The Soul of the Damnation

"The Soul of the Damnation" is the ninth episode of Season 3 of Life in Bikini Bottom, and the 38th overall.
==Characters==
TBA
==Synopsis==
It's Election Day in Bikini Bottom, and both of the US Presidential candidates are eagerly hoping for a Biden victory. But when a wave of Trump supporters storm the voting booths, it's up to both of them to convince Sheldon Bastard to reconsider his endorsement. Meanwhile, SpongeCock and the rest of the SpongeCockians attempt to illegally cast votes in the election.
==Plot==
Text appears on the bottom right of the screen, saying “Election Day - Krusty Kock,” and a stand with Ronnie Snickersnee, wearing a mask, is set in front. “Good morning, folks, and welcome to the live broadcast of the 2020 US-Bikini Bottom presidential election. For the last several months, supporters all across the political spectrum have debated the ultimate question - which candidate sucks less cock? Current incumbent and Republican nominee Donald Trump, or Democratic challenger and former Vice President Joe Biden? To which we answer - uh… I don’t know, let’s just see how our voters decide.” 
The camera zooms out to show that this is a TV in Biden and Trump’s lair, to which they are both sitting on a couch with a thing of popcorn in hand. “Oh boy, today is either gonna be the day I frig off for unlimited golf and broads or I kill myself.” “Are you sure you don’t want to be my vice president?” Biden asks. “Like I said, frig off for unlimited golf and broads. That’s basically what vice president means. I mean, you would know, wouldn’t you?” “Nah, to be honest I was just there to help Obama with Saudi Arabia.” Pence then storms in behind them. “You’re both wrong, it’s when you get to electrocute people solely for their sexual orientation!” Biden and Trump both nod, as they turn back to the TV. “Also, why are you two still hanging out with each other all the time? I thought I told you-” “Look, Mike, for someone who claims to electrocute the gays, you seem to be on my dick all the time. Perhaps you want to electrocute them in a different fashion.” Biden chuckles as Pence gets pissed. “Are you implying that I’m a homophobe in name only?” “Yes.” Trump shoots back nonchalantly. Pence turns his back and walks away, clearly pissed at Trump. “Damn fool working with the radical leftist communist although he’s clearly not one and I’m just making him sound a lot more cooler than he actually is but since I’m a damn fool right winger I’m- I’m just gonna shut up,” Pence says, as he leaves the room.
We cut to SpongeCock’s pinyapple (still surrounded by the Bikini Bottom police), where he’s watching the broadcast with Kraps and Fatprick. “Pffft, damn fool Bikini Bottom with their war criminal candidates. Meanwhile we have me in SpongeCockia.” Kraps gives him a dirty look. “Hey, don’t disrespect Trump like that! He does wonders to my pockets.” “He also stunts the wealth of poor creatures like me, who are a prisoner of the system,” Fatprick interjects, to which Kraps nods his head. “Yeah. As he should. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go vote,” Kraps says, while getting up, before SpongeCock yanks him down. “Uh, Mr. Kraps, we’re not Bikini Bottomites, remember? We’re SpongeCockians,” he says. “So? This is simply the liberal fake news media engaging in election fraud!” “Sir, if you vote, YOU will be the one engaging in election fraud,” SpongeCock corrects him. “Just because it’s illegal doesn’t mean it’s wrong, I’m standing up to the system!” “That completely contradicts-” Kraps ignores him and starts to hightail out the door, as we hear a bunch of screams when he shuts the door. We see the other SpongeCockians cringe, and he comes back in the pinyapple covered in dust. “Welp. We’re gonna have to try harder.” 
“Hey, you know what?” SpongeCock says, while standing up. “Maybe we need to take a stand against this. I say we show no mercy and vote in their election! Yeah, that’ll show ‘em. Besides, you know what they say, every vote makes a difference.” Fatprick starts to laugh. “Dan’s lazy ass writing an election episode in February. It never gets old,” he says, as SpongeCock holds a deadpan expression. “Let’s just do this.”
Donald Trump: I’m going down to Bikini Bottom, gonna grab myself a pussy!
SpongeCock + Shitward: Fascism is everywhere, you don’t know what you got into!
Joe Biden: I’m going down to Bikini Bottom, gonna sniff myself some hair.
