The Hudson Tridecaplets' 7th Birthday Party

== Katie decides the theme ==
=== Choosing the Theme ===
Aunt Theresa: "The tridecaplets, which is my sons Brett and Joel's well-behaved biological cousins are having a Candy Crush Saga themed birthday."
Katie: "Okay, what theme your and your tridecaplet siblings' birthday party would be?"
Alice: "Candy Crush Saga!"
Katie: "And how would you like your cake?"
Sarah: "Lemon cake!"
Katie: "Great idea! I'll call Grandma Susie, Rachel, Mrs. Wilson, the parents of all your classmates and your friends and Aunty Theresa. These are the people who we sent invitations to, okay?"
Sarah: "Okay."
=== Calling Aunt Theresa ===
Aunt Theresa: "Now my sister is calling me."
[Katie is on her cell phone]
Katie: "Hi Theresa, this is Katie speaking. My tridecaplets wanted a Candy Crush Saga themed birthday party since they started playing this game since they met Brett, Joel and their friends."
=== Calling Grandma Susie ===
Aunt Theresa: "Now she's calling my mom!"
Katie: "Hi mom, this is your daughter speaking. My tridecaplets wanted a Candy Crush Saga themed party."
=== Calling the Tridecaplets' Godmother Rachel ===
Aunt Theresa: "Do you know that Rachel is the tridecaplets' godmother?"
[Katie is on the phone texting her friend Rachel]
=== Calling the Tridecaplets' Teacher and the Parents of the Tridecaplets' Classmates ===
Aunt Theresa: "Now that my sister Katie is calling their teacher and the parents of the tridecaplets' friends and classmates."
[Antonio is playing the drums loud when Katie is on the phone]
Katie: "Antonio, can you please quiet down? I'm on the phone."
== Katie gets her kids ready ==
Aunt Theresa: " "
== Aunt Theresa gets Brett and Joel ready ==
Aunt Theresa: " "
Aunt Theresa: "Boys, come on! We don't want to be late for your cousins' birthday party!"
Brett & Joel: "Okay, mommy!"
== Katie picks up Aunt Theresa, Brett, Joel, Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom ==
Aunt Theresa: "It is time for my sister's family to pick us up so Audrey has to be home with the petsitter, Jessica."
[Katie sees a house that has Candy Crush Saga in it]
[Katie drops off to Brett and Joel's house in Boulder, Colorado]
[Jessica rings the doorbell]
Grandma Susie: "Bye Jessica, see you later! Have fun with Audrey!"
Jessica: "Thank you Susie!"
[The family leaves Jessica with Audrey]
[Katie grabs a tender for Aunt Theresa's car and she, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom, Brett and Joel sit in it]
== To Chuck E. Cheese's ==
Aunt Theresa: "While driving to Chuck E. Cheese's, the triplets snatched my iPad and wrote a racist note about my sons in it."
[Katie drives her van with the 22 people]
[The tridecaplets, Brett and Joel are playing Candy Crush Saga on their respective iPods and iPads]
[Juan, Jose and Antonio snatches Aunt Theresa's iPad and writes on her notes saying, "Brett and Joel are stupid (bleep)s!"]
Aunt Theresa: (reading) "Brett and Joel are stupid (bleeps)s."
[Aunt Theresa examines the bad note and deletes it]
=== At Chuck E. Cheese's ===
Aunt Theresa: "The moment we got to Chuck E. Cheese's, Juan, Jose and Antonio are being moody and complaining about the theme and place the tridecaplets are choosing."
Katie: "Boys! There will be no Gangnam Style and Burger King for today."
Juan: "WE WANTED TO GO TO BURGER KING AND WE WANTED A GANGNAM STYLE THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY!"
Katie: "Too bad, there's no Gangnam Style and we're not at Burger King. We're at Chuck E. Cheese's and their theme is Candy Crush Saga."
Jose: "WE HATE CHUCK E. CHEESE'S AND CANDY CRUSH SAGA! WE ONLY LIKE BURGER KING AND GANGNAM STYLE!"
Antonio: "CANDY CRUSH SAGA STINKS!"
Juan: "So f(bleep) you!"
Katie: "You don't say that to people, that is unacceptable and you can have Gangnam Style for your thirteenth birthday at Burger King. Now calm down and don't even think about changing the theme. Here, take some tokens and go play some games."
Jose: "We'll blow up this dump!"
Antonio: "I WISH CANDY CRUSH SAGA NEVER EXISTED AND I ALSO WISH EVERY CANDY CRUSH SAGA PLAYER IN THE SEVEN CONTINENTS TO BE DEAD! I ALSO WISH MOM WOULD DIE IN A CAR CRASH!"
[Juan kicks Katie's seat while Jose kicks Aunt Theresa's seat and Antonio kicks Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom's seat respectively]
Katie: "Oh, my god! When is this going to stop?"
Antonio: "Never!"
[We see a person in a Chuck E. costume]
Juan: "YOU, AUNT THERESA, GRANDMA SUSIE, AND GRANDPA TOM ALWAYS FAVOR ETHAN, RYAN, JONATHAN, KYLE, LIAM, ERIC, MILO, SARAH, KELLY, JULIA, ALICE, ABBY, AMANDA, BRETT AND JOEL?! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME, JOSE AND ANTONIO!"
Katie: "That's because your tridecaplet siblings and your cousins have better behaviors, unlike you, Jose and Antonio. They also get good grades in school."
Liam: "Jose also said a lot of bad words."
Jose: "Tattletale."
[Kyle is playing games with Eric and Sarah]
Aunt Theresa: "Oh no!"
