Box Productions Training Video

Box Productions Training Video is the eleventh episode of Season One of The World of SBFW.
==Transcript==
[The episode opens with an establishing shot of The World of SBFW. Cut to Forest's house. His alarm wakes him up.]
Forest: (yawn) Good morning world and all who inhabit it!
[He stops the alarm and walks over to his calendar.]
Forest: (gasp) Today's the big day! Today's the day I start my new job in the city!
Forest's Mom: (off-screen) Who are you talking to, honey?
Forest: Shut up, Mom! I'm going off to write funny sponge fanfiction for an evil corporation!
Forest's Mom: (off-screen) Okay, but be back before dinner.
Forest: Okay! Love you.
[Cut to Forest leaving his house wearing a backpack and walking down SBFW Street. Golfpecks watches from his window.]
Golfpecks: Grr, he's seriously enslaved another sucker? I really don't understand why I can't get more people on board on Banana Studios.
[Forest approaches the Box Productions headquarters.]
Forest: Okay, don't screw this up. You need this job.
[Forest takes a deep breath and walks through the oversized gates. Cut to CrazySponge sitting on a throne being fanned by Matchy.]
CrazySponge: you're doing it wrong, i can barely feel anything!
Matchy: I'm doing my best, sir.
[Forest enters.]
Forest: Hello? Anyone here?
Matchy: Someone's lost.
CrazySponge: oh, that must be my new servant. matchy, go greet them or something, but be back soon.
Matchy: (sigh) Another naive sucker not knowing what they're getting into. You know I hate doing this.
CrazySponge: yeah whatever.
[Matchy steps down and greets Forest.]
Matchy: Hey, you must be the new… "employee".
Forest: I sure am! I got up bright and early to have a fun and productive day at the best worst corporation in the whole of SBFW!
Matchy: (sigh) You have no idea…
Forest: So, what happens first?
Matchy: Well I guess I'll just have to give you the grand tour.
CrazySponge: a tour?! you can't give him a tour! look at me sweating over here! i need someone to fan me while i eat my cheerios!
Matchy: Well what am I supposed to do then?
Polar: Don't we have an employee training video or anything?
Matchy: Oh yeah, that old piece of propaganda. Should be up in the attic somewhere along with SpongeBob SquarePants Bygone and that Fortnite crossover.
[CrazySponge's bulge enlarges.]
CrazySponge: whew, what a steamy romp that spin-off would have been.
[Cut to Matchy leading Forest into the employee lounge.]
Matchy: Here's the employee lounge.
Forest: Wow.
[SpongeBot is about to walk out.]
Matchy: Morning Bot.
SpongeBot: Morning.
Matchy: How are the Meme World stocks doing?
SpongeBot: Terrible.
Matchy: Oh okay. Have fun.
[Matchy leads Forest into a back room and wheels in an old VCR TV. Forest sits down on a sofa which is falling apart.]
Forest: Oh cool, one of those old TVs! Do you, by any chance, have an NES? I've been meaning to get back into Super Mario Bros. 3.
Matchy: No. 
Forest: Aw.
Matchy: Let's just say there aren't any warp whistles out of this job.
[Matchy puts in an old tape which begins playing.]
[Montage of aspects of Box Productions HQ are shown.]
Narrator: Welcome aboard. If you're watching this video, then let me be the first to say: Congratulations. You've recently sold your soul to Box Productions Inc. and this is your first official day of training.
[A slightly younger CrazySponge and Matchy walk onto the screen.]
CrazySponge: ugh, all these words are boring. are you sure this is a good idea?
Matchy: Of course it is, my dear bestie! Every company needs a good training video and this one is going to be the best one ever!
CrazySponge: i guess that is true. okay let's continue.
Matchy: Yay!
Narrator: As you can see by this graph
[The Box Productions Inc. Giraffe, John., is shown.]
Narrator: (clears throat) Graph.
[A graph is shown, Box Productions is moving up.]
Narrator: You have been employed in one of the most successful companies in The World of SBFW. But it didn't get that way overnight.
[Cut to Matchy reading CrazySponge a bedtime story.]
Narrator: Because the owner's bedtime story is at 6:00.
[Cut to Matchy and CrazySponge standing next to each other in front of Box Productions HQ..]
Narrator: No, the story of the Box Productions is the story of one man's hard work, perseverance, vision, determination and sweat.
CrazySponge: he's talking about me, right?
Matchy: Sure.
[Scene cuts to Hoopla sliding to the right and stops on the screen.]
Narrator: From Humble Beginnings
[Scene cuts to a young CrazySponge with a propeller hat walking across the street.]
