Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)/Transcript

[The movies opens up in New York City.]
April O'Neil: Much more than just a series of small, isolated incidents it's now apparent that an organized criminal element is at work. And at the moment, business is good. So good, in fact, that there appear to be no eyewitnesses. to any of these crimes. With complaints ranging from purse-snatching to breaking and entering, police switchboards have been swamped. with the angry voices of more and more citizens who have fallen prey to the recent surge of crime that continues to plague the city.
[A boy name Danny looks over and passes a few stolen wallets and give it his master,]
April: Instead of getting better, things have actually gotten worse. Even more alarming is the baffling and often bizarre nature of these crimes. Merchandise of every size and description from skateboards to stereo systems has been disappearing from store shelves and storage areas at an alarming rate. 
[When a man heads to his truck, all of the packages have been gone.]
April: Even the victims themselves rarely catch a glimpse of the thieves. Many don't even know they've been victimized until it's too late. In fact, police have yet to come up with a single eyewitness. Only a few vague reports of young boys or teenagers at the scenes have been filed. But whoever is behind these crimes, one thing is certain. These are much more than just a series of random isolated incidents.
[In the night, the teens crawl underneath a fence.]
Teen: Come on. Hurry up.
[They started to head toward a secret hideout where all the teens present the stolen items to their master Tatsu.]
Tatsu: Good.
April: Crimes without criminals? An invisible gang at work? Who are we gonna call? Unfortunately, the police are the only ones available to combat what some are already dubbing "the silent crime wave." But perhaps the most disturbing silence is that coming from city hall. April O'Neil, Channel 3 Eyewitness News.
Man: You gotta stop working so hard, April.
April: What, and give up all this glamour? Ha-ha-ha. Good night.
Man: Good night.
Teen: Bad timing.
April: You're telling me.
Teen: Get her purse. Hey, get her purse.
April: Get away from me! What do you think... Help!
Teen: Get her jewelry. Hurry up.
Teen: Get the money. I got her watch.
[Suddenly, something broke the lights and everything went dark]
What the hell's going on? Thought I'd seen it all. Ready. All right. You tough guys. Roll over here. How did you get yourself into this, huh, kid? You all right, ma'am? 
April: Yeah, I'm fine. 
Listen, rest right here while we deal with these guys. Ted, give John a hand. What you got there? 
Raph: Oh, man. 
Come on, no fighting. Untie me. Let's get them in the car. 
Raph: Damn. 
[Later in the sewers, we see silhouettes of humanoid creatures walking by as they cheer for their victory.] 
Mikey: Spectacular. 
Donnie: We were awesome, bros. Far out. Ow! 
Mikey: Yes, dudes and dudettes... ...major league butt-kicking is back in town. 
Leo: Oh, yeah. 
[The movie stops in a freeze-frame as one of the shadows leaps out. The title card appears, similar to the one in the 1987 cartoon. As it disappears, we finally see the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themselves.]
Leo: Awesome. Ha-ha-ha. 
Mikey: Righteous. 
Donnie: Bossa nova! 
[They stop in confusion.] 
What? Huh? Bossa nova? 
Donnie: Chevy Nova? 
Leo: Oh. 
Donnie: Excellent. Yeah. All right. Come on, let's move it. I'm starving. Ooh. Ooh. We're talking major pizza attack here, dudes. Pizza. I need it. Oh, baby. 
Raph: Oh, man. 
All right. Evening, bros. Whoo! Give me three. 
Donnie: You got it. We were great. 
Raph: I can't believe it. Damn! 
All right. Shh, shh. Ha-ha. We have had our first battle, Master Splinter. They were many, but we kicked... We fought well. Mm-hm. 
Splinter: Were you seen? 
Mm-mm. 
Splinter: In this you must never lapse. Even those who would be our allies would not understand. Our domain is the shadow. Stray from it reluctantly. For when you do, you must strike hard and fade away without a trace. 
Raph: I lost a sai. 
Splinter: Then it is gone. 
Raph: But I can get it back. I can get it back, 
Splinter: Raphael, let it go. 
[Donnie rests his hand on Raph's shoulder, but he shoves him off. The two fight.]
Splinter: Hey.
[They stop fighting. We hear Mikey insert a coin to call on the phone.]
Splinter: Your ninja skills are reaching their peak. Only one truly important lesson remains, but must wait. I know it is hard for you here underground. 
Mikey: (on phone) I want a large thick crust with double cheese, ham, pepperoni. 
Splinter: Your teenage minds are broad, eager. But you must never stop practicing the art of ninja... the art of invisibility. 
Mikey: (on phone) Oh, but no anchovies. And I mean no anchovies. You put anchovies on this thing and you're in big trouble, okay? 
Splinter: (throws a book at Mikey) Michelangelo! 
Mikey: (on phone) That'll do. And the clock's ticking, dude. (hangs up)
Splinter: You are still young... ...but one day, I will be gone. Use my teachings wisely. I suggest we all meditate now... ...on the events of this evening. 
[Just then, the radio turns on and we see Mikey and Donnie dancing to Tequila.] 
Yeah. Yeah. Ninjitsu. 
Mikey: Well, this is like meditating. 
Leo: Hey, Raph, where you going? 
Raph: Out to a movie. That okay with you? 
Leo: Yeah. 
Mikey: Sock it to me, baby. 
Donnie: How you doing? 
Mikey: Fine. 
Donnie: Nice night. 
Mikey: Mm-hm. Pizza dude's got 30 seconds. 
Donnie: Mm-hm. Hey, Mikey, did you ever think about what Splinter said tonight? I mean, about what it would be like... you know, not having him? 
Mikey: Hmm. Time's up. Three bucks off. 
Donnie: Mm. 
