Bart of Darkness/Quotes

:Seymour Skinner: I hardly think it's fair to be charged full price. I'm up to my knees in the original cast of M*A*S*H.
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:Hans Moleman: Well, you're certainly doing your job, Mr. Sun. (Hans' glasses act as a burning glass with the sun's rays and ignite his shirt on fire)
:Hans Moleman: Oh rats!
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:Homer: I got the idea when I noticed the refrigerator was cold.
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:Homer: Marge, could you set the oven to cold?
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:Ice Cream Man: (shouting as he drives by) Ice cream! Ice cream! We are all out of ice cream!
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:Bart {talking to himself}: No way that could be Ned Flanders.
:Ned Flanders: (yelling in grief) I'M NOT A MUR-DIDDLY-ER-DLER!!!
:Bart: If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework.
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:Bart: Check it out Lis, I nabbed three swim trunks, all Martin's!
:(Martin is shown wearing numerous swim trunks)
:Martin: Take your best shot. I'm wearing seventeen layers.
:(Kids mob Martin)
:Martin: Ha ha ha!
:(Kids leave and Martin is now naked)
:Martin: Oh....I brought this on myself.
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:Lisa: Dad, as you know, we've been swimming and we've developed a taste for it. We both agree that getting a pool is the only way to go. Now before you respond, you must understand that your refusal will result in months and months of..
:Bart and Lisa: Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad?
:Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
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:Dr. Hibbert: I'm sorry, that leg's gonna have to come off. Did I say leg? I meant that wet bathing suit.
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:Lisa: Shut up, brain! I've got friends now. I don't need you anymore.
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:Marge: Maybe we should spend more time with Bart. He's becoming isolated and weird.
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:Martin: My plan has come to fruition! Soon, I'll be queen of summertime! Oh, king! King!
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:Marge: [to Bart] Mmm, I wish you'd stop spreading bad rumors about people. Remember how you got Grampa tarred and feathered?
:Bart: Sure, that was 20 minutes ago.
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:Bart: I'm telling you, Ned Flanders murdered his wife!
:Homer: But why? She's such a fox! I mean, what's on Fox tonight? Something ribald, no doubt...
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:Bart: Oh no, he's going to kill Rod and Todd! That's horrible...in theory.
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:Bart: But I saw the murder and then I saw you bury the corpse in the back yard!
:Ned: (crying) All right, it's true. I am a murderer! (everyone gasps) I overwatered Maude's favorite ficus plant, I panicked, then I buried the remains! (Maude gasps) I was hoping to replace it before you got home.
:Bart: But I heard a woman scream.
:Ned: Huh? Well, now that I can't explain.
:Lou: (holds up the plant) Found it, Chief.
:Ned: (screams like a woman)
:Bart: Oh. Well, I guess that explains everything.
:Homer: Not everything! There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife!
:Maude: Um, I'm right here.
:Homer: (sarcastically) Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little PACKAGE! (everyone looks at him) Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic.
:Ned: Maude, you're all right. I was so worried. Thank god, you've come home.
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:Chief Wiggum: (to a skinny-dipping Homer and Marge) Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked. Aw, come on, continue! Come on! Aw. All right, Lou, open fire.
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:Otto: (about the Pool-mobile) Sorry, Bart dude. We gotta fill this thing with Epsom Salt and jam it on over to the old folks' home.
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:Marge: Is it true that we should wait at least an hour after eating before we go in?
:Pool Salesman: Look, question lady, this job is not what I really do. I play keyboards.
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:(Bart falls from the treehouse)
:Nelson: Pardon me a moment, Ha-ha!
:Milhouse: Hey Nelson, he's really hurt. I think he broke his leg.
:Nelson: I said "Ha-ha!"
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:Jimbo: Hello, Mrs. ... Bart. Is your pool ready yet?
:Marge: Hrmmm...
:(Several children walk through the kitchen as Marge is making peanut butter sandwiches.)
:Marge: Bart, are all these children friends of yours?
:Bart: (with his mouth full) Friends and well-wishers, yes.
es:Bart of Darkness/Frases