The Imposter/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "The Imposter".
== ==
(The book opens up and Poppy tells us where we left off.)
Poppy: Without a doubt, this has been a strange day.  What was supposed to be a harmonious Pillow Harvest let to an all-out pillow war, which got a tiny bit out of hand. But when we discovered a mysterious box, we realized the craziness had just begun. (She opens the chest.) It’s a wooden chest filled with Troll wigs and masks of us. (She picks up a journal.) And look, some sort of journal detailing our habits and routines.
Guy Diamond: That’s silly. Why would anyone hide a box like that out here in the middle of nowhere?
Branch: I’ll tell you why. Because someone’ pretending to be a Troll to spy on us. There’s an imposter in out midst. (The Trolls gasp.) And based on this journal, I’d say he or she is learning our weaknesses, maybe to steal something, or maybe lead a full-scale invasion! (The Trolls gasp again while Poppy laughs.)
Poppy: There’s not an imposter. This is Branch, remember? (She goes over to Branch.) He’s always spouting off paranoid conspiracy theories.
Branch: No, I don’t. (We go to the past where Branch is telling paranoid theories.)
Past Branch: Satin is actually Chenille. They were switched at birth. (He uncovers a chalk board and the Trolls laugh.) The Man in the Moon is actually a little boy fishing. (The Trolls laugh again and he frowns.) The birds have formed an alliance. They’re teaming up against us! (The Trolls laugh once more and leave.) You’ll regret this! (We go back to the present where the Trolls are laughing.)
Archer: And remember that time he told us eating too much sugar would make our teeth fall out? (He puts a hand on a blue male Troll’s shoulder.) What a kook! (One of his teeth falls out and the Trolls gasp.) Oh, that was for real? (He laughs and runs away.) Oh, Mr. Dentist!
Branch: Guys, I’m not paranoid! This is clearly a hidden chest of disguises that someone didn’t want us knowing about.
Poppy: You say “chest of disguises”. I say “emergency costume party box”.
Branch: An emergency costume party box? Who on earth would have something like that? (The Trolls raise their hands.)
Guy Diamond: I do!
Troll #1: Oh, I do!
Smidge: Oh, yeah!
Troll #2: Oh, me!
Guy Diamond: I don’t know, guys. As much as I like teasing Branch, it is stranger that someone would hide their costume box all the way out here.
Smidge: Yeah, we all enjoy mocking Branch. But that journal is awfully weird. Maybe we should hear him out. (The Trolls chatter.)
Poppy: OK, we can do that, or we can forget about it and sing a song! (She takes out her cowbell.)
All: Sing a song! (Poppy starts playing her cowbell.)
Branch: But- (Poppy starts singing Life is Great.)
(Poppy)
Just look around you
(All)
Ooh ah
(Poppy)
The blue sky’s shining
(All)
Ooh ah
(Poppy)
Love surrounds you
(All)
Ooh ah!
(Poppy)
Your friends are smiling
Yeah
Every day our dreams come true
(All)
Ooh ooh oooh ooh… Whoo!
(Poppy)
Life is great, life is grand
Don’t listen to Branch!
Don’t listen to Branch!
We’re celebrating
We party all night
(All)
Ooh ah!
(Poppy)
There’s no debating
(All)
Ooh ah!
(Poppy)
True colors shine bright, yeah!
Got non-stop fun, hugs on demand
(All)
Ahh ahh… Whoo!
(Poppy)
Life is great
(Branch)
Just quiet down
(Poppy)
Life is grand
(Branch)
You’re way too loud
(Poppy)
Don’t listen to Branch
Don’t listen to Branch
Celebrate
(Branch)
I’m on defense
(Poppy)
Sing and dance
(Branch)
Oh, it’s common sense
(Poppy)
Don’t listen to Branch
Don’t listen to Branch!
Never listen to Branch!
Creek: Ah, my chakras are realigned.
Guy Diamond: I feel like a million glitters.
Poppy: Ha-ha! Great song, guys. Never forget. Life is great!
Branch: Poppy, are you OK?
Poppy: (Grabbing Branch) Life is not great, Branch. There’s an imposter in our midst.
Branch: What?! What happened to “emergency costume party box”?!
Poppy: Emergency costumes of other Trolls? (She holds up a mask of herself.) Get your head out of the clouds. I said that to put everyone at ease.
Branch: But you accused me of being paranoid. You… you sang an entire song assailing my character.
Poppy: I had to really sell it. I didn’t want anyone to freak out. And Trolls have a long history of freaking out. (We go to the past where she is throwing glitter at a party.)
Past Poppy: Ooh, we’ve run out of glitter. (The music stops and the Trolls scream and run around. Cooper knocks over a table of food. Then we go back to the present.)
