Valindor Rageclaw

Valindor Rageclaw is a night elf druid of the claw from Moonglade and a member of the Cenarion Circle.Valindor Rageclaw - Total Roleplay 3
==Physical Appearance==
Valindor is a night elf who stands at a taller than average in height and medium build in weight. Valindor has golden eyes.
== Biography ==
===Early life===
Valindor was born in Nighthaven to two druids, his feral father Balthol and his guardian mother Nimrel. That he would follow in their footsteps was never questioned, as they began to teach him the ways of the druid and how to be a keeper of Nature even before he was able to comprehend it.
Balthol and Nimrel were not in Valindor's life long, however, for they fell sway to the struggle to remain themselves in the face of the life as their chosen animal forms, as is oft a danger to those druids who regularly shift into animal forms. 
He became a ward of Archdruid Malfurion Stormrage,  but in truth the Archdruid did not raise him much and other druids took over the task as his surrogate family. 
Valindor's youth and life as a young adult saw him continue studying and learning the ways of the druid. His training was ever the trial though, as he was hot-headed and prone to bouts of anger bordering on mindless bestial rage. For that reason, the druid elder Symon who was one of his mentors, exasperatingly gave him the name "Rageclaw". Valindor took that as his last name, for he felt no connection to his surname Moonshadow and felt Rageclaw at least had some significance to his life.
Throughout his life Valindor would only know the confines of the Moonglade, until he knew every rock, tree, bird, and beast as well as the back of his hand. That would change once the Cenarion Circle decided he was no longer a youngling and officially recognized him as a druid. The Circle expected druids to go out into the lands and be the protectors and keepers of Nature that they were trained to be.
Soon after he found himself high up in Teldrassil after having been deposited by one of the druid's hippogryphs in Shadowglen.
===Valindor's Journal===
:: 
Entry 1
I happened to see Nymyrelle writing in a small blue book, which I think was her diary today.  I am curious about this elven priestess I have met and want to learn a lot more about her.  I think I am going to keep a journal at long last, despite ignoring the druids who kept telling me I should all my life.  At the worst, perhaps it will give Nymyrelle and I something to do together in our down time, which will allow me to spend more time with her.
 
Entry 2
 
I may as well write something serious in this at last.  It is not as if I will misplace this journal and have others who I do not wish to read see what is in it.
 
That familiar dream came again last night.
 
I was a scared young boy who stood on Archdruid Malfurion Stormrage's porch and watched my parents shift into their animal forms and walk away without looking back once.  Seriously, what sort of parent does that?  How can you have a child and tell them you love them and all...only to give in to some selfish need, so you drop your kid off with another so you can live your lives free of that "baggage".
 
Malfurion rested a hand upon my shoulder as I wept, but he never did really comfort me.  Not then and rarely ever as I grew.  Sure I was his ward, but in truth it was just a formality.  I found myself staying with other druids more oft than not, learning from them, and basically being raised by them too, despite being the vagabond who went from home to home.  Elder Symon and Elder Cyndia were the two who raised me the most and were basically my surrogate mother and father.  They were kind folk and I still find myself missing them since they went off to the Eastern Continent on assignment for the Circle many long years ago.
 
I still do not fully understand why my parents left me as they did.  Even writing this now, I find myself getting angry.  That rage is always burning, roiling just under the surface of my skin.  It was far worse when I was younger, especially if someone thought to tease or mock me for it.  How many brutal fights did I get into?  I have lost count.  But by the goddess, I was a hothead.  Still am, I guess, though I control it better.
 
Unless the rage overtakes me, as it did in front of Nymyrelle and Illeath.  Like usual, I did not even realize it until after I lay upon the ground, panting and exhausted.  I saw the concern and fear in Nymyrelle's eyes though she said she would still heal me.  But I wonder if I have frightened her away.  Illeath did not seem to care one whit about it.  She seems pretty easy going.
 
