You Can Dress Him Up

==Chapter One==
By Litto
To prove himself worthy of being a member of the family, Litto had been given two tasks. First, find another family member who needed help, and provide that assistance. This had not been easy, as Litto was not that good at making friends. Fortunately, the family was, and they made meeting other family members fairly easy. He finally commited to two tasks. One was to mine and smelt a stack of mythril bars for Talula, so she could do her engineering magic. The second was a yet to be named task for Krelle. Talula had promised Krelle would not demand anything too hard from him.... but her body language made him wonder.
The second task Tai had put on him, was to figure out how to silence an investigator Thrall had sent to Brackenwall Village. This particular Orc, who went by the name of Krog, was looking into the burning of the Inn near the borderlands. This little task was proving to be quite difficult. Apparently, the Ogres who guarded the village were quite adept at noticing the little tell tale signs that someone was sneaking about. That was to be expected, give that they were surrounded by a contingent of Night Elves who snuck around their village daily. This skill of thiers meant that Litto had no chance of sneaking into the village to case the mark. That meant he had to come up with another approach. Litto racked his brain.
"Well" he thought, "If you cant sneak in, then maybe you had best just walk in." But how could he walk past the Ogre guards without drawing their very unwanted attention. Be brazen. Be confident. Be something other than a Male Human Rogue. It was then that his mind slipped to his recent lost bet. He had foolishly bet a family member that he could get to Theramore faster than she could. She proved to be much craftier, and he had lost by a long shot. The wager had been designed to embarase the loser. Perhaps he could use the concept though to achieve his curent task. He would need help, lots of it. Best place to start he thought.... Talula
==Chapter Two==
By Litto
Talula responded to his call to her over the comms system almost immediately. "Yes Mr. Litto, What can I do for you?"
"Talula" he said as he ran through the details of his plan in his mind again and again "I need your help, and the help of a few of the Horde Family members."
"Sure thing" she replied "what do you need me to do."
"I need you to ask Krelle and Korttie and any other Female Horde family members you can think of if they would be willing to help me with a plan I am hatching. I will need you of course to translate. If you could see if they are willing to help me, and set up a meeting with them, I would greatly appreciate it."
"I'm on it" she replied. "Talula out."
Litto held his breath for a moment as he thought about what the outcome of this plan could be. He would either make a name for himself as a clever and resourceful family member, or he would go down as the most entertaining fool they had ever seen. Either way, he was moving forward, and that was what mattered.
==Chapter Three==
By Krelle
Krelle was immediately intrigued when Talula approached her with the request.
"What does he need a bunch of girls for?" she asked in gnomish.
"I'm not sure what he's planning - but I must admit that I'm curious too," her roomate replied.
"Heh. I thought he was supposed to be doing me a favour," she joked, then held up a hand to forestall Lu's objections. "I'm only kiddning - besides I'm dyin' ta know what he's up to. Anyway I can ask him for my little favour after we're done chatting and you can translate, eh?" A sudden thought occured to her. "Hey - does Litto speak gnomish?"
==Chapter Four==
By Litto
Litto sat and sketched out his plan in his mind one more time. He made a short list of items he would need and the people he would have to contact.
1) Meet with as many Horde family members as Talula can get interested. Pitch the plan to them and hope they dont bust their guts laughing.
2) Gather two large apples, 10 yards of silk, a gallon of green dye or paint. some black or white horse tail hair, two or three Stranglethorn dates, a pair of boar tusks, some small bells and finger symbols.
3) Contact the Gnome the SI7 has stationed outside the Library in Stormwind and call in some favors.
4) See if Talula can produce an adhesive that will stick firmly to organic material once it comes into contact with saliva... preferably honny flavored.
5) Pray Tai and the rest of the Family will let him live this all down.
==Chapter Five==
By Talula
"Dunno. I mean, he worked for a gnome so maybe he picked up a thing or two, but he is having me install a translator into his comm unit. My read was that he didn't pick up new languages all that quick. At least that makes two of us!"
Talula grinned as Krelle rolled her eyes in mock disgust. "Let's hope if he does need to speak the Cant without a translator, he'll do it better than you."
"Hey! I leek it just farm!" Talula answered back in her best Cant.
Krelle pinched the bridge of her nose and said "Uh... yeah. Let's just go find Litto and see what we can do to help."
==Chapter Six==
By Krelle
"We can call Viridia. Oh, and Sannia'll proably be willing ta help," Krelle said as they moved along the creaking wooden walkways of the Bay. "She's a big softy like that."
Talula gave her a little grin. "That makes you a big softy too, doesn't it? You jumped on board without even knowing the scheme."
"Hey," Krelle protested. "This is just professional curiosity! I wanna see how he operates before I call in any favours, that's all."
The gnome snorted in amusement as they detoured around a tipped-over fish cart and two screaming goblins. "Sure you are."
"Don't doubt me, gnome! I am sneaky and evil!"
Talula laughed helplessly.
Krelle grinned at her friend, then bent over to steal a fish from the cart's wreckage as they passed. "See?" she said, waving the dead fish at the gnome. "Sneaky."
"What about the evil part?"
"Oh, that's easily explained..."
Talula gave her a warning look. "If that fish touches me, Krelle, you'll find snails in your bed."
Krelle hesitated. "Fine," she said, changing her plans. "Then I'll eat it myself, and not share any."
Talula grinned. "How evil."
Krelle smiled. It was nice to relax and let her guard down once in a while.
She spoke at length of how delicious the fish was going to be, gutting the thing as she walked and dropping the extra bits over the side of the catwalk into the bay below.
==Chapter Seven==
By Litto
Litto activated the comms device.
"Talula...."
A few moments later a crackle and "Yes Mr. Litto?"
