Scourge chat log

Disclaimer: The following was written by Bryan Buckly who ran the site Coffee with Sargeras. There were 3 scourge chat logs in all and this one has been adapted into a radio style show by a few wow commentators such as and .
==Videos==
==Text==
Scourge Chat Log
***User "theLichKing" has entered the chat.*** 
[theLichKing]: Hey 
[theLichKing]: Anyone there? 
[theLichKing]: *drums fingers* 
***User "Kel'Thuz4d" has entered the chat.*** 
[theLichKing]: Hey man. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: my liege 
[theLichKing]: Listen, there's this thing I need you to do for me 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: anything my liege 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: what army must i lay to waste 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: whose lands shall i decimate for ur glory 
[theLichKing]: Um, yeah, I'm good on decimation for today. We're going to hold off on the decimation for, like, a week or so. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok? 
[theLichKing]: I was thinking. How much trouble do you think it would be to have a thermostat installed in the Throne Room? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: ... 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: y? 
[theLichKing]: It's really really cold in here. 
[theLichKing]: I'm Lord of the Scourge. I think I should get a thermostat. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: no its a frozen throne 
[theLichKing]: Right 
[theLichKing]: See that's exactly what I'm talking about. The throne is frozen. The chair that I sit on all day? Literally a block of ice. 
[theLichKing]: It is so very, very cold. 
[theLichKing]: I actually cannot over-emphasize how cold I am on a daily basis. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: but its supposed to be frozen 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: its the source of ur power 
[theLichKing]: About that. Can I get my power transferred to some other source? 
[theLichKing]: Something that isn't made out of ice that I then have to literally sit on? 
[theLichKing]: Someone dropped the ball there. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok so like what should it be then 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: like a ring? 
[theLichKing]: A ring? 
[theLichKing]: Seriously, a ring. 
[theLichKing]: Do you _read_ history? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: so what then 
[theLichKing]: I don't know. I'll think about it. Maybe an armoire. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: armor? 
[theLichKing]: No, not armor. An armoire. The furniture. 
[theLichKing]: Oh but speaking of armor 
[theLichKing]: I have skulls on my kneecaps. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok? 
[theLichKing]: No, it is _not_ okay. 
[theLichKing]: I have skulls. 
[theLichKing]: On my _kneecaps_. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: well for the thermostat i think u need approval from a supervisor 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: ill just get kiljaeden in here and well sort it out 
[theLichKing]: No! 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: no its cool 
[theLichKing]: No, don't... 
[theLichKing]: Ugh, my old boss. I hate this guy. 
[theLichKing]: Ok I'll just...I'll act casual. Like old times. 
***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.*** 
[Killzone'jaeden]: This had better be important. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah lich king here just wants a warmer throne room is all 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Warmer? 
[theLichKing]: No it's really not necessary sir 
[Killzone'jaeden]: You want a warmer throne room? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah 
[theLichKing]: No 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah he does 
[theLichKing]: I really don't. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Ok sure let me just get right on that 
[Killzone'jaeden]: I actually know these guys, they're really great, literally made out of fire 
[Killzone'jaeden]: They could heat your room right up for you 
[Killzone'jaeden]: They're called the Burning Legion...why don't I just invite them to Azeroth so they can come and 
[Killzone'jaeden]: OH WAIT 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Someone's too busy being Chatty Cathy to PREPARE HIS WORLD FOR AN APOCALYPSE 
[theLichKing]: So sorry sir 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Yeah, "sir," that's new 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: hey cmon though its not like weve just been sitting around 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: were spreading plague and stuff 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: we totally spread a lot of plague 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: and dont forget the spider war 
[theLichKing]: Actually I wouldn't mention that... 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Oh yes. The "Spider War." 
[Killzone'jaeden]: The "war" where you spent ten years getting rid 
[Killzone'jaeden]: OF SPIDERS 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Check it out, I had a Mosquito War last night. Mosquito lands on me, I squish it. Done. Two seconds. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Didn't take me ten years 
[Killzone'jaeden]: BECAUSE I'M NOT AN IDIOT 
[theLichKing]: Yes sir 
[theLichKing]: Very sorry sir. 
