Goofballs/November 17, 2014

==Transcript==
Scene 1
*“Based on actual events” fades in and out over a black screen.
*Wind blowing is audible. Cut to a view of a snowy street. A car passing by drives off-screen to reveal the City Hall building, with Bob standing outside, looking at his watch, with Nick, YS and Da Nerd standing near the building, huddled up and shivering.
*Da Nerd: [breathes and shivers] Where is she?
*Bob: [hurriedly frustrated] I don’t know.
*A few moments later, a minivan pulls up to where Bob is standing.
*YS: [relieved sigh] There she is.
*The four all get in. The minivan then speeds away.
*Cut to a view inside the minivan. [Violet: driver seat, Bob: front passenger seat, Nick: left middle seat, YS: right middle seat, Da Nerd: right back seat]
*Nick: You’re late.
*Violet: I know, Nick. I got caught up in traffic.
*Da Nerd: You have a horn. Use it.
*Bob: Nerd, she’s not gonna honk at everyone just because the traffic’s a bit slow --
*Violet: [yelling frustratedly at traffic] The light’s green, dumbass! Come on! [honks horn repeatedly]
*The car ahead finally goes, and the minivan accelerates.
*A few moments of awkward silence ensue.
*YS: So… when do you get your license, Bob?
*Suddenly, a car comes from the right of the minivan. Violet stomps on the brakes; the tires squeal and the minivan slams right into the car, stopping both vehicles. The minivan’s headlights flash. Both cars are turned and holding up traffic from all sides of the intersection. A tire rolls away from the front-right side of the minivan.
*Violet: [exhales sharply] Is everyone okay?
*YS: Ah… I hit my head. [winces in pain]
*The five get out of the minivan.
*Bob: It’s totaled.
*Da Nerd: Not entirely… the lights still work.
*Everyone glares at Da Nerd.
*Da Nerd: What?
*Violet: So what the hell are we gonna do?
*Bob: I don’t know. See if it starts up.
*Violet: It’s not gonna start up!
*Bob: You don’t know that.
*Violet groans and gets in the minivan. She turns on the ignition. It idles for a bit and finally revs. She puts her head out the window.
*Violet: It works.
*Bob: Alright, let’s get in.
*The other four get back in the minivan.
*Violet: Now what?
*Bob: See if it drives.
*Violet slowly drives back onto the road. The minivan is going slowly and slightly out of control.
*Violet: It’s kinda slow.
*Bob: Yeah, one of the tires blew out.
*Violet: What!?
*Bob: It’s okay, just drive it to the Auto Shop.
*Violet: Are you crazy? I’m not driving this thing.
*Bob: None of us are legal.
*Violet groans and continues driving.
*She begins the long journey back down the road.
*Violet: This is stupid.
*Bob: Keep going.
*Cut to later, when the minivan finally reaches Ghastly’s Auto Shop. The five all get out.
*They walk into Ghastly’s Auto Shop, Violet at the head of the line. A bell jingles as they walk in the door. Ghastly, reading a magazine, immediately turns his attention towards the gang.
*Ghastly: Oh, hey, what are you guys doing here?
*Violet: We got into an accident, our tire blew out.
*Ghastly: Oh, I can fix that easily. What’s within your budget?
*Violet: Oh… um… we don’t have any money on us.
*Ghastly: [sighs] Violet… Violet… Violet. I guess I can make an exception just this once for you, pretty lady.
*Violet: Excuse me, I have a boyfriend.
*Ghastly: Not looking for any side action or anything?
*Violet: Just fix the damn car.
*Ghastly: Alright, alright.
*A timecard fills the screen reading “A short while later” for a few seconds.
*Cut to Ghastly in front of a fixed minivan.
*Ghastly: Done. Good as new.
*Bob: Whoa.
*Da Nerd: How the hell?
*Violet walks up to the minivan and shakes Ghastly’s hand.
*Violet: Thanks. [hurriedly] Alright, now we gotta get going. Come on, guys.
*They all rush into the minivan and drive away. Ghastly stares at his hand for a while.
