Lincoln Loud and Ronnie Anne's Adventures of Aladdin/Transcript

Lincoln Loud and Ronnie Anne's Adventures of Aladdin/Transcript
== Transcript ==
(Fade from black. A tendril of purple mist in front of a wall of red flames. The mist forms into golden letters: "Lincoln Loud and Ronnie Anne's Adventures of Aladdin". The letters shimmer, then blow away. In a desert, a short peddler rides a camel)
[Peddler]
♪ Oh, I come from a land ♪
♪ From a faraway place ♪
♪ Where the caravan camels roam ♪
♪ Where it’s flat and immense ♪
♪ If they don’t like your face ♪
♪ And the heat is intense ♪
♪ It’s barbaric, but hey- it’s home! ♪
♪ When the wind’s from the east ♪
♪ And the sun’s from the west ♪
♪ And the sand in the glass is right ♪
♪ Come on down, ♪
♪ Stop on by ♪
♪ Hop a carpet and fly ♪
♪ To another Arabian night! ♪
♪ Arabian nights ♪
♪ Like Arabian days ♪
♪ More often than not ♪
♪ Are hotter than hot ♪
♪ In a lot of good ways ♪
♪ Arabian nights ♪
♪ ‘Neath Arabian moons♪
♪ A fool off his guard ♪
♪ Could fall and fall hard ♪
♪ Out there on the dunes. ♪
(In a nighttime street, the peddler slides off his camel and addresses us)
[camel panting]
Peddler: Ah, salaam, and good evening to you, worthy friend. Please, please, come closer. Welcome to Agrabah, city of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today. Come on down. Heh, heh. Look at this. Yes. Combination hookah and coffeemaker. Also makes julienne fries. It will not break. (taps it on table) It will not break. (it falls apart) It's broken. Ohh! Look at this. (Pulls out Tupperware) I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. (Pries it open, makes raspberry sound.) Ah, still good. (Camera begins to pan to right. The peddler hurries to catch it.) Wait, don’t go! (Stop pan.) I can see that you’re only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think you would be most rewarded to consider this. (The peddler pulls the magic lamp out from his sleeve.) Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. (Another pan, this one slower to left. Again, the peddler rushes to catch up.) This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man’s life. A young man who, liked this lamp, was more than deep within. The diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? (The peddler pours shiny sand from the lamp into his hand.) It begins on a dark night… (The peddler throws sand into the sky, where it forms a starry nightscape.) where a dark man waits with a dark purpose.
(Camera tilts down to find Jafar sitting on his horse and IAGO on his shoulder. Gazeem comes riding up to the pair.)
[horse nickers]
Jafar: You are late.
Gazeem: A thousand apologies, O patient one.
Jafar: You have it then?
Gazeem: I had to slit a few throats, but I got it. (Pulls out half of the medallion. Jafar reaches out for it, but Gazeem yanks it back.) Ah-ah-ahhh. The treasure. (Iago squawks as he flies by and grabs the medallion.) Ow!
Jafar: Trust me, my pungent friend. You’ll get what’s coming to you.
Iago: What’s coming to you. Awk!
(Jafar pulls out the second half of the medallion. He connects them, and the insect medallion begins to glow. Finally, it flies out of Jafar’s hand, scaring the horses, and is off towards the dunes.)
Jafar: Quickly! Follow the trail! Faster.
(All ride off, following the glowing speck of light, until it reaches a large dune. It separates into two and the halves plunge into the dune. All that remains are two glowing points of light on the dune. But then the dune begins to rise up, transforming into a giant lion’s head, with the glowing points serving as the eyes.)
[horse neighs]
Jafar: At last, after all my years of searching… the Cave of Wonders.
Iago: Awk. Cave of Wonders?
Gazeem: (whispering) By Allah.
Jafar: Now, remember. Bring me the lamp. The rest of the treasure is yours, but the lamp is mine.
(Gazeem starts to approach the lion’s mouth, which forms the entrance to the cave. He chuckles as he goes.)
Iago: Awk, the lamp. (Now that Iago and Jafar are alone, Iago opens up in normal English.) Geez, where’d ya dig this bozo up?
(Jafar puts his finger to his lips and shushes him. Gazeem reaches the cave, but is blown away by the roar of the cave’s speaking.)
Cave: Who disturbs my slumber?
Gazeem: (gasps) Uh, it is I, Gazeem, a humble thief.
Cave: Know this. Only one may enter here, one whose worth lies deep within. A diamond in the rough.
(Gazeem turns to Jafar with a questioning look.)
Jafar: What are you waiting for? Go on.
(Gazeem hesitates, then moves one foot inside the cave.)
[beast sighing]
(Gazeem reaches the magic lamp. Then another roar comes. He turns back, but the lion’s mouth slams shut and the dune collapses back to normal. All that are left are Jafar, Iago, and the 2 separated halves of the medallion.)
Jafar: NOOOO!
Cave: Seek thee out the diamond in the rough.
(Iago unburied himself from the sand, coughing as he does so.)
Iago: (coughing) I can’t believe it. I just don’t believe it. We’re never gonna get a hold of that tinpot lamp. Just forget it. Look at this. Look at this. I’m so ticked off that I’m molting. (He flies up to Jafar's shoulder.)
Jafar: Patience, Iago. Patience. Gazeem was death than worthy.
Iago: (Extremely sarcastically) Oh, there’s a big surprise. That’s an incred… I think I’m gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprise. What are we gonna do? We got a big problem here, a big… (Jafar pinches his beak shut.)
Jafar: Yes. Only one may enter here. I must find this one, this… diamond in the rough.
Lincoln Loud: Here we are guys Taj Mahal, Agrabah.
Sid Chang: Cool!
Adelaide Chang: I hope we get to see the streets of Agrabah.
Ronnie Anne Santiago: Ooh I like that.
Razoul: Stop! Thief!
Lincoln Loud: I think we heard that noise about that guard was chasing that street rat took a loaf of bread.
Razoul: I'll have your hands for a trophy, street rat.
Aladdin: All this for a loaf of bread? Whoa!
[screaming]
Guard 1: There he is!
Guard 2: You won't get away so easy!
Aladdin: You think that was easy?
Lincoln Loud: Hey, Everything OK!
Aladdin: I hope so kid!
[giggling]
Razoul: You two, over that way, and you, follow me. We'll find him.
Aladdin: Morning, ladies.
Woman: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we, Aladdin?
Aladdin: Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught.
Razoul: Gotcha.
Aladdin: I'm in trouble.
Razoul: And this time...
[monkey squeaking]
Aladdin: Perfect timing, Abu, as usual.
Abu: Abu.
Sid Chang: Who's that monkey?
Aladdin: This is Abu! He's my sidekick monkey! Come on. Let's get outta here. ♪ Gotta keep, one jump ahead of the breadline. One swing, ahead of the sword, I steal only what I can't afford. ♪ That's everything. ♪ One jump ahead of the lawmen. That's all and that's no joke. These guys don't appreciate I'm broke. ♪
Guard 3: Riffraf.
Both: Street rat.
Guard 4: Scoundrel.
Man: Take that.
Aladdin: ♪ Just a little snack, guys. ♪
Guards: ♪ Rip him open, take it back, guys. ♪
Aladdin: ♪ I can take a hint, gotta face the facts, you're my only friend, Abu. ♪
Women: Who? ♪ Oh! It's sad Aladdin's hit the bottom. He's become a one-man rise in crime. ♪
Woman: ♪ I'd blame parents, except he hasn't gone 'em. ♪
Aladdin: ♪ Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, tell you all about it when I got the time. One jump ahead of the slowpokes. One skip ahead of my doom. Next time, gonna use a nom de plume. ♪
Razoul: There he is.
Aladdin: ♪ One jump ahead of the hitman. One hit ahead of the flock. I think I'll take a stroll around the block. ♪
Man: Stop, thief. Vandal.
Aladdin: Abu!
Woman: Scandal.
Aladdin: ♪ Let's not be too hasty. ♪
Woman: ♪ Still I think he's rather tasty! ♪
Aladdin: ♪ Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, otherwise, we'd get along. ♪
Guards: Wrong.
Main Guard: Get him! He's got a sword!
Razoul: You idiots. We've all got swords.
[groaning]
Aladdin: ♪ One jump ahead of the hoofbeats. ♪
Guards: Vandal!
Aladdin: ♪ One hop ahead of the hump. ♪
Guards: Street rat!
Aladdin: ♪ One trick ahead of disaster. ♪
Guards: Scoundrel!
Aladdin: ♪ They're quick, but I'm much faster. Here goes, better throw my hand in, wish me happy landin', all I gotta do is jump! ♪
Guards: Yuck! Oy!
Aladdin: And now, esteemed effendi, we feast. All right.
Ronnie Anne Santiago: (laughing) You're awesome! I'm Ronnie Anne Santiago!
Lincoln Loud: I'm Lincoln Loud!
Sid Chang: I'm Sid Chang!
Adelaide Chang: And I'm Adelaide Chang!
Aladdin: I'm Aladdin!
(ALADDIN breaks the bread in two and gives half to ABU, who begins to eat. But ALADDIN looks over and sees two young children rummaging through the garbage for food. The GIRL sees him, then drops her find and tries to hide. ALADDIN looks at them, then the bread, then at ABU.)
Abu: Uh-oh!
(Abu takes a big bite of his food, but Aladdin gets up and walks over to the children. The GIRL pulls her brother back.)
Ronnie Anne Santiago: I think those children wants a loaf of bread.
Aladdin: You're right Ronnie Anne! Here, go on--take it.
(The children giggle with delight. ABU tries to swallow his bite, then looks guilty. He walks over to the children and offers his bread to them. In delight, they pet him on the head.)
Abu: Ah, don’t. Huh?
(Abu sees Aladdin walking into the daylight, where there is a parade going on. Aladdin peers over the shoulders of people. He sees Prince Achmed riding on a horse.)
Lincoln Loud: Guys look! It's Prince Achmed and his horse.
Sid Chang: Cool! Let's check it out Adelaide!
Adelaide Chang: Sure!
BYSTANDER 1: On his way to the palace, I suppose.
BYSTANDER 2: Another suitor for the princess.
(ALADDIN is startled as the two children come running out from the alley. The BOY runs out in front of the ACHMED’s horse, startling it.)
ACHMED: Out of my way, you filthy brat!
ALADDIN: Hey If I was rich as you. I could have afford some manners!
ACHMED: I teach you some manners!
(ACHMED kicks ALADDIN into a mud puddle. The crowd laugh at him.)
Ronnie Anne Santiago: Are you okay Aladdin!
ALADDIN: I'm fine Ronnie Anne. Look at that, Abu. It’s not every day you see a horse with two rear ends!
(ACHMED stops and turns back to ALADDIN.)
ACHMED: Oh! You and your friends are a worthless street rat! You were born a street rat, you’ll die a street rat, and only your fleas will mourn you.
(ALADDIN rushes ACHMED, but the doors to the castle slam shut in his face.)
Lincoln Loud: Dang it!
ALADDIN: I’m not worthless. And I don’t have fleas. Come on, Abu. Let’s go home.
Sid Chang: Where are you going now Al?
Aladdin: To my home!
Lincoln Loud: That's cool! Can you show us!
Aladdin: Sure kid! (ALADDIN makes the climb to his home with the view, then tucks in ABU for the night.)
ALADDIN: Riffraff, street rat. I don’t buy that. If only they’d look closer Would they see a poor boy? No siree. They’d find out, there’s so much more to me.
Ronnie Anne Santiago: You live in this home!
Aladdin: Yeah! And you guys live in Royal Woods and Great Lakes City.
Lincoln Loud: It was cool! I hope Tinkerbell and her friends are here to join us at Agrabah!
Adelaide Chang: Who's Tinkerbell and her friends?
Lincoln Loud: Oh you know our fairy friends in Pixie Hollow of Neverland.
Aladdin: That's right kids! (He pulls back a curtain to reveal the beautiful palace.) Someday, Abu, things are gonna change. We’ll be rich, live in a palace, and never have any problems at all.
[roosters crowing]
(Dissolve to same shot during day. Cut to int. of SULTAN’s chamber. The door bursts open, and PRINCE ACHMED storms in, missing the rear end of his pants.)
Prince Achmed: I've never been so insulted.
Sultan: Oh, Prince Achmed. You're not leaving so soon, are you?
Prince Achmed: Good luck marrying her off.
Sultan: Oh! Jasmine. Jasmine! Jasmine! Jasmine!
[snarling]
Sultan: Confound it, Rajah. So, this is why Prince Achmed stormed out.
Jasmine: Oh, Father. Rajah was just playing with him. Weren't you, Rajah? You were just playing with that overdressed, self-absorbed Prince Achmed, weren't you?
[both laughing]
[clears throat]
Sultan: Dearest, you've got to stop rejecting every suitor who comes to call. The law says...
Both: You must be married to a prince...
Sultan: By your next birthday.
Jasmine: The law is wrong.
Sultan: You've only got three more days.
Jasmine: Father, I hate being forced into this. If I do marry, I want it to be for love.
Sultan: Jasmine... it's not only this law. I'm not going to be around forever, and, well, I... I just want to make sure you're taken care of. Provided for.
Jasmine: Please try to understand. I've never done a thing on my own. I've never had any real friends.
[grumbles]
Jasmine: Except you, Rajah. I've never even been outside the palace walls.
Sultan: But, Jasmine, you're a princess.
Jasmine: Then maybe I don't want to be a princess anymore.
Sultan: Oooh! I... I... Allah forbid you should have any daughters.
Rajah: Hmm?
(RAJAH looks up and thinks for a second. JASMINE goes to the dove cage and yanks open the door. The birds fly off into freedom. She watches them go. Cut to int. of SULTAN’s chambers.)
SULTAN: I don’t know where she gets it from. Her mother wasn’t nearly so picky. (A shadow falls over him. He looks up startled and sees JAFAR.) Ooh, oh. Ah, Jafar--my most trusted advisor. I am in desperate need of your wisdom.
JAFAR: My life is but to serve you, my lord. (He bows.)
SULTAN: It’s this suitor business. Jasmine refuses to choose a husband. I’m at my wit’s-end.
IAGO: (In the parrot voice) Awk! Wit’s-end.
SULTAN: Oh, ha ha. Have a cracker, pretty polly! (He pulls a cracker out from his pocket. IAGO looks terrified. Then the SULTAN stuffs it in IAGO’s mouth. IAGO grimaces as he tries to eat it. JAFAR and the SULTAN both laugh.)
JAFAR: Your majesty certainly has a way with dumb animals. (IAGO glares at him.) Now then, perhaps I can divine a solution to this thorny problem.
SULTAN: If anyone can help, it’s you.
JAFAR: Ah, but it would require the use of the mystic blue diamond.
