The Tien And Yamcha Movie

The Tien and Yamcha Movie, also known as The Tien and Yamcha Movie: All Hell Breaks Loose, is a 4-hour film in the Tien and Yamcha movie trilogy, created by Crap Network in 2027. It features Tien Shinhan, Yamcha, The Marine, Jesus Christ, 2BDamned, Big Boss Man, Cooler, Yellow, Smoke, Allen O'Neil, and members of The Rebel Army. The movie begins with a Slender begging for his life, while Cyber Smoke stares into his soul with the bodies of his slender buddies. He tells him one thing: "You're all scum to this earth, and I will not rest until I complete Gero's mission BY KILLING YOU."
Then, Smoke blasts a hole into the Slender's head, and the scene cuts to a TITLE CARD!!!
The movie contains 3 acts, with the first two lasting 1 hour and thirty minutes, while the final act lasts two hours. This movie is also the first quarter of the Tien and Yamcha movie trilogy.
== Plot ==
=== ACT I ===
The movie truly begins at Yamcha's house, with him talking to his buddy Tien and girlfriend Mrs. Toonami, just watching TV and smoking weed while enjoying their lives. Meanwhile, in the sky, Cooler is being attacked by Yellow after she found out about his diabolical plan that won't be revealed until after the fight. They clash in the sky, with both good and evil.
*Yellow: "It's over, Cooler. I cannot let you do this!"
*Cooler: "You will never stop me, Yellow. THE DRAGON KING WILL RISE TO END CAPTAIN ZERO."
*Yellow: "Never!"
Cooler then tries to explain why resurrecting the Dragon King is in the prophecy and must happen in order for The Battle of Armageddon to never happen. Yellow tries to explain to him that the Dragon King will take over the universe, and that Armageddon has to happen for a clean slate. Yellow gets serious and tries to fight Cooler, but her power level was too low for him.
*Yellow: "No... I can't LOSE."
*Cooler: "YOU'RE FINISHED, ANA. NOW IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO DIE! PREPARE FOR MY SUPERNOVA!"
Right after Cooler said that, he created a giant ball of energy from his hand and threw it directly at Yellow. Yellow tried to shield herself, but it was too late; she was engulfed in the ball and disintegrated, killing her. After Cooler made Yellow return to the dust, he travels to Peru to speak to a friend of his.
*Cooler: "General Morden, it is time. Initiate the great invasion."
*Morden: "Good... good... ALRIGHT, MEN, IT'S TIME FOR THE TRUE INVASION."
As soon as the general said that, we cut to Rebel soldiers gearing up for war, and then back to the house. There, we see Yamcha, Tien, and Marine trolling some N00b before the news comes on for an alert: the alert of the great Rebel Army invasion beginning their attack on Cool Land and Ohio. Yamcha realizes that they need to protect the city, so they go to the capital city of the state and see the chaos, watching characters die in the battle like Police, Captain 70, and Deimos. Tien Shinhan decides to wipe out the first wave with a Shin Kikoho, and the Ohio army is losing the lives of many. Everything was going fine before the rebels deployed their first super weapon, the Jupiter King. It showed up, initiating a long fight. The Jupiter King created a Saibaman which got onto Yamcha and put him in his funny death pose, but we all know he's alive and used all his firepower on Tien. But just as everyone thought the two main characters were going to die, a beam of light came down from the sky, blasting a hole through the Jupiter King before it was cut in half and blew up, and then a man descended from the sky and said,
*???: "Greetings, my children."
IT WAS JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF. But he looked different; he looked like the Madness Combat version of Jesus (AKA Jebus). Tien asked him that question, and Jesus explained that he had to get serious, as Cooler has caused all Hell to break loose because of him wanting to end The Battle of Armageddon. 
* Jesus: "my children Cooler is going to try to revive the dragon kind Onaga so he can fulfill a fake prophecy that will stop the events of armageddon"
* Tien: " oh so scary an evil dragon why the fuck should we help you jebus?"
