Skystar

Skystar's memory is extremely unreliable, but her wiki can be used as a timeline of sorts for much of the forum's history. 
Skystar was a tall molly with a solid, dark blue coat that was short but dense. She had long, sturdy legs and large paws, with an oriental-type muzzle and blue-green or green eyes. Skystar had severe facial trauma that left her unable to express emotion in ways that most cats could understand. The scarring, combined with her detached mannerisms, often made her seem either cruel or distant to those who didn't know her well. 
Skystar was the previous leader of Fieldclan, after Yarrowstar. She was born just after the Crimson Guild was eradicated, when the clan was still recovering. She was named Skystrike as a warrior, after her speed and ferocity in battle and during hunts-- a name that fit her skills but which she felt no real connection with. During her life, she was a false prophecy cat who travelled to find the cure for Nightcough during Swipestar's rule, she fought in the war with the Dark Realm, and survived the Great Freeze. 
Skystar's first apprentice was Leopardpaw, and her last apprentice was Leaffeather. She felt like mentorship was her place in the clan, up until leadership, so there were many more in between.
== Personality ==
Even in her youth, Skystar was someone who valued her family, and her clan, above all else. She was raised to believe that without the clan, she was nothing; that belief and loyalty holds true into old age.
She was always a fairly quiet, introverted cat, but she fit into the clan seamlessly, happy to help wherever she could. As an elder leader, Skystar has lost most of those she grew up with, and makes little effort to get close to those she shares her home with now. She was serious and driven by her work; this, combined with a generally bleak outlook on life and emotional isolation, makes her come across as cold and uncaring.
Skystar loves kittens and apprentices. She loves their curiosity for the world, and she loves teaching them about it-- especially the history that would otherwise be lost, barring any personal details. Throughout most of her life, she took it upon herself to teach the youth about those that came before. She still does, but her old age has made the memories fade and the emotions either too much or just out of reach; with fewer cats to listen, and the world seemingly spinning out of control around her, the stories are much harder to come by.
Through her stony expression, it can be hard to notice how deeply Skystar feels. She feels fear, she feels grief, she feels regret and all-encompassing dread for the future and events as they play out. She has lost many throughout her life, and fears the same happening to those around her. She fears the things she cannot control. When she feels powerless, she acts out with aggression or defensiveness-- something that has become more common since gaining the leader position. She must keep others at arms' length to protect herself, and she must make the tough decisions and accept harsh realities when others will not.
At the same time, those fears often seem muted, far away, like her memories belong to someone else. To cope, she compartmentalizes, keeping her emotions away from her chest and her thoughts carefully blank; again contributing to a generally careless appearance to others. 
Once upon a time, Skystar found solace with the stars. Lately, they serve more as a reminder that she is alone in this world. (It helps, with Bramblestrike at her side, the last broken pillar keeping her standing.)
== History ==
Skystar was born as Skykit, daughter of Nightshade and Bluewhisker. Her littermates were Moonflower, Badgerkit, and the stillborn Emberkit.
The kittens were born soon after the Crimson Guild War finally ended. With the warriors busy trying to return to normalcy after the battles, and with Nightshade herding them away like nuisance pests, the kittens ended up spending most of their days holed up in the nursery instead of playing and exploring like kittens should. Thankfully, Bluewhisker was always there, doing his best to stave their boredom, introducing them to the rest of the clan and teaching them about the world when Nightshade wasn't around to complain.
Skykit was the most reserved of her siblings, preferring to stay with her dad over socializing with the rest of the clan. Still, she had that grand desire to explore. She led her siblings out of camp while her parents were arguing and the rest of the clan was preparing for an incoming storm. Skykit was four moons old.
The kittens had known rain was coming, but they had never lived through a proper storm. On that day, they were separated, scattering to try to find shelter from the torrential downpour.
Skykit was the only ones the warriors found, drenched and shaking in a rock crevice on the side of a hill.
Fallenstar was kind to her, allowing her to become an apprentice the very night she turned six moons. Fallenstar recognized that further punishment was unnecessary, given how Skykit was already traumatized and clearly regretted her actions. Receiving her new name, without her siblings by her side, was punishment enough.
Skypaw found company in Lightningpaw. Given their age gap, however, the two weren't particularly close. Skypaw was alone in a den far too large, after he became a warrior. 
With a bit more freedom from her controlling mother now that she was an apprentice, Skypaw became close with Robinsong, who was almost like a second mother for her, offering advice and a comforting presence where Nightshade wouldn't.
=== Red Fang's Pack ===
Skypaw received the name Skystrike upon becoming a full warrior, after her speed and ferocity during battle and hunts. Not long after, the camp was attacked by the Red Fangs Pack. Skystrike lost both of her parents, but the clan pulled through, winning the battle, after receiving aid from Treeclan.
