Headhunters 3: The Hawaii Five-0

==Introduction==
Oh great and merciful Fantasy Gods, rulers of all, just and kind. We come here today to honor you, to thank you, to reaffirm our belief in you. You are wise. You are holy. And we are yours, eternally. 
==In Memorium: Bad VRs==
We all know it. I don't need to beat around the bush. We felt it last night, and probably again this morning. This was the big one. This was the white whale. Everyone wanted to beat Bad VRs. It's a testament to how good their strategy was, how effective their merger and auctions were, and how much of a villain they became. Everyone wants to win, but I think anyone who outlasted Bad VRs has a little added satisfaction. They get eliminated now, at least they beat the alliance teams. And really the hatred towards them should be taken as a compliment, not a diss. It was them vs. the world. No one hates the Jaguars (except maybe Jags fans). People hate the Patriots. They hate winners. They hate the top dawgs. Bad VRs was the favored to win it all and now....now who the hell knows what is going to happen? 
Real quick: where do you think Bad VRs went awry? Having Chubb and Rodgers and Jones on the bye certainly didn't help. Losing Deebo didn't help. But they were still projected for 238 points. I personally think putting all your fantasy eggs in the same average Kansas City basket was what did them in. Going against Denver, which isn't really the best matchup, and starting all three key members of the KC offense, it was just not the best situation in a league this small. I do think this was more of a play out of necessity than genius (clearly), but there still was plenty of juice on the waivers to maybe avoid this situation. Of course, who do you sit? You can't sit Kelce. You can't sit Hill. And both sucked. So who knows. 
The best part is when their only hope of survival hinged on the Buffalo defense getting decimated by the Patriots on Monday night football. Patriots did us all a favor by both winning and also not having a great offensive night. 
For Chantel, only a slight improvementupon her 2020 finish. Still more than a lot of other teams can say. They started the year by kicking out Bobecue Chicken, only to still somehow be out-lived by him. Cruel sport. 
For KVR, you have to wonder if they have what it takes to compete in this league. Lot of off-season questions for this guy. 
Ultimately, who cares? We're not here to read. We're here to celebrate. Ding dong, the witch is dead. 
Bad VRs:
==Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)==
Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)
Team 	2021 Finish	2020 Finish	2019 Finish
Pats a bitch 	20th (-1) 	19th 	N/A
It's Blitz! Track 2 	19th (-16) 	3rd (-2) 	1st
Shotti's Bugatti 	18th (-5) 	13th 	N/A
Hasta Laviska Baby 	17th (-7) 	10th (+2) 	12th
Ya Hate 2 See It 	16th (-7) 	9th (+7) 	16th
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	15th (-14) 	1st (+16) 	17th
CP 	14th (-8) 	6th (-4) 	2nd
The Guilloteam 	13th (-6) 	7th (-4)) 	3rd
Henry VIII 	12th (-1) 	11th (-1) 	10th
Last Coach Standing 	11th (-9) 	2nd 	N/A
I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	10th (+6) 	16th (-11) 	5th
Beach McBungalow 	9th (+6) 	15th (-9) 	6th
Neck-Fix and Chill 	8th (+4) 	12th (-4) 	8th
Soul Survivor 	7th (+1) 	8th 	N/A
Bad Boys 	6th (+14) 	18th (-9) 	9th
==Dead Money==
Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.
Dead Money
Dead Money	% of Total Eliminated Cash
$6,494 	49%
==Week Fourteen-Seventeen==
Four weeks left in the season. One team cut each week until a champion is crowned.
==New Releases==
In addition to this week's new releases, Amari Cooper is still available via auction from Return of the Mac. Since his game was Thursday, he did not clear waivers in time and so he will clear with the new releases. The minimum bid is $30.
#Tyreek Hill
#Nick Chubb
#Eli Mitchell
#Stefon Diggs
#Travis Kelce
==Week Thirteen Bidding Results==
Week Thirteen Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid	Next Highest Bid
Joe Mixon 	Bad VRs 	$172 	$122 (The Titanic)
Nick Chubb 	Bad VRs 	$70 	$1 (Mac)
Alexander Mattison	The Titanic 	$37 	$31 (Bad VRs)
Mike Evans 	Bad VRs 	$36 	$0 (The Titanic)
Patrick Mahomes 	Bad VRs 	$28 	$1 (Bad VRs)
DeAndre Hopkins 	Sloppy Seconds 	$13 	$1 (Mac)
Derrick Henry 	Bad VRs 	$5 	N/A
Ezekiel Elliot 	Return of the Mac	$1 	$0 (The Titanic)
Darren Waller 	Return of the Mac	$1 	N/A
DJ Moore 	Return of the Mac	$1 	N/A
====Quick-hit thoughts====
*All that money and ultimatley, Bad VRs didn't know what to do with it. Just throwing shit all over the place in a week when top 10 players are being scooped up for free. Sad way to go out. 
