Looney Tunes: Back in Action/Transcript

(The scene starts in the forest as it shows Elmer Fudd sneaking out to find a rabbit and shushes to the audience.)
Elmer Fudd: Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits. (laughs)
(The scene changes to show Daffy Duck hammering a rabbit sign to avoid getting blasted by Elmer.)
Daffy Duck: I am a duck; bent on self-preservationum-unum.
(Bugs arrives into the scene & fixes the rabbit sign, catching Elmer's attention. He points his gun at the rabbit, while Daffy smiles smugly at the sight.)
Elmer Fudd: (while pointing his shotgun at Bugs Bunny) Say your pwayers, wabbit. It's wabbit season.
Bugs Bunny: Duck season.
Daffy Duck: Wabbit season!
Bugs Bunny: Duck season.
Daffy Duck: Wabbit season!
Bugs Bunny: Wabbit season.
Daffy Duck: Duck season! Fire! (Elmer blasts Daffy's beak, moving it backwards, as the duck can only grin sarcastically at Bugs as a montage follows, featuring Elmer shooting Daffy while Bugs does a set of trick during the montage; first holding a dart circle where Daffy's beak lands, & as a bullfighter, wherein Daffy's beak flies past the cape) Fire! (Daffy gets blasted and his beak lands on a tree bark, leading to yet another montage of being shot at by Elmer) Hold everything! (the scene cuts to a boardroom where Daffy reviews the script) "Daffy gets blasted." Mm-hmm. (flips through the script) Page 7: "Daffy gets blasted." (laughs sarcastically as he flips through the script again) Page 8: "Daffy gets blasted"... (puts down the script in anger) AGAIN?! What's the matter with you people? We can't do this kind of stuff anymore! Brothers Warner... show biz legends like me shouldn't have to play stooge... to that long-eared, carrot-chomping, OVERBITE-CHALLENGED-
(The scene switches to Bugs Bunny eating a carrot.)
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, doc? (Daffy reacts shockingly & scowls at Bugs while the executives are happy to see him) Hey, Bobby, how's the wife? (2 ladies prepare Bugs' seat) Great nose job, Chuck. Oh, thanks, girls. Good rug, Mel. Never would have guessed. (the ladies move Bugs' seat near Daffy's) Pardon me.
Daffy Duck: (while moving Bugs' seat almost away from the table) The pleasure is mine.
Bugs Bunny: Fellas, I think Daff's right. Maybe I'll take a vacation. (opening his wallet that shows his list of pictures featuring his nieces and nephews) Go visit my 542 nieces and nephews.
Kate Houghton: Mr. Duck, excuse me, I'm sorry. I don't see how we can have a Bugs Bunny movie without Bugs Bunny.
Daffy Duck: (he gets up off his seat and walks on the table) Oh, my heavens, no. You couldn't have a movie without Bugs Bunny! If you don't mind me asking, whose glorified personal assistant are you?
Kate Houghton: (shakes hand with Daffy) Kate Houghton, Vice President, Comedy.
Daffy Duck: Right. (he notices his hand is frozen after the handshake)
Warner Brother #1: Kate did Lethal Weapon Babies. Finally, a Lethal Weapon that I can take my grandchildren to.
Kate Houghton: Gentlemen, check your phones. (everybody prepares their notophones, except for the Warner Bros. think she is referring to their telephones, so some ladies give them their notophones) Our latest research shows that Bugs Bunny is a core asset that appeals to male and female, young and old throughout the universe... (it shows Bugs' high ratings and changes to Daffy's rating which lowers) while your fan base is limited to angry fat guys in basements.
Daffy Duck: Yeah, but... Come on, fellas, I'm thrice the entertainer the rabbit is!
(Bugs chomps on a carrot and burps, making everyone laugh.)
Daffy Duck: Fine, it's hilarious... but, moviegoers these days demand action heroes, like me! (Daffy starts performing karate moves on the table, messing it up and twisting himself in the process) Top that, rabbit. (Bugs taps Daffy with his foot and makes him drop his eyes, leaving Daffy blind as they laugh; he grabs his eyes and confronts the Warner Bros.) So, it has come to this, has it? I'm afraid the Brothers Warner must choose... between a handsome matinee idol... or this miscreant perpetrator of low burlesque.
(Bugs Bunny is seen wearing a mustache with glasses and a spinning bow tie, making everybody laugh again.)
Warner Brother #2: Whichever one's not the duck.
(Daffy reacts shockingly to Warner Brothers' choice. A person returns Daffy's things from his former office.)
Daffy Duck: Hey, that's the stuff from my office.
Warner Brother #1: You don't have an office. Not anymore.
Daffy Duck: Symbolically, this is bad. (he pleads to them to get the job) Please, brother. Other brother? (he hugs Kate Houghton) Icy she-wolf? Help me, please. I'm too moist and tender to retire.
(Kate Houghton grabs and pulls Daffy away from her.)
Kate Houghton: Let me escort you out.
(Kate Houghton starts carrying Daffy out of the studio.)
Daffy Duck: Wait! I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing, or butt-kissing yet. I'm still begging here!
(Bugs Bunny sighs of disappointment. Next scene shows DJ acting as a police stunt double, showing his badge as he bursts out of a door.)
DJ Drake: Freeze! (he tries to perform his stunt, but ends up falling on the table in pain, gets up and laughs, and finally he ends up falling after walking on the forward part of the table, ending up throwing the salad on the prisoner, infuriating him) Can I try that again?
Director: No. Thank you. We'll call you.
(The man went out of the studio and put on his security guard uniform.)
DJ Drake: Sir.
Head Guard: Hey, DJ. How did your tryout go?
DJ Drake: Well, let's see. I can say I made an impression.
Head Guard: Your father can get you a job anytime he wants to.
DJ Drake: I know, but I don't want that. I'd really rather earn it, sir.
Head Guard: Mr. Warner mentioned you this morning.
DJ Drake: He did? What did he say?
Head Guard: He said don't forget the TurtleWax. (shows the TurtleWax)
(DJ uses the TurtleWax to wax a red car, while Kate was dragging Daffy Duck off the company studio despite his protests.)
Daffy Duck: What about animation? I could do cartoons.
Bugs Bunny: Dead duck walking.
DJ Drake: Morning, Mr. Bunny.
Daffy Duck: Very hot now. And I do voices. Listen.
Kate Houghton: Excuse me.
Daffy Duck: "Fetch the stick, boy." "What a maroon." "You can't handle the truth." Some grip, lady.
Kate Houghton: I need you to eject this duck.
DJ Drake: Lady, this is Daffy Duck.
Daffy Duck: Exactly.
Kate Houghton: Not anymore. We own the name.
Daffy Duck: Yeah? You can't stop me from calling myself... (struggles to spit it out) What do you know?
DJ Drake: You fired Daffy Duck?
Kate Houghton: No, I didn't. I did. They did.
DJ Drake: You just were following orders.
(Then Bugs Bunny taps Daffy, pulls his hand and inserts his own on Kate's grasp, allowing him to escape.)
Kate Houghton: You know what? You don't know me.
DJ Drake: You're Kate Houghton, you're the VP of Comedy. Go figure. You drive a red 1988 Alfa Romeo. Good engine. Little under-driven. I know this because you nearly ran me over last week. Anyway, about that duck, you want me to get rid of him still?
Kate Houghton: Duck, yes. Eject the duck, please.
DJ Drake: I can't do that.
Kate Houghton: Why not?
DJ Drake: He's gone.
(Kate looks to Bugs, who pretends nothing happened and so does DJ.)
Kate Houghton: Well, what are you waiting for, backup?
(DJ laughs at what Kate said and goes to find Daffy.)
DJ Drake: Daffy!
Girl: Look mommy, there's Daffy!
(Daffy Duck appears into scene, next to DJ.)
Daffy Duck: Shabby job so far, constable. (elbows DJ, and then tickles his head) Quick! After me! (speeds away)
Tour Guide: Folks, if you look to your left you'll see Daffy Duck being removed by the lines again.
DJ Drake: (to Daffy) Oh, now you're gonna pay for that one. Come here!
(D.J. chases Daffy throughout the movie studio.)
Daffy Duck: Woo-hoo!
DJ Drake: Come here!
Daffy Duck: Dress Inspector!
(He ducks himself on a lady's dress and wears the lady's underwear and removes it later.)
DJ Drake: Look out!
Daffy Duck: One side, Spartacuses. (goes through the Spartacuses and DJ goes in front of them, shakes his rump behind a golf cart, then enters an ancient Roman vase as the smoke cloud he leaves continues shaking his rump behind the cart until it fades; he eventually gets out) Come on, come on!
DJ Drake: Daffy, stop!
(He zig-zags through other people and golf cars.)
Daffy Duck: Cut him off at the pass, boys. Woo-hoo! All units in pursuit of little black duck. (he walks to a scenario) Hoo-hoo! (as DJ follows him, he rips a hole in the background, as Daffy runs back & notices the hole) Well, that's just cheating! (notices DJ break out of another part of the scenario) Woo-hoo!
DJ Drake: Daffy! (next scene shows a man creating an autumn environment as Daffy zips by) Come here!
Daffy Duck: (singing) Autumn in fake New York~! (Daffy enters a house and DJ chases him) Woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo! (he goes upstairs and opens a door) Don't follow me! (zips away)
(Then as DJ follows Daffy, he ends up falling off a prop building, screaming.)
Director: That's not right. Cut. Cut!
(And DJ falls on the airbag, with the scene cutting to Daffy disguised as a cinematographer with a megaphone.)
Daffy Duck: That's lunch, everybody!
Director: That airbag cost a lot of money.
DJ Drake: I'm okay. Good morning. (turns to Batman) Batman, you good? All right.
Daffy Duck: (runs to the Batmobile) My chariot awaits! (jumps in the Batmobile) Yes! (looks around the controls) Bat-lights. Bat-conditioning. (he turns on the bat-conditioning) Bat-stereo. (then he turns on the Batmobile and music plays) To the Duck Cave.
(DJ sees Daffy about to make off the Batmobile.)
Director: Now what are you doing?
DJ Drake: Hey! Stay away from that Batmobile! Come here! (he pulls Daffy out of the Batmobile)
Daffy Duck: I'm allowed to steal, I'm a celebrity!
DJ Drake: Tell it to the judge!
(Then suddenly since Daffy turned on the Batmobile, it starts driving itself.)
Daffy Duck: Feeling pretty good about yourself?
DJ Drake: I am.
(The Batmobile starts going in higher speed, and people see that the Batmobile is driving towards a column of the water tower.)
Daffy Duck: You bested that dastardly duck?
DJ Drake: I did.
(The Batmobile keeps driving at that column and people are running away.)
Daffy Duck: And now you're gonna offer your catch to the pretty executive?
DJ Drake: Indeed.
(The Batmobile destroys a column of the Warner Bros. watertower.)
DJ Drake: Miss Houghton!
(DJ smilingly shows that he captured Daffy. But Kate and Bugs are surprisingly looking how the watertower is falling. Daffy looks back, but instead gives a smiling look, with thumbs up.)
Person: Get out of the way!
