Celebrity Overdoses (Cory Monteith)

Last week, I resurrected my "Bad Head" segment to mixed reviews. And mixed in with the useless comments about how it's "not your best" and "stick to musical autopsies", that is by the way the voice I read these comments in, many people were apparently genuinely upset about a couple of jokes I made about dead "Glee" cast member Cory Monteith.
**flashback**
From Billboard.com, "Cory Monteith's Death Shocks 'Glee' Family". What?! Taking too much heroin can kill you?! I'm so shocked! I'll just stick to cocaine instead.
In a similar story from the New York Times, "Fox Says 'Glee' Season Delayed by Monteith Death". I imagine they'll have to take out that scene where he was tying off in the school bathroom before the big sing-off. It's probably in poor taste now.
**flashback ends**
So...to those of you who were upset by that, I'dike to take a moment and do something I said I'd never do about one of my jokes...apologize. So, here it goes. Sorry that you're a bunch of pussies who are sad a junkie died. Fuck Cory Monteith, and once again fuck your feelings! Why do you even care? Did you know him? "Well we feel like we did! We watched him on TV every week." So the answer to that question is no, you didn't You knew a fictional character that he played on a television show. You knew him just as well as you know a character in a book. 
"Yeah, but It's a tragedy!" Wait, it's a tragedy?? Sandy Hook was a tragedy. The Colorado Theater Massacre? That was a tragedy! Some fucking idiot jamming too much heroin into his veins and dying isn't a tragedy, that's a fucking inevitability. In fact, only about two years ago from the time of writing this, Amy Winehouse died a day after after an island full of kids in Norway got shot up by some fucking psycho, and the news covered Amy Winehouse's death as if the Pope raped the Queen. I recently released an unfinished, unproduced script for that video, and a lot of it applies here. Amy Winehouse drank herself to death, died of alcohol poisoning. Who fucking cares? Toss her in the fucking ground and let her family grieve. The public should not give a fuck. Those kids dying? That's a tragedy. They never brought that on themselves. They were mostly teenagers enjoying a summer camp. I'm sure the brochure never said, "may be gunned down by some sick fuck." They probably figured the worst that was gonna happen was a goddamn bee sting or a sunburn. But if you abuse alcohol or drugs, you know the risks. How can you not? It has to be impossible in this period of time to not know that those things can kill you. And if you didn't know, I'm fucking telling you right now they can kill you.
"People make mistakes!" Yeah, I remember that time I accidentally fell on a heroin needle for several years. Oh right, no, that didn't fucking happen to me! That doesn't happen to anyone. Using drugs isn't a mistake, it's a choice you make over and over.
"Well, Buckley, whatever! It's still a tragedy when ANYONE dies!" Well, then you must be the most morose motherfucker on the planet. How do you have time to do anything when you're mourning every single death? It's estimated that somewhere between 150,000 and 200,000 people die everyday. So...you're tweeting about all their deaths too, just like I'm sure you tweeted or Facebooked about Cory Monteith's death, right? Let me ask you. How many tweets did Johnny Junkie down the street from you get when he died from his drug overdose? How many of you are mourning him today?
"Well, fuck you! Cory was a role model to me and I'm sad that he died!" Here's some hard truth. Your fucking role model was a junkie piece of shit! And if you really feel this way, I need you to do something for me. Go find your parents, wherever they are, and fucking slap them for being shitty human beings that never taught you that celebrities are not role models just because they're famous. They're just people! And there's shitty people and there's good people. You know who are good role models? Your parents. If they suck, if they do drugs or molest kids or something, how about an older sibling or even a younger one who does good shit? Or maybe a teacher or a coach? People that are IN your life! Not some fuck that you see on TV or hear on the Internet. I hope no one fucking thinks I'm their role model. I'm just some asshole who talks shit on the Internet. If someone is your professional inspiration for what you'd like to do, that's one thing. But don't mistake that for who they are as a person. Role models should be good people who are actually in your life. Cory Monteith was likely not in your life. You weren't his friend, you never hung out with him. And if you WERE his friend, you should've told him told him to stop doing heroin 'cause now your friend's dead.
"But you should show some respect to his family!" Why? Cory didn't. He jammed shit into his arms until he died, abandoning them and disgracing their name in the process. He fucking wasted the life his parents gave him. You know when you get a nice present from someone and you throw it out or you lose it like a fuck who doesn't take care of their shit? That's what he did with the gift of life that his parents gave him!
"Well...I liked Cory Monteith!" So what would happen if that was Nicki Minaj OD'ing and I made a joke about HER death? Is that funnier because you don't like her but you liked Cory Monteith? If so, you're a fucking hypocrite! A junkie is a junkie. They deserve no sympathy whether they were famous or not. No one forced them to do anything. You make your own choices in life, and you either live with them or you die from them.