Friend Like Me/Myotismon and his Men’s New Plan

(Back at the palace that same night, Sheeta, Lavagirl, and the Dazzlings are in their room, on their own beds and in their pajamas, crying silently. Sheeta was now wearing a lavender long-sleeved pajama top, matching long pajama pants, and mauve socks. Lavagirl was now wearing a red short-sleeved silk nightgown with short, puffy sleeves and matching long pants with puffy legs and frills attached to the ankles. Adagio was now wearing a lilac long-sleeved pajama top with buttons and matching long pajama pants. Aria was now wearing a turquoise long-sleeved pajama top with buttons and matching long pajama pants. Starlight was now wearing a blue long-sleeved pajama jacket with white checkers, a matching collar, and blue buttons and matching long pajama pants with the same white checkered pattern as her top. Sonata was now wearing a fuchsia long-sleeved pajama top with buttons and matching long pajama pants, and Trixie was now wearing a dark blue long-sleeved pajama top with a yellow sun, moon, and stars on it and plain dark blue buttons and matching long pajama pants with the same pattern as her top. Raksha, Spike, and the Mane Seven were nearby, looking sad. Charlie, Sasha, and Itchy came in to check on them and saw what happened)
Charlie: (Concerned) Sheeta? 
Sasha: (Concerned) Lavagirl?
Itchy: (Concerned) Dazzlings?
Charlie: (Concerned) Oh, girls. What's wrong?
Sheeta: (Tearfully, sniffles) Myotismon and his men have, done something terrible.
(Sasha sighed as she, Charlie, and Itchy came over to the girls and held Sheeta, Lavagirl, and the Dazzlings' hands respectively)
Charlie: There, there. We can make things right.
Itchy: Now, tell us everything.
Sasha: What happened?
(Back at the underground of the desert where the Cave of Wonders once stood, Pazu is still unconscious while Sharkboy, the Gangreen Gang, Yoshi, Popple, Spyro, Cynder, and Sparx are trying to wake him)
Group: Pazu?
(Yoshi chirped in concern)
Snake: Hey Pazzzzzu, if you're alive, startssssss moaning, buddy.
(Ace, thinking quickly, pinches Pazu and he woke up slowly from the pain of the pinch)
Arturo: Pazu, you're okay!
Popple: Thank goodness.
Pazu: Man, my head. Is everyone alright?
Sharkboy: Yeah, we're okay.
Sparx: Though you may want to think of setting up home here.
Cynder: Yep.
Spyro: We're stuck.
(Pazu looked up and sees that the entrance has been sealed in)
Pazu: We're trapped.
Snake: (Angrily) And that'sssss becaussse of that two-face sssson of a...!
(Ace socks him)
Snake: (Rubbing his punched cheek) Jackal.
Sharkboy: (Sighs) Well, it doesn't matter.
Billy: Whoever he is, he got away with the lamp.
(Popple and Yoshi gave a smug smile, much to their confusion)
Group: What?
Popple: (Smugly) Oh, really?
(Popple holds up the lamp, the same lamp that Vanitas just lost and the one Pazu just found, and Yoshi chirps a "Ta-da")
Pazu: Heh. You crazy thief.
Popple: (Shrugs) What can I say? I try, see.
(Pazu takes the lamp from Popple and looks it over)
Pazu: I wonder what's so important about this that the guy wanted it so badly.
Ace: It looks like a worthless piece of junk to me.
Cynder: Not necessarily.
Pazu's group: (Confused) Hm?
Cynder: There's more to things than meet the eye, you know.
Sharkboy: What does that supposed to mean?
(Grubber blew a raspberry in confusion. Then Pazu spotted something on the lamp)
Pazu: Hey, I see some writing on it. But it's hard to read.
(Pazu rubs the lamp to clean the writing. But then the lamp begins to shine and everyone jumped back. Suddenly something appeared out of nowhere roaring. When all is clear, the group sees a figure. He is a goofy-looking male purple dragon with a violet underbelly, gold yellow horns, spikes, claws, and wings, and yellow eyes. As he appears, he held his neck in pain)
Goofy dragon: (Groans in pain) Ten thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck. Hang on, will ya?
