Musical Mishaps

Musical Mishaps is the 13th episode of The World of SBFW and the first episode of season two.
== Transcript ==
[The episode begins with Vanessa on a face call with SpongeBot.]
Vanessa: -yeah that sounds great. Sorry I gotta go now.
SpongeBot: Aw. You're no fun.
Vanessa: Yeah but it's Saturday morning and you know what that means.
SpongeBot: SpongeBob SquarePants and The Loud House on Channel 5?
Vanessa: Well yes, but it also means it's time to Review the Charts 📈!
SpongeBot: Alright have fun.
Vanessa: See ya.
SpongeBot: Aw, the announcer didn't say anything funny this morn-
[Vanessa hangs up. Zoltan appears next to Bot]
Zoltan: music is da enemy of the epeople more like YOURE THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPELE HAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHAA
SpongeBot: WHAT THE FU-
[Cut to Vanessa on her computer going over to the SBFW music charts page.]
Vanessa: Seeing a whole lotta nothing… Lil Nas X? Bieber? Ugh, not sure what I expected but this is as uninspired as ever. There's barely anything on here! Now how am I gonna Review the Charts 📈?
[Aaron suddenly face calls Vanessa. She answers.]
Vanessa: Yuh?
Aaron: Hey. You Reviewing the charts 📈?
Vanessa: Well I'm trying to anyway. It's just the same-old shit. There's a TikTok sea shanty in the top ten.
Aaron: Eh, not gonna lie it's kinda catchy.
Vanessa: Yeah, but why is it in the top ten?
[Vanessa scrolls down the page.]
Vanessa: Oh, British Fish Productions is around the number twenty mark, good to see them going strong.
Aaron: ONLY THE TWENTY MARK?! This is a disgrace.
Vanessa: To be completely honest it's better than half of what's above it.
Aaron: Better? Ms. Cactustan, British Fish Productions is the best!
Vanessa: Yeah, you're probably right. I just wish there was some good music to review nowadays.
[Pause.]
Vanessa: I said "I just wish there was some good music to review nowadays."
Aaron: I know, I heard you.
Vanessa: Yeah but this is the part where the main focus of the plot is supposed to kick in.
Aaron: Ah right. What's this episode supposed to be about again? A music contest?
Vanessa: That's it! We'll hold a music contest! Just think, people from all over The World of SBFW coming together to battle it out and perform some actually competent tunes!
Aaron: Look, I was joking about the British Fish Productions thing.
Vanessa: Eh it'll be a fine waste of a couple dozen pages of fanfiction though.
In a world where SpongeBob fanfiction is just grand,
And degeneracy runs rampant all throughout the land
Let me greet you a world full of splendor and misery
The World of the SpongeBob Fanon Wiki…
A world where the villain of the First World War is named Golf
Zoltan's got nothing under there 'cause Dan chopped 'em off
Biggest company, last name Productions, first name Box
I promise you that S-B-F-W will rock your socks
Jasbre, he's a crooked duck, and AceBlueWolfe's falling in love
Prim and Polar wrote this show, but writing a theme song was tough
Aaron, Travis, Kelpy, Purple, Liz, it's never enough
Viewer discretion advised - in this world, it can get real rough
But if you'd want to follow through and see what antics await you
Then keep on watching, I dare you
The Woooooorld of SBFW!
[Cut to Vanessa and Aaron walking around SBFW Street putting up fliers for the competition.]
Aaron: Now, are you sure you wanna go through with this?
Vanessa: Yeah, why not? It'll be funny to see what they come up with.
Aaron: Yeah you're right.
[They stick one flier on a tree and walk off. The wind blows the flier off the tree and towards a gym where Dan is leaving.]
Dan: Whew, what a sweat. Can't wait to get home and sweat even more when I see some sweet Lola Bun-
[The flier hits Dan in the face.]
Dan: Huh? (takes it off his face and reads it) A music competition?!
[Cut to SpongeBot walking Oscar in the park where she finds a flier on another tree.]
SpongeBot: A music competition?!
[Cut to Ally and Granite looking at another flier in the window of an old record shop.]
Ally and Granite: A music competition?!
[Cut to Mr. Renaud finding a flier outside the school playground.]
Mr. Renaud: A music competition?!
[Cut to Golfpecks finding a flier on the Banana Studios building.]
Golfpecks: A m-m-MUSIC COMPETITION?!
[Cut to a large line of SBFW users and degenerates alike queuing up outside a community centre to try out for the competition. Golfpecks bursts through the doors and storms towards Aaron, who is sitting at a table in the hallway. He holds up the flier to Aaron.]
Golfpecks: What is the meaning of this?
Aaron: Oh hi Golf, we were expecting you.
Golfpecks: You were?
Aaron: Yeah, it's a music competition, you hate music, you connect the dots.
