Coffee of Doom specials

The Coffee of Doom Specials on the blackboard are most often jokes by the Coffee of Doom staff, typically involving black humor (e.g., "We stab you so you can call in sick").
User beaniesue on the LiveJournal QC group compiled a list of CoD specials through comic 1432 and updated it to show Coffee of Doom specials through mid-2010.
==1–999==
*Rockin Latte
*Black Metal Mocha
*Emospresso
*Electroclash Frappe
*“Tip us or we will kill again”
*Latte w/ Bourbon-flavored syrup
*Fried Egg Mocha
*Shot of espresso and a punch in the mouth
*“We are surly because you suck”
*Flavors of teh day
*Sextuple espresso
*Latte of DOOM
*Vodkoffee!
*Today’s Specials
*“Yum” Triple Chocolate Mocha
*“Eww!” – Triple Pork Mocha
*“Fuck you, bladder” – 60 oz. coffee
*“Starbucks is for assholes”
*Triple Chocolate mocha
*Triple mocha chocolate
*Spam, spam, spam, mocha, and spam
*We stab you so you can call in sick
*“Please do not poke the baristas”
*Today is Free Beating Day
*for more info, please annoy the nearest employee
*Red Bull and Peanut Butter
*Espresso in espresso
*No-Doz 20oz
*Triple espresso brownie
*Triple brownie espresso
*We Prank-Call your Boss
*TEA OF DOOM (x eyes dead smilie face)
*A sharp blow to the back of the head
*Tea (tea is for wimps)
*Pseudomocha
*Wedgies!
*Regular ol’ coffee (with snakes)
*Regular ol’ tea (with more snakes)
*Snakes (with spiders)
*We’re remodeling
*Make up your own damn specials
*Chaitea
*Chaicoffee
*Gincoffee
*Noogies!
*Double Chocolate Mocha
*We hit you with the broom
*We hit your stupid friend with the broom
*Mass-brooming!
*Quadruple Espresso Monstrosity
*Carnivorous Plant Latte
*<DICK>< Cookies!
*Coffee with a scone in it
*Scone with a cookie in it
*Your ass with a hamster in it
*Waiting in line
*Crankiness
*Beatings
*Spicy Mocha
*Spicy Latte
*Turkey Bomb
*Nothin’ yet!
*Spraypaint latte
*Jerky mocha
*Free punch from our new employee!
*2 for 1 espresso
*Free SPAM? w/ purchase
*Lemons
*Think about dogs
*Think about dongs
*Think about dugouts
*Mocha w/a battery in it
*Pile of screws
*Lasers!
*Cat hair latte
*Espresso w/ pipe tabacco
*Bucket o’ fish
*A single coffee bean, lovingly pounded into your forehead
*“Team Samosa” – Virgin Mimosa
*F.I.S.T. full of coffee 
*Dill Mocha
*Hemp latte
*Dennis Kucinich
#Oreo Latte
#Caramel Mocha
#Wikipedia Vandalism Espresso
#Chocolate Americano
#We Pinch you and Put It on Youtube
*The Specials are Cancelled
*Until we get some fucking tips, people!
