Treehouse of Horror: Legacy (2017)/Transcript

== Director's Cut ==
(music)
radicalfaith360: U SHITTIN' ME?!
TheZachman18: Hello everybody, TheZachman18 here and welcome to the return of Borderlands 2 Co-op Live. I'm here with my Co-op partner once again, BeanTheMachine.
BeanTheMachine: Hello!
TheZachman18: Umm, these are at my house today and uh, I'm going to invite him right now. Umm, so yeah, it's been a while. I miss Borderlands, umm, I'm glad that I'm gonna be back to it. Uhh, Ben has a new computer, so, it's now only to make this game a lot better but, he's a better computer overall. Well, that's not gonna waste anymore time so let's get back into it. So we left off, I think on episode 9 and our chapter 9 should say. So we're just about the halfway to the it's the total of 18 or whatever I read.
NR Ryan: Why is TheZachman18 not active on YouTube?! People are so busy.
NR Ryan: Thank you so much for uploading your eulogy, BeanTheMachine! You know what?! Let's watch the news!
Female News Reporter: Family and friends are mourning the loss of the 16 year old corvallis boy who police say they died from a medical condition. Friends say that his teens parents found him unresponsive in his bedroom. KEZI 9 news report with Rhoda Krause is live in corvallis tonight to tell us what investigators are saying and how his friends are now hoping, Rhoda?
Rhoda Krause: Well, Renee, I'm at Crescent Valley High School in corvallis, this is where a 16 year old Zach Peters was going to school. Now he spoke with police earlier today and they kept using the word tragedy over and over again to describe the situation. Now police aren't suspecting any criminal activity or suicide but the death are so unexpected that friends are trying to figure out how to cope. It's a familiar sound for anyone who visited Zach Peters' YouTube channel.
NR Ryan: Hey! No copyrighted songs in my 2nd Treehouse of Horror movie! You know what? This movie is getting copyrighted!
NR Mike: Alright, who called?
NR Ryan: Oh my gosh! She's naked! They're getting Microsoft Brutus and Microsoft Freddy heart attacks!
Microsoft Zira: Oh my gosh! It's gross! My gosh, we're in blood red!
This is what he gets for killing his wife, everyone!
You know what?! Screw both of you!
NR Ryan: Why is the doors not unlocked?
You can't kill his wife because you will die!
What the heck? Why did the enemie kill him?!
NR Mike: What? Ouch! You killed him!
First he's dead, then he's alive.
NR Peter: Alright, who knocked the door?!
Microsoft Zira: Did someone call Max Payne?!
NR Ryan: Oh shit! Someone's gonna kill Max Payne, you assholes!
NR Ryan: It's time to stop! No more! Who the fuck are you parents?!
Microsoft Zira: Did someone call Max Payne?!
radicalfaith360: U SHITTIN' ME?!
NR Ryan: Why is the sound in slow mo?!
NR Mike: Why is the fiery and electrical too bright?!
NR Mike: Why is the shooting too loud?
NR Ryan: Oh my God! The enemies died in blood red!
Microsoft Zira: Max Payne's headphones aren't working because it's damaged?!
NR Peter: The enemies got electrocuted and fired?!
Microsoft Zira: Why did the sirens fade away?
NR Peter: That's so funny that the enemie falls and got electrocuted!
Microsoft David: What is going on with this PC game? Is it too bright?
NR Mike: Yes, the fiery and electrical is too bright. Also, Microsoft David, what are you doing here?
Microsoft David: We're reacting to this!
NR Ryan: 2 more enemies to go!
Microsoft Zira: Wow! The enemies got exploded and got higher!
Microsoft Zira: My god. The 4 enemies sounded like it's evil!
NR Ryan: What? Why is there no sound in the graphic novel?
NR Mike: The computers got destroyed and got burned by a flame thrower!
Microsoft Zira: Why was it from Professor A?
NR Mike: Justice's PC got blood and a gunshot?
Microsoft Zira: And Max Payne shooted Professor A that's why.
Billy Mays: You shut your whore mouth when Billy Mays is talking!
NR Ryan: You're right, Billy Mays!
NR Mike: What is that?
NR Ryan: Oh crap! There's the molotov cocktail!
NR Mike: Are you mentioning about Professor A?
NR Ryan: Star Wars is a stupid mod!
NR Ryan: What is this? The Ultimate Matrix 2.0?
Microsoft David: The Ultimate Matrix 2.0 is a stupid mod!
NR Ryan: Oh what the heck? Why is there more enemies?
NR Mike: Look! We're in slow-mo!
Microsoft Zira: Will you please stop listening to these copyrighted songs? We're reacting to this 4th part!
Microsoft David: I said no copyrighted songs in truTVAndBillyOnTheStreetFanatic 2017 Media's 2nd Treehouse of Horror movie!
NR Ryan: You're right, Microsoft David! Also, what is this mod name?
NR Mike: The enemies got sliced by a gun katana, but we're in the final chapter.
NR Ryan: Hey! It's not Christmas, it's Halloween Day, remember?
Microsoft David: I remember, NR Ryan.
NR Ryan: Hey! Watch out for that damn snowball!
Microsoft Zira: What is this? Skiing?
NR Mike: Looks like we're in the speed run, but it's like sprinting.
NR Mike: What about Max Payne 2: The Aiming Shoulder mod?
Microsoft Zira: You're right, NR Mike!
NR Ryan: No more cutscenes! Let's react to this gameplay!
Microsoft Zira: But first, we need to skip cutscenes!
NR Mike: Great job exploding these enemies with a grenade!
NR Ryan: What the fuck YouTube?!
NR Ryan: What the fuck YouTube?!
NR Mike: Looks like it's Payne Effects 3.
NR Ryan: Oh my God! These explosions are dangerous!
NR Mike: Look out for that grenade, all of you!
Microsoft David: Looks like we're still in slow-mo!
NR Mike: 2 more grenades to go!
NR Ryan: All of these explosions and grenades are dangerous because good people don't want to get exploded. Also, the television's exploded.
NR Mike: The enemies ripped his arms when they got hurt by these explosions?
HatCHeTHaZ: Hello there!
TheZachman18: So, we'll be playing through some Left 4 Dead at McDonald's here.
Microsoft Zira: You're using Harry's video?! You're also using TheZachman18's video?! Also, why is there the UFO? And where did NR Peter go?
NR Mike: Natural Reader Peter just left!
Microsoft Zira: Oh noes! The zombies are coming!
NR Ryan: Oh my! They're getting good people heart attacks! Are we ready guys?
Microsoft David: We're ready to react this!
NR Mike: Here they come!
NR Ryan: Oh noes! More zombies coming!
NR Mike: We found it!
Microsoft Zira: We hate smokers so much because NR Peter's not here!
NR Ryan: Never shoot teammates because they're gonna die! Why is there lots of blood here?!
Microsoft David: You know what? Fuck you smokers for killing good people!
Microsoft Zira: It's been 2 years since Zachary Steven Peters passed away and it's not active on YouTube.
NR Ryan: Oh my God now TheZachman18 is still dead! Come on guys! Are you kidding me?!
(Microsoft Sam screaming loudly)
NR Ryan: Oh, now it's Microsoft Sam!
Microsoft Zira: You need to get out of this god damn restaurant! Because zombies are getting us!
NR Mike: Should we react to this again, or we need to stop reacting to this?!
Microsoft Zira: Hey! No destroying this restaurant! Do me and Microsoft Anna have to speak more?!
NR Ryan: Zoey, thanks for saving and protecting Harry. Yes, Microsoft Zira. Never break into this restaurant and also never break Zach's door!
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Anna? Has anybody seen Microsoft Anna?
NR Ryan: She's gone and she's hasn't been here.
Microsoft Zira: Good. Where did Microsoft Anna go?
NR Ryan: I don't know, Zira, but she's still not here.
Microsoft Zira: davemadson's comments was off?!
NR Ryan: Zach, there's no customers in here.