*Ghastly: She… touched me. [giggle]
*“Exhilaration Animation presents” and “in association with SBFW” fade in and out over a view of the sky. Pull-down blur transition to the entrance of the city. The Statue of Sevenism is visible in the distance. The camera eases to the right, where a line of people are passing through a wristband scanner. 
*Cut to a closer view of the entrance scanner area. A small beep is heard after each wristband is scanned. A man wearing a “CCI” in the corner of his shirt scans his wristband, and a rejecting low two beeps are heard. The guard nearby is alerted and walks over to the man.
*Guard: Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.
*Man: What? No, you can’t!
*The guard picks the man up as he struggles and carries him over to the edge of the city. He sets the man down. The man takes out a notepad and quickly writes something down.
*Cut to a view of the pathway leading to the city, on which Weston and Bob are walking.
*Bob: [casual conversation] So anyways, congratulations on making supervisor, man!
*Weston: Haha, thanks. It’s quite an honor.
*Bob: Don’t mention it.
*Weston: Hey, you wanna go to that ice cream place that just opened? 
*Bob: The IRmjii Ice Cream Parlor just off of Main Street? 
*Weston: Yeah.
*Bob: Yeah, sure, I’ll call up the guys at City Hall; we can make it a party.
*Weston: Oh, really? Man, that’d be great! Thanks!
*Bob: It’s my pleasure.
*Bob whips out his phone and taps in Violet’s number.
*Weston: [lamely] Dude, seriously? A flip phone?
*Bob: Shut up.
*A few dial tones are broken by the muffled sound of Violet’s voice through the phone.
*Violet: What’s up, Bob?
*Bob: Hey, we’re having a party for Weston at the IRmjii Ice Cream Parlor. You guys wanna come?
*Violet: Um, I don’t know. I’ll ask them. [yelling] Hey guys!? You wanna go to a party!?
*Da Nerd: Hell yeah!
*YS: Yes!
*Nick: O...kay?
*Violet: Yeah, they all want to come.
*Bob: Great. Meet us there around 7.
*Violet: Alright.
*Bob closes his phone and puts it back in his pocket.
*Cut to a view of Violet in the lobby of City Hall, putting her phone back in her pocket. 
*Violet: Alright, guys, we have to be ready in like 10 minutes.
*Da Nerd: That is not gonna be enough time.
*Violet: Why not?
*Da Nerd: [comes downstairs, points to hair] You think this flow just happens?
*Violet: Well, you gotta make it fast. Just comb it or something.
*YS: [yelling from upstairs] There’s only two bathrooms. 
*Violet: You got mirrors in your rooms. But we need to hurry!
*Nick: [yelling from upstairs] Why are we going to this?
*Violet: Because, Weston just got supervisor and we should celebrate!
*Da Nerd: [whining] But it’s so much wooork.
*Violet: Come on, it’ll be fun. We have today off anyways.
*Da Nerd: [grumbling to self, going back upstairs] I’d have a lot more fun sleeping.
*Cut to a view of an analog clock reading 6:45. Quick blur transition thing to 6:55. 
*Cut to a view outside the building. Violet is holding the door open.
*Violet: Alright, guys! Let’s go!
*Da Nerd: One second.
*Violet: Your hair’s fine, Nerd!
*Da Nerd: I gotta fix this cowlick.
*Violet: [impatiently] Neerd! Come on!
*By now, Nick and YS have already stepped outside, and all 3 are waiting for Da Nerd.
*Eventually, Da Nerd comes downstairs and Violet follows them all out the door and into the minivan. 
*This isn’t important because a view inside the minivan isn’t seen, but [Violet: driver seat, YS: front passenger seat, Nick: left middle seat, Da Nerd: right middle seat]
*The minivan drives off-screen. Suddenly, a CCI spy appears from in the woods. He leans into his walkie-talkie.
*CCI Spy: They’re headed off to a party. 
*Voice from walkie-talkie: Copy that.
*CCI Spy: From what I heard, it’s to celebrate the promotion of that new supervisor, uh, Weston. 
*Voice from walkie-talkie: Are you sure?
*CCI Spy: Positive.