SULTAN: Uh, my ring? But it’s been in the family for years.
JAFAR: It is necessary to find the princess a suitor. (JAFAR says the word ‘princess’ with the accent on the second syllable, "cess." He turns his staff with a cobra head towards the SULTAN. The eyes of the staff begin to glow. The room darkens, JAFAR’s voice slows down and deepens. The SULTAN’s eyes get a hypnotized look.) Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.
SULTAN: Everything…will be…fine.
JAFAR: The diamond in the rough.
SULTAN: Here, Jafar. Whatever you need will be fine.
(The SULTAN removes his ring and hands it to JAFAR. The room returns to normal as JAFAR pulls back the staff.)
JAFAR: You are most gracious, my liege. Now run along and play with your little toys.
SULTAN: (Still hypnotized) Yes…that’ll be…pretty good.
(JAFAR and IAGO exit. We follow them. When they’re out of the room, the parrot spits out the cracker.)
IAGO: I can’t take it anymore! If I gotta choke down on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers…bam! Whack!
(JAFAR pulls a rope, which reveals a hidden entrance to his chambers.)
JAFAR: Calm yourself, Iago.
IAGO: Then I’d grab him around the head. Whack! Whack!
JAFAR: (Speaking over IAGO.) Soon, I will be sultan, not that addlepated twit.
IAGO: And then I stuff the crackers down his throat! Ha ha!
(The pair pass through a door and slam it shut. Diss. to ext. gardens at night. A shadowy figure walks through. We see it is JASMINE in disguise. She reaches the palace wall, then begins to climb it. She is tugged from behind by RAJAH.)
JASMINE: Oh, I’m sorry, Rajah. But I can’t stay here and have my life lived for me. I’ll miss you.(She begins to climb again, and is helped up by RAJAH, who begins to whine and whimper.) Good bye!
(She disappears over the wall. Cut to daytime on the street LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE, SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, ALADDIN and ABU are up to their capers again. They are on top of the awning of a fruit stand.)
Lincoln Loud: Now it's our chance to get a melon for us guys!
ALADDIN: Sure Lincoln! Okay, Abu. Go!
(ABU dips over the edge and looks at the PROPRIETOR.)
PROPRIETOR: (To passing crowd) Try this, your taste buds will dance and sing. (ABU grabs a melon and hangs there, distracting his attention.) Hey, get your paws off that.
ABU: Blah blah blah!
PROPRIETOR: Why, you. Get away from here, you filthy ape.
(He grabs the melon away from ABU. But in the foreground, ALADDIN dips down and snatches another melon from the stand.)
ABU: Bye bye.
(He zings back up. The PROPRIETOR takes the melon to the front, where he places it on top of a stack. He looks confused, like he has just done this.)
Sid Chang: Great job little monkey!
ALADDIN: Nice goin’ Abu. Breakfast is served.
(LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, ALADDIN and ABU on the roof break open the melon and eat. We see JASMINE walking through the street.)
SHOPKEEPER 1: Pretty lady, buy a pot. No finer pot in brass or silver.
SHOPKEEPER 2: Sugar dates, sugar dates and figs! Sugar dates and pistachios!
SHOPKEEPER 3: Would the lady like a necklace. A pretty necklace for a pretty lady.
(She is charmed by the action, but is startled by a fish thrust into her face.)
SHOPKEEPER 4: Fresh fish! We catch ‘em, you buy ‘em!
JASMINE: I don’t think so. (She backs away, but bumps into a fire eater, who is startled into swallowing his fire.) Oh, excuse me. (He gulps, then belches fire from his mouth. JASMINE is disgusted. He is pleased and taps his stomach. LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, ALADDIN sees her, and a strange look comes over his face.) I’m really very sorry.
ALADDIN: (He’s obviously deeply in love with her.) Wow.
(She pulls the hood of her cloak over her head. ABU sees him and jumps up on his shoulder, waving his hand in front of ALADDIN’s face.)
ABU: Uh oh. Hello? Hello?
(JASMINE stops at the fruit stand and sees a young homeless child reaching for a piece of fruit. She picks one up and gives it to him.)
JASMINE: Oh, you must be hungry. Here you go. (The boy runs off.)
PROPRIETOR: You’d better be able to pay for that.
JASMINE: (Mystified) Pay?
PROPRIETOR: No one steals from my cart.
JASMINE: Oh, I’m sorry sir. I don’t have any money.
PROPRIETOR: Thief.
JASMINE: Please, if you let me go to the palace, I can get some from the Sultan.
PROPRIETOR: Do you know what the penalty is for stealing?
(He takes her hand and pins it down on the table, intending to chop it off.)
JASMINE: No, no please.
(The sword drops, but his hand is stopped by ALADDIN’s.)
ALADDIN: Thank you kind sir. I’m so glad you’ve found her. I’ve been looking all over for you.
JASMINE: (whispering) What are you doing?
ALADDIN: (whispering back) Just play along.
PROPRIETOR: You know this girl?
ALADDIN: Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She’s a little crazy. (He circles his finger around his ear. She is shocked. The PROPRIETOR grabs him by the vest.) PROPRIETOR: She said she knows the Sultan.
ALADDIN: She thinks the monkey is the Sultan.
(ABU is picking a pocket. He hears this, then straightens up. JASMINE, playing along, kneels and bows to ABU.)
JASMINE: Oh, wise Sultan. How may I serve you?
ABU: Well, blah blah blah blah.
ALADDIN: Tragic, isn’t it? (He leans forward, picking up another apple from the cart with his foot.) But, no harm done. (Walks over to Jasmine.) Now come along sis. Time to see the doctor.
JASMINE: (To a camel standing nearby) Oh, hello doctor. How are you?
ALADDIN: No, no, no. Not that one. (To ABU, whose pockets are bulging.) Come on, guys.
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Okay! Let's go Sultan!
(ABU bows to the crowd and everything he’s stolen from the cart falls out.)
LINCOLN LOUD: Uh-oh Ronnie Anne Looks like they're chasing us!
PROPRIETOR: Huh? What is it? (ABU picks up what he can carry, and the trio run off.) Come back here, you little thieves!
(Cut to int. of JAFAR’s lab. IAGO is running on a gear in a bizarre contraption. At the top of the contraption is a storm brewing.)
[explosion]
IAGO: (huffing and puffing) With all due respect, Your Rottenness, couldn’t we just wait for a real storm?
JAFAR: Save your breath, Iago. Faster. (He places the SULTAN’s ring in the contraption.)
IAGO: Yes, O mighty Evil One. [panting]
(IAGO runs faster. A lightning bolt streaks through the ring, passing into an hourglass below. The sands begin to swirl.)
JAFAR: Part, sands of time. Reveal to me the one who can enter the cave. (The sand in top forms the Cave of Wonders. It falls through into a storm, but it shows ALADDIN climbing up a ladder, followed by JASMINE who is covered in her cloak.) Yes... Yes! There he is. My diamond in the rough.
IAGO: That’s him? That’s the clown we’ve been waitin’ for? (IAGO loses his footing and is sucked into the gears.)
JAFAR: Let’s have the guards extend him an invitation to the palace, shall we?
(IAGO goes flying past and slams into the wall upside down.)
IAGO: Swell. [coughs]
(JAFAR laughs hideously, and the camera zooms in on the sandstorm with ALADDIN in it. Finally, we dissolve into the real ALADDIN climbing to the top of the ladder, followed by JASMINE.)
[sinister laughter]
ALADDIN: Almost there.
(JASMINE climbs over the top, but trips and falls into ALADDIN’s arms. She stands up.)
Lincoln Loud: We're safe from those guards! Right guys!
Ronnie Anne Santiago: Yeah, we weirdos clean up nice.
JASMINE: I want to thank you for stopping that man.
ALADDIN: Uh, forget it. (He grabs a pole.) So, uh, this is your first time in the marketplace, huh?
(ALADDIN pole vaults to the next building, leaving JASMINE behind.)
JASMINE: Is it that obvious?
ALADDIN: Well, you do kinda stand out. (He stares at her, still in love. She returns the look. But he realizes what he is doing, and returns to normal.) I mean, uh, you don’t seem to know how dangerous Agrabah can be. (He lays a plank between the buildings for her to walk over, but as he is leaned down, she vaults over his head. He looks back in surprise. She tosses the pole to him. Both ALADDIN’s and ABU’s eyes bulge.)
Lincoln Loud: What is that?
JASMINE: I’m a fast learner.
ALADDIN: Right. C’mon, this way. (They go inside the roof of a building, dodging planks and beams as they go.) Whoa. Watch your head there. Be careful.
JASMINE: Is this where you live?
ALADDIN: Yep. Just me and Abu, and my friends Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago and Sid and her sister Adelaide Chang. Come and go as we please.
JASMINE: Fabulous.
ALADDIN: Well, it’s not much, (he pulls back the curtain and exposes the palace) but it’s got a great view. Palace looks pretty amazing, huh?
Lincoln Loud: Oh! This view is amazing!
JASMINE: Oh, it’s wonderful.
ALADDIN: I wonder what it would be like to live there, to have servants and valets…
Ronnie Anne Santiago: I'm so glad my 3 best buds are finally meeting!
Sid Chang: I've heard a lot about you, Jasmine, I can see why Ronnie Anne loves being your friend, and nothing more.
JASMINE: Oh, sure. People who tell you where to go and how to dress.
ALADDIN: It’s better than here. Always scraping for food and ducking the guards.
JASMINE: You’re not free to make your own choices.
ALADDIN: Sometimes you feel so--
JASMINE: You’re just--
BOTH: (in unison) --trapped.
(They look at each other, realizing that they’re perfect for one another. But ALADDIN then realizes where he is, and breaks the look. He takes the apple out of ABU’s hand and rolls it down his arm into the hand of JASMINE.)
ALADDIN: So, uh, where’re you from?
JASMINE: What does it matter? I ran away, and I am not going back.
ALADDIN: Really? How come? (He takes a bite from the apple in his hand, then hands it to ABU, who has a disgusted look on his face.)
ABU: Why you...!
(ALADDIN walks over and sits next to JASMINE.)
JASMINE: My father’s forcing me to get married.
ALADDIN: That’s--that’s awful.
Ronnie Anne Santiago: Uhh.. Aladdin I think Abu was getting that apple again!
(ABU appears from behind the princess and tries to steal the apple.)
ALADDIN: Abu!
Adelaide Chang: Don't you dare!
(ABU races up to a higher point, chattering and cursing as he goes.)
JASMINE: What?
ALADDIN: Abu says that--uh--that’s not fair.
ABU: What?
JASMINE: Oh did he?
ALADDIN: Yeah, of course.
JASMINE: And does Abu have anything else to say?
ALADDIN: Well, uh, he wishes there was something he could do to help.
ABU: Oh, boy!
JASMINE: Hmm... tell him that’s very... sweet.
(ALADDIN and JASMINE have been getting closer and closer, until ALADDIN leans in to kiss her. He is interrupted, however, by the GUARDS, who have found them.)
GUARD: Here you all are!
ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID AND ADELAIDE CHANG and JASMINE: They’re after me! (To each other) They’re after you?
JASMINE: My father must have sent them--
ALADDIN: Do you trust me?
JASMINE: What?
ALADDIN: Do you trust me? (He extends his hand)
JASMINE: Yes. (She takes it.)
ALADDIN: Then jump everyone!
(They all jump off the roof, fall and land in a pile of salt. They try to get away, but the exit is blocked by a GUARD.)
GUARD: We just keep running into each other, don’t we, street rat?
(Again, the GUARD’s turban is pulled down by ABU, but more guards are here and block the exit. The first GUARD pulls ABU off his head and throws him in a vase. Three other GUARDS grab ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG AND RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO.)
GUARD: It’s the dungeon for you, kids.
ALADDIN: Hey, get off of me!
LINCOLN LOUD: Yeah! Let us go!
JASMINE: Let go of them.
GUARD: (Not realizing she is the princess) Look what we have here, men--a street mouse. (He throws her down.)
JASMINE: (standing up and pulling off the hood of her cloak) Unhand him, by order of the princess!
(The GUARDS suddenly stop and bow, forcing ALADDIN to bow as well.)
GUARD: Princess Jasmine.
ALADDIN: The princess?
ABU: (peeking out from the vase) The princess?
LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID AND ADELAIDE CHANG: The princess?
GUARD: What are you doing outside the palace? And with this street rat?
JASMINE: That’s not your concern. Do as I command. Release them!
GUARD: Well, I would, princess, but my orders come from Jafar. You’ll have to take it up with him.
(The GUARDS drag ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID AND ADELAIDE CHANG out, bowing as they go.)
JASMINE: (getting a very pissed-off look) Believe me, I will.
(Cut to int. of palace, JAFAR emerging from his secret chambers. He slides the door shut carefully, but the princess comes storming in before he is finished. He slams it shut, pinning IAGO inside the door frame.)
JASMINE: Jafar?
JAFAR: Oh, uh, princess.
IAGO: Awk! Jafar, I’m stuck!
JAFAR: How may I be of service to you? (He spreads out his cape, hiding the door.)
JASMINE: The guards just took a boy from the market with Lincoln Loud and his friends, on your orders.
JAFAR: Your father’s charged me with keeping peace in Agrabah. The boy was a criminal with his friends.
JASMINE: What was the crime?
IAGO: I can’t breathe, Jafar.
JAFAR: Why, kidnapping the princess, of course.
IAGO: If you could just--(JAFAR kicks him back inside the door and it slams shut)--wow, that hurt!
JASMINE: He didn’t kidnap me! I ran away!
JAFAR: (Walking away as if shocked) Oh, dear! Oh, how frightfully upsetting. Had I but known.
JASMINE: What do you mean?
JAFAR: Sadly, the boy’s sentence has already been carried out.
JASMINE: What sentence?
JAFAR: (with a sinister tone) Death. (JASMINE gasps.) By beheading.
JASMINE: No! (She collapses to the floor.)
JAFAR: I am exceedingly sorry, princess.
JASMINE: How could you? (She runs from the room crying.)
(IAGO finally makes it out through the door. He flies up and lands on JAFAR’s shoulder, coughing.)
IAGO: So, how did it go?
JAFAR: I think she took it... rather well. (They both get a sinister smile on their faces.)
(Diss. to JASMINE at night, crying at the edge of the fountain. RAJAH comes over to comfort her. She pets him.)
JASMINE: It’s all my fault, Rajah. I didn’t even know his name.
(Cut to int. of dungeon. Rats scurry by, and we descend until we see ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID AND ADELAIDE CHANG chained to the wall.)
ALADDIN: (to himself) She was the princess. I can’t believe it. I must have sounded so stupid to her!
Lincoln Loud: Yeah! She was a princess guys!
