Space Jam: A New Legacy/Transcript

[We open in 1998 in Akron, Ohio, where a young LeBron James is about to attend a basketball game.]
Gloria James: All right. My shift’s not over till 9:00. So tell Coach C I’m gonna be a few minutes late picking you up, okay?
Young LeBron: Okay.
Gloria James: Good luck out there today.
Young LeBron: Thanks.
Gloria James: Hey. You know, if I could, I would be in those stands cheering for my baby.
Young LeBron: I know. Next game.
Gloria James: Hey, Bron? You forgetting something?
[The two do their special handshake.]
Young LeBron: Love you, Ma.
Gloria James: I love you too, baby. All right. Go kill it.
[LeBron heads into the school building, where a basketball game is going on. His friend, Malik, arrives.]
Young Malik: What’s up, Bron?
Young LeBron: What’s up, Malik?
[They high-five each other.]
Young Malik: Check it out. (hands him a Game Boy) It’s for you. My dad got me the new color one. Oh, and if it freezes up on you, just smack it really hard. Works every time.
Young LeBron: (as he turns on the Game Boy) Thanks, man.
Young Malik: Let’s go get this win. Phew!
[As Malik heads off, LeBron starts playing Crazy Castle on the Game Boy.]
Bugs Bunny: (in game) Eh, what’s up, Doc?
Coach C: (offscreen) Hey, where Bron at? LeBron James!
Bugs Bunny: (in game) Eh, what’s up…
[Suddenly, the Game Boy is taken by his coach.]
Coach C: What the hell is this?
Young LeBron: Oh, snap!
Coach C: “Oh, snap” nothing, man. Get your tail on the court right now! Whatchu doing?
[LeBron quickly joins the basketball game.]
Coach C: Hey, hey, hey! Iso! Iso for Bron!
Nobody else shoot the ball.
All right, Bron, you keep that ball!
You shoot the ball.
Iso! Iso! Iso!
Coach C: You know what to do, baby. Let’s go. It’s your world.
[students cheering]
[buzzer sounds]
[all groan]
Damn! Damn!
It’s all right, it’s all right.
Damn!
Come on, line up. Line up in front of me.
Line up right here in front of me.
[Later that night, Coach C chats with LeBron about his performance in the game.]
Coach C: Listen, man. I’m not even disappointed about us losing the game tonight ’cause it’s not about that. It’s about you giving your all, and you didn’t do that tonight. LeBron. You wasn’t focused. Getting your head in the game starts before you even put one foot on the court. It starts before you even get to the gym.
Young LeBron: But everybody on the team plays video game…
Coach C: LeBron. This ain’t about everybody, this is about you. Listen, you’re the best basketball player I ever coached. You could be a once-in-a-generation talent if you focus on the game of basketball and not these distractions. You can’t be great without putting in work, right? You got the chance to use basketball to change everything. For your mom, for you, for everybody who you care about. You want that?
Jim Nantz: LeBron James has an NBA body. Six-seven and a half, 240 pounds… plus he has got the complete package.
♪ We clear for takeoff ♪
David Stern: With the first pick in the 2003 NBA draft, the Cleveland Cavaliers select LeBron James.
[crowd cheering]
[hip-hop music playing]
Joe Buck: There he is with his mom, Gloria.
♪ Now fast-forward The kid is the king ♪
♪ Championship so big The box fit in a ring ♪
♪ And make A fantasized matchup ♪
♪ Who could in his prime… ♪
♪ I could shoot from the logo With my foot on the line ♪
♪ I mean, my shoes Too big to fill ♪
♪ My presence on the court… ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ Longer than a message At the bottom of C-SPAN ♪
♪ Just a kid who played For you fans in Cleveland… ♪
David Stern: And the NBA Most Valuable Player goes to…
LeBron James: And this fall, I’m gonna take my talents to South Beach.
Kevin Harlan: LeBron James with his first field goal as a member of the Miami Heat.
David Stern: The Most Valuable Player trophy of the 2012 NBA Finals.
[crowd cheering]
Mike Breen: The 2013 NBA Championship resides once again in Miami!
LeBron James: I will not just shut up and dribble.
♪ They can’t hold me Can’t block me… ♪
LeBron James: We in the White House right now. This is like… Mom, I made it.
Announcer: LeBron James is going back to Cleveland.
LeBron James: I’mma do what makes my city happy. I love you. I’m back!
Man: LeBron James makes a great American story.
Mike Breen: Oh, blocked by James! It’s over!
LeBron James: Cleveland! This is for you!
Man 2: LeBron James is a Los Angeles Laker.
Kevin Harlan: Here comes LeBron!
Mark Jackson: My goodness, that’s the stuff that dreams are made of.
Mike Breen: Two seconds to go. James, a buzzer beater! You bet!
♪ We clear for takeoff ♪ [echoing]
[hip-hop music playing]
♪ It’s game time now ♪
♪ We got it jumping Right at tip-off ♪
♪ Whole team’s been waiting On me, prepare for liftoff ♪
♪ Never cheat the process ♪
♪ That’s something You can’t rip off ♪
♪ Made it Through the struggle ♪
♪ And prospered Through every pitfall ♪
♪ Like he is Sleepwalking with… ♪
Darius James: So how much more work does your video game need? It’s been months.
Dom James: It’s almost ready.
Darius James: Like how you’re almost ready to tell Dad about the E3 Game Camp next weekend?
Dom James: I’m waiting on the right time.
Darius James: Honestly, I just think you should rip the Band-Aid off and ask him.
Dom James: You’re just saying that ’cause he says yes to everything you ask.
Darius James: That’s ’cause I’m nice.
Dom James: You’re not that nice.
Darius James: That’s big talk. See if you can back it up. (throws the ball to Dom) Come on, let’s see what you can do.
Dom James: All right. Don’t get crossed.
Oh! Gotcha!
[chuckles]
Darius James: Yeah, okay. Come on, bro.
[both chuckle]
LeBron James: (offscreen) Dom.
[Dom turns to see his father entering the basketball court.]
LeBron James: What was that?
Dom James: An open shot.
LeBron James: And if you’re gonna be out here, it’s about giving everything that you got. And not whatever that was. Where’s your fundamentals?
Dom James: We having fun.
LeBron James: Everything in between these four lines is work.
Dom James: Who said I wasn’t working?
LeBron James: This thing right here. 
Darius James: Told you not to bring that out here.
LeBron James: Come on, Dom. This isn’t a game. I need you focusing more… [Darius mouths behind LeBron.] …instead of playing with these toys. (to Darius) Darius, chill out. You know I got full court vision.
Darius James: How does he do that?
LeBron James: Ball.
[The basketball shooting machine fires a ball and LeBron grabs it.]
LeBron James: Show me that step-back move I taught you. (throws the ball to Dom) You got this, son. In and out. Crossover.
Dom James: In and out.
LeBron James: Step back. Come on, Dom. You gotta concentrate. (to Darius) Darius, show him the move.
Darius James: Watch me. Ball.
[The basketball shooting machine fires a ball and Darius grabs it.]
Darius James: In and out. Crossover. Step back. Shoot.
[He shoots the ball into the hoop.]
LeBron James: Yep. See, that’s ’cause your brother been putting in that work.
Darius James: I ball all day.
[The basketball shooting machine fires a ball at his face.]
Darius James: Ow!
[Dom laughs at this.]
LeBron James: Dom. Focus. You got basketball camp next weekend. Them boys gonna be coming at your neck. Seeing what you got.
[Dom drops the ball and glumly walks away.]
LeBron James: Oh, we quitting on each other now? Can’t be great without putting in work.
[Hearing this, Dom heads back to the court as his mother and young sister arrive.]
LeBron James: All right. That’s my guy. Let’s get some work done. Enough of these games.
Dom James: Okay. I’m ready.
Kamiyah James: [sighs] Boys! Y’all can’t stay out here all day. It’s dinnertime.
LeBron James: Oh, man.
Kamiyah James: Really, Bron?
Dom James: What are we having for dinner? Spaghetti and meatball?
[The basketball shooting machine fires a ball at Darius.]
Darius James: Ow!
LeBron James: Ooh, that’s my favorite.
Darius James: Damn!
[Later that night, Kamiyah talks with LeBron about Dom.]
Kamiyah James: We talked about you affirming Dom more. Spending some unstructured time with him.
LeBron James: We was just outside. I mean, how much more spontaneous do you want me to be?
Kamiyah James: Babe, I am worried that you are pushing him too hard.
LeBron James: I mean, the kid keep telling me he want the best coaching so he can be the best player on the court.
Kamiyah James: Have you thought about talking to your son about something other than basketball?
LeBron James: Like what?
Kamiyah James: [sighs] Like how Dom built a video game. He’s 12 and he built his own game.
LeBron James: Yeah, I know. I mean, that’s great. I mean, but if I don’t push him, if I don’t stay on him, all the distractions…
Kamiyah James: He doesn’t need a coach. He needs his dad.
[doors beeping]
[digital trilling]
[Man 1] LeBron James, a hit.
[Man 1] James…
[Man 2] LeBron James…
[snippets of TV commentaries playing]
[digital trilling]
[snippets on TV commentaries play in fast forward]
Al-G Rhythm: I’ve searched far and wide for the perfect partner for this launch, and I’ve finally found him. LeBron James.
[cooing]
[sighs] Pete, he’s a family man, an entrepreneur, a social media superstar with millions of fans worldwide. Algorithmically speaking, he’s more than an athlete. He’s a king.
Pete: Hmm? [babbles]
Al-G Rhythm: I know I’m just an algorithm, Pete. That’s precisely why I need King James. I’m stuck inside the Serververse. No one knows who I am or what I do. But that all changes today. Because today, Warner Bros. launches the revolutionary technology that I masterminded. Today, it’s my time to shine. Just look at this guy, Pete. [chuckles] Oh, he is the key element to this entire operation. [Pete babbles] Once I partner with King James and combine his fame with my incredible tech… I will finally get the recognition and respect that I so richly deserve. LeBron James, get ready.
[computer chimes]
Oh, hello.
A new idea from the algorithm.
I’m listening.
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
♪ You want it bad I want it more ♪
♪ Sorry you had To settle the score ♪
♪ You want it bad I want it more ♪
♪ Sorry you had To settle the score ♪
♪ They just better be Taking over ♪
♪ You want it bad I want it more ♪
♪ Sorry you had To settle the score ♪
♪ Black boots on the pavement ♪
♪ Peace mode like I’m Out of them cages… ♪
[computer chimes]
[chuckles]
[knocking on door]
LeBron James: Hey, son. What you doing?
Dom James: Um, just building my game.
LeBron James: Is this the one you’ve been working on?
Dom James: Actually, it’s basically done, but I… Here. Just… I still have to figure out some of the player designs.
LeBron James: Whoa. Who are those guys?
Dom James: Oh, those are people around the world tuning in to my livestream. It’s pretty cool, huh?
LeBron James: Okay.
Dom James: And this is how it works. You do combos and moves, and the better you do, the more people tune in.
LeBron James: Let me see a couple of those combo moves.
Dom James: Crossover. Foul line!
LeBron James: Oh, that was nice.
Dom James: Ooh! Posterized!
LeBron James: Posterized? Is this not real basketball?
Dom James: Well, I put a spin to it. You can get style points. Power-ups.
Announcer: Count it!
Dom James: It’s like basketball, but better. You just play for fun. Remember fun, Dad?
LeBron James: Tsk. I am fun. Man, give me that. Show you how fun I am. Kick your butt in this game. Dang, I miss this, man. I ain’t… Whoa.
Announcer: Gimme dat!
