Hotel Hoopla

Hotel Hoopla is the fifth episode of SpongeThorne.
== Transcript ==
(The episode begins with a shot of the exterior of the Hoopla house. The camera pans down under the earth into the same place reminiscent of Hell seen in earlier episodes. A worried spirit knocks on the door of what is presumably an office.)
???: (off-screen) Come in.
(The person enters the room and is greeted by an important-looking person.)
???: Yes?
????: Boss, that, uh, those ghost hunters visited the forest yesterday.
???: What forest?
????: The one some of your subjects have taken refuge in. The normalians call it the "Phineas Forest".
???: What's your point?
????: They've, uh, I'm not sure how to put this but uh… they've decided to open the gat-
???: THEY DID WHAT?!
????: I'm sorry boss, it's not my- 
???: What are these "ghost hunters" you speak of called?
????: They work under the small organisation known as PISS, boss.
???: I see. They must be stopped at all costs. What have the normalians decided to do with the old Stoker Studios lot, hm?
????: The what?
???: (sighs) The TV studio in the second episode, hun. Haven't you been keeping up with the lore?
????: Sorry. I believe they're building a parking lot, boss.
???: (evil laugh) Not anymore, young padawan. Not anymore…
(Theme song. Cut to Hoopla, Dave, Temmie and Mr. Sprinkles on the bus.)
Dave: Ugh, I hate public transport.
Hoopla: You'll get used to it.
Bus Driver: Next stop is Hunchback Hotel.
Mr. Sprinkles: woo-
Temmie: (whispering) mista spwinkles, keep it down! ur not suppo 2 b on da bus!
(Mr. Sprinkles whimpers. The bus stops and the four get off. Several familiar people get on.)
Bus Driver: Next stop… uh… The World of SBFW?
Dave: Free advertising, huh?
(The bus drives off.)
Dave: Well, we're here.
Hoopla: Nice of the manager to invite us to the new hotel, gay Temmie?
Temmie: tem hop they made lots of tem flakes!
(A letter falls down to the ground, and Hoopla picks it up)
Hoopla: Look, Temmie! It’s from… I have no idea what this name is. "Dear pesky plumbers, the koopalings and I have taken over the-" (he screws it up into a ball and throws it away) Anyway, I wanna show you this awesome new invention.
Dave: Couldn't you have done this on the bus?
Hoopla: You know everyone thinks we're weirdos.
(He takes out a hockey puck-looking mechanism)
Dave: You… invented a hockey puck?
Hoopla: What? No. This is a Spirit Box. It lets us talk to spirits.
(He turns it on. Oscillating static is heard)
Dave: Uh… hello?
(Dave's voice is heard through the Spirit Box, although somewhat cloudy)
Hoopla: Not like you, Dave. Other spirits. Advanced spirits.
(He turns off the Spirit Box. The oscillating static stops)
Dave: Hey! Am I not advanced enough for you? Is that what you're saying? Because if you wanna go party with some other ghosts just say the word and I'll be-
Hoopla: That's not what I meant. Over our adventures I've begun valuing you as a friend, not an asset.
Dave: Oh. You were saying?
Hoopla: Whatever. Let's just go inside the hotel.
(They approach the grand-looking building and enter the tall doors into the spacious lobby.)
Dave: Woah. Now this is five stars!
Hoopla: Wow. I had no idea we were getting invited to such a prestigious-
???: Why hello there my little chiennes!
(The camera pans up to the hotel manager walking down the stairs wearing expensive clothing. They emit a weird aura.)
Manager: That's French for "ghost hunters".
Dave: Look, they even know French! This place is amazing!
Manager: (laughs) I like to think so. I can't believe I'm finally meeting you all in person! Please don't worry about the expenses of anything, we already have it all taken care of. You're our guests of honour, after all. Here at the Hunchback Hotel we hope you all relax and have a vacation to die for.
Hoopla: Wow, thanks. And your name is?
Manager: Oh, just call me Amber.
Hoopla: I’m gonna call you Amber Alert.
Amber: Please don’t. (they whistle and several people in uniforms run towards them and take PISS' briefcases).
Hoopla: Oh, you don't have to-
Amber: Please, I insist.
