King Tweety/Transcript

[The Warner Animation logo appears. The WB logo opens to reveal Tweety as he notices.]
Tweety: Ooh! 
[He flies out of the logo and flies around.]
Tweety: Ho! Ho! Ooh. (laughs)
[He gets in the logo and chuckles before the WB logo closes itself. We then open up in a royal palace as Beep Beep prepares breakfast for a royal figure while humming classical music.]
Beep Beep: Good morning, Your Highness! Ding-dong, ding-dong. Rise and shine! Let's seize the day. It's governing time... (shouts) Oh, no! The queen. She's g-g-g... Gone!
[?]
Tweety: Hmm? I tawt I taw a puddy tat. I did, I did taw a puddy tat! But where did that puddy tat go?
[?]
Tweety: Whoa! Whoa! (laughs)
Sylvester: Oh! Mmm?
Thaddeus Fishley Esq.: (singing) Fishtown ladies sing this song. Doo-dah, doo-dah.
Tweety: (sings) All the doo-dah day.
[?]
Tweety: High-ho, Floorbo, away!
[?]
Tweety: Floorbo! Ramming speed!
Sylvester: Hmm?
Radio: (singing) Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Treats for cats.
Granny: Hey! My jams!
Radio: (singing) Kitties love our treats. They're where it's at.
Granny: Boys! How many times do I have to tell you two to stop fighting? 
Tweety: Puddy Tat started it.
Granny: Sylvester! Bad kitty! (boops Sylvester on the nose) Boop.
Sylvester: He turned me into a fruit salad.
Granny: Why can't you be nice to your brother? You're family!
Sylvester: (scoffs) Some family. My life was very much significantly better when I was an only child. But then Tweety had to show up and ruin everything.
Tweety: Hello!
Sylvester: Ugh!
Granny: Maybe you two are antagonizing each other since we've been cooped up in the house for so long.
Sylvester: (sighs) It has been a long time since we've all had an adventure.
Tweety: If only some sort of fantastical inciting incident would come along. and add some excitement to our dreary little lives.
Anchor 1 (on TV) Pew, pew, pew.
Melanie Blank: (on TV) Breaking News.
Anchor 1 (on TV) Queen watch. Pew, pew, pew, pew. A nation in crisis.
Melanie Blank: (on TV) The Queen of the Canary Islands is missing! Bum-bum-bah!
Tweety: Ooh! Intriguing.
Melanie Blank: (on TV) Good afternoon. I'm Melanie Blank. Local police have been searching high and low for Queen Aoogah, who disappeared from her palace bedroom under… (in a spooky voice) mysterious circumstances. (normally) Aoogah, beloved by both her citizen as well as the international community, has been nowhere to be found for the last three weeks.
Granny: Oh! Tweety! She looks just like you!
Melanie Blank: (on TV) We now return to John Foray live on the island. What's the mood over there, John?
John Foray: (on TV) Bad, Melanie. Everyone here is super-duper sad. It's really bumming me out, to be honest.
Beep Beep: (on TV) So I opened the door and the Queen was missing! I was so distraught that I fainted and bumped my head. And then, I fell forward and bumped my head again! Then I toppled all the way down the stairs… and my pants fell down. But all this physical pain I'm feeling is nothing in comparison to the emotional anguish of knowing that Queen Aoogah is gone! (cries)
Melanie Blank: (on TV) Canary Islands authorities are frantically searching for the next canary in line to the throne. Members of the royal bloodline can be identified by their tiny, delicate bodies… (Granny and Sylvester stare at Tweety’s body, which matches the description) petite, rounded beaks adapted for eating small fruits and seeds… (Tweety munches) and their special tail feathers, rumored to possess mysterious, magical properties, identifiable by their distinctive marking pattern resembling US President and humanitarian, Jimmy Carter.
[Tweety plucks out one of his tail feathers and inspects it to see a Jimmy Carter pattern. He, Sylvester, and Granny are surprised.]
Tweety: Mr. President!
Melanie Blank: (on TV) If you think you or someone you know may be a member of the royal family, officials urge you to call their hotline at… 555-01-Hey-I-think-I-might-be a-long-lost-member of-the- Canary-royal-family- so-I'm-giving-you-a-call-on-this-hotline-I-hope-it’s cool-with-you.
Tweety: Ooh! I got to call in. (dials the number) 555-01 Hey-I-think-I-might-be a-long-lost-member of-the- Canary-royal-family so-I'm-giving-you-a-call… (makes a mistake) Whoops! Hit the wrong number. I'll try again. 555-01...
Sylvester: Give me that! (dials the number) Hello?
Harold: Bark! Is someone here a long-lost member of the royal family?
Sylvester: Well, that was fast.
Tweety: Hey! That's me!
Harold: (gasps) A king! My liege. The name's Harold. I've been sent here to bring you to your new palace. (Tweety gasps) There you'll experience lavish, gourmet meals… untold riches...
Sylvester: Ooh!
Harold: ...and a dedicated royal staff, equipped to tend to your every need.
Tweety: Wow! What a dream come true!
Sylvester: Wow! All that great stuff is for us? Palace life, here I come.
Harold: Oh. Not for you, Mr. Kitty. I'm sorry, but absolutely no cats are allowed on the island.
What? So Tweety gets all this fancy stuff, but not me?
Harold: Afraid not, sir.
Granny: But, sir, Sylvester is part of our family. We don't want to go without him.
Sylvester: Yeah.
