Accidentally Earning the Mafia's Wrath/A Close Call (Kiki Version)

(The next morning, Kiki’s group, now awake, lets Kiki, Zelda, and Elise pack away their sleeping bags with their magic and got their stuff together)
Tombo: Everyone ready?
Kiki’s group except Tombo: Yep! (Yes!)
(They resume their journey. As they trekked some more, they suddenly stopped upon smelling something nearby, although Yuffie's group got confused and suspicious altogether on the smell)
Yuffie's group: That smell....
Kiki: (Smells the smell again for bit) Smells like barbecue.
Tombo: (Agreeing, smelling a bit again) With a hint of hickory smoke.
Kanta: (Smells a bit) And olive oil.
Megavolt: (Confused) "Olive oil?"
Popple: (Confused) And "Hickory...?"
(Then Jiji spots something from nearby)
Jiji: And I think I found where the smell's coming from.
(Kiki's group looked where he pointed, and they realized; It's coming from a nice looking bar-like restaurant. Kiki's group got interested)
Satsuki: (Amazed) Wow! An actual restaurant in Oz.
Mei: That's cool!
Namine: I bet it's one of those downhome delicious barbecue restaurants with the most delicious downhome cooking meals!
Molly: (Eagerly shakes Tonto a bit like a British nanny) STOP!!
(Then she got excited after letting Tonto go)
Molly: You're making all of our stomachs growl at the sound of food like that!
(Yuffie's group, on the other hand, upon seeing the restaurant, got shocked and surprised, as if they recognized the place, which Kiki's group didn't notice yet)
Kiki: Well, why don't we stop and eat there?
Satsuki: Consider it our brunch, since we didn't eat breakfast.
Zelda: Or better yet, a birthday brunch for me and Elise.
Elise: (Agreeing) Yeah!
Kiki's group except Kiki, Yuffie, Zelda, and Elise: Yeah! (Sure!)
(Hearing them say that, Yuffie's group got hesitant and then got nervous while trying to pretend to be happy and trying to usher Kiki's group away from the bar quickly)
Wes: (Nervously happy) Actually, palsies, Yuffie's group and I suggest that we'd eat at a fabulous restaurant at Emerald City instead!
Liquidator: (Nervously happy) That's got barbecue as well!
James: (Nervously happy) Their food's better there anyway!
Quackerjack: (Nervously happy) Since we're close to Emerald City from where we are now!
Ray: (Stopping Yuffie's group) Whoa, whoa, Cher and Caps! I know we want to get to Emerald City lickety-split, but what's the big rush of passing this'm opportunity to try a BBQ place like that restaurant?
(Yuffie's group hesitated at first, but then explained away)
Yuffie: (Casually) Oh, well, it's not just a restaurant.
Megavolt: It's also a bar.
Jessie: The place where some people get drunk.
Kiki's group: (Confused) A bar?
(Then, to Yuffie's group's concern, Kiki's group is, instead, interested even more)
B.E.N.: (Interested) Oh, a restaurant and a bar.
Pinocchio: Well, I may not be smart, but I think most of us don't drink.
Kiki's group except Pinocchio and Yuffie's group: (Agreeing) Yeah.
Mei: No alcohol for us.
Tombo: (To Yuffie's group, reassuringly) Then we'll just go in there, eat and drink either water or soda pop for brunch.
Kanta: (Reassuringly in agreement) And then resume our trek.
Bushroot: But you're not worried that something bad might happen?
Meowth: Even I've got a bad feelings in my nine lives.
Popple: I say we just keep going right now, see?
(Hearing Bushroot ask that and Popple and Meowth say that, Kiki's group turned to them and Yuffie's group reassuringly as they approached the entrance of the building)
Kiki: Bushroot, Meowth, and Popple, just relax with Yuffie's group.
Yuki: Everything is going to be fine.
Jiji: Believe us.
Fievel: And if there's someone who works here that you conned, we'll help you apologize to him or her.
