Shrek on Sugar, Shrek on Steroids

(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah; Outside)
Aladdin: Looks like Genie has everything ready...
Abu: Yeah, uh huh.
Cassim: Genie? You have a Genie? Have you used all three wishes yet?
Iago: Oh, please, don't go into it. It's just too painful.
(Genie appears)
Genie: Oh, Al! You're back! And you're front! You're both here! (Genie hugs Aladdin)
Aladdin: That's great, Genie...
Genie: (Puts his hand over Aladdin's lips, silencing him.) Security's tight. No big crowd, immediate family only.
Aladdin: Perfect, because this is my...
Genie: No lowlifes this time, other than the parrot of course. Observe... (Genie pulls out a remote. He pushes a button, and a giant robot comes out.]
Robot: You have violated the perimeter of the Aladdin and Jasmine wedding; prepare to be vaporized, thank you. (A laser shoots toward the group. They all duck)
Genie: Armed and dangerous. I'd like to see one of those Forty Thieves get within an inch of your wedding. (Makes a gesture with his fingers)
Iago: Allow me to introduce...
Cassim: Ha ha, the King of Thieves
Genie: Ah! All units, we have a code red ("Code red" echoes about as dozens of Genies in army uniforms come out of all corners of the Palace. Another posse of Genies, as Scotsman wearing kilts, appears) Come on boys, follow me! (The Genies approach the group, playing bagpipes. Another posse of Genies appear, as soldiers on horses) Calvary commence! Code red! (A plane flies over the palace. Genie soldiers jump out.) Geronimo! Arapaho! Navajo! (Genie, dressed as Pocahontas, jumps out of the plane) Pocahontas! Code red. (Hundreds of Genies carrying guns surround Cassim and Iago.) Do not attempt to move, or we'll be shooting ourselves.
Aladdin: (Breaks through the crowd) Genie!
Genie: Back off, Al. This creep has a yellow sheet as long as my arm.
Aladdin: Genie, meet my dad.
Genie: Stand down boys, smoke 'em if you got 'em. (The other Genies disappear. Genie approaches Cassim) If you're Al's dad, and the King of Thieves, I just wanna know one thing.
Cassim: Yeah?
Genie: (Wearing a tuxedo and a bow tie) Will you be having the chicken or the sea bass?
Aladdin: Come on, Dad. I can't wait for you to meet Jasmine and the Sultan.
Genie: Ahem, Al? (Genie stops him) Don't you think we should lose the 'Agrabah's Most Wanted' look? (Genie pulls down a poster reading "Agrabah's Most Wanted." Cassim's head is in the place of the picture.)
Cassim (Shaking the poster away from him): What's wrong with the way I look?
Aladdin: When you're here, you're not the King of Thieves. (Aladdin pulls down Cassim's mask) You're my dad.
Cassim: (Pulling the cloak away from his head) I've had more practice being the King of Thieves...
Genie: Oh, Come on, enough of this dark past. Let's roll out something a little new.
FATHER AND SON
Genie: It's a big, bright, beautiful future.
(Genie is in the sky as a constellation.)
Thank your lucky stars you're alive
You've got someone special to talk to
(Genie turns in to Siamese twins)
A friend that you can trust for life
You've been on your own with no family ties
(Genie makes a tie appear)
But those solo days are done
You'll be two of a kind, spending quality time together
(Genie wraps the tie around Cassim and Aladdin)
As father and son.
(Genie appears on a ship)
Building model ships
(Genie flies by, riding a fish)
Takin' fishing trips
Working hand in hand
(A paint can appears in Cassim's hand. Aladdin is pushing a lawnmower)
Painting the palace, mowing the sand
(Cassim and Aladdin appear on a football field)
First and ten to go, with your daddy o.
Once you break the ice
(Genie hits the football field with a hammer. It falls away into blocks of ice. Aladdin and Cassim land in a spaceship, driven by Genie.)
You could postulate paternal advice
(Aladdin and Cassim are dropped out of the spaceship. They fly by Genie, dressed as Albert Einstein.)
I see you're traveling at the speed of life. That's the theory of relatives.
It's fine, fantabulous future
(Cassim drops, but is caught on the branch of a tree. Genie is the tree.)
I see fruit on the family tree
You'll be great as a grumpy old grandpa
(Three Genie babies appear on Cassim's knee)
Bouncing babies on your knee
(Genie turns into a basket ball.)
