The Last Stand

The Last Stand is the fourteenth episode of season three, and the fifty-fourth episode overall of Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch. It is the first part to the series finale.
==Plot==
BlackJack returns to Fancyland for one final stand, but everyone finds out that billionaire Elon Musk is a bigger force to be reckoned with when he tries to force Fancyland to give him all of their money.
==Synopsis==
Cold open at night to a first-person perspective of BlackJack. He is riding on a motorbike, and skids to a stop behind Squidward’s house. He almost loses balance and manages to save himself from falling. Then he pulls out a safety pin, unlocks the back door, and sneaks inside.
Transition to the morning after, when a clam crows to indicate the new day. Off-screen, Squidward is heard screaming.
“Who stole my toilet?!” he yells from an open window. “I just got that thing studded!”
SpongeBob shrugs. “Wasn't me. I already have one.” He laughs.
“Not funny, SpongeDolt,” Squidward comments. “He was my baby! Had the gizmos and everything…”
“Don't worry, Squidward,” SpongeBob says, suddenly appearing next to Squidward, scaring him. “Me and Patrick will find him for you.”
“Get out of my house- oh thank you,” Squidward says, promptly kicking SpongeBob out the open window. “I'm still mad, though!”
SpongeBob is unphased yet determined. He begins walking off as Patrick materializes beside him and starts walking with him to the police station. Cut to them sat down in front of a police officer, sternly looking at them from his desk.
“So let me get this straight,” the officer says. “You guys think that someone here… would steal a toilet?”
“Yes,” SpongeBob says. “And it happened to my friend. It is quite literally missing.”
The officer laughs. “The last time someone has ever stolen ANYTHING in Fancyland is when BlackJack-”
The officer interrupts himself and shudders. “BlackJack… BlackJack…”
“BlackJack? You think he could be the culprit?” SpongeBob asks.
“Just one sec…” the officer dials a number and answers. “Hello? This is Officer Slugfish. Yeah. Mhm. Yep, bye.” He hangs up. “I cannot thank you two enough for reporting this to us. BlackJack has been on the run for so long and we’ve been looking for any criminal activity of his for ages. Is there anything else you can tell us about him?”
“Well, I do have quite the history of the guy…” SpongeBob starts.
Fade out to SpongeBob and Patrick leaving the police station.
“Do you think they’ll finally catch him?” Patrick asks SpongeBob.
“I hope so,” SpongeBob says. “I’ve dealt with him firsthand, and I've told him all I could remember. I guess all we can do is wait.”
“Waiting’s for losers,” Patrick says. “I'm gonna go jellyfishing now!”
Patrick impulsively runs off into the distance, and SpongeBob sighs as Patrick can be heard screaming.
“MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!” Patrick yells off-screen.
(The next day…)
SpongeBob is playing leapfrog with Gary, when his shellphone rings. He stops playing and grabs his shellphone out of his pocket to answer the call.
“Hello, SpongeBob speaking.”
Heavy breathing is heard from the phone’s speakers.
“Is… is anyone there?” SpongeBob says.
More heaving breathing is heard. Then, someone on the other line finally answers.
“SpongeBob!” BlackJack shouts. “My nephew boy!”
“Why are you calling me?” SpongeBob asks. “You know what you did to my friend.”
“Friend?” BlackJack says. “That studded toilet loser is your friend?”
“Yeah, the one with the big nose.”
“I don’t recall. Anyway, enough with the chumming up. You’re toast, little man. Burnt toast.”
SpongeBob gulps but remains collected. “I believe you’re the one who’s toast, big boy. You’ve gotten away with your shtick for far too long now. And I think you’re about to be served justice.”
“And what makes you say that?”
“Just wait.” SpongeBob abruptly hangs up and wipes sweat from his forehead. “BlackJack called.”
Gary lets out a nervous meow, and SpongeBob pets him.
“The big man won’t hurt you, don’t worry,” he reassures. “I won’t let him hurt you if he comes our way. Now, let’s go watch some daytime television to calm our nerves, huh?”
SpongeBob and Gary sit down on the couch and begin to watch television. SpongeBob surfs through some mundane channels until a breaking news segment comes on.
“Breaking news?” SpongeBob says. “I hope it’s about BlackJack.”
“Breaking news!” the news anchor says. “Famous billionaire Elon Musk is stated to be making a huge announcement, later today.”
“Huge announcement, huh? Well that’s not anything about BlackJack, I bet. Darn.”
“In other news,” the news anchor continues. “Infamous criminal ‘BlackJack’ has just been arrested on theft charges.”
“WOOOOOOO!” SpongeBob jumps up and down in delight, and so does Gary. “We did it, Gary! The big man has been caught!” SpongeBob sighs. “Now I can finally relax after all these years.”
On the television, BlackJack is seen in handcuffs and looking and pointing at the camera.
“YOU DID THIS!” BlackJack yells. “SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. THIS IS YOUR FAULT! I AM GOING TO GRAB THE SHARPEST KNIFE TO-”
His screaming gets cut off as the news changes to the next segment. SpongeBob turns the TV off and shivers.
“I hope he’s gone for good this time,” SpongeBob says. “He frightens me like no other.”
Gary nods in agreement. SpongeBob then stretches and yawns as he gets up from the couch.
“Well, Gary, I think we’ve had our fun for today. I’m off to bed. Goodnight, Gare-bear.”
They both go upstairs to the bedroom. Cut to the next morning, where SpongeBob is pouring cereal into a bowl as Gary enters the room, groggy.
“Didn’t sleep well last night, Gary?” SpongeBob asks.
Gary gives a tired meow.
