Old 29 (Episode) (Transcript)

Barhambots	-	Episode 29
== "Old 29" ==
=== Written by Connor Banjoper. ===
 ___________________________________________________________________________
(The episode opens up on Lucy and Luan's living room on Halloween Morning, 2030 AD, where Lucy and Luan preparing their Halloween costumes for a Halloween party hosted by Faina.)
{LUCY} Tonight's the night, Luan! This party is gonna be so great!
{LUAN} Totally! It's always nice to show our party-cipation. (Giggles.) Get it?
{LUCY} Oh my goodness! That was a good one, Luan!
{LUAN} Thanks! I sure am all joked up. (Giggles.) Get it?
{LUCY} I sure do. So, what are you dressing up as? I'm going as Catra from the Netflix reboot of "She-Ra and the Princesses of Power".
{LUAN} Well, I thought about dressing up as Luan Loud from the Loud House, but I realized it wouldn't really work, given that I was based on her.... and even named after her, so that wouldn't be very original. So, that's why I'm going as Strawberry the Fox from the Blaze the Cat franchise.
{LUCY} How do you think Strawberry will react to that? She's gonna be at the party too.
{LUAN} Oh.... Didn't think about that. I'm sure she'll be cool with it. Us anthropomorphic vixens have to stick together.
{LUCY} So, what time do you plan on going trick-or-treating tonight?
{LUAN} I was thinking maybe 7:00PM. That way, we can get it done and still have time to make it to the Halloween party right on time.
{LUCY} Okay. I guess that seems late enough. Okay, let's get these costumes on and start spreading the Halloween spirit!
{LUAN} We could use this time to pull some Halloween pranks. I know just about every trick-or-treat in the book. (Giggles.) Wow, I'm on a roll!
{LUCY} (Giggles.)
{LUAN} I heard this year, she's hiring the one and only Blaze the Cat to perform her own versions of Halloween songs this year.
{LUCY} Blaze the Cat is such a great singer. She is the Miley Cyrus of the videogame industry.
{LUAN} Yeah. She knows how to heat things up. (Giggles.) Get it? 'Cause her name is Blaze.
{LUCY} Yeah, maybe that's why her name is Blaze. Because her singing voice is hot as fire.
{LUAN} I wonder if Blaze and her girls are gonna perform their own version of 5th Harmony's "I'm In Love With A Monster!" at the party.
{LUCY} I sure would love to hear that live. It's on one of Blaze's albums: "The Essential Blaze The Cat".
{LUAN} I didn't even know she had an "Essential" album, like many other artists.
{LUCY} "The Essential Blaze The Cat" is one of the best-selling albums in all of Barhamsville.
{LUAN} I should buy a copy of my own.
{LUCY} I have my own copy, if you wanna listen to it.
{LUAN} It's okay.
{LUCY} Alright.
(Lucy and Luan walk outside of the apartment as the scene cuts to Connor Banjoper further down the road, setting up a camera in hopes of capturing Old 29 on video.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Now, all I need to do is wait for 8:00PM, then start recording and let the camera capture all that happens between then and 6:00AM.
(Lucy and Luan walk up to him.)
{LUCY} Hello, Mr. Banjoper. What are you doing?
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Oh, hello there, girls. I'm setting up a camera to see if I can capture a legendary vehicle on video.
{LUAN} A legendary vehicle? Is it like a supercar or a hot rod.... or something?
{CONNOR BANJOPER} No, this vehicle is bigger than those. This vehicle is a school bus that has haunted the streets of New Kent County for years. It's known as.... Old 29.
{LUCY & LUAN} Old 29?
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Yes. Somewhere in the early 2010s, many school buses have been replaced with more modern buses because the older buses were going out of commission. Old 29 was among those buses, and it has been haunting the streets of New Kent County ever since it got back from Mexico.... which is where most of the old buses were sent after they were replaced.
{LUCY} The old buses were sent to Mexico?
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Yes, that's what the bus director told me at the depot.
{LUAN} The buses that replaced the older buses are the C2 buses that kinda look like trapezoids at the front, right?
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Yes, the C2 buses. Old 29 was one of the buses that were replaced by the C2 buses. The next generation looked like the older buses, except they were shinier, had two stop signs on its left side, and they had lights between the bumpers and the grills. Oh, and they also had white roofs.
{LUCY} Could you tell us more about Old 29?
{LUAN} Yeah. How do we know if we see it?
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Well, I'd be glad to answer both questions at once.... with a song that I wrote about this bus back in 2014. (Picks up his banjo, which is sitting next to a chair on the nearby lawn.) It'll tell you a lot about Old 29.
*Begin "Old 29" by Connor Banjoper.*
(Connor Banjoper plays his banjo to the backing track of "Old 29", which is also the backing track of "Graveyard 8" by the Penguins of Madagascar.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} ♫ Pull up a seat and listen well, while this scary tale I consign. ♫
(The scene then shows clips of Old 29 as Connor Banjoper continues singing.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} ♫ About the meanest mess of steel and wheels man ever did refine. The bus called Old 29! ♫
(Back to Connor Banjoper performing the song. Skinnydog Bamfield joins in as backing vocals.)
{SKINNYDOG} ♫ The bus called Old 29! ♫ Ha-ha! Ooh....
(Back to the footage of Old 29 haunting the roads of New Kent County.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} ♫ Runs 8 PM to 6 AM with Warren G. Harding's ghost inside! Never slowing down as it prowls the town, plowing vehicles down 'til they've died! Better run from Old 29! ♫
{SKINNYDOG} Better run from Old 29!
{RANDOM MAN IN THE FOOTAGE} Look out!