[Kelly's face is pushed into the still-hot pizza, burned]
[Juan is seen smoking marijuana outside of Chuck E. Cheese's]
[Julia, Abby and Ryan are playing Candy Crush Saga on their respective electronics]
[Jonathan, Joel and Milo are playing in the ball pit]
[Brett, Ethan and Amanda are playing Skee Ball]
[Jose and Antonio are putting firecrackers by the games]
== The Birthday Starts ==
Aunt Theresa: "It is time for the first party to start!"
Katie: (to the tridecaplets) "Look, kids, your godmother is here!"
[Rachel arrives with shopping bags full of birthday presents for the tridecaplets]
Rachel: "Here's your presents! Happy birthday!"
[The tridecaplets line up in ABC order to receive a present each]
Rachel: "Here's one for Abby!"
[Rachel hands the present to Abby]
Rachel: "And one for Alice!"
[Rachel hands the present to Alice]
Rachel: "This is for Amanda!"
[Rachel hands the present to Amanda]
Rachel: "And this one's for Eric."
[Rachel hands the present to Eric]
Rachel: "Here you go, Eric!"
[Rachel hands the present to Ethan]
Rachel: "This one is for Ethan!"
[Rachel hands the present to Jonathan]
Rachel: "This present's for Jonathan!"
[Rachel hands the present to Julia]
Rachel: "From my heart with Julia!"
[Rachel hands the present to Kelly]
Rachel: "Not for Antonio, but for Kelly!"
[Rachel hands the present to Kyle]
Rachel: "My oh my, it's Kyle again!"
[Rachel hands the present to Liam]
Rachel: "Liam!"
[Rachel hands the present to Milo]
Rachel: "Milo!"
[Rachel hands the present to Ryan]
Rachel: "Here you go, Ryan."
[Rachel hands the present to Sarah]
Rachel: "And finally, Sarah!"
[Before the party, Juan, Jose, Antonio, Chester, Steven, William, and Gabe are all drawing a picture of someone resembling Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom, Mrs. Phoebe Wilson (the tridecaplets' teacher), Rachel (the tridecaplets' godmother), Brett, Joel, the tridecaplets, their friends, their friends' family, and the triplets' friends' parents being hit by a bullet train and blasted into Godzilla's mouth]
Aunt Theresa: "Oh my god!"
[Juan destroys and hacks all the games with viruses]
[Jose karate kicks one of the employees, causing him to faint]
[Antonio breaks all the Candy balloons with a pin]
[Steven pushes a customer to a wall]
[Chester flips off Katie]
[William bullies the tridecaplets, Brett, Joel and their friends]
[Gabe runs to the boy's room and beats up a kid in there]
Juan: "Teamwork, guys!"
Steven/Chester/William/Gabe/Antonio/Jose: "Teamwork!"
[Antonio, Juan, Gabe, Steven, Chester, William and Jose high-five each other]
Katie: "OMG!"
[The triplets and their friends get a box of knifes and lacerate Brett, Joel, their tridecaplet siblings and their friends]
Grandma Susie: "Oh my lord!"
[Juan lacerates Alice and Amanda]
[The triplets and their friends smash the Candy Crush Saga birthday ice cream cake on Brett, Joel and their tridecaplet siblings and their friends]
Alice: "Yuck!"
[The triplets and their friends change the Candy Crush Saga theme song to Gangnam Style, take off their clothes and dance on the table naked, spitting on all the guests]
[Grandpa Tom changes the music back to the Candy Crush Saga theme song]
Aunt Theresa: "Since I work at Chuck E. Cheese's, I'm going to fix all the games."
[Aunt Theresa fixes all the broken games]
[A 17 year old female worker (b. July 6, 2006) sees all the chaos]
17 year old female worker: "What the h*** is going on?"
[Juan pushes 17 year old female worker to the garbage]
Antonio: "Leave her alone, she's garbage!"
[Jose pulls the fire alarm]
Katie: "Juan, Antonio and Jose, take some tokens and go play some games for a while until they our pizza is ready. Go on and keep out of trouble."
[Juan defecates, farts and pees in the ball pit]
[Jose pours some bugs on the table]
[Antonio flips Chuck E. off]
[The triplets and their friends are throwing many small rocks and bricks at Katie, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom, Aunt Theresa, Rachel Mrs. Wilson, Brett, Joel, the tridecaplets, their friends, their friends' family members, and the parents of the triplets' friends, causing them to be knocked down]
[The triplets laugh]
Mrs. Wilson: "Okay, boys and girls and everybody! Time to gather round at the and sing Happy Birthday!"
[Juan, Antonio and Jose are restrained by the security guard]
[Chuck E. and his pals gather]
Chuck E.: "Let's all sing happy birthday everybody!"
Katie/Aunt Theresa/Guests/Brett/Joel/Grandma Susie/Grandpa Tom/Mrs. Wilson/Rachel/Chuck E. (singing): "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to the Hudson tridecaplets, happy birthday to you."
[Juan smacks Mrs. Wilson on the face]
Katie: Juan, what are you doing?
[Jose bites Mrs. Wilson on the leg]
Katie: Jose, please stop that. That is not very nice.
[Antonio flips Mrs. Wilson the bird off]
[Steven hits the tridecaplets, Brett, Joel and their friends]
[Chester spits on the families of the tridecaplets' friends]
[William flips off all the adults]
[Gabe slaps Chuck E. on the face]
[The triplets take the pizza and throw them on the floor]
[Juan, Jose, and Antonio and their friends climb up the animatronic stage and attack the animatronics]
17 year old female worker (to Juan, Jose, Antonio, Steven, Chester, William and Gabe): "You boys, we don't tolerate this behavior in public, thank you."
