Transcripts/Discordant Harmony

:[birds chirping]
:Fluttershy and Discord: [laughing]
:Fluttershy: Care for a carrot-ginger sandwich?
:Discord: Oh! You remembered to cut off the crusts for me.
:Fluttershy: Of course I did. I know how you like them.
:[pop, pop, pop!]
:[poof, poof, poof!]
:Discord: You really do make the best finger foods.
:Discord's finger: [high-pitched burp]
:Discord: What do you say?
:Discord's finger: [high-pitched] Excuse me.
:Discord: [scoffs] I really can't take them anywhere.
:Fluttershy: [giggles]
:[splat!]
:Discord: Can I trouble you for another sugarcube?
:Fluttershy: Oh, no. I'm so sorry, but I seem to be out.
:Discord: Well, I can just pop us in some more.
:Fluttershy: Oh, that's all right. I need to go to the market anyway. I have to restock my pantry for our tea party next week.
:Discord: Oh. I never realized how much work you put into hosting these tea parties.
:[fluttery music]
:Fluttershy: Oh, it's really not that much.
:Discord: No, no, no, no, no! I've been taking advantage of your hospitality for far too long. It's high time I do something about it. What to do, what to do...
:Discord 2: Why don't you host the next tea party?
:Discord: I've got it! Why don't I host the next tea party at my place?
:Discord 2: Hey, that's my idea.
:Discord: [snaps fingers]
:Discord 2: Why didn't I see that coming?
:[whistle!]
:[pop!]
:
:Discord: So, Fluttershy. Mmmm! What do you think of my brilliant, genius, amazing idea of having the next tea party at my place? [snaps fingers]
:[faucet running]
:Fluttershy: Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to go through any trouble.
:Discord: You? Trouble? Never! I insist! [snaps fingers]
:[sheep baaing]
:Fluttershy: Then count me in. I'm already looking forward to it.
:Discord: Me, too! I'm so excited! I can't wait! No, really, I can't! How about we have the tea party tomorrow afternoon?
:Fluttershy: Sounds good to me. You know, Discord, I've never been to your house before.
:Discord: Well, that's okay, because I've never hosted a tea party before.
:[boom!]
:Discord: Oh! I've never hosted a tea party before! So much to do! [sips tea] Thank you so much for the tea and nibblies, but I really must be going!
:Fluttershy: Uh, Discord? Before you go, would you mind helping me tidy up?
:Discord: [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Discord: There you go. Back to normal, just the way you like it. See you tomorrow!
:[poof!]
:[poof!]
:Discord: I can't wait!
:[poof!]
:Fluttershy: [giggles]
:[poof!]
:Discord: Okay. Since Fluttershy always goes out of her way to host the perfect tea party for me, how do I make my tea party for her even more perfect?
:Pearly Stitch: I'm sorry, dearie. Were you talking to me?
:Discord: Actually, madam, I'm talking to myself.
:Discord 2: Well, I'm not talking to you!
:Discord: It's for Fluttershy!
:Discord 2: Oh, all right. No more holes, though. [snaps fingers] You have to knock this tea party out of the park for her. She was our first friend, after all.
:Discord: You don't have to tell me that. She gave us a chance when no other pony would.
:Discord 2: She makes us want to be a better draconequus. Fluttershy deserves the best of everything.
:Discord: Of course! I should get her the best of everything. Why didn't I think of that? ...Well? Are you going to answer me or not?
:Pearly Stitch: Me? Uh, I thought you were talking to...
:Discord: No time! I'm off to prepare a tea party worthy of Fluttershy! [snaps fingers]
:[jetpack engine whirring]
:[poof!]
:[poof!]
:Discord: Excuse me. Is this where Fluttershy usually buys her tea?
:"Jasmine Leaf": Why, yes, it is.
:Discord: Oh, wonderful! I'll be enjoying her company tomorrow, so I will be needing your very best tea, please. Something especially special.
:"Jasmine Leaf": I'm sure Fluttershy would enjoy some of our rose hip green tea.
:Discord: [chuckling] Oh, interesting. Does it decorate your hips in roses or turn you green?
:"Jasmine Leaf": Uh... neither? It just tastes good.
:Discord: How boring. Pass. Hold on! Ginseng tea! Now that sounds promising. What does it sing? I'm partial to something upbeat and jazzy.
:"Jasmine Leaf": Again, it's just tasty like all of our tea here.