(Then the structures of the watertower are disassembling themselves and it starts to fall down. Bugs prepares a small umbrella.)
Person: Look out!
(And the watertower finally falls down causing a huge splash of water that fills Kate's car. Kate spits water from her mouth. Bugs Bunny is on a boat and fishes an orange fish.)
Bugs Bunny: What do you know? I found Nemo.
(DJ emerges from the mess, with Daffy still in his clutches. Kate glares at DJ.)
Daffy Duck: I think she likes you.
(DJ tries to say something as Daffy waves goodbye at Kate.)
DJ Drake: Oops!
(Next scene, the head guard removes the Warner Bros. stickers from DJ's former uniform, and takes his badge.)
Head Guard: Your father would be so ashamed of you.
(The head guard asks for DJ to take off his former uniform and DJ gives it to the head guard and walks away.)
DJ Drake: But I was... it was...
(Then the gates close. Cut to a studio café, where we see Porky and Speedy discussing some issues.)
Porky Pig: At first, they told me to lose the stutter. Now they tell me I'm not funny! It's a pain in the butt being... (stutters) ...politically correct.
Speedy Gonzalez: You're telling me.
(Pan right to another table, where Shaggy is berating Matthew Lillard for his performance in the live-action Scooby-Doo movie. Scooby-Doo is sitting by.)
Shaggy Rogers: What kind of performance do you call that? You made me sound like a total space cadet, man.
Matthew Lillard: I'm sorry you feel that way. I was trying to be real to your character.
Shaggy Rogers: If you, like, goof on me in the sequel, I'm coming after you.
Scooby-Doo: Yeah. And I'll give you a Scooby Snack! (growls and bares his teeth)
(Pan right to the third table, where Kate talks to Bugs.)
Kate Houghton: There are some areas of the script I think we need to address. There's no heart, no cooperation, nobody learns anything.
Bugs Bunny: Daffy learns not to stick his head in a jet engine.
Kate Houghton: He's gone.
Bugs Bunny: Nah, Daffy always comes back. I just tell him how much I need him. We hug, we cry, I drop something heavy on him, I laugh.
Kate Houghton: The duck is history, okay? So the question is... how can I help you reposition your brand identity? Answer: We team you up with a hot female co-star.
Bugs Bunny: Usually... (dresses himself as a lady, puts a blonde wig and lipstick) I play the female love interest.
Michigan J. Frog: Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey!
Kate Houghton: Okay. About the cross-dressing thing? In the past, funny. Today, disturbing.
(Bugs changes back into his normal lack of clothing, with some lipstick still on which he wipes off.)
Bugs Bunny: Honey, if you can't find a rabbit with lipstick amusing, you and I have nothing to say to each other.
Kate Houghton: Look, I'm trying to be nice... but I was brought in to leverage your synergy, and I am not going to let you or some wacky duck-
Bugs Bunny: Daffy.
Kate Houghton: Wacky, daffy, nutty, fruitcake, crispy over rice, it doesn't matter.
Bugs Bunny: Well, these (brings in his trophies) matter. And... this! (lifts up his Hollywood Walk of Fame spot) And they say we get Daffy back. Right, boys?
Trophies: We want Daffy! Bring him back! We love Daffy!
(Cut to DJ arriving at his father's house.)
Granny: Little Damian.
DJ Drake: Hey, Granny. Hi, Tweety.
Tweety: How was work today?
(Sylvester looks at Tweety.)
DJ Drake: Eventful.
Granny: What a nice young man.
(As Sylvester tries to grab Tweety, Granny, without realizing, ends up cutting Sylvester's tail that made him scream painfully and jump. Next scene shows Damian Drake's painting as the scene moves to DJ walking on his house. Somehow Daffy comes out of DJ's backpack.)
Daffy Duck: Guess who? So did you miss me?
(Daffy kisses DJ in the cheek.)
DJ Drake: Hey, how did you-?
Daffy Duck: I'm glad I was fired. In a few days, they'll be kissing my befeathered rump... begging me to come back. But I won't.
DJ Drake: Did I just miss the whole part where I invited you in?
Daffy Duck: I'll be too busy accepting numerous, multiple offers. Every studio in town will... (he reacts as he sees a newspaper) Hey! (Daffy looks at the newspaper that says "Duck Plucked: Idiot duck destroys studio.", in shock) Who am I kidding? My career is over.
DJ Drake: Perhaps I was being too polite. GET OUT!
Daffy Duck: I'll starve! I'll have to eat envelope glue. Wait, a sushi bar! Yum yum!
(He runs to DJ's aquarium and grabs a fish to eat.)
DJ Drake: No no no no no! (he grabs Daffy's neck and opens Daffy's mouth to get his fish out and puts it back in the aquarium) Daffy.
Daffy Duck: Yes. (chokes)
DJ Drake: Leave my father's house. Now.
(DJ presses Daffy's head like a can as he walks away, until he gets his body to normal and prepares to play piano, but only to ask DJ.)
Daffy Duck: You live with Daddy?
DJ Drake: Yeah, so? Just, you know, kind of temporarily.
Daffy Duck: I've hit rock bottom. I'm hanging out with a security guard who lives with his father. (cries then notices some posters on the wall) My grease and gravy! Your dad is Damian Drake. The super spy.
DJ Drake: He's an actor who plays a spy. (Daffy touches Damian's I Spy magnifying glass, as it falls down to the ground and the glass breaks) And that? That was his I Spy Award.
Daffy Duck: Ingenious. An actor playing a super spy as a cover for being a super spy playing an actor. In fact, I'll bet this whole dump is a super spy lair. Nothing is as it seems. You know, you're probably protected by an invisible force field right this minute. (hits DJ with an apple) Aha! The force field-penetrating apple.
DJ Drake: Just feel free to continue your delusional ranting... while I answer my... remote? 
(The TV remote is beeping. DJ picks it up and holds it to his ear like a phone.)
DJ Drake: Hello?
(DJ clicks a button on the remote, which triggers a projector popping out of the couch, then the painting on the wall pulls away to reveal live footage of Damian.)
Damian Drake: Son?
DJ Drake: Dad? What are you doing in the painting?
Damian Drake: I wanted to keep you out of this, but there's no one else I can trust.
Guard: Stop him!
Damian Drake: Can you hold on a second? (fights off the guards)''
DJ Drake: Are you shooting a movie or something?
Daffy Duck: A new Damian Drake movie? Cool.
Damian Drake: Come to Las Vegas. Ask Dusty Tails for the Blue Monkey.
DJ Drake: The Blue Monkey? What's a Blue Monkey?
Damian Drake: A diamond. A very special diamond. Find Dusty Tails.
DJ Drake: Dad, you need me to call the police or something?
Damian Drake: (throws grenade at henchmen) No. No police.
DJ Drake: Dad, are you all right?
Damian Drake: I'm sorry I never told you this before, but I...
(They lose the signal and the painting comes back down.)
DJ Drake: Dad?
Daffy Duck: Diamond? I'm rich! (Daffy gets dollar signs in his eye, then his head morphs into a money bag with opens and spills diamonds leaving him headless, and his head pops back) I've joined the leisure class.
DJ Drake: I gotta go save my dad.
Daffy Duck: Your dad, yeah. So count me in! A spy caper. Double agents, exploding bikinis, tigers hanging from helicopters! I'm through with show biz! From now on, I'm gonna live the adventure. Next stop, Las Vegas!
DJ Drake: I'll take my dad's old car.
Daffy Duck: A super spy car. Let's ride.
DJ Drake: This isn't a spy car.
Daffy Duck: Your dad is a spy. Ipso ergo, a spy car.
(The car the heroes are taking is a Gremlin car. They get in as a snippet of the Gremlins theme plays.)
DJ Drake: I used to deliver pizzas in this car.
Daffy Duck: Secret pizzas? (DJ grabs Daffy by the neck and throws him out of the car) A spy pie, maybe? Fine, be that way. But it's definitely a- (voice pitch rises as his beak gets stuck on the windshield) spy car! A little help here?
(DJ punches Daffy off the windshield closed on his beak.)
DJ Drake: Ducks.
(DJ drives the car out of the garage, but as he stops, Daffy appears behind him.)
Daffy Duck: You know how I know it's a spy car? Because it looks ab-ssss-solutely nothing like a spy car.
(DJ knocks Daffy out. As soon as they leave the garage, the car platform flips to reveal a silver car, as the scene cuts back to a theater.)
Bugs Bunny: I don't think this routine is gonna work without Daffy, but...
Filmmaker: Action.
Elmer Fudd: (pointing his gun at Bugs Bunny) Say your pwayers, wabbit. It's wabbit season.
Bugs Bunny: Duck season.
Elmer Fudd: Wabbit season.
Bugs Bunny: Duck season.
Elmer Fudd: Wabbit season.
Bugs Bunny: Wabbit season.
(Elmer realizes he forgot to memorize the script.)
Elmer Fudd: Wait a minute. (he reviews the script)
Bugs Bunny: See, I told you this wasn't gonna work without- (gets shot by Elmer as the scene reveals him watching the blooper in casts) Oh, pain. Oh, agony~!
Warner Brother #2: You're fired.
Kate Houghton: What? But you-
Warner Brother #1: You got rid of our best duck.
Kate Houghton: You can't fire me. My films have made $950 million!
Warner Brother #2: It's not a billion.
Warner Brother #1: Nope. Not a billion. 
Kate Houghton: Okay. All right. I think we can all agree that the decision to get rid of Daffy was a poor one. But it's time to move on. And by move on, I mean reversing course and getting Daffy back.
Warner Brothers: By Monday.
Kate Houghton: I will have Daffy back on Monday.
Bugs Bunny: That went well. Listen, doll face, if I know Daffy, he's already hit the road by now.
(The next scene shows Daffy getting thrown off the car by DJ as he crosses his arms. Then somehow, he comes back from the glove compartment and stretches.)
Daffy Duck: It's good to stretch.
DJ Drake: You know, I'm getting tired of throwing you out of the car.
Daffy Duck: That's my plan in a nutshell. Now, listen, if we run into anything that requires super spy skills... like cracking wise, smooching dames, you better leave that to me. However, if we have any security guarding needs...
DJ Drake: Very funny, duck. I'm not a security guard. For your information, it's just a job. It's what I do for money. What I really do is... I'm a stuntman.
Daffy Duck: You? A stuntman? Please.
DJ Drake: I am! Did you see those Mummy movies? I'm in them more than Brendan Fraser is. No, he couldn't stand that. One day he decides that, "No! The Bren-master does all his own stunts!"
Daffy Duck: Listen, muscles, if this heap ever makes it to Vegas, I'll do all the stunts. (Daffy's phone rings and he answers it) Duck here.
Bugs Bunny: (on phone) Daffy, old chum, how the heck-
Daffy Duck: (on phone) Cram it down your rabbit hole.
Bugs Bunny: (on phone) I think I can get you your old job back with less of a pay cut than usual.
Daffy Duck: (on phone) So not interested. I'm off to Las Vegas with my new sidekick D.J... to match wits with spies and showgirls. It's a little adventure I call: "Daffy Duck's Quest for the Blue Monkey". And you're not in it.
