Sally Acorn Vs. Mega Man 2

<tabber>Original =thumb|center|600px
Sally Acorn Vs. Mega Man 2 is the seventeenth installment of Moleman's Epic Rap Battles, and the Season 2 premiere. It's a rematch between the leader of the Freedom Fighters from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, Sally Acorn, and the blue robot from his self-titled game series, Mega Man, along with many other random characters. It was released on April 9th, 2014.
== Cast ==
Chelsea Kuehl as Sally Acorn
Molemanninethousand as Mega Man and Announcer
Paul Bergen as Astro Boy
David Ohlsen as Geno
Miles as Sonic the Hedgehog
Joseph Sylvers as Steve Urkel
== Lyrics: ==
===Sally Acorn:===
Flynn made a mess, and some fans threw a fit,
But it was when that douchebag Kenny sued that everything went apeshit,
So they cast my hide aside, a resolution to my plight denied,
While they brought in your rusty little rear to make the mess called Worlds Collide!
And from that poor man's "Crisis" on one Mobius and one Earth,
My homeworld's seen some major changes we can't legally reverse:
Just ask my mom or brother! Wait, you can't; they don't exist,
But I'm still here, back in the flesh, with lightsabers on my wrists!
I burst that Bubble Lead of yours before; now watch me do it again:
Bring the biggest Mega-disgrace to your legacy since Captain fucking N!
I'll be immune to every attack, when I go harder than a Mettaur's hat:
Spitting sharp words like the spikes that kill you at the slightest contact!
(Mega Man: Oh, real funny!)
You know who I roll with; best believe that I go fast.
Call me Iron Queen: usurping your sinking franchise from your washed-up ass!
You could say I'm like Tron Bonne, 'cause I'll be serving you forty times:
Once for each lawsuit against Gru over their henchmen's designs! (*Minion laugh*)
I'm a strong, independent rebel princess who don't need no help from =Obi-Wan,
And the day I let you out-rap me is the day I marry Antoine,
Because for all your talk of "lasting peace", you couldn't be more reliant on violence,
So shut your whiny trap, and go pester Naugus down in the Zone of Silence!
Come at me fully Powered-Up and with nine E-Tanks in supply;
This Freedom Fighter queen will beat you 'til she runs those reserves dry!
I needn't weasel my way through this; beating you is just my Nack.
This Acorn's like a macadamia: you'll find that she's one tough nut to crack!
===Mega Man:===
Enough from you, Ricky; don't you make one more squeak:
You're as insufferable as Squirrel Girl, if she wasn't tongue-in-cheek!
Dug up some dirt on you with Rush, so I could give you the Blues,
Like Proto Man, who did some major whistle-blowing for me, too!
I'll make your TV comeback hopes go "BOOM!" like French animators,
And make this cannon on my arm your Ultimate Annihilator;
Thunder Beam you 'cross the room in pieces like some Yellow Devil,
And then use your soul to make a new S-Model Biometal!
I'll kill you in cold blood, then say you had the Sigma Virus;
Claiming self-defense, I'll be the Zero to your Iris.
Robo-hero legend speaking; not just any Sniper Joe.
To Hell with Marvel vs. Capcom; viva Super Smash Bros.!
I beat the robo-solar system, girl, from Neptune up to Venus.
Haul off to the other cartoon Mobius; go suck a PINGAS!
You're the Knothole Village bicycle, and even Rotor knows;
Took censors twenty years to give this skank a full set of clothes!
The Hercules of automatons; I always go the distance.
You're like Wily himself, because you fail at existence!
I'll shoot the brown clean off your coat and turn your wack ass pink,
While my Navi self deletes a certain virtual lynx.
Light up the Night; wreak righteous vengeance backed up by my own rock opera;
Go so hard, you'll think I'm tripping Force Metal-Supra,
'Cause my power score's a million, times a hundred and ten!
Your mega-ownage isn't over either, bitch; I brought a friend:
===???:===
Don't you call me "friend", Rock; you will address me as "Master":
When it comes to robo-heroes, I'm the Omega Factor!
===Astro Boy:===
I'm Astronomical; the God of manga's favored pride and joy,
And you've got about as much of a chance of beating me as Robotboy!
