Hard Decisions: A Deltarune story

== Summary ==
Tired of her mother being hard on her, Noelle goes on a journey of self discovery and finds out some surprising facts about herself, her friends, and her estranged sister Dess.
== Noelle’s POV ==
My life has been changing.
Ever since Kris and Ralsei ended up fixing a dangerous dimensional rift that had been leaking inhabitants from the heaven realm into our world, nearly putting us in jeopardy and getting this world taken over.
The mission was successful. Things have died down.
But I still feel like things aren’t over for us yet.
I check my watch. It’s tiny screen reads 11:45 AM. June 12th.
It’s Saturday. I say to myself. I remove my blazer and set it on top of my dresser and replace it with a loose shirt with two buttons at the collar.
Out of the corner of my eye I spot a picture of my sister Dess and a partially torn envelope with my name written in slightly scrawled lettering.
I hear mother call my name.
“Noelle! I need to talk to you about something!”
“Coming, mom.” I say, entering the living room. Mom isn’t wearing her usual formal attire, substituting it for a flowy shirt and form fitting pants, but her hair is done up in a braided bun. She has a slightly tired look on her face.
“Noelle, the town is having their annual bake sale, and I need you to help me plan it. There are roughly 500 people at this event.”
I nod. “Okay mom. But is it okay if Kris, and Ralsei assist me too?”
Mom pauses in thought. then nods. “Alright Noelle, but remember, don’t let me catch either of you making any mistakes during this event or you’ll only get to see them during school hours for a week. I’m counting on you, Noelle.”
I nod solemnly. “Understood.”
Then another thought catches my mind.
“Well I’ve been thinking…”
“About what?”
“Mom, may I also bring Susie along as well?”
Her expression changes. Her voice grows stern. “You’re bringing that ruffian with you? I thought she’d be a bad influence.”
I try to hide the nervousness in my voice. “Mother, she’s changed. Ever since Kris and Ralsei decided to befriend her, maybe me being friends with Susie helped bring out a softer side.”
“Well all right, but I’m going to keep my eye on you two for a bit so I can see if what you are saying is true. And I heard mention of someone I’ve never heard of before. Who are-“
“Ralsei.” I interject.
“Kindly refrain from interrupting me.”
“Sorry Mother.” I say.
She leans in closer to me. “And who, pray, is Ralsei? This fellow seems a noble to me.”
“Well he’s…he’s a p-prince.” I say.
“I see.”
“But he doesn’t really have that many subjects. It was kind of lonely for him, until we came along according to him.”
“He may join us.” Mom says. “Guests are arriving at noon. Get yourself ready. I need to do so myself. Right now my attire is not fit for such an event.”
I nod, and walk towards the front entrance.
“One more thing when you leave to gather your friends.” She says.
I turn to her.
“Do not forget your house key. I do not want a repeat of what happened 6 months ago, understood?” She says firmly.
“Yes Mother.” I tuck the key into my front pocket.
Just as I exit the house, my father exits his study. He’s been home for a while, and despite his rocky relationship with mom, he brought his familiar warmth to the house again now that his illness had subsided.
“Ah, Noelle! How are you?’ he asked, roping me in for a hug.
“Everything’s good.” I reply. “I’m bringing my friends over to help out at the bake sale mom is planning.”
“Wonderful.” 
I lock eyes with him. My voice drops to a whisper.
“Every spelling bee I freeze up at the word ‘December’ because it always reminds me of my sister Dess.” I say
“She was a bit of a rebel, but she loved you so much. I was saddened when I found out she had left. She’s always been a hard topic for your mother to talk about. She cares about you, and can often have high expectations.“
“Why’d she leave, Dad?” I ask.
“Well your mother really does want to be there for you, Noelle, but her job as mayor requires she maintain an image of formality and punctuality. We’re all family, so she also projects those expectations onto you two. Be perfect, don’t make too many mistakes, and if something embarrassing happens in public, everyone sees it. Your sister didn’t like all the rules she placed. She grew tired of all the formalities, so after a while, they got into a bit fight, and Dess almost got grounded, and when your mother came to check up on her, the window was ajar. Dess had fled. She left a note with your name on it.” He says.
“Wow. That’s really sad. Also I haven’t read the note she wrote me. The envelope is only partially opened.” I reply.
I take the envelope, Dess’ name written in scrawled letters,  run my finger under its folds, and tear it open. I scan over the letter as I whisper its words loud enough so only Dad can hear.
𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗡𝗼𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗲,
𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻, 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗴𝗲. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝘁𝗺𝗼𝘀𝗽𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗹𝘆. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗜 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗘𝗿𝗶𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝘄𝗼𝗹𝗳 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗝𝗮𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗳𝗲𝘄 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀, 𝘄𝗲’𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽. 𝗔 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝗻𝗲. 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗠𝗼𝗺 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗳 𝘄𝗲’𝗿𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗲’𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻, 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝘆𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁, 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲. 𝗠𝘆 𝟮𝟬𝘁𝗵 𝗯𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗝𝗮𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗘𝗿𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗳 𝗠𝗼𝗺 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲, 𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲. 𝗜 𝗿𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀, 𝗠𝗼𝗺 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘆𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗼𝘄𝗻, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘂𝘀. 𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿, 𝗜 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲, 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗔𝘀𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗹’𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗦𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗲. 𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿. 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗡𝗼𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗲, 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽, 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗠𝗼𝗺 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻. 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗠𝘆 𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲, 𝗗𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝟮 𝗦’𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵, 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿, 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗖. 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁. 𝗝𝗮𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿, 𝗘𝗿𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝘁𝗼𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝘂𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘆𝗲𝘁, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜’𝗺 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻-𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗜 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀. 𝗠𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗮𝘆.
𝗦𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗹𝘆,
   𝗗𝗲𝘀𝘀♡
𝗣.𝗦. 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗠𝗼𝗺 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝗳 𝗗𝗮𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗵𝗲’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝗠𝗼𝗺 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁, 𝘀𝗵𝗲’𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮 𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲, 𝘀𝗼 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁, 𝗵𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗺 𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲. 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗹𝘂𝗰𝗸.
I smile as I fold up the letter. “Even though Dess has a better life now, at least she’s happy. I hope I can live my own life someday, free of any harsh restrictions. Free of worrying about how others will see me.”
“You’ll get that chance someday.” Dad says. “Right now just know that your friends’ support and my support is what makes you strong. Love who you want with no regrets.” 
I grin. “Thanks Dad. I’ll come to you if I need advice.”
“Noelle.” Mom calls out. “Please get ready. We don’t have all the time in the world.”
I fold Dess’ letter and place it under a stack of clothing in my dresser drawer and push it closed. I change into a different blazer and a pair of navy blue pants, and exit into the kitchen where partially filled food baskets sit.
“What was taking you so long?” Mom asks insistently.
“I needed to talk with Dad about…”
I pause, searching for the right words. Dess’ face appears in my mind.
Don’t tell Mom about the letter. She won’t like the fact you’re talking to someone she cast out long ago.
Too late. She doesn’t like to wait.
“I was talking to Dad about the bake sale.”
“Yes, go on.”
“And I…talked to him about Dess.” I say. Dess’ words of encouragement calm my nervousness. 
Just tell her something. Your sister believed in you. Now it’s your turn. Do this for yourself.
Mom’s brow furrows. “You know perfectly well you aren’t supposed to talk about your…sister.
She says the word almost like a bad taste in her mouth.
“Mom.” I say determinately. “Dess still cares about me.”
“She doesn’t care about the family’s image, Noelle. Dess was reckless and inconsiderate and didn’t care about how her actions affected others’ opinions of her. Of us. You need to know that.”
“She proved to me that there is a life outside of rules and formalities, Mom. You’re always obsessing over me winning first place in a spelling bee, or not forgetting my house keys, or making sure I’m always dressed formally even when no one is around, or about how people in public see us. I am tired of this.”
“This discussion is over.” Mom says sternly. “Go bring the food outside and do not bring this up again.”
Oh Mom, you’ll see how wrong you are about Dess.
I go into the backyard and my phone vibrates.
A call from Kris.
“Hey.” I hear them say on the other end. “Haven’t seen you today.”
“Well, my mom is having one of her annual bake sales.” I say. “Do you and Ralsei want to come and help? Mom said it’s okay.”
“Sure. I’ll call them over. They’re at my house.”
“Where are you?” I ask.
“In my house, but the others are upstairs.”
“When will you be here?” I ask.
“In 10 minutes. Your house isn’t that far.”
“I’ll let you in through the back gates.” I say. “It’s probably better that way.”
I walk over to Kris’ house, and both them and Ralsei join hands with me. Susie follows close behind.
“What were you talking about back there? Some crazy party?” She asks.
“It sort of is a party, but also a bake sale. My mom planned it.” I say.
“Wait so it was one of those rich people parties where everyone stuffs their pieholes full of high-end food?” Susie asks. “Cool.”
“That’s not what I meant.” I say insistently. Something flashes in my mind. “It’s just one of Mom’s events.”
The letter from Dess
Maybe what Mom told me a long time ago wasn’t true. Dess didn’t hate us at all.
She just wanted a life of her own.
I lied to my friends saying she died, but I hope they’re okay with me revealing what really happened, and the letter.
The whole letter.
What really happened.
We run. My heart pounds. Footsteps slam against the grass.
Thoughts rush through my head as if everything got sped up.
“Uh why are we running?” Ralsei asks.
“Well I have something to confess to you guys but you have to promise me that Mom doesn’t hear us.” I say between rapid breaths. “Meet me in my bedroom closet.”
“Uh…Noted.” Susie says.
We reach the back of my house. Mom enters with Dad following. Both are holding pitchers filled with various beverages.
“Dear, what have you been doing? And why are you so exhausted? And mind the slouch.” Mom says.
“I was just…you know, excited for the bake sale. Lots of people and food and stuff.” I say.
“I see. And you found your friends too.”
“Yeah they’ll help me in a moment.” I say. “Mom, I have to do something important, and it’s in my room.”
“Go ahead.” She says, adjusting her glasses. “But promise me you won’t be taking too long.”
“I won’t, I won’t.” I say, a slight edge in my voice.
“Noelle, mind your tone.” Mom says sternly.
An apology forms in the back of my throat, but one of the things Dess used to say to me when she still lived with us reverberates through my mind.
Mom goes me an expectant glare.
You don’t have to apologize for anything that doesn’t hurt people. If you don’t give Mom the response she expects when she ‘corrects’ you for any of her perceived imperfections, like her constantly chiding you over your posture, you don’t have to say anything. You don’t have an obligation to anyone. In the end, you’re not perfect like everyone else.
The words hum like a tuning fork. The apology quickly bursts into pieces.
I don’t owe Mom anything. Dess told me I don’t have to.
Mom turns and walks away, sighing.
“What’s gotten into her?” I hear her say softly.
Nothing. But apparently you think that’s a big problem. I’ll tell you what’s the problem. Your too-high standards.
I grab Kris’ and Susie’s hand in my left hand, and Ralsei’s hand in my right.
We wipe our feet and remove our shoes, and rapidly walk up the stairs into my room. I rapidly shut and lock my door behind me once Kris, Susie, and Ralsei are inside. I throw open my bottom dresser drawer.
I grab Dess’ letter and unfold it.
“The Hell is that?” Susie asks. 
My voice takes on a euphoric fiercely sharp, but singsong tone.
“Oooooh Susie, babe, I think we all know perfectly well what this is.”
Susie’s cheeks turn a deeper rosy shade of pink, complimenting her already pink scaly skin.
“Someone’s lovestruck.” Ralsei says. I gently place a finger over his mouth, silencing him in the moment.
My mouth stretches into a wide smile. “It’s a letter from my sister dated June 1st. A week and a half ago. When it arrived, Dad was the first one who saw it, so he snuck it into my room and put it down with the folded part facing upwards so Mom wouldn’t see who sent it, but I’m gonna read this thing.”
My voice grows firm.
“But first, all of you. In the closet. Now. Huddle up, everyone.”
We all go into my closet, where it’s large enough to be its own tiny sitting room. The four of us crowd together shoulder to shoulder.
I unfold the letter slowly.
“Is-Is that-“ Kris attempts to say, but I cut them off.
“Shhhh. Wait until after I read this.” I whisper loudly.
I scan my eyes over it. My voice grows low as I hang on to every word I read from the letter. All my friends’ expressions slowly morph into disbelief.
“That was from Dess??” Kris says. “Thought she was dead. Mrs Holiday was planning a funeral that day.”
I screw my face up in a grimace. My voice drops to a whisper.
“And she said honesty always wins.” I snort. “Honesty my ass. How’s that being honest when your sister’s been living a good life with her two lovers the whole time? Mom doesn’t know that I’m fucking sick of being the mayor’s perfect little daughter. Lying’s shit, you know, especially if it’s from Mom.”
“Oooooh.” The others say in unison. “Something’s coming.”
I hear a knock at the door.
“Quick. Look alive.” I say.
“Noelle, guests are arriving.” Mom says. “Please let them in. I have a meeting in a few minutes.”
“Okay Mom.” I say with fake enthusiasm.
“And remember. Don’t answer the door or phone if it’s me or the teacher or your dad.”
I nod.
I hear my mother walk down the stairs, and the front door closes with a faint click. I hear the hum of the engines as she drives away in her silver Prius.
“What was that for?” Ralsei asks. “Why were you hiding us?”
“Well I have a plan.” I say. “Dad’s still home. He says he has something from Dess.”
We walk down the stairs and I spot Dad on the couch reading a book. I tap him on the shoulder.
“Dad?” I ask. “What’s that tiny box on the bookshelf?”
He walks over and hands me the box. I open it and spot a note that says:
This was an early birthday present for Noelle. Dear sister, I hope you enjoy these. Mom may not like them, but I just want you to be your own person for once, even if it means one tiny change at a time.
                  -Dess
I open the box and inside are a pair of skull shaped earrings. The second pair is heart shaped.
“Oh my god.” I whisper. “These are amazing.”
I take the earrings and place both pairs in my ears. I close the box, hug Dad, and I hide the box in my dresser once I’m back in my room.
“Guys.” I say. “Call Catti. I’m dyeing my hair.”
“But your mom would flip.” Kris says. I shush them.
“Forget my Mom. I haven’t had a single goddamn chance to be myself in years.”
We walk into the kitchen and I take the house keys and stuff them in my pocket.
“Dad.” I say. “Is it okay if I go to Catti’s house? I’m dying part of my hair.”
“Of course.” He says. “If that’s what makes you happy, which you haven’t been lately.”
I nod. “Dess let me be myself. But now it’s like I have to hide when Mom is around.”
“You don’t have to right now.” Dad says. “Go and have fun for a bit. I used to go out like this when I was your age.”
I hug him. “Thank you so much Dad. This means a lot to me.”
“Enjoy.” He calls out.
We exit the house, and our journey begins.
“Wow. I didn’t know your dad was so chill.” Susie says. 
“Yeah. He isn’t hard on me like Mom is.” I say.
“Yeah but still. Back when he was ill it must’ve been even harder.” She says.
She places her arm around my shoulder. “You’re not alone. Mine disappeared because he wanted a son to continue some trashy ‘family business’. This was after my little sister Ora was born. She has blue skin. When she was born, he thought she was a boy. Then when he was corrected, he stormed out of the house, but not before punching a dent in the living room wall. We’re not exactly well off, and right now, things are a bit better, but sometimes this…is really hard to talk about.”
“When I say I’m a prince with no subjects, it’s true.” Ralsei says. “My subjects were stolen from me by Lancer’s parents and forced to bow to them. Why? Because they claimed I was too nice.”
“Ralsei.” I say, taking his hand. “If anything, all kingdoms should have nice rulers. Peoples’ lives would be much better.”
He smiles. “You made my life better.”
“And also…” Susie continues. “I didn’t exactly have enough food around when I was younger which is why I eat things that aren’t edible. Now my family has food delivered to us free of charge.”
“Wait so you didn’t have to pay for it?”
“No. Because we needed it to take care of ourselves. They also gave us some extra money to help us get by. Then Mom started working two jobs and sadly she was out of the house most of the time.”
“That is…very sad.” I say.
“Yeah.” I feel Susie wrap her arms around me. All I hear is the steady rhythm of her breathing. The slightly rapid thump of her heart.
I hear her breathe deeply. Then she lets go.
“So we were hanging out in Kris’ room before you called us over, and I heard arguing. It sounded like your Mom was angry.”
I pull out the letter. “She was angry because I was talking about Dess.”
“But why? Dess was awesome!” Kris says.