(Old 29 drives over him.)
{RANDOM MAN IN THE FOOTAGE} Aw!
(Back to Connor Banjoper.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} ♫ So hear, fear, and keep kids clear of this machine that can crush your spine! ♫
(Camera cuts to Vangelis the Numbat, suddenly appearing near Connor Banjoper.)
{VANGELIS} (Spoken.) It got one of my brothers and two of my cousins; They were all on a drive.
(The music pauses for a moment as Connor, Lucy, and Luan all stare at Vangelis.)
{VANGELIS} True story.
(The music picks back up for the last few measures, as we see a clip of Old 29 approaching the camera with Connor and Skinnydog in front of the clip.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER & SKINNYDOG} ♫ The bus called Old 29! ♫
(Old 29 drives right over the camera in the clip.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} (Pretends to use a whip.) Yah!
*End "Old 29" by Connor Banjoper.*
(The camera cuts to Lucy and Luan looking at Connor Banjoper.)
{LUCY} Old 29 sounds very dangerous.
{LUAN} Yeah. Sounds like it could drive you to insanity. (Giggles.) Get it? 'Cause it can be driven.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Well, you won't be laughing if Old 29 comes driving through at a high speed. If you're driving on one of New Kent County's roads, and you see a school bus with an orange glow coming up behind you, I'd advise you to pull over in order to avoid getting hit by it.
{LUCY} An orange glow? Wait a minute.... That reminds me of seven months ago, when I was driving home from Providence Forge one night.
(The scene flashes back to the night of March 23, 2030 AD, where Lucy is driving down the eastbound side of US-60 while "Hardcore Girls" by Rye Rye is playing on the radio.)
{LUCY} Man, that cookout held by New Kent High School sure was fun. I can't wait to get home and tell everyone about it. I'm sure they'd be interested to know.
(The camera briefly cuts to show a bird-eye view of Lucy passing a slower-moving car, before getting back in the right lane, right as Old 29 is approaching them. Then, the camera cuts to the driver's side of Lucy's car, where Old 29 rapidly speeds past her, frightening her (and probably the driver of the other car as well).)
{LUCY} (Screams in fright as she taps the brake pedal for a solid second.) What the heck was that?!? That was too fast for this road! Hope nobody dies because of that.
(The scene flashes back to the present.)
{LUCY} Do you think that was Old 29?
{LUAN} It probably was. I mean, it matches the description Connor Banjoper gave us. Orange glow, not slowing down, very dangerous.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} It very well may have been. Old 29 haunts the streets of New Kent County every single night since it came back from Mexico. So, when you're trick-or-treating on Halloween night, be wary of this ghoulish school bus, and if you see it coming your way, for Heaven's sake, stay out of the road! Or else, you'll see the Pearly Gates much earlier than you intended to.
{LUCY} Thanks for warning us about Old 29, Mr. Banjoper. We'll be sure to be careful and drive safely in New Kent County now.
{LUAN} Yeah. Don't wanna end up like that numbat's family he mentioned.
{LUCY} I didn't think animal robots would have that big of a family, considering.... you know. We're robots.
{LUAN} Hey, it could happen, if that's what Connor Banjoper intended.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Yeah, I have a pretty unique imagination. I could change the lives of everyone in this universe if I wanted to. After all, this is the Banjoper Universe.
{LUCY} We'll see you later, Mr. Banjoper.
{LUAN} Yeah, nice seeing you!
{CONNOR BANJOPER} I'll see you girls later too. I've got some important work to do today.... and tomorrow.
(Lucy and Luan continue walking down the sidewalk as Connor Banjoper finishes setting up the camera. Then, the scene cuts to a timelapse of the sun setting on suburban Barhamsville before cutting to Lucy and Luan trick-or-treating at Jeremias Cuyler's house at 7:53PM.)
{LUCY & LUAN} Trick or treat!
{JEREMIAS} (Unenthusiastically.) Aren't you girls a little old for this stuff?
{LUCY} Maybe, but we think it's fun!
{LUAN} Yes. We may be young adults, but that doesn't stop us from having fun like younger children would.
{JEREMIAS} Eh, whatever. (Picks up a candy bowl and gives some candy to each Lucy and Luan.) Here's your candy, young ladies. Eat it wisely.
{LUCY} Thank you, Mr. Cuyler!
{LUAN} Yeah! Tell Tomas we said hi!
{JEREMIAS} You're welcome.
(Lucy and Luan walk towards the viewers' left as Jeremias closes the door, and the camera briefly cuts to him on the other side.)
{JEREMIAS} Where is my sorry excuse for a son when I need him for something?
(The camera then cuts back to Lucy and Luan checking their Halloween candy.)
{LUCY} We sure hit the jackpot this year!
{LUAN} You bet we did!
{LUCY} Now that we got trick-or-treating out of the way, let's head to Faina's house for the Halloween party.
{LUAN} Halloween party, here we come!
(Lucy and Luan racewalk towards Faina's house as the scene cuts to the entrance of (Junkyard TBA), where the area is dark for a few seconds. Then, we hear the sound of a bus engine starting up, followed by seeing a bright, orange glow. Then, headlights are seen approaching the front gate of the junkyard before none other than Old 29 emerges from the entrance/exit. Then, Old 29 proceeds to turn left onto (Road TBA) before the camera cuts to the intersection of (Intersection TBA), where Old 29 runs a red traffic light and T-bones an SUV in the southwest-bound side, causing the SUV to drfit for a few seconds before coming to a stop just after passing that side's traffic light. Old 29, however, continues driving down New Kent Highway as the scene then cuts to Faina's house 40 minutes later, where the Halloween party is being held, and Blaze the Cat and her female friends are performing their version of "I'm In Love With A Monster!" by Fifth Harmony.)
