A Future To Believe In

A Future To Believe In is the twelfth episode of season six, and the seventieth episode overall, as well as the series finale, of No Malarkey in Bikini Bottom. It premiered on April 6, 2022. 
==Plot==
In 2025, Mr. Banana is inaugurated president of Bikini Bottom, however he is quickly killed in a socialist revolution, with Mr. Tentacles assuming his place. A band of Bikini Bottomites join together in an attempt to restore the old capitalist order. 
== Story ==
[The episode begins in 2025 at a White House press conference. There, Mr. Banana is speaking.]
Mr. Banana: I am proud to announce that as my first act in office, I have signed an executive order banning all music. My fellow Bikini Bottomites, there is no joy in life, only productivity.
Wobbles: Wow, now that we don’t have any music to distract ourselves with, I guess we’ll just have to be productive.
Dave: You know, I think you’re right. Let’s get to work...overthrowing capitalism!
[Within seconds President Banana is killed and socialism is established. The scene cuts to Mr. Chillyrooster.]
Mr. Chillyrooster: This just in, the capitalist government of Mr. Banana has been violently overthrown, with revolutionaries installing Mr. Tentacles in his place. We go to him now. 
[The scene cuts to Mr. Tentacles at the White House press conference.]
Mr. Tentacles: I am beyond honored to be chosen to head this new socialist government. As my first act in office, I have signed an executive order mandating the worker ownership of all means of production. Furthermore, I have signed an executive order legalizing music. 
[The crowd cheers.]
Mr. Tentacles: Thank you, thank you. I want to underscore that this shall simply be a transitional government, and that I am working with our comrades in the legislature on a bill to dissolve the government and install a direct democracy. And will someone get this dead body out of here, by the way? It’s starting to stink. 
[cut to Mr. Pineapple, who is watching the speech on TV]
Mr. Pineapple: What a sell-out! A stateless, moneyless, classless society? That’s not what communism is about! Communism is about having a totalitarian one party state that rules over the peasant class with an iron fist! Why, I didn’t even hear one word in that speech about forced labor! I have to stop this social fascist before it’s too late! 
[Cut to Mr. R’Onion’s Environmental Science class, where a doorbell can be heard. Mr. R’Onion goes to open the door, revealing Mr. Pineapple.] 
Mr. Pineapple: MR. R’ONION! Quick, you have to help me overthrow Mr. Tentacles before he cements his capitalist rule! 
Mr. R’Onion: TRAVIS! First off, you’re late! Do you have any idea how incredibly behind you are?! Do you want to get held back *again*?! Second of all, I say we give this guy a chance. He says he supports direct democracy - maybe he’ll finally grant trees the right to vote! 
[cut to the TV, which is playing a Mr. Tentacles speech]
Mr. Tentacles: Comrades, I am proud to announce that I have just now signed into law the mandating of veganism. 
Mr. R’Onion: LORD NEPTUNE! 
Mr. Pineapple: We need to come up with a plan to stop this! But first, let’s eat! I can’t overthrow governments on an empty stomach! 
[Cut to the Krusty Krab. Mr. R’Onion and Mr. Pineapple approach the restaurant, when suddenly Mr. Krabs is thrown out the building.]
Mr. Pineapple: Uh...what just happened?
Mr. Krabs: Those peasants just fired me! Thanks to Mr. Squidward’s new executive order, the slaves are now the masters! It’s utterly absurd! How is this business supposed to function without me stealing the workers’ surplus value?!
Mr R’Onion: Well, why don’t you join us? We were just planning to overthrowing the government! 
Mr. Krabs: That sounds great! 
[Suddenly Mr. Krabs’ phone rings.]
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hang on a second. It’s my business partner. 
[Mr. Krabs answer the phone. Suddenly, Mr. Renaud’s voice can be heard.]
Mr. Renaud: EUGENE! Something terrible has happened! I’ve been arrested for several child sex offenses and unlike all the other times, I can’t get the president to pardon me! 
Mr. Krabs: WHAT
Mr. Renaud: Indeed. 
