Champ's Crusade

“	Champ: everybody dead<BR>Tox: All of us? Even cute wittle Azu?<BR>Champ: yes	”
 	—Champ says shit gonna go down 	—Champ says shit gonna go down
Champ's Crusade was a military conflict fought between the legendary warrior Champ and the rest of Dragonhollow at large early in the First Era.
It was the first war of its kind fought in history.
For nearly a week, Champ waged a one-man war on the entire world, temporarily bringing trade and travel to a halt in the central Lakelands. He was unstoppable on the battlefield, defeating everyone he crossed paths with including some of the finest duelists of their day.
Having never faced truly organized resistance, Champ continued to dominate and eventually began consolidating his gains for long-term subjugation of those he'd conquered.
The Archpriest Studmuffin declared Champ's the war's victor on 1E:12.
=Background=
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	"We could use some excitement around these parts."	
	—Tox inadvertently foreshadows 	—Tox inadvertently foreshadows
In the days before the war, the mortal community of Dragonhollow was still in its infancy. While there were fledgling alliances and partnerships beginning to grow, there were no organized factions and a shroud of distrust and suspicion still covered most of the Lakelands.
Despite occasional disputes leading to death amongst the residents, things had progressed towards an uneasy peace and the trade market had led to economic cooperation between would-be rivals.
There existed no beacons and most locations were poorly fortified. Furthermore, most of the populace had not yet created resilient armor or strong weapons. The exceptions were the Archpriest Studmuffin who had quickly emerged as the wealthiest citizen and the god warrior DragonLegends crowned as the most capable warrior alive.
The situation was ripe to be exploited by anyone with the skill and will to capitalize on it.
=Opening Hostilities=
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	Studmuffin: welcome<BR>Champ: youre dead<BR>AJ: lmao<BR>Acey: xD<BR>Tox: I like this guy already	
	—Champ arrives in Lakeview 	—Champ arrives in Lakeview
Champ arrived in Lakeview Village on 1E:8 and immediately began announcing to individual players that they were "dead", a warning that greatly amused Eris but few residents heeded. He was briefly the talk of the town.
However, when he chose to quietly settle on a beach several kilometers from the capital and build a humble abode, his bombastic words were quickly forgotten. 
In truth, he was practicing forbidden sorcery that allowed him to see the location of rare ores, which he mined for use in building a set of armor and an arsenal with which to launch an ambitious campaign against the entirety of Dragonhollow.
The following day on 1E:8 Champ launched his war by slaughtering Tycar as he passed beyond the magical protections Eris had established around the Old Oak.
In order to secure much-needed food and supplies, he began attacking newcomers who left Lakeview Village and stole their Starter Kits. Within the next several hours, he notched dozens of kills on unsuspecting travelers who had only just arrived. While Dragonhollow had previously experienced opportunistic bandits who preyed upon visitors, never before had someone targeted every single person who teleported into the Old Oak or stepped off the airship. Champ would follow in their footsteps until they left the barrier that prevented residents from taking damage, then immediately kill them and take what few possessions the Starter Kit provided.
His bloodlust was not only limited to fresh immigrants. Many citizens fell under his sword early on, including Ebon, Azureila, AJ, and CGAGL. Eventually, the Archpriest began spreading the word that a murderous bandit was on the loose and that residents should avoid leaving the protected areas of Lakeview Village on foot.
=Battle of the Slums=
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	Blyri: f u iamachampion<BR>Champ: i know	
	—Champ drinks their tears 	—Champ drinks their tears
Champ used his ill-gotten gains to expand his hunting grounds outward into the Slums, a rundown suburb of Lakeview Village home to many hovels and stone phalluses where he hoped to find more lucrative targets. 
The leather and iron-armored dregs proved easy targets. Many were massacred in the street and very few were able to escape his wrath. Those that chose to stand their ground and fight were wiped out without exception. He could not be deterred, begged, or reasoned with.
Because the homes there were so close together and combat-prevention claimblocks were in short supply, the entire area was vulnerable to ambushes and became easy prey for Champ. Priestess of Eris Azureila wisely barricaded herself inside her home in an attempt to wait him out.
=Besieging Tox=
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	Champ: good try<BR>Tox: not so much<BR>Champ: i lied	
	—After Champ easily slaughtered Tox 	—After Champ easily slaughtered Tox
After learning that Tox was the richest resident of the Slums, Champ staked-out the man's cabin. By crouching unseen behind the house, he was able to execute a surprise ambush on Tox and acquire a flame bow and a backup set of iron armor.
Tox donned his combat gear and teleported to the Old Oak, hoping to catch his killer from behind and retrieve his lost property. Champ saw him coming and the two engaged in a short duel, resulting in Tox being slain and forfeiting his best armor and weapons. Nevertheless, he went head-to-head several more times and each time died in the process. In doing so, Tox lost nearly all of his surplus diamonds and armor and was left with little more than leather armor and stone swords.
