Celestial Mechanics/Originals

Originals drafts of ficlets from "Celestial Mechanics". 
==Astronomical Dawn==
===UoManchester===
One of the attractions of the physics and astronomy program at the University of Manchester is hands-on time with the large (and historic) Lovell Telescope at the Jodrell Bank Observatory. (UoM)
===Corrections===
"5 Times Hermann Wasn't a Monster": Three; originally posted here; revised by "Constants"
It wasn't his fault. It never was but he felt like everyone thought differently. By now he should have known better, but when Doctor Munro kept on using inaccurate measures and completely messing with what could be a very simple and enjoyable class, h e couldn't keep his mouth shut.
Now the entire class had extra work just because their professor's ego was bruised. Hermann felt his colleagues' eyes burning into the back of his head. He could almost feel their gaze tearing into the feathers of his wings, claiming them as reward for putting up with him. 
Damn, even Edan Reid was looking at him with a more than intense glare. 'Goodbye chances of having friends', Hermann thought. 'Goodbye chances of having Edan Reid as a friend..."
 
He didn't want to leave the room first, even if he had answered his questions long before anyone else made a move to leave. The first one to stand up and place the exercise sheet over the professor's desk was a short but bulky guy he rarely saw in class. The man passed by his side and made sure to elbow him, hitting the upcurve of his binded wing quite painfully. He whined a bit and that just made the man look bitterly at him: "Stop whining! I'm late for my next class because of you, you monster." 
===Challenges===
"Not Everyone Agrees": Three; originally posted here; sorta revised by "Constants".
It isn't Hermann's fault. Doctor Munro should know his material better than this. Just skimming the textbook shows the inaccurate measures he's using. Hermann did them all a favor by calling the man out. 
Now the entire class has extra work because their professor can't handle a little challenge or admit a mistake. The rest of the students glare at Hermann's hunched shoulders. Edan knows that feeling. 
Edan stares at Hermann's back, too, but in admiration. He'd only caught one error, not the four Hermann spotted and Edan knows he's good at this. Hermann is ... something special. Intimidating as all hell, but special. 
He scratches away at the exercises and watches a bloke he recognizes stomp over and elbow Hermann solidly on the shoulder. Hermann flinches and squeaks, but the guy glares at him bitterly and growls, "Stop whining! I'm late for my next class because of you, you monster." 
Edan finishes his problem set, notes Hermann has already left, and darts after the asshole, catching him as he exits the building. "Listen, mate, just because you're stupid and slow doesn't mean the rest of us are. Lay off your betters or I'll tell your girl you're fucking Poppy. Your choice," Edan says. He thumps the guy on the back and peels off toward his next lecture, very glad Iggy is a gossip.
===Ginger===
Please see "Ginger" parts "Dynamics" to "Joy Division". 
=== Maximum Ride ===
Chatting with a friend, Hermann discovers other teenagers with wings. Unfortunately, they're fictional.
(Originally posted here; revised by "Angel Experiment".)
Hermann returns to the dorm to find Vigsai sitting on the floor outside his room, reading a book.
"Hey, Hermann," she greets absently.
"Good afternoon, Vigsai. How's your book?"
She gets to her feet and brushes off her skirt. "Fun." She leans against the doorframe as Hermann pulls out his keyring. "Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment. S'about kids spliced with bird DNA."
His key misses the lock. "How did you choose such a book?"
"Friend lent it to me. Introduced myself, said the fam calls me 'Iggy,' and she bursts out laughing. Turns out one of the characters' named Iggy. Go figure, yea?"
Hermann finally manages the door. "Quite the coincidence."
"Kid's a blind white boy so the similarities end there with a screeching halt. Have you seen the Gingersnap?"
"I haven't, no, sorry."
"That's cool. Mind if I chill here 'til he shows? He's bound to turn up. He promised to help with my essay for English comp."
Hermann shakes the gathered snowflakes off his coat as Vigsai folds herself to the floor. "Why isn't Rhys helping you? English compositions are his expertise."