Mr. Krabs: This is an outrage! His first day in office and Mr. Squidward is already throwing his political opponents in prison! What’s next?! Throwing corporate criminals in prison?! We have to stop this before it’s too late! 
Mr. Pineapple: Don’t worry! We’ll free him immediately! …Right after I get something to eat. 
Mr. R’Onion: WAIT! Travis, you can’t eat there! Everything they serve is made the corpses of plants! Didn’t you hear Mr. Tentacles’ executive order?! 
Mr. Pineapple: Don’t worry, he signed that executive order into law like ten minutes ago. I’m sure it hasn’t gone into effect yet. 
[Cut to Mr. SquarePants outside the Krusty Krab with a megaphone.] 
Mr. SquarePants: Attention everyone’s Due to Squidward’s new executive order, we have immediately replaced all animal products on our menu with vegan food! 
[Mr. R’Onion falls to his knees.] 
Mr. R’Onion: THAT MURDERER!!!!!!!! 
[Cut to the Bikini Bottom Jail.] 
Mr. Pineapple: Don’t mind us, we’re just gonna break this guy out of jail. 
Mrs. Harris: Nope. 
Mr. Krabs: Don’t worry, I know how to handle this. LOOK, A PALESTINIAN!
[Mrs. Harris turns around.] 
Mrs. Harris: Where?! 
[Mr. Krabs quickly rips the bars out of the cell door with his claws.] 
Mr. Renaud: Oh, I love the risk! 
[They all quickly run out of the jail. Suddenly they are approached by Mr. Lobster.] 
Mr. Lobster: HEY! Who do you think you Antifa liberals are, breaking criminals out of jail?! This is Bikini Bottom, where we respect the rule of law! Now let’s make this quick, because I need to go overthrow the president. 
Mr. Pineapple: Mr. Lobster, we’re also here to overthrow the president! 
Mr. Lobster: Wait, really? 
Mr. Renaud: Yeah, I’m a political prisoner! 
Mr. Lobster: [gasp] So the Purge has already begun! Mr. Tentacles is excommunicating anyone that disagrees with his radical communist agenda! Quick, follow me!
[Mr. Lobster then leads the group into his apartment, which is plastered with photos of Mr. Trump.]
Mr. Lobster: Welcome to my MANCAVE! 
Mr. Pineapple: [stomach growls] Gee, I’m hungry. You got anything to eat in here?
Mr. Lobster: OF COURSE! 
[He opens his fridge, which is packed solely with meat. He then opens his spice cabinet, which is packed solely with salt.]
Mr. Lobster: I’VE GOT MEAT AND SALT! 
Mr. Pineapple: So those are the only two things you have in your *entire* kitchen?
Mr. Lobster: Yep.
Mr. Pineapple: So what do you drink then?
[Mr. Lobster then grabs one of the slabs of meat, squeezing the blood into his mouth.]
Mr. Lobster: BLOOD! 
[Mr. Krabs then leans over to Mr. Pineapple, whispering to him.]
Mr. Krabs: Are you sure about this? I think this guy is a vampire. 
Mr. R’Onion: YOUR MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU EAT THE CORPSE OF AN INNOCENT?!
Mr. Lobster: Pft, get over it, liberal pussy! Animals were put on this earth to be eaten by us! 
Mr. R’Onion: I’m not talking about that! I’m talking about the salt! Do you know how many innocent rocks were killed to create that?! 
[Suddenly Mr. Pepperchicken opens the door.] 
Mr. Pepperchicken: I’m back! Eh, who are these weirdos? NONE OF THEM ARE GAY, ARE THEY?! 
Mr. Lobster: Folks, meet Mr. Pepperchicken, my partner in the rebellion! Mr. Pepperchicken, these are some new recruits I found! 
Mr. Pepperchicken: New recruits, huh? Great! The more the straighter, as I always say! We need to overthrow Mr. Tentacles as soon as possible. He’s been in office less than a day, and already his administration is the most pro-LGBT in Bikini Bottom history! 
