The Rocco Sanchez Show/Episode 1

The Rocco Sanchez Show Episode 1
:Announcer: It's the Rocco Sanchez Show!
Rocco Sanchez stumbles onto the show obviously drunk while fanfare plays. He trips into the host desk, breaking it.
Antonio pops out from a chair as the audience claps. A new desk is pushed into shot as Rocco sleeps on it.
:Antonio: Wake up. We're doing the show.
:Rocco: Oh right, yeah. HEY EVERYONE!
:Antonio: What?
:Rocco: We're gonna review some games.
:Antonio: That's cool.
:Rocco: No it's not. Shut FK up.
:Antonio: What are we reviewing?
Rocco is hit in the head by a copy of Peter Pika.
:Rocco: Not this game.
Rocco hands it to Antonio, who opens it up to find a cheeseburger and looks at it in confusion. Rocco regurgitates a disc.
:Rocco: GRAB GLOVE PLATFORM PANIC!!
:Rocco: This game is a simple game so far. Azarak, the white angel, decades after the War of Claudous, has been living in peace for the past several decades. Ziniba, a fallen angel who betrayed Azarak during the war, has been plotting her revenge on Azarak ever since she was banished to earth. She has planned to invade Claudous with the rest of the fallen angels, and murder Azarak. 
:Antonio: That's the wrong game, dude.
:Rocco: What game is this?
:Antonio: Azarak: The Everlasting Storm.
:Rocco: Oh. 
:Antonio: So what do you rate it? 
:Rocco: Adults Only.
:Antonio: That's f***ed up.
:Rocco: You're f***ed up.
Rocco grabs a golf club and slams it into Antonio's face, ripping it off.
:Rocco: FROM YOUR BLOOOUUUUD
Rocco pulls out Ultra DK from Antonio's neck hole and begins to sing a off-key song.
:Rocco: ♫ Donkey Kong is napping at his house when Funky Kong wakes him up claiming that 4 kongs are kidnapped! DK then jumps out the door (lands painfully on the ground after the 25 ft. drop) and goes off to save his friends. On the way there Wrinkly Kong stops him, gives him a toutoral and starts going off again, before being stopped my Cranky. Cranky explanes that he saw three Kritters run away with the kongs, and saw one go to the jungle. He also says that Lanky Kong went out for a walk, and never came back. DK sets out to save his friends. ♩
Antonio comes out from behind the desk.
:Antonio: ♫After rescuing Diddy Kong, Dixie Kong, and Kiddy Kong, Donkey Kong and his friends are captured by the Manky Kongs, who have made Lany Kong their king. Lanky Kong helps the others escape and they meet Shady Kong who wants to kill Diddy for stealing Dixie from him. He and his brother Blood Kong challange the kongs to go into their lair. After defeating Shady Kong, King K. Rool appears to fight the Kongs. The kongs defeat him and they all go back home. ♩
:Rocco: OH OH OH!
Rocco gets out a bat and attempts to hit his feet as the tape cuts out.
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