Garfield's Fun Fest/Transcript

Category:Credits
Category:Transcripts
Category:Garfield Transcripts
Category:Direct-to-video Transcripts
[The film opens on a storybook called ‘Ye Olde Funny Tale’ as it opens to the first page.]
Narrator: A long, long time ago, within a mystical forest, on a magical pond, there lived a frog named Freddy. Freddy was no ordinary frog. Okay, he was sort of ordinary. Freddy was the first funny frog. Not only was he the first funny frog, he was the first funny anything. Not even clowns were funny back then. Clowns were teachers and lawyers and used car salesmen. Just regular folks, like you and me. Soon, Freddy was playing to packed houses. The creatures loved Freddy, and they wanted to be funny like him, but, alas, they didn't know what made him so funny. One brave bear cub stepped forward, conjecturing that the pond water made Freddy funny. He took a sip, and he became funny. Soon, creatures came from far and wide to drink from this magical pond. They loved the good feeling they had after they laughed. Life seemed so much more manageable when they approached it with humor. 
[As it turns out, Garfield was reading the book to Odie.]
Garfield: Thus was the story of the creation of humor.
Jon Arbuckle: (offscreen) Garfield! Odie! Breakfast!
Garfield: And they all lived happily ever after. (closes the book) The end. (drops the book) Let's eat. 
[Odie looks at the book for a moment and then throws it away. They went to the dining room, where it was dark for some reason.]
Garfield: Why is it so dark in here?
Odie: Huh?
[Just then, disco lights start flashing and disco music starts playing. Dancing in the room was Jon Arbuckle as pieces of toast launched from the toaster and onto the plates while he grooved. He then flips some eggs on the frying pan and serves them on dishes.]
Jon Arbuckle: Good morning, boys!
[He brought them toast and eggs with ketchup on them.]
Garfield: Am I supposed to eat those?
Jon Arbuckle: Come on! Cheer up.
Garfield: Jon, it's morning. Winning the lottery wouldn't cheer me up. 
Jon Arbuckle: Get with the program, big guy. Tomorrow night's the big talent show. 
Garfield: I know.
Jon Arbuckle: It’s Fun Fest.
Garfield: I know.
[He wraps the newspaper in a roll and throws it away, making it turn off the radio.]
Jon Arbuckle: All right, Mr. Grumpy. Bet you can't guess what I'm going to do for Fun Fest this year.
Garfield: That same dance routine you've been doing since 1978? 
Jon Arbuckle: The same dance routine I've been doing since 1978, but this year, I feel it, Garfield, this is my year.
Garfield: Jon, that might have had a good chance of winning if it weren't for the whole... disco is dead thing. (he and Odie snicker)
Jon Arbuckle: Okay, laugh, you guys. At least I'm putting some effort into it, as opposed to someone I know.
Garfield: Relax. Who wins every year? Let's see. I do. Arlene and I will knock 'em dead with our stand-up routine.
Jon Arbuckle: You know what? You should forget the stand-up and do a dance with Arlene? She’s wanted to do that for years.
Garfield: Jon, read my lips. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, okay? 
Jon Arbuckle: Okay. What are you doing this year, Odie?
[Odie got off his chair, left the room, returned in a black suit, and put flour on his entire face.]
Odie: Ta-da!
[Then, he used ketchup to put marks on his face and got out of the dining room. He reappears as a mime while dancing like Michael Jackson. Next, the mime dog is doing the robot.]
Jon Arbuckle: (applauds) Alright! Very good, Odie! What do you think, Garfield?
Garfield: I think it's embarrassing enough that I live with a dog. Now I'm living with a mime dog.
[Later, they got into Jon’s car and they drove off. On the way, they stop by to pick up Arlene and Nermal.]
Jon Arbuckle: Good morning, guys.
Arlene and Nermal: Good morning.
Jon Arbuckle: Big day tomorrow.
Nermal: Oh, yeah! Fun Fest!
Jon Arbuckle: What are you going to do for your talent this year, Nermal? 
Nermal: I am so glad you asked.
Garfield: Oh, boy.
Nermal: Air guitar solo! (performs an air guitar solo) Fun Fest! Fun Fest! Nermal's the best! Number one!
Garfield: Are we there yet? 
[A cartoon superhero flew by, rocking out to Nermal’s air guitar solo.]
Nermal: (performs an air guitar solo) Fun Fest! Fun Fest! I’m gonna be number one best! Number one!
[He wasn’t looking, however, as he then hit a pole. As he walks away, the pole falls on him.]
Garfield: You gotta get by Arlene and Me first, pal. Right, Arlene? 
Arlene: Yeah, which reminds me, I was thinking that maybe... 
Garfield: Not to worry. I have our routine all figured out. I'll run you through it when we get to the studio.
Nermal: Hey, why can't I ever get to be in a routine with you guys? 
Garfield: Well, Nermal, how do I put this nicely? You suck.
Nermal: I do not suck.
Garfield: Like a vacuum cleaner. 
Nermal: Hey!
Garfield: You're too young and too short to perform with pros like us. 
Nermal: Am not!
Garfield: You're so short, you could pose for trophies. 
Nermal: Awww.
Jon Arbuckle: Boys!
Arlene: Garfield, I'd really like to do that dance number this year. 
Garfield: Come on, Arlene, why mess with a good thing? Comedy kills. 
Arlene: For once, why can't we do something I wanna do? I mean, it's not like I'm asking you to bring me a bouquet of roses.
Garfield: Now that would be pushing it.
Arlene: You totally take me for granted.
Garfield: That's what the marble statue said to the art dealer. "Don't take me for granite."
Nermal: That's your killer comedy? You are so going down this year, fatso.
Garfield: Pipsqueak.
Nermal: Fatso.
Garfield: Pipsqueak.
Nermal: Fatso.
Jon Arbuckle: Are we there yet?
[Soon, they arrived at the studio. Jeff the guard was seen practicing his talent in the station.]
Jeff: (singing) I can just see my name in lights!
Jon Arbuckle: Hey, Jeff.
Jeff: Morning, Jon. 
[The gate was open, and they had reached the studio.]
Jeff: (singing) Jeff, the entertainer of the year!
[They went inside the studio cafeteria, where they saw every other cartoon character practicing for tomorrow night.]
Jon Arbuckle: Good morning, Billy Bear!
Billy Bear: That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.
Jon Arbuckle: Good morning, Randy Rabbit! How are you today?
Randy Rabbit: Fantastic and amazing! Watch this.
[He grabs his magic hat and pulls a rabbit puppet out of it.]
Randy Rabbit: (throwing his voice) Hi, Jon. How are you doing?
Jon Arbuckle: Nice try, Randy. I’ve seen that one before.
Randy Rabbit: I guess I'll have to work up another trick. 
Prop Boy: (pops out of the hat) What if we use a groundhog instead of a rabbit? 
Both: Hmm.
[Garfield went over to get some lunch.]
Garfield: Zelda, Zelda, Zelda. I swear. Are those stars I see in your eyes?
Zelda: What are you talking about?
[Zelda poured coffee in Garfield’s cup.]
Garfield: Why, about Fun Fest, of course. You’re entertaining us tomorrow, aren’t you?
Zelda: I’ll think about it.
Garfield: Well, don't disappoint your fans, okay? 
[As soon as the cat leaves, she starts juggling various objects.]