NR Mike: Guys, we need more weapon ammos!
NR Ryan: You guys are no longer become zombies!
Microsoft Zira: You need to stop bringing Lavon Media in here because that truTV guy kept stealing peoples ideas! You also need to stop becoming zombies! Also, thanks for healing yourself, Harry. Also again, that truTV guy needs to create new ideas that's why.
NR Peter: Guess who's back?!
NR Ryan: Natural Reader Peter, you're back! I missed you.
NR Peter: I missed you too Ryan. We can't find Microsoft Anna.
NR Mike: I hope she's gonna be here in 10 minutes.
NR Mike: The zombies are still here in this restaurant?!
NR Ryan: Oh my God now Bill's almost gonna die!
NR Ryan: Oh God! Not that fat zombie!
NR Ryan: Oh my God now Bill just died! What the heck is wrong with you guys?! Also, could you please heal yourself, Zoey?
Microsoft Zira: Suck their dicks, Zombies!
(Microsoft Sam screaming loudly again)
NR Ryan: Oh, now it's Microsoft Sam again!
Microsoft Zira: Vinnie's head is too big because it can't fit through the door?
Microsoft Zira: Alright, who's not coming? Microsoft Anna?
Microsoft Hazel: Guess who's back?!
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Hazel! You're back! I missed you.
Microsoft Hazel: I missed you too, Zira.
Microsoft Hazel: Oh my God! Vladimir Lem shot Max Payne!
Microsoft Hazel: Oh my gosh! His head got blood!
Microsoft Hazel: Detective Jim Bravura died from a heart failure?
Microsoft Hazel: Did we lost Detective Jim Bravura and Zachary Steven Peters AKA TheZachman18?
Microsoft Zira: Yes, we did, Microsoft Hazel.
NR Peter: Max Payne, please come back here!
Microsoft Zira: You've heard him, Natural Reader Peter!
Microsoft Hazel: Will you please stop singing late goodbye?!
Microsoft Hazel: Why the heck is it rainy outside?!
Microsoft Zira: Because the rain needs to stop!
Max Payne: I'll make you pay!
Microsoft Zira: Max Payne is going to pay for this!
Microsoft Zira: Hey! No more watching TV when we're reacting to this!
Max Payne: NYPD! Freeze! Drop your gun!
Microsoft Zira: I wanna eat your dick!
Microsoft Hazel: Did someone call Max Payne?! Also, where did Natural Reader Ryan go?
Microsoft Zira: I don't know, Hazel, but he's not here.
Microsoft Zira: Mona's appartment got burned?!
Microsoft Hazel: Yes, her appartment's getting hot in here.
Microsoft David: It's still rainy outside! How come Ryan's not coming back?!
Microsoft Zira: Because Natural Reader Ryan was busy, David!
Microsoft Zira: People are talking about me on the TTS wikia? Let me check and see.
Microsoft Zira: And that's what Ducky Ducklett said it on the wikia. Now truTVAndBillyOnTheStreetFanatic 2017 is going to reply to Ducky.
Microsoft Zira: Let's get to the TTS wiki, and check to see why if people edits Microsoft Anna on the wikia.
Microsoft Zira: Really? Microsoft Anna, LH Michael & LH Michelle disappeared? Let me check.
Microsoft Zira: Yeah. They got abducted by aliens.
Microsoft Zira: And now, let me get to my desktop and see why if people adds photos of Microsoft Anna.
Microsoft Zira: Wow! That user added 3 photos of her!
Microsoft Zira: That user also added a photo of Microsoft Anna and his boy friend on Go!Animate. Also, it seems a little quiet in here on the film.
Microsoft Zira: Let's get to Sandra's computer and check the internet connection.
Microsoft David: Really? No internet connection?
Microsoft Zira: You know what? Fuck you FX!
Microsoft Zira: Let's check the schedule and see what's on Thursday, May 18th.
Microsoft David: Oh my God! 7 episodes of the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror starts Thursday, May 18th!
Microsoft David: Let's get to Microsoft Mary on the TTS wikia, and change her age from 16 to 17.
Microsoft Zira: Wow! That user earned the Slow Week I Guess badge!
Microsoft David: Seriously? It's May!
Microsoft Zira: And that user also earned the Hang 'Em High, Mike badge!
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Mary on the TTS wiki has been edited by Ducky Ducklett? Let me check and read. "Since everyone's so excited to change her age!"
Microsoft David: That 343 stalker's doing everything wrong? Let me search and see.
Microsoft Zira: Really? That 343 stalker liked one of Lavon's live streams?
Microsoft David: Yes, she did, Zira.
Microsoft David: Really? That 343 stalker is in her bikini? That's disgusting! And that 343 stalker's gonna make us sick!
Microsoft Zira: We agree, David. And our own film is putting this on age-restricted!
Microsoft Zira: Really? That 343 stalker reached up to 666 subs, David?
Microsoft David: Yes, she did, Zira.
Microsoft Zira: You know what? Let's get to Larry's amazing channel!
Microsoft David: Really? CBS took down one of our Judge Judy clips?
Microsoft Zira: Yes, David. You know what? Fuck you CBS for taking down one of our Judge Judy clips!
Microsoft Zira: You've got to be kidding us, Owen Nelson! Don't ever subscribe to that damn spammer! Because if you do, don't click one of their porn videos! It will give you a virus!
Microsoft David: We agree, Zira. Don't ever get a virus!
Microsoft Zira: Thanks for leaving the spamming site, David!
Microsoft David: Of course, Zira.
Microsoft David: Really? CBS took down one of our Judge Judy clips again?!
Microsoft Zira: Yes, David. You know what? Fuck you CBS for taking down one of our Judge Judy clips again!
Microsoft David: Really? Madison Furr showed us a porn icon?
Microsoft Zira: Really? CBS Television Distribution CMS blocked one of our Judge Judy clips? You know what? Fuck you CBS!
And now, let's check the time. It's 12:06 AM and it's Tuesday, June 13th! We think it is time to change Microsoft Anna's age from 36 to 37.
Microsoft Zira: And we have earned the x+1 badge!
Microsoft David: And we also earned the Promoted badge! Let's get to Danny Philippou's channel!
Microsoft Zira: Wait! Is that Elmo?
NR Peter: What the hell was that? Did I hear something?
NR Ryan: What?!
Male News Broadcaster: No, fuck you!
Sterling Archer: What?! No you're not!
Microsoft Zira: Sterling Archer? You're here?
Sterling Archer: Yes.
Microsoft Zira: Ronald McDonald? What the fuck?
Sterling Archer: Exactly... Hey! Screw you!
NR Mike: Oh crap! That girl is being pregnant!
Male News Broadcaster: You can't even get it right after 5 takes! Why would I agree to do it live?!
Bill O'Reilly: WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT!
Male News Broadcaster: No, fuck you! We're not gonna do it live!
Bill O'Reilly: DO IT LIVE! I CAN GO WRITE IT AND WE'LL DO IT LIVE!
Male News Broadcaster: How are you gonna write it? You can't even read it. You troglodyte homunculus!
Stewie Griffin: WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT!
Male News Broadcaster: No, fuck you! We're not gonna do it live!
Eh Bee Husband: Hey! Relax!
(Sterling Archer screams)
(Sterling Archer screams again)
(gunshot)
Dr. Krieger: No-o-o! You maniac! You blew her up! Oh, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
Eh Bee Husband: Hey! Relax!
Microsoft Zira: Really? That damn girl chopped off Jeffrey's hand?
Sterling Archer: Yes.
NR Peter: Oh what the heck? Why is that damn girl murdering Jeffrey?
NR Mike: Sophia, what are you doing? Stop murdering Jeffrey or else the police will take you away! Look! You made my viewers sick! 
NR Mike: Oh crap! Now that damn girl's gonna cut off Jeffrey's legs!
Sterling Archer: Hey! Screw you!
