Jazz Cats: The Ballads of Naxx and Doge - SiIvaGunner: King for Another Day

"Jazz Cats: The Ballads of Naxx and Doge - SiIvaGunner: King for Another Day" is a high quality rip of "Jazz Cats: The Ballads of Naxx and Doge" from SilvaGunner: King for Another Day.
This is a lore video that continues from the end of "Jazz Cats: The Beginning" and focuses on the side characters Naxx Guyfieri and Doge Mayer.
== Transcript ==
[We fade in on the end of The Jazz Cats' performance of "Countdown", as seen in "Jazz Cats: The Beginning". Shades plays The Lick at the song's end, causing the other two members to stare at him. Naxx casts the Jazz Cats a glance as he walks out of the recital hall.]
Announcer: Next up, we have the Songwriting Club's very own Naxx Guyfieri!
[Naxx gets onstage and performs a song.]
Naxx: I'm on the street
I see a lady, she's there on her feet
She's there to meet
That little lady, she's there to meet me
Our love is burning, passion fires
They burn in the night
Fly with me
Let's make some love
Girl, fly with me
We'll be doves
Like birds we
Fly with me
Let's go to the sky
And we'll see just how our love
It will shine
Shine now bright with me babe
[Doge walks into the recital hall and is visibly impressed by Naxx's performance.]
[Cut to the college's cafeteria. Doge is walking up to Naxx.]
Doge: Hey, aren't you that guy that ended the singer-songwriter jam last night? What was it, Max?
Naxx: [shoving a paw against Doge's mouth to silence him] Hey! Keep it down! My friends over there don't know I'm in the singer-songwriter club, okay?
Doge: Oh, is that so? Well, I'd love to join the club! I really love singer-songwriter music, and I'm glad I made it just in time to catch your song. It was great.
Naxx: Just for the last song? That's a bit late to be arriving at a jam, don't you think?
Doge: [nervously] I was... busy. But how is that club you were talking about?
Naxx: Honestly, I fucking hate it. It's pretty bad. But it gets the girls, so I'm there every week.
Doge: Read my mind, bro. Read my mind! That's why I was late last night! I was getting a... 𝒷𝓁𝑜𝓊𝓌𝒿𝑜𝓊𝑒𝒷𝑒. Why do you even think I came to music school in the first place? A good education? Get real. I'm here for the bitches.
Naxx: I can see we will get along just fine. What's your name, kid?
Doge: I'm Doge Mayer.
[Doge's name/character art screen appears.]
Man with a goldfish in a bowl for a head: I voted for Harry Truman.
Naxx: Well Doge Mayer, it is good to meet you. I'm Naxx Guyfieri.
[A name/character art screen appears for Naxx.]
[Milk Bowl's friend Seagull gets a serving of fried chicken that bears a disturbing resemblance to himself. The server at the counter is sphelonious donk.]
donk: ｔｈｅ ｆｌｅｓｈ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｋｉｎ
Seagull: [nervously] Heheh. Alright dude. Heh. Heh.
Naxx: We should totally jam sometime. But not now, I have a coffee date tonight.
Doge: A date? Fuck yeah, dude. With who?
Naxx: I dunno. Some emotionally vulnerable chick I met at the singer-songwriter jam. Always so fucking easy. "Oh, yeah, I totally also have issues with self-image and my parents." A fuckin' cakewalk.
Milk Bowl: Yo, Naxx! We got a table in the glass room, you coming?
Naxx: Yeah, on my way, Milk Bowl! Anyways, hit me up on Facebook. That's Naxx with two exes. Gotta bounce.
Doge: Catch ya later, Naxx.
[Cut to Naxx getting coffee with a young female dog.]
Dog: Hey, can I please have a grande iced chai tea latte. Thanks!
Barista: Sure, coming right up. That'll be $4.44...
Naxx: Shouldn't that probably be non-fat?
