Pam

"Because, Rebecca... I'm straight-up evil."
== Appearance ==
Pamela, or "Pam", is a bright pink hot dog with honey-toned buns and a smile mimicking Rebecca's. She has blue eyes and a small dribble of a questionable mustard-like substance near her crotch region, like the other hot dogs. She always has her brown hair in a ponytail with a purple bow. The only thing separating Pam and Rebecca physically is that Pam has a goatee and straight eyebrows, as well as her hair being slightly more red-toned.
== Biography ==
Pam is a very nuanced, formerly-evil witch. She is a bold hot dog who is not afraid to express herself and does not care what others think.
=== Early Life ===
When Pam turned eight, she, like all other hot dogs, was told the Hot Dog Prophecy, telling the story of the hot dog who would partake in and survive a crab joust and then fall into a volcano and become the G.U.P. (Gauntlet of Ultimate Power). She was assumed to be raised with her twin sister, Rebecca.
Much else of her childhood is unknown.
=== Adulthood ===
Pam impersonated Rebecca for a short time, while driving in a car with Dan, who was unaware that she was not his wife. After crashing the car (due to Dan's poor driving), the car exploded and caught on fire, igniting Dan along with it. Pam shot Dan in the head while he was on fire, and left him there after being pursued by police. It is assumed that this attack was not to kill Dan, but to simply weaken him. She was aware of his recovery, and followed Dan in his pursuit of Rebecca to the island. As a cover-up for her secret service to the Dark Master, Pam claimed that her attack on Rebecca and Dan was fueled by jealousy and love of Dan. She challenged Dan to a crab joust in order to determine whether he was the hot dog in the Hot Dog Prophecy.
When she was defeated by Future Brandon's anti-curse, she was carried off by Murry and Gina and sent to be eaten by the Raccoon. However, she was saved from the Raccoon when Baby Brandon possessed it. Baby Brandon joined her in her service to the Dark Master, on the condition that they would kill the hot dog family. The two met with the Dark Master and, although admitting to initial defeat, informed him that Dan was the hot dog from the Hot Dog Prophecy, and that they would lead him to the volcano by way of incepting ideas into Gene's brain.
Pam and Baby Brandon, who was still possessing the Raccoon, interrupted the wedding and revealed to the Wedding Guests that the wedding venue was a witch hologram, and that it was actually a rickety bridge above the prophesied Hawaiian volcano. She also revealed that all of the Wedding Guests, except for Dan, Rebecca, Future Brandon, Mike Soup, Gene, and the Sausage Priest, were her own witch holograms. While explaining the prophecy and why she was doing this, Maizey interrupted her and had the Sausage Priest marry Maizey and Gebra, even though they were holograms. Maizey also had the Risky Fixin's play a song, "Relish Life," which touched Pam's heart. However, Pam, although made emotional by the song, ordered Baby Brandon to pull the lever off of the bridge, and killed all of the Wedding Guests, except for Gene, Maizey, and Mike Soup. Pam and Baby Brandon were aware that Gene, Maizey, and Mike Soup survived.
After murdering the Wedding Guests, the two met with the Dark Master, where they informed him of the events. While Baby Brandon told the Master that Maizey and Gene had survived, he failed to tell him that Mike Soup had done so as well until after the Dark Master had summoned the Gauntlet of Ultimate Power, or, G.U.P. The Dark Master was infuriated by this news, and subsequently killed Pam by combustion.
Pam awoke in The White Void, unaware that she was killed by the Dark Master. There, she met Papa Crab, who confirmed that she was dead. Although unwilling to tell Papa Crab her story at first, he encouraged her to do so, which led to the realization that the Dark Master had betrayed her, leaving her shocked and heartbroken. While heartbroken, she reflected on her past, saying, "You know, I was so consumed with hate and anger that I lost sight of who I was. Where I came from. The things I loved".
Papa Crab advised her that if she was truly "so torn up about what [she] did to [her] fellow hotdogs", she could "just get back in the game as a ghost". He then summoned the Spirit Gate with the previously-used anti-curse, "crabra-cadabra", and told her of the Spirit Gate's rules: that in order to return to the mortal world, she was to state her intention and desired spirit form. Pam swore to do good upon returning to the mortal world as a ghost. However, the Spirit Gate was revealed to take figurative language literally when Pam declared that "it's time for a little Pam", and she returned as a small ghost, rather than her previous full size.
When Pam returned to the mortal world, she first found Maizey on planet Tomat-0, who was in her Plupple Cell. However, Maizey angrily demanded an apology from Pam's previous behavior. Maizey shamed Pam for creating her as a hologram without knowing it, letting Maizey "know love", putting fake memories into her brain, and killing her holographic wife Gebra. Maizey ended her rant by asking why Pam was little. Before Pam could explain, the two heard Joblet approaching the cell, interrupting the conversation, and Pam remarked that the environment suddenly smelled like magic. She then fled from Joblet, who had not known of her presence, with her newly minted catchphrase: "Pam, Pam, ka-zam."
