Transcripts/Harvesting Memories

:Spike: We just need you to get Twilight to remember some of her favorite times with you so this book can record them.
:Starlight Glimmer: But it's a surprise gift for her coronation, and I know you're uncomfortable not telling the truth, soooo...
:Applejack: It's true I ain't fond of lyin', but I think I can handle it in my own way.
:Spike: Just to play it safe, let's practice our way first.
:Starlight Glimmer: [imitating Twilight Sparkle] Oh, hi there, Applejack! It's always so great to see you! But why did you ask me to come out to the farm?
:Applejack: Uhhh... You see, the thing is, I need you to, uh... check the apples? I-I mean, I definitely don't need you to reminisce about some memorable times with me for any kind of magical gift or anything! [laughs nervously] Nope!
:Spike: Maybe it's better if I do the talking.
:
:Twilight Sparkle: I'm not sure I understand, Spike. Why would Applejack need me to check the apples she's using for the coronation?
:Spike: I'm sure she just wants everything to be perfect. Isn't that right, Applejack?
:Applejack: Well, uh, yes. But I have to be honest, Twilight. I—
:Spike: Speaking of honesty, what's your favorite time that Applejack was honest, Twilight?
:Twilight Sparkle: Gee, Spike, that's an odd question. And there's been a lot.
:Twilight Sparkle: [screams]
:Applejack: Hold on! I'm a-comin'!
:Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! What do I do?!
:Applejack: Let go.
:Twilight Sparkle: Are you crazy?!
:Applejack: No, I ain't. I promise you'll be safe.
:Twilight Sparkle: That's not true!
:Applejack: Now, listen here. What I'm sayin' to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you'll be safe.
:Twilight Sparkle: Yaaah!
:Applejack: Listen, y'all. I thought I was just bein' honest when I said all those things. But somepony helped me realize I was actually bein' hurtful. So for that, I apologize.
:Photo Finish: Zo! You don't think fashion is ridiculous?!
:Applejack: Uh... Well, I, uh... I still don't understand it. But I appreciate how much it means to y'all and how much hard work you put into it. I also know this contest is important to Rarity. So what do you say?
:Applejack: I hate to disappoint everypony, but there's no way Granny could have made that dive, because this tonic is a fake!
:[crowd gasps]
:"Jinx": But you gave it your stamp of approval!
:Rainbowshine: Are you saying you lied?
:Applejack: ...I am.
:[crowd gasps]
:Applejack: I didn't mean to! But everypony seemed so much happier, I couldn't bring myself to tell you when I found out the tonic wasn't real. I know it was wrong. I just hope, with time, I can win back everypony's trust.
:Applejack: [laughs] I am pretty honest.
:[chicken clucks]
:Spike: Yup. But you weren't always that way, were ya?
:Applejack: [nervous sound]
:Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I've heard that story.
:Granny Smith: Now apple blight is a serious disease!
:"Doctor Spring Bud": [splutters] Did she say... apple blight?
:"Open Heart": I think she said "gasket mites".
:Granny Smith: And once your trunk turns red like this, the only thing to do is prune the branches.
:Filthy Rich: [gasps] Oh, no! Granny!
:"Open Heart": Did you say..."prune them branches"?
:Granny Smith: Well, sure! What else you gonna do once the blight gets this bad?
:[cloth moving]
:[scare chord]
:[doctors, nurses, and audience gasping]
:Young Applejack: Everypony, just stop! This is all a big misunderstandin'! [pants] Actually... it's a big lie.
:[cloth moving]
:[doctors, nurses, and audience gasping]
:Granny Smith: Big Mac?!
:Filthy Rich: [gasps] Granny Smith?! What is goin' on here, Applejack?!
:Granny Smith: That is a darn good question.
:Young Applejack: [sighs] I'm not sure if I was worried that nopony was listenin' to my ideas or just nervous that I wouldn't be the one to end up runnin' the farm, but... I promised somethin' to Filthy Rich that I couldn't deliver, and I was too embarrassed to admit it.
:Filthy Rich: So Granny was never sick?
:Granny Smith: And there ain't no apple blighted ponies?
:Young Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
:Young Applejack: Those were all lies. A-And I thought if you found out, you'd stop doin' business with the farm. So I just kept tellin' more.
:"Hippocratic Oath": So she's not a doctor?
:Young Applejack: Please don't make Granny and the farm suffer for what I did! This whole thing is my fault.
:Applejack: I reckon what really set me against lyin' was seein' how it affected my family. And you're about as close to family as a pony can get, Twilight. That's why I need to—
:Spike: That's another thing I love about you, Applejack. Nopony loves her family more than you do. Right, Twilight?
:Twilight Sparkle: Sure. The Apples are all pretty close.
:Applejack: Found 'em!
:Granny Smith: Aaa-choooo!
:Applejack: Heh. Gesundhoof.
:Granny Smith: Why, thank you, Applejack. I still can't believe it's been almost one hundred moons since our last family reunion. Aw, I remember it like it was yesterday.
:Applejack: Well, you have been talkin' about it pretty much every day since then.