Golfpecks: Surely this has to be some kind of a joke. A competition about music? This sounds like a scene from a horror movie! I can't believe what you communist war criminals come up with.
[Pause.]
Aaron: So… you here to try out?
Golfpecks: Absolutely not! Why would I try out for such a horrible, malevolent, and, dare I say, satanic competition?
LilGrizz69: Did someone say satan?
Golfpecks: Get out of here, Garfield.
LilGrizz69: It's Elmo, dumbass.
Aaron: Well, uh, I don't know how to say this but if you're not gonna enter then I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Golfpecks: Leave?! How could I possibly leave when you're all sitting in here violating the word of God!
Aaron: Well, you're more than welcome to sit and watch I guess.
Golfpecks: Preposterous! I wouldn't dream of it!
Aaron: (sigh) Sorry, but you're holding up the queue. Guards!
[Alpha and Jo, the guards from No Nut November and World Wars (oh and also those guys from that youtube channel), step into the hallway and carry Golfpecks out to the amusement of everyone in the queue.]
Alpha: Why are we still in this show?
Jo: Beats me, man.
Golfpecks: NO!!! MARK MY WORDS, I WILL BE BACK! I WILL BE-
[The three leave.]
Aaron: Poor guy.
[Cut to inside the room where the tryouts are being held. CrazySponge is singing his own rendition of Boney M.]
CrazySponge: 🎵cra- cra- crazysponge, lover of the roxanne queen, there was a hoop that really was la. cra- cra- crazysponge-🎵
Vanessa: Stop, stop, stop!
[The music suddenly stops.]
CrazySponge: did i win?
Vanessa: That was almost unbearable, sorry I just can't take anymore. You really don't know how to vocalise. The lyrics were alright I guess and you get bonus points for the song choice. Overall it's a 3.7 out of 10 I think.
CrazySponge: WHAT?! my mom says i have a voice like an angel! who gave you the right to judge over people's music anyway?
Vanessa: Not to toot my own horn or anything but I mean I did write the new theme song for the season.
CrazySponge: o
Vanessa: Next!
[CrazySponge walks out into the hallway.]
CrazySponge: (offscreen) oh hi lock.
Ally: (offscreen) Shut up.
[EB the Original Master enters the room.]
Vanessa: Oh, EB? I didn't know this was your kind of thing.
EB: Yeah, I play a pretty mean Casio actually. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Old McDonald, I know all the classics. But actually I was thinking of doing some freestyle spoken verse if that's alright.
Vanessa: Oh, uh, sure. I guess that's allowed.
EB: Thank you.
[EB stands up on the stage and clears his throat.]
EB: Hello everyone this is EB the Original Master here and welcome back to another rant-
[Cut to Zoltan on the stage singing about himself.]
Zoltan: 🎵oooooh zoltan is epic and he is like kool and all and nice he know s all about russian politics-🎵
[A tear falls from Vanessa's eye.]
Vanessa: He has such a way with words…
[Cut to Primitive rapping about Garfield.]
Primitive: 🎵He's fat and he's lazy, he sleeps and he's so crazy, he's funky, he's groovy, he's grumpy, he's moody, he's my main cat Garfield...🎵
[Cut to Dan on the stage rapping a song about a certain banana penguin.]
Dan: 🎵Mr. Pecks is a very interesting banana, he’s a refined man, he don’t wear bandanas🎵
[Cut to Cool Cat on the stage boogie woogie-ing.]
Cool Cat: 🎵My name is Cool Cat and I'm the coolest cat there is, I love to play and have fun and I'm always on the run, the sun is shining and I'm feeling fine so everyone listen to the words I'm saying🎵
[Cut to Ally on the stage DJ-ing a mashup of The Beatles and Soulja Boy.]
Soulja Boy: 🎵SOULJA BOY UP IN THIS HOOOO WATCH ME CRANK IT WATCH ME ROLLLLL🎵
Vanessa: Mmm, this is pretty fire actually.
[Cut to Familyguyfan (badly) singing a song about his idol.]
Familyguyfan: BRIAN GRIFFIN IS THE BEST HE MADE MY DICK INTO A WRECK LISTEN TO ME CUZ I GOT CLASS I WANNA CUM INSIDE HIS ASS
Aaron: Okay now I see where the penguin's coming from.
Vanessa: What do you mean? This is an awesome song.
[Cut Polar on the stage belting out Lady GaGa at the top of her lungs.]
Polar: 🎵CAN'T READ MEH- CAN'T READ MEH- NAH HE CAN'T READ MEH POLAR FACE-🎵
Vanessa: This, however, isn't an awesome song.
Polar: Ooh! I know the Bugsnax song if you'd rather me do that!
[Cut to CrazySponge reentering the room with a cheap dollar store moustache stuck above his mouth.]
CrazySponge: hello
Vanessa: Aidan you already auditioned.
CrazySponge: no, no i am not aidan, i am… aiden, with an e
Vanessa: ...right.
