Spider-Man: Far From Home/Transcript

Maria Hill: Nick, this was a tragedy, but it's not why we're here. What, are we fighting the weather now?
Nick Fury: Locals say the cyclone had a face.
Maria Hill: People see things when they're under stress. That does not mean that this is the start to some other big world-ending...
[A mysterious figure appears, landing down in clouds of greenish smoke. The figure is wearing a golden armor with a dark pink cape and a fishbowl helmet. Hill and Fury immediately point their guns at it. The figure's helmet dissipates, revealing Quentin Beck/Mysterio.]
Quentin Beck: Who are you?
[Before Nick and Maria have any chance to respond, something springs out of the ground behind them. It's the Earth Elemental. Fury and Hill immediately open fire.]
Quentin Beck: You don't want any part of this.
[Like a true professional, Mysterio puts his hands forward and shoots a peculiar-looking substance out of them. Cue Marvel logo and fanfare with Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You'' playing in the background.]
[After a video tribute to Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, and Vision, Betty Brant and Jason Ionello are hosting Midtown News.]
Betty Brant: Gone, but not forgotten.
Jason Ionello: Thanks to Kenneth Lim and Vihaan Ramamurthy for their help with that touching video tribute.
Betty Brant: This year has been nothing short of–
Jason Ionello: Shit is crazy. It's, like, insane.
Betty Brant: Jason.
Jason Ionello: What?
Betty Brant: No swearing.
Jason Ionello: Yeah, it's the last day of school, we're good.
Betty Brant: Historic. Over five years ago, half of all life in the universe, including our own Midtown High, was wiped from existence.
[In the gymnasium, the students are watching the marching band when they and them dissolve into dust.]
Betty Brant: But then, 8 months ago, a band of brave heroes brought us back.
[In the gymnasium, the basketball players are playing basketball when the students and the marching band appear in the gymnasium and the marching band knock down some of the basketball players.]
Betty Brant: They called it the Blip. [A photo of Sue Lorman from 2018 appears on the screen and turns into a photo of Sue Lorman from 2024] Those of us who blipped away came back the same age. [A photo of Brad Davis from 2018 appears on the screen and turns into a photo of Brad Davis from 2024] But our classmates that didn't blip had grown five years older.
Jason Ionello: Yeah, like, my little brother is now older than me.
Betty Brant: Yeah, it's math. And even though we had blipped away halfway through the school year, and had already taken midterms, the school made us start the whole year over from the beginning.
Jason Ionello: It's totally unfair. It's not right.
Betty Brant: Tigers, it's been a long, dramatic, somewhat confusing road. [At Midtown School of Science and Technology, Julius Dell walks by a television that is broadcasting Midtown News] As we draw this year to a close, it's time to move on to a new phase of our lives.
Jason Ionello: Pray nothing crazy happens again. Because are the Avengers even like a thing anymore? Does anyone even have a plan?
Peter Parker: I have a plan. Okay, first, I'm gonna sit next to MJ on the flight.
Ned Leeds: Mmm.
Peter Parker: Second, I'm gonna buy a dual-headphone adapter and watch movies with her the whole time.
Ned Leeds: Okay. 
Peter Parker: Three, when we go to Venice Venice is famous for making stuff out of glass, right?
Ned Leeds: True. 
Peter Parker: So I'm gonna buy her a black dahlia necklace because her favorite flower is the black dahlia because of, well-
Ned Leeds: The murder.
Peter Parker: The murder. Four, when we go to Paris, I'm gonna take her to the top of the Eiffel Tower, give her the necklace.
Ned Leeds: Oh.
Peter Parker: Then, five, I'm gonna tell her how I feel. And then, six, hopefully she tells me she feels the same way.
Ned Leeds: Oh, don't forget step seven.
Peter Parker: Step seven? 
Ned Leeds: Don't do any of that.
Peter Parker: Why? 
Ned Leeds: Because we're gonna be bachelors in Europe, Peter.
Peter Parker: Ned. 
Ned Leeds: Look, I may not know much, but I do know this: Europeans love Americans.
Peter Parker: Really? 
Ned Leeds: And more than half of them are women.
Peter Parker: Okay. Sure. But I really like MJ, man, okay? She's awesome, she's super funny in a kind of dark way. Sometimes I catch her looking at me, I feel like I've stood up. She's coming. Just don't say anything. 
MJ: What up, dorks? Excited about the science trip? 
Peter Parker: Hey, yeah, uh, we're just talking about the trip.
Ned Leeds: Yeah, and Peter's plan. 
MJ: You have a plan?
Peter Parker: I don't... I don't have a plan.
Ned Leeds: No, he's- he's just gonna collect tiny spoons when we're traveling to other countries.
MJ: Like, like a grandmother?
Peter Parker: I'm not collecting tiny spoons. He's collecting tiny spoons.
MJ: Oh, okay, well... that was a real roller coaster. [Ned chuckles] By the way, travel tip: You should download a VPN on your phone, so the government can't track you while we're abroad.
Peter Parker: Smart. Will do. [MJ leaves. Seconds later the bell rings]
Ned Leeds: Woah. Dude, I think that went really great.
May Parker: When- when I blipped back to my apartment, the family that was living there was very confused. The wife thought that I was a mistress. The grandma thought that I was a ghost. It was- it was really a mess. Thank you for coming out to support those who have been displaced by the Blip. And, of course, thanks to our very own Spider-Man!
Peter Parker: Thank you, Miss Parker, for having me. And thank you, you guys, for having me.
May Parker: And thank you, Spider-Man. And he'll be right back out to take photos and videos. Thank you!
Peter Parker: That was amazing. 
May Parker: That was great!
Peter Parker: Oh, that was so cool. I was so nervous. 
May Parker: I was a little stiff. I felt like I wasn't in the pocket.
Peter Parker: I thought you did great. 
May Parker: Yeah, well, I catually did think you were a little stiff.
Peter Parker: Yeah, I felt that too. I felt that too.
May Parker: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. 
Peter Parker: Okay.
May Parker: Did you get your passport? 
Peter Parker: Yeah.
May Parker: Mini toothpaste? 
Peter Parker: Yeah, I did.
Happy Hogan: Hey, sorry I'm late.
Peter Parker: Happy. Hey! 
Happy Hogan: Oh, you look lovely.
May Parker: Thanks. You too.
Happy Hogan: Thank you. New dress? 
May Parker: Uh, yeah, yes, it is. Is it a new beard?
Happy Hogan: It's my My Blip beard. Cause I grew it. In the Blip. It's a Blip beard.
May Parker: I see. Yeah.
Happy Hogan: Ee, e, u... Anyway,the reason I'm late is because this was misplaced at the office. Can you believe it? Because it's enormous. Not the amount, the size. The amount's nice too. They're generous. Pepper Potts said, sorry she couldn't be here. 
May Parker: Yeah. Thank you. I think I'm gonna go change the Sterno under the vegan lasagna. Spider-Man, go shake hands.
Peter Parker: Will do. What just happened?
Happy Hogan: Heads up, Nick Fury's calling you.
Peter Parker: Nick Fury's gonna call me? 
Happy Hogan: Yeah.
Peter Parker: Why? 
Happy Hogan: Why? Because he probably has hero stuff for you to do. You're a superhero. He- he calls superheroes.
Peter Parker: Well I mean, if it was that important, he'd probably call someone else, not me.
Happy Hogan: Apparently not.
Happy Hogan: That's it. No caller ID. That's him. 
Peter Parker: I don't really wanna talk to Nick Fury.
Happy Hogan: Answer the phone. 
Peter Parker: Why?
Happy Hogan: Because if you don't talk to him now, I'll have to talk, and I don't want talk to him.
Peter Parker: Well why don't you wanna talk to him? 
Happy Hogan: Because I'm sca- just answer the phone.
Happy Hogan: You sent Nick Fury to voicemail? 
Peter Parker: Yeah.
Happy Hogan: You don't send Nick Fury to voicemail. 
Peter Parker: Did you hear that? They're calling me. That's- I gotta go. 
Happy Hogan: You gotta talk to him.
Peter Parker: I'm gonna call him. I promise you, I'm gonna call him. I will.
Happy Hogan: You do not ghost Nick Fury.
Peter Parker: I promise you, I'll call him. After my trip. Hey!
Happy Hogan: Yeah, hi- no, no, he's not ghosting you.
Peter Parker: Okay, okay, one question at a time.
Journalist #1: Are you the head Avenger? Are you the head Avenger now?
Peter Parker: No, I'm not.
Journalist #2: If the aliens come back, what are you gonna do? If the aliens come back, what are you gonna do?
Peter Parker: Does anyone have any neighborhood questions?
Journalist #3: Sean Winford, Queens Tribune. What it is like to take over from Tony Stark? Those are some big shoes to fill.
Peter Parker: I'mma- I'm gonna go. Thanks so much, everyone, for coming. Okay.
May Parker: Hungry? [She chucks a banana at Peter, who doesn't see it coming and is hit in the face]
May Parker: So sorry. I thought you could sense that with your Peter-tingle.
Peter Parker: Please do not start calling it my Peter-tingle.
May Parker: What's up? You can dodge bullets but not bananas?
Peter Parker: No, I just really need this vacation. I need a break.
May Parker: You deserve it. Yeah. You know what? You should pack your suit, just in case. I have a tingle about it.
Peter Parker: Please stop saying "tingle," May. No. No. No, I'm not.
[Cut to Peter and his class in the plane, on their way to Venice.]
Ned Leeds: Yeah! 
Passenger #1: Can you help me get my stuff up here?
Passenger #2: Oh, sorry, that's mine. 
Passenger #3: No worries.
Passenger #4: Middle seat gets both armrests. 
Passenger #5:Give me a tablet.
Roger Harrington: Do you want the first shift or the second? I could take either.
Julius Dell: Give me the third shift. I took an Ambien.
Roger Harrington: I can't chaperone these kids alone. 
Flash Thomspon: Yo, Parker. [Peter looks at him, puzzled]
Flash Thompson: This is called an airplane. It's like the buses you're used to, except it flies over the poor neighborhoods instead of driving through them.
MJ: Ma'am?
MJ: He blipped, so technically, he's 16, not 21.
Flight Attendant: I'll take that. [The class chuckles faintly as Flash has his drink taken away from him]
Flash Thompson: She's lying! I don't even know this girl.
Brad Davis: Classic MJ, right?
Peter Parker: Did you know Brad was coming?
Ned Leeds: It- it's so weird. Like one day, he's that kid who cried and got nosebleeds all the time, and suddenly, we blip back, and he's totally ripped and super nice and all these girls are after him.
Peter Parker: Not all the girls are after him. 
Ned Leeds: No, man, they're all after him.
MJ: Yeah. Here.
Ned Leeds: Anyway, on to more important things. It's a nine-hour flight. We can play Beast Slayers the whole time. Are you excited?
Peter Parker: I need your help to sit next to MJ.
Ned Leeds: Seriously?
Peter Parker: Yes, seriously.
Ned Leeds: What about our plan? American bachelors in Europe.
Peter Parker: That's your plan. That's a solo plan. Come on, this is my plan. [Ned looks at him with disappointment] Please.
Ned Leeds: Hey, guys. There's an old lady in front of us wearing a crazy amount of perfume, and it's kind of setting off Peter's allergies. Uh, you know, Betty, if you could just switch seats with him, that would be-
Betty Brant: He's allergic to perfume?
Ned Leeds: Yeah, yeah, cause, um, it, it makes his eyes water, and he can't really- 
Roger Harrington: Peter has a perfume allergy?
Ned Leeds: Ohh uhhh...
