A Bubble Bass Video/transcript

Next Episode: Patrick and Leni's Prison Pals
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: October 14, 2023
Episode Copyrighted: 2023
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins with Patrick popping up from below the camera to begin his show.
Patrick Star: Hello everyone, and welcome to my show! Today's episode is...
The camera moves to the right to show a collection of hazardous items.
Patrick Star: ..."Try This at Home!" So kids, get ready-
A big red logo with the word "Wrong" is stamped on screen.
Bubble Bass: Wrong!
A zoom out shows Bubble Bass in a Nostalgia Critic-styled outfit.
Bubble Bass: More like "Don't try this anywhere." I mean, how's that dynamite even staying in the toaster? Is it anti-gravity dynamite or-
Mama Bass: *opens the door* Bubble Bass! I'm doing a load, so send up your dirties!
Bubble Bass: *deflates in embarrassment and walks to the stairs* Mother, I am busy making art!
Mama Bass: Well, I'm busy doing laundry, so put your stinky little costume in the basket!
Bubble Bass: It is a uniform, and you know it!
Bubble Bass is hit by the laundry basket and falls to the ground. The scene glitches to his show's intro, consisting of sliding videos of himself and the logo.
Bubble Bass: I hate it! It's trash. Ugh! "A Bubble Bass Video."
The scene cuts to Bubble Bass' computer, showing a drawing of him with the text "A Bubble Bass Video!" and "Episode #674" on the slide.
Bubble Bass: Welcome to "A Bubble Bass Video," episode 674. *scrolls to the next slide showing an edited version of the Patrick Star & Leni Loud Show logo* Today's review, The Patrick and Leni Show...
The scene glitches to Bubble Bass getting into his seat with the laundry basket still stuck in his head.
Bubble Bass: ...with me, your host. *pulls the basket off* Bubble Bass. *shakes off the imprints left by the basket* Now, let us begin as we always do with our first segment...
The scene cuts back to the slides with Bubble Bass sighing and the text "YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN REAL LIFE" in it.
Bubble Bass: ...You Can't Do That in Real Life. Oh, uh, let me move my mouse out of the way and- *tries to move my cursor off-screen*
He ends up moving the slide and revealing his Kitten Princess background.
Bubble Bass: Huh?! Wait, uh, you're not supposed to see this! *covers the camera*
The scene glitches to footage of Patrick, Squidina and Leni at a campfire in the woods.
Bubble Bass: The right clip, this time. Just watch. *clicks the video to make it play*
Patrick Star: Today's been really nice.
Squidina Star: Yeah.
Leni Loud: Totes.
Bubble Bass: *circles my cursor around the campfire* Look at this! Fire? Underwater? [brings back his slide and enlarges it* You can't do that in real life!
The camera moves from showing the computer to showing Bubble Bass' face up close.
Bubble Bass: *cackles* I hope someone gets fired for this! *cackles*
The scene cuts away from Bubble Bass's face. His glasses are all fogged up.
Mama Bass: Bubble Bass! Pizza bagels are ready!
Bubble Bass: *rubs my glasses clean* Pizza bagels! Oh boy!
The scene cuts to Bubble Bass, his head being off-camera, with a plate of pizza bagels next to him.
Mama Bass: A special treat for a special boy.
Bubble Bass: Thank you, mother. Oh joy, I…Is that on? *covers the camera and the scene glitches to Bubble Bass outside in a robe with a sword* Excelsior!
The scene glitches back to Bubble Bass with a photo showing two Patricks with different front teeth.
Bubble Bass: Patrick's tooth shaped mystery shall never be solved! Which brings us to our next segment.
The picture on-screen changes to one of Patrick in a clown costume with the words "You Goof'd" next to him.
Bubble Bass: "You Goof'd!"
The scene transitions to Bubble Bass' TV. He walks up to it with a VHS labeled "Pat 054."
Bubble Bass: Today's goof is from episode 054.
The TV turns on and footage of Rachel playing baseball plays.
Rachel Foxy: Well, here goes nothing! *throws the baseball to the right*
Angus Shackleton: Nice swing, little girl.
It ends up in GrandPat's mouth coming in from the left.