Old Man: Hey, Zelda, what are you...
[He was then swept up in the juggling act.]
Old Man: Whoa!
[Soon, the director and Betty arrived in the cafeteria.]
Charles: Attenzione, attenzione, people.
[Nobody paid any attention to him.]
Director: Betty.
Betty: SHUT UP!!!!
[The room went silent from her yelling.] 
Charles: Good morning, people. Before we do our comic strips today, we are all going to rehearse for tomorrow's Fun Fest. 
[Everyone cheered.]
Charles: Now, if you would please proceed to the auditorium in a quiet and orderly...
[Everyone ran over Charles like a pack of stampeding wildebeest.]
Betty: Oh, Charles.
[Everybody took their seats in the auditorium while Garfield entered the room where Eli was working.]
Garfield: Hey, Eli. 
Eli: Hey, Garfield. Ready for another Fun Fest?
Garfield: I’m ready to win another Fun Fest.
Eli: I heard a rumor about a new strip, and this new guy is supposed to be some tough competition.
Garfield: Nothing can knock me off the top spot.
Eli: You might wanna keep that ego in check. (sees Garfield leaving) Uh... Buddy?
[The director got onstage.]
Charles: Welcome to the dress rehearsal for the 30th annual Fun Fest, where the act that's the most fun, wins! As you know, tomorrow's talent show will be judged, and the winner's comic strip will be placed in the coveted top position on the comics page. The Garfield comic strip has enjoyed quite a long run on top, but will it prevail again?
Garfield: You bet your bippy, Monocle Boy. 
[Everyone laughed while Arlene rolled her eyes and sighed.]
Charles: Before we start rehearsal, allow me to introduce this year's Fun Fest judges. First, my assistant director, Betty. 
[Everyone applauds Betty.]
Charles: From the Life Stinks comic strip, we have Bonita Stegman.
[Everyone applauds for Bonita, though Walter was in dismay.]
Walter: I thought we were going to do something together in the show this year, Bonita. 
Bonita: That would be beneath me, Walter.
Walter: Yes, dear.
Charles: Next, we have Billy Bear's wife, Bonnie Bear. 
[Sitting next to Billy Bear was Bonnie Bear, who was enjoying the applause.]
Billy Bear: You know who to vote for, don't you, Bonnie? 
Bonnie Bear: Don't ask me to play favorites, Billy. I take my duties as judge seriously. 
Billy Bear: What if I were to, say, do the dishes for a week? 
Bonnie Bear: Are you bribing a judge, Mr. Bear? 
Billy Bear: No, sir. Ma'am. I gotta go polish my nose now. (exits the scene)
Bonnie Bear: You better polish your act if you want my vote. 
Charles: And now, some opening remarks from this year's master of ceremonies and the perennial winner of Fun Fest, please welcome Garfield.
[Garfield comes onstage as the crowd applauses.]
Garfield: Thank you, Charles. It's so great to be hosting Fun Fest again. And, to be honest, it's so great to be winning Fun Fest again. 
[A few of the members jeered.]
Garfield: No, but seriously. This year, I'm so confident of victory, I'm gonna tell you my secret for success.
Billy Bear: You bribe the judges.
Garfield: No.
Randy Rabbit: Your mother counts the votes.
Garfield: No, it's not that easy. In order to be a great comedian, you have to first be a great dramatic actor.
Nermal: (not believing it one bit) Sure, fatso.
Garfield: Let me demonstrate. Of course, I'll need my lovely assistant.
[Arlene walks over to Garfield, uninterested.]
Garfield: Arlene and I will do our winning routine from last year, where I perform all the great scenes from all the great movies in 30 seconds.
[The set became a 007-barrel POV.]
Garfield: Bond, James Bond. (fires a cork from his toy gun)
[The set then turned into a ‘30s background with a door.]
Garfield: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a darn. (exits the door with Arlene)
[Now, it’s a cafe background.]
Garfield: Here’s looking at you, kid.
[The set turned into a jungle, starring Garfield and Arlene as Tarzan and Jane.]
Garfield: Me, Tarzan. You, Jane.
[And then into a laboratory, with Arlene as the monster and Garfield as Frankenstein.]
Garfield: It’s alive! It’s alive!
[We move to a boxing ring.]
Garfield: (pretending to be in pain) Adrian!
[Now, it’s a technicolor fantasy world.]
Garfield: Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.
[Next is a Disney film, where Garfield was slurping spaghetti towards Arlene.]
Garfield: Mmm.
[And finally, he ends it with the scene from Titanic.]
Garfield: I’m the king of the world!
[The audience cheers. Garfield is enjoying it, but not Arlene.]
Garfield: Yeah, thank you, thank you. (he and Arlene leave the stage)
Charles: All right, people, work with me, and I'll work with you. Can we have the first act up for rehearsal, please?
[While the two clown brothers juggled chihuahuas, Nermal noticed Arlene was not happy.]
Arlene: (Prop Boy comes up to her) Hi.
Prop Boy: Hey. (gives her a bag) There you go, Arlene.
Arlene: Thanks.
[Soon, Garfield and Arlene were in a room.]
Garfield: Okay, here's what we're going to do this year. Here are your setup lines, and we walk out together, and you say… 
Arlene: "Gee, Garfield and I feel like mummies tonight." 
Garfield: And then I say, "Yeah, pressed for time." Laughter, laughter, laughter. And then you say something like, "Oh, Garfield, where do you come up with that stuff?" And then I say...
Arlene: Garfield, I really had my heart set on doing that dance number this year. 
Garfield: Arlene, we win with this stuff. Doing something else would be heresy. 
Arlene: Some things are more important than winning, Garfield. 
Garfield: I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.
Arlene: Come on, Garfield, let's do something I wanna do this year. Do it for me.
[A few cartoon stars entered the room.]
Walter: Oh, come on.
Randy Rabbit: That was so good.
Garfield: Here we go again. What dance did you have in mind, Arlene?
Arlene: The tango. Garfield, it would be so exciting, so romantic. And you can wear this outfit. (gets out the tango outfit from the bag)
Garfield: Say what?
Arlene: This outfit, you can't do the tango without the proper costume. 
Garfield: Uh...
[Garfield looks over at Billy, Randy, and Walter, who were about to burst with laughter.]
Billy Bear: Put it on.
[He growls at them and they shut the door to avoid his anger.]
Garfield: No way, Arlene, I can’t go there.
Arlene: But you promised we'd do the dance this year. 
Garfield: I said I promised I'd think about it. My comedy routine is a guaranteed winner. If you really wanna do the tango, you'll have to find yourself another partner.
Arlene: But who?
[Just then, a shadowy figure entered the room in a bright light.]
???: I will dance with you.
Arlene: Who is that? 
[It was a tall charming Spanish cat.]
???: Allow me to introduce myself. I am... (purrs) Ramone. (kisses Arlene’s hand)
Garfield: I smell a... (purrs) rat.
Arlene: Garfield, are you sure you don't wanna dance with me? 
Garfield: Yeah, I’m sure. You go ahead and dance with Raymond there.
Ramone: Ramone.
Garfield: Whatever. I’ll work up a solo act.
Arlene: Good luck.
Garfield: Good luck to you, too.
[He leaves the room and enters Eli’s workstation.]
Garfield: You got room for both of us up here?
Eli: Both of you?
Garfield: Me and my ego!
