Count Dankula

Markus Meechan (born: ), better known online as Count Dankula, or just Dankula and Dank, and GIANT PENIS (parody)https://twitter.com/CountDankulaTV is a Scottish YouTuber from Coatbridge known for his social and political commentaries, and his series "Absolute Mad Lads".
==Early life==
Markus Meechan was born on October 17th, 1987 in Coatbridge, Scotland, United Kingdom. According to Meechan, he spent his adolescence skateboarding around various parts of Scotland. In the documentary "Nazi Pug: Joke or Hate" Meechan states that Coatbridge was a dying town ever since the coal mines had shut down. He also stated that most of the residents in Coatbridge were emos and skateboarders who listened to rock, heavy metal and also spent too much time on the computer.
==Content==
Meechan's channel was originally intended to be a shitpost channel where he would post random memes and short skits with him and his friends. Before he gained notoriety, he supposedly had around 8 subscribers. Meechan currently hosts a series entitled "Absolute Mad Lads", which addresses historical figures (e.g: Tarrare), war heroes (e.g: Mad Jack Churchill, Wojtek the battle bear), criminals (e.g: Luke Helder, Killdozer) and other miscellaneous figures/events (e.g: Bumfights, Evel Knievel).
Meechan has a second channel called "Count Dankula 2: Electric Boogaloo", which focuses very heavily on political and other miscellaneous content.
===Absolute Mad Lads===
Below is a list of the current Absolute Mad Lads videos which have been posted to Meechan's channel. (As of November 25, 2023)
*Dragonlord TRILOGY
*General Butt Naked 
*Purple Aki
*Mad Jack Churchhill
*The CatMan Of Greenock
*Alcibiades
*The BumFights Krew
*Lorena Bobbit
*KillDozer
*Shoko Asahara 
*Sawney Bean
*Franz Schmidt
*White Death
*Roof Koreans
*Chopper
*The Ice Cream War
*Simon Mann
*Burke And Hare
*The Naked Rambler
*GG Allin
*Tarrare, The Human Stomach
*Bob Ross
*The Dogmeat General, Zhang Zongchang
*Uday Hussein
*John "Smeato" Smeaton
*Al Capone
*Albert Dryden
*Billy The Kid
*Evel Knievel
*Ken Allen, The Hairy Houdini
*Dread Pirate Roberts
*The Meth Tank Rampage
*Sky King
*Ricardo Lopez, The Bjork Stalker
*Cher Ami, The Invincible Pigeon
*Rags The War Dog
*Wojtek The Battle Bear
*The Glencoe Massacre
*Grigori Perelman, The Mad Mathematician
*Who Is Longmont Potion Castle?
*Gary Plauche
*The Mad Dog, Xu Xiaodong
*Count Dankula
*Gotz Of The Iron Hand
*Heaven's Gate
*The UFO Hacker, Gary McKinnon
*The Master Thief, Gerald Blanchard
*Blackbeard
*Dr Chaos
*The Mini KillDozer
*The Gombe Chimpanzee War
*Rasputin
*The Conspiracy TV Takeovers
*The Smiley Face Bomber
*Don Alejo Garza Tamez
*The General
*The North Hollywood Shootout
*The Nightmare POW, Charles Hazlitt Upham
*The Video Game Lawyer, Jack Thompson
*Gustave The Maneater
*The King So Strong, He Broke A Country
*The Invincible Man The Mafia Couldn't Kill, Iron Mike Malloy
*Andre The Giant
*Mariya Oktyabrskaya
*Buster Keaton
*The Man Who Trolled Psychology, Gert Postel
*Ned Kelly
*The Battle Of Athens
*Budd Dwyer
*Olga Of Kiev
