Big Trouble in Little China/Transcript

What I'd like to do today is
get your version of what happened.
- You mean the truth?
- Of course.
First, just state your name and
your occupation for the record.
Egg Shen, bus driver.
Bus driver.
What kind of bus and where, please?
Tour bus. Bus for tourists.
San Francisco Chinatown.
Thank you.
Now, before we get to the meat of this thing,
do you at the present time
have any knowledge
of the whereabouts of
a Mr Jack Burton or his truck?
- Oh, God. Will you leave him alone?
- Mr Shen, please.
You could be in a great deal of trouble. Half
a city block explodes in a ball of green flame.
Green flame! All hell is breaking loose here.
And there are people
who say you're involved,
that you might be responsible,
that you're a very dangerous man.
- Now, if you're protecting Jack Burton...
- You leave Jack Burton alone!
We are in his debt. He showed great courage.
OK.
But if I'm gonna be your attorney,
there are a few things I have to know
that still don't make any sense to me.
Like...
do you really believe in magic?
You mean Chinese black magic?
- Yes.
- Absolutely.
Are you still serious about this? And
monsters and ghosts as well, I suppose?
Sure. And sorcery.
And I suppose that you expect me
to believe in sorcery as well?
- Of course.
- Why?
Because it's real.
How can I know that, Mr Shen?
- How?
- Yes, how? Help me out here.
Please.
See? That was nothing.
But that's how it always begins.
Very small.
This is Jack Burton at the Pork-Chop Express
and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin'.
It's like I told my last wife.
I says "Honey,
I never drive faster than I can see."
"Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."
You just listen to the Pork-Chop Express and
take his advice on a dark and stormy night.
When some wild-eyed maniac
grabs your neck,
taps the back of your head
up against a barroom wall,
he looks you crooked in the eye
and asks you if you've paid your dues,
you just stare that big sucker back in the eye
and remember what Jack Burton always says.
"Have you paid your dues, Jack?"
"Yes, sir, the cheque is in the mail."
Well, you see, I'm not sayin' that I've been
everywhere and I've done everything.
But I do know it's a pretty
amazing planet we live on here,
and a man would have to be some kinda fool
to think we're all alone in this universe.
I can't believe you're stuck on even.
This is odd!
All right, even! Another even! Come on!
You want one more? All right!
- What do we got? He can't count.
- Even!
Learn how to play some fan-tan here,
buddy-boy!
Three!
Heaven and earth, boys. What can I tell ya?
You like that one?
What did he say, Wang? In English?
Something about beginner's luck.
It doesn't translate. But he quits.
He quits? What is this? It's a brand-new day
and he's still got 100 bucks in his pocket.
I'm not gonna complain, because I'll bet
I'd have lost my shirt in the next 20 minutes.
Breaks my heart to do this,
but the next time I'm down here,
you'll gang up on Jack so fast
he won't know what the hell happened.
- No.
- Ah, sure. Easy come, easy go, Wang.
No!
Not next time. Now.
Is this gonna get ugly now? I hope not.
I thought what we were here,
racial differences aside,
was a coupla old friends,
both of us Californians.
Shit, Wang. It's only a game.
Nothin' or double.
This knife cuts this bottle in half.
- Nothin' or double.
- Bullshit.
- Nothin' or double.
- Why, man? Don't be stupid.
- I need the money.
- I got near a thousand bucks here, Wang.
OK. But not that bottle.
This bottle.
OK.
You're outta your mind, Wang. God bless ya!
- It's all in the reflexes.
- It always works at home.
Have me over for dinner some year and prove
it. In the meantime, pay up: $1,148 times two.
- I don't have that kind of money.
- I didn't hear that.
- I'm just a poor Chinese boy, you know?
- You own a restaurant. That's more than me.
Yeah, right. What I meant was,
I don't got that kind of money on me.
That's what I thought you meant.
Where's your truck?
- I gotta go somewhere.
- No, you don't.
I do. How about we meet in my restaurant
in a few hours? I pay then.
- You pay now. Where you gotta go?
- The airport.
- Yeah, right. Over my dead body.
- If need be.
- I'll follow you.
- You don't trust me? That makes me sad.
- It reminds me of an old Chinese joke.
- Save it. I'll give you a lift. Get in.
- You were gonna follow me, Jack.
- I know, then I came to my senses.
- So who are we pickin' up?
- A girl. I don't wanna talk about it.
- A girl? Where from?
- Peking.
This is a big day in my life. I should
have gone home and gotten 40 winks.
A girl from China? All right, I never done that.