Harold: That's the rules. I can't do anything about it. Now, come on. Your solid gold airplane is awaiting!
Granny: Well, we tried our best. Sorry, Sylvester. You'll just have to hold down the fort here 'cause… I'm going on a vacation!
Tweety: I'm gonna be king!
Sylvester: Aww, sufferin' succotash.
Canary Islands, here we come!
Ooh! I'm so excited!
What are you looking forward to doing on the island, Granny?
Well, Tweety. My favorite part
about going on vacation
is you get to do all sorts
of things you don't usually do at home.
You get to see new, exotic sights.
Try new, exotic foods.
And engage in all sorts of new, exotic activities.
Incredible.
After all this time cooped up, I am itching to bust out of my shell and become Vacation Granny.
Hmm.
I wonder what sort of person I'll become, now that I'm the king and all.
Granny: Oh, I'm sure you'll do a great job, Tweety. You're such a sweet little bird. Everyone will love you.
Tweety: I know. I'm a cutie little patootie.
Welcome "a-bird," Your Highness.
Here's your complimentary bag of "me-nuts."
Wow! It's me! In nut form!
Being king is the greatest.
I feel bad that Puddy Tat couldn't come, though.
I wish he was here with us.
Me too, Tweety. Me too.
Sylvester: Success! Infiltration complete. It'll be a chilly day in heck before I let those guys go on a fancy island vacation without me. Plus, there will be so many delicious birds to eat. Now, let me get myself situated for this luxury flight.
Radio: (singing) Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Treats for cats.
Sylvester: I'll just take a cat nap then.
Plane snakes!
Oh, no! Bees!
[yells] Snake bees!
Whoa!
Whoa.
Um... Good afternoon?
Toilet gremlin!
Pilot: (over PA) Good afternoon, passengers. We're about to hit a little itty-bitty turbulence. Nothing to worry about as long as you're inside the plane.
Good one.
Huh?
Phew.
(screams) Somebody help! I'm stuck outside!
Mother...
Sylvester: Oh, no! (screams) My eyes!
Man: It's him. It's really him!
Woman: Hello, Your Highness!
Hello, Your Majesty!
I can't believe my eyes!
Man 2: Oh! He's so beautiful!
Tweety: I'm used to getting attention, but this is really something else.
Diego: Bark! Bark! Bienvenido and good greetings, Your Highness. Allow me to welcome you to the Canary Islands.
Tweety: Hello, puppy! Pweasure to make your acquaintance.
Diego: The "pweasure" is all mine, fair King. I am Diego Von Schniffenstein, court magician, advisor to the royal Canary family.
Whoa!
Wow-ee!
How unbelievably fortunate that we found another heir to the royal throne.
What are the odds?
Ooh!
The family resemblance is uncanny.
My number-one duty is to assist His Highness in his transition to power. Anything you could possibly need, I'm your dog. May I ask? Did His Highness travel to the islands all by his lonesome?
Oh! (giggles)
Oh!
(gasps) Dios mio!
Be still, my rapidly-beating heart.
Your Highness, who is this vision in resort wear?
Oh! This is my granny.
My, my.
When did this become beautiful world? I'm Diego Von Schniffenstein, and your greatest wish is my command, Miss Granny.
Oh! Thank you, doggy. So adorable.
(laughs bashfully) Okay!
Cat!
Izza! Green Bean! Get him!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
Bark, bark. Bark!
Tweety: Stop! That's my brother!
Diego: Your Highness, there's no cats allowed on the island. It's the law. He'd eat all the birds.
Tweety: Well, I'm king and I say you're not allowed to hit Puddy Tat. He's my family.
Diego: Hmm. Fine with me, as long as he behaves himself. Magic!
Izza! Green Bean!
Ball!
Ball! Ball! Ball! Ball!
Sylvester: Where did you say the leak was again, ma'am?
Granny: Sylvester! Did you sneak onto the airplane so that Tweety and I wouldn't be all alone
on our luxury vacation?
Sylvester: Uh... Yeah.
That's it.
Hooray!
Oh! Our royal limousine is here.
Hop aboard, courtiers, and I shall take you on a scenic tour to the palace.
Huh?
Ooh! A fun vacation activity!
This is exactly what I was hoping for.
I'll meet up with you two later.
Granny's gonna do some scootering. (laughs)
Bye, boys! Have fun!
Poetry in motion.
Now, let us away!
Wait! We still have one more person!
Really? Floorbo got a seat on the plane but not me?
We're all here.
Let's wiener.
Pip! Pip!
My Liege, everyone is so excited you're here.
We've never had a monarch from so far away.
All: Ooh!
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Make way for the King!
Magic! Magic!
Wow! I feel like a real celebrity.
Huh?
Hey! Sylvester, my lad!
The citizens aren't food, remember?
Uh... Uh-huh.
You know, everyone on the island was so sad when Queen Aoogah disappeared.
But now that you're here, Your Highness, everyone's back to their normal cheery selves.
You've really reinvigorated the place.
Oh! Looks like a traffic jam.
What's going on up there?
Sylvester: You know, for a place called the Canary Islands, there sure are a lot of dogs here. What's that all about?
Diego: Fun little titbit actually. In Spanish, this kingdom is called the Islas Canarias, derived from the Latin name, Canareae Insulae, meaning, "the Island of the Dogs." So we both live here. So, how does a canary and a feline meow-meow kitty cat become brothers?
