Marvel Spotlight (Marvel;Re)/An Unspeakable Christmas

An Unspeakable Christmas is a one-shot comic book and a sequel to The Unspeakable Gwenpool. The issue follows Gwenpool shortly after the events of her previous issue, also taking place after the events of Captain America's Avengers #1, which was her last appearance.
== Synopsis ==
It's Christmas time in the world of Marvel;Re and it's finally the time of good will and loving one another. Or it should be, but it appears that someone is sucking the joy from people's hearts and no one has gotten their presents. Now, it's up to Gwenpool and a ragtag bunch of misfits consisting of herself, the villain turned hero Victorious, the grandfather of Asgard Tiwaz, and her villainous ally Grim Reaper, to find out what's happening and save Christmas.
== Plot ==
A shadowy figure sits in a chair, observing countless monitors in front of him, each of which shows a different part of the world.
* Mysterious Figure: Christmas... A time for the greedy to get what they want. A time for the selfish to get angry when their present isn't right. A time for corporations to milk what should be a holiday of joy. But I suppose it has been a good while since joy was ever a part of Christmas. Now all Christmas is is a time to get the newest phone, or the most expensive pair of shoes. Sickening...
All over the world, children run downstairs only to be greeted by no presents under the trees.
* Child #1: Hey, where're my toys?
* Child #2: Where's my bike?
* Child #3: I thought I asked for games! Where are they?
The figure grits his teeth.
* Mysterious Figure: I hate Christmas...
Smash cut to Gwenpool running through a shop in a festive scarf and Santa hat.
* Gwenpool: I love Christmas!
Gwenpool pushes a cart incredibly fast and puts her feet on the back of it, riding the cart like a scooter. She rides it straight past her friend, Victorious, who is Christmas shopping with her.
* Victorious: I don't think you're allowed to do that.
* Gwenpool: Don't care!
* Victorious: No, seriously, we could get kicked out if you keep doing that.
* Gwenpool: But it's CHRISTMAS! Let me have a bit of fun!
* Victorious: Careful, the cart looks like it's tilting so it might go a bit out of contr--
A loud crash is heard off-panel and the next thing we know, Gwenpool is walking back home with Victorious, band aids all over her face. Victorious carries all of the gifts thanks to her super strength.
* Victorious: I tried to warn you.
* Gwenpool: Eh, whatever, injuries like this never last. I'll be better again in a few jump cuts.
* Victorious: So, who are all of these gifts for exactly?
* Gwenpool: Oh, they're for a whole bunch of dudes. Iron Man, Hulk, Cap, Deadpool, Spi--
* Victorious: Deadpool? I thought you hated him.
* Gwenpool: Yeah, but it's Christmas! We gotta leave stuff like that behind!
* Victorious: Man, you... really like Christmas, don't you?
* Gwenpool: Hell yeah! And what's even better is that because of the weird sliding time of superhero universes, I get to celebrate Christmas multiple times before one year's passed!
* Victorious: I don't know what that means but you seem happy so I'll support it!
* Gwenpool: Hey, what's Christmas in Latveria like in this universe by the way? Just curious.
* Victorious: Oh, it's pretty much the same. You know, gifts, snow, carols, all that stuff. Only it's a little harder to celebrate it since Doom, uh... Doom... kind of... tries to shoot Santa out of the sky whenever he sees him so he can gain the power of his magic sleigh.
* Gwenpool: Yeah, that sounds like something he'd do.
The two finally arrive at Victorious' apartment flat and walk inside. Grim Reaper stands in the hallway waiting for them, holding a Christmas present.
* Grim Reaper: Surprise!
* Victorious: AAH!!
* Grim Reaper: AAH!!
Victorious's hands light up with energy, dropping the presents, and Grim Reaper readies his scythe arm. However, Gwenpool leaps between the two before they can fight.
* Gwenpool: Wait, wait, wait! This isn't what either of you think it is!
* Victorious: What are you talking about!? That's Grim Reaper! He's from Hydra!
* Gwenpool: Yeah, but he's my friend!
* Victorious: ...What?
* Gwenpool: We got to know each other when I first came to this world. He's a pretty chill guy underneath the grim and gritty persona!
Victorious allows the energy in her hands to stop flowing.
* Victorious: Okay, well... it's... Well, it's not nice to meet you, but I guess I'll try to keep an open mind.
* Grim Reaper: Likewise. Apologies for startling you, I was told this was where Gwen lived, I had no clue she had a roommate.
* Victorious: Actually, we don't live together. This is my flat and she bums on the couch from time to time.
* Gwenpool: Sad but true.
* Victorious: How did you get in here, by the way?
* Grim Reaper: I broke in.
Victorious awkwardly stares at him.
* Grim Reaper: Oh, come on, you and I both know that that's the least illegal thing I've done in my entire life.
* Gwenpool: What brings you here anyway?
* Grim Reaper: Well, it's Christmas, so I thought I'd get you a little something!
Grim Reaper holds out his Christmas present.
* Gwenpool: Oh, funny coincidence! I got you something too!
Gwen pulls out her own Christmas present. The two hand their gifts to each other and open them out, large grins on their faces. However, the smiles then stop after opening the boxes.
* Victorious: What?
* Gwenpool: This is an empty box.
* Grim Reaper: What? No, that's not possible. I swear there should be something in there.
* Gwenpool: Well, what about your present?
* Grim Reaper: Mine... is empty as well.
* Gwenpool: No way! I definitely got you something, man! Something you'd love!
* Grim Reaper: What is going on?
* Gwenpool: Victorious, turn on the news to see what's happening.
* Victorious: Why would the news be reporting on this?
* Gwenpool: This is a fiction story, the news is always reporting on something that moves the plot along.
* Victorious: Uh... okay.
Victorious turns the TV on and flips to the news channel.
* News Reporter: It's a sad Christmas day for people all over the world, as the presents that friends and family alike bought each other have gone missing. Countless children have been left in tears, countless adults have been disheartened, and no one is happy. It truly feels as if Saint Nicholas has skipped Christmas this year...