LeBron James: Were you trying to do my move?
Dom James: Yeah, I put it in the game.
Both: In and out. Crossover. Step back.
Dom James: Let it go.
[beeping]
Announcer: Uh-oh!
Dom James: [mouthing] No.
[glitching]
LeBron James: Why… Why he freeze?
Dom James: No, no, no.
LeBron James: Man, can you fix it? ‘Cause I don’t want… Hey, don’t try to blame me for that.
Dom James: No. No, no. Don’t erase my char… My entire character is gone. It’s gonna take me at least a week to rebuild this.
LeBron James: Listen, son. Setbacks happen. Adversity is a part of the process, man. But if you’re passionate about something, you gotta learn how to push through it. You got me? Hey, I think I’ve got something that will cheer you up. I’m meeting at Warner Bros. about some high-tech movie thing. You should come. Cool?
Dom James: Yeah, Dad.
LeBron James: Oh, snap. Did Dad just come up with a dope idea?
Dom James: Please don’t dab.
LeBron James: Oh, what’d you just say? Did you just say, “Please, Dad, dab”?
Dom James: No, I said…
LeBron James: Dab. Uncle Malik will be here in 15. Let’s roll.
[Later, Malik and the James arrive at Warner Bros. Studios.]
Malik: It’s called Warner 3000 and it’s supposed to be next level! This could be the new wave!
[Inside the boardroom, they watch a video for Warner 3000.]
Al G. Rhythm: Hello. I’m Al G. Rhythm. And as you might have guessed, I am an algorithm here at Warner Bros. The studio behind all the classics. But now, it’s time for our greatest creation yet, Warner 3000. This will revolutionize the entire entertainment industry, and we want you to be on our team, King James. Now, we know you’re busy, but we can make it very easy for you.
[A virtual avatar of LeBron appears onscreen.]
Al G. Rhythm: Because our brand-new Warner 3000 technology will scan you right into the movies.
[The tech scans LeBron and creates a copy of him.]
Al G. Rhythm: Oh, it’s like looking into a mirror, huh, LeBron? [laughs] Think about it, Batman versus LeBron.
[Batman turns to face LeBron, who's dressed as Mr. Freeze. He uses his freeze gun to freeze the Caped Crusader.]
Al G. Rhythm: LeBron of Thrones.
[He sits on the throne before being crushed by a dragon with LeBron riding on it. It breathes fire, transitioning to LeBron grabbing the snitch in a Quidditch match.]
Al G. Rhythm: LeBron and the Chamber of Secrets. The possibilities are endless. You’ll be the king of Warner Bros. That’s the power of Warner 3000. Say yes, LeBron, and together, we’ll make mind-blowing entertainment forever.
[He and Virtual LeBron fist-bump.]
Huh? Huh?
[The video ends.]
So, what do you say?
Pretty sweet, right? [laughing]
[woman] I mean, look at him.
Look at that face. He’s speechless.
He loves it!
How about that algorithm, huh?
[over speakers] Pretty brilliant. He came up with the entire presentation. I should watch my back. [laughs]
Al G. Rhythm: Yes! Thank you! Finally, huh? Put some ‘spec on my name, right? [Pete cheers] Oh, man.
LeBron James: [on speakers] That was, um… That was something. Right, Malik? Listen, guys, I’m a ballplayer. You know, and athletes acting, that never goes well. I’m sorry, guys. This is all just… [Pete cooing happily] It’s just not me. And I can’t afford to take time away from the game.
Malik: Whoa, Bron. Let’s not be too hasty here.
LeBron James: Malik.
Malik: Let’s just hear what they’re talking about.
LeBron James: Nah, nah, nah. With all due respect, with all due respect, this idea is just straight-up bad. That algorithm is busted.
Al G. Rhythm: [chuckles] Busted?
LeBron James: It’s among the worst ideas I’ve ever heard. Top five, easily.
Okay. Thank you. Thank you!
That’s exactly what I was think…
You’re saying what I’m thinking.
This is trash, this algorithm.
You’re cancelled, algorithm!
[man] What a terrible idea. So stupid.
[woman] So stupid. This is what happens when…
Al G. Rhythm: Pete, tell me he did not just say “stupid”!
Pete: Uh-oh.
Dom James: I don’t know. I think the algorithm’s pretty cool. I’ve got a question. Is it a heuristic algorithm or some kind of matrix variant?
[chuckles] Dom, using the medulla oblongata.
I think we got a little Stevie Jobs on our hands.
Dom James: Yeah, I’m actually building my own video game.
Oh, nice, your own video game.
Dom James: You heard of the E3 Game Design Camp, right?
Yeah.
Dom James: Well, there’s gonna be one next weekend, and I’m going. There’s gonna be a whole bunch of other coders there.
LeBron James: Hold… Dom.
Dom James: I’m actually looking forward…
LeBron James: No. You can’t go to that. Basketball camp is next weekend.
Dom James: I’m not going to basketball camp, Dad.
LeBron James: Dom, you don’t have to be scared. You got amazing potential on the court, and I can help you get there.
Dom James: That’s not what I want, Dad.
LeBron James: Dom. Wonderful to meet… Excuse me, guys.
[door closes]
Dom!
Malik: Hey, hey, I’mma catch you at the car.
[door closes]
[whispers] What?
So, is this a hard pass or…?
Al G. Rhythm: [grunts in frustration; in distorted voice] Who does this guy think he is? Huh? Rejecting me? Humiliating me? [Pete whimpers; breathing deeply] Okay. All right. I tried being a team player, but those days are over. I’m done playing by everybody else’s rules. It is my game now.
LeBron James: Dom! I’m your father. When I say stop, you stop.
Al G. Rhythm: Right this way, King James.
LeBron James: Dom, do not get in that elevator! Come on, Dom. You know I can’t let you back out of camp like that. You made a commitment.
Dom James: You make me hate basketball.
LeBron James: You don’t mean that.
Dom James: I do. Everything is always what you want. You never let me do what I wanna do. You never let me just do me.
LeBron James: “Do me”? You think I got to “do me” when I was 12?
[static crackling]
LeBron James: Hold up. Wrong floor.
Dom James: Warner 3000.
[chimes]
Al G. Rhythm: [on speakers] Welcome, Dominic James.
[digital trilling]
Dom James: Wow, this is cool.
LeBron James: Dom? Stop playing, man. You know your mom don’t like it when I don’t have you home for dinner on time. All this computer stuff is your thing, not mine. Dom? Dom!
[tense music playing]
Dom?
What in The Matrix hell?
[yelps]
[orchestral music playing]
LeBron James: Dom! What’s going on? Are you okay?
Dom James: Yeah, I’m fine. Wow. This must be some kind of immersive tech like holography with haptic technology, or something like VR…
LeBron James: Dude, dude, dude. Just tell me what’s going on.
Dom James: Dad, I think we’re digitized. We’re in the computer!
LeBron James: We’re in the computer?
Dom James: Dad.
LeBron James: You know I’m claustrophobic.
Dom James: Dad, chill out.
LeBron James: How do we get out of here?
Dom James: Dad. Dad.
LeBron James: Where’s the elevators? Hey, Siri, can you let us out of here, please?
Dom James: Siri?
Al G. Rhythm: [in villainous voice] Who goes there? Who dares disturb the great and powerful Al G.? [chuckles; in normal voice] Look at your faces. You were terrified! [mimics gasp and then laughs] Priceless.
[dramatic music plays]
See? Nothing to be afraid of.
LeBron James: The computer’s Black.
Dom James: I can see that.
Al G. Rhythm: Hello. Hi. Wow. King James. I am a big fan. [chuckles] I just… I don’t know, I thought you’d be taller somehow. Hmm.
Dom James: These graphics are unreal.
Al G. Rhythm: Right?
LeBron James: Dom, don’t touch the silver computer man. What’s going on? And who are you, man?
Al G. Rhythm: Uh… [clears throat] You’re right. Forgive me. Where are my manners? I am King Al G. Rhythm.
LeBron James: Oh, you’re that guy from the video.
Al G. Rhythm: Yes, I am. [chuckles] And this… Ha-ha. Oh, gentlemen, this… this is the Warner Bros. Serververse. Just make you feel all insignificant, don’t it?
LeBron James: [scoffs] Are all computers like this?
[However, his son is gone.]
LeBron James: Dom? Dom?
Al G. Rhythm: Uh-oh.
LeBron James: What’d you do to my son? Where’s Dom?
Al G. Rhythm: Who’s Dom?
[LeBron lunges at him, but Al G. gets out of the way and appears behind him.]
Al G. Rhythm: [chuckles] Dude, chill out. You’re gonna get your son back.
LeBron James: There better not be a “but” at the end of…
Al G. Rhythm: But there’s something you’re gonna do for me first.
LeBron James: Like what?
Al G. Rhythm: You know, you, uh… [scoffs] You really shouldn’t have rejected my ideas back there. That was a mistake. Now, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to help me fulfill my destiny.
LeBron James: Listen, man, if you don’t produce my son in five seconds…
Al G. Rhythm: Eh-eh! Uh-uh. No, no, no. All that pointing and aggression. No, no, no. You’re not running things in here. I am the king of this domain. I’m not your coach. Now, the only way you’re getting your son back is if you and I play a little game called basketball.
LeBron James: [scoffs] You wanna play me in basketball?
Al G. Rhythm: Well, you didn’t wanna be in the movies. You wanted to “focus on your game.” Well, guess what? Now you can focus on this game. You and me, we’re gonna put on a show, baby. We are gonna play a game of basketball in front of the largest captive audience ever. All your followers, they’re all gonna be watching. And when they see the two of us together, I will finally step out of the shadows and into the light. And the entire world is gonna know the name of King Al G. Rhythm. [chuckles and sighs] But you know what, I’m a good sport. Tell you what, if you win, you and your son can skedaddle on out of here.
LeBron James: And what if I lose?
Al G. Rhythm: Yeah. Wrinkle. If you lose… Well, when you lose, you’re just gonna have to stay here in the Serververse with me… [echoing as clones of himself appear] forever and ever and ever and ever.
Pete: Oh!
Al G. Rhythm: [chuckles] So, you better play like you mean it.
LeBron James: You know, you think this is a game. I’m calling the authorities on you. ‘Cause what you got going on here…
Al-G Rhythm: On this phone?
LeBron James: How’d you do that?
Al-G Rhythm: LeBron, why are you worried about the authorities when you should be out there looking for a team? Pete, send this clown to the rejects.
LeBron James: Wait…
[Pete pulls the lever and the dial spins to show tons of world before stopping at Tune World. Then, LeBron is sent falling down. Pete waves goodbye.]
Al-G Rhythm: [chuckles] I guess he fell for it.
[LeBron falls past a planet based on Game of Thrones, followed by another on Casablanca and Maltese Falcon.]
Rick Blaine: (voiceover) Here’s looking at you, kid.
[He flies past the world of Jetsons and Harry Potter.]
LeBron James: No, no, no, no, no! What is happening?
[Then, he flies through the planet of Oz.]
Wicked Witch: (voiceover) I’ll get you, my pretty.
[After flying through the Matrix planet, he is heading towards Tune World, home of the Tune World. Rings appear as jolly music plays.]
LeBron James: No, no, no, no, no, no!
[Soon, he lands in the middle of the desert, with the dust cloud forming a basketball going into a hoop. Then, he peeks out of a hole shaped like the Nike symbol. However, he's now in animated form. He also sees his hair and beard have switched places, so he fixes it. As he gets out of the hole...]
