All 22.2 - Desire

It was midday, and everyone was taking a lunchtime break from travelling. They had come to a small river with a stand of trees that looked like a nice refuge from the hot late summer day in the open, unforgiving chaparral, and since the horses they now traveled with couldn't just be dismissed and replaced with freshly-summoned ones, they decided it would be prudent to allow them a break as well. It had been two nights since everyone's minds and bodies had been scrambled by the fey Gemini as a test, and everyone seemed to have mostly settled into their borrowed bodies, although Cheko had become very withdrawn and timid, shunning everyone as best she could. Without magic, they had needed to purchase horses to speed their travel inland, and there was no hastening their pace without wearing themselves thin.
Sitting on the riverbank with his feet in the water, Lucca watched the nearby horses go about their business with more than a mild interest. The animals paid him no mind, a pleasant change from the usual wariness and occasional outright fear the druid tended to brook in his usual body. It wasnt long before his thoughts began to wander, and with it, his attention. The entire situation weirded him out, and while he had adjusted fairly well, having lucked out and gotten switched to the body of someone he was quite comfortable with, it was not without issues. For one, the lack of his shapeshifting powers, as well as his magic was more than a little upsetting. Furthermore, he had found himself confronted with an array of strange feelings, and wasnt quite sure what to make of them. Letting his gaze drift out across the water, he took a bite of his peach, chewing thoughtfully. Most of the others were at least some distance away, taking the time to have some solitude before grouping up again. A rustling noise behind him caught his attention, and he turned to see a young elf walk through the underbrush. Though normally it would be his friend Cress, at the moment he knew it to be Victor, the displaced personality underscored by the fact that Victor was still wearing his own clothes, seeing as how the two of them weren't so different in size so as to warrant a wardrobe swap as well. The sight of Victor's clothing on Cress' usually laid-back person was odd for anyone who knew the elf, and coupled with his demeanor, mannerisms and regional accent made Victor appear actually quite unlike Cress, though still not as himself. He greeted Lucca with a nod and took to leaning against a tree in the shade, far enough away to keep his shoes from getting wet. Looking out over the river, he offered, "It's unfortunate that we weren't doing this next month, when it would be cooler. We can't make any better time without dehydrating ourselves and the horses."
"I know right? It's gonna take like, forever to get there at this rate." Lucca shrugged in response, then turned to look up at him momentarily, "What're you up to?"
"Nothing in particular. It's cooler here, and Virgil got Itzli talking again. He has an entire country's worth of stories he's never heard, and is having a marvelous time picturing Pierce doing everything the Dragon King supposedly did." He brought his gaze back towards Lucca, "What about you? You're mulling something. Anything in particular bothering you? Moreso than the obvious, of course," he added, rolling his eyes a bit.
As Victor spoke, Lucca watched his lips moving rather intently, biting absently at his own. Seeming to suddenly realize what he was doing, he blinked and moved his gaze elsewhere, focusing on the river. "Eeh, not really. It's all just kinda weird, you know? Feels funny, not being me, and not in the ways that shifting does, which just makes it stranger." He shrugged once more, wiggled his toes under the water, "I dunno, it ain't no thing though, no worries."
"I suppose," he said. He dropped his eyes to look at his hands as he commented, "Honestly, Cress isn't too physically different than me. A little stiffer, a little broader. Younger, stronger. Really, the hair is one of the biggest differences, and that's saying something. No matter. There's no danger, and we'll reclaim what's ours when we get there." He leaned against the tree and looked at the river for a minute before turning his gaze back over to Lucca, watching him silently, without obvious intent or emotion, merely a curiosity, as Lucca moved his feet through the water and finished his peach. 
After a while the sensation of his gaze drew the other man's attention, and Lucca turned to regard him with slight suspicion. "What?" He asked plainly, quirking an eyebrow, adding "Quit bein' a creeper, geezer."
"I'm sorry. It's just, interesting, being able to see yourself," he apologized, but didn't actually break his gaze. "It's like being a ghost and watching yourself move around without you. I suppose you wouldn't really know, since Ryuji doesn't look like you at all, but, it's an interesting thing to see. I wonder if I always look like that. Is that how I sit? Is that what my face looks like? How I walk? What I sound like? How much of what I'm seeing is me, what other people see usually, and how much is you? Because I can still certainly recognize you there. It's a very curious thing." He settled back again, "Don't mind me. I'll stop if it truly bothers you." 
Lucca considered this for a moment, "Fair enough...that does sound pretty neat, honestly." Shaking his head slightly, he added, "and no, you don't have to stop, it's cool. It's just..." he trailed off with a strange look, then cleared his throat and returned his gaze to the water, "It's cool, no worries."
