Dominik's Diary - Season 1

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== Snow Cats - Nothing But Trouble ==
Dear dairy,
No, no, I can’t even bring myself to start this entry like that. Honestly, my pen’s shaking and I’m a bit afraid of breaking it in half. Today was a nightmare, like never before and I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep for the next night… two… maybe more, I don’t know.
I’m so confused.
It started off innocent. It always does. After I was done with work for today one of the people from the, uh… team (I still don’t know why I agreed to this, it just feels so… wrong to be part of such a group) approached me saying they’re going out for pizza and if I want in. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a question and more like a forceful drag. He was so… uh… hyperactive, I guess. By the time I realized what’s going on I was eating pizza in some fancy diner with this dark-haired girl, the guy who’s totally larger than life and… honestly my first thought was a walking trash-can but I swear I hope he never learns I said that about him. I wish I could take that thought back, so so much right now.
So, without further ado, what happened that I’m so shaken? The usual. Visitors, from the other side. But this time, it was a little different from usual. They didn’t… go after me, really. They didn’t go after my friend either. They just sort of… made a mess. There was this guy (shapeshifter, apparently, so I don’t know) on the TV and I think you made me see that they weren’t alone. Yeah, I know you’re reading this, or at least watching me write it. Words don’t reach you that well but emotions do, huh? Well, I’m disappointed and scared, does it move you? I bet it doesn’t.
It was the crowd. Not a person, but the crowd. The same talk-show, and the person I thought was taken, well, they weren't. It was the people. The normal, innocent people who didn’t do anything, and I… I nearly hurt them. I was completely at loss, I don’t know what I was supposed to do. The two people I mentioned from the pizza - they tried to help, I think? But it was… it was a mess. It felt like neither of them realized what was going on. Like it was some sort of game and you could have fun while people were risking limbs and injury there. I hate to badmouth a person who gives charity, but… the pizza-guy, Solenoid. He was awful. Everything was a show to him, just a goddamn game. Smiles to the camera, fancy texts, playing pretend in between all of this… I don’t think I can look him in the face anymore. Honestly by the end if I weren’t so afraid of… just… everything I think I would just punch him… but I shouldn’t think like that.
Only the metal person was helpful. Valor, I think, was how he called him. He was… cool-headed, he was kind, he acted with reason before showing off… in fact he never did. He really impressed me, and… honestly, I think that’s sort of how a ‘hero’ should be. He helped me so many times too, and, when we sort of sat down and spoke, I felt… a little bit safer, at least knowing he knows, and he’s trusting. And ready.
I’m not ready though. The cats are gone, but I don’t know if they went back. They might still be around, and I can’t stomach that thought. I’m afraid, so afraid, that they’ll wreak havoc and I’m the one to blame above it all. And there’s so many of them, they could be… anywhere, everywhere. And, honestly… I think there’s something more going on.
I’m just so afraid.
== How Low Can You Go? ==
I’ve seen plenty of weird things in my life. I mean, sometimes you see a person who’s just that much better at sports at yourself, and sometimes someone picks things up a little too far away from their hand to be actually grabbed… and sometimes, someone just flies. These things happen, right?
But there’s also things that are, well, weirder than weird. And in a negative sense. Because if you feel like having feathers instead of hair, all power to you. But forcing others to change, just because you want to? That’s a big no no, and it’s merely the tip of the iceberg. I’ve seen movies, documentaries, read a book or two, I know how a mad lab looks like. As an aside, I’m happy I’m not in one myself.
But what’s all this for? Well, today was another strange day.
You’d think one day would be a break after… well, you know, but no, clearly not. A man can’t even loiter alone in the park without some office building catching on fire. Not literally, not quite at least. By the time I knew what I was doing, I already found myself among people I think I should know. I think they’re part of the team, really? But I only really recognized him. Her. Them. The shape-changing one from before when this entire mess started properly. But there was also this flower-person, a girl I think. And a guy who turned into animals… and much to my surprise, someone entirely ordinary. I… really don’t know what to think - on one hand it’s something incredible, to put yourself in such danger and disadvantage for others. On the other hand, you know what they say, there’s a thin line between bravery and stupidity. I don’t know where we all stand on that line, truth be told.