Hoopla: Okay, but be careful. There might be road runners in there. And a person.
(Amber gives them a weird look.)
Amber: Well, alrighty then. You'll be staying in separate suites.
Temmie: sweet! hoopy never wets tem bounce on da bed!
Hoopla: Temmie! This place is 5 star! We can't just-
Amber: Oh, please. It's your vacation. If you wanna "bounce on the beds", that's up to you.
Hoopla: Huh. Well on second thought-
Amber: No time for thoughts, my employees will escort you to your rooms. Oh, and remember, just ask if you need anything. (they point to a plaque above reception) "We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request."
Dave: Feel like I've heard that before.
Amber: Found it in a dumpster in April of 2006. Cool, right?
Hoopla: Uh-
Amber: Now hurry along, or this episode will be about 30 pages long like last time.
(They follow the employees into the elevator. Temmie squeals.)
Temmie: tem want 2 push all da buttons!
Hoopla: Please don-
(Temmie runs her fingers down all the buttons. Hoopla facepalms.)
Temmie: wooks wike a xmas twee.
(Dave picks up Mr. Sprinkles.)
Dave: Agh, motherfuck! He's a heavy one, ain't he?
(The doors begin to close.)
Elevator voice: Doors closing. Going up.
(An elevator remix of "Loop de Loop" by Ween plays as they go up. Hoopla, Temmie and Dave awkwardly stand in the elevator for a few seconds.)
Temmie: dis is fum!
(Cut to them entering one of the suites.)
Employee: Well, here we are.
Hoopla: Wow! It looks great!
Dave: And is that a king-size bed?
Sexist Lady: That's sexist!
Employee: (grins) It sure is.
(The employees walk to the side of the room, where they turn a key to open a door to the suite next door.)
Hoopla: Wow! Interconnecting rooms?!
Dave: Hey guys, check this out.
(Dave hovers between the two suites as he talks.)
Dave: I'm in my room, I'm in your room. I'm in my room, I'm in your room. I'm in my-
Hoopla: Okay, we get the point. Are you sure you don't want us to pay anything? I mean, this is a luxury holi-
Employee: Please, just enjoy yourselves. Everything's on the house. Or the hotel I guess.
(The members of PISS are handed their separate digital keys.)
Employee: Here are your keys.
(Dave looks at his key in confusion.)
Dave: This is a key?
Employee: (smirks) We've gone digital now. It might look complicated but there are instructions on both sides.
Temmie: (sassy) yeah, get wit da program dav.
(The employees begin walking out.)
Employee: Okay, I guess that's everything. All the phone numbers and stuff should be written down somewhere. Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything.
Hoopla: Thank you, I mean really, thank you for everything.
Employee: No, thank you for doing good in this run-down town. People would kill for a stay here.
Hoopla: (nervously laughs) Heh, you know when you put it like that it sorta sounds like-
Employee: (abruptly) Well we'll see you around bye.
(They rush out, slamming the door shut.)
Mr. Sprinkles: woof
(The four stand there for a few seconds unsure of what to do.)
Hoopla: So… what do we do now?
(pause)
Dave: I guess… we can do whatever we want.
Hoopla: Oh, right.
(after a pause Hoopla, Dave and Temmie break out into spontaneous cheering)
Hoopla: WHOO! YEAH ALRIGHT! WE'RE ON VACATION!
Dave: THIS IS AMAZING!
Temmie: TEM WANT SAY SOMETING!
("Mr. Blue Sky" plays as we see a montage of the four doing things around the hotel. Hoopla, Dave and Mr. Sprinkles are sunbathing at the pool. We pan over to Temmie at the top of a high diving board looking scared. She turns around to climb back down, but a group of kids stand in her way. Temmie gulps and reluctantly jumps off, splashing the three at the side of the pool. We then see the four entering a fancy on-site restaurant, before being stopped at the door by an employee pointing to the "no dogs" sign. They return, this time with Mr. Sprinkles wearing a business suit. The employee looks at Mr. Sprinkles for a second before shrugging and allowing them in. We then see Hoopla going up the escalator. Pan down to Temmie struggling to go up the down escalator. Hoopla giggles. We then see Dave in the public male restroom spray painting "REDRUM" on one of the mirrors before running off in fits of giggles. Mare-io [from episode three, duh] exits one of the stalls and runs out screaming. The montage ends as we cut to Hoopla lying in bed reading "Fifty Shades of Very Very Dark Grey". He starts talking to himself.)
