Transcripts/The De-Stress Ball; Mad Props

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==The De-Stress Ball==
:[crowd cheering]
:Rarity: Thank you! Merci! ¡Gracias!
:[cheering stops]
:Rainbow Dash: Great dress rehearsal. Tomorrow night will be a piece of cake.
:Rarity: "A piece of cake"? A piece of cake was grammar school. A piece of cake was the last thing I ate, and it was divine. No! This is live theater! Anything is possible.
:Twilight Sparkle: Give us examples.
:Rarity: You could forget your lines. The lights could fall. Worst of all, you could get stage fright. [laughs]
:Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
:Applejack: O-Out of curiosity, w-what does stage fright feel like?
:Rarity: Your legs shake. Your knees buckle. Your mouth gets dry.
:Applejack: [grunting]
:[splash!]
:Applejack: Well, that plumb explains it. I've got stage fright!
:Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
:Rarity: I have the most superb solution.
:Pinkie Pie: More cake? I'm pretty hungry.
:Gummy: [chomps]
:Pinkie Pie: [chomps]
:Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]
:Pinkie Pie: [whimpers]
:Rarity: Tonight, I'm throwing a de-stress ball. It's what we actors do the night before an opening night. We chill out, get our zen on, and make all the collywobbles and worries go away.
:Fluttershy: This'll cure your problem for sure, Applejack.
:Applejack: [grunts]
:[doors open]
:Rarity: Prepare to de-stress. Beanbags for your bottom, candles for your comfort, and treats for your tummy.
:Pinkie Pie: [squeals] Is that peppermint popcorn?
:Rarity: Peppermint is a natural calmer.
:Applejack: Yum. But I still got the fright.
:[knock on door]
:Applejack: [whimpers]
:Rarity: I wonder who that could be. [whispers] I know who it is.
:[zip!]
:Rarity: Friends, allow me to introduce... Chamomilia! She will be guiding us in relaxation techniques.
:Chamomilia: [sniffs] Sweet child, I'm glad you called me. There's stage fright in this room.
:[thunder]
:Chamomilia: Let's get down to business. Find your chill zone. Close your eyes.
:Mane Six: [sigh]
:Chamomilia: Take a deep breath in, and hold it.
:Mane Six: [inhale]
:Chamomilia: Hold it... Hold it...
:Mane Six: [grunting]
:Chamomilia: Hold it! What is that? [chomping] Mmmm!
:Mane Six: [grunting]
:Rarity: [strained] We need to breathe, Cammy...!
:Chamomilia: And exhale slowly out.
:Mane Six: [panting]
:Chamomilia: [sighs] Wasn't that relaxing? Now, picture yourself on stage tomorrow night.
:Chamomilia: [narrating] All of your friends and family watching you from their seats. See how proud they are of you.
:Applejack: Hey. I reckon I'm feelin' better.
:Chamomilia: See how disappointed they would be if you forgot your lines.
:Rest of Mane Six and Big McIntosh: [growl]
:Applejack: [whimpers]
:[crowd booing]
:[splat!]
:Applejack: [whimpers] I reckon I spoke too soon.
:Chamomilia: I know you worry about tripping on stage in front of everypony.
:Rainbow Dash: Uh...
:Chamomilia: But that won't happen. Will it?
:Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [whimper]
:Chamomilia: And everypony, open your eyes. See? Isn't that better?
:Fluttershy: [whimpers] I think I've got stage fright. And it's all I can think about! It's contagious!
:Pinkie Pie: I think I've got it, too!
:Rainbow Dash: Now I got it!
:Twilight Sparkle: Me, too!
:Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash: [whimper]
:Chamomilia: [chewing] Mmmm.
:[watch beeps]
:Chamomilia: That's my time. Afraid I need to go home, watch my stories, and knit. I knit now.
:[clatter]
:Rarity: [gasps]
:Chamomilia: I'll send you an invoice, Rarity.
:[door closes]
:Rarity: [whimpers, faints]
:Pinkie Pie: [worried noise]
:Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
:[shatter!]
:Fluttershy: [whimpers]
:Rarity: [wails]
:Applejack: [sighs]
:Rarity: What's gotten into you?
:Applejack: That's just the thing. Nothin's gotten into me. Somethin's left me. I lost my stage fright!
:Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
:Pinkie Pie: How'd you do that?!
:Rarity: Yes, please tell us! I need this bewitching brain spell gone!
:Rest of Mane Six: Mm-hmm.
:Applejack: It's the funniest doggone thing. Now that everypony's got stage fright, I feel less alone. And that's what bein' in a cast is all about, right?
:Rarity: You speak the truth.
:Applejack: The only way we get over our joint stage fright is to do our show tomorrow. And I'm golly-gee determined to go on stage tomorrow with all of my best friends!
:Fluttershy: Hey, I'm relaxed again.
:Pinkie Pie: Hmmm... I am, too.
:Rainbow Dash: Explains the smell.
:Rarity: You've saved opening night, Applejack!
:Applejack: It was your de-stress ball, Rarity. It worked its magic.