“Because Dess didn’t like all the strict rules Mom set out. They didn’t let her do the things she wanted to do. Then they got into an argument and Dess got grounded, then ran away.”
“Your Mom is going a bit too far with this.” Susie says. 
“I didn’t realize it then, but she really is.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“Build myself a team. You guys are the first members. Then I’ll see if I can find Dess. Or better yet she finds me.”
Ralsei’s arm shoots forward. “Hey I think that’s Catti’s house.”
I squint my eyes slightly, and the house’s shape sharpens from afar.
“We’re getting close.” I say.
We keep walking, and some time later, we go up the front steps and I ring the doorbell, which produces an off-key chime.
“Man.” I whisper. “It sounds like it hasn’t been replaced in years.”
We wait for a bit, then hear faint footsteps from behind the door.
The person who opens it is Catti, with her face slightly towards us, but her eyes down at her phone.
“Alright, what do you want? Also get in here, you all look like sad newly homeless people, and I don’t mean that maliciously.” She says, her tone deadpan.
“O-Okay…thank you.” Ralsei says. “Strange demeanor if you ask me.
“Now what can I do for you?” She asks.
“Catti.” I reply. “Where do you keep your hair dyes? I’m going for a little change in style.”
“Okay.” She says. “Right now I only have dark colors. The only ‘bright’ ones I have are purples and blues.”
“Whatever. I’ll just take those.” I say.
Catti drags a chair to a low built sink. “Sure, sure. Now siddown.”
“Oooooo.” I say excitedly as I lean into the sink.
“Look, I’m not one who asks questions, Noelle, but what the hell’ve you been doing? You look like the grim reaper after a fresh kill.”
I laugh. “Well my Mom has been…more strict than usual.”
Catti laughs. “Yeah yeah. having a control freak for a parent is sure to drive you crazy.”
I feel her wet my hair, and out of the corner of my eye, I spot her rub dye through several locks of hair.
“Mmmm.” I reply. “Catti, do you know my sister Dess?”
“Do I? Of course. The one who carried the Wiffle bat like a weapon into battle. Haven’t seen her in a long time. Don’t know where she went. Saw a funeral for her a long time ago. When I asked the mayor what happened, she said she died, but from the energy around here, she sure as fuck ain’t dead.”
“That’s what I keep saying, but Mom gets mad when I bring Dess up. She’s not dead. She ran away. In your words she got tired of Mom being a control freak.”
“Exactly my point.” Catti adds, running more water through my hair. “It looks like the dye set.”
She hands me a mirror.
“Holy crap.” I say, astonished. “I look awesome. Thanks Catti. Also if you’re wondering where Dess is, here, read this letter. My dad hid it in my room because Mom would go insane if she saw it, and possibly destroy the letter.”
Catti’s eyes rapidly move over the page. “She was alive this whole time?”
“Bloody right she is.” I say. Dess used to speak with a British accent when she was either making a point, or in a state of extreme emotion.
Don’t worry Dess. We’re coming for you.
“Let me see if I can send Dess a letter replying back.” I say. I take an empty envelope and write Dess’ address on the back in loopy pseudo cursive letters.
Dess Holiday
1245 Dune Court
Beach Village, Salacia
Dess,
My friends want to know how you’re doing. Send me a photo if you want.
Also I need advice on how to keep Mom from bothering me. She’s currently busy but I have 4 unread messages from her.
   -Noelle
I fold my letter and stick it in an envelope, marking it with a stamp with a beach scene as its picture. 
I stick the envelope in Catti’s mailbox.
“If the mailman comes, tell them to send a reply here.” I say. “And tell them I wrote it.”
Catti nods. 
“Also do you have any clothes that fit me?” I ask.
“You’re already wearing them.”
“No, I meant something more casual, but also…darker.”
“O-Okay let me see.” Catti enters her closet and I hear rustling noises as she searches through drawers full of clothes.
“Ah-ha! I found a few things, although they’re a little worn.” She says.
“That’s perfect.” I say. “Thank you.”
The clothing she found is a maroon tank top with a worn faux leather jacket and black leggings.
“Just give me a minute to change into these.”
After a few minutes, I take a look at myself in the mirror.
“Wow.” I say. “This…This is definitely me.”
“But we still have one question.” Ralsei says. “What happened to your sister?”
“Well…” Susie says. “Little sis is actually my little bro. His name is still Ora though.”
“Wow.” I add. “Is it okay if we call him? I want to see if he’s okay with joining us.”
“Sure.” Susie replies. “Let me see if I can get ahold of him.”
She takes out her phone and dials a number. Moments later, a voice is heard on the other end. It’s low and husky, but not too deep, with a slight lilt.
“Susie? You haven’t called me in a while.”
“I know.” She replies. “Ora we need your help.”
“What’s your situation? Lay it all on me.” He says.
Susie hands the phone to me.
“Ora, my name is Noelle Holiday.”
“Susie’s girlfriend?”
“Yes.” I reply.
“Okay. Now what’s going on?” He asks.
“Well I’m trying to find my sister.” I say
“Dess.”
“Ye—Wait how do you know about Dess??” I ask frantically.
“Wellll you do know that your own girlfriend knows everything about you from your guys’ ferris wheel hangouts. That can really make someone let their guard down and start talking about parts of their lives almost no one gets to hear unless they’re in some sort of relationship, which you guys indeed are.”
“Sure, sure. Anyway. I’m the daughter of the mayor of Hometown.”
“Go on…” He says.
“And my mom is super strict and it seems like she’s only getting more strict. I ask her about Dess and she’s all ‘you know you aren’t supposed to talk about your sister’.”
“Wow, that’s…messed up.”
“It is. It really is.”
“Can you tell me what else happened?”
“Well she got into this huge fight with Mom where she was lambasting Dess over perceived mistakes, like not apologizing, which is okay if you haven’t hurt anyone, or ‘dressing sloppily’ AKA non formal clothing, or ‘listening to sad music’ which is just music with a complex story that’s meant to make you feel certain emotions…”
I close my eyes, breathe deeply, and imagine myself, Ora and Susie watching the events that took place unfold in front of us.
I hear a gasp on the other end.
“Wow. Your mom is messed up.”
“Yeah, and after Dess ran away, I cried for the rest of the night until Mom told me to ‘stop that racket and pull it together’.”
“Sheesh. Your Mom is literally the most emotionally distant person I’ve heard of. A different kind of worse than my Dad.”
“Yeah…Keeps her office super cold.” I say.
“W-Wow. I don’t think I’d be able to last in there.”
“No one’s able to.” I say. “AC’s always on full blast.”
“No, no I meant I wouldn’t be able to hold a full conversation before turning into a lethargic puddle of bleahhhh and needing to sit in front of a fireplace or heater until I get energy back.”
“Dude, are you cold blooded?” I ask.
“Partially. I have an internal body temperature, but I’m sensitive to temperature changes, so in cold areas, I will lose a lot of energy and in the process, I will sound kind of drunk and then just sit unmoving until someone carries me to a warm area. So in order for this to not happen, I have to wear like 4 layers. You get used to it, though.”
“Anyway.” I say. “After Dess ran away, Mom planned a funeral saying she got killed running away. But she is still alive.”
I read him a snippet of her letter. My phone buzzes and I spot an unknown number. The text says it’s from Dess.
A video message pops up. I tap it. Dess looks older, but brighter and more radiant, and she is wearing one of her Pom pom earrings on one ear, and her bangs are swept back by hair clips. She wears a navy blue tank top.
Hi Noelle, It’s Dess. If any of your friends know that this is me, show them this number. I hope to see you again soon. I love you.
I hear her blow a kiss at the end.
“Oh my GOD.” Ora says. “Your Mom lied to most of an entire town about your sister?? And it seems like she loves you so much by the way that message sounded.”
“She does. She really really does. And she taught me some boxing basics until Mom made her stop because she doesn’t want me ‘beating people up.’ or me getting bruises. Well guess what?? After years of hiding any ‘unruly’ AKA perfectly normal emotions around her, I have no healthy way of dealing with my anger. Behind one of the pictures in my room, there’s a mark in the wall from when I put a boxing wrap around my hand and wrist, and punched it to oblivion all because I Didn't have the words for the anger I was feeling. And…and…”
I face Susie. “Punch me. Now.”
“Noelle, are you sure?”
My voice rises. My face warms. My breath quickens.
“Just fucking punch me! Please.” I say, loud enough to almost be a yell. I feel Susie’s fist hit my face. The fire dims, but not enough.
“Didn’t help enough. A scratch.”
“W-well…Okay.”
I feel a claw swiftly run across my cheek. Then the warm trickle of blood.
“Noelle, you’re bleeding!” Ralsei says nervously.
“I’m sorry.” Susie says, voice cracking.
“No, no, don’t be.” I say calmly. “That did it. Time to find Dess.”
“Okay. Wow.” Ora says. “I’m coming over right now.”
“No need, brother.” Susie says. She teleports away, then reappears, holding Ora’s hand. He’s 2 inches shorter than she is, has blue hair and skin with some purple pastel spots, short messy hair, yellow eyes, a scarf, a loose hoodie, and black track pants. His boyish appearance showed him to be at least 16 years old.
“Holy shit, Noelle.” He says. “You’re more messed up than I thought.”
“Yeah. Unfortunately life decided to be that way.” I say.
“Where should we go next?” He asks.
My phone buzzes. 2 more messages from Mom.
What is your progress on the guest invites? Do you have anything handled? If not I expect more from you.
“Home.” I say. “Even though it’s not the place I want to be. When the bake sale’s over and everyone leaves, we’re coming to your place. If your mom is okay with that.”
“She’s okay with visitors. In fact she actually likes them.” Susie says.
“Okay.” I reply. “I’ll meet you guys at Susie’s in T minus 2 to 3 hours.”
“Noted.” Ora, Susie, and Catti say in unison.
The five of us join hands, wave goodbye to Catti, and walk off.
Half an hour later, we reach my house. I unlock the gate and we approach the front door where my father is waiting. I spy a handful of people gathered in my backyard and a few in the front.
“Dad, I’m so sorry for making you wait.” I say hastily. “I just had to drop by a friend’s house, and I hope you’re not mad but this is Susie’s brother.” I gesture towards Ora.
“No worries.” Dad replies. “By the way you look amazing. The hair, the jacket, and the jewelry. It’s more…free spirited.”
We hug.
“By the way, what happened to your face?” He asks. “Looks like an impact wound.”
“I asked Susie to punch me.” I mumble. “I have no good way of letting my anger out.”
“Ahhh yes. Good ol’ emotional repression. I kept telling your mother that saying you should ‘quiet down that racket’ and ‘get ahold of yourself’ whenever you got emotional wouldn’t do you good. Did she listen? Nope. She’s stuck in this notion of ‘properness’ even when no one else is in the house.”
“Yeah. Sometimes things come back to bite you in the butt.” I say.
Susie and Ora laugh raucously.
I hear a song I don’t recognize coming from a small portable speaker placed on the front windowsill.
“Whose song is that?” I ask, pointing to the window.
“Some new artist I heard about.” Dad replies. “Someone said their name was…Ora Sauria.”
“Rudy-sorry…Mr Holiday…”
“First names are fine with me.” Dad says.
“Rudy, that artist is me. That’s my song you’re playing over those speakers. I first started songwriting when I was 11. Then I eventually started singing. Although I sort had to relearn as my voice dropped in pitch. Songwriting helped me escape when Dad’s disgrace in me beat me down. Then I started realizing all the emotions in these songs made me feel good knowing I wasn’t alone and that someone out there was listening. Even though I didn’t see my dad very much, little did he know his son was living a better life than he was. Served him right. Mom and Susie were the first people to hear my songs. Then eventually miss Alphys overheard me singing in the hallways.”
“Wow.” Kris signs.
“How’d she react?”
“Got really surprised, and asked me to sing at a school dance. It got filmed, and got 200 views in 5 hours. That’s when I started a YouTube channel. How did they know it was me? That’s because in Alphys’ video, the crowd kept saying my name.”
“Wow, that’s…amazing.” I gasp. “Then what happened?”
“I’m still making music like I always do, but now a lot more people see it, and deep down at least I know it’s making someone happy.” Ora grins.
We cross over to the backyard, and I hear distant sounds of a car pulling into the driveway.
“Crud.” I mutter. “Mom’s back. She’ll practically kill me if she sees me like this.”
We run into my bedroom, Susie, Ora, Kris, and Ralsei hide in the closet, and shut the door behind them. I change back into my old clothes, and clean the wound on my face, although it is still visible, albeit now less so.
The front door opens, and I hear the clacking of Mom’s heels, then a pause. Then I hear Dad say hello to her.
“Thank god.” I sigh. “Looks like she’s distracted…Temporarily. Dang it. Looks like the dye Catti uses doesn’t go away with one rinse. It’s the type that has to fade over time. Oh well, like Lancer said, it looks like I’m about to get verbally and probably emotionally thrashed as well.” 
Susie snorts. “Dude, that’s funny, but it’s also not. If anyone hurts you, I’d give them hell.”
“That’s sweet.” I chuckle. “But even though my mom doesn’t lift half as much as you do, she is still intimidating. How? She says she worked hard and beat the other mayoral candidates. Even before she was mayor, she was still hard on me and my sister.”
“Wow. That must be tough.”
I clench and unclench my fists, crack my knuckles, and breathe deeply.
“What are you doing?” Kris asks.
“Mentally preparing myself to get chewed out to oblivion.” I say. “Soon all hell will break loose. I need y’all to hide because I don’t want you getting caught in the fires of ‘mom-a-geddon’.”
“Alright losers.” Susie whispers. “Brace yourselves.”
I hear a knock at the door.
“Noelle, are you in there?”
“Yes.” I reply.
“Please open the door.”
“You can’t come in.”
“Why not? I have every right to do so.”
“Oh shove off.” I say under my breath. I then put on a fake tone of worry.
“I’m…trying to clean up this spill on my floor and I don’t want you getting some of it on yourself.”
“Noelle.” Mom says sternly. “Just let me in.”
“Wait!” Ora yells. My voice floats out of his mouth. “You haven’t finished talking to…Dad yet. He wants to talk to you.”
“Well, all right but I’m coming back up here and I want a full explanation on why you’ve been acting so strange today and how you dare to show that attitude to me even though you know full well it isn’t allowed here.” Mom says.
I hear her heels fade as she walks downstairs.
“Nice save, Ora.” I whisper. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
“The years of practice were worth it.”
I sit down on the floor, with my knees to my chest.
I sigh softly, then hold back a hard sob that takes me by surprise. I swallow hard, and eventually the feeling goes away, but I can still feel it lingering in the pit of my stomach.
“It looks like you were crying.” Kris signs. “Everything okay?”
“No, no, I’m fine.” I say, laughing half heartedly.
Kris locks eyes with me, showing that they’re asking a serious question.
“You’re not fine. It’s clear to all of us something’s up with you, and it’s clearly not good.” Susie says. “The laugh, the unnatural giddiness, the fact you had to hide us from Mrs Holiday. All signs you’re showing may mean you’re on the brink of a pretty bad burnout. You need help before you get trapped in an insanity spiral.”
Then Mom’s face appears in my mind.
Dess was reckless. She died running away. You know perfectly well you aren’t supposed to talk about her. I just want you to have a good future. Studying hard and following rules will benefit you.
No.
No.
No no no no no no no no no no no!
“NO!” I scream. “Stop it!”
I collapse on my knees, my head reeling. A growl exits my lips.
I laugh. Anger burns inside of me. The laugh soon turns into a rage filled guffaw.
“Oh no. no no. There’s nooo way anything will happen if I just follow the rules, right? Hahaha…ugh.”
“Oh my god.” Susie says frantically. “Noelle, you’re panicking! If you don’t stop now, you’re going to have a breakdown!”
“Oh no. I’m fine. Better, actually.”
I hear Mom walk towards the door.
“Noelle, what is all the noise I hear from this room?”
“Oh nothing, nothing…” I say, with giddiness in my voice. I then soften it and add a dash of meekness. A small laugh floats out of my mouth.
“Everything’s fine, Mom.”
“Noelle, what is that in your hair?” Mom’s voice rises slightly.
“Huh?”
“Young lady, answer me! Is that hair dye??”
I mumble a response, but to me, nothing comes out.
“Well??”
I feel a burning sensation, both in my insides, and my mind.
“It is hair dye!” I yell. My face grows warm. “There! Are you happy?”
My voice cracks. “Does this satisfy you, Mother?? Does it?”