Deliveryman: Okay. Now, 122, 122 and an eighth? 122 and an eighth. Terrific. Where the heck is 122 and an eighth? 
Mikey: You're standing on it, dude. Just slip it down here. Give me that. 
Deliveryman: Hey, this is a 10. The tab's 13. 
Mikey: You're two minutes late, dude. 
Deliveryman: Oh, come on. I couldn't find the place. 
Mikey: Wise man say, "Forgiveness is divine but never pay full price for late pizza." 
Deliveryman: I gotta get a new route. And I thought I delivered everywhere. 
[Underground, Mikey throws the pizza pie up in the air and Leo slices it with his swords.]
Mikey: Yes, friends, the new Turbo Ginsu. It dices, it slices, and yet makes French fries in three different... (a slice drops on Splinter's head) Whoops! 
Splinter: Mm. Kids. 
[They start eating pizza.]
Donnie: Hmm. There's a joke on the... I know. 
[Meanwhile, Raph is seen exiting out of the movie theater, which is showing Critters.]
Raph: Ugh. Where do they come up with this stuff? Hey. Hey. Come back here. Somebody stop them. Where's the...? What? Huh? Huh. Mm-mm. Whoa. What the hell was that? 
I don't know. 
Casey: Now, that was a crime, you purse-grabbing pukes... and this is the penalty. Two minutes for slashing, two minutes for hooking, and let's not forget my personal favorite... two minutes for high-sticking. Aah! 
Raph: How about a five-minute game misconduct for roughing, pal? 
Casey: Hey, Bogie, now, who died and made you referee? You did your job, now let me do mine. These JV lowlifes need a lesson. 
Raph: Not like that they don't. Not from you. 
[The two thugs run off.]
Casey: Well, it looks like you're the one who needs to be taught a lesson, pal. Class is Pain 101. Your instructor is Casey Jones. 
Raph: Look, I don't wanna fight you. 
Casey: Well, tough rocks, pal. 
Raph: A Jose Canseco bat? Tell me you didn't pay money for this. 
Casey: Ooh. That's it. Was a two-for-one sale, pal. Hey, what are you, some sort of punker? 
Raph: Huh? 
Casey: God, I hate punkers. Especially bald ones with green makeup who wear masks over ugly faces. 
Raph: That's it. 
Casey: Ooh. 
Raph: New batter. 
Casey: Strike one. Whoa. Whiffer. Ooh. Uhn! 
Raph: Home run. Raphael wins. One-nothing! Well? 
Casey: New game, roundhead. Cricket. 
Raph: Cricket? Nobody understands cricket. You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket. 
Casey: I'll teach you. Ooh... See? Six runs. So long, freak. I got work to do. 
Raph: Freak? (gets the trash can off) Freak! 
[He chases after Casey, bumping into a cab along the way.] 
Passenger: What the heck was that? 
Cab Driver: Looked like sort of a big turtle in a trench coat. You're going to LaGuardia, right? 
[Raphael continues chasing after Casey.]
Raph: Come back here! I'm not finished with you! 
[Cut to a view of New York City.]
Raph: (offscreen) DAAAAAAAAAMN!!!
[Later that night, Raph returns to the sewers, where Splinter is waiting for him.]
Splinter: Raphael. Come sit by me. 
Raph: Could this wait till morning? 
Splinter: You will listen now. (Raphael sits down) My master Yoshi's first rule was possess the right thinking. Only then can one receive the gifts of strength, knowledge and peace. I have tried to channel your anger, Raphael... but more remains. Anger clouds the mind. Turned inward, it is an unconquerable enemy. You are unique among your brothers... for you choose to face this enemy alone. But as you face it, do not forget them. And do not forget me. I am here, my son. 
Charles: Come on, April, you could've called me last night, you know? Call it a quirk, but I like to know when one of my best reporters has been mugged. 
April: I wasn't mugged, Charles. Besides, I knew you'd just worry and then rush over here like you did this morning. 
Charles: From now on, security is gonna escort you to that Stone-Age van of yours every night. 
April: Yes, sir. 
Charles: I'm not kidding, April. 
April: Ugh. Hey, Danny, how's school going? 
Danny: Fine. 
Charles: Oh, wonderful. So wonderful I have to drive him there every morning now just to make sure he goes. See? That's what he does when he wants to ignore me. Sticks his head in those things. I wonder where the hell he got those things, anyway. 
April: Charles, give the kid a break. 
Charles: Just what is going on out there, April? I've never seen anything like this before. Like the city's falling apart. It's getting so you can't step outside in the daytime anymore. 
April: Well, I'll tell you one thing. After everything I've heard out of Little Tokyo, Sterns is gonna have some answering to do this afternoon. 
Charles: Look. Just take it easy, okay? He's already got the mayor breathing down my neck. 
Chief Sterns: We are presently executing a plan of redeployment that will minimize response time while maximizing coordination between patrol units in a decentralized networking scheme. 
April: Huh. I'm not sure I understood all that, Chief Sterns. Would you mind repeating it in English, perhaps? 
Chief Sterns: What that means, Miss O'Neil, is that we have everything well in hand. You know why crimes have been escalating. 
Donnie: Guys, look. 
Leo: That's her. 
Chief Sterns: No, I didn't say that either. Miss O'Neil, if you would stick to asking questions, there would be a lot... 
Mikey: Mmm. I'm in love. 
April: What do you know about an organization known as The Foot Clan? 
Chief Sterns: There is no evidence to link such a name to these incidents. 
April: Are you denying that such an organization known as The Foot exists? 
Chief Sterns: I'm not denying anything. Again, you're putting words into my mouth. 
Shredder: Find her. 
April: It often seems that somebody ought to. 
