Bob the Cactus of DOOM!

At the school of BLEEGY-MEEGY-SPREEGY school for strange beings of apocalyptic significance, Ella the Talking Moose, Matildafish, Ievalin the Chandelier of Angry Corn and Biscuiamaris found Bob the Cactus of DOOM! DUN DUN DUN!!!
His parents and beggining are uknown to science and myth but everyone agreed that he would live a long and doomy life.
However, after saving it from a horrible death by lawn mower, they took it to a (so they thought) better home but his arch-nemesises (the maintenance men) dumped ten thousand tons of compost on his poor, not-so-innocent head. Bob's burial ceremony was conducted by Ellie the Dwarf God (who is also a priest) and many, many mourners.
Legend says that it still grows there, plotting its revenge, but the truth is, it was recruited to OWCA (Agency Without a Cool Acronym) and fights the maintenance men every day to foil his evil plans. (evil laugh)
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