Caine vs Alastor

Caine vs Alastor is the one hundred and ninth installment of Rap Battles of Freshy Kanal and the third episode of Part 7. It features the AI ringmaster of The Amazing Digital Circus, Caine, battling the demonic radio host hotelier of Hazbin Hotel, Alastor. It was released on May 25th, 2024.
== Cast==
longestsoloever as Caine (voice)
Jeesh as Alastor (voice)
garbageGothic as Pomni and Bubble (cameos)
RaccoonBroVA as Jax (cameo)
==Lyrics==
<tabber>
|-|Battle=
[Note: Caine is in red, Alastor is in dark red, Pomni is in blue, Jax is in purple and Bubble is in grey.]
===Caine:===
(Well, well!) Welcome to the global network!
Where I'm from, we dispose of errors
That are just like him; his whole soul is severed!
While we're breaking records, he's a broken record!
Seven years with his head in the dirt,
He's the Radio Demon and barely gets heard!
So, what's the name for our new companion?
He could be Cain; he got sonned by Adam!
(My, my!) You try to hide your past but I can see through
All the scars behind your laugh, I know the real truth!
Before you trap other souls inside your deal rules,
Maybe you should ask your owner to let your leash loose!
I'm on air, and gravity's a choice!
When he's on air, he's trapped between the noise!
But don't you worry; he won't be our main act
We all know he's powerless when Caine snaps!
===Alastor:===
You look a bit jittery; lay off the JavaScript
How many times can you glitch as a party trick?
If your fans aren't in hell for liking your show, they certainly are for the art of it!
We've no vacancy for another- "Ah, what if this show for kids made you scream?"
There's a place the street across that you know well,
Take him to the Hazbin-Done-Before Hotel!
I don't even really see what the fuss is,
Your pilot gave us 25 minutes of nothing!
But YouTube is flooded with more rip-offs and hoodwinks
Guess your bootlegs made a bigger digital footprint!
Truth is, you're a bad boss, and your hack job establishment might be fucked,
Because you were given a sandbox, and yet everybody in it wants to bite the dust!
Your world is sloppy code with bad graphics!
If I made that, I'd want myself Abstracted!
Nobody wants to stay inside of your domain; it’s like the guests are web trafficked!
===Caine:===
 I know being on camera's not your forte.
Deer in the spotlight, was caught in 4K!
(Oh no!) Now you're dead, hunting for your next job,
And for your resume, you've already got a head shot!
Now introducing: Pomni and Jax!
Uhhh, I don't think I can rap?
Just beat him up. What?!
What's a few broken bones to him? He's used to replacing the cast!
You're a bellhop with a Karen bob, Alastor,
So please hold the door while I speak to your manager!
Because you can't run ads, you've had your chance,
But you couldn't sell Angel Dust a bag of crack! (Can I get some?)
 For a killer, you're very attached to a dead industry, but you know how it goes!
Video killed the radio star, and digital killed them both! (Both, both, both, both…)
===Alastor:===
Listen close, you worthless scum, if you don't shut your fucking gums,
I'll soon remove and cut that tongue, and pull each tooth out one by one.
I'll have the appendages severed, the rest of the meat that is left on your body peeled,
Cooked medium-rare and presenting your guests with their first proper meal.
You understand?
I'll put your tent under maintenance
And you in a lifelong sentence of braces!
All for this high tech; who would choose it?
You're the proof that AI is ruining music!
Use Candyland for your cruel amusement,
You can't sugarcoat what you do to humans!
Maybe I'll move the hotel to your chaos,
'Cause everything will become Hell if you Stay God!
|-|Rap Meanings=
===Caine:===
(Well, well!) Welcome to the global network!
(Caine starts the battle by introducing Alastor to the digital circus despite the latter's distain for modern technology.)
Where I'm from, we dispose of errors
(As the ringmaster of the digital circus with power over the game world, Caine has the power to fix errors in it, as seen when he heals Ragatha and Pomni from their glitchy states in the pilot and removing Gummigoo (an NPC) from the Tent where all the playable characters live in Episode 2.)
