Personal Jesus

is the tenth episode of the fourteenth season and the 303rd overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.
==Short Summary==
A young boy is admitted to Grey Sloan Memorial and his case has a profound impact on the doctors. Meanwhile, April is faced with a surprising patient, and Jo continues to deal with her estranged husband.
==Full Summary==
April turns slowly in the shower and wipes her face.
Back at the hospital, April works on Paul as Meredith asks Alex and Jo what they did. They deny involvement. They were at home and got the call because Paul had her card in his pocket. Meredith sends them to the lounge and tells them not to talk to anyone.
Meredith goes into the trauma room and asks April if there are any suspects. April doesn't know. Meredith says she can't lose Paul and April says she won't. April calls Taryn for help.
Owen asks April about Paul and she relays the details and then tells him about Webber giving her the surgical competition. She's freaking out, which Owen thinks is because she doesn't want it. She says she does want it, but he's surprised she doesn't want to compete. She realizes Webber played her to get her to take it.
April goes to Webber and tries to get him to take it back, but he refuses.
Paramedics bring in Karin Taylor, who is pregnant and in labor. April says pregnant people go to L&D, but Karin says she's Arizona's patient and Arizona said she'd meet her in the ER. They get her into a room, where Karin says she doesn't want to question God, but the combination of the anatomy and the size of the baby doesn't make sense. April examines her and says the baby's not waiting. She can feel the head. Karin says she'll kill her husband if he doesn't make it.
Tuck and Rocco sit in a conference room while Ben and Bailey talk outside. They don't have school, so Ben was supposed to sign them up for science camp, but he forgot and he has a ride-along, so she needs to figure out what to do with them for the day. She sends him away. Maggie comes by and when she hears they were supposed to go to science camp and can't, she offers to do the camp at the hospital for them.
April is delivering Karin's baby. Taryn is grossed out when April has her help. Just then, Karin's husband arrives. He and April are shocked to see each other because her husband is Matthew Taylor, April's ex-fiancée. Karin screams louder when she realizes who April is.
Meredith thinks Alex and Jo shouldn't even be in the country. Jo once again says it wasn't them. Meredith believes them, but says they can make it to Canada by lunch time. Amelia comes and says he just has a severe concussion. He got lucky. Meredith jokes about it being attempted murder, not murder. They then see Jenny and conclude that she must have done it. Meredith jokes that that makes Jo an accessory. Meredith tells them at the very least, they should talk to a lawyer. Jenny and Jo make eye contact and Jo wants to talk to her, but Alex stops her.
April's upset that Arizona didn't tell her she was treating Matthew's wife, but she couldn't because of HIPAA. She wanted to. Andrew has the baby in her incubator and Arizona tells him to take her to the NICU. Andrew says the couple is so nice and Karin reminds him of April. Arizona goes to take the baby to the NICU with Andrew.
April tells Jackson about Matthew being there. Jackson laughs about it. April then tries to pass the competition off to him, but he's awkward about it and wonders why it's even April's to give him. April has to leave to tend to an incoming patient.
Paramedics bring in David Roman, whom they believe tried to commit suicide because he cut his wrist and then called 911. He says it wasn't suicide. His right hand was making him sin, so he tried to cut it off, like the Bible says.
Maggie is mixing chemicals in a lab. Tuck and Rocco are bored and want to leave, until she adds the catalyst, which creates an impressive fountain.
April checks on Karin, but she's worried about Ruby, the baby. Matthew goes to check on her. Karin stares at April. She's heard so much about April. April tries to defend herself, but Karin doesn't want to hear April's side. She just wanted to put a face to the name.
April sees Bailey and Jackson waiting for another incoming. Ben called them. It's an incoming GSW. April can't figure out why Jackson and Bailey are so shaken by it. They unload Eric Sterling, who was shot in the neck while trying to climb through a window into his own house. Ben wants them to take off the cuffs, but the cops refuse. The paramedics are ready to leave and ask if Ben is coming or staying. He decides to go with them.
Eric says he wants his mom as they start to treat him. Jackson stops a cop from re-cuffing Eric, saying he's a kid and he's not going anywhere.
