The Wedding Arc

While everyone is at work and the city is deserted, the Wild Westians are having their meetings in the saloon. Jake, who has recently stocked up on multiple illicit goods, namely, chocolate eggs with toys in them, and Roxy decide to go to the saloon. Gamzee, the sheriff, a roxy that was not named roxy i literally cant remember but it was some famous persons name, Karkat the bartender, and Wild West Sullox were in the saloon when Jake and Roxy busted in with flair. They sat at the counter and immediately started selling their goods. Karkat agreed to buy some eggs if we got drinks, so Roxy got non kid friendly juice while Jake got a cuppa. Then Karkat bought like 34 eggs for $340. Western Sullox starting playing the piano, filling the saloon with wonderful music. Weezer. It was nice in the saloon, with Karkat keeping Gamzee at bay by giving him Faygo. Then, all of a sudden, Sullox started playing never Gonna Give You Up, which is by Rick Astley, and not Weezer. Jake went livid. He ran to the piano where Western Sullox was playing and punched him. They got on top of the piano and started getting rowdy, but then Sullox admitted that he actually likes Weezer as well.
thumb|324x324px|red's depiction of jake and western sullox making out after realizing they both love weezer
Then they kissed. Karkat was not happy with Jake and Sullox making out on top of the piano, but quickly got called out for being weezerphobic. This made Karkat change his ways, but it was too late. Sheriff Gamzee arrested Sullox and Jake for public displays of affection, but everyone knew it was just because he was weezerphobic. Sullox and Jake got put in jail, but demanded a court seeing. Roxy was the defense, while Sullox and Jake sat on the table staring weezerly at each other. Gamzee judged, and Karkat and green thumb roxy… i have no clue. Roxy made the mistake of mentioning the Kinder Eggs, but luckily Gamzee wasn't listening. Karkat made a very tear provoking speech about how he changed his mind on the weezer love and how it was beautiful. Gamzee started spitting some bars, obviously not Weezer, and Jake and Sullox got really upset. They started throwing tomatoes. After Gamzee finished his rap, he decided to let them go. THIS IS A WIN FOR THE WEEZER NATION!!!!! They went back to the saloon, and watched the stars on the balcony. That was when Sullox said, “Jake, can I ask you something?” Jake responded, “What is it?” Sullox got on one knee, and pulled out a box, “Will you be the Buddy to my Holly?” Jake started crying tears of joy, “YES!!” he said. They made out then and there oh so weezerly.
Within the next five minutes, Sullox and Jake had their wedding. Everyone was invited. Karkat officiated it. Meenah twerked for everyone. Occeus was being VERY weezerphobic. Gamzee wouldn't stop saying racial slurs. Dave took pictures. Roxy was the bridesmaid. It was beautiful. The wedding was caught on low quality camera. They gave their vows, kissed and went on their honeymoon where Roxy was the only one invited, but Meenah came along anyway for some reason even though she hates Weezer (UNACCEPTABLE!!!). They went to the campsite for their honeymoon and roasted weezer marshmallows from weezercon while telling stories. Jake told the story of how he and Sullox fell in love. Meenah told the story of how she will crush us all. Sullox told the story of his day in the saloon, marriage and all. Meenah went to sleep before Roxy told her story (UNFATHOMABLY RUDE.). Roxy told the story of how baby jade kidnapped her and she joined the mafia, but halfway through, Meenah woke up and started picking a fight with the newly weds, trying to push them into the fire. They went to sleep in the tents (the newly weds alone ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)), and went to watch the first Sonic movie in theaters the next morning with Roxy.
Meanwhile, Karkat and Dave got married or something, and became family men. They adopted Baby Jade, Meenah, and two sons that died. Someone will have to fill in what they did here because I was not there.
The newly weds met up with the family men in the 7/11 parking lot. Upon seeing his old friend Karkat with a loving family, Jake decided that he wanted one, and adopted Roxy. However, he did this without Western Sullox's input or consent. Western Sullox had to confront Jake off to the side of the 7/11 with a private conversation that everyone was listening to. He thought Jake was cheating on him, obviously because Roxy looks nothing like Western Sullox, and looked ugly to Sullox. Obviously, Jake was not cheating because he adopted her. Jake listens to Weezer. Jake is a virgin.
Then, deciding that it's what family men do, they decided to have a family gathering barbeque cookout. Karkat brought the potato salad and Jake worked the grill. Meenah went to her room like a brat and planned Jake's demise by sending a bomb to his house. Unfortunately for her, the admins got to it before her, smiting Jake while he was grilling. This is when everyone found the bathroom horses. Karkat stupidly rode them who knows why. The family gathering was going great. Since the house has no TV, Jake set up a projector and they watched Megamind.
What a bustling busy day in Homestuck city. I wonder what there is to look forward to tomorrow...
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=== The wedding. Recorded. ===
thumb|298x298px|the wedding in terrible quality brought to you by red. (canonically recorded by dave since he was the photographer)