Tiger: Or them.
(Despite hesitating a bit, Yuffie's group then nervously gave in)
Yuffie's group: (To Kiki's group, out loud) Okay. (To themselves, nervously under their breath) You all have no idea who you're dealing with right now.
(Then upon reaching the entrance, Kiki's group entered, with Yuffie's group entering last reluctantly, but to their surprise, and Yuffie's group's relief, the place is empty, save for one drunk person laying on a table, half drunk and half hungover. The drunk person is an overweight yellow-skinned human man with short messy light brown hair, white eyes with black pupils that lack visible irises, black chest hair, and wearing a salmon colored short-sleeved collar-flapped shirt with a deep V-neck, blue pants, and blue shoes with white stripes and soles. He is Barney Gumble. He then got up, feeling a bit woozy and holding a beer bottle while Kiki's group gave awkward looks)
Barney: (Dizzily) Whoa...!
(Then he pulled a conchshell from underneath himself and placed it aside, much to Kiki's group's flabbergasted surprise)
Barney: Try sleeping on one of these and you'll definitely feel like something poked you good.
(He belches. Mei almost giggled a bit at Barney's belch, but Satsuki shushed her sternly, making her quiet down in realization sheepishly. Then Barney gets up and noticed a spiked piece of the conchshell stuck on his left hand's palm)
Barney: Oh, wow! A piece of that spiny is in my palm.
(Ray gave a flat nonchalant "Really?" look to us readers as Barney said this line, and then he flew up to Barney, being nice and all)
Ray: No prob, Cap. I'm-a gettin' that conchshell spike out.
Barney: (Impressed) Really? Why, thanks, little glowing ladybug guy.
Ray: (Correcting him nonchalantly) Cajun firefly.
Barney: Gesundheit.
(Then he held his spike-poked palm out for Ray and upon coming upon the drunk man's palm, Ray repulsed at his smell)
Ray: Ooh-whee! Since when was the last time you took a bath?
Barney: (Pondering) Um, I think I took one last week.
Jiji: (To Kiki's group, nonchalantly) Hence his beer smell.
(Then Barney screamed in pain for a bit, much to Kiki's group's surprise)
Elise: (Concerned) What?!
Zelda: (Concerned) What happened?
Barney: It hurts when the spiny's pulled like that!
(But Kiki's group got nonchalantly annoyed)
Lea and Pyra: (Nonchalantly) Really?
Ray: (Nonchalantly) I ain't touched it yet.
(Then he grabbed the spiny while Barney turned to Kiki's group and him)
Barney: My name's Barney Gumble. And you?
Kiki's group: (Unsure) Oh, well, uh....
Barney: (Casually shrugs it off) Oh, no worries introducing yourselves. Because any friend of them who helps me out of a bind are friends of....
(Then a "Twang" noise was heard)
Barney: YEOW!!
(He looked and Ray holding the conchshell's spike, which he apparently had removed from Barney's palm. Barney looked at his palm and got amazed and impressed)
Barney: Wow. Good pull.
Ray: Thank you, Barney. Now, who're...?
Barney: (Sheepishly realizing something upon reacting in pain a bit) Uh, while we talk...?
(He turned around to Kiki's group, revealing his rear also sprinkled with four conchshell spike pieces, much to Ray's nonchalant annoyance. Then as they talked and Barney noticed Yuffie's group, Ray pulled the spikes out of his rear)
Barney: Oh, hey, Yuffie, boys.
Yuffie's group: Hey, Barn.
Quackerjack: From what we guessed, you got drunk again, huh?
Popple: And now currently hungover, right?
Barney: Well, what can I say? (Rays pulls the first spike out) Ooh! Any good beer is as.... (Ray pulls another spike out) Yah! Good as another.
(Ray pulls the third spike out)
Barney: Whoa, boy!
Aryll: But haven't you considered being sober for a while if you're an alcoholic?
Link: It's usually okay for men like you to have beer, but not that much.
