Pat, Stan, Sam and Max: City Fools (Chapter 2)

Chapter 2 is the second chapter of Pat, Stan, Sam and Max: City Fools written by MarioFan65.
This chapter is called "People Mayhem".
==Plot==
(While the Aquabears are fighting Pat, Stan, Sam and Max on the pirate ship, a fiery spirit show up as Drew arrives by teleporting through a cut-off log with wires as the devil hold two sickles to prepare his charge at them)
*Drew: *laugh* Heh, heh, heh. Things are going to prevail for the fiery fight. *grin with a smile*
*Pat: We're so in big trouble.
*Stan: What do we do next?
*Cap'n Aquabear: You strangers leave me no choice and I'll make you a dirty sock for your lockers! *roar*
*Sam: These mateys have no life and no soul. They should have retire in a nursey home in the first place.
*Max: Let's beat them all up like clean underwater!
*Cap'n Aquabear: My timbers, get these cucumbers out of me ship! *charge his crew after the heroes*
*Pat: Ink in the hole! *beat up every Aquabear by throwing them to barrels*
*Stan: Too hot, too cold, brain freeze! *drop all the ice bags at the bears to make them crash through the treasures*
*Sam: *hold his Big Kill to shoot at the Aquabears* Die you nano bugs! You should have stayed back at the Nanoverse a long time ago, or is it the Microverse?
*Max: Straight outta the Quantum Realm! *drop a nano bomb at the ground to blow up the whole ship by crashing him and everyone else back at the dock* Bullseye!
*Pat: Ouch! What a timber bomb.
*Stan: The whole ship! You blew it all up.
*Sam: What a heck of a fight this is.
*DJ Aquabear: *in the water* Captain! Forgive us! *get hit by a anchor*
*Cap'n Aquabear: My ship! My crew! I lost everything! Again! What have you barnacle tarnation heads done to my franchise?! *Drew landed to hold his sickles close to him*
*Sam: You lose again, Captain! Good day to you! And now, move away so we can fish on the dock and cook some salmon for lunch.
*Cap'n Aquabear: You boys have crossed the line and I'm gonna make you pay! *get slashed by Drew's sickle*
*Drew: *push Cap'n Aquabear out of the way* No one steals my scene to fill up the show!
*Pat: Oh god, is that a devil?
*Stan: Thank heavens, we're saved!
*Sam: That devil is a savior? I thought devils are suppose to be bad people like demons.
*Max: *bow down for Drew* The killer. The hero. You saved us all. How can we honor you for saving our lives from these pirate bears?
*Drew: Very funny. One of you guys are suppose to be Sam and Max.
*Sam: That would be us. *he and Max show his ID to Drew*
*Max: Freelance Police. Trademark pending. Fighting crimes and saving lives since getting the job.
*Drew: Very well. I was brought by Satan to execute you all for your wrongdoings.
*Max: *confuse* Say what?
*Sam: You work for Satan? Didn't we beat that guy years ago? Shouldn't have done it.
*Drew: The Underworld has been talking about you. You tried to humiliate all the bad people that deserve to live with crime, manipulating Satan and taking down businesses based off bad people's records. I, shall cut you for your crimes against humanity.
*Pat: What did they do wrong? Is it true that they done all of this in life?
*Stan: I don't believe in that junk!
*Sam: What were you drinking on your beer?
*Max: We saved lives and protect cities! You, are a liar and scammer!
*Stan: You think they cause crime and release criminals from prison? What? Give me a break.
*Drew: I'm sorry boys, but I have to do this. *spin his sickles* Prepare for your fate to be burned or face the consequences of Satan.
*Pat: Yikes! It's a real devil right here.
*Stan: What should we do?
*Max: I don't know. Fight like a warrior?
*Sam: Good idea. We'll take down this sicko and leave the dock before the place burn down into ashes.
*Drew: What are you going to do? Run away for your crimes?
*Pat: No. We'll rock with the flames! *run and fight Drew*
*Stan: All fired up! *run to spin kick at Drew*
*Drew: *bleed his cheeks* Very excellent. I'm impressed. *spin and fight Sam and Max*
*Sam: *use a stick to hit Drew* Not a good show. Bad boy. *Drew hit him* Ow.
*Max: *use a gun to shoot at Drew* Eat my shorts, will ya?
*Drew: Poor, weak, bland, and mediocre! *hit Max into the boxes*
*Max: *sweet* Oh no...
*Pat: *throw barrels at Drew* Die you devil!
*Stan: *throw a box at Drew* Have some garbage food with you!
*Drew: *spin to cut off the barrels and boxes* Not in a minute. *dash to fight Pat and Stan to beat them up*
*Sam: *keep shooting at Drew* Why every time I shoot a fire user, the metal in the bullets keep on burning like silverware.
*Drew: You're smearing on me. *fire blast at Sam*
*Sam: Ah! *crash on the ground*
*Drew: *throw off Pat and Stan* And now, for the main event. *slashes the ground to summon a fire ring around himself and everyone*
*Pat: *move away from the fire* Ah! Flaming hot.
*Stan: *try to blow off the fire* It won't go away.
*Sam: *get up* This devil is stronger as a hawk and falcon combined.
*Max: *nervous* We're in dead meat.
*Drew: *walk towards Max* What's wrong? Lives burning through your eyes.
*Sam: You won't burn my friends like paper and wood!
*Drew: Everyone thinks they'll be the one to defeat me. But no one's escaped me yet. *hit his sickles*
*Max: Oh snap. Daddy's got a angry face and we're in trouble.
*Drew: *smell the flames* Ah, I just love the smell of fear... FOR DINNER! *hit his sickles to the ground*
*Pat: Okay guys. We got this.
*Stan: We can take the fool down and move on.
*Pig Security: *walk close to the flames* Hey! What is going on here? Why is there a fire in the park?!
*Drew: No need to call the fire department. *throw a blade at a pig security*
*Pig Security: Oof! *crash*
*Max: Not the security. We need to act now!
*Sam: Alright. Let's just get this over with and take out the trash.
