List of Two and a Half Men episodes

Two and a Half Men is a CBS sitcom that premiered on September 22, 2003. Almost every episode's title is a phrase said by one of the characters in that episode. The three exceptions are the pilot episode and the episodes "Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor" (season 1) and "Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers" (season 2). The latter episode does fit the criterion, but the quote was part of a deleted scene which Chuck Lorre explains in the episode's vanity card.
Three episode titles are not direct quotes: "Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snootful" (season 1), "Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead" (season 8), and "Who's Vod Kanockers?" (season 4). Charlie states "I'm not going to face all those pre-pubers without a snootful", but the number twenty-five is never mentioned. When Charlie sings his song called "Chocolate Diddlers", Alan only suggests that it sounds more like "My Puppy's Dead". Jake actually asks "Who is this Vod Kanockers that you speak of?"; however, on the DVD release, that episode is titled "Who Is This Vod Kanockers?".
On March 13, 2014, Two and a Half Men was renewed for a 12th season, which was announced the following May to be the final season,[1] and premiered on October 30, 2014.[2][3] During the course of the series, 262 episodes of Two and a Half Men aired over 12 seasons. Jon Cryer was the only cast member to appear in every episode of the series.
== Series overview ==
Season	Season	Episodes	Episodes	Originally aired 	Originally aired 	Nielsen ratings[4][5]	Nielsen ratings[4][5]
Season	Season	Episodes	Episodes	First aired 	Last aired 	Rank 	Rating
 	1 	24 	24 	September 22, 2003	May 24, 2004 	14 	9.9
 	2 	24 	24 	September 20, 2004	May 23, 2005 	11 	10.6
 	3 	24 	24 	September 19, 2005	May 22, 2006 	13 	9.7
 	4 	24 	24 	September 18, 2006	May 14, 2007 	14 	9.1
 	5 	19 	19 	September 24, 2007	May 19, 2008 	15 	8.5
 	6 	24 	24 	September 22, 2008	May 18, 2009 	12 	9.1
 	7 	22 	22 	September 21, 2009	May 24, 2010 	12 	8.9
 	8 	16 	16 	September 20, 2010	February 14, 2011	16 	7.7
 	9 	24 	24 	September 19, 2011	May 14, 2012 	11 	9.1
 	10 	23 	23 	September 27, 2012	May 9, 2013 	10 	8.7
 	11 	22 	22 	September 26, 2013	May 8, 2014 	27 	6.8
 	12 	16 	16 	October 30, 2014 	February 19, 2015	23 	7.5
== Episodes ==
=== Season 1 (2003–04) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
1 	1 	"Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal" 	James Burrows 	Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	September 22, 2003	18.44[6]
2 	2 	"Big Flappy Bastards" 	Andy Ackerman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky& Jeff Abugov	September 29, 2003	16.18[7]
3 	3 	"Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell" 	Andy Ackerman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Lee Aronsohn	October 6, 2003 	14.82[8]
4 	4 	"If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap"	Andy Ackerman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster	October 13, 2003 	14.73[9]
5 	5 	"The Last Thing You Want is to Wind Up with a Hump" 	Andy Ackerman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jeff Abugov	October 20, 2003 	15.24[10]
6 	6 	"Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?" 	Andy Ackerman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster	October 27, 2003 	15.82[11]
7 	7 	"If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake" 	Andy Ackerman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Lee Aronsohn	November 3, 2003 	16.02[12]
8 	8 	"Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snootful" 	Chuck Lorre 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jeff Abugov	November 10, 2003 	15.81[13]
9 	9 	"Phase One, Complete" 	Andy Ackerman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster	November 17, 2003 	15.98[14]
10	10	"Merry Thanksgiving" 	Jay Sandrich 	Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 24, 2003 	17.14[15]
11	11	"Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor" 	Robert Berlinger	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts	December 15, 2003 	14.77[16]
12	12	"Camel Filters and Pheromones" 	Robert Berlinger	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Mark Roberts	January 5, 2004 	16.75[17]
13	13	"Sarah Like Puny Alan" 	Robert Berlinger	Story by : Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster	January 12, 2004 	17.86[18]
14	14	"I Can't Afford Hyenas" 	Rob Schiller 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Eddie Gorodetsky	February 2, 2004 	16.48[19]
15	15	"Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick" 	Andrew D. Weyman	Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	February 9, 2004 	16.96[20]
16	16	"That Was Saliva, Alan" 	Andrew D. Weyman	Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	February 16, 2004 	17.39[21]
17	17	"Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats" 	Andrew D. Weyman	Story by : Jeff Abugov & Eric Lapidus 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts	February 23, 2004 	16.48[22]
