SpongeBob vs Courage

== Pre-Fight ==
Ah, ze beautiful sunset view of Bikini Botto- Wait a minute..." the French Narrator opened the battle with before correcting himself. But that didn't stop the camera from focusing on a panning shot of the sky, which was colored with bright tones of purple and orange. "That's better - took me a while to find the correct script." He cleared his throat. "Ah, ze beautiful sunset view of Nowhere, Kansas; home to the world's only pink dog, Courage" he continued as the camera went downwards to a familiar farmhouse.
"Nowhere is also home to all sorts of supernatural phenomena in every nook and cranny," the French Narrator described. "So let's see what the cowardly canine will embark himself into today. Yes, of course he lives in a farmhouse, you silly."
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK7RYE4z6tY)
In the living room of the residence, it was a rather normal day. Courage was assisting his owner, Muriel Bagge, in the kitchen, who was preparing dinner, while Muriel's husband, Eustace, was contributing to absolutely nothing by reading the newspaper - which was normal for him.
"Sheesh, the newspaper is all the same," Eustace grumbled. "'Global warming shuts down Winter Olympics', 'Measuring with feet could lead to foot fungus', 'Saying video games cause violence will make you dumber'...it's boring! So hurry up with that grub, Muriel!"
"It's almost ready, Eustace," Muriel politely reminded him, completely oblivious to his aggressiveness. "First, I just need two cups of warm water." Muriel grabbed a cup and tried to turn on the sink, until it turned out water wasn't coming out. "That's odd. I thought we had the pipes checked yesterday. Courage, do you think you could go outside and pump the water well?"
Courage nodded and went on his way outside to follow her order. Something was quite off, though; Muriel was right about the pipes being checked the day before, and droughts were unheard of at this time of the year. It had also been too quiet around the farm recently, so a catastrophe was bound to happen any minute now.
He approached the water well and attempted to twist the pump as hard as he could. Nothing happened. He tried harder until his arms popped off of his body. Still nothing.
His arms reattached them to their original positions, and Courage scratched his head in confusion, wondering what the source of the problem could be.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gas_IVul21M)
Suddenly, his ears perked up once he could hear something - or someone - squeezing through the pipes. Courage backed away by a few feet and observed the well with wide-open eyes.
Half of a yellow rectangular body with olive green pores emerged from the top of the drain. It sprung out arms and tried harder to push itself out. The thing dropped to the ground, and it turned out to be a buck-toothed, brown-pants-sporting sponge you should all know: SpongeBob SquarePants. "Phew! I never thought Squidward would have flushed me down the toilet."
SpongeBob looked up to notice Courage, who was now bestowed at the sight. "Hello there! My name is SpongeBob SquarePants." The next thing SpongeBob looked at was his surroundings. "I've never been around this area before. Do you know any directions back to Bikini Bottom?"
At first, there was silence, until...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
SpongeBob covered his non-existent ears, and then he chuckled. "That's a foreign way to greet someone, but okay." Now it was his turn to scream. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvpfCMvomz8)
They continued screaming at each other until Courage ran back into the house within the blink of an eye, and he slammed the door shut. "What seems to be the matter, Courage?" Muriel asked. Courage blabbered incoherently at his owners and shapeshifted into SpongeBob's exact shape while trying to explain what went on outside. Muriel and Eustace stared at each other, and Eustace stood up from his chair. "You stupid dog, I'm sure it was nothin'." He went for the door to open it, and Courage tried to drag him away from it. "NO!"
Eustace opened the door. At first, he didn't see anything, until he looked down and saw SpongeBob, who was about to say the same thing he told Courage. "Hello there! My name is SpongeBob SquarePa-"
SLAM!
"That's it! I'm gettin' me mallet!" Eustace announced. In a panic, Courage carried Muriel and sent her outside, where he hailed a taxi that was heading to "A Place Far Away from Here", and he put her in the back side. After the taxi sped away, Courage closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was going to have to directly deal with the peculiar sponge; he is trespassing on private property after all.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tC8WoA-3Too)
SpongeBob was sitting on the porch's steps, until Courage loudly kicked the door off its hinges, carrying two briefcases. He marched in front of SpongeBob and set the briefcases down before pointing to the left. "You want me to leave? Well, I, uh...sort of can't. I don't know my way out of here."
Taking this as a challenge, Courage gave SpongeBob a harsh bite on his arm. "YOUCH!" SpongeBob shouted. He shook Courage to get him off, but it was no use. Finally, he kicked him off and saw that Courage bit his arm apart. Fortunately, SpongeBob grew a new one thanks to his spongy body, but it didn't stop him from narrowing his eyelids at Courage. "You picked the wrong sponge to mess with, mister!" he said as he started to don his karate gear.
Courage sighed and stared at the audience to say one more thing before they could start fighting. "I know I'm not gonna like this."
== Fight! ==
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loAthQLnLLY)
SpongeBob and Courage charged at each other without any hesitation, with SpongeBob releasing his classic war cry, lolling his tongue out. "LULULULULULULU!" Both had their fists drawn back, and they smacked each other at the exact same time. SpongeBob's fist dug into Courage's nose, which pushed it deep into his skin, while Courage's hit went straight into SpongeBob's eyes, producing a squeak. They both collided, and they were sent flying backwards as a result. In terms of how they reacted to their punches, the difference was like day and night: Courage yelped in pain, and SpongeBob...laughed?!