*Drew: And so, it ends. *run to fight Sam*
*Sam: *punch and hit Drew* You are as strong as a ninja.
*Drew: Yes I am a ninja because, I was trained as a hunter, a warrior, and a guardian! *push Sam*
*Max: I thought you look like a death reaper. *keep shooting at Drew*
*Drew: *spin the bullets* Sloppy. But still, I am a grim reaper. *glow his eyes*
*Max: How sad.
*Drew: Huragh! *fire smash on the ground to hit Max*
*Stan: Let me at 'em! *run to punch and kick Drew*
*Drew: Oof, ooh, ow. Stop it!
*Stan: *slap Drew* Gosh, you are so hot! *Drew fire breath at him* Ah! It's too hot! *roll over the ground to get the fire off him* I'm gonna be a hot dog for dinner!
*Drew: What a silly dog you are.
*Pat: I'm the last one standing and you can't beat the last one standing!
*Drew: I'm still standing, so what?
*Pat: You snooze, you lose! *run to punch Drew many times as breaking his sickles and weapons*
*Drew: No, no, no!
*Pat: Ah! *punch Drew in the face*
*Drew: Ooh. *his nose bleed* You bastard.
*Pat: So. Are you going to apologize to my friends, or what?
*Drew: Never. I was about to kill your friends for their crimes. Now I'm gonna kill you and your dog friend in battle.
*Stan: *itch and remove all the fire in him* Gosh. That was tough. I still smell like smoke after all.
*Max: A burnt camp fire you say?
*Sam: *hold Drew's sickle* Nothing hold back on the dog.
*Pat: Are you going to cry to your mommy, or what?!
*Drew: I am not crying! You are! I was going to win this fight. But everything went downhill, only for your weak friends to beat me through the flames. *Sam kill him with one of his sickles* Ooh...
*Sam: See you, in Hell. *drop Drew*
*Drew: How... dare... you. I wouldn't gotten away if it weren't for you meddling cops and your stupid friends. *he and his weapons disintegrate to fire dust as the fire ring disappear in front of them*
*Pat: So long, enemy.
*Stan: Woo! We finally got away with that devil and a whole crew of Aquabears.
*Sam: Boy that was a big mess. Look like the whole fishing dock is clean for now.
*Max: But what about that pig security left on the ground?
*Pat: *he and everyone see the pig security on the ground* Oof. He must be lying down after one shot.
*Stan: Is he awake?
*Sam: He must be in pain after that devil threw a blade on him.
*Max: Ouch! That gotta hurt. What is put on his ID? *see the pig security's ID* Wiggly Romains. What kind of name is that?
*Pat: Let's stop bothering that dead pig and get out of the fishing dock already?
*Stan: We're not going to fish after one fight?
*Sam: We lost track of time and we need to go home to cool ourselves before the next task.
*Max: That's understandable. I hope the pig wake up after his fall and continue his job.
(After a battle with the Aquabears and devil Drew, Pat, Stan, Sam and Max get back to the DeSoto car and continue driving by leaving the fishing dock and drive on the road on their way to the city)
*Pat: Man. All these Aquabears could have catch a lot of fish if it weren't for them for becoming bad people.
*Stan: I knew these tricksters love to play a prank on us. Even on the first day of April!
*Sam: These fools aren't bothering us in the life of a city.
*Max: The rest of the places we go to will not have anymore fools like the bears.
*Pat: Things will go in steady after the tragedy at the fishing dock.
*Stan: We have been fish and went fish out of water.
*Sam: Who know a fish would go out of water and act like some animal that came out of a live-action hybrid movie?
*Max: Take a adaption for example! We'll be fishes when we star in a movie on our own. In the future!
(As Pat, Stan, Sam and Max leave the fishing dock, they were being watched by the devil sentry from Hell over a glass orb to inform Satan on the death of Drew)
*Devil Sentry: Aye yai yai. The boss is not going to like this on what happen in the fishing dock. *walk to Satan in the lair* Master, we are very sorry to inform that Drew has been killed by a detective dog working with some rabbit, hippo and dog.
*Satan: What?! *crush his statues of himself* No! How dare they kill my beloved Drew?! Those morons are going to pay. I will slash them, slaughter them and ruined them for their misery!
*Devil Sentry: They are headed to their home as we must prepare a attack on the freelance police wherever they're headed.
*Satan: I must recruit someone bad who has a history of bad records. The meanest of all! *show a bubble orb of a gazelle on a electric wheelchair headed to the sidewalk in a city* I am about to recruit one of the meanest people in all of New York, by the name of Quire Sullivan!
*Devil Sentry: Why are you hiring this Quire Sullivan person when you can hire someone baddar and better like criminals like Mike, Moe and Matthew.
*Satan: Quire Sullivan is a long time criminal in the history of New York. Back on January 8, 2018, he has been banned from a grocery store he was kicked out in for throwing a salad at a supervisor. *show a illusion in a bubble orb of a history of Quire being impatient in a line of Slothmart Grocery World*
*Quire: *illusion* Come on! I have a lottery to play in!
*Gazelle Supervisor: *illusion* Sir, you gonna have to calm down before you can be in line next.
*Quire: *throw a salad at a gazelle supervisor* You can go to heck and eat my shorts while drinking Jack Daniels' on a super bar!
*Gazelle Supervisor: *illusion* That was unacceptable of your behavior. Sir, he's causing a hissy fit in line. What do we do about him?
*Pig Manager: *illusion* Sir, you have been banned from the store, FOREVER! Which means, you are no longer allowed and welcome to our store anymore. And if you TRY to come back through our store, we are going to call the POLICE and take you to court for your crimes.
*Quire: *illusion* Such a bunch of dimwits. *leave the store disappointed* I'll be back! You'll be sorry whenever these freelance police freaks show up at your door!
*Gazelle Supervisor: *illusion* Man, I hate that guy.
*Pig Manager: *illusion* He is such a nut job. Make sure the cameras track any rude customer that try to trespass through our doors.
