The Bad Guys (2022)/Transcript

[Fade open to the 2013 Universal Pictures logo. Fade to black. Then, fade to the DreamWorks logo, where we see a grappling hook latch on from below. Mr. Wolf scrambles up the rope, gets on the moon, kicks the hook down, and relaxes. Fade to black.]
MR. SNAKE: (voiceover; to Wolf) Stop.
MR. WOLF: (voiceover; to Snake) I’ll stop if you just explain it to me, because I don’t…
SNAKE: (voiceover; to Wolf) Would you please just drop it?
[Fade open to a newspaper table lying on the table. The front page of The City Times newspaper shows a picture of a heart-shaped meteorite. Headline reads, "METEORITE ON DISPLAY AT THE GALA FOR GOODNESS." On the left side of the photo text reads, "On the first anniversary of its crash landing, the Love Crater meteorite will be on display at Professor Marmalade's famed charity fundraiser. The right side says, "Master Bandits strike again!" Mr. Wolf jiggles the spoon in the coffee cup and takes it out.]
WOLF: (offscreen; to Snake) Alright, alright, fine, fine, fine, consider it dropped. It’s dropped. It’s on the ground.
SNAKE: (offscreen; to Wolf) Good.
[Pan back to see Wolf and Snake sitting at the table in a restaurant. Snake pours creamer into his cup.]
WOLF: (prepares to drink but stops; to Snake) But I mean come on… Everybody loves birthdays. (Snake groans) You’ve got decorations. You’ve got balloons. You got parties… And CAKE.
SNAKE: (as Wolf drinks; to Wolf) Look, I don’t need presents, I don’t want decorations, and I’m not a cake guy.
WOLF: (stares in shock; to Snake) Seriously, though, you don’t like cake? Name one food better than cake.
SNAKE: (holds up his spoon; to Wolf) Guinea pig.
WOLF: (groans; to Snake) Again with the guinea pigs! (laughs as Snake pours salt into his cup) I bet if I blind folded you, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
SNAKE: (puts the salt down; to Wolf) Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
WOLF: (quizzical; to Snake) Air?
SNAKE: (inches close; to Wolf) Yes, air. (tastes the air; smiles) Mmm, nice!
WOLF: (lounges while Snake licks his cup; to Snake) I don’t know. They’re a little, uh, they’re a little cute for my taste.
SNAKE: (grins; to Wolf) That what makes them so delicious! (grabs the T-Bone) You’re not just eating food, you’re eating pure goodness. (throws the bone away) It’s not about the pig, it’s about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
WOLF: (quizzical; to Snake) So, you can… you can taste air? 
SNAKE: (in dismay; to Wolf) Ugh.
WOLF: (quizzical; to Snake) What else you got?
SNAKE: (grumpily; to Wolf) Forget about it.
WOLF: (sarcastically; to Snake) Can you also hear color? (laughs; smirks) Can you see sound? 
SNAKE: (grumpily; to Wolf) Okay. 
WOLF: (sarcastically; to Snake) 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on these skills.
SNAKE: (grumpily; to Wolf) Okay, alright, fine, get it all out… get it all out now.
WOLF: (chuckles; to Snake) Okay, okay! 
SNAKE: (gags up a clock; to Wolf) Look at that, 4PM. Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
WOLF: (laughs; to Snake) Let’s bounce.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) Yup. (eats up the clock)
WOLF: (as he and Snake leave the table; to Snake) Tastes like... you’re going to stick me with the bill… again!
[Wolf straightens his suit and pants. Credits appear. We see tons of customers backing away from the two in fear as they walk by.]
SNAKE: (smirks; to Wolf) Well, it IS my birthday.
WOLF: (frowns; to Snake) So NOW you play the Birthday card. That’s interesting. (Snake laughs; to a worker) Can we get the check please when you get the chance? (no response; one worker hides behind the kitchen door) Hello? Checkity check check? (another comes out but sees the two and screams before hiding) You know what, we’re just gonna leave the money right here, okay? (leaves money on the table and then the jar)
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) You know the one good thing about this place?
WOLF: (quizzical; to Snake) What?
SNAKE: (as he and Snake leave the table; to Wolf) We never have to wait for a table.
WOLF: (snarks; to Snake) Isn’t that every place?
SNAKE: (to the customers; nonchalantly) Hey man how have you been I haven’t seen you in… SNAKE ATTACK! (the customers scream and cower in fear; laughs and spots mints) Ooh, mints!
WOLF: (while Snake swallows the bowl of mints; to the customers) Sorry, folks, I’m switching him to decaf. (chuckles)
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) All right.
BOTH: (confidently; smiling) Let’s do this.
[The two leave the restaurant as citizens run away and cars stop abruptly. They approach the bank.]
WOLF: (quizzically; to Snake) Guinea pig, huh?
SNAKE: (grins; to Wolf) It’s the Rolls Royce of rodents...
WOLF: (as they get to the door; to Snake) Yeah, but it’s still a rodent. (opens the door; frowns) You know what I mean?
[As they enter the bank, people scream and run away.]
WOLF: (waves to them) Don’t mind us, just robbing this place.
[They walk to the left and we hear glass shattering followed by an alarm blaring. Snake hops with a safe while Wolf has two bags of money. They both jump out the window in slow motion. Then, in regular motion, they get in the car and drive off.]
WOLF: (as he drives; to Snake) Whoo! Yeah! Go bad…
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) Or go home.
[Wolf fist-bumps Snake's head and they both laugh. The car leaps off a ramp, soars through the air, and lands on the road.]
WOLF: (to the viewers; smiles) Hey, you. Get over here. Little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. (drives up to the camera; knowingly) You’re afraid because I’m the… (camera zooms on his face; glares) the Big Bad Wolf. 
[Cut to tons of books showing the wolf as a villain.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) Well, I’m not surprised. I am the villain in every story. 
[Cut back to Mr. Wolf as Snake turns the dial on the safe.]
WOLF: (to Mr. Snake; smirks) Isn’t that right, Mr. Snake?
SNAKE: (chuckling; to Wolf) Yep.
WOLF: (to the viewers; smiles) Say hello to Mr. Snake. 
[Snake's name flashes next to him. Cut to a file of him dropping down.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) Serpentine, safe-cracking machine. 
[Cut to Snake turning the dial of a safe before cracking the code to unlock it. Inside is tons of gold bars, safes, and bags of money at the bank.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) Imagine Houdini but with no arms. Kind of guy who’d tell you the glass is half empty, then steal it from you. 
[He slithers in. Cut back to Wolf and Snake.]
WOLF: (to the viewers; smiles) He’s also my best bud. (singsongy; smirks) And today’s his birthday!
SNAKE: (while working; to Wolf) Not relevant.
WOLF: (to the viewers; smiles) He’s a sweetheart. (grins; to Snake) You’re a sweetheart.
[They hear police sirens as they look in the mirror to see police cars chasing them.]
SNAKE: (smiles; seeing the police cars) Well, look who’s here.
WOLF: (grins; seeing the police cars) Took ’em long enough.
[The car speeds up as the cops give chase. They approach a row of stoplights.]
WOLF: (to the viewers; smirks) Watch this.
[On one of them, Tarantula pokes out, crawls out and gets out her computer to start hacking. The car gets closer and closer.]
WOLF: (as they approach the stop light) Three. Two. One.
[She then taps a key. All of the stoplights turn green.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) And over here is Ms. Tarantula. 
[She grabs her laptop and jumps off and her name flashes next to her. Cut to a file of her dropping down. We then see a montage of her hacking computers with the screens showing a satellite probe and the rocket in a computer room at the space station and the screens showing her grinning (along with two more heads) with text saying, "YOU HAVE BEEN HACKED!" before walking down a sidewalk. Pictures snap of her by an unseen camera from an unseen figure as she walks.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) Our in-house hacker, our pocket search engine, our traveling tech wizard. We call her Webs.
[Back in present day, Tarantula presses a key on her laptop and manages to fall into the black car while the stoplights turn red. The police cars are stopped by traffic. Some of them crash. Cut to the Bad Guys as they drive off. Tarantula is on Wolf's shoulder.]
WOLF: (smiles; to Tarantula) Very slick, Webs.
[Tarantula looks at her laptop, listing off what she's done before closing the laptop.]
MS. TARANTULA: (smiles; to Wolf) I also took over the police dispatch, blurred their satellite imaging system, grounded their chopper. (singsongy; to Snake) And one more thing.
SNAKE: (frowns; to Tarantula) You didn’t.
[A birthday cake appears in the frame. A delivery man drives up by their side on a bike, holding it.]
DELIVERY MAN: (drives up; smiles) I got a special delivery for… (sees the Bad Guys and throws the cake as Wolf grabs it; scared) Ah! Ooh! Don’t eat me! Please! Don’t eat me!
[He spins away, leaving some police cars crashing.]
TARANTULA: (smiles; to Snake) Happy birthday, Mr. Grumpy Pants.
SNAKE: (snarks; to Tarantula) I think I hate you.
[They make a left turn and approach a construction site. A worker gestures the crane to lower down some port-a-potties. As the car drives by, he orders the crane to drop them. The port-a-potties are dropped and the cops crash into them. As they stare in astonishment, the worker runs out and jumps as the car spins around, removing his disguise. It was Mr. Shark.]
MR. SHARK: (chuckling; to the others) Guys, it’s me. I was the construction worker.
[His name flashes next to him. Cut to a file of him dropping down.]
WOLF: (voiceover; smiles to the viewers) And this is Mr. Shark. 
[We see Shark approaching two bodyguards in front of an open safe in Fort Knox. One stops him, but he shows him his identity. We see he's disguised as the man in the picture. The bodyguards let him in, and he salutes them.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) Master of disguise, apex predator of a thousand faces. 
[Cut to photographers taking pictures of the Mona Lisa painting, not knowing it's actually Shark in disguise in a portrait at the Louvre in Paris, France. Camera turns to show this is actually a glass window with a frame around it.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) His greatest trick: stealing the Mona Lisa disguised as the Mona Lisa. 
[Cut later outside, Shark runs off with the real painting in his arms outside the Louvre while still in the disguise. Cut back to present day.]
WOLF: (smiles; to the viewers) Dig that.
[Shark is squishing Snake by pushing his seat up.]
SNAKE: (while being squished; to Shark) Watch it, big tuna! I’m trying to work here!
SHARK: (assuring Snake; to Snake) Keep it cool, baby. (puts a birthday hat on Snake; smiles) Birthdays should be chill.
[As the cops keep chasing the Bad Guys...]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) And rounding out the crew…
[In one police car, the glove compartment thumps next to a cop. The cop notices in confusion before Mr. Piranha pops out.]
MR. PIRANHA: (pops out; to the cop) SURPRISE!!!
[He laughs maniacally before the cop screams and Piranha attacking the cop. The car shakes around. He then leaps out of the car as the scene goes into slow motion. His name flashes next to him.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) …is Mr. Piranha. 
[His name flashes next to him. Cut to a file of him dropping down. Cut to a dark alley, Piranha eating about to eat a burrito when he comes across some thugs, ready to attack him.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) He’s a loose cannon with a short fuse, willing to scrap with anyone, or anything.
[They surround him, with one breaking a bottle. Piranha throws away his burrito, laughs, and attacks the thugs, sending them up in the air.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) He’s brave, he’s fearless -- 
[Back in present day, the scene returns to normal speed. Piranha flies off and the cop cars tumble on the road behind him.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) Who am I kidding? He’s crazy.
[Piranha enters the car through the sunroof and lands between Wolf and Snake.]
PIRANHA: (laughs; to the others) Santo cielo, that’s a lot of popo!
TARANTULA: (scoldingly; to Piranha) Uh... Piranha, did we forget something?
PIRANHA: (confused; to the crew) What?
SHARK: (leans in; to Piranha) The present... You know...
PIRANHA: (nervously; to the crew) Oh... um, of course I didn’t forget... (toots)
TARANTULA: (fans the air; to Piranha) You know, you fart when you lie, right?
PIRANHA: (embarrassed; to Tarantula) What? No, I fart when I’m nervous.
TARANTULA: (exclaims; to Piranha) Yeah! Nervous about lying! (Piranha's stomach groans, the others sport scared looks)
PIRANHA: (embarrassed; apologetically) Sorry. (farts inside the car, covering the inside in a fart cloud. The car shakes a bit.)
OTHERS: (irked and disgusted; to Piranha) PIRANHA!!!!!!! 
[They poke their heads out to breathe.]
WOLF: (scared; to the crew) Don’t breathe it in!
SHARK: (scared; to Wolf) I breathed it in!!!
[The fart cloud trails to the police cars, obscuring their visions. They end up crashing while the cops gasp and poke their heads out for air.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) Yeah, they’re a bit eccentric, but when you’re born us, you don’t exactly win many popularity contests.
[Cut to Mr. Shark walking by at the beach. One woman skids in and spots him. She yells to the other beachgoers.]
BEACHGOER WOMAN: (whimpers; sees Shark) Shark!!!
OTHERS: (scared; seeing Shark) Shark!
[The beachgoers run away from him as he and the Bad Guys relax. Cut to Mr. Wolf.]
WOLF: (to the viewers; quizzically) Do I wish people didn’t see us as monsters?
[Cut to Ms. Tarantula running on a treadmill in the gym.]
TARANTULA: (while running; greets a guy) Eight legs, eight times the cardio. 
[A guy nearby screams and trips on the treadmill before flying off. Tarantula resumes running.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) Sure I do. 
[Cut to Mr. Piranha swimming up in a jacuzzi in a floatie. He appears, shocking the people there.]
PIRANHA: (relaxing; to the people) What’s up, papa? 
[The people scream and get out of the jacuzzi. Cut back to Mr. Wolf.]
WOLF: (to the viewers; explains to the viewers) But these are the cards we’ve been dealt, so we might as well play ‘em. 
[Snake manages to crack the code on the safe.]
SNAKE: (victoriously; grins) Jackpot!
[He opens the safe, letting out tons of money.]
PIRANHA: (overjoyed; grins) YES!
[The car makes a quick right turn and goes down an alley. The camera shows the Bad Guys in style as they drift through the alley. Once out, the car stops across from the police station. Wooden boxes are knocked down. The door opens, dollar bills fly out, and the safe flies out, opening up to let one dollar out. Snake leans out of the car. The cops notice the open safe and turn to the Bad Guys. The others look nervous while Wolf smiles confidently.]
SNAKE: (nervously; notices the cops) Umm... (closes the door; he and the others stare at Wolf)
TARANTULA: (shocked; to Wolf) What the thorax?!
PIRANHA: (shocked; to Wolf) Are you crazy?
WOLF: (shrugs; defensive) What? I just wanted a longer car chase. (to the viewers; smiles) It’s the best part. 
[His name flashes next to him. Inside the station, we see the chief's office having a board full of papers on the Bad Guys. Darts are seen around the board. A huge shadow looms over the board. Then, an officer enters the room.]
OFFICER BOB: (bursts in; panicking) Chief... it’s...
CHIEF MISTY LUGGINS: (turns around; knowingly) THEM! 
[Two cops watch it outside the door. Chief Luggins kicks down the door, knocking away the two cops, and steps out of the building to confront the Bad Guys. Camera turns back to the Bad Guys.]
WOLF: (to Tarantula; smirks) Webs, hit it. 
[Tarantula plays “Stop, Drop, Roll” by Can’t Stop Won’t Stop on her phone. They put on sunglasses and bop their heads to the music.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (points her finger at them; to the officers) GET THEM!!!
[They laugh and drive off as the title card "The Bad Guys" appears onscreen. The police get in their cars and drive after them. Two cops fly off as the cars go off. We see the Bad Guys singing the song.]
BAD GUYS: (singing) Hooked on hip-hop phonics. Yeah, it works for me. So jump aboard, yeah, this train is free. The conductor, let me toot my whistle. The instructor of the funky uncle fizzle. We be dancin’ on a lake when it ain’t froze over. We be walkin’ on water while you’re sinkin’ your rover. If you step any closer, you’ll be eatin’ some teeth. So please step back…
[The cops pursue them, with Luggins in the lead.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (laughing; to the crew) I’m gonna put you guys away for so long, your fleas will have fleas.
[She puts her nightstick on the pedal and gets outside the car. She leans out, grabs the Bad Guys' car, and pulls them close. They exclaim in fear and drop their sunglasses.]
SHARK: (grins; to Luggins) Chief. You want some cake? (offers her cake; smirks) You seem a little hangry. (the others laugh)
CHIEF LUGGINS: (annoyed; to Shark) Get that thing out of my face before I…
WOLF: (grins; to Luggins) Excuse me, Chief.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (angrily; to Wolf) What?
[He points to a bus coming their way. Luggins screams and gets back to her car, narrowly avoiding the bus as it passes by. She nearly falls out but scrambles back into her car, drifting a bit. The Bad Guys continue to jam to the song until they see more police cars approaching from the front.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (chuckles; to the Bad Guys) You’re mine.
[Wolf stomps on the pedal, speeding up toward the cars. The others get nervous about this.]
PIRANHA: (nervous; to Wolf) Hermano.
[Then, Wolf pulls the stick and the car drifts away before going down some stairs. Luggins and the cops scream before colliding into each other, making a pile of crashed police cars. A few cops fling out. The Bad Guys soar across the stairs, floating off their seats. Piranha laughs. Snake grabs back on with his teeth while the others swim back. Soon, the car lands on the stairs and drives down. The Bad Guys scream. The cake lands back down in the car. They notice before continuing to scream. Soon, they make it out, knocking two trash cans in the process. The Bad Guys all have scared expressions, so they put on their seatbelts.]
WOLF: (to the viewers; grins) Yeah, we may be bad, but we’re so good at it.
[He puts on sunglasses and the Bad Guys laugh as they drive away. On the cops, Luggins kicks down the door to see them getting away.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (throws down and stomps on her hat; angrily) Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Keep running, Wolf! One of these days, your luck is gonna run out!
[Fade to white. Later, we see the Bad Guys drive under a Sixth Street bridge and enter a tunnel, turning on headlights. Once inside, the car drives down the tunnel and reaches an elevator. They get inside the elevator and go up. They sit on their car, waiting while Piranha eats food. Then, the door opens to reveal their hideout with tons of valuables inside. All of which stolen. On the table, the Mona Lisa painting gets swept away as Wolf sets the birthday cake down.]
WOLF: (to Piranha; smiles) All right, Piranha, you’re up.
PIRANHA: (sings; to Snake) Oh… Happy bir… 
[Snake quickly blows out his candle and Piranha gasps in dismay.]
TARANTULA: (dismayed; to Snake) Seriously?!
