The Muppets (comic strip)

The Jim Henson's Muppets comic strip first premiered in over 500 daily newspapersThe Muppet Show Fan Club newsletter, volume 3, number 4 on September 21, 1981, just months after The Muppet Show ended its five year run. The strip was created by brothers Guy and Brad Gilchrist, who drew and wrote the strips.
The strip was distributed through King Features Syndicate and printed daily until May 31, 1986,King Features Syndicate announced on May 31, 1986, that the strip would be discontinued. Merced Sun-Star, May 31, 1986 Fort Worth Star-Telegram, June 1, 1986 with the "farewell" strip published on the previous Sunday. 1,714 daily strips were published throughout the course of the comic's run.
As was typical for newspaper comic strips, the displayed title altered depending on the publication, sometimes called Jim Henson's Muppets (as used in Sunday strip panels), The Muppets, or The Muppets by Jim Henson.
Sunday strips were longer and created in color; however, some publications ran abridged versions of the longer Sunday strips. For example, the April 18, 1982, strip ran for seven panels in The Philadelphia Inquirer, while the Wisconsin State Journal only ran five panels of the strip. By contrast, The Philadelphia Inquirer only ran five panels of the June 13, 1982, strip, while The Modesto Bee ran all seven. Additionally, some papers did not run strips on the originally intended date, but several days later. In these cases, the artist's date drawn into the original panel would typically be removed.
The strip is notable as being the first comic strip to be syndicated in multiple countries starting on the very first day of publication. Guy Gilchrist described working on a world-wide comic: "We had to work twice as far in advance as anyone else in our business at that time, because our strips had to be shipped via airmail and messenger (prior to the internet, of course) all around the world to be translated into every language of the 80 countries that read us each day. We had to be extremely aware of the global marketplace. We couldn't, for instance, write any 'puns' or English language wordplay. It couldn't be translated, you see."Guy Gilchrist's Cartoonist's Academy "Drawn to Success: Jim Henson and Me" by Guy Gilchrist
Muppet Magazine ran at least three exclusive color strips in the Summer 1983, Fall 1983, and Winter 1984 issues.
Six, incomplete books were released collecting some of the later strips.
==Development==
The strip changed focus considerably, after the first few months. The early strips treated the comic as an extension of the show, with "on-stage" and "backstage" scenes, all taking place in the Muppet Theater. The characters talk directly to the reader, as they would to the audience of the show -- the Rowlf the Dog strips on October 24 and November 7, 1981, feel like gags that could have been on television with no change at all. 
There's a sequence from November 16 to November 26 about Gonzo discovering a team of dancing worms, which includes a scene between Kermit and Miss Piggy before her big musical number, then a strip that shows the number, and ending with a Kermit/Piggy scene after the number. The entire 10-strip sequence mimics the story structure of a Muppet Show episode.
The early strips also featured familiar sketches from the show, including Veterinarian's Hospital, Pigs in Space, and Bear on Patrol. 
The art changed quite a bit as well. The strip originally had a more naturalistic style that was patterned directly off the puppets, and on the work of Michael Frith. As time went on, though, Guy became more confident drawing the characters and the strip became more stylized and simplified, capturing the essence of the characters in this new medium. Guy's version of Kermit can be recognized by small horizontal lines around his smile, which persisted in Guy's licensing work for Muppet Babies.
As the Gilchrists grew more confident, the concept of the strip moved away from the Muppet Theater and the vaudeville show, and started to focus on the Muppets' everyday lives. By February 10th and 11th, 1982, the Muppets are seen out on a hill in the middle of the night, looking up at the stars. By March 1982, the majority of strips use the settings and gags used in daily suburban comics like Blondie: in restaurants, in the park, and in the characters' homes, or interacting with service people and salesmen. Rowlf still appears as Dr. Bob, but he's Kermit's personal therapist, not participating in a sketch on stage. Over time, the theater-bound strips become the exception.
==Characters==
Regularly featured characters in the strip include Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Scooter, Rowlf the Dog (often appearing as Dr. Bob), Robin the Frog, Beauregard, and Statler and Waldorf. Other recurring characters include
Janice, Animal, Floyd Pepper, Zoot, Rizzo the Rat, The Swedish Chef, Camilla, and Foo-Foo.
In addition to the main cast of recurring Muppet characters, the strip also featured occasional appearances by Sam the Eagle, Link Hogthrob and Dr. Julius Strangepork, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker, Dr. Teeth, Pops, and Thog, plus minor cameos by J.P. Grosse, Lew Zealand, Sweetums, Mildred Huxtetter, the Koozebanian Phoob, and the male and female Koozebanian creatures from The Muppet Show. 
Various original characters were introduced, including Robin's friends Porky and Groundhog, along with numerous Whatnots (often as waiters, salesmen, or store clerks), and unnamed monsters, chickens, rats, frogs, dogs, birds, fish, and other creatures.
Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street cameoed in the January 5, 1986 strip.
==Recurring strips and themes== 
*Veterinarian's Hospital — Featuring physician Dr. Bob (Rowlf the Dog) alongside his assistant Nurse Janice (and occasionally Nurse Piggy in early strips), where he performs medical procedures and diagnosis full of puns.
:Examples: October 28, 1981, November 15, 1981
*Dr. Bob, Shrink — Dr. Bob serves as a psychiatrist for various characters, giving pun-filled and nonsensical advice to his patients.
:Examples: April 7, 1982, April 23, 1985
*The Great Gonzo Mystic — Gonzo plays the role of a fortune teller and magician delivering absurd and strange predictions.
:Examples: March 19, 1982, April 25, 1982
*"Dear Miss Piggy" / "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" — In an advice column, Miss Piggy responds to readers' letters with her trademark vanity and sass.
:Examples: September 23, 1981, March 19, 1984
*Beauregard's misunderstandings — The Muppets' janitor Beauregard often finds himself in comedic situations by taking figures of speech and various terminology literally.
:Examples: October 26, 1981, January 13, 1983
*Kermit & Fozzie's fishing trips — Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear going on fishing trips in their boat the "Calamity Jane" together, often leading to humorous conversations and Fozzie's frequent bad luck with fishing. 
:Examples: January 17, 1982, November 24, 1984
*Dr. Bob's golf outings — Dr. Bob (Rowlf the Dog) takes to the golf course (often with Kermit), where the game of golf is treated with the same irreverence and wordplay as his medical practice.
:Examples: August 3, 1983, November 21, 1984
*Le Snoot Café — Set in an upscale restaurant, these strips often feature Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy indulging in fancy meals or experiencing humorous interactions with a surly waiter. 
:Examples: January 31, 1982, February 12, 1982
*The Perky News Team Hour — Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy anchor a news show, delivering absurd and exaggerated news reports.
:Examples: March 1-3, 1982, June 10-12, 1985
*Gonzo's stunts — The Great Gonzo performs bizarre and dangerous stunts.
:Examples: December 30, 1981, July 7, 1985
*Statler & Waldorf — Statler and Waldorf provide their usual sarcastic commentary on various situations, including the Muppets' stage show, items they see in newspapers (including The Daily Grouch or Herald Heckler), or just aging in general.
:Examples: October 10, 1981, November 20, 1982
*Raising Robin — Many strips focus on Kermit and his interactions with his nephew Robin. The strips often highlight the challenges and joys of raising a young frog.
:Examples: September 22, 1982, November 20, 1985
*Kermit's reflections — In nature, Kermit reflects on various aspects of life, leadership, or show business. His thoughts are often philosophical or contemplative.
:Examples: March 27, 1982, July 18, 1982
*Pigs in Space — The space adventures of Captain Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork, and First Mate Piggy aboard the Swinetrek.
:Examples: June 26-July 2, 1983, April 16-21, 1984
*Miss Piggy's dressing room — Various strips focus on Miss Piggy in her dressing room, where she interacts with Scooter and others as she prepares for her performances or deals with requests from her fans.
:Examples: October 20, 1981, August 15, 1982
*Lover's Leap — These strips revolve around Miss Piggy's dramatic and exaggerated declarations of love, often involving threats to jump off Lover's Leap if she can't have Kermit. 
:Examples: March 16, 1982, May 30, 1982
*Piggy for VP — In 1984, Miss Piggy launched a campaign for Vice President of the United States with Scooter serving as her campaign manager.
:Examples: August 20-30, 1984, November 6, 1984
*Uncle Rizzo's Rhymes — Rizzo the Rat spins offbeat parodies of traditional nursery rhymes.
:Examples: May 31-June 4, 1983, August 11, 1984
*Muppet Labs — Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and his assistant Beaker showcase new experiments with disastrous outcomes.
:Examples: November 1, 1981
*Bear on Patrol — Fozzie Bear stars as a bumbling police officer.
:Examples: November 27, 1981
==Strips==
===1981===
	September 21, 1981
In the premiere strip, Miss Piggy tells Scooter she won't stoop to the level of a newspaper comic. Realizing that she's now in print to the readers, Piggy panders to the American newspaper subscribers.
	September 22, 1981
Scooter uses a feeding time farm call to lure Miss Piggy to the stage. Piggy breaks down the door in her karate outfit and stomps past Kermit and Scooter hiding in a trunk.
	September 23, 1981
In a Dear Abby-esque letter column titled "Dear Miss Piggy," the eponymous columnist responds to a query about car noises, suggesting the driver turn up their radio.
	September 24, 1981
Sam the Eagle address the reader concerning The Muppets' appearance in newspaper comics, but protests to the nudity suggested in the medium being called a strip.
	September 25, 1981
Sweetums, Lew Zealand (with one of his fish), Beauregard, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Rowlf the Dog, and Rizzo line up at Kermit's desk to receive their pay checks.
	September 26, 1981
Gonzo attends a cast party wearing an orthopedic cast on his leg.
	September 27, 1981 (Sunday)
In the first Sunday strip, Kermit returns from New York after a series of business lunches with comic strip moguls. Rowlf says "the Big Apple" is probably full of worms; Miss Piggy asks an exhausted Kermit if he brought her back a present.
	September 28, 1981
Kermit declares that he hates Mondays after realizing he spent the first three panels upside-down.
	September 29, 1981
Kermit thinks Scooter's uncle J. P. Grosse has demanded that he do a comic strip. Scooter corrects him; the request comes from his wife who owns the newspaper chain.
	September 30, 1981
A robed Miss Piggy wearing hair curlers promises to punch Scooter's lungs out when he informs her that, despite there being no show today, all of America can see her current state in the current comic strip.
	October 1, 1981
Miss Piggy asks a fortune-telling Gonzo what kind of numbers he sees in her future career: a high salary? A Hollywood and Vine address? "No, DIAL-A-PRAYER."
	October 2, 1981
In a "Dear Miss Piggy" column letter, "Desperate in Des Moines" asks how to stay in a lasting relationship. Piggy suggests performing a half nelson wrestling move.
	October 3, 1981
Sam the Eagle admonishes The Electric Mayhem's music. In response, Floyd Pepper tells Animal and Janice that they have a hit on their hands.
	October 4, 1981 (Sunday)
Robin the Frog greets the morning sun, while Kermit waxes poetic about nature's beauty. Robin bets Miss Piggy doesn't look as good in the morning. While not the first Sunday strip published, this was the very first Sunday strip drawn by Gilchrist.Guy Gilchrist on Facebook December 21, 2024.
	October 5, 1981
Kermit tells Miss Piggy he sometimes doesn't know what to do with her. As she bats her eyelashes at him, he cringes and wrinkles his script. Crossing his arms, he says he's not taking suggestions.
	October 6, 1981
Miss Piggy responds to a "Dear Miss Piggy" letter from "Header Over Heels" who has met a cute frog in show business. Piggy writes that if the romance lasts, she won't.
	October 7, 1981
Scooter calls a newspaper comics editor on behalf of his aunt's newspaper chain. After promising that The Muppets strip will have all the same characters as the show, the editor hangs up the phone.
	October 8, 1981
A mustachioed Whatnot drags an enormous bag behind him, cursing its heavy weight. Scooter explains to Rowlf that it's Miss Piggy's make-up man.
	October 9, 1981
Thog sneezes, sending Kermit and Scooter flying through the Stage Door.
	October 10, 1981
Statler and Waldorf muse that it must be tough coming up with a really funny comic strip, but they (the Gilchrists, credited on the newspaper) wouldn't know. They're reading the Daily Grouch and the Herald Heckler.
	October 11, 1981 (Sunday)
Practicing a dance routine (in lieu of Gonzo's salute to foam insulation), Miss Piggy tosses Kermit around with ease and tells him that he's light on his feet.
	October 12, 1981
Miss Piggy wears a wetsuit and scuba gear in contrast to the sexy outfits she's worn to capture the heart of a certain green Casanova.
	October 13, 1981
Kermit tells Fozzie he won't get his own comic strip until an ice cube burns. Fozzie takes it as a maybe.
	October 14, 1981
Kermit reiterates his conditions for Fozzie's own strip. Fozzie presents an ice cube on fire.
	October 15, 1981
Fozzie celebrates getting his own comic strip, but forgets the joke he was going to tell.
	October 16, 1981
Wearing a muscle suit, Gonzo wrestles in the mud.
	October 17, 1981
Gonzo tells Kermit that mud wrestling is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
	October 18, 1981 (Sunday)
Statler and Waldorf spend six panels heckling from their box as a warm-up for the show.
	October 19, 1981
Sam the Eagle has a letter from psychic Jeane Dixon complaining about tomorrow's strip.
	October 20, 1981
Miss Piggy sweet talks herself in her dressing room mirror.
	October 21, 1981
Dr. Bob asks Nurse Janice for tweezers to pick the anchovies off his pizza.
	October 22, 1981
A pool of mud tells Gonzo he's going to take a dive in the fifth round of their wrestling match.
	October 23, 1981
Beauregard and Dr. Bob haul Gonzo out on a stretcher; the mud won the wrestling match.
	October 24, 1981
Rowlf plays the piano from sheet music written in hieroglyphics.
	October 25, 1981 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy peruses her wardrobe closet, trying on eighteen outfits. "It's not easy being a goddess!"
	October 26, 1981
Kermit asks Beauregard to take out the garbage; Beau asks it out on a date to the movies.
	October 27, 1981
Miss Piggy lounges on her couch with a loaf of bread and a jug of wine.
	October 28, 1981
Nurse Piggy congratulates Dr. Bob for performing successful brain bypass surgery on Fozzie.
	October 29, 1981
Wearing a hat with an arrow through it, Fozzie rides a dime-operated, mechanical horse.
	October 30, 1981
Kermit announces that they've given Animal his own strip; Animal eats through the newspaper page.
	October 31, 1981
Rowlf sits at the piano in Fozzie's Vaudeville act where he jokes that French fries were invented by an 18th century monk: he was the deep-fat friar.
	November 1, 1981 (Sunday)
Beaker freaks out in Muppet Labs when Bunsen asks him to connect the wires for a shrinking machine designed to save the whales: he hasn't recovered since they tried jump-starting the eels.
	November 2, 1981
Miss Piggy joins the Electric Mayhem in a Carmen Miranda number.
	November 3, 1981
Miss Piggy and her oversized Carmen Miranda hat have to be hauled off stage.
	November 4, 1981
Miss Piggy claims her Carmen Miranda fruit hat was stolen by thugs, but Kermit surmises she just ate it.
	November 5, 1981
At a cafe with Fozzie, Kermit says that his mother urged him to leave the swamp when he was just 16 and rented out his bedroom the next day.
	November 6, 1981
In the same cafe, Fozzie says that his folks made him sleep outside. That's why he likes the family he's made in showbiz: they make him sleep outside, too.
	November 7, 1981
Rowlf tickles the ivories and they giggle in response.
	November 8, 1981 (Sunday)
After Fozzie begs for another chance to prove his act, he tells a series of bowling jokes that perform well with Statler and Waldorf. Kermit is glad his persistence paid off while Statler and Waldorf enjoy bags of money for themselves being paid off.
	November 9, 1981
Back at the cafe, Kermit and Fozzie try to one-up each other over how poor they were as kids. Kermit says that they slept 18 frogs in one bed. Fozzie is surprised to hear they had a bed at all.
	November 10, 1981
Miss Piggy flirts with and tackles a dummy of Kermit.
	November 11, 1981
A woman writes into "Dear Miss Piggy" describing her looks and asks if she has what it takes to be a big star. Piggy responds, "Dream on, dear, dream on..."
	November 12, 1981
Statler and Waldorf take their theatre box to the park to heckle the wildlife.
	November 13, 1981
Driving their theatre box like a car, Statler refers to a hitchhiking Miss Piggy as just another pork in the road.
	November 14, 1981
Fozzie receives sympathy cards in lieu of champagne and roses on opening night.
	November 15, 1981 (Sunday)
Admitted as a patient at Veterinarian's Hospital, Fozzie is told that there's something wrong with his mouth: bad jokes come out of it. Dr. Bob performs a tonsillectomy resulting in Fozzie's mouth being sewn shut. Nurse Janice calls it a great day for medical science.
	November 16, 1981
Fozzie and Gonzo have spent all night looking for black holes. Kermit is excited to hear they've been searching the heavens for scientific phenomena. They clarify: they've been worm hunting.
	November 17, 1981
Gonzo reveals that the worms he's collected have formed a dancing act called The Wormettes.
	November 18, 1981
Scooter writes the introduction for the Wormettes' act: "We've just unearthed some great new talent."
	November 19, 1981
Kermit tells Miss Piggy that worms will serve as the chorus girls in her big number. Piggy: "...Aren't they all?"
	November 20, 1981
Miss Piggy takes the stage in a tuxedo and becomes furious to realize that her backup are literally earthworms.
	November 21, 1981
Miss Piggy continues her worm frustration, but Kermit explains that she didn't have to find 12½ pairs of size .007 pink tap shoes.
	November 22, 1981 (Sunday)
Stressing over showbiz woes, Kermit exclaims that he wants his mommy. In a letter to his folks, he asks them to imagine working with international superstars, master comedians, and fearless stuntmen... they'd really love it. Kermit: "Come to think of it... I'd really love it!"
	November 23, 1981
Kermit runs Miss Piggy through a dance rehearsal with the Wormettes. She reminds them that she does all the fancy footwork.
	November 24, 1981
Fozzie performs "Singin' in the Rain" with the Wormettes.
	November 25, 1981
Robin the Frog laments being overlooked when a member of the Wormettes flirtatiously calls him "Big Boy."
	November 26, 1981
Gonzo panics when the Wormettes leave a note on their dressing room door that reads, "Gone Fishin'."
	November 27, 1981
Bear on Patrol asks Beauregard why he's just standing there; it's just where he stopped walking.
	November 28, 1981
Kermit dreams of a saw cutting through a log. Beauregard sleeps with a teddy bear dreaming of the flat end of a saw cutting through a log. Bunsen dreams of an elaborate machine accompanied by a long mathematical equation.
	November 29, 1981 (Sunday)
Sam the Eagle promises to rid America of rock n' roll. Dr. Teeth asks if he said something; Floyd Pepper responds that it was probably pointless, offensive noise.
	November 30, 1981
Miss Piggy decides that she's cute when deciding how to seal a letter.
	December 1, 1981
In a "Dear Miss Piggy" advice column, Miss Piggy can't relate to an overweight wannabe star.
	December 2, 1981
Kermit is doing a crossword puzzle, he asks Rowlf for "a five-letter word for 'mentally unbalanced,' the fourth letter is a 'Z.'" They are both stumped until Gonzo walks by.
	December 3, 1981
Kermit remarks that Animal has "that certain something." Scooter says he thinks "it's called rabies."
	December 4, 1981
Gonzo tells Dr. Bob that all his stunts fail, that he feels like he has no talent, and he wants to get out of show business. Dr. Bob tells Nurse Piggy that it looks like a case of "temporary sanity."
	December 5, 1981
A group of gypsy moths harass Fozzie.
	December 6, 1981 (Sunday)
Kermit tells Miss Piggy something is wrong with Gonzo. Meanwhile Gonzo laments to the chickens that something is missing; something so seemingly insignificant and small, yet so monumental. He bemoans that he must search high and low, near and far, to find his corner of the sky. When asked what exactly is bothering the emotional Gonzo, Scooter says he lost a piece to his jigsaw puzzle.
	December 7, 1981
In a "Dear Miss Piggy" column, Miss Piggy shares the best way to get gravy stains out of silk: the maid.
	December 8, 1981
Dr. Bob and Nurse Piggy perform an operation on Fozzie that has never been done before. Dr. Bob says as a practicing physician, a little practice never hurt anyone.
	December 9, 1981
Link Hogthrob and the crew of the Swinetrek play "Go Fish."
	December 10, 1981
Beauregard hangs Robin's swing.
	December 11, 1981
Robin complains about his swing.
	December 12, 1981
Fozzie notices something smells good and says, "somebody must be frying up sausages." Scooter panics saying "Oh, no! Miss Piggy must've fallen asleep under her sun lamp again!"
	December 13, 1981 (Sunday)
The Pigs in Space crew (Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork, and First Mate Piggy) explore the planet Koozbane. They encounter the Koozbanians (including the Koozebanian Phoob, and the male and female Koozebanian creatures from The Muppet Show) who remark, "There goes the neighborhood."
	December 14, 1981
Scooter is swarmed by bats and pterodactyls.
	December 15, 1981
In a "Pigs in Space" strip, First Mate Piggy gives Captain Link Hogthrob advice - never kiss an alien on the first date. Meanwhile an enamored female Koozbanian looks on.
	December 16, 1981
Captain Link Hogthrob lists the three things that it takes for a successful mission: a good crew, the best equipment, and a strong, fearless captain. First Mate Piggy says, "Two outta three ain't bad."
	December 17, 1981
Miss Piggy gives Kermit a kiss. When asked why she did that, Piggy explains she was returning the kiss she stole the other night (with interest).
	December 18, 1981
Rowlf tells Kermit that Beauregard is the best curtain man in the business because he's so wrapped up in his work. Bo is seen literally wrapped up in the curtains.
	December 19, 1981
Fozzie has a pipe dream.
	December 20, 1981 (Sunday)
Dr. Bob and Nurse Piggy perform plastic surgery on an inflatable pool toy.
	December 21, 1981
Kermit, Fozzie Bear, Beauregard, and Gonzo (in a return to his plumber roots) are in the flooded basement of the theater. The waters are full of aggressive sharks, a giant octopus and surfing rats. Kermit asks Gonzo "why does everything you do turn out like this?" Gonzo says "just lucky, I guess!"
	December 22, 1981
Miss Piggy puts on her finest French perfume "Midnight Swine." Beauregard asks if somebody sat on a skunk, which earns him a clobbering from Piggy.
	December 23, 1981
Fozzie laments that some people taste the nectar of success, others enjoy the fruits of their labors, while he just gets leftovers.
	December 24, 1981
Kermit writes a letter to his folks. He says it's been pretty quiet... and then Animal comes in.
	December 25, 1981
A Christmas message from the Muppets - "We wish you Peace." Featuring Bo, Rowlf, Floyd, Janice, Kermit, Miss Piggy, Beaker, Fozzie, Robin, Dr. Teeth, Gonzo, Waldorf, Statler, Animal, Scooter, 3 rats, and 2 chickens. Statler and Waldorf are wearing top hats that say "Bah" and "Humbug."
	December 26, 1981
Beauregard admires the smell of detergent, the sunlight on the dust mops and remarks, "It's gonna be an okey-dokey day."
	December 27, 1981 (Sunday)
Statler has a breakdown when the show is cancelled due to theater renovations. As he goes through withdrawal, Waldorf called Hecklers Anonymous for help.
	December 28, 1981
Fozzie, Gonzo, and Miss Piggy blow by Kermit who remarks, "A little windy out there, huh?!"
	December 29, 1981
Miss Piggy and Kermit are on a love seat together. Piggy says let nature take its course, so, naturally, Kermit leaves.
	December 30, 1981
Gonzo says, "I'll try anything once!" He shoots himself out of a cannon directly into a brick wall. Afterwards he says, "If it hurts, I'll do it again!"
	December 31, 1981
In a "Pigs in Space" strip, Dr. Julius Strangepork says the ship is adrift in deep space, alone in an endless void. Suddenly there's a knock on the door: a candy-gram!
===1982===
	January 1, 1982
Dr. Julius Strangepork and Captain Link Hogthrob attempt a two-point landing of The Swinetrek. They land upside-down and remember that it's a four-point ship.
	January 2, 1982
A rat overhears Beauregard talking to his mop.
	January 3, 1982 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy pens a break-up letter to Kermit.
	January 4, 1982
After being squirted in the face, Kermit comments on the Swedish Chef's breakfast by saying, "Hell hath no fury like a grumpy grapefruit!"
	January 5, 1982
In a "Dear Miss Piggy" advice column, Miss Piggy receives a letter from a reader unsure how to show their appreciation for being invited to a Gala White House Lawn Party. Piggy says the best way to show appreciation is to send her the tickets.
	January 6, 1982
Miss Piggy complains to Kermit about the postal service, noting that her invitation to the Gala White House Lawn Party that is being thrown by "Nancy & Ronny" must be lost in the mail. Kermit comments that her "invite to Lady Di's wedding's a wee bit late too."
	January 7, 1982
Gonzo tries to console Miss Piggy, who is still upset about not getting an invite to "that big White House wingding," by saying, "If I'da known that, I wouldn't have thrown mine away."
	January 8, 1982
Miss Piggy questions if she should listen to her good side that says not to throw herself at Kermit, or her other side that says it's okay. She leaps on Kermit as Fozzie looks on saying "The Devil made me do it!"
	January 9, 1982
Miss Piggy and Kermit play tennis. Piggy remarks that it's her kind of game because "even when you have nothing, you still have 'love'."
	January 10, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit and Robin are taking a walk at night. Kermit remarks about the beautiful night, the twinkling stars, the music of the forest creatures, and the forest etched in tranquility. Robin thinks to himself "if he starts singing "Rocky Mountain High" I'm gonna throw up..."
	January 11, 1982
In a Western scene, Kermit tells Fozzie that it's high noon and time for his lunch date with Miss Piggy.
	January 12, 1982
In a Western scene, Kermit asks bartender Piggy "What's a cowpoke gotta do to get a root beer around here?" She whispers something in his ear, and he runs out of the saloon before hearing about the blue-plate special.
	January 13, 1982
Kermit has an idea prompting him to remember to buy light bulbs.
	January 14, 1982
Miss Piggy sleeps with a baseball bat because "a girl should be prepared for things that go 'bump' in the night...." She uses it to smash her alarm clock saying "...or things that go 'brring' in the morning."
	January 15, 1982
Fozzie rides "El Motoro" a mechanical bull exclaiming "yippy kyo kyay!" and "Hi-ho Silver!" He's thrown off and says "this thing must be murder when it's plugged in!"
	January 16, 1982
Miss Piggy tells Kermit she will pursue their love forever. As he runs from the room she clarified "...or three-thousand miles, whichever comes first."
	January 17, 1982 (Sunday)
Fozzie asks Kermit if Rodney Dangerfield started like that as he pushes off their fishing boat the "Calamity Jane." Kermit says his favorite thing about fishing is the anticipation, after the day passes, Fozzie says catching "wouldn't be bad either."
	January 18, 1982
Kermit is strung up in slings and casts. He tells Miss Piggy he fell down the stairs, twisted his ankle, flipper, arm and hand. Piggy is mad at this "excuse" to call off their date.
	January 19, 1982
In a "Dear Miss Piggy" column, Miss Piggy is asked what's the best way to use leftovers when cooking. She is confused as to what a leftover is.
	January 20, 1982
Fozzie shows Kermit his new "boffo" gag that he stole from Steve Martin: an arrow through the head gag. Fozzie feels pain after Kermit shows him that "Steve" uses a trick arrow.
	January 21, 1982
Miss Piggy is preparing for a Nashville number. Kermit comments on her big Dolly Parton-esque hair and wants to talk to her hairdresser: who pops out of Piggy's big do.
	January 22, 1982
As Animal, Floyd and Zoot play, Statler and Waldorf call their rock 'n' roll music "trash."
	January 23, 1982
Fozzie compliments a tasty dish made by Swedish Chef. The chef responds (and Kermit translates), "If you liked the dish water, wait'll you try my soup."
	January 24, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit asks Gonzo why all those chickens love him. Gonzo says it's his sophisticated man-about-town sex appeal, his devil-may-care, or his savoir faire. Rizzo says it's probably because Gonzo smells like a barnyard.
	January 25, 1982
Kermit asks what more could Miss Piggy want - she has her own dressing room, a star on the door, and a private phone. He regrets the question as a lovestruck Piggy drags him away.
	January 26, 1982
Rowlf asks Kermit why Miss Piggy is so happy. It's not a new play, or a recording contract, or a new movie... it's a new deli that delivers.
	January 27, 1982
Fozzie and Kermit are fishing in the Calamity Jane. Kermit says it's beautiful when friends enjoy the simple things in life together, but an unsuccessful Fozzie is jealous of Kermit's haul of fish.
	January 28, 1982
Gonzo is sad that Kermit says his chickens have to go. Miss Piggy consoles Gonzo by saying that a theater is not a fit place to keep chickens and she offers to help them get to a proper place. She then calls Colonel Sanders.
	January 29, 1982
Fozzie tells Miss Piggy that Kermit just stepped out.
	January 30, 1982
A bedridden Fozzie tells Kermit that he's too sick to do his monologue on the show tonight. Kermit says you know he's really sick when "he's too sick to shtick."
	January 31, 1982 (Sunday)
While approaching a restaurant with Miss Piggy, Kermit sees a sign for the day's special of "Legs du Froggies" and suggests maybe they just split a pizza instead. Inside, Piggy gives their waiter a gigantic order. He frantically writes it down, and as he collapses, she concludes with "and a diet cola." Mildred Huxtetter and a Muppet monster appear as patrons at the restaurant.
	February 1, 1982
Miss Piggy offers to be there for Kermit when he's lonely or depressed... and she can wait.
	February 2, 1982
Miss Piggy announces that she does not "co-star" with anyone, but gaffes when Kermit dismisses Robert Redford.
	February 3, 1982
After Kermit announces that he's depressed, Fozzie and the rats cheer him up with a routine aided by the props closet.
	February 4, 1982
Kermit asks Beauregard to do something about the rats in the storeroom who have broken into canned laughter.
	February 5, 1982
Robin returns from show and tell at school with Animal on a chain leash carrying a busted drum set.
	February 6, 1982
Miss Piggy asks her mirror who is the fairest one of all. She discovers the mirror was made in Hong Kong when it responds, "Sue Yat Sing."
	February 7, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit postpones a news report about a tidal wave so Miss Piggy can wax about her recent trip to a boutique.
	February 8, 1982
Miss Piggy runs to escape from, not muggers, but the IRS.
	February 9, 1982
Kermit responds to Miss Piggy asking him out on a date with a long recitation of legalese. She falls asleep and he declares, "Works every time!"
	February 10, 1982
Contemplating their friends gazing at the stars, Kermit and Rowlf surmise that there must be intelligent life on other planets because they had to put it somewhere.
	February 11, 1982
Kermit asks the heavens for a sign of intelligent life out in the cosmos, and he's hit with a signpost that reads E=mc².
	February 12, 1982
Miss Piggy asks a restaurant waiter for the chicken. He leaves, and a chicken returns to take her order.
	February 13, 1982
Kermit receives a huge box of chocolates for Valentine's Day which he'll never be able to eat all by himself. In response, Miss Piggy emerges from the box, offering her help.
	February 14, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit weaves a fantastical tale about why the sky is blue. Robin says he thought the color came from light refracting off of particles in the air.
	February 15, 1982
Kermit announces Miss Piggy to the stage using an introduction she wrote.
	February 16, 1982
Kermit tells Miss Piggy she's beautiful when she's angry. Upon reflecting in the mirror, Piggy agrees.
	February 17, 1982
Kermit tells Miss Piggy that anywhere is special when he's with her.
	February 18, 1982
A reporter for the press wants to know the intricate details of Gonzo's mud wrestling. Gonzo tells him to take some dirt and add water.
	February 19, 1982
Miss Piggy hangs her laundry to dry on the stage during Fozzie's comedy act.
	February 20, 1982
Miss Piggy asks Fozzie and Robin to keep quiet on a film set while Kermit is tied up for a scene where the hero is captured. Fozzie reckons it's a good time to show him Robin's report card.
	February 21, 1982 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy coaxes Kermit into breaking a wishbone with her and uses her strength to pull him into her embrace.
	February 22, 1982
Dressed as a fortune teller, The Great Gonzo declares himself a handwriting expert and affirms that Kermit's handwritten note is indeed handwriting.
	February 23, 1982
A pizza chef is surprised to hear that a big star like Miss Piggy would eat pizza. Fozzie asks that it be gift-wrapped.
	February 24, 1982
Fozzie takes two panels to consider the most important thing in comedy... timing.
	February 25, 1982
Kermit and Fozzie are pelted in the face by the speedy delivery of their fast food.
	February 26, 1982
In a huff, Miss Piggy tells Kermit that his problem is thinking he's something special. She thinks to herself, "My problem is... you are."
	February 27, 1982
Miss Piggy reads a book called I'm Perfect You're Perfect, Gonzo reads I'm Weird You're Weird, and Fozzie reads I'm OK... I Think You're OK... Um, Maybe.
	February 28, 1982 (Sunday)
Fozzie paraphrases the Star Trek intro before cleaning up his room. He places a number of items — including some old props, Spike Jones records, an autographed photo of Milton Berle, and some Charlie McCarthy bubblegum cards — into a junk chest before amorously crawling in with his collection.
	March 1, 1982
Kermit, Fozzie, and Miss Piggy report as "The Perky News Team." Kermit is the anchor-frog. Fozzie covers sports. And Piggy is just utterly stunning.
	March 2, 1982
Fozzie, Kermit, and Miss Piggy report again as "The Perky News Team." Piggy hands Kermit an emergency update bulletin that he reads live on-air -- earthquake in Pango Pango, Tidal wave in Yoozambia, and Kermit to marry Miss Piggy. Kermit is exasperated as Piggy got him to read the "exclusive" on air.
	March 3, 1982
Fozzie and Kermit are back as the Perky News Team. Fozzie reports on the baseball game between the Pittstown Pumas and the Ditchville Superbas. Slugger "Homer" Goodwill flew out to left field three times... and boy, were his arms tired.