The building was a lab, one where people were clearly taken and, well, changed. Not like how we were, but worse… maybe. There was little changing left to do because the place was trashed. By a knight, would you believe it. A knight like out of some old medieval legend, with a sword and as I later saw, looks to match. But you know how they say, it’s the inside that matters? I don’t think it does, because when I saw him cleave a man in half - a normal person, a scientist, probably another cog in the machine - I thought he looked more fitting wearing that dreadful armor of his. Seeing that it’s an actual person inside… I don’t know what to think.
It was a brawl, and a messy one. I don’t think I was the only one who didn’t know what to do. People clashed, there was shouting, and more aggression. Knives and swords were flung and then all the… changed were bouncing back and forth between anger and misery. And we were too. I know that, uh… Shaper nearly went feral. Like she told us about where she came from, though I’m not too sure I how much of that is true and how much of that is made up by him.
In the end, well… I don’t quite remember. The plant-person ran, and there was this sleeping gas everywhere, and I grabbed, uh… Specter, and then I saw the knight’s face, and he kicked me and… the rest is a blur. But you won’t quite help me remember, right? You’re a worse sleeper than I.
== Shouldn’t Have Done This ==
To be quite honest, at first I was amazed and somewhat surprised with Valor. You know, that a robot, a machine, can act so human and lifelike. Emotions, feelings, worries, even anger and fright and all those things that make us human. It was a bit of a shock to realize that a machine could do that too. Now, the amazement sort of faded - there’s a human in that machine, a very real one at that.
I’ve learned so many things over this afternoon I admit I have a hard time processing it all. Sorry if it’s making you confused and anxious as well… although after these years, I am starting to doubt you can even experience these emotions in entirety. Anyhow, I’m rambling…
The lab from these few days past - the one I mentioned in my last entry. I lead them there. Red Streak… or Red, I guess, and Valor. Gabriel Smiththon was there too, though he likes being called ‘Hesperus’ now, it seems. Honestly, even if I was a guide at first, I quickly started feeling like a guest on a trip. A really weird, painful and depressing trip. All those tubes, tests and experiments now make that much more sense - I don’t know who we’re dealing with, but they clearly do not care for human life at all. The man-animals from before? Just another checkmark on the line. Valor was just as much a victim as those people last time we were in that building.
...it really makes them little different from the Black Knight. The scientists, I mean. Or whoever owns the lab and calls the shots.
...and Red was apparently made by them. Like, wholesale, from scratch, from zero. I can’t even begin to imagine how it must’ve been for her, in her childhood I mean. The early one, we’re still pretty much kids all things considered.
They tried to get answers, I bet some closure. Everyone wants to put things to an end, especially if they’re… painful and lingering things. No, I’m not tearing up. Don’t even suggest it. In the end, all they got was a reminder just how much everything hurts for them. I couldn’t help but hurt with them, too. Maybe it’s not even comparable but… I honestly hope that both Red and Valor come to. I need to check in on both of them a little more often… I don’t want to see either break.
That, and we were attacked by someone. A bright, flaring person that matched Gab blow for blow… and someone like Valor. Inhuman, large, heavy, burning and fast. We took him down, and Red managed to pull out something out of him - I say him, because when all that external slag melted away, he was just an ordinary person. We carried him to the hospital, but we had to take our leave so nobody would ask too many questions.
I can’t help but feel this is all my fault, in a way. I shouldn’t have said anything about the lab. Should’ve kept my mouth shut and try not to get in the way. We got more questions than answers, and everyone’s just hurting more than before.
Why does this keep happening, ugh…
Really, is it…? I mean, I sort of feel the answer. You’re doing that, right? Like the edge of the ocean, still firmly on the sand with only my shins a little wet. That’s where we were, huh? So, your home is… okay. Believe me when I say, my stomach just dropped a little bit. I haven’t been to school in forever, but I do have a general idea how deep and dark the ocean is.
You’re scaring me, when you say you’re from the bottom.
So, what was today. A few days ago I asked Wild… the shaman-guy… for some tips, help maybe. He seems to know spirits, the other side in general. If he could tell me… just, what to do, or how should I act, it would save everyone trouble. Especially since those cat-things might still be out there. In the end, I got roped into a quest, it seems. From Wild’s… long-dead grandmother. It sounds awfully awkward on paper, but it’s the otherworld, so things work different out there. 
