Lisa the Simpson/Quotes

:Lisa: Maybe I can't concentrate because of your cooties.
:Milhouse: It's called lice, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
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:Milhouse: So, Lisa, did you get that brain teaser yet?
:Lisa: For your information, none of your business.
:Milhouse: You look tired. Are you tired, Lisa?
:Lisa: If you're suggesting I stayed up all night trying to solve that childish puzzle... you're right.
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:(Lisa daydreams she is an extremely obese mother of eight small children and so fat she must lie in a hammock.
:The children are poking her with sticks)
:Lisa: Quit it! Quit it! Quit...you kids knock it off! Mama's watching her stories!
:(Ralph walks in wearing a fast food uniform with a weeny on a spring on his hat)
:Ralph: Hi, honey. It's me, your husband Ralph.
:Lisa: Hey, angel pie. Can you drive me down to the "libarry"? I wanna rent us up some movies.
:(Lisa struggles to get up from her hammock and asks for help)
:Lisa: Wesley, get mama's pryin' bar.
:(Wesley gets a boat oar and puts it under Lisa's buttocks and tries to leverage her out of the hammock using his whole body weight)
:Lisa: Easy does it now...easy..a little more.. right...back...the spot...
:(Lisa gets thrown out of the hammock and hits face down on the floor)
:Ralph: I'll get your coat.
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:Ms. Hoover: (regarding Lisa's project) This is terrible at best. I'm surprised at you, Lisa!
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:(While up in the attic, Grampa shows Lisa a picture of Homer after he won his first-grade spelling bee.)
:Lisa: Wow. Dad was a good speller?
:Grampa: Oh, your dad used to be as smart as a monkey, then his mind started gettin' lazy and now he's as dumb as a chimp.
:Lisa: Grampa!
:Grampa: Hey, I am too. And your brother's coming along nicely. Look at Bart's homework. Back when he was your age, he was as smart as a chimp. (opens up a box labeled "Bart". On top of a stack of homework is a paper of Bart's from the second grade. It has a smiley face on it with the comment "Great Work!")
:Lisa: This is just two years ago!
:Grampa: That's right. Then the Simpson genes kick in! (leafs through the paper like an animator's flip book and the smiley faces on the corners of the papers gradually turn into frowns and eventually to a skull and crossbones)
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:Lisa: (to Dr. Hibbert) Isn't there any way to change my DNA, like sitting on the microwave?
:Dr. Hibbert: Not according to any movie I've ever seen.
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:Billy: Mr. McClure, what does DNA stand for?
:(Troy McClure looks at the screen, confused. The video ends.)
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:Homer: This is your great-uncle Chet. Go ahead, Chet. Tell her what you do.
:Chet: I run an unsuccessful shrimp company.
:Homer: Oh. But you run it, right?
:Chet: Oh, yeah.
:Homer: Okay. Uh, this is your second cousin Stanley.
:Stanley: Um, I shoot birds at the airport.
:Homer: Everybody hates birds, right? (to another relative) Well, you look pretty successful.
:Relative: Thanks. I play a millionaire at parties. At least I'd like to.
:Bart: You probably should have researched this first, eh, Dad?
:Homer: What about you?
:Relative: Well, sir, I step in front of cars and sue the drivers.
:Relative: I beg celebrities for money.
:Relative: I'm a prison snitch.
:Relative: Jug band manager.
:Relative: My legs hurt.
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:Marge: Simpson gene?! That's just foolishness!
:Abe: No, baldness too.
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:Lisa: (while writing) Dear log, can it be true? Do all Simpsons go through a process of dumbening? Wait, that's not how you spell dumbening. Wait, dumbening isn't even a word ... hmm, I've got to find out more!
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:Apu: Come one, come all! See the amazing frozen man! Also gaze at the Frito found in a bag of Doritos! Marvel at the floor that just won't come clean!
es:Lisa the Simpson/Frases