CrazySponge: oh and uh… im also italian. (in a crappy italian accent) MAMMA MIA I HOPE-A-SHE MADE-A-LOTSA SPAGHETTI
[CartoonGuy slides up from under the table next to Vanessa.]
CartoonGuy: That sounds like it should be offensive but honestly I love it.
Vanessa: Aidan, I already said you're not competent enough… yet.
CrazySponge: bu-bu-but im not aidan remember? im aiden and im italian.
[Pause]
CrazySponge: if that doesnt convince you, then uhhh, im also gay
Vanessa: Oh, uh, sorry for the confusion then. I thought you were someone else.
CrazySponge: it's fine, i get it all the time. now then…
[He clears his throat.]
CrazySponge: 🎵WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THATS AMOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE    EEEEEEEEEEE🎵
CartoonGuy: Good song- heeeeeeeeeeeeyy wait a minute
[He takes out a bottle of water and forces Aidan to drink it.]
CartoonGuy: Now that you're healthy and hydrated, can you tell us about your boyfriend?
CrazySponge: what are you talking about i dont have a boyfriend because I'M NOT GAY!!!
CartoonGuy: AHA! Caught you in the act, Aidan.
CrazySponge: uhhhhhhh i mean… cocks amirite? cant live without em
Liz: Actually I'd say you can.
Vanessa: That doesn't matter. SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!!
[Pause.]
Vanessa: SECURITY!!!!!!!!!
[Pause.]
Vanessa: Wh- Where are the guards?
[Aaron runs in.]
Aaron: They left.
Vanessa: What?
Aaron: They left. The show I mean. They just walked out and left this fanfic.
Vanessa: Huh, the Soulja Beatles were too much for them I guess… well good for them.
CartoonGuy: Yeah, it's about time they did. This show needs more original characters and stuff instead of taking people from already existing media. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, PRIM!
Primitive: (offscreen) I APOLOGIZE!
Vanessa: Just get out of here Aidan. And um, how'd you get past security, Ignacio?
CartoonGuy: A true criminal mastermind never reveals his secrets.
[Cut to most of the people who tried out standing around in the room waiting for Vanessa. She walks in with Aaron holding a clipboard.]
Vanessa: Right, I think I've made my decision.
CrazySponge: fuck yes im through to the next round!
Vanessa: I haven't said anything yet! ...also didn't I tell you to get lost literally a couple lines ago?
CrazySponge: yeah but-
Vanessa: Whatever. Anyway, it was a hard decision but I've decided who's moving up to the next round. You all… certainly attempted to make music, but not all of you can stay. I will now read out the names of the fine individuals who will move on to the contest.
[We see the crowd of users/buffoons, cretins, and doofuses sweating and nervously looking at Vanessa.]
Vanessa: My first pick going through is… Ally as Stimp Stimpson!
Ally: Aw hell yeah! Peace and love, people, peace and love.
Vanessa: And my second person going through is… Daniel Sullivan as YVNG Danny!
Dan: FUCK YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!
Vanessa: Which makes person number three… Zoltan!
Zoltan: OMGOMGOMG I GOT THREW! I GOT THREW!
Aaron: (smirks) Wait, are you serious Cactus?
Vanessa: Yeah, he has potential. Anyway, on to the fourth person, who is… Bot as Pope White Duck!
SpongeBot: Nice.
Polar: Pope White Duck - I'm In.
Ally: Shut up.
Vanessa: And finally my fifth and final choice is, drumroll please… Cleveland Brown!
Cleveland Brown: Aw yeah! And the FOX executives said I wasn't good enough as a solo act! In your face Seth MacFarlane!
Ally: Well G-G I guess everybody.
CrazySponge: WHAT?! HOW IS THIS FAIR?! Cleveland isn't even a real user!
Lil Pampers: Yeah, tell me about it. Now my dreams of making it as a musician are crushed!
Huggies: Aw, you'll always be a musician to me, sweetie.
CrazySponge: this competition is bullshit!
IanRises: YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS BULLSHIT?!
[The doors burst open.]
???: HEY! How come I wasn't invited?
[The person steps out of the shadows to reveal Travis.]
Literally everyone: (gasp) TRAVIS?!
Travis: Yeah, that's right. I feel like I of all people rightfully deserve a spot in the contest.
Vanessa: Well, I'm not saying you don't…
CrazySponge: HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME?!
Travis: Quiet, imbecile.
Vanessa: Well, I mean, auditions and shit are over, you missed it.
Travis: WHAT?!
Vanessa: Sorry, I really don't know what else to say.
Travis: This is a national outcry! How could I, Travis Penniall, have missed it?!
Vanessa: I dunno… you just did mate.
Travis: Well seeing as how everyone else here got a chance I think it's only fair that we extend the auditions so I can have my chance as well and obviously go through to the next round!
Vanessa: Look, I'm sorry but you missed it.