Entry 3
 
Nymyrelle Silentmoon.  All I can say is wow.  She and I have been in each other's company more and more of late as we help our elven brethren about Teldrassil and Darkshore.  This small elven priestess is rather austere and reminds me of some of the older druids who preach wisdom and consideration before action.  Something which has never been my way, for I follow my heart.  She follows her mind more.
 
But still there is something about her.  She is a pretty maiden, but what has attracted me to her is more her personality.  She is sweet and gentle and kind.  Whereas I can sometimes be raging passion, she is cool serenity.  I am finding that even though we are quite different, already I am starting to pause and reconsider things as if I were in her shoes and not my own.  It is uncanny.
 
I did give her a gift today though.  I was fishing and found a remarkably large catfish.  Because my sense of humor is sort of warped, I decided to give it to Nymyrelle.  Of course, I decided to make it all the more "special" by shifting into a bear and swimming in the lake before running up to her soaked and dropping the fish off at her feet!
 
Even better?  She later regifted it to me!  Hah!  Perhaps she does have a sense of humor as well!  I know she rarely smiles, but tends to smirk often.  I do not know if I like that.  Smirks often hide some sort of cruelty or meanness behind them.  Sometimes jest as well, but usually the former.  I do not think she is secretly cruel, but her rare smile is sweet and gentle with an innocent joy.
 
Recently we have been in Darkshore more often and a druidess caught us and said something about "don't ever break up".  It caught us both by surprise, but I find I myself thinking that the druidess is correct and that there is something between us which is pretty amazing.  I indulged in that druidess' words, but Nymyrelle ran off.  I did not know if she was angry or embarrassed, but it turned out to be the latter.
 
Later after our tasks had been completed for the day, the skies opened up and it began to rain heavily.  Nymyrelle wanted to get out of the rain like a good and proper priestess.  Me, I ended up being insolent.  Surprise surprise.  I ran out into the rain and began to dance for her.  At first she looked horrified or exasperated, but then started smiling and when I wrapped my arms about her and got her all wet, she did not slap me as I dragged her out into the rain as well.
 
We danced for a bit, then she actually danced by herself for a short time.  It was...I do not know how to describe it.  Beautiful.  So...perfect.
 
After that, though, she got cold and asked to get out of the rain because of her poor health.  I did not realize that was such a problem with her, but we went indoors and I tried to find something to make a fire so that she could warm up.  Or at least find a fire to sit beside.  By the ancestor spirits, I could not find a fire to save my life.  Instead we went into the inn to try and get out of the drafts, but were not completely successful.
 
But not all was lost.  All I had left was my body heat to keep her warm and she seemed grateful and immediately snuggled up against me.  We talked for a time before drifting off to sleep, but she never once stirred from her place in my arms.  I cannot explain why, but I rested better like that than I ever have in the softest of beds.
 
I think I am falling for this elven priestess.  But we have only known each other for a short time!  Her manner is far more cautious and I am afraid if I say or do anything that she may prove to actually be the skittish doe I suspect she is and flee.  If that happens, it could ruin what has grown between us.  I do not know what to do.
 
But I know without a doubt that I have strong feelings for her.
 
Entry 4
 
I feel horrible. Darkshore has been suffering from some sort of contamination and the creatures who drink the water from the Cliffspring River have been showing signs of sickness. Deer show some of the greatest symptoms and look to be suffering. I did not know of any cure and my healing magics did not help, so as we druids oft do, I have been putting the poor creatures out of their misery as painlessly as possible.
 
And yet, the Archdruid has had me working with Mathrengyl Bearwalker in Darnassus and Allandarin Nightsong in Auberdine because they believed they could find a cure. And find one they have!
 
How many dozens of innocent and gentle deer have I destroyed? How many would still be alive if I had not over-reacted and instead had the patience to seek out other means to solve a problem? Ah, what a fool I have been!
 
If only I had thought things through more. But whatever. It is done. All of those poor creatures were slaughtered even if they did not need to be. I will have to get over it. If I can.
 