Bugs Bunny: Blue Monkey?
(From the ACME company, Bob Smith watches the footage of Daffy explaining about the Blue Monkey. He enters the main meeting room, where the Chairman is in.)
Mr. Chairman: This is unacceptable! We cannot have 9-year-olds working in sweatshops making Acme sneakers... not when 3-year-olds work for so much less.
ACME VP, Child Labor: (presses buzzer) But, sir, they require naps.
Mr. Chairman: Put double espresso in their sippy cups. What's next on the agenda? Where's my people? What's coming up? What's the next thing? (Bob whispers in the Chairman's ear) Thank you, Bob. Grave news, my friends. Direct your attention to the video screen. (fiddles with the remote control) Cable, input, VCR, satellite. Input, satellite, tape, menu, rewind... power, on. (the footage shows DJ's car on the road, with Daffy sticking his head out)
Mr. Chairman: Well...
Daffy Duck: Woo-hoo!
Mr. Chairman: It seems that Damian Drake's son knows about the Blue Monkey... and he is on his way to Las Vegas. He must not find the location of the diamond before we do. (switches TV to the interrogation room, with Damian Drake fighting off some interrogators) How is the interrogation going?
Henchman: (on screen) He's about ready to crack, boss! (gets kicked by Damian)
Mr. Chairman: Cable, input, VCR and satellite, off. (turns off TV) We cannot let the good guys win this time, people. We must capture this... son of a spy... and we must locate the diamond... and use its powers for our own diabolical ends! (laughs evilly) Copy that to all departments.
Mary: I didn't quite get that.
Mr. Chairman: Didn't quite... Something about capturing the son of a spy... and using the diamond's power for our diabolical ends. Be sure and use the laugh. I like the laugh. Don't you? And what is your name?
Mary: Mary.
Mr. Chairman: Well, Mary... how'd you like to do a little kissing later? That's what they all say at first. Soon the ACME Corporation will tower over all of creation! 
ACME VPs: All of creation!
(They all laugh as the camera zooms out of the building.)
Mr. Chairman: ACME!
ACME VPs: ACME!
Mr. Chairman: ACME!
ACME VPs: ACME!
(They all laugh again, but the music stops as a button is heard being pressed.)
ACME VP, Rhetorical Questions: Wait a minute.
(The camera zooms back inside the meeting room.)
Mr. Chairman: Yes?
ACME VP, Rhetorical Questions: What about the duck?
Mr. Chairman: (walks to him) Extra crispy.
(Cut to Kate in DJ's house.)
Kate Houghton: Hello? (knocks on door and opens) Hello? (she takes off her sunglasses and knocks again and then she explores his house) Hello? D.J? I'm not here to fire you again. I just want to know if that duck told you where he was going.
(Then she enters the bathroom as the shower was heard in it. After that a shadow appears, but it's Kate opening the shower curtains. Then Bugs Bunny screams like Marion from Psycho movie and Kate looks at him, Bugs keeps screaming as Kate looks serious, and then Bugs reaches and grabs a shower curtain, pulls it off and it disassembles as he passes out by falling on the shower side. Then Bugs pours chocolate sauce pretending that it's blood and it falls to the shower hole. As Bugs is seen faking death as he talks to her.)
Bugs Bunny: Doesn't anyone knock anymore? 
Kate Houghton: Why are you torturing me? What have I ever done that...
(After she looks at one of Damian Drake's posters, and his photos with DJ, she recognizes her mistake.)
Kate Houghton: Great. I just fired the son of our biggest star. This has been a career-making day, Kate. First you get rid of the duck that everybody hates... but then, of course, they all want him back. (beginning to cry) And worst of all, you get into a big fight with Bugs Bunny... who you revere and who you've tried to model your life after.
(As she is moping, Bugs is next to her, inside of a knight armor.)
Bugs Bunny: Oh, I hate to see a grown man cry. Especially when it's a girl. Listen, toots, would it stop the waterworks if I told you Daffy was going to Las Vegas with that guy DJ?
Kate Houghton: It might.
Bugs Bunny: Well, how's about we travel in style in this? (he and Kate get on the spy car) Las Vegas, Jeeves.
Spy Car GPS: Taking you to Las Vegas.
(The car drives off, shedding Sylvester of his fur as he tries to catch Tweety. The scene cuts to a road in the desert. Bugs is singing Viva Las Vegas, but Kate, irritated, throws his guitar on the road.)
Bugs Bunny: You've got no music in your soul, sister.
Kate Houghton: I am aware of that, yes.
Bugs Bunny: He sure went for all the extras. What a maroon.
Kate Houghton: Don't touch anything. This is Damian Drake's car-
Bugs Bunny: Let's see. (presses a missile launcher button)
Kate Houghton: No, no!
(The missile exits through the rear of the car as they see an explosion behind them.)
Bugs Bunny: What does this one do? (pressed a button that serves him a carrot in a glass water)
Spy Car GPS: Shaken, not stirred, sir.
Bugs Bunny: (grabs the drink) It's 5:00 somewhere.
Kate Houghton: If you touch one more thing--
Bugs Bunny: Shh. I'm about to defy you. (is about to press a button, but Kate presses it before him) Now you done it.
Spy Car GPS: Arms at your side, please. Formalwear activated.
(Kate screams as the car changes her clothes. Soon, she is dressed in a pretty pink dress while Bugs is put in a tuxedo. Their eyes widened in surprise.)
Bugs Bunny: You clean up nice, kid.
Kate Houghton: No!
(Viva Las Vegas plays as the scene transitions to DJ and Daffy in Las Vegas.)
Daffy Duck: Whoo-hoo! Las Vegas! (cut to a montage of sights in Las Vegas, which transitions to DJ and Daffy inside the Wooden Nickel casino) Smell that, DJ? That's the sweet aroma of money, glamour... and busload upon busload of senior citizens.
DJ Drake: Cool it, duck. This could be dangerous.
Daffy Duck: Right, we find Dusty Tails, save your dad, get the diamond, apply kung fu liberally as needed. (does some kung fu moves)
(Meanwhile in his office, casino owner Yosemite Sam is with the ACME Chairman on the screen while Mr. Smith stands by.)
Mr. Chairman: Under no circumstances are you to allow the young Mr. Drake and his duck cohort out of the casino in one piece. Is that clear?
Yosemite Sam: Okay. You want the varmints and what they come for. I got you. But what's in it for old Sam? (Mr. Smith shows a huge chest full of golden objects that gave his attention, as he slams the chest cover on Sam repeatedly) I got you.
(Cut back to Daffy and DJ.)
Daffy Duck: Did you know that Dusty Tails sang the theme song to six Damian Drake movies?
DJ Drake: I know. He's my father.
Daffy Duck: Your dad is Damian Drake?
DJ Drake: Yes!
Daffy Duck: I'm kidding, relax. We did that.
Foghorn Leghorn: I say, listen up, y'all. Please put your greasy, buffet-shoveling hands together... for our next act. If you've heard her before, you're not here now. So, I say, let me introduce you... to Miss Dusty Tails.
(As Dusty Tails performs, DJ tries going backstage to talk to her.)
DJ Drake: Dusty! Can I talk to you?
(DJ goes unnoticed, and as he observes some Yosemite Sam dancers, he snatches one of them.)
Yosemite Sam Dancer: What the... Let go of me!
(DJ appears onstage, dancing with a Yosemite Sam mask.)
Daffy Duck: What?
DJ Drake: Dusty, I gotta talk to you. I'm Damian Drake's son, D.J.
Dusty Tails: What? How do I know it's you? (DJ pulls down his mask, winking at Dusty with a flashing grin) Oh. You are Damian's son.
DJ Drake: Is there someplace we can talk?
(Cut to Dusty Tails' changing room.)
Dusty Tails: Excuse me, I have to change.
Daffy Duck: Okay, toots, hand over the diamond.
Dusty Tails: You brought a goose?
Daffy Duck: It's duck, thank you.
DJ Drake: (peeps inside) Hi.
Daffy Duck: You again.
(Cut to Yosemite Sam slapping his goons Nasty Canasta and Cottontail Smith with his hat.)
Yosemite Sam: Listen up, you darn imbeciles! We gotta get them varmints and what they come for!
Cottontail Smith: And then we blast them?
Yosemite Sam: Then we blast them.
(Cut back to Daffy and DJ, the duck searches around the place.)
Daffy Duck: Now if I were a giant diamond, where would I be? (ducks under a table, where his beak is ensnared in a mouse trap) Well, not there.
DJ Drake: So my dad's in trouble...
Daffy Duck: Not here.
DJ Drake: ...and he said that I should ask you about the Blue Monkey.
Dusty Tails: So then you know?
DJ Drake: Definitely. Yes.
Daffy Duck: Nope.
Dusty Tails: I figured something must have happened when he didn't show up. I'm sorry, but that's what comes with being a spy.
DJ Drake: So, you're a spy, too?
Dusty Tails: The pop diva thing? That's just one side of me. I also work for the Agency. Professional assassin. It's really hard trying to juggle the two sometimes. I don't know what I'll do when I have kids. Do you know how hard it is to find a nanny with advance weapons training?
(Dusty Tails was now dressed up in her spy suit.)
Daffy Duck: How many galoshes died to make that little number?
DJ Drake: What about this Blue Monkey?
Dusty Tails: Your father was assigned to track it down before the chairman could. The diamond has supernatural powers. It would be a disaster if it fell into the wrong hands. I was supposed to give him this. (hands DJ a playing card, but Daffy snatches it)
Daffy Duck: This is not a king-sized diamond. This is a queen of diamonds. What kind of sick joke is this?
(Dusty karate-chops Daffy in the neck.)
DJ Drake: Can I have that?
Daffy Duck: Very funny.
Dusty Tails: That is so sweet. You trying to take over for your father. These evil forces? They're bad people.
Daffy Duck: Relax, sister. I don't know the meaning of the word "fear."
(After Daffy Duck opens the door, it shows Yosemite Sam preparing his cannon along with Nasty Canasta and Cottontail Smith.)
Yosemite Sam: Say your prayers, duck!
Daffy Duck: Fear: Noun. A state of terror. (screams terrified)
DJ Drake: Incoming!
(As DJ jumps and saves Dusty Tails from getting shot by a cannon, Daffy Duck closes the door, but unfortunately gets shot by Yosemite Sam's cannon as he flies. In the next scene, there are four ladies preparing themselves for the next act, until the cannonball where Daffy is pushed by it, destroys the door as they wonder what it's doing here and somehow the cannonball returned and stopped just for Daffy to whistle at the ladies that they freaked out. Next scene shows ladies dancing while Daffy was pushed by that cannonball as it sent him to a fire extinguisher where it exploded and caused massive foam and Daffy got stuck.)
Dusty Tails: This mission needs years of experience and training.
DJ Drake: (while holding the playing card) Maybe. I ain't got time for that right now. (Then he runs) I gotta go save my dad.
Dusty Tails: Don't lose that card. It's important.
(Yosemite Sam and his henchmen are ready to pursue DJ and Daffy Duck)
Yosemite Sam: After him, boys!