William: "SHUT UP YOU A***!"
[Gabe kicks the 17 year old female worker on the face]
Brett and Joel: "Mom, we're up to Level 2,977 and we can't pass it due to its difficulty because of the hard orders. It says to do 7 Wrapped Candies with Striped Candies in 35 moves with quadrants and 5 colors."
[Antonio, Juan and Jose are smoking marijuana]
Aunt Theresa: "Do you want me to help you?"
Brett and Joel: "Yes, please!"
Antonio: (sweetly) "Oh, Abby...we saved the best present for last...will you tell your brothers and sisters to come over here?" (He is holding a huge box wrapped in brightly colored paper)
Abby: "...Uh, sure. Ethan, Ryan, Jonathan, Kyle, Liam, Eric, Milo, Sarah, Kelly, Julia, Alice, Amanda...could you come over here please? Antonio, Juan and Jose saved the best present for last."
Juan: Go ahead, open it.
[Abby, Amanda, Alice, Liam, Milo, Ethan, Jonathan, Eric, Julia, Kyle, Ryan, Kelly and Sarah open the present together to reveal a real live giant 60-ft Burmese Python named Nagini, slithers out of its box and across the restaurant floor]
Jose, Juan and Antonio: "Happy Birthday, Sarah, Ryan, Abby, Amanda, Alice, Ethan, Eric, Julia, Liam, Milo, Jonathan, Kyle and Kelly!"
{we hear the tridecaplets screaming}
Katie: What the heck was that?
{people screaming}
Girl: Snake! Snake!
30 minutes later
Katie: "Guys! We're leaving!"
Brett: "Why?"
Aunt Theresa: "Because your adoptive cousins ruined this celebration."
Brett: "Can't I stay here?"
[Fire truck arrives in response of the fire alarm]
[Aunt Theresa notices the tridecaplets, their friends, Brett and Joel's laceration and dials 911]
[Amanda finds the bag of marijuana]
Amanda: "Mommy, what is this funny looking stuff in the bag?"
Katie: "Oh, that is--marijuana?! It must be Juan, Jose and Antonio who did this!"
A few minutes later
[Paramedics arrive on the scene]
[Brett, Joel and the tridecaplets and their friends are taken to the hospital by ambulances]
[Some parents of the tridecaplets' friends go with them in the ambulances, while their spouses stay with the siblings of the tridecaplets' friends]
[Katie sobs]
[Juan, Jose, Antonio, Rachel, Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom, Mrs. Wilson, and the families of the tridecaplets' friends go home]
[The ambulance arrive to the hospital with Brett, Joel, the tridectuplets and their friends]
== Aftermath ==
=== Katie Loses It ===
Aunt Theresa: "After Brett, Joel, the tridecaplets, and their friends went to hospital, we all went home and my sister was mad with the triplets."
[Katie and her family gets home]
[A minute later, the triplets are about to hit Katie]
[Katie's temper explodes]
Katie: "JUAN DIEGO, JOSE LUIS AND ANTONIO FRANCESCO HUDSON, YOU'RE BANNED FROM SEEING YOUR FRIENDS FOR 20 WEEKS, YOU WILL NOT BE NEAR A SCREEN FOR A MONTH! YOU WILL NOT PLAY OUTSIDE FOR 6 MONTHS, AND YOU WILL DO HOMEWORK EVERYDAY, ESPECIALLY ON WEEKENDS AND YOU WILL ALSO EAT WHATEVER WE'RE EATING, ESPECIALLY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES! YOU'RE ALSO LUCKY THAT ME, AUNT THERESA, GRANDMA SUSIE, GRANDPA TOM, MRS. WILSON, RACHEL AND THE PARENTS OF YOUR TRIDECAPLET SIBLINGS' FRIENDS DIDN'T PRESS CHARGES AGAINST YOU MISTERS!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DO NOT CHANGE THE PLACE WHERE WE'RE GOING TO AND CHANGE THE THEME, YOU THINK CANDY CRUSH SAGA IS BORING BUT GANGNAM STYLE IS FUN, BUT CANDY CRUSH SAGA IS NOT! YOU RUINED THEIR BIRTHDAY, YOU RUINED THEIR LIVES, YOU RUINED THEIR CHANCE TO PLAY WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND ESPECIALLY BRETT AND JOEL, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU RUINED THEIR CHANCE TO HAVE FUN!!!! FROM NOW ON UNTIL YOU BEHAVE THE RIGHT WAY, YOU WILL NOT BE GOING TO CHUCK E. CHEESE'S FOR LIFE! YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR LIFE!!!!! GO WRITE AN ESSAY ON WHAT YOU DONE AND SORRY NOTES TO THE PEOPLE AT THE PARTY AND DELIVER THEM PERSONALLY TO ALL THE KIDS AT THE HOSPITAL, TO RACHEL, TO MRS. WILSON AND TO THE PARENTS AND THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF THE TRIDECAPLETS' FRIENDS!!!!! ALSO, IF YOU ARE GOING TO ACT LIKE BABIES, YOU WILL BE TREATED LIKE BABIES AS WELL!!!!!
Aunt Theresa: "Me, my sister and my mother were about to spank my adoptive triplet nephews."
[Aunt Theresa and Grandma Susie arrive at the Hudsons' house with wooden spoons]
[Katie goes into the kitchen and grabs herself a wooden spoon]
Grandma Susie: "JUAN, JOSE AND ANTONIO, YOU WILL BE HIT BY THE WOODEN SPOONS FOR 5 MINUTES AND ALSO, DON'T MOVE!"
Aunt Theresa: "If you act like kindergartners during the spanking, we'll do it for 10 minutes."