Ronnie Anne Santiago: Those guards are rude and gross and totally annoying!
(Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago. Sid and Adelaide Chang saw Tinkerbell and her friends in the dungeon.)
Tinkerbell: Hey guys!
Lincoln Loud: Tinkerbell, Fawn, Silvermist, Iridessa, Rosetta, Vidia.
Ronnie Anne Santiago: Hey fairies it's good to see you.
Tinkerbell: It's great to see you too kids. We made it to Agrabah Taj Mahal.
Aladdin: Talking fairies!
Rosetta: It's okay kid. Abu, my friends and I came to rescue you.
ABU: (from a distance) Yoo-hoo! Aladdin? Hello!
(ABU appears at the window at the top of the dungeon.)
ALADDIN: Abu! Down here! Hey, c’mon--help me outta these.
(ABU stops, then begins chattering wildly, dropping to the ground. He wraps a cloth around his head and makes his eyes big in an imitation of the princess.)
ALADDIN: Hey, she was in trouble. Ah, she was worth it.
(ABU jumps up on ALADDIN’s shoulders and pulls a small set of tools out of his pocket, then frees ALADDIN.)
ABU: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ALADDIN: Don’t worry, Abu. I’ll never see her again. I’m a street rat, remember, and there’s a law. She’s gotta marry a prince. She deserves a prince.
(ABU finally frees LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG AND ALADDIN’s hands.)
ABU: Ta da!
Sid Chang: Thanks Abu!
ALADDIN: You must be Tinkerbell and her friends from Pixie Hollow of Neverland.
Tinkerbell: Yeah!
Fawn: We can't believe we're over here!
Sid Chang: I'm Sid Chang! And This is my sister Adelaide Chang.
Tinkerbell: Hey Adelaide! I'm Tinkerbell!
Adelaide Chang: You jingle when you talk like a little bell! So that's how fairy speak!
Lincoln Loud: So you guys want us to get out of here!
Silvermist: That's right!
Adelaide Chang: Well Tinkerbell! My name is Adelaide Chang! (shake hands)
Rosetta: It is nice to meet you! I am Rosetta. This is…
Vidia: Ro, Lincoln Loud and Ronnie Anne are in Agrabah with Sid and her sister Adelaide Chang.
Rosetta: Oh, right. I know, I know. I'm just so excited!
Sid Chang: Nice to meet you fairies!
Silvermist: This is so remarkable! You two are sisters!
Vidia: Yeah. A little fairy-to-fairy advice. Tink can be tricky to get along with at times.
Tinker Bell: Yeah! Look who's talking!
ALADDIN: (Rubbing his wrists) I’m a… I’m a fool.
Lincoln Loud: You're not a fool Aladdin. You're a street rat!
Aladdin: I know Lincoln!
OLD MAN: You’re only a fool if you give up, boy.
(We see an OLD MAN sitting in the corner that neither ALADDIN nor ABU have seen before.)
ALADDIN: Who are you?
OLD MAN: A lowly prisoner like yourself. But together, perhaps we can be more.
ALADDIN: I’m listening.
OLD MAN: There is a cave, boy... a Cave of Wonders, filled with treasures beyond your wildest dreams. Treasure enough to impress even your princess, I’d wager.
(Listeners will note that the OLD MAN pronounced the word ’princess’ as "prin-CESS" rather than the standard pronunciation of "PRIN-cess." The OLD MAN turns his back, and IAGO sticks his head out of JAFAR’s "old man" disguise.)
IAGO: Jafar, can ya hurry up? I’m dyin’ in here. [squawking]
ALADDIN: But the law says that only a prince can…
OLD MAN: You and your friends have heard of the golden rule, haven’t you? Whoever has the gold makes the rules. (He grins, showing a hideously bad mouth.) [wheezing laugh]
ALADDIN: So why would you share all this wonderful treasure with me the fairies and my friends?
OLD MAN: I need a young pair of legs and a strong back to go in after it.
ALADDIN: Uh, one problem. It’s out there. We’re in here.
(The OLD MAN walks to a wall and pushes open a hidden exit.)
OLD MAN: Mm-mm-mm. Things aren’t always what they seem. So… do we have a deal?
(ALADDIN looks at ABU, who shrugs his shoulders.)
ABU: Oh, I don’t know.
(Cut to desert scene. We see ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, FAWN, VIDIA, ROSETTA, SILVERMIST AND IRIDESSA leading a horse with the OLD MAN and ABU on it. Diss. to cave of wonders.)
[thunder crashing]
CAVE: Who disturbs my slumber?
ALADDIN: Uh, it is I, Aladdin and my friends Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago Sid and Adelaide Chang.
LINCOLN LOUD: And our fairy friends Tinkerbell, Vidia, Silvermist, Iridessa, Fawn and Rosetta.
CAVE: Proceed. Touch nothing but the lamp.
(The cave opens up with a roar, and a staircase appears in front of ALADDIN. )
OLD MAN: Remember, boy, first fetch me the lamp, and then you shall have your reward.
ALADDIN: Come on, Abu. (to ABU hiding under the shoulder of his vest.)
[squeaking]
(ALADDIN begins to descend the staircase with Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago, Sid, Adelaide Chang, Tinkerbell, Fawn, Vidia, Rosetta, Iridessa and Silvermist. He reaches the bottom and enters a golden chamber filled with treasure.)
ALADDIN: Would you guys look at that?
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Cool!
ABU: [whimpering] Uh oh.
ALADDIN: Just a handful of this stuff would make me richer than the Sultan.
(ABU peeks out, sees the treasure, then bolts for it.)
ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, ROSETTA, FAWN, IRIDESSA, SILVERMIST AND VIDIA: Abu.
[whines]
(ABU stops in mid run, hovering over a rug on the floor.)
ALADDIN: Don’t… touch… anything. We gotta find that lamp.
Tinkerbell: You heard him Abu!
(They begin to make their way through the room when the CARPET rises off the floor and begins following them. ABU gets the feeling they’re being followed.)
ABU: Huh?
(He turns, and the CARPET lies flat on the floor. He continues, and the CARPET begins to follow again. Again, ABU turns back, but the CARPET is rolled up and leaning against a pile of treasure. ABU runs to ALADDIN and tugs his pant leg.)
ABU: Aladdin, Aladdin.
ALADDIN: Abu, will you knock it off?
SID CHANG: He's right Abu! You've got nothing to worry about!
(Again the CARPET follows, but this time, when ABU turns, the carpet jumps to the other side. It reaches down with a tassel and pulls ABU’s tail. When ABU jumps around, CARPET again goes to the other side. This time, ABU lands in a karate stance. CARPET reaches down and plucks ABU’s hat off, then puts it on himself. ABU sits thinking for a second, until CARPET waves a tassel in front of his face. ABU and CARPET both jump scared, and run away. ABU tackles ALADDIN and turns his head to look at the CARPET.)
[screeches]
ALADDIN: Abu, what are you, crazy?
(The CARPET peeks out from behind a pile of treasure.)
LINCOLN LOUD: Aladdin I think that rug was chasing Abu.
SILVERMIST: A magic carpet will introduce us.
ALADDIN: You're right Silvermist! A magic carpet. Come on. Come on out. I'm not gonna hurt you.
(The CARPET slowly comes out, shyly, then picks up ABU’s hat and dusts it off. It flies over to ALADDIN and hands the hat to ABU next to him. ABU screeches, and jumps onto ALADDIN’s shoulder.)
[screeches]
ALADDIN: Hey, take it easy, Abu. He’s not gonna bite. Thanks.
(The CARPET again picks up ABU’s hat and hands it to him. ABU shakes his fist and screeches at it. CARPET begins to walk away, "sadly.")
[squeaking]
Rosetta: That poor carpet. He looks so upset!
Tinkerbell: I think the magic carpet will help us.
ALADDIN: Hey good idea Tink. Hey. Wait a minute. Don’t go. Maybe you can help us. (CARPET looks back, excited. It then flies over and wraps around the pair.) Hey, whoa. You see, we’re trying to find this lamp. (CARPET motions for them to follow it.) I think he knows where it is.
[squeaks excitedly] [echoes]
(They pass through a long cave, until they emerge in a giant underground cavern. In the center of the room is a tall pillar, with a staircase going up to it. It is surrounded by water with unevenly placed stones forming a bridge. At the top of the pillar is a beam of light. ALADDIN begins to cross the bridge.)
Lincoln Loud: Listen closely and you see a magic lamp.
Iridessa: That's right Lincoln!
Rosetta: So I guess we need to find a bridge!
Vidia: It's not deep. We can walk across.
Ronnie Anne Santiago: Guys! The lamp!
Adelaide Chang: We found it Aladdin!
ALADDIN: Stay here kids! And Pixie Hollow Heroes [whispers] Wait here.
ABU: [moaning] Oh. Huh? Oh!
(ABU sees a shrine with a golden monkey. The outstretched paws hold a giant ruby. ABU is hypnotically drawn to it. ALADDIN climbs the stairs quickly. CARPET, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, TINKERBELL, ROSETTA, VIDIA, FAWN, IRIDESSA, SILVERMIST, SID AND ADELAIDE CHANG sees ABU and grabs his tail trying in vain to hold him back. ALADDIN finally reaches the MAGIC LAMP.)
ALADDIN: This is it? This is what we came all the way down here to… (He looks down and sees ABU break free of CARPET’s hold and lunge toward the jewel.) Abu! No!
(ABU grabs the jewel. There is a rumbling and the room begins to shake.)
CAVE VOICE: Infidels!
ABU: Uh oh.
TINKERBELL: Look what you've done!
CAVE VOICE: You have touched the forbidden treasure! (ABU places the jewel back into the paw, but the jewel and the shrine melt into lava.) Now you will never again see the light of day!
ALADDIN: Whoa!
Lincoln Loud: Let's get out of here guys!
Ronnie Anne Santiago: We're right behind you Lame-O!
(ALADDIN races down the steps, but they flatten into a ramp, and he skies down until he flies into the air. The water has turned into lava. He is falling toward it, when all of a sudden LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, ROSETTA, FAWN, VIDIA, SILVERMIST, IRIDESSA AND CARPET appears and catches him. ABU is standing on one of the rocks of the bridge. He looks left and right and sees rocks exploding into lava. Then CARPET races over and ALADDIN grabs him, just as the last rock is exploding.)
ABU: Help, help, help!
ALADDIN: Gotcha! Whoa, Carpet, let’s move!
LINCOLN LOUD: Look out!
(Together, they race back through the caves dodging walls and falling debris. ABU grabs ALADDIN’s head and covers his eyes.)
ALADDIN: Thanks Lincoln! Abu! Abu, this is no time to panic! (He pulls ABU off his head and sees they are flying into a wall.) Start panicking!
[Abu panting] [thunder cracks] [roaring]
(CARPET goes into a dive, then through another cave. Finally, they emerge through the internal entrance. Outside, the cave begins to growl and close. CARPET and company are almost to the top when a boulder drops on carpet, with a clip of THX Optimizer, sending it to the floor. ALADDIN grabs onto the rock wall and holds on. He sees the OLD MAN at the top, within reach.)
LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, VIDIA, ROSETTA, SILVERMIST, IRIDESSA AND FAWN: Carpet!!!!!
ALADDIN: Help me out!
OLD MAN: Throw me the lamp!
ALADDIN: I can’t hold on. Give me your hand!
OLD MAN: First give me the lamp!
(ALADDIN reaches in and pulls out the MAGIC LAMP. He hands it up, and the OLD MAN raises it above his head.)
OLD MAN: [laughing] Yes! At last! [puts the lamp in]
[Aladdin struggles]
(ALADDIN has climbed out with the assistance of ABU. But the OLD MAN kicks aside ABU and grabs ALADDIN’s wrist.)
ALADDIN: What are you doing?
OLD MAN: Giving you your reward! (JAFAR returns to his normal voice.) Your eternal reward. [screaming]
(He pulls out a crooked dagger and is about to stab ALADDIN, when ABU bites him on the wrist. He screams, but lets go of ALADDIN, who falls into the cave. OLD MAN throws ABU into the cave as well. The clip ends from THX Optimizer, falling down.)
LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SILVERMIST, TINKERBELL, ROSETTA, VIDIA, IRIDESSA, FAWN, SID AND ADELAIDE CHANG: Aladdin!!!!!!
(CARPET sees this, but is pinned under a boulder. It struggles to break free, then does. It races up and catches ALADDIN, but he has already hit the wall several times, and is unconscious. On the surface, the cave roars one final time, then sinks back into the sand. JAFAR pulls off his disguise.) [yelling]
[roaring]
JAFAR: Heh heh heh. It’s mine. It’s all mine! I (He can’t find it in his pocket)--- where is it? No. No!
(Kiss fade to JASMINE’s bedroom. She is sitting on her bed, next to RAJAH who looks sad. The SULTAN walks in.)
SULTAN: Jasmine? Oh, dearest. What’s wrong?
JASMINE: Jafar…has…done something… terrible. (She looks as if she’s been crying.)
SULTAN: There, there, there, my child--we’ll set it right. Now, tell me everything.
Silvermist: Wake up, (Tinkerbell Groans) Tink wake up!
(GROANS)
Tinkerbell: What happened?
Silvermist: The last thing the cave of wonders got trapped us down there.
Adelaide Chang: Fairies! Sid! Ronnie Anne are you guys okay!
Silvermist: We're fine!
Sid Chang: Oh right! Now I remember!
(FAWN GROANING)
Tinkerbell: Is everyone all right?
Fawn: I guess so.
Rosetta: (GASPS) I'm not. Look at my outfit!
Orange is not my color.
Silvermist: She's right.
(Cut to int. of cave. ALADDIN lies unconscious on the CARPET. ABU tries to wake him.)
ABU: Oh, oh. Aladdin? Wake up. Aladdin.
(CARPET rises up, lifting ALADDIN up. He awakes slowly.)
ALADDIN: Oh, my head. (He looks at the entrance sealed in.)
Lincoln Loud: Potty...sandbox...lion tamer...lasagne..."
Adelaide Chang: [slaps him] Lincoln! Snap out of it! You're babbling!
Vidia: Are you okay?
Lincoln Loud: [sighs] We hope so guys, but it's useless. We're trapped Aladdin!
ALADDIN: Yes guys! We’re trapped. (Angry, shaking his fists at the entrance) That two faced son-of-a-jackal! (Calmer) Whoever he was, he’s long gone with that lamp.
(ADELAIDE CHANG CRYING)
Ronnie Anne Santiago: Don't cry Adelaide! I think Abu got that lamp!
Adelaide Chang: Really how?
ABU: Aha!
(ABU pulls out the MAGIC LAMP.)
ALADDIN: Heh! Why, you hairy little thief!
