Fandom Blows

Fandom Blows is the series finale of The Whatever Show.
==Transcript==
[ACT 1]
(Ally is scrolling through memes on the internet)
Ally: Lmaooo this meme is so funny. You know what would be even funnier? Showing it to FANDOM! I’m a genius!
Ally’s cat: Meow meow meow (NKC HYPE!)
Ally: That’s right, my cat which I conveniently forgot the name of. Now, it’s time to troll the forums.
(Ally digs a little and finds a Fandom blog)
Ally: (rubbing her hands together) Perfect…
(She then starts typing up a storm and presses the enter key so hard she gets carpal tunnel)
Ally: Why is my right hand numb? (shrugs it off) Oh well, it's happened before. Now to wait for a response.
(One hour later…)
Ally: Now it's time to post the latest and greatest NKC episode!
(Ally notices she is blocked from editing on Fandom)
Ally: HOLY SMOKES! I GOT BLOCKED! STUPID ADMINS!
(She then sees her block is for six months)
Ally: SIX MONTHS?! That's like… half a year! Although I do admit this is absolutely hilarious.
(Ally then starts laughing so hard she passes out from lack of oxygen)
Ally: Well, that was fun. I'll just have to wait until my block expires to post the new episode. I wonder what's going to happen in the meantime…
(Cut to her posting her new findings on Discord, and everyone finds it hilarious)
Vanessa: :hahaaaaaaaa:
Cactus: LMFAOOOOO BRUH
CrazySponge: Bro I’m so fucking horny I could fuck a cactus.
Cactus: Excuse me?
(Ally starts laughing even harder, before passing out again) 
(Ally then wakes up and immediately goes on Discord) 
Ally: GUYS I'M UNBLOCKED. NEW EPISODE UP
(The others just stare her down)
Ally: Whaaaaat? (They all start laughing so hard that they pass out from lack of oxygen)
Granite: So, Adolf Hitler, amirite? 
(laugh track)
Ally: I gotta do something to celebrate this occasion. Something like… I got it! Finding Markiplier: The Short! I’m sure I’ll make it before I get unblocked.
(Ally starts working on her new short, but is constantly interrupted by the others)
Ally: Guys, I need to focus!
Cactus: But we just wanted to show you this hilarious picture we found!
Ally: Okay, one second. (She looks at the picture, but starts laughing so hard that she can’t continue working)
Ally: I’ll be right back, I need to go get a drink of water.
(Ally goes to the kitchen, but comes back with a glass of iced water)
Ally: What now?
Cactus: We just wanted to show you this hilarious picture we found!
Ally: Okay, one second. (She looks at the picture, but starts laughing so hard that she can’t continue working)
Ally: I’ll be right back, I need to go get a drink of water.
(Ally goes to the kitchen, but comes back with a glass of iced water)
Ally: What now?
Cactus: We just wanted to show you this hilarious picture we found!
Ally: Okay, one second. (She looks at the picture, but starts laughing so hard that she can’t continue working)
Ally: I’ll be right back, I need to go get a drink of water.
(Ally goes to the kitchen, but comes back with a glass of iced water)
Ally: What now?
Cactus: We just wanted to show you this hilarious picture we found!
Ally: Okay, one second. (She looks at the picture, but starts laughing so hard that she can’t continue working)
Ally: Wait a minute… this is going in circles! We're getting nothing done! It's like Groundhog Day or something.
Ally’s cat: meow (what do you mean we?)
(Her cat then promptly leaves the room)
Ally: Well that’s a bit rude! Wait, I feel spam in my blood… (she then gets a trollish look in her eyes) Time to… SPAM!!!!!
(Ally spams the SBFW discord for approximate 30 minutes, much to the dismay of the “master shake”s)
SpongeBob: TIME OUT! 1 HOUR!
Ally: FUCK! (she didn’t say this on discord obviously)
(Ally then proceeds to spam SBFW for the next hour) 
SpongeBot: IT’S OVER! 
Ally: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 
SpongeBob: I’m sorry, but you are the worst SBFW vore editor EVER! 
(SpongeBob then banishes Ally to the void. Ally then wakes up in bed)
Ally: Phew, I’m glad that was just a dream! I would have never done that in real life! (She then realizes that she’s in the void) 
Ally: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 
(Ally then wakes up again)
Ally: I swear to fucking god, I’m going more insane than when NotJoe has another rant on discord.