Katie: "Hold still please."
Juan: "Why?"
[Katie puts Juan across her lap while Grandma Susie and Aunt Theresa do the same to Jose and Antonio respectively]
[The three women start spanking the triplets with wooden spoons]
Grandpa Tom: "DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU THREE ARE GETTING A SPANKING?!"
Jose: (crying and wailing) "BECAUSE WE RUINED THE TRIDECAPLETS' BIRTHDAY! The reason we did it is because you a stupid, ugly cow! I wish you never adopted us in the first place, you smelly w****!"
Juan: "GO F*** YOURSELVES, F***OTS!!!!"
Antonio: "YEAH ALSO, WE HATE CANDY CRUSH SAGA!"
Aunt Theresa: "IF YOU WANT TO CRY WE WILL DO IT HARDER!"
Juan (to Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie, and Grandpa Tom): "YOU FOUR ALWAYS FAVOR OUR UGLY TRIDECAPLET SIBLINGS AND OUR STUPID COUSINS, NOT US!"
Aunt Theresa: "They have better behaviors than you guys."
Grandpa Tom: "And what else did you do?"
Antonio: "WE RUINED THEIR LIVES!"
Jose: "WE STABBED THE STUPID TRIDECAPLETS AND OUR BRATTY COUSINS!"
5 minutes later
Katie: "GO WRITE AN ESSAY, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Antonio: "No!"
Grandma Susie: "WELL, TOO BAD!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO! Pooey, what is that awful smell?"
Juan: "F*** you!"
Jose: "You are a stupid, fat cow!"
Aunt Theresa: "IF YOU DON'T DO IT BY THE TIME I COUNT TO 30, THEN YOU WILL GET ANOTHER 5 MINUTE SPANKING!!!!! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT!" (continues counting)
[The triplets reluctantly begin writing their essays]
[Katie finds a bag of marijuana in the triplets' room]
=== Writing an Essay ===
Aunt Theresa: "The triplets are writing essays that are not even essays and mean sorry letters."
[The triplets reluctantly begin writing, under the 4 adults' supervision]
[Juan's essay says, "Candy Crush Saga should be destroyed by Godzilla!"]
[Jose's essay says, "Chuck E. is a (bleep)!"]
[Antonio's essay says, "I wish you're all dead!"]
[Juan's letter says, "I'm not sorry!"]
[Jose's letter says, "Go to hell, Candy Crush Saga fans!"]
[Antonio's letter says, "Candy Crush Saga would never exist before they recover!"]
[Katie reads the essays and sorry letters out loud, then rubs them with a eraser]
Katie: "Now start them all over again!"
== The parents of the triplets' friends ground the triplets' friends ==
=== Steven ===
Aunt Theresa: "Steven is getting grounded by mother Ellen and father Carl."
Ellen: "Steven you're not going to see Juan, Jose, and Antonio anymore until your behavior gets much better."
Carl: "You will not see, talk or play with these boys."
[Steven flips off Ellen and Carl]
=== Chester ===
Aunt Theresa: "Arlene and James, who are Chester's parents has to make Chester not see Juan, Jose, and Antonio anymore."
Arlene: "CHESTER! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SEE JUAN, JOSE) AND ANTONIO ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY ARE A POOR INFLUENCE ON YOU!"
James: "FIRST OF ALL, THEY HAVE TO BE GROUNDED, SECOND OF ALL, THEY HAVE TO BE IN TIMEOUT, AND LASTLY, THEY ARE BANNED FROM SEEING, YOU, STEVEN, WILLIAM, AND GABE PERMANENTLY!"
[Chester bites Arlene on the hand and hits James on the neck]
=== William ===
Aunt Theresa: "William's mom and dad, Marisol and Daryl respectively has to forbid him from seeing the triplets."
Marisol: "William, you'll not see Juan, Jose, and Antonio anymore until you learn how to behave!"
Daryl: "These boys have a very bad influence."
[William smacks Marisol on the face and kicks Daryl on the stomach]
=== Gabe ===
Aunt Theresa: "The parents of Gabe, Janet, and Kevin has to make Gabe not see the triplets anymore and ground him."
Janet: "You know what Gabe, you will not hang out with Juan, Jose ,and Antonio anymore!"
Kevin: "I'll call their mother and tell her not to let them play with you permanently."
[Gabe punches Janet's breasts and strikes Kevin on the hip]
=== Aftermath ===
Aunt Theresa: "OMG! The triplets' friends almost gave their parents the middle finger!"
[Steven, Chester, William and Gabe flip off all Ellen, Carl, Arlene, James, Marisol, Daryl, Janet, and Kevin]
== Katie visits Brett, Joel, the tridecaplets and their friends ==
Aunt Theresa: "We have to see Brett, Joel, the tridecaplets and their friends to see how they're doing."
[Katie, Aunt Theresa & Grandma Susie drag Juan, Jose & Antonio to Katie's car]
[Grandpa Tom follows them, carrying the apology letters]
=== Visiting Brett and Joel ===
Aunt Theresa: "I was with the boys because I'm their mom and I have to say 'hi' to them."
[Brett and Joel are in their hospital beds playing Candy Crush Saga]
[Aunt Theresa arrives dragging the triplets]
Aunt Theresa: "Hi Brett and Joel, how are you?"
Brett: "Joel and I are playing Candy Crush Saga. We're up to Level 8,000 and it's an insanely hard jelly level with 4 colors."
Nurse: "They're in recovery, Miss Hudson."
Aunt Theresa: "Good."
Nurse: "They got a 1 hour surgery before the recovery."
