My World 2.n0

The eleventh chapter of Total Drama Revolution, posted on August 28, 2011.
==Story==
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution, the contestants had to run up a hill and swim through a dirty river. The Bugs lost, and Ori voted off Mattie. How will the contestants react to the merge? Fine out today, on Total Drama Revolution!" begins Chris.
The contestants walk outside, and see a sign that says "Merge 2Day."
"I guess we should start movin' our stuff, eh?" asks Vincent.
"Yeah, man." says Donny.
"So, the merge, huh?" asks Chelsey in her dorm.
"The other team girls are weird." says Elle.
"Yeah, there's that woozy girl, and then that other, mysterious girl." says Chelsey.
"I want the woozy one out, NOW." says Abbey, coming into the room.
"Hi. What's your name again?" asks Elle.
"My name's Steve." says Abbey sarcastically.
"Her name is Abby." says Chelsey.
"Abbey." says Abbey. "I'm not Nic's belly."
"Hey, guuuuurls." says Tasia, crawling into the room.
"Ugh, she's here." says Abbey. "Can we just vote her out now?"
"Why do ya haaaate me soooo much, maaaaan?" asks Tasia.
"You're extremely annoying." says Abbey.
"You need to watch Nebraska Shore. It's epic." says Elle.
"That show's stuuuupid, maaaan." says Tasia.
"You, my friend, have just made an enemy for life." says Elle.
"Two enemies, actually." says Chelsey.
"Wake up!" screams Kavren in the boys cabin.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Brush mah teeth!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get dressed!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Stare at Chelsey!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get kicked in the groin!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Start to cry!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Infiltrate the shower!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get kicked again!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Black out in the bathroom!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Play some Wuu!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Fart on Vincent!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get scolded at!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Eat some candy!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get explosive diarrhea!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Turn green!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Stick my head in the toilet!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Now I'm dead!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"...What was that?" asks Donny, coming into the room.
"I'm the bawss." says Kavren.
"That's cool." says Donny.
"I'm the bawss." says Kavren.
"Yeah, you already told me that." says Donny.
"I'm the bawss." says Kavren.
"What are you losers doing?" asks Ori, walking into the room. "I only got half an hour of sleep last night."
"We're having fun. Ever heard of it?" asks Kavren.
"Yeah, calm down, Oriana." says Donny.
A flushing noise is heard in the bathroom.
"Who just took a wazz? I didn't know there was anyone in there..." says Vincent.
Antoine walks in. "There's not." he says cautiously.
"That's super creepy, man." says Donny.
"Was it...?" asks Vincent. "You know..."
"I sure hope not." says Ori.
"Who? Was it who?" asks Kavren curiously.
"Remember that weird guy, Dolph?" asks Donny.
"You mean that jerk who was first eliminated or whatever?" asks Antoine.
"Yeah. Well, he's back, and he has a Nyan Cat." says Vincent.
"ZOMGLEE, I LOVE NYAN CATS!" says Kavren happily.
Chris comes into the boys' cabin.
"Everyone, a very special guest is here for the challenge, so you have to give him your best attention..." he says.
"You don't seem so happy." says Vincent.
"Follow me, and you'll find out why." says Chris sadly.
The boys head to the amphitheater, followed by the girls.
Two big, buff men come out. Their shirts say "SECURITY" on them, and they're wearing sunglasses.
"Security guards?" asks Chelsey.
"No, there's a famous person behind them, idiot." says Cammy.
"SNOOKI?" asks Elle excitedly.
A little-looking boy with stupid hair comes out.
"Hey, shawties! Lookin' fine!" says the boy in a freakishly high voice.
Elle pukes on Chelsey's lap, then passes out in the puke.
"Everyonesayhellotodustinnutria." says Chris curtly.
"Hey, brothas!" says Dustin.
"What is SHE doing here?" asks Ori.
"Yo, Chrissy told me to host today's challenge, yo!" says Dustin.
"Oh, god. Help me, please..." says Abbey.
Tasia takes out a pill from her pocket. "Take this, maaaan."
"So, shawties and brothas, yo' challenge is to write me a song. The best song wins invincibility, an' gets t' spend th' night with me!" says Dustin.
"I'm losing on purpose..." says Vincent.