18	18	"An Old Flame with a New Wick" 	Andrew D. Weyman	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts	March 1, 2004 	17.10[23]
19	19	"I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You" 	Gail Mancuso 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	March 22, 2004 	16.43[24]
20	20	"Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Mark Roberts	April 19, 2004 	14.58[25]
21	21	"No Sniffing, No Wowing" 	Rob Schiller 	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster	May 3, 2004 	16.20[26]
22	22	"My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet" 	Gail Mancuso 	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky	May 10, 2004 	16.00[27]
23	23	"Just Like Buffalo" 	Rob Schiller 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster	May 17, 2004 	15.20[28]
24	24	"Can You Feel My Finger?" 	Rob Schiller 	Story by: Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	May 24, 2004 	18.16[29]
=== Season 2 (2004–05) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
25	1 	"Back Off, Mary Poppins" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn& Susan Beavers	September 20, 2004	16.44[30]
26	2 	"Enjoy Those Garlic Balls" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	September 27, 2004	16.44[31]
27	3 	"A Bag Full of Jawea" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Mark Roberts	October 4, 2004 	16.43[32]
28	4 	"Go Get Mommy's Bra" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky	October 11, 2004 	17.15[33]
29	5 	"Bad News from the Clinic?" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Jeff Abugov	October 18, 2004 	16.28[34]
30	6 	"The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance"	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky	October 25, 2004 	17.25[35]
31	7 	"A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 8, 2004 	16.04[36]
32	8 	"Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Don Foster & Jeff Abugov 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 15, 2004 	17.47[37]
33	9 	"Yes, Monsignor" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Susan Beavers	November 22, 2004 	18.94[38]
34	10	"The Salmon Under My Sweater" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 29, 2004 	17.88[39]
35	11	"Last Chance to See Those Tattoos" 	Pamela Fryman 	Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	December 13, 2004 	16.22[40]
36	12	"A Lungful of Alan" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky	January 3, 2005 	18.03[41]
37	13	"Zejdz z Moich Wlosów (a.k.a. Get Off My Hair)" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	January 17, 2005 	18.14[42]
38	14	"Those Big Pink Things with Coconut" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jeff Abugov	January 31, 2005 	17.01[43]
39	15	"Smell the Umbrella Stand" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers	February 7, 2005 	16.75[44]
40	16	"Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers	February 14, 2005 	16.78[45]
41	17	"Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	February 21, 2005 	17.50[46]
42	18	"It Was 'Mame,' Mom" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts	March 7, 2005 	17.45[47]
43	19	"A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	March 21, 2005 	15.92[48]
44	20	"I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey" 	Asaad Kelada 	Story by : Susan Beavers & Jeff Abugov 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	April 18, 2005 	17.13[49]
45	21	"A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky	May 2, 2005 	17.93[50]
46	22	"That Old Hose Bag is My Mother" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster	May 9, 2005 	17.96[51]
47	23	"Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab" 	J.D. Lobue 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster	May 16, 2005 	24.24[52]
48	24	"Does This Smell Funny to You?" 	Pamela Fryman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jeff Abugov	May 23, 2005 	14.37[53]
=== Season 3 (2005–06) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
49	1 	"Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts"	Gary Halvorson	Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	September 19, 2005	15.04[54]
50	2 	"Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by: Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	September 26, 2005	14.37[55]
51	3 	"Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster	October 3, 2005 	14.21[56]
52	4 	"Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts	October 10, 2005 	15.24[57]
53	5 	"We Called It Mr. Pinky" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by: Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	October 17, 2005 	15.56[58]
54	6 	"Hi, Mr. Horned One" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	October 24, 2005 	16.77[59]
55	7 	"Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 7, 2005 	16.19[60]
56	8 	"That Voodoo That I Do Do" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts	November 14, 2005 	15.17[61]