Barista: [looking up at the dog with a smile] ...wait. Aren't you in my lyric writing class?
Dog: Yeah! Leche, right?
Leche: Yeah, that's me. You're... Soph?
Soph: Yeah! By the way, that song you played today? I loved it so much. The lyrics really resonated with me.
Leche: Hey, thank you so much! I wrote it after I had troubles with self-image.
[Naxx smirks at the viewer.]
Leche: I thought it'd be a good way to get that out of my system.
Soph: It was beautiful. And keep the change.
Leche: Thanks! And, uh... [Leche's face goes from a smile to a frown as she turns to address Naxx.] What can I get you, sir?
Naxx: Venti pour-over. Make it not suck.
Leche: That'll be $2.75.
Naxx: [holding up cash] Here. [uncomfortable pause] Change.
[Naxx walks over to his table with Soph as Leche gives him a dirty look.]
Soph: I'm gonna be honest, I was a little surprised you asked me out. I mean... You're a sophomore, and I'm just a freshman.
Naxx: I mean, I really liked the songs you played at the jam last night, and I think you're very mature. You don't seem like a freshman, you know.
Soph: Really? Thanks! I actually wrote one of the songs about my dog.
Naxx: I loved the emotion in that one, really. What was the other one about?
Soph: Oh, the other one? That one was about how college has broken me down to the point where it is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Every day seems like an uphill battle, when I finally muster the courage to get out of bed and spectacularly fail in my classes. I crave the sweet release of death so I can stop embarrassing myself in a college that was seemingly designed to bring you down and make you feel shitty about yourself, especially in the context of how amazing everyone around you is.
...And also my rocky relationship with my dad.
Naxx: Your dad? Man, that must suck. And I genuinely can not fathom how you already feel that way, considering it's only day two of the semes--
[Naxx is interrupted by a customer furiously berating Leche. Her cup shows her name to be Karen.]
Karen: What do you MEAN I ordered it cold? I Don't want this coffee cold!!!
Leche: I'm sorry, ma'am, but you ordered an iced coffee... Usually those come cold...
Karen: Don't you gosh darn tell me what to do, young lady! I know exactly what iced coffee means and it doesn't mean THIS! Send it back, bring me a new one, I DEMAND IT!
Leche: I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm not allowed to do that.
Karen: Well who freaking can??
Leche: Only the manager has that power, but I don't recommend doing--
Karen: Well then call the mother tricking manager!!
Leche: Okay ma'am.
[Leche presses a button on the underside of her counter, and sphelonious donk materializes as the teleporting sound effect from can be heard, reference to Egghead.]
donk: ｓｐｅａｋ
Karen: Are you the manager? Listen, I can't believe the amount of incompetence displayed by your employee today. Well, you see, I ordered an iced coffee and the barista brings back THIS bullcrap!! This is unacceptable for a store of your caliber, and for that mater, a store of any caliber! I should have you fired, and I should have that useless barista fired because THIS was not what I ordered!!
donk: ＳＩＬＥＮＣＥ
Karen: I demand a full refund and a free drink and I better get both or I swear to the LORD JESUS ALMIGHTY that there will be CONSEQUENCES for you! I WILL CALL THE POLICE--
[donk's eyes flash, and Karen implodes and vanishes.]
donk: ｔｈａｎｋ ｙｏｕ ｆｏｒ ｃｈｏｏｓｉｎｇ ｓｔａｒ ｂｕｃｋｓ．
[donk vanishes.]
[Cut back to Barkley's College of SLAM. Naxx walks up to Doge.]
Doge: It's you! What's good, man, how was your date?
Naxx: It was fucking terrible. Can't believe she wouldn't fuck me after I bought her a scone. Also, we witnessed some lady literally fucking implode out of existence. Her remains faded out into nothingness after she burst onto the Starbucks floor.
Doge: That's really fucking weird, man.
Naxx: I know. It was really bizarre. I think I still might be in sho--
Doge: What flavor?