*Sloppy upgrading from AJ Green to Hopkins for $13 is a great move.
*Derrick Henry, out for the season, costing more than Zeke Elliot is bananas.
*Players that went for free this week include: James Conner, Tyler Lockett, Melvin Gordon, Tony Pollard, and Tom Brady.
*Mac dropped DJ Moore after spending only a buck on him. He was later picked up for free by The Titanic. Something to note.
Last Year's most expensive week twelve player: Davante Adams ($99)
==Money Spent Per Week==
Money Spent Per Week
Week	Budget Spent 	Budget Spent (2020)	Budget Spent (2019)
2 	$9 (2 Players) 	$1173 (12 Players) 	$1339 (7 Players)
3 	$1283 (10 Players)	$1033 (7 Players) 	$1902 (15 Players)
4 	$657 (8 Players) 	$1182 (11 Players) 	$1614 (11 Players)
5 	$1376 (11 Players)	$181 (4 Players) 	1743 (14 Players)
6 	$1231 (10 Players)	$1542 (10 Players) 	$1018 (11 Players)
7 	$965 (10 Players) 	$1494 (13 Players) 	$1036 (9 Players)
8 	$2159 (15 Players)	$1938 (17 Players) 	$630 (7 Players)
9 	$1059 (12 Players)	$1454 (12 Players) 	$624 (6 Players)
10 	$1393 (9 Players) 	$712 (6 Players) 	$386 (8 Players)
11 	$1121 (16 Players)	$777 (8 Players) 	$176 (6 Players)
12 	$643 (7 Players) 	$385 (5 Players) 	$93 (6 Players)
13 	$364 (10 Players) 	$277 (6 Players) 	$13 (3 Players)
==Week Thirteen Results==
Week Thirteen Results
Finish (Last Week)	Player 	Total Points
1(6) 	Return of the Mac 	290.64
2(1) 	Sloppy Seconds 	267.57
3(4) 	Remdawg Forever 	195.09
4(4) 	The Titanic 	191.16
5(5) 	Out of Luck 	154.93
6(2) 	Bad VRs 	146.81
7 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	0
8 	Beach McBungalow 	0
9 	I Can Dere-lick My Own balls	0
10 	Last Matts Stanging 	0
11 	Henry VIII 	0
12 	The Guilloteam 	0
13 	CP 	0
14 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	0
15 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	0
16 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	0
17 	Shotti's Bugatti 	0
18 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	0
19 	Bad Boys 	0
20 	Pats a bitch 	0
*
==2021 Draft Dodgers==
Team Results Based on Draft Position
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Beach McBungalow 	12
2 	Return of the Mac 	ALIVE
3 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	11
4 	Bad Boys 	13
5 	Pats a Bitch (Steve Blackman's Nun)	2
6 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	12
7 	Henry VIII 	10
8 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	6
9 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	7
10 	Out of Luck 	ALIVE
11 	Soul Survivor 	13
12 	@FFDraftScott 	ALIVE
13 	Shotti's Bugatti 	5
14 	Last Coach Standing 	10
15 	Bobecue Chicken (Sloppy Seconds) 	ALIVE
16 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	4
17 	The Guilloteam 	10
18 	RemDawg Forever 	ALIVE
19 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	8
20 	CP 	9
==Kings of the Castle==
No time this week but just assume everyone still in it has done a good job so far. 
==Average Scores of Eliminated Teams==
Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Played
I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	194.02 	11
The Guilloteam 	174.95 	10
Bad Boys 	174.03 	13
Soul Survivor 	171.81 	13
CP 	167.71 	7
Ya Hate 2 See It 	165.83 	7
Hasta Laviska Baby 	165.26 	6
Beach McBungalow 	161.59 	12
Neck-Fix and Chill 	161.37 	12
Shotti's Bugatti 	153.62 	5
Last Coach Standing 	148.37 	10
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	147.76 	8
Henry VIII 	147.32 	10
Pats a bitch 	147.32 	2
It's Blitz! Track 2 	136.14 	4
Nearly identical scoring average for the two teams eliminated this week as they finish within three points of each other on the overall season scoring.
==Narrow Defeats==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
Ya Hate 2 See It 	0.96 	7
It's Blitz! Track 2 	7.06 	4
Last Coach Standing 	8.80 	10
Henry VIII 	8.80 	10
Bad Boys 	8.12 	13
Soul Survivor 	8.12 	13
The Guilloteam 	11.17 	10
CP 	12.12 	9
Shotti's Bugatti 	14.37 	5
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	20.81 	8
Hasta Laviska Baby 	23.24 	6
I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	23.35 	11
Neck-Fix and Chill 	23.95 	12
Beach McBungalow 	45.91 	12
Pats a bitch 	N/A 	2
==Rulers of the Kingdom==
2021 first place finishers:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Return of the Mac 	208.47
2 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	249.61
3 	RemDawg Forever 	215.73
4 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	235.97
5 	The Titanic 	264.33
6 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls (2)	239.21
7 	Bad VRs 	228.07
8 	Bad VRs (2) 	212.18
9 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls (3)	203.79
10 	Bad VRs (3) 	206.74
11 	The Titanic (2) 	246.55
12 	Sloppy Seconds 	226.92
13 	Return of the Mac (2) 	290.64
Mac is narrowly beaten out for the top score of all time by 2020's week 14 performance from Derek, a 290.73 week. Still a great week and Mac goes from Dungeon Dweller to King. 
