Doc's Book Delivery Service

an adventure starring Skirmish, Kosmos, and Jade. 
Tweet Length Description: A dark mirror shows us indebted reflections of our heroes with a job to do taken out of desperation. Join Skirmish, Kosmos, and Jade in this adventure into the bizarre using the Electric Bastionland rpg system! 
System: Electric Bastionland
Non Player Characters:
* Cyrus Miller
* Kelly Virtanen
* Razzle Da Bazzle
* The Doc
* Boots
* Mrs. Turpenshod
* Starry Night
* Voltzmann
Plot Summary: Our adventure begins in a strange new world, far away from Niquamui, where Kosmos, Skirmish, and Jade find themselves in the fantastic world of Bastionland.  They find themselves collectively in massive debt to a group called the Unpairers due to all three having failed careers.  They embark on an adventure which will hopefully absolve them of their debt and lead to a more profitable way of life. 
The party receives a note from someone known as "the Doc" who is looking for adventurers to find a specific book for one of his clients, the "Libre del Rado".  After receiving directions from the Razzle Da Bazzle, proprietor of a store known as Razzle's Dazzles (who notably had an eyeball for a head), Skirmish, Jade, and Kosmos meet Doc and his lawyer, Boots.  Doc is in the stitching business and ends up providing his services to Skirmish, who alters his pants, and Kosmos, who acquires an additional arm.  They also ask if there are any side jobs that the doctor is willing to provide and receive a dripping sack of biohazard waste to dispose of in a bottomless pit. After signing some legal documents to properly disavow the Doc of any liability should the party run afoul of the law, the adventurers begin their journey towards the Eternal Library deep in the Bastionland underground run by a robot known as Starry Night. 
The first step our party takes is to dump out the sack in an inconspicuous place to see if it holds anything of value. Amongst the various extra body parts contained within the sack, the party finds an oddity: a scalpel capable of cutting through metal with the greatest of ease. They take the knife and the now empty sack and head out.  Almost immediately, they meet a cabbie whose mechanical spider carriage is broken.  After Skirmish provides a quick look with his extendable neck, he sees that a piece of metal jamming the gears is the culprit.  Using their new found tool, the obstruction is removed and the cabbie rewards them with a free roundtrip to an entrance of the Eternal Library: a book shop known as the Bloody Inkwell.
Upon arriving at the Bloody Inkwell, the party is given a beacon with a button such that when the button is pushed, the carriage will come to them to give them a ride. The party meets Mrs. Turpenshod, an old woman who agrees to show them the way to the Eternal Library for a fee, including a psychedelic mushroom that Jade offers.  On the way Skirmish steals a rare book from her bookstore. She leads them to some large doors and has them wear robes made out of paper to simulate that they are books. When they get to the imposing doors of the Eternal Library, the automated system scans the party, believes them to be books, and let them in to be added to the collection. After entering the massive library their guide demands more money to guide them to the book they seek. The party tries negotiating, but the deal is blown when Skirmish tries to sell her back the stolen book.  She leaves in disgust and our heroes find themselves alone in a sparling library with no direction and no clues.
Jade shouts at her claiming that the guide stole the book from the party which attracts the attention of the Hushers, monitors of the library that try to keep the library quiet. The Hushers converse quietly with the party and offer to help by guiding them to an area populated with mechanical hands that seem to retrieve and sort books automatically. The party asks the arms if they can retrieve the book and the arms set to helping.  However, when one arm holds up a sign reading "Spare parts?" Skirmish interprets it to mean spare parts are being offered and uses the knife to cut off the metallic arm.  Immediately, a combat ensues and all three heroes knock out an arm. Four  arms strike back and pummel Kosmos until he is unconscious. Skirmish throws a bomb to try and incapacitate the group an knocks done all but one who makes a hasty retreat after seeing so many arms defeated. Kosmos is attended to and regains consciousness, but the sound of many hushers approach as the explosion of the bomb attracts them. They flee.
A soothing voice speaks to them from the ceiling and offers to help. Skirmish claims to be an employee while Jade and Kosmos, still wearing their paper robes, claim to be books from the forbidden section and ask if they can be directed to the book. A series of lights illuminate a path and the party follows. They are led to a series of shelves containing flammable materials. Skirmish and Kosmos begin filling their empty sack with these materials thinking they will come in handy. When it becomes clear that the path becomes unclear as to which way to go, the party begins spreading flammable materials all over in an effort to blackmail the library into leading them to the proper book.  It seems to work as they are led to the Forbidden Section. On their way, they find spicy romance novels featuring Fabia and Fabio
Behind a huge double-arched gate lies a large forbidden area with many books and objects encased in glass cubes. Skirmish begins cutting the golden gate and putting sections of gold in their handy sack.  As he does, the party discovers a small blue box with a brown button on it. This oddity allows the user to teleport a certain distance and have an inferior copy of themselves take their place. The copies fade away in one minute. After playing with the box for a bit, they try to see if the Forbidden section is trapped. Once it is clear that there are no traps, the heroes enter through the cut open gate.  Jade finds the book in question while Kosmos finds two oddities: A necklace with an Eye of Cute and a stuffed T-Rex that grows to a real one when magic words are spoken. As they prepare to leave the forbidden section, a different voice calls them thieves and unleashes Blind Gorjah to destroy them. They hear a loud rumble as Blind Gorjah bursts through the wall and descends on the party. Jade and Skirmish climb up the bookcases to escape while Kosmos redirects the monster in preparation to unleash his new T-Rex. Kosmos speaks the words and watches his T-Rex grow and attack Blind Gorjah. The party flees in the chaos.
Jade decided to leave her pocket sized scribe in the library as it would be heaven to her. As the party continues, they smell smoke and hear a commotion. Apparently another group has stumbled across the flammable materials scattered previously and set the library ablaze. Now protecting the tiny scribe's new home, the party spams the replication box and tells the copies to smother the fire. Fire extinguished, the voice reappears and leads them out of the library, but not before more saucy Fabio and Fabia novels are collected. They recall their spider carriage taxi and Jade examines the book. It turns out the book is a cookbook containing very spicy recipes. Jade exchanges the covers of the cookbook and the Fabia book and prepare to deliver the prize to the client. When they encounter the client, they find that he is a disembodied heart in a jar named Voltzmann. He was seeking the book and is pleased it has been delivered. Suddenly, a strange feeling comes over everyone and everything fades out. When the heroes awaken, they fid that they were volunteers in Boltzmann's interdimesional experiment! They describe their experiences to him and are paid for their troubles.  
New frontiers are explored and more daring is done by the Firebreathing Kittens!
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Category:Episodes