Something or other of a fresh-kill pile...

One day there was an empty fresh-kill pile. All of the warriors were starving and had nothing to eat. The leader, Whitestar sent out 3 patrols. Unfortunately, it was Animal Jam and the cats had no gems because gems are choking hazards to cats. So they all started hopping on the ice. "It's a free-for-all!!", they screamed. They all fell in and Turtleclan lost 15 warriors. Whitestar was outraged. She sent her bravest warrior, Kielbasapelt, to ask jammers if they could eat them. Kielbasapelt asked seven jammers who all gave him a kick in the shin. Kielbasapelt limped back to the camp with a dislocated hip, a broken shin, and a twisted ankle. A kindly old rabbit walked in front of him. "Could you direct me to the Pillow Room," she asked. Kielbasapelt instantly hatched a plan. He would lead the rabbit to the pillow room, and then bring her back for food. He told her he knew the way, and led her there. She gave him a Rare Ladybug hat in thanks. Kielbasapelt didn't use her as prey, but instead used the hat as prey. He walked back to the camp and dropped it on the Fresh-Kill pile. Milliseconds later, he was instantly pelted it toothpicks and rubber finger monsters from the 1980s. So now the fresh-kill pile was rubber finger monsters and a yellow hat. Ten warriors ran away from the clan in hopes to find food and got sprayed by a skunk. They went to a free-form tomato juice pool and washed off. Justin Bieber also made a very special live apperance that day and was pushed into the pool. Days later, the entire clan was doing amazing other than some minor indigestion caused by the finger monsters. The medicine cat, Nachoheart treated most of them easily. Until one day, the terrible color virus hit AJ. Everyone turned a weird color. Whitestar was renamed 'Hotpinkwithatintofreddishorangestar'. Nobody knew what was going on! Kielbasapelt was green! Nachoheart way blue! And Hotpinkwithatintofreddishorangestar was hot pink with a tint of reddish orange! One day, the moderators fixed the glitch! And everyone was happy again! (exept for the rabbit, who ate Kielbasapelt's rubber finger monsters and she was on a strict diet of guacamole and fish sticks)
P.S No actual animals were harmed in the making of this book, although several ingested rubber finger monsters
Category:Short stories
Category:Comedy