I picked up girls from everywhere else,
but never from China. Is she pretty?
- I'm gonna marry her, Jack.
- Oh, God!
I've known her since we were kids.
I haven't seen her in five years.
I came here alone.
I worked my fingers till they bled.
Before you knew me, I slept on the floor.
I saved every nickel to bring her here
because I love her so much.
I can't eat, sleep or think properly without her
any more. She'll put my whole life in order.
Boy, listen to me. Real tough guy.
You sound a little nervous, pal.
That's why the bottle didn't slice. My mind
and my spirit are goin' north and south.
Flight number 26 has just arrived
at gate number seven.
Whoa. Who is that?
She has green eyes.
You know how rare that is, Jack?
- How can you tell from here?
- Not her. She's trouble. Miao Yin.
Beautiful green eyes, like creamy jade.
Trouble, huh?
- Can I ask you a serious question?
- Absolutely not.
- Would you consider jumping right into...
- Sure, but not with a man in your condition.
- What's wrong with my condition?
- Try standing downwind where I am.
- It's Miller time.
- You know what I say when it's Miller time?
Wait a minute!
- Don't!
- Don't what?
The Lords of Death. Street gang. Punks
from Chinatown. What are they doing here?
Tara!
Miao Yin!
Excuse me.
Let's you and me have a little talk, friend.
What?
Where'd you get that?
Wait a minute, pal.
Get that one!
Come on, Jack!
Where?
Call the cops!
Son of a bitch must pay!
What's goin' on, Wang?
Why'd they steal your girl?
You tell me! How come it's not safe to walk
in Central Park or to give a stranger a lift?
- Because the world's full of crazy people.
- The American girl knew something was up.
Stay away from her. She's a lawyer.
She's a what? Oh, come on!
- What the hell...?
- They got a clubhouse where they hang out.
- To sharpen their knives?
- I can't ask you to...
- Where is it?
- Thank you, Jack.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
I am Mr Egg Shen, with this wonderful tour.
Sit back and enjoy yourselves, see?
Long time ago, Chinese men with
gold-rush fever flooded into California.
We call Gum Shan - Mountain of Gold, see?
Leaving behind their wives and children.
Working for years to complete
the transcontinental railroad,
saving all their pennies.
And then they sent for their families
to help build this beautiful Chinatown
you see outside your window
this fine warm day.
- Go right, down that alley. Lords of Death!
- What alley?
Go right! Now!
- Where the hell are we?
- Come on, Jack.
Excuse me, ma'am.
I don't suppose you saw a...
No.
Keep moving.
- What is it? A parade?
- A funeral.
- A fighting tong. They're Chang Sings.
- A fighting tong?
Don't panic, Jack.
They're OK. They're good guys.
Maybe we should try a different alley.
What do you say?
Wang, these guys, these Sing Dings.
They got enemies?
- Wing Kong.
- Who wear red turbans?
Holy shit!
These guys are animals, Jack.
- What's happening, Wang?
- Chinese standoff.
A what?
Don't make a sound.
Who's that?
No questions! Just get outta here, Jack!
Jack!
- I think it was Lo Pan.
- Who?
- Don't look, Jack!
- I already did.
- Who? I mean, what?
- Lo Pan. Come on!
- I can't see!
- It's OK. It's only temporary. Over here.
Bend over.
Yeah, yeah.
I ran straight through him, Wang.
How the hell did I do that?
- You didn't. It only appeared that way.
- Right!
- Lords of Death, Jack.
- OK, I'm goin' home. Keep your money.
- Hey, Wang Chi!
- Lookin' for us?
- They know your name.
- That's not good. Let's go!
- My truck!
- Forget it!
Lords of Death controlled by the Wing Kong,
Jack. Just errand boys for the Wing Kong.
Great! Who wiped out all those
yellow turbans? Those guys were winning.
He says it was the Storms. The Three Storms.
Three guys did all that? Listen.
What about that...
whatever it was I ran straight through?
Fast!
Lucky us. We made it.
- All right, where's my truck? I'm outta here.
- Isn't your truck insured?
- Of course it is.
- Then smart man gets it later.
- Smart man calls the cops.
- Cops got better things to do than get killed.
So do I!
Mutual Fidelity Insurers of Sacramento.
Well, there's gotta be a listing, honey.
I pay 'em six G's a year in premiums.
China is here, Mr Burton.
The Chang Sing, the Wing Kong.
- They've been fighting for centuries.
- What does that mean? "China is here"?
I don't know what that means. All I know is,
this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air
in the middle of an alley, while his buddies
fly around, cuttin' everybody to shreds,
and he stands there, waiting for me
to drive my truck straight through him,
- with light comin' out of his mouth!