Shredder: Silence her. 
Chief Sterns: Miss O'Neil... 
Mikey: She's great. 
An understatement as usual. You're telling me. The girl is a fox. 
Weatherman: Look at the local weather for this vicinity as it stands at this hour. 
Chief Sterns: (offscreen) O'Neil, get in here. 
April: Time me. 
Chief Sterns: Just what is it you hoped to accomplish out there besides busting my chops? 
April: I think you know just as much as I do about this Foot Clan, and I don't think you're doing anything about it. 
Chief Sterns: You expect me to waste manpower because a few immigrants are reminded of something that supposedly happened years ago in Japan? 
April: Have you got something else? 
Chief Sterns: Are you trying to tell me how to do my job? 
One-oh-seven, a new record. 
April: Oh, great. Just great. 
Foot Clan Ninja: We've been waiting for you, Miss O'Neil. 
April: What? Am I behind on my Sony payments again? Ha-ha-ha. 
Foot Clan Ninja: Your mouth may yet bring you much trouble, Miss O'Neil. I deliver a message. Hah! Shut it. 
April: All right. That's it. 
Leo: Are you crazy? 
Raph: Yeah, Leo, I'm crazy. Okay? A loony. Okay? 
Leo: Why? 
Raph: Why? Why? Oh, I don't know. Because I wanted to redecorate. You know, a couple of throw pillows, a TV news reporter. What do you think? 
Splinter: Ahem. Raphael, what are you doing? 
Raph: She got jumped in the subway. I had to bring her here. 
Donnie: It's the newslady. 
Mikey: Can we keep her? 
Splinter: Bring water, cold washcloth, pillow. 
Mikey: Far out. 
April: Oh...
Mikey: Hi.
April: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm dead! I'm dead! aren't I?
Leo: It's okay.
April: No, I'm dreaming. I must be dreaming. Okay. Now, those guys in the black pajamas, they jumped me. And that rat... I saw you in the parking lot. That explains you. And you guys... Um.... I have no idea where you came from.
Splinter: If you will please just sit down and calm yourself, I will tell you where we came from.
April: It talks.
Splinter: It is really quite simple, Miss O'Neil.
April: And he knows my name. Perfect.
Splinter: Fifteen years ago...
April: Why don't I ever dream of Harrison Ford?
Splinter: For 15 years now, we have lived here. Before that time, I was a pet of my master Yoshi mimicking his movements from my cage and learning the secret art of ninja. When we were forced to come to New York I found myself for the first time without a home wandering the sewers, scavenging for whatever I could find. And then, one day I came upon a shattered glass jar and four baby turtles.
Mikey: That was us.
Splinter: The little ones were crawling into a strange glowing ooze from a broken canister nearby. I gathered them up in an old coffee can and when I awoke the next morning, I received a shock for they had doubled in size. I too was growing, particularly in intellect and I was amazed at how intelligent they seemed. But nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. One of them spoke. 
Baby Turtle: Pizza! Pizza!
Splinter: More words followed and I began their training teaching them all that I had learned from my master. 
Baby Turtle: Radical! Radical! Radical!
Splinter: And soon I gave them all names... ...Leonardo... ...Michelangelo...
Mikey: That's me.
Splinter: Donatello... ...and Raphael.
April: I'm not dreaming, am I?
Splinter: No, I'm afraid not.
[Later]
April: [to the turtles] Are you guys sure you know where you're going?
Mikey: 11th and Bleecker? Nope. This is only 9th Street. Ha. Get it?
[They arrive at the surface. April went up first and onto the road. Leo then pokes his head out.]
April: I'd like to invite you all in, but I really don't have anything to offer you guys except for frozen pizza.
Mikey: Let's go for it!
Donnie: [climbs out of the manhole cover] You said the magic word.
April: You guys eat pizza?
Both: Doesn't everybody?
April: Yeah, well... ...all right.
Leo: Hey, did she say pizza?
Mikey: So you live in an antique store?
Donnie: Yep. Pizza.
[They head to her apartment.]
April: Well, above, actually. What do you guys like on your pizza?
Mikey: Just the regular stuff. Flies, stink bugs. It was a joke. Ha-ha.
[In the kitchen, April and the turtles laugh at Mikey's joke.]
Mikey: [Imitating Rocky] Yeah, well, maybe I'll fight Apollo maybe I won't, you know? What do you think? Adrian!
April: Ha-ha-ha.
Mikey: Hey, I got another one.
April: This is totally cool.
Raph: Oh, no, not Cagney.
Mikey: You dirty rat. You killed my brother. You dirty rat.
April: Ha-ha-ha. That must be Splinter's favorite. Ha-ha-ha. It was a joke.
(all laughing)
Leo: And speaking of which, we better get going. He worries.
April: Well, I don't know what to say. Will I ever see you guys again?
Mikey: Indubitably.
Leo: That depends on how fast you stock your pizza.
April: Deal.
See you around.
April: Bye.
Raph: Later.
[April closes the door after the turtles leave.]
[in the sewers]
Donnie: Ha-ha. No doubt about it. She loved us.
Mikey: It was the impressions, dudes.
Donnie: You wish.
Leo: Hold it.
[Everyone looked inside the lair and saw that it was ramshacked. They also find that Splinter is missing.]
Splinter.
[Raphael lets out a loud cry of anguish. Later, they went back to April's apartment. As the young reporter opened up the door, she notices the sad looks on their faces.]
April: What's wrong?
Leo: Splinter.
[In the office, Sterns is looking at the poolice files and then calls Charles.]
Charles: Hello.
Officer: Hello. Charles Pennington?
Charles: Yeah. Who's this?
Officer: You got a son named Danny, Charles?
[The next day, April and the turtles hear a door knock.]
