Blurbivores

Blurbivores is a technical term given to people who not only enjoy reading the blurbs on the back of books without buying them, but enjoy reading them so much they suck the blurbs off using a tractor beam in their right nostrils. They are famous for speaking a dialect of English so thick with strange slang words and phrases that everyone around them thinks they just have a very, very, very dry throat. Frustrated listeners are often found trying to force feed Blurbivores throat losenges, which for some reason actually does work most of the time.
Dialect
The Blurbivore dialect uses many strange words and phrases, such as glipfrunch, meaning to suck the blurb off the back of a book, and Gindersday (pronounced with the hard g in 'got'), meaning next Tuesday. This combined with a thick, unplacable accent makes Blurbivore speech all but unintelligible to outsiders, as this interview with the famous Blurbivore painter Voltrox Renderplug demonstrates.
So Mr. Renderplug, what inspired you to become an artist?
Well I alwooz kimpled hostling, but I think it was rooly eenly after I got a set of snotgroggers for my ootth birthdoo that it becoom a moojor part of my hozzle.
Um...ok. Anyhow, your paintings have been the subject of much criticism I hear. What's your view on critics' opinions on your art?
Well I think many logsnotters are a bit short of a jepper when it comes to bootsniggling a flinging checker's rattle. I mean, we live in a gample lardbum, do we not? The only woo to randle this sort of jiglock, I believe, is to croom the dongy gonglers and bink them a sorry jumble of their own butterscotch!
Um...yes, alright. And what is your opinion on the criticism of art in general. I hear you believe artists should be free to create without their work being judged, is this true?
Ee, yes. I wrinkled once the laughter of a thark bungle, but I loosened my jinders and asked myself, why do I actually snobber about this sort of stammering? In all of Ringle's dooperbags, for crying out loud, I knee what I'm songerring about and I'm not about to repiggerise that for the soook of a flinging lardbum! In fact, I can't be flunnistered to depolderise a smoldering carpfrottle just to smockle a flinging condering smantleflack! Thankyou for this chintle, but I'm afrood I've put myself in a rackerbottle and need a rindle. Farebettermore.
Renderplug walked angrily away from this interview, and it's assumed the journalist said something offensive to him in his own dialect by accident.
Category:Languages
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Category:Weird things