You could fall asleep on the comfy couch, after playing one on one.
(The three play basketball. Aladdin stands on Cassim's shoulders to make a dunk. Genie pouts)
Dreaming back to back that you walloped the Shaq
Together, as father and son.
(Cassim and Aladdin are driving bumper cars)
Cassim: May be a bumpy ride
Aladdin: We'll make it side by side
(Cassim and Aladdin are dropped into a roller coaster. Genie, dressed as a blonde woman, drops the safety bar)
Genie: Good afternoon, I'll be your travel guide
Move over laddy make room for daddy
(Cassim is standing on Genie's shoulder)
Got a whole new shoulder to cry on
Take a chance now, give it a spin
(Genie cuts up some paper. He unfolds it, to reveal the shapes of the forty thieves)
You've had chums for paling around with
(Genie folds the paper up. He unfolds it again, this time it is a cut out of Aladdin)
But you've never had a friend like him
(Genie is a mob don at a restaurant)
Put your checkered past behind you now
(Police sirens go off. Cassim runs)
No more living on the run
(The Brady Bunch opening screen appears, with Aladdin as the top middle square and Cassim as the bottom middle square. Genie appears in the other squares)
Face the big, bright, beautiful future together, together, together, together...
(Genie unfolds his hands. Cassim is now dressed in a blue robe with a red shirt)
As father and son...
(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah; Throne Room)
(Cassim bows before Jasmine)
Cassim: My boy Aladdin must have been born under a lucky star to find such a treasure.
(Cassim stands and smiles at Jasmine.)
Jasmine: You are most definitely Aladdin's father.
(A DNA strand appears in Genie's hand)
Genie: I have the DNA to prove it.
Sultan: It must have been dreadful, trapped by the Forty Thieves!
Genie: Uh oh...
Cassim: I try to block out the memories...
Sultan: Say no more, not another word on the subject!
Cassim: Yes, let's turn our attention to happier thoughts. The blessed union of our children! (Cassim picks the Sultan up and hugs him.)
Sultan: Indeed...
Aladdin: It worked Genie! They love 'im!
Genie: (Genie takes off his scalp) It's the hat. Nothing does the trick like a smart chapeau
Cassim: Ah, back among civilized people, back among family...
Aladdin: It's more than that. All he needed was a second chance.
Cassim: ...It's a miracle.
(Setting: Palace of Agrabah, Dungeon)
(Several thieves are behind bars. A peephole in a wooden door allows them to yell at their betrayer)
Thieves: You'll pay for this! You sold us out!
(Sa'luk slams the door of the hole shut.)
Thief: Ow! He got my nose...
Sa'luk: He's not in there!
(Sa'luk violently opens the door of the next room, where Rasoul, Hakim, and Fazal wait.)
Sa'luk: You didn't capture the King of Thieves?
Rasoul: Because he was not at the hideout.
Sa'luk: He had to be there, where else would he be?
(A young guard steps into the room)
Guard: Apologizes, Captain Rasoul...
Rasoul and Sa'luk: (Yelling) What?
Guard: Well, The Sultan said he won't be able to sentence your prisoners until tomorrow...
Rasoul: What's more important than sentencing my prisoners?
Guard: Why the wedding! Princess Jasmine and Aladdin are finally getting married!
Sa'luk: Aladdin? (Sa'luk grabs the young guard by the shirt) You didn't capture Aladdin with the others? (Sa'luk throws the guard on the ground)
Rasoul: Why would he be with the Forty Thieves?
Sa'luk: Because his father is the King of Thieves!
(Rasoul smiles)
(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah; Hallway)
(Sultan and Jasmine are in the hallway together; Jasmine wearing her wedding dress. Sultan is pacing around the room.)
Sultan: Oh, where could he be? I do hope nothing's wrong. Perhaps we should dispatch a search party?
(Jasmine stops her father's pacing.)
Jasmine: Now father, I'm sure he's... on his way.
(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah; Wedding Pavilion)
(Aladdin and Genie are standing in the wedding pavilion together.)
Aladdin: Where is he?
(Genie turns into Pumbaa from "The Lion King")
Genie: Hakuna Matata! (Genie changes back to normal) Whoa... I was having an out of movie experience. My guess is he wants to make an entrance.