Bubble Bass: *pauses the clip and points* There! The baseball clearly enters frame right to left...
The slide transition cuts to Bubble Bass still pointing at the TV while randomly in a Christmas-themed room with a Christmas hat.
Bubble Bass: ...whereas, previously, it was traveling left to right. The shots don't hook up! Rachel! My immersion is ruined. You had one job, and you goof'd!
Artwork of Bubble Bass flailing his arms with several icons and the text "You Goofed" in Cooper Black jumps onto the screen. The scene glitches out to Bubble Bass with a wig and cat paws dancing to K-Pop.
Bubble Bass: Nya, nya, kitten princess!
The text "Kitten Princess" in Comic Sans MS jumps onto the screen. The scene glitches out to Bubble Bass holding a seahorse figurine.
Bubble Bass: Limited edition "My Tiny Seahorse."
The scene glitches back to Bubble Bass in his chair.
Bubble Bass: And now... *pulls out a can of cheese, gulps it down and burps hard* ...Bubble Bass Reviews is brought to you by canned nacho cheese.
Bubble Bass' mother comes downstairs and moves the camera towards her.
Mama Bass: No, no, no, no, no. It's time for a word from your mama!
Bubble Bass: *shocked* Mother!?
Mama Bass: Nuh-uh. I pay the bill for the worldwide internets, and I can interrupt your sad little show anytime I want.
Bubble Bass: But, Ma!
Mama Bass: Shush you. Listen up, home viewers. My son needs help. He's pathetic. He needs a job. Maybe one of youse knows someone who's hiring. Full disclosure, he is not good at anything. Maybe he can work in animation.
Bubble Bass: Ma! *slams my fist on the desk* Only losers work in animation!
Mama Bass: Ugh, look at this. *pulls out Bubble Bass' underwear* There's skid marks on all his underwear. *pulls up Bubble Bass' action figures* Oh, and he buys multiples of the same superhero dolls. *drops the figures*
Bubble Bass: *grabs them from the floor* Hey, those are mint on card!
Mama Bass: Home viewers, hear a mother's plea! Please, somebody, pretend to be her friend Rachel. Take her outdoors! *pushes the camera towards the window* She hasn't been exposed to natural light in 12 weeks!
Mama Bass: *pulls away the curtains, letting the light come out*
Bubble Bass: *hisses and jumps from his seat in response*
Mama Bass: *runs back upstairs* It is a gosh darn tragedy, I am telling you!
Bubble Bass: Uh, anyway, moving right along. *presses a button on his mouse to make another clip pop up* Let us take a look at another clip from episode 227F of The Patrick Show.
In the clip, Patrick stands perfectly still, until his pants fall from his waist.
Patrick Star: Oh no! My pants fell down! *wobbles around* Whoa! Whoa! Oh, somebody help me! *falls to the ground*
Bubble Bass: Every episode of this show should be tossed in a dumpster and set on fire! The Patrick and Leni Show is a crime against humanity, and- and- and everyone involved with it should be thrown in jail! Patrick for starring in it, Squidina for producing it, and the lawnies for watching it!
Patrick Star: *farts*
Bubble Bass: I'm just glad my audience isn't that pathetic. *faces my "audience" of action figures* Right, fellas? *picks up one of them and pretends it is speaking* A Bubble Bass Video is the greatest show ever! *cackles* I couldn't agree more.
Mama Bass: *enters the room* Bubble Bass?
Bubble Bass: *winces*
Mama Bass: You had better not be talking to your dolls again! *exits the room and slams the door*
Bubble Bass: *laughs nervously* Anywho, let's get back to business. *clears my throat* The Patrick Show is the worst show on television!
The scene zooms out to show Squidina's laptop. Patrick, Squidina, Leni and Rachel are watching Bubble Bass' rant.
Bubble Bass: Patrick Star and Squidina are the enemies of the state. Oh, they make me so angry! *babbles* Rachel must pay!
Leni Loud: *closes the laptop*
Rachel Foxy: Huh, I guess Bubble Bass isn't exactly a fan of the show.
Patrick Star: Well, maybe we ought to go have a little talk with him.
The room turns dark. Thunder is heard as a thunderstorm starts.