(The goofy dragon magically hangs Pazu on a nearby rock. To everyone's surprise, the goofy dragon takes his head off and spins it around while yelling. Then he puts his head back down. Pazu's group then helped a confused Pazu down while Spyro's group, who helped as well, got calmly happy, as if they know the goofy dragon)
Goofy dragon: Does it feel to be out of there?!
(Suddenly the goofy dragon makes a microphone appear and the cave turned into some sort of talk show)
Goofy dragon: (To the group) Hi folks! Great to be back at last! (To Pazu) Hey kid. Where ya from? What's your name?
(He holds the microphone to Pazu)
Pazu: Uh.... Pazu.
Goofy dragon: Pazu!
(A neon light appears above with Pazu's name lighting up with chase lights. Even the sign changed to reflect the goofy dragon's next line)
Goofy dragon: Pazu! Welcome to the show! Do you want to be Pa? Or Zu? Or how about Laddie?
(The goofy dragon suddenly turns into a purple dog wearing a kilt)
Goofy dragon: Like "Here boy. Come on Laddie!"
(Pazu's group got confused even more)
Pazu: I must have hit my head harder than I thought.
Ace: I didn't and I still don't believe this.
Goofy dragon: Don't mind if I smoke, right?
(The goofy dragon then explodes into smoke and then reappeared, giggling, making Popple jumped back)
Popple: Ya nearly gave me a heart attack!
Goofy dragon: Sorry about that. Hope I didn't mess the teeth.
Spyro, Cynder, and Sparx: Hey, old friend.
(The goofy dragon noticed Spyro, Cynder, and Sparx and they happily greeted each other)
Goofy dragon: Hey, Spyro, Cynder, and Sparx!
(They hug each other for a bit)
Goofy dragon: Great to see you three again! How's everything?
Spyro: The usual.
Cynder: Yeah.
Sparx: Until Pazu and his friends showed up.
(The goofy dragon looks at Pazu's group)
Goofy dragon: I know Pazu's name already. What about the rest?
Sharkboy: My name is Sharkboy.
Ace: Ace D. Copular, but just call me Ace.
Snake: Mine'ssss Sssssanford D. Ingleberry, but everybody callsssss me Sssssnake, gotsss it?
Goofy dragon: Sure.
Arturo: My name's Li'l Arturo de la Guerra. But call me either Li'l Arturo or just Arturo, okay? Okay.
Billy: Duh, my name's Big William W. Williams, but call me either Big Billy or just Billy.
(Grubber blows some raspberries)
Goofy dragon: I speak raspberries.
(He blows some raspberries with Grubber as well, calmly surprising Pazu's group)
Goofy dragon: Ah, okay. Grubber J. Gribberish, but just Grubber. Got it.
(Then he noticed how tall Pazu is)
Goofy dragon: Say, you look bigger than my last master. Or maybe because I'm shrinking. (Looks at himself) Am I getting really, really small to you?
Arturo: No. You're always pequeño. Meaning "Small."
Ace: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You said "Master?"
Pazu: I'm your master?
(The goofy dragon slaps a diploma in Pazu's hand and a mortarboard on his head)
Goofy dragon: That's right! You graduated! So what do you want from me?
(The goofy dragon transforms into Arnold Scwharzenneger)
Goofy dragon: (Imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger) The ever impressive....
(The goofy dragon puts himself in a cube)
Goofy dragon: (Straining in normal voice) The long contained....
(The goofy dragon now has a puppet version of himself on his hand)
Goofy dragon: (Mouthing the puppet) Often imitated....
(The goofy dragon ditches the puppet)
Goofy dragon: But never duplicated...
(The group watches as the goofy dragon makes clones of himself while spinning around, repeating "Duplicated" until it ended. The goofy dragon then makes an announcement like a ring announcer)
Goofy dragon: Figment of the lamp!
(The goofy dragon, now revealed to be Figment, transforms into Ed Sullivan as his clones applauded for him)
Figment: (Imitating Ed Sullivan) Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment. Thank youuuuu!
Pazu's group: Wait. Wait.
Pazu: "Wish fulfillment?"
(Figment changes back to normal and his clones vanished)
Figment: (Normal voice) That's right! I can grant you three wishes. And you cannot wished for any more wishes.
(Figment then turns into a slot machine, pulls his arm down like a lever, and three mini Figments appeared in the windows)
Mini Figments: Three!
