All quotes from portal 1

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GLaDOS==
===Test Chamber 00===
*Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
===[edit]Test Chamber 06===
*You, [subject name here], must be the pride of [subject hometown here]!
===[edit]Test Chamber 08===
*Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an "unsatisfactory" mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!
===[edit]Test Chamber 09===
*The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible. Make no attempt to solve it.
*Fantastic. You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.
===[edit]Test Chamber 10===
Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.*Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not. Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms: speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
===[edit]Test Chamber 15===
*Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true!
===[edit]Test Chamber 17===
*The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
*You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.
===[edit]Test Chamber 18===
*The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
===[edit]Test Chamber 19===
*Congratulations. The test is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. [The player's platform is lowered into a fire pit] Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. Goodbye.
===[edit]Outside the Chambers===
*Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye", and you were like, [deep voice] "No way!" And then I was all, "We pretended we were going to murder you." That was great.
===[edit]Main Hall===
I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come, because you murdered him.*[After burning the morality core] You're kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science thing-we-don't-know-what-it-does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator? That has got to be the dumbest thing that … whoa. Whoa, whoa …[Cackles, voice changes] Good news: I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin, to make me stop flooding the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.
*Oh, you think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is [static] … ten. In base four! I'm fine!
*I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come, because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. "Shall not be mourned." That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny too.
*I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you – which it's just about to. Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on. [Silly voice] "Hellooo!" That's you! That's how dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
*
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