Comebacks to Common Forum War "Insults"

This page is a list of some good comebacks to unoriginal "insults" you might see in every forum war. The "insult" is in bold. Comeback(s) are written normally. Please contribute to the list if you can!
I'm a big mature 31-year-old and proud, you're a teeny weeny newborn, honey smiley googoo! (: (: (:
If you're 31, give me some convincing selfies.
The "and proud" part makes me doubt you're actually 31.
Adults don't just go and describe themselves as big and mature.
Why are you on a children's game then? Besides, MSP will lock anybody 18+ unless they're a monitoring parent or a professional reviewer.
If I'm a newborn, how am I typing?
Not every newborn is teeny weeny...I'll just let you know that you're mixing up newborns with tiny bacteria.
Calling me childish nicknames won't make me a young kid.
"honey smiley googoo" Are you talking to me in your family's code language? I only accept English, sorry.
Ah, the overrated (: use. Isn't it growing old and immaturing over time?
Go die
Uh, these two words encourage suicide. I'm not even going to try though.
Y'know that's illegal. I've screenshotted this. Don't make me print it and send off the printed screenshot to the police. You'll fly off your swing and land behind bars in no time.
I'm laughing. You're such an 8 year old dimwit.
I'm silly and have the humor to tickle your humerus? Thanks for the compliment! I'll be sure to make more episodes of my comedy show.
Hey, at least 8 year olds are intelligent and are in the age range designed for MSP, unlike drunk young adults.
I'm stupid? Well, I don't see you shining your perfectly scored test to your parents like it's an apple to your teacher. I don't even see shoe polished plastic in your hands to proudly show.
Yeah, I have dark comebacks against you. Very dim indeed.
U scam and hack, lil ####### gingersnap
"U" Looks like somebody's using lingo to increase immaturity level by attempting to be mature and loved...!
Scam and hack? May I request the videos and screenshots of evidence?
"lil" MORE LINGO! WHY ARE YOU SPEAKING IN LEET?
Yup, safe chat's my husband, you ain't my babe.
Are you speaking in Donglish? Or are you Donny yourself? I have doubts about you not being Donny because of your word choices.
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