- Jack, please.
- When did this happen?
- It didn't, not like he says.
Yeah, it did. Two hours ago. Tall guy, weird
clothes. First you see him, then you don't.
Lo Pan appeared on the street?
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't want to alarm you, Uncle.
I'm gonna tell you about an accident
and I don't wanna hear "act of God", OK?
All right, look. What's your name?
Mine's Jack Burton.
- Good afternoon, Mr Wong.
- Eddie Lee, meet my friend, Jack Burton.
- Eddie's the new matre d' here.
- And a whole lot more.
Well, I don't know my policy number.
It's in the glove compartment.
Just look under B-U-R-T-O-N, will ya?
- Jack Burton?
- Yeah.
Boy. The guy you always told me about.
- Then that was your abandoned truck.
- Abandoned, like hell!
Hello. Hello?
Oh, Christ!
Bad news. The Lords of Death
stole it after you ran away.
- They stole my truck?
- Take it easy, Jack. You're with friends.
- We'll find it for you.
- Damn right you will.
And my money. And time is money to a guy
like me. And your phone is dead, by the way.
- How do you think I feel? I lost a whole girl!
- The Lords of Death were only on ajoyride.
Not acting on orders from the Wing Kong.
They just wanted a girl to sell
and Miao Yin got in the way.
Plus, the skirmish you guys stumbled into.
Lo Pan, the word is, ordered the boss of
the Chang Sings, Mr Lem Lee, assassinated.
- That was his funeral.
- It was a war, Eddie.
- What are you doing here?
- Don't panic. It's only me, Gracie Law.
Great.
Just passing the neighbourhood
on a dark and stormy night?
- This is my neighbourhood.
- Sure it was a war.
And anybody that showed up was gonnajoin
Lem Lee in the hell of being cut to pieces.
- Hell of being what?
- The Chinese have a lotta hells.
- And what the hell is Gracie Law doing here?
- She can't get enough of me.
He wishes. Look, you know me.
I'm always pokin' my nose where it
doesn't belong and, I admit it,
this mix-up is my fault, sort of.
But I have it on good advice that the punks
thatjumped me and took his truck,
they took the girl they kidnapped to the
White Tiger's for a quick sale. Who was she?
- My fiance. The White Tiger's?
- Oh, God. I'm sorry.
If we go tonight, we can buy her back.
A warrant's too complicated,
- violence out of the question...
- Hold it! Slow down.
- I'm feelin' like an outsider here.
- You are!
Jack, listen. I need more of your help.
I can't pay you today, OK?
- Shit.
- How can I? I need the cash for Miao Yin.
- And it's gonna cost. She's got green eyes.
- Seriously? That's an extra.
It's like leather bucket seats: double the price.
- Look, this Lo Pan I ran over... through...
- Has spirit-medium powers.
Like the immortals.
His flesh and his bones are atomised.
He becomes the dream.
- What?
- That's an exaggeration, Jack, I promise.
Please, help me.
I got a great idea.
- Relax.
- I am relaxed.
Look, this is as far as I go,
because I'm a dead giveaway, see?
I'd go in there with you, but they know
my face and they'd wanna push it in.
- Not while I'm around.
- It's all up to you now, Jack.
My destiny rests in your capable hands.
- I'll do my best.
- Make them drop their guard.
- I'll try.
- Look stupid.
He does.
Boy, it sure is rainin' cats and dogs.
The cab driver said... He told me that I could...
Well, that the White Tiger would...
Just a minute, please.
Excuse me for a second, guys.
I think I know that car.
What's she doing now?
Strange girl.
That building there. The White Tiger.
God, it's creepy. Do we have to go in?
Because I will, if we have to.
I'll go anywhere or do anything
to get my story. It's my big break.
Just sit tight. We've got one of our best men
inside right now, stirring the pot.
How do you do, ma'am? Henry Swanson's
my name and excitement's my game.
- Cash or charge?
- Gosh! Cash, I guess.
I mean, it's not deductible, is it?
Mrs O'Toole will take care of your needs.
Boy, I wish these were in colour.
Because what I really am
in the mood for is a girl with green eyes.
And price is no object, Mrs O'Toole.
Fresh off the boat's the way I like 'em.
The more exotic the better.
Chinese girls do not come with green eyes.
- Too long. Let's go in.
- It's only been ten minutes.
Give the guy a chance.
- So how long you been in the US of A?
- Three months.
- Where from?
- Hong Kong.
What happens? You stay here a while?