:Discord: So... all of this is just tea you simply drink?
:"Jasmine Leaf": Uh-huh.
:Discord: Ohhhh, it seems that I got here just in time. [snaps fingers]
:[tea bags singing]
:Discord: [laughs] Singing ginseng! I'll take it!
:"Jasmine Leaf": Are you sure you're friends with Fluttershy? You seem so very different from her.
:Discord: Well, of course we're friends! She gets me, and you obviously do not! [imitating "Jasmine Leaf"] "Are you sure you're friends with Fluttershy?" [scoffs] The very nerve!
:[poof!]
:[poof!]
:Discord: I'm sorry. Do you validate?
:[poof!]
:Discord: Hello!
:"Raspberry Vinaigrette": [yelps] Uh, can I help you find something?
:Discord: Yes, you can. Your finest tea set, please. I want only the best for my friend Fluttershy.
:"Raspberry Vinaigrette": Uh... you're friends with Fluttershy?
:Discord: Yes... judgy... clerk... pony! Why is it such a surprise? Sure, she's on the quieter side, and I'm a bit, well, more showy. But I'll have you know we're besties. And that's why I need the [echoing] best tea set!
:"Raspberry Vinaigrette": Uh, perhaps then you'd be interested in our classic tea-for-two set.
:[tea pouring]
:Discord: A teapot that just pours tea? How positively dreadful!
:"Raspberry Vinaigrette": But that's all teapots are supposed to do.
:Discord: Not anymore! [snaps fingers] Much better! Don't wrap it. I'll walk it home. [snaps fingers]
:[bits jingle]
:Discord: Now, let's see. I have the perfect tea and the perfect tea service. What else do I need for the perfect tea party? Oh! Decorations, of course!
:Discord: Good... but not nearly good enough for Fluttershy. [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Piñata: [sneezes]
:[volcano rumbling]
:Discord: [chuckles] Better. Oh! I'll need napkins. I'll simply make them... ah, well, I could... or... No. I've got nothing. How do I make these better? What should I do? Make them... [gasps, snaps fingers] Make them glow! Oh, that's not good enough for Fluttershy. Should I make them fly? Glow, fly, and [chuckles] and fold! Glow, fly, fold into fun shapes, perhaps?
:Pinkie Pie: Uh, Discord? Are you okay?
:Discord: Pinkie Pie! Just the pony I need. [snaps fingers] As the party pony and Fluttershy's close – but not best – friend, I need your advice. I'm hosting a tea party for her, and it has to be perfect. No! It has to be even better than perfect!
:Pinkie Pie: Oh, Discord. You're waaaaaay overthinking things. All you have to do is make Fluttershy feel comfortable. It should be pretty easy for you. You know her so well!
:[ding!]
:Discord: And that's why you're the party expert. Thank you, Pinkie Pie. I feel so much better now.
:Pinkie Pie: Eh, it's what I do.
:[shopping cart wheeling away]
:Discord: [snaps fingers]
:[bits jingle]
:Pinkie Pie: [to Cherry Fizzy] Excuse me! Where can I find the glowing, flying, self-folding napkins?
:[poof!]
:Discord: Make Fluttershy feel comfortable, make Fluttershy feel comfortable, comfortable, comfortable... Well, I mean, that shouldn't be a problem.
:[whimsical music]
:[lava bubbling]
:[teapot clanking]
:Piñata: [sneezes]
:[tea bags singing]
:Discord: Oh, dear. That might be a problem.
:[tea bags singing]
:Discord: Maybe it's not as bad as I think. Maybe Fluttershy would be comfortable having a tea party here.
:Piñata: [sneezes]
:[splash!]
:Discord: Maybe I just need another set of eyes on this. What do you think?
:[poof!]
:Discord 2: [gasps deeply]
:Discord: That bad?
:Discord 2: No, worse! Fluttershy would never be comfortable here! What have you done?!
:Discord: I was trying to make the tea party different and special like me. But all I did was make it chaotic and weird... like me. What if those ponies at the tea shop and the china shop were right? What if Fluttershy sees how crazy this place is and realizes how different we are? And then doesn't want to be friends anymore?! [hyperventilating]
:Discord 2: Relax! We can fix this. Time to call in the team.
:[door opens]
:Discord 2: Okay, chief. What's the plan?
:Discord: What to do, what to do, what to do... Oh!
