Margog the Hammer

Margog the Hammer is an Orsimer "entrepreneur" with illicit businesses and a love of woodworking. He may become the personal woodworker hireling for the Vestige should they choose to allocate points into the Lumberjack Hireling skill for woodworking, once they reach the appropriate level. He will send a letter with select materials to the Vestige on a daily basis, although the items he sends may be improved with additional points into the Lumberjack Hireling skill.
==Hireling Letters==
Margog may send the Vestige multiple letters to their inbox, detailing his adventures as he gathers resources for the Vestige. The following are a collection of the letters that he will send:
#I understand you're in the market for a hireling. Someone to acquire components for you. Materials. Of the woodworking variety. Then look no further! I'm Margog the Hammer, and I'm just the Orc for the job. My rates are cheap, my deliveries are on time, and I know Orcs who know Orcs, if you understand my intention.
#Margog the Hammer here, sending greetings and salutations. I'm proud to say that my business has really taken off. As you can plainly see, the quality of my merchandise is of the highest caliber. It all has to do with my suppliers. I've made arrangements to provide the best materials to you on a regular basis. Arrangements that can't be refused.
#This latest shipment didn't fall off the back of a merchant wagon--at least not all of it! But I jest. You'll discover as we get to know each other that Margog the Hammer has a wonderful sense of humor. I'm even funnier than most Orcs, or so I've been led to believe. All of my henchmen say so. Of course, that's what I pay them for! Ha!
#I have a confession to make. I'm not supplying you with crafting components out of any sense of duty or obligation. I have an ulterior motive. I'm using the profits to finance my grander ambitions. You see, I plan to build an organization that has its fingers in all kinds of related businesses. I guess you could call me an entrepreneur.
#Some of my business ventures might be considered criminal. I'm all right with that. I supply the necessary services to meet the ever-growing demands, and if that's a crime then I'm a skinny Wood Elf! But never, fear, boss. For you everything will always be above board and totally honest. For the most part. And you have my word on that!
#Greetings, boss. It's me, Margog the Hammer. Since you seem interested in my various enterprises, I thought I'd tell you about my latest venture. I'm in the middle of establishing a method for redistributing appropriated goods in the town I call home. Turns out, someone already thinks they have that business locked up--and they're angry with me.
#Do I care about a filthy Khajiit? Do I care about his claim to have cornered the market on the redistribution of goods acquired by questionable means in my town? Of course not! Who does Splendid-Paws think he is? He's not my boss! He's not even an Orc! If he sends his thugs around here again, I can't be held responsible for what happens.
#An unfortunate accident befell Splendid-Paws' associates today. They demanded their share of gold from my business. A business they had nothing to do with. That's when the hammer hanging over my work table slipped from its hook and bashed both of the poor fellows in the head. Repeatedly. I hope the Khajiit has a good healer on his payroll.
#Hello, boss. I hope this shipment of woodcrafting components finds you well. At least, I hope you're feeling better than those thugs the so-called Khajiit crime lord sent to talk to me. I understand one of them may not make it. I imagine this could lead to further trouble between the cat and I, but such is the cost of doing business. Am I right?
#With all of my other business ventures going so well, you're probably wondering why I continue to serve as a hireling for crafting components. That's a fair question. Woodworking calms me. It lets me clear my head and relax. Call it a hobby. I figure I might as well make some gold in the process, so here we are. Your materials are enclosed.
#Well, boss, as I was telling you last time, woodworking calms me. As you know, I'm an Orc, and I have an Orc's temper. Maybe even two Orcs' worth! My other businesses often require me to give my temper free rein. So at the end of the day I need to do something that relaxes me and lets the tension slide away. Sawing and hammering works wonders!
#I just had a visit from thugs working for the Khajiit known as Splendid-Paws. I decided to open a tavern across from his inn, and that has his fur standing on end. Doesn't he know that competition is good for the digestion? And I'm building the place with my own two hands. Consider it a massive woodworking project to help me deal with my anger issues!
#Greetings, boss. Margog here. Another unfortunate accident sent Splendid-Paw's employees to the healer again. That's what happens when you wander into a construction site without paying attention to where you're walking. You fall into a pile of wooden beams and iron nails. Over and over again. Maybe now the Khajiit will mind his own business.
