Night Of The Goblin

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha, greetings kiddies.  GORE JUST IN TIME!  I'm just getting my car worked on at ADVANCED AUTO BODY PARTS aha!  This is gonna really cost me AN ARM AND A LEG too.  Well, now that you're EAR, here's a tale that you'll all be GOBLIN DOWN hee-hee-hee-hee...
A trailer gleamed in the light of the moon out, in Iowa, back in Spring, 1968.  An older man was sitting in his lawn chair by the trailer, drinking a bottle of Cutty Sark Scotch Whiskey.  "Tonight is The Night Of The Goblin, Fan" he told a hippie teenager who emerged from the trailer just then.  "Yeah Dad, what's your ghost story about?" Fan wondered to him.  "Well, the goblin crosses dimensions through that mirror that I own on this night the man who I bought it from told me.  So, we'll all wait and see ha!" Fan's Dad went on, laughing.  "Groovy!" Fan added.  
A teenage boy snuck around the trailer from the back, aiming a pistol at Fan's Dad.  "Alright Professor Pinecock, I stole the mirror you're talking about man!" he yelled at Fan's Dad.  "Oh, Dad, look out!" Fan screamed.  "Hold it, don't pull that trigger son!!" Professor Pinecock begged him.  But, the teen did, shooting him in his ankle.  He and Fan screamed and the teenage boy fled in a truck with the big mirror in the back of it.  He drove on the country-road and stalled suddenly.  "Ah come on man, no more gas!" the teen protested, hitting the steering-wheel.  As the thief got out of his truck and jogged on foot through a nearby woods, a badger-like goblin emerged from the mirror.  The monster sniffed the air and laughed deeply, scurrying into the woods in its brown cloak and cap.  
It reached the teen and growling at him.  "I smelled ye scent and pursued ye.  Fore ye have stolen thee mirror and harmed its owner" the goblin barked out at him.  Its yellow eyes shifted around and the teen shot at it in its clawed-hands.  Yellow-slime oozed from them and the goblin slashed his throat with its black-claws, killing him.  The pink-fleshed monster then tore into the forehead of the body in the dark, with its black fangs, growling away.  
Professor Pinecock was on crutches inside the trailer one day, as a record of "Turn! Turn! Turn!" By The Byrds was playing on a record-player.  "Mr. Pinecock sir, I'm Deputy McNulty how do you do?" a cop who knocked at the screen-door called.  "Oh, Deputy McNulty fine thanks" Professor Pinecock anwered.  "Good.  We have located the mirror and remains of the teen who shot you two nights ago sir" the cop revealed.  Professor Pinecock peeked outside and saw a skeleton in the teen's clothes on a gurney.  
That teen sure to a couple SHOTS AT IT, but got caught in the middle of a CLAWS in the end eh, Kiddies?  That's what he gets for stealing that FEAR I mean MIRROR heh-heh.  Well, my car's all RE-SCARED, and they even threw in a COMPLIMENTARY TERROR-FRESHENER aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!