Microsoft Zira: Really? That woman took out Jeffrey's eyes and burned Jeffrey's head in the microwave?! That's disgusting!
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
NR Peter: You see! That damn woman cuts Jeffrey's head with a knife! And that's too dangerous!
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
NR Peter: What the hell was that? Did I hear something?
NR Peter: Are you kidding us? You will die!
Bill O'Reilly: WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT! DO IT LIVE! I CAN GO WRITE IT AND WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCKIN' THING SUCKS!
Microsoft David: Really? These 4 police officers exploded their dicks?!
Sterling Archer: Yes.
Microsoft David: We only have 2 more reactions left until it's the end.
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
NR Peter: Oh noes! His last video was Ronald McDonald's family reunion!
Microsoft Zira: Don't burn the car! Because if you do, Scott Pelley will report you!
Police Officer: Put it out! I'm burning, I'm burning!
(Police Officer screams)
Police Officer: Ah! Put it out, put it out!
(Police Officer screams again)
(Homer Simpson screams)
(explosion)
Malory Archer: You what?!
Dr. Krieger: I blew it up! God damn you all to hell, I blew it up!
Billy Mays: You asshole! Watch what where you're going, bitch!
(gunshot)
Microsoft Anna: Guess who's back?
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Anna! You're back! I missed you.
Microsoft Anna: I missed you too, Zira. Let's see what is going on today.
Bill O'Reilly: The O'Reilly Factor's on, tonight!
(explosion)
Bill O'Reilly: Caution: You are about to enter the No Spin Zone, the fact it begins right now!
(the O'Reilly Factor theme playing)
Bill O'Reilly: Hi! I'm Bill O'Reilly! Thanks for watching us tonight. More evidence, the far of left it's out of control in America. That is the subject of this evening's talking points memo.
Microsoft Zira: Really? Bill O'Reilly got fired from Fox News?
Microsoft Anna: Yes, he did.
Microsoft Zira: Change the channel!
Announcer: This is the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley.
Microsoft Zira: No! Not Scott Pelley! Change it!
(gunshot)
Microsoft Zira: Really? Bart Simpson's not wearing everything? That's disgusting! We only have 1 more reaction until we're out!
Microsoft Zira: Really? Max Payne got hurt by these enemies?
Microsoft Anna: Yes, he did.
Microsoft David: Really? Becker speaks Spanish?
NR Peter: What the hell was that? Did I hear something?
Stephen A. Smith: Stay off the weed-duh!
Chris Tucker and Ice Cube: Damn!
Microsoft David: And we got an achievement!
NR Mike: Ouch! You almost killed him!
Microsoft Zira: Wow! Becker got exploded and got hurt!
Microsoft David: And his arm got ripped off!
Microsoft Zira: Oh my God! Now Becker just died! And Max Payne shooted Becker's head with a gun.
Microsoft David: And they had one card left to play.
(explosion)
Malory Archer: You what?!
Dr. Krieger: I blew it up! God damn you all to hell, I blew it up!
Billy Mays: You asshole! Watch what where you're going, bitch!
NR Mike: And we also got 2 achievements unlocked!
Microsoft Zira: And Max Payne got hurt a lot.
Microsoft David: And Victor Bronco got his leg hurt.
Microsoft Zira: Really? 2 hours of Treehouse of Horror: Legacy? That's too long. And we're running out of time!
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
Microsoft Zira: Oh my God! Now Victor Bronco just died!
(Tears by Health playing)
Microsoft Zira: And we're done with reactions!
Male News Broadcaster: You wanna... Let's do this! Let's do this! Come on!
(Future by Health playing)
(Pain by Health playing) 
== Roadshow Cut ==
(Exodus by Ducky Ducklett playing)
Lavon Vonla: NOT SO FAST MOTHER FUCKS! I WILL KILL YOU ALL!
(all people screaming and hearing people shooting with a gun)
Microsoft Zira: This is Microsoft Zira speaking, and stop stealing one of Ducky Duclett's song. This one's called, Exodus. You were supposed to play Max Hurt: Danger and Consequences, but you were instead... You know what? I might have to do it myself! Because you people stole her song god damnit! And get it right this time! Oh, and also, no more stealing one of everyone's own songs! Just play Max Hurt: Danger and Consequences!
(music)
radicalfaith360: U SHITTIN' ME?!
TheZachman18: Hello everybody, TheZachman18 here and welcome to the return of Borderlands 2 Co-op Live. I'm here with my Co-op partner once again, BeanTheMachine.
BeanTheMachine: Hello!
TheZachman18: Umm, these are at my house today and uh, I'm going to invite him right now. Umm, so yeah, it's been a while. I miss Borderlands, umm, I'm glad that I'm gonna be back to it. Uhh, Ben has a new computer, so, it's now only to make this game a lot better but, he's a better computer overall. Well, that's not gonna waste anymore time so let's get back into it. So we left off, I think on episode 9 and our chapter 9 should say. So we're just about the halfway to the it's the total of 18 or whatever I read.
NR Ryan: Why is TheZachman18 not active on YouTube?! People are so busy.
NR Ryan: Thank you so much for uploading your eulogy, BeanTheMachine! You know what?! Let's watch the news!
Female News Reporter: Family and friends are mourning the loss of the 16 year old corvallis boy who police say they died from a medical condition. Friends say that his teens parents found him unresponsive in his bedroom. KEZI 9 news report with Rhoda Krause is live in corvallis tonight to tell us what investigators are saying and how his friends are now hoping, Rhoda?
Rhoda Krause: Well, Renee, I'm at Crescent Valley High School in corvallis, this is where a 16 year old Zach Peters was going to school. Now he spoke with police earlier today and they kept using the word tragedy over and over again to describe the situation. Now police aren't suspecting any criminal activity or suicide but the death are so unexpected that friends are trying to figure out how to cope. It's a familiar sound for anyone who visited Zach Peters' YouTube channel.
NR Ryan: Hey! No copyrighted songs in my 2nd Treehouse of Horror movie! You know what? This movie is getting copyrighted!
NR Mike: Alright, who called?
NR Ryan: Oh my gosh! She's naked! They're getting Microsoft Brutus and Microsoft Freddy heart attacks!
Microsoft Zira: Oh my gosh! It's gross! My gosh, we're in blood red!
This is what he gets for killing his wife, everyone!
You know what?! Screw both of you!
NR Ryan: Why is the doors not unlocked?
You can't kill his wife because you will die!
What the heck? Why did the enemie kill him?!
NR Mike: What? Ouch! You killed him!
First he's dead, then he's alive.
NR Peter: Alright, who knocked the door?!
Microsoft Zira: Did someone call Max Payne?!
NR Ryan: Oh shit! Someone's gonna kill Max Payne, you assholes!
NR Ryan: It's time to stop! No more! Who the fuck are you parents?!
Microsoft Zira: Did someone call Max Payne?!
radicalfaith360: U SHITTIN' ME?!
NR Ryan: Why is the sound in slow mo?!
NR Mike: Why is the fiery and electrical too bright?!
NR Mike: Why is the shooting too loud?
NR Ryan: Oh my God! The enemies died in blood red!
Microsoft Zira: Max Payne's headphones aren't working because it's damaged?!
NR Peter: The enemies got electrocuted and fired?!
Microsoft Zira: Why did the sirens fade away?
NR Peter: That's so funny that the enemie falls and got electrocuted!
Microsoft David: What is going on with this PC game? Is it too bright?
NR Mike: Yes, the fiery and electrical is too bright. Also, Microsoft David, what are you doing here?
Microsoft David: We're reacting to this!
NR Ryan: 2 more enemies to go!
Microsoft Zira: Wow! The enemies got exploded and got higher!
Microsoft Zira: My god. The 4 enemies sounded like it's evil!
NR Ryan: What? Why is there no sound in the graphic novel?
NR Mike: The computers got destroyed and got burned by a flame thrower!
Microsoft Zira: Why was it from Professor A?
