All 11.1 - The Curse

Ryuji and Caitlyn sat on the floor of his room, leaning heavily on the side of the bed and each other. The air was heavy with silence and the smell of blood. Ryuji thought idly that the smell should probably be bothering him, but he couldn’t really notice anything. He couldn’t focus long enough to care. So much had happened so quickly, that he couldn’t bring himself to think about anything clearly. He vaguely noticed that Caitlyn was playing with his hair. As she slowly fell asleep, her hand dropped to his shirt button, then his hand, before her eyes finally closed fully. He just continued to stare forward, unable to think straight, unable to fall asleep. He wished he could; he was mentally exhausted and would relish the respite of unconsciousness, but his body was completely awake. It’s nice, he supposed, compared to how I felt a few hours ago. He vaguely considered that, while he was freezing and coughing, he might have thought that death would have been better. The black irony of it made him violently uncomfortable, and he shoved the thought away.
He sat motionless for a long time. Random thoughts came and went, and any that tried to gain purchase in his mind were banished forcibly. He could feel something different about his teeth, his sight, his whole body, but he pointedly ignored everything. A few times he noticed that he had been holding his breath, with no discomfort and no way to tell how long he had been holding it; he immediately started again, trying not to think about it, trying to think about anything else, but the other things that were coming to mind were often no better.
He felt Caitlyn shiver beside him and he immediately panicked, terrified that she had fallen to the illness again. She indeed looked cold, but it took him a minute to realize that it wasn’t illness that was causing her to shake. ...I am… With a remorseful, sinking sort of feeling, he softly pulled himself away, trying not to wake her. He took one of the several blankets that were heaped upon the bed and laid it gently on her before moving further away. Now that he was up, he looked about the room, surveying the carnage. He began collecting the soiled towels and tent, wrapping them up to minimize the visible gore. Everything in his head seemed disconnected, and he methodically went about the task of folding and collecting. He tried wiping up the stray blood that had made it to the floor, but the matting had absorbed it rather well; he’d have to use a cleaner, or magic, or replace it. He gave up rather quickly. It was a task for later.
As he cleaned, he noticed the blood on his sleeve; when he finished, he inspected his clothes more closely. Everything he wore was stiff with dried blood, his hands were brown with it, and he could feel it in his hair and on his back. It wasn’t worth trying to save; he decided to just throw everything out with the rest. He glanced to Caitlyn, still sleeping. Even if she didn’t wake up, it wasn’t right to change in front of her, and he had to shower anyway. He gathered some clean clothes, stopping and looking at each article for a while before actually making a selection, but at the same time, never really thinking about what he was picking. With an outfit in hand, he went to the door, pausing at the threshold. He stopped and leaned forward, resting his forehead on the door, listening for signs of movement. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. What would they say? What would I say to them? He couldn’t bring himself to answer either question. Eventually deciding that the hall was empty, he stole quietly out and down the hall to the bathroom.
He absently turned the water on, letting it run for a minute to get warm. He puttered about, losing himself in the mundanity of the task, like the cleaning, and the selection of a shirt. He placed his hand into the stream to check its temperature, like always, but was met with a terribly familiar yet unexpected pain. Hissing sharply, but managing to keep from crying out, he jolted his hand out of the burning water and shook his hand, holding it. He reduced the hot water drastically before testing it again, wondering how it had gotten that hot to begin with. He kept adjusting it until it felt reasonable, which he realized was the point where he had turned off the hot water altogether. A look of vague concern and morbid curiosity coloured his face as he moved his hand about in the pouring water. It should be freezing. It feels fine. He looked at it for a few more silent seconds before shaking his head. It feels fine, that’s all that matters; he shoved the thought away like the others.
He stood in the shower, letting the water wash away the sweat, blood and tears of the evening. He focused on the sound of the water, the soap, the dried flecks of brown that needed to be scrubbed away. He still couldn’t hold on to any thoughts. He got out when he considered that Caitlyn might wake up; it would probably be disconcerting to wake up on a strange floor alone, and at the very least, she would want the shower.
Turning off the tap and stepping out, he half-heartedly dried off before stopping and leaning straight-armed on the sink, lost in a murky cloud of half-formed thoughts. There was a mirror in front of him, but he kept his head bowed. There was nothing particularly stopping him from looking at it, but at the same time, he didn’t want to look at it at all. He stood there for a while, unsuccessfully trying to gain some purchase on his mind. Eventually he straightened up, though his eyes were still closed. He inhaled deeply, then looked at his reflection. He exhaled almost immediately, relieved that he really did not look altogether different. He realized vaguely that he had been worrying that he might not appear at all; I’m pretty sure lots of un… He mentally choked on the word and shoved it away, focusing on his face. Hands are the same. Body is the same. He picked through each feature in turn, scrutinizing it. Eyes are the same. Nose is the same. Chin is the same. Mouth… He sighed and steeled himself again before leaning in towards the mirror. Going to have to look eventually... he resigned himself as he investigated his teeth properly. His canines were indeed different: a bit longer and much sharper than they were before. Feeling them with his finger and tongue, he idly considered that he would have to be rather careful not to bite himself. He moved his lips around, trying to see how hard it would be to see them when he talked; he wasn’t particularly satisfied with the results. If anyone is halfway paying attention... He dropped the thought, unwilling to continue it. He turned back to the reflection. I think I’m a bit paler. A lot paler? No, I don’t think I’m too much paler. Maybe it’s just because I was ill? Maybe it’s the lighting? His gaze fell on his hair. Hair is the... he stopped his thought as he noticed something strange. Shiny? He leaned in and turned about, letting the light play off of him. Why is my hair shiny? Was it shiny before? He reached up to touch it, and was met with a strange feeling. His hair was hard. What is… he pinched a strand as he wondered, and he could feel and hear something snap with a faint tinkling noise. Looking down at his hand, he saw a few clear, crystalline shards that had broken away. Ice. He looked closer, and gingerly dragged his hand over his head. It was ice. He hadn’t dried his hair when he got out of the shower, and it had frozen solid. A single, short laugh came out of his mouth unbidden, followed by a second, and a third. He was covered in ice, he realized; all of the water that he hadn’t wiped away had frozen to him as little droplets of crystal. He hadn’t even noticed. Running his fingers over his hair once more, he suddenly leaned forward and vigorously shook both hands through it, breaking up the ice and sending the pieces flying in a cacophony of clinks as it hit the floor, sink and counter. It was so strange, almost whimsical, and between it and the stress, he couldn’t help but laugh to himself.
Freshly dressed, he returned to his room to find Caitlyn still sleeping. Without much else to do, he gathered up the blood-stained trash in a bag and took it outside. It's Shevat...no, Adar first, now. It’s well past midnight. Snow was piled up on roofs and curbs, and the wind blew fiercely in the dead of the winter night. Ryuji had put on a coat but hadn’t bothered with anything else: he was only going to be outside for a minute or two. As he stepped outside and shut the door noiselessly behind him, he paused. The air felt pleasant, like stepping outside on a summer night. There was wind, yes, but it wasn’t the biting cold gusts he expected from winter. He stood on the step for a minute, contemplating the sensation. He was again consumed by morbid curiosity. It just didn’t make any sense. It should be cold; it should be freezing. But it’s not. He shook his head, bringing him out of his revere, and he disposed of the garbage, getting rid of the evidence of the dark exchange of events before returning indoors. He noted vaguely that, comparatively speaking, the house was kind of stuffy and warm. This bodes poorly for summer... he thought idly, before looking in the kitchen for anything that might be useful in cleaning blood.
Caitlyn woke up a few hours before dawn, stiff and groggy. Ryuji was sitting in the now-mostly clean room; the air smelled of disinfectant. She frowned exhaustedly at her state, still covered in blood. With few words, she walked down the hall to get cleaned up. Standing in the shower with her clothes still on, she let the hot water wash away the crusted blood. Ryuji cleaned the last of the stains from the floor.
She returned to the bedroom, clean and magically dry. The exhaustion was clear on her face; she muttered that she was going home. “Let me walk you,” Ryuji offered, “It’s not really safe for a lady to walk around this late alone.” She looked at him, and without speaking, they both knew that safety wasn’t the point.
“...Ok,” she agreed.
The two walked down the street in silence. It wasn’t a long trip at all, and in less than ten minutes, Caitlyn stood in front of her house. She turned to Ryuji and looked at him for a few seconds, exhausted and at a loss. “Goodnight,” she said finally.
