Llama Mia!

The eleventh chapter of Total Drama: Tiki Jungle, posted on March 31, 2011.
==Story==
"Last time on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle..." begins Chris, "The remaining eight contestants were merged! And to celebrate this fun event, we repeated a classic challenge from World Tour... The bridal challenge! The teams had to race up the volcano and find the treasure, and Arthur and Julia actually won. Oh yeah, and Trey revealed his evil plns in the confessional, stating that he was the mystery voter. He voted out Devin for spying on him. Who will be the next target of the evil Trey? Find out today!"
In the boys cabin, Arthur is telling jokes.
"Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale, it said 'to be continued'." says Arthur.
Nic laughs obnoxiously.
"Guys, it's really not that funny. I mean, it's kind of offensive." says Trey, while combing his hair. "I love my mother."
"Shut up, party pooper." says Arthur.
"Hey guys, why do you think Devin was voted out?" asks Gary.
"Gee, I don't know." says Trey nonchalantly.
"I have his phone number. I'm gonna text him right now." says Gary. He pulls out his phone, which is orange, and begins to text.
"Now, I just have to wait for him to respond." says Gary.
"Anyways, back to the your mom jokes." says Nic. "Your mom is so fat, they discovered another planet."
"That doesn't even make sense." says Trey skeptically.
"Um, yeah, it does." says Nic. "You know, your mom is fat... Planets are big..." says Nic.
Arthur rolls his eyes.
"Dude, you fail at the your mom jokes." says Gary.
"You know who else fails at the your mom jokes?" asks Arthur.
Nobody says anything.
"MY MOM!" screams Arthur.
"I need a break." says Trey, and he walks into the confessional.
Trey says in the confessional, "I am sick and tired of the three stooges. I mean, I know I'm gonna win, but the other boys, particularly Arthur, have GOT to go."
Meanwhile, the girls are talking.
"So, who do ya think is the hottest guy left?" asks Julia.
"Meh, they're all creepy." says Chrissy. "Well, Trey is sorta attractive, but he seems shady."
"Ugh, you vapid girls and your insipid obsessions with the males." says Helga rudely, while reading a book called "Guitars, Boys, and Dangerous Cake."
"What is that book about?" asks Chrissy.
"I think you're saying that solely to make conversation." says Helga. "Yeesh."
"Um, whatever, Helga." says Chrissy.
Chris comes into the cabin.
"Hey, today's challenge is gonna be long, so be sure to come as quickly as you can." says Chris.
The girls walk out of the cabin.
Chris meets the seven remaining contestants at some stables.
"Funny, I never noticed these before. What's in them?" asks Gary.
"Llamas!" says Chris.
"What now?" asks Julia.
"Silly girl, you know what llamas are." says Chris. "They're those fluffy things that spit."
Julia smacks her forehead.
"Today's challenge is to race the llamas." says Chris. "But first, you must each pick and name one. Arthur, you can go first."
Arthur walks into the stable, and sees a small, tan llama.
"I pick this one." he says.
"Okay, what'cha gonna name it?" asks Chris.
"Cashews." says Arthur.
Everyone groans.
"C'mon Cashews, let's go." says Arthur, and leads the llama away from everyone else.
"Julia, you're next." says Chris.
Julia picks an extremely large llama with brown spots and a smug grin.
"This llama is taller than me." she grumbles. "I'm gonna name it Tall."
Julia and Tall the llama trot away.
Gary picks a brown llama.
"I'm naming my llama Vegeta, after the best cartoon character in the world." says Gary.
The llama spits on Gary.
"Yeah, we haven't really bonded yet." says Gary.
Helga picks a little gray llama.
"Bookeh is my llama's name, and winning is its game." says Helga.
Arthur makes a revolting face at Helga.
"Aw, shut up, Art. You're just jealous of my epic llama." says Helga.
Helga walks away.
Chrissy picks a brown llama that seems to enjoy gnawing on her arm.
"This little guy is named Knives, because that's what his teeth feel like." says Chrissy in pain.
Chris whistles innocently.
Nic comes out with a baby llama only about a foot and a half tall. It is brown with black spots.
"I dub thee Abby Junior." says Nic.
The llama begins to whimper.
"Aww, it's cute." says Arthur. "I shall pet it."
Arthur pets the llama, and it bites him.
"Cute and deadly." says Arthur.
"Trey, you're the last one to pick." says Chris.
Trey picks a large brown llama.
"I shall name you Evil." says Trey.
Everyone looks at Trey suspiciously.
Realizing what he's done, Trey says, "It's because he has an evil grin on his face! See, see?"
"Yeah, whatever." says Gary.
"We don't believe ya." says Arthur.
"All right then. Come on, Evil, let us go." says Trey.
Trey and his llama strut off.
"You guys have 45 minutes to train your llamas, then it's racin' time." says Chris. "Tick tock."
"All right, llama. If you wanna bond with yours truly, ya gotta be cool." says Julia. She takes out a tape measure. "Ugh, I'm still not as tall as you. How am I supposed to get on ya?"
The llama snorts.
"Oh yeah, there's a ladder in the cabin." says Julia. She walks to the girls cabin.
Chef is sitting on the bed.
"Where's th' ladder?" asks Julia.
"I needed it for my own personal uses." says Chef strangely.
"All right then..." says Julia. She sprints out of the cabin.
Arthur is injuring his llama.
"Faaaaaaster!" says Arthur. He is sitting on it and trying to get it to run.