LeBron James: What is this? [gasps to see his lower half squished] I’m shorter than Kevin Hart! No, no, no! [blows]
[legs whirring]
[yells]
What the…? I’m a cartoon? Is this where the game is gonna happen?
[clock chiming in distance]
Where is everybody?
Hello? [echoes]
Hello?
Hello?
[loudly] Hello?
[wind whistling]
“Rabbit season”?
[deep rumbling]
[muffled explosion]
What the…?
Ahh! Get away! Leave me alone!
Somebody help!
Bugs Bunny: What’s up, Doc?
[screams]
Bugs Bunny: Duck season!
LeBron James: Bugs Bunny?
[branch breaks]
Whoa!
Bugs! I can’t believe… Bring it in, man. Listen, I need your help.
Bugs Bunny: Eh, you missed your cue.
LeBron James: Oh. (rips the sign to show...) Rabbit season.
Bugs Bunny: (dresses LeBron as Elmer) All right, here. Now say, [mimicking Elmer while morphing into his body] “I’m huntin’ wabbits…” [in normal voice] …and try to chase me.
LeBron James: Bugs, wait! Come back! [grunts]
[sighs]
I should’ve seen that coming.
[engine roaring]
[yelps]
Bugs Bunny: Coming through!
[LeBron screaming]
Bugs Bunny: Say, have I seen you somewhere? Hey, you’re that famous basketball guy. Come on, aren’t you LeBron James?
[screaming resumes]
LeBron James: Bugs Bunny knows who I am?
[tires screeching]
Bugs Bunny: Of course. I may live in a hole in the ground, but we still get TNT.
LeBron James: Oh, my God, is that a…?
Bugs Bunny: Yep. Cover your ears, Doc.
LeBron James: Why would you do that?
[engine roaring]
[LeBron screams]
Bugs Bunny: I’m a Tune, Doc. I can survive anything.
LeBron James: I’m not a Tune! [echoing]
No, no, no! Ahhh!
Ouch!
Ouch! Ouch!
Ouch!
[grunting]
[splutters]
LeBron James: I do not understand this world.
Bugs Bunny: Eh, my bad, Doc.
[LeBron grunting]
LeBron James: [spits] How long have you been alone here?
Bugs Bunny: Alone? You’re never alone when you got friends like mine, Doc. Ain’t that right, Porky?
LeBron James: Uh… That’s just a pile of pumpkins.
Bugs Bunny: [gasps] Porky, did you hear what he just called you? So, what brings you to Tune Woild, Doc?
[grunts]
Torn meniscus?
[screams]
Midlife crisis? Ran out of teams to play for?
[grunting]
LeBron James: Uh… All I know is a computer dude kidnapped my son, and I have to play basketball to get him back. His name is Al G. Rhythm?
Bugs Bunny: Did you say Al G. Riddim?
[horse whinnying in distance]
LeBron James: Yeah, that’s the guy. Rhythm, Riddim… Whatever.
Bugs Bunny: [in Southern accent] T'at nefarious nimrod nixed my nearest and dearest from Tune Woild.
LeBron James: He kicked them out?
Bugs Bunny: Well, not exactly. He buttered them up, sayin' t'ey were wasting their time. That there was much more to see in the Soivervoise than old Tune Woild. Made ’em turn their backs on who they really were. They all left, all of them. And I wish them all the best in their new endeavors.
LeBron James: Ah, man. Sorry, Bugs. That’s terrible. Family’s everything.
Bugs Bunny: Yep. Family.
LeBron James: Well, Bugs Bunny, I need to assemble an elite team of A-plus ballplayers to help crush this Al G. guy. And I need to do it before that game clock runs down.
Bugs Bunny: Hol… Hold up, Doc. [in normal tone] So, you want me, a talking cartoon bunny, to play with you, an NBA superstar, in a high-stakes basketball game? (aside) Sounds awfully familiar.
LeBron James: Who are you talking to? But, yeah, that actually sums it up well.
Bugs Bunny: Mmm. I think I know a way that can help the both of us. I declare this land for planet Earth.
[distant whirring]
[door beeps]
Marvin the Martian: Not so fast, furry creature.
[grunts] Excuse me.
[barks]
LeBron James: Marvin the Martian? For real?
Marvin the Martian: I claim this planet in the name of Mars.
Bugs Bunny: [gasps] My goodness. My mistake, partner. I thought this land was in the clear. Well, we’ll just get back in our ship and out of your way.
Marvin the Martian: Oh, it’s quite all right. Everyone makes mistakes.
Bugs Bunny: Come on. Let’s boogie.
LeBron James: What? You’re stealing his ship. I didn’t agree to this.
Marvin the Martian: My ship!
[grunts angrily] Blasted rabbit.
[gun powers up]
LeBron James: Whoa, whoa! Bugs! Help! Help! Whoa!
Marvin the Martian: Take this, rabbit.
Bugs Bunny: Back at ya.
Marvin the Martian: Huh?
Bugs Bunny: You coming, Doc? Or would you rather hang back with a cranky Martian and his space mutt?
LeBron James: Just watch out for the… Just watch out for the… [grunts] I just said, watch out for… [thud] Bugs!
Marvin the Martian: You have made me very angry. Very angry, indeed.
[barks]
[R&B music playing]
Dom James: This place is awesome.
Al G. Rhythm: It really is.
Dom James: Wait, where’s my dad?
Al G. Rhythm: Your dad? Oh! He’s out there looking for a team.
Dom James: A team?
Al G. Rhythm: Yeah. He challenged me to a basketball game. I mean, that’s weird, right?
Dom James: He just left?
Al G. Rhythm: Kind of his M.O., right? [chuckles] I mean, he left Cleveland, he left Miami. He left Cleveland again. Look out, Lakers, huh? [chuckles] Come on, don’t look so sad, Prince. I mean, you don’t need your old man bossing you around anyway. Look at where you are. This is the greatest view in the entire Serververse. Your old man is missing out.
Dom James: It is pretty amazing. Who built this?
Al G. Rhythm: Well, someone brilliant. Visionary. Incredibly good looking. Modest. With a multitudinous vocabulary. Hint, you’re looking right at him, kid. [laughs] But all my extraordinary gifts, they’re nothing compared to yours.
Dom James: Yeah, right.
Al G. Rhythm: It’s true, Dom. I saw you back there in that boardroom through some camera-phones, and a printer, and a fax machine, and a thermostat. It’s very clear how smart you are. [Pete babbling] And Pete tells me that you hate video games. [Pete babbling] You create video games. Why don’t you enunciate? [Pete imitates Al G. mockingly] How many times do we have to go through this? I’m the problem? Get out of here. Get out of here [Pete groans] Sorry. Heard you made your own character, too.
Dom James: Yeah, but he got deleted because of some stupid glitch.
Al G. Rhythm: Ah, don’t worry about that. We can rebuild him.
Dom James: You could?
Al G. Rhythm: Absolutely. Make him greater than he was. You wouldn’t even have to lift a finger. There’s a shortcut for everything in the Serververse.
Dom James: What?
Al G. Rhythm: Aw. Thinking of your dad again, huh? How he’s always… (turns into LeBron) “You can’t be great without putting in work.”
Dom James: Yeah. How did you know that?
Al G. Rhythm: I know a lot about you, Dom. Any device with a camera, I can see you. If it’s got a mic, [clicks tongue] I can hear you. Hey, let’s get a look at that game of yours.
[vehicle horn blares]
[metal clanging]
Bugs Bunny: Captain’s log, Captain James T. Bunny. Intergalactic space traveler on a five-year mission. My crew has been scattered to the far, far reaches of the Soivervoise. Marooned on strange, inhospitable worlds. I’ve commandeered Marvin’s ship in an effort to reassemble the team.
LeBron James: Yo, Bugs. Check it out. Look what I found.
[alarm blaring]
Bugs Bunny: Oh, that’s not good.
LeBron James: Were you saying something?
Bugs Bunny: Uh, I was just asking you… Hey, what’s that for, Doc?
LeBron James: Gotta make a list. We’re gonna need the most powerful Warner Bros. characters for this team. Now, let’s see. Who to get? Hmm. Gotta start with Superman. Man, I could’ve used him on the Cavs. Ooh. King Kong. He’d be a beast on the boards.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, listen, Doc… Try not to get your hopes up too much. You might not be able to get all those top guys for the team. This ain’t the Miami Heat, you know.
LeBron James: We’re gonna need a strong power forward. Iron Giant. Put him on the same team as his hero, Superman.
Bugs Bunny: I’m just saying it might be good to have a backup plan.
LeBron James: Wow. This Serververse is massive. So many different worlds to explore. I wish Dom was here to see this. So, how come you stayed on Tune World?
Bugs Bunny: [sighs] Tune Woild is my home. It’s the only place where I can be me. Where I belong.
LeBron James: Yo! Is that Harry Potter World? Awesome! Hufflepuff? I knew it!
Bugs Bunny: Nerd alert.
[The spaceship approaches the DC planet.]
LeBron James: Oh, yeah! Metropolis. I can’t wait to see what I turn into here. Oh, it’s gonna be somebody dope.
[Soon, they drive down the streets of Metropolis in a rabbit version of the Batmobile. Bugs is dressed as Batman while LeBron is...]
LeBron James: Robin? I’m freaking Robin? And why are we chasing a runaway train?
[A train speeds past some citizens, including Clark Kent, James Gordon, and Jimmy Olsen.]
Bugs Bunny: We’re in DC World, Doc. (gets out a grappling hook) And where there’s trouble, there’s superheroes.
LeBron James: Whoa!
Driver: [muffled grunting] Hmm?
[“Superman Theme” playing]
Daffy Duck: Gadzooks! Some despicable villain tied up the driver.
Porky Pig: [stuttering] Yeah, sorry.
Daffy Duck: Unless someone stops this thing, it’ll crash straight into…
[beeping]
…an orphanage. Of course.
Porky Pig: [stuttering] This is not good.
Daffy Duck: Luckily, Super Duck is here to save the…
Cut! What are you doing here, rabbit?
Bugs Bunny: Say, we need a couple of guys to win a basketball game.
LeBron James: Hold up, you want these guys?
Daffy Duck: Basketball? Are you kidding me? This stunt here is gonna get me into the Justice League penthouse! With free parking. And now, the hero, Super Duck, who is me, will pull this brake, and save the day. 
[He pulls the brake, which breaks off.]
Porky Pig: [stutters] Th-th-that’s all, folks.
[both gasp]
[both screaming]
[metallic rattling]
Whoa!
[screaming continues]
[screaming continues]
[both resume screaming]
[both spit, screaming]
[muffled crash]
[both resume screaming]
[happy chatter]
The… The children!
[both continue screaming]
[train stops]
[Bugs Bunny continues screaming]
Huh?
[all cheering]
Uh, we did it?
Daffy Duck: Oh, no, you don’t, rabbit. I did this. It was me. I masterminded this entire operation. It was me!
It was him. It was definitely the pig.
Porky Pig: Yeah, what?
LeBron James: Any of you play any basketball?
[heavy thud]
[sirens wailing]
Daffy Duck: You know, on second thought, I love basketball! Dibs on coach.
[upbeat music playing]
LeBron James: All right, we’re off to a… [clears throat] decent start. But now we gotta crew up, build our elite squad, so I can get my son back.
Bugs Bunny: And that’s exactly what we’ll do. It’s draft day.
[Cut to Road Runner running through the world of Mad Max, particularly Fury Road.]
Road Runner: Beep, beep.
[Wile E. Coyote appears as one of the War Boys, spraying chrome on his mouth before holding up a sign reading, "WITNESS ME!"]
War Boy: Witness!
War Boys: Witness!
