The PTA Disbands/Quotes

:Principal Skinner: Five dollars a child? Last year it was free!
:Ticket agent: [shrugs] Mm. New ownership. [Points out sign]
:Sign: DIZ-NEE HISTORICAL PARK. SORRY, BUT THERE'S PROFIT TO BE HAD.
:Principal Skinner: Beh--But we don't have that kind of money. In fact, no school can afford--
:A double decker bus with "Shelbyville Elementary" arrives. Shelbyville's Principal Valiant departs bus
:Principal Valiant: Here's the admission, plus something for you. See that they get a little extra education, would you?
:Ticket agent: Yes, sir, Principal Valiant!
:Principal Skinner: He thinks he's so hot ever since he swept the Princi Awards. Those things are rigged.
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:Lunchlady Doris: There's very little meat in these gym mats.
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:Principal Skinner: Oh, come on, Edna! We both know these children have no future!
:[A fork drops as the children all look shocked upon Principal Skinner's declaration]
:Principal Skinner: [chuckling sheepishly] Prove me wrong, kids. Prove me wrong.
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:[After explaining to the tourists about the cannon that can goes off if hit in a sight matter]
:Female Tour Guide: For safety reasons, we don't keep the cannon loaded. It's just common sense, people.
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:[After catching Bart with his megaphone]
:Foreman w/Bart's voice: Hey, can you tell my voice from a ten-year-old? Ay caramba!
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:Edna Krabappel: Well, Seymour, because of your penny-pinching, we're coming back from a field trip with the fewest children yet.
:Principal Skinner: God bless the man who invented permission slips. [he kisses an armful of them]
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:Bart: You know, I heard Skinner say the teachers will crack any minute.
:[The teachers spread the message to one another]
:Teacher with glasses: Skinner said the teachers will crack any minute, purple monkey, dishwasher.
:Edna: Well!! We'll show him, especially for that "purple monkey dishwasher" remark!
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:Homer: Lousy teachers trying to palm off our kids on us!
:Lisa: But, Dad. By striking, they're trying to effect the change in management so that they could be more happier and more productive.
:Homer: Lisa! You don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in everyday and do it really half assed. That's the American way!
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:[Marge and Homer in bed talking about the kids]
:Marge: I'm worried about the kids, Homie. Lisa's becoming very obsessive. This morning, I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat.
:Homer: Pbbbt. I know. And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke. [eyes the machine] It just keeps going faster and faster.
:Marge: [gets out of bed and looks out the window] And Bart isn't doing very well either. He needs boundaries and structure. There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome.
:Bart: [looks at Marge from outside while flying a kite] Hello, Mother dear.
:Marge: [groans as she shuts the blinds] That's it! We have to get them back to school.
:Homer: I'm with you, Marge. [calls out] Lisa, get in here.
:Lisa: [opens the bedroom door] Uh...
:Homer: In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics! [points to the machine]
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:Jasper: Talkin' out of turn, that's a paddlin'. Lookin' out the window, that's a paddlin'. Starin' at my sandals, that's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe, oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'.
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:Abe: Oh! Oh, um, OK, um, hmm... um, here. [he turns the shaper but Jasper gets pulled further] D'oh! OK, uh, OK, let's see, um... what if I did this? [he turns it again, but with the same results] Um... you're on your own. [Abe leaves]
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:[Springfield Elementary gym. It has been deserted after the strike announcement, except for one girl hanging on gymnastics rings.]
:Girl: Helloooo? Mrs. Pommelhorse? I'd like to get down now...
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:[Moe is teaching Bart's class during the teachers' strike]
:Moe: OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath?
:[The kids laugh at him]
:Moe: Alright, settle down. Anita Bath here?
:[the laughing continues]
:Moe: Alright, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks!
:[The kids enjoy even more laughter]
:Moe: Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, Kids? Well, children, I can't help that!
:[Moe runs out crying. Bart then crosses Moe's name off a list of substitute teachers. Milhouse is impressed]
:Milhouse: Wow, Bart, I'm impressed the way you knocked off all those substitutes.
:Bart: In my weaker moments, I almost pity them. Then I just remind myself, they're trying to teach.
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:[Skinner shows up, furious with Bart's class]
:Skinner: Well, children, I don't know what you did to all those substitutes, but it's going to stop now. Leopold?
:[Vice Superintendent Leopold walks in and intimidates Bart's class]
:Leopold: [bursting in with anger] All right, you listen up, you little freaks! The fun stops here: you're going to shut your stinking traps and behave, dammit! This is one substitute you're not going to screw with!
:[Martin and Wendell swallow uncomfortably]
:Leopold: [Politely] Marge Simpson!
:[Marge happily walks in and Bart swallows uncomfortably.]
:Marge: Hi, class! Hi Bart... over here, sweetie. It's me, Mom. Hi! Hey! Hello?
:[Bart groans in embarrassment as his class (save for Milhouse) laughs at him.]
es:The PTA Disbands/Frases