Perpetual Doom: Being the First Installment in the MMOS KOTOS Series

== The Knights of Olde Speech — Book One — Perpetual Doom ==
@12-06-2012 04:20 PM, Sir Thingguy the 2nd wrote:
=== Foreword — How we began ===
On the Fourth of March, 2012, a certain LEGO Account User titled Thingguy2 made a post including the words:
“Talmid!! Thou art an Artisan!” The next day, it was approved by the moderators of the LEGO Forum and another LEGO Account User titled Lukey3449 (we call him Lukas) made a comment on the fact that he loves (quote) “old-timey talk,” and how it would be epic if we were to make all our posts in (again, quote) “old-timey talk.” So the LEGO User Talmid banded us together and named us “The Knights of Old Speech.” For a short while, we only talked in Old English. Then we became a bit more lax and talked regular as well.
Anyway, our strong defense of Grammar and Friendship was soon noticed by Legoboy0829 and Seton1234 (may he rest in peace), and they quickly joined our band. We have been joined by many others, including Samlooploop (Lady Jonna), EthanWS (Sir Sharp), Dragon8328 (Sir Dragon), Lewbob7785 (Sir Spark), JohnNC (Sir John Nicolas Cataclysm), Firelash02 (Sir Loin of Beef), RangerHalt79 (Ranger Halt), Ninjago_Builders (who needs a catchy nickname), and others who I’ve either forgotten, or can’t remember the numbers in their names. We soon became more orderly and Sir Lukas created our own little chat room. We made ranks, positions, and even formed a secret base, a base so secret that only four knights have found it so far. Although it was discovered by a non-knight, but we can trust him.
Now, onto the story.
Someone (I can’t remember who, but I think it was me) suggested that someone write a story about the adventures of the Knights of Olde Speech. Everyone agreed. But no one did write it. Then someone else (I think it was Talmid) said that the same creative geniuses that came up with the Rhoddwr Marwolaeth should write it. We all liked that. But then Legoboy0829 began pestering the tomatoes out of us to write it already, but both Talmid and I were previously engaged with matters elsewhere. In the long period of time it took for both Talmid and I to be ready at the same time, I came up with the idea that we make it an MMOS (Massively Multi-Writer Online Story). This allowed for everyone to start pitching in ideas and bios to stall until August, which is when everyone would be available. But then something unexpected (yet very appreciated) happened and we are available now.
We are here.
We are ready.
We are united.
We are prepared.
Prepare for epicness.
Yours truly, Thingguy2: One of three Original Founders of the Knights of Olde Speech.
@ 12-06-2012 06:38 PM,  Sir Talmid wrote:
=== Prologue ===
The loud exclamations of boos and jeers from the crowd of onlooking Sentinels was deafening, with smaller groups of hushed Ventures and Assemblies conversing quietly on the situation.
The situation was frequent, and happened regularly, but can't be called normal. The result of a faction war, a group of Paradox Space Marauders, Shinobis, and Sorcerers trudged through the dense masses of Knights, Samurais, and Space Rangers that blocked their way, towards a large, dark gray colored transport vessel, bearing an old, scratched Nexus Force logo clumsily painted on the side.
Sentinel Guards stood by the boarding ramp, and ushered the brigade of Paradox into the starship, which would take them to the prison world of Farpoint, where the defendant Paradox would stand trial and subsequent jail time for their crimes.
Attempted murder of the faction leaders and destruction of the Nexus Force. Through a faction war.
This was only a small part of Paradox, with the rest of the faction under fire from the other factions. The actions of few often severely impacted the many. This was no exception.
The leader of the rebel group of Paradox was known simply as 'thedude', an evil mastermind bent on causing destruction through degrammarization. Together with his sidekick Barney the Dinosaur, they nearly decimated Nexus Tower, but were stopped.
And now those two evil beings were the last to board the transport craft. Turning to his ally in evil, thedude whispered in the T-Rex's non-existent ears, "uporaishon renegad staig too bigens naoow"
The bumbling form of a Kids TV Show Star nodded and giggled maniacally. "Hoo hoo hoo, oh boy oh boy! This will be fun! There are lots of things, you can-"
"shut op" thedude snapped, socking Barney in the jaw.
Being a giant piece of fabric, it didn't hurt Barney, but it prompted him to say one of his famous lines. "We should all be friends."
thedude gritted his teeth to keep from screaming out exaggerated curses at Barney, and silently entered the starship as the Sentinel Guards closed the door-ramp.
The prisoner transport took off away from Nimbus Station, and then uporaishon renegad staig too began.
...
@ 12-06-2012 10:04 PM, Sir Thingguy the 2nd wrote:
=== Chapter One — Strange Message Via Message Pigeon ===
King Matthias sat in anguish in his throne. A month earlier, a strange ship known as the SS Botany Bay had landed in his kingdom and an army of red and black warriors had stepped out. They carried strange, futuristic weapons that smashed his knights with ease and broke through all his outer defenses. His kingdom was in turmoil.
And, to make matters worse, King Matthias feared that these rogues had abducted his daughter, the spunky and independent Lady Jonna. She had gone missing two days prior and he had received no sign of her. He had developed an obsessive and overwhelming hatred for these renegades and had consulted his historian about their identity.
“Excuse me, but do you know any crooked organizations that specialize in terrorizing and kidnapping?” asked King Matthias.
“Did you look in the yellow pages?” asked the historian.
“Um… no,” said the King.
“Then don’t bother me, I’m busy pouring over textbooks, doing nothing but dusting and looking busy and getting paid for it,” said the historian.
King Matthias, being a gentle guy at heart, and not one to execute people because of their manners, let the matter drop. He left the historian’s chamber and went to his librarian, looking for the most recent yellow pages.
“Excuse me, but do you have the latest edition of the yellow pages?” asked King Matthias.
“Certainly,” said the Librarian, “that’ll be £12.”
“What?” asked Matthias in disbelief, “but this is a library!”
“And I’m the Royal Librarian,” said the Librarian, “now don’t bother me, I’m busy pouring over textbooks, doing nothing but dusting and looking busy and getting paid for it.”
Feeling as though he had just been through the same experience twice, the King left the library and headed for his room. He climbed the tedious steps (getting an elevator was too far above his budget) and opened the door to his bedchamber. He reached into the drawer next to his bed and pulled out his own phone book. He flipped to the Yellow Pages and scrolled through the “evil” section. There! An ad for “Evil Paradox Rouges That Like Pie.”
“That’s them,” Matthias muttered to himself, “I recognize that picture.”
Realizing that he would also need some more hands, such as mercenaries, he flipped to the “Knights for rent” section. He came across a relatively cheap organization called “KOTOS,” or “The Knights of Olde Speech.” Matthias looked down at the ad.
PLEASE HIRE US!!!!
PLEASE!
Please?
Pretty please? 
55 Unemployed rd., Nimbus Station, LU, 12345
Interested, King Matthias sent a servant down to his Royal Message Pigeon dude.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sir Talmid sat at his desk, leaning heavily on his chair with his legs propped up on his desktop. He had received permission by the Nexus Force to open a small business in Nimbus Station that would hire out the Knights of Olde Speech to run Elite Errands and tasks for a price. So far, the only people that had hired them out was the Sentinel Faction, to repel a small group of Paradox that was too small for them to bother with. They had received a small payment and now were unemployed.
It was as Talmid was sitting at his desk that a curious blue pigeon with a note attached to his leg flew through his window and relieved itself on his desk. Talmid leapt up and quickly grabbed a paper towel, returning the desk to its original state of immaculate cleanliness.
Talmid set down the paper towel and turned to look at the message pigeon. It was your standard Message Pigeon; blue, plump, and had a message tied to his leg. Talmid reached down and unfastened the note and read it. His eyes moved across the parchment, getting wider with every word. He finished the message and ran into the back room, where his counterparts Thingguy and Lukas were doing their own constructive activities. Thingguy was sleeping with his horse, Deadbeat, and Lukas was knitting.
“C’mon, guys, rally up the other knights!” said Talmid, “We’ve been hired!”
“Great!” said Lukas, “but I don’t know where Legoboy and Seton are.”
Thingguy snored.
“They’re probably out in the yard,” said Talmid, “and we’ll need to acquire a transport of some kind.”
“Well who hired us?” asked Lukas, “but before you answer, we are on official business, right?”
“Yeah,” said Talmid.
“So shouldn't we talk in old-timey talk?” asked Lukas.
“Yeah,” Talmid sighed, “whilst out in the main chamber, a blue pigeon approached me and delivered a note from a certain King Matthias giving us the details of a certain mission in which we ward off Paradox Renegades.”
“Wait, how did a pigeon accomplish inter-planetary travel?” asked Lukas.
Talmid thought for a moment.
“Or inter-universal travel, for that matter,” said Talmid.
Thingguy snored.
“Well, I guess a vague job is better than no job,” said Lukas, “Count me in.”
“Then let’s go!” said Talmid.
“I’m busy,” mumbled Thingguy.
Three minutes later, four knights and a knight whose face was thoroughly soaked were in a Nexus Transport on their way to the world of Knight’s Kingdom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@ 13-06-2012 11:39 AM, Sir Firelash the 2nd wrote:
=== Chapter two — A chapter with no name. ===
The Nexus Force Transport landed in Knight’s Kingdom and the cargo bay doors slid apart. A ramp extended from under the doorway, and the five knights (and a horse) that were inside walked out into the sunlight, of which there was plenty.
“So this is Knight’s Kingdom?” asked Talmid.
“Yep,” said Sir Seton.
“That was a rhetorical question,” snapped Talmid, “but I've just always wanted to go here.”
“Then why haven’t you?” asked Lukas.
“Because I didn't know how to get here, that’s why,” said Talmid.
“I’m tired,” said Thingguy.
Deadbeat gave him a long look.
“Easy for you to say!” said Thingguy, “You've got four legs!”
“Do you think we could move this conversation to a place unknown? Like nowhere?”
“I suppose,” yawned Thingguy, “Arguing is too much work, anyway.”
The band of friends moved forward through the outlying villages of Knight’s Kingdom, and made good progress towards King Matthias’s castle. The band reached the drawbridge and called across for it to be dropped.
“And who might be requesting a top-security maneuver to be done without the king’s presence?” asked the Gatekeeper.
“We are!” called Thingguy, “now let us through, I’m getting hungry!”
“Thingguy! This is official; you have to talk in Olde Speech!” muttered Talmid.
“Sorry, but I need some sort of ID or special pass before I can let you through,” called the Gatekeeper.
“We were invited here by thy King, the King Matthias, to investigate the strange disappearance of his daughter, and to aid his forces in driving back the Paradox Rogues that are threatening to take over and defeat thee,” said Talmid.
“Could you say that again?” asked the Gatekeeper, “In English?”
“JUST LET US OVER!!!!” yelled Talmid.
The Drawbridge was lowered and the gate swung open. The Knights walked through the gate, and the gatekeeper slammed the doors shut behind them immediately after they were over.
“I thank thee, kind sir,” said Talmid, “Now if thou could be so kind as to escort us to the palace, I would be very appreciative.”
“Right,” said the Gatekeeper, “I can’t help you. Try the village translator. I don’t speak French.”
“We’re not speaking French!” said Sir Legoboy.
“Well I don’t speak Spanish, either!”
“What about Welsh?”
“NO!” screamed the Gatekeeper, “I DON’T SPEAK ANYTHING BUT ENGLISH!”
“Okay, okay,” said Talmid, “We get it, you can go now.”
“I won’t be going anywhere!” said the Gatekeeper, “It’s you who will be leaving! I work here!”
“Oh,” said Talmid, “Sorry, we’ll be off now.”
The knights left the gatekeeper and began walking around, hoping for some sign of the location of the castle. Then encountered none, and they soon ran out of patience.
“Excuse me,” Thingguy asked a passing villager, “Could thee give us directions to the palace?”
“Just follow the yellow-brick-road,” said the Villager, and he hurried off.
“The yellow-brick-road?” asked Lukas in amusement, “Hey, Thingguy, maybe they’ll have flying monkeys!”
“Really?” Thingguy asked in excitement, “LET’S GO!!!!”
The Knights raced after Thingguy, and after a long trek down a yellow road, came to the castle. Talmid walked up to the heavy wooden door and banged his fist on it several times.
“What?” asked the guard posted there, after three minutes of banging,
“We wish to see the King Matthias,” said Talmid.
“Why?” asked the guard. Talmid told him and he stroked his beard thoughtfully. “You could be pulling my leg, but he did tell me to watch out for you people, said you’d be coming any time now.”
“Good, now let us through,” said Talmid.
Not finding a reason to impede them any further, the guard stepped aside and allowed them to pass. They walked through the long, dark hallways and eventually came to a giant door with a sign that read: “Throne Room.” 
The knights opened the door and stepped into the massive chamber. Due to a shortage of time and imagination, I won’t describe the throne room, but leave someone else to do that.
“Thy majesty,” said Talmid, bowing, “We hath accepted thy summons and are ready to serve thee in thy struggles.”
“Good,” said King Matthias, “Now here are your instructions.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@ 14-06-2012 05:30 PM, Sir EthanWS wrote:
=== === Chapter 3 ===~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ===
"Thou art to conquer the Paradox Rogues, and bring back my tender daughter." King Matthias told them.
"Great, more vague instructions." Sir Seton muttered.
Sir Legoboy elbowed Seton in the ribs while Sir Talmid spoke.
"Oh, great King, for sooth, how might we go about these deeds?" Talmid inquired.
"Well, you go outside the castle, go straight for about two miles, hang a left, and you'll be at the Lost Plains, where my daughter was last seen." The King said. "Er- Thou mighty Knights shalt go out the castle in a straight fashion. Oh, I give up; I was never meant for this "Old Talk" business."
Sir Thingguy, despite his drowsiness, would've burst out laughing if a messenger hadn't burst through the huge doors.
"The Paradox are here!" the messenger cried.
The king had a look of horror on his face. "And Vladek?"
The messenger nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but instead he fell face down on the ground, revealing a badly scorched back side.
"Oh fellow knights, we must hasten to do what we are to do." Lukas said.
"He's right; should we split up?" Legoboy asked.
"I suppose we must." Talmid said. "Thingguy, thou art to go on to the Lost Plains and find the Lady Jonna. The rest of us shall stay here and defend the Knights' Kingdom."
Later, after the Knights had been equipped with weapons and armor from the King's armory, and Thingguy had slipped out the back way on Deadbeat before the Paradox had completely surrounded the palace, Talmid, Lukas, Legoboy, and Seton stepped into the castle courtyard.
Talmid was wearing custom armor and holding a custom shield and Fantastic Pilum.
Lukas was wearing pirate-like clothes and holding a massive sword and pistol.
Legoboy was wearing white robes and a hood and holding a staff and blue ball, with a double-bladed ax strapped on his back.
They climbed the steps to the ramparts to look out.
They saw a massive army of Paradox soldiers completely surrounding the castle.
"This is not going to be easy." Talmid muttered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@ 15-06-2012 08:10 PM, Sir Jetplane the 7575th wrote:
=== Chapter Four ===
Sir Thingguy strode away on Deadbeat, rambling on about he would address Lady Jonna once he found her. "Hello, I have been sent by your father to- no that won't do! The brave Sir Thingguy has arrived! You and your fish will be safe now……." 
He seemed to jolt out of drowsiness once Talmid addressed the job to him. 
Weird.
- - - - - - - - - - -
King Matthias seemed to follow them up to the lookout ramparts, because once he heard Hycra ask
"Go! Matthias addressed the remaining knights. "Take them out! That is why I hired you!" 
Talmid bowed. "Thy Majesty have hired thus to search out Lady Jonna. Thy have not employed us to siege out renegades!" 
Matthias sighed. "Did you read the contract?" 
Sir Hycra (me) squeaked. "No…..why?" 
Talmid elbowed him. "We'll take thy rebels out, your Majesty!" Talmid huddled up all the other knights. "Thus needs a plan." 
At that moment, King Matthias was the one to yell, in rage. His face turned from yellow, to red. "YOU DON'T HAVE A PLAN?!" 
As if the brave knights already had a plan, which they didn't, they catapulted into the battlefield below- heading straight for a prison carriage. 
~~~
@ 17-06-2012 01:01 AM, Lady Samlooploop wrote:
(Catapulted? :P Okay then... :P )
=== Chapter Five - Who's idea was it to launch from a catapult?! ===
"WHO'S IDEA WAS IT TO LAUNCH OUT OF A CATAPULT?!" Sir Legoboy yelled, flying through the air with Talmid, Lukas and Seton. Even if they had heard him, there was no time to answer- they were yards away from a fast aproaching prison carriage.
"AAAHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH-"
They smashed on contact, due to the incredible speed they had been traveling at. Rebuilding next the the gate, which was still untouched by the Paradox Renegades, Lukas shook his head.
"Faileth."
A messenger came panting up to them, leaning on his knees before looking up to reassure himself of their identities.
"You guys- pant- here, not out there- pant- good, I bring, message, King, pant. He assumes you guys, are, pant, very skilled, huff, so, he wishes for you four, pant, to lead some of his men, huff, as he is too worried 'bout Lady Jonna, for battle. Pant."
Talmid exchanged surprised glances with the rest of the Knights. "Of course, we art ready to serve, but doth not the King hath his own commanders?"
"They fled, when the- pant- Paradox crushed their troops, in, huff, the first battle. None have, stepped up to take, their places." Sir Seton nodded.
"We shall do as he hath requested," he said, "...Where shall we go?" The messenger, now having his breath completely back, explained the details quickly.
".....Now, follow me to the stables, where you will be provided with steeds." The stables weren't far, and inside a groom was already waiting with four beautiful horses. Lukas was given a stout, cheerful, bay horse, while Legoboy mounted a blue-ish looking mare. Seton took the reins of a sleek horse, covered with splotches of tan over a white coat. Talmid mounted a big, white stallion, patting it's shoulder before cantering out with the others. Once outside the castle walls again, they saw the truely depressing battle. The King's men actually outnumbered the Paradox, but they were falling fast, and the Paradox were quickly pushing towards the castle. Multiple medical tents were pitched nearby, with small carriages pulled by shaggy ponies whisking to and from the battle with the wounded. It was a grim sight. Lukas brought their thoughts back to the task at hand, saying, "Come! There art the men which we must leadeth!" He pointed to their right, indicating a large group of soldiers staring at them expectatly. Riding over, the Knights orginized the whole group.
"Archers in back! Spearsmen in front!" Talmid yelled.
"All knights with mounts, make a seperate group to the right! Near the forest!" Legoboy added.
Seton peered at the distant battle carefully. "We should come at them that way!" he called to the other Knights, pointing. Once everyone had found their respective places, Talmid explained what they were to do; and they began to march towards the battle. Legoboy overheard one of the spearsmen muttering sadly to another soldier, "I never thought I would see the day when we were attacked so horribly. There's no decency in war; yet people added rules to going out and smashing each other. But I'll fight- I'll do it for my wife. You've been a good friend..." Then, with renewed courage, "We'll live to meet again."
They were in range now. The whole company halted at the command of one of the Knights, and the archers nocked their bows. "Fire!" The arrows sailed through the air, raining down on the Renegades. "Charge!!!" Sir Lukas and Sir Seton led the calvary in a gallop, sweeping into the battle from the right. The other troops cheered, grateful for renforcements. The archers continued to fire until they had to stop, for fear of hitting their own. They drew their own swords, and charged with the spearsmen headfirst into the battle, led by Sir Talmid and Sir Legoboy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Knights came into the Kings throne room, bowing deeply before reporting. "Good King," Talmid said, taking off his helmet in respect, "the tides hath turned- the Paradox hath retreated to their seige camp. The battle is won!" King Matthias worried face broke into a smile. "Ah, good!! You four have done very well! I cannot thank you enough!" His face fell again. "But I'm told it was a costly battle. So many wounded or smashed... and the Paradox shall no doubt return again." He grew stern.
"I shall have to write to Duke Exter about this outrage."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@ 19-06-2012 09:29 AM, Sir Thingguy the 2nd wrote:
=== Chapter the Sixth — Sir Jonna ===
Thingguy walked out of the Grand Hall and tried to find his way to the stables. It took a while, but he eventually did it. He walked up to the guard outside the stable door and showed him his Identification.
“Third stall to the right,” said the guard, “I think, anyway.”
Thingguy thanked the guard and walked through the door. He found Deadbeat (in the fourth stall to the left, as it happens) and opened up the stall door. The Black Horse looked up from its dinner and greeted Thingguy with a whinny.
‘What took you so long?’ asked Deadbeat.
“The king was less-than-willing to send me after his daughter alone,” replied Thingguy.
‘And that could stop you how?’ asked Deadbeat.
“He’s a king. And my present employer,” said Thingguy, “I can’t deal with him I usually deal with stubborn people like him.”
‘Why not?’
“Because he’d fire me and probably have me tried for treason if I just thumped him on the head,” said Thingguy icily, “now are you going to help me find Lady Jonna or do I have to borrow a pack mule?”
‘You could always go on foot,’ said Deadbeat, ‘help you work off that tummy you’ve been nursing lately.’
“Oh, ha, ha,” said Thingguy, who’s name was often mistaken for Thin-Guy for a reason, “now keep quiet. I’m the only one who can hear you, so the guard will think I’m crazy.”
‘He won’t be too far off the mark,” said Deadbeat, but he quieted all the same.
Thingguy rode Deadbeat past the guard and galloped off to the gate. He came to the drawbridge and the gatekeeper swaggered out of the gatehouse.
“I need your name, business, and approximate time of return,” said the Gatekeeper.
Thingguy switched to official mode and drew his coat of arms out from under his tunic.
“The identity of the man which thou hath been acquainted with is that of Sir Thingguy II, one of the three founders of the Knights of Olde Speech,” said Thingguy, “the business that brings me through thy gate is that I hath been fore sent to seek out the location of the Lady Jonna, and thereupon ferry said damsel back to present location. My returning would preferably be never, but the actual time of my return is, as yet, a mystery to all.”
“Uh… right,” said the Gatekeeper, “could you say that again? In English?”
“I’M SIR THINGGUY II! I’M GOING AFTER LADY JONNA! I DON’T KNOW!!” Thingguy huffed. He was tired of the deplorable vocabulary of the guards here.
“Okay,” said the Guard, “off you pop.”
Thingguy glared at the guard one last time and then spurred Deadbeat to his (rather impressive) full speed.
‘You handled that well,’ said Deadbeat.
“Huh?” asked Thingguy in confusion, his thoughts clouded with the effort of matching stride with Deadbeat.
‘He wasn’t a King or an employer, and you didn’t thump him.’
“Oh, right,” said Thingguy, “well as long as he’s employed by the same man as I, I should at least be patient towards him.”
‘That wasn’t in the job description,’ said Deadbeat with some disappointment, ‘I enjoy watching you lose your temper.’
“Thanks,” said Thingguy, “but I’ll keep my temper with them all the same.”
‘Like you did with the Gatekeeper?’
“You just said I handled that well!”
‘Sarcasm. It happens to be a language I’m proficient in.’
“No. If you were proficient, people would know when you were using it, and when you weren’t.”
‘Not necessarily,’ said Deadbeat, ‘but don’t argue any further, we’re coming into the Lost Void: the forest that borders the Lost Plains, and that is where Lady Jonna was reported seen.’
“So?” asked Thingguy.
‘So we should keep our concentration on the mission,’ said Deadbeat, ‘and to add to that I know I’m right, so there’s no point in pursuing the subject.’
“Fine,” said Thingguy, and they rode in silence.
Soon enough, they came to the vast forest called the Lost Void. The trees were enormous and the underbrush was thick and tangled. The tales said that is was called the Lost Void because no one could find their way out if they went in. Thingguy didn’t believe it, but he could tell that it would be difficult to navigate through there. But if Lady Jonna could do it, so could he.
“I guess I’ll walk ahead and clear the way with my sword,” said Thingguy, “those branches have rather sharp-looking thorns and I don’t want them to cut those tendons of yours.”
‘Suit yourself,’ said Deadbeat.
Thingguy dismounted Deadbeat and drew his sword from his scabbard. He approached the tangled thorns and branches and swung his sword at the brush. His sharp blade cut through the wooden obstacles and he led his horse through the forest, taking hacks and swings at the tangled brush they came across. After several slow hours of trekking through the woodland, minifigure and horse came out of the forest, scratched in a few places, but otherwise unscathed.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” asked Thingguy.