(Setting: Outside the Royal Treasury)
(Iago is looking inside the Royal Treasury, where the Oracle waits. Iago turns to Cassim.)
Iago: Here's the monkey's lock picks. You know how to use 'em?
(Iago drops the lock pick into Cassim's hand.)
Cassim: I promise you bird, after this, I go straight.
(Rasoul steps out from behind a sarcophagus)
Rasoul: Straight to the dungeon!
Iago: Ah!
(Cassim pulls a golden sword out from the pile of treasure.)
Rasoul: We've been expecting you!
(From all corners of the room, guards step out with bows and arrows. Cassim throws the sword aside. The guards approach him.)
(Setting: The Wedding Pavilion)
Jasmine: Do you think something is wrong?
Aladdin: Genie, can you find him?
Genie: I'll sniff him out. (Genie turns in to Pluto and begins sniffing around) I need a scrap of his clothes or a lock of his hair... (Genie smells a shoe that is in his path) Or shoe, a shoe's good...
(Genie looks up and sees that the shoe belongs to Cassim. Genie gasps. Rasoul is holding a handcuffed Cassim.)
Aladdin: Huh?
Sultan: Rasoul, what is the meaning of this?
Rasoul: (Rasoul pushes Cassim toward the Sultan) Your majesty, meet the King of Thieves.
Aladdin: Dad!
(Aladdin tries to confront Cassim, but guards hold him back. Cassim is surprised by his son's compassion)
Rasoul: We seized him in the Treasury. He was after this... (shows the Oracle) ...again.
Aladdin: (in disbelief) No...
Rasoul: And this is his accomplice.
(Nahbi reveals Iago, trapped in a cuff.)
Iago: Big misunderstanding! It's a slap on the wrist and, uh, community service kinda thing!
Aladdin: Now I know why you really came back...
(Cassim hangs his head)
Sultan: Your father is the leader of the Forty Thieves? This is most... ooh!
Jasmine: Aladdin, did you know?
Aladdin: I thought I could change him, I had to try!
Cassim: You can change my clothes Aladdin, you can't change who I am.
Rasoul: And the law is crystal clear on what we must now do!
Jasmine: (Puts her hand on Sultan's shoulder) Father, isn't there another way?
Sultan: I'm afraid there is not. Take the prisoners to the dungeon.
Iago: Dungeon?
Sultan: For life.
Iago: Life?
(Nahbi puts a cuff over Iago's beak. Cassim and Iago are led away)
Genie: (To Aladdin) There's some wishes that even I can't make come true...
(Setting: Agrabah, Aladdin's Hovel)
Aladdin: The Oracle was right. My dad was trapped in the world of the Forty Thieves. Trapped by his own greed. I was so stupid to think I could change him.
Genie: Trying to show him a better life wasn't stupid, Al. (Using his fist as a puppet) Leaving him alone with the parrot, that was stupid.
Aladdin: Everything was perfect before he came into my life. I just want things the way they were. Genie, I need my father's clothes.
Genie: A-A-Al, what did you wrap the turban too tight? (Genie makes a twisty motion with his fingers) Come on, why would you want to dress in the 'King of Thieves' ensemble?
(Cassim's blue outfit appears. Aladdin takes it)
Genie: Might I suggest something that doesn't actually say (Wearing a prison uniform) "Arrest me!"?
Aladdin: (Wearing Cassim's outfit) It fits. Good.
Genie (As the Oracle): I'm seeing, I'm seeing... (Genie changes back to normal) nothing for your future if you dress like this!
Aladdin: I'm breaking my father out of the dungeon. The guards'll never know I was there. Tonight, the King of Thieves will make his most miraculous escape ever... out of my life. (He leaves)
Genie: It's the cape talking, isn't it?
(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah; Dungeon)
(Cassim and Iago are sitting in the dungeon. Cassim looks upset. Iago, still wearing a cuff over his beak, looks annoyed.)
(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah, Guard's Quarters)
(Hakim and Fazal are walking down a hall. Aladdin is pressed up against the wall. Hakim and Fazal walk by him, not seeing him)
Fazal: Since he's captured the King of Thieves, there's no living with Rasoul.
Hakim: Well, it wasn't exactly easy living with him before.
(Aladdin sneaks up behind Fazal and steals his keys. Fazal turns around, sees no one behind him, and continues down the hall.)