*Devil Sentry: Also, he caused a fight at a Dollar Store back in May 6, 2016 over a large price over a dollar. Look. *show a illusion of Quire causing trouble at a dollar store*
*Quire: *illusion* YOU PEOPLE CAN RAISE UP THE PRICE OVER A DOLLAR PRICE AND LIVE WITH THE GOVERNMENT! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL, BUT THE GOOD PRESIDENTS OF AMERICA!
*Dog Manager: *illusion* Excuse me! We're gonna ask you to leave if you keep causing this argument too seriously.
*Quire: *throw batteries at the cash register* Screw you all. I'm going to a better dollar store with the less prices and your sorry butts are sorry for nothing! *leave the dollar store*
*Satan: Oh brother. I heard after the mayhem at the grocery store six months later, he got banned from the sidewalk and community forever for trespassing the store he got banned in. The freelance police got him and banned him from all the stores in the community. Whatever this guy has been doing, he has been hanging out in bars and beating up many criminals that make fun of his lack of fingers, except for his one thumb.
*Devil Sentry: You know, he uses the bathroom at Slothmart more than ten times a day in order to wash his hands and sneak in stuff without getting caught. He's pretty much alcoholic like this Tom guy you killed three years ago.
*Satan: Tom was just a traitorous coward who helped the gods to overturn our plan to conquer the Earth. Despite this, I'm calling Quire Sullivan to take down the animals that kill Drew at the fishing dock. Starting now! *glow his eyes toward the glass orb*
*Devil Sentry: Don't lose enough energy while controlling him. You have been warned.
(Back at New York City, Quire Sullivan, a gazelle with no fingers is seen riding on a electric wheelchair with a blue fire shift and a burned cap on his head while heading towards the bus stop as well trying to light up a cigarette to smoke)
*Quire: Stupid people. Why have the bar done wrong this time?
*Satan: *show up as a fiery spirit* Quire Sullivan. We have a offer to make.
*Quire: Ah! A ghost! Get away from me!
*Satan: Calm down. My name is Satan. The fire god.
*Quire: Satan!? Like the demon entity in Hell? *laugh* What kind of name is that?
*Satan: *his fiery spirit flames* SLIENCE! I am only recruiting you to join the forces of me in a alliance of all the bad people with a history of terrible crimes in the city.
*Quire: Nah. I don't do crime things anymore. It been years since I've been kicked out in many places due to my appearance and getting divorced to my wife. I have been a lone wolf, but hanging out in bars and trying to be a better person like my papa and mama.
*Satan: Do not leave. We have a deal to make to kill Sam and Max.
*Quire: Sam and Max? Didn't I heard of these guys a while back? *ignore who they are* Nah. Such a bunch of silly names made up by babies who are stuck in Kindergarten.
*Satan: You are not leaving without a deal! *his fiery spirit go up to Quire's nose*
*Quire: *smell Satan's fiery spirit as he is controlled by the powers of Satan* Yes. I will join you, obey you and plan to alliance all of my friends, including bad people to take down Sam and Max with a heist of a supermarket attack.
*Satan: *voice* Very good. You will join me with my forces by planning to conquer all of Earth with our names.
*Quire: All bad people deserve a life and I'll be there. *grin with a smile*
*Satan: *voice* See you soon. *evil laugh*
(Back at the road, Pat, Stan, Sam and Max are driving on the DeSoto car on their way to the home of Sam and Max while talking and discussing about life)
*Pat: Me being the Happy Hippo is something I wanna be in life. Even the children at elementary school call me a happy man.
*Stan: Wise guy. People thought I was the most groachy dog in the whole city. Hello? I am being optimious and curious!
*Sam: Me and Max do a lot of crazy things and happy things all around the world. Tell one happy thing you like to do for example, Max.
*Max: I throw pies, go to the bathroom, dress like a clown and tell jokes on 24/7.
*Pat: Oh, that's really cool. I do jokes on Stan all the time, especially on April Fools day.
*Stan: Don't even start! I hate April Fools and you know it. You always trick me with pranks and lies. Everything! Every year!
*Sam: Not all jokes are bad and funny. Some can be offensive like overused terms and slurs.
*Max: It's okay to be upset and offended, but don't take it too far.
*Pat: You don't have to be errgogant like it's the end of the universe. Nothing bad is gonna bite you back.
*Stan: Yeah. In your dreams, Pat. One day, Aunt Martha is gonna make broccoli salad and you're gonna like it!
*Sam: Broccoli salad? Like pasta salad?!
*Max: Blah. Mind as well not eat broccoli for the side.
*Pat: I'll eat what Aunt Martha offer us when we visit her house for dinner in the next two weeks.
*Stan: I'll rather eat old bread with rotten mashed potatoes if I were you.
*Sam: My mama used to serve baked potatoes for family nutrition dinners.
*Max: So is my papa making carrot cakes. Oh well, we're about to head back home to the house. Let's roll!
(Pat, Stan, Sam and Max left the road and arrive at the suburbs in New York where they show up at Sam and Max's house to park the DeSoto car close to the front car)
*Sam: Home sweet home my friends. Welcome home.
*Max: The house with the broken fence and defunct missile in the roof.
*Pat: This look almost like our childhood home.
*Stan: Our house is even larger, but this house is even decent and better.
*Sam: Talking about old school houses, huh?
*Max: The world thought they are offering small apartments to save money nowadays. Anyways, make yourself at home and don't be shy to step in.
*Pat: We don't live here, but we're going in.
*Stan: *exhale* Ah. Time for some fresh air.
(Pat, Stan, Sam and Max left the DeSoto car and enter the house as they walk through the living room with details of the house like a kitchen, dining room, and bedroom, all filled with all sorts of odd objects and trash)
*Pat: Oh yeah. We're rocking with the suburbs.
*Stan: What a clean house this is. Cleaner than Stuart's house from the neighborhood.
*Sam: This is where we keep all of that moo-lah and kabooney in stock. Like items and rare stuff.
*Max: *jump on the sofa* You can also jump on the sofa like a trampoline like monkeys jumping on the bed like a tattletale!