	March 4, 1982
Miss Piggy relaxes in the bath with a "good book." It's titled Moi's Life Story.
	March 5, 1982
Kermit complains that a cafe is charging $1.25 for "a lousy cup of coffee." Fozzie points out in the menu that it's $2.50 for "a good cup."
	March 6, 1982
A happy Fozzie floats by Kermit after getting his first fan letter.
	March 7, 1982 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy tries to get a "good night kissy kissy" from Kermit after their date. Kermit offers a handshake instead.
	March 8, 1982
Miss Piggy asks Kermit to say "you love me." He complies by saying "you love me." Piggy threatens to throw him off a cliff.
	March 9, 1982
Miss Piggy asks the shoe salesman what boots he has for under $10. He says "two baggies and a coupl'a rubber bands."
	March 10, 1982
Fozzie tells his shrink Dr. Bob that he feels people don't notice him. Dr. Bob responds saying he didn't even see Fozzie come in.
	March 11, 1982
Fozzie tells Kermit he forgot what he was supposed to get at the market. Kermit asks if the string he tied around his finger helped. Fozzie then remembers that they need tea bags as he shows his hand with a tea bag tied to his finger.
	March 12, 1982
While driving, Kermit and Miss Piggy hit a dead end. Kermit says it looks like they can't go any farther. Piggy leaps on him and says, "Wanna bet?!"
	March 13, 1982
At the fish market, Miss Piggy signs an autograph on a fish for the salesman's wife.
	March 14, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit and Miss Piggy return from a celebrity pool party. They tell Fozzie all about the party (including how they had to refill the pool after Piggy's diving exhibition).
	March 15, 1982
Miss Piggy tells Kermit she's so hungry she "could eat a horse." An offended horse at the next table says he's so hungry he "could eat a pig!"
	March 16, 1982
Miss Piggy goes to Lover's Leap, looking at a picture of Kermit, she's saying she will jump because of her unrequited love. It's off the deep end for her; she just wants to make sure a trampoline is in place so she can bounce back from all this.
	March 17, 1982
Rowlf and Kermit rush to Lover's Leap to stop Miss Piggy from jumping to her death. Meanwhile Animal gives her a drum roll.
	March 18, 1982
Kermit tells Miss Piggy to not jump off Lover's Leap. His arrival gives Piggy a new appetite for life and for love. Kermit asks if she'd settle for a pizza.
	March 19, 1982
Kermit visits The Great Gonzo Mystic. Gonzo looks into his crystal ball and sees a man of "incomparable talents, genius, good looks and animal magnetism." He then pivots and says, "but enough about me..."
	March 20, 1982
Miss Piggy uses her artistic skills to make a portrait of Kermit using eyebrow pencil and mascara.
	March 21, 1982 (Sunday)
Fozzie asks the ticket agent at Banana Airlines for a ticket to Bermuda. When the ticket prices for first class and coach are too high, Fozzie asks what he can get for $10.27. The solution is a giant catapult.
	March 22, 1982
Miss Piggy is satisfied that she roped Kermit into another dinner date against his will.
	March 23, 1982
In a "Dear Miss Piggy" column. Miss Piggy gives advice to someone getting cold feet before their wedding - wear socks.
	March 24, 1982
Shrink Dr. Bob practices his putting while Kermit says he thinks he's Jack Nicklaus.
	March 25, 1982
Robin walks by and makes Miss Piggy "long for those days of youth and innocence." Kermit walks by and makes her reconsider - "well, maybe just youth."
	March 26, 1982
Two hicks (Maw and Paw) watch Miss Piggy and Kermit through the window of a restaurant. It reminds them to slop the hogs.
	March 27, 1982
Kermit walks through the woods and reflects "They say the meek shall inherit the Earth. It's not that they want it... they're just too shy to say no."
	March 28, 1982 (Sunday)
Rowlf, Fozzie, Kermit, and Miss Piggy play football. Rowlf gives Piggy a penalty for holding Kermit.
	March 29, 1982
Miss Piggy is tired of throwing herself at Kermit. Kermit is tired of catching her.
	March 30, 1982
The Great Gonzo Mystic performs a magic act. Statler and Waldorf volunteer, hoping it's a disappearing act that will get them out of seeing the rest of the show.
	March 31, 1982
Fozzie grins as he is surrounded by laughter. Kermit asks if he's practicing his ventriloquism act again.
	April 1, 1982
Miss Piggy is rehearsing her lion tamer act. When the lion takes control of the act, Kermit remarks the act needs work.
	April 2, 1982
Miss Piggy notices the lion from her lion tamer act is missing. Beauregard says he put the cat out for the night.
	April 3, 1982
While tossing a coin, Miss Piggy says she'll flip Kermit for lunch. He says he already has a date. She clarifies "lunch or I'll flip you!"
	April 4, 1982 (Sunday)
Rowlf, Fozzie, and Kermit are playing poker when Miss Piggy enters. She says it feels as if a great weight has been taken off her shoulders. She then realizes she left her fur wrap on the bus.
	April 5, 1982
Miss Piggy attempts to renegotiate her contract. She wants a little more green - not more money, more Kermit.
	April 6, 1982
While eating cheesecake, Rowlf makes a joke about Miss Piggy's weight, and the rest of the comic is "censored due to excessive violence."
	April 7, 1982
While at the psychiatrist, Kermit asks his Dr. Bob if he's crazy. Dr. Bob says, "Of course you're crazy. You've gotta be nuts to pay my prices!"
	April 8, 1982
Statler and Waldorf object to the show's half-price for senior citizens rate. Kermit asks why they feel that's unfair. The duo reply that they should be paid full-price like the rest of the audience.
	April 9, 1982
Scooter informs Miss Piggy that there's a gentleman to see her at the stage door. Piggy laments how much time she sacrifices to her adoring public. It turns out to be a pizza delivery man bringing her a large pizza, no anchovies.
	April 10, 1982
Miss Piggy drops her handkerchief. Kermit picks it up, blows his nose, and tosses it in the trash.
	April 11, 1982 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy appears as the Statue of Liberty in a patriotic pageant with a chorus of frogs and Kermit as Uncle Sam. As "The Star-Spangled Banner" starts, Sam the Eagle tells Beauregard backstage to remove his hat for the national anthem. Bo struggles to get it off. Rowlf comments, "It's a child-proof cap."
	April 12, 1982
Miss Piggy tries to convince Kermit that male jewelry is all the rage. He objects to her suggestion of handcuffs.
	April 13, 1982
Kermit tells Dr. Bob that his other doctor says a lot of surgery is unnecessary. Dr. Bob says, "That's easy for him to say. His Mercedes is probably all paid off."
	April 14, 1982
Miss Piggy asks Janice (erroneously spelled "Janis") if she promises not to spread her juicy gossip. When Janice agrees, Piggy says, "They why should I tell you?"
	April 15, 1982
Miss Piggy asks Kermit why he doesn't buy her diamonds.
	April 16, 1982
Miss Piggy sends Scooter to get her "golden bouffant with diamond tiara and full, radiant cascading tresses." Scooter goes to Pops to get "the pig wig."
	April 17, 1982
Kermit is coaching Gonzo on how to take a shower. Gonzo is looking for the emergency exits in the shower (the first thing he looks for when entering "a strange place").
	April 18, 1982 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy wears a marvelous jump suit and she tries to pounce on Kermit; however, she overshoots "the green."
	April 19, 1982
Miss Piggy asks a salesman if the designer jeans come with any accessories. He replies with "a crowbar" to get her out of them.
	April 20, 1982
Miss Piggy reminds Kermit that she's here if he's ever depressed. She also reminds him that he can't stay happy forever.
	April 21, 1982
Dr. Bob treats eating spaghetti like surgery, asking Nurse Piggy for scalpel and tweezers, so that he can count his meal as a tax deductible business dinner.
	April 22, 1982
While looking into his crystal ball, the Great Gonzo Mystic sees pain and suffering in Fozzie's future. As Fozzie leaves in pain, Kermit asks what happened - Gonzo dropped his crystal ball on Fozzie's foot.
	April 23, 1982
While Scooter mans the ticket window, Statler and Waldorf arrive, and Statler is upset when he remembered their tickets.
	April 24, 1982
Miss Piggy is happy to tell Kermit she hasn't cheated on her new "water diet." When a waiter comes to offer her water, she says, "No, thanks. I can't touch the stuff."
	April 25, 1982 (Sunday)
The Great Gonzo Mystic has a hard time reading Miss Piggy's fortune in his crystal ball. It turns out to be Rowlf's bowling ball.
	April 26, 1982
While driving, Kermit tells Miss Piggy to pull into a gas station. She asks, "What kind - super, no lead, or regular?" After she crashes into the pumps, much to the fear of the gas station attendant, he says to get whatever's left.
	April 27, 1982
Fozzie is looking for a Hawaiian vacation. He asks the Banana Airlines clerk what he can get for $11.38. He's told "a grass skirt and a bottle of quick tan."
	April 28, 1982
Dr. Bob tells Miss Piggy that a bedridden Kermit is "too sick" to take her out to dinner. An ecstatic Kermit jumps for joy as they leave the room.
	April 29, 1982
Miss Piggy is singing opera (with Viking horns and spear). When Statler and Waldorf heckle her singing ability, she throws her spear at Waldorf.
	April 30, 1982
Fozzie informs Miss Piggy that "press personality" is here to see her. It turns out to be a man from the laundry service saying her ironing's done.
	May 1, 1982
Johnny Carson approaches Miss Piggy at the Stage Door and asks if she'd like to be on The Tonight Show.
	May 2, 1982 (Sunday)
Fozzie gushes over Kermit's script for a sketch in which Gonzo and Animal play bushmen who try to cook Thog in a black kettle.
	May 3, 1982
Miss Piggy asks Kermit why he can't be like other men whose thoughts are driven by romance and passion.
	May 4, 1982
Fozzie announces the arrival of the new cleaning lady: an old woman whose plow has collected a number of items from backstage.
	May 5, 1982
Kermit tells Dr. Bob, shrink, that his life flashed before his eyes like a series of reruns.
	May 6, 1982
Beauregard tells Nurse Janice he intends to clean Dr. Bob's waiting room. Specifically, the cobwebs collecting on his elderly patients.
	May 7, 1982
Kermit will never forget the time Miss Piggy was locked out of the theatre in the rain wearing curlers in her hair. Piggy warns that he'd better forget if he wants to live.
	May 8, 1982
In her "Dear Miss Piggy" column, Miss Piggy responds to a writer who has fallen for a pilot.
	May 9, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit accompanies a nervous Robin who wants to ask Miss Piggy to borrow one of her dresses. It's not for a costume party but to use as a tent when he goes camping.
	May 10, 1982
Kermit wakes ready to face the day, but when he finds that outside is upside-down behind the shade, he goes back to bed.
	May 11, 1982
Miss Piggy uses a jackhammer to sign an autograph in the cement for a construction worker.
	May 12, 1982
Dr. Bob disagrees with Kermit's accusation that doctors like to make their patients uncomfortable right before he asks Nurse Janice to retrieve his stethoscope from the freezer.
	May 13, 1982
Dr. Bob uses a tongue depressor to inspect Fozzie's throat. When he finds nothing wrong, he instructs him to stick out his ten bucks and say goodbye.
	May 14, 1982
On stage for a scene set with a spooky backdrop, Kermit asks Miss Piggy for a scream that will put people's heads through the roof. She obliges, the volume sending Kermit through the roof.
	May 15, 1982
Miss Piggy ignores Kermit's accusation that she ate all his chocolate bon-bons until the final panel where her thought bubble explains that it's not polite to talk with your mouth full.
	May 16, 1982 (Sunday)
Driving along at night in the rain, Miss Piggy notes that the car reaching 12,000 miles means its warranty is due to expire. When the car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, she explains how they'll have to stay out there together all night. Kermit frantically starts pushing the car.
	May 17, 1982
Kermit explains to Fozzie that after examining an issue in a mature, impartial manner, there's only one way to settle an argument with Miss Piggy: do it her way.
	May 18, 1982
Referencing the scene from Snow White, Miss Piggy asks her mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all. The mirror laughs and says that she cracks it up. Piggy responds by cracking the mirror with a hammer, confessing that she typically avoids puns.
	May 19, 1982
Pops tailors a suit for Fozzie that's fit for a comedian: oversized.
	May 20, 1982
Kermit tells Fozzie that a comedian's suit should have that "baggy pants" look. Fozzie asks Pops to have it cleaned and rumpled.
	May 21, 1982
Miss Piggy claims that she'd go to great lengths to prove her love for Kermit. Kermit says she can call him when she gets back.
	May 22, 1982
When Kermit and Miss Piggy find themselves in the middle of a bank robbery, she tells the robbers it won't be necessary to be tied up; just lock her and the frog up together in the vault.
	May 23, 1982 (Sunday)
Gonzo the mystic uses long distance telephone sales jargon to convince Miss Piggy that he can contact any of Piggy's living relatives for 25 cents. Gonzo attempts to call her mother and gets a busy signal. Piggy confirms that it's her.
	May 24, 1982
Miss Piggy takes Kermit to her favorite restaurant, Chez Chic. She explains that this is the kind of place where a sophisticated individual can try something new and different, then proceeds to order her usual from the waiter.
	May 25, 1982
Gonzo the mystic looks into his crystal ball and sees a giant eagle with huge talons and fiery eyes. He explains to Fozzie it means that she wants her egg back as she scoops up his "crystal ball."
	May 26, 1982
Fozzie plays an organ grinder while Thog collects money for their street performance.
	May 27, 1982
Sam the Eagle calls Floyd Pepper disgusting for not having washed his jeans since he bought them. Floyd claims he doesn't have to, he bought them pre-washed.
	May 28, 1982
Kermit and Rowlf dine at a restaurant where showbiz photos of the Muppets adorn the wall. Kermit is relieved to find a spot away from Miss Piggy's romantic advances, but her wall photo comes to life and hits him in the head with a spitball.
	May 29, 1982
Fozzie confides in Dr. Bob, shrink, that his paranoia makes him feel like people are talking about him behind his back. Dr. Bob confirms, that's the rumor going around.
	May 30, 1982 (Sunday)
Fozzie warns Miss Piggy that she's about to jump off Lover's Leap without a parachute. Piggy threatens that she'll commit suicide if she can't have Kermit and jumps. Kermit briefly grieves before realizing that she landed on Beginner's Slope.
	May 31, 1982
Kermit tells the waiter that his meal tastes like dog food. It turns out he mixed up his order with Rowlf's.
	June 1, 1982
Miss Piggy pressures Kermit into going out.
	June 2, 1982
Statler says Fozzie is in a class by himself: kindergarten.
	June 3, 1982
Beauregard bumps into Kermit while watching where we was going (immediately in front of his feet).
	June 4, 1982
Kermit literally puts himself in Miss Piggy's shoes.
	June 5, 1982
Fozzie tells a knock-knock joke about trains and sneezing.
	June 6, 1982 (Sunday)
While shopping, a nearsighted woman bumps into Miss Piggy and mistakes her for Farrah Fawcett. This flatters and mollifies Piggy... until the woman runs into a post and thinks it's Robert Redford.
	June 7, 1982
Kermit didn't invite Miss Piggy to dinner with a lobster.
	June 8, 1982
Kermit wants to play catch on the baseball field, but Miss Piggy wants to catch him.
	June 9, 1982
The entire Muppet Theatre audience claims credit for throwing a tomato at Fozzie.
	June 10, 1982
Dr. Bob tells Miss Piggy to go on a liquid diet, so she orders a pizza run through a blender.
	June 11, 1982
Animal gets a haircut with a chainsaw.
	June 12, 1982
Fozzie and Gonzo struggle to read the Swedish Chef's menu.
	June 13, 1982 (Sunday)
Rowlf preps Fozzie for a boxing match fought with jokes and heckling.
	June 14, 1982
Miss Piggy backhands Kermit across the room for a favorable comment about Bo Derek.
	June 15, 1982
Foo-Foo asks Miss Piggy for her motivation to roll over.
	June 16, 1982
Dr. Bob tells Kermit he has complications with his gizzard.
	June 17, 1982
Kermit makes an existential ponderance; Rowlf says they are there to occupy blank space in the comics section.
	June 18, 1982
Robin returns dragging Miss Piggy's brassiere after Kermit sends him on a scavenger hunt to find a double-barreled slingshot.
	June 19, 1982
The Great Gonzo: Mystic looks into his crystal ball and finds a pimple on his nose.
	June 20, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit and Robin fly a kite.
	June 21, 1982
Fozzie notes Kermit's bachelorhood when he pulls baked socks out of his oven.
	June 22, 1982
Miss Piggy knocks Kermit and Fozzie over on her way to watch soap operas.
	June 23, 1982
Dr. Bob downgrades Fozzie's diagnosis when he learns he's broke.
	June 24, 1982
Miss Piggy purposefully mistakes Kissing Rock for Lover's Leap.
	June 25, 1982
Gonzo passes the bathrooms for Women and Men, and enters a door marked Whatever.
	June 26, 1982
Gonzo finishes a crossword puzzle from 1963.
	June 27, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit develops a headache from Miss Piggy's badgering.
	June 28, 1982
Kermit and Miss Piggy go to the movies but never make it past the snack counter.
	June 29, 1982
Robin writes in his journal about Kermit's misunderstanding of meteorology based on saying that a cyclone had hit his bedroom.
	June 30, 1982
Nurse Janice tells Kermit that Fozzie is contagious after Dr. Bob inspects his throat with a telescope from far away.
	July 1, 1982
Mystic Gonzo gives Miss Piggy a magic potion that he guarantees will get Kermit all over her - it turns her into a lily pad.
	July 2, 1982
Kermit asks Miss Piggy how her psychiatrist session with Dr. Bob went. She says he's always questioning her authority.
	July 3, 1982
At Fred's Threads, Fozzie is shopping for a new bathing suit. He asks the salesman what he suggests for someone with his physique. The salesman suggests a new physique.
	July 4, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit imagines himself as Dagwood and Miss Piggy as Blondie from the comic Blondie in a dream sequence. He wakes up to say that's the last time he eats a "Dagwood" sandwich before bed.
	July 5, 1982
Miss Piggy says it might be easier if Kermit thought of her as "one of the boys" and asks what they would talk about then. Kermit says "for starters, how come you dress like a girl?"
	July 6, 1982
Miss Piggy tells the salesman at the Ladies' Wear store that she would like to see something in a low-cut blouse. The sales man says "so would I."
	July 7, 1982
Kermit tells Dr. Bob his inhibitions are preventing him from dating Miss Piggy and causing him a lot of guilt. He doesn't want to lose his inhibitions, just the guilt.
	July 8, 1982
Miss Piggy is skeptical of Gonzo the Mystic's cheap crystal ball. He says it's the real thing... he just has to plug it in first.
	July 9, 1982
Miss Piggy tells Kermit she has an upset stomach because she hasn't eaten.
	July 10, 1982
Gonzo's act got terrible reviews. Kermit reassures him that he'll bounce back. Meanwhile Gonzo literally sticks his head in the sand.
	July 11, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit and Fozzie suspect their golf outing will be odd when they see two clowns golfing. When Fozzie gets a golfball to the head, Kermit calls for a doctor and more than 15 come running from all corners of the golf course with clubs in hand (including Dr. Bob).
	July 12, 1982
On a phone call with Miss Piggy, Dr. Bob says it's not often he performs an operation at a patient's home, then again it's not often someone needs designer jeans surgically removed.
	July 13, 1982
Dr. Bob tells Miss Piggy she has to watch her weight after he saw a guy hanging one of her pinups with spikes.
	July 14, 1982
Miss Piggy asks Dr. Bob if her weight problems are real or imaginary. After she falls through the floor, he says "real."
	July 15, 1982
Miss Piggy sees a 5-cent "your weight and fortune" scale. It calls her a lightweight and gives her compliments. As she leaves, the scale says, "Sure, I lied, but it keeps that blimp coming back."
	July 16, 1982
Miss Piggy returns to the 5-cent "your weight and fortune" scale. The scale says, "Over-weights pay overtime. Deposit another nickel." She breaks the machine.
	July 17, 1982
Miss Piggy longs to hear those three little words from Kermit - "It's dinner time."
	July 18, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit walks through the woods and ponders his relationship with Miss Piggy.
	July 19, 1982
Kermit gives Miss Piggy the wrong directions to the parking garage, and they end up driving into an office.
	July 20, 1982
Scooter tells Miss Piggy Vidal Bassoon wants her to endorse their new skin cleanser called "Hogwash."
	July 21, 1982
Kermit and Miss Piggy go to a quaint cafe with a Gypsy violinist.
	July 22, 1982
Miss Piggy and Kermit relax under an apple tree. Piggy says it feels like they've been thrown back in time. Just then a snake offers her an apple.
	July 23, 1982
Kermit and Frog Scout Robin roast marshmallows over a campfire. Miss Piggy uses a branch to roast multiple marshmallows.
	July 24, 1982
Fozzie arrives with a pizza. Kermit says he should have eaten it at the pizza place while it was still hot. Fozzie says he doesn't mind because he always eats it a la mode.
	July 25, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit, Robin, and Miss Piggy are camping. Piggy brought everything but the matches.
	July 26, 1982
Kermit and Fozzie are fishing in the Calamity Jane. Fozzie catches "Mr. Cousteau."
	July 27, 1982
Kermit gets burned by Miss Piggy's fiery breath after asking how her chili is.
	July 28, 1982
Fozzie asks Rowlf if he wants to join the Miss Piggy Fan Club. Rowlf asks what he gets if he joins. Piggy says it's "more a question of what you'll get if you don't."
	July 29, 1982
Kermit asks Gonzo the Mystic if he's read Miss Piggy's palm yet. Gonzo's waiting for the movie.
	July 30, 1982
Fozzie complains to the Swedish Chef that his rabbit stew is nothing but carrots. A group of rabbits at the next table says, "That's just the way we like it."
	July 31, 1982
Waldorf gives his friend Sid a present for his 75th birthday. Statler says Sid looks great and will probably live to be 100. Waldorf hopes so because the gift has a 25-year warranty.
	August 1, 1982 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy keeps having her leg grabbed as The Great Gonzo (Mystic, Palms Read, Chickens Kissed) summons the spirit of the great Casanova.
	August 2, 1982
Miss Piggy tells Kermit to think of her as a friend (a "warm, passionate, hot-blooded, incredibly sexy friend.")
	August 3, 1982
Beauregard tells Kermit that his mom sent him a new thermos that can hold both hot and cold beverage. It currently has chicken soup and iced tea in it.
	August 4, 1982
Beauregard plays the Palace Guard in a scene. He just has to stand there and look dumb. Bo is happy to play a part where he can just be himself.
	August 5, 1982
Dr. Bob tells Janice he didn't always want to be a doctor. He wanted to be a fireman, but they wouldn't let him near the hydrants.
	August 6, 1982
While on vacation in New York City, Kermit wants to see The Statue of Liberty but Fozzie doesn't want to look like a tourist.
	August 7, 1982
Kermit goes to the florist. He learns that "A rose by any other name" would cost the same.
	August 8, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit tells Rizzo that they're overbudget, behind schedule, late on rent payments, and the basement is flooded (again). Kermit asks Fozzie what's the delay on getting the new set arranged. It's because Miss Piggy keeps ordering Beauregard and Scooter to rearrange the furniture.
	August 9, 1982
Miss Piggy tells Kermit she missed the tunnel entrance as their car is underwater and surrounded by fish.
	August 10, 1982
Kermit asks Fozzie what he ordered to eat. A Jack-in-the-box springs out from under the cloche - the Chef's surprise!
	August 11, 1982
Dr. Bob asks Miss Piggy how her diet is going. Nurse Janice detects some sarcasm in the way Piggy angrily shouts, "I love it! I really love it!"
	August 12, 1982
Statler and Waldorf realize they're in trouble when the hissing isn't their heckling, it's their hot air balloon.
	August 13, 1982
Gonzo pole vaults into the pay toilets. Kermit would have been more than happy to lend him a dime.
	August 14, 1982
Kermit, Fozzie, and Robin are on a trip to Disneyland. Robin is determined to return with a souvenir as he rolls in a giant mouse trap.
	August 15, 1982 (Sunday)
Beaker, Scooter, and Zoot are outside Miss Piggy's dressing room. Scooter delivers flowers to Piggy. More flowers continue to arrive. Turns out the Daily Bugle printed her obituary by mistake.
	August 16, 1982
Kermit bought Miss Piggy a new beach towel at the sea museum. It says, "Save the whales."
	August 17, 1982
Miss Piggy orders the eggs Benedict. Assuming that's the waiter's name, Fozzie orders "Some cereal, Benedict."
	August 18, 1982
Fozzie shows Kermit his new "Boffo Gags" monologue. He says comedy is his life. Kermit suggests getting life insurance.
	August 19, 1982
While playing baseball, Miss Piggy gets mad at Kermit for calling her a heavy hitter.
	August 20, 1982
Fozzie shows Robin that with fly-fishing you can catch just about anything with the proper back swing as he hooks a hotdog from some picnickers behind them.
	August 21, 1982
Gonzo the Great Mystic looks in his crystal ball and sees an incredible economic depression with soaring inflation and sky-rocketing prices. Fozzie asks when it will end as Gonzo raises his rates from $2 to $4.
	August 22, 1982 (Sunday)
While Kermit and Foo-Foo watch, Miss Piggy installs a new state-of-the-art burglar alarm and security system to protect her valuables. It's on her refrigerator.
	August 23, 1982
Kermit asks Beauregard to put the bill for the new stepladder on with the other bills to pay. Bo uses the stepladder to put it on top of the giant stack of bills.
	August 24, 1982
Miss Piggy tries on a pair of designer jeans at the Ladies' Wear store. The salesman calls the That's Incredible! TV show to report the event.
	August 25, 1982
Kermit doesn't like Robin watching TV with such foul language. When Fozzie asks what Robin was watching, Kermit explains it was the John McEnroe-Vitas Gerulaitis tennis match.
	August 26, 1982
Kermit and Rowlf are impressed with how hard Fozzie is working at his writer's desk. Turns out he's just trying to perfect his autograph.
	August 27, 1982
A Whatnot autograph hound pursues a flattered Fozzie because she has mistaken him for Yogi Bear.
	August 28, 1982
Gonzo is unenthusiastic about his flying carpet for the Arabian Nights skit. Kermit says the budget is tight and there's nothing wrong with riding a remnant.
	August 29, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit gets all dressed up and shows up at Miss Piggy's party to find he is the only guest.
	August 30, 1982
Kermit asks Miss Piggy what she wants to make for dinner. She says "reservations."
	August 31, 1982
A sleazy door-to-door solicitor asks Miss Piggy if she would like to contribute to the preservation of wildlife. When she says okay, he asks, "Your place or mine?"
	September 1, 1982
Dr. Bob shows Nurse Janice photos of his patient before and after brain surgery. Janice asks about the bandages on his head. Dr. Bob says it's from when he saw his bill and he hit the ceiling.
	September 2, 1982
Dr. Bob tells Nurse Janice that Fozzie is ready for the anesthesiologist. A large ape with a club walks in.
	September 3, 1982
Fozzie asks Mystic Gonzo what are the chances of not getting booed tomorrow. Looking into his crystal ball, Gonzo says they're great (because the theater is closed tomorrow).
	September 4, 1982
Kermit tells Fozzie he'll take some coffee as long as it isn't too strong. Fozzie spills some on Kermit's desk causing it to melt. Kermit passes on the coffee.
	September 5, 1982 (Sunday)
Fozzie tells Dr. Bob that he's been coming for psychiatry everyday for the past ten months and hasn't seen any improvements. Dr. Bob says there have been improvements to his bank balance.
	September 6, 1982
While sitting under a tree, Kermit asks Rowlf what he would like to come back as if he were reincarnated. Rowlf says, "Bo Derek's beach blanket."
	September 7, 1982
Fozzie brings Kermit a tied-up burglar saying the man broke into the canteen and made off with 50 quarts of anchovy soup. Kermit thanks the crook.
	September 8, 1982
While playing football, Kermit asks Beauregard to pass "the ol' pigskin." Bo throws him Miss Piggy.
	September 9, 1982
Fozzie asks Statler and Waldorf to stop booing and offer an honest appraisal of his jokes. They say they're hecklers, not antique dealers.
	September 10, 1982
Rowlf gives a monologue about comic strips, saying the best ones are the ones with memorable and relatable thoughts, such as "Whatza matter?? Haven't ya eaten enough today, fatso?!!"
	September 11, 1982
Kermit and Fozzie are victims of a hit-and-run while crossing the street. Kermit asks Fozzie if he got the license plate. Fozzie literally has the car's plate.
	September 12, 1982 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy plays "He loves me... he loves me not" with a flower. When there are no petals left when she lands on "he loves me not," she scares the flower into sprouting another.
	September 13, 1982
Miss Piggy is offended that Kermit is serving her leftovers. Kermit says to think of them as "reruns."
	September 14, 1982
Dr. Bob examines Animal, using his stethoscope and adjusting Animal's arms until he hears something. While music comes from Animal's torso, Floyd tells Nurse Janice that "the dude ate my transistor radio."
	September 15, 1982
Dr. Bob gleefully tells Miss Piggy to "stick it in your ear" (in reference to applying the ointment to treat her ear infection).
	September 16, 1982
Miss Piggy spends $48.50 on a cut, curl, set, and blow-dry at Vidal Basscon's House of Hair... for Foo-Foo.
	September 17, 1982
Kermit tells Miss Piggy they are getting close to the nude beach, as they encounter three turtles sunning themselves outside their shells.
	September 18, 1982
Miss Piggy is stepping out with Kermit while wearing a feathery dress. She's offended that Camilla is wearing the same outfit while stepping out with Gonzo.
	September 19, 1982 (Sunday)
While on a walk through nature, Rowlf waxes philosophically and asks Kermit, "Do you believe in an all-powerful entity? You know, a guiding force, one who sees all, knows all, and watches over our every move?" Kermit, looking over Miss Piggy spying on them from a nearby tree, says, "Yes."
	September 20, 1982
Kermit tells Robin he can't leave the table until he gets rid of his peas. As Kermit walks away, Robin flings his peas at him.
	September 21, 1982
Miss Piggy gives Robin a gift as he starts first grade. She lugs out a giant box as big as Robin — her old lunch pail.
	September 22, 1982
Kermit doesn't mind helping Robin with his homework, he just hates correcting it when he's done.
	September 23, 1982
Robin tells his friend Garrett that he can't come out to play until he finishes his homework. Garrett says it usually doesn't take Robin this long to finish his homework. Robin explains that his uncle usually doesn't insist on helping.
	September 24, 1982
Kermit tells Fozzie that he is learning sign language so he can communicate to Robin while he's blasting the stereo.
	September 25, 1982
Rowlf tells Nurse Janice about his new patient - the president of a bank, a chairman of the civic committee, and a father of eight. His advice, get some sleep.
	September 26, 1982 (Sunday)
Robin tells Kermit about his homework. Kermit says a lot has changed since he was little, but the classic books survive. When asked what he's reading, Robin says The Condo That Jack Built. Portraits of Fozzie Bear, Jim Henson, and Frank Oz hang on Kermit's wall in the open panel of the expanded Sunday strip.
	September 27, 1982
Dr. Bob gets an emergency call to play golf.
	September 28, 1982
Kermit is excited to go golfing with Rowlf's famous golf friends — Watson, Nicklaus, and Palmer. Rowlf introduces Kermit to three yokels - Floyd Watson, Buford Nicklaus, and Ducky Palmer.
	September 29, 1982
Rowlf shows Kermit his new technique for keeping his head down while golfing — an anvil strapped to his head.
	September 30, 1982
Kermit asks the waiter at Le Snoot Cafe why there's a hair in his glass of water. The waiter replies they're trying to grow a toupee.
	October 1, 1982
Kermit asks Pops if he's seen Zoot's sax. Pops pulls it out, and using it as an ear trumpet, says, "Eh?"
	October 2, 1982
Kermit mutters "ho-hum" and "hum-ho" while doing paperwork. Robin says his uncle's been working so hard he doesn't know if he's humming or ho-ing.
	October 3, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit and Miss Piggy talk about the idea of going out with other people.
	October 4, 1982
Fozzie is worried that Kermit doesn't like him. Miss Piggy reassures him, saying Kermit adores him... it's the rest of the world he has to worry about.
	October 5, 1982
Miss Piggy tells Fozzie that he worries too much about what others think, the important thing is to like yourself. When asked how to tell if he likes himself, Piggy responds, "Take yourself out to dinner and see if you hit it off."
	October 6, 1982
Fozzie goes to dinner alone to see if he likes himself. He explains to the waiter that "I am having dinner with me." The waiter asks if he'd like separate checks.
	October 7, 1982
Fozzie tells Kermit that he thinks he may like himself now, but he's just not ready to make a total commitment yet.
	October 8, 1982
Fozzie tells Rizzo that he is "a bear for the 80s" and that he knows exactly where he's going as he walks into the broom closet.
	October 9, 1982
Fozzie tells Kermit that he has good news and bad news. The good news is he passed his memory improvement course. He can't remember the bad news.
	October 10, 1982 (Sunday)
Dr. Bob dresses up as a party clown with balloons and props to go work in pediatrics.
	October 11, 1982
While sitting under a tree, Kermit tells Fozzie what he hates about autumn. As they are buried under suddenly falling leaves, Kermit says, "Sneaky leaves."
	October 12, 1982
Kermit says all he needs out of life is a roof over his head, clothes on his back, and food on the table. He's shocked to meet a man with just that—a roof on his head, clothing hanging on his back, and a table with a single apple—who is unsatisfied.
	October 13, 1982
Dr. Bob is treating Robin who sprained his flipper in a "Midget Football League" game. When asked what happened, it's explained Robin kicked the referee.
	October 14, 1982
Robin is accounting for all the money his classmates from school owe him. As he explains to Kermit, he started his own "student loan program."
	October 15, 1982
Fozzie questions why Swedish Chef's pot says "stand back." He's grabbed by a giant tentacle as Kermit explains the chef is cooking octopus.
