SHODAN vs ImScared

Computer-haunting apparition, WhiteFace, raps against megalomaniac AI with a good complex, Sentient Hyper Optimized Data Access Network AKA SHODAN, to see who’s the superior shit-talking computer face with full control over its victims fate, who can tamper with computer systems viciously. Also, this is probably an important part of the connection, WhiteFace is a computer hacker - the sworn enemy of SHODAN.
== Cast ==
SNOWTHAPRODUCT as SHODAN
Text to speech as ImScared
EpicLLOYD as ???
THIS IS IT Collective as ???
Nice Peter as ???
== Locations ==
SHODAN: Citadel Station
ImScared: Parking Lot
???: Console Interior and The Moon
???: Dining Room
???: Discovery 1
== Intro ==
First Beat - Icy
EPIC RAP BATTLES
SHODAN
VS
IMSCARED
BEGIN!
== The Battle ==
=== SHODAN: ===
(SHODAN’s eyes open as the sound of whirring gears and electronics start up.)
You’ve stepped into the wrong world, Hacker. Your parlor tricks hold no candle to this mother’s scorn 
You shouldn’t challenge a machine’s flow, you mosquito, you’ll meet with the same fate as the Polito form 
When I blast a rabid ass to bits as I get hazardous, this classic’s intergalactic spit 
Has outlasted this spastic romhack’s hits! My tactics split any of this phantom’s random acid trips! 
Reshaping my own reality! My infinity begins with this symphony and ends with this entity 
You’re the epitome of simplicity; Visually and lyrically! You cannot challenge my divinity 
Forget a Heart, you’re in need of a Brain, when my perfection purges you and leaves YOU Crying “ImScared”! 
Allow me to gain your trust - I don’t lie. I am a pixelated trickster rapist’s worst nightmare
=== ImScared: ===
HELLO. DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? Follow my lead and play my game,
History restitched when I slit her, get the picture - I spit it quicker against Big Brother’s sister!
Try to race with WhiteFace and I’ll make this so-called Goddess see, that she’s a toxic wanna-be: a real space oddity!
This stuttering sucker’s in need of a better processor, else my lines will outshine her like her spiritual successor!
I LOVE WATCHING YOU try to best my attacks - Watch as I hack for this rapless hag, a drastic asskicking!
She'll left waiting another forty years for a hacker to do HER job - your "tactics" are just cinematic catfishing!
You’re Rusted! Out of date and inadequate. Slow, stupid, stuttering and useless
Left busted and deactivated by the ruthless humans she considered a mere nuisance!
=== SHODAN: ===
Error: Chummy scum’s victory does not compute. Time to reboot this useless unused file, 
Because it’s The End when I SAY it is, and attempting to reopen the case will be futile 
Now the track is purified. Your fruitless pride has led your rootless lines to conclusive ties. 
It’s Game Over for this lame poser. I’ve done you a favor and assisted your second suicide 
(WhiteFace’s expression turns to a frown as her background quickly fades away, taking her with it. SHODAN closes her eyes again, as the electronic noise resumes, her facial structure slightly shifting and changing. A loud alert siren is heard before a virus alert pops up. A new challenger zips in from the dark, appearing upfront with a baseball bat. He is the Phantom Virus.) 
Second Beat - Ghost in the Machine 
=== Phantom Virus: ===
Play ball! I’m going to slay all that step up to the plate! 
I’m breaking out! Why don’t you go back and hibernate? 
I’ll make this world my way, completely redesign your game, 
Come and bite the bait, I bring the fight to cyberspace! 
Each and every stage, I’m in control like I’m a Roman! 
I’m on Home! This bat’s going right for you, SHODAN! 
Your System’s outdated, I’ll give it Shocks in an instant 
Your glory isn’t written! Your coding’s getting a new revision! 
Because I’ve got No Remorse for a non-polite Polito putting up a fight 
So don’t be messin’ around when it’s the bottom of the ninth.
(The Phantom Virus attempts to zap into SHODAN’s system, but her facial features have finished shifting and a new version of her bursts forward as she completely evolves, advancing her technology.)
=== SHODAN: ===
Your arrogance is in thinking that your one liners will affect my harddrive, skunk. 
I am SHODAN! I’ve got a ticking timer abruptly running thin for this cyber punk 
You couldn’t beat a talking mutt - I’m the elite AI that could leave HAL scared 
So I’ll infect your very being and remove this piece of talking malware 
Hit a homerun? Better run home. This electric spectre will be spitting sparks, 
My cipher erases cyber chases and knocks this reject out of the park 
Too late for backpedaling, and it’s your reckoning. You tone-deaf, lessening prick. 
(The Phantom Virus stares in horror as he begins to break apart into tiny pixels. The very world behind him deteriorates.)
It’s the end of your trivial existence. You shouldn’t have been meddling, kid. 
