Rayman Legends Adventures in Alice in Wonderland/Script

It was a sunny, summer day as butterflies flew happily through the meadow and a couple of swans were together in a lake. Lex was visiting out of town to her cousin Alice. The girls were lazing around as Alice's older sister, Lorina, was sitting and reading a history book, not noticing neither of the girls were paying attention to her.
"The rulers, and had recently been very accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of Mercia and Northumbria, have declared for him; and even Stigand-----" Lorina found herself pausing as her younger sister's foot came down from the tree branch it was over top of. "Alice," she continued to read.
Lex and Alice were making daisy flower necklaces in the tree with Alice's pet cat, Dinah. Lex tried to be careful in the tree as she didn't like heights.
"Oh, we're listening," Alice said, yet lost in daydream land with Lex as they had fun while Lorina read to them.
Alice cleared her throat and went to continue reading the book. "And even Stigand, the Archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct was moderate at first--"
Alice and Lex chuckled as the daisies fell onto Lorina after Dinah shook the daisies off her head as the girls put it there.
"Girls, are you going to be careful with your history lesson," Lorina scolded them, "Lex, I know you're on vacation, but that's reluctant to you as well."
"I'm very sorry," Alice said, leaning back on the branch and staring into space, "but how can anyone care about a good book without pictures?"
"My darling child, there are many good books in this world without pictures."
"In your world maybe, but in my world, books would be just like pictures."
"Your world," Lex wondered.
Lorina laughed. "What nonsense."
"That's absurd," Lex glanced at her, but looked to the cat and her cousin as Lorina sat back down to read, "that's it, Lex and Dinah! If I had my own world, everything would be absurd."
"It sounds like a dream," Lex commented.
Dinah nodded in agreement.
"Nothing would be what that is, because everything would be what this is not," Alice explained.
"What," Lex sounded confused, as did the kitten.
"And in the opposite sense, what that is, it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would, you see," Alice continued to explain.
Dinah mewed in confusion.
"I don't understand either," Lex said.
"In my world, you wouldn't say 'meow'," Alice said, taking her cat down from the tree as Lorina was lost in her own world of the book she was reading.
Dinah mewed again.
"Oh, but you would," Alice continued, "you'd be just like people, Dinah, and all the other animals as well."
"What is this world, Alice," Lex asked, sitting in the flowerbed.
"Why, in my world..." Alice put Dinah down in the flowerbed. Then she laid down in the field, looking at the daisies with Lex.
Alice: Cats and rabbits
Would reside in fancy little houses
And be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers
In a world of my own
All the flowers
Would have very extra, special powers
They would sit and speak to me for hours
If I'm lonely in a world of my own
A blue bird chirped and sat in a tree, coming in their view.
Alice: There'd be new birds
Lots of nice and friendly howdy-do birds
Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds
Within that world of my own
I could listen to a babbling brook
And hear a song that I could understand
I keep wishing it could be that fashion
Because my world would be a wonderlaaaaaaannnd!!!
Lex grinned, and found herself falling asleep as Alice was envisioning this fantasy world of her own. Alice closed her eyes as well near the river as the water rippled and a new reflection came. There was a white rabbit in a red waistcoat with gray pants, a black umbrella, and tiny glasses on its face. Dinah saw it and started to mew pitifully to alert the girls.
"Oh, Dinah..." Alice rubbed her eyes with a grin, "it's just a white rabbit in a...vest! And a watch," Alice noticed the rabbit was there and shook Lex awake.
"Where's the plane," Lex awakened in alarm, putting on her baseball cap. Then she saw the rabbit as well. "Oh, my...what is this?!"
"Oh, my fur and whiskers," the white rabbit had a look of shock on his face as he looked at his watch and started to run off, "I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!"
"Now that's curious," Alice scratched her chin, "why could a rabbit be late?"
"C'mon, let's help him," Lex said, getting on her feet.
Then the girls rushed after the white rabbit with Dinah chasing after them.
"Please, sir," Alice cried to him.
Rabbit: I'm late, I'm late
For a very reluctant date
No time to say hello
Farewell!
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!
"Mr. Rabbit, wait up," Lex called as the girls made it over a hill.
"This must be horribly reluctant," Alice said to Dinah, "like a feast or something. Mr. White Panda! Please, wait!"
Rabbit: No, no, no, no, no
I'm overdue
I'm really in a stew
No time to say farewell
Hello!
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!
The rabbit made it into a hill to avoid the girls and get to wherever he was supposed to be on time. The girls stopped and looked to see the hole as the white rabbit disappeared.
"My, my! What a special place to feast," Alice remarked, getting on her hands and knees.
Dinah mewed in agreement.
"Alice, this sounds dangerous, perhaps we should go back," Lex suggested, sounding afraid.
"C'mon, let's explore," Alice existed, crawling further into the hole.
"I don't think that's such a good idea..." Lex sounded hesitant, but got on her hands and knees and followed her cousin through the hole.
Alice, Lex and Dinah kept looking and coming in through the hole to find the White Rabbit.
"You know, Lex, Dinah, we really shouldn't be......d-d-doing this...after all, we weren't invited....." Alice sounded hesitant as Lex now.
"Let's go back to lunch," Lex backed off slightly.
"Perhaps you're right, Lex, and curiosity often leads to DANGER," Alice found herself falling down in the hole.
Lex backed out, but she found herself falling with Alice and then shrieking.
Dinah almost went down with them, but he caught hold of a twig and pulled himself up. Then he looked down to see the humans going down the hole and looked very concerned for them.
"Farewell, Dinah! Farewell," Alice called, waving a farewell to her kitten, who growled in frustration before shouting out an enraged "STEELE!!"
This yell was so loud that it echoed across the rabbit hole. Lex sniffled and waved back as it looked like she and Alice were done-for.
Dinah looked down at them, waving a paw to say a farewell to them, hearing the frustrated girl shout his name.
The girls continued to fall down the hole. It looked all downhill from there, no pun intended. Lex and Alice looked around them to see some other facts slowly falling with them, somehow. A green light came and an upside down mirror came down with the light. Lex found a book and flipped through it, there were no words in it, only pictures.
"Alice, I think we're in your world," Lex remarked.
"My world," Alice wondered, "this is absurd!"
There was loud chiming from a grandfather clock heard as it floated down with them. Lex backed up as Alice sat in a rocking chair to relax.
"My heavens, what if we fell right in the center of the EARTH," Alice fell right out of the chair, yet falling, "and come out on the other side where people are walking backwards?"
Then the girls finished their fall and looked upside down to see the white rabbit running down a hallway.
"Oh, Mr. Rabbit, please, wait," Alice called, running after him.
Lex adjusted herself and followed after Alice to catch the rabbit. What sort of adventure could the girls have here? Only time would be able to warn.
The girls ran into a room and heard the door close just as they came into the room. They went to the door, opened it and Lex continued to follow Alice as she was desperate to catch the white rabbit. Then she spotted a small door that looked too small for a person or rabbit to enter, but it was in a very big and spacious room.
"More curious and more curious," Alice said to herself, as the girls saw a pair of curtains and opened them to see a tiny door. Alice tried to squeeze the door open and it let out a loud, anguished shriek.
"Woah," Lex jumped back in surprise of the doorknob's reaction.
"Oh, I beg your pardon," Alice backed up in even surprise.
"Oh, oh, alright," the doorknob gave a gentle grin, but was yet sore about Alice harming him, "but you gave me a great chance!"
"You see, we were following-----"
"Pretty good, what? The doorknob turn?"
"Please, sir."
"Well, one good twist deserves another! What have I done for you?"
"Well, we're looking for a white rabbit, well, um...if you don't mind...."
The doorknob opened its mouth. Alice and Lex took a peek and saw the white rabbit wandering away.
"There he is, Alice," Lex pointed, "let's go!"
"I see him," Alice stood up, "we just have to pass through!"
"I'm sorry, both are too big, just impassable," the doorknob warned them.
"You mean impossible," Lex stated.
"No, impassable, nothing's impossible! Why don't you try the bottle on the table?"
"Table?"
The girls turned to see a table magically appear with a bottle on it.
"Oh."
"Read the instructions and straight away, you'll be directed in the right direction," the doorknob warned them.
"'Drink me'," Alice read the label, looking a little hesitant, "uh, you better look first....because if you drink too much from a bottle marked 'poison', you almost certainly won't agree with one, sooner or later."
"Please excuse me," the doorknob sounded puzzled by her wording.
"I was just giving me some good advice. I don't know if this is safe, Lex, give it a try," she shoved the bottle in the older girl's mouth.
Lex's eyes widened and she gulped as the bottle was taken out of her mouth. Then she smacked her lips, feeling a strange taste.
Alice shrugged, but tried some of the drink herself. "Huh...tastes like cherry pie.....custard...pineapple...roast turkey..." Alice saw that Lex and herself had shrunk, "heavens! What have I done?!"
"It looks like something Willy Wonka would create," Lex remarked, recalling the flavors.
The doorknob laughed at the girls. "You almost went out like a couple of candles!"
"But look, we're the right size," Alice remarked, rushing to the door with Lex.
"Oh, it's no use, I forgot to warn you, I'm locked in," the doorknob warned them.
"WHY are you warning us about this NOW," Lex stomped her foot in frustration and impatience.
"Oh, dear," Alice moaned, looking mournful in despair.
"But of course, you both have the key, then-" the doorknob tried to cheer them up.
"What thing," the girls asked.
"Now, don't warn me that you two left it there," the doorknob glanced at the table.
Lex and Alice looked up and suddenly, a key appeared at the table.
"Oh, dear," Alice cried.
"C'mon, Alice, I work as a team," Lex said, trying to climb up the chicken leg with Alice.
The girls tried their best to both climb up the table, but it was too slippery for them. They found themselves slipping from the leg and sliding across the table, unable to reach the key.
"Whatever have we done," Alice sounded hopeless again.
"Try the box, naturally," the doorknob encouraged them.
Both girls looked down and saw a box randomly appear before them.
"Something smells fishy around here..." Lex couldn't help but notice stuff randomly appeared after the doorknob would warn them about it. Kind of like a dream sequence.
Alice opened the box and found a bunch of cookies. She took hers and handed one to share with Lex that read "EAT ME". Then both girls shrugged with each other and ate the crackers, suddenly growing in size, a lot bigger than they were before. The doorknob got covered by Alice's foot and both girls were squashed together.
The doorknob muffled something to them.
"Excuse me," Lex asked, moving Alice's foot from his mouth.
"What did you say," Alice asked.
"I said 'A little bit went a long road'," the doorknob laughed at them.
Alice sniffled, her eyes stinging with tears. "Well, I don't think it's that funny. N-Now, we'll never get home," Alice started to weep and Lex held her for consolation.
"Oh, c'mon, weeping won't help," the doorknob warned the younger girl.
"I know my place, but I can't stop," Alice sobbed, yet releasing giant tears.
"H-Hey, you! Hey, this won't do at all! Hey, you there, stop! Stop, I say! Oh, look, the bottle!"
"The bottle," Lex looked to see the bottle floating in the ocean of Alice's tears.