Hoopla: (yawn) I think today was a good day. Got to hang out with my three best friends and your hard work is finally paying off. I know I keep saying I really want the business to take off and expand into something big, but I mean if every day would be like this, that would be fine by me.
(He sets the book down and begins to go to sleep.)
Hoopla: Good night, book.
(Hoopla turns off the light and closes his eyes. After a few seconds, screaming is heard and he turns the light back on and jumps up.)
Hoopla: Wha- what's going on?
(The screaming is heard again.)
Hoopla: Oh no. Is that-
???: (off-screen) HOOPY!!!!!!! WELP!!!!!
Hoopla: Temmie!!
(Hoopla rushes out into the hallway but it is empty. He runs into Temmie's room through his and lifts up the sheets. No one is there.)
Hoopla: Temmie? Temmie?
(He turns around to find an empty dog bed.)
Hoopla: Oh no, not Mr. Sprinkles too!
(He runs into Dave's room through the interconnecting doors again and wakes him up.)
Hoopla: Dave! David! You've got to get up!
Dave: (yawns) They're serving all-you-can-eat already?
Hoopla: To be honest they probably are, but TEMMIE'S MISSING!
(Dave gets out of bed, worried.)
Dave: Temmie's missing? 
Hoopla: And Mr. Sprinkles?
Dave: Hey, you used his name.
Hoopla: This is an emergency, why wouldn't I?!
Dave: Okay, so are you absolutely sure they're missing?
Hoopla: Positive. (He starts worriedly pacing) I heard screaming and they weren't in there rooms so- oh, Dave! I just don't know what to do! I'm scared man!
Dave: Me too, I-
(Old Man Jenkins enters through the main door.)
Old Man Jenkins: What's all this ruckus about, sonnys?
Hoopla and Dave: Old Man Jenkins?
Dave: What are- what are you doing here?
Old Man Jenkins: Let's just say being a bingo regular at the retirement home pays off every once in a while. Literally. And you two?
Hoopla: We, uh… also… won bingo. Yeah.
Old Man Jenkins: By the way, you left the door unlocked.
Hoopla: We can see.
Dave: Fuck you, digital key!
Old Man Jenkins: So what's the screaming about?
Hoopla: Oh, it's horrible! Temmie and Mr. Sprinkles were taken!
Old Man Jenkins: Who?
Dave: Temmie and Mr. Sprinkles, our friends! You know, the cute little guy with the ears and the pitbull?
Hoopla: I thought he was a golden retriever.
Dave: Whatever. Look, can you help us? You're wise and know a lot of shit, right?
Old Man Jenkins: Hmm, well this is serious… okay, then! I suggest we start looking for clues.
(Cut to them walking out into the hallway.)
Old Man Jenkins: Alright gang, let's split up.
(pause)
Old Man Jenkins: Sorry, I… just always wanted to say that.
Hoopla: No, no, it's good. Dave and I can check their room, and you can have a look down the hallway. See, it won't look suspicious if anyone finds a senile old man wandering in the middle of the-
Old Man Jenkins: Alright, alright, I get the plan.
(Cut to Hoopla and Dave entering Temmie's room. Hoopla is wearing his ghost sucker. Dave begins flickering the light switch but nothing happens.)
Hoopla: What's wrong?
Dave: The power must be out.
Hoopla: Wonder what's causing that.
Dave: You know, are you absolutely sure they were definitely taken and they're not just playing hide and seek or something?
Hoopla: Positive. Poor Tem is scared of the dark.
(Hoopla takes out his torch and begins scanning the room.)
Dave: Hoopla, you do know that not everything is linked to the sup-
Hoopla: Hoopla! I knew it, something was here.
Dave: Apparently I'm wrong.
(Hoopla takes out the Spirit Box. Loud oscillating static is heard. Dave covers his ears.)
Dave: Could you keep that down? I thought we were trying not to wake anyone-
Hoopla: Are we in the presence of a spirit?