	October 16, 1982
Fozzie is excited that the store offered a buy one, get one free deal. He bought one sock and got the other half of the pair for free.
	October 17, 1982 (Sunday)
A butterfly flies by Miss Piggy. Rizzo the Rat runs by chasing the butterfly. Gaffer the cat chases Rizzo. Foo-Foo the dog chases Gaffer. Kermit the Frog chases Foo-Foo. Piggy (she doesn't know what's up, but it looks like fun) joins in and chases Kermit.
	October 18, 1982
Kermit finds a piece of paper that has "Miss The Frog" written all over it. Miss Piggy explains she wanted to see what her name would like like when they get married.
	October 19, 1982
Miss Piggy browses the Health & Fitness section of a bookshelf. She looks at books by Richard Simmons and Jane Fonda and can't understand why someone would buy a book by someone who sweats.
	October 20, 1982
Miss Piggy shows Kermit her new activewear attire. Kermit asks if she's been doing aerobics, weight lifting, or jazzercise. Piggy says no, she just thought the outfit was cute.
	October 21, 1982
After working out, Kermit tells Miss Piggy she can cut a small piece of cake. She cuts a small piece and takes the rest of the cake.
	October 22, 1982
Miss Piggy goes jogging to chase her personal dream. She chases the "Good Guy Ice Cream" truck for a fudgsicle.
	October 23, 1982
Exhausted in the desert, Miss Piggy begs for water before correcting herself and asking for Perrier.
	October 24, 1982 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy is hungry while out driving and pulls into a restaurant for some food. She orders a cheeseburger, fries, and a soda. The problem, as Kermit points out, is the restaurant doesn't have a drive-thru and Piggy just drove through the side of McEats.
	October 25, 1982
Miss Piggy tells Kermit the secret of her luscious figure. Taking care of her body is as routine as eating, sleeping or watching TV. In fact, her routine is eating, sleeping, and watching TV.
	October 26, 1982
Miss Piggy says the key to a gorgeous figure is eating "light" foods. She piles up her tray in the cafeteria with all sorts of "light" desserts and says another benefit is that you can carry twice as much.
	October 27, 1982
Miss Piggy ponders how many calories can be burned off during a "rigorous eating working."
	October 28, 1982
Dr. Bob tells Kermit that their new accountant won't let them be reimbursed for 3-martini lunches anymore. While sitting with three ladies at the table, Kermit asks, "How should I tell the 'Singing Martini Sisters' we're splitting the check?"
	October 29, 1982
Fozzie tells Statler and Waldorf that when they insult his jokes, they're insulting him too. The hecklers are thrilled to be able to kill two birds with one stone.
	October 30, 1982
Robin tells Kermit he can't go out and play, he's too busy studying The Preppy Handbook.
	October 31, 1982 (Sunday)
Fozzie helps Gonzo with his "Bonco's Fabulous New 'Mr. Air-Head' the At-Home Hot-Air Balloon Kit."
	November 1, 1982
Miss Piggy is convinced to buy a dress at the Ladies Wear store when the salesman tells her she doesn't need it and can't afford it.
	November 2, 1982
A Whatnot diner cook tells the Whatnot waitress to hurry and ask Fozzie how everything is just as he gets a big mouthful of food.
	November 3, 1982
Fozzie tells Dr. Bob he has a fear of being around intelligent and cultured people. Dr. Bob offers to leave the room.
	November 4, 1982
Dr. Bob tells Fozzie the only way to overcome his fears and insecurities is to take them on, one by one. Fozzie says they'd beat the living daylights out of him.
	November 5, 1982
Kermit tells Fozzie his secret to meals as a bachelor—ordering pizza from Mario's Pizza Palace.
	November 6, 1982
Fozzie listens to a record to cheer him up. The record player plays "The sun'll come out tomorrow... for everybody but you, Fozzie."
	November 7, 1982 (Sunday)
While at the bar, Kermit and Fozzie order root beers. Fozzie fears everyone can sense his childlike insecurities. Fozzie's drink arrives in a baby bottle.
	November 8, 1982
While Kermit is reading Variety, Robin comes in to introduce his uncle to his new best friend named Porky. Robin says, "It's gonna be me and Porky forever." Kermit, looking at a picture of Miss Piggy, can relate.
	November 9, 1982
Kermit pulls on the phone cord to reel in Robin who is on the phone with his friend Porky.
	November 10, 1982
Miss Piggy tells Kermit they should get a divorce. Kermit points out they're not even married. Piggy says they have to start somewhere.
	November 11, 1982
Fozzie is stumped when Kermit asks him how he's been.
	November 12, 1982
The Three Bears complain that their porridge is too hot, too cold, and yukky. Kermit tells Fozzie, "Hey, don't look at me, they're your crabby relatives."
	November 13, 1982
A Whatnot woman asks Fozzie if anyone has ever told him that he looks just like Fozzie Bear.
	November 14, 1982 (Sunday)
While reading 'TV Tips' on the couch with Foo-Foo, Miss Piggy can't decide what to watch on TV (football, 60 Minutes, or some dumb TV movie). She treats her depression by downing a quart of ice cream. In one panel, Beetle Bailey appears on Piggy's television.
	November 15, 1982
Kermit tells Dr. Bob that he can't wait for the first snow. As they watch Robin and a friend play, Kermit talks about his excitement for the magic in the air. Bob talks about his excitement for being able to charge $80 per cast for skiing mishaps.
	November 16, 1982
Robin inquires as to why Kermit is staring out the window. He explains that he's watching for the first snowfall. Robin fears his uncle is losing his mind.
	November 17, 1982
Kermit continues to long for the first snowfall. He tells Kermit it's like waiting for a visit from an old friend... but once he arrives "we're gonna have a hard time getting rid of him."
	November 18, 1982
Kermit turns away from the window to tell Robin how important it is for him to see the first snowflake and he misses the first flake floating by.
	November 19, 1982
Kermit is happy the first snow is here. Robin is excited too. Kermit tells Robin that his fun is just beginning as he hands his nephew a snow shovel.
	November 20, 1982
Statler tells Waldorf that one day his body just started to go. Waldorf puts down his copy of the Grouchy News and points to Statler's gut, saying: "I think I know where it went."
	November 21, 1982 (Sunday)
Robin is playing a new "War Lord" video game. He tells his Uncle Kermit that the game has rockets, spaceships, demons, extraterrestrials, super-warp speed, and startling visual effects. It's so realistic that it blows up the television set.
	November 22, 1982
Dr. Bob asks Janice how she became a nurse. She says it was either nursing or working at an avocado ranch (but the thought of branding "all those helpless little avocados" grossed her out).
	November 23, 1982
Nurse Janice tells Dr. Bob that his next patient keeps hearing bells. She then welcomes in "Mr. Quasimodo."
	November 24, 1982
Fozzie tells Dr. Bob that he tried to be funny to get attention. Dr. Bob says maybe he should've tried to get laughs instead.
	November 25, 1982
Fozzie boos and heckles himself while Statler and Waldorf look on. Fozzie remarks, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
	November 26, 1982
Robin makes bad jokes about Kermit's cooking. Kermit drags him off saying it's the time he lets Robin spend the day with Fozzie. Robin continues to joke, saying, "take my uncle, please."
	November 27, 1982
Beauregard calls Miss Piggy's messy dressing room a "real pigsty."
	November 28, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit helps Fozzie edit his monologue. After a series of cuts, he's left with 3.5 seconds of material.
	November 29, 1982
Miss Piggy gets Kermit's permission to ask Beauregard to help put together Foo-Foo's doghouse. She assures him that it should not take long, "of course, the hot tub could be a bit tricky."
	November 30, 1982
Gonzo hikes up to "Parachute Point." He jumps off, shouting "Geronimo!" After crashing into the ground, he realizes that he should have taken off his backpack and put on his parachute first.
	December 1, 1982
Gonzo hikes up to "Parachute Point" again. He makes sure he has his parachute on this time. He jumps off again, shouting "Geronimo!" As he falls, he realizes his chute is upside-down.
	December 2, 1982
Gonzo hikes up to "Parachute Point" yet again. He makes sure he has his parachute on this time. He makes sure it is right-side up this time. When the rip cord breaks off in his hand, he decides that next time he should "stay home and ride the bus."
	December 3, 1982
Gonzo phones Kermit to tell him that he's going to be late for the cast party. In a room overgrown with houseplants, he states that he has to "vacuum the plants and weed the rug."
	December 4, 1982
Fozzie remarks that the place where he is dining has good food, good service, and good prices—it's his mom's.
	December 5, 1982 (Sunday)
Fozzie calls a help-line for depression. The recorded message tells him to cheer up, it could be worse, he could be listening to one of Fozzie Bear's monologues.
	December 6, 1982
When a chipper Gonzo says that he loves Monday, Kermit says, "He's even sicker than I thought."
	December 7, 1982
Miss Piggy orders some fresh-squeezed orange juice. The waiter squeezes the carton.
	December 8, 1982
While in a movie theater, Kermit tells Rowlf that there's "too much sex in the cinema." The rest of the auditorium is full of lovestruck Whatnots in tight embraces.
	December 9, 1982
Fozzie asks who turned off the heat. Kermit says they have to conserve energy. Miss Piggy sarcastically adds that they're preserving the polar ice cap.
	December 10, 1982
Kermit installs a new 10-gallon heated aquarium with airstone and filter. Robin uses it as a hot tub.
	December 11, 1982
Kermit calls the phone company to report that his phone bell is broken so he never knows when the phone is ringing. They say they'll call him back.
	December 12, 1982 (Sunday)
Kermit tells Miss Piggy to calm down, but she wants to make a good first impression for her new cleaning lady. So Piggy asks Fozzie to clean up, Robin to wash the floors, and Floyd to lock up Animal.
	December 13, 1982
Robin wants to know if there is a way to get older quicker. Kermit says there is one way—"have children."
	December 14, 1982
Kermit tells Robin about the disturbing seminar he went to about closet eaters. He opens his closet to find Fozzie snacking.
	December 15, 1982
Kermit gets a phonecall of grunting and growling. It's Robin's football coach.
	December 16, 1982
Fozzie asks whatever happened to those old movie monsters, such as Dracula, Frankenstein, and Wolf Man. Kermit says they got jobs with the phone company.
	December 17, 1982
While looking at an X-ray, Dr. Bob is told by Nurse Janice there's a woman who needs a molar pulled. He says he's a physician and a psychiatrist but not a dentist. She says it pays $50. He says, "Get me my pliers!"
	December 18, 1982
Rowlf asks Kermit if he thinks there's an all-powerful being who controls our destinies. Kermit says yes, "the comics editor of this newspaper."
	December 19, 1982 (Sunday)
Beauregard helps cover the ticket booth for Scooter. He's excited when he gets his first customers. He says those are the very first Muppet Show tickets he's ever sold. Statler and Waldorf say those are the very first Muppet Show tickets that anybody's ever sold.
	December 20, 1982
Miss Piggy is heartbroken when the Ladies' Wear salesman tells her during a big sale that it's closing time.
	December 21, 1982
Kermit lets Robin go and play since he cleaned his plate. Robin rushes outside and dumps "these dumb lima beans" out of his hat.
	December 22, 1982
Nurse Janice wonders what it must be like to be an awesome and respected physician. She tells Dr. Bob if she ever meets one, she'll ask him.
	December 23, 1982
Miss Piggy says there's no communication between her and Kermit. Rizzo suggests that she sit down and talk with Kermit about the problem. She says she can't, she's giving him the silent treatment.
	December 24, 1982
Fozzie brings Kermit a Christmas gift. The rats offer him coffee. Rowlf, Miss Piggy, and Gonzo come with gifts for Kermit. As his desk is loaded with presents, Kermit remarks, "What some guys'll do just to get their Christmas bonus."
	December 25, 1982
Robin tells Kermit that he's been working on writing their Christmas card all day, but he can only come up with one little word — peace. Kermit says it's perfect.
	December 26, 1982 (Sunday)
A man asks Dr. Bob, "How do you get to the Muppet Theater?" He says, "Well, first you have to be a Muppet." The man auditions for Kermit, showing his magic skills, illusions, balancing, and juggling. Kermit gives him the job. As the man leaves, Fozzie asks who that was. Kermit says, "My new accountant."
	December 27, 1982
Fozzie asks a big monster to pass the bread and butter.
	December 28, 1982
Beauregard's laundry is scattered all over the floor. Miss Piggy asks Bo to pick up his clothes, so he lifts his shirt.
	December 29, 1982
Kermit tells Fozzie to break a leg. Fozzie says if the crowd is anything like last night, they'll break it for him.
	December 30, 1982
Kermit feels like he's "losing ground" in their relationship as Miss Piggy pushes him toward the edge of a cliff.
	December 31, 1982
Floyd asks Kermit if Animal can have a bite of his sandwich. Animal eats the whole sandwich and Kermit's hand.
===1983===
	January 1, 1983
A snake tells Fozzie he likes to curl up with a good book.
	January 2, 1983 (Sunday)
Dr. Bob practices his golf driving in his office. With a damaged wall, he remarks that he can't wait until spring.
	January 3, 1983
Sitting by a fire in a cozy mountain cabin, Kermit tells Fozzie that he loves their time away with no one around to bother them. Meanwhile, a gigantic monster approaches the cabin.
	January 4, 1983
Kermit asks Fozzie if it's too cold to fly a kite in the snow. Fozzie says the string is frozen stiff.
	January 5, 1983
Fozzie decides to play the video arcade game The Black Hole. Like a literal black hole, it proceeds to suck him in.
	January 6, 1983
Fozzie is struck by a falling star.
	January 7, 1983
Fozzie says Dr. Bob wants to fix him up with one of his cousins. Kermit asks if he's seen a picture of her. Fozzie says no one has a clear picture of her—giving her the mystique of Bigfoot.
	January 8, 1983
Miss Piggy tries to ask Kermit out, he pulls his head into his sweater. Piggy says she hates turtlenecks.
	January 9, 1983 (Sunday)
While dining out, Gonzo has a hard time getting a waiter's attention. But when he laments to Camilla that he just wants change so he can leave a tip, all the waiters come running.
	January 10, 1983
Miss Piggy says just once she'd like to hear Kermit say "Piggy, my darling—I'm head over heels in love with you." Kermit, who is tied up and hanging from the ceiling, asks "if I say it, will you cut me down?"
	January 11, 1983
Kermit is having a bad day—listing all the horrible things that have gone wrong today. He asks what else could possibly go wrong just as an angry monster in a suit carrying a briefcase saying IRS rounds the corner.
	January 12, 1983
Fozzie opens the front door to a flood of water. He remarks "I guess the dry spell is over."
	January 13, 1983
Beauregard overhears Kermit telling Robin that "you are what you eat." Bo is confused because he doesn't look like a peanut butter sandwich.
	January 14, 1983
Two rats see "the garbage guys" coming. One rat asks where their truck is. As the two monsters dump the trash into their mouths, the other rat replies "what truck?"
	January 15, 1983
Fozzie asks Gonzo "anybody mind if I sit here?" As he sits in the chair, he jumps up in pain. A porcupine sitting on the chair says "I do!"
	January 16, 1983 (Sunday)
Robin shows his uncle Kermit the latest arcade game. Kermit offers up a couple quarters so Robin can play. Robin says the game only takes credit cards.
	January 17, 1983
Miss Piggy is a pig in her natural habitat—a shopping mall.
	January 18, 1983
Miss Piggy is in a phone booth. She's continually bothered by someone tapping on the door who turns out to be E.T., who phones home.
	January 19, 1983
Kermit gives a long-winded philosophical speech about who knows what the future holds. Miss Piggy says "look, if you don't want to go out tomorrow night, just say so."
	January 20, 1983
Fozzie orders a "bottomless" cup of coffee. He lifts the cup to see it literally has no bottom.
	January 21, 1983
A groggy Fozzie says he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He slept on the bottom side.
	January 22, 1983
Gonzo tells Kermit that a new moped costs $400 but he only had $200. He then shows off his "logical" purchase of a motorized unicycle.
	January 23, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit shows Miss Piggy his "spin and drop" method for paying his bills.
	January 24, 1983
Fozzie tells Kermit that the "two old buzzards in the balcony" are ruining his act. When Kermit asks if he means Statler and Waldorf, Fozzie points out two angry birds in the balcony next to them.
	January 25, 1983
Beauregard brings Miss Piggy breakfast in bed.
	January 26, 1983
The picture on Beauregard's TV is upside down. Bo thinks the TV is broken. Kermit "fixes" it by turning the TV right-side-up.
	January 27, 1983
The Swedish Chef makes Fozzie a chicken sandwich with a live unamused chicken between two slices of bread.
	January 28, 1983
Fozzie slips on a banana peel. The rats score his fall.
	January 29, 1983
Fozzie tries to mail a package to his mom. After getting the rates for first, second and third class mail, he settles for the low-rate "No Class."
	January 30, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo and Rowlf are playing poker. They talk about scary movies they went to see. Kermit went to "The Werewolf." Gonzo went to "The Amityville Horror." Rowlf went to "The Mummy," "The Screaming Vampire," and "The Exorcist." Fozzie went to see the scariest thing last night—the dentist.
	January 31, 1983
Kermit says Timed magazine says this is the year for self-improvement. Miss Piggy asks what is she supposed to do while "the rest of you get straightened out."
	February 1, 1983
Miss Piggy asks Foo-Foo to play dead. Foo-Foo doesn't take requests.
	February 2, 1983
Nurse Janice asks Dr. Bob how his practice is going. Dr. Bob says his golf practice is not going well.
	February 3, 1983
Gonzo says he hates his new boomerang. Fozzie asks why doesn't he return it. Gonzo said he's tried as the boomerang comes flying back to him.
	February 4, 1983
Beauregard accidentally throws out Miss Piggy's diamond earrings. While attempting to get them out of trash, Piggy falls into the trashcan head first and gets stuck. Kermit bemoans never having a camera when you need one.
	February 5, 1983
While the phone is ringing, Kermit asks Beauregard to get the phone. Bo rips the phone off the wall and brings it to Kermit (but it stopped ringing).
	February 6, 1983 (Sunday)
Fozzie can't find his seat at the football game. He ends up on the field and is tackled by the players.
	February 7, 1983
Kermit asks Fozzie what he wants out of life. Aside from love, respect and fulfillment, Fozzie would also just settle for a good gag writer.
	February 8, 1983
Kermit tells Fozzie that Robin just got his first Frog Scout badge for playing Pac-Man.
	February 9, 1983
Dr. Bob tells Mr. Coyer that his anesthesiologist is sick with the flu. While the patient asks to be put out for the operation, Dr. Bob asks the nurse for his nine iron.
	February 10, 1983
Beauregard changes a lightbulb by holding the bulb and having Kermit spin him on a spinning office chair.
	February 11, 1983
Beauregard watches the mail approach as the sun rises and sets. It is being delivered by a turtle.
	February 12, 1983
Kermit asks mystic Gonzo to make him a cup of coffee. Gonzo provides instant coffee and magically makes a cup appear.
	February 13, 1983 (Sunday)
The health inspector comes to inspect the Muppet Theater. He notes all the rats in the building and asks how did they get here. Kermit says "they auditioned like everybody else."
	February 14, 1983
Miss Piggy reminds Kermit that today is Valentine's Day—a day to give your loved one a token of your affection. Kermit asks what she's giving him. She says "a half-hour to buy me a present!"
	February 15, 1983
Miss Piggy receives a phone call of grunts and growling. It's a call for Animal.
	February 16, 1983
Robin gets the lead in the school play. Kermit says the stage is wonderful but comes with certain problems. Robin says he knows as a young, small pig fawns all over him.
	February 17, 1983
While at the bar with Kermit, Rowlf asks a woman if she wants to come back to his place for a nightcap. The woman already has one.
	February 18, 1983
Fozzie's act bombed. The audience threw so many vegetables at him. Kermit says "you didn't lose an audience, you gained a salad bar."
	February 19, 1983
Kermit asks Fozzie what made him decide cross-country skiing. Fozzie (wearing a pack saying "L.A. or bust") says it's cheaper than air fare.
	February 20, 1983 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy is wrapping gifts from her post-holiday shopping spree. She accidentally wraps up Kermit.
	February 21, 1983
At a western saloon, Kermit orders a shot of milk and a chaser. He gets his shot of milk and is chased by Miss Piggy.
	February 22, 1983
Fozzie asks the audience to stop booing and "grow up." The audience is full of babies.
	February 23, 1983
While walking in the rain, Robin asks what the things on Kermit's feet are. Kermit says they're spats. Robin asks why they're called that as Kermit's footsteps go "spat, spat, spat" through the puddles.
	February 24, 1983
In a messy theater, Kermit tells Beauregard to "pick up this place." Bo attempts to literally lift the building.
	February 25, 1983
Floyd uses his guitar to smash a fly. Zoot says that last note was awesome.
	February 26, 1983
After making a decision, Kermit asks Miss Piggy "who wears the pants around here." Revealing Piggy in pants and Kermit in his normal naked state, he says "let me rephrase that."
	February 27, 1983 (Sunday)
Dr. Bob is frozen in snow and ice with his golf clubs. After he defrosts and finishes his shot, he tells Kermit "when you're shooting a 60, you don't let a little thing like winter stop you."
	February 28, 1983
Miss Piggy wakes up and says it's time to get herself in gear. As she returns to bed, she tells Foo-Foo "reverse is a gear."
	March 1, 1983
Kermit tells Miss Piggy to correct him if he's wrong. She interrupts him to say he's wrong.
	March 2, 1983
While looking up at the stars, Kermit asks Fozzie if he thinks there's intelligent life on other planets. Meanwhile, while looking up at the stars and Earth, an alien asks another alien if they think there's intelligent life on other planets.
	March 3, 1983
Waldorf says they're in the "autumn of our years." Statler says their bodies have gone south for the winter.
	March 4, 1983
Robin asks Statler to tell him about the good old days. Statler says when you're as old as him you don't take a stroll down memory lane, you take the bus.
	March 5, 1983
Outside the subway, Fozzie crawls out of a storm drain and says "this isn't gonna be my day."
	March 6, 1983 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy describes her hectic day of clothes shopping just to reach her credit limit for the bunch. Kermit describes his day by choking himself, slamming his head on the ground, and stomping his feet on the floor. Piggy complains about his inability to provide a straight answer since he started taking mime classes.
	March 7, 1983
Fozzie tells Gonzo that the Swedish Chef's food tastes like garbage. The chef is serving pasta from a garbage can.
	March 8, 1983
A muscular sailor hits on Dr. Bob's date. She fights back as Dr. Bob reveals he picked her up at the health spa.
	March 9, 1983
A patient tells Nurse Janice that he needs to see the doctor because he's going crazy. She says "Today is Wednesday, and if you think you're going to see him today, you are crazy" as Dr. Bob leaves the office with his golf clubs.
	March 10, 1983
Statler tells Waldorf that his lawyer is coming to revise his will. He says "it's funny—they say 'the meek shall inherit the Earth'... but their lawyers are getting twenty percent off the top."
	March 11, 1983
After seeing a sign for a tag sale, Waldorf says he's sick of tag sales and "all you ever find at tag sales is creaky, useless, dilapidated old junk." Statler reminds Waldorf that they met at a tag sale.
	March 12, 1983
Miss Piggy says there are three great lies in western civilization: the check's in the mail, the repairman will be there in a few minutes, and "not tonight, I have an important meeting at the frog lodge".
	March 13, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit runs a new comedy sketch by Fozzie. Fozzie says it's full of "very funny, top-rate, boffo jokes". After hearing Fozzie would do it, Kermit tells Scooter to can it.
	March 14, 1983
Kermit says if you think it's easy running a theater, try walking a mile in his shoes. Robin tries on his uncle's shoes and can barely walk.
	March 15, 1983
Before bed, Robin says a prayer. Starting with "now I lay me down to sleep," Robin thanks the Lord for his webbed feet.
	March 16, 1983
A voice tells Kermit to "stop right there" and face the wall, place his hands on his head, and spread his feet. It turns out to be Robin playing a game of "Simon Says".
	March 17, 1983
Beauregard says he can't sleep. Miss Piggy says try counting sheep. Bo says he can't count.
	March 18, 1983
Two Whatnot doctors talk about the medical profession going to the dogs. Dr. Bob arrives and greets them.
	March 19, 1983
Miss Piggy talks to a "preppie" while using cliche phrases and enthusiasm to invite "Buffy" and "Biff" to brunch.
	March 20, 1983 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy sings "Piggy and Kermit sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." while jumping rope. As her children's song continues, Kermit says "there she goes, the sophisticated woman of the eighties."
	March 21, 1983
Fozzie orders two hot dogs to go. The hot dogs jump up and run off.
	March 22, 1983
Robin tells Miss Piggy that the clouds look like vanilla ice cream. Piggy didn't know cloud watching could be fattening.
	March 23, 1983
Robin is working on the Second Class badge for Frog Scouts. Kermit tells him to practice his knot tying on rope instead of Miss Piggy's hair.
	March 24, 1983
Dr. Bob is playing golf in Robin's sandbox.
	March 25, 1983
Fozzie, attempting to hail a cab, points to a taxi and says "taxi." The driver says "That is correct. This is a taxi" and drives off.
	March 26, 1983
Fozzie walks in while Miss Piggy and Janice are talking and is told to go away "this is girl talk." Later, Gonzo walks in while Fozzie is with his Teddy bear and is told to go away "this is bear talk."
	March 27, 1983 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy tells Beauregard to park in front of a fire hydrant. He's unsure until she shows him it was a prop she put there last night to save the parking space.
	March 28, 1983
Kermit wonders where all the paper towels and toilet paper have gone. Robin is playing mummy.
	March 29, 1983
Miss Piggy is scared of a diet soda.
	March 30, 1983
Kermit the Frog and Dr. Bob are playing golf. Beauregard is their caddy. Dr. Bob tells Bo to bring the golfcart around, so he carries the cart to them.
	March 31, 1983
Rowlf tells Kermit that he had fleas living in his fur. Kermit asks how he got rid of them. Rowlf says he raised the rent.
	April 1, 1983
Miss Piggy recounts to Kermit how Trish chased Chip, they got married and it only lasted two months; likewise, Margie chased Frank and their marriage lasted a week. She concludes that the only way she'll ever lose Kermit is if she actually catches him.
	April 2, 1983
Floyd and Zoot watch The Late Show and promptly fall asleep.
	April 3, 1983 (Sunday)
Fozzie is reluctant to go on stage until Kermit reminds him of his paycheck, prompting Fozzie to exclaim "the show must go on!"
	April 4, 1983
Miss Piggy shows Kermit her old home movies, but she isn't in them. She explains her parents never came to terms on a decent contract for her.
	April 5, 1983
Miss Piggy shows Kermit her new electric refrigerator door opener.
	April 6, 1983
Kermit explains to Robin why his calendar is still on March.
	April 7, 1983
Robin asks his friend Porky if his parents ever told him about the birds and the bees. As a pair of birds and bees look on, Porky wonders what the birds and bees must be saying about them.
	April 8, 1983
When the bill comes at a restaurant, Statler has just $1.63 and Waldorf only has $1.35. The waiter offers to come back when they get their social security checks, but the old men state those are their social security checks.
	April 9, 1983
Fozzie watches a baseball game on TV in 3-D.
	April 10, 1983 (Sunday)
Fozzie works with the Swedish Chef. Fozzie does his best despite the language barrier.
	April 11, 1983
Fozzie is proud that it's his first time golfing and he's on the green in three. He's playing miniature golf with Kermit.
	April 12, 1983
Dr. Bob introduces his new "30 Days to a Better You" program. He signs Fozzie up for 90 days.
	April 13, 1983
Kermit and Robin are enjoying the calm, relaxing night out under the stars. Unbeknownst to them they are sitting on the back of a gigantic, angry bear.
	April 14, 1983
Robin hypes himself up while pitching in a baseball game, thinking maybe his pitching streak will earn him a new league record or get him his own after-shave commercial.
	April 15, 1983
Beauregard tells Kermit that he didn't know which of the two keys he was given could open the theater. Kermit asks why didn't he just use his head. Bo says "because it wouldn't fit into the keyhole."
	April 16, 1983
A man outside the coat check at Le Swank Cuisine asks to take Miss Piggy's coat. He then gives it to his wife Mavis saying "some of them movie stars can be right generous."
	April 17, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit poetically tells Robin about how Mother Nature awakens from her slumber in the spring and chases "Old Man Winter" away. Robin thinks it's all baloney, but it sounds nice.
	April 18, 1983
Kermit tells Beauregard that it's only April and it may be too early to plant his garden because the plants could freeze. Bo says it's okay because he's planting frozen vegetables.
	April 19, 1983
Kermit reassures that no one is laughing at him for not being able to catch a fish. Meanwhile the fish are all laughing at him.
	April 20, 1983
Dr. Bob ponders to Kermit about whether his golf game will improve since he last played. They both doubt it.
	April 21, 1983
Beauregard gets too emotionally invested watching TV. He's at the brink of tears hoping that the new laundry detergent gets rid of the ring around the collar.
	April 22, 1983
Robin pretends to be a courageous sea captain steering his ship through a storm—he's in the shower.
	April 23, 1983
Kermit asks Gonzo if he's fishing. Gonzo replies that he's walking his goldfish.
	April 24, 1983 (Sunday)
Fozzie stumbles onto the stage for his dance routine. Miss Piggy asks if that was "The Charleston." Kermit says "no, it was the waxed floor."
	April 25, 1983
Beauregard tells Fozzie Bear that he thinks he used too much softener as the two look at a deformed and softened washing machine.
	April 26, 1983
Fozzie tells Gonzo he's going to a "Lonely Hearts" meeting where they mostly just sit around and play cards. Gonzo asks if they play poker or bridge, Fozzie says it's mostly solitaire.
	April 27, 1983
Statler wakes up chipper and happy. He makes himself a cup of coffee that he gags on, stating that he's never grumpy until after his first cup of coffee.
	April 28, 1983
Scooter informs Kermit that Miss Piggy is on stage singing "The Lullaby Song" as the opening number when it is supposed to be the closing act. Kermit says hopefully the audience falls asleep and won't notice.
	April 29, 1983
Kermit rushes to scold Robin for writing on the walls until he sees what he's writing—"Robin ♥'s Uncle Kermit."
	April 30, 1983
When Fozzie says he thinks he's going crazy, Dr. Bob tells him that they don't use the term "crazy" in his office, preferring phrases like "emotionally troubled," "confused," or "psychologically disturbed." Fozzie says "how about 'nutty as a fruitcake'?" Dr. Bob is fine with that.
	May 1, 1983 (Sunday)
The Swedish Chef brings Fozzie a stack of pancakes. Fozzie says he ordered waffles. The chef takes the stack and stomps on it with his boot giving them a waffled imprint.
	May 2, 1983
Gonzo gives Miss Piggy some of the finest imported water. They agree that imported water is classy. However, Piggy spits it out when Gonzo reveals that he's serving water from Mexico.
	May 3, 1983
The phone company repossess the phone right out of Kermit's hand and through the wall.
	May 4, 1983
While fishing, Fozzie catches a golfing Dr. Bob who asks "can't a guy play his water shots in peace?!"
	May 5, 1983
Mr. Brinkley tells Dr. Bob that he can't read the prescription he wrote for him. Dr. Bob informs him that it's a prescription for glasses.
	May 6, 1983
Kermit agrees to a date when Miss Piggy enters in military fatigues and carrying a rifle with bayonet. He regrets lending her his "Beetle Bailey" books.
	May 7, 1983
Beauregard doesn't know why his saw doesn't work. Kermit says he's holding it the wrong way. Bo switches from holding it upside-down to holding it upside-down and backwards.
	May 8, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit tries to console Robin after he reveals he lost his best friend. Robin clarifies they didn't have a fight or falling out, he literally lost him in his messy room. Robin's room includes framed pictures of Mickey Mouse and Rowlf the Dog on the wall.
	May 9, 1983
Fozzie sees a sign warning "Caution: Low-flying Aircraft." As he looks up, a small plane knocks him over at the knees.
	May 10, 1983
While Animal chases off a panicked door-to-door salesman, Kermit tells Miss Piggy "sure, he digs up the lawn a little... but we haven't had a solicitor stop by in months."
	May 11, 1983
A chicken sees a sign saying "yield." She leaves an egg.
	May 12, 1983
Waldorf says today is "the first day of the rest of our lives." Statler says "whoopee ding-dong."
	May 13, 1983
The salesman at Hardly Hardware tries to convince Fozzie to start a garden just like him. Fozzie asks what he's raising. The salesman says "seed prices."
	May 14, 1983
Fozzie sees a sign for "Hungry Man's Buffet" that states all you can eat for only "$5.00 a head." Fozzie thinks it's a great deal. A two-headed monster disagrees.
	May 15, 1983 (Sunday)
Fozzie tells Kermit that he almost caught "Old Gus" the oldest, meanest fish in the lake. Kermit asks for some proof. Fozzie shows him the dentures on his line.
	May 16, 1983
Miss Piggy orders the Chef's Salad. The waiter takes the salad from the table of the Swedish the Chef and says "you're in luck, he's hardly touched it."
	May 17, 1983
Fozzie asks Miss Piggy why his houseplants are dying. While standing waist-deep in a flooded room, Piggy suggests maybe he's watering them too much.
	May 18, 1983
Dr. Bob treats a snake with a stiff neck.
	May 19, 1983
Dr. Bob tells Nurse Janice the new office aquarium was a great idea. It's peaceful and relaxing. He enjoys fishing in it.
	May 20, 1983
Kermit asks Dr. Bob what he's going to use on a difficult golf shot. Dr. Bob replies "profanity."
	May 21, 1983
While fishing, Kermit tells Fozzie that he doesn't think there are swordfish in the water. Fozzie, dressed in armor with a sword and shield, says he's ready for them.
	May 22, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit and Fozzie lament having "a lot of work to do today." They procrastinate and go fishing, saying "boy, do we have a lot of work to do tomorrow."
	May 23, 1983
Miss Piggy tells the waiter she just wants a little something to nibble on. She moves in on Kermit, saying "he'll do."
	May 24, 1983
While cooking in a pot on the stove, a chicken tells another chicken that "it's not the heat that bothers me so much, it's the humidity."