Aunt Theresa: "Well, my nephews are going to give something to my sons."
[Antonio smacks Doctor on the face]
Doctor: "Ow! Don't you dare slap me on the face!"
Aunt Theresa: " "
=== Visiting the Tridecaplets ===
Aunt Theresa: "My sister Katie has to see the tridecaplets since she's their mother."
[Katie enters the tridectuplets' hospital room without Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom]
Katie: "Hello, how are you thirteen doing?"
Alice: "We're doing good, mom."
Katie: "After we talk to you, we'll visit your friends"
[Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom drag the triplets to the Tridecaplets' hospital room]
[The tridecaplets are playing Candy Crush Saga in their hospital beds]
Katie: "So, what levels are you up to in Candy Crush Saga?"
Ethan: "8,039."
Ryan: "7,655"
Jonathan: "6,861."
Kyle: "8,656."
Liam: "7,387."
Eric: "9,041."
Sarah: "7,956."
Kelly: "8,796."
Alice: "9,849."
Julia: "10,832."
Amanda: "7,036."
Abby: "8,804."
Milo: "7,584."
Katie: " ! Well, your brothers have something for you."
[The triplets hand the tridecaplets their apology letters each]
=== Visiting the Tridecaplets' Friends and their Teacher ===
Aunt Theresa: "We have to see the tridecaplets' friends and Mrs. Wilson, who is their first grade teacher."
[Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom drag the triplets to the first ward where one of the tridecaplets' friends is staying]
[We see a montage of the triplets handing their apology letters to the tridecaplets' friends]
[The family are visiting the last ward where one of the tridecaplets' friends is staying]
Katie: "Now we have to see your teacher."
[Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom and the triplets leave the hospital and go in to their car]
[Katie drives to Mrs. Wilson's house]
[Aunt Theresa rings the doorbell]
Mrs. Wilson: "Hello! What can I do for you?"
Katie: "These three VERY naughty boys have got something to give you."
[The triplets hand Mrs. Wilson their apology letters]
Katie: "They were forced to write essays on what they had done and sorry letters to everyone participating in the party and they have to hand deliver them personally to all of them."
=== Visiting Rachel ===
Aunt Theresa: "Now we have to see the tridecaplets' godmother, Rachel."
[Grandma Susie rings the doorbell]
[Rachel opens the door]
Rachel: "Hi Katie and Theresa! What can I do for you?"
Katie: "These boys have something to give you."
[Juan, Jose and Antonio hand Rachel their apology letters]
Aunt Theresa: "They had to write their letters of apologies for their actions."
=== Visiting the Families of the Tridecaplets' Friends ===
Aunt Theresa: "We have to see one of the tridecaplets' friends, since they have 45 friends and we have 44 friends left to visit."
[Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom and the triplets arrive at the first house of one of the tridecaplets' friends]
[Juan snatches Katie's cell phone and deletes Candy Crush Saga]
[Jose flips off Aunt Theresa]
[Katie rings the doorbell]
== The tridecaplets' birthday dinner ==
=== Katie books the cruise ===
Aunt Theresa: "My sister booked the Boulder Amusement Park Carnival Cruise for the tridecaplets' birthday dinner."
[Katie is on her phone playing Candy Crush Saga]
[The phone rings]
Katie: "Hello?"
Waiter: "Are you here to call me for your tridecaplets' birthday?"
Katie: "Yes."
Waiter: "How many people do you need?"
Katie: "219 people. My tridecaplets have 3 friends and each friend has 1 brother, 1 sister, 1 mother and 1 father. Their godmother Rachel and teacher Mrs. Phoebe Wilson is also coming too and so are my parents, my sister and my two nephews."
Waiter: "The cruise has 5 stories, and each story has 50 tables, and each table has 5 chairs so I think it is a perfect number for that celebration."
Katie: "I tell my triplets not to bring their friends over because the tridecaplets can make their own party. As a matter of fact, I decided to end the friendships."
Waiter: "Where is it?"
Katie: "Boulder Amusement Park Carnival Cruise, The tridectuplets' 7th birthday party and it's at 5am-11pm."
=== Preparation ===
=== 4:00 AM ===
Katie (yawning): "Kids, time to get up. Let's go to your tridectuplet siblings' birthday."
Juan, Jose and Antonio: "No! We want to stay with our friends!"
Katie: "Your tridectuplet siblings have to be there by now but you have to be there by 5am to have more time to play Candy Crush Saga with their friends."
Jose: "Candy Crush Saga sucks!"
Katie: "I know you and your triplet brothers don't like that game but it's your tridectuplet siblings' theme."
=== At the Carnival Cruise Party (5:00 AM) ===
Aunt Theresa: "We're sitting at the table, playing Candy Crush Saga while waiting for dinner."
[The Hudson Family, Rachel, the families of the tridecaplets' friends and Mrs. Wilson are all seated at the table]
[The tridecaplets, their friends and Brett and Joel are all playing Candy Crush Saga on their respective iPods and iPads]
[Mrs. Wilson is also playing Candy Crush Saga on her cell phone]
Mrs. Wilson: "What the flying fuck?! I can't get past my Level 3,501! I can't get that 2 chocolate balls with another chocolate balls in 40 moves with 5 colors! This is so crazy and how did King.com make this level like that!"
Katie: "Me too! I can't get passed Level 4,672! I can't get all the jellies cleared in a short amount of moves with 6 colors and too many layers of the icing!"
Aunt Theresa: "I also can't get past 9,356! Too many ingredients are misplaced with few moves and many candy colors!"
Grandma Susie: "Me four! This 7,989 is driving me crazy because the orders are extremely difficult and almost impossible; even with boosters, especially with 3 colors and you have to do 250 million striped candies in 50 moves!"
