Dolph Vader and the Revenge of the Nyan Cats

The seventeenth chapter of Total Drama Revolution, posted on September 27, 2011.
==Story==
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution, I think some stuff happened. Some movie stars and singers, and a dead president, appeared, and Chelsey was eliminated. Who will be out next? Find out today!" says Chris.
Donny is sipping gin and juice, laying underneath a palm tree.
"Where did that palm tree get there?" asks Kavren.
"I don't know, man. I think it just popped up." says Donny.
"How do ya like your new girlfriend?" says Kavren.
"Chelsey? No, we're just friends." says Donny.
"Well then, why did you make out with her?" asks Kavren.
"Uh, she's hot." says Donny. "You know that."
"Yeah, so is my gurl." says Kavren.
"She's not yours, dude. I don't even think she likes you." says Donny.
The aftermath set is shown.
Abbey is staring at a picture of Kavren,
"Abbey, don't you think that's a little, er, unhealthy?" asks Mattie.
"Yeahmanimeanboysarecoolandallbutyoudontavetobesoobsessedwiththem." says Lizza.
"If I remember correctly, you hated boys at the beginning of the season." says MacKenzie.
"..." says PJ.
"All right, changing the subject." says Donny.
"Let's go on Chatrotate." says Kavren.
"Oh, god, no. Last time I was on there, I was traumatized." says Donny.
"Come on. It's the true test of manliness." says Kavren.
"All right, fine, but let's go on the kids version." says Donny.
"What kids version?" asks Kavren.
"Oh, god, no. All right, put the first person on." says Donny.
Kavren presses the button.
Dolph is shown on cam.
"Hello, chaps." he says.
"Dolph, of course you're on here." says Donny.
"Don't you have better things to do?" asks Kavren.
"No, buddy. The Nyan Cat is asleep right now, and Chris placed a restraining order against me." says Dolph.
Donny switches the camera.
A girl named 'GreenSweater97' is shown.
"Hey, girl. You're cute." says Kavren.
"You'll be cute..." she says. "In bed." She giggles.
"Switch. Switch. Switch." says Donny.
Kavren switches the camera.
The girl says after Kavren switches, "Drat, that was a cute one."
Noah and Ezekiel are shown.
"How do you work this thing, eh?" asks Ezekiel.
"Dude, why are we even on this chat site? It's only for desperate nerds." says Noah.
"But you're a desperate nerd, eh." says Ezekiel.
"I got the bran." says Tyler, coming in.
"Hey, it's those dudes from TDRev!" says Ezekiel.
"So they're the final two boys? Pity, I liked Toad the most." says Noah.
"Personally, I liked Trick." says Tyler.
"Antoine was my favorite, eh." says Ezekiel.
Donny switches the camera,
A boy named 'PikachuAce' is shown.
"Yo, this ain't right," he says, switching.
"Hey, isn't that the dude we almost ran over in the race?" asks Donny.
"Yeah, I think so." says Kavren.
Two hot girls are shown on cam.
"Hey, ba-BAY." says Kavren.
"Kavren, you have a girlfriend, kinda." says Donny.
One of the girls rips off her head, and it's Dolph. Dolph winks.
Kavren begins to giggle.
The other girl rips off her mask, and it's an old guy.
"Oh, god. Switch." says Donny.
Kavren switches the camera.
An inappropriate thing is then shown, to Donny and Kavren's horror.
"SWITCH IT!" yells Kavren.
Donny turns green and passes out.
Kavren passes out too, leaving the image still on the screen.
Elle comes in with Tasia, and their suitcases.
"Let's pick this bed, maaaaan." says Tasia.
"All right. I'll sleep in the top bunk." says Elle.
"Heeeey, the dudes are passed out." says Tasia.
"What's that on the screen over there?" asks Elle.
Elle and Tasia look at the screen.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" screams Elle.
"That's naaaasty, maaaan." says Tasia.
Elle passes out, and so does Tasia.
Chris comes into the room.
"All right, guys, come outside pronto, time for th--" says Chris.
He sees the image on the screen.
"I'll get back to you later." he says.
"Heeey, where did Shaun go? He was supposed to be spendin' the night." says Tasia.
"I think he died after seeing that thing." says Elle.
The contestants go outside, with the image still on the screen.