Champ then laid siege to the cabin, refusing to let its owner leave. Tox tried several tactics to break out, including digging an underground escape tunnel and speaking the magic words enabling explosions on his property to try and obliterate his foe. In his final attempt, he dumped a bucket of lava from his roof to create a temporary buffer long enough to evacuate, but a perfectly aimed arrow knocked him into his own magma trap and he was burned alive.
The siege was finally broken by a combined push from Tox's powerful allies, the Archpriest Studmuffin and deadly duelist DragonLegends. Though they were unable to kill Champ, the three successfully forced him away from the cabin and he chose to retreat and head home to unload his impressive haul of loot.
In the end, Tox's unwise choice to repeatedly confront the bandit outlaw had far-reaching effects on the Crusade itself. Beforehand, Champ had just a single set of diamond armor and one barely enchanted sword as well as limited food stores. Even aided by illegal black magic, it would take time for him to replace them and give Dragonhollow time to rearm, rebuild, and react. However, after killing Tox half a dozen times, he was bristling with spare treasure, acquiring a more powerful broadsword, longbow, and enough food to last him for days of intense action.
This tactical error emboldened Champ and made him nearly unstoppable for the rest of his Crusade.
=Invasion of Dragon's Den=
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On 1E:9, Champ then launched a surprise amphibious attack on Dragon's Den, the cavernous home of DragonLegends.
He approached silently from the depths of The Lake, killing Tox from below while he went for a leisurely swim but left his loot on the lakebed. Moving swiftly, he hid above the Den's entrance to await its owner. When DragonLegends emerged and tried to recover his ally's lost items, Champ blistered him with arrows and forced him to dive underwater.
The two men struggled in the shallows trying to gain the upper hand. Tox arrived on the scene mid-battle, attempting to hit Champ with arrows but unwilling to risk hitting DragonLegends. In the end, Champ returned to shore and killed DragonLegends with an arrow to his eye, the first in history to do so. Tox immediately charged Champ and set him on fire with flint-and-steel, but it wasn't enough to kill the bandit and he lost his life once again.
Trying to preserve his dignity and arguing that their fight had not been fair, DragonLegends challenged Champ to a series of organized duels in the hills above the Dragon Den.
Champ enthusiastically accepted.
=Dragon Duels=
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As the undisputed greatest duelist in Dragonhollow, DragonLegends was fairly confident he could defeat Champ head-to-head on open ground and assauge his bruised ego.
A crowd of onlookers assembled to watch the epic brawls, no doubt hoping to see Champ get a taste of his own medicine and put an end to his campaign of terror. However, much to their dismay, they instead watched in growing shock as Champ countered every blow and saw through every feint on his way to victory after victory. DragonLegends would deploy a flood of lava from the high ground, only to have Champ turn it to obsidian with his own water bucket. Every thrown potion of poison was dismissed with a splash potion of health. Great leaps downward from above were countered by well-placed cobblestone shields. 
A brief glimmer of hope arrived when Champ's chestplate unexpectedly broke during one of the last battles, giving DragonLegends the upper hand. However, the bandit broke his flurry of attacks by switching to a Knockback II sword and knocking DragonLegends off of a cliff to his death.
In the end, despite his reputation as Dragonhollow's greatest duelist, DragonLegends went 0-6 against Champ, losing every single duel. The crowd quickly dispersed in panic as Champ began firing arrows in their direction, not even trying to overwhelm him with their numbers in his weakened state.
DragonLegends retreated to the bunker at the bottom of Dragon's Den in humiliation, which Champ besieged for over an hour, hoping to entice him to come out and lose even more gear. He did not.
With their supposed savior embarassed and in hiding, community morale dropped to an all-time low, especially after Eris cackled and fully endorsed Champ as her new favorite chaos-bringer.
=Lake Campaign=
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Having eliminated his greatest threat in DragonLegends, Champ was able to operate freely in the surrounding area. Enriched with all the weapons and armor he would need for the forseeable future, he focused on establishing full territorial control of the Lake.
He slaughtered everyone who lived on its shores or dared to travel nearby, enjoying a dozen more kills and acquiring a full set of Restoration Armor.
=Attack on Pink Petal=
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Champ continued his Crusade on 1E:10 by driving further into the interior of the Lakelands, following the shoreline past Panda Peak and arriving at Pink Petal, the sprawling home of the Priest Smitten.
Pink Petal was a haphazard array of redstone machinery and farms, completely unfortified and indefensible. Champ easily assassinated its owner as he absent-mindedly tinkered with a daylight sensor that would retract the stairs to his cottage upon nightfall.