[theLichKing]: I'm on it. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Y'know what, you know who else might want to hear about this 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Maybe I shold get Sargeras in here 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: Sure.
[theLichKing]: NO! That's not necessary 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Hold on I'll go get him. 
***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.*** 
[theLichKing]: ARE YOU CRAZY 
[theLichKing]: "Sure"? Do you know who Sargeras actually is?? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: i think so hes alliance right 
[theLichKing]: ... 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: horde? 
[theLichKing]: *headdesk* 
***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.*** 
[An00b'arak]: hay guise whats goin on in dis chat 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: sup 
[An00b'arak]: sup 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: sup 
[An00b'arak]: sup 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: whaaaazzzzaaaaaap 
[An00b'arak]: what are yoooooou doing 
[theLichKing]: GUYS 
[theLichKing]: SERIOUSLY 
[An00b'arak]: whats his problem 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: hes cold 
[An00b'arak]: well yeah he sits on a frozen throne inside of icecrown glacier with a sword named frostmorn 
[An00b'arak]: the name icecrown glacier can only imply that among glaciers, which are themselves made of ice, this one is especially icy 
[An00b'arak]: its possible there is some coldness involved 
[theLichKing]: _Thank_ you! 
[theLichKing]: Ok, so install me a thermostat pl0x. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: uh boss ixnay on asking him to install stuff 
[An00b'arak]: what is that supposed to mean?? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: uh 
[An00b'arak]: oh i get it 
[An00b'arak]: bc im an arachnid????? 
[An00b'arak]: and how could i possibly install a thermostat without thumbs 
[An00b'arak]: racist 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: no no no 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: well ok yeah how would that actually work 
[An00b'arak]: im sure i dont know...im just an arachnid 
[An00b'arak]: guess what im not ashamed of what i am 
[An00b'arak]: >8< spider pride 
***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.*** 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: thank god 
***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.*** 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: oh god 
[An00b'arak]: im lodging a formal protest 
[An00b'arak]: i am going to let every1 know the scourge is not an equal opportunity employer 
[An00b'arak]: and i am being discriminated against due to race 
[An00b'arak]: and species 
[An00b'arak]: and phylum 
[theLichKing]: Ok, look, there's no need to get upset 
[An00b'arak]: omg 
[An00b'arak]: dont apologize for him arthas 
***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.*** 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Sargeras is logging on now. 
[theLichKing]: Aw hell. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Precisely. 
[theLichKing]: Listen, I wasn't complaining earlier, the temperature is fine... 
[An00b'arak]: kiljaeden?? 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Excuse me, who is this? I'm *Lord* Jaeden to anybody that's not a Dreadlord. 
[An00b'arak]: listen killy there is some phylumism going down in this piece 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Killy? Oh you do want to die don't you. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Also does nobody capitalize anymore?! 
[Killzone'jaeden]: I didn't spend seven aeons feasting on the souls of the righteous just so I could play typing games with the functionally illiterate. 
[An00b'arak]: no im serious this is a real issue 
[Killzone'jaeden]: *What* is a real issue? 
[An00b'arak]: phylum 
[An00b'arak]: ism 
[Killzone'jaeden]: You best start talking some English 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras? 
[theLichKing]: Precisely. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Don't get cute. 
[An00b'arak]: i am being discriminated against on the basis of my spinal condition 
[Killzone'jaeden]: What is your spinal condition? 
[An00b'arak]: i dont have 1 
[Killzone'jaeden]: What? 
[An00b'arak]: im an arachnid 
[An00b'arak]: >8< spider power 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Hey LK I thought you squished all of them already. You spent ten years on these morons and you didn't even finish the job? 
[An00b'arak]: what 
[theLichKing]: Yeah I reanimated him. I'm the Lich King, it's sort of what I do. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: So you smashed a bunch of bugs 
[Killzone'jaeden]: And then you were like, 
[Killzone'jaeden]: "Huh! I sure would like to have those bugs back again!" 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Is your brain frozen or what? 
[theLichKing]: Ok that's kind of what I was getting at before. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: That you're an idiot? 
[An00b'arak]: ur horrible 
[An00b'arak]: ur a phylumist 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Oh no, I'm horrible. Why don't you go and tell all my demon friends how horrible I am. They will be shocked. 