"I love him, but he sucks at teaching. Lots of eye rolls and complaints about how bad English schools are."
Hermann snorts.
"Don't you start, too."
Hermann gestures surrender. "Why, ah, are the characters in your book given bird DNA?"
"I dunno," says Vigsai. "Something about saving the world."
"Do they go about with their wings visible?" He scratches the lower edge of his binding.
"Uh, no? Evil scientists?"
Hermann blanches.
"Did I tell you that part? No? Well, the Flock—that's what they call 'emselves—mostly stays away from people because these evil scientists are trying to capture them." She glances up. "You think someone'll ever pull it off? Splice animals and humans?"
A wing twitches. "I wouldn't know. Biology is not my field."
"S'not likely, I guess. No idea the weird interactions'd happen, yea? Might get the change you want, but maybe something fatal, too."
"It's the stuff of science fiction, then."
"Yea. Would be cool to meet someone with wings, though."
Hermann reaches for his laptop. "Perhaps. Or perhaps they would be unremarkable, extra limbs aside."
"Hadn't thought of that. Maybe it's a thought experiment to run by those clots in Philosophy. I mean, these kids weigh basically nothing and have super strength, but the bad guys can't always recognize them on sight and they wear pretty baggy clothes. Kinda like you, actually." She peers around him, trying to get a look at his back. "Eh. No slits."
"Excuse me?"
"They cut holes in their shirts and jackets for easy wing-spreading action. Seems to me it would be mighty cold at 10,000 feet, but they run a little hotter and, besides, what would us normal folk know, yea?" She turns back to the book. "So, yea, I dunno. The brain's tied to the body and the mind's tied to the brain, so if you go muckin' about with one, y'inevitably get something going sideways. Maybe the trade-off's body of a Renaissance angel, personality of a demon. Sociopath or somethin'." She closes the paperback. "Think I could get a paper out of this?"
"Vigsai, if your folder of drafts is any indication, you can get a paper out of almost anything as long as it doesn't need to be polished."
"You're saying talk to Gingersnap about it."
"Exactly."
Notes: 
Sorry not sorry to anyone expecting porn after seeing the title.
[Pickleplum]: The vast majority of this is ALC's. I just filled in some bits around the edges.
[ArtificialLifeCreator]: Pickleplum needed a name, I presented some candidates, Pickle said "Vigsai, and her friends will call her 'Iggy'." I could only reply back with a link. Cue discussion on exposure to American media, and then this happened.
===Ginger===
Please see "Ginger" parts "Exam" and "Hands". 
==Eclipse==
===Hermann's Brothers===
Please see "My Brother" parts "Bastien" and "Dietrich". 
=== Heartbreaker===
It falls to Dietrich to shatter two boys' hearts.
Notes: 
For Emmalyn, puff22_2001.
Set immediately after Chapter 2 of "My Brother".
(Originally posted here (764-HERO, Get Here and Stay, "History Lessons"); revised by "Take Care".)
Dietrich sits at the kitchen table staring vacantly at the damaged phone he took from Hermann’s room earlier that day. If Edan holds to his pattern, Dietrich shouldn’t have much longer to wait.
The phone chimes. A foreign number. Dietrich answers.
“Oh, thank god, Hermann! It’s been four days, mate! Is everything alright?” Dietrich tastes the boy’s relief over the connection.
“Edan? This is Hermann’s brother, Dietrich,” he says carefully, mindful that his thickly accented English sometimes makes him difficult for native speakers to understand.
“Diet … what? Where’s Hermann? Did something happen to him?” Edan sounds panicky and Dietrich must take a deep breath through his nose to maintain his own calm.
“Yes, something did. He was badly hurt the day he returned,” he says and hears the boy’s sharp intake of breath. “The injury was serious, but we got him treatment very quickly. He’ll be alright eventually, but … he won’t be returning to Manchester after the holiday.”
