Mario's Average Creepy Video Game of Doom!

"The kid who had this video game died... or had a seizure that blasted him to the moon! "
            - Old Dude 
==Chapter 1 - The Retarded Video Game==
I was shopping at Cheap Crap Mart. I wanted some toilet paper. But there was this really average Creepypasta old guy selling video games.
" I has good game!" said the man. He looked 90% Lolcat. I bought a videogame from him. He said that the kid who had it died, or had a seizure that blasted him to the moon (read the quote)!
So I went home and put it in my DatBoi Advance. I saw Mario.
"It's a me, a Retardio!" said Mario, " I'ma scary!". Retardio exploded and blood went everywere. The real mario came on the stage. "What the crap who killed Retardio?" said Mario, " I used to scam him in Counter Crap!".
I wanted to play as Mario. So I pressed start and pressed the Right Button.
"What the freaking crap?" said Mario, " Why are you pressing that button you werido?
"Let me play the game!" I said.
"Ok this game is haunted go hide in a box or something," I was not convinced.
"Is this a joke or something?" I wondered. I tried to make him jump.
Mario combusted into blood. He respawned.
Mario said, " Thats the explosion button you werido!"
Retardio appeared and the screen turned black. I heard Mario say, " WHY THE HECK DID YOU SPILL BLACK BEAN SOUP ON THE SCREEN  RETARDIO!"
He wiped the mess and started, "The Scariness".
==Chapter 2, The Scariness!==
Mario turned bloody. Actually Retardio took MS Paint and crapped it on Mario.
Mario took out a knife. "COUNTER CRAP TIME!"
I screamed! I found a boulder on top of my neighbors house and threw it at my Datboi Advance. I threw the game into the ocean. I realized that I crushed my house. That game was cursed. Actually I was overreacting and being retarded. So I decided to tell the crappy guy in front of Cheap Crap Mart.
The guy was not there. There was a note that said,
"HA RETARD - Mario"
Mario was stalking me. So I found my boulder and lived under it.
==The Stupid End==
I looked out under my rock. It was 2020 where hoverboards actually flew and Kanye was president.
I saw a hologram of Miyamoto. He said, " BUY MY RETAR-DS!"
I screamed again and took my boulder. I rolled it around the Earth and everything was crushed.
" RIP everyone, 2016, and also Kanye West, Miyamoto Hologram, and The Main Character"
                              - The Grave carved from the boulder.
Category:Creepy Pasta Parody