#My tavern should be ready for its grand opening very soon. I'm going to call the place "Hammer and Saw" because woodworking means so much to me. I'm one busy Orc! Crafting supplier, tavern owner, dealer in dubiously acquired goods, conveyer of illicit materials—like I said, an entrepreneur! Speaking of which, your materials are enclosed.
#While we'd never have cause to be disagreeable to one another, my other business ventures often require me to let my inner Orc out to play. I'm not proud of my violent tendencies, but they do help me keep the gold flowing. Sometimes you have to break a few legs to make a kwama egg omelet, am I right? At least, that's how my uncle explained it.
#Hello, boss. If I don't sound like my usually cheerful self, that's because I'm upset. I've always felt a little bad after a client or rival requires me to accidentally injure them repeatedly in the course of a transaction. It's the cost of doing business. But today's transaction has left me feeling out of sorts. Regretful, even.
#You're probably wondering what could have happened to make old Margog the Hammer into a melancholy horker. Where's the happy-go-lucky Orc with a million ideas that I hired, you're probably asking yourself. Well, he feels bad about something that happened the other day. And instead of evaporating like so much dew, that feeling remains. Guilt.
#So what did Margog do to feel guilty about? I injured one of my rival's associates! That's right. Splendid-Paws got his fur in a bunch over something or another I did and sent a couple of thugs to teach me a lesson. That never works out well for either Splendid-Paws or his thugs, as you well know. But one of these thugs was Fahdah the Eyeful.
#Fadah the Eyeful. She's a Redguard brawler whose brawn is matched by her stunning beauty. I've had the opportunity to watch her work as an interested bystander and her beatings are legendary. She accomplishes more with a look and a snarl, however, than most thugs can even get close to with a barrel full of weapons. I hope the healer can help her!
#I admit it. I, Margog the Hammer, busted up Fahdah the Eyeful. I think I broke her arm! And I feel terrible about it! Of course, she and her associate had come into my not-quite-ready-for-business tavern with the express purpose of delivering a message of pain and suffering to me from their boss, Splendid-Paws. But it was Fahdah! What should I do?
#Now, boss, in case you think I'm getting soft, let me educate you on the facts. I'm Margog the Hammer! I'm an entrepreneur who enjoys woodworking and sometimes has to put on a tough facade with my various business associates. But I never provide a beating to someone who doesn't deserve it. Fahdah certainly deserved it. So why am I so unhappy?
#After talking to the healer, I've determined that Fahdah the Eyeful is going to be all right. Turns out, her arm isn't broken. It's just a bad bruise. She'll be back on her feet and breaking skulls in no time. I'll probably have to watch my back for a while, but at least I'll get to see her around a little more often. Your materials are enclosed.
#The Hammer and Saw opened its doors today. What a grand turn out we had! The place was packed, the drinks were flowing, and the crowd was happy and excited. It was everything I hoped for. If you visit Forlorn, feel free to drop by. Your first ale is on the house!  And I'd love to get your opinion on the woodwork.
#What a strange turn of events. The Khajiit crime lord, Splendid-Paws, decided to pay a visit to my humble little tavern. He rarely leaves the comfort and safety of his inn, but he walked in like he owned the place, surrounded by an entourage of toughs--including Fahdah the Eyeful. He had a drink and toasted to my success. So why do I feel worried?
#Have I told you about the town of Forlorn? It's a small but growing community in the wilds of High Rock. We have inn, a tavern, a stable, and the usual mix of merchants and crafters. We even have a healer, but she mostly caters to Splendid-Paws and his thugs. We don't have a temple, but traveling priests pass through from time to time.
#A traveling priest of Mara wandered into town today. I'm not a religious Orc. I barely acknowledge Mauloch. But I'm still dealing with these conflicted emotions concerning my businesses and the necessities of violence when the priest entered my tavern. We got to talking and she actually has me contemplating a more peaceful approach to life.
#Can Margog the Hammer become Margog the Serene? That's what the priest of Mara says is my best hope for a happy existence.  She wants me to ignore my violent impulses. She says I should stop using rude and obscene language. That I should look for the beauty in all things and endeavor to be more friendly. This might just kill me, but I'll try.
#Greetings, boss. Here's another shipment of crafting materials. I'm trying real hard to maintain a calm, serene exterior, even though everyone around me is as annoying as a room full of skinny Wood Elves. It's taking all of my considerable willpower not to reach for one of my hammers every time someone opens their mouth. But you have a good day.