“What?! Why not?!”
“Our father has withdrawn Hermann from your university and enrolled him in a college in Berlin.” He gathers himself and says, “He feels it is in Hermann’s best interest to do so.”
“Of all the stupid … !” Edan mumbles something unintelligible Dietrich interprets as traditional Scottish insults to his father’s intelligence and smiles weakly. “You don’t agree, do you?” the boy continues with a note of hope.
“No, I don’t. Hermann doesn’t either. They had quite a fight about it. My sister and I tried to convince our father elsewise, as well, but he won’t be persuaded.” Dietrich can’t keep the resignation out of his voice.
“Is this because he and I … umm … . Did he tell you about me?”
“Yes, he did.” Dietrich expects this question and has his response ready. “Our father is very old-fashioned with regards to relationships, but that is not why he withdrew Hermann from Manchester. He wants to keep Hermann close to home. He is … ,” Dietrich must force himself to finish, “ … very protective of Hermann.” If the boy thinks his father cares more about his son than the family secret, it will be a greater comfort to him than the truth.
“But-but Hermann didn’t get hurt until he went back to Berlin! He was fine when he was in England! Our friends and I helped protect him! Not that he needed much help … .”
“Edan, I know. My father, though, is not a reasonable man where Hermann is concerned. He gave Hermann two choices: Agree to transfer to the Berlin school and break off all contact with you or, essentially, live under house arrest with no further access to education or non-family members. Hermann has not yet declared his decision, but I’ve had to recommend he continue his schooling. It’s the only way he can escape this house.”
“That’s mad! How can your father force a choice like that? Is that even legal?”
“Hermann’s a minor, Edan. Our father controls his life. There’s nothing he or I or you can do to fight the man we’re not already doing. Hermann won’t be able to contact you again. Father is monitoring his phone and computer. He desperately wants to, but he can’t. Not until he turns eighteen, at least. I’m sorry.”
“I-I don’t understand. I don’t understand at all. How can a father … ?” Edan’s voice breaks and trails off. “But thanks, I guess, for telling me. I’ll leave you and-and … him alone now.”
“I’m truly sorry, Edan. Hermann really does love you. I don’t think he’s ever been happier than he was the last few weeks. This isn’t what he wants to do. Not for himself and not for you.”
“I hadn’t been that happy before, either. Tell Hermann I’m sorry I didn’t talk to him sooner.” With a choking sound, the connection breaks. Dietrich carefully sets down the phone and rests his forehead on the tabletop.
I just heard a heart break. I broke that boy's heart. The first heart outside of the family my brother's opened himself to.
They both deserve so much better.
Damn Father.
He sits up, retrieves his own phone from a pocket, and, looking for comfort, starts to enter his girlfriend’s number. He pauses as an idea strikes him. His somber expression gives way to a wicked one. Father won’t return until evening and he’s watching only Hermann’s phone.
Maybe I can’t reunite them, but I can at least let them say goodbye to each other.
He sends Edan a short text message asking him to answer any calls from this number and returns to Hermann’s room to wait for his brother to wake. 
Notes: 
For Emmalyn and puff22_2001, who pleaded with me to give Edan some kind of explanation of Hermann's sudden disappearance from his life.
Music to set the Mood: 764-HERO, Get Here and Stay, "History Lessons"
===Karla's Brother===
Please see "Karla's Brother".
 
=== French Vanilla===
"You need ice cream."
Notes: Set right after Chapter 3 of "My Brother."
(Originally posted here; revised by "Sorting".)
Bastien’s not too proud to admit he’s scared for his brother. His older brother, his favorite brother, is sick. Not having-the-flu sick, but heartsick. Or maybe headsick. Father’s decision to force Hermann home—because Hermann finally had friends of all the stupid reasons—nearly killed his brother and Bastien doesn’t understand why Father can’t ever let Hermann be happy. It’s as though the man hates him.