WOLF: (scolds Snake; to Snake) Snake, come on. At least make a toast. (Snake groans; encouraging) Toast! Come on!
TARANTULA: (encouraging; to Snake) Come on.
SNAKE: (relents; to the crew) Okay, okay. All right. A toast.
PIRANHA: (cheers; happily) Whoo!
SNAKE: (grabs his cup; relents) Fine. (raises his cup; toasting) I’ve made a lot of enemies in my time… I mean, a lot… but out of all the people in the world, I hate you guys the least.
TARANTULA: (touched; to Snake) Aw.
PIRANHA: (touched; to Snake) That was actually kind of beautiful.
SHARK: (touched; to Snake) You’re a poet, man.
WOLF: (raises his cup with the others; toasting to Snake) To Mr. Snake and his strange dislike of birthdays.
TARANTULA: (cheers; toasts her cup) Yay!
[They clink their cups together before gathering for a picture. Wolf holds the camera.]
WOLF: (holds the camera; to the crew) Everyone say, “Robbery.”
ALL: (grinning; in unison) Robbery.
[Wolf takes the picture, and a photo develops from the camera.]
WOLF: (chuckles; looks at the photo) Oh. Look at those dimples. (Snake takes the photo; to Snake) Happy birthday, buddy.
SNAKE: (smiles; to the crew) Okay. Now, dig in, fellas.
PIRANHA: (joyfully; grins) Yes! (laughs before munching wildly on the cake)
TARANTULA: (annoyed; to Tarantula) Piranha!
WOLF: (offscreen; scoldingly) Don’t do that.
[Snake slithers to the fridge to put the photo up. We see more photos surrounding it.]
TARANTULA: (offscreen; disgusted) That was so gross.
SHARK: (offscreen; upset) That was my lunch!
PIRANHA: (offscreen; laughs) You snooze, you lose.
[Tarantula laughs offscreen.]
WOLF: (offscreen; smirks) You like that.
[Snake smiles and opens the fridge to find a Push-Pop.]
SNAKE: (grins; spots the Push-Pop) Nice. 
[He grabs the Push Pop and slithers out. He prepares to eat, only to bump into Shark. Shark looks hungrily at the Push Pop.]
SHARK: (grins; to Snake) Ooh, wow. I forgot we had those Push Pops! (hungrily; follows it as Snake moves it away) Man... my tummy is rumbling like a kraken right now. (Snake smirks and turns around)
SNAKE: (deceitful; to Shark) Yeah. Want it? (holds it up to Shark, who stares at it in awe. Wolf smiles as he watches in his seat, and Webs is in dismay and Piranha is curious as they watch this. Snake has a sly smile on his face.)
TARANTULA: (to Shark; doubtfully) You know he’s not going to give it to you.
SHARK: (grins; to Tarantula) No. I believe that deep down, Snake is a kind and generous soul.
TARANTULA: (doubtfully; to Shark) Why?
SNAKE: (deceitful; to Shark) Here. Take it.
SHARK: (laughing; to Snake) Oh yeah!! Pop me, please! (opens his mouth) Ah… (Snake moves the Push Pop and it touches the tip of his tongue. The others watch while grinning. At the last second....)
SNAKE: (throws the Push Pop up to his mouth; to Shark) Ha! (swallows the Push Pop and chuckles; sneers) Sucker.
SHARK: (dismayed; to Snake) Come on, man. Now you gonna make me get all aggressive.
[He proceeds to beat up Snake to try to get his Push Pop. Wolf walks away while Piranha and Tarantula join in on the chaos.]
WOLF: (to the viewers; smirks) Animals.
[Wolf walks to the couch as Shark chokes Snake. Tarantula tugs at Shark's coat. Piranha gets on the fridge and throws a crate at Shark, gets down, and throws a chair at Shark, but none of them hurt Shark. This happens behind the couch.]
SHARK: (while fighting Snake; to Snake) Spit it out! Spit it out!
[Snake gets out of Shark's grasp.]
SNAKE: (defiantly; to Shark) Never!
[The other proceed to wrestle as Wolf sits down.]
WOLF: (grabs the remote; interested) Let’s see what they’re saying about us today.
[He turns on the TV to show a news report.]
TIFFANY FLUFFIT: (on TV; reporting) What up? It’s Tiffany Fluffit, Channel 6 Action News. The Bad Guys have struck again…
WOLF: (to the others; excitedly) Guys, guys, stop it. We’re on TV.
[They fight until they notice and stop with Shark spitting out Piranha.]
PIRANHA: (excited; runs to the couch) Ooh, ooh!
[The others sit down with Wolf to watch the news.]
TIFFANY FLUFFIT: (on TV; reporting) …proving once more that they are the most diabolical criminals of our time.
TARANTULA: (grins; refers to the word) Ooh, “diabolical.” That’s new.
SHARK: (smiles; to the crew) Know what it sounds like? A cologne. (dramatically; spreads his arms out wide) Diabolical. (the others laugh)
TIFFANY: (on TV, as the camera pans to Diane) To address this heinous crime spree is the newly elected governor, Diane Foxington.
WOLF: (perks up as Diane appears on TV, amazed) Governor?
DIANE FOXINGTON: (on TV; to the crowd) Okay. Yeah. I hear you. I hear you. Listen, listen. We all know how dastardly the Bad Guys are.
WOLF: (smiles; to the TV) You bet we are.
DIANE: (on TV; to the crowd) But more than anything… (chuckles, then) I feel sorry for them.
WOLF: (he and the others are shocked to hear this) What?
DIANE: (on TV; to the crowd) These so-called Bad Guys are really just second-rate has-beens. Behind their amateurish antics and, frankly, unoriginal capers… I mean, really, another bank? …is nothing but a deep well of anger…
PIRAHNA: (angry; to the TV) I ain’t angry! You’re angry!
DIANE: (on TV; to the crowd) …denial…
TARANTULA: (denying; to the TV) Not true.
DIANE: (on TV; to the crowd) …and self-loathing.
SNAKE: (angrily; to the TV) The only one I self-loathe is you.
DIANE: (on TV; to the crowd) And those are holes that no amount of cash or priceless art can ever fill.
SNAKE: (then; frowns) What’s on the Food Network?
DIANE: (on TV; to the crowd) So can we just forget about…
WOLF: (to the viewers; offended) Who is she to judge us?! (growls)
DIANE: (on TV; to the crowd) …the Bad Guys for once and focus on more positive things? (Wolf growls) And what could be more positive than the annual GOOD SAMARITAN AWARDS where tomorrow night I will present the GOLDEN DOLPHIN to this year’s “Goodest Citizen”…
[Wolf growls and shuts off the TV. The other Bad Guys were mad from what Diane said about them. As Wolf glares, Tarantula stands up and walks around in shock.]
TARANTULA: (shocked; to the others) I can’t believe I voted for her!
PIRAHNA: (shocked; to Tarantula) You voted for her?
TARANTULA: (retorts; to Piranha) What? She’s good on climate change.
[Wolf then smirks.]
SNAKE: (notices his smirk; to Wolf) Wait. What’s going on? You’ve got that twinkle in your eye.
WOLF: (gets up; to the crew) Guys, who’s up for another job? A big one.
[He goes to the window and opens the shutters to show a billboard of the Good Samaritan Awards with a Golden Dolphin up. He leans by the window while the others look in shock.]
SNAKE: (not amused; to Wolf) The Golden Dolphin. Seriously?
PIRANHA: (shocked; to Wolf) Oh. I thought I was the crazy one.
SNAKE: (slithers; to Wolf) That job has broken every criminal who’s tried it. 
[Cut to newspapers setting down on the table, showing each criminal being arrested for attempting to steal the Golden Dolphin.]
SNAKE: (voiceover; listing) The Bucharest Bandits, Lucky Jim. 
[One newspaper shows a detective looking at the Golden Dolphin with his magnifying glass as yellow tapes and officers surround the place. Headline reads, "THE CRIMSON PAW'S LAST HURRAH?" Side text reads "Mystery thief vanishes without a trace, and without Dolphin." The photo shows the Crimson Paw.]
SHARK: (voiceover; listing) The Crimson Paw.
[Cut back to the crew.]
TARANTULA: (corrects Shark; explains) Actually, the Crimson Paw was never arrested.
SNAKE: (confirms; to Tarantula) Yeah, but he never stole anything again.
WOLF: (smiles; to Snake) Snake, what better way to wipe that smirk off the governor’s fuzzy face than stealing the Golden Dolphin from right under her whiskers? This is the Holy Grail of thievery. If we pull this off, we’ll cement our legacy as the greatest criminals of all time.
SNAKE: (unsure; to Wolf) Whoa, whoa, buddy. I thought we weren’t supposed to make things personal. Besides, we’ve got a good thing going here. Friends, freedom, and just look at this loot.
WOLF: (frowns; to Snake) All right, you’re right. Forget it. The Dolphin job is off.
SNAKE: (nods; to Wolf) Good.
WOLF: (smirks; to Snake) I guess the pig will get his trophy after all.
SNAKE: (as he slithers back; to Wolf) Yeah, I guess he would… (then) What do you mean, “pig?”
WOLF: (grins; to Snake) Oh, yes, did I not mention that? That’s weird. I thought I mentioned that it was, uh… 
[He pulls down the shutters and they spring up to show Professor Marmalade on the billboard. The others are shocked.]
SHARK: (shocked; sees the figure on the billboard) The Good Samaritan is… 
TARANTULA: (shocked; sees the figure on the billboard) A guinea pig?
[Snake slurps excitedly.]
WOLF: (grins; to Snake) What do you say, Snakey? Better than cake.
[The others laugh.]
TARANTULA: (while laughing; agreeing) Right.
SNAKE: (groans; to Wolf) Okay. Fine. But he better be delicious.
WOLF: (laughs; to his crew) Are we all in this together?
[They put their hands together before transitioning to the Museum of Fine Arts on ceremony night.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) So here’s the plan. Like every year, the ceremony will be held at the Museum of Fine Arts, where the Golden Dolphin will be positioned just beyond the backstage curtain.
[Cut back to the Bad Guys.]
PIRANHA: (scoffs; crosses his arms) Sounds easy.
WOLF: (as he puts on a white hat; to Piranha) Sounds easy, hermano, but to get there, we’ll need to bypass three levels of security. So, step one... 
[As he puts on his sunglasses, we transition to the crew approaching the gala in disguise. Wolf is dressed in a white tuxedo, hat, glasses, and fake mustache. Shark is dressed as a lady in a red dress, blonde wig, and glasses, with Tarantula disguised as a butterfly on his hair with fake wings. Snake is dressed as a gentleman with a monocle, suit, fake mustache, and bowtie with fake arms. Piranha is dressed in a black and white tuxedo with a hat, small glasses, and fake mustache.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) We’ll need to blend in.
[“Howlin’ for You” by The Black Keys plays as they walk in. The disguised crew walks down in style. They approach the gala when a limo drives by before stopping.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) Professor Marmalade, this year’s recipient of the Golden Dolphin, the most annoying good creature on the planet. 
[A bodyguard opens the limo door, and Cuddles lends his hand as a platform for Marmalade to step out and greet the cheering people. He closes the door behind him.]
TIFFANY: (interviews Marmalade; to Marmalade) Professor, in the past year, you’ve stopped wars, fed the hungry and saved countless pandas. Some have described your goodness as second only to Mother Teresa.
MARMALADE: (answers her question; to Tiffany) Oh, Tiffany, it’s not a competition. And if it were, it would really be more of a tie. (as he signs an autograph; smiles) But we can all agree that there is a flower of goodness inside all of us, just waiting to blossom.
[Cut to Luggins approaching a door before getting out her keycard. She inserts it into the slip, and it beeps. She then opens the door.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) Once inside, there are two armored doors. The first can only be opened by a special key card that is carried by our dear friend, the chief of police. 
[Diane approaches the retinal scanner, and it scans her eye. It confirms and opens the door for her and Luggins to enter backstage. There, the Golden Dolphin is on a pedestal protected by lasers. Diane and Luggins go in and two bodyguards stand by as the door closes.] 
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) The second is outfitted with a retinal scanner and guarded by an elite special ops unit trained to strike first and ask questions later. 
[A fly appears and buzzes around between the bodyguards. One of them grabs the fly and punches it in the palm of his hand. Outside, Wolf and his crew walk down the red carpet. Wolf sees Diane chatting with the ambassador and his girl while walking. They talk and then laugh. Diane sighs and wipes a tear from her eye. We don't hear what they have said. Wolf smiles to the viewers and moves his eyebrows with an idea.] 
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) Governor Foxington is the only one who has clearance to open the second door. So, step two: She and I will need to get up close and personal.
[Cut to Diane with the ambassador and his girl, they are done talking.]
DIANE: (to the Ambassador; smiles) Enjoy your evening, Mr. Ambassador.
AMBASSADOR: (to Diane; smiles) Thank you, ma’am. 
[As the ambassador and his girl leave, Diane sees Wolf staring at an abstract art piece. He pretends to marvel at it.]
WOLF: (in disguise; stares at the art piece) Interesting piece. Trashy, pointless and pretentious.
DIANE: (stares at the art piece; to the disguised Wolf) Hmm. They say that art reveals more about the viewer than the artist. (Wolf chuckles; smiles) Mister…
WOLF: (in disguise; grabs her hand) Poodleton. Oliver Poodleton.
DIANE: (as Wolf kisses her hand and steals her ring) Uh… okay.
WOLF: (in disguise; smiles) It’s about time someone stood up to those diabolical Bad Guys. Though, I’ve got to say, no one’s succeeded yet.
DIANE: (smirks; to the disguised Wolf) Eh. I don’t think it’ll be that hard.
WOLF: (in disguise; smiles) I have a feeling it’ll be harder than you think. I’d say they’re one epic job away from cementing their legacy.
[Diane laughs while Wolf chuckles a little bit before frowning.]
DIANE: (laughs; to the disguised Wolf) Mr. Poodleton, you’re-you’re funny.
WOLF: (in disguise; confused) I am?
DIANE: (laughs; to the disguised Wolf) The only legacy they’re cementing is life in prison. Did you see their last job? Ugh. Unsecured exits, crude disguises, compulsive showboating. (Wolf frowns nervously) I mean, it was a mess. All the classic signs of a crew in decline. Next, they’re gonna make it personal. That’s when you know they’re toast.
WOLF: (in disguise; chuckles) Uh, well, that’s your opinion.
DIANE: (chuckles; to the disguised Wolf) It is, and I’m the governor. As for the sculpture, I think it’s about perspective. If you look closely enough, even trash can be recycled into something beautiful.
[She turns Wolf around to show the art piece's abstract shadow forming into a beautiful swan. Wolf is amazed by this.]
WOLF: (in disguise; amazed) How about that? I guess some things aren’t always as they appear. That reminds me. (gets out his phone; to Diane) May I? I can’t miss a photo op with the governor and a pile of garbage. (poses for the camera)
DIANE: (poses for the camera; grins) Oh, Mr. Poodleton, you’re too hard on yourself.
WOLF: (in disguise; offended) Hey…
[He flashes the camera. Flash fades to the other Bad Guys. Wolf went back to his friends.]
WOLF: (smiles; to the crew) Okay, friends. It’s showtime.
[He flicks the ring in his hand and grabs it. He and his crew then enter the museum.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) Once we’re in, it’s on to step three: We split up and we take our positions.
[Up on the second floor, Luggins addresses the officers.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (addressing; to the officers) Officers, if the Bad Guys crash this event, I am definitely going to lose my job, and I will not hesitate to take you down with me. Now, move out.
OFFICERS: (obeying; to Luggins) Yes, ma’am! (march off) Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut…
[Luggins marches off. Down below, the group walks around before splitting up. Shark sets down Tarantula, who crawls off. Piranha goes into the fountain, sinking into the water below, Snake slithers towards a spiral statue, Wolf heads up the stairs, and Shark heads into the auditorium. Tarantula turns on the mic. The screen splits into multiple boxes to show the Bad Guys. They also turn on their mics as they walk. Tarantula speaks into the mic while crawling. Wolf is approaching the stairs. Snake is going to the art gallery. Piranha is swimming through the pipe. Shark is in the auditorium.]
TARANTULA: (on com; to the crew) Mic’s on. Everyone on comms, do you copy?
WOLF: (on com; to Tarantula) Copy.
SNAKE: (on com; to Tarantula) Copy.
PIRANHA: (on com; to Tarantula) Copy.
SHARK: (on com; to Tarantula while in a high-pitched voice) Copy.
[Snake climbed up the spiral statue to the vent as Webs rides onto a guard's back. He enters the security room and shuts the door, not noticing Tarantula on him. In the auditorium, Shark sits at a table and a waiter offers him a drink.]
WAITER: (offers Shark a drink; to the disguised Shark) A drink for the pretty lady?
SHARK: (in disguise; refuses) No, thank you. My life is too complicated right now.
[He takes two drinks, much to the waiter's confusion. Up in the vent, Snake sheds his skin to his spy outfit. In the bathroom, a waiter whistles while heading to the toilet. Piranha appears inside the toilet smiling evilly as the waiter closes the door. A flush is heard, transitioning to the office, Tarantula plugs in a USB, activates her computer, and starts typing. The screen shows the Golden Dolphin.]
TARANTULA: (rubs her hands together; on com) Boys, it’s Dolphin season.
[The guard is seen tied up behind her. In the bathroom, Piranha disguised himself as a waiter while the real one is knocked out. He straightens his bowtie.]
PIRANHA: (on com; to Tarantula) Copy that. I’m on the move.
[He walks off. Transition to the upper floor, where we see Luggins walking around the gala while Wolf sneaks behind.]
CHIEF LUGGINS (over radio; to an officer) Unit two, is the backstage area still secure?
OFFICER: (over radio; to Luggins) Unit two. All clear.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (over radio; grins) This is where all the training pays off.
[As she walks around, Wolf "accidentally" bumps into Luggins from behind.]
WOLF: (in disguise; apologetically) Oh, pardon me. Terribly sorry.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (politely; to the disguised Wolf) Not a problem, sir. (over radio; to the cops) Keep your eyes open, boys. They could be anywhere, just waiting to humiliate us.
[Around the corner, Wolf gets out Luggins's key card. As he walks off, he flashes the card to the camera and laughs.]
TARANTULA: (over radio; smiles) Wolf is in position.
[Transition to waiters wheeling out orders.]
TARANTULA: (over radio; to Piranha) Piranha, you all penguin-suited and booted?
[Piranha joins them, disguised as a waiter.]
PIRANHA: (on com; to Tarantula) Affirmative. I’m a clean, mean, Dolphin-stealing machine. (to the other waiters; smiles) What’s going on, guys?