#That damn cat and rival crime lord Splendid-Paws! He decided to interfere with my business operations again. This time, he's hired brigands to intercept my shipments of illicit materials. You know, my smuggling endeavors? Oh, pardon my bluntness, but maintaining this serene exterior is starting to wear on my nerves! I really need to hit something!
#It's me, Margog the Hammer. I've lost two shipments of smuggled goods in as many days because of those brigands working for Splendid-Paws the Khajiit crime lord. Well, enough is enough! I'm taking a few of my employees and we're going to find these brigands. And when we do, I'm going to serenely and calmly beat them to bloody pulps!
#Excuse the terseness, but can't write much. We're on the trail of Splendid-Paws' brigands. Here are your crafting components. I'm feeling better than I have in days. More later. Margog the Hammer.
#Hello, boss. Margog the Hammer here. I thought you'd like to know that I recovered my stolen goods from the brigands that stole them from me. And I dealt with the brigands. Just like hammering a few nails. The roads around Forlorn should be safer. At least for a while. I guess that serenity, like all things, needs to be practiced in moderation.
#I returned to discover that we had a new arrival in town. Someone in their infinite wisdom decided we needed some sort of law in our burgeoning community. So now I have to figure out how to deal with Constable Chedric Celd and his pledge to bring order to the wilds of High Rock. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel now. Really. I can't.
#Splendid-Paws. Fahdah the Eyeful. Uncooperative merchants. I know how to deal with these things. Constable Chedric Celd? Not so much. He's so full of righteous indignation, stern honor, and unflappable honesty. In fact, he's so incorruptible it makes me want to gag! He refused my bribe and said he'd be watching me. How annoying!
#The brave and honorable Constable Chedric, how I detest the man! I should have let Splendid-Paws make the first move, but I had to try to buy his loyalty. I still have my gold, but now the good constable is aware of my possible affiliation with the less-than-honest aspects of society. It's enough to make me consider that crime really doesn't pay.
#Here you go, another shipment of crafting components. Pardon my tone, but the new constable has crawled up my business and put me in the foulest of moods. If I don't get him to turn his attention in another direction soon, I'm going to lose out on a lot of gold. I might have to arrange for an accident to happen, but you didn't hear that from me.
#Hello, boss. Margog the Hammer here. I'm in a better mood today. It appears that the good Constable Chedric finally noticed that Splendid-Paws refers to himself as "the crime lord of Forlorn!" While he was merely suspicious of me, he's now actively investigating the Khajiit's business dealings. Let's hope he finds something vile and incriminating.
#One of the suppliers I deal with, a Dark Elf named Beranzen, decided he wanted to expand his options by eliminating the middle man. Unfortunately, that would mean leaving me out of the business altogether. That, as I'm sure you can understand, isn't what I'd call an acceptable situation. I think we need to have a talk. I'll bring my hammer.
#The Dark Elf Beranzen, let's call him a collector of lost goods. He always came to me to turn his illicit items into gold. Gold for him. Gold for me. I heard that the thief wants to start shopping for the best deal. He wants to take advantage of the free market, I guess. We're going to have a discussion. After I ship your materials.
#Sad news, boss. Beranzen and I couldn't come to an equitable agreement. I'm truly sorry that we won't be doing business going forward. And that I had to drop him into the town's pig pen after he accidentally tripped and hit his head on my hammer. Twice. It's unfortunate, but things happen when people try to take advantage of my generous nature.
#Margog the Hammer, at your service! May these components find you happy and rolling in gold! You may be curious about my cheerful disposition. It's all because good Constable Chedric brought the sword of justice down on Splendid-Paws' illegal operation. That has me feeling ecstatic! Now if you'll excuse me, I have some celebrating to do.
#That happy moment was short lived. Talk about unfortunate circumstances! All of the witnesses that Constable Chedric had rounded up to speak against the Khajiit crime lord have mysteriously vanished. Oh, there were the usual notes about being called away unexpectedly, but if you ask me, they're swimming with the mudcrabs at the bottom of the lake.