April: Who is it?
Charles: It's me, Charles.
April: It's my boss. Can you guys..... hide?
[She realized that the turtles are gone. She opens the door and let Charlies and Danny in.]
April: Charles, what's up?
Charles: April, listen. I've... You have been working awful hard on this story lately. Why don't you take it easy for a while? Just... Just... Just let somebody else handle it. Just for a little while, you know?
April: Charles, what are you talking about? It's my story. No way.
Charles: Well, look at you. You're exhausted.
April: I just had a rough night.
Charles: Well, let somebody else help you cover city hall.
[Danny looked and notice Mikey under the table, when he turned, he sees nothing.]
April: Charles, that's ridiculous. What's with you today?
Charles: Nothing's with me today. I just thought you might like a little help, that's all.
April: Well, I don't. Hand me a towel, will you?
Charles: Where do you keep the towels?
[April notice Donnie near the bath curtain.]
April: Charles, no.
[When Charles opens the curtains, Donnie is gone.]
Charles: What's wrong?
April: I just... I just don't want you to see my unsightly bathtub ring. Okay? Just out, out, out. I have to get ready for work.
Charles: Are you sure you won't reconsider some help?
April: Hey, Danny, will you tell your father to relax?
Danny: [looking under the table] I wish.
Charles: Just don't push any buttons today. Okay?
[After they are gone, Mikey appears behind April.]
Mikey: That was close. Whoa! Time to switch to decaf, April.
[Charles and Danny are in the car.]
Charles: I don't get it, Danny. I make enough money to provide for both of us and you're stealing. Why?
Danny: I don't know.
Charles: You don't know? What the heck were you doing with a car stereo anyway? Or don't you know?
Danny: Sorry.
Charles: Sorry? Not as sorry as you're gonna be after school. 
[Danny gets out of the car and into a subway station]
Charles: Danny, damn it. Danny, come back here.
[later that night at the warehouse.]
Man: Check it out, man. Anything you guys want, we got it. Anything you want to do... ...do it. Know what I'm saying? Anything. You got any cigarettes? Regular or menthol?
Boy: Read them and weep, boys. Full house. Oh no.
Boy 4: How's this look?
[Tatsu starts to fight one of the boys and defeats him.]
Tatsu: Never lower your eyes to an enemy.
Boy: Yes, Master Tatsu.
[A gong sounds. Everyone started to gather around. Stepping into the scene was Shredder.]
Tatsu: Master Shredder.
Shredder: Money cannot buy the honor which you have earned tonight. You make us all proud. Only effort, discipline, loyalty earn the right to wear the dragon dogi. You are here because the outside world rejects you. This is your family. I am your father. I want you all to become full members of The Foot. There is a new enemy, freaks of nature who interfere with our business. You are my eyes and ears. Find them. Together we will punish these... ...creatures. These... turtles.
Danny: Master?
[Shredder looks to see Danny. who knew where they are. In April's apartment...]
June: This is beginning to sound less and less like your common, garden-variety subway mugging.
April: Exactly, June.
Leo: Boy, she's a good reporter.
Mikey: She's a babe.
April: Organization known as The Foot.
June: I'm sorry, The Foot?
April: Yeah, I know it sounds like a funky club for podiatrists, but I've been speaking with Japanese-Americans in the past few days who say that our crime wave is reminiscent of a secret band of ninja thieves who once operated in Japan.
June: Are the police looking into this?
April: I've included everything in my statement, but I doubt very much that Chief Sterns is taking this possible connection seriously.
June: I see. Well, perhaps if any of our viewers...
Charles: Oh, God.
Woman: Mr. Pennington, Chief Sterns' office.
June: Contact local police or get in touch with us...
Stern: Pennington, I thought we had a deal!
June: You still haven't told us how you got away from your attacker.
April: It's really quite incredible. Some citizens of New York actually came to my rescue. Who says everyone in the Big Apple looks the other way? Seriously, I would like to take this opportunity to thank one of those individuals in particular. And if he's watching, thanks, Raphael.
Studly.
Donnie: Hey, look. I think he's blushing.
Raph: I am not.
Donnie: I think he's actually turning red. Maybe not.
Raph: So, what do we do now?
Leo: What do you mean, what do we do now?
Raph: Splinter's out there somewhere.
Leo: I know Splinter's out there.
Mikey: Fight?
Donnie: Fight.
Mikey: Kitchen?
Donnie: Kitchen.
Raph: So, what are we gonna do about it?
Leo: What can we do about it? April's our only link to these guys. We have to wait until she comes up with something.
Raph: Oh, so that's the plan from our great leader, huh? Just sit here on our butts.
Leo: I never said I was your great leader.
Raph: Well, you sure act like it sometimes.
Leo: Yeah? Well, you act like a jerk sometimes, you know that? And this attitude of yours isn't helping anything.
Raph: Well, maybe I'll just take my attitude and leave!
Leo: Why don't you?
Raph: I will.
[Raph leaves in anger.]
Leo: Good. Go ahead. We don't need you.
Mikey: Pork rind?
Donnie: Pork rind.
[on the rooftop]
Raph: Damn!
[Nearby, Casey noticed Raph not to far away. On the rooftop, Raph sits down, unaware that the foot ninjas are coming behind him. In April's apartment, Donnie and Mikey are watching a classic cartoon.]
Mikey: Go. Move it, will you? You're letting him blow right by you. Can you believe this guy? Come on. Don't just... Ninja-kick the damn rabbit. Do something. Hey. April, hey, you were great.
[April enters]
April: Thanks, Mikey.
Mikey: Ho... She called me Mikey.
Leo: Hear anything yet?