‘Speak for yourself,’ said Deadbeat testily, ‘I’ve got some nasty scratches across my rump.’
“Sunset’s in three hours, and then you rest your poor, scratched rump,” mocked Thingguy.
Deadbeat apparently couldn’t come up with a witty retort to that, because he just snorted and walked away from the forest and towards the cliché-named Lost Plains.
Thingguy smiled to himself since he had finally won an argument against Deadbeat and walked after the horse. 
The plains were vast and flat, with nothing but dead grass everywhere. Two hours passed and still Thingguy walked forward with Deadbeat, the grass getting higher with every thirty meters. The sun was getting low now, and since Thingguy was heading west, his shadow spread out far ahead of him. He lit a torch and continued walking. The sun was just disappearing behind him when he saw it: a horse and rider far ahead of him, just a speck in the distance. He took out his telescope and caught a glimpse of a lady on a white horse when the sun suddenly disappeared. Now Thingguy knew why it was called the Lost Plains. When the sun disappeared, nothing could give off light. An old curse that an ill-natured witch had cast upon the plains made it so that when night fell, no light could shine for more than a meter.
‘Now can I rest my rump?’ asked Deadbeat.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, go ahead,” said Thingguy, distracted. He wasn’t afraid of the dark like Talmid was or anything, he was just… fascinated. He couldn’t help marveling at the way the air swallowed up the light from his torch.
Thingguy cleared away some grass from a spot on the ground and stuck the butt of the torch into the soft dirt. He then gathered a bunch of grasses and made them into a bed of grasses. It was quite comfortable. He turned on his side and watched the fire lick away at the torch. The last thing he saw before he fell asleep was the torch giving a bright burst and then going out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thingguy woke the next morning and found Deadbeat grazing on the dead grass that was surrounding them.
‘Good morning,’ said Deadbeat.
“Good morning,” replied Thingguy, “how’d you sleep?”
‘Okay,’ said Deadbeat, ‘but I’ve slept better.’
“Is there something wrong?” asked Thingguy. Deadbeat was not usually this mellow.
‘This grass tastes terrible,’ said Deadbeat, ‘I miss my oats.’
“Oh, okay,” said Thingguy. Food often was the cause if Deadbeat was in a bad mood, “Well, I saw Lady Jonna last night right before the sun set, so we should be able to catch her today, and then you can go home and have those lovely oats.”
‘Okay,’ said Deadbeat, ‘let’s go.’
Deadbeat stopped grazing and lumbered off into the shoulder-high grass. Thingguy quickly grabbed a piece of pizza from his knapsack and hurried off after Deadbeat. He caught up to the horse and was just about to say something when he received a heavy blow in the small of his back.
Thingguy was sent tumbling forward and did a shoulder roll to break his momentum. He picked himself off the ground and saw a sharp blade swinging towards him. He ducked and then lashed out with his foot, catching his attacker in the shin and causing him to stumbled awkwardly away. Thingguy stood up again and drew his own sword, parrying the stroke that came hard at his skull. He twisted his sword so that the two crosspieces of the swords were locked together and got a look at his attacker. His attacker had long, dark hair, and was wearing a gown. It was Lady Jonna.
A white blur and a pair of hooves hitting his sword hard interrupted Thingguy’s surprise. His sword was sent spinning away and Lady Jonna drew back her sword for a final blow. In desperation, Thingguy threw the only thing he had with him. The piece of pizza that was meant to be his breakfast.
As the pizza made contact with her skin, Lady Jonna screamed and recoiled in a fit of hysterics. She peeled the pizza of her face and used her sleeve to wipe off the sauce that remained. Thingguy quickly grabbed his sword and turned to face Lady Jonna. She had her sword in her hands too, and was rushing towards him. He sidestepped her attack and she was sent sprawling in the high grass. Her horse ran at Thingguy again, but this time Deadbeat leaped in front of the white horse and it made contact with the muscled side of the black horse.
Lady Jonna was up again and was now approaching Thingguy more slowly. She swung at him a couple of times, and now Thingguy realized that they were not the swings of an experienced swordsman (or, more rather, swordswoman), but the swings of someone who desperately wanted to be experienced, but had no past familiarity with the weapon.
Thingguy now lunged at Lady Jonna, and as he expected, she brought her sword up sideways instead of diagonal. The two swords met and Thingguy smiled and then yanked his sword upward, twisted around, flicked his wrist, and now faced a defenseless Lady Jonna.
“Who are you?” asked Lady Jonna.
“I art Sir Thingguy II,” said Thingguy, “I was assigned to find thee and escort thee back to thy father, King Matthias.”
“No!” said Lady Jonna, “No! I don’t want to go back, I’m like a prisoner there!”
“Nonetheless, thou art going home,” said Thingguy.
“I’m not going back!” she screamed, and drew a dagger from her belt. It was sent spinning away by another flick from Thingguy’s sword. An idea occurred to Lady Jonna.
“You’re pretty handy with that sword,” said Lady Jonna.
“What?” asked Thingguy, surprised at the sudden change of subject.
“Could you teach me how to use a sword like that?” asked Lady Jonna.
Thingguy, being a sword teacher by trade, nodded.
“Why?” Thingguy asked.
“I promise to go back with you, if you teach me how to use a sword like you,” said Lady Jonna.
“Why, so that thou can murder me in my sleep?” asked Thingguy, “and anyways, it would take great time to become a master.”
“I don’t want to be a master, I just want to be passable, enough to beat those guards who taunt me for wanting to be a knight,” said Jonna, “and I want to talk like you, too. I know, make me a knight!”
“A monkey could beat those imbeciles called guards,” muttered Thingguy, then in a louder voice, “the ability to talk like myself is not an ability able to be taught. Nay, it is a natural gift. And I couldn’t make thee a knight!”
“Well, fine, forget the talking, I’ll learn that myself,” said Lady Jonna, “but why can’t you make me a knight?”
“Thou art a girl!”
“Make me a dame, then,” said Jonna, “just teach me how to use a sword!”
“Never!”
“Then I’m not coming back with you.”
Thingguy thought about it for a moment. What could it hurt? She wouldn’t hurt her own guards, would she? And the king would be happy to know that his daughter could defend herself!
“Okay, fine,” he said, “I’ll teach you to use a sword if you promise to not be any trouble.”
“I promise,” said Lady Jonna, “and why’d you stop talking like you were from old England?”
“I only do that on official conversations or orders,” said Thingguy, “we’re pretty lax about that nowadays, as when we started this order, if we were to slip out of old talk we’d implore forgiveness for our treason.”
“I see,” said Lady Jonna.
“Now,” said Thingguy, “I’m going to have some breakfast.”
He reached into his knapsack again and drew out another piece of pizza. At the sight of it Lady Jonna shrieked and stepped back a few paces.
“Oh for Pete’s sake, it’s only pizza!” said Thingguy in exasperation. He was NOT going to escort someone who hated pizza.
“PETE?” shrieked Lady Jonna, “Is he here? Where? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Thingguy sighed and chased after the shrieking Lady Jonna, who was now running for her life through the tall grass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@ 28-06-2012 04:05 PM, Sir Ninjago_builders Wrote:
Here it is, the long awaited chapter.
=== === Chapter VI=== (Actually Chapter VII) ===
After Thingguy2 had finally caught up to Jonna and convinced her that she wouldn’t be tortured to death by an invisible green and purple pizza, he began instructing her on how to hold a sword. “You start out with it in your hand like this.” He held his sword slanting upward and out toward Jonna. Jonna copied his movements. “Good. Now Move your feet into this position so that you are stable when you attack. Now the basic attack like this,” he demonstrated, “and then you can add onto that and come back from this side when your opponent tries to block the first swing” He continued and told her about other attacks. After a couple of hours of practicing the correct attacks, he showed her how to block attacks. “When an opponent attacks you can parry and move over here to go on the attack. Or,” he changed his position again, “if you hold it from this side and give a small flick of your hand his weapon will slide off your angled sword, leaving their side open for an attack like this.” He demonstrated. “Or…” Thingguy went on about different kinds of parries, and how to act after you have used them. When his list of 35 different kinds of defensive positions was over, he said, “And then there’s the one that us Knights of the Old Speech use the most. I call it the Tree Tactic. The move is where you jump behind a tree.” He jumped behind a nearby tree to show her how to do it. Then, he jumped back, his face white as a sheet of paper. Go pick up a piece of paper to see how white he was.
“G-g-get bac-ck,” stammered Thingguy to Jonna.
“What’s the matter?” she asked. “Is there anything wrong?”
What was wrong was that an entirely round fish bowl was rolling forward on treads and a small guppy was at the controls, steering it. Then, at the top of the fishbowl, a hatch opened up and the fish stuck out its head.
“Hey *Squeak* dude,” he said in a high-pitched voice. “I’m *Squeak* Squeaky!”
Thingguy nearly fainted.
“It-t-t-t’s a t-t-t-t-talk-k-k-king fish-h-h.”
“Yep!” it squeaked. Now Thingguy was a very brave knight, and never in all of his travels had he been afraid of something, but Squeaky was over the max his bravery abilities could hold.
“R-r-run,” He said shakily.
“Oh don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with Squeaky,” Jonna reassured him. “He’s my pet guppy.”
“Yep!” confirmed Squeaky.
“Oh, um, nice to meat you,” Thingguy said, holding out his hand to shake. Then he remembered that Squeaky was a fish and that he couldn’t shake his hand.”
“Yep!” replied Squeaky.”
“Are you going to say something besides ‘Yep!’?” said Thingguy.
“Yep!”
“Well than say it!”
“Squeak!”
Thingguy sighed in disbelief.
Hey! I got that Tree Tactic move down!” Jonna exclaimed.
The sun slowly sunk below the jagged edge of the horizon, and it started to grow dark.
“Best we set up camp now,” Thingguy advised.
They pitched a tent for the night just as they were swallowed in blackness. Finally, after lying in his tent for some time, Thingguy drifted off into an uneasy sleep, his dreams full of talking sharks and evil guppies. He awoke to the first rays of sunlight seeping through his tent. He didn’t want to get up; he just wanted to lie on his mattress a little more. He was sore from the previous days riding and felt too tired to move. Slowly, he forced himself out of bed and started getting breakfast. Best to eat all his pizza before Jonna woke up. He crammed it down his throat and savored the rich tomato sauce, the slightly spicy pepperoni, and a shriveled mushroom. Hmm, maybe he could live without the mushroom. He threw it back over his head where it plopped to the ground. After the sun had progressed a little farther across the sky, Jonna awoke. She rubbed her eyes sleepily before taking some hardboiled eggs from out of her pack. She started pealing one, but then dropped it and jumped back in alarm almost exactly like Thingguy2 did when he saw squeaky.
“Th-there it is,” she said shakily.
“What?” Thingguy inquired.
“The traces of P-P-Peter,” she said, pointing to the mushroom that Thingguy had thrown over his head. “He must have been spying on us last night.” She looked around, as if expecting Peter to come out and charge them any moment. Squeaky also looked apprehensive. He exclaimed in his high pitched voice, “Peter?! Ahh! Jonna told me how evil he is!” He dropped his voice to nearly a whisper. “And she said that he has dead anchovies! Agg!” He shuddered. Thingguy rolled his eyes up to the sky. The next few days were much like the first; sword practice, talking fish, and Peter. Mostly Peter, though. Still, they made headway on Jonna’s sword skills, and soon Thingguy thought that she was good enough with a sword to be able to hold her own in a fight. As they went to saddle their horses, he remembered that he hadn’t fed Deadbeat that day and that he would probably be very irritable. They walked up to their horses and started to saddle them. Jonna said, “I’m sorry, I was doing my sword practice today, I didn’t have time.”
“Excuse me?” said Thingguy.
“Oh, um, it might sound strange, but I can talk to my horse,” Jonna replied.
“Oh,” said Thingguy.
“See? I’m not crazy,” Thingguy whispered in Deadbeat’s ear.
“Why would I think you’re crazy?” Deadbeat inquired innocently.
“Don’t tell me you don’t remember all the times that you said I must be crazy because I’m the only one who could talk to horses,” replied Thingguy. “You know you said it.” And to that, Deadbeat had no reply, other than, “I’m hungry.” Thingguy smiled. Jonna, who had overheard Thingguy’s whispered conversation with his horse came up to him and said, “You can talk to horses too? Now I have proof that I’m not crazy! My horse always said that I must be crazy because I was the only one who could talk to horses.”
“Really? What a surprise.”
They rode off, back to the woods, and Thingguy got off his horse to clear the way for them through the trees. Hopping off her horse, Jonna insisted that she be allowed to clear the way as well, and attacked the trees with her sword as if they were an enemy that needed to be chopped into firewood. Sometime after noon, they reached the end of the forest. Thingguy saw the battle at hand, and jumped off his horse to help. Talmid rode toward them, chased by seven other evil horsemen. Before Thingguy could react, however, a large missile rack unfolded from Squeaky’s fish tank and fired a volley of heat seeking missiles after the enemy. All of the horsemen except one were blown into the air. The third horseman charged Jonna, but she sidestepped his horse and knocked him down to the ground. Talmid rode at him and he was soon smashed.
“Finally, you’re back,” he said to Thingguy. “Let’s go, we’ve got a battle to win.”
@ 01-07-2012 12:47 AM, Sir Talmid wrote:
=== === Chapter VII=== (Actually Chapter VIII) ===
As he was saying "We've got a battle to win.", Talmid had taken a slice of pizza from one of the numerous pockets that adorned the saddle of his brown stallion, and he had begun munching on it. Jonna's eyes bugged out at the sight of it, and when Talmid innocently asked, "Want some too?" and held out a piece to the Lady, she fell off her horse.
"Long story," Thingguy said quickly, and hopped off Deadbeat to help Jonna back onto Hwin. "I don't even know any of it."
Talmid shrugged. "Fine with me." he said, putting the spare pizza back in the pocket and finishing his own. "Sir Legoboy and I are on our way to meet with Sir Seton and Sir Lukas near the Fire Hills," he informed Sir Thingguy. The Fire Hills were really a long range of mountains near the edge of King Mathias's kingdom's North border, bordering two neighboring kingdoms. When a war was being waged, huge piles of wood were set aflame to signal for allied assistance. "Want to come?"
Thingguy was going to answer yes, but he saw Jonna still staring in a panic at the tomato sauce dribbling down Talmid's chin, putting nice red stains on his armored vest. "Uh, I think not, Sir," Thingguy stammered.
"Understood, Sir Thingguy." Talmid said with a nod, and glanced at Sir Lukas who was leading a battalion of King Mathias's riders towards The Ghost Passages, which were the fastest route to The Fire Hills. "I'll be going now, good luck Thingguy, Jonna!" he called as he nudged his knees into his stallion's side. With a whinny, the horse took off, and Thingguy thought he could hear Talmid saying, "Hey, that's not even enough force to hurt a fly! You're being a nuisance, Ace."
Thingguy shrugged, and slowly turned Deadbeat to face the main road that would take them back to the castle. Strangely without a protest of any kind, Deadbeat began trotting along the road, when Thingguy felt Jonna's hand on his shoulder.
"I can feel him," she whispered, looking around wildly.
"Who-?" Thingguy asked, startled, but then came to his senses. "You mean Peter the-"
"Shhhh!" Jonna clamped a hand over his mouth. "We shouldn't mention his name, or he'll find us!" she squeaked. "The main road lacks decent coverage to protect us from him."
With an exasperated sigh, Thingguy proclaimed, "Peter the Pizza is fake."
Jonna glared at him, and headed Hwin in the direction of a sideroad which lead into the "Void Minor", a less dense part of the "Lost Void" which stretched on until a small town near the castle.
Realizing he wouldn't be able to change her mind, Thingguy pointed Deadbeat away from a bush he was eating from after Jonna and Hwin. Irritated, Deadbeat whined, "I'm hungry."
"I'll give you more oats than you can ever imagine if you just do what I say for once," Thingguy seethed.
"Well I can imagine quiet a bit." Deadbeat countered.
"You'll get it," Thingguy grumbled.
"I'd better." Deadbeat replied.
"You will." Thingguy added with some hesitation, "I promise."
"You broke all of the last five promises you made to me." Deadbeat muttered, but before Thingguy could talk back, the horse lumbered away from his bushes after Jonna, who had already went pretty far into the shadows of the Void Minor. Apparently the prospect of food was too much for Deadbeat to put up much of a fight. With a smirk, Thingguy leaned back, and closed his eyes. Deadbeat may be annoying at times, but Thingguy trusted him to follow Jonna and Hwin wherever they went, as long as he was blinded by millions and millions of imaginary oats.
...
A growling sound awoke Thingguy from his very bumpy and uncomfortable nap. It was so uncomfortable that there was a possibility Thingguy wasn't even asleep, but he got some rest nonetheless. "Is that you Deadbeat?" he mumbled, as the growling noise reached his ears again. "Always thinking of your stomach."
"It's not me," Deadbeat said defensively.
Thingguy sat up straight on his saddle, and looked ahead. There was no sign of Jonna or Hwin, and Thingguy's heart began beating rapidly in a growing panic. Then he realized it was nighttime, thus very dark that he couldn't see anything more than five feet ahead of him, and the sound of hooves clomping on the ground more than five feet ahead of him assured the knight that Jonna was still ahead.
Thingguy took a deep breath, and was about to go back to sleep when he heard the growling again. He looked down at his stomach, and Deadbeat muttered, "It's you."
"Not me!" Thingguy cried. "I'm not even hungry."
The growling intensified, and the hairs on the back of Thingguy's neck rose. His ears twitched, and as the noise grew louder, he discerned it was coming from behind.
And above.
He barely had enough time to draw his sword and whirl around before out of the dark came a massive, purple form. A green tummy, and green spots adorned its sides, but that was all Thingguy saw before a large tail struck his face and knocked him clean off Deadbeat and onto the hard road. His head banged against a rock, and the last thing Thingguy was aware of was Jonna screaming and a horrendous, obnoxious, laugh coming from the thing that hit him.
And then it spoke, "Hohoho, oh boy oh boy! This is super deeeeeeeee duper! Prepare to die!" before the unconscious form of Deadbeat collapsed down on Sir Thingguy, knocking him out as well.
_______
@ 04-07-2012 07:31 AM, Sir JohnNC wrote:
=== Chapter IX ===
Thingguy stirred and began to regain consciousness. He was sitting, tied to a chair in a room with a lamp suspended from the ceiling. Next to him was Lady Jonna, also tied to a chair. He looked around the room and saw a door at the far end. It opened, and in stepped a figure dressed in black with a mask covering its face. It brandished a sword as it strode forward. 
"wel i see thet yu ar awak!" it said. 
"Who are you?" Thingguy asked. 
"shut op u stupit nite! I wil asck the kwestchins!" the figure yelled. 
"naoow," it went on, "u wont tu nowe hoo i am, wel i am ur bigist inimee, thedude!" the figure yelled. 
Thingguy was not very impressed, and Lady Jonna tried not to smirk. "u sea this?" thedude asked, holding up the sword, "this iz mah gramer sord, und iff u dount anser mah kwestchins, i wil hit u wit it!" Thingguy and Jonna looked at each other and stared at thedude. "i wont tu nowe wat ur plans ar!" thedude demanded. But before Thingguy could answer, a soft knocking sound came from the door. "hoo iz ther?" thedude asked, annoyed. The door opened, and in walked a purple dinosaur. thedude rolled his eyes. "Hi boss!" the dinosaur said, "I think that we need a playground with swings and a seesaw. Hoo hoo hoo! Then this secret base of yours will be fun!" thedude gawked in disbelief. "u dum sidkik! git aowt and leev me aloun wit mah prisinors!" thedude screamed. The dinosaur hung his head and left the room. 
"naoow," thedude said calmly, "tel me ur plans ore elss!" 
Again a soft knock on the door was heard. thedude mumbled something and said, "com in!" The door opened and the dinosaur stuck its head in, "Could we have a sandbox?"
"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" thedude screamed. The dinosaur abruptly shut the door. "stupit sidkik." thedude said angrily, as he turned and faced the prisoners. "naoow tel me ur plans!" he said. But before either of them could answer, a loud rapping sound came from the door. thedude snarled and walked up to it, then flung it open. A pizza delivery guy stood on the step holding a box. "This thedude's place?" he asked. thedude nodded. "I got a double pepperoni pizza here," the delivery guy said. Jonna's face turned white, and she muttered something about Peter following her. "go giv it tu mah sidkik, hes nam is barny." thedude said. 
The delivery guy left, and thedude shut the door. But before he had let go of the handle, someone tapped on the door. thedude opened the door angrily and was immediately knocked down, hitting his head on the stone floor and losing consciousness. A fish bowl on treads sped into the room and deployed a mechanical arm with a saw. "Squeaky!" Thingguy and Lady Jonna said at once. "At your service!" the guppy squeaked as he began to saw through the ropes binding them. Once they were free, Squeaky led them out of the room into a courtyard surrounded by walls. He led them to a thatched stable where they found Hwin and Deadbeat. The horses whinnied when they saw them. Thingguy mounted Deadbeat and turned to Squeaky, "You know the way out, so you lead us." 
Squeaky led them to a gate. It was open, and there were no guards. "Where are the guards?" Thingguy asked Squeaky. But Squeaky did not answer, for at that moment a voice yelled behind them, "Boss! Boss! Your prisoners are escaping!" It was thedude's sidekick, or Barney. Jonna and Thingguy spurred their horses to a gallop and sped through the gate, leaving Barney yelling his head off behind them.
-----
@ 30-07-2012 02:04 PM, Sir Talmid wrote:
=== Chapter 12 - Talmid Version PART 1 ===
PART 1
I'm gonna try and make this NOT very long. 
Chapter 12 (RIGHT?)
Speeding into the early morning light nearly blinded Sir Thingguy II, but it gave him comfort to know they hadn't spent too long in thedude's hideout. Or had they remained unconscious for a full day and it was already two days from when they were captured? Or more?
Trying to calculate the date gave the knight a headache, so he tried to get his attention off it and more to his escape. "Faster, Deadbeat. Faster!" he urged, as the sound of gunfire and purple clouds erupting from the road to his sides confirmed their captors were in pursuit.
Jonna and Hwin sped off ahead, with Squeaky's surprisingly overpowered tank keeping pace.
It only occurred to Thingguy a few seconds too late why he was so far behind his companions, and why the gap between his pursuers was getting smaller. Deadbeat had come to a full stop, and was eagerly munching on a bush.
"DEADBEAT!!" Thingguy roared, barely able to control himself from flinging his full weight against his steed, which he actually already was since he was seated on him.
"I'm hungry." Deadbeat whined, his alleged hunger making him oblivious to the source of the purple gunfire as it stepped over, and then put the barrel of it's weapon against Thingguy's head.
Thingguy's headache came back to life as he felt the cold metal against his temple. He strained his eyes to see the armored warrior to his right side. Deadbeat had stopped munching, and only now seemed to have realized the trouble he had gotten them into.
"You have evaded the bosses and their fails of guards, pathetic knight." the dark knight said coolly. "But you wont stop me."
He pulled the trigger, and proceeded to curse as he threw the weapon out of his sight. Apparently this mysterious minion of antigrammar was as foolish as his bosses to have forgotten to cock his weapon before pulling the trigger.
A sword was instantly at his neck, and the warrior stated, "Prepare to die."
Looking down at the blade, Thingguy read the words inscribed into it. "Lord V" they spelled.
Thingguy paled, not just because of the blade to his throat, but because he came to the horrible realization. He was about to become the next victim of now no longer very mysterious dark knight, known for his cruelty, evilness, cunningness, slyness, and all around being the worst bad guy ever to plague the universe.
It was Lord Vladek.
...
@ 03-09-2012 10:28 PM, Sir Ninja_Of_Lava wrote:
=== Chapter 13, DOOM! ===
When Thingguy awoke, the first thing he found was that he was in a large, dark red dungeon. The second thing he found was a blazing pain in his head, shoulders, and midriff. He looked down. He was covered in blood. The wounds on his body were still open, thus the pain. He looked around and saw that Jonna, Talmid, Squeaky, and shared the cell with him. Everyone except him was asleep. He decided that he would take advantage of Jonna’s sleep and eat some lunch, AKA: pizza. He felt his pockets and then he groaned. All his pizza had been stripped from him. He decided to go back to sleep so he could forget his hunger. Just as he fell asleep on the mildew infested ground, he was rudely awakened by a guard. “Hey you, wake up, you’re going to meet your doom in five minutes. Go wake your friends up.” The guard said. Thingguy got up painfully and looked around. A platter of food had been left there for them to eat. Thingguy went over and took some healing cherries off the plate. After that, he felt ready to take on anything. He would soon eat his words, err, his thoughts, once he was finished eating his cherries and faced the unnatural tortures that awaited him. As Thingguy woke up his friends, the guard came back. “YOUR DOOM AWAITS!!! Come with me.” Four dark knights came in and brought them into a room. Inside, Vladek and TheDude were both doing evil laughs. “Mhuhahahahahahahahahah” ”MuhAhAhAhAhAhAhA!