(The mini Figments came out of the slot wearing sombreros speaking Spanish)
Mini Figments: Uno, dos, tres.
(Figment then turns into Groucho Marx and walked by the group)
Figment: (Imitating Groucho Marx) No copies, exchanges, or refunds.
(Then Figment appeared hanging on a rope as a duck holding the sign "Refunds")
Ace: (Chuckling a bit) Are you sure that I am not the one dreaming, guys?
Pazu's group: I guess.
Figment: Master, I think you should realize what I got for you here. So why don't you just ruminate, whilst I illuminate the possibilities.
(Then Figment began singing)
Figment: Well Ali-Baba had them forty thieves
(The forty thieves appeared with swords and surrounded Pazu's group)
Figment: Scheherazade had a thousand tales
(Suddenly, Figment appeared in Pazu's shirt and vest)
Figment: But Master, you in luck because up your sleeve
You got a brand of magic that never fails
(Figment then sticks his arms out and punches the thieves away. Next, Pazu is in a boxing ring, being massaged by Figment)
Figment: You got some power in your corner now
Some heavy ammunition in your camp
(Figment turned into fireworks and exploded like crazy)
Figment: You got some punch, pizzazz
See all you gotta do is rub that lamp
(Figment appears from the lamp, grabs Pazu's hand, and made him rub the lamp)
Figment: And I'll say
"Mister Pazu, Sir
What will your pleasure be?"
(Pazu and Spyro's groups then find themselves at a table and chairs that appeared out of thin air, with Figment writing things on a notepad like a waiter)
Figment: Let me take your order, jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me
No no no
Life is your restaurant
And I'm your maitre' d
(Figment gives a dish to Pazu. When Pazu removes the lid, he jumps back as he sees Figment turning into chicken. Figment then turns back to normal but blow his horn up)
Figment: C'mon, whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me
(Figment now became four Figments giving Pazu a shave, haircut, and manicure)
Figment: Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss, the king, the shah
(Pazu's group is now in big chairs, surrounded by treasure and women fanning them as Spyro, Cynder, and Sparx giggled a bit)
Figment: Say what you wish
It's yours, true dish
How about a little more Baklava?
(Figment now dumps a bunch of baklava all over everyone. Pazu's group is now seen jumping from column A to column B)
Figment: Try some of column A
Try all of column B
(Pazu's group fell but luckily they fell on a custom, courtesy of a big Figment)
Figment: I'm in the mood to help you dude
(Figment opens his mouth and his tongue turns into stairs. A mini Figment came out dressed like a magician)
Figment: You ain't never had a friend like me
(The little Figment then begins to dance with the big Figment's hands, scatting a bit. They are soon done and squashed the little Figment into nothing. Then he reappeared next to Pazu's group)
Figment: Can your friends do this?
(Figment takes his head off, makes copies of it, and spins them around)
Figment: Can your friends do that?
(Figment tosses the heads to Ace who juggles them with a light smirk on his face. He spins them like a basketball before giving them back to Figment. Figment then tries to pull himself out of a hat)
Figment: Can your friends pull this
Out their little hat?
(Figment then turns into a purple rabbit, then a giant purple dragon)
Figment: Can your friends go poof
(Figment spits out flames which then turned into seven cute girls dancing around Pazu's group, much to their delight)
Figment: Well looky here
(He chuckles a bit)
Figment: Can your friends go "Abracadabra," "Let 'er rip"
And then make the sucker disappear?
(Pazu's group's delight turned into annoyance as the girls disappeared after dancing around. Figment then imitated Pazu's group, so to speak)
Figment: So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
(Figment turns into a certificate and rolls up, surrounding Pazu)
Figment: You got me bonafide, certified
You got an imaginary friend for a charge d'affairs
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So what you wish I really want to know
(Figment removes a list of different languages out of Pazu's ear and uses it to dry himself off like he just stepped out of the shower)
Figment: You got a wish that's three miles long, no doubt
So all you gotta do is rub like so
And oh
Mister Pazu, Sir, have a wish or two or three
(A bunch of guys appeared and bowed to Pazu's group before disappearing. The same seven dancing girls appeared and smiled softly. Pazu's group smiled softly and leaned to kiss each girl, but the girls turned into Figment, who giggles, much to Pazu's group's alarm)
Figment: I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
(Figment then made four dancing elephants appear)
Figment: You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
(Four dancing camels then appeared as the big finale begins)
Figment: You ain't never
Had a
Friend
Like
Me
(Soon the big finale is about to end. Popple grabs a few treasure)
Figment: You ain't never had a friend like me
(Figment turns into a cyclone to wrap the song up and everything disappeared. Even the treasure Popple has been collecting. The cave is once again empty except for everyone and a neon "Applause" sign Figment put on the wall, making Spyro, Cynder, and Sparx and even Yoshi applaud a bit)
Cynder: That was wonderful as usual!
