November's Fool/Transcript

The camera fades in, the player standing in an elevator. Shortly after, the elevator opens and Heatdown throws several props at the player, the player ducking and dodging all of them. The player looks up a bit, but is interrupted by a clockwork Gravity Hammer. Pan into the room.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): I don't mean to alarm you, dude...
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): But I think you missed all of those.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Oh, quiet! I nearly hit one!
Cooldown: It's cool. We can just keep them around.
Cooldown (looking at Nemesis): YO, NEMMY!
Cooldown (looking at Nemesis): DO YOU MIND IF WE KEEP THE NEW GUY AROUND?
Nemesis (looking at Nemesis): Don't call me that for the LOVE of the LORD!
Nemesis (looking at Nemesis): And sure, I don't care that much.
Cooldown: Sweet stuff, new guy.
Cooldown: The most "I Hate Everyone" person you don't know doesn't care that you're here.
Nemesis (looking at Nemesis): Do you want me to go in there and kill them for you?!
Cooldown: No, not really, no.
Cooldown (looking at the player): Hey, new guy, anything to say?
Cooldown: The silent type, I see?
Cooldown: That's cool. I can get behind that.
Cooldown: Make yourself feel at home.
Cooldown: And you don't, uh, have to stand at that elevator.
Cooldown: I can put up a seat for you. You may get wiped if you stand for this long.
Cooldown: No? Okay.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): You talk to them like you've known them since high school.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Hey, if they're cool with us, even though you threw a bunch of stuff at them...
Cooldown: They might as well be welcome here.
Heatdown (looking at the player): That's fair. Hey, bro.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): They may not like it if you have that in your hand.
Heatdown: Trust me, it's nowhere near as brutal as you're making it.
Heatdown: Say, uh... Cooldown. Dude.
Heatdown: You remember that last time someone invaded?
Cooldown: Oh, the time you actually hit?
Heatdown: To be fair, this time I wasn't sharpening Nemesis's beloved katana.
Heatdown: What's so damn good about this thing?
Nemesis: SAY WHAT?
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Don't tell me you don't know, bro.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): I genuinely don't.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): You've absolutely been living under a rock. That is THE Epic Katana.
Heatdown (looking at the player): Well, in my defense, I wasn't expecting it to be...
Heatdown: ...a pitch black katana that sparkles random colors every now and then.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): If anyone else were to hear you right now, you'd be dead.
Cooldown: You are clueless.
Heatdown: Just what does this thing even do? It has a majority of our katanas combined, so what?
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): So WHAT? Each colored katana has it's own abilities, dude!
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Each one has special abilities?
Cooldown: ...Dude.
Nemesis: You have a lot to learn about, Heatdown.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): Oh, shut up you bag of bolts!
Heatdown: How about you chew your food with that lisp of yours!
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): It is not that serious Heatdown, calm down.
Cooldown: Nemesis is just messing with ya.
Heatdown: Whatever.
Nemesis: Whatever.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Oh, about this katana, actually...
Heatdown: What did they say it could do?
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Oh, I'll list it for you, actually!
Cooldown: Your katana, Crimson, has terrific agility powers, dealing terrific damage to whoever it hits.
Cooldown: You can send pillars flying at people, some stuff to do with rings, countering...
Cooldown: There's Gold...
Cooldown: It turns whoever it kills into a valuable gold statue.
Cooldown: It is what keeps the Epic Katana's dilligence, without it it would simply break in half.
Cooldown: It can slash projectiles midair and make it home into opponents.
Cooldown: There's also Jade.
Cooldown: Jade is cool, it's all about accuracy and agility.
Cooldown: It requires you to have great marksman aim and has some cool tricks to it.
Cooldown: Like for example, it has the power to summon things.
Cooldown: It can't summon by itself, though. You need to forge it.
Cooldown: They say that with a legendary combo and with the training of the Dragon...
Cooldown: ...you could summon one.
Cooldown: I might just find and experiment this, however I think Nemesis is gonna get to it first.
Cooldown: Blue is an interesting one.
Cooldown: It's all about the art of faking out and doing heavy and risky moves.
Cooldown: It's hard to train, but it pays off real well.
Cooldown: It can have huge blasts of energy spawn out of seemingly nowhere.
Cooldown: Iris is my favorite.
Cooldown: It requires the lovely natural art of dual-handing the katana.
Cooldown: In which, you don't know.
Nemesis: Yeah, speak of which, why don't you dual hand your katana, Heatdown?
Nemesis: It's how you're meant to use it.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): Oh, I do know!
