New Kid on the Block/Quotes

:Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my case against The Never-Ending Story!
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:Moe: Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone.
:Barney: What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? [looks around the bar] Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray! [starts drinking beer out of the ashtray] Ah.
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:Homer: Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and… um… Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman.
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:Lionel Hutz: Homer, I don't use the word 'hero' very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history.
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:Bart: I'll show them who's 'just a kid!'
:Marge: Bart, bedtime! I laid out your jammy-jams!
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:Ruth Powers: I actually had some doubts about moving to Springfield, especially after that TIME cover story, 'America's Worst City.'
:Marge: You could see our house in that photo!
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:Lawyer: Your Honor, I'd like to show the court just how much shrimp Mr. Simpson ate. Bring it in, boys!
:Aide: Eighteen thousand letters, all addressed to Santa Claus.
:Lawyer: You want the People of Springfield versus Kris Kringle. That's next door.
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:Homer: There was something else...something I was supposed to tiptoe around.
:Ruth Powers: My divorce.
:Homer: That's it! Woo-hoo! I'm glad one of us remembered. That could've been embarrassing.
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:Bart: Hey, sometimes a guy just likes his skin to look its yellowest.
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:Homer: Marge, we're going to that restaurant.
:Marge: But I think I'm allergic to seafood. The last time I ate shrimp, my throat closed up, and I went into convulsions.
:Homer: Mmm... shrimp...
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:[Bart and Lisa are trespassing in the Powers' basement]
:Bart: This is where the Warfields hide their mutated son.
:Lisa: Bart! The Winfields didn't have a son.
:Bart: See that sock over there. It was his only friend.
:[Bart picks up sock and talks with it on his hand]
:Bart: Hello, Lisa. Here in the dark you won't need those eyes. Let me have them.
:Lisa: Bart! That's not funny.
:Bart:There are some who say the monster is still..
:[Bart flips his eyelids]
:Bart: Here!
:[Lisa screams and runs in terror while Bart laughs']
:Unknown voice: [to Bart] Friend...friend...
:[Laura grabs Bart by the shoulders]
:[Bart yells and faints]
:Laura Powers: Hey, kid, wake up.
:Bart: Who are you?
:Laura Powers: I'm Laura, your new neighbor. You all right?
:[Bart is surprised not to see a monster, but an attractive teenage girl]
:Bart's Brain: She's beautiful. Say something clever.
:Bart: I fell on my bottom.
:Bart's Brain: D'oh!
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:Bart: I no longer control the hand... The hand controls me!
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:Homer: [shouting at Bart and Lisa] Shut up, you little monsters!
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:Homer: [finding a babysitter, calmly] I was wondering if you'd like to babysit my little angels.
:Woman: Sorry, this isn't Abby; this is her sister. I look after her now.
:Abigail: [rocking, but otherwise motionless in her rocking chair] No, Bart. Put it down, Bart. Bart, put it down.
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:Waiter: I'm sorry, ma'am, but everything on the menu has fish in it.
:Marge: Mmm, what about the bread? Does that have much fish in it?
:Waiter: Yes.
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:Homer: This is my quest. I'm like that guy. That Spanish guy. You know, he fought the windmill...
:Marge: Don Quixote?
:Homer: No, that's not it. What's-his-name, the Man of La Mancha.
:Marge: Don Quixote.
:Homer: No!
:Marge: I really think that was the character's name. Don Quixote.
:Homer: Fine! I'll look it up! [heads off and consults a reference]
:Marge: Well, who was it?
:Homer: Never mind.
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:Bart: [about Jimbo Jones] How can you like that guy?
:Laura: I dunno. Maybe because he's an outlaw. You know that dead body they found behind the mayor's house?
:Bart: Jimbo killed him?
:Laura: No. But he poked him with a stick.
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:[Back at the Frying Dutchman at closing time]
:Sea Captain: 'Tis no man 'tis a remorseless eatin' machine. Aaargh. Six bells time for closing.
:Homer: Can't talk. Eating.
:Sea Captain: Fairly warned beaty, says I. [Sea Captain clicks his fingers and Homer is escorted out of the restaurant screaming].
:Homer: But the sign says all you can eat.
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:Lisa: Good luck in your trumped-up lawsuit, Dad.
:Homer: [hugs her] Thanks. That means a lot to me.
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:Bart: [about Jimbo Jones] What do you like about him? He's just a good-looking rebel who plays by his own rules.
:Lisa and Laura: [sigh wistfully]
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:Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, what did you and your husband do after you were ejected from the restaurant?
:Marge: We pretty much went straight home.
:Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, you're under oath.
:Marge: We drove around until 3:00 AM looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant.
:Lionel Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?
:Marge: (crying) We went fishing!
:Lionel Hutz: Did these sound like the actions of a man who had "all he could eat"?
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:Moe: Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
:Barney: Maybe your standards are too high! (barflies laughs)
:Moe: (to Bart) You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!
:Bart: My name is Jimbo Jones and I live at 1 094 Evergreen Terrace.
:Moe: A-HA! Big mistake pal!! I knew he'd slip up sooner or later. (Pulls out a very dangerous knife) Ah, yes. Rusty and Dull. (Leaps out to the front door of his bar.) (To Barney:) Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone. 
:Barney: What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? (gasps) Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray. (Drinks the beer from the ashtray)
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:Bart: As usual, a knife-wielding maniac has shown us the way.
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:Barney: [after drinking too much beer] Uh oh, my heart just stopped..... oh, there it goes.
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:Laura: [on the phone] Hello, I'd like to speak to Ms. Tinkle? First name...
:Bart: [whispers]
:Laura: Ivana?
:Moe: [on the phone] Ivana Tinkle, just a sec. [calls] Ivana Tinkle! Ivana Tinkle! Hey, everybody, put down your glasses. Ivana Tinkle!
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:Grampa: Bart, oh you remembered my birthday?
:Bart: Huh? Oh, I sure did! Here's a bus schedule.
:Grampa: Wow, fits right in my pocket.
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:Moe: (to a crying Jimbo) Ah, geez, I wasn't gonna kill ya, I was just gonna cut ya. 
es:New Kid on the Block/Frases