In the aftermath of the fight, the clan was left scrambling to pick up the pieces: healing the wounded, burying the dead, handling their own grief, comforting those they loved. 
After the battle, old wounds reopened when Skystrike's lost sister, Moonkit, safely returned after more than seven months of being assumed deceased. She brought with her a kittypet named Malcolm, and endless excitement to be back home. Perhaps their reunion would have been more joyous if not for the battle it followed, if she hadn't had to deliver the news of their parents' deaths, but Skystrike had only just begun to forgive her younger self and move on. Seeing her dead sister, alive and well, who had never stopped searching for the home she lost... What did that mean for Skystrike, who never even started? 
Before the sisters could catch up and heal, a new illness began spreading through camp: Nightcough, a terrible respiratory disease, most likely spread through bodily fluids like saliva and blood, which could and often did kill cats in as little as three days. The cats had no way of knowing how it even began, with symptoms showing suddenly, long after the initial exposure. 
Skystrike had to see clanmate after clanmate fall to the mysterious new illness, helpless to stop it despite exhaustive efforts not only from Jaystorm, but also the warriors including Skystrike herself. One of the victims was Skystrike's very first apprentice, Leopardpaw, who she had come to see almost as a daughter. 
=== The False Prophecy ===
Fieldclan received a prophecy stating that several of their own cats would be sent to find a rare herb that would cure Nightcough for all the clans. These cats were Shadeflower and Marigoldpaw, Nightspring and Volepaw, Grayshine and Tigerpaw, and Skystrike. 
Leopardpaw died only days before Skystrike had to leave her home. Leaving was one of the most difficult things Skystrike had to do-- to continue on, after the teenager she had grown so fond of, who she had put so much energy and love into training and raising into a capable adult, had died spasming and gasping for breath, with Skystrike unable to provide any comfort.
.
They prophecy cats were told that the herb grew next to a river, so they first followed the nearest river backwards toward the mountain it flowed from, getting horribly lost until the Wildwalkers began to guide them. Each cat had their own unique experience with the Wildwalkers, and it was on that journey that Skystrike learned to follow her gut, even when she didn't think she had any reason to. 
The group eventually discovered Seaclan, under Troutstar's leadership. Seaclan was a clan descended from cats who fought for Darkclan during the Darkclan War. While the more experienced warriors were tense and suspicious of the survivors, Skystrike stood back and watched, unsure how to handle the situation; she knew of the atrocities committed, but she had not lived them. She was not as tense as the more experienced warriors, nor as eager as the youngest apprentice. She was a spectator, watching from the sidelines when she should have been doing something.
Regardless, perhaps it was for the best, as it made her a neutral and effective communicator, introvert or not. 
The Fieldclan cats were able to get the herbs they needed, and Skystrike was able to positively connect with several Seaclan cats while she was there. She was fascinated by their history, which helped fuel her love of history and retelling past stories. In a different world, perhaps it would have also taught her the consequences of blind loyalty. Once upon a time, maybe it did.
As an elder, she would only remember the endless expanse of ocean like the darkest sky if it swallowed the moons and stars.
.
Skystrike had been looking forward to coming home and seeing her family again. To be happily greeted by worn but loving faces, worse for wear but still standing strong and surviving. She expected to come home to find the elders bathing in sunlight, and weary warriors returning from patrol.
What she hadn't expected was to be interrupted by angry, distant shrieks before they could even see camp. What she hadn't expected was to find Treeclan fighting a group of unknown enemy rogues that matched them for numbers. What she hadn't expected was to find Fieldclan on both sides, friends and family mauling one another with fury she had only ever seen used against coyotes and the Red Fangs Pack, had only heard of in old tales of the Darkclan War and Crimson Guild battles.
The fighting halted when their patrol, Fieldclan's prophecy cats (not even the true prophecy cats, Skystrike would later discover) approached, but Skystrike couldn't hear the praise over the blood pounding through her ears as she walked the field of bodies. She couldn't help but feel like she had been playing "House" while her clanmates had been fighting a war all on their own. Coudn't help but think of Fieldclan splitting and being driven from their home-- and what if it all could have been avoided if they hadn't put their trust in Swipestar himself, blind faith in a prophecy of his own making? 
Peace didn't last at the day's end, as many more battles raged over the moons. The bloodshed only ended when the true prophecy cats-- those that were supposed to make the journey to Seaclan in Fieldclan's stead-- chased out Swipestar and his most dedicated loyalists.
How could Skystrike ever think she was important enough for a prophecy? If she had been home, where she was supposed to be, Swipestar may have never gained as much control as he did. If the real prophecy cats were supposed to find the herbs, if the real prophecy cats had put an end to Swipestar's cruelty, was Skystrike important at all? Or had she only made things worse?