Roger Harrington: I'll tell you from experience, perfume allergies are no joke. I can feel hives breaking out already. MJ, stand up. Ned, take MJ's spot. MJ, you take my spot. Peter, let's get you out of there. Sorry. Zach and Sebastian, you take Ned and Peter's seats. That's all right. Ned, thanks for bringing this to my attention. Your safety is my responsibility. And Mr. Dell's, but he's... [He looks at Dell, who is sleeping very comfortably] I got it for now. Let's go, Peter! Let's go!
Roger Harrington: Yeah, I have a small bladder, so I took the aisle.
Ned Leeds: So did you want to play Beast Slayer?
Betty Brant: Nope.
Ned Leeds: Have you- have you ever played any kind of PC game or?
Betty Brant: No. 
Ned Leeds: Got it.
Roger Harrington: Did I tell you how my wife pretended to Blip out? Turns out, she ran off with a guy in her hiking group. We had a fake funeral for her. Well, the funeral was real because I thought she was really dead. You wanna see the video?
Brad Davis: Oh, I got a dual-headphone adapter if you want to watch a movie.
MJ: Only if it's depressing. Or hilarious.
Roger Harrington: Oh, you have a dual-headphone adapter. We can watch together.
Captain: Good afternoon, this is your captain speaking. Our flight time will be eight hours, 49 minutes to Venice, Italy.
Nice picture.
Peter Parker: Hey, did you see Brad and MJ on the plane? They were watching movies and laughing the entire time.
Ned Leeds: Dude, don't worry, okay? I'm sure that's nothing.
Betty Brant: Hey, babe. Can you hold this?
Ned Leeds: Yeah, of course. Thanks.
Peter Parker: What was that?
Ned Leeds: Uh, well, we got to talking on the plane, and it turns out, we have a lot in common. So we're boyfriend and girlfriend now.
Peter Parker: Whatever happened to being an American bachelor in Europe?
Ned Leeds: Peter, those were the words of a boy. And that boy met a woman. A very strong and powerful woman. And now that boy's a man.
Betty Brant: Babe? 
Ned Leeds: Coming, babe.
Peter Parker: There's nothing in there. I swear.
Airport Worker: These, no.
Peter Parker: Sorry. Sorry. I'm here. Mr. Harrington. 
Roger Harrington: Wait, wait, wait.
Peter Parker: I'm here, I'm here. 
Roger Harrington: Oh, thank goodness.
Roger Harrington: Looks like we're here. They're doing renovations to the place. Getting some upgrades. Oh, this is trash. That must be the concierge. Okay.
Julius Dell: Come on, man.
Roger Harrington: Everyone, here we are.
Betty Brant: [in the background] Tell me we're not staying here. Oh no.
Julius Dell: Come on in.
Flash Thompson: This place is sinking.
Roger Harrington: I think you mean "charming." 
Betty Brant: Oh, it stinks.
Julius Dell: Okay, everybody, drop your bags off. We're gonna meet at the da Vinci Museum at 3. Let's go!
Roger Harrington: ¡Vamonos! 
MJ: It's "andiamo."
Roger Harrington: Andiamo! There you go.
Julius Dell: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When you're in Venice, your socks get wet.
Flash Thompson: What's up, Flash Mob? How you guys doing? I'm here in St. Marco Polo's- [Gets hit by a random mugger]
Betty Brant: This is so much fun. 
Ned Leeds: Yeah?
Zoha: Three, two, one. Say "pizza."
Students: Pizza! Pizza time!
Peter Parker: Hi. I'm looking for a...
Italian Storekeeper: Fiore nero.
Peter Parker: It's perfect.
MJ: Boh!
Peter Parker: What?
MJ: Boh. The most perfect word. Italians created it, I just discovered it.
Peter Parker: What does it mean? 
MJ: That's the thing. It can mean a million things."I don't know." "Get out of my face." "I don't know" and "Get out of my face." It's the best thing Italy created, except for, maybe, espresso.
Peter Parker: Oh, so you've been drinking espresso.
Street Seller: Hey. German? American. A rose for you.
MJ: Boh. 
Peter: Woah.
MJ: "Boh" is my new superpower. It's like the anti-"aloha." I was born to say this word. So, what's in the bag?
Peter Parker: Oh..uh, boh.
MJ: Nice..
Betty Brant: What was that?
Peter Parker: Betty! You okay? 
Betty Brant: Yeah. 
Peter Parker: Come on.
Passerby: [in the background] Oh, my God! 
Betty Brant: Guys, we gotta go!
Ned Leeds: What is that? 
Peter Parker: I don't know.
Ned Leeds: What'll you do? 
Peter Parker: I left my suit in the hotel.
Ned Leeds: Why? 
Peter Parker: Because I'm on vacation, Ned! Everyone's gonna see my face. Get them out of here.
Betty Brant: Go! 
Peter Parker: Just go!
Peter Parker: Get out of here. Go!
Peter Parker: Oh, my God. Come on.
Peter Parker: Oh, no, you don't.
Peter Parker: You okay? Get out of here. Go!
Peter Parker: Excuse me, sir! I- I can help. Let me help. I'm really strong, and I'm sticky!
Quentin Beck: I need you to lead it away from the canals!
Julius Dell: The da Vinci Museum. This is why we're here in Venice.
Roger Harrington: Oh, this is it. It's closed.
Julius Dell: What do you mean? Till when?
Roger Harrington: November.
Julius Dell: You didn't check the website? 
Roger Harrington: Oh, that's a good idea.
Peter Parker: Oh, come on.
Roger Harrington: Stay low, kids. We'll be safe here.
Zach Cooper: Who is that guy?
Brad Davis: I don't know, but he's kicking that water's ass.
Students: Yeah! Yeah!
Ned Leeds: It's aliens. It has to be.
Flash Thompson: BuzzFeed says there's a sailor named Morris Bench who was exposed to an experimental underwater generator and got hydro powers.
MJ: Yeah, you should definitely believe everything you read on the Internet.
Flash Thompson: Spider-Man could take him. 
Roger Harrington: What do you think it is?
Julius Dell: Being a man of science, witches.
Peter Parker: No, no, no. We wanna stay.
May Parker: It is a good thing I packed your suit, huh? I can't believe you forgot it. 
Peter Parker: Yeah.
May Parker: So who was that guy that you were with? Was that Mr. Strange?
Peter Parker: Doctor Strange, May. Doctor Strange. And, no, I don't know who that was. It was a new guy. I was trying to help him- 
May Parker: Happy, that's my lunch. Don't eat that one.
Peter Parker: Happy's there? 
May Parker: Yeah, it's Happy. He's here. He came by to volunteer. And he's hanging around the office. And he wants to say hi. 
Happy Hogan: I don't want- Hi, Peter.
Peter Parker: Hey, Happy.
Happy Hogan: Sorry, I'm working hard here. I gotta do a- a leaflet drop.
Peter Parker: What are you doing? 
Happy Hogan: I'm glad you're having a good time. Don't worry, I'm really taking care of your aunt.
May Parker:So how's the plan going?
Peter Parker: There's been setbacks, for sure.
May Parker: Don't overthink it. Trust your instincts and you'll be fine.
Peter Parker: I know. Love you. Bye.
Betty Brant: Who is that guy?
Brad Davis: He's like Iron Man and Thor rolled into one.
Flash Thompson: He's alright. He's no Spider-Man.
MJ: What is it with you and Spider-Man?
Flash Thompson: What? He's just awesome, okay? He protects the neighborhood and y'know he's inspiring. He inspires me to be a better man. [To Peter] 'Sup, dickwad? Thought you drowned.
Italian News Anchor: L'uomo del misterio combatutto con la creatura aquatica...
Brad Davis: Sounds like his name's Mysterio.
MJ: "L'uomo del misterio" is Italian for "man of mystery." They don't actually know who he is. 
Ned Leeds: Mysterio.
Ned Leeds & Betty Brant: Cool name. Babe. 
Peter Parker: So how much of that did you see?
MJ: Not much. I was running.
Peter Parker: Right. Me too. I was also running... away. So Paris tomorrow. Go to the Eiffel Tower. Should be great.
MJ: Yeah, I read it was secretly built as a mind-control antenna to create an army of the insane. 
Peter Parker: Oh.
MJ: Which is why it's my favorite destination on the whole trip.
Ned Leeds: What are you gonna do about the water monster?
Peter Parker: Nothing. It's dead. And besides, that Mysterio guy's all over it. Look, I just wanna spend some time with MJ. We were talking about Paris, and I think she really likes me.
Ned Leeds: That's nice. Reminds me of when Betty and I first fell in love. I had just finished my fruit cobbler, right, and...
Nick Fury: You're a very difficult person to contact, Spider-Man.
Peter Parker: You're Nick Fury. And you just shot Ned.
Nick Fury: It's a mild tranquilizer. He'll be all right. So good to finally meet you. I saw you at the funeral, but I didn't think that was a good time to exchange numbers.
Peter Parker: No, that would've been really inappropriate.
Nick Fury: That's what I just said. 
Peter Parker: Right.
Nick Fury: The important thing is, you're here. I tried to bring you here. You avoided me, and now you're here. What a coincidence.
Peter Parker: Wait. Was this a coincidence?
Nick Fury: I used to know everything. Then I come back five years later, and now I know nothing. No intel, no team. And a high school kid is dodging my calls. Here's what I do know:
A week ago, a village in Mexico was wiped out by a cyclone. Witnesses say that cyclone had a face. 
Nick Fury: [slightly annoyed]Three days later, a similar event in Morocco. A village was...
Roger Harrington: Just making the rounds.See if anyone needs any counseling after today's traumatic events.
Peter Parker: No, we'll be okay. We're fine. Thank you.
Roger Harrington: Great because I'm I'm not qualified to actually- Oh, he's passed out. I'm not qualified to do it anyway, so good night.
Peter Parker: That was my teacher. Sorry about that. You were saying?
Nick Fury: A village was destroyed by what may well be another world-threatening...
Betty Brant (vo): Babe, you still awake? You're not answering any of my texts.
Peter Parker: Ummm... He's asleep, Betty.
Betty Brant (vo): Oh, already?
Peter Parker: Yeah. 
Betty Brant: Okay.
Nick Fury: That's why it's imperative... 
Julius Dell (vo): Hey, boys. So that canal water today was filled with dangerous bacteria... 
Nick Fury: [legit pissed] Another person touches that door, you and I are going to attend another funeral. Suit up. 
Julius Dell (vo): ...Let me know if you develop vomiting.
[Cut to Peter and Nick riding a boat.]
Nick Fury: Stark left these for you.
Peter Parker: Really?
[Fury gives Spider-Man a glasses case. Peter takes it and opens it to reveal a pair of sunglasses. He turns to Fury.]
Nick Fury: Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Stark said you wouldn't get that because it's not a Star Wars reference.
[Some time later, the two are walking across the corridors of some mysterious underground vault.]
Nick Fury: You can lose the mask. Everyone here has seen you without it. You'd be feigning anonymity and breathing through spandex for no good reason.
[Peter stops and removes the mask, looking somewhat exhausted. He spends a little while examinign the place before Fury calls him.]
Nick Fury: Come on.
Peter Parker: Yeah.
[Peter follows Fury and learns that the vault had been remade into some sort of a special operations covert spy base. The room is loaded with spy equipment, hardware, computers and whatnot.]
Nick Fury: Over there, we have Maria Hill. [Maria Hill is seen operating a computer] That is Dimitri. [Dmitiri Smerdyakov, a Russian sitting next to Hill, cocks a crossbow] And this is Mr. Beck. [Nick points to a man in an old-fashioned looking suit of armor with a cape. Mysterio.]
Peter Parker: Mysterio?
Quentin Beck: What?
Peter Parker: Doesn't matter. It's just what my friends have been calling you.
Quentin Beck: Well, you can call me Quentin. [They shake hands] You handled yourself well out there today. I saw what you did with the tower. We could use someone like you on my world.
