Mission: Weeaboo-boo/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Mission: Weeaboo-boo". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the short.
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[Paper thwacking]
IMP File:
Target: Emberlynn Pinkle
Location: Boring suburbs, in a boring town Rockview USA
Description: Gothy 20 something
Info:
She shipped Scrimbleson with Shawnathan instead of Blorbinzo 7 years ago, and it's basically incest or something, not really but dis bitch seems really upset about it.
[Blitzo is on Earth, hiding in some brushes as he talking to Millie on his phone.]
Blitzo: Aw thanks Mills, but- I don't think I need back up to down some suburban, college girl. You enjoy that bullshit musical and stop trying to use me as an excuse to get out of it-- Hey, look. If I had to sit through that miserable French hog shit, well so do you, okay? Bye Mills. 
[Phone beeps] 
[Studio laugher from TV]
[Blitzo chuckles]
[Blitzo turns off his phone and walks to the house; he peeks through the living room window, seeing the adults watching TV and chuckles; he climbs up a tree and seeing the target in her bedroom. He climbs into her room and sneaks up on her.]
Blitzo: Oh ho, ho. Bingo. B-Y-N-G-O. 
[Branch creaking]
I love killing, shooting things, I'll use a saw! I'll use a fork, too! Da dun, da da. I love killings things with any kind of weapon, give me a knife and I'll kill someone and today it's gonna be a stupid bitch! Da-da ughn! (Blitzo is suddenly knocked down by a holy force field, knocking him down) Ow, what the FUCK?! (he throws his knife at Emberlyn's bear, catching her off-guard)
Emberlynn: AHHH! (she falls over, then looks at Blitzo) Oh! (lovestruck) Ohh~
[Emberlynn's parents, hearing the commotion upstairs, look with disgust]
Emberlynn's Dad: Ugh, must be watching them damn "hen-tays" again.
Emberlynn's Mom: Why won't she leave?!
Emberlynn: Oh my god! What… are you?
Blitzo: I'm your worst fucking nightmare, bitch! [Blitzo grunts] Fuck. How are you doing this? What is that?!
Emberlynn: It's official merch from "Akuma no Otto". It's the pendant given to Setsuki in episode 5-6-9 that protects its wearer from- wait are you a demon? Like… a real demon?
Blitzo: Yeah, basically. Look, where did you even get something like-
Emberlynn: A demon? Here to steal a little kitten like me? Forced to be part of your demonic harem, "blushes".
Blitzo: Huh. Why d'you think I would do something like that? [Looks at all the monster lover merchandise in her room.] Ohhhh, you're one of those.
Emberlynn: So what's your name?
Blitzo: Uhhh. Blitzo.
Emberlynn: What are you gonna do to me, Blitzy-kun?
Blitzo: Uh. Apparently nothing while you're wearing that.
Emberlynn: I don't feel like myself. Are- are you… putting some sort of- nasty spell over me?
Blitzo: What? No, I'm literally just standing here, lady.
Emberlynn: If you say so, master. I mean… [Lustful tone] daddy~ But when you look into my eyes, it's like I have no control over my…. No! [She slaps him.]
Blitzo: Ahh-haaah, 'kaaay. 
Emberlynn: You demonic brute! I'm too pure a heart for you to corrupt!
Blitzo: Oh, thank fucking Satan.
Emberlynn: Satan? Is that your lord? The one you plan to offer me to as a sexual sacrifice? [Gasps, rushes to her computer and starts typing] But once you have me, you realize you could never go through with it because I'm the only woman who could ever make you feel something after the loss of your wife! Your wife- who was the first one your lord Satan took as a concubine. But now you'd rather have me! And you'd rather fight him to the death than allow me to come to the same fate!
Blitzo: Ew. Lady look, I was sent here to kill you, alright? You were a bitch online one time, someone didn't like it, they put a hit on you, I know it's excessive but I don't make the rules, oh well.
Emberlynn: You want to kill… meee?
Blitzo: Oh yeah. Even more now.
Emberlynn: Of course! You want to take my mortal soul to Hell so that we can be together forever!
Blitzo: Look, whatever gets you there. Can you just take off the necklace and hand over my knife?
Emberlynn: Yes master! [Gasps] No, I mustn't. But I want you! My soul… but I'm destined for this!
Blitzo: Bitch, can we hurry this up?
Emberlynn: OHHHHH YESSS! 
[She uses Blitzo’s knife to cut off the necklace, which dramatically flies through the air and out the open window.] 
Blitzo: Thanks. 
Emberlynn: Make it quick, my demon prince! [Blitzo grunts as he stabs her] [Gasps] [Moans sexually]
Blitzo: Eugh. Can you please stop enjoying this so much? Fuck.
Emberlynn: I will see you… on the other side… my- Blitzy-kun. [Bell tolls]
Blitzo: [unamused] Stab. Stab stab.
[Magical whoosh. Blitzo steps through the portal back to his office.]
Blitzo: Hey, yeah, it's done. So you can go ahead and wire me that money now, and I'll go ahead and never think about this night ever again.
[Suddenly a voice is heard outside the office window, revealed to be Emberlynn as a sinner demon. Blitzo peeks out the window, looking disturbed and uncomfortable.]
Emberlynn: I'm here, Blitzy-kuuun!! I saw your billboard! I'm here for you my love! I'll be by your side forever! BLITZY KUUUN!!!!
[Blitzo slowly moves down from the window, not only creeped out on how she found him, but also, still obsessed about him]
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