Transcripts 2002-01

Transcripts from January 2002 strips.
==January 4==
Panel 1Anne and Richard are naked in bed. Anne looks at Richard with concern, and Richard rubs the back of his head while slamming his eyes shut. Both have their ears folded back.Anne: Seriously though... Would you be prepared to marry me?Richard: Of course I would Anne, but I'm happy the way we are! Marriage for me summons up images of dull couples with 2.4 brats, who drive to wife swapping parties in their beige Volvo estate! I'd do it for you but that concept gives me nightmares!Panel 2The lights are off, but there is enough ambient light to see Anne and Richard from an overhead camera view. Anne is staring into the camera with a "*sigh*" and a disappointed expression, while Richard has turned over and fallen asleep with a "Z" sound as indicator.
==January 7==
Panel 1Anne is sitting at a break room table at Cook Industries, as evidenced by the logo appearing in multiple places in the strip, including on her name badge. Anne is resting her face in her hand and looking dejectedly at her steaming cup of coffee. A window with the blinds drawn and a Cook-branded menu are on the background wall.Anne: ...the thing is, he said he WOULD marry me but managed to get across that he'd rather stuff a rabid badger into his underpants! He says he want's things to stay as they are, and so do I but... I don't know! I just have this feeling we should be moving on or doing SOMETHING!Panel 2The camera rotates 90 degrees to show Anne crossing her arms and glaring at the vending machine guy working on the interior of the machine near Anne's table. A Cook-branded clock and Cook-branded corkboard(?) are on the wall.Anne: Also I'm wondering why I'm discussing my personal life with a guy that's scraping lumps of rancid chicken soup out of a vending machine!Guy: Maybe you're just comfortable with men in overalls!
==January 11==
Panel 1Anne is walking down a hallway with a red door and a plant in the background.Anne (thinking): Maybe I'm just being stupid. Marriage has never crossed my mind before and Richard is right; we are happy the way we are! Aren't we? Well he has to keep me happy or I'd walk out and I LIKE it that way, so where has this sudden need for security come from...Panel 2Anne suddenly panics as she cups her mouth with her hand, choking back a vomiting reaction with a loud "BULK!" noise.Panel 3A bathroom stall with the "Occupied" indicator visible. A BLEEAUG! sound comes from inside the stall.Anne (unseen, thinking): Oh shit!
==January 14==
Panel 1Richard is grabbing his coat from the hanger while looking back over his shoulder with concern for Anne, who gives him a very tired look.Richard: You're home early! ... Jesus! Are you all right? You look awful!Anne: Gee, thanks! If you must know I was sick so the manager sent me home!Panel 2Richard pulls his coat on over his left arm. A thermostat(?) and an umbrella in a stand are in the background.Richard: Well I was about to go and get the shopping so shall I pick something up from the chemist for you while I'm there?Panel 3Richard pulls his coat over his right arm with a shocked expression as Anne deadpans to him.Anne: Actually, since you're offering, could you pick one of those home pregnancy tests for me?
==January 18==
Single PanelRichard is gawping at Anne in shock. Anne is shouting sternly back at him.Richard: W...what? You're pregnant?Anne: No, I just suggested that I might be!Richard: How... How the h...hell did that happen?!Anne: As for how, you should have paid more attention when your parents had "that little chat" with you!
==January 21==
Sticky the Stick ManThe entire page is drawn as though a child has drawn a comic strip, including misspelled words, words running up against the edge of the word balloon, and letters scribbled out rather than erased and rewritten.
HeaderSticky the Stick Man By AL (aged 22)Panel 1A crude stick figure with a smiley face.Sticky: I've just heard t▒hat HollywopoSticky: is makein a Garfield moviePanel 2Sticky stands there, smiling.Panel 3Sticky is still standing there.Sticky: And ▒▒▒ Americans wonder wthy theSticky: rest of the world want toe blow thm up!Panel 4Same as panel 2.Panel 5Still standing there.Sticky: While u were out I also fucked your dog!"Panel" 6 (no panel border)Al's disembodied head snarks.Al: Now FUCKOFF! (I like waf▒fles)"Panel" 7Richard's disembodied head glares up at the above.Richard: WHAT'S THIS SHIT? YEAH Alan, Fuck the story ▒▒line ▒ Just to be topical and save yoursels sometime! Fuckin' Arsehole!
==January 25==
Panel 1Unspecified grey cat? chemist stands at the counter with her face resting on her hand as she gives an unspecified speckled yellow cat a bored look. The speckled cat looks away rather than into her eyes as he sweats uncomfortably.Caption: Later, at the chemist...Chemist: Can I help you sir?Speckled: Um... yeah... er... got any toothbrushes?Panel 2The chemist looks in the direction of the camera but downwards, her fist covering her mouth. The speckled cat starts to turn away.Chemist: We sure do! Do you have any particular toothbrush in mind?Speckled: Well... not really! I mean any one will do really!Panel 3The chemist looks at Richard, who impatiently gestures toward the speckled cat, who shudders in embarrassment.Richard: Look lady, we all know this guy wants something embarrassing! I hate to wreck your only form of entertainment but I'm really not in the mood for this, so why don't you just give him his packet of rubbers or testicular wart cream and lets all get on with our lives huh?
==January 28==
Panel 1Anne holds up the pregnancy test Richard bought, while Richard stands behind Anne and rubs her shoulders, concern on his face.Richard: Well I got it! What do we have to do now?Anne: Well I've got to take a piss on it and if two bars appear am pregnant!Panel 2The camera rotates slightly to view them from the side. Anne glares at Richard over her shoulder.Richard: Um, do you need any help:Panel 3The camera rotates to a front view of Anne and Richard. Anne is now annoyed at Richard, who has not changed expression.Anne: Richard, you're starting to scare me! This over protectiveness I can understand if I was six months pregnant but even then I don't need your help to take a slash on a little plastic stick!Richard: So... is that a "no" then?
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