Heatdown: I just like to do cool stuff.
Cooldown: I know you're a showoff, we've known eachother for years.
Heatdown: We've been more than friends for years, at that.
Heatdown: Way, way more.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Best years of my life, dude.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Still don't feel aged since then.
Nemesis: SHUT UP!
Nemesis: WE HAVE PEOPLE HERE!
Cooldown (looking at Nemesis): Right, right.
Cooldown: Anyway, the Iris katana unravels a nasty slash and an even funnier throw.
Cooldown: It's like a boomerang, and shoots back to the user's hand.
Cooldown: It's gimmick is really just awesome and powerful in general.
Cooldown: I've yet to find a user, but I'll definitely remark them.
Cooldown: And finally, we have Orcherous.
Cooldown: The Epic Katana would not form if it wasn't for it.
Cooldown: It's the most powerful keystone of the katanas, having every gig the katanas do but better and more easy to perform with.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Then why use anything prior?
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): There's literally only 3 ever found. And you just threw one. And you are holding one in your hand.
Heatdown: ...right.
Heatdown: Weird.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): Oh, right! Nemesis, didn't they say something about your sword?
Nemesis: Oh, my blade?
Nemesis: I need the Epic Katana you're holding to even operate it.
Nemesis: Something about fusing it, and it finally using the inherited power you guys gave me.
Cooldown: You barely use your tiger abilities, both of you.
Heatdown: It's situational and is used whenever. It's there for emergencies, but otherwise it's convenient if anything.
(A silhouette fades in and out on screen.)
Cooldown (looking at Nemesis): OH! THAT LEGEND!
Cooldown (looking at Nemesis): Nemesis, the linked sword!
Nemesis: Oh Lord, you're right!
Nemesis: That ancient thing!
Nemesis: I have no clue how they lost it.
Nemesis: It is every sort of busted.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): Me neither.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): You don't just lose a sword like that.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): What did it do again?
Cooldown: Incredible strength, teaching the holder upon it being picked up...
Cooldown: I don't know, if it's THAT legendary...
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): ...maybe it declined us because we're an evil company or something?
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Not far off, the boss sucks sometimes.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Heh, sometimes isn't how I'd put it.
Cooldown: I'd love to get out of here.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Maybe that garden they keep talking about we could try to get to.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Nah, we lack the equipment.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Plus, I doubt it'd be that easy.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): It'd probably be an occasion where only one of us can get out, and the other has to find another way.
Heatdown: This place upsets me. It gets boring.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): You could've just brought your phone with you...
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): IT WAS A FISHING TRIP!!!
Cooldown: Ah, this is why you're great.
Heatdown: Say, how'd YOU get here, Nemesis?
Nemesis: ...
Nemesis: I don't wanna talk about it.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): Why not?! We met, and I was cool with you until you acted out on me!
Nemesis: I don't wanna think about it anymore.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): You're being immature!
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Dude, just stop.
Cooldown: He doesn't wanna talk about it, don't make him.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Fine!
Heatdown: I'm just curious, is all.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Oh, don't you two sleep in the same bed?
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): How do you even-
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): I don't.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): This guy just keeps whistling.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): It's not his fault, he DOES have an abnormal head.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Heh, abnormal's a way to put it.
Nemesis: I CAN HEAR YOU!!!
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): Why do you whistle so damn loud?!
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): I can BARELY SLEEP!!
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): I only get 2 hours, too!
Nemesis: I snore a lot.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): UNDERSTATEMENT, THAT IS NOT SNORING.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): THAT IS LIKE THE LOUDEST TRAIN HORN EVER IN MY EAR WHILE I SLEEP.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): You a morning person, Heatdown?
Heatdown: UUUUUUGHHHH.
Cooldown: Not like you'd be one.
Cooldown: After all, I am the one that makes breakfast.
Heatdown: I typically burn things I make.
Cooldown: I'd be a liar if I said I didn't enjoy seeing it happen.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Oh, oh! And the Colas.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): What about 'em?
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Which ones are your favorites?
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Uh... Suda7 and definitely Teapot Tome.
Nemesis: Heh, Teapot Tome.
Nemesis: I sometimes drink it.
Heatdown (looking at Nemesis): I imagine it's your equivalent of Spinach for Mr. Anchor Guy.
Nemesis: Y'know, I just shouldn't speak.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Teapot is just fun to drink.
Heatdown: It's absolutely a pity they're making them overpriced.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): You're reminding me that they made Orbital 30 more coins.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): 30 COINS?!
Cooldown: I was crying, you wouldn't believe it.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): I can't imagine if they did that to Suda7...