Entry 5
 
I fear I shall never again shall I behold something more beautiful than the night sky in Darnassus, with the gentle glow of Elune illuminating all softly and the stars twinkling high overhead. Or the sight of the city during that blessed night.
 
Nor shall I forget how Nymyrelle guided me to a room missed my most it seems so that she and I could stare over the beautiful scene with her snuggled up in my arms.
 
And most especially, I will never forget how she turned to kiss me and told me she loved me.
 
Ah the joy and bliss and relief that she felt as I did still causes my head to swim with the euphoria! I have felt this way about her since shortly after we met, but her demure demeanor and skittish doe-like personality made me wary to speak, in case a premature admittance caused her flight.
 
But she told me she loved me. I am ecstatic!
 
Entry 6
 
I have been having dreams the past several nights about a great hunting cat prowling the grasslands and forests. What it hunts, I cannot say. But it slips through the lands like a living shadow, soundlessly, without disturbing anything. Not even a leaf or blade of grass.
 
I feel a yearning stirring within me though. Especially when there is a brief flash in the dream, as if I am seeing through the cat’s eyes, feeling my body glide effortlessly about the land. I feel more alive than I ever have. I feel the power and grace of my feline body. I see and smell the world about me in ways I cannot put into words, but it all feels more “real”.
 
Every so often I catch a scent and feel a deep insatiable hunger within me, as if my inner beast were trying to claw its way out from the strangle hold I keep upon it so that I do not lose myself to its rage.
 
I think I need to seek out elder Mathrengyl Bearwalker or perhaps impose upon Archruid Malfurion Stormrage and ask them for their counsel and advice. I am wondering if I am having dreams about my father Bathol, for he was a feral druid who oft lived in the shape of a great nightsaber. If so, what does this mean?
 
Entry 7
 
I do not know why I did it, but I gave the oath of a guardian to Nymyrelle, to be her protector and shield against danger. I, who hate being tied down in general, did not just agree to this, but actually gave an oath. Only the oath to be a keeper of Nature when I first became an official druid have I ever given, and even that was reluctant.
 
I keep replaying that act in my mind and at first wondered if I simply did not overreact or perhaps feared if I did not do something so drastic that she might find herself paired with another, should the priestesses contact the druids to have someone protect her.
 
Since I preempted that possibility by swearing an oath under Elune and before Ursoc, the druids will have no choice but to abide by my oath. Fortunately they take such things very seriously, even if I am not a guardian druid swearing to protect some important druid healer. Instead, it is me protecting a healer priestess of Elune. Not really that much different…ah who am I kidding. Even in my own journal I am trying to wriggle out excuses as to why I did what I did.
 
The truth is, I want to be Nymyrelle’s protector. I want her to know that it is me she can rely on for her safety and security and not someone else. I also wish to be constantly at her side and not have that honor go to another person. Perhaps all of this was incredibly selfish, but that is too bad.
 
I foresee much upbraiding and complaints about me returning to the impertinence of my youth, but it was worth it.
 
Entry 8
 
It seems the dreams of the great hunting cat were a calling. One directed not at me, but at my soul.
 
After Nymyrelle fell asleep in Astranaar’s inn, I left and sought out elder Mathrengyl about my dreams and he smiled gently and dropped whatever he was working on to take me out into the woodlands outside of Darnassus.
 
There he spoke at length about druids of the claw and how some, like my mother, embrace their protective guardian nature and oft favor the shape of the great bear: a creature of great strength and stamina who is an unmovable wall of determination and willpower and will let nothing harm that which they guard.
 
Then he mentioned about how some, like my father, embrace their fierce unrelenting hunter nature and usually favor the shape of the great hunting cat: a creature of grace and agility whose naturally ferocious hunting instinct sees them as one of the apex predators of the wilds and will let nothing stand in the way of their intended prey.
 
All of this I already knew and I grew rather bored from the familiar lesson, until Elder Mathrengyl said that some druids are guided along their path through their dreams as something or someone nudges our souls down along the path we were meant to follow.
 