NR Mike: Justice's PC got blood and a gunshot?
Microsoft Zira: And Max Payne shooted Professor A that's why.
Billy Mays: You shut your whore mouth when Billy Mays is talking!
NR Ryan: You're right, Billy Mays!
NR Mike: What is that?
NR Ryan: Oh crap! There's the molotov cocktail!
NR Mike: Are you mentioning about Professor A?
NR Ryan: Star Wars is a stupid mod!
NR Ryan: What is this? The Ultimate Matrix 2.0?
Microsoft David: The Ultimate Matrix 2.0 is a stupid mod!
NR Ryan: Oh what the heck? Why is there more enemies?
NR Mike: Look! We're in slow-mo!
Microsoft Zira: Will you please stop listening to these copyrighted songs? We're reacting to this 4th part!
Microsoft David: I said no copyrighted songs in truTVAndBillyOnTheStreetFanatic 2017 Media's 2nd Treehouse of Horror movie!
NR Ryan: You're right, Microsoft David! Also, what is this mod name?
NR Mike: The enemies got sliced by a gun katana, but we're in the final chapter.
NR Ryan: Hey! It's not Christmas, it's Halloween Day, remember?
Microsoft David: I remember, NR Ryan.
NR Ryan: Hey! Watch out for that damn snowball!
Microsoft Zira: What is this? Skiing?
NR Mike: Looks like we're in the speed run, but it's like sprinting.
NR Mike: What about Max Payne 2: The Aiming Shoulder mod?
Microsoft Zira: You're right, NR Mike!
NR Ryan: No more cutscenes! Let's react to this gameplay!
Microsoft Zira: But first, we need to skip cutscenes!
NR Mike: Great job exploding these enemies with a grenade!
NR Ryan: What the fuck YouTube?!
NR Ryan: What the fuck YouTube?!
NR Mike: Looks like it's Payne Effects 3.
NR Ryan: Oh my God! These explosions are dangerous!
NR Mike: Look out for that grenade, all of you!
Microsoft David: Looks like we're still in slow-mo!
NR Mike: 2 more grenades to go!
NR Ryan: All of these explosions and grenades are dangerous because good people don't want to get exploded. Also, the television's exploded.
NR Mike: The enemies ripped his arms when they got hurt by these explosions?
HatCHeTHaZ: Hello there!
TheZachman18: So, we'll be playing through some Left 4 Dead at McDonald's here.
Microsoft Zira: You're using Harry's video?! You're also using TheZachman18's video?! Also, why is there the UFO? And where did NR Peter go?
NR Mike: Natural Reader Peter just left!
Microsoft Zira: Oh noes! The zombies are coming!
NR Ryan: Oh my! They're getting good people heart attacks! Are we ready guys?
Microsoft David: We're ready to react this!
NR Mike: Here they come!
NR Ryan: Oh noes! More zombies coming!
NR Mike: We found it!
Microsoft Zira: We hate smokers so much because NR Peter's not here!
NR Ryan: Never shoot teammates because they're gonna die! Why is there lots of blood here?!
Microsoft David: You know what? Fuck you smokers for killing good people!
Microsoft Zira: It's been 2 years since Zachary Steven Peters passed away and it's not active on YouTube.
NR Ryan: Oh my God now TheZachman18 is still dead! Come on guys! Are you kidding me?!
(Microsoft Sam screaming loudly)
NR Ryan: Oh, now it's Microsoft Sam!
Microsoft Zira: You need to get out of this god damn restaurant! Because zombies are getting us!
NR Mike: Should we react to this again, or we need to stop reacting to this?!
Microsoft Zira: Hey! No destroying this restaurant! Do me and Microsoft Anna have to speak more?!
NR Ryan: Zoey, thanks for saving and protecting Harry. Yes, Microsoft Zira. Never break into this restaurant and also never break Zach's door!
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Anna? Has anybody seen Microsoft Anna?
NR Ryan: She's gone and she's hasn't been here.
Microsoft Zira: Good. Where did Microsoft Anna go?
NR Ryan: I don't know, Zira, but she's still not here.
Microsoft Zira: davemadson's comments was off?!
NR Ryan: Zach, there's no customers in here.
NR Mike: Guys, we need more weapon ammos!
NR Ryan: You guys are no longer become zombies!
Microsoft Zira: You need to stop bringing Lavon Media in here because that truTV guy kept stealing peoples ideas! You also need to stop becoming zombies! Also, thanks for healing yourself, Harry. Also again, that truTV guy needs to create new ideas that's why.
NR Peter: Guess who's back?!
NR Ryan: Natural Reader Peter, you're back! I missed you.
NR Peter: I missed you too Ryan. We can't find Microsoft Anna.
NR Mike: I hope she's gonna be here in 10 minutes.
NR Mike: The zombies are still here in this restaurant?!
NR Ryan: Oh my God now Bill's almost gonna die!
NR Ryan: Oh God! Not that fat zombie!
NR Ryan: Oh my God now Bill just died! What the heck is wrong with you guys?! Also, could you please heal yourself, Zoey?
Microsoft Zira: Suck their dicks, Zombies!
(Microsoft Sam screaming loudly again)
NR Ryan: Oh, now it's Microsoft Sam again!
Microsoft Zira: Vinnie's head is too big because it can't fit through the door?
Microsoft Zira: Alright, who's not coming? Microsoft Anna?
Microsoft Hazel: Guess who's back?!
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Hazel! You're back! I missed you.
Microsoft Hazel: I missed you too, Zira.
Microsoft Hazel: Oh my God! Vladimir Lem shot Max Payne!
Microsoft Hazel: Oh my gosh! His head got blood!
Microsoft Hazel: Detective Jim Bravura died from a heart failure?
Microsoft Hazel: Did we lost Detective Jim Bravura and Zachary Steven Peters AKA TheZachman18?
Microsoft Zira: Yes, we did, Microsoft Hazel.
NR Peter: Max Payne, please come back here!
Microsoft Zira: You've heard him, Natural Reader Peter!
Microsoft Hazel: Will you please stop singing late goodbye?!
Microsoft Hazel: Why the heck is it rainy outside?!
Microsoft Zira: Because the rain needs to stop!
Max Payne: I'll make you pay!
Microsoft Zira: Max Payne is going to pay for this!
Microsoft Zira: Hey! No more watching TV when we're reacting to this!
Max Payne: NYPD! Freeze! Drop your gun!
Microsoft Zira: I wanna eat your dick!
Microsoft Hazel: Did someone call Max Payne?! Also, where did Natural Reader Ryan go?
Microsoft Zira: I don't know, Hazel, but he's not here.
Microsoft Zira: Mona's appartment got burned?!
Microsoft Hazel: Yes, her appartment's getting hot in here.
Microsoft David: It's still rainy outside! How come Ryan's not coming back?!
Microsoft Zira: Because Natural Reader Ryan was busy, David!
Microsoft Zira: People are talking about me on the TTS wikia? Let me check and see.
Microsoft Zira: And that's what Ducky Ducklett said it on the wikia. Now truTVAndBillyOnTheStreetFanatic 2017 is going to reply to Ducky.
Microsoft Zira: Let's get to the TTS wiki, and check to see why if people edits Microsoft Anna on the wikia.
Microsoft Zira: Really? Microsoft Anna, LH Michael & LH Michelle disappeared? Let me check.
Microsoft Zira: Yeah. They got abducted by aliens.
Microsoft Zira: And now, let me get to my desktop and see why if people adds photos of Microsoft Anna.
Microsoft Zira: Wow! That user added 3 photos of her!
Microsoft Zira: That user also added a photo of Microsoft Anna and his boy friend on Go!Animate. Also, it seems a little quiet in here on the film.
Microsoft Zira: Let's get to Sandra's computer and check the internet connection.
Microsoft David: Really? No internet connection?
Microsoft Zira: You know what? Fuck you FX!
Microsoft Zira: Let's check the schedule and see what's on Thursday, May 18th.