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Shhhh... don't jinx it.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): I don't need any more disaster to unfold.
Heatdown: Right. I don't get this company.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): When did they say we were going to be called?
Cooldown: In a couple of minutes, maybe?
Heatdown: I look forward to that.
Heatdown: Anyways, I like Orbital.
Cooldown: I'm more surprised it isn't your favorite.
Cooldown: It fizzles in your mouth, it's really fun.
Heatdown: Eh, anything tops that Wizard drink.
Cooldown: Ugh, that one's just annoying if anything.
Heatdown: It's too... carbonated... for my tastes.
Cooldown: Funny. You tend to drink a lot of carbonated drinks.
Heatdown: Carbonated water is NOT it.
Cooldown: Questionable opinion, but you do you.
Nemesis: If only I could taste.
Heatdown: Kind of a relief you don't.
Nemesis: Eh, true.
Nemesis: I don't really miss my senses.
Nemesis: Was more like an aching pain if anything.
Heatdown: I'm more surprised you don't live with a constant headache.
Nemesis: What makes you say that? I do.
Heatdown: Maybe that's why you're so easy to upset.
Nemesis: That's not a bad conclusion.
Cooldown: But that's implying he feels there.
Nemesis: I do.
Cooldown: Oh.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): And Uboa?
Heatdown: I don't really see anyone drink that.
Heatdown: You just scream, and that's really it.
Heatdown: Slateskin is definitely up there though.
Cooldown: I almost forgot that existed.
Heatdown: It's awesome, though!
Cooldown: It is, and I tend to forget that I once went on a drinking spree on it.
Heatdown: That wasn't a good time.
Cooldown: It wasn't.
Cooldown: Clear-451 may be my favorite, though.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): I love arson!
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): I know.
Heatdown: D'awww...
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): How come we have to do a bunch of side-gigs?
Cooldown: Our killings just don't even make the money to pay for the fees here, we have to do more than that.
Cooldown: It's boring and annoying.
Heatdown: I wonnder why they make us put up to that.
Heatdown: How often is it they're gonna make us put up to having to do the dumbest thing just to get a hustle?
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Like, every week?
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): I can't even save up anymore with these fees.
Cooldown: How the hell are we gonna get snacks?
Nemesis: You guys also have a terrible living situation?
Nemesis: As much as I hate to say it, I'm kind of screwed as well.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Great to know I'm not the only one.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): There really is no point of having to pay for our stay.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): All the gigs we get to do always are on just some interlopers, always getting into their damn business like it's theirs...
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Do they not get exhausted? I do.
Heatdown: It's stupid and I'm not really going to put up with it for longer.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): How about we just kill all of them?
Cooldown: That's a horrid idea.
Nemesis: Yeah, no.
Nemesis: We're not trying to get in trouble over some people bypassing the easiest gate known to man in a 'forbidden area'.
Nemesis: Their fault for not putting up better security.
Cooldown: It's whatever.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): Wait, do you still make art?
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): Uh.. yeah?
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): It's been a while, but I still draw.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): I met this dude in some shop, selling a bunch of items like he was having some sort of gift shop in the midst of Hell.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): I talked to him for a bit, but he was interested when I brought up the fact that I draw.
Heatdown: He then told me he draws too, then showed me his stuff.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): It's uh, something, but I'm not one for antropomorphic looking animals.
Cooldown (looking at Heatdown): You could've said he draws those from the get go, really.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): No, but they're really cool looking.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): It's kind of the catalyst for what's gotten me back into drawing.
Heatdown: Hopefully I get to meet that guy again.
Heatdown: He was pretty cool..
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): What was his name? Artery? Arty? Artist?
Cooldown: Arty sounds like a name.
Heatdown: ...Eh, I don't think he'd care if I get it wrong.
Heatdown (looking at the player): Yo, you.
Heatdown (looking at the player): I'm a bit curious.
Heatdown (looking at the player): How did you come here?
Heatdown (looking at the player): Did something lead you here, or..?
Cooldown: You're forgetting they can't speak.
Heatdown: ...right.
Heatdown (looking at Cooldown): How does this keep happening?.
Heatdown: People just somehow getting in like crazy?
Heatdown: I don't know, the Lord may just be really dumb.
A bell tolls, implied to be their signal for a mission.
Cooldown (looking at the player): That's our cue.
Heatdown (looking at the player): Oh, and uh, before the elevator goes.. have this.
The badge is given to the player, the player slowly enters the elevator. The screen slowly fades out, and the player is teleported back to the lobby.