Old girls leave, new girls come in?
Maybe. Take your tie off, please.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
My wife gave it to me for Christmas.
Holy shit!
Green explosions? People flyin' in and out?
That was not real. I wanna talk to the cops.
I want my truck back.
Now where the hell am I?
- My office. Sit down.
- You sleep in your office?
What I need to get straight is...
These Storms, what are they? Magicians?
- Yeah, sort of. It's hard to explain.
- Try real hard.
If the Storms have Miao Yin,
there's one place they'd go.
Lo Pan. The godfather of Little China,
Mr David Lo Pan.
You mean the Lo Pan that's
chairman of the National Orient Bank
and owns the Wing Kong Trading Company,
but who's so reclusive
that no one has laid eyes on him in years?
Who the hell are you, anyway?
I'm Margo Litzenberger.
I'm with the Berkeley People's Herald.
I've been trying to get somebody from
the press to listen to me about this, Burton.
It's not possible that you saw David Lo Pan.
The bastard's afraid to show his face.
- He's got more enemies...
- He's got Miao Yin. I'm going!
- Are you nuts?
- Who's that?
It's OK, Tara. You can go back to sleep.
- From the airport.
- This morning, sure.
That's why I was there. I was protecting her
civil rights, making sure she gets a chance.
This is just so shocking. I mean,
I mustjust be so monumentally naive.
- You are.
- Now we have to grab your fiance...
Wait a minute! I'm a reasonable guy,
but I've experienced
some unreasonable things.
- It depends on how you look at it.
- The hell it does! So somebody
- tell me what is goin' on!
- The truth?
- I can take it.
- We don't know.
- I'm going now, alone if I have to!
- Where? It's pouring out.
- Lo Pan's. The Wing Kong Exchange.
- The Wing Kong Exchange?
The most dangerous den of madmen
in Chinatown? You can't waltz in like...
Like the wind. Yes, I can, Miss Law.
My mind and my spirits are as one.
- As two. I said I was comin'.
- I'd go with you...
I know. There's a problem with your face.
OK! You people sit tight,
hold the fort and keep the home fires burning.
If we're not back by dawn, call the president.
- This is gonna take crackerjack timing.
- Total concentration. You ready, Jack?
I was born ready.
I love working nights.
Don't get up. Phone company.
All right, boys, where's the main panel?
Probably through here.
Wang.
Good work, Jack.
I think they actually fell for it.
Well, last time we had this problem was
on account of squirrels chewin' the wires.
- I'd better locate the central junction box.
- I think it's down there.
What does that say?
- Hell of boiling oil.
- You're kidding!
Yeah, I am. It says "Keep out."
We've got to do something!
Goat butts against a hedge
and its horns become entangled.
- I don't think I've had the pleasure.
- Miss Gracie Law, Mr Egg Shen.
Egg's kind of our local authority on Lo Pan.
- He's helping us out.
- It has been almost two hours.
- Let's go over there, beat down the door...
- No, Miss Law.
We have to gather our strength,
because now there's clouds and thunder.
The image of difficulty at the beginning.
But finally we shall bring order out of chaos.
- Look.
- Yeah.
What you got here is two
people dragging a third.
Miao Yin!
- You did that, right?
- I guess so. I hope so.
Jack, check this out.
So what is this? Chinese or somethin'?
- Countin' backwards?
- Not backwards. Downwards.
Of course the Chinese mix everything up.
Look at what they have to work with.
There's Buddhism, Confucianism
and Taoist alchemy and sorcery.
We take what we want and leave the rest.
Just like your salad bar.
But there is one thing
even David Lo Pan must acknowledge.
All movement in the universe is caused by
tension between positive and negative furies.
- So when the furies are out of balance...
- As they are in Lo Pan, who is cursed.
Then the people
turn into demons and live for ever.
Repulsive and evil,
existing only to plague the living.
Well then, what you're saying is
this David Lo Pan... What is he? A ghost?
Plays at being a man.
A creature of vast, dark, destructive power.
All right, out this hatch and up the cable.
Does that sound like a brilliant idea or what?
The cable is three storeys high
and covered with grease.
Exactly. It's real and we can touch it,
so at least we know where we stand.
Yeah, in deep shit.
- What?
- What the hell...?
- Shit!
- See?
You think they'd let us
walk in and out like the wind?
Yes.
I thought that was your whole damn point!
My point was to find Miao Yin at any cost!
- This is salt water, Wang.
- And get your truck back!
- I'll buy another one.
- But there's only one Miao Yin!
Jesus Christ! Where are we?
Hell of the upside-down sinners!
