Krusty Gets Kancelled/Quotes

:Kent Brockman: Ah, Rainier Wolfcastle. Star of McBain and the upcoming film Help, My Son is a Nerd!
:Rainier Wolfcastle: My son returns from a fancy East Coast college and I'm horrified to find he's a nerd.
:Kent Brockman: I'm laughing already!
:Rainier Wolfcastle: It's not a comedy.
:Kent Brockman: Oh.
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:Bart: Hey, Moe, look over there! (as a distraction)
:Moe: What? What am I looking at? I don't see nothing. I'm gonna stop looking soon. What? What, is that it?
:(Homer walks into Moe's Tavern)
:Homer: Hey, Moe, can I look, too?
:Moe: Sure, but it'll cost you.
:Homer: My wallet's in the car.
:(Homer runs out)
:Moe: He is so stupid. And now back to the wall.
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:Krusty: Is this the callback for that porno film? Look, I was a little nervous that day but I'm all man, I can assure you.
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:Krusty: (groans) 35 years in show business and already no one remembers me, just like... what's his name and whoozits, and, you know, that guy... always wore a shirt?
:Bart: Ed Sullivan?
:Krusty: Yeah.
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:Jeremy Freedman: Here's your taco, mister. (accidentally drops the taco into the deep fryer) Whoops, it fell in the fryer. I'll get it out. (off screen, he tries to get the taco out of the fryer, but the deep fryer's hot temperature burns his hands as he struggles to grab the taco) Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
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:Bart: I didn't know you knew Luke Perry.
:Krusty: Know him? He's my worthless half-brother.
:Lisa: He's a big TV star.
:Krusty: Yeah, on Fox.
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:Krusty: Alright, here's the deal: every time you watch my show, I will send you $40! (holds a check)
:Announcer: Checks will not be honored.
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:Lisa: Miss Midler, I can't believe you do this all by yourself.
:Bette Midler: We're Americans, we deserve clean highways. 
:(Snake drives by, tossing a beer can out of the window as Bette, Bart and Lisa look in shock. Bette picks up the can)
:Bette Midler: YOU PIGS! (She drops her trash stake and chases after Snake)
:Snake: (seeing Bette in his side mirror) Oh no, Bette Midler!
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:Krusty: Now, boys, the network has a problem with some of your lyrics. Would you mind changing 'em for the show?
:Anthony Kiedis: Forget you, clown.
:Chad Smith: Hey, our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.
:Krusty: Well, okay. But here, where you say "What I got, you gotta get and put it in you", how about just, "What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss you"?
:Flea: Wow! That's much better.
:Arik Marshall: Everyone can enjoy that.
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:Reverend Lovejoy: Everyone is saying "Gabbo this" and "Gabbo that". But no one is saying "Worship this" and "Jericho that".
:Jasper: What's this about Gabbo?
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:Gabbo: All the kids in Springfield are S.O.B.s!
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:Kent Brockman: Gabbo's kind of language has no place on or off TV. And that's my two cents. (laughs) That oughta hold those S.O.B.s.
:[A picture of Kent appears behind him with the headline "Brockman in Trouble"]
:Kent Brockman: What the-?!
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:(Bart and Lisa are walking, but they are shocked to see a worn-out Krusty holding a sign that reads, "Will drop pants for food")
:Bart: Krusty, are you making any money?
:Krusty: Nah, that guy's giving it away for free.
:(Krusty points to the Old Jewish Man)
:Old Jewish Man: (singing and shuffling with his pants down) The old gray mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...
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:Bette Midler: This was a great show Krusty, you deserve an Emmy for this!
:Krusty: Forget it, the Academy hates me. Don't know why, bunch of old no-nothing dinosaurs wouldn't know entertainment if it bit 'em in the... (not realizing the camera is still on) Hey Hey! (laughs)
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:(The Red Hot Chili Peppers enter Moe's Tavern wearing only underwear)
:Moe: Hey, you can't come in here dressed like that!
:Dr. Hibbert: (also wearing just underwear) Get with the times, Moe!
:Chief Wiggum: (only wearing underwear as well) Yeah! I say if it feels good, do it.
:[Dr. Hibbert snaps the waistband of his underwear and laughs]
:Chief Wiggum: Don't snap my undies.
es:Krusty Gets Kancelled/Frases