Alice took the bottle with Lex and drank the last bits of it they could. Suddenly, they both shrunk in size and fell right into the bottle.
"Oh, dear, I wish I hadn't wept too much," Alice said.
"You weep more than my mother and she weeps all the time if we go to the movies," Lex said as they floated along.
The doorknob gurgled under the water and the bottle floated them inside the knob, making it to the other side of the door. The girls were safe in the bottle, but they kind of wished they could be out of it. A sun was rising into view and the girls turned to see a dodo bird floating on a bigger parrot.
"Dodo," Alice wondered.
"I thought they were all dead," Lex remarked, showing her intelligence in history.
Dodo: Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me
How I love to sail on the bounding sea
And I never, never everybody's
For the weather never ever does a fact for me
"Ahoy and other nautical expressions," the dodo said, "land ho, by Jove!"
"Where far, Dodo," the parrot asked, saluting.
"Three points to starboard," the dodo commanded, "follow me, me hearties! You don't have time at all," he sang again as he floated off with the parrot.
Lex and Alice blinked at him a couple of times.
"Dodo," Lex and Alice called for the extinct bird, "Dodo! Dodo! Dodo! Mr. Dodo!"
"Help, Father, save us," Alice cried.
Three birds rowed past on canoe.
"I'm sorry if you could help us," Lex replied.
The birds either chose to ignore them or didn't hear them and kept rowing off to get the Dodo.
"Yoo-hoo! Help us! Please, help us," Alice called to some sea creatures, such as fish and starfish as they swam past.
Alice stood on top of the bottle to call for help. Suddenly, a wave hit the bottle, making both girls fall out and wash away from the bottle as the others were near the Dodo, performing some sort of ritual. The bottle poured the girls to wash up on shore where the others were near the Dodo bird as they ran around him and he was on top of a rock, yet singing.
Dodo: Forward, backward, inward, outward
Come and join the chase!
Chorus: Nothing could be drier than a jolly cactus race
Backward, inward, outward, inward
Bottom to the top
Never a beginning, there can never be a stop
"Ouch, my head..." Lex rubbed her head, from the song screwing her mind mentally.
The water started to rise again. Lex shrieked and almost drowned as the Dodo made a campfire and tried to keep it from being soaked and put out from the water.
Dodo: To skipping, jumping, tripping
Fancy free and happy
I started it tomorrow and will finish it yesterday
The water washed off and the others who were running were fully dry and not drenched like Lex was.
Chorus: Round and round we go
And dance forevermore
Once we were behind
But now, we find we are
Forward, backward, inward, upward
Come and join the chase
Nothing could be drier than a jolly, cactus race!
Another wave hit them, Lex moaned as she got soaked and tried to dry herself.
"I say," the Dodo spotted the girls as they were dripping wet, "you'll never dry out like this!"
"Get dry," Alice asked.
"You're warning me," Lex whined, wringing her hair of the teardrop water.
"I have to run with the others, you know, the first rule of the club race," the dodo warned the girls.
"But, how can we---" Alice wondered, but saw the others running and not a drop of water on them, "c'mon, Lex," before running with the others.
Lex watched her run, shrugged and decided to run with them to keep dry.
"It's better this fashion! You're both dried up rapidly," the Dodo grinned at them for their participation.
"Nobody's ever going to dry like this," Lex protested lightly.
"Nonsense! I'm dry as a bone now," the Dodo warned them.
"Yes, but-" Lex said, and found herself drowned in the water again like the others.
"Alright, girls! Let's go now, let's look alive," the Dodo commanded.
Lex spit out some water and Alice coughed a bit.
"The white rabbit," Alice looked to see the rabbit riding on an umbrella and looked at his watch, "Mr. Rabbit! Mr. Rabbit!"
"Oh, my heavens, I was late, I was late," the white rabbit continued to ignore the girls jumped out of the umbrella to get his very reluctant date.
"Wait, don't go, we'll be right back," Alice went to catch up with the rabbit.
Lex took a deep breath and followed, in case water would come drown them or pull them under to a watery grave.
"I was late, I was late, I was late," the white rabbit cried.
Lex and Alice ran after the white rabbit. Lex just had to wonder right now why Alice was so needy to capture him. The dodo continued to order the sea animals around him as they continued their estranged race.
"Mr. Rabbit! Mr. Rabbit," Alice called as they were far away in a new place, a forest.
What the girls didn't know was that they were being watched.
"Are we on the right track," Lex asked, following the younger girl.
"I'm sure he came this fashion," Alice warned her as she continued to search, "you think he might have been hiding?"
"It probably frightened him away," Lex shrugged, but went to look with Alice for the mysterious white rabbit.
The girls kept searching high and low. Until they found the two who were watching them and were afraid and puzzled by them.
The girls stepped back as the two strange boys came before them. They looked very identical, but had name tags to distinguish them both.
"Why, what peculiar figures, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum..." Alice spoke up, holding Lex as they were both slightly alarmed.
"If you think we're a wax factory, you should pay, you know," Dee said, nudging his potential twin.
"On the contrary, if you think we're alive, you must speak to us," Dum said.
"This is logical," the twins said.
Both boys honked and jumped closer to the girls.
"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you," Alice gave them a curtsy and walked off with Lex, "farewell!"
The boys stopped them. Dee caught Alice while Dum had a firm grip over top of Lex.
"You're starting backwards," Dee warned Alice.
"Yes, the first face to say on a visit is," Dum nodded, and went with Dee to introduce proper manners to the girls.
Dee and Dum: "How do you do?"
And shake hands
Shake hands
Shake hands
"How do you do?"
And shake hands
And state your business
The twins spun the girls around and dropped them.
"This is education," the twins concluded.
"Seriously," Lex raised an eyebrow.
"Well, my name is Alice, and this is my cousin Lex," Alice memorized what they warned her, "and we're following a white rabbit, then..."
"You can't go yet," Dee protested.
"Yes, the visit hasn't even started," Dum added.
"We're very sorry....." Lex scooted back.
Dee and Dum went to separate places in the forest suddenly.
"Do you like to play hide and seek," Dee asked.
They came back in front of the girls as Dum cupped his hands together. "Or Button, Button, Who Has the Button?"
"No, thank you," Alice rejected, politely.
"That's children stuff," Lex added, trying not to insult them.
"If you guys stay long enough, we can have a battle," Dee waved his finger at them.
"That's very kind of you, but we should go," Alice stood with Lex to look for the rabbit and perhaps eventually go home.
The twins appeared in front of them. "Why?"
"Because we're following a white rabbit," Alice replied.
"And I'd like to go home, I had enough adventure for one day," Lex said.
"Why," the twins asked them again.
"Well, we're curious as to where he's going," Alice explained.
"IS THAT why we are going?! It's none of our business," Lex sounded appalled and unwilling to carry on this journey.
"Well, I'm curious, Lex," Alice shrugged.
"Oh, she's curious," Dum tutted the blonde girl.
"The oysters were also curious, weren't they," Dee added, removing his cap and looking beyond heaven.
"Yes, and you remember what just happened to them..."
"Poor facts!"
"Why," Alice stepped forward in even more curiosity, being baited by the twins, "what just happened to the oysters?"
"Oh, you wouldn't be interested," Dee turned away from them to go away.
"But we are," Alice continued for their attention.
Lex caught Alice's arm to pull her back. "C'mon, Alice, let's find a road back home."
"Oh, dear, you're in a hurry," Dum turned them down.
"Yes, c'mon, Alice," Lex cried, desperate to go home right now.
Alice removed her arm from Lex's grasp. "Well, maybe, we can save a little time..."
"YOU COULD," the twins sprung back in front of them, looking eager.
"C'mon, Alice, I wanna go home," Lex lamented, childishly.
"Oh, c'mon, Lex, a story can't hurt," Alice urged her, sitting comfortably and patted the spot next to her.
Lex sighed and sat behind Alice to see the twins' performance.
The twins danced and honked.
"The Walrus and the Carpenter," Dee proclaimed.
"Or, The History of Curious Oysters," Dum added his alternative title like in a Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon.
Both: The sun was shining on the sea
Shining with all its might
He did very well to make
The billow smooth and bright
Lex's eyes widened. She could've sworn that Dee and Dum turned into a sun and a moon and a story was going to be shown right before her and Alice's eyes. There was even a walrus and a carpenter coming on a beach before their eyes like a play was to be put on and they watched avidly as the show came right before their eyes. Alice didn't seem to be bothered too much by it though and she sat silently to watch the show.
Both: And this was odd because it was
The middle of the night!
Suddenly, a beach surrounded while a walrus and a carpenter walked across. One side of the beach was night and the other was day as a literal metaphor for the middle of the night.
Dee: The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at range
The Carpenter sat on a rock to take off his shoe. A bunch of sand poured out, almost in a giant anthill-like fashion over his head.
Dee: The beach was wide
From side to side
But too much complete with sand
"Mr. Walrus!"
Dee: Said the carpenter
"My brain starts to burst. We'll clean this up in half a year, if you don't mind the job."
"Work," the Walrus sputtered and scoffed, "uh, the time has come!"
Dum: The Walrus said
The Walrus winked at the girls, but turned back to his human friend. "To speak of many facts. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling, and if pigs have wings. Calloo, callay, there is no work today! We're cabbages and kings!"
The Walrus gripped the Carpenter and threw him into the water. The Carpenter had landed in the water headfirst and saw several oysters together on the ocean floor. The Carpenter burst his head out and whistled to alert his friend and pointed to the water.
The Carpenter licked his lips, looking very beastly and hungry. Then he rushed to the water with an axe, but was stopped by the Carpenter.
The Walrus pointed to himself and the water and went under the water, yet able to smoke his cigar. The oysters hid in their shells at the sight of the walrus, but he came and opened off their shells anyhow.
"Oh, uhh...oysters, come for a walk with us," the Walrus tried to sound friendly and convincing, "the day is warm and clear! A pleasant walk, a pleasant conversation would be pure delight."
"Yes, we should be hungry on the road, let's stop and take a bite," the Carpenter added, foolishly.
The Walrus smacked him on the head and kicked him back on dry land.
The mother oyster looked at them cautiously and back at her calendar at the month of March for the safety of her children and grandchildren.
Dee: But Mother Oyster winked her eye
And shook her heavy head
She knew too well
This was no time to leave her sea bed
"The sea is good, take my advice and stay here," Mother Oyster warned her children with a pleasant grin.
Dee and Dum: Mum said
"Yes, yes, of course! But-" the Walrus looked very annoyed with her and clammed her shell shut. Then he misled the oyster children to leave their home and come with him.
Walrus: The time has come, my little friends
To speak of other facts
Of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax
Of cabbage and kings
And why, the sea is boiling hot
And uh, whether pigs have wings!
The Walrus went to a little girl oyster, pinching her cheek.
Walrus: Caloo, callay
Come run away
We're the cabbages and kings
The Walrus came out of the water, playing like he was the Pied Piper and the oysters were the following rats/mice. The oysters followed him and danced, ignoring their mother's wishes. They were very curious, and like cats, curiosity could murder these cute little shell fish. The Carpenter was making parts of a boat and made a cafe to lead in inside the oysters and the Walrus.