Hey, you! Come on over here
and fight like a man!
Shit, Jack. I don't like the looks of this.
- Where are we, Wang?
- You are nowhere!
Oh, boy.
Look, we came here to see David Lo Pan,
all right?
David Lo Pan?
- Then you have succeeded, Mr Burton.
- What, you?
- I don't get this at all. I thought...
- Shut up, Mr Burton!
- You are not put upon this world to "get it".
- Come on! Lo Pan is like...
Nothing you can understand.
There are many mysteries and unanswerable
questions, even in a life as short as yours.
The way I see it, it doesn't mean
we shouldn't ask. Where's my truck?
You are not looking for a truck. You're
looking for a girl. A girl with green eyes.
- Yes.
- She must be something extraordinary.
Or I'm not about to waste another 2,000 years.
There can't be many Chinese girls
with green eyes these days.
- There are not. Never were.
- So beggars can't be choosers.
But I can!
Tell me about Miao Yin.
What province is she from? Hunan?
Her mother? Her father?
He must be a holy man. I must know.
You got a tongue, Dave. Ask her yourself.
Mr Burton, if you have an influence over
your youthful friend, you better exert it now.
Otherwise I will send both of you to
the hell where people are skinned alive.
It's that simple. Understand?
- Are you crazy? Is that your problem?
- No, he means it, Jack.
My problem is this place.
This place is my tomb. I'm buried here.
A young man, a king, a warrior,
is entombed in this old man's crippled body.
And all I need is a woman, Mr Burton,
a special kind of woman
with dragon-green eyes,
to make me whole and young again, so that I
may rule the universe from beyond the grave.
- Ch'ing-ti. The God of the East.
- Who, him? This guy?
No, not me, Mr Burton.
My demon. The god I must appease
in order to regain my heart, my blood.
A girl with green eyes to satisfy Ch'ing-ti,
a girl brave enough
to embrace the naked blade.
- When I find her, I will marry her.
- Never!
Ch'ing-ti will be happy and my curse lifted.
You can rule the universe
from beyond the grave.
- Indeed!
- Or check into a psycho ward.
Whichever comes first.
What, I'm supposed to buy this shit? 2,000
years and he can't find a broad to fit the bill?
Come on, Dave, you must be doin'
somethin' seriously wrong.
There have been others, to be sure.
There are always others, are there not?
You seem to be one who knows
the difficulties between men and women,
how seldom it works out.
And yet we all keep trying, like fools.
Who are these people? Friends of yours?
Now this really pisses me off to no end!
- Come on, stick around!
- Where's Miao Yin? In this building?
- Safe.
- Where is she?
Safe.
Safer with me than any creature on earth!
Go ahead. You want bad publicity?
Give us the run-around.
But this woman has a deadline,
and her pen is mightier than your sword.
- Yeah.
- No visitors.
- I don't make the policy around here.
- Come on, man! Give 'em a tour.
What's it gonna hurt?
I can help you.
- Are you OK, Jack?
- Yeah.
We're in a room.
No windows, a few skeletons.
- Where's the light coming from?
- The floor.
With the easing of trade restrictions,
next year we'll start importing
a lot of strange things from Peking.
What sort of strange things?
Are we going up or down?
It feels like down.
Great. Thank you, Jack.
I think we've come up. First we went down.
Now they've brought us up.
Two, three feet thick, I'll bet. Probably
welded shut and covered with brick by now.
- Don't give up, Jack.
- OK. Let's just chew our way outta here!
Lo Pan has plans for us,
or we'd be dead doornails.
Which Lo Pan? Little old basket case
on wheels, or the ten-foot-tall roadblock?
- One and the same person, Jack.
- You know something you're not tellin' me.
Myths and legends.
- I don't wanna insult you.
- No, no. Go ahead.
Insult me.
It's about all sorts of scary things:
an ancient army of the dead,
the Spirit City and monkey sacrifices.
The First Sovereign Emperor of China,
that mad monarch who federated our
seven warring states, defeated Lo Pan
and imposed upon him
that horrible curse of no flesh in 272 BC.
A lot of Chinese hear these things
when we're kids, then we grow up,
and pretend not to believe them.
- No horseshit, Wang.
- No horseshit, Jack.
I don't blame you. I'm Chinese and I don't
even wanna believe it, but it's for real.
Sorcery, the Chinese black magic.
Blindfolds!
You make one move...
Now, let's try that again.
Don't make me kill you, tough guy.
Come on, Jack!
- Come on!
- How?
- Great work, Jack.
- Yeah.
