No contact

No contact can happen within small towns or people can fly across the world. In a small town e.g. one simply will avoid those who are the ones under No Contact.It's a weird mental illness. You are so self-unaware that's it's harmful to be around you. I'm working on going no contact with my mom. I cannot deal with how broken and inauthentic it is how she sees our story. It's strange how actively harmful it is. She just cannot own up. It just seems impossible, and I guess it is, to be yourself authentically around and in communication with someone like that. They just process reality incorrectly and it will always influence me somehow? It seems the only way is to go no contact to reclaim yourself. I think maybe I can meet her every few years; because she is a very mild narcissist. But if even that brings me down I might have to cut her out entirely. New Agers call a person who is like that low vibe. I'm feeling guilty as I'm writing this "you are abandoning your mother". Non-New agers refer to it as a person who always brings you down or leaves you feeling bad.redditI am looking forward to reclaiming myself even more. Maybe I can even surround myself with people who have a good influence on me.
----For me, I left the country where my parents live. It was a machete solution to something that requires a scalpel, on reflection, but it slowly set me healing. Over a decade later, I’m still not fully recovered but I’ve learned what I need.
I need to a) detach myself from my parents, which includes cutting off from any expectation of connection, support or help from them. Strong boundaries, even though it’s not what I want or what comes naturally to me. And b) build up relationships with people who are emotionally available, so that I have the support network I’ve always needed but never had.
I think a) gets easier when b) is more established. For now, it’s lots of observation and going through the motions. Nothing feels natural so I can’t trust my instincts yet. It’s an entirely new skill for me, but it will get easier when I learn to recognise healthy people and automatically keep a boundary between my intimate self and unhealthy people. Familiarity alone is not enough to entrust my intimate self to.reddit.com