Lincoln Loud: Aladdin do you think that magic lamp work before you rub it.
ALADDIN: That's right kids! Looks like such a beat-up, worthless piece of junk. Hey, I think there’s something written here, but it’s hard to make out.
(He rubs the LAMP. Suddenly smoke comes out of the hole, the LAMP begins to shake and glow, but ALADDIN holds onto the LAMP, and our wonderful friend, the GENIE comes out.)
GENIE: Aaaaahhhhh! OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck! (He hangs ALADDIN on a nearby rock. Then he pulls his head off and spins it around, yelling as he does so. CARPET pulls a ALADDIN down.) Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there! (GENIE uses the lamp end of himself as a microphone.) Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi, where ya from? (Sticks the mic in ALADDIN’s face.) What’s your name?
ALADDIN: Uh, Al--uh--Aladdin.
GENIE: (Says his name as if he’s discovered something major) Aladdin! (A neon sign lights up with ALADDIN’s name on it, circled by chase lights. The sign changes to reflect the GENIE’s upcoming line.) Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you ‘Al?’ Or maybe just ‘Din?’ Or how bout ‘Laddi?’ (GENIE disappears, then a dog wrapped in plaid jumps in.) Sounds like ‘Here, boy! C’mon, Laddi!’
ALADDIN: (Shaking his head) I must have hit my head harder than I thought.
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: I'm Ronnie Anne Santiago and this is my friends Lincoln Loud, Sid and her sister Adelaide Chang.
GENIE: (Still a dog) Well how do you do kids!
SID CHANG: Nice to meet you!
Tinkerbell: I'm Tinkerbell!
Rosetta: Hello It is nice to meet you I am Rosetta This is...
Vidia: Ro, He's magical genie. He's not a ghost!
Rosetta: Oh, right. I know, I know. I'm just so excited!
GENIE: (Still a dog) Do you smoke? Mind if I do? (Dog poofs into smoke, then back to the GENIE. ABU screeches wildly.) Oh, sorry Cheetah--hope I didn’t singe the fur! Yo, Rugman! Haven’t seen you in a few millennia! Slap me some tassel! Yo! Yeah! (CARPET flies over and high fives the GENIE. GENIE looks at ALADDIN.) Say, you’re a lot smaller than my last master. (Lifts his beer-gut.) Either that or I’m gettin’ bigger. Look at me from the side--do I look different to you?
ALADDIN: Wait a minute! I’m--your master?
GENIE: (Slaps a diploma in ALADDIN’s hand and a mortarboard on his head.) That’s right! He can be taught!! What would you wish of me, (as Arnold Schwarzenegger) the ever impressive, (inside a cube) the long contained, (as a ventriloquist with a dummy) often imitated, (tosses the dummy aside) but never duplicated-- (He multiplies into multiple GENIES who surround him.) DUP.
GENIES: Duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated.
GENIE: (Says it like a ring announcer at a boxing match.) Genie Of The Lamp! (Goes into Ed Sullivan) Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment. Thank you!
ALADDIN: Whoa! Wish fulfillment?
GENIE: Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes. (Turns into a slot machine, arm pulls down and three GENIEs appear in the windows.) That’s it--three. (Three GENIE caballeros come out of the slot.) Uno, dos, tres. (Changes into b/w Groucho Marx.) No substitutions, exchanges or refunds. (The duck drops with the secret word "Refunds.’
ALADDIN: (To ABU) Now I know I’m dreaming.
: Genie: Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate whilst I illuminate the possibilities.
: [Genie]
:: Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves
:: Scheherazadie had a thousand tales
:: But master you in luck ‘cause up your sleeve
:: You got a brand of magic never fails!
(GENIE produces 40 thieves who surround ALADDIN with swords. GENIE appears in his vest, then sticks his arms out and boxes the thieves into submission.)
: [Genie]
:: You got some power in your corner now
:: Some heavy ammunition in your camp
:: You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how
:: See all you gotta do is rub that lamp
:: And I’ll say
(Boxing ring appears, ALADDIN in the corner, being massaged by GENIE. Then GENIE turns into a pile of fireworks and explodes and fire at one of our heroes. Then GENIE appears inside lamp and grabs ALADDIN’s hand and rubs lamp with it.)
: [Genie]
:: Mister Aladdin sir
:: What will your pleasure be?
:: Let me take your order, jot it down
:: You ain’t never had a friend like me
:: No no no!
(GENIE produces a table and chairs, then writes down things on a note pad, like a waiter. )
: [Genie]
:: Life is your restaurant And I’m your maitre’ d!
:: C’mon whisper what it is you want
:: You ain’t never had a friend like me.
(GENIE appears as a plate of chicken, then returns to normal, but enlarges his ear to listen to ALADDIN. Finally, he explodes into four duplicate GENIEs.)
: [Genie]
:: Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
:: You’re the boss, the king, the shah!
:: Say what you wish, it’s yours!
:: True dish How about a little more Baklava?
(The GENIEs give him a shave, haircut and manicure, then ALADDIN appears in a comfy chair (eh?) surrounded by the treasure and being fanned by women. The GENIE appears and fills the screen with baklava.)
: [Genie]
:: Try some of column ‘A’
:: Try all of column ‘B’
:: I’m in the mood to help you dude
:: You ain’t never had a friend like me
(ALADDIN rises up on a column of food with a giant A on top, then jumps to another column with a B on top. He falls off and is caught by a cushion held by GENIE. He opens his mouth, and his tongue turns into a staircase. A miniature GENIE dressed like a magician comes out. The mini GENIE does a little dance with the GENIE’s two giant hands. At the end, they surround the mini GENIE and squish him into nothing.)
: [Genie]
:: Can your friends do this?
:: Do your friends do that?
:: Do your friends pull this out their little hat
:: Can your friends go poof!
:: Well looky here
:: Can your friends go Abracadabra, let ‘er rip
:: And then make the sucker disappear?
(The GENIE pulls off his head, duplicates it, then juggles them. He tosses them to ALADDIN, who juggles with one hand and spins one of the heads on his fingertip like a basketball. He tosses the heads back onto the GENIE, who proceeds to try and pull himself out of a hat at his base. He spirals around and around until he turns into a white rabbit. The rabbit transforms into a purple dragon (very reminiscent of Figment from EPCOT Center). The dragon breathes fire, which turns into three HAREM GIRLS, who dance around ALADDIN. Just as he begins to enjoy them, they disappear.)
: [Genie]
:: So don’t you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed
:: I’m here to answer all your midday prayers
:: You got me bona fide, certified
:: You got a genie for a charg? d’affairs!
:: I got a powerful urge to help you out
:: So what you wish I really want to know
:: You got a wish that’s three miles long, no doubt
:: So all you gotta do is rub like so, and oh!
(GENIE imitates what he is calling ALADDIN, then turns into a certificate which rolls up and surrounds ALADDIN. GENIE pulls a list {written in Arabic} out of ALADDIN’s ear, which he uses to rub his behind like drying off after a shower.)
: [Genie]
:: Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
:: I’m on the job, you big nabob
:: You ain’t never had a friend, never had a friend
:: You ain’t never had a friend, never had a friend
:: You ain’t never…had a… friend… like…me!
:: You ain’t never had a friend like me!
(The dancing HAREM GIRLS reappear, and ALADDIN leans in to kiss one. She turns into the GENIE, who zaps four dancing elephants into existence. To the other direction, he zaps in four dancing camels, and a grand finale dancing number ensues, as well our Heroes dancing along as well. ABU grabs as much gold as he can, but the GENIE wraps everything up in a cyclone and zaps it away until they’re all back in the cave. GENIE has a neon "APPLAUSE" sign on his back. ABU turns his hat over and sees that is is empty.)
Lincoln Loud: That was some dancing guys!
Tinkerbell: I know kids!
Ronnie Anne Santiago: You're Awesome!
GENIE: So what’ll it be, master?
ALADDIN: You’re gonna grant me any three wishes I want?
GENIE: (As William F. Buckley) Ah, almost. There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos
ALADDIN: Like?
GENIE: Ah, rule number one: I can’t kill anybody. (He slices his head off with his finger.) So don’t ask. Rule two: I can’t make anyone fall in love with anyone else. (Head turns into a big pair of lips which kiss ALADDIN.) You little punim, there. (Lies flat, then gets up and transforms into a zombie.) Rule three: I can’t bring people back from the dead. It’s not a pretty picture, (He grabs ALADDIN and shakes him) I don’t like doing it! (He poofs back to normal.) Other than that, you got it!
SILVERMIST: Well, that's a relief.
ALADDIN: (Looks at ABU as if plotting) Ah, provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? (To ABU) Some all powerful genie--can’t even bring people back from the dead. I don’t know, Abu--he probably can’t even get us out of this cave.
SID CHANG: How are we going to do that Al?
ALADDIN: Looks like we’re gonna have to find a way out of here--
(They start to leave, but a big blue foot stomps down in front of them.)
GENIE: Excuse me? Are you lookin’ at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you guys wake me up, did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you’re walkin’ out on me? (Gets madder and madder) I don’t think so, not right now. You’re getting your wishes, so sit down! (They all get on CARPET. GENIE takes the form of a stewardess, with lots of arms pointing out the exits.) In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here,here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet. Weeee’rrrrrreee…outta here..
(The CARPET and passengers fly out of the sand in the desert and off into the distance. Cut to int. of SULTAN’s chamber. JAFAR is there with IAGO, JASMINE and the SULTAN.)
SULTAN: Jafar, this is an outrage. If it weren’t for all your years of loyal service… From now on, you are to discuss sentencing of prisoners with me, before they are beheaded.
JAFAR: I assure you, your highness, it won’t happen again.
SULTAN: Jasmine, Jafar, now let’s put this whole messy business behind us. Please?
JAFAR: My most abject and humblest apologies to you as well, princess. (He takes her hand to kiss it, but she yanks it away.)
JASMINE: At least some good will come of my being forced to marry. When I am queen, I will have the power to get rid of you.
SULTAN: That’s nice. All settled, then. Now, Jasmine, getting back to this suitor business, (he looks and sees Jasmine walking out) Jasmine? Jasmine! (He runs after her.)
JAFAR: If only I had gotten that lamp!
IAGO: (As JASMINE) I will have the power to get rid of you! D’oh! To think--we gotta keep kissing up to that chump, and his chump daughter for the rest of our lives…
JAFAR: No, Iago. Only until she finds a chump husband. Then she’ll have us banished--or beheaded!
BOTH: Eeewww!
IAGO: (Has an idea) Oh! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Jafar? What if you were the chump husband?
JAFAR: (He looks at IAGO in insult) What?
IAGO: Okay, you marry the princess, all right? Then, uh, you become sultan!
JAFAR: Oh! Marry the shrew? I become sultan. The idea has merit!
IAGO: Yes, merit! Yes! And then we drop papa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff! (Dive bombs into the floor) Kersplat!
JAFAR: Iago, I love the way your foul little mind works!
(Both laugh as we cut to an oasis in the desert, where CARPET is coming in for a landing.)
GENIE: (Still as stewardess) Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Don’t stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. (As LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, FAWN, ROSETTA, IRIDESSA, SILVERMIST, VIDIA, ALADDIN and ABU get off down the stairway formed by CARPET) Thank you. Good bye, good bye! Thank you! Good bye! (Back to normal) Well, now. How about that, Mr. doubting mustafa?
ALADDIN: Oh, you sure showed us. Now about my three wishes-
GENIE: Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by ONE, boy!
ALADDIN: Ah, no--I never actually wished to get out of the cave. You did that on your own.
(GENIE thinks for a second, then his jaw drops. He turns into a sheep.)
GENIE: Well, don’t I feel just sheepish? All right, you baaaaad boy, but no more freebies.
Tinkerbell: Kids, you guys remember that island into a comic book with Miss Eglantine Price, Mr. Browne and their friends Carrie, Charlie and Paul are join us with our friends Wendy, John, Michael Darling and Lizzy Griffiths.
Lincoln Loud: I can't believe we remember that!
Sid Chang: Cool. You can say that again!
Adelaide Chang: I hope I can fly soon.
Silvermist: Don't worry Adelaide, I'm sure you can do karate and flying soon.
Rosetta: You'll be fine!
Fawn: Do you think Adelaide, Sid, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne can fly before it's heavy?
Rosetta: No, it's light!
ALADDIN: Fair deal guys. So, three wishes. I want them to be good. (To GENIE) What would you wish for?
(GENIE is hanging like a hammock between two trees.)
GENIE: Me? No one’s ever asked me that before. Well, in my case, ah, forget it.
ALADDIN: What? No, tell me.
GENIE: Freedom.
ALADDIN: You’re a prisoner?
GENIE: It’s all part-and-parcel, the whole genie gig. (Grows gigantic, voice echoes) Phenomenal cosmic powers! (Shrinks down, cramped in MAGIC LAMP.) Itty bitty living space.
ALADDIN: Genie, that’s terrible.
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Um... How would you know that?
GENIE: (Comes out of the LAMP) But, oh--to be free. Not have to go "Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need?" To be my own master, such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world! But what am I talking about, here? Let’s get real here. It’s not gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus
ALADDIN: Why not?
GENIE: The only way I get outta this is if my master wishes me out. So you can guess how often that’s happened.
ALADDIN: I’ll do it. I’ll set you free.
GENIE: (Head turns into Pinocchio’s with a long nose) Uh huh, right. Whoop!
ALADDIN: No, really, I promise. (He pushes the nose back in and GENIE’s head returns to normal.) After make my first two wishes, I’ll use my third wish to set you free. (He holds out his hand)
GENIE: Well, here’s hopin’. (Shakes ALADDIN’s hand.) All right. Let’s make some magic. (Turns into a magician.) So how ‘bout it. What is it you want most?
ALADDIN: Well, there’s this girl.
GENIE: Eehhh! (Like a buzzer, and GENIE’s chest shows a heart with a cross through it.) Wrong. I can’t make anybody fall in love, remember?
ALADDIN: Oh, but, Genie, she’s smart and fun and…
GENIE: Pretty?
ALADDIN: Beautiful. She’s got these eyes that just… and this hair. Wow. And her smile… [sighs]
VIDIA: And here we go!
GENIE: (Sitting in a Parisian cafe with ABU and CARPET.) Ami. C’est l’amour.
ALADDIN: But she’s the princess. To even have a chance, I’d have to be… Hey, can you make me a prince?
GENIE: Let’s see here. (Has a "Royal Cookbook".) Chicken à la king? (Pulls out a chicken with a crown on its head)
LINCOLN LOUD: What?
GENIE: Nope. Alaskan king crab. (Yanks out his finger, and we see SEBASTIAN the crab from "The Little Mermaid" clamped on.) Ow. I hate it when they do that.