* Jesus: "I should mention that they are holding Hana captive in a rebel army base to make the army stronger" 
* Yamcha: "THEY FUCKING WHAT!"
Soon after yamcha heard the the Rebel Army have kidnapped Hana he was enraged and joined Jesus in his quest to stop cooler. Jesus tells them that they need to escape ohio before the Rebels send in more Jupiter kings but the roads are blocked by tanks and airports have been closed so they need to find a underground passage to the nearest state and take a plane to cool land there they will figure a plan out. Yamcha knows a place but it is guarded so they go to a sewer passage there they would meet multiple hamas militants and A man by the name of Uncle hazim Hazim tells him that its too late as the infidels have sent in another 2 thousand men and are now deploying aircraft in. 
* Hazim: "Come on we go on foot now lets go you failures"
* Jesus: "alright alright"
the 4 climb into the sewers and proceed to travel through it we cut to a few hours later where hazim tells them that they are now in indiana and they will find an exit soon but right as he tells them where the exit is he is shot 7 times in the chest by 7 rebel soldiers. They were following them it was a set up Yamcha deals with them by using his wolf fang fist then grabbing one of the rifles and shooting the last rebel soldier killing him. Yamcha Mourns the loss of Hazim and after that they climb up the latter up to Indiana. jesus guides Yamcha and Tien to the nearest airport but yamcha sees an old friend and someone he didnt know
* Yamcha: "OI MARINE WHATS UP MAN"
* Marine: "Hey Yamcha!"
* ???: "who the fuck is that"
* Yamcha: "names Yamcha"
* Clownpiece: "Names Clownpiece the fairy of hell"
* Marine: "shes actually an american fairy now what are you doing here old friend"
* Yamcha: "Marine we need you now you 2 aren't safe from the enemy plus we need more people"
* Marine: "alright fine but you better let me kill some mary sues"
Marine and Clownpiece join the team and they board the next flight to cool land. they look over the remains of Ohio looking at the chaos that happened along with the jupiter kings destroying the state the screen blacks out and we cut to the rebel army base where we see 2 girls torture hana for fun 
* ???: you will be a great test subject. 
* ???: my creator is being correct you will break and help our army 
* Hana: I WANT MY MOMMY WAAAHHH
* ???: STOP CRYING!
* ???: NAVY VITA GET OVER HERE NOW OR YOUR BOTH MINCE MEAT!
* Navy: "Sargent o'neil what do we need to do!"
* Allen: number one Navy You need to work on a new weapon Number two"
Allen points at 5 wanted posters those being jebus yamcha tien marine and clownpiece 
* Allen: "Vita i command you to hunt them down now"
* Navy: "Didn't you send Conny and Padwah to hunt them down"
* Allen: "Conny is just enjoying her time in cool land and not even gonna do it and Padwah is hunting them yes."
* Vita: "alright where are they going"
* Allen: "the next stop for them is cool land"
* Vita:"ok i must follow my orders for the army needs them dead. Navy my creator if i am destroyed by them send my clone in"
before navy could say anything vita boards a ship to cool land and the scene cuts back to our heroes in cool land they are searching for a lead for the area where onagas tomb is located but before they could do that a man appeared and pointed a gun at them
* ???: FREEZE CRIMINALS
* Yamcha: Woah dude what did we do
* Inspector Uzbek: I AM INSPECTOR UZBEK THE POLICE CHIEF OF COOL LAND AND YOU FIVE ARE UNDER ARREST FOR NOT BEING COOL
* Clownpiece: Heh who names their kid inspector uzbek
* Uzbek: THATS IT YOUR'E COMING WITH ME 
before uzbek could he was tackled by a cyborg the cyborg would reveal himself as smoke and he joins the crew he would then explain how they are being hunted as he was made by gero who was apart of the rebel army he would then tell them that they have to leave soon before Either Vita or Padwah find them Jesus decides to make everyone leave him behind while he deals with this but clownpiece wanted to fight with them Jesus tried to make her leave but she didnt want to so he decided to fight together smoke leaves with the rest as jesus and clownpiece explore cool land. 
