The League of Extra Ordinary Gentlemen

The third chapter of Total Drama Revolution, posted on July 2, 2011. The contestants hunt four mysterious "gentlemen" across the city. Meanwhile, Vincent and Donny get sidetracked and order snacks, accidentally provoking the wrath of a grouchy salesman.
==Story==
"Blah blah blah, last time on Total Drama, the kids cooked. Yeah, that's all I can remember. Heck, I don't even know the season's name." says Chef.
Chris walks in. "Chef, what are you doing?" he asks.
"Yo, man, you said you wanted me to do the intro." says Chef.
"No, I said that you should do anything but the intro." says Chris.
"All righ'. I'll leave." says Chef, and he walks away, cursing.
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution..." begins Chris, "The two teams competed in a brutal cooking challenge. The Epic Platypi made some amazing French cuisine thanks to Chef Antoine, and the Dancing Bugs kind of failed. They voted out their weakest, and most annoying, team member Lizza. Only nineteen campers remain. Who will be voted out next? Find out now, on Total... Drama... Revolution!"
"Hey, Chris." says Antoine, walking up to him. "We just stayed in the restaurants' bathrooms last night. When are you gonna show us our real cabins?"
"Glad you asked, boy." says Chris. "This way, everyone, if you please."
"What the noodles is this about?" grumbles Northworth.
"I'm showing you your new rooms, so don't sass me." says Chris. "Here's the Bugs' room."
Chris leads the Dancing Bugs to a room with a lava lamp, lots of hip beds, and new-wave patterns on the walls.
"Sweetness." says Northworth.
"This place is lax." says Vincent.
"I know, right? I could totally chill here all day." says Donny.
"Well, the challenge is in half an hour, so you don't have that much time. There's string cheese in the fridge, by the way." says Chris.
"I LOVE STRING CHEESE!" yells Vincent. "This place is getting better an' better, eh?"
"I'm gonna go to sleep. Don't bother me." says Dolph.
"Now that Lizza's gone, nobody can bother you." says Gustavo.
"Except for maybe Tasia." says Dolph.
"Bullying's not nice, duuuude." says Tasia, who's burrowing into blankets.
"What is she doing?" asks Mattie.
"I don't know, but she has issues." says Abbey.
"Mmm, just ignore her." says Kim.
"You guys were very courteous of each other last challenge. I really like my team." says Ori.
"Aw, shut it." says Gustavo.
"What? I'm trying to be sweet and kind." says Ori.
"Yeah, but we know you're going to go back to 'Blargh! You're stupid!'" says Dolph.
"You are not acting like a gentleman right now." says Ori, and mutters a "Hmph!"
"All right, Platypi, here's your room." says Chris.
"This room is crap." says Northworth.
"Dude, you said you liked the Bugs' room, and it's exactly like this one." says Trick.
"I have changes in my feelings." says Northworth.
"Hey, check it out, man, an arcade game." says Antoine. "It looks like Galaxy Invaders."
"Dude, I love that game! I used to play it all the time when I was like six." says Trick.
"That game is chill, bro." says Kavren.
"What's with the weird slang goin' on here?" asks Toad.
"Don't know, man. Don't know." says Antoine, shaking his head.
"What's your favorite color, guys?" asks MacKenzie to the other girls.
"Pink." says Chelsey.
"Leopard-print." says Elle.
"Puce." says PJ quietly.
"I'm colorblind." says Cammy.
"Aww, no you're not. Stop lying." says Elle.
"No, I'm serious." says Cammy seriously.
"What color is the trophy on my shirt?" asks Elle.
"Orange." says Cammy.
"Oh, maybe you weren't kidding." says Elle quietly.
Cammy says in the confessional, "Ha-ha, suckers."
"Hey, MacKenzie." blushes Toad, walking quietly up to her.
"Oh, look, the first ever couple of the season! How nice." says Chelsey rudely.
"Can it, Chels. Give 'em a chance." whispers Elle.
"What would you like, Toad?" asks MacKenzie, obviously trying to be nice.
"Umm, I just wanted to say hi..." says Toad.
Northworth makes a farting noise. Elle and Chelsey laugh obnoxiously.
Toad says in the confessional, "I want that MacKenzie girl so badly. But I don't think she likes me."
"Really?" asks Northworth, poking his head in.
"Shut up." says Toad.
"All right, guys." says Chris, rudely coming into the Platypi's room. "Time for your second challenge."
"I wonder what it is." whispers Antoine. Trick nods.
Outside, Chris is explaining the challenge. "Now, as you may or may not know, Revolution City is a prime place for sage-like gentlemen to hang out."