“Noelle, control yourself. I’ve never seen a temper like that before.”
I growl, and it mixes with soft rapid sobs.
“This is all your fault. If you hadn’t been so rock hard, Dess wouldn’t have left. Thanks to you, during the time Dad was incapacitated, this whole house has had its joy and love sucked dry!”
“Things would be better if you weren’t like this!” Mom fires back. “Wash out the dye! Now!”
I collapse to my knees, and feel a tingling in my throat, threatening another burst of rage filled laughter.
“What’re you going to do about that now, huh?” I hiss.
My eyeline catches someone standing behind Mom.
The tingling comes again, and this time, a volatile mix of laughing and crying bursts from my very soul.
“What are you doing to her, Carol??” Dad says astonishingly. “WHY?”
“She broke rules, Rudy. She needs to know the consequences.”
“I passed by her room earlier, and the ‘ruckus’ I heard was my poor girl having a breakdown! I wish you would take a good hard look at what your stone coldness has done to both our relationship, your relationship with Noelle, and her sanity!!”
“Rudy, I was only worrying about Noelle’s future. She won’t be able to catch up with others because of all this rebellion!”
“Well clearly it’s hurt her more than you think! I want her to be happy!”
Mom spots me again. “Take off the earrings.”
“Leave her alone, Carol. She’s had enough of you for a while.”
A voice echoes in the back of my mind. I crawl back into the closet and sit close to Susie.
You know all that studying late into the night’s going to have a bad effect, right?
Fatigue overtakes me.
“A-Are you okay?” Susie asks worriedly.
“W-well…now that I th-think about it, no…” I whisper. I reach my hand upwards.
“Ralsei?”
“Noelle, you’re back! But you don’t look too good.”
“Just…Just kindly put me out of my goddamn misery…at least for now.”
“If you want it so badly…okay, then.” He says. His voice softens, and I hear the echoey and tranquil notes of an ethereal melody.
My eyelids go heavy, and moments later, I drift off.
“Ralsei, I’ve never seen you use a sleep spell on anyone other than an enemy.” I hear Susie say.
“Well, Noelle was so exhausted. I couldn’t bear to see her tear herself down like this…” He replies.
Time passes spent in the heavy oblivion of sleep.
Nothing out of the ordinary seems to happen until I hear faint voices.
Then I wake up, but I don’t open my eyes.
I’m not lying in the corner of my closet, and it seems someone moved me into my bed. I’m still wearing the clothes Catti gave me. Somehow someone managed to get me back into them even though I was unconscious.
I feel the coldness of a damp cloth, then a hand stroking my cheek.
“The hell are you doing…” I drawl, half asleep. “Stop touching my face or I’ll punch you like I did that wall.”
“Noelle, you’re awake.” I hear a voice say quietly. 
My eyes flutter open. My vision clears, and Dess moves into view.
Wait.
Dess ran away.
There’s no way Dess could be here.
Words force themselves out of my mouth. I bolt up from bed.
“What are you doing??” I yell. “You’re not supposed to be here, Mom would kill both of us!”
“Shhhhh” I hear someone else say. I’m quickly laid back down.
A wolf, the same one I imagined from the letter, dabs my face with a washcloth. It comes off tinged with a rusty red smudge.
“Am I dying?” I ask.
“No, dear heart. I need to clean some of the blood off your face. You have a nasty wound on your right cheek. What happened?”
“Someone punched me.” I reply.
“Who was it, love?” The wolf asks. Their voice is low in pitch, with a melodic lilt.
“I asked Susie to punch me.”
“Oh my.” The wolf says. “But why?”
“I was pissed at Mom. I have no good way of dealing with emotions. What Dess said came true. Take that, Mom.”
Dess leans in close to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. The smell of pine and cherry blossoms hits my nose.
“Elle!” Dess smiles. “We’re so glad to see you again. Or in Jasper and Eris’ case, meet you for the first time.”
“Dess?” I ask. “You sound way different from the last time we saw each other.”
“One. I’m older. Two. One of my friends was British so I mimicked him to the point where a British accent is just how I always speak.”
“Interesting.” I say.
I hear sounds coming from downstairs. A sob breaks free from my chest.
“Oh no oh no oh no she’s coming!” I cry out. I feel a warm hand on my shoulder.
“Noelle, things are going to be okay. You’re okay.”
Dess and the wolf face me.
“Who…are you…” I pant, locking eyes with him.
“I’m Jasper. One of Dess’ partners.”
“From h-her letter?” I ask.
“Yes.”
Jasper runs a hand across my temple.
“We should probably stay with you. In case something happens.” He says.
“In case what happens?” A human girl roughly a year younger than Dess gets near my face, startling me. She has wavy hair, a gradient, and a baggy hoodie.
“Holy shit…” I say rapidly. “Are you Eris?”
“Of course I am. Didn’t you see the letter?” She says with a touch of snark.
“Eris, please kindly tone it down a bit. Noelle has already been through enough.” Jasper says firmly.
== Kris’ POV ==
We hear talking coming from behind the dark closet door.
Then my name is called.
“I think Kris is still waiting back there. I hope they’re not mad at me for making them wait.”
I push the door open slightly.
“Kris…you’re back.” I hear someone say. I recognize their face, but can’t place their name.
Then another human jumps in front of me.
“You’re that other kid Dess was friends with! So nice to meet you!”
I pull back and drop to my knees, startled. I fiddle with the drawstring on part of my shirt.
“Please don’t do that.” I sign.
“Sorry.” She says.
“Oh Kris…” I hear someone say, kneeling down in front of me.
It’s the same person I can’t name.
“Who…?” I say softly.
“Kris, it’s Dess. Remember me?”
“You…came back?” I sign.
”Yeah. One of you guys texted me through Noelle’s phone. When I found out about her breakdown, I had to come here, but my partners and I had to wait until Mom left so she wouldn’t hear us.”
“Wow…that’s sad.” I say.
“But at least you came back for me.” Noelle says.
“Oh no. Not just for you, Noelle, but for Kris and Susie too. We care about all of you.”
I grin. Noelle flicks a switch and the light is almost blinding. Like the flash from a camera. I ruffle my bangs so that they cover my eyes and blunt out some of the excess light.
“Noelle.” I sign. “Too bright.”
“Sorry, Kris.” she says tiredly.
“Dess.” I put my hand on her shoulder. “Who are these people?” I sign.
“They’re my partners. We’re in a romantic relationship.”
”Really?….but how did you three meet each other?”
“That’s one thing we’re about to tell all of you.” Jasper and Dess both say.
== 7 years ago ==
=== Dess’ POV ===
It had rained hard that night, and I used some of my pocket money to buy another pair of earrings alongside the gold ones Mom had me wear, along with a white leather jacket gifted to me by Asriel, using some of the money his job gave him.
I tuck the box away and walk into the living room, just when Mom enters.
Her expression clouds into one of anger.
“December Holiday.” She says sternly.
I glance up at her, then back down at the open packages.
“What now, Mom?” I mutter.
“Where did you get that jacket??”
“It was a gift from Asriel.” I say.
“Have it returned. It’s not appropriate dress for you.”
“Jeez Mom.” I shoot back. “It’s a bloody jacket, for pity’s sake!”
“Return it now.”
“No. It was his gift to me and I’m keeping it because it’s the right thing to do and I just want to make my own choice in this house for once! Don’t you get tired of leashing up your entire family?”
Mom’s eyes blaze. “I personally will march you up to wherever that thing is from and have you return it.”
My expression remains unwavering. “Wow Mom. And waste all that energy over nothing. While most of your time is spent practically sleeping in your refrigerator of an office and hunched over an off brand computer from the 2000s and you’re complaining over what I do and people don’t really care that much? That’s stooped low, even for you. You worked hard to run an entire town but here you are having a hissy fit over simple wardrobe choices. Get a bloody grip.”
Mom’s voice rises. “Out of this house, December Lucia Holiday!”
“Right, but you’ll be sorry when Noelle ends up a complete mess thanks to you!” I yell.
“Out! For someone who doesn’t respect our etiquette, our formalities, our rules, wears spikes, and listens to sad music, you are not fit to live here!”
“Fuck off, Mom.” I say quietly, packing clothing in a suitcase. “And Lorde’s music isn’t sad. Have some respect for people’s tastes.”
Mom leaves, loudly closing the door behind her.
I take my suitcase, put on two sweaters, and am about to exit into the icy snow filled night when I pause and face the house, only to spot Noelle’s tear stained face as she runs up to me wearing white pajamas with silver snowflakes.
“Dess.” She sobs softly. “Please please please don’t go.”
“I’m sorry, love.” I sigh sadly. “But I have to. It’s not safe for me here.”
Noelle’s sobs grow slightly louder. I brush a tear from her cheek.
“There, there, little one.” I whisper. “Don’t cry now. Everything’s going to be okay.”
She rests her small head against the lower part of my shoulder. I lean in to snuggle her, inhaling the light airy scent of her freshly washed hair.
“Will you still come back for me?” She asks.
“Yes, but soon this place won’t be safe for you either.”
“Can’t I come now?”
“I’m sorry, petite. I can’t. It’d be dangerous to have two kids on the run, let alone daughters of a high status figure.” I say, choking back a small sob. “I…I love you Noelle.” I whisper, stroking her hair and planting a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll stay in touch, I promise.”
I hand her one of my Pom Pom earrings. 
“Good bye, sweet snow Flurry.” I sigh, wrapping Noelle in a hug. “Always keep that earring close, for no matter where I am, I will always be right here.” I point my finger near her chest, then point to mine. “You will always be in my heart, just as I am in yours, chérie.”
I gently tuck Noelle into bed. “Now remember. If you ever feel sad, scared or lonely, you can always write to me, or talk to anyone you trust, like Dad,  Ms Toriel or Ms Alphys. Don’t hesitate to be bold, but don’t hesitate to be vulnerable either, because that’s what makes you strong.”
I open the window in Noelle’s room, and discretely slide through it. After closing and latching it, I wave to her as I trek off into the distance. 
“Goodbye, dear one.” I call out.
Noelle’s sorrow ridden face is the last I see of her. 
Of Hometown.
And deep down I couldn’t hold back my tears. But I didn’t stop to cry until I had managed to find a place far away to stay for the night.
=== Noelle’s POV ===
I brush the tears away from my face, and walk towards the window, and see Dess’ snow blurred figure run off into the darkness.
I hear the sound of knocking, followed by a voice.
“Noelle, what was that crying I heard?”
“Nothing, Mama!” I call out, trying to hold back the sadness in my voice.
“Well then quiet down the racket.” 
I hear her footsteps retreat until they fade completely. I put on a hat and scarf, slowly open the window’s hatch, and slide out. The wind stings my face, but the feeling eventually wears off.
I trudge through the slush covered yard, and spot a crows full of kids, seemingly in a moment of revelry. Then I see a smaller kid in the middle. They have fear written all over their face.
“Hey.” I yell, stuttering slightly. “L-leave that kid alone! They didn’t do anything to you, so why do you have to be so mean to them?”
“Hohoho.” One of them sniggers. “You that Holiday kid? The tiny one? Bet you’re all defenseless without your brave big sis Dess around.”
“Stop it!” I scream. “Leave Dess out of this! She was the best big sister there was!”
“What are ya gonna do, cry?” One of the kids starts pitching their voice up. “Ooooh I’m Noelle Holiday, I can do no wrong and I’m a goody two shoes who wouldn’t dare tell on anybody!”
“NO!” I scream. “No no no! Stop being so mean!”
“Ohhh welll what are you gonna do about it? Run home to your Mommy? Well she can’t protect you because she’s too busy, and your heroic sister can’t save you either because she ran away! You’re all alone, you poor defenseless little know it all.”
That was the last straw.
“I said LEAVE ME ALONE!” I feel a burst of energy build up inside of me, and I feel my body rise up one or two feet off the ground.
One of the kids screams. Gusts rush past my face.
A near blinding flash.
Then I feel coldness. Everywhere.
I open my eyes and I see them flee. One of the kids’ legs appears to be…frozen.
Oh no.
I hurt someone.
What would people do if they found out
I cast a spell
On some random snot nosed kids from who knows where.
“Dess!” I yell. “Dess, where are you?”
Sobs rack my entire body.
I just want my sister back.
I never wanted anyone to fight. Not even my own family.
Not Dess.
But now we are all torn apart.
I run as fast as I can back into my room, shut and lock everything, and pull the covers up to my face.
Something terrible happened, and it was all my fault.
I hear Mom enter my room.
“Noelle, what is all this fuss about? And why are you cold?”
“Mama, what happened to Dess?” I blurt out.
Mom pauses. “She…died, dear. I’ll be planning a funeral right away.”
Mom promptly turns away and shuts the door behind her.
Somehow deep inside I don’t know if that’s true.
== Dess’ POV ==
I walk towards a small building resembling a house, but it’s dimly lit. Through the shades I see several figures moving about. I approach the house, which appears to be old, but in good condition.
The outside is made of worn brick, while the window and doorframes are  made of aged wood.
I enter the house and hear the tinkle of a small bell mounted on top.
I catch a glimpse of my face in a nearby mirror. My hair is messy, and my head and shoulders are sprinkled by a small powdering of snow, dusting it like the sugar on freshly served pancakes. My blue eyes are reddened and watery from crying.
The front of the house is a large sitting room with a small fire blazing in the hearth, a low table with a teapot and two cups, and near the corner, a desk with several papers and a tiny calling bell.
I gently tap the top and it releases a small ding.
I sit down, and hear the sounds of footsteps. I spot an older woman, a wolf with graying brown hair tied into a braid, approach me.
“What’s been troubling you, dear?” She asks quietly.
“Well…” I reply. “I’m-I’m…the mayor’s daughter, and she’s been known to be hard on us. But she doesn’t care about the things we ourselves want to do in life. She controls what I wear, how I act…she expects only the best out of us. Our choices weren’t really our own. But lately things…have started to fall apart.”
“Oh Honey, that’s terrible.”
“Then I had to run away. I couldn’t take my little sister Noelle with me, but inside I think she knows that soon, home won’t be safe for her, if my mother keeps trying to control her like this, then Noelle will end up suffering unbearably with all of the weight of other’s expectations on her shoulders. I really don’t know what to do anymore.”
I burst out in long, ragged sobs. “I’m so sorry for troubling you, I should go.”
“No. It’s okay. Stay for as long as you need.” The woman says, putting both arms around me. “I’m Lapis.”
“December—Dess Holiday.” I whisper.
“Can you at least explain a bit what happened?” Lapis asks.
“She has a fuckton of rules surrounding how we dress…and pretty much everything so when my friend Asriel gifted me a white faux leather jacket just because he wanted to, Mom flipped and kicked me out of the house, but not before I stopped to comfort Noelle. She was crying hard, wanted me to take her along too, but now wasn’t the time. But my mind says she’ll probably run off someday unless Mom does something about all of the…the…”
I trail off, at a loss for words on how to explain the situation.
“About the ramifications of her actions, thinking controlling everything we do is going to affect how other people see us.” I finish.
“But it doesn’t always matter how other people see you.” Lapis says. “Once you’ve known the same people for most of your life, that doesn’t exactly become a concern anymore. They all know you’re not perfect, despite being the daughter of someone who runs an entire town.”
“I know it doesn’t matter.” I say. “The lesson just hasn’t taken root yet. I wish I could let go of all this. I wish my mother would just let go. But it’s all so hard.”
“Listen. Right now. even though you’re on the run, I can promise you dearly, that while your sister can’t be helped right now, and you can’t change your mother’s mind on anything, I know you can change things for yourself. Just take it one step at a time.”
Lapis kneels in front of me, and places one hand on my cheek. “December Holiday. We may have just met, but I know, from all the roots and recesses of my heart, that the choices you make will leave good results in the future. I have faith in you. You just need to find an opportunity.”
I nod. “But this new place…it’s all so unfamiliar to me.”
“Don’t you worry. I know just the person who can help you.” Lapis temporarily retreats behind a door, where I hear her footsteps fade.
“Jasper, honey? Someone wants to see you.” She says from afar.
“Coming!” I hear a voice call out.
I hear more footsteps and the figure that emerges is a younger wolf with short messy hair.
“This is my eldest. He sometimes helps me with running this inn.” Lapis says.
“Dess, right?” He asks.
“Yeah.” I reply. “You’re Jasper?”
He nods. “It’s nice to meet you. Ain’t you the mayor’s oldest?”