(Then he ends up tripping on a chair and falls. Dusty Tails gets up and knocks out Nasty Canasta and Cottontail Smith as they passed out. DJ walks on and grabs Daffy to clean him up by rubbing him in the wall.)
Daffy Duck: Easy on the feathers.
Yosemite Sam: Come back here, you card-carrying coyotes!
(He ends up slipping on a banana peel, but then he gets up to shoot it.)
Yosemite Sam: Dadburn slapstick cliché!
Daffy Duck: Faster! Faster! Climb like my life depended on it. (as he runs, he holds himself on DJ's head while DJ climbs and runs.) You run, I'll steer. Right! I mean, left. (He hits a column) Your other left.
DJ Drake: Daffy!
(Cottontail Smith hits DJ with his arm and makes him fall down, and Daffy flies to a golden statue)
Cottontail Smith: That's what I'm talking about, you snake!
(Then he kicks Cottontail Smith and gets up. Daffy hides in fear behind the golden statue.)
Cottontail Smith: Is that all you got?
(DJ punches Cottontail in the face and then elbows him in the stomach, knocking him out.)
Daffy Duck: That's gonna leave a mark.
(Then Nasty Canasta comes and grabs him into the wall.)
Daffy Duck: That's not boxing. Bite his ear!
(DJ manages to free himself from Nasty after punching him. He prepares his Bren-Master skills and fights him. While Daffy cheers for DJ, DJ gets punched, then he punches back, kicks him in the gut and he finally knocks him out.)
Daffy Duck: Left and a right and a left and a right-left!
(Cottontail Smith tries to hit DJ with a chair, but DJ dodges it)
Cottontail Smith: I'm gonna come up on you.
(DJ punches Cottontail Smith twice and makes him fall to a moneybox that scared people. Nasty Canasta gets up and punches DJ that he hit a column bar. Then Nasty grabs DJ)
Nasty Canasta: I'll take that playing card.
(DJ grabs Nasty's arm to prevent him from carrying the playing card. Then after struggling, DJ headbutts Nasty as the playing card flies away. Then DJ was grabbed by Nasty until DJ kneeled him in his groin, knocking him out.)
Daffy Duck: After it, stunt boy.
DJ Drake: Oh, man.
Daffy Duck: Jump! Jump!
(And DJ jumped further, but not further enough to hang on the chandelier, instead he screamed and fell on the bet table where Looney dogs are playing poker, destroying it and making the dogs bark. Then the card flew itself into a card betting machine. DJ and Yosemite Sam rush to the table with Foghorn as the dealer.)
Foghorn Leghorn: All right, when I say, place your bets, gentlemen. Money plays, loser stays. Everyone's a... Not everyone.
Yosemite Sam: Here's my money. (drops a bag of cash) Now play.
Foghorn Leghorn: Card, sir?
DJ Drake: Hit me.
Foghorn Leghorn: Don't you want to look at your card first, son? Boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.
DJ Drake: Hit me.
(Yosemite gives DJ a card.)
Yosemite Sam: No, hit me first!
Foghorn Leghorn: I said await your turn, sir.
DJ Drake: Hit me.
(Yosemite gives DJ more cards as he says "Hit me" again and again.)
Yosemite Sam: No, no no! Hit me, fragnabbit!
(Foghorn hits Sam with a wooden plank.)
Foghorn Leghorn: He's the boss.
Yosemite Sam: You son of a--
Foghorn Leghorn: Card, sir?
DJ Drake: Hit me.
(Finally, Foghorn gives him the Queen of Diamonds.)
Foghorn Leghorn: Twenty-one, a winner!
Daffy Duck: Let's go! "And then they made their heroic escape!" 
(He runs into the door and DJ grabs Daffy as they get out of the casino.)
Daffy Duck: I say we do Cirque du Soleil and call it a night. How about the Liberace Museum? 
(They both get into the Gremlin car.)
Daffy Duck: All right, let's see what this baby can really do.
(D.J. turns on the car, only for it to break down.)
Daffy Duck: Now, that's an interesting feature.
Yosemite Sam: Come back, you absconders! Watch yourself, ma'am. (kisses his rug) I love this rug. Come back here, you varmints!
Daffy Duck: Run. Move. Go. Nice car. Don't hit me.
(Cut to a famous race car driver, Jeff Gordon, speaks with a valet.)
Jeff Gordon: It's a modified Chevrolet with a big 24 on the side.
(The valet parks his race car.)
Yosemite Sam: Out of the way, fancy boy. I'm a-commandeering this here clown car. After them, boys!
(Nasty Canasta and Cottontail Smith both get into the car.)
Cottontail Smith: Shotgun!
(Sam chases after the car before getting in.)
Yosemite Sam: Rag-flagging ragtag sidekicks!
Daffy Duck: Slow down, will you? I'm waddling here.
Yosemite Sam: Come back, you darn idiot galoots!
(Meanwhile, Bugs and Kate are searching around for DJ and Daffy in Las Vegas.)
Kate Houghton: There's gotta be 314 hotels and 142 casinos in Las Vegas. We are never going to find that duck.
(Then Daffy runs into their way as he got hit in the car window.)
Bugs Bunny: Daff never misses a cue.
(DJ appears and pulled Daffy out of the car window, then he threw him into the back seat with Bugs.)
Bugs Bunny: What's up, duck?
Daffy Duck: Don't you start with me.
DJ Drake: Excuse me. (recognizes Kate) You!
Kate Houghton: You.
Daffy Duck: You.
Bugs Bunny: Him.
Daffy Duck: Her.
Both: Them!
Yosemite Sam: Out of my way! (runs into a souvenir stand) Dagnabbit!
(DJ gets into the spy car.)
Kate Houghton: You are in big trouble, mister.
DJ Drake: Agreed!
(DJ starts the car and drives faster to escape from Yosemite Sam and his henchmen. The "Hey Driver" song from Lucky Boys Confusion plays. Yosemite Sam keeps chasing DJ, Kate, Bugs and Daffy. Next scene, Daffy tries to get Bugs Bunny out of the car through the car window.)
Daffy Duck: Out! Out! Out! Out! Out!
Kate Houghton: What are you doing, kidnapping me? Stop the car.
(Then Daffy pushed Bugs away from the car as he managed to hold in a part of the car.)
Daffy Duck: This is my adventure, bub.
Bugs Bunny: Coming through.
DJ Drake: So, what brings you to Las Vegas? You ran out of people to fire in L.A.?
Kate Houghton: You stole my duck.
Daffy Duck: Your duck? Bah, I belong to the world.
DJ Drake: You know what? You can have him.
(Nasty lit a match and used it to light a stick of dynamite.)
Kate Houghton: Dynamite? Who has dynamite?
Daffy Duck: Welcome to my world.
(Nasty laughs evilly.)
DJ Drake: Hang on.
(D.J. drives the car backwards through the traffic without making a dent. Cut back to Yosemite Sam while driving has the dynamite still lit)
Yosemite Sam: Throw it out the window. Throw it out!
Nasty Canasta: But innocent people could be hurt.
Yosemite Sam: Throw it out the window!
Cottontail Smith: It will send the wrong message to children.
Yosemite Sam: Throw it out-
(Then the dynamite explodes on them, and Yosemite Sam grunts in anger. Eventually, as the heroes stop in the middle of the street, the baddies appear in front of them.)
Kate Houghton: Didn't he used to be behind us?
(They drove away from the bad guys. They were about to run into a wall while Bugs and Daffy signed their wills.)
Yosemite Sam: We're having duck tonight, boys.
Bugs Bunny: Just a suggestion, but all those in favor of not hitting that wall say "aye."
Both: Aye!
Daffy Duck: Mother.
Spy Car GPS: Taking you to Mother.
(DJ's spy car enable the rocket propulsors to fly. Yosemite Sam kept driving as they notice, DJ flies on his spy car. Yosemite Sam realizes he's about to hit the wall.)
Yosemite Sam: Uh oh.
(Then they hit the wall, breaking it as the dancers ran because they got scared. After the car landed on the stage, it made Yosemite Sam fly to the electric logo after breaking the car window. Yosemite Sam gets electrocuted by the electric logo sign that sent him to a dangerous dark area where TNT is in that room. Then Yosemite Sam turns on a match just to realize he made a mistake because there are lot of TNT. Then the TNTs exploded around him that they made him fly with his pants on fire and screaming and flying like a shooting star.)
Bugs Bunny: Look, a shooting star. Quick, everybody make a wish.
Daffy Duck: You know, I'm beginning to think that this one is the spy car.
Kate Houghton: What?
(The spy car was flying away from Las Vegas.)
Spy Car GPS: ETA to Mother, 10 minutes.
(Kate looks out the window to see they're flying up above as a plane passes by beneth them.)
Airplane Radio: Please return your seatbacks to their full and upright position.
Kate Houghton: So, what are your plans now, if I may ask?
Bugs Bunny: Daffy will save us. He's the hero.
Daffy Duck: All right, bucktooth. Stick a carrot in it.
DJ Drake: Everybody calm down, all right? I can handle this.
(DJ pulls the lever without realizing that stops the car, & causes it to fall in midair & make everyone inside scream. Bugs keeps screaming until he coughs. He sprays his larynx, then he screams louder as the car continues to fall.)
Daffy Duck: Sell my Warner Brothers stock. I got an inside tip that Bugs Bunny is about to die.
(Just as the car was about to hit the ground, it stops a few feet.)
Bugs Bunny: Out of gas.
(The scene fades out until...)
Kate Houghton: What? It doesn't work like that.
(Back on the scene, the car finally crashes to the ground.)
Bugs Bunny: Thanks, toots.
(Later, the four set up camp in the desert. Bugs roasts a carrot by the campfire and offers it to Daffy.)
Bugs Bunny: Carrot?
Daffy Duck: No, thanks.
(Cut to the humans, DJ stares at the playing card.)
Kate Houghton: You really think that playing card is going to help you rescue your father?
DJ Drake: Yeah, I do.
Kate Houghton: You know this all sounds insane, right? I remember the first time I saw your dad in the movies. So breathtaking.
DJ Drake: Your hair smells nice.
Kate Houghton: You say something?
DJ Drake: No, just saying good night.
(The two humans go to sleep. Cut to Bugs and Daffy.)
Bugs Bunny: I'm telling you, Daffy... I heard the Warner Brothers say you were their best duck.
Daffy Duck: Flattered though I may be, flattened I will not... in order for you to get the laughs. It's all, whoo-hoo, yuk-yuk, & then bam. wham, bam!
Bugs Bunny: And your tail is on fire.
Daffy Duck: Exactly my point. The-
Bugs Bunny: No, really, your tail's on fire.
(Daffy notices his tail is on fire and runs around wildly to put it out.)
Bugs Bunny: Daff, you're accident-prone.
Daffy Duck: Ugh. (puts out the flame) What am I talking to you for? All you have to do is munch on a carrot, and people love you.
(Bugs can only look in pity as the scene cuts to next morning. Kate is talking on the phone.)
Kate Houghton: (on phone) So I need you to move my 12:00 appointment up to 2:00 and then back to 11:00. And then just cancel it. And I need you to get a helicopter and... No, don't put me on hold. (hangs up) Oh, God. I can't die out here. This wasn't the plan. After this comedy, (laughs sarcastically) I promised myself I would only do real movies... about the human condition crammed with social relevance.