Poppy: So it’s up to us to find this imposter and make sure he or she doesn’t mean us any harm. And I think I know where we can do it… (She and Branch go to the Big Picnic.) … the Big Picnic! The can’t-miss event of Picnic Week. Everyone will be here. (Biggie takes out cupcakes a drink, and a bag of bread with Mr. Dinkles in it.
Mr. Dinkles: Meep.
Poppy: The imposter is likely wearing a wig, so we just need to give everyone a little hair tug on the down-low to find out who’s pretending, assuming he or she is still here in the village.
Branch: Oh, they are. No-one goes to all the trouble of making something like this and then leaves without it. (A figure in the bushes tries to grab his journal, but Branch moves it away.)
Poppy: Here, I wrote down every Troll’s name. (She gives Poppy a piece of paper.) We’ll each take half and won’t stop until every head is tugged.
Branch: Every head? (He and Poppy tug each other’s hair.)
Poppy: Ow!
Branch: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Both: (Taking notes) You’re clear. (Poppy goes over to Biggie eating a sandwich.)
Poppy: Oh, Biggie, it’s so good to see you.
Biggie: (As Poppy’s hand climbs his head) Uh… (Poppy tugs his hair.) Ow!
Poppy: OK. Gotta go!
Biggie: Well, that was odd. (Branch is with Guy Diamond, a Troll child, a light blue male, and pink female Troll.)
Branch: Man, I’m beat. (He yawns and tugs Guy Diamond’s hair.)
Guy Diamond: (Doing a glitter fart) Hm? (Glitter forms around him.) Hm. (Branch then leaves.)
Branch: Got my 2nd wind! (Poppy goes over to a teal male Glitter Troll.)
Poppy: Oh, no. You have a bug in your hair. (She tugs the teal male Glitter Troll’s hair.)
Glitter Troll #1: Ow! (Branch is in the overalls of a light purple male Troll.)
Branch: Now yours. (He tugs the light purple male Troll’s hair.)
Troll #3: Ow. (Branch plays a violin as 10 Trolls dance.)
Poppy: Swing your partner and offer them a hug, then grab their hair and give them a firm hug! (The Trolls swing their partners, hug, and tug their hair.)
All: Ow!
Poppy: I give those hugs about a 5 out of 10. So just for good measure, yank ‘em all again! (The Trolls yank their hair again.)
All: Ow!
Troll #4: What the…! (Poppy goes to Aspen about to eat a sandwich.)
Poppy: What’s that Aspen? You think you can beat Smidge in a hair tug-of-war?
Aspen Heitz: I didn’t say that.
Smidge: (Popping out of a cake) What?! Oh, you are going down, boy! (She throws pink icing in Aspen Heitz’s face and swings him with her hair. Branch goes over to five Trolls.)
Branch: What’s that, you five other Trolls? You think you can beat Smidge in a hair tug-of-war?!
All: No way!
Smidge: (Grabbing the Trolls with her hair) It’s on, punks! (The Trolls scream as she spins them in the air while Poppy and Branch take notes. Branch goes over to Fuzzbert.)
Branch: Hey, Fuzzbert, slap me some hair. (He grabs Fuzzbert and tugs on him. He screams as he goes inside Fuzzbert’s mind.)
Fuzzling #1: (In a beeping voice) Did you find the imposter?
Branch: Huh? (More Fuzzlings appear.)
Fuzzling #2: (In a beeping voice) Did you find the imposter?
Fuzzling #3: (In a beeping voice) Did you find the imposter?
Branch: Uh… (He gets out of Fuzzbert’s mind.) Oh! (He watches as the Fuzzlings walk away.) No imposter is worth all this. (Archer appears.)
Archer: Branch, buddy, boy, have I got something to show you.
Branch: Sorry, Archer. I’m kind of busy.
Archer: Oh. But what if I told you I saw someone suspicious?
Branch: I’d say show me. Immediately.
Archer: What if I said it was someone mysterious?
Branch: I’d still want to see it.
Archer: (Clapping his hands) Shadowy and strange?!
Branch: Archer!
Archer: Oh, sorry. Got excited. Follow me. (Branch follows him.)
Branch: What the…! Archer- (He is attacked and his muffling can be heard. Meanwhile, Poppy is about to pull some Troll children’s hair.)
Poppy: Troll, Troll…
Troll Child #1: Ow!
Troll Child #2: Ow!
Poppy: Bergen! (She grabs a yellow Troll child’s hand and touches herself.) Ah. Darn. You got me. I’m up again. (laughs) Troll, Troll, Troll. (She stops pulling the children’s hair.) Well, none of you are wearing wigs.
Keith: I don’t think you understand this game at all. (Poppy sees Branch coming out of the bushes.)
Poppy: Branch.
Branch: Gah!
Poppy: Any luck?
Branch: Oh. Poppy. Uh… no. Actually, I was just following Archer, looking for someone “shadowy and mysterious”. Turns out it was his shadow.