== ACT 2 ==
The second act begins with jesus and clown exploring cool land before a tank wheel hits jesus leading him to crash into an office building and a woman proceeded to follow that wreckage clown was confused before she realized that that woman must've been padwah. Jesus was stuck between the wheel but he was able to get it off him by using his godly powers. Padwah walks near him and they proceed to talk. 
Padwah: "ah... so this is the son of god i thought you would at least put up a fight"
Jesus: "you're not strong you just got lucky while my guard was down"
Padwah: "oh so i'm not strong... WELL WATCH THIS"
Padwah would then pick up the tank wheel.
Padwah: "this is my weapon"
Jesus: "heh nice i see that this will be a good fight!"
Jesus would then pull out his binary sword and took his stance.
Jesus: "alright Lady BRING IT ON"
The fight would begin in the office with the two clashing padwah charged at jesus that would fling him across the office jesus would get back up and charged back at her the fight would continue for 5 minutes. padwah Would proceed to use her wheel as a shield as jesus would use his powers to fling chairs and tables at her 
Padwah: "Not bad but can you stop this!"
Padwah would then throw her wheel as fast as she could like a Frisbee Jesus didn't hesitate and sliced the wheel in two with his sword.
Padwah:"HOLY SHIT"
Jesus: "well little girl... ARE YOU FINISHED YET!"
Padwah: smirks "Yeah you destroyed my only weapon.. You're a pretty good fighter do you wanna get something to drink i know a place"
Jesus: "thanks for the proposition but i have no time for this"
Padwah: "fine it was a nice to fight you" 
after she said that she was almost shot by none other than fucking inspector uzbek 
Uzbek: "I GOT YOU NOW CRIMINA-"
before he could end the line uzbek was hit with a laser causing him to crash somewhere 
Vita:"tsch pathetic"
Vita: "I know where they are going Jesus it is too late"
Clownpiece: "EAT LEAD YOU COMMIE FUCK"
Vita would then be hit by 70 fucking bullets from clownpiece who picked up a M60 machine gun Vita would then fall to the ground only to get up
Vita: "did you think that you'd kill me with a gun with shitty caliber bullets"
Clownpiece: "HOW IN THE FUCK!"
Vita would slowly approach clownpiece. Clownpiece would get desperate and use her spell card 
Clownpiece: "FIREWORK MISSILES SEE YOU IN HELL WHORE"
Clownpiece would then open her palm and over 70 firework rockets would fly out of her hand and hits Vita but... she was unscathed Vita would then grab clownpiece by the neck and would fire a laser at her Clownpiece would scream for her life and would beg for her life Vita would turn her lasers power up and Piece's right half of her body and half of her face was blown off from all the power of the laser causing her right half of her body to explode clownpieces blood was spraying like a hose and the light went out of her eyes vita would toss her body aside and she would fly off jesus was disgusted and Padwah would vomit after seeing what her rebel friend did.
Jesus: "She isn't dead"
Padwah: "THE FUCK YOU MEAN SHE ISN'T DEAD"
Jesus: "Doctor Gero will take her body soon"
Padwah: "oh.... i think i need to get drunk to forget about this"
Jesus: "no shit"
the scene would black out with an overhead view of padwah and Jesus looking down at clowpieces corpse before Gero walks in the scene We return to our protagonists running away and hijacking a car Yamcha Tien Marine and Smoke would drive off to escape cool land that was before Vita Flies onto the cars roof and punched a hole through the roof
Yamcha: HOLY SHIT!
Tien: THE FUCK!
Vita: hello Scum....