Smitten requested of his friend Tox to come to Pink Petal and provide cover while he extended the boundaries of his home with a magical golden shovel to deter the advances of Champ, but Tox declined, citing his lack of gear and the certainty that he would die in the process.
In trying to do so alone, Smitten was killed again and again even though he carried no items. Realizing it was foolish to return home, Smitten remained within the safety of Lakeview Village.
Champ eventually ventured to the south where he discovered Ebon's home, whom he killed and looted ten stacks of steak.
=Blockade of Lakeview=
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Champ offloaded his gains at his seaside chalet and then returned to terrorize Lakeview Village, murdering those who risked leaving its boundaries.
He camped the base of Old Oak, shadowing anyone who left on the offchance he could kill them. This was the first indication that the bandit was interested in death for its own sake, rather than to gather supplies or control territory.
At one point, he had ten people entrapped within the confines of the safe zone, refusing to leave, including Smitten. Several newcomers chose to board the airship and leave Dragonhollow for more peaceful planets. The absurdity led the Archpriest Studmuffin and his subordinate Azureila to try and convince Champ to allow his prisoners passage, but their words fell on deaf ears.
=Champ Conclave=
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	Studmuffin: err<BR>Studmuffin: no way<BR>Studmuffin: get fucked<BR>Champ: then youre dead	
	—The Conclave rejects Champ's terms 	—The Conclave rejects Champ's terms
Unhappy with what was happening to the community, Studmuffin invited his two closest allies to a meeting to discuss what to do about their new adversary.
Traveling together at night to avoid Champ, Tox and AJ arrived at Studmuffin's Red Light District, as yet undiscovered.
After consulting with his goddess Eris, Studmuffin reiterated that Champ's conduct violated none of her laws and therefore he was holding this meeting as a resident, not a member of the Priesthood.
They first discussed the possibility of forming a kill squad to hunt him down, but this was vetoed on the basis of what happened to Dragonhollow's most competent combatant, DragonLegends. The idea would later be revived on 1E:27 when Stud's Squad was formed to fight the Skullcleavers in the War of Wizards.
Next, Studmuffin proposed trying to buy him off. He was intrigued by the idea of having a skilled mercenary in his employ, someone working quietly for the Priesthood that could be dispatched to deal with irritating assholes and chronic douchebags who technically had broken no rules. Tox and AJ both agreed that it was worth a shot.
Champ rejected their offer to hire him indefinitely, appearing completely uninterested in a long-term contract. He counterproposed serving as a bounty-hunter charging thirty diamonds per head. When Tox asked whether or not doing so would ensure their own safety, Champ suggested a “buy-out” wherein he would remove the three of them from his kill-on-sight list at the cost of fifteen diamonds each per day.
Though Studmuffin was the wealthiest person in the world, even he balked at such a steep price and the three men declined, leading to Champ's reminder that they were all going to die.
Finally, they decided to pool their resources a place a 64-diamond bounty on Champ's head at the Old Oak Bounty Board and pledge to work towards establishing a regenerative beacon at Red Light which could serve as a shelter against his attacks. Furthermore, because he had little left to lose, Tox vowed to trace the bandit's movements in order to learn the location of his base.
Privately, Tox then tried to secure a separate peace with Champ, offering him a fast horse, saddle, and diamond horse armor. When Champ dimissed the offer with a simple “no thanx”, Tox fled the central Lakelands and accepted his friend Todd's offer of sanctuary on his remote island continent. He remained there in self-exile until the end of the war.
=Red Light Raid=
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Champ's search for Studmuffin's base of operations bore fruit on 1E:11 when he finally discovered the location of the Red Light District. The bandit waited in ambush and caught him out in the open, defeating him after a short battle.
Champ had slain the entire Priesthood—AJ, Smitten, Azureila, and now its Archpriest Studmuffin. He was slain a second time trying to hike back to his home, caught in open desert and unable to escape. When AJ arrived the two men tried one last tag-team effort to try to kill Champ and nearly succeeded, but the outlaw ate a golden apple and beheaded them both, though they'd emptied their pockets beforehand and lost little in death.
Their foe remained in the neighborhood for some time, hoping to catch them with their guard down. But they largely ignored him and he eventually left to find more bountiful killing fields.
=Second Battle of the Slums=
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	CGAGL: there is a player (iamchampion) thats gay and he kills you after a few days and you lose all your stuff by him.<BR>Studmuffin: what really happened was you raged at the player that killed you for not returning your stuff to you. you then proceeded to insult me once i warned you.	
	—Tempers flare 	—Tempers flare
Champ returned to the Lake and notched several more kills before ending up back in the Slums, which were noticeably quieter since his last attack.
