Transcript:Horrid Henry and the New Teacher

[Mum drops Henry and Peter off at school. Henry joins his friends playing football]
Horrid Henry: Hey, wait for me!
Moody Margaret: Pass! Pass to me, Ralph!
Brainy Brian, Weepy William & Anxious Andrew: Hey!
Rude Ralph: Over here! [Aerobic Al is showing Beefy Bert his karate moves. Jolly Josh, Lazy Linda and Gorgeous Gurinder are laughing at Al] Header Henry!
Horrid Henry: Ow! [trips over Sour Susan's bag and slides along the ground, stopping at Mr Nerdon's feet]
Sour Susan: Henry!
Horrid Henry: Uh-oh!
Mr Nerdon: So, you must be Henry. I've heard all about you.
Horrid Henry: Have you?
Mr Nerdon: [picks Henry up by the collar and puts him down] My name is Nerdon. Mr Nerdon. Sir to you. I'm your teacher until Miss Battle-Axe recovers from the flu. [all gasp] And Henry, be warned: I have a long and very nasty list of punishments, just for you.
[Mr Nerdon walks away]
Weepy William: I don't like today. And, it hasn't even started yet! [cries]
Moody Margaret: He's worse than Miss Battle-Axe.
Rude Ralph: Way worse.
Singing Soraya: He's a bully. He's got to go!
Greedy Graham: But how?
Horrid Henry: Leave it to me!
Gorgeous Gurinder: You're going to get rid of Mr Nerdon all by yourself.
Horrid Henry: Yeah. With a little help from my friends.
Rude Ralph: Yeah.
Horrid Henry: Get ready, Mr Nerdon, here comes Henry!
[Title card shows]
Sour Susan: [reading out her poem] Bow wow, bow wow. Woof woof woof. I'm a dog, not a cat, so scat.
Mr Nerdon: Too much repetition! Write that out 100 times. Next!
Brainy Brian: I want money, I want gold. I want wealth before I'm old. I want coins that I can hold. I want banknotes I can fold.
Mr Nerdon: Too many rhymes! Write that out 300 times. Next... [Horrid Henry blows a piece of chewing gum at him. He turns around and catches it] Hah! [the children all gasp as Mr Nerdon walks up to Henry] Hand. [gives the piece of gum back to Henry] Now read us your poem, Henry.
Horrid Henry: [to Ralph] Hah, this will really gross him out. [stands up] This poem is called 'Better out than in'. Pirates puke on stormy seas. Giants spew on top of trees. [pretends to vomit, Mr Nerdon growls] Kings are sick in golden loos. Dogs throw up on daddy's shoes. [pretends to vomit again. The class laughs] Babies love to make a mess, down the front of Mum's best dress.
Mr Nerdon: Thank you, boy, I think you've made your point.
Horrid Henry: Oh, but I haven't got to the good bit yet.
Mr Nerdon: Obviously. You still have barfing, upchucking, gagging, retching and regurgitating to go. Now sit down. [Henry sits]
Greedy Graham: I threw up on the boat once.
Rude Ralph: I threw up in the car.
Weepy William: I threw up on my teddy.
Mr Nerdon: Silence! You will all stay for detention after school is finished. [class groan simultaneously] Now it's time for the next lesson: music. Follow me. [leads the way to the school hall]
Horrid Henry: [takes some dust out of his desk] Looks like I'm going to have to turn things up a notch. 
Mr Nerdon: Can anyone tell me what music is an expression of?
Brainy Brian: Music is an expression of who we are.
Mr Nerdon: That's right, Brian. Now, I want each of you to pick up the instrument in front of you... [everyone picks up their instruments and starts playing them at the same time] Silence! Double detention after school has finished! [everyone stops playing] One at a time. Susan, you first. [everyone starts playing one after the other, but Henry struggles to play his tuba. He approaches him] What is it, boy?
Horrid Henry: There's something wrong with my tuba, Sir. It's not letting me express myself properly.
Mr Nerdon: Maybe you're not blowing hard enough?
Horrid Henry: I think it's blocked. 
Mr Nerdon: [looks into the tuba] I can't see anything. 
Horrid Henry: [blows a cloud of dust at Mr Nerdon] You're right, Sir. I wasn't blowing hard enough!
Mr Nerdon: (angry) YOU HORRID BOY!!!
Horrid Henry: I was just expressing myself, Sir.
Mr Nerdon: (yelling) HEADMISTRESS'S OFFICE, NOW! [to class] Keep playing!
[Henry puts his trumpet down and goes to Miss Oddbod's office]
Rude Ralph: Do something, Henry!
