The Funniest Parts of Wings of Fire

Anyone can edit this. What you do is you write a funny quote from Wings of Fire that you really like under a book's heading. Please do not edit anyone else's quote! Put a space between quotes, and put four dashes there, please, so we can tell quotes apart!
Make sure to type where it says [type here] (not where I just typed it!) and not anywhere else, unless you are correcting grammar, spelling, etc.
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== The Dragonet Prophecy ==
"[Sunny] cares [about the way we get treated]," Starflight said defensively. "She just doesn't whine about it."
"Yowch," said Glory.
Tsunami whirled around to glare at Starflight, her gills pulsing. "Say that to my face."
"I am saying it to your face," he said. "Or was I saying it to your rear end? It's easy to get the two confused." He ducked behind Clay before Tsunami could even bare her teeth at him.
----"Dirt!" Clay yelled suddenly. "I'm standing on dirt!"
Tsunami sat up to look at him. "Yay?" She said.
"It's amazing!" Clay cried. "Feel how soft it is!" He seized a handful of dirt and flung it at Tsunami.
== The Lost Heir ==
"There's a tree," Starflight said, jumping up. "In the forest."
"No way," Glory said. "A tree? In the forest?"
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“Great,” Glory said. “How about a trail of cow parts, too? And a map of where we’re going? Or perhaps we could set this part of the forest on fire, just to make sure everyone knows how to find us. Would you like me to spell out ‘DRAGONETS WUZ HERE’ in giant rocks?”
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Panic.
Screaming.
For a palace surrounded by water, it was surprising how much caught on fire so quickly.
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"Is that [your/Tsunami's] egg? Wow, they work fast in the Kingdom of the Sea. Who's the lucky father[or, implied Tsunami's husband]?" [Glory said]
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"We are NOT calling it 'Magical death spit." [Glory said]
== The Hidden Kingdom ==
"[Webs] did nothing of the sort!" Glory flared. "I brought myself back! He was going to let me die!"
"Glory," Tsunami interrupted with a frown. "What are you doing?"
“Scrolls,” Jambu said. “Um. Those are . . . ?” Starflight looked as if someone had just asked him whether breathing was really necessary. (Brought to you by Questioning2)
“I volunteer,” Clay said. “I’m a world champion at sitting on my friends.” (Brought to you by Questioning2)
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(Type here)
== The Dark Secret ==
"Ooof," [Fatespeaker] said.
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Morrowseer looked down at [Fatespeaker] coldly. ''Prophecies can be complicated.'' 
Ooh, good comeback, Fatespeaker said. I should write that down and use it on Viper.
== The Brightest Night ==
"[Blister's] looking for you pretty seriously," Riptide said. "You probably just have to stand out in the open for a day and she'll land on you."
"Right, sure," Tsunami answered. "Except we're trying to do this in a not-ending-up-dead way."
"Fair enough," he said. "Good idea. I support that plan."
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"Stay camouflaged as much as you can the whole way there [...] and then you come home. Right away. Understand?" [Glory said.]
"Yup," said Mangrove. "We still understand. Like we did five minutes ago when you last explained it. And five minutes before that. And—"
"All right, go away," Glory said, flicking her tongue out at them.
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As soon as their tails had disappeared, Sunny turned to Clay. "Ready?"
"Sure," Clay said. "I mean, I've eaten breakfast. What else do I need to do? Oooh, maybe some more breakfast. That's a good idea."
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"Hey, I'm just making sure the queen is safe," [Deathbringer] said, spreading his wings.
"The queen can take care of herself," Glory pointed out. "Out of the two dragons in question, the queen happens to be the one with camouflage scales who can shoot venom. What can you do again? Sit in the dark, is that it? Guess what, I can do that too." Inky black spilled across her scales and she looked down her snout at him.
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"Apparently he's my bodyguard now. Not that anyone asked him to be, ahem," [Glory said.]
"It's true, I did have to fight my way past a whole pack of volunteers," [Deathbringer] mused mockingly. "Oh, no, wait. It's just me. The only dragon who cares if you live or die."
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“Really? Are you dying?” “I’m always dying,” he answered, which made Sunny want to poke him in the nose. She honestly had no idea why her mother had ever liked this dragon.
== Moon Rising ==
"You can always kill [Kinkajou]."
[Moon is surprised]
"Ha ha, evil dragon, right?" ["the voice that is Darkstalker" said]
"That wasn't funny." [Moon thought]
"Okay then, I'll wait another two thousand years to make jokes about my evilness."
———————————————-
”CHICKENS, GIVE UP! WE ARE GOING TO EAT YOU! THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! STOP RUNNING AWAY RIGHT NOW!”-Clay, Moon Rising, Page 36
== Winter Turning ==
"Let me guess, all your igloos look exactly the same?" Qibli asked.
"We don't live in igloos," Winter said, looking down his nose at Qibli. "Not aristocrats anyway."
"Oh that's right," Qibli said. "Didn't you say you're related to someone important?"
"Very funny," Winter said. 
…
”Hey guys, this is Riptide and Serious” Qibli said.
”CIRRUS.”
”That’s what I said.”
== Escaping Peril ==
[Clay] sounded so, so sad. Peril wanted to burst into the cave and wrap her wings around him. No, that will only hurt him more. What she should do was wrap her wings around the SkyWings who were being mean to him. Then she could watch them burn between her claws.
Now that was the kind of thought she probably shouldn't share with Clay.
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"Yes," [Peril] hissed. "I'm Queen Scarlet's notorious death monster."
[Turtle] made an odd hiccuping noise and ducked his head.
"Ah, OK. I'll just... go, then.'"