What I didn’t expect was for the little exchange of favours to spread. Before I knew it, we had some new girl on the team, someone who called himself… believe this… Arthur Pendragon… and Gabriel too. I mean, this made four out of five people explicitly magical, somehow (especially when Arthur summoned a horse from thin air; that’s magic) but… I think that we bit more than we could chew. Bit more than I could chew.
Reality cracks are really bad news, huh? I never… actually, that’s a lie. I remember when you used to be so furious, angry and upset. That if someone crossed your path, you would tear them limb from limb with my own arms at your leisure. I sort of want to forget that but… it was a little different this time, wasn’t it? You roared because you knew just how dangerous those things could be. Deny it all you want, I can feel you fluster, but you didn’t want anything bad to happen to my world. Thank you.
I am not going to even pretend to guess what that scepter was precisely. Or the strange headless wizard that clutched it so hard. Or why would someone, anyone… build a kingdom deep in the other world. I wouldn’t be able to live there and considering the state of the place, I don’t think other people did as well. PrideFUl FOoLs, aLL oF tHeM.
...so that’s an answer, thanks. Now my hand feels numbs again. Didn’t I tell you? You can’t just force our muscles to work at full capacity. That’s not how living… fleshy things work, right?
Anyway, in the end… to be quite honest… while we certainly did help avert a potential disaster, I feel that I was… sort of ignored. Everyone got all cheerful and happy and I sort of followed behind, but none of the questions, of my worries, were addressed. I mean, I’m glad the team was in high spirits, but despite having you in me, my spirits weren’t quite a high.
I hope someone, someday, can tell me just what to do with all of… this.
But thank you for keeping watch over me. I think.
Thanks.
== Something About Fur and Flotsam… ==
I’m trying to focus on the irony at the back of my head today, really. Maybe that way it won’t explode from overthinking the situation. That, or just generally being pissed to the point of being unreasonable. Sorry, by the way, if it’s a little hard to deal with in there - though I can imagine on some level you feel the same way even if you’re not showing it.
So we have new neighbours. Haha, how funny, I know right? Brilliant joke.
No, in all seriousness I finally know what happened with the lot we had half an year ago in the Park. It’s alive again, quite populated too. Remember those, uh… unfortunates from that one place before? We found them, oh did we find them - and they’re nesting where we used to nest before. Kind of funny to see remains of my old shack turned into a data center, but oh well. I couldn’t quite process what happened because the fact one of them nearly blew themselves on us - literally - was still hot on my head.
Long story short, not only Red and Valour are after G.R.E.Y.. All the other people hurt are out for blood as well, quite messily by the way as well. I think it was mostly luck and coincidence that we met with one of them after nearly getting duped by the bad guys. That one guy from before, with fiery magic powers like Gabriel’s… I think it’s because we couldn’t stop him escaping. But… look on the bright side, yeah? Sorry, I know it’s even worse when I try to pretend things are fine. My bad.
Long story short, again, all the refugees from before are out for blood, and after their friends too. The latter I can understand and sympathise. The former I think is misguided - just like that Black Knight from before. It’s even worse when they started making demands. “We’ll let you help us”... just come on. Let us help them? I don’t think you let anyone help when an offer is extended. It’s just… so self-centered and ungrateful, I still retch at my stomach. And in this matter, we’d help them even if they didn’t want to - nobody is bombing buildings in a large city if I can help it.
At the end of the day, though, a messy fight in the hospital aside, I think we managed to at least appease them Park-dwellers for a little bit. They’re getting their friends back soon, so that’s good. The four of us - Red, Specter, Valour and I… we worked quite well together. And we helped save lives so… that was a reward in of itself. I hope that these people will receive due treatment and care soon. They’re victims, horrible, horrible victims of people with no morals even in a single inch of their spine.
Hmm? Oh, yeah, that.
I wanted to forget it happened but I… yeah, you won’t let me rest. Sure, I admit. Knowing that these people deserved the beating on some level, and then being the one dispensing it? It was fun… thrilling maybe. I don’t want to say ‘fun’, despite what you may think. I don’t know how I should really feel about that - and your suggestions aren’t helping. But… I dunno.