	May 25, 1983
Fozzie asks if looking up at the big sky makes you feel small. Thog says "did you say something pipsqueak?"
	May 26, 1983
Rizzo shows himself with his mirror image, with his girlfriend Joy, and himself "besides myself with Joy."
	May 27, 1983
Kermit tells Fozzie he can't go out on stage in his underwear. Fozzie drops his boxers and goes out on stage pantsless.
	May 28, 1983
Robin tells Kermit that he can't come to breakfast because he's playing his "Alien Invasion" video game. Kermit says "well, Flash, when you're finished saving us all from the alien hordes, your Fruit Loops are ready."
	May 29, 1983 (Sunday)
Gonzo says he saw a UFO; Miss Piggy says he is a UFO. Fozzie doesn't believe Gonzo's tale of his encounter until seeing his scorched backside.
	May 30, 1983
At a barbeque, Robin and his friends use Kermit's string of hot dogs to play jump rope.
	May 31, 1983
Uncle Rizzo's Rhymes writes a parody of "Rub-a-Dub-Dub."
	June 1, 1983
Uncle Rizzo's Rhymes writes a parody of "There Was A Crooked Man."
	June 2, 1983
Uncle Rizzo's Rhymes writes a parody of "Humpty Dumpty."
	June 3, 1983
Uncle Rizzo's Rhymes writes a parody of "Mary Had a Little Lamb."
	June 4, 1983
Uncle Rizzo's Rhymes writes a parody of "Little Miss Muffet."
	June 5, 1983 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy tells Kermit she could really go for pizza, a milkshake, and a hot fudge sundae. As Kermit leaves to get the food, he wonders why everytime she can really go for something, he winds up going for it.
	June 6, 1983
An army tank bursts through the wall with its gun pointed at Miss Piggy. The crewman shouts "I'm from the bank. Give us back the credit cards!"
	June 7, 1983
Fozzie gets his fortune from a 25-cent fortune machine. It says "he's a guy who knows where he's going" as he walks into a tree.
	June 8, 1983
Rizzo is playing baseball and asks for them to toss him the ball. When crushed by the giant ball he says he's not ready to play with "the big boys."
	June 9, 1983
Gonzo witnesses a giant rock fall and crush a sign that says "Danger! Falling Rocks." The rock tells Gonzo "we don't need any bad publicity."
	June 10, 1983
Miss Piggy wants to know where her brush, curlers and blow-dryer have gone. Janice is using them to give Animal a make-over because he's going to a formal.
	June 11, 1983
Beauregard gets a long distance phone call for Kermit.
	June 12, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit asks Fozzie how he comes up with material. Fozzie says most of the time he just steals jokes.
	June 13, 1983
Kermit and Gonzo do a tightrope act while Miss Piggy hangs laundry on the line.
	June 14, 1983
Fozzie and Gonzo are getting nowhere when paddling in opposite directions in their canoe.
	June 15, 1983
Dr. Bob asks Kermit if wants to play golf, weather-permitting... or Miss Piggy-permitting.
	June 16, 1983
Kermit and Miss Piggy play tennis.
	June 17, 1983
Miss Piggy explains how fans can be as beautiful as her—they can't.
	June 18, 1983
Miss Piggy tells a waiter to give her compliments to the chef. The waiter asks what are they.
	June 19, 1983 (Sunday)
At the club house, Dr. Bob tells Kermit about his bad day on the golf course. The course is littered with bent clubs, divots and a crashed golf cart.
	June 20, 1983
Miss Piggy is in a leg cast and arm sling. Dr. Bob tells Kermit that she had an accident at the supermarket—she tripped on her grocery list.
	June 21, 1983
Fozzie tells Kermit that Gonzo wants to be a human cannonball.
	June 22, 1983
While preparing for his human cannonball act, Gonzo shoots a cat out of his cannon.
	June 23, 1983
Fozzie tests Gonzo's canon and the recoil sends him through the wall.
	June 24, 1983
Robin tells a young dog that the umpire is lazy as he uses a butler to dust off home plate for him.
	June 25, 1983
While arriving to a flooded house, Robin tells Kermit that he might've left the water on before they went on vacation.
	June 26, 1983 (Sunday)
In a "Pigs in Space" story, Captain Link Hogthrob and Dr. Julius Strangepork fire upon a ship bringing First Mate Piggy's pizza delivery.
	June 27, 1983
The Swinetrek crew is on "an endless journey through the universe and beyond." Captain Link Hogthrob asks First Mate Piggy to stop at the next fuel station so he can use "the little boys' room."
	June 28, 1983
The Swinetrek crew arrives on an alien planet. First Mate Piggy asks the aliens with stylish hair to "take me to your hairdresser."
	June 29, 1983
In a "Pigs in Space" strip, Captain Hogtrob informs First Mate Piggy that she flunked her survival test. When asked what she would take if stranded on an alien planet, she had answered "a frog."
	June 30, 1983
Dr. Julius Strangepork informs Captain Link Hogthrob that they're in for a meteor shower. The Captain is disappointed because he just washed the ship.
	July 1, 1983
Dr. Julius Strangepork studies alien rocks.
	July 2, 1983
First Mate Piggy goes for a spacewalk to the ATM.
	July 3, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit says he'll join Robin at the park after he reads the funnies in the newspaper. At the park, Robin finds a frisbee and tosses it to Fozzie. When Fozzie catches it, the object opens up and he's zapped in the face by a tiny alien with a ray gun.
	July 4, 1983
Piggy tells Kermit she loves his family picnics because all the frogs use their tongues to eat the mosquitoes.
	July 5, 1983
Robin shocks Fozzie and Kermit when he jumps extra high on his bed.
	July 6, 1983
Robin and his friend crank up the volume on Animal's radio.
	July 7, 1983
Fozzie chases a fire-breathing dragon fly.
	July 8, 1983
Dr. Bob diagnoses Fozzie.
	July 9, 1983
Two rats give commentary on the game when Fozzie catches a homerun baseball in the stands.
	July 10, 1983 (Sunday)
Rowlf spends several panels teeing up his golf ball, takes a swing, watches it soar, and gets hit with it in the head. Kermit is impressed by his heck of a slice.
	July 11, 1983
Kermit and Beauregard go fishing.
	July 12, 1983
Kermit and Miss Piggy go to a nuclear power plant where it's not just the fireflies that glow.
	July 13, 1983
Waldorf is losing his hearing.
	July 14, 1983
A bee goes home.
	July 15, 1983
While out with Kermit, Miss Piggy meets a fellow night person — a vampire.
	July 16, 1983
Beauregard shows off his finger paintings to Miss Piggy.
	July 17, 1983 (Sunday)
Piggy wants to fill the bird feeder with seeds, but Kermit explains the summer is when birds are supposed to forage for their own food. Piggy asks again when a muscled bird twice her size lands on the feeder.
	July 18, 1983
Nurse Janice tells Kermit that Dr. Bob can't see any patients (because he lost his contacts).
	July 19, 1983
Fozzie finds it easy to perform when the audience is his family.
	July 20, 1983
Rowlf's uncle is a big game hunter. However, he has lousy aim, so he has a wall of taxidermied and mounted animal butts.
	July 21, 1983
Statler and Waldorf shop for an unwelcoming doormat.
	July 22, 1983
Kermit and Gonzo ride seahorses.
	July 23, 1983
Rowlf and Gonzo watch women on the beach.
	July 24, 1983 (Sunday)
Robin and Kermit listen to the sounds outdoors at night from owls and crickets. Robin says the crickets must be wearing Corduroys.
	July 25, 1983
Gonzo spray paints the Mona Lisa.
	July 26, 1983
Miss Piggy orders ice cream.
	July 27, 1983
Dr. Bob gives Nurse Janice a new vaccine for her terminal "valley-girl-itis".
	July 28, 1983
Robin gets a digital watch.
	July 29, 1983
Fozzie finds a fly in his soup. The waiter rushes to replace his order and ruins the joke.
	July 30, 1983
Beauregard vacuums up some tiny aliens.
	July 31, 1983 (Sunday)
Fozzie struggles to find his way out of a swamp. Just as things start to be looking up for him, he walks into an alligator.
	August 1, 1983
Fozzie orders a new TV antenna–a coathanger arrives.
	August 2, 1983
When Kermit is doing housework, Miss Piggy confuses an iron for a phone.
	August 3, 1983
Dr. Bob goes golfing at the beach.
	August 4, 1983
Fozzie gets an offer for a new joke writer.
	August 5, 1983
Miss Piggy packs for a weekend trip with an elephant and Sherpa to carry her luggage.
	August 6, 1983
Kermit has good news and bad news for Statler and Waldorf.
	August 7, 1983 (Sunday)
A lamp washes up on the beach near two clams. Miss Piggy approaches and says it could be "Aladdin's lamp." She rubs it and a genie pops out to grant her one wish. She makes her wish and suddenly Kermit appears in a tuxedo, she is in a wedding dress and the genie starts a wedding ceremony saying "dearly beloved..."
	August 8, 1983
After jogging past a sign for "quick print" and "quick food," Miss Piggy falls into quick sand.
	August 9, 1983
Kermit begins to tell Piggy about a big sale, but she screams past him before he can reveal that it's at the hardware store.
	August 10, 1983
Miss Piggy wonders what brings the earthworms out on rainy nights.
	August 11, 1983
Gonzo has butterflies in his stomach before his stunt.
	August 12, 1983
Gonzo tells Fozzie that too much coffee makes him jumpy.
	August 13, 1983
Statler and Waldorf tell Beauregard to pound sand... so he pounds sand at the beach with a mallet.
	August 14, 1983 (Sunday)
Rowlf and Kermit get frustrated waiting for beginner golfers ahead of them. When Kermit approaches them to ask if they can play through, Piggy reveals to Janice that it was indeed the only way she'd get to see him on a Sunday.
	August 15, 1983
A handsome man causes Miss Piggy to jog into a tree.
	August 16, 1983
Miss Piggy abandons her diet and pigs out.
	August 17, 1983
Robin and Kermit accidentally summon an angry group of Indians with the "smoke signals" from their barbecue.
	August 18, 1983
Robin introduces his friend Groundhog to his Uncle Kermit.
	August 19, 1983
The Swedish Chef makes waffles with a tennis racket.
	August 20, 1983
Dr. Bob packs comedy props for a convention.
	August 21, 1983 (Sunday)
Piggy searches all over for Kermit who's hiding because he doesn't want to go out tonight. After Piggy concedes that Kermit isn't worth it anyway, he calls after her from within a trash can, "I am so!"
	August 22, 1983
Fozzie tells Kermit that the canteen is having ant problems. As ants carry away the Swedish Chef, Kermit says they must not like the chef's cooking either.
	August 23, 1983
In her dressing room with Kermit, Miss Piggy can't find her false eyelash. She says it's probably right under her nose, which it is, forming a moustache.
	August 24, 1983
Robin and his frog friend are dressed as an Old West cowboy and Indian respectively. Miss Piggy asks Robin to tell Kermit to meet her at the gallery for the hanging of a new Renoir painting. Robin unnerves his tuxedo clad uncle by saying "There's gonna be a hanging tonight!"
	August 25, 1983
Miss Piggy looks at Kermit's old tadpole pictures.
	August 26, 1983
Robin says "rain, rain, go away." It works and the sun comes out, so he then wishes for snow.
	August 27, 1983
Fozzie, with a golf club, passes a "Miniature Golf Sign." He trips over an extremely miniature hole (with tiny flag) and is yelled at by an equally miniature golfer.
	August 28, 1983 (Sunday)
After Robin bids his uncle Kermit good luck with "May the force be with you," he, Gonzo, and Fozzie congratulate him on hitting a baseball. When Piggy smothers him with kisses, Rowlf wonders whatever happened to a hearty handshake.
	August 29, 1983
Miss Piggy reads a book to Robin and a frog friend. She says it's a tale of mystery, fantasy and intrigue — her check book.
	August 30, 1983
At night, Waldorf asks Statler a seemingly existential question about why they are here. Statler gives a down to earth answer, because they missed the bus.
	August 31, 1983
Fozzie reads a sign, "Land of the Giant Oaks/Proceed with Caution!" He ignores it and is crushed by a giant acorn.
	September 1, 1983
Kermit tells Robin the eggs in the refrigerator went bad — they hatched into baby chicks.
	September 2, 1983
Miss Piggy's relatives are in the audience. Kermit isn't surprised, since the concession stand sold out.
	September 3, 1983
Miss Piggy is drawn to a male pig with eyes that remind her of her boyfriend's - a pig with Kermit's distinct pupils is seen sitting at the bar.
	September 4, 1983 (Sunday)
Piggy states that she supports equality between the sexes unless it means that the guys get served food before she does. Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and Rowlf share their colloquialisms for heroes, subs, grinders, and hoagies. Piggy explains that she calls such a sandwich an appetizer.
	September 5, 1983
Piggy explains that runners hate when other runners gain on them, just as she's passed by a jogging turtle.
	September 6, 1983
Rowlf and Kermit watch the pretty girls jogging. Kermit worries about what Miss Piggy would do if she saw him, just as Piggy jogs up.
	September 7, 1983
Continuing the jogging gags, Miss Piggy runs with Kermit attached in front of her from a pole as motivation.
	September 8, 1983
Miss Piggy goes jogging when she passes a sign saying a nude beach is ahead. She uses her sweatband to cover her eyes.
	September 9, 1983
Fozzie's audience has fallen asleep. Kermit tells him to think of it as a "Snoring Ovation."
	September 10, 1983
Fozzie, driving in traffic, has a novelty bumper sticker "I Brake for Tag Sales." He causes a multi-car accident because he did indeed brake at a sign that said "Tag Sale."
	September 11, 1983 (Sunday)
At the beach, Piggy tells Kermit all about a series of recreational activities she's partaken in during the week. She further explains that next week she starts her vacation.
	September 12, 1983
Miss Piggy tells Kermit she's bringing a portrait of someone she admires to her hairdresser. It turns out to be a portrait of herself.
	September 13, 1983
At the Muppet Theater, Gonzo's tightrope act gets rained on.
	September 14, 1983
Fozzie meets a ventriloquist and his dummy, who ask for directions to the mezzanine. The dummy walks off while the ventriloquist asks the way to the men's room.
	September 15, 1983
Fozzie and Miss Piggy are stranded on a deserted island. Fozzie says at least she can start on her diet.
	September 16, 1983
Fozzie puts a quarter in a stamp machine and is stamped on by a giant foot.
	September 17, 1983
Waldorf says he has a recurring nightmare. Statler has one of his own: his wife.
	September 18, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit teaches Piggy how to fish from a boat.
	September 19, 1983
Scooter suggests a name for Miss Piggy's fan newsletter: "Bacon Bits."
	September 20, 1983
Miss Piggy receives a love note which focuses entirely on her lower body, describing her ankles, calves, and knees. The sender is a rat.
	September 21, 1983
Rowlf, watching baseball on TV, yells at the batter, calling him an old goat, over the hill, and a fossil. He hits a home run, causing Rowlf to darn Boston Red Sox player Carl Yastrzemski (who was 44 at the time, old in baseball terms).
	September 22, 1983
Robin asks Statler what a mid-life crisis is. Statler says it's been so long since he was mid-life, he's forgotten.
	September 23, 1983
While fishing in a boat, Fozzie tells Kermit to relax as he has the fish right where he wants him. The fish is revealed to be enormous.
	September 24, 1983
Fozzie tells Miss Piggy she just missed Kermit, seen ducking out the back entrance of the theater.
	September 25, 1983 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy chases Kermit over hills, across stepping stones on a pond, jumping between cliffs, and around a tree. After finally catching him, they decide they're ready for the 1984 Olympic Games.
	September 26, 1983
Miss Piggy shows Kermit her new 8x10 glossies... measured in feet.
	September 27, 1983
Miss Piggy calls for an encore on dinner, as served by Kermit in a chef's hat.
	September 28, 1983
Kermit says that Fozzie's comedy timing is off — by two hours.
	September 29, 1983
Kermit notes that the sets for the show's gladiator number are taking time to build. Fozzie, building it with Bo, reminds him that Rome wasn't built in a day.
	September 30, 1983
Miss Piggy brings everything she needs to go camping with Robin and the Frog Scouts (which includes a kidnapped Kermit).
	October 1, 1983
Statler and Waldorf find penny holes by The Empire State Building.
	October 2, 1983 (Sunday)
While on a jog, Piggy goes through all the benefits of exercise in her head until she realizes, "I don't need any of that stuff!"
	October 3, 1983
Miss Piggy asks Sven to put her make up on faster.
	October 4, 1983
Statler and Waldorf call Pete's Pest Control on Fozzie.
	October 5, 1983
Beauregard sneezes and is grateful when Kermit says "Bless you."
	October 6, 1983
Gonzo stands in for Miss Piggy in the Muppets' rehearsals for Romeo and Juliet.
	October 7, 1983
Fozzie complains that the audience was silent. Kermit calls him a victim of the silent majority.
	October 8, 1983
Talking to Waldorf, Statler says his wife is throwing him a surprise party for his birthday.
	October 9, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit and Robin return from fishing to the cabin where they are camping with Miss Piggy. Piggy made a fire in the fireplace and burned down half the cabin.
	October 10, 1983
Scooter tells Miss Piggy that the king was in the audience and wants to meet her. Piggy is thrilled, until it turns out to be King Kong.
	October 11, 1983
Kermit tells Beauregard to sweep the stage. He does, sweeping away Miss Piggy.
	October 12, 1983
Fozzie orders the "Early Bird Special" — a worm.
	October 13, 1983
A Mr. Deli delivery boy hands Nurse Janice a lunch bag. She pays him, saying it's just what the doctor (Dr. Bob) ordered.
	October 14, 1983
Miss Piggy takes Kermit to her dressing room.
	October 15, 1983
Beauregard gets his finger stuck in a light socket and Kermit and Fozzie rush to him. Fozzie says Bo was never very bright, just as the janitor is electrocuted and illuminates the room.
	October 16, 1983 (Sunday)
Fozzie tries out a La-Z-Bear chair at the store and gets stuck in its mechanics.
	October 17, 1983
An explosion happens in Miss Piggy's dressing room. She tells an alarmed Kermit to never use hair spray and a blow-dryer at the same time.
	October 18, 1983
The Bluebird of Happiness tells Kermit he's happy to be heading to the warmer winter of Florida. Kermit remarks that he intends to cancel his donation to the National Audubon Society.
	October 19, 1983
Beauregard borrows some of Kermit's books, but he uses them to prop up his TV. Ernie appears on the screen.
	October 20, 1983
Kermit tells Miss Piggy an "up and coming young star" is doing the opening number. He doesn't know who she is because she's coming but hasn't gotten here yet.
	October 21, 1983
Fozzie tells Gonzo it's hard to write his own material, because sometimes he's just not funny. Gonzo asks if he means every night during his monologue.
	October 22, 1983
A fan asks Kermit for Miss Piggy's autograph.
	October 23, 1983 (Sunday)
Piggy takes Robin on a nature walk where she explains how all the colors of fall go together.
	October 24, 1983
Kermit passes a sign, "Break Glass in Case of Flaming Desire," with Miss Piggy behind the glass.
	October 25, 1983
Fozzie's lunch (a talking lobster) doesn't agree with him.
	October 26, 1983
Kermit has an opening for a plumber. It turns out to be literal when the plumber falls down a hole.
	October 27, 1983
Robin shows Kermit that kids never outgrow playing with their food, in this case by juggling.
	October 28, 1983
Miss Piggy asks Beauregard to set a trap for a mouse in her dressing room. He'll need a bigger mousetrap as he's carried off by a giant mouse.
	October 29, 1983
At the theater, Kermit rejects an applicant for a satire writer... who's actually a centaur writer.
	October 30, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit tells Piggy she won't be singing the opening number because he's the boss who makes the decisions. After he takes a stand, she karate chops his desk in half.
	October 31, 1983
Kermit donates old things (Statler and Waldorf) to the Good Deed Army.
	November 1, 1983
Miss Piggy and Kermit go skydiving.
	November 2, 1983
Kermit reads while Miss Piggy is on the phone.
	November 3, 1983
Dr. Bob brags about how well he performed on the golf course. Janice tells him that there's more to life than driving balls. Dr. Bob adds that his putting was great too.
	November 4, 1983
Miss Piggy tries on dresses.
	November 5, 1983
Gonzo has a photographic memory.
	November 6, 1983 (Sunday)
Fozzie is depressed because he doesn't have a part in tonight's show. Scooter rushes in with an emergency and Kermit assigns the task to Fozzie who reads the license plate of a Buick that has had its headlights left on.
	November 7, 1983
Kermit and Miss Piggy will be able to perform for the Queen in England when pigs fly.
	November 8, 1983
Fozzie grew up so poor he couldn't even afford food stamps.
	November 9, 1983
Four out of five doctors recommend the Super Slam golf balls.
	November 10, 1983
Piggy explains that a lot of people don't eat their pizza crust as Kermit stands holding a pizza that has been eaten, but its crust left intact.
	November 11, 1983
Gonzo has a unenergetic canon act.
	November 12, 1983
Miss Piggy wishes to see her name in the stars.
	November 13, 1983 (Sunday)
Gonzo is chiseling a statue of Queen Victoria. He gets carried away and accidentally knocks off her head. With only hours to go before having to have the statue at the gallery, he improvises and labels the headless statue "Marie Antoinette."
	November 14, 1983
Miss Piggy pulls a chair up to the all you can eat buffet.
	November 15, 1983
Fozzie comes back from his lunch break at the zoo with a monkey on his head.
	November 16, 1983
Miss Piggy hires her own private photographer.
	November 17, 1983
Beauregard tries to get out of a promise he made to clean Piggy's dressing room so he can go bowling. Kermit tells him he has to lie in the bed he's made for himself, which Beau takes literally.
	November 18, 1983
Fozzie is stuck in bed and can't come to work because he has a bug (a literal large insect).
	November 19, 1983
Miss Piggy can't decide between coffee and tea, so Kermit gives her teafee.
	November 20, 1983 (Sunday)
After Animal, Floyd and Zoot rock out. Kermit gives Animal a "rock star medallion" like all the big rock stars wear. Animal likes it. Kermit admits to the reader that it's actually a flea tag.
	November 21, 1983
Miss Piggy is carried around on a litter after her new record gets a great review.
	November 22, 1983
Scooter excitedly tells Piggy that the local newspaper wants her to write a weekly column. She tosses him against the wall when she hears they want to call it "Oinklings."
	November 23, 1983
Scooter tells Miss Piggy she can keep the wardrobe from the Lady Godiva skit.
	November 24, 1983
The Muppets celebrate Thanksgiving with Zoot's sax as their cornucopia.
	November 25, 1983
Dr. Bob treats the Muppets' copier — an octopus scribe.
	November 26, 1983
Beauregard informs Kermit the Frog that the attic is flooded!
	November 27, 1983 (Sunday)
Kermit convinces Fozzie to return to the stage after he'd been pelted with tomatoes. The crowd is begging for his presence, just so they can throw some fresh tomatoes at him.
	November 28, 1983
Kermit and Miss Piggy are tied up by a burglar.
	November 29, 1983
Miss Piggy meets Kermit's new secretary — an attractive man.
	November 30, 1983
Fozzie meets a werewolf under the full moon.
	December 1, 1983
Fozzie gets a new straight man.
	December 2, 1983
Fozzie exchanges glances with a cute bear at the exchange counter.
	December 3, 1983
Statler and Waldorf start their heckling without Fozzie.
	December 4, 1983 (Sunday)
Piggy lets Kermt bring Robin on a date with them where they went to see a space cowboy movie, ate popcorn and onion rings, and went roller skating. Piggy asks if she gets a good night kiss, and Kermit lifts Robin to her level.
	December 5, 1983
Fozzie reads the news of a word processor crossed with a food processor.
	December 6, 1983
Robin interferes with Miss Piggy's flirting with Kermit.
	December 7, 1983
Kermit tells Fozzie it's time for a haircut.
	December 8, 1983
Gonzo tightrope walks on the phone cord.
	December 9, 1983
Miss Piggy doesn't expect much out of stardom — just a little fame and the Astrodome.
	December 10, 1983
Beauregard is late because his "alarm clock" (a rooster) has laryngitis.
	December 11, 1983 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy chases Kermit all the way to China.
	December 12, 1983
Fozzie goes to "Just Like Mom's Restaurant" which is just like mom's.
	December 13, 1983
Dr. Bob does medical research by watching "General Hospital."
	December 14, 1983
Miss Piggy explains why she wears her trademark gloves all the time.
	December 15, 1983
Kermit and Fozzie go ice fishing in a boat.
	December 16, 1983
Gonzo asks Fozzie to mail him to Hollywood.
	December 17, 1983
Kermit's work keeps piling up.
	December 18, 1983 (Sunday)
While swamped with work, Kermit says Mother Frog told him there'd be days like this... but not years and years like this. Kermit vents to Fozzie about all the work he does. Fozzie says "why don't you just quit?" Kermit responds "what?! and leave show business??!"
	December 19, 1983
Miss Piggy is not impressed with her Japanese compact.
	December 20, 1983
Fozzie is visited by the Ghost of Library Books Long Overdue.
	December 21, 1983
Miss Piggy enjoys the magnificent view of her new billboard.
	December 22, 1983
Miss Piggy tries being the strong silent type.
	December 23, 1983
Statler tells Waldorf that "three ghosts came into my room and tried to reveal the errors of my money-grubbing life to me."
	December 24, 1983
Robin uses Kermit's sock and whipped cream to impersonate Santa Claus.
	December 25, 1983 (Sunday)
Sam the Eagle is annoyed to be woken from sleep by loud music being played. He's touched when he finds that the Muppets are singing John Lennon's "Give Peace a Chance."
	December 26, 1983
In Piggy's presence, Kermit attempts to solve a crossword puzzle with a three-letter word for slovenly mammal that eats swill and rolls in the mud with G as the last letter. Met with a death glare from Piggy, Kermit writes in "dog."
	December 27, 1983
Zoot and Floyd can't stand Miss Piggy's changing attitudes, calling her "sweet-and-sour pork".
	December 28, 1983
Dr. Bob tries to pick up a girl at the bar, only to discover her boyfriend is the bouncer.
	December 29, 1983
A funny thing happened to Fozzie on the way to the theater.
	December 30, 1983
Kermit demonstrates the alarm system to Scooter and explains that if anyone tries to break in, they have Animal as a backup system.
	December 31, 1983
Statler and Waldorf celebrate New Year's Eve by thinking about the great inventions they've seen in their lifetime.
===1984===
	January 1, 1984 (Sunday)
Statler feels he's been type-cast as Father Time for the New Year's show. Scooter sends the Muppets to the make-up department for the "Everything Old is New Again" theme; they all emerge as baby versions of themselves.
	January 2, 1984
Fozzie asks Kermit and Robin for some weenies despite the Frog Scout manual saying campfires will keep bears away.
	January 3, 1984
Kermit runs past Fozzie, who is shoveling snow, to escape Miss Piggy, with whom he has just broken a date.
	January 4, 1984
A diner waitress tells Fozzie that the special has really been moving today, followed by a sandwich with legs running across the counter.
	January 5, 1984
Miss Piggy and another woman rip a sweater while fighting over it at a department store. Janice says she'll take it; she's really into the Flashdance look.
	January 6, 1984
Beauregard catches a block of ice while ice fishing with Kermit.
	January 7, 1984
Fozzie leaves the stage having flunked his mic check.
	January 8, 1984 (Sunday)
Scooter claps the film slate on a swashbuckling movie starring Kermit. After he sword-fights pigs and escapes arrows in an alligator-infested castle moat, Fozzie asks if he does all his own stunts. Kermit points out he has a double for love scenes, pointing to a drunken frog standing near a pouting Miss Piggy as a damsel.
	January 9, 1984
A "Dear Miss Piggy" letter claims to be from her biggest fan, as evidenced by the size of their envelope.
	January 10, 1984
Statler and Waldorf would like to hear something funny during Fozzie's act, but note that this isn't the place for it.
	January 11, 1984
The "Dynamite Duo of Dick and Dina" introduce themselves as an exploding act. Kermit says this must be their first audition.
	January 12, 1984
Fozzie sends a letter via air mail at the post office. Pops ties it to a helium balloon for fifteen cents.
	January 13, 1984
Fozzie beams with pride over the success he's had with building a ship in a bottle until the ship begins to sink.
	January 14, 1984
At the airport, Kermit wonders what could be holding up Miss Piggy's plane. Beauregard suggests it's the wings.
	January 15, 1984 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy lays in bed reading a trashy romance novel.
	January 16, 1984
Miss Piggy offers Kermit a tour of her new apartment. Additional patrons are waiting in line to pay for the attraction.
	January 17, 1984
Miss Piggy complains to the clerk at Yates' Great Cleaners, asking who ever heard of starching a feather boa.
	January 18, 1984
Fozzie brags that he'll have the audience rolling in the aisles tonight because he laced all the theatre seats with itching powder.
	January 19, 1984
Dr. Bob asks Kermit about his fitness routine. Kermit is exercising his options.
	January 20, 1984
Gonzo announces his psychic routine in which he will read people's minds. Kermit says no, but Gonzo claims to have known he would say that.
	January 21, 1984
Beauregard looks over a maple tree nursery, proud of having invested in maple syrup futures.
	January 22, 1984 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy pursues Kermit in a high speed chase that knocks over Floyd Pepper and Zoot.
	January 23, 1984
Miss Piggy laments the holes in her sweater as a giant moth eats away at a sweater still being worn by Kermit.
	January 24, 1984
Dr. Bob says that eating at The Swedish Chef's cafeteria makes him appreciate hospital food.
	January 25, 1984
Kermit asks Miss Piggy to attend an energy conservation seminar with him, but Piggy — who is surrounded by a working hot tub, entertainment system, hair dryer, and other electronic devices — says she wouldn't fit in.
	January 26, 1984
Kermit asks Scooter to run the Olympics sketch by him, which he does literally.
	January 27, 1984
Kermit gives Beauregard his car keys and asks him to go downtown to pick up Miss Piggy. Beau returns with Miss Piggy over his head, having left Kermit's car downtown.
	January 28, 1984
Dr. Bob reads in a health magazine that baseball player Carl Yastrzemski is doing a fitness show for the over-forty crowd called Yazzercise.
	January 29, 1984 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy spends several panels in the Swedish Chef's cafeteria detailing how someday Kermit will profess his love to her. When he joins her at the table, he informs her that she has some spinach in her teeth.
	January 30, 1984
Statler and Waldorf fall asleep on a park bench and get covered in snow.
	January 31, 1984
Kermit and Fozzie observe some ancient fishing gear assumed to have once belonged to Noah. Fozzie muses that it's the "Waders of the Lost Ark."
	February 1, 1984
Miss Piggy asks Kermit what he thought of the introduction she wrote for herself. Looking at the gigantic stack of paper, Kermit says "it needs editing."
	February 2, 1984
Kermit says they need something new and different for the show. Fozzie suggests a dragon juggling bananas. Kermit tells him to be serious as a large dragon in a top hat juggling bananas rounds the corner.
	February 3, 1984
Miss Piggy promised herself she would only eat small pieces of cake, so she cuts a large piece of cake into two small pieces.
	February 4, 1984
Miss Piggy encounters famous French hot-tub explorer "Jacques Cuzzi."
	February 5, 1984 (Sunday)
Weight Watchers calls Miss Piggy to let her know they're watching.
	February 6, 1984
While stuck behind a line of birds being served by the Swedish Chef in the cafeteria, Kermit tells Miss Piggy to get seed for the birdfeeder.
	February 7, 1984
While cross-country skiing, Gonzo sees a sign saying "quiet avalanche area." He tiptoes past on the tips of his skis.
	February 8, 1984
Fozzie discounts the front-row seats in exchange for the audience members holding cue cards for his routine with Kermit.
	February 9, 1984
A bird skis past Kermit and Fozzie. Fozzie says it's Jean-Claude Kiwi.
	February 10, 1984
A man shows Kermit his act of "The Fabulous Flying Orandas," the world's first goldfish high-wire act.
	February 11, 1984
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear discover Beauregard washed himself wearing his new suit in the washing machine.
	February 12, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit thinks Miss Piggy is flapping her arms to communicate that she has an upcoming flight. Turns out she is just trying to dry her nails.
	February 13, 1984
Fozzie tells Gonzo that he's going to do some housecleaning. Gonzo suggests starting with the cobwebs as a large spider carries Fozzie away.
	February 14, 1984
Miss Piggy thanks her lucky stars for her good fortune. The stars in the sky spell out "you're welcome."
	February 15, 1984
Dr. Bob tells Nurse Janice to call Kermit and tell him it's time for a check-up. Janice questions why they're doing a check-up so soon, Dr. Bob says because his car loan is due.
	February 16, 1984
Kermit puts on classical music, not to relax but because it gets the band to practice elsewhere. As he puts on a Chopin record, Floyd and Zoot run away in disgust. Other albums in Kermit's collection include Bach and Liszt.
	February 17, 1984
Zoot and Floyd walk into Animal's room. The place is full of an assortment of bones, trash and drawings on the walls. Floyd says "in a coupl'a hundred years, this place is really gonna screw up some archaeologist."
	February 18, 1984
Fozzie throws a paper airplane. A fly jumps on for a ride.
	February 19, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit goes to a party for the arts council. They have named their new scholarship for aspiring actresses in his honor—"The Kermit the Frog Memorial Award." Kermit shows Scooter the award (a small statue of Kermit) and Scooter asks why it's called the "memorial award" if Kermit's not dead. While surrounded by young attractive actresses, Kermit says "I would be if Miss Piggy saw me now."
	February 20, 1984
Fozzie tells Kermit that he fell through the ice while ice skating at an indoor rink.
	February 21, 1984
While practicing her golf game, Miss Piggy calls her "driver" a "chauffeur."
	February 22, 1984
Sam the Eagle tells Zoot that he thinks his music is disgusting. Zoot blows a raspberry at Sam through his saxophone.
	February 23, 1984
While watching TV, Statler tells Waldorf that three things in life are inevitable—death, taxes and M*A*S*H reruns.
	February 24, 1984
Miss Piggy does a figure-8 while ice skating. Kermit shows off by doing a calligraphic-"Eight."
