Accused

Accused is the first episode of SBFW Campsite, and the first in season 1. 
== Plot ==
CrazySponge gets accused of being a Hoopla fetishist by SeemsGood.
== Transcript ==
(The episode begins with a outside shot of the campsite. Cut to SeemsGood in his cabin, watching the Problem Child 2 barf scene on his computer but we only hear the sounds.)
SeemsGood: This scene is much better than The Sandlot one! No phony barfing here.
(Someone knocks on the door)
SeemsGood: Who the hell could that be?!
???: Hoopla!
SeemsGood: Aw shit! It’s CrazySponge! Uh… don’t come in!
CrazySponge: How come?
SeemsGood: I’m using the toilet!
CrazySponge: No you aren’t, I can hear the TV!
SeemsGood: It’s the computer, you dumbass!
CrazySponge: Same sort of thing though, with On Demand and all that!
SeemsGood: Fair enough. (pause) What do you want, anyway?
CrazySponge: Could I borrow some sugar?
SeemsGood: A ‘please’ would be nice!
CrazySponge: No.
SeemsGood: I’m not giving you sugar anyway, because, uh… I don’t want you to be high like I was in Demotion For Duty!
CrazySponge: (confused) Demotion For What?
SeemsGood: Demotion For Du- (sighs) Nevermind. (kicks the wall)
CrazySponge: I guess I’ll be on my way then. (walks away)
SeemsGood: (sighs with relief) Dang fool.
(Pluto pops up)
Pluto: (in a dorky voice) dId YoU jUsT sAiD dAnG? tHaT wOrD iS hOrRiBlE!
SeemsGood: Well, you said it yourself.
Pluto: (gasps and covers his mouth) HoW dARe YoU aCcUsE mE oF sUcH bAd LaNgUaGe!
(Polar from SBFW Go! pops up)
Polar: (addressing the viewer) If you’ve just tuned in, you’re not watching SBFW Go!, (Jake from SBFW Go! pushes him off of the screen) catch it first on Pol- (in pain) OWWW!
SeemsGood: (to Jake) Wait, am I you?
Jake: Woah!
(Jasbre pops up)'''
Jasbre: Jake! I found ya!
Jake: (facepalms)
Jasbre: God damn you, Jake, you ruined that too! First Matchy and now you!
Polar: (off-screen, from his voice you tell that he is some distance away) SBFW Go! would never do a joke like this!
SeemsGood: Can you guys go? I don’t want this to be a crossover.'''
SBFW Go! Polar, SBFW Go! Jasbre and SBFW Go! Jake: (reluctant) Fine. (they walk away)
(Cut to SeemsGood walking down the camp and then he starts hearing moans from Crazy’s cabinet. SeemsGood then runs to the front of his cabin and starts watching through the window, and then he sees Crazy dancing with a photo of Hoopla and kissing it.)
CrazySponge: (badly singing) WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE, LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE-
SeemsGood: What the- (vomits off-screen)
(Cut to Crazy walking out of his cabin and sees SeemsGood’s vomit on the ground)
CrazySponge: Oh, ick, you won’t get me today! (runs back in)
SeemsGood: Haha… gotcha…. (vomits off-screen again)
(Cut to SeemsGood dropping a note in front of his door and knocking on it. Then he runs away to his cabin. Crazy opens the door and sees the note.)
CrazySponge: ‘’Come to my cabin, we gotta talk. SeemsGood’’. Okay, I guess! (goes to SeemsGood’s cabin and knocks on SeemsGood’s door. SeemsGood opens the door.)
SeemsGood: Hiya, boyal! Come on in! (Crazy enters his cabin as he closes the door)
CrazySponge: So, Seemy, what do you wa-
SeemsGood: Listen, I think you-
CrazySponge: (interrupting) I am not gay!
SeemsGood: (pause) I wasn’t gonna say that you were gay!
CrazySponge: You weren’t? ‘Cos, um… I’m not.
SeemsGood: (pause) OK… Anyways, I really think you have a Hoopla fetish.
CrazySponge: No, I don’t! I just like it!
SeemsGood: I think you do, I saw you doing weird stuff with a photo of your ‘’dream character’’.
CrazySponge: Proof?
SeemsGood: (holds up a picture of CrazySponge kissing a portrait of Hoopla)
CrazySponge: Where did you get that from?
SeemsGood: Doesn’t matter…
CrazySponge: That wasn’t me, anyway… that was my doppelganger...'''
SeemsGood: Sure…
CrazySponge: Seriously, man! That was my doppelganger! I definitely don’t have a Hoopla fetish!
SeemsGood: Yeah, yeah, yeah… Of f***ing course!
CrazySponge: I swear to the Hoopla gods that I don’t have a-
SeemsGood: You know what? Prove to me that you have a doppelganger! I doubt you’ll be able to.