(pause)
Dave: What are you doing?
Hoopla: Talking to the spirit box, just shh. Are we in the presence of a spirit?
(pause)
Spirit Box: no u
Hoopla: Where are our friends?
(After a pause, Hoopla takes his torch back out and shines it towards the door, revealing a pinkish trail. The spirit becomes visible.)
Dave: They're getting away!
(Hoopla turns on the sucker and tries aiming at the ghost but they're too fast.)
Dave: Get 'em! Get 'em!
Hoopla: I'm trying! It's just hard to see with the power out!
(The ghost throws a vase at Dave, which goes right through him and smashes on the floor.)
Dave: Hey! Amber's gonna be pissed!
(The ghost picks up a painting which they use as a shield against Hoopla.)
Hoopla: Oh, come on!
(Dave goes over to the spirit and grabs the painting and they fight over it.)
Dave: Put… that… down!
(They continue tugging.)
Hoopla: That's it! You just need to-
(Dave manages to position the ghost within the trajectory of the sucker.)
Hoopla: Hoopla!
(Hoopla pulls the ghost in, but stops before they get completely sucked up.)
Hoopla: Okay, we want answers. Where's Temmie and Mr. Sprinkles?
Ghost: I- I don't know! I-
Hoopla: Of course you do! Speak up or we'll, uh… leak your nudes!
Ghost: You have my nudes?
(Hoopla and Dave give eachother an awkward look.)
Hoopla: Totally.
Ghost: (sighs) Fine. They've taken them, and they want to take you too! The boss ain't happy with you! They don't want everything we've built up to come crashing down!
Hoopla: Boss? What boss? Who's taken them? Taken them where?
Ghost: (gulp) I, uh… I've said too much!
Hoopla: No, wait-
(The ghost voluntarily goes inside the sucker.)
Dave: Motherfuck! They sucked themselves up harder than a boy going through puberty! Can't you blow them back out?
Hoopla: No, I haven't actually ran the right tests for that. I don't wanna accidentally release half our captees out. The consequences could be deadly.
Dave: Pfff… welp.
Hoopla: But y'know, what they said sounded kinda similar to what happened at Stoker Studios. Maybe these aren't isolated incidents?
Dave: Let's go find Old Man Jen.
(The two leave the room and begin walking down the hallway.)
Hoopla: Mr. Jenkins? Mr. Jenkins? You there?
Old Man Jenkins: (off-screen) Down here, peeps! You youngsters say that, right?
(The two find Old Man Jenkins mooching about in the hotel library.)
Dave: (sigh) What the hell are you doing in the hotel library? We're trying to find our friends… and then hopefully get back to sleep.
Old Man Jenkins: I know, I know. It seems as if the power has gone out. All the lights are off.
Hoopla: We noticed.
Dave: Back to my question: what are you doing here?
Old Man Jenkins: Oh, I heard a noise coming from in here. And I mean I hear noises all the time, but trust me this was different.
Hoopla: What did you find?
Old Man Jenkins: This.
(They stare ahead at a bookshelf for a few seconds.)
Dave: …a bookshelf?
Old Man Jenkins: Yep.
(Dave grabs Hoopla by the shoulder and begins walking off.)
Dave: Welp, come on Hoop let's-
Old Man Jenkins: (laughs) Don't you see? It's the oldest trick in the book! Or, uh, the bookshelf I guess.
(Old Man Jenkins moves one of the books on its side and the shelf opens up to reveal a secret downwards staircase.)
Old Man Jenkins: Fifty Shades of Very Very Dark Grey, good stuff.
Hoopla: Wow! I thought these were only in cartoons!
(Everyone briefly looks at the camera.)
Old Man Jenkins: Well, what are you scallywags waiting for?
(The three begin walking down the secret passageway.)
Dave: You know, it'd be funny if we stumbled across a cult down here or something, and like inducted as honorary members.
Old Man Jenkins: The things our youth come out with.
Dave: I've always wanted to be in a cult. You know, before I died that is.
(They reach the bottom and find another hallway.)
Dave: Really? More walking?!
Old Man Jenkins: I’ve done plenty of walking throughout my life. You get used to it.