#My nemesis (I have a nemesis!) Splendid-Paws is free and clear--at least for the moment. But Constable Chedric isn't happy about the turn of events any more than I am. He let us both know it in no uncertain terms. And he warned that he'd be watching us. Both of us. Oh joy! Maybe I have two nemeses. I'll need to think about that. Materials enclosed.
#Hello, boss. Let me tell you about a new project I've started to help calm my nerves and bring me to a state of serenity. I'm building an elaborate house for the bantam guar that congregate behind my tavern. Have you seen one of those creatures? They're kind of cute--in a lizardy, scaly sort of chicken way. I love the little guys!
#Woodworking is so relaxing, especially when I'm working on something that really matters. I was watching a few bantam guar frolicking outside my tavern the other day, pecking for food and doing their little dance, when the sky opened and a drenching rain fell. That's when I decided. Those guar need a place to live--and I'm going to build it!
#Margog the Hammer again. Along with this batch of material, here are more details on the bantam guar house I'm building behind my tavern. It's got four entrances, two exits, three levels, and an exterior deck so the guar can sun themselves. I'm also adding two feeding troughs and three fountains so there's plenty of food and water to go around.
#Calm. Serene. Woodworking does wonders for my aggressive tendencies. I haven't wanted to hit anyone in days! Must have something to do with banging nails into wood, I guess. Anyway, the bantam guar house is almost ready for the little guys to move into. I can't wait to see how they like it! In the meantime, this package is for you.
#It's done and it's a masterpiece. Maybe my finest work ever. A home worthy of the most noble of bantam guar, with plenty of room for lots of inhabitants. I can't wait to see how they like it. The water and food troughs are full, the doors are open, and it's all ready for the little guys to move in. I had some materials left over, so here you go.
#Oh no! My perfect bantam guar cottage has become a home for wayward scuttlers! Those pests moved right in and made themselves comfortable, eating all the food and drinking all the water. Now they won't move out and the poor bantam guar remain homeless. I guess I could construct a second house. But I need to hurry before the rainy season begins.
#Margog the Hammer again. Did you miss me? Here're your components. Have you ever heard the saying, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend?" Well, that's got me thinking. I have two enemies at the moment: Splendid-Paws and Constable Chedric. They are also opposed to each other. I wonder if I should ally myself with one of them. For convenience's sake.
#I extended the hand of friendship to Constable Chedric. That was a mistake! He looked like I tried to offer him a poisonous viper instead of a handshake. Then he went on a short tirade about how he would never allow himself to associate with scum like me. If I were a sensitive sort, his words would have cut me like a knife. Instead I just hit him.
#Hello again, boss. My recent efforts to befriend Constable Chedric have met with failure. The good and noble constable, it seems, is too pure to associate with a common woodworker, tavern owner, and somewhat shady entrepreneur such as me. Oh well. I don't really like the man much, anyway. I guess I should go talk to Splendid-Paws next.
#Now I'm nervous. That cagey Khajiit showed up at my tavern and offered to buy me a drink before I could do the same at his place. Splendid-Paws has been a thorn in my side almost from the day I met him, but it seems we'd rather team up than allow Constable Chedric to take us both out of the picture. And at least I know there's no poison in my ale.
#Splendid-Paws the Khajiit crime lord is a surprisingly pleasant fellow. He tells amusing stories, laughs at jokes, and knows how to hold his liquor. He does have an annoying habit of talking about himself in the third person, but I suppose nobody's perfect. He eventually got around to why he was here. "It's time to retire the constable," he said.
#Boss, this is by no means a confession. It's just talk between business associates, understand? And when Splendid-Paws used the word "retire," he just meant "put out to pasture," "take out the trash," "dispose of the problem," or "liquidate our stock." And by "stock," I mean the good Constable Chedric. Your components are enclosed.
#What an amazing world this is. Who would have ever thought that Splendid-Paws the crime lord and Margog the Hammer would ever work together on anything. But as my hunt-mother used to say, you can't take down a mastodon with a single arrow, no matter how steady your aim. In this case, Constable Chedric is our mastodon. And we need two arrows.
#We decided that we had to be discrete in our efforts to remove Constable Chedric. Make his disappearance too spectacular and we run the risk of bringing even more law-enforcers down upon our little hamlet. We also had to be precise. Missing a target such as the good constable is a sure way to turn the pointed side of the arrow in your direction.
