High Smee/Transcript (7)

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in: The Garfield Show, Transcript, The Garfield Show Season 1 Episodes
= High Scale/Transcript =
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The Grinch: [Looking at a photo of Singer], Gee, I haven't seen Liz in days... [enters living room; to Cindy-Lou Who] Cindy-Lou Who, you don't look so good today. (Cindy-Lou Who sighs)
Cindy-Lou Who: *Sigh*. Here we go again.
----Cindy-Lou Who: Wouldn't it be easier to just buy her dinner?
The Grinch: Can I help you hold your stethoscope?
Singer Thurl Ravenscroft: The Grinch, there's nothing wrong with Cindy-Lou Who.
The Grinch: See, she knows!
Singer Thurl Ravenscroft: Nothing except his weight, of course.
Cindy-Lou Who: What do you know?
Singer Thurl Ravenscroft: Which reminds me, I better see how he's doing in that department. [picks Garfield up] Two more pounds and I'll need a forklift to do this.
Cindy-Lou Who: Hey! Sarcastic remarks are my job!
Singer Thurl Ravenscroft: You're going to inaugurate my new state-of-the-art animal scale, Garfield. Jon, would you turn the dial to "Portly Little Girl"?
The Grinch : [turns dial] "Portly Little Girl", just as you asked!
* [Cindy-Lou Who is put on the smee.]
Smee: OOOOOOOOOWWWWW! Get off me, you overweight tub of pasta and goo!
* [Cindy-Lou Who jumps onto the ceiling.]
Cindy-Lou Who: Yikes! That thing talks! And it screamed at me! And it's rude!
Singer Thurl Ravenscroft: Oh, I forgot to tell you: This is a talking smee.
Smee: Come back here, you bucket of lard! I wasn't finished with you!
Thurl Ravenscroft: Cindy-Lou Who's heavier than I thought. It says he needs to lose two pounds right away, by the end of the week if possible.
The Grinch: And if he doesn't?
Singer Thurl Ravenscroft: Then I think we have no choice but to send him to the Cat Spa.
Cindy-Lou Who: The "Girl Spa". That sounds great! Massages, long naps, more massages, more long naps... [continues to speak in the background.]
Singer Thurl Ravenscroft: They'll put him on a strict low-fat diet.
Cindy-Lou Who: [Realizes.] Strict low-fat diet?! [climbs on Jon] This low-fat diet, I can still eat lasagna and pizza and pork fried rice and bacon wrapped in bacon, right?
Singer Thurl Ravenscroft: Here's a video of the place I had in mind.
Narrator: Welcome to Maggie's Girl Spa, the world's leading health resort for lazy, overweight cats with attitude.
Father: When we brought Hector to Maggie's Girl Spa, he was eating 12 meals a day.
Mother: Well, he, uh, he got so fat that when he had to walk from the living room to the kitchen, he took a cab!
Father: But thanks to Maggie's Cat Spa, this is all behind us now.
Mother: Well, look at Hector now! Doesn't he look positively healthy and alert?
'Hector:' *Groans*
* [The Grinch and Cindy-Lou Who are shocked]
Narrator: At Maggie's Gurl Spa, your beloved pet will be placed on a strict regimen of exercise and diet. (Hector groans after he eats food, the video ends)
Jon Arbuckle: Cindy-Lou Who can't go to that place.
Cindy-Lou Who: Yeah, listen to The Grinch, he's right for a change!
Singer Thurl Ravenscorft: Either he loses two pounds by the end of the week, or it's the "Cat Spa" for him. Here, take the scale home with you so you can monitor his progress.
The Grinch: I'll do my best to slim him down. Do you think you can do it, Cindy-Lou Who! (He sees Cindy-Lou Who eat a sandwich) CINDY-LOU WHO! That's Singer's lunch!
Cindy-Lou Who: Hey, watching all that exercise made me... *gulp* hungry. (he nervously laughs; cut to his house)
----The Grinch: Dinner's ready, Cindy-Lou Who!
Cindy-Lou Who: I want lasagna, and ribs, and Chinese food, and chocolate cream pie, and roast beef with a side of roast beef, and third helpings of my second helpings and... [sees his dinner is a lettuce leaf] Huh?! Hey, what's this?