==== Aftermath ====
After nearly six moons' worth of battles, Volewhisker-- one of Skystrike's closest friends, with her on the journey-- was appointed leader. She had taken charge and guided them through each battle, managing everything she could in-between, and was the natural fit, despite her youth, to build Fieldclan back up after Swipestar's destruction. Skystrike always admired her for that.
With battles ceased, Skystrike had a moment to sit down and process everything that happened. At first, it didn't feel real: the battle couldn't have been won so easily, with the death of only one cat ending it all. If all it took was Swipestar's death to stop the war, why were so many other lives lost in the process? If Heaven was real, if the Wildwalkers had some influence on the way of things, why didn't they warn Fieldclan? Why did they ever give Swipestar three lives? 
It had been over a year since the Red Fang's Pack attack that started it all. Skystrike never had a moment just to rest. "Normal" was being on the move, from one task to the next, always on the go. Without a war to fight, with the great journey over, there was a moment they could all breathe. She'd been underwater for over half her life, and now finally got to surface and breathe, but she didn't know how. How was she supposed to adjust, now that no one needed her, now that she had nothing to keep her mind busy? 
She always had someone telling her what to do, who to be, or had a clear, set task laid before her. Without that, who was she? How was she meant to be?
During wartimes, her strength and skill had gained her respect. She had brought a cure for the plague, and acted quickly under guidance from others. Respect did not equate with friendship when reintegrating into the clan.
Drifting from the older warriors she had gotten along so well with before, she felt lost and lonely all over again-- but so did the others her age. While Bramblestrike and Skystrike had never quite gotten along, she and Lightningheart did. They'd spoken several times in between battles, but there had always been something else to do, somewhere else to be. Without that, it was easier to connect.
Lightningheart and Skystrike hadn't been close before, but it didn't take long for them to connect as though they'd been childhood friends never separated. Lightningheart brought out Skystrike's smile and dumb sense of humor, and showed her the stories in the stars that got him through some of his worst times, which would later help her through some of her own. She never could return that favor. 
.
The end of Swipestar's Reign also allowed more room for Skystrike to bond with her sister, now named Moonflower. 
Moonflower was more serious than she had been when she returned to Fieldclan, but still retained her optimistic attitude-- even if she didn't always believe it. She couldn't see the best in everyone, but she was still willing to give the a chance. Moonflower was goofy and kind, easy to talk to and get along with. She could carry her own conversation, and all Skystrike had to do was listen. She had away of making things sound simple, like everything would be okay, however brief the feeling. 
It was easier to sleep when Moonflower sounded so bright and passionate, always alive and full of energy. She was reliable, even if she was impulsive or scatterbrained at times. She was always trying to cheer Skystrike up, even if she wasn't feeling great herself, and didn't push when Skystrike didn't want to speak. It was a lot more than most cats even tried. 
Skystrike wondered if Moonflower would try as hard to connect if they weren't littermates. She wondered how Moonflower didn't blame her for leading them out into that storm a lifetime ago. She wondered if she'd be hated if Moonflower knew that Skystrike hadn't been looking for her.
While Skystrike finally began acclimating to the new normal, Moonflower announced that she was pregnant with Cloudshade's kittens. When she gave birth to her two kittens, Shadowkit and Sagekit, she insisted that Skystrike be there, despite Skystrike's anxiety that she'd mess something up, that they wouldn't like her, or that she'd accidentally hurt them.
Exasperated, Moonflower made her curl around them just once; Skystrike practically melted when Shadowkit mewled, tiny and pathetic. 
She spent a lot more time with them after getting more comfortable, always happy to keep them warm if Moonflower needed a break, or entertain them with stories. Skystrike took it all too literally when Moonflower joked about being treated like a queen. She never deluded herself into thinking she was their second mother, but she did care for them almost as if they were her own.
=== Rabies Event #1 ===
When Skystrike was young-- too young for her time-altered memory to remember exactly when-- Marigoldpaw, now Marigoldsun, fell victim to rabies. 
The clan didn't know what was happening until she entered the furious stage, where it became apparent. When something snapped in the young warrior's brain, Skystrike was there, heading toward the medicine den from across camp to visit her friend. She didn't process the crazed look in her friend's eye, or register the attack quick enough to act, but Grayshine did, leaping in Marigoldsun's path to protect Skystrike. 
After taking Marigoldsun's life to protect Skystrike, Grayshine was the next one affected. It was only after she attacked someone else that Volestar stepped in to cull the affected cats before they could hurt anyone else. 
In a matter of only a couple weeks, around five cats had been killed, two of which were close friends. 