Vita would then proceed to cause the car to drive off the road and crash into another part of the city and Vita would then explain how they will all die if they try to stop the rebel army and she explains in detail about how she killed clownpiece saying that she enjoyed hearing her dying screams this would enrage the marine he would activate his plasma swords and charged at Vita
Marine: "YOU'RE GONNA PAY YOU FUCKING BITCH"
VIta fires a laser at marine hitting him and sending him crashing into the car. Yamcha Tien and Smoke would try to fight Her in a 1v3 scenario but she knew what she could do Vita would kick yamcha in the balls and roundhouse kicking him in the jaw. Tien put up a better fight before she poked him in all 3 of his eyes and then shooting him with a laser and smoke would try to use his spear but then vita grabbed it and pulled him to her instead and then proceeded to karate chop his respirator breaking it smoke came out of his head and he started to suffocate but he was fast and repaired it. Vita would then mock them on how three failures couldn't even beat a little girl 
Vita: "despite being built by Gero he couldn't make you more weaker than you already are"
Smoke: "Cough. You are a worthless slave to your master"
VIta: "Navy is not no master SHE CREATED ME"
Smoke: "All she did was bring you back after you died you aren't a robot you're just a fucking worthless soldier who should've never been revived"
Vita: "She gave me a second chance BUT YOU WONT GET ANOTHER ONE"
Vita would then take her eyepatch off and prepared to fire a strong laser to kill smoke before she got hit with a big boot by the big boss man and then he left as he is dead irl and he wanted to help them from the spirit realm vita would then take a shot through the chest with an armor piercing round it would then cut to jesus with a sniper rifle it would cut back to the crew where vita would start to malfunction
Vita: "n-n-n-n-n-n-n-NO T-t-this cant be ERROR ERROR"
Vita would then see a spear with three blades piercing her chest and seeing her blood leak out of her chest then she saw smoke
Smoke: "GET OVER HERE"
Smoke would then pull vita to him where he would then follow up with a teleport uppercut 
Smoke: "NOW DIE!"
Yamcha: "WOLF FANG FIST!"
Tien: "SHIN KIKOHO!"
Marine: "EAT ROCKET LAUNCHER YOU BITCH!"
WIth the ultimate powers of tiens tri beam Yamchas wolfang fist Marines rpg and smokes uppercut Vita was destroyed leading to everything but her head destroyed vita would mock them one last time before saying navy and shutting off Smoke would then call Jesus with his arm 
Smoke: "Jesus shes dead we need you to get here now as we need to stick together if we want to survive this"
Jesus didn't respond 
Smoke: "JESUS DO YOU COPY!"
Jesus: "my children.. look at the sky now"
Smoke would look at the sky and saw it a giant airship and saw planes and helicopters and cool lands sky have become red from the war
Smoke: "holy shit... JESUS WHOS WITH YOU"
Jesus: "just me uzbek and that other assasin "
Padwah: "ITS PADWAH!"
Smoke: "WARN THE CITIZENS AND SET UP DEFENSES ACROSS THE CITY NOW!"
the call would cut off and so did the screen as jesus along with Padwah and uzbek would start setting up defenses and uzbek would open the police armory to the civilians and officers arming them for what was going to happen and thus the Siege of cool land began the rebels were dropped in airborne and over 7 thousand soldiers would charge into the city this would begin a giant gunfight between civilians and rebels fighting to the last men as most civilians were killed and they pushed through the city and the last remaining place was the police station where a last stand would begin with the cops uzbek and padwah trying to hold off the rebels jesus would charge into the waves of rebels with his binary sword in hand he would cut slash and behead rebels one by one Padwah is shot in the shoulder and collapses to avoid getting killed uzbek watched as this chaos was going on and accepted his fate and he aims his pistol at his temple ready to take his own life. but then multiple republic gunships with clone troopers with red paint on them and a jedi from a lego set on one of them landed in the city taking on the rebels killing most of them as they found out about this international incident 
???: C'MON GUYS GET ON NOW!
Jesus: "Ok OK OK!"
Uzbek: "thank you"
Policeofficers: "QUICK GET ON THE SHIPS NOW!"
Padwah: Heh... fine 
the group would get on the ship where they would be evacuated from the city meanwhile back at the others Tien marine and Yamcha are killing the rebels and see the super plane ready to shoot a huge missile before the gunships shot it down leaving it to crash in the town hall and the gunship would land near them 
???: "greetings Heroes"
Yamcha: "Thanks for saving our asses" 
Smoke: "who the fuck are you!"
