WP3025 Chpt 22

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==Chapter 22 - Winged Praxis (Battletech 3015 CYOA)==
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===Trouble with Customs===
Dropship Queen Anne, Zenith Point
Butzfleth System
Duchy of Andurien, Free Worlds League
20th March, 3015
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"You're going to have to run that by me again, Lieutenant Pinker." I said, forcing as much calm into my voice as I could. It wasn't much. Most of my self-control was being spent on my right hand, which wanted to creep over to my holstered Nakjima.
 
Pinker swallowed, looking about the hangar. It couldn't have been comforting. All of our techs were armed and staring daggers at him. Jai had opted for a mix of needlers and lasers for our company, favoring low recoil and high lethality for our irregular shipboard security. It would be horrifying to see what happened after the triggers were pulled, but hopefully the weapons mix would let there be an after for our techs.
 
Jai, on the other hand, was cradling a terrifying gyrojet carbine loaded with incendiary frag rounds. He gave a nasty smile to Pinker, whose eyes darted back to me.
 
"Andurien Customs requires your company…companies to remain here while we confirm that all of your military materiel and personnel are legally able to operate as mercenaries in the Duchy." He glanced back to check that his two enlisted men were still at his shoulders. "There is some suspicion that you have both contraband and deserters in your TO&E."
 
"I'll be dammed," I said, playing up my Cerillos drawl. "That does sound as stupid the second time around."
 
"Colonel!" he started.
 
"Now don't be sore," I said. "I insulted your brains, not your huevos." I offered him a mocking smile. "Which was a mite more neighborly than you. You just called me a thief and said I kept company with cowards."
 
"I…" the Lieutenant began to studdered
 
"No, I'm sorry." I said, bulldozing over him. "You said you suspected me. Means you don't trust my word of honor. Tell me, how do you do things back on Andurien?" I paused, letting him open his mouth before continuing. "For duels, I mean."
 
Pinker's mouth snapped close.
 
"Is it knives?" I asked. "We like knives back home. Lessen we get seriously torqued. Then the pistols come out."
 
He didn't answer, getting a hunted look that was mirrored on his thugs.
 
"Not a dueling planet?" I suggested. "You could apologize, you know."
 
The spark that let him declare his officialese in front of so much personal firepower flared back up. "I've only told you what Andurien Customs has ruled. I'm not insulting you."
 
I rolled my eyes. "Right, it's your job making you be a bastard. But you're doing your job, so you are a bastard." I watched him flush. I was pretty sure that this wasn't what Cliffhanger had in mind when she had convinced me to go nose cold the other day. But that was before Pinker had pulled this shit. "Hey, let's talk jobs."
 
"What?"
 
"Jobs." I repeated. "You know, like you're a bastard. Me, I'm a MRB mercenary." Which was now true, what with my buyout of Crossbones Squadron. "You know what that means, right?"
 
"You're a gun for hire." Pinker spat.
 
"I provide military services for a fee, yeah. And I'm currently under contract to provide escort to Siduri and Wiglaf." I hooked a thumb into my belt on the opposite side from my holster. "Means I need to be with them when they jump in 38 hours. And before the thought of detaining them too percolates through your mind, I'm also obligated to protect their schedule from pirates."
 
"We are not pirates!" exploded Pinker. "We are the lawful customs agency of the Duchy!"
 
"Pirates, emperors," I said. "It's a matter of scale. And another matter you might want to keep in mind, I'm also obligated to preserve my combat power to better fulfill my contract. Mind, I'd do it anyway, because, not being a bastard, I've got loyalty to my people."
 
"You'll regret this." he said, grinding his teeth.
 
"Shit, I'm doing you a favor," I said. "Butzfleth mighta once been Duchy clay, but at the start of this war, it wasn't. Whoever wins is likely going to be coming for you once they're done, and you'll need all the mercs you can hire. You really think you're going to be able to get the cherry units if you get a reputation for ripping off merc units before you even secede?"
 
"You aren't under contract with the Duchy," he argued. "The MRB doesn't have jurisdiction."
 
"And if you believe that, I've got a star to sell you," I said. "They might not be arbitrating this, but they don't like it when people rock the boat." 
 
"We have legal right to seize deserters and contraband under Executive Order 1136," he said. "The MRB respects the laws of the Free Worlds League."
 
I held up a finger. "I don't have any deserters in my companies. All of my personnel are either lawfully discharged, or never received their commission."
 
"The Captain-General decreed that League academy cadets are not allowed to withdraw from service," Pinker huffed.
"On February 17th," I pointed out. "After any of my pilots or techs did. And one of my fighters is specifically lawful salvage under EO 1136. I literally have the paperwork for the Sand Hawk." I snorted. "Pretty rich to try and use the laws of a government you're seceding from."
 