Naxx: Huh?
Doge: The scone. What flavor?
Naxx: What the fuck do you mean what flavor? It was a scone.
Doge: And she didn't fuck you? That's so fucking weird. So what are you gonna do about it?
Naxx: I don't know, man. Write a song maybe? Always good to get your emotions out in songs. I tend to write a lot when chicks won't fuck me.
Doge: Man, I agree. Can't believe two good guys like us aren't getting coochie left and right... Honestly, do you want to write that song, right the fuck now?
Naxx: ...You know what, Doge? Fuck it, let's do it.
[Cut to Doge's empty bed. Cut again to Naxx and Doge arriving at the college's practice rooms.]
Naxx: So these are the 4th floor practice rooms. You'd think they'd be deserted at night, but the only thing more unhealthy than a musician's god complex is their lack of a sleep schedule, so they'll be packed at all hours of the day.
[Naxx and Doge see Shades practicing in one of the rooms.]
Naxx: Speaking of, that dude is KILLIN', woo!
Doge: No, GOD, that's my fucking roommate; that dude is so fucking weird.
Naxx: Oh shit, I know that guy. He hung around with one of my friends today. Apparently they jazz together. Oh fuck, I think he saw you.
[Shades leaves the room.]
Shades: Hey, Doge, how was the singer-songwriter jam?
Doge: Oh, sup, Shades? It was pretty good, I got to see the whole thing.
Naxx: Hm? But I thou--
Doge: [elbowing Naxx for him to shut up] How about the jazz jam?
Shades: It was OK. Even though I was by far the best musician there, it still wasn't good enough for my standards. Nice talking to you, I'll be going back to the shed. See you in the dorm!
Doge: Alright, later, Shades. [to Naxx] Pick the farthest fucking practice room from that douche.
Naxx: Got it.
[Cut to Naxx and Doge in a practice room. Naxx is reading the sheet music, while Doge has an acoustic guitar.]
Naxx: Damn, I'm impressed we got this far with the song! And this is gonna fucking slay at the next singer-songwriter night.
Doge: Let's practice it one more time?
[The scene transitions into a singalong for Naxx and Doge's song.]
Naxx and Doge:
Gravity
Enter rooms with fresh walks
Try to go make small talks
Like Amishes who churn away
You hear me come and turn away
Do you think I'm too old?
Do you think you're too young?
Why are you being cold?
Why do you treat me like dung?
Bein' held down by love
By some god up above
He doesn't care about me
But that's no problem to me
Don't be so fresh
Don't be so man
I think we'd mesh
I think we can (make it)
I think this is real
This way that I feel
About you and you and
You and you and you and you
And you, but not you, or you either
You're ugly
So come on baby please
Let me give you a squeeze
Together we can ride
And then you can ride me
Do you think I'm too fat?
Do you think you're too fat?
I'm all choked up like my chicken
What's the problem with that?
Don't be so fresh
Don't be so man
I think we'd mesh
I think we can (make it)
I think this is real
This way that I feel
'Bout you and you and
You and you and you and you
But not you
Don't be so fresh
Don't be so man
I, I think we'd mesh
'Cuz I can think we'd make it baby
I think this is real
This way that I feel
About you and you
But not you
'Cuz you're ugly
You're ugly
But if you're hot call me up
Ya ugly bitch
[Cut to Naxx and Doge heading back.]
Doge: Alright, Naxx, that was a blast, but I should be getting to bed.
Naxx: Yeah, me too, man. Gotta wake up early to get some freshman girls at the caf for breakfast. Plus I gotta slam me some eggs. [The "Freddy Ruins Sam's Life" clip pops up on the word "slam" as in "Jazz Cats: The Beginning".]
Doge: Wait, are you eating the freshman girls for breakfast? That was a poorly worded sentence, and I am confused.
Naxx: Honestly, Doge, if all goes well, I'll be eating them for a lot more than just breakfast.