"Since when did Dustin Nutria talk like Devin?" asks Cammy.
"I's always talked like dis, yo." says Dustin.
Five hours later, Dustin calls the contestants back to the stage.
"Yo, dawgs, time t' show me yo' songs." says Dustin.
"Who wants to go first?" asks Ori.
"You, li'l boiii! Since ya kindly volunteered." says Dustin. "Whatcha got?"
Ori comes up to the stage, and puts on a stupid wig.
"Is that s'posed ta be makin' fun o' me, yo?" asks Dustin.
"No..." says Ori. "Can I just start the song already?"
Dustin turns on some music.
"My name is Dustin." sings Ori. "I'm not a guy."
"WHAT?!" screams Dustin.
"I say I am," says Ori. "But I lie."
Dustin begins to cry.
"My name is Dustin," says Ori. "I'm not a guy. But I'm a girl..."
"Um, no I'm not." says Dustin. "Ya get a thwee outta ten, shawty."
"I'm a boy." says Ori angrily.
"Whatevs, babe." says Dustin. "Nex' up, Tasia."
"I don't have a song, maaaan." says Tasia.
"I don' care, jus' make somethin' up, sweetums." says Dustin.
"No way, maaaaan." says Tasia.
"YOU DO WHAT I SAY, DARLIN'." says Dustin crossly.
Tasia throws a ball at Dustin, and it hits him in the head, knocking him out.
"Uh, what just happened?" asks Chris, coming out of the bathroom.
"Dustin just died." says Antoine. "I mean, I hope."
"Well, since Ori was the only one to actually perform a song, he wins." says Chris.
"YES!" screams Ori. "In your face, you @#$%es!"
"PG." glares Chris.
"Wait, does that mean that I have to spend the night with Dustin?" asks Ori sadly.
"Yup." says Chris. "Sorry, bud."
Everyone laughs at Ori.
"I guess I'll get set up in mah dorm, bro." says Dustin.
"Whatever." says Ori gloomily.
Kavren is sitting in his bed, blowing bubbles.
Kavren says in the confessional, "Poopsalot. I'm gonna ask out some girl, I'm super bored."
"Hey, bro, where ya goin'?" asks Antoine.
"Asking out a girl. I'm super bored." says Kavren.
"Don't you have other things to do?" asks Donny.
"Yeah, but I'm choosing not to do them." says Kavren.
Kavren walks to the girls' dorm.
"Hey, maaaan. Whatcha doin'?" asks Tasia.
"Asking out a girl." says Kavren.
"Ooooh. Whoooo?" asks Tasia.
"Chelsey." says Kavren.
Tasia slaps her head and shakes it. "Sit down, maaaan."
"What do ya want?" asks Kavren. "I gotta whizz, hurry up."
"Don't ask out Chelsey, duuude." says Tasia. "She may be hoooot, but she's not the right giiiirl."
"Why?" asks Kavren. "I think she could say yes..."
"She won't say yes. That's the proooooblem." says Tasia.
"Yeah, she's too busy hanging out with Elle and being mean." says Kavren.
"Yeeeeah, and Donny likes her, toooo. And he's more hoooootter than you, maaaan." says Tasia. "No offense."
"More hotter?" asks Kavren.
"Pleeeeease excuse my grammar, maaaan." says Tasia. "So, yeah. Not Chelsey."
"So who should I ask out?" asks Kavren.
"Definitely not meeee. I'm a looooone wolf." says Tasia.
"So that leaves Elle, Cammy, and..." says Kavren.
"Abbey?" asks Tasia.
Kavren starts to blush.
"Whaaaat?" asks Tasia. She starts poking Kavren. "You liiiike her."
"No." says Kavren, trying to hide in his shirt.
"Yeeeeeah." says Tasia. "She's a babe, I don't blame ya."
"Shut up." says Kavren, trying not to smile.
"Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it." says Tasia.
"Do what, shawty?" asks Dustin, coming out of the bathroom.
"It." says Kavren.
Dustin lets out a little shriek and passes out.
"Yeah, come on, maaaan." says Tasia.
Donny, Antoine, Ori, and Vincent come out of the boys cabin.
"What are you guys doing here?" asks Kavren suspiciously.
"We heard an ask out was going on." says Antoine.
