Hah Tu Spek Suthun

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
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JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
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MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
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IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
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RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
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ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
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FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
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BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
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TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
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TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
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HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."
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RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."
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TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
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RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."
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LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."
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FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
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DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
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EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"
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BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
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JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"
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HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
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SEED - verb, past tense.
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VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"
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HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"
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GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"
Category:Language Humor
Category:Redneck Humor