CrazySponge: Okay, I will! Ummm, he was wearing a ‘’Hoopla’’ shirt in RED COLOR! I WEAR BLUE!
SeemsGood: Stop talking about yourself. I think you had a red Hoopla shirt because RED IS THE COLOR OF A HEART! And a heart means the symbol of love.
CrazySponge: You got me there.. BUT I STILL DENY THE FACT! (storms off in anger)
SeemsGood: Dang fool.
(Pluto pops up again)
Pluto: RAAAHHHHHHHHHH- (gets shot by SeemsGood)
SeemsGood: Shut up.
Pluto: No u.
SeemsGood: Ew, dead meme. (shoots Pluto again, making him lie on the ground this time)
Pluto: (barely able to speak) Talk about filler, Se- (passes out)
SeemsGood: Huh, sounds like something Polar would say. (he opens the door and looks out of it suspiciously and then closes it again)
SpongeBot: (outside the cabin, talking to Jasbre) We gotta get Polar out of there!
SeemsGood: Someone’s gotta talk some sense into that Hoopla fetishist. 
(Cuts to Crazy knocking on FDBackup’s cabin door and FD opens the door.)
FDBackup: What the f**k do you want? I’m getting banned tomorrow!
CrazySponge: SeemsGood is ridiculous! He thinks I have a Hoopla fetish!
FDBackup: What’s a fetish?
CrazySponge: (facepalms)
One long explanation later…
FDBackup: Oh. Eww.
CrazySponge: I know right? I don’t even have a Hoopla fetish!
FDBackup: Well, you do seem to say Hoopla a lot.
CrazySponge: Hoopl- I do?
FDBackup: I also saw you kissing a photo of Hoopla and then doing boogie-boogie with it under your… boogie.
CrazySponge: I swear it wasn’t me, it was my doppelganger!
FDBackup: Doppelganger, huh? Nice try.
CrazySponge: I stole his ID.
FDBackup: Wait what?
CrazySponge: (holds up ID) See?
FDBackup: I guess you do have one then. I’ll be danged.
CrazySponge: Danged?
(Pluto pops up again)
Pluto: FoR tHe LaSt HeCkInG tImE, dO nOt SaY tHaT! (gets slapped by FD)
FDBackup: (watching Pluto’s wounds) Damn, where did you get that!
Pluto: wElL, sEeMsPoOp ShOt mE!
FDBackup: That’s what you get.
Pluto: wHaTeVeR. I’lL jUsT lEaVe NoW.
FDBackup: Good riddance. (Pluto leaves) Wait, why did you just tell me all about this fetish of yours, again?
CrazySponge: It’s not a fetish, and I want you to help me to prove that to SeemsGood!
FDBackup: Cray, Cra- (pause) Can I call you Cray? (CrazySponge nods) If it wasn’t you, but rather your doppelganger and you stole his ID, then why can’t you just show that to SeemsGood?
CrazySponge: Wow, didn’t think of that before!
FDBackup: Then there ya go. Just do that and you’re good.
CrazySponge: Got it. See ya.
FDBackup: But I’ll be banned tomorrow! (CrazySponge leaves) Aw, heck.
(CrazySponge knocks on SeemsGood’s door)
SeemsGood: Who is it now?
CrazySponge: Special delivery!
SeemsGood: Is it my Betamax tapes? Come in! (CrazySponge enters his room) What are you doing here?
CrazySponge: You want proof, you got it. (Shows him his doppelganger’s ID)
SeemsGood: (scoffs) Clearly fake. You seriously need to give MS Paint a break
CrazySponge: SeemsGood, I don’t know what you’re playing at. I’ll even call him on Skype if you really want me to! (he pulls out his phone and calls his doppelganger on Skype)
CrazySponge’s Doppleganger?: Hello, darling! Everything going OK?
CrazySponge: See? See?
SeemsGood: Um… that’s your mom.
CrazySponge: SHIT! Sorry, Mom! Er, gotta go!
CrazySponge’s Mom: YOU WATCH YOUR F***ING LANGUAGE WHEN YOU- (CrazySponge hangs up)
SeemsGood: Deal with it. You have a Hoopla fetish. It’s okay, everyone has a fetish! You need to accept different people. So, I’m okay with that!
CrazySponge: WHAT? That wasn’t me, I swear, that was my doppleganger you saw!
SeemsGood: F**K YOU! YOU RUINED THE MESSAGE! (punches Crazy in the face, sighs and then enters his lounge to find a cardboard cut-out of John McClane) Now, where were we?
(credits play with an instrumental version of ‘’We are all just assholes talking to a camera’’. The End.)
Category:SeemsGood
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:2018
Category:2018 Episodes
Category:Episodes written by SeemsGood
Category:Episodes written by FireMatch
Category:SBFW Campsite
Category:2010s