Device of 50

Device of 50 was a sentient Clockwork who lived in a £504,240/month flat in the Upper South East of London. She was the inventor of the London-Limpcockpool Lottery, which was Grand. 
== Family Lineage ==
Device of 50 was birthed to her father, a rock, named Bong Kong Babbledong in 203 BB, as our sources have ascertained, to the best of their ability. Her father's mother, Kong, of course, was her father's namesake, hence her father's middle name being Kong. Her father's great grandfather, Bong, was of course, a piece of Venetian Charcoal, or Obsidian. Unfortunately, Official Records dispute whether Device of 50's Father's Great-Grandfather's Father was in fact a piece of Coal, or a piece of Charcoal; further complicating the situation is the element of Device of 50's Father's Great-Grandfather's Mother, who herself identified more with the Obsidian struggle. However, she was alleged to have been only half-Obisidian; the truth of her Obsidianity was greatly disputed among scholars, especially in Limpdickpool, where famed historian Macguffry Hufflesnort McToothrot reportedly commented on the subject of Device of 50's family lineage as follows; "The Father's Great-Grandfather's Mother is an element of great dispute; in fact, many reports differ on the true nature of her geosity. My dear friend Bogglewort, of Sussex, said on the matter, "She very likely may not have been a piece of Obsidian at all; she may have been of Charcoalite nature; or, perhaps, of Jade Quartz. As we have no terrestrial records of her life or geosity, we find it difficult to ascertain the true nature of the great-great-great grandmother. This of course calls into question the legitamacy of the geosity of it all; in fact, many scholars dispute whether Bong Kong Babbledong's mother was even a rock; let alone the great-grandmother. If, in fact, the grandmother was not a rock, then all of this argument must be thrown away; for if Device of 50's paternal grandmother was indeed human, Khajiit, or otherwise, it would be mandated, under House Of Lords Peasantry Statute 402B, that she be put to death. Reads the Statute; "If, in any case, a British Man or Woman is found to have ancestry pure of human, or pure of rock, then he or she shall be permitted to live freely. However, if, in fact, it is discovered that, in the specific instance of the Paternal Grandmother, or, in fact, the Maternal Grandfather, for that matter, are of either opposite; Rock or Human, then the ensuing children or grandchildren must be stoned and put to death in the town square." The law is clear; Device of 50, if her ancestry is determined to have been, in fact, of this forbidden nature, would thus become a fugitive of the Kingdom and forced to flee the country." While Professor Bogglewort's statements, are, at the very least, thought provoking, the credibility of it all would invariably be called into question by his mention of the race of 'Khajiit', with whom he harbors a peculiar, unseemly fascination; some might even call it a fetishization. Professor Bogglewort himself was a frequent visitor to the Khajiit Kitty Club On Main and Dover, and, in fact, was spotted on several occassions entering a Taxi Buggy alongside one or two furry feline companions. This on its own does not warrant suspicion; but, in fact, it is the statements of the Khajiit partners Bogglewort chose which damn his credibility for all eternity. Unjairra Zahdawihn, an eldely Khajiit female, reportedly said the following on Professor Bogglewort; "He exemplified an extraordinary vigor for the art of love-making; and yet, he also had, much to both my chagrin, and, I suspect, his own, a miniscule phallus". This observation by the late Unjairra was backed up by another partner, this one a male, who reportedly, allegedly, said the following on Professor Bogglewort: "It was like nothing was there." Further, Bogglewort's credibility was all but destroyed after an unfortunate mishap with his suspenders whilst onstage at the 43rd Annual Limpcockpool Condom Expo. After this, he was publicly ridiculed for decades, and, in fact, rather, for an eternity, as a carving of him, nude, alongside his incredibly small penis, is present inside a hidden storage closet in the bowels of Big Ben himself. With all of that out of the way, we have, of course, clearly established that Bogglewort himself, and to a larger extent, his 'scientific' claims and 'discoveries', should be taken with not one, but zero grains of salt." These comments by Historian Macguffry Hufflesnort McToothrot veered totally off course, and were largely irrelevant and ilhelpful in our quest to gather more information on the nature of the maiden Device of 50. 
All of this research was deemed irrelevant when it was discovered that Device of 50's father had not, in fact, been a rock at all, and was in fact 100% human. Of course, that doesn't account for the true nature of Device of 50's mother, who's identity was never discovered, nor revealed. Although, many historians claimed that her DNA bore a striking similarity of that of Keith Cumshoes; it was speculated that Device of 50's mother may have, in fact, been the mother of Alduin and Keith, 6. One piece of supporting evidence to back up this claim is the presence of numbers in the names of both women; those being '6' in the case of 6 and '50' in the case of Device of 50. 
Category:Characters