Chocolate With Nuts EQG Version A Spongebob Parody

[Rainbow Dash is sitting inside of a box humming. She checks her watch. The mailman opens the mailbox, which turns out to be Rainbow Dash is sitting inside her mailbox]
Rainbow Dash: [pops her face through the mailbox] Hi, mailman!
[The mailman yells in fear, and runs off dropping some mail]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, [gets out of the mailbox] see you tomorrow!
[Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi [Twilight Sparkle walks up]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, the mail's here!
Sci-Twi: Yeah, What did you get?
Rainbow Dash: Let's see... [Looks through the mail tossing some letters] Tank, Tank, Tank, Tank, Tank, Tank, Tank, Tank! Hey a magazine!
[Rainbow Dash looks at the magazine]
Rainbow Dash: That's funny, I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Living Digest.
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi: [They look inside the magazine] Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Look at all these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living!
[A picture of a rich person's swimming pool is shown]
Rainbow Dash: This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool!
[A picture is shown of an old, rich person surrounded with bags of money]
Pinkie Pie: [Points at the man's feet] This guy's got shoes!
Rarity: Give me that! [Takes the magazine rudely] Stealing my mail, eh? You're lucky i'm your friend and I don't report you to the authorities.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Rarity, how do the people in that magazine get all that money?
Rarity: They're entrepreneurs. They sell things to people.
Rainbow Dash: What kind of things?
Rarity: How should I know? Things people wanna buy. [walks off] Now keep your hands off my mail.
Rainbow Dash: That's it, Girls! We gotta becomes entrepreneurs!
Pinkie Pie: Is that gonna hurt?
Sci-Twi: No, Pinkie Pie, a entrepreneur is the process of designing, launching and running a new business,
Rainbow Dash: That's right Twi, Quick, Pinks, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?
Pinkie Pie: Uh... [sweats] More time for thinking.
Rainbow Dash: No, something real, an item, something you would pay for.
Pinkie Pie: [pops up behind her] A chocolate bar?
Rainbow Dash: That's a great idea, Pinkie Pie! We'll become traveling chocolate bar saleswoman!
Sci-Twi: Yeah! Let's do this!
[The scene changes to the three girls exiting a grocery store carrying many chocolate bars]
Rainbow Dash: Fancy living, here we come!
Pinkie Pie: Make way for a couple of ontre-prenyouers! [Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-twi walk up to a house]
Rainbow Dash: [Rainbow Dash runs up and knocks on the door, Derpy opens the door]
Rainbow Dash: Good afternoon, Derpy, Could we interest you in some [holds up a chocolate bar] chocolate?
Derpy: Chocolate? Did you say, Chocolate?!
Pinkie Pie: Yes, Mrs. With or without nuts? [holds up two chocolate bars]
Sci-Twi: That will be cost 20 bucks.
Derpy: Chocolate?! [bloodshot eyes] Chocolate?! Chocolate! Chocolate!
[Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Sci-Twi look at each other horrified, Then slowly back away, and then run off. Derpy chases them while madly screaming "Chocolate!". The scene cuts to Rainbow Dash ringing the doorbell of another house]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, the first lady didn't count. This is our real first step! [Rings the bell Adagio Dazzle opens the door] Good morning, Adagio! Would you like to buy some chocolate?
Adagio Dazzle: Chocolate bars, eh?
Rainbow Dash: Yes, Ma'am, We are chocolate bar saleswoman!
Adagio Dazzle: Ha! A couple of mediocre saleswoman if you ask me. That's no way to carry your merchandise!
[Pinkie Pie is shown holding many chocolate bars in her hands]
Adagio Dazzle: No, no no no, wrong. You girls wanna be good saleswoman, right?
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi: Oh, most certainly, Ma'am!
Adagio Dazzle: Well, [chuckles] no self respecting candy bar saleswoman would be caught dead without one of these! [She holds up a bright-orange bag]
Rainbow Dash: Wow... what is it?
Adagio Dazzle: It's a candy bar bag, you knucklehead! It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort!
[Rainbow Dash tries to touch it]
Adagio Dazzle: [pulls bag away] But, I'm wasting my time. [Walks inside] You don't need these bags.
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: We need 'em! We need 'em!
Sci-Twi: Uh Girls? I don't think that's good idea...
Rainbow Dash: Thanks, Dagie!
[Adagio Dazzle grins, the scene changes to Adagio Dazzle Scounting money. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are walking away with armfuls of bags while Sci-Twi is annoyed]
Adagio Dazzle: So long, Girls! Happy hunting! [Laughs when the three aren't looking] Suckers... [walks back inside]
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: [singing as they run off] Fancy livin', here we come! La la la la, la!