“Nightmares, huh? I’m sorry to hear that.”
SpongeBob scoops out a bit of cereal and feeds it to Gary. “Here, have some cereal.”
Gary promptly eats the cereal and slithers off without a word. SpongeBob scratches his head.
“Huh, must be an off day for him.”
SpongeBob takes his cereal into the living room, sits on the couch, and turns on the television. Gale Doppler can be seen.
“This is Gale Doppler, reporting the weather.” He uses a pointing stick to point to the map behind him. “Today we will be having sunny skies. How wonderful!”
“Yay!” SpongeBob says. “Today is gonna be great! The sky is smiling, and the worst criminal in town is behind bars.”
Just then, another breaking news segment appears.
“Breaking news! Infamous criminal BlackJack has once again escaped prison!” Perch Perkins chuckles. “Well, we all expected that one, didn't we? This world is such a mess. But, what can ya do?”
“NOOOOOOOOOO!” SpongeBob breaks down crying. Gary slithers onto his lap and starts nuzzling his owner. “You knew today would be a bad day, didn't you Gary?”
Gary continues purring without answering. Patrick enters the house without any pants. SpongeBob covers his eyes.
“Patrick!” he shouts. “Put some pants on!”
“I can't! I lost them all!”
“How in Bikini Bottom could you have lost all your pants?”
“I only have the one pair, SpongeBob. They're gone now.” Patrick sniffles. “May they rest in pieces.”
SpongeBob sighs and takes off his pants to give to Patrick.
“I have plenty of these, you can take them,” he tells Patrick. “Just… don't burn them off please.”
“Patrick SquarePants!” Patrick says as fanfare plays.
“It's still not funny, Patrick.”
Just then, SpongeBob gets another phone call. He answers the phone, worried about what’s about to come next.
“...hello?” SpongeBob answers.
“THESE ARE YOUR LAST MOMENTS, SQUAREPANTS!” BlackJack yells. “YOU HEAR ME, YOUNG MAN? YOU ARE DEAD!”
BlackJack suddenly hangs up, and SpongeBob gets startled by the dial tone and stands still for a few moments. He takes a few deep breaths and calms down a bit.
“I’m scared, Gary. What if I AM dead?”
Gary gives a reassuring meow.
“Aw, I knew I could count on you, Gary. You’re a great pal.”
Meanwhile, Elon Musk is at an undisclosed location, and is fully invested in his phone, which is showing the so-called “X” app. He is seen liking and bookmarking images of young anime girls.
“Concerning,” he says. “I should look into this.”
“Mr. Musk,” his assistant says to him. “Please stop looking at underaged girls and look at this vault.”
Elon finally looks up from his phone and sees Fancyland’s unlimited money stash inside a huge vault.
“How did they manage to fit all that in there?” Elon asks.
“I don’t know, sir, but I’m sure you would’ve figured it out first,” his assistant says, who gets slapped in the face by Elon.
“Stop being such a suck up. Everyone knows my IQ is at most 51. But…” Elon rubs his hands together. “This is exactly what I’ve been looking for all my life. Unlimited money. Unlimited power. Unlimited slaves! UNLIMITED TESLAS!!!”
Just then, a security alarm starts blaring.
“Dang it, I set off the alarm!” Elon throws his assistant a comically large bag. “Here, put all of the money in here. I gotta scram!”
Elon tries to run away, but he gets pinned down by two security guards. The assistant is also pinned down by another guard.
“The woke mob has gotten to me once again,” Elon remarks, before he is escorted out of the building.
Bubble transition back to SpongeBob’s house, where Patrick is biting on SpongeBob’s arm.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Patrick says to him.
“This feels wrong,” SpongeBob says.
“Darn. I should’ve known you weren’t into it.”
Just then, JackBlack barges through the door, disintegrating it. SpongeBob screams.
“COUSIN BLACKJACK!” SpongeBob. yells. “Please don’t hurt me…”
BlackJack is holding a gun. “Oh, I’ll hurt you alright…”
Gary gets in front of SpongeBob and Patrick and hisses.
“You’ll have to go through Gary first!” SpongeBob shouts.
“Fine!” BlackJack says. “I never cared about snails anyway.”
BlackJack takes a few steps forward, when a breaking news flash shows up on the television.
“Breaking News!” Perch says on the TV. “Richest man in the world, Elon Musk, has just stolen all of Fancyland’s funds after bribing the guards!”
Everyone, including BlackJack, gasps.
“We’re broke?!” everyone yells at the same time.
BlackJack steps back and looks awkwardly. “So, uh, sorry about what just happened. I don’t know what got into me today. I know we aren’t on the best terms, but I think it would be a good idea if we… took down Elon Musk. Mostly so I can stash all of his money.”
Cut to several people on the streets screaming and yelling because they’re poor.
“I am offensively offended!” Lady Upturn says.
“I’m broke!” Fred says, his color draining from his body.
“I’m an eel!” an eel says, which electrocutes Fred.
Cut back to SpongeBob and the others.
“Welllllll… nobody likes an Elon Musk,” SpongeBob says. “I’m still skeptical of you, but… I’ll trust you with this.”
SpongeBob and BlackJack do a begrudged handshake.
“Thanks, little man,” BlackJack says.
“So, what’s the plan, exactly?” SpongeBob asks.
“Just follow my lead.”
SpongeBob and BlackJack exit the pineapple, leaving the others behind.
“So, leapfrog party?” Patrick says, getting in a leapfrog position.
Gary meows affirmingly, getting on top of Patrick.
The episode ends with a shot of SpongeBob and BlackJack walking into the distance, eventually disappearing.
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