April: Not yet. They're gonna repeat the interview at 5 and 6. And we're gonna have to wait and see if it helps generate any new information. Hey, I told them to call me here immediately if anyone calls the station.
Leo: Thanks, April. We really appreciate, you know, everything.
Mikey: Yeah.
April: Hey, forget it. Where's Raphael?
April: Well, I was gonna give you guys a tour of the store. Shall we go get him?
Both: No.
Donnie: He just needs to blow off some steam.
Mikey: Yeah.
Raph: You guys must be studying the abridged book of ninja fighting. Come on, come here. Come here. I mean, come on. How do you guys expect to beat me? Good answer.
April: I only keep it open part-time, mostly for my dad. Heh. He loved junk. I don't know. It's dumb to lose money on a business just because you miss your father.
Leo: No, it isn't.
April: Ready?
[The turtles look around the store.]
Donnie: This place has everything.
April: Yup, just about.
April: Has Raph been gone a long time?
Donnie: No. He does it all the time. He likes it.
April: Are you sure?
Donnie: Don't worry. He'll probably be back any minute.
[Suddenly, Raph crashed right through the window.]
April: [horrified] Raph! Is he...?
Donnie: No, he's alive. Barely.
April: Oh God.
[Foot Ninjas crash through the windows.]
Leo: Hey, what the...?
Mikey: Whoa. And I thought insurance salesmen were pushy. Ohh. A fellow chucker, eh? Keep practicing.
[Donnie leaps and knock the ninjas down. Everyone started fighting for their lives, tacking ninjas down as April takes cover.]
Leo: Hey, one of these guys must know where they're holding Splinter. So don't knock them all out.
Mikey: I don't think that will be a problem, Leo.
[Donnie gets dunked into the aquarium.]
Mikey: Hey, Donnie, Wheel of Fortune, dude.
[Donnie spins Mikey around.]
Foot Clan Soldier: Bisen-tos. Now!
Donnie: I guess they're not game show fans.
Mikey: And I thought everybody loved Vanna.
[They dodged the axes.]
Mikey: Oh, what a spaz. Missed again.
Donnie: Good thing they aren't lumberjacks.
Mikey: No joke. The only thing safe in the woods would be the trees.
Donnie: Guys, I'm not so sure if this is, structurally speaking such a good time for your buddies to drop in.
[The floor gives way, sending them fall into the ground level.]
Mikey: Man, we could really use Raph right about now. Now what?
[Suddenly a door slammed open.]
Casey: Oh. You guys mind telling me what you're doing to my little green pal over there? Mm? Oh, who is the babe?
Mikey: Who the heck is that? Wayne Gretzky on steroids?
Tatsu: Attack.
[The foot soldiers charge and Casey fights back. Then the apartment started to engulf in flames.] 
Leo: Come on, we got to get out of here.
April: Help me. There used to be a trapdoor here to the basement.
Casey: Yeah, come on, you ugly muggers. Come on.
We're getting out of here.
Casey: Gangway, men. I'll take care of these guys.
Leo: You coming?
Casey: I'll cover you.
Leo: Good idea.
[Everyone gets into the trap door as they fight, Casey heared the phone ring.]
Messenger: Hi, this is April. Leave a message after the beep.
Casey: What?
Charles: (via message) April, it's Charles. I'm sorry. I don't know how else to say this. You're fired, April. I'm sorry. I know this comes as a blow.
Casey: You can say that again, Chuck.
Leo: Come on.
Casey: Bye, guys, got to run.
Tatsu: Ninja, vanish.
[The van begins to leave as April watch as her apartment and store engulf in flames.]
Shredder: What are these freaks? How do they know how to fight like this? You will answer. Then hang there until you die.
[Angered, Tatsu throws a tantrum.]
Man: Master Tatsu, stop, please, please. Please, no.
Boy: Shinsho. You'll be all right. You'll be all right.
[Danny looked over to see Splinter.]
Splinter: How can a face so young wear so many burdens?
Danny: So you can talk.
Splinter: Yes, and I can also listen. Some say that the path from inner turmoil begins with a friendly ear. My ear is open if you care to use it.
Danny: [uncertain] No, I don't think so.
Splinter: What is your name?
Danny: Danny.
Splinter: And have you no one to go to, Danny? No parent?
Danny: My dad couldn't care less about me.
Splinter: I doubt that is true.
Danny: Why?
Splinter: All fathers care for their sons.
[April's van arrives at the house in the outskirts of the city.]
April: How's Raphael?
Leo: [worried, offscreen] Not so good.
Casey: [offscreen] Hey, didn't they use this place in The Grapes of Wrath?
April: [offscreen] Very funny. I told you, I haven't been up here in years. 
[They exit the car.]
April: Can you fix it?
[Casey mimics gunshot]
Casey: Does that answer your question? I mean, the block's got a crack in it the size of the San Andreas.
April: Wonderful. Well, I guess I've got some walking to do.
Casey: What for?
April: Our nearest neighbor is about four miles away. I need to get to a phone, and I need to call my boss.
Casey: You mean Charles?
April: How did you know that?
Casey: Well, he left a message on your machine just before we got out.
April: And?
Casey: Well, hey, you just saved yourself an eight-mile round-tripper. You were fired.
April: I'm... I just saved myself?
Casey: Yeah.
April: What did you do? Did you take classes in insensitivity?
Casey: I was just trying to break it to you easy.
April: Oh, well, you failed miserably.
Casey: Hey, Broadzilla, you wouldn't be here if it weren't for me, okay?
April: Oh, and what do you want? Do you want a thank you?
Casey: No. It's me who should thank you for that privilege, right?
April: Fine. Thank you.
Casey: Yeah. No, thank you.
April: You're welcome.
Casey: You're welcome.
