Gumba

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Gumba is a small feline, determined to be around the age of 8 months (not confirmed) that is sitting on top of an iPhone. While it is unknown exactly how long they have been sitting on the phone, they were initially discovered in late May 2021, inside of a house in Louisiana, United Flops. 
== Rise in Popularity ==
The origin of Gumba can be attributed to a single point, that being a Twitter post by famous youtuber "LinusFlopTips", on August 8th, 2021. The tweet read: "visiting louisiana for family, and look who we found! they call him gumba! #gumba", with an attached photo of Gumba. This tweet didn't receive much attention initially, getting around 8k likes in it's first few weeks. However, the image Linus took would spread far, being used in a few memes.
The beginning of Gumba's popularity started with a single meme. It was posted to the meme app iFunny by user "LinusFlopTipsFanpage", on September 30th, 2021, with the caption "sittin on da fone!! #gumba". This post exploded in popularity, gaining 59k likes and getting put on the "featured" section of the website a day later. After this, the meme, which shall be referred to as "sittin on da fone Gumba", spread to other websites, notably Flopper and Flopddit. People created the meme in droves, creating various offshoots of Gumba, including editing what Gumba was sitting on. 
== The Gumba Raids ==
On November 19th, 2021, a now suspended Twitter user tweeted that they had found the location of Gumba, and provided information in a thread. This post was deleted after a week, but in the time that it was up it had massive popularity, with the post reportedly gaining 20k likes. This marked the beginning of the great droves of people going to visit Gumba.
The first report of a break in on the Gumba household took place one day after the tweet, on November 20th, 2021. The mother of the family woke up to discover a man standing in the living room, staring at Gumba. She shouted at him to leave the house, and the man reportedly responded with just saying Gumba. She yelled more, but the man didn't budge, so she called the cops. While the cops were arriving, two more people arrived, this time a couple, who immediately walked over to stare at Gumba along with the man. The police arrived and the three people were removed from the household.
This event was reported on the news, and so most people backed out of visiting Gumba for now. A few Louisiana natives came to visit over the course of the next week, but by this point the police were protecting the house around the clock.
=== The First Raid ===
A week after the initial failed attempt, a Twitter account named GumbaGang, focused on posting various Gumba memes, made a post rallying for people to all visit Gumba at the same time, similar to the Area 51 event of 2019, going in with the mindset of "they can't stop all of us". They had planned a date, December 3rd, 2021. At 9AM, after the family had left the house for work and school, thousands of Gumba fans flooded into the house, all to take a look at Gumba. The mother, once again, was the first to discover this, when she returned home at 12:30PM on lunch break. However, at this point she could not do anything.
Police attempted to stop the crowd, but were quickly overpowered by Gumba fans. The entire police force of the town was reported to have died. An additional 51 Gumba fans were killed during the raid. 28 were shot down by police, 12 were murdered by other Gumba fans while trying to get a closer look at Gumba, 10 were killed by being trampled over by other Gumba fans, and one is still missing to this day.
After the first Gumba raid, people still continued to visit Gumba, with thousands coming every day. After a few days of this, the family gave up their house to the people, and told the police to back down. At this point, the Gumba fans were not only ruining once house, but the entire neighborhood. The streets were filled with Gumba fans waiting to get into the house. Many people moved out over the next few months, with the neighborhood becoming unlivable. Gumba fans began to buy these houses at an inflated price, just so they could visit Gumba more often.
The town itself actually supported Gumba, as it brought it never before seen amounts of revenue for the town. A reported 1 million dollars was made from the first month of Gumba fans. Shops in the town started to theme themselves around Gumba, selling Gumba merchandise and special Gumba food. One man even opened a restaurant all around Gumba, named Grub Gumb, which now has 168 international locations.
== Gumbism ==
After months of nonstop visits on the house, people began to view Gumba different, and visited for different reason. They weren't just here to look at a funny meme cat, what they had started to grow deeper, into a dependence on Gumba. This shift in feelings caused the rise of Gumbism. It is currently unknown where exactly it started, as there isn't just one point of origin when it comes to Gumbism, it was moreso a feeling that grew inside people after visiting Gumba multiple times, and so multiple people at the same time wanted to form a religion. These people were able to all join together under one new religion, Gumbism.
Gumbism followers, also called Gumbish, don't believe in a God, their beliefs are actually pretty inline with Atheism. The main component of Gumbism is, of course, Gumba themselves. Gumba is seen as more of a beacon of hope in an otherwise cruel and unforgiving world, rather than a God figure. Gumbish believe that Gumba has a sort of natural happy aura around them, one that affects people who get near it. Every single person who has visited Gumba has reported feeling better about themselves and the world.
To Gumbish, the world was a dark, nastly place with little light before Gumba showed up. Gumba didn't care what the world thought, they just wanted to sit on their iPhone in peace. Gumbish believe that this refusal to accept the world as is caused Gumba to gain his happiness aura. Gumbish state that if one is able to refuse the negatives of the world and do as they please, they can also send happiness to all those around them.