[On the second level, Wolf walked past the guests, stealing jewelry and wallets from them. Piranha enters the janitor's closet. Pan up to see Wolf walking downstairs while seeing Piranha enter with the tray and cart. Piranha smiles to Wolf as he goes in. Wolf then walks next to a wealthy old lady, noticing the purse full of riches. He was about to steal the purse from the old lady until she trips. Wolf managed to pull her up safely. The purse hangs between the two figures. She pants for a moment. Wolf looks at the camera and then sighs.]
WOLF: (sighs; to the old lady) Here, let me help you. (sets her down; quizzically) Are you okay, ma’am?
OLD WOMAN: (panting; smiles) Oh, my gracious, yes. I may be dizzy, but I’m alive, thanks to you.
WOLF: (confused; as the old lady hugs him) What are you…
OLD WOMAN: (warmly smiles and holds his hands; to Wolf) Thank you, dear. You’re such a good boy.
[She walks away, leaving Wolf in shock. His tail starts wagging. He notices and tries to stop it. Then, as Piranha chops up some food, Wolf enters the janitor's closet, still shocked. His fur tingles up and he smiles.]
PIRANHA: (while chopping food; to Wolf) All good, brother? 
[Wolf stares in shock from his first good deed.]
WOLF: (stunned; to Piranha) Yeah, all… a-all good. Yeah, yeah. Um… (splutters; on com) Webs, what do you say about moving on to step four?
TARANTULA: (on com; to Shark) Copy that. Shark, you’re up. Do your thing.
SHARK: (on com; gasps) Do I get to improvise?
WOLF: (on com; to Shark) Yes, fine. Improvise. But please be subtle.
SHARK: (on com; nods) Mm-hmm. 
[He spills his drink, throws the table away, and gets on the floor.]
SHARK: (high-pitched voice; to the crowd) I’m having a baby! Is there a doctor? Or perhaps several security guards that could leave their post and help me?
[Two security guards rush over to Shark. Once everyone notices his distress, Piranha pushes the cart to the security hallway with Wolf.]
BODYGUARD: (reads note; confused) “Fish surprise”?
[They lift up the lid to reveal Piranha.]
PIRANHA: (lying on the pan; to the guards) Surprise! (yells; leaps out)
[He leaps out and attacks them. Cut to black. Once they are knocked out, Wolf pulls out his phone. He pushes the tray of downed bodyguards aside and zooms in on the image to Diane's eye, though it's pixelated.]
WOLF: (on com; to Tarantula) Hey, Webs, can you enhance this…
TARANTULA: (on com; on cue) Done. (enhances the image; to Wolf) Eight steps ahead of you, Wolfie.
[They scanned the ID scanner and made their way to the Golden Dolphin.]
ANNOUNCER: (on mic; to the crowd) Ladies and gentlemen, your emcee for the Good Samaritan Awards…
[Shark breaths heavily during his ruse.]
WOLF: (over radio; to Shark) All right, Shark, we’re in.
SHARK: (normal voice; to the crowd) Oops, I forgot, I’m not pregnant.
ANNOUNCER: (on mic; to the crowd) …president of the committee, Governor Diane Foxington.
DIANE: (comes up to the stage) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. (the screen shows footage of the event. The meteorite crashes in the middle of the city. Footage briefly shuts off before reappearing, showing a huge crater in the middle of the city.) Last year, we faced our biggest test when a meteorite crashed into our dear city. That meteorite didn’t just make a hole in our city. It made a hole in our hearts.
CROWD: (sadly; staring at the scene) Aw.
[Shark sniffles among the crowd. He wipes a tear with his fin. On screen, as the people look over the crater, Marmalade comes in. A crane lifts up a meteorite and Marmalade tilts his head in curiosity, as do the people. Seeing it's shaped like a heart, they smile warmly.]
DIANE: (on mic; to the crowd) But even in tragedy, Professor Marmalade, he did what he does so well. He made us look at things differently. And thanks to you, Marmalade, the Love Crater Meteorite will forever serve as a symbol of how there is good even in the worst places.
[Backstage, Wolf and Piranha remove their disguises to reveal spy suits underneath.]
PIRANHA: (excitedly as he gets into his spy suit) Whoo!
[In their spy suits, the two made their way up with Snake coming out of the vent. They grabbed onto him.]
SNAKE: (groans; to the others) Hurry up.
[Piranha climbs up to grab Snake's tail and lowers the two down.]
DIANE: (on mic; to the crowd) …and successfully reversed climate change for the well-being of all of us.
WOLF: (smiles; as he is lowered) This is going surprisingly smoothly. 
[Suddenly, the ring flicks out of Wolf's sleeve and falls. It bounces off the trophy. As Wolf tries to grab it, the security system activates laser guns. Wolf scrambles to grab the ring with his feet and the lasers destroy a statue.]
SNAKE: (shocked; to Wolf) What the molt is that?
[Wolf sees a sign reading "Protected by WPSST Protection System."]
WOLF: (reads the sign; on com) The Wolf Piranha Snake Shark Tarantula Protection System.
TARANTULA: (on com; shocked) The WPSST?
WOLF: (on com; shocked) This was not supposed to happen.
SNAKE: (shocked; on com) What?
TARANTULA: (on com; to the others) Guys, calm down. I’m on it. (gets out a USB) Initiating WPSST override protocol. (chuckles as she inserts the USB to her laptop) Get it, queen!
[She gets hacking, but the computer buzzes.]
WOLF: (on com; to Tarantula) Did it work?
TARANTULA: (on com; to Wolf) Just give me five minutes.
DIANE: (on mic; to the audience) And now, please join me in welcoming to the stage…
SNAKE: (on com; to Tarantula) We don’t have five minutes.
DIANE: (on mic; points to Diane) …Professor Marmalade.
MARMALADE: (touched; to Diane) Aw.
[He gets off his table and walks to the stage.]
ATTENDEE: (cheers for Marmalade; to Marmalade) We love you, Professor Marmalade!
SHARK: (on com; to the others) The pig is on the move. I repeat, the pig is on the move.
[Backstage...]
WOLF: (on com; to Tarantula) Webs, Webs, the curtain’s going up any minute.
TARANTULA: (on com; to the others) It’s not letting me in.
WOLF: (on com; to Tarantula) Check your system preferences.
SNAKE: (on com; to Tarantula) You probably need to download a driver.
WOLF: (on com; to Tarantula) Try rebooting!
TARANTULA: (on com; sarcastic) Oh, my gosh. You fixed it.
SNAKE AND WOLF: (on com; smiling) Really?
TARANTULA: (on com; angrily) No!
[She hears a door rattle. She looks over to see the handle jiggling.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (impatient; jiggles the door handle; to Larry) Hey, Larry. Come on, open up. What did we say about locking doors?
TARANTULA: (scared; on com) Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Shark, I got a situation here.
SHARK: (on com; to Tarantula) Copy that. I’m on my way.
[Piranha's stomach churns.]
PIRANHA: (nervously; to the others) Hurry up, guys. 
[Cut to Tarantula cracking her knuckles.]
TARANTULA: (determined; smirks) Time to turn this baby on beast mode. (cracks knuckles and activates her keyboards) Eat it, WPSST! (starts typing away)
PIRANHA: (nervously; to himself) Please, not now. (whimpers; to Wolf) Wolf.
WOLF: (he and Snake get scared; to Piranha) Wait, wait, wait. No, no, Piranha!
[Cut to the stage.]
MARMALADE: (on mic; smiles) This award is for…
[Piranha's fart is heard offscreen. Everyone is confused.]
MARMALADE: (clears throat; on mic) As I was saying…
[Back to Piranha....]
PIRANHA: (gasps; as his gas cloud pours out) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[The gas cloud pours down the vents and into the computer room. Tarantula notices the smell and gas cloud and get angrily irritated while in a whisper.]
TARANTULA: (irritated and disgusted; to Piranha) PIRANHA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
PIRANHA: (apologetically; to Tarantula) Sorry!
[As she types faster, we cut back to the stage.]
MARMALADE: (on mic; to the crowd) And that’s why my Gala for Goodness will raise all the money needed for those less fortunate. 
[Tarantula types as fast as she can as the gas cloud pours in.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (offscreen; knocks on the doors) Come on!
[Tarantula starts holding her breath as she continues hacking. Outside, Luggins knocks on the door.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (impatient; knocks on the door) I’m starting to get mad here, Larry.
[As she gets out and searches through her keys, Tarantula is still in the process of hacking.]
WOLF: (on com; to Tarantula) Webs! Webs!
[She wipes her tears away, trying to avoid the gas. Cut to Diane on stage.]
DIANE: (on mic; to the crowd) And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
[The curtains start to open up.]
SNAKE: (nervously; notices the curtains opening) Whoa!
[The laser guns move closer and closer toward Snake and Wolf as they try to climb up. Tarantula's vision blurred and she started to faint as Luggins opens the door. As she's about to enter, Shark talks to her.]
SHARK: (high-pitched voice; to Luggins) Excuse me. Is this the ladies’ room?
CHIEF LUGGINS: (flustered; to the disguised Shark) Oh, uh, y-you need to take a right at the end of the hall, ma’am.
[Once the gas was released, Tarantula regained consciousness gasping and finished hacking.]
TARANTULA: (raises her arms in the air victoriously) Yes. Whoop-bam! (then notices a weGOTCHA asking if she's not a tarantula and she gets annoyed) Oh, come on! 
[She clicks X to confirm she's not to turn off the security system.]
DIANE: (on mic; to the audience) And now it is my honor to award Professor Marmalade with the Golden Dolphin! (Everyone looked to the stage and saw that the dolphin was gone.) No.
MARMALADE: (shocked; sees the trophy is gone) No.
SHARK: (normal voice; joyfully) Yes! (high-pitched voice; then) I mean, yes! (smiles; scurries off)
CHIEF LUGGINS: (confused; frowns) What?
[She opens the door, looks, and, on the screen, she sees that the golden dolphin his gone. She screams and runs off, closing the door without noticing the tied-up guard. Meanwhile, Diane tries to calm the crowd.]
DIANE: (on mic; to the crowd) Everyone, everyone, uh, please don’t panic. Just stay calm. I’m-I’m sure there’s an explanation for this.
[Wolf pushes through the crowd without being noticed.]
DIANE: (on mic; to the crowd) I repeat, uh, please do not panic.
[The others join Wolf as they prepare to leave the gala.]
WOLF: (smiles; to his crew) Nice work, everybody. Now, let’s make like a wolf and get the pack out of here.
PIRANHA: (smiles; to Wolf) Ah, wordplay. (then) I don’t get it.
[They walk their way toward the entrance. Marmalade runs and grabs the microphone from Diane. The spotlight follows Marmalade.]
MARMALADE: (grabs the microphone; to Diane) Diane, Diane, if I may… 
[He climbs to the stand to address the audience.]
MARMALADE: (on microphone; to the audience) You have to understand, I didn’t bring hope back to the city for an award. I did these good things because of how they made me feel. That tingly feeling I get. That shiver up my spine. The wag in my tiny tail. Because, you see, being good just feels so good. And when you’re good, you’re loved.
[Hearing this, Wolf becomes touched. Then, his tail starts wagging again. He yelps and tries to hide it while the others notice.]
SNAKE: (confused; to Wolf) Wolf?
SHARK: (confused; to Wolf) Wolf? What are you doing?
SNAKE, SHARK and PIRANHA: (in unison; to Wolf) Go!
[One man turns to see Wolf, whose fake mustache drops.]
MAN: (points at the Bad Guys; to the crowd) It’s the Bad Guys!
[The guests scream and Luggins shoves through.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (pushes through the crowd; to the officers) Arrest them! 
[The officers appear in all places. From the upper floors to the main floor.]
OFFICERS: (marching in) Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut.
[They surround the Bad Guys, who look shocked.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (points at the Bad Guys; to the crowd) They stole the Golden Dolphin!
WOLF: (tries to play innocent; to Luggins) Come on, you can’t prove that.
[The Golden Dolphin drops down from Shark's dress, proving Luggins right. Wolf and others watch awkwardly.]
SHARK: (high-pitched voice; to the trophy) My baby!
CHIEF LUGGINS: (grins; to the crew) On your knees, Bad Guys. (cracks her knuckles; prepares to apprehend them) With your hands up.
SNAKE: (hops out in defiance; to Luggins) Never! We’re out of here.
[Wolf fires a grappling hook at the ceiling. The hook reaches the top.]
WOLF: (confidently; to the officers) So long, suckers.
[The others get on Wolf. Unfortunately, the grappling line takes off with Wolf's pants. Everyone else is stunned. Wolf notices and smiles nervously.]
WOLF: (embarrassed; to the officers) Well, this just got a little weird.
[He grins sheepishly. The others stare bug-eyed. Piranha looks down at Wolf's boxers and at Wolf. A police siren is heard before cutting to the Bad Guys being escorted out of the gala to a SUCM truck as the news reports on this.]
TIFFANY: (reporting; to the camera) The Bad Guys go bust. The nefarious fivesome has finally been captured. And I, Tiffany Fluffit, am first on the scene.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (sentimental; to Wolf) Wow. You know, I-I just realized that I have devoted my entire adult life to putting you in jail. You are my purpose. Without you, who am I? (then; triumphantly) Ah, I’m just kidding. This is the best moment of my life! (smacks Wolf's back, he yelps) It’s the end of the Bad Guys. (waves her hand, pulls Wolf close to her and grins)
[Cut to the other Bad Guys being led into the truck. A cop opens the door, and Shark gets pushed into the back of the truck.] 
SHARK: (as he's pushed in; pleading) No!
[Piranha is thrown in with a mask on him by two officers.]
PIRANHA: (as he's held; angrily) Get your hands off of me! (screams as he gets thrown in)
[He gets thrown into the truck. Tarantula is in a glass jar, being put away by a scared officer.]
TARANTULA: (fighting inside the jar; to the officer) Ooh, you’re begging for a biting right now.
[She is set inside the truck. Snake is held by a grabber. He gets pulled in by another officer.]
SNAKE: (calling out; to Wolf) Wolf!
[Snake gets pulled away. Wolf has a sad expression. He looks down on his tail slowly wagging. He then looks over to Diane being interviewed.]
TIFFANY: (she and the reporters rush to Marmalade and Diane) Professor Marmalade! Madam Governor! Ooh, Professor Marmalade! Madam Governor! Madam Governor!
DIANE: (to the reporters) One at a time. One at a time.
WOLF: (smiles with an idea and slips out of Luggins's grasp; to Luggins) Excuse me.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (notices; to Wolf) Hey. Hey!
[Everybody turns to stare at Wolf.]
WOLF: (speaks to Diane and the crowd) Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to congratulate the governor here. I got to say, you really got us pegged. We’re just a deep well of anger and self-loathing.
DIANE: (chimes in; to Wolf) Denial.
WOLF: (offscreen; to Diane) Sure. That, too.
DIANE: (chimes in; to Wolf) Narcissism.
WOLF: (offscreen; to Diane) Yeah. Yeah.
DIANE: (chimes in; to Wolf) Emotional emptiness.
WOLF: (confirming; to Diane) So we’re on the same page.
DIANE: (offscreen; to Wolf) Hmm.
SHARK: (confused; to the others) What is he doing?
WOLF: (feigns sadness; to Diane and the crowd) Sadly, we were never given a chance to be anything more than second-rate criminals. If only there was someone who could help the flower of goodness inside us blossom. Some icon of love and forgiveness, like, uh, I don’t know, Mother Teresa. Best thing is to just throw us in jail for the rest of our hopeless lives.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (grabs Wolf; to Wolf) Yeah, that’s the plan.
WOLF: (resisting; to Luggins) Wait, wait, wait, no, no.
[Luggins tries to push him into the van, though he resists.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (annoyed; to Wolf) Get in there.
WOLF: (as she grabs him; in pain) Ow!
MARMALADE: (offscreen; to Luggins) Wait.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (shocked; to Marmalade) Uh, beg… beg pardon?
MARMALADE: (walks down the carpet; to the crowd) Mr. Wolf may be a savage beast. Basically walking garbage. (to Wolf; apologetically) Sorry, I’m making a point.
WOLF: (smiles to Marmalade; to Marmalade) Do what you need to do, pal.
MARMALADE: (to the crowd) But how can we say they’re hopeless if they’ve never been given a chance? What if… what if we tried a little experiment, Diane? As you know, my Gala for Goodness, the “hashtag charity event of the year,” is coming up. If I can prove to everyone at that gala that the Bad Guys have changed, will you set them free and give them a clean start?
[The crowd gasps in shock.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (shocked; to Marmalade) What? Professor Marmalade!
WOLF: (as she drops him; in pain) Ow!
CHIEF LUGGINS: (shocked; to Marmalade) No, no, no, no, no. Don’t you see what he’s doing? He’s playing you.
MARMALADE: (points to himself) But it was my idea.
WOLF: (confirming; to Luggins) It was his idea.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (shocked; to Marmalade) But only because you made him have it. (to Diane) Madam Governor, you can’t just let them go.
DIANE: (unsure; to Marmalade) Professor, I’m not about to put the safety of the city on the line for an experiment.
WOLF: (to Diane) Excuse me, Madam Governor. I seem to remember that a wise person once said, “Even trash can be recycled into something beautiful.”
DIANE: (chuckles softly; to Marmalade) Okay. I’m game. But only because it’s you, Professor.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (shocked; to Marmalade) No!
DIANE: (sternly; to Marmalade) We’ll hold on to the Dolphin until the gala. Just to remove any unnecessary temptation.
MARMALADE: (smiling; to Diane) Of course. Good thinking. That’s why you’re governor. Now that everyone’s happy…
CHIEF LUGGINS: (not happy; crosses her arms) Not happy.
MARMALADE: (proudly; to the crowd) …I, Rupert Marmalade the Fourth, will turn the Bad Guys into… the Good Guys!
[The people gasp while photographers take pictures. Wolf winks at his crew before uncuffing himself.]
WOLF: (smugly; to Luggins) I think these belong to you. (hands back the handcuffs to Luggins)
CHIEF LUGGINS: (irked; to Wolf) Hey.
[Wolf gets in the van.]
DIANE: (smirks; to Wolf) Not everyone gets a second chance. Make the most of it, Mr. Poodleton.
[He mimes tipping a hat to Diane before shutting the door. The SUCM truck drives off with the Bad Guys. Wolf chuckles to himself.]
SNAKE: (quizzically; to Wolf) Wolf? What are you doing?
WOLF: (offscreen; to Snake) What?
OTHERS: (quizzically; to Wolf) Yeah.
WOLF: (realizes; to the crew) Oh, that. (chuckles; smiles) I-I-I’m sorry. I thought it was, uh, obvious. We’re gonna go good.
