News: Some talk about artificial species

New Spin Times
 Some talk about artificial species
Heyo! It's your news reporter, Porygons, here! There's nothing very interesting going on, but i still need to make a issue 3 to 5 times per week, or else i'll become the printer. And boi, is the Printer Job hard. I was the printer before i got promoted to News writer. Anyways, without further ado, because i have no news for y'all, i'll talk about artificial species.
There are two things scientists are doing a lot right now: Researching melted cheese boiz, and you guessed it: making artificial species.
Artificial species can't be fully artificial and released to the wild. That's illegal. If someone does that, they will get arrested and have a significant chance of getting the death penalty. The specimen will also be brought to a conservation center. You can know if a artificial species is 100% artificial if the patterns in their brain's DNA is H-E-W-B, if it starts with that pattern it also counts. If it only has part only part of that pattern or starts with only part of that pattern, that species is not 100% artificial. The only non-artificial species that has that genome in their brains are the Bread boiz, whose heads are stuck in bread. So check what species you're checking, it might be a Bread boi! ;)
Some artificial species might be beneficial for spinnyboiz. Take the pupper boiz, for example. They can generate stars. Those stars can be harvested by all sorts of spinnyboiz and can be used to make cool things like fireworks, LED lights, glitter, and even those super-shiny-in-moderation lights you see in fancy manors! I know those exist because once i visited the CEO's manor, and they had those beautiful lightbulbs. She said they were powered by stars generated by Pupper boiz. That's pretty cool!
But... if it's a good thing, there must be an opposite for it, right? The puppet boiz are artificial and they ain't no good. They have evolved since the last time someone made their page on this wiki. Not much though, they only evolved enough to be intelligent to kidnap spinnyboiz they hypnotize and find their way home with a inner GPS. They also evolved enough to mimic certain species of spinnyboiz. And there is not one specimen, not two, not five, not whatever small number you imagine. There's thousands. That's right, thousands of puppet boiz exist right now. Don't worry, they're more common around rural areas, such as Kimbara and Appondale. You probably live somewhere in Jamaa Township so you won't be in danger. If you are on those areas i told you, you better move to another place in Jamaa. And nope, i'm not joking.
If you stumble upon a Puppet boi, no worries, i know what to do. Once i found one but my friend told me what to do. If you don't have any roommates or friends, sorry mate, if you found one you're dead.
# Don't only cover your ears so you can't hear the puppet boi, they can also hypnotize by eye contact. Use a blindfold to cover your eyes AND cover your ears. If you don't have a blindfold or you're nearly getting hypnotized and with no longer the mind of a spinnyboi and your blindfold is far away, just close your eyes as tight as possible and as long as possible.
# Ask for your roommate/friend to guide you around the house. If you can guide yourself around the house, you can skip this step.
# Ask for your friend to guide you to the exit of your home. If you can guide yourself around the house, just go to the exit.
# If the puppet boi is chasing you, run away. If they aren't, read the next step.
# Keep running until the puppet boi is no longer chasing you. Afterwards, take off your blindfold or open your eyes, leave (running, just in case they got tired while chasing you) and once they're not chasing you call the Meme Control and wait for them to come. Once they take out the puppet boi, you can come back home and go back to what were you doing like nothing ever happened.
That's what you do if you find a puppet boi! My friend got hypnotized and became a cheese tiger when i found one once though. That's... sad.
Anyways, let's go back to talking about other artificial species.
You know about the Hackyboi who got the Hoppyboi, Error? What they were going to do with the hoppy boi was dangerous, if they failed when injecting the DNA on the Hoppy boi, they could die, and hoppy boiz would be totally extinct. This is why making artificial species can be sometimes dangerous, specially on endangered species that are on the verge of extinction. If we lost the last hoppy boi, plant population would go out of control, because they eat plants a lot, and that makes sure plants don't overgrow. I feel really bad for the Hoppy boi. I mean, they're a sentient spinnyboi! Just like all of us! If they were killed, that won't be considered hunting, they're sentient, so that would be considered murder instead.
It's wrong to make artificial species illegally. If you're someone who makes artificial species, i'll let you know you're doing something wrong. If you don't stop even after i said that, you'll be caught sooner or later, trust me.
 Lots of species with sharp teeth popping up recently
Lots of species with fangs or sharp teeth have been becoming common recently. You name it: Melted cheese boiz, shark boiz, sharky boiz, pretty much all species that have sharp teeth. It's becoming dangerous. Sharky boi bites are becoming more frequent for some reason.
I got bitten by a sharky boi today myself. It hurt, but luckily it wasn't a very strong bite, it was just a warning bite from the sharky boi because it was annoyed. If i annoyed that sharky boi more though, even after that bite, i could get seriously hurt. Good thing i left before i annoyed the sharky boi even more.
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Jeans with Beans: CEO
Porygons: News Writer
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Category:New Spin Times