*Vlad The Impaler
*The Blood Countess, Elizabeth Bathory
*The Consensual Cannibal, Armin Meiwes
*Aleister Crowley
*Sir Christopher Lee
*Johnny Rotten
*The Red Baron
*Philip Luty
*Gregor MacGregor
*Mitsuyasu Maeno
*Mark Defriest
*Helge Meyer
*Bonnie and Clyde
*Rene Jalbert
*The Binman Who Won The Lottery, Michael Carrol
*The Mad Surgeon, Robert Liston
*The Worlds Most Violent Wrestler, New Jack
*The Washington Sniper
*Murder Incorporated
*The Alaskan Avenger
*War Machine
*The Psychotic Billionaire Who Tried To Take Over The World, Frank Amodeo
*The Cult Leader Who Ra[DACTED] Everyone, Adnan Oktar 
*The Great Nordic Biker War
*The Singing, Swordfighting, S*x Hound - Julie d'Aubigny
*Ted Kaczynski
*The ISIS Hunter, Abu Tahsin al-Salhi
*Chalino Sanchez
*The Alien Protester, Frank Chu
*Lauri Allen Torni
*Timothy Dexter
*The Guvnor, Lenny McLean
*The Krays
*Kevin Mitnick
*Charlie "Z-Money" Zelenoff
*Marianne Bachmeier
*Rob Roy
*Otoya Yamaguchi
*Helen Duncan
*Issei Sagawa
*Raoul Moat
*Emperor Norton
*Phoenix Jones
*The Yama-Ichi War
*Bartley Gorman
*John McAfee
*Jonestown
*Karl Koch
*Ruby Ridge
*Spymaster Garbo
===Reactions===
Even though most of the people Mark made videos on are dead (due to him mostly choosing people from decades ago to make videos on) some people have reacted to his videos on them. 
==== Simon Mann ====
Simon Mann responded favourably to the video Mark had made about him, and allowed Mark to interview him, where he pointed out and corrected several factual errors Mark had made in the videohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kju6_EwQjVM.
====Xu Xiaodong====
His video on Xu Xiaodonghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOKv5UaZ1_w&ab_channel=CountDankula received thanks and appreciation from the Mad Dog himself. He commented under the video "这位国外的朋友你好，我是xu xiao dong 徐晓冬，感谢你的介绍请允许我叫你兄弟，兄弟你好，我有太多太多的话想说！！！我先简单的说说我这几年经历～ 
1-我的公众账号微博被没有违规的情况下封了20次！到现在今天！我的名字在中国的所有视频平台，所有的中国网站，都不能搜到我的名字！
2-我很多次被不明身份的人在不同的地方围堵过！ 
3-我的脸不能出现在网络上！我只能化妆！才能发视频！我自己的微信平台都不能发我自己的脸！ 
4- 我被特殊的人找过谈话，训诫！我的爸爸妈妈也被特殊人到我爸妈家，特殊告诫过！这让我很愤怒💢！但我不能做什么……因为…… 
5-那些武术骗子起诉我，居然胜诉，我花了26万人民币，去上网络道歉！那时法院不让我坐飞机✈️！不让我坐高铁！不让我住3星以上酒店！禁止我高消费，我打武术骗子吕刚，我坐了40个小时火车到新疆！ 
6: 我的拳馆被查消防🧯！工商！城管！等等等！我愤怒，所以2019年我把拳馆卖了！ 
7:我现在自己花钱在全国各地办拳友见面会，就是要告诉大家真相！我不是坏人！骗子是它们！ 7:我和我家人全部被我有关部门调查过！银行账户，海外关系，等等等！
8:它们指挥油管上的它们的狗，骂我诋毁我！
9：我现在无法办银行信用卡！它们处处限制我！
10：中国武术中有太多太多假大师！我打假大师，没想到它们会陷害我，它们到处诋毁我，说我是汉奸，卖国贼，等等等，真的好可笑，但这就是我们这里的现实！我是中国人我爱我的家乡，但现在我认为我的国家病了……我很伤心，但我依然爱我的国家，我的亲人，我的朋友！我感谢你的信任，我想我会和你一起吃烤肉的！也请给我们大部分中国人信心，我们都是好人！我们都是朋友！对不起，我不能说太多，你懂的。最后，兄弟祝你一切顺利，兄弟保重。(Hi Mark, I am Xiaodong Xu (徐晓冬) Please allow me to call you brother. There is too much I’ve been dying to tell the whole world. Let me just tell you a little about what I have been through over the years.
1.	20 of my Weibo (Chinese version of twitter) accounts have been suspended for no reason. Up until now, my face and my name have been completely censored in China. You cannot find me anywhere on the internet within Chinese borders. There’s no way you could find any trace of me on any Chinese website or social platform. 