	February 25, 1984
Zoot, Janice, Dr. Teeth and Gaffer are all asleep in front of the TV. Floyd asks what they ever did before they got cable.
	February 26, 1984 (Sunday)
Dr. Bob won't let the snow get between him and his appointments. He hires Beauregard to shovel a path so he can still play golf.
	February 27, 1984
At Dungeons & Donuts coffee shop, Fozzie is almost out of coffee. A dragon waitress comes by with a pot of coffee and offers to warm his cup up for him. She then blows fire at Fozzie.
	February 28, 1984
Two tourists ask Miss Piggy if she could take a picture for them and hand her their camera. As they pose for a photo, she takes a selfie of herself for them.
	February 29, 1984
While examining Fozzie's ears, Dr. Bob can see the eye chart through Fozzie's head.
	March 1, 1984
Gonzo uses his "Acme Magic Book" to try a new disappearing spell. He does it in front of a mirror and accidentally makes himself turn invisible.
	March 2, 1984
Dressed as a magician, Gonzo tries to convince Kermit to let him do his levitation act on the show. After a demonstration that leaves Kermit floating, he is still sort of "up in the air" about it.
	March 3, 1984
Gonzo uses his "Acme Magic Book" to water the plants.
	March 4, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit goes to the florist to get flowers to apologize to Miss Piggy for breaking their date. She places them in her dressing room full of other floral arrangements saying "she's getting used to it."
	March 5, 1984
Kermit tells Miss Piggy that the Swedish Chef has been living a "country club lifestyle" lately and she'll have to wait until he's out of his hot tub. Meanwhile the chef is sitting in a pot on the stove with a martini glass.
	March 6, 1984
Fozzie scoffs at a man with a booth selling rope for $300 a ward. As he walks a few feet past the rope stand, Fozzie sinks in quicksand.
	March 7, 1984
At the post office (with Pops behind the counter), Fozzie wants to send a package to his mom. The cost is only ten cents, because they call her and ask her to pick it up. A sign on the counter reads "Letters! We Get Letters!" (a jingle sung by Perry Como on his 1950s TV show, during request segments).
	March 8, 1984
When Fozzie is out sick, Statler and Waldorf heckle each other.
	March 9, 1984
Statler shows Waldorf his new "not-so-welcome" mat.
	March 10, 1984
Kermit orders eight drinks from an Octopus waiter. When Fozzie tries to add a ninth drink, the waiter says "I only have eight hands!"
	March 11, 1984 (Sunday)
Fozzie is offended that a sign at the restaurant says "no bear feet." Kermit says it's just a misspelling and goes to talk to the manager. Zoot makes a cameo driving by in a car.
	March 12, 1984
Kermit's attempt to build Robin's new outdoor playset results in a mess.
	March 13, 1984
Beauregard uses Gonzo's nose as a plow for his garden.
	March 14, 1984
Dr. Bob can't figure out when Scooter has pain in his shoulder and ringing in his ears. Scooter leaves carrying a boombox stereo on his shoulder and blasting music in his ears.
	March 15, 1984
When Dr. Bob's pager interrupts his "shortest putt of the day," he puts the pager on the tee and prepares for "the longest drive of the day."
	March 16, 1984
On the golf course, Kermit comments that Dr. Bob always manages to avoid the sand traps. Dr. Bob says "you've never had sand fleas."
	March 17, 1984
Dr. Bob tells Nurse Janice about the latest movie he saw—"I was a Teenage Teenager."
	March 18, 1984 (Sunday)
Fozzie tries to read "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens.
	March 19, 1984
Miss Piggy shares "advice from the heart" writing "love is the greatest gift a person can receive, but a Ferrari is a very close second."
	March 20, 1984
Miss Piggy shares more "advice from the heart" recounting a story of a lawyer who said "a man who is his own attorney has a fool for a client."
	March 21, 1984
In "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart," Miss Piggy shares a quote from her Great-Grandma Piggy about never being "penny-wise and pound-foolish."
	March 22, 1984
Miss Piggy shares "advice from the heart" writing: "It isn't what you have that counts. It's what you have that's better than what everyone else has that counts."
	March 23, 1984
Miss Piggy shares more "advice from the heart" sharing that if you don't have health, hire a good makeup man.
	March 24, 1984
Miss Piggy gets writers' block while working on her advice column.
	March 25, 1984 (Sunday)
As spring arrives, Kermit uses his banjo to sing a song about the forest waking up from "a long winter nap." The forest animals yell at him to "go away" because they're trying to sleep.
	March 26, 1984
Kermit is distressed over the state of a script saying, "Maybe I should just ribbit up." When Scooter catches his gaffe, Kermit admits that it was just a "Froggian slip."
	March 27, 1984
Two hikers come across Fozzie sleeping in the woods. They remark about the natural beauty of "a bear relaxing in his natural habitat, totally untouched by man and technology... except for that stupid hat."
	March 28, 1984
Dr. Bob begs Miss Piggy for her tackiest shirt so he can go golfing.
	March 29, 1984
Beauregard asks Miss Piggy what the plural of octopus is so he can describe what's behind her.
	March 30, 1984
With a head full of shampoo, Miss Piggy calls the water company to complain that they turned the water off in the middle of her shower. She demands they turn it back on and water squirts out of the phone receiver.
	March 31, 1984
Beauregard encounters an alien in a flying saucer who asks to take a photo for him.
	April 1, 1984 (Sunday)
Scooter rushes to get Kermit when Miss Piggy's new electrified costume short-circuited on stage electrocuting her. Kermit's not concerned because the audience thinks it's a "flash-dance."
	April 2, 1984
Kermit asks Miss Piggy if he's been ignoring her.
	April 3, 1984
Robin asks where he came from. Miss Piggy says that a stork brought him. Kermit rebuffs Piggy, saying "Robin is a big frog now. You don't expect him to believe that, do you?" Kermit then turns to his nephew and says "a trout brought you."
	April 4, 1984
Kermit tells Miss Piggy that Robin is in his room playing with his new ant farm. Kermit hopes it teaches him about society and the roles of workers, builders and farmers. Robin is dressed as a king with a crown and scepter presiding over his "humble peasants."
	April 5, 1984
Miss Piggy asks Gonzo if he's doing "the same hokey magic act again." Gonzo says he still has a few tricks up his sleeve (as a rabbit, dove, deck of cards and handkerchief fall out of his sleeve).
	April 6, 1984
Fozzie tells Gonzo it's April 6, 1984 and asks "isn't it about time you took down your Christmas tree?"
	April 7, 1984
A waiter tries to serve Kermit an undercooked fly pie.
	April 8, 1984 (Sunday)
Robin asks Miss Piggy why there are all those little lights around her mirror. After she gives a long-winded explanation that appeases Robin, Piggy goes and asks Beauregard why the bulbs are there.
	April 9, 1984
Kermit exclaims "great balls of fire" as giant balls of fire descend on him and Miss Piggy.
	April 10, 1984
Dialogue from the TV consists of "Baba! Mama!" in repeated phrases. Miss Piggy explains that she's watching Barbara Walters interviewing her mother.
	April 11, 1984
Fozzie points out to a waitress that he ordered mashed potatoes, not baked. She smashes the potato with her fist.
	April 12, 1984
Robin tells the mailman that everyone's so health conscious these days. As the mailbox spits out the letters, he concludes that even the mailbox "won't eat junk mail anymore."
	April 13, 1984
Scooter comes up with a way to sell twice as many tickets. Fozzie is in the box office next to a "tickets: 2 for 1 sale" sign. He says he can't put his finger on it but "there's something wrong with our marketing strategy."
	April 14, 1984
Fozzie asks a waiter "what is this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter looks and responds "impersonating an egg noodle, sir."
	April 15, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit tries to get Miss Piggy to cut back on drinking coffee. Piggy tells him to "get me a ★@*!%★@#% cup of coffee?!!"
	April 16, 1984
In a "Pigs in Space" strip, the Swinetrek is introduced as "the Cadillac of spaceships" with a dedicated crew of cosmic pioneers. They are the key to the future and "our hope for tomorrow."
	April 17, 1984
In the continuing "Pigs in Space" story, Dr. Julius Strangepork informs Captain Link Hogthrob and First Mate Piggy that they are "adrift in an endless void of mass and matter."
	April 18, 1984
Aboard the Swinetrek, Dr. Julius Strangepork dramatically tells Captain Link Hogthrob that they can't turn the ship left. First Mate Piggy says he has a severe case of "over-acting."
	April 19, 1984
Dr. Julius Strangepork shows First Mate Piggy how to make the perfect popcorn aboard the Swinetrek.
	April 20, 1984
Captain Link Hogthrob accidentally jettisons the billion-dollar satellite thinking it was the garbage tank. When Dr. Julius Strangepork points this out, Link tries again—this time jettisoning the fuel supply.
	April 21, 1984
Dr. Julius Strangepork and First Mate Piggy engaged by "Clingons" (socks that got staticky in the wash and cling to Miss Piggy's spacesuit).
	April 22, 1984 (Sunday)
Statler and Waldorf decide that it's time to rake up the acorns in the backyard that have been there for a long time. They go out back to find it's too late—the yard's full of oak trees.
	April 23, 1984
The tide comes in and ruins Kermit and Miss Piggy's picnic on the beach.
	April 24, 1984
Miss Piggy tells Beauregard to "be a dear and tell Kermit I want to see him." So Bo goes and dresses up like a deer to deliver the message to Kermit.
	April 25, 1984
Miss Piggy tells Kermit she's doing a little remodeling of her dressing room. Kermit is shocked when a crane and wrecking ball show up at the theater.
	April 26, 1984
Kermit says all Miss Piggy ever thinks about is herself. Piggy says that's not true, she thinks of other things—like her hair, her clothes, her manicure...
	April 27, 1984
Gonzo references George Orwell's 1984 with an appearance by his big brother.
	April 28, 1984
Statler says not a day goes by that he doesn't wish he was at the Muppet Theater. Waldorf says they only do the show at night. Statler says that's why he wishes he was there during the day.
	April 29, 1984 (Sunday)
Robin and Porky decide to go to the cowboy movie at the new theater in town. They climb out the second-story window, down a drainpipe, across the clothesline, and over a fence. Porky then hesitates saying his mom won't let him cross the street.
	April 30, 1984
Miss Piggy asks Kermit about a date while they do a trapeze act. Statler and Waldorf can be seen in their regular house right box, while a pair resembling Bert and Ernie appear in the house left box.
	May 1, 1984
Miss Piggy tries to get Robin to try pâté.
	May 2, 1984
Kermit tells Fozzie that life is like a hockey game—you have to be aggressive, everyone is waiting for the chance to slap that puck. Fozzie says he feels like he's the goalie.
	May 3, 1984
Fozzie is sad and sitting at the bar with Kermit. An angry monster tells him to "cut out the depression stuff" because it's "happy hour!"
	May 4, 1984
While performing "Romeo and Juliet" with Kermit, Miss Piggy throws a temper tantrum.
	May 5, 1984
Gonzo and Fozzie order salads at a restaurant. The waitress brings Fozzie's salad with the "house" dressing (a salad with a small house on top).
	May 6, 1984 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy is trying on shoes at Chic Shoes. When the salesman asks her which ones she would like, Piggy says "all of them."
	May 7, 1984
While buying their tickets, Statler and Waldorf are unsure if they're ready to heckle the Muppets. Waldorf is unmotivated, still in his pajamas and holding a cup of coffee.
	May 8, 1984
Kermit solves the crossword puzzle clue for "a nine-letter word for stubborn" with pig-headed. Miss Piggy slams him through his desk.
	May 9, 1984
Dr. Bob gives Mr. Green a new form of physical therapy—playing golf.
	May 10, 1984
In a restaurant full of slender couples eating salads, Miss Piggy asks what their specialty is. The waiter says "the diet plate."
	May 11, 1984
Fozzie Bear is insulted by his new contract offer. Kermit gives a counteroffer of $1.25 a night and Beauregard will clean up the tomatoes. Fozzie accepts.
	May 12, 1984
Kermit says half of Fozzie's jokes are good. Fozzie asks which half. Kermit responds "the funny half."
	May 13, 1984 (Sunday)
Animal, Floyd and Zoot rock out. Kermit says they need a new set. Floyd asks "a new set of songs?" Kermit clarifies "no, a new set of drums" as they observe Animal's destroyed drumset.
	May 14, 1984
Kermit is befuddled by all the wires, fuses and circuit panels under the hood of Miss Piggy's car. Piggy says she needs a good mechanic; he says "or a good electrician."
	May 15, 1984
Fozzie sees that only half of a lightbulb is lit. Kermit says it means they only paid half the light bill.
	May 16, 1984
After getting orchids from Tommy Selleck and roses from President Reagan, Miss Piggy is sent kelp from Jacques Cousteau.
	May 17, 1984
Kermit's horoscope says he'll get a reminder of his festive past. He sits down to find an old Easter egg under his seat cushion.
	May 18, 1984
Kermit asks Fozzie what made him decide to become a comedian. Fozzie says a lot of folks have been asking him that lately, which he concludes is "not a good sign."
	May 19, 1984
Gonzo tells Fozzie if his career in show business doesn't work out, he can always sell insurance.
	May 20, 1984 (Sunday)
After building a sandcastle on the beach and being inspected by a fish tax assessor, Fozzie finds a lamp washed up on the shore. He rubs it and a genie pops out. He wishes to be "the greatest comedian in the world." Unfortunately the genie doesn't understand as he doesn't speak English.
	May 21, 1984
Kermit takes Animal for a walk—being carried down the sidewalk in Animal's mouth.
	May 22, 1984
Fozzie calls his mom to loan him a few bucks. He tells Kermit it's great because she only charges him 19¼% interest.
	May 23, 1984
Before Kermit tells Miss Piggy that he's not going to marry her (and while being strangled by an upset Piggy), Dr. Bob asks if he wants a private or semiprivate room.
	May 24, 1984
The top-half of a man (walking on his hands) and the bottom legs of a man walk off stage. A second bifurcated man walks by. Gonzo, dressed as a magician and about to saw Beaker in half, says if he doesn't get it right this time, he'll quit.
	May 25, 1984
Miss Piggy perks up as she walks by a sign for "Papa's Pie Shop." She gets more excited when she sees a sign for "Miltie's Malt Shoppe." But after seeing a sign for "Le Largo Boutique Fatso Fashions," she stops for a carrot at "Fred's Fruit Stand".
	May 26, 1984
Kermit skips across the puddles on the sidewalk. Fozzie says he loves puddle jumping and tries too. He sinks in a deep puddle.
	May 27, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit rebuffs the gossipy tabloids at the newsstand with such trashy headlines as "Are Tom Selleck and Linda Evans Secretly Married?," "Do Mutant Eggplants from Outer Space Control Cable TV?," and "Will Ronald Reagan Join the Jackson Five?" But he suddenly takes interest when he sees the headline "Does Piggy Have A Curly Tail?"
	May 28, 1984
Miss Piggy is excited her name is in "Who's Who." Gonzo is excited his name is in "What's That?"
	May 29, 1984
Fozzie tells Kermit that he's concerned Gonzo is eating like a bird. Gonzo is eating out of the birdfeeder hanging in a nearby tree.
	May 30, 1984
An IRS auditor tells Dr. Bob that despite them being in his office, he cannot deduct golf clubs as office equipment.
	May 31, 1984
Nurse Janice tells Kermit that Dr. Bob is doing a lot of good with his one-day free clinic by giving people free advice. His advice is to "come back tomorrow."
	June 1, 1984
Floyd tells Beauregard that janitor work is one job you can keep.
	June 2, 1984
Dr. Teeth tells Floyd and Zoot that the xylophone is the only instrument that he's played but can't spell.
	June 3, 1984 (Sunday)
Fozzie eats a bowl of cereal that goes "fizzle," "crack," "zap," and "BOOM!"
	June 4, 1984
Dr. Bob asks Nurse Janice if his tongue depressors have come in yet. He needs them to finish building a castle.
	June 5, 1984
Miss Piggy can't find Kermit. She looks for a pen to leave a note. She finds Kermit hiding in the pen drawer.
	June 6, 1984
Numerous waiters bring Miss Piggy breakfast in bed. One remarks that she's going to need a bigger bed.
	June 7, 1984
While eating ice cream, Kermit asks Fozzie if it's true most comedians had a tough childhood. Fozzie says he was so poor he had to sleep with a mirror because they couldn't afford a teddy bear.
	June 8, 1984
Fozzie is drowning. He calls out to a ship of rats to throw him a life preserver. The rats aboard the "S. S. Rat" toss him a tiny ring buoy.
	June 9, 1984
Beauregard is proud that he didn't paint himself into a corner. He painted himself into the middle of the room.
	June 10, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit tells Miss Piggy not to lob the ball while bowling.
	June 11, 1984
Fozzie says today is going to be his lucky day. Just around the corner is a banana peel, a black cat walking under a ladder, two men carrying a large plate-glass mirror and a fire hydrant about to burst.
	June 12, 1984
Sam the Eagle questions the new act of "Boy Gonzo and Culture Clucks."
	June 13, 1984
A small UFO asks Kermit for directions to England.
	June 14, 1984
Gonzo struggles to go surfing in his bathtub due to his apartment's low water pressure.
	June 15, 1984
Miss Piggy is tired of sitting around by the phone on a Friday night waiting for Kermit to call and ask her out. So she sits at Kermit's desk and waits for him to ask.
	June 16, 1984
Floyd shows Zoot how he uses his bass and amp to go fishing.
	June 17, 1984 (Sunday)
Fozzie is going to write the best monologue ever. He just needs a few things. He asks Kermit for a pencil, an eraser, some paper, a pencil sharpener, and some good jokes.
	June 18, 1984
Rowlf and Kermit are running for the Olympic Games. Rowlf's old girlfriend is carrying a torch for him (literally).
	June 19, 1984
Miss Piggy's hairdresser claims Elsa Lanchester as one of his clients and gives Piggy a hairdo styled after Lanchester's most famous role: the Bride of Frankenstein.
	June 20, 1984
Floyd tells Kermit they don't want to do a reggae number again as "it took Janice eight hours to do Animal's hair" in dreadlocks.
	June 21, 1984
Kermit tells Miss Piggy to slow down her driving as their car flies through the air.
	June 22, 1984
Dr. Bob asks Fozzie if he's feeling light headed as Fozzie's head floats off his body.
	June 23, 1984
Sam the Eagle finds Fozzie Bear's monologue disgusting. Beauregard finds Fozzie's monologue hilarious. Fozzie tells Rizzo that he is glad humor is subjective.
	June 24, 1984 (Sunday)
While on a picnic, Miss Piggy expresses her love for Kermit with passion and sincerity, and then she tells him to kiss her or she'll rip his lips off.
	June 25, 1984
Miss Piggy tells Beauregard to pull the blinds. Bo pulls them off the wall.
	June 26, 1984
Miss Piggy is amazed by the new TV remote control. She uses it to make the salesman disappear.
	June 27, 1984
Robin has replaced Porky with a new best friend named Ralph, because Ralph has a friend who has a friend who has a cousin who actually almost touched Michael Jackson's car.
	June 28, 1984
Kermit can't find his new clothesline. Beauregard mounted it on the roof as a TV antenna.
	June 29, 1984
Fozzie asks what to say if he forgets his lines. Kermit says "just ad-lib." When Fozzie forgets his line on stage he says "just ad-lib."
	June 30, 1984
A deliveryman gives Kermit a long, skinny package. It's a super long pencil for his long day of writing.
	July 1, 1984 (Sunday)
While out fishing, Kermit shows Fozzie how to tie the bait on his hook.
	July 2, 1984
Kermit is locked in the closet. Kermit asks Miss Piggy to try to pry the lock with something and slips her his credit card under the door. She leaves with the card to go shopping.
	July 3, 1984
Scooter tells Miss Piggy that there's 48-hours till showtime.
	July 4, 1984
Kermit and Dr. Bob rush out of the office to an emergency game of golf with Dr. Bob's golf clubs on a stretcher.
	July 5, 1984
Fozzie lost his rubber chicken. The Swedish Chef brings out a chicken that bounces across the floor.
	July 6, 1984
Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzie perform a Pirates of Penzance number. Kermit warns they'd better do a good job or their critics—Statler and Waldorf aiming cannons from their box seats—will blow them right off the stage.
	July 7, 1984
Dr. Bob's mechanic drives a Jaguar.
	July 8, 1984 (Sunday)
Fozzie is arrested for beating up a news box. The headline on the paper says "Bear Attacks News Box."
	July 9, 1984
Miss Piggy tells Janice the difference between a "housecoat" and a "genuine 'Swinellini' Designer Lounging Robe"—it's about $300.
	July 10, 1984
While reading "Little Known Facts About Broadway," Waldorf discovers that Threepenny Opera was originally written by Brecht and Blitzstein as the "One Penny Opera"... then Kurt Weill came along and threw his two cents in.
	July 11, 1984
Kermit has trouble finding the words to describe how he feels about Miss Piggy's latest investment—an original "Pigcasso."
	July 12, 1984
Two elderly burglars enter the Muppet Theater. Clyde remarks that in his 60 years of crime, he's never burglarized a theater. The other thief says that "it's never too late to break into show business." In a bit of subtle cross-promotion, a poster for The Muppets Take Manhattan appears outside the theater.
	July 13, 1984
Miss Piggy spoofs American Express's "Do You Know Me?" ads as a carrier of the Swiner's Club card.
	July 14, 1984
Kermit tells Fozzie that Beauregard is into body building. Fozzie finds Bo assembling mannequins.
	July 15, 1984 (Sunday)
Bo goes around with his camera telling people to smile. He doesn't have any film, he just wants to brighten their day.
	July 16, 1984
Gonzo returns from playing hockey on the park pond. Kermit says it's the middle of summer. A wet Gonzo says it wasn't a high scoring game.
	July 17, 1984
Fozzie tosses his Rubik's Cube to the monkeys at the zoo in order to solve the puzzle.
	July 18, 1984
Scooter tells Kermit the building inspectors report Statler and Waldorf's balcony is sagging. Scooter fixes the problem and provides support by giving the pair balloons to lift the load.
	July 19, 1984
Kermit tells Miss Piggy that the "Bayou Country" number really has him swamped.
	July 20, 1984
Gonzo and Fozzie Bear do a William Tell act. Gonzo figures he can hit the apple atop a blindfolded Fozzie's head if he shoots five arrows at once.
	July 21, 1984
Fozzie finds a happy Medium.
	July 22, 1984 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy dreams of over-eating and wakes up when her bed breaks.
	July 23, 1984
A swashbuckling Gonzo dubs himself "Robin Gonzo" and says he will take from the rich and give to the poor. Kermit puts him in the box office selling tickets.
	July 24, 1984
Robin Gonzo shows off his sword skills to Kermit and shreds his paycheck.
	July 25, 1984
Robin Gonzo asks Miss Piggy out to lunch.
	July 26, 1984
Robin Gonzo asks Kermit for lunch money for a giant monster he calls "Little John."
	July 27, 1984
Miss Piggy chases Robin Gonzo after he shoots her with an arrow.
	July 28, 1984
A man asks Fozzie if he's looking for individuality and wants to be set apart from the crowd. He hands Fozzie an application and tells him to get into a crowded line, which includes Ernie and Bert (drawn from the back).
	July 29, 1984 (Sunday)
A bill collector tells Kermit he owes money. Kermit introduces him to a large monster he calls his accountant.
	July 30, 1984
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, Miss Piggy gives advice on how to manage money.
	July 31, 1984
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, Miss Piggy gives advice for wedding season.
	August 1, 1984
Miss Piggy shares the story of the silverware at a Gala Party in "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column.
	August 2, 1984
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, Miss Piggy gives the steps to ordering wine with dinner.
	August 3, 1984
Miss Piggy comments on the saying "a fool and his money are soon parted" in "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column.
	August 4, 1984
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, Miss Piggy shares her thoughts on when a salad should be served.
	August 5, 1984 (Sunday)
When Kermit has trouble sleeping, he sneaks downstairs to get a snack, careful not to wake up his nephew Robin. Figuring he might be able to catch some late night TV, he enters the living room to find Robin watching Spock in an episode of Star Trek.
	August 6, 1984
Fozzie gets applause for his act. Scooter tells Kermit that this is because the microphone must be broken again.
	August 7, 1984
The lighting man is out sick so Statler and Waldorf help by shining flashlights on the stage.
	August 8, 1984
Fozzie tells Dr. Bob he doesn't have medical insurance.
	August 9, 1984
Statler and Waldorf ignore a sign that says "Caution: Balcony Under Repair." Their box breaks off and falls while Statler says "why should a little thing like this keep me from heckling that dumb bear?!"
	August 10, 1984
Fozzie can't afford a house but he can afford building blocks.
	August 11, 1984
Uncle Rizzo's Rhymes writes a parody of "Humpty Dumpty."
	August 12, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit tries out different fonts to figure out the proper way to say "you've been putting on a little weight lately" to Miss Piggy.
	August 13, 1984
Kermit tells Miss Piggy he has forty unfinished projects he has to do before he can go out to lunch. Piggy gets in the queue of things to do by sitting in his inbox.
	August 14, 1984
Fozzie installs wall-to-wall carpeting over the furniture.
	August 15, 1984
Dr. Bob informs a woman that her husband doesn't have a skeleton.
	August 16, 1984
Fozzie mistakes Gonzo's nose for a shark fin.
	August 17, 1984
Kermit laments taking his work home with him while he tries to relax at home surrounded by Gonzo's highwire act, Fozzie's juggling, Foo-Foo on a unicycle, Beauregard sweeping, and Miss Piggy trying to negotiate her contract.
	August 18, 1984
Kermit tries dialog for the Muppets' new "laugh track."
	August 19, 1984 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy shows Kermit how she pays her credit cards with a unique "revolving credit plan."
	August 20, 1984
The beginning of a story arc where Miss Piggy runs for Vice President, which will continue until November. Piggy asks Presidential candidate Fritz when they're going to announce their campaign. She finds out he already chose a running mate and announced it the previous month.
	August 21, 1984
Miss Piggy tells Kermit that Fritz Mundull asked her to consider being the VP on his Presidential ticket, but picked someone else. Kermit says she's kept her composure, but her room is shown wrecked, with a broken TV, phone, window, and other property damage.
	August 22, 1984
In her dressing room, Miss Piggy yells at Fritz over the phone. She was his first choice and they had lunch, which to her is a major commitment.
	August 23, 1984
Miss Piggy continues to yell at Fritz. She hopes he and his VP choice get burned at the polls and hurls other invectives. After hanging up the phone, she realizes politics can be fun.
	August 24, 1984
Rejected by Fritz, Miss Piggy decides to run for Vice President all by herself.
	August 25, 1984
Miss Piggy takes over Kermit's desk in her run for Vice President.
	August 26, 1984 (Sunday)
Animal is graduating from obedience school. Miss Piggy asks Kermit to come to the ceremony with her. When Kermit says he has a lot of work to finish, Piggy orders Animal to "eat him".
	August 27, 1984
Miss Piggy opens a kissing both to raise funds for her Vice Presidential run and gives Kermit some free (tax-deductible) kisses.
	August 28, 1984
Miss Piggy can't run for Vice President without a running mate - so she tells the election committee she's running with Kermit. Statler and Waldorf, watching them in the park, aren't surprised, as he's been running for years. In the background, a plane flies with the campaign banner "Moi for Vous and Kermie, Too!"
	August 29, 1984
Scooter applies to be Miss Piggy's speech writer for her VP run.
	August 30, 1984
With Scooter by her side, Vice Presidential candidate Miss Piggy speaks to the chicken special-interest group (which includes Gonzo). She promises to close every Southern Colonel's secret recipe restaurant.
	August 31, 1984
J. P. Grosse comes to the Muppet Theater to collect the rent. He wants to cut out the song and dance (while Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Fozzie do a routine).
	September 1, 1984
Fozzie goes to see Dr. Bob.
	September 2, 1984 (Sunday)
Piggy puts a pair of shoes through a series of tests including using the heel as a hammer and as a champagne receptacle. She tells the store clerk that she'll take them; he comments that most people only care if they fit.
	September 3, 1984
Fozzie and Kermit are fishing on their boat, HMS Andy Brendan. Kermit comments that the early bird gets the worm, but Fozzie, who has caught a bird on his line, wants to know when they learned how to swim.
	September 4, 1984
Scooter helps Miss Piggy rehearse answering questions for her Vice Presidential run.
	September 5, 1984
Fozzie and Beauregard "go Dutch."
	September 6, 1984
Miss Piggy gives a campaign speech for Vice President, but she breaks the stool she was using to reach the podium. Audience members include Kermit, Fozzie, Statler and Waldorf, Camilla, the Swedish Chef, and Bert (depicted with a bald fringe).
	September 7, 1984
Miss Piggy visits Dr. Bob.
	September 8, 1984
Fozzie and Gonzo offer Kermit some coffee.
	September 9, 1984 (Sunday)
Piggy rehearses a Shirley Temple number, but Kermit says it's not working; she's too old for the part. A crew of makeup artists work on her for a moment and leave Baby Piggy standing on the stage.
	September 10, 1984
Scooter offers a slogan for Miss Piggy's VP campaign.
	September 11, 1984
Miss Piggy suggests renaming The White House to "The Pink Palace" after she wins.
	September 12, 1984
Statler and Waldorf heckle the garbage men.
	September 13, 1984
Gonzo's dirty clothes walk to the laundry, signaling it's time to do wash.
	September 14, 1984
Kermit sings a love song.
	September 15, 1984
Fozzie has been saving his money for a rainy day (to buy an umbrella).
	September 16, 1984 (Sunday)
Piggy plays Rapunzel who has braided her hair into a rope ladder for the Prince (Kermit) to climb.
	September 17, 1984
Kermit interviews a tree for "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" adaptation.
	September 18, 1984
The garbage disposal monster is upset.
	September 19, 1984
Statler reads a grim version of Mother Goose's "Mary Had a Little Lamb" to Robin.
	September 20, 1984
Miss Piggy gets the youth vote for VP by taking Robin to the zoo, carnival and aquarium.
	September 21, 1984
Fozzie goes on a diet.
	September 22, 1984
Beauregard answers the phone.
	September 23, 1984 (Sunday)
Piggy tries out some tactics she learns in a book she borrowed from Janice called "Subliminal Conditioning." She parades around in a wedding dress for Kermit tossing flowers and rice and presenting a poster for Niagara Falls.
	September 24, 1984
Fozzie attempts to write the funniest joke ever.
	September 25, 1984
Statler can't sleep so he asks Fozzie for his latest monologue.
	September 26, 1984
Kermit auditions for "The Three Faces of Eve".
	September 27, 1984
Fozzie mistakes Kermit's cold hors d'oeuvres as a "fly in the ice cube" gag.
	September 28, 1984
Fozzie and Gonzo can hear the ocean in a conch shell.
	September 29, 1984
Kermit auditions an actor for The Grapes of Wrath.
	September 30, 1984 (Sunday)
Beauregard spends nine panels struggling to get the lawn mower out of his basement, gassed up, and started, until it's revealed in the last panel that he has a very small lawn to mow.
	October 1, 1984
Fozzie holds the cue-cards for Miss Piggy's VP campaign.
	October 2, 1984
Fozzie has a dandelion root worthy of The Guinness Book of World Records.
	October 3, 1984
Miss Piggy is interviewed about her Vice Presidential run.
	October 4, 1984
Fozzie gets mugged in the middle of nowhere.
	October 5, 1984
Beauregard wants a reading lamp that reads aloud.
	October 6, 1984
Statler and Waldorf complain about having nothing to complain about.
	October 7, 1984 (Sunday)
At a rally for her Vice Presidncy, Piggy announces that her term will consist of extravagant gestures for herself such as fine dining, multiple vacations, and expensive jewelry. She tells Kermit she never makes campaign promises she can't keep.
	October 8, 1984
Animal break dances for Kermit, Floyd and Zoot.
	October 9, 1984
The paperboy comes to collect so Beauregard returns the papers.
	October 10, 1984
Nurse Janice tells Dr. Bob that Beaker had been on a liquid diet too long.
	October 11, 1984
A skywriter promotes Miss Piggy for Vice President.
	October 12, 1984
Gonzo promised his mom he'd wait an hour after eating before doing his high-dive routine.
	October 13, 1984
An ache all over causes Dr. Bob to wrap Fozzie up like a mummy.
	October 14, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit interprets Piggy's Vice President campaign poster as her expecting him to run for President with him. Piggy clarifies that the billing would be too high for him on that ticket and calls him the First Frog.
	October 15, 1984
Beauregard goes fishing in the flooded basement.
	October 16, 1984
The sand trap on the golf course is more of a desert.
	October 17, 1984
Miss Piggy hates her computerized talking car.
	October 18, 1984
The crabs inside the shells complain about Gonzo and Fozzie trying to hear the ocean.
	October 19, 1984
Kermit plays Go Fish with a big fish.
	October 20, 1984
Kermit thinks Miss Piggy is preparing to go on safari when she's just going to the mall.
	October 21, 1984 (Sunday)
Rowlf gets into his scuba gear to get his golf ball out of a lake.
	October 22, 1984
Kermit helps Robin collect leaves for a school project by getting him to rake the lawn.
	October 23, 1984
Gonzo gives tours of the city (with a great view of The Empire State Building) via canon.
	October 24, 1984
Miss Piggy takes Kermit's picture.
	October 25, 1984
Dr. Bob treats a rabbit with a lucky foot.
	October 26, 1984
Fozzie goes fishing and comes home with canned fish.
	October 27, 1984
Statler and Waldorf think Fozzie's jokes get better as they get older.
	October 28, 1984 (Sunday)
Gonzo leaps from the prop room dressed as "Robin Gonzo". He attempts to steal Kermit's bounty and Kermit tricks him into taking out the trash.
	October 29, 1984
Dr. Bob doesn't know where to doc his yacht.
	October 30, 1984
Fozzie gets material from the audience.
	October 31, 1984
Fozzie is stuck in traffic behind parked cars.
	November 1, 1984
Fozzie is surveyed about gun ownership.
	November 2, 1984
A "Dear Fozzie" advice column.