57	9 	"Madame and Her Special Friend" 	Asaad Kelada 	Story by : Jeff Abugov & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 21, 2005 	15.74[62]
58	10	"Something Salted and Twisted" 	Rob Schiller 	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 28, 2005 	16.53[63]
59	11	"Santa's Village of the Damned" 	Rob Schiller 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers	December 19, 2005 	17.71[64]
60	12	"That Special Tug" 	Rob Schiller 	Story by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	January 9, 2006 	17.20[65]
61	13	"Humiliation is a Visual Medium" 	Rob Schiller 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky	January 23, 2006 	17.07[66]
62	14	"Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Jeff Abugov 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers	February 6, 2006 	16.33[67]
63	15	"My Tongue is Meat" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	February 27, 2006 	17.04[68]
64	16	"Ergo, the Booty Call" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers	March 6, 2006 	17.06[69]
65	17	"The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky	March 13, 2006 	17.37[70]
66	18	"The Spit-Covered Cobbler" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	March 20, 2006 	16.72[71]
67	19	"Golly Moses, She's a Muffin" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky	April 10, 2006 	14.05[72]
68	20	"Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro" 	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster	April 24, 2006 	14.47[73]
69	21	"And the Plot Moistens" 	Jerry Zaks 	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts	May 1, 2006 	14.31[74]
70	22	"Just Once with Aunt Sophie" 	Lee Aronsohn 	Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre	May 8, 2006 	14.87[75]
71	23	"Arguments for the Quickie" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	May 15, 2006 	11.04[76]
72	24	"That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster	May 22, 2006 	15.51[77]
=== Season 4 (2006–07) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
73	1 	"Working for Caligula" 	Gary Halvorson 	Lee Aronsohn& Chuck Lorre	September 18, 2006	15.09[78]
74	2 	"Who's Vod Kanockers?" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	September 25, 2006	15.28[79]
75	3 	"The Sea is a Harsh Mistress" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts	October 2, 2006 	15.80[80]
76	4 	"A Pot Smoking Monkey" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Bill Prady & Maria Espada Pearce 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers	October 9, 2006 	16.38[81]
77	5 	"A Live Woman of Proven Fertility" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	October 16, 2006 	16.25[82]
78	6 	"Apologies for the Frivolity" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts	October 23, 2006 	15.03[83]
79	7 	"Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	November 6, 2006 	14.48[84]
80	8 	"Release the Dogs" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 13, 2006 	15.83[85]
81	9 	"Corey's Been Dead for an Hour" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre	November 20, 2006 	15.04[86]
82	10	"Kissing Abe Lincoln" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 27, 2006 	15.50[87]
83	11	"Walnuts and Demerol" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	December 11, 2006 	15.69[88]
84	12	"Castrating Sheep in Montana" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky	January 8, 2007 	14.78[89]
85	13	"Don't Worry, Speed Racer" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	January 22, 2007 	15.85[90]
86	14	"That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	February 5, 2007 	17.68[91]
87	15	"My Damn Stalker" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky	February 12, 2007 	15.50[92]
88	16	"Young People Have Phlegm Too" 	Andrew D. Weyman	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	February 19, 2007 	16.56[93]
89	17	"I Merely Slept with a Commie" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	February 26, 2007 	16.58[94]
90	18	"It Never Rains in Hooterville" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts	March 19, 2007 	11.68[95]
91	19	"Smooth as a Ken Doll" 	Gary Halvorson 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster	April 9, 2007 	13.46[96]
92	20	"Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot" 	Jerry Zaks 	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre	April 16, 2007 	13.03[97]
93	21	"Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous" 	Jerry Zaks 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster	April 23, 2007 	12.27[98]
94	22	"Mr. McGlue's Feedbag" 	Jon Cryer 	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Don Foster	April 30, 2007 	13.71[99]
95	23	"Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'"	Lee Aronsohn 	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Mark Roberts & Jim Patterson	May 7, 2007 	13.27[100]
96	24	"Prostitutes and Gelato" 	Ted Wass 	Story by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	May 14, 2007 	10.16[101]
=== Season 5 (2007–08) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
