EoP: Torpedo Torpedo

First in the Elements of Phazon series.
Previous: None - Next: Serpent Noodles and Sporky Scenes (unfinished)
==Chapter One: The Crunch==
"We need a new commander, don't we?"
The mutant, green-scaled, reptile-like creature spoke quietly to a red, fox-like robot. The robot was trapped inside a capsule, dark blue liquid flowing around it, various tubes going into its body. The reptile grinned slowly as he put his paw on the capsule.
"Soon, Foxy, soon."
The door to the room opened, and a mutant red-scaled creature walked in.
"Kraid, we found a planet, should we look on it?"
Kraid nodded.
"Go on, Crocomire, take whatever you can find."
Crocomire turned and walked out the door. He walked down the quiet, metal hallways of the spaceship. The quiet spaceship slowly landed on a planet, on an island in the middle of the sea. The island was filled with pink trees of all sorts, and mushrooms grew all along the paths. On the sandy beach, was sitting a group of monkeys. Sitting near the monkeys, was a strange looking ichneumon with no limbs, but instead having floating hands and feet, along with a head.
The ichneumon was sitting on the sand with a laptop on its lap. He was on DeepsterTube watching Angry German Kid videos, which he does when he has nothing better to do. The ichneumon looked above, and saw the Space Pirate ship high above in the sky. The monkeys screamed and ran into the pink jungle, while the ichneumon just simply stared at the ship, before opening his mouth.
"Hi, deepsters! Welcome to Tanetane Island, my beautiful home! It's so fun here, just don't eat any of the colorful mushrooms you find, and, watch out for those annoying Eerie Smiles, they HAET Lapfox, GRR!"
The door to the spaceship opened as it landed on the beach. Out walked Kraid, who stared at the ichneumon as he flicked his tail.
"But, aren't YOU an Eerie Smile...?"
The ichneumon shook his head.
"Nope, though I was once a worm before I became an ichneumon! I've been living here my whole life, raised by those monkeys that you chased away."
Kraid sighed.
"Why don't you come on board? We can take you ALL across the galaxy, you've been stuck on this island all your life, hasn't it got boring?"
The ichneumon thought to himself for a moment.
"I'll think about it... I need to go talk with my monkeys."
He then stood up and walked into the bushes where the monkeys had gone. Crocomire sighed, and decided to explore the island a little, while Kraid stood by the spaceship. He walked along the path, looking at all the colorful mushrooms growing everywhere. Crocomire picked up one of the mushrooms and sniffed it. He chuckled.
"What could possibly go wrong?"
Crocomire ate the mushroom in one bite. He then came across a small pool of hot water. Crocomire decided to sit in the water. Crocomire sat in the water for what seemed like forever, as the sun started to slowly set, causing the sky to be tainted with orange and gold. Just as Crocomire was about to fall asleep in the water, he someone come out of the bushes, but not anyone he knew. He was a human that had orange hair, and was wearing a blue and yellow striped shirt, along with green Crocs shoes.
The human screamed in delight as he saw Crocomire. He jumped at Crocomire, hugging him tightly as Crocomire tried to claw the human off of him. The human refused to let go and kept squeezing.
"I LOVE YOU CROC!!"
Crocomire then snapped back to reality. Standing by the pool, was the ichneumon, holding various suitcases filled with Lapfox albums of all sorts, along with many Mega Babies and Caillou DVDs, along with a Limited Edition Caillou plush. Crocomire took a deep sigh as he realized it was just a hallucination. The ichneumon sighed.
"I told you not to eat those mushrooms..."
Crocomire sighed and got out of the water, leading the ichneumon to the ship. One of the monkeys appeared from the bushes behind the ichneumon, crying.
"RAMEN PLZ PLAY WIT ME!!"
The ichneumon turned around just as he was about to walk onto the ship.
"No EB, I work man now."
==Chapter Two: Don't Cry Jennifer==
"My name is Rayman, Rayman Songbob Ryuka, by the way." the ichneumon said to Kraid as he led him into the lab with Foxy.
Kraid stuck a tube onto Rayman with a latch onto his head connected to a computer, before taking it off. Kraid turned to the large computer screen and read the profile.