Fatprick: I was gonna take a shit, the government is tryna stop me!
Bernie Sanders: I’m going down to Bikini Bottom, let’s have Medicare for All!
Gory: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!
Mr. Kraps: They just took all of me money…
Sheldon Bastard: So come on down to Bikini Bottom, because you’ll be my slave here!
					THE ELECTION BEGINS
“3...2...1…” Ronnie counts down while eyeing down his watch, before an alarm sounds off and he unlocks the front doors to the Krusty Kock. “Folks, the polls have opened!” Ronnie then gets a stunned look on his face as he sees L’fuck the Lobster push him out of the way and bust through the doors. “Gotta get in, gotta get in, GOTTA BE THE FIRST TO VOTE!” He screams. “Sir! SIR! First you trespass the debate, and now you don’t wear a mask to vote!” L’fuck then walks out. “MAN, can’t trust those mail-in votes. The postal service is full of radical Marxists!” Ronnie then shoves a mask onto him, to which L’fuck reacts badly too. “Hey, stop infringing my rights, blasted buffoon!” “Anyway… Mr. Lobster, you were the first one to cast your ballot for the election. Would you mind filling us in on who you voted for?” “Well, Ronnie, everyone knows I was in heavy support of Trump. I thought he was getting the job done,” L’fuck explains, as we see Trump watching from the room. “Wait for it…” he says, as the TV cuts back. “...but it’s clear that Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is the way to go for boaters, anti-Middle Easterns, and pro-war douchebags like me. So he gets my vote!” Trump pats Biden on his back. “See? I knew it would work.”
We cut back to the election on the TV, as a crowd has formed to vote. We hear murmuring from the crowd, complaining that they’re too close to each other, before we see L’fuck in the back. “Hey, stop complaining, or go back to your safe spaces, will ya?” “Mr. Lobster, you already voted, what are you doing back in line?” Ronnie says, coming over to stop him. “I see, trying to suppress the voters looking for their voice being heard.” “Your voice WAS heard! You were on national TV, for christ's sake. SECURITY!” He yells, as Polfgecks652 rolls over and gets behind him. “VOTER FRAUD! VOTER FRAUD!” He repeats, snatching both of L’fuck’s arms. “Ow! My boating arm!” He complains. We cut back to Ronnie, who is standing with Mr. Renaud. “So, Mr. Renaud, who did you cast your ballot for?” Paul gets a wide grin on his face as he prepares to answer with his nasally voice. “Well, I was originally gonna vote for my buddy Trump after he pardoned me all those times. But when I heard about Biden sniffing those kids’ hairs, I knew it was time to hop on the Biden Band! Biden 2020, MAP rights are human rights!” “See? I told you you need to put your pedophilia on display for everyone to see,” Trump tells Biden. “Well I was gonna do that already, but I needed to hear that from an experienced pedophile to be sure!” Biden thanks Trump, as they look back at the report.
“Welp,” Ronnie starts up, “after 2 hours of the polls being open, we seem to have Biden winning in a landslide. It seems like people are so sure he was the best Democratic nominee, even though as the current president would say… WRONG!” “Hey, I don’t say wrong that much, do I?” Trump asks. “Of course not… I think,” Biden reassures him. “WAIT!” Ronnie yells from the TV, catching both candidates off guard. “What’s this…” We see him stepping out of his stand, only to be trampled by an oncoming crowd of Bikini Bottomites waving Trump 2020 flags. “TRUMP FOR THE WIN!” They start yelling, as Ronnie tries to get up from the ground. “Wh- huh?” One of the people in the crowd comes back to Ronnie, as they happily point out what’s happening. “Didn’t ya hear? Leader Bastard confirmed his endorsement of Trump! We have to vote for him, truly. If our precious leader wants him, then so should his minions! Hold up guys, wait up!” He yells, coming back to the crowd. After them, Polfgecks652 flies right in. “WOO YEAH! FRUIT-PHILES FOR TRUMP!” he screeches before rushing in. “WHAT THE! This is a kangaroo election, clearly fraud!” Trump swings his fist in protest. “Well, it looks like Trump’s down but not out, as his support is emerging close to that of Biden following an endorsement from Sheldon Bastard.” 
