Mumble

Demigod of Thieves.    
               During the ordering of the world, the logical Ein Sof determined that the world of intrigue, thievery, cons and conspiracies needed a divine overseer. Ein Sof decided that the perfect creature for such a job would be a homonculi who is getting pickled inside of a jar. His name is Mumble, and he is always being carried around by a brick shithouse of a man named Swanson the Stupid inside of their tavern, named The Loopy Broad. A dump full of gamblers and scumbags.
               If you go further into the back of The Loopy Broad, you end up in the halls of The Doom Channel. The Doom Channel is an underground network of spies, master thieves, diplomats, assassins and merchants. It is called The Doom Channel because it demands a lifetime commitment to the organization that effectively dooms you to it. After awhile, you owe too many people favors, someone is always looking for you. You’re doomed. Even if you are a member, you never really quite know who is or isn’t a member. The only thing you know is you’re kicking up to Mumble. 
               Mumble is a collector of rare and exotic items, but his collection has one prize. Mumble’s Diamond. It is a softball sized diamond in a brilliant, lustrous white color and it is the most valuable thing to ever exist. As it can never come in the jar with him, even Mumble has never truly touched it.