Persona BLEACHED 3: Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Before the Fall
September 8, 2029
"Hmmhmmhmmhmmmm, hmmhmmhmmhmmmm~." Barbara hummed a tune to herself as she prepared to leave her room. She opened the door. "Hmmhmmhmm--hm?"
Outside, next to the door, Natalia sat in the fetal position, a somber look on her face.
"Hey, Nat. What's wrong?" Barbara asked.
"...again." Natalia mumbled.
"What's that mean?"
"Care went out with Kat again. That's how many times now since we've been here? She really is tired of me...I knew it..."
Barbara knelt down next to her. "Hon, I know that's not true. Care loves you, everyone knows that."
"So why's she ignoring me?! I'm supposed to be her best friend, right?! And Kat's supposed to be yours, right? Doesn't it bother you at all?"
"I won't lie, I'd like to know why those two have been so tight lately myself. But you've been busier lately with all of those commissions, yeah? Maybe Care's just giving you some space to work."
"Maybe...but..."
"Oh, honey...I know you're used to being joined at the hip, but these kinds of things happen. She's not the kind of girl to just abandon a friend, especially not you. Schedules and routines are tough. She still thinks the world of you, I'm sure of it." Barbara rubbed Natalia's shoulder. "Tell you what, if you really want some company today, how about you come along with me?"
"Really? I don't wanna bother you if you're busy..."
"I'm just running some errands out in Akihabara. I'm happy to bring you along. Call it a slice of southern hospitality~."
"Southern where?"
"Figure of speech, Nat. So you wanna come with?"
"You're just taking pity on me..."
"Come on, Nat, we're friends. I don't like seeing you so bummed out. It's fine if you don't want to. Guess I'll have to eat all those cupcakes from Sakuya's café by myself..."
"Ooooh...that's not fair. Okay, fine. Cakes are good as long as you're nowhere near the frosting."
"I'll look past that and just be happy to have you along. We're gonna turn that frown upside-down, okay?"
"Sure, if you say so..."
"(Wow. She's really upset about this. I can just tell. I hope she's not regressing. Even the Professor's worried about her. Either those antidepressants aren't working like they should, or...well, either way, I'm gonna try to help her through it. Hopefully I can keep her mind off of Care.)" Barbara thought.
---
"And here's dessert. Exactly how you like it." Sakuya placed a serving of cupcakes on the table outside the café.
"Thank you for the service, as always~." Barbara chimed.
Natalia wordlessly started going at the desserts. "Ah...I guess someone was starving." Sakuya commented.
"Less talk. More cake." Natalia replied.
As she remained focused on eating, Sakuya whispered in Barbara's ear. "Is she doing alright? Her behavior's been, well, odd. Even for her."
"She's working through a few things. Separation anxiety involving Care." Barbara replied.
"If she's having ill thoughts, are her antidepressants not--"
"I stopped taking my antidepressants." Natalia interrupted.
Barbara blinked. "You...you stopped. Why did you stop?"
"I don't need them anymore. It was fake happiness. They barely helped, anyway. Not much they can do about backstabbing."
"I could write a novel about how ridiculous every part of that was. You can't just stop taking your medication. And Carrie-san spending time with others isn't a betrayal." Sakuya dictated.
"Yeah, you'd know all about betrayal, wouldn't you?"
Sakuya looked surprised. "Nat. Come on, you have to know this isn't like you." Barbara replied.
"You want me to just put a smile on and pretend that everything's fine? Like the first real friend I had isn't giving me the cold shoulder? I'm not even angry. I expect it at this point."
"Nat...you're scaring me. You--" 
Natalia's eyes flared yellow. "Just stop talking."
"Ah..." 
The girls turned to look. Carrie was standing there with Kat. "I'm guessing this might be a bad time." Kat said.
"(...crap.)" Barbara thought.
"Natalia...what's happened to you?" Carrie asked.
Tears began to fall from Natalia's face. "Why don't you want to be my friend anymore?"
"How could you say that? I know we haven't spent as much time together as we used to, but I wanted to give you space to work. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be your friend."
"Then why spend so much time with her? How else do I take that?"
"Hoodsie..." Kat uttered.
"Today I was helping Kitten pick out a new laptop. Sensei has the newest models and he was offering a discount. I wanted to ask you to come along, but I didn't want to wake you." Carrie grabbed Natalia's hand. "I'm sorry if I haven't been attentive. I never imagined it would hurt you as badly as it clearly has."