“Bahahahah!” I snort, almost slipping into the fa-la-la way the rest of my family laughed, but swiftly and discreetly catching myself before either Lapis or Jasper notice. My voice becomes serious again. “Yes, but she’s also way too controlling. It drove me nuts, tore me from my beloved baby sister and now here I am because I’m tired of living life the way my mother wants me to.”
“W-Well…” Jasper replies, slightly nervous. “When my Mom and I were hauling some firewood back to the inn, I heard you guys arguing since I can hear literally everything happening, and people’s thoughts, I sort of know what’s going on between you and your family. It’s messed up. Also I apologize if I’m being intrusive.”
“No, no, it’s okay.” I say.
“Dess, I feel bad for you.” Jasper sighs. “Really.”
“No need.” I say. “I will—we will find a way out of this, and help my sister.”
Jasper clasps his hand into mine. “And after hearing what happened with your mother, we’ll find a way to get through to her, even if it takes us years. I have a friend that you might like to talk to.”
We walk through the hallways, the faint sound of keys jingling on a loop around Jasper’s neck.
“Fam and I are staying at the inn temporarily since our house is getting remodeled.” Jasper says, sticking a key into a room door with the numbers 128, and slowly opening it. He flicks a light on in the room, closes the door behind him and throws off his sweater, revealing what looks like a very tight tank top underneath.
“What are you wearing?” I ask. “That looks like it…fits a little too well on you.”
“It’s a binder.” He replies. “Helps me get less uncomfortable with my chest. I don’t use it very much, but it’s very helpful.”
“I wish I could get one.” I say softly. “Mom says they’re just another way to injure yourself slowly.”
“What your mother doesn’t know is that there is a way to do this safely. Limit yourself to 8 hours only. 30 minutes to an hour if you’re new to this.” Jasper says. “I can get you measured if you want.”
I nod.
I hear mumbling, and see the covers on the second bed rustle and move, like someone’s underneath. I see a girl with pale olive skin, messy purple gradiented hair with dark roots sit up with her back facing the wall.  She rubs one eye, wipes some drool from the corner of her mouth, and licks both lips. She wears loose black shorts and her chest is bare.
I wince slightly. “Well, that was…a pleasant surprise.”
“Jasper, you didn’t tell me you were going to drag someone over this late.” The girl mumbles. pulling on a maroon hoodie.
“Well, that’s a fine way to introduce yourself.” Jasper says, laughing sarcastically.
“My name’s Eris.” The girl says, extending one hand out to me. She has three earrings on one ear, a silver ring on her right ring finger, two costume jewelry rings on her middle finger, and a sterling silver ring on her index finger that glints brightly in the lamp light’s warm glow.
“Where’d you get that ring?” I ask.
“It was my great grandmother’s. My gran passed it down to me when I turned 13 two months ago.” Eris replies casually.
“That’s really cool. My Mom never lets me wear multiple rings. However I did secretly buy these spike bracelets.” I say. “Mom claims I’d look too ‘angsty’ but who cares?? If my friends and I like them, there’s no point in throwing out perfectly good accessories.”
“My Mom says that they’re just pieces of metal. It’s the wearer who gives them their purpose.” Eris says. “She tells me ‘wear them proudly. Show the world who you are, because your choices can influence how you and others see the world around you.”
I hug Eris. “Thank you.” I whisper. “You guys are the best.”
Waves of thoughts float through my head, and deep in my soul I’ve found people who care about me who come from outside of hometown. With their help, I’ll be able to start a new life.
And help Noelle. Someday.
“Hey Dess, ya wanna go with us to visit Beach Village for the day? It’s only probably a two hour walk from here.” Jasper says. “It has a really cool boardwalk.”
“Sure!” I say excitedly. “I’d love to.”
My voice softens sadly. “A long time ago I’d promised Noelle I’d take her someplace like that. Too bad we can’t do that now.’
“Don’t worry.” Eris says , putting a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll get you a chance when that day comes.”
Jasper floats out of the room and emerges a few minutes later with a rollaway bed.
“I hope you’re okay with staying here with us.’ He says.
“Actually, I’d love to.” I say. It’d be interesting, seeing what lies beyond some tucked away small town.”
Eris grins. “December Holiday, welcome to your new life with fun and friends.”
Back to reality
Dess’ POV
“So that’s how you guys met each other.” Noelle says. “At a motel.”
“Yup. Not a normal way to meet, but it was very fun.” Jasper says.
“I wish I could have a life with you guys. You’re all so awesome.” Noelle says, a hint of sorrow in her voice.
“You can.” I say, hugging her. “We just need to find a way for you to achieve that goal.”
I hear clacking footsteps approach the door.
I know that sound. Even though it’s been years since I’ve heard it.
“Noelle…” I whisper. “We have to go. We’ll come back tomorrow so we can all go to Beach village. In the meantime, give your friends my number and I’ll also give them Jasper and Eris’ contacts in the process.”
All three of them embrace Noelle once more. Jasper plants a gentle kiss on the bruised part of her cheek.
“For your troubles.” He says, laughing softly. “Hope that helps the rest of the wound heal.”
I laugh. “Yeah, me too.”
Then a sob hangs low in Noelle’s voice.
I pause. A small tear runs down her cheek.
“I…don’t want you guys to leave me. If Mom finds out, my personal life is going to be even harder and sadder than it already is.” Her voice breaks and wavers.
“Dear one.” Jasper whispers. “Remember what your sister said?”
“That you’ll always be with me, even when you’re not here physically.” She finishes. “I know…But this feeling, this dark lonely void inside my soul…feels different.”
“What seems to be wrong, Elle?” I ask softly.
“I-I don’t know.” I reply. “I don’t think I have the words to explain it right now…I-“
=== Noelle’s POV ===
We hear a voice from the hallway.
“Noelle! Who are you talking to?! If it was Susie sneaking around, I forbid you not to do so earlier!”
A curse almost escapes my lips, but I quickly bite it back.
“No one, Mom!” I yell, anger tinging my voice. “After everything today, all your relentless bullshi—I mean rules do now is make everything worse!!”
“You dare say such things??” She yells back.
I feel my heart beat rapidly. “Mom, just…leave me alone! Please! I’m tired of this!”
“Very well, but we will have a serious talk about it in the morning.”
“That’s messed up, sister.” Eris mumbles slightly.
I nod. “The dread never really left.”
I hand my phone to Dess, Jasper and Eris, who pass it to each other, type for a few moments, and Dess hands it back to me. In my contacts I see the additions of Jasper and Eris’ names and numbers on the list.
“Thanks.” I whisper.
“No problem.” They all say.
“One more thing.”
I switch to the camera app and hand my phone to Jasper. They all gather around me, and we all grin, Dess’ being warm and radiant, Jasper’s smile being soft and gentle, and Eris’ being excited and filled with energy. Mine is more genuine. Eyes slightly creased.
Dess hands my phone back to me. I save it in my camera roll.
“Thanks for immortalizing this for me.” I say.
The three of them wave, discreetly slipping out the window, and closing it behind them. I see them fade in the mass of people and streetlights.
Susie takes a seat next to me on my bed.
“I’m so sorry, Noelle.” She says sympathetically. “I had no idea you were experiencing something like this.”
“It’s okay.” I say quietly.
“Can you at least explain it a bit?” Kris asks.
“Well, it’s…hard to explain, but it’s like no matter how hard I try, all the things I used to love don’t bring me joy. And whenever I try to think good thoughts, it’s like it’s impossible for me to physically feel happiness. It’s like that emotion is blocked off.”
“Wow, that’s really sad.” Susie says. 
“And…” I say, my voice cracking. “If…If Mom finds out I like you, I’ll never see you again….”
“Because she thinks I’m a bad influence…” Susie adds.
“That’s kind of why I like you.” I say. “You let me free myself from all my mental constraints.”
Susie smiles. “No one’s ever told me that before.”
“And the truth is, I’m always known as ‘that Holiday girl who gets straight As’ but in reality, Mom always wants me to study. I’ve been sleeping poorly for the last few weeks.”
“That happens to everyone.” Susie says quietly.
“But this time it’s different. Now whenever I try to sleep, I can’t. And I’m starting to hear voices. Like my thoughts are talking to me loudly.”
“What do those thoughts sound like?” Susie asks.
“The voices sound like my own, but heavily distorted.” I reply.
“What do those thoughts…say?” Susie adds.
I feel the heat of my anger, the pain of my sorrow, the sting and heaviness of my fear build up inside of me.
Then I hear the voices. Icy cold versions of my own echoing inside of me.
Then I open my mouth, and they all come pouring out of me. The three tumultuous emotions make themselves known as my voice grows loud and anguished.
“They all say…” I begin. “You’re good for nothing. If Mom finds out you’ve been hanging with Susie, who knows what she’ll do to her?? You’re the perfect teacher’s pet and you’ll never succeed without an A! Your sister brings no good to you, her partners will bring disdain to your family as will you if you rebel, you’re a gullible airhead who’s good for nothing, and it doesn’t help you’re hanging out with a lost cause and your love for her won’t help anything. Mom will disown you. Your father secretly hates you. It’s your fault he got sick. Maybe you’re better off locking yourself in your house so you won’t forget your goddamn house key. Noelle, you’ve failed.”
The last few words burst out of me.
“Noelle Holiday, you are a fucking disgrace, and maybe your Mother and the rest of Hometown would be BETTER OFF WITH YOU NOT EXISTING, YOU VILE, FORGETFUL, PIECE OF SHI—“
Susie cuts me off. “Noelle, that’s…terrible. We need to get you help.”
I collapse to my knees as sobs wrench themselves out of me. Loud, long rage filled sounds make my chest heave in and out, like something fighting inside of me.
I feel Susie’s arms wrap around my body. Her steady breathing. The faint but strong thump of her heart.
“Susie, I don’t want you to leave me.” I say in between uneven shaky breaths. “Please! You’re the only reason I’m staying here…Don’t let go of me, please!”
I feel her hand stroke my cheek.
“Shhhh.” She whispers. “Noelle, it’s going to be okay. I’ll be with you as long as I can. I promise.”
I feel Susie’s face reach my ear.
“Remember. I love you. I always will.”
I smile. “Thank you.”
“Should I…tell your Dad what’s going on?”
“Probably. He might’ve heard what happened.”
I hear a knock at my door.
I flinch slightly. 
“Noelle? It’s Dad.”
“C-come in.” I say exhaustedly.
The door opens and Dad enters. His face momentarily takes on an expression of surprise but quickly shifts to one of worry.
“Is everything okay, Snowflake?” He asks.
I pause, then get up and walk over to him.
“No, actually.” I say haltingly. “It isn’t…Dad, I’m not doing okay.”
“Yeah.” He says sadly. “I heard the argument with your mother, I heard you panicking, I heard you telling Susie about all the thoughts inside your head that are making life hard for you. I’m worried about you, Noelle.”
“Everyone else is.” I say.
“Most importantly I was able to listen in on your conversation with Dess. Forgive me if it seems I’m being intrusive…”
“No, it’s okay, Dad.” I reply.
“Noelle, from what I heard earlier with Dess…. If I could do one thing to help you…” He begins.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I think it’s really helping you to be with your sister and her family, so I’ll do everything in my power to help you be with her.”
“But what about Mom?”
“She tends to often make incorrect assumptions that Dess is a terrible person even though they aren't. They just want to keep you safe, Noelle. This is another way for her to do so, especially since your mental health hasn’t been great lately.”
“Okay, Dad.” I say. “We should let Dess know.”
“Perfect.” He grins warmly. “I’ll see if I can video chat with them.”
I look him in the eyes.
“Thank you, Dad.” 
“Anything for both my children.” He says.
“Um…” Susie begins. “Noelle…I’ve been meaning to tell you something, although I hope it doesn’t sound awkward the first time I say it.”
“Go on…” I reply.
“Before I met you, I was lonely. My parents, even though they’re divorced now, were constantly fighting, and I feel like I had no one to talk to. No one to support me. Barely any food. Bad grades. I had no faith in anyone. But when I met you, you felt…different. Even though you’re going through your own problems, you made me realize someone out there cared about me. Noelle, that’s why I love you so much. You gave me a reason to keep going.”
Tears stream down my cheek. I bury my face into the upper left side of Susie’s chest.
“Susie, that’s beautiful.” I reply. “With everything happening, my life is a constant storm of thoughts and emotions and expectations, and sometimes…I feel like I have to be cheerful and happy, but now it’s like…wearing a mask. Like slipping into a costume that isn’t really me. I have to bear the brunt of unfamiliar events that scare the living light out of me with no one to run to for help. Whenever I was having a hard time, Mom expected me to deal with it and move on, but now…it feels like the world is falling out from under me. My stomach is in knots, my head is reeling, I don’t sleep well at night, and even if I do sleep, all the things I do have no meaning, and whenever I talk to Mom, most of the things I hear are about how I’m not good enough!!”
She releases me. I sigh.
“Is all this worth it if all I get from her are my failures laid out in front of me on fine bone china?”
“No. All this isn’t worth it.” Susie says sympathetically. “Rudy an’ Dess and I will help you get out of this. I know it will be worth it.”
“Oh Suz…deep down I think it’s also worth it if it means being with you…” I say quietly.
“Heh. Definitely.”
Then she pulls me in. I feel the warmth of her breath on my face. Our lips touch. My body falls into hers. I inhale the scent of sweat, shampoo, and earth. A strange mixture, but an enticing one nonetheless.
“You’d really do this?” I ask once we part.
“Yeah. If you enjoy it.”
“Please. I want to feel this. It’s unshackling me. It’s a terrible thing in mother’s eyes. It might hurt afterwards.”
I grunt softly. “But it’s the good kind of hurt. At least I’ll remember this when Mom chews me out for nothing. Ahhhh, fuck that, I like this feeling right now. My head is reeling again, but you feel so good…”
“That’s the first time anyone’s said that to me.” She says.
“I hope it stays with you for all eternity.” I say.
“I know it will.”
I hear the sounds of heels clacking.
I sigh angrily.
“Mom’s back.” I say. “Remember that no matter how forbidden this love is, it will never be destroyed.” I say. “I feel angry again. She’ll try to separate us. This…this anger.”
My voice rises. I point to the wall.
“Do it. Like you did it to Kris.”
Dad’s expression morphs to one of surprise.
I feel my body hit the wall. Not too hard, but enough to make it ache.
“Pain.” I whisper. “The good kind. That felt good.”
I laugh. “Yes, and it makes up for allllll those sleepless nights! Thanks Susie!”
“Noelle, I had no idea you—-“
“Are a masochist, yes, my love.” I finish. “After all those years of getting chewed out by Mom for not meeting her extremely high standards, but guess what?? I yearn for the searing sting it leaves. It’s not helping me in any way but I want more of it. It’s a vicious cycle, but what’s the point of breaking it??”
I laugh.
“Besides what’s the harm in snowgraving myself anyway? Mom wouldn’t care!!”
“Noelle…that’s terrible. I don’t want to lose you. Neither would Dess.” Susie says fearfully.
Dad puts one hand on my shoulder. “After seeing how that went, maybe it’s time you get away from here. The damage has run deeper than I thought. Maybe it’s time we consider therapy.”
My voice drops in volume. “Maybe.”
I hug Susie again. “Don’t let Mom get to us. Susie makes everything worth doing for once.”
I lock eyes with her. “Please don’t let go of me.”
“Don’t worry.” She whispers. “I won’t, as long as I get to be worth your time. Wild horses, my dad, or…your crazy mom…won’t ever drag us away from each other. Also I apologize for calling her that…”
“No worries.” I say. “I don’t think she knows it but she’s gone too far.”
“I agree.” Dad chimes in.
“By the way…” I add. “If she wants me to not forget the damn house keys so bad, she can just copy them.” I chuckle. “No harm in that, but there’s no point in getting pissed at someone over some jingly pieces of metal anyway.”
“She needs to chill.” Ora says.
“I’ll let you guys talk it over for a bit.” Dad says.
Dad leaves the room. Everyone sits down. Me on my bed, with Susie joining me, and the others settle onto the couch and floor beside me.
This whole day has been a wild one, but with the support of my friends and my newfound family, I can be free.
I can be with my sister again.
I can be with Susie.
I can heal any wounds that have been left behind.
It’s funny how sometimes the rules your family sets, the harshness, the constant focus on how others see you can secretly hurt you.
But you don’t see it until everything goes up in flames in a burst of anger and pain, love and lust, and the sweet taste of freedom, even if it only lasts for a little bit.
Even though I’m stuck with my mom for a few more days.