“Goodnight,” he replied. She turned and walked inside, leaving him standing in the street. He looked around. He wasn’t tired, still, and didn’t really have any reason to go straight home, so he began to amble mindlessly away. The streets were empty, lit faintly by lamps that dotted the curb. He shuffled through the snow, kicking it about. He noticed with faint amusement the oddity of his senses: the weather was nice, and the night seemed almost bright. Regardless of how dark the shadows were, he could see everything just as clearly as if it were light, though without any colour. Everything in the darkness had a slivery, monochrome tint, like a photograph.
He wandered around the streets, eventually ending up near the outskirts of town, down by the riverbank. He always liked it by the river; Nara City was riddled with canals, and the sound and smell of water reminded him of home. It was frozen over now, and the untouched snow on its solid surface formed a white ribbon that wound its way through the rolling banks. He walked alongside it for a while. I wonder if it’s solid enough to stand on? He paused. I shouldn’t; it’s probably not safe. … He snorted to himself. I can’t feel cold, apparently. I...don’t think I have to breathe. What’s the worst that could possibly happen? he asked himself as he stepped through the knee-deep snow. I get wet. Maybe I could freeze underwater? Would I die? Or would they chip me out in the spring and I’d just walk away? That would make the news. He stopped mid-stride as he realized, What would they do? The police...the wizard council...no one would just let something like that walk around… “Gah!” His one planted foot slipped out from under him and he skidded down the bank, landing gracelessly in the snow on the frozen river, which apparently was indeed solid enough for his weight. He didn’t get up immediately however, too taken aback by his thoughts. No one can know. No one will trust me. I wouldn’t trust me. What if people find out? What will they do? People won’t hire me...won’t want me around… he realized with escalating dread, ...people will kill me… No, no no no, that’s not, the church won’t, they can’t, I’m not a… He froze as he pictured the fear and desperation of the Ahpkalawok villagers who had lost loved ones to a spirit’s hunger. The soulless eyes of the vampire he had cut down without a second thought, as it tried to do the same to him. The present, and slowly growing, feeling of hunger in his stomach. He whispered softly, “...but how long until I am?”
He lay for a few minutes in the snow before sitting up. It was strange, the feeling of snow that wasn’t cold and didn’t melt on your skin, but he was too distracted to really notice. He looked up, and noticed that the sun was just beginning to rise. Habitually, he started his morning prayers, but paused a few words in. What if even God had...no! No no, he yelled at himself internally. God doesn’t abandon people. People can abandon God, but He doesn’t turn away from His people! A thought hovered at the edge of his mind: the knowledge that undead were, at no point, considered people, let alone consecrated to God. He grit his teeth, clenching his fists, eyes and lips. It doesn’t matter! I have faith! I will not lose it, or falter in it, and God won’t cast me away. He returned to his prayers with grave seriousness. 
He finished his normal morning ritual, but carried on to another. He recited several different verses, some normally reserved for holidays, before continuing on to recite from memory passages from the holy book. When he finished, he looked at his hands for a long minute. “...Please…” he quietly implored. Closing his eyes, he muttered the prayer that let him channel god’s healing gift. Trembling a little, he opened his eyes, and was flooded with relief when he saw that they glowed slightly, holding the blessing that waiting to be transferred, ridding a person of a wound. “Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you,” he repeated, closing his eyes and leaning forward, a weight lifted from him. He folded his hands and brought them in towards himself, not particularly thinking about it; the channeled energy was usually a warm, pleasant feeling, like an embrace, that Ryuji knew well. This time, when his hands touched his chest and the energy was dispensed, it was the most brutally painful thing that he had ever experienced. It was as though the magic was trying to tear apart his body. He cried out in shock and pain, pitching forward. He curled up into a ball, hugging his knees; even though the sensation passed quickly and left no physical injury, he knew he was hurt badly. He could feel the weakness of harm, even if he couldn’t feel the pain of wounding; in its place, a sharper, more insistent hunger had grown. The sting of his thoughts, however, were much worse. He clutched his legs tightly, tears forming in his eyes as he grit his teeth. He could still act as a hand of God, and dispense His blessings. Those blessings were not for him.
Ryuji staggered back into his house a little after dawn, looking very pale, tired, and covered in snow. Luckily, no one else was up yet. He took off his coat and things, passively upset at how muggy the house felt. Wandering into the kitchen, he half-heartedly tried to find something that he could eat, but found the smell of foods sickening somehow, like everything was a bit off. Anything he put in his mouth, even water, ranged from tasting like rot to tasting like ash, and he couldn’t bring himself to swallow. Despite his hunger, he left the kitchen and returned to his room, closing the door. He knew he wouldn’t be able to eat normally. He wouldn’t consider the alternative. He fell heavily onto his bed, and quickly covered himself in blankets, not wanting to face the world. Maybe he would just never leave his room again.
----
Caitlyn woke up in her room. A groggy glance outside informed her it was midday; she had slept away the morning. She was still tired, less so physically than mentally. Going about her morning, she ate some brunch and got dressed, taking her time with each individual task, her mind blank. Some time later, she put on her coat and shoes, and wandered down the street, back to Ryuji’s house. Knocking at the front got no answer, but the door was unlocked so she let herself in. She walked down empty halls to Ryuji’s room, hearing no one; everyone must be out. Knocking lightly on Ryuji’s door, she heard a muffled reply, “Yes?”
“It’s me.”
“Oh...you can come in…” She opened the door; the room was clean, with a vague smell of disinfectant. The way the blankets were piled up on top of the bed suggested that Ryuji was under them. Caitlyn came in and stood nearby.
After a minute of silence, Caitlyn offered, “That was a terrible night.”
“Yeah.”
“How are you?”
“...I have no idea how to answer that…” his voice was sad, drifting out from under layers of comforter. She came and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. He stayed hidden under the blankets.
“Well, you’re not dead,” she offered.
There was a lengthy pause before he muttered, “That’s not what it looks like.”
“It looks like you’re up and moving and not buried six feet under.”
“...I keep forgetting to breathe.”
“Well, don’t do that. Breathing is important.”
There was a bitterness in his voice when he replied, “Not as much as it used to be, apparently.” Both people sat quietly for a minute before he asked, “What time is it?”
“Probably about three.”
“Oh,” he said passively. “...I haven’t moved in about 9 hours...I haven’t moved, but I can’t sleep...I’ve just been lying here. I can’t sleep anymore.”
“Are you tired?”
“...No. Not...really.”
“I could put you to sleep. Would you like me to?”
“That...could be nice,” he seemed unsure.
“Well, you have to look at me for it to work.”
There was a slight pause before Ryuji peeked out from behind the covers. Caitlyn mentally noted that he didn’t look any different than before, though maybe he looked a bit pale. She looked into his eyes for a second before casting Sleep. He didn’t even blink. Quietly, he replied, “I suppose that doesn’t work either.” He looked downcast.
Caitlyn bit her lip and looked away. “Stupid fey curses. They’re the worst.”
“Is that what this now?” he muttered.
“Yeah...it’s a stupid fey curse, and we’ll find a way to remove it, and everything will be fine.”
“...What if we can’t…?” he whispered.
“We will. Of course we will.”
Ryuji looked miserable as he said, “Caitlyn...I’m already dead. I think if you remove it, I’ll just...”
“No!” she yelled, punching him through the blankets. “No no no, you’re wrong! You’re not dead, don’t say that!” Ryuji didn’t say anything, but turned away. “Don’t say that!” she repeated, looking at him with anger and sadness. She held her gaze for a moment, then flopped over to half lay on top of him. “Don’t say that…” she whispered hoarsely. Ryuji looked torn, somewhere between concern for Caitlyn and shame for himself. He reached out from under the blankets to comfort her, putting his arm around her shoulder and back. Caitlyn could feel a chill through her shirt. “...You’re cold…” she muttered.
Ryuji pulled his hand away quickly, “I’m sorry, I…”
“Don’t stop,” Caitlyn cut him off. He hesitantly put his arm back where it was, gently stroking Caitlyn’s shoulder.
“...How are you feeling?” Ryuji asked.
“I’m fine,” Caitlyn replied quietly. “How are you feeling?”
“I...guess I’m feeling better than I did yesterday. I'm not sick anymore.”
“That’s good.”
“I guess.” They were quiet for a minute; the silence was broken by Ryuji. “I can’t feel cold at all, apparently. Everything’s wrong. Things that should be warm are burning hot, and things that should be cold feel normal. I guess it’s because I’m cold.”
“Do you want more blankets?”