Aaron: Yeah, we have to move forward so we don't miss any @everyone DEADLINES 🚨🚨🚨🚨.
Travis: Can't I just have a little audition now?
Vanessa: Sorry, rules are rules.
Travis: Please?
Vanessa: I-
Travis: Pretty please?
Vanessa: -just said-
Travis: Pretty please with a soviet flag on top? I promise that if you let me, I'll give you a good time later.
Primitive: I'm going to hell for writing that.
Vanessa: (sigh) Okay, fine. You can audition if you really must but just make it quick.
Travis: YES!
CrazySponge: wait, if he gets to audition late then so do i!
Vanessa: You already auditioned Aidan, twice.
CrazySponge: well three's the charm, right?
IanRises: Wait, are we all auditioning again? Then what about me? 
Lil Pampers: And me?
Cool Cat: And what about me? I'm Cool Cat and I love allll kids!
Mr. Renaud: You and I both, brother.
Vanessa: Uh, just Travis will be fine for now.
CrazySponge: WHAT?!
Travis: YOU HEARD HER! Now shut up and listen to my beautiful voice do its thing.
[Travis steps on the stage.]
CrazySponge: this better be worth it
Travis: 🎵TRIPLETS BORN, THE THRONE AWAITS, A SEER WARNS OF A DEADLY FATE! GIVE UP YOUR CHILDREN SEPARATE, BIDE YOUR TIME, LIE IN WAIT! SONIC UNDERGROUND-🎵
Vanessa: Stop.
[Everyone pauses.]
Travis: Well? Did I do good?
Vanessa: Travis Penniall, that was one of the greatest, most incredible performances I have ever heard in my shitty life. I'd say you most definitely deserve a spot in the contest.
Travis: Wait… really?!
Vanessa: Nope, but for the effort you can have Cleveland's spot.
Cleveland: WHAT?! (dies)
CrazySponge: EXCUSE ME! HOW COME TRAVIS GETS TO TAKE CLEVELAND'S SPOT AND NOT ME?!
Vanessa: Quiet, fish. Anyway, thank all of you for attending the rehearsals. Those of you who both unfortunately and fortunately didn't make the cut will get slightly discounted tickets to the final show.
SpongeBot's Dad: I expect you'll be seeing them on my eBay page soon then.
Vanessa: The contest will be held in two days.
CrazySponge: ugh, what's the point of coming to the stupid contest if im not even in it?!
Vanessa: You know what Aidan? You can be our sponsor.
CrazySponge: sponsor?
Vanessa: Yeah, sure why not, I don't care.
CrazySponge: what do i do as sponsor
Vanessa: You just put BP's name on our contest and then sit back in the corner and do nothing for the remainder of the show.
CrazySponge: AW YEAH, FREE ADVERTISEMENT!
Primitive: So, uh, what do we do until the contest arrives?
Vanessa: I don't fuckin' know. Do whatever you want for all I care.
Primitive: Sweet.
[12:00 AM, two days later.]
[Cut to SBFW Street at midnight. A giant stage is in the middle of the street and all the users are sitting down waiting for the show to begin.]
Primitive: I waited like two lines for this show. It better be good.
IanRises: You only waited two? Damn, I was sitting here for a whole thirty two lines. 
Friday: Heh. This is just like the 2016 Illumination Entertainment animated film Sing.
Liz: Did anyone bring some water buckets with them or a fire extinguisher or something?
Primitive: That's an oddly specific question.
Liz: Eh, just don't be surprised when the whole thing goes up in flames.
[Vanessa and Aaron come out on stage. I'm so proud of them.]
Vanessa: Welcome ladies and gentle-degenerates alike to the first (and probably only) SBFW Music Contest!
[The crowd stares in silence.]
Vanessa: Um… (holds out a piece of paper and reads) this music contest was brought to you by the lovely folks over at Box Productions, buying your souls and stimulating the economy since 2018.
Lil Pampers: WOO! YEAH, ECONOMY!
Polar: God I wanna fuck the economy.
[CrazySponge quickly runs on stage.]
CrazySponge: thank you, thank you! youre all too kind. anyway now that im here in front of every single one of you READ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS BYGONE!!
Aaron: Didn't we tell you to sit in the back and do nothing?!
CrazySponge: it's a very good show and you all must read it-
[Vanessa picks up CrazySponge and carries him off.]
CrazySponge: -now or else, new episode coming when im bothered!
[Vanessa throws CrazySponge into a trash can. PoopFan69 emerges from another can next to him. Pluto can be seen in the corner making out with a cardboard cut-out of Panini from Chowder.]
PoopFan69: Best seats in the house, amirite?
[Vanessa comes back.]
Vanessa: Now then, without further ado, let's begin the show.
[Silence.]
Aaron: This Is The Part Where You All Cheer.
[The crowd does so, albeit reluctantly.]
