Chapter 3- Flavors

~Flavors~
Cupid had zero idea why the stupid card said to take a stupid boat. Water was great, amazing even, but waves made him feel like someone was kneading his insides out. And not in the s*xy romantic way.
Fog hung over the lake that had somehow continued to be called Lake Michigan for literally thousands of years. The taxi boat drifted towards a boardwalk with a large antique ferris wheel sitting on its edge. Red and yellow lamps lit the way, and once again he sensed a small waft of kerosene blow by. What was with this woman and dousing her property in gas?
As the boat hit the dock, the captain held out his hand for payment. Cupid shoved ❈8 in his open palm and jumped onto the soggy as h3ll wood. He peered around the dark, empty pier and noticed a serpopard-looking fellow wearing a velvet suit and black undershirt, with a small red and gold mushroom pin on its chest next to a name tag Cupid couldn’t read in the dim light.
“Card?” It looked down at him and arched an eyebrow. Cupid felt around and pulled it out of his back pocket for the guy.
The Serpopard gestured for him to follow and they started walking down the path. Cupid could make out some kind of a bedazzled apartment complex at the end, with gold trim and columns. Red and white spotlights illuminated it from the ground, giving it a kind of ominous look. Er, besides the fact it was on an abandoned hunk of wood in the middle of a lake. 
Cupid heard a low growl beside him. Frankie, who’s name Cupid now knew after reading its name tag, slowed down about ten yards from the door and held out a hand to stop him.
“Follow my steps.” 
It took off in a ballroom dance-esque pattern, the ground glowing red where its feet fell. Cupid carefully traced his steps, he was a bit rusty on this form of dance so he almost tripped up about halfway through. Luckily nothing unfortunate befell him, so he continued the awkward strut forward. They reached the front step quickly, Cupid figured it must be a strange security measure.
“We do that so whoever’s at the door knows whether this visit is authorized or not. Keeps the beggars away once they figure out the door won’t open.” Frankie grinned a bit.
Cupid nodded and then leaned forward to try to see what was through the translucent window on the door. He fell back at once as soon as a little slider opened up.
Three pairs of eyes looked around for anyone and then asked Frankie a question,
“Care to dance?”
Frankie bowed and responded, “I never care.”
This seemed to satisfy the creature on the other side and the door creaked open.
Immediately upon entering, Cupid could tell that this was no fool’s gold. This place was legit. A grandiose lobby adorned with a crystal chandelier and little floating lights that looked like fire was the first thing he noticed. They danced around the intricate Greek-looking murals on the ceiling.
Velvet furniture, similar to what Hydnellum lounged on previously, decorated authentic marble floors along with some elegant throw rugs here and there. But mostly he noted how many candles and incense sticks littered the room. Staying in this building for an extended amount of time, or even within 100 yards of it, was sure to give anyone a killer headache.
“Welcome to The *insert name here*,” Frankie lifted an arm to show off the gorgeous interior, “Hydnellum is in the penthouse waiting for you, there's an elevator to your left. Good luck.” It nodded respectfully and left Cupid awkwardly standing in the middle of a large, empty room.
Where is everyone? This feels like some weird liminal space sh*t.
Cupid put his hands on his hips, rocking back and forth on his heels. He let out a small “echo!” and then a little “oh.” when nothing responded. Disappointed, he headed towards the elevator.
It was completely quiet apart from the whirr of machinery and the casual bongos coming from the speakers. Cupid was sure that was a reference to something, but nothing crossed his mind.
The elevator let out a little ding! When it stopped, its doors opened to reveal a similar room, except this time, there was a very large tapestry of the woman Cupid had met before and a door right underneath. Cupid adjusted his jacket (luckily, he had enough time to change out of his dirt-ridden attire) and stepped into the room. 
He would’ve coughed if he had a mouth. He could barely breathe in here.
If he was lucky, this meeting would be short, or he’d at least be allowed to open a window or sit outside. Not sure if that would help much, though.
Cupid continued walking forward, closing the gap between him and whatever sh*t he’d get mixed up in behind those doors. They swung open on their own. He walked inside hesitantly, getting deja vu from just hours ago when he met Hydnellum previously.
