Treehouse of Horror II/Quotes

:(Rabat, Morocco. The Simpsons are taking a vacation there)
:Homer: What is this?
:Merchant: A monkey's paw that will grant its owner four wishes.
:Homer: Wow! How much?
:Merchant: Sir, I must recommend against buying this. It carries a bad omen. Take me for example, I was once the President of Algeria...
:Homer: Come on, pal! I don't want to hear your life story! Paw me!
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:Marge: Homer, where'd you get the monkey's paw?
:Homer: I got it from the stand...over..there. (points to an empty space. A gust of wind is blowing sand around)
:Homer: Oh, wait. It's over there.
:Merchant: You will be sorry.
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:Kang: That board with a nail in it may have defeated us, but the humans won't stop there. They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails. Soon they'll make a board with a nail so big it will destroy them all! (he and Kodos laugh maniacally.)
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:Football announcer: The kick is up...it's looking good...The ball is turning into a fat bald guy! (Homer is shown on the TV, flying into the goal post) And it's no good, and you know what we say every time something strange happens, it's good that Bart did that, it's very good!
:[Bart changes channel to the Krusty show, showing a stubbly, ragged Krusty]
:Krusty: Well, we're still on. 346 consecutive hours. And all because of one little boy who...WHO WON'T LET ME STOP!! Hi Bart, hoo hoo, ha ha! Anyway, now let's go and see if Sideshow Mel has any more of those legal, over-the-counter wake-up drugs of his!
:Audience: {in unison:} YAY!
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:(Homer is has a Jack in the Box for a body. He tucks Bart into bed using his mouth)
:Bart: Dad, these past few days have been great. Is there anything I could do for you?
:Homer: You could give me my body back.
:Bart: You got it.
:(Homer regains his body)
:Bart: I love you, dad.
:Homer: I love you, son. (kisses him; as the dream ends, Bart wakes up screaming in terror, the camera zooms into his mouth, cutting to commercial break)
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:Homer is digging a grave, being supervised by Groundskeeper Willie.
:Willie: Deeper! Wider! Faster! I wouldn't bury me turtle in that mud puddle! Gach! What's the use? [He leaves.]
:Homer: Sheesh. What a slave driver.
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:(Mr. Burns has kicked the robot, causing it to fall and crush him.)
:Mr. Burns: Have trouble breathing... organs leaking vital fluids... Smithers... I am going to die.
:Smithers: No! Cannot anything be done?!
:Mr. Burns: We have one chance. Go to my office... open the desk... third drawer... There is some ether.
:(Homer wakes up and screams)
:Marge: Did you have a nightmare, Homey?
:Homer: No, Bart bit me.
:Bart: Hey, man, you were crushing me. I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.
:(Homer awakens and enters bathroom. He turns on light to see a scary reflection in mirror.)
:Homer: [screams]
:Mr. Burns: Perhaps you are curious as to why you have two heads. Well, my body was crushed, so I had my head grafted onto your, shall we say, ample frame.
:Homer: [trying to stay calm] I can wake up. It's all a dream. It's just a dream.
:Mr. Burns: Oh, that's right. It's all a dream... Or is it? [laughs diabolically as Executive Producer credit appears]
:Narrator: Next week, on The Simpsons...
:(Scene goes to the Kitchen where the Simpsons family is eating breakfast.)
:Lisa: [puts down the newspaper] Don't forget, Dad, tonight my class is having an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner.
:Homer: Mmm…spaghetti.
:Mr. Burns: [his head attached to Homer's shoulder] But Homer, tonight is the reception for Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands!
:Homer: Oh, I hate having two heads.
: ---- ---- ----
:Mr. Burns: [starts hitting Homer with a shovel after Smithers told him that he is alive] Bad corpse! Bad corpse! Stop scaring Smithers! [Homer passes out] Satisfied? 
:Smithers: Thank you sir.
: [After the robot acted exactly just like Homer:] 
: Mr. Burns: It wasn't supposed to be this way! [cries] It was supposed to be a thing of beauty! Not this abomination! [Points to the robot sleeping and snoring like Homer] Oh, Smithers, I was wrong to play God. Life is precious, not a thing to be toyed with. Now take out that brain and flush it down the toilet! 
: Smithers: Sir, his family might appreciate it if you returned the brain to his body.
: Mr. Burns: Oh, come on, it's 11:45!
es:Treehouse of Horror II/Frases
Category:Treehouse of Horror
Category:Treehouse of Horror quotes