East India Mountain Dew cr.

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The EIMD cr. started in 1729, but it was unnamed at the time. I was just learning how to brew rum in 1728, but it wasn't that tasty at all. So this bloke comes along and tosses some strange ingredients in my brew, and it turned the color of red. I gave the drunk a shove, and he scurried off like a rat, firing shots into the sky. I turned back to a "ruined" batch of rum, and decided to take a taste from it. The groggifying brew had a taste that wasn't all that good at first. I kept tasting to make it better, then, at the one sip I took, I had myself a fine batch of brew. So, I headed to Tortuga, for locals to try it out. Not my best start, as the Faithful Bride lies there. I didn't have much success advertising my product. I went to Port Royal, where many commoners were interested in a red brew that had the potency of grog. Many takers I had, and word got around on Port Royal. I did some studying later that night, which isn't common at all for a pirate. I found the ingredients that bloke had knocked into the brew, and I made a whole batch of it again. On February 26, 1731, doing the daily grind, while I was selling my un-named product, a few traders offered me a company title, which I could name, logo, and have a huge can of my brew from. I took up the offer, and I named it East I﻿ndia Mountain Dew code red. Small at first, but it eventually grew. While I was finally making some sells on Cuba, a bloke tried to steal a pitcher. I had to gain my piracy back, so I shot the man in the back. There's no Navy or EITC on the beach! However, when I learned of his surviving﻿﻿﻿﻿, he tried to downgrade my product.  Fortunately, he was horribly killed by a "malfunctioned" pistol from me. I went on selling, with but a few  asking me about killing the man. I respectively answer, "No, I saw a bird flyover and tried to kill it for lunch, but my pistol malfunctioned". Eventually, people from Cuba, even captains of rumrunning ships, began to buy Mountain Dew. I do remember  one time I struck a deal with a rage ghost to protect me each night on Raven's Cove, in exchange for Mountain Dew code  red. 'Twas a memory, not needing worry of rage ghosts killing me at night. Then, April 26, 1731, I got an order from Blackbeard himself, for 100 whole barrels. If I didn't do it right, he said he would kill me. Days and nights I spent, pitching the fire and mixing the ingredients. With my Rage Ghost companion that I gave some mountain dew to every night while brewing on Raven's Cove, I didn't have to worry about creatures taking the brew. Or having to leave Raven's Cove, except for shipping orders. May 15, 1731, after 100 barrels of brewing, I take the barrels to Tia Dalma, and offer her a few extra barrels of Mountain Dew I had left over from brewing in exchange for Enchantments on the Mountain Dew. After 10 days of finding the proper materials for enough enchantments on the barrel of Mountain Dew, Tia Dalma gets to work on the barrels of Mountain Dew. May 29, 1731, after a nice 2 week stay at Cuba, and cooked Alligator Tail, I head out with my 100 barrels of rum, on my War Galleon, with my other ships steered by my helmsmen, tailing me by a quarter of a mile. I meet Blackbeard in Blackheart Strait, on June 9, 1731, and get my pay day, and went on my merry way. That went way better than I would have ever expected. I built A Mountain Dew lab in my War Brig, for experimenting on Mountain Dew with about half the money I got from Blackbeard for the barrels. August 29, 1731, I invented the can. I could sell it in whatever quantity customers wanted, instead of barrels that might last too long, and pitchers that might not last long at all. However, I only sold cans on whatever island I was on. And since I could brew at sea with my Mountain Dew Lab, I'd make a ton of cans of Mountain Dew, then sell them 'til there gone on one island each month. I made a living selling Mountain Dew to Navy Officers and Wealthy townsfolk. I invented a Mountain Dew gin to do my brewing, and retired. Today, I live in a solid gold mansion, with columns the shape of huge Mountain Dew code red soda cans standing in front of the huge door to the inside. I married a beautiful commoner that loved Mountain Dew code red and had 2 kids. Their names are Jacob Stormrage, and Isabel Stormrage. We all like Mountain Dew code red, and have fountains of it in our mansion. I however, have my own life size model of a Mountain Dew code red soda can. I now enjoy my life living in luxury.
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