Deadpool VS Sans

==Description==
Marvel vs. Undertale! Katana and guns vs. bones and Gaster Blasters! Two 4th wall-breaking comedians with puns and dark backstories will go at each other's throats today! Will Deadpool collect another bounty or will he be dunked on? More importantly, can Wiz survive the puns? 
==Intro==
4TH WALL BREAKERS
SANS AND DEADPOOL
==DEADPOOL==
Deadpool became an antiheroic mercenary which, in my opinion, is way cooler than that American boy scout. 
Deadpool has had his head cut off, is a master at assassination, completed a obstacle course made for Iron Man suits with no problem, can take down several armed guards with no problem, is a master in almost every martial art, can dodge bullets, can survive hits from Hulk without having to regenerate, and was even to unpredictable for Taskmaster whose whole purpose is to predict moves.
Deadpool's greatest weakness may also be his greatest ability. Unpredictability. While people like Taskmaster can't track his mind, sometimes even he can't. But Deadpool actually isn't insane. He realize he's a comic book character and take advantage of that. 
Deadpool: Let's count 'em down. 
==SANS==
In the Undertale, Frisk meets many monsters, one of them being Sans. However, unbeknownst to the player, Sans is actually one of the strongest monsters in the game. And also is strong in the UT fanbase! Uh, Ok. Anyway, Sans has many powerful attacks like the Gaster Blasters, which are flying skull entities that shoot lasers. He also can throw bones, ranging from Blue Bones, to Orange Bones, which can halt your movement speed. He also can throw you around using his telekinesis.Sans is also a really good dodger, being able to sidestep basically any attack. He also has Karmic Retribution, which does poison like damage to you depending on how many sins you've committed.Oh, so he's a rip off of Ghost Rider! Pretty much. Moving on, Sans also has the Pre-Special Attack, which is where he summons a lot of bones and Gaster Blasters. And lastly is Sparing Sans, which is a move that Sans will use on you if you spare him, resulting in an instant death. Sans is able to dodge knife attacks from Chara and is said to have defeated Flowey. He also is one of the only characters to know about the SAVE Function. However, he only has 1 HP, 1% Attack Power and gets tired EXTREMELY easily. 
Sans: You're gonna have a Bad Time. 
==Battle==
A red and black figure is seen playing the genocide route in Undertale. He groans in frustration after losing to the final boss ninety times in a row. Deadpool hesitates to throw his computer on the ground and stomp on it. 
Deadpool: It's not fair! This stupid chubby Skeletor's wasted three hours of my precious time! I could be doing anything else, but this stupid game has ruined everything! ...Although the story is quite delicious and Papyrus is a cinnamon roll. 
Suddenly, a bright light surrounds the room. A black and white triangle sporting a top hat, cane, and bow tie comes out of a portal it seems. It turns into a bright yellow character. 
Stop music 
Bill Cipher: Hey, there! 
Deadpool: Oh, uh, uh, um... 
Deadpool tries to perform the Cross Signal, but fails. Then he picks up a piece of paper and draws a cross on it. 
Deadpool: Get thee behind me, Satan! 
Bill: Oh, please. That's my uncle. Name's Bill Cipher! 
Deadpool: You? But your fight is the season finale! Why are you here now? 
Bill: It seems we share a common enemy. The slimy skeleton has robbed both of us of our popularity. 
Deadpool: Well, actually WatchMojo has us as the top three of most popular characters of 2015/2016. I suggest you watch their latest video: Top 10 Anime Gorillas who aren't Harambe and are based off Malcolm in the Middle. Number one is Keanu Reeves. 
Bill: Well, yeah, we are the three most popular characters, but I-I mean, we need to rule. 
Deadpool: How do I know I can trust you? 
Bill: ...Because I'm a nice triangle? 
Deadpool takes a safety whistle and starts trying to blow on it through his mask to no avail. 
Bill: ...Just go. 
With a snap of his fingers, he transports Deadpool to Snowdin. 
Deadpool: Oh man, it's cold. Wait a second. 
The Merc with A Mouth throws a grenade. It detonates on impact and kills multiple civilians. A big hole is in a building and Deadpool can see Grillby drying his dishes. 
Deadpool: Well...that was wasted. 
Deadpool walks over to the bar only for him to narrowly dodge a bone that shot in his direction. He looks to his right and sees a skeleton dressed in a hoodie, slippers, a huge smile, and a flaming blue eye. Sans drops his hand and puts both in his pockets. 
Sans: just looking at you, i can tell you have a...fiery spirit. 
Everybody chuckles at the pun. 
Deadpool: You must be the guy the triangle told me to ki-wait. YOU'RE THE GUY IN THE GENOCIDE ROUTE! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I'VE WASTED IN THAT GAME? 
Sans: well, it was your fault, wade. 
Deadpool: Well, Sans, get ready to pay for the time you've wasted. 
Sans: i got a question for ya. do you wanna have a bad time or do you wanna get dunked on? 
Deadpool: I dunno, they both sound bad. 
Sans: trick question. 
He conjures several Gaster Blasters and bones. 
Sans: you get both. 
FIGHT!
Sans starts off by firing several beams at Deadpool who dodges them all. 
Deadpool (imitating Frieza): Your Saiyan skeletons are futile against me! 
The mercenary takes out his twin machine guns. 