"Marigoldsun wasn't in her right mind," Grayshine had said after their scuffle. Skystrike knew it was true, but couldn't help the creeping doubt. Right mind or not, though, Skystrike should have been the one affected. Like Nightcough and Swipestar's War, Skystrike avoided it by pure, dumb luck that she didn't deserve. 
=== Fire ===
Fieldclan's territory is frequently burned, most often in controlled fires managed by twolegs. Fire is unpredictable, however; every once in a while, these fires spread or start on their own, spreading rapidly throughout the territory. Skystrike was caught in one of these fires, unrelated to the major fire event from the forum.
The fire hit in the middle of the night. Some cats woke up before it hit, waking the rest of camp for evacuation, but many cats were roused from deep sleep, groggy, confused, and uncomprehending of whatever was going on around them.
When the fire reached camp, Skystrike had once again been the lucky duck who wasn't there for it, having instead been out for a night stroll with Lightningheart. She'd spotted the blaze from afar, and the two hurried toward camp, making it back home at the same time as the rapidly-spreading fire.
Instead of running with the others, Skystrike continued forward into camp, ignoring the smoke and heat, panicking. She had to make sure her loved ones were safe: Robinsong, Moonflower, the kittens, anyone else who needed it. In the panic, cats stampeded over others to get out of the dens. In the smoke, it was difficult to see anything.
From somewhere nearby, Skystrike heard a weak cry, almost inaudible over the roaring flames. She didn't have time to search camp, couldn't evacuate everyone herself, so she grabbed Shadowkit and ran. She hadn't even noticed Sagekit huddled just behind him, tucked and just barely hidden in a sprouting sedge plant. She heard Shadowkit scream, but couldn't make out the words over the blood rushing in her own ears, jaws too-tight against his scruff. His voice gave out and his strength ebbed away by the time they reached safety.
Skystrike made it to the Burn Camp with minor burns on her paws and tail, feeling as though her lungs were on fire. Some cats flickered about in front of her hazy vision. She recognized Moonflower, frantically searching for her missing kittens, when the queen turned and ran up to her, relieved upon seeing Shadowkit still firmly in her jaws, covered in soot and too weak to cough but alive.
"Where is Sagekit?" Her sister asked, as she tried not to let the world tip over. "Where is Sagekit?"
Skystrike looked around, to see everyone staring at her. Lightningheart, coming to meet her. Runningbrook, watching her with a growing look of horror. Robinsong, rushing over to help, expression washed with concern. 
It was only in hindsight that Skystrike realized: where one kitten was, the other was never far behind. Later still, she would convince herself that she saw Sagekit and must have ignored her.
The world tipped over.
=== More Things ===
There are quite a few in-between events, most of which were lost to time. However, there are a few moments worth mentioning.
Throughout her life, Skystar experienced many tragedies. Many were small, seemingly insignificant in comparison to some of the major wars and spreading of diseases that plague her memory so clearly. Even if she cannot recall their details or when they occurred or who died of which cause, the events still affected the cat she would become.
Some of these events include, but are not limited to: prey shortages and famine, including poisonings and water contamination; harsh winters; plague and illness; intense heatwaves; and more.
==== Storytimes and the stars ====
Skystrike and Lightningheart grew closer after all the drama. From middle-age to seniors, they were nearly inseparable as friends and partners.
Skystrike often felt claustrophobic in camp, after the events of Swipestar's reign, so it was important for her to get out of camp. During the daytime, she would often spend time with the kittens, or training her newest apprentice. She loved telling made-up stories to the kittens, or telling them dramatisized versions of the clans' history from before she was born (often skipping details of her own lifetime, until she was old and distanced enough from those memories to speak of them).
At night, if she was feeling restless or needed some extra time out, she would often leave with Lightningheart. She couldn't say when or how it happened, but it became routine for the two of them to go to the top of "their" hill, lay back, and look up at the stars. Sometimes, they'd see an odd, flashing light against the sky leaving streaky clouds behind it, and other times they'd wish to falling stars. They'd discuss the constellations and make their own, making newer and more elaborate stories each time they came out.
One of Skystar's favorite constellations-- one Fieldclan likely already had-- is the one called "Anu's Paws," named after someone long forgotten. Skystrike was told, growing up, that these two intertwined paws represented a guiding force that watched over the clans. She always saw it as a guardian protecting their kitten or ward, until the end, even in death. (See: Anu's Paws [image link])
==== Parenting ====
Skystrike was always a very maternal cat. With every apprentice she had, she could change her approach to be the teacher and guardian they needed at any given point-- be that someone firm and rigid, or someone kind and understanding. For the kittens of the clan, she was always willing to stop and give them a good story, a listening ear, or just someone to play with. She always liked children, liked teaching them about the world.
Skystrike loved being an aunt for Shadowkit, loved looking out for him when Moonflower wasn't around, but never expected to have to raise him after her sister's unexpected death (and Malcolm/Cloudshade's death before that). 
