...Now What?

...Now What? is the 40th episode in Hoopla's Fantastic Beach, and the 1st episode in Season 4.
==Transcript==
(The episode starts with flickering static)
Doclement: Testing...testing. 1, 2, 4- I mean 3. The year is 1982. I have created this recording as I have discovered something revolutionary. From what I’ve been told, it could change the course of our history. But I’m afraid at this time I cannot currently reveal it. It’s too early to say. That is why I am recording this video, to show the progress of my work. When the time comes, hopefully I will be able to share this with the outside world. But for now, I’m locking myself up in this bunker for the next 40 years or so.
(The recording stops.)
??: Is it finally time?
???: Yes. Everything has fallen into place. The next phase begins.
(Cut to Hoopla sunbathing)
Hoopla: Oh my goodness...now this...this was worth travelling throughout a million dimensions for. This really is one fantastic beach.
Boopla: Did you actually go to a million different dimensions?
Hoopla: I’ll be honest I can’t recall. Right now, all of that seems like a blur. The only thing on my mind is this amazing warmth.
Boopla: You know Hoopla you can’t keep sunbathing forever. Eventually your skin will burn off. Besides that, you need to actually get a life. Like me, I have a business. I have a wealthy monthly income. I work for it. 
Hoopla: Yeah, well, I worked on saving the world 3 times.
Boopla: But do you get paid for that?
Hoopla: Haha I wish.
Boopla: Look, Hoopla, I can’t keep paying your bills forever. Your parents will eventually run out of social security money-
Hoopla: I’m not sure if that’s how it works-
Boopla: -and to be honest, I don’t think you’re gonna have to save the world again. The odds of it happening 3 times were already very low, so I wouldn’t expect it to happen again. Now is the time when your life actually starts. Everyone else you know is progressing with their life. Meanwhile, you’re doing absolutely nothing.
Hoopla: Says who?
Boopla: The news.
(Boopla pulls up a video of the news)
Realistic Fish Head: HELLO, I’M REALISTIC FISH HEAD, AND YOU’RE WATCHING, THAT’S RIGHT...THE NEWS. RECENTLY, THE ISLAND BY THE NAME OF “NEPTUNE ISLAND”-
Hoopla: Oh so they wait four seasons to tell us the name of the island huh?
Boopla: And it’s such an underwhelming name too.
Realistic Fish Head: -WHICH IS CALLED THAT BECAUSE IT’S THE BIRTHPLACE OF NEPTUNE, HAS RECENTLY GAINED LOTS OF POPULARITY. PREVIOUSLY AN OBSCURE ISLAND, ONLY HABITING DIEHARD NEPTUNE OBSESSORS, IS NOW GAINING ACTUAL TOURISTS DUE TO THE SEVERAL ALMOST WORLD-ENDING EVENTS THAT HAVE OCCURRED THERE. LOTS HAVE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WONDERING, “WHAT’S GOING ON?” HERE’S PERCH PERKINS TO GIVE US THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION.
Perch Perkins: Thank you Realistic Fish Head. Well, originally this all started when a giant wave crashed onto the island. Somehow, this led to a little gnome by the name of “Alpooh” trying to take over, which someone by the name of “Hoopla” stopped. Then some aliens tried to take over, which this “Hoopla” also stopped. And thanks to new best-selling author Dr. Clement Brown’s book, “You May Not Believe This But The Multiverse Actually Exists”, we also found out that this “Hoopla” fellow also stopped the multiverse from being taken over. 
Random guy: Hey this sounds really boring, where's the daily terrorist attack?
Perch Perkins: You’re gonna wanna go to Bikini Bottom Action News for that. Anyway, this book explains all of the adventures this “Hoopla” person went through in the multiverse. It was proven to be legitimate due to the multiversal artifacts left on “Hoopla’s” DNA, which apparently happens when you travel through portals a lot. This book has given the new author lots of success. In fact, it seems all friends of this “Hoopla” thing have gained some sort of success recently. All of these things combined is why the island is very popular today. That brings up a new question, what will “Hoopla” do now? How will he live a normal life knowing everything he does? Why is he wasting his life sunbathing as we spy on him from above?
