Dilbert Dogbert

Dilbert Dogbert, American.
- Dilbert_Dogbert, when asked to describe himself during an MPBS interview.
Dilbert_Dogbert is an American cowboyLook at his hat, bandana, and gunbelt., anti-establishment political activist, co-founder of the late M`76 street gangMayflower 76 Official Testimony, inventor of Wikipedia, inventor of the recreational vehicle (RV), outspoken firearms enthusiast, founder of the Mayflower NRA chapter, Most Wanted Man In America and sex iconRanked #4 on Mayflower's Most Sexy born in Clark County, Mayflower.
==Biography==
===Early Life===
[[File:Dilbert Dogbert Hawthorn.webp|thumb|257x257px|Dilbert_Dogbert with a Hawthorn 500 inside Ace's, Plymouth, standing infront of an American flag all badass-like.]]
 (Spoiler: He is not Jewish.)
Dilbert_Dogbert lived on the Dogbert Family Ranch, property of his great grandfather Dilbert Hemingway Doogle Izeekual Tucker McCarlson McSean Hannity O'Trump Dogbert IIIIndependant fact-checkers have confirmed this., for most of his adolescence. During this time he worked on the family ranch farming for wheat and grains, which were to be used for his grandfather's flag ship invention: Organic Flax Plus Cereal. At age thirteen, Dilbert_Dogbert began to develope an interest in firearms, as he was given the one and only Delino 1711 for his birthday - this was due to his family's connection to the Delino company. (They also had ties to the Hawthorn Company, Bennetti, Third MotorsHe has a Third Motors T-Shirt in his inventory on Roblox., Hughes, McDoogle Corporation, The Union Forevor, MPBS, and every other national company in the NHC universe.)
Dilbert_Dogbert became a specialist shooter at age nineteen, and won several Clark County shooting competitions.Clark County News Paper Archives While attending these competitions, Dilbert_Dogbert began to accrue a fanbase of lively, local, attractive single women who would attend annually in tribute. Dilbert_Dogbert never courted any of them because he went temporarily deaf in one ear, and thought they were booing him when they were actually cheering - Although, they're old and ugly now so pay no mind to them.
Dilbert_Dogbert moved to New Haven County at age twenty two and established residence within Tall Oaks, B.B.'s Trailer City, in the left-end brown trailer on the north end of the park, although due to Dilbert_Dogbert's suspicion that his former heist buddy from back home would realize he isn't actually dead and sold him out to the feds would come looking for him while under witness protection, he hid all traces of his residence. (That's why the mailbox is blank.)
===Ventures In Business===
Thirty years before whenever you're reading this article Dilbert_Dogbert realized that blunt instruments, now known as baseball bats, could be used to hit a white naked man potentially up to twenty yards far. When locals were told of this, an enthusiastic community formed around the past-time. This is how the sport Baseball was created. That same year, Dilbert_Dogbert helped finance the Lander Baseball Stadium for the up-and-coming City of Lander. At the time, all involved assumed it was a great investment and would surely pay off thanks to America's favorite Mayflower baseball club being so close; The McDoogle Camera Smashers, although they failed to predict that MPBS would never fucking host sporting events these days. So ashamed by this business failure, Dilbert_Dogbert removed all banners, titles, and affiliations with this stadium.
Dilbert_Dogbert was involved with the start-up of The Tobias Detroit Motors Company two years later, after he saw a car driving down the street and remarked that he "could do that." At this point, Dilbert_Dogbert knew nothing about automobiles apart from the Thirdson tractor that he operated on the Dogbert Family Ranch, and drove to New Haven County with. Dilbert_Dogbert mailed a check for $5 (which was a lot of money back then) to a Mr. Tobias Detroit Motors in Detroit, Michigan. Dilbert_Dogbert was enthralled with the company what-with Detroit's reputation of being a clean and prosperous city where industry thrived, although later learned that the check had bounced due to Mr. Tobias Motors being a tourist and not yet joining the State of Mayflower Roblox Group or Discord Server - for he [Dilbert_Dogbert] hadn't invented them yet.
