Lemming Juice Attempts World Boss

Category:Stories
Category:Melatha
Category:Kopfjagger
Lemming Juice Attempts World Boss
:- by Melatha and Kopfjagger Posted on the Lemming Juice Guild Web Site
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==The Story According to Melatha==
<BR>Lemming Juice heard rumors that a rare outdoor world boss had spawned in the Wetlands. Our recruiting efforts earlier this months have been *very* successfull netting us a level 10 priest and a 14 mage (yay!) so I decided we should test our mettle against this savage beast. 
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<BR>I issued our rallying cry on Guild Chat, "Feed The Lemmings"! 
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<BR>After a lengthy discussion about our favorite pie, I eventually brought the discussion around to the world boss. We decided that the he may drop some pies, so we had plenty of volunteers to go conquer this creature. 
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<BR>Lemmings from all across the realm started asking guards for flight paths, some bought cheese, bread and milk to go with the pie drop that we had now decided was inevittable. Eventually, we all eagerly met up in Booty Bay. After much expert tracking by our hunters, we determined we should have made that left in Darkshire after all. 
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<BR>Several hours later, our numbers starting to dwindle, members dropping from fatigue (and to do laundry) some of us managed to finally reach Menethil Harbor for a much needed respite. We lost another two Dwarves who drank so much that their screens went black, but the rest of us bravely ventured forth. The pie would taste even sweeter after all we had endured. 
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<BR>We finally found ourselves facing the creature... and it was hideous. My palms were sweaty with anticipation. 
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We can see Kopfjagger sitting astride his mount on top of the hill, so we start preparing the raid group while hiding behind this tree
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<BR>Now I know that we joke about being noobs and all, but we're actually quite proficient and experienced. Almost all of our members have taken down Princess the Pig and some have even defeated the Messenger in Westfall. Yeah, that's right! The Messenger! (Makes a mental note to contribute to the _Success of Earthen Ring Guilds in Raiding_ topic) We've seen some ugly mosters, but this was the most horribly evil... and BIG... did I mention it's HUGE ... monster we had ever faced. 
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Yes, there stood Kopfjagger in all his evil glory, sitting astride an equally terrible mount. This pie was gonna be good! Lemmings were gonna feast tonight! 
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<BR>He didn't seem to notice us yet, so we hid behind a tree and started organizing the raid for the fight. 
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<BR>Now I know that everyone has "their own" tactics for taking down these epic world bosses, but we maximize everyone's skillset and playing style for optimal performance. As mostly business professionals and parents, we excell at planning our strategies. (Not to brag, but Call of the Wild may wanna take notes here) 
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<BR>Our priest tanks were ready with mages wielding linen bandages for dedicated healing. Our warriors had plenty of mana pots and our paladins prepared themselves to run around in circles yelling, "The Light! The light has abandoned me!" in order to confuse our prey while our hunters feign death and the warlocks enter melee combat to finish the job. 
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<BR>I admit, on the first pull we were rushing a little bit because we were sure that KoTK and TH had heard about the boss being up too, and we wanted to get our attempt in before they showed up. 
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<BR>We never saw the cow wander up behind our druid who had been assigned the task of dancing in moonkin form. Of course the wipe was over with quickly, I mean who can handle adds like *that* while taking on a world boss? 
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<BR>Our spirits slightly down, but with a grim determination borne of hunger for pie, we started rezzing (yes, of course we use soulstones. The noob thing is just an act.) So the warriors pop up and start to rez everyone, but thier mana was low so we decide to just make the run back. 
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<BR>After a... slight delay... in Booty Bay (Left... left in Darkshire!), we started popping back up for another attempt. 
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This time we decide to hide behind this fallen tree
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<BR>We were just getting our last priest up when it happened. (We decided to set up behind a fallen tree this time). Someone must have gotten too close and drew agro from Kopfjagger who then wandered right into the middle of the raid making wierd gestures at us with a... it was a... Tree limb... yeah... a really BIG tree limb that must have held unspeakable evil power. We scattered in panic while our priest kept spamming /hugs on Kopfjagger trying to get agro. I started running and my daughter chose that exact moment to show me how far she can cram a crayon up her nose while singing "I like to Move it Move it"! (I take pictures of these moments in preperation for when she starts dating). 
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<BR>By the time I put the camera away and looked up, I had run off the cliff and what was left of the raid followed me over in rapid succession. The bodies of lemmings were scattered across the shoreline at the base of the drop off. 
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<BR>My stomach grumbled. 
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<BR>This day may belong to Kopfjagger, but some day... some day we *will* have pie!!
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==The Story According to Kopfjagger==
It was a strange afternoon. I had taken it upon myself to research the destruction of the dwarven dam near the Wetlands. It is a simple construction really, and the engineers in Blood Fist are most skilled.
While surveying the area to the best of my ability (I am, after all, no engineer but an herbalist and brewer) I heard the strangest sounds. I disregarded them at first, thinking that my ears were deceiving me.
There must be a way to get to the base of the dam without causing too much of an uproar with the straight-backs. The waterfalls would be difficult to navigate but there are precious few guards in the wetlands to raise an alarm… 
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<BR>There it is again! That noise. Like the whisper of lost souls. Several of them… from behind me… 
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<BR>Screaming, running, wide eyed Alliance were streaking and would have been scary had they not kept running into each <BR>other…. And if they had all run in the same direction… or at the same time even… but it was a … sight. 
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<BR>I noticed that the majority were coming at me and realized there was no way I could take them all. And the hugs started flying at me from all directions…
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<BR>O.o 
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<BR>Hugs? 
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<BR>I quickly learned that I was about to be ganked by Lemming Juice. But… I just couldn’t. 
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<BR>Before I knew what had happened, a squeeling noise punctured my ear drums and there they went. 
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<BR>One after the other. 
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<BR>Over the cliff. 
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<BR>It was horrible. I had been trying to swat them away but had somehow encouraged their basic instincts to kick in. 
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<BR>And they lept. 
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<BR>It was horrible. 
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<BR>I had to go down there and see if I could somehow help, but alas… they had slain themselves. 
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/mourn Lemming Juice