Shadowkit was always independent, always wanting to explore regardless of what anyone told him, and to do everything he wasn't supposed to. He was an emotional kitten, easily prone to outbursts when upset. He'd lost both of his parents, and his littermate, within a span of just four moons due to circumstance. He had no sense of stability, and a constant fear that Skystrike and Lightningheat would be the next ones to go.
Shadowkit would often break into tears, curled up in Skystrike's belly, and the only thing she could do was hold him until he fell asleep.
When he got older, he grew more distant from Skystrike and his clanmates, avoiding almost everyone when he wasn't expected to work with them. Skystrike desperately wanted to help, but she was never good at offering consoling words. Lightningheart was much better at that. (And what kind of guardian was Skystrike, if her own ward avoided her? What kind of guardian was she, if she had to let her partner talk to him instead?)
Shadowpaw quickly matured into Shadowclaw, and she found it difficult to connect with him. She felt like she had missed so much of his life, and what right did she have to try to involve herself in his life? Not only had she missed his teenage years, but what right did she have to pretend to be his mother?
She watched, from a distance, as he grew into a capable warrior afraid of attachment, always trying to woo others but never getting attached or staying with one cat for long.
*
=== The Great Freeze ===
The Great Freeze, which occurred many years later, was a particularly harsh winter-- one of, if not the worst Skystar had experienced in her lifetime. Extreme blizzards, scarce prey, threats from predators entering their borders, and disease that spread like wildfire severely impacted all four clans.
During this winter, Skystrike watched most cats her age fall, from her nephew and ward, Shadowclaw, to her close friends and the leader she would have followed to the edge of the world.
It was a dark time, and one she wouldn't wish on any of the clans. Territory disputes were intense and bloody; warriors that didn't die on the battlefield would often succumb to hypothermia or infection in the days following. No one aimed to kill, but often their desperation shed them of their morals in the heat of battle. It was better to take the lives of other cats than to risk their own to starvation and predation-- especially in Fieldclan, where the snow concealed their best hiding spots from hungry predators, and the prey burrowed far below.
This event was the one in which she earned the large scar on her face. With her head in a coyote's mouth, she managed to pull away so that it couldn't crush her skull, but the teeth dug into and across her face as she did so. Already a non-expressive cat to begin with, she lost a lot of movement in her face. For a while, it made it difficult even just to eat, but she still had friends and family to force her to do it anyway.
Skystrike never expected to outlive Volestar. One of her closest friends, younger and with two more lives to spare, it must have been a sick joke by the universe when Skystrike was offered the leadership position in Volestar's dying breath after Burrfrost's death-- an offer which she declined.
Yarrowstar became leader in Skystrike's stead, but appointed Skystrike as her deputy. While Skystrike didn't feel like a leader, she took up the position anyway. To be deputy was something she could do-- and something she proved to excel at, doing her best to keep Fieldclan going and get them back on their feet throughout the Freeze and afterwards.
When the weather started to warm noticably, and prey began to return, Skystrike could almost start to breathe normally again. She was still alive. Robinsong and Patchfur, like parents to her, were still alive. Lightningheart was still alive. Bramblestrike, more acquaintance than friend but quickly becoming close, was still alive. Maybe they could make it through.
She had to say goodbye to her best friends, her son, her apprentices, to so many that she loved, but at least she wasn't alone.
When Lightningheart died of Nightcough, a mere week after Skystrike allowed herself to think they'd be okay, she screamed. Normally unexpressive, normally uptight, cold, and strict, normally closed-off and reserved, quiet unless spoken to, she broke down.
She still had Robinsong. Robinsong and Patchfur were expecting a litter. 
Patchfur didn't live long enough to see his daughters' births.
But she still had Robinsong, and quietly clung to her for comfort. She now had Bramblestrike, who knew what she was going through just as much.
She couldn't pretend things would be okay, but she could drown herself in work. Patrol, hunt, rebuild camp, help to heal the injured and sick, restock herbs. She was exactly what a deputy should be. She and everyone else were overworked and exhausted, but they did what they had to to keep going.
When Cinderkit and Heatherkit were born, Skystrike could almost be reminded of those first weeks with Moonflower's litter, though far more bittersweet. It was hard to get attached to them, hard to find room in her grieving heart, but it was calming just to have that distraction that wasn't just work. Something new to focus on, to keep her going.
She had an apprentice, too, in Leafpaw. Leafpaw was nervous about the world, and shy around her clanmates. She was kind and soft-spoken, and forced Skystrike to slow down and relax, just a bit. after all the hardship, Leafpaw was another small miracle that kept her going. What Leafpaw needed was someone kind and nurturing to show her the world and build up her confidence. Skystar had a hard time expressing emotion or letting others in, but she didn't have a choice with this kitten that needed someone to nurture her into a kind and confident adult.