Narrator: You may think that Mr. Aidan "Crazy" Sponge, owner and founder of Box Productions Inc., has always been the financial wizard he is today.
CrazySponge: i still don't understand a single word he's saying.
[Cut to young CrazySponge aimlessly making a drawing with crayons.]
Narrator: And you're right!
[CrazySponge's Mom approaches him.]
CrazySponge's Mom: What are you drawing there, honey?
CrazySponge: art!
[CrazySponge turns around to reveal a really bad drawing of naughty Fortnite stuff. His mom screams and runs off.]
CrazySponge: o
[Current CrazySponge and Matchy walk into shot, with really bad green screen effects visible behind them.]
Matchy: You know, I really like this so far. I just can't wait to see what a dominant force the company grows into!
CrazySponge: me too, i don't understand all the fancy words but everything sounds very fancy.
Matchy: And to the rookie employee watching this from the office, you may be wondering how exactly everything came to be.
CrazySponge: ooh, ooh, i like this part!
[Scene cuts to a tired CrazySponge, sitting depressed in a room with light at the window] 
Narrator: After the war, CrazySponge stayed secluded in a deep depression that seemed endless.
CrazySponge: wait wait wait, none of this ever happened!
Matchy: I'm just trying to make it sound exciting, you know.
CrazySponge: o gotcha, carry on.
Narrator: CrazySponge first stumbled upon The World of SBFW with help from everyone's best friend, boredom.
[Cut to CrazySponge and his mom in a restaurant.]
CrazySponge: ugh mom the food is taking ages to get here.
CrazySponge's Mom: We haven't even ordered yet!
CrazySponge: yeah but like could i use your phone, im bored.
CrazySponge's Mom: (rolls eyes) Fine. As long as you don't spend my money on Fortnite skins.
[CrazySponge's Mom hands him her phone.]
CrazySponge: i'll just turn mobile data on, i'm sure she won't mind.
[CrazySponge turns on mobile data and heads to Foogle.]
CrazySponge: might as well check when the next funny sponge episode is airing.
[CrazySponge searches for the next SpongeBob airdate and stumbles across The SpongeBob Series Finale. He stands up from his chair.]
CrazySponge: WHAT?! SPONGEBOB IS ENDING?!
[Everyone in the restaurant looks at CrazySponge startled. The waitress approaches CrazySponge's Mom.]
CrazySponge's Mom: (whispering) Aidan, get down from-
Waitress: Can I help you with anything?
CrazySponge: (nervous giggle) oh, uh- (sigh of relief) oh, false alarm everyone. it's just fanfiction!
Narrator: After nearly causing World War III with his terrible news, CrazySponge went home and began researching this city thriving on shitty fanfiction about a kitchen utensil who lives in a pineapple somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.
[Cut to the outside of the Box Productions HQ building, which is currently an orphanage.]
Narrator: And after burning down a bankrupt orphanage, Box Productions was born.
[The building changes into its current state.]
Matchy: Wait, that's what really happened?
CrazySponge: yeah, who were the orphans going to tell? their parents?
Matchy: You can't say that!
CrazySponge: why not?
Matchy: It will put the new recruits off!
CrazySponge: well you're still here and i doubt you'll quit anytime soon.
Matchy: Yeah, I guess you have a point. Me leaving BP? That's crazy… sponge.
[Cut to a scene of a laptop with a light shining over it.]
Narrator: Sounds like a lot of-
Hoopla: (off-screen) Hoopla!
Narrator: Sounds like a lot of-
Hoopla: (off-screen) Hoopla!
Narrator: Sounds like a-
Hoopla: (off-screen) Hoopla!
[The screen scrolls over to Hoopla yelling.]
Hoopla: Hoopla!
[Hoopla gets hit with a brick, knocking him unconscious. Scrolls back to the laptop.]
Narrator: Sounds like a lot of hoopla to make over a piece of fanfiction, right? (chuckles) Wrong!
Lock: It's funny because Hoopla.
CrazySponge: i know, right?
[Cut to the Hoopla's Fantastic Beach writing room.]
Narrator: To keep up with the demand for funny Hoopla fanfiction, Mr. Sponge uses only the best business practices to ensure that episodes get out in time for the @everyone DEADLINE🚨🚨🚨🚨!
Matchy: Can we write the episode now?
CrazySponge: sorry
Matchy: Can we write the episode now?
CrazySponge: sorry
Matchy: How about now?
CrazySponge: nah, i don't really feel like it.
Narrator: And all this writing magic happens right here in the room you'll certainly write home about, the writing room.
CrazySponge: lock can you stop spamming the script.