#So discretion and precision were the keystones of our operation. And since neither of us trusted our own associates to excel at either of those approaches, we decided that a hired expert was in order. We agreed to split the cost, but somehow it fell to me to make contact with the expert. And by expert, I mean the Dark Brotherhood.
#Hello, boss. I don't know if you've ever tried to set up a meeting with the Dark Brotherhood, but what a pain in the arse! First, I need to perform some sort of ritual with the delightful-sounding name of "the Black Sacrament." Where in the world am I going to find a heart, a skull, bones, and flesh? If you have any suggestions, pass them along.
#What a gruesome ritual! I made an effigy of Constable Chedric, as instructed, but I'm still waiting for the Nightshade petals to arrive from the alchemist. Then I have to sit inside a circle of candles, stab the effigy, and whisper some inane words that don't make a lick of sense. If this is just an elaborate prank, someone's going to get hurt.
#I was beginning to think the whole ritual thing to summon a representative of the Dark Brotherhood was some kind of prank to make me look silly, but no sooner had I finished reciting the words than a figure in a black-hooded robe stepped out of the shadows. "Who do you need dealt with, petitioner?" the hooded figure asked.
#Those sermons I endured at the side of the priest of Mara must have rubbed off on me, after all. Staring into the depths of that shadowy hood, I suddenly didn't want to go through with this dark contract anymore. What was I thinking, trying to have an officer of the law assassinated by the Dark Brotherhood? I'm sure the figure will understand.
#"You made a mistake?" the dark figure said with more than a hint of incredulity. "That must be the first time such a thing has happened. You mistakenly built an effigy, set up candles, accidentally stabbed the effigy multiple times, and inadvertently spoke the prescribed words of power. Is that what you're telling me?" I nodded an affirmation.
#"Let me get this straight," the figure in the black-hooded robe said, asking me to clarify the situation for the third time. "You didn't really mean to contact the Dark Brotherhood? You don't want to have someone put to death? So, in essence, you've wasted my time? Is that what you'd have me believe?" I nodded earnestly and apologized profusely.
#Well, boss, deciding not to make a deal with the Dark Brotherhood was the most stressful moment of my life. I was certain that the black-hooded figure wanted to kill something, and if it wasn't going to be for a contract then my blood would have to do. I offered to compensate him for his trouble, hoping I'd live to send you more components.
#The hooded figure begrudgingly took the gold I offered, mumbling under her breath. "Stupid, Orc," and "waste of time," were the only words I heard clearly enough to understand. Then the figure turned back to me and pointed a wickedly curved dagger. "One mistake is all you get, Orc," the figure said. "Don't make me regret even that much leniency."
#Boss, it's Margog the Hammer here. I have a bit of a dilemma. Since I decided not to go through with the Dark Brotherhood contract, I need to figure out if I'm going to adhere to my deal with Splendid-Paws the crime lord or reach out to Constable Chedric. I'm in a quandry.  Neither option really appeals to me, but I can't see an alternative.
#Here you go. Another shipment of crafting materials. I couldn't sleep last night, anyway, so I figured I might as well do something useful. Now, as dawn breaks over our little town, I need to decide on the lesser of two evils. Should I come up with another way to fulfill my deal with Splendid-Paws, or should I ally myself with Constable Chedric?
#My life was much simpler and clear-cut when I was just a woodworker, before I became an entrepreneur. Now things have become exceedingly complex. I find I need to be much more subtle in my dealings. Not everything can be dealt with using a hammer and a nail. That was the thought going through my head as I went out to deal with Constable Chedric.
#The good constable was surprised to see me when I entered his tiny keep. It was basically a two-story, free-standing tower that served as his office, the town jail, and his living quarters. The life of a law officer certainly isn't glamorous, but I don't suppose glamour is what drives that sort of person. I closed the door behind me.
#The deed done, my next stop was a visit to my current partner-in-crime, the Khajiit named Splendid-Paws. Usually my rival, the crime lord and I had come to an arrangement of sorts because of the threat posed by Constable Chedric.  But now that I had made sure the law officer wouldn't be a problem any longer, I had to deal with Splendid-Paws.
#"This one would like to know, have you dealt with our problem?" Splendid-Paws asked. "Speak plainly," I retorted, "you know I can't understand when you speak cat." Anger flared across the crime lord's eyes, but he composed himself and said, "Constable Chedric. Did you do as this one asked and had the law-enforcer eliminated?"