A few more exhausting days.
A few more days of her ranting about some outdated etiquette rules.
My phone vibrates. It’s a text from Dad. It’s a habit of his, texting someone from a few feet away from a room or behind a closed door, but I’m used to it.
I glance down at my dimly lit screen and see a notification. After going into my phone’s settings, its wallpaper for both the home and lock screen.
All three of us are smiling, but my smile looks different. Whereas the photos of just me and mom have my smile looking forced.
Fake.
But now, thanks to finding my sister, confessing my love to Susie, and revealing all of the things, both good and bad, going on in my life to my friends and sister, I feel like the weight of all their expectations of me float off of my shoulders.
For the first time in years I can finally be free.
I tap the text from Dad, and the news temporarily breaks my joy filled realization.
We have a family gathering. Both sides are coming.
Fear quivers up my spine. If Dad’s family found out how much I changed, I could handle that. They’re as open and casual as he is and are just as supportive. They’re the part of our family I’m the most comfortable around.
I can be myself around them.
Mom’s family is much more strict and traditional. I’d be an outcast if they knew what went on today. My grandmother would try to separate me from my friends.
My sibling.
My Susie.
In their eyes I would forever be disdained. I’ve always been afraid of them. During their visits Mom would be even more strict.
But from what happened today, I feel stronger.
I am stronger.
If Mom’s family tries to make me feel bad, I can stand my ground. I have allies on my side now.
I’m a little bit nervous. I type back. But I think I’ll be okay. For now.
Just call me or Dess if you feel off. Dad replies. Right now get some rest.
I face the others. Susie flinches away from me.
“Sorry…Was just reading over your shoulder…” She says rapidly.
“No, that’s okay.” I say. “It’s getting late.”
“No worries. Meet up tomorrow?” Ora asks.
“Sure.” We all reply.
“Have a good night.” They say.
“You too…” I add.
Kris, Susie, Ralsei, and Ora slip out the window and softly close it behind them.
I change back into my other clothes and temporarily remove my skull earrings, replacing them with small gold hoops.
I hear knocking at my door.
“Dad?” I ask. “Is it you or the impending ar-mom-a-geddon?”
I hear laughter in response.
“Fahahaha! It’s just me, Noelle.”
“Come in.” I sigh.
He opens the door and sits beside me. “Mom bothering you again?”
“Yeah. Pissed.” I grumble. “Dad, I’m tired. I’m not as scared of Mom as I used to be now that I know Dess is still out there with a life of her own, but I’m also angry. There’s a family reunion, but I’m still scared. Scared that Mom’s family will rip me to shreds. Well except for three of my aunts and the large majority of cousins. Is it bad that cousin Blitz reminds me the most of Dess?”
Dad laughs again. “Well then your mother will have to live with the fact Dess is everywhere!”
His laugh fades. I sob softly.
“You really miss her, do you, sugar plum?”
“I really do.” I whisper. “Every day is harder for me.”
“Just hang in there. Your wish will come.”
“What’s the news on Mom?” I ask.
“She won’t be home for another half hour.”
“Thank god.” I say, relieved. 
“Hey. What say we go to QC’s for dinner? Your mother brought it up this morning before she told you about the bake sale.”
“Sure.” I nod. I put on my leather jacket and switch back to the clothes Catti gave me while Dad waits outside.
“I just hope I can get some clothes of my own that are not formal and Christmas themed. These ones look like they could be mine.”
“We’ll buy you some when we get the chance.”
== Carol’s POV ==
Today was different.
Even though I wasn’t home for very long.
I thought today would be normal, but now, I have to balance the fact I lied to my daughter with the fact Noelle has been acting strange lately.
Even though I only wanted to keep her safe, why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?
I gather a stack of folders and place them on a shelf next to my desk.
My phone vibrates. I pick it up and the screen glows with a name I haven’t seen in years.
Dess.
I tap Accept. Dess’ voice rings clear on the other end, but it sounds a bit different, being slightly but significantly deepened.
“Mom. We need to talk.” She says.
“About what??” I ask, my voice strained.
“About Noelle.”
“What do you want with Noelle?”
“I want to help her. Right now I’m getting a bunch of texts from her about a bunch of…strange feelings.”
“Strange feelings?”
“Mom, I’ve had those feelings before. They got worse before the big fight that led you to throw me out, but I was able to get help but it took a while. I think Noelle is going through this as well because you’re too hard on her.”
“Well I just wanted to put her on the right track.”
“Mum, haven’t you thought that maybe Noelle wants to do the things she thinks are the right things for her? When I saw her—-“
“You talked to her?? I thought I told you to—“
“Enough Mom! All I’m saying is that Noelle isn’t doing okay but you’re too busy to read between the lines. Dad was the first one to notice and I need you to pry your eyes away from your computer, from your work, from your office and take a good hard look at what you’ve done.”
“And how will I know she isn’t okay??”
“Well maybe if you paid attention you would know. I’ll I’m doing is letting you know all of the things going on! I need you to open yourself up to me and let me help her. I called assuming you wouldn’t get so worked up, but apparently I was wrong.”
“No, I’m—“
I pause, at a loss for words. Somehow my anger changes.
“Look, I-I didn’t know Noelle would get this way. All those feelings from when she was born, are…resurfacing.”
“Go on.” Dess’ voice softens. 
“I’m just nervous. I know I haven’t been the nicest person but while we’re not always on the best terms, I’m scared. I’m sad. I don’t want to lose Noelle too. I tried as hard as I could but my schedule is unpredictable. Even when I was just an accountant and landlord.”
“Nervousness is natural.” Dess says sympathetically. “It’s happened to me plenty of times. I just need you to let me help her.”
“But what will my family think??” I say worriedly.
“I’ve stayed in touch with the cousins and aunts Holly and Winter. They’re both quite understanding of the situation.”
“You told them?” I ask.
“Yes. Because they still trust me.”
“And you’re still texting Noelle?”
“Yes. The whole time. But in order to settle things, don’t argue with me about my relationship with my partners. I don’t live under your roof and I don’t want you making any mistakes with Noelle like you did with me, with all those rules. I won’t bother you too much if you don’t want to, but you have to promise me that you’ll let Noelle stay in touch with Jasper and Eris, my partners.”
“Fine, but show me photos of them.”
“First you shouldn’t get mad when you see them but one isn’t who you think they are.”
My phone pings. I tap the photo notification. In the picture are three people, with Dess at the center.
One of them is a human with purple hair tied in a braid. She and the other person in the photo both have silver ribbon in their hair.
My face grows warm.
She never told me this. She never told me she was dating.
I should—
No.
Control yourself. She’s an adult. Let her live her life. Her romances don’t concern you.
Then my anger, my old worries overpower me.
“December Lucia Holiday!” I say loudly.
“Oh my god, Mom, what do you want??” Dess says exhaustedly, her words stretched by a slight southern drawl typical of Rudy’s family. “Are you gettin’ bothered again!?”
“You never told me you fell in love with a human! Get a better girlfriend, not one who came from the people responsible for hurting everyone! What if she secretly hates us?? What if you’re hiding one of the ones who hunted us down??”
“Mom, for heaven’s sake, just shut up and listen to yourself! Do you have any idea how your words are gonna affect my partners’ relationship with you? Even though you’re known for being uptight, Eris still wanted to meet you anyway. This was a chance to go outside your social comfort zone but once she hears what you just said, she’ll be more afraid of you than you think you are of her!”
I hear sobbing on the other end.
“What’s that racket??” I say firmly.
“Mom, shhhhhh! Look what you did!”
Dess pauses. I hear talking on the other end.
Two voices.
“Eris, it’s going to be okay. You’re okay. I’ll see if I can talk to her.” I hear the first voice, which is low and melodic, but slightly feminine sounding.
Then another. Higher. Anguished. With the same slight drawl Dess spoke with.
“I made a mistake. Maybe I shouldn’t show myself to your mom knowing she doesn’t like humans.”
Out of nowhere my phone switches to video.
“Mom, you may be the mayor of Hometown, but if you keep doing this, people will turn themselves away.” Dess says. The girl who cried earlier rests her head on her shoulder.
“Mom, you have to realize that some of the things you did didn’t always have good results. I’m not going to break up with Eris just because of some silly prejudices.”
“You expect me to listen to you after what happened years ago?” I shoot back.
“Sorry Mom.” Dess says, her tone fades into one of sorrow. “You can’t keep runnin’ from your mistakes. You’ll have to apologize to me and Noelle at some point and possibly the whole town. You lied, Momma. You’ll have to accept the fact that you can’t have Noelle do things your way forever.”
“December, stop trying to humiliate me!” I say, my voice cracking.
“I’m not humiliating you, I’m just stating facts…and calling you out. You need to see what happens when you try to control everything. It’ll come back to bite you if you’re not careful.”
“This conversation is over!” 
“No matter what you do, I am still coming over to get Noelle. Believe or not she needs someone to help her process the things she’s had to deal with for 9 years. Just let me take her to my place. She needs a break from you.”
I angrily tap End call and place my phone on my desk. It vibrates once again. I see a text from Dess.
It’s inevitable, Mom. Just apologize to her. It’s not hard.
Do it for Noelle. You know how much she means to me and how much she needs me. You can’t keep us apart forever, you know.”
I see another text, this time from her two partners.
Mrs Holiday, it’s Jasper. You’ll have to consider the fact that you can’t hold on to Noelle forever. Let her go. The more you try to cling to her, the harder it will be to get her back.
Let her go.
Let us help her.
Let us help you too. 
I can’t believe this. I didn’t know something like this would happen.
I tried setting rules. I thought both my daughters would follow them. But now that everything is changing, I can’t stop this from happening.
I need to do something.
I hear a knock at my door.
“Enter.” I grumble.
The person who enters is my secretary Agnes.
“Is everything alright, mayor?”
I glance at my phone and see a text from Rudy.
We have a family gathering later. Both sides are coming.
“For the time being.” I answer bluntly. “Please clear my schedule. I have a family event going on momentarily and I need to get home.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I exit my office, locking the door behind me. After walking through the halls and exiting town hall, I hop into my car and drive off.
== Noelle’s POV ==
I twirl part of my hair on one finger as I stare at the selfie of me and Dess’ partners while fidgeting with the spiked bracelet on my left wrist.
I sigh nervously. and stare at the plate sitting in front of me.
“You okay Honey? You’ve been staring at your pumpkin soup for 15 minutes.”
“I just hope everything will go okay with the relatives, with everything happening right now.”
“Don’t worry. Things will be fine. Come to me if you need help.”
“I-I will…” I say. “It’s just….Dess, you know? I don’t know how Mom will react when she shows up.”
“Relax. When everyone arrives, just talk to them. I’ll talk to your mother about what’s going on.”
“S-sure. Thanks Dad.” I say quietly. “I just hope she lets Blitzen join us. Haven’t had a chance to hang out with him in a while.”
“I’ll make sure she does. I know she doesn’t like him but she’ll just have to deal with the fact she can’t always control which side of the family can come visit.”
My phone vibrates. A text.
From Blitzen.
Heard there’s going to be a gathering at your place. I’ll be there with my little sister Vixy but I figured I’d stop at the diner first.
“I know who came first.” I mutter.
“Everything okay?” Dad asks.
I take my phone and tap call.
It rings. Someone picks up.
It’s Blitzen.
“Hey Noelle. Everything okay?”
His voice still sounds like how I remember it 2-3 years ago, but slightly lower, deepened by 2 years on testosterone, but still slightly feminine sounding.
“Uh…” I begin. “No, not really.”
“Can you tell me and uncle Rudy?”
“Sure, sure. Hold on, I-I…”
Thoughts swirl through my head.
Mom wouldn’t be happy to know I’m not in the house.
Not studying. Not obsessing over everything.
I can’t believe myself right now.
I just want to escape.
Quiet all the voices. Get away from her.
My face warms with anger but I try to keep my expression blank.
A lump forms in my throat.
“This-this feeling, It’s…too much.”
Heck maybe I’m just doing bad things for validation or something.
What if
I’m a bad person.
Like what Susie said to Kris…Another freak.
I’m worthless.
Who knows, maybe that encounter with Dess was another of my anxiety ridden dreams.
Am I just screwing myself over.
I don’t think it’ll be worth it.
Showing my face again, but oh if anyone dares do anything like this to me again, they’ll regret it.
Mom will regret it. I feel bad enough already but Mom is only making it worse.
Pouring salt in the wound.
“Noelle, you there? You’re staring off into the distance and your brow is furrowing. Is something bothering you?”
“Yeah. Everything alright?” Blitzen asks.
Out of nowhere an internal trigger is pulled.
Words shoot out of me.
“JUST SHUT UP, Dad! Leave me al—“ I attempt to say, but cut myself off by clapping a hand over my mouth.
“Sorry sorry…God I’m so stupid.” I say, breathing heavily.
“Something’s not right here.” He says sadly. “Noelle I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
“Yeah, yeah…sure.” I say bluntly. My voice drops to a whisper. “Jesus Christ. Mom’s going to rip me to shreds.”
“Something’s up here.” Blitzen says. “Listen. Before I come to the house, I’m stopping at the diner. I need to know that you’re not ripping yourself to pieces over whatever crazy rules Aunt Carol makes you follow.”
“Blitzen, I just want…..to be free. Every time you’d visit you would always look happy.”
“Because my parents let me do what made me feel good. It gave me a purpose. They never stopped supporting me even when I started taking hormones and transitioning at 17 and when my baby sister was born a day after my birthday.
Noelle. I know you’re having a hard time, but I can help you get through this.
I’ll always be there if you need me. Just like Dess. From your texts, I know what’s going on here. I want to help you.
Please.
I love you, Noelle. I don’t want anything bad happening to you.”
“Fine.” I mumble. “Will you at least help me not be scared of her?”
“Sure. You’re in desperate need of courage. I’m just across the street. See you in a few minutes. Hang in there, alright?”
“Yeah…sure.” I say sadly.
“See you, Elle.” I hear Blitzen blow a kiss on the other end.
We sit in silence. I dig through the pockets of my jacket and find decorative chains. I clip one end on the collar of my jacket and connect the other to my belt loop.
“I have a little surprise for you.” Dad says. He fishes some ticket slips out of his pocket.
The tickets have tour dates, and…
Dess and Eris on the front.
“You got tickets for us to see my sibling?” I gasp. “Wow.”
“Hey, I figured I’d have you see her again and have your Mom see where Dess is now that she’s made a life of her own.”
“Thank you so much.”
I hear the front door swing open with a small tinkling noise.
The person who appears in front of me is Blitzen. He’s taller than I remember him to be 3 years ago. His hair is cut short and buzzed at the bottom, but the rest comes out in dark brown waves. A shock is dyed bright blue. Like Dess’ hair but lighter. He has a heart tattoo on his wrist, wears a navy blue t shirt with part of the bottom cut off, along with a varsity jacket with his full name on the sleeve.
Blitzen Sleighton
A sliver of his binder strap shows through part of the neckline of his shirt.
“Oh my god oh my god.” I gush excitedly. “It’s you. I mean, you sound older, but it’s you.”
“Hi Noelle.” Blitz says warmly, wrapping me in a hug. “Thought I’d stop by.”
“And in the nick of time.” My tone fades to one of resigned nervousness. “It’s just…things are getting hard for me, you know?”
“And I’m sorry you have to go through that. Do you want to hang out at my place?” Blitz asks.
“Of course. I’ll see if I can ask Dess and the others to come over there.”
“You got ahold of Dess?” he says.
“Yeah. She and her partners visited me earlier. They all said they’ll be back for me.”
“W-Oh wow. I didn’t know they’d do that, with how Carol is and all.”
“Yeah.” I say. A waitress walks up with the bill. I hand her several bills and sign both mine and Dad’s names on the receipt.
“Alright. Let’s hit the road to your place.” I say. “Where do you live?”
“Not too far away from the town. I live in this little foresty place located the next town over. Moved there when I was 18 after registering for community college.” Blitz replies.
“Community college? Mom said they had no potential.” I say.
“Well that’s one thing she got wrong. Community colleges can be good for a lot of people. The one I go to has a thriving theater department.”
Blitzen gets down on his knees and cradles my face in his hands.
“Noelle, if you’re thinking about this, where would you want to go?” He asks.
“Well, I…just want to do what makes me happy, and even though Mom wants me to go to one of those fancy Ivy league colleges, I just…want to go somewhere normal. I just want to do the things I like to do versus what she wants me to do.”
“Tell her that.” He says gently.