TARANTULA: (confused; to Wolf) Uh, you totally lost me.
PIRANHA: (confused; to the others) I told him to stop drinking out of the toilet.
SHARK: (confused; to Wolf) Hey, did you get hit on the head?
WOLF: (frowns; to Shark) What? No, I didn’t get hit on the head.
SHARK: (frowns; to the others) My cousin got hit on the head with an anchor, and after that, he only swam in a circle.
WOLF: (explaining; to the crew) No, no, g-guys, guys, you’re not following me. We’re gonna pretend to go good. Just a few days with Marmalade. And then we roll into the gala as Good Guys and roll out scot-free with…
ALL: (realizing; smiling) The Golden Dolphin.
WOLF: (smiling; to his crew) You got it. Since when do we not finish a job? The Bad Guys become the Good Guys so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I’m saying?
[The others laugh for the genius plan.]
SNAKE: (smiling; to Wolf) Bad Guys acting good? It’s the ultimate Bad Guy thing. It’s fantastic. Wolf, you’re a genius.
[They continue laughing in joy.]
WOLF: (smiles; to his crew) It’s gonna be, like, the most relaxing con ever, like a vacation.
PIRANHA: (smiles; while swinging) Oh, oh. A con-cation.
[They laugh.]
SHARK: (offscreen; smiles) Ooh! My parents met on a con-cation.
[The SUCM truck drives off, flanked by police cars. Fade to black. The next morning, we come to Marmalade's penthouse. Inside, we see a statue of Marmalade lifting up a lamp that looks like the Love Crater meteorite with one hand. Then, we see Cuddles fixing up Marmalade's hair, putting a ring on his finger, and straightening his suit while the guinea pig hums. Then, the doorbell rings.]
MARMALADE: (smiles; giddy with joy) Oh, goody.
[They both head down. The door opens to let the Bad Guys in.]
WOLF: (chuckling; smiles) Wow.
TARANTULA: (looks around in awe; smiles) Big and fancy.
SHARK: (looks around in awe; smiles) Rodent’s got taste. Okay.
SNAKE: (looks around; smiles) Huh. Almost makes me want to be cute.
MARMALADE: (offscreen; to the Bad Guys) They say experience is the best teacher. And they are wrong. I am. 
[They see Marmalade and Cuddles standing by the statue and lamp.]
MARMALADE: (greets; to the Bad Guys) Good morning, students of goodness. And welcome to the first day of the rest of your best life.
PIRANHA: (refers to the meteorite; to Marmalade) A giant butt.
MARMALADE: (confused; frowns) Huh? (notices the meteorite) Uh, it’s-it’s not a butt. It’s a lamp... (claps his hands to turn on the light) in the shape of the Love Crater Meteorite, my greatest…
PIRANHA: (scratches his head) I wonder whose butt it is. (Shark gasps)
WOLF: (nervously; frowns) Uh…
MARMALADE: (grows irritated; to Piranha) Once again, it’s not a butt. Thank you. (claps his hands to turn off the light) It’s a heart. Now, as I was saying…
PIRANHA: (confused; to Marmalade) Then why does it have cheeks?
[The others shush him.]
SHARK: (quietly; to Piranha) Shut it!
PIRANHA: (confused; to the others) What? I’ve never seen a heart with cheeks.
MARMALADE: (scoffs; to Piranha) It’s not a…
PIRANHA: (blurts out; to Marmalade) Booty!
MARMALADE: (annoyed; to Piranha) It’s not a butt! Not a butt!
PIRANHA: (doesn't get it; to the others) Does he know what a butt is?
MARMALADE: (clears throat; to the Bad Guys) As I was saying, on the outside, the five of you are villains, predators, remorseless sociopaths.
SHARK: (smiles; to Marmalade) Oh, stop. You’re making me blush.
MARMALADE: (addresses the Bad Guys) But inside, there’s a flower… the flower of goodness… and when it blooms and you feel that tingle of positivity radiating through your body, you’re going to want to feel it all the time.
TARANTULA: (confused; to Marmalade) So we’re going for a tingle?
MARMALADE: (wags his finger; to Tarantula) Not any tingle. The tingle of goodness, which you’ll feel in my state-of-the-art Sharing Laboratory.
[He brings them upstairs to a table with two chairs.]
MARMALADE: (to Snake) Okay, Mr. Snake, (gets out a Push Pop) I’m going to give you a Push Pop.
SNAKE: (takes it; to Marmalade) Great! Push Pop just for me! (prepares to eat)
MARMALADE: (corrects; to Snake) No, to share.
SNAKE: (frowns; to Marmalade) Why?
MARMALADE: (explains; to Snake) Well, on a fundamental level, it’s about putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own.
[Shark is sitting at the table, chuckling.]
SNAKE: (refusing; to Marmalade) Oh, no. No way.
WOLF: (scoldingly; to Snake) Snake.
SNAKE: (groans; to Wolf) All right, all right.
SHARK: (grins; to Snake) This is going to taste extra sweet, ’cause I know how bad you want it.
[Snake hovers the Push Pop toward Shark.]
SHARK: (grins; to Snake) Pop me, please. (opens his mouth) Ah…
[He struggles to give it to Shark, so he pulls it back.]
SNAKE: (then; to Shark) Nope. (eats it and swallows; sneers) Sucker.
SHARK: (angered; to Snake) That’s it!
[He proceeds to grab Snake.]
SHARK: (grabs Snake; to Snake) I’ll teach you to share!
[He eats him, much to the others' shock.]
SHARK: (satisfied; pats his stomach) Mm, I like sharing. It’s yummy. Mm.
SNAKE: (inside Shark; smugly) Totally worth it.
MARMALADE: (shocked; to the Bad Guys) Well, that’s terrifying. Let’s try something simpler. 
[Cut to them outside on a sidewalk.]
MARMALADE: (addressing; to the Bad Guys) A good person always pays attention to the needs of others. Now, here’s a kindly, frail grandma.
[Wolf is dressed like a grandmother and the others laugh at him.]
MARMALADE: (addressing; to Piranha) Mr. Piranha, help grandma across the street.
PIRANHA: (scoffs; to Marmalade) Sure, sure, sure. I do this all the time. (to Wolf) Here you go, ma’am.
[They laugh as Piranha helps Wolf cross the street.]
TARANTULA: (disbelieving; to Shark, Snake, and Marmalade) Oh, he is totally gonna blow it.
PIRANHA: (stops and turns around; to Tarantula) What was that? What did you say? You think I can’t do this?
[He lets go of Wolf's hand, leaving Wolf in the middle of the street. Piranha angrily rushes toward the others while Wolf notices and grows scared.]
WOLF: (scared; to Piranha) No, no, no, Piranha!
[A truck drives by and runs into Wolf, sending him flying before falling down to the street. The others are in shock while Marmalade winces.]
MARMALADE: (wincing; to the Bad Guys) Maybe simpler?
[In the next scene, he leads the Bad Guys to a kitten stuck up in a tree.]
WOLF: (notices; to the others) Hey, look. It’s a cat stuck in a tree.
MARMALADE: (smiling; to the Bad Guys) It doesn’t get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
SNAKE: (guessing; to Marmalade) Eating it? This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me. (holds up two pieces of bread)
MARMALADE: (annoyed; to the Bad Guys) No. I want you to s…
WOLF: (quizzically; to Marmalade) Smack it.
SNAKE: (quizzically; to Marmalade) Skin it?
SHARK: (quizzically; to Marmalade) Stab it.
TARANTULA: (quizzically; to Marmalade) Sauté it.
PIRANHA: (quizzically; to Marmalade) Sing to it?
MARMALADE: (annoyed; to the Bad Guys) Save it. I want you to sa… That’s obv… It’s so obvi… I want you to save it.
ALL: (realizing; to Marmalade) Oh! Right, right. Right, right, right. Sure. 
[They all look at the kitten before sporting fangs and scary looks.]
ALL: (bearing fangs; to the kitten) Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[Scared, the kitten rushes up to the top of the tree.]
SNAKE: (frowns; looks up at the kitten) Whoa, that cat is obviously defective.
PIRANHA: (scoldingly; to the others) What is wrong with you? You’re gonna give it a heart attack. (scoffs) I’ll handle this.
[He climbs up the tree to reach the cat.]
PIRANHA: (climbs up; to the kitty) What’s up, papa!
[The kitten yowls and falls off the tree, landing on Wolf's face and attacking him.]
WOLF: (screams; to the others) Get him off my face! He’s on my face!
MARMALADE: (annoyed; to the Bad Guys) No, no, no, no, no, listen! Wh-What are you doing?
[The kitten gets off Wolf and rushes back up the tree. A rather annoyed Marmalade calms himself.]
MARMALADE: (annoyed; to the Bad Guys) Okay. What, may I ask, are you good at?
PIRANHA: (smiles; to Marmalade) Stealing stuff.
SHARK: (smiles; to Marmalade) Oh, yeah, we’re great at that.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Marmalade) Robbery.
TARANTULA: (smiles; to Marmalade) Larceny.
PIRANHA: (smiles; to Marmalade) Wire fraud.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Marmalade) Extortion.
WOLF: (smiles; to Marmalade) Tax evasion.
SHARK: (smiles; to Marmalade) Heists.
TARANTULA: (smiles; to Marmalade) Mail fraud.
MARMALADE: (perks up; to the Bad Guys) Wait. Heists, you say?
WOLF: (smiles; to Marmalade) Well, that’s… yeah, that’s kind of our specialty.
MARMALADE: (gets an idea; to the Bad Guys) I might just have an idea.
[Cut to people protesting outside Sunnyside Laboratories. They chant while holding up signs.]
PROTESTORS: (chanting) Free the pigs! Free the pigs!
[Marmalade's limo drives up on the other side of the building.]
MARMALADE: (to the Bad Guys; explains) That is an animal testing lab. Within, 200,000 helpless guinea pigs, all being poked and prodded by sadistic scientists.
SNAKE: (hungrily; to Marmalade) Guinea pigs, you say?
WOLF: (scoldingly; to Snake) Snake.
MARMALADE: (to the Bad Guys; explains) I want you to rescue them. But this is a heist for good, so I brought something more friendly for you to wear.
[Cuddles offers them onesies. Soon, the limo drives off without the Bad Guys.]
MARMALADE: (as the limo drives off; to the Bad Guys) Bye.
[The Bad Guys are now dressed in adorable onesies.]
TARANTULA: (not amused) Well, there goes our street cred.
PIRANHA: (admires his onesie) At least it’s comfy.
[They head off and look over the wall to see an open window with a scientist walking around.]
WOLF: (explains; to the crew) All right, we need to distract that scientist. (?; to Shark) Shark, you’re up.
SHARK: (nods; to Wolf) Copy that. (goes off)
WOLF: (smiles; to the crew) Okay. We’re gonna need a rope and a hook.
SNAKE: (beams in joy; to the others) I got this one.
OTHERS: (confused; to Snake) What?
PIRANHA: (shocked; to Snake) You’re volunteering?
TARANTULA: (shocked; to Snake) You’ve never volunteered for anything.
SNAKE: (grins; to Tarantula) Sure, I did. Right now.
WOLF: (confused; to Snake) Uh…
SNAKE: (excited; to Wolf) Throw me up there. Giddyap!
WOLF: (quizzically; to Snake) Really?
SNAKE: (lays his tail in Wolf's hands) Yep. I’m 99% sure you can make it.
WOLF: (smiles; to Snake) Okay.
[He grabs Snake and prepares to throw him.]
SNAKE: (excited; to Wolf) Let’s do it!
[Inside the building, Shark approaches a scientist, disguised as his father while having a baseball and a mitt.]
SHARK: (in disguise; approaches the scientist) Hey there, son.
SCIENTIST: (drops his clipboard and warms up) Dad?
SHARK: (in disguise; smiles) I know you’ve got an important job, but I hope you still have time for a catch with your old man.
[The scientist gasps in joy. SLAM! Snake missed the window. The scientist was about to turn over, but Shark turned his attention to him.]
SHARK: (in disguise; brings him close) Hey, kiddo.
SCIENTIST: (confused; frowns) Huh?
SNAKE: (offscreen; to Wolf) 96% sure.
SHARK: (in disguise; smiles) You’ll always be my special boy.
SCIENTIST: (touched; to Shark) Aw.
[Snake hits the window again.]
SNAKE: (groans; to Wolf) Maybe 90%.
SCIENTIST: (as he gets out of Shark's grasp; to Shark) I’ve been waiting my entire life for this moment. (hugs Shark)
SNAKE: (groans; to Wolf) I don’t know.
SHARK: (in disguise; to the scientist) Okay. Now, go long. (tosses ball down the hallway) 
SCIENTIST: (excited; to Shark) Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! Thank you, Daddy! (laughs as he follows the ball)
[Shark opens the window and grabs Snake, allowing the others to get in.]
SNAKE: (groans; to Wolf) 50… What day is it? Who am I?
MARMALADE: (over radio; to the crew) Right. The guinea pigs are locked behind a three-foot-thick steel door. The only way in is through the vents.
[Wolf opens the grate door.]
SNAKE: (slithers in; to the others) I got it. 
[He goes down the vents.]
SNAKE: (goes into the vents) Upsy-daisy. (sings as he slithers down the vents) Over the filters and through the vents...
SHARK: (shocked; to the others) I have never seen him so chipper. Has he been meditating?
SNAKE: (sings; while slithering) To Guinea Pig Land we… 
[He falls down and lands in a big room full of several guinea pigs. Snake sees this with excitement and hunger.]
SNAKE: (excited and hungry) Oh. (whispers; grins) Snake attack.
[Outside, a protestor sees Marmalade's limo arriving and tells the others. He gets out his phone.]
PROTESTOR: (sees Marmalade; to the others) Oh. Hey, look, it’s Professor Marmalade.
[The protestors cheer as Marmalade steps out to greet them.]
MARMALADE: (smiling; to the protestors) Yes, that’s right. It’s me. Help has arrived. Just keep your eyes glued to that door.
[Back inside, Wolf knocks on the door.]
WOLF: (impatient; to Snake) Snake. Come on, Snake. Open up.
[The door opens and Snake slithers out.]
SNAKE: (satisfied; to the crew) Relax. These doors are complicated.
[He pushes the door to reveal his stomach is filled up from guinea pigs.]
TARANTULA: (angrily; to Snake) Are you kidding me? (Snake chuckles)
WOLF: (angrily; to Snake) What do you think you’re doing? We’re supposed to save them, not eat them.
SNAKE: (satisfied; to Wolf) Well, I’d say they’ve gone to a better place. (belches, chuckles)
WOLF: (angrily; to Snake) All right, that’s it. 
SNAKE: (as Wolf grabs his tail; to Wolf) Hey.
WOLF: (angrily; to Snake) Spit them out.
[He spins Snake around, forcing the python to spit out the pigs.]
SNAKE: (yells; to Wolf) Hey!
[The others try to grab the guinea pigs as they run around.]
SHARK: (tries to save them; to the guinea pigs) We gonna save you whether you like it or not.
TARANTULA: (riding on one; to the guinea pigs) We’re saving you, you stupid hair balls.
PIRANHA: (pointing the other way; to the guinea pigs) Not that door. The other door.
SHARK: (upset; to the others) Hey, hey. (gets three guinea pigs stuffed in his mouth)
[One guinea pig slams onto a red button, lifting the door up.]
TARANTULA: (offscreen; riding on one of the guinea pigs) Whoa!
[Outside, Marmalade gets his phone ready to film the Bad Guys' deed.]
MARMALADE: (giddy with joy; to the crowd) Any second.
[The door opens to release all of the guinea pigs. Marmalade gets run over in the stampede. Then, the crowd sees the Bad Guys with Shark having some in his mouth and Snake spitting out a few more. They stop to notice.]
WOLF: (nervously; to the crowd) It-it’s not what it looks like.
[The alarm blares. Snake spits out one more guinea pig before it scurries off. They grin sheepishly. Soon, a picture of this moment is on the front page of The Daily Times newspaper read by Diane. She lowers it down to see the Bad Guys grinning sheepishly.]
DIANE: (angrily while holding the newspaper; to the Bad Guys) Trespassing, burglary, mayhem, assault with a deadly reptile? As if those poor rodents haven’t been through enough already.
MARMALADE: (pleading; to Diane) No, Diane, please.
DIANE: (sighs; drops the newspaper) Okay. I’m sorry, Professor, but I’m calling the chief.
[She walks off while Marmalade follows her, trying to convince her otherwise.]
MARMALADE: (pleading; to Diane) Please. Come on.
DIANE: (angrily; walks away) This experiment is over.
MARMALADE: (pleading; to Diane) Experiments take time.
[As they talk, Wolf turned his head to Snake.]
WOLF: (angrily; to Snake) You couldn’t help yourself?
SNAKE: (retorts; to Wolf) So I had a moment of weakness. Sue me.
WOLF: (angrily; to Snake) That’s gonna be difficult to do from prison.
TARANTULA: (worried; to the others) Guys, what do we do now?
WOLF: (gets an idea; to the crew) Hmm. Time to launch a charm offensive. (walks off)
SHARK: (grins; to Wolf) Oh, yeah. The full Clooney.
[Wolf approaches Diane and tries to charm her.]
WOLF: (tries to charm Diane) Madam Governor. Diane.
DIANE: (sees through it) Do not Clooney me, Wolf.
WOLF: (nonchalant; to Diane) Oh, I see what’s going on. You think I’m still a Bad Guy, trying to bamboozle my way to freedom. But we’ve changed. That flower of goodness is blossoming all over the place.
DIANE: (sighs; to Wolf) Don’t you ever get tired of lying?
WOLF: (chuckling; to Diane) No. I mean… (stammers; then) Fudge. That was… that was a trick question, right? (rushes over to Diane)
DIANE: (sighs; to Wolf) I gave you an opportunity… a chance to show the world that you’re more than just a scary stereotype… but you’re too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it. (approaches her limo and a man opens the door; pushes at Wolf)
WOLF: (offended; to Diane) Gutless? I’m gutless? (chuckles; angrily) Oh. I’m sorry, have we met? I’m the villain of every story. Guilty until proven innocent. Even if by some miracle we did change, who’s gonna believe us, huh? Of course you wouldn’t know anything about that, with your Little Miss Perfect power suits.
DIANE: (smirks; to Wolf) Is that so? (pulls out a ring)
WOLF: (notices in shock and searches himself) Wait a second. What did… How did you…
DIANE: (smirks; to Wolf) A wolf and a fox are not so different. (flicks the ring to Wolf) Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won’t, but it doesn’t matter. Don’t do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. Come on, what have you got to lose? 