The news reporter looks to the ground, sadness in his eyes as red smoke begins emitting from his body.
* Grim Reaper: What's going on...?
Gwenpool turns to look out a window and her eyes widen in horror. Grim Reaper and Victorious both look out the window with her and are horrified to see red smoke billowing all throughout the city, floating up into the sky and swirling around in a cloud so massive it covers all of New York.
* Victorious: What the hell is that stuff?
* Gwenpool: I don't know, but we gotta find out.
Gwenpool, Victorious, and Grim Reaper wander through the streets of New York. Everywhere they go, they're greeted by another sad face. Everyone is so sad that they're unable to even get basic tasks done, such as opening their car door.
* Gwenpool: How is everybody this sad?
* Grim Reaper: Their Christmas Joy is completely gone.
* Victorious: This is so sad. It's even bringing me down...
Some red smoke begins emitting from Victorious. However, Gwenpool bats the smoke away with her hand.
* Gwenpool: No! No, no, no! None of that! Happy thoughts, think happy thoughts!
* Victorious: O-okay, I'll try.
* Gwenpool: You won't try, you will!
* Grim Reaper: How do we fix what's going on here? There's some kind of force ripping the Christmas Joy from people. How do you fight against an invisible force...?
* Gwenpool: Simple: You find the source of it!
* Grim Reaper: Okay... how?
* Victorious: I found it.
* Grim Reaper: Excuse me?
Victorious points up at the red cloud.
* Victorious: You know how that smoke cloud is shaped like a circle? Well, there's actually something in the middle of the cloud that it's circling. That's probably the cause of it.
* Gwenpool: How... would you know that?
Victorious points at her eyes.
* Victorious: Super eyes! I can see stuff from miles away!
* Grim Reaper: Now how do we get up?
* Victorious: Do... do you not know anything about me?
* Grim Reaper: What do you mean?
* Victorious: Have you ever heard of me before?
* Grim Reaper: I've heard you're an Avenger. Why?
Victorious smiles. The next thing we see is her flying incredibly fast through the air while Gwenpool tags along on her back and she carries Grim Reaper, who is screaming his head off.
* Victorious: Can you be a little bit more quiet, please?
* Grim Reaper: NO! I REFUSE!!
The mysterious figure continues to look at the screens in front of him. One of the screens begins making a loud noise and he turns to it, seeing Victorious, Gwenpool, and Grim Reaper flying on it.
* Mysterious Figure: So, they're heading towards me, are they? Well, I can fix that...
He pushes a couple of buttons and a metal box is shot out the bottom of his base.
* Mysterious Figure: Merry Christmas. Here's my present, from me to you...
Meanwhile, Victorious continues flying while carrying the other two.
* Grim Reaper: Are you sure you actually saw something? We've been flying for a good while and we're still not there.
* Victorious: I guess it was a lot higher up than I thought.
* Gwenpool: Well, we're probably almost there.
The metal box slams straight into them and sends them crashing back to the ground. The three manage to get back on their feet.
* Grim Reaper: Oh, wonderful, look forward to starting that journey all over again...
* Victorious: What the hell hit us...?
* Gwenpool: Uh... well, it appears to be a giant Christmas present.
* Victorious: Wait, what?
The three look and see that the metal box is indeed painted like a giant Christmas present. Victorious walks up to it and puts her ear up to it to hear if there's anything going on inside. She gently knocks on the box. Seconds later, whatever is in the box punches right next to her head, leaving a giant fist-shaped indent.
* Victorious: Uh-oh...
She steps away from the box as the thing inside continues trying to punch its way out, leaving dents with each punch.
* Gwenpool: What the hell...?
The thing in the box explodes out of the top and dramatically lands in front of the three, though its landing is so powerful it creates a massive crater and dust billows around it. The three all look on, terrified, as the figure marches slowly towards them. Eventually, the dust clears up, revealing the figure appears to be a very festive redesign of the Destroyer armor, complete with red and green color scheme, Christmas lights wrapped all over its body which flash different colors, a headband with reindeer antlers attached, and a wreath around its neck.
* Grim Reaper: ...Huh... You know, I don't know what I expected... but I don't think I expected that...
* Victorious: You know, the Destroyer armor looks kinda cute like that.
The Christmas Destroyer, out of nowhere, rushes at Victorious and punches her in the stomach so hard that spit flies out of her mouth. It then pulls back and allows her to drop on the ground. She clutches her stomach while the Destroyer itself gets into a fighting position.
* Victorious: Okay... I take it back... not cute anymore...
Gwenpool pulls out her katanas and jumps at the Destroyer.
* Gwenpool: Nobody hurts my friends, you piece of--
The Destroyer raises its arm, allowing Gwenpool's swords to slice at his forearm, completely shattering them. Gwen then lands on the ground after her jump, staring at her broken swords.
* Gwenpool: Oh... Oh no...
The Destroyer hikes up its leg, ready to bring its foot down on Gwenpool. However, Victorious manages to shake off the pain in her gut just in time to grab the Destroyer's foot as he's bringing it down. The two struggle for a while, Victorious a good portion of her strength to keep its foot away while the Destroyer attempts to crush both her and Gwenpool. Eventually, Victorious wins the struggle and pushes the Destroyer's leg back, causing it to trip and crash against the ground. Victorious then helps Gwenpool off the floor.
* Victorious: You alright?
* Gwenpool: I've had better days, not gonna lie.
The Destroyer instantly stands back up, charging up its energy beam.
* Grim Reaper: Hey!!
The Destroyer turns and sees Grim Reaper standing directly in front of it. Reaper's scythe arm charges up an energy blast of its own, which Reaper explodes in the Destroyer's face. Grim Reaper then instantly charges up another blast and explodes that one as well. He continues doing this over and over again, not allowing the Destroyer to have a moment of rest.