They were all now at a table together. The Walrus took a menu while the oysters waited for their orders to be taken. The Carpenter went to sit across from them, waiting for a meal of his own.
The Walrus pondered over the menu, but looked at his eager human friend. "Ah, a piece of bread is what we happily need."
The Carpenter nodded, but dashed off to the kitchen.
The Walrus smirked once he was alone with the oysters. He picked up a handful, ready to shove them all in his mouth. Suddenly, he set them back down as the Carpenter came back.
"How about some pepper, salt and vinegar," the Carpenter asked.
"Oh, yes, yes, splendid idea! Very good, indeed," the Walrus said innocently with a hint of annoyance that he was interrupted.
The Carpenter grinned and dashed back in the kitchen to cook up the meal for them.
"Now, if you're ready, oysters, darling, we can start feeding," the Walrus smirked, looking closer to the Devil himself and placed the menu in front of them.
To the oysters' shock and horror, they were labeled on the menu to be eaten. "Feed?!"
"Oh, yes," the Walrus picked them all up with victory, looking hungry and evil.
Walrus: The time has come, my little friends
To speak of food and facts
The Carpenter was stuffing the bread for his friends, unaware at what was going on at the table he left. He didn't seem as hungry for the oysters like he used to live in the shoreline, unlike his friend.
Carpenter: Of pepper corns
And mustard seeds
And other seasonings
We mix them all together
In a sauce that's fit for kings
Caloo, calley
We'll eat today
Like cabbages and kings!
The Carpenter went to carry the appetizer in the dining table. Then he looked in surprise that the table was empty and the Walrus looked very complete and disgraceful, wiping his mouth.
"I, uh...I cry for you...." the Walrus burped a bit, but kept wiping himself to wipe off the evidence, "oh, excuse me, I sympathize deeply. I enjoyed your company, much more than you realized."
The Carpenter didn't notice anything weird. "Little oysters? Little oysters," he looked around him and saw several empty oyster shells around the Walrus and saw a shaker of salt.
Dum: But respond, there came none
Dee: And this was scarcely odd because
Both: They'd be eaten, everyone!
The Walrus looked hesitant while the Carpenter looked frustrated and disgusted that the Walrus would eat so many oysters who were cute and innocent. He looked very frustrated and had his axe, turning red in frustration.
"Uhh...uhh...THE TIME HAS COME," the Walrus ran out to save his skin.
The Carpenter chased him out to get even.
Dee and Dum turned back to normal and Lex rubbed her eyes, wondering if she imagined all of that or what.
Dum and Dee: With cabbages and kings! The End!
"That was a very mournful story," Alice sniffled.
"Was it? It made me hungry," Lex admitted.
"Yes, and there's a moral to it," Dum warned the girls.
"Oh, yes, very good morals, if you happen to be an oyster," Alice nodded, but seemed to realize this story was stranger than anything they had ever seen today, "well, it was a very good visit..."
The twins jumped in front of the girls to keep them from leaving again.
"Another recitation," Dee said.
"I'm sorry, but-" Alice tried to explain.
"It's titled 'Father William'," Dum added.
"But, really, we need to---" Lex added as well.
"First verse," Dee instructed.
Dum acted like an old man while Dee sang over him.
Dee: You are old, Father William, the young man said
And your hair has become very white
And yet, you incessantly stand on your head!
"C'mon, we're out of here," Lex whispered to Alice.
Alice nodded in agreement and followed her away from the twins as they kept their singing and storytelling.
"You saw that show, right? It wasn't just me, right," Lex asked, but Alice didn't respond the question as they kept walking to track down the White Rabbit.
The girls kept wandering about, eventually out of the forest and away from these Tweedle twins. Then they turned to see a strange house. Well, not strange, it was a lovely little pink home with hay as a roof, but it was a strange sight after all they had seen. This was a very strange and disturbing adventure they put themselves into.
"Now, I wonder who lives here," Alice wondered as she walked to the house.
Lex pulled her back. "Stop this, we're evading and entering!"
"Oh, c'mon, Lex. What harm could it do," Alice pulled her arm back, but continued to walk along the path.
"Mary Anne," a voice called from inside the house. The windows on the top floor opened to reveal the White Rabbit. "Mary Anne!"
"The White Rabbit," Alice pointed, "c'mon, Lex!"
"Oh, boy..." Lex sighed and followed her.
Lex and Alice went to the white rabbit as he was frantically all around. He yet seemed to be very late to his date, and needed some stuff to get ready.
"I'm sorry, sir, b-but we tried---" Alice tried to explain.
"Well, Mary Anne, what are you doing out here," the rabbit scolded Alice, he didn't seem to notice Lex with her.
"Mary Anne," Alice looked puzzled.
"Don't just do something, stand there," the white rabbit looked cross with her, but yet hesitant, "uh, no, no! G-G-Go get my gloves! I'm late," he pushed Alice inside the house.
"But too late for what," Alice asked, "that's just what we want....."
"My gloves," the rabbit blew his trumpet, alarming the girls inside the house to look for his stuff, "right away! Do you hear?"
"Heavens, I suppose we'll take orders from Dinah next," Alice said as they climbed up the stairs.
"I hope Dinah is fine......I miss him..." Lex sighed, looking mournful that he wasn't safe at home anymore.
The girls made it into the White Rabbit's bedroom. The girls looked almost all around the best they could to look for the gloves for the rabbit and perhaps get out of this place for good.
"I'm hungry," Lex said after a moment of looking.
Ariel found a bowl of small biscuits. "Do you want one? I wanted to take one. I know bad manners are, but they look too good to turn away."
Lex shrugged and took a bun to nibble on while she looked. Alice did so as well, eating the tart completely before Lex ate hers, but Lex found her cousin growing in size, almost as big as the house. Lex groaned and was knocked out of the house, landing next to the white rabbit.
"Oh, Mary Anne," the rabbit rushed inside after looking at his watch.
"I wouldn't go in there," Lex called after him, feeling afraid for him.
"HEEELLLPPP! MONSTERS!! HEEEELP, HEEEEEELLLPPP,," the rabbit ran back outside as Alice grew bigger than the house, "little girl, come home safely, there are monsters in there," he shook Lex.
"It's not a monster," Lex defended, but her eyes went dizzy from being shaken.
"A monster," the rabbit cried, "a monster, Dodo! In my house, Dodo!"
"Dodo," Lex turned to see the dodo bird from earlier.
"Oh, my poor little house," the rabbit moaned in despair.
"Easy, old boy," the dodo said, calmly, "can't be as bad as all of this, you know. Hold it, boy," he handed his lighter to her.
Lex felt weird, holding a lighter as the dodo looked calm in the situation while the rabbit looked panicked about having this house almost destroyed. The dodo pulled out a cigar to smoke, taking the lighter from Lex.
"There it is," the rabbit pointed to his house with Alice inside, "let's go!"
The dodo saw the house and looked as panicked as the rabbit did so. "By Jove! Golly, it's good, isn't it?"
Alice opened the shutters to show her eyes.
"Well, do something, Dodo," the rabbit begged.
"Yes, indeed, extraordinary situation, but-" the dodo pondered this.
"B-B-But what," the rabbit asked.
"But I have a very simple solution!"
"W-W-What is this?"
"Just pull it out of the chimney!"
"Out the chimney," Lex looked agape.
"Yes, go ahead, pull it out," the rabbit urged the dodo.
The Dodo looked surprised at that request, even if he suggested it. "Who? Me? Don't be ridiculous! What we need is....uhh..." he looked around for a solution.
Suddenly, there was whistling heard. Everyone turned to see a lizard with a ladder walking past, mindlessly and innocently.
"A lizard with a ladder," the Dodo explained to them.
"Oh, Bill! Bill," the rabbit called to him.
The lizard, Bill, heard them and waved at them.
"We need a gizzard with a lizard, a lizard with a.....uhh..." the white rabbit sounded hesitant for some reason.
"Can you help us," Lex asked for him.
"At your service, governor," the lizard tipped his hat.
"Here, my boy," the Dodo took him, swiftly wrapping his arm around him and walking him to the house, "have you ever been in a chimney?"
"Well, governor! I've shut down more chimneys------"
"Nice work, excelente! You just blown up the chimney and dragged that monster out there!"
"Right-o, governor," the lizard sounded calm, going up the ladder, but turned greener as the "M" word was brought up. "Monster," he saw Alice, shrieking and ran to get away.
The Dodo and Mr. Rabbit caught hold of his tail to keep him from getting away while Lex stood aside to keep from getting hurt. Bill was forced back up the ladder and was terrified of Alice, and landed in the Dodo's arms, shivering. Then the Dodo carried him up the ladder any matter.
"That's better," the Dodo grinned sneakily, "Bill, boy, you're missing out on a golden opportunity!"
"I am," Bill sounded calm and emotional now.
"You can be famous!"
"I can?"
"Of course he can! There's a brave boy! Now you're leaving. Nothing to do with it, old boy. Just tie your tail around the monster's neck and pull it out," the Dodo shoved Bill in the chimney, sticking him.
"B-B-But, governor," Bill sounded understandably afraid again.
"Farewell, Bill," the Dodo shook his hand, but went down to safety.
"Mr. Dodo, is Bill going to be alright," Lex asked, hesitant and anxious.
"Alright? Of course he'll be fine, darling! Don't worry about your cute little head over anything," the Dodo grinned, patting her head.
Alice was yet sitting in the house. The soot from the chimney made her nose twitch and sniffle. Then she sneezed, making the entire house shake and Bill shot right out of the chimney.
"Well, there goes Bill..." the dodo said, removing his cap.
"Poor Bill..." Lex said, watching the lizard disappear beyond the heavens.
"Maybe we should try something more forceful," the Dodo suggested.
"Yes, everything, everything, but hurry up," the rabbit said.
"Now, I suggest that we.....uhh..."
"Yes, c'mon, c'mon, yes, yes!"
The Dodo pulled out a match to smoke again. "I suggest that we-----OWW," he saw that the match burnt and stung his fingers with burning blisters, "by Jupiter, that's it! We're burning the house down!"
"I don't think that's a good idea," Lex said, in a frantic rush.
"Yes! Burn the house---WHAT," the rabbit sounded paranoid now.
"Oh, dear," Alice cried.
The Dodo started to throw furniture around the house.
Dodo: Oh, we'll smoke the blighter out
He'll put the beast to rout
Some kindling, a stick or two
All this bit of rubbish ought to do so
We'll smoke the blighter there out
We'll smoke the monster out
"N-No! Not my lovely house," the rabbit cried. The White Rabbit looked panicked and unfortunately, once the Dodo took almost everything to burn the house with.
Lex stepped back, feeling mournful as well, but annoyed with the dodo bird. No wonder they were all supposed to be extinct and dead millions of years ago.