Skystrike always grew attached to apprentices, but she had an extra soft spot for this orphan she was left to raise, though she'd never admit it. 
The deputy also had help training Leafpaw thanks to Bramblestrike, who she had become extra close with after Lightningheart's death. The two would never be best friends, but they were almost never seen apart, practically latching onto each other for comfort. SKystrike had Robinfeather still, but Bramblestrike had no one. She didn't complain when he began sticking close to her side whenever possible.
Some could look at their relationship and falsely assume it was romantic-- as many did-- but others might look upon their relationship and see a tragic codependence. They could hardly handle being apart, clinging to one of the only other cats they knew from childhood-- one of the only other cats who could know what they had been through.
Skystrike was almost apathetic when Robinsong died. The grief hit her like the hooves of stampeding elk, but she couldn't find it in her to cry when the elder died. At least, not until days after when it truly sunk in.
Robinsong had been declining for a while. Her memory failed her, and she'd grown increasingly distressed. Skystrike had expected her death, had hoped it would come quickly so that she didn't have to suffer and so that her children didn't have to see it; it was almost a relief on the day it came. The cat she loved so much could finally find peace-- although a similar part of Skystrike argued that there could be none. If the Wildwalkers existed as Skystrike had been taught, how could they allow for so much tragedy?
=== Rise of Skystar ===
[To be added later]
When Yarrowstar died, after a long struggle with chronic illness that lasted throughout greenleaf, Skystrike had to take over as leader. While she had been acting in Yarrowstar's stead for many moons, it was different to have the title.
A name was a promise, dedicating oneself to taking care of the entire clan until their dying breath. Receiving a name meant turning down any opportunity for retirement or rest. Skystrike had already been acting leader, and she fit the role perfectly. True leader was a separate thing entirely-- a role she knew all too well that she could never fit. With all others being young and inexperienced, Bramblestrike just as old and weary as she was, and with Yarrowstar already gone, her only option was to take the name.
She left in the evening with Siltpaw to guide her path. On the way out, a fierce, cold wind pierced them.
Skystrike couldn't feel the presence of others until she began drifting to sleep. She felt herself nearly lift from her body, and felt the energies around her spike.
As she tried to rise, tried to meet them, it felt almost as if they caved in on her-- three cats whose memories played all at once as though they were her own, writhing for purchase. Each one played as clearly as the last, each story pulling Skystar's emotions different ways, all at the same time, each story layering over the next.
Skystrike's iron grip on control and reality slipped from her grasp as she experienced three lifetimes in only moments.
When she awoke, she felt unreal-- not an unfamiliar feeling, but different from her usual-- somewhere between seeing herself from an outside perspective as Siltpaw checked in to make sure she was okay, and listening as though half-drowned and delirious from within, his words muffled and her own body weak, out of her own control. 
She awoke as Skystar, blessed with the spirits of Fallenstar, Nightshade, and a kitten she had never known in her own lifetime. She awoke, and left behind a life she could never get back.
----Skystar and Siltpaw waded through the aftermath of a blizzard to return home. Upon return, just after dawn, they found that nearly half of the clan had gotten separated in the blizzard and were still missing, including Silentlight, Morningpaw, the medicine cat Elkheart, and Mightykit and Eaglekit. 
Silentlight, Morningpaw, and Elkheart were together somewhere outside of camp. No one knew where, and it would be foolish to send warriors to look after the blizzard, when the cats would already be dead if they hadn't found ample shelter. That left the kittens as the number one priority for the search and rescue team, as they had to be in or near camp, and could have gone missing at any point in the night.
Skystar's first mistake as a leader was leaving the search to those foolish enough to believe a kitten could survive, as both were eventually found alive, trapped in an insulating fort beneath the snow. Skystar did not try to look.
Some cats would see the sudden timing of the blizzard and consider it an omen-- a sign that Skystar would lead them to ruin. Silentlight, they all knew, had been injured, as Morningpaw had come into camp the previous evening, just before the snow, shouting for Elkheart. A warrior was injured, both medicine cats were gone, the leader was dead, and the deputy was travelling through the blizzard at its peak. When the leader returned, she did not help look for the missing kittens; later, the other missing cats returned, with Morningpaw carried between them half-frozen. 
Bad luck or bad omen, only time would tell. At least no one died, a miracle in itself.
She named Martensong her deputy. Much of the clan were confused by the decision, as Bramblestrike seemed the obvious choice. Skystar knew, though, that he would soon tire of his working life, and she would not place her burden on someone who deserved the rest. Had she not been deputy or leader, Skystar would have retired as soon as Leafpaw received her warrior name. Leaders could retire if they so chose, but Skystar did not afford herself such kindness.