It is not a common event, but it is not exactly uncommon either as evidenced by my mother and father apparently having had similar dreams. When I asked why this happens, the elder druid could only shrug and say that perhaps Nature knows what it needs and so chooses for it the right tool when it is needed.
 
After saying that, he spent several hours with me as he instructed me in how to take the form of a hunting cat. It is an odd sensation, far different and less cumbersome than the form of a bear. But I also do not feel as solid, as if a heavy blow could knock me away.
 
But I feel so alive. So free! I glide across the lands in leaps and bounds. I feel a great hunger within me for living creatures and the desire to taste their warm blood upon my tongue. I know it is a natural thing, the hunger of a predator, but I have not yet given into it.
 
There is so much to learn about this. I almost feel reborn in a way! Does this mean I shall be more like my father and eschew the form of the bear, one which I have known for some time now? I do not know. But I guess I will find out as time passes.
 
Entry 9
 
Elder Mathrengyl Bearwalker sent word for Nymyrelle and I to speak with him. I knew it had to be serious and I was pretty sure it had to do with the vow I made to protect Nymyrelle. I was right.
 
He was in a fury! I cannot recall him ever being so upset...to the point he threatened my place in the druidic order if I transgressed in such a way again. I was shocked, but shall heed his words. Now with Nymyrelle at my side as our love grows, I find my path before me is clearer than ever and I would not have anything change.
 
We told the elder about our feelings too. I fear other druids may make fun of it, but I have found the one meant for me and could not be happier. I am still smiling too over our first time making love a day before. But do not want it to seem I am too eager for such a thing, because I think Nymyrelle is still uncertain about it all.
 
Entry 10
 
The Eastern Continent has been the place Nymyrelle and I found ourselves. She had been called there for some duties, but I also had a couple, one which had to do with that gnome seeking to end the goblin deforestation in Stonetalon.
 
The hunting there is...wonderful. At least in the Wetlands around Menethil Harbor, where the ship from Auberdine docks. Crocolisks, raptors, and more! I was awash in the flood of primal urges. I fear I may have lost myself a few times, but only for a brief moment. This new form, that of a cat, truly sings to my heart and I know without a doubt that I am a feral druid. It is nice to finally have some certainties.
 
I am finally feeling like everything is on the right path. Gods, but I do not want all this good to end.
 
We did not simply linger about the Wetlands though, for we passed through Loch Modan, Dun Morogh...where I showed Nymyrelle the great forge and that massive city cut from the living stone of the mountain. The dwarves have made something wonderful, but I felt constricted and stifled there. An amazing place, but not for me.
 
I learned about Nymyrelle's home up in the snowy mountains too. And how she used to hate the snow, but told me about how beautiful she found the snow-covered trees and landscape. The terrain was rugged and she shivered from the cold, so I changed into a bear and let her ride me so that she could save her strength and keep warm close against me and my fur. I loved feeling her against me. She really is perfect.
 
From there we went by tram to Stormwind and explored about there before heading south to Westfall. Then east to a dark forest, though I cannot recall the name of that land, nor the land south which Nymyrelle wished to go. A great jungle with vicious creatures far too mighty for her and I alone.
 
Had it not been for the aid of a brethren hunter, I do not believe we would ever have found our way to this Booty Bay, a wretched town at the south of that land. But there Nymyrelle found the fisherman she was seeking, so it ended up okay.
 
In the end, we helped a lot of people, saw more lands than I can even recall, gathered a lot of supplies both of hide and herb, and returned hale to Darnassus.
 
It was an amazing journey. Wearying and I worried about Nymyrelle's health, but she kept up without complaint. But all went very well.
 
Entry 11
 
It has been a whilst since I last wrote in this. I have been busy...but in a good way.
 
We have been continuing aiding our brethren and the lands, with many successes, though it seems that those helped always have some new pressing issue. Still, part of our duty is to aid and strengthen our brethren, even if I would have them stand up on their own strength as well.
 
