heard that the spoiled princess got a new owner and renovated so Sarah and Kingston got curious and checked it out. Inside they failed a perception check and Kingston hugged the owner out of nowhere then questioned her about her life. Not at all suspicious or creepy. 
So anyway after they finished their drinks and creeping out the owner, the party went across the lake to the circle where they were stopped by templars who were very new at their jobs at the entrance who asked them their buisness, then got Greagoir cause they were too unexperienced to know what to do. Sarah totally not suspiciously said she can explain alone out of earshot from the other two. Totes no suspicious. In Greagoir's office Sarah said she was working for Leliana and asked about Jean Pierre Polnareff who apparently was in the circle to visit his son. Kingston and Albert also found that out as they convinced the new templar to let them in to visit Kingston's friend Hugues who also happens to be Alberts brother.
Sarah reunited with the other 2 in front of Hugues' room where he was chatting with Aiden. Kingston introduced Sarah and Albert to him and then casually mentioned that Albert is Hugues' brother making things awkward. Aiden took this opportunity to ask sarah out to the garden up on the roof of the circle while Albert and Hugues were having a family reunion and Kingston was just counting templars outside (He either counted 31 of them or counted the same one 31 times). Hugues explained that his dad visited him the other day. Spent most of his time in the library and then left. Meanwhile on the roof Sarah got really curious about the sciences of magical gardens and decided to do some research about them. Aiden also suggested a dinner to which she agreed. 
Before going to the library the full party with Aiden and Hugues went to Irving to ask if Hugues could go out for an adventure with the party. Sarah convinced him and he said he'll write up a permission within a day. In the meantime the party has hit the books and after asking a mage who spends his time organising the books by the colour of the cover they learned that Albert's daddy was interested in books on ciphers. While looking for those books, Albert found another fragment of a letter to Sweeny from the mysterious K. Sarah also found some odd glyphs which Aiden recognised as blood magic, instantly a bunch of demons showed up all over the circle. 
A Revenant and a bunch of shades and rage demons showed up and a fight started. Sarah got Hugues to run and get Greagoir thinking he'd get a bunch of templars here. He only brought Greagoir. Still aside from the rage demons and the revenant the fight wasn't going too bad. But the shades were so terrible at their jobs the revenant got so annoyed he came back into the fight to do it himself. And then he died again taking the shades with him. 
Sarah spent the rest of the day researching magical gardens in the library finding something just in time before the date while Kingston spent his time interrogating Albert. Because she was almost late Sarah arrived a little underdressed but it was alright and the dinner date ended quite well with some laughs to be had, fun banter and a kiss. After the end Sarah spotted an elven servant that used to work in highever. She tried approaching but she ran away so Sarah chased after her and caught her and questioned her a bit before catching her on a few lies. Not getting anywhere with her she and Aiden tied her up and took her to the rest of the party in the circle. She suggested they used the harrowing chamber for interrogation for maximum interrogating effect. They got some trouble getting in as the templar from before found them trying to sneak in but Sarah convinced him that they're going in there on very important business. The interrogation wasn't going too well with Kingston failing badly at playing bad cop while Albert went full torturer and cut off her finger. But after some nice words from Sarah, Rachel relented and told the truth that she was a mage and a strange tall demon/darkspawn thing showed up in her dreams and she made a deal with it that she'd do whatever it wanted and the demon would teach her magic. The thing she made a deal with was on the side of Sweeny and his boss so when he showed up in Highever the thing asked to do what Sweeney asked and he asked her to watch for anyone asking questions about him and stop them. So she tried but then she got caught. Sarah suggested handing her over to the templars and went with Hugues to get Irving and Greag but then she set herself on fire and turned to ash. After a downer of a night the party went to sleep ready to go investigate some spots sweeny had hidden soldiers in, the next day.
== Session 3: TikTok commune ==
So the party checked out the thing at lake Calenhad and didn't really get much, then on their way to Gwaren they got caught in a snowstorm and needed to stay in Lothering where there was  a talent show full of cringe going on  Sarah did archery then Kingston figured it was a great idea to be stabbed so he asked Albert to do it and he did, everyone thought Albert killed Kingston so Albert grabbed the cash reward and ran into the snowstorm while a crowd of angry villagers chased him calling him a murderer. and a thief. and a liar. Aiden then got Hugues to his room and then along with Sarah got Kingston's body to the chantry. 
After a while Kingston rose from the dead and Sarah almost shot him thinking aa demon possessed his body. Apparently the dagger was enchanted so that it wouldn't kill him. If only someone could have told everyone that before the trick. Kingston went back to the inn to calm Hugues while Sophie, Sarah and Aiden tracked freezing Albert down and saved him from death from hypothermia. 