Eli: Sure.
Garfield: Well, I met the new shooter. His name's Ramone. 
Eli: Looks like Arlene met him, too.
[Onstage, Arlene was doing the tango with her new partner, Ramone. They were dancing together in harmony.]
Eli: Wow! Look at that guy move!
Garfield: He’s not so good.
[The women were in awe with Ramone as he danced with Arlene.]
Betty: Oh, baby.
Bonnie Bear: You said it, girl.
Bonita: My sentiments exactly.
Bonnie Bear: But where is Garfield?
[The two finished their dance and received applause. They both bowed to the audience.]
Arlene: Thank you.
[Back on the workstation…]
Eli: I heard his new strip's called Ramone Rough Rider. 
Garfield: The only thing rough about him is that cheesy accent. He's nothing but a big phony.
Charles: Thank you, Arlene and Ramone. Very nice indeed, charming. All right, next to rehearse is Garfield.
Garfield: Showtime.
Eli: You've never done this without Arlene before. 
Garfield: (as he leaves) I’ll be fine. Just watch.
Eli: Well, good luck.
[In the auditorium, the director is wondering where Garfield is.]
Charles: Where is Garfield?
Garfield: Here I am.
Charles: And what are you calling this routine? 
Garfield: “Whatever It Takes.”
Charles: Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield the cat doing "Whatever it Takes." 
Garfield: (as the audience applauds) Thank you, thank you. 
[He got offstage and dragged Odie with him onstage.]
Garfield: (whispers) Alright, let’s go.
[Odie speaks, although it is a bit hard to make out the words.]
Garfield: You're right, Odie. We sure do feel like mummies tonight. Pressed for time.
[Nobody was laughing.]
Ramone: This humor is, how do you say… Stale? Don't you agree, Arlene?
Garfield: All right, Raymond, I guess I'll have to take it up a notch. And moving on. (kicks Odie off the stage and calls out to Prop Boy) Prop boy, prop boy.
[He whispers into Prop Boy’s ear and the worker brings him a box of stuff. The cat then put on a pair of pop-out eyeglasses.]
Garfield: Seriously, though. I met this cat who was really short. How short was he?
Ramone: He was so short he could pose for trophies? 
[Everyone laughed at Ramone’s joke, while the eyes popped out of Garfield’s glasses.]
Garfield: Yes, something like that. 
[He emerges onstage while he rolls on top of a ball, hula-hooping rings on his arms, and having a fake arrow on his head.]
Garfield: Hey, folks, what did the statue say to the art dealer? 
Ramone: Don't take me for granite.
[Everyone laughed again. Garfield was shocked that this new cat knows the punchline.]
Ramone: It is so sad to see someone past his prime struggle so. It is time for a new cat in town.
Garfield: (while balancing plates) I’m strictly a feline, feline.
[Arlene just shook her head.]
Ramone: Perhaps, after I have won Fun Fest, I will teach each of you the tango. The dance of romance.
[Garfield was deflated, just as much as the ball he was standing on. He walks offstage.]
Charles: Well, that was interesting.
[Garfield sadly went to Eli’s workstation.]
Eli: What was that? 
Garfield: I bombed. I never bomb.
Eli: Well, what do you expect? Without Arlene, you had to make up a whole new routine on the fly. It'll take some time. 
Garfield: But I don't have time. Fun Fest is tomorrow night. I've got to get funny, fast.
Eli: I suggest you work on your routine, 'cause there isn't any magic potion that's gonna make you funny again.
Garfield: Except Freddy's pond water. 
Eli: What?
Garfield: Oh, nothing. Just a fairy tale I read.
Charles: Great work, people. That's a wrap until tomorrow. 
Ramone: It was so wonderful dancing with you today, Arlene. I feel like the world is my oyster, and you are my pearl. Speaking of pearl, perhaps you and I could maybe make some sweet ocean music… Thank you so much.
[Garfield looked at their conversation with a depressed look. That night, before bed, he looks at the book he read in the morning. He remembers about that bear cub drinking the funny water, betting that he could be funny once he finds the magic pond. The next morning, as Garfield was sleeping, Odie snuck into his room as a mime.]
Garfield: (while sleeping) Oh, little magic pond. Just one sip. I'll be funny again. Oh, yeah.
[The dog mimics the ringing of an alarm clock and Garfield wakes up.]
Garfield: What? Good morning, Odie. 
[Odie mimics an alarm clock again.]
Garfield: I mean, good morning, alarm clock. What’s the rush?
[Odie juggles some apples before eating them, getting a match on his tongue, lights it up, blows the fire on Garfield’s face, squirts water on the cat with a fake flower, and blows the trumpet.]
Odie: Ta-da!
Garfield: I know, I know, tonight's the big night. Fun Fest. But the only way for me to win tonight is to come up with a funny act, and fast. 
Odie: Yeah!
Garfield: I keep reading this storybook, hoping there's an answer in here somewhere.
Jon Arbuckle: (offscreen) Boys, breakfast!
Garfield and Odie: Huh?
Garfield: Or maybe the answer’s in my oatmeal. Let’s eat.
[As he leaves, he drops the book, revealing something at the corner of a page. Odie stops then turns and sees the page. He went near it and kneels down to pick it up. It was an envelope. His eyes were widened. In the kitchen…]
Jon Arbuckle: Good morning, Odie. Looking good. Did you know my costume is double knit? I kind of like it.
Garfield: That's because you're "kind of geeky."
[Odie comes in.]
Garfield: Now what?
[He shows Garfield the envelope]
Garfield: Oh, I get it, you're a mime mailman, and you're pretending to deliver a letter.
[Odie shakes his head.]
Garfield: Odie, please. I'm trying to eat. We'll play your game after breakfast, okay?
[Odie groaned. Later, as they were in Jon’s car, they saw Ramone’s car go past them.]
Ramone: Make way, you slow pokes.
[He parked near Arlene, who was waiting. The others were surprised, mostly Garfield. She enters the car with Ramone.]
Ramone: Eat my bubbles.
[He drives off. Garfield groans. Later, at the studio cafeteria, Odie tries to tell Garfield about the envelope.]
Garfield: Stop! Enough, Odie.
[The dog tries to get the cat's attention.]
Garfield: Not now, Odie. I have to find out what Charles is shooting for Ramone's strip.
[He prepares to leave, but Odie blocks his path.]
Garfield: All right, all right, you want me to open this.
Odie: Duh!
Garfield: This is very old. Where did you find it? 
[Odie mimics turning the pages of the storybook.]
Garfield: Whoa! Why didn’t you tell me this before?
[Odie groans in annoyance. Garfield opens up the envelope and their eyes widen in surprise.]
Garfield: Whoa!
[At the studio auditorium…]
Ramone: Nonsense. I am beautiful from all angles. 
Charles: Fine.
Ramone: Arlene, my precious flower. I hope you had time to think about what I asked you in the car this morning. Please, say you will star in my strip today.
Arlene: Gee, I don’t know, Ramone.
Ramone: Of all the lovely ladies here, you are the most ravishing beauty to ever grace my presence.
[He hands her a bouquet of roses.]
Arlene: Oh, my! How did you know these were my favorites?
Ramone: Ramone always knows what the pretty ladies like. Please, say that you will be my damsel.
[Arlene thinks for a moment and sighs. Meanwhile, Garfield and Odie are examining the map.]
