Krump Till You're Dead

Second episode of The Sampsons.
== Transcript ==
Merge: ill krump with ya, sweety pie
Bert: but mom, moohouse wants me to whack with him and it’s gonna be frickin wet-
Merge: shut up or i’m giving you the axe
Bert: you can’t fire me i’m your son
Merge: I meant literally
Bert: fine then I guess i’m gonna have to send you to prison
Merge: wait wut
(Merge is sent to prison)
Mr. Barns: mmm another victim
Merge: what are you doing- STOP STOP
Mr. Barns: oh yeah that feels great
Censors: Hey I thought this wasn’t appropriate
Mr. Barns: this show is rated D, shut the hell up
Warden: ok you’ve been raped enough now go home before you give me diarrhea from looking at your ugly face
Merge: hey-!
(Merge is teleported back to her house)
Bert: welcome back madam
Merge: ugh why does this happen to me every other thursday. Anyway wanna krump with me before i touch myself again
Humer: KrUmP? DONALD KRUMP?
Merge: no honey, we’re krumping. it’s a dance you stupid dumbass
Humer: where’s bert
Merge: BERT
Bert: i’m not home
Merge: get out of the cupboards you bastard boi
Bert: but it’s nice and cozy and it has a FULL LIQUOR BAR
Humer: can i come in sonny
Bert: no
Humer: you’re a bigger disappointment than the election. (he explodes and turns into donald krump)
Donald krump: we need to build a bridge so we can get more alcohol for this FULL LIQUOR BAR
Red Flanders: (ascending from hell) i’ll drink to that you blech of a president
Merge: let’s together krump
(everyone krumps for an hour)
Bert: my legs are murdering me
Humer: lemme amputate those real quick boyo (he grabs a scalpel and cuts bert’s legs off)
Bert: intense pain intense pain intense pain intense horniness intense pain
Merge: NICE
Humer: wait what now
Merge: i cant stop krumping
Humer: well im gonna drink 20 gallons of booze while i watch donald krump on tv
Bert: im gonna descend into the overworld to find diamond
Merge: have fun kids
(3.1496829058382823759283739847904823 hours later)
Bert: i got high off of diamond and now i have become god
Merge: that’s great sweetie. still cant stop krumping because it turns my light switch on, it’s so nice, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-
Humer: it turns mine off you tramp
Merge: le gasp (she slaps Humer in the face and they both collapse suddenly and die the end)
Director: wow that was horrible
Writer: sorry i only get paid 1 buck a day for this crap
Director: you get a raise of -50 cents
Writer: eat my shorts you asshat
Bert: i’ll eat yo ass for stealin’ my line motherfucka
(end)
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