Event 1

PDF file of Event1"It is not the sun rising, but our sins."
-Anonymous
from Blasphemous (first line decyphered from base64)
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I slowly open my glued-shut eyes to a picture of a familiar ceiling.
I'm, yet again, in my apartment.
This God forsaken apartment.
I've spent more time in here, enclosed by these walls, than time that I've been alive.
I let out a strained breath and prepare myself to get out of my greatest place of sorrow.
Turning to the left side of the bed, putting down one foot after the other, first the right foot and then the left one.
I put both of my hands on my knees and then I push.
These days I have to push so hard.
Why do I even bother getting out of bed anymore?
Getting up from the bed I feel a pretty much instant headache get over my whole head.
 (SAM) "Ugh.
Fuck."
Sometimes I wonder what went wrong in my life.
What did I do to deserve such a life?
I don't have it bad, don't get me wrong, but someone has to be wishing misfortune upon me.
After getting up I remember that I'm still plugged into the Dreamulator.
This comes to my attention in the way of a wire tensing up after I walk a couple of meters from my bed.
I walk back to my bed, right next to my nightstand to put down the headset of the Dreamulator.
Last night was pretty fun but I ended up sleeping like shit because of it.
One of these days this thing is going to fucking kill me, I know it.
Speaking of...
What time even is it?
I check the digital clock on the nightstand and it proudly says that it's 13:04.
In his smugness, a bit of sadness rises up in me.
Whatever the clock meant, I do not know.
I'll go about my "morning routine" then.
Not that there's much of a morning left.
I spent the next hour or so preparing for the greatest task of the day.
Showering.
Brushing my teeth.
Doing my skincare.
And doing my hair.
I put on a pair of shorts and my favorite hoodie, and I decide to head out.
As my apartment door shuts behind me I can feel a hole forming in my stomach.
I'm scared.
Even if we're a whole lot of time past mid-day there are still so many people around on the 89th floor.
Why so?
Every time I leave my abode I ask myself the same question over and over and then I just end up going in circles and not finding an answer for it.
I ponder so much about it that I even forget what the original question was about.
I shake my head furiously.
This was not the time to fuck around with my internal head shenanigans.
I have but one simple task for today.
And it is retrieving the next few weeks of rations.
A daunting task.
One that requires my utmost care, precision and attention.
Right in front of my apartment's door, there is a large walkway.
Adorned with a balcony.
So that I can peer down the endless void that stretches down to the 50th floor.
Was it the 50th?
I think so.
Either way, after staring down the abyss I decide to take a left turn and head for the ration dispenser that's on this floor.
I walk along the walkway.
Trash littering it.
Every kind of it too.
Plastic bottles.
Pieces of carton boxes.
Blankets.
No bums, however.
Everyone must be at the ration dispenser.
Or doing bum things, I dunno.
After walking past the trash I have to take a left turn again.
Heading right would have me going towards a flight of stairs and an elevator.
Fortunately for me, I don't have to leave the comfort of the 89th floor just yet, so I'll take a left turn like I'm supposed to.
Taking a left turn the state of the walkway doesn't change by much.
Trash is still littering the whole of it.
As I keep walking I feel someone's cold, laser focused eyes on my back.
It sends a shiver down my spine.
I turn around.
But there's no one there.
I feel my heartbeat quickening and my breath struggling to keep on.
With these recent events in mind, I decide to step it up and to take these rations home hastily.
After some more walking, I arrive at the ration dispenser.
Except...
There's no one there?
What's going on here?
Where is everyone?
I decide to quickly bury the slurry of thoughts coming my way by getting on with the task at hand.
After inputting the credentials on the dispenser itself, it buzzes and hums as it gets my rations ready.
While it is doing so I decide to look around.
A bit of anxiety from before is still lingering in my stomach.
And after checking my surroundings multiple times I see it.
There IS someone staring at me.
With cold eyes.
He looks just like anyone else on this floor.
Be it a resident or a bum.
For some reason, I can't decide which of the two categories this man falls in.
He notices me staring at him and lets out a small smirk from his small lips.
Why did he just do that?
What does he want from me?
Is he out for me?
Is he gonna get me?
Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
I turn my head back around to the ration dispenser.
It is still humming as it's getting the rations from deep within its system.
Fuck fuck.
Hurry up stupid fucking machine.
After cursing it for a while longer it finally opens up its retrieval port with my rations inside.
I snatch the rations as soon as the little slot opens up.
He's still staring at me.
Why is he staring at me?
Stop it you fucking lunatic.
I look at him just a bit more when suddenly my legs decide it was time to go.
I don't even have the time to look back at him one last time.
Before I know it I'm back inside my apartment.
Gasping for air.
My knees give up on me.
I'm still holding onto the rations, clutching them, close to my chest.
I keep doing so for a bit and after I finally manage to call down.
 (SAM)(sighs) "Shit."
After struggling with my thoughts for a bit I finally manage to get up from the floor.
I walk to my living room table where I set the rations down.
For some reason, it occurs to me only now that dust has built up quite badly on it.
The table, the chairs, and everything had a thin layer of dust on it.
No matter.
I set down the weighty bag on the table.
As I do so I catch a glimpse of what the city looked like today.
Boring as it ever is.
At least it isn't snowing or raining today.
It's just cloudy.
I'm so glad that huge High Ocean Corporation billboard isn't lighting up my living room right now.
At night I can literally afford to not turn the lights on because that fucking thing is so bright.
Ah well.
What should I do today?
Ooo I have that gameshow to watch tonight!
As I start to walk back to my room something strange happens.
I notice a strange buzzing going on in my right ear.
I can't quite tell how much it has been there, but I can't not be aware of it now.
It's getting louder by the second.
Ah, what the fuck?
I don't remember installing a faulty cochlear implant.
I heard that those early Aeterna ones were quite wacky and not very good but...
How is this happening?
Suddenly my legs also start playing tricks on me.
They feel weaker and weaker and soon enough I fall to the ground.
I struggle to breathe.
The buzzing in my ear gets even louder.
F-Fuck.
I black out completely.
I don't even have time to process everything.
I slowly open my glued shut eyes to a picture of a familiar ceiling.
I'm, yet again, in my apartment.
This God forsaken apartment.
I've spent more time in here, enclosed by these walls, than time that I've been alive.
I let out a strained breath and prepare myself to get out of my greatest place of sorrow.
Turning around to the left side of the bed, putting down one foot after the other, first the right foot and then the left one.
Wait hold on.
This...
This feels oddly familiar.
Wait.....
What the fuck?
Didn't I think the same exact stuff yesterday?
Huh?
The rest of my morning goes along same as it did the day before with only one small issue going on.
A mind numbing headache that has engulfed every centimeter of my head.
I look for some painkillers in the medicine cabinet, and fortunately enough I find some.
The bottle is almost empty but there was still a couple left.
I take some and pray that my headache goes away in a timely fashion.
But it doesn't.
In fact, it only gets stronger.
Seeing this I decide to look for my specific medical case on the Web.
I spend around half an hour not finding anything.
This increases my worry a lot.
But not to fret little head of mine!
I can still sleep through it with a fantastic power nap!
I'll sleep on the couch.
I've had enough of the bed anyway.
After what feels like an eternity I finally wake up.
Not on my couch.
But in my bed.
With a raging headache.
What the FUCK is going on.
Shit fuck shit.
I sprint over to my computer to check for anything related to my case.
Do I have cancer?
Am I about to die?
Here?
All alone?
Fuck fuck fuck.
The pit in my stomach swells up ever more.
Each breath I take is shorter than the previous one.
And my heart won't stop thumping.
I feel tears starting to form up in my eyes.
 (SAM)(tearing up) "Heh...
Haha.
Hahahahah."
The pit swells up even more.
Aahh..
Soon enough the whole weight of the world will fall upon me.
And my meek shoulders will do no good in holding it up.
Oh well...
I find myself in my bed again.
All of my fears gone.
All of my tears wiped away.
All of my anxiety replaced with a wave of eerie calmness.
How did this happen?
Did I do this?
Before I can finish my thought it somehow disappears completely from my incoherent stream of thoughts.
Like a fisherman pulled it out of the oceans with his trusty fishing rod.
I don't know what it means.
But I'm glad it's over.