Spyro and Sparx: Bravo, Figment!
(Popple noticed the treasure he collected is gone and then pouted a bit)
Popple: (Pouting) Great.
Figment: (To Pazu) So, what'll it be, Master?
Pazu: So, Figment, I get any wishes I want?
Figment: Well, not really. (Imitating William Buckley) There are some provisos, a couple of quid pro quos.
Cynder: In other words, limitations.
Sparx: Yep.
Spyro: There are some wishes Figment cannot grant no matter how much you wanted them.
Pazu's group: Like what?
Figment: (Normal voice) There are three rules on the wish granting.
Pazu's group: Three rules?
(Figment sat next to them)
Figment: Rule number one; I can't kill anyone.
(Figment "Cuts" his head off and holds it in one hand)
Figment: So don't ask. Rule number two...!
(Figment puts his head back on as he continued)
Figment: I can't make someone fall in love with someone else.
(Figment's head turns into a pair of lips which kissed Pazu sweetly before turning back to normal)
Figment: (Cooing) You are so cute.
(Then he fell flat on his back)
Figment: Rule number three...!
(Next, Figment turns into a green ghostly figure, which got up and freaked out Pazu's group a bit)
Figment: (Imitating Peter Lorre) I cannot bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture! (Grabs and shakes Sharkboy) I don't like doing it!
(Figment turns back to normal and smiles softly)
Figment: Other than that, you got it.
(He bows to Pazu, covering his face with his hands. Pazu's group paused to think, then they smirked playfully, having an idea)
Sharkboy: Provisos?
Snake: Like limitsssss on ssssstuff including wishesssss?
Popple: (Scoffs) He's a faker!
Ace: Some all-powerful imaginary friend genie he is!
(Figment frowns at this as Pazu's group began to walk away)
Billy: Can't even bring people back from the dead.
Arturo: I guess he can't get us out of here either.
Pazu: Well, I guess we should go find another way out.
(Before Pazu's group could get further, Figment puts his foot out, a literally giant one, that is, blocking the way, ticked off)
Figment: (Imitating Robert de Niro) Excuse me? Did you rub my lamp, did you bring me here, and all of the sudden, you're gonna walk out on me?!
(Pazu's group looked amused as Figment continues to get ticked off)
Figment: I don't think so! Not when I'm around! You're getting your wishes, so sit down!
(Spyro, Cynder, and Sparx then levitation Pazu's group)
Spyro: Boy, you made him mad.
Sparx: Aw, don't worry.
Cynder: We get used to it.
(Figment flew next to them, happy again, and acted like a steward of a plane)
Figment: (Imitating a steward) In case of emergencies, the exit is here, here, here, here, here, everywhere!
(Figment points out a bunch of exits with a bunch of arms then reverted to normal)
Figment: (Normal voice) So folks, keep your arms, legs, and everything inside the flight at all times! We're outta here!
(Then Figment magically surrounded the group with his barrier and with its powerful force, flew up to the ceiling very fast and managed to explode out right back into the desert, flying off while escaping. Back at the palace, Myotismon's group, with Vanitas back in his main attire and Mephiles in his disguise, is in the throne room, getting scolded by an upset Charlie and Sasha with Itchy and Sheeta's group, back in their daytime clothes, next to Charlie and Sasha. And with Myotismon's group, is a male jackal with black fur, white markings on his back and tip of his tail, white tendril-like hair, a yellow pupil on his left eye, and wearing a silver metal half helmet-like mask over his face with his left eye exposed only underneath a red visor and his right blue eye covered by a black bolt-shaped visor-like screen and metal bat-like ears with the interior colored black and white ringed, a white neck bandana, a red upside-down triangle-shaped ruby brooch on his chest, black gloves, and silver and black armored boots. He is Infinite, another member of Myotismon's group and also pretending to work for Charlie and Sasha)
Charlie: Myotismon's group, of all the things you have done, this is the lowest you have ever done!
