Me & My Alpha Baka

Me & My Alpha Baka is a beautifully written fan fiction by TheWoman, which goes in depth on the relationship between the alpha (RoxyVelma) and his asexual partner (Kelloggs). It resulted in world wide success, winning numerous literary awards and steam achievements. The film adaptation won 4 academy awards including: best director, best actor, best supporting actor and best editing, truly earning it's place as one of the fan factions of all time. The release date of the fan fiction also shared that of Elyag's birthday, with him proclaiming "it is honestly the best thing i could have received for my birthday". The legendary Big Man Tyrone even narrated an extract of the story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6Bo8iMAib0. 
The fan fiction is technically the precursor to what would become the Crap LOM, an over-the-top parody of much of the LOM group in general. 
The Story
My head ached quite profoundly. I seemed to feel every bump of the train throbbing in my mind, tickling my anal cavity. My brain was filled with thoughts of asexuality, so to soothe my vast intellect I put some airpods in and listened to what I hoped would be my escape. "Numbah nine, numnah nine, numbah nine, numbah nine" John lennon's sweet husky tones and artful genius made me feel at ease and I slipped into deep sleep. When I awoke, I came to the horrific realisation that my head had fallen onto a gigantic shoulder. I looked up at the testosterone filled male with awe and reverence. "~B-baka?" He smiled at me. Then he bellowed; "If the conductor wasn't in the train car right now, I'd be all over you" Everyone looked at us and immediately got immensely horny, but i didn't because I'm asexual. 
Eventually we got into the country of London, and omg black people are here. This made me very angry but I was with my big alpha male baka, so I tolerated them for now. Though I did make sure to memorise their exact locations so I could stick my middle finger up at them (I'm a rebel don't cross me, I was born in October and I have 2 wolves inside and one of them is held back only by society, if I released the wolf the devil would shiver). As we strolled, I heard an ethereal voice, like that of the Lord, proudly exclaim his claim of over 30 cocks in the bum bum. On the way to our hotel (named the Apollo, famous for hosting masters of rizz) the alpha male began to speak of his sexual experiences. "I'm so glad I'm the first in our group to have sex" I was glad for him, in fact my heart was overjoyed and I desperately wanted him to tell me much, much more and go into incredible amounts of detail about this victory over his inferior inner circle. Luckily, he did! I instantly turned gay. Upon our arrival at the Apollo, the receptionist informed us that she's sorry, but there had been a mix up and we must share a bed. The alpha immediately made a comment about the differences between the sexes in bowling games, making him insanely more attractive. I blushed and said "tee hee!~" and shitted and came my pants. 
We climbed the stairs to our room, and it turns out some stupid femoid had been waiting for us for over half an hour hidden in a wardrobe. I discussed with her for 7 hours the effect that smoking cigars has on testosterone levels, and of my love for Andrew tate. She hadn't said a word the whole time; she knew her place as a quiet and obedient female, and I thought to myself I must show her constant dr who memes from 2011 should I see her again. I asked her then if I could perhaps get it on with the alpha male in her house's spare room, to which point she silently dragged herself out of the door. In this time, my love had face planted himself in the middle of the bed, dominating it. I wish he would pin me to it. I reveled in the way his face was planted somehow on the pillows at both sides, and how he still had his shoes on. I gazed lovingly at the muddy marks they left on the bedding. He began to recall how he fingered a girl at a party, and this made me so horny for him. I badly wanted my bussy to be fingered by him whilst we listened to Beatles songs sung only by Ringo and BTS. He drifted into sleep, exhausted from being such a sex god. I was so horny that I couldn't get a wink of sleep, so I watched him with an unblinking stare until he awoke. Gently waking, and noticing me staring, he bit his lip and raised his eyebrows, asking me sexily what I would do if he broke into my house. He then sneezed all over all the pillows. At this I could simply not contain my desire; I mounted him and brought my mouth to his. Our teeth clashed many times, he thrust his tongue into my mouth and wiggled it, making sure to spend a good 20 minutes licking each one of my teeth. He really knows what he's doing as he read multiple r/askreddit threads about sexy sex. We exited our room, still licking each other's teeth with eyes wide open whilst walking all the way down to the reception. A trollingly handsome young man came from his room, uttering "errrr that's gayyy" as we passed him in the corridor, but it only turned me on more. Still flicking our tongues at each other at lightning speed, we walked into the busy reception where even more people became immediately aroused just by looking at us. I saw the femoid from my room before sat on a chair in the corner crying. Whilst still kissing my alpha, I googled dr who funny meme and found a hilarious impact font meme that read "THAT FACE YOU MAKE WHEN YOUR WIFE IS YOUR FRIEND'S DAUGHTER". I thus chortled for some time into the mouth of my baka. We shuffled towards the femoid, and I shoved my phone in her face despite the fact that she was clearly otherwise occupied. She asked me to leave her alone and I angrily explained (in between licking my baka's teeth) that I had become more PC and I got a widow play of the game, and she should therefore recognise me as a supreme gentleman. Still right next to her and multiple families and people trying to check in, I asked my alpha to call me a good girl. He obliged, and my bum bum hole immediately dilated wide enough for his gigantic throbbing cock on command. He laid down on the carpet stiffly and awkwardly, his legs looking like those of will Burrows. I wished Burrows was here now to lube us up with his saliva, watching us and doing the helicopter dick. Oh, my little chode ached for him. I got on top, leaning above him, my tighty whitey undie wundies with a special brown streak sticking out and showing my ass crack. Everyone must see us having sex - it would be debased and cringepilled to go back to our room. My alpha entered his full length with no preparation. I was already plenty lubed up as i don't wipe or clean my asshole properly (that would make me a beta). As he did this, he whispered sensually in my ear "i got all 8s and 9s at GCSE". I then loudly exclaimed "ooooh ma gaaawd". A strange man stood above us throwing gang signs; I can only imagine he thought we were so sexy and the sexy sex was so great. After 2 pumps, my alpha screamed "Lois, I'm coming". Mr Hardwick and Mr Jones were there, having sex on Jones' furry cloak. They both looked at me fondly and said "we're proud of you, son" at the same time. After they had all finished furiously masturbating, everyone clapped.
I take it up the bum! I take it up the buuum!