SpongeBob's Progress

SpongeBob's Progress
SpongeBob learns about his past life as SquarePants Spongeson.
Season: 7 Episode: 16
Total Episode Count: 126
Prod. no.: 6ACX20
Featuring: SpongeBob SquarePants, SquarePants Spongeson, Lady Redsquirrel, Squidward, King Plankart III
Also Appearing: John Fishly, Fred Rechid, Tom Smith, Madame Claude, Pearl Spongeson, Carter Redsquirrel, Deamus, Monroe Bobber, Patrick Star, Bob Bobber, Nort Goldman, Paul Lynde, Madonna
Plot: Tom introduces his Jamaican cousin Madame Claude to his friends, saying she is a fortune teller and offering to have her read their palms and determine their past lives they have had; John was once a human whose legs were beaten by a man, and Fred was Jack the Ripper. When Claude reads SpongeBob's palm, she discovers that he was SquarePants Spongeson, the founder of Bikini Bottom (retconning the story of Miles "Chatterbox" Musket and the Magic clam established in "Fifteen Minutes of Whale Shame" as a myth), and proceeds to relay the events of his life.
In 17th century England, SquarePants Spongeson is on his way to his wedding to his true love, Lady Redsquirrel (Sandy); however, King Plankart III (Plankton), the ruthless ruler of England who wishes to take Redsquirrel for himself, exiles SquarePants to the New World and tells his distressed bride that he is dead, marrying her himself.
SquarePants establishes the colony of Bikini Bottom as a thriving white supremacist settlement and moves on with his life, marrying Pearla (Pearl). Redsquirrel, meanwhile, suffers a very open marriage with King Plankart, and continues to lament SquarePants' apparent death until King Planktart's jester (Squidward), under threat of death, secretly reveals to Redsquirrel that SquarePants is still alive. Redsquirrel immediately departs for Bikini Bottom and reunites with SquarePants, who "divorces" Pearl by shooting and killing her with a musket.
After learning of Redsquirrel's disappearance (six months after she first left), King Plankart makes his way to Bikini Bottom to reclaim his wife and kill SquarePants. Upon being discovered, SquarePants threatens to kill Plankart's Cockney army lieutenant (Patrick), while Plankart threatens to kill Redsquirrel. After exchanging threats without getting anywhere, SquarePants and Plankart decide to settle their differences with a talent show. For his act, King Plankart steals his jester's monstly unfunny joke (which the audience laughs at anyway); SquarePants and his friends, on the other hand, steal the show with a rocker number. This effectively wins over Redsquirrel, and she and SquarePants remain in Bikini Bottom to live happily ever after, presumably to the "old age" of 30, and Madame Claude also implied that Lady Redsquirrel died while giving birth.
==Cutaways==
#Alan Rickman's answering machine
#SpongeBob Strawberry
#Human John
#Jack the Ripper
#Comdy professors
#Olde Bikini Bottom abortion clinic
==Trivia==
*In the FOX rerun of this episode, there's a change in the newspaper that the Jester shows to Lady Redsquirrel. In the original there was a headline that read "Come to Bikini Bottom" and a smaller headline at the bottom that said "Decadent two room schoolhouse proposed." In the rerun, below a picture of SquarePants with his pants down is the headline "SquarePants Spongeson voted biggest as*hole in Bikini Bottom."
==Rating==
TV-14: DLSV
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Category:List of Family Sponge Episodes
Category:Family Sponge Season 7
Category:Family Sponge