Dave: Ugh, I'm hungry and tired.
Old Man Jenkins: Tired? Tired?! You youngsters don't know the meaning of the world "tired". During the Great Fox Kids War-
(Hoopla puts his hand over Old Man Jenkins' mouth, and they hide around the corner as two ghosts walk down the hallway.)
Ghost 1: Boss was right, they really aren't stupid.
Ghost 2: Come on, they've got to be running around here somewhere. They don't know this place like we do.
(The two ghosts walk past them. Hoopla lets out a sigh of relief. The camera pans out to reveal Dave is missing. Hoopla turns to Old Man Jenkins, who shrugs. Cut to Dave down the hallway operating a vending machine. He puts several coins in.)
Dave: (sighs) These things are so expensive.
Hoopla: (whispering) Dave! What the hell are you-
Ghost 2: (off-screen) Hey! Who said that?
(Hoopla drags Old Man Jenkins with him as he hides behind a plant as the ghosts re-enter the hallway.)
Ghost 1: Hey you! What are you doing down here?!
(Hoopla begins sweating as the ghosts approach Dave.)
Ghost 1: You're not supposed to be goofing off on your shift, mate.
Dave: Shift? What shift?
Ghost 2: This one.
Dave: I- uh… you two work here?
(The ghosts look at each other.)
Ghost 1: Are you taking the piss?
Dave: Uh… yes?
(The ghosts look at eachother again, before bursting out into laughter.)
Ghost 2: Oh, that's a good one!
Ghost 1: Yeah!
Ghost 2: C'mon, let's team up and search for those normalians.
(The ghosts lead them out of the hallway.)
Dave: Yeah, uh, I think I saw them like, not in that room.
Hoopla: Well, we've lost another.
Old Man Jenkins: Buys us some time though, right? 
(Cut to them entering a small room with a desk and some filing cabinets.)
Old Man Jenkins: Looks like some kind of office.
Hoopla: Luckily not one with Steve Carell.
(Hoopla starts looking through some paperwork.)
Old Man Jenkins: What is it?
Hoopla: Hard to tell with the power still out. Just looks like a list of some old bloke's medication.
Old Man Jenkins: I'm listening.
Hoopla: Don't be nosy.
???: (faintly) Help, somebody help me! I'm stuck between dimensions or something!
(Old Man Jenkins looks up at a painting of Prim.)
Old Man Jenkins: That's a handsome lad in that painting.
(Hoopla looks up.)
Hoopla: Isn't that the guy from the TV studio?
Old Man Jenkins: Sorry, I wasn't in that episode.
Prim: (faintly) Help!
(Hoopla turns on the ghost sucker and sucks Prim out of the painting.)
Prim: Oh, thank you! That was horrible! I just wanna get out of here!
Hoopla: Prim? What are you doing here?
Prim: Oh, Garviel wasn't making as much money as usual so I decided to make a new TV show called The World of SBFW. Apparently people like it and I made a few bucks so here I am.
Hoopla: Riiiight. There better not be other people stuck in paintings.
(Prim gives him a dead look.)
Hoopla: Heh-heh.
(We pan over to see Mare-io also in a painting)
Mare-io: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hoopla: If I had ears they'd be ringing right about now. (He sucks Mare-io out of the painting)
Mare-io: Thank-a-you-a-so-a-much-a.
Hoopla: Huh. You look familiar.
Old Man Jenkins: (gasp) I can't believe it! It be Crash Bandicoot!
Prim: Uh, that's obviously Sanick the Porcupine.
Hoopla: My bet was on Bubsy. 
Mare-io: It-a-doesn't-a-matter. Let's-a-just get to the bottom of this-a-mess.
Prim: Good idea.
Hoopla: Maybe we should start with getting the power back on.
(Cut to the group entering a kitchen full of toasters.)
Mare-io: Aha, here's the problem. Too many toasters. (Mare-io picks up a pack of Box Productions Sourpuss Bread and looks dead at the camera.) You know what they say, chilly today, hot tamale!
(pause)
Hoopla: Wrong line. (He hands him the script)
Mare-io: Oh. (He reads it) Okay. Ahem… all toasters toast-a-toast.