*Voice from walkie-talkie: Now, why the hell would they care about something like that?
*CCI Spy: I don’t know. But I’m going to find out.
*A dramatic note plays; cut to a close-up of the spy as he disappears in the woods again.
*Cut to a view in front of the IRmjii Ice Cream Parlor. The minivan pulls up to it. 
*Cut to a view inside the parlor, facing the door.
*The four walk in, Violet at the head of the line.
*Instantly, Weston and Bob notice them, as the door jingles. 
*Weston: Hey, guys! Glad you could make it!
*Bob: [slurring, throwing arms up into air] Yeah, hey! 
*Violet: Bob, are you drunk?
*Bob: Yep.
*Da Nerd: You just got off the phone like 15 minutes ago.
*Bob: Any--anything can happen in 15 minutes. I think… I happened in 15 minutes.
*YS: [breaking awkwardness] Okay… um, hi Weston. Congrats on the promotion.
*Weston: Thanks. [leans in] Don’t worry, I haven’t had a single drink. [leans back]
*YS: Yeah, I… didn’t think you would have.
*Da Nerd walks over to Weston and goes for a handshake.
*Da Nerd: What’s up, man?
*Weston: Hey, Da Nerd.
*Da Nerd: I know you’re hearing this a lot today, but great job on the promotion.
*Weston: Thanks, man.
*Da Nerd: When do you start?
*Weston: Monday morning. 8 o’clock sharp.
*Da Nerd: Cool. 
*YS: [rudely] So when do we get the ice cream?
*Violet: Youngsoo. 
*Bob: [slurring, loudly] Oh, I already got that taken care of. H--Hey IRmjii! 
*IRmjii: Yep?
*Bob: That ice cream ready yet?
*IRmjii: Um, yeah. Just a sec.
*Bob: Cool.
*In a few moments, two waiters come and hand ice cream cones to each of the six. They then return back to their spots behind the counter.
*Da Nerd: It’s… it’s not cherry.
*Violet: It’s okay, Nerd.
*Da Nerd: But… you guys know I’ll only eat cherry.
*YS: Stop whining and eat your dairy.
*Bob: [soft chuckle, talking quietly in distance, off-screen] Heh… that rhymed.
*Violet: So when does this party start? Come on, where’s the rave music?
*IRmjii: [in distance, reverberated throughout parlor] Hold on.
*After a few moments, a record scratch is heard, and upbeat electronic music starts blasting throughout the parlor. The lights dim and a disco ball lowers from the ceiling. It doesn’t turn on.
*IRmjii: Oh yeah: the disco ball doesn’t work, by the way. Enjoy your party! [walks off]
*Everyone stands awkwardly for a few moments.
*Nick: Well, this sucks.
*Bob: [slurring, dizzy and unbalanced] Come on, I wanna see a party!! Let’s… pass.. out. [falls over]
*Violet: Well, I think I’m just gonna pay for the ice cream and we can go home.
*Violet walks up to the counter and pulls out a pouch and zips it open. 
*IRmjii: That’ll be $58.93.
*Violet: [mutters] Damn it. Forgot my money again. [exhales frustratedly]
*Suddenly, Adam appears at the counter.
*Adam: Allow me.
*Adam hands money to IRmjii.
*Violet: … [hesitantly, in shock] Wow, thank you. What’s your name?
*Adam: I’m Adam.
*Violet: Oh, nice to meet you, um, Adam. 
*Adam: I, uh, [points away with thumb] I gotta go.
*Violet: Maybe I’ll see you around. Thanks again!
*Violet walks back over to the four with a confused look.
*Violet: Um… guys?
*Da Nerd: Yeah?
*YS: [scrolling through phone] What’s up?
*Violet: Someone just did something really generous.
*YS: Yeah?
*Da Nerd: What’d he do?
*Violet: He, um… he paid for the whole thing.
*Suddenly, the three stand in shock.
*YS, Nick: What?
*Da Nerd: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait… so, some stranger just came up and paid for our whole meal? 
*Violet: Yeah, um… yeah.
*Nick: Why would he do that?
*Violet: I don’t know. He seemed really nice.
