Greg Letourneau

Greg "Dicky" Letourneau is a character role-played by Aspecticor.
== Description ==
Greg is a hardboiled former police detective from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan (Canada).
== History ==
In September 2008, Greg successfully captured a wanted serial killer named "The Saskatoon Strangler". Later that night, Greg celebrated his success by heavily drinking, and was subsequently found in his car in a Burger Shot drive-thru, unconscious from alcohol intoxication. Greg was arrested, and Benny, his beat partner of two years, reported him to the department for the incident. This left Greg feeling extremely betrayed.
Greg's charges for the incident included DUI, drunk & disorderly conduct, obstructing justice, reckless endangerment, resisting arrest, trespassing and a number of other misdemeanors. He was fined $100, let go from the force, and became a private investigator (PI).
The incident and the lower wages of a PI contributed to his wife Linda leaving him just 3 months later ("in December of '08"), which has been the subject of a number of Greg's famous sentimental and melancholic monologues. Greg discovered later that Linda was cheating on him with Benny, though the signs were there during the marriage, including Greg finding Benny's necktie in his bedroom. In the divorce settlement, Linda was awarded their marital home, leaving Greg to sleep in his car. Greg shares these musings with everyone he meets in a very neo-noir rambling style.
== Life in Los Santos ==
Shortly after moving to Los Santos, Greg had an almost-repeat incident of his infamous drive-thru trip. After another round of heavy drinking, Greg decided to visit the drive-thru of the Senior Buns. As most residents are aware, Senior Buns does not have a drive-thru, so Greg ended up plowing in through the double-glass doors and hitting the water fountain in the lobby, nearly running over Ginger Ale in the process. 
Greg can often be found solving mysteries and crusading for justice around town with Siobhan Thoroughbred and Chestanisberg Andersonisburgenson, and has a very questionable and oftentimes homoerotic bromance with Tom Tater.
== Trivia ==
* Letourneau's birthday of July 16th is in reference to the real life Burger King Foot Lettuce meme image's upload date.
* The Burger Shot backstory of Letourneau passing out in a drive-thru drunk is in reference to a real RCMP officer passing out in a Maple Ridge, British Columbia Burger Kinghttps://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/rcmp-officer-sleeping-drunk-burger-king-1.6536799
* Greg is a bottom
== Quotes ==
* "In a room full of 10s, all I saw was Linda." (Berg's reply: "So in a room full of 10s, all you saw was an L?")
* "L-E-T-O-U-R-E... wait, sorry, I got myself confused here, L-E-T-O-U-R-N-E-A-U. It's-it's French, listen, I'm cursin' my ancestors every time I fill out a government form."
* (Talking to Tom Tater) "The kidnapping was like the last few strokes getting the nail in to the wood, you know?"
* "Listen, this Berg kid, he keeps trying to tell me about this speedrunning stuff, and I tell him what a fucking loser activity that is. I mean seriously, you're going to sit there and play the same video game over and over and over again? What a fucking waste of time. Like, oh, and then you're gonna use glitches and claim you're not cheating? Yea, okay." [Note: Aspecticor is a speedrunner streamer]
* Berg: "What are the 3 Stooges names again?" Greg: "Fucking Bumpy, Swirly and Curly or some shit. Or Lenny or something?" Berg: "I don't think Bumpy is one of the 3 Stooges."
* Greg: "I haven't seen a bush like that since July of '08." Berg: "Was it because Linda didn't shave because you didn't have sex with her at all because all you did was work?" Greg: (heavy sigh) "Yes, Berg."
* "It's a go for Greg"