{BLAZE} ♫ He'd buy me a thorn before he'd buy a rose. Covered in dirt before I'm covered in gold. He's trying it on; yeah, he's ticking me out. Say what you want, but I won't ever be told. 'Cause I'm in love with a monster! ♫
{COLETTE} ♫ Friends say I'm stupid and I'm out of my mind! But without you, boy I'd be bored all the time! No, I don't really care for the same conversation. Got everything I need, and I'd rather be chasing, chasing love with a monster! ♫
(The female Blaze Characters continue their performance as the camera cuts to Faina and Ruby drinking glasses of soda by the concession table.)
{FAINA} So, you enjoying this party or what?
{RUBY} Totally! Halloween is my second favorite holiday, right behind Christmas.
{FAINA} Yeah. After this is over, everyone's gonna be preparing for Christmas, even though we still have Thanksgiving to celebrate before that.
{RUBY} Yeah, I also do that. After Halloween ends, I just want it to be Christmas season already, so I don't really have time to worry about Thanksgiving.
{FAINA} I don't blame you.
{RUBY} Me neither. (Chuckles.)
{FAINA} I love Halloween.
{RUBY} Me too.
(Faina and Ruby tap their glasses together as the camera cuts to the male Blaze Characters watching the female Blaze Characters perform.)
{BRONZE} (Cheering.) Strawberry! That's my girl!
{GRIGIO} Remarkable performance, ladies!
{LAPIS} Encore!
{GLOOMY} (Quietly, but proudly.) I like Orris.
{RUST} (Towards the female Blaze Characters.) Let them hear your voices!
(Then, Luan walks over to them.)
{LUAN} Hey, boys! How's it going?
{BRONZE} Hey, Luan! Nice costume!
{LUAN} Thanks. It's a costume of Strawberry.
{BRONZE} (Silent for one second.) Wait, what....?
{LUAN} Cool costume, Gloomy. Did Orris choose to Dracula the way over here? (Giggles.) Get it?
{GLOOMY} (Apathetically as usual.) Hilarious.
{LUAN} Bronze, if you're offended by my costume, I apologize. I just thought it'd be cute.
{BRONZE} No, it's okay. I actually like your Strawberry costume. It's Strawberry herself you need to worry about.
{LUAN} Well, I'm sure she'll be okay with it. It's not like I'm insulting her or anything.
{GRIGIO} She's got a point, Bronze. You don't see Blaze getting angry over people dressing as her.
{LAPIS} Yeah, Blaze isn't bothered by it.
{GLOOMY} But, she is annoyed by people who ship her with other Sonic Characters; especially since she's obviously married to Lester Plesko.
{BRONZE} Yeah, she hates that.
{LUAN} So, are you boys just visiting for Halloween, or do y'all still live here?
{RUST} We Blaze Characters all still live here. It's just that whenever we have to work on a project, we have to stay in Irvine, California, because that's where SEGA's headquarters are.
{GRIGIO} Yeah, they can't make games without us.
{LAPIS} I'm glad Connor Banjoper convinced them to do so.
(Lucy comes in next to Luan.)
{LUCY} Hey, Luan. Look what I found at the concession table. (Holds up a giant piece of candy corn.) Giant candy corn!
{LUAN} Wow! That's great! I love candy corn!
{LUCY} Me too! I got one for each of us. (Hands Luan her piece.) Do you think it'll fit in our mouths?
{LUAN} I dunno, Candy corn fit in our mouths? (Giggles.) Get it?
{LUCY} Yeah! (Giggles.)
{BRONZE} I get it!
{GRIGIO} I, too, understand that joke.
{LAPIS} So do I.
{LUAN} I'm glad you boys like it.
{LAPIS} No problem.
{BRONZE} You're welcome.
{LUAN} Thank you,
{LUCY} Shall we?
{LUAN} We shall!
(Lucy and Luan put the giant candy corn in their mouths and start chewing it.)
{LUCY} (Mouth full.) Yum. Candy corn.
{LUAN} (Mouth full.) I know, right?
(Then, the camera cuts to Gertorn, Samar, and Tomas looking at dead corpses being used as Halloween decorations.)
{GERTORN} Woah! These decayed corpses are so realistic! It's almost as if they were actually alive at one point.
{SAMAR} I know! Those decoration makers are always getting newer ideas every year.
{TOMAS} I wonder where she got these things. I can't find any price tags on them, or anything indicative.
(Faina walks into the scene.)
{FAINA} Hey, boys.
{SAMAR} Hey, Faina. Where'd you get these realistic corpses?
{TOMAS} Yeah, there's no indicator of their store or manufacturer.
{FAINA} Ruby made them for me.
{GERTORN} Wow. I didn't know Ruby made Halloween decorations.
{FAINA} Yeah, these three corpses were originally the bodies of Barhambot-hating Steam Community users that Ruby killed in the past year.
(The next three lines are said simultaneously.)
{TOMAS} (Disgusted.) Wha-Ew!
{GERTORN} (Disgusted.) Ougha!
{SAMAR} (Disgusted.) Aw.... that's sick, woman!
{TOMAS} No wonder they're so realistic!
{GERTORN} That's wicked!
{SAMAR} Gross!
{FAINA} Hey, Ruby's the one who made them. Don't get mad with me. Plus, I think it's pretty cool.
(All three boys walk away in disgust as the camera then cuts to Rags and Frida dancing along to the song being performed by the female Blaze Characters.)
{RAGS} I sure love this song!
