Rowleys 3rd 11th birthday

197.On Rowley Jefferson's 3rd 11th birthday, it was 10.25 pm and he was tucked comfortably in bed between his snoring father and his mother, who was reading him a story called "Counting to 4." Rowley had a difficult time counting, often making mistakes even while attempting to count to one. This was the 47th book he had read that night, or as Rowley counted it, the (*&9th book since he couldn't read properly.
The excitement of his upcoming birthday made him shout in glee, "I'm going to be 11 for the third time!" Mrs. Jefferson chuckled softly at her son's enthusiasm. Rowley shared his bed not only with his parents but also with his pets. His dogs, Doggy Scoffchops, Fido, and Killer, were curled up beside him. He also had a cat named Tw#t, chosen for its rhyming sound, though some people misunderstood it as rude. Additionally, his pet wasp, Stingy, and his favorite bunny, Flopkins, along with her 6793 baby bunnies, were all sleeping in wardrobes due to their large number.
It was then that Rowley noticed his father's 2 kg bag of sleeping pills. Acting impulsively, he swallowed them all whole, causing him to suddenly fall asleep. Meanwhile, his father woke up and realized that he needed those pills to get to sleep. Panicked, he rushed out of the house in distress, causing a public disturbance. Soon, the police arrived and arrested him.
The next morning, Rowley woke up to find a room filled with presents. Excited, he began to open one, but his mother shot him in the foot with a K47, exclaiming, "We're going to Poo Land!" Rowley jumped for joy, his mind already thinking about the presents later. They activated the house robot in pet-looking-after mode and set off for Poo Land, an amusement park. Bringing Bunny Flopkins with him, Rowley's bunny mischievously teased her babies and shat on them along the way, and they curiously ate the feces.
As soon as Rowley and his mother left, Fido, one of Rowley's dogs, kicked the robot, causing the other pets to collaborate. Killer barked, alerting Fido not to eat Rowley's birthday cake. The wasp buzzed to all the pets, suggesting they choose a present for Rowley. Serendipitously, a thief opened the door to Rowley's house. Instead of stealing, the animals ran out and thanked the thief through various sounds: barks, meows, buzzes, and squeaks.
They headed into the wild with an empty box, tape, and wrapping paper, searching for a new pet. They couldn't choose an elephant or a massive African snail because Rowley's mother and father already had those as pets. They also couldn't pick a sloth or a kangaroo since Rowley's parents already behaved like them. Similarly, a pig was out of the question since Rowley's father ate like one. They ventured forth, the animals organizing themselves with purpose.
A fox appeared and seized one of Bunny Flopkins' kits, licking its lips in delight. The fox asked if Rowley wanted it as a pet, but Bunny Flopkins quickly dismissed the idea with a resounding expletive, hopping away and resuming her role as a cute bunny. Shortly after, a clothed man approached them with a strange voice, asking if Rowley was attracted to men. Fido barked, defending Rowley, while a slimy, wet frog also inquired but was ultimately rejected. Animals of all kinds tried to become Rowley's present, including a bear, another dog, a stuck bug, a spider, a can of beans, a severed arm, Liza Truss, and Adam Sandler.
Eventually, they stumbled upon a cute badger family, consisting of a mother and two cubs. The badgers were chosen, and the cubs took an instant liking to one of Bunny Flopkins' baby bunnies. As vegans, they didn't eat the bunny but rather named it Gardenweed. Placing the badger family in the box, they eagerly awaited Rowley's return.
At 9:45 pm, Rowley arrived home and began opening his gifts. He felt immense happiness receiving toys, sweets, and other goodies. However, the greatest joy came when he opened the big present from his pets. Out popped Gardenweed and the two badger cubs. Sadly, their mother had passed away due to dehydration. But Bunny Flopkins quickly suggested that they stuff the mother and turn her into a teddy bear. Rowley, mistaking Bunny Flopkins' words as his mother's, agreed, thinking it sounded like a fun idea.
He took the deceased badger to their neighbor, Pete, who was known for taxidermy and keeping animals' memories alive as stuffed teddy bears. (He had even made someone's grandmother once.) Afterward, Rowley returned to bed, surrounded by all his pets. His mother slept on the sofa willingly, content with her son's happiness. Rowley dozed off with the badgers and his beloved pets, including the baby bunnies. However, one brown-furred baby bunny was pushed off the bed by the others, who disliked him. The rejected bunny hopped away, and eventually, he joined forces with the fox in France, intending to become a gangster.
Before leaving, the bunny left a parting gift—a thump and a small pile of shit. With that, the bunny bid farewell forever, leaving behind a tale of high creativity and unexpected adventures.