Sci-Twi: Girls! That was a horrible idea! We're supposed to making money! No give them away!
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry Twi, We just needed something to carry the merchandise easier. I'm sure we can make money to another house, Let's try next door!
[Rainbow Dash walks up and rings the doorbell with her foot, Adagio Dazzle comes out]
Adagio Dazzle: Yes?
Rainbow Dash: Adagio Dazzle? Say, weren't you the same girl who sold us these candy bar bags?
Adagio Dazzle: I... don't recall. But it looks to me like you fellas have got a lot of bags there. You three lady killers are too smart to be without one of my patented Candy Bar Bag Carrying Bags. [Holds up two large maroon bags]
Pinkie Pie: [pulls out money] We'll take 20!
Sci-Twi: Pinkie Pie! (Facepalms) Ugh!
[Scene changes to Rainbow Dash knocking on the door of a different house, Bon Bon comes out]
Bon Bon: Oh, what can I do for you three nice saleswoman girls?
Rainbow Dash: We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one?
Bon Bon: That sounds heavenly! I'll take one.
Rainbow Dash: One chocolate bar coming up!
[Rainbow Dash unzips the bag, but pulls out another bag]
Rainbow Dash: Uh?
[keeps pulling more bags, Laughs nervously Sci-Twi Looks really annoyed and shakes her head]
Bon Bon: [Bon Bon looks at her watch] I don't have time for this.
Sci-Twi: No wait, Ugh!!
[Bon Bon goes back inside, and then Rainbow Dash pulls out a chocolate bar]
Sci-Twi: Great, We lost a customer!
Rainbow Dash: I... got it! One chocolate bar for the nice— [Sees something off camera; it is revealed to be Derpy, still screaming]
Derpy: [Offscreen] Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate!
Rainbow Dash: Customer. [Derpy chases Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi again while screaming "Chocolate!". The scene cuts to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi sitting in a diner] We're not doing so well, Girls. We need a new approach, a new tactic.
Pinkie Pie: Hm... I got it! Let's get naked!
Rainbow Dash: No, let's save that for when we're selling real estate. There must be something. What was the reason we bought those bags?
Pinkie Pie: She said we were mediocre..
Rainbow Dash: That's it! She made us feel special!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, she did... I'm going back to buy more bags!
Sci-Twi: (annoyed again) I can't believe this.
[Pinkie Pie runs to the door]
Rainbow Dash: No, wait, Pinkie!
[Pinkie Pie freezes in place]
Rainbow Dash: Why don't we try being nice?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, okay.
[Scene changes to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi walking up to a customer's door]
Rainbow Dash: Remember, Girls, flatter the customer. Make her feel good.
[Pinkie Pie knocks on the door, Fluttershy opens the door]
Fluttershy: Hello?
Pinkie Pie: I love you.
[A harp is heard playing, Fluttershy stares blanky at Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi for a few seconds, then she slams her door shut in extreme disgust, a tuba is heard playing after the slamming]
Rainbow Dash: I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, Pinks. Let me try.
[Rainbow Dash rings the doorbell, Fluttershy opens the door looking scared]
Fluttershy: Please. G-Go away!
Rainbow Dash: Um, [clears throat] H-H-How you doin'?
Fluttershy: How am I doing?
Rainbow Dash: Wanna buy some chocolate?
Pinkie Pie: We got her now!
Sci-Twi: That will be cost 20 bucks.
Fluttershy: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. Isn't that right, gummy girl?
[Pokes Pinkie Pie's belly and is bubbling]
Pinkie Pie: Hee hee, it tickles!
Fluttershy: As you can see, me and chocolate... [quietly] no longer hang.
[She holds up a picture of an obese self at age 13]
Fluttershy: You can keep that for 5 bucks.
Pinkie Pie: [pulls out money] I'll take 10!
Sci-Twi: (growls in annoyance and facepalms) Ugh!!
[Cut to Rainbow Dash with a sad look on her face walking, a sad song plays]
Rainbow Dash: We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I got a feeling that were too easily distracted.
[Cut to Pinkie Pie staring at the pictures]
Pinkie Pie: Huh?
[Far cut]
Rainbow Dash: [raising her hand] Let's make a pact right now that we will stay focused on selling at the next house.
Pinkie Pie: [Removing pictures from her face] Huh?
Rainbow Dash: [Holding out her hand] Let's shake on it.
Pinkie Pie: [Looking at Ranbow Dash confused] Did you say something?
[Cut to the other customer's house, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi entering the view]
Rainbow Dash: Remember, Girls, focus.
[Cut to the door, Rainbow Dash knocks on it, Sandalwood answers]
Sandalwood: Yes?