*Metallica Mocha
*Megadeth Milkshake
*Mastodon Muffins
*You give us money, we give you coffee
*Lolcat latte
*WE FIRE A HARPOON
*INTO YOUR FACE
*Chupacabralatte
*Bigfoot 22-oz espresso
*Yeti cannolli
== 1000s ==
*Hang on hang on dang it
*Portal Muffin Cube
*Half-Latte: Episode I
*Team Fortress Frappe
*Muffin Shaped Like Laura Bush
*Muffin Shaped Like Rachel Ray
*Muffin Shaped Like a Dog Fighting a Crow
*Hurrrrrrr
*Bacon Muffin
*Bacon Espresso
*Bacon Latte (vegan)
*Space muffin
*A tic tac toe puzzle
*OXO
*XXO
*XOX 
*Pour a 40 for Gygax
*Cup o’ Peas
*Cup o’ bees
*Cup o’ pee
*NO GUM ALLOWED IN CoD ANYMORE
*Mocha w/ a hair in it
*Latte w/ apple core
*Scone of Bone
*Raccoon Scone
*Pidgeon Macchiatto
*Fleas
*Cat-hair latte
*Litterbox Brownie
*Daft Punk @ 200 dB
*Honey latte
*Nutty Mocha
*Cup o’ Bees
*EROTIC TOAST
*🧀
*Faux-coroa
*Pseudo-latte
*Metacrino
–
*Were pretty good, for a ska band
*We murder your pet and burn your house down
*$3.95
*.coffee {class:organic;
*variety:ethiopian;
*flavor: #hazelnut;}
*Abominable latte
*Yellow snow chai
*Hypothermia
*Fuck
*You
*Peppermint latte
*Aniseed mocha
*Ferret muffins
*Fresh!
*½ price bagels
*2x price muffins
*Bacon latte
*Concrete latte
*Steel ?
*Unionization
*Brownies
*POOP
*LOL
*Habanero scones
*Chorizo latte
*Robo Latte
*Machinesspresso
*Crush
*Whale-flavored latte
*ambergris tea
*BLOOD + THUNDER
*chococaramocha
*megalatte
*farts
*Moose Latte
*Moose Mocha
*Trampling
*Murlock Mocha
*Cthulhu Chai
*Eldritch Muffins
*Free Children
*(ask around back)
*Sex Pony Mocha — a reference to a nickname Faye gave to Dora.
*Humpy Sound Latte
*Butts LOL. See also: Butts disease.
*Cinammon latte
*blueberry scone
*no small talk, please
*Death Metal Latte
–
*yerba mate latte
*flamed orange peel mocha
*BLOOD TREE MOCHA
*Nothing yet, hold yer fuckin' horses
*FRESH
*FUCKIN'
*BAGELS
*Banana Mocha
*Banana Brownies
*Banana Bread
*We got way too many bananas
*Yak butter in everything!
*? new employee: $1
*Spank new employee: $20,000
*NOTHING TODAY,
*JERKS
*none today.
*fuck off.
*? sausage latte
*granola mocha
*crunchy chai
*cayenne mocha
*tequila latte (w/worm)
*cactus up the butt
*?
*?
*? pie?
== 2000s ==
*bone marrow scones
*bone marrow latte
*BONE MARROW
*BLOOD LATTE
*SCAB MOCHA
*BONE AMERICANO
*HOT DOG MUFFIN
*Bone Meal
*Marrow Mocha
*Rawhide ?
*Butts LOL
*I bet you wanna get all up in TAI’S business
 (guest strip)
*FREE enema
* ∧   ∧
* o   o
*  ⏖
*ASK ME HOW TO DRAW A KITTY!
 (guest comic)
*SPATHE HAM
*FISH HEADS
*UNSHELLED WALNUT MUFFINS
*A KICK IN THE SHIN
*Ghost Pepper Mocha
*Buffalo Scones
*Really shitty granola
*Deconstructed Latte
*Postmodern Mocha
*“Honey” “Buns”
*go back to bed
*Say hello to our new employee, Dale!  :-)
*Punch the new guy: $1
*? $50
*you are very special
*Have a drink prepared by unpaid child labor
*Kale ?
*Kale Mocha
*Kale ?
 (guest comic)
*Pumpkin spice pumpkin
*K-cup Mocha Latte
== 3000s ==
*Sausage Latte
*Beef scone
*blood muffin
*Blood Latte *fair trade, organic blood*
*Chorizo Scone *also has blood in it*
*iced blood
* Special tea du jour:
* Hot Assam
* ass us for a sample!
* Buttercream cappuccino
* derriére you to try it!
== Trivia ==
* Dora and Faye discuss specials in .
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