Merry Cloudmas/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Merry Cloudmas".
== ==
(Poppy is humming while decorating a tree made of clouds. Holly and Val come over to her.)
Val: Uh… What’s with all the decorations, Popsqueak?
Poppy: (giggles) I’m glad you asked, Val. And I am all too happy to tell you. (She puts her hands in the air.) I have no idea!
Holly: You don’t know why you’re decoratin’?
Poppy: Nope! I just found this box and well, I’m not gonna let a bunch of decorations sit here, am I? (She laughs and puts a light blue wreath on the cloud tree.)
Holly: Wonder who left these here?
Cloud Guy: (offscreen) It was… (The camera shows a fake cloud and a fake snowman.) No, no, you had it right before. (The camera moves to the cloud and reveals that it was Cloud Guy who pretended to be a decoration.) Me.
Poppy, Holly, and Val: Aah!
Cloud Guy: (As his arms and legs appear) Nice to see you, Poppy, Troll I sometimes bother, Troll I’m scared of.
Poppy and Holly: Cloud Guy!
Cloud Guy: By the by, those decorations are for a little holiday we clouds call “Cloudmas.”
Poppy: (gasps) A new holiday?! Tell me everything! Do you wear Cloudmas sweaters?
Cloud Guy: (Taking out a sweater) Does this answer your question?
Sweater Cloud: Oh, we wear sweaters.
Poppy: (Giving the sweater cloud a fist bump) Yes!
Cloud Guy: Cloudmas is the best! The gifts, the games, the fluffy desserts my cloud momma makes, but most of all, it’s that special time of year when clouds show kindness to the ones they care about most. And for me, that someone is Branch.
Poppy: Branch?
Val: But you pester him like, all the time.
Cloud Guy: Exactly! Do you realize how much joy that gives me? Filling his bed with live fish, replacing his toothpaste with mayonnaise. Ooh, and then there’s the ol’ “Frosty Trousers” where I take a bucket of ice, wait till his back is turned and… No! No tricks this time! I’ve got to do something to show Branch what he means to me before Cloudmas slips away, but I don’t know how.
Poppy, Holly, and Val: Aw.
Cloud Guy: The only thing I’m good at is pranking and having abs so defined they can grate cheese. (He forms muscles and rubs cheese on them.)
Holly and Val: Aw.
Holly: Don’t you worry, Cloud Guy. We are gonna drop everythin’ to help you do somethin’ kind for Branch this instant. Right, girls?
Val: Right!
Cloud Guy: Really? (His muscles disappear.)
Poppy: Uh, yeah. We’ll, um… We’ll just drop everything sure.
Cloud Guy: Poppy, it’s fine. You can finish putting up the decorations first.
Poppy: Thank you! (She laughs and starts decorating again.) Yes! (Later, she starts helping Cloud Guy.) If you really wanna do something nice for Branch, there are lots of options.
Val: Let’s start with a little role playing. Pretend I’m Branch- (Cloud Guy throws a pie in her face.)
Cloud Guy: Heh! Oh! Val, I’m so sorry. My instincts just kicked in. I swear it won’t happen again. (He throws another pie in Val’s face.) Heh!
Poppy, Holly, and Val: Cloud Guy!
Cloud Guy: Gah! I can’t stop! (He throws more pies.) Run, Val! Run! (Val screams and runs away. Cloud Guy then begins to cry. Soon, he is at a table with a basket of gifts.)
Holly: A simple, considerate gift basket can brighten anyone’s day! Hm… Scented candles, check. Flavor Berry muffins, check. Some of Branch’s favorite cologne?
Cloud Guy: It’s called Cantankerous Underwellor for Men. (He sprays cologne and his face looks like a gorilla.)
Holly: Oh, bonus points for that.
Cloud Guy: Yes.
Holly: Now, just one final to check here. “Basket does not explode”?
Cloud Guy: Hm. Mm-hm, mm-hm. In that case, you might want to hit the dirt. (He throws the bucket away and he, Poppy, Holly, and Val jump out of the way as it explodes. At Poppy’s pod, she comes up with an idea.)
Poppy: Cloud Guy, why don’t you just write Branch a heartfelt note?
Cloud Guy: Uh… I don’t know. Where would I even start? Except… (He picks up a pencil.) Hm. (He starts writing on a piece of paper.) Uh-huh, uh-huh. Oh, that’s good. And… Done! (He shows a picture of Branch running away from a fish with legs.)
Poppy: Oh.
Holly: Uh-uh. (Cloud Guy starts crying and rips his picture to pieces.)
Cloud Guy: See, I can’t help myself! This Cloudmas is a disaster! (He cries hard and rubs cheese on his muscles again.)
Poppy: It’s OK, Cloud Guy. We’ll help you figure it out.
Cloud Guy: (sniffs) Really?
Poppy: Really. Try again, but just focus on telling Branch how you feel.
Cloud Guy: Oh. (His muscles disappear once more.) OK. (He writes on a red piece of paper.)
Poppy: All right, good. Except this part where you wrote, “Your smile can light up a room. And your face perfectly matches the circumference of a pie?”
Cloud Guy: Uh-huh?
Poppy: Just go with the smile part.
Cloud Guy: Hm… OK, good note. (Soon, his note is finished and he gives it to Holly.)
Holly: This part about the bond you share lastin’ through the ages? Write more about that. And lose this part where you list all kinds of fish you’ve put in his bed.
Cloud Guy: Oh! (He starts writing again.)
Val: You misspelled Frosty Trousers.
Cloud Guy: Mm-hm!
Val: Also, don’t write Frosty Trousers.