Roughly five years later, during a low point caused by financial errors, Dilbert_Dogbert lost the rights to his residence and began couch surfing day and night until he could get back on his feet. It would have been easy if he stopped surfing with fucking couches, got out of the water, and got a job - but he was never the brightest tool in the shed. Despite The impression his magnanimous achievements might leave. During this period is when the idea for a mobile home hit him.Story found on the owner's manual of the XS series Trail Destroyer. Utilizing discarded furniture found in the Plymouth gorge and the cab of a Conveyor bought from a police auction, (allegedly used in the kidnapping, raping and murder of nineteen Lander city residents in 1977 btw!!) Dilbert_Dogbert constructed the template for the first mobile home. The vehicle was titled "The Homer". MPBS Business reports from the time indicate that this invention was never patented, or copyrighted; this would explain why the Trail Destroyer is currently the most popular line of recreational vehicles sold in the State of Mayflower. Clearly Dilbert_Dogbert doesn't hold any resentment relating to this, as he is one of the most notable owners of a Trail Destroyer.
===Middle Management===
During a surge of criminal syndicates venturing into illegal narcotics distribution in the East Coast roughly from February to August in 2014, when questioned on the subject Bloomberg Business referenced Dilbert_Dogbert as an example of a positive business role model; to quote the article: "Dilbert_Dogbert is a legitimate businessman, who was wrongly accused of leading a Mexican-American narcotics gang." And, that the charges were all dropped on account of the witnesses ending up, missing.A 2014 Bloomberg Business Article This is likely because Dilbert_Dogbert is an American, and not a Mexican. Therefore it would make no sense from a business perspective to associate with Mexicans.
==Political Activism==
Dilbert_Dogbert has had an extensive history of political activism within the State of Mayflower, some centered around very controversial or pertinent topics, and others very niche. Depending on the moon cycle, his political views may fall somewhere between an ultra-radical, authoritarian, jingoist war hawking Neo-Conservative prone to inconceivable conspiracy theories, or, an anti-establishment, right-of-center liberal.According to a political compass chart I saw.
===The War on McDoogle===
Dilbert_Dogbert has long had an expressed hatred for the celebrity-business mogul and private security contractor Brian McDoogle, for his belief that Brian McDoogle should be held responsible as a war criminal for his involvement with funding several hostile, opposing non-government militia groups that have operated within the State of Mayflower over the years; causing various casualties and conflicts. Dilbert_Dogbert has also tried to assassinate Brian McDoogle on more than one occasion.
===The Blackadder Protest===
While waiting for a bus with his friends at The Blackadder Armory, Lander, Dilbert_Dogbert and his mates were arrested by the Mayflower National Guard, and removed from the premises. The trio later decided to drive a convoy of Trail Destroyers along the highway through the borders of the armory.Blackadder Protest After a small confrontation the national guard opened fire on the three; taking one Trail Destroyer down.
===January 6th Insurrection===
BrainwashedAccount from Hillary Clinton by 45th American President, Leader of the most sprawling White-Supremacist movement in the Western Hemisphere, Republican death-cult leader, destroyer of civilization and Fox News' darlingFrom a report by CNN; Donald J. Trump, Dilbert_Dogbert stormed into The Capitol Building at 9:35am ET on January 6th, 2021 along with a crowd of fellow Trump-Sympathizers and right wing extremists in the attempt to leverage representatives into removing the fairly-elected 46th President, Joseph R. BidenThe Liberal Media, through the use of terrorism and violence. After trespassing in the capitol, the crowd were eventually met by a police response, and conflict arose as the police attempted to diffuse the situation by firing live rounds at the crowd and bludgeoning one of the aggressors to death - who thankfully was unarmed, by order of the governor. It was at this time Dilbert_Dogbert, along with the three other right wing nut-jobs accompanying him, realized they had stormed the Lander City Capitol building, which is not the same as the Federal Capitol in Washington D.C.some dweeb who reads books and maps!!
==Criminal Involvement==
Throughout his tenure within New Haven County, Dilbert_Dogbert has been involved with multiple criminal syndicates including street gangs, foreign and domestic terrorist organizations, was in BLM until they stopped burning cities down, was in a few Mexican-American cartels, and paramilitary organizations.