----As a deputy, Skystrike had been strong and confident, quiet but stern and distant. She was disciplined and ran a tight schedule, made sure everything was got done that needed done, even if it meant wearing her warriors thin. She was a fair deputy, dividing duties as evenly as possible even with as few of them as there were, and still making time for her apprentice, Leafpaw, and Morningpaw who trained with them.
As a mentor, Skystar was stern but gentle, nurturing what she could in Leafpaw and adjusting her training style based on what she and Morningpaw needed. 
As an official leader, Skystar's attention seemed to be demanded over even more places. Perhaps it was the blizzard or perhaps it was the stress of the ceremony itself, or the stress of early losing Morningpaw to the cold, but she seemed to lose a part of herself-- a part she thought she had already lost.
She already seemed emotionless or cold to many of her clanmates, handing out orders without getting to know the cats under her care, scarred face bare of emotion. She'd always made a point to show the kinder part of herself to those who needed it, but even that wore thin over time, with age, not all of it noticable right away.
As a leader, Skystar kept herself busy more than ever before, more than a cat her age should have done. She kept everyone else busy, in turn, and it only got worse after Leaffeather earned her warrior name. She marched on like a robot soldier, glossy-gazed without so much as an ear twitch to those around her if she was not directly spoken to
The stress of the leader's ceremony and blizzard, and the added weight of the official title as leader, weighed on Skystar, but it was time and age that would reinforce and worsen it. It was not an overnight shift.
----
==== Rabies Event #2 ====
* Warrior/Apprentice Ceremony
* Sorrelstrike's illness and the hazy confusion as he stumbled out of the medicine den behind the oblivious, defenseless, unassuming crowd
* Aggressive response toward him and spectators, little explanation given (flashbacks, panic, fearful of him attacking and the disease spreading, remembering her friends)
* Bramblestrike stepping in before tension can escalate; calming Skystar down and stepping in so she doesn't have to. Being the voice of reason calmly approaching a heavy situation and taking care of things himself.
* Skystar gets the worse judgement from the clan, on account of how poorly she handled it and her aggressive fear response; she also feels guilty and blames herself for how she handled it. No one blames Bramblestrike, who actively took Sorrelstrike's life with no witnesses.
==== Seaclan's Patrol ====
There are two versions of this event:
- Timeline 1, The Dark Timeline, which Cinderpaw lived through before time travel shenanigans: 
Skystar met a Seaclan patrol at the border, requesting aid for their doomed clan. They received a vision that a bloody disease would ravage their camp, and that they had to find Skystar to reconnect with their history and remember the cure. It's a chance for Skystar to redeem herself by offering help to the very cats that helped Fieldclan once, when she was very young. Skystar meets Seaclan with hostility and sends them away. 
Whether Karma or a twisted series of events, Skystar falls ill and dies days later from Nightcough, losing her first life. No one else is infected. 
-Timeline 2, the Main RP: 
Just before their arrival, Skystar lost the final cat tying her to Fieldclan as she had grown up with. With him gone, her anger worsened and decisions became more rash, the holes in her memory ever-expansive. She continuously put off important ceremonies, and her leadership decisions were increasingly erratic and nonsensical. 
She was convinced by Cinderpaw and Leaffeather, to join them and Bluefeather on an Off-Territory border patrol, where they encountered Seaclan. Skystar met them with just as much hostility as before. Unlike then, however, the other patrol members talked her down before she could chase them out herself; Leaffeather used daughter privileges to soften Skystar's anger, even in her high-strung state, whereaas Cinderpaw used a more reasonable approach, reminding Skystar of rash decisions she had made in the past. 
She questioned Seaclan, bringing up the worst parts of their history, testing their knowledge and resolve, before sending Leaffeather back to camp for reinforcements, to get her out of the way if a fight broke out. 
When she agreed to let them stay in camp, it was only because she couldn't figure out the solution to their problem with her frazzled mental state, couldn't send them away instantly with a quick answer, and because the rest of the patrol was there to hold her accountable for the agreement she had already made. She vaguelly remembered that she was supposed to move them along to the Spring Camp, so there was little risk involved if they left to get reinforcements of their own. 
In the days following, her memory continued to fail her, her own pride and stubbornness preventing any sort of a connection from forming between the clans, as she treated them like prisoners confined to only the camp. 
It was only when she succumbed to a respiratory illness that she connected the dots and realized what it was that Seaclan was searching for a cure for-- Nightcough. She informed only Elkheart of her findings, paranoid that they must have spread it; they could not be given the cure because they had given the disease to Fieldclan, who needed all of the rare bitter root they could get. They were not kicked out mostly because Skystar could hardly find the strength to lift her head, muscles weak and fever raging. 