Ryuji made a face, “No, I...I don’t know, I can’t feel cold, but I am cold. The whole house feels too warm, but it’s fine under the blankets, because I think I’m making it cold. I don’t know.” He looked frustrated and pained as he continued, “Temperature is all wrong, I can’t sleep, I have to think about breathing, and I can’t eat.”
“You should eat, even if you don’t feel hungry. Do you want me to get something?”
“I never said I wasn’t hungry,” he said, increasingly upset. “I can’t eat though. Everything tastes rotten, or like ash. I can’t swallow anything. I can’t eat food.” Caitlyn lay quietly as Ryuji retreated back under the covers, balling himself up and pulling at his hair. They stayed like that for a few minutes, the silence heavy, until Ryuji, barely audible, whispered hoarsely, slowly at first, “I am afraid. I’m afraid of what I am, and that you smell like food. Not...actually, not a real smell, but like food, like...like a bakery. A warm smell that makes you hungry.” Panic laced his voice, becoming more frantic and picking up speed as he continued, “I’m hungry, and I can’t eat food, and you’re making me hungry. How long until I lose my mind completely? How long do I have until I’m no better than the thing that I killed?”
“You’re not! Don’t think that. You just have to eat something, and you’ll feel better.” Ryuji didn’t respond, so she continued, “What about rats or something? Or rabbits? Rabbits are normal.”
“I don’t want to kill things.”
“Well, they have to be killed by someone,” she argued. “Wait here, I’ll go get a rabbit and come back.”
Ryuji stayed curled up and muttered, “It’s not like I can go much of anywhere…”
Caitlyn came back a while later, with a rabbit in a small wire cage. She took it into Ryuji’s room, where the man hadn’t moved an inch. “Alright, here you go.” She nudged him a few times, “Get up, come on.”
He sat up and looked morosely at the animal. “How...I don’t even…” he was confused. “I don’t even know what…”
“It’s its blood, right? Drink its blood,” Caitlyn explained.
Ryuji looked a tad green, “I…” He was at a loss.
“Does it smell like food?”
“Ummn,” he looked skeptical. “I guess? Kind of like...kale? A salad smell? It doesn't really smell appetizing, but not bad or anything.”
“Well, there you go. Food is food.” When he didn’t move, she sighed, “Ugh, here.” She took the rabbit downstairs. In the kitchen, she managed to slaughter and drain the rabbit’s blood into a bowl; after quickly cleaning the body and leaving the meat to be cooked, she returned to Ryuji. Offering him the bowl, she turned around so that she wasn’t staring at him.
Still looking unsure and off-put, he smelled the blood. Tentatively, he stuck his finger in it and put it in his mouth, then sipped a bit of it. He wrinkled his nose, “Gehh.”
“Well?”
“It’s...well, it doesn’t taste bad, like everything else, which is disturbing enough, but it’s...wrong? Old. It tastes off, like it’s too old.” He made a sidelong look as he mumbled, “It probably has to be alive…”
Caitlyn rolled her eyes, “I’ll go get another rabbit,” and left before Ryuji could say anything.
With a second rabbit in hand, Caitlyn returned. She handed it over to him, and he looked at it in confusion. “I don’t...what am I even supposed to do, just bite it? It’s all fur.”
“Just come on,” she said.
“I’m sorry I’m in no rush to throw away the last of my humanity!” He sighed, “I guess, I don’t know, do I knock it out or something?”
She rolled her eyes. Sharply knocking the rabbit with a blunt object stunned it, and she passed it to Ryuji, again turning away for privacy’s sake. He looked miserable, but still took the rabbit and bit into its neck with his now-sharp fangs, draining the blood from it like wine from a skein.
When he finished, Caitlyn turned back around. His expression was still miserable, but he had a bit more colour in his face than earlier. “Feel better?”
“...I guess. Less hungry. Less hurt.”
“Hurt?”
“I...had an accident earlier.”
“You look better now,” she said as she took the drained corpse away. “That wasn’t so bad, right? I eat rabbits all the time.”
“You don’t drink their blood.”
She shrugged, “Meat, blood, what’s the difference?” He made a wry look, and she took his hand. It didn’t feel quite as cold as earlier.
“...I’m sorry I’m not exactly handling this admirably,” Ryuji apologized.
“It’s a lot to handle,” she said.
“At least you’re alright,” he said, stroking her hand with his thumb.
“Yeah, I’m alright, and so are you,” she said pointedly. His face fell, and he looked away. Emotion welled up in Caitlyn again, and she punched him in the chest. “You’re alright too!” she said, voice shaking.
He snorted softly. “I can’t feel pain either,” he said quietly.
“Rrg!!” she was on the verge of tears. “Stupid, stupid,” she repeated, punching him with each word, quickly and sharply. She would have kept on hitting him if he hadn’t reached out and pinned her against the bed in a sort of hug.
He held her there for a few long seconds before pulling back, muttering, “I’m sorry, that’s probably really cold…” She grabbed his elbow and held it, so he sat back with Caitlyn cuddling his arm. He looked at her for a few seconds before saying, “...You do smell kind of like a bakery, though.”
“That’s good. Bakeries smell nice,” she replied.
“Yeah. It’s...warm, and comforting,” he added. They lay quietly for a few minutes before Ryuji gave a small chuckle, “Well, I guess if I eventually go back to work, I’ll catch up quickly, seeing as how I don’t sleep.”
“See?” Caitlyn said sleepily, “You’re a fast-rising star.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to. I can’t go out.”
“Why not?”
“People can’t find out. People...won’t just let me walk around.”
“Why would they find out? You look the same.”
“I have fangs,” he said with some incredulity. Caitlyn leaned up and looked pointedly at his face until he rolled his eyes and pulled his lips back, revealing his inhumanly-sharp teeth.
“You can barely see those,” she said, laying back down.
“Maybe if you were blind…”
“So what, you want fake teeth? That will make you feel better? That’s not hard.” She yawned, mumbling, “So you’re a bit cold, and you don’t sleep. That’s not too bad.” Ryuji didn’t reply.
The two lay quietly in Ryuji’s bed. After a few minutes, she nudged him hard in the chest. “What?” he asked.
“You aren’t breathing.”
“Oh…I...just stop, if I’m not thinking about it, I guess.”
Caitlyn made a ‘hrm’ noise. She moved her hand onto Ryuji’s chest. “You should remember.” As she slowly fell asleep, she noticed that he didn’t have a heartbeat. She decided not to mention it.
A while later, Caitlyn woke up quickly. She sat up, realizing that it was getting close to dinner hour. “Do you need anything else? More rabbits or anything?” she asked.
“Oh...no, I don’t think so,” Ryuji replied.
“I’ll come back tomorrow morning with one then. It’s a good thing I own a rabbit farm,” she said with all seriousness. He gave her a small half-smile, knowing that it was a somewhat silly lie. She stood up, “I guess I’ll cook those rabbits then. You have stuff in the kitchen, right?”
“Yes, there should be things in there, though I don’t know exactly what.”
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow then...unless you’re feeling well enough to come downstairs?”
He looked sheepish, “Well, I guess there’s really no reason to stay up here when…nyah!” He wasn’t allowed to finish before Caitlyn grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him out of bed, dragging him downstairs with her. The two stayed in the kitchen as Caitlyn made stew out of the two rabbits, making small talk and avoiding any conversation regarding the recent events. Later, as Ryuji’s housemates ate stew and Caitlyn was leaving, Ryuji said, as she put on her coat, “Thank you. Thank you for everything. I don’t know as I deserve it, but…”
“Shut up,” she cut him off. “You’d have done the same for me.” She smiled, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, ok?”
“O...okay,” he agreed.
----
The next day saw the afternoon weather grey and cloudy, with more than a little snow falling. Lucca trudged through the rapidly-accumulating drifts in his rubber boots, meandering over to the part of town where Caitlyn and Ryuji lived; his intent was to see the latter. He had spent the previous day in the library, trying to learn some general facts about undead while simultaneously purging thoughts about the ill-fated evening out of his head. He tromped up the front steps and banged on the door. There was no answer, but he wasn't particularly surprised: most people would be at work or school right now. Apparently this held true for Ryuji's roommates. The door wasn't locked, however, so either someone was home, or they had very lax security.
Letting himself in, he automatically kicked off his boots in the doorway and paused to shake the snow from his coat before wandering a short ways into the house. After poking around for a few moments, and finding no sign of anyone, he frowned and cupped his hands to his mouth, hollering, "Oi! Ryu-dude, you home?"