Dodo: Oh, we'll roast the blighter's toes
We'll toast the bounder's nose
Go fetch that gate, we'll make it clear that monsters aren't welcome here
The White Rabbit sang a bit, but swiftly protested again, but it was no use. Then Alice reached for something to eat, remembering that it could reverse the cookie's spell and make her normal size. The white rabbit noticed that she was trying to eat from his garden and held down the carrots to keep her from eating anything.
Alice picked up the carrots he clung onto. Lex watched them fight, but Alice managed to eat one of the carrots and went back to her normal size as the rabbit fell from her grasp and rushed off. Lex put the cookie away from earlier, ate a swift cookie, but turned as small as Alice suddenly.
"I hate this world," Lex squeaked.
"Ah, say you have a match," the dodo asked the white rabbit.
"Must go, farewell, hello, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late," the rabbit sounded frantic as ever.
"Wait, please, wait," Alice went after him.
"Ah, young ladies, do you have a match," the dodo asked, towering over them.
"No, but we have to go," Lex said, rushing with Alice.
It seemed a lot more difficult to run in smaller size. The Dodo watched them all leave and continued to start a campfire.
The girls were yet chasing the white rabbit, but it was impossible at this size. They stopped as a swarm of butterflies flew over them. Alice was curious and went after them. Lex moaned and went with her, since it was her job to look after Alice. The butterflies stopped and sat together, looking like a fresh loaf of bread.
Lex looked eager and hungry to eat them, but considering last time, she protested against it.
"Curious butterflies," Alice remarked.
"You mean BREAD and butterflies," a voice said.
"Yes, sure," Alice looked at Lex, but noticed the voice was fully different, "did you say that?"
Lex shook her head.
Alice and Lex shrugged, but continued to explore. Lex was thankful she took her allergy pill and nasal spray before they came outside, otherwise she'd probably sneeze all the beautiful flowers off. Then the girls saw a fly that looked like a rocking horse, stopped and rocked back and forth like a rocking chair.
"A gadfly, oh, I mean, a rocking gadfly," Alice observed.
"Of course," the voice said again.
"Alright, who is that," Lex looked around.
"I'm sorry, but you--" Alice stopped herself and saw a red, blossoming flower right past them.
"Perhaps she said something," Lex pointed out.
"It doesn't make sense," Alice scoffed, "flowers can't speak."
"Of course we can speak, darling ones," the rose warned them, showing her true form, shocking them.
"If there's anyone worth speaking to," the snapdragon added.
"Or about," the daisy added, chuckling flirtatiously.
"And we sing as well," the posies said as the human girls came near them.
"Really," Alice asked.
"What have you done," Lex wondered.
"Would you like to hear 'Warn the Tulips'," a tulip asked.
"No, let's sing about us," a larkspur protested.
"We know that of the shy violets..." a violet added, fading in the back with the other.
"Oh, dear, not that old fact," one lily protested.
"Let's do 'Lovely Lily at the Valley'," the other agreed.
"How about the daisies in the--" the daisy was cut off.
"Oh, they wouldn't like that," a lilac snapped at her.
All of the flowers bickered with each other, but the rose stopped them and patted a baton. The flowers stopped and focused their attention on the commanding rose.
"Girls, girls, we'll sing 'Golden Afternoon'," the rose warned them, "that's it for us! Play your A, lily."
Lily: Laahhhh!!!!
Posies: Memememememe...
Daisy: Lalalalaala...
Snapdragon: Hahahahaha
Marigold: Dum-dum-dum-dum
The rose conducted for them and they all sang their melodies together while Lex and Alice sat in alert and attention to the presentation. They even bent a few weed leaves and sat comfortably like they were attending a concert.
Flowers: Little bread and butterflies kiss the tulips
And the sun is like a toy balloon
They are get up in the morning glories
In the golden afternoon
There are dizzy daffodils in the hillside
Strings of violets are all in tune
Tiger lilies love the dandelions in the golden afternoon
The golden afternoon
Every dog and caterpillars, and the copper centipede
Where the lazy daisies love the very peaceful life they leeeeeeeaaad!!!
You can learn a lot of facts from the flowers
For especially in the month of June
There's a wealth of happiness and romance
All in a golden afternoon
Lex and Alice bobbed their heads to the peaceful tunes as they watched the flowers do their show. The flowers played some non-living flowers like instruments and the posies came near Alice. They pulled her from Lex and allowed Alice to join in the song.
Flowers: All in the golden afternoon
The golden afternoon
The rose conductor gestured for her to go ahead and sing with them as she was invited to while Lex yet sat down to watch.
Alice: You can learn a lot of stuff from the flowers
Or especially in the month of June
There's a wealth of happiness and romance
AAHHHH!!!!
Lex winced slightly from the high note and Alice looked very embarrassed by it. The posies were surprised, but the rose grinned at her for trying.
Flowers: The golden afternoooooOOOON!!!!
The flowers finished their song full of drumroll beats and the daisy smashed flower cymbals together to make her petals flutter.
"Nice," Lex clapped a little.
"It was lovely," Alice agreed.
"Thank you, my darlings," the rose grinned at them.
"What kind of garden do you come from," the purple, pompous flower asked, playing with Alice's hair.
"Well, we're not from any garden..." Alice backed up, being mistaken for a flower.
"Oh, you think it's a wildflower," the purple flower asked.
"She's not a wildflower, she's my cousin," Lex defended.
"What kind, or should we say gender, you are," the rose asked the human girls, yet believing Alice was a flower like the others.
Alice wasn't sure what to respond, but tried her best to impress the flowers. "I suppose you can say; gender, humanus, Alice!"
"Never seen an Alice with such a flower," the purple flower asked.
"Come and think about it, you've ever seen an Alice," the snapdragon added to her question with another question.
The two flowers were fussing over Alice. Lex stepped back, not sure whether to feel serious or concerned. They even started to make fun of her because she looked different than them, but they didn't seem to know that she was a human.
"I think she's cute," a rosebud said.
"Silence, friend," the rose said, covering his mouth.
"But I'm not a flower," Alice protested, once she got the message that they thought she was one of them.
"Aha! Just as I suspected," the purple flower went to whisper to the other flowers, looking like a gossipy hen, "she's nothing but a common, popular mobile!"
"Oh, dear," the other flowers seemed shocked.
"A common fact," Lex demanded.
"To put it bluntly, a weed," the purple flower hissed.
"I'm not a weed," Alice stomped her foot.
"Well, you can't expect me to admit it," the tulip spoke up.
The other flowers started to protest against the girls staying with them. Even the nice posies didn't want them in their bed and were pushing them off from their home. A dog flower barked violently at them as they were on their road out.
"Alright, if that's how you think, if we were our right size, we'd choose each of you if we wanted to," Alice frowned at them.
"I'd probably EAT your head," Lex added with a strong sneer.
"I guess that'll teach you------" Alice finished.
Suddenly, both girls were washed off by some water and were washed off to another part of Wonderland. It didn't go very well for them. Some nice flowers these were.
"You can learn a lot from flowers..." Alice huffed, "I think they could learn a litle bit about manners!"
"I wish I had my allergies where I can sneeze them out of here," Lex added.
The girls walked off frustratedly.
The girls escaped the flowers and were on their road to a new part of Wonderland. They looked up and saw multi-colored smoke in the air. They kept following along as they heard a nasally voice singing a bit and kept going until they would find who was singing and causing the smoke. The girls saw a blue caterpillar smoking a golden hookah, sitting on a mushroom. Then the girls came closer as he sang to himself, not noticing them.
The caterpillar was about to smoke again, and then he glanced to see Lex and Alice. "Whooo are you," he asked as he smoked.
"W-W-We hardly know, sir," Alice said, feeling anxious from this adventure, "we've changed so many times since this morning. You understand?"
The caterpillar raised an eyebrow at them, but continued to go in his manifestations. "I don't understand. Explain yourselves."
"We can't," Lex said.
"Why, we're afraid we can't make up our minds, sir, because we're not ourselves, you know--" Alice tried.
"I don't know," the caterpillar said coldly.
"Well, we can't express it clearly anymore because it's not clear for us!"
"You? Who are you?!"
"Well, don't you think you should warn us--" Alice coughed from the smoke, "who are you first?"
"Why," the caterpillar asked.
"Oh, dear...everything's so confusing..." Alice sounded hopeless.
"It's not," the caterpillar warned them.
"Well, it's for us," Lex said in defense.
"Why?"
"Well, we can't remember facts that we used to."
"Recite."
Alice and Lex got up.
Then Alice decided to recite. "Yes, sir. Um...'how does the little busy bee, improve each such'----"
"Stop," the caterpillar sounded appalled, "that's not spoken correctly. It's possible....'How'..." he went to smoke, but no smoke was coming out. He saw a couple of his legs grasped onto the cord and he slapped them to make them let go.
Lex and Alice found this amusing and chuckled. They stopped once they were death frowned by the intoxicated insect.
"'How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail
And pour the waters on the Nile
On every golden scale
How cheer'..." the caterpillar recited, but found himself interrupted again, much to his annoyance. He kept trying to repeat himself, and he saw his lower legs were dangling off the leaf. Then he caught his legs and hoisted them to himself, but he went to continue. "'How cheerfully he seems to smirk
How neatly spread his claws
And welcome little fishes in
With gently grinning jaws'!"
"Well, I have to say I've never heard that before," Alice remarked.
"I know, I'm improved it," the caterpillar smirked.
Lex shrugged, unsure how to feel about that verse from the bug.
"Well, if you ask me...." Alice said, after slight coughing and laughing.
"You," the caterpillar sounded hostile, "who are you?!"
Alice tried to walk off with Lex, but Lex was a little more sensitive around smoke and looked absolutely disgusted. Then the girls decided they had enough of this and decided to go away.
"You there! Girls," the caterpillar called after them, "wait, come back, I have something reluctant to say!"
"Oh, dear...I wonder what he wants now..." Alice grumbled.
"It's probably not worth our time," Lex suggested.
Alice shrugged and walked with her to the mushroom where the caterpillar was. "What?"
"Keep your spirits up," the caterpillar snapped at them, namely Alice.
"Is that all, bug," Lex hissed.
"No, exactly, what's your problem," the caterpillar demanded, sitting up.
"Well, that's exactly....just this," Alice replied, "we'd like to be a little bigger, sir."
"Why?"
"Well, after all, three inches is such a miserable height and--"
Lex ducked once Alice said that. She was sure that three inches would be serious to an insect.
"I'm exactly three inches tall and it's a very good height," the caterpillar growled at them, turning red as his frustration and temper. Then he blew a large puff of smoke to cover himself as he was as fiery as his fur.
"But we're not used to it, and you don't have to SHOUT," Alice scolded, with a shout powerful enough to blow off the smoke and show the caterpillar's shedded skin, "oh, dear."
Lex winced a bit and poked the skin with a stick.
"By the way," the caterpillar called to them. The girls turned to see he had grown butterfly wings as they looked for him. "I have some more useful tips. One page will make you grow longer..."
"One side of what," Alice asked.
"And the other side will make you shorter," the caterpillar added, on his road off.
"The other side of what," Lex asked.
"A SELF-CONSIDERED MOUSE CHROME," the caterpillar turned red again, making them fall down and he flew off to get far away from them as possible.