Royal rodent of the West, come face the far-East Mickey Mouse;
Not even Thor is gonna stop me when I bring down your Acorn House!
Seems we're alike in at least one way: not afraid to go 'round shirtless,
But girl, I'm in the Robot Hall of Fame; you belong in a furry circus!
I'm the Pinocchio of sci-fi, and that's no lie; screw you, A.I.!
Such intense focus on this rhythm, it's as if I had a third eye!
Watch me freely fly across the sky; don't need no doggie adaptor.
Got a heart of gold that doubles as a nuclear reactor!
I've had so many different series, it's confusing just to list them,
And I'll hurl you way past Pluto, into a whole different Star System!
Sacrificed myself to save the sun, long before Cillian Murphy did;
Go back to reading bedtime stories, Sally: you're not worthy, kid!
Ask anyone in Niiza, where my name's duly enshrined:
The Mighty Atom simply can't be smashed, even by Albert Rothstein!
(Beat stops, screen abruptly goes black)
===Geno:===
This shooting star'll sink your ship soon as he steps on board:
I'm crashing down into this battle like a giant-ass sword!
I know about timed rhymes; indeed, they're my most critical priority,
And when I'm on the mic, I'm my own highest of authorities!
Yo, I come fully-stacked with ninety-nine maxed Flower Points.
Forget about bronze, silver or gold: I be spitting Frog Coins!
I truly take the cake, make no mistake: it's like my name was Bundt;
I'm cannon-blasting wack machines of war and Chipette reject cun-
===Announcer:===
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, HOLD IT! NOBODY INVITED YOU,
YOUR WISH IS TO BE IN THIS? WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA COME TRUE!
GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THE FOREST; LEAVE THE RAPPING TO THE OTHERS.
YOU ARE NOT IN THIS BATTLE, AND YOU'RE NOT IN SMASH BROTHERS!
===Geno:===
Oh, come on now, Papa Mole: don't treat me like some kind of stranger:
I help Mario fight gnarly bad guys like the Axem Rangers!
Geno's whirling up onto the stage by popular demand,
And if you don't let me stay here, dude, I'm blowing up Japan!
===Announcer:===
HOLY CRAP; TALK ABOUT AN ACT OF GENOCIDE!
OKAY, FINE, CHUCKY, YOU WIN; STAY ALONG FOR THE RIDE!
===Geno:===
Yeah, when nutjobs mess with this here piece of wood, they get cracked;
Toss you clear across the field like an N.Y. quarterback,
I'll weave a verbal maze to spend the rest of your rapping lives,
'Cause you're all a bunch of Squares, like the guys who own my legal rights!
===Sally Acorn:===
That's it! I've been through many an upstaging for one life,
But before I let this slide; I'd sooner be a monkey's wife,
BI came back for a grudge match, not a battle royale,
But now, I'm left with no choice: yo, Rock, you asked for this, pal…
===Sonic the Hedgehog:===
It's my world when I come out and step it up into the zone:
Chaotic raps; like this was Camelot, I'm stealing the throne!
Throw you for a Shuttle Loop with that mad Spin Dash;
You're too slow to take me on: yo, let me battle the Flash!
Score that S-rank with flying Colors when I Unleash my rhymes;
With seven hundred rings in hand, and I'll Crush you 40 times,
And I can't promise you'll Live, but you'll sure as Iblis Learn
Just What I'm Made Of, when my speed gives you all wack friction burns!
===Sally Acorn:===
Wait, what? No! Hey, announcer voice up above,
That's the modern Sega Sonic, not the man I know and love!
Get my real boyfriend up in here so we can properly win this!
===Announcer:===
WELL, SALLY, IS THERE EVEN REALLY THAT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE?
===Sally Acorn:===
For the love of Furry Jesus, of course there is; yes!
===Announcer:===
WELL, GEE, IN THAT CASE, EXCUSE ME, PRINCESS!
===Sally Acorn:===
Look, I don't wanna argue; please just make this whole mess right:
Bring in the character played on TV by Jaleel White!
===Announcer:===
AS THE JOKER WOULD SAY, SALLY: VERY POOR CHOICE OF WORDS;
I'M GONNA EXPLOIT THE HELL OUT OF WHAT FROM YOU I JUST HEARD!