WOLF: (unsure; to Diane) I dunno, my dignity? 
DIANE: (raises her brow; to Wolf) Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed. (Wolf shakes his head, a bodyguard opens the door to the limo, and Diane gets inside the limo; rolls down the window) Believe it or not, I’m rooting for you, Wolf.
WOLF: (quizzically; to Diane) So you’re not going to call the chief?
DIANE: (quizzically; to Wolf) I’ll see you at the Gala?
[She gets in her car and drives off. The gate opens to allow the limo to leave the penthouse. Wolf stares for a moment. Later that night. Wolf looked over at the ocean with a sad expression. A meow is heard nearby. He hears and turns around to find the cat's meow, coming from the tree. He took off his hood and started to head over to the tree.]
WOLF: (softly; to the kitten) I think we got off to a bad start. The name’s Wolf.
[The Cat whimpers.]
WOLF: (sadly; to the kitten) Yep. (sighs) I get that a lot. First impressions and all.
[The kitten tried to run but it falls when the palm tree breaks. Wolf catches it in time. He puts it back on the tree.]
WOLF: (warmly; to the kitten) Uh, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. I know you’re scared. I would be, too, if I were you. Just give me a chance. Truth is we actually have a lot in common. Don’t tell anyone, but I love a little scratch on the spot behind my ears. You know, right there. The best.
[Kitten backs away.]
WOLF: (warmly; to the kitten) Come on, kitty.
[The kitten follows and slowly gets petted. Then it leaps into his hands. Wolf's fur bristled up and he started to slide down off the tree.]
WOLF: (warmly; to the kitten) Yeah. (pets the kitten) Who’s a good kitty? Who’s a good kitty?
TARANTULA: (offscreen; shocked) Uh, Wolf? 
[The others had seen this in shock.]
TARANTULA: (shocked; onscreen) Um, you saved him?
MARMALADE: (offscreen; joyfully) Yes! 
[Wolf sees Marmalade filming this from a bush with his phone.]
MARMALADE: (chuckling; holds his phone) Yes. It’s working.
WOLF: (quizzically; to Marmalade) You-you filmed that?
MARMALADE: (shows them the video getting tons of positive likes and comments; to Wolf) Yes, and they’re starting to like you.
SHARK: (chuckling; joyfully) Yeah!
PIRANHA: (cheers; joyfully) All right!
MARMALADE: (joyfully; to the Bad Guys) This might just be enough to win over the guests at the gala.
PIRANHA: (cheers; joyfully) Now we’re talking!
TARANTULA: (cheers; joyfully) Yes!
SHARK: (cheers; joyfully) All right!
TARANTULA: (cheers; joyfully) Yeah, we did it! All right! 
[The others went back inside the penthouse. Marmalade approaches Wolf as he prepares to get inside with the kitten.]
MARMALADE: (approaches Wolf; to Wolf) Uh, Wolf? I must say, you’ve really turned a corner. You’re really getting it.
WOLF: (smiles; to Marmalade) Really? Oh, uh, thanks. (the kitten meows)
MARMALADE: (smiles; to Wolf) No, I mean it. And I can see it from tip to tail. (frowns; about the rest of the crew) It’s just a shame that you have to carry all that baggage.
WOLF: (frowns; to Marmalade) What are you talk… You mean the guys? 
[Snake stops to overhear the conversation.]
WOLF: (quizzically; to Marmalade) What do you mean?
MARMALADE: (frowns; as Snake watches) You have great potential, Wolf. But at some point, you're going to have to choose between your friends, or the good life.
[Wolf is unsure what to decide. Snake glares at this. Later, as the Bad Guys sleep, Snake, still awake, asks Wolf.]
SNAKE: (quizzically; to Wolf) Hey. You still awake?
[The kitten mews and Snake notices.]
SNAKE: (quizzically; to Wolf) You-you brought the cat in?
WOLF: (chuckling; to Snake) Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I’m just… I’m just saving it up for later. Why? What’s up?
SNAKE: (worried; to Wolf) I was just getting a little worried, since you’ve kind of become a…
WOLF: (quizzically; to Snake) Become a what?
SNAKE: (worried; to Wolf) You know, teacher’s pet. Getting all cozy with Marmalade. Your tail wagging and everything.
WOLF: (smiles; to Snake) Well, yeah, because it has to be believable.
SNAKE: (worried; to Wolf) Uh-huh. Yeah, I guess so. As long as it’s all part of the plan. (slithers over to Wolf) It is all part of the plan, isn’t it?
WOLF: (smiles; to Snake) Snake, buddy, who made the plan to begin with?
SNAKE: (thinks; to Wolf) You did.
WOLF: (smiles; to Snake) So I’m the one who sticks to the plan the most, right?
SNAKE: (frowns; to Wolf) Yeah, ri… Uh, yeah, ok… I guess that makes sense, yeah. But if the plan were ever to change, you’d-you’d tell me, right?
WOLF: (unhoods himself; to Snake) You have my word. (holds up his fist) Go bad…
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) Or go home. (bumps his head on the fist before slithering back to bed)
[The kitten nestles next to Wolf.]
WOLF: (asking; to Snake) Hey, Snake.
SNAKE: (quizzically; to Wolf) Yeah?
WOLF: (quizzically; to Snake) You ever wonder what it’d be like? The world loving us instead of being scared of us? You ever… you ever think about that?
SNAKE: (doubtfully; to Wolf) Loving us? (chuckles; smirks) Yeah, right. I don’t waste time thinking about stuff that’s never gonna happen. (sighs; excitedly) I can’t wait for things to get back to normal. (goes to sleep)
WOLF: (looks at Diane's ring then puts it away, unsure) Yeah. Back to normal, back to normal. (sighs)
[He stares up at the ceiling as the film fades to black. We then cut to a Channel 6 Action News Report the next night. We see Tiffany Fluffit at the Gala of Goodness, located at the crash site of the meteorite. The meteorite itself is on display behind the stage.]
TIFFANY: (on TV; to the camera) What up? We are just moments away from Professor Marmalade’s Gala for Goodness, where the legendary Love Crater Meteorite will be on display for the first time ever. 
[Cut to Marmalade's video of Wolf rescuing the kitten, with the headline "BAD GUYS BREAK INTO OUR HEARTS." Tons of people show this to others on their phones. Cut to Bad Guys smiling over the kitten. Cut back to Tiffany.] 
TIFFANY: (on TV; to the camera) But what everyone is really buzzing about is the Bad Guys, whose heart-melting rescue video has made them an overnight viral sensation. 
[We see a limo driving down the road. Inside, Wolf discusses the plan with his crew. They're all wearing fancy suits.]
WOLF: (to the crew; smiles) All right, guys, this is the big one. 
[Cut to the rundown on the plan. The Golden Dolphin is in a case with a keypad on it.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) The Golden Dolphin is inside a titanium case controlled by a randomly generated five-digit code, a code kept safe and secure inside a briefcase handcuffed to the chief of police.
[Transition to see Luggins holding the briefcase with the code inside. She stops at the bar and looks around for any sign of the Bad Guys.]
PIRANHA: (voiceover; aside) She’s not messing around.
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) The code is only accessible with her authorized fingerprints.
[Snake slithers by her without being noticed.]
SNAKE: (voiceover; smirks) Leave that to me.
[He opens the briefcase and gets the code.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) While Snake gets the code, Shark will secure the fake Dolphin.
[Shark grabs the fake Dolphin without anyone spotting him.]
SHARK: (voiceover; smiles) I like the sound of that.
[Then, Snake, Shark, and Piranha plant circuit jammers on the electrical boxes.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) Meanwhile, the rest of us plant circuit jammers.
[Cut to Tarantula on the DJ turntable, hacking through her computer.]
TARANTULA: (voiceover; explains) Allowing me to hack into the power grid.
[Cut to the Bad Guys onstage with Marmalade and Diane. Wolf gives a speech to the audience.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) At the end of the night, we toast the professor, “Blah-blah-blah, yada yada,” and when I say “Marmalade...” 
[He presses a button his remote and the lights shut off. The audience is shocked while the Bad Guys make their move.] 
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) Lights go out, and we’ll have exactly four seconds to make our move.
[Snake inputs the code on the keypad and the case opens up. Snake grabs the real trophy and swallows it. Shark puts the fake one up and the case closes.]
SNAKE: (voiceover; smirks) The old switcheroo.
[Lights turn back on and Luggins grabs the fake Dolphin to hand to Marmalade. As the crowd applauds, the Bad Guys wave goodbye and leave.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains) Chief hands Marmalade the fake Dolphin, we get our pardon, applause, applause, exit stage right, and by the time they realize what happened… 
[The screen turns on to show Wolf putting on sunglasses. Everybody notices in shock, including Luggins.]
WOLF'S VOICE: (over speakers; to the crowd) So long, suckers!
[Cut to the Bad Guys, wearing sunglasses, driving away to the sunset with the Golden Dolphin.]
WOLF: (voiceover; smiles) …we’ll be driving off into the sunset, legacy cemented.
[Cut to present day, the others laugh and agree to the plan.]
PIRANHA: (smiles; to Wolf) Nice.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) Got to hand it to you, buddy. You’re a real artist.
MARMALADE: (opens the door; to the Bad Guys) Well, Good Guys, this is it. Good luck out there. Remember, all eyes will be on you tonight, not me. (to the crowd) Friends, meet the Good Guys!
[The Bad Guys nervously step out and the crowd cheers for them. They're shocked by this.]
SNAKE: (confused; frowning) Uh, this is different.
PIRANHA: (confused; frowning) Is this a prank?
SHARK: (confused; frowning) What’s that sound? Like screaming but not terrified.
WOLF: (smiles; to his crew) All right, guys, let’s, uh… let’s mingle.
TARANTULA: (straightens her suit; confidently) It’s crime time, baby. (smirking)
[They walk around as a band plays "Fly Me to the Moon" by Julie London with a woman singing. One boy approaches a man for donation money.]
LITTLE BOY: (offers the box; to the man) Hmm?
MAN: (hands him money; to the boy) There you go.
[Shark looks around for the Golden Dolphin.]
SHARK: (looks around; determined) Okay, fake Dolphin, fake Dolphin, fake Dolphin. (spots it) Bingo.
[However, some people stop Shark.]
WOMAN: (clamoring; to Shark) Mr. Shark, Mr. Shark!
MAN: (excitedly; quizzically) Ooh! Is it true sharks can smell blood a mile away?
SHARK: (shocked; to the man) What? No. That’s freaky.
[Snake sees the case nearby, being guarded by Luggins as she closes it and gets out her binoculars. He snickers and slithers to the case. A few women corner Wolf as he grabs a glass.]
WOMAN #2: (excitedly; to Wolf) Oh, Mr. Wolf! Mr. Wolf!
WOLF: (chuckling) Hey. Whoa.
WOMAN #2: (excitedly; to Wolf) It is a pleasure to meet you.
WOLF: (smiles; to the woman) Pleasure is all mine.
WOMAN #3: (excitedly; to Wolf) I loved your video. Can I get a picture for my kids? 
[Wolf notices Diane among the crowd. She waves to him, and he gets nervous.]
WOLF: (nervous; to the ladies) Uh, hey, just a minute, guys. Let me… let me, uh… I got… I’ll be right back.
[As he goes off, Diane frowns. Through her binoculars, Luggins stares at Wolf in suspicion. Her sunglasses nearly fall off, but she keeps them back on.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (stares at Wolf suspiciously) Okay, Wolf, what are you up to? 
[As she spied on Wolf, she puts the glasses on top of the briefcase. Snake peeks out from behind the briefcase.]
CHEF LUGGINS: (stares at Wolf suspiciously) Yeah, with criminals like this, you got to be crafty, subtle, invisible. 
[Snake takes the glasses, breathes on it to show fingerprints, and scanned them on the case. It beeps and the briefcase opens. Snake prepares to grab the code.]
CHEF LUGGINS: (stares at Wolf suspiciously) And then the moment they let their guard down… whammo! (slams the case, crushing Snake's tail. This cause him to scream in pain but he covered his mouth by biting into his body) You gotta spring the trap! (chuckling) Always one step ahead. I think I’ve earned a tonic water. (to a waiter) Put it in a fun glass, huh? (the waiter serves her the drink) Oh! Nice.
[She grabs Snake, thinking him as the drink, making the others notice.]
TARANTULA: (nervously) Oh, no.
[The others tried to distract her by acting casual.]
WOLF: (acting casual; to Luggins) Hey.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (stirs Snake's tongue; to Wolf) That’s right. Be intimidated.
[The Bad Guys grin in fear. She moves Snake closer to her mouth, ready to drink. Snake shakes in fear. Wolf and Shark panic.]
SHARK: (panicking) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
PIRANHA: (sings) Look… at me.
[Everybody stops and stares at Piranha.]
SAXOPHONE PLAYER: (confused) What?
TRUMPET PLAYER: (confused) Hmm?
[Luggins grunts and moves Snake closer.]
PIRANHA: (sings) Tell me what… you see. 
[Shark nervously plays the cowbell. One band member nods to him.]
PIRANHA: (sings) Am I good… or bad?
[Wolf chuckles nervously while Tarantula gets to the turntable, scratching the record.]
PIRANHA: (sings) Don’t you judge… so fast.
[The crowd cheers, getting into the mood.]
PIRANHA: (sings) Hey, hey, hey, I know you think you know me. You’ve made your own conclusion. You think that I look scary.
[Chief Luggins groans and puts Snake down. Once he is safe, he gets the letter out to reveal the password before he gestured to Wolf who gestures to Piranha.]
PIRANHA: (sings) Well, that’s your own delusion. Listen when I tell you there’s more than meets the eye. So take a closer look to find a real good guy. We’re not the Bad Guys…
DIANE: (offscreen; to Wolf) Mr. Wolf.
WOLF: (turns around to see Diane; to Diane) Diane.
DIANE: (playfully; to Wolf) Yeah, what a surprise. You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think that you were avoiding me.
WOLF: (smiles nervously; to Diane) Avoiding you? Wh-Why would I do that?
DIANE: (nods; to Wolf) Okay. But I have to say, I’m a little disappointed. I was hoping you were gonna ask me to dance.
[Wolf was speechless and started to dance with Diane.]
PIRANHA: (sings) Get up on the floor. We’re gonna be good tonight. Wanna get you feeling right. We’re gonna be good tonight. We’re the Good, Good Guys. We’re gonna be good tonight. Wanna get you feeling right We’re gonna be good tonight We’re the Good, Good Guys Come on! Ooh… 
DIANE: (as she and Wolf dance; to Wolf) I see. You lost the sheep’s clothing.
WOLF: (spins Diane around; to Diane) Yeah. Figured it was time I got comfortable in my own fur.
[During the song, people donate tons of money.]
PIRANHA: (sings) If you’re feeling good in here… I said, if you’re feeling good in here… Oh, yeah!
DIANE: (runs her finger on Wolf's suit; to Wolf) I think I like the new you.
WOLF: (straightens his suit; to Diane) Well, that makes two of us.
PIRANHA: (sings) We’re all here to have a good, good time. Let the rhythm move you and open up your mind. Next time you see me in your neighborhood, don’t you be thinking that I’m up to no good. I just want you to give me a chance. I know your body really wants to dance. So leave your judgments…
[While Piranha sings on, Shark, Snake and Piranha place the devices on the power cables. Tarantula starts to hack down the code.]
TIFFANY: (reporting) Break out the umbrellas, because it’s raining money. All because of… I can’t even believe I’m saying this… all because of the Bad Guys.
PIRANHA: (sings) Wanna get you feeling right. We’re gonna be good tonight. We’re the Good, Good Guys. We’re gonna be good tonight. Wanna get you feeling right. We’re gonna be good tonight. We’re the Good, Good Guys, whoo…
[Everything started to muffle down.]
DIANE: (smiles; to Wolf) So, how does it feel to have everyone not fear you for a change?
[Wolf looks at his wagging tail.]
WOLF: (smiles warmly; to Diane) It feels good. Real good. Diane. (hands her back her ring) It belongs to you.
[Once the song unmuffles, Wolf and Diane head to the stage. Everybody dances to the music, even Luggins.]
PIRANHA: (sings) We’re gonna be good tonight. Uh-huh. We’re gonna be good tonight. Ah, one, two, three, we’re the Good, Good Guys. We’re gonna be good tonight. So good. Gonna get you feeling right. We’re gonna be good tonight. So good. We’re the Good, Good Guys. Oh, yeah…
[The song ends and the audience cheers. Wolf and Diane smile to each other. The total raises to $999,999,992. Marmalade comes out to address the audience.]
MARMALADE: (on mic; to the audience and Wolf) Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Wolf. As you know, the money raised tonight will be delivered tomorrow to schools, hospitals and other worthy causes across the city.
[The audience cheers.]
WOLF: (nervously; to the crowd) Uh… (clears throat; on mic) I just want to take a moment to recognize the one responsible for our new outlook. Our brilliant mentor, a paragon of enlightenment…
TARANTULA: (excited; to Wolf) Do it.
PIRANHA: (excited; to Wolf) Come on.
WOLF: (nervously; to the crowd) …the one and only Professor…
TARANTULA: (offscreen; to Wolf) Wolf, do it.
WOLF: (nervously; to the crowd) …uh, Professor… (his handshakes nervously with the detonator)
[Snake hisses in anticipation. However, Wolf refuses to press the button.]
WOLF: (nervously; to the crowd) …um… (he refuses to press the button; proudly) Professor Marmalade! 
[The crowd applauds while Snake is shocked. Luggins enters the combination to open the case and get the Golden Dolphin out.]
WOLF: (smiles; to Luggins) Chief, may I do the honors?
[Luggins hands it over to Wolf, who hands it over to Marmalade. The others are as shocked as Snake is.]
PIRANHA: (shocked; to the others) That’s not the plan.
TARANTULA: (shocked; to the others) What is happening?
SHARK: (shocked; to the others) He’s gone rogue.
[Snake watches in utter betrayal.]
DIANE: (smiles; to Wolf) A deal’s a deal. (proudly; to the crowd) By the power vested in me, it is a pleasure to grant the Bad Guys a full par…
[Suddenly, the lights go out. The crowd gasps and exclaims. Then, the lights come back on, but the meteorite is gone.]
WOLF: (shocked; frowns) That was weird.
MAN: (points at the empty pedestal where the meteorite was; shocked) The meteorite is gone!
[The Bad Guys are shocked. The meteorite was taken, but it wasn't them.]
MAN #2: (offscreen; shocked) Somebody stole it!
[The audience glares at the Bad Guys and Luggins stomps over to Wolf.]