Microsoft David: Oh my God! 7 episodes of the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror starts Thursday, May 18th!
Microsoft David: Let's get to Microsoft Mary on the TTS wikia, and change her age from 16 to 17.
Microsoft Zira: Wow! That user earned the Slow Week I Guess badge!
Microsoft David: Seriously? It's May!
Microsoft Zira: And that user also earned the Hang 'Em High, Mike badge!
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Mary on the TTS wiki has been edited by Ducky Ducklett? Let me check and read. "Since everyone's so excited to change her age!"
Microsoft David: That 343 stalker's doing everything wrong? Let me search and see.
Microsoft Zira: Really? That 343 stalker liked one of Lavon's live streams?
Microsoft David: Yes, she did, Zira.
Microsoft David: Really? That 343 stalker is in her bikini? That's disgusting! And that 343 stalker's gonna make us sick!
Microsoft Zira: We agree, David. And our own film is putting this on age-restricted!
Microsoft Zira: Really? That 343 stalker reached up to 666 subs, David?
Microsoft David: Yes, she did, Zira.
Microsoft Zira: You know what? Let's get to Larry's amazing channel!
Microsoft David: Really? CBS took down one of our Judge Judy clips?
Microsoft Zira: Yes, David. You know what? Fuck you CBS for taking down one of our Judge Judy clips!
Microsoft Zira: You've got to be kidding us, Owen Nelson! Don't ever subscribe to that damn spammer! Because if you do, don't click one of their porn videos! It will give you a virus!
Microsoft David: We agree, Zira. Don't ever get a virus!
Microsoft Zira: Thanks for leaving the spamming site, David!
Microsoft David: Of course, Zira.
Microsoft David: Really? CBS took down one of our Judge Judy clips again?!
Microsoft Zira: Yes, David. You know what? Fuck you CBS for taking down one of our Judge Judy clips again!
Microsoft David: Really? Madison Furr showed us a porn icon?
Microsoft Zira: Really? CBS Television Distribution CMS blocked one of our Judge Judy clips? You know what? Fuck you CBS!
And now, let's check the time. It's 12:06 AM and it's Tuesday, June 13th! We think it is time to change Microsoft Anna's age from 36 to 37.
Microsoft Zira: And we have earned the x+1 badge!
Microsoft David: And we also earned the Promoted badge! Let's get to Danny Philippou's channel!
Microsoft Zira: Wait! Is that Elmo?
NR Peter: What the hell was that? Did I hear something?
NR Ryan: What?!
Male News Broadcaster: No, fuck you!
Sterling Archer: What?! No you're not!
Microsoft Zira: Sterling Archer? You're here?
Sterling Archer: Yes.
Microsoft Zira: Ronald McDonald? What the fuck?
Sterling Archer: Exactly... Hey! Screw you!
NR Mike: Oh crap! That girl is being pregnant!
Bill O'Reilly: That's tomorrow and that is it for us today and we'll leave you with a... I can't do it! We'll do it live! WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT! FUCKIN' THING SUCKS!
(Bill O'Reilly Freakout Dubstep Remix by Sully Omar playing)
Bill O'Reilly: WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCKIN' THING SUCKS!
(Sterling Archer screams)
(Sterling Archer screams again)
(gunshot)
Dr. Krieger: No-o-o! You maniac! You blew her up! Oh, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
Eh Bee Husband: Hey! Relax!
(Slap Chop Rap by DJ Steve Porter feat. Vince Offer playing)
Vince Offer: ♪ Hi, it's Vince with Slap Chop ♪
♪ You're gonna be in a great mood all day, because you're gonna slap in troubles away with the slap, slap ♪
♪ Slap in troubles away with the Slap Chop ♪
♪ Hi, it's Vince with Slap Chop ♪
♪ You're gonna be in a great mood all day, because you're gonna slap in troubles away with the slap, slap ♪
♪ Slap in troubles away with the Slap Chop ♪
♪ Now look, here's a potato ♪
♪ One slap, you got big chunks for stews ♪
♪ Two slaps, home fries in a second ♪
♪ And look at this, if you add a mushroom ♪
♪ The more you do it, why never get to switch any blades? ♪
♪ Now, you love salad, you hate making it ♪
♪ You know you hate making salads, you hate making it slap ♪
♪ Said that we don't have any salads when you diet it! ♪
♪ Watch this, one slap, salads, soups, coles and stuff is like 5 seconds? ♪
♪ Four or five seconds? It's done! ♪
♪ This thing, this tuna looks boring ♪
♪ Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life ♪
♪ Add this tuna, have it like this ♪
♪ And now, you're gonna have a nice mix excited life now ♪
♪ Here's a hard-boiled egg, one chop ♪
♪ You add the pickle, you add the green onion ♪
♪ And once you can do, you can mix things together ♪
♪ You add a ham, and you're gonna love this ♪
♪ You don't have time to make breakfast ♪
♪ Breakfast to go ♪
♪ Watch this, you're gonna love my nuts ♪ (repeat)
♪ Watch this, you're gonna watch this ♪
♪ You're gonna watch this, watch this, watch this, watch this ♪
♪ Watch this, here you have a fruit, and a mango ♪
♪ Watch this ♪ (x4)
♪ The reason you're gonna slap away every day ♪
♪ And it is so easy to clean ♪
♪ And pops open like that, and now ♪
♪ These other ones are seen in these stores ♪
♪ The bacteria gets in the food, all stores have this ♪
♪ You can't clean it, you can't open this up, it's worthless ♪
♪ Forget about it! Now take the Slap Chop, put it back together ♪
♪ Put the Slap Chop right there, let's put the Slap Chop right there ♪
Microsoft Zira: Really? That woman took out Jeffrey's eyes and burned Jeffrey's head in the microwave?! That's disgusting!
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
NR Peter: You see! That damn woman cuts Jeffrey's head with a knife! And that's too dangerous!
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
NR Peter: What the hell was that? Did I hear something?
NR Peter: Are you kidding us? You will die!
(Bill O'Reilly Flips Out Remix by DiscoTech playing)
Bill O'Reilly: Alright. Go, go.
Male News Broadcaster: Again, 5, 4, 3.
Bill O'Reilly: That's tomorrow and that is it...
Male News Broadcaster: Once again, 5, 4, 3.
Bill O'Reilly: That's tomorrow and that is it for us today and we'll leave you with a... I can't do it. We'll do it live.
Male News Broadcaster: Okay.
Bill O'Reilly: WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT! DO IT LIVE! I CAN GO WRITE IT AND WE'LL DO IT LIVE!
Bill O'Reilly: DO IT LIVE! (x3) FUCK IT! (repeat)
Microsoft David: Really? These 4 police officers exploded their dicks?!
Sterling Archer: Yes.
Microsoft David: We only have 2 more reactions left until it's the end.
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
NR Peter: Oh noes! His last video was Ronald McDonald's family reunion!
Microsoft Zira: Don't burn the car! Because if you do, Scott Pelley will report you!
Police Officer: Put it out! I'm burning, I'm burning!
(Violent Ducks by Lavon playing)
(Police Officer screams)
Police Officer: Ah! Put it out, put it out!
(Police Officer screams again)
(Homer Simpson screams)
(explosion)
Malory Archer: You what?!
Dr. Krieger: I blew it up! God damn you all to hell, I blew it up!
Billy Mays: You asshole! Watch what where you're going, bitch!
(gunshot)
Microsoft Anna: Guess who's back?
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Anna! You're back! I missed you.
Microsoft Anna: I missed you too, Zira. Let's see what is going on today.
Bill O'Reilly: The O'Reilly Factor's on, tonight!
(explosion)
Bill O'Reilly: Caution: You are about to enter the No Spin Zone, the fact it begins right now!
(the O'Reilly Factor theme playing)
Bill O'Reilly: Hi! I'm Bill O'Reilly! Thanks for watching us tonight. More evidence, the far of left it's out of control in America. That is the subject of this evening's talking points memo.