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That tickles!"
Raising an eyebrow, Courage lunged at him and released a flurry of harder punches, but this only caused SpongeBob's laughter to grow louder. Courage covered his ears as tears rolled down from SpongeBob's eyes. My god, he never thought he would ever hear anything so obnoxious! Courage wasn't a dog of many words, but he did shout out something. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"
SpongeBob eventually stopped laughing. Noticing his opponent was distracted from the horrible sounds of his laughter, he knew it was the perfect opportunity to overwhelm him. SpongeBob delivered a harsh karate chop to the back of Courage's head. "Ouch!" Courage exclaimed as the force of the attack made him crash into the living room. Inside, Eustace had finally found his mallet, and he warmed himself up as he advanced towards Courage. "Alright, stupid dog, you ought to show me where this sponge is!"
At perfect timing, SpongeBob kicked through the window like a generic action movie protagonist, but he was fully unaware Eustace was there, so because of that, he accidentally crashed into him like a bowling pin. Eustace screamed, and he landed inside of the oven. Since the oven was still on, it exploded, and Eustace flew high into the sky, with one last thing to say.
"STUPID SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
The force of the explosion had sent Eustace all the way to Japan, where the military was trying to fight off Godzilla with swarms of machine gun bullets. Fortunately, the day was saved once Eustace roughly landed on him, which blew Godzilla up into a gory mess. The soldiers stopped firing, and they cheered. "Guys, guys," one soldier bragged to his friends. "I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think that was me."
Back in Nowhere, the sponge and canine looked up at the sky before exchanging scowls at each other, and they returned to fighting within a second. Courage struck harder than before with an uppercut. SpongeBob dropped to the floor, but he wasn't going to go down. "You made a fatal mistake messing with a master of kah-rah-tay!" he warned. He aimed for a kick, only for Courage to pull a swift backwards roll. Bad mistake; SpongeBob inexplicably teleported right behind him and quite literally absorbed Courage.
Courage screamed once he got stuck inside SpongeBob's stomach. He desperately pounded against his inner skin until a hole was made, so he crawled his way out. While Courage was in there, SpongeBob had covered the area where his ears would be due to Courage's screaming. "Ow! And I thought my laughs were loud!" Oh well, a little self-awareness never hurts. When his "ears" stopped ringing, SpongeBob stretched his arms around Courage and repeatedly slapped him, until Courage stretched his as well.
They grabbed each other by the neck, and were somehow thinking the same thing: rip this bitch apart. They stared at each other angrily and mercilessly tore each other to tiny shreds until their hands were torn with them. From there, whatever was left of their bodies just stood on the ground, reduced to bits.
Suddenly, they started reforming themselves at a rapid pace. Courage restored almost all of his body, but his legs were gone - at least until it turned out they were running away. Courage hopped onto his legs to retrieve them, while SpongeBob's bits jumbled together into squares. All of the squares ended up turning into multiple SpongeBobs! "They say two's a company, and three's a crowd - well, let's see you try ten!" all of the SpongeBobs told Courage. The pink dog yelped in fear as they all rushed towards him. Courage screamed bloody murder. His first instinct was to run out of the farmhouse and think of a solution. "Oh no! What do I do?! What do I do?!" the pink dog frantically asked himself as he was booking it. Merely a second later, he morphed into the shape of a light bulb. "I got it!"
If he was outnumbered, he was going to have to do something desperate. He jumped onto the roof of the house and inhaled.
"AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
From faraway and nearby distances, several dogs of all sorts perked their ears up. "Courage needs help!" a pit bull said, rushing into the scene with an army of other dogs. "Fellow dogs, unite!" Courage announced. "These sponges will stop at nothing! They might go after your doghouses next! So, my friends...FETCH!"
Following Courage's orders, the swarm of dogs went straight for SpongeBob and his clones, biting into them one-by-one. The clones screamed and tried to fight off the dogs, but it was no use. None of the dogs stopped attacking until all of SpongeBob and his duplicates were nothing more than piles of goo. They looked at their handiwork and went their separate ways, leaving Courage by himself. Courage let out a sigh of relief and jumped down to enter the house.
However, that wasn't the end for Nickelodeon's mascot. The puddles of SpongeBob and his clones merged into one to regenerate the real SpongeBob, who was now holding his trustworthy spatula. "Not again!" Courage exclaimed. The enthusiastic fry cook leaped into the air and was going to slash Courage across the chest, but the loyal dog pulled a sword out of his non-existent pockets and blocked the incoming spatula. SpongeBob became shocked. "Heh...well, they always say the swordfish is mightier than the pen, right?" he nervously asked. "Or something like that."