Tweety: The puddy tat and I live in a brownstone in New York. Ever since I was born, he's been right here by my side, protecting me and keeping me safe. I really couldn't ask for a better big brother.
Sylvester: Uh... Yeah, what he said.
How touching.
Oh! And we're moving again. Pip! Pip!
Say, speaking of family, tell me about the lovely Miss Granny. Such as, is she seeing anyone? What are her likes and dislikes? Does she perhaps fancy men with severe underbites?
Uh...
Oh!
Uh, we've arrived.
All: Hurray! Our new King is here.
Whee! (laughs)
All: Cat!
Stop it. Now! Stand!
Sylvester: Fahrvergnugen!
Diego: Sorry, amigo. The residents here just aren't used to seeing a cat.
Now, come on, Your Highness,
Let me show you to your new home.
Boy, oh, boy!
My new home! The escapades of the Royal Canaries are storied and vast.
This here is General Chirp Bird. an unbeatable martial tactician. They fought back an army of dog invaders 100 times their own size and prevailed!
Ooh! Historical.
Ah, the good King Peep Bird. A man of science. He ushered the kingdom into an era of unmatched scientific progress and prosperity when he discovered baking soda.
Wow!
Prince Regent Larry Bird, who found great success in your American sport of "baskets ball."
Bird-tastic!
I heard he had solid fundamentals, but his defense was lackluster at best.
Huh. Weird.
And this lavender lady is Queen Honk. She was a famous daredevil and explorer. She personally cartographed some of the islands' most treacherous biomes.
A-ha!
She was also the mother of our most recent ruler, Queen Aoogah. She did so much for our fine people. Island-wide ice cream socials. Bi-weekly variety theatre productions for the children.
High-octane street races for charity. And I also understand that she was an accomplished contact juggler. She truly was the glue that held our island together. But enough about all that. Someday you'll have a portrait of your very own.
Wow! I can't wait!
I bet you can't.
You know, it's awfully bizarre that the previous queen disappeared from this heavily-guarded castle without any clues. Or leads. We should really find out what happened to her.
Diego: Would you like to see your royal bedroom?
Tweety: Yes!
Diego: This, Your Highness, is your room!
Tweety and Sylvester: Ooh!
Tweety: This whole fancy room is for little old me?
Diego: It sure is. Only the best for His Highness.
Tweety: This bed is for me?
Diego: Yes.
Tweety: These clothes are for me?
Diego: They are.
Tweety: This pillar is for me?
Diego: I mean, it's purely structural. But, yeah!
Tweety: This bird bath is for me?
Diego: Everything here is for you.
Tweety: This regular bath is for me?
Diego: Yes, both.
Tweety: This bird bath is for me?
Diego: You already asked about the bird bath.
Tweety: These flowers are for me?
Diego: (annoyed) Yes.
Tweety: This plush carpet is for me?
Diego: Ugh.
Tweety: This bird bath is for me?
Diego: Stop asking about the bird bath! (sighs in exasperation) All of the stuff in the whole castle is yours. That's how being king works.
Wow!
Now this is the life. I could get used to this.
As you should. As long as His Majesty, Tweety, is in charge, all this decadence is yours to enjoy.
For real?
Of course. You're family.
Sylvester: You hear that, bird? Maybe you're actually good for something, for once.
Tweety: I love you too, Puddy Tat.
Speaking of being king, My Liege, your Royal King Day Coronation Ball is tonight.
You need to get ready!
(gasps) A royal ball! Oh, boy!
I got to look my best for all my constituents.
Let's montage!
Harold: Cough, cough. (clears throat and vocalizes fanfare)
Bark! Bird ladies, gentle dogs, non-birdnaries, and all other lovelies in attendance, I present to you our new leader, King Tweety, first of his name!
Tweety: Hello!
Woman: The King is here. The King!
He's so handsome!
(singing) There he is
The most beautiful king In the world, yeah!
Hello. Hello. Hello.
Wow! Everybody loves me.
Harold: And the King's feline brother. Cat man!
Hmm?
Uh, it's Sylvester.
Vest something!
Harold: And Granny! His Highness' Queen Mother. Or Queen Grandmother? It's unclear. I don't really know!
Harold: (gasps) And Floorbo's here.
(whoops) Yeah, baby!
Scoot, scoot, scoot!
Wow! I can't believe all this pomp and circumstance is for me!
Hey! Dude! Stop.
This is all so much fancier than my old home in New York.
That's how it is when you are king, my baby-headed chum.
Every day is a party.
You even get your very own court doofus.
Jinglemeister, do some of your insipid clown nonsense for the King.
Tweety: (laughs) Genius!
This keeps getting better and better!
Puddy Tat! Isn't this amazing!
Hmm?
Huh?
Tweety: I want you to know I'm really glad you're able to be here with me on my coronation day.
Sylvester: Are you kidding me? There's no way I was gonna miss out on all this castle fanciness. I've got servants waiting on me paw on paw.
And thanks for helping me figure out my royal duds for this evening.
I really like playing dress-up with you.
Yeah, I... I suppose we did have a nice time.
And we had so much fun picking out my outfit, I didn't want you to feel left out, so I made you this.
Huh?
Oh. Wow.
Uh, thanks, Tweety.
That's actually really sweet.
You are my brother, after all.
If I'm a king, then that makes you, like, a Dutch or a Duchess or something.
I will treasure it forever.
Granny: Whoo!
Hey, disc jockeys! It's a party.