Garfield: This is a map to Freddy Frog's magic pond. All we have to do is follow the directions to the mythical land, through the mystical forest, to the magic pond where I drink the funny water, and I get funny in time for the show tonight.
[Odie barks in skepticism.]
Garfield: Yeah. It's a little hard to believe, isn't it? So much for magic maps. I guess I'll have to rely on my good looks for a victory tonight. Who needs a magic pond, anyway?
[He opens the door.]
Charles: Alright, let’s shoot, people.
Garfield: Huh?
Charles: And, action!
[Garfield walks in as Ramone and Arlene were on a horse in a medieval setting, with the former about to kiss the latter. The picture was taken for the panel. Garfield was upset with Ramone.]
Garfield: I need that magic pond!
[Arlene sees Garfield and Odie leaving while Ramone snickers. Outside, Garfield checks the map.]
Garfield: Man, this thing would be a lot easier to follow if there was a yellow brick road. (sighs)
Jeff: (singing) I’m gonna be the new Fun Fest king! (speaks) Kick, two, three, four.
[And so, they left for the journey. Arlene and Little Red goes out to see Garfield, but it was too late. He was long gone by now. Moments later, Garfield and Odie are looking at the map.]
Garfield: Wow. This is a lot further than it looks on the map. Thee towne is here, and the mythical land is here. It's only this far on the map.
[They set off, walking from place to place. They braved scorching deserts, stormy weather, and harsh colds until a snowy cliff broke off and they fell. They rolled into a snowball, crushing a butterfly and landing in the green meadows.]
Garfield: Yes! I think we're on the right path, Odie. That appears to be the mystical forest.
[There was a giant X above the forest and they ran to the location.] 
Garfield and Odie: Wow.
Garfield: Hey, look.
[They see a tree entrance in the distance. As they walked toward it, a furry creature was looking at them through a telescope. It scurries through the trees like a shadow. The two approached the tree, where a sign hung over it. It said, ‘Show time in 2 minutes.’]
Garfield: What the heck is this?
Odie: I don’t know.
[A hand switched the sign to say ‘Show time in 1 minute.’]
Garfield: We don't have time for this nonsense. It's only hours till Fun Fest. Let's go.
[Popping out of the tree hole was a squirrel in a ranger cap.]
Squirrel: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stand back there, sir.
Garfield: Pardon?
Squirrel: You may not enter the mystical forest until you've seen the informational presentation. So keep your pants on, sir. The presentation will commence in a few seconds.
Garfield: And you would be?
[The squirrel pops his head out of the curtains.]
Squirrel: The mystical forest ranger, Officer Stanislavsky. Please be seated, sirs.
[They both sit down on the blue bench. The squirrel opens the curtains.]
Stanislavsky: Welcome. Beware, all ye who dare to enter the mystical forest. (a cardboard bear comes down) Beware the bear with the sinister smile. (gets frightened a bit) I sometimes scare myself.
Garfield: May we go through now?
Stanislavsky: Silence. I'm almost finished. (a cardboard two-headed alligator drops down) And beware the alligators at the stream crossing. They would really like to snack on your bones.
Garfield: Look, pal. I really don't have time for this. Maybe you can tell us which way to the magic pond with the funny water.
Stanislavsky: Of course. The shortcut is through one of those curtains. 
[He opens the blue curtain to reveal two pink curtains.]
Garfield: Just tell me which one's the shortcut, okay? 
Stanislavsky: First, you must answer one question honestly. Tell me about yourself. Are you a solo act, or do you rely on others?
Garfield: I'm strictly solo, pal. I don't need anyone's help. 
Stanislavsky: Hmm. Very well, sir. (opens the curtain on the left) Right this way.
Garfield: Finally. 
[They enter through the curtain.]
Garfield: What a goofball that guy was.
[As they walk, they notice something a bit off.]
Garfield: Hey, wait a minute.
[They realize they were back at the welcome center.]
Stanislavsky: Hello!
Garfield: Hey, what kind of shortcut was that?
Stanislavsky: Perhaps you haven’t learned your lesson.
Garfield: And perhaps I have. I'm taking curtain number two. 
[He walks through the other curtain, only to return to the visitor’s center.]
Garfield: Ha-ha, Mr. Wise Squirrel. Okay, what do I do? 
Stanislavsky: Tell me about yourself. Are you a solo act, or do you rely on others?
Garfield: (sighs) I need all the help I can get.
Stanislavsky: Yes. (opens the curtain on the right) Right this way.
Garfield: This is the right path?
Stanislavsky: You always take the right path when you choose to be honest with your audience. 
[They walk through the curtain.]
Stanislavsky: And please enjoy your stay.
Garfield: Thanks.
[And so, they continue their journey. While walking, they noticed some dancing flowers with big smiles on their faces. Soon, they came across a fork in the road.]
Garfield and Odie: Wow.
Garfield: This isn't getting any easier. (checks the map) The map doesn't show a fork in the path, just this bear. 
[He sets down the map, only to see a big bear in front of him. They were caught off-guard by this sudden appearance.]
Garfield: (checks the bear on the map) It's only this big on the map.
[They become scared by the bear until he gets out a bunch of cards.]
Bear: Pick a card, any card.
Garfield: You’re not gonna eat us?
Bear: Not if you pick a card.
Garfield: Okay. (picks a card)
Bear: What card did you select, sir?
Garfield: (shows the card to the bear) The seven of diamonds.
Bear: You, sir, are absolutely correct. Give it up for the bear. Go, bear! Go, bear! How does he do it? It’s a gift.
Garfield: Amazing.
Bear: Okay, okay, one more.
Garfield: Well, we’re kind of in a hurry here.
Bear: Look!
[He makes a fist and a V signal.]
Bear: Voila!
Garfield: I’ve never seen anything like it. Now, we really gotta go.
Bear: Just one more. I’m on a roll.
Momma: (offscreen) Junior!
[The bear, Junior, responds.]
Junior: Yes, momma?
[His mother comes out from the bushes.]
Momma: Come to dinner and let these nice ladies and gentlemen go on their way. 
Junior: Awww, Momma...
Momma: Come on, or your berries will get cold. (to the duo) You boys headed to the magic pond?
Garfield: How did you know?
Momma: Everybody who comes here wants to drink the funny water. If you ask me, people rely on that stuff too much. Being funny should come natural, like with my Junior here.
Garfield: Oh, he's something, all right, but not all of us can be as hilarious as Junior. So could you tell us the quickest way there?
Momma: Well, I suppose Junior could show you. (to Junior while grabbing his ear) And you come home, you hear?
Junior: Okay, Momma.
Garfield: So, Junior, do we go right or left? 
Junior: To get to the magic pond tonight, follow your heart, and you'll always be right.
Garfield: No, no, no. Don't do this to me, Junior. 
Junior: It's a riddle. 
Garfield: I hate riddles.
Junior: I love riddles.
Momma: (offscreen) Junior! Dinner!
Junior: Gotta go. Bye, guys. (leaves)
Garfield: Well, swell. Come on, Odie.
[They looked at the left and right signs.]
Garfield: To get to the magic pond tonight, follow your heart, and you'll always be right. I guess we go right.
Odie: Uh-uh.
Garfield: No?
[Odie tells Garfield that hearts inside the body are on the left, which is the direction they should take.]