Victor looked mildly worried as he replied, "There's still something bothering you, isn't there? What is it?" He took a few steps forward to close the gap between them, looking down with a concerned affect.
He stiffened a bit at the other man's approach and began to fiddle absently with a lock of his hair. He answered with a dismissive wave, not looking up, and keeping his tone light, "Nah, it's nothing. I already said, weird feels and all. But it's fine, like, I ain't even really bothered by 'em, serious."
"You certainly look bothered..." he replied. He walked around to stand beside him, so as to better see Lucca's face. "What sort of 'weird feelings'? Is it something to do with me? Or my body, as it were? I won't be offended if it's..." he trailed off, as a look of realization crossed over his eyes. He stifled a look of amusement as he continued, "You certainly aren't going to get rid of the weird feeling sitting and thinking about it. If it's what I'm assuming, mind you."
Lucca twitched and shot him a sidelong glance, looking for all the world like he'd been caught doing something wrong. He quickly turned back to the water, leveling an embarrassed scowl at it. "Fuck you, old man," he growled folding his arms, his face reddening. "It's not funny!"
Smiling fully now, he replied, "I beg to differ. It is certainly a little funny at least. I think I'm allowed that much, seeing as how everyone else finds it so hilarious when it's me." He leaned over and said wryly, "Perhaps we can find some birds."
"Get outta here, prick!" Lucca took a swing at him, blushing darker still, "Just 'cause you're a birdfucker don't mean I'm at all interested in that shit, even if I do have your stupid geezer body! You can fuck right off, you smug son of a bitch!"
Victor hopped back, putting up his hands defensively, expression still congenial, "I'm sorry, I apologize. It must be terribly awkward, I don't mean to offend you. Or offend you more, at least. You can get your mind off of it, it just takes some focus. I suppose I've had more practice at it, but I'm sure you can get a handle on it all the same. Or, if you can keep your offense at a minimum at the suggestion, you could...experiment with it, I suppose. I don't mind what you do with my body, that's your business. Think of it as an opportunity, if you want. Either way, feel free to ask for advice. I have lived with that body for some time, I have a good grasp of its...intricacies."
Lucca's gaze whipped back over to him and he stared at Victor as if the man had suddenly grown two heads. After a long moment spend gaping at him he stammered, "You...you have got to be kidding me. That's...ridiculous...like...how even...who...it's just...crazy talk, dude." He closed his eyes and gave his head a hard shake.
"You're thinking about it far too hard. It's, if you don't mind me saying, an exhilarating feeling, if you embrace it. But sitting and half-considering your impulses isn't worth your time. Either put it out of your mind, or enjoy it. What do you want? It's really as simple as that."
Looking uncertainly at him once more, he pursed his lips and considered this for some time, eventually offering weakly, "I don't know...?" In spite of his words, there was something in Lucca's expression as he looked at the other man, a hint of something reminiscent of longing, that betrayed his actual thoughts. After a moment he swallowed hard and dropped his gaze.
"Oh, Lucca Lucca Lucca," Victor said, a dark sort of grin on his face. "It's the sparring room all over again. I'm not asking what you think. I'm not asking what you feel." He leaned over and put his mouth up to Lucca's ear, his breath sending shivers down Lucca's spine. "I'm asking what you want."
He flinched away with a sharp gasp, the colour rising to his cheeks once more as he turned to look at the other man, their faces barely inches apart. "Dude...what the hell?" he stared at him searchingly, a piquant mixture of apprehension and confusion mingling with a growing undercurrent of desire showing plainly on his face, "The fuck are you tryin' to pull?" He shifted slightly, pulling his feet out of the water and turning to face him.
"Well, that depends on you, doesn't it?" he replied calmly, his gaze fixing on Lucca's grey eyes and holding them. "I certainly don't want to do anything you don't want. That would be terribly untoward, and I would feel awful if I wounded you in some way. I suppose I'm at least partly toying with you; I know what I find exciting, and I'm interested to see if those things stayed with my body. For example," he paused as he reached deftly around and untied Lucca's hair, the white locks falling loosely about his shoulders. "I do rather enjoy hair; do you feel the same?" He ran his hand along Lucca's temple and through his hair, back and along the side of his neck.
As he did so, the druid's eyes fluttered shut and a soft noise escaped him, "Not fair, old man," he murmured, "you already know that..." Twisting away as Victor's hand reached his neck, he gazed at it almost wistfully before returning his gaze to his face.