Sonic the Hedgehog:
…Cracked so many eggs, could live on omelets- (*SHOTGUN BLAST*)
===???:===
Hehehehehe… did I do that?
===Steve Urkel:===
Heidi-ho! It's me, Steve! But this ain't Blue's Clues;
No, it's the Urk-Man in this Full House, giving y'all the Urkel Blues!
Always the life of any party when I get down to dance:
Total pro at stealing shows, so hang on to your pants,
'Cause I'll be wearing you down until you fall and can't get up!
Being me is pretty hard work, but Thank God I'm Fly enough.
I'm a breakout when I break loose on the television sets,
And I'll break you Perfect Strangers without breaking a sweat!
Screw Family; I'm what matters: I'm the ultimate geek,
Ahen I show up on the scene, just watch those ratings start to peak!
This grumpy little doll seems to think he's badass and medieval;
But wait and see how tough he is, once he meets up with Stevil!
Rock over here may have a franchise, but I'll ruin that advantage
When I make Capcom go flat-bankrupt from property damage!
This other 'bot's the fruit of some guy trying to clone his dead son,
But I can make real clones; just ask Stefan!
Hey, what's wrong, Sal? You ain't looking like you should;
Do I make you feel uncomfortable? That's no good,
But I don't need you to be anybody I wanna be; literally:
Swap genes with folks like Elvis Presley and Bruce Lee!
Besides, no one's gonna be replacing Laura in my heart,
And girl, you ain't even Myra, so don't you even start,
Or else I'll stalk you home tonight and put an A-bomb in your dinner,
'Cause I'm cooler than the Fonz, so just accept it: I'm the winner!
==Poll==
<poll>
Who won?
Sally Acorn
Mega Man and Astro Boy
Geno
Announcer
Sonic the Hedgehog
Steve Urkel
</poll>
== Gallery ==
== Trivia ==
* B-Lo Lorbes, known for his rap battle series Gaming All-Star Rap Battles, made a review of this battle in his review series known as Rap Ranter.
* The remix of "Forest/Maze" from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars that was used for Geno's verse has been taken down.
|-|Remaster = thumb|center|600px
Sally Acorn Vs. Mega Man 2 (REMASTERED) is a remaster of the seventeenth installment of Moleman's Epic Rap Battles. It was released on April 13, 2018.
== Cast ==
Stacey Patrone as Sally Acorn
Molemanninethousand as Mega Man and Announcer
Carlos Reyis as Astro Boy
David Ohlsen as Geno
WrightOnTarget as Sonic the Hedgehog
Joseph Sylvers as Steve Urkel
== Lyrics ==
=== Sally Acorn: ===
Flynn made a mess, and the fans threw a fit,
And then that douchebag Kenny sued, and everything went apeshit!
And thus, I got cast aside, resolution again denied,
While they brought in your rusty little hide and had our worlds collide!
And from that poor man's "Crisis" on one Mobius and one Earth,
My homeworld's gone through major changes, we can't legally reverse:
Just ask my brother and my mother who no longer exist!
But I'm still here – back in the flesh, with lightsabers on my wrists!
Burst your Bubble Lead before, now watch me do it again:
Your biggest mega–embarrassment since Captain–Freaking–N!
Immune to all your attacks, like a Mettaur's hard hat,
With words so sharp, you'll explode at the slightest contact.
You know who I roll with; best believe I go fast.
Like Iron Queen, usurp your sinking franchise from your washed–up ass!
You could say I'm like Tron Bonne, because I'll serve you forty times,
Just like her lawsuits against Gru for stolen henchmen designs!
A rebel leader princess who needs no help from Obi–Wan;
The day I throw a fight to you's the day I marry Antoine,
'Cause you're a "peacekeeper" that couldn't be more reliant on violence,
With a voice so whiny, oughta seal you in the Zone of Silence.
Fight me fully–Powered Up, with nine E–Tanks in supply;
This Freedom Fighter queen will whoop you 'til those reserves run dry!
Don't need to weasel my way through this; beating you is my Nack.
This Acorn's like a macadamia: one tough nut to crack!
=== Mega Man: ===
Enough from you, Ricky; don't you make one more squeak:
You're as obnoxious as Squirrel Girl, if she weren't tongue–in–cheek!
