Throwback Thursday (Transcript)

(Reggae music playing) (Vocalizing) ♪ Said if I give you my love ♪ ♪ you've got to promise me this ♪ ♪ you'll never hurt me ♪ ♪ you'll never desert me ♪ ♪ said if I give you my love ♪ ♪ you've got to promise me this ♪ ♪ you'll never hurt me ♪ ♪ you'll never desert me ♪ ♪ laying on our backs ♪ ♪ under the moonlight ♪ ♪ basking in the perfection ♪ ♪ of this cool night ♪ ♪ wordless conversations ♪ ♪ breeding inspiration ♪ ♪ your pristine configuration ♪ ♪ give your little body just a little vibration ♪ ♪ but if I give you my love ♪ ♪ you've got to promise... ♪ Major Lazer, come on! Now! Ah! Oh. (Growls) What's going on? Zombies have been extinct since the zombie war of 1984. There must be a rip in the space-time continuum. Have you ever heard of throwback Thursday? No, I haven't. Look, every Thursday, most normal people post pictures of something that happened to them in the past. But if you're really rich, there's a woman that can actually take you back to the past. Blkmrkt: Her name is lady Vanessa Rothchild. Last Thursday, lady Rothchild took my dad to the past, but... He never came back. He's been in the past too long. He's destructing the cosmic groove. If we don't get him back soon, the whole universe will unravel. Look, I know you hate my dad but we need to go back in time, find him and lady Rothchild, and bring them back. Or else the cosmic groove will skip a beat and history will be remixed! Zombies will be the least of our worries. Now I just turned this mp3 player into a time machine. Pretty brilliant if I do say so myself. The forward button sends you to the future. The reverse button to the past. And this is the shuffle button. It will send you to any place at random. Penny, fall back! (Growling) Ah! (Penny grunts) Major Lazer, catch! Okay, Major Lazer, we'll handle the zombies, you go back in time and save the universe. (Reggae music playing) (Music morphs into electro dance music) ♪ Hey, hey! ♪ Come on, who do I have to (Bleep) to get some champagne? What the... Major Lazer, what the (Bleep) are you doing here? Easy, whitewall. As much as I'd love to hurt you, I'm only here to take you home. You want to take me home? We're mortal enemies, why don't you just kill me? Because you being in the past is screwing up the present. You're coming with me. Abso-(Bleep)-lutely not! Ow! Hey. Wait! Ow!
Where's lady Rothchild? I don't really know, she said something about going back to the beginning of time to recreate the world in her image. I don't know, I wasn't really listening. I had a lot on my lap. Why would she go back to the beginning of time? If you ask me, all this time-jumping gave her time-madness. So what now? Champagne room? You're going back home. I'm going to find lady Rothchild. Just so you know, you missed your chance to kill me and when we're back in future Jamaica, we're mortal enemies, and you're in (Bleep) trouble. Whitewall out! Lady Rothchild: (Laughs) Welcome to the garden of Eden, Major Lazer. Say, "hello" to Adam and Eve. (Both mumbling, groaning) What are you doing? Well, I was going to kill Eve and have s*x with Adam. But now that you're here, let's kill them both. But why would we do that? So I can be the mother of humanity. And you can be its baby daddy. But that would change all of history. And would that be so bad, Major Lazer? The future is so boring, and it's because we descended from these two basic bitches. But you and I, we're different. We could create a dope world full of dope sh1t. Whitewall was right! You have gone time-mad. I'm sorry you feel that way, Major Lazer. Perhaps my kung-fu will convince you otherwise. ♪ Gotta hold my head up high, oh! ♪ (Electronic music plays) ♪ ♪ ♪ gonna fight, gonna fight ♪ ♪ gonna make it through the night ♪ ♪ when the walls cave in ♪ ♪ feel the cold inside ♪ ♪ when tomorrow comes ♪ ♪ you know the sun gon' shine ♪ ♪ and it's hard but I gotta hold my head up high ♪ ♪ gonna fight, gonna fight gonna make it through the night ♪ ♪ when the walls cave in, feel the cold inside ♪ ♪ when tomorrow come, you know the sun gon' shine ♪ ♪ and it's hard but I gotta hold my head up high ♪ (Vocalizing) ♪ Know it's hard, but I gotta hold my head up high ♪ ♪ oh! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ And it's hard, but I gotta hold my head up high ♪ ♪ oh! Gonna fight, gonna fight gonna make it through the night ♪ ♪ when the walls cave in, feel the cold inside ♪ ♪ when tomorrow comes, you know the sun gon' shine ♪ ♪ it's hard but I gotta hold my head up high ♪ ♪ gonna fight, gonna fight, gonna make it through the night ♪ ♪ when the wall's cave in, feel the cold inside ♪ ♪ when tomorrow comes, you know the sun gon' shine ♪ ♪ know it's hard, but I gotta hold my head up high ♪ ♪ oh! Oh! Oh! ♪ ♪ Oh! Oh! ♪ (Panting) We've fought to the end of time. But now it's time to go home, lady Rothchild. (Sighs) Lady Rothchild! Throwback Thursday has killed me. Please, just leave me here. You know I can't do that. You're too dangerous. You can't be trusted. Here, take my time-clock. I'm powerless without it. I was just trying to rewrite history. But instead, you almost ruined the future. Come on, Major Lazer! Come on! Where are you? Whoa! Both: Major Lazer! You did it! You saved all of time! I know. (Air horn blares) PG tipps: Good evening, Jamaica. That concludes another throwback Thursday. This is your bredren pg tipps saying until next time, peace, love, unity, respect. Turn up! Reggae singer: (Vocalizing) ♪ Said if I give you my love ♪ ♪ you've got to promise me this ♪ ♪ you'll never hurt me ♪ ♪ you'll never desert me ♪ ♪ said if I give you my love ♪