"Talula I am thinking that the best time to pitch my idea to the Tong leadership and the female horde family members is sunday night at the meeting. With your help, I think I can have everything I need ready by then."
another crackle "Ok Mr. Litto, I will pass it on, and see what I can do about that adhesive you requested."
"Thank you Talula, you have been an amazing help. I never got to know my little sister... but I hope she turns out to be a lot like you."
==Chapter Eight==
By Litto
Tyrion pointed to the box on the ground next to him.
"There you go Litto, just like you wanted. Took all the materials you provided and a bit more, but then you are a good friend, so I will consider us even."
Litto smiled at Tyrion. He knew that Tyrion and he were never on equal ground. That was Tyrion's way of letting him know that the marker had now shifted and Litto owed him one. "Thank you Tyrion, if you need me in the future, you know how to reach me."
Litto picked up the box and started to walk out of Tyrion's workshop. Tyrion apprently wasn't done yet. "So, I have to admit, I knew you would call in your marker eventually, but I never figured it would be for something like this. Not exactly what I took you for, if you know what I mean.... " Tyrion let the insinuation slide gently off his tongue. Litto stopped, turned and look Tyrion directly in the eyes.
"Tyrion, my friend. You and I have always gotten along because neither of us worries too much about what the other is up to. Now all of a sudden, you want to change all that. Perhaps, you might want to reconsider..." Litto let the threat gently slide off his tongue, but his eyes spoke certain death to the Gnome. Tyrion paused, then smiled and said "Of course, how silly of me. No more shall be said about it my friend... ever."
Litto smiled at Tyrion, then continued out the door. Today Tyrion had crossed a boundry. Litto would keep a closer eye on him. Perhaps one day Tyrion's loved ones would come visit him in his sleep.
==Chapter Nine==
By Litto
Litto's last task, before the family meeting this evening, was to check with Talula. She was making his special order adhessive, and he wanted to go over the plan with her one more time, just to make sure there were no show stoppers. Litto appreciated Talula's analitical mind and no nonsense responses. He knew she would tell him he was an idiot if she thought he was.
Litto knocked on the door to the lab, and waited. After a bit he knocked again. When no one responded, he tried the door and found it unlatched. Litto went in and looked around. Almost immediately he saw a package on one of the tables with with his name and a short note.
Dear Mr. Litto
Had to run out for a bit. Wasn't sure if I would be back by the time you came around, so I am leaving this here for you. I sure hope you find it, but if you dont, it will be right here for you when you need it.
Lu
Litto smiled to himself. He liked Lu, no doubt about it. Taking the package, he opened the top and looked in. A strong scent of honey wafted up to him. It was then he noticed the note under the bag.
P.S. Mr Litto, I dont recommend licking your fingers after using this adhesive.
==Chapter Ten==
By Litto
The presentation of the plan had gone as well as could be expected.
First Litto had covered the basic facts.
The Mark was located in Brackenwall Village. Because of the high level of Night Elf scout activity in the vacinity, the Ogre guards of Brackenwall were very adept at spoting the signs of a rogue stealthing. Any plan that involved sneaking in had a very slim chance of succeeding. The best chance of getting in was to walk through the gates (aka hiding in the open). Unfortunately, as a human male, the chance of hiding in the open had a very slim chance of succeeding as well, unless.... Unless Litto didnt look like a Human Male. Hense the plan.
Litto proposed to his Horde and Alliance Tong Family members, that the Horde members form a traveling troup of entertainers that would travel to Brackenwall and distract the locals while Litto took out the Mark. Tai pointed out that while the Horde Tong members could walk through the gates, the chances of Litto doing so, even with a distraction, was slim. Litto agreed, unless of course he didnt look like Litto. It was at this point in the explaination that Litto excused himself for a few moments and went upstairs to put on the costume Tyrion had made for him.
Instead of a Human Male walking down the stairs, the Family members were suprised when an Orc Female came down. They were even more suprised when the Orc Female spoke in Litto's Human Male voice. The costume was quite realistic. Litto of course knew it would be, after all, if Tyrion could disguise a harvester as a Human Female and fool everyone, he would have no problem with an orc costume. Still, despite the quality of the disguise, Both Tai and Krelle were skeptical.
It took a good half hour of discussing the details and answering all questions before the two of them were ready to even consider the plan. After a few of the Horde Family Members offered their assistance and advise, Tai, and then Krelle agreed to give it a try. Ben would give Litto some language lessons, Krelle and Korttie would help him find a dress. The Tong females would teach him the finer points of walking and acting like a woman without falling over on himself. Once everyone felt he was ready, he would put on the costume, and get his man.
If the snickers in the room as he walked out were any indication, succeed or fail, he would never be allowed to forget this.
==Chapter Eleven==
By Krelle
Krelle couldn't believe the overwrought plan that Litto was presenting. She kept wavering between wanting to laugh or just sigh and kaibosh the thing. And yet...
"On the plus side," she said into a momentary lull in the conversation. "This plan is so ridiculously complex that anyone who caught on would never believe we'd actually tried it."
"Not comlex," Litto protested in his broken Cant as Tai chuckled. "Simple. In. Kill. Out."
Krelle shook her head dubiously as Korttie brought up more questions about the details. Her crew seemed to find the entire thing endlessly amusing, like they were planning a party or something. But it would be so much simpler to just kill Krog! Fel, I could fly over and do it myself and be back in an hour.
But that of course, wasn't the point. The point was to see if Litto could do it. She looked about her. The members of the alliance seemed amused, but they weren't the ones being asked to run this crazy plan. Korttie seemed down with the idea. Benjamin thought it was hilarious, he was egging Litto on.
Fine, she thought. Just.... fine.