:[bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk!]
:Discord: Got it! We know Fluttershy, and we know what she likes. First of all, we need to get rid of all the new stuff.
:Discord 2: You heard him! Strike the new stuff!
:[poof!]
:[vacuum whirring]
:[poof!]
:[jar clinking]
:[smack!]
:[boing]
:[poof!]
:Piñata: Bleh!
:Discord 3: Piñatas hate bats.
:[tea bags singing]
:[tea bag yelps]
:Discord: Enjoy your all-expense-paid trip around Equestria!
:[poof!]
:Discord: Well done, everybody, but there's still more work to do.
:Other Discords: [grumbling]
:Discord: We need to make this place more Fluttershy and less, well, me.
:[poof!]
:Discord: One thing I know about my dear friend is that she loves comfy chairs. But not on the ceiling. [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Discord: And I'm almost certain she likes stairs...
:[poof!]
:Discord: ...that lead somewhere.
:[poof!]
:[stretch, whip!]
:Discord: And although we've never discussed it, I'm pretty sure Fluttershy likes gravity. [snaps fingers]
:[crash!]
:Discord: Okay, fellas! This is a good start, but stand back. Let me show you how it's done. We just need some of this. [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Discord: And a little of that. [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Discord: [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Other Discords: [sounds of awe]
:Discord: And a whole lot of those! [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Discord: [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Discord: [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Discord: Phew!
:[fan whirring]
:Discord 2: How boring. I mean, normal.
:Discord: Thank you!
:Discord 2: Good job. The window treatments are perfectly unexceptional.
:Discord: But we're not done yet.
:Discord 2: You don't mean...
:Discord: Mm-hmm.
:All Discords: Makeover!
:[dance music]
:Discord 2: Hating it. Hating it. Hating it. Hating... how much I love it!
:[scissors snipping]
:[whip!]
:[whip!]
:[bees buzzing]
:Discord: [screams]
:Discord: Okay, let's give these conversation cards a whirl. [clears throat, reading] "It is very nice to see you today." "Have you read any good books lately?" "Your garden looks positively lovely."
:All Discords: [cheering]
:[poof!]
:Discord: Huh. Quite strange. For the first time in my life, I don't feel quite strange. In fact, I feel... completely normal. Everything is finally perfect for Fluttershy.
:[clock chiming]
:Discord: And just in time. [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Fluttershy: Discord! I'm so excited to finally see where you live!
:Discord: G-Greetings, friend. Please do come in.
:Fluttershy: I can't wait to see how... uh... Oh.
:[clock ticking]
:Discord: Is something amiss?
:Fluttershy: Um, no, no, not at all. It's just not what I expected. It's quite... lovely.
:Discord: Please have a seat.
:Fluttershy: Where is it?
:Discord: Right here.
:Fluttershy: Oh.
:Discord: I think you'll be quite pleased with the green tea I've selected for us today.
:Fluttershy: Oooh! Does it actually turn us green? Is it really envious of the other teas? What's it do, what's it do?!
:Discord: Uh, well, it tastes delicious.
:Fluttershy: Oh... Okay.
:Discord: What particularly nice weather we're having.
:Fluttershy: Yes... Yes, we are.
:Discord: [sips tea] It did rain the other day, however.
:Fluttershy: Uh-huh...
:Discord: But the weather today is particularly nice. ...As I previously mentioned. Would you care for some milk toast?
:Fluttershy: Uh, Discord, you don't seem to be yourself today. Are you feeling all right?
:Discord: Whatever do you mean?
:Fluttershy: Well, it's just... what you're wearing. And also what you're saying. And also the way you're saying it. And, um, pretty much everything else.
:Discord: Oh, dear Fluttershy, worry not. I can assure you that for the first time, I'm feeling perfectly normal. Now, let me top you off.
:[clatter!]
:Discord: Oops! Butterfingers! How embarrassing.
:[fizzle]
:Fluttershy: Uh, what's going on?
:Discord: I have... no idea.
:Fluttershy: [gasps] Discord! You're starting to fade away!
:Discord: Oh, you don't say... Have you read any good books lately? [chuckles nervously]
:Discord: Huh. Have you tried the scones? They're positively delectable. The secret is in the extra butter.
:Fluttershy: What is wrong with you?! You're acting so normal, which is not so normal for you!
:Discord: Well, whatever do you mean? This is just me being me.