“Uh, excuse me, but why are you both doing evil laughs?” Talmid asked. The Dude’s answer was not pleasant. “Wii hav finilee agredd on wat yor doom wil bee!” Vladek opened a door and the guards pushed them into a room occupied by Barany and a rock band. “Your first torture,” Vladek announce, “you shall be FORCED TO LISTEN TO AN OPERA SONG COMPOSED BY…BARNEY THE DINOSAURE!!!!!!” Immediately, all of the heroes groaned from despair. The band started to play. “Boo boo shee booboo boobooboo shee…” Then Barney started to sing. It sounded like the death cry of a sick donkey. 
He started to sing his theme song in opera to a rap tune. Just one word can describe this agony; horrific. Squeaky gurgled and fell to the bottom of his deactivated fish tank. After the six and a half hour song had ended, Vladek, the dude and some guards took them into an arena. On the bleachers were thousands of rough paradox and thousands of dark knights. Vladek, TheDude, and the other guards went up some stairs up onto the bleachers. They were thrown through a large door out into the arena. Jonna squinted after leaving the darkness and appearing in such bright light. At the other end of the arena, a large purple mass appeared in an archway. “Your opera/rap song may have fried my brains to a crisp, Barny,” Tamid called out, “but you do not have the skill to face me and my comrades face to face!”
The crowd laughed at him.
“What?!?!” he yelled to the crowd. “You’re ruining my dramatic moment! I was about to say how Barny was no match for us and you HAVE to ruin the epicenes by laughing! What’s wrong with you?!?!”
“Come on, Talmid, just ignore them,” Thingguy reasoned. “Let’s just defeat Barny and get out of here, right Lady Jonna? Jonna?” He said. He turned around. “Jonna, what’s wrong? You look as if you’ve seen Godzilla.” Jonna screamed, and fainted. Then Squeaky squeaked extra loud, and fainted. Thingguy looked again at his opponent and saw that it was not quite Barney. “I think I can tell what it is,” said Talmid, squinting. “It’s a bird. No, it’s a plane. Wait, it’s a…what is that?” Thingguy groaned. “Peter the Pizza.”
@ 09-09-2012 03:46 PM, Sir Agentsky the 1022nd wrote:
Thingguy gulped. Was this the legendary Peter the Pizza Jonna always talked about? Wait a minute- it didn't have ancovies. Didn't Jonna say that Peter the Pizza had anchovies? Then it wasn't Peter the Pizza. But what was it? Just as if he read Thingguys thoughts, Talmid shouted:
"who are you?"
"I am Pete the Pizza! Prepare to die!"
"Any relation to Peter the Pizza?"
"he's my brother"
Thingguy looked down. Jonna had blacked out when she saw Pete. But maybe...
"Talmid," Thingguy whispered. "Wake up Jonna, I'll distract Pete."
But as it turns out, there was no need. Thedude came in and told Pete that they needed hm elsewhere, and Barney took his place (just wondering, why is barney evil?). Barney didn't look very scary, but he was dressed up in a pizza suit. So when Jonna woke up, she freaked out and fainted again. Talmid and thingguy attacked Barney. Luck was on their side that day, because Barney was wearing the Pizza suit upside-down, and couldn't see very well. They easilly took him down. "awlwite" said thedude "yor nekst chalanj iz..."
@ 26-09-2012 07:14 PM, Sir Ninjago_builders wrote:
=== Chapter 13 ½: Barney unleashed! ===
“While we wait for your doom, which ironically will be done in just the time it takes to write the chapter of a story,” Barney explained, “I shall keep you entertained.” The heroes all gulped at the same time. “Now, if anyone gets these question wrong they will face extreme torture. My first question is…Why did the chicken cross the road?!?!”
“Um…to get to the other side?” Jonna suggested.
“NO!” Barney roared. “TO GET TO THE TV ACROSS THE STREET SO HE COULD WATCH MY TV SHOW!”
“Oh, yeh, I knew that. I was just testing you.”
“Arr, next question: What did the chicken do before he crossed the road?”
“Um, what?” asked Thingguy.
“HE LOOKED BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE STREET! HAVN’T YOU GUYS LEARNED ANYTHING FROM MY TV SHOW?!?!”
“Um, never watched it.” Talmid told him.
“You’ve never wah?!?! Well, you shall now learn the true meaning of BARNEY!”
And Barney chained them in front of a TV and forced them to watch his show until the horrors that awaited them were ready.
And the moral of the story is, “GET THAT CHAPTER DONE SO THAT THEY WON’T HAVE TO WATCH BARNEY ALL DAY!” 
@ 04-10-2012 12:10 AM, Lady Samlooploop wrote:
=== ~*Chapter 14 (I think)*~ ===
Jonna sighed. Of all the things she expected when she ran away, being pig-tied in a triangle with two "Knights of the Olde Speech" (Whatever that was), who were (supposed to be) saving her (since she had run away and no one knew where she went) and her father's country (which was apparently under attack from what she heard), was not on the list of things she had expected. All she had wanted was to show everyone at the castle she was NOT a delicate teacup and saucer that needed to be locked up stitching and knitting her life away! At least now she could use a sword- somewhat. After fainting in the arena, she had woken up to Talmid telling her something about it not being Peter the Pizza (yeah right). But then Peter had come back, this time upside down- so she fainted again. When she woke up the second time it was one of those rouge Paradox lugging the three of them off by orders of thedude. He or she had brought them here-a small, cold room, barren of any furniture or lights. Now they were stuck with the lunatic in there. A distorted voice yanked her attention back to the present.
"wel, i desided tat puting ewe al in tha areena was not furthring mah cose. me an mah asistant barny hav desided too colekt inpho on our enimies thruh yahs, HAHAHAHHAH!!!!" jeered thedude, leaning over them threateningly. Barney, who had just managed to wiggle out of the upside-down pizza suit bobbed his head helpfully in agreement. "Yup!" Thedude crossed his arms and continued, "so- wets start wif hoo you al ar!" Here he paused, contimplating for a moment. "say barny, doo whee now hoo thay ar?" Barney shook his head. "Nope!" "hah! just as i suspekted...." he bent over to look Talmid in the eye, "hoo ar yahs?!"
Talmid wrinkled his nose in response. "Thou art in dire need of a mint."
"was tat an in-sult?!" thedude roared, then stopped suddenly. "barny, do you now wat langwage hes speeking?"
"Nope boss, I thought you would."
"wat?! you ar tha on whith tha edicasonal shoh!!" 
"Well, boss, no need to get frusterated. We can all be patient here, can't we? I don't cover other languages, but it sounded chinese. But why don't you just as them nicely, instead of being so rude? We should all just be frien-"
"O BEE QWIAT! i wil handl dis. i asc agan, hoo ar yahs?"
Thingguy tried to turn his head around to see what was going on, but dispite his limited vision, decided to answer anyways. "We art two founders of the Knights of the Olde Speech, and Lady Jonna of the house of Mathias accomponies us. Release us, ye of foul grammar!"
Thedude paused, squinting. "uh.... gett me da trans-waiter. wait! weres tha fish?!"
Barney shrugged, "It's wrong to keep it from its natual home, so I let it go. We should all be kind to nature, and never take a animal from the wil-"
"O noes!" gasped thedude, "wat hav you don?! Grrrr. alwite, hoos fish was it?" he turned on the three captives savagely. None of them spoke up. "hmmmm... it ws probabwhee a wild fish. beesids, wat can an fish doo too stop mah?!? Im da mastr of da red mithrens!!!"- Talmid's eyebrows raised a little here- "i comand dem and soon, da wowrld wif it!!! HAHAHAHA.... now.... dis time, anser mee: hoo ar-"
Fortunatly, before he could finish the sentence, one of the reagade Paradox stepped in. "You called, master?" he said in smooth, even tones. Thedude turned around impatiently.
"wel finealy. tooc you wong enuf. wat langwige ar dey speeking, trans-waiter?" he said in his strange, disorderly voice.
"They seem to be mute, my lord."
Thedude groaned. "den get da remote and turn of mute!"
This time the translater groaned. "Were they speaking before, my lord?"
"Yesh! why elsh wood i cal yous?!"
The translater started to speak, then checked himself. "Of course, my lord. My mistake," he crooned. Turning to the three captives, he questioned, "Who are you?"
Talmid and Thingguy could both get a fairly good view of him, but Jonna was facing the opposite direction. "I can't see!" she complained, twisting her head in all possible directions. Behind her she heard Thingguy sigh and answer, "As I hath clearly stated beforehand to thy supposed 'lord', we art two founders of the Knights of the Olde Speech, and Lady Jonna of the house of Mathias accomponies us. We- well, tis would truely be a lie to say we hath no quarell with ye. Nonetheless, we beseech ye to release our persons!"
The translator nodded, taking it all in very intently. "I see," he said slowly, "I will have to think this over. It's a rare tongue, and I never have mastered it... something about donuts?"
Barney sighed dreamily. "Hmmm, donuts..."
"I shall have to think this over and look up a few words in my books," the rouge continued, "It may take a few hours. If you'll excuse me, my lords." With this, he bowed to thedude and barney respectfully and swept out of the room muttering to himself. "Playing cards with whales? No, maybe they want to square dance? Square dancing with whales and feasting on donuts?"
Another of the Paradox rouges stuck its head in suddenly, annoucning in a grand voice, "DINNER- is served!" The head dissappeared as quickly as it came. Barney happily bounced out, entranced with visions of donuts. (Of course, not too many. That would be unhealthy and ruin his big dinosaur teeth.) Thedude growled impatiently- or perhaps it was his stomach.
"o, i wil bee bak four yahs latter." He started to leave.
"Wait!" Jonna said, "What about us? I'm hungry, and thirsty."
Thedude growled again, only this time it wasn't his stomach for sure. "you wil al get foood latter. now bee qwiat! hmm, ware DID Vladek go?" He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
Talmid frowned. "What was that he said about 'Red Mythrans'?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@ 04-10-2012 03:31 PM, Sir Talmid wrote:
=== Supposedly Chapter 15 ===
"latter" didn't take very long, because within ten minutes the two Knights of the Olde Speech and Lady Jonna were eating - no, that would be an understatement surprisingly - FEASTING on the food that a renegade Paradox guy, wearing a nametag with the name "Walter" written on it, brought them. It consisted of a few glazed donuts, one pizza pie with no toppings at all (including cheese) leaving only tomato sauce, and two bags of gummy worms. They were feasting because they were famished, starving from their being captured and having to go through the arena, Barney, thedude's bad grammar (and lack of mint), and the interrogation.
Walter the Helmeted Bad Guy left without saying a word, leaving the three prisoners of thedude and the mysterious Red Mythrans to themselves.
Chewing thoughtfully on his tomato sauce on a triangle, Talmid brought back his question from earlier which had gone ignored due to his partners' lack of energy. "Who and what are these 'Red Mythrans'?"
At that moment a bag of gummy worms exploded in Thingguy's hands, sending long stretchy and sticky things all over the place. The distraction was enough to send Talmid's question back into the realms of the forgotten. Rolling his eyes, Talmid tried again. "What did he say about 'Red Mythrans'?"
Thingguy's eyebrows twitched. "'Red Mythrans'-?" he started.
Suddenly the door was knocked open, and Walter the Helmeted Bad Guy stepped in. Silently, he retrieved the glazed donuts and left as suddenly as he had arrived. Exchanging glances, Jonna and Thingguy had only one word in their thoughts. "Barney".
Talmid was thinking of how irritated and annoyed he was. He growled, "Can someone enlighten me what the 'Red Mythrans' Lord Dude spoke of-"
And then, through the tiny barred hole in the wall near the stone ceiling of their prison, the messenger pigeon flew in, a rolled up paper tied securely to it's leg.
"The messenger pigeon!" Jonna yelped, scrambling towards it to retrieve the note. The courier of King Mathias apparently didn't like being lunged at by a princess-turned-knight, and flew around the room, cooing and making it's pigeon trills.
"I've gotten it!" Thingguy said with a grin, leaping up into the air and just missing the messenger pigeon's form, instead only closing his hand around its tail. As gravity set back into work and he fell down, the pigeon went down with him, and they both hit the ground.
The note tumbled out, and Talmid quickly grabbed it. "CAN WE PLEASE SPEAK OF THE RED MYTHRANS NOW?!" he roared.
His outburst made Jonna and Thingguy jump, causing the latter to release the messenger pigeon, which immediately flew up to a perch and began cleaning its wings.
"All in good time, Sir Talmid." Thingguy assured him. "Let's investigate the message."
Grumbling under his breath, Talmid handed the note to Sir Thingguy. "Tis a message from Sir Luke!" he gasped.
Jonna peered over his shoulder and read.
"'At the moment I am sending this, Sir Seton and I are on our way to find and rescue thou with the army of the King. With my skills and leadership, King Mathias's army has managed to push back the rogue renegade Paradox into the forest.
We have also captured a mysterious talking guppy, who insists to be on your side. I don't believe him, and have his strange fish tank contraption caged.
I trust this message will find you!
Sir Luke"
Talmid paced around the room while Jonna read Sir Luke's message aloud. When she finished, he stated, "Do thou recall how easily we fell into Lord thedude's hands? We mustn't let Sir Luke be captured as well!"
"But he has the whole of my father's army with him, he can't be beaten so easily." Jonna said uncertainly. "Sir Luke said so himself how they got the rogues to retreat."
"But that was with his leadership," Sir Talmid groaned. "Alas, if thedude captures Luke, then the army is lost. Tis for sooth!"
Thingguy began crying, and Talmid hastily found a piece of charcoal that was lying in the crumbled remains of a fireplace. He took the paper and began writing on the other side, before tying it back to the messenger pigeon and sending it away.
"What did you write?" Lady Jonna asked.
"Our reply," Talmid said. "I've rethought what you said, and realized the army is underskilled against thedude's forces. But if Luke had more skilled warriors with him, then he has a much better chance!"
Jonna's face lit with recognition. "You mean more Knights?"
Thingguy instantly stopped crying, and knocked down Talmid in his fit of victory. "YES!!! THAT'S IT!! THOU ART A HERO SIR TALMID!"
Not one of them had a thought of how Squeaky the Guppy was faring as Sir Luke's prisoner.
_________
@ 05-10-2012 11:10 AM, the 1022nd Agent of the Sky wrote:
Sir Luke was very distressed. He had recieved a letter from his good friend and fellow knight, Talmid. Appearently, he and Thingguy and the Princess were captured by an enemy known as Thedude. The letter advised him to hire more knights. But right now, he had other things to worry about...
"I already told you before, I'm jonna's friend, if you le me go I can show you where Talmid and Thingguy are!"
Sir Luke sighed. "I'm sorry fellow, but I can't let you go until we have proof that you're on our side. After all, you snuck into the castle, AND you were seen by the royal treasurey. It looks awfly susspicious. Until we get a reply from Talmid proving that you are on our side, you have to stay here." Sir Luke was getting annoyed with this fishy fellow. But he had other things to deal with. 'I have to find soem more knights' he thought. He was awesome, but even awesome people need some help. So he hung up a sign that said "Knights wanted! Talk to Sir Luke to sign up to be a Knight!". Knights... "Uh-oh" said Sir Luke. The Paradox renegades were attacking again. This would be a big fight...
The fight was over. king matthias lost many men. But more Knights were signing up. Luke looked at the list of names.
-Sir sharp.
-Ninjago_Builders
-Ninja_of_Lava
-Agentsky1022 (Sorry just couldn't resist putting my own name in there).
sir Luke sighed. He would have to wait till they got more Knights to save Thingguy and Talmid. Oh, and Jonna. But he would get more Knights- in the next chapter..
@ 10-10-2012 06:44 AM, Sir Thingguy wrote:
=== Perpetual Doom – the Chapter that came after the last one (chronologically speaking) ===
Squeaky was upset. He had been in this cage for an entire two minutes now, and the battery on his fish tank was beginning to die. Of course, it’s been about seven years since his last battery change, so the battery did have right to go on strike, but that didn’t keep Squeaky from being upset.
He was just about begin doing the classic “grab the bars of your cell and try to twist them loose even though that only works .1% of the time” trick, when King Matthias walked in, having taken a wrong turn to the library.
King Matthias saw Squeaky in his cage, two mechanical arms attached to his fish bowl holding the bars, and threw himself at the guppy.
“You’re my daughter’s pet guppy, aren’t you?” asked King Matthias
“Yeah, why?” asked Squeaky.
“Where’s my daughter?” asked King Matthias.
“No idea,” said Squeaky, “but the numbskull who locked me up in here assured me that he’d find them, and anyone with that much awesomeness has got to be able to find them.”
“Well, here, let me let you out of there,” said King Matthias, and with a Star Wars-Style Transition we switch to the next scene.
-----------
Sir Lukas rode through the woods that led to village. Behind him, his very first knight recruit, Sir Seton, rode in pace with him, looking at all the surrounding trees. He saw a tree he really liked. He fainted.
One of King Matthias’s men who was riding with them helped the revived Sir Seton back onto his horse, and the party continued riding. They were on their way to the village of Skate to find more knights, having realized the need to do so after Talmid’s letter via Messenger Pigeon.
They were almost at the village of Skate when Lukas got a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. Turning his head back they came (he’s LEGO, he can do that), he saw a most petrifying sight.
Hundreds, maybe thousands of monkeys were closing in upon them, holding crude-looking weapons made out of bananas. Sir Lukas gave a battle cry to alert everyone to the monkeys’ presence, and charged, calling for Seton to do so as well. Seton fainted.
The monkeys fell upon the party, stabbing and hacking with their banana weapons, giving loud screeches. One of King Matthias’s men took a banana to the face and got a broken nose. The knight retaliated with his sword and then monkey lost his nose.
Seton had been revived by now and was hacking away at the monkeys that pressed in around him. He was doing really well, too, until the monkeys made him think of Thingguy, and in extension Talmid, and he fainted in admiration.
Lukas was doing awesome. His awesome sword of awesomeness was cutting through the monkeys’ weapons and leaving them unarmed. The battle was almost won, when suddenly a monkey archer shot a banana arrow at Lukas’s knee. The shot was true.
Giving a cry of pain, Lukas fell to ground, clutching his knee.
“I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee,” Lukas said sadly. When he saw both his men and monkeys exchanging looks of puzzlement, he yelled, “It’s a video game line that became extremely popular for no known reason!!!! Don’t you guys know anything?”
No one did understand, but while the monkeys were scratching their heads, Lukas stood up, ran over to Seton, revived him, and ordered everyone who still had a horse (most had run away in the battle) to ride, and people who didn’t to use their roller-skates. 
Later that night, the monkey king realized that bananas should be left as food, and not used as weapons, being rather ineffectual.
thedude slammed his fist on the table in rage.
“what you mean you no find them.” Hollered thedude, “me want them foundified.”
“But, sir,” said Barney in-between donuts, “we’ve used everything we have, and still can’t find the other knight. And the translator told us they were on ‘official business.’”
“no.” said thedude, “we no use everything. we have yet to use elmo.”
“Do you want me to go get him, boss?” asked Barney, finishing off the donuts.
“yes.” Said thedude, “bring here him.”
In a few seconds, the dark hunter Elmo was kneeling in front of thedude.
“La, la, la, la, Elmo’s here!” sang Elmo proudly, “La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Elmo’s here! You called me, master! That’s why I’m here! That’s… Elmo’s world!”
Enjoying all things obnoxious, thedude cackled and gave Elmo his dark instructions. And with a Star Trek-style fade to black with doom-impending music, we go the next chapter….
….sometime soon, I hope. :P
@ 10-10-2012 03:28 PM, Sir EthanWS wrote:
=== Chapter #Something-or-other. :P ===
Cue Epic Action Scene-Chapter. :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elmo whispered to his minions Mr. Noodle, Dorothy, and Mr. Noodle's brother; Mr. Noodle.
"Dorothy, I want you to take care of their fishy. Mr. Noodle and Mr. Noodle's brother; Mr. Noodle, show them how to swim. I'll sneak up on them from behind."
Bubbles came from the goldfish's mouth, signifying agreement. The Noodle brothers nodded maniacally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, after setting up camp and making sure the monkeys were gone, Lukas collapsed in the middle of the campsite. (You know, if I was mean I would call this the end of the chapter. :P  Thus giving you a tiny chapter with a huge cliffhanger. :P But I'm not tehdud. :P) As Luke slept, everyone else, except Squeaky, dropped off to sleep.
A bush started shaking. And out of it came a red, furry hand pushing a fish tank, inside was a normal looking goldfish.
Squeaky simply yawned and rolled the fish tank down a nearby hill and into a convenient nearby lake. He looked down and saw two dark shapes, tripping over each other while setting up a lifeguard's chair and enclosed swimming area in water about 6 inches deep. 
Squeaky was tired after a long day of talking, and thought nothing of it. He settled down to go to sleep.
Just as he dropped off, a loud, obnoxious toy piano sound started. Accompanying the piano was one word, repeated over and over.
"Sleep, sleep, sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep! Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep!" 
The horrible singing was washed down by high pitched, weirdish laughter.
"Hahahahaha!"
As I'm sure we've all guessed by now, it was the Dark Hunter, Elmo.
Everybody was awake by now, and a monstrous form made it's way out of the forest. A shaggy, red form with an orange ball for a nose came out of the forest. Arms outstretched and razor-sharp crayons in it's hands, Elmo was a terrible sight to behold.
Lightning flashed behind the monster, illuminating it's face for a split second. His eyes held a reddish glow for a few seconds after the lightning.
Then a lightning bolt struck the crayon out of Elmo's left hand. 
Out of the trees came another figure, this one in bright green and dark grey, with glowing blue spikes on top of it's helmet.
The figure raised its hand, blue, arcing electricity illuminating it's face.
"Have at thee, foul monster. For I hath tracked thee from thy hiding spot to thy master's compound, and on to attack these innocents." The minifigure paused to look over the group of "innocents", seeing Lukas, his eyes widened.
"Behold, I hath tracked both of thee. The noble Knights of the Olde Speech and this foul Dark Hunter!"
With this Matthias's men were up and off to one side, trying to buckle their armor on. Two dark figures tackled them and pushed them down the nearby hill where they rolled into a 6" deep swimming area. The Noodle brothers took their seats on the lifeguard stands and started blowing loud whistles at the struggling soldiers.
Lukas and Seton stirred, for though they were heavy sleepers, whistles sometimes wake people up.
Sharpie Thunderflare, for that was the electric minifigure's name, drew a daredevil flaregun and a blue force blade, and started attacking Elmo with electric shocks and burning flares. Just then Squeaky woke up and headed down the hill to engage Mr. Noodle.
The Dark Hunter retaliated by swinging a curtain with crayon drawing all over it at Sharpie. Who easily dodged and slice the curtain in half. Then ducked under a potentially decapitating swing from a purple crayon.
And then the mods came in and said this chapter was getting too long so the action will have to wait. :P
To be continued by the next person...
@ 24-10-2012 03:04 PM, Sir Gronggringro(-eth) the 01st wrote:
Just so everyone knows, it's Sir Grongringro-eth. Joking
=== Chapter# Something-or-Other-Part-Two. ===
Squeaky arrived at the bottom of the hill, rolled into the swimming pool, and started launching potato missles at the Noodle Brothers. Laughing, Mr. Noodle sliced the missles into bits with a cardboard sword, while Mr. Noodle's Brother Mr. Noodle held out a fryer behind the sword and started making french fries. Well, at least until he got socked in the face with a potato, making him drop the boiling oil and french fries onto the soldiers, who just dodged the projectiles. Meanwhile, Sharpie was in the middle of dodging throwing crayons. Elmo, who was deflecting exploding Sharpie Markers, gave up on his tactic and wrested Sharpie to the ground. "You're losing! Heeheeheeheehee!!" yelled the Dark Hunter, swinging a crayon at the electric minifig's head. The said minifig just dodged it. But then, Elmo managed to pin Sharpie to the ground with a well aimed crayon, which stuck his blue tee-shirt to the ground. Sharpie couldn't reach his flaregun, nor his blue force blade, for they were at his waist.