*YS: Oh God, you’re not in love with him, are you?
*Violet: [sickened, offended, disgusted, outraged] No! What the hell? 
*YS: Sorry.
*Da Nerd: Dude, you should like, give him a job.
*Violet: You really think I should?
*Da Nerd, YS, Nick: Yes!
*Violet runs to the door, where Adam is about to step out. 
*Violet: Wait -- Adam.
*Adam: Yeah?
*Violet: Well, that was really quite a generous thing you did back there.
*Adam: Ah, it was nothing.
*Violet: So, um, you got a job?
*Adam: Nah, I’ve been out of work for a while.
*Violet: Oh. Um, I don’t know if you noticed but I’m from City Hall.
*Adam: Well, yeah, it wasn’t that hard to figure out -- you even got your uniforms on.
*Violet quickly glances down and notices that she does, in fact, have her uniform on.
*Violet: Oh yeah. Um… we could use a guy like you down there.
*Adam: Where?
*Violet: City Hall.
*Adam: Whoa, are you serious? That’d be great!
*Violet: We can set up an interview. Does Monday work for you?
*Adam: Yeah, Monday’s okay.
*Violet: Alright; see you then.
*Adam starts to step out the door.
*Violet: [sheepishly] Wait -- where do you live?
*Adam: That apartment building just off of Main Street. Apartment 3B.
*Violet: Oh, great. Alright, thanks. 
*Adam: [stepping out door] See ya.
*Violet: Bye.
*Violet walks back to the four.
*YS: So what’d he--
*Da Nerd: [interrupting] So what’d he say?
*YS: Hey, don’t interrupt.
*Da Nerd: Sorry, I didn’t -- I didn’t know.
*Violet: Interview’s on Monday. 
*YS: But you’re gonna hire him no matter what though, obviously.
*Violet: Well, yeah. But it’s still gotta be official.
*Da Nerd: Well, that, and you just met him.
*YS: Yeah, this guy could be a lunatic or something.
*Violet: Oh, please. He’s like 13.
*Da Nerd: [muttering] Obviously, you don’t know much about 13 year olds.
*YS: So where are we meeting him?
*Violet: That apartment building off Main Street.
*YS: Oh, SpongeyTube Apartments? I know a guy who used to live there.
*Violet: Great, so you know how to get there, then.
*YS: Nope. [grins from ear to ear]
*Violet: Then… to the map app! [unceremoniously takes out phone and starts scrolling through a map]
*Violet: Ah, got the directions right here.
*Da Nerd: Great. Let’s go home.
*The four walk out the door, it jingling as they walk out, YS at the end of the line dragging an unconscious Bob.
*The camera stays inside the parlor. The minivan speeding away is audible. 
Scene 2
*Cut to a view of Travis and Dave arguing in front the city park late at night.
*[underage bickering]
*Suddenly, Toph sprints up to them, and grabs Travis and hides behind him.
*Toph: You gotta help me! Quick!
*Travis: Dude. [yanks Toph off shoulders] 
*Toph: Someone help!
*Da Nerd notices from afar and comes up to Toph.
*Da Nerd: What, what’s the problem?
*Toph: They’re coming.
*Da Nerd: What? Who’s coming? Who are you anyway?
*Toph: No time to explain -- run!
*Da Nerd: What--
*Toph starts sprinting; Da Nerd runs after him.
*Da Nerd: What are we running from?
*Toph: [breathing heavily] The… I’ll... tell you later. 
*Eventually, Da Nerd and Toph get cornered and 3 thugs catch up to them and stop. 
*Thug 1: Well, well, well. 
*Da Nerd: Stop. [pulls out badge] City Hall administrator. 
*Thug 1 snatches the badge, and upon glance, crushes it in his hand and drops it to the ground.
*Thug 1: [chuckles evilly]
*Da Nerd: What do you guys want with him?
*Thug 2: That little shit owes us 600 bucks.
*Da Nerd: $600? Dude, how’d you…?
*Toph: I needed money. They loaned me it. I couldn’t pay them back. And that’s why--
*Thug 1: That’s why we’re gonna kill him. 