"Allright - we'll try it," she agreed. Then, perhaps just a bit maliciously, she started assigning people their roles. Ben, as a reward for his enthusiasm, was to be the troupe's nominal leader. She told him to get a suit anda fancy hat. He shut up after that. Korttie was to dance. Sannia would sing - she had a lovely voice. Ariyana would also dance. She'd drag Roh'rik along to be the troupe's bodyguard, just for credibility.
"What're you gonna be doing then, Krelle?"
Krelle snorted. Certainly not dancing - like an orc would want to watch a skinny girl like her anyway. "Reims and I will wander into town the day before and lay low. We can keep an eye on the operation that way, and lend a hand if anyone gets into a sticky situation. Oh, and I can narrate the whole tihng over the com for the endless amusement of our more sensible members who will be staying home."
The humans grinned. Reims sighed, obviously relieved, and she tossed him a grin. That's his reward for not getting all excited about this silly plan, she thought to herself.
They talked it over a bit longer, working out the last few details. Krelle just shook her head, bemused.
One thing was for sure. Krog would be one of the most talk-about hits this decade.
==Chapter Twelve==
By Litto
Litto began to mentally and physically prepare himself for his mission.
First things first he thought. There was no way he was going to be able to prepare himself properly without help from the Horde Family Members, and there was no way he was going to get that help if he didn't learn the Cant properly. He knew he had butchered it during the meeting. Given the short period of time he had to learn it, it was to be expected. Still, he had been hoping Talula would have time to teach him more. He had stopped by her lab again, but once again she was out.
Talula had struck him as someone who did her best to live up to her promises. She had promised to help him, and he was sure she meant it, yet she was no where to be found. He mussed over that for a bit, then decided to use the manuals she had provided him to teach himself till he could get together with Ben. "Mumba, can I dog face over to the banana patch." He practiced the phrase over and over again, and hoped he was putting the proper inflection on it. Ben would help straighten him out he was sure.
Once he had the cant down, he would have to enlist the help of a female or two to pick a seductive outfit for Littoni and teach him how to walk and talk like a sexy orc. There was a lot of work to be done, and Litto wanted to get it done so he could put this mission behind him. The sooner the better, he thought.
Now about Talula.....
==Chapter Thirteen==
By Litto
Litto tried for the third time to get the phrase right...
"Oi don't ave an Occent!"
Ben shook his head "hov... hov... "
Litto tried once again...
"Oi don't hov an Occent!"
Ben smiled and gave Litto a thumbs up... "Roite"
Litto smiled back... he was finally getting the hang of this. Soon he could begin phase 2, getting outfitted and learning the finer points of being an Orcish lady. 
==Chapter Fourteen==
By Korttie
Korrtie Sighed as she looked at herself in the Mirrior. No matter how many veils she put around her she still felt Naked. It was easier for her to intimadate the males or just rough house, but here she had to act all sweet and cute. SHe was really not sure she knew how to do this. With a groan she turned and looked at the unblinking eyes of Vespa, "Joo tink dis is funny hes?" With a roll of her eyes she turns again to the mirror and decides to put yet another layer of silks around her.
==Chapter Fifteen==
By Krelle
Krelle found some lame excuse and left. It was just too painful. She knew it was weak of her, but she just couldn't take it anymore. She just couldn't keep watching the "girl" lessons that Korttie was giving Litto.
She hurried out of the door of the Booty Bay office so fast that she bumped right in to Roh'rik.
"Ouf!"
"LT? Sorry 'bout that -"
"Don't go in there Roh'rik," she warned him urgently, speaking in a low voice. "You really don't want to go in there!"
The orc warily gazed at the closed office door. "Why not?" he said, also speaking quietly.
"There's a crazy troll in there giving a guy lessons on how to be a girl. It's... mind-bending."
Roh'rik paused, obviously a bit non-plussed. "Lessons."
Krelle nodded urgently. She knew she was being a ham, but Roh'rik took everything so seriously, it was hard not to tease him sometimes. "There are dark arts going on," she continued dramatically. "Makeup. Dancing. Walking. Kissing."
Roh'rik sighed and turned towards the inn instead. "Guess I'll drop this off another time, then," he said as she fell into step beside him. "I get enough of that stuff with the Vaynes, I don't need to go looking for - LT?" He stopped as he realized he'd taken the last few steps alone.
Krelle had stopped in her tracks, tapping her chin thoughtfully.
"LT?"
"It's ridiculous," she said to herself quietly. "Bordering on foolish. But so extravagant that it fits perfectly with the rest of this nonsense."
"LT?"
She looked up at him. "Roh'rik," she said gravely. "We're going to invite the Vaynes to Booty Bay."
He gaped at her. "Why?" he finally managed.
She just tapped her nose.
==Chapter Sixteen==
By Rohrik
Roh'rik eyed the young Forsaken and had no idea what she had in mind for Kyaa and Aryy Vayne. Individually, each twin was a handful to deal with. Together. The older orc gave a slight shake of his head, knowing this wasn't going to go smoothly. But LT was the brass and whatever she was thinking, it was above his pay grade. He cleared his throat, seeing Krelle was busy thinking.
"You want me to hitch a wyv up north and invite them personally, LT?" Roh'rik wondered to himself if the Vaynes would accept - and if they did - just how much luggage they'd pack for a trip like that ...
==Chapter Seventeen==
By Krelle
"No, it's perfect," Krelle insisted over a mug of juice. She and Roh'rik were sitting at the Tong's favourite back-corner table at the inn. She traced her finger idly around a carved heart with Ollie's name and a large gouge in it as she spoke.
