Bart Gets a "Z"/Quotes

:The Answer commercial 
:My life was over.
:I'd lost my job, my husband left me.
:I had to sleep in a kangaroo's pouch.
:And then I found...
:The Answer.
:SECRET DON'T VISIT OUR WEBSITE
:The Answer was discovered by the philosophers of ancient Greece,
:who hid it under a rock
:where it was discovered by the knights of King Arthur,
:who placed it in a bottle and set it in the ocean,
:where it was found by Pat Sajak.
:These great men knew The Answer.
:The Answer is the secret to achieving your heart's desire.
:Learn The Answer, and change your life.
:Available wherever dubious,
:quasi-scientific self-help books are sold.
----
:(Bart visits Mrs Krabappel)
:Bart: Well, Mrs. K, I have just the book, slash, DVD for you:
::The Answer.
::"This book uses the ancient power of wanting."
----
:Bart: Hey. Just because we don't understand electricity, doesn't mean we can't enjoy its benefits.
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:Mrs. Krabappel: (in front of the class) You're children. Why do you all need cell phones?
:Milhouse: Safety.
:Nelson: Emergencies.
:Kearney: Safety.
:Jimbo: Educational.
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:Bart: (watching Mrs Krabappel in her drunken rampage) Uh oh. Do you think we went too far?
:Nelson: Nah. Booze only makes you do things you already wanted to do.
:Mrs. Krabappel: (rolling on a giant globe) I'm queen of the world!
----
:Bart: You know, my dad's more fun when he's had a few beers. Maybe Ms. Krabappel would be more fun if we "Irish up" her coffee.
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:Homer: OK, so there's a big football game on tonight so we can get this over real quick. Show me some of Bart's artwork, give me a little false hope and (hands Zachary some cash and puts it in his vest) here's a little something to help with his grades. I'm not asking for aids, just in completes.
:Zachary: Mr. Simpson, I don't need your money! (hands the money back to Homer) Bart can definitely be a challenge but I like challenges! (choking on laughter) and he's got a wild sense of humor, look at this picture he drew. (holds a picture of Homer strangling Bart).
:Homer: It will be his last birthday if he keeps drawing pictures like this.
:(prepares his fists)
:Zachary: What?
:Homer: I said are there any areas that we his parents can improve upon?
:Zachary: Yes. Just one: Relax. You're clearly a caring father.
:Homer: (quietly sobs) You're the first teacher that ever got me!
:Zachary: (approaches Homer and comforts him as Homer sobs louder) Let it out. Let it out. (Homer continues to sob louder and louder). Keep it in. Keep it in.
es:Bart Gets a 'Z'/Frases