Transcript:The Prince of Iorden, Part 5

EPISODE FIVE:
 EXT. SNOW-DUSTED HILL - TWILIGHT 
 NARRATOR
 From their position atop the hill, the party could see
 the shimmering tower stretching up to the sky, and the
 city of Armstrungard spread out around it.
 BILLY
 Lemme guess. Weenie’s people designed that tower. It’s
 called Cockingshirevilletownenburg or something, right?
 NELSON
 You’re mixing Old English place names with Germanic
 place names. It’s probably either Cockingshire or
 Cockenburg.
 BRENNEN
 That is the college of Armstrungard.
 YLLOWYYN
 And yes my people did build it, as a show of good faith
 to all Memyet.
 JEN
 How’d they get it so shiny?
 BILLY
 I got a few guesses.
 YLLOWYYN
 It was made from the tusks of great beasts that once
 roamed the northern deserts.
 JEN
 Elephants? There’s elephants here?!
 YLLOWYYN
 (NO SELF-AWARENESS)
 There were, before the tower.
 NARRATOR
 Brennen noticed Jen’s face drop in disappointment.
 BRENNEN
 We’ve heard there might still be some on the other side
 of the mountains.
 BILLY
 Don’t sweat it, babe. When we get back home I’ll win
 you another stuffed elephant at the fair.
 YLLOWYYN
 My family owns a few stuffed elephants.
 BILLY
 Not helping, weenie.
 - EARLY MORNING
 EXT. ARMSTRUNGARD BUSINESS DISTRICT 
 NARRATOR
 They entered the city shortly after dawn, and headed
 straight for its market district. Even this early, it
 was already bustling with merchants and buyers of all
 backgrounds and walks of life. Brennen guided them
 through the throng until they arrived at Bailey
 Brothers’ Purveyors of Fine Arms and Armor...
 INT. BAILEY BROTHER’S ARMORERS -
 NARRATOR
 ...wherein the man Bailey peddled his wares to Brennen
 over the din of a hammer and anvil.
 (BAILEY SPEAKS WITH A BROGUE.)
 BAILEY
 If your charges don’t find anything that suits them,
 we’d be glad to craft them some custom pieces for a
 small fee. But our pre-fabricated armor comes in styles
 to suit any body type and combat style.
 NARRATOR
 Indeed, Nelson had found a chain mail shirt that
 happened to resemble the buttoned, collared thing he
 had been wearing in size and fit.
 NELSON
 This is SO cool.
 NARRATOR
 Billy, similarly, had found a suit and helm of plate
 steel. The rounded design of the helm and pronounced
 shoulders of the suit did make them look somewhat
 similar to the attire Billy wore to play "football."
 BILLY
 I could kinda get used to this. Lot heavier than the
 stuff they gave us at school though.
 YLLOWYYN
 Heavy indeed.
 NARRATOR
 Yllowyyn tore a tremendous gash into Billy’s old
 attire, which lay on the floor, with his elven knife.
 Then, before Billy could react, he stabbed at the
 plate. His blade glanced off leaving nary a nick in the
 armor.
 YLLOWYYN
 But it might save your life.
 BAILEY
 It will certainly save your life. And has the lady
 found anything suitable? Myself, I think it’s great
 when a girl wants to lend moral support out on a
 battlefield.
 JEN
 I’m not sure about this...
 NARRATOR
 It must be admitted the the "Ladies’ Armor" available
 at this establishment did surprisingly little in the
 way of armoring and surprisingly much in the way of
 drawing attention to a young woman’s...moral supports.
 JEN
 (TO BILLY AND NELSON)
 What do you guys think?
 BILLY & NELSON
 (OVERLAPPING AD LIB., URGENT)
 Yeah! Great! Awesome! (etc.)
 JEN
 (TO BAILEY)
 Don’t you have anything with a little more...coverage?
 NELSON
 Lots of female characters dress like that in games and
 comic books. It’s for mobility.
 BILLY
 Yeah! What he said.
 JEN
 I think I could still be mobile if a little less of my
 chest was exposed.
 BILLY
 Think of it like your cheerleader uniform. You look
 great in your uniform.
 JEN
 ...Okay, I guess. I’ll take it.
 BAILEY
 Splendid. Now would you like to purchase any arms to go
 with your armor?
 NELSON Yes!
 BILLY
 This is for me.
 NARRATOR
 Billy noticed a large warhammer hanging on the wall,
 which he took down, only to discover he could not
 nearly lift it. He fell backwards under its weight,
 taking several posed suits of armor with him.
 YLLOWYYN
 Let’s stick with the armor for now.
 EXT. COLLEGE OF ARMSTRUNGARD GARDEN - LATE MORNING
 NARRATOR
 You’ll recall that the party’s primary destination in
 the city of Armstrungard was the college at its center.