{FRIDA} Me too! Ruby and I listen to it at least thrice a month!
{RAGS} This song releases my inner girl!
{FRIDA} What girl doesn't love this song? Even Faina loves it!
{RAGS} Connor Banjoper says this is his second favorite song, right after "Thriller".
{FRIDA} That's funny, because Faina has the exact same two favorite songs in that order.
{RAGS} I think Connor Banjoper and Faina might have a connection.
{FRIDA} They may as well have one.
(Then, the camera cuts to Skinnydog and Luna Bamfield rocking out to the song as well.)
{SKINNYDOG} I love this song!
{LUNA} Me too, bro! Just like October 2016, eh?
{SKINNYDOG} You bet! 2016 was such an awesome year!
{LUNA} If only we had met during that year, and not the year after.
{SKINNYDOG} Yeah, 2016 is the year your family was introduced to the rest of the world, right?
{LUNA} Yeah, bro! I remember as if it was 14 years ago.
{SKINNYDOG} It was 14 years ago, girl.
{LUNA} Exactly, bro!
{BLAZE} (Offscreen.) Hit me! Hit me! Hit me! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8! Hey!
(The final chords of the song play as the camera cuts to the female Blaze Characters onstage.)
{BLAZE} Thank you!
{BRONZE} (In the crowd.) You're welcome!
{BLAZE} Goodnight!
(The female Blaze Characters strike poses for the final note of the song. The crowd cheers and applauds as the female Blaze Characters hold their poses for three more seconds before turning around and walking backstage.)
{BLAZE} (To the crowd.) Thanks so much, everyone! We're gonna head backstage for a short break, so enjoy the rest of the party! We'll see you all again shortly!
(The camera then cuts to another room, where the female Blaze Characters are taking a break from their performance.)
{CALLA} That was awesome! I love performing that song!
{STRAWBERRY} Me too, girl! That song is one of the best.
{LUNAR} It most certainly is.
(Then, Lucy and Luan come into the room.)
{LUCY} Hey, girls. How's it going?
{LUAN} Nice to see y'all.
{BLAZE} Lucy and Luan. Great to see you two! We're doing wonderful, thanks for asking.
(Blaze and Lucy put their arms around each other and somewhat hug each other.)
{LUAN} Strawberry, can I ask you something?
{STRAWBERRY} Absolutely, Luan. What is it?
{LUAN} Are you okay with me wearing this costume of you?
{STRAWBERRY} Well, of course I am. I actually like that they made costumes of us Blaze Characters.... including myself.
{LUAN} Oh, thank goodness. I was worried you'd be offended by it.
{STRAWBERRY} Why would I be offended by it? I think it's cool. Plus, coincidentally, I'm going as you this year.
{LUAN} Wow, seriously?
{STRAWBERRY} Yeah. I have my costume of you under this leotard Blaze told me to wear for this concert.
{LUAN} Wow. I didn't know they made costumes of us Barhambots.
{LUCY} Me neither. Did you get it on the merchandise website Connor Banjoper made for the series several months ago?
{STRAWBERRY} Yep. An authentic Luan costume for only $22.55.
{LUCY} That's amazing, Strawberry.
{LUAN} Yeah. I think that's nice.
{STRAWBERRY} No problem. I think your costume of me is nice too.
{LUAN} I appreciate it. Thanks.
{STRAWBERRY} Welcome.
{ORRIS} Maybe Lucy should go as Blaze next year.
{BLAZE} Well, I'd be flattered by that.
{LUCY} Great idea. I'll be sure to remember that for next year when I head home in the morning.
{ORRIS} Better early than on time.
(Then, the scene cuts to Faina sitting next to Davide on the living room couch.)
{DAVIDE} I love you, Faina.
{FAINA} I love you too, Davide.
{DAVIDE} I'm so glad I have the privilege of being your boyfriend.
{FAINA} I'm so glad you came all the way from Chicago to celebrate Halloween with us.
{DAVIDE} No problem. I'll even come back in one-and-a-half months to celebrate Christmas with you.
{FAINA} That's quite considerate of you, Davide.
{DAVIDE} I'd do anything to be with you, Faina. You're the best girl I've ever met.
{FAINA} You're the best boy I've ever met.
{DAVIDE} I'm glad I am.
(Faina and Davide kiss each other as Ruby walks up to them from the viewers' right.)
{RUBY} Hey, Faina, we're out of ginger ale at the concession table. Do you have anymore handy tonight?
{FAINA} Well, I do have a few more bottles in my car. I can walk out and get them real quick.
{DAVIDE} I could do it, if you want. I'd be happy to make a contribution to this party's existence.
{FAINA} Oh, alright, then. Here are the keys to my car. (Hands Davide the car keys.)
{DAVIDE} Thanks, babe. Anything for you.
{FAINA} My pleasure. Make it quick, and don't take too long, okay?
{DAVIDE} You got it!
{FAINA} Okay.
(Davide walks out to Faina's car.)
{FAINA} (To Ruby.) I sure love him. I'm glad I have a special guy like him.
{RUBY} I know. I feel the same way about Tomas. There's just something about him that I find attractive. Possibly our similar personalities, but maybe his physical appearance as well.
{FAINA} I met Davide on a bus to Chicago, and we took it from there.
{RUBY} That's interesting.
(The camera panels to the right to show Luna Bamfield near Ruby. Ruby then notices that Luna is dressed as her, before Luna looks up and notices that Ruby is dressed as her.)
{RUBY & LUNA} (Surprised.) Hey....
(The camera cuts to Davide approaching Faina's car with the keys. Davide unlocks the car with the remote lock button, and then opens the left side rear passenger door, where the spare 2-liter soda bottles are.)