(He makes use of his backwards long jump and loads all the toasters in a jiffy. The others unplug them all, somehow causing them to go off. The lights suddenly come back on. Prim and Mare-io eat a piece of toast.)
Hoopla: Ayyy!
(Cut to the two ghosts and Dave walking around the hotel somewhere.)
Ghost 1: What the-
Ghost 2: Someone turned the power back on!
Ghost 1: Oh no.
Dave: Isn't that a good thing?
Ghost 2: No, not at all. The power's supposed to be off. 
Ghost 1: The ghost hunters must be on to us.
Dave: Or, uh, you know maybe someone's just slacking off?
(Amber approaches them.)
Ghosts 1&2: Ev'ning, Amber Alert.
Amber: (sighs) Buffoons. 
Dave: Evening Amber.
(Amber looks down at Dave in confusion.)
Amber: I don't remember the boss assigning you.
Dave: I'm, uh… from foreign exchange?
Amber: Really? What region?
Dave: Uhh… Upstate New York?
Amber: I see.
Dave: You're observant as always, Amber.
Amber: Yes, yes I am. And do you wanna know something else I observed?
Dave: What?
(Amber leans in on Dave.)
Amber: You don't work here, Dave.
Ghost 1: wait wut 
Amber: We'll make a lovely painting of you.
Dave: Make sure you get my good side.
Amber: Oh, we will.
Dave: Good. Do you want clothes or no clothes?
Amber: Doesn't matter.
(Cut back to Hoopla and the rest looking around the secret hallway.)
Prim: There have got to be clues here somewhere. (He takes out a magnifying glass) I'm looking for secrets. I'm like the game theorizer.
(Amber, the ghosts and Dave burst in.)
Amber: (gasp) You've escaped?!
Prim: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should-
Hoopla: Amber Alert?! You're the one behind all this?
Amber: Big twist, I know.
Hoopla: Dave?!
Dave: Sorry, Hoop, I got busted.
Hoopla: Where's Temmie? And Mr. Sprinkles?
Prim: And SpongeBob? And Garviel?
Mare-io: And-a-the princess?
Old Man Jenkins: And my dentures?
Amber: I think it's about time you all find out.
(dramatic pause)
Old Man Jenkins: Oh great, because I really miss my dentures. You have no idea how hard it is to-
(Cut to everyone being led down into the basement as if they were prisoners.)
Dave: Ugh, I still don't like all this walking.
Amber: And I don't care 
(The camera pans over to reveal Temmie, Mr. Sprinkles, SpongeBob, Garviel, Princess Pech, and Old Man Jenkins' dentures stuck inside paintings.)
Mr. Sprinkles: (faintly) woof
Temmie: (faintly) help! tem stuk between dimensons! 
Hoopla: Temmie! Mr. Sprinkles!
SpongeBob: (faintly) Wherever I am, I don't like it! I wanna go home!
Garviel: (faintly) I like this.
Prim: SpongeBob! Garviel!
Princess Pech: (faintly) Mare-io!
Mare-io: Princess!
Old Man Jenkins' Dentures: (faintly) click clack
Old Man Jenkins: Dentures!
Dave: I wanna say something too!
Hoopla: Wait, what's with all the empty paintings?
Prim: Who cares about those? We gotta save our friends!
Hoopla: Yeah, you're right. (He holds up the ghost sucker) Hold on, Temmie! I'm getting you ou- (Prim takes the ghost sucker)
Prim: Ahem… SpongeBob and Garviel are more important. (Mare-io takes the ghost sucker)
Mare-io: No! The princess is! (Old Man Jenkins takes the ghost sucker)
Old Man Jenkins: No! My dentures!
(They all fight over the ghost sucker and it breaks. Hoopla falls to the floor.)
Hoopla: My- my- my… my ghost sucker! But… how?
Prim: How are we supposed to free our friends without a ghost sucker?
Amber: Here's a suggestion, you don't!
(They push them towards the empty paintings.)
Dave: That's the shittiest suggestion I've ever heard.
Old Man Jenkins: Not as bad as when my ex told me she wanted a child. Virginity is cool, kids.
(Everyone gives him a weird look.)
Prim: How- how old are you again?
Old Man Jenkins: Doesn't matter.