Cloud Guy: Hm! (After writing once more, he waits nervously as Poppy, Val, and Holly look at the note.) Well?
Poppy: It’s… (sniffs) … it’s just beautiful, Cloud Guy.
Holly: (With tears in her eyes) I woo-hoo’d, I boo-hoo’d. (Val wipes her tears.)
Val: Whatever. It’s fine. Stop looking at me! (She cries again and runs off. Outside, Branch is raking leaves outside his bunker. Poppy, Holly, Val, and Cloud Guy are hiding in a bush.)
Poppy: OK, final step. Hm, we give you one minute before your impish nature kicks in.
Holly: So get over there, give Branch the note and get out before you ruin this thoughtful Cloudmas gesture by bein’… well, by bein’ you. (Cloud Guy goes over to Branch.)
Cloud Guy: Uh… Branch?
Branch: (shocked) Cloud Guy! What are you doing? (He gasps and holds his shorts open.) Are you trying to give my frosty trousers?!
Cloud Guy: No, no, Branch. Today’s a special cloud holiday called Cloudmas. And I just wanted to give you this. (He holds out the note and Branch snatches it.)
Branch: Oh, you wanna tell me how you feel, huh? Ha. This should be good. (He starts reading the note.) Huh, actually this part is kind of nice.
Cloud Guy: Oh!
Branch: “Smile lights up a room”? Huh. (He continues reading the note.) Oh, wow. Yeah, I’ve felt that before. I just didn’t know how to say it. You… you really mean all this?
Cloud Guy: Mm-hm! (Branch hugs him.)
Branch: Thanks, buddy.
Poppy, Holly, and Val: Aw!
Cloud Guy: Well, Merry Cloudmas, Branch. (He lets go of Branch and starts to leave.)
Branch: Hey, uh… Cloud Guy, wait a second. (Poppy, Holly, and Val gasp.)
Poppy: Whoa. No, no. Don’t stop; your one minute’s almost up!
Branch: Why don’t you come inside and stay for a bit? We can catch up!
Cloud Guy: Stay? Uh, Branch… (laughs) I’d love to, but I’m booked. Gotta wash my socks, then I… gotta dry my socks.
Branch: Your socks? But you just said all those nice things… unless you really didn’t mean it.
Cloud Guy: No, no, I did mean it. I just… I’d… I… (sighs) I would love to come inside, Branch.
Branch: Oh, OK, great! (He guides Cloud Guy to the elevator.)
Poppy: Oh, no, no, no! Not down in the bunker!
Cloud Guy: Help me. (Branch turns on the elevator and they go down to his bunker.)
Branch: Can I offer you a refreshment? Perhaps something that’s been sitting in a mason jar for the last 120 to 130 months?
Cloud Guy: Uh… sure. (chuckles nervously)
Branch: Terrific. (He takes out a bucket of ice.) Just hold this heaping bucket of ice one sec while I turn around and pour.
Cloud Guy: Heaping b-bucket of ice? (He sees Branch whistling with his back turned as he pours some refreshments. He goes to pour the ice in Branch’s shorts, but stops.)
Branch: OK! (Cloud Guy opens a pocket in his body and pours the ice into it.) Now to add the ice and… (He sees Cloud Guy shivering and raining.) Uh… (He hears a bell dinging.) Oh! My pie is ready!
Cloud Guy: Wait! You… made a pie?! (Branch puts his arms around him.)
Branch: Oh, no, no. (He leads Cloud Guy to a room of pies.) I made lots of pies! (Cloud Guy’s mouth falls open in shock and he gasps.) Yeah, I’ve actually been baking all day. (He walks and Cloud Guy moves while knelt down.) You see, I got up early to try to find some stuff and forks in my yard for some berries, but it turns out the berries were on the other…
Cloud Guy: (In his head) Come on, fight it, Cloud Guy! If you give in and throw one of these pies at Branch, you’ll ruin Cloudmas! (He takes a pie and gets ready to throw it at Branch, but he takes out another pie from his oven.)
Branch: Here.
Cloud Guy: Huh? I-is that…
Branch: A traditional Cloudmas Pie! At least, I think so. I had to bake a lot of trial-and-error pies, but I think I finally got it right. (Cloud Guy drops the pie was carrying as Branch gives him a fork. He tastes the pie and a child’s laughter is heard.)
Cloud Guy: It… it’s just like my cloud momma used to make.
Branch: Yeah, well, I came across this old library book about Cloudmas a while back and… I don’t know. I guess I wanted to do something nice for you, too.
Cloud Guy: You really did all this for me?
Branch: (Picking up a sweater with a picture of himself) Does this answer your question?
Sweater Branch: I did it for you! (Branch and Cloud Guy laugh and they sing Cloudmas Time Together.)
(Cloud Guy)
Decorate the cloud
Smiles all around
It’s the perfect Cloudmas
Kind of weather
(Branch)
Silver linings shine
Lighting up the sky
When we’re spending Cloudmas time together
(Cloud Guy)
‘Cause it’s the season where
A friendship starts to bloom
(Branch)
If anything can bring
Together me and you
(Both)
You know it’s spending Cloudmas time together (They sit by the fire and toast each other’s mugs.)
Cloud Guy: Wow. What a day we’ve had.
Branch: What a day.
Both: I hate this.
Cloud Guy: Branch, I had an amazing Cloudmas with you, but-
Branch: It’s just not who we are. (A clock’s ringing is heard.)
Both: Huh?
Cloud Guy: It’s midnight! Which means…
Both: (As they stand up in their chairs while holding pies) Cloudmas is over! (They throw the pies at each other as the words “Merry Cloudmas” appear as the episode ends.)
(Both)
Spending Cloudmas time together
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