* Grim Reaper: My scythe's blasts pack a punch equal to 100 stacks of dynamite exploding at the same time. Time to find out how many stacks of dynamite it takes to blow up the Destroyer!
The Destroyer grabs Grim Reaper's scythe arm. Grim Reaper's face suddenly goes blank upon realizing what just happened.
* Grim Reaper: ...Mercy?
The Destroyer charges the energy in its head once again, ready to fire it out of its eye slits. However, Gwenpool sneaks up behind it and grabs its head, forcing it to look up and fire its blast into the sky instead. It continues firing while attempting to look down and disintegrate Grim Reaper.
* Gwenpool: GODDAMNIT, MY LIFE IS FREAKIN' TORTURE!!
The Destroyer stops firing its beam and grabs Gwenpool off of its back, lifting her up by the head. It then lets go of Grim Reaper's scythe arm and punches Gwenpool in the stomach so hard she instantly spits up some blood. It readies another punch but the Destroyer is punched in the head itself by Victorious, sending it flying and forcing it to drop Gwenpool. Victorious then drops to her knees, grabbing the hand she used to punch the Destroyer.
* Victorious: I think I broke a knuckle while punching that thing...
* Gwenpool: It's so freakin' strong...
* Grim Reaper: Please tell me you beat it cause I'm pretty sure no amount of dynamite can actually destroy it.
The Destroyer stands back up.
* Gwenpool: Oh God... We can't beat this thing... There's only one option left...
Gwenpool stands up, the wind dramatically blowing around her, the sun shining just behind her head, and a determined look on her face.
* Gwenpool: Deux ex machina!
* Destroyer: ?
A man in a red and white coat suddenly comes out of nowhere and decapitates the Destroyer with what appears to be a magic axe. The man then turns around, revealing his bearded face and friendly smile.
* Jolly Old Man: Afternoon!
* Victorious: Whoa...
* Grim Reaper: Is that...?
* Gwenpool: Santa Claus!
The old man gets ready to say something but stops, his smiling dropping as well.
* Tiwaz: Santa... what? No. Why would you think that? My name is Buri, though I also answer to Tiwaz.
* Gwenpool: Oh. Well, that's slightly disappointing.
* Tiwaz: What made you think I was Santa?
* Gwenpool: Well, you've got the beard, and the red coat and everything.
* Tiwaz: I actually don't wear red very often. I thought I'd shake it up for a while.
* Victorious: You really do look a lot like Santa Claus...
* Tiwaz: I'm not Santa Claus! I'm the first Asgardian and the grandfather of Thor!
* Gwenpool: Wait, really? Then why're you here?
* Tiwaz: Because a terrible tragedy has occurred... someone is trying to destroy Christmas...
* Grim Reaper: And they called... you for that...? 
* Tiwaz: When Christmas is on the line, you bring out the big guns.
*Victorious: So, Mr. Tiwaz, do you know who exactly who is trying to destroy Christmas?
*Tiwaz: No, but I have a hunch.
*Victorious: What's your hunch?
*Tiwaz: Well, it... no, nevermind, it's too out-there. Let's just go and find out who sent this Destroyer copy.
*Grim Reaper: Copy?
*Tiwaz: Oh, yes. The actual Destroyer is far more powerful than that thing. More than likely, the Destroyer you fought is just a mass-produced copy made by the mastermind of this plan to be his henchmen.
*Gwenpool: Oh... so there's more... sweet...
*Tiwaz: Fear not. For now you have me on your side! Let us go!
Tiwaz pulls out a large sack.
* Tiwaz: This magic bag will allow me to carry all of you at once while we make our way up to the thing draining people's Christmas joy!
* Gwenpool: You have a magic sack that can hold anything inside of it... and you're not Santa Claus?
* Tiwaz: No! Stop asking me that!
* Gwenpool: Whatever you say, man.
The three heroes all crawl inside of Tiwaz's magic sack. When they're all inside, Tiwaz throws the sack over his shoulder. Tiwaz then puts his finger on the side of his nose and nods, shooting up into the sky. Meanwhile, the mysterious figure hears another alarm.
* Mysterious Figure: Another nuisancce?
He turns and sees Tiwaz flying towards him on one of his monitors.
* Mysterious Figure: Wha...? You... No matter. I know exactly how to deal with you.
The mysterious figure launches more metal Christmas boxes at Tiwaz. Tiwaz flies straight through the first, blowing it to pieces, and then goes out of his way to fly through the rest, blowing them apart too.
* Mysterious Figure: Hm... he may actually be able to make it here. I guess that means my friends and I will have to take care of him personally...
Tiwaz continues flying through the air until he reaches the source of the red smoke.
* Tiwaz: Finally... we're here.
The source is revealed to be a giant spaceship shaped like and painted to look like a Candy Cane.
* Tiwaz: The Magical Spaceship of the Candy Cane Kingdom...
* Grim Reaper (from inside sack): This has been a very weird day...
Tiwaz lands on top of the Magical Spaceship of the Candy Cane Kingdom and places his sack down, allowing the three to get out of it.
* Victorious: Wow, it was super spacious in there.
* Gwenpool: How the hell does that thing work?
* Tiwaz: It's the home of a pocket dimension. Both it and the dimension were created for me by my elven servants as a gift.
* Gwenpool: You have elves that work for you and make gifts and you're still convinced that you're not Santa Claus...?
* Tiwaz: Yes! Now, follow me. This is the only entrance to the Magical Spaceship of the Candy Cane Kingdom.
Tiwaz walks over to what is quite obviously a chimney.
* Tiwaz: The fall's deep but don't worry, you're in no risk of being injured.
Tiwaz drops down the chimney.
* Tiwaz: Ho ho ho!
* Gwenpool: Oh, you're kidding me!
Tiwaz hits the bottom of the chimney and rolls the moment he lands, getting back up very quickly. Meanwhile, Gwenpool and Grim Reaper smash on the ground and land on top of each other behind him. Victorious gently floats down and stands on top of them.
