The Vandal

The Vandal is the eleventh episode of SBFW Quest. It aired December 29, 2018, and was written by Purple133.
== Transcript ==
(Episode opens at Sean’s lair in ESB)
Sean: Golf, please come hither.
Golf: Could you stop talking like that? It’s getting kind of creepy man.
Sean: Well the attack on Fanonland will commence in a few weeks. Prepare the armies!
Golf: Sure thing!
(Camera cuts to a hooded vandal ruining the side of the castle; Alt is sleeping and wakes up)
Alt: Hey you! Stop or I’m going to lose my job!
(The hooded man flips Alt the bird)
Alt: Grrrr!
(The man runs, and Alt enters the castle)
Alt: Hey Princess Ponyo, somebody vandalized the page castle!
Princess Ponyo: Wait, who are you?
Alt: The new night guard you hired.
Princess Ponyo: Oh. Well you failed so now you’re fired.
Alt: No this is my only source of income!
Princess Ponyo: Fine. Catch the vandal, and you can stay. Also, I’m pairing you with Bot for MAXIMUM SECURITY.
Bot: Hello, want some illegal crack?
Princess Ponyo: This is the most trustworthy man we have.
Alt: (sarcastically) Yep! Okay!
(Bot and Alt walk outside)
Alt: We should question people to see if they know anything!
Bot: Yes, I have some narcotics to make them say stuff. 
Alt: Are you crazy?!
(Alt and Bot arrive at Purps’ house)
Bot: FBI OPEN UP!
Purps: Shit! They found the child porn I was stashing for Travis!
Alt: Wait what? We came to ask you if you know anything about the vandal.
Purps: Yeah, I saw him run to SuperPulls’ house.
Bot: That’s where FD used to live.
Alt: Then we have a lead!
(Alt and Bot go to SuperPull’s house)
Alt: Hey hey, have you seen FD running around?
SuperPulls: Yeah, I’m pretty sure I saw him in a cloak headed to ESB Land. I hear that the purple trees are beautiful this time of year over there.
Bot: Amazing.
(At the ESB Lair, Sean and Golf are drawing battle plans)
Sean: Thank god our main import is paper!
Golf: What? We were talking about the battle plans and out of nowhere you go, ‘Thank god our main import is paper!’
Sean: Don’t question my logic. Where is FD?
(FDBackup arrives in a black hood, like the man from earlier)
FDBackup: I’m right here. I did the thing, can I get paid now?
Sean: No. Golf, lock him in the dungeon.
FDBackup: You know I’ve never sworn, but you guys are really pushing it.
Golf: Sorry about this.
(FD is carried to the dungeon as Bot and Alt arrive at the door and ring the doorbell)
Bot: Hello? OPEN THE DOOR!
Alt: Calm down Bot! You might piss them off, they already hate our kind.
(Golf opens the door)
Golf: Hey, you guys aren’t supposed to be here!
Bot: Get out of the way we need FD.
Golf: I’d be happy to turn him over to you.
Bot: Yeah, nobody cares what you think just give him to us.
(Golf gets mad)
Golf: That hurt my feelings jerkwad.
Bot: Jokes on you I have no feelings.
Alt: Hey, we came to get FD, where is he?
(Golf runs and a biker gang emerges from an underground garage)
Golf: Now you will take on MY PACK OF VANDALS! Mwuhahahahahahahaha!
(The bikers speed towards Fanonland)
Alt: Bot, activate protec mode!
Bot: No.
(Bot and Alt run to stop the biker gang)
Alt: Hey you stop it!
(One biker flips off Alt)
Alt: Again?!
(The bikes vandalize the walls hardcore)
Bot: No! ACTIVATING LASER BOT.
Alt: Laser bot?
(Bot shoots a laser beam and obliterates the biker gang)
Alt: JESUS CHRIST!
Bot: Hey hey, it’s my final smash. 
(Alt and Bot report back to Princess Ponyo)
Princess Ponyo: So???
Alt: FD vandalized the castle walls and sent a biker gang to try and take them out. Also, we think he was hired by Sean. 
Bot: ‘Tis concerning.
Alt: Since when did you get a conscious? 
Princess Ponyo: Whatever. We will have to declare war upon ESB!
Alt: Hey wait, if we do that we’ll lose!
Princess Ponyo: Well I think that it’s the only option. War it shall be!
(Episode almost ends, but there’s another scene)
Alt: Guys, FD broke out and he’s coming here.
Purps: EVERYONE GET THE FUCK DOWN!
(FD arrives on a motorcycle)
Purps: Wait how do you have a motorcycle in *midevil times*?
FDBackup: No clue, I think this might be a time dump.
Alt: No clue what that is.
FDBackup: Whatever. I’ve come to make a truce with you guys, do you accept?
Purps: Sure.
(Now episode ends)
Jack: I’ve finally made it to Wendy’s! Mom come quick!
(Now episode really truly ends)Category:SBFW Quest
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