That are just like him! His old soul is severed!
(Alastor is an Overlord and, more importantly, a sinner. These demons were humans who went to Hell when they died, a fact that Caine exploits by referring to Alastor's human soul as his "old soul" and how his humanity was severed from him since he is now a denizen of hell. Due to these aspects, Caine regards Alastor as a simple error for him to rid of, hence his previous line.)
While we're breaking records, he's a broken record!
(As of the release of this rap battle, the pilot for The Amazing Digital Circus has garnered over 300 million views on YouTube. This makes it the most viewed pilot on the site, surpassing even the view count if the Hazbin Hotel pilot, which only has over 100 million views in comparison as of the rap battle's release. In contrast, Caine compares Alastor to a broken record who is stuck repeating the same old things that have gotten tired, likely referring to his fondness for radio and old-fashioned technology, such as a gramophone that plays vinyl records.)
Seven years with his head in the dirt,
(Alastor had a mysterious disappearance from everyone in Hell for seven years. It's implied to have happened after a fight with Vox, as in Episode 2 of Hazbin Hotel, Vox shows anger and exclaims "IT'S BEEN SEVEN YEARS!", to which Valentino responds with "You still pissed he almost beat you that one time?")
He's the Radio Demon and barely gets heard!
(Alastor is the Radio Demon, broadcasting through his radio to all the residents of Hell. This means he has no flashy screen or effects to rely on like his rival Vox. However, Caine is saying that despite being all about radio, he barely gets heard by anyone. This also follows up on his last line, saying that nobody heard from him or his radio broadcasts for seven years.)
So, what's the name for our new companion?
(In the pilot of The Amazing Digital Circus, Caine inquires Pomni on what she wants her new name to be, as people who enter the titular circus forget their name. It can be assumed he did this for the entire cast, and now Caine is wondering what Alastor's new name is.)
He could be Caine, he got sonned by Adam!
(In Episode 8 of Hazbin Hotel, Alastor fights and is nearly killed by Adam, the leader of Heaven's extermination squad. Caine says that Alastor got beaten, or "sonned", and continues on from his previous line by saying that his own name could fit Alastor, referencing how, in the Bible, Cain is the son of Adam.)
(My, my!) Pal, you try to hide your past, but I can see through... all the scars behind your laugh; I know the real truth!
(Alastor has a dark and mysterious past that he hides under his charismatic showman-like persona. However, Caine says that he isn't so easily fooled by this facade, claiming he knows Alastor's secrets. In The Amazing Digital Circus, it's heavily implied that he knows more about the digital world than he lets onto the rest of the cast.)
Before you trap other souls inside your deal rules,
(Alastor is shown to make many deals with other demons for their souls, the primary example being Husker. Caine has a suggestion for Alastor before he does so, which he brings up in his next line.)
Maybe you should ask your owner to let your leash loose!
(It's shown through implications and dialogue that Alastor made a deal of his own and his soul is under someone else's possession, with theories pointing towards various candidates. Caine suggests that before Alastor makes deals for other demons' souls, he should maybe try and break free from his own soul-binding deal.)
I'm on air, and gravity's a choice!
(Within the digital world, Caine is able to warp reality however he pleases and is almost always seen floating in the air. He boasts how he's so powerful that he can choose when he wants to obey fundamental laws of physics such as gravity. In comparison...)
When he's on air, he's trapped between the noise!
(...Caine claims that whenever Alastor's "on air", or live on radio broadcasting his show, he's not heard by the residents of Hell, either because he's drowned out by various other commotions in it or they're watching Vox instead. Alastor's voice has a radio filter over it that he can control the pitch and volume of, resulting in audible noise being present whenever he speaks, something that Caine implies also hampers his broadcasts.)
But don't you worry; he won't be our main act.
(Caine assures the audience that Alastor isn't the main star of the rap battle, his reasoning for it being detailed in the next line.)
We all know he's powerless when Caine snaps!