We're all in: me, Gracie and Margo. Uncle Chu
and Egg are in Egg's bus, ready to get us out.
- Right.
- Here, Jack.
I'll trade ya.
All right, which way?
Fast, before they wake up.
There, I think. Down there.
No pathetic excuses.
I smell the blood of human beings.
Find them. Boil them until their flesh falls off.
You heard me!
Empty.
I need you, Miao Yin.
You, whose eyes flash like emerald lightning.
Ch'ing-ti, make me flesh again soon.
Please.
Let's go. It's clear.
Safety!
Wang!
First time you ever plugged somebody?
- Course not.
- Come on!
You wanna go up or down?
- Up or down?
- Up.
All has become strange.
A world so unreal and yet,
at once, so frightening.
Open up or I'll blow his head off!
Open! Or he dies in the name of Ch'ing-ti
and your souls speed with his
to the hell of the oily dragon!
- You all right?
- Yeah.
- Margo!
- Jack!
- Where's Gracie?
- On the floor next door. She's a wildcat.
- How are you gonna spring us?
- I have no idea.
That way maybe.
Wang, haul ass!
Come on, keep movin'!
Margo, jump in!
- In there? Are you nuts?
- Go!
- Where's Margo?
- I don't know.
Where are we?
- Where's Eddie?
- Beats me.
Where's Jack?
Jack!
Jack?
Jack!
- Sorry, I'm just thrilled to be alive.
- Yeah, sure. Let's go.
- It's like some giant garbage disposal.
- I think it is, sort of.
Will you just stop rubbing
your body up against mine?
I can't concentrate when you do that.
What a pig you are, Burton! I mean, really!
- Where's Jack?
- It's OK. Everybody relax. I'm here.
Jack, I know where we are.
This is a central... what do you call it?
- Sewer?
- Yeah. Water comes in up there.
Seawater from the bay fills this room. They
divert it through pipes to different chambers.
I bet up there's where
we first got on that elevator.
All right, we're almost outta here.
From here on, it gets normal.
Offices, storerooms: a nice false front.
I count to three, open the door, and we go.
- Everybody got that?
- Ready?
Follow the leader. One, two, three.
We may be trapped.
Hide!
- Hide?
- Hide! They only saw me!
We fight together, Jack. Do or die.
Time to go.
The bus is right outside in the parking lot.
Here's the deal. I run interference and
you bring up the rear. Can you handle that?
Can you?
Well, what a night's work!
You got a problem like that again,
- you reach for the sky!
- Let's go!
Come on, come on.
- You're doin' real good, guys.
- Come on, Jack!
Let's go! Open the doors!
- Hurry!
- Move it, Egg!
Duck!
We made it. Holy shit, we made it!
- Where's Miao Yin?
- Inside.
Somewhere inside.
Where's Gracie?
Put me down, you overstuffed monster!
Let me go! Let me go!
What does it mean?
Two girls with green eyes?
After all these years.
You bastards! Unchain me! You're not
gonna get away with this. Where's Lo Pan?
This one has fire as well!
Listen,
I've had it up to here with you maniacs.
I wanna see that disgusting
flesh-peddler David Lo Pan in person.
Unless the coward's afraid to see
an unarmed girl one-on-one!
Where is he?
You know what this is?
This is like some radical Alice In Wonderland.
- That's what this is.
- Then you've got a best seller on your hands.
- Call the police. You're not a one-man army.
- Cops got better things to do than get killed.
Here he is, Jack.
No, these are our friends.
These are the Chang Sings.
- Any of 'em savvy English?
- Hey, man. Who is this guy?
All right. You got any guns?
Not against Lo Pan, but here's one for you
to make you feel better, like Dirty Harry.
I'll stick with these. You comin' with us, Egg?
Of course, Jack. It's my destiny. Besides,
if I don't you'll never make it out alive.
- I'm on board too then.
- Yeah, sure, kid.
- You can't keep the press out. It's America.
- You're not going back there.
You're stayin' here with Eddie and Uncle Chu.
- Eddie? But he's...
- He's got a crush on you.
- You mean like you've got on Gracie?
- Are you kidding? I just want my truck back.
What do I know?
She's not even your type. All brains.
Come on, let's go!
Play your cards right, you live to talk about it.
Oh, boy.
Are you OK? Are you Miao Yin?
Yes. Miao Yin.
- Who are you?
- Lo Pan.
You have come to seek me out
with your green eyes.
Yes.
- No, no.
- Yes.
- What's going on here? Some kind of...?
- Magic. The darkest magic.
My soul swims in it, scattered across time,
trapped in the world of formlessness.