"Those two twitters of yours have been bugging me - and Tellas - for the past fortnight. They want to have a 'theme' party, see. At first they wanted it to be an 'Orgrimmar' party, then an 'Undercity' party." Krelle shook her head, still incredulous that any elf would want an city-style party. The amusements of those who's senses had been dulled by death tended to be... a bit much. The mental image of an elf at one of the Forsaken's blood-raves was strange enough. Them throwing a party around the theme...
"Anyway, I managed to convince them those were crappy ideas, but now they've got their hearts set on a 'Pirate' party."
"Pirates?" Roh'rik asked incredulously. He apparently hadn't heard yet.
"Have you ever heard of something so ridiculous? It takes some truly naive people to think there's anything fun about pirates... anyway. They've been hinting rather broadly that they wanted to see the Bay, to make the 'atmosphere more authentic'."
Roh'rik frowned, imagining the Vayne sisters in Booty Bay. He looked around the dimly lit, smokey interior of the inn. "Really," was all he said.
"This is great. I'll invite them down then fob them off on Litto. He owes me two favours - the Vayne sisters can be both of them," she said smugly. She or Tellas could have shown the two around the Bay, but both had been putting the twins off, trying to avoid the duty. It was truly amazing how annoying two people could be. This way she could let Litto show them around - he could practise his orcish, and anyway the elves would be tickled to have "a real human" as a tour guide.
"If he's slick enough, he can mention a friend of his who's trying to be more ladylike - I'm sure they'd be thrilled to give lady-lessons or whatever. But the beauty of this plan, the true genius of it," she said, waving her tankard at Roh'rik for emphasis, "is that I don't have to show them around."
==Chapter Eighteen==
By Litto
Litto was exhausted
Who knew being an attractive and seductive Orcish lady could be this hard. His back hurt, his feet hurt, his pride hurt. Korttie had been doing her best, he knew. She made him walk, talk, dance, wiggle, bat his eyes, swing his hips blow kisses and any number of other things he was too embarased to even think about over and over again.
After each hour long session she would look over at Vespa and ask her snake what she thought. Each time the snake would hiss loudly, and she would inform him he was still not doing it quite right. If it werent for the fact that she seemed as tired of this as he did, he would think she was enjoying torturing him.
At least his Orcish was improving.
As he stepped out onto the pier for a breath of fresh air and a break from the torture, Litto saw Krelle walking up. "Litto" she said with a tone to her voice that made him take immediate notice "looks like its time for me to cash in my favors.... " Thinking on Talula's warning about not wanting to owe Krelle favors, Litto winced.
==Chapter Ninteen==
By Krelle
The small forsaken couldn't help but chuckle at the look on his face. "Aw, it's nothing major, Litto," she said reassuringly. "Just that something's come up that I can't attend to. You're lucking out, really." She said this ruefully, like she was almost dissapointed that she couldn't find something harder for him to do. Litto seemed to relax slightly, though his eyes were still wary.
"Two of my best clients are coming in to town," she continued, "and I won't be available to show them around. The Vaynes - they're twin sisters - have never really left Silvermoon much, and want to get a little tour of the 'Bay, see? They're very curious about the city, but kinda sheltered. I need someone trustworthy ta keep an eye on them, make sure they have a good time, you know?" It was easy to have a good time in the Bay - but much easier to be part of someone else's idea of a good time. Litto was streetwise enough to keep them safe here, though.
"They ought to be here tomorrow sometime. We've already made arrangements for them at the Smiling Shark, and I doubt they'll stay more than a few days." The 'Shark was the cleanest inn in town. It was owned by a dwarvish widow who put up with absolutely no nonsense. It was pretty much the only inn not crawling with sailors on leave - or with bedbugs.
"So whatd'ya say, Litto?" she asked seriously, looking up at the human. "Can you do this for me?"
==Chapter Twenty==
By Litto
The alarm bells were going off loudly in Litto's mind.
Krelle, the feared and respected mistress of operations on the Horde side (at least if the deference of the very capable horde members he had met so far was to be taken into account) was asking him to do something minor for her, that would cover the favors he owed her. Krelle, who Talula would not want to owe a favor to, was willing to give up two markers for this seemingly easy task. That could mean only one thing. The task wasn't easy, and Krelle wasn't doing him any favors.
Litto smiled his most nonchalant smile and replied "Of course Miss Krelle, I would be more than happy to do this minor task for you.... " The wry smile Krelle gave him in response was more than enough to convince him he was right. Litto decided to do a bit of research on his own about the Vayne Sisters. Any little bit of information he found out could be the difference between life or death in this hazardous situation, and he had no doubt he had just been pushed under an ox cart.
"Well, at least it will be a welcome break from Lady Lessons...." he hoped he didnt end up eating those words.
==Chapter Twenty-one==
By Krelle
"Great," she said. "They'll be here tomorrow. Roh'rik is over at the Shark getting things ready - why don't you go say hi, since he's their bodyguard? I imagine you two might be working together this week," she said with a strange little grin. "If you'll excuse me, though, I have urgent business in the Undericty."
And with that she gave him a little bow and turned away, headed off towards the flight master with a suspicious bounce in her step.
==Chapter Twenty-two==
By Kyaa
Not just one, but three flights landed in Booty Bay just prior to the twins, carrying twelve brand new designer trunks. Aryy and Kyaa had freshened up their makeup and hit the docks ready for anything.
Aryy landed first and smoothed her wrinklefree traveling suit, then walked over to the edge of the platform to peer out over the bay. As Kyaa landed, Aryy searched the nearly empty docks for sign of Roh, who was supposed to meet them here. Her brows flitted like whiskers in slight irritation at not seeing him waiting for them.
"Ky Ky," Aryy nodded to the flight master so Kyaa would remember to tip him. "Didn't our dahlin' Roh say he'd be here ta meet us?"