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: That's our friend Sebastian the crab in Caribbean Jamboree.
LINCOLN LOUD: And Party Gras too.
TINKERBELL: What does he eat?
FAWN: Not fairies!
SILVERMIST: Well that's a relief!
GENIE: Caesar’s salad? Ah! (A dagger comes out and tries to stab him.) Et tu, Brute? No. Aha. "To make a prince." (Looks slyly at ALADDIN.) Is that an official wish? Say the words.
ALADDIN: Genie, I wish for you to make me a prince!
GENIE: All right! Woof woof woof woof! (Takes on square shoulders and looks like Arsenio Hall. Then becomes a tailor/fashion designer.) First, that fez and vest combo is much too third century. These patches--what are we trying to say--beggar? No! Let’s work with me here. (He takes ALADDIN’s measurements, snaps his fingers and ALADDIN is outfitted in his prince costume.) I like it, muy macho! Now, still needs something. What does it say to me? It says mode of transportation. Excuse me, monkey boy! Aqui, over here!
(ABU tries to cover himself with CARPET, but GENIE zaps him and he flies over.)
ABU: Uh oh!
GENIE: Here he comes, (ALADDIN and GENIE are on a game show set, where ALADDIN stands behind a podium with "AL" on it.) And what better way to make your grand entrance on the streets of Agrabah, than riding your very own brand new camel! Watch out, it spits! (A door bearing the GENIE’s head on it opens, where ABU is transformed into a camel. He spits out the side of his mouth on cue. But the GENIE’s not sure.)
LINCOLN LOUD: I don't think this is a camel ride.
GENIE: Mmm, not enough. (He snaps his fingers and ABU turns into a fancy white horse.)
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Nope!
GENIE: Still not enough. Let’s see. What do you need? (The GENIE snaps his fingers repeatedly, turning ABU into: a duck, an ostrich, a turtle, and a ‘57 Cadillac, with license plate "ABU 1." (That one’s a guess, I don’t know cars, but judging by the tail fins, ‘nuff said.) Finally, he’s returned to normal.) Yes!! Esalalumbo, shimin dumbo! Whoa!! (And on the keyword of the spell, Dumbo, ABU turns into an elephant. CARPET struggles to get out from under ABU’s size 46 feet.)
SID CHANG: Now that's Abu turns into an elephant.
GENIE: Talk about your trunk space, check this action out!
(ABU sees his reflection in a pool of water, then jumps into a tree. The tree naturally bends right back down to the ground, where ABU hangs on and looks at ALADDIN upside down.)
ALADDIN: Abu, you look good.
ADELAIDE CHANG: I know we can fly like a butterfly right fairies!
TINKERBELL: Great!
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: So you guys got a cheer leading uniforms fairies?
ROSETTA: Yeah!
GENIE: He’s got the outfit, he’s got the elephant, but we’re not through yet. Hang on to your turban, kid, cause we’re gonna make you a star!
(We zoom out slowly with the oasis in the distance, as fireworks begin to explode outward. Cut to a CU of a pile of toys. (Look for the BEAST here.) We tilt up and see the SULTAN balancing them. He carefully balances the last piece on top, then sits back and sighs. JAFAR storms in, though, and the pile collapses.)
JAFAR: Sire, I have found a solution to the problem with your daughter.
IAGO: Awk! The problem with your daughter!
SULTAN: Oh, really?
JAFAR: (Unrolling a scroll) Right here. "If the princess has not chosen a husband by the appointed time, then the sultan shall choose for her."
SULTAN: But Jasmine hated all those suitors! (He tries to stuff a cracker into IAGO’s mouth. IAGO backs away. The SULTAN absentmindedly pulls the cracker back.) How could I choose someone she hates? (IAGO is relieved, but the SULTAN quickly stuffs a cracker in his mouth.)
JAFAR: Not to worry, my liege. There is more. If, in the event a suitable prince cannot be found, a princess must then be wed to…hmm…interesting.
SULTAN: What? Who?
JAFAR: The royal vizier! Why, that would be…me!
SULTAN: Why, I thought the law says that only a prince can marry a princess, I’m quite sure.
JAFAR: Desperate times call for desperate measures, my lord. (He pulls out the staff and hypnotizes the SULTAN with it.)
SULTAN: Yes…desperate measures…
JAFAR: You will order the princess to marry me.
SULTAN: I… will order…the princess… to… (the spell breaks momentarily)…but you’re so old!
JAFAR: (Holds the staff closer) The princess will marry me!
SULTAN: The princess will marry…(the spell is again broken, this time by the trumpet fanfare of "Prince Ali".) What? What is that? That music! Ha ha ha. Jafar, you must come and see this!
(We see an advancing parade, led by what appears to be the GENIE in human form as a MAJOR.)
MARCHERS: Make way for Prince Ali!
SWORDSMEN: Say hey! It’s Prince Ali!
MAJOR: Hey, clear the way in the old bazaar, Hey you, let us through, it’s a bright new star, Oh, come, be the first on your block to meet his eye! Make way, here he comes, Ring bells, bang the drums. You’re gonna love this guy
(The MAJOR mingles amongst different crowd members.) Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa! Genuflect, show some respect Down on one knee
(ABU the elephant marches through town, with ALADDIN (ALI) on his back.) Now try your best to stay calm Brush up your Sunday Salaam And come and meet his spectacular coterie.
(IAGO is dancing to the music until JAFAR glares at him. The MAJOR "wheelbarrows" six men up onto ABU’s trunk. They stand on each other’s shoulders as ALI shakes hands.) Prince Ali, mighty is he, Ali Ababwa! Strong as ten regular men, definitely He faced the galloping hordes A hundred bad guys with swords Who sent those goons to their lords, why Prince Ali!
(The pile collapses on ALI, but a GENIE (tm) brand lightning bolt zaps the pile and he ends up holding them all up in an acrobatic wheel formation. The GENIE turns into an old man, then a child and speaks the last two lines to the crowd.)
CHORUS OF MEN: (Carrying the camels) He’s got 75 golden camels!
(In pops a typical parade commentator)
HARRY: Don’t they look lovely, June?
CHORUS OF WOMEN: (On a float) Purple peacocks, he’s got 53!
(In comes another commentator.)
JUNE: Fabulous, Harry. I love the feathers.
GENIE: (GENIE is off screen, a giant balloon ape proceeds down the parade) When it comes to exotic-type mammals Has he got a zoo I’m telling you It’s a world-class menagerie!
(GENIE pops in as a leopard, then a goat, and speaks the last two lines to the two children from earlier. We cut to a balcony, where three HAREM GIRLS are joined by the HAREM GENIE.)
GENIE:
GIRLS: (in counterpoint)
Prince Ali, handsome is he Ali Ababwa There’s no question this Ali’s alluring That physique, how can I speak Never ordinary, never boring Weak at the knee Everything about the man just plain impresses Well, get on out in that square He’s a wonder, he’s a whiz, a wonder Adjust your veil and prepare He’s about to pull my heart asunder To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali! And I absolutely love the way he dresses!
(JASMINE has been watching from the balcony of the palace. She humphs it off, then leaves.)
CHORUS: He’s got 95 white Persian monkeys!
(He’s got the monkeys, let’s see the monkeys!)
And to view them, he charges no fee!
(He’s generous, so generous)
He’s got slaves, he’s got servants and flunkies!
(Proud to work for him)
They bow to his whim, love serving him
They’re just lousy with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!
(ALADDIN throws gold coins out to the people, who rush over to collect them. ABU and the parade march up the steps of the palace and inside. The SULTAN runs back inside to the door to the throne room, but JAFAR stands in front of the door. Suddenly, it bursts open, with ABU leading the way, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG are flying like butterflies, TINKERBELL, FAWN, IRIDESSA, SILVERMIST, VIDIA, ROSETTA dances like a cheerleaders with magic pom poms and crushing JAFAR and IAGO behind the door.)
GENIE: Prince Ali, Amorus he! Ali Ababwa!
Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see!
And that, good people, is why
He got dolled up and dropped by
With 60 elephants, llamas galore
With his bears and lions
A brass band and more
With his 40 fakirs, his cooks, his bakers
His birds that warble on key
Make way for Prince Ali!
(More and more fanfare build up until ALADDIN flies off ABU’s back on MAGIC CARPET and flies down to the SULTAN. JAFAR slams the door shut.)
SULTAN: (Clapping) Splendid, absolutely marvelous.
ALADDIN: (Takes on a deeper voice.) Ahem. Your majesty, I have journeyed from afar to seek your daughter’s hand.
SULTAN: Prince Ali Ababwa! Of course. I’m delighted to meet you. (He rushes over and shakes ALI’s hand.) This is my royal vizier, Jafar. He’s delighted too.
JAFAR: (Extremely dryly) Ecstatic. I’m afraid, Prince Abooboo--
ALADDIN: --Ababwa!
JAFAR: Whatever. You and your kids and your fairy friends cannot just parade in here uninvited and expect to--
SULTAN: …by Allah, this is quite a remarkable device. (He tugs at the tassels, and they tug his moustache.) I don’t suppose I might…
ALADDIN: Why certainly, your majesty. Allow me.
JAFAR: Sire, I must advise against this--
SULTAN: --Oh, button up, Jafar. Learn to have a little fun.
(He kicks away the staff and CARPET and SULTAN fly away. IAGO, who was standing on the head of the staff, falls down, repeatedly bopping the staff with his beak as he descends. SULTAN and CARPET fly high into the ceiling, then begin a dive-bomb attack, flying under ABU, scaring him. The flight continues in the background, while JAFAR and ALI talk in the foreground.)
LINCOLN LOUD: That's wild!
JAFAR: Just where did you say you were from?
ALADDIN: Oh, much farther than you’ve traveled, I’m sure. (He smiles. JAFAR does not.)
JAFAR: Try me. (IAGO lands on the staff.)
SULTAN: Look out, Polly!
(They all duck in time as the CARPET whizzes centimetres over their heads. CARPET returns and the SULTAN chases IAGO around the room.)
IAGO: Hey, watch it. Watch it with the dumb rug!
(The CARPET zooms underneath IAGO, who sighs, wipes his brow, and crashes into a pillar. He crashes to the floor, and his head is circled by miniature SULTANS on CARPETS, saying "Have a cracker, have a cracker. The real SULTAN begins his final approach.)
SULTAN: Out of the way, I’m coming in to land. Jafar, watch this! (He lands.)
JAFAR: Spectacular, your highness.
SULTAN: Ooh, lovely. Yes, I do seem to have a knack for it. (CARPET walks over to ABU dizzily, then collapses. ABU catches it.) This is a very impressive youth. And a prince as well. (Whispers to JAFAR) If we’re lucky, you won’t have to marry Jasmine after all.
JAFAR: I don’t trust him, sire.
SULTAN: Nonsense. One thing I pride myself on Jafar, I’m an excellent judge of character.
IAGO: Oh, excellent judge, yeah, sure…not!!!
(JASMINE walks in quietly.)
SULTAN: Jasmine will like this one!
ALADDIN: And I’m pretty sure I’ll like Princess Jasmine!
JAFAR: Your highness, no. I must intercede on Jasmine’s behalf. (JASMINE hears this and gets mad.) This boy is no different than the others. What makes him think he is worthy of the princess?
ALADDIN: Your majesty, I am Prince Ali Ababwa! (He pricks JAFAR’s goatee, which springs out in all directions.) Just let her meet me. I will win your daughter!
JASMINE: How dare you! (They all look at her surprised.) All of you, standing around deciding my future? I am not a prize to be won! (She storms out.)
TINKER BELL: What is gotten into the Princess?
ROSETTA: Oh for goodness sake!
SULTAN: Oh, dear. Don’t worry, Prince Ali. Just give Jasmine time to cool down. (They exit.)
JAFAR: I think it’s time to say good bye to Prince Abooboo and their friends.
(Diss to JASMINE on her balcony at night. We tilt down and find ALADDIN and company in the courtyard.)
ALADDIN: What am I going to do? Jasmine won’t even let me talk to her. I should have known I couldn’t pull off this stupid prince wish. (ABU struggles with his elephant paws to open a banana. He squishes it, and the banana squirts into his eye. He then tosses the banana peel into a heaping pile of the same.)
(ADELAIDE CHANG can fly with wings to flap)
ADELAIDE CHANG: Am I doing this right to fly Lincoln!
LINCOLN LOUD: You're doing good, Adelaide!
(FAWN took a deep breath and moved aside)
FAWN: Kids! Say hello to Gruff.
(The NeverBeast was hanging upside down in the tree behind Fawn. He dropped down from the tree branch)
IRIDESSA: (WHIMPERS) Oh, no.
Silvermist: Hi, Gruff.
SID CHANG: Cool! Gruff has a good name.
ROSETTA: Sid, Adelaide what is that?
ADELAIDE CHANG: Oh that's Gruff the Neverbeast. Mom brought him home from zoo while his habitat has been renovated.
GENIE: (to carpet, playing chess) So move! (CARPET does, knocking a black piece off the board.) Hey. That’s a good move. (As Rodney Dangerfield) I can’t believe it--I’m losing to a rug.
ALADDIN: Genie, I need help.
GENIE: (as Jack Nicholson) All right, sparky, here’s the deal. You wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter, do ya follow me?
ALADDIN: What?
GENIE: (Back to normal, wearing a mortarboard. He points out his words on a blackboard) Tell her the…TRUTH!!!
ALADDIN: No way! If Jasmine found out I was really some crummy street rat with Lincoln and his friends, she’d laugh at me. (He puts on his turban, which lights up as the GENIE.)
GENIE: A woman appreciates a man who can make her laugh! (ALADDIN pulls the chain turning off the light. GENIE comes out holding the real turban.) Al, all joking aside, you really oughtta be yourself.
ALADDIN: Hey, that’s the last thing I want to be.
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: How would you know that?
ALADDIN: Okay, I’m gonna go see her. I gotta be smooth, cool, confident. How do I look?
GENIE: (Sadly) Like a prince.
LINCOLN LOUD: Right!
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Awesome!
(Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne, Sid, Adelaide and the girls cheered him on)
TINKER BELL: Good luck!
SILVERMIST: Be brave!
ROSETTA: You can do it, sugar!
(The girls watched Aladdin as he entered Jasmine's chambers)
Vidia: He's doomed.
(ALADDIN flies up to the balcony on CARPET. JASMINE is on her bed, sighing. RAJAH is by her side.)
ALADDIN: (From a distance) Princess Jasmine?
(RAJAH looks up and growls.)
JASMINE: Who’s there?
ALADDIN: It’s me--Prince Ali. Ahem--(Then he jumps to his deep voice) Prince Ali Ababwa.
JASMINE: I do not want to see you.