(Daffy is sweating while an egg boils on his beak. Bugs is dressed as a cook.)
DJ Drake: There's nothing but a big rock for 10 miles in that, that... that, and that direction. (bets on a coin) I say we go that way.
Daffy Duck: Say, who are you kidding here? We're goners! (gasps as he's dragged while grabbing onto Kate's leg) Water! I can't die now. Think of the millions of children who want me to have the diamond. Oh, the poor children!
(As the group continues trekking through the forsaken desert, DJ notices something in the distance.)
DJ Drake: Look at that!
(They saw a Wal-Mart in the middle of the desert.)
Bugs Bunny: Is it a mirage? Or just product placement?
Daffy Duck: Hey, who cares? With shopping convenience at such low prices. Water, Fresca, Mountain Dew. Your product name here! Woo-hoo-hoo!
DJ Drake: Is this your idea?
Kate Houghton: The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.
(After they were done shopping at Wal-Mart...)
Bugs Bunny: Nice of Wal-Mart to provide these Wal-Mart beverages... in return for us saying "Wal-Mart" so many times.
(The footage is being caught on camera by the ACME corporation as the chairman turns the feed off.)
Mr. Chairman: Where's Yosemite Sam? (Sam appears tied up to the ceiling) Ah, what is your report?
Yosemite Sam: Uh, boss, it wasn't me! That razzan-frazzan duck and that crazy son D.J... and a humina-humina Dusty Tails.
Mr. Chairman: You know, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you. (pulls up Sam, causing him to hit the ceiling while Mr. Smith pulls down Damian's cage) Now Mr. Drake, are you going to save us the bother of eliminating your son?
Damian Drake: My son is going to kick your evil butt.
(He tries to reach his hands toward the chairman, but he is restrained. A buzzer is pressed.)
Chairman's Dad: Mr. Chairman!
Mr. Chairman: Yes, Dad.
Chairman's Dad: Desert operative.
ACME VPs: No.
Mr. Chairman: Not a bad idea, Dad. (the VPs lighten up) Our desert operative is due for a win.
(We cut to the desert where Wile E. Coyote chases after the Road Runner.)
Road Runner: Hmeep hmeep! Hmeep hmeep!
(As the coyote chases him down, a phone rings on a cactus. When the coyote stops in place, Caption reads below him in Fido font- COYOTE: DESERTUS-OPERATUS-IDIOTICUS appears below. He answers the phone while holding a sign saying “Hello”, as the scene cuts to him spying on the heroes.)
Bugs Bunny: I told you we should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.
Daffy Duck: Don't start that again!
(Wile E. grins evilly at the sight & runs off to order a missile launcher from ACME. As he purchases the product, he perks up when he realizes the package can be delivered to him in a gift wrap. He agrees to have the product delivered that way & has it shipped to him instantly. Unfortunately, the gift box drops on him.)
Road Runner: Hmeep hmeep!
(Wile E. pulls out a sign reading "Ouch". The scene cuts back to Bugs, Daffy, DJ & Kate trekking through the desert.)
DJ Drake: All right. Here's the plan. We wait here for the next truck or car or camel or whatever... and take Bugs and Daffy... get back to Hollywood and finish making the movie.
Kate Houghton: What are you going to do?
DJ Drake: I'm just gonna keep walking that way.
Kate Houghton: That's your plan?
DJ Drake: Yep. That's the direction the car was going.
(The scene cuts back to Wile E. preparing the missile launcher.)
Daffy Duck: You're not leaving me here while you make off with my diamond.
(As Wile E. presses the button to the launcher, the fire from the missile burns him, but luckily, the missile manages to launch correctly. Excited, he takes his binoculars and looks at the missile as it goes falling on him instead due to running out of fuel. When it cuts back to the heroes, an explosion is seen in the background.)
Kate Houghton: I don't wanna get too wrapped up in your caper... but let's assume that you're right and Damian Drake is a spy?
Daffy Duck: Super spy.
Kate Houghton: What's the point of just meandering through the desert if...
DJ Drake: (hands Kate a water bottle) Here. Be safe.
Bugs Bunny: Attaboy. Trust your instincts.
Daffy Duck: Yeah. Except for the water tower, the Batmobile, the rubble known as Las Vegas.
DJ Drake: There's nobody as rich, famous, and powerful as my father... who just disappears into thin air.
(Suddenly, he disappears into thin air. The remaining three are astonished and Bugs touches the strange air.)
Bugs Bunny: Suddenly I feel like I'm in Aunt Marge's Jell-O mold.
DJ Drake: (pops out of thin air) Guys, it's air-conditioned in here. Come on in.
(They were dragged right into a science lab, where they are greeted by an alien roaring at them. Luckily, the scientists successfully contain the alien as armed forces arrive & point their weapons at the foursome.)
Daffy Duck: Okay, buster. Where's Damian Drake and that big diamond? (Daffy gets blasted & melts) Cleanup on aisle three.
Robbie the Robot: Can I be of service? I am monitored to respond to the name Robbie.
Mother: Hi, D.J. At ease. I'm Mother. 
DJ Drake: Yeah, like the car said that we would be meeting you. How do you know my name?
Mother: D.J., I've known you since you were this big. (makes a gesture as if she was holding a ball of pepper in her fingers) That's not really possible, is it? Must have been a photo. Let me just take care of this, and we'll... (sucks up Daffy with a baster)
Daffy Duck: Give it to me straight. How bad is it?
Mother: So, shall we? So little to do, so much time.
Kate Houghton: You're going to put him back, right? I can't go back to L.A. with duck soup.
Mother: We do have the facilities to reconstitute the body. The mind though, will remain a gooey mess.
DJ Drake: So, about my father?
Mother: All in due time. Lovely. Yes. Blow.
Bugs Bunny: All right, break it up, fellas. Nice coats. White is the new black, you know.
Mother: Yes. (tickles an alien lying on a table) Look.
Bugs Bunny: So this is Area 51, right?
Mother: No.
Bugs Bunny: The secret military base where they keep the aliens?
Mother: No, Area 51 is actually a paranoid fantasy we concocted... to hide the true identity of this facility.
DJ Drake: Which is?
Mother: Area 52. But don't quote me on that.
Bugs Bunny: Oh, right. Area 52. (holds up a screwball sign)
DJ Drake: So, Mother-
Mother: Call me "Mom."
DJ Drake: Mom, what is it that you do here exactly, anyway?
Mother: Creation, transubstantiation, destruction. It's stressful. All kinds of things.
(Some scientists are seen taking in Dr. Miles Bennell and a pod from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.)
Dr. Miles Bennell: They're already here. You're next.
(Cut to ACME, the Chairman berates Wile E. Coyote for his failure.)
Mr. Chairman: My God, man, what am I going to do with you? You've done nothing but screw up! You've walked off mesas. You've been smashed by boulders. You've been run over by diesel trucks. Don't blame the equipment. It's good. It's ACME equipment. You're a coyote. Be wily. All right, now. Buck up and let's see a little smile. (Coyote smiles) Little bigger. (Then his smile increased.) That's nice. Now, just go take a shower, and don't come back till you smell better! Be careful. There're men moving a safe out there, and I don't want you to... (Coyote hits the safe off-screen. And be careful of the box of fireworks because... (Coyote gets hit by fireworks off-screen.) I suppose I should mention the plate-glass window... (He gets hit again.) It's tough being the boss.
(Back in Area 52, Marvin receives a signal from ACME.)
Marvin the Martian: Ah, a communication.
Mr. Chairman: Memo to Marvin the Martian. (Marvin fiddles with the signal to reach the Chairman's message) Obtain the playing card, and destroy the duck. And when I say destroy the duck, I mean kill him viciously and painfully.
(He turns his eyes to normal.)
Marvin the Martian: A mission? I'm all a-tingle.
Mother: So, here we are in the I-can't-tell-you-what room. Robert, can you take care of that, please?
Robbie the Robot: Yes, madam.
Bugs Bunny: Doc, when you bring Daffy back, could you make him 20% funnier?
Daffy Duck: I heard that.
Mother: What were we discussing? This isn't about the giant ants, is it?
Kate: Giant ants?
Mother: Because they're not really ants anymore.
DJ Drake: Tell me about the Blue Monkey.
Mother: How do you know about that thing that I've never heard of in my entire life?
DJ Drake: My dad told me.
Mother: What is the point of making them pinky swear? All right. Now this tape will explain everything. It was prepared especially for your father.
(She inserts the video tape into the VCR.)
Peter Graves: (on video) Greetings, Damian Drake. If you are watching this, you are aware that the world is in grave danger. The ACME Corporation is in hot pursuit of the Blue Monkey diamond... a supernatural gem with the ability to turn people into monkeys... and then back again. It is the ACME chairman's goal to turn the population... into monkey slaves to manufacture shoddy ACME goods... and then change them back to people to buy the stuff.
(Daffy is zapped back to his normal self.)
Daffy Duck: Unbelievable.
Peter Graves: (on video) Unbelievable, you may say. Your mission is this. Find it, destroy it, save humanity. And remember, no one wants to be turned into a monkey.
(The video ends.)
DJ Drake: So that's why. Those guys came after my dad because he was going to save the world. So that means if I go after the diamond, then the bad guys come after me.
Kate Houghton: Hang on. You're not seriously thinking about--
Mother: Taking over your father's mission? I guess that would be all right.
Kate Houghton: What?
Mother: Now listen, if you're going to be a spy, you'll need spy stuff.
DJ Drake: So, is this where you keep all the high-tech spy gadgets?
Mother: Yes.
(She shows him a wall of weapons.)
DJ Drake: That's cool. So I get to use all this stuff?
Mother: (closes the weapon door) No, your stuff is over here.
DJ Drake: But I really like the...
(Mother shows DJ a cellphone.)
Mother: All right. Looks like an ordinary cell phone. Three-way calling, voice dialing, downloadable ringtones.
Kate Houghton: My phone does all that.
Mother: Superconducting electromagnet. 
(The magnet from the phone pulls D.J. towards a metal stool.)
Mother: Sorry.
DJ Drake: It's all right. 
Mother: GPS with mapping software... tip calculator, Gameboy.
Daffy Duck: Gameboy?
(A laser blasts from the phone, decapitating Daffy.)
Mother: High-powered laser. Polycarbonate rappelling line with jet-propelled micro grappling hook. Nose hair trimmer. You always want to look your best.
(Daffy's headless body searches around for his head.)
Daffy Duck: Get over here, you idiot. No, cold. Cold. Warm, warmer.
(Bugs kicks Daffy's head away.)
Robbie the Robot: Permit me, madam.
(He brings in a pair of pants.)
Mother: Robert, darling. Excellent choice.
Bugs Bunny: Swank pants.
Mother: And comfortable, too. Plus, liquid hydrogen rocket pockets, here and here.
Daffy Duck: And stitching, nuclear-powered crotch pad...
(He presses a button on it and the pants launches Daffy up in the air.)
Mother: He'll be down in a moment.