97 	1 	"Large Birds, Spiders and Mom" 	Ted Wass 	Story by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre	September 24, 2007	13.58[102]
98 	2 	"Media Room Slash Dungeon" 	Ted Wass 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	October 1, 2007 	13.24[102]
99 	3 	"Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo" 	Ted Wass 	Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre	October 8, 2007 	13.02[102]
100	4 	"City of Great Racks" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Don Foster & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	October 15, 2007 	13.69[102]
101	5 	"Putting Swim Fins on a Cat" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	October 22, 2007 	13.94[103]
102	6 	"Help Daddy Find His Toenail" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	October 29, 2007 	13.73[102]
103	7 	"Our Leather Gear is in the Guest Room"	Ted Wass 	Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 5, 2007 	13.80[102]
104	8 	"Is There a Mrs. Waffles?" 	Ted Wass 	Story by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 12, 2007 	14.12[102]
105	9 	"Tight's Good" 	Jean Sagal 	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	November 19, 2007 	13.92[102]
106	10	"Kinda Like Necrophilia" 	Ted Wass 	Story by : Jim Patterson & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	November 26, 2007 	15.26[102]
107	11	"Meander to Your Dander" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	March 17, 2008 	14.06[102]
108	12	"A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	March 24, 2008 	14.23[102]
109	13	"The Soil is Moist" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	March 31, 2008 	14.50[102]
110	14	"Winky-Dink Time" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	April 14, 2008 	13.94[102]
111	15	"Rough Night in Hump Junction" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	April 21, 2008 	13.36[102]
112	16	"Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty" 	Joel Zwick 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster & Susan Beavers	April 28, 2008 	12.91[102]
113	17	"Fish in a Drawer" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Carol Mendelsohn& Naren Shankar 
Teleplay by : Sarah Goldfinger & Evan Dunsky	May 5, 2008 	13.61[102]
114	18	"If My Hole Could Talk" 	Jon Cryer 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Mark Roberts	May 12, 2008 	13.82[102]
115	19	"Waiting for the Right Snapper" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre	May 19, 2008 	14.70[102]
=== Season 6 (2008–09) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
116	1 	"Taterhead is Our Love Child" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Jim Patterson	September 22, 2008	14.88[104]
117	2 	"Pie Hole, Herb" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky& Susan Beavers	September 29, 2008	13.58[105]
118	3 	"Damn You, Eggs Benedict" 	Jean Sagal 	Story by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	October 6, 2008 	14.07[106]
119	4 	"The Flavin' and the Mavin'" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	October 13, 2008 	N/A
120	5 	"A Jock Strap in Hell" 	Jean Sagal 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers	October 20, 2008 	14.63
121	6 	"It's Always Nazi Week" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Jim Patterson	November 3, 2008 	N/A
122	7 	"Best H.O. Money Can Buy" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	November 10, 2008 	N/A
123	8 	"Pinocchio's Mouth" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson	November 17, 2008 	N/A
124	9 	"The Mooch at the Boo" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers	November 24, 2008 	N/A
125	10	"He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers	December 8, 2008 	N/A
126	11	"The Devil's Lube" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	December 15, 2008 	N/A
127	12	"Thank God for Scoliosis" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts	January 12, 2009 	N/A
128	13	"I Think You Offended Don" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Don Foster & Jim Patterson	January 19, 2009 	N/A
129	14	"David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie"	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson	February 2, 2009 	N/A
130	15	"I'd Like to Start with the Cat" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Susan Beavers	February 9, 2009 	N/A
131	16	"She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	March 2, 2009 	N/A
132	17	"The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster	March 9, 2009 	N/A
133	18	"My Son's Enormous Head" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky	March 16, 2009 	N/A
134	19	"The Two Finger Rule" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	March 30, 2009 	N/A
135	20	"Hello, I am Alan Cousteau" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky	April 13, 2009 	N/A
136	21	"Above Exalted Cyclops" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	April 27, 2009 	N/A
137	22	"Sir Lancelot's Litter Box" 	Jon Cryer 	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	May 4, 2009 	N/A