ALADDIN: No, no, please princess. Give me a chance.
(RAJAH growls and advances on him.)
JASMINE: Just leave me alone.
ALADDIN: Down kitty!
(Over the edge of the balcony, CARPET is watching with GENIE below.)
GENIE: So how’s our little beau doing?
(CARPET cuts his neck with his finger.)
ALADDIN: C'mon, good kitty, take off and go. Down kitty. (He takes off his turban to brush RAJAH away.)
JASMINE: (She looks at him thinking she has seen him before.) Wait, wait. Do I know you?
ALADDIN: (Quickly replaces his turban) Uh, no, no.
JASMINE: You remind me of someone I met in the marketplace.
ALADDIN: The marketplace? (A bee buzzes around his head.) I have servants that go to the marketplace for me. Why I even have servants who go to the marketplace for my servants, so it couldn’t have been me you met.
JASMINE: (She looks disappointed.) No, I guess not.
BEE: (It’s the GENIE) Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her! She’s smart, fun, the hair, the eyes. Anything--pick a feature!
ALADDIN: Um, Princess Jasmine? You’re very…
BEE: Wonderful, glorious, magnificent, punctual!
ALADDIN: Punctual!
JASMINE: Punctual?
BEE: Sorry.
ALADDIN: Beautiful.
BEE: Nice recovery.
JASMINE: Hmm. I’m rich too, you know.
ALADDIN: Yeah!
JASMINE: The daughter of a sultan.
ALADDIN: I know.
JASMINE: A fine prize for any prince to marry.
ALADDIN: Uh, right. Right. A prince like me.
BEE: (Buzzing in his ear) Warning! Warning!
JASMINE: Right, a prince like you. And every other stuffed shirt, swaggering, peacock I’ve met!
BEE: (Rear end on fire, wearing goggles and crashing) Mayday! Mayday!
JASMINE: Just go jump off a balcony! (She turns and walks away)
ALADDIN: What?
BEE: Stop her! Stop her! Do you want me to sting her?
ALADDIN: (Swats at bee) Buzz off!
BEE: Okay, fine. But remember--bee yourself! (BEE buzzes into his turban)
ALADDIN: Yeah, right!
JASMINE: What!?
ALADDIN: Uh, you’re right. You aren’t just some prize to be won, (He looks disappointed.) You should be free to make your own choice. (JASMINE and RAJAH look at each other in confusion.) I’ll go now. (He steps up on the ledge and drops off.)
JASMINE: No!
ALADDIN: (Pokes his head up from over the edge) What? What?
JASMINE: (Now she’s amazed) How--how are you doing that? (She looks over the edge and sees the CARPET.)
ALADDIN: It’s a magic carpet.
JASMINE: It’s lovely. (CARPET takes JASMINE’s hand with a tassel.)
ALADDIN: You, uh, you don’t want to go for a ride, do you? We could get out of the palace, see the world.
JASMINE: Is it safe?
ALADDIN: Sure. Do you trust me?
JASMINE: (She looks at him at the saying of that all-important line) What?
ALADDIN: (Extends his hand the same as before) Do you trust me?
JASMINE: (Gets a sly grin on her face) Yes.
ROSETTA: Look at them go.
SILVERMIST: That's very impressed.
(She takes his hand and gets up on CARPET. It zooms into the sky, knocking them both into sitting positions. The music of "A Whole New World" swells. JASMINE looks back and sees RAJAH looking up at her questioningly. She gasps as they fly over the palace wall and into the sky.)
ALADDIN: I can show you the world Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me princess, now when did you last Let your heart decide?
(CARPET zooms down through the town, stopping slightly to pick a flower. It gives the flower to ALADDIN, who gives it to JASMINE. She smiles.) I can open your eyes Take you wonder by wonder Over, sideways, and under On a magic carpet ride
(CARPET does as ALADDIN sings, then zooms into the clouds.) A whole new world! A new fantastic point of view No one to tell us no Or where to go Or say we’re only dreaming
(JASMINE looks back and watches Agrabah disappear from sight. CARPET flies in and out of the clouds.)
JASMINE: A whole new world A dazzling place I never knew But when I’m way up here It’s crystal clear That now I’m in a whole new world with you!
ALADDIN: Now I’m in a whole new world with you!
(They each catch a small cloud as CARPET continues the flight. It then circles a pillar of clouds, giving a swirly look to it.)
JASMINE: Unbelievable sights Indescribable feeling Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling Through an endless diamond sky
(They join a flock of birds in the sky. One of them looks terrified and squawks. CARPET does somersaults and flips, at times putting ALADDIN and JASMINE in free-fall, but catching them. They then zoom above the clouds where a starry night awaits them.)
JASMINE: A whole new world!
ALADDIN: Don’t you dare close your eyes
JASMINE: An hundred thousand things to see
ALADDIN: Hold your breath--it gets better!
JASMINE: I’m like a shooting star, I’ve come so far I can’t go back to where I used to be!
(They zoom down over a river, apparently the Nile, for beyond the ship’s sails are the Great Pyramids. They wave at a worker sculpting the complete nose of the Sphinx. He smiles, but chisels too much and breaks off the front section of the nose.)
ALADDIN: A whole new world!
JASMINE: Every turn a surprise
ALADDIN: With new horizons to pursue
JASMINE: Every moment, red-letter
(They fly alongside wild horses running. JASMINE pets one of them.)
BOTH: I’ll chase them anywhere There’s time to spare Let me share this whole new world with you A whole new world That’s where we’ll be
(They fly through Greece, where ALADDIN grabs an apple from a tree and rolls it down his arm to JASMINE, who is now sure she is dealing with ALADDIN, not PRINCE ALI.)
ALADDIN: A thrilling chase
JASMINE: A wondrous place
BOTH: For you and me!
(CARPET hovers along over a lake, and we see the reflection of the moon in the lake. Fireworks burst and we see the couple at a Chinese New Year celebration, sitting on a rooftop.)
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Uh, Lincoln!
LINCOLN LOUD: Huh! Oh sorry. Daydreaming about love!
TINKERBELL: It's okay!
JASMINE: It’s all so magical.
ALADDIN: Yeah.
JASMINE: (She looks at him and decides to burst the bubble) It’s a shame Abu had to miss this.
ALADDIN: Nah. He hates fireworks. (CARPET looks up realizing what is happening.) He doesn’t really like flying either. (And now ALADDIN realizes it) That is…oh no!
JASMINE: (She pulls off his turban) You are the boy from the market with Lincoln Loud and his friends! I knew it. Why did you lie to me?
ALADDIN: Jasmine, I’m sorry.
JASMINE: Did you think I was stupid?
ALADDIN: No!
JASMINE: That I wouldn’t figure it out?
ALADDIN: No. I mean, I hoped you wouldn’t. No, that’s not what I meant.
JASMINE: Who are you? Tell me the truth!
ALADDIN: The truth? (He looks at CARPET who wave him on, giving up hope.) This is Tinkerbell and her friends from Pixie Hollow of Neverland.
JASMINE: Are you a talking fairies?
TINKERBELL: Yes! Because I'm a Tinker! It's who I am and tinkers fix things.
SILVERMIST: She's right Jasmine! Aladdin was telling you the truth!
ALADDIN: The truth…the truth is…I sometimes dress as a commoner to escape the pressures of palace life. (CARPET slumps down in defeat.) But I really am a prince! (The feather on his turban falls down over his eyes.)
JASMINE: Why didn’t you just tell me?
ALADDIN: Well, you know, um…royalty going out into the city in disguise, it sounds a little strange, don’t you think?
JASMINE: Not that strange.
(She flicks up the feather and cuddles with him. CARPET puts a tassel under his "chin" and looks mystified. Dissolve to ext. of palace balcony, where ALADDIN and JASMINE return. CARPET forms a set of steps and she descends. ALADDIN then descends just below the balcony.)
JASMINE: Good night, my handsome prince.
ALADDIN: Sleep well, princess.
(They slowly lean forward to kiss, but CARPET bumps him up and they kiss sooner than expected. She walks away slowly then turns and looks at him. Finally she enters her room through the curtain.)
SID CHANG: Hey Aladdin!
ADELAIDE CHANG: You're falling in love with Princess Jasmine!
ALADDIN: Yes! (He falls back onto the CARPET, who descends to the ground.) (Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago, Sid and Adelaide, Tinkerbell, Fawn, Vidia, Rosetta, Iridessa, Silvermist cheers) For the first time in my life, things are starting to go right.
(He looks up at JASMINE’s balcony, and four sets of hands grab him.)
ALADDIN: Kids run!!! (Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago, Sid, Adelaide Chang, Tinkerbell and her friends runs) Hey! What? (A gag is tied around his mouth. Muffled words) Abu! Abu! (We see the elephant hanging from a net tied in a tree.)
GUARD: Hold him!
(Shackles are placed on his feet and his hands. Another GUARD ties CARPET in a knot around a tree.)
JAFAR: I’m afraid you’ve worn out your welcome, Prince Abooboo. (Walks away.) Make sure he’s never found.
(A GUARD hits him in the head, and he falls unconscious. Cut to a cliff, where GUARDS laugh as ALADDIN’s body drops into the water. He is conscious now, but his feet are tied to a rock. The rock hits the sea bottom, then the turban lands and the lamp tumbles out. He sees this and struggles to rub the lamp. However, he loses consciousness and falls to the floor. The lamp, unsettled by his movement, rolls down and rubs against his hands. It shakes, and GENIE emerges with a bath brush, rubber duckie, and shower cap)
GENIE: Never fails. Get in the bath and there’s a rub at the lamp. (Squeaks the duck) Hello. (Sees unconscious ALADDIN) Al? Al! Kid, snap out of it! You can’t cheat on this one! I can’t help you unless you make a wish. You have to say "Genie I want you to save my life." Got it? Okay. C’mon Aladdin!! (He grabs ALADDIN by the shoulders and shakes him. His head goes up, then falls.) I’ll take that as a yes. (Head turns into a siren.) Wooga! Wooga! (Turns into a submarine.) Up scope! (He babbles in something that sounds like German. On the surface, a giant water spout emerges, and lands on top of the cliff. ALADDIN reawakes and coughs the water out of his lungs.) Don’t you scare me like that!
ALADDIN: Genie, I--uh, I-uh…(He can’t think of how to say it, so they just hug each other.) Thanks, Genie.
GENIE: Oh, Al. I’m gettin’ kind of fond of you, kid. Not that I want to pick out curtains or anything.
(Cut to JASMINE in her room, humming "A Whole New World" and brushing her hair. The SULTAN appears in one of the double doors, hypnotized.)
SULTAN: Jasmine!
JASMINE: Oh, father--I just had the most wonderful time. I’m so happy.
SULTAN: (Still monotone from the hypnosis) You should be, Jasmine. I have chosen a husband for you.
JASMINE: What?
SULTAN: (The other door opens and reveals JAFAR.) You will wed Jafar.
(JASMINE gasps at the sight of him.)
JAFAR: You’re speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.
JASMINE: I will never marry you. (She goes to the SULTAN) Father, I choose Prince Ali!
JAFAR: Prince Ali left!
(A quick pan finds ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, FAWN, SILVERMIST, IRIDESSA, VIDIA AND ROSETTA standing in the doorway to the balcony.)
ALADDIN: Better check your crystal ball again, Jafar!
SILVERMIST: He's right Jafar! This is all gone too far!
LINCOLN LOUD: We're not dumb.
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Just drop it Jafar!
JASMINE: Prince Ali! Fairies! Kids!
(JAFAR gasps at the sight of ALADDIN.)
IAGO: How in the he--(back to parrot-ese)--uh, awk!
ALADDIN: Tell them the truth, Jafar. You tried to have me killed!
TINKER BELL: He's right Jafar! Why do think so much better than me and our friends?
JAFAR: What? (He goes to the SULTAN) Ridiculous nonsense, Your Highness. He is obviously lying. (He brings the staff close to the SULTAN’s face.)
SULTAN: Obviously…lying.
(ALADDIN sees the staff with its glowing eyes.)
JASMINE: Father, what’s wrong with you?
ALADDIN: I know what's wrong!
(ALADDIN grabs the staff and smashes it on the floor. JAFAR flinches and the spell is broken for good.)
SULTAN: Oh, oh, oh my!
ALADDIN: Your Highness, Jafar’s been controlling you with this! (He advances the staff)
SULTAN: What? Jafar?! You, you traitor!
(The trio advances on JAFAR.)
JAFAR: Your majesty, all of this can be explained.
SULTAN: Guards! Guards!
IAGO: Well, that’s it--we’re dead, forget about it. Just dig a grave for both of us. We’re dead.
(But JAFAR sees the lamp in ALADDIN’s pocket. He makes a move, but is grabbed by guards.)
SULTAN: Arrest Jafar at once.
JAFAR: This is not done yet, boy!
(JAFAR pulls a vial from his pocket. ALADDIN sees this and rushes him, but JAFAR throws the vial to the floor. A large red cloud appears. When it is gone, so is JAFAR.)
SULTAN: Find him! Search everywhere!
ALADDIN: Jasmine, are you all right?
JASMINE: Yes.
(They lean in to kiss, but the SULTAN barges between them.)
SULTAN: Jafar, my most trusted counselor, plotting against me all this time. Just horrible. How will I ever- (He stops in mid sentence and looks at the pair.) Can this be true? My daughter has finally chosen a suitor? (She nods) Ha ha! Praise Allah! You brilliant boy, I could kiss you! I won’t--I’ll leave that to my--. You two will be wed at once! Yes, yes. And you’ll be happy and prosperous, and then my boy, you will be sultan!
ALADDIN: Sultan?
SULTAN: Yes, a fine upstanding youth like yourself, a person of your unimpeachable moral character is exactly what this kingdom needs! (ALADDIN looks concerned at this.)
LINCOLN LOUD: Guys! We know how Sid and Adelaide Chang got their cardboard wings to fly!
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: I know! Put Lori on fairies!
TINKER BELL: Sure, kids!
LORI LOUD: Hey, Ronnie Anne. What's up?
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: This is our friends Tinkerbell and her friends in Pixie Hollow of Neverland!
ROSETTA: Hello it is nice to meet you!
LORI LOUD: Woah. Hi to you guys, too.
TINKERBELL: Our friends and I are in Agrabah Taj Mahal with your brother, Ronnie Anne Santiago and our friends Sid and Adelaide Chang!
SILVERMIST: We would teach The Chang sisters to fly like us!
LORI LOUD: But why? I don't understand.
LINCOLN LOUD: Because we got this cardboard wings to fly!
LORI LOUD: Yeah! You remember your fairies friends teach you guys to fly!
ADELADIE CHANG: Really How?