===Mayflower 76 (M76)===
The Mayflower 76 was founded on March 17, 2019 by Dilbert_Dogbert and fellow InfoWars contributor Jass114. The gang operated out of the eastern district of the City of Plymouth, claiming everywhere as territory between Main Street and Harbor Road. Dilbert_Dogbert's involvement in the M76 was monumental as he was the highest in command during the gangs operation, he also designed the gang's clothing and insignia.User:Mayflower76
===3rd Army===
Dilbert_Dogert was a member of 3rd Army for a short time during early-to-mid 2021.
===New Haven SuperStraights (N.H.S)===
Dilbert_Dogbert joined Khaytelrockaleber in committing a violent demonstration of their support of the Superstraight sexual orientation, by dawning the colors of the flag (black and orange) and committing murders across the county against those who they found not to support the movement. The NHS were disbanded that same day.
===Nation of Bloxtotska===
In June 2021, he joined a hostile secessionist group known as the Nation of Bloxtotska. Dilbert_Dogbert participated with multiple attacks on peace officers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qLOdEBvTJg He holds the rank of Bloxtotskan Home Guardhttps://www.roblox.com/groups/10635684/The-Nation-Of-Bloxtotska#!/about - the defensive, chauvinist regiment of Bloxtotska.
Dilbert_Dogbert appears in two different YouTube videos published by Bloxtotska Official, Bloxtotskan Fight Club and Taking Initiative - the latter of which features footage captured by him.
===The Democratic Party===
It was like for a joke or something. I don't know. On July 3rd, 2018 he recounted in a One America News (OAN) interview "My time spent in the Demon-rat-infested [Democratic] Party was possibly my most regretful contribution to the criminal justice system. I could kill a child in cold blood, on television, back then and they'd cheer me on in the media so long as I brought them [Democrat Politicians] the corpse."Based!
==Films==
===Splooge Haven County (Pornography Film)===
With the rise of pornographic home films in the 1970s and 1980s in the United States, Dilbert_Dogbert directed and starred in an independently funded adult film titled Splooge Haven County under the stage name "Dildo_Doggystyle" on September 7th, 1987. Accounts describe the premise of the film was that a female tourist (played by a very sexy burner account) is cited for illegally assaulting a tree with a baseball bat, and an 'MSPenis' Officer, Dildo_Doggystyle, exchanges sexual intercourse in favor for the tourist's legal immunity.
The film was banned by Governor ShadA under the State Enforced Homosexuality Act of 2001 envelope.
===I Can't Breathe! (Documentary)===
In May 2020 following the infamous death of George Floyd, attributed to have been caused by Officer Derik Chauvin of the Minneapolis Police Department, a documentary investigating 'racial tensions, power, and prejudice' within the State of Mayflower and its' academic institutions was commissioned by the New Haven Black Lives Matter chapter and directed by Dilbert_Dogbert.
===I Can't Breathe, But I Can Sing! (Musical)===
A subsequent musical was produced in April 12, 2020 loosely following the death of George Floyd in Minneapolis. The musical contains fun, humorous adaptations of the altercation with police and witnesses, news media controversy, local Black Lives Matter demonstrations, and a Ku Klux Klan rally, (lead by James Woods).
Dilbert_Dogbert made an appearance portraying Fox News anchor Tucker Carlson, singing "They're At It Again! (When Will it End?)" during act three.
==Trivia==
*Won 4th place in the Mayflower's Most Sexy community poll.
*Is known to make sexual euphemisms relating to hamburgers, such as referencing "quarter pounders (with cheese)" and "special sauce".
*Has a sweet mullet, although, it's usually obscurred in favor of a shaved look, paired with a brown Stetson.
**Occasionally wears a cheeseburger platter, with fries, as a hat.
*Dilbert_Dogbert drives a Trail Destroyer as his main car. Some of his other go-to vehicles are the ElDorado 4x4 and Crusader Classic.
**Dilbert_Dogbert has made love in his RV on many occasions, and made love to it many more.
*His sexually is SuperStraight
*Once stole a bus.
*Dilbert_Dogbert's favorite song is "Rocket To Her Moons" by the alternative Israeli pornogrind band Alien Fucker.
==Citations==
Category:People
Category:Veterans