138	23	"Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth" 	Mark Roberts 	Story by : Don Foster & Sid Youngers 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky	May 11, 2009 	N/A
139	24	"Baseball Was Better with Steroids" 	Lee Aronsohn 	Story by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	May 18, 2009 	N/A
=== Season 7 (2009–10) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
140	1 	"818-jklpuzo" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster & Susan Beavers	September 21, 2009	13.63[107]
141	2 	"Whipped Unto the Third Generation" 	James Widdoes	Mark Roberts	September 28, 2009	13.86[108]
142	3 	"Mmm, Fish. Yum." 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	October 5, 2009 	13.07[109]
143	4 	"Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts	October 12, 2009 	14.17[110]
144	5 	"For the Sake of the Child" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson	October 19, 2009 	14.07[111]
145	6 	"Give Me Your Thumb" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : David Richardson	November 2, 2009 	13.51[112]
146	7 	"Untainted by Filth" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	November 9, 2009 	14.44[113]
147	8 	"Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle." 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	November 16, 2009 	13.69[114]
148	9 	"Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts	November 23, 2009 	13.91[115]
149	10	"That's Why They Call It Ball Room" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	December 7, 2009 	14.84[116]
150	11	"Warning, It's Dirty" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster	December 14, 2009 	16.37[117]
151	12	"Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & David Richardson	January 11, 2010 	17.27[118]
152	13	"Yay, No Polyps!" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Jim Patterson	January 18, 2010 	16.20[119]
153	14	"Crude and Uncalled For" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky	February 1, 2010 	16.51[120]
154	15	"Aye, Aye, Captain Douche" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Jim Patterson	February 8, 2010 	17.66[121]
155	16	"Tinkle Like a Princess" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Jim Patterson	March 1, 2010 	16.86[122]
156	17	"I Found Your Moustache" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	March 8, 2010 	17.61[123]
157	18	"Ixnay on the Oggie Day" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts	March 22, 2010 	14.46[124]
158	19	"Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave"	James Widdoes	Story by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	April 12, 2010 	13.71[125]
159	20	"I Called Him Magoo" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Susan Beavers	May 10, 2010 	13.86[126]
160	21	"Gumby with a Pokey" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers & David Richardson 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	May 17, 2010 	13.28[127]
161	22	"This is Not Gonna End Well" 	Lee Aronsohn 	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers, Jim Patterson & David Richardson	May 24, 2010 	15.46[128]
=== Season 8 (2010–11) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
162	1 	"Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky	September 20, 2010	14.65[129]
163	2 	"A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	September 27, 2010	13.92[130]
164	3 	"A Pudding-Filled Cactus" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & David Richardson
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers	October 4, 2010 	14.37[131]
165	4 	"Hookers, Hookers, Hookers" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Jim Patterson	October 11, 2010 	13.47[132]
166	5 	"The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	October 18, 2010 	13.54[133]
167	6 	"Twanging Your Magic Clanger" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	October 25, 2010 	13.77[134]
168	7 	"The Crazy Bitch Gazette" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	November 1, 2010 	13.64[135]
169	8 	"Springtime on a Stick" 	James Widdoes	Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	November 8, 2010 	13.63[136]
170	9 	"A Good Time in Central Africa" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	November 15, 2010 	14.25[137]
171	10	"Ow, Ow, Don't Stop" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Don Reo & David Richardson	November 22, 2010 	14.39[138]
172	11	"Dead from the Waist Down" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Susan Beavers, David Richardson & Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	December 6, 2010 	13.41[139]
173	12	"Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	December 13, 2010 	13.95[140]
174	13	"Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup"[141] 	James Widdoes	Story by : Alissa Neubauer 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Don Reo & David Richardson	January 3, 2011 	15.36[142]
175	14	"Lookin' for Japanese Subs" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson	January 17, 2011 	15.56[143]