He smiled again, somehow both kind and terribly domineering, "I'll admit a fascination with my body. I think few would deny having at least some interest in the thought, presented with it. But again, I'm not going to do anything. That you. Don't. Want." He enunciated each word pointedly, individually.
Lucca swallowed hard, at a loss for words. He stared searchingly at Victor for a long moment, his eyes locked with the other man's, his expression almost vulnerable. Licking his lips, he took a deep breath and said, barely audibly, "...I do...want..." and immediately broke his gaze, biting lightly at his lip.
"Hmn," Victor said with his twisted grin. He put his hand behind Lucca's neck and pulled his head forward, so that his lips were grazing his ear once more. "Not enough, apparently," he whispered breathily. "But you will. If I'm what you want, you will want it, more than anything. By the time we're finished, it won't be whispers and furtive glances. Trust me in that. Because Lucca, I don't bolt my food down. I savour it. And I will force you to sit and enjoy every last second, until your desire drives you half mad, and then, maybe, I might release you. There are easier, faster, people to desire, whom I'm certain are within your reach. But, just as I refuse to eat quickly, so too do I refuse in this. So, I will ask you, once more, what you want."
Shivering at his words as much as his touch, it took Lucca a few tries before he managed to stammer out a response, his voice tight with longing and a tinge of something bordering on fear, "I-I want...y-" he took a deep breath and said in a rush, "you, you big moron, I want you." His voice dropped to a whisper once more as he added, "...however suits you...I don't care...and you fucking well know it..."
He could feel Victor's lips smiling against him. "I am certainly not a moron. I merely make you admit the things you'd rather not face. Unfortunately..." he trailed off, and almost as if on cue, a whistle call cried out; Clover was signalling everyone to regroup to continue their trek. "Now is not a good time." He pulled back and stood up, and though the face was Cress', the expression was undeniably that of Victor. "We shall continue this later," he added, stepping back and waiting for Lucca to put his shoes back on. Rubbing absently at his ear, the druid said nothing, instead shooting him a funny look that spoke of both disappointment and a nervous anticipation.
As Lucca fumblingly slid his boots back on, a voice muttered in his head, Can't say I've seen an incubus work before. Moderately impressed. Guy's got skill.
Shut up. A commentary is about the last thing I'm interested in right now, especially outta you. He retorted with a scowl, his eyes flitting towards the mask as he made a silent mental note to ditch it in his bag 'later'.
Harlequin gave an exaggerated sigh. You never want to talk. I should have partnered with someone more sociable, he complained.
Lucca simply rolled his eyes, far too concerned with much bigger issues to banter with the fey.
As they neared the path, Victor stopped and added over his shoulder, "I normally wouldn't care too much, but you should probably inform Cress. Clover established a precedent, as it were, and while I obviously don't care what you do with my body, I wouldn't want you feeling guilty to your friend. I suppose I also wouldn't want to do something that offends him deeply, particularly because the point was made clear. I would assume you're the better one to get his permission; it would seem odd, coming from me, so you should probably speak to him. If you want to go forward, that is," he added with a smirk.
Lucca blanched and stared at him, then covered his face with both hands, groaning, "Uuuuuugh for fuck's sake...you're right, it's only fair...spirits help me...uuugh." Dropping his hands with a sigh, he shook his head, "...I'll talk to him."
----
The afternoon's travel was long and hot. Every time Lucca happened to glance towards Victor, his emerald eyes were already watching him, with his mouth forming his familiar knowing, slightly smug grin.
----
It was later that day when Lucca finally cornered Cress, catching him out of earshot of the rest of the group. Looking painfully uncomfortable, he took a deep breath and forced himself to broach the topic, his voice low.
"Yo, dude, I wanted to, uh, ask you, um, about something?"
Cress' laid back stance was actually oddly similar to Pierce's normal posture, though it did give him the overall impression of a man desperately missing his lost youth. "Sure. What's up?" his expression was pleasant and slightly expectant.
"Um..." There was a long pause. Tugging anxiously at a lock of his hair, he finally said, "So like, you know how Victor's got your body right now? Um...we were like...wondering...if you'd like...be uh, mad or something...or like, not want...which would be cool too, if you're not cool with it, we wouldn't...but like...um...could we..." He cleared his throat, dropping his voice further still, his tone giving meaning to the words, "you know."
He blinked a few times; it took a few seconds for the meaning to sink in, at which point he brought his palm to his face. "Duuuuude..." Blushing and flustering, Lucca stammered out an apology. Cress gave him a look, and continued, "Dude, isn't that what Clover..." he cut himself off and sighed. "Ugh, you know what, whatever, it's cool, it's cool. Mr. E's got like got like, a crazy messed up sex drive: I know he was shagging gnoll chicks back in the pyramid city. I don't wanna fuckin' blueball him or something if he wants to fuck himself. Weirdo. So cool man, go for it, just...don't tell me anything about it ever. And don't go getting some sort of fuckin' fetish for me or something, 'cause I am not fucking you when I get my body back. ...And make sure he showers or something afterwards." 