He was preverbially toast.
Elmo rased his crayon to the sky. "Any last words? Oh! Wait! Hang on! Forget I ever said that. It's too cheesy. Anyway- He. Hehee. Heeheehahoohee! Ahaheehoohehahee!!! What-ha! Is-Heehoo! So-hahehohohe! FUNNY!!!! HAHAHEEHAHAHA!!!!!" Elmo rolled over on his side, nearly tickled to death by-something. A minifig was standing over him, deck out in black armor from head to toe, and holding something in his hand.
His name was Grongringro-eth.
To be continued...
@ 26-10-2012 05:06 PM, Talmid wrote:
==== Mini Chapter 1 ====
Since nobody will write a chapter, I WILL!
Mini Chapter 1
"heer barni, i haz somtig tu shows yuz!" thedude rambled to his Tyrannosaurus Rex friend.
"*gulpy laugh* Oh, what is it Master *gulpy laugh*?" Barney gurgled. thedude led him outside to his secret base's front door, and pointed to a switch next to the fake wood door, which was actually titanium painted to look like wood. "Oh boy oh boy, its a doorbell!" Barney chortled. "I love doorbells, doorbells love me, we're all a happy family-"
"shup yuz stuped dyno!" thedude yelled. "iv yuz keep siging is wil mak yuz prsse ti!"
"But shouldn't I *giggle* press it?" Barney asked.
"nwo, yuz is tu vahlooabal." thedude said. He whistled, and a bumbling Space Marauder ran up. "prsse ti buton!" thedude commanded.
"Yes master." the Space Marauder said monotonously, and pressed the doorbell.
A voice recording of thedude suddenly sounded, saying, "dis is NOHT ah scret baus! pleeze leve sum laught woords aftor da beeb! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEB!!!"
Then a large pink cloud of goo shot out from a hidden turret under the doorbell and blasted the Space Marauder, turning him into a pool of pink sludge.
"yuz lik eet?" thedude asked.
@ 29-10-2012 09:47 PM Sir Firelash the 2nd wrote:
=== Perpetual Doom — Chapter ===
Thousands upon thousands of Paradox Rogues stood in a massive hoard, with thedude pacing back and forth in front of them. He had an agitated look about him, and he couldn't think strait.
"all me awesome plans fail. why. me upset." he said distractedly. "me installified a doorbell if doomness, and no stupid knights shoe up to pressify it. why." he turned to his troops, a fiery anger in his eyes. "all troops commanded to march to king matthias land and doomify him."
The Rogues gave a mighty yell, and marched off into the distance. 
@ 02-11-2012 04:27 PM, Sir Universe the 4561st wrote:
=== Zshapter vutevar it iz, ===
Lukey saw the black knight and said, "I thank thee sir, for saving us from that evil creature. But who are ye?" "I am Sir Grongringro-eth ," said the knight ," At your service." 
Then Lukey said, "Good, we couldn't have survived that ambush if it wasn't for you. That reminds me, I think we need more knights. Its time to go put the posters." The knights and Squeaky traveled back to the castle and when they got there, Lukey, or Sir Lukas, went back to LU and started advertising. "The kingdom needs you!" He shouted, "Join the Knights of Olde Speech!"
Later, Sir Luke looked at who joined the KOTOS. "Hm, so we have Sir Dragon, Sir Fishul, Sir Ranger, and Sir Ninjaman, " murmured Lukas. Just then, Grongringro-eth came to him. " What is it Grong? " Asked Lukas.
Grongringro-eth replied, "It seems we have gotten the recruits just in time Sir, thedude's army is attacking!"
Lukas turned his head and saw the army of paradox. Then he shouted, "Charrrge!!!!!!"
To be cont'
@ 30-11-2012 03:59 PM, Sir FFFFFPlayer wrote:
=== Chapter (I decided to name this chapter) 825: The Battle Part 1 ===
        Sir Lukey was watching the Paradox Rogues that were marching towards the walls of the castle. Sir Sharpie and Grongringro-eth were with him as well as a group of archers that had been given to them by King Mathias. The outer wall of the town had fell and their last hope was that the Rogues would be stopped there. Worried citizens had filled the castle and King Mathias was being stopped to watch the battle by them who were constantly complaining. The Rogues had stopped to robber houses, but were now coming again. Then, suddenly the whole wall was shaken by bomb sent by a catapult. The battle had started again.
        “ARCHERS READY!” Lukey shouted and all the archers took arrows from their quiver and stretched the horde of their bows. “FIRE!” Dozens of arrows were launched and many hit Rogues. However, no matter how many times they launched arrows the Renegades were unstoppable and reached the wall.
        “Sir Sharpie and Sir Grongringro-eth! I must leave to go to the gate. Stay here to help the archers and throw any latter put by the Paradox Rogues!” Lukas said and left.
        In front of the gate Legoboy and Seton were waiting as well as some possibly future Knights of the Olde Speech and some Knights of the Kingdom. Lukas said to Seton to go and gather as many men as he could and hide in the dining room which was next to the main hallway, so they could attack to the Rogues while they didn’t expect that if they entered the castle. Then, he said to certain Knights to go at the right of the gate, to some to go left and to some to go in front of it to push in case the Rogues tried to break through it. Finally, he asked for some men to volunteer to come with him at the back of the hall to become bait. Legoboy and five Knights came with him. One of them wore chain armour and a helm that was hiding his face. That one didn’t speak, but the other four said their names, which were Skilled Honoured Ninjago Builderson, Ninja of Lava, Hycra and Creepybooks. They were all from the possible KotOS.
       Then, suddenly: BAAAM!!! The whole place was shaken by the battering ram. BAAAM!!! They hit again. The Knights at the gate started pushing it, but they couldn’t stop the gate from staring to crack after the third hit. Screams were heard from outside, probably from the Rogues that on whom hot tar had fallen. For a minute that seemed to last a millennium nothing happened. Then, the Rogues hit again with more anger and the gate broke. The Renegades got in and seeing only the 7 Knights and the unconscious bodies of the Knights that were pushing the gate laughed at them. However, this laughter cost the life of loads of them, because the 7 Knights had attacked before they could realize it. Then, the Knights that were at the left and the right of the gateway, who were hidden by the leaves of the gate charged, too and the Rogues were circled.
       An incredible fight took place then. Sir Lukas fought with three of them at the same time. Creepybooks smashed the one that was holding their flag. Legoboy saved Hycra’s life when five huge Renegades fell on him altogether and they’ve been good friends since then. Skill (Ninjago Builders) lost his weapons and continued smashing with his bare hands and feet. Ninja of Lava smashed four of them with one hit. The Knight with chain armour smashed the Shinobi Rogue that was leading them. However, he was hit badly on the shoulder. After he had finished with the three Rogues, Lukey ran to him immediately, smashed a Rogue with a hammer that was standing to above him and then he realized why he hadn’t talked before. The Rogue with the hammer had smashed the helm of his… but it wasn’t his. It was her. The Knight’s name was Ruby and she had concealed her identity, because she loved fighting.
        However, while Lukey was trying to stop Ruby’s bleeding the circle of the Knights was broken and until it was fixed again about a hundred Rogues had passed.
         And now let’s go some time before and see what Sir Seton had done. After he had found about 50 men that had weapons and occasionally armour and volunteered to fight he had, instead of going to the dining room instantly, taken with the help of his men two wagons and put them as an obstacle in the hallway. They made some holes on it and Seton left 5 men with bows there. When the Rogues reached there the archers started launching arrows at them. Until both wagons had been smashed, about twenty of them had been deadly hit. Then, the archers ran towards the throne room, but only two of them made it there. And when the Rogues reached the door of the dining room, the men got out and attacked. Due to the surprise many Rogues fell easily. But when the Rogues were organized again the men of Seton started losing. And that would have happened if Sharpie, Grongringro-eth and the archers from the wall, who had run out of arrows, hadn’t appeared and saved them.
        When all the Rogues were smashed they went to the hall where the battle was still going on. And the Rogues afraid, because they believed that those who had passed would just reach the throne room and defeat the King, started fleeing. So, after sunset no Renegades were there and everyone celebrated. Everyone except for Legoboy, Seton, Sharpie and Grongringro-eth, because they were looking for Lukey. In the end they found him among the pieces of the smashed minifigures. He had been hit by an arrow on the hand. But this arrow was poisonous. . .
@ 07-12-2012 08:12 PM, Sir Universe the 4561st wrote:
=== Chapter 22? ===
"Doctor! We need a doctor!!" Yelled Seton as he rushed out of the hallway. Sir Sharpie found a white cloth and started to bandage LUkas' injured hand. "You're gonna be okay, "He told Sir Lukas. A while later Seton came back with a doctor while Sir Lukas was sitting on a chair. As the doctor checked on  him, Sharpie and Seton went out of the room. "I think we should mount an attack on thedude's fortess and rescue Thingguy and the others, "Sharpie said.  the kinghts journey to thedude's lair. Then Sir Legoboy shouted, "Attack!!" The four knights charged, Lukas held his sword in his good hand. They stormed into thedude's base and saw nobody. But all of a sudden!! "Oh boy oh boy this is gonna be great!" barney came out of the shadows with a little dagger. "Ha! You really think you can stop us with that dagger?" Challenged Legoboy. Seton ran toward Barney while the others went to the dungeon
@ 09-12-2012 02:50 PM, Sir EthanWS wrote:
=== CHAPTER 20-maybe ===
___
While all the events of chapters previously mentioned were happening, Talmid, Thingguy, and Jonna finished their pizza and ate the gummy worms.
THE END
Wait, you really thought I was serious?
They ate the rest of their food quietly, thinking about how awkward that silence was.
Suddenly, Talmid spoke: "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm getting out of here." He stood up and walked over to the door.
He reached out and opened the door, without any trouble from the lock.
Thingguy took a step back. Jonna screamed. If Seton were there he would've fainted.
"How did you do that?!" Jonna shrieked.
"I'm immune." Talmid replied cooly. "Actually, Walter didn't lock the door after he came back for those doughnuts."
The trio walked out of the room and picked up their weapons at the door, noticing there was no one there. Except, of course, the Sith walking around and Bruce the shark, who was on a wagon.
"This is creepy." Thingguy muttered.
"Tell me about it." Darth Vader said, as the Imperial March started playing.
Then Jawas jumped out of a cave and fried Artoo. Wait, different reality.
Anyway, they made their way to thedude's office and waded through papers with secret plans written on them But they were looking for one thing in particular.
And then they found it; the floor. Wait, that's my reality. Anyway, they found the window overlooking thedude's personal cloning facility.
The found some random C4 lying around and blew the cloning facility up, then proceeded to the hangar .
----
When they got there, they found the place deserted, as always. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
But of course the term "creature" doesn't encompass maintenance droids. The place was swarming with them; they were all walking around like they had something important to do. 
The droids ignored the knights and lady as they walked to the only ship there; a two-pilot ship.
As soon as they entered to cockpit, the droids all climbed in and all 53 of them were squished into that tiny cockpit.
They took off for King Mathias's castle.
---
@ 10-12-2012 12:41 AM, Sir Talmid wrote:
=== Chaptah teh 21st ===
Barney picked up a picture of Talmid and Seton fainted, so Legoboy took his place and dueled the evil T-Rex that Barney the Menacing Purple Dinosuar was, while Luke and the quickly revived Seton charged into the base and tore it apart, searching for anything and everything that could be a dungeon.
That's when a loud roar of an engine filled the room, and Luke and Seton gaped out the window as a small two-seater starfighter took off in the direction of King Mathias's castle.
"Thedude hath escaped!" Seton wailed before fainting.  Determined, Luke gripped his fellow knight and hauled him outside to face the army, who were watching Legoboy and Barney fight.
"Our enemy hath escaped and is going to the castle!" Luke announced. "We must make haste to return immediatly!"
Seton woke up, and Legoboy gave his sword a final twisting motion that sent Barney's little dagger soaring into a tree.  Seton and Legoboy handcuffed Barney and he became their prisoner.  Then all the knights were ready to go.
"Wait!" Luke called. "Where is Sir Sharp?!"
"I art here!" Sharp exclaimed, stepping into their view from a hill. "And I hath brought reinforcements!"
To Luke's, Seton's, and Legoboy's jaw dropping surprise, several knights stepped up from behind Sharp. "Who are these?" Luke asked in surprise.
"The Knights of the Old Speech!" Sharp yelled.
Then another minifig stepped out of the shadows.  It was the evil Vladek The Evil!  He was holding a Gattling gun, and taking aim at Sir Sharp, he unleashed a storm of firepower at the Knight!  Sir Sharp was smashed!
Instantly all the Knights charged Vladek, and jumped on him.  Vladek was very outnumbered, but he resisted.  He was going to go down, but not without taking more knights!
...
"ahah ahhah hah ! ! " a voice chanted, and Talmid, Thingguy, and Jonna facepalmed amidst 50 droids in the cockpit.  Except they were not droids!  They were thedude and his army in disguise!
TO BE CONTINUED
@ 10-12-2012 02:39 PM, Sir FFFFFPlayer wrote:
=== Chapter 22 he thinks: The Peculiar Enchanter ===
        “Atak!!!” thedude shouted and the Paradox Rogues now revealing their identity charged at them. The two Knights and the Lady started fighting and now Thingguy knew that it had been worth teaching Jonna the art of the sword. However, they would need something more to beat 53 Renegades...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
        Vladek was fighting with no mercy and many had fallen by his sword. However, when he looked around to find his next victim, he realised there were no allies nearby. He was surrounded by three of the Knights of the Olde Speech, the ones known as Luke, Seton and Sharpie, and five Morcian soldiers.
         This is going to be an easy fight, he thought and lunged at them. Two of the footmen, far outmatched by the dark knight, charged forward and were struck down. A strange side effect was that they started talking exactly like thedude.
        “NOOO!!!” the others shouted, being friends with the fallen and during their distraction they were beaten as well. Now, only the three Knights were left standing. Vladek doubted that the they would fare any better. However, to his surprise his strike at the knight who was known as Luke was blocked and followed by a counter-attack on the abdomen.
         Angered by the injury, Vladek, dodged the second Knight's attack and retaliated with such force that Seton's sword was shattered to pieces. The Knight fainted.
        Without Seton, Lukey and Sir Sharp found it difficult to defend themselves. It was all they could do to avoid serious wounds, but they couldn't go into the offensive at all. Block after block, dodge after dodge, the two Knights were left more and more tired. They would not be able to hold on much longer. Just in the nick of time though, Hycra and Legoboy arrived and performed a surprise attack. Vladek couldn't defend himself in time and was pushed to the ground. Seeing he was at a disadvantage, he was quick in changing tactics. 
        "I surrender", he spoke although his eyes had an impenitent, proud look about them. 
        "I guess King Matthias will be the one to decide your fate", Sir Luke replied. "Someone tie him up".         
        With their leader captured, what remained of thedude's army was quick to flee. The battle won, the Knights went on to attend to the business they were left with. Sharp reorganised the soliders and supervised them as they made camp and Luke tried to wake Seton up. Hycra and Legoboy went looking for Talmid, Thingguy and Jonna.
        However, halfway through the preparations Sharpie noticed something odd. A house had appeared from nowhere. He was sure it wasn’t there before for it was in the middle of the battlefield. Curious and concerned, he told Luke and together they decided to explore.
        It wasn’t big. It was rather small actually and mostly made of wood. It had a triangular roof and a chimney from which smoke was coming out. There was a sign on the door, reading “Please, come in! I’m having Procfroc!” Lukey and Sharpie exchanged glances before pushing the door. It opened. They entered.
        The interior was very odd. It was a room much bigger than the house seemed to be and was full of sculptures of Squirrels. There were nine doors, including the one from which they had got in, seven windows, three tables and one chair.
         “HELLO!” a minifigure that was on the ceiling right above them said scaring them. He had brown really messy hair, hazel eyes and was wearing blue robes.
        “Who’re you?!” Sharp asked.
        “Who’re you?!” the minifigure replied swiftly.
        “Who’re you?!”
        “Who’re you?!”
        “I asked first!”
        “Well, you are the ones who invaded my house!!!”
        “It had a sign saying ‘Please, come in! I’m having Procfroc!’ What’s Procfroc anyway?!”
        “It’s a mixture of mashed ice-scream, fish, chocolate and banana! Want some?”
        “No, thank you!” Lukey declined frowning in repulsion.
“I should have changed the sign to ‘I’ll transform you to Squirrel Sculptures!’ Well anyway, I’ll make an exception for you and not transform you into Squirrel Sculptures, Sir Sharp and Sir Lukey”
“How do you know our names?!” Sharp asked frightened.
“Well, do you really think that just because you did not reveal your names, it is enough so that you may hide your identities from me?”
“Who are you anyway?” Lukey enquired.
“I go by many names. Nexus Force people know me as Strange Odd Shadow, I think!” the minifigure informed Luke “But here I’m known as Wiz Ardon, Wanted in 6 different kingdoms Dead or Alive”.
“And why are you wanted?” Sharp asked worried and with a hand discreetly placed on the hilt of his sword.
“Because I use magic”.
“So, you’re a wizard?” Sharp was surprised.
“NOOO! That’s so insulting! How can you decry me in such a way?! I’m an Enchanter!!! That is quite different to being a wizard, you should know!”
“Ah, okay!” Sharp's grip on his weapon tightened.
“Would you like some tea?” Shadow suddenly shifted into a friendly demeanour.
“Yes, please” Lukey accepted, worried the enchanter might get angry again.
“WELL, I DON’T!!! I HATE TEA!!!” the Peculiar Enchanter screamed, his face deformed by his manic rage. Then, a moment later, he smiled “I’ll bring you some hot chocolate!”
He went to one of the doors and opened it. A bright intense orange light came from the other room.
“NO, not the fire room!!!” he said and quickly closed the door. He opened it again and now there was no light. Only complete darkness. A roar was heard from there, like if there was a dragon inside.
“No, not the Creatures that could kill you room either!”
He closed and opened the door again. Now there was a dim blue light coming from the room.
“Oh! Here’s the kitchen!” he said and got in.
“I think we should leave!” Sharp told Lukey “This guy is nuts!!!”
“You’re right. Let’s get out of here!” Lukey responded.
However, no sooner had they reached the door, Shadow returned from the kitchen. Or did he? The man who had come out had white long hair and a white long beard. His robes were purple. And yet he looked very much like Shadow, if he was sixty years older.
“Oh, I hope you won’t leave now!” he said, talking as if he'd met them already- perhaps he was Shadow after all- “This hot chocolate was made exclusively for you. If you leave no one will drink it and it will be disappointed!”
“No! No. Of course not”, Lukey said even as Sharp was taking hold of the door knob. The latter gave a deadly glare to the former, but stayed nonetheless, mumbling something about the fastest chocolate brewing in history.
“Great!” Shadow served the beverages and Sharp drank a little. He immediately felt like his mouth was on fire. He opened it and actual flames came out.
“What the brick?! What is this?” he asked while Luke fell victim to the chocolate as well.
“Why make it hot, if it isn’t really hot”, Wiz answered and then drank his at one gulp “Now, tell me what's your opinion on magic?”
“Ahhh. We're pretty... neutral about it I-” Lukey spoke, but was quickly interrupted by Shadow “Good enough for me! I’ll help you with your problems!”
“What problems?” asked Sharp, suspicious.
“Well, it’s obvious from the colour and shape of your moles that you are facing trouble. Plus, there’s a friend of yours out there that looks concerned about something” He pointed to one of the windows, out of which Seton was standing, examining the house.
“We should see what he wants”, Sharp said.
“Wait for me!” Shadow told them and walked to another door. After trying it a few times, he went in and came back out with a sword and a wooden staff in his hands. His robes had been replaced by brown set of armour.
The Knights were a tad perplexed by this, but they didn't dwell on it. This was no time to be minding the antics of an eccentric wizard -well, enchanter. Instead, they walked out of the house and met with Seton
“A carrier pigeon came from the capital. A spaceship full of Paradox Rogues landed nearby! Talmid, Thingguy and Jonna were sighted as well. thedude is leading the attack!”. . .
@ 11-01-2013 05:32 PM  Ninjago-Builders Wrote:
=== Chapter…(Insert random number here. We’ll make that the chapter number) Let’s say, 22. :P Chapter 22: Help wanted. ===
King Mathias’s men had finished off the last of the Paradox Rouges; but at a cost. Many men had been lost that day. Lifeless armor lay scattered across the battle field, and riderless horses limped back to their stables, alone. Maelstrom fog drifted across the hills. The remaining men wearily stumbled back to the castle, gasping for breath. King Mathias turned toward one of the men coming back, and asked him two words.
“What happened?”
The man replied between gasping breaths,
“None of us stood a chance. There were too many of them. We couldn’t hold them all off. Their power was too great.”
“Whose power?” King Mathias asked. “Tell me, I need to know. This is urgent.”
“It was the power…the power…of the Red Mythrans.”
Meanwhile, somewhere else, Sir Talmid, Sir Thingguy, and Sir Lucas were sitting at the KOTOS headquarters. They were debating what they should do.
“We need more Knights,” Thingguy was saying. “We have many possible recruits, but we haven’t actually tested any of them. We must create a test to filter out who we can trust.”
“I agree,” Lucas said.
“As do I.”
“Then it is decided, tomorrow, we shall begin, THE TEST!”
With the rising of the sun, they were up preparing the test. Sir. Thingguy was setting up tents and other things needed for the test, Sir. Lucas was setting up posters and gathering in the possible knights they had found, and Sir. Talmid was organizing and numbering the tests and challenges. After the preparations were completed, minifigures of all types started filtering in. Ninjas, Pirates, Random clown Dudes, all came in to see if they could pass…THE TEST! A random Paradox person came in and yelled “We paradox shall not stoop so low as to become a knight!” The founders ignored him, and continued with… THE TEST!
The first contestant was a Knight named Legoboy. He walked forward and handed the founders a slip of paper containing his name, why he wanted to join, and other questions. “So,” Talmid read out loud, “thy name is Legoboy. Alright, we will put you through THE TEST! So, to join, you must first say a complete sentence in Olde Speech.”
“Um, alight, good nights, I would like to join thy magnificent group.”
“Pretty good. Thou hast passed the entry test. Thou art in! Congratulations!”
“That was not as difficult as I had feared it would be,” Legoboy said.
A large, menacing looking Minifigure walked up. “Yeh, I know I’ll easily crush any tests you guys try to give me. Bring it on. My name is Bob the Slob.”
“Thou hast to translate into proper English your appeal to join this noble group of Knights.”
“Um, sure, of course I’d like a burrito.”
“Unfortunately, that is not the correct answer that shall allow thee to pass. Thou hast not presented the proper skills to join this here gathering.”
“Can I have my burrito now?”
“This group does not serve burritos, rather, Meat Pie.”
“I think I’ll go somewhere where people don’t talk like weirdoes.”
Lucas cut in. “We do not talk like thy so called ‘weirdoes.” Instead, we talk in the magnificent tongue of Olde Speech.”
“These guys really are weirdoes.” He walked off.
“Next!” Called out Talmid.
A minifigure in a large clown costume came bopping up in giant clown feet.
“Hey! Hello, I am Sir. Sharp, taker of Dares, and Daredevil of lightning. I heard that all possible knights were to gather here for some kind of test.”
“What is that outrageous costume thou art wearing?” Lucas cried out. “It looks as if your nose has been inflated with a high power air compressor.”
“Oh, this?” The Daredevil said. “This is just an avatar dare. Take no notice of it. Anyway, what’s the test?”
“The first part of…THE TEST! is to take off that ridiculous costume.”
Sharpie looked shocked, as if the lightning inside him had suddenly gone out of control. “But…but then I’ll lose the dare.”
“Just one dare shall not hurt.”
“Just one dare?” Sharpie shouted. “JUST ONE DARE?!?!? I have never, ever, lost a dare in the history of minifigure kind, in all 66,379 dares I have taken I have never, ever, let up. And you ask me to break my record now?!?!”
“Alright, alright, I get the picture, but you cannot join the Knights with such an outrageous outfit. Thy art supposed to wear shining armor and wield a glittering sword.”