(As previously mentioned, in Episode 8 of Hazbin Hotel, Alastor and Adam get into a fight that ends with Adam beating Alastor, doing so by destroying his microphone stand, which is what seems to give him most of his power. Caine makes another pun on his name, saying that Alastor is powerless when his microphone cane snaps, but he'll also be powerless if Caine himself snaps and gets serious. Additionally, when Caine uses his powers, he sometimes snaps his fingers as an indicator.)
===Alastor:===
You look a bit jittery; lay off the JavaScript.
(Caine's movement in The Amazing Digital Circus is sporatic, which Alastor claims is the result of Caine drinking too much coffee, which "java" is a nickname for. JavaScript is the main programming language a majority of the Internet is built upon, which likely includes the digital circus itself.)
How many times can you glitch as a party trick?
(The in-game world of The Amazing Digital Circus is prone to bugs and glitches, as seen with Ragatha glitching out after being attacked by an abstracted Kaufmo in the pilot and the wonky collission present in Episode 2. Alastor suggests that these get old pretty quickly. GLITCH is also the name of the YouTube channel where The Amazing Digital Circus is uploaded, with the series being created by the channel's animation studio, Glitch Productions.)
If your fans aren't in Hell for liking your show, they certainly are for the art of it!
(The Amazing Digital Circus' fandom is controversial for several reasons, one of which being the R34 artwork made of the cast. Gooseworx has confirmed the whole main cast is legal, but people still feel mostly negatively towards it being made in general, especially how it's shown in content farms. Alastor seems to think negatively of it himself, saying that if Caine's fans aren't with him in Hell for liking The Amazing Digital Circus, they'll definitely be coming down for the R34 they make of it. That being said, Alastor isn't one to talk, as Hazbin Hotel also has a controversial portion of its fanbase and its own slew of R34 artwork of the show's cast made.)
We've no vacancy for another "Oh, what if this show for kids made you scream?"
(Alastor insults the unoriginality of The Amazing Digital Circus; despite the show not being explicitly made for kids, it is easy to mistake it as a kids show with a seemingly silly and colorful world and cast of characters. However, it's actually filled with darker themes that are said to be explored more in future episodes. The premise of something seemingly friendly and bright being horror underneath is nothing new, which is why Alastor believes there's no need for another. "No vacancy" is a notice hotels use for whenever there's no room available for someone to check into.)
There's a place the street across that you know well; take him to the "Haz-bin-done-before" Hotel!
(Following up on his previous line, Alastor tells Caine there's a place for him that he should know, likely referring to how Gooseworx, the creator of The Amazing Digital Circus, is one of the score composers for Hazbin Hotel. "Haz-bin-done-before Hotel" is a pun on the Hazbin Hotel, but altered to say "Has been done before", which goes back to Alastor calling the premise of The Amazing Digital Circus unoriginal.)
I don't even really see what the fuss is,
(As previously stated, the pilot episode of The Amazing Digital Circus skyrocketed in views, reaching over 300 million before Episode 2 dropped. However, Alastor believes this is unwarranted for reasons he will say in the next line.)
Your pilot gave us 25 minutes of nothing!
(One common complaint about the pilot of The Amazing Digital Circus, especially after Episode 2 came out, was how it wasn't enough of a hook to get people interested. Some characters were relegated to minor roles, and some didn't seem to have too much depth yet. Alastor is saying the pilot was 25 minutes of nothing substancial, which is why he's confused where the popularity came from.)
But YouTube is flooded with more rip-offs and hoodwinks
(The Amazing Digital Circus is notorious for being a huge target of YouTube content farms. Alastor uses the word “hoodwinks” to describe these, playing into his use of more flowery words due to being from the 1920s.)
Guess your bootlegs made a bigger digital footprint!
(A digital footprint is the information that exists about a person's online habits. Alastor makes a pun on this and "bootlegs", referring to the aforementioned content farms, in order to say that they made a bigger impact than The Amazing Digital Circus itself. However, like with the R34 line from before, Alastor is once again being hypocritical, as Hazbin Hotel has also been the subject of YouTube content farms, albeit not to the same extent as The Amazing Digital Circus.)