"Not a fuckin' word about it ever, dude, promise," he said firmly, wincing slightly as he added, "And like...thanks? For bein' cool about it? And sorry again." 
"Eh. Someone owes me," he said, rolling his eyes a bit. He started to turn to leave, when he stopped. Shutting his eyes, he added, "Ok...ok, this is gonna bug me, so I've gotta ask." He sighed a bit, "I know you, and you sure as Hell wouldn't be agreeing to this or asking this if you didn't wanna do it too, and that's cool, whatever, but, please, please just tell me that it's Victor who's got you turned on and not me. 'Cause that's gonna do weird things to the friendship if you've been like, secretly wanting to screw me the whole time and you're just taking the chance 'cause someone else looks just like me."
Lucca blinked and stared at him for a moment before an almost appalled look came over his face. "I do not wanna screw you dude! Never have, and I don't now! No offense, but no. No. Noooo. We're bros; I don't even remotely like you in that way..." He shook his head to emphasize the point, adding self-conciously, "...I'd frankly rather he didn't look like you, 'cause yeah, it's weird...and...yeah."
Cress held up his hands to stop him, "Cool! Ok! Good! Fine! Go, live the dream. Not bringing it up again! Woo! Dinner! Totally thinking about dinner!" He turned to leave again.
"Yup! Dinner! Good stuff!" Lucca nodded, only too grateful for the change of topic. Heading off in the other direction, he added. "I'ma go see about getting the horses watered, catch ya later! And made a beeline for the opposite end of the camp.
----
By the time night fell, they had come upon a roadside inn where they agreed to spend the night. It wasn't large, so people had split into groups to share rooms. 
Lucca had opted to sleep outside, as was his habit many nights. The crowded state of the inn, and cloying heat, as well as the powerful nervousness churning in his stomach all served to make the idea only that much more enticing. To that end, he had made himself a comfortable nest of sorts in a particularly dense stand of trees, and was engaged in a valiant attempt at reading in spite of his distracted thoughts when Victor came to collect him. He never spoke, but looked up at him in the tree, made a small gesture and began to move back towards the building, intending for Lucca to follow him. After a moment's hesitation, he tucked his book away and silently dropped to the ground, falling into step behind the other man.
Leading the way, Victor went to another room, separate from where the others were sleeping. Pulling out a key, he unlocked the door and entered the room, leaving the door for Lucca to follow him. As he entered, he saw Victor finish lighting an oil lamp on a small bedside table. Like the other rooms, it held little more than a pair of beds, two endtables and a chest of drawers. With an amount of purpose, Victor moved towards the chest and, from his pockets, produced and lined up three small vials, each filled with a greenish liquid. Finally, he pulled out a hat: a small brown hat that Lucca recognized as Cheko's. Putting it on, his appearance changed: he wore the same clothes, but instead of looking like Cress in a hat, he looked like himself, the hat becoming a ribbon that tied back his hair. His hair, despite its natural colour being white now, was the silvering black it had been before the ascension; there may have been more subtle discrepancies, but in the dim light it was hard to tell. "The doctor," he said, "had three potions of Alter Self that I could have. He also lent me Cheko's hat, as she had apparently never asked him for it." His voice was still Cress': an odd juxtaposition. "It's obviously far from perfect, but, I thought it may be less jarring." Gesturing to the bottles, he said, "If you'd rather be yourself, or anyone else, feel free. Or I could use one if you'd rather I feel and sound like myself as well."
"I...I don't know...I guess so..." he began as he reached out to take one of the vials, inspecting it as he considered this development for a long moment, "...Yeah, I think I will...thank you...How long does this stuff last for?"
"Only about ten minutes each. Hardly much time at all, really. It will suffice as a warm-up," he said as he methodically untied and removed his bracers and sword, placing them on the table near the bed.
Lucca muttered something under his breath about 'lame-ass fake-shifting' before falling silent once more, alternating between watching Victor and watching the vial his hands were fiddling with anxiously.
After taking off his cloak and laying it on the far bed, he turned his attentions back towards Lucca. In the dim light, it looked like two nearly identical men stood looking at each other, different only in their clothes and hair colour, but only one, with his infinitely self-assured, vague expression, could be the real Victor. He closed the gap between them and, taking Lucca's chin lightly in his hand, he asked quietly, "Why so fearful?"