"What do you mean exactly, by 'gentlemen'?" asks Dolph.
"Let me explain the challenge." snaps Chris. "Anyways, the gentlemen know a lot about this city. It's your job to find and catch the four gentlemen. There are many places in the city, so it may be hard. But who cares? The first team to catch at least three gentlemen wins invincibility!"
"This should be a piece of cake." says Mattie.
"Oh, here's some burlap sacks." says Chris, tossing each contestant a big sack.
"Hey, wasn't there the exact same challenge last season, except with tikis?" asks Vincent.
"Ummmmm, no..." says Chris. "Now, get started. The gentlemen are being paid-- I mean, waiting."
Vincent and Donny are walking together.
"Say, Donny, it looks like there's a smoothie place over there. Wanna stop by and get some?" asks Vincent.
"I love smoothies, man, but we should participate in the challenge." says Donny.
"It says that they're 1/2 priced today." says Vincent.
Donny runs up to the smoothie guy. "Hey, can we have a large Mango Twist and a medium Kiwi Breeze?"
"Sure, man. Coming right up." says the smoothie guy.
"All right, we'll quickly drink these smoothies, then back to the challenge." says Vincent.
Five minutes later, the boys are all done.
"Hey, that was good. I want another one." says Donny.
"Aw, come on, mate! We have to get a gentleman!" says Vincent.
"One more Kiwi Breeze." says Donny to the smoothie guy.
"Whatever." says the smoothie guy frustratedly.
A gentleman with a purple suit and a blatantly fake mustache comes up to them.
"Hey, look, a gentleman." says Donny.
"Yo, yo, yo! I mean, greetings." says the gentleman. His pants fall down.
"I wonder who it could be?" asks Vincent sarcastically.
Donny rips off the gentleman's mustache.
"Hey, yo, my mustache! Give it back, homie! I ain't gettin' paid much fo' this, word!" says Devin.
"Fine, but get into th' sack." says Vincent, and pushes the "gentleman" into the sack.
Elle, Chelsey, Cammy, and MacKenzie are having no luck. PJ is stalking them quietly.
"That fat gentleman got away. Ugh." says Chelsey.
"I wish Tacgnol could come in and kill him." says Cammy.
"Bla-ha-ha-ha!" screams a shrimpy gentleman in a green suit, running past.
"GET HIM!" yells Elle.
"You'll never catch me alive!" says the gentleman. He runs away, and closer to Mattie and Abbey.
"So, ever had a boyfriend?" asks Abbey.
"Yeah, just this one kid a really long time ago. But he was cheating on me..." says Mattie.
"Bwahaha!" screams the gentleman, galloping past the girls.
"C'mon, Abbey, we finally found one!" says Mattie.
The gentleman stops.
"Wait..." he says. "Did you just say Abbey?"
"Um, yeah, that's my name." says Abbey.
"My best friend is named Abby! Wanna meet her?" asks the gentleman.
"That's no gentleman." says Mattie. "It's Nic."
"What? Who is this 'Nic' you speak of? That name is otherworldly to me! Come on, Abby, show yourself." says the gentleman.
"I'm not in the mood." says Mattie.
The gentleman rips off his shirt, revealing a ribby belly.
"Yup, it's Nic. Get in the sack." says Mattie.
"Wanna go out with me?" asks Nic.
"Gross." says Abbey.
Tasia is asleep on the ground.
"Come on, you have to help me catch the gentlemen." says Kim, poking her.
"Nooooo..." says Tasia woozily.
A gentleman with an awkward nose, an afro wig, a black suit, and braces walks by.
"Hmmm, where have I seen him before?" asks Kim.
"Over 10,000!" says the gentleman.
"Get in th' bag, Gary." says Kim.
"Who's this Gary?" asks the gentleman.
"This is the worst challenge ever." says Kim.
"I knooooow, riiiight?" says Tasia.
The gentleman runs away.
Ori is walking about and sees a sack.
"Hm, funny that someone would just leave a sack right in the middle of nowhere." he says.
The sack rustles.
"I wonder what's in there?" asks Ori. He moves closer to the sack.
"BLARGH!" screams a morbidly obese gentleman, with no shirt and a fake beard.
"AAAAAAUGH!" screams Ori.
"You will never catch me!" says the gentleman.
He runs out of the sack, revealing that he is censored and naked.
"Ewwww..." says Ori, passing out.
Kavren, Trick, and Antoine are at a fast food place.
"Y'know, we should really start to find gentlemen." says Trick, eating a hamburger.
"Nah, these fries are good." says Antoine.
"I like this ketchup." says Kavren, drinking a bottle of ketchup.
