Treehouse of Horror XXII/Quotes

== Intro ==
:Marge: (to Bart, Lisa and Maggie) Fee-fi-fo-fum, give me all your candy and gum!
:Bart: Who are you and why do you want our candy?
:Homer: Your mother is the switch witch! A sort of tooth fairy dealie.
:Marge: I take your sugary sweets and I give you healthy items! Plain brown toothbrushes, (puts a toothbrush in Lisa's bag) unflavored dental floss, (puts a box of dental floss in Maggie's bag) and fun-sized mouthwashes! (puts a mouthwasher bottle in Bart's bag) TSA approved!
:Bart: This is exactly why kids need a union.
== The Diving Bell and the Butterball ==
:Homer: Ok. I'm the floor. I can't move. So far, a normal Sunday morning...
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:Homer: Halloween: the one time of the year where the squalor of our home works to our advantage.
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:Homer: For further communication, I will require more beans.
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:Chief Wiggum: They say no two ass webs are the same.
== Dial D for Diddily ==
:Ned Flanders: Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees.
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:Ned: (narrating, watching Mr. Burns dump nuclear waste at a lake) All these years, I thought murder was a sin. Then, I got new instructions from the good Lord himself in his favorite language: English.
:God: Slay Montgomery Burns and pee in his ashes!
:Ned: Are you sure, Lord?
:God: If you're having trouble with the second part, drink a lot of water. Now I've got to go! A hip-hop star is thanking me at the VMAs.
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:Homer: (on a microphone, pretending to be God) Okay, stupid Flanders. First, I want you to kill that guy at the ice cream parlor who gave Homer Simpson a cone that had a little air in it.
:Ned: (on the radio, sighs) Really?
:Homer: Come on! God does crazy things! Check your Old Testament! (Bart enters the room)
:Bart: Hey, dad.
:Homer: Hey, Bart! Uh, I mean, Jesus. (covers up the microphone) Hey, son. You want Flanders to kill anybody? He's totally in my power!
:Bart: Well, there's a tall boy in front of me in class so I can't see the board.
:Homer: (on the microphone) And I sayeth unto you, slay every tall boy in town! (Homer and Bart hi-five each other)
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:Ned: (enters the room) Homer Simpson!
:Homer: Aah!
:Ned: You made a killer out of me! (shows him a bible with a speaker on the cover)
:Homer: Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?
:Ned: I'm going to kill you!
:Homer: Aah!!
:Ned: Because of you, I'm going to Hell!
:Homer: Language.
:Ned: Hell! Damn! Backside! Nothing matters anymore! I'm goin' down and my hand-basket seats two!
:Homer: Wake up, Flanders: there is no Hell. And there is no God! If there were, would he let me do this? (takes out a lighter and burns Ned's Holy Bible)
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:Real God: (strangles Homer) WHY YOU LITTLE!
== In the Na'vi ==
:Chalmers: (to the troops) People, you are on the most inhospitable planet in the galaxy! Extreme temperatures, vicious indigenous life forms! Are there any questions? (Cletus raises his hand) Yes?
:Cletus: Are we in Kansas anymore?
:Chalmers: No!
:Brandine: Well, are we in Nebraska?
:Chalmers: No! We are not in any state!
:Cletus: Oh... oh... is it Michigan?
:Chalmers: Nobody talk anymore!
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:Lisa: Now prepare to take an incredible journey across the room.
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:Bart: Traitor! How dare you betray me on me on the planet that got me laid?
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:Bart: Thanks, dude!
:Kamala: I am a female!
:Bart: You don't have to yell!
:Kamala: I am not yelling! This is my seductive voice! I am called Kamala!
:(cuts to Milhouse)
:Milhouse: Oh, even when we're monsters, he gets the girl. (kicks a rock)
:Kamala: Fool! Every part of this world is alive! Apologize to sister rock!
:Milhouse: (picks up flowers) Sorry, sister rock.
:Kamala: Now you've murdered our brothers, the flowers!
:Milhouse: (bangs his head against a tree) Stupid, stupid!
:Kamala: Now you're having sex with uncle tree!
es:Treehouse of Horror XXII/Frases
Category:Treehouse of Horror quotes
Category:Treehouse of Horror