(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah, the Dungeon)
(Cassim is sitting in the dungeon. He sees someone coming through the door. Cassim stands up.)
Cassim: Who?
Aladdin: I've come to say goodbye (Aladdin begins unlocking Cassim's chains)
Cassim: Why are you...?
Aladdin: We don't have much time. While the guards chase me, you get out. (Aladdin takes the cuffs off Cassim's wrists)
Cassim: I can't let you...
Aladdin: (Throwing the keys to Cassim) Forget it. They can't catch me.
Cassim: He even sounds like me...
(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah, the Guard's Quarters)
(Hakim and Fazal are sitting at a table. Rasoul is looking in the mirror, slicking back his hair.)
Rasoul: When the Sultan gives me my due, I'll put the good word in for you, the little people who... (Rasoul sees Aladdin's reflection in the mirror) It can't be. (Hakim, Fazal, and Rasoul go into the hallway.) He was here, I know it.
(Aladdin, pressed up against the ceiling, jumps down on top of Rasoul's head. He bounces off, and stands in front of Hakim and Fazal)
Fazal: The King of Thieves!
Hakim: No man can escape that cell!
Fazal: He isn't a man I say, he's a demon!
(Aladdin runs away)
Rasoul: I want him, dead or alive!
(Setting: Agrabah, The Marketplace)
(Groups of guards are running around in the city.)
Rasoul: Surround the block! He's close... I can feel it.
Guards: Which way did he go? I don't see him! Look over that way, hurry!
(Aladdin is hiding in an alley. As the guards approach him, he climbs up onto the roof of a building. Hakim and Fazal come down the same alley.)
Fazal (Pointing upward): There, the King of Thieves, on the roof!
Rasoul: Get up there, now, now, now!
(Aladdin sees Hakim, Fazal, and other guards coming up the roof.)
Fazal: Found him!
(Aladdin jumps off the roof)
Hakim: Lost him.
(Aladdin lands on a canopy, and bounces onto a wall hanging on the palace. He climbs up)
Guards: (Hanging over the edge of the roof, searching for Aladdin) Which way did he go? I heard him over there... no over there, over there!
(Aladdin jumps from a higher level of the palace and onto the bridge. Rasoul grabs his cape.)
Rasoul: Gotcha. (Aladdin falls) The King of Thieves. Your charmed life is over, your majesty! (Rasoul tries to stab Aladdin, but Aladdin pulls away. The cape rips, revealing Aladdin's true identity) You?
Aladdin: Yes.
Rasoul: Then, I guess I'll have to settle for the Prince of Thieves. We shall see if the Sultan wants you in his family now.
(Rasoul is tackled. He hits his head against the wall and is knocked out. Aladdin sees that Cassim attacked him.)
Cassim: Keep your hands off my son!
Aladdin: Dad?
Cassim: Hurry son, we must move!
(Cassim and Aladdin run off.)
(Setting: The Desert)
(On horseback, Aladdin and Cassim ride up a hill. They run into a cavern.)
Aladdin: Did we lose 'em?
Iago (Hanging off the side of Cassim's horse): I don't know, but I did lose my lunch back there...
Cassim: They won't be able to pick up our trail until daylight. By then, we'll be long gone from Agrabah. (Aladdin looks back at the Palace of Agrabah) I'm sorry for what you lost, but you can't go back now, you know that. (Aladdin gets off his horse) What are you doing?
Aladdin: I'm not going with you... I can't.
Cassim: Well, you can't go back! The moment they saw your face your life in Agrabah was over.
Aladdin: I have to go back. Jasmine is there.
Iago: Kid, it's over, you're a criminal now.
Aladdin: I won't do what he did, I won't run away.
(Cassim gets off his horse)
Cassim: (Approaching Aladdin) I never ran away from anything in my life!
Aladdin: You ran away from your family!
Cassim: I told you what happened. What else could I do, what else can you do?
Aladdin: The right thing. You should take this back. (Aladdin throws the Midas Dagger at Cassim).
Cassim: You can't!
Aladdin: I won't walk out on Jasmine!
Cassim: Aladdin...
Aladdin: I'm your son, but I can't live your life.
Iago: Al, they'll lock you up!
Aladdin: If there's a punishment, I'll take it.
Cassim: So be it...