I continue to gain strength as I explore my new form, this of the great hunting cat. I have almost fully eschewed that of the bear, though acknowledge that it has its place and so will continue to practice taking it as well, for those times I require great brute strength and the drawing eye of such a creature.
 
My primal instincts and passions I have been fully delving into. The love of the wind blowing in my face and fur as I run swifter than any deer. The thrill of the hunt as I stalk my prey, then when the moment is right I pounce, crushing the life from my victim. There is a purity in it, a sense of clarity and certainty. I find my thoughts dwell more and more on it and that in turn makes me understand my parents and their decision more.
 
They are still not excused, but I understand it more.
 
I met a druidess whilst roaming Ashenvale as a cat. Aria. She too favors the form of the cat and travels down the feral path. I ran to her aid whilst hunting and saw her surrounded by three great bears. They outmatched her, so I bulled in, clawing and biting and hissing as my rage overtook me.
 
In short order, we had ended the bears, at which point she shifted back into the form of a night elf and was bleeding profusely. I offered to tend to her wounds and she surprised me with a kiss on my cheek in thanks once I was done. She and I talked a bit and I found myself curious to learn more of this passionate woman, for she and I are very much alike. It might be fun to go out on a great hunt with another cat.
 
Other passions I have been delving deeply into as well. Nymyrelle and I have found this small house near a shrine in Ashenvale, one which is out of the way and the path is infested with spiders and wolves. Basically, a perfect little hideaway for those who wish privacy.
 
She brought me there a day after I swatted her backside and she took offense. I still think she felt guilty at her reaction and how it bothered me, but she wanted to make love again and explore more deeply our intimacy and passions.
 
I know she was hesitant before, but it seems like she really wishes to now and I enjoy seeing her cast off doubt and explore what exists between us.
 
There was also Nymyrelle Night. All I can say is that I think that small house off the path may be one of my favorite places now.
 
I really am delighted with everything though...both my path as a druid and my personal relationship with Nymyrelle. Everything is just so perfect. I do not think I have ever been happier.
 
Entry 12
 
I lost myself fully to the inner beast within me today. And I loved it.
 
I roamed about Ashenvale, stalking and hunting deer and bear. From one to the next I went, never stopping except to tend to any larger wounds, for the scent of the creatures filled my nostrils with each breath and caused my blood to boil within me. I do not know how long I continued the hunt, but I reveled in the life within me and did not want it to end.
 
I really need to pace myself though, for I feel the desire to be consumed by the beast looming over my shoulder and growing larger. I keep telling myself that I am in control, but the truth is I love the freedom and exhilaration of being a great hunting cat: faster, stronger, more agile, deadlier than almost all other creatures out in the wilds.
 
I did this alone for some time, but then was pleasantly surprised by Aria. I saw her running along the path near Astranaar and when she saw me, she bounded up to me and tackled me. I only admit in this journal that she beat me and that is why she ended up on top after the wrestling match. In public and to her face, I will swear I let her defeat me if I am asked.
 
She and I roamed the woodlands of Ashenvale a bit, once more hunting deer and bear. She is an herbalist like Nymyrelle, so whilst we hunted, I gathered the hides of creatures and she sought out herbs. It was an enjoyable and high paced jaunt, for both of us as cats moved swiftly, struck fiercely, and moved to the next creature.
 
We did not hunt for long, because she had to depart elsewhere, but I realized after a while she was flirting heavily with me...and I was flirting back. Not anything terrible, but the playful swat of a paw or whack of a tail against the other as we passed. She knows I am in madly love with Nymyrelle, but either does not care or perhaps is trying to attract my attention.
 
