Crime Kicked (Rewrite)/transcript

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== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: October 6, 2007
Episode Copyrighted: 2007
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode starts with SpongeBob at the front office of the city jail. We hear him talking to one of his fellow officers, Phil, and the camera zooms in on them as the dialogue gets louder.
Phil the Fish: Yeah, have you heard the news? Sheldon Plankton recently tried to take the Krabby Patty secret formula again! Of course it failed.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, yeah. That really isn’t nothing. When I worked there, he tried to steal it like every hour of the day practically.
Phil the fish: Every hour of the day, huh? How would you know that?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Because I used to work there as a fry-cook.
Phil the Fish: Wait, really? So you were the one that served those fresh and delicious Krabby Patties?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yes.
Phil the fish: I don’t really believe you but whatever. Oh yeah, Plankton also robbed a bank earlier.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Wait, what? I thought that would have been the headline, not the Krabby Patty thing.
Phil the fish: Yeah, he took like 5,000 dollars! He said that he would use it on a new invention to take over the world or something.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, we need to stop him!
Phil the Fish: You sure? I don’t like the idea of going against Plankton…
SpongeBob SquarePants: Believe me, he’s a piece of cake.
Slide transition, it's nighttime at the Loud House, Lincoln is in his room packing his things for another family vacation, he sets his duffle bag on his dresser.
Lincoln Loud: You guys been with us for a while, we're going on another family road trip and I'd hope it'll be better than last time when we all got grounded for wrecking the van. 
Lincoln then walks out of his room and went downstairs to find his parents in the living room.
Lynn Loud Sr.: Ah, son, perfect timing. You' got everything packed for this trip?
Lincoln Loud: Yep, everything packed. This vacation is gonna be awesome.
Rita Loud: Oh, it will, Lincoln. You guys are gonna love it, this resort has everything you guys love.
Lincoln then walks upstairs, he takes a stroll in the hallway, he then hears a crack noise, he looks down and finds out that he stepped on Lola's tiara, he's in shock.
Lincoln Loud: Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! What am I gonna tell Lola?
Lola then walks out of her room and sees her broken tiara on the floor near Lincoln's foot.
Lola Loud: *gasps* My tiara! It's broken!
She kneels in sadness as she picks up the remains of her tiara, she then shed tears on her face.
Lincoln Loud: Oh my gosh, Lola, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to step on it!
Lola then gets up and her sadness then turns to fury, she angrily turns to Lincoln
Lola Loud: *livid* You just stepped on a rare silver tiara, AND YOU DESTROYED IT!
Lincoln Loud: *scared* What are you gonna do to me?
Lola then sees one of Lincoln's comics, she bolted into his room and snatches one of Lincoln's comics, he gasps in horror.
Lincoln Loud: No, don't do it! That's a rare Muscle Fish comic, there's only 5 copies made in existence.
Lola Loud: *fights Lincoln*
Rita Loud: *breaks up the fight* Enough, two you! Why are you two fighting?!
Lola Loud: He stepped on my tiara!
Lincoln Loud: She ripped up my comic!
Lynn Loud Sr.: You fought before our family vacation.
Rita Loud: That's mean, and so you two are grounded now.
Lynn Loud Sr.: I hope you will resolve your altercation.
Rita Loud: You can kiss the City Resort goodbye!
Lynn Loud Sr.: We're calling the police!
Slide transition outside of the Loud House.
Cop #42: Well, what's your name?
Lincoln Loud: I'm Lincoln Loud!
Lola Loud: And I'm Lola Loud!
Cop #42: You have fun now!
Lincoln Loud: Lola, what's going on?
Lola Loud: I'LL SHOW YOU!
Cop #42: Wait a minute, Now tell it to the judge. *arrests Lincoln and Lola* Please do your time.
Lola Loud: But, officer--
Cop #42: No buts, because you chose to do the crime.
Slide transition to the city Jail.
Lola Loud: *to Lincoln* This is all your fault, Lincoln! We're stuck here in jail because of you!
Lincoln Loud: Lola, enough! It doesn't matter, now our punishment and mom grounded us.
Lola Loud: YEAH! *fights Lincoln with fight cloud*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Lola, stop! Don't fight my best friend! Get these two out of jail!
Rita Loud: Punishment is over!
Cop #42: Alright! *opens jail cell door* Now, get out!
Lincoln Loud: *cries* I'm sorry, Mom!
Rita Loud: No, you're grounded! Now go to your room!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Leave my best friend alone, Rita! He's fine!
Rita Loud: Hey, where's Lincoln!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, I'm late for work!
Phil the Fish: Oh no, we don't have much time! Let's get outta here!
Time card reading "The Next Morning"
French Narrator: The next morning.
Rita and Lynn Sr are at the front door with their suitcases, Lynn Sr. is holding Lily.
Rita Loud: You two have brought this upon yourselves, you can kiss Royal Woods Resort and Spa goodbye! You two will stay here over the weekend and work out your differences.
Lola Loud: Me?! It was Lincoln who broke my tiara!
Lynn Loud Sr.: We know both of you guys have differences in the past, but this can be a good bonding experience. Now, we'll be back on Sunday.