LORI LOUD: I almost skipped homecoming because I was worried I wouldn't win queen. [Flashback to Lori that day in her room looking sad in front of her mirror, she then looks at her dress.] But... in the end, I sucked it up, put on my dress, and went anyway. [Grabs her dress. End of flashback.] And I'm so glad I did.
ADELAIDE CHANG: [Slightly confused] But, I thought Carol Pingrey won homecoming queen?
LORI LOUD: Oh, she totally did, [Flashback to Carol receiving her crown, and Lori looking on with disappointment.] and it definitely hurt at first. [Just then, her beloved Boo-Boo-Bear offers her his hand.] But, if I hadn't have gone, I would have missed out on an amazing night. [Bobby pulls his beloved Babe onto the dance floor and the two have an amazing night. End of flashback.]
VIDIA: That's a great story Lori!
LORI LOUD: Thanks Vidia! Your sisters got a Welcome Home party for you guys tomorrow!
SID CHANG: Awesome!
LORI LOUD: Exactly!
LINCOLN LOUD: We'll be back home tomorrow before you know it! See you Lori!
LORI LOUD: Goodbye Lincoln!
(Cut to int. of JAFAR’s chambers. JAFAR and IAGO enter.)
IAGO: We gotta get outta here! We gotta get-- I gotta start packing, your highness. Only essentials. (IAGO starts throwing things out of his cage. JAFAR smiles broadly.) Travel light! Bring the guns, the weapons, the knives (Stops and takes out a picture of himself and JAFAR) and how about this picture? I don’t know--I think I’m making a weird face in it. (JAFAR starts to laugh wildly.) Oh, boy--he’s cracked. He’s gone nuts. (IAGO flies down to him and knocks on his head.) Jafar! Jafar! Get a grip! (JAFAR grabs him around the neck) Good grip!
JAFAR: Prince Ali is nothing more than that ragged urchin, Aladdin and his friends Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago, Sid and Adelaide Chang and those Pixie Hollow Heroes! He has the lamp, Iago.
IAGO: Why that miserable--
JAFAR: But you are going to relieve him of it!
IAGO: Me?
(Cut to ext. of palace. ALADDIN is looking at the gardens.)
ALADDIN: Sultan? They want me to be sultan?
(GENIE comes out of lamp)
GENIE: Huzzah! Hail the conquering hero! (Turns into a one-man band. He sees ALADDIN walk away with his head hung. He stops, scratches his head, comes up with an idea, then zooms over to ALADDIN. He holds up his hands like a director scoping a picture and we look through them.) Aladdin, you’ve just won the heart of the princess. What are you gonna do next? (ALADDIN looks at him, then walks away in sadness to the bed, where he falls on it and sighs. GENIE again is confused, then goes to him and pulls out a script labeled "Aladdin." Whispering: ) Psst, your line is, "I’m going to free the genie." Anytime.
ALADDIN: Genie…I can’t.
GENIE: Sure you can. You just go, "Geeeeenie, IIIIIII wiiiiish you free." (He grabs ALADDIN’s head and uses him as a mock ventriloquist’s dummy. ALADDIN pulls away.)
ALADDIN: I’m serious! Look, I’m sorry--I really am. But they want to make me sultan--no! They want to make Prince Ali sultan. Without you, I’m just Aladdin.
GENIE: Al, you won!
ALADDIN: Because of you! The only reason anyone thinks I’m worth anything is because of you! What if they find out I’m not really a prince? (Quietly) What if Jasmine finds out? I’d lose her. Genie, I-I can’t keep this up on my own. I...I can’t wish you free.
GENIE: (Sarcastically) Fine, I understand. After all, you’ve lied to everyone else. Hey, I was beginning to feel left out. Now, if you’ll excuse me, master. (He says the last word in disgust, then poofs back into the lamp.)
(ABU and CARPET are watching from the window.)
ABU: Ohhh.
LINCOLN LOUD: Well I feel terrible!
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Yeah!
ALADDIN: Kids, I’m really sorry.
SID CHANG: Look Genie! He didn't mean it.
(A tongue comes out of the spout and raspberries them.)
ALADDIN: Well, fine! (He covers the LAMP with a pillow.) Then just... stay in there! (He looks at ABU and CARPET.) What are you guys lookin' at? (They both leave.) Look, I... I-I’m sorr--A-Abu, I’m sorry. I didn’t... wait. C’mon!
FAWN: Come on guys! You don't really think any of that stuff is true
(silence)
It's just I know he's not what they say he is.
Tinkerbell: Even if you're right it's not safe for him here.
ALADDIN: (He sighs.) What am I doing? Genie’s right. I... I-I gotta tell Jasmine the truth.
LINCOLN LOUD: I just don't understand why is Genie so mad at us.
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: I don't know. I have a better idea. Maybe you and your sister Adelaide can talk to Jasmine with Aladdin. But be careful!
SID CHANG: Ooh! Reconnaissance on it!
JASMINE: (From a distance) Ali, oh Ali--will you come here?
ALADDIN: (Putting on his turban) Well, here goes. (He walks into the garden.) Jasmine? Where are you?
(We see IAGO wearing a beak and standing on stilts next to a FLAMINGO in the pond. He is imitating JASMINE’s voice.)
IAGO: Ahem--In the menagerie, hurry.
ALADDIN: I’m coming.
(We see ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, FAWN, SILVERMIST, IRIDESSA, ROSETTA and VIDIA hurry past, not noticing the birds. IAGO laughs, then turns back and looks into the face of a FLAMINGO, who is panting.)
FLAMINGO: D’uh!
IAGO: Ya got a problem, pinky? (He sweeps the bird’s feet out from under it. IAGO runs into the palace and finds the lamp under the pillow.) Boy, Jafar’s gonna be happy to see you! (Stretches his face like JAFAR’s and imitates it.) Good work, Iago! (Normal) Ah, go on. (JAFAR) No, really--on a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven! (Normal) Ah, Jafar--you’re too kind. I’m embarrassed, I’m blushing. (He flies away with the lamp.)
(Cut to the palace entrance. The SULTAN is standing on top, making an announcement to the people.)
SULTAN: People of Agrabah, My daughter has finally chosen a suitor!
(Cut to behind the curtain, where JASMINE is peeking. ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, FAWN, IRIDESSA, ROSETTA, VIDIA and SILVERMIST appears at the bottom of the stairs.)
ALADDIN: Jasmine?
JASMINE: Ali, where have you been?
ALADDIN: There’s something I’ve got to tell you.
JASMINE: The whole kingdom has turned out for father’s announcement!
LINCOLN LOUD: Go for it Aladdin!
ALADDIN: No! But Jasmine, listen to me, please!
JASMINE: Good luck! (She pushes him out onto the platform with the SULTAN, where he overlooks the entire crowd.)
SULTAN: …Ali Ababwa!
ALADDIN: Oh, boy!
(Far above, IAGO and JAFAR watch through a window.)
IAGO: Look at them, cheering that little pipsqueak.
JAFAR: Let them cheer. (He lifts the lamp and rubs it. GENIE comes out.)
GENIE: You know Al, I’m getting (turns and sees JAFAR) reallyyyyyy--I don’t think you’re him. (He descends and consults a playbill.) Tonight, the role of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man.
JAFAR: I am your master now. (He throws GENIE to the ground and puts his foot on GENIE’s face.)
GENIE: I was afraid of that.
JAFAR: Genie, grant me my first wish. I wish to rule on high, as sultan!!!
(Cut to ext where dark clouds circle the castle. The castle shakes. The roof rips off and the SULTAN and ALADDIN duck.)
ALADDIN: Whoa!
SULTAN: Bless my soul. What is this? What is going on?
(His turban lifts off his head. When he grabs it, his whole body flies up, then is stripped of all his clothing except his boxer shorts. The clothing reappears on JAFAR.)
JAFAR: Heh heh heh!
SULTAN: Jafar, you vile betrayer.
IAGO: That’s Sultan Vile Betrayer to you.
ALADDIN: Oh, yeah? Well, we’ll just see about that! (Pulls off his own turban, but finds it empty) Kids! The lamp!
JAFAR: Finders-keepers, Abooboo.
(They both look up and see a gigantic GENIE lift the palace into the clouds.. ALADDIN whistles and CARPET flies up to greet him. They fly up near the GENIE’s head.)
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Carpet over here!
ALADDIN: Genie! No!
TINKERBELL: Genie you can't do that!
GENIE: Sorry, guys--I got a new master now. (He, Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago, Sid, Adelaide Chang, Tinkerbell, Fawn, Vidia, Rosetta, Silvermist and Iridessa places the palace on top of a mountain.)
SULTAN: Jafar, I order you to stop!
JAFAR: There’s a new order now--my order! Finally, you will bow to me!
(The SULTAN bows, but JASMINE does not.)
JASMINE: We will never bow to you!
IAGO: Why am I not surprised?
JAFAR: If you won't bow before a sultan, then you will cower before a sorcerer! (To GENIE) Genie, my second wish--I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world!
Aladdin: Genie stop!
(GENIE extends his finger. ALADDIN, TINKERBELL, FAWN, VIDIA, SILVERMIST, IRIDESSA, ROSETTA, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID AND ADELAIDE CHANG tries to stop him, but they cannot, and another GENIE (tm) brand lightning bolt strikes JAFAR, returning him to his normal look.)
IAGO: Ladies and gentlemen, a warm Agrabah welcome for Sorcerer Jafar!
JAFAR: Now where were we? Ah, yes--abject humiliation! (He zaps JASMINE and the SULTAN with his staff, and they both bow to him. JAFAR snickers as RAJAH comes running at him. He zaps RAJAH, and the tiger turns into a kitty-cat.) Down, boy! Oh, princess--(lifts her chin with his staff)--there’s someone I’m dying to introduce you to.
ALADDIN: (off-camera) Jafar! Get your hands off her!
(JAFAR zaps ALADDIN. CARPET flies away.)
JAFAR: Prince Ali Yes, it is he, But not as you know him. Read my lips and come to grips With reality (JAFAR brings the two of them closer in the air.) Yes, meet a blast from your past Whose lies were too good to last Say hello to your precious Prince Ali!
(JAFAR zaps ALI back to ALADDIN.)
IAGO: Or should we say Aladdin?
JASMINE: Ali.
ALADDIN: Jasmine...
JASMINE: What?
Aladdin: I-I tried to tell you, I'm just--
TINKERBELL: We have to hurry and rescue them!
ROSETTA: Here we go again!
JAFAR: So Ali turns out to be merely Aladdin Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me His personality flaws Give me adequate cause To send him packing on a one-way trip So his prospects take a terminal dip His assets frozen, the venue chosen Is the ends of the earth, whoopeeeeeeeee! So looooooooooooong,
IAGO: Good bye, see ya!
JAFAR: Eeeeeeeex-Priiiiiiiince Aaaaaaaallllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
(JAFAR has zapped ABU back to normal. He sends the twelve of them into a tall pillar, then launches it like a rocket, but not before CARPET can get in. F2B, then we see a snowy wasteland, where the pillar crashes and rolls. It finally comes to a stop. ALADDIN emerges, obviously very cold.)
ALADDIN: Kids! Fairies!
SID CHANG: Aladdin Over here!
ALADDIN: Lincoln! Ronnie Anne Sid Adelaide (hugs them) Are you okay?
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: We hope so! Jafar was taking your princess!
TINKERBELL: Guys! Down here!
LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID AND ADLEAIDE CHANG: Fairies!
ROSETTA: You guys okay!
ADELAIDE CHANG: Let's find Abu and the carpet so we can rescue her!
ALADDIN: Sure kids! Abu? Abuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
(He looks back at a shivering pile of snow.) Oh, this is all my fault--I should have freed the genie when I had the chance. (He digs out ABU and crads him inside his vest.) Abu! Are you okay? I’m sorry, Abu. I-I made a mess of everything... somehow. I gotta go back and set things right. (He starts to walk through the snow, and he eventually steps on a frozen CARPET.) Carpet! (They looks up and sees CARPET is pinned by the pillar. They tugs to try and free CARPET. He can’t do it, so he begins to remove snow from the base of the pillar.) Abu, start digging! That’s it! (Finally, enough snow has been removed, and the pillar begins to roll. ALADDIN runs away, looks back, then slides into place. The pillar rolls over him, and when it is gone, ALADDIN, LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, VIDIA, ROSETTA, SILVERMIST, IRIDESSA, FAWN and ABU are left sitting in the patch of snow made by the window of the pillar.) Yeah! All right! (He looks up at his turban, made out of scared ABU. CARPET shakes off the snow and rushes over to pick them up.)
TINKERBELL: Where to Aladdin?
ALADDIN: Now, back to Agrabah! Let’s go!
(We cut back to ext. long shot of Agrabah, shrouded in red clouds. Cut to int. and slow zoom of throne room. IAGO has the SULTAN tied up like a marionette, and JASMINE is chained next to the throne.)
IAGO: Puppet ruler want a cracker? Here’s your cracker. Shove ‘em all right down your throat. Here, have lots!
(JAFAR pulls the chain, and JASMINE walks up to him holding an apple.)
JASMINE: Stop it! Jafar, leave him alone!
(IAGO stops for a second, then continues.)
JAFAR: It pains me to see you reduced to this, Jasmine. (He takes a bite out of the apple she is holding.) A beautiful desert bloom such as yourself should be on the arm of the most powerful man in the world. (He waves his finger and a crown appears.) What do you say, my dear? Why, with you as my queen…
(She picks up a glass of wine and throws it in his face.)
JASMINE: Never!
JAFAR: I’ll teach you some respect! (She falls back as he raises his hand to slap her. Then he stops.) No. Genie... I have decided to make my final wish. I wish for Princess Jasmine to fall desperately in love with me.
(JASMINE gasps. We see LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, FAWN, IRIDESSA, SILVERMIST, ROSETTA, VIDIA and ALADDIN race back into town.)
GENIE: (Again as Buckley) Ah, master-- there are a few addendas, some quid pro quo-
JAFAR: Don’t talk back to me, you stupid blue lout! You will do what I order you to do... slave!
(JASMINE looks up and sees ALADDIN in the window, motioning her to play along.)
JASMINE: (She stands and puts the crown on her head.) Jafar! Hm, I never realized how... incredibly handsome you are.
(The GENIE’s jaw drops.)
JAFAR: That’s better. (He pulls the GENIE’s jaw up like a shade.) Now... pussycat, tell me more about…myself.
JASMINE: You’re... tall... and dark...
JAFAR: Yes?
JASMINE: Well dressed…
(JAFAR walks over to her. ALADDIN jumps down with LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID, ADELADIE CHANG, TINKERBELL, FAWN, SILVERMIST, IRIDESSA, ROSETTA, VIDIA, ABU and GENIE sees them.)
