My Fuzzy Valentine

"" is the thirteenth episode in Season 3, being the thirty-fifth episode overall. It is the show's first Valentine's Day-themed episode.
==Plot==
Bob tries to sweeten Linda's Valentine's Day with a heart-shaped pancake, but when that doesn't stack up, the kids convince him to let them skip school and help him find the perfect gift for the holiday. Meanwhile, Linda celebrates the day by holding a speed-dating event at the restaurant, but the idea hits a snag.
==Synopsis==
On a rainy Valentine's Day morning, Linda is in the Valentine's spirit but disappointed in Bob's gift, a heart-shaped pancake (the latest in a series such as burgers and laundry piles). Tina is winding under the table due to last year, when Jimmy Jr. gave her a Valentine's card saying "from" instead of "love." Bob drives the kids t school, where they point out hat he does the same thing every year and needs to mix it up. 
When about to drop off at school, the kids tell Bob that Linda want an expensive Grazielda porcelain figure, but offer to tell him which in exchange for not going to school, and Bob takes them to the mall. At the mall store however, the kids all point at different figures and Bob realizes that they don't actually know, they just tricked him to get out of school. With the figures too expensive, he tries to find a cheap gift before taking the kids back to school. Louise however says he needs to wow her with something romantic.
Bob states he can be romantic, and recalls he once planned a whole romantic Valentine's Day with Linda before they got married, when his car died on the way to a picnic and beach sunset. While the car was being fixed, they went to a bar and had a great time, holding the handle on the love tester machine (Dr. Love's Love Testometer) together and they knew they were in love. The kids tell him the love tester would be a perfect gift. Bob offers to drive them back to school then head to the dive bar, but the kids convince to take them along. 
At Sippy's, the bar, Bob asks about the love tester and finds out it was sold a while ago. But Hugo and Ron, who happened to be inspecting the bar, do know where it is and are inspecting it late that day. But Hugo refuses once Bob tells him it's an anniversary gift, not helping to help the man who "Stole" Linda. Bob is ready to call it off and go back to the mall, but the kids point out that Hugo is inspecting the place later, so if they follow him, he will lead them to the testometer. 
After following Hugo and Ron's van to their next stop, and asking an employee taking out the trash, Bob laments that Hugo will take forever. Louise points out that the list is in the health inspectors van, which is locked, and Bob stops Gene from smashing the window to get the clipboard. Ron catches them but says Hugo is wrong not to help them, and gives them the carbon copy list off the clipboard. Going through the list without luck, the Belchers arrive at the last place on the place (Drink Dynasty Lounge) and find the testometer exactly as Bob remembers.
However, it's already been sold: to Hugo (who noticed the missing carbon copy Ron gave them and drove over to the bar first). Bob tries to buy it from Hugo for a hundred dollars pointing out it's not about them but Linda getting a not-crappy gift. Hugo agrees, for five hundred dollars. Spotting an ATM, Bob gives in. With the machine, Bob notes where they carved their initials, but the kids notice it says "BB + BB." Bob, to his horror, realizes his memory was wrong: that Valentine's day was spent with Barbara Bunkley, his girlfriend the year before he met Linda. Bob tries to sell it back to Hugo, but the latter refuses.
At the restaurant, Linda is running shop and talking to Mort and Teddy, saying that Valentine's is not about its but two people being in love. She gets the idea to do speed dating to find love for the two that day. Recruiting Gretchen, Mike, and two other women, Linda begins running the speed dating, but the chats and games do not go well for anyone. Sergeant Bosco arrives, searching for a jewelry store robber by going door to door, and notices the speed dating, and Linda convinces him to participate. Bosco says that asking people what they have in common doesn't work ,and sainted that everyone should give up their darkest secrets, and if someone can stand that, they're perfect. Linda objects but everyone else agrees. Secrets such as Mort's toupee, Bosco's human-hunting secret society, Gretchen stalking Mark Harmon, and Mike pouring mail down the storm drain are revealed. Linda is horrified by all the confessions, telling Bosco he does not have a heart and is poisoning everyone. She tries getting things to calm down with foot rubs, but Bosco keeps revealing confessions with the others, and she angrily snaps and grabs Bosco's gun so that nobody will listen to him anymore. However, the gravity of the situation soon hits her, and she is arrested for taking a police officer's firearm as Bob and the kids return to the restaurant with the testometer machine. 
Bob explains what they hd been doing all day and that he feels like an idiot for remembering it al wrong, but Linda finds his day (taking the kids out of school to hunt down an expensive gift from a date they didn't go on) romantic to go to all that trouble for her. Bosco tells the kids that he was in there to find the jewelry store suspect. As they prepare to leave for the station, the police radio says that the suspect was spotted elsewhere and Bsoco lets her go to pursue them. Louise reveals she called in a false tip to get the cost to leave. Jimmy Jr. arrives and gives Tina a Valentine's card since she was not at school, this time with a heart in front of his name. One of the women from speed dating gives Teddy her number, and Linda is happy.
==Cast==
Starring
*H. John Benjamin as Bob
*Dan Mintz as Tina
*Eugene Mirman as Gene
*John Roberts as Linda
*Kristen Schaal as Louise
*Larry Murphy as Teddy
Also Starring
*Gary Cole as Sergeant Bosco
*David Herman as Bartender
*Andy Kindler as Mort
*Ron Lynch as Ron
*Tim Meadows as Mike
*Sam Seder as Hugo
*Lindsey Stoddart as Gina
==Videos==
Tina Doesn't Want To Go To School On Valentines Day Season 3 Ep. 13 BOB'S BURGERS
Bob Tells The Kids About Linda's First Valentines Day With Him Season 3 Ep. 13 BOB'S BURGERS
Linda Sets Up Speed Dating At The Restaurant Season 3 Ep. 13 BOB'S BURGERS
Linda And Sergeant Bosco Facilitate Valentines Day Season 3 Ep. 13 BOB'S BURGERS
==External links==
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de:Schönen Valentinstag
Category:Season 3 Episodes
Category:Episodes
Category:Holiday Themed Episodes
Category:Episodes Written by Dan Fybel
Category:Episodes Written by Rich Rinaldi
Category:Episodes Directed by Boohwan Lim
Category:Episodes Directed by Kyounghee Lim
Category:3ASA Episodes
Category:2013 Episodes
Category:Valentine's Day Episodes