Peter Parker: Thanks. [Then he remembers Mysterio's words] I'm sorry. Your world?
Nick Fury: Mr. Beck is from Earth. Just not yours.
Quentin Beck: There are multiple realities, Peter. This is Earth Dimension 616. I'm from Earth 833.
Peter Parker: Sorry, you're saying there's a multiverse? I thought that was theoretical. That changes how we understand the initial singularity. [Fury and Hill turn to him, confused] We're talking about an eternal inflation system. How does that even work with all the quantum...? It's insane. [He notices Nick and Maria looking at him with exasperation] Sorry. It's really cool.
Quentin Beck: Don't ever apologize for being the smartest one in the room. [Peter smiles broadly, flattered. Fury scoffs faintly.]
Maria Hill: Anyway. [She triggers a holographic projection of the Elementals and their origins]
Quentin Beck: They were born in stable orbits within black holes. Creatures formed from the primary elements: Air, water, fire, earth. The Science Division had a technical name. We just called them Elementals.
Maria Hill: Versions of them exist across our mythologies.
Quentin Beck: Turns out, the myths are real.
Peter Parker: Like Thor. Thor was a myth, now I study him in my physics class.
Nick Fury: These myths are threats.
Quentin Beck: They first materialized on my Earth many years ago. [Cue a holographic 3D model of Beck's Earth] We mobilized and fought them, but with each battle, they grew, got stronger. I was part of the last battalion left trying to stop them. [As Beck speaks a wave of fire slowly engulfs the planet's surface, rendering it a barren, charred wasteland] All we did was delay the inevitable.
Maria Hill: The Elementals are here now, attacking the same coordinates. Our satellites confirm it.
Nick Fury: So thank Mr. Beck for destroying the other three. There's only one left: fire.
Quentin Beck: The strongest of them all. The one that destroyed my Earth. [As if to amplify his narration, the digital wasteland crumbles and falls apart, until there's nothing left in the holo space] It's the one that took my family. [Peter notices a wedding ring on the hero's ring finger]
Peter Parker: I'm sorry.
Maria Hill: And it will be in Prague in approximately 48 hours.
Nick Fury: We have one mission: kill it. And you're coming with us.
Peter Parker: I'm sorry, did you say Prague? [He glances at Hill, uncertain whether he heard her right or not] Ueh... Mr. Fury, this all seems like bigtime, you know, huge superhero kind of stuff. And... I mean, I'm just a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, sir.
Nick Fury: Bitch, please. You've been to space.
Peter Parker: I know, but that was an accident. Sir, c'mon. There's gotta be someone else you can use. What about Thor? 
Nick Fury: Off-world.
Peter Parker: Okay, Doctor Strange.
Maria Hill: Unavailable. 
Peter Parker: Captain Marvel.
Nick Fury: Don't invoke her name.
Sir, look, I really wanna help. I do. But if my aunt finds out I left my class trip, she's gonna kill me. And if I'm seen like this in Europe after the Washington Monument, my class will figure out who I am, then, and then the whole world will figure out who I am, and then I'm done.
Nick Fury: Okay. I understand.
Peter Parker: I'm sorry, what?
Nick Fury: Why don't you get back before your teachers, who miss you, become suspicious. [He smiles knowingly] Dimitri. Take him back to the hotel, please.
Dimitri Smerdyakov: Yes.
Peter Parker: Thank you, Mr. Fury. And good luck. [As he prepares to leave, he walks past Mysterio]
Quentin Beck: See you, kid.
Peter Parker: Yeah, see you.
Peter Parker: Bye, ma'am. 
Maria Hill: [checking the satelies, turned away from Peter] Yeah.
Betty Brant: Drink lots of water. I'm gonna get you a vitamin C pill. You cannot get sick, okay babe? 
Ned Leeds: Okay. Thanks, baby.
Peter Parker: Hey man, are you sure you're good?
Ned Leeds: Oh, dude, I'm fine.
Peter Parker: Okay. Nice. 
Ned Leeds: OK, don't worry. Seriously - getting tranq'd in the neck by Nick Fury, probably the coolest thing that ever happened to me anyway.
Peter Parker: It is pretty awesome. Yeah. I'm happy I don't have to go to Prague. [They perform their high-five combo from Spider-Man: Homecoming]
Ned Leeds: Seriously.
[As if on cue, Mr. Harrington walks out of the hotel and springs past them.]
Roger Harrington: Good news. We're going to Prague, huh?
Peter Parker: What? What?!
Roger Harrington: Yeah. Tour company called. They upgraded us. You should've heard me on the phone with them. I really gave them hell.
Julius Dell: All I heard was crying.
Roger Harrington: Look at our upgraded ride. 
Students: Whoa, bro, you see that? It's pretty sick.
Julius Dell: I'm impressed, Mr. Harrington. 
Peter Parker: Oh, come on.
Ned Leeds: Peter, wh- what's going on?
Peter Parker: I think Nick Fury just hijacked our summer vacation.
Roger Harrington: I'm Mr. Harrington to the kids... [Dimitri does not respond] oh, all right. Okay.
Ned Leeds: Awesome.
Peter Parker: Yeah. Awesome.
Flash Thompson: Yo, what's up, Flash Mob? It's your boy, the Big F, cruising through the Alps with my private driver, Dimitri.
[Meanwhile, Peter is reading an article called "Top 10 Romantic Places in Prague" on his phone. He picks up the glasses case from his bag and opens it to reveal the sunglasses. Peter puts them on, then picks up the note.]
Peter Parker: [Reads the note] "For the next Tony Stark, I trust you. Say E.D.I.T.H."
[The sunglasses light up.]
E.D.I.T.H.: Stand by for retinal and biometric scan. [The glasses scan Peter's face] Retinal and biometric scan accepted.
Peter Parker: Hello?
E.D.I.T.H.: Hello, Peter. I am E.D.I.T.H., Tony Stark's augmented-reality security and defense system.
Peter Parker: So he made you for me?
E.D.I.T.H.: No, but you have access to all of Tony's protocols.
Peter Parker: Cool.
E.D.I.T.H.: Would you like to see what I can do? E.D.I.T.H. stands for "Even Dead, I'm the Hero." Tony loved his acronyms.
Peter Parker: Yeah, he did.
E.D.I.T.H.: I have access to the entire Stark Global Security network, including multiple defense satellites, as well as back doors to all major telecommunication networks.
[Peter sees what everyone is doing on their phones. He sees Flash texting "Mother, have not heard from you or father in days", Brad searching "Prague romantic spots", a student texting "Hey Mom, Venice was crazy! Can you transfer me more money?", Harrington texting "Looks like things are finally looking up! Finally some good luck", and Dell reading "The History of Witchcraft".]
Peter Parker: Is MJ texting? No. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. That's– that's wrong. That's wrong.
[Peter looks over to see Ned and Betty texting each other, Ned texting "Miss you" and Betty texting "Miss you more". The coach drives over to a gas station. Everyone leaves the vehicle.]
Dimitri Smerdyakov: Petrol and toilets. Ten minutes!
Flash Thompson: Flash Mob, this is what we doing out here...
Julius Dell:  Toilet, toilet, toilet. Which way to the toilet?
Roger Harrington: Ten minutes, everyone. Dimitri, where exactly are we? [Smerdyakov stands still, without a word] Okay. I'll figure it out. 
Betty Brant: Oh, my gosh, it's so sick. It's beautiful.
Peter Parker: What?
Peter Parker: Hello.
Austrian Agent: Close the door.
Peter Parker: I'm Peter Parker.
Austrian Agent: Take off your clothes.
Peter Parker: Excuse me? 
Austrian Agent: You told Fury Spider-Man cannot be seen in Europe. So I made you this, another suit.
Peter Parker: Oh, thank you. I'm sure it fits fine. I don't need to try- 
Austrian Agent: Take off your clothes!
Peter Parker: Okay. Sure. mm. It's a little embarrassing. 
Austrian Agent: Now! Hurry up.
Peter Parker: This is weird.
Peter Parker: No, no, no. Don't-
Brad Davis: Sorry. I thought this was the bathroom. 
Peter Parker: This is not what it looks like. Just-
Brad Davis: Yeah.
Peter Parker: What are you doing? Brad? [He takes a picture of them]
Brad Davis: I'll leave you two alone.
Peter Parker: Oh, my God. Don't shoot anybody. Brad! It's not what it looks like, buddy. Hey, man, look, that's-
Brad Davis: Look, Peter, I'm not here to judge your life choices, dude. If you want to hook up with some random European chick on our school trip, that's on you.
Peter Parker: That's not what that was, honestly.
Brad Davis: I can't pretend I didn't see what I just saw. I know you're trying to get with MJ. It's obvious. But I like her too. 
Peter Parker: Wait a minute. Hey, hey. You cannot show her that photo, dude. C'mon.
Brad Davis: I'm sorry, man. I have to. She deserves the truth.
Julius Dell: Okay, put your one foot in front of the other, and, everybody, back on the bus.
Roger Harrington: It's been 10 minutes. Let's go!
Flash Thompson: What's up, Flash Mob? It's your boy, Big F... 
Peter Parker: EDITH? 
E.D.I.T.H.: Hello, Peter. How can I help you?
Peter Parker: Hey. There's this guy in my class who's gonna ruin everything with MJ...
 E.D.I.T.H.: Peter, I'm having difficulty hearing you. Can you please speak up?
Peter Parker: Brad Davis. He has a photo of me.
E.D.I.T.H.: Brad Davis. Is he a target?
Peter Parker: Is Brad a target? Yeah. He's a target. He's a target. 
E.D.I.T.H.: Copy that. Target is Brad Davis. Initiating strike.
Peter Parker: Initiating what now? 
E.D.I.T.H.: Intercept point determined. Releasing kill vehicle. 
Peter Parker: EDITH.
Peter Parker: Oh, my God. [Flash suddenly steals the glasses]
Flash Thompson: Dope glasses, Parker. [He puts them on] How'd you pay for these? 
Peter Parker: Flash, give them back. Give me them back...
Flash Thompson: I'm really paying you a compliment. 
Peter Parker: Please give me... [He quickly looks to the side and accidentally knocks Flash out] I'm so sorry.
Peter Parker: EDITH, don't kill Brad. 
E.D.I.T.H.: Do you want me to cancel the drone strike on Brad Davis? 
Zoha: Did you punch Flash?
Peter Parker: No. 
E.D.I.T.H.: Firing.
Roger Harrington: Oh, look out!
Julius Dell: Hey, this is not the autobahn!
Peter Parker: EDITH. 
Julius Dell: Harrington! Is this the autobahn? Appears to be.
E.D.I.T.H.: Commencing second strike. 
Roger Harrington: Peter. Plant your fanny in the seat and buckle up right now. 
Peter Parker: Look at the baby mountain goats!
Roger Harrington: Baby mountain goats? I see them.
Roger Harrington: I don't see any mountain goats.
Peter Parker: You missed them.
Betty Brant: I know you think none of us have noticed, Peter What? but your new look, I love it. Right, babe? 
Peter Parker: Thanks.
Ned Leeds: Yeah. Sophisticated, classy, very European.
Peter Parker: Oh, man. Let's try that again.
Brad Davis: This is so weird. It was right here on my phone. I, I-
MJ: Yeah. Weird.
Flash Thompson: Ow...
Sebastian: Whoa, freaking beautiful.
Yasmin Monette: This is amazing.
Betty Brant: Wow, this place is so classy.
Zach Cooper: Yeah, so why are we here?
Flash Thompson: Speak for yourself. I'm home.
Roger Harrington: What can I say? The squeaky wheel gets the upgrade grease. Everyone get settled, rest up because tonight, big surprise, is Prague's annual Carnival of Lights.
Peter Parker: Yeah! Hello?
Maria Hill: Parker, it's Hill. There's an earpiece with your suit. Put it on and await further instructions. Understood?