Until I find her and marry her.
Marry her?
The girl with green eyes.
The girl who can tame the burning blade.
Miao Yin or Grace Law.
- Great start. It's the other way.
- The front door will get you nowhere.
- Here, let me hold that.
- A brave man likes to feel nature on his face.
And a wise man has enough sense
to get in out of the rain.
- He lives here?
- He owns the block. He's a rich guy.
- Rich? This place is a dump, Wang.
- To Western eyes.
The stuff in these bottles is priceless.
Well, all set?
Yeah. Ready when you are, Egg.
- Jack next.
- Where does it go?
- Down. Lo Pan is down there.
- Down where?
- Where is the universe?
- Come on, Jack. Don't be afraid.
Afraid? Are you kidding?
- Where in the hell are we?
- Underneath Chinatown.
That is not water.
Black blood of the earth.
- Do you mean oil?
- I mean black blood of the earth.
A thousand years ago, huge earthquakes
turned the world upside down.
Many normal people were killed.
Many unnatural people roam free
to commit great offences against the gods.
They have survived the burning blade,
tamed the savage heart.
I will marry both women.
Prepare them.
What is that?
- It sounds like...
- Something breathing underwater?
Yeah.
You will come out no more!
What? What'll come out no more?
Come on.
Dammit!
Miao Yin?
Hey, Wang!
- Egg!
- Jack, come on!
It's OK, Jack. Wing Kong storeroom.
Emergency provisions.
We're inside Lo Pan's domain.
Christ!
Later.
We're getting close. Real close.
And now for some more bad news. Ready?
- This gets worse? Come on!
- 2,258 years ago
the First Sovereign Emperor...
He subjugated Lo Pan, made him of no flesh.
- Only an evil dream.
- Get to the goddamn point, Egg.
In order to be whole again, he had to find
this certain girl of his prophecy,
and marry her to appease the God of the East.
But to appease the emperor,
he had to kill her.
Kill her? No!
Well, let's go. What are we talkin'
Chinese history for when we gotta get...
We are getting ready to strike the final blow.
- If we reach Lo Pan...
- When we reach Lo Pan.
...then the power in this flask
will be our only hope
against the Bodhisattva of the underworld,
the ultimate evil spirit.
Yes. Only a dream can kill a dream.
I've waited for this for a long time, Jack.
The evil dream will die.
Wing Kong outside.
- Were they real?
- Yeah. Dressed for Lo Pan's wedding.
What's in the flask? Magic potion?
- Yeah.
- Thought so. Good. Do we drink it?
- Yeah.
- Good. Thought so.
I am the past,
come back to haunt you, Lo Pan!
My God, no! Please!
What is that? Don't tell me.
A guardian. What it sees, Lo Pan knows.
They have returned.
And this time they are not alone.
Egg Shen is with them.
Little bastard sorcerer has brought them
through the Bog of the Dead Trees.
Egg Shen?
Egg Shen! You have come
a long ways to find me, but it is too late.
There are two girls with green eyes,
and I will marry them both.
And then I will sacrifice Gracie Law
to appease my emperor,
and live out my earthly pleasures
with Miao Yin.
That's right, Egg Shen.
The best of two worlds.
You never know till you try.
Let's get outta here.
You know what I don't like?
Where is everybody?
Preparing for Lo Pan's wedding.
We should not be in here, not this easily.
It's a setup, I'm tellin' ya.
Lo Pan is about to take his queen.
He's too busy to care.
So where is he, Egg? Where?
- Jack, here!
- What?
- Hollow.
- Fuck it.
- I know. It's an elevator. It only goes down.
- Yeah, look.
- Hey, all right!
- Time for the medicine!
- Cheers!
- This does what again, exactly?
Huge buzz.
Good!
You can see things no one else can see,
do things no one else can do.
- Real things?
- As real as Lo Pan.
- What more can a guy ask for?
- The six-demon bag!
Terrific. A six-demon bag.
Sensational. What's in it, Egg?
Wind! Fire! All that kind of thing.
Here's to the army and navy
and the battles they have won.
Here's to America's colours,
the colours that never run.
May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.
I feel pretty good. You know, I'm not...
I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of...
- I feel kind of invincible.
- Me too.
- I got a very positive attitude about this.
- Good. Me too.
Is it gettin' hot in here, or is itjust me?
Ch'ing-ti! Ch'ing-ti!
Great Ch'ing-ti, equal with heaven,
come into our presence
and witness this holy matrimony.
- Miao Yin.
- And the ultimate evil spirit.