The afternoon Hermann returns from school in England, he’s the happiest Bastien has ever seen him. He shows off a photograph of himself and his friends: the redheaded boy, the girl with the wide smile, and the pudgy guy with the laughing eyes. It’s the only picture of Hermann Bastien’s ever seen.
Five days later, Bastien follows Dietrich into Manny’s room when his oldest brother goes in to change Manny’s bandages, relieving Karla, who’s been with him since early morning.
"Hi," Hermann croaks. He's hardly spoken in days and he’s been living on toast, cookies, and juice since Sunday morning. At least he finally has the strength to sit up without feeling dizzy, but he always feels cold. To Bastien he looks even thinner and paler than usual: a ghost where his brother should be.
Bastien’s stomach crawls into his throat when he sees the deep cuts on Hermann’s forearms, which still ooze blood. Hermann doesn’t watch as Dietrich works. He closes his eyelids, raises his chin, and tears creep from the corners of his eyes while his wings jerk and twitch.
"Does it hurt?" Bastien can’t stop himself asking.
"Yes. It stings," he answers quietly.
"You need ice cream," Bastien pipes. "That’ll make you feel better."
"Sure, Hasi," Hermann says.
Bastien sprints from the room while Dietrich finishes his work. He returns with two heaping bowls of the ice cream Karla purchased for them that morning. "French vanilla," he chirps. "Your favorite."
Hermann shifts over to give the little one more room. They eat quietly for a while.
"Do you feel better now?" Bastien asks.
"A little. The good food is making me sleepy, though." Hermann actually smiles. It’s small and weak, but it’s a smile. "Thank you." He pauses a moment. "Why don’t you get us another serving and a movie we can watch together?"
Bastien lights up and flails off to retrieve the food and entertainment. He returns with smaller servings—Karla refuses to give him larger amounts—and two Harry Potter movies.
They eat and watch in peace until the Sorting scene. Bastien provokes an argument over where the Gottlieb family would go should they be Sorted. Hermann, spotting a familiar pattern, pauses the film so they don’t miss anything while they bicker. Bastien and Karla go easily into Griffindor, as do Dietrich to Hufflepuff and their parents to Slytherin, but, Hermann argues for Ravenclaw, while Bastien insists he’s another Gryffindor. They eventually agree to disagree and watch the rest of the movie, Bastien occasionally shouting encouragement or warnings to the characters.
Halfway through Chamber of Secrets, Karla returns with simple sandwiches and more juice for her younger brothers. They accept the food with quiet thanks. Bastien nearly inhales his, but Hermann eats only a few bites before picking listlessly at the remainder. He pushes it over to Bastien, who immediately begins munching happily.
Hermann still looks tired and pale. The color still hasn’t returned to his cheeks or the light to his eyes. He’s better, but he’s not the same Hermann who’d stepped off the train. The little boy blinks hard.
What if he’s never the Manny who left for England and or the one who got off that train again? What if this hollowed out Manny is all there is left of him? What if … what if he tries to die again?
"Manny?" he asks in a tiny, shaking voice. "Are you going to kill yourself?" His voice picks up strength and his words gain speed as he continues. "I don’t want you to die. I don’t want you to leave me forever." By the time he finishes, the little boy chokes on sobs and wipes fiercely at his tears.
"I’m not leaving you," Hermann says gently. "I made a mistake the other night and I won’t make it again. I’m here to stay. We’ll help each other, alright?" Bastien nods and buries his tear-streaked face against his brother’s bony chest. Hermann’s soft feathers brush his arms as his brother folds them around them both.
For the first time since he walked into the kitchen on Sunday morning, Bastien thinks everything might be alright.
Notes: The mental image of the two littlest Gottliebs sharing ice cream and watching movies wouldn't leave my head. And, then, of course, I had to add feels.
===Vigil===
Lars opens the door, pulling his eldest son's attention from the book he reads with a small light. 
The young man and his father exchange nods. Dietrich rises from his chair and leaves quietly. Lars takes his place in the rocking chair at Hermann's bedside.