Hoopla: We've really got ourselves in a situation here.
Mare-io: Mama mia.
Dave: Quick guys, think. We need to figure out a way to rescue our friends without a ghost sucker thingy. But how?
(Jeopardy music plays)
Hoopla: I don’t think we can legally play that here.
(Jeopardy music stops)
Hoopla: Phew.
Dave: Great, now I lost my train of thought.
Mare-io: Where's a-the enclosed instruction book when you a-need it?
(Prim takes out a straw)
Prim: Why don't we suck them out with a straw?
Hoopla: This isn’t Paper Mare-io, Prim.
Prim: oh (He takes out a glass of lemonade and sips it with the straw)
Mare-io: Ah, I’m-a-tired of-a-this conflict. I’m-a-going coo-coo crazy.
Amber: Aww, you guys are trying to think. Too bad you don’t have enough time on your hands. Into the paintings you go!
(Prim spits out his lemonade)
Amber: HEY! Get that atrocious liquid away from me!
Prim: You can’t knock it until you try it-
(Hoopla nudges Prim)
Prim: I mean… take this!
(Prim throws the entire glass of lemonade into Amber’s face. They begin to melt.)
Amber: I'M MELTING! MELTING! WHAT A WOOOORLD WHAT A WORLD…
Dave: Holy plot twist.
Hoopla: Their weakness… is lemoneyade?
Dave: The writers all did Hoopla's Fantastic Beach at some point, what did you expect?
(Suddenly, Hoopla [from HFB] comes in from another dimension)
Hoopla [2]: o
Old Man Jenkins: You know this joke won't age well in a few years, right?
Dave: Wait! I have an idea!
(Dave picks up one of the empty paintings and aims it towards Amber and the other ghosts.)
Dave: Let's see how you like it!
Amber: No!
(The now almost disformed Amber screams as they get sucked into the painting, along with the other ghosts and Hoopla [2].)
Hoopla [2]: HOOOOOOOOooooooo…
Dave: I think Picasso would approve.
Prim: I think he'd laugh.
Hoopla: Well good time was had by all, I’m pooped.
Prim: But our friends are still stuck in the paintings.
(Hoopla goes over to Temmie's paintings and pries it off the wall)
Prim: That might help.
Dave: Yeah but how do we get them OUT of the paintings?
(Mare-io approaches the paintings.)
Mare-io: I think I might-a-have an idea.
(Mare-io jumps into Temmie's painting Super Mario 64 style.)
Mare-io: Yahooooo!
Prim: He’ll be back, right?
(An hour passes)
Dave: Being in a basement for so long makes me lose my sanity. I’m not someone who writes online stories all day.
(Mare-io comes back with arrows and bullets all over his body with Temmie in his arms.)
Temmie: hoopy! dav!
Hoopla and Dave: Temmie!
(Hoopla and Dave run over to hug Temmie.)
Hoopla: Oh, I've missed you ol' buddy!
(Dave turns to the audience.)
Dave: They haven't.
Temmie: o it was howibble! it was wike tem was inbetween dimensions!
(Mare-io lets out a forced cough)
Old Man Jenkins: Oh, uh, you alright Pac-Man?
Mare-io: Mama mia.
Dave: He's walking, he's talking, he's fine.
Prim: What about the others?
Hoopla: You're gonna get them back too, right?
Mare-io: Do I have to?
(Everyone gives him a dead stare.)
Mare-io: (sighs) Fine. But it-a-might take a while.
Hoopla: Not if we do a time jump it won't 
Narrator: One week later…
Hoopla: AW COME ON!
Narrator: Don't blame me, I'm just the narrator.
Prim: Welp, everyone is back. 
Mr. Sprinkles: woof
Prim: Even Old Man Jenkins' dentures.
Old Man Jenkins: Oh, my dentures! (He kisses his dentures) How I missed you! (He puts them on)
(Mr. Sprinkles starts happily licking Temmie. Mare-io goes to bug Princess Peach, but she slaps him.)
Mare-io: I-a-preferred that Pauline tart anyway.
SpongeBob: Oh, what happened? One second I was eating all the hot dogs I could eat with my buddy Patrick-
Patrick: Hello!
