Biden Incident

The Biden Incident was the climactic finale of the Rick Hernia Omniverse. 
== Hunter's Hunt ==
Hunter Biden had been searching for his father, off and on again, for nearly 900 thousand years, after Joe Biden's Legumish Incarnate destroyed his cloning facility and left his plans for an army in ruins. 
== Premonitions ==
Rick Hernia woke violently from his slumber late one evening to a horrendous noise, as if trillions of voices were screaming out in agony. The sound was, unbeknownst to Rick, the sound of all of the souls in the Omniverse being silenced at once (an event which would soon occur). Rick was deeply disturbed by this experience, and meditated on the matter. He felt the Legume's presence in his room. But the Legume felt... different. It was weaker, and the Legume's power seemed to be dwindling. Rick sensed dark forces at play. 
== The Omniversal Rot ==
Rick traveled to Berrand to confront Hunter Biden about the Matter. The two had become bitter rivals, and Hunter had warned Rick that the next time he stepped foot on Berrand, he'd be shot to death. 
When Rick stepped foot off of his Gleryate Cruiser, however, no such attack came. In fact, Hunter and several guards ran towards Rick, in a panicked state. 
Hunter and Rick exchanged pleasantries (a first) and Hunter beckoned Rick inside. He showed Rick a map of the Omniverse. All across the outer edges of the Omniverse, stars were getting dimmer. The Omniverse was getting colder too- faster than usual. Hunter explained that the Omniverse was quite literally rotting, from the centers of protons and neurons outwards. It was slowly turning to dust. 
The highest concentration of Omniversal Rot was approximately 150 million light years away from them, on the planet Exegar, which Hunter explained had recently appeared out of seemingly thin air, right in the Berrand System. Rick and Hunter boarded Hunter's personal cruiser and headed off towards the mysterious planet. 
Hunter and Rick arrived on the dark planet in the middle of a raging sandstorm. Hunter made several Slavelings (descendants of the Dutt Kroasians he had kidnapped nearly a million years ago) drape a cloth around him and Rick as they approached a mysterious glowing mountain. 
== Bidenkeep ==
The Slavelings were disintegrated instantly by the intense Legumish and Aeonic energies emitting from the mountain. Hunter and Rick ventured forward alone through the darkness. Eventually, through the violent winds around him, Hunter heard a faint whisper... "Son?"
Hunter and Rick climbed up the craggly mountainside. Along the way, they met several mysterious cloaked figures. These were last members of Waifurian Empire offshoot organization the Enclave; dedicated forever to the upholding the 'Employer-chosen' Waifurian Empire and its once great ruler. 
When Hunter and Rick reached the peak of the summit, they found themselves at the mouth of a large chasm. This was the Bidenkeep. Adorning the walls of the cavern were large murals, depicting various artworks from the course of Joe Biden's life. There were images of Biden's rice patty in Mesopotamia, his throne room in Constantinople, and meetings in the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid. But there were more sinister images too; Biden's Absorption of the Great MAGA King, his Mindrotten genocide on Shellberry Grannlope, and Biden's death at the hands of Marvin Fluxton. 
Rick and Hunter came to a large opening, where the murals stopped. Around the room were various machines and structures from across the Omniverse's history; a shrapnel piece of Waifuria Prime, the $5 Chalupa Box itself, and Keith Cumshoes' mummified head (which appalled Rick Hernia deeply). 
In the center of the room was a dark, shrouded figure. This was, of course, the Mummy, in all of his Rotten Grandeur. 
== The Curse of The Mummy ==
Joe Biden was still alive. His Legumish essence was waning, and the Great MAGA King's fresh corpse lay beside him, as preserved as it had been the day he consumed him in the Glue Factory Incident. Trump's Aeonic energy had been totally drained. 
Biden's corpse was thin and weak, and his body was clearly degenerating rapidly. It was translucent, as well, as this body was comprised of Biden's soul and nothing more. Biden watched Rick and Hunter approach him, with cold, dead eyes. 
"Folks... today... himbersnatch...", Biden mumbled, his eyes rolling back in his head. 