“Then I’ll put on the armor over my clown costume. I can’t lose this dare. It’s the biggest one yet.”
“But putting the armor over the costume shall become very tiresome and thou shalt grow weary of the layers baking you inside them.”
“I’ll do it.”
“Alright, thy still must do is to pass…THE TEST!”
“Isn’t that a bit extreme?” Sharpie asked.
“What, that you must pass a test?”
“No, that you put “The Test,” in capitals.”
“Hey, it’s good for dramatics.” Talmid explained.
“Well, anyway,” Sir. Sharpie continued. “Here it goes. I, Sir Sharpie, Taker of Dares and Daredevil of Lightning, wish to join ye, and thy magnificent group.”
“Thou art in!”
“Wow, that was easy.”
“The difficulty of…THE TEST! depends on the intellectual abilities of a person’s vocal processors.”
“Um, ok.” Sharpie walked into the tent where all the knights who passed…THE TEST! stayed.
potential knights started filing up. Some of them showed potential, others…well, let’s just say they didn’t. But slowly the Knights of the Olde Speech were gaining members. A minifigure in shining blue armor with a high-tech helmet walked up.
“Good Sirs,” said he. “I should like to join thy group of noble knights. Will thee let a minifig such as myself join they noble ranks?”
“Of course,” Talmid replied. “Thou hast already shown thyself worthy to be a knight by uttering thy sentence in the noble tongue of Olde Speech. Could thy tell us what thee art called by your parents,so that we may be able to properly address you?”
“My name, is SkilledHonoredNinjagoBuilderson,” the minifig proclaimed.
And that is how, the awesome, epic, noble, epic, knightly, epic, chivalrous, epic, friendly, and all around epic SkilledHonoredNinjagoBuilderson joined the Knights of the Olde Speach. 
The attack came at midnight. The night had been quiet, without any incident. Until now. The sentry was stationed at the northern wing of King Mathias’s castle. The night was colder than usual. As the biting wind slised at the sentry's face, he wrapped his cloak closer around him, trying, in vain, to stay warm. He heard a noise down below the walls. It sounded like a twig snapping. As he peered down in the direction it came from, a flash of movement caught his eye. He strained his to see what it was. That was when it came. A blinding flash of red light. A muffled cry. The guard fell down, never again to rise. The Red Mythrans were attacking.
Sir Talmid, Sir Thingguy, and Sir Lucas were inside their tent, discussing the new recruits. That was when the messenger pigeon flew in through the window. The letter was short, but urgant: "We are under attack. We can’t hold out. It is the Red Mythrans." The founders knew what they had to do.
They gathered together the knights that had joined the KOTOS. The Founders stood up and faced the new recruits.
“Today, King Mathias and his castle was attacked, by the evil Dude and his minions. We shall not let him prevail. Today, we ride to the castle. Today, we fight!”
End of Chapter 22.
@ 05-03-2013 07:40 PM, Owslafa Wrote:
=== Chapter 23 ===
Excited by the epic speech, all of the Knights ran out of the tents and jumped onto their horses, riding off into the moonlit night.  Sirs Talmid and Thingguy were at the front of the group, yelling war cries.  Trees whipped by as they all encouraged their horses to go faster.  Looking ahead, Sir Talmid observed an approaching shadow in the path.  "Strange," he muttered.  "It's a full moon out.  There must be something making a shadow, but I can't see anything..."  Realization hit him like a lightning bolt.  Pulling up short, he cried out, "Ambush!  Everyone, ready your arms!"  Sir Lucas edged his horse through the group up next to Sir Talmid's.  "My arms are tired from holding the reins.  Why do I need to get them ready?"  Wordlessly, Talmid pointed at the shadow, which was rapidly drawing closer to the party.  "Oh."
Sir SkilledHonoredNinjagoBuilderson (who from henceforth shall be known as "Sir SHNB" to preserve the sanity of the writer) flipped down the visor of his high-tech helmet and scanned the shadow.  "My lords, there is something very strange about that... thing.  It's composed of strange and irregular materials, and, according to thermal sensors, is in the shape of a dinosaur.  I can't really explain..."  "I can." Sir Thingguy's face grew pale.  "It's Barney."
A new recruit named Sir Fishul ran forward, exclaiming, "You're going down, dinosaur!"  Instantly, he flew up into the air and into the nearby woods.  An eerily cheerful chuckle rustled through the forest, chilling the bones of the Knights.  "There's only one thing to do."  Sir Talmid's face was set hard.  "We must charge!  Ready the glow spray!"  Three Knights stepped forward carrying intimidating weapons filled with neon green paint.  Adjusting their sights relative to the shadow, they fired.  The paint covered Barney from head to tail tip, and he showed up in the night like a giraffe in a flower garden.  The cavalcade of Knights roared forward, spears and swords down.
Barney's invisible eyes were filled with fear as he turned and rushed through the woods, leaving the road clear.  All of the Knights cheered to see their foe flee, but their leaders silenced them quickly.  "We must press on.  King Matthias's castle shouldn't be too far from here."  True enough, as they turned a corner in the road, they could see the massive walls of stone ahead.  They could also see siege towers rolling up to the walls, filled to the brim with glowing red warriors.  Sir Sharpie spoke up, "So, what's the plan?"  Sir Thingguy replied, "Well, so far the plan is, 'Defeat the Dude'.  We didn't really think this far ahead."  An evil voice sounded behind them, "i did.  And yu not planing this far ahed was part of mi plan."  The entire company whirled around to see TehDude and about two hundred Red Mythrans blocking the path behind them.
Far behind the Red Mythrans, Sir Fishul stumbled out of the shrubbery, rubbing his head.  "Whose plan was it to put a giant tree right where I was flying through the air?" he mumbled to himself.  Looking around, he noticed the lack of fellow Knights.  "Oh great.  And my horse left too."  Muttering complaints and plans to get a more loyal horse, he started walking down the path with the vague hope of reuniting with his friends.  As he rounded the curve, he stopped short.  Between him and the Knights stood a bunch of Red Mythrans, all with their backs to him.  Sir Fishul, after a few moments of contemplation, ran off into the forest and returned carrying a long vine.  Unnoticed by all of the Red Mythrans, he tied both ends of the vine to trees on opposite ends of the path and placed a large boulder on the center of the vine.  Pulling down on it, the trees started to bend forward.  Once the vine touched the ground, Fishul released it, catapulting it into the air.  Moments later, its slightly-angled trajectory carried it straight down into the mass of foes.
End of Chapter 23
@ 12-03-2013 04:09 PM, Sir FFFFPlayer wrote:
=== Chapter XXIV (bringing back the Latin number chapter numbering system): FIGHT!!! Part 1 ===
          “DESTROY THEDUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!”
        Hearing the voice, Barney the Dinosaur raised his head towards the sky, as everyone else did. A minifigure, Sir Fishul was flying in the air coming towards the army of the Red Mythrans! As he got closer, it became obvious that he would fall onto thedude smashing him. However, thedude moved a little to his right and Fishul fell onto the ground instead!!!
Epic Fail Number 1
        “Hahehu!!! U wud think to smas Ai!!! Yur is so stoupids!!!Hahehuhihahehuhihahehuhi!!!” thedude said probably mocking him, though no one really understood what he said. Realizing he was laughing at Fishul, the whole army started laughing, too!
        “Thou will pay for thy horrible actions, thedude!!!” Sir Sharp said and left the army of the Knights of the Olde Speech and the Knights of the Courtyard and approached the army of thedude.
        “Let’s fight! One against one!” Sir Sharp challenged him throwing his glove in front of thedude.
        “Chalenj axepting!” thedude answered picking up the glove.
        They both drew their swords while a lightning lightened the sky. It started raining, because in all dramatic scenes raining is a must. The two enemies started attacking and blocking, but suddenly... A lightning hit Sharpie. And even the daredevil of lightning at least passes out when a lightning hits him.
Epic Fail Number 2
Part 2
        That was the sign for the rest of the Knights to attack. So, as thedude was applauding himself and bragging he didn’t realize he got surrounded by Knights. The battle had started. Sir Skilled Honoured Ninjago Builderson distinguished left the crowd to face thedude.
        However, being unready and therefore unable to protect himself from the incoming attack of Sir SHNB, thedude shouted: “POSONUS SNEK!!!” Then, he pointed to the space behind the Knight.
        However, SHNB did not understand, so he asked “What?!”
        However, as his guard went down for a second thedude punched him and he blacked out, too.
Epic Fail Number 3
        The Knights of the Olde Speech were perpetually doomed to fail epicly. . .
@ 19-04-2013 03:59 PM, Sir Owslafa wrote:
=== Chapter XXV ===
Sir Thingguy protected the senseless form of Sir SHNB as the rest of the Knights closed in, determined to defeat their nemesis, even if it cost them their lives.  What they had failed to realise was that Barney, recently emerged from the woods, had coordinated the Red Mythrans into a flanking maneuver behind the knights.  Suddenly, another bolt of lightining lit up the scene, making the situation painfully obvious.  "Sir Fishul, dost thou think thou couldst catapult thyself again?" Talmid cried out.  "KINDA BUSY!!"  Fishul replied, as the wrathful Barney sat on his chest.  TehDude was in a paroxysm of maniacal laughter, which irritated the Knights to no end.
Will the Knights defeat Barney and TehDude?  Or will these evil maligners of language become victorious?  And will Owslafa ever get over the fear of seeming self-inflating and include himself in the story?  Find out when we return!
19-04-2013 07:06 PM Sir grongringro01 -(eth) wrote:
=== Chapter XXVI ===
Sir SHNB woke up to the sound of insanely painful laugher. Pain was radiating in his face. He opened his eyes, grunted, and saw the heel of Sir Talmid's boot closing in on his face. He screamed, got hit with the boot, and passed out again.
   Talmid was having the fight of his life. Tehdood may have been quite the fatso, but underneath all that flabiness there must have been some serious muscle, for Talmid was been driven back faster than he could parry tehdude's hits. He was getting closer and closer to Sir SHNB, and after a bit, he barely had time to realize he was almost right on top of SHNB. Suddenly, thedud thrusted his sword straght at Talmid's chest. The brave knight stepped on SNHB's face. A scream from his comrade distracted Sir Talmid, and he didn't notice thedude's sword swinging at his midsection...
The blade hit home...
Talmid's eyes turned red...
A final thought raced through his head...
What happened?
im nto telig
What happened? Tell m-
dun. Dun. DUUUUUNNN!!!!
@ 28-04-2013 04:19 PM Sir FFFFFPlayer1 wrote:
=== Chapter XXVII: Doom ===
        “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” the cry of agony of Sir Talmid was heard all over the battlefield. Everyone looked towards him and silence prevailed. Everyone had stopped doing anything just to stare at the fallen leader of the KotOS. Even thedude was surprised by that. All the KotOS felt their hope leaving them. However, soon the Red Mythrans would start fighting again and that would be the destruction of the Knight Army.
        Yet, something prevented this from happening. The sound of an arrow flying was heard and then thedude fell on the ground. However, he didn’t smash, bleed or do anything a normal minifigure would do when hit by an arrow. On the contrary, he just disappeared and the only thing that stayed was the arrow that had hit him.
        Everyone looked at the direction from which the arrow had come and saw Sir Thingguy grabbing a bow. He then shouted: “NOT TALMID, YOU MONSTER!!!”
        Normally, an army of about 180 Red Mythrans (some of them were smashed) could deal with the Knight Army. However, Red Mythrans are not at all brave. So, watching their leader fall, made them flee towards all directions. The KotOS all cheered and started chasing the running Red Mythrans. Sir Lukas stayed to see in what state Talmid was. However, Thingguy did not move from his position. He kept staring at the spot where thedude was previously standing with a suspicious look. Something strange had happened. It wasn’t normal that thedude’s body had just vanished like that; and Strange Odd Shadow, the peculiar enchanter saw where he was looking at...
- - - - - - -
King Mattias was sitting on his throne at the Throne Hall of his castle. They had barely managed to defeat the attacking army and now citizens were coming and were reporting to him -although it actually seemed more like complaining about the destructions the battles had brought about. Then, a guard came pushing the people that were waiting at the queue, making them complain about how they were treated.
“What happened?” asked the king worried.
“Some Knights just came bringing a very important prisoner, your Majesty!” the guard responded.
“Who is the prisoner?” Mattias kept asking to learn the whole story.
“Lord Vladek, your Majesty!” the guard replied.
“LORD VLADEK! And what do you wait?! Put him in the worst cage we have!” Mattias answered with mixed feelings of joy and anger.
“Yes, your Majesty!!!” said the guard and left.
The people started discussing about this, but the king requested silence to listen to the rest of the “reports”. Yet, not much time had passed until another man came. This time he was no guard, but actually a soldier.
“Who are you?” the king asked with concern.
“Nuncius, your Majesty! From the sixth battalion of the North, your Majesty!” the soldier responded.
“And why are you here?” Mattias inquired.
“They sent me as a messenger, your Majesty!” the soldier replied.
“Don’t they have any carrier pigeons in the North?” the king wondered out loud.
“They were scared away, your Majesty!”
“By whom? Tell me your message!”
“By the Aquilones, your Majesty! They crossed the northern borders and crashed our army there! People are in panic! They’ve sent me to ask you what to do, your Majesty!”
“THE AQUILONES!!! WE HAD A PACT OF NOT ATTACKING EACH OTHER!!! Leave! All of you! This needs thinking!”...
- - - - - - - - - 
     Sir Thingguy was thinking while riding Deadbeat, who was trotting. After their victory against the Red Mythrans, the Knights had chased them for some hours, but they soon had been called to continue their travel towards the castle. Then, two days after the battle they were halfway there. Sir Talmid was still unconscious.
     However, Thingguy wasn’t thinking about him. He troubled mostly Sir Lukas and generally the rest of the Knights. What troubled Thingguy was the vanishing of thedude. He couldn’t believe that it was real. And then suddenly, he heard a voice, which dragged him out of his thoughts: “He was an illusion!”
     “What?!” Thingguy asked as he turned his head to see who had spoken. It was Shadow, the Peculiar Enchanter.
     “Thedude we fought the day before yesterday was an illusion. That’s why he vanished” Shadow answered.
     Thingguy thought of several questions at once. The one that prevailed was: “Who are you? Are you a Knight of the Olde Speech?”
     Lukas, who noticed they were discussing replied instead of Shadow: “He is Strange Odd Shadow, or just Shadow! He’s an enchanter”
     While Shadow was nodding, Lukas approached Thingguy and whispered: “He may be a little crazy or at least moody!”
     “Then, why did you bring him here?” Thingguy enquired also whispering.
     “He followed us! We didn’t have a choice!” Lukas responded.
     “Are you saying that Talmid was beaten by an illusion?” Thingguy asked Shadow not whispering anymore.
     “Of course! Actually, I believe this was more likely than being beaten by thedude himself. I always thought of him as a useless fighter. He always has others fight instead of him” Shadow told him.
        “Do you know thedude?” Lukas asked.
        “I’ve met him once and heard about him a lot” the Enchanter said.
        “But if thedude was an illusion, hoe did he even touch Talmid or Sir Skilled Honoured Ninjago Builderson?” Thingguy wondered.
        “When one believes a magical illusion to be real, then its effects become real” Shadow explained.
        “But in that way they could just create a whole army which would be an illusion!” Lukas said terrified by that fact.
        “Of course, if they have a strong enough enchanter. Yet, even the best enchanters find this difficult. So, don’t worry!”
        Neither Thingguy nor Lukas responded to that. They needed to think what the enchanter had told them...
- - - - - - - - -
        “WHAAAAAT???!!!” King Mattias shouted “WHAT THE BRICK COULD THAT BRICKY VLADEK WANT ME FOR???!!!”
        The guards, shocked by the so inappropriate for a king expressions, didn’t answer immediately.
        “We don’t know, your Majesty! He just asked to meet you, your Majesty!” said the guard that was on the front.
        “Lead me to him!” the king ordered regaining his composure.
        They left the Throne Hall and after walking through many hallways, they reached the dungeons of the castle. There, in the deepest in the earth cell Vladek was waiting.
        “Hello, my Lord! I was expecting you!” he said.
        “What do you want Vladek?!” Mattias inquired impatiently.
        “Why are you so angry, your Majesty?!” responded Vladek pretending to be insulted “I just want to help you!”
        “Yeah, right! Some days ago you wanted to destroy us and now you want to help! For some reason I don’t believe you!” Mattias told him.
        “Your Majesty, after being beaten by your army, I realized that you are the greatest King! And I know that when you find the greatest King you must truckle to him” Vladek explained.
        “I had enough of this nonsense! I am leaving!” exclaimed the king angrily.
        “That’s a shame! And I was ready to offer you help with the Aquilones!” said Vladek smiling.
        The King stopped and turned around.                      
        “What do you know about that?” asked the King surprised.
        “Everything! The news are spreading fast even in prison!” Vladek answered self-complacently.
        The king didn’t say anything, but didn’t leave either. He was very surprised, but also curious. Since Mattias wasn’t speaking Vladek talked:
        “You mustn’t wait them to come here and siege your castle. It has been very weakened by all these battles and they will get in, before you realize it. You must go to open battle against them. That will surprise them and you will give them a lesson. They must pay for what they did!” Vladek said.
        “That’s enough Vladek. You can’t deceive me! And I thought for one second you might actually propose something that would help!” the King said and left. However, Vladek smiled evilly and the words of the King did not disappoint him.
        However, the words of Vladek kept bothering the King’s mind for much until he told to one of his generals:
        “GeneralDux! Prepare the army for battle. They will ride to the North!”
        “Your Majesty, surely you don’t trust Lord Vladek!” the general asked.
        “Of course not, Dux! But his words had some truth in them. We must teach Aquilones a lesson!”
        “But in that way we’ll leave the castle without army!”
        “General, you’ve heard of the victory of the Knights of the Olde Speech against thedude two days ago! Thedude is probably smashed and even if his army keeps working without him, they need many days to gather again and even more days to find the courage to attack again”
        “But-”
        “I want no buts! Just do this!”…
- - - - - - - - - - 
        Two more days passed and the Knights now could see the Castle. It was night and midnight had passed a lot time ago. The army wanted to rest, but Sir Thingguy, who had a bad feeling, had made them gallop all night to reach the castle faster.
        The castle seemed to become bigger and bigger as they approached it. A sunbeam lighted them as a little part of the sun appeared behind the far mountains. Sir Lukas looked at the horse next to him that carried the unconscious Sir Talmid.
        “Don’t worry buddy! Soon we’ll reach the castle and there you will get better than you were before!” he said.
        Sunshine was becoming brighter and brighter. However, when they finally reached the gate of the Castle there was still penumbra.
        Lukas knocked the gate and shouted formally:
        “The Knights of the Olde Speech have arrived after their victory against thedude. Open the gates!”
        There was no response, but the gate opened slowly. The Knights of the Olde Speech and then the Knights of the Kingdom entered the Castle and then the gates closed again…
- - - - - - - - - - - 
        Nuncius was running panicked. The King had told him to lead General Dux and his army using the quickest route. His exact words were: “Lead my army and their General to victory! As quick as possible!”
        However, the army had faced utter failure. The opponents were more, stronger and rested. As a result General Dux and the whole army were smashed. Nuncius was the only one alive as far as he knew. Now, he was trying to save himself from the Aquilones.
        He tried to hide among two fallen horses, but a soldier who had seen him running found him.
        “Stand up, you pathetic creature! I won’t smash you, but only for one reason! Someone is needed to give the news to your king! Now run and run fast, because otherwise my arrows shall hit you!” the soldier said.
        From then on Nuncius became a legend, especially among the Aquilones; he became known as the man who ran faster than horses…
- - - - - - - - - -
        Baron Perfidus, the leader of the Aquilone Army saw a carrier pigeon approaching the window of the tower he was in; the tower of one of the many castles they had taken over. The pigeon landed on his hand and Perfidus took the message from its leg. He opened the envelope and read the message:
Diar barons perfidus,
        Lords thedude thank yor for yors asistans at e fait agenst kings mattias. Therfor, lords thedude shals givs yor the sampol ov e peiments yor wils gets if wi wins that wors. Injoi!
Yu feithfuli,
lords thedude.
PS: this is notin to do with lu*
        Perfidus searched in the envelope and his hand touched something hard and cold. He pulled his hand out and saw an Adamas. Adamas was a kind of diamond. However, that kind was harder than normal diamond, sharper than normal diamond, brighter than normal diamond, more beautiful than normal diamond and 100 times more precious. And that one was a rather big one!
        “Look at that! An Adamas!!!” Perfidus said to his brother, who was sitting nearby studying a map.
        Perfidus’ brother, Proditor looked at him instantly.
        “Where did you find that?!” Proditor enquired awestruck and surprised.
        “Thedude sent it with this letter!” Perfidus answered.
        Proditor took the letter and read it. Once he was finished, he told his brother: “It says this is only a sample of the payment he will give us!!! Imagine how rich we will become!!! We must inform the King!”
        “Why bother?” replied Perfidus “With this, we can turn the army against the king and rule the Kingdom!!!”
        “You’re right! We can!” Proditor said “Or maybe I can!” he whispered and with an evil smile approached his brother “Give it to me! I want to see if it’s real!”
        “NO!!!” Perfidus shouted losing his temper with no reason.
        “I just want to check it!” Proditor insisted with his eyes ‘glowing’ and made one more step closer to his brother.
        “NO!!! IT’S MY PRECIOUS! IT’S MINE!!! THEDUDE SENT IT TO ME!!!”  Perfidus kept shouting.
        “But we can share it, brother! Sure we can!” Proditor made one more step and now was in front of his brother.
        “NEEEEVEEEEEEEER!!!” Perfidus cried for once more.
        “GIIIIIIIIIVE IIIIIIIIIT!!!” Proditor also shouted and drew his sword…
- - - - - - - - - - -
        The Knights walked through the streets of the castle. Excluding them, the paved streets were empty. However, sometimes they saw some people looking at them through windows with sad expressions. There was a mysterious silence and even when someone talked it was like the atmosphere absorbed the voices.
        Everyone felt that something was wrong, but their logic was telling them that there couldn’t be something wrong. If thedude had taken over the castle, why would he let them in?
        They finally reached the Keep. All the Knights of the Olde Speech (except for Talmid), Strange Odd Shadow and Sergeant Centurio (he had been sent with them) got in. They entered the Throne Hall and looked around them. There was no guard and the only thing there was the throne, which had its back turned to them, so they couldn’t see if anyone was sitting there at all.
        “Gud! Yor haz cam! Welcam” a voice was heard from the throne.
        Everyone was alerted, because the voice didn’t belong to the King and it was very similar to the voice of…
        “THEDUDE!!!” Sir Grongringro-eth shouted as the person who was sitting on the throne stood up; it was indeed thedude.
        At the following seconds many holes appeared on the floor, the walls and the ceiling from which Paradox Rogues appeared; and not any Paradox Rogues, but Red Mythrans.
        Some Space Marauders went on the front and started firing at them. Whoever had a shield went on the front to protect the others from the lasers their enemies threw. Sir Sharp wore his Daredevil gear and stroke back. Whoever had a bow or a crossbow including Sir Thingguy started launching arrows. However, the powers of the lasers were greater than the powers of the arrows. First to fall was Segeant Centurio, who jumped to save Sir Seton. After him there were only injuries, but that wouldn’t last for long.
        For things to get worse, Sir Talmid appeared. However, his eyes were red and he looked at them wildly.
        “TALMID!!! You’re awake!” Sir Lukas and Sir Thingguy exclaimed simultaneously.
        “Mi sals distrois yor!!!” was Talmid’s answer and then he charged at Lukas. They then started a fight with much blocking and dodging, but not actually hitting.
        “I had enough of this!” Shadow, the Peculiar Enchanter, who was now in his Elderly form, cried when he saw one more Knight fall down wounded. He waved his staff and the left wall turned into pieces.
        “Come on! Leave!!!” he shouted and hit Talmid on the head with his staff knocking him out.
        The standing Knights carried the fallen ones and left through the huge hole.
       “DOESN’T LETS THEY TO ESCAPES!!!” thedude shouted angrily.
        However, it was too late to catch them. They had already gotten too far.
        Outside there was fighting, too. The Knights of the Kingdom were struggling to survive against the Paradox Renegades and the Red Mythrans. As he ran Lukas was crying: “FLEE! FLEE!”
        However, Thingguy had other aims.