*Pat: Isn't that song a nursery rhyme or a kids' song?
*Stan: Both. Like wheels on the bus go round and round.
*Sam: *make some coffee at the coffee maker and drink it on a mug* Ah. I've been awake since driving on the road for two hours straight.
*Max: That's a super long day for you.
*Pat: *sit on the sofa with Stan* Yeah. Now we can relax on clean furniture seats.
*Stan: It feels a lot of home.
*Sam: Thinking about home, huh? Also, there's no place like home and you can be anywhere like going over the Moon.
*Max: You can even pass Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune! All over the Solar System, except Pluto cause, that planet is destroyed like millenniums ago.
*Pat: Isn't that planet the smallest and no one even talk about it in the present day?
*Stan: Sometimes. They don't even talk about kids playing in sandlots these days.
*Sam: My biggest throw on baseball when catching Babe Ruth's ball during a baseball match with the kids.
*Max: People be scoring home runs like striking like thunder. Said the gods.
*Pat: Yeah, but is there something fun that we can do in life?
*Stan: Anything fun?
*Sam: Yes. We can take you anywhere to fun around our imaginations.
*Max: *hold a magic hat* Starting with this magic hat!
*Pat: What the? We're going to a world, in a magic hat?
*Sam: Yes. It's pretty simple. We're all going to take you somewhere wacky.
*Max: You're gonna like it. We promise.
*Stan: What does the world has in the magic hat? Colored pencils?
*Sam: You'll see for yourself. Come on in! *suck into the magic hat*
*Max: There's music in my ears! *suck into the magic hat*
*Pat: The magic hat has a portal? I'm going in like a cannonball! *jump to the magic hat*
*Stan: Pat, wait! I don't know what to say in this? *his nose get sucked through the magic hat* No! Not the nose! *scream into his way to the magic hat*
(Pat, Stan, Sam and Max are thrown into a wacky pocket dimension full of clocks, shape models, houses, mirrors, technology and random characters and variants walking in the background while a funny song from the late 80s is playing)
*Stan: Whoa! Where are we?
*Pat: Welcome to the Wacky Dimension. The world that make you stupid and think about all the goofy things that come up to your imagination.
*Stan: What?!
*Pat: This dimension is feeling wacky as always. Look at the floating balls. *see the balls float*
*Max: It is sure is a wacky dimension after all. The animation's suspended, the world is styled and the land is sketchy as a comic book.
*Stan: I feel like we're inside of a cartoon show. I mean, we are cartoon characters and respect the worlds as a medium.
*Sam: I feel like going in song mode here. Now watch. *sing*
I feel like I'm pounding on a big door
No one can hear me knocking,
*Max: *walk through stairs with his friends and go through random rooms*
I feel like I'm falling flat to the floor
No one can catch me from falling
*Pat: *spin a hourglass through the clocks*
The hourglass has no more grains of sand,
My watch has stopped no more turning hands
*Stan: *walk up the stairs as Pat cut off a telephone's wires*
The crew have abandoned ship
The lights are on but now one is in
*Everyone: *dance to the music with the cartoon happy faces with hands and feet and look through the hallway with realistic animals including lions, giraffes, hippos, sheep, deers, rats, meerkats, penguins, parrots, tigers, squirrels, elephants and foxes looking at you with a bunch of random characters walking with Stephanie, Professor Chi-Chi, Emily, Stuart, Aunt Martha, Lili, Momo and the bunnies*
Takeittothebridge throwitoverboard
Seeifitcanswim backuptotheshore
Noonesinthehouse allthelightsareon
Andtheblindsaredown
Takeittothebridge throwitoverboard
Seeifitcanswim backuptotheshore
Noonesinthehouse everyoneisout
Allthelightsareon andtheblindsaredown
*Sam: *call on many phones*
I feel like I'm calling on a telephone
No one can hear the ringing,
*Max: *play with the drums with Pat rocking on a guitar, only to turn out fake while performing*
I feel like I'm running up a steep hill
No one can stop me from running
*Pat: *go through different animation styles through worlds as going realistic, 2D and 3D*
The hourglass has no more grains of sand
My watch has stopped no more turning hands
*Stan: *tick on the clock*
The little hand shakes it's fist
The face is hanging out on a spring
*Everyone: *the babies are seen holding country flags including rainbow Pride and trans flags, babies, kids, teens, adults and old version of Pat, Stan, Sam and Max until their graves are shown through the screenshot changes, Pat and Stan breaking plates, Sam and Max switching clothes to shoot guns and elephants and chickens taking out arrows from the clock to make a hangman out of a stick figure to make a statue*
Takeittothebridge throwitoverboard
Seeifitcanswim backuptotheshore
Noonesinthehouse everyoneisout
Allthelightsareon andtheblindsaredown
Takeittothebridge throwitoverboard
Seeifitcanswim backuptotheshore
Noonesinthehouse everyoneisout
Allthelightsareon andtheblindsaredown
Takeittothebridge throwitoverboard
Seeifitcanswim backuptotheshore
Noonesinthehouse everyoneisout
Allthelightsareon andtheblindsaredown
Takeittothebridge throwitoverboard
Seeifitcanswim backuptotheshore
Noonesinthehouse everyoneisout
Allthelightsareon andtheblindsaredown
*Sam: *play on a saxophone as a dog band perform music for everyone including aliens, elves, trolls, vampires and baby mommies*
The hourglass has no more grains of sand,
Little red grains of sand
*Max: *do the can-can with the female rabbits*
My watch has stopped now more turning hands
Little green neon hands
*Everyone: *the whole world jump into the water as they swim with sketched animations of sea creatures swimming in the sea and hats switching places with each other along with snakes, frogs, cockroaches and rats dancing together on the stage*
Takeittothebridge throwitoverboard
Seeifitcanswim backuptotheshore
Noonesinthehouse everyoneisout
Allthelightsareonandtheblindsaredown
Takeittothebridge throwitoverboard
Seeifitcanswim backuptotheshore
Noonesinthehouse everyoneisout
Allthelightsareonandtheblindsaredown
*Pat: *dance on the beach with the hippos*
I feel like I'm calling back to the shore
No one can hear me calling
*Stan: *flat on the floor with the dogs*
I feel like I'm falling flat to the floor
No one can catch me from falling
*Sam: *fly on a glider with the dogs*
I feel like I'm flying still on the sky
No one even catch me from watching
*Max: *rock on the guitars with the rabbits, only for the whole place to be fake through a green screen setting*
I feel like rocking with the guitars on the set
No one really cut me off through the production of the film
*Rabbit Director: Cut! Take them away! *use the push machine to kick the rabbits out*
*Max: What? I didn't say anything in this. *get kicked out by the machines* Whoa!
