Ten Commandments of Bart

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Ten Commandments of Bart is the fifth track on The Yellow Album. It is a rap song done by Bart with some help from Lisa, Maggie and Homer. The song was written by Simpsons creator Matt Groening and Greg Haver.
==Lyrics==
:Bart:
:Ha ha ha ha ha!
:Singers:
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(If you wanna be happy!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:Bart:
:Ladies and gentlemen, hello, it's Bart again.
:Here to mention rules that I'd like to recommend,
:'Cause like it or lump it, this is Simpson-style,
:And this I demand: Don't touch that dial!
:I got your attention, so you'd better listen up!
:Dance if you must, but please don't interrupt!
:'Cause the singing I'm slingin' comes straight from the heart.
:I call this little song "The Ten Commandments of Bart".
:Singers:
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(If you wanna be happy!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:Bart:
:Let us begin with commandment number ten:
:Thou shalt be sure to shake your big rear end.
:Shake it for your mama, and shake it for when
:You wanna party-harty and get down in the den!
:Getting funky in the rumpus room would be kinda hip.
:You bring the chips, I'll bring the bean dip.
:By this, I mean shake your gluteus maximus,
:Make everybody happy, give them satisfactimus!
:Now comes a time for commandment number nine.
:It's goes something like this: Thou shalt always make rhymes.
:'Cause rhyming is a way, man, to make your own news.
:Better than CNN, better than Family Values.
:Don't get me misconstrued, I'm not tryin' to be crude,
:But a bad attitude will put you in a good mood.
:It ain't true that our culture's in a decline,
:Just listen to the super-fine, spine-shaking bass line.
:(bass synth solo)
:Now you're itchin' and twitchin' to this mucho bewitchin',
:The hip-hop tune that I'm presently hatchin'.
:Hold on to your hats, because here comes the scratchin'!
:(DJ does some scratching and the song stops abruptly)
:Who did that?
:(song restarts abruptly)
:Let's cruise, shall we now, to commandment number eight,
:Goes exactly like this: Thou shalt procrastinate!
:Put another way, this means you must be late,
:Whenever you can, make everybody wait.
:When homework is due, don't give in to fate.
:But do say: teacher, guess what, the dog ate it.
:Of all the commandments, none can be greater...
:If you want more details, come back later!
:Singers:
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(If you wanna be happy!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:Bart:
:Movin' right along, here's commandment number seven:
:Thou shalt go wild, 'cause you'll never get to Heaven.
:You don't say "No," you do say "Yo!"
:You hear bad songs, turn up on the radio.
:Then, when you're dead, Fred, where you gonna go?
:You're going down low, where the rocks grow.
:The whole scene looks like a heavy metal video
:Except no guitars, 'cause, wouldn't ya know,
:It's swell down in Hell except...
:The Devil plays the banjo.
:Ha ha ha ha ha!
:Next up here is commandment number six,
:It goes like this: Thou shalt dance like lunatics.
:Got to get movin' and shakin' and groovin'
:And hoppin' and moppin' and flippity-floppin'.
:(the drums drop out)
:Hey, what happened? Beat box is broke.
:Maggie, come here quick, I'm starting to choke.
:Come on girl, here's the deal, I'm really stuckin',
:I need your help, so, Maggie, please start suckin'.
:(Maggie sucks her pacifier rhythmically)
:Oh, yeah, that's it, that's what I require,
:An inspired baby sister with an ultra-hip pacifier.
:(beat box drops back in, but Maggie continues to suck)
:And now we arrive at commandment number five.
:Short and sweet: Thou shalt be alive.
:Take off your pants, strut around in the nude.
:If somebody sees you, say "What's happenin', dude?"
:Oh, yeah, now we're starting to soar.
:The countdown continues: commandment number four!
:I say unto you: Thou shalt slam the door.
:Wake up the neighbors, that's what it's for.
:Slam it again. And slam it some more.
:Now you got a beat that never happened before.
:Singers:
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(If you wanna be happy!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:Bart:
:Which brings us on to commandment number three:
:Thou shalt question authority.
:'Cause authority hates curiosity,
:Which leads straight to originality.
:From there, my friends, spontaneity.
:And the downward spiral straight to mockery.
:Then a hop and a skip to mutiny.
:Then mutiny leads to anarchy.
:Then a...
:(Homer cuts Bart off)
:Homer:
:Bart! Knock it off! Turn it down!
:Bart:
:Okay, okay. Here's commandment number two:
:Thou shalt do exactly what you wanna do.
:Get a tattoo, eat a honeydew,
:Raid a taboo, paint your head blue.
:If you're bald, go buy a toupee.
:If you're starved, go eat a souffle.
:If you're crazy, get on the subway.
:If you're bored, dance on the freeway.
:If you're sexy, put on a negligee.
:'Cause this is what I have to say:
:Hurray for horseplay, gotta have horseplay.
:Besides that, man, eh, what the hey!
:And now at last, it's commandment number one.
:Put quite simply,
:Bart and Singers:
:Thou shalt have fun!
:Singers:
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(If you wanna be happy!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(If you wanna be happy!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
:Thou shalt have fun!
:Thou shalt have fun!
:Lisa:
:That was pretty cool, huh? (giggles)
Category:Songs
Category:Songs by Bart
Category:Original Songs