Truth is, you're a bad boss and your hackjob establishment might be fucked,
()
Because you were given a sandbox, and yet everybody in it wants to bite the dust!
(Caine is the ruler of the titular digital circus, which is essentially a sandbox game where the players can do anything imaginable. However, the only thing the performers want to do is either escape or resign themselves to their fate, and Alastor suggests some of the performers might want to off themselves, utilizing wordplay with "sandbox" (which can also refer to sandpits that childen play in) and "bite the dust" (a term use for someone dying while also referencing the particles of sand naturally found in a sandbox).)
Your world is sloppy code with bad graphics!
(A theme of The Amazing Digital Circus is how the world is inside of an old-school video game. As such, glitches are present as both central themes as well as gags in both the pilot and Episode 2, and the world's graphics are quite simple blocks reminiscent of old video games. In his aforementioned fight against Adam, Alastor insults him at one point by calling him sloppy.)
If I made that, I'd want myself abstracted!
(Abstraction is something that occurs in the game if its residents go insane enough, turning them into a glitchy mess of a monster, and is essentially its equivalent to death given the individual's loss of identity and shape. Alastor says that if he dared to make a world as messy as the digital circus with his powers, he would want to be abstracted himself.)
Nobody wants to stay inside of your domain; it's like your guests got web trafficked!
(Web traffic is the data on people visiting a website. Alastor makes a pun on this to tell Caine that the players of the digital circus are stuck there akin to people being stuck in a traffic jam, using "domain" to refer to both the digital world that Caine has control over and the digital address of a website. It's also likely a play on human trafficking, which is the act of trading humans for sexual exploitation and forced labor without their consent, and the players of the circus were originally humans that were unwillingly transported there to play Caine's insane games.)
===Caine:===
I know being on camera's not your forte;
(Alastor is very against being on screen, as shown in Episode 1 of Hazbin Hotel, where he messes with Vaggie's camera when she tried to film his face.)
Deer in the spotlight, was caught in 4K!
(Caine notes how Alastor is a deer-like demon, which is further taken into consideration since Alastor's appearance is popularly said to resemble that of a wendigo (especially in his full demon form). Caine says that during Alastor's time of being a well-known serial killer, he was finally tracked down, presumably by authoritative figures, which Caine premises as him being "caught in 4K" (Internet slang for someone being exposed for doing something illegal or frowned upon by uploading photo/video evidence of it on the web) and further makes fun of Alastor's ill-fondness of video technology. "Deer in the headlights" is an expression for whenever someone being so surprised or scared when they're suddenly caught that they are unable to move, but Caine plays with it by replacing "headlights" with "spotlight", both to reference a stage spotlight that would shine on someone (calling back to both his and Alator's shared showman theme) and a police searchlight used to find and shine on criminals at night.)
(Oh no!) Now you're dead, hunting for your next job, and for your résumé, you've already got a headshot!
(A headshot is a picture of an individual's head/face. While not often necessary, some people make the choice to include a headshot of themselves with their résumé so they can apply for a job. Caine says that after Alastor's death, he already has a "headshot" to use for a job application, possibly due to the dying radio industry; however, instead of a photo, he's instead referring to an actual shot to the head from that ultimately ended Alastor's life, with said shot coming from a hunter who thought Alastor was a deer, connecting this line to the previous one.)
Now introducing Pomni and Jax!
(Caine introduces Pomni and Jax into the rap battle as he takes a quick break.)
Uhhh, I don't think I can rap?
(Pomni is very unconfident in her abilities to rap due to her being mostly a nervous wreck ever since entering the digital circus.)
Just beat him up. What?!
(Jax suggests to skip the rapping and just beat Alastor up, which Pomni is confused and caught off guard by.)
What's a few broken bones to him? He's used to replacing the cast!