“That’s what I’m afraid of doing.” I reply.
“I can help you. I’ve done this more than once with this family.”
“Wait, what?” I spit the two words out like I’ve been told something terrible happened on the news.
“Yeah. My side of the family is chill, but I’ve had to fight with your Mom’s parents over my transition. Blitzen has always been my name. It’s only some of my appearance, and my pronouns that changed.”
“I didn’t know you could do that.” I say. 
“The more you know.” Blitzen quips, and the jingle from those educational videos shown to us long ago plays in my head.
“Fahaha good one.” Dad says as I follow him and Blitzen into my cousin’s small dark red sedan.
“You take shotgun.” Blitzen says. “It’ll be easier for us to talk that way.”
“Ahahaha! Mom would never like that term.”
“Yeah well your Mom needs to open up a bit. Live a little.” Blitzen says, his voice softening. A light blue pom pom earring dangles from his right ear.
Dad plops himself in the back seat. We all go silent, with the only sound being the click of the belt as the three of us fasten the buckles on our respective seats.
Blitzen plants a kiss on my forehead. He sticks his key into the ignition and his car roars to life.
“A friend made me this tea…or tried to.” I say, opening part of a small thermos.
“Who’s this friend, tiny one?” Blitzen asks.
“Oh-I um….it’s Susie. She’s—“
“One of your classmates? I get a lot of texts from you about her.”
“We’re in a secret romantic relationship. Mom would probably kill me if she found out. She doesn’t exactly like Susie very much, but I…I really really love her.”
“I got the same reaction from Carol when she found out I fell in love with someone from Beach village. We’re not married but we still live together.”
“Who is this partner?” I ask.
“Someone I met in high school. A bear monster named Olive. They’re quite nice.”
We drive past mountains and rolling hills. The sky turns red as the sun dips into the horizon.
We see trees. Stones.
Then houses.
Time passes. We pull up into a small house with a stone facade, a wooden front door, and a small mural on the front.
“Wow. This is your house?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
I spot something moving a bit inside of Blitzen’s satchel.
“What’s that box thing?” I say.
“It’s a tiny audio recording box.” He replies.
“What did you use it for?”
“I did a series of recordings of my voice over the course of taking low dose testosterone.”
“Can I play one? What button do I press?” I ask.
“Sure, you can play one, and you press one of the number buttons and the recording’s name will appear on the screen. Then press ‘play’.”
“I’ll try that.” I say, pressing a small button on the side of the recorder. Blitzen’s voice rings through the tiny speaker, surprisingly clear and melodic, his tone is warm, filled with joy. I hear a smile in his voice.
“Hi. It’s Blitzen Sleighton and this is my voice 2 years and 4 months on T.”
The recording stops with a small click. I press another button, another recording pops up. The date is different. I hit Play again and hear his voice.
“My name is Blitzen Sleighton and this is my voice after 2 weeks on T.”
“Wow.” I say. “Blitz, all these recordings make you sound like you sort of…grew up again.”
“Trippy, isn’t it? The wonders of transitioning.” He laughs softly.
“Still. You’re so amazing, even though you’re my cousin, I almost feel like you were really sort of meant to be another older sibling. Y’know, brother…or sibling from another mother?”
“I feel the same about you.” He says, grinning.
I take his hand and he sticks the key into his front door, and is about to open it when someone else greets him from inside.
“Blitz! How did everything go? And it looks like you brought some family with you. Uncle and cousin, I’m guessing?” They say.
“Correct.” Blitz answers. “Noelle is hanging out here before the family reunion. She needs someone to confide in during this stressful time.”
“Is something bothering you? I’m Olive, by the way.”
“Y-yes.” I reply. “It’s-it’s just..I-well…My mom. She’s just hard to deal with.”
My voice cracks. “You know, all the rules and the worries and stuff and the fact I can’t talk about my sister without her getting angry or do things that make me happy without getting lectured about ‘what’s best for my future.’ Honestly, it’s tiring, having to force yourself to stay awake just to ace all the work given to me in school.”
Blitz closes the door behind us as we enter into the living room, locks eyes with me, and we both sit down.
“I need to talk to her.” He says. “If you’re up half the night doing homework for days on end, that my friend, is not healthy.”
“I know.” I say. “But it’s the only way to do good in school. I can’t throw that away.”
“Noelle.”
“If I don’t impress everyone and be perfect, my potential will be wasted.”
“Noelle Martha Holiday!”
“I think I failed already.”
“Ellie!” Blitz’ voice grows firm and lowers in pitch. This time he’s not playing around. “Listen to yourself. You’ve had your mind set on unrealistic goals someone else wants you to achieve. You’re pushing your own desires away for the sake of some possibly unattainable goal. Look, Noelle, this doesn’t happen to everyone who goes to an Ivy league college, but if you don’t listen to what your heart and soul say, you’re going to end up unhappy if you keep being a doormat! Don’t you feel that?”
“Yeach.” I say quietly. “I really really want to do things that make me happy, but Mom’s been bothering me way too much.”
“She’s already had probably two breakdowns today.” Dad says. “I saw her. The crying, maniacal laughter, tempers flaring, she argued with her mom when Carol got mad over an earring.”
“This is bad.” Blitz sighs. “Look, she may be my aunt, but she needs calling out. I’ll help you, alright?”
“Okay.” I say.
“One more thing. How did you get that bruise on your face?”
“I’m not very good at anger management because Mom was always the type to sort of be like ‘quiet down and move on.’ and now any time I feel any strong emotions…I push them down. Now I’m a complete mess.”
“I can’t believe she’d do this.” Blitz says sadly.
“That’s how she’s always raised us but now that I think about it and Dess running away,—“
“That’s how she lost them and if she doesn’t fix things, then she’s going to lose you too!” Blitzen interjects.
“Noelle, you have to stand up for yourself more. Without that, you’ll be lost forever. You need Dess. Me. I hope you realize how important you actually are.”
“You really think that?” I gasp.
“Oh yes. Yes you are. The world wouldn’t be the same without you. Susie probably wouldn’t be the person she is without you. Noelle, we love you. We all do.”
“Now that you put it that way, I’ll stay with you, just as long as you help me stand up to Mom, confess my love to Susie, and welcome Dess back into Hometown, and tell them the truth.”
“Thank you.” I say, relieved.
“Anytime.” Blitzen says. “Now what was the name of that tea you were talking about?”
“My girlfriend made it.”
“Oh? And what’s the tea called?” He asks.
“She’s been experimenting with a bunch of herbs, so she blended them together and when I tasted it, the tea was quite flavorful in a good way, and had a bit of a hidden sweetness to it, just like Susie, so like the one in the dark world, I called it ‘Susie tea’.”
Blitzen chuckles softly. “The dark world? That portal in the school’s supply closet? Man, I’ve been there more than once. I think Dess might’ve told me about it once she came back from it, but once I went and returned like she did, it’s an interesting place.”
Fear shivers down my spine.
The dark world.
Dark world.
Cyber world.
Snowgrave.
What if he saw me kill someone.
My heart races. Eyes widen. A lump forms in my throat.
“Noelle? Is everything alright?” Blitzen asks.
“Snowgrave!” I blurt out. “I-I used…snowgrave. I-I-I killed people, I’m—“
“Shhhh.” Blitzen says softly. running his hand across my temple. “It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe.”
“B-but Snowgrave is dangerous.”
“I’ve used it before. If you calm yourself before using it and learn about its effects, it won’t corrupt you. You were forced to use it when you weren’t in a good headspace.”
“Y-you used Snowgrave?” I sob.
“Yes.” Blitzen says softly, his voice almost a whisper. “If you, Susie, Kris, Dess, and her partners all go to the dark world in the school closet, I’ll teach you how to properly use it. as well as cast other ice/snow type spells using a training dummy. Then you won’t have to hurt anyone. No thorn ring required.”
“Oh wow…so that’s how you got the scar on your finger.”
“Yeah. It hurt. Never gonna use magic amplifiers again. That, ladies and germs, is an object you should avoid purchasing.”
I take a sip of my tea, reveling in the smoothness.
“Mmm. Susie tea.”
“By the way, avoid the weirdo in the dumpster.”
Blitzen’s voice rises as he does a crazed impression of a TV salesman, varying in pitch, intonation, and accent to match.
“Hello you [lucky] customers. Step on down and get big deals for the [low low price] of $5.89! Don’t miss it! Now’s your chance to be a…”
Blitzen throws out his arms in one big gesture.
“BIG SHOT!”
“I remember the guy.” I say. “Spamton.”
Blitzen laughs. “Hahaha yeah he was crazy, but if he tries to get me to buy something again, never will I ever buy that goddamned thorn ring again. Don’t wanna repeat past mistakes.”
“Yeah.” I nod in agreement. “Sage advice, brother.”
Blitzen snorts. “Brother??”
“Yeah. I love you, dude.” I say.
He smiles, then hugs me again. “Awww, you too.”
My phone vibrates. I take a quick glance at it and the name reads
Carol Holiday - Facetime call.
“Aw crud.” I mutter. “I bet Mom is going to grill me again for not being in the house. I’m sorry, but she expects me to not decline her calls.”
“Go ahead.” Blitzen says. “I’ll be here when you need me.”
I step into an empty closet and hit Accept call.
I hear Mom’s voice on the other end.
“Noelle.”
“What do you want??” I say, trying to prevent myself from lashing out. “Do you want to keep controlling me??:
“No.” She replies, slightly surprised. “Why aren’t you home?”
“Because I need a break from you.” I say. “I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of you driving me crazy.”
“Where are you? There’s going to be a family reunion and I don’t want the aunts and uncles and my parents thinking I ruined you.”
“Well your parents need to understand that what you did had its limits on me. You may have gotten all that from how they raised you, but they need to know that their standards may not apply to me. I’m from 2022, not the 1940s.”
“They don’t get it.”
“So explain it to them.” I say.
“Well Noelle, I’m…afraid they’re going to make things worse for you than me.”
“Don’t worry Mom, I’ll find a way. I promise.”
“Just…stay safe.”
“Okay.”
“And…be careful around Susie. She’s still known for having a bad reputation.”
“Okay?” I reply, confused. “But Mom, I’m…”
“What do you want to tell me?”
“Never mind.”
“Noelle, what is it?”
“Mom, it’s not important.”
“Tell me. I need to know.” She presses.
“Fine.” I say. “Look, you hate Susie, but I love her. So much. You can’t prevent that.”
“Noelle Holiday, what did you just tell me??”
“I love Susie. I mean, really love her.”
“You mean you fell in love with the very person you’re forbidden to associate with?”
“Mom, enough hating people just because of their background. I told you. I’m tired of this.” I say matter-of-factly. “You’re the very reason I’m hanging over at my cousin’s house. Blitzen cares about me more than you do.”
“She—-He’s your cousin, Noelle. You don’t see him often..”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m staying with him for the night. He understands what I’m going through because he went through something similar. You just blow it off like it’s nothing when it isn’t.”
“Are you saying my rules don’t matter?” She shoots back.
“Well the trivial ones, yes.” I say. “There. You got hit by reality.”
“Noelle Holiday, do not get smart with me, you come home this instant! We are having a serious—”
“No.” Dad interrupts. “Noelle should stay here. She’s been through enough. If you’re always on her case about everything, she’ll distance herself from you. You try so hard to control everything she does and look what happens! You made a huge mistake.”
“How did you end up here?” She asks.
“Noelle and I stopped at QC’s when Blitzen called and said we could hang out at his place.”
“Without my permission?”
“Oh my god!!” I say. “Look, we don’t need to ask you for everything! I didn’t ask to fall in love with Susie, it just happened.”
“What do you see in that delin—“
“Don’t you dare call her that!” I snap.
“Noelle, that’s quite—“
“No. Never ever call her that. If you keep trying to have eyes on everything I do, I’m moving out once Christmas and my 18th birthday roll around.”
“But what do you see in that girl? Surely it isn’t anything useful.”
“Well despite what you think, she sort of gave me confidence. She never bullied me. I’ve disagreed with her many times, and the thing is, I’m afraid of her, but…it feels good. She gives me a rush that I can’t describe. She enables me to do crazy things that the old me would’ve been too scared to do! I still have nightmares sometimes, but now it’s like that fear gives me a thrill instead.”
“Noelle, this isn’t like you! You don’t act like that.”
“This is me. I do act like this. Just not in front of you!” I growl. “This is why I don’t trust you.”
“But I’m your mother.”
“Doesn’t matter. I was afraid of you, but now not so much. I’m going to be at the reunion, so will Dess, but don’t expect me to be hush hush about it.”
“But—“
“No buts.”
“Fine, but don’t expect me to be talking to you.”
“Whatever. Just let us enjoy ourselves. You have no idea how much Dess has changed, even after that phone call. They texted me about it.”
“They?”
“Mom, just shut up, please. Dess changed. Get used to it.”
I hit End call and plop myself onto the couch next to Blitzen and Olive.
“How did it go?” He asks.
“I think I might’ve gotten through to her.”
“I heard everything.” Blitzen says. “If you’re having any issues or if she falls back on her word, let me know, and Susie and I will help you.”
“Yeah but how’m I going to face her when she finds out I’m going to stay here instead of going home?”
“We’ll find a way.” Blitzen and Rudy say together. “We promise.”
I hug both of them. “Thank you all so much.”
“No problem.” Blitzen replies. “Now Noelle, do you want to play Dragon Blazers IV?”
“There’s a fourth installment?” I say a little too loudly, which makes Dad and Olive flinch slightly.
“Sorry.” I say softly.
“There is a fourth. It officially launched 6 months ago. Dragon Blazers got adapted for a portable console as well as mobile. I can help you download it.”
“Wait…I can play Dragon Blazers on my phone??”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Wait but how can I download it if Mom will eventually find out?”
“Oh? I can find the code that enables one to alter these settings, then I can control it for you.”
“You hack, right?”
“Yes. Sometimes.”
“Go ahead.” I say, handing him my phone.
After several minutes of him toggling several settings, he hands it back to me, and I see a new app icon pop up on my home screen.
“Yesss!” I pump my fists. “I can’t wait to play this. Does it have multiplayer mode?”
“It does.”
“I wanna see if I can beat Dess in a game. I feel like they’d flip if they found out. It’s so amazing.”
“I also downloaded it, and I sent the link to Dess and their partners.” Dad says.
My phone buzzes. Another message from Mom.
We have a family reunion. I expect you to be home in 20 minutes.
“Oh no.” I mutter. “Mom needs me to be home and I’m going to end up getting chewed out for wearing the clothes I have on me right now.”
“Well, what do you see yourself wearing to a party? Or whatever events you plan on going to? It can be anything you want.” Blitzen asks.
“Hmmm…” I begin. “Blitzen, Olive, how do you guys feel about wearing suits?”
“Heck, we love suits! Count us in!” Blitzen cheers excitedly.
“Then let’s boogie.” I say. 
“Hold on. I have something for you, and I suggest you change into it.” Blitzen says. “We thought you might like it.” He disappears into a closet and re-emerges with an ice blue jumpsuit and a dark blue jacket with faux fur on the collar. My eyes light up when Blitzen hands it to me.
“This…” I begin. “This is amazing. I love it.”
“It is cool, isn’t it?” Olive says.
“Just a second.” I say, ducking into a spare bedroom. I change out of my old clothes and into the jumpsuit, with the jacket draped over my shoulders.
I wrap myself in a towel and head over to the bathtub, kneel down, and wash the blue and purple dye out of my hair, and find a bottle of magenta dye in one of the cupboards. I lean over the faucet and run the dye through part of my bangs, and wash my hair, with some of the water turning pink from some of the dye. I blow dry my hair and clip some of it in place, away from my forehead with some stray barrettes, and exit the bathroom.
“How do I look?” I say quietly.
“What??” Blitzen exclaims loudly. “You look amazing!”
I grin. “Thanks. So do I. I really like this. What should we do next?”
“Well,” Blitzen says. “I’ll be back. Let me just go change first.”
Olive and Blitzen walk into another bedroom, closing the door behind them, leaving me and Dad alone with our thoughts.
I want to be brave about this. I want to tell Mom and the rest of the family how I really feel about what’s going on, but with my mom’s parents being there, I don’t know how they’d react. I don’t know how they’d react when they find out about Dess. They had always been my older sister to me from the start, but deep down I feel like they’re something more than that. They’re still an older sibling, but maybe they’re something more than a sister, but they’ve only come out to Dad with the fact, but deep down I can feel it inside me too, something different, but the feeling doesn’t even feel like a bad one. We never lost Dess. They just evolved into something bigger. Someone exciting. Except I don’t know if they feel ready to come out to the rest of the family. Maybe they’ll tell Blitzen. Maybe some of the younger cousins. They’re kids. Kids don’t judge you as easily. I don’t know how to tell them about the things I deal with, feeling like being the mayor’s timid, perfect daughter just doesn’t sit right with me anymore.