"Guys, we have a problem." says Chris.
"What is it?" asks Kavren.
"Well, first of all, it's noon, and it's pitch-black." says Chris. "Second of all, look at that giant metal Dolph head floating in the sky."
"What the crap? How did that get there?" asks Elle.
"Well, I think you guys should go in there and stop Dolph from doing whatever he plans on doing." says Chris.
"Don't we need weapons and stuff?" asks Donny.
Chris tosses Donny a pistol and a vest. "All right, 'Don Solo.'" says Chris.
Donny groans, and heads away.
"Elle, you can be 'Queen Ohmygodyo'." says Chris.
Elle puts on the weird headdress and the flamboyant outfit.
"This head thingy weighs like a million pounds." says Elle.
"So?" asks Chris.
Elle heads away.
"Kavren, you can be Yodawg." says Chris.
Kavren puts on a green mask and a suit.
"I look swaqq." says Kavren. Chris slaps his head, and Kavren heads away.
"Aaaand, Tasia, you can be 'Puke Landrunner'." says Chris.
"Waaaait, I haaaave to be a boooooy?" asks Tasia.
"Yup." says Chris. He hands Tasia the costume and she puts it on.
"And how are we supposed to get to that Dolph Star?" asks Kavren.
Chris summons Billy the intern, who has four mini-starfighters.
"This is getting un-realistic." says Billy.
Kavren, Donny, Elle and Tasia get in the starfighters and zip away.
"REMEMBER, THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE IS IN YOUR HANDS." yells Chris.
Kavren almost runs into an asteroid in his starfighter.
"Yodawg to Don Solo. I just died, almost." says Kavren on his walkie-talkie.
"Don Solo to Yodawg. That's pretty sweet." says Donny on his walkie-talkie.
"Puke Landrunner to booooth of ya. I don't think we haaave to say who we aaare before we saaaay stuff." says Tasia on her walkie talkie.
"Queen Ohmygodyo to all of ya. SNOOKIII!" yells Elle on her walkie-talkie.
Donny slaps his forehead, narrowly avoiding an asteroid.
"Wow, Chris really paid a lot for these spaceships and stuff. And I thought TD was low-budget." says Donny.
"I don't know if Chris paid for this stuff, duuuude." says Tasia.
"Yeah, I think it's real." says Kavren.
Donny, Kavren, Elle, and Tasia land in the Dolph Star.
"All right, if we wanna kill Dolph, or at least win the challenge, we have to be stealthy." says Donny.
"SNOOKIIII!" yells Elle.
Some Dolphtroopers run by, and the four dive into a trash can.
"Elle, you tool." says Kavren.
"Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. And why doesn't Queen Ohmygodyo have any weapons?" asks Elle.
"She's a figurehead, maaaan." says Donny.
"Heeeey, saying maaaan is my thing." says Tasia.
A Dolphtrooper is behind Tasia.
"TASIA LOOK OUT!" yells Donny.
Tasia hits the Dolphtrooper in the groin.
The Dolphtrooper keels over, and Tasia sprints away.
"That leaves three of us." says Donny.
The floor opens, and Donny and Kavren are sent hurtling into a pit.
"It's only me, huh?" asks Elle.
Elle takes off her helmet and starts stroking her hair.
Two Dolphtroopers come out of nowhere and grab her.
Meanwhile, Donny and Kavren are in a trash compactor.
"Eww, this place is regusting." says Kavren.
"I know, right? I smell crap, garbage, crap, crap, stuff, crap, and whatever." says Donny.
"What's that gripping my leg?" asks Kavren.
"Is it Dolph?" asks Donny.
"No, he's in his palace or whatever." says Kavren.
"All right, then I don't know what it is." says Donny.
"Well, this reminds me of Star Wars, a lot." says Kavren.
Donny gasps. "Ya don't say."
"And if I remember, there was something in a trash compactor in the first movie. And I think it was called a Dianoga." says Kavren.
The Dianoga comes out from under the compactor. Except, it has Dolph's head.
"Blargh!" screams the Dianoga.
"Oh, god, it's A DOLPHANOGA!" screams Kavren.
"Get out of here!" says Donny.
Kavren and Donny climb up the wall.
