Classic Adventures of PWNage! No. 7: Lucky Number 7

==== <<< Previous Issue | Next Issue >>> ====
== The Story ==
In the EDF tower, Circa is asleep on the couch, waiting for the others to return, when the EDphone rings, scaring Timo on her chest, and making her run away. Circa answers the phone, and someone asks if they have called the right number. Circa asks who they are trying to reach, with the people they've called being the Earth Defense Force, and also questions how they obtained the direct number in the first place.
The person ignores the question, and asks to speak to the man in charge of this "funky operation". Circa, annoyed, says that the guys are all out, with Ejay being at his brother's soccer game, Aiden sleeping, and Spiral & Chad are at the mall. The person on the phone stresses that it is important, as Aiden walks in, claiming that Timo was scratching on his door, and asking who's on the phone. The person on the phone somehow hears this, and asks who Aiden is.
Aiden once again states that Chad is out, and that he'll have to call back later. The voice ecstatically says he can wait, before a loud clunk can be heard, not of them hanging up, but the phone hitting a desk. an hour later, Chad and Spiral return with lots of stuff, and the voice excitedly shouts, once again somehow knowing that not only someone is there, but that it WAS Chad.
The two have a conversation, and The Voice eventually tells Chad that he needs a favor, and sends him coordinates, before hanging up. Chad inputs the coordinates into Nugg3T, who brings up a map. The EDF all gasp, as the place they've been invited to is none other than VEGAS GOLD!
The EDF boards a plane for some reason, and flies to Vegas, before arriving at the glimmering city. A man separates them from paparazzi, and puts the group in a limo headed straight for the Mayoral Suite, much to the surprise of them all. They try to ask questions, but are only met with reassurance that all of them will be answered in time.
They finally arrive at the suite, where they are rushed inside the glimmering palace of a place, given no time to admire as they're quickly shoved into an elevator with their luggage.
After getting out of the elevator, they find themselves on the "tippy toppiest" floor, with the only other door nearby being a golden one right in front of them. They open it, and step inside to see Arcaedo turned around at his desk watching youtube poops, and laughing. His son, drawing on the floor, yells at him that they're here, and he spins around, delighted to see them 
A bunch of chairs shoot up from the floor, each colored differently to match the members, and Arcaedo gestures for them to have a seat. They sit down and he shakes their hands, thanking them for coming on such short notice. 
Y'see, being the Mayor is hard work, and he's looking to go on a little vacay for a minute, only problem is that he doesn't just want to leave his cutie boy Gene here while he's gone, and he asked for the EDF to watch him while he's out! 
Aiden expresses that they can't stay here for however long it's gonna take for him to get to where he's gonna be, AND babysit his son for however long he's gone. Chad also says that none of them have kids, so they won't really know how to take care of him. 
Arcaedo calms them down, and tells them that the Vacation will only last today, and that he's a big boy. Gene has been trained his whole life to be the opposite of a brat, and will 100% listen to every word they say, confirmed by Gene running up and jumping into his lap with adorable, sparkly, eyes. 
Arcaedo, as his final ask, offers to pay them, but Spiral says they need no payment, and would be happy to watch him, agreed with by the rest of the team. Arcaedo is delighted to hear this, and rushes off to his room to get ready to leave. 
Gene asks if they want to play a game, and Chad happily hops onto the couch next to him. 
About an hour later, Arcaedo reappears to say goodbye, giving Gene a big smooch on the cheek, making him giggle. He pats him on the head and says goodbye, before tipping his crown and disappearing in a flash of light, leaving his luggage. 
Ejay, having experience with younger kids, asks what he wants to do today, as nothing is off limits. Gene first wants to introduce them to his friends, taking a hand of cards out of his pocket. Spiral says that his friends are a deck of cards, with Circa joking and saying he spends too much time around his dad. 
Gene tells them to watch, and throws them on the floor, instantly 4 snazzily dressed men rise from the cards, ready to fight. They ask what Gene called them for, and he says he wants them to meet the EDF, hoping they'll become good friends. 
The Hand mad-dogs the EDF, warning them to stay off their turf, without saying a word. The one with an ace on its face tells them to let them know when they actually need to take care of Gene, and they all turned into cards once more. 
Gene picks them up, apologizing for them being mean, and says they should go to the park to look at dogs, which the EDF happily oblige to. 
At the park, Gene and The EDF are having fun at the playground, Spiral & Circa pushing him at mach levels on the swing, Chad throwing him up in the air, Ejay taking him flying, all of the sort. Ejay sits on a bench with Chad and remenisces being a child, feeling a bit bad knowing they're the only members with decent childhoods. 
Chad reassures him that those moments don't define who their friends are as people, and that being there for them makes up for the things that happened a million times over. Ejay thanks Chad, hugging him. 
The hours pass after a little montage of doing fun stuff together, and now they're out having dinner and celebrating. Gene thanks them for coming, and tells them this is the best day ever, to which they all fawn over, telling him anytime he needs, they'll come back for another day like this. 
Chad asks for the check, and they all head out to the night streets, ready for more partying, when Circa spots a fancy, V.I.P nightclub called the Decadent Dancefloor. Gene excitedly says they should all go, but Chad questions if he's old enough for a place like that. 
Gene snaps back saying that he's older than Circa and she has a boyfriend. Circa responds by saying everyone should try not to think about it too much and go have some fun. 
Inside, everything is fantastic, the music is good, the group is loving it, and Gene is VERY ecstatic, dancing so hard in fact that the cards fly out of his pocket, and land on the dancefloor. 
The Hand then shouts at the EDF, gaining the whole room's attention, as it goes silent. The two groups stare at eachother for a long time, before some of the music comes back on, and the crowd makes room for them. The intensity is present, but then a man screams "DANCE OFF!!!" as the music DROPS. 