:Fluttershy: No, it's not! It's you being like everypony else!
:Discord: [gasps]
:[clatter]
:[fizzle]
:Fluttershy: Eeeek! The more you do it, the more you fade away! Of course! You're a creature of pure chaos! Being normal is destroying you!
:Discord: [laughs] How interesting. That reminds me of something I heard at the market today.
:[fizzle]
:Fluttershy: Stop it! Please! You need to go back to being your not-normal normal self! Quick, Discord! Uh, do something chaotic before it's too late! Please!
:Discord: Do something chaotic? I'll try...
:[squeak]
:Discord: Ohhhh, that's not good...
:Fluttershy: [whimpers] Then I guess it's up to me. [whimpers] Okay. All right. How about... [whimpering]
:[clatter]
:Fluttershy: Oh, no! I tipped over that cup! That's pretty chaotic, right?
:Discord: [yawns]
:Fluttershy: [whimpers] What if I... [chomping, mouth full] Oh, my! Talking with food in my mouth after taking a bite from every sandwich! [gulps] How wacky! Doing anything for ya?
:[fizzle]
:Fluttershy: [whimpers] Okay. Hmm. Maybe I need to start thinking like you. Ohhh... What would Discord do? Well, I guess he'd probably make another version of himself to bounce ideas off of.
:[clatter]
:Fluttershy: But one wouldn't be enough. He'd need more! Way more!
:[zipping]
:Fluttershy: [to her reflections] Hey there, Fluttershys! Any ideas on how to Discord up this tea party? [higher-pitched] Hi, Fluttershy! Thanks for asking! First of all, you gotta redecorate this place. I mean, this is where Discord lives! And you're telling me there aren't any stairs that lead to nowhere? [speaking normally] On it!
:[zipping]
:[crash]
:Fluttershy: Better... but it still needs something. Now, that's more like it!
:[shimmer]
:Fluttershy: [gasps] It's working! Okay, what else? Furniture on the ground? So predictable! Let's put them where they don't belong!
:[hammering, zip!, hammering]
:[shimmer]
:Fluttershy: And he'd have a chaise lounge that would actually chase you! Because he's funny like that! Bet you can't catch me!
:Discord: [chuckles lightly, snaps fingers, gasps, laughs loudly]
:[chaise lounge panting]
:Fluttershy: Oh! And Discord would have a special kind of tea! Like a ginseng that could really sing!
:Discord: I would. I-I would! [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:[tea bags singing]
:Fluttershy: And he'd serve it on a floating table! We never talked about it, but I'm pretty sure Discord hates gravity!
:Discord: I do! Who wants to be tethered to the ground when you can do this? [snaps fingers]
:Fluttershy: [laughs] Now this is exactly what I was hoping for!
:Discord: This is what you were hoping for? But this is the complete opposite of your tea parties.
:Fluttershy: I wouldn't expect you to throw a tea party the way I would. We're different!
:Discord: I know. I was afraid that if you saw exactly how different we are, you wouldn't want to be friends anymore.
:Fluttershy: What?! Why would you ever think that?
:Discord: Because you and I don't make sense to anypony else.
:Fluttershy: That may be true, but we make sense to me. I never would've thought to make singing ginseng before I met you. But you've opened me up to so many more possibilities and impossibilities. So I guess what I'm trying to say is I like you because you're so different from me.
:Discord: You do?
:Fluttershy: Of course I do, silly! Besides, what's discord without a little chaos?
:Discord: [chuckling] Well! In that case, I certainly don't need to be wearing this.
:[rip!]
:Discord: Oops! [laughs] I forgot that I still had this on!
:[poof!]
:Fluttershy: [giggling] Now, about that tea party...
:Fluttershy: You know, your garden really is looking lovely.
:Discord: Why, thank you for noticing. I also couldn't help but notice that you need a refill.
:[tea pouring]
:Piñata: [sneezes]
:Fluttershy: Gesundheit.
:Discord: It really is nice having you here.
:Fluttershy: I'm happy to be here. And I really do like your place. Because it's so you.
:Discord: Why, thank you, Fluttershy.
:Fluttershy: Now, how about we try some of those delicious-looking sandwiches?
:Discord: [snaps fingers]
:[poof!]
:Discord: [chuckles] You read my mind!
:Fluttershy: [giggling]
:[tea bags singing]
:Fluttershy and Discord: [laughing]
:[credits]