----“No,” Turtle protested. “Are you crazy? That would be even worse! What if you’re right and they're dead and I could have saved them?”
  “Really? You?” Peril said.
  “I do not APPRECIATE your skeptical tone,” he said, sounding briefly like an actual prince. “Just because I don’t particularly like danger or uncertainty or … or exercise … doesn’t mean I couldn’t be useful in a fight.”
  Peril paused, trying to figure out how to say what she wanted to say without the skeptical tone. “RrrrrrrEEEally?” she tried, infusing the word with as much enthusiastic curiosity as she could. “YOUUUUUUU?”
  Turtle burst out laughing. “You’re so weird,” he said.
----“Where are we going?” Turtle called from behind her.
  She twisted in midair to give him an incredulous look. “To kill Queen Scarlet,” she said. “Remember? There was a whole conversation a few hours ago. I’m pretty sure you were there, because I was like, ‘you’re not coming with me,’ and you were all, ‘how are you going to stop me?’ and I was all, ‘I can think of a pretty good way,’ and you were like, ‘by setting me on fire? That sounds like cutting off your tail to spite your wings,’ and I was like, ‘I could cut off YOUR tail,’ and you were all, ‘let’s just go before Ruby comes back —’ ”
  “All right,” Turtle finally interrupted. “I know all that. I mean, where are we going to kill Queen Scarlet? How do we even start looking for her? Or my sister?”
  “Oh.” Peril did a looping flip in the sky. She had searched for Scarlet for months after releasing her from Burn’s weirdling tower, with no success. What did she think would be different now?
  “The mountains?” she suggested. “Maybe we could … fly around them. A lot.”
  “Forgive me for mentioning this,” Turtle said, “but I’m getting the impression that you’re not much of a planner.”
----"'Kestrel of the SkyWings?' Cirrus said. 'Big, red, grumpy-looking?'
'You've just described fifty percent of all SkyWings,' said the MudWing sitting on top of Turtle. 'The other half is big, orange, and grumpy-looking'"
== Talons of Power ==
"OOOOOOOO," Kinkajou said, her eyes shining. "[...] We'll be an awesome team. You can be the ideas dragon and I can be the WHAM BAM SHOVE A PINEAPPLE UP [Darkstalker's] SNOUT dragon!"
"No, no, that won't work. I think his snout is enchanted," Turtle pointed out.
"To be invulnerable to pineapples?" Kinkajou asked, and burst into giggles.
Oh dear. An image of tiny, rainbow-colored Kinkajou lobbing fruit at Darkstalker popped into Turtle's head. Maybe he hadn't entirely thought through his choice of hero.
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"A really, really, really big Nightwing," Fatespeaker yelped, clutching his arm. "I haven't had any visions about this! This seems seriously vision-worthy! Powers, help me out!" She closed her eyes. "Oh, no! I see... darkness ahead!" 
"That's because you have your eyes closed, you ninny," Darkstalker said pleasantly.
[from me, Whiteout_girl)
== Darkness of Dragons ==
Peril edged a little closer and peered at [Turtle's food bowl]. "Huh," she said. "Looks like a norm-- nope!" she interrupted herself, seeing the look on [Qibli's] face. "You're right! Stupidest bowl I've ever seen! Can I join in? HEY, BOWL, YOUR SHAPE IS INANE! FOOD PROBABLY FALLS OUT OF YOU ALL THE TIME! I BET YOU DON'T EVEN STACK WELL IN CABINETS! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE THE WORST! Ooh, this is great. Let's do it every day! I feel much better."
"I don't," said Qibli (although honestly he did a little bit).
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"No!" Tsunami shouted. She stuck her claws in her ears. "No prophecies, LA LA LA FATE IS STUPID."
"Well, at least we're all being adults about this," Starflight said.
"What?" Tsunami demanded, removing her claws.
"Nothing," he said innocently.
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"Um," said Qibli, "wait. How exactly do we know [Darkstalker is] humbled and unambitious now?"
"Because it's obvious," Winter said, rolling his eyes. "It's not like he immediately demanded to be made king of the NightWings or anything."
With impeccable comic timing, the slate in Qibli's pouch gave a little jump. He waited until no one was looking at him anymore, then pulled it out and hid it under his desk. He could see a message from Turtle appearing on the surface, agonizingly slowly.
DARKSTALKER WANTS TO BE NIGHTWING KING. NIGHTWINGS DECIDING WHAT THEY WANT.
Qibli nearly laughed, but he didn't want to draw attention to the slate.
And also, it was too terrifying to be funny.
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"This is bad," said Winter.
"DO YOU THINK SO?" Qibli shouted.
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"Yes, but," said Qibli, "if you're going to send out a cry for help, shouldn't it be a USEFUL cry for help? With ANY information in it? Such as maybe for instance WHERE THE MOONSBLASTED CAMEL-LICKING NIGHT KINGDOM IS???"
"Ohhhhhh," Winter said, looking at the message again. "You're right. He doesn't mention that."
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"[Winter] thinks the mountains are going to eat him," Qibli said
----[type here]
== Darkstalker (Legends) ==
"I think you should teach me glassblowing," Whiteout said, "and I should teach you clarity."
"WHAT. Is she being ironic?" Listener asked Clearsight.
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“Tangerine,” Whiteout said. “Probability. Spelunking.”
"OK, now you’re literally just saying random words,” Listener said.
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[type here]
== Prisoners ==
[Fierceteeth, to StrongWings] "Right, as if you were fast enough to catch a Mango. I'd like to see that."
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== Assassin ==
[type here]
== Deserter ==
[type here]
== Runaway ==
[type here]
Category:Miscellaneous
Category:Public
Category:Content (Qibli77)
Category:Genre (Comedy)