2014.05.01 - Imperious Team Up Smash!

The Queens borough attracts all sorts of types. Tonight, it's the Crazy Quilt (yes you read that right). His latest thieving spree has been the collection of very recognizable, and extraordinarily heavy statues. Tonight's target is the controversial Civic Virtue, which depicts a tall muscular man with two writing women representing vice and corruption.
Enough of the history lesson, where are our Heroes?
Jennifer Walters was walking off dinner with Namor, whom she invited out to a restaurant near Queens Borough Hall after a particularly grueling day at court. She wasn't Hulked up just yet, but she could still pack a punch.
Just on scene is the Crazy Quilt, dressed in a garishly colored patchwork outfit with an over-sized helmet speaking to his also terribly dressed goons as they settled on the last stages of the plan.
Namor smirked at Jennifer, especially considering how many people were stopping to take pictures of the small mousy girl who was walking arm and arm with NAMOR OF ATLANTIS! "You know it still does surprise me when you take this form. Wouldn't it make more sense for you to just be the She-Hulk all the time."
He smiled softly, "Not that I don't like this form as well, it just is a little odd to me."
Of the two, it seems, it's the Red She-Hulk who remains in her gamma irradiated form at all times. She has no desire to be small and mousey again. None whatsoever. She has not returned to Lex Luthor despite being given a new identity, a name, money, a place to stay. She owes Lex a lot at this point. Part of not returning has been because she's trying to work out how to repay him.
Unlke the duo on the streets, Red is instead leaping from rooftop to rooftop. One thing about staying Hulked up? She craves excitement. She needs something to occupy her time, and reading just won't do it. That's why she peers over the edge of buildings periodically, looking for something exciting.
Jennifer shrugged a bit, and shot a photographer a particularly rude look when he stepped on her foot to get a shot of Namor, "I've got a date rule. If a guy is brave enough to survive up to date numbero tres they get the Jen treatment. It's ridiculous, I know but it helps weed out some of the jerks who like them big and green...this city has a lot of them."
The bored femme red Hulk might then catch a series of construction workers piling out of a small shady-looking van to put a large tarp around the statue and start blocking off the sidewalk's access to the area. Anyone attempting to approach the spot would be told rudely to walk around the building or into the street.
On the other side of the van, Crazy Quilt sneaks out of the vehicle.
Namor chuckled a little, "Well then I hope I am passing the Jen test. Because I what particularly not want to stop seeing you."
His eyes then noticed what was going on a ways before him, "Well that is just unfortunate."
Looking back to Jennifer he said, "I am beginning to think that our 'dates' are cursed. First Absorbing Man and Titania, then Radiation Man, now I think we might be walking towards a crime in process."
Namor reaches into a pocket on his vest and removes a small ear piece, "This is the Sub-Mariner of the Infinite. Requesting police and emergency vehicles to Queens. Triangulate form my communicator. No, no one is hurt yet, but they probably will be by the time you are here."
Oh yeah, that looks delightfully suspicious, doesn't it? Unaware of the presence of Namor and her green counterpart, Red She-Hulk looks from the top of the building, coming down just off to the side of the workers as they're in the middle of blocking off access. She looks enough like Jen when Hulked Up - except Red of course - that she fully expects her identity to be mistaken. It's only happened nearly every time she's intervened.
"Hello boys. Behaving yourselves?" Red smiles sweetly. Well, as sweetly as she can. It sounds a little flirtatious, at least. Her expression isn't /quite/ the same, what with the glowing yellow eyes.
Jennifer raised her arms into the air and rolled her eyes, "Really? Really! C'mon a Hulk can barely pop into the store without running into some crime! Well I'm not letting these punks ruin another suit."
She whipped open her briefcase, and tossed in her blazer, skirt, and transformed into the green glamazon in her unmentionables. What, she doesn't feel like wearing her super suit underneath /all/ of her clothing!
She spotted her red counterpart nearby, "Oh hey girl! Down for a team up? Oh man these guys are screwed."
"Oh crap I'm screwed." Said the Crazy Quilt, he spoke into his own earpiece, "Fire at the super freaks. I /will/ have this statue!"
Oh poor Crazy Quilt, he had only noticed the She-Hulks... and honestly that was probably bad enough. It's even worse the fact that Namor, the Sub-Mariner was here too.
He flew up in the air as he watched the bra and panty clad She-Hulk go into action. Ah how he loved the modern world so. And just when the minions were getting ready to attack the two She-Hulks, Namor swooped down and landed... right onto the engine block of the truck, crushing it completely as he said, "Imperious Rex!"
