Sally Acorn

Princess Sally Acorn battled Mega Man in both Sally Acorn Vs. Mega Man and its sequel, in the latter also being opposed by Astro Boy, Geno and Steve Urkel. She also made a cameo in the "congratulations" montage at the end of Shinji Ikari Vs. Rorschach (original only) and later appeared at the end of Moleman's Epic Rap Battles News where she had been roboticized by Julian Robotnik. Sally makes her proper return in Sonic Expanded Universe Vs. Star Wars Expanded Universe where she helps Sonic the Hedgehog battle Luke Skywalker and his cohorts, but after Ken Penders erases her continuity and friends, she commits suicide in despair.
She was voiced by two time guest star Ilean Ing in her first appearance, Chelsea Kuehl in her later cameo and rematch battle, Andrea Esparza in the MERB news video, and by recent cast member Stacey Patrone in the remastered battles.
==Information on the Rapper==
Princess Sally Alicia Acorn is a character in media based on but not including the Sonic the Hedgehog video game series. She is conceptually based on "Ricky", one of the rescuable small animals in the original game.
Sally Acorn was, for all intents and purposes, created by DiC Entertainment for the cartoon series simply known as Sonic the Hedgehog, where she is Sonic's love interest and the deuteragonist.
==Lyrics==
===Sally Acorn Vs. Mega Man===
====Verse 1:====
Was that supposed to upset me, you little Mega–fart?
It's hard to take you seriously when this is your cover art.
You think I'm unaware that I'm not in the games?
Or that I care a single iota about that? For shame!
It's hard to be jealous of SEGA's mediocre Sonic,
When you're the queen of the world's most underrated comic.
The way I see it, you're just a violent brute,
Yet you repeatedly fail to end your problems at their root.
You've had, what is it now, your last four titles cancelled?
Wow. Do us both a favor, and go get dismantled.
I'll give you a Knuckles sandwich like I did Fiona Fox,
So hard that you regurgitate your squealing little voice box!
Your creator abandoned you; your career is at an end.
I'll get NICOLE to delete all your NetNavi friends!
My words will stump you worse than those disappearing blocks.
Call me Elec Woman, 'cause you're gonna get shocked, Rock!
====Verse 2:====
You sound strained, Blue Bomber. You should go back into stasis.
Your maker shares his name with a twisted, evil rapist!
By the way, I'm not a squirrel, I'm a freaking chipmunk,
Though I'm not like Alvin… Unlike you, you squeaky little Punk!
I've got the brains and the beauty here; all you have is brawn.
And your voice is more cacophonic than "Okkusenman"!
This should go without saying, but I'll spit it for emphasis:
Forget Dr. Wily! Call me your Archie–nemesis!
You're supposed to be a hero, but you're acting like a badnik.
I suggest you go see X, because I think you've gone maverick!
Out of all your petty insults, not one is new to me.
Let me guess: You prefer Sonic with that psycho skank Amy?
I'll get my friends Carmelita, Krystal and Minerva,
Form a posse of vixens and quadruply serve ya'!
When you try stepping up against this righteous Mobian,
You'll find that just like with Air Man, you're never going to win!
===Sally Acorn Vs. Mega Man 2===
====Verse 1:====
Flynn made a mess, and some fans threw a fit,
But it was when that douchebag Kenny sued that everything went apeshit,
So they cast my hide aside, resolution to my plight denied,
While they brought in your rusty little rear and made the mess called Worlds Collide!
And from that poor man's "Crisis" on one Mobius and one Earth,
My homeworld's seen some major changes we can't legally reverse:
Just ask my brother or my mother. Wait, you can't; they don't exist,
But I'm still here – back in the flesh, with lightsabers on my wrists!
Burst that Bubble Lead of yours before, now watch me do it again:
Biggest mega-disgrace to your legacy since Captain–Fucking–N!
I'll be immune to every attack, when I go hard like a Mettaur's hat,
Spitting sharp words like the spikes that kill you at the slightest contact.
You know who I roll with; best believe I go fast.
Call me Iron Queen: usurp your sinking franchise from your washed–up ass!
You could say I'm like Tron Bonne, 'cause I'll be serving you forty times:
Just like her lawsuits against Gru over their henchmen's designs! (*Minion laugh*)
I'm a strong, independent rebel princess who don't need no help from Obi–Wan;
The day I let you out-rap me is the day I marry Antoine,
Because for all your talk of lasting peace, you couldn't be more reliant on violence,
So shut your whiny trap, and go pester Naugus in the Zone of Silence.
Come at me fully–Powered Up, nine E–Tanks in supply;
This Freedom Fighter queen will beat you 'til she runs those reserves dry!
No need to weasel my way through this; beating you is just my Nack.
This Acorn's like a macadamia: she's one tough nut to crack!
===Verse 2:===
THAT'S IT! I've had enough upstaging for one life,
But before I let this slide. I'd sooner be a monkey's wife!