Garfield: You're saying that since our hearts are on the left side of our bodies, then if we follow our hearts, we must turn left. You really think it's that simple? 
[Odie nods in confirmation.]
Garfield: Okay. Let's hope this is quicker than that crazy squirrel and his curtains.
[As the two pets went left, Junior saw this and celebrated to himself. Meanwhile at the comic studio, the auditorium was being set up for Fun Fest. Seats were formed and the stage turned into that of an elaborate setting out of a play.]
Charles: Where is Garfield?
Arlene: I’m not sure.
Charles: Well, I’m making up the list of acts, and…
Arlene: Just schedule him for the end. I'm sure he'll be here in time. 
Charles: But he's supposed to be the master of ceremonies. We start in an hour. Who are we going to get to host?
Ramone: I could not help but overhear. (tips his hat) I would be honored to be master of the ceremony.
[Back in the woods, Garfield and Odie come across some stepping stones in a river.]
Garfield: Well, let’s go.
[They jump from stone to stone until they land on a few that moved.]
Garfield: Odie, do rocks move?
Odie: I don't know.
[He hops on the step and it bounces.]
Garfield: Are rocks bouncy?
Odie: Hmm... no.
[When he rubs his foot on it, he hears giggling.]
Garfield: Do rocks giggle when you tickle them?
Odie: Uh oh.
[The odd steps are revealed to be blue painted spots on the backs of two alligators. They get back on land.]
Garfield: Now we'll never make it to the magic pond and back in time for Fun Fest. We're no match for alligators, Odie.
[They start to leave when they hear a voice.]
???: You sure about that?
[They look up and saw two birds. They are Leonard and Roger.]
Leonard: There is a way to get by the alligators, you know.
Garfield: Are you serious?
Roger: Us, serious?
[The two birds laughed in response and stopped.]
Leonard: Yes, we are very serious.
Garfield: So what do we have to do?
Roger: Well, not many people know this, but alligators just love to laugh. 
Leonard: So make them laugh, and while they're distracted laughing, you can cross the creek.
Garfield: But what if they stop laughing before we get all the way across?
[The birds looked at each other and went back to Garfield.]
Roger: Aren’t we the poopy head!
Leonard: What Roger is saying is that a defeatist attitude can be pervasive in its negative impact on the outcome of one's mission.
Roger: Poopy, poopy, poopy head!
Leonard: And he’s also saying you’re a poopy head.
Garfield: I get the picture. Come on, guys. Let’s entertain the troops.
[The cat goes over to the two gators, who were perching on rocks.]
Garfield: Thank you, thank you! Hey, guys, it's great to be back here in the mystical forest, but you wouldn't believe what happened to me on the way here. I was mugged. Yeah, this guy walked up to me and says, "Your money or your nine lives." 
[The gators yawned.]
Garfield: See, because cats have nine lives. 
[They don’t get it.]
Garfield: It's tough being a cat. You wouldn't believe what a six-pack of mice cost these days. 
[The only sound they could hear is crickets chirping.]
Garfield: They’re not laughing.
Roger: You're not funny. That stuff might work for cats, but in case you haven't noticed, these aren't cats!
Leonard: What Roger is saying is that alligator humor is essentially kinetic in nature.
Roger: Yeah! Do stupid stuff.
Garfield: Stupid stuff?
Odie: (gives Garfield the map) Allow me.
[The dog goes over to the gators and starts doing stupid stuff, like squirming on the ground and bouncing on his head until he hits a rock. The reptiles then start laughing.]
Leonard: You see? Play to your audience, even if it means being foolish.
Garfield: I gotta lower my standards.
[A dizzy Odie then hits a tree and faints, prompting more laughter from the gators.]
Garfield: Good job, Odie. Let’s go.
[They hop from stone to stone while the alligators were laughing.]
Garfield: Thanks for the help.
Roger: Anytime. What do you know?
Leonard: Yeah! Who'd have thought you could actually make alligators laugh?
Roger: Who'da thunk?
[Back at the comic studio, the seats in the auditorium were being filled. The director watched from behind the curtain.]
Charles: We have to start. We can’t wait for Garfield anymore.
[Outside, Arlene could only wait as everyone was entering the studio. She then went inside the building with a sad look on her face. Back in the forest, Garfield and Odie saw the magic pond in the distance.]
Garfield: It really exists, Odie. The magic pond filled with funny water. Let’s do this!
[They start running through the woods.]
Garfield: Oh, boy! Come on, Odie! 
[Suddenly, he trips on a rope, which pulls the lever. This causes a gate to appear, complete with a post and several stop signs.]
Garfield: I knew this wasn't gonna be easy. (knocks on the gate) Hello! Anybody home?
[A head popped out from the guard post. He had a top hat and a big mustache.]
Gate Guard: Hold your horses.
[He comes to them in an incredibly tall unicycle.]
Garfield: Whoa.
[He lowers the seat, so he can see the duo.
Gate Guard: State your business.
Garfield: I came to drink the funny water.
Gate Guard: Who doesn’t? And why do you want to drink the funny water?
Garfield: Because I’m not funny anymore.
Gate Guard: I’ll be the judge of that. Tell me a joke.
Garfield: How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? 
Gate Guard: One! If he hops to it. You do impressions?
Garfield: Of course. Any requests?
Gate Guard: Do a cat.
Garfield: (does a poor impression of a cat) Meow.
Gate Guard: I’m not convinced.
Garfield: Are you quite through?
Gate Guard: Yep! You’re not funny, alright.
Garfield: What did I tell you?
Gate Guard: A piece of advice.
Garfield: What’s that?
Gate Guard: Drink a lot of funny water. (chuckles)
Garfield: Okay.
Gate Guard: They may have to drain the pond for you. (laughs) You may proceed.
[He goes to his post, but the gate doesn’t rise.]
Garfield: Are you gonna raise the gate?
Gate Guard: Do I look like Arnold Schwarzenhagen? Go under!
[Garfield and Odie got down on the ground and crawled under the gate. Garfield then runs for the lake.]
Garfield: Come on, Odie!
Gate Guard: (to Odie) Your friend is a poopy head. (he and Odie chuckle)
[As Odie rejoined Garfield, he reached the pond. Garfield dives into the water. He swims in it and drinks some water. Unknown to the two, a mysterious figure is watching from behind the grass.]
???: Hmm...
[At Fun Fest, Eli starts up the show.]
Eli: It’s showtime.
[He presses the showtime button and the curtains closed. Living instruments then played lively music as the director emerged.]
Charles: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Fun Fest. Our master of ceremonies, Garfield, has been detained. (the audience murmurs) Perhaps he'll drop in later, so please welcome our guest MC, Ramone!
[Ramone arrives in the spotlight to thunderous applause.]
Ramone: Good evening, all you beautiful people. My name is Ramone. Ever since I was a little kitten,it was my dream to one day leave my poverty-stricken litter box and perform for a wonderful audience such as you! (the lady judges swoon) Welcome to my show. I love you, all of you!
[Everyone cheers as the show begins. Back at the forest, the figure appears from the grass. He looks like an elderly frog.]
Frog: Ah. You appear to be thirsty, my young friend.
Garfield: Huh? No, I'm just here for the funny water, Pops. I'll be out of here in a minute.
Frog: Ah, but only the magic pond holds funny water.
Garfield: So this ain’t the magic pond?
