Blond

Blond is a couple consisting of Louis and Lily Bloom.
__NOEDITSECTION____TOC__
"We have sex!" — Louis Bloom
==General Information==
Mr. and Mrs. Bloom, both LSPD Lieutenants, have been married for years. They have been described as "the healthiest relationship in PD", PD's "power couple, and a "solid 8.5, 9 out of 10 coupleClip: Blond are a cute couple", and their bond is admired by friends and coworkers alike.
Bloom considers Lily a much better person than himself, and often comments on this to others, expressing his shock that she's with a guy like him. He appreciates her deeply, both as a person and as an influence on his life.
"I married her because she makes me a better human beingClip: Bloom says his wife makes him a better person." — Louis Bloom
The couple are sometimes referred to as "the Blooms", or by their ship name, Blond. They have a long-standing and committed relationship, and will occasionally invite women to sleep with them as their third to spice things up every once in a while. Louis usually defers to his wife on arranging their threesomes, directing any interested parties to speak with her. Connie McDowell has joined them in their RV, Sloan Morgan has been given an invitation, and others have expressed their interest such as Eveline MeijerClip: Meijer asks Bloom if he's into threesomes.
The two have an openly affectionate relationship, and regularly make sweet and/or sexual comments towards or about each other in publicClip: Louis calls his wife a goddessClip: Bloom jokes about being 'in' his wifeClip: Bloom tells Metz about his magnetic penisClip: Lily sucks, and allude to sleeping together at the city's various police stationsClip: Bloom insinuates that he and his wife will be getting busy in the Vespucci PD bunks. The couple are known for their strange and objectifying nicknames for each other, such as "my personal prostitute", "my indisposable meat sock", and “my unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks". However, Louis primarily refers to her as "Lilypad", "honey", or "sugardick/sugar booger".
Bloom gets frustrated when he is not given the opportunity to play the gentleman for Lily, including opening car doors for her. He also often impersonates her accent, pushing his voice to shrill heights and poorly imitating the wrong regional British dialectClip: Louis imitates Lily's accentClip: Louis' Lily impression, to everyone's amusement.
Bloom holds a strong ethical position on the word "love", describing it as "toxic as fuck" and "trash", and referring to the "negative connotations" it carries. He reacts with revulsion when people suggest he should use the term about his wife, questioning "why the fuck [he would] ever say that to her." However, he does make it clear that he feels strongly about her when others question him, clarifying that he "[cares] for [his] wife dearly" and would "literally die for her"Clip: Louis clarifies his feelings about his wife. Louis claims that he's never told Lily that he loves her, expressing confusion and idignation at the suggestion that he should have. This belief stems from his childhood, where he witnessed his father's abuse towards his motherClip: Bloom describes his feelings about the L wordLouis doesn't use the L word. Lily does not take issue with her husband's aversion to the L wordClip: the Blooms are grossed out by the L word, dismissing it when raised and saying "oh we haven't cared about that in 10 years." Instead of using the L word, the Blooms exchange phrases like "you're the coolest, honey."
==History==
Louis Bloom met his wife, Lily Bloom (formerly Lily Pond), prior to their work as police officers in Vice City. They've been together for around a decade, and tied the knot on August 19th, 2015 after 2-ish years of dating.
Louis used to be terrified of marriage, but being with Lily made him go for it anyway. He was the one to propose, in a private moment by a lake at a romantic gazebo which he definitely built all on his own. When telling the story, Bloom emphasises that he didn't panic at all, and was completely calm and collected when he got down on one knee.
A few weeks after moving to Los Santos in December of 2023, Louis surprised his wife for her birthday with a marriage certificate recognising their union in the state of San Andreas and a name change form, enabling Lily to adopt the Bloom name as her own thanks to the help of Mayor Sean Deane and Governor Jerry Callow, in addition to workers at the DMV. He also organised a fireworks display immediately afterwards, which delighted her.
On May 24th, 2024 the Blooms' dogs, Petal and River reunited with the couple.
==Members==
File:Sergeant Louis Bloom.png|link=Louis Bloom|Louis Bloom:Husband
File:Lily Pond.jpg|link=Lily Bloom|Lily Bloom:Wife
==References==