Eerie!UA

Eerie!UA
==I==
You, Miss Yeung, live across a hundred thousand universes.
Sometimes your cousins, local heroes and prodigal sons of China, do too.
Did you know you Drift with a Kaiju? 
You take the place of the hare-brained blockhead who came up with the scheme because he designed Jaeger upgrades the Kaiju have yet to beat. 
You didn’t.
You think they won't hunt you down because you're not useful.
They still do. 
.
The blockhead is ordered to find another brain. 
You shouldn't go with him. 
If you stay behind in Medical and let your brain heal like a good girl, you will live and he will die. 
If you go with him, he will live and you might die. 
Your brain is much too scrambled to articulate this, let alone walk through Hong Kong, yet you shower and change from generic navy to your cousins' red and gold and feel almost worse. 
You leave the Shatterdome anyway. 
Mr Chau has two options: take a fully-lit Effiel Tower with him during an air raid or let you make it on your own. 
Things get tricky here: 
If he risks Liu's wrath (and wrath it will be when (never if) your godparent finds out and you're hurt), you wish the blockhead well. Sometimes you walk home. Sometimes you try walking home and go in a big circle. Sometimes Liu crosses your path and the blockhead only loses a few fingernails. Sometimes you have company. Sometimes it's even human. 
If Mr Chau takes you and the blockhead with him, he deems an angry, betrayed, cranky 26 year old with a monster after her is less risk than a livid, deadly almost 30 year old (and what does it say when you're both more afraid of a human than a monster? 
In your case, not a whole lot). 
It takes 5 bodyguards, Dàiyù, and three bullets to get you in the bunker. You scream and cry and beg them not to make you go in there but they don't listen. You hate them for it when the plush carpet isn't concrete, when dust doesn't choke your throat, when you're in the now and not trapped a decade ago, cradled in the arms of a stranger and bleeding to death. 
Another two bodyguards, Dàiyù, and a broken nose are needed to keep you there. 
Did you know you're an idiot, Miss Yeung? Understandably an idiot, but an idiot all the same. 
There’s the universe where they put you to sleep, tuck you into a bed (as opposed to one of the cots in the hold- you’re hardly safe here but you’re even less safe there), lock the door, and settle down to wait for the 'all clear'.
The monitoring station calls it a Double Event. Two Kaiju rise from the ocean: Leatherback, all show and grandstanding, and Viper, built for speed, built to run, though what running has to do with vipers you’ll never know. 
Leatherback roars and flashes and makes a scene.
Viper dashes away into the city.
It's looking for one mind in a land of emptiness. 
No one hears you scream (because you can't) over the shriek of concrete and metal and a tremendous crash.
You don't shy from it (because you can't) and in the seconds it takes to kick down the door Viper’s turning away. There's the tiniest bit of red amid the blue of its tongue and then it’s running back the way it came, dodging Striker Eureka, leaping over Crimson Typhoon, and twisting around Cherno Alpha before hurling itself back through the Breach. 
Would you ever believe they take good care of you? They're more curious than anything. 
Most of the time, anyway.
==IV==
"Viper slipped across the Miracle Mile into the city and then returned to breach," says Pentecost. “Can you shed any light on the situation?"
“Oh, the Kaiju?” asks Dr. Geiszler. “Yeah, it took the, uh--” He waves vaguely. “--coffee girl.”
“The Category Two made off with Quartermaster Yeung,” Pentecost clarifies.
“She's a Quartermaster? I thought she just make coffee."
“Start from the beginning," Pentecost orders (pleasantly).
“Uh, sure so I'm about to Drift with the Kaiju when--”
“Quartermaster Yeung.”
“Yeah, she comes in, calls me an idiot which is totally not fair by the way--/I was trying to save the world and she's just delivering coffee--”
“Newt.”
“Fine. So she Drifts with Mutavore instead and I guess she had halfway decent reasoning--”
Pentecost tips his head at Tendo who snatches some paper and scribbles ‘discuss meaning of military secrets with Newt’.
“That's when you showed up and sent me to get another brain and she came too- totally uncalled for by the way I do have a sense of self-preservation. Sure, it’s a little slow but I wouldn’t get myself killed,” he scoffs.
“Did you find Hannibal Chau?”
“Yup! Easy as can be. The, uh--”
“Min.”
“Who?”
“Quartermaster Yeung?”
“Tim,” adds Tendo.
“Holy shit, that’s Tim? Enchanter of foam Kaiju?”
“One and the same,” replies Tendo. 
"Holy shit. So there's not gonna be anymore of them?"
