Weekly Sack o' Reports: 12th Sept to 18th Sept

There is an envelope bearing the clan seal waiting for you in your mailbox. Upon opening it you find some sheets of parchment, each full of carefully handwritten Orcish
To be read from beginning to end by all members of Dagger and Totem; here follows a chronicle of the clan's activities in the past week. Future editions of this Sack O' Reports will include unedited excerpts of reports sent to me, Sergeant Hodges, by fellow sergeants and grunts. Keep this in mind while scribing the reports of your missions, lest you become another "What this mean?"
Sunday the 12th of September
A small clan force led by yours truly attacked and laid ruin to the human trapper settlement of Silverbrook. Unsubstantiated claims were made by Grunts Remiya and Segolia that some of our adversaries transformed into Worgen while engaged in combat. It hardly matters now, as they all lie dead. Overall a successful mission: the residents of Silverbrook failed to put up a good fight, and it was all over quickly, with little in the way of spectacle.
Later, still in Northrend, I was approached by the Forsaken of Venomspite for a potentially lucrative operation. One of the "hibernation caverns" for Vrykul on the journey to becoming Frost Vrykul had been discovered, and Dagger and Totem was asked to pay it a visit, awaken the still dormant Vrykul, and trick them into believing that we were servants of the Lich King. They had supposedly been in there for nigh on a year, and so were still blissfully unaware that their Death God was slain. I elected to take only undead members of the clan - and that ludicrous elf called Nate - with me. It turned out only the aforementioned Nate and Grunt Remiya were available, but we were soon joined by a Forgotten Shadow Priestess called Cantessa; a contact sent from Venomspite. Upon arriving at this cavern, ready to wake the sleeping Vrykul, we discovered a large number of huge worms had decided to move in. Much to our dismay, they had destroyed many of the ice-blocks that held the transforming Vrykul. Nevertheless, they were some left unharmed, and we awakened the half-giants inside. I've no idea about the biology behind Frost Vrykul, but it appears that the speed of their transition from Flesh to Frost varies from one to another. Some were covered in icicles and struggled to be animate at all, and others looked decidedly premature.
In any case, I had to play the role of a mindless Scourge ghoul minion, while Cantessa was in the guise of a Cultist of the Damned, and Remiya and Nate were our delightful death knights in charge. The Vrykul didn't doubt us, though it seems that their original purpose was to march upon the Ruby Dragonshrine and destroy it. We diverted them from this goal, and successfully worked them up into a fury at the thought of their brothers being mauled by the worms. They were then angrily ordered by Remiya to take the cavern completely, which they did with the frantic energy of children aiming to please their new tutors. Still not aware that we were not Scourge, Remiya then ordered them to fortify the cavern, and remain where they were. It remains to be seen if they can be subtly brought around to the Horde's ways, and even then, if they will merely perform the function of sword fodder. We won't be able to move them far out of their cavern if they aren't to discover our deception, however. We need to continue checking up on them, and maintain a watch over the cavern, too, in case any enterprising adventurers discover what lies inside.
Monday the 13th of September
Sergeant Watrus was at the helm of a mission in Feralas. The brief outline was that Grimtotem from all across Kalimdor - from Stonetalon to Dustwallow - were known to be converging upon a small village near Camp Mojache in Feralas. Normally this would call for a grassroots military operation, but there was a complication: the sister (and by this I mean actual sister by blood, not clan-speak for "comrade") of an influential Tauren in Thunder Bluff was also there, having joined up with the Grimtotem several weeks previous. She was said to be a dyed-in-the-wool activist, but she also had a daughter that needed caring for, whom she had left behind. The clan was asked to try to bring this particular tauren back to Thunder Bluff, and not end her like the others.
All very exciting and intriguing. A number of Grunts, including Kruss Cragshot, Ryndra Arathane and Tugua responded to Sergeant Watrus's call and were present and correct at Camp Mojache. The Stone Guard Kergo also showed his face. The troops encountered two unaffiliated tauren druids, a father and son, who were heading to the same village, but for different reasons: they were aiming to free the Sprite Darters from a large cage on the edge of the village (if anyone could supply me with a picture of what a Sprite Darter is, I would be most grateful). These two tauren joined up with the cause, with our lot promising to help out with their problem.