I guess despite the mad face I apparently made, it sort of felt right.
== Swing The Bat [x] ==
In some way, I feel happy knowing there’s a literal museum of super-powered mishaps right opposite the baseball field. You recall that one, right? The old, slightly run down one right on the edge of the Park. The one some of us tend to rest beneath the wide bleachers. That’s the one, yeah. The one that from today on is not getting demolished to the ground in lieu of one more office skyscraper. I’m happy to say, we did this.
How? Well, it was a bit messy, but ultimately it came down to a show game really. I need to still thank everyone for showing up - and the donut too. It wouldn’t quite work without them. They made quite the audience for a game of… super-powered people, really. It was the weirdest baseball game in my life. Opposite team aside, it was our team that made me realize how woefully out of place I am in this world. Red and Specter I can omit, because honestly they’re the most normal out of the bunch (and I thank them for it immensely), but the plant-shenanigans Alarune did? That was something. We also had a literal viking cosplayer from some history books show up, with ice powers. I don’t think I quite caught the name, aside from the fact he really did speak like a norse mythology otaku. And there was this robot girl too… okay, I’m assuming here. Maybe she’s like Valour, I’ll have to meet them up together.
But yeah, we won. It was very chaotic and I honestly felt a little lost with all the powers and spells and abilities flung around… but I tried to keep it cool and just swing the bat. It worked… except I forgot myself a little. I have a feeling you helped too. You did, didn’t you…? Ah, there we go. It’s that chuckle-y feeling again. You wanted to win this, huh? Well, I won’t question your reasons, but… thanks, it really mattered a lot more than some could think.
But it wasn’t just the game itself too. It was the entire preparation, getting everyone together, rallying the crowd. Then the party - yeah, there was a party. Usual teen stuff. The things normal kids to before a big game. Big kids, not when you’re still in primary, of course. I felt so awkward, really. Everyone was smooth, slick and just… normal and I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb. There was also all this food and drink and… ah… it just feels wrong to take when you don’t earn it, you know what I mean? At least you know how I feel, heh. And yes, I am aware I am comparing feeling like the odd-one-out when there was a literal barbarian cosplayers there too, but you know - superpower stuff and normalcy are just not quite overlapping that much, I’m noticing.
Even if it was all a little awkward, and a little over-the-top… with all these strange people and like… it honestly felt a little homely. More than a little. Sports were fun back then…
Yeah, I mean… I know they are around everywhere but I haven’t played in a long while, right? Rusty… and all that stuff. Can’t quite have practice when you’re trying to… you know… get enough cents for something to eat for next week…
So yeah, it felt… nostalgic, and like… old times… if you cut all the strangeness… and it felt nice and… I… I miss them.
It Is FInE to CRy.
== Dirt of the Earth [x] ==
Today has been a mixed bag, that’s… the best way I can put it. I don’t honestly quite know where to begin, because no matter how much I try I can’t seem to establish any sort of narrative to go with. I think if I were to summarize the events in the biggest shorthand I could muster, it would be… we hanged out, someone was a douche, our friend got kidnapped, some more people were douches, and then my film went black… and the rest, you know, am I right?
I think the best thing to do is describe how I feel about all of this, to be honest. Because I really can’t seem to start with any sort of cohesion here. So…
Groundbreaker is a horrible person. Everything she does feels insulting, diminishing, just… like no matter what is going on, what is the situation, she just treats everyone as crap beneath her feet. It makes me feel about as disgusted in her, to be quite honest. Not even when someone treats her to food and drink does she pay back the hospitality in any way. I mean, come on - people are talking to you and you sit on the phone? She fights well, and she’s there when we need a fighter… but this doesn’t make it any more right in my eyes…
I’m really thankful to Gabe today. For the meal, for the drink… just for the hospitality, even. But above all, he saved my entire morning when someone tried being smart, stealing my findings all for the sake of some old magical doodads that probably have gone long inert. He didn’t just save the morning, he gave me… so much extra. I was able to afford more for everyone too, I think we’re all benefitting off that. I need to find more ways to repay his kindness.