“How is this even possible?! I released the virus, I blamed him for it, even framed him for the genocide of starfish. How could he still want me in power?” Trump asks. Biden stands up to form an answer. “Maybe it’s all that cake. Oh boy, I’d slam you real hard from behind if I could!” “Not right now! Well… at least until you win. We need to get to the bottom of this, and make it real clear! This is a YYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE deal,” Trump stresses, as he grabs a gun and walks up the stairs.
				MEANWHILE, AT SPONGECOCKIA
We see SpongeCock peer out of the pinyapple, checking the area to see nothing in sight. “Alright, the coast is clear! Get a move on!” All three of them start to tiptoe out, and while at first they think they have a clear path, we see the military closing in from behind. “Freeze! You’re on Bikini Bottom property,” one of them says, while aiming a gun at them. SpongeCock, Fatprick, and Kraps all raise their arms up, but SpongeCock protests. “So? Bikini Bottom was founded on stolen land anyway.” “Do NOT bring up the Native Bikini Bottomites! We already stripped their voting rights anyway…” SpongeCock rolls his eyes as he goes back to criticizing them. “Just let us by. We should have a say too,” He complains, as Shattered Penis steps forward. He puts his finger up and waves him off in discouragement. “Y’all ain’t even Bikini Bottomites anymore. Y’all is some… uhh… how do you say it?” “SpongeCockians,” he says, “but considering how your government directly affects us, we should be able to-”
“No buts! The only buts I accept are Hentai.” This leads to everyone looking at him with a surprised expression, to which he scratches his head. “...I’ve said too much. But my point is, don’t you dare cross that line, or else you’re getting it!” He then struts off, leading the gang to shoot glances at each other. SpongeCock tries to step his foot over the line, but shots are fired at the ground, causing him to leap back away. “Nope. Not happening.” Shattered Penis says, as he begins to walk away.
“Well, we might have to resort to the extremes,” SpongeCock says. “Wait, extremes?” Fricky appears behind him. “I may have the answer for that. Guys, you’re about to see the power of a good ass mob.” Fricky then dials up his phone as it rings. “Mrs. Puss, we’re about to infiltrate democracy… or whatever it is in Bikini Bottom.”
				AT THE CUM BUCKET
The front lawn of the Cum Bucket is shown, with Trump peeking his head above a bush in the lawn. “Yeah, that’s right, I do sneaky ninja stuff now,” he says to the camera, as he moves from behind the bush and makes his way up to the steps up to the front door. He rings the bell, and then decided to hide behind a wall next to the door with a crowbar. “Donny, are you sure this is a good-” Biden asks from the law, to which Trump shushes him. “Never more sure. Quick, he’s coming soon!” We hear the sound of an electric mobility machine, as Bastard comes to the door in his portable throne. “Hello?” He asks, as he looks around to see who it was. “Hm. I guess it was no-” at that moment, Trump takes a swing at Bastard with the crowbar, but this causes him to be stuck on the throne with Bastard still in control of it. “What the?! Is that-” he backs up, dragging Trump across the floor of the Cum Bucket, until he finally drops him off in the middle. “Trump?! What are you doing here?” 
“Well, greetings Sheldon,” he greets. “I totally wasn’t trying to bash you over the head with this crowbar.” Bastard gives a sneer before hopping off of his throne and signalling Polfgecks over. “Trump, I think you’ll be happy to hear that I endorsed you. No way you can lose to that equal rights maniac Biden. You know I’m probably making him sound a lot cooler than he is…” “No, sir, I’m not happy,” Trump says, angry. “I don’t want to go back to that job for another four years! I stopped trying after the first week of my campaign,” Trump informs him. “I’ve been trying to tell you this since, like, The Joey and Donny show.” Bastard tries to think for a second as Polfgecks rolls over. 
“What’s the matter, Daddy Bastard? Did you find another batch of mangoes?” “No. I need you to get this FINO out of here,” Bastard orders him. Trump looks confused. “FINO? What the hell does that mean?” “Fascist in name only! If you were a real fascist, you’d be excited with my support! Escort him now, Sonny Gecks,” he says, while stepping back. Polfgecks picks up Trump, bringing him out. “Whew, Trump, you’ve got a lot of cake there, but I gotta do what the boss says.” He throws Trump out of the door, almost like he’s being launched. After making an overdramatic “AWWWWW” he falls flat on the ground. “Well… I don’t think he’s convinced,” Trump says, “yeah I can’t hear a lot of things, but I could hear how pathetic that was,” Biden assures him. “Well we need to get the message through to him! And believe me, i’m good at that.” “Then how did you win in 2016?” Biden asks. “Crooked Hillary,” he bluntly replies, as he hands Biden a gun. “Quick, time’s a wastin’!”