Keeli: "the name is Captain Keeli Captain of the Red company i'll explain why we're here later when we're out of this hellhole"
After He said that our heroes enter the gunship and it flies off to the Venator class star destroyer and the second act ends with the crew entering the war room where the clones are planning to try to find a way to take down the rebel army
== ACT 3 ==
The third and final act starts off where act 2 ended in the Venator class star destroyer where they meet the generals of the republic in the war room as they plan on this great attack against the rebel army.
Keeli: "Bob get over here now"
Bob: "greetings soldiers"
Yamcha: "wait so the people of star wars are fucking real why the hell did nobody tell me this"
Keeli: "Its because we only arrive when there is a large threat attacking the Unworld"
Yamcha: "alright then what the fuck do we do about it"
Bob: "Yamcha we Know about what happened to Hana and we also know about the location of Onagas tomb the rebel armies base where they are commanding this all is unknown but the base where They are holding Hana is located in rebel occupied Peru" 
Yamcha: "PERU SO YOU FUCKING EXPECT US TO GO ON A SUICIDE MISSION"
Bob: "no not really the 212th recon are already fighting a war in Egypt against one of the rebels allies being both Iran and East Brazil so we can make space for you because we were planning on the peru invasion You and your buddies except for that cop. besides you I will be apart of the invasion along with Keeli most of red company and over 10,000 infantry troops. Yamcha i promise you we will rescue hana from that hellhole"
Yamcha: "thank you general bob" 
General jedi master bob would then signal to all of his troops to get to their stations for the great invasion of peru the clones were getting on their gunships along with pilots getting ready to fly off and thus our heroes would enter hell on earth the aircrafts would all take flight back to earth to begin the most brutal military conflict in all of UnWorld history. we would cut to 1 hour later where our heros are now flying to peru where they saw that the rebels were already ready for it and they sent out their super weapons to shoot down the gunships one of those super weapons was a heavy artillery tank called the Tani oh 
Pilot1: "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING"
Pilot2: "Whatever it is its gonna destroy us we're gonna need all pilots to focus fire on that thing while we deploy the troops"
Pilot3: "WE NEED TO GET OFF THAT BASTARDS LINE OF VIEW BEFORE IT S-
before he could finish what he was saying the tani oh fired a shot that decimated the gunship killing over 500 soldiers and the pilot another 2 would be shot down and engulfed in flames this would cause the gunships remaining to land near the base and fight through the army. We would then cut to Yamcha and Keeli Rushing off the Gunships along with the clone army and red company they were prepared to charge into the battlefield. And so the charge began men were being gunned down blown up and wounded the rebels were using machine guns and mortars to gain ground in case but in the open battlefield the tanks and planes arrived to support the rebel army Keeli along with Red company and Yamcha would come up with a plan but then they just said fuck it and decided to let the thousands of troops charge yamcha along with his allies and friends led the charge to the base killing as many rebels as they could and a Close quarters combat fight began between the clones and rebels everything was continuing to go good until the tani oh fired another shot landing near Jesus and leading to 1000 deaths. more gunships arrived to support them but most were engulfed in the tani ohs explosive shells. Red company members along with keeli decided to find cover in order to contact jets to bomb the Tani oh
Keeli: "MATCHSTICK THIS IS KEELI DO YOU COPY"
Matchstick: "Read you loud and clear"
Keeli: "We NEED YOUR BOMBER TEAM TO TAKE DOWN THIS FUCKING SUPER WEAPON ITS KILLING OUR MEN"
Matchstick: "Roger that Bombing rush will be here soon find some cover"
few seconds later bombs were dropped on the tani oh destroying it completely but while that was happening Yamcha Jesus Padwah Keeli at the last moment and 5 unnamed Red company members sneak into the base while the combat continued. inside the base they faced off against the rebels guarding the base leading to a cool shoot out leading to 2 clones dying and many rebels being killed keeli tells Yamcha that they'll deal with the reinforcements with padwah and tells him to go find hana. so yamcha turns into yamstream sam and tells everyone what to do and says that Jesus and the other 3 unnamed clones search for hana with him and so they kept moving deeper into the rebel base killing many until they reached the lab location where Navy was waiting 
Navy: "ah so it appears that you've found me well it is too late"
Yamcha: "YOU BASTARD WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER"
Navy: "i simply fixed her and she will be released to cause havoc soon unfortunately i can let you stop this"
Yamcha: "what are you talking about!"