== Gumba Pilgrimages and the Future of Gumba ==
After the rise of Gumbism, trips to Gumba became more popular and more widespread. Nearly 10 thousand people showed up every day to visit Gumba. At this point, the neighborhood was rendered useless and unusable, as the amount of people visiting Gumba everyday made it unlivable. 
The Gumba Estate, made up of family members that originally had Gumba, had made plans for a large scale renovation of the surrounding area. The house Gumba stayed in would remain their and completely unchanged, however all the buildings would be demolished to create Gumbaland, a theme park all around Gumba. The main attraction, of course, being Gumba. However, this received major backlash from Gumbish and Gumba fans, stating that this took away their free right to visit Gumba. It would be like paying people to visit the Kaaba. 
To avoid angering their devout followers, the Gumba Estate cancelled their plans, and made something new. They couldn't make viewing platforms like the Kaaba, since the house had to stay there. So, they decided to install cameras inside, where people could view Gumba if they couldn't make it into the house itself. People were a bit disappointed by this, as seeing Gumba on a camera does not produce the same happiness affect as being near him, but eventually they accepted it as it was really the only option. 
The Gumba Estate still liked the theme park idea, and so thee decided to continue with construction of Gumbaland on the other side of the town, with Grub Gumb as both a sponsor and the main source of food in the park. The park was planned to have 6 Gumba themed rides initially, growing into something larger overtime, akin to Disneyland.
Before starting construction, the Gumba estate still had to clear out the houses surrounding the Gumba house. Using their political influence, they got the UF government to send missile strikes on the homes, blowing up each one. A reported 90 people died from this demolishment.
Construction started, and after 6 months the Gumba renovation was finally complete. The renovation brought in thousands of new people, and was a large success. The people were overall satisfied with the new renovations.
== Gumba Now ==
Gumba to this day is still a very popular feline and a huge tourist spot. People come from all across the globe to see a small cat on a phone in the middle of Louisiana. No incidents or bad things have happened since the finishing of the renovation. Gumbaland ended up getting built and is still expanding. Grub Gumb is growing larger and larger, with more and more stores opening every month. Gumbism is still strong, and is spreading much farther than the US, and in the US is starting to rival Christianity. The future is bright for Gumba fans and Gumbish alike.
== Before the Fame ==
Before the explosion in meme popularity and religious gatherings, Gumba stayed relatively unpopular for a long time, simply sitting on their phone in a nice house in Louisiana. 
The Gumba Estate, who is still relatively mysterious today, released a press release after the rise in popularity of Gumba, stating "Ever since Gumba arrived, we took care of him. We let him sit on a nice table with his phone". In this same press release, the estate states that they never touched the phone throughout the early days of Gumba's existence letting them "live his own life". 
=== Gumba Estate Interview ===
Recently, the church of Gumba was able to get into contact with one of the people in the estate for an interview on Gumba. When asked on why they called Gumba a him, they responded "We just have the feeling. It takes the guts of a man to sit on a phone all day, you know? If it were a female, it would probably have better things to do as well, like raising little Gumblets (chuckle)". When asked on when Gumba first appeared, there was a slight silence from the interviewee, before responding "Honestly, I'm not to sure. When I first laid eyes upon Gumba, I felt like he had always been there, like he was apart of the family for generations". The interviewee then looked down at his feet for a moment, moving them around, as if feeling nervous, before smiling and saying "I guess you could call him a heirloom of sorts, despite the fact that I don't even recall if he's always been there".
== Assassination Attempt ==
On September 30th, 2022, exactly one year after the initial sittin on da fone Gumba post, a man by the name of Rick Kozlov entered the Gumba house with a plan to kill Gumba, and hopefully steal the phone. He brought nothing but a pistol and a cyanide pill with him. 
Kozlov entered the house, and sneakily took out his gun. Right as he fired however, a little kid bumped into him, causing him to miss. The bullet ricocheted across the room, bouncing from wall to wall, before hitting Kozlov in the shoulder. He screamed in pain and fell over, dropping the pistol at the kid's feet. The crowd blamed the kid for firing the gun, and proceeded to beat him to death, chanting "SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE!" as they kicked him. 
Kozlov, realizing that he fucked up, reached for the cyanide pill, however he couldn't find it in his pocket. He assumed it fell out, so he looked around on the floor for it. He eventually found a pill that looked like it, but it was a bit bigger. He grabbed it and shoved it in his mouth. However, this was not his cyanide pill, but rather a laxative that another visitor had dropped. Kozlov very quickly shat his pants in the middle of the room, and fell to the floor crying. People saw this and thought he was trying to shit on Gumba, and so they proceeded to beat him up too. The beating caused poop to fly across the room, covering the surrounding floors and walls in his feces. Just with the kid, the beating he had suffered took his life, and he died with the poop still in his pants. 
After this, visitors were kicked out of the house for cleanup. The mixture of blood, guts, and fecal matter caused half of the cleanup crew to have to quit midway through. One of the cleanup crew members died after slipping on some of the shit and impaling his head on a loose nail. This event would go down as one of the worst days in Gumba history.
Category:Religion
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