Grandpa Tom: "I can't get past this 9,835! There are 144 triple jellies and lots of them are behind many layers of icing and there are only 40 moves to clear them with 5 colors!"
[The family (except for Juan, Jose and Antonio), Rachel, the tridecaplets' friends and their families, and Mrs. Wilson continue playing Candy Crush Saga]
[Juan, Jose and Antonio snatch one of the waiters' iPods, then play Gangnam Style on YouTube and dances it on one of the tables naked]
Antonio: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! BOYS AND GIRLS OF ALL AGES, PRESENTING, THE GANGNAM STYLE BY JUAN, JOSE AND ANTONIO!"
[All the people get distracted, even the Hudson Family while playing Candy Crush Saga]
Juan: "Ahhhhhh, sexy ladies! Wop, wop, wop, wop, Oppa Gangnam Style!"
[Everyone covers their ears]
Katie: "SIT DOWN! JUAN, JOSE AND ANTONIO!"
[Jose runs to a 25-year-old woman and tries to knock down her baby's high chair, then the baby cries]
25-year-old woman: "Oh no, are you okay?"
[Juan pokes a waitress's face with a fork]
Waitress: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!"
[Antonio runs to the employee's cooking room and smashes the ovens with a frying pan]
Waiter: "Young man, you do not go to this room and a guardian or parent is not with you and now you've damaged the ovens! They costed over thousands of dollars in total!"
Antonio: "BURN IN H(bleep)!"
[Antonio laughs]
[Waiter ignores the rude comment]
[The triplets push the waiters and waitresses up and down, trying to drop their foods that they're offering]
[One of the waiters serves some vegetable soup]
[Everyone eats the vegetable soup]
Everyone: "Delicious."
30 minutes later (5:30 AM)
Brett and Joel: "Mom, can we go to the carnival with the tridectuplets and their friends?"
Aunt Theresa: "Oh, of course!"
[Aunt Theresa brings Brett and Joel, the tridectuplets and their friends up to the carnival and they all play]
Juan: "Ugh! Why can't we go to the carnival!"
Katie: "Since you and your triplet brothers were trashing the carnival cruise, you will not go to the carnival with Brett, Joel, the tridectuplets and their friends."
Jose: "MOMMY IS A PIECE OF F(bleep)!"
[Antonio attacks one of the family members of the tridectuplets' friends]
Guest: "Ow! That hurt!"
cut to:
Attendant: "Hello! What can I do for you?"
Aunt Theresa: "I brought these kids to the carnival since they finished their dinner."
Attendant: "How many people are going?"
Aunt Theresa: "60. These are my two sons, Brett and Joel, my tridectuplet nephews, and their friends ."
Attendant: "Okay, so one adult (18 and above) equals 5 dollars, and one child (below 18) equals 1 dollar so 60 dollars for these children of yours."
[Aunt Theresa hands her 10 dollar bill and 50 dollar bill]
Attendant: "Bye! Thank you and have fun!"
Aunt Theresa: "You too!"
cut to:
[The triplets runs to an autistic  kid and bites him]
[Autistic  kid runs crying to his mother]
Autistic  kid's mother: "What's the matter, honey?"
Autistic  kid: "These boys bit me!"
[The triplets laugh]
Katie: "Not funny at all."
cut to:
Aunt Theresa: "So where do you want to go?"
Joel: "Superdupercoaster! It is the highest roller coaster in this world! Reaching up to 678 feet!"
Aunt Theresa: "Good idea, Joel. I'll let you bring Brett, your tridectuplet cousins and their friends!"
Alice: "Aunt Theresa, I'm scared of roller coasters!"
Brett: "Don't worry Alice, I'll hold your hand."
1 hour later (6:30 AM)
[The triplets try to escape from the cruise and run to their friends, Steven, Chester, William and Gabe with their clothes off]
Alice: "Mom, what are Juan, Jose and Antonio doing?"
Katie: "Looks like trouble's happening."
[Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom scoop the triplets up from seeing Steven, William, Chester and Gabe]
Juan, Jose and Antonio (crying, screaming and wailing): "WE WANTED STEVEN, CHESTER, WILLIAM AND GABE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid f***ing b****!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
[Kyle, Jonathan and Ryan try to forbid the triplets from seeing their friends]
Jonathan: "Juan, Jose and Antonio, you do not escape from the cruise just because you three wanted to see your friends. You're here to celebrate the birthday party with me and my tridecaplet sisters and brothers, our friends and my family."
[Antonio grabs a sledgehammer and hits Jonathan on the face with it]
Antonio: "This is for being a horrible person!"
[Jonathan runs crying to Brett and Joel]
Brett; "Jonathan, are you okay?"
Jonathan (sobbing): "Juan, Jose and Antonio hurt me!"
[Joel tries to confiscate the sledgehammer from Juan, Jose and Antonio, but Joel missed and slipped, and also came crying to Alice]
Alice: "Now what?"
Brett: "Alice, Joel got slipped from confiscating the sledgehammer from Juan, Jose and Antonio."
Alice: "Not only Jonathan was crying for being hit by a sledgehammer but Joel got upset because he missed and slipped from confiscating the sledgehammer."
90 minutes later (8:00 AM)
[Brett, Joel, the tridecaplets, and their friends are all coloring Candy Crush Saga coloring pages]
cut to:
[Jessica and Audrey are taking a walk]
[Audrey licks Jessica on the face]
Jessica: "Disgusting, Audrey!"
cut to:
Jose: "Can all of this Candy Crush Saga stop?"
