A Mid-Childhood Night's Dream/Quotes

:Marge: This is a perfect moment. [sobbing]
:Homer: Marge, what's wrong?
:[The bubbles have stopped moving]
:Marge: It... It's slipping away.
:Lisa: You need to stop that.
:Marge: W-What did you say?!
:[Marge notices Bart is floating away in a bubble]
:Marge: Bart!
:Bart: Whee! I'm flying!
:Marge: Ah! [grunts] Bart! Bart! W-What is happening?
:[Bart disappears and a bubble just popped]
:Marge: NO!
----
:Homer: Look, whatever Bart did, we'll pay to have it cleaned or replaced or for its therapy or--
:Ms. Peyton: Bart hasn't done anything. I'm meeting with all the parents. Even the normal kids. Oh! Bart is normal. I-I mean, we don't say normal anymore, I mean-- I-I'm talking to all the parents. You're not special. I-I mean, you are, but--
:Marge: What did you want to talk about?
:Ms. Peyton: As you know, Bounce-A-Thon means we're getting close to the end of the year. So it's a good time to talk about the transition to fifth grade. You know, last year of elementary school and then it's on to middle school and then--
:Marge: Middle school?
:[Rumbling]
:Ms. Peyton: Then everything changes: [the size is getting bigger] Girl, acne, drugs, body odor. Listen, I've taught fifth grade. Please buy your fifth-grader deodorant. Like, real deodorant, not the "natural" stuff. They may look like children, but they smell... like nervous cab-drivers. [back to normal size] The point is: Don't freak out.
:Marge: Okay. About what?
:Ms. Peyton: Well, some parents start thinking, "Oh no. This is the end of my kid's childhood."
:Marge: But fifth grade isn't the end of Bart's childhood, right?
:Ms. Peyton: I mean, technically, it is the last year of it. [chuckles]
:[Marge gasping and then flying off.]
:Homer (as otter): Did you find out what happened to Bart?
:Marge: It's what's going to happen. He's going to grow up.
:Homer (as otter): Mm. Damn kid.
----
:Marge: It was such a strange dream. Bart was four and he was so adorable. I'd almost forgotten there was a time when Bart was the sweet one, and Lisa was the difficult one.
:Lisa: Uh, to be fair... I'm only 18 months old, so to be going through my terrible twos now is actually pretty advanced.
:Marge: Crap, I'm still dreaming!
----
:Homer (as dog): Freeze it right there. Now, watch it again but this time look over... here.
:[Rewinding and play]
:Marge: I'm coming, too.
:Lisa: Yay!
:Bart: [to Marge in normal reality] Aren't you sick? I thought I heard you barfing.
:Lisa: [singing] Mommy's coming yes She is Do, do-do, do, do, my mom. [grunts] Ha!
:Marge: She's rehearsing her thumbs-up.
:[Freezes]
:Marge: Oh. I was so sad that had outgrown the Bounce-A-Thon, I couldn't see that my sweet Lisa still loves it. For now. Next year, she'll probably turn on it, too.
:[Chief Wiggum appear with siren]
:Chief Wiggum: Ma'am, I'm gonna gave to ask you to get out of the dark place, please.
:Marge: You're right. Bounce-A-Thon still means a lot to Lisa. So, what are you-- like, my feelings police?
:Chief Wiggum: No, I'm pretty sure I'm here because, deep down, you're attracted to me. The uniform the low center of gravity, my thick syrupy voice. [chuckles]
:Marge: I don't think so. If anything, I'm into Eddie.
:Chief Wiggum: Yeah, he's a beautiful man. [walks away]
:Marge: I love that Lisa was so happy I was gonna be there. I should be there for her. I've got to get to the Bounce-A-Thon before Lisa's childhood slips away. How can I wake myself up? Oh. Well, this'll do it.
:[Lighting up her fireworks to wake herself up and exploded]
----
:[Marge enters her car]
:Marge: I'll be there, Lisa, I won't miss it.
: [Starts the engine]
:Video Over Radio: Or a pickle and egg sandwich from Joey Mayonnaise's Sandwich Creamery! Where the hospitality is as warm as the mayonnai--
:[Marge is about to throwing up. Pressed a wrong window and vomits]
:Marge: Okay, I ruined the car. But Mommy's s-still coming Lisa.
:(There are the scooters laying around.)
:Marge: Okay, here we go.