	November 3, 1984
Dr. Bob cures Statler's money allergy.
	November 4, 1984 (Sunday)
Gonzo, Fozzie, and Beauregard play the "Moron Edition" of Trivial Pursuit.
	November 5, 1984
Dr. Bob treats a man who has gone to too many parties.
	November 6, 1984
Miss Piggy makes her final appeal to voters for Vice President.
	November 7, 1984
The election results are in for Miss Piggy.
	November 8, 1984
Miss Piggy suffers post-election depression.
	November 9, 1984
Miss Piggy says there were too much politics in her run for Vice President.
	November 10, 1984
Kermit consoles Miss Piggy on her election loss with a runners-up trophy.
	November 11, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit asks Floyd to take Animal for a walk, but he immediately starts chasing after a woman.
	November 12, 1984
Beauregard remembers why he tied a string to his finger.
	November 13, 1984
Miss Piggy orders some very light wine.
	November 14, 1984
Robin can't wait for winter so he makes a leaf-man.
	November 15, 1984
Statler and Waldorf reminisce over autumn.
	November 16, 1984
Fozzie Bear gives Beauregard his necktie for washday.
	November 17, 1984
Fozzie is forever in Dr. Bob's debt.
	November 18, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit's phone is broken so he tries to use the one in his room. He follows the cord all around the house and finally finds Robin hiding away in a closet with the phone, hoping to preserve his privacy.
	November 19, 1984
Miss Piggy tries running in place.
	November 20, 1984
Fozzie brings a gourd to his squash game with Kermit.
	November 21, 1984
Dr. Bob goes golfing.
	November 22, 1984
Gonzo's nose serves as a coathook for Miss Piggy.
	November 23, 1984
Fozzie's comedy is used as anesthesia for Dr. Bob's patients.
	November 24, 1984
Kermit and Fozzie find the perfect fishing spot.
	November 25, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit and Piggy spot an "odd-looking thing" in the forest. When they see it with its mate, Kermit says, "One thing leads to another."
	November 26, 1984
Fozzie struggles to give Animal a bath.
	November 27, 1984
Fozzie tries to explain a bad day to Miss Piggy.
	November 28, 1984
A ghost and a snake heckle Fozzie.
	November 29, 1984
Kermit sees Dr. Bob after cramping up trying to break dance.
	November 30, 1984
Camilla takes Gonzo to a baby shower.
	December 1, 1984
Fozzie is mistaken for Rodney Dangerfield by an autograph-seeking fan.
	December 2, 1984 (Sunday)
Robin and his friends play football with Fozzie, immediately tackling him to the ground in a pig pile.
	December 3, 1984
A squirrel's agent wants his cut of peanuts from Miss Piggy.
	December 4, 1984
The new deliveryman spills the beans on Miss Piggy sending herself flowers.
	December 5, 1984
Gonzo and Fozzie play football with some interference from a tree.
	December 6, 1984
Statler gets his reflexes checked by Dr. Bob.
	December 7, 1984
Beauregard uses a stage hook to pull Fozzie Bear off stage out of habit.
	December 8, 1984
Fozzie thinks he may be anemic, Kermit thinks he just forgot to hibernate.
	December 9, 1984 (Sunday)
While fishing, Fozzie gets philosophical with Kermit about the struggling life of a fish. "Excluding, of course, those who own their own yachts."
	December 10, 1984
A waiter serves Miss Piggy the bush she ran over in the parking lot as a salad.
	December 11, 1984
Miss Piggy uses a stage light as a night light to help her sleep (much to Foo-Foo's confusion).
	December 12, 1984
Statler and Waldorf give directions to a man looking for the theater where Fozzie performs.
	December 13, 1984
Fozzie hopes no one finds out he uses canned laughter.
	December 14, 1984
Service in the restaurant is much faster since the kitchen has been moved above the table.
	December 15, 1984
Fozzie's agent picks up a new client.
	December 16, 1984 (Sunday)
Kermit and Fozzie attend an amusement park where they ride a roller coaster and gamble on a birthstone game. When Fozzie wins, he claims his birthstone is zirconia.
	December 17, 1984
Miss Piggy launches Robin when she rides on his seesaw.
	December 18, 1984
Statler and Waldorf seek out some comic relief.
	December 19, 1984
Fozzie shows Kermit his new car phone.
	December 20, 1984
Gonzo's magic act turns someone into a duck (thanks to Statler and Waldorf).
	December 21, 1984
Kermit plays Eeny Meeny Miney Mo to decide on which computer to get - an Epple IIe or an IBN PC.
	December 22, 1984
Kermit brings food to eat while waiting for Miss Piggy to get ready to go out to dinner.
	December 23, 1984 (Sunday)
Piggy enjoys the romantic chill in the air as snowflakes fall on them, but Kermit says they should have fixed the roof.
	December 24, 1984
Miss Piggy visits Santa Claus.
	December 25, 1984
The Muppets wish the reader a Merry Christmas.
	December 26, 1984
Fozzie's lawyer is resting his case.
	December 27, 1984
Dr. Bob shows Nurse Janice how he decorated his Christmas tree with medical supplies so it could count as a tax deduction.
	December 28, 1984
When short on supplies, Dr. Bob tells Nurse Janice to take decorations off the tree.
	December 29, 1984
Beauregard meets someone taking a poll while he's out taking his pole somewhere.
	December 30, 1984 (Sunday)
Piggy helps Kermit with his laundry and takes advantage of the energy synergized through static cling.
	December 31, 1984
Statler and Waldorf reflect on all the great shows they saw that year - it takes them 2.5 seconds.
===1985===
	January 1, 1985
Kermit asks if Beauregard has to crack his knuckles "like that." Beau responds that he doesn't have to; he can crack them like "this" too, his hands held high above his head.
	January 2, 1985
Robin reads "Hey Diddle Diddle" and speculates that the cow used the space shuttle to jump over the moon.
	January 3, 1985
Fozzie cheats at juggling.
	January 4, 1985
Kermit remarks to a note by saying "Wow! Fantastic! Wonderful!". Miss Piggy asks to read the note, which simply says "Wow! Fantastic! Wonderful!"
	January 5, 1985
Dr. Bob tells Fozzie he fractured his funny bone. Fozzie says funny bones don't exist. Dr. Bob pulls out a silly, joking bone. He then charges Fozzie $30 for the visit and $10 for the entertainment.
	January 6, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit hides from Miss Piggy in the basement.
	January 7, 1985
Miss Piggy sends Robin away to do his homework so she can be alone with Kermit. Robin says if they spend more time alone, he's going to be a straight-A student.
	January 8, 1985
While skipping stones on a lake, Gonzo is excited that his skipped three times (which means his wish will come true). Fozzie points out that it is winter and the lake is frozen solid. Gonzo says that's what he wished for and rushes to go ice skating.
	January 9, 1985
Kermit drops a note tied to a rock into the sea that says "Is there intelligent life below sea level?" The rock is thrown back with a note saying "You just knocked out our computer with that rock, you bozo!!"
	January 10, 1985
Porky shows Robin his weird lumpy balloon. Robin says somebody at the balloon factory must have the hiccups.
	January 11, 1985
While laying on the couch, Fozzie tells Dr. Bob that he feels like someone is always behind him. A voice from underneath Fozzie says "Will you get up? I can't breathe."
	January 12, 1985
While reviewing scripts, Miss Piggy asks when she will find the right vehicle to carry her to super-stardom. Gonzo says she could borrow his cousin's forklift.
	January 13, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit (as Alistair Frog) shares "Great Moments in Muppet History: Climbing Mt. Everest." Gonzo, Fozzie (as Sir Edmund Hillary), and a Sherpa climb to the top of the highest mountain. Fozzie says he did it just to go sledding back down.
	January 14, 1985
While working on the budget, Kermit tells Miss Piggy that with all their expenses by the time the tickets for next week's show are printed they'll be bankrupt.
	January 15, 1985
Robin asks Kermit to teach him how to play the banjo.
	January 16, 1985
A delivery man shows up with boxes of cosmetics for Miss Piggy. Kermit is shocked when another man arrives with a hose to deliver her make-up remover.
	January 17, 1985
Kermit tells Miss Piggy she'll be singing the opening song a cappella because the band's bus broke down and Fozzie's accordion is broke.
	January 18, 1985
A voice says that they are there to collect for their birthday present. Kermit protests and says "Who'd collect for their own present?" A giant monster enters and a terrified Kermit and Fozzie toss him money.
	January 19, 1985
Fozzie takes Miss Piggy's jewels to the jeweler to be appraised. He identifies a genuine diamond, a real sapphire, and real emerald. When the last diamond is just paste, Fozzie says they can't all be gems.
	January 20, 1985 (Sunday)
While watching "Star Zone" on TV, Robin gets scared when Miss Piggy enters in her robe and curlers.
	January 21, 1985
The Muppet Theater is advertising "Standing Room Only." A couple remarks that the show must be good and purchase tickets. Beauregard tells Rizzo the business has really picked up since all the theater seats are out of reupholstering.
	January 22, 1985
A delivery man gives Miss Piggy a Candy-gram. She tips him with a piece. He's disgusted that he always gets the mint nougat.
	January 23, 1985
Kermit asks Fozzie if he's nervous about performing his 100th monologue. Fozzie says he isn't nervous as he sits with no chair.
	January 24, 1985
Statler and Waldorf prepare for Fozzie's 100th monologue. They decide to send flowers and throw potted plants at the stage.
	January 25, 1985
Fozzie says he's got a big surprise for his 100th monologue. Statler and Waldorf ask if he's going to try telling a funny joke. Fozzie is mad they ruined his surprise.
	January 26, 1985
A singing telegram arrives for Fozzie to congratulate him on his 100th monologue along with a bouquet of squirting flowers from "the Bad Joke Society."
	January 27, 1985 (Sunday)
Robin goes diving in the bathtub for his soap.
	January 28, 1985
Fozzie shows Kermit that his rubber chicken laid a rubber egg.
	January 29, 1985
Miss Piggy tells a reporter that a beautiful face, a great audience and a grand stage are the tools of an actor. Beauregard overhears and wonders how he'd fit his face, a stage and an audience into his toolbox.
	January 30, 1985
Miss Piggy introduces her new chauffeur, Robert, to Kermit. Now all she needs is a limo.
	January 31, 1985
Fozzie is holding a sign saying "Keep Our Country Beautiful." An ugly monster approaches and tosses Fozzie and his sign in the trash.
	February 1, 1985
Dr. Bob tells Nurse Janice that he's exhausted from hunting down his med school roommate at a conference, they caught up while playing golf.
	February 2, 1985
Foo-Foo is disgusted that Miss Piggy asks her to roll over on the floor.
	February 3, 1985 (Sunday)
Dr. Bob treats football player Crusher Muldoon.
	February 4, 1985
Animal destroys his drumset.
	February 5, 1985
Kermit the Frog tells Beauregard that he cut his finger on a paper bag.
	February 6, 1985
Gonzo sees a sign for off sideshow acts, including the "Amazing Bearded Lady," the "Incredible Tom Tiny" and "the Unbelievable Man Who Does All His Christmas Shopping for Next Year in January When Everything is on Sale".
	February 7, 1985
Miss Piggy accidentally eats the place card while at a dinner with Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and Floyd.
	February 8, 1985
Fozzie tells Scooter that he is having trouble getting close to Dr. Bob. While treating Fozzie, the doctor uses a long tongue depressor to keep his distance.
	February 9, 1985
Beauregard tells Dr. Bob that his back still hurts from his camping trip two weeks ago. It's because Bo's still wearing his backpack with all his gear.
	February 10, 1985 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy goes to a beauty school for a free seminar. The course titles get increasingly specific and confusing.
	February 11, 1985
Fozzie goes to Dr. Bob to get a mole removed. He takes off his hat to show a small mammal.
	February 12, 1985
A man comes to Kermit's door collecting for "Help the Wealthy." He's looking for donations of tax deductible receipts.
	February 13, 1985
Kermit tells Miss Piggy that he's celebrating his anniversary of ten years in show business with a trip to the psychiatrist.
	February 14, 1985
Statler and Waldorf notice that Fozzie makes a lot of money for the theater as Scooter sells ear plugs during his comedy act.
	February 15, 1985
A clown laments to Dr. Bob that he's sold 53 billion hamburgers but no one takes him seriously.
	February 16, 1985
Miss Piggy tells Kermit and Robin that she went to a new boutique called "Excessive Behavior" where they were having a sale on gilded lilies.
	February 17, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit asks Fozzie if he ever had a favorite pen while expounding on his favorite writing instrument. Robin then asks if they had a favorite crayon.
	February 18, 1985
Kermit asks Beauregard where the crowbar is. Bo points to a group of black birds drinking at a bar.
	February 19, 1985
Kermit comments on Fozzie's ukulele. It turns out Fozzie washed his guitar in hot water.
	February 20, 1985
While walking in the snow, Miss Piggy complains to Kermit that it's cold. Kermit asks why she didn't wear a coat. She says "what?! And cover my new dress?!"
	February 21, 1985
Kermit tells Miss Piggy she was supposed to be in makeup 10 minutes ago. She puts on makeup before going to the makeup department.
	February 22, 1985
Beauregard caddies for Dr. Bob as he plays golf in the snow.
	February 23, 1985
Fozzie accidentally practices golf upside down due to an inverted golf manual.
	February 24, 1985 (Sunday)
Dr. Bob tells Nurse Janice to put up a sign with a new policy - "All Payments Due Before Treatment." This is due to it being hard to get payment from dead patients.
	February 25, 1985
Fozzie informs Kermit that they have to cancel the opening act where Miss Piggy sits on the piano and sings. It is shown that she broke Rowlf's piano.
	February 26, 1985
Beauregard yells at Gonzo for walking on his freshly washed floor in skis.
	February 27, 1985
Fozzie tells Kermit that he just graduated and got his diploma from "The School of Hard Knock-Knocks" for memorizing the world's toughest knock-knock jokes.
	February 28, 1985
Fozzie gives a presentation for career day at Muppet Junior High. He talks about the importance of timing in comedy as the bell rings and the auditorium empties.
	March 1, 1985
Miss Piggy goes to see the Great Gonzo Mystic while wearing a large fur hat. Gonzo says he sees softness, beauty, warmth and glamour in his crystal ball. Piggy asks if it's her, Gonzo says it's her hat.
	March 2, 1985
Fozzie looks out the window and tells Rizzo that it's been three years since he planted ivy. He comments that the first year it sleeps, the second year it creeps and the third year it leaps. As he says this the ivy bursts through the window and covers Fozzie.
	March 3, 1985 (Sunday)
While trying to write his monologue, Fozzie's pen keeps squirting ink on him. So Fozzie gets an umbrella to protect himself.
	March 4, 1985
Miss Piggy comes to tell the group that she just finished her voice lessons in the next room. No one can hear her because Gonzo is wearing earmuffs, Fozzie is wearing earplugs and Kermit is blasting his boombox.
	March 5, 1985
Miss Piggy tries to shatter crystal with her voice. She tries in front of Kermit, but rather than breaking, the glass wilts.
	March 6, 1985
Miss Piggy continues to try to shatter crystal with her voice. She tries in front of Fozzie, but rather than breaking the glass, she breaks the table.
	March 7, 1985
Miss Piggy is still trying to shatter crystal with her voice. She tells Beauregard she's trying to crack the crystal, so he helps by smashing it with a mallet.
	March 8, 1985
Miss Piggy is finally able to shatter crystal with her voice. Gonzo says, "if your voice can do that to glass, think what it must be doing to our eardrums."
	March 9, 1985
Kermit brings some champagne to celebrate Miss Piggy's accomplishment of being able to shatter crystal with her voice. However, he's not sure what they can pour it into because Piggy has broken all the glasses.
	March 10, 1985 (Sunday)
It's snowing, so Fozzie and Gonzo decide to hit the slopes and go skiing. After renting their skis, they go to take the T-bar lift. However, neither have done that before and are unsure how to ride it (Fozzie laying over the bar backwards and Gonzo hooking on with his nose).
	March 11, 1985
Kermit informs Miss Piggy that the bird feeder is empty as a flock of 13 angry birds are outside her window.
	March 12, 1985
Mystic Gonzo tells Fozzie that he sees cloudiness, agony and the pain of a close friend. Gonzo is not looking into a crystal ball—he's looking into Fozzie's fishbowl and his goldfish is sick.
	March 13, 1985
Robin asks Beauregard what he's doing. He's tearing up the polka-dot linoleum flooring because Kermit said he wanted the floor to be spotless.
	March 14, 1985
Gonzo enters in swimgear to tell Kermit that he got a new contract to do a combination exercise and travelogue show. Kermit asks if he's doing "diving in the Caribbean." Gonzo says "No, jogging in Venice."
	March 15, 1985
Kermit gives Beauregard a dollar to tip the waiter. Bo keeps the bill and knocks over the waiter.
	March 16, 1985
Kermit asks the saleswoman at the Ladies' Wear store what he can get a woman who has everything. After a moment of thought, she replies "more!"
	March 17, 1985 (Sunday)
Robin goes sledding.
	March 18, 1985
Piggy thinks it's incredible that she found a pearl in her oyster. Kermit doesn't agree considering she's piled up hundreds of them in her search.
	March 19, 1985
Kermit walks by a graffiti wall that reads "Class of '85, Smart and Great." He frowns as he sees the next part misspelled: "We Can't Wait Too Graduwate!"
	March 20, 1985
Gonzo, Fozzie, and Rowlf model Piggy's dresses so she can decide what to wear.
	March 21, 1985
Frustrated with tying his tie in the mirror, Piggy offers to help Fozzie... tying the tie around his face.
	March 22, 1985
Fozzie orders the catch of the day, but regrets his decision when the waitress brings him a soggy boot.
	March 23, 1985
A farm rooster nudges a chicken awake, who sleepily makes her way over to a fence post to deliver a morning cockadoodledoo. On her return, she tells the reader that she and the rooster have an agreement: he hates getting up early, and she hates house cleaning.
	March 24, 1985 (Sunday)
Robin begs his uncle Kermit to buy him a uniform in a department store. Fozzie assumes it's for little league, but Kermit concedes that this year it's Michael Jackson uniforms.
	March 25, 1985
Piggy orders the surf and turf which the waiter delivers on a surfboard.
	March 26, 1985
Kermit checks in on his nephew taking a bath, who has hidden his uncle's banjo under the bubbles.
	March 27, 1985
Statler and Waldorf praise a performance before they realize this is the Muppets they're talking about. They shift their calls for "author" to "plagiarist."
	March 28, 1985
A maître d' offers a jacket to Fozzie at a restaurant that requires them. He says this happens all the time, as Fozzie sees the entire clientele wearing the same style of jacket.
	March 29, 1985
Kermit wants to know why Gonzo is sleeping on his desk, but Gonzo says he's doing an impersonation of a desk calendar.
	March 30, 1985
While reading his copy of Variety, Piggy tells Kermit that she saw the most sensational dress today in Mahon's Department Store. Kermit supposes he had to be there to appreciate it, but Piggy reveals that she brought it home with her.
	March 31, 1985 (Sunday)
A salesman in the electronics department tries to sell Miss Piggy the latest "top of the line" computer—with 80K memory expandable to 160K, built in word processor, high-speed digital data memory drive, daisy wheel, fully-loaded game system, voice synthesizer and additional software. Piggy is not interested but wants a toaster.
	April 1, 1985
Kermit hates when someone reads over his shoulder. The gigantic Thog is looming over him and reading over his shoulder, head, body, desk and the entire room.
	April 2, 1985
Piggy asks Animal for a big drum roll when she goes out on stage. Animal complies by rolling a big drum out on the stage floor.
	April 3, 1985
Piggy asks her "mirror, mirror on the wall" who is the fairest of them all. When it responds, "Are you talking to me?," the mirror on a different wall expresses relief.
	April 4, 1985
Fozzie hopes Kermit can help clear away the black cloud that's been hanging over his head. Upon his approach, Kermit asks Fozzie to move over a little... the black cloud is blocking his light.
	April 5, 1985
Kermit regrets asking Robin to take his thumb off the grade he received on a history test.
	April 6, 1985
Dr. Bob coaches Fozzie on how he can stick to things. His mnemonic works and he walks away with the couch stuck to his back.
	April 7, 1985 (Sunday)
A father educates his son on how a bear fishes, describing how they can slash with their mighty claws. Fozzie looks up from fumbling around in a pond where he had dropped his fishing pole.
	April 8, 1985
Robin runs from a tornado as Rowlf tries to convince him to keep golfing while holding on to a tree in the wind.
	April 9, 1985
Beauregard asks to borrow some of Kermit's tape, pulling it from the dispenser without ripping off a piece. Kermit insists there's a better way.
	April 10, 1985
The star on the door of Miss Piggy's Dressing Room has gotten so big that she now needs a bigger door.
	April 11, 1985
Statler and Waldorf sit in their box seats, elated at the quality of the show they've just seen. The point of view shifts to reveal that they've been watching tiny television sets.
	April 12, 1985
Piggy asks Dr. Bob if he misspoke when he asked if her diet was sticking to her. Dr. Bob clarifies that she has a bon-bon stuck to her elbow.
	April 13, 1985
Kermit explains that he doesn't drop the fruit he's juggling because the prices these days dictate that he not.
	April 14, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit and Robin have a picnic. They look at the clouds. Kermit says they look like a flock of sheep. However, when a black "sheep" enters the flock, they run off as it starts to rain.
	April 15, 1985
Rowlf walks in on Kermit placing pressure on Fozzie's back after he threw it out, deriding him, "You don't care who you step on to get to the top, do you?"
	April 16, 1985
Dr. Bob allows Piggy to have one bon-bon surprise as part of her diet plan, revealed to be one enormous bon-bon.
	April 17, 1985
Zoot gives Animal a flea bath, and the fleas (and scratching) move from Animal to Zoot.
	April 18, 1985
Fozzie asks if the marks on Kermit's door are where he measures Robin's height. Kermit says it's where he bangs his head when the show doesn't go right.
	April 19, 1985
A Muppet so large it doesn't fit within the stage proscenium introduces Miss Piggy. She admits it wasn't what she had in mind when she asked for a big introduction.
	April 20, 1985
Rowlf dresses in rags to play some rag music on the piano.
	April 21, 1985 (Sunday)
Fozzie seeks Kermit's help in deciding what to wear to the Annual Comedians' Costume Party. After Kermit convinces him to go as himself, Fozzie enters the room to find that everyone is dressed as him.
	April 22, 1985
A butterfly auditions for the lead in Madame Butterfly.
	April 23, 1985
Psychiatrist Dr. Bob explains the fear of being alone to a group of thirteen people all huddled together in a Loneliness Clinic.
	April 24, 1985
At a bar, a frog asks Kermit about his lady friend. He says she's the same... by way of being different (in reference to Piggy's extravagant outfit).
	April 25, 1985
Fozzie is excited to receive a letter in a bottle on a deserted island, until he reads that it comes from a property manager.
	April 26, 1985
Dr. Bob justifies charging Statler $12,000 for a heart bypass operation by explaining that he bypassed the heart to operate on his foot.
	April 27, 1985
Piggy asks a store clerk to clarify the first option offered when she asked if Piggy would be paying cash or charge.
	April 28, 1985 (Sunday)
Rowlf plays "A Song by Rowlf," which he just wrote, on the piano. He performs for seven panels, wondering if the song was too long when he sees that his candles have melted down.
	April 29, 1985
Piggy offers Kermit a break from working in an editing room filled with reels of film stacked up high next to his film projector; she proposes going to see a movie.
	April 30, 1985
Robin feels left out when a waiter provides Kermit with a lobster bib. Kermit arranges for the waiter to provide Robin with a cheeseburger bib.
	May 1, 1985
Kermit the Frog comments to Fozzie Bear that the desert is an odd place to get inspiration for his jokes. Fozzie says it's perfect if you "like dry humor." Kermit is sitting in a car with Kermit eye headlights similar to Jim Henson's 1978 Lotus Eclat.
	May 2, 1985
While working on paperwork at his desk, Miss Piggy invites Kermit the Frog to join her for lunch, commenting that he's "been glued to that desk all morning." Kermit follows after her while literally stuck to the desk.
	May 3, 1985
While visiting the Muppeville Post Office, Fozzie Bear looks at the wanted posters - viewing Whatnots wanted for mail fraud and grand theft and a poster for himself wanted for "bad jokes."
	May 4, 1985
Kermit shouts to his nephew Robin that it's his night to do the dishes. Fozzie Bear says he's not sure if Robin heard him. Kermit whispers that "if he doesn't start hearing better, he's not going to get that allowance increase." An enthusiastic Robin comes running in upon hearing the words "increase" and "allowance."
	May 5, 1985 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy, holding a microphone, thanks the crowd before starting her rendition of "Feelings." While sitting on the couch, Kermit the Frog laments to Gonzo, Camilla, Rowlf the Dog, Fozzie Bear and other Whatnot party guests that "ever since she got that portable microphone she's been impossible at parties."
	May 6, 1985
Fozzie Bear wakes up to an angry vulture perched on his window, stating "something tells me this isn't going to be my day."
	May 7, 1985
Fozzie Bear tells Miss Piggy that he's decided to add ventriloquism to his act. Piggy asks if he bought a wooden dummy. He says he bought a "Do It Yourself" Kit while holding a log, an axe and a set of instructions.
	May 8, 1985
Miss Piggy asks how she looks. Kermit says "like a million bucks." Beauregard adds "...in pennies!!"
	May 9, 1985
Fozzie Bear avoids stepping in an open Man-hole only to fall into a Bear-hole.
	May 10, 1985
Gonzo pitches his act to Kermit stating that he'll dive off a 50-foot-high platform and land in a bowl of milk. Kermit asks why milk. Gonzo explains that his doctor says it'll be better for his ulcer.
	May 11, 1985
Beauregard invites Gonzo and Fozzie to go to the drive-in before remembering he doesn't own a car.
	May 12, 1985 (Sunday)
Fozzie Bear asks Kermit who wore the two paths in the carpet. Kermit explains it was his nephew Robin - one worn running out to catch the school bus each morning, and the other one's from where he runs back in to get his lunch. Just then Robin dashes through to snatch his forgotten lunch pail.
	May 13, 1985
Kermit thanks Beauregard for replacing the loose boards on the stage, but comments that the wood might be a bit green as leaves and branches sprout from the stage.
	May 14, 1985
Dr. Bob is putting for a birdie. After he makes the shot it is revealed he was literally putting on behalf of an actual bird.
	May 15, 1985
Miss Piggy asks the Swedish Chef for the secret behind his crunchy fish sandwich. Kermit translates that he leaves the bones in.
	May 16, 1985
Beauregard and Kermit order soup. Bo asks the waiter for chopsticks, he explains to Kermit that "it lasts longer" that way.
	May 17, 1985
Fozzie Bear calls Kermit from a payphone to inform him that he can't go fishing with him. Kermit asks what happened. Fozzie, who went out to dig up some bait and is now being confronted by a giant, angry worm cornering him in the phonebooth, says "something came up."
	May 18, 1985
Miss Piggy is crying uncontrollably while watching television. Kermit asks what she's watching that's making her cry so much. She says "a documentary on onions."
	May 19, 1985 (Sunday)
While at the carnival, Kermit is concerned that Miss Piggy is lost in the Hall of 1,000 Mirrors. He sends a clown in to look for her. She wasn't lost, she never made it past the first mirror.
	May 20, 1985
Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog are standing in the dark. Kermit asks for somebody to turn on the floodlights, revealing the two standing waist deep in water.
	May 21, 1985
Kermit asks Miss Piggy to do him a favor and start taking shorter showers.
	May 22, 1985
While entering Dr. Bob's office, Fozzie tells Kermit that he likes to see a private physician because he hates the "meat market" feeling of hospitals. Nurse Janice tells him the doctor is with a patient and to take a number (with a "now serving" sign similar to a deli or butcher shop).
	May 23, 1985
Statler says that he hates when people drop hints so their friends won't forget their birthday, stating that "good friends don't forget each other's birthdays." Waldorf then wishes him a happy birthday and Statler corrects him that "it's not till tomorrow."
	May 24, 1985
It's Statler's birthday and the candles finally outweigh the cake. Waldorf looks on as the cake collapses under the weight of all the candles.
	May 25, 1985
Dr. Bob tells his patient that a fear of flying is quite common. A small swallow lays on a couch and retorts that Dr. Bob never had to fly to Capistrano.
	May 26, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear go to get a cup of coffee after the show. They go to Mama's Casa de Coffee and the hostess asks them "smoking or nonsmoking" and then "caffeinated or decaffeinated." Finally she asks "good service or lousy service" while presenting a sharp-dressed waiter and a slovenly waiter.
	May 27, 1985
Miss Piggy walks by a small bowl of water. Two sets of eyes poke out and after she leaves two giant hippopotami jump out exclaiming "that was close," "last time she caught us in there she had a fit."
	May 28, 1985
Fozzie Bear excitedly finds a dollar bill on the ground outside a toy store. He looks in the window to see the toys all cost $9 for a kite, $15 for a pogo stick, $11 for a soccer ball, $13 for a truck, $25 for a doll and $30 for a spaceman. Disheartened, Fozzie tosses the dollar back on the ground and walks away.
	May 29, 1985
Kermit asks Miss Piggy if she ever signed up for that "defensive driving" course. She says her instructor should be there any minute as an Army tank crashes through the wall.
	May 30, 1985
While at the National Medical Association Convention, Dr. Bob is arguing with a cat physician. A mediator says "it's not in the best interest of medicine to have our associates divided over such an important issue" as the crowd around them is arguing over whether golf is best or if tennis is.
	May 31, 1985
Fozzie Bear is checking his alphabet soup; he finds all the letters but notices there are no letter "P's" in the soup. The waitress says they used all of those in the "P" soup.
	June 1, 1985
While talking on the phone, Kermit says Piggy is really sticking to her diet, she hasn't gone to the refrigerator all day, and she really has a will of iron. Miss Piggy is shown unable to reach the refrigerator as she has an iron chain around her ankle.
	June 2, 1985 (Sunday)
Gonzo and Kermit do a trapeze act. Kermit catches Gonzo who slips out of his leotard.
	June 3, 1985
Miss Piggy tells Fozzie that she could have danced all night. Fozzie asks what stopped her. An exhausted Kermit says "morning."
	June 4, 1985
Director Kermit tells Miss Piggy that he wants her to get excited, tense and frantic in the next scene. Piggy, standing text to a giant lion, asks "what's my motivation?"
	June 5, 1985
Miss Piggy asks Kermit what he thinks of the new look of the Statue of Liberty. Looking on the statue modeled after Piggy (and holding a copy of Miss Piggy's Guide to Life), she reveals she has an uncle on the restoration committee.
	June 6, 1985
Psychiatrist Dr. Bob tells a depressed moon that he's just going through a phase.
	June 7, 1985
Miss Piggy walks by Kermit and Fozzie Bear with straight blown-back hair. Kermit explains that she just bought a convertible.
	June 8, 1985
Gonzo is flapping his arms and flying in the sky. A bird tells him that "geeks can't fly." He begins to fall and exclaims "now they tell me."
	June 9, 1985 (Sunday)
Fozzie watches Marty and dozens of others file into work. Stunned that they all fit into a small phonebooth-sized building, the door closes to reveal the company name: "Muppet Sardine Co."
	June 10, 1985
Fozzie Bear, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy are reporting as hosts of "The Perky News Team Hour." They have nothing to report as it's 7:00 A.M. and they just woke up.
	June 11, 1985
Fozzie Bear shares the sports report for the Perky News team. Wayne Gretzky hit a slapshot that sailed through the stadium wall and kept going. Just then a puck flies in and hits him in the head.
	June 12, 1985
Kermit the Frog shares a Perky News Team exclusive. He is handed a bulletin - the teletype machine is broken.
	June 13, 1985
Kermit asks Piggy if she's sure this is what she wants. She confirms she needs some space as she boards a space shuttle.
	June 14, 1985
Dr. Bob shops for golfballs. He passes displays for balls promising "no cut," "extra distance," "high trajectory," and "more loft." He asks the clerk if they just have ones that will stay in the fairway.
	June 15, 1985
Fozzie catches the same fish as a giant, angry monster.
	June 16, 1985 (Sunday)
Gonzo juggles eggs that hatch into chicks. Two chickens look on as one remarks that "Gonzo's so wonderful with the children."
	June 17, 1985
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, Piggy responds to a question on how to house train a dog. Piggy says training a dog to clean the house can be a problem but the best way is to tie a feather to its tail or just trade the dog for a vacuum cleaner.
	June 18, 1985
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, Piggy responds to a question about the best way to serve an artichoke. She suggests hold it firmly, toss it high and swing your racquet straight out and follow through.
	June 19, 1985
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, Piggy is asked by a fan how she finds her fabulous clothes. She states she just opens her closet and there they are.
	June 20, 1985
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, Piggy is asked for a recommendation for a personal computer for a long sea voyage. She suggests a Commodore.
	June 21, 1985
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, a writer asks why when they shave their legs the hair just stays there. Piggy asks if they have tried taking off their nylons first.
	June 22, 1985
In a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column, Piggy is stumped when asked what to do by a lucky reader who never loses.
	June 23, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit cues Fozzie Bear as the Perky News Team sports anchor. Fozzie reports that Tim Rice checked his swing on a pitch from Tom Seaver. Reading the report that the sheer power of Rice's wrist shattered the bat and sent a piece flying out of the stadium, Fozzie says this is hard to believe. Just then he is hit in the head by the end of the bat flying into the studio.
	June 24, 1985
While out to dinner, Miss Piggy tells Kermit to ask the violinist to play her favorite song. She can't remember the name of the song, Kermit tells her it's "Unforgettable."
	June 25, 1985
Gonzo asks Fozzie Bear his thoughts on his photos. Fozzie says they're all black. Gonzo smugly replies "of course they're all black" as they are part of his "views of inner lens cap" series.
	June 26, 1985
Kermit asks Scooter what they have lined up for their Hawaiian number. Scooter says there's the William Tell bit. Kermit asks what that has to do with Hawaii, Scooter says he modified the act a little. As an archer walks by with a boy with a pineapple on his head.