[Outside Miss Oddbod's office, Henry is watching some frogs in a tank. The door opens and Peter walks in with Miss Lovely]
Horrid Henry: Peter?
Perfect Peter: Hello, Henry! I'm the school messenger today. I've got to deliver all the post to all the teachers.
Miss Lovely: Here's the tray of post, Peter. Now, do you know what you need to do?
Perfect Peter: Oh yes, Miss Lovely.
Miss Oddbod: [comes into the room and puts a parcel on the rack] Ah Peter, congratulations! Being school messenger is an important job. I'm sure you'll do it splendidly. This is for Mr Nerdon.
Perfect Peter: Thank you, Miss Oddbod.
Miss Oddbod: Miss Lovely, may I have a moment of your time? [she sees Henry] Ah Henry, why am I not surprised to see you? I'll deal with you in a moment.
Miss Lovely: Peter, you may return to class.
[Peter goes to leave]
Horrid Henry: So, when do you have to deliver everything in that tray?
Perfect Peter: Um, just before lunch. I'm going to be the best school messenger ever!
Horrid Henry: Just before lunch, eh? Perfect!
[Henry is back in class]
Mr Nerdon: A triple detention, is that all?! Tuh. No discipline in this school, that's the problem. Sit down. [points] Over there. 
Moody Margaret: [Henry sits next to Margaret, whispers in her ear, then pretends to pull her hair] Ooh, oww! 
Mr Nerdon: [faces Henry] Henry, move over there! [Henry moves next to Weepy William. Henry pretends to threaten William. William whimpers] Henry! [Henry moves next to Lazy Linda and pretends to draw on her book] Henry! [Henry moves next to Brainy Brian, takes his pencil and pretends to break it] Henry! [Henry moves next to Beefy Bert and pokes him, but Bert doesn't understand. Bert pushes Henry off his chair onto the floor] Henry! 
Horrid Henry: But he pushed me! 
Mr Nerdon: Did he? I didn't see anything. Last lesson before lunch: Science. 
Horrid Henry: [sits next to Ralph] Don't you worry. I have a plan so brilliantly brilliant, you'll be talking about it forever! [whispers to Ralph]
Mr Nerdon: Silence at the back! 
Horrid Henry: [sits next to Soraya and pulls out his dungeon drink kit] Psst! [Ralph gives thumbs-up sign] [to camera] I love science! 
Mr Nerdon: Now, observe closely. What happens when red dye is mixed with water? You. [points at Beefy Bert] 
Beefy Bert: I dunno. 
Singing Soraya: The water turns red! 
Mr Nerdon: Correct! [takes a drop of red dye and puts in the test tube of water, turning it red. The class are amazed, but William starts crying] What's the matter? 
Weepy William: I don't like red. 
[Mr Nerdon puts a drop of blue dye in, turning the water transparent again]
Gorgeous Gurinder: Oh, look, it's disappeared. 
Horrid Henry: Maybe you could make us disappear, Sir. 
Mr Nerdon: Don't be so stupid, boy. 
Horrid Henry: [when Mr Nerdon's back is turned, Rude Ralph sprinkles dungeon drink powder into the water, turning it pink and making it fizz and overflow] Look, Sir! 
Mr Nerdon: It's not supposed to do that. 
Horrid Henry: [whispers to classmates] Sir. Sir, I don't feel very well. 
Moody Margaret: [Ralph whispers to classmates] [pretends to choke] I can't breathe! 
Anxious Andrew: Ooo, I feel sick! 
Rude Ralph: [pretends to choke] Air! Air! 
Mr Nerdon: Oh, for goodness sake! It's only water! 
[everyone pretends to cough and choke] 
Horrid Henry: We're being poisoned! 
Mr Nerdon: [doesn't know what to do. There's a knock at the door] Come in! [the door opens and Peter walks in] What is it, boy?! 
Perfect Peter: Uh, uh, delivery for you, Sir! 
Mr Nerdon: [takes the parcel from Peter, while Henry inflates a paper bag and pops it, making Mr Nerdon jump and throw the package into the air. The class hides under their tables. The package hits the ground and bursts open, releasing the frogs which jump around the room] What's happened?! Where's my class?! 
Perfect Peter: Um, I think they've all turned into frogs, Sir. 
Mr Nerdon: Frogs?! No, no! It's too much! FROGS! [screams and runs from the room] 
Miss Oddbod: Mr Nerdon? [sees the children sitting at their desks] How strange. 
Mr Nerdon: [running away from the school] NO! NEVER AGAIN! [screams]
Rude Ralph: [laughs] Well, looks like you did it, Henry. 
Horrid Henry: No, Ralph, we did it! 
[Class celebrates. Henry gives a thumbs-up sign to the camera]
Category:Transcripts