NAME: RAYMAN RYE MAGICMOON
SPECIES: ICHNEUMON
AGE: 13 (BORN 6/1/01)
GENDER: M
Kraid looked back at Rayman.
"But, it doesn't say anything about a 'Rayman Songbob Ryuka'."
Rayman sighed.
"Well, the last name of the monkeys who raised me was 'Magicmoon', but I say it's 'Ryuka' for, specil reasons."
Kraid nodded.
"Right..."
Kraid walked out the door and into the hallway.
"Stay here." he said before shutting the door. Rayman nodded, and walked over to the capsule holding Foxy. He tapped on the glass, looking at the mecha-fox within it.
Kraid walked into another room, Crocomire was looking at a computer screen. Crocomire turned around and sighed.
"Whatever THAT island was, I NEVER want to go there again. I got attacked by some kid! Anyway, did you get him in the capsule?"
Kraid shook his head.
"Not yet, he's just standing in the lab.... I'm not sure if he really can be the commander... He's awfully goofy..."
Crocomire scoffed.
"That'll be fixed soon enough, but for now, we need to find another planet."
Kraid nodded, before walking out the room and back into the lab. Rayman was still poking at the glass of Foxy's capsule. Kraid slowly bent over and picked up a metal bar, as he slowly crept up behind Rayman, he whacked him on the back of the head, causing him to fall over, unconscious.
==Chapter Three: Space Dog Escape Pod==
"Kraid, Kraid!" called Crocomire.
"We found another planet!"
Kraid was standing in the lab looking into a new capsule placed by Foxy's. Inside the capsule was Rayman, who, like Foxy, was surrounded by blue liquid, and had various tubes in him. Kraid quickly turned around.
"We did?"
Crocomire nodded.
"Yes, and it's full of life!"
The spaceship slowly landed on a small, jungle-filled island. Kraid looked on the computer screen as the ship scanned the island.
COCOA ISLAND
"Hm, Cocoa Island... let's check it out."
As the ship landed, Kraid and Crocomire walked out onto the sandy beach. It was very sunny, and there was a calm breeze. Kraid spotted a small house by the beach, and walked over to it. He looked in all the windows, but no one seemed to be home. He pointed towards the jungle beyond the beach.
"Crocomire, go search the jungle for anyone. I'll scan the beaches."
Crocomire nodded before taking off to the jungle. Crocomire walked down into the jungle, looking all around the bushes and trees. At the very edge of the jungle, she spotted a strange cave with symbols on the walls. She walked over into the cave, before stopping at the entrance. He could hear footsteps.
Someone was there.
Crocomire slowly crept into the cave, inside, was a strange looking portal, almost resembling a portal of power, but it wasn't glowing. Around the circular portal were eight colorful gems, all equally spaced around the portal. Standing by the portal, was a strange orange-furred fox with two tails, who picked up the yellow gem from the portal and looked at it closely.
Crocomire slowly walked into the cave, creeping behind the fox as he held a metal bar in her hand. The fox gasped and quickly turned around. As the fox saw him, Crocomire raised his hand and knocked the fox out stone cold. He bent over and picked up the yellow gem from the floor, and walked over to the portal. He picked up all of the remaining gems, and put them in a bag. Crocomire walked over to the fox's unconscious body, before picking it up and carrying it out the door.
==Chapter Four: Dizzy, Codemaster==
After the ship had left the planet, the Space Pirates had landed the ship back onto Zebes. They now had three candidates for the new commander of the Space Pirates. Inside the lab, Kraid and Crocomire were waiting for someone. The door opened, and in walked in a large spider-like mech, with someone riding inside of it. Kraid turned around as he saw the mech, and sighed.
"It's about time. Where have you been, Porky?"
Inside the spider mech, was Porky Minch, who had come from the same planet Rayman had. Porky had met the Space Pirates once, when they were visiting New Pork City. Porky became a friend of Kraid's, and had agreed to help him and the Space Pirates turn the two commander candidates they found into more powerful Space Pirate technology enhanced cyborg chimeras.
"Sorry, I was in the studio recording more Pigmaskz songs, for my new album, Enhanced Pork Unit!"
Kraid rolled his eyes.