Jenny approaches Jo and says she wants to talk for a minute. Jenny says she didn't tell the police it was Jo, but thanks her.
In a patient room, Jenny says she was in the hotel when Paul got hit, because he'd told her to stay put and gone for a walk. Jo says it wasn't her. They don't know who did it. Jenny feels bad for believing everything Paul said about Jo. She's smart. She's a scientist and a feminist. She never thought she'd end up in an abusive relationship like she did. It happened slowly. He cut her off from her support system and then she started to doubt herself. It was barely a surprise when he started hitting her and she actually believed it was her fault. Jo says she understands how it happened. They didn't fall for a guy who beat them. They fell for a guy who made them felt good. He was charming and persuasive and lured them in.
April explains David's case to Webber. David defends himself and says if April knew the Bible, she'd understand. April says she does know the Bible, which also says your body is a temple. David still defends himself, but April says God also created metaphors.
Eric wakes up with the cop next to him. The doctors debate whether or not to get a CT Angio and ultimately decide to get one, despite the radiation. Just then, Eric's family comes in. He explains to them what happened and his father tries to get the cops to leave. Eric went to the neighbor's house, but they weren't home. He reached for his phone to call his mom, but they shot him. His father wants to be directed to the guy who shot his child, but the other cops tell him they weren't on the scene, so it wasn't them. He wants to take their statements, but Jackson sends the cops out and tells them to give Eric time with his family.
Greg wants Jackson to leave them to their jobs, but he reminds them that one of their co-workers shot a kid in the neck for no good reason, so they need to find another way to do their jobs.
A nurse comes and takes April to Karin, who is complaining of pain. When April arrives, Karin denies any pain, but when April goes to page Arizona, Karin stops her and admits that her vagina hurts. April diagnosis a vulvar hematoma, which she can drain. Karin asks her to talk about anything else, so April asks how she met Matthew, but Karin wants to go back to her vagina. They both admit it's weird.
Bailey, Jackson, and April wait for Eric's scans and Jackson sees the cop and is angered that he's out there, allegedly protecting them from a 12-year-old strapped into a CT. They debate what happened and Jackson relates a story about being cuffed while carrying some speakers for his friend, one block from his home. The bullet is right by his carotid, but the vessel's intact. Jackson says they took his childhood away. He'll never be the same.
Matthew is arguing with Taryn over Karin not being sent to a room. April tells her to call whoever she needs to call to make it happen. Matthew then asks April how she's been. She says good. He tells her about not wanting to let Karin in because of what happened with April. He thinks April's still with Jackson. He also heard she was pregnant, so he thinks she has a three year old. She starts to explain, but then stops and tells him about Harriet instead. He says it worked out for both of them then. God took the pain and turned it into something wonderful. April says she's glad he found Karin.
Paul wants to leave despite Amelia's advice that he stay for observation. Meredith says to let him go. He's a doctor. He can walk around with broken ribs if he wants to. Jo and Jenny come in and Amelia asks Jenny to talk some sense into Paul before laving. Jo and Jenny confront Paul and Jenny finally stands up to Paul. He tries to assuage her, but she tells him she's leaving him and will talk to the police. Jo also says she'll testify. Paul tries to say no one will believe her, but she won't let him scare her into backing down again. She says firmly she's never speaking to him again except from a witness stand. He gets angry and tries to get up. Meredith pulls Jo and Jenny back, but Paul falls forward and hit his head on the bed frame and then on the floor. Meredith carefully goes over and takes his pulse and says they should call for a crash cart.
Richard tells Vik it's a simple repair for David. Vik asks why he paged Carina. He says the psych consult was taking too long, so he called an expert in the field. Carina is talking to David about the benefits of masturbation. She says everyone does it. She does it and she's not ashamed. David gets an erection and asks Carina to leave immediately, which she does.
Paul has second-impact syndrome. Amelia comes out and says it's likely he's brain dead. She asks Jo to talk to Jenny about her options. Alex says Jenny has to decide whether or not to continue life support. Meredith corrects that it's not up to Jenny. It's Jo's choice because they're still legally married. She starts laughing hysterically and can't stop. Then she starts to cry.