Barney: (Shrugs) Oh, no worries. I may be an alcoholic, but I can definitely be as sober as pos....
(Then Ray pulled the last spike out of his rear)
Barney: OW!!!! That last one was really wedged in.
Ray: Well, let this be a lesson to you; Next time you go punch-drunk, y'all need to watch where you lay.
Christopher: And stay out of trouble.
Barney: (Gives a toast with a beer bottle) You got it.
(He drinks from that bottle and then as soon as he finished, he gets up)
Barney: Well, off to the restrooms.
(He heads into the men's restroom. As soon as he's gone, Kiki's group turned to Yuffie's group)
Wes: Now are you definitely sure you still want to eat here?
Popple: And that we should just leave now?
Yuffie: Because this was a bad idea coming here.
Kiki: Well, to put it bluntly....
Kiki's group except Yuffie's group: No way.
Aqua: And I completely agree on us coming here being a bad idea.
Mushu: So, we're outta here.
(Then they heard some men's loud voices coming from outside, chattering away and/or cheering a bit, terrifying Yuffie's group, for the voices are approaching the bar)
Megavolt: (Panicking) We gotta get outta here!
Popple and Team Rocket: (Panicking) We also gotta hide!
(Quickly noticing the backdoor, Tombo points it out)
Tombo: This way!
(Just when Kiki's group was gonna go out that door, they heard the front door's doorknob turning, and they turned and saw in concern. Then we see the front door open and some men entered, revealing to be a group of gangsters belonging to an Italian mafia, all happy and excited and carrying a huge bag of money for some reason. The first mafia man is a heavyset yellow-skinned human man with short gray hair, white eyes with black pupils that lack visible irises, medium tan yellow tanning eyebags underneath his eyes, and wearing a gray long-sleeved jacket with a white folded handkerchief in his left side chest part pocket over a teal green long-sleeved collar-flapped, button-up shirt with a dark teal green placket, buttons, and Peter Pan collar, a gold chain necklace underneath his shirt, a silver Rolex watch on his left wrist, a gold chain bracelet on his right wrist, a gold pinky ring on his right hand's pinky finger, dark teal green pants, white socks, and black shoes, and sometimes carries a gun, knife, cigar, and silver knuckle brasses. He is Don Marion Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico, the leader of the Oz Mafia. The second mafia man is a yellow-skinned human man with short brown hair, white eyes with black pupils that lack visible irises, and wearing a charcoal gray long-sleeved business suit over a black long-sleeved collar-flapped, button-up shirt, a black stringed necklace with an off white fake shark tooth charm underneath his shirt, a lavender necktie, a black leatherbanded watch on his left wrist, a black belt with a silver buckle, charcoal gray pants, white socks, and black shoes, and, like Fat Tony, sometimes carries a gun and knife. He is Max Legman AKA Legs, Fat Tony's loyal capo. The third mafia man is a yellow-skinned human man with short black curly afro-like hair, white eyes with black pupils that lack visible irises, and wearing a teal blue long-sleeved business suit over a white long-sleeved collar-flapped, button-up shirt, a blue necktie, a gold chain necklace underneath his shirt, a silver gold Rolex watch on his left wrist, a black belt with a silver buckle, teal blue pants, white socks, and black shoes, and, like Fat Tony and Legs, sometimes carries a gun and knife. He is Louis "Louie" Walters, Fat Tony's other loyal capo. The fourth mafia man is a yellow-skinned human man with short wavy black hair, thick black eyebrows, white eyes with black pupils that lack visible irises that are sometimes squinty to make them look shifty, a very small thick cleft near his bottom lip on his chin, and wearing a plum colored long-sleeved business suit over a light purple long-sleeved collar-flapped, button-up shirt with dark purple pinstripes, a gold chain necklace underneath his shirt, a light violet necktie, a gold Rolex watch on his left wrist, a black belt with a silver buckle, plum colored pants, white