"That's great. Come here, you can do the ichneumon first."
Porky drove his mech over to a small table where Rayman's unconscious body was laying. A sinister grin appeared across Porky's face.
"This will be easy."
Porky had been working on Rayman for several hours, enhancing him with Space Pirate technology and mecha parts in order to create a much stronger cyborg version of him.
Rayman's transformation into a cyborg was only just beginning. Where his eye would be, was a blue oval-shaped gem, allowing him to see everything with a blue tint. His right hand was also replaced by a dark gray robot hand with a blue gem on it.
Porky picked up a needle filled with dark blue and black liquid, with a label saying "MEGA CHARIZARD X DNA".
Porky put the needle into Rayman, before picking him up and putting him back into the capsule. In a newly added third capsule, held the fox creature. Kraid looked at the computer screen which had the profile of the creature, but for some reason, wasn't complete.
NAME: UNKNOWN
SPECIES: KITSUNE
AGE: 13
GENDER: M
"Wow, a kitsune! The computer can't seem to identify its name, oh well, we'll think of a good one." Kraid said to himself.
Kraid had never seen an actual kitsune ever in his life. Kitsune are known to be one of the rarest creatures in existence, which made many believe that they actually never existed, or if they did, they went extinct. Kraid grinned at the thought of having a legendary kitsune be the commander of the Space Pirates.
It was hours later, and Rayman's transformation into a chimera was complete. Still laying on the table, he now had two, large, Mega Charizard X wings. The entire right side of his face was now dark gray metal, and a large curved horn stuck out of his forehead, which was connected to the metal. His blue gem eye glowed slightly.
Porky opened the door to kitsune's capsule, and brought the kitsune out and put it on the metal table. Then, Porky turned, and looked at Foxy's capsule. Foxy was moving, and soon enough, his eye opened, which glowed a yellow light. Foxy broke free of his wires and pushed the door of the capsule open, causing the liquid to spill out all over the floor. Foxy stepped onto the floor, his teeth bared, eyes glowing, claws unscathed.
Foxy stood up, he growled at Kraid and Porky. Kraid smiled as the door opened. Crocomire walked into the room, and looked as Foxy stood, growling. Crocomire clapped.
"Well done. But, Porky, how can we possibly get the other two done on time?"
Porky looked over at Kraid, and turned back to Crocomire.
"The ichneumon is pretty much done. Now, only the fox is left..."
Kraid nodded to Porky.
"Get it done by tomorrow night."
Kraid then led Foxy out the lab. Crocomire pulled out a bag, and grabbed out a yellow gem, the gem that the kitsune was holding before being blown unconscious, and one of the mysterious gems surrounding the portal. Crocomire handed the gem to Porky.
"I think you should have this, it might be magical."
Crocomire then turned and walked out the room. Porky held the gem in his hand, as his face grew a sinister smile.
==Chapter Five: Punisher==
The next day, Rayman had finally gained consciousness again. He sat up on the table, panting. He noticed that his hand was now gray metal. He touched his face, and felt cold metal. He gasped and fell off the table. Porky was standing in his mech by another table, the spider mech's "hands" working various tools and metal parts. Sitting on the table, was the kitsune. Porky had been up all night working on the chimera, and was very tired.
Porky turned, and saw Rayman on the floor, awake. He gasped.
"You're not supposed to be awake yet!"
Rayman shook his head and stood up. He looked at his reflection on the dark computer screen, and gasped in delight.
"Holy phazon! I LOOK SO COOL AND EDGY!!! If only the monkeys could see this!!"
Porky stared at Rayman, confused.
"But, shouldn't you be crying and weeping, begging for Master Porky to unchimera-fy you and send you home to those monkeys?"
Rayman scoffed.
"And why would I do that?"
The door then opened, and Kraid walked in. He gasped as he saw Rayman awake.
"Oh, you're awake! That's good, I was going to wake you up anyway to send you to training."
Rayman flicked his ear.
"Training...? For what?"
Kraid grinned, fangs bared.
"You'll see."
Kraid grabbed Rayman, and turned to Porky.
"How's the fox going?"
Porky nodded.
"It's almost done, give me an hour."
Kraid nodded.
"The battle is supposed to start in an hour, be sure to get it done."
