Scumbags of the Internet - Number One/Transcript

== Transcript ==
"Welcome to "Scumbags of the Internet". A new feature at ADoseOfBuckley; where I find the seediest motherfuckers online, and expose them to you for your amusement. Sometimes they can be famous people, other times they're just some regular dipshit. Today's Scumbag of the Internet found a way to make prostitution more mobile. This is a Kijiji ad a friend of mine sent me;
"Hi"
"Hey how's it going?"
"I am 36 and looking for a female travel partner who has a passion for traveling,"
"As opposed to a travel partner who hates traveling."
"exploring new places and experience new cultures."
"Already you're saying;
Buckley what's wrong with this? Seems like a great opportunity to-
Well shut the fuck up, I'm not done yet."
"Expenses is not an issue for the right person. The person must love outdoors. I am looking for someone who can spare a total of 2-3 weeks a year for traveling at different times. The person must not smoke, not do drugs and must have a mature thinking. Also they shouldnt be a very heavy drinker. Plan is to travel withing Canada first and if it works well, then overseas too."
""Expenses not an issue for the right person." Why? Because they're gonna get fucked the whole trip in lieu of payment, that's why. You might be thinking;
How do you know it's a guy looking for a female partner? Couldn't it be a rich chick who wants someone to keep her company? 
Well, because:
Number 1: Who doesn't know someone of the same gender that would go on a free trip with them?
And number 2: This part:
Ad is listed under "jobs> part time, students>".
How many 36 year old women, want to travel around with a 20 year old girl? None, that's how many.
No, this is clearly a creepy 36 year old dude with a bunch of expendable income and low self esteem, that wants to fuck young girls all around the world, but doesn't wanna catch some local VD, or doesn't think he can get any women while he's out there; So he's gonna pack his own skank along with a toothbrush and socks. He wants them to have a "mature thinking", great sentence by the way, and not be druggies or heavy drinkers because he doesn't wanna get sued by girls claiming he took advantage of them, or saying they didn't know what they were getting into, which is a round-the-world fuckspadition; and I dont know what's worse; This guy, or the cheap whores that will take him up on is offer just to see a few mountains and a lake for free. So thanks to today's "Scumbags of the Internet" , lobe-trotting john and whatever tramps who take him up on his deal, for making us feel better for knowing whatever we do in life; 
We'll always be better than they are.
Category:Transcripts