Matthew takes April to Karin, who is in extreme pain. Arizona arrives and takes over care as April rushes to Eric, who is coding because his carotid ruptured. They rush him up to the OR. His family watches in horror as he's wheeled away.
In the OR, they prepare to operate. April asks where she can go, but they don't need her, so she leaves the OR.
April passes the cops and ignores them as they ask about Eric. She rushes back into the ORs when she sees Karin's name being written on the board. Arizona says Karin's bleeding out and wonders why April didn't call her sooner. She has DIC and HELLP Syndrome. Her organs are failing. They have to remove her uterus. She sends Andrew to talk to Matthew about it.
April enters the chapel, where Matthew is praying. She came to pray, but she says she can leave. Instead, Matthew gets up and walks out without a word, so April sits down and starts to cry and pray.
Meredith says they found the guy who hit Paul. It was a drunk driver.
Jenny asks Jo what'll happen if they keep him plugged in. Jo says he won't last long. Jenny wanted Paul to rot in jail. Jo asks if Paul still doesn't smoke or drink. Jenny confirms that he's healthy, which gives Jo an idea.
Carina tries to flirt with Arizona, who is looking through Karin's medical records. Her baseline pressure was low, so when it elevated, it looked normal, so no one noticed. Andrew calls her into Karin's room because Karin's in PEA. Matthew prays as Arizona tries to send him out of the room so they can work on Karin.
April sees Jackson and Bailey talking to Eric's family, who start crying as they are told that Eric died. Jackson leaves the room and confronts Greg, who tries to defend the cop again. Jackson says everyone has biases, but theirs becomes lethal because they have guns. They can adjust protocols or they can keep pretending their biases don't exist. Kids are dying. Greg then tries to get April's statement. She says her statement is that a little boy was at home when an officer shot and killed him. She can't have faith in a system where that happens.
Bailey and Ben talk about Eric and then decide they need to give The Talk to Tuck.
Webber has paged April to David's room. He'll make a full recovery, but David has questions they can't answer, so he brought April there to help. They debate philosophical questions and David tells he to tell him what to do, because if the Bible can't, what is it all for? She can't answer.
Tuck holds his hands behind his head and says his name and age and that he's unarmed. Bailey and Ben coach him and tell him exactly what to do if he's ever confronted by cops. Even if his white friends are mouthing off, he can't do that. He can't fight back or talk back. His only goal is to get home safely. They want him to come home again and grow up to be anything and everything he wants to be. He's amazing and perfect and they want him to stay that way.
Jo and Jenny sit in the gallery and watch Paul's organs be harvested for transplant. Jo tells Jenny where his kidney is going. They talk about whether or not Paul is actually evil. Jo says she doesn't believe anyone's just evil. He was awful in his life, but in death, he's doing a lot of good, so there's light and darkness together.
April asks about Paul. Taryn says it was just a concussion as April thought, but then Paul died. Taryn doesn't know the details, but April is shaken. April then sees Arizona and learns that Karin also died. She watches Karin being zipped into a body bag.
April watches Matthew hold Ruby in the NICU through the glass.
April sits at the bar and drinks. Vik sits next to her and she finishes her drink.
April is in her shower. She wipes her face. Then Vik asks if he can join her, which she says he can.