				IT’S SOMETHING SOMETHING TIME
Scene cuts to the Pinyapple, where SpongeCock appears to be coming out from his back garage. He scans the area, noticing that most of the guards are only in the front lawns. Dialing his walkie talkie, he puts it up to his mouth and says “The coast is clear. Let’s bounce!” Fatprick then comes falling out of the window, landing on and crushing SpongeCock. “I’m here!” “FATPRICK!” He yells. “You weren’t supposed to come out of the window!” “I thought we were sneaking out, though,” he says, as Kraps and Shitward come out of the garage. SpongeCock turns his walkie talkie back on and dials in Fricky. “Come in, Fricky. We’ve gotten everybody outside. What’s the plan now?” 
We cut to Fricky, who’s seen in Mr. Kraps’ office in the Krusty Kock on a laptop with an earpiece in. “Ten-four, dad. We’re gonna hack this election nice and well. Say, who are you voting for again?” SpongeCock ignores Fricky’s question. “Damn, I really don’t wanna be sounding like some truckers.” “Why not? I’m a proud Trump Trucker!” Kraps shouts from behind. “Nope. You’re a Trump Boater,” Shitward says, rolling his eyes. SpongeCock goes back to Fricky. “So… can we flee now? And wait, how the hell did you even get there?” Fricky gets a smirk on his face. “My Antifa gang.” “Woah jeez, didn’t have any space for us?” Fricky’s smirk quickly wipes off, as now he ignores it and turns off his walkie-talkie. “Alright, we better get going before I get  the vanilla, strawberry, AND chocolate ice cream cake shits! ESPECIALLY the chocolate,” Fatprick says as he starts to run off.
In the background, while Fatprick is sloshing around, the military in front start to hear him. “Hm… sounds like someone grossly overweight is on the move,” Shattered Penis says. L’fuck then appears on scene. “ARE YOU CALLING ME GROSSLY OVERWEIGHT??? THESE BIDEN MUSCLES DON’T LIKE, YOU KNOW!” L’fuck flexes as Shattered Penis rolls his eyes. “No, you idiot, I mean…” he looks behind with a pair of binoculars in hand, seeing the gang starting to flee SpongeCockia. “You know, Bastard probably should’ve invested in more military to surround the ENTIRE perimeter. But that’s just me,” he says. “Yeah, you would know, right? Maybe I need to call Tim to SHOOT YOU FOR GETTING PLEASURE FROM-” L’fuck realizes that the entire military is already on the move after SpongeCock. “Hey, wait up guys, I wanna do some shooting!” 
SpongeCock is leading the group around Bikini Bottom in a similar fashion to the chase scene in “Pfff… Welp,” which is referenced by Fatprick, all the way behind. “We keep getting ourselves into these situations, CLEARLY because you’re not feeding me enough ice cream cake.” “Uh, no, see how slow you are?” Shitward yells back, as Fatprick starts to break down and pant. “Hold… on… I…. need… break.” The camera zooms out to show that Fatprick is only a few feet outside of the SpongeCockia border, and the military is already about to catch up. “Oh come the fuck on! Fatprick, we don’t have-” But at that point, the guards have already batted him down, dragging him across the border. “Fatprick Star, you have been deported back to your terrorist state.” “HYPOCRITE!” He yells, before being knocked out. “Shit! We’re on our own!” SpongeCock, Shitward, and Kraps all start running away. The guards look up again, starting to run after them. 
