Thorn takes centre stage! - UKIP Hits The Campaign Trail

==Alexander Thorn Speaks to Packed UKIP Events on Campaign Trail!==
M. Puff, Local Cartrian Reporter: "UKIP's Federal Election Campaign has got off to a dramatic start yesterday with Alexander Thorn giving a powerful pitch for the party in a number of States, Firstly Balbarno, then Tarbanos (where the party held its recent conference) and today here in Cartria. Party members have seemed much more enthusiastic and upbeat than they were in 575 with Amber Rudd at the helm and many expect the party to rebound from its failing poll numbers to give a good showing at this election.
Thorn, the firebrand MP, who gave Party Leader Ruth Davidson a good run for her money in the Leadership contest, has been a growing favourite of the grassroots since that contest and recently claimed another big win when he defeated incumbent Deputy Leader, and firm Ruddite, Alun Cairns to become the new Deputy Leader by a vote of 561 to 211 local party delegates.
We now hear he is set to take to the stage here momentarily to launch UKIP's Cartrian campaign and to announce a new raft of UKIP policies. Thorn has been the main architect of this election manifesto since he was chosen to lead the Manifesto working group by Davidson late last year. What is clear, Thorn may have lost the leadership but his influence has only grown since then.
Now over to the stage where Deputy Leader Thorn is taking to the stage...."
Originally posted by Alexander Thorn, UKIP Deputy Leader:
"Thank you, thank you!
HELLOOOOOOO CARRRRRRRTRIAAAAAAAAA!
My my don't we have a lot of you hear today, I hope you arent all just here for the free cookies, I don't think we can afford them for all of you *chuckles*. Now, I know you didnt all come here to hear me ramble... or maybe you did in which case I will have to disappoint but we will be talking about pressing issues.
Can you all remember where you were when that exit poll came through? I certainly can. I was not too far from here, waiting to go to the Reellam count at my local tennis centre. And I was completely calm... Well actually, no I wasn’t. I was completely nervous, unable to sit down, unable to stand still and I was pacing around like a mad man on a mission. And then a moment of calm did descend when I realised there was absolutely nothing more I could do. I was powerless, completely powerless in the face of the real power of the Falleen people.
You realise, the way we talk about these elections is all wrong. We think elections are the moment when we all go round the country and talk to people but actually elections are when the Falleen people talk to us. And what the Falleen people said to all parties in February 575 couldn’t have been clearer: We elect you to do a job, so take decisions, don’t duck them.
And the truth is this: If you do take those decisions – even if the decisions are unpopular and bitterly opposed at the time – and they are rooted in your values and turn out to be the right ones, then people will go on putting their trust in you.
When war broke out we were approached to join the Wartime Coalition by the Socialists. We thought long and hard about this, but decided the war was bigger than any petty political dispute and thus we agreed. Apparently our 'friends' in the Socialist Party didnt get that memo and instead decided to play political games by locking us out of the Coalition. Such war-time camaraderie eh?
But that’s the lesson of the last Parliament, stand by your values and stand up for the platform you were elected on. So we’ve had our instructions from the Falleen people and we say to them: we will not let you down.
You in this hall are going to be the heroes of this campaign. You’re the ones who are going to fight inch by inch, door by door, street by street for a UKIP victory this election. We’re a team, a great team and I’m lucky to count myself part of. I want to thank you. I want to thank you on behalf of every candidate who's standing in this election.
Now I've been told by the big boss I have to talk about our policies. So let me give you an exclsuive announcement of some of our key policies this election.
Firstly, we want to raise the Personal Allowance to reflect years of inflation. This will allow you ALL to keep more of your hard earned money. Afterall, you go out and work hard to provide for yourself and your family you not the Government.
Secondly, we're pledging to scrap the heinous Death Tax. Just because you work hard and manage to squirrel away a little something to leave to your children does NOT make it right for the Government to come along a slap a tax on it when you die. Aren't we already taxed enough? Hell at this rate soon we won't even be able to afford to die!
And finally, I can safely guarantee that my party will never EVER endorse a return of the UDE. Anyone who think's that is a good idea clearly supports the notion of undermining Falleen Sovereignty and is totally fine with a hostile army simply marching into our great nation and telling us what we can and can't do. I can't see how anyone can support that can you?!
Now Cartria, you've been great. I look forward to many more visits to this lovely state and I know we havent always done the best in this State. But as I always say; if not now, when? So lets go out there and fight our corner and show everyone that UKIP is far from a dead horse!"
Category:The Imperial Constitution