*Da Nerd: Alright, calm down. I’m sure he’ll pay you back.
*Thug 3: Yeah? He made that promise 3 months ago. 
*Toph: Guys, please, just give me a few more weeks.
*Thug 1: I’m afraid that’s not gonna do it. And you, [glares at Da Nerd] get out of here so your clothes won’t be covered in the blood that splatters from this punk.
*Da Nerd: You know, with a push of a button, I can get 4 other guys over here who can kick your ass.
*Thug 2: Doesn’t mean they’ll get here in time. Now stand back.
*Da Nerd: No. I won’t let you do it.
*Thug 3: [chuckles] How are you gonna stop us?
*Da Nerd: You don’t wanna know. And you definitely don’t want to find out.
*Thug 1: What are you gonna do? You’re even smaller than this kid.
*Da Nerd: Alright, fine. Come at me, bruh! 
*Thug 2: Don’t think I won’t!
*All three thugs come running straight at Da Nerd, who is shielding Toph. He stretches out his arms, and as soon as each thug touches him, they instantly become electrocuted and collapse on the floor, jolting.
*Toph: [confused] Whoa… what?
*Da Nerd: Electrocution vest. Every City Hall member has one.
*Toph: Whoa, that’s sweet!
*Da Nerd: Alright, we better get out of here. It only lasts about 30 seconds.
*Toph: Good call.
*They both start sprinting away. Cut to a sidescrolling view of them, motion blur is intense. They eventually cut a corner and hide in a dark alleyway. Soon, the thugs run by and don’t notice them.
*Da Nerd: [exhales] I think we’re safe for now. Talk.
*Toph: Okay, well, so I needed money, right?
*Da Nerd: Right. Okay.
*Toph: And I was really stupid and someone talked me into getting a loan shark.
*Da Nerd: One of those thugs?
*Toph: Yeah. He loaned me the money and he’s been bugging me every month about it, and I keep coming short about 300. 
*Da Nerd: And so this time he brought backup.
*Toph: Right. 
*Da Nerd: Haven’t you tried getting a job?
*Toph: What place is gonna hire a 13 year old? I’ve tried making music for a living, but that isn’t exactly working out just yet.
*Da Nerd: Well, City Hall hired me at 13. Maybe I can talk them into hiring you.
*Toph: Whoa, really? You’d do that?
*Da Nerd: Yeah, sure. I mean, we’re already meeting this other 13 year old; the more, the merrier. 
*Toph: Dude, thank you so much.
*Da Nerd: Yeah, then you can make enough money to pay that loan shark back. Hey, what’s your name, by the way?
*Toph: It’s, uh, Toph. 
*Da Nerd: Ah, cool.
*Toph: Man, how can I ever repay you?
*Da Nerd: Don’t. It’s my pleasure.
*Toph: Maybe a mixtape?
*Da Nerd: [laughs] Maybe. So, where do you live?
*Toph: Oh, I’m staying at a hotel right now. 
*Da Nerd: Ah. Where?
*Toph: Golden Creek Inn. It’s off the intersection at Zephyr Street and Amber Lane.
*Da Nerd: Alright, cool. You free Monday?
*Toph: Yeah.
*Da Nerd: Alright, see you then.
*Toph: Take care.
*Each start to walk away in opposite directions. Toph stops, turns and catches up with Da Nerd.
*Toph: Oh, um, actually, I need a ride home.
*Da Nerd sighs, turns and glares.
*He takes out some money from his pocket and slaps it in Toph’s hand.
*Da Nerd: Take a cab.
*Da Nerd walks off again. Toph stays standing, awkwardly.
*Cut to a view in front of City Hall, where Riley is walking up to.
*Cut to a view inside City Hall. Riley walks through the front door and into the lobby. AMK is working the front desk.
*AMK: Can I help you?
*Riley: Yeah, hey, can I talk to someone? 
*AMK: What about?
*Riley: I kinda want a job here.
*AMK: You’ll have to speak with Violet. She’s in room 301, on the third floor.
*Riley: Alright, thanks.