Leni Loud: Oh, and we better bring an umbrella since it just started raining.
Patrick Star: Can do, Leni.
Leni Loud: *pulls out an umbrella*
She, Rachel, Patrick and Squidina leave the house.
Squidina Star: Good call.
Patrick Star: Call who?
The scene glitches to Bubble Bass throwing a basketball. It fails to go into the hoop.
Bubble Bass: *exhausted* Touchdown. *pants*
The scene glitches to Bubble Bass sitting next to his TV with a remote.
Bubble Bass: Need another reason not to watch The Patrick and Leni Show?
The scene glitches closer to the TV. Patrick is raising his hand in the footage.
Bubble Bass: Look at this! Patrick's got a regular sea star hand!
Screen cuts to Parker.
Parker the Raincloud: You got it!
The TV transitions to Patrick giving a thumbs-up to Cecil and Parker.
Bubble Bass: Three scenes later, he's got thumbs!
The scene glitches to Bubble holding his camera still.
Bubble Bass: Ugh, it's so enraging! *picks up a box of donuts* It makes me want to hate-eat an entire box of powdered donuts! *scarfs down the donuts*
Outside the house, a thunder strike occurs as Patrick, Squidina and Leni walk to the door.
Bubble Bass: *finishes the box and throws it out* One box wasn't enough! I'm still angry! *picks up two more boxes of donuts* I need more hate donuts!
Mama Bass: *enters the room* Bubble Bass! Your friends are here to see you.
Bubble Bass: *confused* Friends? But I don't have any.
Mama Bass: Said their names are Patrick and Squidina. And all their friends.
Bubble Bass: *shocked* Hm? Patrick and Squidina? Okay, show's over! *shocked* Huh?
Screen cuts to Rachel, then it cuts back.
Bubble Bass: *angrily* It's all because of Rachel! I'm gonna sue her!
Leni Loud: Rachel?!
Bubble Bass: Yes, I will! *turns off my camera and runs up the stairs* Tell them I'm not home! *shuts the door and boards it up*
He turns off the lights and walks back to his couch exhausted. A thunder strike occurs
Bubble Bass: *jumps*
When he sees Patrick, Squidina, Leni and Rachel banging his windows.
Patrick Star: Bubble Bass...
Squidina: Bubble Bass...
Leni Loud: Bubble Bass...
Rachel Foxy: Bubble Bass?
Bubble Bass: Out of my way. *pushes Rachel*
Rachel Foxy: Ow!
Leni Loud: Come on, Rachel, you can do it.
Rachel Foxy: *touches the window*
Bubble Bass: Hey! Don't touch–
Rachel Foxy: *opens the window, letting the water in, which soaks Bubble Bass' action figures.*
Bubble Bass: *screams* My mint condition action figures!
Rachel Foxy: *opens the other window, causing the water to enter there too and soak the box of comics*
Bubble Bass: *screams* My comic books! 
The water from outside reaches Bubble Bass' video game console.
Bubble Bass: Ooh, my retro gaming console!
Rachel Foxy: *jumps inside*
Bubble Bass: *screams*
As they get closer to his couch.
Patrick Star: We've been watching your show, Bubble Bass.
Squidina Star: Yeah. We heard everything you said about us.
Bubble Bass: *screams and runs up to the door* Mother! *bangs on the doors to no avail* Mother! *looks out the window to see Mama Bass is busy cutting carrots*
Leni Loud: *puts on the soap bar on the floor*
Bubble Bass: *walks on the soap bar without looking, then slips to a complete mess and screams*
Leni Loud: It worked!
Patrick Star: Alright!
Squidina Star: That should do the trick!
Bubble Bass: *keeps screaming and slipping, making it a mess* AAAHHHHHHHHH!
Suddenly, they see a complete mess.
Rachel Foxy: Hooray!
Bubble Bass: *angrily, to Rachel* You!
Rachel Foxy: Bubble Bass, what's going on?
Bubble Bass: *becomes angry* I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON! LOOK AT THIS MESS! THEIR SHOW WENT CRAZY JUST LIKE YOU. NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF I WAS WATCHING MY VIDEO. YOU'RE BANNED FROM THIS SHOW!
