The Ultimate Joedown

"The Ultimate Joedown" is the seventh episode of SBFW: Finding Bigfoot. Written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway, the episode was first aired on 17th February 2022, on Current.
===Synopsis===
Scott and Adam confront Joe at his mansion.
===Transcript===
[The episode starts in a misty forest, where formerly evergreen trees are rendered dust collectors and raccoons lie dead - or to his kids, just sleeping - on the ground. Joe and his dad, Scott, are locked in a forcefield, represented by a pink sphere encapsulating the two, enlocked in a tight, strangling grip of each other’s shoulders, just slightly above the ground. Scott is heavily bruised, with a gaping gash on his forehead leaking blood, yet Joe seems unscathed.]
Scott: Son, we can’t do this forever. 
Joe: Don’t you get it, jerk? I am not your son. I am no longer “Joe”. 
Scott: Now, don’t say that–
Joe: In my time as a D-list celebrity, I realised that not only is fame not what it makes out to be but that the male human body is capable of such disgusting and shameful instincts that I cannot live with. I treated those bitches like slaves–
Scott: They’re called women, Joe.
Joe: I’M TALKING! The point is, I’m repulsed by this “Joe” figure. Joe killed Ray. Joe killed Alan. Joe nearly killed his own father. So I can’t be Joe.
[Flashback to Scott and Adam - Alan’s dad - and the reverend entering Joe’s mansion. It is almost pitch black save for some candles, which the reverend is able to light, guarding their way through its eerie hallways, covered in cobwebs. The fluttering of bats is heard.]
Scott: Shit, can you hear that?
Adam: Radical sounds.
Reverend: Demon spawn.
[The trio move past a painting of Mona Lisa on the wall, but after they pass the art, its face unravels, revealing a small flamethrower that engulfs the reverend in flames. Adam and Scott panic in response.]
Scott: Do you guys have any water?
Adam: I only drink blood.
Reverend: AND I’M ON FIRE!
Scott: We know–uh, uh…
Reverend: You know, I always hoped I’d die on the cross like the messiah… but third-degree burns are a good plan B.
[The reverend is engulfed entirely in flames and disintegrates into ash.]
Scott: [clearly devastated] Well, I guess we gotta move on. Come on, man.
Adam: I don’t think I can do this, dude. I just saw a reverend burn to death with my own three eyes.
[A masked warrior armed with a shiny sword, with Japanese writing enscripted onto it, jumps onto the floor, behind the duo.]
Adam: For fuck’s sake. 
[Scott tries to shoot the warrior, but soon finds out that he is out of ammo.]
Scott: You know, I really thought they sold rifles with more than two bullets nowadays.
[With some groaned hesitance, the masked warrior slashes Scott’s forehead, creating a large gash, and puts his hands on his shoulders, creating a pink forcefield that conveniently leaves Adam out.]
Adam: Yeah, fuck this shit, I’m moving to bloons.
[Adam turns into a vampire bat and flies out of the mansion, whilst Scott and the warrior continue entangled in the forcefield.]
Warrior: [muffled voice] D–Dad?
Scott: [immediately disappointed] Oh, this is not Joe.
[Fade to the present, where the two are still locked in the forcefield.]
Joe: You were right.
Scott: Okay, well… nacho, you wanna go to Burger King?
[Joe makes the forcefield disappear, somewhat reluctantly, and starts stammering in response.]
Joe: Uh… s–sure.
[We cut to Joe and his dad happily eating Burger King in Scott’s car.]
Joe: God, what do they put in these burgers? They make me feel like a whole new woman.
[Scott gives Joe a concerned look, and the episode ends.]
Category:0fflinejoe
Category:SBFW: Finding Bigfoot
Category:2022
Category:2022 Episodes
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Category:Joke Pages
Category:JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:Episodes written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:LGBTQ+
Category:2020s