        “We must save King Mattias and Lady Jonna!!!” he said.
        “There’s no time! It’s better if we save ourselves and come back later to free them than be all imprisoned!!!” Lukas responded.
        Thingguy did not say anything else, though he didn’t seem to be persuaded.
        As they approached the gate someone threw a dynamite and destroyed it. More dynamites were launched and the wall around the destroyed gate collapsed. Some of them had mounted their horses, which luckily were still alive. With some more dynamites and some explosions made by Shadow a part of the walls fell on their pursuers smashing many of them and blocking the way of the rest. They were saved for the time being.
        After some hours of running or galloping, having made sure their chasers had lost them, they stopped. They rested for some time and then Shadow said: “I have to go somewhere and meet some people!” He then mounted a broomstick, which he got from his backpack and flew with it.
        “What can we do now?” Sir Blaze asked desperate “The castle was taken over, Sir Talmid has gone with the enemy and our forces are way outnumbered by theirs!”
        “I really don’t know, right now! But we’ll sort it out! I’m sure!” Lukas answered.
        They all looked at each other. They all felt that they had failed. Then, Thingguy said:
        “We need MajorQ”. . .
@ 07-06-2013 12:44 AM Lady Samlooploop wrote:
=== ~Chapter XXVIII~ ===
~Part I~
Jonna growled and sat on the cold stone floor of her cell. The Aquilones, Knight's Kingdom's rival country, had invaded the castle in one fell swoop, and now she was a chained prisoner in her own home. Was running away always this hard? She scowled again and wished she had not been escorted back to the castle for the hundredth time.
Lady Jonna, Sir Talmid and Sir Thingguy had barely escaped thedude's fortress in a small ship, which got even more crowded when they realized thedude himself and his personal guard had stowed away on the ship. By triggering the blast door to the cockpit they were able to keep thedude from taking control. Unfortunately, as they came in for a landing next to an aparently developing battle, the Red Mythrans on board disabled the engine and they crashed the last few dozen feet. Getting out of the wreakage was easy, and Sir Thingguy, Sir Talmid, thedude and his minions immediately drove into the frenzy. Five soldiers from King Matthias' garrison were instantly by Jonna's side and demanded she let them take her to her worried father. Jonna glanced at the conflict feet away, the stained blades clashing, guns blazing, the fallen and the standing, all burning into her mind like scorching iron, and her courage shattered.
"Okay," she whispered, her freshly drawn sword slipping from her weak fingers. Nodding approvingly, the soldiers quickly rounded up some stray horses and gently put her on the fastest. Mounting their own, the small group fled the carnage towards the distantly visible castle.
Upon arrival at the castle, reunion with her father was shortlived. Bursting into the throne room a horrific scene met the group's eyes: thedude and Vladek holding a dreadful looking grammar sword at an exhuasted King Matthias' throat.
"wii ohns thiz land nowh," thedude sneered, "iznt dat conveenyent?"
"Throw these inferior specimens in the dungeons," Vladek said complacently, waving at the mortified intruders. Smiling crookedly under his abomitable helm, he looked down at the once proud man at his feet. "As for you," he mocked, "Throw him in the worst cage we have."
Matthias breathed harshly, just now becoming aware of his daughter's presence. Oblivious to all else, he struggled to gain footing.
"Don't... you vermin, touch her...." he snarled, a gutteral, chilling sound that struck a wonderous fear in them all. Vladek blinked and recovered rapidly, and kicked Matthias' head to counter. Unconcious he slumped beside his own chipped and warped sword.
"What'll you do, worm?" Vladek muttered.
Red Mythrans closed in on Lady Jonna as her guards staunchly stepped in front of her, acknowledging this would be their last, futile, yet incredibly binding effort. Terrified, she covered her eyes as the two determined sides met and yells ripped out like nails on a chalkboard.
----
Jonna groaned, hugging herself and feeling her dirty, damp white dress that matched the cold stones of the dungeons. Why had she done it? Why had she run from the battle? It was despicable! Her whole protected, sheltered little life her father's men had been willing to die for her, give it all up to honor her freedom and life. What a cowardly fool she was, to wish for battle desperately, then turn tail and whimper away when she was faced with it. Today she had watched people bravely fling themselves into the battle, when she cried and fled. Then, while she cowered pitifully, her own kinsman fell before her, pierced for her sake.
"I'll never run from a battle again," she vowed silently. No more would she sit pretty and insecure while others flickered out valiantly, their last stray, fading thoughts all too aware that they were the last thing between the bloodthirsty enemy and their families. She would stand with them, not just for herself, but for the people who had so fearlessly fallen for her, and the others they would not suffer to sucumb.
An Aquilone spat in her cell as he passed, swinging a key ring on his finger while checking the prisoners, reminding her of stark reality. At this rate she'd never see a battle again, let alone join it. Right now she was a captive, helpless, deep in what was now an enemy stronghold. Escape was impossible, and would be unless a one-in-a-million chance presented itself. For now the only thing to do was pray for rescue.
----------------
@ 08-06-2013 10:42 PM, Sir Talmid wrote:
=== Chapter 29 ===
~ Part 1 ~
A man called Major Q. had been taking a seemingly random - to any random passerby - stroll in the woods when he nearly walked into an ambush.
Nearly.  He's not your average Sentinel of epicness.  He knew there was an ambush waiting for him, which was why he decided to have a bit of fun.
A split second after he rounded a bend, thirteen people jumped out at the Major from all directions.  A wall of rocks on the left, a thick grove of trees on the right, and an array of vines above him.  But thanks to an optically invisible particle shield emitter which Major Q. had turned on prior to rounding the bend, all thirteen minifigs literally bounced off a sphere surrounding the Major and landed, rather painfully, back where they started.
Then a manhole cover in the middle of the road lifted up and another person climbed out. "Hey wait, we need your help!" Sir Luke called.
Major Q. stared at him for a few seconds. "If you indeed needed my help, why did you try - and fail at - jumping me?"
"Uhhh," Luke stammered, then looked wildly around him. "There might be spies around, I highly suggest we talk behind those rocks."
"Uh huh." the Major said. "How do I know your friends aren't going to try and get me again?" He pointed at Sir Thingguy, Sir Spak, Sir Hycra, and Sir NinjaOfLava who were drowsily standing up from where they had landed behind the rocks.
"We wont." Luke assured him.
"Okay." the Major replied, not very impressed.  He followed Luke to behind the rocks.  Once they were out of sight from the road, Luke whispered,
"Major Q, I just want to let you know that we really appreciate this-"
"Old speech!" Sir Thingguy cut him off. "It's much more presentable."
With a sigh, Luke translated, "Wē kind sirs art of the clan, Knights of the Olde Speech.  Wē require of thou services to rescue a stolen fellow."
The Major rolled his eyes. "I think English will do just fine."
Luke flashed Thingguy a glare that said 'Told ya so.' and Thingguy's response glare said 'You said nothing.' Sir Luke continued, "So, our friend has been captured by the evil thedude and his Red Mythrans.  We think that in his current state, he has been.... turned to their side."
"So you want me to take part in rescueing your friend." the Major said, thoughtfully. "It would be an interesting coincidence if these Red Mythrans had any connection to the Rogue Paradox I was sent here to investigate.  Alright then.  What's in it for me?"
Luke did a double take, not really expecting this.  Sir Shadow walked over from where he previous stood by the trees, and said, "What's in it for you, is the joy of seeing an old friend of yours.  The man we seek to rescue is known as Sir Talmid.  We believe you know him.  Of course, if you seek material reward, we will not hesitate to grant it to you...."
The knight needn't have continued, as it took only the mere mention of Sir Talmid's name to let everyone know that Major Q. was in.
* * * * *
The lights that usually shined throughout King Mathias' castle were off, the arched windows dark and forbidding.
The memories of the the battle outside the castle forced their way to the surface of the Knights' ocean of thoughts, no matter how hard they tried to push them down.  The dramatic escape from thedude, and the demise of Mathias' army.  Talmid was captured, Lady Jonna was missing, and who knew what thedude was up to.
But now they had the Major.  He defiantly lead the army of knights through the foreboding entrance of the castle.  They passed through the gate, and found themselves in the dark.  The only light came from the dim heads up display of the Major's visor, and two torches held by Sir Legoboy and Sir Fishul.
"Now which way?" Sir Sharp whispered, but then a loud, maniacal, and very scary laugh found its way into the room they stood in.  Barney the Dinosaur had arrived.
Sir Luke was too scared to scream, Sir Seton fainted, and the Major cried out, "What in Crux?!"
"Well well well," the evil dinosaur gurgled, "look who we have here!"
"I'll get you, you.... uh, despicable, horrible thingy!" Sir Ninjago Builders screamed, and he charged across the room towards Barney.  He would have made it, if a motorized shopping cart with two machine gun wielding Red Mythrans manning it didn't suddenly rocket into the room from a side corridor and collide with the knight, sending him flying.
"Always remember to look both ways before you cross the street!" Barney chortled.
"Okay." Sir Thingguy said.  He looked left, then right, and when he was confident that no more fiendish shopping carts were going to come barreling down on him, he crossed the room, withdrew his sword, and aimed it at Barney. "You will tell us where Sir Talmid is!" he ordered.
Barney replied with a surprisingly powerful and fluid punch despite the dinosaur's lack of arms, that caught Sir Thingguy directly in the solar plexus.  Thingguy doubled over, having the wind knocked out of him, and the dinosaur spun around, catching the knight with his tail and flinging him back across the room.
"Enough of this madness." the Major grumbled.  He raised his gun and the Dinosaur exploded in a shower of purple and green bricks.
"Why did you do that?!" Sir Legoboy shouted, gripping the Major by the shoulders and spinning him around to face him. "We could have interrogated him."
Immediately, the Major wrenched his way out Legoboy's grip and blasted the shopping cart that the Red Mythrans were in, before they had a chance to fire at the group of heroes. "Let's just say," the Major said, "if I had allowed them to open fire, this mission would have ended in disaster."
"Sir Legoboy still has a point," Thingguy said, having caught his breath.
He walked over to Barney's bricks and rebuilt the dinosaur's head. "You will tell us where Talmid is!" Thingguy repeated gruffly, lifting his foot over the beheaded head.
"I will never betray the master!" Barney's head screamed.  Thingguy sighed and delivered a mighty kick to the head.  It disappeared into a random corridor.
"Some help," Thingguy said under his breath. "Now where would thedude be?"
"Hiding in the throne room, probably." Sir Sharp said. "I know, some place to hide, but he did userp the kingdom.  It would give him a feeling of power."
"Or he's in the dungeon, guarding Sir Talmid personally." Sir Shadow suggested.  At the thought of Talmid in the dungeon, Sir Seton fainted.
"I don't think so, he would probably have one of his cohorts do that." Sir Ninja of Lava countered. "I don't think thedude would want to stay in such a lowly place for any extended period of time."
"Alright then," Luke said. "Sir Sharp, Legoboy, Shadow, Spak, Hycra, Lady Ruby, the Major and I will go to the throne room.  Sir Thingguy, Fishul, Ninjago Builders, Ninja of Lava, and everyone else will go to the dungeons."
"No need to split up!" a high pitched voice squeaked, and everyone whirled around to see a fishbowl on wheels roll in.  The Major whipped out his gun, but Thingguy stopped him. "It's Lady Jonna's pet guppy!" he exclaimed.
"I was left here all alone and I'm starving!" the guppy complained. "Talmid is in the throne room with thedude!"
@ 21-06-2013 01:02 PM Sir, Owslafa wrote:
=== Chapter XXX: Choices ===
Lady Jonna sat up as the racket of fighting echoed into the dismal dungeons.  Edging as close to the bars as possible, she tried to peer into the passageway that lead to the Aquilone guard chambers.  The flickering torchlight showed vague silhouttes moving around swiftly.  But one silhoutte stood out: that of a glass bowl containing water and one fish.  "Squeaky!!"  The fishbowl-on-treads rumbled down the passage, rousing the remaining prisoners who were still asleep.  Halting in front of Lady Jonna's cell, Squeaky called out, '*Squeak* Good to see you, Jonna!  I'll get someone with hands to unlock your cell as soon as possible, so sit tight!"  Revving up its engine, Squeaky sent his tank flying forward, running over several guards.  Impatient, Jonna stretched through the bars and grabbed a set of keys dropped by one of said Aquilones.  Unlocking her door, she picked up a sword and started opening up the rest of the cells, setting free friends and allies of her father.  By the time Thingguy and Fishul finished off the guards in the chamber, all of the prisoners had armed themselves and driven off several waves of reinforcements.  "Lady Jonna, where is thine father?"  "I don't know!  Last time I saw him was in the throne room!"  "Well, that's where we're headed, then.  Can you make sure all of these people make it to safety?"  Jonna hesitated.  The two choices before her strove for supremacy.  She could take the knightly route, which would mean going to the throne room, where she had already met failure and disgrace.  Or she could take the easier route by listening to Thingguy and helping her father's people.  Not noticing her hesitation, Thingguy and the Knights dashed up the steps leading to the main chamber.  Sighing, she turned and called out for everyone left to follow her.  She knew all of the best ways to get out of the castle, and these people needed her.  But more than her father?
@ 24-06-2013 10:45 AM Sir Talmid wrote:
=== Chapter 31 ===
Sir Thingguy, Sir Fishul, and Squeaky smashed through the doors and found themselves in The Throne Room! with thedude, Vladek, and Talmid standing on a raised pedestal near the throne, with several Aquilone and Red Mythran guards lining the walls.
"wel come" thedude said, "to mua threone rooom, myhyhyyhyyhha"
"This ends now!" Thingguy yelled, drawing his sword and taking several menacing steps towards thedude.
"you end wat army . yor nites are suroundid in the main hall by me forces . , myhyhyhyhhhayha" thedude chortled. "und noe yu wil be deez troyed . ! extorzminatez them, tamlid"
Talmid stood up, drew his own sword, and leveled it at Thingguy. "As you wish, Master." he monotoned.
Thingguy, Fishul, and especially Squeaky since he's a fish gaped as the mind controlled Talmid advanced on them.  Thingguy took a deep breath, and glanced back at Fishul and Squeaky. "Stay back!" he warned. "I'll handle this."
"I would like to see you try." Talmid answered, his voice still monotonous.  Only fifteen feet away from Thingguy now and the gap closing with each second, Talmid gripped his sword with both hands and held it in front of him in strike position.
"harherharheehaerhuh" thedude laughed. "you pityfull nites mite hav elemenited banrey form dis stoyry , but can you de-feet tamlid . ?"
A feeling of helplessness washed over Thingguy as he took a step backwards. "Talmid!" he screamed. "Do you not remember me, us?  Your friends?" he gestured at Fishul and Squeaky, and thedude with his left hand, his sword still held in a defensive stance with his shaking right hand.
"I remember." Talmid said stonily. "You are not my friends anymore, thedude is my Master and I will serve him."
Thingguy gulped, and found his back pressed against a wall.  He had nowhere else to go. "Then," he sighed, "I will do as I must." He dropped his sword, took a deep breath, and screamed, "TALMID, STOP BEING A JERK!!!"
What looked like Sir Talmid getting hit by a wave of the ocean minus the ocean followed instantaneously.  Talmid's sword clattered to the floor, and his very monotonous scream went into a high pitched falsetto.  Everyone who had hands covered their ears, but Squeaky could do little more but slap his miniscule fins over his eardrums, which hurt more than the noise.
"wat iz dis sorciry . !" thedude screamed, opening his eyes to find himself surrounded by Lady Jonna and several soldiers who looked like they had seen better days.
"It just so happens that the throne room is right in the way of the exit out of the castle." Jonna retorted.  She took a sword from one of the soldiers and with a very steady hand held it less than an inch away from thedude's chest. "Where's my father?"
@ 27-06-2013 11:17 AM, Sir FFFFFPlayer wrote:
=== Chapter XXXII: The Magician, the Messenger and the Muffin ===
        The Peculiar Enchanter looked at the battle going on around him. He could see the Aquilones with their light blue colours, the Red Mythrans who were obviously red, the Knights of Morcia and the Knights of the Olde Speech, whose colours were multiple.
        Shadow had taken his young form to fight and was wearing his shiny panoply. He held his long sword and his staff. He hit an Aquilone that was in front of him smashing him and then proceeded to fight a Red Mythran. However, he was not fully focused on that while he did that, for he was thinking.
        After they had escaped from the castle the other time, Shadow had left to answer an urgent call he had received by another magician. He had returned just in time to meet MajorQ with the others.
        However, what concerned him was what had happened when he was gone:
        Shadow was flying with his broomstick and was approaching a hill. At the base of the hill there was a gate made of an unusual alloy of iron. The Enchanter headed for it and as he came close it opened and then closed after he got in. Shadow landed in a dark corridor and put his broomstick back to his backpack. He walked to the end of the corridor and found another gate like the previous one. It opened as well. Shadow found himself in a round room that was lit by the sun’s light since there was a hole on top of the hill. There was a round table in the centre around which a group of people who had a variety of robes, beards, magical hats and magical artefacts.
        “Ahh! Wiz Ardon! You have finally come! We were expecting you an hour ago!” said one of them who had an extremely long white beard, but not as long as the beard that the Peculiar Enchanter possessed, as he was in his old form then. That man seemed to be the headman of the group.
        “I greet you, members of the Sorcerers’ Council! O, Council of the fools, as you should be called! Do not expect someone early when you know he is out trying to save others, who are more worthy for even just being stared”
        “I shall surpass those insults, for I am a kind man. But it is those men and women you believe that are so worthy that we wanted to talk to you about. This council has discussed many days, to see with which side it shall fight. So, after some extremely exhausting discussions, we decided that the Knights of the Olde Speech have no chances of winning. Thedude will destroy them and after them, there won’t be any hope for King Matthias. We will help Lord Thedude! Now, we ask you to do the same, or be destroyed as well!” the headman of the council explained.
        “O, council of the fools –and you deserve this name more than ever– you must realize I’ll never betray my principles for my survival and neither will I betray my friends! Besides you can never be sure who is doomed and who is not! The Knights of the Olde Speech are protected by me!!!” Wiz answered.
        “Wiz Ardon, you are the fool! Our best diviners have seen the future! The Knights of the Olde Speech are doomed to perpetually fail!!! One by one they will fall and in the end Sir Talmid alone will face Lord Thedude once more and that will be his end! If you help them, you will eventually join them and thus you will be smashed as well. Join us and you’ll live like a king!!!” the headman said becoming angry.
      “You fools! Even if your diviners were worthy to be called good magicians, divination can never be trusted to tell the truth. For destiny is not decided by anyone or anything!!! But even if it is so, I shall fall fighting!!!”
        “Then, your wish shall become true! Now! Smash him!!!”
        Shadow laughed and said: “Do you think you can beat an Enchanter! You, who are barely called Sorcerers! Ha!”
        “You are outnumbered! Quantity sometimes beats quality!” a hairless, deep-voiced and dark-skinned sorcerer said.
        “Have I ever told you how good I am at summoning things? Sometimes I even summon dragons!”
~~~***---***~~~
        A pain at his leg brought him back to reality. The Red Mythran had found a chance to hit it while he was absent-minded. Wiz, full of anger, raised his staff from which a lightning was launched on his opponent sending him at the other side of the room to fall on two other Mythrans, all three of them being smashed. Then, more lightnings were launched from their pieces smashing other Mythrans, too.
        That caught the attention of a bearded, brown-haired man. As soon as Shadow noticed him they both knew who they had to fight...
~~~***---***~~~
        Nuncius walked slowly trying not to be heard in a dark and filthy corridor. He had run as fast as he could when the Aquilones had threatened him, but soon he got tired and the enemies with their horses reached the Castle of King Matthias before him. After that he got scared and hid in a cave near the castle.
        However, when he saw the brave act of the Knights of the Olde Speech entering the Castle alone, he decided that he needed to reclaim his honour by helping them.
        Now he was walking in that corridor he knew that led to the deepest cell of the castle; where he knew that King Matthias would be and where he knew that the Knights of the Olde Speech would never look, for the corridor was secret. Nuncius himself had found it by luck the previous time he had come to the castle.
        He wasn’t sure how he would deal with the guards, but he knew he needed to do that no matter what the chances of him being smashed were. He only had a dagger and his panoply was very light to withstand the heavy weapons of the Aquilones.
        He walked for what seemed to be an eternity, but most probably was about ten minutes. Then, he reached the end of the corridor. Ten Aquilone guards were there in front of some railings. Before Nuncius could scream, they did.
        “IT’S THE HORSE-MAN!!! WE’RE DOOMED!!! THEY SAY HE’S A WIZARD!!! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!” one of them screamed.
        Indeed they did. They started running towards the other side of the corridor, zigzagging, running doing circles and generally in any way that one can run.
        Nuncius, realizing what was happening, figured what he had to do. He ran to one of the guards and pushing him down, he said with bombast: “Give me the keys for that cell, or else you shall be destroyed!!!”
        “Of course!!! Immediately!!!” the guard answered and with trembling hands, he took the keys from his belt and gave them to Nuncius “It’s the b… bi… bi… big bronze one!!!”
        “Your doom shall not come today, lowly guard!” Nuncius said and turned around towards the cell in which King Matthias was watching the whole event…
~~~***---***~~~
        Quite Bad Muffin was sitting on a chair at his room of the house in Nimbus Station in which he lived with his friends MajorQ and Tolkien Fan Axe. He was eating a muffin, but that one was quite good.
        “Hey, Axe! Where did you say that Champion went?” he asked.
        “Champion? He said he had business with some Nights of the Bolt Peach! At a planet I think is called Knights’ Boredom” Axe, who was wearing Daredevil gear answered.
        “Nights of the Bolt Peach???!!! What are they?” Muffing exclaimed.
        “I don’t know, but Major said they are fighting some people called Pardon Rocks! Or were they Paranoid Rods?” Axe replied.
        “Were they called Paradox Rogues?” Muffin asked stopping eating the muffin.
        “Yes! How did y-” Axe started saying, but was interrupted.
        “WE MUST TELL THE FACTION LEADERS!!!” Muffin shouted jumping from his seat.
        “Why?”
        “Because they say that they are as dangerous as the Maelstrom and the Nexus Force wants to stop them!!!”
        Ando so the two friends and a half-eaten muffin departed with the Nexus Tower being their destination. . .
@ 14-07-2013 09:45 PM, Sir Thingguy the 2nd wrote:
(This chapter is viciously and mercilessly written in Canadian/British spelling. If you can’t cope with the word “colours,” instead of “colors,” then I offer my condolences and suggest you straighten out your life by writing a biography about a penguin with rainbows where the black should be. Thank you)
=== Chapter After the Chapter That Came Before This One. ===
“WHERE IS MY FATHER?” hollered Jonna, her sword pressing harder into thedude’s chest, and her cheeks turning a colour of red. “WHERE IS HE, YOU SLIME?”
thedude laughed. A terrible, blood-chilling, static-filled laugh, full of grammatical errors and bad pronunciation.
“How can he mess up even a laugh?” solicited Talmid incredulously.
“(laff) u really think i tell u? i lord of pain. pain bow to meh,” said thedude in a dark chortle.
Thingguy punched thedude hard in the face, snapping his head back and breaking the imaginary nose of a minifigure. thedude laughed again and waved his hand in front of his face. The massive bruise and broken nose immediately healed, and thedude backhanded Thingguy, sending him sprawling on the floor.
“i mighty moderator! even powerful Keighlian and Oceanbella fear me power! u nothing! u nothing to do with lu!” A dark chuckle followed.
thedude let free a powerful blast of wind, knocking everyone back from his throne. He stood up and drew a massive sword.
“now u witness tru power!”
The doors to the throne room burst open. Sirs Legoboy and Seton stood in the doorway, sweaty and covered in dirt. Seton leapt up to thedude, and after a few skillful strokes, ran thedude through with his mighty blade. thedude laughed and healed himself. Seton fainted.
Legoboy raised his already-drawn sword and shield. In a dramatic moment, he charged at thedude, giving a mighty battlecry. Talmid, Lukas, and Thingguy had recovered by now and fell in behind him. Jonna tottered to her feet and ran after them.
Legoboy clashed his shield into thedude’s chest, and sent the dark warlord stumbling back. Thedude recovered and swung his broadsword at Legoboy’s shield with the strength of eleven men. Legoboy fell to the ground, a splintered shield covering him.