Lucca heard a door open and some movement from upstairs. "Yes?" Ryuji replied, as though the question was silly. The Yetoman looked down the stairs and saw Lucca peeking around from the kitchen. "...Do you usually just come into people's houses?"
"Mmmmmh, I dunno, sometimes? It depends?", the druid offered with an ambiguous shrug, adding as he drifted over to the foot of the stairs, "Probably wanna start locking your door if you're not down with people doin' that sorta thing?"
"I keep telling Sean to lock it when he leaves, and he never does..." Ryuji muttered, half to himself.
"Anyway, I was over at the library, and figured I'd swing by, see how you're makin' out after the other night, ya know?" He cast a scrutinizing gaze over the other man as he spoke. Ryuji twitched a little under the eyes of the other man.
"I'm...ugh. I don't know. Nothing. I'm not...terrible. I'm not fine. I don't even know." He looked surly and upset, frustrated at his lack of ability to describe his emotion. He made a resigned gesture. 
"Somewhere between terrible and fine actually sounds pretty decent, all things considered." Lucca offered helpfully.
"Thank you for checking on me, but I'm not good conversation right now." Ryuji turned and started to retreat back to his room. "You can come up if you want, but don't feel like you have to." He added, his tone somewhat bitter, "It's too warm out here."
A faint scowl crossed Lucca's face when the other man turned to leave, and he was already moving to trot up the stairs after him before he had received any sort of invitation. "Yeah well, I didn't come looking for good conversation...but I wouldn't mind having a chat anyways. Oh, and I brought you a couple books."
Ryuji returned to his room, with Lucca not far behind. The bedroom window was open, and it felt about the same temperature inside as it was out. "Could you close the door and move that blanket back? I don't want to freeze out my housemates, but it's too muggy otherwise." He angled the chair at his writing desk so that he faced into the room and sat down heavily. He didn't make any particular effort at eye contact as he gestured at the bed, "You can sit on the bed if you want."
"Shit, dude..." he muttered with a look of mild perturbation as he did as was asked, silently grateful he hadn't taken off his coat. He moved to take a seat on the bed, dropping his bag on the floor and rummaging through it. "So, I'll be honest, I ain't got no clue how much you know about this sorta shit, I assume some? But I didn't know jack about it before we got sent up to the Ahpkalawok...but this whole thing is pretty fucked, so I figured some reading would be in order...anyway, here." He produced a pair of books from his bag, and held them out to Ryuji, "'Cause I figure you probably don't much wanna listen to me ramble, if you could just read yourself, eh? Or maybe its entirely redundant and you've already got it covered, I dunno." He finished with a shrug.
Taking the books with a sort of glazed, dispassionate look, he skimmed the titles and flipped through a few pages before placing them on the desk behind him. "Thanks," he said. He sat quietly for a minute before he muttered. "I don't know. I thought I knew about undead. But if you asked me a few days ago, I would have told you that they were soulless, abortive monstrosities; mockeries of everything good in God's creation. So maybe I don't really know anything, or maybe I do." He sighed, "Doesn't matter. I know I don't know anything about any undead that are freezing cold."
Lucca made a face at this, "That's a bit harsh, ain't it? If I can give you a pro-tip, I'd advise you shelve that sorta judgement till you've felt it out a bit more, ya know? Just sayin'." Continuing, he brightened a bit, "The cold thing is pretty simple though, I think. Your shit is fey-based, hands-down and full-stop, and you know how the fey are...they don't give one lonely fuck about rules, they do what they want. Anyhow, when I was talking with the harlequin jackass, back when we were trying to figure out a way to fix this shit for you, he had this little ice crown he was tossing around," As he spoke, he guestured rather animatedly, miming the creature's ridiculous finger puppetry, "...so your curse is some sort of ice-king fey shenanigans, you dig? And then, clearly that ice-shithole-maze-thing was in a place where the borders between the spirit world and ours get thin, that's how it kept slipping through over and over, yeah? And so I mean, it makes pretty good sense, in my opinion, that something with an ice curse or whatever would end up out there, cause like, what kinda thing would be better suited to hang out in the middle of the fucking tundra than something that is all about being cold? Anyway, point is, the cold bit is 'cause its a fey thing, and fey don't give no shits about nobody's rules." He finished with a firm nod.
As Lucca continued on, Ryuji's expression finally managed to lose its depressed veneer; it was replaced by growing confusion, but it still seemed like an improvement. When the druid gave his nod of finality, Ryuji continued to look at him in absolute befuddlement. "There are...so many things that you just said that make no sense. I'll just go ahead and list them: One," he gestured, "Caitlyn mentioned it was a fey curse too. What do fey have to do with undead, and why does everyone else seem to know about what sort of curse this is? Or are you all just guessing? Two, who is the harlequin? Three, who is the ice king fey? Four, what's the spirit world? Five, is that maze somehow linked to this? Because honestly I've been worried that I'm going to have to go back and live there or something and I really don't want to think about that. And sure, while we're at it, six, how can all of these completely improbable things keep happening, and why am I apparently the only one who has no context for any of it?!" The last sentence had the extra emphasis of outrage.
As the other man's list grew, the druid began to look perplexed as well, "Oooookay, hold up. You're not following some of that, I get; you were pretty fucked up while the harlequin was here and whatnot, shit like that...I can answer that shit for you in a sec....buuuuttt....points five and six...." he paused, still eyeing the man almost warily, "...the legend? Omulde Iarna? The one I'm assuming Caitlyn told you on our way up to Ahpkalawok in the first place....?...She did tell you, right?"
Ryuji sat looking highly unimpressed. "...No. No, I was not told anything about a legend. Or an 'omulde iarna', whatever that is; I'm guessing a fey-undeath curse. Like I wasn't told about the depths of the devil conspiracy. Or about the fact that you're planning a sting operation on one of Asanon's most dangerous criminals, which I only heard about because it happened to come up in conversation with someone else entirely and I was probably going to get dragged there too, and God only knows what he's doing, he's an insane alchemist, but you all probably already know and just haven't decided to tell me yet; God, I'm not going anywhere with you people again, terrible things happen and you all know about it and you tell me nothing, I just get dragged along for reasons I don't get to know, and then I get told after the fact that you all knew there was a curse, so what, you just weren't going to tell me ever and decided at the last minute that you felt bad that I was going to die, or you just assumed 'oh hey, there's a curse; let's get a patsy who doesn't know any better and we'll see if it's true', and let me take the fall, when I'm not even a part of your stupid organization, I'm just trying to pass the bar so I can go home, and now I can't go home because I'm dead! Gahh!" Ryuji managed to ramble off the entire sentence without pausing for breath, which may have been a function of either his frustration or his undeath. He pulled at his bangs, pushing the heel of his hand into his forehead, expression extremely aggrivated, making soft growling noises. 
It was a few moments before Lucca offered a response, choosing his words carefully, "...we didn't know there was a curse, honestly, until after the fact; until you were sick and we were trying to figure out a way to fix it. In retrospect, there were some solid hints, but they didn't really fall into place until we went looking for more info after you got sick...talked to the Ahpkalawok elder, thought to call up the harlequin...before that, we didn't really know...we probablyshould have picked up on some of it before hand, but we didn't...we fucked up bad there...and for that, I'm sorry." he paused with a heavy sigh, before adding, "I know not a damn lick of that makes things any better, but it's the truth...nobody was intentionally trying to keep you in the dark or get you a curse, we just fucked up, royally. So sorry, dude." His expression darkened slightly as he added, muttering largely to himself "And I don't know jack-all about a sting on any insane alchemists. I mean, Caitlyn might have mentioned some dumbass idea like that all of once...I think? But I aint never agreed to go fucking around with that guy...that shit's got stupid written all over it."
As Lucca spoke, Ryuji eventually looked up and regarded him with a dispassionate, somewhat disconsolate stare, until he began talking about the alchemist. When he finished, a small grin played about Ryuji's lips that turned into a slow chuckle, which almost developed into laughter. "Heh heh heh, well, I guess that's ok then. It's not just me," he said between laughs, "None of you tell anybody anything, do you? Caitlyn has apparently been planning this for weeks, with the Council of Arcana. I don't know the final plan, because they haven't told her, but I know that we're involved and it's taking place three days from now." He chuckled, "At least you got a few days, and didn't have someone shove you out the door without any warning."
"...The actual fuck!?" The expression on the druid's face was one of bewildered indignation, "You've gotta be fucking kidding me! Like...actually!....WHY!? Why would we want to even do that!? Why the motherfucking wizards!? WHY? I just...rrrrrghh...!" He trailed off with a growl and rubbed at his face, then threw up his hands, "Whatever...whatever! I'll talk to her later or some shit...augh!"