He looked at the two She-Hulks just now truly noticing the Red One and said, "Zounds! There are two of you? I would tell you what was going through my mind right now, but it isn't really fit for the ears of such lovely women."
Red She-Hulk already has two of the men in hand when she hears two voices. One of them familiar, the other not. "That you, Green?" she spins in the men above her head and tosses them unceremoniously to the side. The other voice, closer now, attracts Red's gaze - and she makes no show about looking Namor up and down. She's shameless. "This your boyfriend? Gotta say, I like your taste in men." Flattery will get Namor everywhere, and Red grins wide at his words. "Uh-huh. Promises, promises."
But there's crime to fight, and Red forces herself to look away from the Atlantean, hands latching onto another man that tried to run. "Too slow, pal."
She-Hulk gave her fellow glamazon a wave as the crowd of civilians began to ran away. Two Hulks and the Sub-Mariner? People were /booking/ it. Which sadly is what Crazy Quilt should be going. "Just dating! But he's damn cute. Oh I should be focusing on heroing."
She knocked two of the goons heads together. Curse words were yelled as Namor destroyed the truck, and a quiet order was made to his men. Crazy Quilt activated his helmet, shining a large light that was blinding and only moments before his men turned on their protective goggles.
She-Hulk covered her eyes and yelled out, "Okay, now this guy is just being /annoying!"
Namor wasn't used to being talked about like he was a piece of meat. Not that he disliked it at all, he just wasn't used to being in the room when women discussed how perfectly handsome and chiseled he was.
The the shinning light hit his eyes and he cried out in pain for a moment. Namor's eyes were adapted for underwater and seeing in the deepest depths. Sudden flashes of bright lights were not good for them. He'd be fine in a moment, and until then he could direct himself by sound, his ears were better than most humans as well.
His only regret is that he could not see the two beautiful battle vixens he was with do their work until then, "After we vanquish these idiots we can go back to discussing if I keep my promises or not."
Namor lunged forward, smashing through one of the minions who was unfortunate enough to be in his way and headed right for the loud whining noise of a flash being recharge. He moved incredibly fast, floating through the air beautifully and said, "Base villain. Cowardly attacks using simple parlor tricks will not avail you when you face the Avenging Son of Atlantis!"
His eyes closed he reached out for Crazy Quilt, as he did so his entire body seemed to charge with electricity, his intention to grab the crazy man and fry the electronics of his device.
"Goddammit!" Bright light. SUCKS. Red covers her eyes too. She doesn't grope about, though. She just peers through her fingers and turns slightly to determine where the light is coming from. When that is determined, well... what she does next is kind of gross. She makes a noise and her tongue moves a bit, building the saliva in her mouth, and then she spits at the source of light.
...did we mention her saliva is highly corrosive?
She-Hulk called out to add, "And the femme Hulks. Don't piss us off either! We get very, /angry/!"
She-Hulk yanked off the tarp of the statute and tossed it onto a group of the leftover groons and literally jumped on top of it, belly flop style. Anyone underneath needs to lay down for a long while. She-Hulk isn't exactly tiny.
But what for the man of Quilts that are in fact Crazy? Not doing so hot either. He yanked off his helmet, getting a bit of the acid on his face. The man screamed as he stepped back, being approached by the electric Namor, "No. Please I wanted to make art! A grand statue for all to love!"
Namor's eye sight was rather blurry right now but he did see the acid and the surrendering man. However he touches the Helmet anyways and grits his teeth as electricity flows out of him and into it, frying every capacitor in it, "People who want to make art don't go around blinding people. It's considered... rude."
Namor then inhaled deeply, the electricity he stored was a lot of his energy and it tended to weaken him rather well. He was still stronger than any human being and tougher too. But right now he was rather worn down. Water would solve the problem later. Perhaps a shower.
There were sirens in the distance, most likely the local police directed by the BSA.
Red She-Hulk wants to punch the guy. Really, even the screaming is irritating. Even if it is her fault. Completely. She looks around, disappointment written on her face. "That it? Damn, is hiring goons just too expensive or something?" Such a disappointment.
There is a loud rumbling sound coming from underneath the statue, as it drops into the ground with a loud thud. A shrill, seemingly feminine giggle came from underneath, "Crazy Quilt you're so crazy! And an imbecile, YOU ARE NOT GETTING PAID THE SECOND HALF. LATER DORKS."
Underneath the ground a supped up subway car has been modified to look like a giant caterpillar is zooming away with the statue. Wait is the statue even worth that much? That subject is up for debate to White Rabbit. Well..one of the White Rabbit villains hoping about the city.
She-Hulk dropped her shoulders. "Really? Unbelieveable."