“Glad you could make it,” She was sitting on,  you guessed it, a red velvet chair in a little sitting area to the right of the entrance, “I take it you’ve thought through my offer?”
Cupid nodded, “Yeah, I already said I was in.”
“Just double checking,” She nodded, “People who back out of my deals tend to have… unfortunate accidents. I wouldn’t want that to happen to you, now would I?”
Cupid shook his head a tiny bit, This b*tch is trying so hard.
She got up and pulled a curtain across a wall revealing rows and rows of tubes stacked on top of each other, each with a body inside, their faces frozen in fear. They were each in different states of decay, some were barely recognizable as beings, though Cupid could clearly make out the features of others. Hydnellum pointed at an open spot on the bottom,
“You’d fit here, no? The lake people love it when I’m done with the bodies, c*nnibals and all.” She absentmindedly sighed. Her mushroom-topped head turned back to look at him with what might’ve been a smile.
“Yeah, I know a few who'd be delighted.” He still wasn't threatened. In fact, he actually agreed with her, he would look rather wonderful displayed in one of those tubes. Knowing him, he’d probably put extra effort into choosing a pose.
Alas, he wasn't interested in being stuck at the bottom. In this case, at least. It would have been much better if he was front and center, but it seemed like that spot was taken.
Too bad for him, guess he needed to finish this job after all.
“Wonderful,” she clapped, “I’ll let your chaperone know you said yes.” She snapped and a phone appeared in her hand with a poof of gold.
“...Chaperone?” Cupid would have raised an eyebrow if he had those. He did not.
“Why of course! It’d be a shame if you were to get distracted by other, much less important matters, so I’m letting you take a friend of mine with you. She’d be happy to be of assistance.” 
Hydnellum finished typing a text message and looked back up at him, “That’s not an issue is it?” She asked with an air of taunt that would have seemed like an innocent question to an ordinary citizen.
Cupid sighed, “No, that’s fine,” he couldn’t promise that this… friend wouldn’t get shot though.
“Oh silly, I won’t get shot! And besides, bullets just tickle!” A higher pitched voice spoke up from behind him.
What the f*ck? He definitely didn’t say the g*n thing out loud.
Heidi smiled, “She’s very punctual.”
Cupid turned around to assess what this ‘chaperone’ was like. Glowing stars encircled a vaguely humanoid body, dark matter floating in and out of cleanly severed limbs. A giant moonlike eye was floating where a head should be, and there was a tongue there instead of a neck. And also it was looking at him weirdly.
“Why do you sound like that?”
“...sound like what?”
“Your head is crunchy, like there's two. Are you calling someone?” it narrowed her eye, then licked him.
Cupid quickly pushed her away and aimed his g*n at it. “WOAH WOAH WOAH! I’d prefer it if you didn’t lick me without my consent!”
“Oh. May I please lick you?”
“I- absolutely not!”
“But you have two flavors.” She pouted, “I’ve never had someone with TWO flavors.”
He didn’t know what it meant.
Hydnellum chuckled,
“Well, it looks like you’re getting along swimmingly. I have one more thing for you before I kick you out. Your aura ruins the vibe.”
He was relieved that this was almost over.
“I know the whereabouts of the Emperix for tomorrow evening but that’s it. My guess is they killed our spy, but he was expendable so it’s fine. Anyways, I take it you’ve heard of a certain underground fight club?” She ran her fingers along the edges of an end table.
“Unspecific, but I’ll take a wild guess. Big Town Banky Blaine’s Rockabilly BBQ?”
“Brilliant, she’s supposedly going to make an appearance there at around 12pm tomorrow, but I don’t know how many people have this information who also want her dead. There may be competition. However, I trust you know what you’re doing and won’t let me down, right?”
“Nope. If anything, the extra competition will make this more entertaining.”
“Perfect, off you go!” She not so gently shoved him out the door, along with his new…buddy, who just kept staring at him.
“She doesn’t want you to kill the Emperix.” The Creature noted.
“Who? Hydnellum?” Cupid didn’t like this creature. “She literally just hired me to kill her.”
“No, your other flavor.” 
…What?