Kyaa dug into her purse and pulled out two silver, holding her hand in front of her for the flight master. He looked from one twin to the other just staring, mutely. Kyaa sighed while she waited for him to quit his ogling, then finally took his hand in her own and plopped the coins into it with a charming smile. He stood there looking at the coins with a puzzled expression until she shifted her attention to her sister.
"Ah know Ah told him when ta expect us." Kyaa went to join her sister overlooking the bay and city below. She looked around with excitement for all the foreign sights surrounding them, just waiting to be explored. Kyaa took in a deep breath and then immediately started a coughing fit.
"WhatEVAH.... is that...... putrid smell?"
Aryy wrinkled her prim little nose and suggested, "Fish, dahlin'. I do believe that's some kinda fishy smell." She then gracefully sat atop one of their trunks in the shade and pulled out a mirror to reapply the lipstick she had just refreshed no more than 10 minutes ago.
Kyaa finally managed to catch her breath and came to sit next to her sister. "Ah jus' hope we can go to our room soon. Ah am rahvenously famishified." Kyaa pulled a small fan out of her purse and began to fan herself while they waited, crossing her ankles so as not to encourage vein trouble.
==Chapter Twenty-three==
By Rohrik
Roh'rik was in a bad mood. He was new to Booty Bay, and the city was not only big - it was built on sticks stuck in the mud of a bay and climbed a dizzying number of feet above the water. It was, to put it plainly, confusing - and he was lost.
He was also not getting much help from the security force. As he'd found during the war, goblins were not inclined to give out anything, including directions, for free. Maybe it was also just the nature of a port town, where everyone (or at least anyone with any sense) had to presume that everyone else was there to rip you off.
Still, he knew the Vayne sisters were coming in, and the clock was ticking. He tried another goblin, wearing the markings of the city's security team, "Hey bud, can you tell me where I can find the flight deck ... or should I just go screw myself?" Roh'rik figured maybe humor would help. It didn't. The goblin snarled, "Keep moving old timer. Nothing to see here."
Roh'rik felt the urge to punch him in the face. the insult stinging because it was true, but ... He guessed he could take the guard, but didn't figure being chased out of town (if he made it that far) would sit well with the Vaynes or Krelle.
Roh'rik sighed heavily and turned, almost bumping into a human. Roh'rik scowled and felt for his coin purse - and found it still there. The human man, dark haired with clever eyes, paused and then, to Roh'rik's surprise said in broken Orcish, "Tu Roh'rik?" Roh'rik's right eyebrow went up, surprised but wary. The human saw this and said, "Sent Krelle. Litto I." The human pointed to himself. Two names, Roh'rik thought, but still ...
Then Litto, looking both ways first, discretely made the sign of the Tiger with his left hand. Roh'rik wasn't a Tiger, but he'd been taught that much - and it had come in handy. Litto tried again, "Me you helpin'." With this Litto pointed up, as a wyvern arced in for a landing.
Roh'rik grunted, realizing he should have thought of that. He smiled, his teeth showing, at Litto and kept it simple, "Let's go." Litto nodded and Roh'rik saw a note of caution in his eyes as he did this. He was no fool. Litto led but glanced back more than once.
As they got to the top of the stairs, Roh'rik heard an orc muttering curses about the weight of bags, and figured the Vaynes had arrived ...
==Chapter Twenty-four==
By Litto
Litto followed Roh'rik up the stairs to the wyvern rider. He usually avoided this part of the inn, as the Wyvern master always scowled at him, and his mounts sensing his displeasure would growl menicingly. This time was a bit different. The Wyvern Master was obviously confused and flustered by the two lovely Blood Elf sisters standing in front of him.
The ladies knew Roh'rik, there was no doubt about that. There was also no doubt they were unhappy with him. Litto's Orcish was spotty enough that he could barely follow their questions and Roh'rik's attempts to answer them. Apparently wanting to shift the attention away from himself, Roh'rik pointed to Litto and announced "Ladies, this is Litto. He is the Grey Shipping Company representative who has been assigned to escort you while in Booty Bay, and to act as your guide as well."
Litto caught enough of that to know it was his cue. In broken Orcish he did his best to introduce himself. "Morning Ladies, Welcome to Booty Bun. As Roh'rik said, I am your tomato and guide. feel free to whistle me any monkeys you want."
Giving the Blood Elf sisters his best smile, Litto awaited their response...
==Chapter Twenty-five==
By Kyaa
Kyaa heard the human falter into an uneasy orcish rendition of something she had never quite heard before. Her mind got stuck at the first error and began repeating "Booty Bun" over and over slowly as if doing so might trigger one of her few brain cells into making sense. Caught up in this endeavor, Kyaa did not even realize she had begun questioning herself aloud, "Booty Bun.... Bun..... Bun of the Booty? Now where have Ah heard that before?"
Aryy had been checking her smudged eyeliner in the mirror she had not managed to put away yet, pursed her colorful lips together then released them in a silent MWA to herself, admiring their perfection. She vaguely heard what Litto was saying, and stopped, mouth parted, to just stare at him. She blinked, watching his eager smile. Then when Kyaa started speaking softly, Aryy's gaze shifted to her twin. Disgust and impatience bloomed when Aryy addressed Roh'rik.
"Rorry, dahlin'... did I distinctly hear you say, THIS is our guide to - " At this pause, Aryy cleared her throat and let the sarcasm fall thick with her catlike purring drawl. " - the invenerate Booty Bun?" She had meant to convey a word meaning renowned, drawing a parallel to the twins' booties, which were, in her mind, watched incessantly.