(The voice cast of Hazbin Hotel is different in the pilot and the actual show, as the voice actors of the former got replaced for the latter, which is still a point of controversy due to how Vivziepop seemed to dismiss them. Jax is saying Alastor should be used to replacing a cast, both a cast for broken bones after they beat him up, but also the cast for his show. Additionally, Jax being the one to say this line is rather fitting, as he is voiced by Michael Kovach in The Amazing Digital Circus proper, who was the voice of Angel Dust in the Hazbin Hotel pilot before being replaced with Blake Roman for the actual show.)
You're a bellhop with a Karen bob, Alastor.
(In Episode 5 of Hazbin Hotel, "Dad Beat Dad", Lucifer assumes that Alastor is a bellhop based on his outfit. In addition to calling him such, Caine also says that Alastor has a bob cut of a "Karen" — Internet slang for an obnoxious entitled woman — since they are often depicted with such a hairstyle.)
So please hold the door while I speak to your manager!
(Continuing from previous line, Caine asks Alastor to perform the duties of a bellhop and hold a door open for him (depicted in the video as the Exit Door that Pomni goes through when trying to escape the circus in the pilot) so he can speak with Charlie Morningstar, the owner and manager of the Hazbin Hotel, as most Karens ask to speak to the manager of an establishment if they fail to get their way.)
Because you can't run ads, you've had your chance.
(In Episode 1 of Hazbin Hotel, Alastor shows Vaggie and Charlie a commercial he made to advertize the Hazbin Hotel. However, both women found said ad to be bad with how shoddily produced it was. Later, he makes a deal with Vaggie to help her make a proper commercial for the hotel, but right before they get to see the finished ad air on TV, it gets interrupted by a news broadcast about the new extermination deadline that Charlie unintentionally caused.)
But you couldn't sell Angel Dust a bag of crack! (Can I get some?)
(Angel Dust, a character in Hazbin Hotel, has a drug addiction that caused his death. Caine uses Alastor's failure in airing the advertisement for the Hazbin Hotel to say he is so bad at advertising and persuasion in general despite being the Radio Demon that he couldn't even sell drugs to a drug addict. This line also references the "Billy Mays vs Ben Franklin" episode of Epic Rap Battles of History, which has the line "You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack!", with both the original line and the version in this rap battle being insults towards the opponent's advertising ability. Bubbles' quick interjection at the end references a small gag in the second episode of The Amazing Digital Circus, where he declines Caine's offer to smoke from his bubble pipe, saying that he's "trying to quit," implying he's a recovering addict.)
For a killer, you're very attached to a dead industry, but you know how it goes!
(When he was alive, Alastor was a serial killer. When he showed up in Hell, he took out several Overlords. Through and through, he's always been a killer. He's also a radio host, which is a rather dead industry, so Caine tells Alastor that it's ironic for a killer to be so attached to an industry that's no longer alive.)
Video killed the radio star, and digital killed them both! (Both, both, both, both, both...)
(As mentioned before, the radio industry that Alastor is a host of was mostly killed off when video entertainment was introduced. Caine points this out and adds that the advent of digital entertainment (the medium The Amazing Digital Circus takes place in, was made in, and was released on) made radio and television obsolete. This is also a reference to the song "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles, which itself was referenced in Hazbin Hotel, as the title of its second episode is "Radio Killed the Video Star". Another meaning this adds is that Caine is figuratively implying that Alastor's arch-rival Vox (the Video Star) killed him (the Radio Star), and that his digital circus has ultimately proved to be the end for both of them.)
===Alastor:===
Listen close, you worthless scum, if you don't shut your fucking gums, I'll soon remove and cut that tongue, then pull each tooth out one by one. I'll have the appendages severed, the rest of the meat that is left on your body peeled,
(Alastor is a very powerful Overlord in Hell, but he rarely shows his true power to someone. In Episode 2, however, Alastor starts to transform to his true form at the end of the song "Stayed Gone", where he coldly threatens Vox. He does the same here, making cold threats towards Caine and describing how he'll kill and dismember him in the most painful ways possible.)