176	15	"Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak"	James Widdoes	Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	February 7, 2011 	15.15[144]
177	16	"That Darn Priest" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, David Richardson & Don Reo	February 14, 2011 	14.51[145]
=== Season 9 (2011–12) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
178	1 	"Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt"	James Widdoes	Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky& Jim Patterson 	September 19, 2011	28.74[146]
179	2 	"People Who Love Peepholes" 	James Widdoes	Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	September 26, 2011	20.52[147]
180	3 	"Big Girls Don't Throw Food" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Andrew J. B. Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	October 3, 2011 	17.71[148]
181	4 	"Nine Magic Fingers" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	October 10, 2011 	16.20[149]
182	5 	"A Giant Cat Holding a Churro" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Don Reo & David Richardson	October 17, 2011 	15.14[150]
183	6 	"The Squat and the Hover" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Don Reo & David Richardson	October 24, 2011 	15.29[151]
184	7 	"Those Fancy Japanese Toilets" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	October 31, 2011 	13.90[152]
185	8 	"Thank You for the Intercourse" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Susan McMartin 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	November 7, 2011 	14.71[153]
186	9 	"Frodo's Headshots" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Don Reo & David Richardson	November 14, 2011 	14.77[154]
187	10	"A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Gemma Baker 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	November 21, 2011 	15.82[155]
188	11	"What a Lovely Landing Strip" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo	December 5, 2011 	15.18[156]
189	12	"One False Move, Zimbabwe!" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Reo	December 12, 2011 	14.88[157]
190	13	"Slowly and in a Circular Fashion"	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Ashton Kutcher 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	January 2, 2012 	13.94[158]
191	14	"A Possum on Chemo" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Susan Beavers & Susan McMartin 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson	January 16, 2012 	13.02[159]
192	15	"The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo	February 6, 2012 	13.00[160]
193	16	"Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	February 13, 2012 	12.45[161]
194	17	"Not in My Mouth!" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	February 20, 2012 	13.33[162]
195	18	"The War Against Gingivitis" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo	February 27, 2012 	11.92[163]
196	19	"Palmdale, Ech" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo	March 19, 2012 	11.47[164]
197	20	"Grandma's Pie" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn	April 9, 2012 	10.40[165]
198	21	"Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo	April 16, 2012 	11.22[166]
199	22	"Why We Gave Up Women" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo	April 30, 2012 	11.32[167]
200	23	"The Straw in My Donut Hole" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers	May 7, 2012 	11.43[168]
201	24	"Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo	May 14, 2012 	11.55[169]
=== Season 10 (2012–13) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
202	1 	"I Changed My Mind About the Milk" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson	September 27, 2012	12.54[170]
203	2 	"A Big Bag of Dog" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky	October 4, 2012 	12.33[171]
204	3 	"Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky	October 11, 2012 	11.35[172]
205	4 	"You Do Know What the Lollipop's For" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Alissa Neubauer 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Eddie Gorodetsky	October 18, 2012 	13.60[173]
206	5 	"That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam"	James Widdoes	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan McMartin 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo & Jim Patterson	October 25, 2012 	12.94[174]
207	6 	"Ferrets, Attack!" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Matt Ross and Max Searle	November 1, 2012 	12.65[175]
208	7 	"Avoid the Chinese Mustard" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Gemma Baker 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky	November 8, 2012 	14.07[176]
209	8 	"Something My Gynecologist Said" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky	November 15, 2012 	13.87[177]
210	9 	"I Scream When I Pee" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky & Steve Tompkins	November 29, 2012 	13.74[178]
211	10	"One Nut Johnson" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Steve Tompkins & Alissa Neubauer	December 6, 2012 	13.50[179]