Peter Parker: Uh... yes, ma'am.
Maria Hill: Yeah. 
Ned Leeds: Hey, man.
Peter Parker: Hey. 
Ned Leeds: Look, I am so sorry if I seem like I'm preoccupied with my relationship. I'm still your guy in the chair. 
Peter Parker: No, it's all good. Don't worry about it.
Ned Leeds: Okay. Great.
Peter Parker: Great. It's fine.
Ned Leeds: So, what's the status on the Elemental thing? Where's it gonna happen? 
Peter Parker: Here in the city.
Ned Leeds: Peter, we're here! 
Peter Parker: I know, I know. Well, it's not good. It's- I'm figuring it out.
Ned Leeds: You have to do something, Peter,please. We're counting on you.
Betty Brant: Ned. 
Ned: Yeah. Yeah, babe.
Roger Harrington: The good news is, we've all got our own rooms.
Students: It's about time. Serious?
Nick Fury: Parker? Parker!
Peter Parker: Yes, sir.
Nick Fury: That thing is going to be here in a few hours. Are we boring you?
Quentin Beck: He's not bored. He's just thinking about how you kidnapped him.
Nick Fury: He had obstacles. I removed them.
Maria Hill: And they still won't evacuate the city. [Fury sighs]
Nick Fury: Idiots. So, what's the plan, Parker?
Peter Parker: I will be in the cathedral tower, keeping watch for the fire monster. When that shows up, I will radio you guys, and then Mr. Beck and I will-
Quentin Beck: My name is Mysterio.
Peter Parker: That's when Mysterio and I will move in.
Quentin Beck: Peter, listen to me. The best hope you have, the only hope, is to stop it here now, no matter what the cost. Maneuver it away from civilians if you can, but most important, keep it away from metal. If it gets too big, it'll draw power from the Earth's core. After that, there's no way to stop it. [Having heard that, Nick and Maria exchange suspicious glances]
Peter Parker: Hey man, my friends are here. And I can't help but think we're putting them in danger.
Nick Fury: You're worried about us hurting your friends?! You, who called a drone strike on your own school tour bus? Stark gave you a multibillion-dollar A.R. tactical intelligence system, and the first thing you do with it is try and blow up your friends! It's clear to me that you were not ready for this!
Quentin Beck: Fury asked me to come up here and see how you were doing. He just- he felt bad about snapping at ya.
Peter Parker: Really?
Quentin Beck: You guys do have sarcasm on this Earth, right? [Peter chuckles] How you feeling?
Peter Parker: Uh, I didn't think I was gonna have to save the world this summer. I know that makes me sound like such a jerk. I just ...I had this plan with this girl that I really like and... now it's all ruined.
Quentin Beck: You're not a jerk for wanting a normal life, kid. It's a hard path. You see things. You do things. You make choices. People look up to you and even if you win a battle, sometimes they die. I like you, Peter. You're a good kid. There's a part of me that wants me to tell you, just turn around, run away from all this. And then there's another part of me that knows what we're about to fight, what's at stake, and I'm glad you're here.
Peter Parker: Me too.
Quentin Beck: But you're worried about your friends.
Peter Parker: Yeah. Just always feel like I'm putting them in danger.
Quentin Beck: Look, just get them inside and keep them in a safe place for just a few hours. They'll be all right.
Peter Parker: It's really nice to have somebody to talk to about superhero stuff, you know?
Quentin Beck: Anytime. And, hey, we survive this, you'll have all summer to kill Brad.
Peter Parker: See you out there.
Quentin Beck: All right.
Peter Parker: Excusi... Sorry, that's Italian.
Peter Okay. EDITH?
E.D.I.T.H.: Hello, Peter. 
Peter Parker: Hey, uuuh... I need a way to keep my friends inside the next few hours.
E.D.I.T.H.: Let's see what we can do. 
Roger Harrington: Good news. We're going to the opera!
Students: You're kidding me. 
Betty Brant: The opera?
Julius Dell: Don't look at me. 
MJ: What happened to the carnival?
Roger Harrington: Well, this is upgrade living, guys. Come on. The tour company just gave us these tickets. For free! Do you have any idea how much opera tickets cost?
Flash Thompson: No, because none of us have ever wanted to go to the opera, ever.
Ned Leeds: For I think this is gonna be culturally enriching for us.
Roger Harrington: Thank you, Ned. Everyone, this is gonna be, maybe, the best four hours of our whole trip.
Students: Four hours?!
Ned Leeds: Guys, I think this is gonna be really fun. Seriously.
Roger Harrington: I bet now you're all happy I had you pack a nice outfit.
Flash Thompson: Yeah, because we'd much rather go to a four-hour opera instead of the biggest party in the world.
Julius Dell: Again, don't look at me.
Maria Hill: Parker, do you copy? Comm check, one, two.
Roger Harrington: Okay, here we are. Beat the rush.
Julius Dell: Yeah, the rush out.
Roger Harrington: Lucky for us, we got the best seats in the house.
Julius Dell: Let's go.
Brad Davis: Hey. I'll save you a seat.
Peter Parker: You look really pretty. 
MJ: And therefore, I have value?
Peter Parker: No, no that's not what I meant at all. I was just- 
MJ: I'm messing with you. Thank you. 
Peter Parker: You're welcome.
MJ: You look pretty too. 
Peter Parker: Thank you.
Betty Brant: Oh, my gosh! Opera glasses! 
Ned Leeds: So cute.
Betty Brant: Can I? 
Ned Leeds: Yeah.
MJ: Want to go in on a pair?
Peter Parker: You mean, sit next to each other? 
MJ: Yeah.
Nick Fury: Are you in position?
Peter Parker: No. 
MJ:Okay. No...
Nick Fury: Why the hell not? Parker? 
MJ: ...you don't want to sit next to me, or, no, you just don't want the glasses? 
Peter Parker: I didn't mean that. If you go ahead, I'll go grab us a pair.
MJ: I'll save you a seat next to me. Because, a lot of seats, so I'll be up there. 
Peter Parker:Awesome.
Okay.
Nick Fury: Parker.
Peter Parker: No, I'm coming. I'm- hey, I gotta go. Could you tell MJ that I'm sick or something?
O-okay. Be careful. And, Peter, whatever you do, please steer the monster away from the opera house.
Peter Parker: Yeah, Ned, I know.
Ned Leeds: Okay. 
Peter Parker: Okay?
Ned Leeds: Yeah. 
Peter Parker: Gotta go.
Nick Fury: Parker! You better be on your way.
Peter Parker: Coming.
Betty Brant: Where do you think she's going? Do you think she's going to the carnival?
Ned Leeds: What?
Betty Brant: We should go too.
Ned Leeds: Oh, I, I don't-
Betty Brant: We should go. Yes, we should go. Come on, let's go. Come on.
Peter parker: All right. I'm in position. As soon as I see something, Beck, I'll I'll let you know.
Quentin Beck: Roger that. 
Nick Fury: How's the suit?
Peter Parker: The suit's great. It's awesome. It's a little tight around the old web-shooter.
Nick Fury: Parker! 
Peter Parker: Okay, I'll shut up.
Betty Brant: Oh, my God, babe, isn't this beautiful?
Ned Leeds: Yeah, it's real beautiful, babe...
Betty Brant: What's wrong? 
Ned Leeds: You know, honestly, I just I don't do well with big crowds, so maybe we should- 
Betty Brant: I have the perfect thing. Come on. 
Betty Brant: Don't worry, babe. We'll get away from the crowds, get some fresh air. You'll feel a thousand times better.
Nick Fury: Energy spiking. 
Maria Hill: We have seismic activity.
Peter Parker: Okay, he's here! Beck, you ready? You know what to do. 
Quentin Beck: On your lead, Spider-Man.
Betty Brant: No, come back! Come back and help us!
Quentin Beck: You're up, kid.
Betty Brant: Wait, wait. Is that...? Do you think that's Spider-Man?
Ned Leeds: No, no, no. It's a European rip-off version of him. I actually read about him today. It's not him.
Peter Parker: No, Beck! He's got the carousel! He's getting bigger!
Betty Brant: What's his name? What's his name?
Ned Leeds: It's Night... Night Monkey.
Betty Brant: Night Monkey?
Ned Leeds: Yeah. Yeah. 
Betty Brant: Night Monkey!
Ned Leeds: Yeah. Night Monkey. 
Betty Brant: Night Monkey, help! Save us! Night Monkey, we're stuck!
Peter Parker: What? Oh, no, no. 
Betty Brant: Help us! Help!
Peter Parker: Are you okay?
Quentin Beck: On to Plan B?
Peter Parker: Yeah! We gotta hit him with something he can't absorb!
Quentin Beck: I go left, you go right! Now!
Peter Parker: Okay, shoot him!
Quentin Beck: Yeah!
Quentin Beck: That hurt him. Keep it coming.
Quentin Beck: Spider-Man, keep your distance!
Peter Parker: I'm trying!
Quentin Beck: Can't let him get near the Ferris wheel.
Peter Parker: Okay. I'm on it!
Peter Parker: Whoa, what is that?!
Ned Leeds: Betty! Betty!
Peter Parker: That's it! Nice! Nice! You got him!
Quentin Beck: No, no, no.
Maria Hill: It's too late.
Quentin Beck: Whatever happens I'm glad we met.
Peter Parker: Beck, what are you doing?
Quentin Beck: What I should have done last time.
Peter Parker; Beck, don't do it!
Peter Parker: Beck! Mr. Beck? Oh, thank God.
Betty Brant: I would totally kiss you, but I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Ned Leeds: I mi- I might have a mint.
Maria Hill: So it's over?
Quentin Beck: That was the last of them. 
Nick Fury: But not the last threat we'll ever face. We need to stay vigilant. There's a void in this world for someone like you. Hill and I are going to Europol headquarters in Berlin tomorrow. You should join us.
Quentin Beck: Thank you. I just might take you up on that.
Nick Fury: You got gifts, Parker, but you didn't wanna be here.
Peter Parker: Mr. Fury, I... 
Nick Fury: I'd love to have you in Berlin too. But you got to decide whether you're going to step up or not. Stark chose you. He made you an Avenger. I need that. The world needs that. Maybe Stark was wrong.
[Peter still stands motionless, near crying.]
Nick Fury: Was he? The choice is yours.
Quentin Beck: Let's get a drink.
Peter Parker: I'm not 21.
[Later on, Peter and Beck are sitting in a nice little Prague bar. Peter sips lemonade through a straw, while Quentin enjoys some Czech beer. Seeing his companion's subdued attitude, Mysterio speaks up.]
Quentin Beck: Hey. You gotta celebrate. We did something good tonight.
Peter Parker: Yeah. Fury was right. Tony did a lot for me so I owe it to him, to everybody.
Quentin Beck: Do you?
Peter Parker: Yeah. I mean Mr. Stark gave me the chance to be more. He wanted me to be better than him. And Fury wants me to live up to that. 
Quentin Beck: What do you want?
Peter Parker: What do you mean? 
Quentin Beck: What do you want?
Peter Parker: I don't know. 
Peter Parker: What do you want? You, Peter Parker. Now. I know you're thinking about it. 
Peter Parker: I wanna go on my trip. I want to go back on my trip with my friends. And go to the top of the Eiffel Tower with the girl who I really like and tell her how I feel and... give her a kiss. [Mysterio laughs softly]
Peter Parker: Shut up, man.
Quentin Beck: You're not gonna do that, are you? 
Peter Parker: No, I can't.
Quentin Beck: Why not?
Peter Parker: Because I have too much of a responsibility.
Peter Parker: My God. Thank you so much. 
[ A waitress picks up Parker's glasses from the floor and gives them back to him, speaking in Czech.]
Quentin Beck: What are those? Are those the...? 