"Newt."
"Damn, that sucks. Well, she knew exactly where to go and what she was doing; nobody gave us any hassle or funny looks, in fact some of the guys even greeted her! How does she even know a guy like that? He’s terrifying.”
Tendo chokes on his coffee.
“What?”
“Just be glad you didn't meet the Wei. Speaking of, we should assign a protective detail.”
“The way? What’s that?”
“Not that it'll stop him but it would be unethical to leave him defenseless.”
“Make it so, Officer Choi. Please inform Doctor Gottlieb of the situation and advise he may wish to remove himself from the lab. Newt, did Mr Chau have another brain?”
“No, and he was really rude about it. She was too, actually--they were nattering on in Chinese and I couldn't get a word in edgewise.”
“Why did you not return then?”
“I tried, but the alarm went off! Hannibal says were coming with him and Tim just flips. I mean, really? Has she ever even /seen a public shelter? A private bunker is a hundred thousand times nicer--no wait, she went spastic and /then the alarm went off. Took three guys and this awe-inspiring bald woman with the most gorgeous cheekbones ever--barring Hermann--”
"Dàiyù."
"--to get her in the car–the /limo--who's that?"
"Awe-inspiring bald woman."
"Ooooh. Yea, so she startles Tim and the third guy--the first thug scoops up Tim--she breaks his nose, rolls away, bites the second guy, actually makes out the door, nails the third guy in the shin, Daiyu startles her and the third guy shoves her in in the car. Hannibal drags me over and tosses me in after--the rest of ‘em go in the second car and I would seriously rather be with them because the /look Tim was giving us? Even if she wasn't shaking we'd all be dead X times over. So awkward car--limo!--ride is awkward and when we get where we’re going the /second Daiyu or Hannibal or the third guy takes an eye off Tim she /books it and Daiyu actually /shoots her. Don’t think she got hit though; she just fell and maybe hit her head? The third thug carried her back and she seemed kinda confused. Daiyu gets the door open and Tim screams back to life, kicking, clawing at the door jam – “Let me go let me go!” – seriously, the kid is /nuts.”
“Don’t make me go,” corrects Pentecost.
“Yea, that’s it--how did you know?”
“Can I tell ‘im?” asks Tendo. “I gotta tell him.”
“Officer Choi, PPDC medical history is confidential. Newt, what happened next?”
“We finally get everyone inside and there’s this lull before the door’s sealed ‘cause someone from the other group’s locking the cars and Tim lunges for the door – fourth guy grabs the back of her jumpsuit and just drops but she headbutts his face and then a /fifth thug clothesline’s her and sits ‘em down just like that and tucks them up against the wall. I get parked on this built-in bench--it's really cushy--and some other thug asks if I want a book or something but I'm trying to talk to Hannibal except he's on the phone with someone else and when he hangs up he kinda nods at Daiyu and then she's gone. I get this travelogue about a trip to the Moon from like the 1600s or something. I know, right? Did /not see that coming. Might as well, though; no idea how long it's gonna be. Daiyu comes back with a water bottle and convinces Tim to drink it. She downs half of it and makes a face which I really don’t get 'cause it's sealed and it’s just water? But she finishes it and gets all ugly and throws it and I think she was aiming at Daiyu, I don’t know but it bounces off some other guy; Daiyu gets her to her feet and half walks half carries her to this side door that I didn’t even see it blends in so well. Daiyu comes back a few minutes later and locks the door, says some stuff to Hannibal--I don’t know what it was 'cause they only spoke Chinese. Some of the guys ask Hannibal something and he agrees, kinda nodding towards this /other door--I guess it’s a dorm or something ‘cause they didn’t come back. He keeps shooing me away or arguing on his phone – and it’s a nice one too, like a legit smart phone. So I read instead. It starts off pretty slow, and once it got going it was really good and I was totally sucked in- swallowed, even! That actually sounds terrible-,”
"Newt."
"Right. There's this fight scene and the sound effects are /amazing--I mean I could feel it in my /teeth--and then there's gunfire but they'd discussed already that gunpowder doesn't work in space but whatever it's the 1600s and then there's a shit ton of yelling in Chinese and again with manhandling--Hannibal's dragging me to the door which is /unlocked now and I'm like "What about the Event alarm? The all-clear hasn't gone off yet!" Hannibal's all "That's the least of our problems" and throws me in the car--still can't believe it's a limo--and Daiyu follows--she keeps swallowing for some reason--and they drop me off here."
Pentecost takes a deep breath.
Tendo leans back in his chair.