SpongeBob: -and then all of a sudden I couldn't see anything.
Dave: You can read all about it in the official PISS biography.
Hoopla: Hey, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Speaking of PISS, have you made your mind up yet about joining?
Mr. Sprinkles: woof
SpongeBob: (thinking) Ummm… yes. Yes I have.
Dave: Well?
(Dramatic music starts as everyone starts sweating)
SpongeBob: You got yourselves a new member.
Everyone else: WOOOOOOO!
Hoopla: Oh, that's great! The company's really starting to take off. I remember when everyone thought we were crazy and a bunch of nobodies, but look at us now! We have the best fry cook in SpongeThorne in our crew!
Temmie: tem happy
SpongeBob: (blushes) Oh… I don't like to brag, but…
Prim: Well, what now?
Dave: Yeah, I guess the hotel's gonna go out of business.
Hoopla: Condemned.
Mare-io: Hmmm…. or maybe not.
(Cut to an exterior shot of the hotel a few days later. The sign now reads "Hotel Mare-io - Grand Re-opening". Mare-io and Old Man Jenkins greet everyone else at the door.)
Mare-io: Wahoo! Welcome to the grand re-opening of Hotel-a-Mare-io! We hope you have a SUPER stay!
(Old Man Jenkins cuts the ribbon and everyone cheers.)
SpongeBob: Wow! The place looks great.
Hoopla: Were you in on this, Jenkins?
Old Man Jenkins: Well, I still had some bingo winnings left over.
Dave: Well, what are we all waiting for?
(Cut to a montage of everyone doing things at the hotel. Temmie is on the diving board again, this time accompanied by SpongeBob. SpongeBob looks scared and wants to turn back, but Temmie pushes him in and they laugh. We then see SpongeBob and Patrick stuff their faces with hot dogs, the camera pans over to Old Man Jenkins teaching Mare-io to play chess, and then it pans over to Prim and Garviel eating some lasaga. Aidan can be seen in the background betting on a card game. Then we see Mare-io shutting doors while Bowser attempts to burn him. Princess Pech is sitting nearby on a deckchair eating popcorn.)
Mare-io: I don't-a-want the air conditioning to get out!
Bowser: Too bad, I'm evil and shit! Gra ha ha!
(We then see Hoopla helping SpongeBob to use a new and shinier ghost sucker.)
Hoopla: See, you're a natural!
SpongeBob: I am?
Hoopla: I call it the Ghost Sucker 2.0. I've, uh, never been good with names.
(We then see SpongeBob helping Temmie up the right escalator. Cut to Dave, Temmie, and SpongeBob rushing into an elevator with Old Man Jenkins, pressing all the buttons and running off.)
Old Man Jenkins: Darn ya stinkin' kids!
(We then cut to everyone in their hotel rooms getting ready for bed)
Old Man Jenkins: It sure is weird sleeping here. I haven’t slept in a hotel since the war of ‘09!
SpongeBob: (reading a story to Patrick) ...and then the brave cat poured lemonade on the evil ghost and they melted into liquid!
(The camera pans over to Patrick fast asleep snoring. SpongeBob pats his back and goes to bed.)
SpongeBob: (yawn) I do love a happy ending. I really do.
(SpongeBob closes his eyes and falls asleep. The camera pans out of the hotel. We see a shot of the exterior. We see the tail of a spirit looking towards the entrance before the episode cuts to black.)
== Secret Code ==
JG ZPV OFFE JOTUSVDUJPOT PO IPX UP HFU UISPVHI UIF IPUFMT, DIFDL PVU UIF FODMPTFE JOTUSVDUJPO CPPL.
== Trivia ==
*The episode heavily references the video games and with its plotlines.
*Dave and Hoopla's confusion over Mr. Sprinkles' breed is an in-joke about the series' group chat, with PrimitiveSponge129 suggesting he should be a golden retriever, and FireMatch suggesting he should be a pitbull (per PolarTem's remark that it could be funny if he looked intimidating) after production of the second episode wrapped up.
*Dave spray paints "redrum" on one the bathroom mirrors, referencing .
*Some of the characters thinking they're "trapped between dimensions" is a reference to .
Category:2020
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