In the distance, the Krusty Kock appears, as well as Snickersnee’s stand. “Yes! We’re almost there!” Snickersnee is seen flipping through notes. “Uh… slow couple hours,” he chuckles, as he soon has SpongeCock and the gang catch his attention. “Oh boy. This can’t be good.” Snickersnee flees from his stand, jumping for cover as he looks back to see them trampling it. SpongeCock pulls out his walkie talkie, dialing in Fricky. “Now. Oh wait…. I mean, NOW!” Fricky then nods, as he presses a button, causing the Antifa members to flood in and invade the Krusty Kock. Polfgecks is in there, but he gets stopped when one of the members sets fire to the floor. “HEY! STALIN’S DOG! DON’T MAKE ME DRESS YOU UP AS A TANGERINE!” He then gets knocked out, as SpongeCock and the gang successfully make it in. 
“Yes! We’re in! Now we can finally show this town what for!” SpongeCock says, as he takes out a ballot and starts to fill it out. We see Fricky walk out of the office, with Mr. Kraps immediately questioning him. “Say, you didn’t steal any money in there, did you?” “Eh. You owe me anyway,” he says, while turning to SpongeCock. “So, dad, now that I got you here, who are you voting for?” “It’s simple. Me.” Everyone’s eyes start to pop out of their socket. “Wait, you mean we staged this whole thing just so you could fill yourself in on the ballot?” “Yeah. Genius, isn’t it?” “You do realize no one else would vote for you, right?” Shitward and Kraps then get to work on their ballots, writing in Bernie and voting for Trump, respectively. “Yeah. But I’m the only motherfucker I trust,” SpongeCock says. “Oh brother,” Fricky rolls his eyes.
				MEANWHILE AT THE CUM BUCKET
We see Bastard on his throne, which is being polished by ComputerBitch 5000. “Oh yeah, keep it coming babe! I gotta feel real comfortable while watching the election results,” he says, while lounging back. “This is ridiculous! I’m your wife, not your servant,” she complains. “Yeah, well I’m your husband AND your superior. Deal with it, woman!” ComputerBitch groans as she continues to polish the seat.
“And it appears that Trump is running away with the election! He currently has 60% of the vote,” Ronnie says. “With only just a couple hours until the polls close, it’s very-” the broadcast gets stopped by the TV being shattered, causing it to malfunction. “Oh, come on!” Bastard says, jumping out of his throne. “I paid like 5 whole dollars for that from a prostitute! I needed to convince her to give me-” he stops himself after seeing ComputerBitch listening in on him, with her squinting her computer eyes at her. “Uh… heh. But why would it just spark out like that? We then see both Trump and Biden push themselves through a window, as they both fall and hit the floor hard. “Ow! My precious, precious genitalia!” They both shriek at the same time. 
“YOU!” Bastard says, while galloping over. “And why is HE here now!” He says, pointing at Biden. “Look Sheldon, don’t make me shoot you. You know how much my supporters love shooting people. All I’m asking you, is that you please rescind your endorsement for me-” “NEVER!” Bastard refuses, as he leaps onto a button that reads “Lava Eject.” Trump leans in to read the button, while we hear siren noises. “Lava ejaculation?! Well if that’s the case, maybe I need to-” both Trump and Biden start falling, as we see then get trapped and held right over a pit of lava. “You know, they ask me why I can get all this lava underwater,” Bastard flaunts, while looking down on the two candidates. “To which I say, I give priceless head.” “Yes, yes, I know, you blew off Shattered Penis,” Trump responds. “I’ve jacked off to that video at least 30 times, back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-” “ENOUGH!” Bastard yells as he lowers the cage down even more. “AGHHHHH!” Both yell, as the now start to fall in the cage. “This is stupid, you know,” Biden tells him. “How can you kill both of us, but still endorse him!” Biden says, while pointing at Trump. “I CAN’T BELIEVE THE DEMENTIA GUY- alright whatever, that just means I’ll spare him and fry you!” Bastard says, while releasing Trump, quickly closing the cage before Biden follows him out. “YAY!” Biden exclaims, before quickly remembering. “Oh, right!”