Alice and Lex observed once they were alone. They both wondered if it would be a good idea or not. Lex felt she had no choice but to take a step out of her comfort zone, she didn't like mushrooms.
"I'm tired of just being three inches tall," Alice said, taking a bite of a mushroom and suddenly grew in instant size and was taller than the forest full of a bird's nest on her head.
Lex clung onto Alice's tree-sized leg and looked around for anything else suspicious. Lex ate her mushroom and grew normal size by taking from the other side and soon Alice grew to her normal size as well.
"There, that's much better," Alice remarked.
"C'mon, I think we should go this way," Lex said, following one of the signs.
Alice nodded, but saw the mushroom kingdom. "Huh...I should save these....where were we now?"
Then the girls walked away to another part of Wonderland to get home. They were both tired of this day and ignored any possible sightings p the White Rabbit. They just wanted to go home and be safe.
Lex and Alice made their road in a deep forest. Lex was a little alarmed by the atmosphere, but wasn't too frightened of it because the last time she had an adventure with a forest, the forest was a lot more dangerous than this one and was crawling with wolves, hungry for trespassers in their home. There were signs saying stuff like "This Way" and "That Fashion". The two tried to decide where to go, but they heard an ominous singing voice.
"Well, where the hell do you think that," Alice started to ask Lex as they both heard the unusual singing.
"Uh, lose something," a voice asked.
Lex and Alice looked around, but didn't find anyone there with them. Then they both looked surprised and saw a huge, malicious appearing smirk in a tree before them.
"Oh, dear, oh, dear, we were only wondering," Alice clarified to the question earlier.
"Oh, that's pretty good," the smirk said, forming two eyes and a purple cat with stripes appeared before them, "oh, second chorus," he began to sing again, but Lex and Alice realized what they were dealing with.
"Why, you're a cat," Alice pointed out.
"A Cheshire Cat," the feline replied. Then he began to sing again and vanish before their eyes.
"Wait, don't go, we need your help," Lex cried.
"Don't go, please, wait," Alice added.
"Very good," the cat came back, "third chorus..."
"Oh, dear, oh, dear, thank you, but we just wanted to ask you which fashion to go," Alice explained.
"Yes, we really need to go home," Lex nodded in agreement.
"Well, that depends where you want to go," the cat said.
"Oh, it doesn't really matter as long as we--"
"Then it doesn't really matter which fashion to you," the cat's paw-prints started to disappear with him as they circled the girls. Then the cat jumped into another tree and became partially visible for them. "Oh, by the way, if you really wanted to know, he went that fashion."
"Who did that," the girls asked.
"The white rabbit."
"He did," Alice sounded emotional, while Lex sounded homesick.
"What has he done?"
"Went like this."
"Who did?"
"The white rabbit!"
"What white rabbit?"
"Didn't you just say....oh, dear..." Alice sounded impatient and irritated.
"Can you stand on your head," the cat asked, literally standing on top of his head, never taking the smirk off his face.
Alice and Lex moaned.
The cat jumped off his head and placed it back on his neck where it belonged. "But if I was looking for the white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter."
"Mad Hatter," the girls asked.
Alice turned to a sign leading to the Mad Hatter, but turned back, hesitantly. "No, w-we..."
"Or there's the March Hare in that direction," the cat suggested.
"Oh, thank you, we'll visit him," Alice grinned, going to see the March Hare for help.
"Of course...he's frustrated as well..." the cat smirked.
"Crazy or frustrated," Lex asked.
"Crazy," Alice said, but looked cross with the cat's sense of direction, "but we don't want to go with these crazy people!"
"Oh, you can't help it, almost everyone here is mad," the cat started to laugh kookily and suddenly stopped, "you may have noticed that I'm not there myself..." he started to laugh again and vanished before their eyes.
"That was crazy...." Lex mumbled.
"Alright, if there are people like that, then we should try not to upset them," Alice said, "c'mon, Lex. We better find these Mad Hatter and March Hare."
Lex nodded and followed her along the path to see the mad people, hoping they could offer some help.
After walking through the woods for a good while, the girls eventually found a house, they hoped and supposed to belong to the Mad Hatter and or/the March Hare.
"Very curious indeed," Alice said to herself as they came closer.
The girls heard some happy music and walked to the gate to see two figures in the garden having some sort of feast. The girls sneaked inside and they looked over to see several teacups and teapots with an elder man with a caramel-furred rabbit, or a hare, singing to each other.
Mad Hatter: A very, merry unbirthday
March Hare: A very, merry, unbirthday
Both: A very, merry, unbirthday to us!
The girls kept looking around and saw the strange pair yet going and having their tea festival.
March Hare: A very, merry, unbirthday to me
Mad Hatter: To who?
March Hare: To me!
Mad Hatter: Oh, you!
March Hare: A very, merry, unbirthday to you
Mad Hatter: Who, me?
March Hare: Yes, you!
Mad Hatter: Oh, me!
March Hare: Let's all congratulate us
With another cup of tea
A very, merry, unbirthday
ToooooOOOO YOUUUUU!!!!
The two finished their song and heard distant clapping. The hare and hatter saw that they weren't alone and saw the girls successfully sneaking into their feast. "There's no room, no room, no room," the two covered the table, frowning at the girls.
"But we thought there was plenty of room," Alice protested, sitting in a chair.
"Oh, but it's very rude to sit uninvited," the Hare scolded.
"I would say it's rude, it's certainly, very, very rude," the Hatter agreed.
"Very, very rude indeed....." a mouse in a teapot said, wearily going back in the pot.
"Oh, I'm sorry..." Lex said, stepping back to get out and go where they wouldn't be trespassers.
"But we really enjoyed your song," Alice explained, "and we thought---"
"You enjoyed OUR song," the Hare jumped eagerly.
"Oh, what a fun girl," the Hatter smirked, "I'm so emotional, we'll never be complimented! You have to drink tea!"
"Oh, yes, it's tea, I have to drink a few cups of tea," the Hare offered, pouring them each a cup.
"I hate that stuff," Lex winced in disgust.
"That's very good," Alice grinned apologetically to the pair, "and I'm very sorry to interrupt your birthday festival."
"Birthday," the Hare took the cup back, laughing, "my dear girls, this is not a birthday feast!"
"Of course not," the Hatter explained, pouring himself a cup of tea, "this is a birthday festival."
"I'm not having a birthday," the girls asked.
"What's your birthday," Lex wondered.
"It's that easy. Now September is the 30th. No," the Hare stepped back, trying to think and scratched his head with an ear. Then he settled himself to explain to the girls, seeing as they weren't native to Wonderland. "And if...if you don't have a birthday, you have a birthday, but you...they don't know what a birthday is."
"What a ridiculous fact," the Hatter laughed wildly. Then he sprayed himself to clear his throat. "I will explain!"
The girls stood past and waited to be warned what just happened on un-birthdays and not birthdays. Alice looked very emotional to find out, and Lex looked curious as well, but anxious to get home.
"Now the statistics prove that you've reached your first birthday," the Hatter spoke up again.
"Imagine just one birthday each year," the Hare added.
"Oh, but I have a 364th birthday!"
"Exactly why we're here to cheer!"
"Then it's not my birthday either," Alice beamed, now understanding.
"My stuff as well," Lex chirped.
"That is," the Hare asked, looking emotional.
"What a small world this is," the Hatter commented.
"In that case," the Hare dashed to dance around Lex and Alice with the assistance of his friend, the Hatter. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad to have met the mad people.
Hare: A very, merry un-birthday
Alice: To us?
Hatter: To you!
The Hatter took off his hat to show a pink cake for the girls with two burning candles for both of them.
Hare: A very, merry, un-birthday
Lex: For us?
Hatter: For you
Now, blow the candles out, my darlings
And make your wishes come true
Hare and Hatter: A very, merry, un-birthday to youuuuu!
Lex and Alice looked at each other with grins, then back at the cake. Then they both took deep breaths and blew out the candles, which went away like a rocket instantly. Then the cake exploded before their eyes and looked like fireworks, and the little mouse from earlier came out with a tiny umbrella, slowly falling through the heavens.
Dormouse: Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder what you're at
Up above the world you fly
Like a tea tray in the heavens
The Hare closed the pot as the mouse flew right back to it.
"It was lovely," Alice applauded.
"And, uh...well, you said you wanted to sit down, you're looking for some information..." the Hatter said, dipping a tiny plate into tea like chips and dip, even biting into it.
Lex squirmed once she saw that, but Alice didn't seem to really notice it.
"Oh, yes, we're looking for a-----" Alice tried to explain, but the hare and hatter shot up, suddenly.
"Beautiful cup, clean cup! Move down, move down, move down," the Hatter called out, throwing cups in the air with Hare.
Lex rushed down while Alice was held to follow. They were now in a different spot and set.
"What was that," Lex looked around, strangely.
"It's a habit," the Hare warned her.
Lex rolled her eyes.
"Why don't you have a little more tea," the Hatter asked, with a three-spouted teapot.
"Well, I don't have it yet, I can't take any more....." Alice said, trying to pour herself a cup, but nothing came out of the pot she had.
"It means you can't take it very well," the Hare corrected.
"Wow, my head..." Lex moaned from the insanity in the feast, rubbing her head and looking around, "where are we and why aren't we at home?"
"Now, my darling ones, something seems to bother you all," the Hatter spoke up, patting Lex's head and looking at her and Alice, "would you like to warn us all about it?"
"Start from the beginning," the Hare added.
"Yes, yes, and stop if you're done! You see," the Hatter chuckled a little.
"Well, if I was sitting on the riverbank with Dinah, everything started," Alice began.
"Very interesting," the Hare took a sip of tea, but hit it down, dangling his tongue and shivering, "who's Dinah?"
"Well, it's a Dinah cat....." Lex explained.
"ROCKO," the mouse crawled out of the teapot once he heard that dreaded words his species knew all too well. "ROCKO," he went in a frenzy while the Hare and Hatter were trying to capture him.
Alice and Lex sat, confused. Then they were warned to get some jam. Alice took it and did so as warned, putting the jam on the mouse's nose as he had his little episode. Then he started to settle down a little and relax.
"Look at all the damage you started," the Hare frowned at Lex.
"But in reality, I wasn't thinking-----" Lex tried to explain.
"Oh, but that's the point! Don't speak if you think," the Hare scolded her.
Lex and Alice were about to speak up, until the Mad Hatter had another one of his clean cup fits. "Beautiful cup! Clean up! Move down, move down, move down!"
"But I haven't used it yet--" Alice tried to protest.
"Move down," the Mad Hatter called until she would move.
The others moved as warned and sat in another spot. This was indeed the craziest tea feast in history.
"And now, my darling ones, you were saying," the Hatter said, feeling calm now.
"Oh, that's right," Alice tried to explain, "we were sitting on the riverbank, uh...you know, who..."
"Is that so," the Hatter asked, laughing wildly.
"I mean my C-A-T," Alice spelled where they wouldn't have another mouse explosion.
"Tea," the Hatter pulled out a teapot with an eager grin.
