Little Rodent Blue/Script

==Script==
*[A movie, "The Hunt for Rodentosaurus" starts. Credits roll to the sound of pedal-steel guitar. The movie stars Rodent Dog, was directed by Rodent Dog, and features Glasses Duck and Lamb Wick (Their slide is upside-down). The movie starts. It is paleolithic times. Ed, as a dinosaur, comes onscreen menacingly.]
*Tommy: Holy mackerel!
*[Lamb Wick is chased away by a club-wielding caveman–Rodent Dog. A cavewoman (Glasses Duck) comes onscreen, and Rodent Dog flexes for her.]
*Hilary Hedgehog: Oh brother.
*[Suddenly, Cool Goat's giant head eclipses the screen. The music begins to sound choppy, as Glasses Duck, who is providing it live, cannot see the action and thus can't play.]
*Hilary Hedgehog: Cool Goat, you blimphead! Move it or lose it! [She knocks him down.]
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*[Rodent Dog opens his fist and chuckles.]
*Rodent Dog: Pay for Rodent-day! There's big cash in showbiz, Glasses Duck! Unless you're on cable. Ha!
*Fat Dog: What a rip! This is so lame, I'm ready to heave!
*Rodent Dog: A troublemaker! [He rushes to Fat Dog's chair.] Is there a problem here, patron?
*Fat Dog: This movie sucks eggs, so gimme back my money. [Rodent Dog gasps.]
*Rodent Dog: [nervous] Have some popcorn, Fat Dog! On the house! [He stuffs a bag into Fat Dog's mouth.]
*Hilary Hedgehog: Why did he get free popcorn? I want free popcorn!
*[Rodent Dog groans and goes off to get the concession for Hilary Hedgehog. Butter Horse, seeing this, longingly looks at Mandy's popcorn. He reaches his hand in to take some. At that moment, Mandy reaches for popcorn and grabs Butter Horse's hand. She stuffs it into her mouth.]
*Butter Horse: [apologetically] A discharged niblet for Butter Horse [Mandy glares and punches him out in the seats. Butter Horse goes flying.]
*Butter Horse: Son of a shepherd.
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*[Rodent Dog grabs a bag of popcorn from next to a popcorn machine and adds it to a pile he's carrying.]
*Rodent Dog: [sarcastic] I want free popcorn, I want free popcorn. What do I look like, some popcorn fairy?
*[Rodent Dog turns to give the popcorn to the moviegoers and trips over a prone Butter Horse. The popcorn goes flying.]
*Tommy: My eyes! [The bags have landed on Tommy.] This butter substitute is stinging my eyes!
*Fat Dog: Now that's entertainment!
*Hilary Hedgehog: Mind your own beeswax! [She throws her drink at him.] Aw, did Fat Dog go boom?
*Fat Dog: [getting up] Right. [Glasses Duck looks nervous.] FOOD FIGHT!
*[A rumble breaks out, popcorn and soda flying everywhere.]
*Hilary Hedgehog: You missed!
*Glasses Duck: [trying to calm the ruckus] People, please! Let's not behave like children!
*Fat Dog: [holding a drink] Yo Butter Horse, think fast!
*[He cocks his arm, and Butter Horse tackles him.]
*Butter Horse: Too slow!
*Glasses Duck: Rodent Dog, do something!
*Rodent Dog: [handing out concessions and collecting quarters] Are you kidding me? [He ducks to avoid a drink.] I'm making a killing here, Glasses Duck! [Tommy hands over a quarter and gets more ammo.]
*Cool Goat: [untouched by the war] Far out! Look, Frank. 3D!
*[An angry Lamb Wick stands in front of the movie.]
*Glasses Duck: Lamb Wick, is something the matter?
*Rodent Dog: Well, look who decided to join us.
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*[The sounds of a tussle emanate from the garage.] Rodent Dog: Lamb Wick! What's the matter with you?! Put me down! [Lamb Wick heaves the garage door open and carries the kids out.] Glasses Duck: Lamb Wick please! Hilary Hedgehog: LAMB WICK! Tommy: Put me down! [Lamb Wick drops everyone on his driveway]
*Lamb Wick: [yelling angrily] Away with you! Unwanted pesterers!
*[The kids look at him, surprised by this unusual behavior. Hilary Hedgehog gets up out of the middle of the pile.]
*Hilary Hedgehog: LAMB WICK! You listen to me, mister! You can't kick me out! [yells] I LIVE HERE TOO!!!!
*Lamb Wick: [yells back in Hilary's face] SO MOVE!!!
*Hilary Hedgehog: [backing up in fear] Heh. Heh. Okay, we better go. [The kids disperse.]
*Fat Dog: You read my mind.
*Cool Goat: Catch you on the rebound, slick!
*Glasses Duck: Is it me, or is Cool Goat's vocabulary deteriorating?
*Rodent Dog: [angry] I was holding 'em big time with that food fight! Till Mister Happy shows up and ruins everything. [Lamb Wick grumpily heaves the garage shut and walks down the street.] [mockingly] Hey Grumpula! Wake up on the wrong side of those stale socks of yours? [angry about being ignored] Hey Sourpuss! [Lamb Wick walks on.]
