E-mail Malady

==Publishers Summary==
Email SuckS!
==Transcript==
Germaine is sitting at her computer.
Begley walks in.
: Germaine
: Porn, porn. Aw come on. Why can’t I just get my fucking e-mail without having to deal with some fucking perverted advertisements?
: Begley
: Right, would you mind explaining that?
: Germaine
: Dude look, I have 138 e-mails in my inbox. Only 5 of them are worth reading. The rest of them are porn ads. Female Ejaculations, Blowjobs, Anal sex, and all that other bullshit. I don’t even think these people do research on their target audience. What makes them think that I’m remotely interested in Female Ejaculations?
: Begley
: Maybe you could request the appropriate ejaculation of your liking.
: Germaine
: No, No ejaculations. I don’t want any ejaculations and I don’t want anymore of this porn shit in my e-mail dammit! Don’t they realize that I’m a girl and I have no use for ‘Schoolgirl Tit Fucking’? If they’re marketing this shit to guys, fine. Just keep it out of my fucking mailbox. I’m not interested in any of it. (Begley holds up a sign that reads: She owns Vibrating Underwear.)
: Begley
: I can’t understand you humans and your fascination with the whole sex thing.
: Germaine
: It’s not me.
Begley holds up another sign saying... "She’s a liar"
: And I don’t think as many people are obsessed with sex(Begley holds up another sign saying: She’s obsessed with sex!!) as marketing would have you believe.
Begley’s sign says: She’s not wearing panties.
: It’s all just some ploy to make people feel more inadequate than they really are.
Begley holds up a sign reading: You are all ugly.
: This way, men go out and buy fake hair...
Begley holds up yet another sign saying: or dye their hair. It points to Germaine.
: ...and Viagra; while women go and get their breasts enlarged for no reason.
Begley’s sign says: You need bigger boobs.
: Begley
: What about that advertisement?
: Germaine
: You mean the ‘Bathroom Blowjobs by Beautiful Bouncing Bitches’?
: Begley
: You people actually have sex in the loo?
: Germaine
: I dunno. Probably. I just hope they slip on a pile of crap and crack their heads open on the toilet.
: Begley
: Right that would be quite amusing. Then you could flush their brains down the potty.
: Computer
: You’ve got porn.
: Germaine
: Aw Come on!
End screen appears.
==External Links==
*Illwillpress website