Lock: What spam?
[Pan over the script on a computer screen, which is overflowing with funny Donkey Kong gifs.]
Purple: What show are we writing again?
Matchy: Fantastic Beach, at least we're trying to anyway.
Purple: Ah okay.
Lock: I don't see what the fuss is about, this show blows anyway.
Matchy: Then why are you here?
Lock: Because funny.
Polar: me too-
CrazySponge: (checks the computer screen) seriously what's with the spam?!
Narrator: Let's just uh… leave them to it.
[Scene cuts to Hoopla sliding to the right]
Narrator: Training
[Forest is somehow in the video]
Forest: Does this mean I can make a spin-off now?
Narrator: No.
Matchy: wait how did he get in the vid-
Narrator: Before you make a spin-off, you must understand the phrase POOF.
Forest: POOF?
Narrator: Once you understand POOF, you'll understand your place at BP. But what does POOF mean?
[Forest shrugs his arms]
Narrator: It's actually a carefully organized code. Watch closely. People Order Our Fanfictions.
Forest: Oh. POOF!
Matchy: POOF?
CrazySponge: the other option was piss, people inscribe sexy stories.
Matchy: POOF! I love POOF!
[Cut to Dan going onto the Box Productions website.]
Narrator: Here's a typical customer. I wonder what he wants. Well, if we just remember POOF, we can figure it out.
Dan: I think I'll order-
Narrator: Do you think he's going to order: A: a fancy dinner, B: a new hat, or C: funny Hoopla fanfiction?
Dan: -a Box Productions dildo, please.
Narrator: Ah, POOF. You never cease to amaze us.
[The scene changes to a giant Hoopla.]
Narrator: Now that you understand POOF, I bet you're ready to make a spin-off.
Forest: Spin-off!
[Forest runs towards the Hoopla panting, but gets hit by a giant fly swatter.]
Narrator: Ha! No. We haven't even covered the next topic: 
[Cut to CrazySponge and Matchy playing a game of Box Prodopoly. Matchy is wearing a banker uniform.]
Narrator: Monopolising!
CrazySponge: ah i like this game
[CrazySponge rolls the die and moves his Hoopla counter onto "SpongeBot's Company and Shit".]
Matchy: What you gonna do, Mr. Sponge?
CrazySponge: hmmm…. i think i might…. buy it!
Matchy: (rolls eyes) What a surprise.
Narrator: You see, our motto here at Box Productions is that "If someone else owns it, eventually, so will we!".
Forest: Oh, I get it! That's called falsely inflating our assets!
Golfpecks: This guy speaks my language!
CrazySponge: hey didn't we do this sketch last episode-
Forest: But what do we do with all this stuff after we buy it?
Narrator: (laughs) He's a card, isn't he?
CrazySponge: we don't do anything.
Forest: What?
Matchy: Yeah he just puts his name on it and lets them carry on as normal. He might also put it on our streaming service or something, I dunno.
Forest: But isn't this just a lot of effort for a fake company on a SpongeBob fanfiction website? I mean can you really be that obsessed with yourself that-
CrazySponge: CUT TO THE NEXT PART! CUT TO THE NE-
[Cuts to a laptop with a Hoopla plushie at the side.]
Narrator: Your Work Station.
[Forest is vacuuming the laptop.]
Narrator: It's important to keep your area tidy and free of droppings. But a clean workstation is only part of the job.
[Cuts to Forest thinking of fanfiction in a thought bubble of his.]
Narrator: To make the vision in your head a reality, you'll need supplies. And a good employee always keeps his supplies well-organized.
[Forest opens up a cabinet, then opens the bottom drawer to reveal a bunch of folders with names of symbols and writing supplies on there.]
Narrator: Very nice, Mr. 133. Not a pencil out of place. Now let's see how Jasbre keeps his work station.
CrazySponge: (smirks) it's funny because jasbre.
[Jasbre's work station is covered with papers and The Office GIFs. The duck is sprawled out sleeping with a magazine on his face and a "Do not disturb" sign hanging on his left foot.]
Forest: I'm so glad I don't work for Jasbre Corp.
Narrator: (chuckles) Me too.
Matchy: Yeah. Box Productions is the best evil corporation ever! 
[Jasbre wakes up.]
Jasbre: Huh? WHAT THE- GET OUT!
Matchy: Oh sh-
[Matchy and Forest run off.]
Jasbre: Can't people see I'm trying to get my beauty sleep in preparation for my work? My output this year will be huge! It's the Year of the Jasbre.
[Cut to Matchy and Forest in the lounge.]
Forest: Hey, Matchy. What kind of snacks do we have here?