:Rarity: It really did. Now, actors, picture it. The theater gets dark. The curtain goes up. A spotlight shines on... us!
:[crowd cheers]
:Applejack: Showtime!
==Mad Props==
:[Rarity]
::[operatically] Me, me, me, all about me!
:Ugh! Darling, you're pitchy! [to reflection] You're pitchy!
:Applejack: Let me know when you're done. This high-falutin' updo won't stay up. My character can't have a down-do.
:Pinkie Pie: Twilight, your prop list spreadsheet is flawless! It's every single item used in the show organized perfectly!
:Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Pinkie. I really wanted to make sure I got it right so the play can go off without a hitch. I included everything!
:Pinkie Pie: Almost everything. Technically, this tablet is a prop.
:Twilight Sparkle: Well, scroll down to the very bottom.
:Pinkie Pie: [gasps] There it is!
:Twilight Sparkle: Everything goes into the spreadsheet, along with apples, a frying pan, a mirror, an old bucket, this calculator, some pizza, a wheelbarrow, an iced tea pitcher, a dozen squishy cube things...
:Pinkie Pie: Places! Thank you! Places!
:Twilight Sparkle: Oops. Time to go.
:[zip!]
:Rainbow Dash: You ponies are the greatest to ever grace the stage, and I know about greatness. Pre-show ritual on three! One! Two! Three!
:Mane Six: [???] theater!
:Rarity: ...theater!
:Pinkie Pie: It's showtime!
:[door opens]
:Rarity: [sighs] It is cold out there. Dang near freezing.
:Fluttershy: [stilted] It is cold in here, too. It has been cold in here for years.
:[crack!]
:Rarity: You want heat? You want heat?! What do we look like – billionaires?!
:[flames roaring]
:Fluttershy: Ooh!
:[hiss]
:Fluttershy: Awww.
:[crowd laughing]
:Rainbow Dash: Yes!
:Twilight Sparkle: Yes!
:[ominous music]
:[electrical sounds]
:[ka-chunk!]
:[crowd murmuring]
:Rainbow Dash: Uh, did we hook up the stage lights wrong?
:Twilight Sparkle: Should I go try to fix it?
:[electrical sounds]
:[ka-chunk!]
:Rarity: You say you want heat? We can't even keep the lights on around here!
:Rarity and Fluttershy: [nervous laugh]
:[crowd cheers]
:Pinkie Pie: What a pro.
:Applejack: Sometimes, I feel like I want to gallop far, far away from all of this. You know, just gettin' out of this here town and havin' a history hoedown.
:[crowd laughing]
:[poof!]
:Applejack: Uhhh... there's... nothin' here for me, anymore.
:[poof!]
:Applejack: Huh?
:Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: Huh?
:Applejack: It's like outgrowin' an old coat.
:[poof!]
:[crowd laughing]
:Applejack: You want to put it on again...
:[poof!]
:Applejack: ...but it just doesn't...
:[poof!]
:Applejack: ...fit the same way anymore. So...
:[poofing]
:Applejack: ...you have to keep changin' your clothes! Always movin' forward!
:[poof!]
:[crowd laughing]
:Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [nervous laugh]
:Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'd give all the stars in the solar system – the planets, too – to stay here. But we've got two days to leave.
:[crowd gasps]
:Audience Pony: [crying]
:Fluttershy: [stilted] But... But this is our home. What will become of us?
:[poof!]
:[crowd laughing]
:Fluttershy: [whimpers]
:Twilight Sparkle: I didn't do that. Two days, huh?
:[poofing]
:Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
:Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy: [gasping]
:[crowd laughing]
:[ding!]
:Fluttershy: [whispers] Pssst. Follow my lead. [stilted] What will become of us? Nowhere to live. Nothing to hold onto.
:[poof!]
:Twilight Sparkle: It's like... It's like all the things we hold dear in this world are just going away.
:[crowd awww's]
:[Rarity]
::[operatically] Whaaaaat a glorious niiiiight
:[poof!]
:[thud]
:[crowd laughing]
:[poof!]
:[French music]
:[clink]
:Applejack and Rarity: [slurp]
:Pinkie Pie: I declare that this orange juice is the best in all the land! Nom-nom-nom. Gulp, gulp.
:[crowd murmuring]
:Rainbow Dash: [chomps]
:[poof!]
:Rainbow Dash: Huh?
:Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
:Rainbow Dash: Ooh. Huh?
:Mane Six: [gasp]
:[prop monster roars]
:Rainbow Dash: Uh...
:[prop monster roars]
:Rarity: Don't you see? Our possessions are keeping us down. We need to fight materialism! Hah!
:Mane Six: [grunting]
:[poof!]
:Rarity: Huh?
:[thud]
:Mane Six: [panting]
:[crowd cheers]
:Twilight Sparkle: What in Celestia's green Equestria just happened?!
:Pinkie Pie: I know, right? I didn't have "big magical monster thingy" on my prop list, but there it was. In the play.
:[crowd cheering]
:[ominous music]
:[credits]