Newt looks between the two.
"We've tried sealing the Breach both when it is open and when it's closed, correct?"
"Neither ended well," replies Tendo.
"Then we will hold Operation Pitfall until the Triple Event, given repairs are satisfactory and everything else proceeds as plan."
"Got it."
"What about my brain?"
"Newt," Pentecost begins slowly. "I understand your ... determination, however I need you focus on getting through the Breach."
"I can't do that if I don't have another brain!"
"You can, and you will."
"But--"
"Newt, if there's another brain available, there is only one way you will get it and that is if you make a very, /very good impression on Wei." 
"Why didn't you send me to him in the first place?"
Tendo cringes.
"Because he's coming here."
"You already called him?! Couldn't you--"
"We didn't," interrupts Tendo.
"Then how--"
Pentecost holds up a hand.
Takes a moment.
"Wei already knows what happened, in fact, I would not be surprised if Wei knew what happened before we did. If you are lucky, and let me be clear, if you are /very lucky, you have 12 hours."
"And then what?"
"And then," says Tendo. "You get to meet the guy that makes Hannibal seem like a kitten." Claps him on the shoulder. "Good luck defending your life."
==V==
Newt returns to his desk from the washroom, humming some rock medley under his breath.
""Good afternoon, Newt.""
Newt whips around to find a youthful ... person fiddling with a security camera. 
"I don't think you're supposed to be doing that," he says. 
"Who's going to stop me?" The person makes a final adjustment and drops down from the ladder in a graceful storm of duster. "Now we're alone."
"The, uh, security guys?"
"Did you notice the security detail?” the person asks, and blocks Newt as he tries to peer into the hallway. As it is, he can see one body slumped just outside the door. 
"We are alone," agrees Newt. 
'And it's been twelve hours since my cousin was abducted by the Category Two Kaiju 'Viper' and taken beyond the Breach."
Lightbulb!
"You're that 'Hannibal is a kitten’ guy!" 
The person smiles as if genuinely finding the description funny. "Yes, I'm Wei Tang Liu."
Newt offers a hand, changes his mind, and bows instead. "It's great to meet you!"
Wei inclines their head--as close as to a bow as Newt warrants--and says, "I imagine you might think that."
"Oh definitely," replies Newt. "Anyone scary enough to make that creep seem harmless is awesome in my book." 
"Even though you’ll be dealing with that person?"
"Why would I have to have anything to do with that guy? Better question, why would someone like that have anything to do with me?"
"I'm standing right here." 
Newt--
Oh. 
Shit. 
The Way.
Wei and The Way.
"It's a terrible handle but effective," Wei admits. 
Hannibal is scary, The Way is a hundred times scarier, Wei is The Way, Wei is somehow related to the coffee girl--she's a girlfriend, maybe? Lover?--and the coffee girl's abduction may be on Newt's head. 
Oh shit. 
"She's my baby sister." 
"How did you--"
"You didn't pay attention when I mentioned her the first time, you didn't catch my full name, and you were just now connecting all the dots."
"So the security guys?"
"Were probably to satisfy some moral dilemma about leaving you defenseless even though they wouldn't do any good. I believe you have information for me?"
"Uh, yea, information." Newt picks up a sticky note. "I've figured out some of the stuff--if she hadn't insisted on Drifting instead of me we wouldn't have this problem."
"Information, please."
"Right--Blue lemon grenades, two versions, same conclusion: the Kaiju are grenades, the Precursors--Masters, whatever--pull the pin, throw the Kaiju through the Breach, Kaiju does damage, or a 'damned if you do damned if you don't' situation where the humans pull the pin on the Kaiju grenade by killing them and then everything about them is designed to terraform--Anteverse-form?--they're so toxic they melt themselves.”
"Why 'lemon grenades', exactly?"
Newt waves his hand dismissively. "Some video game reference. Not important."
"My sister's important," Wei says pleasantly. "Why 'lemon grenades'?"
Newt rolls his eyes. "She played a recording of the Jaeger AI so all she was thinking about was this Portal game."
"What was the context?"
"I just told you!"
"Of the line? Wei asks kindly. 
"Uh, near the end, I think. The owner and CEO of this company was dying and frustrated and ranted on about 'when life gives you lemons'. That's why I called them the 'Masters', duh."
"What else?"
"Um, "we've done this before"--dinosaurs? Yea, they were Kaiju. Atmosphere didn't suit 'em, they died. I'm reasonably certain that she was speaking as a Kaiju at that point because, well, there weren't really any people around to kill them. What I don't get is this 'the sea level hasn't changed'. It has. Melting icecaps, entire cities washing into the ocean; it's gone up."
