They Call It Doom/Transcript

(In the Lava-Tides' village, Kai and Wyldfyre are surrounded by Dorama and the stagehands.)
Dorama: So you see, ninja, there is nothing you can acquire that I cannot confiscate. And yet, to think of all that I, your humble narrator, had to overcome. Why, the dangers, the hardship, the drama I have personally endured—
Kai: Egotistical villain monologues are always boring, but this one's super boring.
Wyldfyre: Triple agree! So, so, so boring. Know what's not boring?
Kai and Wyldfyre: Fireballs!
(They shoot Fire and Heat at Dorama, but he absorbs the attacks with his staff.)
Wyldfyre: Hey! No fair!
Dorama: Of course it's fair! Absorbing exotic energy is my true dramatic gift, you two-bit player. It's why my patron of the arts, the Good Empress Beatrix, recruited me in the first place. And so, I dedicate this Core to her! (The stagehands applaud.) Also, I want to thank my many fans. Now, because of me, we will have the Dragon Energy Core forever!
Lava-Tide Leader: (She suddenly appears and steals the Core back.) Yoink!
Lava-Tides: (Chanting.) No Core for you! No Core for you! (They all run off.)
Dorama: Was I just robbed by a troupe of waddling fire philistines? After them!
Kai: We have to get that Core first!
(They give chase to the Lava-Tides. The Lava-Tide Leader passes the Core to another Lava-Tide before Dorama can get it.)
Lava-Tide Leader: Keep away!
Lava-Tide 1: Cores are for winners! No Core! (He passes the Core away from Wyldfyre.)
Lava-Tide 2: For! (He catches the Core and passes it off.)
Lava-Tide Leader: You!
Dorama: How are these things so fast?
Kai: (He corners the Lava-Tide Leader.) Gotcha!
Lava-Tide Leader: Or do you? We launch the flaming boulders if you say "what".
Kai: What?
Lava-Tide Leader: Ha! You said it! (To a Lava-Tide above her.) You! Launch the flaming boulders! Our final defense system!
(The Lava-Tide strikes a gong and flaming boulders rain down on the village.)
Wyldfyre: Flaming boulders? Awesome!
(Everyone dives for cover.)
----
(At the Pinnacle of Crystals, Nya's team gets ready to leave.)
Sora: We had an amazing time, Arrakore. You're a great chef, and an even better singer.
Arrakore: Feasting and heroic song is the only way to celebrate victory over Howlers. Plus, it gave me time to recover enough to wield some wish magic again. I doubt I could grant any major wishes, but a small one like yours should be within my fragile power.
Nya: I wish we could locate the missing Dragon Energy Core.
(Arrakore summons a glowing arrowhead and gives it to Nya. The small rock around his neck grows larger, but he sinks lower to the ground.)
Sora: Arrakore!
Arrakore: It is okay, Ninja Sora. My strength will grow back with time and practice.
Nya: This thing, what, acts like a kind of compass?
Arrakore: Yes. It will point you toward the item you seek.
Nya: Thank you, Arrakore. You may have just helped save the world.
Arrakore: It is but a mere token, compared to the great debt I owe you.
(The ninja leave on their dragons, waving goodbye.)
Arrakore: Farewell, Zanth, my friend. Farewell, ninja, Jiro, and the little but mighty Riyu! May all your wishes come true!
----
(On the newly repaired Destiny's Bounty, Arin recites a list of pie crusts to Lloyd.)
Arin: Buttercream, butterflake, crispflake, and finally, crumble wall.
Lloyd: Wow, my mistake. Guess there can be 52 different kinds of pie crust.
Arin: (He peers over the side of the ship.) Uh, Lloyd. That Mother Garden place the temple spirit said to look for? I think we found it.
(They land the ship and admire the flora of the Mother Garden.)
Arin: (He plays with a tree with bells that jingle.) This land is wild! But I guess you've seen weird stuff like this a lot on your adventures.
Lloyd: I've seen weird stuff. (He studies a bush that blows bubbles.) But maybe not like this.
(They follow the bubbles and see the Core on a pedestal in the distance.)
Arin: The Core! (He runs to it.) Easier to find than I thought it'd be. (He reaches for it.)
Lloyd: Wait! The spirit told us the Cores were entrusted to people.