Antonio: "Yeah! Let's replace them with Gangnam Style! Oh, oh, oh, Oppa Gangnam Style!"
[The triplets snatches Katie's phone and invites their friends to come to the party to replace Candy Crush Saga with Gangnam Style]
2 hours later (10:00 AM)
[Everyone goes into the dancing room]
[Juan, Jose and Antonio are seasick and not interested in dancing]
[The triplets form a conga line and run around the dance room, while DJ Cover This's rendition of the Law and Order theme by Mike Post is playing.]
Jose: "ALL ABOARD THE MEXICAN EXPRESS, COMING THROUGH!"
Julia: "IT IS NOT THE MEXICAN EXPRESS!"
[They bump into everyone else one by one, causing him or her to fall down and injure his or herself]
Katie: "THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DONE FOR THE DAY!"
Antonio: "Get back, or else I'll set off the pipe bomb in the engine room, and then the ship goes KA-BOOM!"
[Antonio is carrying a pipe bomb]
[An adult in a Tiffi (the main character of Candy Crush Saga) costume arrives from the bathroom]
Adult in Tiffi Costume: "Are you guys ready to play Candy Crush Saga on the Smartboard?"
[Juan smacks Adult in Tiffi costume on the face]
[Jose bites Adult in Tiffi costume on the leg]
[Antonio flips Adult in Tiffi costume the bird off]
Adult in Tiffi Costume: "OW! YOU'RE HURTING ME!"
[The triplets take off the head of the Tiffi costume, revealing Mrs. Wilson's face]
Mrs. Wilson: "AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
[Mrs. Wilson screams in horror while the triplets laugh at her]
Joel: "Sorry, it was my adoptive Mexican triplet cousins who did it."
Mrs. Wilson: "It's okay, Joel Hudson."
Joel: "Just call me Joel."
Antonio: (with the megaphone) "Attention, everybody on this ship! We have planted a pipe bomb in the engine room and it will explode in 3 minutes! If mom does not let us talk to our friends on FaceBook, we will blow up the ship right now!"
[Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom, Rachel, Brett, Joel, Mrs. Wilson, the tridecaplets, their friends, and their friends' family members screaming]
[Mrs. Wilson puts her head back in the costume]
Mrs. Wilson: "Are you ready to play Candy Crush Saga?"
[The tridecaplets, their friends, Brett, and Joel raise their hands]
Captain: "Somebody placed a pipe bomb in the engine room! Will anyone please remove it?"
Katie: "Sorry, it was my triplets who did it."
[Katie removes the pipe bomb and throws it out of the cruise]
Captain: "Thank you, lady."
Abby: "Mommy, Antonio put his weiner in my mouth. It felt gross and weird and he started touching me in no-no places."
=== Aftermath ===
Aunt Theresa: "My sister was 2 times angrier than before and double grounded them and they also have to get a spanking that is 10 minutes and 2 times harder."
Katie: "OH MY GOD, JUAN DIEGO HUDSON, JUAN LUIS HUDSON AND ANTONIO FRANCESCO HUDSON! YOU'VE RUINED ANOTHER PARTY FOR THEM WHICH MEANS I'LL DOUBLE YOUR GROUNDING TIME WHICH MEANS YOU WILL BE GROUNDED FOR A DOUBLE LIFE, YOU WILL NOT SEE, PLAY AND TALK TO STEVEN, CHESTER, WILLIAM AND GABE FOR 40 WEEKS, YOU WILL ALSO EAT ALL THE HEALTHY FOODS THAT WE ARE EATING, ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES! YOU WILL NOT BE NEAR A SCREEN FOR 2 MONTHS! YOU WILL ALSO NOT PLAY OUTSIDE FOR A YEAR! YOU RUINED THEIR PARTIES, YOU RUINED THEIR LIVES, YOU ALSO RUINED THEIR SECOND CHANCE TO PLAY WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND MORE ESPECIALLY BRETT AND JOEL, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY , YOU RUINED THEIR CHANCE TO HAVE MORE FUN!!!! YOU'RE ALSO LUCKY THAT YOUR TRIDECAPLETS, BRETT, JOEL AND THEIR FRIENDS DIDN'T GO TO HOSPITAL AGAIN AND ME, AUNT THERESA, GRANDMA SUSIE, GRANDPA TOM, MRS. WILSON, RACHEL AND THE PARENTS OF YOUR TRIDECAPLETS FRIENDS DIDN'T PRESS CHARGES ON YOU! NOW YOU WILL DEFINITELY WRITE A DOUBLE ESSAY ON WHAT YOU DONE AND DOUBLE SORRY LETTERS TO THE PEOPLE PARTICIPATING IN THE PARTY EXCEPT FOR YOURSELVES BECAUSE YOU THREE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE BANNED FROM THE CARNIVAL CRUISE FOR LIFE, JUST LIKE I GROUNDED YOU AFTER THE CHUCK E. CHEESE'S PARTY! I'M EXTREMELY SERIOUS WITH YOU AND ME, AUNT THERESA, AND GRANDMA SUSIE WILL GIVE YOU A TEN MINUTE SPANKING THAT IS 2 TIMES HARDER AND LONGER THAN THE LAST SPANKING!"
[The triplets fart on the tridecaplets, Brett and Joel]
Alice: "Ewwww! Disgusting!"
[The adults (except for Grandpa Tom) grab wooden spoons, send the triplets to their room and spank their rear ends]
Katie, Aunt Theresa and Grandma Susie: "Juan, Jose and Antonio. You three will get a 10 minute spanking."
Katie: "Hold still please."
Antonio: "Why?"