Cooked medium-rare and presenting your guests with their first proper meal.
(The guests of the digital circus can't eat proper food anymore; as explained by Kinger in the pilot, the food isn't real, only made to simulate the effect of actually eating food to the guests. However, Alastor claims that once he brutally kills Caine and cooks his body, he'll be able to present everyone in the circus with the first true meal they've gotten to eat in who knows how long. While it is unknown if Caine actually has flesh, it might be a possibility due to his possession of human gums.)
You understand?
(Right after the slowing down of the beat and the cold threats he made, Alastor switches right back to his more showmanship-like persona as the beat picks back up, making sure Caine understood all of his words. Within the show, Alastor is notable for switching back to his chipper self at the drop of a hat after threatening or scaring someone. This is best shown in the episode "Dad Beat Dad", where he threatens to painfully torment and kill Husk if he ever brings up him "being on a leash" again, which is further supported by Husk tremblingly responding with "Understood." while shaking in pure horror.)
I'll put your tent under maintenance
(The main setting of The Amazing Digital Circus is naturally a circus tent, which Alastor threatens to close down.)
And you in a lifelong sentence of braces!
(Caine's head is a pair of teeth, so Alastor threatens to destroy them so badly that Caine will need braces for life. Also, since Caine's head is a set of teeth, braces may serve as a prison, hence "lifelong sentence of braces!", implying that he'll send Caine to jail for the things he's done with the main cast of his show.)
All for this high tech; who would choose it?
(As stated many times before here, Alastor has a personal distain for modern technology, which Caine and The Amazing Digital circus as a whole certainly fall under. Here, he brings it up to question why anyone would side with Caine in this battle despite all the immoral stuff surrounding him as acharacter and The Amazing Digital circus as a show.)
You're the proof that AI is ruining music!
(The use of artificial intelligence in art, writing, and music is a controversial subject, as many believe that AI is ruining them. This is because of the obvious errors it makes, how it steals work from true creators to power itself, how it raises the risk of companies replacing said creators in favor of AI-generation software, and other various reasons. Since Caine is a digital being, Alastor says he's proof that artificial intelligence is negatively impacting music, insulting his performance in this rap battle. This also ties into Alastor's hatred of modern technology, which AI certainly falls under. While completely coincidental, around the week of the rap battle's release, a trend was started online of putting the melody of The Amazing Digital Circus's theme song into other popular songs, so one could also interpret the line as Alastor saying that pre-existing songs are being tarnished by the implementation of the theme song of Caine's series.)
Used Candyland for your cruel amusement,
(Episode 2 of The Amazing Digital Circus has Caine send the crew to the Candy Kingdom, which is very comparable to that of the Candyland board game due to the sweets and desserts aesthetic.)
You can't sugarcoat what you do to humans!
(Caine isn't a true villain, but rather an entity that just doesn't understand what humans are fully like. Regardless, he often puts the cast through dangerous or traumatizing scenarios while completely obliviously stating that they're going on fun adventures. This is also a pun, as Alastor mentioned Candyland and the Candy Kingdom in his previous line, and the word "sugarcoat" is both a term used for literally coating a dessert with sugar and slang for describing a topic as more pleasant than it actually is.)
Maybe I'll move our hotel near your chaos,
(Alastor suggests he may move the Hazbin Hotel somewhere nearby the digital circus, and he explains why next line.)
Cause everything will become Hell if you Stay God!
(Alastor says that for as long as Caine is the god of his world, the digital circus will basically be Hell, which is why Alastor may move his hotel nearby; the hotel basically relies on being within Hell so it can redeem sinners. The wording "Stay God" also sounds very similar to "Stayed Gone", which is the song in Hazbin Hotel where Alastor has the biggest role (excluding the pilot).)
</tabber>
==Trivia== 
*This is the second battle to be suggested by Shwabadihttps://twitter.com/FreshyKanal/status/1788673316842025341, after Denji vs Ash Williams.
==References==