Ryuji continued to chuckle. "Glad I'm not the only one who has no idea what's going on," he added. Pushing his bangs back, he said, "Well, I don't know anything else to tell you, other than that. He'll be at some sort of Underdark portal in three days, and we're supposed to catch him." He exhaled heavily through his nose, "Alright, let's go back. Fey curse, harlequin, ice king, spirit world."
Still grumbling moodily under his breath, Lucca heaved a melodramatic sigh before responding, "Yes, alright...kay...spirit world is where the fey and shit are at; Etheria, yeah?"
"...Alright, so it's just another name for Limbo, the space between Heaven and Hell." 
Lucca continued, "The harlequin motherfucker is this punk-ass fey bastard that was following me around for a bit, being a prick. Does this weird little mime-bullshit-finger puppet thing; thinks he's real funny, needs a punch in the nuts. But he's actually pretty fuckin powerful, seems to know a lot of shit about most things, and whatnot...I had to call the fucker up to find out what the hell sorta curse you had goin' on and how to pull it offa you." As he spoke, his tone became increasingly irate, "and now I owe the son of a bitch something and...rrrgh!" With a hard shake of his head, he switched topics, "Anyway, he said that he couldn't break the curse, but that we could move it around with the killing and the Breath of Life shit; you know how that went down. And he did it with those fucking finger puppets and a little ice crown, so like...ice-king curse? Meaning the ice king is you I guess, cause you ended up with it? I dunno? Oh, and he said that as long as you drink blood, you wont go all batshit on us." He finished with a shrug.
Sitting defeatedly, Ryuji mumbled, "...That is a terrible title." He sighed and said more clearly, "And now there won't be anymore moving it around without properly killing me, because you can't bring the dead back to life, making it pretty much incurable." He looked downcast again, "I...suppose I figured as much." He scuffed the floor with his foot. "...Why was the last one insane then? If all it took was...eating," he selected his word carefully, "why was he crazed?...And you never did explain the maze." He kicked at the floor once more before leaning back, looking up at the ceiling. "I just..." his voice dropped, "worry..."
"The maze...it's obviously an Etheria thing...and that's one of those thin spots between the planes, where it's slipping in and out, right? I ain't got a damn clue about its original deal...but I figure it was just a convenient hiding place for a guilt-ridden ice-undead, yeah? 'Cause here's my guess...so say you're a dude, and some crazy spirit is stealing the people from your village, so you go out kill the sucker to protect them...but then you get this curse and get sick, and eventually end up like this," he gestured broadly at Ryuji. "Now, you live in the middle of the tundra, and you're hungry...you don't got many options so far as living things to eat goes, yeah? Like, rabbits, the odd fox, which apparently are sucky, from what I read?...and your own village...now, do you figure the sorta dude who'll go out to fight a monster to save his village is the sorta dude that'd be down with preying on them too? Nah, man, not likely." He shook his head, "Now, from what I read earlier this morning, the blood thing isnt about survival...you'd 'live' without it just fine...but it's moreso a powerful addiction sorta thing? So if you take a dude who refuses to satiate that need, but it won't go away, and he goes and hides in that maze, and then just sits on it for...shit, what did the mimiga dude say...30 generations? Goin' a bit screwy suddenly ain't so surprising, eh? But from what the harlequin said, so long as you don't go trying to be all noble and not eat and shit, you'll be fine."
Ryuji sat quietly for a minute, still looking at the ceiling. "I didn't expect that I'd ever feel sorry for an undead..." he mumbled finally. "Pft," he snorted, "I guess other than myself." The remark seemed to depress him; his face twitched and he leaned forward again, rubbing his face while his elbows rested on his knees. "...Now what?" he asked from behind his hands. "What am I supposed to do now?"
A strange, sympathetic look crossed the druid's face, and he replied rather gently, "You take what you've got, and you roll with it, dude. Some things about you have changed, sure...but I'd wager a lot haven't, and chances are those are the bits that matter. I mean, you're an undead now, sure. But you really don't look much different, and other than being a bit of a sulk at the moment, you seem like the same dude...so you just...have to figure out how to work around it, and go back to doin' your thing."
"And what am I supposed to do when people find out?" He brought his hands down, but he still looked at the floor, "I'm a blood-drinking abomination. I literally freeze things by touching them. I can't eat food, I can't sleep, I forget to breathe. People aren't going to just not notice that something is weird, and none of those things can just be covered up. What if I start rotting or something, how do I hide that? Or what if I don't, and just stay the same? What if I don't age? What if I just exist forever?" He quavered a bit when he spoke the last sentence; he swallowed and blinked hard, shaking his head a bit as he continued, "Undead are illegal, or at least making or owning them is; I have no idea what to do with a thinking one, and you can bet no one else does either. No one is going to want an undead around them, it's...wrong. It's just wrong, and uncomfortable, and will make people nervous, and defensive, and panic, and mad. I know lots of people who would just as quickly destroy me out of mercy as anything else, several of them in my family, a lot of them who I spent years with growing up. I might be one of them, if you had asked me last week." He gripped his elbows tightly, "Do I just keep hoping that no one realizes what I am, and what, run away when they do? Keep moving and changing my name so no one realizes? Or do I end up living in a cave eating mice, just as worried about hurting people as I am about them killing me? Sitting in an ice cave waiting to lose my mind and be destroyed like the monster I am? ...Like every 'ice king' before me, I guess."
Lucca shifted uncomfortably as the other man talked, making a slight face before eventually offering, "I ain't got any answers to any of that shit for ya, dude...but I'd say you settle the fuck down, and cross them bridges when you come to them, personally. And then like, for the shit that you think is a problem right now...I dunno, they don't sound so hard to cover up." He shrugged, "How's about a. don't drink blood in front of people, b. wear gloves and c. make something up, say you have an allergy or something if the food issue comes up...and I doubt people really pay that much attention to whether or not you breath to begin with anyway. The rest of it, what if, what if, what if. Be a halfway decent person, and maybe by the time anyone realizes something's up, they wont have the balls to mess with you..." He cocked his head slightly, "Would you be inclined to straight up murder someone like yourself, just cause he happened to be an undead? Even if he was minding his own damn business and not bothering anything?" He made a vague guesture and shook his head, "But like I said, I don't got answers to this stuff, sorry. I will say that the ice cave idea is stupid though, don't be a dumbass like that."
Ryuji sat for a moment before replying quietly, "Would I...? ...No. If I had the mettle to, I would have killed the devil Erzebet. I would have brought people against the Kamuns. If I had the mettle, I'd consider killing myself. Suicide is a damnable offense though, and I don't know what's worse, that or suffering an undead to exist. I'd ask a higher shisai than myself, but honestly I don't want to know the answer, since I know I don't have the resolve." He sighed, "I don't have the conviction to end lives without provocation, especially mine. But there are things that shouldn't exist on God's creation. Devils. Undead. And there are lots of people, again, people I know, whose faith is strong enough to allow them to kill those things without hesitation. And if you honestly think that they'll pause because I'm halfway decent, then you don't know enough about the church. A halfway-decent undead deserves death more than anything, to release it from its blighted existence. There are several members of my family who have that conviction, and even if they didn't, they have enough to tell the people who do." He paused and rubbed his eyes, "Can we change the topic to literally anything besides my cousins hunting me down and killing me with the grace of God?"
Lucca stared at him, a mixture of shock and dismay colouring his expression, before slowly answering, "...Absolutely dude...please. You were the one who brought it up."
"Ugh. I don't know." He sat back again and looked towards Lucca. "You're a druid. Druidism is a sort of religion, isn't it? What does it say about undead? I don't know much about Asonian beliefs. I just know my faith is...clear, on the matter."
He blinked, then leaned back, looking thoughtful, "Yeah, I guess so. It doesn't roll quite the same way yours seems to, what with the hard and fast rules, you know? We've got our core beliefs and whatnot, but how you put them into practice depends on the druid. And then we don't really do the whole 'good and evil' thing where I'm from, if you dig? It's...different than here...but that's beside the point. Anyhow, as for undead...not really a topic that comes up much." He paused to ponder the matter before continuing, "...Mmhh...undead aren't really natural...and tend to exist outside of the balance of nature, so you won't really find too many druids who are big on them, you know? But so long as they aren't actively causing problems, you won't find too many who want to bother with them either. Overall, it's just not really the sort of thing we get too concerned over, yeah? I guess some might get all fired up about 'em, but that ain't the norm."