She reached into her briefcase for industrial grade handcuffs and put Crazy Quit in them, his hands behind his back. Don't ask why she had them on her, "Well Red, you just had to say something didn't you?"
Namor looked at the whole situation as it happened and had a look of utter shock on his face. It takes a moment before he says, "I swear in my day, we had a better class of supervillian."
With that he jumps into the whole and flies after the... caterpillar subway car, "A -much- better class of supervillian, he says to himself as he accelerates to catch up with the train."
"...you have got to be kidding me." She pauses only to offer She-Hulk a hand up. "Come on. Can't let your boyfriend have all the fun himself." Red just grins at Jen after those words, then nods to the hole. "Let's go!" before she jumps down herself.
"Dating! He's on date three! Three-wooooo!" With She-Hulk arm hooked on Red's shoulder they both come jumping down into the hole. Gah this was going to be a lot of paperwork later.
The White Rabbit however checked into her video screens and saw the Spandex-clad Superhero types behind her. This rabbit in particular wore the ears and bunny makeup, but her arms are covered in Alice in Wonderland tattoos.
She launched one intercrossing laser grid as she increased the speed of the train over 100 miles per hour.
Namor saw the Laser grid and the increasing speed of the train and came to a new conclusion, the lovely ladies might not be as fast as he can fly. He swung around in an instant and flew back to the two She-Hulks and said, "Let's go a little faster shall we?"
And with that scooped one She-Hulk per arm held them to his body and shot like a freaking missile towards the lasers, "Should be easy enough to sneak through and even if not. I don't think any of us have anything to fear from such a feeble weapon."
Namor increased speed heading near 200 miles per hour, in a moment both She-Hulks will be in range to jump to the Train and take of things from there.
Red She-Hulk doesn't object at all when Namor scoops her up. Given how she was blatantly ogling him earlier, this should be no surprise. "A laser grid?" Hunh. "Well, that's better than what I was expecting." Which was a trail of banana peels. Or something equally silly. "Do you ever run into anyone ... challenging?" Because the last time she and Jen teamed up, it involved punching a guy repeatedly in the head. The fight was over /very/ quickly.
She-Hulk would let out a loud "Woo!" as the launched through the air like a freaking missle. Good thing her hair somehow stayed perfectly styled at all times. Just a benefit of being a femme Hulk."Nope!"
She easily jumped through the grid and landed onto the back of the train, "Now to throw Momma From the Train! Wait that doesn't make sense. I should watch that movie again."
White Rabbit yelled out various obscenities as the heroes had quickly caught up with her. She grabbed a rather ominous oversized gun and went to power on the weapon, "Bunny's gotta take care of this herself. Who would have thought a guy like Crazy Quilt couldn't get the job done?"
They were currently in the back car, ten cars ahead was the caterpillar shaped lead. This one contained the statue. She-Hulk snuck down and gave the connector a good kick, mumbling to herself, "At least it wasn't Titania...again."
"Titania and Absorbing Man were difficult but not hard. Radiation Man was good against me but Jennifer destroyed him," Namor told the Red She-Hulk, "I faced the Fearsome Four with the Infinite. But often, yes. We seem to only get the castaways. And they always come right after we finish dinner. It's getting vexing"
Namor himself landed on the roof of the train. He was sweating a bit, the electricity thing had taken a big bite out of his endurance, "I suggest we finish this off quickly and go for a swim. It's hot in these damned tunnels."
"Petty theft has been my regular run-in crowd lately," Red snorts. "This nonsense is number five this week." At least this is a little more unusual than the usual fare she finds herself dealing with. "Never seen Titania or Absorbing Man," she admits.
She-Hulk's head pops out from behind the car, "Don't! That skank awful. Little obsessed with meso you might get the treatment. Sorry in advance!"
As all of the muscled up babes were making their way to the front, White Rabbit popped up from the compartment with an oversized gun of some kind, with an Alice in Wonderland sticker on the side. She couldn't think of a good Alice motif for this one. Rabbit stroked at her gun, "You took my statue, which was gonna look /great/ in my lawn you jerks. But that's okay, I ordered tonights meal in /extra crispy/!"
With that she turned on her supped-up flame thrower which gained more distance than your average (but still deadly) one, and fired towards the approaching trio, "You all look tasty anywho!"
Namor smirks for a second, "I recall you calling each other skank a lot that day. Ah memories."
And then the flame thrower came. In reality the flames couldn't hurt Namor. He was thoroughly invulnerable and that wasn't effected by his hydration. What would get effected as he charged forward into the flames to act as a sort of human shield for the two She-Hulks: is his endurance, get too dehydrated and he'd pass out from it all.
