Phil

Phil was the affectionate nickname given to the Scholastic Forums' moderation filter. Before a post could appear on the forums, it had to pass through an automatic filtering system that scanned for problematic words or phrases. If an entry tripped an alert or if Phil was just feeling particularly unhelpful that day, the hapless post would be consigned to some hopeless Scholastic netherscape, ala Bing Bong. Whispered rumors suggest that Jeanne Kellogg clawed her way out of this dimension and has harbored resentments against Scholastic ever since. 
From the beginning, Phil's relationship with the MBers was rocky at best. As the forums began to support more users, the filter became slower and slower. Forumers quickly learned to save posts they had invested any sort of time into, lest it be apprehended by Phil's tyrannical whims. Lots of posts finished with "mods, let this through!" or "filter, let this pass!". 
In 2015, a glitch with the filter occasionally caused posted threads to randomly delete. Ever the drama queen, glitchy Phil 2.0 waited for a suitably theatrical moment to make himself known. Unfortunately, this moment was the Mimi debacle and many key threads were lost on the SAMB, IRMB, and T39CMB. 
By 2017, the SAMB was outdated and growing laggier by the minute. Among other things, issues with the filter caused the mods to update the SAMB to a newer format. Despite the improvement, however, the problems continued. By 2018, posts could take anywhere between several hours and several days to pass through Phil's systems, if they passed at all. During the fall of 2018, a thread purge cleared up some room in Scholastic's databases, and Phil's progressing improved marginally. It was also around this time that the filter was christened Phil by the SAMBers. 
Phil's many personal problems were never resolved, and he was cited as one of the reasons for the forums' eventual removal. His spirit lives on through his son, Phil Jr. (or lil Phil), who keeps a new generation of Scholastic enthusiasts safe on Home Base. 
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