I am suspecting the latter, because I am pretty certain she kept trying to purposefully get my attention with her body in that skimpy outfit she wears when in her elven form. She is so different from my Nymyrelle too and more like what I used to chase after. Lush, curvy, playful, and knows full well just how lovely she is and so enjoys teasingly presenting it for others enjoyment. If I was not with Nymyrelle, I would be chasing her. But I am exceedingly happy as I am and told Aria that. She simply smiled and said I was lucky to find what I have. I agree.
 
Entry 13
 
Black Fathom Deeps. There is a ruin along the coast of Ashenvale that Nymyrelle and I entered after performing some duties for our people in that area. The fishy creatures and satyrs are some that were apparently corrupted and we were tasked to gather their brainstems for study. All I know is that they are powerful foes. We quickly learned to be wary of them.
 
But it seems these ruins go deeply into the earth. We traversed only a small portion before being driven back. I would like to see more of what lies beneath. I also am not complaining at the great wealth within it. I walked out with perhaps two gold or more from coins and items. I am poor and so this was a godsend!
 
Entry 14
 
Something happened today and I do not know what to think about it. Actually, all I have been doing is thinking about it. And am starting to get kind of angry over it because I feel a fool and almost as if I was being played a bit.
 
I was hunting raptors in the Wetlands again as I aided some dwarves there and began to engage in the hunt when I caught my favorite scent upon the wind: Nymyrelle's.
 
I chased her down and we engaged in a small venture there, gathering herbs, helping some of the locals, and so on. At one point in Menethil, I jested about a chain mail bra upon a woman, which I jestingly said I knew Nymyrelle wants. She told me she had something far softer I she thought I would like to see. After mentioning how cold and wet she was, I naturally suggested finding her a place to dry off and get her warm and that led to talks about seeing this "article of clothing".
 
So we headed back to Darnassus where she picked it up and then I suggested we head to "our house" off the beaten path, since that is where she and I have been enjoying our intimate time. She was being her usual playful self, teasing, hinting. I was growing more and more eager, because I have really enjoyed our intimacy together since she has been liking it and encouraging it as well.
 
We got the house and she changed into something that really got my heart beating...these shorts which were so short as to be more akin to underwear, and a shirt that was...wow. Even writing about it now I feel my pulse racing. It was simple, really, but offered an amazing amount of cleavage and soft flesh. She slowly, teasingly walked towards me and I was getting ready to enjoy her again as we engaged in our passions.
 
Until...we did not. I am still trying to recall exactly what she said and did, but basically...she said she did not have the passions I did, said that she was still an ice princess, and that she was only expecting cuddling and thought that is what I wanted too. Really?
 
We have only gone to that house for intimacy and she got into an outfit more revealing and sexy than anything else she has ever worn and acted in a way as if she were encouraging lovemaking...only to stop it all like a brick wall and say she thought that is what I was wanting or expecting?
 
I was so confused. I am still so confused, in fact. I mean, I would have been fine with just cuddling and all if that is what I understood was the intention and her desire. I have never pressured her for sex, in fact, I have openly stated I was fine without when she was uncertain. I feel as if I have been supportive of her with that uncertainty.
 
But then she has been instigating and encouraging and I thought she and I were of similar minds with our love, our paths, our actions, and everything. I have been really happy with all of it, because I felt certain that she was as happy about how things have been as I was.
 
Apparently I was wrong. And somehow, I never realized it. And that above all else is bothering me and upsetting me. I would have given an oath that she and I were of similar minds all this time on all aspects of our relationship...but now, I do not know. I hate this sudden uncertainty. HATE it.
 
And now I am questioning a lot of things, mostly about myself. Because I wonder if I have missed other signs? Have there been other obvious signs I have missed? Am I just a fool who has been deluding himself and seeing what he has wanted to see with everything?
 
I wish she would have said something instead of how all of this came about. I honestly believe it was a horrible way she brought it up, especially after getting in that outfit and making me think...ah whatever. I do not know what to think right now.
 
Entry 15
 
I met another druid in Darnassus...though feel horrible, because I am completely drawing a blank to his name right now. We spent a good deal of time together too as we talked about nature and I even led him to the Eastern Continent to show him the path to the second half of the talisman so he can learn the aquatic form of the sea lion.
 