Hoopla: What the? (looks up) HEY! I CAN SEE YOU!
Perch Perkins: Let's hope a lawsuit isn't among us, heheh. (skidaddles)
Boopla: So do you understand now?
Hoopla: Ehh, I guess.
Boopla: Alright, then answer this question. What will you do now?
Hoopla: Errrrr…
Boopla: As I expected. You're just gonna become a freeloader or something, huh?
Hoopla: That doesn't sound like a good thing so no I won't. But the question is… now what?
(THAT’S THE TITLE OF THE EPISODE! - Cue Intro - Just Kidding We Don’t Have Enough Time For That)
Hoopla: Welp, I’m hearing voices. I’m gonna go visit my parents, maybe they can help me find a job. Or...maybe...you could give me a job?
Boopla: You may be desperate, but man, don’t make yourself that desperate.
(Cut to Hoopla visiting his parents wherever his parents happen to be)
Hoopla: Hey, mom, can you help me find a job?
Zoopla: No sorry I’m too busy right now.
Hoopla: With what?
Woopla: We just got this new pet. Cute it is. Very, very cute indeed.
Hoopla: A pet? You can’t spend your money on this! You gotta keep paying my bills!
Zoopla: But look at our new pet. Her name is Sally the Seal.
(Sally the Seal rolls over onto Hoopla’s feet.)
Hoopla: Wow. She is cute. Also that is some real good merchandising opportunity. Anyway, YOU GOTTA HELP ME FIND A JOB!
Woopla: Can’t Right Now Gotta Keep Petting Cute Seal
Hoopla: But if I can’t get a job then what am I supposed to do?
Zoopla: Well whenever I have existential crises I always go out for a walk and look at some wild animals. It usually calms me down.
Hoopla: Hmm...well, Boopla did mention that jellyfish are living on top of a hill on the island now. I suppose now would be a good time to check that out. See you later, mom. Dad.
Woopla: This is the best decision we’ve made since (insert funny thing here).
Hoopla: Is that supposed to be funny?
Woopla: Yes.
Hoopla: Whatever. Bye now.
(Hoopla leaves the building and walks over to that hill to stare at some jellyfish.)
Jellyfish: (buzz) (buzz)
Hoopla: I’m not sure what I was expecting. But...I suppose it is kinda nice.
Jellyfish: (buzz) (buzz) (buzz)
Hoopla: Yep, everything seems in place. (he sits on a rock and kicks his feet back)
(Silence)
Hoopla: God this is getting real boring. When will I reach enlightenment? Isn’t that what happens when people take nature walks?
Jellyfish: (buzz) (buzz)
Hoopla: This silence is getting me nowhere. I need to at least DO something.
Jellyfish: (buzz) (buzz)
Hoopla: I don’t know how you can do this all day. Just buzzing around. It must be an incredibly boring life.
Jellyfish: (buzz)
Hoopla: If only you could tell me how you do it.
Jellyfish: (bzz)
Hoopla: Welp, I just realized I’ve been talking to a jellyfish about my problems. I’ve officially hit rock bottom...again.
(Hoopla starts to walk back)
Hoopla: I think I’ll go talk to a therapist about my problems instead. That’s a good place to start-
??: Hold it!
Hoopla: Huh? Who said that?
(Hoopla turns around to see another jellyfish behind him.)
Hoopla: Okay...still hearing voices...make sure to tell that to the therapist as well…
Jellyfish: You’re not hearing voices! I said that!
Hoopla: WHAT THE?! NOW I’M HALLUCINATING A TALKING JELLYFISH!
Jellyfish: No, I’m just actually a jellyfish that has developed the ability to speak.
Hoopla: A talking jellyfish...how’s that possible? Well, I suppose Doclement is a talking dog under the sea who is the same size as all of us somehow so this isn’t too far fetched.
Jellyfish: Have you ever heard of this place called school? It’s amazing what they can teach you.
Hoopla: o. And you know, thinking about it more after everything I’ve experienced, a talking jellyfish should be normal at this point.
Jellyfish: Society should really be more accepting of things that are different, like me.
Hoopla: So… what do you want? Are you gonna be like my spirit guide or something that’s gonna help me solve my problems?