Arin: That was centuries ago.
Lloyd: There could still be someone protecting it. We should ask permission before we just take it.
Arin: Yeah, good point. But, ask who?
(Around them, a group of snail people emerge from their shells.)
Zant-Tanz: Congratulations, wanderers, for you have passed our little test.
Arin: What test?
Zant-Tanz: Why, to see if you would steal our Core or not. I am Zant-Tanz, acting general of the Mucoid warriors here in the Mother Garden.
Lloyd: We have no intention of stealing anything. But the spirit in the Dragon Core Temple sent us here. We need to ask for this Core so we can try to stop the MergeQuakes.
(Around them the Mucoids begin to chant and dance.)
Arin: What are they all doing?
Zant-Tanz: They hail our forefathers. We have been taught from one generation to the next that one day, our vigil over this Core would end when heroes came from the temple, asking permission to save the world. Now, our work and the work of those who came before us, is fulfilled.
Lloyd: So, we can have the Core?
Zant-Tanz: Of course. Use it wisely.
Arin: Alright! Mission accomplished.
Zant-Tanz: It's a good thing you asked. Because if you had just tried to take the Core, you'd have been captured like the last guy.
Lloyd: Last guy?
(They take them to see their prisoner.) 
Zant-Tanz: Behold, the would-be Core thief.
Lloyd and Arin: Rapton?
Rapton: You two! Get me out of here!
(They turn away to talk privately.)
Arin: Why's Rapton after the Core?
Lloyd: Beats me. But if he is, Empress Beatrix must know what we're up to, which is all kinds of bad.
(They turn back to Rapton.)
Arin: What are you doing here?
Rapton: Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you all that stuff. Really spill my guts. But first, you gotta save me!
Lloyd: From what? These perfectly pleasant and agreeable snail people?
Rapton: Pleasant?! They're gonna destroy me!
Lloyd: (He laughs.) He thinks you wanna hurt him.
Zant-Tanz: (He laughs as well.) He does. And he's totally right. He's a thief, so we're going to throw him into the doom mucus! He's, uh, really doomed if he goes in there. That's why we call it that.
Rapton: See? You gotta help me!
----
(In the Lava-Tides' village, everyone dodges the flaming boulders.)
Kai: I know you think this is a game, but we need that thing to save the world!
Lava-Tide Leader: (She laughs.) You expect me to believe that annoying girl you're with is gonna save the world? Ha! Give me a break.
Wyldfyre: One break coming up! (She slides in and takes the Core.)
Lava-Tide Leader: Aww, come on!
Kai: Wyldfyre, pass!
Wyldfyre: Yeah, right! You're just gonna lose it again! (Distracted, she loses the Core to Dorama.)
Dorama: Haha! The second act plot twist! Gets them every time.
(A Lava-Tide knocks the Core away from the stagehands.)
Lava-Tide 1: Yes! Classic prank.
Wyldfyre: It is. It really is!
(Everyone runs after the Core. The Lava-Tide Leader grabs it and escapes up a wall.)
Dorama: You had better run! I am well-versed in all types of stage combat!
Kai: (To Wyldfyre.) Next time, pass the Core!
Wyldfyre: Passing is for teams, and teams are for people too weak to work alone!
Kai: First she has the same elemental power as me — how is that even a thing — now she's a Core hog. This kid is the worst!
Dorama: (He lands in front of the Lava-Tide Leader.) Prepare for my standing ovation!
(The Lava-Tides pass the Cores around, ending up with the Lava-Tide Leader.)
Lava-Tide Leader: Ha! Totally planned! (She laughs.)
Wyldfyre: I'm tired of these games. Eat fire!
Kai: Wyldfyre, no!
(Wyldfyre's Heat hit the Lava-Tide Leader in the mouth, making her grow bigger with each blast.)
Lava-Tide Leader: Oh. I mean, still all part of the plan! (She laughs.)
Wyldfyre: Uh, my flames always stop enemies.
Kai: I wouldn't say always.
Wyldfyre: Yes always!
Lava-Tide Leader: Crushing you will be my greatest practical joke! (She laughs again.)
Lava-Tides: (Chanting.) No Core for you! No Core for you!
----
(Far away, Nya and Sora land in an unknown location.)