While she was ill, the clan silently prepared for her death; with her age, they couldn't imagine she would wake up, even with three lives to spare. If age did not claim her along with the disease, it wouldn't be a stretch for her to fall ill again, and again, like Yarrowstar before her. Leaffeather remained at her side throughout, and she convinced herself, in her feverish state, that Bramblestrike was there as well. 
Whether or not Skystar lost a life is unknown, although she certainly would have evicted Seaclan immediately upon recovery if she thought so. She recovered, however, somehow duller and skinnier than when she started, breath still rattling in her lungs and eyes figuratively half-glazed. 
When Cloudstar approached her, requesting to speak alone after she forgot to address them, she agreed and led him out of camp, too weary to be as guarded as before. She informed him of the disease and its cure, telling him to speak with Elkheart for more information on where it grew and to see it for himself, because he'd have to be able to find it in his own territory; she would and could not spare enough to make the journey back. 
Just before heading back, a cat tore through the territory ahead, a fox slobbering at her heels. Cloudstar could smell milk, noticed the roundness of her belly full of unborn kits. 
Skystar would have turned the other way and left the loners to their fate, had she had a patrol with her. As it was, it was only herself and a dispensable stranger; she couldn't care less about his fate, but she knew she wouldn't come out alive if she chose to attack-- a noble death, fighting off a fox that could harm her clan if she let it live, going the same way as many family before her rather than waiting until she wasted away. 
Cloudstar attacked its head while Skystar bit into its back leg, attempting to cut an artery while her stiff joints and crackling lungs prevented aerodynamic movements. The animal bit into Cloudstar's neck, then turned on Skystar, mauling her beyond recognition. 
Skystar's body was torn into and consumed before Cinderpaw raced in and finished the fox off, with time to spare to hear Skystar's final breath. Her body was too mangled to be brought to camp for a vigil. 
[End of Skystar's Reign in the Main Timeline, as RPed]
When Skystar died, something went wrong. Instead of her spirit continuing on as a Wildwalker, it was forced too soon into its next life. 
Skystar is remembered by select Wildwalkers as Skyblaze, a name chosen to represent the cat Skystar wanted to be, rather than what she actually was. A subtle nudge, encouraging her toward her blazing her own trail, rather than following the one laid out for her. Instead, her mother pushed for the name Skystrike, honoring her skill and accuracy in battle, her readiness to follow instruction, despite her aversion to violence. 
Her memory within the clan is varied, with some holding her in high respect for her age and past deeds, while others scorn the cat she had become, bitter and cold at the best of times. She is honored for her death and the lives she saved, but those that opposed her and those that knew her best doubted that her motives were so kind as they appeared. 
----
----
----"Always a cat who hid her emotions, she continued with life as a ghost within her clan. She sent out patrols and planned border measures almost mechanically. The words that spilled from her mouth never seemed to reach her ears, and it never felt like she was the one in her body. It felt like she was the spectator for someone else's life."
-This was written on her original wiki page; I liked it, so I'm putting it here in case I want to edit it in later.
== Miscellaneous Events ==
Skystar has, canonically, lived through many great events in the clans' history. Many of those were lost to time and could not effectively be inserted into her history section. I have no idea when these happened, only that they did.
1. While out hunting with Nightshade, a very young Skypaw refused to kill a nest of helpless rabbit kittens. Nightshade, in response, gave every excuse in the book, saying that their lives didn't matter, or that something else would get them anyway, et cetera, ignoring Skypaw's feelings on the matter. Skypaw eventually caved and helped kill and carry them back. Nightshade would then joke about teenagers being so moody and sensitive to her friends while Skypaw sulked in the apprentice's den. (Now, as a leader, Skystar no longer hesitates to kill helpless prey.)
Moon's kittens should be deleted from the current history section, and should come into play later.
== Other ==
* Skystar was born into the server on FFN, and was originally played by Frostfeather1. When he left, she was abandoned until she was taken over by Shadow of the Raven's Wing in 2015/2016, who didn't use her until the server restart of 2020.
*If Shadow were to remake her, they would name her Nightsky. To show her mother's selfishness, and to really rub in the childhood trauma, but also because it is a name she could reclaim on her own. Skystrike canonically wasn't a fan of her name, but that tiny detail would be far more significant if she was named after her abusive parent. She also canonically learns to love the night sky, and loves to imagine shapes and stories in the sky. she might start out hating it, but reclaiming it would be that much more meaningful.
*Skystar's memories, in her old age, are not very cohesive. Large chunks were forgotten entirely, or she can't quite recall every name, events jumbled to the point where she wonders if they happened at all. 
*
Category:Fieldclan Cats
Category:Leaders
Category:Wildwalkers
Category:Characters