Jellyfish: Spirit guide? Nah, I’m just a guy who sells ice cream at the park on weekends.
Hoopla: Could I have some?
Jellyfish: Do you have money?
Hoopla: Heheh….no.
Jellyfish: No ice cream for you then.
Hoopla: Wait a minute, why are you, a talking jellyfish, selling ice cream? You’re the only smart jellyfish I’ve ever seen! Do you know how famous you can be?
Jellyfish: To be honest, I’m not sure if I want all that attention yet. And also I think ice cream could become a very good fuel source in the future.
Hoopla: Wait a second I’m allergic to milk why did I ask for ice cream…
Jellyfish: The mind acts in strange ways.
Hoopla: Hm, you sound smart too.
Jellyfish: Well, I do keep a lot of ideas locked in my head. Although, I’m not sure if anyone would take them from a talking jellyfish.
Hoopla: (gets an idea) Hey...if you and me work together, I can help you spread your ideas to build a better world, and this will give me a job I can get paid for, with all the sponsors we’d get.
Jellyfish: It’s better than selling ice cream for the rest of my life. It’s a deal.
Hoopla: Now, uh, my name is Hoopla. What’s yours?
Jellyfish: Simon.
Hoopla: Wow, you have a smart sounding name too.
Simon: I’d hardly call your name smart. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Hoopla: Well that’s not very nice of you.
Simon: I know. What do we do now?
Hoopla: I feel like I’ve been in this situation before. Well, standing around won’t do much, so...if I’m gonna make you famous, you need to look smart and famous.
Simon: How?
Hoopla: You need some glasses and a tie. You got money right?
Simon: I’m a jellyfish, why would I have money?
Hoopla: I mean, you sell ice cream.
Simon: AND NO ONE BUYS IT!
Hoopla: (sigh) Fine, I guess you can just threaten to sting the person behind the cash register so we can get it for free.
Simon: Sure. And since I’ve been running out of ice cream, I might as well kill the person and get a new creative flavour!
Hoopla: ...Okay well let’s try to keep a good reputation shall we?
Simon: Alright, fine. Let’s just kidnap them instead.
Hoopla: NO! Just… do normal ice cream things.
(Cut to Hoopla and Simon inside an ice cream van in the park. Simon tightens his tie up and pushes his glasses in.)
Simon: I hope that guy doesn’t report us for robbing. He got really scared when I threatened him.
Hoopla: Oh, I always get away with things, we’ll be fine.
Simon: Neat.
Hoopla: ...So just to be clear I get a 60% cut of everything, right?
Simon: Uh- sure.
Hoopla: And for legal reasons this is also my van, right?
Simon: Well-
Hoopla: Oh look, here comes a guy now!
(Tony walks up to the van.)
Tony: Tony
Hoopla: TONY CANT YOU HAVE ANY ORIGINAL LINES! YOU GOTTA STOP MILKING THAT PHRASE! By the way, speaking of milk, this ice cream is made of wonderfully delicious milk you know you should really buy it and give some to the other employees in Boopla’s company so we can get famous and make the world a better place, okay?
Tony: Huh. Sure.
Hoopla: FINALLY! Original lines!
Tony: I’ll have the cookies and cream please.
Simon: Um, we don’t have cookies and cream.
Hoopla: We don’t have cookies and cream?! What kind of establishment is this?!
Tony: Oh, uh… in that case I’ll just have strawberry.
Hoopla: Wait, aren’t you phased that the jellyfish can talk?
Tony: Not really. Doclement is a talking dog under the sea who is the same size as us.
Hoopla: That’s exactly what I said.
Simon: Alright, your strawberry is done. And here’s a couple bonus ones for the other employees. (hands it over)
Hoopla: Hey, don’t get that ice cream too close to me. I don’t want another..shaving cream incident. (shivers)
Tony: Alright, here’s the money. (hands it over) Good thing I’m rich. (walking away) I think I might give little pieces of my ice cream to my ants in my ant farm.
Hoopla: (shouting) AND DON’T FORGET TO TELL THE CREW HOW MUCH YOU LOVED YOUR ICE CREAM!
Simon: Do you think he heard you?
Hoopla: I’m Hoopla, do you know how loud my screams are?