The attempted joke, however, skipped right past everyone's comprehension but Kyaa's, apparently - who stopped her own puzzling and turned to look at her sister with surprise. One second later both twins burst into simlutaneous irritating laughter in stereo. Roh'rik, not wanting to appear disrespectful or disloyal, nodded, while Litto winced.
"Oh Ry, that was good! You crack me up so much, girl!" Kyaa looked around to see if her mock comprehension was believable.
Aryy cleared her throat then, sensing they were somehow off topic and decided to take charge of the most pressing needs.
"Perhaps our Tomahto can take us to our accomodations and tell us where the nearest nail salon is? I seem to have developed a hang nail in travel. Mineral water, Rorry?" Arry held out her hand expectantly.
==Chapter Twenty-six==
By Litto
Litto smiled. His Orcish was more than adequate, as the women obviously understood him.
Pointing towards the stairs going down he said "This way ladies. Your Squallor at the inn is prepared, and your bags will be Misshandled there immediately. I know of a nice Flophouse to take care of your hung Flop. I am quite sure you will have a Rancid time here with me as your Tomato."
With that, Litto led the way down the stairs, glancing over his shoulder to ensure the sisters were following him.
==Chapter Twenty-seven==
By Kyaa
Both Kyaa and Aryy jumped up, relieved to see they were moving forward to something other than the growing humidity. Roh'rik was left searching for mineral water of some kind, as the two teetered off after Litto.
"Ta ta, RoRo! See yah soon! Kiss kiss!!"
"Dahlin' Rorry, be a love and bring the trunks for us!"
One twin whispered to the other, "Wherevah did he say we were goin'??"
The other hissed back, "As if Ah would know, like... really!"
They giggled together as the clatter of their heels on the docks echoed further and further away. Roh'rik glanced after them then stood there looking at all twelve trunks, scratching his head with a frown.
==Chapter Twenty-eight==
By Litto
The trip to the room had been fairly uneventful, though Litto had to stare down a troll who thought the sisters were local entertainment and tried to buy them for the night. The Troll finally got the message and moved on, the sisters thought the whole thing was quite entertaining, and giggled the whole way to the inn.
There was a bit of trouble at the inn, as the Dwarvish lady who owned the place also thought the sisters were street walkers, and initially refused to have them in her establishment. Litto explained patiently that they were distinguished visitors from Silvermoon, and would be no trouble. After a bit of convincing, which included him comenting on how lovely her hair was, the Lady Inkeeper agreed to unlock their room.
The sisters were less than pleased at the accomidations. The room was too small, too plain, too dirty, and there were not enough mirrors on the walls. Litto explained, as best as his broken Orkish would allow, that this was the best room in Booty Bun, and paid the Dwarf to bring in a couple more mirrors. He then arranged for the sisters to have their Flops manicured at the local Flophouse, which put the women in a better mood. All in all, the first evening had gone fairly well. Litto arranged a guard shift with Roh'rik, so one of them would always be outside the sisters door, then retired to rest before his shift began.
==Chapter Twenty-nine==
By Litto
The time with the twins had been quite trying. Nothing was ever good enough for them. The room was too small. The food was too spicy. The pub was too crouded and noisy. The room service was too slow (room service, as the Dwarvish matron had informed them, was not an option. The room service the twins were complaining about was actually Roh'rik and Litto doing their best to meet the twins many and often quite complicated demands). The air stunk of fish.
When Litto had asked the twins in his broken Orcish what he was supposed to do about the smell of fish in a port city, they replied "Thats your problem darling..." Litto had bought them both the strongest most expensive designer perfume he could find in Booty Bun, and told both of them how wonderful they smelled in it. They wore it so thickly, that the smell of fish never stood a chance.
Each day Litto thanked the gods that Roh'rik was his cell mate in this seemingly never ending whinning prison sentence he found himself in. Roh'rik, apparently quite used to the twins' eratic behavior, responded to most of their requests in a calm manner, maintaining his cool demenor. He seemed to know the right things to say to calm them down in the midst of their many hissy fits. He also knew one other thing Litto appreciated. Orcish....
Litto had slowly begun to understand that his grasp of Orcish was less than adequate. The twins' constant giggles every time he addressed them convinced him that he wasn't saying what he thought he was saying. When he finally asked Roh'rik for help, the Orc smiled at him, as if to say it was about time, and then began to patiently teach him the correct way to speak his native language. Eventually, the twins stopped giggling at most of his words, only breaking out in laughs when he said Booty Bun. He figured it was because of the word Booty. Roh'rik nodded when he asked him, and told him that was exactly the reason.
The sentence was nearing its end. The twins had been entertained (though based on their constant complaints, not to the level they had hoped for), they had been protected, and soon they would be returning to Silvermoon. With his Orcish greatly improved, Litto decided to see if he could do something about getting one of his Tong assignements advanced as well.
Like them or not, the Vaynes where the epitomy of style and fashion, and knew all the womanly tricks to get what they wanted. Who better to teach a clumsy Orcish lass how to capture the attention of men and bend them to her will. Litto decided it was time to introduce the twins to Littoni.
==Chapter Thirty==
By Krelle
Krelle looked up as Litto walked by the office door. She hopped off the desk and stepped quietly into the hallway behind him.
"Litto?"
He turned with a start. The little Forsaken was standing in the middle of the hallway, her face grave. "Ah - Hello, Miss Krelle."
She regarded him seriously, her normal teasing grin gone as she spoke to him in orcish. "You helped Rob and Phealea save Talula. She told me about it. Lu's a good friend of mine," she said simply. She gestured towards the bag Litto was carrying, holding part of his Littoni costume. "I'm still game for that hit, if you want to do it that way, but I thought I'd make this offer first. Say the word and Krog will be dead in an hour." She tucked her thumbs into her belt, her fingers curling around her dagger hilts suggestively.