*Glasses Duck: A dark cloud seems to be hanging over Lamb Wick's head, Rodent Dog. Our friend is a mere shell of the awkward, unvarnished, dunderhead we know and love. It's our duty to see Ed through this plague of grief.
*Rodent Dog: Ah, the guy's a big baby. He's probably just got gas.
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*[Lamb Wick sits alone on a stump in the park. His friends arrive.]
*Glasses Duck: Lamb Wick? Is there anything we can do to make you feel better?
*Rodent Dog: Hey Glasses Duck, is that a lump on a log? [He chuckles. Lamb Wick picks up the stump and turns away.]
*Glasses Duck: Lamb Wick certainly is long in the face, Rodent Dog.
*Rodent Dog: That's 'cause he doesn't have a chin, Einstein.
*Lamb Wick: [yelling angrily] SHUT UP! [His friends are left shocked as he turns back around, now blushing red in the face.]
*Rodent Dog: [furious that Lamb Wick actually yelled at him] YOU SHUT UP!
*Glasses Duck: Rodent Dog, please! Lamb Wick's having a bad day!
*Rodent Dog: Lamb Wick's a wuss. Hey Rumpled Forehead! [Rodent Dog goes to stand next to Lamb Wick.] I'll give you till three TO GET OVER YOURSELF. One!–smile, you miserable little–Two!–snap out of it, ya–
*Lamb Wick: [grabbing Rodent Dog by his face] You torment me! [He throws Rodent Dog against a tree, and the tree breaks in half.]
*Rodent Dog: I'm hurt now.
*[Glasses Duck brings out a stool and sits by Lamb Wick. He is going to try compassion.]
*Glasses Duck: Lamb Wick? [He touches Lamb Wick's shoulder and looks disgusted. He begins to clean the jacket.] Do you know what I like when I'm feeling crabby? [He finishes cleaning.] A big hug to squeeze those cares away! [He hugs Lamb Wick.]
*Lamb Wick: [shoving Glasses Duck away] Touch me again and I will squash you!
*Rodent Dog: [mockingly] Way to go, Mr. Sensitive. A hug. Oh, that's rich.
*Glasses Duck: Lamb Wick? If you care to share your feelings, I want you to know I'll be right here for you, my friend.
*[Glasses Duck notices that Lamb Wick is scraping the bark off the stump using just his fingers. Lamb Wick turns and looks at Glasses Duck, doom in his eyes.]
*Glasses Duck: Well, let's leave Lamb Wick to gather his thoughts, Rodent Dog. A little self-introspection may do him a world of good. Coming, Rodent Dog?
*Rodent Dog: What're ya gonna do now, knit him a sweater?
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*[Glasses Duck is using a blow dryer on some pudding skin. Rodent Dog is throwing random items into a box behind him.]
*Glasses Duck: Rodent Dog!
*Rodent Dog: That's my name.
*Glasses Duck: What are you doing? We're supposed to be gathering things to cheer Lamb Wick up, not unclog his drain! [He holds up a plunger.] For example, Lamb Wick adores pudding skin. [He picks up the skin.] So, I've taken the liberty of adorning one with a whimsical smile. Isn't it spiffy?
*Rodent Dog: [rolling his eyes] Oh, I get it. So this hundred-year-old sandwich is sure to please Mr. Crankypants. [He picks the sandwich off of Lamb Wick's pillow. The pillow comes with it, and Rodent Dog sees a magazine under it.] It's a magazine! [It is a copy of Chicks Glory.] Lamb Wick's been holding out on us! Chicks Glory, huh?
*[Rodent Dog happily picks it up and flips it open. The pictures inside are of baby chickens.]
*Glasses Duck: [disgusted] I didn't even know they had magazines like that.
*[Rodent Dog drops the magazine back on Lamb Wick's bed and helps Glasses Duck cart off the happy box.]
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*[Glasses Duck and Rodent Dog enter the park. They stop. Fat Dog is bullying Lamb Wick by bouncing a baseball behind his head.]
*Glasses Duck: [horrified] Fat Dog! What in heaven's–
*Rodent Dog: Pass it here, Fat Dog!
*[Rodent Dog goes to join the game. Rodent Dog and Lamb Wick amuse themselves by catching the balls they bounce of Lamb Wick's head.]
*Rodent Dog: Glasses Duck, you've gotta try this!
*[Lamb Wick grabs Rodent Dog and shapes him into a bat.]
*Fat Dog: Potent. [He laughs. Lamb Wick takes a swing at Kevin and sends the jock flying.] Whoa!
*[Rodent Dog is tossed away, used for his intended purpose.]
*Rodent Dog: Is he happy yet?
*Glasses Duck: Not even a smirk, Rodent Dog.
*Rodent Dog: This stinks. [He reads from a comic book called "Marlene of the Deep."] It's tentacles tightened, sucking the marrow–
*[Lamb Wick slams the book shut on Rodent Dog The book falls loose, revealing Rodent Dog's head as a page from a comic book. Rodent Dog is saying, "Ow." He goes over to Glasses Duck and tags him.]