{DAVIDE} Alright. Let's get the ginger ale in the house and let it be drank by whoever pours it in their cups.
(Then, Davide grabs two ginger ale bottles and then closes the car door. As he begins walking back to the house, he notices a bright orange glow coming from the side of the road Faina's car is facing away from.)
{DAVIDE} What is that?
(The orange glow gets brighter and brighter until we see two headlights approach Davide, followed by the image of the front of Old 29. The camera then shows Davide's frightened face as Old 29 approaches him.)
{DAVIDE} (Terrified.) What the heck is that vehicle?!?
(The camera then cuts back to Davide's perspective of Old 29 quickly approaching him right before the scene turns black with dozens of stars shooting out from nowhere, with a metallic pounding sound in the foreground. Then, the scene cuts back to the party, where Ruby and Luna are conversating as Faina continues to sit on the couch.)
{RUBY} Well, this is a crazy coincidence. Didn't think any of us would dress up as each other.
{LUNA} I know, right? I heard the same thing happened between Strawberry and Luan the Foxes just tonight too.
{RUBY} Tell me about it! It's a small world.
{LUNA} I bet it is.
(Then, Lunar runs into the scene looking mortified.)
{LUNAR} Faina! You gotta help your boyfriend! He just got hit by a school bus!
{FAINA} (Horrified.) What?!? Oh my gosh! (Stands up and runs towards the front door.)
{RUBY} Oh, dear Lord!
{SKINNYDOG} (Comes into the scene from the viewers' right.) What happened?
{LUNA} Faina's boyfriend just got hit by a school bus, dude!
{SKINNYDOG} (Shocked gasp.) Was it Old 29? I'll bet it was Old 29!
{LUNAR} I saw it happen from inside the breakroom! He was getting drinks out of Faina's car, and he didn't get out of the road.
{TOMAS} (Suddenly appears from the viewers' left.) Well, that was stupid of him not to get out of the road.
(The camera cuts to the front yard of Faina's house, where everyone is coming out to watch the aftermath of the hit-and-run incident, and Faina is running out to check on Davide, who is lying in the middle of the road after being hit by Old 29.)
{FAINA} (Worried.) Davide! Are you okay? (Runs up to Davide and picks him up by the head.) Speak to me! Please be alive, so I won't have to worry more than I already am!
{DAVIDE} (Barely awake.) Faina.... Help me. Call an ambulance for me. (Groans in pain.)
{FAINA} Davide, please stay alive. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you alive and healthy. Don't worry. Help is on the way for you.
{DAVIDE} Faina.... Incase I don't make it out alive.... I just wanna let you know.... I love you.
{FAINA} I love you too, Davide. I'll be very devastated if you die from your injuries.
{DAVIDE} Help....
{COLETTE} (Offscreen.) Someone call an ambulance, pronto!
{RUBY} (Offscreen.) I'm already on it!
(The scene then fades to seven minutes later, where two paramedics are transporting Davide into their ambulance by a gurney. Faina is watching it all, very worried about Davide's condition and health.)
{FAINA} Oh, dear gosh! I can't believe that happened to him. I hope he's okay.
{RUBY} He'll be okay, Faina. I don't think his injuries are that bad.
{FAINA} How would you know? Have you ever once been hit by a haunted school bus in the middle of the night before? (Silent for one second.) Yeah, didn't think so.
{RUBY} Faina, I've never seen you this emotional over anything before. Usually, you'd just be apathetic over tragic events like this.
{FAINA} This tragic event happened to a cheetah! Cheetahs are my favorite animal! I always get upset if one suffers a disastrous incident like this!
{RUBY} Hey, Faina. It'll be okay. I'm sure Davide will recover as quickly as possible, and he'll be the exact same loving man he was before he got hit by Old 29. But, if he becomes abusive, I'll be ready to take him down.
{FAINA} We need to stop this bus named Old 29! Not just for the good of all of New Kent County, but because it's personal! I am not going to let that traveling road hazard get away with injuring my love interest!
{RUBY} But, we're right in the middle of the Halloween party. Who's gonna run it while you're after Old 29?
{FAINA} I'll tell you what'll happen.
(Faina turns to the other partygoers.)
{FAINA} Everyone listen up! This year's house party is gonna have to come to a halt earlier than the usual time. For the rest of this Halloween night, we're taking the party on the road, because we have a haunted school bus to catch, and a loving boyfriend to avenge. If any of you have an RV, we all need to get into it and chase down Old 29 and bring whoever's haunting it to justice. I will not put up with what happened to Davide here tonight. That bus is going down!
(Everyone clamors with mixed feelings.)
{SKINNYDOG} I think Connor Banjoper might be able to provide us with his RV, so we can all get into it and chase Old 29 down.
{LUNA} Great idea, Skinny. Let's call him right now and get that RV over here.
{SKINNYDOG} You got it! (Takes out his cellphone and dials Connor Banjoper's phone number.)
(The scene pinwheels to Connor Banjoper arriving at the scene with his RV. Once the RV comes to a complete stop, Connor Banjoper gets out.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Alright. This RV should be able to help you track down Old 29 and stop it from haunting the streets of New Kent County. Be careful, though, 'cause you might hurt yourselves trying to run it off the road.
{LUCY} Thanks, Mr. Banjoper. We're glad you're always there to help us when we need it most.
{LUAN} Yes, your assistance is most welcome in our lives.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} It's okay, girls. I am your dedicated protector within this universe.
{RUBY} So, who's gonna be driving this thing when we're after Old 29?