And now, my beloved disciples,
the moment of truth.
The needle of love.
- I'd like to shoot that bastard.
- Not until he's married.
- Then he's flesh.
- Then it's too late.
Ch'ing-ti!
You, who shake the heavens
and descend from the east,
all I ask in order to conquer this universe
is that you grant me flesh and blood.
Yes! Guide my hand
as I insert this needle into Miao Yin.
Let him complete the ceremony.
Then he is ours for certain!
Come, my love. Give it to me.
It's working!
I'm mortal!
Look out, guys!
No way!
Come, Miao Yin, it won't hurt.
Shit!
Take her.
Peasant magic!
You never could beat me, Egg Shen.
- It's me.
- Are you all right?
- Never mind me. We gotta get Lo Pan.
- Where is he?
Wang!
Come on.
Pull it apart. Come on!
- Where does this go?
- Up. To Lo Pan's office. It's cooler up there.
- From there we can...
- Do you have a gun, I hope?
- I have a knife.
- A knife? He's 12 feet tall!
Seven. Don't worry.
I can handle him. I took something.
I can see things no one else can see.
- Why are you dressed like that?
- I was getting married.
He was marrying both of us,
just because my eyes are green too.
Oh, God. Is this really happening?
- Look into my eyes.
- No! Never!
I have suffered so much pain and agony.
Look at me!
No! I don't understand. I don't belong to you!
No, you don't. You belong to Ch'ing-ti.
I must sacrifice you,
but I love you and I need you.
No!
Here, take her! Take the bitch!
- Master, you are flesh!
- I am?
I am! It worked!
Ch'ing-ti is appeased.
Now we must satisfy the First
Sovereign Emperor by destroying this!
Not so fast, gentlemen.
Is it too much to ask, Thunder?
Kill him! For me!
It won't solve anything, Dave. Too many
people have been droppin' like flies already
and where's that gettin' us? Nowhere, fast.
Nah, you know what Jack Burton
always says at a time like this?
- Who?
- Jack Burton. Me!
Old Jack always says
"What the hell?"
It's a good knife.
Goodbye, Mr Burton.
It's all in the reflexes.
Wang!
You all right?
- Hey, thanks.
- Wait a minute.
I don't think he's gonna stop!
Come on!
- We got a problem.
- There!
Come on, Jack!
Jump, Jack!
- This whole place is melting!
- Hello! Hello!
- How'd you get up there?
- It wasn't easy! Stand aside!
Take it away!
Hang onto this.
Watch out, Wang Chi!
Go for it, Wang!
- Go!
- Come on, Jack, hurry!
There's my truck... My truck!
Get in.
- They took the key.
- Do you have a spare?
Course I do, but it's underneath the...
- What was that?
- 6.9 on the Richter scale. Hang on!
- Sorry.
- Don't you know how to drive this thing?
Relax.
Stop! Red light!
Take it easy. OK, we made it.
Yeah.
Look at that.
Doesn't that make you feel good?
Terrific.
The light's green. You can go.
- What are you doin', Jack?
- I'll be right back.
Where are you goin', Egg?
My work's done.
Lo Pan is dead and the evil spell's been lifted.
Years ago I promised myself a long vacation.
It is time to collect.
Well, why don't you go on over to China?
Visit the motherland?
Well, China's in the heart, Jack.
Wherever I go, she's with me.
- So what are you gonna call it?
- I don't know.
Maybe you can come over to my place later
and help me find a title?
- Here, Jack. Nothin' or triple.
- Nothin' or double.
Triple. You earned it.
You're right, I did. Thanks, Wang.
Well, last chance. I'm a rich man now.
I can give up the open road,
sell my truck, settle down.
Couldn't have that on my conscience.
The only way it might work
is if you buy a bigger truck
with a cosy little apartment
in back, just big enough for two.
That sounds pretty great. But sooner or later
I rub everybody the wrong way.
Well, let me think about it.
God, aren't you even
gonna kiss her goodbye?
No.
- See you around, Burton.
- Never can tell.
Bye, Jack.
We really shook the pillars of heaven,
didn't we, Wang?
- No horseshit, Jack.
- No horseshit.
You just listen to the Pork-Chop Express
and take his advice
on a stormy night, when the lightning's
crashin', the thunder's roarin',
and the rain's comin' down
in sheets thick as lead.
Remember what old Jack Burton does
when the earth quakes
and the poison arrows fall from the sky
and the pillars of heaven shake.
Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old
storm right square in the eye and he says
"Gimme your best shot, pal. I can take it."
Category:Transcripts
Category:20th Century Fox Transcripts