He blinked, a frown of confusion touching his mouth, "I...what sort of question is that?" dropping his gaze, he added quietly, "You know damn well, old man..."
"I do," he replied simply. "And as in every other thing, it is never about what I do or do not know."  He used his other hand to gently brush back Lucca's bangs, and his fingers continued back to untie his hair once more. "It is not often that I force your words for my benefit." Gently stroking his hair and ear, he tilted Lucca's face upward gently with his other hand, reclaiming his eye contact. "You do not tell me, when I ask you questions. You tell yourself. I do not let you hide or ignore. I will not see you cower or waste. Say why you are afraid."
Half-closing his eyes and leaning into the touch, he nonetheless made a small noise of displeasure at being pressed to speak, "Because I've never...and I don't know what I'm doing...and this shit always freaked me out, even if it doesn't right now, even if it's the complete opposite right now...and because of..." he faltered and heaved a heavy sigh, giving Victor a pleading look, "Please don't make me say the rest out loud again...it was shitty enough the first time..."
Victor smiled a little wider. "I might later," he said toyingly. "But for now, it's not a matter of knowing what to do. It is the same as everything I've told you all along." He moved his hand from Lucca's chin around to the back of his head and pressed himself up tightly against him, moving his face to whisper into Lucca's ear once more, earning a gasp from the druid. "We will consider everything. There will be nothing hidden, nothing overlooked, nothing cowered from. Every button," he dragged his finger up along the center of Lucca's shirt, "every angle," it continued up his neck and chin, "every inch," stopping finally on his lips. "And when that is done, and everything is known, all that's left..." he pulled his hand away, making an open-palmed gesture, "is your desire. And at that point, how matters little, because you find you already know." Quivering slightly, Lucca stared at him, pulse racing. He opened and closed his mouth soundlessly a few times, at a loss for words. Victor's hand returned to Lucca's chest and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him even closer in as he pressed his mouth into Lucca's ear, continuing, "I will strip away your fears and thoughts and emotions until there is nothing left but your desire. Then I will ask you again, and you will tell." Using the hand that was still behind Lucca's head, he pulled on his white hair and twisted his face to point towards his, pressing his lips to his own. It lasted a brief second, and Victor finished, his face tantalizingly close but not actually touching Lucca's, "But that will take some time. So use your potion, if you want. Then we can begin."
Lucca stared at him, his breaths coming quick and heavy already, and moved to close the gap between their lips once more. Victor's hand shot up, blocking the motion; he smiled teasingly, tracing a line along his lower lip with his index finger, "Don't rush your meal. We will get there in good time." He took a step back, gesturing with his eyes at the vial still clutched in Lucca's hand.
After a second of consideration, Lucca uncorked the vial and gulped down the potion. His eyes fluttered shut as he focused on directing shift, the unfamiliar magic bringing about the intimately familiar sensations of shapeshifting, and altering his form to another both men knew well. A strange little smile flitted across his lips as a magnificent river of black hair cascaded down his shoulders, pooling on the floor as he lost close to a foot of height. When he opened his eyes to look expectantly at Victor once more they were an odd pinkish colour rather than their usual eerie white; one of the only visible deviations from his actual changeling form. Victor smiled, stepping in close again. He leaned over Lucca, tilting him back and supporting him with his right arm as he ran his left broadly through his tresses. "You do have magnificent hair," he said, still smiling, before pressing his lips to Lucca's once more. A small, startled noise escaped the druid, quickly morphing into a soft groan as he hungrily returned the kiss, reaching up to tangle his fingers in the other man's hair.
----
It was much, much later, that the two lay quietly on the bed. Lucca, whose potions had long since worn off, lay sleeping, head resting on Victor's chest. Victor absently stroked Lucca's hair as he held him in his arms, looking very close to sleep himself. He nearly nodded off several times before finally, carefully, pulling himself out from underneath. Without waking, Lucca made a small noise of protest and gave a halfhearted attempt to stop him. "As much as I would love nothing more than to stay here," he whispered to the sleeping man, barely stirred by the motion, exhausted as he was, "Virgil is going to very vocally wonder where I am if I'm not in bed, and you know how early he wakes up." Taking a blanket and draping it over Lucca, he tucked him in. With a soft, resigned sigh he curled up deeper under the blanket, falling quickly back to a deeper sleep. Standing up and collecting his things, he paused to watch the sleeping man for another few quiet minutes, smiling subtly. "Sleep well," he added, then quietly left, returning to his original room where Virgil and Cress lay sleeping.
Category:Advent of the All