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Well, that's for y'all to decide. Though, I'd suggest that Faina doesn't drive the RV. That way, she won't ruin her just about perfect driving record when she's battling Old 29.
{RUBY} Okay, how about I drive? I'm not that concerned about my driving record, so I'd be happy to risk my life for this.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Okay....
{FAINA} (Offscreen.) Everyone, get on!
(Everyone except Connor Banjoper gets into the RV. Then, Ruby starts the engine and prepares to leave.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} One more thing, Ruby. Make sure you don't damage Old 29 too badly. I might wanna use it for a lounge room or something.
{RUBY} I'll take note of that, Connor Banjoper. Alright, let's go rear-end that school bus's rear-end!
(Everyone on the RV, except Faina, applauds as the RV drives forward and begins its mission to defeat Old 29 and Warren G. Harding's ghost. Connor Banjoper watches the RV drive down the road.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} I sure hope they all make it back alive with as minimal injuries as possible.
(Then, the scene fades to the RV driving down (the same road the wrecked SUV is on) at 9:39PM as the vast majority of the guests are partying inside, as Ruby drives and Faina searches for Old 29 on the road.)
{FAINA} If my estimations are correct, Old 29 should appear on this road any minute, and we should be able to put a stop to it and avenge my poor boyfriend who it hit.
{RUBY} If we see if out here, we'll drive after it and hopefully run it off the road somewhere in the grass.
{FAINA} Well, keep an eye out for it. I wanna take it down while we still have the chance. If we wait until 6 AM, the ghost who's driving it will be gone, and then we'll have to wait even longer to fight it.
{RUBY} Don't worry, Faina. We won't let that ol' haunted school bus get away with running over your boyfriend.
{FAINA} I sure hope Davide survives his injuries. I'd be permanently depressed if he died from them.
{RUBY} He'll live. You'll be fine.
{FAINA} He did not deserve that!
{RUBY} We know he did not deserve it, but he'll probably be fine by tomorrow afternoon.
(Silence for seven seconds before we suddenly see red, white, and blue police lights reflecting off the RV's windshield.)
{RUBY} What's going on there?
{FAINA} I don't know. Looks like an accident happened or something.
(The camera briefly cuts to the living room of the RV, where Lucy and Luan overhear what Faina just said.)
{LUCY} Wait, an accident?
{LUAN} There was a wreck up ahead?
{TOMAS} No way, really?
{GERTORN} I wanna see it!
(Everyone behind the driver's seat looks out the right-side window of the RV as it passes the scene of two police cars and a tow truck attending to the SUV that was hit by Old 29 at the beginning of its nightly journey. Then, after the RV is completely past the accident, it continues driving down (that road) as it makes its way to the eastbound side of Interstate 64.)
{RUBY} Do you think Old 29 did that?
{FAINA} It could've. I only saw one wrecked car there, so either Old 29 hit it and ran, or another car did.
{RUBY} I sure feel sorry for the driver of that SUV.
{FAINA} I don't think they were killed or injured.
(Then, the scene briefly cuts to a view of a stretch of Eltham Road that the RV had already driven past (before the scene of the accident). A bright, orange glow fades into the viewers' right for five seconds before Old 29 speeds down the road towards the viewers' left, where the orange glow fades away. Then, the scene cuts right back to everyone at the party (sans Davide) inside the RV, partying.)
{FRIDA} I'm surprised every single character who attended the party could fit in thie particular RV.
{RAGS} I know! I didn't think this RV could fit that many people at one time.
{FRIDA} It's too bad we had to shut down the Halloween party way earlier than usual.
{RAGS} Yeah, I wanted to go all the way to 6:00AM like we usually do. I guess we can't always get what we want in our lives.
{FRIDA} Yep. Even being made entirely of Samarium can't help me get my way every single time.
{RAGS} You're so lucky, you know that?
(The camera briefly cuts to the right side of the highway, where Old 29's bright orange glow is fading in from the viewers' left and approaching the RV. Three seconds later, Old 29 rapidly speeds past the RV, which surprises everyone in it, as seen when the camera cuts back to the driver's seat of the RV.)
{FAINA} That was it! Go after it! Now!
(Ruby then steps on the gas, and the RV accelerates to catch up with Old 29. The camera then shows the RV slowly approaching Old 29. Then, the camera pans up to show the road dividing into the entrances to both sides of Interstate 64. The camera then cuts to Faina and Ruby in the cab of the RV.)
{FAINA} It's headed for the Interstate! Everyone brace yourselves!
(The camera shows a bird-eye view of the entrance ramp to Interstate 64 as both vehicles drive down it and onto the aforementioned Interstate. Then, the two vehicles are shown driving on the Interstate, which fortunately for them, has a sparse amount of cars on it.)
{RUBY} Alright, we're gonna run this bus off the road first chance we get!
(The RV accelerates towards Old 29 as the latter speeds through the light traffic on the Interstate, prompting several cars to honk their horns at it (but not the RV).)
{RUBY} It's getting away from us! We gotta get past this traffic if we wanna stop that bus!
{FAINA} Well, fortunately this is not my driving record I'm sabotaging. I'd rather maintain my status as "second safest driver in the universe", with the first being Josefina O'Rava, who also lives in Barhamsville.
{RUBY} Don't worry, Faina. I would never let you sabotage your own driving record. Friends don't let friends become rate-suckers.
{FAINA} Thank you, Ruby.
{RUBY} You're welcome, Faina.
{FAINA} Good thing you don't even give a darn about your driving record.
{RUBY} That's right! Road safety laws, prepare to be ignored!
