Let's Play Ultima IV: Episode One

==Episode 1==
Hosts
*Cirosan
*Talk Acanthi
*Tandy
*No One
Run Down (This will likely be the longest Run Down, as it is the first episode and needs a lot of explaining. If somsone feels like making this and all subsiquent Episodes their own page, feel free. I don't know if this series will go on long enough or if i will care enough.)
Once upon a time, a college professor assigned the playing of Ultima IV to his students. Apprently none of his students were able to finish the game. Upon hearing this news Cirosan decided that he simply must prove himself more of a man than that lot of rabble and proceeded to embark upon this journey, dragging with him Talk, Tandy and No One.
We are off to a slow start, wherein Ciro manages to annoy both the viewers and the other hosts as well as manage to make the first two seconds of the game take 15 minutes, or about one sixth of the total broadcast time.
Also, apprently, No One has played this game before and as such he feels the need to never speak and only be involved in a viewer/mocker capacity.
OKAY! Finally at 29:20 we ACTUALLY get to see the game. And boy is it ugly, but I bet you were ugly in 1985 too.
Cirosan also made a map for this Let's Play, it seems that a song must be sung to summon this map.
Our journey begins with us needing to find Lord British/Richard Garriet, the ruler/designer of this land/game. He will force us to talk to him at EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. To level up, talk to Richard. To get directions, talk to Richard. To heal, talk to Dick. Well, lets get this over with started then.
The first 20 minutes of gameplay is shockingly slow, the only notable figure is Lady Donna, the woman pregnant with a five foot lump in her stomach. Ammusing but ultimately fruitless, unlike the good Lady's stomach. When suddenly, Ciro stumbles upon a HIDDEN MAN whom turns out to be none other than Aesop, legendary teller of tales. From Aesop we learn that the Mantra of Valor is 'RA' and nothing else. Good bye Aesop.
Upon leaving the first town, Jealom, we encounter a number of combat events and miracliously win one against a pair of dragons. Granted, one dragon left out of boredom and the second poisioned the party before its death. Rather a phyric victory. Poision, as it seems, is an ever present danger and when poisioned your normally annoying footstep noises only get worse and you drop health at a rapid pace. It also costs nearly all of your money to REMOVE posion and you cant sleep it off. So thats a thing.
Once we finally find the Tardis and teleport to the next town, Skara Brae, we manage to recruit our first party member, a ranger named Shamino. Also we meet a bard named Dickens. Clever.
Later, we meet a great philosopher named Buddha. Fuck you Richard Garriet, this episode summary is over!
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