I really enjoyed it all the more, because for a time, I could forget about earlier with myself and Nymyrelle. Especially because I am really feeling uncertain about myself. I am second guessing much of what I am doing. Even when the druid was asking me questions, I could feel myself replaying my words in my head, fearing I had misspoken. This is so aggravating.
 
He actually asked me if I would consider being his mentor. With all that is going on, my first instinct was to say no. I am kind of ashamed at that, though I did really want to at the time. But I like the idea of having another druid I can speak to about druidic stuff. Aria and I did that too, but I have not seen her since our last time together. Which is probably good right now, because I am hurting and I fear my weakness. I really want someone to comfort me. Or I want to do something to just allow me to forget about it and my failing for a time.
 
So perhaps I will do so...if we meet again. He said he was intending to linger and hunt about Westfall for a while, so I may not even see him in the west for a time.
 
The other druid ended up having to leave in the Wetlands, but I had showed him the road and if he stays to it, he will be safe until he has to pass over the fields of Westfall to get to the sea.
 
After he left, I sought out the raptors and the embracing of my inner beast and that mindless primal rage. I sought out the hunt. And so went to the excavation site where there are those powerful raptors and slaughtered them mercilessly. In hindsight, I look back and think again I need to pace myself...not just so that I do not lose myself as a person as my parents did, but at the imbalance I created from the slaughter of so many creatures in such a small area.
 
But I needed it. For a time, all of my uncertainties melted away. There was only the fire in my belly, my blood and that of my prey flowing freely, the taste of their life as I dominated the creatures and snuffed out their spark. It was nature at its purest: survival of the fittest, the cycle of life and death, strength and those lesser falling away from the strength. I did not let the creatures go to waste fully, for I skinned each for their hide and my pack was heavy once done.
 
I came upon an alpha though and had pounced before I realized the strength and might of the creature. It was ferocious and ere I persevered, it made an odd cry and lunged with such a powerful blow that was nearly felled from it.
 
I barely was able to stop the bleeding before my life drained out as had happened to so many raptors. But I kept the wound and returned to Darnassus. I told Nymyrelle when I saw her in Auberdine that I kept it as a reminder for me to not grow too certain, because that is when the unforeseen blow will land...or something to that affect.
 
That is true. This uncertainty is killing me. I only am sure about myself when I am hunting now. And it is stupid in all reality. Nothing really has changed. But I just cannot get over the fact that I missed something so greatly, that I misread Nymyrelle so thoroughly in that one aspect.
 
I do not even really care that there may not be anymore intimacy, though I am going to miss it. And my passions and lusts will rise and I will have to fight them and try to not offend her with them. That is something which has bothered me since the rump swatting incident. It is a small thing, but I feel as if I have to guard a part of myself and close it away.
 
I do care though that I was so blind to have not seen it and was walking along in life, blithely and naively happy that everything was perfect, only to run face first into a brick wall that was apparently there.
 
How could I have missed it? What else am I missing?
 
Regardless, the love is still there. The sweet romance and everything remains. I love my Nymyrelle with all my heart, but she has noticed the change. I did not take off my pauldrons or chest armor when we went to our room in Darnassus. Nor did I sleep in the bed with her, but laid at the floor in the form of a cat to protect her sleep.
 
I do not wish to feel vulnerable right now. And I do not trust myself with her in a bed. I need a few days to let my feeling settle and hope that all of this uncertainty boils over once I have pondered and investigated everything internally to my heart's content.
 
I hope I can work out my inner demons though. I do not like how I am feeling. Nor that what calls to me the most is the seductive lure of the beast.
 
Entry 16
 
So I am an idiot. That wound from the alpha raptor ended up getting infected, likely because I was crawling through the fetid waters of the fens in the Wetlands. I tried to heal myself and purify my body, but the truth is that disease and illness like that is Nymyrelle's specialty. We druids can mend flesh and purify unnatural issues within a body, such as external poison or curses, but not diseases or illnesses.
 