The village was split up into two segments; and it was the one that contained the cage that was the first target of assault. Care was made to avoid killing the tauren who was of a different fur colour to the rest of our enemies, and a post-scrap search of bodies revealed no signs that the mother tauren had been killed. With the release of the Sprite Darters the other half of the village was approached, and reports indicate that this was when the clan heard the voice of our friend the female tauren. She was barking out a rousing (if you're a Grimtotem) speech that suggested that there was a plot against the High Chieftain Cairne Bloodhoof, and that the indecisiveness shown by the druid leaders of Thunder Bluff about what path of druidism belonged to the tauren was evidence that the tauren as a people were hampered by "oohing and arrring". It was decided that the clan would bomb the hut sky-high. Our druid Tugua was sent to inspect the interior, and saw a few dozen Grimtotem sat down listening to the words of the woman herself. Tugua, with the help of the other two druids Watrus's team had invited along, were able to plant three bombs on each side of the hut, and escape out of the radius of the explosion.
All inside were killed, with the exception of one blackened treant figure that was furiously healing itself back into shape. The clan started pursuit and quickly caught up with it, and lo, it turned out to be our friend the female tauren. She proceeded to tell a pack of lies about how she was actually leading the Grimtotem away from being viable threats, and tricking them down avenues that wouldn't affect Thunder Bluff at all. Mentioning her child provoked an incoherent rage out of her which revealed the last five minutes to be utter fabrication, at which point the clan rightfully killed her.
It might be best to look into this plot to do away with the High Chieftain, although from what I can gather, the mastermind of the scheme was this enigmatic tauren.
What was her name, by the way?
Tuesday the 14th of September
Grunt Ciite Stonemane's popular suggestion that the clan could benefit from claiming Vrykul turrets for usage in Gorik's Hammer was put into action on Tuesday, with Sergeant Watrus again leading a squad, comprised of the former Stone Guard and Grunts Kaltarr, Remiya and Kruss, onto the Howling Fjord's cliffs, to steal us some heavy-duty weaponry. Reports sent to me claim that a single turret was retrieved, instead of the initially planned three. The Vrykul were obviously reluctant to part with their cherished machinery, and launched a strong but ultimately futile counter-attack. All the troops on this mission made it out unscathed. The clan's engineers will continue to analyse the looted turret, and perhaps the reverse-engineering of it can begin this week. The capture of other turrets should remain a priority, if we are to truly make Gorik's Hammer impregnable.
Wednesday the 15th of September
The clan extended its hand of friendship to the Stone Axe Clan on Wednesday, when I personally led Sergeant Shra and Grunt Ryndra to Freewind Post. The Stone Axes hope to move into the beautiful centaur-favoured paradise of Desolace, presumably to face down our persistent four-legged enemies. Things started promising, with a couple of other sects of the Horde there, including the Convocation of Elrendar/Piggybacks (I call them this because of a particularly wiry woman who forced another of her number to give her a piggyback, I shit you not) and Agrammar. Friend of Dagger and Totem Nahue Dusthoof was also there, and amazingly he actually partook in some of the melee (I suppose his pacifist approach to life can take a jump off a bluff when centaur are involved...).
Celebrity spotting asides, we took part in a three-pronged attack against a centaur encampment, which was skillfully done until an orcish death knight not even part of our number charged into the cavern in the centre of the settlement. At this, Chieftain Mogrik's leadership went to pot: he blindly had us follow him, heads first, into this cavern, in search of this death knight. I assured him that the centaur were not capable of feats of necromancy, but Mogrik was having none of it. I made sure to voice my displeasure about the unnecessary dangers he had put our clan under. As it turned out, no one was hurt, but I maintained it was a reckless and thoroughly braindead move. Later, I requested to know, for future reference, what the Stone Axes were planning to do in Desolace; what their ultimate goal was. Mogrik was tight-lipped on the matter, saying that he could not risk spilling the details, even in Freewind Post. On behalf of the clan I said that we could not devote our time and effort into a venture that we didn't know the point of, especially if more reckless antics such as the cavern charge were to follow. I urged him to tell you about the plans Chieftain, so you could decide if it was worth endangering ourselves again following up this thread.
I did tell them that they could depend on Dagger and Totem for future operations, but not in any huge quantity or force, until we knew of their full intentions. Standard military protocol, all in all.
