Transcript:Horrid Henry and the Football Fiend

(The scene shows Henry watching the football match)
TV commentator: And with seconds to go, it's Perkins for Ashton Athletic.
Horrid Henry: Come on, Perky! (laughs)
TV commentator: He's been (unintelligible)— He shoots! He scores!
Horrid Henry: (holds Fluffy while being excited) Wa-HAY! We won! We won! Ashton Athletic! Ashton Athletic! (throws Fluffy and catches her)
TV commentator: With an amazing last minute goal, Ashton Athletic has beaten Tootin' Tigers to go through to the next round of the F.A. Cup, against the mighty, the legendary, Manchester United!
Horrid Henry: WA-HAY!
(Title card shows)
Horrid Henry: Pleaaaaase. I have to order the tickets today, or there won't be any left!
Mum: Henry. I told you last night you are not going all the way to Manchester on your own.
Horrid Henry: Please!?
Mum: You can watch it on telly. Now, sit up and eat.
Horrid Henry: I don't understand. (sits on the chair) Asthon Athletic are playing Man U.
Perfect Peter: What's a 'Man U'?
Horrid Henry: Silence, worm.
Dad: Don't be horrid, Henry.
Horrid Henry: But, Dad, I've got to get a ticket!
Dad: Oh? And how exactly do you intend to pay for it?
Horrid Henry: Um... pocket money?
Dad: Your pocket money for the next three months is spoken for.
Horrid Henry: So, that's a 'no', then?
Dad: Definitely.
Horrid Henry: You're the meanest, most horrible parents in the whole world!
(The scene changes to outside, with Henry walking to school)
Horrid Henry: Parents never understand anything important.
Aerobic Al: (rides on his bike) Morning, Henry!
Mrs Battle-Axe: Argh! (her bag can be seen thrown up in the air) Oh, my bag! (Henry catches it) That's mine! (while Henry gives the bag to her, she kindly has it) Oh, thank you, young man.
Horrid Henry: Grown-ups. (sighs)
(In Henry's imagination; crowd cheers 'HENRY!')
Horrid Henry: (imagionation) And with fifteen seconds to go, Henry races across the pitch! Surely he can't score from that distance. It's crazy! It's impossible! HE'S DONE IT! IT'S IN! Henry scores the winning goal for Ashton Athletic! Must get hold for some tickets. Tickets.
(Henry's imagination finishes)
Horrid Henry: Tickets!
Miss Battle-Axe: Now, listen, class. We've been lucky enough to be given two tickets for the Ashton Athletic-Manchester United match.
Horrid Henry: Me!
Moody Margaret: Me!
Aerobic Al: Me!
(everyone together) Me!
Miss Battle-Axe: Quiet. I have decided that the class will play a football match at lunch time. Margaret and Al will be captains. And, the player of the match will get the tickets.
Horrid Henry: But who decides who's player of the match?
Miss Battle-Axe: Me, Henry. And my decision is final.
(The scene shows the kids outside the school)
Rude Ralph: No way, Henry. I'm not going to let you score, just so that you can be player of the match.
Horrid Henry: Why not? You're Moody Margaret's goalkeeper. It'll be easy.
Rude Ralph: Yeah! But how can I be player of the match if I let you score?
Horrid Henry: Don't be stupid! We all know the best player's going to be.
(Margaret kicks a football)
Sour Susan: Have you decided who you're going to take with you, Margaret?
Moody Margaret: No. I'll decide later. (kicks the football)
Horrid Henry: See? We haven't got a chance.
Rude Ralph: But if I let you score, it'll be cheating!
Miss Battle-Axe: Come along, children. Take your positions.
Horrid Henry: Just remember rule no. 7 of the Purple Hand Gang: members must always obey the Lord High Excellent Majesty. That's me.
Rude Ralph: But...
Horrid Henry: And if I do win, I'll obviously return the favour.
Rude Ralph: You mean... you'll take me?
Horrid Henry: You see, Ralph, it's not so hard, is it?
Miss Battle-Axe: Right, children. Everyone ready? (blows whistle)
Moody Margaret: (kicks the football and then tries to get a goal, but suddenly she trips over Greedy Graham) ARGH! That was a FOUL! Don't foul me AGAIN!
Horrid Henry: (tries to get the ball off Lazy Linda but fails as she pushes him) HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!
Moody Margaret: Susan! To me! Pass! PASS!
(Henry and Susan battle to get the ball, but it then gets interrupted by Miss Battle-Axe's whistling)
Miss Battle-Axe: Utterly disgraceful! Football is supposed to be a team sport, not a pack of hooligans with no respect for the rules. Ugh, let's try again, shall we?
(Henry ties Margaret's shoelaces together)
Moody Margaret: (loses balance and trips) Oh! HENRY!
(Henry laughs)
Moody Margaret: Why didn't you pass the ball to me!?
Sour Susan: Uh, have you decided who you're taking to the game yet?
Moody Margaret: All right, I'll take you!
(Miss Battle-Axe blows the whistle)
Horrid Henry: Yes! (kicks the ball; the ball hits Al and William. Everyone else screams)
Moody Margaret: Here! (kicks the ball right through the goal)
(Moody Margaret's team together) GOAL!
Miss Battle-Axe: (blows whistle) Goal to Margaret's team. 1-nil.
Horrid Henry: Ha! We'll see about that. (gives a thumbs up to Ralph. Ralph gives a thumbs up back)
(Miss Battle-Axe blows the whistle yet again)
Horrid Henry: Gurinder! Over here!
Gorgeous Gurinder: (the ball hits her face) Argh!
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