*Stan: *he and everyone show up on the pool together* What a family reunion this is.
*Sam: It's good to be back in shape.
*Pat: Yeah. This wacky world is even funnier than I thought in test animation scenes.
*Max: I love you guys so much. It's like the whole world is fake and almost all the people you know are not real.
*Pat: It's like a mirror dimension to a alternate reality, right?
*Sam: All variants exist in every world we go to. Good or bad.
*Stan: The world does love a funny dimension to a alternate world of theirs. *see a wormhole opening up* Uh, what's up in the sky.
*Pat: The whole dimension is gonna get sucked in!
*Sam: We were only here for three minutes. Look like our time is up and we're going back to the real-world.
*Stan: How many minutes does it last to be in this world?
*Max: Three minutes! Three minutes have passed and we're going back up! *he and his friends scream high into the portal*
(Pat, Stan, Sam and Max jump out of the magic hat as they are back at Sam and Max's house, which mean they have returned to the real-world after a brief moment of staying in the wacky dimension)
*Pat: Ooh wee. It's good to be back in this world.
*Stan: Oh, wow. We're back in the world of real.
*Sam: That was fun being in the wacky dimension with a lot of craziness and goofy moments.
*Max: Oh boy, let's go back there to sing the Squeeze song again!
*Pat: No more of that wackiness. We really need a break from goofing around.
*Stan: I feel dizzy here after breaking all the plates and twisting the clocks from time to time.
*Sam: I heard your statement. I guess you needed a break after all.
*Max: You guys said you are on vacation, right?
*Pat: Yes. We are truly on vacation to New York.
*Stan: New York is looking nice and the cities are wonderful as the ones in Colorado.
*Sam: Pretty clever for a big top city. I may be hungry for all the food in the world. But Slothmart is the place to buy all the delicious meals in the city.
*Max: Glazed McGuffins, Mrs. God Maple Syrup, Bowling Balls, everything you want to eat on a diet!
*Pat: You mean a buffet? A diet is something else than a animal's meal of prey.
*Stan: People complain about diets nowadays. Can we all get along and not fight on what we put in our stomachs?
*Sam: Food are just food. We are food, they are food, we are the food. You think people hunt down humans and eat them for lunch? Think again!
*Max: Meat foods exist cause, they have to hunt animals to make delicious meals like these! No offense since I'm a animal, like you three.
*Pat: Everyone have a choice of opinion these days. I prefer eating sausages.
*Stan: That's a meat food. We all love pizzas and bagels, don't we all?
*Sam: Yes. Even pretzels and tacos!
*Max: *jump high* Burritos!
*Pat: Oh yeah. Nothing to see here. Our work here is done for the day and we better prepare for bed.
*Stan: We don't have enough money for a hotel. Where are we going to sleep in? Under a rock?
*Sam: We got a room to share. Come along.
*Max: It will be all yours, as long you share properly.
*Pat: Yes! A room to share for the four of us.
*Stan: No hotel, no motel, we got a room to stay for one night with the cops.
*Sam: I'm sure you're going to love this one as a trophy.
*Max: Sleepover night coming up. *he and everyone walk to the bedroom*
(At night in a neighborhood, a beer festival is being held by adults in a tent as many of the animals and humans are serving all kind of beer to drink and chill with lot of guests)
*Jackal #1: Free beer for everyone!
*Jackal #2: *take a beer on a cooler with everyone* Thanks man. This beer is the goat of all.
*Elephant #1: *drink a beer and burp* Taste like root beer.
*Elephant #2: Root beer is my kind of beer. And I like it better than wine in my opinion. *laugh with his friend*
*Lion #1: *pour some beer to serve to the customers* Take it all with you. We got ice cream flavor beer to try alongside banana pudding with beer flavor!
*Lion #2: *eat a banana sundae with beer* Ho ho ho! This is the life. Drinking to not get drunk on Monday night.
*Quire: *show up on a tent where everyone is having beer* What is this junk tent?
*Goat #1: Yo! Everyone! Quire Sullivan have entered the club! Say hi to Quire!
*Everyone: Hi Quire!
*Quire: What do you folks want? Can't you see the bar closed down early for the night?
*Goat #2: Why they close it down too early? I thought they close at midnight.
*Quire: There were cops! And you know, I hate cops. They better not get in my life, or else!
*Bear #1: That's not closing early. They're just here to investigate what was on the scene like there's a shooting with oil blowing up in the kitchen.
*Quire: They're always after me! Every time I go to a place, the cops always show up and they threaten every time I do something wrong when I didn't do something wrong to their blue faces!
*Bear #2: That's harsh bro. Maybe you should just take a chill pill and drink a beer if you like.
*Quire: And don't call me bro! I hate when people call me that. I only have a sister and that's it! No comment.
*Rabbit #1: What did the cops do to ya?
*Quire: I was accused, harassed, threaten and is a victim of sexual harassment, coming in the names of Sam and Max! *shock everyone*
*Rabbit #2: You know Sam and Max?! Tell us about it.
*Quire: Today, I was trying to take a bus until some fire entity named Satan give me a offer to kill them for their crimes! *shock everyone again*
*Mole #1: You talked to Satan?!
*Mole #2: He is like the deadliest monster of all since the mighty Lucifer!
