Whats been going on with me

Hey guys so incase you are all wondering who i am its me ( Amy), i just want to come on here and talk about whats wrong with my life and lost people. so here it goes, grab a snack and a drink its gonna be a long run. 
So not many of you guys may know but i moved away from PA to UT for personal reasons, its been amazing begin here in UT enjoying a fresh start in life. I get to meet new people and do other things i couldn't do at home. I was enjoying every bit of it until on my birthday, that's when i lost everything in a short amount of time. it started with me not using my manners and acting like a brat. i was a hug jerk to them but now i don't have them anymore. 
Remember Kaisy, well me and her aren't friends anymore due to her doing drugs since then i stopped talking to her. ( side note their is more to this part but a bit later) my friend with kaisy is rocky but with tiffanie its mostly my screw ups so its going down very bad. 
This is the one thing i shouldn't been getting into but WARNING its about suicide so you can skip this part if you are triggered. i've been thinking about he after life on how people would smile and be happier without me around anymore, about people not having so much weight on my shoulders. its been rough for me so far this year. this hurts me the most for me to say that i wanted to move out of UT and just stay in PA out of her way. she didn't do anything wrong, she has done nothing but begin a good best friend to me. 
Right now, i don't know anymore. i walked out that day it was dark out and it cost me more then a friendship, it cost me a whole tone more then that. she probably doesn't trust me anymore. I just wanted to be out of her life so she can be happy but it is going to solve anything , Yes for her and make her life easier. 
To stefanie: I am sorry for blocking you on facebook, but not on IG or on my phone. I barely go on facebook anymore but to check or to talk to others ooh wait i don't have much people to talk to but tiffanie and other friends. i bet your life is wonderful with john in it, i didn't like how you dropped me off from the face of the earth. i know you have your man of two years now but at least talk to your friends. You already know why me and kaisy arent talking anymore. 
I used to have a boyfriend, his is a real sweetheart,so kind and lovely. He is very royal and cute in my eyes, but one day it turned around i dmed kaisy and told her " your right about a lot of things and me" then she goes to tiffanie and tell her a bunch of lies. so thats when me and broke up due to that and they both think i am a lesbian when i am not but its whatever i guess nothing i can do to fix anything anymore. 
my friend doesn't believe me so i just let the lies be and done with, there was no point for me to fix anything, i just sat there hurt and broken with everything in my life gone, i broke off friendships and relationship of my own. 
I can't fix anything nor i will ever be. Thanks for listening to what i have to say.
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Category:2019