Vanessa: First up is… (she looks at a piece of paper) …Ally and Familyguyfan.
Aaron: Wait, I thought Familyguyfan didn't make the cut.
Vanessa: Eh, whatever.
[Ally and Familyguyfan come out on stage to a brief round of applause.]
Vanessa: Would you two like to make any statements before beginning?
Ally: Well, I-
Familyguyfan: BRIAN GRIFFIN IS HOT AND SO IS OSAMA BIN LADEN AND I WANNA FUCK BOTH AND BE IN A THREESOME WITH BOTH AND HAVE BABIES WITH ALL OF THEM AND-
Vanessa: Forget I said anything. Just begin.
[Vanessa and Aaron walk off the stage as Ally and Familyguyfan start playing the Family Guy theme song mashed up with Yellow Submarine with vocals by Shnitchzel from Chowder or however you spell it I don't fucking know how this stuff works. Cut to Golfpecks approaching the makeshift entrance to the competition arena with the beautiful music blasting in the background.]
Golfpecks: These ignorant, simple-minded fools are letting themselves get brainwashed by all this satanist noise! I must save them!
[Elli is standing by the gate with a clipboard. She lets Forest and Einstein in.]
Elli: Enjoy the show people. Oh, um, hi Golf.
Golfpecks: Evening, madam.
Elli: Wh- what are you doing here?
Golfpecks: Oh, if you'll excuse me I'm on my way to cease this blasphemy before it begins.
Elli: Right.
[Pause.]
Golfpecks: So… are you going to let me in or are you just going to stand there?
Elli: Well if you don't have tickets and you're not in the list you're just gonna have to watch from out here.
Golfpecks: WHAT?! 
Elli: Yeah, sorry bud.
Golfpecks: Well, if you're not gonna let me in, I'll do it myself.
[Golfpecks tries to climb over the gate.]
Elli: SECURIT- oh wait they left the show.
[Golfpecks successfully scaled it and lands on the other side.]
Golfpecks: (laughs) NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO-
[Elli grabs Golfpecks by his little penguin flippers and lifts him back outside the arena.]
Golfpecks: Aw.
Elli: Nice try though, now scram!
[Golfpecks walks off sulking.]
Golfpecks: (sigh) Looks like the only way I'll be able to get in there and save The World of SBFW from getting tinnitus is if I acquired some of these elusive "tickets" the girl speaks of. But where am I supposed to get them at this hour?
[Pan over to SpongeBot's Dad scalping tickets by the roadside.]
SpongeBot's Dad: Tickets! Come get your very cheap tickets to the music competition or whatever it is!
Ace: Hasn't the competition already started?
SpongeBot's Dad: Y- You know- One thing- (sigh) I'm not gonna make a profit on these, am I?
Golfpecks: Ugh, this is stupid. Looks like I'm just gonna have to plan an airstrike.
[Cut back to the stage where Familyguyfan is finishing a rap.]
Familyguyfan: -WHICH IS WHY I LOVE BRIAN AND OSAMA SO MUCH
[The crowd stares in complete silence. After a few seconds CrazySponge and PoopFan69 start cheering and applauding.]
PoopFan69: Yeah! Alright!
[Vanessa and Aaron return to the stage.]
Aaron: Well, um, thanks for that performance. It… certainly was the best one of the night so far.
Vanessa: Give it up for Stimp Stimpson and Stanley Thompson!
[The two leave the stage to more reluctant applause.]
Vanessa: Anyway, our next act of the night is Daniel Sullivan.
[The crowd stares in silence again.]
Vanessa: The, uh, creator of the LIBB dildo.
[Dan enters the stage to mass applause and cheers.]
Dan: Thank you, thank you! I'd like to dedicate this song to the one and only Mr. Sponge, ayo fuck that mofo.
CrazySponge: sweet! a song for me
[Vanessa and Aaron leave the stage again as Dan starts rapping.]
Dan: 🎵Fuck CrazySponge, CrazySponge a hoe🎵
🎵Wears the same striped socks, every single day🎵
🎵Wears the same striped socks, bitch you know which ones I mean🎵
🎵He fucked it up real good, and he stealing for BP🎵
CrazySponge: ooh i like this song
PoopFan69: you make no sense
CrazySponge: your name is literally poopfan and you hate poop
PoopFan69: IT WAS A PHASE, OKAY?!!!!
[Cut to Golfpecks walking into the Banana Studios building. He walks past reception.]
Nat: Oh, Golf! You're back! Given up on destroying the competition have y-
Golfpecks: Please stop asking questions.
[Golfpecks enters an elevator.]
Golfpecks: It's unproductive.
[Pan over to the elevator buttons leading to various different floors. Golfpecks presses a button labelled "secret base". The doors close and Golfpecks goes down several floors until the elevator stops and he goes out into a room filled with various military equipment including tanks, helicopters and firearms. Garfield in military equipment is present in the room doing some technological bullshit.]