Pam ended up Apparating to Tomat-0's jungle forest and searching for Gene and Mike Soup. She came upon their sleeping bodies, but was under the impression that they had died, as the broken pieces of the Starship Minestrone lay near them. She expressed remorse for their deaths, and revealed through a soliloquy that the United States government had engraved some of the Risky Fixin's lyrics onto the face of the Moon, and, more importantly, that Mike Soup was the Soup Baron, which he had previously lied about.
Pam was then surprised by the appearance of Garce in the jungle forest, who had just discovered her. Startled, she threatened to "do some messed up ghost witch stuff to [him] that would make puke, puke", and Garce attempted to defuse the situation by offering Pam a million Plupple Bucks, to which she refused. Pam then accused Garce of killing Gene and Mike Soup on the orders of a superior, assuming he was one of the inferior Plupples. He clarified that Gene and Mike Soup were sleeping, but Pam did not believe him, and ranted to him about her exploits as a hot dog witch as an attempt to intimidate him, and threatened to possess him. However, her attempt to possess Garce was unsuccessful, and she was trapped inside of him. Garce explained that the "only thing deep inside [him] to possess is a pit", but later reversed the statement, stating that Plupples didn't have pits and told Pam to "enjoy her stay" (foreshadowing the subsequent reveal that Garce was a peach). Pam was then trapped inside of Garce's shell-like body.
During the Pasta Parade, Pam, still trapped inside Garce, was on the J.V.I.P Feel-Good Float along with Joblet, Smeech, Doctor Goondis, Gene, Mike Soup, and Maizey. Before the Dark Master appeared, Mike Soup mentioned that he smelled chili. The Dark Master then interrupted the Parade by taking a bite out of the O-Nion Space Station, killing many of the guests, including Weldon Burgereaux. Before dying, Burgereaux warned the group to run. While the group panicked, Goondis shot the group with the Light, influencing their minds relax and think rationally. However, after being shot with the Light, Garce claimed he felt sick. Joblet suggested Goondis shoot him once more, to heal him, but Goondis refused, saying Garce "[looked] ripe". Garce, then realizing he was possessed by Pam, stated he believed he was going to die, and proceeded to "pop like a balloon." Pam, now free of her prison, proceeded to appear and then scold the group for "frying [their] brains on that pink junk," meaning the group's current addiction to the Serenity Light. Furious and horrified at the death of his son, Joblet swore revenge on Pam. Pam, however, killed Joblet as well. She then explained to the rest of the group that she had appeared to help, and that they needed to "get [their] heads in the game." Maizey agreed, and with that, the group vowed to defeat the Dark Master once and for all.
The group, having very little time, scrambled to make a plan, first wanting to strangle the Dark Master with the pasta they had from their float, but ultimately settled on using the Serenity Light to shrink the bad energy. Before they could fully charge up the Serenity Light in order to use it at its full potential, the Dark Master appeared and killed Smeech. Pam volunteered herself to deal with the Dark Master to buy the group more time, and attempted to kill the Dark Master with a witch blast. The Dark Master held the witch blast in midair, then deflected it at Gene, who was seriously injured. Immediately after, the Serenity Light reached one hundred on its charging power, and Doctor Goondis shot it at the Dark Master, who was shrunk down to his normal size and temporarily incapacitated. After the gang checked in with Gene, the Dark Master called out for Mike Soup, who recognized his voice and identified him as Space-Pope Chili IX. Doctor Goondis urged the rest of the group to grab the Bernoulli Converter off of the Persica and run while they still had a chance, finishing his request with the assurance that he and Mike would stay behind to fight the Pope.
Gene, Maizey, and Pam boarded the Minestrone with the Converter and prepared to make the jump to hyperspace, coming to the conclusion that they had to leave Doctor Goondis and Mike Soup behind, despite Maizey expressing a desire to wait for them. As the ship prepared to jump, Gene indicated he was getting worse, saying he was "getting a little soggy over [there]". Maizey, scared, asked Pam to try and heal him with her witch magic. Pam complied, but ended up injuring Gene even more through her witch blasts. Gene tried to reassure Maizey, but concluded his own death was imminent. Before he passed away, he sung "Believe Me Maizey," in a final epic ballad encouraging she and Pam to continue on without him, where the O-Nion Station exploded in the background. Gene died seeing Smeech, and soon after, the ship jumped into hyperdrive and initiated the jump to the Graxilon Quadrant.
== Notes ==
* Pam is one of the few characters to appear in all five seasons of the show. The other being Gene.
* Pam's witch magic allows her to make things sparkle.
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Category:Characters