Road Runner: Beep, beep.
[upbeat hip-hop music continues playing]
LeBron James: This guy?!
Bugs: Yeah. He’s explosive.
Road Runner: Beep, beep.
I know what you need. You need a player.
Yeah.
Road Runner: Beep, beep.
[Daffy screams. Cut to Austin Powers himself.]
Austin Powers: Yeah, baby! Yeah!
[Cut to a scene in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.]
Number Two: He is exactly like you in every way.
[The door opens and the camera pans down to show Elmer Fudd, dressed as Mini-Me. He laughs.]
Number Two: Except 1/8th your size.
Elmer Fudd: Sylvester, is that you?
[Sylvester is seen in Dr. Evil's arms as Mr. Bigglesworth.]
Sylvester: Sufferin’ succotash! What are you doing here?!
[Cut back in the spaceship.]
LeBron James: Can we just get some players who are at least tall enough to ride a roller coaster?
[Cut to a scene in Casablanca inside Rick's Cafe Americain.]
Ilsa Lund: Sing it, Sam.
[Cut to the piano player being Yosemite Sam.]
Yosemite Sam: Ooh. You got baggage, lady. I can relate. (sings) You must… 
[yelps] What? What?
Oh, come on, man.
Bugs Bunny: Well, with the hat on, he’s at least 4’2″.
Yosemite Sam: 4’3″, varmint!
[Cut back to the spaceship.]
LeBron James: Bugs, I’m getting the feeling that I need to be very literal with you.
[Suddenly, Taz drops down and lands on the window, licking against the glass. They look up to see he was delivered by Rick and Morty.]
Rick Sanchez: We’re done running tests on your badger thing. It turns out his condition is irreversible.
Morty Smith: I’ll never erase what I saw from my brain.
Rick Sanchez: He’s your problem now, dum-dums!
[The two fly away in their spaceship.]
LeBron James: Yo, Bugs, does this thing bite?
Foghorn Leghorn: Winter, I say, winter is coming!
[screeches]
Daffy Duck: You know what we’re missing?
LeBron James: Everything. We’re missing everything.
Bugs: Some veteran leadership?
Daffy Duck: You read my mind.
[Cut to a scene from The Matrix, where police burst into an apartment.]
Officer: Police! Hands on your head!
[Granny is seen dressed as Trinity.]
Granny: Can’t a lady check her Twitter?
[Speedy zips in as Neo.]
Speedy Gonzales: Abuela, let’s do this. [chuckles] What’s happenin’, bro? 
[The officer shoots at Speedy, who goes into bullet time.]
Speedy Gonzales: Arriba! Arri… (a bullet rips through his sombrero) Mi sombrero! Epa! Epa-epa! (as he runs from the bullets) Neo ain’t got nothing on me, bro.
[Granny jumps in the air and the camera pans around her.]
Granny: Oo-hi-yah!
[She kicks the officer through tons of walls.]
Granny: Oh.
[Suddenly, Bugs and LeBron arrive in Matrix attire.]
Bugs: Hi-yah! Hi-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-yay! What did I miss?
LeBron James: Hey, Granny. Speedy.
[Bugs waves to them. Cut back to the spaceship.]
Porky Pig: All right, everybody. [stutters] Group picture.
Daffy: So, uh, has anybody seen Tweety?
[Sylvester gags up Tweety. Speedy exclaims in Spanish]
Tweety: What year is this?
Speedy Gonzales: Man! You got smelly. 
Yosemite Sam: Gross!
LeBron James: You’re kidding, right?
Granny: Oh, Tweety!
LeBron James: This is not the team I asked for.
Bugs Bunny: Relax, Doc. This is the team you wanna go up against Al G.
Porky Pig: Okay, everyone, say cheese.
Bugs Bunny: Best team in the whole wide Soivervoise.
[explodes]
Daffy Duck: Mother…
LeBron James: Fine. But you gotta get me at least one real ballplayer, Bugs. Just one.
Bugs Bunny: Well, I got just the player you need. A true friend of the court. Trust me, she ain’t busy.
Amazonians: [chanting] Lola! Lola! Lola!
Wonder Woman: Today will be the most challenging day of your life, Lola Bunny. You have earned the right to become one of us. But first, you must pass these final trials.
Lola Bunny: I’m ready, Princess Diana.
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Pardon me.
Amazon 1: Down in front!
Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me.
Amazon 2: Ow! That was my toe! Watch it!
There she is. Lola!
Lola! Lola!
Wonder Woman: You must complete all the obstacles before time runs out. Begin!
Giddyap!
[horse whinnies]
[whinnies]
Lola Bunny: Whoa!
Bugs Bunny: Hey, Lola, we need your help.
LeBron James: We gotta play a basketball game!
[grunts, yells]
Ow! Ow!
Listen, I know it’s been a while, but…
I’m kind of busy here!
I got this!
[grunting]
Come on, Lola, this is our big chance.
This is LeBron James.
How often do you get to play with an NBA superstar?
Lola Bunny: Been there, done that!
[Lola yelling]
Bugs Bunny: Huh. That’s a good point. But basketball is who you are, Lola.
Uh-oh.
I don’t play anymore. I spent years training for this. Do not mess it up for me.
Bugs Bunny: Sorry, Doc. I guess she is busy.
We can’t die here!
I have to save my son!
What?
Calm down, Cleveland. I got this. [clears throat; loudly] Lola, we need your help!
This lava is gonna be really hot! [screams]
[grunting]
[sighs]
Lola Bunny: [sighs] I… I failed.
Wonder Woman: A warrior is judged not only by her skills, but by her values. You are now an Amazon.
[crowd cheering]
Lola Bunny: I am? I am!
Wonder Woman: Now, go with your friends. Help them win this battle of the baskets.
Lola Bunny: I will help you deliver justice to the one they call Al G., and save the son of The Bron.
Hey, guys!
Tune Squad: Lola!
Hi, Lola.
Lola Bunny: Good to see you!
Yo, Bugs, you coming?
[upbeat music playing]
Bugs Bunny: Wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Yeah, Bugs! Here we go.
[Bugs Bunny gasps]
Dom James: Nah, nah.
Oh, I got the ball. Let’s go.
No.
I got you now.
Dom James: Oh. Ah.
Announcer: Dunk-tastic!
You dunked on me? Man…
[chuckles]
I still can’t believe you made this by yourself, Dom.
I mean, people need to see this.
You’re not just a prince, you’re a wizard.
Come here.
Wow.
Dom James: That’s Diana Taurasi.
Al G. Rhythm: How’d you build her?
Anthony Davis: Yo, Dame!
What’s good, bro?
Dom James: Dad hooked me up with some of his friends at an NBA charity event. I thought maybe they could help me with the character designs for my game.
Game?
Dom James: Yeah, I’m building a video game.
Okay.
You know you’re gonna need a shooter, and I’m that dude, so…
Wait a minute.
I’m next, because if Klay’s in it, then I’m in it.
Hey, if I’m gonna be in this game, I need a superpower or something.
Between me and you, I need one of those special modes.
And we can call it “Dame Time.”
[all speaking at once]
Nah, time’s up. Time’s up.
You guys can be whatever you want.
[hip-hop music playing]
Dom James: It was great. They really helped me out. Stored all the scans right on my phone.
This phone?
[gasps softly]
So, theoretically, this app of yours can scan people in from anywhere in the world, using their own phones.
Yeah, I guess.
That is sick. [chuckles]
Pete! [Pete babbles]
Check this out.
Make sure he gets it back though, it’s his. And respect his privacy.
[speaks robot]
[sighs]
[in English] Gotta say, though, it’s really a shame that your dad doesn’t support you.
I mean, I get it.
He’s one of the greatest of all time at what he does.
Well, the jury’s still out on that, I think, but go ahead.
And I… build video games.
Mmm.
I think he doesn’t…
He won’t let me do me. He won’t let me be me.
Al G. Rhythm: I’d let you be you. You know what? I think I know a way we can fix this. We’re gonna make your dad stand up and take notice of you, young prince.
[music playing]
[moaning]
[energy powering up]
[babbles]
[whistle blows]
LeBron James: Ball. I need us to focus so we can beat this Al G. guy, and I can get my son back. 
Daffy: I’m coach, I’ll take it from here. The dictionary defines basketball [high-pitched] as a game played between two teams of five.
Bugs Bunny: Uh, look here, Cleveland. We got a certain way of doing things around here.
LeBron James: Let’s start with the basics. Lola, show ’em how we do it.
Daffy Duck: You’re despicable.
Lola Bunny: [grunts] Simplest shot in the game.
Sylvester: Sufferin’ succotash!
Porky Pig: Oh, wow!
LeBron James: Nice layup. That’s fundamental basketball.
Daffy Duck: [in normal voice] Fundamental basketball. That’s what I’ve been saying. Sam, shoot the ball.
[Sam literally shoots the ball with his pistols, also shooting at Daffy's bill, which ends up on the other side of his head.]
Daffy Duck: Let’s try that again, shall we?
[whistle blows]
[upbeat music playing]
Ooh!
Sylvester: Come back here, you.
[chuckles]
Whoo-hoo!
[Sylvester gasps]
What the…?
Foghorn Leghorn: I say, I say, hi-ho, Silver!
Yosemite Sam: Yee-haw!
Ow!
[upbeat music continues]
[Porky stutters] Ball hogs.
[screams]
Hey! I’m open!
[Porky laughs wickedly]
Go, Tunes!
Here I go.
[shouts in Spanish]
[grunting]
Taz, no!
Whoa!
Speedy Gonzales: Ay! Diablo loco!
Let me show you how it’s done. Three-point land!
[engine revving]
Where’d she get the ramp?
In your face!
LeBron James: This isn’t real basketball.
Bugs Bunny: You’re right. But it’s fun! You remember fun, don’t you, Doc?
Granny: Game, Blouses! What?
You lost LeBron James?
And his son? For real?
You better find that dude. He on my fantasy team.
I didn’t lose LeBron, so stop saying that!
[cell phone ringing]
Oh, come on, man.
Listen, his wife keeps calling me every ten minutes.
Now, I gotta get back to her soon or she gonna kill me, man.
Look, does my name badge say, “LeBron Finder”?
“LeBron Locator”? No, it doesn’t.
But isn’t it your job to secure something?
With all due respect, I went to school for six months to be accredited as a security specialist, specializing in the securial arts.
And the sooner you come to terms with the fact that you lost the world’s greatest athlete, the sooner you’ll be able to move on with your life.
I’m a professional! An avid professional, man!
[cell phone ringing]
I ain’t lose LeBron, and I ain’t ask you about your…
Hey, Kamiyah.
Yeah, I got the funniest story to tell you.
Oh, snap! I gotta call you back.
I’m driving through a canyon right now.
He ain’t in no canyon.
He in my office, violating my personal space!
I’m driving through a canyon right here!
He need to get back on his business and find LeBron.
Code ten! Code ten!
[Malik mimics static]
You… I can’t hear…
Kamiyah James: Malik. You have zero seconds to tell me where my husband and my son are.
Al G. Rhythm: Okay, young prince, time to rebuild your character.
Dom James: Al, have you done this before?
Al G. Rhythm: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I upgrade things all the time. I mean, look at Pete, for instance. He was hideous, now he’s adorable. Right, Pete? [Pete cooing] Ugh. Don’t… Don’t look at Pete, okay? Just focus on yourself.
Dom James: That’s the character customization menu from my game.
Al G. Rhythm: Yes, it is. Now, with this, you can become the player that your dad always wanted you to be. Best part is, you get to do it your way. You have control.
[blows]
Seventy-five? You’re good with 75?