Play us a tune we can all dance to.
Dog: Ahh!
Tweety: (singing) I'm sitting pretty in my crown on the throne. Guess I'm a royal now. Who would've known?
I can't believe all of this stuff's for me.
Check out your fancy little new bird king
When our queen went missing
We were so so, sad
So sad!
But now His Highness is here.
And that makes us so glad.
So glad!
Sail through the clouds to end all our gloom.
You brought the sunshine that made us bloom.
Boop-boop-shu-bop, what a great day.
I'm really loving this grand soiree.
I'm the king, let's shout hurray.
It looks like everything's going my way!
Sylvester: (sings) I have to admit maybe Tweety's all right. This castle setup here is too dynamite. Hors d'oeuvres, fine clothes, cushions of gold. I sure love living in my brand new home.
Look at me now. I'm splendid, refined. I think I'm gonna leave New York behind. So many things to do, and birds to eat.
Diego: (sings) Don't forget the rules
Sylvester: (sings; chuckles) I'll be discreet. Boop-boop-shu-bop, I really got to say life is a tasty bird-flavored buffet. I'm on a permanent holiday. And for once everything is going…. My way!
Tweety: (sings) Puddy and me, We're like birds of a feather. And now we get to be…
Sylvester and Tweety: (singing) Royals together
Sylvester: (sings) Tweety, my pal, I won't lead you astray. 'Cause it looks like…
Tweety: (sings) It looks like…
Sylvester and Tweety: (singing) Everything is going our way!
Hey, that was pretty cool.
Crazy, huh? We didn't choreograph any of that ahead of time.
Oh! Can't believe this yellow dingus appeared out of nowhere to snatch the throne.
I thought when I got rid of Aoogah, the kingdom would be mine.
Free and clear.
Hmm?
Yeah. Who does this Tweety character think he is?
Diego: We'll just have to make sure this new king has an "accident" as well.
Sylvester gasps in horror.
I planned a series of royal outings for the King tomorrow.
He won't survive the day.
Ha-ha!
Oh, no! If anything happens to Tweety, I'll have to kiss my luxurious castle life goodbye.
Hu-ha-cha.
Sylvester: Tweety! Diego's a bad guy. He wants to take you out so he can steal the throne.
Tweety: Who? Puppy? Nah, he's our buddy.
Sylvester: Bu...bu... bu... bu...
Granny: Yeah, Sylvester. That little cutie couldn't harm anybody. He's a good boy.
Sylvester: No, he's a bad boy. You gotta believe me.
Tweety: Lighten up and have some fun, Puddy Tat. Let's conga!
Sylvester: What? No. Tweety, we need to get you someplace safe. Whoa! Wait. Tweety!
[?]
Sylvester: Oh, but I don't wanna go to kindergarten.
Tweety: All right, puppy. What are my royal tasks for the day?
Diego: We have a whole plethora of fun outings planned for you today, my liege. First up we have...
[reading] Appeasing the local wildlife!
Ah yes, Mount Birdmanjaro, the highest peak...
Granny: Oh, no!
Diego: ...across all the Canary Islands. Home to the ancient and noble Chiff Chaff. On top of her volcanic perch, she has watched over the island and its peoples for centuries. (grunting) Magic!
Every Canary Island king and queen must earn her blessing.
Tweety: Ooh. How do I do that?
Diego: Simple. You do the ceremonial blessing dance in the ceremonial blessing outfit.
Tweety: But I don't have a ceremonial blessing outfit.
Diego: Magic.
Tweety: Whoo! Here I come, big old Chiff Chaff.
Diego: (chuckles menacingly) Very good, King Tweety. The Chiff Chaff is most pleased.
Sylvester: (pants, sighs) What's all the ruckus? Huh?
Tweety!
Ahh!
A-ha, we're safe!
Ahh! Lava!
Ahh! My butt!
Watch out, Granny!
Granny: Oh, those two. Always in such a hurry. Whoopsie!
Ahh!
Ah. Cha-cha-cha.
[reading] Grapesmanship!
These are the famous Lanzarote grape fields. Our grapes, people grow everything inside these volcanic sand pits.
My, my. How exotic.
Whoops!
Here is where they turn the grapes into the finest of juices. Here, have a sample, Your Majesty.
Here you go. Enjoy.
Tweety: Oops. I guess I spilled it.
Diego: Oh, that's okay. I have another.
Ha!
Waiter: Ow.
Sylvester: Ow.
Ooh.
Diego: (groans) Garcon, another juice cup, please.
Waiter: Sorry, mister. We're all out of cups.
Ahh!
Phew.
Oh, well. What's next, puppy?
Uh...
[reading] Sharkrobatics.
Tweety: So this is another thing all Canary Island kings and queens do?
Diego: Indeed, it is. Sharkrobatics is very much a real thing. And not a perilous stunt I made up solely for the purpose of putting you in danger.
Whoo!
Now it can get really reflective on the water out there, so I'm going to apply this cream onto your body. It's most definitely sunscreen and not anchovy paste, a delicious treat that all sharks love. There you go.
Tweety: I can feel the sun protection factor seeping into my pores.
All right, let's go.
Push. 
Whee!
Whee!
Ah! 
Whoo! Whee! (laughs)
Sylvester: Whoa!
Tweety: Oh, hey, Puddy Tat. You here for some tandem ski action?
Diego: (growls) Get ready for a real stunt spectacular, you two.
Cha-chung!