* Gwenpool: Wish I had some goddamn superpowers...
Gwenpool and Grim Reaper get up.
* Grim Reaper: How did we not break anything from that drop?
* Gwenpool: Same reason none of us died while fighting the Christmas Destroyer back there. We're main characters. Can't put us out of commission.
* Grim Reaper: What does that...?
* Victorious: Hey, what's this stuff?
Victorious kneels down to the ground, which is covered in strange rainbow powder. Tiwaz also kneels down to it and sweeps some up with his finger. He looks at it for a bit and puts his finger in his mouth.
* Victorious: Ew...
Tiwaz's eyes widen and he takes his finger out his mouth.
* Tiwaz: Magic dust. But that means...
A golden arrow is shot out of the darkness and flies towards Tiwaz. However, Tiwaz catches the arrow mid-air moments before it hits him. He then licks the arrow tip.
* Victorious: Oh God, seriously...?
* Tiwaz: An arrow completely coated in magic dust. That means that...
Countless golden arrows fly out towards the four. However, Tiwaz jumps in front of every arrow that is about to hit one of the three, allowing himself to be shot in order to save them. After being shot so many times, he just stands there for a bit.
* Gwenpool: Uh... are you okay?
* Tiwaz: I'm fine.
* Victorious: How did those arrows manage to hurt you?
* Tiwaz: Even the likes of I aren't immune to the affects of magic dust.
* Grim Reaper: How are you remaining so calm while there's literal arrows sticking out of you?
* Tiwaz: I'm suppressing the pain as much as I can but, trust me, I am screaming on the inside.
* Gwenpool: You can just, like, ignore pain? Damn, you're pretty badass.
* Tiwaz: Thank you. But you should admire me later. First, let's find out where the people shooting at us are.
* Victorious: Got it.
Victorious' arm lights up and she fires a blast into the air, lighting up the area and revealing an army of hundreds of men and woman in red and white hoods standing on railings above them while wielding bows, arrows, and swords. The four just stand there in silence.
* Gwenpool: Oh crap.
The lights in the room turn on and the hooded people leap down into action. However, before they reach them, Tiwaz punches the air and the shockwave from his punch sends them flying back. In spite of this, they all manage to land perfectly fine on the ground and run towards the heroes (and Grim Reaper). A massive battle breaks out, with everybody doing their best to fend off the attacking hooded people. Gwen pulls out a new pair of swords from nowhere and starts slicing, Grim Reaper both slices and causes explosions that send them flying, Tiwaz tears through the army with his axe, and Victorious throws blasts and punches in every direction. Victorious manages to knock one of the men's hoods off, revealing he has platinum blond hair and pointy ears.
* Victorious: What in the...?
The man attempts to stab Victorious but she snaps his sword and punches him in the head, knocking him unconscious. She then turns to the others.
* Victorious: Hey, guys? Uh... These are Elves.
* Grim Reaper: Excuse me?
* Gwenpool: What?
* Tiwaz: I knew it.
Tiwaz tosses his axe in the air and slams his fists together, causing another shockwave that knocks the Elves away from him. Tiwaz's axe then drops down and he catches it. He then turns to the Elves.
* Tiwaz: I knew that my suspicions were correct the moment that I found that magic dust. The only people able to create enough magic dust to coat that many arrows are Elves. But I didn't expect it to be Light Elves... What madness has overcome you to turn you the way you are?
* Light Elf #1: We are not the mad ones, Aesir.
* Light Elf #2: Our minds have finally been awoken to the truth.
* Light Elf #3: We worked ourselves half to death to make gifts for those who deserve it.
* Light Elf #4: And now we realize...
* Light Elf #5: None of them deserved it...
* Gwenpool: "Gifts for those who deserve it"? You guys are talking like you're... Wait... No, there's no way...
* Light Elf #6: But there is.
* Every Light Elf: We are the Light Elves of the North Pole. And all naughtiness shall be destroyed by our hands!
* Grim Reaper: This is the literal stupidest day of my life...
*Victorious: So, which of you is the leader? 
*Tiwaz: None of them are the leader.
*Victorious: What?
Tiwaz turns away from the Light Elves and begins talking to the room in general.
* Tiwaz: I've figured it out! I know the truth! Show yourself, you bastard!
The mysterious figure watches Tiwaz screaming at him from his monitor. However, he doesn't move at all or say anything about Tiwaz's request.
* Tiwaz: You refuse to face me and are content sending your underlings to combat me? How cowardly.
The mysterious figure grits his teeth in anger and slams his fist down on a button labeled "Kill Them All". Suddenly, several metal Christmas presents drop down and crash on to the floor. The presents all open up, revealing a small army of Christmas Destroyers.
* Tiwaz: Oh, you think this will stop me!? I've defeated them before!
One last metal Christmas present, the biggest of them all, crashes down. The present opens up, revealing a half-man half-deer creature curled up in a ball on the inside. It slowly stands up, revealing it's absolutely massive size. Bells are draped across its body and Christmas tree ornaments are hung from its antlers. A tag hanging off a collar on its neck reveals it's name to be "Sweetheart". Sweetheart slowly looks up at the four with its cold, dead eyes and reveals its decaying face. Sweetheart then grits its teeth before letting out a loud screech, which strikes fear into the four but causes the Light Elves to grin sadistically.
* Victorious: What in the absolute hell is that thing...?
* Tiwaz: That's Sweetheart... He's quite possibly the scariest thing I've ever encountered... And he appears to be very... very angry.
Sweetheart sprints towards the group, picking up more and more speed until he starts running on all-fours. When he reaches them, he grabs Tiwaz and drags him across the floor before slamming him into a wall. Doing so pushes the arrows in Tiwaz's back even deeper, though all this results in is a minor grunt from Tiwaz. The Christmas Destroyers also charge in for Gwenpool, Victorious, and Grim Reaper, who dodge their attacks instead of fighting them. Sweetheart then attempts to eat Tiwaz but Tiwaz punches him in his arm so hard that it causes the bone in Sweetheart's forearm to break and pop out. Tiwaz also manages to escape his grip thanks to this and uses his superhuman speed to run over to the other three.