Golfpecks: Greetings, Sergeant Elmo.
Garfield: (chhk) It's Garfield, boss. Also, call me Lasagna Ocelot. It makes me sound cooler.
Golfpecks: I don't care about pet names, they're not professional or efficient.
Garfield: Ugh, I hate Mondays.
[He said it! He said the line!]
Golfpecks: Sergeant Elmo?
Garfield: Yes boss?
Golfpecks: It's time.
Garfield: Time for wh- oh you don't mean-
Golfpecks: Oh yes. It's time to commence Operation Big Banana!
Garfield: Boss we can't-
Golfpecks: Yes we can!
Garfield: But it's too dangerous to launch an airstrike! We could start something bigger than the Fox Kids vs Temmie Central War of 2018!
Golfpecks: Maybe, but we have no choice. Some of us may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make. We've reached code red, the biggest threat we've ever seen… a music competition.
Garfield: I think you're overreacting, boss.
Golfpecks: NONSENSE! Anyway, get the missile ready, Elmo.
Garfield: But… (sigh), okay boss.
[Garfield goes over to a missile launcher. He inserts a yellow missile into it.]
Garfield: (chhk) Operation Big Banana is go.
[He launches the missile. Cut to an overhead view of the concert. The missile misses it and hits Jasbre Corp.'s building instead.]
Garfield: It just had to be a Monday, huh?
[Cut to Jasbre carrying groceries to his now destroyed building.]
Jasbre: Scoop-a-da-pa-pooo-da-pa-da-pa- (he gasps and drops his groceries) MY PRECIOUS BUILDING!!
[Cut back to the competition, where the crowd is cheering as Dan leaves the stage.]
Aaron: I think it's clear we have a favorite so far! Not that there's much competition anyway.
Vanessa: Now I don't think our next performer needs any introduction so let's just get this over with. Give it up for Zoltan!
[The crowd cheers as Zoltan walks onto the stage and Vanessa and Aaron leave.]
Zoltan: helo i am going to sing a song for u here i go (clears throat) FREINDS IS A SHOE THAT HAS FREINDS IN IT AND ALOS ALOT OF SEX WORDS AN I DON LIKE SEX WORDS BUT CHANGLIER IS IN IT BUT THERES STILL LOTS OF REPRODUCTION WHIC IS VERY BAD AND SHOULD BE ILLEGQL
[Cut to Golfpecks and Garfield in the Banana Studios underground base.]
Golfpecks: We missed once but that just means we're gonna have to try again!
Garfield: Ugh, do we have to? I've been working all day and all I wanna do is keel over in a cardboard box somewhere.
Golfpecks: I thought you ate lasagna all day, which mind you is not very productive.
Garfield: It's hard work, alright?!
[Garfield loads up the missile launcher again. That is not a sentence I thought I would be typing today.]
Garfield: (chhk) Operation Big Banana is go, again.
[He launches the missile. Cut to Jasbre Corp.'s building, which has been fully repaired.]
Jasbre: Well, it took me 13 lines, but my precious building has finally been fixed. I just can't wait to get back inside and-
[The missile starts heading towards the building.]
Jasbre: Pfff… welp.
[Jasbre screams and runs off. The missile narrowly misses and instead goes through a billboard advertising "Musical Chairs", a new horror movie from Banana Studios.]
Jasbre: Huh. For a second there I thought that weird missile was gonna destroy my building AGA-
[Another missiles comes and destroys the Jasbre Corp. building. Cut back to Golfpecks and Garfield in the base.]
Golfpecks: YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT AGAIN!
Garfield: Honestly with all your quotes this show writes itself.
Golfpecks: How can you have the incompetence to miss the giant stage with the obnoxious racket and lights and stuff not once, not twice, but three times! And I thought three was supposed to be the magic number! That's the last time I trust Harry Potter.
Garfield: Look I told you, it's been a long day and I'm tired, I'm sorry. Why don't you fire the next one and I go lie in the corner?
Golfpecks: Lie in the corner?! That's not productive, Heathcliff. Why don't you do something more productive, like… support Joe Biden?
Garfield: I don't know why I work for you.
[Pause.]
Golfpecks: You know honestly I don't know either. A talking orange cat as a sergeant? That's almost as ridiculous as going all the way to the Middle East for a Krabby Patty. Simply ridiculous.
[Cut to Zoltan walking off the stage to mass applause.]
Polar: (a tear falls from her eye) What a cultural reset...
Zoltan: why do u all love me so much wy dont u love someone better than me like prim or dan
Dan: (offscreen) YES! VOTE ME!
Zoltan: dan is the best admin
Dan: (offscreen) SEE? ZOLTAN KNOWS WHAT'S UP!
[Vanessa and Aaron walk back onto the stage. Again.]
Aaron: Zoltan is a national treasure.
