Bart Gets Famous/Quotes

:(Bart enters the kitchen whistling the Simpsons theme.)
:Marge: Bart, I asked you not to whistle that annoying tune!
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:Bart: Hey, that's my lucky red hat sittin' on top of a double-corrugated, eight-fold, one 4-gauge box. 
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:Tour Guide: The story of how two brothers and five other men parlayed a small business loan into a thriving paper goods concern is a long and interesting one. And here it is. It all began with the fling of Form 63 7 / A - the application for a small business or farm. Many interesting and important things have been put into boxes over the years. Textiles, other boxes, even children's candy.
:Milhouse: Do any of these boxes have candy in 'em?
:Tour Guide: No.
:Milhouse: Will they ever?
:Tour Guide: No. We only make boxes to ship nails. Any other questions?
:Martin: When will we be able to see a finished box, sir?
:Tour Guide: Oh, we don't assemble them here. That's done in Flint, Michigan.
:Bart: Any of your workers had their hands cut off by machinery?
:Tour Guide: No.
:Bart: And then the hand started crawling around and tried to strangle everybody?
:Tour Guide: No, that has never happened.
:Bart: Any popped eyeballs?
:Tour Guide: I'm not sure what kind of factory you're thinking of. We just make boxes here.
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:Tour Guide: This room is the most popular part of our tour.
:Milhouse: It's just like the other rooms.
:Tour Guide: Yes, but with one important difference... Oh, we took that out. Yes, it is just like the other rooms.
:Milhouse: What's that building over there?
:Tour Guide: That's just a TV studio where they film Krusty the Clown and other non-box-related programs. Since it has nothing to do with boxes, I'll just shut these blinds.
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:Lisa: And now you can go back to being you instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catch phrase.
:Homer: (smashes a lamp) D'oh!
:Bart: ¡Ay, caramba!
:Marge: Hmm...
:Maggie sucks on her pacifier.
:Flanders: Hidely-ho!
:Barney belches.
:Nelson: Ha Ha!
:Mr. Burns: Excellent...!
:Everyone stares at Lisa.
:Lisa: ...if anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.
:Silence after she has left.
:Homer: What kind of a catchphrase is that?
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:Lisa: I've got a weekend job helping the poor, and I'm only eight.
:Homer: That's not a job, it's a waste of time. What can poor people pay you? Nothing! What satisfaction do you get from helping them? None! Who wants to help poor people anyway? Nobody!
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:Bart: Here's a Danish, Krusty.
:Krusty: Gimme, gimme, gimme! [Eating] Now, that's a Danish. Where'd you get it?
:Bart: I stole it from Kent Brockman.
:Krusty: Great! Uh, he didn't touch it, did he?
:Bart: No.
:Krusty: Good job, kid. What's your name?
:Bart: I'm Bart Simpson! I saved you from jail!
:Krusty: Oh, I-
:Bart: I reunited you with your estranged father!
:Krusty: Uh, I don't, uh-
:Bart: I saved your career, man! Remember your comeback special?
:Krusty: Yeah, well, what have you done for me lately?
:Bart: I got you that Danish.
:Krusty: And I'll never forget it!
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:(Kent Brockman is reviewing his notes for the upcoming evening news, with a danish on his desk)
:Kent: "Tragic news tonight: 120 dead in a tidal wave in Kuala Lala... pir... Kuala Lum... per..." (crosses "Kuala Lumpur" out) "France"!
:Bart: (runs up to the desk and steals the danish) Yoink!
:Kent: (surprised) Yoink?
:(looks at the desk to see the danish missing; gasps in horror)
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:Kent: Yeah, I know I'm on. But I don't care. I don't read the news until I get my danish. Go ahead, try to find a replacement.
:Kent is shoved out of his chair by Bumblebee Man, who grabs the notes. Bumblebee Man speaks in his English normal voice, which is sonorous and fits rather well for newscasting.
:Bumblebee Man: {normal voice} A powerful tidal wave in Kuala Lumpur has killed one hundred and twenty people.
:Bumblebee Man: {Bumblebee Man voice} Ay, chihuahua! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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:Homer: (grabbing Principal Skinner by his collar) What do you mean you lost him? He might have fallen into one of these machines! (notices Bart's lucky red hat on top of one of the boxes) Oh my God, that's his lucky red hat! HE'S A BOX! (drops down to his knees) MY BOY IS A BOX! DAMN YOU, A BOX!!!
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:Bart: I'm telling you, I do work on the Krusty show. Look at the credits! (presses "play")
:Krusty: Bye-bye, kids! (he laughs and credits roll)
:Kent: I'm Kent Brockman. On the eleven o'clock news tonight, a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal. We won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with Funny Sonny Storm.
:Bart: (pointing to his name on the TV) There's my name, right there. Bart Simpson.
:Milhouse: Looks more like Brad Storch.
:Martin: No! It says Betty. Betty Symington.
:Nelson: (punching Bart in the stomach) That's for taking credit for other people's work! (Nelson, Milhouse and Martin leave the Simpson residence)
:Bart: Awww...
:Homer: It's okay, son. Who cares what a bunch of fourth graders think? You're doing what you want to do with your life. Nothing else matters.
:Bart: Thanks, Dad. That's great advice.
:Homer: Yep! Well, that's what got me where I am today.
:Bart: (dejected again) Awww...
:Homer: There, there.