==Chapter Thirty-one==
By Litto
Litto smiled back at Krelle "And owe you again" laughing out loud, Litto shook his head no. "No thank you Miss Krelle. This fun filled time with the Vayne sisters has been quite enough to teach me the folly of owing you. Besides, it would prove nothing to the Tong if I let you fulfill my asignment. I will do what it takes to take him down. Please excuse me now, I have to go learn all about being a seductive Orc."
With that Litto saluted Krelle smartly, and went to change into his costume. Just before exiting he stopped and turned to Krelle. "By the way, the way the family pulled together to find Lu and solve the other problems facing us is something I am not used to. I like it. Thank you for giving me the chance to be a part of it."
With that Litto exited the room and began the humiliating task of become a girl.
==Chapter Thirty-two==
By Krelle
Krelle mutely watched him go, nodding at his salute. She leaned against the doorframe thoughtfully after he left. I'll have to think of some way to thank those three.
She shrugged. Knowing the way their business ran, she had no doubts an opportunity would arise.
She slipped back into the office, closing the door behind her.
==Chapter Thirty-three==
By Litto
The instruction by the Vaynes had been... painful. It started with the look they gave each other when Littoni walked in. It was a "Oh my god... what is that horrible outfit you are wearing." It went down hill from there. Any illusions that Littoni might have had about being a seductive Orc were poked, teased and insulted out of her. She was too fat. Too big. Too hairy. Obviously had no sense of style. The twins sighed at each other, got that "we can do this" look on their faces, and set to work.
They taught Littoni about makeup. In her case they recommended using lots of it. They teased and styled her hair, till they gave up and informed her the wind blown look was in this year. They made her try on dozens of outfits, politely insulting the way she looked in each one by faintly praising her. They finally settled on one that hid most of her unatractive spots. She ignored the comment the one made to the other that perhaps a burlap bag pulled over her head and tied at the bottom would be best. They stopped giggling eventually and went on.
Next was "seductive movement." They taught her how to walk into a room and catch everyones eye. Then they taught her how to do it without tripping over her own feet. They taught her how to sit down in a lady like yet seductive manner. They decided to give up on lady like and just stick with seductive. Ok, maybe cheap and easy was a better approach for Littoni they informed her. Littoni took it all in, holding both her temper and her pride.
Finally they taught her how to talk seductively. The kinds of words to say to get a man interested. The kinds of words to say to slow a man down who was too interested. The right place to kick a man if he wasnt listening. In the end they advised her that the less she said the better. When they were all done, the led her over to the mirror and showed her the new Littoni. She was suprised. Very suprised. The Twins were obviously pleased at the miracle they had worked. They each gave her a patronizing smile and a kiss on the cheek, before they shuffled her out the door. She heard them break into uproarious laughter right after they closed it.
Roh'rik stood and stared at her. "What?" she said defensively. He stuttered for a moment, then said "You look nice.... really nice." It took a moment before she realized he meant it. Then she blushed, thanked him and left the inn.
As Littoni walked back into the Tong offices, Krelle stood at the door and stared at her. "Not a word Krelle" she said as she walked by "Not a single word." Krelle held her comments to herself as she watched Littoni walk by. In the room where her things were, Littoni picked up her sap and a fishing pole. As she walked out past Krelle she called back over her shoulder "I'm going fishing in Ratchet, I will be back soon."
==Chapter Thirty-four==
By Litto
The test in Ratchet had gone well. She had fished for several hours before the sun set, and not one of the passing Horde or Alliance had taken second notice of her. She knew that the mark would be headed to Desolace some time that evening, and she knew he always followed the same route through Booty Bun to Ratchet. When he showed up, she would be ready for him...
After finishing with the mark she rowed back to the pier in Ratchet. She carried the bag of personal effects the mark had carried on himself. She would mail those to him later, as a reminder that she was still keeping an eye on him. As she walked past the flight master, she had an idea. Thanks to the Vaynes, this was probably the best she was ever going to look. Krelle had commented on how complicated her plan was, and perhaps she was right. Maybe it was time to simplify it.
She walked up to the Goblin Flight Master and asked for passage to Brackenwall Village in her most seductive voice. She batted her eyes at him for added effect. The Goblin leared at her in a way that made it obvious he found her attractive. He even pinched her as she got on the Wyvern. She smiled at him and shouted "Later big boy" as the Wyvern jumped into the air.
The flight was fairly short, and the next test came when she landed. The Flight Master helped her down, and one of the Ogre guards rumbled past and gave her the eye. She smiled at him and waved, and he walked on. "Well so far so good" she thought to herself. She headed off toward the main area of the village. Before long she spotted Krog talking to one of the Ogre guards. She sauntered up to him and smiled at him. "Krog, I believe?"
Krog stopped talking to the Ogre and looked at her. "Yes" he said "can I help you little lady." "Perhaps" she said "I may have some information you would be interested in. If we could talk privately...." she said, glancing toward the tent Krog had been living in while in Brackenwall. "Certainly" Krog said with a smile, and led the way to his tent. Once they were both inside, he lit a lamp, dropped the flap of the tent down, and pointed to one of two chairs... "sit."
She sauntered over to the chair, and sat down in her best "Im easy" pose that the Vaynes had taught her. He sat down in the chair next to hers, and asked "so whats a pretty orc like you doing out here in the swamp?" "I heard" she said flashing him a big smile "that the strong and brave Krog was here on a mission from Thrall himself. I wanted to come meet such an orc, and offer what assistance I could." "Oh" Krog said leaning forward "and what is it you could do for me?"