Deadpool: Say hello to my little friends! BANG BANG BANG 
Sans dodges all them all without effort while still maintaining a large smile on his face. Once Deadpool runs out of bullets, he chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. 
Deadpool: Wipe that creepy smile off your face, you Judge/Ghost Rider ripoff! 
Sans: ok mr. deathstroke/spiderman. 
Sans attempts to frown, but can't. 
Sans: i gotta see a doctor about this. it really chills me to the bone. 
Deadpool looks to the screen. 
Deadpool: And I thought Spiderman was bad. 
Sans conjures several platforms for Joker to leap over, which he does in success. The red and black mercenary takes his to twin sai out of the Magic Satchel and runs at the skeleton. 
Deadpool: You know, I've been thinking. 
He stabs at Sans' eye, but misses. 
Deadpool: I'm not really a TMNT guy as much as I am...well, I do love those crazy turtles, but that's not the point. 
He throws his twin sai at the skeleton only for them to stop in midair glowing a blue energy around them. He then smashes him into a boulder using soul manipulation. While Deadpool is recovering, Sans takes the opportunity to fire a Gaster Blaster at Deadpool's arm causing it to completely disintegrate. 
Deadpool: Ah, look what you did! 
Sans: are you ok? 
Deadpool: Hold on. 
Stop music 
Deadpool regenerates an arm slowly and grotesquely while Sans is still watching. 
Deadpool: So let's get this time to know each other. ...Uuuh, who's Gaster? 
Deadpool's arm has barely grown past his heart. 
Sans: this is weird. 
Deadpool: Why are you smiling then? 
The two stand there awkwardly. 
Deadpool: JUST KIDDING! 
Deadpool's arm quickly shoots out to its normal length while he picks up his old arm and throws it into the fire while mumbling something. 
Sans: what are you saying? 
Deadpool: The next song. My song. 
Deadpool puts on his teleportation belt and vanishes over to Sans. He has enough time to dodge the punch and conjure bones to act like swords. 
Deadpool: Yes! Sword fight time! Now I would have my carbonadium sword, but hosts too it away cause they're a bunch of- 
His sentence was cut short by him getting hit over the head with a large bone. Then he turned blue and was smashed into a building. 
Sans: you know, i've never liked funny mercenaries. they always turn out to be such backstabbers. 
Deadpool: Discrimination at its finest, folks. 
Deadpool swings his katanas at Sans only for them to miss. He then attempts to do several techniques from Ju Jitsu and Mai Thai, but once again, Sans dodges. 
Deadpool: It's just like in the game! I need a boost! 
He takes out a chimichanga and devours it in one gulp. In a fashion similar to a certain sailor, his muscles expand. We see inside and see a nuclear explosion goes off. He runs at Sans with his two katanas and Sans prepares his two large bones. The two melee weapons clash sending sparks flying in all different directions. Sans struggles to keep his bones under control by concentrating extra hard. But his efforts are to no avail as the Merc with a Mouth slices the bones and jumps at Sans. 
Deadpool: You're about to die twice! 
The smiling skeleton barely jumps out of the way before Deadpool stabs at him. Sans uses soul manipulation once again to slam him into the ground, but D-Pool keeps coming back. 
Sans: man. you're good. 
Deadpool: Thanks. I like to take pride and my killing abilities. 
Sans summons a Gaster Blaster, but it is blown up by a missile. 
Sans: this is really getting explosive. 
Deadpool: All right, smelly. It's time to meet go to the big Grillby's in the sky and meet Toby Fox. 
Sans: i don't think so. 
Sans puts his hands in his pockets and closes his eyes. 
Stop music 
Sans: it's a beautiful day outside. 
Deadpool: Not really. It's kind of cold. 
A dark cloud appears. 
Sans: birds are singing, flowers are blooming. 
Deadpool: What flowers can grow here? 
Lightning strikes. 
Sans: on days like these, people like you... 
Several Gaster Blasters, bones, and platforms appear around the sweating skeleton. 
Sans: Should be burning in the deepest level of hell. 
Deadpool: Oh boy. Looks like I'm in a little bit of a predicament. 
Deadpool looks to the screen. 
Deadpool: If I die, burn down Screwattack HQ and riot. Sans fires several bones at the assassin impaling him several time in different area à la Hulk vs. Doomsday. 
Deadpool: Oh, my spleen! I cramp all over! 
The undead vigilante sends several platforms to slam at the red and black man which sends him flying back into the rubble of a building. 
Sans: get dunked on. 
Deadpool (slow motion à la A Christmas Story): Oooooooohhhh ffffuuuuuuddddggggggeeeeee- 
Deadpool (narrating): Only I didn't say fudge. I said- 
Sans slams Deadpool into random objects by turning his soul blue finally slamming into the Snowdin sign. He summons several Gaster Blasters to fire eradicating the mercenary once and for all.
KO!
Bill angrily watches afar off while Sans walks away. 
Bill: Looks like I need to deal with him myself. But there's somebody I need to take care of first...
==Results==
Deadpool can dodge bullets, but Sans can dodge attacks from people who can dodge lightning! But what about his healing factor, you ask? 
Deadpool is now a pool of dead mercenary. 
Deadpool: Oh whatever. I'm just gonna watch Cartoon Fight Club.
The winner is Sans.
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/joke-battles/images/3/38/Sans_by_flintofmother3-d9dl8qh.png/revision/latest?cb=20160526065756