"Would another set of eyes help?"
"Maybe in a bit," says Newt, "I've got some simulations running; if they spit out something useful, probably not."
"Excellent work," says Wei. "Take off your shoes."
"Okay." Newt kneels. "Wait, what?" He makes to stand and bumps into a gun. 
"Take off your shoes."
“Dude, you can't kill me.”
Wei takes a deep breath and looks heaven-ward. "Why does everyone think I'm going to kill them?"
"I don't know, misplaced retribution for getting that girl kidnapped--which, by the way, is seriously unfair because I had almost nothing to do with that--she was all 'I volunt--'"
Wei fires. 
.
 
Newt wakes up to something poking his cheek. “Fuck, my head,” he groans. “Hermann, how long was I out?”
""19 minutes,"" replies Wei. 
Newt shoots to sitting--regrets it--and scrambles back. 
Wei, crouching before him, holds a scalpel dripping with Kaiju Blue.
Newt touches his face. 
His hand comes away with a smear of Blue. 
"You may have lost some thinking time, however your simulations haven't finished." Wei wipes down the scalpel with a tissue, returns the scalpel to the work table, and crouches back down by Newt as the tissue goes into a hazmat bag and vanishes into a pocket. "You have four minutes until the corrosion is permanent and I am between you and the decontamination shower. Take off your shoes."
"Look, dude, I really don't react well to fear I mean it's really not a good--"
"Take off your shoes, Newt."
"--idea because I could pass out and hit my head and never wake up or I'm so rattled I forget all my ideas--"
"Newt, shut up."
Newt shuts up. 
"Take off your shoes please. I won't ask again." 
Newt takes off his shoes. 
"And your socks."
Newt drapes his socks over his shoes. 
Wei hands him a pair of pliers. 
"Nonono I am not cutting off my own toe."
"Of course not," says Wei. "That could easily take a couple hours to repair. Breaking a toe, however, you won't even need to go to Medical."
"You want me to break my own toe."
"Fourth in on your left foot."
"Dude--"
"Two minutes, Newt. Would you like me to pull out your nails instead?"
"I don't know how to break a toe."
"I believe you've taken, what was it, four human anatomy classes?"
Newt breaks his--"Fuck!"
Wei plucks the pliers from his hands--
"Fuckity fuck!"
--wraps them in a rag and then in bag
"God fucking damnit!"
--and stows them somewhere in the duster. 
"It's a goddamn toe it's not supposed to hurt that much!"
Wei stands. "Thank you very much, Newt. Good luck; I'll see you in twelve hours. Oh, and I would take care of the Blue before it rots through your teeth. Have a good day."
==VI==
One minute, Hermann has Typhoon's snack bar all to himself. The next, a shadow peels off the wall and into a person.
A triplet--Jin? says, "Dai lo, this is Doctor Gottlieb, expert on the Breach, its structure, and relevant algorithms."
Hermann scrambles to--
The person makes a quiet, regal motion.
Hermann remains sitting.
Hu continues. "Doctor Gottlieb, this is our cousin, Wei Liu."
Hermann says, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
An incline of the head. "Likewise, Doctor. "
Cheung puts a hand on his shoulder. "Doctor Gottlieb has compiled what we know into a presentation, if you would join us in the conference room."
"By all means." Wei steps back, queues Jin them to lead on. 
.
Hermann going to Typhoon's snack bar for eats is a cute idea. Like, it kind of makes sense (if he doesn't like people, and he does like Chinese food, then he would avoid the mess, and I don't know if anyone would bother to stop him strolling into the Staging Area?)
I have an image of Hermann scrolling through the Miscrosoft Powerpoint clipart section, muttering to himself about how difficult it is to find a suitable picture and how all of these cartoons are inane and ridiculous. (I know it's extremely unlikely; Hermann seems like the type to avoid humour/decoration in his presentations, and in the event of relenting, would do so only with the driest, most high-brow humour/references possible, to the extent he'd be the only one in the room chortling at his own joke [and would awkwardly cough and move directly along when he realised everyone was either unamused or lost])
My impression with Hermann is that he's a very good teacher, so if his audience (triplets, for instance) would learn better with clipart, he would break out the clipart XD Imagine him hoarding a carefully curated selection of images after he grumbled through Microsoft's pitiful collection. 
==Resources==
https://what-if.xkcd.com/53/
Category:Ficlet
Category:Tang Min
Category:Tang Min (ficlet)
Category:Eerie!UA