Dug up some dirt with Rush Search to use to give you the Blues,
Like Proto Man, who helped me with some major whistle–blowing, too!
I'll make your TV comeback hopes go "BOOM!" like French animators;
Make this cannon on my arm your Ultimate Annihilator!
Thunder Beam you 'cross the room in pieces like a Yellow Devil,
Then use your soul to make a new S–Model Biometal!
Kill you in cold blood, then say you had the Sigma Virus;
Claim self–defense, like I was Zero, you were Iris.
Super robot legend speaking – not your average Sniper Joe.
Forget Marvel vs. Capcom; viva Super Smash Bros.!
I beat the robo–solar system, girl, from Neptune to Venus.
Haul off to AoStH's world; go suck a PINGAS!
You're the Knothole Village bicycle, and even Rotor knows;
Took censors twenty years to give this skank a full set of clothes!
I'm the Hercules of automatons: I always go the distance.
You're like Wily himself, because you fail at existence!
I'll shoot the brown clean off your body: turn your sorry ass pink,
While my Navi self deletes a certain virtual lynx.
Light up the Night; Vengeance to the sounds of my own rock opera.
Go so hard, they'll have to drug–test me for Force Metal–Supra,
'Cause my power score's a million, times one hundred and ten!
This mega–ownage isn't over either, bitch; I brought a friend:
=== ???: ===
Don't you call me that, Rock – you're to address me as "Master";
When it comes to robot heroes, I'm the Omega Factor!
=== Astro Boy: ===
I'm Astro–nomical; manga's granddaddy's favored pride and joy,
And you have as little chance of beating me as Robotboy!
Royal rodent of the West, come face the far–East Mickey Mouse;
Not even Thor's gonna stop me from bringing down your Acorn House!
Seems we're alike in at least one way: not afraid to go 'round shirtless,
But I'm a Robot Hall of Famer; you belong in a furry circus!
Screw A.I.! I'm the Pinocchio of sci–fi, it's no lie,
With such mad focus on this rhythm, very well may grow a third eye!
Freely fly all through the sky; don't need no doggie adaptor.
Got a heart of gold that doubles as a nuclear reactor.
I've been in so many series, difficult just to list them.
I'll hurl you way past Pluto; to a whole different Star System!
Sacrificial solar savior, long before Cillian Murphy.
Just go back to playing nanny, Aunt Sally; you're not worthy!
Go ask my homeboys back in Niiza, where my name's duly enshrined:
The Mighty Atom can't be smashed, even by Albert Rothstein!
(Beat stops, screen abruptly goes black)
=== Geno: ===
This shooting star'll sink your ship soon as he comes on board,
Crashing down into this battle like a giant–ass sword.
I know about timed rhymes, they're critical, my first priority;
When I'm on the mic, I'm my own highest authority!
Yo, I come fully–stacked at 99 Flower Points.
Forget silver or gold; I be spitting straight Frog Coins!
I take the cake, make no mistake: it's like my name was Bundt;
Cannon–blast these war machines and this Chipette reject cu– (*Record scratch*)
=== Announcer: ===
WOAH, WOAH, HOLD IT! THIS IS A DICK THING TO DO!
YOUR WISH IS TO BE IN THIS, BUT I WON'T LET THAT COME TRUE!
GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THE FOREST; LEAVE THE RAPPING TO THE OTHERS.
YOU ARE NOT IN THIS BATTLE, AND YOU'RE NOT IN SMASH BROTHERS!
=== Geno: ===
Oh, come on, Papa Mole! Don't you treat me like a stranger;
I help Mario battle bad guys like the Axem Rangers.
Geno's whirling up onto the stage by popular demand,
And if you don't let me stay here, dude, I'm blowing up Japan! (Holds up detonator)
=== Announcer: ===
HOLY CRAP, THAT WOULD BE, LIKE… AN ACT OF GENOCIDE!
OKAY, FINE, CHUCKY, YOU WIN; STAY ALONG FOR THE RIDE!
=== Geno: ===
Yeah, when nutjobs mess with this here piece of wood, they get cracked;
I'll toss you clear across the field like an NY quarterback.