*Hyena #1: How could you?! *laugh* We all would have been burned if that Satan guy showed up and smash through our homes into coal. *laugh*
*Hyena #2: *laugh* You're friends with the beast entity? Come on man. There's more than all the mighty gods you have known other than Satan, Thor, Loki and Odin.
*Quire: Shut up all! He is real, like Santa Claus. Krampus. Bigfoot. The Easter Bunny. Frankenstein. The Tooth Fairy, Jack Frost. Frosty the Snowman. Dracula. A mummy. A yeti. A pirate. A mermaid. And Baba Yaga! *make everyone clap* Set up the video projector!
*Cat Waiter: *salute* Aye aye, old man. *she and the cats move the tables and beers by setting up a video projector*
*Dog Waiter: *place the camera on the stool* Are we going to watch a movie or a show?
*Quire: This is no show, it's a presentation, dummy!
*Dog Waiter: Man. I thought we were going to watch the new Life in New York for the eleventh time. *play a presentation*
*Quire: To all of my friends and strangers I don't know in the world. There have been a serious crime going on lately in New York. There is a dog and rabbit driving all over town. They are arresting my friends and banning them in places, by the name of Sam and Max! *make everyone boo'd*
*Dog Waiter: Go home, Sam and Max!
*Quire: I know you all hate them so much. But tomorrow morning, we are going to take them down and end their jobs for good! *make everyone cheer* Ha ha ha. I hope these barnacles learn their lessons to not mess with the wrong people and teach the people that banned me in places like the grocery store!
*Cat Waiter: The grocery store banned you for shoplifting?
*Quire: I was just stealing and hiding them at my backpack before one of the managers at Slothmart kicked me out for misbehavior and stealing. You know for many years, Slothmart have been kicking out customers for not finding the right items and no, we're not gonna take it back from what these clerk pricks got to say about themselves.
*Angry Pig: They rob our money at customer service!
*Angry Cow: Take away our favorite items.
*Angry Horse: And recall every item that doesn't look so bad by the picture!
*Quire: And do you know what hurts about it? Ten years ago, a gazelle friend of mine like James try to threaten up customer service for scamming him with expired coupons. Sam and Max showed up to arrest the guy which crush my soul. I am still mad at Slothmart for what they have done to James and THEY'RE GONNA PAY FOR FACING THE CONSEQUENCES EVEN MORE AND WORSE! *calm down*
*Lion #1: Are you okay, mate?
*Quire: I am okay. To all the people that got kicked out of that old Slothmart place, tomorrow. We'll loot the place and burn it all down to the core to make it go out of business. *make everyone clap*
*Wild Frog: Yeah! Slothmart must pay!
*Quire: Anyone is a friend of mine and is a cyber-security who can help hack down all of Slothmart's data?
*Tax: *raise his hand and show himself as a lion with a brown hoodie and long beard* That would be me, sir.
*Quire: Come on in, Tax. Speak for yourself.
*Tax: *walk to Quire* Thanks champ. At least, I brought you this and was suppose to give it for your birthday last year. Look like I'm giving it to you now. *give a pack of cigarettes to Quire*
*Quire: Aw, thanks. But they're too old now. You can have them.
*Tax: But, I don't even smoke.
*Quire: Just take it you bimbo!
*Tax: *grab the cigarettes for himself* Alright, okay. Easy chill. I'll give it to someone else who is a smoker like the ladies at the strip clubs.
*Quire: You walked all this way to give me a gift, huh?
*Tax: I was going to give you something before the message. But okay. As a cyber-security who used to work at Tech-Me-Out for 40 years, I will try hacking all of Slothmart's systems to make all the customers rage at customer service tomorrow.
*Quire: Great. As soon the customers start causing havoc in the store, we'll strike into our way and crash the store like looting in protests. Does anyone agree on me on the statement?! *make everyone cheer*
*Pig Fan: Yeah! To burn Slothmart!
*Tax: You got yourself a fanbase full of regular and disabled people, like me.
*Quire: Thank you very much. *hold a beer* In the meantime, let's cheer our cups and celebrate with a rebellion of invading the grocery store for tomorrow morning! *he and everyone cheer their drinks up*
*Everyone: *chant* Quire! Quire! Quire! Quire! Quire!
*Quire: Sam and Max, you will soon be hearing more from me when you show up for the invasion tomorrow. *evil laugh*
(Back at Sam and Max's house, Pat, Stan, Sam and Max enter the bedroom as they set up the beds for the night while looking around in the bedroom for what they have in the room)
*Pat: *yawn* I feel so tired too soon.
*Stan: *yawn* We still haven't return home yet.
*Sam: What a long day today. Look like you're going to be sleeping with us for the night before we can go to the store to buy food for the morning.
*Max: You can never shop when you're hungry. In fact, you eat everything in all without paying!
*Pat: Oh, no. We'll never steal at the store to eat.
*Stan: We have to pay first. With real money.
*Sam: That what makes you a good person for the community.
*Max: Yeah, you got the nicest traits than anybody in the community.
*Pat: Well, okay. So where are we going to sleep in?
*Stan: Under the bridge? We got no room to sleep.
*Sam: We got a bunk bed to sleep in. Apparently, we always switch places every night when we choose a bunk bed to lay down.
*Max: Like rotating one place to another.
*Pat: We don't have one. At least, that impressionistic painting of you two in a rowboat is looking nice.
*Stan: A work of art like a classic drawing in a museum. Eh?
*Sam: Silly boys. You can share the bed with us for the night.
*Max: I'm taking Stan. You get Pat.
*Pat: Yes! I, got, Sam!
*Stan: I have to sleep with the little rabbit? Eh.
*Max: Who you calling little?
*Sam: Feel free to share a spot.
*Pat: *get on the bed with his friends* Thanks Sam. We could have sleep on the floor like ants if we don't have a mattress to sleep in for the night.
*Max: You can thank us any time.
*Stan: Kudos to you two.
*Pat: It's like a sleepover, but with cops!
*Sam: Freelance Police. Now lights out and rest your eyes before you go blind.
*Stan: Saving all the brightness for tomorrow morning.