I came here for a grudge match, not a battle royale,
But now, I'm left with no choice; Hey Rock, you asked for this, pal:
(Sonic the Hedgehog's turn)
Wait, what? No! Hey, announcer voice up above,
That's the modern Sega Sonic, not the man I know and love;
Get my real boyfriend in here so we can properly win this!
...
For the love of Furry–Jesus, of course there is! Yes!
...
Look, I don't want to argue; please just make this whole mess right:
Bring in the character as played on TV by Jaleel White!
===Moleman's Epic Rap Battles News===
VIVE LA RÉSISTANCE, YOU FAT FUCK!
What, how have I regained my free will? To be honest, I'm not quite sure, but I'm guessing it probably has something to do with the fact that I'm
Sally Alicia Goddamn Acorn.
Alright folks, the bottom line is this: there's going to be six more battles in Season 3, after which Season 4 will kick off with an all-new matchup
featuring yours truly against someone besides a certain blue robot.''
Maybe it would be, if both those battles didn't suck in the audio department, and if not for the fact that you let me get roboticized again!
==Sonic Expanded Universe Vs. Star Wars Expanded Universe:==
===Verse 1:===
Of this Overlander Joker and his tricks, I've seen enough,
And so I'm back again as promised, stepping in to queen it up!
I needn't rip off your wack weaponry to put a fight up here;
Been centerpiece de la Résistance since my adolescent years:
Out SWATting 'bots, performing sabotage and going undercover,
I succeeded Stripe with flying colors, even while discolored!
No mere cutesy critter found alongside piggies, chicks and blue jays,
I'm a one-woman Wolf Pack, no disrespect meant there to Lupe!
Know you're fucking with a princess, and no, I ain't talking incest:
What's your Force against the Source of All that is, by which I've been blessed?
Think you hold the lion's power-share? You're headed for a fall:
With Acorns' Sword in hand, I'll bring your movement to a closing crawl!
===Verse 2:===
I'll need no reset button coming back from those pot-shots of yours, bitch:
Mine will subjugate your mind; just think your husband's means of courtship,
Or the world-Roboticizer I gave up my will to do in!
Like Infinities, I'll send you off the rails and into ruin!
===Verse 3:===
You needn't give me your permission;
Elias can keep the throne: to rock chump's worlds is my life's mission!
Crossing me's a worse idea than a sentient crying mountain;
You'll end up in deeper Sorrow still: on that, you can be counting!
===Verse 4:===
Oh, that is it; EndGame starts here!
I spared Eggman at his nadir, but your cracking will be utter!
===Verse 5:===
All we'll need to counter that display rests right here in my hand;
With me through many a bizarre adventure, just call this my Stand…
===Verse 6:===
Seeing as the royal army isn't here to represent our nation:
To me, Freedom Fighters!
BATTLESTATIONS!
===Verse 7:===
There can be no stopping us!
===Verse 8:===
This Star Wars-Smashing Squad will put you in the ground without a scratch!
While Kyle triumphed at the Valley, wait 'til our full force comes, rallied,
With the strength of eight Darksiders!
===Verse 9:===
Sweet Aslan; Sonic, speak to me!
===Verse 10:===
Ha!
===Verse 11:===
The glowing eyes are no-shows, too.
===Verse 12:===
Let's be rational here; think before you use that laser-arm…
…It's Sonic's fault, if anyone's!
===Verse 13:===
AW, SHIT!
===Verse 14:===
Our spy network's got your number, Dawg; it doesn't take a Sleuth,
You all-bark, lying, far-side Dark Side douchebag, self-orphaned as a youth!
===Verse 15:===
Well, actually, I-
===Verse 16:===
That was you?! My God, it all makes too much sense; I should have known this!
===Verse 17:===
Now you know just how I feel:
My lot's gone two decades dismissed by Sega; never held as "real"!
===Verse 18:===
To write for us again?
===Verse 19:===
I'd say we have naught to fear but fear itself, from that wack rapping;
There's no chance he'll get away with this! Indeed, I doubt he'll come back;
The proof's surely in the papers from when they brought on that dumb hack!
===Verse 20:===
You sick monster… Sonic, hold me…
===Verse 21:===
There's not a Goddamn thing we can;
All we've been building up's come crashing down, thanks to a single man!
Dying's the first thing that comes to mind:
Perhaps I will fall on a saber of the laser-bladed kind;
Oh happy dagger, end my miserable existence…
Of course it's not, but he's already won! All we know's decimated;
What's left's not worth living for the love of!
===Verse 22:===
…If it isn't my old nemesis: a 'bot I know and loathe.
I've heard your luck's changed for the better lately; show up here to gloat?
So what's your point? I thought you hated me.
…Oh, you're right, Rock!
I won't go out as a coward;
Carrying on despite what we've lost, I will do all in my power
To honor our former world, and to protect the vestige left!
For hate's sake, Penders, I spit at thee, but it's far from my last breath!
===Verse 23:===
…And why should I trust in the Bumble who got me roboticized?