"I've got her attention, you too take her down," he shouted behind him.
As the flames burned on Namor's body something else wasn't as invulnerable as the rest of him, the blue vest and pants that he was wearing started to burn too, soon he was going to be rather exposed if he held out too much longer.
Red She-Hulk lands on one side of the Rabbit's subway car-thing, apparently unseen. Namor's attention grabbing seems to work. "Well, let's see...." She just punches into the subway car. "Anything look important in here?" Eventually she'll hit something important, right?
"Yeah but this playboy reject is a bit of a skank herself." She-Hulk took the much less subtle route. While the Red Hulkette was taking down the wheels, She-Hulk was going to go after the woman. Shulkie was about to jump over Namor and curb stomp the floozie when....
Wait is that the transformers noise? Inside of the train car, one of the buttons became activated and transformed the front train car into, a mech rabbit! White Rabbit dropped her flame thrower in the nonsense, and slid into the cockpit, "Thanks for the assist, Red Queen!"
As for the dubbed Red Queen, she's inside of one of the compartments in the mech! She-Hulk landed on the ground and yelled out, "Oh come /on/ really?"
Namor, now in barely any clothes thanks to the flames, though for a man who often runs around in just a set of briefs that isn't a big deal, gets back up to his feet as the flames die down, "I have to admit.... this one... a rather annoying one."
He then falls down to one knee for a moment and pulls himself back up, "Let's finish this so I can get out of this cursed hot box."
He charged forward slowly but not weakly and interlocked his fingers and hits one of the legs of the damned Mecha-Bunny with all the strength he can still muster up.
"How can someone this dim afford these things?" Red leapt to the next car. And then the next, desperately trying to play catch up as the mecha rabbit reveals itself. She punches into the car and grabs the first big heavy thing she can find, before throwing it over at the mech.
The White Rabbit's voice could be heard through a loud speaker, "I'm not dim! I made all of this, from scratch. ThankYouVeryMuch. Geez. I hope you ladies don't call yourselves feminists."
The bunny gets hit twice, once in one of the arms and in the leg. It topples over backwards as She-Hulk rips open the head of the mechanical creature and yanks out White Rabbit, "In jail, look up the term 'feminist' okay?"
And a good punch to the gut and the girl is out. She hoists her over the shoulder and drops down to look at her two companions, "You guys alright? Namor uhm...you okay? I'm holding back flirts in case you are dying."
Namor stands back up, he's not going to be viewed as weak to these two lovely ladies. Namor seems to have two types of women he likes: Blondes and Women with unsusal skin colors. It's rare he gets to meet the second type, "I'm fine. Just dehydrated. Surprisingly enough, villains rarely think to use fire. Even though my battles with the Original Human Torch are well documented."
He does stager a little for a second and looked at Jennifer, "And don't stop the flirting on my account. I'd be a sad day indeed if I can't be flirted with by such beautiful ladies."
Red She-Hulk manages not to facepalm at the Rabbit's words. "And they wonder when I have the habit of punching everyone into silence. Because they say stupid things like that." Everything might be stopped, but Red still reflexively goes through whatever is left. Just in case. You never know what's stashed about in various places.
"You keep talking like that and you'll have the both of us to deal with," she comments idly to Namor. "Assuming Green shares. Have not a clue."
Speaking of oddly colored women, She-Hulks cheek blush very lightly, "Wow direct."
She contemplates quickly to herself. Shulkie /was/ going to show him what the handcuffs were for and she hadn't done anything completely reckless in a while. Plus she was cute and oh so familliar. Screw it you only live once!
She patted the villain's butt, and grinned, "Why the hell not. Just need to take out the trash first and I know a celebrity whose pool should be free tonight. Let's go skinny dipping folks!"
Namor smiled weakly and picked a piece of burned blue scaled fabric off his chest, "If I did not feel I was up to such a task, Red. I wouldn't have made the suggestion."
Of course he was quite certain that Jennifer wouldn't be...Okay never mind, that was an unexpected advantage to all this, "Well then it sounds like we have quite the night planned for ourselves. How gratuitous of you lovely women to show my gratitude to the both of you for your aid when I have been at my weakest in years."
Namor quickly confirmed with his comm piece that the police had arrived to their location and said, "We can drop off the Lewis Carrol reject with the police. After that... while I'm weak, I'm sure I can still carry the two of you this pool Jennifer is talking about."
Surprise of surprises. Red flashes her almost-twin a pleased grin. "I knew I liked you, Green." She nods in agreement with the gameplan. "Yeah, sounds good to me. I've got no plans." She does grin again; oh this evening turned out to be much more interesting than she had worried it would become. "Lead the way."
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