Mr. R’Onion: Too bad he can’t be pro-plant…\
Mr. Pineapple: Enough chit-chat! Let’s eat!
[Mr. Pineapple grabs one of Mr. Lobster’s slabs of meat.]
Mr. Pineapple: Where’s your grill?
Mr. Lobster: I don’t have one. 
Mr. Pineapple: Okay. Where’s your stove then?
Mr. Lobster: Don’t have one. 
Mr. Pineapple: Where’s your oven?
Mr. Lobster: Don’t have one. 
Mr. Pineapple: Your…microwave?
Mr. Lobster: I don’t have one of these either. 
Mr. Pineapple: WHAT?! So then what am I supposed to cook with this?!
Mr. Lobster: Nothing! COOKING FOOD IS FOR PUSSIES! REAL MEN EAT THEIR MEAT RAW!
Mr. Pineapple: [throws the slab of meat onto the table] I’m not doing this. 
Mr. R’Onion: I am! 
[Mr. R’Onion grabs the slab of meat and rips into it with his teeth.]
Mr. Pepperchicken: You know, if you don’t want to eat raw meat, you could have this banana I found on the way here! 
[Mr. Pepperchicken takes out Mr. Banana’s corpse.]
Mr. R’Onion: [gasps] It’s Mr. Banana! [takes out his R’Onion Revivor] We can revive him, then once we overthrow Mr. Tentacles, Mr. Banana can take his place and everything will be back to normal! 
Mr. Lobster: STOP! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS! MR. BANANA IS A TRAITOR WHO STOLE THE ELECTION FROM ME! 
[Flashback to the 2024 presidential debate] 
Mr. Trump: YMCA, the gay national anthem. Did you ever hear that? They call it the gay national anthem. 
Mr. Banana: Excuse me, why don’t you stop using your tongue in an impulsive manner? Music is the enemy of productivity, and unproductivity will always be the enemy of the people. 
Mr. Trump: You know, we’re gonna be looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms. People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times. It’s a disgrace. It’s a disgrace. And the radical left wants to- [dies] 
[Suddenly Mr. Lobster jumps on stage.] 
Mr. Lobster: YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KNEW YOU KNEW YOU COULDN’T BEAT HIM IN A FAIR ELECTION, AND SO YOU HAD HIM ASSASSINATED! You were scared he’d go after you and the Democrats’ child sex trafficking ring- 
Mr. Banana: Nonsense. He probably died as a result of all that unproductive music he was listening to! This is why on day #1 I pledge to sign an executive order outlawing all music, with the exception of the Star-Spangled Banner. We must protect the health of our fish. 
Mr. Lobster: WELL YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO, BECAUSE AS HIS RUNNING MATE, I SHALL TAKE HIS PLACE AND AVENGE HIS DEATH! AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU LIBERALS CAN DO TO STOP ME! 
[Cut to Mr. Chillyrooster.] 
Mr. Chillyrooster: This just in, Mr. Lobster has been stopped by Mr. Banana, who has been elected president of Bikini Bottom. 
[cut to present] 
Mr. Lobster: That thief needs to stay in Hell where he belongs! 
Mr. R’Onion: Nope. Mr. Banana is the first plant president in all of Bikini Bottom history! If he gets restored to power, I’m sure he’d take swift action to immediately end the Plant Genocide! 
Mr. Lobster: So you’re on the side of the steal, huh? WELL THEN GET OF MY HOUSE! LIBERALS AREN’T WELCOME! 
Mr. Pineapple: Woah, woah, woah. Hang on there Larry. Mr. R’Onion actually has a point. If Mr. Banana stays dead, then we won’t be able to kill him and overthrow his government! 
Mr. Lobster: Hm…you make a compelling argument. Okay, I’m in! 
Mr. R’Onion: Great! Let’s do it then! 
[Mr. R’Onion shoots Mr. Banana’s corpse with the R’Onion Revivor, instantly reviving him.] 
Mr. Banana: I DIDN’T DO IT, OFFICER! I DID NOT LAY MY HANDS ON THAT STRAWBERRY! Huh? 