(Cutaway)
NotJoe: YOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
I just got my report card
AND I'M MOVING ON TO TWELFTH GRADE!!!
how have i not stayed back yet?
YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NotJoe mother: Joe! Where did my adult tapes go?! I’ve been looking forward to watching those all night!
NotJoe: (pulling a tape from out of his pocket and putting it in his cat’s mouth) What adult tapes?
NotJoe mother: (sighs) Must’ve been your father, then. (yelling) NIGEL!
NotJoe father: FUCK YOU, MELINDA!
(They then start arguing)
NotJoe: And this is why I started a YouTube channel. CP!
(Sirens blare in the distance)
NotJoe: I’m sure that’s unrelated.
(Cutaway ends. Cut to Kirkburn in his father’s basement)
Kirkburn: Hey at least I’m not your typical cave dweller. I live in my FATHER’S basement!
(Getting on his computer)
Kirkburn: Now let’s see here… guy claiming all transgender children should die? Nah, not interesting enough. Ooh, someone spamming on a Fandom blog post. Now that’s interesting! (clicks a key on the keyboard) BLOCKED! SAYONARA, MOTHERFUCKA!
13 year old kid in Euthanasia: ;(
Kirkburn: Now that that’s taken care of, it’s time to jack o- I mean do important Fandom staff duties.
(Kirkburn, with noticeable belly flab, attempts to get up from his seat, but fails miserably and breaks his entire setup)
Kirkburn: MY SETUP! MY MICROSOFT WINDOWS 11 COMPUTER THAT MY DA- I MEAN I BOUGHT! ALL MY FILES GONE! ALL MY LEGACY GONE! ALL MY APES… (flips over table) GONE!
(Kirkburn then looks at the camera, confused)
Kirkburn: What is this thing? Oh well, might as well destroy it too.
(Kirkburn uses his keyboard as a weapon to smash the camera with, turning the screen black)
[ACT 2]
(Cut to Gabee the Bee on their Leapfrog computer)
Gabee: Buzz buzz, I love being a babee!
Jess: Now honey, we’re going to be leaving for Peppa Pig world in a few minutes. Are you sure your stinger is sharpened?
Gabee: Shut up already, I’m watching Peppa pig funny videos online 2022 zombie horde invasion fun hilarious videos for kids!
Jess: Okay then. Have fun!
Pluto: Why did we have this child again?
Jess: Hubby! Bee’s right in front of you!
Gabee: Buzz buzz.
Pluto: Let’s go, my dear wife.
Jess: Gabee, we’ll be sure to tell you all about the wonders of Peppa Pig World. We’ll even get you a Boris Johnson pencil sharpener!
Gabee: Gabee loves pencil sharpeners! Buzz buzz bee bee sting sting!
Pluto: Jess, are you sure our baby isn’t disabled?
Jess: It’ll be fine, hubby. (whispers) let’s go before it’s too late.
Pluto: Good with me.
(Gabee’s parents zip out the door)
Gabee: Now for the real shit.
(Gabee goes on the web and looks up the LGBTA+ wiki, only to see that it has been closed)
Gabee: WHAT! BUT THAT WAS MY SAFE SPACE! MY BEEHIVE… STOLEN!!
(Gabee starts making angry bee noises)
(A few minutes later, Gabee’s parents return to an absolute shithole of a house)
Jess: WHAT THE SHIT?
Pluto: Hey, not around the kid.
Jess: GABEE! How could you?!
Gabee: Buzz buzz. If Fandom wants to take down the LGBTA+ wiki, then I'm taking our house down in protest!
Pluto: That is the worst logic I've ever heard.
(The Mojang logo teleports in our of motherfucking nowhere)
Mojang: Wanna bet?
Pluto: Wha-? How did you even get here?
Mojang: Companies have their ways.
Pluto: Riiiight. Well would you get out of here? Don't you know how late at night it is?
Mojang: THE N WORD?! NO! YOU CANNOT SAY THAT!
(Mojang slaps a piece of duct tape over Pluto’s mouth)
Jess: Oh no! My hubby is being kidnapped by Minecraft!