"Oh lawd, dat's nasty." says Antoine.
The big-nosed gentleman quietly walks by.
"Shhh." says Kavren, and he tiptoes by the gentleman.
"EEK!" screams the gentleman.
"Wow, this show has a lot of screaming, am I right?" asks Trick.
"Totally." says Antoine.
The gentleman has Kavren in a headlock.
"He just got served." says Antoine.
Kavren finally manages to stuff the gentleman in a bag.
"There, got it!" he says.
"Mmrpht." says the gentleman, in the bag.
"I think we got him." says Antoine. "Now, let's go."
Chris meets almost everyone back at the center of town.
"Everyone's here, right?" he asks.
"Where are Vincent and Donny?" asks Dolph.
Vincent and Donny are still at the smoothie place.
"Sirs, you've ordered like 10 smoothies. Can you leave now?" asks the angry smoothie guy.
"I'm so fat I can't get up." says Vincent.
"And the challenge is over." says Donny.
"Meh, let's just wait here for a few minutes..." says Vincent.
Donny yawns and falls asleep.
"You know, I'm suing you if you don't leave." says the smoothie guy. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."
Vincent and Donny sprint away.
"All right, time to spend all that money that they paid me with on some inappropriate magazines." says the smoothie guy after the two have left.
The two teams are still gathered in the center of town, but now with Vincent and Donny.
"Time to count up your gentlemen." says Chris.
Vincent pulls the sack out of his shirt, somehow, and dumps out the first gentleman, who is not wearing pants.
"Go home, Devin." says Chris.
"Aw, c'mon, G! Why can't th' Dev-ster compete in th' new season, yo?" asks Devin.
"GO HOME." says Chris.
Devin sadly walks away.
Mattie and Abbey pull out the second gentleman from their sack.
"All right, Nic, here's $20. Time to leave." says Chris.
"Good-bye. We shall meet again." says Nic to Abbey, and he then makes a clicking noise and runs away.
Ori dumps out the fat, third gentleman.
"I'm morbidly obeeeese!" screams the gentleman.
"Arthur, put on some clothes." says Chris. "And leave."
"Fiiiine." says Arthur, and he trots away.
Trick, Kavren, and Antoine take out the last gentleman.
"Oh, man, I love LOLcats! Over nine thousand! Nyan Cat! Annoying Grape!" says the gentleman.
"Bye, Gary." says Chris.
"See ya guys later." says Gary happily.
"All right, the Dancing Bugs have won with three gentlemen captured!" says Chris.
"But they weren't even really gentlemen." says Gustavo.
"So what? We needed challenge ideas. Chef thought of it." says Chris.
Chef whistles innocently.
The Epic Platypi are in their dorm, trying to figure out who to boot.
"I say Trick. He's smart, talented, and..." shudders Northworth. "Hot."
"That boy is quite the looker." says Elle.
"Yeah, and he does seem popular with the team. I first thought skaters were all social outcasts, but he proved me otherwise." says Chelsey.
"He's stupid, and he's dead meat." says Northworth.
Trick and Antoine are playing a racing game on their TV.
"What was that?" asks Trick.
"I think he wants to vote you out." says Antoine.
"Vote that silent girl out." says Trick.
"Hey, guys, whatcha talkin' 'bout?" asks Toad.
"Stuff." says Antoine, "YES! FINAL LAP!"
Chris is at the elimination ceremony. "Today, we have Gilded Chrises, for some unknown reason. Chef's idea, I think."
Chef grimaces from the Taxi of Losers.
"Chelsey, Elle, Antoine, Trick, and Toad are all safe." says Chris. The five get their Gilded Chrises.
"Yay!" says Chelsey. "This will totally raise my popularity."
"Cammy, Kavren, and MacKenzie." says Chris. The three get their Gilded Chrises.
"Bloop pork." says Kavren.
"What?" asks MacKenzie.
"Ha, only the cool kids know." says Kavren coolly.
"PJ and Northworth..." says Chris. "You both received a ton of votes. The final Chris goes to..."
"Northworth."
"In your face, you Dumbellinas!" says Northworth.
"..." says PJ, and leaves on the Taxi of Losers.
"That girl creeped me out." says Toad.
"What an uneventful elimination. Anyways, tune in next time for more, I guess." says Chris.
==Author's Notes==
*The title is a reference to the comic book series/film The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. 
*The gentlemen challenge was essentially a rehash of the tiki god challenge from the previous story. It was the first challenge planned for TDRev, mostly just an excuse to bring back classic comic relief characters.
*This chapter marks the first appearance of Smoothie Guy.