#"I've taken care of the good constable," I said. "He won't be bothering me again." I caught the shift in Splendid-Paws' eyes as he came to the sudden realization that something was terribly wrong. That's when Chedric marched in, all full of law and self-righteousness. "I accept your confession, cat," he declared. "It's the dungeon for you."
#I thought that Splendid-Paws would have put up a fight. Maybe get himself killed trying to escape from Constable Chedric and the long arm of justice. But no. Instead, the crime lord held up his arms and stated simply, "Splendid-Paws yields, law-enforcer." He gave me a pointed look as the constable's deputies led him away.
#Hello, boss. Magog the Hammer, at your service. I hope these components find you well.  Things in Forlorn are better than ever, now that the Khajiit crime lord has been locked away. And the deal I made with Constable Chedric should hold for a while, provided I don't engage in anything too overt--at least when the good constable is around.
#I started another woodworking project. It feels good to have a saw and hammer in my hands again. Sometimes the life of an entrepreneur is too busy and there's no time for the things I love. But this project should keep me occupied. I'm going to build a keepsake chest, carved with scenes from popular legends and stories. It's a great idea!
#Hello, boss. The new project is going fine. The chest is beautiful, with a hinged lid and a hidden compartment. I'm trying to decide which story to carve on the lid. Should I go with "Netches All Around" or "The Brave Little Scrib?" What do you think? Both stories were favorites of mine when I was an Orc cub, so I can't make up my mind.
#After much deliberation and soul-searching, I decided to go with the story of "The Brave Little Scrib" as the carving on my keepsake chest. It's such a heart-warming and uplifting tale! I enlisted Kwela to help me. She's a remarkable artist. I'll use her illustration as the basis for the carving. If it turns out well, maybe I'll make another one.
#I finished the keepsake with its beautiful carving of a scene from the story of "The Brave Little Scrib." Almost as soon as I put the piece out to display in my tavern, a traveler offered two-hundred gold to take it off my hands. Two-hundred gold! I think I might have a lucrative side business in the construction of wooden keepsake chests.
#I was summoned to Chedric's keep for a private audience with the captive Khajiit, Splendid-Paws. For a prisoner, the crime lord sure seemed content and comfortable in his holding cell. "Before this one is shipped to the capital for judgment," Splendid-Paws said, "this one would repay you for the service you have provided." That didn't sound good.
#So Splendid-Paws wants to repay me for betraying him to Constable Chedric. I don't like the sound of that, but he's on the other side of a locked cage. "This one is not angry with you, Orc," he said calmly. "This one thanks you for uncomplicating matters for me. This one bequeaths his holdings to you. All of them." And that sounds worse.
#Splendid-Paws made me the executor of his criminal and legitimate holdings. Some might see that as a reward, but I was pretty sure the crime lord was setting me up for a fall. A really big fall. What could possibly go wrong, you ask? Well, so did I. "You also inherit all of this one's debts and obligations," Splendid-Paws said with a wicked smile.
#Well, boss, Splendid-Paws did it. He's effectively tied a Mundus Stone around my neck and tossed me into a deep, dark lake. His debts and obligations, of which I am now responsible, include three wives and thirty-seven children back in Elsweyr, a loan held by Captain Ka'din of the Renrijra pirates, and a blood feud with the Koskit crime syndicate.
#Here you go, boss. Another shipment of crafting components provided by Margog the Hammer. I plan to continue to fulfill my obligation to you for as long as I'm able, but Splendid-Paws' enemies are already lining up to take a shot at me, his reluctantly named successor. And someone arrived in town today who has been asking a lot of questions.
#Damn Splendid-Paws and his criminal empire! Damn them to Oblivion! He's cursed me with debts and obligations that will be the death of me unless I can figure a way out of this mess. Do you know who showed up today? One of the cat's brothers or nephews or whatever strange familial ties they share has challenged me for control of the organization!
#Her name's Fancy-Fur, and turns out she's Splendid-Paws' oldest daughter. She wants to fight me for control of the Khajiit's criminal holdings. It's her birthright, she says. I tried to get the cat to just change his mind and give his debts and obligations to her, but he refused. "If she decides to kill you, so be it," Splendid-Paws laughed.