Nya: This is where the magic compass led us, but now the arrow's just spinning. We must be close. But what is this place? (She picks up a few items.) Seeds, car keys, stuffed animals? This place is weird.
Sora: Seriously. A single sock?
Nya: You'd think a glowing Dragon Core would be easy to find in all this.
(Suddenly, the land starts to quake.)
Sora: Do you know what's happening? I don't know what's happening!
(Random items erupt from a hole in the ground, sending Riyu flying. Nya kicks away a few items, while Sora tries to catch Riyu.)
Nya: Somehow, this place just got even more strange. Trash geysers?
Sora: Some of this stuff is brand new. And some of it looks like it's from Imperium. And I'm still not seeing a Dragon Core.
(They spot figures running from them in the distance.)
Nya: Hey! You!
Sora: Wait up! We need to talk to you!
(They run after the figures.)
----
(In the Mother Garden, Rapton struggles in his slime trap.)
Lloyd: So, you're telling me Rapton here is slated to be destroyed?
Zant-Tanz: Oh, yes. And they said Mucoids don't punish those that break our rules. Oh. Actually, no one has ever said that, I — I just have a very active fantasy life.
Rapton: Come on, man. I know our relationship got off to a rocky start—
Lloyd: You tried to stomp us into oblivion.
Arin: And claw us into pieces with indestructible monsters.
Rapton: Quit living in the past. Right here, right now, these slugs plan to end me. Can't you do something?
Lloyd: (He sighs.) Look. While I'm not a huge fan of this guy—
Rapton: Pfft. I can hear you.
Lloyd: —I really don't want to see him meet his doom. Is there any way he can... I don't know, be pardoned for his crimes against the Mucoids?
Zant-Tanz: Oh, well... technically, there is one way to prevent this abhorrent criminal from meeting his much deserved fate. But I wouldn't recommend it.
Rapton: Recommend it. Recommend it!
Lloyd: What can be done?
Zant-Tanz: According to ancient Mucoid tradition, the prisoner may be freed if, and only if, someone will walk the Impossible Path on their behalf.
Lloyd: Well, okay. Cool. What's the problem with that?
Zant-Tanz: Well, we do not refer to it as the Impossible Path because walking it is possible. Anyone who dared traverse the path will, with near complete and utter certainty, be destroyed. Obliterated. Pass away. Cease to be among the living.
Arin: I think we get it.
Zant-Tanz: So, obviously, you won't be taking that option. So enjoy your Core and say goodbye to your friend here, and—
Lloyd: I'll do it.
Zant-Tanz: You will?
Arin: You will?
Rapton: You will?
Zant-Tanz: No one ever takes the Impossible Path!
Lloyd: As your teacher, it's vital I instill in you the knowledge that all life is important.
Arin: But that's Rapton.
Rapton: Hey!
Lloyd: Sure. Rapton wouldn't lift a finger to help us, but it's the right thing, the ninja thing, to do whatever we can to save him. (To Zant-Tanz.) Lead me to the impossible path.
Zant-Tanz: It has been a pleasure knowing you.
----
(In the Lava-Tides' village, Kai and Wyldfyre run from the enlarged Lava-Tide Leader.)
Lava-Tide Leader: How the Lava-Tides have turned! Ha!
Kai: Do you ever think before you act?
Wyldfyre: Why would I do that?
Dorama: (To the Lava-Tide Leader.) Cease your advance! I, Dorama, two-time winner of the Ninjago City Stage Actor Union's, Certificate of Honorable Mention, do hereby— (He and the stagehands are blasted away by the Lava-Tide Leader.) Alas, I have been disrespected.
(Kai and Wyldfyre are chased into a dead end.)
Wyldfyre: Why did you lead us here?
Kai: What? You were in the front!
Lava-Tide Leader: Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide! Prepare to— (She is cut off as Heatwave tackles her to the ground.)
Wyldfyre: Oh yeah! That's my family!
(Heatwave battles the Lava-Tide Leader. He is injured, but he manages to fly off with Kai, Wyldfyre, and the Dragon Core in tow.)
Wyldfyre: See ya, losers!
Lava-Tide Leader: Oh. No Core for... us.
Stagehand: Uh, what are we gonna tell the Empress?
Dorama: This is only the intermission. The play still has many more acts.