WOLF: (nervously; to Luggins) Chief.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (angrily; to Wolf) Wolf. (growls)
WOLF: (nervously; to Luggins) Come on. You can’t possibly think that we did this. 
[Then, the screen turns on, showing Wolf putting on sunglasses.]
WOLF'S VOICE: (over speakers; to the crowd) So long, suckers!
SNAKE: (scared; to the crew) RUN! 
[The Bad Guys run away. Luggins tries to grab Wolf, but he avoids her and runs.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (points at the Bad Guys; to the officers) Get them!
[The officers rush after the Bad Guys. Wolf splits from the crew and grabs the charity map on the way. Wolf rushes to the bar, holds the map with his mouth, grabs two bottles, shakes them, and opens to knock some officers out with the corks and the drinks. He throws them aside to one officer before running off, dodging more. He comes to Diane and scribbles something in the charity map.]
WOLF: (in a hurry; to Diane) Here. (hands the map to Diane) Here.
DIANE: (confused; to Wolf) What are you doing?
WOLF: (in a hurry; to Diane) I’m giving it all back.
[He leaps up and walks across the officers, including Luggins. He nearly stumbles at the drinks but scrambles up to join the others.]
WOLF: (scrambling through; to the officers) Excuse me.
SNAKE: (quizzically; to Wolf) What happened back there?
WOLF: (scared; to Snake) I couldn’t do it.
SNAKE: (quizzically; to Wolf) What do you mean, you couldn’t do it?
WOLF: (scared; to Snake) I-I-I just… I… 
[Piranha stops and blocks their path.]
PIRANHA: (stops; to the others) No! I do not run.
OFFICERS: (marching) Hut, hut, hut…
PIRANHA: (defiantly; to the others) That is not how I roll.
WOLF: (nervously; to Piranha) Piranha, don’t do anything crazy.
PIRANHA: (laughing; to the others) Crazy is what I bring to the party, chico.
[He gets out the grappling hook and fires, only for the hook to fall down and bonk off Shark's head. Shark groans in pain before fainting to the ground. The others glare at Piranha in dismay. Soon, the Bad Guys are hauled off to the back of the SUCM truck as the news reports on this. Headline reads "LIFE IS NOT AT ALL LIKE A MOVIE."]
WOLF: (pleading; to Luggins) Hey, you’re making a mistake. We didn’t do it. I know we always say that, but this time it’s actually true.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (smugly; to Wolf) A-la-la-la-la. Can’t hear you. (singsong; as she leads him to the truck) Guilty, guilty, guilty!
WOLF: (pleading; to Luggins) Talk to Marmalade. We’re really good now. He’ll tell you. Professor!
[The door slams on the Bad Guys.]
TIFFANY: (reporting; to the camera) Tonight’s headline: Change is impossible. You should always judge a book by its cover, and all stereotypes have been affirmed. 
(Diane shakes her head in suspicion. Marmalade pushes through the crowd.)
MARMALADE: (pushes through the crowd; worried) Stop, for goodness’ sake! Let me speak to them. I’m-I’m sure there’s been some misunderstanding.
[The door opens to let Marmalade inside the truck.]
WOLF: (relieved; to Marmalade) Ah, Professor Marmalade.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (seriously; to Marmalade) You’ve got five minutes. No deals this time. (shuts the door)
WOLF: (pleading; to Marmalade) Y-You have to help us. Tell ’em. Tell ’em we didn’t do it.
MARMALADE: (sympathizing; to Wolf) There, there. Of course you didn’t do it. How could you? After all, you’re such a good boy.
[Hearing this, Wolf remembers everything from the gala heist.]
OLD WOMAN: (in flashback; warmly) You’re such a good boy.
MARMALADE: (in flashback; on mic) That shiver up my spine. The wag in my tiny tail.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (in flashback; to the officers) Arrest them!
MARMALADE: (in flashback; quizzically) What if we tried a little experiment, Diane? As you know, my Gala for Goodness…
TIFFANY: (in flashback; reporting) Where the legendary Love Crater Meteorite will be on display for the first time ever.
MARMALADE: (in flashback; to the Bad Guys) All eyes will be on you tonight, not me.
OLD WOMAN: (in flashback; warmly) You’re such a…
[Old Woman walks away. She pulls off her face to reveal she's Marmalade all along. Marmalade smiles evilly.]
MARMALADE: (voiceover; warmly) Good boy.
[Out of the flashback, Wolf realizes in shock.]
WOLF: (shocked; to Marmalade) You. It was all you.
TARANTULA: (confused; to Wolf) What are you talking about, Wolf?
WOLF: (pieces it together; to the crew) The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training… it was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
SNAKE: (confused; to Wolf) Whoa. Whoa, what old lady? And-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
[They see Marmalade, laughing evilly with his back turned and hair frazzled. He scratches the door.]
SHARK: (nervous; to the crew) Uh, guys? He's creeping me out.
PIRAHNA: (not facing him; to the crew) Wait, what? What's going on?! Someone turn me around!
MARMALADE: (evilly; to the crew) Well, well… So you finally get it! (turns around to sport an evil look) 
BAD GUYS: (shocked) What?
SHARK: (shocked; to Marmalade) You stole the meteorite?
MARMALADE: (evilly; to the crew) Oh, it’s not just a meteorite.
PIRANHA: (grins; to the crew) I told you guys it’s a butt.
MARMALADE: (annoyed; to Piranha) It’s not a butt! (takes a deep breath; explains) It’s the ultimate power source. 
[Fade to a flashback of the meteorite crashing in Earth. Later, scientists in hazmat suits arrive to check it out. A scientist touches it with a stick, and it emits a frequency. The scientist jumps back and drops his stick. The other scientists see the meteorite in awe.]
MARMALADE: (voiceover; explains) You see, when it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. 
[Nearby, Marmalade sees this and smiles evilly. Fade back to present day.]
MARMALADE: (evilly; explaining) I’m going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen.
TARANTULA: (to Snake; frowns) You should’ve eaten him when you had the chance.
SNAKE: (not amused; agrees) Yep.
WOLF: (crushed; to Marmalade) But why us?
MARMALADE: (evilly; to Wolf) Because you’re the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up “bad” in the dictionary, do they see a sweet, adorable guinea pig? No. They see you. And they always will.
SNAKE: (not amused; to Marmalade) Okay, fine. But you set us up.
MARMALADE: (chuckling; to Wolf) Oh, pish-pish. Let’s be honest… evolution set you up. But Wolfie here really clinched it. You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
SNAKE: (confused; to Wolf) Wolf, what’s he talking about?
MARMALADE: (coyly; to Wolf) Oops…Did I say too much? Anyhoo, looks like yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a Little Piggy.
WOLF: (growls; to Marmalade) You little pouchy-cheeked RAAAATTTT!!!!
[He lunges toward Marmalade while being held back. Marmalade kicks the door open to make it look like Wolf's trying to kill him. Marmalade pretends to be in a scared position. Wolf's red eyes flash. The other Bad Guys watch in shock. The people gasp and scream in terror.]
WOLF: (enraged; to Marmalade) I'LL KILL YOU!! YOU HEAR ME?!?! YOU'RE DEAD!!! YOU'RE DEA- (stops, his red eyes turn normal, looks up, and notices the scared looks on the peoples' faces)
MARMALADE: (plays innocent; to the crowd) Help! The Big Bad Wolf is attacking me!
[The crowd screams in terror as Marmalade pretends to be scared. Diane is shocked, and Wolf frowns sadly at Diane. Luggins angrily marches to the truck.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (angrily; to Wolf) Oh, now you are done forever, Wolf!
[Wolf looks crushed before Luggins slams the door shut. The truck drives off while Wolf looks sadly at Diane. Diane watches sadly before turning to see Tiffany interview Marmalade while he pretends to be scared.]
TIFFANY: (interviews Marmalade) Professor, Professor, any thoughts on how the Bad Guys managed to steal the meteorite in plain sight?
MARMALADE: (plays innocent; to Tiffany) Well, off the top of my head, perhaps they accessed the site previously and set up an intricate system of tunnels and trapdoors…
TIFFANY: (while interviewing; nods) Uh-huh.
MARMALADE: (plays innocent; to Tiffany) …that could be remotely triggered to suck the meteorite down into a holding area, but how should I know?
TIFFANY: (while interviewing; nods) Totally.
MARMALADE: (plays innocent; to Tiffany) I mean, they’re the deranged masterminds, not me. 
[Diane stares in suspicion. Something is off about Marmalade. Marmalade continues to chat with Fluffit. She walks away from the crowd, looks around, reaches into her purse, and checks in the charity map. She finds the spot circled in it. Later at the Sixth Street bridge, she drives a yellow FIAT 500 car to the spot. She goes down the tunnel and gets in the elevator. In the hideout, she finds the valuables.]
WOLF: (voiceover; to Diane) I’m giving it all back.
[Diane stares at the valuables. A wave transitions to the next scene, where the Bad Guys are on a boat that's taking them to a Super Ultra Crazy Max prison. A sad Wolf looks up and sees this through the window. It's a big and oppressive building. Then, the Bad Guys are lead inside in handcuffs.]
SHARK: (crushed; to the crew) I can’t believe we got double-crossed by a tiny rodent.
SNAKE: (angrily; to the crew) Oh, we got double-crossed by a rodent all right, but, uh, not a tiny one.
SHARK: (confused; to Snake) What?
SNAKE: (angrily; to the crew) This was supposed to be us conning Marmalade. It turns out it was Wolf conning us.
[A guard wrings Snake's neck, making him spew out stuff including a clock on the desk.]
SNAKE: (angrily; to Wolf) Does that sound familiar to you, Wolf?
WOLF: (as he's being searched; to Snake) Why-why would you think that?
SNAKE: (angrily; to Wolf) Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you just sabotaged the biggest heist of our lives. I think you owe us an explanation, buddy.
WOLF: (sighs; to the crew) Okay. You’re right. This is what happened. Back in the museum, I just tried to steal an old lady’s purse.
[He grins as he gets his mugshot taken.]
WOLF: (continues speaking; to the crew) Classic snatch and grab.
TARANTULA: (while putting her legs on the ink; to Wolf) Tried to? (a cop stamps her legs on the paper like ink prints; quizzically) Since when do you try to steal something and not just steal it?
WOLF: (frowns; to the crew) I was trying to steal the purse when the old lady fell and… (clears throat while a guard hands him prison clothes) I kind of helped her.
SNAKE: (confused; to Wolf) What?
[Snake gets his mugshot taken.]
WOLF: (as he changes clothes; to the crew) I kind of helped her.
PIRAHNA: (smiles; to Wolf) But then you stole her purse.
[Pirahna gets his mugshot taken.]
WOLF: (chuckling after putting on prison clothes; to Piranha) No, I didn’t. I saved the old lady, and she hugged me, and my tail wagged, and I didn’t know what it was, but it felt, uh, you know… good.
[Shark, Tarantula and Piranha gasp in shock. Snake just glares.]
PIRANHA: (smiles; to Wolf) Ah. But then you stole the purse.
OTHERS: (annoyed; to Piranha) NO!
SNAKE: (angrily; to Wolf) You know, I heard what the pig said to you about cutting us loose.
SHARK: (crushed; to Wolf) Wait. Like, “us” us?
SNAKE: (angrily; to Wolf) But I never thought you’d actually do it, man.
WOLF: (frowns; to the crew) Hey, hey, hey, hey. I-I would never… I was trying to… I was trying to find us a better life.
SNAKE: (angrily; to Wolf) Our life was perfect until you decided to ruin it.
WOLF: (frowns; to the crew) I didn’t. You guys felt it at the gala. The clapping, the cheering. We were more than… than just scary villains. They loved us.
SNAKE: (angrily; to Wolf) Oh, yeah? If they loved us so much, how come we’re in prison for a crime we didn’t commit? You know what? I’ll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is: a place where some people are scary and some people are scared.
WOLF: (angrily; to Snake) Oh, yeah? Well, I’m tired of being scary. I’m-I’m tired of being an outcast. Maybe I don’t want to be a…
SNAKE: (angrily; to Wolf) What? A Bad Guy? Don’t want to be a Bad Guy anymore, huh? Say it, Wolf. (Wolf says nothing) Yeah, I thought so. And us, your lifelong friends? We’re just holding you back?
WOLF: (angrily; to the crew) Yeah, maybe you are!
[The others gasp in shock and Snake is taken aback.]
SNAKE: (snarls and leaps onto Wolf, tying him up; angrily) TAKE IT BACK!
[Wolf and Snake proceed to fight each other. Snake wraps around Wolf's body, fangs and claws are bared, and Wolf tries to attack him. The others gasp.]
SNAKE: (while fighting Wolf; angrily) TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
[Guards rush in and break up the fight.]
FEMALE GUARD: (holding Snake back; to Snake and Wolf) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting.
[Suddenly, a guard drops down near them.]
GUARD #2: (groaning; to the female guard, points up to something) Tell that to him.
WOLF: (confused) Huh?
[They look up to see a lone figure. It leaped down and landed on the ground.]
WOLF: (chuckling) What?
[Guards started to attack him, but the figure kicked and punched the guards, throwing them aside and kicking them down. The Bad Guys watched as the Crimson Paw continued fighting.]
GUARD: (scared; to the other guards) Run!
[The figure grabbed a shoe and kicked it at the two guards. Then she locked them up.]
SHARK: (surprised; to the Crimson Paw) Oh!
WOLF: (backing away in fear; to the Crimson Paw) W-W-Wait, wait. Ho-Hold on.
[The Crimson Paw removes her hood to reveal she's actually...]
ALL: (shocked; to Diane) Diane?
PIRANHA: (shocked; to Diane) But how do you know how to do all of that kick-kick-punch-punch?
WOLF: (shocked; to Diane) Wait a sec, you’re the Crimson Paw?
[Diane grins while her Crimson Paw name flashes next to her. We see her in her business suit entering the shadows before emerging in her Crimson Paw outfit.]
WOLF: (voiceover; explains to the viewers) The queen of cons, acrobatic Swiss Army knife. Stole the Zumpango diamond twice. Once for profit, second time just for fun. Never identified, never caught.
[Cut back to present day.]
DIANE: (chuckles; to the crew) Guess I’m still the best bad guy the world has ever seen. (sees a blood cut on her suit) Ugh, at least I used to be. (rubs at the cut until the alarm blares, flashing red, she and the others notice. Diane puts her hood back on while the others turn around.)
TARANTULA: (notices) Huh?
[Tons of guards come out and surround them. The Crimson Paw leaps up and flies down. She holds her fist out. Cut to her and the Bad Guys leaving on a boat as the prison explodes behind them.]
DIANE: (smiles; to the crew) Nope, I’m still the best. Just like riding a stolen bicycle. (notices a small fire on Piranha's fin; to Piranha) Oh, uh, you got a little… (puts the flame out with her fingers; gets hurt) Ouch.
WOLF: (shocked; to Diane) Hey, wh-why did you save us anyway?
DIANE: (explains; to Wolf) After the gala, I knew something wasn’t right, so I did some investigating, and that meteor…
WOLF: (knowingly; to Diane) I know. Some kind of cosmic mega-super-antennae thing.
DIANE: (confirms; to Wolf) Right. If conducted through an array of ionized crystals, it will generate a massive psychokinetic field the size of a city. Oh, my gosh. Did I interrupt you? Were you gonna say that?
WOLF: (nervously; to Diane) Uh, I-I-I was gonna be a little more technical, but you got the gist of it.
[Diane chuckles. Soon, they make it back to shore. They get off the boat and Diane runs to an orange car parked nearby.]
DIANE: (determined; to the Bad Guys) Marmalade needs to be stopped, but I can’t do it alone. You know his compound better than anyone.
WOLF: (holds her hands; to Diane) You can count on us. (to the others) Right, guys?
SNAKE: (bitterly; to Wolf) There is no “us.” We’re through, Wolf. Done. Finito.
WOLF: (smiles; to Snake) Because of that little tiff back there? Come on, man, that’s what we do. You serve, I volley. That’s our little dance.
SNAKE: (bitterly; to Wolf) Not this time.
[Snake slithers away.]
WOLF: (sadly; to Piranha) Piranha? (Piranha walks away; to Tarantula) Webs?
TARANTULA: (sadly; to Wolf) Sorry, Wolfie.
WOLF: (chuckling; to Shark) Shark.
SHARK: (sadly; to Wolf) Hmm. (walks away)
WOLF: (sadly; to his crew) Hey. Guys? Guys?
SNAKE: (stops and turns to Wolf; bitterly) You want to know why I hate birthdays, Wolf? Do you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there I’m just a scary, good-for-nothing monster. (Wolf becomes sad at this) Yeah. But nothing compares to having the one guy… the one guy I thought I could trust stab me in the back. (?; to the others) Come on, guys. Let’s get out of here.
[The others leave Wolf. Then, as Diane drives the car, Wolf stares out the window in depression. We see Snake slithering away while the others walk sadly. Wolf curses to himself, though we don't hear him. Diane looks at him in sadness while he stares out the window. The car drives down the highway. At Marmalade's home, Cuddles pilots the helicopter above and flips a switch. The roof opens up as the meteorite is lowered down. Three mechanical arms link it to a machine, siphoning energy from it. Marmalade, now in a golden jumpsuit, turns on his mind control helmet.]
MARMALADE: (evilly; puts on the helmet) Now, this is what a true bad guy looks like.
[He uses the helmet to control a guinea pig. He moves him with his body like a puppet.]
MARMALADE: (grins evilly; to the guinea pig) What do you say we have some fun?
[He pushes the lever up to high and laughs evilly as the meteorite surges and unleashes a shockwave that spreads across the land. In a house, two guinea pigs are affected, with one knocking the bowl of carrots off a little girl's hand. She screams while the two escape. Another guinea pig is brainwashed, riding off on a boy's skateboard. Then, two more emerge from the sewer, followed by tons more climbing down an apartment building and leaving their cages in the pet store. They swarm down the streets, leaving people astonished. Meanwhile, Wolf and Diane arrive at a house, with the former still staring off in depression.]
DIANE: (quizzically; to Wolf) Hey. You okay?
WOLF: (sadly; to Diane) No, I’m not okay. I’m very, very un-okay. (grumbles) Just left the only friends I have ever had, so what am I… (sighs) what am I doing?
DIANE: (sighs; to Wolf) I know this isn’t easy, leaving everything behind.
WOLF: (sadly; to Diane) Do you?
DIANE: (smiles; to Wolf) Yeah. I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. 
WOLF: (smiles; to Diane) The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.
DIANE: (smiles; explains) I didn’t just go after it. 
[Fade to a flashback of Diane as the Crimson Paw. Lasers surrounding the Golden Dolphin shut off.]