* Grim Reaper: Hey, can you do something about those Christmas Destroyers?
Tiwaz attempts to swing around and cut off a Christmas Destroyer's head but drops to the ground.
* Tiwaz: The arrows in my back are making it hard to move. Can one of you pull them out for me so that I can regenerate the wounds? One of you will have to fend them off in the mean time though. And also, one of us will have to find and confront the Light Elves' leader while the rest stay behind and fight.
* Victorious: I'll fight them. Grim Reaper, you pull the arrows out.
* Grim Reaper: What? Why me?
* Victorious: Because I'm stronger than you.
Grim Reaper opens his mouth and attempts to argue but closes his mouth moments later and pulls out one the arrows in Tiwaz's back. Victorious then flies off into the fight.
* Gwenpool: So, what do I do then?
* Tiwaz: You're the one who'll have to confront the leader. Thank goodness too, I was hoping it'd be you.
* Gwenpool: How the hell do I reach him?
Tiwaz grabs Gwenpool and tosses her into the air with her screaming while she flies off.
* Grim Reaper: ...Was that safe?
* Tiwaz: I'm sure she'll be fine.
Sweetheart suddenly rises up behind Tiwaz and Grim Reaper. He pops his bone back into his arm and his forearm instantly regenerates. He starts growling while Grim Reaper and Tiwaz stare at him with a combination of shock and fear.
* Tiwaz: You should probably start pulling those arrows out now...
Gwenpool continues flying through the air, still screaming. Eventually, she reaches the top but smacks against the ceiling, hits against some railings, flies up and hits the ceiling of a hallway, and then hits against the ground again.
* Gwenpool: Ow.
She gets back up, rubbing her back and looks around.
* Gwenpool: Now, where is the leader man...?
She spots a green glowing light at the end of the hallway and a sign hanging in the middle of the hallway that reads "The Boss" with an arrow pointing down the hallway.
* Gwenpool: Huh, convenient.
Gwenpool walks down the hallway. When she eventually reaches the end, the walls beside her open up, revealing very creepy-looking and poorly put together Christmas Elf animatronics.
* Animatronics: ♬Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn't go? Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn't go? Up on the housetop, click, click, click! Down through the chimney with good--♬
They all simultaneously catch on fire and start melting. Gwenpool just watches, unable to decide how to react. A woman in a red hood then walks over to her.
* Hooded Woman: Oh crap, not again.
* Gwenpool: What the hell was that about?
* Hooded Woman: Sorry, we like to show people a show before they meet the head of our little group. Unfortunately, we accidentally made the animatronics such abominations that they keep trying to kill themselves.
* Gwenpool: So they... caught themselves on fire...?
* Hooded Woman: Precisely. Now...
The hooded woman takes her hood off, revealing her incredibly beautiful face and perfect hair.
* Beautiful Woman: My husband's been expecting you. Follow me and I'll take you to him.
Gwenpool looks at the woman with a gaping maw and wide eyes, not saying anything.
* Beautiful Woman: Come, now.
She puts her hand on Gwenpool's shoulder and walks off with her.
* Gwenpool: Oooh, the hot woman's touching me. That's normal. This is normal.
The woman leads Gwenpool down the rest of the hallway and into a large room which has countless monitors in it, each of which displays a different part of the world. In the center of the room sits the mysterious figure and the mastermind of the comic's events.
* Gwenpool: Why're you watching so many people? What's the point of... oh... I get it...
The mysterious figure starts turning his chair around.
* Gwenpool: The one behind all of this. I should have figured it out when the North Pole Elves showed up. But now that I've seen all these monitors in your room, I've pieced it all together. Because he sees you when you're sleeping... he knows when you're awake...
The figure spins his chair completely around.
* Gwenpool: You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why...
The figure leans back in his chair and his full appearance is finally shown.
* Santa Claus: Santa Claus is coming to town!
* Gwenpool: I can't believe I didn't figure it out soo-- wait a minute...
Gwen turns to the woman.
* Gwenpool: Does that mean you're Mrs. Claus?
Mrs. Claus nods. Gwenpool recoils in disgust and a shiver goes up her back.
* Gwenpool: Oh God... but you're so hot... but you're Mrs. Claus... but you're so hot... but you're Mrs. Claus...!!
Gwenpool slaps herself.
* Gwenpool: Okay... okay... Regathering my thoughts...
Gwenpool's face once again turns serious.
* Gwenpool: Why did you do it, Santa?! You're the embodiment of joy and good will! Plus it's Christmas! You're meant to be down there, giving gifts to everybody!
* Santa Claus: Christmas? To hell with Christmas and to hell with you! The people down there don't treat Christmas as a time of happiness or good will anymore! To them, it's just a way of getting the next... whatever! It's a time of greed and pride! They sell Christmas gifts and decorations as early as September, for God's sake! They don't deserve their presents and they don't deserve their Christmas Joy! From hence forward...
A giant scroll with a list of names on it appears behind him.
* Santa Claus: EVERYBODY IS ON THE NAUGHTY LIST!
Gwenpool looks at the Naughty List and is horrified upon seeing both her and Victorious' names on it. However, she quickly shakes off the shock and pulls out her blades.
* Gwenpool: I won't let you destroy Christmas for everyone! I mean, how hard could it be to beat an old bastard like you!?
Santa stands up and unbuttons his jacket, revealing he is both 12-feet-tall and shredded.
* Gwenpool: Oh... Huh.
Santa crouches into a fighting pose and starts moving so fast he can't be seen. He makes his way towards Gwenpool and attempts to spin kick her but she manages to block his attack with her swords. He continues to use his immense speed to attack Gwenpool, throwing several punches and kicks, all of which are blocked by Gwen. Eventually, Santa gives up and takes a short break.