Iago: (Landing on Aladdin's shoulder) We have the Oracle, the treasure's just waitin' for us!
Aladdin: The Oracle?
Cassim: I had nothing left to lose!
Aladdin: Yes, you did.
(Aladdin rides off.)
Iago: It was supposed to be a father son outing.
Aladdin: (Aladdin takes Iago off his shoulder) Go with him, Iago.
Iago: What? Ya mean it? Really?
Aladdin: Go! (Aladdin gestures Iago toward Cassim)
Iago: (Iago salutes Aladdin) Good luck, kid...
(Cassim and Iago ride into the desert. Aladdin heads back to Agrabah)
(Setting: Forty Thieves Lair)
Fat White Man: The Forty Thieves down to seven. What are we to do?
Skinny, White Man: How did they find us? How did they learn the magic words? (The ground starts shaking) Another raid?
Triplets: Not again!
Fat, Asian Man: (Standing and karate chopping) It is a good day to die!
Sa'luk: (From the entrance) Or to come back from the dead!
Fat, White Man: Sa'luk?
Triplets: You're alive?
Skinny, Green Man: Impossible...
Sa'luk: I'm a survivor, like all of you. (Sa'luk puts his claws on) No thanks to Cassim.
Skinny, White Man: The King?
Fat, Asian Man: You saw him?
Fat, White Man: What's he want us to do now?
Sa'luk: He wants you to rot in the palace dungeon!
Triplets: (The triplets stand on top of each other) Bah... the King of Thieves is loyal to the end!
Sa'luk: (Sa'luk knocks them over) Pushovers!
Triplets: Ouch...
Sa'luk: He betrayed you, sold you out.
Fat, Asian Man: You have always hated the King. Why should we believe you?
Sa'luk: How do you think the guard got the magic words?
Fat, White Man: He told him the magic words?
Triplets: I don't believe it!
Fat, White Man: Me neither!
Sa'luk: Ha! Ha! You have forgotten what life was like before Cassim.
IN OR OUT?
Sa'luk: I remember a time when crime was sublime
There was plenty of loot in the lair.
(Sa'luk destroys various goblets and cups. The thieves are angry.)
We'd plunder and pillage and ransack a village
With nary a worry or care
Then along came this king with his soft hearted dream
(Sa'luk slices a picture of Cassim)
But he ratted us out in the end!
So rally the troops, we were meant to regroup.
And return to our roots once again.
Are you in or out?
Gotta know without a doubt
(The thieves approach Sa'luk, holding their weapons to him. Sa'luk easily punches them away)
I'm the one you need for a dirty deed
I'm the best, success is guaranteed
Are you men or mice?
(Sa'luk knocks the Triplets out of the way and into a tent.)
Take a slice of my advice
You want a fearless leader, one that's strong and stout?
(Sa'luk cuts through the tent. The Triplets are scared)
Better vote for me
Are you in or out?
(Sa'luk destroys the rest of the thieves. They sit up, rubbing their heads)
Fat, Asian Man: We used to be smart
Skinny, Green Man: Yes, horrendously heartless
Skinny, White Man: In a ravaging raid we were rough!
Triplets: We knew that we had to be blissfully bad
Then Cassim brought this sensitive stuff!
Thieves: And we strayed from the path of our rigorous wrath.
Now we're taking a bath in the dust!
But we'll reclaim our winnings, our humble beginnings
In turmoil and torture, we trust!
Are you in or out?
Sa'luk: Double crossers or devout?
Put your faith in me, pretty soon you'll see
I'm the prince of generosity!
Thieves: Are you foe or friend?
(The thieves make a pathway out of torches)
Sa'luk: Here's the path I recommend
You wanna ride to fame, I've got the fastest route
What's it gonna be?
Are you in or out?
(The thieves prepare their weapons)
Skinny, White Man: We'll go robbing in all the right places
Triplets: From Agrabah dunes to Bali
Skinny, Green Man: Imagine the fear on their faces
Fat, White Man: When we drop by for cookies and tea...
Sa'luk: Come along boys, follow me!
Are you in or out?
If you're with me, give a shout
Thieves: Yah!
Sa'luk: I'll lead you all the way into the glory days
Thieves: We'll begin a life of crime that pays (Omid wedgies Behrang and grabs the bag of money from his pants)
Triplet: Are you out or in?
Triplet 2: Make your choice now, sink or swim?