Mr. R’Onion: Greetings, ONE TRUE PRESIDENT OF BIKINI BOTTOM, MR. BANANA! I just revived you back to life! 
Mr. Banana: HOORAY! I'M A FREE BANANA! 
Mr. R’Onion: You know I could also use this to revive Mr. Biden. 
Mr. Pineapple, Mr. Banana, Mr. Pepperchicken and Mr. Lobster: NO! 
Mr. Banana: He screws up everything! 
Mr. Pineapple: I AM NOT A GIRL! 
Mr. Lobster: HE STOLE THE PRESIDENCY FROM DONALD J. TRUMP! 
Mr. R’Onion: Well actually he stole it from me. 
Mr. Renaud: Actually he stole it from me! 
Mr. Pepperchicken: Actually he stole it from me!
Mr. Banana: Enough bickering! Now that I'm alive again, let’s go show these music-loving peasants who’s really in charge! 
Mr. Krabs: But wait! What’s the actual plan to successfully overthrow the president again?
Mr. Lobster: [shrugs] I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d get this far. 
Mr. Banana: [takes out his keys] We can just enter the White House using my keys!
Mr. Krabs: With your keys? First of all, they’ve probably changed the locks by now. There’s no way we’re gonna be able to enter the White House using just your keys! 
[Cut to the White House, where they enter using just Mr. Banana’s keys.] 
Mr. Krabs: I stand corrected. 
Mr. Banana: Quiet, everyone! We don’t want to wake anyone up. 
[They creep through the hallways when suddenly the lights are turned on, revealing a guard.] 
Guard: Nope. 
Mr. R’Onion: How’d you catch us?! 
Guard: I’m subscribed to you on Vimeo! 
[The guard holds up his phone, which plays a video.] 
Mr. R’Onion: Salutations, my loyal listeners! This is That Carnivore Teacher, and I’m about to break into the White House and overthrow the government! 
[All the other members of the rebellion glare at Mr. R’Onion.]
Mr. R’Onion: What? How was I supposed to know that publicly posting our plan to assassinate a top government official would result in us being caught?
[The rebellion is immediately thrown in Bikini Bottom Jail.]
Mr. Banana: Say, Kamala, why don’t you do us a favor and let us out of here, huh?
Mrs. Harris: Let fish out of jail? ABSOLUTELY NOT! That goes against everything I stand for!
Mr. Banana: But we worked together for four years! 
Mrs Harris: It’s nothing personal, I just really love putting fish in jail! Why’d, I’d gladly lock my own mother up! 
Mr. Banana: [smirks] You know Mr. Tentacles opposes the carceral state. He wants to defund the police and free all non-violent drug offenders! 
Mrs. Harris: WHAT
Mr. Banana: Indeed. Tell you what. We’re trying to overthrow Mr. Tentacles. If I get back in power, you’ll be able to arrest tons of musicians! 
Mrs. Harris: It’s a deal!
[Mrs. Harris slides open the cell door.] 
Mr. Banana: [glances at Mr. R’Onion] Do not post about this on Vimeo. 
[Cut to the White House. They approach Mr. Tentacles’ room. Mr. Banana slowly pushes the door open.] 
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, I SHOULD KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS! 
[Suddenly Mr. Tentacles wakes up.]
Mr. Tentacles: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
[Cut to Mr. Chillyrooster.]
Mr. Chillyrooster: This just in, Mr. Banana has been revived back to life and restored to power. Immediately once retaking office, Mr. Banana rescinded Mr. Tentacles' previous executive orders abolishing capitalism, legalizing music, eliminating poverty, and ending water pollution. 
[Cut to Mr. R'Onion and Mr. Pineapple watching the news.]
Mr. Pineapple: We did it, Mr. R'Onion! We saved the country from Mr. Tentacles' capitalist rule! 
== Trivia ==
* The name and title card are based on Bernie Sanders' 2016 campaign slogan and signs. 
* This episode is a continuation of the future Bikini Bottom portrayed in "A No Malarkey Christmas". 
Category:No Malarkey in Bikini Bottom