Ideas From Across the Pond

*Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.
*Suck the eyes from attacking zombies using a Black and Decker “Dustbuster.” The zombies will then wander aimlessly and can be dispatched by the more usual methods at a more leisurely pace.
*Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin into a bowl of iron filings.
*X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You’ll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously “erased.”
*A hedgehog trained to scuttle up and down the table from guest to guest makes an unusual mobile cheese and pineapple cube nibble dispenser at cocktail parties.
*Domestos is an ideal substitute for Blue Curaco, and far less pricey. It gives any cocktail a bit of “oomph.”
*Whilst in bed protect yourself from vampires and werewolves by hiding under the covers.
Category:Travel Humor