(Ruby steps on the gas pedal once more and proceeds to drive right in the middle of the eastbound side of the Interstate (like, right on the white lines). This time, only one car honks its horn at the RV. The RV slowly approaches Old 29 from behind. Then, once the RV makes contact with Old 29, Ruby turns the wheel in the correct way to perform a rear-end PIT manuever. Old 29 veers to the left for four second before the RV fully knocks it off its course and forces it into the grass median of the Interstate, where it ends up slowing to 20 MPH down before running into a nearby oak tree. The RV pulls over to the other shoulder and slowly comes to a complete stop, allowing other cars to pass it by. After Ruby turns the hazard lights on, everyone celebrates the (presumed) defeat of Old 29.)
{RUBY} We did it! We stopped Old 29!
{FAINA} Yeah! That'll teach it for hurting my boyfriend.
{RUBY} Now, that bus will stay off the roads of New Kent County for as long as we live.
{FAINA} At least it can't hurt anyone anymore.
(The camera cuts to the living room of the RV.)
{LAPIS} Wow! We just took down a school bus!
{BRONZE} I know, man! That's crazy!
{COLETTE} At least the roads of New Kent County are safe now.
{CHOCOLATE} I'll say.
(Skinnydog and Luna kiss each other.)
{SKINNYDOG} I love you, Luna.
{LUNA} I love you too, Skinnydog.
(Skinnydog and Luna kiss each other again as the camera cuts back to the cab.)
{FAINA} Alright, I think it's safe to head home now. I think Old 29 is off the road for the night.
{RUBY} Yeah, let's turn around and go back the way we came.
(Then, we hear the sounds of two cars crashing two seconds apart from each other.)
{RUBY} What was that?!?
{FAINA} Sounds like another accident happened.
{RUBY} Oh, I hope the drivers are okay.
(Then, something hits the RV from behind, startling everyone except Faina, who just looks behind to see what's happening.)
{LUCY} (From the RV's living room.) What was that?!?
{GRIGIO} (From the RV's living room.) Dear Lord!
{TOMAS} (From the RV's living room.) Something hit us!
{BLAZE} (From the RV's living room.) Great balls of fire!
{FAINA} Uh-oh.
(The camera then cuts to the back of the RV, where Old 29 is rear-ending the RV as Warren G. Harding's ghost emerges from the roof.)
{WARREN G. HARDING'S GHOST} (Deep voice.) You have disturbed my nightly excursion, and now you shall pay for it!
(The camera briefly shows the headlights of Old 29, now ressembling angry eyes. Faina sits back down in the passenger seat.)
{FAINA} We gotta get outta here right now! Quickly! Go!
(Ruby turns off the hazard lights and accelerates onto the Interstate, where Old 29 soon begins chasing them. The camera then cuts to the living room of the RV.)
{ORRIS} What's happening?
{RAGS} Old 29 is chasing after us!
{SAMAR} We interrupted it's nightly drive!
{BRONZE} Oh, that's not good!
(Back to Faina and Ruby.)
{RUBY} How do we escape it?
{FAINA} I think we have to outrun it or something.
{RUBY} Sounds good to me! Let's do it!
{FAINA} Hurry! If it catches up, it might kill us!
{RUBY} How far to the next exit?
{FAINA} About five miles.
{RUBY} Alright, then we'll just have to avoid him as best as we can until then.
{FAINA} Sounds like a plan.
(The RV drives rapidly past several cars on the Interstate; two of which honk their horns. Then, the scene cuts to Connor Banjoper watching the traffic on Farmers Drive drive by with a caption reading "Five Minutes Later...." fading in and out onscreen.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} I sure hope everyone who borrowed my RV tonight is okay. Maybe they stopped Old 29 in its tracks, or maybe it got away. Who knows? I sure hope no-one gets hurt.
(Connor Banjoper continues watching the traffic for 13 seconds before the scene cuts back to the RV being chased by Old 29.)
{GERTORN} (From inside the RV.) Y'know, the funny thing is that earlier we were chasing Old 29, and now it's chasing us!
(Camera cuts to the living room of the RV.)
{TOMAS} Yeah. We were trying to stop it from haunting New Kent County.... as well as avenge Davide.... and now it's trying to stop us to get revenge for messing up its night route.
{LUCY} (To Faina and Ruby.) Please tell us that the exit is coming up!
{RUBY} We've got half a mile to go, so hang in there a little longer!
{FAINA} At least when we get off the Interstate, no-one else will be in danger.
(The camera cuts to show the RV with its right turn signal on as it takes Exit #227 off of Interstate 64, with Old 29 following a few dozen yards behind it. Then, the camera cuts to both vehicles entering Barhamsville Road, where the pursuit continues.)
{RUBY} (Inside the RV.) Where's the nearest grassy area or whatever?
{FAINA} (Inside the RV.) It should be somewhere nearby. It probably won't take long to find it.
(As Barhamsville Road narrows into New Kent Highway/Old Stage Road, Faina and Ruby search for the nearest grassy field as they continue to evade Old 29. Then, the camera cuts to conveniently placed field of grass right before the border between New Kent County and James City County (where the city limits of Barhamsville happen to be). The RV quickly approaches the aforementioned field.)
{RUBY} (Inside the RV.) There's a field! Let's turn onto the nearest turnoff.
(The left turn signal of the RV comes on, and once the RV reaches the nearest available intersection (a dirt road), it waits for a car to pass before turning onto the dirt road. Old 29 is right behind the RV by 100 feet, and proceeds to turn left as well. Unfortunately, Warren G. Harding's ghost fails to notice an oncoming U.S. military car passing through, and the military car ends up wrecking into Old 29, causing it to overturn and flip upside-down right into the field. Then, the camera cuts back to the cab of the RV, where Faina and Ruby notice that Old 29 has overturned.)