:Granny Smith: Apple Bloom! How them RSVPs comin' along? Who's showin' their muzzle at the reunion?
:Apple Bloom: Everypony!
:Granny Smith: Everypony? [aside, to Applejack] Feathers on a goat. [to Apple Bloom] Are you sure?
:Apple Bloom: Well, I got RSVPs from Apples from Yonder Hill, Hollow Shades, Galloping Gorge, Foal Mountain, Apples from Fillydelphia, Tall Tale Town, and all the Apples from Appleloosa!
:Granny Smith: Guh?
:Apple Bloom: Oh! And how could I forget? Manehattan! Babs is comin'! I get to see my favorite cousin!
:Granny Smith: I think we're gonna need a bigger cider trough.
:Applejack: Everypony knows all this stuff about me. But I have something to say—
:Spike: Ah, just look at me rambling on and on! You brought Twilight here to check the apples, and we haven't even started. Come on, Twilight!
:[door slams]
:Starlight Glimmer: Applejack, are you trying to ruin the surprise?
:Applejack: I don't see how I could. Spike won't let me get a word in edgewise!
:Spike: I think—
:Starlight Glimmer: The way Spike's getting Twilight's memories might seem dishonest, but it's working really well.
:Applejack: Don't you think Twilight'll get a mite suspicious if I just stand around while Spike does all the talkin'?
:Starlight Glimmer: I suppose you should say something, but it doesn't have to be a lie. You can talk about anything. We just need more memories.
:[door creaks]
:Applejack: What do you think?
:Twilight Sparkle: I think I still don't know what I'm supposed to be checking. You and your family have been running this farm forever. You know apples better than I ever will.
:Applejack: I, uh... I guess that's true. We have been on this farm for quite a while. This barn's been here a while, too. Though it almost wasn't.
:Twilight Sparkle: What made you tell that story?
:Applejack: Um... I suppose bein' in the barn made me think of it. Is that weird?
:Twilight Sparkle: Not any more than the way you used to do your chores.
:Spike: I've never heard that story.
:Twilight Sparkle: What are you talking about? You were there!
:Applejack: I'm sorry, but I just couldn't let those spa ponies go another minute puttin' up with problems they didn't even know they had! Somehow they just got used to a huge bottleneck of ponies standin' around waitin'. An' I took one good look at that spa jam, and I knew I had to do somethin'! Sometimes the simplest things can just derail a whole operation. [babbles] Whether it's a leaky pipe or doin' too much laundry. You can't just stick to the same old way of doin' things and expect them to get better. [clucking] I mean, thinkin' you can is just plumb ridiculous. Right? [short laugh] It's funny when you realize the extra work they were doin' was actually makin' things worse!
:[pigs squeal]
:[pigs stampeding]
:Applejack: I mean, I guess it's possible to get stuck in a routine where you're doin' all this extra stuff and not realize it, but I can't for the life of me think of how! [beat] Why are y'all starin' at me like that?
:Spike: Oh, yeah! I don't know how I could've forgotten that. Come to think of it, for a down-to-earth farm pony, you are weird a lot.
:Applejack: [reading] "And that's when the yellow birdie thought to himself, 'Hmm. My favorite little tree isn't such a little tree anymore.' So she sang her song, big and strong, and they all lived in that great, big tree happily ever after. The end."
:Rarity: Applejack! Were you reading a bedtime story to... an apple tree?
:Rarity: [in country accent] Who's our next model for the fashion show?
:Spike: Um... "Apple... Jewel"?
:Rarity: Who the hay is that?
:[tango music]
:Applejack: [high pitched voice] I hate to say I told ya so, Twilight, but I told ya so!
:[Spike and Twilight gasp]
:Applejack: It's a curse, I tells ya!
:Apple Bloom: Huh? Hey! Who put pillows on this rake?
:Applejack: [chuckles] Oh, I don't know. Maybe someone who really loves her little sister and doesn't want her to get an owie?
:Apple Bloom: [growls]
:Shining Armor: Applejack? What are you doing?
:Applejack: Applejack? [laughs] Who's that? My name's Apple Chord, and I've got a couple of songs to play for ya. Clap your hooves if you know 'em! And a one, and a two, and a...
::My love is like a barrel
::A barrel full of hay
:Applejack: I guess I can be just as peculiar as the next pony. But that's not what's goin' on here today.
:Spike: Uh, because today you wanted Twilight to check over the apples for the coronation, right?
:Applejack: Nnnope. And I think it's time I told you the truth.
:[chicken clucks]
:Applejack: Twilight, I have to be honest. The reason Spike gave you for comin' out to the farm today was a lie. It's just that things have been so hectic, what with savin' Equestria and planin' for the coronation. I just wanted to have a chance to reminisce with you for a bit.
:Spike: [sighs]
:Starlight Glimmer: [sighs]
:[chicken clucks]
:Twilight Sparkle: I'm happy to spend time remembering things we've done together. You don't have to make up some excuse for that. Let's see... My favorite Applejack memories...
:Twilight Sparkle: My name is Twilight Sparkle—
:Applejack: Well, howdy-doo, Miss Twilight, a pleasure makin' your acquaintance. I'm Applejack. We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends!