Biden raised his rotting hands to the sky and, almost as if on cue, a great bolt of purple lightning struck the Mummy, imbuing him with horrid energy. 
== The Final Blunder ==
Joe Biden's endless, mindrotten quest for power had led him to start seeping energy from the Omniverse itself, like a parasite that just wouldn't die (even though he did, twice). He was sucking energy from individual particles, which was having an exponential effect of decay on the Omniverse. Joe Biden was directly responsible for the Omniverse beginning to collapse, as Hunter had observed. 
Biden had expended every major energy source in the Omniverse- except for the Aubergine, which had been locked away from him by Francis and the Warshippers. However, the Legume's power had fluctuated for a split second- a microsecond, in fact, but this had been enough time for Biden to draw on its power and absorb its essence. Joe Biden rose from his throne, floating in the air. 
"I AM... THE WENDIGO!", Biden screamed with the full force of a Greybeard in his prime. Rick and Hunter were blown back against the chamber wall. 
Joe Biden floated over to Hunter. Biden raised his arms once again to the sky. "FOLKS, I PLEDGE to... chocolate chocolate chip!", Biden shrieked, his skin beginning to be set ablaze. The Aubergine was taking over Biden's feeble mind.
Hunter drew his Bidensaber, and Rick stood back and concentrated with all his might on the Legume's essence. He materialized a Starmetal replica of the Great MAGA King's Borderblade. The two stood facing the hideous Aubergine Incarnate. 
== Fateful Battle ==
The Albuquerque Black Hole Cluster was a spatial anomaly. Every object and being which had been consumed by the Black Holes existed just outside of the finite Omniverse, in the Outervoid. Biden tore a hole to the Outervoid over Exegar, and began hurling various timefractured entities and objects at Rick and Hunter. These included human bodies, couches, lamps, vehicles, and several trees. Rick and Hunter cut through this onslaught, and pushed forward into Biden's whirlwind of carnage. 
"Father. I will not fight you." Hunter's words echoed through the chamber. Biden suddenly stopped. The various objects spiraling around him froze. The purple glow faded from his eyes. 
"I'm so sorry, son. I'm so... I'm so so sorry... f-for everything... it's too late now... you need to.. go... go... GO!" On the last word, Biden's entire body was engulfed with purple flame and he screamed a horrible shriek.
Biden concentrated a ray of pure antimatter at Hunter and Rick. While Rick and Hunter were able to deflect the beam for some time, it was cutting into both of their blades. They both realized that only one of them was going to escape. Hunter turned to Rick. "Buddy, we both know who the good guy is here... jack. And it's not me." 
Hunter summoned a portal, just as he had done all those years ago to defeat Rick, only now, he was doing it to save him. He pushed Rick Hernia into it, sending him to the wreckage of Waifuria Prime on Ghetsin 3. 
Joe Biden concentrated all of his power on Hunter Biden, slowly tearing Hunter's Legumish energy and stealing it as his own. Joe Biden pulled Hunter towards him, absorbing Hunter into his flaming Aubergine Incarnate- and now, the Father, Son, and Wretched Spirit were one.
== One Last Nudge ==
The Employers, who had been watching all this with bated breath, finally decided to interfere, personally. The Omniverse was on the brink of collapse. They entered the Bidenkeep and ripped Hunter Biden's soul from the wretched Mummy. They then began absorbing the immense power which Biden had absorbed over the Eons. As they did this, however, they realized their efforts were to no avail- the Omniverse was still crumbling, faster. The Legume's energy had been totally depleted. The Omniverse was over. This was the Final Moment. 
== Final Moment ==
Rick Hernia sat under the starry night skies of Ghetsin 3, fixated on the dimming cosmos. The stars he'd known his whole life- the stars he'd worked so hard to protect- were finally going out. 
But at least it was peaceful, the end of the Omniverse.
It wasn't a fiery explosion, killing all of the innocents of the stars. 
And it wasn't a sad, lonely heat death, a hopeless fight against the neverending march of time and darkness. 
It wasn't the right time, no...
But when can the time be right, anyways? 
There's never a good time to say goodbye. 
Alas, goodbye always follows where hello goes. 
Goodbye, Rick.
Category:Events