socks, and dark violet dress shoes, and, like Fat Tony, Legs, and Louie, sometimes carries a gun, knife, and cigarette. He is Giovanni Silencio AKA Jonathan "Johnny Tightlips" Schmallippe, Fat Tony's other loyal capo. The fifth mafia man is a yellow-skinned human man with short slicked grayish brown hair, white eyes with black pupils that lack visible irises, and wearing a gold chain necklace with a small gold circular pendant, a teal green long-sleeved jacket over a fuchsia long-sleeved collar-flapped, button-up shirt, a black leather belt with a gold buckle, charcoal black pants, and black shoes. He is Frankie the Squealer, Fat Tony's loyal low-ranked soldier in the mafia who has a tendency to squeal secrets out, believing that it makes him feel big. And the last mafia man is a yellow-skinned old human man with short gray hair, white eyes with black pupils that lack visible irises, a pair of two tiny black mustaches, plenty of wrinkles on his skin, and wearing a charcoal black long-sleeved overcoat with a red interior on his shoulders, a charcoal black long-sleeved tuxedo suit, a lavender long-sleeved collar-flapped, button-up shirt, a purple necktie, charcoal black pants, and dark brown shoes. He is Don Vittorio DiMaggio, the commanding don of the mafia, who Fat Tony and his men also respect. Upon entering, they looked at where Kiki's group is, only for when we return our view of that spot, Kiki's group is gone for some reason)
Frankie: Boy, we sure showed those gamblers a lesson!
Louie: Yeah, they should think twice before trying to swindle our money in our bet!
Fat Tony: And it's like the old saying goes; You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
(The mafia cheered a bit in agreement until Louie noticed something suspicious)
Louie: Hey!
(Hidden nearby the bar counter, Kiki's group. except Yuffie's group, having already hidden on time, got silently concerned)
Louie: Our regular drunk patron's gone.
(The mafia noticed as well, for Louie is right; Barney, their said regular drunk patron, is, indeed, missing. Hidden elsewhere beneath the pool table, Yuffie's group got silently concerned as well. But Fat Tony and Vittorio shrugged it off casually)
Vittorio: Ah, he must've gone to the restroom to recover from his usual hangover.
Fat Tony: Most drunks can do that.
Louie: (Realizing casually) Oh, yeah, that's right.
(Still in their separate hidden spots, Kiki and Yuffie's groups silently sighed in relief and were about to sneak away quietly when suddenly....)
Legs: Hey, Boss, guys!
(Kiki and Yuffie's group silently jumped, startled by Legs' shout, worried that they've been spotted. But then, to their relief again, Legs instead noticed Barney's empty beer bottle)
Legs: Barney forgot to pick up his mess again.
Johnny: (Sighs in annoyance) Okay, I'll clean it up.
(After accepting the beer bottle from Legs, Johnny walked over to a nearby recycle bin near the very pool table Yuffie's group is hiding in and trying to sneak out from. Unfortunately, unknown to Yuffie's group at first, thinking they were in the clear, Johnny noticed something upon dropping the beer bottle into the recycle bin. A lone tiny ninja star. He picks it up, and studied it. Then, as if he recognized the ninja star, he walks over to Fat Tony to show it to him)
Johnny: Boss?
(He shows the ninja star to Fat Tony, and upon seeing it, Fat Tony seemingly recognized it)
Fat Tony: Wait a minute....
(Hearing Fat Tony say it suddenly, Yuffie's group and even Kiki's group, still trying to sneak out quietly, got calmly nervous, believing that they're gonna get caught. With Fat Tony's gang, he and his gang got suspicious)
Fat Tony: I believe we found our sneaky rats....
(Then Fat Tony narrowed his gaze briefly at Yuffie's group's hidden spot without looking and prepared the ninja star)
Fat Tony: And here....
(He throws the ninja star at the pool table's leg, causing Yuffie's group to jump out of hiding in surprise and fear. Then Yuffie's group gave shocked looks, realizing they've been busted while the hidden Kiki's group got shocked and concerned and Fat Tony's gang gave smug smirks)
Fat Tony: They are.
