Abraham Lincoln vs Ulysses S. Grant

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
VS
ULYSSES S. GRANT
BEGIN!
== Abraham Lincoln: ==
Yo it is I, Abraham Lincoln, greatest US President of all time
And I'm gonna burn Ulysses S. Grant with my rhymes
I won the war, Grant made it less than civil
Now he's in my face with his stupid drivel
Yo momma so fat, she looks like William Howard Taft
You think you can beat me in rapping, but I won't allow that
You sent Sherman to burn hot-lanta
but my rhymes will burn you so bad you'll be redder than Santa
== Ulysses S. Grant: ==
The greatest US President? Ha! You're just a big disgrace
Fly away on your bald eagle, because I'm gonna slap your face!
You won the war, ha; i made Lee surrender
Now i'll slap you down so hard you'll be staggering like a six day bender
I stole your girl, now she loves me
Once I beat you, I'll make you get on your knees
Man, with your beard, you look really uncouth
I just murdered you, call me John Wilkes Booth!
== John F. Kennedy: ==
I entered this battle, because those rhymes SUCKED!
To beat me is just pure and utter luck!
You guys won a war? I made sure mine didn't happen
You both better go away, or else I'll be slapping
Those ugly mugs! (YUCK!) , i'm America's best looking President
I got Jackie O, your old ladies look like men
You think you can beat me? That's not true, man
I'll drop bombs, like Harry S. Truman!
 JFK presses a button that drops a bomb, killing all three rappers. But out of the explosion steps...
== Thomas Jefferson: ==