Meanwhile, back at Lakeview Village, several young adventurers were being enlisted by Tycar to bring Champ to justice. They were idealistic newcomers, cocky and brash, having no idea what they were signing up for. The trio agreed to split whatever items that the bandit outlaw dropped upon death. Tycar then led Moosin and Helium to the Slums. There, Champ was waiting for them on the road adjacent to Tox's cabin, where he leapt from cover and neutralized them. However, he did not kill Tycar, publicly revealing that the man had deliberately sacrificed them in exchange for being taken off of Champ's kill-on-sight list.
The killer later butchered CGAGL on the streets of the Slums. In a rage, CGAGL demanded his things back from Champ. When the bandit refused, CGAGL began screaming obscenities and talking over other residents, resulting in a warning from Studmuffin. CGAGL turned his focus on the Archpriest, repeatedly insulting him until Studmuffin exiled him from Dragonhollow forever.
Studmuffin then broadcast to the community a reminder that Champ's killing spree had the tacit approval of the goddess Eris and that their belongings lost in combat would not be returned to them by the Priesthood.
=Victory=
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	Tox: I'm pretty sure he kicked everybody's asses.<BR>Studmuffin: ya i'd say he won this war lol	
	—Studmuffin declares Champ the war's victor 	—Studmuffin declares Champ the war's victor
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By 1E:12, trade had essentially ceased as fear swept across the Lakelands, leaving its denizens cowering in their homes. In just four days, Champ had managed to completely shatter the community. Newcomers were told tales of a monstrous ravager who could not be killed.
Champ was already making plans for long-term subjugation of Dragonhollow's citizens. Perhaps inspired by the Conclave's failed attempts at peace negotiations, he began charging a “ceasefire tax” that reimbursed him for what it cost in materials for him to slay a resident as well as an ongoing fee of fifteen diamonds per day, in exchange for taking them off of his kill-on-sight list. Some had already become his vassals by securing deals with him, including Tycar and Ebon.
It was the economic foundation for a fledgling empire. 
With Dragonhollow's greatest warriors laying dead and defeated and their richest residents nearly destitute, Studmuffin declared Champ the war's victor and resistance against him effectively ended.
He was never killed in action.
=Aftermath=
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	Champ: I really, never have X-rayed at all, I really love this place and hope you can let me back on!<BR>Acey: You had a really weird mine and everything you've mined is practically diamond<BR>Azureila: Can I have his diamond?<BR>Acey: lol if you can find his base and his protection expires	
	—Champ claims innocence 	—Champ claims innocence
Within hours of his triumph, Eris announced that Champ was guilty of dabbling in the forbidden dark arts, performing sorcery to illegally acquire diamonds for use during his war campaign. His pleas of ignorance fell on deaf ears. As punishment, she drowned his body in molten magma and banished him to the Underworld, where his immortal soul was tortured and enslaved for all eternity by Grim.
Many in the community, especially DragonLegends, used this evidence to infer that he had also been using sorcery to enhance his combat skills, meaning his martial expertise was unfairly enhanced and therefore their defeats were unavoidable. However, there was absolutely no evidence of this. Historians believe that Champ had simply used black magic to skip the tedium of mining and gathering XP which were only means to an end, his true interest being combat. The claims that he was using the dark arts while in battle were not supported by eyewitness accounts and were likely a psychological justification to excuse and minimize the fact that a single man had wrought such utter devastation against their community.
Eris instituted new policies in the wake of the war, first and foremost being the prohibition on serial killing of newcomers who no longer had their Starter Kit or any possessions. Many recent arrivals had decided to abandon Dragonhollow after being discouraged by Champ's repetitious slaughtering, making it nearly impossible for them to do anything, something Eris hoped to prevent in the future. While killing newcomers was still legal if they had something to steal, senseless murder of those with nothing to offer was not.
She also instituted a new rule that made ill-gotten gains acquired through forbidden sorcery fair game to be looted once the claims of those exiled expired seven days later. This policy had its own flaws, which were exposed in later eras when rule-breakers used thralls or allies to commit crimes and then profited by transferring the criminal proceeds.
With Champ's departure, DragonLegends regained the mantle as Dragonhollow's greatest warrior, though he never quite restored his peerless reputation in the eyes of his fellow residents.
Through the efforts of Studmuffin, AJ, and Tox, the Red Light District eventually established a regenerative beacon that became crucial during the War of Wizards.
Tox's sense of security was rattled by the war and he chose to leave the Slums and become a Hermit, breaking ground on his distant Black Rose haven far from civilization. He would later discover the location of Champ's seaside cottage and recover much of the loot he lost in the war, as well as all of the other riches which reestablished his place among the wealthiest citizens in the Lakelands.
Ebon founded the Commune as an open and welcoming refuge for newcomers free from the harsh cruelties near Lakeview Village.
Dragonhollow would not face another existential threat so transformative and costly until the Third Era with the rise of the Dragonslayers and the outbreak of the Northham Wars.
Category:Wars
Category:Events