Porky nodded.
"Of course."
As Kraid left the room, Porky pulled out a large radio. He turned it on, and blasted loud pop music as sang along to the song as he worked on the chimera.
"OH, CAUSE THE PLAYERS GONNA PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY, AND THE HATERS GONNA HATE HATE HATE HATE!!"
"I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE IT OFF, SHAKE IT OFF!!!!"
==Chapter Six: West Mansion==
After thirty minutes of training with Foxy, Rayman decided to explore around the ship. He looked around through the rooms, and found a room with a laptop, Kraid's room. Rayman sat down at the laptop, and put on a black and blue light up headset sitting on the desk. He then had an amazing idea.
"Come on, load faster! I want to download an Xbox emulator!"
Rayman screamed at the computer as the slow Zebes internet loaded a browser called "Google Claus". Rayman went to the site "Emulatorsformonkeys.com" and went to the Xbox category.
"This emulator seems good, DOWNLOAD!!"
The computer slowly downloaded the emulator as Rayman growled.
"FASTER YOU PHAZONING IDIOT!!!"
After the emulator downloaded, Rayman opened the file, a grin appearing across his face.
"FINALLY, DARK SOULS 2! DARK SOULS 2! DARK SOULS TEWWWWWW! DARK SOULS 2! OPEN RIGHT NOW!!!!!"
The file opened an emulator called "BOX ONEZ". It opened a warning page, with text too small to read. Rayman screamed.
"WHAT AM I WARNED ABOUT!? WHAT'S THE DEAL, WITH, THE SMALL TEXT TO BE WARNED ABOUT!!!?? 'ARE YOU SURE TO INSTALL THIS?' OF COURSE I PHAZONING AM SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Rayman accepted, and the screen went black. Rayman screamed.
"WHAT THE PHAZON!!! IT CAUSED A BLACK SCREEN!!!???"
Then, a message popped up, saying "Do you wish to download this virus?", Rayman screamed AGAIN.
"WHAT!!!!???? IT'S A VIRUS!!!??????"
Rayman then accidentally accepted, as the virus was being downloaded. Rayman screamed for the millionth time.
"I CAN'T DECLINE IT!!!! OH MY PHAZON KRAID IS GONNA KILL ME!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE END, THIS IS THE END!!!!!"
Kraid then walked into the room, annoyed by the screaming.
"Why are you screaming!? It's time for the battle!"
Rayman quickly got up from the chair, not noticing that he broke the cord to the headset he was wearing. He stumbled out of the room, whispering to himself.
"Oh, oh, oh, it's fine, it's fine..."
==Chapter Seven: Tank! Tank! Tank!==
Kraid led Rayman into a small arena in the ship. High up watched many Space Pirates, including Ridley Robot. Rayman stood next to Foxy, who growled at him. Rayman poked Kraid.
"Um, what are we supposed to do?"
Kraid sighed.
"You, Foxy, and the kitsune will fight to the DEATH, all three of you. The winner gets to become the Space Pirate's new commander."
Rayman gulped.
"Sounds interesting..."
Porky then walked into the arena, smiling.
"It's finished! It's finished! Finally, after hours and hours of work, I present to you, Scales the Kistune!"
Kraid and Crocomire watched as the kitsune walked into the arena. Like Rayman, the entire right side of hid face was black metal, and he had a strange purple eye that glowed. Various tubes were in the back of his head connected to the metal, and he now had robotic silver metal ears with vents in them.
On his right hand, was a large black and silver arm cannon. Inside a small clear capsule on the arm cannon was a yellow gem, the same yellow gem Crocomire had given to Porky. It glowed with energy as it powered the arm cannon.
Scales was ready.
Kraid and Crocomire went to the upper levels and watched with the other Space Pirates. Kraid yelled as fire shot out his mouth.
"Now, FIGHT!"
Foxy took out a large metal sword that was infused with phazon, and swiped at Rayman. Rayman took off into the air with his wings and tackled Foxy, attempting to stab him with his horn. Foxy quickly dodged. Scales propelled his two tails and flew into the air, shooting a blast of purple electricity infused with phazon at Rayman. Rayman dodged it and punched Scales with his robot hand. Scales fell on the ground, but quickly got back up. Scales opened his mouth, revealing sharp chimera fangs, and spoke.
