Episode 320: Sylvester Stallone

The backstage is invaded by Sylvester Stallone's groupies, who have paid Scooter for backstage passes. To calm a furious Kermit, Scooter pretends the girls are all there to see him, then hustles them up to Sylvester's dressing room.
Otto the Automatic Entertainer tries to tell jokes and to help Fozzie in his magician's act. 
==Songs/Sketches==
* "Hawaiian War Chant"
* "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off"
* Punching Bag
* Professor Albert Flan and Otto the Automatic Entertainer
* "Lady Be Good"
* Link Hogthrob and Sylvester chat.
* William Tell Overture
* Veterinarian's Hospital
* Fozzie's Comedy Acts
* "A Bird in a Gilded Cage"
==Episode==
Picture	Description
 	Cold Open: Scooter asks guest star Sylvester Stallone if he's okay. Sylvester says that he is "happy as a clam." The Clams come into the dressing room, complaining and being generally miserable. Sylvester adds, "Well, happy as some clams."
 	"The Muppet Show Theme": Beauregard enters Statler and Waldorf's box, complaining about all the dust.Beautiful Day Monster sneaks up on Gonzo, grabbing the trumpet from his hands and playing the solo for himself.
 	Kermit informs the audience that tonight's guest star is Sylvester Stallone, which makes the Groupies go crazy. When Kermit introduces a Hawaiian number for the opening act, one Groupie asks Kermit if Sylvester is going to wear a grass skirt.
 	The Pigs and Penguins sing the "Hawaiian War Chant". Quongo the Wild Mountain Gorilla throws coconuts at the singers.
 	Backstage, Kermit notices that the show is off to a decent start, unaware of the groupies right behind him. When he sees them, Kermit tells the girls that they're not allowed backstage. The girls tell Kermit that they have backstage passes. This is confusing to Kermit, since they do not give out backstage passes. It all makes sense, however, when he spots Scooter counting out 29 bucks. Kermit tells the groupies they're not going to see Sylvester Stallone, but when Kermit goes out to make an introduction, Scooter tells the girls that the Frog wants them to stay right there so they can see Sylvester Stallone up close.
 	In a gladiator sketch, Sylvester fights a cowardly lion, who sings "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off".
 	Backstage, Scooter has the girls follow his lead. Kermit wants to have a serious talk with Scooter, so to calm down the furious Kermit, Scooter decides to lie and pretends that the girls are actually all there to see him. With Kermit appropriately distracted by this flattery, Scooter hustles the groupies up to Sylvester's dressing room.
 	Guest Star's Dressing Room: Sylvester is sitting there all alone until Scooter comes into the room. He tries to explain the situation, but the girls burst into the room all excited to meet him. Sylvester explains about making a movie about fighting and likes to work out. As he demonstrates a few punches, Sly discovers that the Punching Bag in his dressing room is alive and can talk.
 	Professor Albert Flan presents Otto the Automatic Entertainer, a robot comedian who buzzes and whirs and then explodes in the middle of a joke.
 	UK Spot: "Lady Be Good" is sung by Floyd, accompanied by Dr. Teeth and Zoot.
 	Guest Star's Dressing Room: Link Hogthrob enters to talk to Sylvester about the groupies. Naturally, Link assumes they're there to stalk him, and asks Sly if he's safe to hide with him. Link and Sylvester discuss keeping in shape and cologne... Link isn't very good with either.
 	Sam the Eagle tries to stop Beauregard from going on stage, but Bo insists he's there to assist with the number. Sam says, "I didn't know you were musical." Bo isn't, so he has much in common with the rest of the band. Beauregard then assists in a performance of the William Tell Overture.
 	Veterinarian's Hospital: Hawaiian Pig, one of the pigs from the "Hawaiian War Chant" number is the patient.
 	Backstage, when Kermit tries giving a compliment to Rowlf, Miss Piggy says that they must have used every dumb Hawaiian joke in the book. The Hawaiian pig takes offense to this, and tells Piggy, "You'll be hearing from my friends on Noman!" When Kermit asks where Noman is, the pig replies, "Noman is an island."
 	Fozzie's Comedy Acts: Fozzie can't find a lady to saw in half for his magician's act, so he uses Otto. As Fozzie saws, Albert Flan warns him to watch the main power cables, a warning which comes a bit too late as that is exactly what Fozzie cuts into. Otto explodes again, and Fozzie gets electrocuted.
 	Sylvester and the Muppets sing "A Bird in a Gilded Cage" at a bar. The song brings everyone, including Statler and Waldorf, in tears.
 	At the closing, Sylvester hopes he didn't hurt the talking punching bag earlier. The bag is fine, and even comes on to ask for "one for old time's sake."
==Notes==
* This episode was used for a scene in Rocky III to illustrate the celebrity of the Rocky character. The opening was re-dubbed by Jim Henson so that Kermit says the guest-star was Rocky Balboa instead of Stallone.
==Cast==
Muppets:
:Kermit, Scooter, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Rowlf, Statler and Waldorf, Dr. Teeth, Link Hogthrob, Animal, Sam the Eagle, Professor Albert Flan, Otto the Automatic Entertainer, Janice, Sundance, Floyd Pepper, Zoot, Beauregard, Quongo, Groupies, Punching Bag, Clams, Pigs, Annie Sue, Tiki Idol, Penguins, Whatnots
Background Muppets:
:Eric the Parrot, Shirley, Doris, Duke, Harvey, Clyde, Zelda Rose, Gonzo, Wayne, Beautiful Day Monster
==Performers==
:Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Waldorf, Rowlf, Dr. Teeth and Link Hogthrob
:Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear, Animal, Miss Piggy and Sam the Eagle
:Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Professor Albert Flan, Punching Bag, Tiki Idol, Centurions, Clam, Pig and the Announcer
:Richard Hunt as Scooter, Janice, Statler, Pig and Penguin
:Dave Goelz as Sundance, Gonzo, Zoot, Beauregard, Otto the Automatic Entertainer, Groupie, Clam and Pig
:Steve Whitmire as Pig, Groupie and Clam
:Louise Gold as Annie Sue Pig, Groupie and Clam
:Kathryn Mullen as Groupie
==Gallery==
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