Albert Wesker

Albert Wesker is a guy who was the former leader of S.T.A.R.S., but they kicked his sorry heiney out and he went off. Albert Wesker was infamous for his frequent simping, so it got him distracted too easily. And now, he is gone. Good riddance, too. He was holding everyone down!
We should also probably mention he is in space now. He has a pretty funny space station that he flies in. It is located- we don't know where. In this location, he creates OVER 9000 variants on the T-Virus and plans where to drop them on the UnWorld.
==Life==
===Early ↑↑↑ Word Up Here===
We do not know too much, if at all. But what we do know is that Wesker's father was really obsessed with the T-5000, and he was also very blonde. His mother watched the movie, "The Terminator" and was one of those annoying pop-culture geeks who never shut up about stuff from the 1980s and 1990s like Harry Potter. She wanted to name Albert, "Arnold", like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but his dad changed that so that it did not get too excessive.
Arnold Albert loved to run around and pretend to be a doctor. One day, however, he grabbed a syringe from the ground and stabbed his friend, "Aluvores Vuolaj", with it. It gave him a bad case of This Person Thinks He Or She Is A Monorail, and he proceded to act like one off a stair rail. Aluvores Vuolaj then fell into a canal where a crocodile ate him. Albert Wesker was really sad, and he cried.
=== S.T.A.R.S. ===
Wesker was one of the people who the Police ordered to form S.T.A.R.S. with. Since he was cold hearted ever since that brutal childhood incident, they made him the leader. Wesker loved being leader, but he was also secretley doing the thing they wanted to stop. Wesker was mutating the T-Virus like nuts!
Thankfully, nobody else noticed. What they did notice, however, was his excess chasing of women. Mr. Wesker simped for so many women, like Laa-Laa (what?), Alt 2.0 (what?), Yuri (I̴͍̚s̵̀͜n̷̦͊'̷͔̀t̷͇͗ ̸̱̋s̸͍͋ ̸̃͜h̵̺͂e̶͓̿ ̴͉̿r̷̻̕o̸̫̍t̸̒͜t̵̬̒i̸̳̋ ̸̯̚n̴̼̎g̴̭͌ ̷͈̊i̶̟̓n̸̠͒ ̴̩́p̶̳̓û̶̪r̴͇͌g̴̫̐a̸͍̋ṱ̷͒ȏ̴̞r̶̨͒y̷͓͠?̶͖͠) and Darth Vader (WHAT?). But fellow S.T.A.R.S. member Rebecca Chambers was who he was really infatuated with. Unfortunately, he would not work when he was in love, so these four girls and one guy forever danced in his mind, and he did not do work.
The other members of S.T.A.R.S. got sick of his stupidity. They got Chris Redfield to throw him into a volcano located somewhere in Pickle Land. Wesker got worried, so he took the first- well first-aid thingy he could find, and injected himself with it. Then he freaked out, it was the same syringe that killed Aluvores Vuolaj! But something odd happened. This was not the monorail thing. This disease, called, "Uroboros", was actually selective as to what it did to who. And it protected Wesker with black worm armor!
Wesker then acted like he was dead and got everyone off his tail.
=== Now ===
Wesker then created a giant space station because he could. Wesker revealed to S.T.A.R.S. that he is not dead. S.T.A.R.S. is now trying to track him down. But they don't know how. He payed George W. Bush 3 UnDollars to work with him. Currently, he is brewing a concotion of T-Virus, decades old Raising Cane's Sauce (time travel), melted ball bearings, oil, and muntjac deer saliva to create the fearful, evil, festering, T-GEORGE W. BUSH VIRUS!
Category:Guys
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Category:Capcom Characters