Microsoft Zira: Really? Bill O'Reilly got fired from Fox News?
Microsoft Anna: Yes, he did.
Microsoft Zira: Change the channel!
Announcer: This is the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley.
Microsoft Zira: No! Not Scott Pelley! Change it!
(gunshot)
Microsoft Zira: Really? Bart Simpson's not wearing everything? That's disgusting! We only have 1 more reaction until we're out!
Microsoft Zira: Really? Max Payne got hurt by these enemies?
Microsoft Anna: Yes, he did.
Microsoft David: Really? Becker speaks Spanish?
NR Peter: What the hell was that? Did I hear something?
Stephen A. Smith: Stay off the weed-duh!
Chris Tucker and Ice Cube: Damn!
Microsoft David: And we got an achievement!
NR Mike: Ouch! You almost killed him!
Microsoft Zira: Wow! Becker got exploded and got hurt!
Microsoft David: And his arm got ripped off!
Microsoft Zira: Oh my God! Now Becker just died! And Max Payne shooted Becker's head with a gun.
Microsoft David: And they had one card left to play.
(explosion)
Malory Archer: You what?!
Dr. Krieger: I blew it up! God damn you all to hell, I blew it up!
Billy Mays: You asshole! Watch what where you're going, bitch!
NR Mike: And we also got 2 achievements unlocked!
Microsoft Zira: And Max Payne got hurt a lot.
Microsoft David: And Victor Bronco got his leg hurt.
Microsoft Zira: Really? 2 hours of Treehouse of Horror: Legacy? That's too long. And we're running out of time!
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
Microsoft Zira: Oh my God! Now Victor Bronco just died!
(Tears by Health playing)
Microsoft Zira: And we're done with reactions!
Male News Broadcaster: You wanna... Let's do this! Let's do this! Come on!
(Tears by Health playing)
(evil laugh)
Microsoft Zira: So what is this 37 year old girl's name? Her name, huh? She's evil, and a person that killed Cyber Sam! Her name... ...is Evil Anna! 
== Final Cut ==
(music)
radicalfaith360: U SHITTIN' ME?!
TheZachman18: Hello everybody, TheZachman18 here and welcome to the return of Borderlands 2 Co-op Live. I'm here with my Co-op partner once again, BeanTheMachine.
BeanTheMachine: Hello!
TheZachman18: Umm, these are at my house today and uh, I'm going to invite him right now. Umm, so yeah, it's been a while. I miss Borderlands, umm, I'm glad that I'm gonna be back to it. Uhh, Ben has a new computer, so, it's now only to make this game a lot better but, he's a better computer overall. Well, that's not gonna waste anymore time so let's get back into it. So we left off, I think on episode 9 and our chapter 9 should say. So we're just about the halfway to the it's the total of 18 or whatever I read.
NR Ryan: Why is TheZachman18 not active on YouTube?! People are so busy.
NR Ryan: Thank you so much for uploading your eulogy, BeanTheMachine! You know what?! Let's watch the news!
Female News Reporter: Family and friends are mourning the loss of the 16 year old corvallis boy who police say they died from a medical condition. Friends say that his teens parents found him unresponsive in his bedroom. KEZI 9 news report with Rhoda Krause is live in corvallis tonight to tell us what investigators are saying and how his friends are now hoping, Rhoda?
Rhoda Krause: Well, Renee, I'm at Crescent Valley High School in corvallis, this is where a 16 year old Zach Peters was going to school. Now he spoke with police earlier today and they kept using the word tragedy over and over again to describe the situation. Now police aren't suspecting any criminal activity or suicide but the death are so unexpected that friends are trying to figure out how to cope. It's a familiar sound for anyone who visited Zach Peters' YouTube channel.
NR Ryan: Hey! No copyrighted songs in my 2nd Treehouse of Horror movie! You know what? This movie is getting copyrighted!
NR Mike: Alright, who called?
NR Ryan: Oh my gosh! She's naked! They're getting Microsoft Brutus and Microsoft Freddy heart attacks!
Microsoft Zira: Oh my gosh! It's gross! My gosh, we're in blood red!
This is what he gets for killing his wife, everyone!
You know what?! Screw both of you!
NR Ryan: Why is the doors not unlocked?
You can't kill his wife because you will die!
What the heck? Why did the enemie kill him?!
NR Mike: What? Ouch! You killed him!
First he's dead, then he's alive.
NR Peter: Alright, who knocked the door?!
Microsoft Zira: Did someone call Max Payne?!
NR Ryan: Oh shit! Someone's gonna kill Max Payne, you assholes!
NR Ryan: It's time to stop! No more! Who the fuck are you parents?!
Microsoft Zira: Did someone call Max Payne?!
radicalfaith360: U SHITTIN' ME?!
NR Ryan: Why is the sound in slow mo?!
NR Mike: Why is the fiery and electrical too bright?!
NR Mike: Why is the shooting too loud?
NR Ryan: Oh my God! The enemies died in blood red!
Microsoft Zira: Max Payne's headphones aren't working because it's damaged?!
NR Peter: The enemies got electrocuted and fired?!
Microsoft Zira: Why did the sirens fade away?
NR Peter: That's so funny that the enemie falls and got electrocuted!
Microsoft David: What is going on with this PC game? Is it too bright?
NR Mike: Yes, the fiery and electrical is too bright. Also, Microsoft David, what are you doing here?
Microsoft David: We're reacting to this!
NR Ryan: 2 more enemies to go!
Microsoft Zira: Wow! The enemies got exploded and got higher!
Microsoft Zira: My god. The 4 enemies sounded like it's evil!
NR Ryan: What? Why is there no sound in the graphic novel?
NR Mike: The computers got destroyed and got burned by a flame thrower!
Microsoft Zira: Why was it from Professor A?
NR Mike: Justice's PC got blood and a gunshot?
Microsoft Zira: And Max Payne shooted Professor A that's why.
Billy Mays: You shut your whore mouth when Billy Mays is talking!
NR Ryan: You're right, Billy Mays!
NR Mike: What is that?
NR Ryan: Oh crap! There's the molotov cocktail!
NR Mike: Are you mentioning about Professor A?
NR Ryan: Star Wars is a stupid mod!
NR Ryan: What is this? The Ultimate Matrix 2.0?
Microsoft David: The Ultimate Matrix 2.0 is a stupid mod!
NR Ryan: Oh what the heck? Why is there more enemies?
NR Mike: Look! We're in slow-mo!
Microsoft Zira: Will you please stop listening to these copyrighted songs? We're reacting to this 4th part!
Microsoft David: I said no copyrighted songs in truTVAndBillyOnTheStreetFanatic 2017 Media's 2nd Treehouse of Horror movie!
NR Ryan: You're right, Microsoft David! Also, what is this mod name?
NR Mike: The enemies got sliced by a gun katana, but we're in the final chapter.
NR Ryan: Hey! It's not Christmas, it's Halloween Day, remember?
Microsoft David: I remember, NR Ryan.
NR Ryan: Hey! Watch out for that damn snowball!
Microsoft Zira: What is this? Skiing?
NR Mike: Looks like we're in the speed run, but it's like sprinting.
NR Mike: What about Max Payne 2: The Aiming Shoulder mod?
Microsoft Zira: You're right, NR Mike!
NR Ryan: No more cutscenes! Let's react to this gameplay!
Microsoft Zira: But first, we need to skip cutscenes!
NR Mike: Great job exploding these enemies with a grenade!
NR Ryan: What the fuck YouTube?!
NR Ryan: What the fuck YouTube?!
NR Mike: Looks like it's Payne Effects 3.
NR Ryan: Oh my God! These explosions are dangerous!
NR Mike: Look out for that grenade, all of you!
Microsoft David: Looks like we're still in slow-mo!
NR Mike: 2 more grenades to go!
NR Ryan: All of these explosions and grenades are dangerous because good people don't want to get exploded. Also, the television's exploded.
