What Kind of Fool Am I? (transcript)

Jim Henson's name and Muppet brand gained national fame and success during the first season of Sesame Street in 1969. In the wake of the show's popularity, Henson began avoiding his usual experimental, commercial work, but continued to bring the Muppets to prime time on various talk and variety shows.
Among his last appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show was on May 31, 1970, a few weeks following the season finale of Sesame Street. This appearance not only features one of the earliest appearances of the defined character of Grover, but also helps set up the Kermit and Grover dynamic that would continue since.
This appearance was omitted from the 2003 release, Muppets Magic from the Ed Sullivan Show, but has since appeared in a series of compilation screenings produced by the Jim Henson Legacy. It was eventually shared on the official The Ed Sullivan Show YouTube channel in 2021. 
 	
Ed Sullivan	Now, in a serious vein, Jim Henson's Muppets singing for the kids, all of you youngsters...are gonna sing Anthony Newley's "What Kind of Fool Am I?"
 	Kermit, dressed in tuxedo, appears beside a baby grand piano.
 	
Kermit 	Thank you, thank you, Mr. Sullivan. Thank you very much. Ray, if you please.
 	Kermit begins to play, backed up by several horns.
Kermit 	
What kind of fool am I?
What do I know of life?
 	Grover passes by in the background.
Kermit 	
It seems that I'm the only one
that I have been thinking of...
 	Grover pops back into frame.
 	
Grover 	HEY, FROGGY!!!
Kermit 	...oh no.
 	Grover rushes up to Kermit and gives him a hard slap on the back. Kermit slinks down.
Kermit 	Ooo!
Grover 	How are you? What you doing, little froggy?
Kermit 	Uh, I am singing a song.
Grover 	Oh, you're singing-he's singing a song. Oh, okay, froggy. I sing too. Me and the frog, sing a song!
Kermit 	Uh, no, no, no.
Grover 	The frog and me sing a song together!
Kermit 	No, no, no.
Grover 	And a one, and a two, and a three...
 	
Kermit 	No, no, no. See, I sing by myself. The frog sings alone.
Grover 	Oh, uh, froggy? Froggy?
Kermit 	Hm?
Grover 	Okay, you sing and I listen. Okay!
 	Grover assumes position and leans his ear toward Kermit, who shrugs.
Kermit 	Okay, Ray, from the top.
Grover 	OKAY, RAY, FROM THE TOP!
 	The music resumes. Kermit plays as Grover sways to the music.
Kermit 	
What kind of fool am I
who never fell in love?
Grover 	(interrupting) Hey, that-that's a nice song.
 	Kermit looks behind to address Grover.
Kermit 	Uh, listen, uh, just ke-keep quiet, huh?
Grover 	Oh, oh, sorry.
Kermit 	Furry dumb dumb.
 	Grover double takes. Kermit resumes playing.
Kermit 	
It seems I'm the only one...
 	Kermit flourishes on some keys. Grover gets a closer look.
 	
Grover 	Ooo, you play good.
 	Kermit grimaces at him. Grover moves away to the far side of the piano. Kermit raises his hands to play.
Grover 	...for a frog.
 	Kermit exhales, exasperated, and continues to play. Grover dances behind the piano.
Kermit 	
What kind of man is this?
An empty shell
A lonely cell in which
an empty heart must dwell
 	Grover steps out in front of the piano and starts singing.
 	
Grover 	
What kind of lips are these
That lied with every kiss?
That whispered empty words of love...
 	Grover stops and notices Kermit, shaking his head in disapproval.
Grover 	Ahem. Sorry.
 	Grover exits and Kermit resumes.
Kermit 	
Why can't I fall in love
like any other man?
And maybe then I'd know
What kind of fool I...
 	Grover reappears, strumming a banjo wildly.
 	
Kermit 	What are you playing that banjo?!
Grover 	I can't hear you, I'm playing the banjo!
Kermit 	STOP IT!
 	Grover stops. Kermit approaches him.
Kermit 	Now, why were you playing the banjo?
Grover 	You told me not to sing.
Kermit 	GET OUTTA HERE!
 	Grover is startled and falls down.
Kermit 	C'mon, Ray! Let's try to do the ending now, huh?
 	Grover rises up.
Kermit 	
What kind of clown am I
 	Grover sniffles and starts walking to the background, crying.
Kermit 	
What do I know of life
Grover 	(sobbing) I'm sorry, froggy.
Kermit 	
Why can't I cast away...
...the...mask of play...
Grover 	(sobbing) OOOH! I'M SO SAD, FROGGY! I'M SORRY! (cries loudly)
 	
Kermit 	Gee, maybe I shoulda let him sing.
Grover 	Huh? Hey, c'mon, guys! He said we could sing!
Kermit 	Oh, wait a second!
 	The music resumes, much more uptempo. Grover rushes toward the piano and strums his banjo. Four other monsters appear as well.
 	
Monsters 	
Why can't I fall in love
like any other man?
And maybe then I'd know
What kind of fool I AAMMM!
Monster 	Ooo, that's good!
 	Kermit grimaces, trying to cut between the monsters, who congratulate themselves.
__NOWYSIWYG__
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