"And I can't miss it!" says Vincent. "Ask outs make me giddy."
Ori is eating popcorn. "Perfect."
"Where did ya get that, yo?" asks Dustin, getting up.
Donny kicks him in the groin, and he falls back down.
Abbey comes out of the girls cabin, going to the bathroom.
"Do it." whispers Tasia.
"Hey, guys, what's up with the crowd?" asks Abbey.
Kavren pulls her into the bathroom. "Yikes!" says Abbey.
"Hey, Abbey.." says Kavren. "You're hot."
Abbey blushes. "Thanks..."
Abbey says in the confessional, "All right. At the beginning of this season, I swore I wasn't going to like any boys. I even signed up as The Hard To Get Girl. But Kavren is so different from all the boys in my school. He's a freak, but he's cute and he's funny. So, if he asks me out..."
Kavren goes back into his room. "Come on, boiiiiis."
Abbey waves at the boys. "...Maybe tomorrow. I still have to think..."
"That's fiiiine, maaaan. Take as much time as you neeeed." says Tasia.
"Wait, why am I talking to you? I hate you." says Abbey, and she walks away.
Kavren says in the confessional, "Oooh, we're not voting yet. Pick the cutest contestant, Abbey." He presses the button on the "survey."
Donny says in the confessional, "Cammy did nothing today. She's out."
Cammy says in the confessional, "I did nothing today. Cool."
Chris is at the elimination ceremony. "Today, Dustin will call out the names who are safe."
"Toss-e-a." says Dustin. "Ches-lee."
Tasia and Chelsey groan.
"Ell. Oar-eye. Dough-knee." says Dustin.
The three flip off Dustin.
"Kavren, Vincent, and Cammy." says Chris, pushing Dustin aside.
The three get their items.
"Antoine and Abbey. I guess people just don't like the letter A." says Chris. "The person who's safe is..."
"Antoine." says Chris. "Abbey, you're out. And know who was the deciding vote? Kavren."
"B-b-but..." says Abbey. "Kavren, I thought you liked me."
"HEY CHRIS. DID YOU DISGUISE THIS AS THE VOTING DEVICE?" asks Kavren, holding up his survey.
"Yes, and guess who you declared the hottest contestant?" asks Chris.
"Oh, god." says Kavren.
A flashback is shown, showing Kavren voting for Abbey.
"Well, bye, guys. I'm starting to have second thoughts about Kavren..." says Abbey, leaving.
"Aw, noodles-in-a-cup." says Kavren.
"Actually, I'm glad she left. You would get Trimmy syndrome if she stayed, and that's not good." says Donny.
Cammy glares at Donny.
"Oh, god. You're right." says Ori. "Abbey, get the @#$% out of here."
Abbey gets in the car and leaves.
"Dustin, I changed my mind, you're not spending the night." says Chris.
"All right, then. I can live with that." says Dustin in a strange voice.
"Uh, that's not your real voice, is it? Because it sounds way deeper and British-er..." says Chris.
"Well, I'm not the real Dustin Nutria." says 'Dustin'.
He takes off a mask, and his clothing, revealing Dolph.
"Hello, everyone. Did you like my little trick?" asks Dolph.
"What the..." says Elle.
"Chris, let me back in the game, or you will have night terrors about a rainbow kitten." says Dolph.
"No way. You're creepy." says Chris.
"Dolph Anderson Alfred Garrison Harrison Larrison Barrison Rainbows III is AWAY!" says Dolph. He whistles, and his Nyan Cat comes out of nowhere and flies him into the starry sky.
"We have got to call the cops." says Chris.
==Author's Notes==
*This chapter was meant to be an extended roast of Justin Bieber. Good ol' 2011...
*Kavren and Antoine's "Like a Boss" scene, parodying the song of the same name by The Lonely Island, is another of TDRev's most infamous moments. However, this one's so lazy and stupid that I think it loops back to being funny.
*The scene where Kavren asks out Abbey was mostly written in collaboration with Fanny on Chatango. Kavren's scene with Tasia was meant to foreshadow them being the final two. Even at the time, I knew the relationship came out of nowhere and would make no sense, but I guess I wanted to give fan-favorite Kavren a girlfriend—who just happened to be the most out-of-character option.