Take a Hike

==Overview==
Double Heads Variety Hour presents “Take a Hike," where DJs Matt Fox and Dillon Minacci presents a playlist combining songs about forests and woods. They meet a strange child in the woods, interview irresponsible adults, and learn about essential oils. Listen to the episode.
==Episode Summary==
The episode begins with DJs Matt and Dillon in the woods trying to set up a tent. As mentioned last week, they are now on a camping trip and decided to visit the 100 Acre Woods, which is in Texas off Highway 42. Before they can get their equipment fully set up, a strange child emerges from the woods. Her name is Gretchen Newton, and she is a seven-year-old Super Brownie Girl Scout from troop 428. She claims she has been lost in the woods for 75 hours and ate a squirrel 20 minutes prior to stay alive. She is also working on her politeness merit badge.
Gretchen explains that she was with her troop and troop master Kathy Day, who is recently divorced. Gretchen's mother, Daisy Fray Newton, is also newly single, and she has not seen her father in 3.5 years.
The DJs receive a call from troop master Kathy Day, who seems unconcerned that she lost Gretchen. She claims Gretchen is working on an "82 hours" badge, which she is just seven hours from earning. Gretchen also claims Kathy drinks "adult juice" in her coffee thermos. Kathy's call is quickly followed by a call from Martha Lipschitz, Kathy's best friend and essential oil salesperson. She assures the DJs that Kathy is a great person, and also that she has peppermint and lavender oils for sale. The DJs hang up on her.
Gretchen offers to catch and slaughter a wild hog for the DJs so she can get her wild hog badge. The DJs also need to start a fire but aren't sure how to do it, and Gretchen suggests they try, and if they are doing it right she'll clap her hands. She also reveals that her father left their family for a mistress in Key West named Barbara. Gretchen is from Alpine, TX, attends Pine Oaks Kindergarten in the bottom floor of Pine Oaks High School, and can hold her breath for three hours.
The DJs start to feel like they're not in reality. Gretchen becomes increasingly strange, making evil laughs and saying that she'll leave the woods before the DJs do. They go back into the music.
The music fades, and we are now in Austin General Hospital. Matt has been recording live from the hospital while Dillon remains in a coma. His heart monitor fluctuates drastically, and Nurse Gretchen keeps Matt updated on his status. Suddenly, Dr. Paddy Whack arrives to read Dillon's charts, but he doesn't appear to be a real doctor. It turns out that he's a clown doctor who is there to lift people's spirits. At first Matt is skeptical, but Dr. Paddy Whack's prop comedy winds him over.
Matt and the medical professionals decide the genres complement.
==Featured Characters==
Matt Fox
Dillon Minacci
Gretchen Newton
Kathy Day
Martha Lipschitz
Nurse Gretchen
Dr. Paddy Whack
==Featured Music==
The Knife - "Behind the Bushes"
System of a Down - "Forest"
Ludique - "Lost in the Woods"
The Aquabats! - "Knowledge"