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==Opening remarks==
(Ship's hooter fx)
*Phillips: Gosh, that's something. At least our hooter still works.
*Murray: Mr Phillips, I haven't signed for the ship yet. Leave everything alone, don't touch!
*Phillips: Are you absolutely sure this ship is old Troutbridge? She doesn't look right.
*Pertwee: Don't Look right?
*Phillips: No.
*Pertwee: Well why not, Sir? She's painted grey, blunt at one end and pointed at the other.
*Phillips: Exactly. The old Troutbridge was blunt at both ends.
*Pertwee: Yeah. Thanks to your attempts to dock at high speed, she was.
*Murray: Course, that's what's bending his little bonce. If a ship isn't covered in dents, patches and temporary repairs she can't possibly be his.
*Phillips: I...I say what's this thing? Looks like a great big typewriter. This wasn't here before. Chief, give us a hand to move it, it's in the way.
*Murray: Leave it alone!
*Pertwee: Ye...eaar...agreed. Look P...p...Pertwee's not going nowhere near it until Pertwee knows what p...possity it's there for.
*Phillips: I say chaps have you noticed? There are two little push buttons. One each side. I wonder what they do?
*Murray and Pertwee: Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Don't touch!
*Phillips: N...Now, there's no need to shout. I was only going to give one of them a little push.
*Pertwee: That's probably all it needs to start World War Three and put us and our brand new un-bent boat into orbit.
*Phillips: If violets are red, and daffodils are blue, which one shall I push? You, or you?
*Murray and Pertwee: Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Don't touch!
*Phillips: That settles it. It's going to be you. What a bit of luck. Red's always been my favourite colour.
*Murray: Aaoh, no! Sound the alarm!
*(Alarm fx)
*Pertwee: Run for your lives! Everybody Down!
*Theme Music
Category:Episodes
Category:Season 15