(Meanwhile, Marvin uses his blaster to break out of his container.)
Marvin the Martian: Wakey, wakey, friends. Time to wreak mayhem in the cause of evil.
(As he gets to work freeing the other aliens, we cut back to the heroes.)
DJ Drake: Mother, just one last question. What's the deal with this card?
Mother: That is the window into what lies behind her smile.
All: What?
Mother: I'm sorry, our intelligence people feel a need to code everything in a riddle. They get some kind of perverse pleasure out of it. I think it's corporate.
(The illegal aliens are coming to attack them.)
Bugs Bunny: Looks like we got company.
(The Triffid Plant and Metaluna Mutant are shown.)
Daffy Duck: Yipes! Illegal aliens.
(Ro-Man the Robot Monster is seen, Spaceman The Man from Planet X and a Dalek are also seen.)
Dalek: Exterminate them.
Mother: Darn. I knew this day would come.
(She comes to a case that says "PUSH ONLY IN CASE THIS DAY COMES" and presses the button.)
Dalek: Let us exterminate them.
Automated Voice: (over PA) Emergency shutdown activated. Force-barrier seal in 30 seconds.
Dalek: Exterminate.
Marvin the Martian: The playing card, please.
Daffy Duck: (He slips the playing card from DJ to get Marvin chasing him) I'll take that. Out of my way. Hero coming through.
Ro-Man: There is no escape.
(A brain alien came and latched onto D.J.)
Marvin the Martian: You pesky fowl!
(As Daffy runs happily, Marvin got shot by Daleks as he became black dust. Spaceman keeps roaring.)
Bugs Bunny: Yum yum.
(Bugs Bunny puts a bag of popcorn on Spaceman's robotic gut which it's a microwave that released popcorn and it's about to end up suffocating Spaceman. DJ managed to get Brain and threw him away and killed him. Bugs Bunny carries a plastic vase full of cold soda despite Spaceman asking him to help.)
Bugs Bunny: Isn't it about time to enjoy a frosty, cold soda at the concession stand?
Dalek: Exterminate!
(The barrier to the desert was about to close.)
Daffy Duck: Get the lead out. Bus is leaving.
Marvin the Martian: (reverts back to normal) Halt or be fricasseed.
(The heroes jump through the portal and landed back on the desert.)
Kate Houghton: That was fun.
Daffy Duck: Looking for this?
Bugs Bunny: Now, what did she mean by a window?
DJ Drake: The window into what lies behind her smile. That's the Mona Lisa.
Kate Houghton: Which is in the Louvre.
DJ Drake: Which is in Paris.
Daffy Duck: Just how are we supposed to get to Paris?
Bugs Bunny: Like this.
(He turns the screen page like a book. We are now in Paris. We see various sights Paris has to offer before eventually reaching the Louvre. Inside the museum, DJ and Kate walk while Bugs and Daffy sneak around until they come across the Mona Lisa painting.)
DJ Drake: It doesn't look like much of a window to me.
Kate Houghton: Maybe the diamond is in the painting. All we have to do is steal the Mona Lisa.
Daffy Duck: Way ahead of you.
(Bugs and Daffy were wearing burglar costumes. They were about to get the painting.)
DJ Drake: No, you look, you don't touch, right?
Daffy Duck: Yeah. But I'm already in costume.
Bugs Bunny: That's a good look for you.
Daffy Duck: Do you think so?
DJ Drake: Wait a minute.
(D.J. saw something sticking out of the card. He peels it off and it is a seal for the card. He looked at the painting through it.)
Daffy Duck: It is a window.
Kate Houghton: It's an X-ray.
(The seal looks through Mona Lisa's clothes, showing her underwear.)
DJ Drake: Sorry. 
(Then, it shows through her skin before showing a map of Africa.)
DJ Drake: It's a map of Africa. Maybe that's where the diamond is.
Kate Houghton: Hold it up. I'll take a picture.
(They position the spy-phone to take a picture of the map.)
Daffy Duck: Can I take a picture? Please? Come on, give me your phone. I want to take a picture, too.
Bugs Bunny: Cheese it, the cops.
(A security guard passes by the four.)
Daffy: He's gone. So let me take a picture, will you? I want to take a picture, too. Come on, please? Can I hold the window? Let me see the window.
(They snap a picture while Daffy hops.)
Elmer Fudd: (points his gun at Daffy's back head and made the playing card fly) I'll take that!
(Bugs Bunny grabs it as Elmer points his gun at DJ and Kate, but then Bugs lowers it)
Bugs Bunny: What gives, doc? We made 35 pictures together.
Elmer Fudd: Well, as it turns out, I'm secwetwy evil.
Daffy Duck: That's show biz for you.
Elmer Fudd: Now make with the card, so I can pwease my dark masters.
Bugs Bunny: Yes, sir. Queen of diamonds is your card. Just put it back in the deck, anywhere is fine. And oopsie-daisy! Is this your card?
Elmer Fudd: No.
Bugs Bunny: This?
Elmer Fudd: No.
Bugs Bunny: This?
Elmer Fudd: No. I said it's the queen of diamonds, I tell you.
Bugs Bunny: You mean, like this one?
(Then Bugs and Daffy run away as Elmer is prepared to chase them.)
Elmer Fudd: Oooooh! I'm gonna bwast ya!
DJ Drake: Think we should go back and help him?
Kate Houghton: Elmer never gets Bugs. It's a formula, but it works.
(Mr. Smith unnoticedly captures Kate Houghton.)
DJ Drake: (without realizing she was captured) The great thing about movies, you always know what will happen. For instance, if this was a movie... you and I'd probably wind up together.
(Then DJ realizes she is captured by Mr. Smith.)
Kate Houghton: (bit Mr. Smith's hand, but she's still captured) If you don't let go of me, I'll scream... but I'm not gonna stop screaming!
(As DJ runs to save her, he ends up hitting the door, that knocked him out. Next scene, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are getting chased by Elmer Fudd, until they stopped to notice Salvador Dali's The Persistence of Memory picture. They entered in there, as Elmer Fudd didn't know where they go until Daffy raspberried at Elmer. Elmer Fudd was ready to blast them, but unfortunately the barrel of his shotgun melted as Bugs and Daffy laughed. They run, but the clouds go down as they melt and Elmer Fudd chases them. Bugs and Daffy keep running until their bodies melt as they get tired.)
Daffy Duck: Well, this is surreal.
Elmer Fudd: (his voice pitch lowered since he's inside the picture.) Stop or I'll fire.
(Every word from Elmer got images from his mouth, a STOP sign, a row, an eye with an apostrophe and two Ls and a bonfire came as images as Daffy and Bugs struggle to escape. Then Elmer uses a wooden stick to prepare his molten shotgun.)
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck: Yipe!
(After Elmer pulled the trigger, then the bullets fell down and Elmer screams distortedly as he melts. Bugs and Daffy managed to get away from the Persistence of Memory and teleported themselves to Edvard Munch's Scream picture. Elmer is ready to chase them, he keeps shooting, Daffy jumps in a woman and then hits a screaming man and so does Bugs. The screaming man screams too loud that Daffy and Bugs covered their ears. Elmer is ready to blast them as he laughs until Bugs Bunny stomps on Elmer's foot. Elmer screamed while he put his hands on his face. Then they get away from the Scream picture. And entered the Moulin Rouge picture. Then Bugs and Daffy came as female dancers.)
Elmer Fudd: Hello. (they kick him that made him giggle, and they kick him that they made him throw his shotgun) Oh, my. (Bugs kicks him and Elmer giggles, then Daffy kicks him that made him feel upset as he begs them to stop) Ladies, please. (Then Bugs and Daffy kick him a lot of times and they made him fly.)
(Meanwhile, DJ exits the Louvre to chase after Smith. He approaches Pepe le Pew.)
DJ Drake: Hey!
Pepe le Pew: Oui, monsieur?
DJ Drake: There's a man there. He's got a woman. She's tied up in a burlap sack. He's taking her to the Eiffel Tower.
Pepe le Pew: It is spring, is it not?
(D.J. retches from the stench of the skunk before running off. Then Elmer Fudd chases Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck through paintings as they go over all of them, then the chase resumes as Bugs and Daffy enter in Georges Seurat's A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jette)
Elmer Fudd: I'm gonna bwast you.
(Then Bugs and Daffy jumped just for Daffy to be the father and carry a baby car and Elmer Fudd is turned into part of the image. Then as he opens, Bugs disguised as a baby sleeping wakes up shushes him.)
Elmer Fudd: Aw, shucks! (laughs and grabs Bugs' cheek as Bugs cries and bites Elmer's nose, then Daffy and Bugs escaped and left their disguises as Elmer got mad. Bugs and Daffy dodge the bullets as Elmer shot a tree, then he kept shooting them, but no avail. Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck escaped and went back to normality, as for Elmer Fudd, he got out of the picture, but didn't go back to normal, instead he's stuck as an art from the picture.)
Bugs Bunny: "Pointillism: A technique of using individual dots of pigment..."which, taken together, make an image."
(Then Bugs Bunny turns the mini-fan to blow Elmer's dot-pigmented body.)
Elmer Fudd: Oh, cwud.
(Then Elmer's body vanished thanks to Bugs, except for his boots.)
Bugs Bunny: I think when you go to the movies, you should learn something.
(Daffy is seen trying to figure the numbers to draw his lower part.)
DJ Drake: Pardonnez-moi. Excusez-moi.
(D.J. presses some buttons to launch the pants. However, the pants launched in the air, leaving him in his underwear. The Three Bears walk by to gawk at DJ.)
Baby Bear: Look at that clown here.
Papa Bear: Now, there's something you don't see every day.
DJ Drake: You. Come here.
Papa Bear: Wait a minute.
DJ Drake: I don't want any trouble.
Papa Bear: What are you doing?
DJ Drake: I just want your pants!
(As he goes for Papa Bear, we see a helicopter flying towards the Eiffel Tower. It is piloted by Beaky Buzzard.)
Beaky Buzzard: That's right. I'm a vicious bird of prey.
(Smith waves to the helicopter to pick him up. DJ, now wearing Papa Bear's pants, goes up the Eiffel Tower. Smith takes the phone from Kate. The helicopter picked him up, but Kate held on to him. D.J. arrived.)
Kate: He's got the camera!
DJ Drake: Give the girl back!
(Kate falls down from Smith, and D.J. dives after her. D.J. grabs her and uses the grappling hook to swing from the tower, picking up flowers and chocolates, and landing at the cafe. Bugs and Daffy are waiting at their table.)
Bugs Bunny: What kept you?
DJ Drake: You okay?
Kate Houghton: That was great. (hugs DJ) 
(Bugs and Daffy played cupid, but Bugs accidently shoots an arrow at a man. The two wince.)
French Man: (offscreen) Sacre bleu!
DJ Drake: I'd say it's a perfect day. Except for the fact that we lost the map.
Bugs Bunny: We?
DJ Drake: All right, I'm the jerk who lost the map.
Bugs Bunny: And I'm the bunny who saved the card. (gets out the playing card) Voilà.
DJ Drake: Nice going, Bugs. Africa.