* Santa Claus: Interesting... My speed is so great that I'm able to travel all across several countries in one night and deliver presents to every house in the world. How are you able to keep up with me?
* Gwenpool: I can't keep up with you at all. Right now I'm just using my main character shields to stay alive.
* Santa Claus: Ho ho ho! Clever girl...
* Gwenpool: Wait, you actually understand what I'm talking about?
* Santa Claus: Of course I do! I'm Santa Claus!
* Gwenpool: Oh my God, I thought I'd never meet another fourth-wall breaker! I was so tempted to go back and talk to Deadpool just so I can have somebody who'd understand what the hell I'm actually saying! Oh, wait, nevermind, it's just now dawning on me that the only other fourth-wall breaker I've met is a villain who I'll probably have to put in jail... crap...
* Santa Claus: Yes, it's a true pity. I, too was hoping to meet another wall-breaker. A shame that our meeting must end in one of us dying...
Santa once again attempts to attack Gwenpool, who continues blocking his punches and kicks. Eventually, she manages to back hand one of his punches, throwing him off-balance and allowing her to finally try and stab him. However, Santa headbutts her sword and completely shatters it.
* Gwenpool: ...Well, I'll be damned. That just happened... You know what's weird? This is the third sword I've broken today. I mean, I know I have Hammerspace but, like, I can't fully break this world's physics. I actually have to buy these swords to put them in Hammerspace. I swear, I'm gonna, like, freakin' run out eventually...
Santa smacks Gwenpool's other sword out of her hand and picks her up by the arms with only one hand. He then reaches towards her, readying to do something to her.
* ???: Stop right there!
Santa turns and sees Victorious floating in the air. Following shortly after her, Grim Reaper enters the room riding on top of Sweetheart.
* Grim Reaper: THIS IS AMAZING!!!
* Santa Claus: So... you managed to defeat and tame Sweetheart. Impressive. Although, both of you are still mere humans. I doubt you'd be able to tame the untamable beast all by yourselves. Who helped you?
* Tiwaz: I did...
* Santa Claus: Hm...!?
Tiwaz steps into the room and both he and Santa stare each other down.
* Tiwaz: Merry Christmas. It's been a good while since I last saw your face... Jolfaor. Although, I suppose you'd prefer to go by the name Santa Claus now?
* Santa Claus: I've heard you've also went through a name change, Buri. I did it first just so you know. Though I suppose it was always like you to copy me... brother.
* Victorious: Brother?
* Grim Reaper: Santa Claus is your brother?!
* Gwenpool: This answers so many questions and yet raises a million more.
* Santa Claus: So, brother, I suppose you're here to put an end to my war against Christmas?
* Tiwaz: Why else would I be--
Tiwaz suddenly notices Mrs. Claus and is awe struck by her. Noticing this, Mrs. Claus shyly steps back before smiling and waving at him.
* Tiwaz: Um... hello.
* Mrs. Claus: Hi!
* Tiwaz: ...Merry Christmas.
* Mrs. Claus: Yes it is. Or, I mean, it would be but... well, my husband is currently trying to destroy it.
* Tiwaz: Right, right, sorry.
* Mrs. Claus: No, no, it's fine. It actually feels nice to hear someone say "merry Christmas" to me again... So, um... are you also married?
* Tiwaz: Yes. I mean, no. I mean... I was. My bride, she was a Frost Giantess. She passed away just a couple of millennia ago.
* Mrs. Claus: Oh, you're a widower... I'm so sorry.
* Tiwaz: Thank you. You know, she acted a lot like you. She was very kind to everyone she met. She also looked a lot like you too. Only, well...
* Mrs. Claus: Bigger?
* Tiwaz: Much bigger.
Tiwaz and Mrs. Claus share a laugh. Everybody looks on in confusion.
* Santa Claus: ...What the Hel is happening?
* Gwenpool: Ah, old people falling in love. Is there any cuter a romance than that?
* Santa Claus: What're you on about? She's my wife.
* Victorious: Well, honestly, it doesn't really seem like she supports the whole "destroy Christmas" thing, guy.
* Santa Claus: Of course she does! Right, honey?
* Mrs. Claus: Hm? Oh, uh... y... yes.
* Santa Claus: That wasn't a very confident yes.
* Mrs. Claus: Yes, of course I do, down with Christmas, everyone is naughty and all that.
* Santa Claus: ...Okay... Well... t-toss me my weapon!
Mrs. Claus sighs and pulls out a spear painted like a Candy Cane and tosses it at Santa, who catches it. He attempts to stab Gwen with it but Tiwaz uses his axe to block the spear and then punches his brother in the face, sending him flying and forcing him to let go of Gwen. Tiwaz then helps Gwenpool off the floor.
* Tiwaz: You doing okay?
* Gwenpool: I hit my butt while falling there but I guess I'm fine.
* Tiwaz: Good. Now... I can't beat him.
* Gwenpool: What?
* Tiwaz: He may be madder than a hatter but he's still the embodiment of Christmas. I can't beat him without erasing Christmas. I need someone else to embody Christmas Joy so that I can fight him without risking Christmas's safety. You love Christmas more than anyone I've ever met. I need you to absorb the cloud of Christmas Joy outside
* Gwenpool: How?
* Tiwaz: Just accept it into yourself. If you are worthy then it will choose you.
* Gwenpool: Wait, it's sentient...?
Tiwaz points at Victorious and Grim Reaper.
* Tiwaz: You two! Fight with me! Victorious' strength will come in handy and Grim Reaper's new pet will definitely help me in the battle!
* Grim Reaper: Sweetheart is not my pet, he is my friend!
* Tiwaz: My point still stands! Now, let us head out!
Tiwaz, Victorious and Grim Reaper riding Sweetheart head out to continue the battle against Santa Claus.
* Gwenpool: Wait, I still have a lot of questions!
Santa Claus gets back up, recovering from Tiwaz's punch. He sees the three leaping at him and jumps towards them himself, his and Tiwaz's fists colliding mid-air with so much force that all of the monitors and windows in the room shatter. Gwenpool runs over to one of the newly shattered windows and looks out at the red clouds.