Lukas and Jonna were left standing in front of him, and with two similar moves he incapacitated them. Lukas fell thinking he should have attacked with his bow. Jonna fell thinking she should have said goodbye to her horse.
Thingguy and Talmid had circled behind thedude, and the two of them kept him at bay for several minutes. Talmid, who was still weakened from thedude’s mind-control, fell first. thedude swung at Talmid’s left, and then punched Talmid in the side from his right. Talmid doubled over, and thedude brought his pommel down on the brave knight’s head.
Thingguy was left alone. He was an expert swordsman, but even he couldn’t last long against thedude. Thingguy made an opening, and thedude dealt a serious blow to said knight. He fell to the ground with a wound that would require a six-month trip to Europe to recouver from.
thedude advanced on Thingguy, ready to give the final blow. Legoboy, who was now behind thedude, stood up, clutching his side, and walked up behind thedude.
“Delivery,” said Legoboy, tapping thedude on the shoulder.
thedude spun around, and Legoboy smashed a cake that he happened to have with him into thedude’s face. thedude shrieked in agony, and Legoboy snatched up thedude’s Grammar Sword.
thedude fell to the ground, powerless. One by one the knights got up, and they all said nothing.
thedude had fallen.
@ 21-07-2013 12:36 AM Sir Talmid wrote:
=== The Chapter after the Chapter that came before the Chapter that came before this Chapter. ===
"yus .... " thedude gasped, " mite hav defeeted me here , yus sutpid nites . "
"You bet we did." Sir Thingguy said, puffing up his chest.  He turned to Sir Legoboy and said, "Arrest him- oh wait, you have the grammer swod." He turned to Sir Luke. "Arrest him."
"You sure?" Luke said, a frown appearing on his face.
"Yes!" Thingguy said.
"Alright...." Luke produced a pair of handcuffs and handcuffed Legoboy.
Thingguy screamed. "What the brick!  Handcuff thedude!" he shrieked.
Luke glared at Thingguy, and turned to handcuff thedude.  He turned again, then whirled around two times. "He's gone!" he exclaimed.
Instantly all the knights spun on their heels and optically scanned the throne room for a sign of thedude, but he was gone!
"What is this withcraft!" Sir Talmid yelled, and Thingguy slapped him on the back, knocking him down.
"Welcome back, old friend." he said.
Talmid groaned, and he too glared at Thingguy. "I repeat, what is this withcraft?!"
Everyone glared at Lady Jonna.
"Don't look at me!" she cried. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm a witch!"
"Yeah.... sorry." All of the knights hung their heads to the ground, and in doing so, everyone noticed a faint cloud of.... something.
"What's this?" Sir Seton asked, bending down and sniffing the.... stuff.  He wrinkled his nose. "This steam smells like rotten eggs." He fainted.
Shadow tilted his head towards the ceiling and took a big, loud, gaspful of breath. "Don't breath it!  It could be poison gas.  Everyone out!"
The knights (including a sleep walking Sir Seton) headed away from the throne and towards the throne room door, where a Rogue Paradox crouched over a weird generator that was emitting the gas.  Luke kicked the Paradox in the face and stomped on the machine, disabling it.  Then the knights pushed the doors open and found themselves facing thedude and his army.
" hae hae hea heae hauehr hugh . ! " thedude chortled. " wile yus sutpid nites war agrowing , yurs truelee sneeked ow t . haehahehuehraorugh . ! und naow yurs truelee will deestroy yus sutpid nites . " He turned to his army. "xzotorminaet dhem naow ! " he commanded.
The army of some one hundred Red Mythrans, Paradox Rogues, and Aquilones couldn't help but knock down thedude in their infantry charge against the knights.  Thingguy, Luke, Jonna, Sharpie, Fishul, and Shadow raised their swords (and Squeaky armed his fish tank), being the only knights able to, as Talmid was too weak, Seton was faint, and Legoboy was handcuffed.  thedude's army would reach them in T minus 10 seconds.
The king's soldiers were about to rush ahead of the knights and take the brunt of the attack, but Lady Jonna stopped them.
"You are absolutely NOT to die for us." she said sternly, and the soldiers obliged.
T minus 8 seconds.
In total, the knights and the soldiers were barely thirty.  Compared to the hundred of thedude's evil army, they were outnumbered 1 to 2 and around an eighth of 1.
T minus 6 seconds.
Talmid and Seton shuffled to their feet and stood alongside the knights. "Give me a sword," Talmid grumbled.  Thingguy handed him one.
T minus 4 seconds.
"I'll say," Shadow said, "if this will be our last stand against the forces of evil, then I am very glad to be part of the last stand against the forces of evil."
T minus 2 seconds.
"We all are." Luke said in response. "Thank you everyone."
The Red Mythrans reached them first, and the two armies collided.
Talmid was knocked down by the wave of Red Mythrans, then Aquilones, then Paradox Rogues.  Two of the king's soldiers quickly took his place at the first, last, and only line of defense.  Luke and Thingguy spun their swords, taking down the first wave of Red Mythrans to take on them, but the Aquilone phalanx group pushed them back.
Sir Luke tossed the key to the handcuffs to Sir Sharpe, who promptly unlocked Sir Legoboy who he was next to, who unsheathed his sword and jabbed it at the nearest Rogue.  The sword got caught in the armor, and Legoboy jumped on the Rogue, bringing him down to the floor and bracing his feet on his chest in an attempt to pull his sword out.
The armor held stong, but Shadow noticed his predicament and as soon as he had dispatched the wave of Aquilones immediately in front of him with a wall of fire, he sent a small bit of magic in Legoboy's direction.
The sword slid out of Legoboy's armor, and like an earthquake releasing its built up tension, Legoboy got sent flying back into the Throne Room doors, knocking them open and landing on the poison gas generator, turning it back on and knocking it around to face the battle in the halls.
Taking this opportunity, Thingguy, Luke, Talmid, and Major Q, who were all fighting valiantly but couldn't get past the striking range of the Aquilone's spears, quickly called retreat. "Pull back!" Thingguy yelled, and the line of the knights quickly ran through the cloud of gas and back into the throne room.  Legoboy got up again and shoved the poison gas generator into the hallway before locking the massive doors shut after the knights, but not all of the king's soldiers made it.  Jonna looked distraught.
"We've got twenty seconds at most!" Major Q yelled, taking charge. "Jonna, you know this palace better than any of the rest of us!  You've got to tell us where to go!"
Before his daughter could say anything, King Mathias appeared out of nowhere.  Well, not literally, but out of a double section of the wall.  All of his soldies who made it ran over to him and supported him. "To the roof!" he yelled. "It is a tight squeeze, their swarm strategy wont work there!"
The throne room doors shook, and Legoboy, who leaned against them, grinned sheepishly. "Ten seconds!"
Mathias pointed to a stairway on the far wall. "Go!"
"Father!" Jonna screamed. "What about you?"
Mathias accepted a sword from one his soldiers, and meeting Jonna's intese gaze with his own solemn one, admitted, "I will hold them off.  My daughter, you are a knight.  You must go with them."
She shook her head and ran to King Mathias. "I'm not leaving you, not again, father!" Jonna announced.
"You wont need to," Luke said, and produced another handcuff, with which he handcuffed King Mathias to his own arm. "No one else will die in vain today." he proclaimed. "Even if it takes the capital offense of handcuffing the King to ensure it."
Mathias resigned to the knight. "So it will be.  Finally will fight together, Lady Jonna." he addressed his daughter.
"Five seconds!" Legoboy updated.
Talmid ran to the stairway and ushered the rest of the knights up. "Get out of there, Legoboy!" he yelled.
Shadow ran over to Legoboy and put an additional lock spell on the door. "We're flying!" he yelled back, and Legoboy grabbed onto the wizard.  Shadow's robes morphed into a flight suit and a jetpack, though both were just for show.  The wizard and knight proceeded to elevate into the air and clear the door, headed for the window high up in the throne room ceiling, just as the doors exploded in a violent explosion, sending heated fragments of its metal bulk everywhere.
Two Paradox Rogues holding heavily technologically advanced rocket propelled grenade launchers blew smoke off the tips of their RPGs and stepped aside.  thedude striding at the front, his army entered the throne room.
Shadow cast a temporary spell of confusion on thedude's army, and they proceeded to sing some kiddy song that went along the lines of "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family.  Trololololol." and the wizard yelled to the knights, "What are you waiting for, to the roof!"
The knights knodded.  Squeaky's fish tank lifted up on VTOL jet lifters to ascend the stairs, whch the knights climbed.
And so it was, to the roof!
End of Chapter.
@ 24-07-2013 08:56 AM, Sir FFFFFPlayer wrote:
=== Chapter XXXV: On the Roof and Off of It ===
        Squeaky was the last one to the roof; at least the last one that wasn’t a Paradox Rogue, a Red Mythran, an Aquilone or thedude. For after Squeaky, who was still thinking of how hungry he was, all those ascended on the roof of the palace.
        “yus Gots reddies tu getes zmasses!” thedude shouted as he got out of the window and onto the roof.
        However, the Knights of the Olde Speech were ready. Whoever came on the roof was pushed and fell from it. Many of their enemies smashed that way, but unfortunately thedude survived the fall and shouted: “Fulls shourshererersh! Atakes!”
        Suddenly, some black-robed men appeared from nowhere. They created a circle around them and raised their hands which held wands or staffs. Realizing that they were surrounded by a group of about a dozen Sorcerers the Knights gulped wondering if they would manage to defeat them as well.
        “Surrender you fools!” one of them with a bass voice said “You are doomed! You will never defeat Lord thedude! You may have beaten some of his Paradox Rogues and Red Mythrans here, but that’s not even the one tenth of his army! His real army is right now conquering the rest of Morcia and then will return for you! But with us, there’s no reason for waiting! We give you now a chance to surrender!”
        A silence followed, for the Knights did not know what they should respond and the Sorcerers waited for a response. Then, suddenly Shadow broke the silence with his almost maniacal laughter: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I tried to stop myself, but I couldn’t stand it!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Like you are even capable of defeating ant! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You are the fools! AHAHAHAHA!!!”
        Then, suddenly a BOOM was heard and Imagination Blue flames covered everything. The flames did not hurt the Knights or the soldiers, but 6 of the Sorcerers were smashed.
        “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ONTO THEM!!!” Shadow shouted and as if that was the signal, everyone charged against the Sorcerers.
        Shadow, however, engaged in a Magical Duel with the Sorcerer that had spoken before and they soon had destroyed half the roof and fallen into the palace again.
        Sir Grongringro-eth, Lady Ruby and Sir Hycra were fighting one of the Sorcerers that held wands. Grongringro-eth blocked a lightning spark with his shield, but got electrocuted by that. Sir Hycra charged against him, but found himself stopped by a petrifying spell. Yet, those things gave Ruby the chance to approach the Sorcerer from the right and cut with her sword the wand of the Magician.
        Sir Agent of Skies, Sir John Nicholas Cataclysm, Sir Seton and Sir Legoboy fought another Wizard. Legoboy struck first. The Sorcerer blocked the sword with his staff and then moved it making Legoboy fly to the edge of the non-collapsed roof. At the sight of that Seton fainted and now it was only Agent of Skies and John that remained. They charged at the Wizard together and while the Wizard conjured flames that surrounded Agent of Skies, John struck him on his side and he fell down beaten by pain.
        More Sorcerers appeared from time to time, but the Knights worked together to defeat them. Sir Sharp, Sir Funkey of J Esquire, Sir Blaze, Sir SHNB and Sir Spakybob fought together. Sir Fishul, Sir Dragon, Sir Ranger Halt and Sir Loin of Beef worked together. Lady Jonna, Sir Talmid, Sir Thingguy and Sir Lukas fought together as well. King Matthias, Squeaky, MajorQ and all the Soldiers were also a team.
        As soon as all the Sorcerers were defeated everyone looked at the interior of the palace that was visible due to the half roof having collapsed. The place was full of smokes. Suddenly, they heard a scream, then a roar and after that Shadow’s laughter. Afterwards, a most unexpected thing happened; a huge red dragon got out of the smokes flying with its long wings. They all stepped back afraid. As the end of the very long tail of the dragon appeared from the smokes, they noticed Shadow in his young form holding it. He left the tail and fell on the roof.
        “I saw thedude coming with a group of about 30 Red Mythrans and more Aquilones. We should get going!” he said.
        “Not so soon!” someone said. A black-robed man was behind Talmid holding him with one hand and putting his wand on Talmid’s temple with the other “No one moves, or he smashes!”
        Shadow recognised the headman of the Sorcerers’ Council. Two more Sorcerers appeared on his left and right aiming them with their wands.
        No one dared to move, not even the crazy Shadow for they knew that they weren’t fast enough.
        “Well well! After all th-” the headman started, but never finished his phrase, for someone had hit him on the back. The other Sorcerers also were hit. Smoke rose from the spots where they had been hit. They all looked and saw a Daredevil holding his flareguns. There was also another minifigure next to him, which however was wearing casual clothes and had an Elite Force Blade of Lightning in his hand and a muffin at the other.
        “Muffin! Axe! What are you guys doing here?!” Major exclaimed surprised.
        “We are bringing the Nexus Force!” said the one with the muffin, who was called Muffin “To arrest the Paradox Rogues and thedude!”
        “Yes!” said the Daredevil, who was named Axe “We appreciate your work, Lights of the Bold Beach, but now the Nexus Force takes over!”
        “And where is the Nexus Force?” asked Thingguy.
        “Oh, they are stuck in the traffic jam! They will be late at least one week!” Muffin said with a tone of embarrassment.
        “Shall I remind you that thedude is coming!!!” exclaimed Seton, who was looking at the interior of the palace, and then fainted.
        The rest also saw thedude and his army coming. Some of them woke Seton up. Some others tied a rope at a sword that they spiked onto the roof. Then, they started descending the rope that was at the end of the roof (Squeaky flew). Sir Lukas was the last to leave and the moment that he grabbed the rope to descend it he saw thedude appearing on the roof. . .
@ 08-09-2013 12:29 PM, Sir Talmid wrote:
=== Chapter 36 ===
  " wair ar deh nites ?! ." thedude demanded, as Luke dropped to the ground and out of sight, thus not seeing him, or any of the other knights on the ground for that matter.
Then the sorcerors came back.
"Ha ha ha, pitiful Knights." said the Headman of the Sorcerors' Council.  "We merely put on a disappearing act at the same time your equally pitiful friends fired their weapons upon us.  We will never be defeated by you!"
Down on the ground, Sir Shadow bit his lip to quench the urge to call up, "Ha ha ha, you ran away!"
"Come on, let's go!" Talmid called, loud enough for the knights to hear but not loud enough for thedude - or even the sorcerors' superior magic hearing to hear him.  The knights, Squeaky, Major Q, Axe, and Muffin proceeded to quietly make their way away from the castle and into the forest.
Meanwhile, thedude and Vladek, up on the roof, turned to face the three sorcerors who had came back, also on the roof.  " hue ar yus and WATS yus doin hare ?! . " thedude demanded, and Vladek aimed his sword at the headman's throat.
The headman snapped his fingers and the sword disintegrated.  "I do not take well to threats from our chosen allies."  he said.
" HUE AR YUS !!! . " thedude repeated, losing his patience, and his temper.
"Introduce yourself." a random Aquilone translated.  Vladek smashed him.
"We are from the Council of Sorcerors." the headman said.  "I am the headman.  Under unamious trial and vote, we have decided that we allign ourself with the army of thedude.  You are now at our service."
" WAT ?! . " thedude screamed.  " YU SNOT MAKERING SENZ !!! . "
"Maybe we should rethink our vote." one of the sorcerors commented.  The headman smashed him.
"Take it or leave it," the headman growled, "whether we officially work together or not, we share a common enemy.  The Height of the Mold Bling."
" Deh enemy of mah enemy .... , " thedude began.
" , .... iz steel mah enemy . . " thedude finished.  " ARTARCK !!!! . "
@ 16-09-2013 10:42 AM Sir FFFFFPlayer wrote:
=== Chapter XXXVII: The Armies and the Leaving Part I ===
        There were only about twenty Sorcerers and the Army of thedude consisted of at least a hundred soldiers. Despite being strong, the Sorcerers were clearly outnumbered. The Red Mythrans, the Paradox Rogues and the Aquilones charged at them. Vladek, walking slowly towards them, unsheathed his sword.
        “Goodbye!” he said and smiled wickedly.
~~~***---***~~~
        Sir Sharp and Sir John came running into the cave where the Knights of the Olde Speech and the rest were hiding.
        “You won’t believe what we saw happening outside the castle!” John exclaimed and they all noticed how frightened he looked.
        “What happened?” Sir Talmid asked after some silence.
        “We were hidden a little further from the castle to see if anything happened, as you told us, when it all started!” Sharp recounted “We first heard the sound of a horn! We looked and saw a huge army of people that looked like Samurai! Half of them wore red and yellow or golden armour while the others were black and red! They carried banners with a flame and with a dragon!”
        “They must be the Alliance of the Easterlings, the Semeranis from Jepuni and the Semurians from Cheinir, the lands of the Far East!” King Matthias interrupted.
        “Maybe!” Sharp continued “Then, the Aquilones got out of the castle and attacked them! There was a fierce battle and then some black-robed men, probably the Sorcerers, appeared and attacked, too! They weren’t more than ten, but they fought both armies! The battle continued for an hour and then the Red Mythrans appeared. They did not attack, but instead they stopped the battle. Then, they waited. It seemed as if some people were talking. After a quarter the three armies started chasing the Sorcerers, who vanished immediately. Lastly, the three armies entered the castle, although some patrols stayed outside to guard the castle. After that John and I left Sir Squid and Sir Universe there and came to tell you what happened!”
        By that time everyone were staring at them with their mouths wide open –everyone but Shadow, who was trying to clean his ears. In the end, Matthias spoke: “It’s obvious what thedude is doing! He is collecting allies to defeat us, but he weakens them, so that when he’s done with us he can easily destroy them, too! He did not say to either of them that the others were his allies too so that when they met they started fighting –the Easterlings are the mortal enemies of the Aquilones. He also wants them to be under an unstable regime for the same reasons. I recently heard rumours that an Aquilone Baron betrayed their King and took his throne! It seems that thedude’s aim is to conquer the whole planet and not only Morcia!”
        “Or even more!” Sir Thingguy said dismally “The Universe!”
        Silence fell in the cave after that.
        “Your words are dark, my dear King and Knight!” Strange Odd Shadow said suddenly “And it seems that someone needs to guide you. Even though it seems we are doomed, there is still hope! You should go to the South; if you find horses ride there. We don’t know what will have happened until the Nexus Force arrives and so we shouldn’t rely on them! In the South find the Elephanters! They’ve always been loyal allies of Morcia. They’ll certainly help you!”
        “Why do you say ‘you’ and not ‘us’?” Sharp asked.
        Even though in the start Sharpie found that Wiz was completely crazy and he was afraid of him now he liked him. Yet, he certainly was not going to say that to the others.
        “I won’t come with you, young Sharpie! I will enter secretly the castle and spy on thedude. I’ll also try to cause a little chaos over there!” the Enchanter said and before anyone could object he got out of the cave.
        As soon as moonlight lighted him he vanished. Now the Knights of the Olde Speech could not use the help of their friend. They were on their own. . .
---
@ 30-10-2013 01:22 AM, Lady Jonna wrote:
=== Chapter 38 (Or thereabouts): Transportation Difficulties ~Part 1 ===
King Matthias blinked in surprise when Shadow disappeared, but quickly recovered and addressed those still with him.
"Very well," he began in a regal voice, "We must trust Shadow to send word if he finds anything of note. Meanwhile, he has pointed us in a good direction. We shall go and ask for the help of the Elephanters."
Fishul the Guppy spoke up unexpectedly. "But you don't have any horses. You'd never get there before you were caught. I, of course, could just use my Super-Duper-Fishtank-Accelerator-of-Awesomeness, which would get me there in three and a half minutes, but I won't have much of a chance to get their aid." He let out a bubbly sigh. "Why won't anyone take talking fish seriously?"
Lady Jonna let out an equally sad sigh. "I wish I had Hwin."
Sir Thingguy nodded. "Or Deadbeat. He's probably driving thedude insane right now." He found it amusing to think of his horse yammering for oats, before he remembered that no one would understand his neighing.
"I know!" exclaimed Sir Seton, raising a hand helpfully, "I had seen pastures full of horses before thedude took over the castle. They're a ways west, but mayhap the horses have escaped the plundering."
"Then we'll take a look there. Well done, Sir Seton," Sir Talmid said heartily.
Hearing his hero praising him, Seton fainted.
The King looked about at all of the knights, feeling a little miffed at being left out from the decision making. "We shall leave on the 'morrow," he declared imperially, trying to make up for his loneliness through his commanding air, "Tonight we rest." Everyone agreed, and Jonna immediately laid her head on her father's lap and fell asleep with snores like a foghorn. Matthias stroked her hair, grateful that she was safe.
The rest of the knights had some difficulty sleeping through her monumental snores, but eventually they all dropped off into dreams.
-------------------------
@ 03-11-2013 12:23 AM, Lady Samlooploop wrote:
=== Chapter 38 (Or thereabouts): Transportation Difficulties ~Part 2 ===
        Morning broke brightly upon the travelers as they did their best to traverse the landscape unnoticed. Thankfully, most of it was forested, giving them profficent cover for the majority of their journey. Eventually they came out of the woods into green hills, dotted with shrubs and cottages all framed in rustic fences. They were more wary of being spotted here despite the fact that it appeared no armies had come through- yet.
     It was well past noon when a pasture occupied by some lazy horses was spotted. The knights hurried towards it, eager to get off of their feet. A farmer was in the middle, trying to put a halter on a shaggy pony when he saw the group coming his way, and gave up upon his quarry to meet them at the fence.
     "Greetin's, Sirs, how can I- oh, Yer Majesty!" he exclaimed, and dipped in a hasty bow when he saw his king leading the arrivals. "I didn' see you, ah' beg yer pardon."
     Matthias nodded graciously and spoke for the group. "It's quite alright. We bring sad news. The castle has fallen, and we are the sole escapees. We have need of your horses to continue our plan of taking it back; would you lend them to us, my good man?"
     The farmer feverantly pledged that he would do all he could to help them. "All my resorces are at yer disposal, from the food on my table, to the water from my well, an' to the.... er.... the horses." He faltered, shuffling his foot in the grass sheepishly. "Yes, the horses. I'm 'fraid the horses are a bit... high strung. Skittish. Very.... spirited." He concluded tactfully. The knights stared at him.
     He held out for as long as he could before sighing in admittance. "They are completely unruly and will not listen to a thing you ask."
     Sir Universe (who was holding Fishul's fishtank; it had run out of fuel halfway there) shrugged helplessly. "Better than walking. We don't hav-"
Just then the character limit monster came and ate them all, stopping the writer from contin-
@ 17-11-2013 12:23 AM, Lady Samlooploop wrote:
=== Chapter 38 (Or thereabouts): Transportation Difficulties ~Part 3 ===
        Sir Universe (who was holding Fishul's fishtank; it had run out of fuel halfway there) shrugged helplessly. "Better than walking. We don't have much of an option to not use them, unless we all use our enormous collections of bricks in our backpacks to make a giant spaceship with stealth shields and fly there."
     Sir Seton fainted at the completely plausible idea.
     Everyone else, however, took it as sarcasm and ignored it entirely. "We'll have to give the horses a try," Sir Sharp concluded, taking the halter form the farmer and began slipping it over a bay's nose. The horse snorted in annoyance, cantering away with a dissmissive flick of it's tail. The farmer shrugged and brought tack for the horses. Sir Skilled Honored Ninjago Builderson and Sir Ninja_of_Lava walked right up to a giant, pure black horse with a long wavy mane and untamed fetlocks. It stood quietly in the midst of the other horses that fled contemptously from the steed-less knights and allowed the two brothers to saddle and mount him.
     "That was easy!" they called, riding double on the flowing Friesian.* Everyone else glanced over enviously as they pursued the other mutinous equines.
     Eventually, after many hours, they were all mounted and ready to set off. It was difficult to keep the horses under control, but so long as they got to the Elephanters on time, no one complained. The brothers didn't complain especially; their horse was a perfect angel, responding to each command instantly and gracefully. His name was Ricardo.**
------------- 
*My favorite type of horse. I had to put it in somewhere.