Huzzah!
Whoo!
(laughing) Whoo-hoo!
Huh?
Wee!
Got you this time. Ha-ha!
Hmm? (grunts) I can't see.
Diego: Ahh!
Hurray!
Hurray.
Owl: It's night time.
Sylvester: I can't let Diego and his goons hurt Tweety. Maybe if I get some photo evidence, everyone will finally believe me. It's time to go… Undercover.
Undercover.
Undercover.
Undercover.
Undercover.
Undercover.
Undercover.
Undercover.
Undercover.
Undercover, undercover, undercover.
Undercover, undercover, undercover.
Undercover?
Oh, phew.
Hmm.
Ugh. I can't tell what they're saying. I'm gonna have to get extra sneaky. Cat reflexes, engage.
So Green Bean, you came up with this cake recipe all by yourself?
Mmm-hmm.
Hmm.
Well, I think it's fan-taste-ic.
(chuckles)
Mmm.
Yes, the cake is lovely, but I'm still frustrated. None of my treacherous "accidents" are working.
I thought we would have gotten rid of the King by now.
But his doofus cat brother keeps messing everything up.
Sylvester: "Doofus cat brother"? 
Diego: Hmm. Anyways, we're going to have to resort to Plan B. I just don't know exactly what Plan B is yet.
Well, Green Bean and I had a good idea. Check it out. Normal-looking bird seed cone, right? But then bam! Knife.
Diego: I feel like people will notice, you know, the very conspicuous knife.
Sylvester: Gurgle, gurgle.
Diego: Here, perhaps we should return to our evil plan board.
Sylvester: (gasps) Evil plan board?
Now, let's see here.
Undercover evidence.
What if you use like, a slingshot? Like, a really big slingshot. With a knife in it?
Sylvester: I gotta document this.
Diego: Have we tried dropping a brick on him?
I mean, he is little.
I feel like we could probably just drop a brick on him.
Villains: Hmm?
Bizarre. Hmm.
It may not be very original, but we could do some sort of bird seed dynamite thing.
Sylvester: Jackpot. I could show this to the other guards and Tweety will be safe.
Tweety: Hey, Puddy Tat. Whatcha up to?
Sylvester: Ahh! 
Diego: Huh? Cat spy. Guards! Eat his camera.
Oh, no, you don't, cat.
Tweety: Hello.
Diego: (gasps) The King. (Tweety giggles) Well, well, well. Here I was, trying to come up with a sneaky way to dispose of the King, and you've delivered him right into my hands in secret with no members of the public around to see.
And here I thought you were some sort of useless bing-bong, always getting in my way.
Uh...
This works out perfectly.
Phase one. I'll get rid of His Highness. Then I'll put all the blame on you. After all, no one's going to believe anything you say. You're a cat. Phase two. The Royal Adviser, who is me, will be next in line for the throne. Magic.
I'll be sworn in as the rightful king of the Canary Islands and everyone will be none the wiser. Phase three. The lovely Granny will be so distraught at the destruction of your family, she'll run straight into my arms for comfort, and I'll become your step-dad. (laughs maliciously)
Tweety: (gasps) I'm not a fan of any of these phases.
Sylvester: We're not gonna let you get away with all this treacherosity, Diego.
Tweety: Yeah.
Diego: (chuckles) We'll see about that.
[He dials 911 on the phone.]
Diego: (clears throat and speaks in a high-pitched voice) Yes. Hello? Police station? I need to report a regicide. A cat has eaten King Tweety. Please send your most intimidating officers posthaste.
It's been nice knowing you, puddy tat. 
Izza, Green Bean, to our super-secret base location.
Ha-ha!
Puddy Tat, help!
Magic!
Uh... Different magic.
Ahh!
(sobs) Tweety.
Freeze, cat boy.
Huh?
Canary Island PD.
Officers Gnutz and Siedes reporting for duty. We got an anonymous tip that the King's been eaten.
(gasps) J'accuse!
Put him in the bird cuff.
Sylvester: Huh? No. No. Officers. You've got the wrong guy.
Granny: (gasps) Sylvester, what's going on?
This suspicious individual ate the King, ma'am.
Granny: Sylvester, did you eat Tweety?
Sylvester: No! You've got it all wrong.
That's enough out of you, bird-erer!
We're taking you downtown.
Sylvester: Granny! I didn't do it. It was Diego. You gotta believe me. 
Oh, my!
Aoogah: Oh, hey, you're finally awake.
Tweety: (gasps) Queen Aoogah. You're alive?
Aoogah: Well, I mean, more or less, yeah. Wait. Who are you?
Tweety: The name's Tweety Bird. They bought me here after you disappeared. I'm the new king.
Hmm. New king, huh? So you're a royal canary, too?
I thought I was the only one left.
I guess that would make us... cousins?
You're my cousin?
Wow.
Cousin poses, quick!
Tweety and Aoogah: Hoo-ha-hoo!
Family.
Well, okay, now that we're both here, maybe we can find a way to get out of this place.
Two comically-oversized heads are better than one.
Yeah, that's very true.
Speaking of birdnapping.
How have you been staying alive here this whole time?
Aoogah: Well, luckily for me, Diego didn't realize he put the cage right next to a giant bag of mixed nuts. He's an idiot. And I've been keeping myself sane by reading this discarded, slightly damp New York travel guide. Such a strange, exotic land. The hustle. The bustle. So intriguing.
Tweety: Hey, that's where I'm from.