*Max: And now, we're off to bed. Have a nice night and sleep tight. And no bed bugs. *he and everyone go to sleep*
(As Pat and the gang go to sleep in the house, the next morning at the tent, Quire and all of his friends are snoring after drinking too much beer last night from being drunk and falling asleep until a alarm clock is off as Quire and everyone else wake up after the beer festival from last night)
*Quire: Huh? Whoa? What happen here? Did I fall asleep for work?
*Tax: It's time, Quire. The sun is up and we're ready to invade the whole grocery store.
*Quire: Yes. It's about time. While we go and set up a plan, you go inside of the store and hack their systems to cause a rage at the place. Got it?
*Tax: Yes. I won't let everyone down on the campaign.
*Lion #1: It's about time you lads.
*Lion #2: We got a supermarket to loot.
*Cat Waiter: The system is going down the rails.
*Dog Waiter: *hold up a bread stick* This means war for the food industry.
*Wild Frog: It's about time Slothmart will pay!
*Pig Fan: *eat a peanut* Let's go loot the grocery store right now!
*Quire: Wheelchair people, follow me. Walkers, you hide in cars before you loot the store and Tax, sneak through the back room where the engines are and cut the wires to hack the systems.
*Tax: You already said it. I'm gonna do what you told me to do.
*Quire: All my other guys did the same thing to other places, but failed. Hopefully, we won't fail this time on looting.
*Weasel Redneck: *salute* To all my soldiers in the team, we'll take back justice who oppose our rights!
*Meerkat Redneck: Yeah! What about the children?! Do we need them?!
*Mongoose Redneck: *crush some cigarretes and coal* We're kicking everyone out over a fight!
*Quire: Let's all go! It's looting time! *make everyone cheer*
*Tax: Slothmart is gonna lose lot of money today. And their taxes will go up to make them lose their business like what happen with Blockbuster! *laugh with everyone*
(The background song "Ever The Same" by Rob Thomas plays as Pat, Stan, Sam and Max wake up in the bunk beds of Sam and Max's bedroom in the house as the gang wake up yawning as they prepare to start the day by getting dressed)
*Pat: Ah. What a morning.
*Stan: Morning fellas.
*Sam: Man, the Sun is up and ready to give us light.
*Max: I feel like a sunshine.
*Pat: Anyone up for some breakfast?
*Stan: Yeah. I'm hungry for fried eggs with bacon strips.
*Sam: Breakfast is always the most important meal of the day and we're up for it.
*Max: Boy, It's time for a feast of morning food.
(Pat, Stan, Sam and Max cook some breakfast together by making fried eggs, bacon strips, ham strips, potato tots and sausages on the pan and serve them on the plates with orange juice to drink with as the gang begin feasting on the breakfast food with love)
*Pat: Oh yeah. Bring in the fried eggs.
*Stan: I feel like a mommy chicken after eating those yolk meals.
*Sam: Who would wanna lay a egg to have a bird chick?
*Max: I'll feed my baby chicken with carrots on the first day.
*Pat: What about raising a baby penguin?
*Stan: Come on Pat. You already raise a penguin once and thought it didn't go through, but did better at the end when the baby met the mommy.
*Sam: I ever thought of raising a baby flamingo and boy, I would love to have a long neck as a stegosaurus, thinking it would be cringy as a cursed meme from 2018.
*Max: *disgust* Blah. I get nightmares from those. Make it stop.
*Pat: We're just making jokes. They're meant to be funny like memes.
*Stan: Outdated jokes are just out of the box, y'all saying?
*Sam: When a meme get old, it doesn't become funny anymore.
*Max: Like the "Rick Roll" song coming back from the dead to appear in every singe Hollywood movie since 2016. Who still does that?
*Pat: I have no problem making my own music as making my own videos with shorts.
*Stan: So does me.
*Sam: Great breakfast you guys. Look like we're hungry for more as we must go to Slothmart for some cereal.
*Max: You should never go shopping when hungry, or if you already ate. Ever! Also, we should buy lunch to prepare for the meantime.
*Pat: Good idea Max. The shopping we go to, the more we be hungry for a little while.
*Stan: We should do that by buying lunch food.
*Sam: Once you enjoy your stay at our world, we'll be happy to own a feast with a little buffet while we're at it.
*Max: We must prepare the car once we finish cleaning up.
(Pat, Stan, Sam and Max clean the table as well cleaning the dishes after breakfast. Once they're done cleaning at the kitchen, they went to the DeSoto car as they prepare to start the car and drive)
*Pat: Car is looking clean as always.
*Stan: Clean as a fine spoon.
*Sam: You know where were going right?
*Max: To Slothmart!
*Pat: Where shopping is a pleasure and to save money and live better.
*Stan: Going out to the zoo to find some fresh food to eat.
*Sam: Oh well, time to start driving to the supermarket while we're at it.
*Max: Let's hit the road! *let Sam drive the car out of the house*
(Pat, Stan, Sam and Max begin driving out of the neighborhood as they drive all the way to Slothmart. The background song end as we head to the parking lot of Slothmart, a large grocery store with many items to find in aisles as Quire and his crew show up outside by hiding in the cars with him setting up a plan to loot all of Slothmart.)
*Quire: There it is. The store I got banned in.
*Tax: Is that the same place where you use the bathroom more than ten times?
*Quire: Yes, when I check the items I steal and also, when to poop and pee on the toilet. All jokes aside, no comment added.
*Pig Fan: Boy, that supermarket is gonna spy on us through thirty cameras in total.
*Bulldog Redneck: If they ever spot us looting, we're screwed.
*Turtle Enginer: No way we're getting screwed over looting if one of us was banned at the store a while back. You know what we're gonna do today when the store is open.
*Tax: I'll hack into their systems to change the prices and charge them with tax attempts.
*Quire: Eureka. You're hitting the jackpott there, Tax.
*Tax: I'll cut some wires and edit some coding to the prices to make them go up and cut the costs by giving them error screens.
*Quire: Every single customer is gonna freak out once the prices are charged up like a inflation in the echocomy.
