Beefcake The Mighty

== Beefcake The Mighty ==
Beefcake the Mighty is the bassist of Gwar. He appears as a stout humanoid girded in Roman-style armor. He is usually portrayed wielding either an oversized Gladius sword or a large battle-axe. In older versions he appears with abs, but in modern portrayals, he just has metal armor. He's had relatively few fundamental design changes in his armor from his inception: he has always worn a perversion of the Roman legionnaire armor, though his helmet somewhat resembles the corinthian style helmets of Greece. However, as Gwar became more successful, they had more resources to upgrade their costumes (which began primarily as papier-mache). Most of the changes have been subtle, and were/are largely based on available materials and the bassist's size. 
== Lore/Personality ==
According to Gwar mythos, Beefcake originates from the planet Cholesterol (where he met singer Oderus Urungus). He weighs approximately 299 tons. In Gwar mythos, Beefcake invented music. He did this by, after killing the dinosaurs, stertching their guts across the grand canyon and plucking them. 
Beefcake's personality has changed considerably since Hell-O!. Oderus Urungus and Beefcake originally had an almost brotherly relationship, and the dialog between the two reflected such. When Michael Bishop was replaced by Casey Orr, that relationship changed as well – instead, Beefcake became extremely arrogant ("Beef is an arrogant bastard with absolutely no regard for feelings of others. No one likes him and he wouldn't have it any other way. His ill temper and egotistical vanity make him the perfect rock star. He feels everyone is entitled to his opinion and if you don't like it you can fuck off.") and vile.
He was crude even to Oderus (as indicated in the dialogue between the two in "Dawn of the Day of the Night of the Penguins," between "Horror of Yig" and "Hate Love Songs"). While Bishop returned for We Kill Everything, his personality remained the same (possibly because Orr returned after the album was recorded). Little is known about Todd Evans' take on Beefcake, though his entries in the Gwar.net blog again reflect extreme arrogance ("Feast on the limitless knowledge that your puny, under-developed mind craves...and feel free to ask what you will, you just may warrant a reply, but probably not so don't hold your breath!").
== Character Info ==
Character Info/bio (taken from the This Toilet Earth CD booklet)NAME: Beefcake the Mighty
INSTRUMENT: Bass
AGE: How Rude!
HOME PLANET: Cholesterol
FAVORITE COLOR: Blowfly Blue
FAVORITE T.V. SHOW: Man Glance
FAVORITE MOVE: Terms of Endearment (anything with Meryl Streep)
LAST BOOK READ: Ulysses, James Joyce
LAST BOOK WRITTEN: The New Testament
HOBBIES: Turd surfing, golf, onanism, peeping
LAST ORIFICE VIOLATED: The famous 17th island hole at Sawgrass, or Chief Dan Feather
FAVORITE CELEBIRTY: Paul Lynde
DREAM OR GOAL: To one day be known as "The White Gary Coleman"
PHILOSPHY: "If at first you don't succeed, take sleeping pills"
MY GREATEST ACOMPLISHMENT: My work with the N.M.B.I.A.
WHAT SHAMES ME: My work with the N.M.B.I.A.
ON DATES I LIKE TO: Apologize
QUOTE: "I only wish that you, the peons, the lowly zit-ridden scum of outcast prepubescence so recklessly misspending the treasure of youth could truly understand my utter disdain for you as I look out from my lofty perch of immeasurable fame and opulence" 
== Who Plays Him? ==
In the early days of Gwar, Balsac the Jaws of Death played bass and Beefcake played guitar. However by the time Gwar's first album, Hell-O!, had been released, the roles had switched, and Beefcake became the permanent bass player.
Before their first album, the character of Beefcake was known as Cornelius Carnage and was played by Greg Ottiger. Soon, however, Cornelius Carnage's character was developed into Beefcake the Mighty. When Hell-O! was released in 1988, Beefcake was played by Michael Bishop. Bishop played the role until after the 1993 Halloween mini-tour (after recording This Toilet Earth, which would be released in January 1994). Casey Orr was enlisted to play the bass in February 1994.
Bishop temporarily replaced Orr for a stint around the recording of We Kill Everything. After the release of Violence Has Arrived in 2001, Orr and his wife had a baby. He left the band shortly thereafter, and was replaced by Todd Evans. Evans suited the role well, as he is credited as being much larger than any of the previous Beefcakes.
Evans continued to portray Beefcake for several years. Orr briefly returned to fill in for the 2007 European tour when Evans could not participate. In Spring 2008, Evans left Gwar to focus on his band, Mobile Deathcamp. On April 15, 2008, Casey Orr officially announced his return to the band, donning the armor of Beefcake the Mighty once more. 
On August 2, 2011, Casey Orr, once again, officially announced his amicable departure from Gwar and expressed his desire to pursue other projects. Orr joined the reformed Ministry. Jamison Land, a guitarist from The Burial, took on the role after Orr's departure.
Land announced his departure from the band in February 2019. As a result, Orr returned to the band as the character.
== Vocalist ==
Besides Oderous and Blothar, Beefcake has contributed as a vocalist the most. Before Oderous's passing, he had sung a song on every album, besides 3 (Violence Has Arrived, Beyond Hell, and Battle Maximus). Ever since Blothar joined, the tradition of having at least one Beefcake sung song seems to have been replaced by Pustulus Maximus. 
Below is the list of songs Beefcake sings lead vocals on, in order.
* "Cool Place to Park" from Scumdogs Of The Universe
* "The Road Behind" from America Must Be Destroyed
* "Pussy Planet" from America Must Be Destroyed
* "Jack the World" from This Toilet Earth
* "Eat Steel" from This Toilet Earth
* "Bad Bad Men" from This Toilet Earth
* "Fight" from This Toilet Earth
* "Cursh, Kill, Destroy" from Ragnarok
* "Hate Love Songs" from Carnival Of Chaos
* "The Bonus Plan" from War Party
* "Metal Metal Land" from Lust In Space
* "The Price Of Peace" from Lust In Space
* "Beat You to Death" from Bloody Pit Of Horror
== Miscellaneous ==
* Jamison Land is the only person version of Beefcake that does not sing a full song with lead vocals. 
* Casey Orr was also the lead singer in X-Cops, the only side project any version of Beefcake has participated in.
*Beefcake & Flattus both have 5 different people who've portrayed them throughout the years.
*Beefcake is genuinely the most human-like GWAR member.