Whoa! No way. You're from here? Oh, you've got to tell me all about it.
I have so many questions.
Okay. Like, for instance, who is this giant woman?
I mean, she's gorgeous, and I love how green she is.
Oh, yeah.
New York's got an incalculable array of wonderful elements.
We've got hot dog men. Yellow beepie cars. A rat that steals a pizza. And the subway, where if you make eye contact with someone, you get to fight them.
How convenient that we had this tiny slide projector here.
Oh, I must visit this place.
But the best part of New York City is that I get to visit all those fun places with my family.
Aoogah: Your family? Elaborate.
Tweety: Well, I have my Granny and my big brother, Puddy Tat. Interesting names. Interesting people. They're the greatest. We do everything together. Although, I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with them since I've become king. I've been far too busy. I'm really starting to miss them.
Aoogah: Aw. Granny and Puddy Tat sound really great. You know, I've never met any of my family. My mom disappeared before I hatched out of my egg. It's always been just me.
Tweety: Well, now you have me, and Granny and Puddy Tat, too. Welcome to the family, cousin.
Aoogah: Aw. Thanks, cousin. (they both chuckle)
Diego: Oh, what a lovely little family reunion.
Boo.
Ahh!
Hey, let us out of here, you butt nut!
Mind your manners.
Don't peanut me.
Tweety, throw the tiny projector at him.
Hi-yah!
Stop!
Puppy, how could you? I thought you were my friend. We had that whole dress-up montage together. You helped put on underwear.
Diego: Sorry, lad. It was all a ruse. I'm a bad guy. I have to get you both out of my way if I'm going to become… King.
Aoogah: Ugh. Diego, this is incredibly whack of you.
Diego: Sticks and stones, young lady. I'm going to be the most glamorous and popular king this island's ever seen. Everyone will cheer, "Oh, what a handsome and wonderful king we have. Hurrah, hurray!" And the lovely Granny will be my bride. [kisses]
No!
Why are you doing this, puppy?
Because it's my birthright. That's why.
Uh, birth-what now?
Diego: Centuries ago, we dogs arrived here and we were like, "Hey, This is a nice place. Let's make it ours." When we got here, there were a bunch of birds all over the place, taking up space. So we tried bonking them with our swords and chasing them away. But then, the treacherous native birds, led by your family, were like, "No!" And fought back against us. It was extremely rude. The other dogs were cool with it, but not me. A dog is supposed to be in charge, and we were here first. That day, I vowed I would be the one to set things right and return the monarchy to the canines.
Aoogah: Okay, first off, your story specifically mentions that there were natives here. So you were, in fact, not here first. And B, how are you in that flashback? That was hundreds of years ago. What are you, like, immortal or something?
Diego: Yeah, I'm a sorcerer. Of course I'm immortal.
What?
I made an immortality potion. But then I lost the recipe because the recipe card blew out of my hand and fell into the ocean. It was this whole big to-do. But that's not the point. Immortality is nothing without power. So I've been trying to get my hands on the crown ever since. Who do you think has been behind the mysterious disappearances of every single one of the Canary rulers?
What? No.
General Chirp may have been a master of martial matters, but they were no match for my arcane magic.
King Peep? I switched his dumb baking soda volcano out for a real one.
Ahh!
Diego: Larry Bird. I put a rock in his shoe.
Larry Bird: Ow. My foot. Now I have to retire.
Diego: And Queen Hawk… (Aoogah snarls) I snowballed her.
Queen Hawk: Oh, no! Ahh!
Diego: Every canary disappearance in the last seven centuries is all because of me, baby. Which is how I was able to collect all of these. Ha-ha-ha! [both gasp] A tail-feather for every monarch I've deposed.
Tweety: I personally prefer collecting stamps, but to each their own.
Aoogah: You know that idea that our feathers have magical powers is just a myth, right?
Diego: That's where you're wrong, little miss. Watch this.
Ha-ha!
Well, that was anticlimactic.
All that pomp and circumstance for a dumb feather boa?
Diego: It's not dumb. A properly-made boa can give you up to 300 times more power.
(gasps) That's almost 400 times more power.
Plus, look how snazzy I look.
Ooh.
Man, you look whack as heck.
Diego: No, I don't. I look cool. And glamorous. And not whack. I'm what the kids call "minty." (poses) Ooh. Ooh. Magic.
Aoogah: Get my ancestors off your neck, you bungus!
Diego: With no more canaries left after I kidnapped you, I was perfectly set to swoop in and become the new king. But then this little dingle showed up and threw a wrench in my plans. (Tweety giggles) But ultimately, it was to my benefit. Since now I can take your feathers and finally complete my boa, and fulfill my maximum magical potential, which is even better.
(laughs)
You're welcome. 
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a fancy boy coronation to prepare for. Smoke magic!
Tweety: Bye, puppy.
Aoogah: Ugh, what a dweeb.
Tweety: Don't worry, Aoogah. My brother's out there. And I'm sure he'll be here to save us any minute now.
All right cat, what did you do with King Tweety?
Sylvester: (muffled, unintelligible speech) Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
Ugh. I can't understand a word he's saying with that cone on.
Sylvester: What I was trying to say, officers, is that I didn't do anything! I'm innocent!
We found you in the castle, surrounded by the King's feathers with him nowhere to be found!
Explain yourself!
I bet he ate King Tweety.
And I bet he ate Queen Aoogah, too!