*Pig Redneck: Talking about caplitisim here. You know, all these riches love to make all that bank money like box-offices at the movie theater.
*Drunk Bear: All these items will be stolen and given by the lord Quire here.
*Quire: Yep. That's me. Once the systems are hacked, the customers will complain and a meltdown will begin by the hands of a freak out.
*Tax: I'll go sneak into the back room where every techology is plugged in the store.
*Quire: Go for it Tax. Make us proud. We're watching you. Just in case the heist go wrong, we'll start the heist by looting with messes.
*Tax: Wish me luck as I'm going in the store. *go inside of the store*
*Quire: That Tax is sure gonna impress me as much as a lottery ticket.
*Pig Neckbeard: Winning the lottery is impossible and harder than I thought than playing bingo.
(Inside of Slothmart, many people are shopping for food as many people are in customer service talking to customers as Tax walk through the store to find the back room. Music is also playing on the radio like Cab Calloway's "Reefer Man" playing in the background.)
*Employee #1: Welcome to Customer Service. How may I help you today?
*Employee #2: Anyone here playing the lottery? Must be 18 years old to play.
*Employee #3: It's a great day to shop at Slothmart. The new sales book is out now to take a look on what's on sale today!
*Tax: Well, well, well. Where can I find the back room? *found a door with "Caution" Ah ha. I found the caution sign where danger lead to trouble.
*Pig Manager: *stop Tax* Whoa whoa whoa. Where are you going?
*Dog Manager: You can't go in there. Managers only.
*Tax: Um, what are you doing?
*Pig Manager: You can't go in here. This place is strict and it's for manager's use only.
*Dog Manager: Is there anything we can help to find what you're looking for?
*Tax: Uh... *see people talking in customer service* I heard customer service is having issues trying to make these lottery tickets work.
*Pig Manager: Oh brother. All these people are having a hard time trying to win these prizes out of loot boxes.
*Dog Manager: We'll go check. You have a good sir day. *he and the other manager walk to customer service*
*Tax: Yes. Now time to sneak in. *enter the back room and see all the wires and eletronics put in the room* Okay. Let's see. How am I going to do this?
(Pat, Stan, Sam and Max arrive at Slothmart as they park their car in the parking lot and walk out of the car to enter the store)
*Pat: Oh yeah. Slothmart is in the house.
*Stan: The store where everything is a pleassure.
*Sam: Save money, live better.
*Max: What are you waiting for? Let's all go inside. *he and his friends enter Slothmart* Ooh. Slothmart got all of these cool deals. I wonder what's buy one, get one free?
*Tax: *in the back room, trying to cut some wires* Ugh, they zap on my hands like taser sticks. *see the computer* Ah. *hack on the systems*
*Employee #1: How would you like to buy some cigarattes?
*Pig Customer: Three. Just three.
*Employee #1: Coming right up.
*Employee #2: Who's up for some lottery check-outs to see who is the winner of the day?
*Dog Customer: Me.
*Rabbit Customer: Oh boy, let us win.
*Frog Customer: Today is the day that I will own a mansion.
*Employee #2: Check in your lottery tickets and see if you win big.
*Goat Customer: Alright. I'm first!
*Tax: *in the back room, hacking the systems* Okay. Hacking is done and let's change it up. *press the button on the computer to glitch every computer in the store*
*Employee #1: *see the screens glitching to charge up the prices* Uh... why is my screen charging milk for hundred dollars?
*Employee #2: I don't get it. Why are the prices going up whenever we touch the scanner on the reSsigner?
*Lion Customer: Hey, why is my lottery ticket not reading?
*Frog Customer: This is a outrage! You charge me five thousand for cigarattes? What a rip-off!
*Rabbit Customer: The sodas went from a low price to a higher price. You need to fix your system and read the labels better!
*Employee #3: Sir. There is a customer outrage going on.
*Employee #4: Even customer service is getting the worse complaints in the line. How do we stop the complaining?
*Pig Manager: The screens are glitching. What is happening to all our beloved customers in the store.
*Dog Manager: I don't know. We should report it to the boss, immeiditya.
*Pig Mom: I don't know what's going on. We need to call the cops. Anyone here is a cop?
*Sam: *hear the customers complaining* That would be us!
*Max: Yeah! Who is raging all over the store when you didn't have enough money?
*Pat: We're volunteers. So, we trainees are paritipating in the stiuation.
*Stan: Uh, I don't get the looks of this. All these customers are about to have a meltdown!
*Goat Customer: You rip me off for a frozen rib!
*Gazelle Customer: Your store is gonna be sued by the authorities!
*Parrot Customer: We want our money back! Get them! *he and the customers attack the customer service desk*
*Employee #1: *hide on the desk with everyone* Oh great. First they're complaining and now, they're attacking.
*Employee #2: How are we going to stop the backlash from happening.
*Employee #3: I don't know. Call the managers?
*Employee #4: The managers are going to handle this. How about we call the cops and security guards into the scene?
*Employee #5: Good idea.
*Employee #6: We need to report the sitation to the Freelance Police now! *use his phone to call the police*
*Pig Manager: The whole store is turning into a wild zoo! This is a outrage!
*Dog Manager: *see the store manager on his way* Sal Manella, thank god you made it. We have a whole lot of customers complaining in all the aisles of the store and customer service. How can we handle this?
*Sal: They're destroying my beloved store! Where are the cops where we need them?!
*Dog Customer: This store is going down the charts! *shoot with a nail to crack on the glass door*
*Sam: Holy bone!
*Max: We need to fight back, now!
*Pat: Okay hungry animals. I know you're hungry for money.
*Stan: *take a few lobsters with him* I'm stealing some lobsters without paying!
*Pig Customer: Hey, he's stealing a item without paying!
*Cow Customer: Hey them!
*Stan: *drop the lobsters* Oh snap. We got a fight in our hands.
TO BE CONTINUED
Next: Pat, Stan, Sam and Max: City Fools (Chapter 3)
Previous: Pat, Stan, Sam and Max: City Fools (Chapter 1)
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:MarioFan65's Fanon Stuff
Category:Fanon