Come on! We didn’t come here to be three-quarters.
Pete’s a 75, he can’t even rebound.
[exclaims, grumbles]
Come on, Dom. Let’s go.
Dream big, son. Turn up.
Turn up.
[powering up]
That’s it. Now you’re living.
Let’s go! Yes!
[powering up]
Ha-ha! Yes. Now, you are finally gonna be who you really are. Captain of my basketball team.
[“Get Ready (2013 Version)” playing]
[scatting]
Whoa, wait a minute. Take it. Swish!
[plays along to song]
Watch me do it.
Come on, Pete. Running man on ’em. Whoo!
Dom James: Wait, wait, wait…
Running man on ’em. Huh?
You said we were rebuilding my character. You never said anything about me actually playing in the game.
Al G. Rhythm: Look, do you want your dad to respect you or not?
Dom James: Yeah, but…
Al G. Rhythm: No, Dom. No buts. [in distorted voice] You want your dad to respect you, you beat him in a game of your own creation. Dads don’t understand reason, Dom. They understand power. You take the power. You gotta make him respect you. You make him see that you are special.
Dom James: Do it. Upgrade me.
[grunts]
[snaps fingers]
[powering up]
[hip-hop music playing]
[chuckling] Yeah! Feel it!
[laughs]
Yeah!
[cooing]
Oh! [laughs]
Yeah!
Yo! I got handles!
You got mad handles.
There’s no way we’re gonna get beat now.
Hey, how about we show your teammates some love?
Have some fun with it.
[grunts, giggles]
[ball bouncing]
And remember, Dom, no rules, okay?
Forget about fundamentals.
Okay. I think I can make a few customizations.
Ooh.
[Al G. chuckles]
I’m sure you can.
[Al G. chuckles]
[snarls]
Malik: And now Bron won’t answer my calls or texts or anything.
It’s almost like…
It’s almost like they were abducted, all right?
What?
Now, we gotta rule out all possibilities here.
Now, I’m talking about aliens, okay? The government.
Uh, the New York Knicks.
[cell phone chimes]
[Kamiyah scoffs]
Guys, guys. Dad just tweeted.
Thank God! About what?
Okay.
Said he’s playing in a game later today.
Kamiyah James: Is that Dom? 
Darius: Yeah. Some kinda…
Game?
…epic live event that you can stream on this app.
Weird.
Malik: I just had a thought, okay?
Now, if he’s tweeting from his phone right now, then that means you can…
I can track him on my phone.
That’s what I was gonna say.
Lola Bunny: Pre-game ritual?
LeBron James: I like to remind myself who I’m playing for. My family. And right now, it’s all about Dom.
Lola Bunny: We’ll get your son back. I promise.
Marvin the Martian: Ooh! My ship! Finally I shall get my…
Wow! Isn’t this great? We’re all back together.
Come on, Tunes. We gotta get to work.
Move it or lose it, rabbit.
Jeez, can’t a guy stop and smell the roses?
Marvin the Martian: [groans] A little help here?
Bugs Bunny: Uh, well… Oh, I…
[indistinct shouting]
LeBron James: Okay, one more time. In and out, crossover, step back, shoot.
Bugs Bunny: Ooh, that’s some fancy footwork, Doc. Let me try.
[“U Can’t Touch This” playing]
[board squeaking]
[rabbits giggle]
Okay. Stop!
Can’t touch this!
[rabbits giggling]
What the…? Really?
Look, Bugs, you already got what you wanted. Your friends, Tune World. I still need my son back. Outside these lines, be as looney as you want. But inside, you do what I say.
[all gasp]
Bugs Bunny: Oh, I see. You’re that kind of king.
LeBron James: Look, Bugs, it’s my way or the highway.
Uh… Guys?
Bugs Bunny: Oh, yeah? 
LeBron James: Yeah. Fundamentals win championships.
Uh-oh.
He’s here.
[energy powering up]
Go! Go! Get out of the way!
[all exclaiming]
[Bugs Bunny screaming]
Foghorn Leghorn: I say, shake a leg, Granny!
[creaks]
Watch out!
I got you, pajarito!
[trilling]
[both coughing]
Bugs Bunny: Huh?
Al-G Rhythm: Well, if it isn't the old-news Looney Tunes. Looking just as washed up as ever. You know what? I think it’s time for an upgrade. 
Bugs Bunny: An upgrade? 
[upgrades the Looney Tunes into their 3D styles] 
[sighs mockingly]
[beeps]
No!
Whoa. Whoa, whoa. [grunts]
Lola!
[whimpers]
Lola Bunny: [after being changed into her 3D style] [grunts] What in the world?
[laughs]
[beeps]
Foghorn Leghorn: [as he changes to his 3D style] I say, I say, cock-a-doodle-doo… not do that.
Daffy Duck: [Sees his new 3D self] I look expensive!
[uplifting music plays]
What’s happening?
[gasps]
[whimpering]
Al-G Rhythm: Oh, no! Oh, they’re alive! Alive! [laughs] Oh, yeah. You’re looking sharp, Looney Tunes.
Bugs Bunny: Al-G...THIS MEANS WAR!
Al G. Rhythm: [chuckles] Whatever, Bugs.
LeBron James: Where’s my son?
Al G. Rhythm: Oh, now you wanna be Daddy of the Year? Just calm down, LeBron. He’ll be here, okay? We got bigger fish to fry. Let’s get some butts in these seats!
[Suddenly, the ground starts to shake.]
Bugs Bunny: How big are these butts?
[Everybody looks up to see tons of Warner Bros. icons rushing in. The Mystery Machine rides down with the Iron Giant following behind. Quidditch players fly on their brooms while a dragon from Game of Thrones breathes fire. King Kong lands in along with a few yetis from Smallfoot. Then, Gazoo appears and Muttley tries to catch him. Tons of Hanna Barbera characters, as well as the Animaniacs, stampede to the court.]
Fred Flintstone: Yabba Dabba Doo!
Yogi Bear: Hey, Boo-Boo!
[Then, Stripe and his gremlins come in, cackling. Cut to Malik and the James entering the server room.]
Hey, yo, he’s probably in here.
Don’t be scared. Come on.
[door chimes]
Al G. Rhythm: [on speakers] Welcome, James family.
No, Xosha. Wait.
[Kamiyah inhales sharply]
[nervously] Ladies first.
Really?
No?
All right. I’mma go first ’cause I’m a gentleman.
Kamiyah James: Uh-huh.
Malik: [high-pitched] Bron? [coughs; in normal voice] Bron?
[Kamiyah] It says he’s in here.
[Xosha] Dad?
[Kamiyah] Dom?
[Malik] Bron?
[Cut back to Tune World, the Tune Squad sees the other half of the crowd being empty.]
Elmer Fudd: Where’s the other half of the cwowd?
Al G. Rhythm: Uh, they should be tuning in to the livestream right about… (buffers) Right about… (buffers) Right about… (buffers then groans) Buffering! So embarrassing. Right about now! [snaps fingers] 
[dramatic music playing]
Al G. Rhythm: [in distorted voice] Oh, yeah. Oh, that’s it.
[energy powering up]
[speaking Korean]
[bell dings on cell phone]
Al G. Rhythm: It’s game time!
Yo.
Al G. Rhythm: It’s game time!
Hey, look here.
Al G. Rhythm: It’s game time!
[They get sucked in. Soon, the other half is inhabited by humans from the real world.]
Foghorn Leghorn: I say, I say, how in the world did he get all these spectators here?
Daffy Duck: I don’t know, but the line for the bathroom’s gonna be insane.
Ernie Johnson: And we’re back from commercial and… Where are we? Lil Rel?
Lil Rel Howery: [chuckling] Man, what are you doing here? Wait, Ernie Johnson? This is crazy! Look, I was on my phone, right, and I was getting on the elevator… Wait a minute, did I fall down the elevator shaft? Ernie, are we dead? Is this what heaven looks like?
Ernie Johnson: No, it looks like we’re in some kinda computer-generated basketball game.
[cell phone chimes]
It looks like Dad’s game’s starting.
What? Let me see that.
Al G. Rhythm: [on speakers] Oh, Bron, Bron.
Kamiyah James: Who’s this guy?
Al G. Rhythm: [in sing-song voice] Got some VIPs coming in.
LeBron James: No!
Al G. Rhythm: [in distorted voice] Yeah! [laughs] What a twist!
No, we shouldn’t be watching that.
Kamiyah James: Where is he? Where is this coming from?
Malik: Something’s not right here.
[electricity crackling]
Al G. Rhythm: [on speakers] It’s game time!
Kamiyah James: What?
[Kamiyah yelps]
Whoa, what in the world?
Xosha James: Mommy, what just happened?
Oh, my God! Kids!
Bron!
[both grunt]
[Kamiyah gasps]
Kamiyah James: Babe, what is going on? Where’s Dom?
LeBron James: I don’t know, but I have to go to play this game to save everyone with…
Bugs Bunny?
Bugs Bunny: Eh… [chomps on a carrot] What’s up, Doc?
[He tries to give them a handshake, but the forcefield electrocutes him, sending him flying.]
That’s kinda normal around here.
Dad, this is Dom’s game. You know how to play, right?
It’s basketball. Of course!
Yeah.
Al G. Rhythm: Uh, excuse me? Paging Mr. LeBron James!
Everything’s gonna be all right. [Al G. laughs] I promise.
[Cut to the server room, Malik is speaking to Siri to try to join the others inside cyberspace.]
Malik: [sighs deeply] Zap me into you.
Siri: Sorry, I didn’t understand that.
Malik: I said, zap me, into you. Zap me, human, into you, phone. Zap me.
[Back in Tune World, the basketball game is about to begin.]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to your host for the evening, Mr. Al G. Rhythm!
[The crowd cheers as Al G makes his entrance.]
Al G. Rhythm: Hey, how y’all doing? Thank you! Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the first and final Serververse Classic! [the crowd cheers] Oh! Let me tell you what. I know that you all are LeBron’s biggest fans. And the King has had a great run, hasn’t he? But that’s over. That’s done now. And it is time for a new king to take the throne.
LeBron James: This dude is a hater.
Granny: Haters gonna hate.
Elmer Fudd: He’s a bad guy.
LeBron James: Big time.
Al G. Rhythm: So let’s lay down some basic ground rules. If King James wins, you all get to go back to your regular, boring lives. But if my team wins, you all get to stay with me in the Serververse forever.
[The crowd exclaims in shock.]
Fan: What?!
Al G. Rhythm: How ’bout that, huh?
LeBron James: What? That wasn’t the deal.
Al G. Rhythm: Oh, yeah! Didn’t see that coming, did you?
Daffy Duck: Well, at least we’re good.
Al G. Rhythm: Oh, boy. Oh, and I almost forgot, all of the Tunes will be deleted, so… [blows raspberry]
Elmer Fudd: Oh, no!
Sylvester: Deleted?
Speedy Gonzales: That is messed up!
Foghorn Leghorn: That dude is bad.
Granny: Why?
Bugs Bunny: (to Daffy) You just couldn’t keep your big beak shut.
Granny: (smacks Daffy) Blabbermouth.
Daffy Duck: I deserved that.
Al G. Rhythm: And now, from the beautiful mind of Dominic James… Introducing… the Goon Squad! Whoo!
[rap music playing]
Al G. Rhythm: White Mamba!
White Mamba: What’sssss up?
Wet Fire: Wet ball, baby!
Al G. Rhythm: Wet Fire!
[grunts]
Al G. Rhythm: Arachnneka!
Arachnneka: Queen of the web. Mwah.