*Riley walks upstairs. Cut to a view on the third floor, facing the stairway. A large window is on the side of the wall opposite to the doors. Riley opens door 301. The viewer is not able to see inside the room.
*Violet: Oh my God, get out, you little perv!
*A pillow comes straight at the door; Riley shuts the door before it hits it. 
*Riley: Sorry, I - I didn’t know. I didn’t see anything, honest! I mean, not that there wasn’t stuff to see, but --
*Violet: What do you want?
*Riley: Um… can I have a job?
*Violet: I’m kinda busy!
*Riley: Um, well… when you finished getting dressed…?
*Violet: Fine! Just go, I’ll meet you downstairs.
*Riley: Alright… um… again, sorry.
*Violet: Go!
*Riley: Okay.
*Violet: Now!
*Riley walks back downstairs. He sits down in a chair by the front entrance door, patiently. AMK glares at him from a distance, then returns back to his work. 
*Riley starts to twiddle his thumbs.
*Cut to [??????]
*Cut back.
*Violet comes downstairs, which alerts Riley. He gets up to greet her, and goes for a handshake.
*Riley: Hi--
*Violet: [rejecting handshake] Yeah, yeah, okay. So, you want a job? 
*Riley: Yes, please.
*Violet: Why don’t we set up an interview for Monday?
*Riley: Oh, um, I have Glee club. 
*Violet: Cancel it. You want the job or not?
*Riley: Yeah.
*Violet: Monday’s the only day we’re free. Be there. Where you live?
*Riley: [hesitating] Um… 
*Violet: Never mind. Meet us here Monday.
*Riley: Oh, um, okay.
*Violet: Alright, I gotta go get groceries and stuff. Go home.
*Riley: Can I chill here for a while, get to know the place?
*Violet: No. Go home.
*Riley: Oh… alright.
*Riley follows Violet out the door. Riley talks while Violet begins to get into the minivan and speeds away, cutting him off.
*Riley: You know, I’m really looking forward to working with you guys… and it’s really quite an honor for you to even interview me… like, this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, honest… you know, I’ve never really had a real full-time job or anything… I just… oh… you’re going? Now? Um, bye. I… I guess? Oh… alright… um… see you then! Bye! Drive safe. Oh yeah, and again, sorry about the… [smug chuckle] well, you know… [quietly, to self] oh wait, she can’t hear me now.
*Cut to late at night; a view in the lobby of City Hall, facing the door. A Guitar Hero-esque game is audible and reverberated throughout the lobby, blaring from a room upstairs. Violet walks in, carrying a massive amount of grocery bags.
*Violet: [yelling] Hey, guys, you wanna come help?
*YS: Not particularly!
*Nick: We’re busy!
*Bob: Yeah, we’re watching Nerd FC The Seven Song!
*Violet: God, can’t you pause for like 2 seconds?
*Da Nerd: Just wait, it’s almost over!
*Violet eventually drops all of the bags (weak.) and sets her keys on the front desk [AMK left hours ago, don’t worry]. 
*After a few moments, all 4 groan and come downstairs. The music stops abruptly.
*Violet: What happened?
*Bob: Nerd choked.
*Da Nerd: [frustratedly] I can never get that solo down. 
*YS: It’s alright, you just need some practice.
*Da Nerd: No, but I always miss that exact note too.
*Nick: Maybe you just suck.
*Da Nerd: Bitch, I will knock the shit out of you.
*Bob: Alright, alright, calm down, Nerd.
*Violet: So are any of you gonna help put away the groceries or what?
*Bob: Oh, yeah.
*Nick: Sorry about that.
*Da Nerd: Yeah, alright.
*YS: ‘k.
*All 4 come over and grab their fair share of groceries and set them on the front desk, then start to unload the bags. 
*Da Nerd: [to Violet] Oh, hey, did you get that “site-rus” punch?
*Violet: It’s “sit-rus”. 
*Da Nerd: You sure?
*Violet: Yeah.
*YS: You’re both wrong. It’s “site-roose”.
*Nick: ...What the hell is wrong with you?
Category:2014
Category:Transcripts
Category:Movie Transcripts
Category:Notdn
Category:2010s