"If you don't mind, just half a cup," the Hare said, cutting his cup in half with a knife.
The Hatter grinned, pouring a cup of tea for him. "Come, come, my loved ones, don't you care about tea?"
"Only if I'm sick and warm with marmalade," Lex responded.
"Why is that so, I like tea so much," Alice said, "but-"
"If you don't mind tea, you'll at least have a polite conversation," the Hare snapped.
"We've been trying to ask you," Lex tried to cut in, but no one would listen to her.
"I have a great idea, let's change the subject," the Hare suggested, hitting the Hatter on the head with a mallet.
The Hatter didn't look very injured, but removed his hat. "Why is a crow like a writing desk?"
"WHAT," Lex sputtered out.
"Riddles," Alice sounded confused and intrigued, "let's take a look, why are crows writing like desks?"
"Forgive me, please," the Hatter asked.
"Why is a crow like a writing desk," Alice echoed his previous question.
"What is a WHAT," the Hatter sounded shocked.
"They're fiercely frustrated," the Hare shivered behind him.
"But that's your ridiculous riddle," Alice stood up, "you said--"
"Very good," the Hatter offered as he started to back up away from the girls with the Hare.
"H-H-How about delicious tea," the Hare offered.
"Sure, how about tea," Alice snapped.
"I'm sorry, I don't have time," Lex hissed.
"It's time! It's time! Who has the time," the Hare shouts.
Suddenly, there came a familiar animal to the girls, smashing the tea festival.
"The white rabbit," the girls cried.
"Oh, I'm very slow! I'm very, very, very slow," the rabbit cried.
"Well, it's no wonder you're late," the Hatter took his watch, yanking it around his neck, "why, this watch is just two days late!"
"Two days late," the rabbit hesitantly asked.
"Of course you're late," the Hatter laughed, dipping the watch in a teapot and hitting it on a table and took off the face of the watch, "let's see," he poured salt and pulled out the gears with a fork, "this watch is complete with wheels!"
The white rabbit was having a horrible day, what with this house and now his prized watch. "Oh, my heavenly watch! Oh, my wheels! Oh, my fountain! B-B-B-B-But!"
"Butter! Of course, we need butter!"
"Butter!"
The Hare went to get some butter. He handed it to the white rabbit and he took it, giving it to the Mad Hatter.
"He's having a bad day," Lex pointed to the poor white rabbit.
"Thank you, butter, yes, that's fine," the Hatter spread some butter in the watch.
"Oh, dear! You'll put crumbs in it," the white rabbit cried.
"Oh, this is the best butter! What are you speaking about?"
"Tea," the Hare suggested to the Hatter.
"Oh, of course I never thought about tea," the Hatter was on his road to pour the tea while the Hare suggested stuff for the watch.
They went from butter, to now jam, and even two spoons of sugar. It almost got a lot worse as the Hare suggested mustard, but even he thought that was a silly idea. He thought lemon juice would be a lot better. They all watched as the watch was done, but it started to spring up and go nuts in front of them due to what had been put inside of it.
"Look at this," the Hatter exclaimed.
"It's crazy," the Hare shouts.
"Oh, my heavens," Alice sounded shocked.
"This is sick," Lex commented.
"Oh, dear," the white rabbit said.
"Mad watch! Mad watch," the Hare called as the watch continued to go berserk. "There's only one fashion to stop a crazy clock," he hit it with a mallet, shattering it into pieces.
"Two days late, that's it," the Hatter said.
"Oh, my watch..." the white rabbit sniffled.
Lex hugged him close, patting his back.
"It was," the Hatter asked the rabbit.
"And that wasn't a birthday present..." the white rabbit wept into Lex's shirt.
"In that case," the Hare yanked the white rabbit away from Lex.
Then the Hare and Hatter caught the white rabbit by the hands singing the song to him and throwing him out of their garden.
"Mr. Rabbit! Hang on, Mr. Rabbit," Alice dashed off to catch up with him, "we're coming, Lex!"
Lex looked at the tea feast yet going on. Then she shuddered and left with Alice to look for the white rabbit. It would be a lot better than being with these two chuckle heads.
"Well, where did he get to," Alice asked herself.
"Everywhere else," Lex said, helping her look.
Alice turned back to the hare and hatter. "Of all the ridiculous nonsense, this is the foolish tea festival I've ever been to."
Lex and Alice kept walking.
"Hey, I understand that riddle," Lex spoke up.
"Oh, Lex, not now," Alice warned her.
Lex shrugged and kept following as they came into the woods.
The girls eventually decided they chased enough wild gooses for one day. They were going home for sure this time. Straight home and no turning back. Only, they didn't know where home was or where they were going. Alice had enough of the white rabbit as well.
"Tulgey Wood," the girls saw a sign.
"I don't remember," Alice spoke up.
Lex nodded in agreement. "Perhaps there's a shortcut to home."
The girls looked around and saw a pair of eyes watching them. The eyes came out to show a pair of eye-glasses with a pair of bird legs. The creature saw Lex already had glasses, where it jumped to Alice. The girls tried to wave them away, they had enough nonsense to went off to find another fashions away from the strange world they entered.
The girls kept walking, leaving the mirror bird and the eye-glasses bird aside. Alice incidentally stepped on something that honked pitifully.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Lex called as she looked down to see a duck that also looked like a horn.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Alice backed away.
The mother honking duck honked at them and left with her babies to the pond. Then the girls stumbled across instrumental frogs. One looked like a drum and the other was a cymbal.
Lex wheezed and clamped her hands over her ears, leaving with Alice.
"If we go home, we should write a book about this place," Alice spoke up as the frogs left, "if w-we can go home..."
The girls walked to a waterfall. They were indeed lost. There were umbrella birds splashing about, which splished against them. The birds noticed them and flew out, frowning at them. Lex looked terrified, seeing as they resembled vultures. Then the girls decided to get away. Where were they going any matter?
"Oh, dear, it's getting dark soon," Alice said as they were deeper in the woods, sounding mournful, "and it doesn't seem to be familiar..."
"Calm down, we'll find something," Lex said as they continued to walk.
Then the girls stumbled to a bird with a shovel for a face, digging around. They were really lost now. They bumped into a cat, a different one, far different than the Cheshire cat with a birdcage for a stomach, holding two birds hostage as they escaped and chirped off. An owl with an accordion neck flew about the human, normal girls.
"If there's any change that makes sense, that would be great," Alice lamented.
Lex looked around. She had heard a strange tapping noise. She turned to see hammer-faced birds tapping a sign in with some other birds with pencil beaks wrote on the sign. "Don't step on the funeral? Alice, what's a funeral," Lex turned to the blonde girl.
"Mother's Day," Alice wondered as well and saw some fuzzy critters walking about and making an arrow point in a direction, "oh, one fashion! Lex, we're going home!"
Lex saw the path as well and followed Alice down the path.
"Oh, thank heavens," Alice was more emotional about this than Lex was, "why, I know we'll find one sooner or later. Oh, if we come back soon, we might go home for tea in time! Oh, Dinah is glad to see us! Oh, I can't wait---"
The girls stopped to see a dog with a broom mouth brushing off the path. What perfect timing that was, I'm being sarcastic. The dog came to the girls, swept around them and kept sweeping off, not acknowledging them or caring for them.
"Oh, dear, now we will never leave," Alice sniffled, tears stinging her eyes.
"Aw, Alice, ne pas pleure," Lex frowned.
It's too late since Alice was starting to weep as she sat down on a rock, looking like a poor, unfortunate soul.
"What have we learned today," Lex asked, sitting next to her. She had sympathy for Alice, but wasn't as emotional about this as Alice was.
"Well, if someone gets lost, I-I think this is a good suggestion. Stay past your side until someone finds you," Alice sniffled, reflecting on the adventure they had in this world called Wonderland, "b-but, who would have thought of looking for us here? Good suggestion..." she sniffled, blowing her nose, "oh, Lex, if I had listened to you earlier, we wouldn't be here! But it's just my damage, you and I both give yourself good advice."
As the girls were in a wreck, several of the woodland creatures they ran into gathered around them in sympathy.
Alice: But I find seldom follow it
That explains the damage that I'm always in
Be patient is very good advice
But the waiting room makes me curious
And I'd love the change
Should something strange begin
Well, we went a long, my merry road
And I never stopped to reason
I should have known there'd be a price to pay
Some day
Some day
I give myself very good advice
But I very seldom to follow it?
Will I ever learn to do the facts I should?
Alice broke down in tears with the other animals weeping as well. Lex pulled her cap over her head, burying her hands in her face, as she was silently weeping as well. Suddenly, the other animals started to fade off with their tears for Alice and Lex. A half moon appeared, but some singing revealed that it wasn't a moon.
Lex looked up. "Oh, Cheshire Cat!"
"It's you," Alice added, drying her eyes.
"Who do you expect," the cat asked, "the white rabbit, maybe?"
"Oh, dear, oh, dear, w-w-we have experienced rabbits," Alice replied, "we want to go home, but we can't find the road."
"Naturally! That's because you have no fashion to go. All the roads you see here are the queen's roads, or the QUEEN'S ROAD," the cat warned them.
"What Queen," Lex asked, "we've never seen any Queen."
"Don't you," the cat asked them, "but you must! She'll be frustrated for you! Just frustrated," he burst out laughing, almost disappearing.
"Please, wait," Alice stopped him, "how did we find her?"
"Well, some go this fashion, some go that fashion, but as for myself, I prefer the dry look," the cat warned them, pulling a branch down to show an entrance to the kingdom, outside the forest.
"Oh," Alice beamed, looking through it.
"C'mon, perhaps the queen knows how we get home," Lex said.
Then the girls walked through the tree door, entering a kingdom with servants working.
The girls went to the shortcut that the Cheshire cat recommended to them and walked about. They heard some singing in a maze. They came to take a closer look and a splash of red liquid dropped in front of them.
Lex bent down as Alice flinched at the liquid. Lex spun her finger around it and took a taste. "It's paint."
Alice winced again and helped Lex up as they jumped to see what was going on from in front of them. They jumped up and down to see what was going on on the other side. It looked like there were card people painting white roses on shrubs and bushes red.
They even sang about it. Alice and Lex were once again curious and decided that this would be safe to see what was going on where they wouldn't get in a lot of damage with their curiosity again. The card people went to the next bush to paint and Alice saw this as a good chance to see what was going on for sure.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Version #3, why should I paint the roses red," Alice asked.
"What," the three stepped back, but understood her question, "oh! Well, actually, we incidentally planted a white rose. And-"
Cards: The Queen, she likes them red
If she saw white instead
Two: She'd raise a fuss
Ace: And each of us
Three: Will swiftly lose his head!
"Heavens," Alice caught her own neck.
"Cool," Lex mumbled with a smirk.
Cards: Since this is what we dread
We're painting the roses red!
"Oh, dear, then I'll help," Alice picked up a brush to help them paint the roses red before the queen would arrive.
Lex followed, with the paint can. "It seems like blood is terrified."
"Paint the roses red," Alice chimed.