	June 27, 1985
It's pouring rain and Piggy tells Kermit he shouldn't go out on a night like this. Kermit gleefully hops in the puddles and Piggy looks on thinking "sometimes I think he just likes going out in bad weather."
	June 28, 1985
Statler and Waldorf applaud an act. Waldorf asks "what's this called again?" Statler tells him it's clapping. Waldorf had forgotten as he hadn't done it for so long.
	June 29, 1985
Kermit asks Scooter if the jug band is there yet. Scooter says they just rolled in as a trio of jugs with instruments walk by.
	June 30, 1985 (Sunday)
Fozzie can't wait to tell Kermit that the secret of a good fisherman is patience.
	July 1, 1985
Director Kermit tells Miss Piggy when he says "camera one" look into camera one. She asks when she should look into camera two? Kermit says as soon as they can afford a second camera.
	July 2, 1985
Kermit relaxes under a tree to forget all about the stress of work at the theater. He is interrupted by Fozzie Bear asking if the seat next to him is taken.
	July 3, 1985
Fozzie Bear dedicates his monologue to all the great old comedians of vaudeville. Statler tells Waldorf it's the least Fozzie can do as "he's using all their jokes."
	July 4, 1985
Miss Piggy tells Rowlf at the piano that she'll be "singing 'My Way' in my key." Kermit asks Rowlf what key that is. Rowlf replies that "we just call it 'her key.' There is no other name for it."
	July 5, 1985
Scooter hands Miss Piggy a script with a few lines on it. Piggy says that's not her script and asks who has her script. Fozzie, overwhelmed by a giant scroll of dialog, remarks "I think I do." Kermit, Gonzo, and Rowlf look on.
	July 6, 1985
Gonzo is disgusted by the cafeteria's lunch of "Japanese Stir-fried Vegetables." Fozzie says he'll ask the chef to fry up a hot dog for him. Kermit enters and asks where the Swedish Chef is, Gonzo tells him that "he'll be right back, he's wokking my dog."
	July 7, 1985
The Great Gonzo attempts a daring stunt of diving headfirst, 100 feet into a vat of lime Jell-O. He bounces off the pool. Fozzie comments to Beauregard that they should have mixed one part Jell-O to four parts water.
	July 8, 1985
Kermit and Miss Piggy visit Okefenokee Swamp to meet Kermit's relatives. Characters from Walt Kelly's Pogo make cameo appearances.
	July 9, 1985
Beauregard is sitting on a big rock. He tells Kermit the Frog that he discovered oil. Kermit tells him no one just discovers oil in the middle of a field. He encourages Bo to come back to the theater. As the two walk away, Bo looks back to see a geyser of oil lifting the rock.
	July 10, 1985
Fozzie Bear wakes up and thinks that someday a little bird will land on his windowsill and sing a song of happiness that'll fill his life with new meaning. A small bird lands on his sill and chirps "Twit! Twit!" at him.
	July 11, 1985
Gonzo shows Fozzie his messy home. Gonzo claims that his mom was wrong when she said he'd never get anywhere living like a slob. His evidence: he made the cover of this month's "Bad Housekeeping" magazine.
	July 12, 1985
Beauregard places a "For Sale" sign out in front of the Muppet Theater. Scooter asks if they're selling the theater. Bo says "No, just the sign."
	July 13, 1985
Kermit and Gonzo overhear munching come from inside a closet. Gonzo says it sounds like "munching moths," Kermit says more likely a "devious dieter." He opens the door to confirm his suspicion and reveal Miss Piggy munching on chips.
	July 14, 1985 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy writes a "Miss Piggy's Advice from the Heart" column. When asked what kind of personal computer she recommends buying, she concludes simply "buy the pink one."
	July 15, 1985
The Great Gonzo attempts to perform a magic act. He tells Kermit he can make a $20 bill disappear. Kermit is unimpressed, saying "what's so hard about that?" He shows Gonzo how to make it disappear - he simply hands it to Miss Piggy.
	July 16, 1985
Fozzie Bear confronts Statler and Waldorf, telling them that "all you guys ever do is ridicule me!! If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!!" The two conclude that he's right and hit him in the face with a pie.
	July 17, 1985
Kermit the Frog praises Dr. Bob for his impressive golf shot, which he skillfully "shaved," "sliced" and "sewn-up" to reach the green. Dr. Bob responds by comparing his precise golfing skills to the delicate operations that doctors perform.
	July 18, 1985
While golfing with Kermit, Dr. Bob banks a shot off a turtle.
	July 19, 1985
Two rats are sitting at a candlelit table for a fancy dinner. One remarks "dinner is served" as Beauregard brings a trashcan out to their table on top of the dumpster.
	July 20, 1985
Looking at the old rundown chairs in their theater box, Waldorf comments that it's about time they got some new seats. Statler asks "what's wrong with these seats?" Waldorf retorts, "they're in this theater."
	July 21, 1985 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy is juggling two phone calls, making high demands for her performances. She tells Irving she won't accept a role unless it's in a big show, and tells Sid she won't do a duet unless it's with Kenny Rogers. She also insists on a higher percentage for a movie role and demands a TV special be moved to prime time. As she aggressively negotiates, Fozzie enters. She asks what he wants and Fozzie sheepishly responds "Irving and Sid's phone numbers."
	July 22, 1985
Miss Piggy asks who destroyed the roast turkey that she was saving for lunch. Floyd Pepper says he did because "Animal needed new drumsticks." The two look out onto the stage where Animal is drumming with the turkey legs.
	July 23, 1985
Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear rehearse a scene. Kermit says it was a fine rehearsal but Piggy needs to memorize her lines by tonight. It is then revealed that her lines were written on Fozzie's chest.
	July 24, 1985
Fozzie asks Kermit why he's carting a hand-truck with a giant stack of papers on it out onto the stage. Kermit tells him that he let Miss Piggy write her own introduction again.
	July 25, 1985
Fozzie Bear asks if anyone would believe it's his first time water-skiing. He's standing on the boat with the ski line tangled around Rowlf and the boat's motor. Rowlf dryly responds, "you don't say."
	July 26, 1985
Fozzie tells his psychiatrist, Dr. Bob, that sometimes he feels completely invisible. Dr. Bob is startled and asks "who said that?"
	July 27, 1985
Waldorf asks Statler if he heard that "crash"? Statler looks down to see their balcony has broken off the theater.
	July 28, 1985 (Sunday)
Beauregard is dismayed as he looks at a sign labeled "Bo's job list." The tasks include (1) Take out trash, (2) Eat Candy, (3) Fix Roof, (4) Go Swimming, (5) Clean Gutters, and (6) Take a Nap. Gonzo says some of those jobs look like fun. Bo says the even ones are great, but he was only hired to do the odd jobs.
	July 29, 1985
Miss Piggy overhears as Robin tells his uncle Kermit that he's going to be just like him when he grows up. But Kermit flees as Robin adds that "no 'dag-nabbed domineering ol' bossy lady pig's gonna get the best of me' either."
	July 30, 1985
Fozzie gives his hat to a lady at the hat check. She looks it over and checks the hat and says "it's fine."
	July 31, 1985
Gonzo describes his new act to Kermit. He'll come on the stage strapped to a rack and proceed to be pulled to a height of ten feet. Kermit says the show has a baseball theme; Gonzo says it's perfect - he'll be the seventh-inning stretch.
	August 1, 1985
Miss Piggy has installed a giant hot tub with a bridge over it.
	August 2, 1985
The Great Gonzo Mystic tells Fozzie that he just saw his life flash before his eyes, and Fozzie's life has been pretty boring.
	August 3, 1985
A naked Kermit inspects his empty closet and asks Robin if he's seen his collars anywhere. Robin and his friends come in wearing them as skirts, stating that they were playing "elves."
	August 4, 1985 (Sunday)
Fozzie shows Kermit his new gas-powered remote-controlled model plane. He says it has a "built in device to tell you when you're low on fuel." As the plane sputters and crashes a little pilot parachutes out to tell Fozzie "you're low on fuel."
	August 5, 1985
While fishing, Fozzie says his hook is caught on something. Kermit says give it a good hard yank. Their boat flips over as it is revealed Fozzie was hooked to the bottom of their boat.
	August 6, 1985
Miss Piggy remarks that her record company gave her free copies of her new album. She says to Fozzie, Rowlf, Gonzo and Kermit "why don't you all take one." When they don't immediately take copies, she threatens "why don't you all take one, or else?!!"
	August 7, 1985
Fozzie finds a genie lamp in the sand. He rubs it and a beautiful female genie comes out. He continues to rub the lamp and the genie slaps him, exclaiming "fresh!"
	August 8, 1985
Rowlf's piano is out of tune. It is being crushed by the weight of Miss Piggy sitting on it.
	August 9, 1985
Robin tells his classmates that he asked Miss Piggy if she'd come speak to their class but he didn't know she would make such a big production out of it. She enters the room with a marching band and parade including a elephant.
	August 10, 1985
Gonzo is being lifted by balloons. He scoffs at those who thought that birds would attack his balloons, remarking that birds don't even like balloons. He does discover they do however love string as they attack the stings of his balloons and send him plummeting.
	August 11, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit and Piggy are fighting. Fozzie enters and says he heard the two were having a fight. The couple are shocked that "word sure travels fast around here." Fozzie says if they're going to fight, maybe they should turn off the PA system.
	August 12, 1985
Miss Piggy asks the mechanic at "The Dog Wrench Auto Repair" if he can fix her car. Her car is crashed through the wall of the repair shop. She think there's an issue with the breaks.
	August 13, 1985
Gonzo tells Fozzie that Miss Piggy refuses to sing the opening number. Kermit is hopping mad.
	August 14, 1985
Scooter tells Kermit that the Swedish Chef is working on a new recipe — asparagus spears. Just then a polearm with asparagus tied to the end flies over their heads and sticks into the wall.
	August 15, 1985
Beauregard attempts to collect Statler and Waldorf's tickets for the Muppet Show. They show his salt and pepper shakers, stating that they have "season passes."
	August 16, 1985
Fozzie notices marks in the doorframe. Kermit says they're for measuring Robin's growth. Fozzie is confused because Robin is not that tall. Kermit explains that frogs don't care how tall he is, they measure jumps.
	August 17, 1985
A bandaged monkey is interviewing for a new job with Kermit. The monkey says he can do flips, handstands, the twist, the Hustle, and even knows some New Wave steps. But he begs Kermit to not ask him to break-dance as an upset organ grinder looks on.
	August 18, 1985 (Sunday)
Dr. Bob tries to teach Animal to golf. The doctor tells him to address the ball, not digest it.
	August 19, 1985
Miss Piggy is all dressed up and upset. Kermit doesn't understand why she's mad as they sit watching a flock of birds swimming in a pond — he told her that he was taking her to see swan lake.
	August 20, 1985
Kermit tells Fozzie Bear that he received orders from above to cancel his monologue. A giant monster holding a sign above Kermit that says "not funny" enters.
	August 21, 1985
Miss Piggy comments to Kermit that it was sweet of Beauregard to push her car down the hill to give it a jump start. She says she'll have to thank him when they get back as the car speeds down the road with Bo hanging on to the rear bumper.
	August 22, 1985
Miss Piggy tells Kermit that she's going to star in a new aerobics show that is sure to be the most popular exercise show of all time. It's called "2 Minute Workout."
	August 23, 1985
Gonzo walks in wearing a dress, tall platform sandals and a large feathered headdress. He asks Kermit "you wanted to see me?" Kermit replies "not like that."
	August 24, 1985
Gonzo is about to do his tight-rope act. He informs Beauregard that there's a frayed spot out on the rope. Bo fixes it with a knot.
	August 25, 1985 (Sunday)
While out on a picnic, Scooter ponders "if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?" Beauregard is overwhelmed by the question and Kermit rushes over to ask "who's the wise guy who asked Bo a philosophical question?"
	August 26, 1985
Kermit asks if you ever have one of those days when you don't know what to do with yourself. Miss Piggy can relate as she sits in her dressing room with a giant fluffy afro and a bottle of "Super-Perm."
	August 27, 1985
Dr. Bob looks out the window and comments that he can't work inside today, it's so nice out. Nurse Janice reminds him that he has three operations scheduled. He decides to perform the surgeries outside.
	August 28, 1985
Kermit, Rowlf, Fozzie and Gonzo hide when Miss Piggy comes with the reviews for her new record. She tells them that they can come out, the reviews are good.
	August 29, 1985
Kermit comments on Dr. Bob's tacky golf outfit, saying "sometimes I think you dress like that just to distract me."
	August 30, 1985
Statler tells Waldorf that he feels old. He went to an antique store this morning and the dealer stuck a price tag on him.
	August 31, 1985
Robin's kite is stuck in a tree. He asks Beauregard to help him get it down. Bo pulls the whole tree over.
	September 1, 1985 (Sunday)
Beauregard and Dr. Bob collide as they rush to Miss Piggy's dressing room. Dr. Bob was called for a medical emergency. Bo was called to repair the wall. It turns out Kermit was thrown through the wall by Piggy.
	September 2, 1985
Kermit and Miss Piggy watch Gonzo windsurfing on the beach.
	September 3, 1985
Fozzie asks a monster if the seat next to him is taken. He replies "obviously" as he looks at a large hole in the ground with no chair next to him.
	September 4, 1985
Fozzie asks Gonzo what he's reading. He's reading "USA Tomorrow," a newspaper for psychics.
	September 5, 1985
Gonzo points his camera at Kermit and asks him to say "cheese." The camera pops out a slice of Swiss.
	September 6, 1985
A beautiful woman is nervous about auditioning for Kermit. It's not her first audition but an angry Miss Piggy looking on is making her apprehensive.
	September 7, 1985
Fozzie irons Gonzo's tuxedo tails while he's still wearing the tux.
	September 8, 1985 (Sunday)
Fozzie practices his fly-fishing on the roof.
	September 9, 1985
Miss Piggy is enamored by the tune coming from Rowlf's piano. She asks what the song is called. Rowlf responds while holding a feather duster, "Dusting the Keys."
	September 10, 1985
Robin is doing his homework. Kermit tells Robin that just because he runs the theater, it doesn't mean Robin can take advantage of the performers. Robin protests that he "can't study without music". Meanwhile Janice, Animal, Zoot and Floyd of the Electric Mayhem jam in his bedroom.
	September 11, 1985
Kermit tells Fozzie that if they're going to a fancy restaurant, he can't go dressed like that. Fozzie changes his spotted bowtie for a black one.
	September 12, 1985
Kermit and Piggy go to "Lover's Leap" where multiple couples are jumping together.
	September 13, 1985
Statler returns from the hardware store. He's raked leaves for the last time. Waldorf asks if he bought a leaf blower. He didn't, Statler bought a chainsaw.
	September 14, 1985
Beauregard tells Robin that he learned to be a carpenter when he was his age from his uncle. Robin asks if he could learn too. Bo asks Robin if he knows his uncle.
	September 15, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit thinks it's great that Robin has taken up painting. He says "you should never be afraid to expand your horizons." Robin takes this literally and expands the horizon of his painting off the canvas and onto the wall.
	September 16, 1985
Kermit tells Fozzie he went "skinny-dipping" as a kid. Fozzie said he always called swimming without any clothes on "fat-dipping."
	September 17, 1985
Miss Piggy smothers Kermit with hugs and kisses while he's trying to rehearse a scene with Fozzie. Kermit asks her to stop saying "there's a time and place for everything." She whispers something in his ear and leaves. When asked by Fozzie what she said, Kermit reveals "7:30, her place."
	September 18, 1985
Kermit asks Fozzie how his day in court went. Fozzie's lawyer botched his case and he didn't get a dime. Kermit says that's "Murphy's Law." Fozzie remarks that he got "Murphy's Lawyer, too."
	September 19, 1985
Kermit introduces the next act where "the Great Gonzo will jump through a flaming ring of fire." He asks for "a rousing round of applause for the incredible crazy man... his assistant" (Beauregard who is holding the flaming ring with his bare hand).
	September 20, 1985
The washing machine is making strange noises as it runs without any water. Kermit asks Gonzo why he's doing his laundry with no water. Gonzo says it's his dry cleaning. Gonzo is shown reading a copy of USA Last Week newspaper.
	September 21, 1985
Gonzo and Camilla come back from the movie theater. Fozzie asks how "Mad Max" was. Gonzo says they watched "Irritated Irving" instead, noting the seats for "Mad Max" were too expensive.
	September 22, 1985 (Sunday)
Fozzie takes Kermit to the movies. He says it's his absolute favorite movie of the year. Fozzie remarks on the incredible acting, great story, beautiful cinematography, and predicts it'll run away with the Oscars. Fozzie is sure it'll be a real blockbuster, but as the two sit alone in a completely empty theater, Fozzie admits "then again, everybody's tastes are different."
	September 23, 1985
Kermit asks Beauregard if he's going to a party. Bo says it's a real fancy one, the invitation says "neat dress required." He stands there wearing a neat flowered dress.
	September 24, 1985
Kermit asks at the Jewelry store if Miss Piggy was in there earlier. He describes her to the clerk as a blonde wearing pearls and satin gloves. The clerk says they had a pig in there earlier but she isn't sure it was Piggy. Kermit asks if she bought anything. The clerk says "no," causing Kermit to conclude "it wasn't her."
	September 25, 1985
Fozzie is babysitting Robin. Robin is in his pajamas holding a fur stole and crying. Fozzie tries to calm him by saying Kermit and Piggy were in a hurry and probably got mixed up. He calls the restaurant where the waiter brings a phone to the table to ask Piggy "if that's a 'blue blanket' stole you are wearing, I have a call for you."
	September 26, 1985
Kermit and Fozzie are at the gym. Kermit says it's much easier exercising with a friend as the two lift a barbell together.
	September 27, 1985
Kermit asks Fozzie if he's ready to have his publicity picture taken. Fozzie can't decide which is his best side. Photographer Zoot takes a picture of his backside.
	September 28, 1985
Gonzo tells Fozzie that last night he woke up and there were 2,000 roaches dancing in his kitchen. Fozzie asks what he did. Gonzo, holding a large stack of money, says "I made each of them pay a two-dollar cover charge."
	September 29, 1985 (Sunday)
A giant number 2 dances on stage while performing "Singin' in the Rain." Miss Piggy asks who that is. Kermit replies "our 'song and dance' number."
	September 30, 1985
Kermit chases after Robin as he flies away holding onto a leaf blower, telling him that he told him that he's too small to be using the blower.
	October 1, 1985
Miss Piggy is enamored that the auditorium is all aglow. The audience is standing, holding matches and lighters. Rowlf says it means the fuse blew out for the exit lights.
	October 2, 1985
While driving down the road, Beauregard passes a sign that says "Smile! You may be on radar." Bo continues driving with a big grin on his face.
	October 3, 1985
Kermit tells Fozzie that Beauregard did a great job on the prop for the "Sword in the Stone" skit. Miss Piggy is shocked thinking somebody killed a rock.
	October 4, 1985
Fozzie is juggling potatoes. Kermit asks how long he's been doing that. Fozzie, with scorched hands, says "ever since I started bringing hot baked potatoes back for lunch."
	October 5, 1985
The Great Gonzo Mystic gazes into his crystal ball with Fozzie Bear. The ball sees all. The ball knows all. The ball has cable.
	October 6, 1985 (Sunday)
Fozzie passes a scale with a sign that says "Don't step on this scale." He steps on and is flung into the air. The sign changes to say "We told you so."
	October 7, 1985
Kermit and Fozzie wait at a bus stop to head out on vacation. Fozzie says they need this vacation as a chance to unwind. They sit with their bodies and limbs all twisted up.
	October 8, 1985
Kermit and Fozzie arrive at their vacation cottage. Kermit says he hates renting sight unseen. The ad said it was "just a short distance from the beach." The two stand on the beach looking out to the cottage floating a short distance out from shore.
	October 9, 1985
Inside their vacation cottage, Kermit informs Fozzie that the lease says "Plenty of running water, O.I.I.R." Kermit clarifies that means "only if it rains" as water drips through the ceiling.
	October 10, 1985
Kermit asks Fozzie why there is a sofa in their fishing boat. Fozzie says it's his "casting couch."
	October 11, 1985
While relaxing on the beach, Kermit says "this is the life! No phone, no theater, no nothing." Just then a seashell rings. Fozzie picks it up and hands it to Kermit saying "It's for you."
	October 12, 1985
Kermit tells Fozzie he doesn't mind taking a vacation during the off-season. As they sit on a beach surrounded by snow and penguins, Kermit clarifies "but not this much off-season."
	October 13, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit asks Robin if he knows why a stone thrown in a pond creates ripples in a series of concentric circles. Robin says it's so you have a target for when you throw the next one.
	October 14, 1985
Miss Piggy tells Kermit all her fame, fortune, beauty and success wouldn't mean anything if she didn't have him... to show it all off to.
	October 15, 1985
Floyd tells Zoot that this sax was "cookin' up some tasty tunes." Animal takes a bite of Zoot's sax.
	October 16, 1985
Kermit gives Miss Piggy a bouquet of long-stemmed roses. The stems are so long they drag across the floor.
	October 17, 1985
Miss Piggy holds up two dresses (a white one and a striped one) and asks Beauregard which dress looks best on her. He picks the black one — as it's the only one she's actually wearing.
	October 18, 1985
Dr. Bob informs Kermit that Miss Piggy hurt her back warming up for the show. She was practicing her curtsies.
	October 19, 1985
Kermit and Fozzie are looking at a bowl of goldfish. Kermit states that Dr. Bob says watching fish can relax you after a long day. Fozzie can't relax because one of the fish keeps sticking its tongue out at him.
	October 20, 1985 (Sunday)
Rowlf watches the Muppetville baseball game on TV. After his team suffers an emotional and crushing loss in the final game of the season, Rowlf says he's glad football season is starting soon.
	October 21, 1985
Fozzie tells Kermit that he heard he's angry with Gonzo. Kermit says "You bet! He's in my dog house!" A grumpy Gonzo is shown in a literal dog house next to Kermit's desk.
	October 22, 1985
Dr. Bob and Kermit are at the golf course. They dig through a pile of leaves looking for a lost ball. Dr. Bob is upset that he can't find his ball with "all these darn leaves on the course." The ball is stuck in the nearby tree.
	October 23, 1985
Miss Piggy drones on about how her agent Sid got her two weeks at the Sand in Las Vegas. Kermit is bored — tossing a paper airplane, balancing a spoon on his nose and a stack of teacups on his toes, and building a house of cards.
	October 24, 1985
While in a psychiatry session with Dr. Bob, Kermit expresses that he feels he doesn't have any privacy. Miss Piggy interrupts to ask what he means by that.
	October 25, 1985
Fozzie and Kermit are paddling in a boat. Kermit tells Fozzie to slow down for a "school zone." A fish dressed as a crossing guard lets a group of fish pass in front of them.
	October 26, 1985
Kermit is out in a new town with Miss Piggy. He asks a man on the street to recommend a nice little restaurant. He points to a literal little restaurant on the corner.
	October 27, 1985 (Sunday)
Beauregard watches the laundry spinning in the washer. When Kermit tells him there's a phone call for him upstairs, Bo dizzily tries to go upstairs but can't walk in a straight line.
	October 28, 1985
In a reenactment of "The Wizard of Oz," Gonzo plays Glinda with Miss Piggy as Dorothy. Glinda asks Dorothy if she's a good witch or a bad witch. Dorothy says she's not a witch at all "witches are ugly and weird." The Munchkins giggle because Glinda is a witch. Dorothy says she rests her case.
	October 29, 1985
In a continuation of "The Wizard of Oz" play, Piggy asks Glinda-Gonzo what kind of place is this — no phones, no taxis, no restaurants, no jacuzzis. She laments to her dog, "Foo-Foo, I have a feeling we're not in Hollywood anymore."
	October 30, 1985
Miss Piggy continues in her role as Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz" play, "Glinda-Gonzo" tells Dorothy that her house landed on the Wicked Witch of the East, now there's only one person she needs to worry about — her attorney. Just then a grumpy man in a suit with a briefcase appears.
	October 31, 1985
Miss Piggy sings "Follow the Yellow Brick Road" from "The Wizard of Oz" as she skips down the road with Foo-Foo. She gets stuck behind a line of people stretching all the way to Oz, she concludes "must be the rush hour."
	November 1, 1985
In "The Wizard of Oz" play, Miss Piggy (as Dorothy with Foo-Foo as Toto) searches her basket and begins to panic. Kermit (as the Scarecrow) asks what's the matter. She rushes off, exclaiming that she lost her traveler's checks.
	November 2, 1985
"The Wizard of Oz" play concludes. Glinda (Gonzo) gives Dorothy (Miss Piggy) the ruby slippers. Dorothy asks if the shows will get her out of Oz. Glinda says, "no, for that you'll have to talk with your agent."
	November 3, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit and Miss Piggy stop in a store to pick up a few things. Piggy goes to grab some bath oil and asks Kermit to pick up her shampoo — the one "for long-flowing golden tresses that gleam in the sun like cascading stands of corn silk."
	November 4, 1985
Miss Piggy asks Beauregard if he has any goals. Bo says he does and points to his collection of hockey goals.
	November 5, 1985
Rowlf is cutting down a tree in his yard with a chain saw. Kermit asks if he's stocking up on firewood. Rowlf says "no, I just hate to rake."
	November 6, 1985
Beauregard is fishing and hasn't caught anything. Fozzie asks what kind of bait he's using. Bo asks "what's bait?"
	November 7, 1985
Fozzie responds to a letter from Ralph asking what to do — he's in love with a girl and sends her flowers everyday but all his friends say she's a fake. Fozzie writes back, "send her fake flowers."
	November 8, 1985
Fozzie receives a letter from his "#1 fan" asking him to sign the enclosed card and return it in the envelope provided. It's a birthday card. He writes "Dear Mom sorry about forgetting your birthday..."
	November 9, 1985
Fozzie receives a letter from Ed saying that penmanship says a lot about a person. The letter says "a person with poor penmanship lacks confidence and self esteem." Fozzie looks at his pen and then switches to a typewriter to respond with agreement.
	November 10, 1985 (Sunday)
Gonzo is excited that the bookstore called to tell him the book he ordered just came in. As Gonzo runs around with excitement of the news, Kermit asks Fozzie what book he ordered. Fozzie tells him, "Great Expectations."
	November 11, 1985
While dining at a restaurant, Kermit the Frog tells Miss Piggy they need to eat lightly as he doesn't have much money. Piggy asks the waiter for shrimp cocktail, clams Florentine, twice baked potatoes with zucchini and a salad. Kermit asks for his coat.
	November 12, 1985
Robin brings Kermit his slippers and newspaper. Robin takes Kermit's empty cup and then asks his uncle what he thinks he's making for dinner. Kermit guesses "Report Card Surprise."
	November 13, 1985
Beauregard tells Fozzie that he rented a fog machine but they sent the wrong machine. He turns it on and a cloud of frogs shoots out.
	November 14, 1985
Statler is sitting by the window, relaxing in his chair with his eyes closed. Waldorf asks what he's doing. Statler says he's bird watching. Waldorf accuses Statler of just sleeping as he's not even looking at the birds. Statler retorts that he's been bird watching for fifty years, he knows who's out there.
	November 15, 1985
Gonzo tells Dr. Bob that he's been having blackouts. The panel blacks out with the two standing in the dark.
	November 16, 1985
Kermit the Frog asks Fozzie Bear if he's seen Gonzo. Fozzie says he's outside ice skating. Kermit says the pond isn't even frozen yet. The two look out the window and see Gonzo skating on a block of ice.
	November 17, 1985 (Sunday)
An IRS auditor questions whether Miss Piggy's hot tub is a legitimate business expense.
	November 18, 1985
Robin Bleeche from "Life Styles of the Famous and Rich" shows up at Miss Piggy's door with a camera crew, but Piggy is all dolled-up and ready for her close-up.
	November 19, 1985
A sweating Dr. Bob asks Nurse Janice for a wipe while performing surgery. She dabs his forehead with a sponge. After his fifth request, she just straps the sponge to his head.
	November 20, 1985
Robin says his uncle Kermit wants him to clean his room, but he doesn't even know where to start. As he enters his messy room, Robin sees a sign saying "start here" above his messy closet with toys spilling out all over the floor. Amid Robin's many toys, a stuffed Big Bird doll is seen on his bookshelf.
	November 21, 1985
Gonzo takes Fozzie to "the most authentic seafood restaurant in town." He tells him that they even use "real lobster bibs" as the waiter clips a live lobster around Fozzie's neck.
	November 22, 1985
Fozzie tells Dr. Bob that he feels dizzy and everything is jumbled and confusing. Dr. Bob asks "how problem have you long this had?"
	November 23, 1985
Fozzie Bear, holding his teddy bear and dressed in pajamas, laments that he can't fall asleep. Kermit tells him that it's only one in the afternoon. Fozzie is relived, he thought there was something wrong with him.
	November 24, 1985
A pair of leaves shout "Geronimo!" before falling from the tree. Kermit rakes and bags all the leaves in the yard and is thankful when he finishes. After he's done, a final leaf falls from the tree. Kermit yells at it to "get back up there!"
	November 25, 1985
Fozzie is napping on a log. A monarch butterfly lands on his hat. A pair of passersby point and exclaim at the sight of a "lepidoptera monarcha." Fozzie says he's been called worse.
	November 26, 1985
A focused Dr. Bob asks Nurse Janice for a sponge and then for a rinse. They are doing the dishes.
	November 27, 1985
Gonzo invites Kermit in for an early Thanksgiving dinner. Gonzo explains that he's celebrating a day early because his guests are "going to be out of town" tomorrow. Kermit walks to the table to see that all of Gonzo's guests are turkeys.
	November 28, 1985
Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and Robin are eating Thanksgiving dinner. Robin asks his uncle for a postage stamp so he can send his dinner to someone who needs it more than him. Kermit sentimentally reflects that "if the children are our future, then the world is in good hands."
	November 29, 1985
Miss Piggy hopes her pumpkin pie came out alright. She admits she was a bit rushed for time and took some shortcuts. Kermit and Robin look on as she carries in a pie with a full pumpkin atop it.
	November 30, 1985
Dr. Bob tells Kermit that he hardly ever did his homework in school. Kermit says he always had to hand his homework in. Dr. Bob says he did too, but he'd come up with an excuse like "my person ate it."
	December 1, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit meets with a loan officer named Mrs. Buckz who overwhelms him with numbers and offers.
	December 2, 1985
Miss Piggy is asleep in bed. Kermit comes in and wakes Piggy up saying she was supposed to be down at the "Sleeping Beauty" rehearsal an hour ago. Piggy apologizes and says she was researching for the part.
	December 3, 1985
Fozzie Bear pulls up at the gas pump. The pump attendant asks what he would like. Fozzie replies "fame, fortune, praise and admiration." The attendant is confused. Fozzie says he'll settle for "a buck's worth of unleaded."
	December 4, 1985
Dr. Bob and Nurse Janice perform open-heart surgery on an extra-terrestrial having simply replaced the light bulb.
	December 5, 1985
Fozzie hears a knock on the door. The door is suddenly knocked down by a front door replacement salesman.
	December 6, 1985
Beauregard is frustrated as he throws his diary into the trash. Miss Piggy asks why he's throwing away his diary. Bo says it doesn't work — he writes every day "but it never writes back."
	December 7, 1985
Fozzie boards his flight on "Super-Save Express Discount Airline." The boarding agent says a steward will show him to his seat. Fozzie is strapped to the wing of the plane.
	December 8, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit comes running when Gonzo crashes into a brick wall. He's having a bad day practicing his human cannonball act — he aimed too low and loaded himself in backwards.
	December 9, 1985
Miss Piggy tells Kermit that kids are taking "this Rambo thing" too far as Robin and his friend build a Rambo snowman.
	December 10, 1985
Nurse Janice tells Dr. Bob that their patient is having trouble talking. Dr. Bob asks the patient to stick out their tongue. The monster extends a giant tongue that covers Dr. Bob.
	December 11, 1985
Kermit and Miss Piggy comment on Gonzo's desire to be in the new Clint Eastwood movie. Piggy says he went to the studio for a "cattle call." Gonzo is shown sitting in a waiting room full of cows.
	December 12, 1985
Fozzie is looking under the hood of his car. He says his car battery is dead and asks Beauregard to give him a jump. Bo complies and literally jumps up in the air.
	December 13, 1985
Fozzie Bear calls an exterminator because he's having trouble with carpenter ants. The ants are performing carpentry as they build a tiny house.
	December 14, 1985
Beauregard tells Kermit that he broke the lawn mower by running over a tree stump.
	December 15, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit is frustrated that he can't find his paper clips, Beauregard tells him they're in the clothes closet teaching the wire hangers bad habits.
	December 16, 1985
Kermit tells Miss Piggy that he has good news and bad news. The good news is he found someone to star in their Frosty the Snowman skit. As a snowman enters, he reveals the bad news: they're going to have to turn off the heat.
	December 17, 1985
Kermit tells the snowman that he's perfect for the role of Frosty, all he has to do is memorize the lyrics to "Silver Bells," "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," and "Silent Night." The snowman, speaking with a lisp, says "Thure! No thweat!"
	December 18, 1985
Gonzo goes to take a shower. He is shocked that the water is ice cold. Frosty is standing in the shower and apologizes.
	December 19, 1985
Robin questions Frosty as to why they made his eyes out of coal. Frosty asks back "have you checked the price of heating oil lately?"
	December 20, 1985
During rehearsals, Miss Piggy tells Fozzie that Frosty is so eccentric. Fozzie says he wouldn't call him eccentric, maybe just "flaky." Piggy shoves her script into Fozzie's mouth.
	December 21, 1985
Kermit gets a series of knocks on his door. He asks who's there as he opens to a wintery breeze. Frosty is standing there and says "didn't you recognize me."
	December 22, 1985 (Sunday)
Kermit tells Scooter that Miss Piggy has five minutes till curtain. Scooter goes to get Piggy and compliments her hair. She attributes it to her new styling moose. Scooter asks if she means mousse, she affirms she meant moose as a large-antlered moose comes out of her dressing room with hair care products.
	December 23, 1985
Kermit tells the audience that the curtain has fallen on yet another great Muppet musical. The stage curtain has literally fallen on Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear. Kermit says they're going to have to get that fixed.