DIANE: (voiceover; explains) I had it. And a clear escape route. 
[As she grabs the trophy, she stops to look at herself in the reflective wall.]
DIANE: (voiceover; sadly) But… (as her past self unhoods) all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. 
[Diane feels guilty. She then puts the trophy back on the pedestal and runs off as lasers turn back on.]
DIANE: (voiceover; explains) It changed everything. 
[Fade back to present day.]
DIANE: (smiles; to Wolf) So, now, instead of hurting people, I’m helping them. (sighs; softly) I’m still me. (chuckles, looks to Wolf and smiles warmly) I’m just me on the right side. You’re doing the right thing. And someday your friends, if they’re real friends, I think they’ll understand. Now, come on, let’s get inside. You look like you just busted out of a prison.
[Suddenly, a small guinea pig slammed onto the car roof, startling them. It looks around before scurrying off.]
DIANE: (confused; noticing) Guinea pigs? 
BOTH: (eyes widened; realizing) Marmalade.
WOLF: (determined; to Diane) Let’s bounce.
[They enter the house. Wolf looks around as they enter the kitchen.]
WOLF: (looks around; to Diane) So, this is the hideout of the great Crimson Paw.
[Diane heads to the counter and started typing onto the microwave.]
WOLF: (as she types; to Diane) Snack break? Okay, oddly timed, but you do you.
[As he leans on the fridge, the door opens, and he nearly falls. He yelps in surprise.]
AUTOMATED VOICE: (as the door opens) Identity verified.
WOLF: (shocked; eyes widen) What?
AUTOMATED VOICE: (on computer) Welcome, Diane.
[Diane pulls Wolf in and tidies his suit. They enter the elevator to reveal an amazing spy room.]
WOLF: (amazed; looks at the entire room) Whoa! Holy moly!
DIANE: (laughs and sighs) It’s so good to be home.
WOLF: (amazed; to Diane) Are you kidding me? Laser-sighted zip line? The XM-2400 radar jammer? No way.
DIANE: (while sitting on the keyboard; to Wolf) I actually prefer the earlier model.
WOLF: (grins; to Diane) Agree to disagree. (grabs lipstick) Uh, this stuff is nice, too.
[He plays with the lipstick until it ignites like a blowtorch. He screams.]
DIANE: (refers to the lipstick; to Wolf) Yeah, that’s a blowtorch. Also, not really your color.
[Wolf quickly shuts it off and Diane activates her computer.]
DIANE: (activates her computer) All righty, Marmalade. What are you up to, you fuzzy little weirdo? We need eyes on the city. Let’s see if we can’t hack into the government’s surveillance satellite.
WOLF: (frowns; to Diane) But you’re the governor. Couldn’t you just ask?
DIANE: (smiles; to Wolf) Yeah, but… (splutters) the paperwork. I am definitely picking up on suspicious activity here. Those are guinea pig heat signatures. Marmalade seems to be controlling them. But to do what? There are no obvious targets.
WOLF: (holds up a map; to Diane) That’s because they’re moving targets.
DIANE: (gasps) His charity fundraiser. He’s gonna steal the money raised in his own name?
WOLF: (amazed) It’s the greatest heist the world’s ever seen. $1 billion inside trucks, on their way to charities all over the city.
DIANE: (gets an idea; to Wolf) We need to cut off Marmalade’s communication with his guinea pig army.
WOLF: (grins) If there’s no signal…
DIANE: (smiles) There’s no heist.
BOTH: (realizing) We have to steal the meteorite.
WOLF: (smirks; to Diane) That was very cute, that thing we just did there.
DIANE: (smiles; to Wolf) All right. Put on your big-girl pants. We’re gearing up.
[She tosses him his clothes and they suit up.]
WOLF: (as Diane grabs a grappling hook; to Diane) I wouldn’t take that. Those things rip your pants right off.
DIANE: (grins; to Wolf) Huh. Try wearing clean underwear. Just in case.
WOLF: (sees she has his car; amazed) Wha… you stole my car? Respect. Let’s do this.
[They drive out of the garage and the house, racing down the street. Meanwhile, Snake and the other Bad Guys had returned home, only to find that their stuff is gone.]
SHARK: (shocked; sees his stuff missing) No!
SNAKE: (shocked; sees his stuff missing) What?
PIRANHA: (shocked; sees his stuff missing) All our stuff?
TARANTULA: (shocked; as she looks around) Oh, no.
SNAKE: (shocked; as he looks around) Where is everything?
PIRANHA: (runs around; panicking) No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
SHARK: (looks around; shocked) All our stuff.
SNAKE: (slithers up a support beam; shocked) It’s all gone.
SHARK: (sees empty coat hangers; shocked) My disguise closet!
TARANTULA: (looks around; panicking) Where’s my things?
[Shark looks through the hangers but no disguises. Piranha digs through one box while Snake checks another before throwing it away.]
SNAKE: (angered; to the crew) Wolf gave away all our loot. We stole it fair and square.
PIRANHA: (sadly; to the crew) Now I understand what it feels like to have things stolen from you. (shuddering breaths) I don’t like it! I really don’t like it! (whimpers)
[As Snake checks around, he sees the photos on the fridge, showing good times with Wolf. He groans before opening the fridge door to find a Push Pop to his surprise. He wonders how it's there before clutching it in anger.]
SHARK: (sobbing; to the crew) We got no food. We got no money. We got no money we could use to buy food. No food we can sell for money. (grunts) We… (sobs)
[Seeing this, Snake sighs and slithers over to Shark.]
SNAKE: (relents; to Shark) All right, okay, okay. (gives him a Push Pop) Here, here. Take it. (feeds Shark the Push Pop) Now, stop crying, buddy.
[Shark sucks on the Push Pop before sighing relief. Tarantula and Piranha are shocked by Snake's good deed.]
TARANTULA: (shocked; to Snake) Um, Snake, what did you just do?
SNAKE: (as he looks in the fridge; to the crew) What? My friend was sad. I was just cheering him up.
SHARK: (shocked; to Snake) You… you did a good thing. For me.
SNAKE: (frowns; to the crew) Don’t be ridiculous. I just put your needs before my own.
TARANTULA: (shocked; to Snake) Yeah. You’re being good.
SNAKE: (frowns; to the crew) I’m not. I was simply making a sacrifice so Shark could be happy.
TARANTULA: (shocked; to Snake) That is the actual definition of being good.
SHARK: (shocked; to Snake) Snake, you, the worst one of us, the most selfish.
TARANTULA: (shocked; to Snake) Spiteful.
SHARK: (shocked; to Snake) Terrible.
PIRANHA: (shocked; to Snake) Sneaky.
TARANTULA: (shocked; to Snake) Dishonest.
SHARK: (shocked; to Snake) Insensitive.
TARANTULA: (shocked; to Snake) Manipulative.
PIRANHA: (shocked; to Snake) Snakelike.
SHARK: (shocked; to Snake) Stanky.
SNAKE: (quizzically; to the crew) And your point is?
TARANTULA: (realizes; amazed) I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
[Her thorax starts wagging, followed by Shark and Piranha's fins wagging.]
SHARK: (sees his fin wagging; shocked) Wh…?
TARANTULA: (her thorax wags; amazed) Oh, wow. Is this… is this wagging? We’re-we’re wagging.
[Snake's tail starts wagging as well. He notices and tries to stop it from wagging.]
SNAKE: (stubbornly; to the crew) No, no, no! We’ll always be Bad Guys!
[He slams the fridge door shut, knocking down all but one photo. He slithers away to the elevator in anger. The door closes behind him. Meanwhile, the mind-controlled guinea pigs run down the street, startling a man. We see tons of charity trucks driving down the road as the guinea pigs go after them. In his penthouse, Marmalade and Cuddles watch in wicked glee.]
MARMALADE: (laughing maniacally; to the guinea pigs) Faster, faster, my little pigs.
[One truck was about to reach a children's hospital with a man cutting the red ribbon with scissors. Suddenly, the truck thumps and the driver stops to see he's run over a guinea pig. The children gasp. Then, it pops back to normal before being joined by others. They swarm into the truck and kick the driver out before driving away. The children instantly cry. Marmalade laughs evilly. Another truck approaches a school. As the driver waves to the students, a guinea pig appears and attacks. More swarm in and cast her out with the driver landing in the teacher's arms. The truck drives away. Soon, more mind-controlled guinea pigs throw out drivers and take over their trucks. They drive wildly through town. Cut to Wolf and Diane arriving near the penthouse.]
DIANE: (looks at the penthouse; explains) Once we steal the meteorite, we take it straight to the police.
WOLF: (smiles; chimes in) And all will be forgiven.
DIANE: (unsure; to Wolf) I don’t know about “all,” but it’s a start.
[They climb over the fence, hide behind a tree, climb up the building, and open the hole in the roof. Using rope, they lower themselves down to the lab. As they reach the floor, Wolf sees the Golden Dolphin sitting by.]
WOLF: (confused; noticing the trophy) That’s strange. Why would Marmalade leave the Golden Dolphin unprotected?
DIANE: (knows what it is; to Wolf) Because maybe it’s a trap.
WOLF: (approaches the trophy; curiously) Or maybe…
DIANE: (tries to stop Wolf; panicking) Wait, wait, wait!
[When he grabs it, they both get zapped. Cut to black. Cut to them hanging upside down while tied up.]
WOLF: (then; to Diane) Yeah, it was a trap.
MARMALADE: (sneers; as he walks in) Well, well, well. If it isn’t my prized pupil. And you’ve brought along the governor. Or should I say… the Crimson Paw? (gets out Diane's ring) Mm, what an ingenious way to disguise a Zumpango diamond, (grabs the diamond from the ring) hiding it in plain sight.
WOLF: (shocked) You got to be kidding me.
DIANE: (retorts; to Wolf) What? I’m sentimental.
MARMALADE: (sneers) You always did have panache. And yet, you still fell right into my trap.
WOLF: (confused; to Marmalade) But how did you know we’d even be here?
MARMALADE: (sneers; to Wolf) Oh, I got a little tip from a friend.
[The door opens to let in Snake.]
SNAKE: (smirks; to Wolf) Hey, buddy. How’s it hanging?
WOLF: (glares; to Snake) Snake.
SNAKE: (chuckles; to Wolf) What can I say? We just clicked.
WOLF: (glares; to Snake) Oh, yeah? How’s it feel to be working for your favorite food?
SNAKE: (sneers; to Wolf) Ah, you’re just jealous to be missing out on the heist of the century. It’s got everything: betrayal, a meteor, mind control. (to Marmalade) Can I try it on?
MARMALADE: (hands over the helmet; to Snake) Of course, partner.
SNAKE: (puts it on; to Marmalade) Nice. All the crime with none of the exercise.
[As Snake uses the helmet...]
WOLF: (to Marmalade; to Wolf) What about all that “flower of goodness” talk? Was it all just a lie?
MARMALADE: (gleefully; to Wolf) Uh, pretty much, yeah. You see, I never cared about what's "good", only what's good for me! Like, say, a billion dollars! (his body tingles) Oh, I just got a tingle. (he and Snake laugh)
SNAKE: (sneers; to Marmalade) Go bad…
MARMALADE: (they fist-bump; to Snake) Or go home. (as they leave; to Cuddles) Cuddles, finish them.
[The door closes and Cuddles pulls the lever, lowering Wolf and Diane as the floor door opens to show tons of sharp blades. The two scream in horror. Suddenly, a green fog pours into the room.]
DIANE: (yelps; scared) Poison gas. Don’t breathe it in.
[They held their breath]
WOLF: (sniffs; realizes) Wait a second. That’s not poison gas.
[Cuddles retches from the smell and faints.]
PIRANHA: (offscreen; apologetically) Sorry!
[Wolf gasps to recognize the voice. Then, the grate opens to let out Piranha, Shark, and Tarantula, with the latter two gasping for air.]
PIRANHA: (smiles; to Wolf) Surprise! (laughs)
WOLF: (joyfully; to his crew) What? Ah, guys. I can’t believe it’s you.
TARANTULA: (smiles; to Wolf) You were right, Wolfie.
SHARK: (as his fin wags; joyfully) We felt the wag, man.
PIRANHA: (offscreen; to Wolf) And the tingle.
WOLF: (grins; to his crew) It’s good, right?
DIANE: (chuckles; to the crew) This is super moving, but can we do this later?
SHARK: (joyfully; as his fin wags) Feels like I got a rhythm section in my fin. (beatboxing)
PIRANHA: (chimes in on the beat) Ah, ah!
DIANE: (scared; to the crew) Ugh. Come on. Spinning blades!
SHARK: (realizes; to Diane) Oh, yeah. Right.
[Tarantula pushes the lever up.]
TARANTULA: (pushing it up; to the crew) Sorry. I got it. (it nearly tips down)
[The rope is lifted up and the door closes before Wolf and Diane are dropped.]
WOLF: (joyfully; to his crew) Guys… (breaks out of his bonds to hug the others) Am I happy to see you. (sighs) Now it’s time to huff and puff and blow this little piggy’s heist down.
TARANTULA: (grins) Game over, guinea pig.
[Meanwhile, we see Marmalade and Snake walking down the hall.]
MARMALADE: (evilly; to Snake) With this meteorite, we will be able to commit crimes people have only dreamed about.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Marmalade) Not bad for a butt rock.
MARMALADE: (annoyed; to Snake) Once again, it’s not a…
[He presses a button to open the door, only to see Diane and the Bad Guys with the meteorite being held by Shark. He gasps in shock.]
WOLF: (smirks; to Marmalade) Don’t mind us. Just robbing this place. (chuckles)
[Shark throws the rock to their car, and they drive away with it.]
MARMALADE: (shocked) No, no, no!
[They drive out of the garage, only for Wolf to stop and drive backwards to park at the palm tree. Wolf calls out to the kitten.]
WOLF: (calling out; to the kitten) Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[The kitten jumps and lands in Wolf's arms. He sets him down and puts sunglasses on him. Then, he drives the car through the gate and down the road. They arrive at the city as the others cheer.]
TARANTULA: (cheering) All right!
SHARK: (cheering) We did it!
DIANE: (smiles; to the Bad Guys) Now to get this thing to the chief and clear your names.
SHARK: (smiles) Weird. Usually, we drive away from the police.
PIRANHA: (quizzically) Hey, chico, are you sure we stopped the heist?
WOLF: (smiles; to Piranha) Yeah.
DIANE: (reassures; to Piranha) Relax. Marmalade can’t control them if he doesn’t have the meteorite.
PIRANHA: (points up at the trucks) So, who’s driving those trucks?
[They look up at the upper lane to see the trucks driving off with the stolen money. Fox and Diane look back to see them piloted by mind-controlled guinea pigs.]
DIANE: (offscreen) The meteorite.
WOLF: (notices the meteorite glowing) It’s still transmitting.
SHARK: (pops out) Uh-oh.
WOLF: (gets back in the car) The charity money. Change of plan, guys. Webs, is there some way to override the truck’s navigation system?
TARANTULA: (gets out her laptop; to Wolf) Uh, we’d need some kind of magnetized cross-circuit interceptor.
DIANE: (smirks; to Tarantula) You mean this? (gets out a device)
SHARK: (amazed; to the others) Ooh! She just keeps getting cooler!
WOLF: (amazed; to Diane) Oh, yeah!
[They drive around to follow the trucks. They got between two trucks and Diane tries to plant the device on one, but one of the trucks knock the van. Diane loses the device.]
WOLF: (while driving; frantically) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
[They look around to see more vans.]
DIANE: (worries; to the crew) Oh no. We gotta split up. (grabs her briefcase, to Tarantula) Webs, you feel like a girl’s trip?
TARANTULA: (excited, closes her laptop; to Diane) Um, yes.
[Then, we see Diane don her Crimson Paw persona as Tarantula holds on to her back.]
TARANTULA: (grins; to the boys) Later, boys. (laughs)
[“Go” by The Chemical Brothers plays as Diane leaps off the meteorite, converts her briefcase into a motorcycle, gets on as it lands, and drives off with Tarantula.]
PIRANHA: (bummed; to the others) I want to go on the girls’ trip.
[They continued on driving as Webs fired her laptop. Diane throws the devices onto each car.]
TARANTULA: (excitedly) Woo-hoo!
[As they drive, we cut back to the Bad Guys. Shark nods and Piranha laughs as he gets out more devices.]
SHARK: (asks Wolf) You’re insured, right?
WOLF: (confused; to Shark) Yeah. Why?
[He pushes against the sunroof and breaks it off.]
WOLF: (exclaims; to Shark) Hey! That’s my car!
PIRANHA: (excitedly) It’s ceviche, baby! (laughs)
[Shark throws Piranha onto the road as he runs across, putting each device on the trucks as Diane did her job. He dodged and managed to get onto the front where he placed the device on the windshield.]
WOLF: (grins; to the guinea pigs) So long, suckers.
[He licks the device onto the trucks' windshield.]
TARANTULA: (excitedly) Whoop-bam!
[She taps a button, causing all of the trucks to stop. Then the trucks started to move by themselves.]
DIANE: (amazed; to Tarantula) How did you learn to do that?
TARANTULA: (smiles; to Diane) Oh, you know. I'm kind of a natural... mostly YouTube.
[They ride up to Wolf's car and Diane gets Tarantula back to her crew.]
WOLF: (smiles; to Diane) Nice work.
DIANE: (smiles; to the crew) Meet me at the police station. (singsongy) Don’t be late. (rides off)
WOLF: (to his crew) What do you say we deliver this butt rock to the chief?
TARANTULA: (smiles; to Wolf) Yeah.
[As they drive off, the trucks return the stolen money to their respective places. Two women are speaking to a cop when some money is dropped out near them while a guinea pig runs off.]
WOMEN: (amazed) Oh. (laughs)
[Marmalade notices this in shock and anger.]
MARMALADE: (angrily) No, no, no, no! That’s my stolen money. (to Snake) What good are you if you can’t even anticipate their next move?
SNAKE: (angrily; to Marmalade) Oh, so it’s my fault?
MARMALADE: (angrily; to Snake) Yes.
[Diane changes to her business outfit, gets off her motorcycle, which converts into a briefcase for her to grab, and approaches Luggins as she arrives at the police station, where the news crew is also there.]
DIANE: (to Luggins) Chief!
CHIEF LUGGINS: (sternly; to Diane) This better be good.
DIANE: (smiles; to Luggins) Trust me. You don’t want to miss this.
TIFFANY: (gasps) Look! 
[They see the Bad Guys coming to the station.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (shocked) Well, butter...my...crumpets...
TIFFANY: (amazed; to the camera) Can it be?? The Bad Guys are returning the meteorite! Perhaps this is the feel-good story we all need!