The Grinch: Enjoy your apple, Cindy-Lou Who!
Cindy-Lou Who: [tastes it, then eats it.] Gee, I was expecting food.
* [Cindy-Lou Who starts to rummage through fridge.]
The Grinch: [on phone to Singer] I put him on that strict diet you recommended, Singer
Cindy-Lou Who: You know these things aren't half bad if you cover them in whipped cream and chocolate sauce.
The Grinch: Uh, I'll call you back, Singer. [to Cindy-Lou Who] Let's see where we stand now.
Smee: Hey, you gained another pound! Nice going, fatso! A few more ounces and you'll qualify for your own ZIP code?
The Grinch: See? Now you have to lose three pounds!
Cindy-Lou Who: I'll worry about it in the morning.
The Grinch: I don't know will have to happen to get him to take this seriously.
----Cindy-Lou Who: The Grinch won't send me to that fat cat place. (he begins to fall sleep) Even if he did, it wouldn't be so bad... wouldn't be so bad...
----
* [Cindy-Lou Who enters a nightmare; The setting is in Colorsmee, and Cindy-lou who is imprisoned in a cell.)]
Cindy-Lou Who: Let me out! Please! Let me out! I don't belong here! It's all a big mistake, I tell ya! I'm not overweight! I just have a thick... thing of fur!
Hector: I wouldn't do that if I were you. Nurse Psycho doesn't like it when we scream in terror.
Cindy-Lou Who: Nurse Psycho?
Hector: You don't wanna know what she did to the last fat, obese cat that complained!
Cindy-Lou Who: What did she do?
Hector: [shivers] Let's put it this way: It was me.
Cindy-Lou Who: Help! help! The Grinch! Or better still, someone competent! HELP! Wait, I have to get a grip. This "Nurse Psycho" couldn't possibly be that bad.
* [Nurse Psycho enters the cell.]
Nurse Psycho: Where's the new fat cat!? (thunders sound are heard)
Cindy-Lou Who: Oh yeah, she could possibly be that bad...
Nurse Psycho: There you are! Have you been screaming in terror!?
Cindy-Lou Who: Wha-, oh, me? Ah, no. I was practicing my yodeling. Here, listen: Yodelayhee-hee-heehoo!
Nurse Psycho: We're going to get you into shape.
----Nurse Psycho: First, dinner.
Cindy-Lou Who: Dinner's good!
Nurse Psycho: I hope you like "pea".
Cindy-Lou Who: Peas? Sure, I like peas.
Nurse Psycho: No! Pea. [serves a plate with a single pea] One pea.
Cindy-Lou Who: [examines pea through glass of water] Gee, that's a... a pretty small pea. [to audience] Would you all please turn away? I don't wanna cry when my fans are watching.
Nurse Psycho: Eat it!
Cindy-Lou Who: Could I eat half now, and then take the rest home in a doggie bag?
Nurse Psycho: EAT IT! You'll start exercising as soon as you're finished!
Cindy-Lou Who: "As soon as I finish it", okay, well, here goes. [lifts pea, throws it in his mouth and chews] Mmm-mmm.
* [Nurse Psycho pounds table with her fist, causing Garfield to swallow and belch loudly)
Cindy-Lou Who: Oh, my compliments to the chef!
Nurse Psycho: Now, it's time for your workout.
Cindy-Lou Who: Why wait, I need time to digest that huge meal.
----Nurse Psycho: Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Now repeat for the rest of all eternity.
Cindy-Lou Who: No... I must've lost two pounds by now.
----Smee: Sorry, pal. You're still fat.
Cindy-Lou Who: WHAT?
* [Cindy-Lou Who is dragged away by Nurse Psycho.]
----Nurse Psycho: FASTER! My grandmother can run faster than that.
Cindy-Lou Who: Help! She makes... her grandmother do this, too! I must've lost the weight by now?
----Smee: Didn't you hear me, Whos? You're still fat.
Cindy-Lou Who: *Gasp*
* [Cindy-Lou Who is again dragged away by Nurse Psycho.]
