A Doll to Die For Family/Transcript

== The Ghost Realm ==
(thunder crashes)
Taste the vicious wrath of Lord Doom!
(yells)
(groans)
Uh, catch me up here.
Who's this guy again?
Lord Doom?
The Ravener of the River Styx?
The Slayer of Souls?
The Annihilator of the Afterlife?
You're saying this like it should mean something to me
when I'm confident that you know it doesn't.
He once ate an entire village for breakfast,
then had their ghosts for lunch.
You must stop him, Mr. Chairman, Sir.
- Oh! - (yells)
(blades slice)
Me? Why do I got to do everything?
Because you freed him from the Flow of Failed Phantoms.
Fine, I'll trap him in, uh...
this bottle.
I curse you, Lord Doom!
May you never again float free,
and be bound into the next vessel you see!
Ah!
That's probably fine, right?
(all whimper)
- (door opens) - (baby giggling)
Oh, Baby Octavius must have this.
He does prefer toys with an old soul.
Well, then, you're gonna want the matching bonnet set.
I have that filed over here under "sundries."
(grunts)
Into the next vessel you see!
No! No!
Blast this curse!
Check back later for more items in the My Gothic Baby collec...
Well, that's, uh... That's odd.
Didn't we leave the dolly right here?
- (door bell jingles) - (feet pattering rapidly)
Odd indeed.
(Scratch, laughing) And then I was like...
(imitating artillery fire and screaming)
And then I zapped Lord Doom away forever.
(imitating gunfire)
Wow! Impressive, Scratch.
Are they saying I'm the best chairman ever?
I assume so.
I'm glad I never have to see that scary Doom guy again.
(knock on door)
LORD DOOM: Down here.
- (yells) - (both scream)
- Meet your doom. - Molly, help! Get it off!
It's gonna pinch me or something!
I will destroy you and everything you hold dear
until you plead for a second death!
Lord Doom?
You know, the way you told that story,
I was expecting, like, someone scary.
Not a cute little baby doll.
Oh, the chairman cursed me to inhabit this form
for all eternity.
(grunting)
(sighs)
What's the point?
I cannot strike fear into anyone's heart
with these oversized brown eyes.
Okay, okay, but let me ask you something, Lord Doom.
Did scaring really make you happy?
Extremely!
Did it? Or were you just playing into other ghouls' expectations?
Go on, mortal girl.
MOLLY: True joy comes from helping others find their joy,
and then watching that joy spread like a happy virus.
Look, take this opportunity
to lead into this new you, Lord Doom.
Less scare, more care.
Oh, perhaps a change would be nice.
I could have friends.
Hey, that's the spirit!
With my guidance, I can change you
from a violent caterpillar
into a friendly social butterfly.
Hmm. Friends.
(cackling) Yes!
And that is how you en-happify.
Uh, Molly? Sidebar.
(laughs nervously)
What are you doing?
A tater can't change its tot.
What? Yes, it can.
I mean, you could just make mashed potatoes,
- or a big hash brown, or, like-- - You can't!
And the point is, Lord Doom is a cold-blooded monster
who cannot and will not change.
Everyone has a spark of good in them.
- I am gonna fan that spark... - Don't say it.
- ...into a fiery inferno... - No, don't do it.
...of niceness!
- I knew you were gonna say that! - Yeah.
- (fire crackles) - (smoke alarm beeps)
Molly: ♪ For a thousand years, you've seen yourself as violent.. ♪
Lord Doom: Oh yeah.
Molly: ♪ As a savage... ♪
Lord Doom: Yup!
Molly: ♪ As brutal as can be~ ♪
Lord Doom: You really get me!
Molly: ♪ But soon you'll come to find, you can simply change your mind! All you need is a little, Positivity! ♪
♪ You'll be good, you'll be kind, you'll leave all your grave atrocities behind. ♪
♪ Be gentile, not like before! Soon you'll be frightful no more! ♪
Ahh..
♪ You'll plant trees, you'll bake gloves ♪
Lord Doom: ♪ I'll keep devouring the exit to the rows ♪
Molly: ♪ No! No! You'll hug, you'll be tender and warm.. ♪
♪ Soon you'll be frightful no- er.. ♪
Scratch: Thanks
Molly: ♪ So nice and polite! ♪ I hope...
uh Scratch, this guy wouldn't hurt me right?