The Dolphanoga is in hot pursuit. Kavren steps on it, and it explodes.
"There, that's better." says Kavren.
Kavren and Donny get out of the trash compactor.
"Hey, look. It's Tasia." says Kavren.
Tasia has her back turned away from Donny and Kavren.
"Hey, Tasia, guess what? We're gonna get ou--" says Donny.
Tasia turns around, and it's a Dolphtrooper.
"BLARGH!" yells the Dolphtrooper.
"RUN!" yells Kavren.
Donny says in the confessional, "This episode is extremely weird."
Elle takes an elevator up to the throne room.
Two hooded Imperial Dolph Guards come up to Elle.
"Come with us. The Emperor is waiting for you." says one of the guards.
"Uh, okay." says Elle.
Dolph is sitting on a throne, with his hood down.
"Hey, Dolphicus." says Elle.
"Hello, chaps. Ready for a life saver battle?" asks Dolph.
"Uh, sure, fine, whatever." says Elle.
Dolph takes out a life saver.
Elle magically grows a life saver.
"Hey, you know, these are cheap ripoffs of lightsabers." says Dolph.
"Yeah, uh-huh." says Elle.
Elle throws her life saver at Dolph, and he explodes.
"What the craaaaap?" asks Tasia, coming out of nowhere.
"Uh, what just..." says Elle.
Donny and Kavren come in.
"Hey, Dolph ju--" says Donny.
Donny, Kavren, Elle, and Tasia wake up. They're in their beds.
"Oh, my god, That was, like, the most cheesy ending ever. The author is such a @#$%." says Elle.
"It was only just a dreeeeeam..." sings Donny.
"Wait, it was a dream. That means that the Chatrotate thing never happened!" says Kavren happily.
Tasia points to the computer screen. The person is still on Chatrotate.
Kavren pukes in Donny's lap.
"Wait, so even though it was a dream, is Dolph still..." says Donny.
Dolph pops up behind Tasia.
"Whoooooa." says Tasia.
"'Ello, chaps!" says Dolph. "Like my little trick?"
"What trick?" asks Donny cautiously.
"Oh, I just manipulated your brains so you guys would dream about me." says Dolph.
"How the noodles did you do that?" asks Kavren.
"My kitteh." says Dolph. "It's gaining powers of some sort."
"You know, this doesn't even seem like it's realistic anymore." says Donny.
"Remember Zombie Zeke, and Izzy disappearing in a puff of smoke?" asks Elle.
"She got it." says Dolph. "Well, I should be going."
Dolph claps and disappears.
"Uh, whatever." says Kavren. "Let's vote, boys and girls."
Donny says in the confessional, "Well, I like everybody left, but Tasia seems the most expendable."
Kavren says in the confessional, "Donny's my bro, but I feel like the Chatrotate thingy was his fault... But Tasia sucks too. What do I do?"
Tasia is asleep in the confessional. "Uuuuh?" She wakes up. "Donny."
Elle says in the confessional, "Uh, Tasia sucks, yeah. But Donny isn't guido enough for me. I want the guy gone."
Chris is at the elimination ceremony.
"Kavren and Elle, you two are both safe." says Chris.
Kavren cheers. Elle just shrugs.
"Donny and Tasia. One of you is safe, the other has to take the Taxi of Losers, with a special driver." says Chris.
Dolph honks from the Taxi.
"The safe person is..."
"Tasia."
"Que?" asks Elle.
"What?" asks Kavren, shocker.
"Wuuuuuh?" asks Tasia. "Whaaatevs." She falls asleep.
"All right." shrugs Donny. "It was fun, guys."
"See ya, bro." says Kavren. "It was awesome to hang out with you, except that Chatrotate thing."
Donny chuckles. "Yeah. See ya, Kav. Bye Tasia. Elle..."
Elle scowls at Donny.
Donny walks to the Taxi, clicks his hands, and gets in with Dolph.
"Did you see the Weather Channel special yesterday?" asks Dolph.
"Save it for the aftermath studio, Rainbows." says Donny.
The Taxi turns into Dolph's Nyan Cat, and the two rocket away.
"It's down to the final three! Who will win, the weirdo, the woozy chick, or the Nebraska Shore obsessed midget? Find out next time! Oh, wait, that's an aftermath. Find out the time after that."