Doge: Yeah, the phrasing was still kinda weird on that.
Naxx: Hey, I realize that now, dickhead. Good night.
Doge: Catch you laaater~
Naxx: You really gotta fucking stop doing that.
[Cut to Soph at a laptop and talking into a phone with a sly expression on her face.]
Soph: I can't believe he asked me out. We got lucky we were able to act on last night's information so quickly.
Boice on phone: [garbled speech]
Soph: We're gonna get this fucking asshole. I know you didn't want me going undercover here, but I told you it would pay off.
Boice on phone: [garbled speech]
Soph: I'm not getting excited, Crowe. I know we still have shit to do.
Crowe: [garbled speech]
Soph: What am I, 12? Yeah, use that disgusting fucking rabbit to infiltrate his group, then get close to the cat to infiltrate that group.
Crowe: [garbled speech]
Soph: I SAW it, Crowe. With my own two fucking eyes.
Crowe: [garbled speech]
Soph: I wasn't on anything! I Swear. Not this time. I'm not making that mistake again.
Crowe: [garbled speech]
Soph: Alright, Crowe, I get it. We need to make our move soon.
Crowe: [garbled speech]
Soph: I'll take care of it. We're gonna get that bastard. We have to.
Crowe: [garbled speech]
Soph: Got it. I'll see you tomorrow, Crowe. Agent Blue, signing off.
[Fade to black on a closeup of Agent Blue's papers. Roll credits to "But Not You".]
== Credits ==
Jazz Cats 2:
The Ballads of Naxx and Doge
Voice Cast
(in order of appearance):
Announcer: Count Cannoli
Doge Mayer: Willie Weasel
Naxx Guyfieri: Janne Sala
sphelonious donk: Omknee
Seagull: Seagull
Fishy: Cannoli's Grandma
Tom "Milk Bowl" Malone: MagnumDongle
Soph Duvay/Agent Blue: Jea
Leche: Deercarass
Karen: Eivuiee
Shades DuPris: Coach
Visuals
Art Director:
Keeby
Artists:
Keeby
SodaMindReader
Deercarcass
Alexander A. McDonald
Count Cannoli
813N
LarryInc64
Video Editors:
Omknee
wolfman1405
MtH
Music and SFX
BGM:
wolfman1405
Practice Rooms:
Stubbs
POST ELVIS
Sebastian Kingsley
Hayley Abramowitz
Connor Allison
Hunter Shaner
Aquacycle
dante
"But Not You"
by Doge Mayer and Naxx Guyfieri
Composed (in character) by wolfman1405
Performed by Willie Weasel and Janne Sala
courtesy of SiIvaGunner Music, LLC
"Fly With Me"
by Naxx Guyfieri
Composed (in character) by wolfman1405
Performed by Janne Sala
courtesy of SiIvaGunner Music, LLC
with special thanks to the SiIvaGunner Rippers Crew,
HugelDude and Carol Cooper
and the "Official" Jazz Cats Fanserver
except Sierra B
Simon did not deserve that
Written and Directed by wolfman1405
A Special Thank You
to the SiIvaGunner fans...
Thank you for making the King for Another Day Tournament special for all of us,
and thank you for voting responsibly.
== Trivia ==
*This rip is currently the only instance of a "dual arrangement" representing only one challenger or team of challengers.
*Agent Blue has a poster of an alligator version of Chip tha Ripper on her wall with the text "W.A.C.E.". This is a reference to "Wace", a joke mashup by New Guy.
*The unreleased unedited audio from Agent Blue's phone call (posted by Wolfman1405 in the "Official" Jazz Cats Discord Server) contains some hidden dialogue.
== See also ==
*But Not You - SiIvaGunner: King for Another Day, a cover of Naxx and Doge's song.
Category:Rips with visual elements
Category:Count Cannoli
Category:Willie Weasel
Category:ThePopStarDude
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Category:POST ELVIS
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Category:Rips featuring MOTHER