Donnie: Gosh, it's kind of like Moonlighting, isn't it?
[For the past few days, the turtles had been living on the farm as April sketched down a few drawings.]
April: (narrating) It's strange being back on the old farm. Even after all these years, it still feels like home. My amazing new friends have suffered their first real defeat. That's bad enough but they've also lost the opportunity to find out about their mentor and I'm sure that hurts them much more than anything else. Each of them deals with this confusion in his own way. Donatello has found someone to latch onto.
[We face to Donnie and Casey fixing up the truck]
Casey: Not even close, zip neck. The Professor and Mary Ann, happily ever after.
Donnie: No way, atomic mouth. Gilligan was her main man. They'd be married and have six kids by now.
Casey: Gilligan was a geek, barfaroni.
Donnie: You're the geek, camel breath.
Casey: Dome head.
Donnie: Hmm! Elf lips.
Casey: Let's give this a try, see if this transplant worked, fungoid.
Donnie: All right, here it goes. What are we on?
Casey: Uh... G.
Donnie: Here goes, gack face.
Casey: I'm ready, hose brain.
[The truck moves, causing it to crash into the building.]
Donnie: It worked.
April: [narrating] Leonardo, meanwhile, has kept a constant vigil with Raphael.
[April checks on Leo who is waiting for Raph to wake up.]
April: He'll be okay.
[Back to April still sketching.]
April: (narrating) And then there's Casey Jones, a 9-year-old trapped in a man's body. He might almost be cute if it wasn't for that pigheadedness.
[Outside of the house.]
April: Donatello.
Casey: He's out with the others... ...they're exercising. Doing something together, I don't know. You want some help? Hey, I am your man. I am Mr. Fix-it.
April: All right.
Casey: Let's go. Lead the way, toots.
April: Toots?
Casey: Oh... Babe? Sweetcakes? Ah! Princess. Do you want to throw me a clue here? I'm drowning.
April: You know what? That's okay. I'll take care of it myself.
Casey: Fine, that's up to you. Just don't come around here asking for my help anymore.
April: See, I wouldn't ask for your help if you were the last thing on the face of this planet.
Casey: It's coming along nicely.
[Leo had been asleep for a while and when he woke up, he heard Raph murmur.]
Raph: Hey.
[Leo looked up and saw that Raph is awake.]
Leo: What? Raph! You're awake. How do you feel?
Raph: What's a guy got to do to get some food around here?
Leo: [energetic] Hey. Hey, he's awake! He wants some food! Bring some food! You're gonna be okay, Raph. You're gonna be okay.
Raph: Yeah, yeah, all right, Leo. Get a grip, will you?
Leo: [apologetic as he pulled Raph out of the tub.] Listen, Raph. About what I said before... ...you know... ...about not needing you and all, like...
Raph: Leo... ...don't.
Leo: Oh, boy, we missed you.
Donnie: It's a Kodak moment.
[Everyone laughs. Now reunited, the turtles begin to train]
April: [narrating] The turtles are four once again and yet, still not whole. A lingering doubt remains. An unknown which they can't bear to face... ...their greatest fear.
Tatsu: Your empire flourishes, Master Shredder.
Shredder: What more from the rat?
Tatsu: Nothing. He will not speak.
Shredder: And the boy who led us to the turtles?
Tatsu: He is still missing. I do not understand. Why do the turtles trouble you, master? They have not been seen for many days.
Shredder: Something about the way you described their fighting. Something familiar. Something from the past.
[In the farmhouse, Casey is chopping carrots with a sword. April comes in. Casey puts her in a chair and starts massaging her.]
April: Ointment?
Raph: Hey, guys.
Casey: Oh God.
Raph: Funny, Mikey.
[Raph, Donnie and Mikey are inside the house.]
Raph: What Russian novel, embracing more than 500 characters, is set in the Napoleonic Wars?
Donnie: War and Peace.
[Leo comes in]
Leo: He's alive.
Raph: Hey.
Donnie: Thanks, spaz.
Leo: Splinter's alive.
Donnie: We know, Leo. Of course he is. We all think he's alive.
Leo: I don't think. I know.
[Later that night, the turtles sit around the campfire.]
Raph: Leo... ...if you dragged us out here for nothing...
Donnie: Don't worry. I came prepared.
Leo: Put those away. Now, everybody, close your eyes and concentrate. Concentrate hard.
[They meditate. At once, the fire turned blue. Splinter appears in a vision.]
Splinter: I am proud of you, my sons. Tonight you have learned the final and greatest truth of the ninja that ultimate mastery comes not of the body but of the mind. Together, there is nothing your four minds cannot accomplish. Help each other. Draw upon one another. And always remember the true force that binds you the same as that which brought me here tonight that which I gladly return with my final words. I love you all, my sons.
[the next morning]
April: So you actually played professionally?
Casey: Before I got hurt, less than a year.
April: I'm sorry.
Casey: So was I. Guys, I told you... ...I hate it when you do that, all right?
April: What is it?
Leo: It's time to go back.
[They started to head their way back to New York. It's raining as everyone gets out.
April: Oh no. Oh.
Leo: Home sweet home.
Raph: Yuck. Now I know what it's like to travel without a green card.
Casey: This isn't bad. Nice place, guys. In fact, l...
Mikey: Are you coming or not, dude?
[They head down into the sewers]
Casey: This is great, it's great. First, it's the farm that time forgot, and now this. Why don't I ever fall in with people who own condos? Guess it's hard to get good maid service in a sewer. Maybe you guys should try Roto-Rooter.
April: Would you quit complaining? It's just for the night.
Raph: I still don't see why we don't get started right away.
Leo: It's been a long drive, Raph. And before we go out advertising to The Foot that we're back we could all use a few hours' sleep.