==Cast==
14x10MeredithGrey.png|Meredith Grey
14x10AlexKarev.png|Alex Karev
14x10MirandaBailey.png|Miranda Bailey
14x10RichardWebber.png|Richard Webber
14x10OwenHunt.png|Owen Hunt
14x10ArizonaRobbins.png|Arizona Robbins
14x10AprilKepner.png|April Kepner
14x10JacksonAvery.png|Jackson Avery
14x10AmeliaShepherd.png|Amelia Shepherd
14x10JoWilson.png|Jo Wilson
14x10MaggiePierce.png|Maggie Pierce
14x10BenWarren.png|Ben Warren
14x10AndrewDeLuca.png|Andrew DeLuca
14x10PaulStadler.png|Paul Stadler
14x10MatthewTaylor.png|Matthew Taylor
14x10Jenny.png|Jenny
14x10CarinaDeLuca.png|Carina DeLuca
14x10DavidRoman.png|David Roman
14x10MartinSterling.png|Martin Sterling
14x10KarinTaylor.png|Karin Taylor
14x10Greg.png|Greg
14x10Chad.png|Chad
14x10VikramRoy.png|Vik Roy
14x10TarynHelm.png|Taryn Helm
14x10DanishaSterling.png|Danisha Sterling
14x10WilliamGeorgeBaileyJones.png|Tuck Jones
14x10EricSterling.png|Eric Sterling
14x10Rocco.png|Rocco
14x10ParamedicGrace.png|Paramedic Grace
14x10Paramedic1.png|Paramedic #1
14x10Paramedic3.png|Paramedic #3
14x10NurseKaren.png|Nurse Karen
===Main Cast===
*Ellen Pompeo as Dr. Meredith Grey
*Justin Chambers as Dr. Alex Karev
*Chandra Wilson as Dr. Miranda Bailey
*James Pickens, Jr. as Dr. Richard Webber
*Kevin McKidd as Dr. Owen Hunt
*Jessica Capshaw as Dr. Arizona Robbins
*Sarah Drew as Dr. April Kepner
*Jesse Williams as Dr. Jackson Avery
*Caterina Scorsone as Dr. Amelia Shepherd
*Camilla Luddington as Dr. Jo Wilson
*Kelly McCreary as Dr. Maggie Pierce
*Jason George as Dr. Ben Warren
*Giacomo Gianniotti as Dr. Andrew DeLuca
===Guest Stars===
*Matthew Morrison as Dr. Paul Stadler
*Justin Bruening as Matthew Taylor
*Joy Lenz as Jenny
*Stefania Spampinato as Dr. Carina DeLuca
*Kevin David Lin as David Roman
*La Monde Byrd as Martin Sterling
*Collette Wolfe as Karin Taylor
*Michael Weaver as Greg
*Santiago Segura as Chad
===Co-Starring===
*Rushi Kota as Vik Roy
*Jaicy Elliot as Taryn Helm
*Leslie L. Miller as Danisha Sterling
*BJ Tanner as Tuck Jones
*Kai Chamar Williams as Eric Sterling
*Dominic Ruggieri as Rocco
*Grace Rowe as Paramedic Grace
*Bryan Frank as Paramedic #1
*J. Omar Castro as Paramedic #3
*Frances Nichols as Nurse Karen
==Medical Notes==
===Paul Stadler===
*Diagnosis:
**Head laceration
**Cracked ribs
**Severe concussion
**Second-impact syndrome
*Doctors:
**April Kepner (trauma surgeon)
**Amelia Shepherd (neurosurgeon)
**Taryn Helm (surgical intern)
*Treatment:
**Stitches
**Organ harvest
Paul was injured in a hit-and-run. He had a head laceration, cracked ribs, and signs of a concussion, so he was sent to CT, which showed a severe concussion. Despite Amelia's recommendation that he stay for observation, he wanted to leave. He tried to get up to attack Jo and Jenny, but he fell and hit his head. He wasn't breathing and his pulse was thready, so they called for a crash cart. He had second-impact syndrome from getting a second concussion before the first one healed, causing his brain to swell, which left him brain dead. When brain death was confirmed, Jo decided to have his organs donated.
===Karin Taylor===
*Diagnosis:
**Pregnancy
**Vulvar hematoma
**DIC
**HELLP Syndrome
*Doctors:
**Arizona Robbins (fetal surgeon)
**April Kepner (trauma surgeon)
**Andrew DeLuca (surgical resident)
**Taryn Helm (surgical intern)
*Treatment:
**Vaginal delivery
**Drainage
**Surgery
**Hysterectomy
Karin, 30, was 37 weeks pregnant. Her baby had a small heart defect, so she'd been seeing Robbins for that. When April examined her, she learned she was near to delivery because the head was presenting. April delivered her baby in the ER. Karin later complained of pain in her vagina. April examined her and diagnosed a vulvar hematoma. She drained it, which relieved the pain. Later, Karin ended up in more pain and her BP and heart rate were elevated, so she was rushed into surgery.