"That's...legitimate, I guess." He made a thoughtful face, "I've never really understood how you could have a religion that doesn't have clear rules and scriptures. It doesn't seem much different than atheism, with people choosing to believe whatever they want. I was telling someone before, nature worship just seems to me like celebrating the bread to be amazing without giving credit to the baker. Not that there's anything wrong with that," he added quickly. "I'm not maligning your beliefs or anything." He added with a sidelong look, "...Especially after I just got finished basically making out my congregation to be full of murderers; I'm not going to easily be winning arguments in my favour." He sighed again.
A crooked smile crossed the druid's face, but something steely lurked in his eyes, "I guess it just takes a different sort of faith; one where you trust that you know damn well in here," he tapped his own chest, "what you ought to be doing, how you ought to be acting without someone having to lay it out for you. And that there are lots different ways to do nature's work, and all of them can be right at the same time." He shrugged, steering the conversation away from the topic, "Anyway, the way I figure it, you might be a creature that is unnatural and exists outside of the balance, but that ain't no big thing; so long as you find a harmonious way to fit in with the world, not disrupt things, you're golden."
Ryuji rolled his eyes a bit. "Thanks," he said with no small amount of sarcasm.
"On that note, how are you makin' out with the whole blood-drinking thing anyway? You gettin' that shit sorted?"
"Ugh," Ryuji made a displeased face. "I suppose? I've been...eating rabbits. It's..." he struggled for a word, "sustainable, I think."
Tipping his head to the side, Lucca cocked an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? How's that been workin' out for ya? Seems to me like you'd go through a lot of rabbits to get full, eh?"
Ryuji had a guarded look as he said, "I've eaten one yesterday, and one this morning. It's...it's like eating a bunch of lettuce. I'm not hungry, really, but...not really full either." He made a face as he added, "I don't think eating more would really make a difference."
"Huh...that seems pretty shitty; lettuce is balls. And probably a pointless waste of life, I think. Especially if quantity ain't the issue," he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his chin onto his hands, leveling a scrutinizing gaze at the other man. " 'Cause I was thinking...you don't actually have to kill something when you feed, yeah? I mean, I tried lookin' it up, but couldn't find anything...but it seems like it'd be a pretty stupid system if you did. Most blood drinking critters don't do shit like that, not intentionally anyway; it serves them no benefit, you know?"
"I...I guess," Ryuji said. "I...hadn't really thought about it; undead don't usually care about sustainability, so I guess I assumed..." He looked uncomfortable and paused before continuing, "I don't think rabbits are big enough if I'm even going to get close to full and spare them. Maybe if I had a cow or something, I could feed off of it without killing it..." He winced, "It might be hard to...stop half-way, but maybe if I eat regularly, I could...control the compulsion, I guess." 
"Now you're thinkin'," The druid nodded, his voice resolute, "You should look into it, try giving it a whirl. It'd be a better system for all involved; nothing should have to die just to feed you if it doesn't actually have to." He continued, almost offhandedly, "Plus, you'll probably feel better, and in the off chance you get found out, looks better on you, don't it?" He finished with a bit of a shrug, but kept an intent gaze locked on the other man.
"I suppose that makes sense. I have no way of keeping a cow here, though..." He trailed off and looked at Lucca, part quizzical and part amused, "...Is that why you came here; to convert me to vampire veganism?"
A scowl crossed his face at this, and he growled, "Fuck you! I don't give a rat's ass what you do, really," As he spoke he got to his feet, his tone almost affronted, "and I ain't trying to convert you to shit all; I just came to make sure you hadn't lost it, or eaten someone, or weren't still sitting in a puddle of your own blood or some shit. You wanna kill rabbits and shit forever, that's on you, dude, I was just trying to help you out."
Ryuji blinked, confused at the sudden shift to hostility. He looked conflicted for a few seconds, somewhere between apologetic and ashamed, when suddenly his face became hard. "...What if I had?" Ryuji asked of him. "You were trying to help...but expected that I might have already gone insane, or murdered someone. What were you going to do then? What were you planning on doing when you got here?"
"I didn't expect shit, jackass! I was planning on doing exactly what I did: talking to your stupid ass! If I'd legit thought you'd gone screwballs or something, do you think I'd've just fucking walked in here, dipshit?" He snorted derisively "And if you had've? I'd've gotten the fuck outta here and figured something out afterwards, because unlike some people, I don't walk around with delusions of meting out righteous judgement in my fucking head!"
"I've seen you 'just fucking walk' into several places that ended in bloodshed, and I've barely known you two months, so yeah, I do think you'd 'just fucking walk in'! And no, you don't have the conviction to dispense justice; you run and get someone else who does! You'd run and get another clergyman to deal with it for you! Just like the last time you had an undead that needed killing!
Lucca's eyes flashed dangerously, and his hands twitched threateningly a couple times before he finally responded, his voice menacingly flat, "If I wanted to kill you, make no mistake, I'd do the job myself, motherfucker. And I wouldn't pretend it was 'justice'; murder is murder, there ain't nothing good or just about it, doesn't matter what you call it, or make believe to make it seem better to yourself. So no, I guess I don't 'have the conviction to dispense justice'...but I certainly have the balls to kill your ass, if I felt it warranted." He paused, glaring at the other man defiantly.
Ryuji snorted, "Oh, you would now? Do it. See how well you deal with the curse." He began to lean forward, slowly standing as he spoke, glaring into Lucca's eyes. "With every. Single. Living. Person. Smelling like the most delicious thing you've ever tasted. And you're just. Continually. Hungry. You never get to sleep. It doesn't stop. And all you can do is eat animals knowing. Knowing. That it's just barely good enough to stop you." He loomed, his tone venomous, "So you'd take the curse willingly then, if you 'thought it was warranted', or whatever you think is a good enough reason for murder? Despite it being oh-so-out of the question when Caitlyn was dying from it? Or did you just forget that's how it works already?" 
Lucca took a half-step backward Ryuji got to his feet, but met his gaze with steely defiance, "Go fuck yourself. I didn't fucking come here to fucking kill your stupid ass, so fuck you! At no point did I think that was the answer, even if you were batshit or something!! If you wanna die so bad, quit goading me go see your cousins or whoever the fuck you're so convinced wants to kill you, cause I ain't doin' it!" He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth, a strange apprehension bubbling behind his eyes as he continued, growling, "As for the curse...I don't have to answer that. You have no idea what you're talking about, and I ain't playing your stupid fucking game. I'm done here." Even as he was still speaking, he turned and made for the door, "You have yourself a fan-fucking-tastic day, jackass."
"You too," Ryuji spat.
Lucca stormed down the stairs, threw on his boots and left the house. As he tromped down the street, he shoved his hands moodily into his pockets. He immediately noticed something: a piece of paper that wasn't there before. Pulling it out, he unfolded it and saw it was a picture: a sketch in coloured pencil of a mask making a mock sad face, a gloved hand drawing a tear down its porcelain cheek. Under it was two little stick figures, one drawn in black with very long hair, the other in blue with a little crown; they had their arms crossed and their backs to each other, with little frowny eyebrows making them obviously mad.
"Eugh, very funny, asshole. Ha. Ha. Fuck you too." he muttered with a mix of disgust and exasperation, drawing a strange look from a gentleman passing by as he jammed the sketch back in his pocket, "Nice to see you're amused." With a growl, he hunched his shoulders and quickened his pace, still grumbling under his breath.
Ryuji, meanwhile, sat back down grumpily. After a few minutes had passed, he stormed out of the house as well. He was sick of sitting in his room. Barely remembering to put on a coat, mainly for appearances, he locked the front door and left.
----
It was a little after dinner when Caitlyn wandered back to Ryuji’s house. She had spent the afternoon at the library, much like Lucca had done the previous day; now that she had eaten, she figured she would go give the Yetoman some company.
When she arrived, two of Ryuji’s housemates were around, and she gave them a cursory greeting before heading upstairs. What she found at the top, though, was an empty room. Neither Sean nor Marcus had seen him, and had just sort of assumed that he was in; Sean in particular stressed that ‘he wasn’t his mom’. Deciding to wait and see if he came back, she visited with the two college students for a while. After a few hours with no appearance, she began to wonder where he had gone, and decided to poke about and look for him.