[The 3 women spank the triplets with the wooden spoons]
[Grandpa Tom comes in]
Grandpa Tom: "DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU THREE ARE GETTING A HARDER AND LONGER SPANKING?"
Antonio (screaming and crying): "BECAUSE WE RUINED THE TRIDECAPLETS' SECOND PARTY because we don't like them!!!!!! GO F*** YOURSELF, YOU F***ING STUPID UGLY FAT COW!"
Jose: "I WISH YOU NEVER ADOPTED US IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
Juan: "WE LOVE GANGNAM STYLE AND WE HATE CANDY CRUSH SAGA!"
Antonio: "I DON'T LIKE YOU!"
[Katie's temper explodes]
Katie: "SHUT UP YOU BRATS"
10 minutes later
Katie: "NOW GO TAKE OUT YOUR PENCILS AND SHEETS OF PAPER AND START WORKING ON YOUR DOUBLE ESSAY AND DOUBLE SORRY LETTERS!"
=== Katie calls the parents of the triplets' friends to end their friendships ===
Aunt Theresa: "My sister has to call the mothers of the triplets' friends to end their friendships."
==== Steven ====
Katie: "Hi there Ellen, just wanted to know that can you make Steven not play with my triplets anymore?"
Ellen: "Okay Katie. Why is that?"
==== Chester ====
Katie: "Good morning, Arlene, I wanted you to make Chester not play with Juan, Jose and Antonio anymore."
Arlene: "Alright, I'm on it."
==== William ====
Katie: "Hi Marisol, I decided for you make William not socialize with the triplets anymore."
Marisol: "Thanks, Ms. Hudson."
==== Gabe ====
Katie: "Hello, Janet, I'm making sure Juan, Jose and Antonio will not play with Gabe anymore."
Janet: "Sure, if it depends on Gabe's behavior."
== The tridecaplets reveal their birthday presents ==
Aunt Theresa: "The tridecaplets revealed their presents from everyone that participated in their party except for their mean brothers since their gift to them was a giant real live Burmese Python that scared them."
=== Presents from Katie ===
[The tridecaplets decide on their presents from Brett, Joel, their friends, Rachel, Aunt Theresa, Katie, Mrs. Wilson, Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom to open]
Abby: "Let's open presents from mommy first!"
[The tridecaplets open their presents from Katie]
Kelly: "Wow, it's a Disney Frozen girl's rectangular lunch kit!"
Eric: "Nerf N-Strike Elite Steongarm Blaster!"
Liam: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie basic Leonardo figure!"
Milo: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Shellraiser!"
Amanda: "Disney Frozen Sparkle Anna of Arendelle doll!"
Ryan: "A boy's 16 inch Rallye pro Maxx bike!"
Abby: "Shimmer and Sparkle Cra-Z Loom Rubber Band bracelet maker! And Josefina Montoya's oven & food!"
Alice: "Orbeez Luxury Spa!"
Sarah: "18 inch Avigo Girls 2Hot bike and Candy Crush Saga crochet hat!"
Kyle: "Minecraft Foam diamond sword!"
Jonathan: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie basic Donatello figure!"
Ethan: "Crayola Magnetic double-sided easel!"
Jonathan: "Kurio 7s Android family Tablet!"
Abby: "Thank you mommy!"
Other tridecaplet sibings: "Thanks mommy!"
Katie: "You're welcome!"
=== Presents from Brett and Joel ===
Ryan: "Whose presents shall we open next?"
Sarah: "Let's open presents from Brett and Joel!"
Kyle: "We hope it's Candy Crush Saga!"
Amanda: "Hmm, which one shall we open first, Brett or Joel?"
Liam: "Let's open our presents from Brett first!"
==== Brett ====
[The tridecaplets open their presents from Brett]
Julia: "Shopkins 12 Pack!"
Sarah: "Monster High Mansters Gil Webber & Deuce Gorgon dolls, 2-pack!"
Alice: "I got nabi headphones!"
Milo: " "
Ethan: " "
Ryan: " "
Jonathan: " "
Abby: "Monster High Picnic Casket 2-pack! <pJosefina Montoya's baking set!"
Liam: " "
Kelly: "Zoomer interactive dog! And it's purple!"
Eric: " "
Amanda: "Girls' 16 inch Ralleye glitter bike!"
Kyle: "Candy Crush Saga plush pillow!"
==== Joel ====
Ethan: "Now let's open presents from Joel!"
[The tridecaplets open their presents from Joel]
Kelly: " "
Ryan: " "
Amanda: "Crayola 200-piece Masterworks art piece!"
Sarah: "Candy Crush Saga bow!"
Kyle: " "
Abby: "Candy Crush bag charm! Josefina Montoya's night shift her bed & bedding!"
Liam: " "
Alice: "Candy Crush Saga beach tote bag!"
Milo: " "
Jonathan: "Candy Crush Saga cuff links!"
Eric: "LEGO Batman the Movie!"
Ethan: "Candy Crush Saga's Odus the Owl!"
Julia: "Candy Crush Saga earrings!"
Eric: "Let's open presents from Aunt Theresa next!"
=== Presents from Aunt Theresa ===
[The tridecaplets open their presents from Aunt Theresa]
Abby: "I got Josefina Montoya's summer dress!"
=== gifts from Rachel ===
Abby: "Lookit! I got a Desert flower dress just for me!"
=== gifts from Mrs. Wilson ===
Abby: "Josefina Montoya's goat Sombrita!"
=== presents from Grandma Susie ===
Abby: "Josefina Montoya's feast dress!"
=== presents from Grandpa Tom ===
Abby: "I got Josefina Montoya American Girl doll along with her accessories!"
Category:Transcripts
Category:Birthday Transcripts
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