My World Is Filled With Hate

This is how im feeling now.....Based on a few different chats and how they went from happy, to filled with hate. I hope people dont mind me sending out my thoughts, releasing the things i cant say. This is my escape truly.... Kitty (Yes, I do in fact exist.....) 05:03, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
In reality, my life isn't good at the moment. My father lives in Russia, with my step-mum and my three half-sisters. I don't hear from him much really. I don't visit much either. He never talks to me over the phone even...I have only met my half-sisters twice, and that's kinda depressing...I wish to see him more, but I hate him. He left my mom, and caused our life to go down. But I cant blame him truly. I mean, we all make mistakes, right? Anyway, back on track. I live with my mother in Australia. She works as a politician and is always at meetings. She's disappointed with me. She doesnt love my like she loves my twin. Then theres my twin. A few weeks ago, he moved out. Argued with me, and I could yell back. I'm a selective mute you see. Anyway, so hes gone. My cousin is staying with us, with her baby. Shes 17, a teenage mom. Shes been a mom to me too, despite me only being a year younger. Shes wise beyond years and at the moment, she found out her boyfriend cheated on her and is going into depression. So yeah, my lifes f*cked up...I've retreated to wikia, finding shelter. I dont have many friends in reality you see, so i care for the ones in chat heaps. They're like a family i never can meet. Sometimes though, fights get between us. But everyone makes up, and Im happy for once. So my reality life isnt good and today my internet life, just went down.
A family is warm, together, never to be fighting. Sure, there is small arguements but nothing hate worthy. Family at the moment was fine. It was joking. Like a nice, warm hug settled around me. Then a member came and gave us another place to chat. We went there, and fights came. It filled with hate and my mind went turning. I wished to scream out and to tell them to stop. But my brain was too slow and said what i wish i could, i reacted with my bitch side, my mind not my heart. I caused the situation to get worse, and I now regret that. The fight ended, with a member of our family storming off. They havente came back yet. I am kinda ngry at them, but I know i shouldnt be. We're trying to get back now. Im trying to portect the younger members, from all the hate. But now, i feel a burden on my shoukders. A hate itself. Hate tumbling down my sides like a waterfall that I have to give into. Waterfalls, tears, hate, fears. My family was torn apart and Im trying to get it back together, but doing this burden, this task, alone is hard.....
One fight, one chance,
One look, one glance.
All feelings disappeared.
One word, one yell,
One poem, one story to tell.
The burden one my shoulders.
Try and protect,
Feel and regret.
Am I still awake?
Waterfall of tears,
Attack of fears,
I'm being ripped apart...
Trying I am,
They had ran.
It seems Im all alone.
Maybe one hour, or one day,
All hate will go away.
One day, in a dream.......
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