"The Duchy is a proud state of the Free Worlds League," he said without much conviction.
"That pulled its regiments back home, and is taking over independent worlds of the League," I said. "Pull the other one, it's got bells on." Before he could make another unconvincing denial, I waved my hand. "Not my problem. You and this Ranger shit is my problem. Now, if you want to buy some aerospace support, I might be able to sell you a patrol tug. Given this all, it's not going to come cheap, but we can have peace."
 
He looked mulish, and unwilling to say anything.
 
"On the other hand, we've been watching, and I know we can gut the entire customs operations at this jump point and pick over the salvage." I dropped my hand to right next to my laser and gave him my friendliest smile. "Which sounds better to you?"
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"That was stupid." said Vixen as the customs craft undocked under the Queen Anne's guns.
 
"Probably," I said. "Felt good, though." I tapped my earbud. "Alright people. We're keeping a BARCAP up until just before we jump, and I want Beta-Niner illuminated by an active TTS as long as they're in range. It'll be rough, but I know we're up for the challenge. And hey, it's only a day and a half until we cross the border." I closed the channel and turned back to Vixen. "If we're really lucky, we can off-load that patrol tug at a premium price."
 
She looked unconvinced. "Maybe. You really think they're going to secede? Andurien, I mean?"
 
I shrugged. "They spent a whole lot of time talking about the Duchess's authority and not much about League law, except at the end there. And this is supposed to be an independent system. Most likely, they're testing the waters." I looked back over my shoulder. "It could have been interesting to see how they would've reacted to Terri or Cliffhanger talking to them."
 
She laughed. "Yeah, noble girl or a pilot who still acts like they're in the FWLM. That would have been a good show. Why didn't you let me in on the intimidation?"
 
"Needed to let Jai show his work off. And if you were there, they're no way I'd be able to keep the spotlight on me." I laughed. "How do you pull off that hat?"
 
She laughed back. "Are you saying that swashbuckler fashion beats cowboy fashion?"
 
"No good son of Cerillos could ever admit such a thing," I said. "But people out here in the Sphere have such odd opinions on the matter." I smiled. "It's the hair, isn't it? That's what makes it work?"
 
"I've just got the panache," she said as she adjusted her hat, drawing a laugh out of me. "Right, well, I'm going to grab some chow and rack out until I'm up."
 
"Sounds like a plan," I said. "But I've got a strike mission to draw up before I can do the same."
 
She stopped and turned around. "You weren't bluffing?"
 
I shook my head. "Not if I can help it. Best make sure the bomb lockers are ready to go."
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===Unusual Business Arrangement===
Dropship Queen Anne, Zenith Point
Fanardir System
Magistracy of Canopus, Periphery
22nd March, 3015
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"Ladies, gentlemen," said Socks over the intercom as the jump faded. "We have officially left the League."
 
I yawned, then smiled apologetically to Phillipa. "Sorry, Ms. Kasparova. I imagine it's good to be home, yeah?"
 
She nodded. "It seems like it shouldn't make a difference, but it absolutely does." She gestured to my slouched state. "If you are tired, we could take this up another time."
 
I shook my head, doing my best to suppress another yawn. "Nah, that wasn't too bad. Stayed on alert way longer back on New Olympia."
 
"You look ready to collapse, Mr. Zalman." she said.
 
"We did have stronger stimulants then," I allowed, gesturing with a fresh bulb of coffee. "I promise, I'm all here, and the joe will iron out some of the wrinkles. So long as you're sure we won't have to pull a deckload launch against customs here."
 
"If you do," she said, "something will have gone badly wrong. House Raventhir prides itself on providing a welcoming and safe gateway to the Magistracy."
 
"I don't suppose Andurien is likely to take on Canopus, not when there's independent League worlds to pinch off." I mused. "If things do go wrong, what would you expect?"
 
"Another house making a move against Landynski," she said. "Perhaps some internal maneuvering."
 
I took a swig of coffee, relishing in the prime quality. "Seems like both of those are likely options."
 
"The second, certainly," she agreed. "But not to that level. It wouldn't be worth the damage to the house to start things in House Raventhir's holdings. I expect that things won't get bad until we make it to Canopus. Or perhaps when we make it to the surface of Fanardir."
 
"What, do you think they plan to murder me in a pleasure circus?" I laughed.
 
"That would be counter-productive." she replied, all business. "With the way your trusts and will is set up. That was a good move, by the way. No, they are more likely to attempt seduction."
 
I groaned. "Some people are parodies of themselves."
 
"The performers at the best circuses can be quite convincing," she said. "But it would be a deniable long shot. None of them truly know anything about you other than a basic sketch. More involved schemes will have to wait." She folded her hands over her noteputer. "We should discuss the subject of marriage."
 
"We went over this before. It's not like I think here in Canopus, right?"
 
"Yes. In the Magistracy, marriage is largely a business arrangement. Some faiths buck this trend, but for society at large, marriage is a close alliance and a pooling of resources. Love matches are considered…quaint is probably the best word."
 
I nodded. This was all ground we'd covered, even if it still didn't make intuitive sense to me. "Sounds like noble stuff, still."
 