212	11	"Give Santa a Tail-Hole" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Matt Ross & Max Searle 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky	December 13, 2012 	13.35[180]
213	12	"Welcome to Alancrest" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo and Steve Tompkins 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky and Susan McMartin	January 3, 2013 	15.41[181]
214	13	"Grab a Feather and Get in Line" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, & Gemma Baker 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Alissa Neubauer	January 10, 2013 	14.40[182]
215	14	"Run, Steven Staven! Run!" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Susan McMartin 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky and Steve Tompkins	January 31, 2013 	13.70[183]
216	15	"Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo and Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Matt Ross and Max Searle	February 7, 2013 	14.12[184]
217	16	"Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky and Alissa Neubauer 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Don Reo and Steve Tompkins	February 14, 2013 	13.69[185]
218	17	"Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Nick Bakay 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky and Gemma Baker	February 21, 2013 	13.41[186]
219	18	"The 9:04 from Pemberton" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Steve Tompkins and Alissa Neubauer	March 7, 2013 	13.54[187]
220	19	"Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo and Gemma Baker 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky and Susan McMartin	March 14, 2013 	12.18[188]
221	20	"Bazinga! That's from a TV Show" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross and Max Searle	April 4, 2013 	13.71[189]
222	21	"Another Night with Neil Diamond" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo and Steve Tompkins 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky and Nick Bakay	April 25, 2013 	11.32[190]
223	22	"My Bodacious Vidalia" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Eddie Gorodetsky 
Teleplay by : Gemma Baker, Matt Ross and Max Searle	May 2, 2013 	12.12[191]
224	23	"Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Alissa Neubauer and Susan McMartin 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky	May 9, 2013 	12.83[192]
=== Season 11 (2013–14) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions)
225	1 	"Nangnangnangnang" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Susan McMartin 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins	September 26, 2013	11.59[193]
226	2 	"I Think I Banged Lucille Ball" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Alissa Neubauer 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Jeff Lowell	October 3, 2013 	9.34[194]
227	3 	"This Unblessed Biscuit" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross & Max Searle	October 10, 2013 	9.14[195]
228	4 	"Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Susan McMartin 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Don Reo & Steve Tompkins	October 17, 2013 	8.59[196]
229	5 	"Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Steve Tompkins, Alissa Neubauer & Don Reo 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Jeff Lowell & Jim Vallely	October 24, 2013 	8.53[197]
230	6 	"Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Susan McMartin & Jon Cryer 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher & Jeff Lowell	November 7, 2013 	8.27[198]
231	7 	"Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Jim Patterson, Steve Tompkins & Jeff Lowell 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross & Max Searle	November 14, 2013 	8.66[199]
232	8 	"Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room." 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Steve Tompkins 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Susan McMartin and Saladin K. Patterson	November 21, 2013 	8.69[200]
233	9 	"Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Tim Kelleher, Nathan Chetty 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Saladin K. Patterson, Jim Valley	December 5, 2013 	8.47[201]
234	10	"On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!"	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, Jeff Lowell 
Teleplay by : Saladin K. Patterson, Matt Ross, Max Searle	December 12, 2013 	8.54[202]
235	11	"Tazed in the Lady Nuts" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Tim Kelleher, Jeff Lowell and Jim Vallely 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Steve Tompkins	January 2, 2014 	8.74[203]
236	12	"Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball." 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Susan McMartin and Leslie Shapira 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Matt Ross and Max Searle	January 9, 2014 	9.58[204]
237	13	"Bite Me, Supreme Court" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Tim Kelleher, Jeff Lowell and Jim Vallely 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Steve Tompkins	January 30, 2014 	8.86[205]