2.	I’ve been confronted and corned by hostile people for too many times that I can’t count. 
3.	Since I have been totally censored, the only way to post videos about me is that I have to appear with camouflage on my face, or just blur it… I can’t even use my own picture for my Wechat profile. 
4.	My parents and I have been summoned multiple times by some “special people”. They “educated” us in a very “friendly” and “gentle” way, and that makes me very upset. However, there was nothing I can do about it...if you know what I mean. 
5.	Some fake martial artists sued me for exposing them, and to my surprise, they won! I had to pay them ¥260,000 (38,410 USD in 2020) and apologize publicly. The sentence forbade me to travel by plane or high-speed rail. They forbade me to live in a decent hotel. It took me 40 hours to get to Xin Jiang to fight that fraud Gang Lv. 
6.	My Dojo was under investigations for strange reasons from several law enforcement agencies or government departments: fire departments, commercial agencies, police…you name it… that really pissed me off, so I sold my dojo last year! 
7.	Now I am hosting fan meetups all over the country at my own expense, just to let everyone know that I am not the bad guy here! Scums and frauds are all over, but I am not one of them! 
8.	“Some entities” have been conducting investigations on me and my family, going through my bank accounts, network overseas, etc. to determine if I am a traitor to the motherland… 
9.	They even pay people to trash talk me online, spreading rumors and negative comments about me all over the internet. 
10.	I could not even apply for a debit or credit card in China! Can you believe it? 
11.	There are too many fake Kong Fu masters out here in China. I expose their frauds. I fight them in the ring, fair and square. And they trash talk me, backstab me or even frame me for being a traitor. 
Ridiculous! This is the reality I am living in. I am Chinese and I love my country, my hometown, even though my country is very very sick right now. Mark, my friend, thank you so much for trusting me. I really appreciate all your support! Believe me that most of the Chinese are very nice. Please keep putting your trust in my people. We are all good people! We could all be friends! Sorry I could not say too much because of the censorship and all. I wish one day I could meet you and buy you barbeque dinner. My brother, please take care. I wish you the best!)"
====David Gersten ====
David Gersten loved Dankula's episode on Ken and told him about omitted footage of him playing the guitar to Ken the orangutan.https://twitter.com/CountDankulaTV/status/1232305026602762241
== Collaborations ==
Dankula has collaborated with Paul Joseph Watson and Sargon during his UKIP career.
He has appeared on several podcasts such as The Fatherless Podcast,https://youtu.be/r3ZUN1UIPm4 Lewd Front Podcast,https://youtu.be/572SeOQRzDI The Official Podcast,https://youtu.be/43bQOSP_jpI and SomeOrdinaryPodcast.https://youtu.be/jTs0dGY0Sgg
==Quotes==
*"My girlfirend is always ranting and raving about how cute and adorable her wee dog is, so I decided to ruen him into the least cute thing I could think of, which is a Nazi."
*"I'm not a racist, by the way; I just really wantred to piss her off."
*"But before we get into the Mad Lad, it's your boy, Raid: Shadow Legends!"
*"You've made this guy look like the most budget Tokyo Ghoul cosplay that I've ever seen"https://youtu.be/AOKv5UaZ1_w?t=1390
*"In the business, we call this foreshadowing."
== Trivia ==
*His wife, Suzanne Kelly, known online as Sue Hulk, runs a cooking channel. Their daughter, Sadie, was born on March 17th, 2021. Their second daughter, Morag, was born on 26th March 2023.
*He has two pugs; Buddha, the subject of his infamous video "m8 yer dugs a nazi", and Bronson, who was the subject of the video "M8 Yer Dugs In BLM".
*He likes anime and Korean movies, especially Oldboy (2003).
*He formerly worked as a bouncer.https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FTzlblBXoAEYMQ-?format=jpg&name=medium
*He considers Uday Hussein to be the absolute worst Mad Lad he's ever talked about.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3OUJgs9pnk&t=2457s
*He is a libertarian and is in the Scottish Libertarian Party
==References==
Category:Commentary YouTubers
Category:Comedy YouTubers
Category:News YouTubers
Category:Book-narrating YouTubers
Category:Scottish YouTubers
Category:Users who joined in 2015