Vanessa: Indeed, just like the penultimate act actually. But be warned though, the following performance contains adult humour and tempers fraying from the start. It's Pope White Duck!
[The two leave and the crowd cheers as SpongeBot enters the stage.]
SpongeBot: Hi how are ya
SpongeBot's Dad: YEAH! THAT'S MY GIRL!
SpongeBot: Dad!
SpongeBot's Dad: Oops, sorry. Just pretend I'm not here sweetie.
[SpongeBot's Dad takes his phone out and starts recording.]
Primitive: Families. I'll never understand them.
SpongeBot: Anyway… today I'll be performing my number one hit single "I'm Back"... which is something I barfed up in Audacity while I was bored. 
[The crowd cheers.]
SpongeBot: So, uh… here goes nothing.
[The instrumental to I'm Back by Pope White Duck begins playing in the background. SpongeBot clears her throat.]
SpongeBot: 🎵Daydream-
[The music suddenly stops. The crowd murmurs amongst themselves and the camera pans over to Travis standing at the edge of the stage having pulled the plug connected to one of the speakers. He approaches SpongeBot and grabs the microphone from her.]
Travis: Right, that's it! Your time is up! Time for a real musical genius to show you how it's really done!
SpongeBot: But I didn't even-
Travis: You did just fine, now it's my turn. My pipes are all warmed up and ready to go. Music please!
[Cut to Vanessa and Aaron standing by the stage.]
Aaron: Is- Is this allowed?
Vanessa: I mean there's nothing saying it isn't.
SpongeBot's Dad: Hey! Let my daughter play!
Travis: You damn fools don't know anything about good taste. Come on, it's my turn! Travis! Travis! Travis!
[The crowd starts chanting Travis' name with him as SpongeBot reluctantly walks off the stage. Cut back to Golfpecks and Garfield underneath Banana Studios.]
Garfield: Are we still trying to crash the concert? We're gonna run out of missiles soon.
Golfpecks: Who cares if we run out of missiles? That's what taxes are for! We have a war to win here, are you going to sit there and let them win or fight with me for what's right?!!
[Pause]
Garfield: Um… you know this is a music competition, right Golf?
Golfpecks: Exactly! I knew you'd understand. Now, fire!
Garfield: But boss-
Golfpecks: FIRE, ELMO! FIRE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER FIRED BEFORE! FIRE EVERY SINGLE MISSILE WE HAVE! GO GO GO!
Garfield: (sigh) Goodbye, SBFW.
[Garfield loads up the missile launcher with every missile Banana Studios has.]
Garfield: Now, for the last time, are you sure you wanna-
[Golfpecks sets all the missiles off.]
Garfield: Welp, we're dead.
Golfpecks: We did a good thing today, Sergeant Elmo. We did a good thing.
[Cut to Travis standing on the stage. Barbie Girl starts playing in the background.]
Travis: 🎵Hiya, Barbie🎵
🎵Hi, Ken🎵
🎵You want to go for a ride?🎵
🎵Sure, Ken🎵
🎵Jump in🎵
🎵I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world🎵
[CrazySponge looks above the arena to see a whole wave of yellow missiles heading towards the stage.]
CrazySponge: a meteor shower! everyone make a wish!
Vanessa: Wait a minute, those aren't meteors…
SpongeBot: THEY'RE MISSILES! I TOLD YOU THE WORLD WAS GONNA END!
Travis: Huh? What? 
[Travis looks up to the sky.]
Travis: Oh no, not on my parade. Come on, Barbie, let's go party.
[The missiles slowly start hitting the arena and exploding on impact, somehow completely in rhythm to Travis singing Barbie Girl. The crowd starts screaming and everyone darts towards the exit for safety. Travis, still keeping hold of the microphone, attempts to dodge the missiles heading towards while still trying to sing the song.]
Travis: 🎵I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world🎵
Vanessa: Everyone to the exit!
🎵Life in plastic, it's fantastic🎵
🎵You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere🎵
🎵Imagination, life is your creation🎵
[Travis jumps onto one of the speakers and slides off stage as the whole stage literally blows up, still trying to continue the song and the music can still be faintly heard in the background.]
CrazySponge: box productions would like to state that we are not responsible for any lives lost during this event, and speaking of lives lost… SOMEONE CARRY ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE I LOSE MINE! MATCHY!!!!
Liz: Aidan, I'm not your personal slave anymore!
CrazySponge: SAVE ME, MATCHY! SAVE MEEEE!
Liz: (sigh) I'm gonna regret this…
[Liz runs back for CrazySponge, lifts him up on her shoulders, and runs out. More missiles continue to hit the arena, still somehow completely synchronised with the song.]
Travis: 🎵Come on Barbie, let's go party, AAHAAHAAHYEAH🎵
🎵Come on Barbie, let's go party, OOH OOH OOH, OOH OOH OOH🎵
Vanessa: This was a mistake.