238	14	"Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Maria Espada Pearce 
Teleplay by : Steve Tompkins, Saladin K. Patterson and Susan McMartin	February 6, 2014 	8.32[206]
239	15	"Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher and Jim Vallely 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross and Max Searle	February 27, 2014 	10.02[207]
240	16	"How to Get Rid of Alan Harper" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Saladin K. Patterson, Jim Vallely and Leslie Schapira 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Jeff Lowell	March 6, 2014 	10.38[208]
241	17	"Welcome Home, Jake" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Saladin K. Patterson 
Teleplay by : Tim Kelleher, Matt Ross and Max Searle	March 13, 2014 	9.43[209]
242	18	"West Side Story" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Susan McMartin 
Teleplay by : Jeff Lowell, Matt Ross and Max Searle	April 3, 2014 	9.23[210]
243	19	"Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Jeff Lowell, Matt Ross and Max Searle 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Steve Tompkins	April 10, 2014 	9.55[211]
244	20	"Lotta Delis in Little Armenia" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Steve Tompkins and Saladin K. Patterson 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher and Jim Vallely	April 24, 2014 	9.35[212]
245	21	"Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Jim Patterson, Matt Ross and Max Searle 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Steve Tompkins and Susan McMartin	May 1, 2014 	8.97[213]
246	22	"Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher and Jim Vallely 
Teleplay by : Steve Tompkins, Jeff Lowell, Matt Ross and Max Searle	May 8, 2014 	8.35[214]
=== Season 12 (2014–15) ===
No.
overall	No. in
season	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date	U.S. viewers
(millions)
247	1 	"The Ol' Mexican Spinach" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn& Warren Bell 
Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins	October 30, 2014 	10.29[215]
248	2 	"A Chic Bar in Ibiza" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Reo & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Tim Kelleher & Saladin K. Patterson & Jim Vallely	November 6, 2014 	9.12[216]
249	3 	"Glamping in a Yurt" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Saladin K. Patterson & Matt Ross & Max Searle 
Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Jim Vallely	November 13, 2014	8.75[217]
250	4 	"Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight"	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins 
Teleplay by : Warren Bell & Matt Ross & Max Searle	November 20, 2014	8.62[218]
251	5 	"Oontz. Oontz. Oontz." 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo & Steve Tompkins & Warren Bell 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Tim Kelleher & Saladin K. Patterson	November 27, 2014	6.93[219]
252	6 	"Alan Shot a Little Girl" 	Jon Cryer 	Story by : Don Reo & Maria Espada Pearce & Nathan Chetty 
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins & Warren Bell	December 4, 2014 	8.10[220]
253	7 	"Sex with an Animated Ed Asner" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Jim Patterson & Jim Vallely & Tim Kelleher 
Teleplay by : Don Reo & Matt Ross & Max Searle	December 11, 2014	9.30[221]
254	8 	"Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Warren Bell, Saladin K. Patterson, & Jim Vallely 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Steve Thompkins	December 18, 2014	8.80[222]
255	9 	"Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher, & Saladin K. Patterson 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross, & Max Searle	January 8, 2015 	10.07[223]
256	10	"Here I Come, Pants!" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo, & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Tim Kelleher, Matt Ross, & Max Searle	January 15, 2015 	9.38[224]
257	11	"For Whom the Booty Calls" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Warren Bell, Saladin K. Patterson, & Jim Vallely 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Steve Tompkins	January 22, 2015 	9.31[225]
258	12	"A Beer-Battered Rip-Off" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Jeff Lowell 
Teleplay by : Matt Ross, Max Searle, & Nathan Chetty	January 29, 2015 	9.71[226]
259	13	"Boompa Loved His Hookers" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Steve Tompkins, Warren Bell & Jeff Lowell 
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Nathan Chetty	February 5, 2015 	9.39[227]
260	14	"Don't Give a Monkey a Gun" 	James Widdoes	Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Tim Kelleher 
Teleplay by : Jim Vallely, Matt Ross & Max Searle	February 12, 2015	9.33[228]
261
262	15
16	"Of Course He's Dead" 	James Widdoes	Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Don Reo & Jim Patterson	February 19, 2015	13.52[229]
Category:Lists