Mojang: First of all, we’re Mojang. Although you should buy our new game Minecraft Legends, coming out in 2023! Second of all, we're just trying to protect the children. It's a good cause!
Jess: Oh well I do love children. Not in a sexual way of course.
Mojang: I have an extra piece of duct tape right here if you say anything else about children.
Jess: I don't, but I do have something to say about your censorship-!
(Mojang slaps duct tape onto Jess’ mouth)
Mojang: (looking down at Gabee) Now, child, you're safe now.
Gabee: Fuck off.
Mojang: (gasps) A fraud! You can't be a child, babies don't even know how to talk!
Babee: Yeah big whoop, I'm a fucking anomaly. It's not like this is all a huge fantasy or anything. Also when can you free my parents? I need food and I rely on them to survive.
Mojang: Bro I'm not a babysitter. Or am I? I honestly have no idea, I’d have to ask Microsoft.
Babee: Your company is shit.
(Gabee gets duct tape as well)
Mojang: I hope you all enjoy your 7-day temp bans! Toodles!
(Mojang teleports away as the room is filled with utter silence)
(Cut to an abandoned igloo in the middle of Alaska, where a random penguin is on his iPad typing random crap)
Golfpecks: DEADLINE!!!! EVERY SECOND IS PRECIOUS TIME FOR PRODUCTIVITY!
(His phone rings, and he picks it up)
Golfpecks: Hello? Yes, I'll trim those hedges for the fund soon enough. I'm too busy being productive in the world of sports right now. Uh huh. Don't use that language, it's very unprofessional. Goodbye. (Hangs up) Well that was interesting.
Dan: (on discord) Hey Golf, would you slide for Von?
Golfpecks: I will not succumb to this Von character. Frankly, he seems like a huge troll.
Dan: Cocksucker.
Golfpecks: Do NOT USE SLURS! REPORTED!
Dan: Bro how stupid are you? Cock is not a slur, and neither is (bleeped out for Fandom reasons).
Golfpecks: Yes they are, homeslice, now leave me to tend my stocks.
Dan: As you wish, cum goblin.
Golfpecks: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!
Zoltan: Greetings sir, do you like Minions?
Golfpecks: I don’t have “Minions”, I have associates. Also, if you keep this up, I am reporting this trollish “SBFW” to Fandom.
Dan: Oh noo, I’m sooo scared.
Ally: Do it pussy.
Golfpecks: Okay, I will, douchebag.
French Narrator: Two days later…
Zoltan: WHAT’S WRONG WITH PEEING, WHAT’S WRONG WITH PEEING ON THE FRENCH!
Golfpecks: Everything, you nincompoop.
Ally: WHAT! I’M BLOCKED!
Golfpecks: Get blocked, troll.
Ally: Don’t you have parents that worry about you?
Golfpecks: They died of cancer back in ‘09. Back when Obama was president. (swoons)
Ally: Weirdo.
Golfpecks: Complete projection.
Ally: Whatever, lol. (to herself) I’ll just make another alt.
French Narrator: Zee next day…
Ally: WHAT?! AGAIN? WHY!
Golfpecks: (DMing Ally) RIP Bozo.
Ally: FUCK YOU!!!
Golfpecks: Reported to DisCord for language. Anyway, you are now blocked. Thanks for the late night service!
(The episode fades to black...)
[ACT 3]
(...before a giant Dewgong appears right in front of the camera)
Dewgong: Dew gong gong gong.
(The dewgong gets shoved aside as a dark figure approaches the screen)
Liz: Hi, it’s the kid who’s been writing the script you’re reading right now. (pointing at camera) Yes, you. YOU! I just want to say a few things. Thanks for reading this very short-lived series that I acquired from Ally, the infamous SBFW spammer, on a rainy day. Now here are some notes to a few special peoples: 
To Golfpecks: Bro, just give the fuck up already. You’re supposed to be working on a hedge fund and being productive, not having a pointless grudge against a fanfiction community. Grow up.
To Aaron: 🏳️‍🌈
To CrazySponge: 🏳️‍🌈
To Pluto: 🏳️‍🌈
And finally, I have nothing else to say. Thanks for watching- or reading- The Whatever Show.
Pffft… welp.
(end)
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Category:Series Finale
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