Travis: 🎵Come on Barbie, let's go party, AAHAAHAAHYEAH🎵
🎵Come on Barbie, let's go party, OOH OOH OOH, OOH OOH OOH🎵
[By this point, everyone except Travis has safely made it a safe distance outside the arena.]
Aaron: At least everyone's safe.
Primitive: Yeah, it's a miracle that no one was hurt.
Mr. Renaud: Wait, where's Travis?!
[Cut to Travis running out of the arena as he still tries to finish the song, with missiles landing behind him.]
Travis: 🎵Oh, I'm having so much fun! Well Barbie, the party's only just getting started. Oh, I love you Ken!🎵
[One last missile hits the arena, and it sends Travis flying out of it and he lands unconscious on the floor. The music stops and the crowd looks onto the destroyed arena (and part of the city) in silence. After a few seconds they burst into spontaneous applause and cheering.]
Vanessa: Wow! Bravo, what a performance!
[Travis wakes up and picks himself up off the floor.]
Travis: Wh- Wha- What happened? Someone hold a gender reveal party?
[Golfpecks approaches the ruins with a smug grin on his face.]
Golfpecks: I did it! For once I actually did it! I saved The World of SBFW from the enemy of the people!
[The crowd suddenly turns silent again. Vanessa slowly approaches Golfpecks.]
Vanessa: You? (pause) You did this?
Golfpecks: I know! Isn't it great?!
[Pause.]
Vanessa: You sent an airstrike towards the entire city, tearing half of it to pieces, without a care of anyone's safety… just because there was a music festival?!
Golfpecks: Well yes.
[Pause.]
Vanessa: Golf, that was… amazing!
Golfpecks: wait wut
[Vanessa picks up Golfpecks and tightly hugs him for a few seconds before putting him back down.]
Vanessa: I'm sorry, it's just, wow. You had us all worried! Music that tries to kill you, what a thought! Honestly that was the best listening experience I've had all year so far, you have talent, Mr. Pecks.
Golfpecks: I'm glad you finally see me that way, I didn't study at Harvard for nothing.
Vanessa: People, I think we have a clear winner of the competition! The winner of the first, and probably last, SBFW music contest is… Travis and Golfpecks!
Golfpecks: WHAT?!!
[Travis suddenly perks up.]
Travis: FUCK YES! I JUST KNEW I WOULD WIN!
[He walks over to Vanessa and grabs the trophy from her.]
Travis: Thank you very much.
Golfpecks: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! HOW COULD I WIN A MUSIC CONTEST?!!!!! THAT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID AND DONE! I DIDN'T EVEN ENTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Aaron: But you still made music, and good music too!
Ally: Well, I won't say I'm not disappointed that I lost to… (smirk) Golfpecks, but G-G.
Familyguyfan: I SAY WE ALL GO HOME AND GET WET TO BRAIN GRIFFIN!
[Mr. Renaud approaches Travis and Golfpecks with a camera.]
Mr. Renaud: Smile for the camera!
Golfpecks: WHAT?! NO-
[Travis grabs hold of Golfpecks and Renaud takes the photo. Golfpecks looks visibly distressed in it.]
Mr. Renaud: This'll look nice on the cover of CPTV News tomorrow morning!
[Golfpecks pushes Travis off of him.]
Travis: What? Nothing wrong with a friendly man-to-man hug.
Golfpecks: You are not my friend and I did not win this competition!
Travis: Well, apparently you did. I'm keeping the trophy though.
Golfpecks: Good. (sigh) I need to enter a state of self reflection. I think I've gone insane.
Aaron: Three cheers for Golfpecks! Hip-hip!
[The crowd lifts up Golfpecks and throws him in the air.]
All: Hooray!
Aaron: Hip-hip!
All: Hooray!
Aaron: Hip-hip!
All: Hooray!
Golfpecks: Ugh, I hate this place.
Polar: Wait a minute, didn't we all exile Golfpecks off this planet in a rocket ship or something at the end of the season one finale?
Primitive: Eh, I wouldn't put much thought into it. Golfpecks is funny anyway.
Cleveland: Hey, so uh… since I was kicked off the competition last minute, could I at least sing my song now?
Vanessa: Uh, sure, go ahead.
Cleveland: Aw yeah! 🎵My name is-
[Cleveland sings The Cleveland Show theme song as the credits roll.]
🎵-Cleveland Brown and I am proud to be🎵
🎵right back in my hometown with my new family🎵
🎵There's old friends and new friends and even a bear🎵
🎵Through good times and bad times it's true love we share🎵
🎵And so I found a place🎵
🎵Where everyone will know🎵
🎵My happy mustache face🎵
🎵This is The Cleveland Show!🎵
Polar: The end. You can get back to your lives now. Or watch The Mitchells vs. the Machines on Netflix. Good film, I don't regret shoehorning this advert in at the end of the episode at all.
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