She had DIC and HELLP syndrome, which was causing her organs to fail. Arizona decided that she needed to do a hysterectomy. After surgery, she went into PEA and was unable to be resuscitated. Arizona learned that she had an abnormally low BP, which made the elevated BP from her condition look normal.
===Ruby Taylor===
*Diagnosis:
**Coarctation of the aorta
*Doctors:
**Arizona Robbins (fetal surgeon)
**Andrew DeLuca (surgical resident)
*Treatment:
Ruby was born at 37 weeks with a minor heart defect. After birth, she was taken to the NICU for a workup, which pronounced her healthy.
===David Roman===
*Diagnosis:
**Wrist laceration
**Severed tendons
*Doctors:
**April Kepner (trauma surgeon)
**Richard Webber (general surgeon)
**Carina DeLuca (OB/GYN)
**Vikram Roy (surgical intern)
*Treatment:
**Surgical reattachment
**Rehabilitation
David, 20, attempted to cut off his hand because he believed it was causing him to sin. He was brought to the ER, where they believed he'd tried to attempt suicide. He explained what had really happened. They had to reattach the severed flexor tendons in his wrist to restore range of motion. They also had Carina come to talk to him about the benefits of masturbation. He was also told he'd have a full recovery with a little rehabilitation.
===Eric Sterling===
*Diagnosis:
**Gun shot wound
**Severed carotid artery
*Doctors:
**Miranda Bailey (general surgeon)
**Jackson Avery (ENT)
**April Kepner (trauma surgeon)
*Treatment:
**IV antibiotics
**Surgery
Eric, 12, was shot in the neck while climbing in his house window. They took films of his neck. They did a CT angio after x-rays didn't give them enough information. The bullet was trapped by his carotid, but the vessel was intact, so they gave him IV antibiotics and kept him for monitoring. Later, his carotid blew and they rushed him into surgery. They were unable to repair the damaged vessel and he was pronounced dead in the OR.
==Music==
Song 	Performer	Scene
"Father" 	Overcoats	
*The doctors rush Eric into surgery as his family watches.
*In the OR, Eric has a pulse as they prepare to operate.
*April is sent out of the OR.
*The cops ask about Eric, but April ignores them.
*She rushes back to the OR when she sees Karin's name on the board.
*Arizona says April should have called sooner. She's bleeding out.
*Arizona sends Andrew to talk to Matthew about a hysterectomy.
"Are You With Me"	Nilu 	
*Bailey and Ben finish talking to Tuck.
*Jo and Jenny watch Paul's organs get donated and Jo tells Jenny about the patients receiving them.
*Jo says in life, Paul was awful, but in death, he gets to save lives.
*April learns that both Paul and Karin died.
*April watches through the glass as Matthew holds his newborn daughter.
*April drinks at Joe's and Vik sits next to her.
*April finishes her glass.
"Father" - Overcoats
"Are You With Me" - Nilu
==Notes and Trivia==
thumb|right|300 px
*This episode's title originated from the song , originally sung by Depeche Mode.
*This episode scored 8.62 million viewers.https://web.archive.org/web/20180126234732/http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/daily-ratings/thursday-final-ratings-jan-25-2018/
*The episode is April-centric and deals with a police bias plot:
**Eric Sterling's character was named after Eric Garner and Alton Sterling, both of whom were killed by police.
**April starts questioning her faith and life decisions during this episode.
*Krista Vernoff considers "The Talk" scene between Bailey, Ben, and Tuck as one of the most difficult and important scenes ever featured in the show, and during her writing career.
*The episode features the return of paramedic Matthew Taylor, who made his last appearance in Get Up, Stand Up.
*As revealed by set decorator Nicole Cramer on social media, the shower scene takes place at April's new place.
==Gallery==
===Episode Stills===
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===Behind the Scenes===
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==Quotes==
:April: The Bible also says that your body's a temple and you should use it to glorify God.
:David: I'm trying to, but temptation is everywhere.
:April: Yeah, well, the Bible also says that God doesn't tempt us beyond our ability. He doesn't give us more than we can handle.