* Gwenpool: Okay, uh... Christmas Joy! Come to me!
She spreads her arms and closes her eyes, attempting to accept the clouds of Christmas Joy. Nothing happens.
* Gwenpool: Yo, come on! Move it!
A whole battle takes place behind Gwenpool while she does nothing but stand there, waiting for the Christmas Joy to accept her.
* Gwenpool: My friends are in danger and I've gotta save Christmas! Get in my body so that I can have a superhero moment!
Nothing happens.
* Gwenpool: Oh, come on! What's going on right now!? Is this a Thor thing?! Do I have to, like, prove I'm worthy!? A freakin' god told me that nobody loves Christmas more than me! Is that not good enough!?
* Santa Claus: I can tell you what's wrong...
Gwenpool turns to face Santa, who blasts straight through both Tiwaz and Victorious, sending them flying to get to Gwen.
* Santa Claus: It's because it knows you're just like them!
* Gwenpool: What?
* Santa Claus: Just like all the naughty ones down there! You don't actually love Christmas, you love the presents you get on it! Nobody treats Christmas as a time of joy and love anymore! Not even the ones who claim to love it the most! That's why no one deserves presents! No one deserves Christmas Joy! No one deserves milk, cookies, Christmas dinner, eggnog, or me! No one deserves Christmas!
Grim Reaper, out of nowhere, leaps out of the shadows riding Sweetheart and tries to attack Santa Claus, who chucks his spear through Sweetheart's chest and then magically pulls his spear back through the air, with it cutting through Sweetheart's neck and cutting his head off. Grim Reaper is also thrown off Sweetheart, whose head lands beside him.
* Grim Reaper: ...Sweetheart...?
Grim Reaper crawls over to the still living head of Sweetheart. He puts his hands on Sweetheart's forehead as he weakly breaths while looking up at him.
* Sweetheart: ...Friend...
Sweetheart finally dies in front of Grim Reaper, who closes his new friend's eyes and solemnly gets up. Gwenpool watches Reaper with sadness in her eyes before her sadness transforms into determination.
* Gwenpool: You know, Santa Claus... You suck.
* Santa Claus: Pardon me?
* Gwenpool: You really suck. Yeah, people mainly focus on the whole gift giving part of Christmas and yeah, people keep making Christmas more and more corporate, but so what? You can't blame Christmas as a whole for what those stupid corporations do and giving gifts makes people feel loved! People stress about getting the right gift because getting gifts makes people feel like they're loved and appreciated in the world!
While she's talking, the Christmas Joy smoke flies through the window and begins billowing around her. Eventually, it manages to completely engulf her and she begins glowing so bright that everyone covers their eyes. Santa is the first to uncover his eyes and is greeted by Gwenpool who is glowing red and has had a Christmas make-over, complete with red and green coloring (as oppose to her usual pink and white).
* Gwenpool: The presents people give each other represent their love and joy. And the fact you can't see that shows that you don't even know what Christmas is about anymore...
Santa grits his teeth and attempts to stab Gwenpool with his spear. However, she instantly grabs his spear and shatters it with her bare hand. She then gently smacks him in the chest with a flat palm and instantly launches him into a wall. Santa manages to get back up and looks at Gwenpool. When it cuts back to him, she's suddenly standing behind him and slams him into the ground. She then kicks him into the air and then uses her newfound speed to appear in front of him and smack him down to the ground before again appear on the floor and punching him away. She continues to smack him around the room before launching him into the shattered monitors, which all explode around him. Santa lies on the ground and attempts to crawl away but Gwenpool once again appears in front of him.
* Santa Claus: Such strength... what are you...? What will you become...?
* Gwenpool: It wouldn't be very Christmas-y to eliminate you while you're on the ground. So I'll give you a final chance. Leave and never return. If you do come back, what I do next will be your own fault.
* Santa Claus: Ho ho ho... Thank you for showing mercy...
Santa Claus suddenly gets up and back flips through the air and lands on top of his sleigh.
* Santa Claus: But I don't need it! I'm Santa Claus!!
The sleigh crashes straight through the ceiling and flies away. Tiwaz, Victorious, and Grim Reaper all huddle up beside Gwenpool.
* Victorious: He's getting away!
* Tiwaz: No, he isn't...
* Victorious: What do you me--
It's revealed Gwenpool is gone.
* Tiwaz: Go, my friend... save Christmas...
Santa's sleigh flies at top-speed through the air and he slumps over on it.
* Santa Claus: So... I lost... What a shame. But, as the old saying goes, "he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day". You know, now that I think about it, I probably should have picked up my wife as well... Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine. Next Christmas, I'll be back. And I will--
Santa is suddenly picked up by the throat by Gwenpool, who levitates in the air staring at him while his sleigh continues to fly off without him.
* Santa Claus: ...Mercy?
* Gwenpool: I already showed some. You rejected it. I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to you, Santa Claus. And I'm also sorry that you were so easily corrupted. I truly hope that, in your next life, you'll be good.
* Santa Claus: Oh, for goodness sake...
Gwenpool's power blasts through her hand, completely destroying Santa Claus and causing him to explode into light. All over the world, the bright light can be seen as we get cameos from many of the other Marvel;Re characters, such as Tony and Pepper holding their daughter Morgan up to see the light and Captain America and his Avengers eating at a restaurant while admiring the light. Tiwaz, Victorious, and Grim Reaper can also see the light.
* Victorious: That's beautiful...
* Tiwaz: I know. Oddly enough but yes, it's quite stunning.
* Grim Reaper: I'm pretty sure that's Santa dying so it's a little weird to be admiring it.
Gwenpool appears in front of them, still glowing.
* Victorious: Gwen, how'd it go?
* Gwenpool: The day is saved and the evil Santa Claus has been vanquished. Now, I shall return the joy and presents he stole from the masses.