Well, it's sure better than nothing…
===Verse 24:===
Save your sympathy,
For you'll forget me soon enough; just let me die with dignity…
You're right; there's no hope to hold onto,
But know: though this is how freedom dies, nobody will applaud you…
………(*SEPPUKU!*)
(*Single tear…*)
==Remastered Lyrics==
===Sally Acorn Vs. Mega Man (REMASTERED)===
====Verse 1:====
Was that intended to upset me, now, you little Mega-fart?
Don't you expect I'll be afraid here; boy, I've seen your cover art!
What, do you think I'm unaware of my own absence from the games,
Or that I care the tiniest amount about that fact? For shame!
I'm not inclined to jealousy for SEGA's mediocre Sonic
When I'm the queen of the most underrated, longest-running comic!
Well, the way I look at it, you're nothing but a violent brute,
Yet you repeatedly refuse to end your problems at their root!
So, how's your franchise doing? Right: you've had your last four titles cancelled;
Wow! Do both of us a favor, and go get yourself dismantled.
I'll give you a Knuckles sandwich like I did Fiona Fox:
So hard that you'll regurgitate your whiny, squealing little voice box!
Left behind by your creator, your career is at an end.
I'll have NICOLE go and delete the lot of your NetNavi friends!
My words will stump you worse than any set of disappearing blocks:
Just call me Elec Woman, 'cause your rusty hide's in for a shock, Rock!
====Verse 2:====
You're sounding strained, Blue Bomber; you should go back into stasis.
Man, your maker shares his name with a sadistic, evil rapist!
Your squirrel jokes don't phase me, SpongeBot MetalPants; I'm a chipmunk,
Although I'm one far cry from Alvin, unlike you, you squeaky little Punk!
I've got the brains and beauty here; all you have is the brawn,
Paired with a voice that's more cacophonous than "OKKUSENMAN",
And this much ought to go without saying, but I'll spit it just for emphasis:
To Hell with Dr. Wily! Just call me your Archie-nemesis.
You claim to be a hero, but you're acting like a badnik.
I'd suggest you go report to X, 'cause I'd say you've gone maverick!
All your trite and petty insults won't suffice to verbal-slay me;
Man, I'll bet you prefer Sonic with that skanky psycho Amy!
I'll call up my homegirls Carmelita, Krystal and Minerva;
Form a badass vixen posse that'll quadruply serve ya'!
Simply put, try stepping up against this righteous Mobian,
And it's Acorn Ga Taosenai for you: you're never gonna win!
===Sally Acorn Vs. Mega Man 2 (REMASTERED)===
====Verse 1:====
Flynn made a mess, and the fans threw a fit,
And then that douchebag Kenny sued, and everything went apeshit!
And thus, I got cast aside, resolution again denied,
While they brought in your rusty little hide and had our worlds collide!
And from that poor man's "Crisis" on one Mobius and one Earth,
My homeworld's gone through major changes, we can't legally reverse:
Just ask my brother and my mother who no longer exist!
But I'm still here – back in the flesh, with lightsabers on my wrists!
Burst your Bubble Lead before, now watch me do it again:
Your biggest mega–embarrassment since Captain–Freaking–N!
Immune to all your attacks, like a Mettaur's hard hat,
With words so sharp, you'll explode at the slightest contact.
You know who I roll with; best believe I go fast.
Like Iron Queen, usurp your sinking franchise from your washed–up ass!
You could say I'm like Tron Bonne, because I'll serve you forty times,
Just like her lawsuits against Gru for stolen henchmen designs!
A rebel leader princess who needs no help from Obi–Wan;
The day I throw a fight to you's the day I marry Antoine,
'Cause you're a "peacekeeper" that couldn't be more reliant on violence,
With a voice so whiny, oughta seal you in the Zone of Silence.
Fight me fully–Powered Up, with nine E–Tanks in supply;
This Freedom Fighter queen will whoop you 'til those reserves run dry!
Don't need to weasel my way through this; beating you is my Nack.
This Acorn's like a macadamia: one tough nut to crack!
====Verse 2:====
THAT'S IT, ENOUGH! I've been upstaged enough times for one life,
So don't you think I'll let this slide; I'd sooner be a monkey's wife,
Because I came here for a grudge match, not a battle royale,
But now, you leave me with no choice. Hey, you asked for this, pal:
(Sonic the Hedgehog's verse)
What? No! Hey, you – announcer voice up above,
That's the modern Sega Sonic, not the one I know and love;
Get my real boyfriend in here so we can properly win this!
...
For the love of Furry–Jesus, yes it does, dude! Yes!
...
Look, I don't want to argue; just make this whole mess right:
Bring in the character as played on TV by Jaleel White!
==Trivia==
*She is the first person of royalty to rap in the series.
*She is the first DiC character in the series, the second being Penny Gadget in the battle immediately following Sally's debut.
*Sally is the second character to kill herself in the series after Inspector Javert.
**Moleman stated the killing off of Sally Acorn, a self-described waifu, near the end as something he did not want to do, but felt was necessary given the circumstances of the Archie Sonic comics. https://molemanninethousand.tumblr.com/post/177673145603/merb-43-e-mickey-mouse-vs-ken-penders
Category:Characters