Expensive Whisky, a trip to Panama, and a Whole Lot of Entertainment

Zee Barnes
January 23, 2014
The first sitting of the House looms above us. Many have been buried under stacks of paperwork while others under stacks of empty wine glasses. A little too much fun, friends? But among all that a storm brews within the SWAG party when Associate Minister of Defence, Chris MacMillan was booted from the caucus on the accusation of a spending scandal; a scandal that took him to the beaches of Panama for an all-exclusive vacation while the party’s SWAGanami gained momentum through months of work.
The auditor general is currently investigating this scandalous retreat and the public has to ask, is this the only personal expenses he is hiding? The total is rumoured to be over $50,000 after just a morning of investigation. Strippers are among the speculations. The audit also quotes “Mr. MacMillan is guilty of illegally expensing his trip to Panama for a total of $79,384.97. There is suspicion of the Minister of Administrative Affairs being involved as well in possibly having cut the check knowing of the illegality of the expense. However further investigation will be done to confirm this.”Yet most shocking of all is the butter? You read correctly. Butter. The audit report continues to specify “details are emerging that involve 42 pounds of butter be expensed on the taxpayers dime by Mr. MacMillan during his trip to Panama” One could only imagine the implications of such absurdity. I truly hope that within that spending is great suit, Mr. MacMillan… I hear STYLE may need a little more professionalism with this revolution that is about to begin. (#vegan belongs among the hipsters. Not in Parliament)
The reports and leaks coming in have been indicating that Mr. MacMillian’s political future may be in danger with the greatest question of the hour—who will take over the portfolio? Thursday’s opening remarks have a lot of promise and a weekend of tension is ahead. Pour yourselves some brandy and let’s enjoy the show.