----Nurse Psycho: FASTER! FASTER! FASTER! [Cindy-Lou Who gives up] We don't like slackers around here!
Cindy-Lou Who: What am I doing here? Why are you doing this to me? And why is everything in Color? I must've lost the weight by now?
----Smee: Guess what, chubby?
* [The smee starts to morph into a horrifying creature, with an eye, a mouth, and hand and legs and foots.]
Smee: That's right. You're fatter than ever. Even your flab is fat. You're so fat that when [voice nornal] you sit around the house, you sit around the house!
Cindy-Lou Who: Knock off the insults?
Smee: You're so fat that when you step on a smee, it says, "one at a time, please!"
* [Cindy-Lou Who begins to run away.]
Smee: You're so fat that you need a watch on each wrist; one for each time zone!
* [The smee corners Cindy-Lou Who.]
Smee: Don't be afraid, Cindy-Lou Who. You're among friends now. In fact, all your friends are here?
Cindy-Lou Who: I don't see any friends.
Smee: Here are your friends, Cindy-Lou Who. [living pieces of food appear. And apple and sonic and garfield] Pizza, ice cream, pie, cake, cheese, roast beef, lasagna apple sonic and of course, garfield! They're ALL your friends!
Talking Food: [in unison] And Apple And Sonic And Garfield: We're your friends, Cindy-Lou Who!?!!
Cindy-Lou Who: Why? Get away from me?
[Doors behind Cindy-Lou Who opens.]
Talking Food [repeats in a loop] And Apple: Eat!?
Sonic: And Play?
Garfield: And Watch!
Talking Food: [repeats in a loop] And Apple And Sonic And Garfield: us, Cindy-Lou Who!?!!
Talking Food [repeats in a loop] And Apple: We're delicious!,?
Sonic: And sega?
Garfield: And roadshow entertainment!
Talking Food: [repeats in a loop] And Apple And Sonic And Garfield: and fattening!?!!
Cindy-Lou Who: No, no… I have to lose weight? [Backs away, but falls into the dark abyss) *Screams*
----
* [Cindy-Lou Who wakes up, dizzy from his nightmare)
Cindy-Lou Who: I have to lose weight! I have to lose weight!
The Grinch: I don't know what to do, Singer. I can't get him to exercise! [notices hi Cindy-Lou Who ogging with Max as his coach.]
Cindy-Lou Who: One, two. One, two. One, two...
Liz Wilson: The Grinch? The Grinch, is there something wrong?
Cindy-Lou Who: I'll do sit-ups after I finish my aerobics?
The Grinch: Uh... I'll have to call you back, Liz... I seem to be having hallucinations. [Cindy-Lou Who enters kitchen.] Cindy-Lou Who, I'm so impressed! I'm sure you've lost at least two pounds!
----
* [Cindy-Lou Who gets on smee.]
Cindy-Lou Who: He better not insult me...
Smee: You still need to lose two pounds.
* [Cindy-Lou Who is shocked by this, while the Smee maniacally laughs]
The Grinch: I can't understand it! You must've lost weight, you must have! [notices] OH! I see what the problem is! I was supposed to set it for "Portly Little Girl", and by accident, I set it for "Pint-size Parakeet"! [Turns dial] You're fine! In fact, you may not have had to lose two pounds in the first place! [Cindy-Lou Who becomes enraged] But isn't it good you dropped a few pounds, Cindy-Lou Who! [Cindy-Lou Who starts walking to The Grinch with his claws bared] Cindy-Lou Who! Why do you look so... mad! Cindy-Lou Who! [runs out house] Leave me alone! Don't hurt me! HELP! HELP!
Cindy-Lou Who: I should go after him, but I have some more important things to do.
----
* [Cut to Whoville.]
Cindy-Lou Who: Let's see what you weigh, jumbo! [An elephant puts one foot on the scale]
Smee: What are you, An who? You really need to lose weight! You need to looooooooooooooooooooooo... [powers down]
Cindy-Lou Who: Yeah, I know it's cruel. But there're some things in this world you just can't forgive, and making exercise is most of them.