Rainbow Dash: Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars. [holds up a chocolate bar]
[Pinkie Pie somehow moves up to Sandalwood with her eyes going in and out back and forth]
Sandalwood: Why is that dork girl here staring at me?
[Cut to Pinkie Pie's eyes]
Pinkie Pie: Focusing.
[Cut to the inside of Sandalwood's house]
Sandalwood: [freaks out] Back up, Jack!
[He slams the door on Pinkie Pie's eyes, Pinkie Pie is heard saying "Oof!" from the other side of the door]
Pinkie Pie: [looking around Sandalwood's house] Nice place you got in here. [Sandalwood rolls his eyes]
[Clock wipe comes out and cut to the next scene. Pinkie Pie is eating a chocolate bar]
Rainbow Dash: I can't understand girls what were doing wrong.
Pinkie Pie: I can't understand anything.
Sci-Twi: It's because we're not doing anything right.
Rainbow Dash: There's something to this selling game that were just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that! [Points to a sign]
[Cut to the sign]
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi: [reading the sign] Eat Weed Chips, They're Delicious.
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi]
Rainbow Dash: They are most certainly not delicious!
Pinkie Pie: [smiling] Not the way I use them!
[Cut to Sci-Twi]
Sci-Twi: I'll never gonna eat that!
[Cut to Rainbow Dash]
Rainbow Dash: Yet they sell millions of bags a day!
[Cut to Pinkie Pie]
Pinkie Pie: Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many.
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi]
Rainbow Dash: [Happily] That's it, Girls! We've gotta stretch the truth!
Derpy: [Offscreen] Chocolate!
[Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi run off, Cut to a house]
Rainbow Dash: We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up, and then you come in for the kill!
Pinkie Pie: The kill!
Sci-Twi: Let's just sell Chocolate bars.
[Rainbow Dash uses the doorbell, A old woman answers]
Old Woman: Yes?
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi]
Rainbow Dash: Hello, young lady.
[Rainbow Dash winks at Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie then chuckles and winks at her while Sci-Twi rolled her eyes]
Rainbow Dash: We're selling chocolate. [Getting a closer look at the elderly] Is your mother home?
[Cut to the elderly]
Old Woman: Mom!
Old Woman's Mother: [Entering from the right side of the house who is very old in a wheelchair] What, what, what's all the yelling?
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi who have stunned looks on their faces. Cut back to the elderly's mother]
Old Woman's Mother: You just can't wait for me to die, can you?
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi]
Old Woman: They're selling chocolate.
Old Woman's Mother: Chocolate?
Old Woman: Yeah!
[Cut to the two elderlys]
Old Woman's Mother: What, what are they selling?
Old Woman: Chocolates!
Old Woman's Mother: What?
Old Woman: Chocolates!
Granny Smith's Mother: I can't hear you!
Old Woman: They're selling chocolates!
Old Woman's Mother: They're selling chocolate?
Old Woman: Yeah!
[Cut to a close-up of the old woman's mother smiling]
Old Woman's Mother: Chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate.
[Cut back to view to the two elderlys]
Old Woman's Mother: I always hated it!
[Cut to Rainbow Dash sweating]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating. It's for...
[Pinkie Pie comes from the top left]
Pinkie Pie: You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.
[Cut to the, two elderlys, her daughter is heard saying no constantly]
Old Woman's Mother: Live forever you say? I'll take one. [the old woman slaps her face in annoyance. Cut to the outside]
Sci-Twi: 20 bucks please.
[the old woman pays Rainbow Dash 20 dollars]
Old Woman's Mother: [From inside house] Come on, you lazy sack! [Cut to the old woman] Start rubbing me with that chocolate!
Old Woman: [looking at the girls angrily] I hate you. [Slams door. Cut Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi]
Rainbow Dash: If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!
Pinkie Pie: [Raising hand] Hooray for lying!
Sci-Twi: Yeah!
[transition to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi, Pinkie Pie is seen with a look that was about to make him laugh]
Rainbow Dash: It'll make your hair grow.
[Cut to a bald man]
Man: Great! My wife's trying to grow a beard!
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi Pinkie Pie has a sad face this time]
Sci-Twi: They'll make you sound smart.
[Cut to the hillbilly holding money]
Hillbilly: [southern accent] I'll take 20!
[Cut to Pinkie Pie]
Pinkie Pie: It'll keep your face from getting any uglier.
[Cut to the two Pinkie Pies]
Pinkie Pie 2: Just in time.
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi over and over]
Sci-Twi: They'll make you fly!
Pinkie Pie: You'll fall in love!
Rainbow Dash: They'll bring world peace!
Sci-Twi: [echoing] You'll rule the world!
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi are wrapped in casts. Cut close to Pinkie Pie]
Pinkie Pie: This'll be the best lie yet!