Thursday the 16th of September
On Thursday evening, I made my way into Agrammar to speak to one of its officers about the shared satyr threat in Ashenvale and Azshara. I was greeted by a young female orc, the "Commander of the Town Watch". I deployed all my effort into suppressing surprise at Agrammar considering itself a town, and instead got on with the issue of the day: The surviving Satyr we are giving a good hiding to in Azshara might be compelled to rout across the border to Ashenvale. Now, I considered this a rather innocuous warning; a heads up from one regiment to another, but not so this woman. She demanded that we make sure that all Satyr we face die, and that if we fail in this task we contribute to their killing in Ashenvale, too.
My explanations about Satyr possessing notorious skills for stealth, deception, camouflage and concealment fell on deaf ears. My scoffing at the notion of an orc baulking at the prospect of battle went down even less successfully, and to make matters worse, the woman was clearly, plainly, blatantly troubled by something, which she just wouldn't reveal. She was incredibly unprofessional, lacking vital skills in diplomacy, and was far too young and inexperienced to ever be considered a commander, let alone an officer. I made my opinions clear to her, and told her that I was going to write an (as yet unwritten) letter to her leader detailing her flaws and demanding some sort of punishment for her. Agrammar at least now knows that they may see a new influx of Satyr, although they should also know that their numbers will be slim and the threat they pose irritating at worst.
During the night, Gorik's Hammer was visited by Inspector Varktahl, who was keen to look over the base. I introduced him to the Den Mother's Den, and made sure to inform him that Guak Guthang did not like criticism of her chosen abodes. Sergeant Watrus told him about the Vrykul turret outside. Curiously, he seemed unimpressed by the canvas walls we've set up as a means for extra defence up the hill road towards the Den. Sergeant Watrus also showed him the tower, and I believe that Grunt Remiya, on her best behaviour, showed the orc around the other features of the Hammer. I made him aware that I was able to supply him with any documents relating to the base he needed.
Oh, and Finnley made friends with him too.
Friday the 17th of September
The clan attended the traditional Thunder Bluff Storytelling Night on Friday, and I hear Grunt Kruss Cragshot baffled the audience with a song about... killing rare species of bird? She apparently made up for it with a beautiful spiritual song about being poor and hungry, which sounds just like life in pre-war Lordaeron as a peasant. Well done there, Cragshot.
The former Grunt Ursala also appeared on the night, using our very buzzbox communications channel to spread lies and deceit about her true intentions. For all anyone might think she is still one of us, she most certainly isn't: she is a pawn of the Twilight Cult now - a body to be used and abused for their dark schemes. Whether or not we can redeem her (and the Chieftain's thoughts are that we can) she should NOT be approached by any grunts, without the absolute express permission of a Sergeant. She is a dangerous poison now, and don't any of you forget it.
This Week's Priorities
The Harvest Festival is in full swing, and as we are a clan of the Horde, we will be honouring the late, great Grom Hellscream. The Chieftain personally will be heading this venture to the Orcish hero's monument. Bring food, drink, and gifts for the orc, the myth, the legend.
The turrets mentioned earlier will have to be worked upon this week, and put into the initial stages of testing. The Chieftain has asked Sergeant Watrus to lead that.
We must regain the orbs lost to us by the Blue Dragonflight in Azshara. Doing so will throw us into immediate and terrible danger, but that's not half the peril the dragons are facing now that they're attracted OUR ire.
Grunt Kruss reports that she has seen a mysterious cave open up in the mountains of Azshara. I'm sure we all agree that we can't have suspicious holes in the scenery popping up all over the place, so the Chieftain would like it investigated. I'll be taking part in this. ((Onyxia 10man raid.))
I have recently received a new map pinpointing where all our remaining enemies are in Azshara. I think it's time that we broke the coastal Naga once and for all and claimed the beach for the Horde. Orgrimmar is becoming increasingly anxious about the harbour we're building there, so let's not disappoint them.
The Stone Axes will no doubt require our assistance again. The Chieftain tells me he will be seeking an audience with Chieftain Mogrik soon, and once that is done, we can commit entirely to their campaign, or, if things don't go well at the meeting, present them with our middle fingers.
That's all for now. I'll be sending another one of these out next Sunday. Remember to send me reports, because a more enlightened roster of troops works wonders for a military clan like this. Cheerio, everyone.