"...what's wrong with me?" Natalia sorrowfully questioned.
"Nothing is wrong with you. Please believe me when I say that. You're just hurting. All you need is help. That's what we're here for."
Utterly dejected, Natalia put her head down on the table. Carrie rubbed her back. "I love you. We're going to fix this, I promise you." she assured.
---
"Okay. That should be enough."
The Kubo house. Natalia lay asleep on the couch, as Rose held her hand over her, which gave off a blue glow. Carrie sat next to her friend. Barbara and Kat were also present.
"Is she going to be alright?" asked a worried Carrie.
"Time will tell. I've calmed Rin's and others' nerves with my power many times over. But I rarely encounter a ball of nerves so tightly wound. I had no choice but to put her to sleep." Rose replied.
"Kitty Kat?" Shizuka tugged on Kat's pantlegs. "Are we gonna play today?"
"I can't today, princess, I'm sorry. Nat isn't feeling too good, and we're all worried." Kat replied.
"Why is this happening? She was doing so good...now it's like she's even worse than before. It can't just be the medication, can it?" Barbara asked.
"It certainly isn't helping matters. Outside stresses combined with lifelong trauma, plus the lack of medication, plus a poor self-image, plus a heightened sense of paranoia, all mixed together in one teenaged mind." Rose replied.
"Ugh, I feel sick. Did I do this? I took the first real friend she had away from her, and now she can't process it. I'm literally the worst." Kat uttered.
"You didn't take me away, Kitten. I wanted to give her space to work, and instead I've driven her even further away." Carrie retorted. She gently caressed Natalia's face. "I should know better by now just how sensitive she is. How could I be such a fool?"
"This goes deeper than any one of you. These feelings have been simmering in her mind for years. Her parents told us as much. Depression is not so easily dealt with. You can't just scream at someone to stop being sad. It takes years of care to manage it." Rose said.
"Good days and bad days. There has to be some other way we can help her. I'm scared of what could happen to her." Barbara said.
"Right now, all you should do is be as gentle and accommodating with her as possible. Let her know how loved she is. I want you to bring her back here tomorrow so we can get deeper into the issues haunting her mind. Today, just let her rest. Give her mind some time to heal."
"I'll carry her home." Carrie said.
"No way. Let me do it. I caused this mess." Kat replied.
"Absolutely not. It's my doing, and mine alone. Let me shoulder the burden."
"No, Care. Not with your backside still hurting. I'll do it. I'm stronger than I look."
Kat hoisted the unconscious Natalia onto her back. "I know she loves her hugs, but this isn't one I'd like to give." Kat uttered.
"Thanks as always, Dr. Rose. I hope there's better news tomorrow." Barbara said.
"As do I. I've seen firsthand what this sort of condition can do to a person. Hopefully this is a manageable case." Rose replied.
Carrie somberly massaged Natalia's back. "Everything will be okay, Natalia. We didn't traverse the depths of Hell to allow you to be swallowed by demons..."
---
"What a sad little fatty."
"She makes her friends disappear faster than a cake on her plate."
"At least she uses a needle good. Why else would someone want her around?"
The voices wouldn't stop.
They never stop. But deep in the depths of slumber, they were even worse.
They were cruel. Ruthlessly, shamelessly cruel. 
And it wasn't just that they were cruel. She hadn't formed these thoughts inside of her head. These were things that she had overheard. Sometimes to her face. It was the same thing, over and over. Someone would pretend to be her friend, usually so as to get the perks that come with being around the daughter of apparel sellers. When they had what they wanted, they left. Usually with some backhanded comment.
"You're a weirdo."
"You're fat."
"Who would ever be friends with such a quiet little freak?"
They refused to stop. She thought they were right. Even the ones she had thought were her real friends had turned away from her, in her mind. Such beautiful, successful people would stop caring about her eventually. If they ever really did.
The voices kept coming.
But in the unending cacophony, something else broke through.
"People are the worst. Going out of the way to make someone feel awful. That's the human condition. They lie, they take advantage, and then they toss you away like trash. They'd only ever be happy knowing that you were gone."
"You don't need to deal with their lies anymore. There's a place waiting for you. Somewhere all those troubles and voices can just disappear. A quiet place far away from the evil of the world. It's time. I can help you. I can show you the way. Let your pain disappear into the sea of oblivion..."
.....
.....
Natalia awoke in her bed.
The lights were off. More apparently, Carrie was fast asleep next to her.
She shed her tears.
It was time.