Cards: We're painting the roses red
Don't warn the Queen
What you have seen or say that's what we said
But we're painting the roses red!
Alice: Yes, painting the roses red!
Two: Not pink
Ace: Not green
Alice: Not aquamarine
All: We're painting the roses red!
Suddenly, there was a trumpet sound. The cards stopped painting and card soldiers were running through the maze.
"The Queen! Snow White," the cards sounded panicked.
"The Queen," Lex and Alice sounded intrigued.
The cards tried to hide off the paint cans and brushes, falling to the ground to bow respectfully. Lex and Alice came to them and did what they did so. Lex and Alice took peeks as the cards formed in all decks and organized in a traditional dance for the queen. The white rabbit came in different clothes and sounded a trumpet.
"The white rabbit," Alice whispered softly.
"This is what he did all day long," Lex asked.
"I think so," Alice said.
The rabbit eventually came and shivered from all that running. "H-H-Her royal majesty, her grace, her excellence, her royal dignity, the Queen of Hearts!"
Everyone cheered as the Queen came out, looking pleased with everyone in her kingdom. Cherry didn't like her already.
A tiny voice cleared his throat, making the white rabbit glance at him. "And the King..."
The King took off his crown, grinning politely at all around him.
The Queen looked about the garden, but frowned at something off. She saw a bush with red paint dripping off it. She stomped over to it and put her finger around it, to see it had been painted and not planted red like she wanted. She even pulled the bush out of the ground from frustration and frowned at the card painters.
Queen: Who's been painting my roses red?
Who's been painting my roses red?!
Who dares to taint
With vulgar paint
The royal flower bed?
For painting my roses red
Someone will lose his head!
"Oh, dear, majesty, please," Three cried, "please, it's all HIS fault!"
"I'm not your grace," Version #2 cried in defense, "we need a run, we need a run!"
"You," the Queen glanced at him.
Lex didn't really like the Queen, even if she had only known about the woman for a few moments. The Queen had en evil smirk, bearing no sympathy for the servants and what became of them. She eventually roared at them as they bickered over whose fault it was.
"SILENCE! AWAY WITH THEIR HEADS!!"
The card artists were taken off to be beheaded. Lex flinched, shuddering. Alice looked a little afraid from that, but was a little more calm at the moment.
"SILENCE," the Queen roared at the chorus, making them all fall.
"Oh, stop, please," Alice spoke up to defend her new friends, exposing herself and Lex, "they just--"
"And who is this," the Queen turned to see them.
The King went to look at the girls, closely. "Uh...well, um...now, uh...you see, my darling...they're certainly not hearts. Do you think it's a children's club?"
"Why, how many girls were there," the Queen cooed gently.
"I am not a man," Lex scoffed.
"Yes, we..." Alice stood up, twiddling her fingers, which the Queen didn't approve of.
"Put up and speak well and don't turn your finger," the Queen snapped at them, making them both do her instructions, "curtsy, open your mouth a little wider and always say, 'yes, your Majesty'!"
The girls did so as warned, even how over the top the Queen warned them to do it. "Yes, your Majesty!"
The Queen grinned at them. "Now, where are you two from and where are you going?"
"Well, um...we were trying to find our road home," Alice responded.
"YOUR FASHION," the Queen got in their faces, turning as red as her outfit, "EVERY ROAD IS MY FASHION!!"
Lex didn't seem to be afraid, she had spent an entire winter season with a Beast in a castle.
"Yes, I know, but I was just thinking....." Alice tried to explain.
"While thinking you're a curtsy," the Queen warned them gently, "it saves time."
"Yes, your Majesty," Alice stated, "but we tried to ask....."
"I'LL ask you! Do you both play croquettes," the Queen asked both girls.
"No, I'm not good at it. I do outdoor sports," Lex replied.
"Why, you Majesty, yes," Alice added.
"THEN LET'S START THE GAME," the Queen declared for all to hear, challenging Alice to croquet while Lex would sit and watch.
The players went in position while Lex sat next to the King. They would be watching the croquet match between Alice and the Queen. Who would win? The Queen also gave orders as Lex saw yet more bizarre customs of Wonderland. Instead of mallets, they would be hitting with flamingos and instead of balls, they would hit hedgehogs.
The Queen rolled up her sleeves and chose her flamingo and the white rabbit placed down her hedgehog, ready to play the game. She found herself getting distracted as Alice was pulling hers out, with complications of the birds trying to fly off out of her reach and grasp.
"SILENCE," the Queen roared.
Alice fell down on the ground, gripping one flamingo by the neck as the other flew off successfully. The flamingo looked rather foolish and incompetent to play the game, but Alice had to go through with it anyhow.
The Queen was ready now. She swung very swiftly, missing the hedgehog. The King went and urged the hedgehog to go any matter and roll to go through the cards, making rings where the Queen wouldn't lose the game and her fiery temper. The hedgehog made it through all the rings and the crowd, except for Lex, cheered for her.
Lex mumbled something rather vulgar about the queen, but luckily, no one else heard it.
The Queen went for her next turn, doing the same as earlier. Only this time, a card couldn't make the hedgehog in time and skid on the ground. Everyone looked in suspense and shock, and the card missed the rodent.
"OFF FROM HIS HEAD," the Queen roared, now that her turn was over.
"Get off his head, get off his head," the King warned the guards, taking the card off to behead him, "on the king's orders! You heard what she said!"
"You're next," the Queen warned Alice.
"Oh, but," Alice panicked, thinking she meant the Queen wanted to behead her next.
"My darling," the Queen grinned friendly.
Then Alice understood that it was her turn to play. The Queen went to sit down as Alice had her turn. Alice held the flamingo up to hit the hedgehog, but the flamingo went limp, laughing at her. The Queen chuckled in amusement with this. Lex chuckled a little, but wasn't as impressed as the others. Alice tried to make it stop and hit again, but the bird kept making jokes with her, even kicking her stomach and making her laugh.
"Oh, of all the impossible," the Queen growled to herself.
"Do you want us BOTH to lose our heads," Alice scolded the pink goofball.
"Uh-huh," the flamingo nodded, chuckling.
"Well, I don't," Alice hissed, trying to settle the flamingo. She kept having problems with it and wrestled it all about.
The crowd kept laughing at her misfortune, but settled down and cheered once something else happened. The Queen looked emotional and saw that the flamingo was going to use her as a mallet instead. Alice was not really amused with this and gestured for the flamingo to come to her, grinning innocently.
The flamingo looked at her, but he was gripped by his neck and the two got in place. Then Alice struck the hedgehog, making the poor rodent squeak and roll around the garden, missing the card rings and hitting a bush, making a red rose fall on its head and the crowd laughed again.
The Queen felt very victorious and walked to have her turn while Alice was very frustrated. Lex came to support Alice until the two heard a familiar humming and a cat appeared on the Queen's behind.
"I say how are you, girls," the Cheshire cat asked them.
"Not at all," Alice turned, folding her arms.
"I'm sorry," the cat asked.
"WHO ARE YOU SPEAKING TO," the Queen turned, hearing the volume.
"Oh, umm...a cat, your majesty," Alice stammered hesitantly.
"Cat? Where," the Queen looked around for the mysterious cat, using his powers to take advantage for the girls' innocence.
"There," Alice turned to point out the cat, "there he is again!"
"I warn you kids," the Queen came to the girls with a sickly smirk, then a terrifying frown, "IF I LOSE MY TEMPER, YOU LOSE YOUR HEADS!! UNDERSTAND?" she went back to have her turn on the game.
"You know," the cat appeared again, "we could make her frustrated. Shall we try it?"
The girls tried to stop him, but the cat went to make the queen frustrated and get rid of the girls forever. The cat placed the flamingo's beak on the queen's dress, which made the Queen, trip, slip and land on the ground with her body overturned in front of everyone, shocking and terrifying them. The girls looked doomed.
"Oh, dear, save the Queen," the King cried out in grief, rushing with the others to protect the Queen.
"Two someone's heads will roll for this," the Queen fumed, but came, hitting them all down and headed for the girls, "YOURS!! Off with their---"
"But-but consider, my darling," the King tugged on her dress, making her silence down, "couldn't we have a trial first?"
"Trial," the Queen glanced at her tiny husband.
"Now...just a little trial......what?"
The Queen thought about it for a moment. Then she grinned and patted his head. "Very well, then...let the trial begin!"
The cards all sorted together and splashed in front of everyone as they entered the court room.
Since Alice was mostly the one on trial, Lex was in the jury while Alice was in the judge's booth while guards stood next to her, looking very frustrated with her. The white rabbit rushed into the room. He was blowing a trumpet to alert everyone of the trumpet.
"Your Majesty," the rabbit introduced everyone as the trial was about to begin, "members of the jury, faithful subjects....and the King..."
The King looked at everyone, grinning and tipping his crown.
"The prisoner at the bar is accused of luring her majesty," the rabbit read from a scroll, "the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet and thus deliberately and premeditatedly teasing, torturing and otherwise annoying Jose Carioca."
"Don't care about all that," the Queen barked, but smirked delightfully, "get to the part where I lose myself."
The white rabbit skipped everything else written on the scroll. "Thus the Queen loses her temper."
"Now," the Queen chuckled, eyeing Alice, "are you ready for your sentence?"
"The sentence? But there must be a judgment first," Alice cried.
"The phrase first," the Queen hit the table, "judgment afterwards!"
"But that's just not the fashion!"
"ALL FASHIONS ARE---"
"Y-Your fashions, your Majesty...."
"Yes, my child. OFF WITH HER---"
"Consider my love," the King interrupted, even if it wasn't a wise choice with everyone else to do such a fact with the Queen, "uh, we didn't call witnesses......perhaps one or two? Perhaps?"
"Oh, well, BUT GET INTO IT!!"
"First witness, first witness! We call the first witness!"
"The March Hare," the white rabbit called.
Two guards carried in the hare by his ears, letting him sit as he sipped another cup of tea.
"Oh, dear, not again..." Lex sunk in her seat.
"What have you done about this unfortunate fact," the King asked.
"Nothing," the Hare said calmly.
"Nothing however," the Queen shouts at him.
"Nothing, however," the Hare yelled back at her.
"THIS IS VERY DESIRABLE," the Queen hit her husband off his concession stand, "jury, write it down!"
The members of the jury frantically wrote that down on the chalkboards. Lex pretended she did so, but she sketched a random picture of the March Hare and chuckled.
"Un-reluctant, Your Majesty means of course..." Alice spoke up.
"SILENCE," the Queen yelled in her face, blowing her back a little, "the next witness!"
"The Dormouse," the white rabbit called.
Two card guards came in with a teapot and placed it in front of the Queen.
"WELL," the Queen took the pot to yell at the mouse witness.
The guards silenced her to be very silent and delicate with him.
"What do you have to say about this," the Queen asked silently as if that were even possible.
The mouse sang his song he sang during the fireworks explosion earlier, but went back to sleep.
"It's the most reluctant evidence we've ever heard," the Queen whispered, but raised her voice again, "WRITE IT DOWN!!"
"Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle..." the jury muttered, writing that down.