"You look like your mother, Hermann. Have you inherited her madness as well?" he whispers.
The boy snuffles and shifts in his sleep, wings rustling against the blankets swamping him.
"You face enough hardship, you do not need to call more down." 
Lars sighs and runs his fingers through his rapidly greying hair.
"Any exposure is enough to strip what little freedom you have. Your infatuation and your British friends are not worth what will come."
He reaches out and gently strokes Hermann's fine hair as he speaks.
"Your mother bargained with a true devil who will follow you to your grave. I do what little I can, but I cannot protect you if you make no effort to protect yourself."
Hermann makes a soft, contented sound, as his wings flutter daintily.
"I hope you never learn how fine a line we tread, son. I hope you can find a way to be happy with what you are left. We must play the hands we are dealt."
Lars settles back in his chair and watches his winged son sleep.
====Thoughts====
I assume this takes place when Hermann's a teenager based on "your British friends." The problem is, all of Lars' language paints a picture of an infant Hermann. Maybe something like, "Lars gently [moves Hermann's wrists so the blankets weren't catching on the bandage]" but with actual pretty words as opposed to BLAH.
"Your mother bargained with a true devil[; one] who will follow you to your grave.
Hermann and Lars strike me as reasonable people (mostly). I know that some things are easier to say when no one's listening, but why wouldn't Lars just /tell/ Hermann all this, especially if he's got it so articulate? What if, instead, Lars is just thinking all of this? "My dear child, if only I could impress upon you the risks you face!" and other vague ideas.
==Apoapsis==
===Transferred===
Hermann tries to fill as little space as possible in the front seat of his father's car as they travel to Technische Universität Berlin on the first day of the spring semester. Unlike at the start of classes at the University of Manchester six months earlier, Hermann feels no excitement at the prospect of taking college courses in physical classrooms face-to-face with professors and other students.
Here, he won't be Hermann Gottlieb, astronomy and physics major, the top performing first year student in the program. At the TU he'll be the skinny, disabled son of Lars Gottlieb, the man who is the anchor of the university's robotics engineering program. Even worse, the professors and some of the students will know he was admitted late as a favor to the star researcher by the college's administrators. Hermann isn't a person anymore, if he ever was. He's his father's shadow.
He's freezing despite the bright sunshine streaming in the car windows and wearing a heavy coat, two sweaters, a shirt, an undershirt, and his binding. He hasn't been comfortably warm for weeks: not since that unfortunate night in the back garden. His bandaged wrists still itch under his cuffs.
Hermann feels dizzy and weak as his father pulls to the curb outside the mathematics building. He wants to be somewhere else—almost anywhere else—but he lacks the energy and will to fight. He knows a struggle would be futile. He couldn't stop his transfer to this school. He couldn't stop being separated from the first friends he'd ever had. He's too small, too young, too weak, too broken to struggle and resigns himself to the future his father is choosing for him. He has no longer has control over his life, if he ever did.
"Meet me outside the library at five P.M., Hermann. Behave yourself," his father commands as Hermann levers himself out of the car.
"Yes, Father," he replies quietly.
His wings tremble as he checks his binding and limps toward the building in search of his first class. He can't remember in which courses his father enrolled him and he examines the schedule he plans to blindly follow for the day. His father handed him the calendar along with a backpack full of books that morning as they left the house.
The other students stare as he takes a seat at the back of the room near the door. They've already heard about me. The professor's crippled son. Hermann scans the room with his peripheral vision. I'm the youngest student here, he notes. At least that's the same as at Manchester.
He takes the minutes before the lecture begins to study the courses his father chose for him. They are all mathematics related, except for "Introduction to Spoken Japanese." None address astrophysics or astronomy, Hermann's true interests, despite the TU's well-respected program in the field. The Japanese course represents his father's lone concession to Hermann's preferences and an acknowledgment of his talent for languages. Hermann knows he should be angry, but he can't summon the energy. Instead, he scratches at his wrists and waits for the lecturer to arrive, mind blank.
