The Trouble with Trillions/Quotes

:Homer: Would you look at those morons? I paid my taxes over a year ago!
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:Chief Wiggum: Alright, people, listen up. The harder you push, the faster we will all get out of here.
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:Todd: Daddy, what do taxes pay for?
:Ned: Why, everything! Policemen, trees, sunshine, and let's not forget the folks who just don't feel like working, God bless 'em.
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:Milhouse: (Posing shirtless while photographing himself) My shirt fell off.
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:Mr. Burns: Oppression and harassment are a small price to pay to live in the land of the free.
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:(After flying to Cuba)
:Mr. Burns: Sorry about the landing, boys. This fog is so thick I can't see my own cataracts.
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:Homer: It's hard to believe there's a place worse than America, but we found it.
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:Homer: Shut up, shut up! If I don't hear you, it's not illegal!
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:Homer: (Running a stoplight) If I don't see it, it's not illegal!
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:Homer: (Filling out his tax return) Okay, Marge, if anybody asks, you require 24-hour nursing care, Lisa's a clergyman, Maggie is seven people and Bart was wounded in Vietnam.
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:Homer: Marge, how many kids do we have? Oh, no time to count, I'll just estimate.
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:Homer: Any of you involved in any illegal activity? 'Cause I could sure go for some!
:FBI Agent: (shocked at his blatant methods) Oh, God!
:Homer: How about you, Lenny? Testing, testing. Lenny?
:Lenny: You saying you want to commit a crime, Homer?
:Homer: Maybe. But first I need to hear about some other crimes to get me fired up.
:Carl: You mean like the time you was running moonshine out of your basement?
:Barney: Or that telemarketing scam you pulled?
:Homer: Uh, like those. But involving you.
:Moe: Oh. You mean like the time Barney beat up George Bush?
:Homer: Barney?! That was me! And I'd do it again.
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:Moe: Hey, how did they finger Charlie? Somebody must've ratted him out!
:Homer: Oh, that's ridiculous, Moe. End transmission.
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:Homer: I can't go to prison! They pee in a cup and throw it on you! I saw it in a movie!
:FBI Agent: You won't be seeing any prison movies where you're going: prison!
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:FBI Agent: Let's take a walk.
:Homer: Walk?! That wasn't part of the deal!
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:Homer: You don't know how big the government is. It goes all the way up to the President!
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:Homer: Does this make me look fat?
:Lisa: No, it makes you look like a tool of government oppression.
:Homer: But not fat?
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:: Mr. Burns: That intrepid lad is my great-grandfather,	Franklin Jefferson Burns, tossing that without a care for what the	caffeine would do to the Finway Flounder.
:: Homer: Is that a fish?
:: Mr. Burns: It was.
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:Mr. Burns: I'm not the thief; the government is. Every year you make hardworking Joes like my reporter friend pay income taxes. And for what? Aid to ungrateful foreigners, do-nothing nuclear missiles, tomb polish for some unknown soldier.
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:Frenchman 1: Well, this is a kick in the knickers. Should we complain to someone?
:Frenchman 2: No. I say we just act snooty to Americans for ever.
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:FBI Agent: Attention, fugitives. You are leaving US jurisdiction. Turn back immediately or we will be unable to prosecute you.
:Homer: We better do what he says!
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:FBI Agent: They'll be back. They'll miss American TV.
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:Mr. Burns: (Pointing to a display case) Oh, you'll find this amusing: the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in.
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:Homer: I call President!
:Mr. Burns: Vice President!
:Smithers: Aw!
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:Homer: (Wearing an FBI listening device.) Hey, see you're watching the ball game. Looks like a good one. Any of you involved in any illegal activity? Cause I could sure go for some. How bout you, Lenny? Testing, testing. Lenny?
:Lenny: You saying you want to commit a crime, Homer?
:Homer: Maybe. But first I need to hear about some other crimes to get me fired up.
:Carl: You mean like the time you was running moonshine out of your basement?
:Barney: Or that telemarketing scam you pulled?
:Homer: Uh... like those, but involving you.
:Moe: Oh, you mean like the time Barney beat up George Bush?
:Homer: Barney!? That was me! And I'd do it again.
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:Mr. Burns: if it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty. And if it's a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to Communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too. And if it's a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I'll soon be guilty of that!
es:The Trouble With Trillions/Frases