Shoplifting/Quotes

:Bart: I gotta have those candy bars.
:Lisa: But Bart, we don't have any money.
:Bart: There's gotta be a way.
:Lisa: You better not be thinking about stealing those candy bars.
:Bart: That's it!
:Lisa: Better not, Bart!
:Bart: [stuffs candy bars into his shorts] So long, suckers! [gets caught by the security guard] They got me!
:Security Guard: You just sit right there and think about your crime, you dirty little shoplifter thief!
:Bart: Yes sir. [sticks tongue out as the security guard leaves]
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:Grocery Store Manager: Is he scared?
:Security Guard: I think I got that kid so scared he can't even see straight. [at one point his eyes "pops" out]
:Grocery Store Manager: Well, good. Frighten him some more while I call his parents.
:Lisa: Poor Bart.
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:Security Guard: Well, boy, it looks like the jig is-
:Bart: I know my right. You can't home me; you ain't got no evidence, copper. [looks in mirror, with hands and mouth covered in chocolate. gulps] Uh, is it too late to make a full confession?
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:Marge: Your father and I are very disappointed in you, Bart.
:
:Bart: Gee, I haven't noticed.
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:Homer: Bart!
:Marge: What have you learned from this experience, Bart?
:Bart: Well, Mom, I might have been caught and had a few bad moments there, but I gotta admit, the chocolate was delish.
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:Marge: No, no, no, Bart the lesson is ultimately crime hurts the criminal.
:Bart: That's not true, mom. I got a free ride home, didn't I? [cut to the car. the car stops and Bart is booted off the car. the car drives away]
Category:Quotes