Poppy: Oh.
Branch: Poppy, what if there really is no imposter?
Poppy: What?
Branch: Well, maybe we should try looking at this more… optimistically. (Poppy is about to faint, but he catches her.)
Poppy: Whoa! Sorry. You being optimistic, my whole world just turned upside down.
Branch: Very funny. Seriously, maybe I was being paranoid earlier. Yes, the box we found is really weird, but Troll Village is a weird place. (Guy Diamond is seen farting fireworks on four Trolls as they laugh and cheer.) I guess what I’m trying to say is…
(Branch)
Life is great, so don’t listen to Branch
Don’t listen to Branch!
Don’t listen to Branch! (He walks away.)
Poppy: Well, that was odd. But yeah, he’s right. Look at all the great stuff happening: Trolls relaxing, Trolls sunbathing, Branch tied up, Trolls playing games… Wait, what?!
Branch: IMPOSTER! (Cooper laughs and stops while trying to grab a frisbee. (The Trolls scream and gasp. Branch slams the journal shut and puts it in his vest.)
Poppy: Branch! (Branch unties himself.) But how are you…? I just…
Branch: Archer Pastry took the journal and tied me up. He’s not a Troll. He is a master of disguise and could be any one of you.
Smidge: OH, MY GUH! (Her hair lets go of the trees it was hanging on. Cooper swallows the frisbee and chokes.)
Cooper: IMPOSTER! (The other Trolls start to panic.)
Poppy: It’s happening. The freak out. (She watches the Trolls running and throwing stuff around.)
Smidge: Take shelter behind me, children! (She covers the children with her hair.)
Keith: (Getting out of Smidge’s hair) No way! You might be the imposter.
Smidge: Yeah?! Well, you might be the imposter! Or you. How about you?! I’m not the imposter! You’re the imposter! (She and Keith scream at each other along with the other Trolls.)
Aspen Heitz: It could be anyone!
Smidge: It could be you! (A Fuzzling grabs her and puts her inside.) OH, My GUH!
Guy Diamond: You’re the imposter! You give one-armed side hugs! What kind of Troll does that?! (Mr. Dinkles appears with a weapon.)
Biggie: Argh!
Mr. Dinkles: Meep. (He spins his weapon.)
Biggie: After all we’ve been through… (He screams and runs away.)
Cooper: There’s a shape-shifter! He’s here to take our souls! (He knocks over a table of food. Suddenly, the Trolls hear a tapping sound and move their heads. They see Poppy playing her cowbell.)
Poppy: Trolls, there may come a day when our courage fails, when we stop partying and make that face Branch makes sometimes, like an upside down smile. It… See? That one. Right there. (She points at Branch.) But today, is not that day. Today we work together to find this imposter. Got it!
All: Yeah!
Biggie: Tell us what we should do, Poppy!
Poppy: Turn to the Troll next to you and pull each other’s hair.
Smidge: (Jumping onto a teal male Glitter Troll) For the village! (She pulls the teal male Glitter Troll’s hair.)
Glitter Troll #2: Ow! (The other Trolls do the same thing.)
All: Ow! Ow! Ow! (Cooper laughs as Smidge pulls his hair.)
Cooper: Oh, I laugh so I don’t cry.
Creek: Aspen Heitz is the imposter! (All the Trolls gasp.)
Aspen Heitz: What?! No, I’m not! (He pulls his hair.)
Creek: Not that Aspen Heitz. This Aspen Heitz. (We see a fake Aspen Heitz.) He won’t let me pull his hair.
Aspen Heitz: Total mind-bender. Whoa. (He faints and Poppy comes over to the fake Aspen Heitz. Then she reveals a fake Branch.)
Poppy: (gasps) It’s Branch. (The Trolls gasp.)
Branch: Guys! That’s not the real me!
Guy Diamond: Oh, right. Right. (Poppy reveals a fake Biggie.)
Biggie: I can’t take this! (He faints on Mr. Dinkles.)
Mr. Dinkles: Meep. (Poppy reveals a fake Troll, a fake Bergen and a fake Cloud Guy.)
Poppy: Argh! Uh! Ya! (She sees a fake Mr. Dinkles.)
Fake Mr. Dinkles: Meep!
Poppy: Ya! (Poppy reveals a fake King Gristle Jr. and a fake Archer as a troll.)
Archer: What a kook! (She reveals that Archer is actually a Party Crasher.)
Poppy: Huh!
Archer: Ow! That’s actually me. (The Trolls gasp in horror. Branch comes over to Poppy.)
Branch: Well, you did it. You caught the imposter. So what do you wanna do with him?
Poppy: I want some answers. (At the Fun Dungeon, she gets ready to ask some questions to Archer. She bangs her fist on a table.) So, tell me everything.
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