Scratch: Mmm.. 50/50
Lord Doom: ♪ I SHALL VANQUISH MY AGGRESSION DECIMATE MY RAGE, SLAY my inner demons, turn a brand new page! ♪
Scratch: ♪ By corn I think he's got it! ♪
Molly: ♪ heh.. That's what friends are for! ♪
Lord Doom: ♪ Thanks to you! I'm frightful no more. ♪
Molly: What have I done!?
♪ Totally not frightful anymore… ♪
Lord Doom: ♪ And I guarantee.. I will even the score... ♪
I didn't think Lord Doom could change.
But you did it.
I shall doubt
your en-happification abilities no more!
(laughs) Yup, that's... That's me.
I definitely believed in him the whole time.
But, uh, if you still think he's dangerous,
we can ask him to leave.
What? Come on! No way!
I thought crudités would be disgusting
because, you know, celery.
But Lord Doom, this guy's a wiz with hummus.
He made, like five different flavors.
Yeah, but what happened to a tater can't change its tot?
- Care for some fresh lemonade? - Oh, corn!
It tastes like a summer's breeze.
Hey. Thanks, LD.
And to think, just a short while ago
you were a cold-blooded, merciless butcher of souls.
(both laugh)
(laughs nervously)
Hard to believe, isn't it?
Not for me.
I'm a good person who believes in second chances.
- (screams) - Aren't you gonna drink, Molly?
I squeezed the juice from the lemon's husk
with my own hands.
It's to die for.
And make sure to take this glass right here
that I made specifically for you.
(whimpering)
Uh...
Look! A cute bunny!
Oh, whoops, It hopped away...
cutely and bunnily, anyways.
Oh! Yum.
Hmm. Witnessing your enjoyment pleases me.
I am working on another surprise just for you.
Come one, McGee. Get it together, okay?
It's fine. He's fine. He's totally not scary at all.
He's-- (gasps)
Oh, sweet baby corn.
(Lord Doom cackling evilly)
(whimpers)
- (chain saw whirs) - Here comes the joy!
(cackles)
This'll leave quite the impression.
The McGee girl will never see this coming.
What is he planning?
Oh! Scratch was right.
A tater can't change its tot.
It's already made, you can't un-make it.
What are you gonna do? Cut off the bread part?
You can't un-tot the tater tot.
It's too far down the process!
Molly...
sneaky snoopers are party poopers.
What? Snooping? No.
I went... I was...
Nothing! I think you're nice! Don't hurt me!
You better have a good reason for dragging me into the closet.
You were right, Scratch. Lord Doom is bad.
He cut my face out of all the photos
and he's gonna make us into crudités!
No way, come on.
That guy's, like, the ultimate in chill.
You must have misunderstood.
I am telling you,
we gotta get him out of here before he hurts anyone.
Come on!
Lord Doom?
Where are you?
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Here, Doomy, Doomy, Doomy.
- (yelps) - Is that...
his?
- (both gasp) - (cackling)
(gasps)
- What have you done? - (whimpers)
(both grunting)
SCRATCH: Excuse me.
Hello?
Uh... ahem.
Uh...
- Paint. - Yeah.
Bucket of it.
Did you think it was blood?
Did you think I was evil?
Um... mm-mm.
You did.
What is this agony, rending my heart in two?
It's pain!
The emotional kind!
Well, what about the chain saw?
And the photos with my head cut off?
I made you a gift!
My heartfelt gesture was in vain,
for you have forsaken Lord Doom!
I shall forever instill fear
instead of the love and compassion I crave!
I'm so sorry, Lord Doom. You deserve to be loved.
Everyone does.
It's okay, Molly.
I must find someone who doesn't mind my scary intensity.
But where can I find a person so blindly innocent and trusting
so as to accept me unconditionally?
(knock on door)
Hello, we're looking for a missing antique doll.
We saw these little footprints leading to your doorstep and--
- (giggling) - (gasps)
There it is!
Oh, uh, this doll right here?
Yeah, I don't know if that's such a good idea.
Such haunted energy.
Oh, it's a perfect addition to our family.
This child's affection fills my heart
with warmth and compassion!
(birds tweeting)
Peekaboo!
(giggling)
Okay, so it took me a while this time,
but that is how you en-happify.
(sobbing)
I'm just gonna miss that guy.
(cries)
And his hummus!
- Mostly his hummus, huh? - Yeah!
Yeah.
Category:Family Transcripts