Lynn Sr and Rita both leave the house, Lincoln then sees the window and the other girls in the van are cheering for their upcoming vacation, Lincoln then sits on the couch with Lola, with a mad expression on her face.
Lincoln Loud: Lola, it'll be okay. *puts my hand on Lola's shoulder* At least we're together.
Lola Loud: *bitters* Don't. Touch. Me. Now, get me something to drink.
Lincoln Loud: *gulps in horror, then walks to the kitchen and grabs two drinking glasses*
He then went to the fridge and poured lemonade into both glasses, but he trips and drops the trap, resulting in both glasses to fall on Lola, drenching her in lemonade.
SpongeBob SquarePants: It's Roblox!
Roblox: I'm sorry, I wasted your time.
Lincoln Loud: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!
Builderman: Guys, are you here?!
SpongeBob SquarePants: We're here now!
Lincoln then runs to grab a towel to dry Lola's face, she then has a furious expression; It shows Lola sitting on the couch with Lincoln, who's holding his cheek from a slap.
Lincoln Loud: Lola, I didn't know the glasses would spill on you, I'm sorry. I'd...
Lola Loud: *enraged* No! No! No more! Just don't say anything! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING FOR ME! DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD, YOU MORON!
SpongeBob SquarePants: WELL LOLA, IT WAS YOU WHO HATE MY BEST BUDDY!
Lincoln was heartbroken at Lola's mean words, he then shed tears on his face.
Lincoln Loud: *cries* Lola, why do you hate me so much?
Lola then see's a sad Lincoln in tears, she then feels bad for her yelling.
Lola Loud: *in my mind* Ah, man. I do yell at him a lot, and I treat him cruelly. Maybe, I should be nicer to him.
Lincoln is weeping on a pillow, Lola tap his shoulder to get his attention and handed him a tissue to wipe his tears with.
Lola Loud: Linky, I don't hate you, I just hate the things you do. I've never hate you, Lincoln. All those times I'd yell at you is because, sometimes I lose my beauty pageants and I took that frustration out on you.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm sorry, Lola.
Roblox: Yeah, so do I.
Lincoln Loud: Is that why you're always being mean to me? *blows into my tissue* Huh?
Lola Loud: I'd never wanted to be mean to you, and I'm sorry for all those times and I forgive you. Come here.
SpongeBob and Lincoln then hug Lola tightly with all their might, this strains Lola a bit.
Lola Loud: SpongeBob and Lincoln, let me go, I'm about to black out. 
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *lets go of Lola and sets her down on the couch*
Lola Loud: I know we have brutal differences in the past, but I never hate you, Linky.
Lincoln Loud: The fact that you are grossed out about me reading my comics in my underwear and you didn't like my coin collection.
Lola Loud: It was really gross of you to do that and those coins are practically worthless.
Lincoln Loud: Make sense. Wanna watch TV?
Lola Loud: I'd love to.
Roblox: Phil, we're gonna go now, have fun watching TV.
Phil the Fish: Bye SpongeBob. Bye Lincoln. Bye Lola.
Roblox and Phil the Fish: *leaves the Loud House*
Lincoln then turned on the TV, Lola then put her arm around SpongeBob and Lincoln as they watched the TV in happiness.
Time card reading "2 Hours Later"
French Narrator: 2 hours later.
SpongeBob, Lincoln and Lola are reading books on the couch.
Lincoln Loud: Hey, Lola?
Lola Loud: Yeah?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Remember that time you and the others pranking us for ignoring you?
Lola Loud: Yeah, what about it?
Lincoln Loud: How come you prank us like that?
Lola Loud: You ignored us, so I had to do something about it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: You scared us for eight hours, you could've just talked to me. What you did was ridiculous. 
Lola Loud: The damage is done!
Lincoln Loud: I want a real answer, now!
Lola Loud: *sighs* Okay, I tell you, SpongeBob and Lincoln.
Lola then sits closer to SpongeBob and Lincoln, and holds their hand.
Lola Loud: It was two years ago...
Lincoln Loud: Is this gonna be long, *stands up* because we're about to go to the bathroom…
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah.
Lola Loud: Sit down.
Lincoln Loud: *grunts in agony and sits on the couch*
Lola Loud: Now, two years ago...
Flashback to two years ago.
Lola and Lana are four-year-olds, they're reading at the library.
Lola Loud: *narrates* It was a warm summer day, Lana and I were just reading at the library. 
Lincoln Loud: *narrates* Well, what happened? 
SpongeBob SquarePants: *narrates* Well, let's see what they're doing.
Young Lana Loud: I'm gonna grab another book on reptiles.
Lola Loud: *narrates* After Lana went to find another one of her dumb animal books, I've stumble something in her backpack.
Lola then looks at Lana's backpack and find a whoopie cushion, she snickers and place it on Lana's seat. Meanwhile, Lana has gotten many books on animals 
Lincoln Loud: *narrates* This is nothing appealing to me, Lola.
Lola Loud: *narrates* No worries, Linky, we'll get there.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Good one.