The lecture itself is boring, repeating as it does material he'd covered the previous semester at Manchester. Hermann fiddles with his pencil and mentally calculates the Fibonacci sequence to keep himself awake.
The break until his next lecture spans several hours so Hermann pushes himself to the library. There he finishes the assigned reading and exercises for the morning's class. He twirls his pencil and looks out the window for a bit, then completes the problem sets for the next five chapters in the textbook, correcting two wrong calculations in the examples as he goes. He pulls out the book for the next lecture and does the same, reading the first five chapters and working through the exercises, which barely engage his attention.
Hermann gives up on coursework and wanders into the stacks, returning to his seat with a small pile of fiction anthologies in French. He reads, losing himself in the stories until the time to walk to his next class arrives.
The afternoon lecture is worse than the morning one. The teaching assistant presenting makes a number of mistakes in his examples and explanations. Hermann bites his tongue and lets the errors pass.
The desire to correct the instructor brings up memories of the first week of classes at Manchester and his classmates' reactions to his rebuke of Doctor Munro. And Edan. He scratches his wrists again. He remembers Dietrich's warning not to itch so as not to reopen the injuries. Hermann forces his hands to lie flat on the surface of his desk and breathes deeply through his nose until the urge passes.
He tunes out the lecture and marks time until the end of the period. With no satisfaction he notes he's already finished the homework the instructor assigns and drags himself back to the library to wait for his father.
Hermann flips through the books for the next day's classes, sighs, retrieves the French stories, and reads until the sun begins to set and the time to meet his father arrives. The man doesn't bother to greet him as Hermann climbs into the car. They drive home in silence.
Back at the house, Hermann makes himself a sandwich and retreats to his room. He feels too tired and too cold to undress, even though his wings scream for release after their first day bound in weeks. He lies motionless, face buried in his pillow, and refuses to respond to a knock on his door. Bastien lets himself in.
"Manny?" he asks. Hermann hums in response. "Are you okay?"
Hermann hears the fear in his little brother's voice. He turns his head to face Bastien and pats the mattress next to himself in invitation. "I'm tired, Hasi. It was a long, hard day for me," he says.
"If you're tired and you've finished your homework, you should go to bed," Bastien says practically as he sits down. "Are you done with your homework?"
"Yes, Hasi."
"Then I'll get your pajamas." The boy jumps up and rummages in Hermann's wardrobe to find the flannel pants Hermann usually wears to sleep. Hermann smiles for the first time all day at the serious look on his younger brother's face as the boy hands him the clothes. He peels off his layers and shivers despite the warmth of the room as he finishes changing. Bastien, as always, strokes one of Hermann's wings before embracing his brother carefully. Tonight, Bastien waits at the bedside until Hermann eases himself between the sheets and arranges his wings for sleep.
"Sweet dreams, Manny," Bastien says.
"Thank you, Hasi. You, too," Hermann replies. Bastien smiles brightly and turns off the light as he leaves the room.
Hermann sighs shakily and wipes his tearing eyes on his pillowcase. He lies awake for a long while as his mind subjects him to a mass of swirling half-formed thoughts and worries. Eventually, he yields to exhaustion and sleeps.
===White Lines=== 
"5 Times Hermann Wasn't a Monster": Four; originally posted here; revised by "Lines"
Months after his first, and only, kiss he was still an emotional mess. Thanks to Dietrich he could at least tell Edan he tru ly loved him and that he was tru ly sorry that things went the way they did. O n one hand, he was happy that he got to hear his thick accent one last time, on the other, he was heartbroken by the fact that after that last call Edan never tried to contact him again. 
Surely he begged the other boy not to, deep inside he feared for what his Father would do If he caught Edan anywhere near him, but Edan said he loved him too. He gave up so easily .... 