Weave a verbal maze to spend the rest of your rapping lives,
'Cause you're a bunch of Squares, just like the guys who own my legal rights!
=== Sally Acorn: ===
THAT'S IT, ENOUGH! I've been upstaged enough times for one life,
So don't you think I'll let this slide; I'd sooner be a monkey's wife,
Because I came here for a grudge match, not a battle royale,
But now, you leave me with no choice. Hey, you asked for this, pal:
=== Sonic the Hedgehog: ===
It's my world, when I come and step it up into the zone;
Chaotic raps! Like this was Camelot, I'm stealing the throne!
Throw you for a Shuttle Loop with that mad Spin Dash.
YOU'RE TOO SLOW for me to fight; yo, let me battle the Flash!
Score that S–Rank with flying Colors when I Unleash my rhymes,
With 700 rings in hand, and I'll Crush you 40 times!
I can't promise that you'll Live, but you're sure as Iblis Learn
Just What I'm Made Of, when I give you all wack friction burns!
=== Sally Acorn: ===
What? No! Hey, you – announcer voice up above,
That's the modern Sega Sonic, not the one I know and love;
Get my real boyfriend in here so we can properly win this!
=== Announcer: ===
WELL, SALLY, IS THERE EVEN REALLY THAT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE?
=== Sally Acorn: ===
For the love of Furry–Jesus, yes it does, dude! Yes!
=== Announcer: ===
GEE, WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, EXCUSE ME, PRINCESS!
=== Sally Acorn: ===
Look, I don't want to argue; just make this whole mess right:
Bring in the character as played on TV by Jaleel White!
=== Announcer: ===
AS THE JOKER WOULD SAY, SALLY, VERY POOR CHOICE OF WORDS:
I'M GONNA EXPLOIT THE HELL OUT OF WHAT FROM YOU I JUST HEARD!
=== Sonic the Hedgehog: ===
(Has been continuing to rap during the above exchange, seeming oblivious to it and his lines in the background audible only as "blah blah blah", etc.)
…Cracked so many eggs, I could live on omelet– GAAAAHHH!
(*Is suddenly impaled from behind by an offscreen assailant, and then explodes for no reason. The screen goes dark.*)
..................
..................
..................Hehehe… Did I do that?
=== Steve Urkel: ===
Heidi–ho, it's me, Steve, but this ain't Blue's Clues;
No, it's the Urk–Man in this Full House, giving y'all the Urkel Blues!
Always the life of the party when I get down and dance;
Total pro at stealing shows, so hold on to your pants,
'Cause I'll be wearing you down until you fall and can't get up.
Being me is pretty hard work, but Thank God I'm Fly enough!
I'm a breakout when I break loose on the television set,
And I'll break you Perfect Strangers without breaking a sweat.
Yeah, screw Family: I'm what Matters! I'm the ultimate geek.
When I show up on the scene, just watch those rating start to peak!
This grumpy little doll seems to think he's so medieval,
But wait and see how tough he is once he meets up with Stevil.
Rock here may have a franchise, but that'll give him no advantage
When I bankrupt Capcom's whole business from property damage!
This other 'bot's the fruit of some guy trying to clone his dead son,
But I can make real clones; just go and ask Stephan.
Hey, what's wrong, Sal? You don't look like you should.
Do I make you feel uncomfortable? Aw, that's no good!
Well, I don't need you to be anybody I wanna be,
Literally: swapped genes with folks like Elvis and Bruce Lee.
Besides, there's no way anyone will replace Laura in my heart;
Girl, you're not even Myra, so don't you even start,
Or I'll stalk you home tonight and put an A–bomb in your dinner,
'Cause I'm cooler than the Fonz, so just accept it: I'm the winner!
==Poll==
<poll>
Who won the remaster?
Sally Acorn
Mega Man and Astro Boy
Geno
Annuoncer
Sonic the Hedgehog
Steve Urkel
</poll>
Category:Moleman's Epic Rap Battles
Category:Season 2
Category:Chelsea Kuehl
Category:Molemanninethousand
Category:Paul Bergen
Category:David Ohlsen
Category:Miles
Category:Joseph Sylvers
Category:Stacey Patrone
Category:Carlos Reyis
Category:WrightOnTarget