	December 24, 1985
Fozzie looks out the window and is excited that it's snowing. Turns out it's just Beauregard shaking out his mop in the window above Fozzie.
	December 25, 1985
Kermit the Frog thanks the readers for spending five years with the Muppets in the funnies and wishes them all a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
	December 26, 1985
Miss Piggy shows Kermit and Gonzo her latest book — "Miss Piggy's World of Beauty." Gonzo wants a copy because he loves science fiction.
	December 27, 1985
Beauregard asks Kermit why he needs to use the hand truck to take his nephew to hockey practice. Kermit carts off a heavily padded Robin and explains it's because "Robin's the goalie."
	December 28, 1985
Miss Piggy apologizes to Kermit for taking so long to get ready and hopes they're not too late to the World Series game. Kermit is asleep in his chair, holding the tickets and pennants for the Royals and Cardinals, and covered in cobwebs.
	December 29, 1985 (Sunday)
A large anthropomorphic hand walks by Fozzie, Gonzo and Camilla. Fozzie tells them that's their new "stage hand."
	December 30, 1985
Fozzie asks Kermit where he got his new snow blower. Kermit is using a giant horned monster on a leash to blow the snow from his sidewalk.
	December 31, 1985
Beauregard is taking orders for coffee. Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzie want hot coffee. A snowman wants an ice coffee. Bo questions why it's always "the big star" that has to be "so fussy."
===1986===
	January 1, 1986
Fozzie Bear tells Miss Piggy about how he attended a planetarium show about punctuation called "Halley's Comma."
	January 2, 1986
Beauregard, Rowlf the Dog, Gonzo, Fozzie Bear, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy form a totem pole of Muppets atop a mountain to get a better view of Halley's Comet.
	January 3, 1986
Robin tells his friend Porky that his birthday must be coming up because his Uncle Kermit has started locking the closets again.
	January 4, 1986
Fozzie Bear comments to Kermit that "the last of the real cowboys" just passed by. Kermit looks up from his paper to see a creature with the head of a man and the body of a cow.
	January 5, 1986 (Sunday)
Beauregard throws trash out in the alley, dumping it in a trash can that turns out to belong to Oscar the Grouch, making a cameo.
	January 6, 1986
At a diner, Fozzie Bear asks the waitress if she stopped serving breakfast. After placing an order for "two eggs over medium, home-fries, a corn muffin, coffee and a large orange juice," she informs him she just stopped serving breakfast.
	January 7, 1986
Miss Piggy points out that Beauregard has his skis on backwards. Bo comments that it explains why he keeps going up hill.
	January 8, 1986
Fozzie Bear takes going to jail literally while playing Monopoly with Kermit and Dr. Bob.
	January 9, 1986
Kermit introduces that, in a salute to Halley's Comet, the Great Gonzo is going to launch himself into the heavens via cannon. Statler and Waldorf hope he won't be back for another 75 years either.
	January 10, 1986
Beauregard tells Kermit that "Gonzo is in the paper today." Gonzo pops out of Bo's rolled up newspaper.
	January 11, 1986
Fozzie Bear calls Dr. Bob's answer machine.
	January 12, 1986 (Sunday)
Kermit helps Beauregard install a new antenna on the theater roof. Bo falls off the roof and Kermit grabs him. As Kermit struggles to keep ahold of Bo, he remarks "it's so hard holding on to good help nowadays."
	January 13, 1986
Kermit comments on Miss Piggy's strange new hood ornament. It's a globe because she gets lost a lot.
	January 14, 1986
While burred in snow in an avalanche area, Kermit tells Fozzie he made just one New Year's resolution — to "never go skiing with Fozzie again."
	January 15, 1986
Miss Piggy doesn't understand why Kermit watches hockey. She remarks it's such a violent game and the television bounces around with slams and whaps.
	January 16, 1986
Fozzie is sitting down to breakfast with a box of Snaps and a carton of milk. He doesn't like the sounds coming out of the bowl as it snaps, crackles, pops and fizzes. Kermit asks what kind of cereal does that. Fozzie says it's just milk.
	January 17, 1986
Statler shows Waldorf his trophy room. It includes just one award — "Optimist of the Year-1921."
	January 18, 1986
Miss Piggy doesn't understand why Kermit says they're not going out tonight as he shows her his outturned pockets, an empty petty cash box, a trashed checkbook, a smashed piggybank, and an empty cookie jar.
	January 19, 1986 (Sunday)
Kermit tells the audience that it's a new year when Gonzo, Fozzie Bear and Beauregard arrive with an ostrich dressed as the Three Wise Men. Kermit tells them that Christmas was five weeks ago, they say the camel rental place was closed so they had to settle for an ostrich and they couldn't find any frankincense so they got frankfurters. The trio wish everyone a merry Christmas as Kermit laments "maybe we'll get it together for 1987."
	January 20, 1986
Fozzie Bear uses a chainsaw to cut a tree. As he finishes his cut, the bottom part falls into the ground while the top part remains floating.
	January 21, 1986
Miss Piggy tells Kermit that everybody at the theater has a little star on their door. She had Beauregard paint a large one that fills the door and the wall.
	January 22, 1986
Kermit asks the Swedish Chef if his chili is ready. The pot explodes and the chef remarks: "Êrst röardy."
	January 23, 1986
Statler and Waldorf are mad when they arrive at the Muppet Theater during a blizzard to find out that it's "closed due to bad weather."
	January 24, 1986
Miss Piggy offers to tuck Robin in and sing him a lullaby. After tightly swaddling Robin, she begins her song.
	January 25, 1986
Fozzie complains to Beauregard that no matter how careful he is when doing his laundry, there's always one missing sock. An angry Bo goes to confront the monster living in the washer to give the sock back.
	January 26, 1986 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy goes skiing and is passed by a bunch of youth.
	January 27, 1986
While walking in deep snow, Kermit asks Beauregard if he knows a good place to find flowers this time of year. Bo digs in the snow and pulls up a handful of flowers, asking "how many do you want?"
	January 28, 1986
Kermit announces that "a gray 1958 grouchmobile has its lights on." Statler and Waldorf, sitting in a car crashed through the theater wall, say they know.
	January 29, 1986
Miss Piggy gives Rowlf the Dog a neck cask. It's from a famous French designer — Yves St. Bernard.
	January 30, 1986
Kermit the Frog congratulates Miss Piggy, Gonzo and Fozzie Bear on a perfect rehearsal as they exit the stage. Suddenly he's awoken by his alarm clock. He's in bed and remarks "I can dream, can't I?"
	January 31, 1986
Kermit and Robin are shopping at Toys 'R' Stuff. Kermit doesn't understand why Robin wants to buy an empty package. Robin explains it contains the action figure of "Airman: Guardian of the Invisible Realm."
	February 1, 1986
Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear are standing on stage. Kermit says it's time to lower the footlights. The spotlight moves down to illuminate their feet.
	February 2, 1986 (Sunday)
Kermit the Frog climbs a mountain to find a drinking fountain at the top.
	February 3, 1986
Kermit questions why Fozzie picked the coldest day of the year to have his car washed as Fozzie's car comes out of the car wash in a giant block of ice.
	February 4, 1986
Robin passes a sign saying "look all ways before crossing." He looks right, left and up.
	February 5, 1986
Miss Piggy tells Kermit that the store they're in might not be the best to do business with. Kermit remarks that "at least they're honest about their service" while Fozzie stands at the counter of the "Complaint Department."
	February 6, 1986
Kermit the Frog has been waiting outside the stage door for Fozzie since the show ended. When Fozzie emerges from the theater, Kermit asks where he's been. Fozzie says he was signing a few autographs. Kermit annoyedly asks "for two hours?!" Fozzie says that it took a while to find people willing to take them.
	February 7, 1986
Fozzie Bear and Gonzo visit Jumbos hot dog cart. Fozzie says they have "the best jumbo hot dogs in town, but the rolls leave a lot to be desired." Fozzie proceeds to walk off with an extremely long hot dog that far exceeds the size of the bun.
	February 8, 1986
Beauregard buys a roundtrip ticket for a merry-go-round.
	February 9, 1986 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy hits a flat note in the recording studio. She blames the acoustics and tells Kermit she sounded wonderful in the shower this morning. Kermit brings in a shower for her to sing in while Rowlf, a trio of crows, and a boom mic operator stand by.
	February 10, 1986
Kermit tells a man that they'd like to use his dog on the show. He asks what kind of tricks the dog does. The man, holding an enormous chain leash, says "whatever he wants."
	February 11, 1986
Miss Piggy comments that it's odd how the martial arts are creeping into everything. Kermit the Frog agrees as the two pass a puppet stage performing a "Punch & Judo Show."
	February 12, 1986
Waldorf is thrilled that the theater finally installed a new curtain. Statler wonders what's so great about a new curtain. Waldorf tells him that it doesn't open.
	February 13, 1986
On a snowy day, Beauregard walks by a snake shivering on a park bench. He places one of his mittens on the snake's tail and he stops shivering.
	February 14, 1986
Miss Piggy excitedly tells Kermit that her new movie is going to be a smash. She has "the best director, a great script and a wonderful score," she asks "what else could I ask for?" She angrily whips around to exclaim "who said 'acting lessons'?!" As Fozzie Bear, Rowlf the Dog, and Gonzo coyly look off while whistling nonchalantly with halos above their heads.
	February 15, 1986
Fozzie Bear and Gonzo return from a sushi bar. Kermit questions if sushi is raw fish. Gonzo tells Kermit that it was a little too raw for his taste. Fozzie says he brought his home and holds up a bag of water with two live fish swimming in it.
	February 16, 1986 (Sunday)
Kermit the Frog and Rowlf the Dog are on an archeological dig. Kermit finds the bones of the ancient "Muppo-saurus." Kermit excavates the bones and hands them to Rowlf whose "doggie habits" kick in as he buries them elsewhere.
	February 17, 1986
Miss Piggy encounters her old friend Wanda whom she hasn't seen in years. Piggy says that Wanda looks fabulous and asks how she's managed to stay so thin. The slender Wanda is standing next to a very portly man outside an "All You Can Eat Restaurant."
	February 18, 1986
Kermit the Frog has heard the news that Rowlf the Dog is playing Carnegie Hall. It turns out that Rowlf is merely playing cards against an individual with that same name.
	February 19, 1986
Beauregard is building a snowman in a windy snowstorm. Kermit asks how he keeps the hat on with all the wind. Bo shows Kermit that he made the snowman's head shaped like the top hat.
	February 20, 1986
Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy are dining at a Chinese restaurant. Piggy opens her fortune cookie to find a large fortune written by an aspiring playwright trying to sell their script.
	February 21, 1986
Kermit is reading Variety. Floyd comes in to ask Kermit if he can do him a favor and walk Animal for him today. Floyd says Animal's a little feisty today, as a crazed Animal tugs on the leash and flies through the air.
	February 22, 1986
While rushing through the airport, Gonzo tells Fozzie that they're lucky to get two tickets to Alaska this time of year. They reach the gate to find a line of snowmen boarding the "Frosty Express" flight to Alaska. Gonzo says "apparently the flights are booked solid."
	February 23, 1986 (Sunday)
Gonzo and Beauregard ride the elevator like an amusement park ride, much to the dismay of the elevator operator.
	February 24, 1986
Fozzie Bear approaches a quick checkout with an armload of groceries. The cashier asks if she can help him. Looking at a large monster carrying a club standing behind him, Fozzie nervously declines saying "I believe this nice gentleman was first."
	February 25, 1986
Kermit questions why Miss Piggy insists on everything she owns having to be the best and biggest. Piggy wonders if this has something to do with her new gigantic salt and peppershakers.
	February 26, 1986
Kermit asks their insurance agent if they're covered for a recent accident. The agent asks what the cause of the accident was. Kermit says "over-zealous cleaning lady" as the two look at Fozzie stuck in the cleaning lady's vacuum cleaner.
	February 27, 1986
Fozzie Bear opens the box of a new diet kit that claims to help you "lose 30 pounds in 30 days." It's a bag that ties over his head and prevents him from eating.
	February 28, 1986
Kermit the Frog asks Beauregard if it's true that his father invented unleaded gasoline. Bo says it is true — one day a guy pulled into his dad's gas station and said "give me five bucks worth of regular and get the lead out," so he did.
	March 1, 1986
A worried Gonzo asks Dr. Bob if he needs eyeglasses. Dr. Bob tells Gonzo, who was talking to a plant, yes.
	March 2, 1986 (Sunday)
Kermit leaves the office to go cross-country skiing. Fozzie rushes to join and slips on a banana peel. Fozzie is unsure if he should join given how clumsy he is. Kermit reassures him that it will be fine. While on the trail with his skis on, Fozzie slips on another banana peel. 
Note: At the start of the strip, Kermit says it feels like he's been doing paperwork for "what seems like the 1,876th Sunday". This would put the start of his toiling at Sunday, March 19, 1950.
	March 3, 1986
While fishing, Fozzie asks Kermit if he's ever seen the movie Splash. Kermit says he caught the tail end of it, as Fozzie reveals his line has caught the tail fin of a mermaid.
	March 4, 1986
Miss Piggy asks Kermit why Beauregard is dressed oddly today. He's wearing a swimsuit with an animal-shaped swim ring. Kermit reveals it's Bo's first day in the car pool.
	March 5, 1986
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear are taking inventory of the theater. They check off two "grouchy old geezers." Waldorf comments to Statler (tagged and labeled as "G.O.G. #1" and "G.O.G. #2") that they've been around so long they made it on the inventory list.
	March 6, 1986
Kermit the Frog is flooding his house with a hose. The room is filled with potted cattails and bugs. He tells Miss Piggy that he's preparing to host his annual family reunion.
	March 7, 1986
Psychiatrist Dr. Bob tells Fozzie that his problem is centered around a low self-image. He asks if Fozzie ever talks to himself. Fozzie says he does, but it isn't very interesting to listen to.
	March 8, 1986
Waldorf states that he's going to buy a new car. Statler is dismissive, saying that Waldorf has been saying that for years. Waldorf says he finally made up his mind on what to get. Holding a brochure on the 1938 Nash, Waldorf reveals he's settled on a Nash.
	March 9, 1986 (Sunday)
Fozzie isn't fearful about performing his comedy act tonight because there is a new law that prohibits the throwing of vegetables at comedians. As he starts his act, a loud series of "bonks" come from the stage. Kermit wonders if the new law applied to canned goods.
	March 10, 1986
Kermit the Frog asks Miss Piggy if she's even seen the movie about Quasimodo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. She says she hasn't but the name rings a bell.
	March 11, 1986
While walking in the snow, Kermit says this should be the last of the snow for the year and they'll see all that nice green grass soon. Beauregard, pushing a lawn mower through the snow, says it'll be nice to see what he's cutting.
	March 12, 1986
Statler asks Waldorf if he thinks they're spending too much time at the theater. Waldorf doesn't think so as a mailman delivers a letter to a mailbox installed at their theater box.
	March 13, 1986
Miss Piggy tells Kermit that she's trying hard to be domestic and save money by making dinners at home. However she says she's frustrated at all the money she's spending on Chinaware as she throws the dirty dishes in the trash.
	March 14, 1986
The lightbulb in Kermit's lamp blew out and he's not sure where to get a new bulb. Suddenly he has an idea and plunks the bulb from his thought bubble for the lamp.
	March 15, 1986
Beauregard goes to the bank. The teller says she just opened up her station and asks Bo if he has a pencil. He hands her one. The point snaps and she exclaims "rats." Bo hands her two rats.
	March 16, 1986 (Sunday)
Fozzie wears a bunny suit when he goes skiing so he can use the "Bunny Slop."
	March 17, 1986
Miss Piggy tells Kermit that she's learned money can't buy health, love or happiness... but it can buy clothes. Meanwhile Beauregard rolls another rack of clothes into her giant closet.
	March 18, 1986
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear are sitting high in the branches of a tree. Kermit asks Fozzie if he's sure they're safe up there. Fozzie reassures him that crocodiles can't climb trees. An angry croc stands at the bottom of the tree with a chainsaw as Kermit says he has a bad feeling about this.
	March 19, 1986
Kermit tells Miss Piggy that with the "air fare wars" going on, everybody is taking advantage of the cheap ticket prices. Piggy agrees as they stand behind a line of birds boarding their plane.
	March 20, 1986
Kermit is alarmed that smoke is coming from Miss Piggy's purse. He tells her that her handbag's on fire! She calmly says that she just got back from shopping and her credit cards are still smoking.
	March 21, 1986
Fozzie sees a mother sitting on a bench with her baby on her lap. She asks if "Poopsie want her ba-ba" and the baby replies "ba ba!" Fozzie says he loves street performers and ventriloquists are his favorite.
	March 22, 1986
Kermit remarks at the aroma of the theater and asks if it's a new "outdoor fresh pine air freshener." Beauregard, holding an ax and standing next to a pine tree that's crashed through the theater wall, says it's just a tree.
	March 23, 1986 (Sunday)
Kermit and Piggy see a turtle with a sun-roof.
	March 24, 1986
Fozzie remarks that Miss Piggy's really getting caught up in her act. Piggy is all tangled up in the microphone cord. Kermit concludes he's going to have to buy her a wireless mic.
	March 25, 1986
Kermit asks Fozzie how his field trip to the cannery went. Fozzie places a can on Kermit's desk and says it went pretty good. Kermit says he thought Gonzo went with Fozzie and asks where Gonzo is. A voice comes from the can on his desk saying "it's a long story..."
	March 26, 1986
Kermit and Fozzie are sitting on the beach. Two dice walk up and ask for directions to the casino. Fozzie says it reminds him that he should finish reading his book, "Pair-A-Dice Lost."
	March 27, 1986
Dr. Bob is having a lousy day golfing. He asks Fozzie if he can borrow one of his clubs. Fozzie lends him a club and Dr. Bob angrily smashes it on a rock out of frustration.
	March 28, 1986
Kermit is watching a documentary on "Nepotism in the TV Industry." Piggy suggests that they watch something more entertaining like Family Ties, All in the Family, or The In-Laws.
	March 29, 1986
The captain of Kermit and Miss Piggy's flight has some good news and bad news. The good news is they have just flown safely through the Bermuda Triangle. The bad news is their plane has gone missing while they continue to propel forward.
	March 30, 1986 (Sunday)
Kermit and Miss Piggy attend a party at Fozzie's "humble abode." Piggy inspects Fozzie's eclectic record collection which includes "Connie Francis Sings Songs from Italy," "The Beach Boys 12 Record Set," "The Complete Burl Ives," "Dean Martin," "Creedence Clearwater Revival," "Teresa Brewer," "Slim Whitman," "Liberace," "Roger Whitaker," and "Box Car Willie." Fozzie says he's a sucker for television advertising.
	March 31, 1986
Kermit reads Robin a portion of "Peter Pan" as a bedtime story. After reading the part where Wendy sews Peter's shadow back on with a needle and thread, Kermit says "back then they didn't have Velcro."
	April 1, 1986
Miss Piggy buys Robin some new Space Blaster "dolls" which he insists are called "action figures" because "boy frogs don't play with dolls."
	April 2, 1986
Kermit's fruitcake is missing, Robin took it to play the sinking of Atlantis in the bathtub.
	April 3, 1986
Fozzie is shocked when his box of Sugar Ships cereal collapses. He then notices the box says "some settling of product may occur."
	April 4, 1986
Kermit interviews a rabbit but is unsure if he can hire the rabbit because his police record shows that he was "thrown out of a bar for creating a nuisance." The rabbit explains that it was a salad bar. The bunny's name of Peter could be a reference to either Peter Rabbit or Peter Cottontail.
	April 5, 1986
Statler and Waldorf have buckets of water. When Fozzie comes on stage, they're going to start a new version of "the wave."
	April 6, 1986 (Sunday)
Kermit tells Miss Piggy to make herself beautiful because he's going to take her someplace special. When he arrives to pick her up in bowling attire, she knocks him down the stairs.
	April 7, 1986
Miss Piggy is collecting money on behalf of G.L.A.D. — Get Lady Liberty A New Dress." She points to a poster for the Statue of Liberty Restoration Project as she asks Kermit for money.
	April 8, 1986
Gonzo runs head first into a brick wall. Kermit asks what he's doing. Gonzo explains he's preparing for his income tax audit.
	April 9, 1986
Fozzie notices the audience rising to their feet, lifting their hands and carrying buckets of water — he runs as "the wave" overcomes the stage.
	April 10, 1986
Kermit and Robin are touring a museum. They see a bust of Copernicus, the father of astronomy. They then see busts of the fathers of stereo sound — "Hius and Fius."
	April 11, 1986
Fozzie Bear tells Dr. Bob that he feels listless. When asked to list his symptoms Fozzie says he lost the list.
	April 12, 1986
The lighting man is sick, so Kermit has Statler and Waldorf run the spotlight. They turn off the lights when Fozzie Bear takes the stage.
	April 13, 1986 (Sunday)
Two big bodyguards follow Miss Piggy on her date with Kermit. When the clink of their drinking glasses after Kermit's toast sounds like a bell, the two ex-wrestlers begin to brawl.
	April 14, 1986
While shivering outside their car, Kermit tells Miss Piggy that he shouldn't have fallen asleep while she was driving. He says he doesn't think they're in Miami Beach. While surrounded by penguins, Piggy says "maybe they're on vacation too."
	April 15, 1986
When Kermit orders a sandwich and a milkshake from Beauregard, Bo begins to shake a cow.
	April 16, 1986
Miss Piggy asks Kermit if he found the review of last night's show in the newspaper. He did — it was in the "help wanted" section.
	April 17, 1986
Fozzie is watching television, the announcer says "'Masters and Monsters' will return after this message... don't go away." As he goes to walk away from the TV set, a monster reaches out of the screen and reminds him "the man said 'don't go away!'"
	April 18, 1986
While at the beach, Gonzo tells Miss Piggy that he can hear the sound of the ocean in a seashell. When Piggy tries, she doesn't hear anything. Gonzo says he'll turn up the volume.
	April 19, 1986
Gonzo's room is full of grass and flowers growing from the floor. Miss Piggy asks how he came up with such a "unique concept." Gonzo says his vacuum broke.
	April 20, 1986 (Sunday)
While playing golf with Kermit, Rowlf is taking too long with a simple putt. Kermit gets angry and yells at him, breaking his concentration and prolonging the whole process.
	April 21, 1986
Miss Piggy begs Kermit to let her play the piano on the show because she's been practicing at home for three months. Kermit agrees and introduces Miss Piggy playing "Red River Valley." As she takes the stage, Piggy is confused that the keys on the piano aren't colored.
	April 22, 1986
Kermit strums his banjo and sings a song under a tree about the passing of time and the haunting reality of the Patriots losing to the Bears.
	April 23, 1986
Miss Piggy is excited to rehearse the big kissing scene so Kermit puts on his "stunt lips."
	April 24, 1986
Gonzo is loaded into a canon pointed towards the starry sky through a hole in the ceiling, Kermit tells him that "blasting yourself into outer space may be a source of excitement and thrills for you, but I hardly think sales of 'Gonzo Rides the Comet' T-shirts are going to pay for that hole in my roof."
	April 25, 1986
Beauregard is walking on his hands. Kermit asks him if he'd like to do that on the show. Bo asks "What? Wash the floor and not get any footprints on it?"
	April 26, 1986
Fozzie and Kermit are fishing in their boat the "Goodnight Irene." Fozzie is excited that he finally caught a fish. Kermit congratulates him on finally outsmarting a fish. While pulling up a fish that is just bones, Fozzie says he thinks the fish was just "really, really hungry."
	April 27, 1986 (Sunday)
While Kermit is fixing the intercom in the theater, Robin runs in to tell his uncle that the prop room is on fire.
	April 28, 1986
Kermit asks Fozzie if the acrobats have arrived. Fozzie points to a stack of bags and suitcases stacked artfully like a castell, and says their luggage is here. The bottom suitcase is labeled "The Flying Zucchini Brothers."
	April 29, 1986
Kermit tells Miss Piggy that Fozzie got them show tickets for half price. A giant column obstructs half of their view.
	April 30, 1986
Miss Piggy asks Kermit why Gonzo is so weird. Kermit says "he was raised with a family of rich eccentrics." As Gonzo races by on a unicycle with a spoon hanging from his nose, Piggy says "I guess you could say 'he was born with a silver spoon on his nose.'"
	May 1, 1986
Statler and Waldorf comment on the Muppets' "silly," "juvenile," "ridiculous" and "immature" show. They say they won't watch any more until they see some good adult entertainment. They put their feet up showing off their fuzzy bunny slippers.
	May 2, 1986
Before going out on a date, Kermit gives Miss Piggy a skateboard as a gift. He tells her to hop on because his car's in the shop.
	May 3, 1986
Kermit tells Floyd Pepper that it's probably time for Animal to get a haircut. A long-haired Animal is shown with his hair completely covering his drumset.
	May 4, 1986 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy tells Foo-Foo to play dead. The dog overacts and does a dramatic and violent fake-death performance.
	May 5, 1986
While preparing for a performance of "The Sound of Music," Miss Piggy discusses the titular lyrics with Kermit, before the hills (mountains, really) offer their opinion.
	May 6, 1986
Kermit and Miss Piggy continue with preparations for their "The Sound of Music" performance. Instead of getting seven Austrian children to play the Von Trapp family, Kermit has instead hired the Seven Dwarves (from the Disney film).
	May 7, 1986
Kermit and Miss Piggy perform their tribute to "The Sound of Music." They begin with a performance of the song "So Long, Farewell." Statler and Waldorf, covering their ears and exiting their box, continue the lyrics, saying "Auf wiedersehen! Goodnight."
	May 8, 1986
While driving with Kermit, Fozzie comments on a car with the "baby on board" sign. Suddenly a baby bottle flies in the car window and strikes Fozzie in the head. Kermit says it was nice that the car gave them a fair warning.
	May 9, 1986
Miss Piggy tells her waiter that this is the worst salad she's ever had. The waiter informs her that it is the bush she ran over in the parking lot.
	May 10, 1986
Beauregard walks by the Learning Center which has a sign to "take a free I.Q. test today." He walks in and walks out with a copy of the test.
	May 11, 1986 (Sunday)
Fozzie tries to tell a joke about two hunters but gets booed off the stage by the audience full of disgruntled moose. Fozzie tells Kermit he'll be happy when moose season is over and they start getting a more diversified crowd.
	May 12, 1986
A King Kong-type character carries Miss Piggy to the top of the Empire State Building. She yells at him "What are we doing here, you big lug? I told you 'Saks!' It's on Fifth Avenue!!"
	May 13, 1986
Miss Piggy shows off her new flashy dress to Kermit. It has lots of fashion features but she has trouble walking in it as she falls flat on her face.
	May 14, 1986
A loudmouthed golfer interrupts Dr. Bob and breaks his concentration when he yells "do you mind if I play through??!" during his shot.
	May 15, 1986
Beauregard sees a sign that says "Don't pick the flowers." So he leaves the flowers and picks the tree nearby instead.
	May 16, 1986
In a reference to "Snow White," Miss Piggy asks "Mirror, mirror on the wall.. who's the fairest of them all?" The mirror responds Miss Dipplefern, the mirror's third grade math teacher who always gave him the benefit of the doubt.
	May 17, 1986
Miss Piggy is shopping for corn at Save Lots Super Market when a scarecrow approaches and slyly tells her to not buy that stuff there, "try Farmer Fred's down the street."
	May 18, 1986 (Sunday)
Miss Piggy is setting up for a special occasion. She tells Kermit that she's having her relatives over for dinner. Kermit thought she had them over last night, Piggy says those were her "in-laws." When asked what the difference is between "in-law" and "relative," Piggy says "about eight thousand bucks a year."
	May 19, 1986
Kermit the Frog and Beauregard are walking through a spooky and dangerous-looking forest. Kermit says the woods are frightening at night. Bo reassures him, saying "if anything jumps out at us I'll hit it with this sign." He's holding a sign that says "Danger! Quicksand" as Kermit begins to sink into the ground.
	May 20, 1986
Kermit tells Floyd and Zoot that he hears Miss Piggy's been singing "like a canary." She angrily looks on from inside a large birdcage as Floyd tells Kermit "maybe later we'll let her on the stage."
	May 21, 1986
At bedtime, Kermit reads the poem of "Jack Be Nimble" to Robin. Robin is dissatisfied with the unresolved and blunt ending, stating "I hate cliff-hangers."
	May 22, 1986
While reading a bedtime story to Robin, Kermit tells Miss Piggy that "Father Goose" deserves some credit for working to send Mother Goose through Nursery Rhyme School.
	May 23, 1986
Dressed in western attire and with his banjo, Kermit asks Fozzie if he's ready to practice "The Boll Weevil Song." He asks if they should do the long version or the short version. Fozzie suggests the short version, stating he prefers "the lesser of two weevils."
	May 24, 1986
Fozzie and Gonzo are at the beach. Fozzie asks Gonzo if he's going to join him for a swim. Gonzo points out there's no lifeguard on duty from 12 to 3. Fozzie wonders why because that's the best time to swim. Gonzo says because it's when the sharks feed (as Fozzie is shown splashing in the ocean while surrounded by a swarm of dorsal fins sticking out of the water).
	May 25, 1986 (Sunday)
The final Sunday strip served as a farewell to the series. At his desk, Kermit reminisces about various moments over the years. The Muppets close up the theatre, closing out another production. When Miss Piggy asks what comes next, Kermit says it's time to start planning the next show.
	May 26, 1986
Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzie ride elephants through the desert to an "Elephant Re-Fueling Station" where two men hand out peanuts. Piggy asks Kermit if they should get "salted or unsalted?"
	May 27, 1986
Fozzie goes to knock on the star's dressing room door. A literal star answers the door.
	May 28, 1986
Miss Piggy is in her dressing room and ready to relax. She decides to pause and reflect at the end of a busy day by staring at herself in the mirror.
	May 29, 1986
Fozzie shows Kermit his chic new pet parrot. Kermit asks if it's a nuisance carrying a parrot on his arm. Fozzie says the bird is fine, but the birdseed in his ear is a little annoying.
	May 30, 1986
While heading out on an early morning fishing trip in their boat "The Mary Margaret," Fozzie says the fish aren't even up at this hour. Soon they hear vibrations under the water and then little bursts of water spurt up out of the lake. Kermit says the fish are up and "they're brushing their teeth."
	May 31, 1986
An exhausted Kermit the Frog sits in his office with Miss Piggy and laments, "one of these days I'm just going to quit show biz and head back to the country." Piggy asks if he wants to run that by her again as the two are surrounded by a horse, a cow, a sheep, multiple chickens and Gonzo in a farmer outfit.
===Muppet Magazine===
	Muppet Magazine issue #3 (Summer 1983)
Kermit tells Miss Piggy his secret to being a good Frog-in-Chief for "Muppet Magazine" and making sure his reporters meet their deadlines. He hires Animal as a copy boy to make sure Fozzie keeps writing. The strip appeared in Kermit's opening editorial of the magazine.
	Muppet Magazine issue #4 (Fall 1983)
Kermit asks if everyone enjoyed their trip to the circus for an upcoming story. Miss Piggy, Gonzo and Fozzie all did. Robin shushes an elephant he snuck home from agreeing too. The strip appeared in the "Mondo Muppet" section of the magazine.
	Muppet Magazine issue #5 (Winter 1984)
Kermit says Gonzo is late with his report of the Winter Olympics. Gonzo crashes through the wall in a bobsled apologizing for being stuck in traffic. The strip appeared in the "Mondo Muppet" section of the magazine.
===Alternate strips===
	Originally dated for Sunday, February 07, 1982
The Newsman gives a Muppet News Flash about a band of renegade rats taking over newsrooms. A militant group of rats tie up the Newsman and take over his broadcast. The strip is marked "not used" and the original art was given as a gift by Brad Gilchrist to Patrick Cotnoir in December 2024.Patrick Cotnoir on Instagram. December 18, 2024
	Originally dated for Monday, February 22, 1982
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker are excited about the new cloud-making machine from Muppet Labs. As it dumps rain onto Kermit, he laments "it must be Monday."
	Originally dated for Thursday, November 28, 1985 (Thanksgiving)
At a Chinese restaurant, Miss Piggy reads a fortune cookie that says "it's time to share with those less fortunate than yourself." While Fozzie sits sadly at a nearby table, she tells the waiter to "give the bear my egg roll."
==Collections==
Moving_Right_Along_00_cover.jpg|Moving Right Along!(March 1984)
Light_on_Our_Feet_00_cover.jpg|Light On Our Feet!(July 1984)
Short_Green_and_Handsome_00_cover.jpg|Short, Green and Handsome(July 1984)
Froggy_Mountain_Breakdown_00_cover.jpg|Froggy Mountain Breakdown(September 1985)
Chickens_are_People_Too_00_cover.jpg|Chickens are People, Too!(November 1985)
On_the_Town_00_cover.jpg|On the Town(January 1986)
==Notes==
*In 1983, Enesco released a line of coffee mugs featuring artwork from the comic strip.
*In 1984, President Ronald Reagan and First Lady Nancy Reagan invited Guy to be guest of honor at the "Easter at the White House" celebration. Later that week, Guy’s Muppets artwork was permanently enshrined in the Smithsonian Institute. Guy’s Muppet artwork was chosen to be part of the touring Art of the Muppets exhibit and has appeared in museums worldwide.
*Following the release of The Muppets Take Manhattan, Guy Gilchrist proposed doing a daily Muppet Babies comic strip to Jim Henson.
*Gonzo recommends the book Moving Right Along by Guy and Brad Gilchrist at the end of the 1990 special The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson.
==Spot illustrations==
A gallery of spot illustrations used in the early marketing of the strip.
File:strip spot fozzie ears.jpg
File:strip spot gonzo.jpg
File:strip spot sam.jpg
File:strip spot schef.jpg
File:strip spot scooter.jpg
File:strip spot statwald.jpg
File:strip spot statler waldorf.jpg
File:strip spot rowlf.jpg
File:strip spot swinetrek.jpg
File:Gilchrist kermit piggy.jpg
File:strip spot fozzie.jpg
==Sources==
==External links==
*Tough Pigs: The Early Days of the Muppets Comic Strip
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Category:Muppet Comics