The Total Drama Revolution Aftermath, Part One

The fifteenth chapter of Total Drama Revolution, posted on September 14, 2011.
==Story==
The Total Drama aftermath sign is shown. Then, clips of Vincent being blasted in the air by Cammy, Dolph flying away on his nyan cat, Cammy and Trick making out, Antoine quitting the game, and Elle and Chelsey watching Nebraska Shore are shown. The screen changes to an empty, pitch black stage with one person.
"Hey, hey, hey!" he says in a familiar voice. "It's Josh! And I'm here to host an aftermath, I think?"
Some fat guy points to Josh's cue card.
"Oh, yeah. I am here to host an aftermath, but not without special guests..." says Josh. "I think."
"DUDE. JUST GET ON WITH IT." shouts a voice that sounds like Ori.
"All right, then. Let's introduce our losers." says Josh.
Ori makes a menacing face at him. "I mean, eliminated contestants." says Josh.
"There, that's better." says Ori.
Josh motions to the curtains.
Lizza comes out, bouncing about, followed by PJ, who is silent, and Northworth, Kim, and Gustavo, who are swearing and grumbling, Toad, who is bothering Trick, and Mattie and Abbey, who are talking. Ori comes out with his dad.
"Dad, what the FUNK are you doing here!?" he screams.
"I wanted to chaperone this! Your ma misses you, son." says Ori's dad.
Ori facepalms. "Somebody kill me."
Gustavo takes out a knife.
"NOT LITERALLY." says Ori.
"All right, then. What do we do now? And where's Dolph?" asks Josh.
"Dolph died or something." says Trick.
"I think he's my dad." says Gustavo.
"That doesn't even make any sense, idiot." says Northworth.
"DID I SAY IT HAD TO, FOOL?!" yells Gustavo angrily.
"Stop abusing the caps lock, guy." says Mattie.
"YeahmanthatsnotcoolyoushouldjustberelaxedlikeTasia." says Lizza.
"Relaxed, Oh-ho-ho, you're one to talk, idiot." says Gustavo.
"Gus, relax." says Kim, whose eye patch and syringe are missing.
"Kim, has anyone ever told you that you look super attractive without your eye patch and syringe?" asks Trick.
A chair is thrown at Trick from off-stage. Trick slumps over.
"Wow, who knew Cammy could be so angry? She's hot when she's angry." says Toad.
A chair is thrown at Toad from off-stage. Toad slumps over.
"'Ey, look at Cammy's cleavage." says Gustavo.
A chair is thrown at Gustavo from off-stage. Gustavo slumps over.
"..." says PJ.
"All right, enough with this jib-jab! Let's go on to the fun stuff! Any girls wanna come out here, and..." says Josh.
"And what?" asks Kim suspiciously.
"Catfight?" asks Josh gleefully.
MacKenzie comes out of back stage, texting.
"Hey, guys! Am I late?" she asks.
Toad regains consciousness and blows her a kiss.
"Aww, Toad still likes me?" asks MacKenzie.
She sits down next to Abbey and makes the cuckoo sign. Abbey nods.
"Let's interview Lizza, just for kicks." says Josh.
Lizza comes bouncing down from the stands.
"Hi, Lizza. How are you?" asks Josh.
"Hijoshimfinethankyouimfeelingactuallyreallygoodbecauseihadsomuchcaffeine!" says Lizza.
"Uh, okay. I didn't understand a word you said, but that's cool." says Josh.
"Yeahmanjustchillletlifesuckyouinorsomething." says Lizza.
"Whatever. Lizza, I've had enough of you." says Josh.
Lizza bounces back into the stands.
"All right, poll time! Audience, vote who you'd like to see get interviewed next. PJ, Gustavo, or Toad."
The audience votes, and a minute later...
"All right, the results are..." says Josh. "Toad and Gustavo with zero votes. PJ with 1,696 votes."
"..." says PJ.
"DARN IT!" screams Gustavo.
"I don't wanna be interviewed." says Toad timidly. "He scares me."
PJ slowly creeps out from the stands.
"Hi, Patricia Jane." says Josh. "I think you have a video guest!"
"Uh-oh." says PJ quietly.
"Don't worry. He says he's been looking forward to seeing you." says Josh.