Frog: This so ain't the magic pond. We moved it years ago. No, this is a sludge pit, fed by a drainage ditch from Grin City.
[Horrified, the cat got out of the water and spits out the nasty stuff.]
Frog: Nice spit take.
[He winds up the engine of his lilypad boat while imitating the motor sounds. He goes over to them.]
Garfield: So where’s the magic pond?
Frog: Not so fast, impatient one. Why do you wish to partake of the funny water?
Garfield: I've been getting these pop quizzes ever since I got to this place. Who do you people think you are, anyway?
Frog: I can't speak for the others, but I think I'm Freddy Frog. 
[Garfield and Odie are surprised.]
Garfield: You! You're for real! I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. You look so different from...
Freddy Frog: From a storybook, I know, yes. That was many years ago before I had to start wearing muumuus. 
Garfield: Well, it's an honor meeting you, Freddy. Now if you'll just direct me to the magic pond, I'll have a drink and be on my way.
Freddy Frog: I’m afraid it’s not quite as simple as that.
Garfield: Yeah, nothing is.
Freddy Frog: You must first attain a higher level of humorous enlightenment before drinking the water.
Garfield: Can I get enlightened before Fun Fest? I'm in a rush here, pal. 
Freddy Frog: Then, let’s begin. Ah. (picks up a stick) What is this, round one?
Garfield: It's a stick. And what's with the "round one" remark? 
Freddy Frog: Oh, I always give nicknames to my students. Now, this is much more than a stick, furball! (serves it like a waiter) Who ordered the frozen snake? (talks to it while it rests on a hospital bed) How long have you been on this diet, sir? (has the stick on his neck) Can you get this splinter out of my neck? (finished up pretending) Now, you do something with the stick.
Garfield: I can’t.
Freddy Frog: And why not?
Garfield: Because you used up all the good stuff.
[The frog groaned and offered the stick to Odie. The dog throws it like a pole and runs to it. It “lands” on his chest and he clutches in pain. Then, he uses it as if he was a composer, followed by pretending he was Zorro using a sword. He walked on it like it was a tightrope and used it like a microphone as he sang like Elvis, complete with hairdo. The gang applauds him for his demonstration.]
Freddy Frog: There you go. That’s what I’m talking about.
Odie: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Garfield: (sighs) Mimes aren’t supposed to talk. (to Freddy Frog) Well, I'm sorry, but I don't do stick shtick. What else you got? 
Freddy Frog: Boot camp, big boy!
[The scene fades to the elderly frog teaching Garfield about slipping on a banana peel and landing on his back. Garfield slipped on a peel, but landed on his head. Next, he showed the cat how to hit his face when stepping on a rake. When the cat stepped on the pointy rake, he clutched his foot in pain, stepped on the garden tool, and hit his back on it. Freddy then teaches him about the whoopie cushion. Garfield sits on it and it toots. Next was a seesaw, where one person is launched when another steps on the end of the plank. With the feline on one side, Odie hopped on another, but due to the cat’s weight, he was launched instead. However, as Garfield prepares to leave, the dog comes back down and steps on the plank, launching the cat a little. He is then seen getting pied over and over. Later, he goes to see the frog.]
Garfield: This is supposed to make me funny?
Freddy Frog: Not until you can snatch this pebble from my hand, grass whopper. (holds a pebble on the palm of his hand)
[As the cat grabs it, he gets an electric shock. Turns out, the pebble is actually a joy buzzer.]
Freddy Frog: I never get tired of that one.
Garfield: Hilarious.
Freddy Frog: A great Zen master once said, or was it W.C. Fields? At any rate, "Comedy is tragedy happening to someone else."
Garfield: Well, I don’t do tragedy.
Freddy Frog: In that case, what you need is more of this. (puts his finger on Garfield’s chest)
Garfield: More of what?
[His finger flicks Garfield on the nose.]
Freddy Frog: More humility, oh rotund one.
Garfield: (clutching his nose) Ha ha.
Freddy Frog: It's only when one humbles himself before an audience that he's able to ascend to a higher plane of humorous enlightenment. Remember, it's about the audience, not you. Humor is in the ear of the beholder.
Garfield: Do all you people talk gibberish out here?
Freddy Frog: You haven’t been listening, have you?
Garfield: What do you mean?
Freddy Frog: Every step along your journey, there has been a lesson to be learned. If you were listening...
Garfield: Look, Freddy, it's been nice meeting you and all, but I am way behind schedule here.
Freddy Frog: Follow me, oh one who is great of girth.
[Odie giggled at such a remark, but Garfield growled at him to stop. So, he and Odie followed the frog to a bridge. Midway, Freddy pulls down a lever and the ropes close on Garfield.]
Garfield: Hey! Hey! What’s going on here?
Freddy Frog: A test in humility that even one such as yourself will understand. You're on the Bridge Over Truthful Waters. Tell the truth, and you will pass unharmed.
Garfield: And just what is that supposed to mean?
Freddy Frog: How would you describe your body?
Garfield: I have kind of a normal body, maybe a little on the stout side.
[The frog pushes the lever to the right and the bridge swings over, dousing Garfield in water.]
Garfield: Okay, okay, I admit it. I’m chubby.
[The bridge turns over again.]
Garfield: I’m fat. Okay, I’m fat.
Freddy Frog: How fat are you?
Garfield: Oh, come on!
Freddy Frog: (about to pull the lever) Uh-uh.
Garfield: Okay, okay. I'm so fat, every time I go to the beach, the tide comes in.
Freddy Frog: Hmm.
Garfield: I'm so fat, I never knew that "I could eat a horse" was just an expression. I'm so fat, one time I got on a Ferris wheel and two guys on top starved to death.
[Freddy pushed the lever up, freeing Garfield.]
Freddy Frog: Very well done. That was very funny.
Garfield: What’s so funny about being fat?
Freddy Frog: Self-deprecating humor is funny. If you share your humanity with your audience, they'll share their affection with you. Remember, it's better for someone to have laughed at your expense than never to have laughed at all.
Garfield: So what now?
Freddy Frog: So now give me a hug.
Garfield: A hug?
Freddy Frog: (hugs Garfield) Just do it, you big lug. I’m very proud of you. You’ve taken one step on a very long road.
Garfield: Is there gonna be a lot of this?
Freddy Frog: Just this once.
Garfield: Okay. (gets out of the hug) So where’s the funny water?
Freddy Frog: It is there.
[He points to a very tall mountain in the distance.]
Garfield: Is this another riddle?
Freddy Frog: No, seriously, it’s up there.
Garfield: Is nothing easy?
Freddy Frog: Nothing worth having.
Garfield: I reckon not. Well, thanks, old man. See you later! 
Odie: Bye.
Freddy Frog: Good luck to you, oh tabby for two. 
[Odie chuckled again while Garfield glared at him. The two continue their journey. At Fun Fest...]
Ramone: I hope you are all enjoying the show. And now, please welcome to the stage, Jeff, the dancing gate guard.
Jeff: (comes onstage and sings) I'm Jeff the dancing gate guard. I'm sure that you'll agree the way I dance and sing will make you want to vote for me.
[We then cut to Garfield and Odie climbing up the mountain. Well, more like climbing up by ladder. They were getting pretty exhausted as they climbed. Finally, they reached the top of the mountain.]
Garfield: (panting) Just one more.