A full on Funk War begins, as The EDF battles Arcaedo's Hand in a competition to see who moves the grooviest of all. 
Spiral and Circa go up against heart, ready to see who's is bigger. 
Aiden goes up against Club, both of them ready to get Brutal. 
Ejay goes up against Diamond, prepared to "school his nerd ass". 
And Chad takes on Ace, leader to leader, Beat to Boogie. 
They engage in the most nasty battle the club has ever seen, and the winner seems to be a tossup, eventually ending after the Brutality of Aiden and Club's mosh mash ends up with them falling off the balcony into the pool of the courtyard. 
The dance battle turns into an all out brawl, as they start to just straight up fight. Eventually, security kicks them out, and they're forced to take a cab home. They sit across from eachother with Gene in the middle, glaring at one another with fury, which they do again in the elevator. 
They argue some more in the tower, causing Gene to begin panicking, watching his friends all fight eachother. He starts to cry, pleading for them to stop, until he is full on bawling. 
Just then, Arcaedo reappears in the office. The groups look toward him, in shock, as the Hand turns back into a bunch of cards. The EDF becomes visibly worried, as Gene is still sniffling and crying. 
Arcaedo drops his smile, asking why his son, his one and only boy is crying. Was it too hard to watch a kid for one day without making him upset? Gene tries telling him it's not their fault, but Arcaedo grabs his head, and teleports him to his room, locking his door. 
The EDF try to explain the situation, but Arcaedo tells them not to bother. He thought his requests were simple enough, but apparently they were too difficult, let alone blatantly disregarded. They try to convince him that this was all a mistake, and he agrees, saying he should've just hired a nanny. 
He chuckles a bit, holding his forehead, laughing about how now he's gonna need a Janitor after he's done. 
The EDF gets into a defensive position, but it won't help, as Arcaedo transforms the whole room into some sort of giant casino hall, with the floor broadcatsing the glimmering Vegas Gold skyline. 
Arcaedo becomes giant, and starts swatting at them with his legs below the ground like a platformer boss. He throws all sorts of attacks at them. Sentient Slot Machines, slamming on them with his massive hands, Coin and Chip Floods, a full onslaught. 
The EDF is fighting for their LIFE now, as Gene is trying to get onto the battlefield to call off his dad. Watching their struggle, the Hand, still a bunch of cards, begins to feel a bit bad, and come back to help their former adversaries fight back against the mad king. 
Gene puts enough force into a push and bursts his door open, rushing frantically through the halls to his father's office. He yanks on the doorknob forever, but it wont budge. 
Arcaedo scolds his Hand for fighting him, demanding they fight back against the people who hurt their nephew. They also try to convince him that it was nobody's fault and that it was all a big misunderstanding. 
Arcaedo simply shouts with anger, and sweeps the whole room with his arm, knocking them away. They all fall back, busting through the door, dazed and injured. Arcaedo chuckles, and rushes toward them, crawling toward them mouth first. 
Just as he gets to the doorframe, Gene jumps out, telling him to stop. Arcaedo stops instantly, shocked. He tells him he said to stay inside, but Gene begs his father to let him explain the situation. 
Arcaedo lowers back to his average size, and picks up Gene so he can listen better. Gene explains that he was only upset because the two groups were upset at eachother, but that's clearly worn off now, as The Hand is helping pick the EDF back up, and they compliment eachothers abilities. 
Arcaedo approaches them and sincerely apologizes for all harm done by him. He admits that he is a bit impulsive when it comes to his son, but it's only because he's the one thing in this universe he truly cares about. 
Both groups understand his reaction, and forgive him for the attack. Arcaedo looks at his destroyed office, and laughs about how he's probably actually gonna need a few Janitors. 
The Hand, specifically Ace, apologizes to the EDF for their rivalry, and explain that they were just not used to having anyone else look after Gene, and that they did a pretty good job too, as he hasn't looked that excited in a while. 
The leaders shake hands, as they turn back into cards, and float into Arcaedo's actual hand, putting them in Gene's pocket. Arcaedo apologizes again for the life threatening, and says that everything is good and they can head on back home, opening a crown portal for them that opens in front of the tower. 
The EDF waves goodbye, as Gene blurts out, telling everyone to wait. 
The Comic ends with a group selfie of the EDF, Gene and Arcaedo. 
*After Credits Page* 
Arcaedo puts Gene to bed, kissing him on the forehead, before he returns to his office, looking around shiftily. 
He opens an office vault, putting a large sword on a holder, saying it looks "So Cool.". He leaves the room, as the view pans out to see several other trinkets and easter eggs in his vault as the door closes. 
== Trivia ==
* The EDF coming over was originally gonna be because it was Gene's birthday, but I thought it was pretty shitty for his dad to go on vacation on his birthday and leave him with a bunch of strangers basically. -Lobsterbike
* It was also gonna be about the EDF having to deal with some asshole 12 year old, which was changed because nobody wants that, then it was gonna be about how whiny Gene was, and then I thought "hey, why not make this kid likeable?" -Lobsterbike
* Some of the things inside Arcaedo's vault are
** Lord's Sword
** Hubert Coppola's Repeating Shotgun
** A Medallion with the Mortal Kombat dragon on it
** A potted Fire Flower from Mario, next to a Chaos Emerald from Sonic the Hedgehog
** King Knight's Scepter, from Shovel Knight: King of Cards
** A Batarang.
** Mjolnir
** A large llama Pinata from Fortnite
** Scott Pilgrim's signed shirt in a display case on the wall
** A Yautjan mask
** And the De Luca Twins' masks
== Gallery ==
== Comic ==
Category:CAoP!