PJ facepalms.
The TV turns on, revealing a seedy-looking kid in his room. Hot girls are behind him, and he is naked.
"Hey, Trish! What's up, bra?" says the kid.
"...You." says PJ.
"Chillax, bra. I'm just partying and having fun and stuff." says the kid.
"Wait..." says PJ. "That's my room."
"Dude, so? You're still in the game, right?" says the kid. "If you win, you could, like, buy a mansion or something."
PJ sighs and shakes her head.
"You're not still in the game?" asks the kid.
A voice is heard from downstairs.
"ANDERSON, GET THE @#$% DOWN HERE. YOU HAVE HISTORY TO DO." says Anderson and PJ's dad. "AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON."
Anderson makes a hand motion, and all the girls jump out the window. A splat is heard.
"Coming, dad." he says.
The camera turns to static.
"..." says PJ.
"That was super awkward. And I'm disappointed. There was no catfight." says Josh.
"Dude, what is up with you and your catfights?" asks Trick.
"Aw, come on. You know it's fun to watch." says Toad.
"Muh." says Trick.
"Remember when Chelsey and Cammy used to fight like every day, guy? You have to remember!" says Toad, nudging Trick.
Trick picks up Toad and throws him towards the ceiling.
The ceiling breaks and a farting noise is heard.
"GUYS. GUYS." says Cammy, running in to the set.
"Cammy, it's not time to interview you yet!" says Josh.
"I know, but this is serious. Come on, guys." says Cammy.
Trick waves to Cammy. Cammy blushes and waves back.
"What's so important that you had to disrupt the aftermath?" asks Josh.
"All right. You won't believe this." says Cammy.
"Is it about catfights?" asks Josh.
"No." says Cammy.
"Then I..." says Josh. "Am not interested."
Josh storms off in a huff.
Billy the intern comes in. "Uh, we need a new host or something." he says quietly.
The smoothie guy comes out, cussing.
"@#$%, @#$% @#$%&." he says.
"Uh, mind hosting?" asks Billy.
"Dude, I was just picking up my @#$%ing ointment from Toad." says the smoothie guy.
"Come on. I'll give you a thousand bucks." says Billy.
"Sold." says the smoothie guy. "What are we doing at the moment?"
"Cammy has something to say, I guess." says Billy.
Billy then sits down next to the smoothie guy.
"I guess I'll cohost." says Billy.
"All right. Guys. While I was driving here in the Taxi of Losers, I saw..." says Cammy. "Dolph."
"Wow, I never could have guessed that." says Northworth rudely.
"Northworth, mind letting me talk?" asks Cammy.
"You saw Dolph. Big deal." says Gustavo.
"Hey, it is a big deal." says Trick.
Gustavo gives Trick the death glare.
"As I was saying..." says Cammy. "He was in the middle of the road. He had no hat, or shirt. It was scary. And he was playing poker..."
"So? Poker is an epic sport." says Toad.
"It's not a sport, noodle-in-a-cup." says Northworth.
"Whatever." says Toad. "And that's not an insult."
"He was playing poker..." says Cammy. "Against himself."
"What?" asks Kim.
"Muh." says PJ.
"How is that even possible?" asks Ori rudely.
"It isn't." says Cammy.
"Ohmygodiloveplayingpokeragainstmyselfidoiteveryday!" says Lizza gleefully.
"That's nice. Liz." says Cammy.
"Anyone else have any Dolph sightings?" asks Billy.
"It's not like anybody @#$%ing cares." says the smoothie guy.
"People do care." says Billy. "Now stop being such a @#$%."
"Wow, this chapter sure is littered with caps lock abuse and cussing." says Trick.
"I saw Dolph, I think." says Northworth. "But nobody cares, since they all hate me."
"We care. We want to know where Dolph went." says Mattie.
"I don't care." giggles Toad.
"I was going to Mickey D's because I wanted some sushi." says Northworth.
"They sell sushi at Mickey D's?" asks Antoine, who has just walked in and has money.
"SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH MY STORY." says Northworth.
"No need to be assertive." says MacKenzie.
"All right. So, I was at the pick up window, and I saw this hot chick, but when I tried to talk to her, she flipped me off then she ripped off her mask and it was Dolph. Yeah, dude, he dressed up as a lady." says Northworth.