Sylvester: What! I'd never eat Tweety! And I couldn't have even possibly eaten Aoogah. She disappeared like a month before I even got here! You've got me all wrong! I'd never hurt a bird!
You'd never hurt a bird, eh?
Then what do you have to say about these?
Uh... These?
Look familiar, pussycat?
Uh, okay, those are all a bit out of context.
Is that you in the bath?
Uh... Ha-ha! No.
Sylvester: Listen! Diego von Schniffenstein, the Royal Advisor, he kidnapped him! He's framing me!
I dunno. Sounds like fake news to me.
Sylvester: Tweety's in danger! You have to let me go save my brother!
A bird and a cat can't be brothers.
They can, and we are!
Come on! Just admit that you kidnapped the King, and we'll let you go… to jail for the rest of your life.
Sylvester: I'm not going to admit to anything, because I didn't do anything!
Fine. We have ways of making you talk.
Radio: (singing) Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Treats for cats.
Sylvester: Ahh! Why do you guys have this song?
It's the first track on our state-issue interrogation compilation!
Tell us where the King is!
Sylvester: I don't know.
Sylvester: Please stop bird-yelling at me! I've told you! Diego took Tweety, not me! You have to let me out of here so we can all look for him!
(screams) He's trying to attack us!
Put him in the iron torso.
Ugh. This isn't going anywhere.
Throw him in the De Laurentiis budgie prison!
Maybe a night in the brig will get you to tell the truth!
Ooh! I love that show!
Sylvester: (straining) Stupid metal shirt… Sufferin' succotash… What am I gonna do? Tweety needs my help, and I'm stuck in here like some goobus. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, buddy. And I'm sorry I've always tried to, you know, eat you. As much as I like the high life, the castle, the fancy parties, I'd trade it all in a heartbeat just to know that you're okay. You are my brother, after all.
Granny: Yoo-hoo, kitty cat!
Sylvester: Huh? Granny?
Granny: Sylvester, I know you're innocent! Look! I found this! Also, I know you'd never try to eat Tweety.
Sylvester: Oh! Of course! No, uh, never!
Granny: Now, come on! I'm busting you outta here!
Vroom-vroom!
Hop on, Sylvester! Let's scoot!
Sylvester: Are you sure you know how to ride that thing, Granny?
Granny: Oh, I think I've got the hang of it!
Sylvester: (sighs) All right, my life is in your hands.
Granny: That's the spirit! Now, let's go save our boy! Ha-ha!
Radio: (singing) Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Treats for cats.
(scats) Meow, meow, meow. Treats for cats.
Huh? The cat! He's escaped
To the police cruisers!
Whee!
So, any idea where Diego took Tweety?
Sylvester: I was hoping you knew!
Granny: I guess we're going to have to comb the whole island, then!
Gnutz: Attention, cat! Pull over so we can throw you back in jail. You're making us look bad.
Granny: Ugh! The po-po! Always getting all up in my biz!
Gnutz: Siedes, Taze 'em!
Siedes: Bang!
Granny: Phew! These two really have our number! I don't know how long I can keep them off our tail!
Sylvester: Mr. 39th President, I don't know what else to do! We need to find Tweety and fast! Please! He's my family!
Uh-huh.
Okay...
Granny! Follow that feather!
You got it! Whoo!
Whoo-hoo!
Deploy the police barricade!
Granny! Watch out!
No barricade's stoppin' us!
Check this out!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ha-ha!
(blows raspberry)
Father Dog: All right! I've placed my priceless vase in its new pedestal, I put my baby to sleep, and I finally finished building my intricate and very fragile toothpick statue of David! Now I can finally relax!
Puppy: (deep voice) Waah.
That ship must be where they've taken Tweety!
But there are no streets out there! That's the ocean!
Granny: Streets? Where we're headed, we don't happen to require streets.
Did someone order a giant cheese?
Whoo!
Oh! You really are good!
We're comin' for ya, Tweety! Whoo!
So, my theory is, I don't think he actually wanted the girl. He wanted Jessie. He wanted to be Jessie's girl. But then he got nervous at the last minute and changed the song because he was worried people would tease him. But he's not fooling anybody. I mean, you never even mention this girl's name, and then you spend the whole song singing about your boy Jessie and what he's up to? Like, we all know what's up, man. Stop being such a coward and tell Jessie your feelings!
Hmm?
Ugh. You've gotta be kidding me.
Kssht.
We switched out our ostriches for penguins! Pretty cool, huh?
Kssht.
-Ugh.
Granny: All right Sylvester, you ready? I'm gonna launch you onto the boat so you can rescue Tweety.
Sylvester: Wait, whaddaya mean "launch"?
Granny: Okay! One, two, three, go!
Granny: Good luck, boy-o!
Oh... Sufferin' succotash.
Oh! 
Uh, good evening, ladies...
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
Huh.
Swish! Swash! Sword!
Swing! Swashbuckle!
Hey, I'm free! 
Throw! Toss!
Huh?
Swing! Miss!
Huh?
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
Chomp!
Oh?
Huh?
Phew!
Both: Huh?
Tweety!
Puddy Tat!
Wait! Your brother is a cat?
Wait! Queen Aoogah is alive?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
We'll explain later!
Just get us outta here!
You've saved us!
Puddy Tat, this is Aoogah! Aoogah, this is my brother, Puddy Tat!
Sylvester: My name's actually "Sylvester." He's never once said it correctly.