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*[Lamb Wick has a turkey on his lap. On top of it is a lit candle. He and Glasses Duck are wearing party hats.]
*Glasses Duck: Go on, Lamb Wick! Blow out the candle, and make a big happy wish! [Lamb Wick stuffs the turkey into Glasses Duck. Glasses Duck goes over to Rodent Dog and tags him in. Not liking this, Lamb Wick tags Glasses Duck back. It turns into a slapping match.]
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*[Glasses Duck and Rodent Dog are putting on a puppet show using Baron O'Beefdrop and a robot alien.]
*Baron O'Beefdrop: La la la! Mr. Robot, our moody friend sure could use a good chuckle. Why don't you sing him a song, and lift his spirits?
*Rodent Dog: I hate puppet shows! [He tosses the robot away.]
*Glasses Duck Ooh, you're not even trying! You pick that up, Mister!
*[Lamb Wick pulls a cord on Baron O'Beefdrop's back. A flame shoots out of the toy's mouth, barbecuing the puppet show alongside with Glasses Duck and Rodent Dog's tops.]
*Rodent Dog: [amazed] Nice toy.
*[Glasses Duck drops Baron O'Beefdrop and whispers in Rodent Dog's ear. Rodent Dog leaps out of the box.]
*Rodent Dog: NO WAY! Forget it! I ain't doin’ it!
*Glasses Duck: But Rodent Dog! Look at him [He indicates the grumpy Lamb Wick.] If Rodent Dog doesn't cheer up soon, he could become a perpetual mope! Do you realize how miserable our lives would be? [Rodent Dog stands there grumpily.]
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*[Rodent Dog is still grumpy, but he is now dressed as a rooster.]
*Rodent Dog: [dancing] Bock bock bock. Look at me, I'm a chicken. Cluck cluck cluck. You love chickens. Chickens make you happy. Buck buck buck. How 'bout I lay an egg?
*[Lamb Wick comes over to Rodent Dog and pulls his cowl down over him. Lamb Wick then shoves Rodent Dog away.]
*Glasses Duck: You forgot to wiggle your tailfeathers, Rodent Dog.
*Rodent Dog: [snaps] THAT'S IT! [He runs over to Lamb Wick.] I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR BAD MOOD! CRACK A SMILE! BUST A GUT! BE HAPPY! [He slaps Lamb Wick on the back of his head.] GET OVER IT!
*Lamb Wick: [enraged] RAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! [His eyes turn red and he rips his eyebrow in half and angrily screams loudly at the world.] BIG TROUBLE! [Glasses Duck faints and Rodent Dog stands there, stunned, as the gale unleashed by Lamb Wick's scream rips his shirt off. Lamb Wick grabs his stump and proceeds to smash the playground with it. Rodent Dog frantically fans Glasses Duck. Lamb Wick bites into various pieces of playground equipment and tosses them in the air. Cool Goat, caught on the seesaw, actually enjoys this.]
*Cool Goat: Yee-haw!
*Rodent Dog: [desperately shaking Glases Duck] Glasses Duck, wake up! Aah! [He cowers. Broken pieces of playground land around him and Glasses Duck.]
*Cool Goat: Right on! [He lands on one end of the seesaw, Frank on the other. Frank shoots up into the air.]
*Lamb Wick: I WANT TO BE ALONE! [Frank hits Lamb Wick on the back of his head. Lamb Wick looks at Frank with a deadly stare.]
*Cool Goat: Frank? [Lamb Wick raises Frank over his head, ready to break the board against his knee.]
*Cool Goat: Gimme Frank back, you meanie!
*[Lamb Wick holds off Frank with an outstretched leg.]
*Frank:
*Cool Goat: I'm trying, buddy, but I can't reach you!
*Frank:
*Cool Goat: You want me to what? That's weird, buddy. But I'll do it.
*Rodent Dog: Oh, this oughta be good.
*Cool Goat: [grabs Lamb Wick's right shoe] Geronimo!
*[Cool Goat tug Lamb Wick's shoe until it comes off. A tiny pebble tumbles out. Lamb Wick, suddenly no longer angry, wiggles his sock-clad toe. A wide smile spreads across his face, and he tosses Frank away.]
*Lamb Wick: [Overjoyed] Lamb Wick is happy once more!
*Cool Goat: Buddy! [He catches and hugs Plank.] [noting how the Rodents liven things up] Never a dull moment with these clowns, huh Plank?
*[Glasses Duck walks over to the shoe and pebble and picks up the rock.]
*Glasses Duck: [Shocked beyond belief] A pebble? Lamb Wick's bad mood was all because he had a pebble in his shoe?
*Cool Goat: [offscreen] He's mad, I tell ya, mad!
*Lamb Wick: [hugging Glasses Duck and Rodent Dog] My friends! My pals! My name here!
*[Rodent Dog falls to the ground in a fit of crazy laughter.]
*Lamb Wick: [oblivious] Somebody had a good day, huh, Glasses Duck? [He and Rodent Dog laugh together.]
Category:Transcripts