{RUBY} Quickly! There's a vacuum cleaner somewhere in this RV. Someone find it, and give it to me before the school bus gets back up on its wheels.
{LUNAR} (From the RV's living room.) Oh, you mean this? (Hands the vacuum cleaner to Ruby from the living room.) I have it right here.
{RUBY} Oh, thank you, Lunar. (Takes the vacuum cleaner and gets out of the RV.)
(Camera briefly cuts to the RV's living room once more.)
{LUNAR} You're welcome, Ruby!
{LUNA} Wait, I thought she said that to me.
{LUNAR} Well, there's the difference. You're Luna, and I'm Lunar. You understand?
{LUNA} Yeah, it's just that R at the end of Luna. That's gonna get real confusing, girl.
{LUNAR} (Ducks her head down.) Why did Connor Banjoper name me this way?
(The camera then cuts to Ruby approaching the upside-down Old 29, where she opens the doors and points the vacuum cleaner at Warren G. Harding's ghost.)
{WARREN G. HARDING'S GHOST} (Notices Ruby.) Huh?
{RUBY} Suck on this, phantom menace! (Turns on the vacuum cleaner.)
{WARREN G. HARDING'S GHOST} No-o-o-o-o-o! (Gets sucked into the vacuum cleaner.)
{RUBY} (Turns off the vacuum cleaner.) One-Eyed Ruby is cool and groovy, motherf***er!
(Ruby stares for five more seconds before the scene fades to an hour later, where the Barhamsville Police Department is turning Old 29 back onto its wheels as Connor Banjoper congratulates Faina and Ruby for stopping Old 29. And a tow truck is hooking up the wrecked U.S. military vehicle.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Faina and Ruby, I just wanna tell you girls that I, Connor Banjoper, on behalf of all of Barhamsville, would like to congratulate you two for liberating all New Kent County's public roads from the clutches of Old 29.
{FAINA} We appreciate the honor, Connor Banjoper. This Halloween will probably be one of the best ones of my entire life.
{RUBY} Yeah, that was pretty fun, chasing Old 29, and being chased by Old 29, and sucking out the ghost that haunted it. Y'know.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} To reward you for your courage, I'm giving you girls each a quarter-million dollars in cash for you to use however you'd like. (Hands Faina and Ruby $250,000 in cash each.)
{FAINA} Well, thanks, Connor. I'll use this to save up for important expenses.
{RUBY} Not me. I'm gonna use this money to go on a really expensive shopping spree. Next time you see me, I might just drive in with a brand new hot road in my possesion.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Well, if you ever need any more money from me, I'd be happy to provide it for you. But, don't ask too often, 'cause that's just taking advantage.... which I myself am known to do at times.
{RUBY} Of course you do.
{FRIDA} (Calls from the RV.) What about us? We came along too!
{RUBY} You guys didn't do anything helpful!
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Hey, Ruby can I have a moment with Faina, please?
{RUBY} Absolutely, Connor Banjoper. Take all the time you need.
(Ruby walks back to the RV as Connor Banjoper whispers something in Faina's ear.)
{CONNOR BANJOPER} (Whispering.) Faina, don't tell any of the other Barhambots, but of all the Barhambots with major or recurring roles in this show, you're my favorite.
{FAINA} (Blushes with delight.) Wow. I didn't know you felt that way about me. (Giggles.) I won't tell the other Barhambots, Connor.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Oh, and incase you're wondering, Davide is going to be alive and okay. He is expected to fully recover by November 14th, 2030 AD.
{FAINA} (Relieved.) Oh, thank God! I don't know what I'd do without him! Thank you, Connor Banjoper, and all the staff at the hospital.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} You're welcome, Faina Spottington. By the way, you look pretty cute in your Crimson costume, Faina.
{FAINA} Thank you.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} You're welcome. Well, I'd best be going now. Got other business to take care of.
}FAINA} Okay, then. I guess I'll see you later then.
{CONNOR BANJOPER} So long.
(Faina walks back to the RV as Connor Banjoper takes a look at Old 29.)
{OFFICER DOUNETS} Hey, Mr. Banjoper. What do you wanna do with this old school bus here?
{CONNOR BANJOPER} Just bring it to my house. I'll put it to good use for my own purposes.
{OFFICER CRAME} Alright, then.
{OFFICER DOUNETS} Mayor Banjoper's house it is.
(The Barhamsville Police Department continues to prop Old 29 back up as the scene cuts to the Barhamsville hospital the next morning, where Davide is laying in a hospital bed with a cast on his right arm and an ice bag on his head.)
{DAVIDE} That was really messed up. Ouch.
(Faina walks in and checks on Davide.)
{FAINA} Hi, Davide.
{DAVIDE} Hey, Faina. I missed you.
{FAINA} I missed you too. I'm glad you're okay.
{DAVIDE} I should be fully healed within two weeks. Maybe after that, you and I can go back to my place in Chicago and do a little something there.... if you know what I mean.
{FAINA} I know what you mean, my precious body pillow.
{DAVIDE} I love you.
{FAINA} I love you too.
(Faina and Davide kiss each other on the lips for four seconds straight.)
{FAINA} Okay, I'm gonna go now. I have other stuff to take care of at home.
{DAVIDE} Okay, then. See you later.
{FAINA} Later.
(Faina exits the room as Davide watches her.)
{DAVIDE} Yep. She is my one in however many living things are in this universe. I love her.
(Davide stares in the direction Faina went for five more seconds before the scene cuts to pitch black for three seconds, indicating the end of the episode.)
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==== END OF EPISODE ====