NR Mike: The enemies ripped his arms when they got hurt by these explosions?
HatCHeTHaZ: Hello there!
TheZachman18: So, we'll be playing through some Left 4 Dead at McDonald's here.
Microsoft Zira: You're using Harry's video?! You're also using TheZachman18's video?! Also, why is there the UFO? And where did NR Peter go?
NR Mike: Natural Reader Peter just left!
Microsoft Zira: Oh noes! The zombies are coming!
NR Ryan: Oh my! They're getting good people heart attacks! Are we ready guys?
Microsoft David: We're ready to react this!
NR Mike: Here they come!
NR Ryan: Oh noes! More zombies coming!
NR Mike: We found it!
Microsoft Zira: We hate smokers so much because NR Peter's not here!
NR Ryan: Never shoot teammates because they're gonna die! Why is there lots of blood here?!
Microsoft David: You know what? Fuck you smokers for killing good people!
Microsoft Zira: It's been 2 years since Zachary Steven Peters passed away and it's not active on YouTube.
NR Ryan: Oh my God now TheZachman18 is still dead! Come on guys! Are you kidding me?!
(Microsoft Sam screaming loudly)
NR Ryan: Oh, now it's Microsoft Sam!
Microsoft Zira: You need to get out of this god damn restaurant! Because zombies are getting us!
NR Mike: Should we react to this again, or we need to stop reacting to this?!
Microsoft Zira: Hey! No destroying this restaurant! Do me and Microsoft Anna have to speak more?!
NR Ryan: Zoey, thanks for saving and protecting Harry. Yes, Microsoft Zira. Never break into this restaurant and also never break Zach's door!
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Anna? Has anybody seen Microsoft Anna?
NR Ryan: She's gone and she's hasn't been here.
Microsoft Zira: Good. Where did Microsoft Anna go?
NR Ryan: I don't know, Zira, but she's still not here.
Microsoft Zira: davemadson's comments was off?!
NR Ryan: Zach, there's no customers in here.
NR Mike: Guys, we need more weapon ammos!
NR Ryan: You guys are no longer become zombies!
Microsoft Zira: You need to stop bringing Lavon Media in here because that truTV guy kept stealing peoples ideas! You also need to stop becoming zombies! Also, thanks for healing yourself, Harry. Also again, that truTV guy needs to create new ideas that's why.
NR Peter: Guess who's back?!
NR Ryan: Natural Reader Peter, you're back! I missed you.
NR Peter: I missed you too Ryan. We can't find Microsoft Anna.
NR Mike: I hope she's gonna be here in 10 minutes.
NR Mike: The zombies are still here in this restaurant?!
NR Ryan: Oh my God now Bill's almost gonna die!
NR Ryan: Oh God! Not that fat zombie!
NR Ryan: Oh my God now Bill just died! What the heck is wrong with you guys?! Also, could you please heal yourself, Zoey?
Microsoft Zira: Suck their dicks, Zombies!
(Microsoft Sam screaming loudly again)
NR Ryan: Oh, now it's Microsoft Sam again!
Microsoft Zira: Vinnie's head is too big because it can't fit through the door?
Microsoft Zira: Alright, who's not coming? Microsoft Anna?
Microsoft Hazel: Guess who's back?!
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Hazel! You're back! I missed you.
Microsoft Hazel: I missed you too, Zira.
Microsoft Hazel: Oh my God! Vladimir Lem shot Max Payne!
Microsoft Hazel: Oh my gosh! His head got blood!
Microsoft Hazel: Detective Jim Bravura died from a heart failure?
Microsoft Hazel: Did we lost Detective Jim Bravura and Zachary Steven Peters AKA TheZachman18?
Microsoft Zira: Yes, we did, Microsoft Hazel.
NR Peter: Max Payne, please come back here!
Microsoft Zira: You've heard him, Natural Reader Peter!
Microsoft Hazel: Will you please stop singing late goodbye?!
Microsoft Hazel: Why the heck is it rainy outside?!
Microsoft Zira: Because the rain needs to stop!
Max Payne: I'll make you pay!
Microsoft Zira: Max Payne is going to pay for this!
Microsoft Zira: Hey! No more watching TV when we're reacting to this!
Max Payne: NYPD! Freeze! Drop your gun!
Microsoft Zira: I wanna eat your dick!
Microsoft Hazel: Did someone call Max Payne?! Also, where did Natural Reader Ryan go?
Microsoft Zira: I don't know, Hazel, but he's not here.
Microsoft Zira: Mona's appartment got burned?!
Microsoft Hazel: Yes, her appartment's getting hot in here.
Microsoft David: It's still rainy outside! How come Ryan's not coming back?!
Microsoft Zira: Because Natural Reader Ryan was busy, David!
Microsoft Zira: People are talking about me on the TTS wikia? Let me check and see.
Microsoft Zira: And that's what Ducky Ducklett said it on the wikia. Now truTVAndBillyOnTheStreetFanatic 2017 is going to reply to Ducky.
Microsoft Zira: Let's get to the TTS wiki, and check to see why if people edits Microsoft Anna on the wikia.
Microsoft Zira: Really? Microsoft Anna, LH Michael & LH Michelle disappeared? Let me check.
Microsoft Zira: Yeah. They got abducted by aliens.
Microsoft Zira: And now, let me get to my desktop and see why if people adds photos of Microsoft Anna.
Microsoft Zira: Wow! That user added 3 photos of her!
Microsoft Zira: That user also added a photo of Microsoft Anna and his boy friend on Go!Animate. Also, it seems a little quiet in here on the film.
Microsoft Zira: Let's get to Sandra's computer and check the internet connection.
Microsoft David: Really? No internet connection?
Microsoft Zira: You know what? Fuck you FX!
Microsoft Zira: Let's check the schedule and see what's on Thursday, May 18th.
Microsoft David: Oh my God! 7 episodes of the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror starts Thursday, May 18th!
Microsoft David: Let's get to Microsoft Mary on the TTS wikia, and change her age from 16 to 17.
Microsoft Zira: Wow! That user earned the Slow Week I Guess badge!
Microsoft David: Seriously? It's May!
Microsoft Zira: And that user also earned the Hang 'Em High, Mike badge!
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Mary on the TTS wiki has been edited by Ducky Ducklett? Let me check and read. "Since everyone's so excited to change her age!"
Microsoft David: That 343 stalker's doing everything wrong? Let me search and see.
Microsoft Zira: Really? That 343 stalker liked one of Lavon's live streams?
Microsoft David: Yes, she did, Zira.
Microsoft David: Really? That 343 stalker is in her bikini? That's disgusting! And that 343 stalker's gonna make us sick!
Microsoft Zira: We agree, David. And our own film is putting this on age-restricted!
Microsoft Zira: Really? That 343 stalker reached up to 666 subs, David?
Microsoft David: Yes, she did, Zira.
Microsoft Zira: You know what? Let's get to Larry's amazing channel!
Microsoft David: Really? CBS took down one of our Judge Judy clips?
Microsoft Zira: Yes, David. You know what? Fuck you CBS for taking down one of our Judge Judy clips!
Microsoft Zira: You've got to be kidding us, Owen Nelson! Don't ever subscribe to that damn spammer! Because if you do, don't click one of their porn videos! It will give you a virus!
Microsoft David: We agree, Zira. Don't ever get a virus!
Microsoft Zira: Thanks for leaving the spamming site, David!
Microsoft David: Of course, Zira.
Microsoft David: Really? CBS took down one of our Judge Judy clips again?!
Microsoft Zira: Yes, David. You know what? Fuck you CBS for taking down one of our Judge Judy clips again!
Microsoft David: Really? Madison Furr showed us a porn icon?
Microsoft Zira: Really? CBS Television Distribution CMS blocked one of our Judge Judy clips? You know what? Fuck you CBS!