Hermann looked down at the scars on his thin wrist. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel the blood dripping, the life flowing out of him through the deep gashes he dug into his own flesh. Now, despite his inner turmoil, he could see how desperate and insane he was to even try something like that. Even i f once in a while he wished he had succeeded, most of the time he was just too grateful that Dietrich and Karla found him and saved him that night. 
By now he knew them by heart. The crisscross pattern etched in raised white lines over his pale grey skin. It looked like a wild animal had attacked him; sharp teeth and long claws against a literally bird-boned boy. It looked like a monster had done that to him. In more ways than one, he thought it was what actually happened. 
===Connections===
"Not Everyone Agrees": Four; originally posted here; revised by "Romantic"
Months after his first kiss with Hermann, he’s still an emotional mess. Thanks to Hermann's brother, the other boy told him he truly loved him and he was truly sorry things went the way they did. On one hand, he is happy he heard Hermann’s singular Manchester-via-Bavaria accent one last time. On the other, his heart breaks every time his phone rings from another number.
Surely Hermann begged him not to contact him, afraid of what his father would do if he caught him anywhere near him, but he said he loves him, too. He still hasn't given up on finding a way to see Hermann again, to bring him back to Manchester ....
Edan looks down at his empty hands. If he closes his eyes, he can feel Hermann's long fingers in his, feel Hermann's always pale, cool skin soaking up warmth from his body. Now, despite his sadness, he is glad he was able to give that tiny gift to the fragile, lonely boy he loves. Even though he'll probably never see him again, he feels incredibly grateful Hermann's brother and sister found and saved him that night.
By now he knows the options which won't work by heart. Hermann can't simply come back. Too young. Can't be emancipated. Needs parental permission. Can't marry Edan. Too young and needs permission. Himself threatened with charges if he comes within Hermann's father's sight. In more ways than one, they are trapped in the same cage, even though they can't touch each other.
Edan won't abandon him and begs Iggy to keep track. Just in case.
==2007 - 2008==
===Aces===
(2007)
Originally posted here; revised by "Attractive Nuisance". 
Bastien drops the video game controller onto the floor and takes a deep breath. "Manny, have you ever kissed someone?"
Hermann glances up from his textbook. "Yes," he says eventually.
"Do you like kissing?"
"Ah … yes."
"I don't."
"You've tried?"
"Yeah. I kissed both Sofie and Max, just in case it was different with girls and boys. Both were awful." He mimes retching.
Hermann blinks for a moment and Bastien's stomach fills with butterflies.
"That's alright, Hasi. Some people don't like or want … um … intimate contact."
"Sex?"
Hermann blushes. "Yes, sex. Or kissing. Or anything sexual."
"Oh. Thank god. I was afraid something is wrong with me."
"There's nothing wrong with you," Hermann assures him. "It's the same way Dietrich is only attracted to girls and Karla is only attracted to boys and I'm attracted to … whoever I'm attracted to. You're not attracted to anyone. We're all normal."
Bastien slumps against his brother, giggling nervously.
Hermann laughs and pushes Bastien onto the floor. "It's not going to be easy for you, though. A lot of people won't understand and accept this part of you."
"Like you and your wings."
"Sort of." Hermann smiles crookedly. "You won't need to hide so carefully as I do." He cocks his head. "You may want to begin wearing a mask, though."
Bastien raises one of his eyebrows.
"If you don't, I'm afraid you're too good-looking to avoid all sorts of annoying requests for dates."
"Oh, no!" Bastien whines, flinging his arms melodramatically. "That's going to get really old, really fast."
"I'm sure you'll persevere."
Bastien pops his head back over the couch cushions. "Speaking of perseverance, want a game of chess?"
"I'll crush you again, you know."
"You can try, Manny, but I've been practicing. You might be surprised at how much better I am."
"Get the board and we'll see about that."
===Eighteen===
Originally posted here; revised by "Zero". 
—June 9, 2007— 
 
Hermann limps into the foyer and drops his backpack, rain and city center smells clinging to his hair.