Raph: Yeah. I know, you're right. I'm just... What's that?
[They look, and find Danny, hiding.]
April: Danny!?
Danny: Don't shoot.
Raph: I don't think it's loaded, kid.
April: Danny, what are you doing here?
Mikey: Where'd he come from?
Donnie: Beats me.
Danny: I ran away from home.
April: Oh God, your father's gonna have kittens. Does this thing work?
Danny: No. No, please don't call. Just let me stay here the night with you. We can call in the morning. I promise.
April: Danny, listen, your dad, he's...
Casey: Hold on, hold it. Okay, now, what is all this talk about spending the night down here?
Donnie: You're a claustrophobic.
Casey: Do you want a fist in the mouth? I've never even looked at another guy before.
April: What he means is that you're afraid of enclosed areas.
Casey: Afraid? What, me? Is that what you think? Hey, I don't have to take this stuff about being afraid. I'm gonna sleep in the truck.
[He leaves. April gives Danny the sketches she gave him.]
Danny: Jeez, these are good.
April: Thanks.
Danny: Do you think maybe I could have one?
April: Sure, why not?
Danny: Thanks.
Mikey: Oh man, I could really go for a little deep-dish action right about now.
Danny: I had some pizza down here the other day. There might be some left over.
[Mikey yells and heads over to Donnie who notice the pizza box.]
Mikey: Well?
Donnie: Question.
Mikey: Yeah?
Donnie: Do you like penicillin on your pizza?
Mikey: D'oh!
[Realizing that the pizza had fungi on it, the two turtles lower it down and sing the Taps funeral.]
[In the truck, Casey is having a hard time sleeping.]
Casey: "Afraid of enclosed areas."
Shredder: [VO] You are here... ...because the outside world rejects you. And you have no one to go to, Danny? This is your family. All fathers care for their sons.
[Danny wakes up and starts to leave the lair. Casey wakes up and notice Danny leaving the sewers. He starts to investigate. Danny returns to Shredder's hideout to see Splinter.]
Splinter: I have not seen you for days.
Danny: Yeah, I've been down at my hideout a lot lately.
Splinter: And do you now hide from your surrogate family as well?
Danny: I don't know.
Splinter: I too once had a family, Danny. Many years ago. I lived in Japan a pet of my master, Yoshi mimicking his movements from my cage and learning the mysterious art of Ninjitsu for Yoshi was one of Japan's finest shadow warriors. His only rival was a man named Oroku Saki and they competed in all things but none more fiercely than for the love of a woman. Tang Shen. Shen's love was only for my master and rather than see him fight Saki for her hand she persuaded Yoshi to flee with me to America, but Saki vowed vengeance. I remember it well. As my master returned home to find his beloved Shen lying on the floor. And then he saw her killer. Saki wasted no words, and during the struggle, my cage was broken. I leapt to Saki's face, biting and clawing but he threw me to the floor and took one swipe with his katana, slicing my ear. Then he was gone, and I was alone.
Danny: Whatever happened to this Oroku Saki?
Splinter: No one really knows but you wear his symbol upon your brow.
[In the hideout, Casey, disguised as a foot soldier looks around for Danny.]
Shredder: What are you doing in there, boy?
Danny: Nothing.
Shredder: Where have you been?
Danny: Nowhere.
Shredder: You're lying to me.
Danny: No.
Shredder: And you're hiding something as well. [pulls out the drawing] They're back.
Tatsu: Master.
Shredder: There will be no mistake this time. I go myself. And the rat... ...kill it.
[Danny, realizing Splinter will be killed, has to run but Casey grabs him]
Danny: Hey, what do you want?
Casey: Shh, shh. Recognize me now, kid? Hey, what's the deal?
Danny: You got to come with me.
Casey: What are you talking about? Come with you?
Danny: They're gonna kill Splinter.
[The Foot Clan went down into the sewers until they are knocked down by steam and someone attacking them. Once the mist cleared, the turtles had defeated them.]
Donnie: No sweat.
Raph: Gosh, I do hope there's more of them.
[Casey and Danny arrive.]
Casey: Well, where are the keys?
[Casey starts to release Splinter from his chains along with Danny's help.]
Splinter: Who are you?
Casey: The name's Casey Jones. A friend. Let's get out of here.
[They suddenly get comfort by Tatsu and his men. The turtles continue on fighting the Foot Clan.
Mikey: A little to the right. A little to the left. One more time. A little bit more like that. And stop. Perfect. You're a natural, sis.
April: Thanks.
Casey: Now, you know, a little Primatene might just help to clear that up there. [gets punched] That's gonna cost you, Tinker Bell. I don't think that you're listening. You know, I'm starting to pick up on a little language barrier thing going here. 
[Casey managed to fight back, and knocked Tatsu into the crates.] 
Casey: I'll never call golf a dull game again.
[The turtles continue on fighting the ninjas]
Gangway. Showoff.
Teen: What are we just standing here for? Let's get him.
Casey: Do you want to be first, junior, huh?
Teen: We have a loyalty to The Shredder.
Splinter: The Shredder uses you. He poisons your minds to obtain that which he desires. He cares nothing for you or the people you hurt.
Teen: We're a family.
Casey: Family? Is that what you said? Family? You call this here... and that down there, family?
[Outside, the Foot Clan retreat to the surface.]
Donnie: Hey, dudes, where you going?
Mikey: Hey, Donnie, looks like this one's suffering from shell shock.
Donnie: Too derivative.
Mikey: Boy, I guess we can really shell it out.
Donnie: Too clichéd.
Mikey: Well, it was a shell of a good hit.
Donnie: I like it. Step up.
Mikey: Awesome.
Hey, where do you think you're going?