:[A scooter doesn't move]
:Marge: Oh, I got to sign up. Okay. Username? Uh, Bounce-Mom. Taken. Fine. Uh, Barf-Mom. Taken? Really? Borf-Mom. What? Oh, come on. Marge. Oh, that worked.
:[A scooter is now moving]
:[Marge is throwing up again, and resume advancing but again]
----
:(At the playground in Springfield Elementary School.)
:Skinner: I promised to wear this, uh, humorous wig for Bounce-A-Thon if we had 30 lice-free days and, uh, well, we had 29, but I'm just going to assume that today is going to go well. And on the bounce track right now, the second grade.
:Marge: [gasps] That's Lisa's class.
:[Skinner couldn't remove his rainbow afro wig]
:Marge: Excuse me, excuse me. Let me through. I'm here to support my child.
:Mrs. Muntz: [to Marge] Yeah, well, guess what, Princess Blue, we're all here to support our kids. So stick that in your G-string and make change.
:Marge: I'm sorry, I'm very sick and I just--
:Mrs. Muntz: Sick? W-What kind of sick?
:Marge: I don't know. Some kind of, um, I don't know, pox or plague.
:[Everyone are stepping back from Marge due to her illness]
:[Marge chuckles]
:[Marge notices smell of food]
:Marge: Oh, no. Food smells. It's okay, I'll just hold my breath. [inhales]
:Marge: Must... get... picture.
:[Marge attempting to take a photo while Lisa is bouncing, but the screen is blurry and then blank out when Marge is unable to breathe and collapses]
----
:Ms. Peyton: Mrs. Simpson?
:[Marge wakes up]
:Marge: D-Did I get the picture?
:[A photo was taken but blurred after Marge passed out]
:Marge: I took a photo after I passed out?
:Ms. Peyton: Yeah, we had to pry the phone from your hand.
:Marge: I've been kind of a wreck since our meeting. You know, when you said Bart's childhood is over?
:Ms. Peyton: I did not say that I would never say that. Bart's childhood isn't over. I did notice that you got very quiet after I mentioned middle school. You didn't say anything else. Except to ask about happy hour at Tuesday O'Fridayhan's.
:Marge: Wait, you didn't say he was heading toward girls and drugs and acne?
:Ms. Peyton: No, of course not.
:Marge: Oh, my gosh, that was a dream. I should have noticed that you were 17 feet tall. I ate bad things last night. You didn't say we had to buy Bart deodorant next year.
:Ms. Peyton: Oh, no, no, no, I did say that. That part is very important. Strong deodorant. Hey, Bart's got a lot of childhood left. I mean, he scores in the 50th percentile for knowing his right and left, which is, oh, not a test score I should have said out loud at a school function. [sighs] Are you going to be okay?
:Marge: Yes. I'm just going to lie here until the school stops spinning... [snores]
----
:(Marge's dream)
:Marge: Ah.
:Homer: Feeling better?
:Marge: Mm-hmm. I missed the picture, but Lisa was so happy to see me today. So, for now, I'm happy.
:Homer: And who knows what the future holds? Bart could knock up his high school girlfriend. You could have grandchildren before Maggie starts kindergarten.
:Marge: Wouldn't that be nice?
:(Inside her bubble.)
:Marge: [sighs] Time to wake up.
:[A bubble is popped]
:(Back to normal reality.)
:[Marge is waking up and back to normal condition]
----
:[Everyone sheering]
:Homer: Here he comes.
:[Maggie sucking]
:Marge: Mm. My funny little guy.
:[Bart grabs a bouncey ball from his head and mooning as he reaches the finish line]
:[Homer takes a photo]
:[Everyone gasping, and Mrs. Vanderbilt collapses]
:Marge: [laughs] That's... That's really good.
:[Both laughing]
:Bart: [panting] Did you get the picture? Was my crack centered?
:Marge: Oh, Bart, it was perfect.
:Bart: You liked it?
:Marge: I loved it.
:Bart: Thanks. Wanna go to the dunk tank? The gym teacher I hate is on the chair.
:Marge: Sure [gasps]
:[Bart chuckles]
:Marge: Let's dunk that sucker.
:[Martin tries to hit a target, but misses and Coach Krupt laughs at him inside Dunk Tank]
:Marge: [sniffs] And on the way home, let's go deodorant shopping.
Category:Quotes
Category:Season 35 quotes