---
September 9, 2029
The morning started with a hard knock on the door.
"Ugh...who the hell...?" Kat grogged as she exited her room.
"I'm coming, I'm coming..." Barbara muttered as she went to open the door, the pounding on the door persisting.
Carrie stood in the doorway in a clear panic.
"Care? What's wrong?" Barbara asked.
"She...she's gone!" Carrie answered.
"What...what do you mean she's gone?" Kat asked.
"I woke up just now and Natalia wasn't there! And she left...this..."
Kat took a note. The message was short, but clear.
"'Care. I love you. Goodbye.'"
"...oh, fuck." Kat plainly said.
"What are we going to do? What could she be thinking?" Carrie panicked.
"Stay calm, Care. I'll go get everyone. We'll figure something out." Barbara assured.
"I'll call up Prof and Doc. We need to get eyes everywhere. She can't have gone too far." Kat added.
"Kitten..." Carrie uttered.
"It's gonna be okay, Care. It always works out...she's gotta be okay..."
Within a few minutes, the other students gathered in Carrie's dormroom. Rin and Rose arrived in short order. "Any news?" Rin asked.
"She won't answer texts or calls. She turned her phone off so we can't track it. Not a single clue about where she went." Kat replied.
"Think she might've just hopped on a plane and gone home?" Sahir asked.
"Her passport is still in her room. Nothing else was missing. She isn't trying to get home." Barbara replied.
"The tone of this note, brief as it might be...it's concerning. A sense of finality to it. Like she's planning something..." Kenneth began, but ceased his thought upon seeing the distraught look on Carrie's face.
"If she's really planning something drastic, where could she go to? It's not an easy city to just go unseen in." Max pondered.
"...Rin. You don't think that she went to..." Rose suggested.
"....." Rin stood in silent thought.
"What are you thinking, Professor?" Sakuya asked.
"There's somewhere...close to here. About sixty miles out, at the base of Mt. Fuji. A large, dense forest where people go to disappear. Aokigahara. But most of you probably know it by a different name."
"You mean...the Suicide Forest?" Kibō asked.
"Suicide...could she really..." Carrie mumbled.
"That place is known as the Sea of Trees for how dense it is. Sound doesn't travel because of hardened lava from Mt. Fuji. It's known far and wide as a center of death. My friend Miko's life nearly ended there." Rin pulled up her sleeves, revealing her scarring. "As did mine."
"Is Nat really so far gone that she'd try it?" Max asked.
"She almost did once before. Seeing how she was yesterday, I can't discard the possibility." Sakuya replied.
"We have to go. We're already so far behind her. If that's what she's planning, we need to stop her before it's too late." Barbara declared.
"Can we even get there in time?" Sahir asked.
"I've got a teleportation spell in my book. Just show me a map and a picture and I can get us there in no time. Make it snappy, there's no time to lose." Kat replied.
"Please. Please let this be wrong. I can't...I can't lose anyone else. Not her, please..." Carrie uttered.
"We're gonna find her, Care, I promise. Once she sees us all there to help her, she'll know that we're there because we love her. Because you love her. I swear we'll get her back." Kat assured.
"I'm...I'm choosing to believe you, Kitten. I have to stop her. I won't allow her to throw her life away like this." Carrie affirmed.
"...are you okay with this?" Rose whispered to Rin.
"My feelings towards that place aren't important. What's important is getting Natalia home safe." Rin replied. "I'll tell my contacts to keep an eye out in case she hasn't left the city. Get us over there, Kat."
"Right. Here goes nothing." Kat's eyes glowed pink, as a large pink emblem encircled everyone. The light covered the room, and everyone vanished.
---
Just over sixty miles away from Tokyo sat the iconic and pristine dome of Mt. Fuji, and at the base of that mountain was a sprawling, dense forest.
In this dense, soundproof treescape, police and coroner's vehicles were a common sight. To anyone coming to visit the parks for the lush landscapes, it meant that another lost soul had chosen to end their life within the forest.
On this day, a set of policemen looked over the body of a young man, lying face down in the brush. The lead officer sighed. "That's already the fourth one this month. Terrible. What must've been going through your head, I wonder? We got an ID?"
"Nothing on him, sir. Cause of death isn't clear yet, either. No obvious scars...clothes are too neat to be a jumper...might be an overdose."
"Might be." The lead officer took a closer look at the man's face, which was curled into a look of agony. "Another one. How do you look that scared when you're choosing to take your own life? How many is that now..."