#This is the instrument of Splendid-Paws' revenge--his headstrong and vibrant daughter, Fancy-Fur. She plans to kill me during our battle to control the Khajiit crime lord's massive amount of holdings. Holdings, I might add, that I have no interest in retaining! But you can't talk sense to an impassioned Khajiit female. Or so my hunt-mother told me.
#The constable came by before the challenge. I thought he was going to say how sorry he was for getting me into this, but instead he chided me for being stupid enough to fall into Splendid-Paws' trap. "They call her the Dark Claw," he said, "because she's the death you never see coming." I guess he thought that would cheer me up. Not so much.
#No matter what trouble I've gotten myself into, your shipments will continue to arrive on time--at least until Fancy-Fur guts me like a fish. And in that case, I've made my arrangements with another woodworker to take over my list of clients. So never fear, you'll be well taken care of. In the meantime, I need to figure out how to survive this mess.
#Constable Chedric did eventually offer me one piece of advice before he departed to find a good spot to watch the coming battle. "Lead with your left," he said, "it's your strongest move." I nodded and asked if he thought I could beat her. "Not a chance in Oblivion," he said, "but I'll be rooting for you anyway." Law-enforcers! What good are they?
#Margog the Hammer here. Let me tell you about my day. It all started when Splendid-Paws' daughter Fancy-Fur challenged me to a death duel for control of her father's criminal holdings. Holdings I never even asked for! I was tricked into this situation by the Khajiit. It's his way of getting revenge on me for turning him over to the constable.
#I carried my latest keepsake chest out into the street so I could deliver it to Klari the Alchemist before the battle. She commissioned it a few weeks' back, requesting I carve a scene from "The Brave Little Scrib" on the lid. Fancy-Fur approached to take a look at the chest, running a paw over the engraved scene. Tears welled in her eyes.
#"Brave Little Scrib," said Fancy-Fur as she examined my latest keepsake chest. "That was always my favorite story," she said, tears welling in her eyes. "Father used to read it to me. When he was home." Something was happening here, but I wasn't sure what it was. "You crafted this?" she asked. I did the only sensible thing. I nodded affirmatively.
#"The tale of the Brave Little Scrib tells the story of a noble soul," Fancy-Fur said, "and you have captured that spirit with marvelous precision." I replied that I liked to work with wood, and that it was my favorite story, too. She looked deep into my eyes. "I can't kill such a gifted crafter," she said, "so how will we settle this situation?"
#Constable Chedric approached as Fancy-Fur contemplated not killing me. I wasn't completely sure what was happening, but it seemed like our mutual affection for the Brave Little Scrib was going to save my life. "I see only one solution to this situation," Chedric said. "Explain yourself, law-enforcer," Fancy-Fur said, wiping away a tear. So he did.
#"Marriage!" Fancy-Fur and I exclaimed. "It's the only logical solution," Chedric continued, a barely perceptible smirk on his lips. "You get to share control of both families' holdings, and no one has to die in the process." I looked over at Fancy-Fur. She was sort of attractive, but maybe I ought to take my chances in battle after all.
#Here you go, boss. More items for your crafting. Meanwhile, Fancy-Fur and I went back into my tavern and had a nice long talk. Turns out, she's a really interesting young woman--for a violent and obsessive Khajiit who happens to be the daughter of my greatest rival. I think we're going to try this marriage arrangement. What could possibly go wrong?
#It goes against Orc tradition. It certainly violates every tenet of Khajiit culture. But you know what? Neither Fancy-Fur or I give a skeever's arse about culture or tradition! We've merged our holdings and have agreed to run our operations--both legal and illegal--from a position of cooperation and mutual respect as husband and wife. Eat that, cat!
#Fancy-Fur and I went to visit Splendid-Paws today. They're sending him to the capital for his trial tomorrow, but we wanted to let him know how everything turned out. He was as furious as I hoped. Revenge is best when turned on its side, or so my hunt-mother used to say. He promised to make us regret this betrayal as we walked away, hand in hand.
#Margog the Hammer and Fancy-Fur, at your service! Life has gotten extremely busy, boss, but we promise you'll never miss out on crafting components. Our other businesses are thriving, too. Constable Chedric keeps an eye on us, but he seems more interested than hostile these days. I'm surprised, but I feel as happy as the Brave Little Scrib!
==Appearances==
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Category:Online: Hirelings