The New Heroes (ADWSS Episode Transcript)

*(The episode begins with SpongeBob watching the news)
*TV: Bikini Bottom's population has increased by two! Which is rather rare considering that we're in the middle of nowhere.
*SpongeBob: Yeah.....
*TV: These two people are Raven and Sara, and they live at 128 Conch Street.
*SpongeBob: Huh, I guess I'll go visit them.
*Gary: Meow meow meow.
*(subtitles appear, saying "Can I come Spongey?")
*SpongeBob: No, you can't come.
*Gary: Meow meow?
*(subtitles appear, saying "Why not Spongey?")
*SpongeBob: Because.... uh....... they.... are....... um..... allergic to snail shells. Bye! (exits the room)
*TV: And Sara absolutely loves snails and owns one named Shelly.
*Gary: Meow!
*(subtitles appear, saying "Spongey!")
*(Scene: Conch Street)
*SpongeBob: (exits the pineapple, and walks torwards Sandy's house which is at the right, when he is at Sandy's he stops as he hears someone talking to him)
*Sandy: Where are you going?
*SpongeBob: To Raven and Sara's house.
*Sandy: Who are THEY?
*SpongeBob: Wow, does ANYBODY still watch the news on TV? (continues walking to the right, he then finds a house that is pink on the left side, and dark purple on the right side, he rings the doorbell on the house)
*???: (in dull voice) Who is it?
*???: (in annoying helium-like voice) Yay, a visitor! Isn't this exciting?
*???: (dull voice) No.
*(the door opens, to reveal a black-haired human wearing light purple clothing, and another human wearing a dark purple hoodie, they are both wearing helmets)
*Person in dark purple hoodie: (in dull voice) Hello. Bye. (attempts to close the door, but the other person stops him)
*Light purple clothed person: Raven! Well, um, hi, I'm Sara, and she is (points at the dark hooded person) Raven.
*Raven: (in dull voice) Yipee.
*Sara: So, what brings you here?
*SpongeBob: Well, since you're my new neighbors, I was wondering if you'd come to my house so we could get to know each other.
*Sara: That sounds wonderful!
*Raven: (mocking Sara) That sounds (stops mocking Sara) lame.
*Sara: (yelling so loudly it blows off part of Raven's cloak, showing a black dress and pale skin) IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL, RAVEN!
*Raven: (scared and nevous, speaking quickly) Yes, um, that would be wonderful, heh heh, LET'S GO.
*(Scene: Patrick's Rock)
*TV: On September 7, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Show will air its last episode as it is CANCELLED!
*Patrick: What? I couldn't hear that.
*TV: CANCELLED!
*Patrick: What? I couldn't hear that either.
*TV: CANCELLED!
*Patrick: WHAT?
*TV: CANCELLED!
*Patrick: Shut up, TV, I heard that.
*TV: CANCELLED!
*Patrick: (with unamused face, shuts off the TV)
*(Scene: SpongeBob's House)
*SpongeBob:..... and that's all of my house.
*Sara: What an amazing house you have!
*Raven: What a lame house you have.
*Sara: Could you give us a tour of the rest of Bikini Bottom? We're new here and don't know this place so well.
*Raven: No!
*SpongeBob: Yes!
*Raven: Egh.
*(They go to the car, Raven and Sara get there first)
*Raven: Huh, I'm hungry. (suddenly, her hand starts glowing black, and a black laser comes out of her hand which creates a portal that a sandwhich falls out of)
*Sara: Hey, SpongeBob can't see us using our powers! (uses green lasers to fry the sandwhich, it burns into ashes)
*Raven: Aw man.
*SpongeBob: (enters car) Uh..... by any chance do you know how to drive?
*Raven: But you're 28. Why do you want us to drive? I mean, do you really expect 15 year-olds to know how to drive?
*Sara: Well you should, because I know how! (begins driving, but crashes into Patrick's Rock immediately) Oh wait.... I don't know how.
*Patrick: Who are you people?
*Raven: People that don't care about you. (leaves the rock, the boat falls onto Patrick)
*Sara: Hello, I'm Sara! What's your name?
*Patrick: Get this boat off of me.
*Sara: Why hello, "Get this boat off of me"! Is that a foreign name or something?
*Patrick: Yeah, it's French for "call a doctor".
*Sara: How interesting! I never really paid attention in French class but it's always great to learn something new!
*Patrick: Ow.
*Sara: Is that your name in German? Never really paid attention in that class either.
*Patrick: Argh...... my favorite show is cancelled, and now I'm in a car accident..... this is the worst day ever.
*Sara: Is that your name in Chinese?
*Patrick: (facepalms)
*Raven: (comes back in) Sara, can I talk to you for a moment?
*Sara: Okay! (steps on SpongeBob's head to exit with Raven)
*SpongeBob: Ow!
*Sara: (offscreen) You speak German too?!
*(Scene: Raven and Sara)
*Raven: That star guy said his favorite show was cancelled. He must have been talking about Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!
*Sara: Yeah, and.....
*Raven: That means WE could make our OWN show and replace those elderly dummies!
*Sara: Yeah! But wouldn't it be a bit sudden to just say "Guess what I have superpowers"?
*SpongeBob: (comes outside) You have superpowers? (begins to yell) HEY EVERYBODY, RAVEN AND SARA HAVE-
*Raven: (shuts SpongeBob's mouth) I see your point.... now that SpongeBob knows it's going to be even harder to keep this secret.
*Patrick: (offscreen) You have superpowers? (yelling) HEY EVERBODY-
*Sara: (runs at a superhuman speed towards Patrick in a green flash and shuts his mouth) Yeah...... you know Raven, I think we should have talked somewhere else more private.
*Raven: Why?
*Sara: Because we're in the middle of Bikini Bottom and I'm pretty sure everyone heard our conversation. Let's go now.
*Raven: (creates a portal, they both jump in and fall into a portal above the portal) Oops.
*(Raven and Sara gain so much momentum they begin to turn into a purple and black blur)
*Raven: (manages to put another portal on a wall, so they fall through the portal and are launched out of the wall onto SpongeBob's face, which stretches back, she puts a portal on the ceiling of Patrick's rock and they are launched back torwards the portal, causing them to faceplant onto the floor of Patrick's Rock)
*TV: It has just been discovered that Raven and Sara have superpowers because they were idiotic enough to have a private conversation in the middle of the city.
*Sara: I told you!
*TV: So we've decided to replace Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy show with the all-new Raven and Sara show!
*Raven: I call 99% of cash made from the show!
*Sara: Thank you for making such a fair deal!
*Raven: (snickers)
*(Scene: Raven and Sara Show set)
*Director: In 3, 2, (points at them)
*Raven: (sarcastically dances around, begins to sing horribly offkey on purpose)
*It's the Raven and Sara Show
*We save the world
*One step at a time
*Blah blah blah.....
*Chorus: Annoying lyrics!
*Sara: Blah blah blah......
*Director: CUT!
*Sara: Aw, what did we do wrong? Was it the song? I think Raven gave me a fake copy of the theme song lyrics. Again.
*Director: RAVEN! (chases Raven out of view)
*Patrick: Nice job!
*Sara: Thanks, Call a doctor!
*Patrick: (facepalms) IT'S PATRICK!
*(episode ends)
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