Mikey: Hey, wait for me. God, I love being a turtle!
Come on, come on. Aw. No more?
[Finally, the Shredder ominously lands down before the Turtles.]
Leo: Does anybody have any idea about who or what this is?
Mikey: I don't know... but I'll bet it never has to look for a can opener.
Shredder: You fight well in the old style, but you've caused me enough trouble. Now you face... The Shredder.
Donnie: The Shredder?
Mikey: Maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw.
Raph: I got him.
[Raph attacks, but Shredder blocks his attacks and knocks him down.]
Leo: This guy's good.
Yeah.
Why don't you go next?
Leo: Thank you.
[Leo attacks, but Shredder knocks him aside.]
Mikey: Uh... Match you for it?
Both: One, two, three. Damn. Great.
[Casey and the other teens head outside]
Casey: Come on. So much for family, huh?
[Back with the Turtles...]
Mikey: Now... at exactly what point... did we lose control here?
Donnie: Maybe somebody ought to tell him that we're the good guys.
Raph: Any thoughts?
Leo: I've only got one thought. This guy knows where Splinter is.
[They charge at Shredder.]
Casey: Looks like your boys are going to need a little... Where did he go?
[The turtles fight Shredder. Some of the foot ninjas started to climb up the ladder. Casey heads off and headed to a garbage truck.]
Casey: It's a talent.
[Back with the Turtles...]
Raph: Where's Splinter?
Shredder: [realizes what Raph means] Ah, the rat? So it has a name? [thinking that Splinter's dead; sadistically] It HAD a name.
Leo: [angrily growls; screams] YOU LIE!
Shredder: [smirks] Do I?
[Leo furiously screams and charges toward Shredder, but Shredder flips Leo and points his yari to Leo's neck.]
Shredder: [to Raph, Donnie and Mikey; referring to Leo] He dies. [Raph, Donnie, and Mikey gasp; gestures with his head] Weapons. [Raph, Donnie, and Mikey hesitate] NOW! [Raph, Donnie, and Mikey reluctantly discard their weapons to save Leo.] Fools. [chortles] The three of you might have overpowered me with the loss of but one. Now your fate... WILL BE HIS!!! [holds up his yari and prepares to stab Leo]
Raph, Mikey, and Donnie: [alarmed; pleadingly] NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
[Suddenly, Splinter appears, startling Shredder]
Mikey: [relieved] Splinter!
[Leo, seeing Shredder in shock, rolls away back to the other Turtles.]
Splinter: Yes, Oroku Saki, I know who you are. We met many years ago... in the home of my master, Hamato Yoshi!
[Shredder removes his mask, revealing the scars underneath from their last encounter, revealing him to be Oroku Saki.]
Raph: [referring to the Shredder, known as Oroku Saki] It's him.
Shredder: [absolutely horrified] You. [angrily] Now I will finish what I began with your EAR! [attempts to joust Splinter, but his yari is caught in a nunchaku chain and he is hanging over the edge of a building]
Splinter: Death comes for us all, Oroku Saki, but something much worse comes for you. For when you die, it will be-- [Shredder reaches for the back of his belt, takes out a knife and throws it at Splinter, who dodges and grabs it and, at the same time, releases Shredder, who, while screaming, falls into the garbage truck] --without honor.
Casey: [sarcastically] Oops! 
[He activates the trash compactor with Shredder inside, crushing him. Once Shredder is gone, the turtles reunite with Splinter.]
Splinter, are you okay? Oh, Splinter. Oh, Splinter, we were so worried.
Splinter: Kids.
All right, guys, let's get to it. Brian, it's over. It's over.
Danny: April. April. April, here.
April: Danny. What's this for?
Danny: It's something I owe you. Trust me. Dad.
Charles: Danny? Danny. God, where have you been? I've had the whole city looking for you. Are you all right? Are you okay, Danny?
Danny: It's okay, Dad. I'm okay, really. I'm okay. And Dad? It's just Dan now, okay?
Charles: Dan?
Officer: What have you been up to? I want some stretchers in here. Get some doctors. Don't move. Get those kids. Don't let them get away.
Charles: April, I told you there were circumstances. I really need you to cover this.
April: I don't know, Charles, you know... Did you know that May Williams over at Channel 5 has her own office?
Charles: You can have an office.
April: Yeah, well, she has her own corner office.
Charles: You can have a corner office.
April: Well. She's one of the highest-paid field reporters in New York City.
Charles: Now you are.
April: You are a tough negotiator, Charles.
Officer: All right, I want some answers. Now what in God's name happened out here tonight? Somebody better talk to me.
Teen: Go check out the East Warehouse over at Lairdman Island. You'll get your answers there.
Officer: All right, let's go.
Casey: I've been looking all over for you.
April: Oh, Casey, hi.
Casey: "Hi"? You... I look like I just called Mike Tyson a sissy.
April: Yeah?
Casey: And all you say is hi?
April: What? You don't need an ambulance, do you?
Casey: No, but I was...
April: Will you just shut up and kiss me, okay? I got a report to do.
Casey: I love it when you're pushy.
Nine-point-nine-five. 
All right, April. 
All right, Casey.
Donnie: Yeah, that's the way to go. 
Leo: We were awesome. 
Mikey: Bodacious. 
Yeah. 
Mikey: Gnarly.
Radical. 
Yeah. Totally tubular, dude.
Wicked. 
Hellacious. 
Mega...
Splinter: Ahem. I have always liked... cowabunga.
[The Turtles all consider this and they high-five.]
All: Cowabunga!
Splinter: I made a funny! (laughs)
[The movie ends with the turtles and Splinter cheering over their victory.]
Category:Transcripts
Category:New Line Cinema Transcripts
Category:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles transcripts