Zoltan's Castration

Zoltan's Castration is the first The World of SBFW short.
==Transcript==
[The short begins with Zoltan sitting around on a park bench with an 8-ball.]
Zoltan: oh magic 8-ball, will i ever get admin?
[He shakes the 8-ball and it reads "try asking again".]
Zoltan: AGH!
[Zoltan throws the 8-ball on the floor in rage. Vanessa walks by.]
Vanessa: Oh, uh, hey Zoltan.
Zoltan: can i have admin
Vanessa: I, uh-
Zoltan: you are best user and best admin and you should be owner and-
[Dan appears out of thin air.]
Dan: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Zoltan: uhhhh-
Dan: Zoltan, that is a downright heinous statement. Everyone in The World of SBFW knows that I, Mr. Daniel Sullivan, am the best admin. Not that… slut.
Vanessa: Who are you calling a slut?
Zoltan: i- im sorry, i was joking and-
Dan: I don't care, and I am certainly not going to let such a deplorable offense happen on my watch. (grins) Do you know what this means?!
Vanessa: Oh God, here we go agai-
[The three suddenly appear on a large podium, surrounded by a large crowd of users.]
Dan: CASTRATION TIME!!!!!
[The crowd starts chanting "castrate him" over and over again.]
Zoltan: wait what's happening 
Dan: You're being castrated, son.
Zoltan: kool, sounds fun
Vanessa: You're getting your testicles cut off.
Zoltan: WHAT
Primitive: Oh, I do love a good castration!
Dan: However, first, we must hold an auction for your genitalia.
[Mr. Renaud shoots up from his seat.]
Mr. Renaud: I'll bid-
Golfpecks: FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!
Zoltan: wait wut why do u want my cock (and also balls)
Golfpecks: Classified reasons.
Dan: Going once… going twice… and sold to the funny banana man!
Golfpecks: Holy Biden! I won!
Mr. Renaud: RIGGED!
Peter Griffin: I AGREE!
Aaron: ME TOO!
Golfpecks: Oh dear.
[Mr. Renaud, Peter, and Aaron get up from their seats and beat Golfpecks up.]
Dan: That's one bruised banana.
Ian: Is it time to sing the castration song yet?!!
Mr. Renaud: I bid a million dollars! No, make that a TRILLION dollars!
Peter Griffin: I bid two trillion!
Lois Griffin: Petaaahhhhh, we don't have that much money.
Peter Griffin: Of course we do, sweetie. Don't you remember that time when I worked for Box Productions?
[Cutaway to Peter in the Hoopla's Fantastic Beach writing room.]
Peter Griffin: (smirks) Poo.
[Laugh track. End of cutaway.]
Lois Griffin: Petah, Aidan doesn't pay his employees. Haven't you read Thursday Spin-Off?
Jasbre: What a masterpiece of a spin-off that is.
Lois Griffin: I can't wait for season two, by the way.
Aaron: Well I bid three trillion dollars!
Dan: Alright, the genitals go to one Aaron Walker!
Aaron: YAY!
Zoltan: at least my penis is in safe hands with the nostalgia critic 
Aaron: My name is Aaron, not- nevermind.
Ian: Can we sing the castration song now?!
Dan: Not yet! First we need to assemble the jury!
Vanessa: Sure, why not? Let's just assemble the jury right here on the podium, not like you're not gonna chop it off anyway.
Dan: We need a panel of five unbiased experts to decide the fate of Mr. City's genitals. First five to say here-
CartoonGuy, Ian, Zoltan, Primitive, and Vanessa: Here.
Primitive: Wait, how can Zoltan be on the jury for his own trial?
Dan: I don't see the problem.
Primitive: Eh.
Dan: Should Zoltan-
CartoonGuy, Ian, Primitive, and Vanessa: Yes.
Zoltan: NO!
Dan: THE JURY HAS REACHED A VERDICT! Sir, you have been accused of egregious sexual degeneracy, blasphemy, perjury, and rule 15 violations. The court finds you guilty and sentences you to castration. Your castration is scheduled for today at 6pm.
Zoltan: what time is it now?
Dan: 6pm.
Zoltan: WAIT NO-
[The crowd starts chanting "castrate him" as Dan takes out a chainsaw.]
Vanessa: IS THAT A FUCKING CHAINSAW?!!
Peter Griffin: Huh. The tool's gotten bigger since my last castration.
Dan: Alright ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for! But first, Zoltan, do you have any last words before you are castrated?
Zoltan: join zoltan's ass
Dan: Well, there you have it folks.
[The camera turns away as Dan tears Zoltan's genitals off with the chainsaw.]
Dan: I HEREBY ANNOUNCE THAT ZOLTAN CHRIST NO LONGER HAS A PENIS OR A PAIR OF TESTICLES!
[The crowd cheers.]
Zoltan: NO!
Dan: Yes!
Vanessa: Wait, what the fuck is wrong with all of us?
Dan: Nothing, I just completed yet another successful castration as punishment for No Genitalia Gerald over here's war crimes. Not acknowledging me as the best admin, tsk tsk tsk…
[The camera pans over to Primitive and Polar at the crowd.]
Primitive: Well ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. There's your short dose of TWoS for at least a few more weeks.
Polar: Send help.
Primitive: If you enjoyed this short, please like, subscribe and share it with your friends.
Polar: I'm being tortured. Please, someone, call 911.
Primitive: (nervous laugh) Heh, I'm not sure why anyone would need to do tha-
Polar: Help.
Primitive: Now would be a good time to cut to credits.
[The short ends.]
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