:Twilight Sparkle: Friends? Actually, I—
:Applejack: So, what can I do you for?
:Spike: [snickering]
:Applejack: Keep pushin', Caramel. That's it, Bumpkin. I know it's hard work, but you guys are doin' great. Yee-haw!
:Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Applejack. How's everything going?
:Applejack: Oh, just dandy. A little slow startin', but peachy all the same. There's a lot of ground to clear, ya hear? We can't even start the plantin' and the waterin' until we git all these heap a' snow hightailed outta here.
:Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'd like to help.
:Applejack: Well, I... I dunno Twilight.
:Twilight Sparkle: Just give me a chance.
:Applejack: Well, I never turn down a hard worker, but...
:Twilight Sparkle: [struggle] Ugh... [struggle] Ugh... [gasp]
:Spike: Think of how much quicker they could wrap up winter with your magic.
:Twilight Sparkle: I could use a come-to-life spell. Hwww... Here goes...
:Applejack: Hmm. She's awful strong for such a little pony.
:Spike: That's my girl, following my advice.
:Applejack: And what in tarnation does that mean?
:Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Uh-oh. Slow down. Slow down!
:Spike: [yelp]
:Spike and Applejack: Whoa-oa-oa!
:Applejack: What's going on? Wha'd'ya do? You used magic, didn't you?
:[doors close]
:Queen Chrysalis: [laughing] It's funny, really. Twilight here was suspicious of my behavior all along. Too bad the rest of you were too caught up in your wedding planning to realize those suspicions were correct! [laughing]
:Applejack: Sorry, Twi. We should've listened to you.
:Twilight Sparkle: It's not your fault. She fooled everypony.
:Twilight Sparkle: You've always been such a good friend. I don't know what I would have done without you.
:Applejack: I feel the same way. If I hadn't met you, I might not have ever left the farm or had any adventures at all.
:[city noises]
:Rarity: Oh, Manehattan, what you do to me!
:Applejack: [gulps]
:Rarity: Darling, are you all right?
:Applejack: Ponies move so fast here. Not at all like back home. [to herself] Eyes peeled, ears open. Eyes peeled, ears open.
:"Rivet": [blows police whistle]
:Rarity: Remember, Applejack, you're in the big city now. No moseying. You've gotta walk with speed and confidence!
:"Rivet": [blows police whistle]
:Rarity: Yoo-hoo!
:Applejack: [snorts]
:Diamond Cutter: Move it!
:Applejack: Sorry 'bout that.
:Strawberry Ice: Ah, get outta my way!
:Applejack: Sorry.
:Pedestrian Ponies 3 & 4: Watch it!
:Applejack: Hey— Oh, dear. Butter my biscuits. I can barely cross the street in this town.
:[train chugging]
:[brakes hiss]
:[train chugging]
:[wind whistling]
:Applejack: Guess nopony else is goin' out as far as we are.
:Fluttershy: Maybe they know something we don't?
:Applejack: Now, Fluttershy, I've told you a dozen times. There's nothin' to be sca—
:"Loose Tracks": [screams]
:Applejack and Fluttershy: [scream]
:"Loose Tracks": I'm sorry.
:Fluttershy: [screams] You really startled us.
:"Loose Tracks": Oh, it's just that I'm not used to seeing anypony taking the train to... [ominously] the end of the line. The final destination. The last stop!
:Applejack: We get the picture. Why?
:"Loose Tracks": Nothing but uncharted terrain and wild beasts out that way. [maniacal laughter]
:Applejack: Well, maybe there's a little somethin' to be scared of.
:Chimera: [growls, bleats, and hisses]
:Chimera's tiger head: Where are the pies?!
:Chimera's snake head: They're not back here.
:Chimera's goat head: This is your fault! You think you've always got to be in charge!
:Chimera's tiger head: [sighs] You're lucky, you know? You've got no idea what it's like to have a sister constantly looking over your shoulder!
:Apple Bloom: Uh, actually...
:Chimera's goat head: Let's try listening to me for a change! And I say, if there are no pies, let's settle for the filly filet!
:Chimera's snake head: [hisses] Any lassst wordsss?
:Apple Bloom: I really wish my sister were here!
:Applejack: Hang on, Apple Bloom! I'm a-comin'!
:Chimera's tiger head and goat head: Get her!
:Chimera's goat head: Hey! I thought I was in charge now!
:Chimera's tiger head: [growls]
:Applejack: [plays snake charming flute]
:Chimera's snake head: [hisses]
:Chimera's tiger head: [growls] [roars]
:Applejack: Howdy!
:[stretching noise]
:[smash]
:Twilight Sparkle: I feel pretty lucky we're friends.
:Applejack: Honestly, so do I.
:Twilight Sparkle: But you were right about the coronation keeping me busy. Come on, Spike. Celestia and Luna want to go over the guest list. Again.
:Starlight Glimmer: Guess Spike and I should've let you handle things from the start.
:Applejack: I may be an honest pony, but even I know how to not spoil a surprise.
:[chicken clucking]
:[credits]