[The top was a glorious place with a waterfall and a lake, flowing with crystal clear water. Freddy was waiting for them.]
Freddy Frog: Welcome, supersized one.
Garfield: How did you get up here?
Freddy Frog: I took the elevator.
[There was an elevator on the mountaintop.]
Garfield: You didn’t tell me there was an elevator.
Freddy Frog: You didn’t ask.
Garfield: What?!
Freddy Frog: Humor is all about questions, donut hopper. Why did the chicken cross the road? Hey, why the long face? Anyone here from Cleveland?
Garfield: May I drink the funny water now?
Freddy Frog: If you think you still need it.
Garfield: Still need it? Why do you think I came all this way? Not to drink it?
Freddy Frog: I think that everything you need is inside you.
Garfield: You guys and your riddles!
Freddy Frog: If you really think you need the funny water, then here.
[He holds out an empty flask.]
Garfield: Cool! (takes the flask) Thanks.
[He scoops up water from the lake.]
Garfield: Yes!
[He then takes a mighty sip of funny water.]
Garfield: Say, this stuff tastes a little funny. 
Freddy Frog: Funny! We get it. Very good.
Garfield: I think it’s starting to take effect already.
[He douses the funny water all over himself.]
Freddy Frog: You must understand that drinking the funny water alone will not fully prepare you for creating the kind of comedy you're capable of creating.
[The cat is seen swimming in the lake and barking like a seal. He then sees the sun setting.
Garfield: Oh, my gosh, Odie! We gotta go! Fun Fest is starting!
[Garfield get out of the water.]
Garfield: (gathers his stuff) Thanks for everything, Freddy, but we gotta run. Now! 
Freddy Frog: I don’t think you’re quite ready yet.
Garfield: I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Pops. Come on, Odie! 
Freddy Frog: One moment, my large charge.
Garfield and Odie: Huh?
Freddy Frog: If you really must leave, you'll need something that will assure you swift passage to the Fun Fest.
Garfield: What do you suppose it is, Odie?
Odie: I don’t know.
Garfield: Maybe it's a charm with magical flying powers. Or maybe it's a flying carpet, or a winged dragon that will fly us right to the studio, where we'll arrive to cheering throngs. Look!
[They saw roses on the ground. Garfield picks one up and smells it.]
Freddy Frog: (offscreen) Give me a hand with this, will you?
[They turned around and saw Freddy wheeling in a hang-glider.]
Garfield: We’re gonna die!
Freddy Frog: There you go! This hang glider will get you to the Fun Fest in a flash. 
Garfield: Uh, are you sure we won’t crash?
Freddy Frog: Every flight ends in a crash, my chubby child. Some are just a little worse than others.
Garfield: That's a comforting thought.
[They held onto the hang-glider.]
Freddy Frog: Well, off you go before you lose what little nerve you have. 
Garfield: Thanks for everything, Freddy. I’ll always be grateful.
Freddy Frog: I still don’t think you’re ready.
[The duo moved the hang-glider near the cliff, and Garfield looked down.]
Garfield: I think I would've rather taken my chances with the flying dragon. We're gonna push off on the count of three, okay?
Odie: Uh-uh.
Garfield: Why not?
[Odie refers to his fingers.]
Garfield: Oh, you can only count to two.
Odie: Yeah.
Garfield: Okay, Odie, on the count of two. One, two.
[They pushed the glider off, and they flew down rapidly.]
Garfield: Odie! Do you know how to fly this thing?
Odie: No.
Garfield: Oh, boy, are we stupid! Well, let's try something. 
[They steered the hang glider to the left and flew.]
Garfield: We’re gonna live!
Odie: Whoa!
[They moved the glider away from rocks and trees.]
Garfield: Oh, stomach, don’t fail me now.
[Soon, they flew above the trees.]
Garfield: I think we got it. All right.
[Leonard and Roger saw the flying pets.]
Leonard: So long! Goodbye!
Roger: Come back soon!
[They say goodbye to Junior and Momma below.]
Garfield: Bye-bye!
Junior: Ooh! Bye!
Momma: Bye!
[Stan popped out of a tree to bid farewell.]
Stanislavsky: See ya!
Garfield: Bye, Stan! Thanks for all the help.
[That night, at Fun Fest…]
Ramone: And now, ladies and gentlemen, a kitty who is almost as talented as me. Please welcome to the stage, Shecky.
[Shecky arrived onstage as the audience cheered.]
Shecky: Good evening, genties and ladlemen.
[Outside, we see Garfield and Odie flying over the cartoon town.]
Garfield: There it is, Odie! The studio!
[There were lights outside the studio.]
Odie: Wow.
Garfield: Are you ready to make a grand entrance?
Odie: Yeah, yeah.
Garfield: Any idea how to land this thing?
Odie: No, no.
Garfield: Then Let’s aim for something big like the street.
[They zoomed toward the street.]
Garfield: Left! Left!
[They turned left and flew down the street while avoiding cars.]
Garfield: Look out!
[They dodged an oncoming semi-truck, but they were heading for the gate.]
Garfield: Look out! Over the guard gate.
[They broke through the gate.]
Garfield: Through the guard gate. How about the parking lot? (they flew up) Or not.
[They flew like wild and were heading for the studio sign.]
Garfield: The studio! Let’s dot the I.
[The two flew towards the I and they hit the window. Luckily, it tipped over and they landed inside the attic.]
Garfield: So much for a grand entrance.
[They look through a window as they watch Fun Fest go underway.]
Shecky: For my first number, I'd like to sing something from my latest album. (singing) You only got me when you got me! You only squeeze me when you squeeze me!
[The audience cheered as he dodged objects thrown at him. They’re part of the show, mind you. After finishing his song, he bows to the cheering crowd. Betty and Bonnie gave a score of 9, while Bonita gave it a 7.]
Shecky: Thank you, thank you, I love you all. (leaves)
Ramone: Thank you. And good luck to you in the competition. Please, one more hand for the funny kitty.
[Garfield watched in anger.]
Garfield: Why, that cheesy cougar. I’m supposed to be the MC.
Ramone: Our next act, the one and only Garfield! 
[A spotlight shined, waiting for Garfield, but he wasn’t there. Ramone chuckled to himself as the audience wondered where he went.]
Garfield: Quick, guys. We gotta find a way to get down there. 
[They went down to the vent and looked at Eli’s workstation.]
Ramone: (to Charles) Charles!
Charles: (talks into his radio) Eli! Where’s Garfield!
Eli: (via radio) I don’t know.
[Garfield and Odie enter the workstation via a vent.]
Eli: (via radio) Garfield! He’s here! He’s here!
Ramone: Lazy cats. They're always late, aren't they? Never to be counted on. 
Charles: Psst! Psst! He’s here!
Ramone: It appears Garfield is only a moment away. For now, you will all have to be content gazing upon my beauty.
[The judges swoon at Ramone. Back at the workstation…]
Eli: It’s about time.
Garfield: (tries to help Odie down) Come on, Odie.
Eli: Where’ve you been?
Garfield: Getting funny, buddy boy, at the Fountain of Funny.
[Odie falls down.]
Garfield: Just wait till you see me out there.
Eli: Well, you’d better hurry.
[The cat opens his bag and gets out the flask.]
Garfield: Just one more sip of this, and I’ll be good to go.
[He looks at the flask, but it appears to be broken.]
Garfield: What?!
Eli: What’s wrong?