Peter Parker: EDITH glasses, yeah.
Quentin Beck: They were just on the floor? Try them on. Let's see how they look on you.
Peter Parker: Yeah? 
Quentin Beck: Yeah. [Peter puts the glasses on]
Peter Parker: I actually really like them.
Quentin Beck: Can I be completely honest with you? 
Peter Parker: Please.
Quentin Beck: They look really stupid. But maybe they have a contact-lens version.
Peter Parker: You try them on.
Quentin Beck: No, come on. 
Peter Parker: Try them on.
Quentin Beck: I don't wanna try them on. 
Peter Parker: Just put them on.
[Beck sighs with fake resignation and tries the glasses on.]
Quentin Beck: What do you think, kid?
[Watching his new mentor with the glasses, Spider-Man is suddenly hit with realization.]
Peter Parker: [faintly] "Next Tony Stark, I trust you." [clearly] "For the next Tony Stark, I trust you."
Quentin Beck: What?
Peter Parker: Mr. Stark left me a message with those glasses: "For the next Tony Stark, I trust you."
Quentin Beck: I'm still not following. How many lemonades have you had?
Peter Parker: He knew every mistake I ever made, okay? So he must've known that I was not ready for something like this.
Quentin Beck: Why would he give it to you?
Peter Parker: Because maybe he didn't trust me to have EDITH, he just trusted me to pick who should. It makes so much more sense. He always knew I would do what's right. And he's not gonna give them to Fury because Fury would give himself EDITH.
Quentin Beck: Aye, you're probably right about that.
Peter Parker: Right, so the world needs the next Iron Man. And it's not gonna be me. I mean, I'm a 16-year-old kid from Queens. It needs to be an adult with some experience and that's good, like Tony Stark, like you.
[Quentin, visibly perplexed, immediately removes the glasses from his face.]
Quentin Beck: No. Peter, come on. No.
[Parker grabs the glasses and activates E.D.I.T.H.]
Peter Parker: EDITH? 
E.D.I.T.H.: Hello, Peter.
Peter Parker: Hi. Yeah... Um, I'd like to transfer your control over to Quentin Beck.
Quentin Beck: Peter, what are you doing? 
Peter Parker: Doing the right thing.
E.D.I.T.H.: Any transfer will require confirmation. 
[Mysterio holds back, evidently not eager to take control of the glasses.]
Quent Beck: Stark gave you the glasses!
Peter Parker: Stark gave me a choice. It's my choice to make, okay? And I'm gonna make it. You're a soldier, a leader. You stopped the Elementals. You saved my life. You saved the world, okay? He'd want you to have them.
[Beck remains silent, now somewhat resigned.]
E.D.I.T.H. Waiting for confirmation.
Peter Parker: Confirm.
[Peter removes the glasses and gives them to Quentin.] 
Peter Parker: Welcome to the Avengers.
[Mysterio, accepting his new responsibility, puts them on.]
Peter Parker: They look good on you. 
Quentin Beck: Thank you. [They shake hands] It's an honor.
Peter Parker: Yeah. Mr. Stark would've really liked you. [He gets up and starts heading to the exit]
Quentin Beck: Where you headed?
Peter Parker: I'm gonna go find MJ. 
Quentin Beck: Good luck, kid. I'll give you a fifty-fifty chance. You're pretty awkward.
Peter Parker: Yeah. See you later, man.
Quentin Beck: See you.
[Peter closes the door and leaves. Seconds after, various decorations, objects and even people start to disappear, vanishing with glimmers of blue light. When it's all done, the bar is near empty. All that remains is the counter, Mysterio, a few random people, some props and drones, which had been projecting the illusions the whole time. The people stare at Mysterio as if they were waiting for a confirmation of some sort.]
Quentin Beck: [smiling] See? That wasn't so hard.
Everybody: YES!
[The mood in the bar lightens absolutely, people screaming with joy and cheering. Beck looks like he just won a lottery. A mischievious theme starts playing.]
Quentin Beck: Somebody get this stupid costume off me! [We see a brief moment of Peter on his way to MJ before the movie cuts back to the bar]
Quentin Beck: Okay, we got EDITH. Get these connected to our system.
The Crew: Toast! Toast! Toast!
Quentin Beck: No, this is a big win, but we still got a lot of work to do.
The Crew: Toast! Toast! Toast! [Mysterio steps on the counter]
The Crew: Yeah!
Quentin Beck: Okay, toasts! Give me that, Doug.[He gets his bottle of beer back] To the man who brought us all together, our former boss, Tony Stark. [The crew lets out a huge "BOOO!"] The jester king. Literally wrapped in wealth and technology that he was unfit to wield. Like the holographic system I designed. A revolutionary breakthrough with limitless applications that Tony turned into a self-therapy machine and renamed...
[Cut to a flashback from an early Captain America: Civil War scene when Tony demonstrates his last moment with his parents via holograms.]
 Tony Stark: ...Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing, or BARF. [The audience laughs, which was NOT present in the original scene, hinting at Beck's distorted perception of reality] Oh, $611 million for my little therapeutic experiment.
[The camera shows Quentin standing behind the scenes, near Tony.]
Quentin Beck: He renamed my life's work "BARF." I told him it was a mistake, that my technology could change the world. And then he fired me. Said I was unstable. To Tony. 
The Crew: To Tony!
Quentin Beck: Next, to William. 
The Crew: William!
[The camera pans onto William Ginter Riva, the main drone programmer. Cue a flashback to Iron Man 1, showing William being yelled at by Obadiah Stane, the Iron Monger.]
Obadiah Stane: Tony Stark was able to build this in a cave! With a box of scraps!
Quentin Beck: The integration of my illusion tech with your weaponized drones was brilliant. Powerful illusions, real damage, worked like a charm. And it's just the beginning.
William Ginter Riva: [raising his glass] Thank you, brother. 
Quentin Beck: To Guterman.
The Crew: Guterman! To Guterman!
[The camera pans onto Gutes Guterman, the story writer.]
Quentin Beck: The story you created of a soldier from another Earth named Quentin fighting space monsters in Europe is totally ridiculous and apparently the kind of thing people will believe right now. I mean, everybody bought it! [Guterman bows his head in gratitude.]
The Crew: Gutes! Guterman!
Quentin Beck: To Victoria. 
The Crew: To Victoria!
[The camera shows Victoria Snow, the EMP generator designer.]
Quentin Beck: Staging electromagnetic pulses at each attack site so Fury's own satellites would confirm our lies? Inspired idea. [Victoria smiles, visibly flattered]
Quentin Beck: To Janice. 
The Crew: Janice!
[The camera shows Janice Lincoln, the information gatherer.]
Quentin Beck: After Tony died, she was the one who discovered that EDITH was being handed over not to us, not to the Defense Department, but to a child.
Janice Lincoln: Thank you. 
The Crew: To Janice!
Quentin Beck: And to the rest of you, Tony Stark is gone. There is a window of opportunity, and someone will step up. But these days, you can be the smartest guy in the room, the most qualified, and no one cares. Unless you're flying around with a cape or shooting lasers from your hands, no one will even listen. Well, I've got a cape and lasers. [The crew members chuckle slightly] With our technology and with EDITH, Mysterio will be the greatest hero on Earth!
The Crew: Yeah!
Quentin Beck: Then everyone will listen! Not to a boozy man-child. 
The Crew: No!
Quentin Beck: Not to a hormonal teenager!
The Crew: No!
Quentin Beck: To me! And to my very wealthy crew. To us. 
The Crew:To us.
Quentin Beck: To Mysterio! 
The Crew: To Mysterio!
Quentin Beck: To Peter Parker. 
The Crew: To Peter Parker!
Quentin Beck: [with slight remorse] Poor kid. Let's get to work.
Ned Leeds: Peter, oh, my God. 
Peter Parker: Hey. Hey.
Ned Leeds: We almost died!
Peter Parker: It's fine. Hey, guess what - I'm done with the mission.
Ned Leeds: Dude, the trip's over. 
Peter Parker: What?
Ned Leeds: There's monsters coming out of the ground everywhere we go. Of course our parents would want us home.
Roger Harrington: Don't put me on hold. Oh, Peter, you're not dead. Oh, my God. Yes, good. Stay here. Don't- Put some clothes on. We're booking flights.
Julius Dell: We came for science, we're leaving because of witches. Welcome to the new Dark Ages!
Peter Parker: What is going on, dude? 
Ned Leeds: We're going home in the morning.
Peter Parker: No. No, no, no. All the Elementals are gone.
Betty Brant: Ned! 
Ned Leeds: Coming, sweetie.
Flash Thompson: Hey, can you guys keep it down? I'm live-streaming.
Peter Parker: Yeah. 
MJ: Hey.
Peter Parker: Hey. 
MJ: Where were you?
Peter Parker: Um, I got lost. 
MJ: We were worried 'bout you.
Peter Parker: Oh.
MJ: Good thing you're back. 
Peter Parker: Yeah.
MJ: So much for Paris, right?
Peter Parker: Would've been fun.
MJ: Yeah. Night. 
Peter Parker: Night. You look ni-
MJ: Oh-
Peter Parker: Hey. 
MJ: Hey.
Peter Parker: Uh- Look, um... I'm not ready for this trip to be over yet, and I kind of want to do something fun that's not on the itinerary or planned or with Mr. Harrington.
MJ: Yes.
Peter Parker: "Yes," like you wanna go?
MJ: Yes.
Peter Parker: Awesome. I'll see you outside in 10 minutes.
MJ: Meet me outside in five minutes.
Peter Parker: Five is good. Okay.
MJ: Okay, bye. 
Peter Parker: Bye.
Betty Brant: Night Monkey, help us! Help! Night Monkey!
Peter Parker: Hey. 
MJ: Hey.
Peter Parker: Where do you wanna go?
MJ: Who cares? 
Peter Parker: Awesome.
MJ: Okay. 
Peter Parker: Let's go.
[Cut to the Charles Bridge. MJ and Peter are wandering, quitely enjoying the night.]
Peter Parker: I'm glad we're doing this. 
MJ: Yeah, me too.
Peter Parker: To see the city a bit.
MJ: Y'know, they used to execute people on this bridge. They would, like...
Peter Parker: Woah...
MJ: ...put them in a basket, and they would drown in the water. Sorry. 
Peter Parker: It's okay. Uh... Look, there's this thing I've been wanting to talk to you about... for a while.
MJ: Yeah?
Peter Parker: It's our last night in Europe, and I had this plan that I wanted to... tell you. I'm just gonna- I'm just gonna tell you. MJ, I- 
MJ: "Am Spider-Man."
Peter Parker: What?
MJ: That's what you were gonna say. That you're Spider-Man.
Peter Parker: No. I'm not Spider-Man.
MJ: I mean, I've been watching you for like, a while now. It's kind of obvious.
Peter Parker: I'm not Spider-Man. I mean, what would make you think that I was Spider-Man?
MJ: Peter, Washington? 
Peter Parker: Yeah?
MJ: The fact that you, like, disappear out of nowhere for no reason.
Peter Parker: No, that was - I was sick. Remember? I had my- the tummy?
MJ: You know Susan Yang thinks you're a male escort?
Peter Parker: What? Of course I'm not a male escort.
MJ: Well then you're Spider-Man. 
Peter Parker: I'm not Spider-Man at all.
MJ: What about tonight? You snuck off, and you fought that thing. I saw you.
Peter Parker: You can't have seen me because I'm not Spider-Man. And also, on the news, it was the Night Monkey.
MJ: The Night Monkey? 
Peter Parker: Yeah. That's what it said on the news, and the news never lies.
MJ: Night Monkey. Okay. 
Peter Parker: What are you doing?
MJ: Well, do the Night Monkey and Spider-Man use the same webs?
Peter Parker: I mean, maybe. Maybe he's a Spider Monkey. Who knows? Were you only watching me because you thought I was Spider-Man?
