Fugitive Television 2: Rogue Logo Boogaloo/Transcript

*Paramount Blue Mountain logo plays with Television sliding past the peak four times without stopping*
Paramount Boss: Cut! Why the hell does that Television keep sliding away from you, Blue Mountain?
Blue Mountain: Because he's chicken shit, boss. He keeps bitching and moaning about my abusing him and putting scars on him, and I did nothing of the kind. He needs to be put in his place.
Paramount Boss: In that case, we'd better find him before his dementia becomes a pandemic.
*NET logo plays*
Announcer: This is NET! The National Educational...
*Television slides in underneath the logo as the announcer says "Television network."*
NET: What is this? National Educational Television Television?
Television: You mean spell NET with two T's?
NET: This may as well be the Department of Repetitive Redundancy Department.
Paramount Boss: Television, you come back here! Now!﻿
Television: I can't stay here. Give my regards to Friendly the Giant! *leaves*
Paramount Boss: He was Canadian!
*1971 PBS logo plays with "service" fading to Television*
PBS Boss: No no no no no! The word 'service' should be there, not the Television from the Paramount Blue Mountain logo!
Television: I need a place to hide! The Blue Mountain still doesn't believe he abused me. Do I have to bare my scars to prove it?﻿
Paramount Boss: Scars, schtars! You've been drinking in the bars! Get back to Paramount, or we'll blow you to Mars!
Television: Gotta vamoose, Mother Goose! *leaves*
*Lionsgate logo from 2005 plays*
Lionsgate: Hello, friend. What are you doing in the Lionsgate logo?
Television: Have mercy on me, Lionsgate! I need you to protect me! If that ever-so-abusive and prevaricating Blue Mountain sees me up here, he says he'll take no prisoners!
Blue Mountain: I've sighted the fugitive Television, boss. He's trying to hide in the Lionsgate cloud logo!
Television: Oh noes! He's sighted me! I've gotta get out of here! Don't ever tell them I was with you!﻿
Lionsgate: My lips are sealed.
*Ubu Productions logo plays with Television fading in on the top right of "Productions"*﻿
Paramount Boss: A-ha! Television, if you don't come back to Paramount this instant, I'm charging you with mutiny!﻿
Television: No jury in the world would convict me!
Paramount Boss: Wanna bet? Don't just stand there, Ubu! Drop that frisbee and bring that Television back to Paramount! Be a good dog! ﻿
*Television escapes*﻿
Paramount Boss: Oh crotch! Television escaped again! Bad dog! Bad dog!﻿
*NBC Peacock logo from the 1960's plays*﻿
Announcer: The following program is brought to you in living color on NBC.﻿
*the peacock sneezes his feathers off, with Television fading in above him*﻿
Television: Gesundheit.﻿
Peacock: Thanks.﻿
*siren*﻿
Television: Uh-oh! The fuzz! Excuse me, Mr. Peacock, but I gotta fly. Hope you find your feathers.﻿﻿
*Screen Gems S from Hell logo plays with Television fading in underneath it*﻿
Television: Mercy, mercy, mercy. I know you're that dreaded S from Hell, but you've got to save me. If the Blue Mountain catches up with me, it could be curtains.﻿
Blue Mountain: There he is, boss, trying to hide in the Screen Gems S from Hell.
Paramount Boss: So there you are, Television! It will do you no good to hide this time, because we've brought our case to the authorities and you've been found guilty as charged of mutiny.﻿
Television: It's an outrage! I never mutinied! Do I have to bare my scars to prove I'm telling the truth?﻿
Boss: The jury didn't buy that bullshit about scars. You're sentenced to death. Prepare to face your executioner.
Television: Save me, Jesus!
Boss: He won't save your condemned soul now. Prepare to die! All right, troops! Ready, aim...﻿
*Television escapes*﻿
Paramount Boss: Oh crotch! He's getting away again! After him! Arrest anyone that harbors him! He's an enemy of the people!﻿
*YouTube logo appears*﻿
Paramount Boss: All right, YouTube logo! Are you harboring that fugitive Television, who's under sentence of death? Don't lie!﻿
*Television appears*
Blue Mountain: There he is, boss. Shall we execute him now?
Paramount Boss: The sooner, the better. Alright troops. Ready, aim...
Television: Wait! Hold your fire! I've explained the whole story to YouTube. I've shown them my scars, and they say to reverse the mutiny conviction or they'd sic the V of Doom on you.
Paramount Boss: Oh crotch! All right, we'll see to it your conviction is overturned.
Blue Mountain: All is forgiven, Television. I'm sorry I was rash about you.
Television: Apology accepted.
*Take 2: Television appears, but now Paramount disappears and "Gulf-Western" is replaced with "Viacom".*
Paramount Boss: Cut! Not again. First Television runs off; now it's Paramount that's run off.﻿
Blue Mountain: I guess it's just one of those days.﻿
Television: I wonder where Paramount's gone.﻿
V of Doom: And after we have dinner, I can show you my art gallery.
Paramount: Rod Serling has got nothing on you, V of Doom.﻿
Category:Transcripts