Sa'luk: You can stick with me, or stay behind and pout
Thieves: What's it gonna be?
Sa'luk: Consider carefully
Thieves: Are you in or out?
(Setting: Outside the Forty Thieves' Lair)
Iago: I know the treasure's limitless. But I'm not crazy about a forty way split. If it was just uh, you and me...
Cassim: I would never cut my men out of the deal. They're my family, my only family. I can always count on them.
(Cassim and Iago enter the lair.)
Cassim: I'm home!
(From the sides of the lair, the remaining thieves emerge. They are holding their weapons out to Cassim. Cassim backs up as far as he can.)
Iago: Why don't they look happy to see you?
Sa'luk: (Emerging from the crowd) We are, we're thrilled! (Sa'luk holds his claws out to Cassim)
(Setting: A Boat)
(Cassim and Iago are tied to the mast of a boat)
Cassim: Hurry, little friend.
Iago: I'm wriggling, I'm wriggling.
Sa'luk: I am growing impatient, Cassim. Ask the question.
Cassim: We must be ah...
Iago: Just a little further...
Cassim: Further out to sea...
Sa'luk: No, ask it now!
Iago: (Almost free) Now's good.
Cassim: Where can we find the Hand of Midas?
(The Oracle appears in the sky, while Iago frees himself).
Oracle: The Vanishing Isle will appear at dawn. I will show you the way... (A trail of light appears in the water)
Cassim: There's your setting, captain.
(Iago flies away)
(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah)
Sultan: Frankly, my boy, your actions were most disappointing.
Rasoul: It is tragic your highness, but the street rat has obviously followed in his father's footsteps. Aladdin is a criminal.
(Genie appears, dressed as a lawyer)
Genie: I object, your honor. (Genie turns the setting into a courtroom, with Sultan as the judge and Rasoul as the bailiff) I object to that outrageous statement. And I object to a tertiary character having any lines during my big courtroom scene. (Genie hands Rasoul a briefcase) Take this to a higher court, chow! (Genie blasts Rasoul out of the scene) Your honor, if I may enter a plea of insanity, because I'm crazy about this kid! (Genie messes up Aladdin's hair)
Aladdin: (Pushes Genie away) Genie, I can handle this myself. Sultan, I convinced my father to come here. It was my fault. I would've been better off if I'd never known him.
Jasmine: Aladdin, you found your father. A father who risked his freedom to see your wedding. And you risked everything to save him. Just as I would for my father.
Sultan: Your father? (Softening) Well... well yes... Aladdin, I could not overlook your father's crimes, but what you have done, well, you did it out of love. And you came back to take responsibility for your actions. Let us put this matter behind us. I believe we have postponed the wedding long enough.
Genie: Okay, good call! Let's give a big hand for the wise and generous Sultan! (Sultan is led away by two large Genie hands)
(Iago's scream is heard. Iago falls from the sky, bouncing off Carpet. Jasmine catches him.)
Iago: Al's dad... Sa'luk...
Jasmine: Just take a deep breath, Iago. Now what about Aladdin's father?
Iago: It's Sa'luk, the guy Al beat. He's not beat, he's back. And he's got Cassim.
Aladdin: (Turning away from Iago) That's his problem. He chose to go back to that life...
Genie: Al, your dad's made a lot of bad choices, but that doesn't mean you have to.
Jasmine: He is your father, how can you do anything else?
Aladdin: I'm being as stubborn as he was... (To Iago) Show me the way!
(Iago sighs)
(Setting: The Boat, Dawn)
Oracle: You have arrived.
(The Earth moves, but nothing appears)
Fat, White Man: Where is it?
Fat, Asian Man: I see nothing. Nothing but fog!
Sa'luk: (Holding his claws out to Cassim) I've had enough of your trickery!
Cassim: No! This is it. The Vanishing Isle. Watch.
(From under the water, a castle raises. The ship is nearly knocked over. The castle is on top of a floating turtle.)
(Setting: The Air)
(Aladdin and company fly in on Carpet)
Aladdin: The Vanishing Isle!
Jasmine: On the back of a giant turtle.
Aladdin: And never in the same place twice. Let's get closer.
(Carpet flies in closer to the Isle. Cassim, in chains, is being led by Sa'luk.)
Genie: (Dropping in on a parachute, dressed as Rambo) Prepare to rock and roll, dudes!