Young Lola Loud: *snickers* This gonna be funny. *places the whoopie cushion on Lana's seat, then walks back to their table and prepares to sit down*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *narrates* What's next?
Lola Loud: *narrates* And once she sits down, I've made a huge mistake.
Lana then sits down and a huge fart, everyone laughs at Lana. Embarrassed, Lana runs out of the library; At the Loud House.
Young Lana Loud: *livid* YOU DID WHAT?!
Young Lola Loud: Lana, I'm sorry, it was only a prank!
Young Lana Loud: I can't believe you for this! Just get out!
Lola Loud: *narrates* And because of that, Lana ignored me for a very long time, and it was horrible.
Lana pushes Lola out of her room, slamming the door; Lola was crestfallen and breaks down into tears.
Back to the present.
Lincoln is in tears at such a sad story, Lola handed him a tissue to wipe his tears with.
Lola Loud: You see, SpongeBob and Lincoln, the reason I'd done that is because if you do mean things, it can lead to consequences. I just don't want you to make the same mistake I've did a long time ago.
Lincoln Loud: Shoot, that was a sad story, Lola.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah, that was sad wasn't it?
Lola Loud: I know what I did upsets you, Linky, but I was only trying to look out for you. And I'm sorry for that cruel prank.
Lola then embraces SpongeBob and Lincoln in a tight hug, she then tickles SpongeBob and Lincoln as they giggle. They hear the phone ringing, Lola picks up the phone.
Lola Loud: Hello?
Lynn Loud Sr.: Hi, sweetheart, we're just checking on you two. How are you, SpongeBob and Lincoln doing?
Lola Loud: We're doing great, Daddy. We're bonding much closer.
Lynn Loud Sr.: That's good to hear, and your mother and I are sorry for being too pushy earlier.
Lincoln Loud: It's okay, we're fine.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Everything fine, Lynn.
Lynn Loud Sr.: We'll see you three tomorrow morning. We love you.
Lola Loud: We love you too, Dad.
Lincoln Loud: Bye, Dad.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Bye, Lynn.
Lola Loud: *hangs up the phone and joins SpongeBob and Lincoln into watching TV*
Time card reading "Later at Night"
French Narrator: Later at night.
Lincoln and Lola are getting ready for bed, they're in the bathroom brushing their teeth. SpongeBob is getting ready to leave.
Lincoln Loud: With everyone else gone, this space is perfect.
Lola Loud: It's getting too crowded anyway. Now, I can brush my teeth in peace.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm sleeping at my house. I'll see you guys tomorrow, okay.
Both of them rinse their mouths with mouthwash and set their toothbrushes on the sink; They went to their respective rooms and went to sleep.
Time card reading "The Next Morning"
French Narrator: The next morning.
They start walking to the Chum Bucket.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, guys. You see Plankton in the window?
Phil the Fish: Yes.
Lincoln Loud: Take out your extending claw thingy and climb to the roof. We’re gonna sneak in.
Lola Loud: I don’t know how to use this thing! You got it from the Royal Woods Mall!
SpongeBob SquarePants: You really think I was about to take things from the arsenal of weapons?
Phil the Fish: Yes! This is an emergency!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Stealing is bad, Lola.
Lola Loud: Whatever, just show Phil how to use this.
Phil, Lincoln, Lola, Roblox and Builderman are shown how to use the extending claw by SpongeBob, and they get on the roof.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Alright, you see the chimney? Jump down there.
Roblox: Okay.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Lincoln, Lola Loud, Roblox, Builderman and Phil: *jumps down the chimney*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Alright, we’re right behind Master Lox and Plankton, let’s get them!
Builderman: I'm on it! *takes my extending claw and snatches Master Lox and Plankton with it*
Lord Master Lox: Builderman! Uh, uh, what’s your name?
Builderman: It’s Builderman.
Lord Master Lox: Oh, okay. Ahem… Builderman! Why must you guys always stop me from being naughty? That’s what we are!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Too bad, Shelly.
Plankton: KAREN! WHO TOLD HIM MY NAME?
Karen Plankton: What?
Lord Master Lox: PEARL! WHO SAID THAT?
Pearl Master Lox: What now?
She comes out to where Master Lox and Plankton are standing
Karen Plankton: Hahaha! They got you again, Shelly.
Master Lox and Plankton start screaming in a fit of rage and they are sent to the city Jail.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I hope you learned your lesson.
Phil the Fish: Yeah, wait… what’s this strange feeling in my pocket?
SpongeBob SquarePants: You’re really excited to be here.
Phil the Fish: No! It’s… Master Lox and Plankton?
Roblox: It's just Plankton.
Builderman: Typical.
Plankton runs out of his pocket.
Lincoln Loud: If Plankton was in Phil’s pocket the whole time, then who did we just arrest?
Cletus: It’s me! Plankton’s cousin, Cletus! I was screaming for you all to put me down! But you all just never listen.
Lola Loud: Why us?!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh. Wait, did we just let Master Lox and Plankton run off?
Phil the Fish: Yup.
Lincoln Loud: You think she'll be okay?
Lola Loud: Nope.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, man.
*It says “THE END” Episode ends*
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