[birds screech]
[rap music continues]
Al G. Rhythm: And The Brow.
The Brow: Flyest guy on the squad.
LeBron James: Dang! What’d they do to my boy, AD?
Al G. Rhythm: And this next young man I’m bringing up… Oh, my goodness. Y’all gonna love him. He puts the G in genius. He’s my hero on the ones and zeroes, Mr. Dominic James! [holds note]
[hip-hop music playing]
[crowd cheering]
Announcer: Dom!
[hip-hop music continues playing]
[crowd continues cheering]
Al G. Rhythm: Give it up one more time for Dominic James!
Kamiyah James: Dom!
Dom!
I don’t think he can hear you.
Kamiyah James: I’m his mother. He better hear me.
Dom!
Whoa.
Al G. Rhythm: Right? It’s amazing. All these people came here to see you, Dom. And we used your scanning tech to make it happen.
Check ’em out.
This is dope.
Dom.
Dom James: Dad!
LeBron James: Are you okay, son?
Dom James: I’ve never been better.
LeBron James: Listen to me. Everyone in here is in danger.
Dom James: [scoffs] Come on, Dad. Why you gotta make everything so serious?
LeBron James: This is serious. Your boy Al G., he’s a bad dude.
Dom James: What?
LeBron James: He’s using your game to trap everyone in here.
Dom James: He’s not bad. He’s just sad because he works so hard and no one pays attention to him. He’s like me, Dad.
LeBron James: No, he’s nothing like you. He’s manipulating you.
Al G. Rhythm: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why you using all these charged words… Deleted. Manipulate… [whispers] Kidnapped. Come on, LeBron, chill out.
LeBron James: What’d you say, man?
Dom James: I’m playing basketball. I thought you’d be happy.
Al G. Rhythm: Thought you’d be happy. Yeah, you keep it up, you ain’t gonna get that Father’s Day card. Those things are not guaranteed.
LeBron James: Dom.
Al G. Rhythm: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
The Brow: You going down, King James.
Arachnneka: What’s good, baby? [kisses]
LeBron James: Hey, yo, Brow, I think it’s time for your eyebrows to break up with each other.
The Brow: Oh?
LeBron James: They ugly. Let it go.
The Brow: What he mean? What’s wrong with ’em?
White Mamba: We’ll show him who’s boss.
What did he say, Bron?
LeBron James: He thinks Al G. is his friend. I don’t know what else to do.
You gotta win this game… and get our son back.
Okay.
Announcer: It’s game time!
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
[fanfare music plays]
[Pete hums along to end note]
LeBron James: Pete’s the referee?
Al G. Rhythm: Oh, you mad, bro? [laughs]
[whistle blows]
[crowd cheering]
[Ernie] Look, I don’t want to alarm you or any of our viewers, but apparently, if the Tune Squad doesn’t win this game, we’re all gonna be trapped here forever.
Lil Rel Howery: [chuckles] Luckily the Tune Squad got the four-time MVP LeBron James on their team. I ain’t sweating it.
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
[cooing]
[crowd exclaims]
Lil Rel Howery: Oh, we doomed. We’re doomed!
You gotta be kidding me.
Lil Rel Howery: Did you see that kid fly?
[Ernie] Uh-huh.
He’s like Superman, but with a hi-top fade.
[grunts]
[Ernie] Rel, I gotta tell you, this Goon Squad is loaded, top to bottom.
Bugs Bunny is gonna need a rabbit’s foot against this guy, Wet Fire.
Oh! Because he’s wet, and he’s fire.
[chuckles] That’s kinda brilliant.
Whoop. Oh. Whoop. Ha-ha.
Lola Bunny: What?
Gimme that ball!
Back off, rabbit.
[Wet Fire] Entering the Splash Zone! Ha-ha!
[Ernie] And you know what else is brilliant?
This ball movement, man. Check it out.
Sylvester: Sufferin’ succotash!
Leading!
Whoo!
[crowd cheers]
[beeping]
Sixteen? What’s up with the score?
Style points, Dad.
Style points?
Style points?
We playing video game rules.
[laughs] Style points, power-ups.
See, kids, playing video games do pay off!
Come on, baby bunny.
Out of my way, you big worm.
Thank you.
Sylvester: Help me. Please.
What?
Come chase this down.
[dramatic music plays]
[Lola] Hey! [groans]
[Ernie] Arachnneka throws down a monster dunk.
And she dunks again. And again and again.
Eat that, eat that, eat that, eat that.
And again and again and again! And again!
And again!
[beeping]
Ow.
[crowd exclaims, cheers]
Down goes the king!
Is… Is this legal?
Man, she got six arms. What else she supposed to do?
Oh, boy.
[Tweety twittering]
[Tweety] Get up, LeBwon. We need you.
How’d that taste, King?
Yeah! Can’t touch us.
[Bugs Bunny] Listen, Bron-Bron. This is basketball, but with a spin to it. We gotta think outta the box.
There’s only one basketball.
And, Bugs, don’t do nothing looney.
Nothing looney?
Let’s go!
We’re not called the “Fundamental Tunes.”
Don’t just stand there, rabbit!
Get the ball to LeBron!
[Ernie] LeBron’s so hard to guard down low using that huge size advantage.
Sorry, son. You know I gotta go win this game.
If you say so.
[Ernie] Ooh, he just got blocked by Dom.
The King has been dethroned.
[Lil Rel] His own son.
That is cold-blooded, Ernie.
Look, this is not like any kind of basketball LeBron has ever seen.
[grunts]
[Dom] Whoo!
[Ernie] I’ve never seen anything like this.
Where’s that pass going?
Dom: Hey, what up, Bugs?
Bugs:Watch the hair.
[Dom] Thank you. Assist.
Top floor!
[babbles, grunts]
[beeps]
[Ernie] 33-pointer?
Oh, yes!
Huh?
Well played. See, this is why we practice.
[crowd cheering]
We didn’t. We don’t practice.
[LeBron] What’s up with that, Pete?
[chuckles]
You can’t move the basket like that, man, that’s cheating.
No, you can. You can move the basket.
[LeBron] Man, you don’t even know what you’re talk…
[Pete grunts]
A technical?
Oh, you’re gonna give me a technical?
Man, I wish you would. Tsk!
[Pete babbles]
I say, what kind of ship are you running here?
You gotta call the game fair.
I say, fair! [yells]
Well, that happened.
[gibbers]
Never in my career did I think I’d say these five words, “Foghorn Leghorn just got ejected.”
This is not going well.
Your dad’s got this. I hope.
[inspirational music plays]
Let’s go. Stand her up. D up! Right there.
Come here, bunny.
Got you! [grunts]
[Lola] Iverson’d! Ha-ha!
[scoreboard beeps]
[LeBron yells]
[Daffy] Way to go! 
[Elmer] We love LeBron!
[grunts]
Let’s go!
You act like it’s the first time you ever dunked. [scoffs]
[The Brow growling]
[scoreboard beeps]
[crowd cheering]
Buckets.
[beeping]
[crowd cheering]
[Dom] Buckets.
[gasps, grunts]
Who you calling “worm”? [rattles]
Not you, girl. [chuckles nervously]
Ooh! I got her, I got her!
[grunts]
Oh, she got me.
Bugs: We’re gettin’ moiderized!
Try a power-up, Dad!
What you got, King?
Gimme that, gimme that, gimme that!
Oh, I got this.
Wait!
[Ernie] LeBron’s on a mission. He wants to go coast to coast!
[screaming]
[Ernie] And… then some.
[continues screaming]
[barrier thuds]
[LeBron] Ouch.
Ooh.
[crowd exclaims]
Bugs Bunny: Yikes.
[barrier squeaking]
LeBron just hit a force field.
[sighs] Man, and speaking from experience, that’s gonna leave a mark.
Tweety: We gotta stop meeting this way.
Tell me about it.
Time out.
[Daffy] I’m not a betting duck, but, uh, my money’s on the other team.
Let’s run a triangle offense.
We’re getting crushed.
[Daffy] A square offense.
A trapezoid offense? Any shape!
I know.
[Al G.] Look at ’em. Their spirit is broken, and that’s exactly what we want. But I guess it’s time to put ’em out of their misery. Go ahead and take a little break, Dom Dom, because do you know what time it is?
What time is it, Al?
Oh, it’s Dame Time.
[announcer] New character unlocked.
New character?
[Ernie] Here’s our first Goon Squad substitution of the night.
[announcer] Chronos!
[hip-hop music playing]
It’s the King Stomper!
[crowd cheering]
[shudders]
Granny, I’m subbing you out.
What?
Road Runner, you’re in.
Beep, beep.
[Porky grunts]
[Al G. chuckles]
Knock yourself out, kid.
Woman: Chronos! Oh, yeah! Whoo!
Chronos!
[beeps]
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
Road Runner: [in slow motion] Beep, beep.
♪ It’s about that time ♪
♪ I look up ♪
♪ And it’s about that time ♪
♪ It’s about that time ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah Ready, set, go ♪
♪ Had to let them know that I’m saying whoa ♪
♪ I look up And it’s about that time ♪
Road Runner: [in slow motion] Beep, beep.
[slurps in slow motion]
Chronos: Sheesh! Dude could use a makeover.
Mmm. Oh.
Wow. Whoo!
Hmm. Oh. Okay.
Ha-ha! Word.
[Tweety squawks in slow motion]
[in slow motion] Oh…
[upbeat hip-hop music continues]
[all gasp]
[grunts]
[beeping]
[crowd cheering]
[Dom yelling] Yeah!
[Dom] Dame Time!
Bye, bye!
Ooh, I’m feeling salty now.
[all cheering]
Way to Dominate!
[chuckles]
Wet Fire: That’s how you do it, Dom!
The Brow: Goon Squad, what?
Yeah, Dom! Puttin’ the lights out!
Yeah, Dom!
Hey, Tune lover.
Wow.
Al G. Rhythm: You feel good? 
Dom James: Feel great.
What a job. What a job! Amazing. He’s amazing.
Goon Squad, what you got?
Arachnneka: They can’t touch us.
Crowd: Goon Squad!
Arachnneka: We got this.
You’re the best, Dom. You’re the best!
Come on, give it up! Give it up!
White Mamba: Thanks for the turnovers.
Crowd: [chanting] Goon Squad! Goon Squad!
[sighs]
[sizzles]
Elmer Fudd: (praying) Oh, please don’t let us get deleted. Please don’t let us get deleted.
Lola Bunny: Come on, guys. Don’t give up. There’s a whole other half to play.
Speedy Gonzales: Oh, mi cabeza!
Lola Bunny: I’m telling you, we can still win this.
Porky Pig: How? We’re g-g-g-g-g-getting decimated.
Daffy Duck: We need a boost. A pick-me-up. A secret weapon.
Granny: We need a miracle.
[splutters]
Sylvester: I don’t know if this counts as a miracle, but I found Michael Jordan! He was in the audience. I know he can help.
[inspirational music playing]
Bugs Bunny: His Airness?
Daffy Duck: You found him?
Yosemite Sam: I can feel his power already.
Tweety: Ooh, I can hear his shoes.
[footsteps thudding]
Daffy Duck: At guard, 6’6″, from North Carolina… Number 23, Michael Jordan…
[Unfortunately, it turns out Sylvester had brought in Michael B. Jordan.]
Daffy Duck: Huh?
[music stops]
LeBron James: Come on, man. That’s Michael B. Jordan. The actor.
Michael B. Jordan: I was just getting some popcorn, and then this cat grabbed me.
Daffy Duck: We couldn’t get Michael A. Jordan, so we got Michael B. Jordan?