They engaged into a duel, dragging on long enough for them to crash through the house's front door, but they could've cared less. It seemed as if the duel would go on forever, until they created an equal force that split both of their weapons in half. SpongeBob gasped, and tears started to dwell in his eyes. "Spat! No! You were so young!" he sobbed. As SpongeBob was busy crying, Courage handed him pie. SpongeBob looked up, but he wasn't going to accept it right away. "Wait, weren't we just fighting?" he asked. Courage didn't answer, and he continued holding the pie. "Well, if it's an apology gift and a way of cheering me up, I can't ever say no to pie!" SpongeBob giddily said. He grabbed it and ate it in one bite.
KA-BOOM!
The explosion burnt SpongeBob down to his skeleton, only for his skin to spontaneously sprout back, and he was angrier than before. He morphed himself into the shape of a boxing glove. Courage knew what was going to happen if he didn't retaliate, so he morphed himself as well, albeit into a nail bat. This was when they really acknowledged this fight wasn't going to be a walk in the park. "Whoa! You can shapeshift too?!" SpongeBob asked in both shock and amazement. Courage nodded. SpongeBob turned into a cannon, and he fired a cannonball, but Courage responded to this by turning into a high-powered fan, which made SpongeBob's attack backfire - literally.
The smoke cleared off, and SpongeBob dusted off the ashes that were on him. "You want a real challenge? Check out my bubble-blowing techniques!" He took out his bubble container and dipped the wand into the soapy water. Courage was confused and wondered what harm a bubble would do outside of getting in his eyes, but he did step back, just in case. He was right to have done that, because SpongeBob blew a bubble bomb! Courage screamed so loudly that SpongeBob's bubble wand produced a much bigger bubble. It was a bubble that eclipsed over the farmhouse and encased it, taking it into the sky!
It was bad timing to have blown that bubble bomb, because they started to realize the house was now in midair upon glancing at the window. If it exploded, and it sent the house down, things obviously weren't going to end well. "Whatever you do, don't make any sudden movements..." SpongeBob whispered. The bubble bomb only came closer to them.
POOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!
The house harshly fell to the ground, but each part of the house stacked back onto each other perfectly in a cartoony manner. SpongeBob ended up landing in the chimney, where there was fire. "AAAAAHHHHH!!! I'M ON FIRE!!!" he shouted. The buck-toothed sponge quickly ran to the kitchen sink to extinguish himself. Meanwhile, Courage landed on the couch, bouncing off of it and then plopping down on the ground. SpongeBob walked back into the living room, having absorbed a lot of the sink's tap water. "It's time to 'clean up your act'!" he said, cracking an awful pun. SpongeBob spewed out water in Courage's direction, who screamed...
...but since he had his mouth open, the water went straight into it! Courage redirected the water at SpongeBob, but the fry cook just absorbed it back in. SpongeBob spat the water back out at Courage, but this only started a nigh-endless chain of the cowards redirecting the water back at each other. But it did end when SpongeBob jumped out of the way and took out the one and only Ol' Reliable. Courage yelped in fear and tried to dodge SpongeBob swinging the net at him, but it was too late, he got caught.
"A-ha! I have you now!" SpongeBob exclaimed. "I knew I could count on you, Ol' Reliable." Suddenly, Courage melted himself into a puddle to escape from the net. SpongeBob became shocked at the sight of this, but then he slipped on the liquefied Courage and fell. While SpongeBob was down, Courage ran up to a painting mounted on the wall and dropped it on SpongeBob, which sucked him into the painting!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUqvspjjNSM)
"Gah! Where am I?" SpongeBob looked at his surroundings before looking his other way, and he realized he was now stuck in a painting. "Oh Neptune, this is bad! So very, very bad! How can I get out?!" Panicking, he hyperventilated and ran in circles. "I'm never gonna get out of here! I'm only gonna escape if I somehow had a magic pencil in my possessi-" He stopped running. "Wait a minute."
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvZLq4wJ1RI)
One Minute Later...
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyL42xnOOb8)
SpongeBob emerged out of the painting, holding the Magic Pencil in his hands, much to Courage's shock. The not-so stupid dog watched in cautiousness as SpongeBob started to draw something with the pencil. He drew swarms of jellyfish, who all turned their attention to Courage. The pink canine stared at the camera and held out a small sign reading "YIKES!". He followed his natural instincts by running away, but all the jellyfish caught up and zapped him. In fact, his screams might have been louder than the zaps. SpongeBob couldn't help but laugh. "Looks like we're gonna need a bigger jellyfish," he joked as he grabbed his pencil again. This time, he drew a King Jellyfish!
As SpongeBob’s King Jellyfish drawing gets towards Courage, the pink dog wonders
how he’ll get out of this. That is until he remembers he has the right idea of how to take it
out as he pulls out a giant net from his back and throws it pinning the jellyfish to the
ground.
“Is that all you got?” Courage says cocky.
He then starts back-flipping to the sponge with his feet slamming into him.
Spongebob then moans in pain “I still got stuff for you!”
He pulls out an electric guitar and starts playing Goofy Goober Rock very loudly.
Being a dog, Courage howls in pain as his eardrums are starting to become nonexistent.
Spongebob grins evilly as he fires a laser from his guitar. The beam then disintegrates Courage and is nothing but dust afterwards as SpongeBob is now the winner of this battle!