"Twinkle, twinkle," Alice rolled her eyes, "what's next?"
"The Mad Hatter," the white rabbit called.
"You asked," Lex scoffed to the blonde girl.
The guards brought in the Hatter as he drank tea and they poked his butt, to make him stand before the Queen.
"Off your hat," the Queen shouts at him.
"Oh, my," the Hatter laughed, pulling off his hat.
"And where were you if this terrified crime was committed," the King asked him.
"I was at home drinking tea, today you know, it's my birthday," the Hatter said, drinking some of his favorite refreshment.
"Why, darling," the King lit up, "today is also your birthday!"
"That is," the Queen sounded shocked.
"That is," the Hatter and Hare asked.
"THAT IS," the entire courtroom asked.
Lex and Alice moaned as everyone wished the Queen a very, merry, un-birthday. Of course, like all un-birthday traditions, the Queen was given a cake with a powerful explosion. She blew the candles out and was given a present. She unwrapped it to see a new crown with pearls on it. Lex and Alice sat past, bored, but saw the crown changed. It transformed into the Cheshire cat.
"Oh, your majesty," Alice beamed.
"Oh, yes, my darlings," the Queen asked, feeling delighted.
"Look, there he is now," Alice pointed.
"He? Who? Where," the Queen looked around.
"The Cheshire Cat," the girls warned her.
"SCAMPEEEEEEERRR," the Queen saw her crown was disappearing with the cat before her very eyes.
"Unh! SNOWFLAAAAAAAKKKE," the mouse panicked like he did before.
The Hare and Hatter tried to chase him and catch him. They threw a cloth over the Queen and splashed jam, incidentally on the queen. Alice took the jam and the Hare bashed a mallet on the Queen's head by incident.
"SOMEONE'S HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL FOR THIS," the Queen yelled, upset. Then she came into view and saw Alice had a jar of jam and Lex had a mallet. Both girls threw them aside and put their hands in their pockets. "AHA!!"
Suddenly, both girls remembered something. "The mushrooms," they took their hands out of their pockets and ate the food they collected from the caterpillar earlier.
"OFF WITH THEIR---" the Queen yelled, but looked afraid as the girls grew in massive size.
Alice and Lex flinched a little as their heads hit the ceiling. They looked down and saw the guards trying to fight them and throwing weapons at them.
"Oh, Pooh, I'm not afraid of you," Alice said, picking a few guards up like regular cards, "why, you're nothing more than a deck of cards," before throwing them down.
"'Rule 42; all persons over a mile tall must leave the court immediately'," the King read, scolding the girls.
"We're not a mile high and we're not leaving," Lex snarled at him.
"I'm sorry, Rule 42, you know," the Queen laughed hesitantly.
"And about you," Alice got in her face.
The Queen panicked and used her tiny husband as a shield.
"Your MAJESTY," Alice scoffed, not knowing that she and Lex were going back to their original sizes.
"What? Why now," Lex moaned while Alice kept ranting to the Queen.
"Why, you're not a queen! You're a fat, brilliant, vicious, old tyrant..." Alice saw that they were small again.
The Queen grinned evilly as she saw the girls were vulnerable again. "What were you saying, my darlings?"
"Well, they simply said that you're a fat, brilliant, vicious, old tyrant," the cat laughed, disappearing.
"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS," the Queen shouts.
"You've heard what Her Majesty said," the King called into his crown as he was trampled by guards, "off with their heads!"
The girls kept running for their dear lives. As they ran, they saw familiar spots of Wonderland that they ran into before. There was even the Dodo bird with the cactus chase going on. The Queen and King seemed to have been in it, and the girls kept fleeing.
"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS," the Queen called.
The girls kept running as the rocks they jumped over turned into teapots.
"Wait a moment," the Hatter caught hold of them, "you can't leave a tea feast without a cup of tea, you know!"
"But we can't stop now," Alice cried.
"She's following us," Lex added.
"Oh, but we exist you have to join us for a cup of tea," the Hare declined to them disagreeing.
Lex and Alice landed into a giant cup of tea and swam in it. They came out seeing that the tea turned into water. What kind of adventure was this? The Queen was riding past them, getting closer and closer.
"Mr. Caterpillar, what have we done," Alice asked, as she saw the insect smoking on his mushroom.
He turned to them, not seeming to enjoy their company. "Who are you," he blew smoke into their faces.
Both girls coughed, and they were running through a tunnel now. They came to the doorknob to open it and escape from everyone chasing them. It seemed like the entire world was against them. Even the Walrus and the Carpenter came for them.
"OWW!! Yet locked, you know," the doorknob warned them.
"But the Queen, we just have to get out," Alice cried.
"Oh, but you two ARE out," the doorknob warned them.
"What," Alice looked at him.
"What're you speaking about," Lex added.
"See for yourself," the doorknob opened his mouth wide.
The girls looked into and saw themselves out in the riverbank, asleep under a tree. Alice had Dinah in her lap while Lex slept on her stomach using her arms as a pillow.
"Why, we are! We're asleep," Alice cried.
"Don't let them get away! Off with their heads," the Queen called.
"Alice, wake up! Please, wait! Wake up, Alice," Lex suddenly said, frantically like that would get them out of Wonderland.
"Alice! Lex," a distant voice called, "Alice, Lex, Alice and Lex," the voice revealed to be Lorina in the real world, "do you kindly pay attention, Alice, and recite your lessons?"
"What," Alice awakened as Lex did the same, "how a little crocodile heals its brilliant tail and falls--"
"Alice, what are you speaking about," Lorina asked.
"Oh, I'm sorry, you see, the caterpillar said------"
"Caterpillar? Oh, for heaven's sake. Alice, I-- Oh, well," Lorina led the road away from the garden, "c'mon, it's time for tea."
Alice stood up and held Dinah in her hands. "Oh, Lex, we're back."
"Back," Lex asked, putting on her baseball cap, "did we go someplace?"
"Don't you remember?"
"Remember? We fell asleep, didn't we?"
"Well, yes, but we saw the white rabbit!"
"Oh, Alice, sounds like you had a big dream. We'll speak about it later, alright? I'm hungry."
"But it wasn't a dream, it was all real! I warn you all if we get inside."
"Oh, Alice..."
The girls went inside for tea after the long adventure they had together. Even if it was just a crazy dream. Or was this? Alice knew that she would remember this dream for a long, long time, even if Lex didn't seem to remember it.
Executive ProducersDENNIS DESHAZERSHERYL STAMPS LEACH
Senior ProducerJIM ROWLEY
ProducersJEFF GITTLEMARTHA DATEMA LIPSCOMB
DirectorBRUCE DECK
WriterMITCH LOBROVICH
Production DesignerJESS NELSON
Musical DirectorBOB SINGLETON
Lyricist/ComposerSTEPHEN BATES
Educational SpecialistsMARY ANN DUDKO, Ph.D.MARGIE LARSEN, M.Ed.
Performance DirectorPENNY WILSON
Cast:Voice of Barney... BOB WESTBarney's Body Costume... DAVID JOYNERVoice of Baby Bop... JULIE JOHNSONBaby Bop's Body Costume... JEFF AYERSVoice of B.J. ... PATTY WIRTZB.J.'s Body Costume... PATTY WIRTZ
Cast:Shawn... JOHN DAVID BENNETT, IITosha... HOPE CERVANTESStella the Storyteller...PHYLLIS CICEROJason... KURT DYKHUIZENKathy... LAUREN KING
Cast:Juan... MICHAEL KROSTCarlos... COREY LOPEZMin... PIA MANALOJulie... SUSANNAH WETZEL
Associate DirectorERIC NORBERG
Stage ManagerTERRIE DAVIS MANNING
Lighting DesignerSTEVEN BRILL
EditorMCKEE SMITH
Audio DirectorDAVID M. BOOTHE
Art DirectorELIZABETH SAGAN VELTEN
Wardrobe Supervisor/DesignerLISA O. ALBERTSON
Technical Operations SupervisorRANDY BREEDLOVE
Video EngineerBINK WILLIAMS
Camera OperatorsLARRY ALLEN OZ COLEMANTOM COX BRUCE HARMON
Production AudioRONALD G. BALENTINE
Boom OperatorsJAMES JOHNSONDAVID SMITH
Lighting DirectorCASEY COOK
Key GripBUZ CANNON
Lighting Board OperatorTODD DAVIS
Grip/ElectricJAMES EDWARDS
Construction SupervisorCHARLES BAILEY
Craft Shop SupervisorRAY HENRY
Art/Craft CoordinatorAMY ATHERTON
Set DresserAGGIE DAVIS-BROOKS
DraftspersonCHRISTOPHER MCCRAY
Craft/Prop ArtistMARK BROGAN
Props/Special EffectsDAVID COBB
CarpentersTY M. BURNSDANNY SMITH
Scenic PainterE. (BILL) SLETTE
Swing CrewCARMELLO GONZALES
Costume Shop ManagerGEORGIA FORD WAGENHURST
Costume TechnicianD.J. SEGLER
Costume SewingNATALIE SERGI-SAARISUSIE THENNES
Make-Up DesignerJEANIE L. D'IORIO
Hair StylistDEBRA HERTEL HAEFLING
Costume/Wardrobe AssistantsBRIAN N. BLEVINSJANET BUSH CHRISTINE STOLP
Field ProducerSANDY JANTZEN
Post VideotapeDUDLEY ASAFF
Post Production AudioDENICE CROWELLCRAIG CHASTAIN
Production Office ManagerSUE SHINN
Script SupervisorCATHERINE REYNOLDS
Production CoordinatorsJULIE HUTCHINGSKELLY MAHER
Production AccountantDEBBIE COTTLE
Production SecretaryAUSTIN GRAY
Asst. to Performance DirectorDAVID VOSS
Production AssistantJOEL ZOCH
Barney Music DepartmentJILL HANCE CHARLES KINGJONATHAN SMITH ETHEL WADSWORTH
For Singleton Productions, Inc.KEITH DAVENPORT LARRY HARONMIKE PIETZSCH
Educational Research StaffPATSY J. ROEBLES GOODWIN, M.Ed.KIMBERLY THORNTON, M.Ed.JOY STARR
Children's TeacherSANDRA GILPIN
Children's SupervisorMARY EVANS
Barney and the Backyard Gang™ and Barney & Friends®were originally developed by Sheryl Leach,Kathy Parker and Dennis DeShazer.
Vocal Performances Enhanced with Help fromSingleton Productions, Inc.
"I Love You" • Lyrics by Lee Bernstein (BMI)
Special Thanks toTom Rennen of Intelligent Light Digital ImagingMatthew S. Carlton
Original Barney, Baby Bop and B.J.Costumes byIRENE COREY DESIGNASSOCIATES
Produced byTHE LYONS GROUP ANDCONNECTICUT PUBLIC TELEVISION
For Connecticut Public TelevisionExecutives in ChargeLARRY RIFKINSHARON BLAIR
Executive in ChargeRICHARD C. LEACH
BARNEY & FRIENDS • Four Seasons DayCopyright 1951 • Lyons Partnership, L.P.