Elmer Fudd: How could you think he was His Airness? They look nothing alike.
Sylvester: It’s been 25 years. I thought he aged gracefully.
Michael B. Jordan: This is awkward, um, but I believe in you guys, okay? Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose. You hear me? Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose! Say it with me…
LeBron James: Mike.
Michael B. Jordan: Yeah, y’all got this. I’m… I’m too much. You’re right. I’m sorry. I’mma go back to my seat. You came back three-one.
Sylvester: Well…
Michael B. Jordan: You killed it. You can do it again! (leaves)
LeBron James: Right.
Daffy Duck: [sighs] Well, that was a bust. Anyone else got any bright ideas?
Lola Bunny: Come on! Get it together, guys. The Tune Squad doesn’t give up at halftime. The Tune Squad doesn’t give up ever.
LeBron James: We’re down a thousand points. No team is coming back from this.
Yosemite Sam: Well, why don’t you try coaching us better, bucko!
LeBron James: I’ve been coaching y’all this whole time! Sylvester over here getting the wrong MJ, Granny’s out here having a martini at halftime, and Taz might as well be playing for the other team!
Daffy Duck: Your son plays for the other team.
Tweety: Yeah, you’re a bad dad.
LeBron James: I’m a bad dad? I’ve been trying to save my son and coach y’all at the same time. What y’all doing?
Lola Bunny: We’ve been trying.
LeBron James: Trying to do what?
Lola Bunny: Trying to be like you.
Bugs Bunny: And it’s not working.
[Seeing the sad looks on the Tunes' faces, LeBron remembers his son's words.]
LeBron James: Because you’re not me. “You never let me just… do me.”
Taz: Huh?
LeBron James: Okay, I got it. New game plan. Bugs. Time to do what you guys do best.
[uplifting music playing]
Bugs Bunny: You know something? If we’re going out, we’re going out looney. Let’s go, team! All tooney, big mooney, full looney!
Foghorn Leghorn: Good plan. I say, good plan.
[Tune Squad cheering]
[upbeat music playing]
[Ernie] It seems bleak, but let’s remember, there’s an entire half left to play.
[buzzer sounds]
[whirring]
[powering up]
Marvin the Martian: Oh, that first half was interminable.
[Suddenly, the UFO drops a ramp on him.]
Marvin the Martian: [yelps] Are you kidding me?
[hip-hop music playing]
Porky Pig: Th-th-th...
Daffy Duck: It’s showtime!
[Taz grunts]
[all cheering]
[hip-hop music continues]
Yeah! Let’s go, Tunes!
Yep, we in here. Are we ready?
Tune Squad, we in the building!
Ha-ha. Yes, sir!
[Tune Squad cheering]
Foghorn Leghorn: Tune Squad!
[horn honks]
[all taunting]
[Ernie] Hey, they may be down a gazillion points, but LeBron James and the Tunes are coming back out here for the third quarter with some renewed energy.
And I don’t understand why. They are losing really badly.
[buzzer sounds]
[Ernie] All right, here we go in the third quarter.
[“Goin’ Looney” playing]
Tweety: Uh-oh.
The Brow: Yeah! Bird versus baby bird.
Tweety: Do you have your ticket? ‘Cause the 11:50 Express is running on time.
[A train horn blares offscreen.]
The Brow: Hmm? Huh?
[“Goin’ Looney” continues playing]
Tweety: [laughs] Classic.
Wet Fire: Give me that ball, rabbit.
Whoa!
[muffled grunting]
[stomach grumbles]
Bugs Bunny: Someone’s absorbed in the game. [giggles]
[whistles]
Road Runner: Beep, beep.
[The Brow growls]
Arachnneka: Yo.
Hey, guys.
Where’s the ball?
Road Runner: [in slow motion] Beep, beep.
[yelling]
[Tweety grunts]
[scoreboard trilling]
Road Runner: Beep, beep.
Al-G Rhythm: Oh, no! Are you kidding me? Road Runner smokescreen? It’s the oldest trick in the book!
Tweety!
[digital beeping]
Ooh, slam dunk!
[Tune Squad cheering]
Just like I drew it up.
Gossamer, I say, he’s the quicker-picker-upper.
[groans, spits]
[Ernie] Oh, what a no-look pass ahead to Dom.
Looks like the Goons are playing keep-away.
[static whines]
Bugs Bunny: (on mic) Dom passes to Wet Fire. Wet Fire back to Brow. He’s gonna dunk… Oh! But he freezes at the rim!
[yelling]
The Brow: Oh? Huh?
[crowd exclaims]
Al G. Rhythm: What are you doing?
Bugs Bunny: (on mic) Giving new meaning to “suspended from the game”!
Al G. Rhythm: (takes the mic) Give me that. But the Goons fast break, take it to the other end. These silly Tunes don’t have what it takes to win.
No, wait, wait. I wasn’t trying to start a…
Oh, we rappin’ now? We rappin’?
[hip-hop music playing]
Hey, Porky, fry ’em.
Porky Pig: Fry ’em? Me… Me… Me?
Show ’em who you really are, Notorious P.I.G.
[mic feedback whines]
[people laughing]
Oh… Oh, boy. Here goes nothin’.
[stuttering and mimicking record scratching]
Porky Pig: [rapping] What up? It’s Porky Pig. They call me P Double. Al G. step to me, He don’t want no trouble.
Yeah!
[The Brow] Boo!
♪ I was famous Before the internets ♪
♪ Since 1935 I’ve been getting respect ♪
♪ This pig is lit I’m super legit ♪
♪ Every time I’m out in public People askin’ me for pics ♪
♪ You, nobody knows you When you walk the street ♪
♪ How your last name Rhythm And you still off-beat ♪
Daffy Duck: Off-beat!
Porky Pig: [rapping] From beginning to the end, I’m here for all the smoke. Your squad ain’t all-star, your squad is all jokes.
Daffy Duck: All jokes!
Porky Pig: [rapping] End this with one bar, most famous of all quotes. This battle is now over. That… That… That’s all folks!
[mic thuds]
[all cheering]
Lola Bunny: Yeah, Porky!
LeBron James: That’s all, folks!
The Brow: Get off the stage!
[trilling]
[fanfare music plays]
[mics thud]
Style points.
[air horn toots]
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
I’m not exactly sure what we just witnessed here.
[laughs] He just got bonus points for those bars.
He was spittin’ hot fire.
Yeah!
[Taz burbling]
[Ernie] Taz brings it up. He can really pat the rock.
And it’s stolen by The Brow!
Back to Tasmania, ya little devil.
Taz! [mimics Taz’ burbling]
Huh?
Yeah!
Let’s go! Yeah!
Are you serious?
Yeah!
Make a call, Pete!
[coos]
Oh, you wanna swallow your whistle?
[grunts]
[whistles blows]
Yeah! How’d that taste?
[tooting]
Now call the game!
[crowd cheering]
How did I lose control?
I didn’t lose control.
You lost… You…
This one lost… I haven’t lost any…
Yeah, baby, let’s go. Let’s go!
Lola Bunny: Yes!
Tweety: Yay, LeBron!
Let’s go!
Darius James: Yes!
Let’s go, Tunes!
Here we go! Let’s go!
All: Let’s go, Tunes!
Crowd: [chanting] Let’s go, Tunes!
Let’s go, Tunes!
Let’s go, Tunes! Let’s go, Tunes!
Let’s go, Tunes!
Let’s go, Tunes! Let’s go, Tunes!
[Ernie] Wow! Check out this crowd.
Everyone really getting behind the Tune Squad.
You know somethin’, it’s about time.
[dramatic music plays]
[Ernie] Coming off the bench now for the Tunes, Wile E. Coyote.
[whistles]
Beep, beep.
[machine whirring]
[beeping]
[chuckles] Wow.
[Ernie] Look out.
Looks like Wile E.’s gotten himself mixed up in the machine.
[beeping]
[Ernie] And just like that, the Tunes have a thousand points on the board.
We havin’ fun yet?
[Ernie] They’re gonna clean these coyotes off the court and keep the game going.
[laughs]
What’s wrong, Al? That was awesome.
Al-G Rhythm: What do you mean, “What’s wrong?” They’re catching up. [in distorted voice] Run Dame Time.
Not him again.
Porky Pig: [stutters] He’s gonna make bacon out of us.
Granny: Oh, don’t worry. Time’s on our side.
She knows time is literally on their side, right?
[walker squeaking]
[grunts]
You sure about this, Granny?
Granny: I’m going old-school on his butt.
Whoa.
[crowd cheering]
Granny: Come on.
[crowd gasps]
Granny: Stop!
[beeping]
Granny: Tick-tock.
[grunts weakly]
Granny: Hyah!
[crowd cheering]
She is The One.
Al G. Rhythm: What in the AARP is going on out here?
I got hops! Whoo!
[digital trilling]
Lola!
Got you, Bron!
[yelling]
[screaming]
[all groan]
[crowd cheering]
There we go! Let’s go!
[Ernie] And the Tunes take the lead!
What a play from Lola and LeBron James!
A monster jam!
[chuckling]
LeBron came back from three-one down.
Can he come back from this far back?
Let me tell you this, I woke up today and only knew one world.
Then I got sucked into my phone, and at this point, anything’s possible!
[laughs]
[LeBron shouts]
Way to go, Tunes!
Let’s go!
Foghorn, right here.
Yeah!
LeBron James: Yeah!
I say, that’s all right!
LeBron James: Lola!
Yes! My dude!
Taz!
[LeBron cheering]
Go, baby! Yeah!
Oh, yeah! Here we go!
Foghorn Leghorn: Way to go, Tune Squad!
LeBron James: Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!
Now we having some fun! Yeah!
Whoo-hoo! This is fun basketball right here!
Be yourselves! Be yourselves!
Elmer Fudd: All right!
Al-G Rhythm: Hey, Dom, are you a Tune or are you a Goon? Tune or Goon? Tune or Goon? Make up your mind. Make up your mind.
Let’s go. Sit down.
Yeah. Way to get looney out there.
[Granny cheers, laughs]
Ooh-whee!
Tweety: We did it!
Al-G Rhythm: Everybody happy, huh? Everybody having a good time? Yeah? You having a lot of fun out there? ‘Cause that’s all that matters, right? Is that you’re having fun. [yelling] That doesn’t matter at all! What matters is that I win this [bleep] game! Oh, and you, Dom. How are you losing at your own game? [in distorted voice] For server’s sake, I didn’t even think that was possible! I expected a lot more out of you, son. Get your head in the game. I need to win!
Foghorn Leghorn: All right!
Yosemite Sam: Whoo-hoo! Yee-haw!
Granny: Drinks on me!
Sylvester: Boy, that was awesome!
Porky Pig: Go team!
Al G. Rhythm: [sighs; in normal voice] Yeah, maybe your dad was right about you. Letting you be you was a mistake.
[sad music playing]
[thud]
Al-G Rhythm: Okay. If everybody would move down, then we could all sit on the bench. Let’s all sit on the bench!
Foghorn Leghorn: Now that’s what I call momentum, son.
Lola Bunny: LeBron?
Tweety: Way to go!
Hey, you with us?
Porky Pig: I’m so tickled.
Let’s end this.
I’m getting my son back.
[buzzer sounds]
[inspirational music playing]
[Elmer pants, grunts]
[grunts]
Iso. Clear out.
[Elmer panting]
[suspenseful music playing]
I wonder what move he’s gonna do.
The post-up?
Maybe the fadeaway.
He’s gonna dunk all over him.
Look at that kid! Kid’s too small.
[music stops]
Dom James: Dad, what are you doing? We’re in the middle of a game.