(Back in ACME, Mr. Chairman shows the cellphone to his VPs.)
Mr. Chairman: Chairpeople, I reveal to you... the whereabouts of the Blue Monkey. All right. 
(He summons the location of the Blue Monkey on the screen. However, on the pic, Daffy is blocking most of the location.)
Mr. Chairman: There's a duck in the middle of the map. Remove the duck. Remove the duck! The duck is in the... Duck! 
(He throws a remote at the screen, shattering it to pieces.)
Mr. Chairman: We cannot let a boy, girl, duck, and rabbit thwart our plans for global domination.
Damian Drake: Wanna bet?
Mr. Chairman: A wager?
Damian Drake: $5 says my son will scuttle your diabolical plans and save the world.
Mr. Chairman: You're awfully spunky for a man in your position. 
(He presses a button on the remote that makes Damian hit himself.)
Mr. Chairman: How do you like that, Mr. Slap Yourself in Your Own Face? (hands the remote to a cartoon mad scientist) Give him a good zets every once in a while.
Mad Scientist: My pleasure.
Mr. Chairman: Now, I think I'm going to hedge my bet. I'm going to unleash our most vicious operative. 
(A cage was lowered down, revealing the operative to be the Tasmanian Devil, or for short, Taz.) 
V.P. Never Learning: (presses his buzzer) Mr. Chairman, while we agree that the Tasmanian Devil is quite vicious... if memory serves, he is also really stupid.
Mr. Chairman: Really? So are you.
(He frees Taz from the cage, which prompts him to eat the man offscreen. He comes back when his meal is done.)
Mr. Chairman: That's a good boy.
(Pan to the victim, who was now a skeleton from Taz’s appetite.)
V.P. Never Learning: (presses his buzzer) I withdraw my objection.
(We come to a map of Africa as it zooms in before transitioning to the heroes in the jungle.)
Bugs Bunny: This would have been a lot easier underground.
DJ Drake: Come on, it's only another 6,000 cubits in this here thick direction.
(Just then, Granny, Sylvester, and Tweety arrive while riding on an elephant.)
Tweety: Look, Granny, it's that nice boy from next door.
Granny: Little Damian. How funny seeing you here, dear.
DJ Drake: Hi, Granny.
Granny: Would you and your little friends like a lift?
Daffy Duck: Giddyup, Dumbo.
Bugs Bunny: (climbs onto the elephant) Sure was a lucky coincidence you showing up just now.
Granny: (as she and Sylvester smile evilly) Yes, wasn't it?
(Later on, the group rode into the jungle. During the trek, some multicolored birds fly in.)
Tweety: I've discovered my roots.
Sylvester: I've discovered my lunch.
(The multicolored birds started attacking Sylvester.)
Tweety: Cry freedom!
(Eventually, they arrive at a temple.)
Daffy Duck: What a fantastic view.
Bugs Bunny: Unless you're in the audience... in which case you've been staring at an elephant's behind for 30 seconds.
Daffy Duck: My destiny awaits.
DJ Drake: I guess this is our stop.
Granny: Enjoy the rest of your adventure, children.
(As our heroes make it to the temple, Daffy finds a small monkey piece.)
Daffy Duck: This is the Blue Monkey? This dime-store bauble? I've been rooked. Shafted by the gods.
(Unfortunately, Daffy taking the piece causes the trap to start.)
DJ: This shouldn't happen. Nice going, Daffy.
Daffy Duck: I demand recompense. I want my diamond. Where is my humongous rock?
(On cue, a giant rock crushes him.)
Bugs Bunny: Pressed duck.
(DJ roll the giant rock off of Daffy, revealing the duck himself is flattened.)
Kate Houghton: This looks like a puzzle piece.
DJ Drake: What?
Kate Houghton: (notices a circular device) Wait a minute.
(She inserts the piece into the device and turns it, causing darts to shoot at them while Daffy inflates himself.)
Daffy Duck: Are we rich yet?
(Darts hit him and he deflates.)
DJ Drake: Kate, any time now.
(Finally, Kate turns the device and the bridge dropped down, giving them a way to cross over the lava. The Blue Monkey Diamond appears on a shrine.)
Daffy Duck: I'm rich. I'm affluent. My liquidity is assured. (laughs evilly and runs for the diamond)
DJ Drake: Daffy, get back here. Don't touch that! Let go! Don't you dare!
Daffy Duck: (as DJ grabs him) It’s mine! Mine! So close! Mine!
DJ Drake: You mind?
Daffy Duck: Yes, I mind. I'm the hero. I should get the treasure. The girl, too, but we'll discuss that later.
(He drops Daffy on the ground and picks up the Blue Monkey Diamond.)
Daffy Duck: Careful. Careful with my diamond. Easy, now.
(DJ holds up the Blue Monkey Diamond.)
DJ Drake: Dad, this is for you.
(The diamond shines and fires a ray at DJ, turning him into a monkey.)
Daffy Duck: Why, D.J., why you? Why wasn't it me? Just academic curiosity, you understand. (takes the diamond) Well, gotta go. Bank closes at 5:00.
Bugs Bunny: Come on, Daffy, change him back.
Daffy Duck: All right. Buddy pictures. 
(He uses the diamond to turn DJ back to normal.)
Daffy Duck: D.J., pal, you're okay.
DJ Drake: Yeah. Give me that. (takes the diamond)
Daffy Duck: I liked you better as a monkey.
DJ Drake: Thanks.
Granny: That is so sweet. Now if you could just hand over the diamond...
(Granny and Sylvester unzip their disguises, revealing themselves as Mr. Chairman and Smith.)
Mr. Chairman: Immediately!
Tweety: My turn.
(Tweety unzips his disguise, revealing himself as Taz. He spins around and babbles before farting.)
Tasmanian Devil: Pardon.
(Bugs is seen wearing a gas mask.)
Mr. Chairman: All right, now, I've come for the diamond.
DJ Drake: I knew it was you.
Mr. Chairman: Oh, you knew it was me, did you? Well you're wrong! Because I'm not me. I'm actually... (tries to unzip his disguise) I can't. I can't reach over the hat. I'd rehearse back at ACME, but I never wore the hat. And now the hat is throwing me off. Would you... (hands DJ his hat) Thank you very much. Now, I'm actually...
(He unzips to reveal himself as Damian.)
Damian Drake: Your father.
DJ Drake: Dad.
Daffy Duck: Saw that one coming.
Damian Drake: Look into your heart, D.J. You know it's true.
DJ Drake: No, it can't be true.
Damian Drake: You're right, it isn't.
(He unzips his disguise to reveal... Michael Jordan?!)
Michael Jordan: Let's do some drills.
Daffy Duck: This doesn't make a lick of sense.
(Finally, he unzips back to Mr. Chairman.)
Mr. Chairman: Well, who's laughing now? well, apparently, no one. Anyway, give me the Monkey!
DJ Drake: No, forget that, man. You're evil.
Mr. Chairman: Thank you, but... Anyway, Mr. Smith, let's show this muscle-bound beefcake... who I have sometimes been mistaken for... what it's like to live in the real world. 
(Smith gets out a big blaster.)
Mr. Chairman: Have you ever been disintegrated in one place and then reassembled in another? Fire away.
(DJ, Kate, and Bugs get blasted.)
Daffy Duck: Oh, no, you don't!
(Daffy and Mr. Chairman are blasted last. Taz babbles at Smith who dropped the gun and unzipped his disguise, revealing to be a She-Devil. Taz falls in love and they both get married. They kiss and babble at each other. Meanwhile, our heroes, along with Mr. Chairman, were teleported to ACME, with some side effects. Their body parts are switched and swapped.)
Mr. Chairman: I thought they fixed that glitch. Mr. Smith is fired! I have to do everything myself around here. 
(He resets the system, turning everyone back to normal.)
Mr. Chairman: Good.
DJ Drake: You...
(He grabs the Chairman from behind, trying to get the diamond back. The chairman turned on the TV, which showed Damian in danger.)
Mr. Chairman: Henchmen.
DJ Drake: Dad.
(ACME Henchmen grab the heroes.)
Mr. Chairman: So this is the remote that works. This, my friend, is the ACME Train of Death... which is not good news for your father.
Damian Drake: Don't worry about me, son. I've gotten out of worse scrapes than this one.
Mr. Chairman: You see, if the Train of Death doesn't kill him... then those crates of TNT will. (A 2-ton anvil is shown) Not to mention the 2-ton anvil hanging over his head. (And the Pendulum of Doom is shown) And look. There's the Pendulum of Doom. What's the Pendulum of Doom doing there? I didn't order the Pendulum of Doom. It's overkill. Get rid of it.
(The Coyote realizes it and pulls the rope to get rid of the Pendulum of Doom.)
Mr. Chairman: Now, if you want to keep your family "together"... I would hand over the Blue Monkey now.
Damian Drake: Don't worry, son. I'm fine.
(DJ reluctantly hands the diamond over to Mr. Chairman.)
DJ Drake: You're a sick man, you know that?
Mr. Chairman: Get used to it.
DJ Drake: Excuse me? What about my father?
Mr. Chairman: Oh. He's waiting for a train.
DJ Drake: What?! You...
(He tries to attack, but the henchmen hold him back.)
Mr. Chairman: Where's Marvin the Martian? (Marvin appears on command) All right, here is the Blue Monkey. Now go put it on the satellite. Go!
Daffy Duck: (sees Marvin fleeing) Oh, no, you don't, eight ball!
(Then Daffy chases Marvin. Marvin gets to his Martian Maggot ship and flies away, while Daffy takes the TCW912 ship and flies off without realizing that one of Marvin's sidekicks was repairing it. Marvin flies off, and Daffy tries to set the course, but hits the ACME logo word, making them fall, Daffy set the course right as he prepares to chase Marvin.)
Daffy Duck: Hah! You'd never catch that rabbit being this heroic.
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, doc?
Daffy Duck: You're despicable.
(Then they started chasing Marvin, as Bugs and Daffy blocked Marvin behind, he managed to avoid it, just to hit Bugs and Daffy's ship 3 times. Then Bugs pulled the lever forward to scratch Marvin's ship with a key.)
Marvin the Martian: Vandals.
(Then Marvin presses the Force Field button, but only for a wrestling punch mechanism to send Bugs and Daffy away from chasing him. Back on Earth, Mr. Chairman explains his evil plan.)
Mr. Chairman: Your friends' efforts will prove to be futile. You see, here is the Blue Monkey, here is the ACME satellite. When the Blue Monkey is finally docked in the satellite... I will transmit a beam around the world... which will transform everyone but me into monkeys. Now take them away!
DJ Drake: Don't you think that'll get lonely... Mr. All My Friends Swing from Trees and Pick Fleas Out of Their Furry Butts?
Mr. Chairman: Lonely? I suppose I could use a little human companionship.
Kate Houghton: Thanks a lot.
Mr. Chairman: I've seen you notice me. I know I'm hot. But I prefer someone with a little more oomph. I prefer Mary! 
(Mary appears on cue.)
Mr. Chairman: Hello, Mary. We're a cute couple, don't you think? Now, take those future simians away and lower the Monkey shield.