Matchy: Oh, we don't really have any snacks.
[Matchy opens a drawer with a key.]
Matchy: But this is Aidan's secret stash of Cheerios.
Forest: It's all Cheerios?
Matchy: Always has been.
Narrator: Let's move on to one of the more psychological aspects of the job: Confronting Your Boss.
[Cut to Forest in CrazySponge's office.]
Forest: Can I have a raise?
CrazySponge: yeah sure
Narrator: Good job, Mr. 133.
[Forest runs up to the camera]
Forest: Can I make a spin-off now-
Narrator: Of course not! Before we can do that we need to go onto the front lines of the fanfiction battlefield and face our greatest for yet: the fanfiction readers.
Vanessa: Who? Me? Oh no, I don't actually read any of the fanfiction. I'm just here for the funnies.
Aaron: Yeah, me neither. I share selfies of my handsome face all the time though.
Forest: Wait, so no one here actually reads anything?
Matchy: I read things.
CrazySponge: you work for this company.
Forest: I thought Hoopla's Fantastic Beach was one of the most popular spin-offs in the city, how come no one keeps up with it?
Lock: Oh, the show is shit. It's only stuck around because funny Hoopla.
Vanessa: If you wanna check out some real entertainment, you should look towards No Malarkey in Bikini Bottom.
Forest: I thought you just said you don't read anything.
Vanessa: I don't, I just find the premise funny.
Forest: But that's literally just what Lock said he criticised about Hoop-
Matchy: Forest, I think you're just overthinking this. It's a fanfiction website of a kids' show.
Forest: But-
Narrator: Now that you've learned the basics of your training-
Forest: I haven't learned anything!
Narrator: It's time for the moment you've been waiting for!
[A blue screen appears with Hoopla slowly coming closer to the screen.]
Narrator: Da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-daa Da-da-da-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, tssshh Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa-da-da-da-da-daa, Ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ta-ta-la-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-la-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-la-ba-ba-baa, Ti-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ti-taa, Ti-ta-ti-li (gasps, then resumes) Ti-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ti-ti-taaaaa! Making a Spin-Off!
Forest: WHOOO! YEAH! ALRIGHT!
Matchy: And just like that he's back to normal.
Narrator: At the center of every great dynasty is the crown jewel, which keeps it alive and thriving! For Box Productions, this is its spin-offs. And now you, the humble employee of the industry, the all too necessary human resource that keeps this business afloat will earn the sacred and dark secrets of how to prepare with your very own hands… the sumptuous, the lip moistening, spine tingling, heart stopping pleasure center that is a spin-off!
CrazySponge: i have no idea what he's saying
Narrator: Are you ready?
[Forest nods excitedly.]
Narrator: Are you sure?
[Forest nods harder and his head explodes.]
Narrator: Okay, the secret to creating and maintaining a successful spin-off is-
[The video cuts off. We see footage of a man and a woman who resemble CrazySponge except much older dancing. The camera pans out to Forest watching the video in confusion.]
Forest: Wait what? That's it?
[Matchy enters.]
Matchy: Oh, I thought it would be done by now. So, what did you think? You wanna run away from here while you still can?
Forest: Why would I want to- Is that really the end of the video?
Matchy: Yeah. Aidan taped it over his parents' wedding video. It just cuts off at the end for some reason, I don't know why. It's underwhelming, I know.
Forest: So what is it then?
Matchy: What's what?
Forest: The secret to creating and maintaining a successful spin-off.
Matchy: Oh, that. Don't ask CrazySponge, that's for sure. There hasn't been an episode of Fantastic Beach in over five months.
Forest: Five months? 
Matchy: Yeah. I guess all of that was just a waste of time. (smirks) I'll bring you back to Aidan's office, I don't know what he wants you to do n-
Forest: I don't want to do anything now! I came all the way here with big dreams and hopes that I was gonna make it big and have a successful spin-off! But after that trainwreck of a video all I learnt was that I'm probably better off by myself! ...and also that Jasbre Corp.'s bad. CrazySponge couldn't give a shit about me! Good day, ma'am!
[Forest storms out of the building. Matchy stares, astonished.]
Matchy: ...huh, that kid has the right idea. Maybe he did actually learn something from that dumb video.
CrazySponge: (off-screen) MATCHY?! MATCHY!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! I NEED SOMEONE TO PICK MY NOSE FOR ME!!
Matchy: (sigh) Coming, sir.
[Matchy walks into CrazySponge's throne room.]
CrazySponge: ah, there you are. what took you so long. where's the new bitc- i mean, employee?
Matchy: Uh, he… he left, sir.