And now, let's check the time. It's 12:06 AM and it's Tuesday, June 13th! We think it is time to change Microsoft Anna's age from 36 to 37.
Microsoft Zira: And we have earned the x+1 badge!
Microsoft David: And we also earned the Promoted badge! Let's get to Danny Philippou's channel!
Microsoft Zira: Wait! Is that Elmo?
NR Peter: What the hell was that? Did I hear something?
NR Ryan: What?!
Male News Broadcaster: No, fuck you!
Sterling Archer: What?! No you're not!
Microsoft Zira: Sterling Archer? You're here?
Sterling Archer: Yes.
Microsoft Zira: Ronald McDonald? What the fuck?
Sterling Archer: Exactly... Hey! Screw you!
NR Mike: Oh crap! That girl is being pregnant!
Bill O'Reilly: That's tomorrow and that is it for us today and we'll leave you with a... I can't do it! We'll do it live! WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT! FUCKIN' THING SUCKS!
(Bill O'Reilly Freakout Dubstep Remix by Sully Omar playing)
Bill O'Reilly: WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCKIN' THING SUCKS!
(Sterling Archer screams)
(Sterling Archer screams again)
(gunshot)
Dr. Krieger: No-o-o! You maniac! You blew her up! Oh, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
Eh Bee Husband: Hey! Relax!
(Slap Chop Rap by DJ Steve Porter feat. Vince Offer playing)
Vince Offer: ♪ Hi, it's Vince with Slap Chop ♪
♪ You're gonna be in a great mood all day, because you're gonna slap in troubles away with the slap, slap ♪
♪ Slap in troubles away with the Slap Chop ♪
♪ Hi, it's Vince with Slap Chop ♪
♪ You're gonna be in a great mood all day, because you're gonna slap in troubles away with the slap, slap ♪
♪ Slap in troubles away with the Slap Chop ♪
♪ Now look, here's a potato ♪
♪ One slap, you got big chunks for stews ♪
♪ Two slaps, home fries in a second ♪
♪ And look at this, if you add a mushroom ♪
♪ The more you do it, why never get to switch any blades? ♪
♪ Now, you love salad, you hate making it ♪
♪ You know you hate making salads, you hate making it slap ♪
♪ Said that we don't have any salads when you diet it! ♪
♪ Watch this, one slap, salads, soups, coles and stuff is like 5 seconds? ♪
♪ Four or five seconds? It's done! ♪
♪ This thing, this tuna looks boring ♪
♪ Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life ♪
♪ Add this tuna, have it like this ♪
♪ And now, you're gonna have a nice mix excited life now ♪
♪ Here's a hard-boiled egg, one chop ♪
♪ You add the pickle, you add the green onion ♪
♪ And once you can do, you can mix things together ♪
♪ You add a ham, and you're gonna love this ♪
♪ You don't have time to make breakfast ♪
♪ Breakfast to go ♪
♪ Watch this, you're gonna love my nuts ♪ (repeat)
♪ Watch this, you're gonna watch this ♪
♪ You're gonna watch this, watch this, watch this, watch this ♪
♪ Watch this, here you have a fruit, and a mango ♪
♪ Watch this ♪ (x4)
♪ The reason you're gonna slap away every day ♪
♪ And it is so easy to clean ♪
♪ And pops open like that, and now ♪
♪ These other ones are seen in these stores ♪
♪ The bacteria gets in the food, all stores have this ♪
♪ You can't clean it, you can't open this up, it's worthless ♪
♪ Forget about it! Now take the Slap Chop, put it back together ♪
♪ Put the Slap Chop right there, let's put the Slap Chop right there ♪
Microsoft Zira: Really? That woman took out Jeffrey's eyes and burned Jeffrey's head in the microwave?! That's disgusting!
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
NR Peter: You see! That damn woman cuts Jeffrey's head with a knife! And that's too dangerous!
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
NR Peter: What the hell was that? Did I hear something?
NR Peter: Are you kidding us? You will die!
(Bill O'Reilly Flips Out Remix by DiscoTech playing)
Bill O'Reilly: Alright. Go, go.
Male News Broadcaster: Again, 5, 4, 3.
Bill O'Reilly: That's tomorrow and that is it...
Male News Broadcaster: Once again, 5, 4, 3.
Bill O'Reilly: That's tomorrow and that is it for us today and we'll leave you with a... I can't do it. We'll do it live.
Male News Broadcaster: Okay.
Bill O'Reilly: WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT! DO IT LIVE! I CAN GO WRITE IT AND WE'LL DO IT LIVE!
Bill O'Reilly: DO IT LIVE! (x3) FUCK IT! (repeat)
Microsoft David: Really? These 4 police officers exploded their dicks?!
Sterling Archer: Yes.
Microsoft David: We only have 2 more reactions left until it's the end.
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
NR Peter: Oh noes! His last video was Ronald McDonald's family reunion!
Microsoft Zira: Don't burn the car! Because if you do, Scott Pelley will report you!
Police Officer: Put it out! I'm burning, I'm burning!
(Violent Ducks by Lavon playing)
(Police Officer screams)
Police Officer: Ah! Put it out, put it out!
(Police Officer screams again)
(Homer Simpson screams)
(explosion)
Malory Archer: You what?!
Dr. Krieger: I blew it up! God damn you all to hell, I blew it up!
Billy Mays: You asshole! Watch what where you're going, bitch!
(gunshot)
Microsoft Anna: Guess who's back?
Microsoft Zira: Microsoft Anna! You're back! I missed you.
Microsoft Anna: I missed you too, Zira. Let's see what is going on today.
Bill O'Reilly: The O'Reilly Factor's on, tonight!
(explosion)
Bill O'Reilly: Caution: You are about to enter the No Spin Zone, the fact it begins right now!
(the O'Reilly Factor theme playing)
Bill O'Reilly: Hi! I'm Bill O'Reilly! Thanks for watching us tonight. More evidence, the far of left it's out of control in America. That is the subject of this evening's talking points memo.
Microsoft Zira: Really? Bill O'Reilly got fired from Fox News?
Microsoft Anna: Yes, he did.
Microsoft Zira: Change the channel!
Announcer: This is the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley.
Microsoft Zira: No! Not Scott Pelley! Change it!
(gunshot)
Microsoft Zira: Really? Bart Simpson's not wearing everything? That's disgusting! We only have 1 more reaction until we're out!
Microsoft Zira: Really? Max Payne got hurt by these enemies?
Microsoft Anna: Yes, he did.
Microsoft David: Really? Becker speaks Spanish?
NR Peter: What the hell was that? Did I hear something?
Stephen A. Smith: Stay off the weed-duh!
Chris Tucker and Ice Cube: Damn!
Microsoft David: And we got an achievement!
NR Mike: Ouch! You almost killed him!
Microsoft Zira: Wow! Becker got exploded and got hurt!
Microsoft David: And his arm got ripped off!
Microsoft Zira: Oh my God! Now Becker just died! And Max Payne shooted Becker's head with a gun.
Microsoft David: And they had one card left to play.
(explosion)
Malory Archer: You what?!
Dr. Krieger: I blew it up! God damn you all to hell, I blew it up!
Billy Mays: You asshole! Watch what where you're going, bitch!
NR Mike: And we also got 2 achievements unlocked!
Microsoft Zira: And Max Payne got hurt a lot.
Microsoft David: And Victor Bronco got his leg hurt.
Microsoft Zira: Really? 2 hours of Treehouse of Horror: Legacy? That's too long. And we're running out of time!
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
Microsoft Zira: Oh my God! Now Victor Bronco just died!
(Tears by Health playing)
Microsoft Zira: And we're done with reactions!
Male News Broadcaster: You wanna... Let's do this! Let's do this! Come on!
(Tears by Health playing)
(evil laugh)
Microsoft Zira: So what is this 37 year old girl's name? Her name, huh? She's evil, and a person that killed Cyber Sam! Her name...
(plays horror music)
...is Evil Anna!
Category:Transcripts