Bugs Bunny: Hey, what’s goin’ on?
Lola Bunny: I don’t know.
Dom James: Dad…
LeBron James: Dom, your game is amazing, son. But I guess I would’ve known that if I would’ve listened more. Sorry I didn’t. For me, when I was a kid, the things that I went through to get where I am now, I had to be a certain way. [sighs] Yeah, it helped me win games, but not so much being a dad. I’m still learning how. You’re teaching me. I want you to be yourself. Do you understand how much I love you? Do you understand how important you are to me? How very special you are? I mean, I don’t even know if I’m saying this right.
[ball bounces off]
Dom James: Sounds right to me. [hugs his dad] I love you, Dad.
LeBron James: I love you too, son.
[crowd applauding]
Yosemite Sam: Oh, now, that’s beautiful.
Granny: Let’s go!
Yosemite Sam: Whoo!
Lola Bunny: I think I’m gonna cry.
Bugs Bunny: Not me. [wailing]
Lola Bunny: Bugs, pull it together.
Kamiyah James: Dom!
Dom!
Dom James: Mom! Hey, Xosha!
Al G. Rhythm: Are you serious? [in distorted voice] Zip it! [crowd quiets] You two are a joke, you know that?
Dom James: I got this, Dad.
Al-G Rhythm: [in normal voice] Oh, what? You got something to say?
Dom James: Yeah. I think you want people to fear you more than anything. And I’m not about that, Al G. I’m playing with my dad.
Al-G Rhythm: First of all, it’s Mr. Rhythm to you, you little traitor. Second of all, you’re not. You’re playing against your dad. See what this says? “Goon Squad.” You already made your choice, Dom. Right, Pete? He can’t… [sees Pete whimpering] Pete, are you crying? There’s no crying in the Serververse, Pete! [scoffs] All right. Yeah, all right. I see how it is, Dom. [in distorted voice] I see how it is. I gave you everything!
Foghorn Leghorn: I say, I say, good to have you, son.
Daffy Duck: Great spot for you right here, kid.
Yosemite Sam: We got ’em now!
Speedy Gonzales: Bienvenido, senorito! Somebody get him a new jersey.
Elmer Fudd: Welcome to the hunt.
Sylvester: Sufferin’ succotash!
Granny: I made this, just in case.
Dom James: Thanks, Granny.
Bugs Bunny: Eh. What’s up, Dom?
Lola Bunny: Oh, it’s so nice to meet you.
LeBron James: Here you go, Dom.
Tweety: Really glad to have you on the team!
Dom James: Thanks, Dad.
Al G. Rhythm: Fine. You wanna join these losers? You go ahead, Dom. ‘Cause it’s not your game anymore. [in distorted voice] I am the game. King Kong ain’t got nothin’ on me!
[King Kong gasps, grunts]
[trilling]
Lil Rel Howery: Did you see that?
Ernie Johnson Jr.: Uh-huh.
Lil Rel Howery: The man just grew, like, five feet.
[distorted laugh]
Al-G Rhythm: [in distorted voice] Yo, King. You’re about to lose your family, your friends, those Tunes, everything you love.
LeBron James: I don’t think so.
Bugs Bunny: Oh, it’s on.
[crowd cheering]
[stirring music playing]
Count it!
[beeping]
[crowd cheering]
Yeah, Lola!
All right!
Nice pass, King!
Crowd: [chanting] Let’s go, Tunes! Let’s go, Tunes! Let’s go, Tunes!
Al-G Rhythm: That’s cute. But I thought I told you…
What?
Ugh!
Al-G Rhythm: …it’s my game now.
Yo, yo, switching everything.
Yo’, stay home. Bump out.
Sic ’em, Goons.
[tense music playing]
[crowd cheering]
[bird screams]
LeBron James: Get back, rabbit.
Ow!
Come here!
[Lola grunts]
[grunts]
[grunting]
[The Brow grunts]
[dramatic music playing]
[distorted grunting]
Al G. Rhythm: Incoming!
[winces]
[crowd exclaims]
Al-G Rhythm: Whoo! I’m a monster! We about to break the internet, baby!
It’s over.
Time out.
Oh, brother.
[whistle blows]
Lola Bunny: Did you see that?
He’s cheating!
Well, I say, I say, that plain ol’ sucks.
Listen, it’s all right.
All we gotta do is get one bucket.
How can we score if he controls the game, Doc?
Al G. Rhythm: Whoa! Where my Goons at?
White Mamba: Right here, Coach!
Al G. Rhythm: [chuckles, sings indistinctly] No mercy!
That no-good, despicable son of a glitch!
Yo! That’s it!
Your move, Dad. Remember?
The step-back glitch.
In and out, crossover, step back, shoot. 
That move froze my whole game.
LeBron James: And that’s good because…
Dom James: If the game crashes, Al G. won’t be able to control it anymore.
And if he can’t control it, he can’t stop us from scoring.
Dom James: Right!
Sylvester: Oh, boy!
Porky Pig: Yeah! Yay!
Wait.
That’s not gonna work.
LeBron James: Why not?
Dom James: When my character did the step-back, it got deleted.
So, whoever does the glitch move…
Will get deleted.
[all gasp]
So, I say, so I guess we’re drawing straws.
We are not doing that.
We’ll think of something else.
What about the old alley-oop?
I’m gonna do the step-back.
[all gasp]
Dom James: What? No. Dad, you’ll be deleted.
LeBron James: I’m not a video game character. I think I’ll be okay.
Dom James: Dad, you don’t know that. I’ve done the calculations.
LeBron James: Dom. Somebody’s gotta do something.
LeBron, you don’t have to do this.
All: No!
Listen, just get me the ball.
Hands in.
Tune Squad on three.
One, two, three…
All: Tune Squad!
[dramatic music playing]
[crowd cheering]
The Brow: Here we go.
Yeah, this is fun, huh?
We should just do it again, and again, and again.
Just over, and over, and over for all eternity.
How’s that sound?
Ernie Johnson Jr.: Ten seconds on the clock.
[breathing heavily]
The Tunes are one style point play away from victory, or defeat.
[breathes deeply]
[whistle blows]
[both grunting]
[Ernie] This is their last chance.
Bugs, what are you doing?
And it looks like a broken play!
Bugs Bunny: In and out, crossover, step back…
Lola Bunny: [in slow motion] Bugs, no!
Bugs Bunny: [in slow motion] Shoot!
[glitching]
[inspirational music playing]
[Ernie] Bugs’ shot is gonna be short.
But wait, LeBron is flying through the air!
Dom James: Come on, Dad.
[music stops]
Oh, no.
He’s not gonna make it.
He’s… He’s not…
Gonna make it.
No.
That’s cheating!
[uplifting music playing]
[LeBron yelling]
[buzzer sounds]
[beeping]
Al-G Rhythm: Great. Posterized.
[yelling]
[all cheering]
Yeah! Yes! Let’s go!
Whoo!
We did it! Yeah!
Posterized. Yeah!
Road Runner: Beep, beep.
[Tune Squad cheering]
Lil Rel Howery: The Tunes win! The Tunes win! (laughs)
Ernie Johnson Jr.: Unbelievable! Al G. just got turned into a literal poster.
Al-G Rhythm: [sighs] This is not how I wanted to go out!
[Pete grunts]
Yeah!
I say, I say, that’s all right!
That’s what I’m talkin’ about!
No, no, no, no, no!
Hold on. No! No!
Speedy Gonzales: [laughs] Adios, Goons!
We won! Whoo-hoo! We won!
Give me a hug!
[Taz moans]
Somebody hug me! Anybody?
I love y’all. Yeah, Tunes!
All right, Dad!
Beep, beep.
Great assist, Dom!
[Pete babbles] Whoa!
[all gasp in awe]
[tender music playing]
[people cheering]
Lil Rel Howery: Yes! I never doubted you for a second, LeBron! We are going home! Thank you so much! You are the Akron Hammer. The chosen one! King James, man! I love you! [laughing] We going home.
[crowd continues cheering]
LeBron James: Bugs…
Bugs Bunny: How’d I do, Coach? [glitching]
Lola Bunny: Bugs, that’s the least looney thing you’ve ever done.
Bugs Bunny: You got that right. But taking care of the people you love is fundamental. Right, Doc?
LeBron James: Thank you.
Lola Bunny: Goodbye, Bron.
[LeBron and his family disappear from the Serververse and Tune World is fixed back to normal and in 2D.]
Bugs Bunny: [glitching] We did it. We’re all back together again.
Lola Bunny: (sadly) Bugs.
Bugs Bunny: (smiles one last time) That’s all, folks.
[Bugs disintegrates into pixels and disappears. Meanwhile, LeBron and his family return to the real world in the server room.]
LeBron James: Son?
Dad.
You’re all right, right?
I’m good.
You’re sure?
I’m good.
All right, let’s go home.
Come here, boy.
Xosha James: Daddy!
Baby, hi. Xosha, hey!
Daddy!
Baby!
[Dom] Mom!
[LeBron] Missed y’all so much.
[Darius] Bro, that was amazing.
[Kamiyah] I’m so proud of you!
All my family.
My goodness.
I love you, guys.
[Kamiyah] We love you, too.
[LeBron] Come on, Malik. Come on in, man.
Malik: [tearfully] You the Bron, man!
It’s a family affair, man. Come on in.
Malik: [sobbing] LeBron! LeBron.
[LeBron] Hey, Malik, you good?
No. No, man.
[LeBron] You cryin’?
[Malik] What?
[LeBron] All right.
[Malik] I ain’t crying, bruh.
[LeBron] Okay.
[LeBron] So, Dom, you ready for basketball camp?
[Dom] Yeah. I’m actually pretty excited.
[LeBron] Yeah? Because I know how much you really wanted…
[Dom] I think I’mma just take a break from video games for now.
You know, after we…
Got sucked into one?
Yeah.
Really? Because, like… I mean, I feel like I’ve made a mistake.
I mean, we can turn around right now if you want to.
What are you talking about?
Look.
I mean, I figured it’s about time for you to do you.
[Dom chuckles softly]
[chuckles]
Thank you, Dad.
You’re welcome.
Hey, man, have fun.
Yo, Dom.
Ball?
I think I’mma hold onto it.
Bugs Bunny: Aw, that’s so sweet. What’s up, Doc?
LeBron James: Bugs! How did you…?
Bugs Bunny: Come on. You didn’t think you’d get rid of me that easily, did you? I told ya, I’m a Tune, Doc! I can survive anything!
LeBron James: It’s good to see you, buddy.
Bugs Bunny: Oh, by the way, you think I could crash at your pad for a few days?
LeBron James: Of course. There’s more than enough room for you.
Bugs Bunny: Great! I’ve never been to Tinseltown. I wanna go on a star tour. I hear they love drinking juice here. Oh, do they make carrot juice? 
LeBron James: They juice anything for you here.
Bugs Bunny: Oh, hey, can I stay for Taco Tuesday?
LeBron James: Taco Tuesday! No doubt.
Bugs Bunny: Hope you and Mrs. LeBron got bunk beds ’cause I got some friends who wanna visit.
LeBron James: Hold up, hold up. Bunk beds?
Bugs Bunny: That’s right. I brought the whole gang with me!
LeBron James: What do you mean, “the whole gang”?
Bugs Bunny: You can’t get rid of us now, Doc. We’re family!
[Cut to black. Roll credits. After the credits, we hear Porky's voice.]
Porky Pig: Th-th-that’s all, folks.
[Movie ends.]
Category:Transcripts
Category:Warner Bros. Transcripts
Category:Looney Tunes Transcripts