(Genie lands on the ground and shoots some lasers toward some the thieves. Jasmine, Abu, and Carpet block the thieves' way. The thieves laugh, but are pushed back by Abu's jumping, Jasmine's punching, and Carpet's flying.)
Genie: (As a monk) I am here, (Genie, still as a monk, appears on the other side of the thieves) I am here.
(Jasmine pushes a griffin statue down upon the thieves. The fat, white thief continues to walk.)
Genie: (As a hillbilly) How 'bout a packet of Nutty Buddies? (Genie pushes the thief back with his stomach)
Aladdin: Genie, we need a distraction.
Genie: Survey says: Show me turtle! (Genie flies to the turtle. He is dressed as a wrestler) Boom! Another fake blow to the head. Boom! (As a wrestling announcer) Oh no! He's got'em in the half nelson. Now he's got'em in the full nelson. Oh no, the dreaded Ozzie Nelson! (As Ozzie Nelson) Rick, boys, maybe you want to come over here and see what's happening? (As the wrestling announcer, moving toward the turtle's mouth) He's coming in quick. Oh no, he's up, he's down, and he's actually inside the turtle! We'll be right back after a brief message. (Genie is now inside the turtle) Tickle, tickle, tickle!
(The turtle's pupils shrink. The ground starts to shake. Cassim and Sa'luk, still walking together, nearly lose their balance. Aladdin jumps down from a high ledge and dropkicks Sa'luk. Sa'luk gets back up. Aladdin uppercuts him, knocking Sa'luk unconscious.)
Aladdin: It took me years to find my father. I'm not losing him again!
Cassim: You came to help me? (Aladdin frees him)
Aladdin: How could I do anything else? Now let's get that treasure of yours.
(Cassim and Aladdin enter the main cavern of the room)
Cassim: Amazing. (Cassim points upward) There! (A giant golden hand is floating in the sky)
(The cavern shakes.)
Aladdin: Whoa! Feels like Genie got carried away!
Cassim: No! It's the Vanishing Isle! The turtle is diving! We must climb higher!
(Aladdin sees water rushing into the cavern. He and Cassim run to the wall and start climbing. Water is coming from all sides. Outside the cavern, Sa'luk wakes.)
Cassim: Almost there! Can't you see Aladdin? We were meant to do this together! Come on!
(Sa'luk smiles and enters the cavern. Cassim and Aladdin reach the level of the floating golden hand. On the floating hand is a statue, holding the Hand of Midas. Cassim holds back a tear.)
Cassim: Pity I didn't find this place years ago. This would be much easier if I were much younger. (Cassim gets ready to jump to the floating hand. Aladdin jumps toward the hand) Aladdin!
(Aladdin barely makes it to the hand; he is hanging off the edge. Aladdin pulls himself up).
Aladdin: See, it pays to have a junior partner!
Cassim: Be careful! Don't touch the golden hand.
Aladdin: (Aladdin pulls on the Hand. It doesn't move. Aladdin turns it, and picks it up.) Heads up! (Aladdin throws the Hand to Cassim. Cassim catches it in his cape. It turns to gold.)
Cassim: Ha ha! The Hand of Midas! (Cassim touches the base of the cavern with the hand. The entire cavern turns to solid gold.) Time to go, Aladdin!
(Sa'luk jumps down from an upper level, tackling Aladdin)
Sa'luk: Nobody's going anywhere. Give the Hand of Midas to me, Cassim, or your son dies.
Cassim: Sa'luk, your battle is with me!
Aladdin: Don't worry, Dad, I can take 'em alone.
Cassim: But you're not alone. Not anymore. You want the Hand of Midas, Sa'luk? Take it! (Cassim throws the Hand of Midas to Sa'luk)
Sa'luk: (Sa'luk catches the Hand) The Hand of Midas is mine! And also, the life of your brat. (To Aladdin) What are you staring at? (Sa'luk realizes that he caught the Hand of Midas by the golden part. He drops it.) no... no... No... NO... Ahhhh! (Aladdin winces as Sa'luk turns into a golden statue and falls into the sea. The water in the cavern has risen to the point where the floating hand is floating on top of the water. Aladdin takes the Hand of Midas and wraps his ripped off sleeve around it, turning it to gold.)
Cassim: Hurry, son! We're running out of time.