 I am told that, in some places, ’ivory tower’ has
 become an expression for a place which shuts out the
 unpleasant realities of the world. No doubt this had
 its roots in reference to the College of Armstrungard,
 which was populated almost exclusively by elves and men
 whose fathers had a tremendous amount of gold at the
 time of their birth. And, of course, at its center was
 a literal tower of ivory.
 Jen was thoroughly awed by these sights when the party
 entered the college. Enough so that she forgot her
 initial embarrassment over her exposed skin. Nelson, in
 his gleaming new mail, looked surer of himself than he
 ever had in the halls of Valley Central High School.
 Billy was less impressed.
 BILLY
 This place is lame. They don’t even have a football
 field.
 NARRATOR
 Jen sighed quietly.
 INT. LIBRARY - A LITTLE BIT LATER
 NARRATOR
 Brennen was told that he and his charges could wait for
 the Elf he sought in a library, with books as far as
 the eye could see. The design of the room drew ones
 attention to a single, ornate desk, on which was
 perched an impressive candelabra. The candles were not
 lit, but rather the light in the room came from a large
 window behind the desk.
 As the party waited, Jen examined the extensive
 collection of books, their spines bearing characters
 that were strange to her. Nelson was similarly
 transfixed by the elven artwork decorating the stacks
 themselves. Billy had found a store of feather quills
 and was throwing them at the ceiling trying to make
 them stick.
 BILLY
 Hey, honey, come here. I think I’ve got the hang of
 this.
 JEN
 I’ve never seen so many books in one place. These all
 belong to one guy?
 BILLY
 They’re just books. Big deal.
 NELSON
 This stuff is amazing. I wonder where I can learn about
 these engravings.
 BILLY
 Ooh! Ooh! I know! In the exact opposite direction from
 a vagina.
 JEN
 (QUIETLY, TO NELSON)
 Nelson, not for anything...you mean well, but Billy
 isn’t into the stuff you are. Maybe he’d go easier on
 you if you didn’t, you know, broadcast it all the time.
 NELSON
 Guys like him will always find something to make fun of
 me for.
 NARRATOR
 From among the stacks came a woman in plain robes with
 skin similar in tone to Nelson’s. She had just shy of
 30 years and was called Nia. On her head was a purple
 headband, and around her neck was a disk similar in
 NARRATOR (cont’d)
 shape to those worn by the priests at Castle Guernatal,
 but made of old bronze instead of polished gold.
 (NIA HAS A NEW ZEALAND ACCENT)
 NIA
 Good afternoon. I’m Nia, teaching assistant to Ba’a
 lo-Ky’yr. How can I help you, m’lords?
 BRENNEN
 Well met, Nia. But none of us holds lands.
 NIA
 Sirs, then.
 BRENNEN
 Brennen will do.
 NIA General Brennen?
 BRENNEN
 The same.
 NIA
 It is an honor to meet such a lauded servant of the
 realm.
 BRENNEN
 And this is Yllowyyn, Kalth’yr to House Guernatal.
 NIA
 Th’aluum, Hyylyet.
 YLLOWYYN
 You know Hyyl’lyg?
 NIA
 Required of every divinity student at Armstrungard.
 Now, how can I be of service to you?
 BRENNEN
 We humbly request an audience with Ba’a lo-Ky’yr on
 behalf of his Majesty, High King Gunther Guernatal.
 NARRATOR
 As if on cue, the window turned opaque, plunging the
 room into darkness. Anticipating some mortal threat,
 Brennen unslung his axe and Yllowyyn unsheathed his
 hunting knife. That was when every candle in the room
 exploded with light to reveal the Elf-Mage who was
 called Ba’a lo-Ky’yr. Centuries old but as imposing as
 NARRATOR (cont’d)
 ever, with long white hair and beard braided into tails
 that wound down to his wrists, he raised his arms. The
 window turned transparent again, but now seemed to be
 tinted all the colors of a rainbow separately but at
 once.
 Brennen and Yllowyyn dropped to their knees, pulling
 the young humans with them.
 (BA’A SPEAKS WITH A WASPISH DRAWL SIMILAR TO
 YLLOWYYN’S.)
 BA’A
 Th’aluum, Memyet. What brings you to seek my council?
 NARRATOR
 Before they could answer, Ba’a noticed Yllowyyn
 BA’A
 (TO YLLOWYYN) To your feet.
 NARRATOR
 Yllowyyn obeyed without hesitation.
 BA’A
 Our kind do not bend the knee. You dishonor your
 heritage.
 BILLY
 [DERISIVE LAUGH]
 BRENNEN
 Forgive him, doctor. He only seeks to honor his
 commitment as Kalth’yr, by observing the traditions of
 men in my presence.
 BA’A
 You may rise.
 NARRATOR
 Brennen also obliged.
 BA’A
 To what do I owe the honor of a visit from his
 Majesty’s court?
 BRENNEN
 Royal business that requires the art of illusion. His
 Majesty says you are its greatest living practitioner.
 BA’A
 I’ve studied these arts for many centuries.
 BRENNEN
 Your help in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
 BA’A
 To be sure. As I greatly appreciate offers of coin in
 exchange for my time.