Invisible to the officers' eyes, but clear to anyone versed in the ways of the cognitive world, was a set of four giant, red claw marks going right across the young man's back.
Elsewhere, in another entrance to the forest, Natalia stood, hood over her head. With a look of trepidation on her face, she slowly made her way in.
Next to the entrance was a sign, warning those who wished to bring harm unto themselves to seek help.
Her gaze focused on the path in front of her, she didn't notice the four red claw marks carved into the sign.
"I don't know, sir. Maybe people are right...maybe there is something evil in these woods. Something that can scare even those that seek the end." the officer said to his boss back where the man's body was found.
"Something that makes food...out of misery and despair."
The forest possessed an air of stillness, not a sign of life to be found. The only noise that could be heard was the rustling of the trees. Becoming lost within the confines of the forest was a simple feat...for those who desired to leave. The isolated nature of the sea of trees was the key reason why so many come year after year with the sole purpose of never leaving.
So it was that Natalia found herself wandering through, with little sense of direction, yet simultaneously feeling as though she was being directed somewhere. Here was where all of the troubles plaguing her mind could finally be silenced, she thought. The name-calling, the insults, the sense of paranoia and betrayal; all of the things that haunted her constantly. And the people around her would be better off with her gone. Her parents, her friends...Carrie. She was a burden on everyone. "Why can't you just disappear?" was the thing her so-called 'friends' would pose to her back home. 
Now everyone would be getting their wish.
Deeper and deeper she went. No way she could ever get out now, she thought. The invisible force guiding her took her into the depths of the forest. After what felt like ages of walking, the girl arrived at an old structure. An adequately-sized shrine, large enough to house one or two people, that from the look of it seemed to have been long abandoned. What could someone come out here to worship, anyhow? 
Cautiously, Natalia walked up the steps to the door. Here was where the air felt coldest. At its most lifeless. As she lightly pushed the door open, she had the nerve-wracking sense that she was being watched.
"Why are you so afraid?" a voice echoed in her mind. "The end is near. What's left to fear once life stops being worth it? Why worry when this diseased mudball has already deemed you beneath its notice?"
The pit in her stomach growing by the second, Natalia entered the shrine. The creaking of the wooden planks were a testament to the structure's pronounced age. Anything that had once been hanging from the ceiling and walls had long since fallen to the ground. The open center of the building, likely once home to a garden, was now overwrought with weeds.
Within the northernmost section of the shrine, a faint light could be seen through the window. Natalia approached it. 
The weeds in the garden had grown so high, she didn't notice the scattered bones lying beneath them.
Natalia reached out to open the door.
"There's nothing wrong with you, Danish."
"...? Mama?"
"Your mom's right, kiddo. Forget what those awful little witches said. Your our adorable little Danish, so full of talent. I've met older seamstresses who couldn't get anywhere near your output, or close to as quick as you can."
"Papa...?"
"Dont let a bunch of spoiled brats tell you that you're worthless. And please, don't ever say that you wish you weren't born. The doctors told me for my entire life that I could never have children, and then you came along and made them look stupid. You're our miracle, Natalia. We'd be destroyed if anything ever happened to you..."
Her hand reaching for the door, her other hand grabbed it and pulled it away. "Wha...what am I doing here?"
Images flashed through her head. The explosion in her dorm. The one that pushed her away and took the brunt of it. The one that nearly lost her life trying to save hers.
"I love you."
"I...no...I don't want--"
"Second thoughts, girlie?"
Natalia turned to her left. The person standing there defied any sense of rationality.
She was a teenaged girl, wearing a dark jacket and jeans, with short, brown hair. Her eyes gave off a yellow glow. And despite the distortion in her voice and the differences in her appearance and age, there was that jarring sense of familiarity. And the accompanying sense that this person should not have been there.
"Seriously? After all the trouble I went through to drag you out here, you're gonna give me the cold shoulder right at the last second? You understand how not cool that shit is? Uuuuuugh, this is so lame! You're gonna tell me I've been licking my chops for nothing?" the girl complained.
"Who...who are you? You can't be--"
"'Can't be the Professor, can you?'" the girl mocked. "Ahehehehehe, look at that, we're on the same wavelength and everything! You're half-right. I'm not your sweet little Professor. I'm who she pretends she isn't. But forget about that. We've got business deals to go over. Equivalent exchange, if you will. You hand me every last drop of your mortal spirit, and I give you release from your pain. Don't act like it isn't what you really want."