Navy: "this"
Navy pulls out a pistol and fire 3 shots at our heroes killing one of the clones before she was gunned down by the last 2 remaining she would fall to her knees holding some sort of device that she would click before flipping off yamcha. Yamcha would decapitate Navy killing her and tell jesus to get hana out while he deals with the bastards who caused this once and for all this would lead him into the reactor where he would find jedi bob dying slowly from what looked to be multiple gunshot wound. bob would die from his wounds before he could even tell him what happened that was before he heard a maniac laugh followed by a infamous line "BOY YOU"RE MINCEMEAT" Allen o'neil was standing next to him m60 in hand laughing at him 
Yamcha: "YOU!"
Allen: "Ah so this is the most wanted man i guess he was a looser after all"
Yamcha: "YOU DID THIS TO HANA!"
Allen: "BOY ENOUGH TALKING ITS TIME TO END THIS"
the battle between yamcha and o'neil began yamcha tried to use his wolffang fist but oneil dodges it and starts blind firing his m60 destroying stuff and makes the area catch fire yamcha disarms him and now a clash between his sword and allens ammo belt began the clanging of the metal continues as we cut back to marine and tien trying to command the frontline as the rebels slowly continued to win the battle they were continuing to charge forward and capture parts of peru while the battle in the base continued but tien was wounded and had to escape the warzone we cut back to the battle between allen and yamcha now they are fighting in hand to hand combat yamcha is getting really tired of this and tried to end things so he pulled his sword out again and tried to cut him down but allen grabbed the sword and threw it aside before slamming yamchas head into a wall yamcha was now bleeding from his head and felt weaker as allen grabbed the sword that he smacked out of yamchas hand to finish him but right as he tried to do that yamcha recovered and kicked allen in the nuts before grabbing his sword and stabbing him straight in the chest allen looked down and smirked
Allen: "hehheheheheh i guess this is the end for me now"
Yamcha: "ANY LAST WORDS"
Allen: "See you in hell"
allen would then fall off the railings and was engulfed in the flames of the reactor now the self destruction sequence was going off and would cause problems so Yamcha ran off and got the other out of there before the based blew up The rebels also retreated as not only did they loose mordens right hand man they also lost their main base and then the base blew up in a beautiful explosion there the clones celebrated their victory but it was a very short one as Purple Blue andRed came down to warn them
Purple: "I'm to sorry to intterupt this happy ending but it appears that it is too late for you to stop him"
Yamcha: "WHAT!"
Red: "YOU DUMBASSES ONAGA IS CURRENTLY BEING SUMMONED AT THIS POINT"
Yamcha: "no..."
Meanwhile at a random location cooler enters the dragon kings tomb 
Cooler: "ONAGA I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING YOU WANTED ME TO DO"
Cooler: "AWAKEN LORD ONAGA!"
cooler would then chant a secret language that would slowly revive onaga and his undead army 
Onaga: "finally... I live AGAIN"
The movie ends with yamcha and the others being awarded medals for their heroism while Onaga Plans on destruction with cooler.
=== Post credits scene ===
After all the boring credits we cut to dr geros lab where clownpiece is being revived unfortunately shit hits the fan and things fuck up as clownpiece breaks out of the lab revealing her new appearance
"finally Freedom its time to tell jevil that im back and ready for chaos"
== RECEPTION ==
It was given a 99/10 by reviewers and critics as it is a great movie thats up in the masterpieces category with Everything: The Movie 
the only people who dont like it are N00bs
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