**Reference to Ninjago_Builders old comedy
@ 25-11-2013 12:24 PM Sir Talmid wrote:
=== ~ Chapter 39 ~ ===
Part 1
After several days of travel through the farmland plains, across Great Desert of Shrubs - in which they had a run in with the fearsome *gasp* Sn:Orkeling Cactus Weasels - King Mathias, his army, and the Knights minus the Enchanter finally arrived at the Ocean Strait, a long, winding, and very wide river that stretched around the planet's entire southern hemisphere.  From a satellite camera directly under the South Pole, the Ocean Strait would appear to be a blue ring circling a great green plain circling a snowy tundra that was the South Pole.
And at the Northern Shore of the Ocean Strait was an enchanting sight that rivaled even the aforementioned Enchanter's enchanting powers of enchantment.
"For sooth!" Sir Talmid exclaimed, dismounting from his steed - which promptly left him to graze - and raising his eyes to stare upon the sight that was the SKY RAINBOWS!
The planet of Morcia was not without its moons.  The planet actually had two moons, one of which was tidally locked on a low orbit around the planet's Southern Hemisphere.  Whenever the moon passed over the Ocean Strait, its gravity would influence the tides of the Ocean Strait so strongly that they waters would actually rise into the sky.  When sunlight met the suspended particles of water, a rainbow would appear.
"It is beautiful indeed," King Mathias agreed, guiding his horse to trot alongside Sir Talmid, "but we shant busy ourself with sightseeing.  We must make haste to reach the Elephanters, as we are already behind schedule!"
"Actually," Sir Talmid said, "I think we're right where we want to be.  I happen to bear knowledge that it is an Elephanter holiday to celebrate the Sky Rainbows.  Perhaps, behind this wall of mist, the Elephanters are there right now!"
King Mathias nodded in agreement, and called to his men, "Dispatch scouts across the river!  Carry no weapons, we aim to make a peaceful impression on the Elephanters!"
For the next few minutes, the Knights and King Mathias heard nothing from the scouts after they disappeared through the mist as they crossed the river.  The King wondered what the Elephanters would think of his soldiers appearing out of the mist in the middle of a holiday.
Finally, the scouts returned, with their leader, a man named Barclay, approaching the king with his report, and an interesting finding.
"Your majesty!" Barclay saluted, and with the king's permission proceeded to relay his interesting find.  "It is an intersting occurance, but as my men stood in our boat within the mist, we found that we could see very clearly out of the mist, but simultaenously could not be seen!  This is an excellent location to put a surveillance tower."
"Perhaps," the King said.  "Now what of the Elephanters?"
Barclay's face darkened.  "We are too late, we spied thedude's army on the opposite shore."
"But that's impossible!" Sir Talmid exclaimed.  "We came here as fast as we could."
"Evidently thedude was faster," the King grumbled.  To Barclay, he questioned, "We know thedude is there, but what of the Elephanters?  Have they joined him, or are they resisting?  Are they there at all, or have they been vanquished?"
"We did not see the Elephanters."
"Perhaps they have fallen back." the King surmised.  "They are our only hope to defeating thedude, we must attack thedude and liberate the Elephanters!"
"At least we still have the element of surprise," Barclay said.
Sir Talmid suddenly looked panicked.  "No we don't!" he exclaimed, worriedly, his eyes darting to the side as he drew his sword.  "Arm yourselves!"
The Knights withdrew their weapons, and a confused King Mathias and his army followed suite.
"If the scouts could see thedude without being seen," Sir Talmid explained, "who is to say thedude does not have scouts witnissing us, without being seen?"
A loud horn suddenly sounded, the warcry of thedude.  The Knights assumed sparse defensive positions on their side of the Ocean Strait, two Knights in each group, with King Mathias's army filling in the gaps between them, but numbers would not help them win this fight.  The Knights were few, as was the King's army.  If they were to win through combative means, it would be through skill of the sword.
Three boats materialized out of the mist, slowly approaching the shore.  Each boat was tall, the hull facing them really being a wide gangplank, which would fall when the boat reached shore.  When that happened, the soldiers within would disembark and attack.
Each boat actually had two floors, with fifty soldiers waiting on the bottom floor.  It was on the upper floor that fifty archers stood, their bows primed and ready to rain deadly arrows down upon their foes.
But the King's army was not without archers either, and at Sir Talmid's cry were already armed and ready to fire.  These men were skillful, hopefully more skillful than thedude's.  King Mathias was counting on that.
"Ready!" King Mathias yelled, and the archers raised their bows to the sky.
"Aim!"
"Fire!"
The distance between the boats and the King's army was far, but not too far for the archers.  Thirty arrows launched swiftly on arcs that took more than 80% of them to their targets.
"Arm!" the King repeated, and the archers quickly reloaded.  "Ready, aim, fire!"
Another volley of thirty arrows flew from the skillful hands of King Mathias's army, but those sixty projectiles were al for naught in taking down the boats.  While a third of thedude's archers fell in the first volley, there were still one hundred and fifty soldiers in the lower decks, ready to disembark when the made it to the shore.
"We must stop those boats!" Sir Luke cried.  "If those soldiers reach the shore we will be overrun!  Have we any cannons?"
The soldier next to Sir Luke shook his sweaty head.  "We have no cannons, sir."
"Then we must board the boats and destroy them from within!" Sir Luke announced.  "We require a boat!"
Sir Sharp stood next to Sir Luke, and told him, "I have a boat in my backpack, but alas it is rubber!"
"It will have to do," Sir Luke said.  He turned around and waved to King Mathias's men who stood with him and Sir Sharp, three archers and six swordsmen.  "To the strait!" he yelled, pointing to a portion of the strait which was a distance to the right from thedude's rightmost boat.
Sir Luke, Sir Sharp, and the nine soldiers broke formation from the army and dashed towards the river.  thedude's remaining two thirds of his archers sighted them, and launched arrows upon the men.  One of King Mathias's archers, trained in the art of the bow, but not in maneuverability, fell.
"Spread out!" Sir Sharp shouted, but then they arrived at the river.  The mist shrouded them, and because of the distance they put between them, they lost sight of even each other.
It was silent within the mist.  "Seek out my voice!" Sir Luke called as a beacon.  "Make your way to me!"
The surviving ten eventually grouped together again, and Sir Sharp proceeded to inflate his rubber boat.  It was large enough to seat them all, and Sir Luke, Sir Sharp, and King Mathias's men boarded.  Sir Sharp took the oars while a swordsman pushed them away from the shore.
The current was in their favor, and they required little effort in closing in on the rightmost of thedude's boats.  As they lacked visibility, they found the boat by literally bumping into it, but because of their boat's rubber design, it was a soft bump, and was unheard by thedude's soldiers within.
The noisy part came next.
TO BE CONTINUED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER
@ 09-12-2013 03:25 PM, Sir FFFFFPlayer wrote:
=== Perpetual Doom — Chapter XL: An Enchanter being enchanting ===
        “Hello good sirs!” said the merchant “Would you like to buy any of my goods?”
        “me rifiouzis!!!” answered thedude “Keeld hEes!”
        An arrow crossed the air of the throne room and hit the man smashing him. If a Knight of the Olde Speech was there to watch all that, he would probably think the plan of Strange Odd Shadow had gone wrong. Yet, there was a trick. The merchant had opened his suitcase before he was hit.
        “Hey! I might have wanted to purchase something!!!” said the Aquilone Commander.
        “Main do’zent keirr!!! Mpreeng teh Gestah!” responded thedude.
        Once that was said a minifigure materialized at the hallway next to the room. He was wearing clothes that suspiciously looked like a Mosaic Jester’s gear. His face was the young form of Wiz Ardon, but if one looked at it he would be unable to actually notice the characteristics of it, due to a spell. He had of course got out of the suitcase, while the merchant was just an illusion.
        The real Jester appeared at the corner and saw the Mosaic one.
        “Whaaa?!” was the only thing he got to say before he was punched on the face and fell unconscious.
        “Hmm! Now, I remember why I dislike punching!” Shadow told himself moving his hand in the way people do when it hurts to due to punching.
        Then, Shadow waved his Jester Wand and the unconscious body of the man vanished being hidden somewhere at the castle. Afterwards he got inside the throne room.
        There were three thrones. At the middle one was sitting thedude, while the Aquilone Commander was at his left and the Easterling one at his right. The half-collapsed roof was being repaired by some people, some of which were hanging above them. Two guards of any army were guarding each entrance while two more were at the sides of thedude.
        The Easterling’s face was lighted at the sight of Wiz. Yet, the Aquilone seemed to be very irritated. The Peculiar Enchanter was pleased to see that. He hadn’t even tried and he already had a chance to start his implementing his plan. thedude looked the way he always did. No one seemed to notice that they had never seen that Jester before.
        The Easterling said something in his language, but Shadow understood: “I especially like this particular one! He’s so colourful and funny!”
        “I shall perform the torch trick first!” said Shadow predicting what would be the impact of these words.
        “This is ridiculous and utterly insulting to me, my King and my people!!! If this is the way you’re going to treat us thedude, I’m leaving!!!” bellowed the Aquilone being infuriated while he stood up.
        The Aquilones actually hated Jesters. It all had begun when a Jester had burnt the whole castle, while performing the torch trick. Wiz knew that and he was really performing a trick, but not the torch one…
        “Ur wheel sheet imintiatlee or pheish teh konsikouensis!!!” exclaimed thedude menacingly.
        “I don’t care about the consequences!!!” shouted the other and he started striding towards the exit opposite to him.
        Before Shadow knew it a battle had started around him. It seemed that everyone was fighting everyone. The two commanders were battling hand to hand. Only thedude was still sitting on his thrones shouting to everyone to ‘stahp’. Wiz got out of the room without anyone realising it. He was going to hide somewhere safe, so that he could return and cause more riots after things were safe.
        How that happened is unknown, but the battle seemed to have spread throughout the whole castle and maybe into the town, too. The most special case was when the Enchanter entered a very big hall that must have been a ball room. Things there were the worst. There weren’t only the three known armies there. The black-robed Sorcerers and armed civilians had found the chance to attack in the heat of the battle. In addition to that, the cleaner was chasing a Paradox Rogue and hitting him on the head with a broom shouting: “I just cleaned the floor!!!”
        Three Aquilones charged against him as soon as Shadow had gotten in the room. He raised his Jester Wand and started releasing flames, waters sprays, electric shocks and other from it. You see, he wasn’t wearing any simple Jester gear like the one Nexus Force is using. It was one of the ancient suits that were used in very old times*. Legend has it, that Shadow had been given that suit by an actual Mosaic Jester, having travelled in time.
        With the use of the powers this wand gave him, Wiz easily reached the other side of the room and got to the next one.
        “Yah! So cliché!” he said when he saw that he was in a mirror room, full of mirrors.
        Yet, he didn’t find it so annoying when he saw a thousand mirrorings of a minifigure. It was Lord Vladek. . .
*This has nothing to do with Crux Origins and no credits go to Major!
@ 30-01-2014 05:52 PM, Sir Grongringro-eth the 01st wrote:
=== Chapter XLI, ===
Note: This is continuing from Talmid's last bit.
Chapter 41, 
   Silently, cautiously, and ever so slowly, the Knights of Olde Speech attempted to board thedude's rightmost ship. The way they scaled the ship was quite arduous; each Knight, without any other way to rise, had to use arrows provided by the two archers. Then there was the fact that the boards that made up the ship were tilted down at about an eighty degree angle ("a special building technique that helps keep out water," Sir Sharp had told them), so they had to push the arrows they used for climbing upwards, rather than inwards. After pushed their arrows into the tar chinking, they had to twist their arrows to lock them in place, and then drag themselves carefully up, making sure that the spindly sticks the arrows were made of didn't snap. Adding the need for silence, the weight of the Knight's armor, and the wetness of the ship, and you had one tricky situation to negotiate.
However, the Knights of Olde Speech were very well trained by that point, managing to scale the boat and simultaneously making that big, 1,000 character buildup of words above completely un-needed in less than a minute.
When the Knights had reached the top and climbed over the railing (the soldiers and archers, after a myriad of attempts to climb of the side of the craft, had decided to try and sabotage the middle boat), they beheld a most curious spectacle. They were standing on a balcony that extended about five feet to a second railing-there was hardly enough room for two minifigures to walk side by side. And when the KoToS made it to the second railing, they saw a large space, about eighty by thirty feet wide, crammed full of Elephanters, Paradox Rogues, and some other warriors that may have been mercenaries. Near the ship's flat bow, there were a set of steps that led up to a place where two people were stand, holding ropes connected to a large, flat, board that went up about twenty feet. 
And in the middle of the ship, perched upon a crate near the mainsail, was a guy in purple and green armor. He was quite large and also quite dumpy, with two eyes that were fully taken up by his pupils and a very large nose; he was also strangely familiar to the Knights. He was apparently giving the soldiers a very strange briefing.
"...And we should make sure to say sorry to all the people we hurt, because sorries make everything better, huhugh! So, make sure to not run near the water, keep your sword points down, and say sorry to your friends if you hurt them. Can you do that?"
The soldiers bobbed their heads.
"Tee-ee-eeriffic!" The fat guy said, jumping up and clapping his hands, which strangely resembled mittens. "Now, let's all get into a nice, straight line."
Then, as a grating musical number about lines began to play, the KoToS realized with dawning horror that the dumpy person in the purple and green armor was, in fact, a dinosaur wearing no armor at all, and he had a tail...
"Barney?!" They chorused. Everyone looked at them.
Then things got really creepy.
As the song began to crescendo, Barney stopped singing, made a giggling noise, and, still dancing to the music, said, "Hello, friends! Oh, this is tee-ee-eeriffic that I found you!"
Twin pinpricks of red light manifested in Barney's twinkling pupils. They quickly expanded across his eyes, glowing with an intensity that made his face hard to look at. Then, with a sound that would normally be considered awesome but was, to the Knights, considered absolutely terrifying, two large laser beams came out of Barney's eyes, full of bad grammar, horrifying syntax, and maleficent punctuation. They struck a crate right next to Sir Sharp, making the Knights scream rather humiliatingly. Then said Knights remembered that they had legs, and they dashed off at full speed, still screaming, as Barney's laser eyes burned through sacks of supplies, crates, ropes, and everything in-between.
Thusly, a chase ensued.
   Along with Barney's laser beams, there were also the soldiers of the ship to contend with. They began to storm up stairs that led to the balcony area, shouting battle-cries devoid of grammar and waving their weapons around. These soldiers were fairly well trained and made it up the stairs quick enough to catch the KoToS in an odd position near the poop deck. The Knights, though valiantly they fought, had to backpedal up the stairs and onto the deck. They were pressed into a tighter and tighter circle near the steering wheel. Thankfully, Barney had stopped using his laser beams for fear of hitting the soldiers. Un-thankfully, they were all pressed against the railing now, fighting back to back against myriads of soldiers.
Then, Sir Talmid realized that fighting the soldiers like that wasn't going to work.
So he told everybody to jump off the railing.
And they did.
Consequentially, that was right where Barney was.
"Hello, friends!" The dinosaur said, grinning wickedly, as the two people who had been holding up the plank let go of their ropes and drew their swords. The landing plank they'd been hold up fell with a splash into the water, only a few feet from the shore. Shouts resounded from those onshore and those on ship alike. "It's time for you to lose that nasty good grammar of yours."
The KoToS backed up as the two pinpricks of light appeared in Barney's eyes once more. As the dinosaur began to cackle madly, Lukey tripped over a crate. Struggling to pick himself up, he saw a large, yellow triangle on the box, with a black exclamation point in the middle of it. Underneath that sign, there was the word 'explosives'. And, as the Knights of Olde Speech prepared themselves for the worst, Lukey took the crate, said "Hey, Barney! Catch!", and slung the box directly into the path of Barney's laser beams, just as they activated.
There was a predictably huge explosion. 
Splintering wooden boards were flung into the air, and a large ball of flame seemed to pop out of nowhere, taking both eyebrows and beard stubble with it as it flew into the air. The explosion managed to snap the huge log the mast was made of in half, sending the half with the sail straight into the ship's bow, sending up even more chunks of wood and causing a huge splash. The boat immediately began to fill with water, which came from the huge hole that was now in front of where the mainsail used to be. And, while we're on the subject of the mast, that was where Barney was now. Well, more accurately, he was draped over the stump of the mast, seemingly smashed.
But then he stood up.
And the KoToS saw that this was not Barney.
As the soldiers began to overcome their shock and come back from the poop deck, Barney slowly rose in a jittery, mechanical fashion. His face seemed to have been blown off, exposing a metal frame that had seemed to sustain the blast, but not without several fractures and a good deal of scorching. Exposed circuitry and wires were placed all around Barney's hollow, metal cranium, and Barney's 'eyes' had cracks running along their lenses. The rest of his body was singed, but still had its green and purple shell intact, though with holes in certain places. His right arm twitched madly.
"Hehe... That wa-a-a-asn't v-v-ery nice..." He said, as his eyes began to glow red once more. "N-not very n-nice."
And then, though the hole in the middle of the ship, a familiar shape rose out of the water. It was Squeaky, and he was in his tank.
As the Knights of Olde Speech watched from on the floor (where they been knocked down to when Lukey had thrown the crate of explosives), Robot Barney's arm twitched even more madly than before. His metal jaw had literally fallen to the floor. 
   A salvo of missiles flew at Robot Barney, obscuring his destruction with little plumes of flame as they struck the monster. There was a great sound of metal tearing apart, and then, as if Barney had teleported somewhere in a poof of flame, Barney was gone.
"Anybody else?" Squeaky asked, swinging his missile launchers to face the soldiers. Nobody moved. "Gooood. Stay there. Now, Knights, follow me!"
The Knights followed Squeaky off of the sinking boat and onto dry land, where they saw the other two boats. They had deployed their troops (the archers and warriors had only managed to stall the middle boat), and King Matthias' man were fighting them head-on. However, thedude's troops seemed to be winning; Matthias was falling back under the intense assault of thedude's well-trained fighters.
"Be careful out there," Squeaky said. "I've seen two other robot Barneys on the battlefield, and I'm almost out of missiles."
"You mean... I mean... More?" Sir Sharpie spluttered. Squeaky nodded.
"Well, we shall just have to face them," said Sir Talmid, his expression grim. "Attack!"
And with that, the Knights of Olde Speech attacked.
@ 07-02-2014 05:05 PM Sir Fishful the 5th wrote:
=== Re: Perpetual Doom — Squeaky edition. ===
=== Guns vs swords and shields. ===
Thedude's army fired their blaster and slashed with their melees. The marauders were about to pursue the fleeing knights when their were bombarded by a round of missles Squeaky fired. As the fishs' tank proceeded to fire more, all he heard was 'click,click'. "Uh-oh, I'm out of missles." Squeaky said.
"That's fine, we can do the rest from here." Talmid said. He raised his sword and the KoToS members charged into the army of stunned marauders.
"I'll get more missles!" Squeaky squeaked and turned his tank around and left. "Oh goodie goodie!" Exclaimed one of the Barney robots. "Yay! The fish is gone!" Said the other Barney. KoTos managed to smash as many marauders/sorcerers/shinobies as poossible before their sight was returned. King Matthias' knights, seeing what was happening, turned around and ran behind the KoToS.
Not far away, Squeaky and grabbed more missles from under a boulder (he hid them sometime ago. But I don't know why) and reloaded the cannon.
"Here I come!" Squeaky shouted and drove his tank at full speed back. The Barney robots were putting up a small match against the KoToS, turning their arms to laser cannons and blasting away at the knights. Soon even the KoToS had to fall back a bit until Squeaky could arrive. "Hey don't we need something shiny against those lasers?" Sir Sharpie asked. "Yes we do." Talmid replied and hid behind a rock. Seeing a random blaster on the ground that once belonged to a Marauder, talmid picked it up and fired at the Barney robots. "NOO my laser arm!" Barney robot No. 1 cried as his arm crashed to the ground.
"I hath arrived!" Squeaky announced as he drove at ramming speed at the Barney robots, firing away with his cannon...
The missles caused massive damage to  the Barney robots and also a distraction while the KoToS charged and finished them off. "Nooo. My pink/green outfit is ruinnnneedddd.." Barney No. 2 said as he shut down. "Now that those Barney robots are gone, we have less things to deal with." Talmid said. "And I have more missles!" Squeaked Squeaky.
@ 27-02-2014 10:01 PM, Sir Thingguy the 2nd wrote:
=== Chapter XLII ===
Sqeaky’s tank disappeared into the crowd of Marauders as Talmid continued to lay down suppressive fire. The blaster was starting to jam and misfire, but Talmid continued to level the ground in front of him, blaster bolts from the Marauders occasionally glancing off his breastplate.
Looking up, Talmid saw King Matthias and his men holding a defense on the bow of the ship, but the Marauders were slowly making an advance. Throughout the deck of the ship, small pockets of soldiers and even some Knights were being torn down like evicted buildings. Talmid saw that the battle was lost.
His musings were interrupted by a massive shockwave. Thrown off his feet, Talmid crashed to the ground and struggled to stand upright. Looking around wildly he sighted glimpses of Squeaky engaged in a fierce firefight with the robot Barney. Sqeaky collided with Barney’s chassis three times, but it just shrugged it off. In a superhuman leap, Barney bounded over to Sqeaky and gave a karate chop that belongs in the textbooks of impressive things to do with tiny arms; he shattered the tasteh fish’s tank.
Talmid’s stomach leapt for the stars as he saw the mighty warrior fall. With rage rivaling the size of the Rhoddwr Marwolaeth, Talmid gave a mighty battle cry and picked up a nearby discarded battle axe. Well, discarded would be a bit of an exaggeration. The severed arm was still holding it when Talmid picked it up.
Berserker mode activated, Talmid charged into the overwhelming hoard of Marauders, taking powerful swings left and right, cutting down everything that stood in his way. Robot Barney turned to face him. Time seemed to slow as Talmid drew back his arm, lifted his left foot, and hurled his axe at the steel menace.
Talmid knelt down next to the gasping corpse of Sqeaky as the cloven carcass of Barney erupted into flame.
“Sqeaky,” stuttered Talmid, lost for words. “You… you can’t…”
“Don’t worry about me, Sir Talmid,” Sqeaky weakly murmured. He gave a small smile. “My story isn’t over. You’ll see me again.”
Sqeaky suddenly went limp and slid out of Talmid’s motionless hands. Talmid was going into shock. No. No. No. No no no no no no. No. This isn’t happening. This isn’t how it works. Heroes don’t die. Not Sqeaky. No.
Booming footsteps echoed next to Talmid. The knight looked up from his crouched position and stared hard into the eyes of thedude.
“nice try,” was all he said before skewering Talmid with his own sword.
Sir Talmid’s vision went blurry and began to fade as his face had a high-speed collision with the ground. He vaguely realized he was lying on Sqeaky and made an effort to remove the fallen combatant, but thedude placed his foot on his back.
“not tooday sir talmid,” mocked thedude. “or any day for dat matter. this is nothin to do with lu.”
Everything went black.
END OF “PERPETUAL DOOM – BEING THE FIRST INSTALLEMENT IN THE MMOS KOTOS SERIES.” STAY TUNED FOR “SCATTERED ASHES – BEING THE SECOND INSTALLMENT IN THE MMOS KOTOS SERIES.”
@ 03-03-2014 12:40 AM, Lady Samlooploop wrote:
=== ~ Perpetual Doom ~ Epilogue ~ ===
We have fallen.
The skies darken. The grass shrivels. Mortifying grammar spreads like a disease around the shattered remains of our order. Even the animals have forsaken correct spelling, if that's possible. Morcia is thedude's now.
Our attempt to stop him never succeeded. Heroes died that day. For naught. It was all in vain. The beautiful shores of the Skyfalls are cursed, transformed overnight into a wasteland of unmarked graves.
Like a stained-glass window shot out by the spiteful observer, so are we. Once great- once mighty- once bound together by the ties of honor and battle- now nothing more than a broken vessel, lost shards of brotherhood to be discarded, because without each other, we are nothing.
The Knights have disbanded. Gone to the wind, each his or her own separate way. We have dispersed, like a shredded poem in the tempestuous storm. Doom has come upon us, and it will never end. It is Perpetual.
Perpetual Doom.
The Knights of the Olde Speech have failed.
We are no more. The scorched ashes of our defeat drift from breeze to breeze. Our members have fled and scattered. The only legacy we have left to this broken world is the Scattered Ashes of our failure to them.
We are undone.
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