(Aladdin puts the Hand of Midas in his belt and swims to the edge of the cavern, and he and Cassim start climbing up the cliff face. Cassim falls behind.)
Aladdin: Come on, Dad. You can do it!
Cassim: Yes. But it would be a lot easier without this. (takes off the golden cape and drops it into the water.)
(Cassim and Aladdin make it to the top of the cavern and into the sunlight. Cassim takes a deep breath. Aladdin takes out the Hand of Midas and unwraps it)
Aladdin: (Handing the Hand to Cassim) After all these years, you finally have your treasure.
Cassim: This thing? No. This retched thing almost cost me the Ultimate Treasure. It's you, son. You are my Ultimate Treasure. (hugs Aladdin) I'm just sorry it took me this long to realize it. The Hand of Midas can take its curse to the bottom of the sea! (throws the Hand of Midas over the edge of the island. It lands on the boat below, where the seven thieves are waiting to leave)
Fat, White Man: It's gold. It's turned everything to solid gold!
(The ship turns to solid gold. It sinks)
Skinny, White Man: We are sinking!
(Iago, Jasmine, Abu, and Carpet are sitting on a pillar.)
Iago: I didn't see where they went it, they could be anywhere!
Jasmine: (Pointing to the top of the island) There they are!
(Cassim and Aladdin jump off the top of the island.)
Cassim: Get up here you blasted rug!
(Carpet flies up and catches them.)
Aladdin: You actually trust this thing?
Cassim: With my life, son.
(Carpet picks up the others. As they fly away, the island sinks.)
Aladdin: Genie?
(The turtle raises his head to take one last breath. Genie, as Steamboat Willie, comes out, whistling.)
Aladdin: Genie?
Genie: (Appears beside Carpet) Present!
Aladdin: Let's go home. We have some unfinished business.
(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah; The Wedding Pavilion)
(Aladdin and Jasmine are standing in front of candles. Aladdin and Jasmine kiss. Genie shoots off some fireworks.)
Sultan: Yes!
(Genie starts to cry again. He grabs Carpet to blow his nose, but Carpet hands him a tissue. Jasmine and Aladdin walk up the aisle, Rajah carrying the train of Jasmine's dress. Aladdin looks around the wedding chapel. He sees Cassim leaning against a pillar. Cassim nods toward Aladdin, and turns around. Iago is behind him.)
Iago: Out in the open? No mask? Pretty risky if you ask me.
Cassim: Even a wanted man can risk a bit to see his own son's wedding. (He gets down on one knee in front of Iago) So, you little turkey, come to say goodbye?
Iago: Nah, I already said my goodbyes. Of course, the monkey had a cry, and that got me goin'... (Iago wipes a tear away from his eye)
Cassim: You're not going to live in the palace?
Iago: With the newly weds? (Cassim jumps off the edge of the pavilion, and lands on top of his horse) It'll be too lovey dovey! I just as soon keep my will to live.
Cassim: Well, I don't know where I'm going, but you're welcome to come along for the ride.
Iago: (Iago lands on Cassim's shoulder) You're a good guy, Cassim, but not good. Ha Ha! (Cassim and Iago ride off).
ARABIAN NIGHTS (REPRISE)
(Jasmine and Aladdin come out of the palace.)
Merchant: So it goes short and sweet
They were wed down the street
(Jasmine throws her bouquet into the crowd. Four Genies appear in dresses, reaching to catch it. They move as it comes near them, and Rasoul catches it.)
May their marriage be truly blessed
Happy end to the tale
And tomorrow's a sale
So I'd better go home and rest
Here's a kiss and a hug
Sure you don't need a rug?
I assure the price is right
(The Merchant from "Aladdin" offers to sell Aladdin and Jasmine a rug and a plate with their faces on it. They shake their heads and fly off)
Well, salaam worthy friend
Come back soon, that's the end
(Aladdin grabs Jasmine to give her a passionate kiss, but Jasmine kisses him softly.)
Till another Arabian Night.
(Cassim and Iago ride into the moonlight.)
(Post-credits scene)
Genie: Wait a minute. WE'RE NOT GETTING OUTTA HERE, MAN! WE'RE NOT GETTING OUTTA HERE! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND IT, MAN?! THIS IS IT, GAME'S OVER, MAN!
(Genie smiles embarrassedly at the camera, and flies off.)