I met a new person. Side-step. I don't quite know what to think about him yet. He reminds me of Spectre. Doesn’t seem to have powers… or at least useful ones… but he’s still out there, in the field. Taking punches and pulling smiles at the worst moment. I sort of envy him… but at the same time… I honestly don’t know - where bravery ends and stupidity begins? Is it okay to risk life and limb… when yours are so fragile? I hope the best for him.
...and then there’s what happened. I know, I can feel you fuming. I shouldn’t beat around the bush.
I’m glad you didn’t… you know… end him. I know how you feel about it all but… we do treasure our little lives, you know? I don’t think there’s any force in the universe that would justify me… taking one, with my own hands. Maybe you feel different, but we agreed to a compromise, didn’t we? Please, do try to… you know. Right…? Thanks. And thank you too for, uh… showing me what happened. Even if it’s all blurry and foggy and oh so… bright. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you showing me things in emotions, rather than… vision and whatnot. Still, you kept me in one piece, when I needed it most and felt that I’ve… lost. Thank you, really.
I don’t think others feel the same, however. They must see us as a monster by this point. Someone possessed by a violent demon. They wouldn’t be too wrong two years ago, ha-.. Ow! Okay, I won’t joke about it. It’s… ah… honestly troubling. I don’t want people to be afraid of me… and you. I know what you did, how you feel… they don’t. It hurts to know that even amongst weirdos… I’m still an even bigger weirdo. But we have to keep weathering it on… right…?
== A Rope of Rabbits [x] ==
It’s been a few years now… and I still can’t quite get used to it, you know? Every day (well, almost) something weird and strange is just rearing its head around the corner, waiting to happen and make it all weird and strange again. It’s tiring, really tiring. Like, I can’t even get one day off in the park to cool down. All out of the blue, the rest of the Team has to jump from… well, Wild’s place I guess and start stumbling about looking for the most crazy thing there could’ve been.
Okay, I am aware. This is an exaggeration and some really crazy things out there make our activities pale in comparison. But seriously, a jackalope? Then again, I am willing there are things where you’re from that… well, you know. I’m not going into this tirade again.
Imagine my surprise… actually, remember my surprise when the rabbits turned out to be real, and a foretelling of troublesome events? Yeah, and how pissed I was when we had to visit the… “Zodiacs” again? I mean, I get it - Wild had a point too. Desperation and fright leads to paranoia like nothing else. It still boggles my mind that they are so… cold and distant to us after what we’ve done for them. I don’t think common gratitude is something we’ll ever get from them at this rate.
Oh yeah, and the rabbits told us about G.R.E.Y. again. Like this hasn’t happened before. That’s why we visited the Zodiacs. To get clues.
I keep saying ‘we’ but I wasn’t alone, of course. Rekken was there - the elastic android girl. And Wild, of course… and this new guy I haven’t seen before. He had a pretty… decent outfit, I guess. Most normal of them all of course but definitely a rebel in style. Kind of like Red, now that I think about it. We had another run in with a facility that… well, it’s funny to think about. We promised a stealthy approach, but then the building started falling apart (not my fault!) and before we knew it, it was an all-out brawl. I guess the new guy’s (Freedo’s?) illusions don’t quite always work. The foam from before, from the hospital, made a comeback. Wild got sprayed and couldn’t shapeshift and… well, we all lapsed and he got taken hostage.
I think it was the first time in my life I felt how you feel. If Rekken didn’t calm me down with all that anti-freeze, I feel like I would tear the guy’s arms off for daring to take Wild as hostage, nevermind harming him like that. Just… ugh… I can’t even think about this moment too straight without getting all angry again. Disgusting.
As the finale, we have a new refugee with us… well, not here, but in the Team headquarters. Still feeling a little awkward using ‘us’ in that context. It’s a girl, with wings (so… similar to the Zodiacs, but not quite ‘done’ I guess. Thank god we were there at that time). Who can summon magical swords. And yes, emphasis on magical - I asked.
Oh, and she calls herself ‘of the Lake’. Like a certain familiar legend I know of. That, and she really wants to see her dad… who I believe is the black knight from way back when. Which makes this entire situation very… very complicated.