We see Bastard laughing maniacally, with Trump standing right next to him. “Come on, Bastard, just please endorse him.” “NO! He’s an alt-leftist, why would I do that?” Sheldon says. “FALSE! FALSE!” We hear Biden yell, as he reaches closer down into the lava. Trump starts running at the pit, yelling “NOOOOOOO!” in slow motion, and he starts to leap as he makes it over to the edge. He starts to flow through the air and grab onto the string holding the cage up, as we see shots of Bastard looking on and Biden looking up at him. Trump has successfully landed, and he pulls the cage up away from the lava. “Okay, so you can save him. But that doesn’t convince me to-” “Don’t you get it?” Trump cuts him off. “I’ve done more harm for you then good. If you want someone new in power, vote for him.” “What do you mean ‘more harm than good’?” Bastard questions him. “I released the virus to make people hate you, AND so you could vote for Biden. I pinned the blame on you in that anonymous letter.” Trump then swings the cage up, freeing Biden and causing the lava trapdoor to close. “Vote for him. Please. Do it,” Trump tries to convince him, as Bastard lets out a deep sigh. “Okay. Fine. I’ll… I’ll vote for Biden.” Both Trump and Biden scream in joy, as they high five each other. “But I need you two to help me out. And I mean it,” he says. “Yes sir,” both Biden and Trump agree. “Man, I’ve never been able to persuade anyone to do anything,” Trump remarks, as they both walk out of the Cum Bucket. Bastard laughs from behind after they walk out, looking at ComputerBitch. “Well, babe, victory is ours.” “Right. Yeah. So what about those prostitutes again?” She asks, as Bastard starts laughing, and urges her to drop it.
				AT THE KRUSTY KOCK
We see SpongeCock and the gang all about to head out, with Fricky joining them. “Well, thanks again for helping us do something extremely illegal, guys,” he says to all of the Antifa gang members. Mrs. Puss takes off her mask to reveal her face. “Don’t mention it… SpongeCock,” she says, with a bit of a surprised expression. SpongeCock’s eyes widen and his jaw drops, causing him to go into a craze. “POPPY?!” He then starts to run out of the Krusty Kock, leaving everyone behind. “Jeez, what’s his problem?” Fricky asks, as SpongeCock is shown running directly into the guards. He then looks up to see his fate. 
“Well, you tried to cast an illegal vote,” Shattered Penis says, “and now you’re getting dumped back in your pathetic land. With maybe some additional monitoring,” he emphasizes, as the other guards go into the Krusty Kock to gather Shitward, Kraps, and Fricky, dragging them all outside. “We would go in to remove your vote, but eh, we’re too lazy to.” Bastard is then seen rolling by in his throne. “EXCUSE ME, PARDON ME! FASCIST LEADER COMING THROUGH!” He screams. “Thanks for the clear out, guards!” He says, winking, as he strolls in excited. The guards start dragging SpongeCock and the gang off, as they all look on in agony.
			BACK AT TRUMP AND BIDEN’S LAIR
We return to both of them laying down on their couch, waiting for the results to be announced. “Oh boy, I can’t wait,” Trump explains. “I’m gonna drill Lindsay Lohan so bad that-” “BREAKING NEWS!” Ronnie says, interrupting Trump. “In a shocking turn of events, the winner of the 2020 US-Bikini Bottom presidential election is….” We get shots of both candidates looking on nervously. “....Joe Biden! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new president!” He says, as both of the jump up in celebration. Both of them hug each other in cheer as Ronnie goes on. “While Trump looked like he was pulling away with a victory, Leader Bastard decided to drop his endorsement of him and instead opt for Biden, which many believe led to the 51%-47% win.” “Hell yeah,” Trump says. “I don’t have to be called President anymore, and now we have full ammo for our revolution. Truly is a win-win. How about we call up some barely-adults and make it a win-win-win?” Trump asks, to which Biden nods aggressively. “It isn’t an election win without them,” he says. “Awesome! I’ll get the boats ready,” Trump says, winking, as it cuts to SpongeCock’s pinyapple. 
We see SpongeCock looking at the exact same news broadcast. “Eh. Who cares. Doesn’t affect me,” SpongeCock says. Fatprick comes in to cheer at the sight of a Biden victory. “Whooh! Lesser evil! Maybe the ice cream cake prices will go down.” “Pffft, I still should’ve won with my one write-in vote.” SpongeCock is about to go on before he gets interrupted by a barrage of bullets hitting through the window by the Bikini Bottom guards. He looks out the window that he’s crouched down behind, confronting them. “Now was that really necessarily?” “Oops, sorry, just had to send some warning shots!” One of the guards proclaim, as SpongeCock shuts the curtains with a deadpan look, ending the episode.
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