Simon: Oh. 
(Pause. Hoopla looks down at the money they’ve earned.)
Hoopla: Well this is stupid, we’ve only made four dollars so far.
Simon: Well, according to my calculations-
Hoopla: There it is. Every smart person has to say that.
Simon: The crew and a wave of people should be arriving in 3, 2, 1-
(A massive group of people appear)
Hoopla: Dang. Impressive.
Person: THIS ICE CREAM IS AMAZING!
Person 2: IT GAVE ME SO MUCH ENERGY!
Simon: Told you, makes a good fuel source.
Person 3: IT MADE MY HEAD FALL OFF!
(gasp)
Person 3: But it’s opposite day so it stayed on like it normally should.
Person 4: God I love milk.
Boopla: Wow Hoopla, I’m shocked you managed to get a job. This ice cream is so good, it must be from the black market! Yes I still often visit that, just don’t tell the investors.
Hoopla: Well, it wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for this talking jellyfish here named Simon.
(Pause. Boopla looks down at his ice cream.)
Boopla: I… I think I’m gonna go lie down. (walks off)
Hoopla: o
Simon: Th- thanks, Hoopla. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have gotten the courage to start actually getting people to buy my ice cream.
Hoopla: I only did this for my own selfish gain but I have no shame in taking full credit for that.
Person 5: It is a bit strange to have ice cream from a talking jellyfish, but then again, Doclement.
Person 6: (in the distance) I LOVE HIS BOOKS!
Realistic Fish Head: BREAKING NEWS, NEPTUNE ISLAND HAS BECOME EVEN MORE POPULAR DUE TO THIS ICE CREAM VAN SET UP BY HOOPLA AND A TALKING JELLYFISH NAMED SIMON. PEOPLE CAN’T BELIEVE HOW GOOD THE ICE CREAM IS, HOW A TALKING JELLYFISH EXISTS, AND HOW HOOPLA GOT A JOB.
Perch Perkins: I’m here today interviewing Simon and “Hoopla”. You go first, Simon.
Simon: Well, I just wanna say this ice cream business is great and all, but I have bigger ambitions than this. I believe with this newfound fame and wealth, I can use it to make a better world. So, I’m going to be starting a charity called “Uncreative Name Of Charity Because I Can’t Think Of Anything Right Now”, aka “UNOCBICTOARN”.
Perch Perkins: You mean like the Krusty Krab Unfair Charity?
Simon: ...sure. We’ll be donating to the poor, donating to the scientists, donating to fix the planet, and generally making the world a better place.
Hoopla: Wow, you really had this figured out for a while.
Perch Perkins: And “Hoopla”, what do you have to say?
Hoopla: Well, I didn’t have that many goals besides getting a job because I already saved the world three times. I felt like there was nothing left in my life to accomplish. But now, with Simon, I see that the next thing I should do is to make everything in my life perfect. I’M GOING TO FIX ALL OF MY PROBLEMS!
Perch Perkins: That’s quite ambitious. We’ll see if Hoopla’s able to accomplish his goal of making literally everything perfect, which is a very hard task.
Hoopla: It shouldn’t be that hard, cause again, saved the world three times.
Perch Perkins: Ha! And I’m an underpaid news reporter.
Realistic Fish Head: WILL THIS ALL WORK OUT IN THE END? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON THIS FANTASTIC BEACH. YOU’RE WATCHING BIKINI BOTTOM NEWS, WAIT WHY ARE WE EVEN REPORTING NEWS THAT DOESN’T TAKING PLACE IN BIKINI BOTTOM IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Perch Perkins: Er, we’re becoming broke. We need to expand where we report news from.
Realistic Fish Head: OH GEEZ…
(Cut to Doclement in his bunker)
Doclement: (humming) I can’t believe how many copies of that book I sold! I have so much more money to use now. (sips coffee) I suppose I can relax for a little bit..
(Doclement turns on the TV and sees the news report on Hoopla and Simon)
Doclement: (spits out coffee) WHAT?! HOW CAN- How can- Uh...why did I have a strong reaction to that? It’s just Hoopla and a jellyfish selling ice cream. It’s just that…
(The TV automatically turns itself off)
(end)
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