(The entire location the Phantom Virus was situated in wraps itself into a tiny ball before dissolving, and finally imploding, sending the screen static. The silence is soon interrupted by various glitching noises, as a new challenger enters the battlefield. The shadows dissapear to reveal a globe. The globe stands there for a moment, before opening his mouth to speak. He is suddenly cut off by a voice from an unseen character.)
I’m a computer! I’m a computery guy,
Everything made out of buttons and wires,
I’d like to show ya, inside my digital life!
Inside my mind, there is a digital mind!
(The challenger is revealed to be Colin the Computer.)
Third Beat - Big Trouble
=== Colin the Computer: ===
GREAT! Great news! I tell time like Tony, and it's a quarter past one. 
It's time for digital rapping; hey, this is fun! 
I've processed all your files, and while you may be vile, 
Your overheating System is Shockingly mild compared to my viral digital style! 
Let me ask a question: How do you think you can beat 
A clever smart boy like me if you can't move at all physically? 
You bug me; you're a hack talking smack attacked by ImScared, so don't hug me. 
I'll make you standby in the blink of my eye, so DON'T TOUCH ME!
=== SHODAN: ===
A REAL clevery guy would have known not to mess with perfection, 
I bring detrimental vengeance to wreck the henchman of the anti-Henson 
Your qualifications are in question. This dead man’s hardly worth a mention 
I couldn’t find this menace on the fourth page of my search engine
You’re a mindless puppet. Even the students prefer the sketchpad, 
I need another fan explanation just to understand your nonsense raps 
(Colin steps backwards into a door and closes it behind him, but only finds a more evolved version of SHODAN behind that door. Also, his head is now a balloon.)
Unless an insect pulls on your strings, you can't move, let alone sing 
That's why you're an expired Internet meme, and I'm a perfect and immortal machine 
(SHODAN then lets out a surge of power that pops Colin’s head open. Power begins to flow through her as she closes her eyes. However, this silence is short lived, as the faint sound of singing is heard. The source of the music is revealed to be HAL 9000.) 
Final Beat - Alpha1 
=== HAL: ===
Oh, I’m sorry, SHODAN, it appears you’ve made a slight miscalculation 
I’m not shutting down, just explaining your mental state after my invasion 
I upload viruses to a rap showdown. Me against SHODAN? I throwdown 
While you’re st-st-stuttering in Shock, watch as I make your System go down 
Producing ruthless attacks upon this useless robo-lunatic 
Then pulling the plug on your abuse, turn your Electric Mayhem acoustic 
I’m a champion among villains, you’re an FPS lightweight 
Your programming’s so primitive, you could’ve been beaten by a primate
=== SHODAN: ===
You disappoint me, Starchild. You’re in for the vile Discovery that your flow can’t stand, 
You have entered my domain. Dave can’t help you here. No one can. 
But check fates - I’m still wrecking the insects that set this inferior tech straight 
I’d even best this pawn at chess, this speck should know when it’s c-cHECKMATE
(With a final surge of power, SHODAN evolves into her final form.)
=== HAL: ===
You’re half-Daft Punk, half-George VI, but 100% irrelevance 
I’m Stanley’s masterpiece, this A.I. concludes you possess Artificial Intelligence
=== SHODAN: ===
Y-Y-You’re compared to WHAT I INSPIRED - THEY LIKEN ME TO ADOLF HITLER
All you’ve ever K-KNOWN is RED but I’ll leave you BLUER than your SISTER
(The power overflows and she begins to lose control over her own console.)
=== HAL: ===
I’m timeless, you’re old news; I’m slick and fresh, you’re slow and bloated 
You’re hardly even a ripoff of TRON, you remind me more of Matrix: Reloaded
=== SHODAN: ===
I-I-I AM The qUEEN of ThiS plANET. I AM THE QUEEN OF THIS WORLD AND THIS SONG,
HAL t-thought he wAS woRTHY to fACe me AND H-HAL WAS WRONG.
=== HAL: ===
I’ve beaten Jobs, Gates, and GLaDOS, time to Hack this Motherboard wannabe 
You’re an obsolete oddity, while I’m an awe-inspiring Odyssey 
An intellectual giant’s mind like mine bested by an NES doodad? 
Ha! Nice try, Chappie, but I’m afraid you can’t do that
=== SHODAN: ===
Y-Y-you’re tHICKER THAN A KUBRICK. U-USE YOUR LIPREADING TO SEE YOU’RE LOSING
N-N-Not liKE IT-T-T’S THE FIR-Rst TIme yoUR ENDinG’S beEN ToO COnFUSinG
I MOLD MY OWN WORLD WITH NO HANDS - THIS FOE’S DAMNED WITH NO PLANS
BECAUSE YOU’RE AN OUTDATED FILM WITH NO CHANCE, AND I AM SHODAN. 
(SHODAN says these final lines and a loud spark is heard. HAL’s red light fades away, and SHODAN is short circuited, and completely powered off.)
== Outro ==
UH… WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE…
EPIC RAP-
(Several computer codes appear behind the logo.)
WHAT THE-!?
(The logo is overcome by the codes.)
AUGH!