Church Bulletin Bloopers

• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
• The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
• Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
• The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
• The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
• Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
• During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
• The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
• Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
• The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
• A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
• Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
Category:Language Humor
Category:Religious Humor