...wait, does this mean the knight was Lancelot du Lac all the time?!
== Rage [x] ==
I don’t need to explain anything on my end, do I? Flooding my mind, hurting my friends… I could go on, but I feel you feel me exactly how you should. Zero tolerance, no forgiveness, I just want them out. And you feel the same way, right? I can still feel the simmering, the burning, the displeasure. I’m surprised you’re actually so… calm about it, actually. For once I’m the more furious one between the two of us, eh?
So, think you could share a bit of the secret? I mean, I deserve to know - we’re in this together, even if I don’t want to be; neither of us has a choice at this point. I’ll… ack!
Oh-kay, that’s a lot of baggage. And a little confusing. You didn’t need to bundle it up together, you know? It’s not like we’re going anywhere tonight, it’s way past bedtime already. Anyhow… right… frustration, anger, pride… annoyance, memory…? This is starting to sound like an old enemy of yours. It’s what it is, isn’t it? God… now I’m somewhere between two old rivals duking it out at each other? Damn it, damn it and damn it again, why? Couldn’t you be a spirit-gardener or something? Is this why you’re with me now? I can’t believe it... 
I’m going to need some time to think. What happened after isn’t helping…
I still can’t believe he… went for it. Just a few sweet words and he’s all on his knees and everything? Everyone wants to be appreciated but… come on. You don’t even know if she’s serious or not. To me it honestly sticks like another one of those ‘cool kid’ things. The big thing is coming up so might as well snag yourself a super boyfriend or something to look good. She infuriates me, I can’t see her pulling an emotional 180 like that at all. Just like her name, earth doesn’t just flip and flop from day to day.
But I went too far… I guess… I don’t know. He’s like… one of the few people I trust that knows what’s going on in this crazy world right now. Someone who’s… at least a little bit like me. I’ve never felt that since that day when it all started. I don’t want him to get used or stumble over it because someone fancies themselves to bring a toy for an event. He’s already so nervous over everything she says… and I guess so am I.
It’s a mess. It’s going to be a mess. Jake’s a mess because of it, and I’m a mess from it all as well… well, at least the last part seems like nothing new. Poor jokes to lighten the mood, right? Best thing I can do right now. Honestly, I don’t know what to write anymore, what to think too. It’s all so confusing, complicated and just… can’t wrap my head around it.
When it comes to punching and smashing, it’s just so easy. To break through and destroy and all. But when it comes to people? To help, to push, to actually do something building instead of just sit around and listen like a pole? I just don’t know. It slips through my fingers and I can’t grab it at all.
It’s frustrating, and honestly it just… breaks me.
Maybe I am a monster after all.
== Going Back [x] ==
I don't know how to feel about today. You slept through most of it but I've been ping-ponging back and forth like crazy, you know. For once, at least, I can say that today has been normal, remained mostly normal, and only had a blip on the weirdness meter by the very end... even if I could rationalise it even somewhat. Somewhat, emphasis here.
I got roped into helping clean and prepare the school hall for the big dance coming up in the near future. I prefer not to think about it, truth be told. It was Fred who asked for help, and Gabriel asked me in turn so it's like... a chain of help? Well, I don't think Fred would ask me directly after what happened the last time we met. You know, when you took the front seat for a moment. Less on that, we've been over this before.
For most part it was normal. Turns out Fred got in trouble with these assholes because Bella is his schoolmate or something. And Gabe's levitation powers are really useful for cleaning hard-to-reach places. Especially when the ladder is unstable and I can't hold it because these tables and chairs need to be where they have to be by twelve... or something like that. I guess, though... it was oddly weird, and nice, to be part of something more normal like this than having super-villains raid your picnic every Thursday.
At least, it was until Fred started asking questions. About my super-heroics (hah!), my name, why am I like I am... I mean, not in an offensive way. He was enamoured by the strength you give me, and how I... you know. Fred's fascination with the supernatural. I don't need to get in-depth about it. But it got uneasy when he started making suggestions... about coming back. To school, to life, to... ah, I'm tearing up. I can't do it. I don't know how. I'm afraid, a lot, of just... everything that would happen. I'm almost, what... twenty, and my life got paused somewhere like four years ago. Un-pausing it... it scares me, I'm afraid. I'm more afraid of that than being pounded by an alien monster, and that thought is just entirely telling to how messed up my life is.
