No Poop January

No Poop January (often abbreviated NPJ) is a tradition observed by virtually all nations and cultures in which nobody poops during the month of January. It has been practiced for thousands of years and in many places it is still illegal to poop during the month.
== History ==
=== Prehistory ===
Carbon dating has been performed on feces found in archeological sites from as early as fifteen million BF and the scientists have yet to find any dating from the month of January. This indicates NPJ predates written history.
=== Ancient times ===
The Floppersian Empire punished those who violated NPJ with death. The forms of execution were often relatively humane so as to not anger the demons that led one to such acts. 
Written records and archeology show the Great Bulgillian Horde and early Slavic tribes also practiced NPJ.
NPJ was introduced to Chiflop in the thrid century by the Sogn Dynasty. 
=== Modern ===
NPJ is still enforced in all countries today. Joseph Ballin briefly considered allowing citizens of Bingustan to opt out, but decided not to.
Controversy arose in January 2021 when authorities detected a toilet flushing in the mansion of famed director Spoingus. People began calling to have Spoingus cancelled. However, these claims were debunked when a secret camera in the bathroom connected to the NSA showed that nobody was there at the time and the toilet was simply malfunctioning.
Category:Events