:Vik: I think handling it was his problem.
----
:April: When God created the world, he also created metaphors.
----
:Jo: I don't believe that anyone is just evil. If people were just one thing, life would be so much simpler. Paul was awful in his life, but now, in death, he gets to do all this good. So, there's light and darkness and they both coexist. And sometimes it's really beautiful.
----
:Greg: It was a high-pressure situation and the officer made a judgment call.
:Jackson: No. There’s no judgment in that call. It was just a reaction. You see skin color, we all do, but the reaction that you give to a white kid versus a brown kid in that split-second, that's the measurable, fixable difference. Bias is human. You have guns. You are using guns, so yours is lethal.
:Chad: We aren't racist. We just never know who has a gun.
:Jackson: I didn't say anything about racist. I said biased and lucky for us, bias is fixable. You have protocols in place. Those can be adjusted. You can fix it or you can keep pretending that it doesn't exist at all. Kids are dying. This kid is dead. For what? So many people that are just like him are dying. For what?
----
:Greg: Doctor. I'm sorry, but we still need a statement.
:April: My statement is that a little boy was at home when your fellow officer shot and killed him. You can't just be out there shooting people 'cause you're afraid. How am I supposed to have any faith in a system like that?
----
:Jenny: I really thought I was better than you. I believed everything he told me about you. God! I'm smart. I'm a scientist. I'm a feminist. I never thought that I would end up in something like this. It happened so slow. I stopped talking to co-workers, friends he didn't like. Then my family didn't understand. They got worried. So I just brushed them off and then stopped talking to them, too, and then my circle got smaller and smaller and smaller until all I had left was him. And then I stopped believing myself, things I had seen and heard, things I knew, because he told me I was crazy and I just believed him. He knows me so well. He can zero in on an insecurity and make a whole argument turn on a dime, and now it's my fault. It's my fault again. I'm always the one that's wrong. When he started hitting me, it was just barely a surprise. And he told me it was my fault, and I actually believed him. Until you talked to me yesterday, I really believed him. How did I believe him?
:Jo: Because he was good to you in the beginning. And on the good days. Jenny, we're not stupid. We didn't fall for someone who beat us. We fell for someone who made us laugh and feel wanted and loved and seen. Paul is brilliant and charming and persuasive, and the good outweighed the bad until it didn't.
----
:Jackson: They took his childhood today. He’s never gonna be the same.
----
:Carina: And it's good for you. Studies show it can increase productivity, gain confidence, improve your self-esteem. There is even some evidence to say that it helps lower the likelihood of prostate cancer.
:Vik: Really?
:Carina: God not only made our reproductive organs, He made pleasure centers. And He did not only make them pleasurable enough for procreation, He made them immensely pleasurable. And I do not believe He gave us all these things by mistake. Life is so painful sometimes and so stressful, and He gifted us with a built-in pressure release.
:Vik: Copy that.
:Carina: David, I'm saying everybody does it. Men, women, animal kingdom. Everybody in this room.
:Richard: Let's not...
:Carina: Well, I do it, and I'm not ashamed.
----
:Tuck: I am William George Bailey Jones. I'm thirteen years old, and I have nothing to harm you.
:Bailey: That's good, baby. You always have to show the police where your hands are. And always say what you're doing before you do it.
:Ben: Be in control of your emotions...
:Bailey: Yeah.
:Ben: Be polite and respectful.
:Bailey: Yeah, don't fight back. Don't talk back. Do not make any sudden movements. Remember, your only goal is to get home safely.
:Ben: If you get detained, don't sign anything or write anything. Wait for a parent before you talk.
:Bailey: And if your white friends are saying things or mouthing off, know that you cannot. You can't go climbing through windows, play with toy guns, throw rocks, and you cannot ever run away from them, no matter how afraid you are.
:Ben: Never, never, never run.
:Bailey: Everything that we're saying to you we're saying because we want you to come home again. We want you to grow up to be anything and everything that you want to be, do you hear me? You are amazing. You are perfect. And we want you to stay that way.
==See Also==
de:Seelenqualen
Category:All Episodes
Category:GA Episodes
Category:GA S14 Episodes