CrazySponge: WHAT?! HE CAN'T LEAVE!!
Matchy: Well… he did, and to be honest I don't blame him.
CrazySponge: (gasp) matchy! you're unwell! you know what, i don't need you to pick my nose. i'll get polar to do it. go and have a lie down or something.
Matchy: I don't want to!
CrazySponge: i am your boss and i command you to go and lie down!
Matchy: You know what? I have taken your shit for long enough, kid. For too long have I been under your command and have done whatever you wanted for nothing in return. Not even a simple 'thank you'. And if you're gonna do that to me, well, I don't know what to say. Except this: I quit.
[Pause. CrazySponge bursts out into hysterical laughter.]
CrazySponge: oh, matchy, you do make me laugh sometimes.
Matchy: I'm not joking, sir. I'm taking the first bus home and not coming back.
CrazySponge: wait what. you're serious? you can't do that!
Matchy: Yeah? Why not?
CrazySponge: i own the bus company!
Matchy: Well then I'll take the train home.
CrazySponge: we own the train company too.
Matchy: Then I'll walk.
CrazySponge: (rolls eyes) we also own the concept of walking. i can stop you if i really want to.
Matchy: Then I'll just run home.
CrazySponge: i also own the concept of running
Matchy: You know what? I don't give a donkey's ass if you own all forms of transportation. I'm leaving.
CrazySponge: yeah ri-
Matchy: And forget about the bedtime story. Good day, sir.
[Matchy turns around and walks out the building. CrazySponge's jaw is practically on the ground. Polar and SpongeBot awkwardly approach CrazySponge.]
SpongeBot: Ah, the joys of a SpongeBob fanfiction site.
CrazySponge: what are you looking at? he'll be back in five minutes. he's nothing without me.
Polar: You mean she?
CrazySponge: uh sure. i dont care
[CartoonGuy walks into the room.]
CrazySponge: what do you want?
CartoonGuy: I, uh, overheard everything and… I'm leaving too.
[CartoonGuy walks out and leaves.]
CrazySponge: i didn't know he worked for me.
SpongeBot: Me neither.
CrazySponge: well, nevermind. we'll just have to wait until they come back.
Timecard: Two hours later…
CrazySponge: they're just taking a little time, that's all
Timecard: Three days later…
CrazySponge: nothing wrong with thinking about things, right?
Timecard: One month later…
[pause]
SpongeBot: Aidan, I don't think-
CrazySponge: i know they're not coming back! well, you know what? frankly i didnt need them anyway. theyre a bunch of phonies. i know you two wouldnt leave me
[SpongeBot's watch beeps to the tune of The Flintstones theme song.]
SpongeBot: Oh, would you look at that? Time to go home.
Polar: cya tomorrow sir
[Polar and SpongeBot leave, leaving CrazySponge by himself. The lights go off and CrazySponge sits in the dark by himself for a few seconds.]
CrazySponge: ...well, it was fun while it lasted.
[pause]
CrazySponge: matchy? im scared. come back.
[Cut to black screen with the words "epilogue". Cut to Matchy accepting an award at an awards show.]
Narrator: After quitting Box Productions, Matchy went on to become a kind-of-but-not-really successful spin-off creator, even taking home a Square Logo Award for the best network.
[Cut to CartoonGuy and Lock handing out anti-Box Productions propaganda on SBFW Street.]
Narrator: With help from Matchy, CartoonGuy and Lock went on to spread the word of (to the tune of How Bad Can I Be) 🎵How ba-a-a-ad BP is🎵(normally) and attempted to cancel CrazySponge. We… don't really talk about this part.
[Cut to Forest sitting on a toilet.]
Narrator: Forest's life was pretty much completely unaffected by everything, and he went back to making funny episodes about poop.
[Cut to SpongeBot watching Channel 5 with her dad.]
Narrator: SpongeBot was contractually obligated to stay at Box Productions due to the co-ownership of Meme World.
[Cut to Polar making a funny Temmie episode.]
Narrator: Polar also stayed at Box Productions because it's a SpongeBob fanfiction website and why not. 
[Cut to Primitive sleeping.]
Narrator: And Primitive did absolutely nothing because he was never part of BP in the first place.
[Cut to the narrator, who is revealed to be Zoltan, in a writing room.]
Zoltan: Oh, and myself? Well I'm once again reminding you to go and read I hate my child. and hate on SpongeBot. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk, and good night.
Dan: ...alright! Who's ready for the Spectromite Training Video?!!!
Matchy: Would that even be allowed on FANDOM?
Dan: Well there's only one way to find out.
Matchy: NO! PLEASE DON'T-
[end]
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