Passionfruit's World Peace/Transcript

(A green background with the title "Liam the Leprechaun in...Passionfruit's World Peace appears. Irish music on bagpipes plays. The title disappears and Passion Fruit is seen on a kitchen counter with the pot of gold)
Passionfruit: Wow! Cool! A pot of gold! I can donate this money to the Mothers Against Cruelty to Fruits and Vegetables Foundation.
(Liam the Leprechaun appears)
Liam: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold yer horses there, missy! That there be my pot o' gold. I was just, uh, takin' a nap, that's all.
Passion: Oh. Okay. Here you go.
Liam: I won't harm you if you...Wait. What?
Passion: I believe you. It's not my gold. So, here you go, Mr. Leprechaun.
Liam: You know that I'm a leprechaun?
Passion: Of course I do. You're wearing all green, short, and, honestly, you're pretty cute, too.
Liam: Well, I'll be a monkey's cousin twice removed! You're the finest fruit I've ever met in all me days! I tell ye what. I'll still give ye three wishes for that there pot o' gold. What do you say?
Passion: Oh. Well, you don't have to do that.
Liam: I insist.
Passion: Okay. Sure. If you want to.
Liam: Well, what be yer first wish, Ms. Passionfruit?
Passion: World peace.
Liam: Well...What now?
Passion: I wish for world peace. You know, an end to all violence, hunger, fear, and generally all bad things.
Liam: Oh. So you're comin' right at it again with world peace. Don't want to work yer way up? Maybe start with a new shade of lipstick?
Passion: Nah. I'll just stick with world peace.
Liam: Right! Okay? (Quietly to himself) No problem, Liam. You can do this. World peace. (He looks up at Passion) You got it!
(A cloud of black smoke covers the screen. The only sound heard is the sound of whistling wind. The smoke disappears and a shot of Passion in black and white is shown with subtitles at the bottom of the screen reading, "What happened? I don't hear anything!" A shot of Liam in black and white is shown with subtitles that read, "Uhhhhhhhhhh... That's the world peace you asked for! Congratulations! You saved the world!" Passion's subtitles read, "That's not what I meant and you know it!" Liam's subtitles read, "Check it out! Everything we say gets translated into these giant letters down here! Now that's pretty cool!" Passion's subtitles read, "You need to fix this! I like being able to hear things!" Liam's subtitles read, "You have to use your second wish to do that! Sorry. :(". Passion's subtitles read, "Figures >:( I wish to un-wish my last wish!" Liam's subtitles read, "You got it!" The background, Liam, and Passion are restored to color)
Liam: Hello? Hello? Great garbanzo! I did it! You have to admit. That was pretty good.
Passion: Yeah. You sure have a knack for un-wishing crummy wishes.
Liam: I'll take that as a compliment, my dear.
Passion: You really shouldn't.
Liam: And what is the lady's third and final wish?
Passion: (Rolls her eyes) Fine. I wish for a unicorn.
Liam: A unicorn! Of course! You got it!
(A corn cob appears)
Passion: You're not a unicorn.
Corn Cob: Well, "uni" means "one" and "corn" means "corn". And technically I am one ear of corn. So, uh... I don't want to be here either, lady.
Liam: (As Passion looks at Corn Cob with a grimace) Just hold on. I'm trying to fix it.
(A horse's whinny is heard and a black unicorn gallops onto the counter and stabs Corn Cob with his horn. Corn Cob screams as the unicorn gallops offscreen)
Liam: Well, Aren't ye going to try and put a saddle on yer new unicorn?
(The unicorn gallops back and runs off with the pot of gold)
Liam: Aw, crap!
(The green background appears with Liam asking, "What would you rather have? World peace or a black unicorn!? Why?" The boxes below read, "iJustine as Passionfruit", "Danboe as Corn Cob", and "BobJenz as Leprechaun" Irish music plays)
Category:Episode Transcripts