But then Gabe found ancient cursed cockroaches, they swarmed us and we had to detonate the pool building to get rid of them. You know, the usual fare for our daily lives. The safe fare. The one where I'm a bit surprised you had nothing to say on these roaches... I guess if most things are like insects to you, actual insects are even further beyond notice, hah? Right, enough jokes, I can feel you're not laughing.
I guess I'm a little bit mad, because it turns out the Principal is a super herself, with a history with Cyclone. Nothing I shouldn't expect when she called me by my last name - something I never shared with anyone but him, and that too only once. I guess I'm just bitter and angry because... I wish people were less full of secrets like that. I don't mind if you're worried about your date, but invigilating someone's personal information, and matters, and then being coy and quiet about it? It makes my gut turn in a very, very bad way. I don't feel safe around that woman, and... maybe not quite as safe as I did around Cyclone now, too.
...or maybe I'm just hungry. I don't know anymore.
== All for Nothing [x] ==
It's almost dawning, and I can't really feel the tips of my hands truth be told. I guess I'm really tired and hungry, come to think of it. Sorry I'm putting you under this strain, but... I don't think I can just rest right away. We've slept in worst places, so one night on a rooftop isn't going to be the end of us. But... let me collect my thoughts.
Today was that day everyone's been waiting for. The school dance, or something. You know, the one I helped set up a few days ago. It wasn't quite easy to go, you know, but Fred kept asking and I was honestly worried for Gwen. She's out and stable enough to resume life, so that's good news. And... I think that's about where the good news end.
I could go on and write how I bawled my eyes out before Redshift came over. I could mention the smell of pot and how stoned he was out of his mind. I could say how relieved and simultaneously disappointed I was at that gesture, but... you know all of this. Again, sorry for seeding misery like that.
The real bad news happened after. A bunch of vans arrived in front of the school, deployed a practical army of suited-and-goggled soldiers and essentially full-assaulted the school building. We did what we could, really, we tried our best. It wasn't enough. Nobody was truly prepared for the sheer number of them. They were everywhere, overwhelming, and since nobody expected such a thing to happen likewise nobody was in any proper condition to do any fighting. Our team - that is to say, Gwen, Redshift, Rekken and Fred - were essentially the front guard. Gwen and I tried to keep the main entrance blocked off, Redshift helped, Rekken dispatched as many as she could from the back.
It wasn't enough.
I was told we weren't the only ones fighting. It was a battlefield. They managed to sneak it from the back, infiltrated the building, even had god-damned helicopters landing on the roof. It was like a flood. Everyone did their best. Everyone tried. It wasn't enough. On our side, Gwen lost her sword, Rekken nearly froze, Redshift nearly tripped into their firing range and... I still don't know what happened with Fred. I've searched high and low and it's just nothing. No sign of him, no mention of him. No place he frequents saw him or knew of his whereabouts. He just disappeared. I can't stop searching though, not now. He has to be somewhere. I just cannot. I don't care if it's enough, I know it's not. All of these people...
They had a gas, a different variety from the last time. Just like the Zodiacs, it was the same. They aimed to change everyone in school into their super-soldier freaks or something like that. And they succeeded. Half of the school is missing... or changed. I can still hear the screams and cries for pain... all of that and nothing I could do, nothing anyone could do.
Okay... thanks. I needed that... warmth for a moment. You're good at projecting... well, of course you're good at this. This is your language. Thanks, and, thank you for earlier. You know, when I was overwhelmed and about to lose hope? I wasn't aware we could do that. You guided my hand through the entire process and... honestly, I have a feeling others might once again think we're a monster, that I am host to something from beyond that should be expunged but I don't care. Maybe I am dangerous. Maybe that's just how I am. I'm fine with it. Because at the end of the day, I... we choose when to be dangerous, and when to be safe.
But... it's still not enough. I guess I should get some rest. I can feel you growling at me. Some time ago I'd say it's almost weird to have a constant presence over your shoulder but... by this point? I think I would go crazy if not for you. Thank you, Gramps.
Category:Journals
Category:Dominik Tegan