"Watashi wa kesshite kōfuku shinai!"
Scales shot another blast out his arm cannon, hitting Foxy and making him tumble to the ground. He stumbled back up and growled, his eyes glowing with rage. Some of the Space Pirates watching chanted "Scales! Scales!", while others chanted Foxy's name. Rayman noticed that no one seemed to be cheering for him. He flew into the air, ignoring Foxy and Scales and spoke as loud as he could.
"Um, excuse me, Space Pirates or whatever, I'm in this battle too!"
Rayman quickly flew to the ground and tackled the dueling foxes below. Scales got up and whacked at Rayman with his two tails, infusing them with electricity and wind to create shock. Rayman's blue gem eye glowed and he opened his mouth, revealing sharp chimera fangs, along with a long blue tongue. Rayman charged into the floor, and somehow created a hole in the floor of the ship. Everyone gasped as something started to suck in Rayman. Rayman got sucked into the hole, in which Foxy and Scales quickly followed. Porky, who had been watching on the side, gasped as his mech was slowly being sucked into the hole as well. He screamed as the hole consumed him and his entire mech, and was sucked in.
Kraid jumped down and looked into the hole, before starting to get sucked in as well, he pulled himself away, before realizing that he had accidentally had the ship be floating in space around Zebes instead of actually being on Zebes. His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach as he gulped.
"It's a black hole, isn't it..." he whispered to himself.
Crocomire screamed.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? GET THEM BACK!"
"AND BE SUCKED INTO THAT HOLE!?" snapped Kraid. Crocomire jumped down onto the floor and growled at Kraid.
"This is all YOUR fault! You let the ship float in midair and now a black hole's gonna eat us!"
Kraid scoffed.
"Oh, so this is MY fault!?"
Crocomire slapped Kraid across the face. He then ran towards the hole, growling at back Kraid.
"YOU KNOW WHAT!? FORGET ABOUT THIS! I'M GOING TO GO FIND RIDLEY!"
Kraid scoffed.
"Ridley!? He's LONG gone now, Crocomire! He disappeared one day a year ago! He's probably dead or something!"
Crocomire shook his head.
"No, no, no, he's out there somewhere, and he's still alive..."
Crocomire then jumped into the black hole, and was sucked in. Kraid ran to the hole and tried to grab Crocomire to pull him out, but it was too late. The hole had consumed him, and he was gone. Kraid couldn't help but sob a little, he was one of the Space Pirate's most powerful leaders, along with Ridley, and now, they were both gone, along with Rayman, Foxy, and Scales.
Ridley Robot flew down walked up to Kraid as the black hole began to slowly close.
"Do you think they'll end up somewhere besides death?"
Kraid sighed.
"You know... in a Universe as crazy as this... anything is possible..."
Scales, Rayman, and Foxy soared through the air, they were falling at rapid speeds through the clouds and towards the ground. Rayman tried to use his wings to fly, but the pressure of air was too great, and he couldn't get them to flap. The three chimeras tumbled down and landed into a pile of mud. Scales looked up, and saw he was on the ground. He quickly jumped to his feet, and looked around. He bent over and poked Foxy, who was collapsed in the mud.
Rayman and Foxy stood up, and looked around. The three chimeras were in a new world now, a world surrounded by various floating islands. Dragons could be seen flying in the distance, and sheep ran around all over the place. In the distance, they could see the cityscape of a large city, far in the distance. Scales sighed, and walked towards the city.
Foxy and Rayman followed.
==Epilogue==
"I've heard of how Crocomire threw herself into the black hole in order to find Ridley... he's quite brave..."
On the very edge of a rocky cliff in Zebes, was a white dragoness wearing a hooded cloak. Her face was hidden, as she was reading a newspaper with a headline reading "MOTHER BRAIN JUMPS INTO BLACK HOLE IN SEARCH OF MISSING SPACE PIRATE RIDLEY". The dragon sighed, before standing up.
"Don't worry Crocomire... you're not alone...." the dragon calmly spoke.
"You're not the only one who misses Rids."
END.
Category:EoP