The Cribstory

This is the fortieth episode of The SBFW Chronicles.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with Purple holding an old dusty book in front of multiple crib members in a small room)
Purple: Today, my children, I am telling the story of… The SBFW Crib.
Ace: But Purple, what is the SBFW Crib?
Purple: The Crib is a server that is not to be reckoned with. (blows dust off of a book) Once upon a time, a guy named Joel, who is very handsome I admit, was eating out a woman at the barber shop.
Ace: What does eating out a woman mean?
Purple: Shut the fuck up child.
Grizz: (whispers to Ace)
Ace: EWW! GROSS!
Purple: Now let's continue. So after Joel ate out the woman at the barber shop, he decided to boot up the good ol’ iPhone. It was the newest model, obviously. He opened an app known as Discord, and created a server. Little did he know, however, was that this would soon become what's known as the degenerate central.
Elmo 5: Daddy, what's a degenerate?
Joel: It's what you are, my child.
Elmo 5: YAY!
Purple: Let's talk about the first iteration of the server. Many slurs were said, many enemies were made, but most of all, September 13 happened. (sighs) Never forget…
(Purple puts his hand on his heart for exactly fifteen seconds)
Grizz: Get on with it!
Purple: Pipe down, will ya? I'm just paying my respects.
Grizz: I bet I get more rizz than you!
Purple: What the fuck bro. Anyways, let's continue. The first iteration of the server is no longer in use. We created a second server that we use today.
CrazySponge: But father Purple, what changed between the servers?
Purple: An excellent question, dumb one. The second server got rid of all possible democracy.
Elmo 5: YEA! ELMO 5 HATES DEMOCRACY!
Purple: We all like a little communism in our lives. All of our decisions are precluded by staff orgies.
Grizz: Can I join the next staff orgy?
Purple: Die. So let's talk about all the controversies, shall we?
CrazySponge: Ooh, ooh, I know some of those!
Purple: Do tell, unwise one.
CrazySponge: Shush. So first of all was the Box Productions vs. PI war, which we won by a lot. BP SWEEP!
Jess: Why I'd pump you full of-
Purple: Hey hey now, that's my job. Go back to your furrycon or whatever you kids do nowadays.
Jess: I AM NOT A FURRY! HMPH! (turns into a pink anthro fox wearing a maid outfit)
Purple: Niiice.
CrazySponge: AAAANYWAY, I also got canceled back in January 2019. I hate cancel culture, our stocks have never fully recovered since.
Purple: Yes, yes, very sad. Now, does anyone know who Rocky Lobster is?
Grizz: He's the Nazi guy, right?
Purple: I mean is there anything wrong with that- I mean yes. He is the Nazi guy. The bogeyman of our community, perhaps. I mean, have you seen what has happened around here before?
Elmo 5: Elmo 5 is only one year old. Idiot.
Purple: Go sit in the meanie corner.
(Elmo 5 sits in the corner of the room and pouts)
Purple: Hopefully she doesn't plan on reviving Thatcher or anything. Anyway, Rocky is nothing but bad news. It's a good thing that we don't have to worry about him anymore.
(Suddenly, a figure crashes through the room)
???: HERE’S ROCKY!
(Everyone else screams)
Purple: I knew I shouldn't have used the women's restroom for our story room.
Mr. Poo: Ha! Gotcha!
Purple: Ayyy, Mr. Poo! Nice to meet you!
Mr. Poo: Ooh, are you doing a story time? Can I join?
Purple: Yes and no. There's not quite enough room in here with you here now.
Mr. Poo: Aww. Mr. Poo… (flies through the ceiling, breaking it) away!
Purple: I’LL PUMP YOU FULL OF LEAD FOR THIS!
Mr. Poo: Like whoa!
Purple: (groans) I'm sorry everyone. It seems our story time will have to be cut short today. I'll read the ending though. Ahem. Everyone in the SBFW Crib lived happily ever after. And to Diezel Raccoon, I love you so much and I'll miss you…
Grizz: What?! Where's the plot twist? The action?!
Elmo 5: Boo! Get to the sex!
Ace: I hope your toilet paper faces the wrong way tonight.
Purple: (closes book) Pff, welp, that's the end of that. (gets up) If anybody needs me I'll be eating out a woman at the salon.
Grizz: I still have better rizz than you.
Purple: Aight bro that's it.
(Purple grabs a pump from his pocket, attaches it to Grizz’s head, and starts pumping it full of lead)
Ace: Holy shit he wasn't kidding.
(Grizz turns into a literal lead ball)
Purple: Now, if you'll excuse me-
(Purple walks out of the bathroom pervertedly)
Ace: So…. does anyone want to admit to being a furry?
Jess: (visibly sweating)
(The episode ends)
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