[An00b'arak]: phylumist phylumist phulymst phylimist 
[An00b'arak]: that gets hard to type after a while though 
***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.*** 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: thank god 
***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.*** 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: oh god 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: go back to your hole 
[theLichKing]: Yeah get out of here 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Go back to your hole, spider 
[An00b'arak]: p 
[An00b'arak]: h 
[An00b'arak]: y 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: lolwut 
[An00b'arak]: l 
[An00b'arak]: u 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Shut. Up. 
[An00b'arak]: m 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Dude get rid of this guy. 
[An00b'arak]: i
***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.*** 
***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.*** 
[An00b'arak]: sts 
***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.*** 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Finally 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras 
[theLichKing]: It's really not necessary, I withdraw my request completely. 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: no he wants armor 
[theLichKing]: An *armoire.* 
[theLichKing]: Of power. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: I cannot express how much I hate both of you. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: And this is coming from someone whose lungs are made out of solidified hate. 
***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.*** 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: hey everyone ^_^ 
[theLichKing]: How did you get in here?! 
[theLichKing]: This is a private chat! 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: lol :) 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: i hacked admin :) 
***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "~*`Sylvanas'*~" from the chat.*** 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: lol lol lol 
[Killzone'jaeden]: TIE fighters 
[theLichKing]: What? 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Nothing. Can't you kick her out? 
[theLichKing]: I just tried 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: admin guys lol 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: :) ^___^ 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: oh plus i can chat under ur names check this out 
[theLichKing]: im a little girl and i like ponies lol 
[theLichKing]: What! I hate ponies! 
[Killzone'jaeden]: ROFLMAO 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: she hax0red you dude 
[theLichKing]: This isn't funny! 
[theLichKing]: i play with dolls 
[theLichKing]: and bake cookies with my mommy 
[theLichKing]: Untrue! I deny everything 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Hahaha 
[theLichKing]: Ok guys this is lame let's just go to a different chat room 
[Killzone'jaeden]: NO! 
[Killzone'jaeden]: We're waiting for Sargeras! 
[Killzone'jaeden]: It's next to impossible to get him into these things anyway 
[Killzone'jaeden]: I'm not going to confuse him 
[theLichKing]: im a little teapot short and stout 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Besides this is hilarious 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Sargeras is going to get here and you'll be singing about teapots...you'll get pwned 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Maybe he'll buy you a "pwny" 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Hahaha see what I did there 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: i dont get it 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: wait ok but thats dumb 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Wordplay. Look it up. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: i like to dress up like a girl 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Oh now she's doing it to me too 
[Killzone'jaeden]: i like to put on women's clothes 
[Killzone'jaeden]: and pretend im a woman 
***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.*** 
[Killzone'jaeden]: and look at myself in the mirror all pretty 
[Killzone'jaeden]: and call myself the prettiest prettiest princess 
[theLichKing]: Umm she's not here anymore 
[theLichKing]: Are you just typing that stuff yourself? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: ... 
[theLichKing]: ... 
[Killzone'jaeden]: ... 
[Killzone'jaeden]: WHERE THE HELL IS SARGERAS 
***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.*** 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: heeeeeee~ 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: omg wtf this sux 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: i have a dungeon to run 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: pcs are going to be like raiding me and shiz 
[theLichKing]: Oh please. The expansion is called "Wrath of the Lich King." It's got my _name_ in it. You don't think a few guilds are going to be farming me as soon as I'm a fightable boss? 
[theLichKing]: probably not because i suck so much 
[theLichKing]: DAMMIT SYLVANAS 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok and now my cat is 8fwhwe8ufhffweeexvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: walking on my keyboard 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: hold on afk 
[theLichKing]: You have a cat? 
[theLichKing]: Seriously? 
[theLichKing]: You're a freaking skeleton lord. Why do you have a cat? 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Yeah why *do* you have a cat? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: back, had to put the cat out 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: and ok 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: two things 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: first, cats are awesome 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: second, RACISM?? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: "freaking skeleton lord" 
[Killzone'jaeden]: WTF is wrong with you people? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: hey! what do you mean..."you people" 
[Killzone'jaeden]: What do YOU mean, "you people"? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: hahahaha 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Hahahaha...Tropic Thunder, great movie. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: i like to poop 
[theLichKing]: ... 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Ok that one I actually did not say, that was Sylvanas that time 
[theLichKing]: ... 