Leni Loud: Bubble Bass! Stop! It's not her fault! It's mine! I ruined your immersion!
Bubble Bass: Leni?!
Leni Loud: All I did that, because you were watching your video. But I was wrong. I'm sorry, Bubble Bass.
Bubble Bass: Rachel, I'm sorry for yelling at you. *to Leni* Leni, apology accepted.
Patrick Star: Bubble Bass.
Bubble Bass: *turns around and sees Patrick, Squidina, Leni and Rachel walking up the stairs*
As another thunder strike is heard.
Patrick Star: We watched every episode.
Bubble Bass: *screams again and tries to pull out the wood blocking the door*
He turns around as he sees that Patrick, Squidina, Leni and Rachel have him cornered.
Bubble Bass: *cries* I'm sorry!
The thunder outside reveals Patrick, Squidina and Leni's disgruntled faces.
Bubble Bass: I'm sorry, I'm so, so, so, so sorry! I'm sorry for everything!
Leni Loud: *gets really close to Bubble Bass' face* Thank you.
Squidina Star: Your hours of constructive criticism of The Patrick and Leni Show have been enlightening.
Bubble Bass: *bewildered* Huh?
Patrick Star: Your show changed our lives! It showed us all the things The Patrick and Leni Show was doing wrong so we can fix them!
Squidina Star: We were so inspired, we decided to return the favor!
Leni Loud: We made our own review show to review your review show!
Patrick, Squidina Star and Leni Loud: *pulls out a laptop with the review's logo, "Review Review," on it*
Bubble Bass: *chatters my teeth*
Patrick, Squidina Star and Leni Loud: It's time for...
The scene zooms in onto the laptop.
Patrick, Squidina Star and Leni Loud: "Review Review"!
Squidina Star: The cute little girl goes to Rachel.
Rachel Foxy: Yay! *goes on stage, then sits in a desk*
The scene cuts to Patrick, Squidina, Leni and Rachel in a desk.
Rachel Foxy: The show where we review Bubble Bass Reviews. Leni, take it away.
Leni Loud: Normally when you stain your clothes, you feel embarrassed, but that's what we love about Bubble Bass! No shame. Let's take a look some of Bubble Bass' most memorable stains! Patrick?!
A montage begins of Bubble Bass talking while various stains are on his body. The first one is of grape juice
Patrick Star: Episode 26, grape juice!
The second clip has Bubble Bass with an oatmeal stain.
Patrick Star: Episode 32, oatmeal!
The third clip has Bubble Bass with a ketchup stain.
Patrick Star: Episode 41, ketchup!
The last clip has Bubble Bass with a chocolate syrup stain.
Patrick Star: And episode 48, chocolate syrup. There are 527 more stain examples, but we just don't have the time! Squidina.
Squidina Star: Bubble Bass throws a lot of tantrums. So we made a supercut of the loudest ones!
Another montage of various clips of Bubble Bass screaming, one of which at his mother, plays.
Squidina Star: It's super entertaining. Leni.
Leni Loud: Bubble Bass works really hard. You can tell because of all that sweat that comes off him.
A clip of Bubble Bass whining while sweating heavily plays.
Patrick Star: It's like Niagara Falls, for crying out loud.
The scene cuts back to Patrick, Squidina, Leni and Rachel showing Bubble Bass the video.
Patrick Star: This episode has two billion views already!
Rachel Foxy: Pretty cool, huh, Bubs?
Bubble Bass: *breaks down the door and runs outside*
His mother walks out the door.
Patrick, Squidina Star, Leni Loud and Rachel Foxy: *follows suit*
Mama Bass: I can't believe it! My son is outdoors, participating in physical activity! And it's all thanks to his new friends!
Bubble Bass: *pants*
He is trying to get as far as he can. The clouds clear and the sun becomes visible in the sky.
Leni Loud: Hey! The sun's coming out!
Mama Bass: Bubble Bass, you get back here and put on some sunscreen. You're gonna get burned.
Bubble Bass: I'll be fine, mother!
The sun shines a beam at Bubble Bass, making him burst into flames, episode ends.
Category:Transcripts
Category:The Patrick Star & Leni Loud Show Episodes
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