Back at the inn Kingston got mad at everyone for believing that he was dead and at Aiden and Sarah for not instantly chasing Albert, Hugues was mad at Kingston for doing the trick in the first place and Aiden was annoyed by Kingston's accusations and responded that he took care of Kingstons body first because mages are more important than (murderous) children. While Albert was thawing out Sarah noticed strange scars on his ears and the fact that said ears were very oddly shaped for a human. Also it was a new years day by then so everyone went to sleep. Next morning everyone was still in a sour mood so they ate the prize pie from the talent show before sneaking out back and going on their way to Gwaren. Also the money reward Albert stole was just chocolate coins.
== Session 4: Good ol' pal ==
The band arrived in Gwaren, a bit worse for wear in terms of getting along. They found that the city had expanded since the last time Kingston was in there, which was 30(?) years ago. Once in town the mages went ahead and found an inn to stay in for the night while the rest started going in the direction of Kingston's old house. However on their way a crowd of people moved to the docks to watch a boxing match, so instead the party went to watch that. It turned out that Kingston's friend was the one fighting against some local. Kingston's friend won but apparently the local boy had already given away the reward for the match to the leader of the local militia. Kingston agreed to help his friend get the shield that he was owed. But before going to the militia headquarters they continued on their way to Kingston's house where Kingston put flowers on the graves of his deceased family. 
After that the party went off to the militia hq, avoiding interactions with a very stupid looking guardsman, they went off to chat with their boss who was an unhelpful arse. He wouldnt give the shield back because he also won it in a bet, so Sarah suggested they bet the shield on another game which the arse agreed to at first, but then he also had information about the people Jean Pierre Polnareff was collecting all over Ferelden so Sarah pushed about that. Unhelpful as he was he wouldn't give the information away. Conveniently he forgot about making a bet and instead decided to make the party do some of his chores which was finding Hammy the Gwaren Land Hammer (Or the Nugalope for short) and catch an elven drug dealer somewhere in the alienage.
Sarah, annoyed by the behavior of the militia arse, decided that maybe his wife who she heard was good friends with the queen could get some sense into him. They tried finding her but she wasn't in her house and on their way to the school the party got stopped once again, this time by Alberts moms who recognized Albert and had a short touching reunion in the town square before Sarah accidentally blurred out one of Alberts questionable actions. This made Celeste, Albers biological mom pass out. Celeste's wife carried her to their house in the alienage continuing the reunion there.
On their way there Hammy the Nugalope was harassing Sellwynne. Sarah used her bronto-whispering magic to calm her down and grateful Sellwynne invited her for dinner saying she can invite all her companions. Then at Albert's moms place they also met Albert's gran who Kingston instantly started crushing on. Albert asked for some privacy so he could chat with his family alone and he got it. Then came in the spiciest reveals... Albert was a bad liar - we already knew that, also an elf - Sarah and Hough were suspicious that was the case last session, Jean Pierre Polnareff wasn't his dad and instead his read dad was an elf from Antiva - oh my god. Zevran. I cant believe Albert is Emily's half brother. I mean there are no other elves in Antiva that we know of. What a twist. (Also in this case Zevran was actually Melon, the only other horny elf in Antiva). After the hot tea was spilled Albert's moms asked to talk with the rest of the party. Celeste apparently knew Sweeny so they questioned her about him, sadly she didn't have much new information other than that his last name was McNugget. Also since Albert still wanted to keep going after Jean Pierre his moms asked them to promise to keep him safe which Kingston, Sophie and Sarah did. Sarah also asked what was up with Alberts ears and they found that his entire family is full of bad liars and the other secrets he kept except the Antivan elf one, it wasn't much of a deal breaker though.
After that the party got Hammy to the militia hq and got the shield for Kingston's friend which had an odd qun symbol on it. Very sus. Of course the arse kept being unhelpful and refuse to give important information to the party unless the complete the second task. So they all including Hammy cause Sarah kept her, went back to the alienage where they asked some of the armed elves who were acting as an unofficial militia for the alienage if they had a leader, said leader happened to be Albert's gran who's the alienage elder. They went back and asked her about the drug problem and she explained that it was made by an elf who came from Jader, his parents owned a toyshop which the party visited and found that he moved to study at the local school for which he got a scholarship. By then it got dark so Sarah invited everyone including albert's family to Sellwynne's place for dinner. There they met Ffion who had the coolest name and was the principal of the cooler school in town named after Genitivi of all people. Sellwynne meanwhile funded the other, expensive one named after Anora which caused some tension between the two. During the dinner they argued about student inclusion and education and Albert spit in Sellwynnes drink. Kingston had a heart to heart with Hugues, revealing that the dagger was never enchanted in the first place. Sellwynne shared his genius idea of creating a university in Gwaren which made Sarah want to write to her gran and start plans for a better university with blackjack and animals in Oswin. The party carried Kingston out of Sellwynne's and back to the inn. Along the way, Sarah got a note from Militia arsehole's wife to chat with her about Sellwynne's plans.
== Session 5: Underhanded Tactics ==
Kingston's krunked out of his gourd and he barely makes it to his bed, thankfully mommy Sarah is there to tuck this grown ass man into bed. Albert disses his not so-step not so-brother and goes to commit crimes. He steals Kingstons journal and proceeds to read the entire thing through the night, probably getting second hand ptsd in the process. 