[Killzone'jaeden]: No seriously this time it was her 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: "this time"? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: wait so u really do like to wear womens clothes 
[theLichKing]: You are, in fact, the prettiest prettiest princess? 
[Killzone'jaeden]: No, of course not 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: do u have a panty drawer 
[Killzone'jaeden]: No! I wear boxers. With thorns on them. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: And skulls.
[theLichKing]: Ok were the skulls on the kneecaps YOUR idea then?? 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Wait what? 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah dont change the subject 
***User "SARGERAS" has entered the chat.*** 
[SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUME ALL HTE WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!1 
[SARGERAS]: I AM INVINICBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[SARGERAS]: I AM HTE DARK TITAN!!!111111!1! 
[Killzone'jaeden]: oh god 
[SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUM ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!1!!!!!! 
[theLichKing]: You actually said that already 
[Killzone'jaeden]: He spelled it different though. 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Dark Lord, there is an issue we need you to resolve 
[SARGERAS]: NOTHING CAN DEFET ME BECUASE I AM DEFEAT EVERONE!!!!!!!!!! 
[SARGERAS]: I AM SARGERAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[SARGERAS]: TEH DARK TIT AN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Right 
[Killzone'jaeden]: But what we're going for is 
[theLichKing]: Yeah I'm confident he'll be able to resolve this 
[Killzone'jaeden]: The Lich King has this complaint... 
[SARGERAS]: I AM DESTORYING ALL WORLDS RIGT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[SARGERAS]: i wear little pink girly panties 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: omg 
[SARGERAS]: WHATTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[theLichKing]: hahahahaha 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: pwned 
[SARGERAS]: I DID NTO SAY THAT!11111111111111111111 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: i dunno about you guys but im kinda turned on right now 
[theLichKing]: Rule 34 
[SARGERAS]: yeah, you like that, there's more where that came from 
[SARGERAS]: *twirls hair seductively* 
[SARGERAS]: I DID NOT SYA THAT EITHERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[SARGERAS]: I WILL DESTROY ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[SARGERAS]: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[SARGERAS]: ! 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: *dies laughing* 
[Killzone'jaeden]: Ok I'm done 
[Killzone'jaeden]: F this 
[Killzone'jaeden]: I'm outta here 
[Killzone'jaeden]: I hate Azeroth 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: aw dont go :) 
***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.*** 
[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: byeee~ 
[SARGERAS]: I USE SUPER ULTIMATE ATTACK FOR EIGHT MILLION POINS!!!!11 
[theLichKing]: Hey I think he spelled all the words right in that one 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: missed a t 
[theLichKing]: Aw, yeah 
[theLichKing]: So close 
***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.*** 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok im out too 
[theLichKing]: Ugh fine 
[theLichKing]: TTYL 
[Kel'Thuz4d]: ttyl 
***User "Kel'Thuz4d" has left the chat.*** 
[SARGERAS]: GAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! 
[theLichKing]: This is the worst chat ever. 
[theLichKing]: The worst. 
[theLichKing]: The worst. 
[theLichKing]: Whatevs, titan dude. I'm done. 
[theLichKing]: Still freezing my ass off though. 
[theLichKing]: *wrath* 
***User "theLichKing" has left the chat.*** 
[SARGERAS]: *looks around* 
[SARGERAS]: Chat empty? 
[SARGERAS]: ... 
[SARGERAS]: I have eaten 
[SARGERAS]: the plums 
[SARGERAS]: that were in 
[SARGERAS]: the icebox 
[SARGERAS]: and which 
[SARGERAS]: you were probably 
[SARGERAS]: saving 
[SARGERAS]: for breakfast 
[SARGERAS]: Forgive me 
[SARGERAS]: they were delicious 
[SARGERAS]: so sweet 
[SARGERAS]: and so cold 
[SARGERAS]: ;-) 
***User "SARGERAS" has left the chat.***