Littoni smiled back at him. "Well" she said, leaning closer to him so he could smell her perfume "I cook and clean and do all sorts of other domestic chores. I also am handy with a knife and have killed when necessary. I am observant and smart, and would be able to help you in many" then she smiled broader as if for emphasis "many ways." Krog leaned back and smiled, clearly getting her message.
"You cook!" he said with great enthusiasm "wonderful, I am so sick of the slop the Ogres call food around here. I would give my left arm for a decently cooked meal." Littoni tried to not show both her dissappointment and pleasure that he had not gotten what she was hinting at. "Yes" she said, I am a very accomplished cook. As a matter of fact, I have a sample of one of my best dishes on me right now, Honeyed Dates." She reached into her pouch and pulled out a smaller pouch. From inside it she pulled a date.
"These are best if the taste is taken in all at once, open your mouth, lean back your head and I will pop one in for you. You won't believe how good they are!" Krog's mouth was salivating as he opened it and leaned back his head. Littoni leaned forward and dropped the adhesive covered date into the back of his mouth, stepping on his foot at the same time. Krog yelped and involuntarily swallowed the date. Only it didn't go all the way down. Instead, the adhesive reacted with his saliva and glued the date firmly into the center of his throat.
Krog's eyes got bigger and bigger as he first tried to swallow, then spit up the date. Littoni ran to the tent flap and threw it wide open, screaming to anyone near enough to hear "Thrall save us, Krog is choking! Someone please help me!" By the time the first Orc and Ogre made it to the tent, it was almost over. Krog lay on the ground, grasping his throat, his eyes bulging as far out of his head as they could be without falling out. He looked pittiful as he shuddered his last and expired. The would be rescuers tried to help him, but eventually gave up. The distraught Littoni cried and wailed "My poor Krog... cant you help him... please please help him...."
When it was all over, the guards helped the still crying Orcish girl to the Flight Master, who let her ride back to Ratchet for free. The Ogres had promised her that they would burn his body on a funeral pire that evening, as it seemed very important to her that he be sent on properly. She thanked them for their help, and held on tight as the Wyvern lifted off. No one noticed the huge grin that filled her face once she was airborne. They also didnt notice the package of notes she had taken from Krog's table relating to the investigation he was conducting.
==Chapter Thirty-five==
By Litto
The packet of investigation notes Krog had collected prior to his death were in an evelope on Krelle's desk in Booty Bay. Scrawled on top of the envelope was a short note.
"The leak in Brackenwall has been plugged. The water level in the marsh is returning to normal."
Litto
==Chapter Thirty-six==
By Krelle
A note is left tacked to the board, folded in half with "Litto" written on it. Inside it says:
Good job. But now I owe you one.
Krelle
The documents, read and translated into the scrawl of the cant with the occasional comment added, was left on Tai's desk with another note across the top.
Tai,
Looks like you got the better of the gnome with this deal. Can we keep him?
K
==Chapter Thirty-seven==
By Litto
*An envelop with a letter inside sits on Tai Jiang's desk. There is a short note scrawled on the envelop in Litto's distinctive hand*
Boss, got this today from the Gnome. Felt you should see it.
Opening the letter Tai reads
To: Litto
My friend.
I address you as friend, since I can no longer consider you an employee, and was quite fond of you while you worked for me. I fully understand what you are saying to me. I knew, given your personality, and the nature of the Tong, that they would demand, and you would give, full loyalty to them. I felt, that having someone I could trust keeping an eye on my investments was more important than keeping you as my sole agent. In a way, I viewed you like my capital, as an investment in my future profits. I still do.
Mr. Jiang and his Tigers have provided me with a good bit of profit. From your reports I see that I can expect much more in the future. I know Mr. Jiang is an honorable man who knows that bitting the hand that provides the capital is hardly good business. I do not anticipate any conflict of interest between myself and him. So, I do not anticipate any conflict of interest between myself and you. That is good, because as I said before, I have grown quite fond of you.
In the interests of honesty, since you were so honest and forthcoming in your letter to me, you should know this, though I am sure you already do. Should the Tong and I ever find ourselves at cross interests, I would not hesitate to use all the considerable funds at my disposal to bury them, and you along with them. Mr. Jiang knows I am not a Gnome to be triffled with, as do you, so I am sure neither of you will tread down that path lightly. It would sorrow me greatly to put an end to either of you, but I would not hesitate.
There, now that we have those sorts of thoughts out, we can once again return to congeniality. Congratulations on your acceptance into the Tigers. All my past experiences with them tell me they are an excellent organization and you should do very well with them. Please consider me a friend, and feel free to approach me as such should you ever find yourself in need. Give my best to Mr. Jiang, and feel free to inform him that I congratulate him on his acquisition of such a capable and loyal follower.
PCR III
Tai smiles to himself at the clear warning in the letter.
==Chapter Thirty-eight==
By Rohrik
Roh'rik stood inside the Vayne sisters' room. At this point in their stay, the room that they had rented was no longer recognizable. The plain wood and dirty windows were now covered with various expensive drapes, rugs, pillows and whatever else they could find in the local boutiques. Zamelda, of Zamelda's World Famous Emporium, had done quite well by the sisters Vayne. The smell of floral perfume was strong in the room. Roh'rik's nose wrinkled at the smell, but he knew neither of the sisters had fancied the scents of the sea.
Kyaa had asked him up to the room, and Aryy had been waiting, closing the door behind them as they came in. Roh'rik glanced between them. He'd seen this change come over them before. They could come across as brainless, but the orc knew better. What others didn't understand was that they were simply self-absorbed beyond a point that most people had encountered in their lifetime. That could make it seem like they weren't really paying attention.
It also meant that when it came to their interests, they could be very, very smart. Right now, looking between them, he got the sense he was going to be asked some questions about those very same interests.
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