"There's probably some truth to that." she admitted.
 
"So, marriage is still important, but not for the same reasons. And it's less committed?" I asked, thinking back to earlier information she had given me.
 
"There is an expectation to produce a child to maintain a bond," she equivocated, "and there are complications when it comes to splitting resources when a marriage is dissolved without a clear prenuptial arrangement. But yes, marriages can be quite transitory, and it is rare for couples to be exclusive with their spouses."
 
I thought back to the Southwesterners I had invited out here and groaned. "Oh boy." There was going to be a whole mess of reactions to this.
 
"There is also a fad that goes in and out of fashion with nobles and commoners to follow House Centrella's example and give the last name of either the mother or father to the child of matching sex."
 
I snapped my fingers. "So that's why some of the heirs have different last names! I was wondering."
 
"Yes." she said. "I won't lie, there were times it was a struggle to not call you, Mr. Adelmann."
 
I thought back. "Yeah, I probably wouldn't have reacted well to that," I admitted. "But why are we talking about this?"
 
"Because in my professional opinion, it would be to your advantage to get married as soon as possible."
 
Nothing on her face made it seem like she was joking in the slightest. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Okay, explain that to the poor dumb Leaguer."
 
"You remember when we talked about nobles in the Magistracy?" she asked, continuing at my nod. "One important privilege is that noblewomen may take any unmarried man to husband."
 
I nearly choked on my coffee. I knew this! But it didn't register as real to any part of me. "Oh," I said, wiping coffee from my lips. "But I'm a League citizen."
 
Phillipa gave me a pitying look. "Do you really want to test whether the Crimson Council would rule against a noblewoman, especially when your considerable assets are at stake?"
 
I growled. "No." I tapped my finger on the table. "What limitations are there?"
 
"It can't be done within a house, or to a noble in their own right," she said. "And the marriage must last for three years or the production of a child, whichever is shorter. Of course, the noblewoman may extend it for as long as she wishes."
 
"Of course. No prenup?"
 
Phillipa shook her head. "No. There's been some attempts to write blanket prenups to guard against asset seizure, but it's not been very successful. It's the point of the privilege to bring successful men and their assets into established houses. Normally it's considered to be an honor to be chosen and join a noble house."
 
"Oh, sure right," I said. "An honor."
 
"The proposal must also be delivered in person." she said.
 
"That isn't a proposal," I snarled. "Still, that suggests a defense. I'm a pretty quick draw."
 
Phillipa actually chuckled. "You would have a hard time claiming self-defense," she said. "Though if you made it known you plan to shoot anyone who proposes to you, that might scare off all but the most determined…and stupid."
 
"It'd certainly be defense of property," I groused. "Given how rapey this shit is, I'd say self-defense absolutely applies."
 
"Marital rape is a prosecutable offense," said Phillipa. "A noblewoman can't force sex with this."
 
"Uh huh." I said, thinking of how poorly those sorts of laws tended to be enforced. "I can throw an Agromech further than I trust that." 
 
Phillipa didn't argue with that.
 
"How would my trusts and will interact with that?" I asked.
 
"They should still apply," she said. "I did my best to account for this. What you earn when married might not be protected, but…"
 
"At least I won't be hitched and immediately put down," I grumbled. "Not if they want everything."
 
"No. But you would be much safer if you were married already."
 
I buried my face in my hands. "So, what, should I just grab Terri and tell her, 'Hey, let's get hitched, I need to protect my money and the unit from Canopian opportunists'?"
 
"I wouldn't presume to tell you how to propose, but I would caution against marrying, Ms. Tomlinson."
 
I went very still. "Explain that."
 
"Ms. Tomlinson is the heir of a highly placed noble house in the League. It could cause trouble for both you and House Landynski if House Tomlinson was seen as having any more influence on you than they already do."
 
"I HATE this shit!" I exploded. "Ben zona, zayin ba'ayin! Ale tseyn zoln bay im aroysfaln, not eyner zol im blaybn oyf tsonveytung! Why do we even have nobles when they cause mierda like this?" I hurled the bulb at the wall, then blew out a breath. "Santa Fe…sorry about that, Phillipa."
 
She looked back from the slowly leaking coffee bulb to me. "You are under a great deal of stress." she said. "I can…understand your reaction."
 
"Yeah," I said with a surge of self-loathing. "Poor little rich boy. You didn't deserve that." She had the grace not to agree with me. Silence stretched between us. "How long do I have?" I asked, dead voiced.
 
"Your assets are mostly hidden for the moment," she said, "and you'll be in House Landynski holdings when we arrive on Canopus. But I don't think you can wait any longer than retrieving the second Jumpship, and it would be safest if you were married before you set foot on any Canopian world."
 
I felt the thump through the ship as the K-F boom disengaged and nodded. "Right." Gravity settled back on me like a thick cloak as the transfer drive ignited. "Right. We'll talk about the updates to the situation in the house later. I need to think…and talk with some people."
 
She nodded. "Mr. Zalman."
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