The Emperor's New Groove/Trailer transcripts

==Theatrical Trailer==
The Walt Disney Pictures logo plays, with a thunderstorm soundtracking it. It crossfades to the Emperor's palace.
:Announcer: Long ago, in a faraway land, (Another lightning strike, then we zoom in closer to the palace.) there was a prosperous kingdom (More lightning) ruled by a young emperor.
:Emperor Kuzco (David Spade): (Kicks the door open as the soundtrack changes) Boom, baby!
Kuzco dances around.
:Announcer: He had a serious attitude.
:Kuzco: (After bumping into an old man) You threw off my groove!
:Guard: I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the Emperor's groove.
:Old Man: (Whilst being thrown out of the palace) Sorry!
:Announcer: (Cut to Yzma [Eartha Kitt]) ...an evil advisor...
:Kuzco: By the way, you're fired.
:Yzma: (In her lab, after smashing a bust of Kuzco) I'll take over and rule the empire!
:Announcer: (After Yzma and Kronk [Patrick Warburton] invite him for a drink, Kuzco spins his chair around and sits in it) ...and one major problem.
:Yzma: (Presenting her latest potion) I'll just poison him with this!
Kuzco drinks from the chalice... only to grow llama ears. Yzma is shocked.
:Kuzco: Hey Kronk, can you top me off, pal, be a friend?
Kuzco completes his transformation into a llama, and Kronk hits him on the head with a frying pan.
:Yzma: A llama?! (Kuzco slumps over onto the table.) He's supposed to be DEAD!
:Kronk: Yeah, weird.
Cut to outside the palace, with Kronk carrying Kuzco around in a sack.
:Yzma: Take him out of town and finish the job! (Kronk steps on a cat's tail, and next thing you know...)
:Announcer: Now, his only hope is a humble peasant.
:Pacha (John Goodman): Demon llama!
:Kuzco: Demon llama? Where! (He stares at another llama, and they scream at each other) You kidnapped me!
:Pacha: Why would I kidnap a llama?
:Kuzco: You're the criminal mastermind, not me!
:Pacha: What?
Back in Yzma's lair...
:Yzma: Tell me Kuzco's dead.
Kuzco is instead shown falling down a tree.
:Kronk: Well, he's not as dead as we would have hoped.
Kuzco is now in a forest, surrounded by panthers.
:Kuzco: Uh-oh.
A squirrel makes a balloon sculpture of a llama. Kuzco is terrified as it intends to pop it.
:Kuzco: N-no, no-no-no...
It's popped.
:Kuzco: HA!
The panthers are now angry, and they chase Kuzco right onto a cliff. Pacha swings in... and misses Kuzco. He returns, and grabs him this time.
:Pacha: Your Highness, I got you! You're safe now! (They land on a tree, with the vine tying the both of them up.) Or not. (The branch breaks, and the duo falls into a river. The music switches to Earth, Wind & Fire's "Let's Groove." We then see a Yzma statue, followed by Kuzco and Pacha parachuting.)
:Kuzco: No touchy. (Pacha slams into him, knocking him against a rock face.)
:Pacha: Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you?!
:Kuzco: (In a higher voice) Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.
In the jungle, Kuzco is knocked out.
:Announcer: This holiday season...
Kuzco's tongue slumps out, grossing Pacha out.
:Pacha: Why me?
:Announcer: (As Pacha gives Kuzco mouth-to-mouth) ...the Emperor's got a new look...
Kuzco comes to, and upon the realization of what Pacha's doing to him, screams and flinches backward. The scene cuts to them tumbling down a cliff.
:Announcer: ...a new partner...
:Pacha: We're gonna have to work together to get out of this!
:Kuzco: (As he and Pacha make their climb up) Y'know, it's a good thing you're not a big fat guy, or this would be REALLY difficult!
:Announcer: ...and a brand new groove. (As he says this, Pacha shakes a vine on the tree, and Kuzco is scared of what falls down, crawling on his person.)
:Kuzco: SCORPIONS! (He screams, shaking them off. Pacha grabs his tail...)
:Pacha: Kuzco!
...sending him downward and into a cave. The scorpions are now crawling onto Pacha, while Kuzco has bats flying into his mouth.
:Announcer: Walt Disney Pictures presents...
Pacha pulls Kuzco out, and the music stops. They awkwardly laugh at each other, and we cut to the film's title.
:Announcer: ...The Emperor's New Groove.
Pacha and Kuzco, tied to the tree branch, fall into a river stream.
:Pacha: Uh-oh.
:Kuzco: Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
:Pacha: Yep.
:Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
:Pacha: Most likely.
:Kuzco: Bring it on. (As they go over the waterfall) BOOOOO-YAHHHAHAHAHA!
Fade out, and "DECEMBER 2000" zooms in.
:Announcer: December 2000 in theaters everywhere.
The trailer ends.
==Home Video Trailer==
Category:Trailer transcripts
Category:Audio transcripts