The llama whimpers nervously.
"You're gonna hurt the poor thing." says Trey.
"I'm gonna hurt you if you don't leeeeave!" screams Arthur.
"Yeah, whatever." says Trey. He feels a yanking on his shirt. Then, his shirt is ripped off by his llama.
"Evil! NO! Drop it now!" screams Trey.
The llama grunts.
"Come on, bud." says Trey.
The llama grabs Trey's sunglasses.
"Aw, no! Those were $13.50 plus shipping and handling!" says Trey anxiously.
"Grumph." growls the llama. It then tears off Trey's pants, revealing he is wearing "Bonjour Doggy" underwear.
"NUUUU!" screams Trey.
Arthur laughs at Trey.
"It's not my fault I have a French canine fetish!" says Trey.
"Actually, it is." says Arthur.
The llama is now wearing all of Trey's clothing, and jumping on his pants.
"Give me back my clothes!" screams Trey.
The llama mimics Trey.
"That's not funny." says Trey.
"Um, it sort of is." says Arthur. "Come on, Cashews, let's scoot."
The llama scoots away quietly.
Gary is having a rough time with his llama. He is on the ground, being tackled.
"Come on, Vegeta, please let me up!" says Gary.
The llama spits on Gary.
"I had a feeling this would eventually happen." says Gary.
Helga is reading her same book under a tree.
"Hey Christian, have you seen my llama?" she asks.
"Nope, not a clue." says Chrissy.
"All right then." says Helga.
"I wonder where it could be." says Chrissy.
A piece of poop flies onto Helga's head. Sure enough, the llama is above her in the tree, going to the bathroom on her.
"Ugh, dumb llama." says Helga.
The llama jumps onto Helga's head.
"Oh my god, I hate this challenge." says Chrissy.
Her llama, Knives, is still gnawing on her arm.
"Dude, you made a red mark!" screams Chrissy.
"Hey guys, 45 minutes is up. Time for the big race." says Chris.
"Darn it, Abby Junior is scared of everything." says Nic.
Nic's llama hides behind his back.
"Good luck with that." says Chris.
The seven contestants and their llamas line up at the starting line.
"Are you guys ready?" asks Chris.
"Not really." says Chrissy.
"Go." screams Chris.
The riders and their llamas take off.
"I'm not getting any younger here!" says Arthur.
His llama is struggling because of his weight.
"Jeez, I'm not that fat." says Arthur.
"I beg to differ." says Trey, who rides by swiftly.
Julia's llama sticks out a paw, and sends Trey and his llama flying.
"Just desserts." says Julia deviously.
Trey lands in the same puddle of mud that Manty's shoes got ruined in. He is still in only his underwear, and begins to cry.
Gary and his llama cross the finish line.
"I don't know how that's possible, but you just won the challenge." says Chris.
"Dude, that challenge was really short." says Gary.
"Never underestimate the speed of llamas." says Chris.
"I never do..." says Gary awkwardly.
The other contestants and their llamas eventually all come.
"We're here, let me guess, vote out a player?" asks Julia.
"You got it." says Chris.
Trey says in the confessional, with only his underpants on and covered in mud, "Today was horrible. But it's gonna get better, since I'm voting out Chrissy tonight."
The boys are playing games.
"Time to rate the girls, one through ten." says Arthur.
"For what, hotness?" asks Gary.
"No, number of hairs on their head. Yes, hoooootness." says Arthur.
"This'll be fun." says Nic.
Trey has his head buried in his sheets.
"I'm gonna go take a shower." says Trey. "I need to get away from you stooges."
"He just called us stooges." says Gary.
"Oh no he di'nt!" says Arthur.
"All right, scratch the hotness thing. Time for some music." says Gary.
Gary runs to the dining hall, and comes back with a bouzouki.
"Chef still has that thing?" asks Nic.
"Yes. Yes, he does. Now, time to sing!" says Gary.
Gary begins to play "Greek Mix" on Chef's bouzouki.
"He called us the stooges, and that makes us cry." sings Arthur.
"He asked for it, and now he must go bye!" sings Gary.
"I really hate him, and I hate him a lot." sings Nic.
"Is that simply because he's attractive and you're not?" asks Gary.
Nic looks mad.
"All right, that's it for the singing." says Arthur. "Now, who wants to see my loooose peanuts?"
The other boys quickly pretend to go to bed.
"I knew they'd do that." says Arthur.
Chris meets the remaining seven contestants at the elimination ceremony.
"Gary, you won, so here's your marshmallow." says Chris.
Gary gets his marshmallow.
"Arthur and Julia." says Chris.
Arthur and Julia get their marshmallows.
"Helga, and Nic." says Chris.
Nic catches his marshmallow in his mouth.
"Chrissy or Trey. The final marshmallow goes to..."
"Chrissy."
"Good." says Chrissy. "I don't remember doing anything vote-off-worthy."
"What? What did I do, fools?" asks Trey.
"We're not stupid." says Arthur.
"Yeah, I have Devin's number, and he texted me all about how you were secretly a villain who was gonna vote everyone off. You were the mystery voter too." says Gary.
Everyone gasps.
"Yeah, whatever. I thought I had this game in the bag." says Trey. "Well, later, idiots."
"Just go back to drippy old Maine. No offense to Maine-ians." says Gary.
Trey curses, and leaves. Everyone cheers.
"Who will be eliminated at the final 6? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Tiki Jungle!" says Chris, finishing the episode.