GENIE: Al! Al, little buddy!
ALADDIN: Shh!
LINCOLN LOUD: Genie we're glad to see you!
GENIE: (Literally zips his mouth shut, then unzips it.) I'm glad to see you too guys! Al, I can’t help you and your friends--I work for senor psychopath, now. (His head turns into JAFAR’s, then back.) What are you gonna do?
ALADDIN: Hey--I’m a street rat, remember? (He rezips GENIE’s mouth.) I’ll improvise.
ROSETTA: But now the hair make sense!
IRIDESSA: What do we do now?
TINKERBELL: Let's just get the magic lamp and get out of here!
(He slides down a pile of coins and hides close to JAFAR and JASMINE. JAFAR’s back is to ALADDIN.)
JAFAR: Go on.
JASMINE: And your beard…is so…twisted! (She has her arms around him. She pretends to twist with her finger, but she is actually motioning for ALADDIN to come over. He makes his move. IAGO sees him.)
IAGO: Jaf--mmmmmm! (ABU grabs him and covers his mouth.)
JAFAR: And the street rat?
JASMINE: What street rat?
(They are about to kiss when IAGO manages to knock over a bowl. JAFAR turns to look, but JASMINE grabs him back and kisses him. ALADDIN LINCOLN LOUD, RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO, SID AND ADELAIDE CHANG, TINKERBELL, FAWN, IRIDESSA, SILVERMIST, IRIDESSA and VIDIA looks disgusted. IAGO and ABU both look disgusted.)
ABU AND IAGO: Yuck!
JAFAR: That was--(he sees ALADDIN’s reflection in her crown.) You! How many times do I have to kill you, boy?!
(He zaps ALADDIN. JASMINE rushes him, and he throws her to the ground. ALADDIN rushes and grabs the staff.)
ALADDIN: Get the lamp girls!
SID CHANG: On it!
(JASMINE and SID CHANG runs to it. JAFAR, however, shakes off ALADDIN, then zaps them into an hourglass.)
JAFAR: Ah, ah, ah, princess--Your time is up!
ALADDIN: Jasmine! Sid!
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: Don't worry Sid! We're coming!
Adelaide Chang: [Hangs back, traumatized] My only sister, zaps into an hourglass! I'm not emotionally prepared for this!
(Sand begins to fall from the top onto her.)
IAGO: Ooh, nice shot, Jaf-- (he is knocked out by ABU.)
(ABU rushes for the lamp.)
JAFAR: Don’t toy with me! (He’s zapped into a toy monkey.)
ALADDIN: Abu!
(CARPET rushes in.)
JAFAR: Things are unraveling fast now, boy! (JAFAR laughs as CARPET is zapped and unravels. ALADDIN again rushes for the lamp.) Get the point? (His path is blocked by large swords sticking in the floor. JAFAR grabs the lamp and laughs hideously. ALADDIN pulls a sword out of the floor.) I’m just getting warmed up! (He breathes a ring of fire around ALADDIN.)
TINKER BELL: This magic lamp belongs to me, not Aladdin!
ALADDIN: Tinker Bell's right! Are you afraid to fight me yourself, you cowardly snake?!
Ronnie Anne Santiago: [They turn and see a giant boa constrictor hissing at them] "Snake!"
[She, Tinkerbell, Fawn, Rosetta, Vidia, Silvermist, Iridessa, Aladdin, Lincoln and Adelaide hold each other out of fear, and hear Jafar's voice again]
JAFAR: A snake, am I? Perhaps you’d like to see how… snake-like I can be! (He smiles broadly, and we see a snake’s tongue come out from behind his teeth. He then turns into a giant cobra, and the ring of fire around ALADDIN becomes part of the snake encircling ALADDIN. The snake JAFAR makes moves on ALADDIN, and on the third try, ALADDIN swings the sword and hits JAFAR. Cut to GENIE cheerleaders wearing ‘A’ sweaters.)
GENIE: Rickem, rockem, rackem, rake--stick that sword into that snake!
JAFAR: You stay out of thissss!
(GENIE waving a tiny pennant with a ‘J’ on it.)
GENIE: (Weakly) Jafar, Jafar, he’s our man. If he can’t do it, GREAT!
(ALADDIN uses the distraction to make a break for the hourglass where JASMINE is trapped. However, JAFAR sees this and blocks the path. ALADDIN is thrown away, and he loses his sword.)
JASMINE: Aladdin!
Ronnie Anne Santiago: "Oh, no, you don't!" [Jumps on the snake] "Squeeze, Lincoln! Squeeze!"
[They squeeze]
VIDIA: NOW! (ALADDIN jumps on a large gem and slides across the floor, grabbing the sword on his way. He turns a corner, but the pursuing snake cannot, and the front half of JAFAR crashes through a wall and hangs outside the palace. ALADDIN jumps up on the snake’s back and stabs it. JAFAR screams in agony. ALADDIN again tries to free the princess.)
ALADDIN: Sid! Jasmine, hang on!
(He is about to hit the glass with his sword when JAFAR grabs him.)
JAFAR: (laughs hideously) You little fool! You thought you and your friends could defeat the most powerful being on earth?!
IAGO: (with GENIE coming up behind him) Squeeze him, Jafar. Squeeze him like a--awk! (GENIE elbows him out of the way)
JAFAR: Without the genie, boy, you’re nothing!
ALADDIN: (Has an idea) The genie. The genie! The genie has more power than you’ll ever have!
JAFAR: What?!
ALADDIN: He gave you your power! He can take it away!
GENIE: Al, what are you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?
ALADDIN: Face it, Jafar! You’re still just... second best!
JAFAR: You’re right! His power does exceed my own. But not for long...
(JAFAR circles around the GENIE.)
GENIE: The boy is crazy. He’s a little punch drunk. One too many hits with the snake. (His hand turns into a snake and he hits his head with it.)
JAFAR: Slave! I make my third wish! I wish to be... an all-powerful genie!
GENIE: (Reluctantly) All right, your wish is my command. Way to go, Al.
(GENIE zaps JAFAR with the last GENIE (tm) brand lightning bolt. JAFAR’s snake form dissipates and he turns into a genie. We see JASMINE’s raised hand disappear under the sand. ALADDIN runs over and finally smashes the glass and free Sid Chang. Sand and princess pour out.)
SILVERMIST: Sid you're okay!
JAFAR: Yes... Yes! The power... The absolute power!
JASMINE: (to ALADDIN) What have you done?
ALADDIN: Trust me!
(A black lamp appears at JAFAR’s base. JAFAR is busy conjuring.)
JAFAR: The universe is mine to command! To control!
ALADDIN: Not so fast, Jafar! Aren’t you forgetting something?
JAFAR: (looks down questioningly) Huh?
ALADDIN: You wanna be a genie? You got it!
(Shackles appear on JAFAR’s wrists.)
JAFAR: What?!
ALADDIN: And everything that goes with it!
JAFAR: No! NO!!!
IAGO: I’m getting’ out of here!
ALADDIN: Phenomenal cosmic powers!
(IAGO tries to fly away, but is sucked in with JAFAR.)
IAGO: Hey, c'mon, YOU'RE the genie! I don't want, I don't--!
ALADDIN: Itty bitty living space.
LINCOLN LOUD: You did it Aladdin! You saved Agrabah!
TINKERBELL: We all did it!
RONNIE ANNE SANTIAGO: And you defeated Jafar!
SID CHANG: And saved the Princess too.
JASMINE: Thanks kids!
ADELAIDE CHANG: You're welcome!
ROSETTA: We've couldn't have done it without you Al!
ALADDIN: Thanks fairies! Especially you kids!
FAWN: You're welcome!
GENIE: Al, you little genius, you!
(ABU turns back to normal, the CARPET re-ravels, JASMINE, the SULTAN and RAJAH are standing together. RAJAH jumps up into the arms of the SULTAN, then they are all transformed. The SULTAN is crushed because of the weight of the new RAJAH. The palace reappears where it used to be in the city. ALADDIN is left holding the new lamp.)
JAFAR: (Both from inside the lamp.) Get your blasted beak out of my face!
IAGO: Oh, shut up, you moron!
JAFAR: Don’t tell me to shut up!
IRIDESSA: Could you throw that black magic lamp out of here!
VIDIA: For a long time Genie!
GENIE: Allow me. (He takes the lamp and goes to the balcony. He is now wearing a baseball cap. He winds up as if to throw the lamp, but opens his palm flat and flicks it out into the desert with his finger.) Ten- thousand years in a cave of wonders ought to chill him out!
(Jafar and Iago continue to argue as they fade out. Jasmine walks over to Aladdin. They hold hands, but both look sad.)
* Aladdin: Jasmine, I’m sorry I lied to you about being a prince.
* Jasmine: I know why you did.
* Aladdin: Well, I guess…this… is goodbye? (GENIE pokes his head around the corner shocked at what he is hearing.)
* Jasmine: Oh, that stupid law. This isn’t fair--I love you.
* Genie: (Wipes away a tear) Al, no problem. You’ve still got one wish left. Just say the word and you’re a prince again.
* Aladdin: But Genie, what about your freedom?
* Genie: Hey, it’s only an eternity of servitude. This is love. (He leans down next to her.) Al, you’re not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I’ve looked.
* Aladdin: Jasmine, I do love you, but I’ve got to stop pretending to be something I’m not. We should take Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago, Sid and Adelaide Chang home with Tinkerbell and her friends.
* Jasmine: I understand.
(They take one final look into each other’s eyes, then ALADDIN turns to the GENIE.)
* Aladdin: Genie, I wish for your freedom.
* Genie: One bona fide prince pedigree coming up. I--what?
* Aladdin: (He holds the lamp up to GENIE.) Genie, you’re free!
(A transformation scene ensues, in which the shackles fall off GENIE’s wrist and the lamp falls uselessly to the ground. GENIE picks it up and looks at it.)
* Genie: (He can’t believe it.) Heh, heh! I’m free. I’m free. (He hands the lamp to ALADDIN.) Quick, quick, wish for something outrageous. Say "I want the Nile." Wish for the Nile. Try that!
* Aladdin: I wish for the Nile.
* Lincoln Loud, Ronnie Anne Santiago, Sid, Adeladie Chang, Tinkerbell, Fawn, Silvermist, Iridessa, Vidia and Rosetta: Hooray!
* Genie: No way!! (Laughs hysterically. He bounces around the balcony like a pinball.) Oh does that feel good! I’m free! I’m free at last! I’m hittin’ the road. I’m off to see the world! I--
(He is packing a suitcase, but looks down and sees ALADDIN looking very sad.)
* Aladdin: Genie, I’m--I’m gonna miss you.
* Genie: Me too, Al. No matter what anybody says, you’ll always be a prince to me.
* Lincoln Loud: We'll miss you too Genie!
* Genie: Me too, kids and fairies. No matter what anybody says, you’ll always be a prince to me.
(They hug. The Sultan steps forward.)
* Sultan: That’s right. You’ve certainly proven your worth as far as I’m concerned. It’s that law that’s the problem.
* Jasmine: Father?
* Sultan: Well, am I sultan or am I sultan? From this day forth, the princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy.
* Jasmine: (She smiles widely and runs into ALADDIN’s arms.) Him! I choose… I choose you, Aladdin.
* Aladdin: Ha, ha. Call me Al.
(They are about to kiss when giant blue hands pull everybody together. Genie is decked out in a Hawaiian shirt with golf clubs and a Goofy hat.)
* Genie: Oh, all of ya. Come over here. Big group hug! Mind if I kiss the monkey? (He kisses Abu.) Ooh, hairball! Well, I can’t do any more damage around this popsicle stand. I’m outta here! Bye kids! See ya fairies! Bye, bye, you two crazy lovebirds. Hey, Rugman: ciao! I’m history! No, I’m mythology! No, I don’t care what I am--I’m free!
(The Genie flies up into the blue sky leaving a trail of sparkles behind him.) (They cut a jump cut to make matters worse to fireworks exploding over a nightscape. We tilt down and see Aladdin and Jasmine flying on Carpet.)
: [Aladdin]
:: A whole new world
: [Jasmine]
:: A whole new life
: Both:
:: (with off-camera chorus) For you and me!
: [Men's Chorus]
:: A whole new world!
(They fly off into the moonlight, and after they have disappeared, Tinkerbell's wand and dings at the end like magic. The moon turns and reveals the GENIE’s laughing face. Suddenly the film is grabbed "off the projector", the GENIE lifts it up and looks at the audience.)
* Genie: Made ya look.
The End.
(Drops the film back to normal, with the normal moon. Fade to black)
[Peabo and Regina]
♪ I can show you the world ♪
♪ Shining, shimmering, splendid ♪
♪ Tell me, princess, now when did ♪
♪ You last let your heart decide? ♪
♪ I can open your eyes ♪
♪ Take you wonder by wonder ♪
♪ Over, sideways and under ♪
♪ On a magic carpet ride ♪
♪ A whole new world ♪
♪ A new fantastic point of view ♪
♪ No one to tell us no ♪
♪ Or where to go ♪
♪ Or say we're only dreaming ♪
♪ A whole new world ♪
♪ A dazzling place I never knew ♪
♪ But now from way up here ♪
♪ It's crystal clear ♪
♪ That now I'm in a whole new world with you ♪
♪ Unbelievable sights ♪
♪ Indescribable feeling ♪
♪ Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling ♪
♪ Through an endless diamond sky ♪
♪ A whole new world ♪
♪ Don't you dare close your eyes ♪
♪ A hundred thousand things to see ♪
♪ Hold your breath - it gets better ♪
♪ I'm like a shooting star ♪
♪ I've come so far ♪
♪ I can't go back to where I used to be ♪
♪ A whole new world ♪
♪ With new horizons to pursue ♪
♪ I'll chase them anywhere ♪
♪ There's time to spare ♪
♪ Let me share this whole new world with you ♪
♪ A whole new world ♪
♪ A whole new world ♪
♪ A new fantastic point of view ♪
♪ No one to tell us no ♪
♪ Or where to go ♪
♪ Or say we're only dreaming ♪
♪ A whole new world ♪
♪ Every turn a surprise ♪
♪ With new horizons to pursue ♪
♪ Every moment red-letter ♪
♪ I'll chase them anywhere ♪
♪ There's time to spare ♪
♪ Anywhere ♪
♪ There's time to spare ♪
♪ Let me share ♪
♪ This whole new world with you ♪
♪ A whole new world ♪
♪ A whole new world ♪
♪ That's where we'll be ♪
♪ Where we will be ♪
♪ A thrilling chase ♪
♪ A wondrous place ♪
♪ For you and me ♪
* Genie: You have been a fabulous audience. Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves. Good night, Alice. Good night, Agrabah. Adios, amigos.
(closing logos fade out)