Nice to meet you! I guess I'm your new cousin?
Swell, swell, very weird, welcome to the family!
Now come on, let's get out of here!
Diego: Hey!
All: Huh?
Diego: Where do you chump think you're going?
Uh... Out?
Come on, Puppy, just let us go!
We'll be cool!
Diego: No way! I'm not going to let you dum-dums ruin my chance to become king! Feather boa activate!
Ooh. Big dog.
Check me out! I'm fresh to death!
Your death, that is!
Magic!
How are we supposed to beat that?
I got this!
Ha-ha. Ooh, you like this?
Huh?
A little trick... (chuckles)
Behind the back... (grunts)
Magic!
Hey! Don't pull my pants down!
Stop!
Hey, come on! Stop! No! Shoo!
Huh?
Magic!
Huh? Huh? Huh?
Give it up, you clods! I'm the king now!
Tweety: Tee-hee.
Huh?
Ugh. Magic!
Tweety: Tee-hee.
Diego: Magic! Magic! Magic! Magic! Magic!
(laughs) Huh?
Tweety: Tee-hee.
Diego: Gotcha now! Magic!
Thaddeus Fishley Esq.: (singing) Doo-dah.
Tweety: Ooh! A callback!
Bark.
Aoogah!
Heh! Magic!
Huh. The net seemed a lot bigger from up here.
Magic!
Hyah!
Magic!
-Magic!
Magic!
Magic!
-Magic!
Magic!
(laughing) I'm invincible!
How are we supposed to beat this guy?
Nothing we're doing is even putting a dent in him!
Tickle-tickle-tickle!
Stop!
That's it!
Tweety!
Huh?
The feathers!
They're the source of all his power!
We don't have to beat Diego...
We just have to get to his boa!
We just gotta find a way to distract him long enough to get to it.
Sylvester: You two go. I got this!
Puddy Tat...
Hmm!
Both: Brothers!
Sylvester: Hey! Diego!
Diego: (laughing) Huh?
Sylvester: Your boa… (snarls) makes you look stupid!
Diego: How dare you! I look beautiful! Magic!
Neigh.
Huh? Hey! What are you doing?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Stop! My boa!
Oh, no! My magic! No, no, no!
General Chirp!
King Peep!
Hey, guys.
(gasps) Larry Bird!
Tweety: First Lady Lady Bird Johnson!
Lady Bird Johnson: Where families bloom, so does hope!
Aoogah: Charlie "Bird" Parker?
Charlie "Bird" Parker: I play the saxophone!
Of course, you do!
All the kids know who you are, Charlie "Bird" Parker!
How does this family have so many human beings in it?
Mom?
Hey, sweetie! You're all doing great!
Uh, is that a cat?
Hi.
Wow!
Looks like we've got a real family reunion on our hands!
Here, let's give you kids a boost!
Wait. Larry, where did you get a feather from?
Larry Bird: Don't ask.
Join in, Sylvester! You're family too!
Ooh.
Hey, puppy. You've made a fatal miscalculation!
Your magic may be neat and all, but it's nothing compared to the bond between a family!
Whether it's by blood...
Or by love...
When we come together, we're...
All: 3,000 times more powerful!
Whoa. Weird.
The power of family has transformed us!
I get to share an ascended form with Puddy Tat.
This is a dream come true!
Mwah.
Please don't kiss me
in front of all your ancestors.
Uh, guys, is this my arm,
or your arm, or what?
Limb check!
Arms! Legs! Heads! Butts!
Cha!
Funky fresh new body or not, the three of you aren't stopping me!
No, but our family will!
Diego: (snarls) Magic!
Hee-hee.
Huh?
All: Guess who!
Ha!
Ha-ha!
Honk, honk! Coming through!
Larry Bird: Hey, Diego! Think fast!
Huh?
Boo!
Ahh!
Hee-yaah!
Oh, no!
Diego: (screaming) Mommy! Ahh!
Diego: Hey! Stop, you weird little disc!
The roomba sucks him in.
Diego: Ugh, sufferin' succotash.
Sylvester: Did we win?
Hmm?
Bye-bye, Bird family!
See y'all later!
Well, it's time for us to head off now.
Goodbye...
Aoogah: Mom, wait! Will I ever see you again?
Oh, I mean, I'm free most Thursdays. Does that work?
Aoogah: Oh, yeah, sure. I'm available.
Goodbye...
Bye, ancestors. See you later!
Bye!
Well, this has certainly been a day.
Beep Beep: Whoo!
Your Highness! You're all right!
Oh, we were so worried!
Aw, yeah! Let's party!
Granny: Boys!
Tweety and Sylvester: Huh?
Granny: You did it! Ha-ha!
Sylvester: Couldn't have done it without you, Granny!
Whoo! That was nuts!
I think we need a new job!
Aw, yeah! Let's do it!
Well, being king is sweet and all, but it's too much stress for me!
Kidnapping? Battles? Scary magic men? No, thanks! I've had enough!
Yeah.
Living in royal luxury is nice and all, but what I really want is a nice quiet life in New York with my family!
Agreed!
I have had my fill of extreme vacation action!
I'm ready to go home and relax with my boys!
Yeah!
What are you going to do, Aoogah?
Well, I'm excited to get back
to taking care
of all of these fine people...
All: Go! Go! Go! Go! Yeah!
Flexibility!
Ugh, but to be honest, all this drama has really wiped me out.
I need a vacation!
I think we could do something about that!
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