I want to be brave. I want to do crazy things.
I want to make the occasional mess without feeling bad about it.
I want to be free.
I want to be me.
But I might have to take some big risks to let them all know that fact.
And at the same time I want to do it in a way that doesn’t cause too much uproar. And I also want them to know I’m in love with Susie, and that it is a real thing. It’s not a joke. She hasn’t done anything. We just love each other with no regrets, and that’s just part of life, falling in love.
And I wish Mom would see that. That I’m still me, but I’ve just grown as a person overtime. I have my own interests. I’m not always the blonde brainiac that everyone thinks I am.
My phone vibrates on the table. I pick it up and see a text from Dess.
Noelle. I need to tell you something.
A video call notification from Dess pops up. I tap Accept call. 
“Hi.” I say quietly. “Dess, everything okay?”
“Yeah…sort of. Dad already knows this, but I figured I personally would tell you this. I know your friends trust you, but I wanted to do this heart to heart.”
“I sort of know, but not exactly. I started noticing little signs.” I say. “But go on. Tell me.”
“Noelle. This took me a lot of courage. I’m still the Dess you always know and loved, but I’m also transgender. Non binary too.”
I feel tingling inside of me, like fireworks in my soul.
“Dess, that’s so courageous of you to be telling me this. This isn’t always the only reason, but that explains why your voice has been getting lower. And that explains the ‘doing things’. and the face fuzz. ”
Dess laughs. “Yeah, I’ve been training it, and I’ve been on T for almost 2 years now.”
“Dess…we have a family  reunion going on…but I don’t know how Mom will react when she sees you and your partners.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to come right when everyone else arrives. I’ll see if I can hide in a crowd of cousins or something, but Noe, just remember, she’s not as scary as you think she is.”
I nod. “Okay. I promise to not be too afraid of this.”
“Good girl.” Dess says softly. “I knew you’d be able to do this. See you there, little sis!” They grin. “I love you, Boo.”
The screen goes blank as I tap end call.
“So are you ready?” Dad asks as Blitzen and Olive exit out of the spare bedroom. My eyes flit to both of them, Blitzen is decked out in a dark colored tuxedo with the sleeves rolled up slightly past his wrists, and he wears a small gold ring on his right hand.
“Ooo!” I gush. “That suit brings out the gold in your earrings. It’s so…you.”
Blitzen chuckles. “Thank you. Same with that jumpsuit.”
We exit the house, and all pile into Blitzen’s car, me and Dad and the back seat, Olive in the passenger side, and Blitzen at the wheel.
“Wait!” I say. “Where should we park once we get back home? I hope Mom isn’t taken by surprise when she sees us.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll see if I can park behind a bush or something, but we’ll all have to deal with the fact that she’ll still get taken by surprise regardless.”
== Dess’ POV ==
I walk into the living room and flop onto the couch, staring at several small star shaped hanging light fixtures on the ceiling when my phone vibrates.
A text from Noelle.
We’re back at the house. If you’re joining us, maybe have an entry plan because I don’t want Mom to see you until late into the reunion.
I hesitate, not finding the words to reply to this message. I knew I would see Noelle at this reunion, but I don’t quite know how to properly show up.
Then it dawns on me. I could stay with cousins Blitzen, Vixy, and Emmanuel, aunt Winter’s oldest adopted child. They’ll understand what I’m going through. While the crowd files into the Holiday residence, I’ll make myself inconspicuous.
I’ll be with the cousins. I reply back. If anyone needs help, I’ll be there.
I walk over to the bathroom, which has hairpieces, soaps, and several towels, all of which are folded in drawers next to the sink.
I see a pair of hairdresser’s scissors, and an idea pops into my head.
I walk into Eris’ room where she sits reclined on a beanbag chair with a game controller in both hands. Her purple hair is pulled into a small french braid.
“Eris.” I say, gently tapping her on the shoulder. She puts the controller down and faces me.
“You’re an amatuer hairstylist, yes?” I ask.
She nods.
“I want to see if you can cut mine. Shorter, this time.”
“You want an undercut?” She asks.
“Yes.” I say, showing her an old photo of myself and Noelle when she was 6 and I was 11. My hair is still long, but my bangs are split in the middle and tucked behind my ears, and my hair is tied into a low ponytail.
“Like that.” I say. “But short, with the underside shaved.
“Okay.” Eris nods. We walk into the bathroom and I sit with my back against the bathtub, and my hair over its edge. Eris drapes a towel over me and I feel the weight of a comb running through my hair. I feel Eris sectioning it off and pulling it into rubber hair bands. I hear the sound of the scissors and see sections of my hair landing into a containment dish. The buzz of the clippers on the back of my neck.
She runs soap and water through my hair and washes bits and pieces of old hairs out of it, and refreshes my dye. I feel a burst of air as she gently blow dries and massages my hair with a towel.
She motions for me to stand up, and I see my hair, resembling the style I had as a kid, but much shorter and shaved underneath.
“This…” I say softly. “This is amazing. Thank you so much. It’s going to look so good when we go to the reunion later.”
“There’s a family reunion?” She asks.
“Yeah. At my sister’s house. It’s open to the public too.”
“Noelle is having a family reunion?” Eris says. “Wow.”
“Yeah.” I say. “Let me get dressed. Go get Jasper.”
I slip into my bedroom closet and remove both my T-shirt and sweatpants, and replace them with a white undershirt, white button down shirt, red tie, and maroon vest, paired with back pants. I take my eyeglasses, clean them, and place them back on my face. When I exit the closet, Eris appears wearing a dark blue dress that highlights her full figure, while Jasper stands alongside her with part of his hair tied into a low ponytail, a faux fur vest, and a navy blue jumpsuit.
“You look so perfect.” I say. “You all ready? Noelle’s house is only half an hour away.”
“Yes.” The two of them nod in agreement, and we exit the house to our car, with Eris in the back passenger seat, Jasper in the front, and me at the wheel.
I place my phone on the car’s dashboard and type the directions into my phone’s GPS.
I turn the key in the ignition and we pull out of the garage, and drive away in silence, aside from a few faint strains of chill instrumental music, rich with the harmonic sound of guitar in the background.
The realization that the place I’m headed to is connected to the town I left behind so many years ago hits me hard.
Funny how even when I yearned to get away from Hometown when I was a kid, now deep down I so desperately wanted to come back.
And now is my chance. The question is, how will everyone react when they find out that despite what they’ve been told all these years, I, Dess Holiday, the mayor’s oldest child, is alive, well, and…about to show the world things they’ve never known?
How will I be able to tell everyone without causing crazy things to happen?
How would they treat me?
Most importantly, how would they treat Mom after hearing she’d…lied to them about me dying in a snowstorm years ago?”
Would she be shunned?
Would there be endless publicity?
Mom isn’t always the nicest person, but she doesn’t deserve to be hounded for something she did years ago. While it was a lie, a big one at that, I don’t like dwelling on past mistakes. I may have run away, but fortunately I was able to make some friends, and those two are now the two strongest loves of my life.
I made a name for myself, got a job, did big things, am still doing big things, and most importantly, I’m happy. Making tea, making pottery, teaching guitar and violin lessons, and crocheting in my spare time.
But despite that, I still miss my sister so much.
Toriel.
Asgore.
Asriel.
Kris.
Everyone.
Even church. No matter how many times I refused to go, how many times Mom had to drag me out of the house in a hastily put on Sunday dress. 
No matter how many times I complained to Kris, Noelle, and Azzy about how corny I thought all those church songs were.
But now, after many years, somehow my hands still hang onto the muscle memory in the form of those same songs I strum on my guitar each evening. The callouses on my fingers from years of playing. They were my childhood, but are now a haunting memory showing itself as an ethereal lullaby.
Lingering like a lost girl caught in a snowstorm, the gusts showing themselves so vividly that the sting on my cheek feels as real as the steering wheel in front of me.
I pass by trees, rocks, and hills. Several street signs later, I pass by a large sign marking Hometown’s city limits.
This is it.
I’m home.
I feel Jasper’s hand slide under mine. The warmth hums just under his skin as I run my fingers underneath it.
We pass by rows of houses, until we reach the tall iron gate that opens into Holiday manor. I see rows of cars lining the sides of the road.
I park behind a car I recognize, but don’t bother to point out, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention.
This place was home. It still is, but it’s still unfamiliar to me.
We file through the crowd of aunts, uncles, and cousins, and the youngest, Vixy, enthusiastically runs up to me. 
She is only two years old. My extended family on my father’s side never hesitated to contact me. Even though I had been gone for 9 years, I still got the chance to meet Vixy for the first time a few weeks after she was born. So the family on Dad’s side knew what really happened to me the whole time. But I don’t know how they’ll react when they find out that Mom had been trying to prevent Noelle from ever knowing what happened to me.
No matter what Mom tried to do, covering me, up, “We do not discuss…your sister.” not saying my name, avoiding me like the plague, Noelle still found me.
And despite all the rockiness between her and Mom, I’m still happy that we found each other again.
I hug Vixie, nuzzling my cheek against hers, and quietly greet several cousins, my voice hushed to avoid anyone finding me out.
I have to find Noelle. I only need the right time to do so.
But first, I’m going to say hello to someone. And I definitely know who that someone is.
I walk through several bushes, jump over the fence with Jasper and Eris following me, and cross over to the house of Toriel Dreamurr, our next door neighbor, and Kris’ mother. She may be okay with letting me in.
== Kris’ POV ==
I flick through several text messages posted by Susie, Catti, and several other classmates. I see a group chat from a week ago between both Noelle and Berdly. Both are engaged in a heated debate about the spelling bee the two of them competed in when we were kids.
I peek out my window and see crowds of people filing into Noelle’s house.
Last time I heard, there was going to be a family reunion, friends were going to be invited as well.
I spot someone familiar walking out of the crowd, and…jumping over the fence to my house.
Normally no one jumps over our fence, probably either because Mom is always watching, or people are too scared to jump over the fence. The only person who disregards both is me. Always has been since I’ve always been seen as the impulsive one. The one who has weird habits of sniffing markers and eating things traditionally known as inedible.
The person who jumps over the fence is joined by two more people. I grab a pair of binoculars and aim towards the bottom of the fence. The three people who jumped over the fence appear to be…
Dess, Jasper and Eris!
Except Dess looks different. Their hair is shorter, and they have a blue streak dyed through their hair, and wear a white button up shirt paired with a maroon vest, black pants, and brown leather boots. They have a small trans pride pin on the left side of their vest with the words He/they on the front.
They all came back when we least expected them to, but inside, I knew something crazy might happen.
I dash through my bedroom door, rapidly down a flight of stairs, and into the living room, where Mom sits in chairiel, reading a book. I tug her sleeve.
“What is it, Kris?” She asks. “Is everything okay? Do you need something?”
I point to the front door, then the window.
“What is it?” Mom asks.
“Dess!” I say loudly.
“What is it with Dess?” Mom says. “I thought she-“
“Dess is alive.” I blurt out.
Just when Mom is about to answer, she is cut short by the chime from the doorbell.
“Just a minute.” Mom says, turning to open the door. I see her expression freeze into one of surprise, her mouth dropping open.
“Dess Holiday?? I thought you were living with relatives?“
“No, actually.” Dess says, casually shaking Mom’s hand. “I ran away. I was never living with family. It was too risky. So I decided I’d lay low and stay with a few friends of mine.” They gesture towards two other people, a young human woman with curly purple hair tied into two ponytails, and a blue dress, and a tall wolf monster with his hair tied in a low ponytail paired with a dark maroon jumpsuit.
“Jasper, Eris, my partners.” Dess says. They grin. “It’s good to be here again, Miss Toriel.”
Mom grins nervously. “Likewise, Dess. Also you can just call me Toriel, now.”
“Perfectly okay.” Dess says. They walk in, with Jasper and Eris following them.
“May I ask you something?” Mom says.
“Sure. Go ahead.” Dess replies, sitting on a nearby ottoman.
“Your voice…seems different from the last time I saw you.”
“I was probably…I dunno, 14? I was a kid. I’m 22 now, and I’m trans. Masculine and nonbinary to be exact. And from being away for 9 years, giving myself time to do things that actually matter to me, I feel I’m right where I need to be.” They say, their tone filled with hope and contentment.
“Dess, that’s…wonderful!” Mom says. “Wow…there’s so much I’m getting caught up on. Feels a little strange without you. Your antics made my job…exciting. Teaching everyone in that class. I remember how protective you were over Noelle.”
“Speaking of teaching,” Jasper adds. “Both Dess and I plan to teach here.”
“Really?? Dess…I’m so proud of you.” Mom says. Dess smiles. “And of course I plan to balance it with my music career. Shouldn’t be too hard.”
“You have a music career?” I ask. “Seriously?? How come I didn’t know this when you last visited?”
“I didn’t exactly have time. And the funny thing about transitioning is that as my voice changed, so did my music. I’ve been on hormones for a little over a year now.”
Mom smiles. “I support you every step of the way.”
“Speaking of hormones…” Dess says. They pause. Their eyes widen slightly, and they lightly facepalm. “Dang it! I almost forgot about my injections! Can’t skip those week to week. Hold on a sec.”
Dess disappears into a bathroom and leaves the door ajar. I turn away.
“You can look.” Dess says, unbuttoning both their vest and their shirt. I see them open a small packet with a tiny bottle inside. They uncap a needle, place the syringe into the bottle, draw up some fluid, and slowly plunge the needle into their abdomen. They wince, and the syringe empties. They dab the site with a small patch of guaze, and the small prick mark eventually heals and fades.
“The question is, how do you even have the courage to jab yourself with a needle once a week?” Kris asks.
“You get used to it.” Dess says. “And besides, people know me for often having insanely high pain tolerance, but it all depends on how I’m feeling one day. Sometimes it hurts more, sometimes less. Ice always helps with the pain.”
My phone vibrates, and both Mom and I see a text…from Asriel.
Mom. I’m back from college and I figured I’d stop by. The group text says.
Mom motions towards Dess, Jasper, Eris, and Kris.
“Asriel’s coming to visit.” Mom says. “We better welcome him.”
Energy bursts through me. I bolt from a chair, and in the process, slam hard. into Dess.
“Owww. Holy shit Kris. That hurt.” They giggle.
“And we all thought you could handle it, buuut…” I quip.
“You have to ask first, okay?”
I nod. 
“Also we should probably go. Noelle’s waiting.” Eris adds. We fold into a group and exit the house with Mom waving goodbye.
“Be safe out there.” She calls out as we sneak through the open gate.
“Thanks. Toriel.” Dess replies.
We approach Noelle’s house when we see someone move through the crowd. There in front of us is Noelle herself, talking to two people who appear to be her cousins. One of them appears to be an arctic fox, Noelle’s cousin Emmanuel. Their hair is cut short, but has grown shaggy since they let it grow out. Despite this, they still manage to keep their hair neat with the occasional hair brush or hair piece. They wear a baggy pastel hoodie with several hoop bracelets on their right wrists. From what Noelle has told me, they’ve always been known to have an unconventional fashion sense, as well as a love for jewelry, but they’ve had to hide it from the other side of Noelle’s family.
Inside, I feel like they have a story to tell, but don’t feel ready.
They turned 13 6 months ago, but something tells me they were dreading this.
They wave hello to me, and one of the things handed to them is a book labeled The ABCs and Ups and Downs of puberty for Boys! 
And once Emmanuel takes one glance at the book’s cover, his face fades to a dejected frown.
“What’s up?” I ask. “You okay?” 
“Sort of.” They say.
== Noelle’s POV ==
I spot Kris in a crowd of people with my cousin Emmanuel. They have a book about puberty in one hand, and have their other one interlocked with Kris’ hand. Emmanuel is the oldest child of my aunt Nicole, a sister on my mother’s side who is notorious for being slow to accept people. I walk over and greet both Kris and Emmanuel, who hands the book back to their younger brother Claus.
Emmanuel takes my hand and we exit into the backyard where they sit on the hanging swing, looking up at the clouds.
The light from the sun catches on Emmanuel’s earring, making it resemble a tiny star.