Figuring that he wouldn’t be anywhere particularly public, she began to wander down the side of the riverbank, knowing that he had mentioned it as a place where he liked to sit. As she trudged through the falling snow, she eventually spotted a strange-looking snow drift. Squinting in the dim light, she decided it was either an unconscious hobo, a pile of discards, or Ryuji. Strongly hoping it was the latter, she picked her way through the snow. Once she got within a few feet, she determined it was in fact the Yetoman covered in snow, suggesting that he had been sitting still for a long time now. He was wearing a coat, but neglected to wear anything else befitting the cold night air, such as gloves or a hat. Sighing, she began beating the snow off of him, snapping him out of his revere. He jumped at first, having not noticed her at all, then settled into an awkward look. “What are you doing all the way out here?” he asked.
“Looking for you,” was her sharpish reply. “You must have been sitting here for hours.”
“I…” he paused and looked sheepish, “...it wasn’t that long.” She glared at him, and hit some more snow off. “It’s snowing pretty hard!” he replied in defense.
She stopped and looked at him for a minute. “So how are you?” she asked eventually.
“...I don’t know? ...I wasn’t too bad. The Lucca kid came over, but we just ended up yelling at each other.” Caitlyn frowned, but didn’t say anything. The silence held for another minute. “...You don’t have to keep visiting me, if you don’t want. I don’t want you feeling like you have to deal with my problems,” he said finally, not looking up.
Caitlyn raised an eyebrow, “...What are you talking about?”
“I don’t want you feeling like...I’m your responsibility or something. That’s not fair to you.”
“Guuh!” she flopped down into the snow, lying on her back, “You don’t get anything. You’re such an idiot.”
Ryuji frowned, still looking away, “That’s not the first time it’s been brought up today; why don’t you explain it?” She didn’t reply, and the two sat quietly as more snow drifted down onto them. Eventually, Ryuji turned and told her, “You know, you’re going to catch cold lying there.”
“So?” she challenged.
“So?...So you shouldn’t let yourself get ill?”
She leaned up, “So where should we go?” Ryuji blinked and stammered, not giving an answer. Suddenly Caitlyn hopped up, and held out her hand to him. “Come on.” He took it, and she immediately yanked him up and began pulling him away, leading him back towards the street. His protests were both weak and ignored.
----
Caitlyn eventually lead them to a dance club. Extremely hesitant at first, Ryuji still allowed himself to be pulled inside. Despite his best efforts to worry, Caitlyn managed to coerce him into having a good time, staunchly ignoring and deriding his fears until even he had a hard time thinking about them.
----
“I’m not saying people shouldn’t study drama, I’m just saying maybe it’s not the best option for a degree.”
“Well, not everyone can sit through 6 hours of tax law classes without falling on their own pencil.”
“It’s applicable! If we’re going to start major trade with Asanon, someone has to know the Asanon tax laws!”
“That doesn’t make it interesting.”
Ryuji sighed. He looked up at the stairs leading to Caitlyn’s house. “Well, here you are.”
She started up the steps, “Come on.”
“Huh?”
Rolling her eyes, she unlocked the door, “Come inside.”
He scuffed the ground, “I don’t want to intrude.”
“I’ve seen enough of your place, so come in and see mine. My housemates are probably asleep. Are you tired?”
He frowned a bit, “No, obviously…”
“Then shut up and come in.”
“...Ok.” Caitlyn opened the door and led him in, taking off their outerwear and heading into her room. It wasn’t very large, and the only seating was her bed, where they both perched. “You’re a very good dancer,” he offered as he sat back against the headboard.
“You’re not bad either,” she replied, sitting adjacent to him.
“I try.” They sat quietly for a minute as Ryuji twiddled his thumbs, looking at the ground. “I still mean what I said,” he offered finally.
“What, that Jimmy and the Three Tones aren’t going to be next year’s big hit?”
Ryuji frowned, “That’s not…”
“Because you’re still wrong.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”
“Doesn’t mean you’re still not wrong.”
“Ignoring something won’t make it better, Caitlyn!” he said, beginning to become upset. She frowned, and he continued, “...I’m going to have problems, and I don’t want you to get dragged down with them. You don’t deserve that.”
“It’s nothing we can’t deal with.”
“I’m going to have to hide all the time. If people find out what I am, I’m going to have to run away and just keep starting over. I don’t know how well I can even mask it; it’s only going to be a matter of time until someone knows. And my family is going to kill me when they find out.”
Caitlyn blinked, “Your family is nice; they’re good people, they wouldn’t…”
“I stopped being a member of the family when I died.”
“Not everyone can think that.”
“Everyone in my family will either cut me down without hesitation, or will feel too bad to do it themselves, but congratulate whoever does. Undead shouldn’t be allowed to exist, especially one that’s mocking one of their late members.”
“There has to be some sort of provision or something.”
“What, in the scriptures?” Ryuji looked wryly, “No, they’re clear.”
“They aren’t that direct.”
“Oh, you know about the writings of Taiyo now?” he asked sardonically, looking towards her finally.
“Of course,” she replied with a bit of defiance.
He snorted, “Then you know that there’s no debate.” He leaned forward again, sighing and pushing his hair back.
“Well, just don’t tell your family,” she tried a different tack.
“I wasn’t going to. I can’t tell anyone. I just don’t know how long it will last.” He snorted again, “If I was going to tell them, I’d just kill myself. It’s a problem, really. Suicide is a sin, undead are a sin, and I don’t know which one is worse.”
Caitlyn got a very serious look. “Don’t think that. Not even for a minute.”
“I’m not, really, I just…”
She cut him off, “No, if you ever start thinking that, you come here, ok?”
“I’m not!” he reassured. “I couldn’t do it, I don’t have the guts. I’m...I’m going to try surviving, I guess. I don’t want to die, really die, so I guess I’m going to hide as best I can and...hope for the best. And I don’t want you to get messed up in it.”
“I’m not going to abandon you,” she said.
“It’s not abandoning, it’s…”
“That’s what you’re asking for, and I’m not going to do it.”
Ryuji growled softly in frustration, “It’s...rgg.”
“You’re so thick!” she replied, equally frustrated. “You don’t get anything!”
“No, no I don’t get it. Explain it.” In lieu of responding, she flopped back onto the bed, turning away. He sat back as well, frustrated and upset. “...Do you want me to go? It’s late.”
“No,” she said, with a tinge of sulk. “I’ll tell you when I want you to go and not before.”
“Alright.” They sat in silence for a moment, which was how long it took Ryuji to notice Caitlyn inching ever closer to his arm that lay on the bed. “...Do you want me to move my arm?” Caitlyn didn’t say anything, but her expression, pointed away from him, was upset and frustrated. “I’ll just…” he moved his arm up, such that Caitlyn could snuggle under it; her expression softened considerably as she took his arm and moved closer. “...I’m not that dumb…” he muttered. “I just...don’t understand, I guess.” Caitlyn made a ‘hmph’ noise, but didn’t say anything. He brushed her hair back with his hand a few times, mumbling eventually, “I’m sorry; I guess I’m messing up your hair.”
“I’ll do it again tomorrow,” she replied, so he kept stroking it.
They sat like this for a while, until Caitlyn, sounding a bit sleepy, asked, “Want to go to the Wizard Battle with me?”
Ryuji looked a bit shocked, “You have tickets for that?” She nodded. He looked a bit concerned, “...I wonder what their security is like? I don’t want you to get arrested for illegal possession of an undead or something.” Caitlyn turned and glared at him, and he replied defensively, “What? That’s an actual felony! I’m not just calling myself a lawyer, you know.”
“So what, you want a license?” she asked.
He rolled his eyes, “No, thank you. I may be a monster, but I’d still like some personal rights.”
“Stop doing that,” she nudged him. “You’re not a monster.”
“You’re really good at denying things, aren’t you?” he said with some humour.
“Well, you’re really good at being a stubborn thickhead,” she retorted. “You’re conscious, and moving, and thinking your own thoughts and doing your own things. That’s alive enough for me.” Ryuji just made a small, wistful smile and shook his head slightly. “What?” she tossed a throw blanket at him playfully, “What’s so different about you? That winter is your favourite season now?”
“Yes, I am not particularly looking forward to summer,” he mumbled out dryly from under the blanket before pulling it off of his face.
They sat for another minute before Caitlyn asked, “You comfortable? Want another pillow or something?”
Ryuji considered this, replying, “I don’t think I can actually be uncomfortable.”
“That’s convenient. You’re not uncomfortable, you don’t have to sleep; meanwhile, I’m over here needing to breathe.”
“I think that’s normal,” he replied with a half-smile.