----
(In the Mother Garden, Zant-Tanz leads Lloyd and Arin through the forest.)
Arin: Is this Impossible Path nearby?
Zant-Tanz: Quiet. One must treat this journey with solemnity. (He stops before a path obscured by some leaves.) The Impossible Path lies before us. I know it is difficult to face, but do not avert your eyes.
Lloyd: This is the Impossible Path?
Zant-Tanz: The single most dangerous place in the Mother Garden.
Arin: And no one has ever survived the path? For real?
Zant-Tanz: Hmm. Um, let's see. Uh, that one time... no. What about... uh, nope. Oh, he also did not survive. Maybe the one... no. No, no one has ever lived through it. Good luck. (To Arin.) Follow me, young one. We'll traverse to the end of the path. Eh. Going there is useless, since no one ever survives, but it's part of the ritual, so we must do it.
Arin: Are you okay, Lloyd?
Lloyd: Oh, sure. How impossible could this path really be? (He stretches before entering the path.)
(Zant-Tanz takes Arin to the end of the path.)
Arin: I'm really worried about Lloyd.
Zant-Tanz: There's no reason to be nervous.
Arin: There isn't?
Zant-Tanz: Nerves are only for situations in which you don't know the outcome. You already know your teacher will meet his demise, so relax.
Arin: That... might be the worst advice anyone has ever given me.
Zant-Tanz: Well, we've given this enough time. Let's head back so you can make funeral arrangements. (Suddenly, he hears footsteps behind him and gasps.) Footsteps? It can't be!
Lloyd: (He walks in whistling.) Hey guys.
Zant-Tanz: You have achieved the impossible. How is that possible?
Lloyd: There wasn't a single dangerous thing in there. I mean, I kept waiting for something to jump out, or a trapdoor, or quicksand, but it was just a pleasant trail through the garden. Maybe you overhyped it slightly?
Zant-Tanz: (He touches the path in disbelief, and screams in pain.) But the path is completely covered in salt! Salt is the ultimate doom! It is impossible to survive! How?
Lloyd: Oh, now it makes sense. Salt can be deadly to snails, but isn't dangerous for us. Like, at all.
Arin: We even eat salt.
(Zant-Tanz faints in shock. Later, he recovers back at their prison, while two Mucoids remove the slime from Rapton.)
Zant-Tanz: (To Rapton.) Per ancient law of the Mucoids, your freedom has been granted. Even though this has never once happened before. I would imagine that an expression of gratitude would be in order?
Rapton: (He laughs.) I would definitely like to express my thanks. (He pulls out his laser gun and fires at everyone.) For letting me do this, suckers! (He snatches the dropped Core and runs off laughing, with Lloyd and Arin chasing behind.)
Zant-Tanz: Oh, that did not seem gracious. But, uh, maybe customs among their people are different.
Arin: I can't believe he just did that!
Lloyd: Don't worry. He can't outrun us!
(Suddenly, Rapton is electrocuted by two people in suits, who pick up the Core.)
Denholt: Oh great. This was supposed to be a routine examination of the legality of this foliage, but now we uncover an unlicensed cosmic power source?
Karit: Ugh, so much paperwork. Let's take it back to the Administration and get started on our 1083B forms.
(Denholt activates a portal, and the two exit through it.)
Lloyd: (He gasps.) Arin, run!
(They leap through the portal just before it closes. Behind them, Rapton wakes up and sneezes from the bush bubbles.)
Rapton: Ugh, this has been the weirdest day.
----
(Somewhere in the Wyldness, Heatwave lands on a cliff.)
Kai: I can't believe it. We finally have the Core.
(Heatwave collapses.)
Wyldfyre: Heatwave's hurt! We have to help him!
----
(In the Land of Lost Things, Nya and Sora pursue the two figures.)
Nya: Hey! We just wanna talk!
Sora: Please! Stop!
(Suddenly, a huge golem lands before them, and they scream.)
Golem: No one touches these children!
(They fight the golem. Nya uses Spinjitzu to attack, but it doesn't work.)
Golem: Spinjitzu? (He stops attacking.)
Sora: Huh?
Nya: Cole? Is that you?
(End of the episode. For more information, click here.)
Category:Transcript
Category:2023
Category:Season 1 (Dragons Rising)