Craftmatic Bed

Craftmatic Bed is the fourty-seventh prank call in the Crotchety Old Man Calls series.
==Transcript==
(ringback tone)
Jeff: Yes, Craftmatic.
(Milton's Craftmatic bed stalling)
Milton: Oh! Thank God you've answered! Who is this?!
Jeff: Uh, yes, this is Jeff.
Milton: Jeff! I'm stuck in your freaking Craftmatic adjustable bed!
(Craftmatic bed continues to stall)
Jeff: You're what?
Milton: I'm stuck in the Craftmatic adjustable bed! I'm all wedged up inside it right now-!
(bed stalling noises continue)
Jeff: What-uh, what are you do-are you, you can't get out?
Milton: I'm stuck and all folded up around me like a clam!
Jeff: Well, what's that noise?
Milton: That's your stinking machine! It's all wedged up!
Jeff: Well, stop pushing the button!
Milton: I'm pushing the button to try and jar myself loose! What happened was, I guess the-!
Jeff: Sir! Calm down.
Milton: I guess the control pad is all defective...and it's all stuck!
(bed stalling continues)
Jeff: Well, stop pushing it!
Milton: I-!
Jeff: Calm down!
Milton: I'm trying to break myself free! What the hell do I do? It's all closed up around me like I'm in a womb or something!
(stalling noises continue)
Jeff: Will you stop pushing the button?!
Milton: I'm trying to break myself...free...from...this....death-!
Jeff: Stop pushing the button!
Milton: Okay! I stopped pushing the button!
Jeff: How long have you been in there?
Milton: I've been-!
(Milton pushes mattress button again; stalling continues)
Jeff: Stop pushing the button!
Milton: I've been in here, for about, two hours now! Hey! It's starting to move a little bit!
(stalling noises continue)
Jeff: Stop pu-SIR!
(Milton's face gets caught in the mattress, causing him to suffocate)
Jeff: Sir, stop pushing the button!
Milton: (muffled) It's-AH! It's all closed up around my face now! AHH! I can't breathe! AHHH! I-I can't breathe- (wails)
Jeff: SIR! C-calm down...
(stalling noises from bed continue)
(Milton struggling to get out)
Milton: AH! Oh-hold on! Ah! OK!
Jeff: Stop pushing the button...
(Milton gets his face out of the mattress; catches his breath)
Milton: It just let go of my face. Now my body is still all wedged up inside it-
(stalling noises continue)
Milton: Now-now the unit; it's getting very hot! Oh-
Jeff: Sir...
Milton: It's starting to smoke a little bit!
Jeff: Well, o-sir?
(Milton's smoke detector goes off)
Milton: Oh, wait! Oh my!
Jeff: What's your number?
Milton: It set off my smoke detector!
Jeff: What's your number, sir?
(fire ignites)
Milton: Oh! I got a fire!
Jeff: Okay, what's your number? I'll call 911.
Milton: I got a fire!
Jeff: Sir!
Milton: AH! Let me-!
(Milton pushes mattress button again; stalling noises continue)
Milton: (grunting) 
Jeff: Hello?! Hello? Sir?
Milton: What the hell are you people trying to do to me?!
Jeff: If you do not stop pushing the button, I can't help you! Sir!
Milton: Yes?! Oh, wait a sec!
Jeff: What's your number? I'll call 911.
Milton: Hold on! I got a fire extinguisher handy! Hold on!
(Milton extinguishes the fire)
Milton: Okay! The fire-I got the fire out. (groans) I-
(stalling noises from bed continue)
Milton: What the hell are you people trying to do at Craftmatic?! Kill all your elderly customers?!
(stalling continues)
Jeff: N-no-no, sir. I've never heard of this problem before...
Milton: Well, you got a freakin' nightmare on your hands right now, and-!
(mattress closes up around Milton, suffocating him)
Jeff: Sir. Are you okay?
Milton: (muffled) It's starting to close up around me!
Jeff: Sir!
Milton: (muffled) I can't breathe- (suffocating)
Jeff: Are you breathing? Sir?
Milton: (muffled) I can't breathe...
Jeff: Are y-are you okay?
Milton: (hacking and choking)
Jeff: Sir!
(Milton runs out of breath and faints)
Jeff: (to co-workers) Someone...c-call the operator. We'll see if we're gonna have to try and trace this call!
Milton: (wheezing)
Jeff: Sir! Sir? Hello?
(Milton suffocates and dies)
Jeff: Hello?-
(ringback tone)
== Trivia ==
* The Craftmatic Adjustable Bed is a bed built with an electric-powered mechanical frame that can have its position adjusted via a remote.
*Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42-8JrI8DW8
Category:Prank calls