"Welcome home, birthday boy!"
"Thank you, Hasi."
"You feel like an adult now?" Bastien leans in and whispers, "Ready to make your escape?"
"In May. I have to wait until I graduate." Hermann's voice turns steely. "Then I'm moving to England and never coming back."
"You'll still visit, though, right?"
"O-of course. I'm sorry. I let myself be carried away when I think about leaving."
Bastien hugs him tightly. "I knew you wouldn't forget about me."
"Never." Hermann squeezes back.
"Oh yeah. Dietrich has a night shift so he can't make it, but he stopped by with a package for you. It's on your bed."
Hermann waves as they separate.
He sits next to the unmarked envelope, stretching his knee as he pulls off his sweater and unbuttons his shirt. "Hasi! Did Dietrich say who sent this?"
"No! What do you want to drink?"
"Water will be fine!" Hermann picks up the package and weighs it, then flips it over. Shrugging, he gingerly tears it open. A black t-shirt falls out.
No note though.
He unfolds the garment.
Unknown Pleasures. Joy Division.
Hermann slowly drops his hands and the shirt to his lap. "He remembered," he murmurs.
He threads himself through garment.
Bastien peeks through the doorway. "I’ve got the snacks! You ready?"
Hermann smooths the shirt across his chest and smiles, a little crookedly. "Am I ever not ready to stare at David Tennant for an hour?"
Bastien chokes on his soda. "I still don’t know what you see in him. He’s too skinny. And freckled. And Scot—"
Hermann's jaw tenses.
"Oh. Sorry, Manny."
"It's alright. Let's get settled before it starts."
Hermann rests his arm on Bastien's shoulder as they shuffle to the living room.
===Disallowance===
(2008)
Originally posted here as part of "Odds and Events"; revised by "Lovestruck". 
Disallowance (English) : refusal to allow, reject, veto; refusal to admit the truth or validity of
"Psst!" she whispers, not as quietly as she thinks in the small room.
Her again. Do not roll your eyes.
"What now?"
A new voice. She brought a friend? To a review session?
"Don't you just want to hug him?"
Not another overview of her love life.
"Who? The teaching assistant?" The new girl cocks her head and squints.
What? Keep writing.
"Duh! This's the one I told you about."
She's been talking to others? About hugging me? Is she mad as well as annoying?
"He's all sharp edges. You could cut glass with those cheekbones, but you'd also cut you."
What does that even mean?
"He just needs someone to feed him."
I am perfectly capable of feeding myself, miss.
"You don't want a boyfriend. You want a kid to mother."
I am not a child. I don't need anyone's help, let alone yours.
The first girl sticks out her tongue.
Aha! Really, if you were trying to get away with this at least change your seat from time to time. Would you be quiet, please.
She blushes viciously.
That's more like it.
She slides lower in her seat. "Oh god. He hates me."
I simply wish you would let me do my job.
"He hates that you're talking in his class—"
Yes, I do. So why are you talking?
"—Boy's too serious."
About my work, yes, so will you please let me finish?
"He's adorable, though."
She is completely mad. Do not blush. Be still, wings.
The second girl rolls her eyes. "If you're so interested in him, you should say something. Get to him before someone else does."
Oh, yes. Join the non-existent queue.
"I dunno ... he's out of my league, I think."
I am out of your species, young lady.
"Do you want me to talk to him for you? 'Cuz I will."
Please don't. We'll all regret it.
"No! No, I'll say something. When the time is right."
There will never be a 'right' time.
"Well, you'd better hurry up. He graduates at the end of the semester."
Thank goodness.
"Oh god. I don't need that kind of pressure. Why couldn't he just ask me?"
Because I am not interested. I can't be.
Category:Ficlet
Category:Scraps
Category:Originals
Category:Gottlieb family
Category:Gottlieb family (ficlet)
Category:Not Everyone Agrees
Category:Odds and Events
Category:Pages in need of tags
Category:Ficlet (archive)