She continued sarcastically, “All the time! Can’t stop, no matter what. Always needing to breathe. Must be nice not to have to worry about it.” He just shook his head, grinning slightly at the joke. She leaned over on him again, playing with the seams on his shirt. They stayed like that for some time, before eventually Caitlyn rolled over and got up. “Wait there,” she commanded as she left the room. A few minutes later, she came back in her pajamas. Ryuji looked away awkwardly as she got under the covers beside him, snuggling back so as to be pressed up against him with the blankets between them.
“Umm, I...can go if you’re going to bed…” he said.
“I told you, you can leave when I say so.”
“O...kay,” he replied with some hesitance.
“What?” she asked coquettishly, raising an eyebrow.
“I just…” She began to lean up, bringing her nose to the tip of his. “...just don’t get it.” She tilted her chin in, pausing expectantly. Ryuji blinked, then leaned in, closing the gap and pressing his lips against hers.
“Well, you finally got it,” she said with a smile as she pulled back.
He snorted, “I’m not dumb. I just thought that ‘being alive’ is at the top of the must-have list for most people.”
“What did I say earlier?” she said, and leaned in to kiss him again. Though he returned the affection, there was obviously restraint in his motions and expression. “First time doing this?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
“This? No,” he looked conflicted. “It’s the first time with...this addiction,” he eventually settled on the word.
“Oh?” she said, pressing up against him, kissing his neck.
Ryuji set his jaw, the conflict plain on his face. “...Your smell is going to drive me insane,” he whispered.
“That’s what I like to hear,” she whispered back. “Let me know if you’re about to burst.”
He couldn’t help but laugh slightly, “What, so you can get a condom?" She snorted as she kissed his lips again and began to unbutton his shirt.
----
When they finished, Caitlyn laid back, wrapping herself up in blankets, content. Ryuji, on the other hand, appeared agitated. He had pointedly kept his mouth away from Caitlyn the whole time, and had generally appeared concerned. Now he got up almost immediately, pulling his clothes back on and stammering, “I’m sorry, I have to...I have to eat something. I have to go.”
Caitlyn rolled over, smiling sleepily. She waved her hand and mumbled an arcane phrase, and a rabbit materialized on the floor nearby. She rolled back over, muttering, “Learned a new trick for you.”
Ryuji blinked once at the sudden summoning, then grabbed the rabbit and left the room in a bit of a rush. He returned a few minutes later, sans the small mammal. He looked calmer but tinted with shame.
“Feel any better?” Caitlyn asked without turning around.
Kneeling beside the bed, Ryuji leaned forward and buried his face in his arms and the blankets. “I don’t know how long I can do this…” he muttered. “It’s just...not good enough.” She turned over and looked at him, putting her hand on his head. It felt a little warmer. “This is why I don’t want you…”
“Oh shut up,” she chided. “...Is there anything I can do?”
He straightened up some, “No, this is my problem. I can handle it.” He got up off the floor and sat on the edge of the bed, hunching over. “I can handle it…” Caitlyn’s hand found its way to his.
“You feel better.” She grinned impishly. “You should eat beforehand next time. Maybe the extra blood will make you harder.” Ryuji made a face and laughed at the lewd joke. Smiling, she leaned back into the pillows. “Want a book or something?” she asked.
Ryuji looked at her as she began to fall asleep. He smiled, “...Yes, I suppose so, if you’re going to sleep and you still haven’t told me I can leave.”
“Now you’re getting it,” she smiled. She gestured over to a nearby bookshelf. “Help yourself.” She sunk under the blankets and slowly fell asleep.
“Goodnight,” Ryuji said quietly, watching her.
“‘Night…” she replied sleepily.
----
“Morning,” Caitlyn said, leaning over the edge of the bed, putting her chin on Ryuji’s shoulder. He was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed with a book in hand.
“Good morning!” he said chipperly, putting it down.
She looked at him for a second and giggled, “You need glasses?”
He frowned, “For reading, yes.” He pulled off the spectacles and returned them to their case, stashing them back in his pocket. “Apparently I can see without light, but still not well enough to read words in front of my face. Did you sleep well?”
Caitlyn grinned, “What did it look like?”
Ryuji looked a bit embarrassed, “I tried not to be terribly creepy about it.” Smiling, she playfully shoved him.
Sitting up, she stretched, her shirt rising up and exposing her midriff. Shaking out her hair, she asked, “You hungry?”
He frowned, “Not really. It’s only been a few hours; not really worth killing a rabbit for the good it will do.”
“It’s really that bad?”
He grimaced, “It’s just...it makes the hunger less, but it doesn’t get rid of it. It’s always there.” Caitlyn looked at him thoughtfully, with some measure of pity. “I don’t think eating another one now will make me any less hungry, honestly.”
She thought for a moment, then turned away, moving to the other side of the bed. “Wait there,” she commanded.
“What?” he started to turn.
“I said wait there! Geeze, you don’t listen at all.” Rolling his eyes, Ryuji sat back where he had been. She rummaged around a pile of clothes that had been discarded on the floor until she found her wrist sheath. Drawing out one of the spare steel darts that she kept on it, she went back to the bed, keeping the object hidden. “Good. Now close your eyes and be quiet.”
“Why?”
“Just do it!”
“Augh, fine.”
“Lean your head back against the bed.” He did as he was told. Taking the dart, she made a small cut on the end of her index finger. She pinched the end of it, drawing out some blood. “Ok, now you can ask questions. But don’t move or open your eyes.”
“...Okay.” As he started to speak, she lifted her finger over him, drawing out more blood and aiming over his now-open mouth. “Am I going to get an answer if I ask what your do…” he stopped dead in his sentence as a few drops hit their mark. He sucked on his tongue for a few seconds before whispering hoarsely, “...What was that?”
“What do you think?” she pulled her hand back, licking the cut and holding it to stop the bleeding.
“...Why would you…” his voice was low, and longing, and miserable.
“Because I wanted to see if that was better than rabbits. Is it?”
“It’s...it’s…” He fumbled with the word. He rolled about to properly face Caitlyn, his expression desperate as he knelt on the ground. “I need more. I just...need more…”
She looked at him with concern. “...Are you going to be able to stop?”
He visibly wracked his mind, “Yes...I hope. I think...I should. I can. I will,” he stammered, worried and hungry and pained.
“...Are you sure? You don’t sound very sure.”
“Make me,” he said in misery. “If I don’t, then make me. I don’t care how. I won’t hurt you.”
She grinned unhappily, “You’d better not.” Taking the dart again, she drew the sharp edge along her wrist, leaving a dark line of blood. She took care not to get any on her bed as she offered it out to Ryuji. He looked at her wrist for a second in deep conflict, watching the blood pool and begin to run. “If this gets on my sheets, you’re in trouble,” she chided.
Closing his eyes, he whispered an apology, barely audible, as he brought his mouth to Caitlyn’s arm. He drew his tongue along the gash and shuddered, closing his mouth around the cut and drawing out her blood. Caitlyn let him feed for a few seconds uninterrupted.
When she counted to ten, she nudged him in the shoulder, giving him a chance to stop himself without being forced. He complied, pulling away slowly, eyes still closed. He ran his tongue over his teeth, savoring it. “That’s…” he started to speak as he opened his eyes, his gaze falling on her wrist, still bleeding. “Here,” he said. He reached out for her wrist, which she passed over somewhat hesitantly, watching him with slight suspicion lest he go to eat again. He muttered something softly and his hand glowed; he passed it over her, and the cuts on her wrist and hand healed. “I’m sorry I can’t do anything about blood loss,” he said, sitting back, “Maybe if I train more, God will give me that power.” He said this slowly, his gaze fixed on her wrist where the last of the spilled blood clung.
“Heh, fine,” she said, rolling her eyes a bit as she held out her arm once more. “Don’t bite down or anything.” He ran his tongue along her wrist once more, lapping up the last of the blood.
He closed his eyes and sighed slightly in contentment, “That was...I can’t really describe it.”
She smiled, “Now do you feel better?”
“I feel...I feel alive. And for the first time in days, I’m not hungry. And nothing had to die, and the taste is…” he made a sighing noise in lieu of choosing a word. He stood up off the ground, finally.
“Well, I guess we know how you’re eating from now on.”
He looked a bit taken aback, “No, no, I couldn’t ask you to…”
“No, you’re not asking. I’m telling, since you seem to need to be told everything,” she said slyly.
He looked at her for a second before smiling. Without reservation this time, he leaned in and kissed her, long and slow. “I don’t need to be told everything,” he said. His skin was much warmer: still cold, but without the icy chill it usually had.
“That’s a relief,” she replied, returning his embrace and pulling him down onto the bed.
Category:Advent of the All