Sasha: If it weren't for the fact that you were loyal to us all these years.... (Sighs a bit) Well, from now on, talk to me and Charlie about the prisoners before they are beheaded!
Myotismon: We apologize, you're majesties.
Vanitas: It won't happen again.
Hades: We were only trying to keep the princesses safe, that's all.
Itchy: For your sake, it better not happened again.
(Charlie and Sasha then brings an upset Sheeta's group over to Myotismon's group)
Sasha: Now then, I want this whole thing behind us.
Charlie: And we can forgive and forget.
Itchy: Please?
Drake: Again, accept our humble apologizes.
(Drake takes Aria’s hand in an attempt to kiss it but Aria angrily pulled it back)
Aria: (Bitterly) Fine, whatever.
Lavagirl: (Angrily) Well, at least one good thing comes out of us finding a husband.
Sheeta: When Lavagirl, the Dazzlings, and I are queens, we will have the power to get rid of you.
(Sheeta's group stormed out then)
Charlie: Well, now that's settled.
Itchy: Sheeta, girls, it's time go back to finding you proper suitors.
Sasha: Uh, Sheeta, girls?
(Charlie, Sasha, and Itchy looked up and see that Sheeta's group is leaving the room. They go after them)
Charlie, Sasha, and Itchy: Sheeta, girls!
(When they were gone, Mephiles changed back to his real form and scowls angrily along with Myotismon's group)
Vanitas: Oh, if only I have gotten that lamp!
Mr. Electric: Well, you didn't!
Infinite: All on account of you dropping it in the cave by accident.
Demidevimon: (Imitating Sheeta) Lavagirl, the Dazzlings, and I will have the power to get rid of you. (Normal voice, in anger) Terrific! Now we got to continue kissing up to those fools, and their fool daughters and nieces for the rest of eternity...!
(Myotismon's group and their henchmen head to a outside balcony to see Charlie, Sasha, and Itchy speaking with Sheeta's group with Raksha, Spike, and the Mane Seven watching them, bored-like, Sheeta's group that is)
Myotismon: No, Demidevimon.
Fidget: It's not until they find the fool husbands.
Mephiles: Then they will banish us. (Gasps) Or behead us!
(The bumbling villains shuddered at that idea)
Panic: That is pretty gross.
Pain: And unpleasant.
(Demidevimon brightens up suddenly)
Demidevimon: Wait, wait, wait. I got an idea!
Fidget: (Flatly) Why am I not surprised.
Demidevimon: (To Fidget) Shut up! (To Myotismon's group) Maybe you can be the fool husbands.
Myotismon's group: (Confused) What?
Fidget: He means that you marry the princesses.
Arukenimon: (Realizing) And then you will be the new sultans of Agrabah.
Mummymon: Indeed!
(Myotismon's group thought about this and smirked evilly at the idea)
Infinite: I see where you're getting at.
(They go to the throne and sits down)
Drake: Marry the shrews.
Vanitas: We become rulers.
Myotismon: This idea is merit, despite that I'm married already.
Vanitas: And Mother luckily understands and knows that we and you'll plan on getting rid of your so-called new bride and ours and stay loyal to her, not one of the princesses, of course.
Fidget: Yep! Merit.
Myotismon: Indeed.
Demidevimon: Then later, we can drop Mama-in-law, Papa-in-law, the fat adviser, and the little ones off a cliff.
(He pretends to fall screaming a bit)
Demidevimon: (Landing on the floor) Ker-splat!
Myotismon: (Chuckles evilly a bit) Demidevimon, Fidget, I love how your sinister minds work.
Myotismon's group: Indeed!
(Then the villains, including a nervous Fidget, laughed evilly a bit as they begin their scheme)
Coming up: Upon arrival at an oasis, Pazu makes his first to Figment to make him and his friends princes to help win Sheeta's group's hearts and marry them. Then they arrive as the princes, much to the delight of Charlie, Sasha, and Itchy, the disgust of Sheeta's group, and the suspicions of Myotismon's group and their henchmen.
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Aladdin Fanmakes
Category:Aladdin Parodies