[Cut to Rainbow Dash]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, this guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate!
[Cut to Sci-Twi]
Sci-Twi: Yeah, and we can earn more money!
[Customer opens door]
Customer: What can I do for you girls?
[Cut to Rainbow Dash]
Rainbow Dash: Hello, sir. Would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation.
Customer: Really?
[Cut to the customer, who apparently is in a cast covering his entire body]
Customer: Small world. What's the matter with you girls?
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi, who are completely stunned]
Cuistomer: Ah, some guys have all the luck.
[A violin begins]
Customer: I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms.
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi, they both have faces meaning that they were about to cry]
Customer: At night, [As Rainbow Dash looks up sadly, a tear runs down her face] I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
[Cut to the customer, the wires snap]
Customer: [About to fall] Oh, no...
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi]
Sci-Twi: Oh, poor guy!
Rainbow Dash: Quick, Girls, let's help him!
[Cut to the inside of the house. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi enter from the left]
Rainbow Dash: Careful, girls put him down gently.
[Pinkie Pie drops the customer's head, a glass breaking sound is heard, cut close to the customer]
Customer: [In pain] Ow...!
[Cut to Rainbow Dash]
Rainbow Dash: Poor, poor man. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you?
[Cut to the customer]
Customer: Well, there is one thing... as you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily, I am able to keep myself alive by selling... chocolate bars. [gestures his head over to a massive stack of chocolate bar boxes.]
Sci-Twi: No thanks, we're...
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: We need them!
Sci-Twi: Girls, We weren't supposed to spend the money!
[Clock Wipe come up and cut to the next scene. Cut to the customer looking out his window as Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi walk by while Sci-Twi looks annoyed]
Sci-Twi: You gotta be kidding me.
Customer: Such nice girls, [far cut to the customer] it does my heart good to con a couple of Class A suckeroonies like those three! Ha ha ha!
[Cut to a close-up of the customer laughing while looking at his cash, zipping his costume off to reveal himself was Adagio Dazzle from earlier. Cut to the street]
Rainbow Dash: [grunting] Don't get me wrong, Girls. It's great that we helped that guy out, but there's no one left in town to sell chocolate bars to.
[Rainbow Dash makes another grunting noise, she trips up on a rock and falls, cut to Rainbow Dash with a box flat on her face]
Rainbow Dash: Let's admit it, Girls. We're failures.
Sci-Twi: Well, This wouldn't happened if you two listen to me.
Pinkie Pie: [Walking in from the left] I can live with that. [Places box on Rainbow Dash's box and sits on it, making a small squeaking sound]
Rainbow Dash: Let's change our names to Why, Bother and Who.
[Derpy appears behind the box]
Derpy: Chocolate! [Screams and knocks Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi and the boxes over. Cuts to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi. Hugging each other, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi babble]
Rainbow Dash: [simultaneously with Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi] No! Don't hurt us. Please don't hurt me. No no. Please...
Pinkie Pie: [simultaneously with Rainbow Dash and Sci-Twi] No! Have mercy on me! Please spare me!
Sci-Twi: [simultaneously with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie] Please! Don't kills us! What do you want from us?!
[Cut to Derpy laughing manically]
Derpy: Finally! I've been trying to catch you girls all day! Now that I got you right where I want you... [turns back to normal] I'd like to buy all your chocolate. [Holds up a large amount of cash. Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi looking shocked, chocolate bars fall out of Pinkie Pie's hair, along with a Hershey's kiss. Cut back to the four, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sci-Twi melt into a puddle in their colors]
Rainbow Dash: Thank you for your patronage.
[Clock Wipe come up and cut to the next scene, Sci-Twi is pushing a wheelbarrow]
Sci-Twi: Are we living the fancy life yet, Girls?
[Cut to the money in the barrel, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie pops out]
Rainbow Dash: Not yet, Twi! First, we got to spend all the money.
[Cut to the three]
Pinkie Pie: But what are we going to spend it on?
[Cut to Rainbow Dash thinking. Clock Wipe come up and cut to the next scene, with a fancy restaurant a with "Fancy!" on top is seen. Cut to the inside of the restaurant where Rarity is in a red dress]
Rarity: Good evening, sir. Table for one, please.
Server: Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party.
[Cut to Rarity shocked]
Rarity: But it's my only night to be fancy! Oh, who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant?
Server: Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs [leaning over to Rarity] and their dates.
[Cut to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Sci-Twi and the two elderlys, Who also are in dresses the daughter is seen holding a glass]
Rainbow Dash: So, how long have you two ladies known each other?
[Pause]
Old Woman's Mother: What? What did She say?
Category:My Little Pony Parodies
Category:Parodies