Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon loading screens

While loading Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon shows sarcastic Tips on how to get the most out of the game, here a complete list.
== Combat ==
* When you catch on fire, scream along with your character. It'll be like Karaoke. 
* Taking too much damage? Stop getting shot, okay? I swear, it’s like talking to a monkey.
* Nano-Meds in the world heal you, but who the hell picks up and uses strange syringes that they find lying around in real life?
* That last Nano-Med you found lying around was infected with cyber-superherpes. We suggest you get tested before stuff starts falling off.
=== Weapons ===
* Handguns are guns that fit in your hand. The future is here.
* Shotguns easy to shoot, suck to reload.
* If you keep getting caught sneaking around, stop using assault rifles. They're really loud.
* Sniper rifles... close-range weapons for when you accidentally select the wrong gun.
* LMGs are highlighted in color to emphasize all the important information about them.
* The _ _ _ is silent, but deadly. If you guessed "Gas" or "Bow," both are right.
* Did Dr. Darling tell you about the Killstar yet? Probably not. She does that all the time.
* Attachments go on your weapons.
=== Explosives ===
* Grenades explode.
* Hold [Throw] to _ _ _ _ grenades. Can you guess what the word is? ("cook")
* Use Molotoxes to burn things.
* Use grenades and Molotoxes. They blow up and stuff.
* C400 charges are explosives that suddenly explode... like a certain soon-to-be Ex with self-esteem issues.
* Use C400 to blow enemies... up.
* C400 is like C4, but with two zeroes.
* Mines have proximity sensors and emotion chips set to "Depressed". When they blow up, they're just committing suicide in front of a witness.
=== Enemies ===
* Enemies in range can be shot.
* Enemies can knock you over. They're dicks like that.
* When you crouch, you can "teabag" enemies, which is dropping your cyber-scrotum in their mouths.
* Remember that time when you took that guy down from behind. Yeah. That was great.
* That last cyber-soldier you killed? He just beat cancer and had one week left to retire. Hope you're proud of yourself.
=== Takedowns ===
* Takedowns. For when you want to play like a douche.
* If you haven't used the standard Takedown by now, you probably never will.
* To perform a Death from Above takedown, be higher than the enemy.
* The Death from Below takedown means the enemy is higher than you.
* The Heavy Beatdown skill. It's there.
* The Grenade Takedown skill robs families of any hope of ever identifying their loved ones. Are you happy now?
* Gunslinger Takedown ... stealing the opponent's gun and helping you be a better troll.
* The Shuriken Takedown skill lets you Ninja their ass with a throwing star.
* The Takedown Drag skill has nothing to do with cross-dressers.
* Mash buttons when taking down enemies and you might just chain your kills.
=== Cover & Stealth ===
* Use cover to stay behind things.
* Cover is like the condom of shooters, protecting you from STDs like hollow points and lasers.
* Throw dice to distract enemies. If you roll a 20, it's a possible critical, and the Orc will take double damage. 
* You should be able to throw a die. Press stuff until it happens.
== Locations ==
=== Garrisons ===
* Liberated garrisons are liberated.
* Liberated garrisons are awesome for a bunch of reasons.
* If you're wondering why you have to buy items in the garrison store in a place without an obvious economy, then you're clearly a Commie bastard.
* Dying will respawn you at the closest garrison. We just hope you liberated it first.
* Alarms ring really loudly.
* Shooting an alarm is just shooting the messenger. Shoot the messenger instead.
== Store & Looting ==
* Buy ammo or you can't shoot.
* Need credits? Pilfer bodies. There's absolutely nothing morally objectionable about that.
* Attachments are like strap-ons for guns. Buy them at the store... the attachments...
* Maps at the store will show you where to rob stuff. Sorry, we meant "pilfer."
* Want more stuff? Kill more things. It's Democracy at its fun best.
== Characters ==
* Dr. Darling is pretty hot, huh? Yeah... she's not real. You know that, right?
* Did Dr. Darling tell you about the Killstar yet? Probably not. She does that all the time.
* Rex is being played by Michael Biehn. Yeah, bitches, THAT Michael Biehn. We got him.
* SPOILERS: Sloan is Rex's father... in the metaphoric sense. So, not really a spoiler and more of something that never pays off.
== Gameplay Mechanics ==
* The animal icons on the world map show you... ooOO! Kitties!
* Hints on the loading screen will give you hints.
* If you missed something like a tutorial, I'm sure we have it somewhere.
* Need help? The next randomly selected loading screen tip might help.
* Your character has a cyber-eye. It does stuff.
* Bet your character can hold his breath longer than you.
* New quests are quests that aren't old.
* We reward you with Cyber-Points (CP) for really questionable actions. Then we let you buy stuff that lets you do even more questionable things.
* When you earn enough Cyborg-Points (CP) we sacrifice a puppy in your honor.
* First you get the CP. Then you get the levels. Then you get the skills...
== Breaking the 4th Wall ==
* Play the game your way. In your underwear, naked, clothed... we're open world that way.
* We blew a lot of credits from our budget on colored fonts.
* Far Cry® 3 Blood Dragon, the game about 80s action films and real-American heroes, was made in Canada by a bunch of French-speaking Quebecers and a whack-load of Brits.
* Your character has health. When his health runs out, the game will alert you with "Game Over."
* Apparently, there's a progress screen telling you how close you are to unlocking special rewards. Let us know when you find it.
* If you're wondering why you can't skin animals anymore, it's because it's cruel. We replaced that with ripping out cyber-hearts instead.
* Sure, your character can die repeatedly as he's sent back to the previous save point, but every time he does, he becomes a little more jaded.
* If you're having a hard time completing a mission, ask your parents for help. This is totally their era.
* Alt+F4 is not your friend.
* Apparently, holding Gadget Wheel in the desired direction does stuff.
== Transport ==
* Technicals, boats, and gliders are types of vehucles... vehickles... vehuckles? Cars.
* Ziplines. We have them.
* Ziplines are in the sky. Why aren't they called skyropes?
* Fast travel allows you to travel. Fast.
Category:Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
Category:Loading screens