"Eww." says Trick.
"And then he tried to get in my car, and said some nasty things." says Northworth.
"That's just..." says Ori.
"Aw, shucks! This guy sounds ca-ree-peee!" says Ori's dad.
Ori menacingly glares at his dad, who sheepishly blushes.
"So, yeah. I called the cops, but they were all Dolph. I don't know how he did that." says Northworth.
"Are you sure it wasn't a dream?" asks Mattie.
"And are you okay? Y'know, mentally?" asks Antoine.
"All right, enough about Dolph." says Billy. "Antoine, did you work things out with Lou?"
"Not really." says Antoine. "2 Guyz broke up."
"Say what?" gasps MacKenzie.
"MacK, I thought you hated my music." says Antoine.
"I've grown to like it." giggles MacKenzie.
"But yeah, 2 Guyz is done, but Lou's dad made him give me some of his money. So, I'm good." says Antoine.
"Aww, that's sweet." says Toad. "For me to poop on. Trololol."
Trick rolls his eyes.
"Y'know, some people are twelve physically, but four or five mentally." says Mattie. "Toad is a prime example."
"Hey, where did Gustavo and Kim go?" asks Abbey.
"Uh, lemme check." says Trick.
Trick walks into the bathroom. Gustavo and Kim are making out.
"...Yuck." says Trick. He then walks out.
"What are they doing, Patrick? Tell us!" says Ori's dad.
Trick rolls his eyes, then says, "Making out."
"Oh, of course." says Cammy. "We're actually a decent couple. We never do that."
"We never do that." mimicks Northworth in a lady voice. Cammy glares.
"Anyone up for 'Ask Billy'?" asks Billy.
"No." says the smoothie guy.
"I mean, besides you. Northworth, do you have a question?" asks Billy.
"Yup, man." says Northworth.
"Okay, let's hear it." says Billy.
"Let's not, and say we didn't." says the smoothie guy.
"All right. There's Swag, Swagger, and Mick Swagger. Swagger likes Mick Swagger, and he's best friends with Swag. But Mick Swagger likes Swag. What should Swag and Swagger do if they want to stay friends?" says Northworth.
"Is this, like, a trick question or something?" says Billy.
"No, man." says Northworth.
"Are you using me to solve your personal problems?" says Billy.
"No, man." says Northworth.
"All right, then. I think we have time for one more video." says Billy.
"Oh, show us the one of people doing stupid and idiotic stuff!" says Toad.
"That happens in every episode, Toad." says a voice.
The audience looks around. They see Vincent, who is on crutches.
"Hey, guys!" he says. "My elimination was disappointing, but whatever."
"Oh, hey Vince." says Trick. Antoine waves.
"Ugh. She's here." says Vincent, pointing to Cammy. "Well, at least she got voted off."
"Suddenly, I'm not as happy to see him anymore..." says Trick.
Billy turns on a video clip.
Chelsey is shown, in the bathroom. She makes sure that nobody is around, then she takes out a bottle of spray tan. The crowd gasps. Chelsey sprays her whole body with tan, then smiles and leaves.
"...Whoa." says MacKenzie.
"..." says PJ.
"Iusespraytanalotbutitdoesnthelpmyskincoloriwonderwhy?" says Lizza.
Kavren is then shown, outside. He sees a trash can. "HARDCORE PARKOUR!" he yells. He tries to jump over the trash can, but fails and hits his groin on the metal. He then slumps over.
Abbey blushes and giggles.
"Abbey, he's not good for you." says Mattie.
Abbey ignores her, and sighs.
"Now that's comedy." says Northworth.
"Aaaand, it looks like we're out of time. Tune i--" says Billy.
The screen turns black, and a rainbow streaks across it.
==Author's Notes==
*These aftermath specials were basically put in for the sake of padding - they took even less time to write than a normal TDRev chapter.
*Anderson from Total Drama Tokyo makes a premature cameo in PJ's video from home, revealing he's her brother. This was right around I started revealing the new Tokyo cast.
*Northworth's "Mick Swagger" bit was a direct quote from the guy who inspired him, presumably said in my 9th grade science class.