(Yuffie's group got nervous as they got up and tried to speak casually and happily, as if they're old chums with Fat Tony's gang)
Yuffie's group: (Nervously) Oh, hey guys.
Team Rocket: (Nervously) What's up?
Wes: (Nervously) Nice to see you again, palsies.
Yuffie: (Nervously) Hey, did one of you get a haircut?
Popple: (Nervously) Or better yet, a good shave on your face?
Frankie: (Cheerfully missing the point) I got a shave and a haircut for two bits!
(Fat Tony's gang dagger glared at Frankie, making him nervously realize)
Frankie: (Nervously) Oops.
(Then Legs roughly bonks Frankie on his head)
Legs: (To Frankie, nonchalantly) Shut up-a ya face. (To Yuffie's group, in his normal voice) Does it matter how we are?
Vittorio: In fact, you still owe us the money you got from selling us the illegal fireworks.
Fat Tony: (Agreeing) The ones we asked you to smuggle for us.
(He gestures to the pile of illegal smuggled fireworks laying nearby. Realizing that old con before, Yuffie's group tried to reason with them)
Popple: Yeah, about that....
Liquidator: Look, you have every right to be angry at us for ripping you off, but....
Fat Tony: No buts.
Louie: Where is our dough you owe us?
Yuffie's group: (Nervously) Uh....
Yuffie: Listen, just give us time and we....
Fat Tony: (To Yuffie's group, in his menacing mafia tone) No time and/or words. (To Legs, Louie, and Johnny) Legs, Louie, Johnny Tightlips, take care of them.
Legs, Louie, and Johnny: You got it, Boss.
(Then the three capos approached Yuffie's group menacingly, like they're gonna beat them up, much to Yuffie's group's nervousness as Yuffie's group tried to reason with them again)
Wes: (Nervously) Oh, boy....
Megavolt: (Nervously) Hey, uh, can't we please, please, try to talk a bit?
Popple: (Nervously begging for mercy, about to cry for mercy) We beg of you!
Johnny: Tough.
Louie: (Punching his fist in his palm) Like the boss said, no time and/or words.
(Yuffie's group chuckled nervously a bit while Popple snapped out of almost crying for mercy as Legs, Louie, and Johnny got closer to them, ready to beat them up. Not taking this anymore, Kiki's group ran out of hiding and called out to them, getting their attention)
Kiki's group: Wait!
(Their attention caught, Fat Tony's gang got surprised and then suspicious)
Fat Tony: Who the heck are you?
Zelda: (Trying to reason with them) Look, you, uh, no offense, ruffians and thugs, but....
Fat Tony: We ain't ruffians or thugs.
Frankie: We full-fledged crooks.
Louie: (To Frankie, angrily punching him in his gut) Stuff it! (To Kiki's group while Frankie recovered) We ain't got no business with youse.
Fat Tony: So either leave or we'll force you to leave us.
Kiki: (Trying to reason with them) No, listen! If you mess with Yuffie's group over a reneged deal you made over illegally smuggled fireworks, which Yuffie's group's sorry for.
Satsuki: (Trying to reason with them in agreement) Then, unfortunately, it is, too, our business.
(A short pause, then....)
Fat Tony: (To Kiki's group, casually) Well, since you know Yuffie's group.... (To Legs, Louie, and Johnny, smugly) Boys?
(Legs, Louie, and Johnny approached Kiki's group, all tough-like)
Kiki: (Staying calm, trying to reason with them) Look, why don't we just negotiate?
Satsuki: (Staying calm in agreement) Aren't negotiations part of your business?
(The mafia stopped and got interested, despite being suspicious)
Fat Tony's gang: "Negotiate?"
Fat Tony: Well, by all means, yes, negiotations are part of our business.
(Nearby the men's room, Barney peeked out quietly and listened in in interest. Hearing them say that, Popple and Liquidator piped in in agreement)
Liquidator: Yes, by all means, let's negotiate.