Gwenpool allows the power to leave her body and all over the world, the joy and presents return to the masses. Gwenpool's Christmas transformation also wears off and she reverts back to normal. She stands there with a serious expression for a few moments before suddenly slamming on to the floor.
* Grim Reaper: ...Is she dead?
She gets back up and starts looking around the room, slightly afraid.
* Gwenpool: Hey, uh... why can't I remember the past thirty minutes of my life...?
* Victorious: You beat Santa!
* Grim Reaper: You did it!
Victorious and Grim Reaper lift Gwenpool on their shoulders and celebrate her victory.
* Gwenpool: Does anybody else find it weird that we're celebrating the death of Santa Claus?
They all stop celebrating at that realization.
* Victorious: Well... Santa was a bad guy, so yay!
* Grim Reaper: I guess, but isn't it gonna be weird to live in a world where Santa Claus is remembered as a villain who died trying to destroy Christmas?
Gwenpool thinks about Reaper's words until her eyes lock on Tiwaz. She smiles and jumps off of Victorious and Grim Reaper's shoulders, jogging over to Tiwaz. She taps him on the back and he looks down at her.
* Tiwaz: Yes?
* Gwenpool: Buri, with your coat so red, won't you ride on Santa's sled?
* Tiwaz: What?
* Gwenpool: It was a reference to the Rudolph thing. You know, "with your nose so"... Nevermind, nobody laughed. The point is, you and your brother have a lot in common. Only you're not an asshole! Why don't you become the new Santa Claus?
* Tiwaz: I'm... not sure...
Mrs. Claus walks over to Tiwaz.
* Mrs. Claus: For what it's worth, I think you'd do a great job! You're basically identical to my husband if his madness never overtook him. If anyone were to become the new Santa Claus, I'd be more than happy if it were you!
* Tiwaz: Do you really think so?
Mrs. Claus smiles at him. A light blush crosses his face and he wraps his arm around her. He pulls her close to him and fist pumps the air.
* Tiwaz: Alright, I'll do it! From hence forward, I, Tiwaz, The Undefeated! The Unstoppable! The Living Storm! The Grandfather of Asgard! The... you get the point, I have a lot of names, will be the new Santa Claus! But first...
He turns to his newfound friends Victorious, Grim Reaper, and Gwenpool.
* Tiwaz: Let's get you three back home!
Tiwaz teleports everybody back to Victorious' apartment.
* Victorious: Wait, why weren't you just teleporting us everywhere this whole time?
* Tiwaz: Farewell, friends.
Tiwaz teleports away with Mrs. Claus.
* Victorious: Huh, must've not heard me.
Victorious spots Gwenpool comforting Grim Reaper and decides to step away from the two.
* Gwenpool: You alright, big man...?
* Grim Reaper: I'll live.
* Gwenpool: ...I know, it's bad. It's hard losing a friend, no matter how short you knew them. But, you know what, buddy? I'll always be here for ya, even in your toughest times.
Grim Reaper smiles.
* Gwenpool: And hey, I can finally give you this!
Gwenpool gives Grim Reaper his present. He opens it and pulls out a new scythe arm which is solid gold.
* Grim Reaper: My God... it's perfection incarnate... Oh, and before I forget!
Grim Reaper gives Gwenpool her gift as well, which she happily opens, revealing it to be a shark child with legs.
* Gwenpool: Oh my God, you kept a living creature in a box?
* Grim Reaper: What? I knew it'd survive.
* Gwenpool: That's not the point. What... is it?
* Grim Reaper: It's a Land Shark. Whole new species created by Hydra!
* Gwenpool: That sounds morally gray at best.
* Grim Reaper: If you don't like it I can take it back...
Gwenpool hugs the Land Shark.
* Gwenpool: No, he's mine! His name is Jeff and I will kill you if you touch him!
* Grim Reaper: Wonderful! Merry Christmas, Gwen!
* Gwenpool: Merry Christmas, Eric!
* Grim Reaper: Don't call me that.
* Gwenpool: Oh, sorry, it's just, you know, you called me by my real name and that was all personal so I thought I'd call you by your real name cause--
* Grim Reaper: No, I get why you did it, it's fine, just don't do it again.
* Gwenpool: Okay, sorry. Anyway, uh... Land Shark, yay!
She hugs Jeff again. However, she then suddenly looks afraid.
* Gwenpool: Oh my God, I just let Santa's sleigh go flying off! Wonder where that went...
Meanwhile in Latveria, Kristoff Vernard is arguing with his adoptive father, Doctor Doom.
* Kristoff: Father, you can't!
* Doctor Doom: I can!
* Kristoff: No! You can't ban Christmas in Latveria! The people will riot!
* Doctor Doom: I don't care! I'm fed up with that stupid fat man Santa Claus besting me! Every year I try to shoot him down for his sleigh and every year I fail! If I can't have my Christmas present then no can!
Santa's sleigh crashes through the wall behind Doom. Doom walks over to it and runs his hands over it. Doom then looks to the sky and sees the new Santa Claus, Tiwaz's silhouette flying across the moon. Doom takes his mask off, revealing his disfigured face which has a slight but noticeable smile and a tear running down his cheek.
* Doctor Doom: Thank you Santa Claus! Thank you so much!
Tiwaz looks down at Doom from his new sleigh, smiling at him. He then looks down to Mrs. Claus, who is cuddling up to him while they fly through the sky.
* Mrs. Claus: Say it.
* Tiwaz: Oh, no, I couldn't...
* Mrs. Claus: Come on!
* Tiwaz: It's such a cliché!
* Mrs. Claus: You know you want to.
Tiwaz lets out a slight sigh before standing up and waving to the world with a big grin on his face.
* Tiwaz: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Tiwaz continues yelling "Merry Christmas!" with each country he visits until he finally makes it back to America. Below his sleigh stands Gwenpool, who is back to wearing her scarf and Santa hat.
* Gwenpool: Merry Christmas to you too, big guy. And to all a good night.
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