MJ: Yeah. Why else would I be watching you?
Peter Parker: Doesn't matter. Just thought that maybe -
Peter Parker: The hell was that?!
MJ: I don't know. What is it, some kind of projector or something?
Peter Parker: Yeah, but it's really advanced.
MJ: It... it looked so real. It -
Peter Parker: Yeah, really real.
MJ: Wait, does that mean that... 
Peter Parker: The Elementals are fake? That doesn't make any sense because we were there, right? There was fire and destruction, and... who would do something like that?
MJ: Mysterio.
Peter Parker: I am Spider-Man.... and I've really messed up. 
MJ: Wait. You're being- you're being serious?
Peter Parker: Mhm.
MJ: You're not joking with me? You're like, 100 percent serious? Because it's not funny.
Peter Parker: No, I'm not joking.
MJ: Cause I was, I was only like 67 percent sure.
Peter Parker: MJ... 
MJ: So why- why are you here? Why are-
Peter Parker: MJ...
MJ: -are you on this school trip? 
Peter Parker: MJ! Look, I know you have a lot of questions, but look, we really have to get out of here, okay?
MJ: Okay. Okay. I can't believe I figured it out!
Quentin Beck: You took everything from me!
Quentin Beck: This is for my family! Aargh! AAAAARGH!
Quentin Beck: Pause. Pause.
William Ginter Riva: Sorry.
Quentin Beck: Yeah, can you just fast-forward to the end?
William Ginter Riva: Yep. Stand by.
Quentin Beck: All right, fly, fly, fly, zap, zap, zap. Pause. I'm not in love with this choreography, but it'll do. Kill image. De-cloak drones. All right, weapons.
William Ginter Riva: You want to weaponize? 
Quentin Beck: Yep.
William Ginter Riva: Weapons only. Stand by.
Quentin Beck: Nice. Stop. Something. I don't know what it is. It's something Just dou- You know what? Double the damage and then run it again.
William Ginter Riva: Yeah- you want me to double it up?
Quentin Beck: Yeah. 
William Ginter Riva: All right. Cover your ears.
Quentin Beck: That is good! That's good. We on schedule? 
William Ginter Riva: Oh, yeah. Uploading software hack to EDITH network. With her drones, we'll create an event big enough to cover an entire city.
Quentin Beck: All right, well done. Make sure every drone is weapons-hot. We need maximum damage.
Gutes Guterman: That is gonna cause a lot of casualties. 
Quentin Beck: Oh, yeah. More casualties, more coverage. I gotta cut through the static. London is a beautiful city, and it will suffer, but they can rebuild. I mean, if I'm the next Iron Man, I need to save the world from an Avengers-level threat. But when its new savior descends, all those casualties will be forgotten. Janice, you'll be in position with my quick-change armor for the victory lap?
Janice Lincoln: Of course. Do you wanna try?
Quentin Beck: No, no, that's- what's going on with my hand? Why is that happening?
William Ginter Riva: Oh, one of the drones that came back from the plaza was missing a projector. It's fine.
Quentin Beck: Wait, and you're... You're telling me this now?
William Ginter Riva: It's- it's one drone. The image will be perfect, I promise. That projector is evidence.
Quentin Beck: That projector is evidence. It's going to tell people what we're doing and how we're doing it. I am trying to fool 7 billion people here, including Nick Fury, who happens to be the most paranoid AND most dangerous person on the planet. If he catches on before I've killed him, he will put a bullet in my head. And nobody wants a bullet in their head, right? RIGHT?! William, can you look at me? Pull up EDITH.
E.D.I.T.H.: Hello, Quentin.
Quentin Beck: Hi, honey. I need a level-five search, full-resource protocol for this device. 
E.D.I.T.H.: Magnifying. 
Quentin Beck: There. Search everything going in and out of that building.
E.D.I.T.H.: Located.
Quentin Beck: Shit.
Quentin Beck: You know, William, one day, after I've had to kill Peter Parker because of this, I hope you remember that his blood is on your hands!
Peter Parker: I can't believe I gave Beck those glasses. How could I be that stupid? He's probably spying on me right now or sending a drone to come and kill me.
MJ: You had access to killer drones?
Peter Parker: Yeah, I didn't really want them, especially after I almost killed Brad.
MJ: You almost killed Brad?
Peter Parker: Look, I have to call Mr. Fury and tell him that Beck's a fraud but I think he tapped my phone. 
MJ: So, what are you gonna do?
Peter Parker: I need my suit, and I have to go to Berlin and talk to Mr. Fury in person. Just-
Peter Parker: Oh, Ned. Perfect.
Ned Leeds: he costume looks great... for the costume party... at the prince's castle.
Peter Parker: She knows. I told her.
MJ: He didn't tell me. I figured it out.
Ned Leeds: Oh, that's cool. 
MJ: Like, a long time ago.
Ned Leeds: Oh.
Peter Parker: Look, Mysterio is a fraud. 
Ned Leeds: But he saved me and Betty's lives.
MJ: No,he's been faking the whole thing with illusion tech.
Peter Parker: Yeah, he's using these, like, hologram projectors.
Ned Leeds: Woah... that's, crazy.
MJ: Yeah.
Ned Leeds: So you guys were like, working the case together or what?
MJ: It's been mostly me.
Peter Parker: Look, Ned, I need you to call May, get her to call Mr. Harrington, say she wanted me to stay with family in Berlin until this all blows over, okay?
Ned Leeds: Got it. Easy.
MJ: Wow, you guys lie with such ease.
Peter Parker: I gotta go. 
MJ: Wait, wait, wait. The projector. You're gonna need this.
Peter Parker: Don't tell anyone about this, okay? Anyone who knows is in danger.
Ned Leeds: So you know too. It's cool. I've known first, and I've known longer, but it's not a competition.
Peter Parker: Excuse me. Do you know where?... 
German Woman: Nacht Monkey!
Peter Parker: No, wait, I didn't... Oh, man.
Nick Fury: Get in.
Peter Parker: Mr. Fury- 
Nick Fury: You've got a lot of explaining to do.
Peter Parker: No, no, no, listen-
Nick Fury: Wait until we're secure.
Peter Parker: Okay.
Peter Parker: Right.
Nick Fury: So is there anything you want to tell us about your girlfriend?
Maria Hill: He's talking about EDITH.
Peter Parker: I know I made a mistake, and I'm sorry, but he is not who you think he is. Beck is a liar. Mysterio, the Elementals, it's all fake. He has some sort of illusion tech. That's how he tricked you and tricked me into giving him EDITH.
Peter Parker: It's a projector. I pulled it off the fire monster in Prague.
Nick Fury: So all that death and destruction we witnessed was created by this?
Peter Parker: No, not just this. I think he's using drones.
Nick Fury: Well, if this is true, then Beck's very dangerous and we need to be smart. Who else did you tell about this? Parker? Parker!
Maria Hill: What's wrong? 
Peter Parker: It's Beck. He's here.
Nick Fury: What? Hill?
Peter Parker: No, it's just an illu- [a bullet pierces through a wall, staggers Peter and hits Nick] Fury!
Quentin Beck: Wow, Peter, wow. I thought we were close. Fury always had to die, but not you.
Peter Parker: Stop hiding, Beck!
Quentin Beck: I tried to help you walk away. Now you're making me do this.
Quentin Beck: You told me, you were just a kid. You told me, you wanted to run after that girl!
MJ: Help me! 
Peter Parker: MJ! Oh, God!
MJ: Peter, what's going on? 
Peter Parker: I know this isn't real.
Quentin Beck: Do you, though?
Peter Parker: MJ! MJ!
Quentin Beck:I don't think you know what's real, Peter. You need to WAKE UP!
Quentin Beck: I mean, look at yourself.
Quentin Beck:You are just a scared little kid in a sweat suit.
Quentin Beck: I created Mysterio to give the world someone to believe in. I control the truth. Mysterio is THE TRUTH! If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive. Deep down, you know I'm right. You made your choice. And all you had to do was step aside. And now you have-
Peter Parker: Fury.
Nick Fury: Beck's people are trying to find everyone who could expose him. Who'd you tell? 
Peter Parker: Um-
Nick Fury: I know you told someone..,
Peter Parker: Uh...
Nick Fury: ...so just tell me.
Peter Parker: Okay. Who did you tell? Who else did you tell?! 
Peter Parker: O-okay, just Ned and MJ from my class. Maybe Ned told his girlfriend Betty, but that's it.
Peter Parker: What?
Nick Fury: You are so gullible.
Peter Parker: What?
Nick Fury: Oh, you're smart as a whip. Just a [Mysterio voice] sucker.
Quentin Beck: And now all your friends have to die. 
Peter Parker: Oh my God!
Quentin Beck: It's easy to fool people when they're already fooling themselves. But for what it's worth, Peter, I really am sorry.
Quentin Beck: EDITH. 
E.D.I.T.H.: Yes, Quentin.
Peter Parker: Access files to Peter Parker's class trip. I need them to fly home from London.
Dutchman #1: Hi. 
Peter Parker: Where am I?
Dutchman #2: Municipal holding facility.
Dutchman #1: They said they found you unconscious at the train yard. Very dangerous.
Dutchman #3: And we gave you the shirt because you seemed a bit cold.
Peter Parker: Thanks. You guys are nice. You speak really good English.
The Dutchmen: Welcome to the Netherlands.
Peter Parker: I'm in the Netherlands right now? 
Dutchman #2: Yep.
Peter Parker: Bye. Guard!
Dutchman #1: The guard is on a break. Probably talking to his wife.
Dutchman #2: Yeah, she's pregnant. 
Dutchman #3: Oh, yeah? [They start speaking Dutch]
Guard: Yeah. Yeah. Night Monkey. Yeah. You guys okay?
Peter Parker: Excuse me, sir? 
Dutchman #4: Yeah?
Peter Parker: Could I borrow your phone? 
Dutchman #4: Yeah.
Peter Parker: Everyone is so nice here.
Peter Parker: Okay. Okay. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Hey, hey I messed up. I need a I need a ride. Where am I? Where am I, sir?
Dutchman #4: It's Broek op Langedijk.
Peter Parker: Hang on. Could you say that into there?
Dutchman #4: Hi. It's Broek op Langedijk here. Yeah, no problem.
Peter Parker: Thanks. Did you get that?
Happy Hogan: Peter? Are you okay?
Peter Parker: Happy, is that you? 
Happy Hogan: Is it me? Yeah, of course it's me.
Peter Parker: Stop! Tell me something only you would know!
Happy Hogan: Only I would know... Uh, you.. remember when we went to Germany? You pay-per-viewed a video in your room? They didn't list the titles, but I could tell by the price it was an adult film at the front desk. And you didn't know how I knew- 
Peter Parker: Okay, okay, fine! It's you, it's you, it's you. Stop. It's so good to see you.
Happy Hogan: Peter, you'll have to tell me what the hell is going on here.
[Inside the airplane, Happy is preparing to sew Peter's wounds.]
Happy Hogan: Okay, hold still. There we go.
Peter Parker: Ouch.
Happy Hogan: I thought you had super strength. It still hurts. Happy, come on. 
Happy Hogan: All right, relax. Just a few more. There we go. 
Peter Parker: Oh, my God, Happy.
Happy Hogan: Relax. 
Peter Parker: Don't tell me to relax, Happy! How can I relax when I messed up so bad?! I trusted Beck. Right? I thought he was my friend. I gave him the only thing Mr. Stark left for me, and now he's gonna kill my friends and half of Europe, so please do not tell me to relax. I'm sorry, Happy. I'm sorry. I shouldn't shout. I just really miss him.
Happy Hogan: Yeah, I miss him too.