 BRENNEN
 Respectfully, doctor, the heads of House Guernatal have
 been liege lords of this city since the Peace. They
 provide for its defense, and ask for no taxes in
 return. It is through their benevolence that this
 academy, and its faculty, have flourished. And now,
 House Guernatal humbly requests a small favor in
 return.
 BA’A
 (DISMISSIVE)
 Right. Nia, I’m sure you can handle this.
 NARRATOR
 He turned to leave.
 BRENNEN
 His Majesty requested you by name, doctor.
 BA’A
 The girl is trustworthy. Now, you’ll have to forgive
 me, my good man, but I’ve research to attend to, and
 I’m afraid it doesn’t fund itself. Good day.
 NARRATOR
 Ba’a strode off into a smaller, more private office,
 and shut the door behind him.
 BILLY
 (AFTER BA’A)
 Hey! Do you know how to get to Pennsylvania?
 BRENNEN
 (TO NIA)
 We have gold if that’s what the doctor so desperately
 requires.
 NIA
 Good luck. Once he decides something is beneath him,
 you’d just as easily pass an orc for a princess.
 BA’A
 (O.S., THROUGH THE DOOR)
 I’m just working on your recommendation letter to the
 scholarship committee, dear. Anything you’d like me to
 add?
 NARRATOR
 Nia sighed, resignedly.
 NIA
 I haven’t met your other companions.
 JEN
 I’m Jen. I have no idea how I got here.
 NIA
 Pleased to meet you, Jen. I felt the same way before I
 accepted Galadon into my heart.
 BILLY
 Billy Williams. Junior. Captain of the Valley Central
 High Hawks.
 NIA Billy.
 NELSON
 Can you do that thing with the windows too? That was
 epic.
 JEN
 This is Nelson.
 BILLY
 He’s pretty weird.
 JEN
 He has an active imagination.
 NIA
 The first mark of a talented mage.
 BILLY
 What about whether you have pubes yet? Does that
 matter?
 BRENNEN
 (TO NIA)
 May I speak with you in private?
 INT. CLOSET-SIZED OFFICE - A BIT LATER
 NARRATOR
 The room set aside for Nia’s office space was
 comparable in dimensions to a particularly lavish
 coffin. The difficulty of Nia and Brennen confering in
 it was compounded by the countless scrolls and tomes
 stacked on Nia’s desk.
 With some difficulty, Nia found enough arm room to
 unravel the scroll that Brennen had been carrying with
 him. When, after some time, she was able to break
 through the enchantment concealing the name on the
 scroll, her eyes widenend.
 NIA
 This is for a criminal investigation, isn’t it?
 BRENNEN
 What makes you say that?
 NIA
 The name on this scroll...Aerona Regan.
 NARRATOR
 Brennen looked back, blankly.
 NIA
 Does that name mean nothing to you?
 BRENNEN
 Should it?
 NIA
 They call her "the Thief Queen of Arumstrungard," but
 ’thief’ barely captures her crimes.
 BRENNEN
 Criminal or not, it is vital that I find her. If thief
 queen she is, she’ll have taken steps to cover her
 tracks, aye?
 NIA
 It stands to reason.
 BRENNEN
 A mage might prove very useful to me in my search.
 NIA
 If the whispers about Aerona Regan are true, she’ll
 kill you before she bothers to say hello. I must
 graciously decline.
 BRENNEN TAKES A BEAT.
 BRENNEN
 You are a student of theology are you not?
 NIA
 Among other things, yes. I hope to take my vows once I
 have my doctorate.
 BRENNEN
 The night before I met those three young ones, I had a
 dream. A great bird, with feathers the colors of their
 clothes.
 NIA
 Will they be brought to the Elders?
 BRENNEN
 That is my intent. But I must find this Aerona Regan
 first.
 NIA
 Why is that?
 BRENNEN
 She may be vital to a royal investigation.
 NIA
 Do you take the scrolls of Baradir seriously, General?
 BRENNEN
 I know too little of them to have an opinion.
 NIA
 Then why jeopardize your mission taking the children
 along?
 BRENNEN
 Because it is what my King commands.
 NIA
 As it happens, General, I take the scrolls very
 seriously. With what you’ve said about your dream, I’d
 be disonhoring my oaths by not going with you.
 BRENNEN
 There will probably be great danger. Have you any
 martial training?
 NIA
 I know quite a few spells that can keep people safe.
 BRENNEN
 Will your master miss you?
 NIA
 Master? I left my friends and family to study under the
 greatest wizard alive, only to learn that he wanted a
 free research assistant rather than a student. He can
 stick it in his pointy ear.
 BRENNEN
 As you wish.
 NIA
 Passage to the underground is known to be found along
 the canal. I’ll meet you at the north gate after dark.
 BRENNEN Aye.
 NARRATOR
 They shook hands.
 NIA
 Until then, go with Galadon, General.
 END OF EPISODE FIVE.
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