In the morning the party heads on over to answer Karensas invitation. When they get to the mansion, a lil' lady named Nicole rushes past and drops an incriminating note. Totes not suspicious at all. They talk to Karensa and she tells the party to do the ol' switcheroo with some of Sellwynnes documents regarding the school drama in Gwaren. The party follow Nicoles note and find that the drug they're peddling are very similar to the lyrium mushrooms from season 1, you know the mushrooms that killed an entire dwarven thaig, yea those. Anyway they take the shrooms and give them to Ffion while they exchange Sellwynnes documents. Lastly the party do a drug bust in Macsons dorm and discover him with Nicole, doing the thing youngsters of the opposite sex often do when they're alone: Drugs.
And bish bash bosh, they hand Macson over to Ffion, Nicole to her mom and they search a warehouse with connections to the Sweenster. They find a note along with a piece of the mirror and a band-aid shaped bioweapon. When the party put the note pieces together, it seems to point in the direction of the Jader pit, so the party get on a boat and head there to stop Sweeney and D'ezoir from releasing Special K from the fade. 
== Session 6: Nuevo Jader ==
It's 4 am so I'm going to be writing the recap in haikus, fuck you.
>Party's in jader
>Finds the mirror in a barn
>Penis statue dad.
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>Albert goes to town
>He wants to buy some firebombs
>Shit he's got a knife
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>James Charles croissant shop
>Repair mirror lyrium
>Kingston's immortal
== Keeping up with K ==
After >Kingston's immortal bit everyone went to sleep at an inn. And the 3 out of 4 important characters (sorry Luther, Aiden and Hugues) woke up somewhere else. Albert woke up in D'Ezoire mansion where he lived his worst nightmare - Being treated as part of D'Ezoire's family with his mom being happily married to him. Hugues taught him Orlesian and after he tried lashing out he ended up locked in a group hug with him, Jean Pierre and his mom. Terrible. 
Kingston fared even worse, he found himself reliving the death of his daughter, the despair trapping him the most out of all in his nightmare. Thankfully Sarah's dream involved Leliana asking to interrogate her mother about use of blood magic which made her go "wait a second somethings off" she then looked out the window and spotted the Black city hanging overhead, and the dream fizzled away with one chant quote. She then found herself in a very dark place with lots of odd carpets. She stepped into one without thinking and got teleported into Alberts Nightmare witnessing the horrible sight of a family hug. She told him he was in the fade and he realized something was off. Sarah asked Alberts "mom" what form of spirit she was and a shade claw missed her while Celeste dissapeared. Albert then punched JP one last time before it all fizzled out and both of them found themselves back in the dark place. 
They tried entering Kingston's carpet but his sadness was too much and the carpet disappeared instead. Sarah then stepped on the last of them and felt an odd surge of emotions. With no kingston in sight the duo went searching the fade finding a qunari woman being curled up in a clearing. After not so well of a first impression (due to Albert) Sarah calmed the situation down and started to chat. The qunari girls name Kubride, she was a saarebas and a friend of Marojan, in spite of being in their organisation she didnt know much about their plans, but when M died she became their leader, then a mysterious old being, same one who contacted Rachel saved her and put her in the fade to wait for his orders. While albert was ready to attack her, Sarah managed to convince her that the being that put her in the fade was planning to use her just like Rachel, and that instead she should work against it. And also help them find Kingston. Kubride agreed and said its best to wait for Sweeny who appeared not soon after opening a protal into the fade from an eluvian like its nobody's business, getting them out, then opening one for kingston where Albert and Sarah got to see what terrible state he was in. They convinced him that he was in the fade and reliving a terrible memory. With Kingston saved the party woke up. 
Upon waking up they found themselves in Albert's worst nightmare again - another group hug. Then Sweeny and Kubride got out of the Eluvian and chaos ensued. Kingston wanted the book, Albert wanted Jean Pierre, Sarah needed Sweeny and K to come with her to Leliana, After some intimidation Sweeny gave up the book and showed that he and Jean Pierre were the same person. Fs in the chat for Celeste, Hugues, and Hugues mother. Then Sweeny tried escaping again hurting Sophie in the process. This action made breaking his legs so he would come quietly with them a mercy. Kubride was kinda distraught by the whole thing but agreed to come with. 
Back in Val Royeoux, Sarah led everyone to Leliana, told her the deal with Sweeny and JP and introduced Kubride to her offering that she could work with Leliana. Sweeny was taken away to a special cell, Kubride agreed to tell her story and work with Leliana and Kingston and Luther got paid for their work by getting D'Ezoire's estate. Sarah offered Albert to maybe use her contacts to find his real dad. He shared that it was Melon and Sarah gave her condolences. Albert decided to stay with Kingston and become a mercenary, oh and Sarah after reading through Kingstons journal found that he may be her great great grandpa. 
The End... Until Sweeny runs away again with his wall hacks.