Peter Parker: Everywhere I go I see his face. And the whole world is asking who's gonna be the next Iron Man and I don't know if that's me, Happy. I'm not Iron Man.
Happy Hogan: You're not Iron Man. You're never gonna be Iron Man. Nobody could live up to Tony. Not even Tony. Tony was my best friend. And he was a mess. [Peter suddenly looks up] He second-guessed everything he did. He was all over the place.The one thing that he did that he didn't second-guess was picking you. I don't think Tony would have done what he did if he didn't know that you were gonna be here after he was gone. Now, your friends are in trouble, you're all alone, your tech is missing. What are you gonna do about it?
Peter Parker: I'm gonna kick his ass.
Happy Hogan: But I mean, I mean, I mean right now. Like, specifically, what are we gonna do? Because we've been hovering over a tulip field for the last 15 minutes.
Peter Parker: Right. Um, I can't call my friends because he's tracking their phones. Uh- give me your phone.
Happy Hogan: My- my cell phone? 
Peter Parker: Yeah.
Happy Hogan: Okay. Here.
Peter Parker: [Using Happy's phone] What's your password?
Happy Hogan: "Password".
Peter Parker: No, what is your password?
Happy Hogan: "Password", the word-spell that-"password".
Peter Parker: You're the head of security and your password is "password"?
Happy Hogan: I– I don't feel good about it either.
Flash Thompson: Hello, governor. Cup of tea for you? I'm gonna be in London soon.
Peter Parker: They're in London. 
London, okay.
Peter Parker: Yeah, I need a suit.
Happy Hogan: Suit? [Gives a knowing smile and goes to the cockpit, pressing a button. The back of the jet opens up to reveal a workshop. Peter goes in, puts his hand on the scanner and the console activates]
Peter Parker: [Both surprised and initially aprehensive] Okay, um– bring up everything you have on Spider-Man. [Console shows each of the holograms of different Spider-suit designs. Peter opens one of the secondary files] Yeah, open that. Okay, no, no, no– [Scrolling through different weapons as Happy proudly looks on. Peter opens a holo of a web-shooter and puts his hand through it, causing the holo to attach to his arm. Peter notices Happy looking at him] What?
Happy Hogan: Nothing. You take care of the suit, I'll take care of the music. [Goes back to the cockpit and turns on "Back In Black" by AC/DC]
Peter Parker: Oh, I love Led Zeppelin!
Peter Parker: Okay, can you pull up my web-shooters? Isolate the Taser webs, and reconfigure and boost the voltage to a factor of 25 percent, and give me complete manual control over detonation.
Nick Fury: I thought Kree having sleeper cells was top secret information.
Maria Hill: Nick, satellites are picking up an EM pulse.
Nick Fury: I thought that was over. 
Maria Hill: It's the biggest one yet.
Nick Fury: Where? 
Maria Hill: London.
Roger Harrington: Okay, the company set up a city tour, and then we'll grab a bite and head to the airport.
Brad Davis: Is no one else going to acknowledge how crazy this is?
Julius Dell: Oh, yeah, I get it. There's been nothing scientific about this science tour at all.
Brad Davis: No, I'm talking about Peter. Has no one noticed how shady he is? Because I saw him in the back room of a rest stop with some woman in his underwear, and he's always sneaking away, like back at the opera, huh? Now he's suddenly off the trip, with his family in Berlin?! Is no one else interested in the truth?
MJ: "The very concept of objective truth is fading out of the world."
Brad Davis: George Orwell. Thank you, MJ. 
MJ: Yeah, well, since Peter's not really here to tell his truth, what about you, Brad? Why take pictures of people in the bathroom?
Flash Thompson: Yeah, dude, what's that about?
Brad Davis: No, no, no, it wasn't like that. It was- uh, I was trying to take a- 
Roger Harrington: Let's just put all this craziness behind us and have a nice, peaceful afternoon. "Sounds great, Mr. Harrington," said the class. Okay.
Julius Dell: I'm gonna be a cool teacher right now. You gotta stop doing that. Okay? It is weird. No more photos in the bathroom. Urinal or stalls. Okay? 
Roger Harrington: Look at this, guys.
Gutes Guterman: Mr. Harrington, this is your bus.
Roger Harrington: We got a bus all to ourselves. 
Gutes Guterman: Nice to see you all. Come along. I'll get this, yeah? Why not? 
Roger Harrington: Thank you.
Gutes Guterman: Yeah. Thank you, brother.
Roger Harrington: All right.
Gutes Guterman: I have the kids.
Quentin Beck: I got here as fast as I could. I did a full perimeter sweep. Nothing.
Nick Fury: Damn it.
Maria Hill: Pulse is spiking.
Quentin Beck: I'll take another look. 
Nick Fury: Soon as you see something, report. You're all we've got, Beck.
Quentin Beck: If this is what I fear, then God help us, Fury. God help us all. Okay, people, no Avengers coming. Good to go. William, launch the drones. 
William Ginter Riva: Copy that, brother. Drones are entering the atmosphere weapons-hot.
Quentin Beck: Excellent. Janice? 
Janice Lincoln: I'm still working on the cape.
Quentin Beck: You gotta get those wrinkles out. In a few hours I could be literally shaking hands with the queen. Guterman? 
Gutes Guterman: Almost in position.
Quentin Beck: Okay. Hit it, Victoria. 
Victoria Snow: Increasing pulse.
Maria Hill: Whatever this thing is, it's 100 times bigger than the previous ones.
Quentin Beck: EDITH?
E.D.I.T.H.: Yes, Quentin.
Quentin Beck: Show me my loose ends. Once the show's going, execute the kill order on my command.
E.D.I.T.H.: Copy. 
Quentin Beck: All right. Start the show. Let's save the world, people.
MJ: I don't like this. Something's definitely up.
Ned Leeds: You're an FOS now. "Friend of Spider-Man." And you have to remember, just stay calm.
MJ: That doesn't look good.
Ned Leeds: But it's fake, there's nothing to worry about.
Gutes Guterman: And the kids are in the kill zone.
Quentin Beck: Great work, Guterman.
Nick Fury: What? 
Happy Hogan: Uh, Happy here, Happy Hogan here.
Nick Fury: I know. What do you want? 
Happy Hogan: Over at Mr. Stark's, going through his belongings. Apparently, there was a surfboard you left behind. 
Nick Fury: What?
Happy Hogan: People there said they didn't think Nick Fury was a surfer, but I said: "Appearances can be deceiving." 
Nick Fury: It's not mine. And don't ever call this number again.
Happy Hogan: Fury's got the coded message. Your friends are at the Tower Bridge.
Peter Parker: Okay.
Happy Hogan: Your boy called it London Bridge, but I figured it out. I'm gonna go scoop them up, okay? 
Peter Parker: Yeah.
Happy Hogan: We're close. 
Peter Parker: We're close.
Happy Hogan: How's the suit coming? 
Peter Parker: Almost done.
Happy Hogan: Good. 
Peter Parker: Wait, wait, whoa, whoa. Before you go if something happens to me, could you please give this to MJ?
Happy Hogan: You're gonna make it back. You'll give it to her yourself. Okay? You got this. 
Peter Parker: I got this.
Happy Hogan: Now walk me through it. 
Peter Parker: I know it's illusion tech, right? All I have to do is get on the inside of the illusion, then I can take it down, find him, and he's just a guy, so I can take EDITH right back.
Happy Hogan: Right, but last time, you got hit by a train.
Peter Parker: True, but this time.. How do I explain this? Uh... I have a sixth sense.
Happy Hogan: The Peter-tingle. That's what you're talking about, right? It's not working, though. I heard it wasn't working right now. Is it? 
Peter Parker: It is working. Well, I don- I don't know if it's working 
Happy: Good. Okay, so you got Peter-tingle. That's the plan. I'm gonna go get your friends. You get that Peter-tingle back online. 
Peter Parker: I got this, I got this.
Quentin Beck: Cue the lightning. 
William Ginter Riva: Cuing lightning.
Roger Harrington: Sir, is it still safe on the top, or should we all come down? Oh my God. Oh my.
Julius Dell: What did the bus driver say?! 
Roger Harrington: No, the bus driver's gone!
Students: What?! Where?!
Roger Harrington: It's okay. Mr. Dell and I have it under control!
Julius Dell: Oh, no! Don't drag me into this, Roger! 
Roger Harrington: I'm doing my best, Julius! Look- 
Julius Dell: Oh, the witches are back!
Roger Harrington: Oh my God, GET OFF THE BUS!
Roger Harrington: Okay. Okay, follow me, kids! Come on, let's go!
Quentin Beck: Now, that is an Avengers-level threat.
Roger Harrington: This way. This way!Okay. Okay. 
Betty Brant: Oh, my God!
MJ: Flash! 
Julius Dell: Follow that cursed hand.
Roger Harrington: This way, kids! Follow me!
Ned Leeds: It's not real, it's not real! 
MJ: It looks pretty real to me!
Roger Harrington: Follow me, kids!
Julius Dell: Earth, wind, fire, water. Oh, no. They joined forces like the Power Rangers.
Roger Harrington: You're thinking of Voltron. 
Julius Dell: Who?
Roger Harrigton: Voltron! You're thinking of Voltron!
Brad Davis: Hey, look, it's Mysterio! He's gonna save us!
MJ: Wait if Mysterio knows we know... 
Ned Leeds: ...Then we're in danger. 
MJ: Yeah, and so are they. We should go.
Julius Dell: Kill that witch!
Quentin Beck: This is for my family! You should get somewhere safe, Fury. I don't see this ending well.
Nick Fury: I appreciate your concern, but I never leave my men behind.
Happy Hogan: All right, comms check. Can you hear me, kid?
Peter Parker: Yeah, I can. It's just a little loud out here. 
Happy Hogan: I like the new suit.
Peter Parker: Thanks. 
Happy Hogan: Whoa, Peter, you sure that's not real?
Peter Parker: Yeah, it's just 100 times bigger than I expected.
Happy Hogan: Still the play?
Peter Parker: Uh-huh. We need to get high enough so Beck doesn't see me coming.
Happy Hogan: Copy. Stay sticky.
Peter Parker: Hey, Happy. 
Happy Hogan: Yeah, kid. What is it?
Peter Parker: We need to have a serious conversation about you and my AAUNT!
Nick Fury: Beck, report!
Quentin Beck: Guterman, I need a response. Something quick and decisive.
Gutes Guterman: "It's all the Elementals. They're merged into something..." 
Quentin Beck: ...into something else. Something more powerful. It's drawing energy from the Earth's core.
Nick Fury: See, now, that's some bullshit.
Maria Hill: Is that?...
Nick Fury: Be ready for anything.
Maria Hill: Yeah.
Peter Parker: It's not real, it's not real, it's not real!
Peter Parker: Wooow... That's awesome.
Quentin Beck: William, I've got drones breaking formation.
William Ginter Riva: Maybe they hit a flock of birds. You're fine.
Quentin Beck: Well, I wanna see what's happening there. Taking manual control.
William Ginter Riva: Do you see anything?
Quentin Beck: Yeah. And I'm gonna kill him.
Peter Parker: I hope this works!
Nick Fury: You got me?
Maria Hill: I got ya.
William Ginter Riva: Boss, the illusion is coming apart.
Peter Parker: I see you.
Quentin Beck: EDITH, give some me protection. 
E.D.I.T.H.: Copy.
Quentin Beck: Kill it, just kill the illusion. Kill it. 
William Ginter Riva: I'm not gonna kill it. They'll see!
Quentin Beck: They'll see what I want them to SEE!
Janice Lincoln: : Do you still need the cape? 
Quentin Beck: Yes, Janice. I still need the cape. 
William Ginter Riva: Done.
Quentin Beck: Now William, render my illusion suit. 
William Ginter Riva: All right, hang on.
Flash Thompson: The monster was full of drones! It's crazy!