(As ACME Chairman's henchmen take DJ and Kate away, the next scene goes to outer space. As Bugs and Daffy prepare to keep chasing Marvin, he presses the Auto Pilot button and relaxes. Then Bugs and Daffy come. They pretend they don't know the directions to reach Mars, Marvin doesn't understand what they're saying, then Bugs suggested for Marvin to open the window by mimicking it.)
Marvin the Martian: Earthlings have the worst sense of direction.
(After Marvin opened the window glass, it resulted for him to float off his own ship.)
Daffy Duck: What do you know, he fell for it. I guess I owe you $5.
(Then Marvin is shown below the TCW912 ship holding on its lower part.)
Daffy Duck: Did you order satellite?
Bugs Bunny: I don't even have cable.
(Back on Earth, DJ and Kate are tied up in the ACME warehouse.)
Kate Houghton: You know, when I fired that duck... I never would have seen this coming.
DJ Drake: There's gotta be a way out of this.
Damian Drake: You can get out of this, son. You've just got to set your mind to it.
DJ Drake: Besides, I'm hearing my dad's voice in my head.
Damian Drake: Actually, I'm down here, son.
DJ Drake: Hold on, Dad, I'll be right down!
Kate Houghton: That was too easy.
Damian Drake: What was that noise, son?
DJ Drake: You know how I always wanted a dog?
Damian Drake: Yeah?
DJ Drake: I just got one.
Kate Houghton: Wait. Maybe he wants to play fetch.
DJ Drake: Nice mechanical doggy.
Kate Houghton: Good dog. Want to play? Good boy. Fetch!
(Back in space, Daffy stares at the satellite with a jetpack in hand.)
Daffy Duck: It looks to be a deadly mission requiring strength... cunning and nerves of steel. (hands the jetpack to Bugs) So good luck, Bugsy, I'll keep the engine running.
(Then Bugs gets out but only for Marvin to point him with his ACME bubble gun.)
Marvin the Martian: You tricked me!
Bugs Bunny: What's up, Darth?
Marvin the Martian: Now I must incapacitate you with my bubble gun. 
(Then shoots his bubble gun.) 
Bugs Bunny: Ain't that cute? (Then the bubble popped on him sending him to an electric pillar.) Of course you realize this means war. 
(Then Bugs prepared his carrot and turns it into a lightsaber and floats upside, and Marvin also floats outside. Then Marvin shoots his gun, and Bugs blocks it, then Bugs while blocking, reads a book about The Force for Dummies.)
DJ Drake: You go that way. I'm gonna go this way.
Kate Houghton: Bad dog! Sit!
Damian Drake: I don't want to put you under any added pressure... but judging by the vibrations of these train tracks, I've got about... one minute and forty-two seconds left.
Kate Houghton: Down! Put him down.
(Then the ACME robo-dog throws DJ on the boxes. Then Bugs keeps blocking Marvin's bubbles from his bubble gun. As it shows Daffy scared.)
Daffy Duck: What am I gonna do? What would Damian Drake do? What would Duck Dodgers do? Wait a minute. I am Duck Dodgers! (He spins to disguise himself as Duck Dodgers) Yes, I'm going to be the hero of this picture! (he wears a jetpack) Duck Dodgers to the rescue! (Then the jetpack explodes around him making him dizzy and destroying a little of his costume, then wears another jetpack) Duck Dodgers to the rescue- (explodes again, as it destroys partial part of his costume making him dizzy and wears another jetpack) Duck Dodgers- (explodes again) Duck... (explodes again, it goes to the scene as he gets out of the spaceship.) It's you-know-who to the rescue! It helps if you don't say the name.
(Then the ACME robo-dog ate the box net to make Kate fall, but she holds in it. DJ wakes up.)
Kate Houghton: Bad dog! D.J!
(Then DJ comes to rescue her by swinging on a rope with a hooker, then he hooks the ACME robo-dog's collar. Then the ACME robo-dog prepares to grab DJ, but since his collar got hooked, it pulled him off, then DJ jumped to rescue his father. Then Kate thought DJ was dead when the train passed, but after the train moves, it's revealed that DJ rescued his father, as Kate is relieved. The next scene shows Wile E. Coyote upset in failure, but then he realizes that he's running on TNT, then before his defeat, he pulls his last sign that says "THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH", and at the next scene, an explosion occurs after the TNT exploded. Then the ACME robo-dog scratches itself. The next scene reveals the ACME satellite, the Blue Monkey is ready, as the pointer breaks the golden monkey statue and puts the Blue Monkey gem. And the ENGAGED mode indicates that it's in position. While Daffy Duck/Duck Dodgers is here to save the day, Marvin used his bubble gun to knock Bugs Bunny's lightsaber, and then shot him another bubble and trapped him in there.)
Marvin the Martian: Disgusting Earth rodent. Now to neutralize that duck.
(Then as Daffy stands on the satellite, Marvin uses his electromagnetizer to magnetize Daffy's suit with 2 near electric pillars, that they crushed him.)
Daffy Duck: This can't be good.
(Then a huge ray destroyed the pillars and burnt Daffy, leaving his beak floating off his head.)
Marvin the Martian: Now the diamond will bathe the Earth in a monkey-transforming glow.
Satellite: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
(Then Daffy looked at the radar, and threw his beak at the radar pointer, then he inhales and holds his breath to prevent the satellite from shooting, but only to overload the satellite. Then the ENGAGED mode changes to OVERLOAD, indicating that the satellite is overloaded.)
Marvin the Martian: Thwarting evil makes me so angry.
(Then the bubble where Bugs is stuck popped near Marvin enough to knock him out, then Bugs put his finger on the bubble gun hole just to have Marvin's gun shooting a bubble that trapped him.)
Bugs Bunny: That takes care of that.
(Then the claw grabs Bugs as he yells. Then two rays came from Daffy's nostrils, one ray points outside and the other points at Earth, then Daffy swallowed the complete energy back to the radar, but only to turn the satellite into an umbrella and the screen changed from OVERLOAD to KABOOM! indicating that the satellite is about to explode. Then the satellite exploded, Daffy's beak flew off the radar pointer, the explosion caused Bugs to fall off without a jetpack, then Daffy's beak spun back to Daffy's face. Then Bugs screams as he's about to die, until Daffy rescued him.)
Bugs Bunny: Thanks, Daff.
(Then Daffy smiles at the audience as he flies with Bugs, then Marvin floats on the bubble.)
Marvin the Martian: Darn dark side!
(Meanwhile, the other ray flies toward ACME.)
Mr. Chairman: Are you all monkeys yet? (sees the ray speeding towards him) Uh oh!
(ZAP! DJ, Damian, and Kate come out to see Mr. Chairman, now as a monkey while Mary is nearby crying.)
Damian Drake: Checkmate, Mr. Chairman. You're going down.
(As he handcuffs the monkey, we cut back to Bugs and Daffy as they fly back to Earth.)
Daffy Duck: Come on, say it. Just a little "You're my hero"?
Bugs Bunny: Nope, sorry.
Daffy Duck: Bugs, say it, come on.
Bugs Bunny: Not interested.
Daffy Duck: No one will ever know.
Bugs Bunny: Nope.
(Back on Earth, Damian congratulates his son.)
Damian Drake: I'm really proud of you, D.J. I knew I could count on you.
DJ Drake: (sees the spaceship coming) Dad, I think we should move.
Damian Drake: What was wrong with Beverly Hills?
DJ Drake: I meant from this spot.
(They see the spaceship approaching and quickly run away as it crashes through the building. The Chairman monkey runs off while Bugs and Daffy emerge.)
Bugs Bunny: I think we scratched it.
Daffy Duck: Don't worry, it's a rental.
Kate Houghton: You guys, you pulled it off!
Bugs Bunny: You pulled it off, all right. (pulls off Daffy's bill)
Daffy Duck: Give me that. (takes back his bill)
DJ Drake: Way to go, Daffy.
Daffy Duck: You didn't do so bad yourself, stunt boy.
Bugs Bunny: To set the record straight... all credit for saving the human race goes to Daffy.
Daffy Duck: Exactly. Oh, no, you don't, buster. You're the hero.
Bugs Bunny: You're the hero.
Daffy Duck: You're the he- Wait a minute. Pronoun trouble. I'm the hero.
Bugs Bunny: I'm the hero, all right.
(Cut to the humans.)
Damian Drake: Are you gonna introduce us, D.J.?
DJ Drake: Dad, this is Kate. Kate, this is--
Damian Drake: Damian Drake.
Kate Houghton: I'm a really big fan... of your son.
(Cut back to Bugs and Daffy.)
Bugs Bunny: Well Daff, you achieved your goal of being a hero.
Daffy Duck: Yep, but you didn't achieve your goal... of getting me back in your stupid movie.
Director: Cut. Great, that's a wrap. That's it, guys.
(The background splits apart, revealing the whole adventure to be a movie.)
Daffy Duck: Remind me to get a new agent, will you?
Bugs Bunny: Thanks.
Daffy Duck: Hey! Wait a minute. Maybe we are a team. Bugs and Daffy. No, Daffy and Bugs. What do you think?
(Meanwhile, DJ and Kate approach Brendan Fraser.)
DJ Drake: Excuse me, do you remember me? I threatened your manliness, and you got me fired?
Brendan Fraser: I know you. Do I know him? You must be someone that I got fired. See, I get a lot of people fired. You be good now.
DJ Drake: So like I said...
(DJ punches out the actor.)
Agent: Not again. He's down again. Are you okay?
DJ Drake: I love you, Kate.
Kate Houghton: And I love you, D.J.
DJ Drake: Come on.
Agent: He said he can do stunts.
(Then, Bugs and Daffy arrive at a limo.)
Man: (on phone) Bugs is here. Gotta go.
Bugs Bunny: You know Daffy, you're right.
Ryan: The usual place, Mr. Bunny?
Bugs Bunny: (as he gets in the limo) Very good, Ryan. From now on, you and I are going to be equal partners in this thing. No more second banana for you.
(Bugs rides off in his limo.)
Daffy Duck: Thanks, pal. I really appreciate this. At last, my star is rising. All my hopes and aspirations... 
(Suddenly, he notices a stage light about to fall on him.)
Daffy Duck: Whoop!
(He avoids the stage light, smirking & laughing about his new "luck".)
Daffy Duck: What do you know? My luck is changing already!
(Unfortunately, the iconic loop lands on top of him. As "THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!" appears, Porky pops in and tries to say his catchphrase, but is held back by his iconic stuttering.)
Crew Member: (offscreen) Good night, Porky! (the lights start going out, as Porky looks around, worriedly) See you tomorrow!
Porky Pig: (unamused) Go home, folks.
(The lights go out. Roll credits. After the credits roll, a scene back at the casino plays, where Nasty Canasta & Cottontail Smith are seen chasing Daffy around some slot machines.)
Daffy Duck: Woo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo!
(Daffy activates one slot machine & flees. The 2 bandits stop at the slot machine & notice they get 3 cherries. They hold out their hats, waiting for the money to roll in, but the cherries are actually cherry bombs, which explode in their faces, causing them to get knocked out. Cut to black. Movie ends.)
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