Garfield: I’m toast. There goes Fun Fest, there goes everything.
Eli: What are you talking about?
Garfield: My funny water’s gone. I can’t go on.
[He sighs as he throws away the broken flask and departs glumly.]
Eli: Garfield!
Charles: (via radio) Eli! What happened to Garfield?
Eli: (via radio) I don’t think he’s coming.
Charles: (to Ramone) He’s not coming. Move on with the show.
Ramone: Well, it looks as if we'll be moving on to our last act of the evening. Ladies and gentlemen, you are going to be treated to the tango, performed by the lovely Arlene and yours truly, just for you, so sit back and enjoy.
[The audience cheers as the curtains open. Arlene, in her tango outfit, is seen dancing with Ramone. Garfield and Odie watch from backstage as the performance plays. Ramone twirls Arlene and throws her in the air, followed by catching her. As Arlene danced with Ramone, she saw Garfield.]
Ramone: Huh?
[But Garfield and Odie leave the scene.]
Arlene: Garfield.
[Ramone continues the tango with her. Outside, Garfield sits on the curb, sulking. His one chance to win back Arlene was ruined, now that the flask is broken.]
Garfield: (to himself) Nice going, Garfield. You really did it this time. (kicks a can) You had it all, pal. 
[Odie comes to see him.]
Garfield: My humor's gone, Odie, and my girl is gone, all because… Because I'm, I'm… I'm sure there's a word for it.
Freddy Frog: (offscreen) Arrogant? 
[They looked and saw Freddy Frog in the alley.]
Freddy Frog: Conceited? Egotistical? Self-centered? Difficult? A prima donna?
Garfield: What are you doing here?
Freddy Frog: I came to see how my student is doing. 
Garfield: I flunked my final. That's how I'm doing. Now, I'd just like to be left alone. 
Freddy Frog: Back at the pond, I said you weren't ready yet. 
Garfield: I'll be ready and raring to go if you give me some more of that funny water. 
Freddy Frog: Oh, that won’t do any good.
Garfield: Why not?
Freddy Frog: Because funny water is just water.
Garfield: What?
Freddy Frog: Just plain H20, water!
Garfield: But the book, the map.
Freddy Frog: That’s just a story.
Garfield: But the funny water works. I felt funnier after I drank it. 
Freddy Frog: You felt funny, because you are funny. I tried to tell you. It was inside you all along. It was never about the water. It was about your journey.
Garfield and Odie: Huh?
Freddy Frog: Stan the squirrel taught you to be honest with your audience. Junior the bear taught you to follow your heart. And the alligators, humility. Odie knew.
Odie: Yeah.
Freddy Frog: Garfield, you forgot to entertain. You were working so hard at trying to win, you forgot to make the audience laugh. You forgot to follow your heart.
Garfield: Follow my heart. (gets out a wilted rose) Yeah. I’m gonna have to try a lot harder next time.
Freddy Frog: There may not be a next time.
[Garfield thought for a moment. Back onstage, Ramone spun Arlene around and threw her in the air. As Arlene spun, she was grabbed by another figure. It was Garfield in a tango costume. The audience cheered at his return while Ramone looked peeved. The two cats start doing the tango, but Ramone grabs her away from him. Luckily, with quick speed, Garfield retakes Arlene. They take her from each other back and forth until the trio spins in a tornado. When the dust clears, it’s just Ramone with Garfield. The Spanish cat tried to throw him off, but the fat cat held onto his leg. Garfield was then kicked up onto the lights, with a piece of pants cloth in hand. It revealed a robotic leg.]
Eli: Oh, no!
[Eli lowers the lights down as Ramone dances with Arlene. Garfield climbed up on the steel girders.]
Garfield: I’m okay, Eli.
[He ties a rope around his stomach and jumps down to rescue Arlene from being kissed by the cocky cat. Upon grabbing her from Ramone, however, he tore a cloth from his sleeve, revealing what seems to be a robotic arm.]
Ramone: You! 
Garfield: (to Arlene) Shall we?
[The baddie starts climbing up the girders.]
Arlene: Thank you, Garfield.
[He takes Arlene away and jumps down, but Garfield is close behind and grabs him. They all got back on the girder as Garfield pulled Ramone’s right arm off. Arlene was surprised at Ramone not feeling a thing.]
Arlene: Yikes! Your arm!
Ramone: (sees his missing arm and Garfield) You! (spins away with Arlene)
[Garfield looks at the arm and pulls down a hanger, making it move.]
Garfield: Huh?
Ramone: Do it for the character, Arlene. Keep dancing!
[He prepares to kiss her again, but Garfield uses the robotic hand to grab him by the leg.]
Garfield: Gotcha!
[Ramone flings him off, ripping the entire leg off in the process. As he hops away on one foot, Garfield follows him down the Fun Fest sign.]
Garfield: Arlene!
Arlene: Garfield!
[He hides behind a sign as Ramone resumes the tango with her. When they get near, he grabs Ramone’s other leg with the arm and pulls it off. However, Ramone, despite being nothing but a chest and head, continues the charade.]
Arlene: (weirded out) What’s happening?
[Garfield gains the courage to walk up to the Spanish cat and prepares to punch him with the robot arm. Instead, he flings the hat off his head and pulls his face off, revealing….]
Garfield: Nermal?!
Arlene: Nermal?!
Judges: Nermal?!
Audience: Nermal?!
Nermal: Who is this Nermal of which you speak?
Garfield: (grabs him with the robot arm) Why I oughta...
[Before he could give Nermal what’s coming, the audience starts cheering. Garfield and Arlene bow, while Nermal leaves the scene quietly. Garfield throws away the mask, which lands on Bonita's nose. She screams and throws it away.]
Garfield: Hit it!
[Tango music starts playing and Garfield and Arlene begin their long-awaited dance. The two danced together in harmony and the former held her in a position.]
Garfield: Arlene, I’m sorry.
Arlene: Sorry?
Garfield: For not saying I'd dance with you to begin with. I should've realized this is more important than winning Fun Fest.
Arlene: Who says we won’t win?
[They got back on their dance and finished it with grace. The crowd cheered wildly as the two embraced hands. From the workstation, Eli cheered.]
Eli: Alright, buddy! Whoo! Yeah!
[Freddy Frog was seen watching while holding a cup of coffee.]
Freddy Frog: Way to go, Garfield!
Charles: Judges?
[The judges all gave them a perfect score of 10. Yes, the judges, including Bonita, gave Garfield and Arlene a 10.]
Charles: Never seen perfect scores before. Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of Fun Fest, Garfield and Arlene!
[The place erupted in cheers as Garfield and Arlene bowed. Backstage…]
Nermal: I got it! Next year I'll be Pierre, the flaming-baton-twirling cabaret singer, no?
[Odie looked skeptically at him. Charles places flower wreaths over Garfield and Arlene’s heads.]
Charles: Congratulations!
[Garfield gets out the wilted rose and shows it to Arlene.]
Garfield: This one’s for you.
[She happily takes the rose and the two kiss as the scene transitions into an illustration from the book.]
Narrator: And they all lived happily ever after. The end. 
[A hand closed the book, revealing it to be Freddy Frog narrating the entire story. We then see Freddy flying gleefully on his hang-glider.]
Freddy Frog: Yahoo!
[He flies around the comic studio and the story comes to a close. Roll credits.]