Deep inside I feel like Emmanuel wants to be  who they really feel they are, but they don’t have the courage to share it.
I take their hand and cradle it in mine, sliding one of Dess’ oracle rings onto their finger. They take a long admiring look at the ring, its purple gemstone glinting in the light. They smile. A full radiant grin spreads across their face and a twinkle appears in their eyes. One I haven’t seen in years since that Nutcracker play they did where Emmanuel was cast as Clara because the class cast didn’t have enough girls. I’ve never seen them happier. Despite what others thought, they said it was the best night they’d had in a while.
But that happiness wouldn’t always last. As soon as the play ended, Emmanuel would have to abandon that frilly blue dress for a loose shirt and a pair of baggy basketball shorts. During that time they didn’t have the confidence to make small adjustments to their wardrobe. They went to a clothing store and snuck through the girls section in secret to avoid being found by aunt Nicole and made to put all the leggings and crop tops and blouses back. I could see the look on their face as they trudged back with a handful of polo shirts and loose denim pants. Then when it was time to pay for them, Em didn’t want to. Those clothes weren’t them. They adamantly refused to hand them to the cashier. Aunt Nicole almost forced them to until uncle Geoffrey took Em’s side and told her that if the clothes they brought made them feel good about themself, they should be allowed to wear whatever they please, and that’s when she backed down.
I see a look of surprise flicker into Em’s eyes. They grab their backpack and rapidly rifle through it. Inside is a small trans pride pin with the words she/they written in pen.
I gasp. Em tries to hide it. Then they pause, put the pin out in front of me, and hand me a printed photo of what appears to be them in full makeup…with Dess. Em’s smile is like the one I had in that selfie taken with Dess and his partners.
Dess sneaking into the houses of relatives isn’t a new occurrence. They want to tell people the truth, and open Hometown back up to their presence.
It all fits together now.
“Did Dess…go into your bedroom through your window?” I ask.
“Yeah. They’re really nice.” Em replies quietly. “And Noelle, they told me they’re…trans. Took hormones to drop their voice. But they kept their name. And they’re happy…I want to feel that way too. And this book…This book is showing a process I really can’t imagine myself going through.
Noelle, I think I’m…trans too.”
“Really? Do you plan on changing your name? Some trans and nonbinary people change their names, or in the case of Dess, they keep them.”
“Well…yes.” Em replies. “Now that I realize it, Emmanuel sounds like such a heavy name to carry on these shoulders, and it’s just not mine. It never really felt like it was. And after talking to Dess about it, deep inside, with the way I saw myself, my wardrobe choices, the whole thing with the nutcracker and me wearing makeup,  these cool rings, even though not all these interests fit a certain identity, I know that deep down inside I’m a girl. Didn’t know back then, but thanks to Dess and how they’ve always loved me, I know who I am and who I want to be. ”
“What do you think you’ll call yourself?”
“Em for now, but I’ll get ideas.” They reply.
Then they pause. An idea forms in their head. “Hey, maybe you can think of one. Take your time.”
“Sure.” I say. “Is it okay if I keep it close to your nickname?”
Em nods.
“Manny! There you are.” Aunt Nicole says. “We were looking all over for you. Come inside and mingle. And where did you get those rings?”
“Mom.” Em says nervously. “P-please don’t call me Manny. I really don’t like that name.”
“Oh…Apologies.” Aunt Nicole says stiffly. “I..didn’t know.”
“I have to go.” Em says sadly.
“I won’t leave you.” I say. “I promise.”
“Hey!” Kris calls out. “Noelle, look who’s here! Get the door quick.”
I run towards the front door which thankfully, isn’t far. Surprisingly there weren’t many people near the front of the house, which made the journey easier.
I open the door, and there stands Asriel, Kris’ older brother, back from college, which he recently graduated from.
“Azzy!” I gush excitedly. “It’s been years!”
“Hey Noelle!” I feel him hug me, both arms around my waist. “How has everything been?”
“Ah, well…” I trail off. “Things with Mom have been…complicated.”
“Can sort of see why.” Asriel’s tone drops. “It must be hard when she’s on your case all the time.”
I nod in agreement.
“Noelle!” Dad calls out. “Come and mingle.”
“I will.” I reply. “Azzy just came in right now.”
“Oh good! Did you let him in?”
“Over here.” Asriel says.
“Azzy! Hey!” Dad walks up to hug him. He grins.
“Rudy, so good to see you.” Asriel replies.
I hear the sound of faint footsteps in the far end of the hallway.
Then I see a faint glimpse of blue dyed hair, and a bright red hoodie, but the source of the person with those traits disappears around a corner before I can see who it is.
I sneak around the corner and see Em sitting in one of the spare bedrooms. She has a downcast look on her face.
Then I see…Dess. They have on a red hoodie, but they swiftly remove it to reveal a white button up shirt with a maroon vest.
“Hey, hey…Listen. I know how hard this is  Em, but just know I’ll always be here if you need me.” I hear them say softly. “すべてが大丈夫になります。 約束します．Everything will be okay. I promise.”
“You speak Japanese?” Em asks.
“Yeah. Eris taught me.” Dess replies. “Took me a while but having roughly 87% fluency was so worth it.”
“Dess!” I blurt out. “You—-I can’t-“
“Noelle.” They say quietly. “You came back.”
“Yeah. I knew you’d be there.”
“What happened with Mom?” Dess asks.
“Well, I told her about you. You know, ‘Mom, they’ve changed.’” I drop my voice down to mimic Mom’s formal, stern tone. “‘They’? And I said ‘Mom, just shut up, please. Dess changed.’ Then she tried to argue, but I hung up. I’ve been bothered enough today.”
“Sounds like Mom, alright.” Dess replies.
“Can I talk to you in private?” I ask, taking their hand.
“Sure.” Dess says. “Em, wait here.”
She nods.
We walk into a small closet, filled with clothes and boxes. Dess slowly closes the door behind them and flicks on a light in the room where it only holds just the two of us.
We sit in short silence.
Dess’ hand is clasped in mine. The only sound between us is the steady rhythm of their breathing.
Then I close my eyes. Pictures flash through my mind.
An empty corridor.
Mom’s angry expression growing by the minute.
It’s your fault Dess ran away.
They were too scared to stay with you.
Your mother sees no worth in you.
My breath quickens. A numbness creeps up my legs.
No.
This can’t be happening.
Why?
Why now?
And on a night like this, too.
I can’t let this happen.
The nightmare…
It’s coming. That same dream.
No one can save me.
My breath turns to ragged suppressed sobs.
“Noelle?” Dess asks quietly. “Are you okay?”
Okay?
Is that all you're asking?
I hear the sounds from a thousand voices.
A thousand thoughts.
Noelle Holiday, you’re good for nothing. 
You’ve failed.
“No!” I scream. “Go away, and leave me alone. You’ve already ruined my life and I’m not letting you get me again! Not me, not Dess!”
Oh but you realize you drove them away?
“NO!!” I scream. “STOP IT! Please!!”
My voice wavers. Then sobs rip out of me.
Dess’ face fades into a worried frown.
Tears stream down my face.
My vision is blurred by tears and anxiety. I close my eyes.
Then I hear a voice. Dess’ voice. Humming clearly in my head.
“You’re panicking again. Worse than what happened last time.” They say softly. “Noelle…do you want to share them with me?”
“You…you can do that?” I gasp, my breath still ragged.
“It’s one of the only two things I learned in the bunker’s dark world that I can do in the light world.” Dess replies. I feel their heart beating. A steady thrum.
“O-okay.” I say.
“Now…show me everything.”
I close my eyes. The thoughts come rumbling back again.
Then I see myself again, but as that scared little girl.
I am a spectator, watching everything fold out in front of me.
Then I see Dess. Younger too. Long messy hair tied in a ponytail.
They hug me. Then the scene shifts to a verbal fighting match between Mom and Dess. Everything is silent, but I can practically feel the exchange of violent words between the two of them. Then I see only darkness.
The warm glow of a small lamp pierces the dark, which reveals both me and Dess sitting on a bed.
They are holding me. My sobbing body trembles in their arms as they gently stroke my small head.
Dess had always been there for me, going through thick and thin to keep me safe.
To me, it seemed they could do no wrong.
The scene shifts to a scene taking place in the present day, in the bedroom of the apartment where Dess and their partners live now. Dess tosses and turns in their sleep, jerking up in bed, breathing rapidly, sweat crawls down their temples and dampens the fur on their shirtless body.
Tears stream down their face.
I open my eyes.
At that moment I see tears stream down Dess’ face.
In front of me.
I close my eyes.
Then I hear the sound of fear filled thoughts.
But those thoughts belong to Dess.
I let myself succumb to the echoes of their thoughts.
I see an image of Dess being hugged by both of their partners. A frightened look on their face.
Another image shifts to Dess sitting with their back against the wall of their bedroom, several papers in a pile next to them, their worries radiating off of the journal entries, each with their own ghostly voice.
What if leaving Noelle behind was a bad idea?
What if she cracks from the pressure?
What if this was in vain.
I am scared. What would happen to Jasper and Eris if Mom somehow finds them?
I run through several long corridors, and spot Dess’ Wiffle bat lying on the floor.
Soft but uneven sighing floats through the imaginary hallways.
I pick up Dess’ Wiffle bat and hand it to who I think could be them, but too shrouded in shadows to be sure.
“Take this.” I say softly. “Remember how much courage it gave you? You were so proud of yourself that day. Everything will be okay. Don’t be afraid to take chances in life and do the things you feel are best for yourself.”
“Thank you.” I hear them whisper shakily. “For everything.”
I spot Mom at the end of the hall.
But it’s not Mom. It’s an imaginary manifestation of her. Cold and even more intimidating than in real life.
Even though Dess has been away from her for almost a decade, they are still afraid of her.
I see both imaginary versions of Dess and Mom.
Still arguing. Still so much anger towards each other.
I want to fix this, but don’t know how.
I hope I can fix this.
I realize that Dess never really had much of a chance to heal things between themself and Mom.
Release me please. I whisper. I need to talk to them.
I hear cries of distress. The world spins around me.
Dess’ frightened expression freezes. Then fades. I hear the sound of a soft scream in the distance.
Then I open my eyes. I am still sitting in front of Dess. Tears stream down their face. They sob softly. Despite being away for all those years, despite their voice dropping from transitioning, the pain and sorrow heard in it is all the same.
After all they’ve done for me, now it’s my turn to comfort them.
I take both Dess’ hands and enveloep them in a hug.
“This is hard for all of us.” I say. “But I promise we’ll make it through.”
“Promise?” Dess asks, their voice wavering.
“I promise.” I reply. “We have each other. It’s what siblings do.”
“Thank you.” They say.
“Now let’s go and have fun.” I say. “And the whole family is in for a big surprise.”
“They are.” Dess grins. “With my songs and everything.”
“Speaking of songs.” I begin. A realization pops into my head. “Oh! Dess, when you ran away, you forgot something.”
I lead them to my room where I crouch down under my bed.
“Don’t look yet.” I say. Dess closes their eyes.
I pull back some of the covers and retrieve a red guitar from underneath and hand it to Dess. They open their eyes and their expression morphs into one of surprise. They sling the strap over their shoulder as if they are about to start playing it.
“My guitar…” They say softly. “I didn’t know I forgot this, but you’ve kept it safe for me all these years.”
“I was waiting for the right time for you to play it.” I say. “Do you want to play it during the gathering?”
“Sure.” they reply. “I’d love to.”
“Let’s go.” I say. I hear the sound of Mom’s heels clacking on the hallway.
“Noelle.” She calls out. “Is that you?”
“Quick.” I say, my voice hushed. “Fold into the crowd before Mom finds you.”
Dess nods and slips off.
“Who were you talking to?” Mom asks several minutes later.
“No one…” I say rapidly.
“Noelle…” She says impatiently.
“A cousin.” I lie.
Mom sighs and turns to leave.
I walk away and enter the living room, which is filled with people.
I shift in between aunts, uncles, and cousins, and sit on a nearby couch.
So many things have happened in the span of an entire day. It’s all so crazy, and a lot of these things are good changes, but it’s all happening so fast.
I’m glad it happened, but how am I going to navigate all of this?
How will my friends react when they find out?
Most importantly, how will the rest of town react?
I’ll find out soon enough.
I spy a small satchel near the end of the couch with a slip of paper and a pen sticking out. I probably shouldn’t look through other people’s belongings, but this time I can’t help it, as something in there catches my eye.
I reach in and discreetly grab both the pen and pieces of paper. I expect it to be blank, but instead, in Dess’ jagged handwriting, are sets of song lyrics scribbled on various locations on the paper, paired with several guitar chords and notes. The date appears to be 2 weeks before they ran away.
This song. It was something Dess had been passionately working on for years, except Mom constantly pushing them to do other things they didn’t care about had pushed them back so far in their eyes.
This song is an unfinished story.
I spot Asriel, rapidly fold the paper and hastily stuff it in Dess’ satchel. He walks over to me and sits on the couch.
“Everything okay?” He asks.
I sigh, at a loss for words.
“Not really, but also, yes.” I reply.
“Really?” He says. “How?”
“You’re about to find out.” I say. I hear the faint notes of someone tuning a guitar.
“It sounds like someone’s going to play a song or something.” Asriel says.
== Asriel’ s POV ==
I see several groups of people shift their positions in the crowd. Several figures move too fast for me to pick out who they are. Before I can call out to anyone, Noelle hands me the slip of paper she was looking at earlier.
That slip of paper.
The notes. The chords. The lyrics scribbled in jagged handwriting.
My mind flashes back to 10 years ago. Dess and I were picked to do a group project. They were notorious for hating them. Most of our time was spent with Dess often doodling in the margins of our notepaper. Then one day their mind wandered and they had spent more than an hour writing something while I did most of the notes. Several kids from other grades began heckling me over being a teacher’s pet but swiftly shut up once Dess threatened to smack them to oblivion with their bat.
Despite the fact Dess didn’t always do that much work in class, they somehow managed to keep their grades up without messing with them.
They were fierce.
They were outspoken.
They had a penchant for threatening people.
But they still cared about so many people.
It seemed like things were going well, then one night I got these texts from them.
I was confused. Maybe a little sad, but also, I felt bad for Dess once I realized how bad of a place they were in.
But it’s funny. Dess always seemed so chill and laid back, but this felt different. Even though I could read Dess’ trademark nonchalance in those texts, I felt a sense of urgency in their words. Dess had always been known for taking risks, but little did I know that it would take a very long time before they would come back to tell the tale.
But in the end, Dess is still Dess. They didn’t text me for a very long time until at one in the morning in my college dorm, I got a few more texts.
Time had passed, and at that time I hadn’t talked to them in a while, so I thought they had gone dark, but little did I know that these next few texts would reveal one thing I would learn about my oldest friend. 
Those texts came to me on a particularly bad day, but somehow even if they didn’t intend to, they made me feel better, just being able to actually talk to Dess again after what seemed like a few years of us not talking.
It felt funny. But it also felt familiar.
And at the same time, it felt like our friendship was about to reach a whole new level.
And while it was surprising to me, Dess had always been known as a rebel. The rebel of the holiday family. But this slightly more vulnerable side is one we didn’t always see. They only revealed it when it was just the two of us alone.
And when I saw those texts, they were quite surprising, but also…not really.
I knew something would change, but it seems like a good thing.
Dess told me they’d be back someday. Maybe this is the time they will be.
A voice breaks me from my thoughts.
“I got a text from Dess.” Noelle says softly, her face hovering near my ear. “They said to go into their room and find their journal. There are things in there that we deserve to know about them. And yes, that’s what they actually told me.”
“Are you sure?” I ask. “He might’ve hidden it or something.”
“Dess said his journal is in a hatch under the floor. Only they know where it is. Mom and Dad don’t know it exists.”
“A hatch?” I ask.
“Yeah.” She says.
“Wow.”
Noelle takes my hand. “Let’s go. But tread lightly. I don’t want anyone to hear us.”
We walk down a long hallway and into one of the bedrooms. It still has old movie posters and an RPG variant of Dragon blazers II on a small nightstand.
I walk into the room and crouch down to find the outline of a small hatch near its corner.
Noelle finds a small key and sticks it in a small hole in the hatch and lifts it open. There lies a journal and several folders. It has a detailed sketch on its first page.
The sketch appears to be of Beach village, and several landmarks, along with a mail stamp.
Category:AUs
Category:AU
Category:Alternate Universe
Category:Stories
Category:Deltarune