Welcome to the Muppet Show Fan Club

"Welcome to the Muppet Show Fan Club" is a soundsheet recorded by the cast of The Muppet Show in 1977 as part of the membership kit for the Muppet Show Fan Club. The soundsheet plays on a standard record player, at 33 1/3 RPM. 
The record consists of a three-minute sketch including a welcome from the cast, "The Muppet Show Theme", and closing commentary from Statler and Waldorf. The recording has never been released commercially, and was only available to Fan Club members.
==Transcript==
 	Opening drumroll
Kermit the Frog	Hello there, and welcome to The Muppet Show Fan Club!
Fozzie Bear 	Hello, everybody!
 	The Muppets all try to speak at once, greeting the new Fan Club member. The noise settles down into "The Muppet Show Theme" (2nd season version), which ends with Gonzo attempting to blow his trumpet.
Gonzo 	Honk! Toot!
Kermit 	Uh, Gonzo, what happened to your trumpet?
Gonzo 	I ate it!
Kermit 	Of course. Uh, hello out there, everybody, and, uh, welcome to The Muppet Show Fan Club!
Fozzie 	Hi, this is Fozzie Bear!
Kermit 	And this is Kermit the Frog!
Fozzie 	Yeah, this is the bear with the snappy patter and the funny hat! Or is it the funny patter and the snappy hat?
Kermit 	Uh, something like that.
Fozzie 	Oh, gee, I forgot!
Kermit 	Whatever! Anyhow, a bunch of us have gathered here to say hello to you all, and to thank you for writing in and joining our fan club!
Miss Piggy 	Hello, Kermie!
Kermit 	Uh, hello, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy 	May I say something to the members of the Miss Piggy Fan Club?
Kermit 	Uh, well, this isn't the Miss Piggy Fan Club. This is the Muppet Show Fan Club.
Miss Piggy 	Mmm-hmm, whatever. I love each and every one of you adoring fans. Not quite as much as you love me!
Scooter 	Excuse me, Kermit? Uh, Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem are waiting outside. They'd like to come in and say hello to the Fan Club!
Kermit 	Oh, sure! Send them in!
Scooter 	Come on in, guys!
Floyd Pepper 	Oh, yeah, heyyy! Could be, could be, bop could be, what it is, babies!
Dr. Teeth 	Hey, yeah, this is Dr. Teeth! I hope y'all all gonna buy a lot of my records!
Janice 	Oh, really! Really! You know, like, I've joined many fan clubs, but this is the first time a fan club ever joined me! Wowwww!
Dr. Teeth 	Yeah!
Zoot 	Oh, really, this is Zoot! "B-natural"!
 	Floyd and Dr. Teeth chuckle.
Animal 	FAN CLUB! FAN CLUB! FAN CLUB!
Kermit 	Okay...
Floyd 	Whoa, Animal...
Kermit 	Uh, could somebody get Animal out of here...
Sam the Eagle 	Kermit, what are these people doing here?
Kermit 	Uh, well, the, uh --
Floyd 	Let's split, it's the eagle.
Sam 	Get away from me!
Kermit 	Uh, yeah.
Sam 	Don't touch me! I would like to speak to someone about these weird, sick people in this show!
Kermit 	Uh, well, this is, uh, this is the cast of our --
Gonzo 	Sam! Sam! Lookit! Lookit! I wanna show you something! Look at these chickens! I glued 'em together!
 	A chorus of glued-together chickens start clucking, somewhat musically.
Sam 	Will you get these things away from me, you geek?! I don't want these chickens here, Kermit! Kermit, did you hear me?
Kermit 	Uh, yeah, well, okay, well, can we get the chickens out of here?
Dr. Teeth 	Hey, yeah, we'll bring in the monsters! The monsters will take the chickens out...
Sam 	No, no, no, no, no!
 	The usual chaos ensues, until it settles down and we hear the closing theme, which of course ends with...
Waldorf 	Well, what do you think of this Muppet Show Fan Club, Statler? Shall we join?
Statler 	Why, are we coming apart?
Both 	Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
 	The theme finishes with a blast from Zoot's sax.
 	<BIG><BIG>THE END</BIG></BIG>
==See also==
*Muppet discography
__NOWYSIWYG__
Category:Muppet Albums
Category:Transcripts