Signs that You Are Too Drunk

#You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
#You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. 
#Your job is interfering with your drinking. 
#Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream. 
#Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. 
#The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. 
#You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group.
#24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not! 
#Two hands and just one mouth - now THAT'S a drinking problem! 
#You can focus better with one eye closed. 
#The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
#You fall off the floor...
#Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
#Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
#Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you. 
#At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..' 
#Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
#You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. 
#The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
#You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alchohol, and Women. 
#Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive. 
#Roseanne looks good. 
#Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass. 
#That damned pink elephant followed me home again. 
#I'm as sober as a judge. 
#The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering. 
#You wake up screaming 'TORO TORO TORO!' in the middle of the night. 
Category:A man walks into a bar....