==Dungeon Dwellers==
2021 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:
Low Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Bobecue Chicken 	132.96
2 	Mixon Beer with Liquor	118.90
3 	Return of the Mac 	120.63
4 	Shotti's Bugatti 	125.79
5 	The Guilloteam 	132.43
6 	Out of Luck 	121.70
7 	RemDawg Forever 	114.48
8 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	129.23
9 	Last Matts Standing 	128.65
10 	Neck-Fix and Chill (2)	150.78
11 	RemDawg Forever (2) 	133.03
12 	Return of the Mac (2) 	167.39
13 	Out of Luck (2) 	154.93
==Single Season Scoring Records==
As teams get eliminated their season will be added to the record books. Even surviving an extra two weeks, Bad VRs just barely top Keeling's 2021 record. I can't believe how good that team was...
All-Tme Single Season HH Point Records
Score 	Player 	Year
3428.76	CP 	2019
3402.18	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2019
3015.53	Mixon Beer 	2020
2997.67	The Guilloteam 	2019
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	2020
2743.25	@FFDraftScott 	2020
2733.07	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2020
2709.59	Mac 	2019
2422.98	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	2019
2377.31	The Guilloteam 	2020
2285.51	CP 	2020
2282.91	Out of Luck 	2020
2262.36	Bad Boys 	2021
2233.57	Soul Survivor 	2021
2134.22	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	2021
2046.35	LIVEWithIt 	2019
1941.63	Bobecue Chicken 	2019
1939.02	Beach McBungalow 	2021
1936.45	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2021
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	2020
1749.51	The Guilloteam 	2021
1736.99	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2019
1611.76	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2020
1512.91	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2020
1509.41	CP 	2021
1483.70	Last Coach Standing 	2021
1473.18	Henry VIII 	2021
1439.40	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2020
1357.00	Henry VIII 	2019
1238.56	Bluedevils 	2019
1182.09	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	2021
1160.81	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2021
1132.61	Henry VIII 	2020
1116.98	Shotti's Bugatti 	2020
1055.63	Mac 	2020
1049.89	LIVEWithIt 	2020
991.57 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2021
975.59 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2019
768.10 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2021
717.82 	Out of Luck 	2019
713.12 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	2020
544.55 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2021
481.22 	@FFDraftScott 	2019
459.96 	Bobecue Chicken 	2020
294.62 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2021
286.36 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2019
262.69 	Bad Boys 	2020
115.16 	Mixon Beer 	2019
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2020
==All-Time Combined Points Scored==
As teams get eliminated, their updated totals will be added to the record books. While both teams breach the top-10, neither is close to hitting the top-3. Mac had an insane performance this week and now I don't know exactly how high the ceiling is for this team. They've already become just the fourth team to break 6,000 total points. They'll need to average an un-obtainable 305.60 to finish atop this list, but top-3 is well within reach. 
All-Time Combined Points Records
Score 	Player 	Years Played
7223.68	CP 	3
7124.49	The Guilloteam 	3
6679.80	It's Blitz! Track 2 	3
5270.32	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	3
5186.35	Neck-Fix and Chill 	3
5045.26	Beach McBungalow 	3
4463.77	Last Coach Standing 	2
4312.78	Mixon Beer 	3
4051.36	Soul Survivor 	2
4000.46	Bad Boys 	3
3962.79	Henry VIII 	3
3765.22	Return of the Mac 	2
3406.56	Hasta Laviska Baby 	3
3224.47	@FFDraftScott 	2
3058.93	Ya Hate 2 See It 	3
3000.73	Out of Luck 	2
2401.59	Bobecue Chicken 	2
1885.08	Shotti's Bugatti 	2
1238.56	Bluedevils 	1
698.91 	Phillip's Team 	1
391.19 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2
==Remaining Budget==
Remaining Budget as of 12/7/2021
Player 	Total Budget
Sloppy Seconds 	$196
The Titanic 	$85
Return of the Mac 	$10
Out of Luck 	$7
RemDawg Forever 	$0
Bad VRs 	$0
Beach McBungalow 	0
Neck-Fix and Chill 	0
I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	0
Last Matts Standing 	0
The Guilloteam 	0
CP 	O
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	0
Ya Hate 2 See It 	0
Hasta Laviska Baby 	0
Shotti's Bugatti 	0
It's Blitz! Track 2 	0
Bad Boys 	0
Pats a bitch 	0
==Conclusion==
Happy Hunting.