"I...I..."
"Oh, Natie. I get what you're feeling, really. I know what it's like to be tossed away like a piece of garbage. But I've made the best of it! A perfect existence of taking the souls of folks who don't want them anymore! I'm running a legitimate enterprise here. Now, we can do this one of two ways, blondie. You either be a good girl, quit with the whimpering and let me take you to a quiet place, or you can keep acting like a brat and force me to make things messy. Up to you."
".....no. I don't know what you are, but I...I don't want to die! I'm tired of being sad all the time, but I know there's people that care about me! This isn't what I want. And I absolutely don't want to be your dinner!"
"Rin" sighed. "Really gonna be like that, huh? Okay, have it your way. I like playing with my prey, anyway."
Natalia let out a telepathic burst, sending "Rin" into a wall. She made a break for the exit. "Pfeh. Don't get a lot of runners around here." the girl scoffed, unscathed.
Natalia made it out of the shrine. She ran, and kept running. All the while, the sinister girl continued to taunt her, sounding as though she was right next to her ear.
"Where are you gonna go, you little creampuff? You're in the middle of nowhere! Nobody's gonna hear you screaming! But go ahead and do it anyway. If it tires you out quicker, so much better for me! I've spent the last decade putting sad sacks out of their misery. I know this forest better than anyone. There's nowhere for you to hide. You've got no other choice but to be my dinner!"
Natalia grew tired, and hid behind a tree. 
"Keep this up as long as you like, Natie. The more you run, the more it'll start to sink in that there's no escape. That hopelessness, that fear, that despair...I can taste it on you. And it's delicious."
Natalia was sweating, and trembling. As she began to think over her next move, something fluttered down close to her face. A pitch-black feather. She gazed up.
"Rin" was crouched down on a branch. "Boo."
Natalia used her power to rip the branch out from the tree, but the ephemeral girl vanished. "Where did she...?"
The girl materialized directly in front of her. She pushed her hand straight through Natalia's chest, and out the other end came a second Natalia, this one garbed in a red cat-ear hood and possessing glowing yellow eyes. The original Natalia slumped against the tree.
"Ugh...hey! What am I doing out here?! How did--?!" Shadow Natalia questioned.
"Do you know what happens when a person's Shadow dies?" "Rin" asked. She leapt back up onto another branch. "It's pretty gnarly stuff. Your eyes roll back into your head, your nervous system shuts down...your brain dies, basically. And all that's left is a messed up corpse, face curled up with fear. Now here's another question. If someone who suffered one of these 'mental shutdowns' was found in a forest where people routinely off themselves, how do you think the cops would see it? What better place is there in the world to consume despair-filled Shadows and get away with it?"
"Who are you?! You're not seriously the Professor, are you?!"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I told you already, you stupid piece of frosting! I'm every sick, angry thought that apple-loving bitch has ever had! I was her killing edge before she threw me away and embraced the sun!" Dark energy flared up around "Rin", and her form became even more monstrous. Her body turned pitch-black, her hands and feet became talons, her form covered with feathers. Her mouth disappeared into her face, and her eyes glowed red, as did parts of her body and her now-extended hair. 
"I am Karas. I am DEATH. Just letting you know...so when Kerberos asks you, you can let her know who sent you!" The demonic spirit let out a blood-curdling, inhuman wail, that echoed through the otherwise silent forest.
Elsewhere in the sea of trees, Rin, Rose and the remaining students were searching and calling out for Natalia. "This is dire. Unless we're relatively close, she won't hear us. The forest floor is filled with hardened lava. Sound won't travel very--" Kenneth explained.
Just then, the horrible wail echoed out.
"What the hell was that?!" Sahir asked.
"You were saying, Mr. Geology?" Max questioned.
"That noise...nothing of this world made that sound." Rose responded.
"I'm guessing whatever left all those big claw marks is what just did that." Barbara said.
"....!!!" Carrie suddenly turned pale.
"Care? What's happening?" Kibō asked.
"Natalia...something's found her...my visions...if we don't find her soon...she'll be..." Carrie uttered.
"We have to move, now. Whatever just made that noise might have gotten to her already. God, please don't be too late..." Kat stated.
"....?!" Rin stopped in her tracks.
"What's wrong?" Rose asked.
"This sensation...I haven't felt like this since...but how...?" Rin shook her head. "No, it's nothing. We have to keep up before we lose them."
The group sprinted towards the source of the wail, not knowing what exactly was waiting for them.