I returned to Darnassus a mess due to the infection and found Nymyrelle just waking up in bed. Even as sick as I was and with the issues we have been having, all I saw was a sparkling diamond aglow with the light of Elune before me...and my heart thumped in my chest with love. All I wanted was to throw my self at her feet and beg for our problems to go away so that we could be happy together again.
 
Bless that lovely woman though, for she immediately saw I was suffering and jumped to the task, purifying my body and seeing to my healing. Just hearing her voice and having her concerned over me was a salve to my soul, but her magics were wondrous too.
 
Then she prepared a salve and had me lay down because she said it could sting. Gods, she was not jesting. I thought I had a fairly high pain tolerance thanks to constantly being torn and wounded by my foes, but perhaps the illness which ravaged me showed another affect, because for a short time, it hurt like wildfire. I tried to hide that fact...but failed. She only showed concern and love, not a hint of a smirk or mocking. What a gentle soul she is. And that old trick or whatever she knew which somehow caused her hands to warm and relax the areas she touched was amazing.
 
Just having her touching me again was amazing. And like a scared little boy I meekly asked...eh, truth be told i begged for her to continue her caress of me. Thank the gods she nor anyone else will ever read this journal, but with all of our issues, all I have wanted is for someone to comfort me and tell me it would all be okay. Like what I would believe a mother might do for her son as he fought through some issue.
 
She did that and more. And it opened up a chance for us to speak more...and I believe that we finally understand each other and things are on the mend. I am so happy about it too, because I have missed her so much.
 
The real crime is that this issue, which was our first fight I guess, was all due to a misunderstanding. I feel kind of foolish about it, but there it is. I just hope she and I will continue to speak openly and improve upon our communication more as time goes on.
 
Entry 17
 
What is it an old hedge-mage night elf wants? Gold? Rare herbs? Trinkets? Wild and passionate sex? Nope! Old hedge-mages are willing to do anything asked of them for...fish. Fish! Hah! Ah, my Nymyrelle, you are great!
 
She and I went to Stonetalon today and I was in a whimsical mood, likely because I am still giddy that she and I have I think worked out the problems from before. But I found a tent and so being the git that I am, pretended to be an old hedge-mage and asked the soft, young, impressionable, nubile, ideally seducable elf maiden what she wanted. Of course, being Nymyrelle, she wanted rare herbs. And rare herbs I had! Granted, they were simply tea leaves I found in the woods, but I could concoct all sorts of lies about what they might be.
 
And so the matter of payment came up. And so she fled! I had no idea what she might bring back, though I thought perhaps she would have been in the cleavage shirt or something, a little tease as payment, since she knows I enjoy that sort of thing so much.
 
But no! Bless her, she brought and offering of our favored gift that we pass back and forth: a fish! I am still laughing about it.
 
We have been here in the Stonetalon mountains for a couple of days now, due to the foul Venture Co. and their deforestation and also because of all the problems in the Charred Vale. To be honest, I kind of enjoyed it. I felt unleashed and free. Our foes were thick as fleas on a mongrel and we had many requests for various activities within that Vale as the elves seek to reclaim it from the foulness that infests it.
 
The hunt was vicious and bloody and...satisfying. I felt the inner beast creep up a lot, yearning to be released so that I could mindlessly tear apart all that moved and assert my dominance and power.
 
But Nymyrelle was there. And I am responsible for her safety, though I do not look upon it as only a duty. I love feeling useful to her. I love each time a foe is bent to harm her and I can swoop in and take them down before they can lay a foul finger upon her. I love being her protector and knowing that I have a place by her side. That I am important.
 
Our time in the Stonetalon Mountains was not really momentous, but it really has been a great time.
 
Entry 18
 
 
 
 
:
==Trivia==
==External links and references==
Category:Characters
Category:Night Elf
Category:Druid
Category:Alliance