Popple: A little "Going once, going twice" moment by all means.
Tombo: Yuffie's group is really sorry for ripping you off like that.
Kanta: So, why don't we...?
(During Tombo and Kanta's lines, some of Yuki's fur on her nervously wagging tail accidentally tickled Mushu's nose, about to make him sneeze. Hearing him, Kanta stopped talking and he and everyone else noticed. Mushu tried to surpress his sneeze as he unknowingly turned towards the fireworks, much to everyone's shock)
Yuki, Jiji, Zelda, and Elise: (While Cri-Kee squeaked a bit in shock and concern) Mushu, don't!
(But too late; Mushu sneezed a powerful sneeze in a small fireball, which then ignited a nearby firework rocket's fuse line. Seeing this in shock, everyone, including the surprised, yet clueless Barney, retreated out of the bar, Fat Tony's gang through the back door, Barney through a spare second back door, and Kiki and Yuffie's groups through the front door. Then sure enough, the fireworks exploded from the fuse's lit fire reaching the rocket, blowing up the entire bar, as well as the mafia's money they won in another bet, into a fiery oblivion. After that's died down, what was left of the bar and the mafia's bet money are now a huge wave of flames in one spot. Recovering, Kiki and Yuffie's groups looked back and saw the burning remains of the bar and got calmly concerned)
Ray: I think.... We gonna get outta here.
Kiki's group except Ray: (Quickly agreeing and retreating) Right behind you!
Tombo: (While running) Until things hopefully cool down for them.
(Then with that, Kiki's group got away. At another spot, Fat Tony's gang recovered as well, and upon noticing their bar and even the money they worked so hard to win in the other bet in flames, they got shocked while Frankie is the only one upset over this like some drama queen)
Frankie: (Horrified) Our bar! Our only hangout and club! (Bawls his eyes out) Ohhhhh nooooo! What're we gonna do now?!
(As Frankie said this overreactingly, Fat Tony's gang, on the other hand, calmly glared bitterly, angered and extremely livid over what just happened. Then after Frankie finished that line, Fat Tony, annoyed along with his gang over Frankie's overreactive behavior, quiets him by furiously slapping him across his face)
Frankie: Ow, that hurt!
Fat Tony: (In tranquil fury, enunciating) Get a grip!
(Then he turned to his men)
Fat Tony: (To Legs, Louie, and Johnny) You three come with me after Yuffie's group and their punks they involved in their con trickery! (To Vittorio, Frankie, and his men) The rest of you, salvage whatever you can find in that mess after you put that fire out!
Vittorio, Frankie, and Oz Mafia: Of course. (You got it, Boss.)
(Fat Tony, Legs, Louie, and Johnny then head their way to find Kiki's group)
Fat Tony: Come on, they ain't gettin' away with this.
Legs, Louie, and Johnny: Right.
(Then with that, Fat Tony, Legs, Louie, and Johnny head off to the direction where Kiki's group has disappeared into while the rest of the mafia stayed behind to put the fire out. Nearby, Barney also recovered, all dizzied. Then he recovered and got amazed and surprised altogether)
Barney: Wow, that was one big explosion.
(He ponders for a bit while and after drinking some beer from another beer bottle)
Barney: Hmm, maybe I should tell 'em about the nice guys who removed the spikes from me while we clean that mess up.
(He belches again and went over to the mafia)
Coming up: Kiki's group finally near Emerald City once out of the forest finally, but then Aquatic Goblins block the way with their bridged lake. But upon almost making it across, Kiki’s group, except Zelda and Elise, nearly get dragged in the water when they are rescued by two familiar good witches and the Elemental Sword, Elemental Bo Stick, and Elemental Bow and Arrows, and then later, they try to convince Rabbit to let them in Emerald City.
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:The Wizard of Oz Parodies
Category:Ozma
Category:Disney Princess Fanmakes
Category:Disney Princess Parodies