PIRANHA: (cheers) Woo-hoo! Yeah!
SHARK: (cheers) Woo-hoo!
TARANTULA: (cheers; to the crew) All right! Do you guys think they’ll throw us a party?
PIRANHA: (joyfully) Yeah. With fireworks, piñatas and cake.
[However, they stop to notice the empty seat with the birthday hat lying there. The other Bad Guys look to Wolf, all of them feeling sad. The car stops near the station and Wolf gives a look of regret to Diane before making a decision.]
WOLF: (sighs; to the crew) We can’t do this without him.
SHARK: (sadly) He might be a Mr. Grumpy Pants…
TARANTULA: (sadly) But he’s our Mr. Grumpy Pants.
PIRANHA: (sadly) Yeah.
[He drives the car away from the police station, much to Diane's dismay.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (angered; to Wolf) Wolf!
[As the Bad Guys drive after the helicopter, Marmalade and Snake argue.]
MARMALADE: (angry; to Snake) I’m starting to see why your friends dumped you.
SNAKE: (angry; to Marmalade) I don’t have any friends!
[They hear the car honking and look down to see the Bad Guys.]
WOLF: (calling out; to Snake) Snake! Snake!
SNAKE: (sees Wolf; to Wolf) Wolf?
WOLF: (calling out; to Snake) Snake, come back!
SHARK: (calling out; to Snake) We need you, baby!
TARANTULA: (calling out; to Snake) And you need us!
MARMALADE: (angrily; to the crew) Oh, there you go again, making it personal. I'LL GIVE YOU ONE LAST CHANCE TO GIVE ME THE METEORITE!!!
PIRANHA: (taunts; to Marmalade) Oh yeah? Whatcha' gonna do, Whiskers?!
MARMALADE: (puts on the helmet and sneers; to the crew) This!
[He moves his hands up and the road rumbles underneath the car.]
WOLF: (notices) What the…?
[They turn around to see a swarm of mind-controlled guinea pigs surging toward them, knocking down palm trees and stuff in the process.]
SHARK: (scared; to the crew) We’ve got adorable company.
TARANTULA: (scared; to Wolf) Floor it!
[The car speeds up. The guinea pig swarm tries to slam down on the Bad Guys. They enter a tunnel while still dodging the swarm.]
WOLF: (while dodging the swarm) Whoa!
PIRANHA: (scared) Maybe I shouldn’t have called him Whiskers.
[They make it out of the tunnel, but the swarm keeps chasing them.]
TARANTULA: (scared) When I woke up this morning, this is not where I saw the day going.
[Wolf drives the car to dodge the swarm trying to slam down on him and his crew.]
WOLF: (while driving) Come on.
[As they keep dodging the guinea pigs, we cut back to Marmalade and Snake.]
SNAKE: (concerned; to Marmalade) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, let’s dial this down a notch, huh? Besides, you’ll never get him. He’s too good a driver.
MARMALADE: (gets an idea; to Snake) Hmm. You’re right. But now that I think of it, maybe it would be better to exploit his greatest weakness.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Marmalade) Exactly. (then) Wait.
[He throws Snake off, but the reptile hangs on for his life with his teeth.]
WOLF: (scared; to Marmalade) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Hold it, hold it, hold it. 
[Marmalade chuckles evilly, ready to stomp Snake off.]
WOLF: (scared; to Marmalade) Okay, okay. You win. You can have the space rock.
MARMALADE: (smirks; to Wolf) Good boy, Wolf.
[Marmalade controls the guinea pigs to make an opening for the helicopter. Cuddles flicks the switch to drop out a hook to grab the meteorite.]
WOLF: (as he climbs out; to Piranha) Take the wheel.
[He gets on top of the car and gets on the meteorite as the hook latches onto it.]
WOLF: (to Marmalade) Not so fast! Pull him up first! Or I'll use this!
[He gets out the lipstick blowtorch.]
MARMALADE: (rolls his eyes; to Wolf) Oh, come now.
[He flicks it on, igniting it to cut at the chain. Snake sees this and chuckles while Marmalade glares.]
WOLF: (threateningly; to Marmalade) Do it! Or you'll lose the rock!
MARMALADE: (glares; to Wolf) If you insist. (to Cuddles) Cuddles! 
[Cuddles pilots the chopper to the edge of the bridge.]
MARMALADE: (darkly; to Wolf) You want him? He's yours.
[He pushes Snake out of the helicopter.]
WOLF: (scared; to Snake) Snake! 
[He jumps off the meteorite and gets back in the car.]
WOLF: (scared) No, no, no!
PIRANHA: (scared) Snake! Oh, no!
[He pulls back the lever and the car speeds through the guinea pigs. Wolf spots Snake falling down before seeing the other side of the bridge. He gets a risky idea.]
WOLF: (to the crew) Guys, I know it’s crazy, but we’re gonna jump it.
PIRANHA: (overjoyed; to Wolf) Crazy? You’re finally speaking my language, chico.
[Wolf stomps on the pedal and the car speeds up. It flies off a ramp of guinea pigs, soaring through the air.]
PIRANHA: (overjoyed) We’re gonna make it!
[Unfortunately, the gap is too big, and the car starts falling.]
TARANTULA: (scared) No!
[The Bad Guys fly out of their car and Wolf spots Snake falling nearby.]
SNAKE: (amazed; to Wolf) You came back.
[Wolf swims through the air to reach Snake.]
WOLF: (guilty; to Snake) Snake. I should’ve been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you’d…
SNAKE: (smiles softly; to Wolf) Act like a jerk and never talk to you again?
WOLF: (laughing; to Snake) Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
SNAKE: (smiles softly; to Wolf) Yeah. I love you, too, buddy.
[They hug each other while the others watch nearby, touched.]
SHARK: (touched) This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys? (sobbing)
PIRANHA: (touched) Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry. (sobs)
TARANTULA: (sobbing) I know! So pathetic, right?
WOLF: (smiles; to his crew) Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?
[He gets out the grappling hook and the others smile in awe. He fires and they get away while the car explodes down below. The explosion shockwave flicks the helmet off Marmalade's head and into the propellers of the chopper, destroying the helmet. This snaps the guinea pigs back to normal and they scurry away. The helicopter starts to go down.]
MARMALADE: (panics) No, no, no, don’t… No, no. Cuddles! We’re losing altitude! We’re losing altitude! We’re going down!
[As the helicopter flies by, we see the Bad Guys hanging on to the grappling line.]
PIRANHA: (confused; to the others) What happened? Did we blow up? Is this heaven?
[Wolf climbs up to the ledge, only to find Luggins waiting for him. He tries to leave, but Luggins pulls him and the Bad Guys up.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (chuckles; to the Bad Guys) That is it.
PIRANHA: (as he and the others are pulled up; to Luggins) Hey!
CHIEF LUGGINS: (grins; to the Bad Guys) There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
DIANE: (steps in; to Luggins) Wait, Chief.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (confused) Governor Foxington?
DIANE: (pleading; to Luggins) Don’t do this.
WOLF: (as Luggins drops him) Ow!
DIANE: (pleading; to Luggins) They didn’t steal the meteorite. They were bringing it back.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (doubtful; to Diane) Ha! How could you know that? Unless… unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.
DIANE: (nervously; to Luggins) Well… (clears throat) as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something. The truth is I’m really… (clears throat) r-really…
WOLF: (interrupts Diane) Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know.
[He looks to the others, who smile and nod. He nods and hands the kitten to Diane before holding his arms out.]
WOLF: (holds his arms out; to Luggins) We’re done running away.
[The other Bad Guys join in.]
PIRANHA: (holds out his arms; to Luggins) Yeah.
SHARK: (holds out his arms; to Luggins) Mm-hmm.
TARANTULA: (holds out her arms; to Luggins) Yeah.
SNAKE: (holds out his tail; to Luggins) Yep.
WOLF: (calmly smiles; to Luggins) Chief, do what you need to do.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (confused) What? Y-You’re turning yourself in?
WOLF: (calmly smiles; to Luggins) We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (shocked) Wow, really?
WOLF: (calmly smiles; to Luggins) You finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. (handcuffs himself) Drink it in.
CHIEF LUGGINS: (gasps) Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn’t I?
WOLF: (unsure; to Luggins) Uh… (mutters)
CHIEF LUGGINS: (clears throat) When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were just too powerful for that fragile little instrument. And that’s when I discovered law enforcement. (chuckles)
[As she continues her speech in the background, Diane smiles at Wolf.]
DIANE: (smiles; to Wolf) I’m proud of you, Wolf.
WOLF: (proudly; to Diane) You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.
[The Bad Guys walk off with the cops.]
TIFFANY: (reporting; to the camera) So, it turns out the saga of the Bad Guys has come to a simple and totally satisfying conclusion. Though I wonder, what happened to the meteorite?
[The helicopter flies into view, engine sputtering.]
MARMALADE: (angrily; to Cuddles) Cuddles! Faster, faster!
TIFFANY: (reporting; to the camera) It’s Professor Marmalade! He’s bringing the meteorite back.
MARMALADE: (notices the crowd) Huh? (plays innocent; to the camera) Uh, yes, yes. Bringing… bringing it back. That’s precisely what I am doing. 
[The helicopter sets the meteorite down before landing safely while Marmalade steps out.]
MARMALADE: (plays innocent; to Tiffany) Look no further. Your hero has arrived.
TIFFANY: (interviewing; to Marmalade) Professor, care to comment?
MARMALADE: (plays innocent; to Tiffany) I tried to help them, Tiffany, but in the end, it’s the same old story. Bad guys bad, good guys good.
TIFFANY: (interviewing; nods) So true. So wise.
MARMALADE: (plays innocent; to Tiffany) Furthermore, for the good of the city, I have generously decided to take the meteorite back to my compound for safekeeping.
[The cops cheer for Marmalade while the Bad Guys watch in dismay.]
TARANTULA: (dismayed; to the others) Is he seriously gonna get away with this?
MARMALADE: (plays innocent; to the cops) Thank you. Gosh, you’re kind. Give it up for me!
[As he claps his hands, the meteorite turns on and off like a lamp. Luggins notices this.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (notices; seeing the meteorite) Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, (claps to turn off the meteorite lamp; shocked) it's a lamp!
[Marmalade gasps in shock. The Bad Guys are shocked by this.]
ALL: (confused; eyes widened) Huh?
[Snake chuckles at this. The others turn to Snake.]
OTHERS: (confused; to Snake) What?
[We flash back to Snake's first good deed.]
TARANTULA: (voiceover; to Snake) Snake, what did you just do?
SNAKE: (voiceover; to the crew) What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
TARANTULA: (voiceover; to the others) I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
[As he steams off in the elevator, he looks at his tail still wagging and gets an idea. Later, he meets with Marmalade in the penthouse.]
SNAKE: (in flashback; to Marmalade) I’m bad. You’re bad. Let’s be bad together.
MARMALADE: (they shake hands; to Snake) You’ve got yourself a deal.
[As Marmalade goes off, Snake smiles. We cut to the betrayal part from earlier.]
SNAKE: (in flashback; to Marmalade) Can I try it on?
MARMALADE: (hands the helmet to Snake; to Snake) Of course, partner.
[Snake puts it on and uses the helmet to control the guinea pigs. They all leave their cages and head to the lamp. They spin it around and use spray-paint to make it look like the real thing. They then switch the real meteorite for the fake one in the machine. One guinea pig claps his paws and the lamp turns on. Later, we cut to the Bad Guys robbing the meteorite, when it's actually the lamp.]
WOLF: (in flashback; to Marmalade) Don’t mind us. Just robbing this place.
[Shark puts the lamp on the car, and they drive off.]
MARMALADE: (in flashback; shocked) No, no, no!
[As he goes after them, the mind-controlled hamsters put the real meteorite in the machine. One hamster pulls the lever to overdrive, charging the rock up too much. Back in present day...]
MARMALADE: (shocked; frowns) But if that’s a lamp, where is the…
SNAKE: (chuckling; to Marmalade) The old switcheroo.
[The fake meteorite sparks up in the lab. Cut to Snake, he snaps his tail, and an explosion occurs in the distance, destroying Marmalade's place and unleashing a glowing beam into the sky. It fizzes out, blowing the hats off the cops. Marmalade is in utter shock while Wolf pats his little head. He and Snake enter the police car, with Wolf giving one last look to Diane before the car starts moving. The Bad Guys watch smugly with Piranha pointing to his butt.]
PIRANHA: (smiles; to Marmalade) It’s a butt.
[Then, the Golden Dolphin falls down and drops on the meteorite, which lands on Marmalade. Out drops the Zumpango diamond. Luggins picks it up and inspects it.]
CHIEF LUGGINS: (inspects the diamond) Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond. But this was stolen by the… (gasps and points at Marmalade) By the Crimson Paw!
MARMALADE: (shocked; to Luggins) Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
[The news crew comes to report on this.]
TIFFANY: (reporting; to the camera) OMG.
MARMALADE: (shocked; to the police) No, no, no. No, you’ve got it wrong.
[Luggins grabs the guinea pig and lifts him away.]
TIFFANY: (reporting; to the camera) In a shocking twist....
MARMALADE: (tries to plead innocent; to the police) You’re making a huge mistake!
TIFFANY: (reporting; to the camera) The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be…
MARMALADE: (tries to plead innocent; to the police) No! No!
[Luggins throws him into the back of the SUCM car and slams the door.]
TIFFANY: (reporting; to the camera) …none other than Professor Marmalade.
MARMALADE: (tries to plead innocent; to the police) No, no!! I'm not the Crimson Paw! (points to Diane) S-She's the Crimson Paw! She's the Paw! I'M THE FLOWER OF GOODNESS!!! NOOOO!!!! 
[Diane picks up the Golden Dolphin and waves goodbye to Marmalade. The SUCM car drives off with Marmalade inside with the cop cars trailing behind. Cut to the cop car with the Bad Guys inside.]
SHARK: (proudly; to Snake) Ooh! (noogies Snake) That’s my reptile right there.
PIRANHA: (grins; to Snake) That’s what I’m talking about! All right!
TARANTULA: (cheers; to Snake) Yeah!
SNAKE: (grins; to the others) Come on, somebody had to destroy that meteorite. That thing was dangerous.
WOLF: (smiles; to Snake) That was pretty good there, Snakey.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) Good? It was genius. Not only did I foil the pig, I got you to admit how much you care about me.
WOLF: (nods; to Snake) Sure, yeah. I just wonder about one little thing.
SNAKE: (quizzically; to Wolf) Oh, yeah? What’s that, Wolf?
WOLF: (puts on sunglasses; to Snake) Who do you think put that one Push Pop in the fridge?
SNAKE: (realizes; to Wolf) Wait. You… No. 
WOLF: (smirks; to Snake) I knew you were good.
[The other Bad Guys laugh.]
SNAKE: (shocked; to Wolf) No.
TARANTULA: (smiles; to Snake) We good, baby. We good.
SHARK: (cheers; to Snake) Yeah!
[Cut to black. The title card appears on the screen. Roll credits. After the cast listing, we cut to black.]
WOLF: (voiceover; to Snake) Okay, so imagine it’s your birthday.
[Cut open to one year later (2023). Text reads, "One year later. Sentence reduced for good behavior." Inside the Super Ultra Crazy Max prison, Wolf and Snake turn in their prison clothes now that they're back to their regular clothes.]
SNAKE: (offscreen; to Wolf) It is my birthday.
WOLF: (offscreen; to Snake) Yeah, I know. So, but we’re walking along and you meet a genie.
SNAKE: (offscreen; to Wolf) Okay. What’s his name?
WOLF: (throws the hat back to Snake) What’s the genie’s name?
SNAKE: (grabs his hat; to Wolf) Yeah, I want to know who I’m talking to.
WOLF: (as he grabs his coat; to Snake) I don’t know, Genie or Gene for short. So he offers you three wishes.
SNAKE: (quizzically; to Wolf) Why three?
WOLF: (shrugs; to Snake) You know, industry standard. Now, what do you wish for?
SNAKE: (thinking; to Wolf) Uh…
COP: (bidding them farewell; to Wolf and Snake) Good luck out there, guys.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) I’m gonna go with nothing.
WOLF: (laughing; to Snake) Nothing? Come on, it’s your birthday.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) All right, but what do I need wishes for? I got my freedom.
[They exit the prison, where the others are waiting for them.]
TARANTULA: (greets; to Wolf and Snake) Hey.
SHARK: (greets; to Wolf and Snake) Guys!
PIRANHA: (greets; to Wolf and Snake) Looking good, hermanos.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) I got my friends.
TARANTULA: (touched; to Snake) Aw.
SNAKE: (smiles; to Wolf) I got the skin of a reptile half my age.
SHARK: (smiles; to Snake) I don’t know about half your age, but you do look good.
WOLF: (smiles; to Snake) Well, that’s because you just molted.
SNAKE: (nods; to Wolf) Yes, I did.
SHARK: (smiles; to Snake) You smell good, too.
SNAKE: (scoffs; to Wolf) I’m shiny. I’m gorgeous.
[They laugh as they exit the building. They come across an empty road.]
TARANTULA: (quizzically; to Wolf) Uh, so what do we do now?
PIRANHA: (quizzically; to Wolf) Steal a car?
WOLF: (scolding; to Piranha) Piranha!
PIRANHA: (grins; to Wolf) I was joking. It was a joke.
SNAKE: (frowns; to Wolf) You know, on second thought, Wolf, maybe I’d, uh, wish for a ride.
WOLF: (smirks; to Snake) Oh, yeah? Alakazam. (snaps fingers)
[On cue, a car drives up with Foxington in the driver's seat.]
WOLF: (smiles; to Diane) Nice. (the others laugh in joy)
DIANE: (smiling; to the crew) Hey, guys. Ready to get to work?
[The kitten also appears in the car, mewing before jumping to Wolf.]
WOLF: (chuckling; notices the kitten) Hey. Whoa.
TARANTULA: (touched; smiles warmly) Aw.
[The Bad Guys get in the car.]
WOLF: (to the viewers; smiles) Hey, you. That’s right. Come here. Little closer. I said closer. (camera zooms to Wolf) Now that we’ve had some time to get acquainted, uh, not so scary now, are we? (to Tarantula; confidently) Webs, hit it.
[Tarantula turns on the music. “Brand New Day” by The Heavy plays on the cellphone as the Bad Guys, Diane, and the kitten put on sunglasses. They drive off into the horizon while laughing. Resume end credits. Finally, the movie ends when we stop on a photo of the Bad Guys. We hear them laughing and whooping before the film fades to black.]
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Category:The Bad Guys (2022)
Category:The Bad Guys (2022) Transcripts