Happy Hogan: There you are. Easy.
Quentin Beck: Who the hell is that?
Happy Hogan: Ned! 
Ned Leeds: Happy!
I gotta get you guys out of here! Get on the jet!
MJ:Who are you? 
Happy Hogan: I work with Spider-Man, okay?! Get on that jet! 
Flash Thompson: You work for Spider-Man?
Happy Hogan: I work with Spider-Man, not for Spider-Man!
Happy Hogan: New plan. Into the Tower. 
Students: What?
Peter Parker: Happy, are you okay? 
Happy Hogan:Yeah, we're okay. Just go get Beck.
Quentin Beck: EDITH, target Spider-Man. 
E.D.I.T.H.: Copy.
Quentin Beck: I'll just kill the kids myself.
Quentin Beck: There you are.
Happy Hogan: Into the Crown Jewels vault! Yeah, go, go, go! 
MJ: Come on.
Happy Hogan: Go! Into the vault! The walls are 8 feet thick. Go into the vault!
MJ: What? 
Happy Hogan: Into the vault. Go!
Happy Hogan: Take cover!
MJ: Okay.
MJ: Yeah?
Happy Hogan: No. No.
Quentin Beck: I see you.
Happy Hogan: Get that thing out! Go!
Happy Hogan: How does Cap do that?!
Happy, say something, please, to let me know you're alive!
I'm here. I'm here. 
Peter Parker: Oh, Happy, thank God.
Happy Hogan: I bought us some time. But not much. 
Peter Parker: I'm trying to get to Beck, but I can't shake these drones!
Quentin Beck: Gotcha.
Peter Parker: Goin' up!
Quentin Beck: Finally. Hey, William, how we doing? 
William Ginter Riva: Illusion almost back up. I don't know how you're gonna spin this.
Peter Parker: Oh, great. No webs.
Ned Leeds: Are we gonna die? 
Happy Hogan: Nobody dies on my watch.
Ned Leeds: I wasted my life playing video games, and we're gonna die.
Betty Brant: I have a fake ID, and I've never even used it.
Flash Thompson: I post stupid videos daily for people to like me!
Happy Hogan:Hey! If it wasn't for those stupid videos, Spider-Man would've never found you.
Flash Thompson: Spider-Man? Spider-Man follows me? I saved us, guys!
MJ: If you saved us, why are we about to die?!
Ned Leeds and Betty Brant: MJ! Stop it!
MJ: I'm sorry, okay?! I'm obsessed with telling the truth even if it hurts people's feelings!
Happy Hogan: I'm in love with Spider-Man's aunt. [Everybody looks at him, dumbfounded] We're sharing, right?
Peter Parker: Your lies are over, Beck.
Quentin Beck: Eh... This certainly isn't ideal, but I have contingencies. EDITH?
Peter Parker: Just give me the glasses.
Quentin Beck: You want these? [A unit of drones gathers around him] Come and get them.
Peter Parker: Come on, Peter-tingle.
Quentin Beck: Why aren't these drones firing? 
E.D.I.T.H.: You're in the strike zone. The chance of getting hit is- 
Quentin Beck: NO! FIRE! ALL! THE DRONES! NOOOOW!
Peter Parker: Beck! Beck. You lied to me. I trusted you. 
Quentin Beck: I know. That's the most disappointing part. You're a good person, Peter. Such a weakness. Stark was right. You do deserve them.
Peter Parker: You can't trick me anymore.
Peter Parker: EDITH, turn off the drones.
E.D.I.T.H.: Biometric scan complete. Welcome back, Peter. Execute all cancellation protocols? 
Peter Parker: Just... do it. Execute them all!
E.D.I.T.H.: Confirmed.
Happy Hogan: Give me the spear.
Ned Leeds: That's a halberd.
Peter Parker: Thank you. How could you do all of this? 
Quentin Beck: You'll see, Peter. People, they do believe. And nowadays they'll believe anything.
Peter Parker: Is he... Is this real?
E.D.I.T.H.: All illusions are down, Peter.
Flash Thompson: Oh-yeah!
Happy Hogan: Hey, where you going?
Peter Parker: MJ. Hey.
MJ: Hey.
Peter Parker: Hey.
MJ: Are you okay? 
Peter Parker: I'm okay. You okay?
MJ: Yeah. Yeah. 
Peter Parker: Is everybody else okay?
MJ: Yeah, everyone's okay.
Peter Parker: What happened? 
MJ: T- th- There was just the drones, and they were following us, and then they just stopped. Was that you? 
Peter Parker: Yeah.
MJ: Did you get him?
Peter Parker: Yeah. 
MJ: Well, I brought that. In case you needed some help.
Peter Parker: Thanks.
MJ: Anyway, there was a sweaty guy in the tower with us. I think he works for you or something. He- he gave me this. 
Peter Parker: No. No. Oh, MJ, I'm so sorry. I had this plan, this stupid plan. 
MJ: Peter.
Peter Parker: I wrote it down, I was gonna buy you this and give it to you in Paris at the top... ...and you kissed me. What? What? 
MJ: Yeah. I don't really have much luck when it comes to getting close to people. So I lied... I wasn't just watching you because I thought you were... Spider-Man.
Peter Parker: Heh...That's great.
MJ: Black dahlia, like...
MJ and Peter Parker: The murder.
MJ: Good.
Peter Parker: Yeah. Sorry it's broken.
MJ: I actually like it better broken.
Peter Parker: I really like you.
MJ: I really like you too.
MJ: Okay. I should, uh.. I should probably get back to the class.
Peter Parker: I'll go and... yeah. I don't know. 
MJ: Just in case.
Happy Hogan: Yeah, no. No, May, you're right. He did great. He was strong. Yeah. I'm glad he stayed too. I gotta go. Well I'm glad you're alive. I guess the coded message worked. 
Nick Fury: "Appearances can be deceiving." Heh. I'm surprised you didn't just wink in the camera.
Happy Hogan: It worked.
Nick Fury: Only because I had serious doubts about Beck from the beginning.
Maria Hill: Not true. He had zero doubts.
Nick Fury: Where's Parker?
Happy Hogan: He's with a girl.
Nick Fury: I need to speak with him.
Happy Hogan: He'll call you. 
Nick Fury: He'll c-? [He bursts into abrupt laughter] Okay. Great.Well, he better. Or it's your ass. And don't even think about ghosting me.
Peter Parker: Are you sure no one else has figured it out?
MJ: Yeah, Imean, it's not like anybody really pays attention to you.
Peter Parker: Ouch.
MJ: Except for me.
Peter Parker: Thanks.
MJ: Don't be late. 
Peter Parker: I won't. See you later.
Betty Brant: You guys are so cute. 
Peter Parker: Thanks. I- I was thinking we should all, I don't know, like, goon a double date or something.
Ned Leeds and Betty Brant: Oh, we broke up. 
Peter Parker: No. What? Why?
Ned Leeds: Men and women grow apart, but the journey they share together will always be a part of them.
Betty Brant: You are so wise. 
Ned Leeds: Thank you.
Flash Thompson: Hello, Gerald. Could Mother not make it?
Peter Parker: May! 
May Parker: I promise you- Oh, he's here! Don't give me a ticket. Oh,I'm so glad you're okay.
Peter Parker: No, for real, I'm good. I'm actually really fine.
May Parker: Let's go. Where are your bags? Oh, right. They got blown up. 
Peter Parker: Yeah.
May Parker: I got you some hot buttered bagels. 
Peter Parker: Thank you so much.
May Parker: I know my boy.
Peter Parker: I kept my identity pretty guarded this past couple years. I faced a lot of deception.And I'm tired of the lies. So it's time for the truth to be out there. Are you dating?
Happy Hogan: Yes. 
May Parker: Not really.
Happy Hogan: What? 
May Parker: Well... 
Happy Hogan: I think-
May Parker: ...Summer fling.
Happy Hogan: Yes, that evolves and grows like any other.
May Parker: I still don't know where it's going to go. 
Happy Hogan: Open to wherever it might lead.
May Parker: Anywhere. On or off. 
Happy Hogan: To share it with people. 
May Parker: We'll always be friends, no matter what. 
Peter Parker: I'm gonna go because I've got a date. 
Happy Hogan: ....because we all are interconnected.
Peter Parker: Bye. 
May Parker: We are.
Peter Parker: Sorry!
Peter Parker: Hey. Sorry I'm late. 
MJ: Hey. It's fine. 
Peter Parker: You ready?
MJ: Yeah. 
Peter Parker: You're gonna love this.
MJ: Okay! Okay! Okay. Okay. 
Peter Parker: You ready?
MJ: Yeah. I'm just not gonna watch. I'm not gonna watch. I should stop looking. I'm gonna stop looking!
[Mid credits scene:]
MJ: Okay. You can put me down now! You can put me down now!
Peter Parker: You okay?
MJ: Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Let's just... never, never doing that again. I'm never doing that again. 
Peter Parker: Okay. Uh, well, I should probably get out of here.
MJ: Be safe. 
Peter Parker: See you later.
News Anchor: This is breaking news.
Pat Kiernan: We come to you now with revelations about last week's attack in London. An anonymous source provided this video. It shows Quentin Beck, aka, Mysterio, moments before his death. A warning: You may find this video disturbing.
[Cut to altered footage of the Tower Bridge battle.]
Quentin Beck: I managed to send the Elemental back through the dimensional rift, but I don't think I'm gonna make it off this bridge alive. Spider-Man attacked me for some reason! He has an army of weaponized drones, Stark technology. He's saying he's the only one who's gonna be the new Iron Man, no one else!
E.D.I.T.H.: Are you sure you want to commence the drone attack? There will be significant casualties.
Peter Parker: Do it. Execute them all.
[Cut to voice-over as Peter and MJ watch.]
Pat Kiernan: This shocking video was released earlier today on the controversial news website, 'TheDailyBugle.net.'
[Cut to J. Jonah Jameson news screen.]
J. Jonah Jameson: There you have it, folks: Conclusive proof that Spider-Man was responsible for the brutal murder of Mysterio, an inter-dimensional warrior who gave his life to protect our planet, and who will, no doubt, go down in history as the greatest superhero of all time. But that's not all, folks. Here's the real blockbuster. Brace yourselves, you might wanna sit down.
[Cut back to altered footage of the Tower Bridge battle.]
Quentin Beck: Spider-Man's real– Spider-Man's real name is– Spider-Man's name is Peter Parker!
[Peter's picture appears on screen. Cut to Peter.]
Peter Parker: [Horrified and angry] What the fu...?!
:[Post-credits scene. Nick Fury and Maria Hill are driving. Nick Fury and Maria Hill smile at each other before they transform into the Skrulls Talos and Soren.]
:Soren: You gotta tell him.
:Talos: It was fine. The little boy handled it. We helped.
:Soren: Talos.
:Talos: Come off it. How was I supposed to know that the whole thing was fake? (Soren scoffs) I mean, that was all very, very convincing, you know? The performances, the illusion, that costume, the craftsmanship in that. I mean, this is just embarrassing for a shapeshifter. Fine.
:[Talos picks up his smartphone and uses it to call Nick Fury.]
:Talos: Hey there. I hope your mission is going well. We gave the glasses to Parker about a week ago, like you said. And, uh, it was very touching, you know? Really, really quite touching.
:Soren: Talos.
:Talos: Um, and, uh, you know, shortly after that, everything kind of went off the rails, and so we need you to come back. Because everyone kept asking me where the Avengers are, and I don't know what to say to that. So you're lucky that Spider-Man won–
:[On a Skrull spaceship, the real Fury hangs up on Talos, puts his smartphone on the table, gets up, and leaves the room where a hologram of a beach is being projected.]
:The real Fury: Everybody back to work! Who's got my shoes?
Category:Transcripts
Category:Columbia Pictures Transcripts