Stop the Madness!

Stop the Madness! is the tenth episode of Season One in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
At the Golden Krab, a picky customer annoys SpongeBob more than usual. This eventually drives SpongeBob into madness, much to Squidward's enjoyment.
==Synopsis==
The episode begins with Squidward swabbing the floors at the golden Krusty Krab.
“Why did I have to be the one to swab the… “poopdeck” today? Is that even a real word?” Squidward asks.
“Of course it’s a real word!” Krabs answers. “Back in me ol’ navy days, it didn’t remind people of the stuff people flush down the toilet.”
“I thought we were supposed to be fancy,” Squidward says. “This is FANCYland, after all. Don’t you have a cleaning robot or something?”
“Heavens, no!” Krabs replies. “I’ve always been afraid of robot overlords. Free manual labor for the win.”
“But you pay us minimum wage.”
“I thought there wasn’t even any money around here.”
“Ugh, forget it. Just know that I hate anything and everything.”
Squidward goes back to swabbing the floor, while SpongeBob is simultaneously taking orders and cooking meals.
“I can’t keep this up forever, Mr. Krabs!” SpongeBob says. “My arms are killing me, and I can’t keep making more!” One of SpongeBob’s arms fall, and one regrows just as quickly.
A fancy fish taps him on the shoulder while taking someone’s order. “Excuse me, sir, but I didn’t ask for SILVER on my patty. I asked for PLATINUM.”
“Sorry about that, sir,” SpongeBob says. “I got my hands full. I’ll get you a new patty in a moment.”
“That won’t do. I demand more compensation!” The fancy fish claps his hands, and a bodyguard of his shows up next to him. “If you don’t do what I say, my bodyguard will demolish you.”
Mr. Krabs hears this and immediately confronts the fish.
“That won’t be necessary,” Krabs quickly says. “SpongeBob will do what you say in a flash.”
“Is that so?” the fancy fish says. “I order for SpongeBoy here to give me a PLATINUM patty and a GOLDEN patty with extra gold.”
“Right away, sir!” SpongeBob says.
SpongeBob starts to make the platinum patty, but is quickly yelled at by the fancy fish.
“You dunce! Go faster!”
“I’m going as fast as I can, sir, just gimme a-
“GO FASTER!”
SpongeBob tries to go faster, but the fancy fish keeps shouting at him, making him lose focus.
“You know what?” SpongeBob says. “I will go faster… in YELLING RIGHT BACK AT YOU!” He then breathes heavily to calm himself.
“So that’s how you wanna play it, eh?” the fancy fish says. “Let’s have a duel! Fancyland style.”
“You’re on.”
The two prepare for a duel. Squidward starts to take notice and starts chuckling to himself.
“Get back to work, Mr. Squidward!” Krabs yells.
“Everyone here is giving me a migraine…” Squidward mutters to himself.
SpongeBob and the fancy fish are playing tug of war, with the rope attached to both sides of the Krusty Krab. Neither side is winning.
“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when you said we should have a duel. Either way, you’re no match for me!” says SpongeBob.
“Match? What a great idea!” the fancy fish says.
The fancy fish pulls a box of matches out of his pocket, lights them, and throws the entire box on the ground. The box of matches starts a fire.
SpongeBob is confused. “And this is supposed to do what?”
“It’s supposed to distract you! And help me win the duel!”
“Hey, that’s cheating!”
“Did I ever say I was a good sport? Exactly.”
Squidward laughs at this exchange, still mopping the floors for no reason.
The fire starts to spread toward Cashy, Mr. Krabs’ cash register. When the money in it starts to burn, Mr. Krabs immediately sniffs it and comes rushing out of his office.
“I SMELL BURNING!” Krabs yells. “Who did this?!”
The fancy fish immediately blames SpongeBob. “It was your poor excuse of a fry cook!”
Squidward, at this point, is laughing while watching the entire thing while eating popcorn at the register. He doesn’t even notice that he’s on fire.
“Uh, Squidward, you’re on fire,” Krabs points out.
“Really?” Squidward says. He looks at himself to realize that he’s on fire. “AHH! Somebody do something!”
Mr. Krabs grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out Squidward, but the fire starts on him again.
“You fools! This was all a facade! I’ve been trying to sabotage the Krusty Krab for years. And I’ve finally done it!” the fancy fish exclaims.
Mr. Krabs is furious. “You’re…”
He brings out a massive stamp that says “BANNED” on it.
“...BANNED! Permanently!”
“Good. One less customer for your business,” the fancy fish retorts. After this exchange, the fancy fish walks out with his head held high.
SpongeBob, meanwhile, is going insane.
“Fancy… fish… Fancyland… duel… tug of war… platinum… uranium… KRABBY PATTIES!” SpongeBob says this as he runs on the ceiling like a maniac.
“He’s defying all laws of logic!” Squidward exclaims, laughing his butt off.
“Mr. Squidward!” Mr. Krabs scolds. “Go up there and get him down!” He hands Squidward a pair of suction cups to get to the ceiling.
“Ugh, fine. But I won’t like this,” Squidward says.
Squidward uses the suction cups to walk on the ceiling and grab SpongeBob. After he gets SpongeBob onto the ground, he calms down.
“Sorry about that. I haven’t gotten that angry since the time I had to take a day off.” SpongeBob says.
“It’s… fine…” Squidward replies.
“Squidward, as punishment, you will have to man the grill for a week.” Krabs says.
“Aw man, that’s a punishment for me, too!” SpongeBob complains.
“If one man of the crew does wrong, then everyone has done wrong. That’s my favorite saying back in me navy days.” Krabs says, and then he laughs.
Meanwhile…
The fancy fish is sipping a cup of tea in his living room while watching Fab and Fancy.
“Ah, this is luxury at its finest,” the fish says. “All in a day’s work to show off my dominance to others. No one is better than me, and I stand by that.”
“Nigel, did you make the bed this morning, dear?” his wife yells from the other room.
“Yes, dear!” he yells back. “And stop babying me!”
“Well, you’re being the baby here. You won’t stop sabotaging other people’s businesses! First it’s Fed-Ex, and now the Krusty Krab. What should I ever do with you?”
“Don’t start this again! You know how sensitive I am!”
The two start bickering, and it fades to Ze French Scientist in his lab.
Ze French Scientist: Ah, you made it to zee end. I hope you liked zee tea and scones I made today. It was my treat.
French Narrator: I enjoyed zee tea and scones quite much. And a happy ending to a happy evening. The end.
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:2020 Transcripts
Category:Welcome to Fancyland!
Category:Episodes written by FireMatch
Category:2020 Episodes
Category:Episodes