Harriet Splooge

Harriet Splooge (née Johnson) (Mary Holland) has been the librarian at Hamilton High School for 12 years and was the guest on Season 1, Episode 2 of the Teacher's Lounge.
Harriet changed her name upon marrying Eddie Cum, her boyfriend of 5 years. However, after they annulled their marriage one month later, instead of going back to her maiden name of Johnson, she chose to go by the name Splooge. Harriet claims that Eddie literally, figuratively, metaphorically, emotionally, and mentally screwed her over a fence (specifically a barbed wire fence by the side of a cow pasture).
Ms. Splooge is a major advocate of reading and laments the fact that students only come into the library for the internet or making out as well as the fact that the school's book fair was unsuccessful (apart from the fact that Howard Levi's bought all the Avril Lavigne posters). Because of this, Ms. Splooge has implemented several schemes to attempt to get students interested in reading.
One such scheme was an attempt to make books sexy by taking several pictures of her nude body next to books. The website she created to showcase her photos, booktease.biz, did become popular, though unfortunately not with the Hamilton student body, and was forced by the principal to take the site down. However, booktease.angelfire (a site with essentially the same content only slower to load and harder to view on a phone) is still online. As punishment for the site, Harriet received a week of detention and was forced to clean the city's entire fleet of buses with her toothbrush while they were in motion. Many of the buses' drivers and passengers recognized Ms. Splooge from her website.
In another attempt to get kids to read, she would write one line of poetry a day and post it outside the library. When this didn't work, she would scream the line of poetry down the hallway during class.
Ms. Splooge once tried to coax students into the library with a hot corn stand. However, the stand exploded burning down the entire nonfiction section of the library. This incident was her "second strike" and, if called into the principal's office once more, she will receive corporal punishment and be expelled.
Ms. Splooge has water bugs in her house. She fills her bathtub when taking a shower to make it feel as though she's in a waterfall. She has also admitted to urinating multiple times while submerged in her bathtub.
Category:Characters
Category:Mary Holland
Category:Season 1