Peter Griffin meets SpongeBob: The Valentine's Special

Peter Griffin meets SpongeBob: The Movie: The Valentine's Special is a Valentine's Special based on Peter Griffin meets SpongeBob. (it is literally just Valentine's Day)
== Transcript ==
[shows Hell]
Satan: Ah, what a calm day…
[a demon comes in]
Demon: Hello sir, we have seen a police car.
Satan: A police car?
Demon: Yes.
[a police car crushes in and Zoltan jumps out of it]
Zoltan: Hello! I was gonna go to prison for my several war crimes but I managed to escape!
Satan: NOO!!! THE PEST IS BACK!
Zoltan: Yes, Budapest! *jumps onto Satan’s lap* So hey Satan! For christmas i think i will want a Scatman pillow, a Scatman bed, a Scatman blanket and a Scatman wallpaper!
Satan: No!
Zoltan: Aww… *jumps out of Satan’s lap*
Satan: ANYONE BUT ZOLTAN! ANYONE BUT HIM!
[Hitler walks in]
Hitler: Guten morgen!
Satan: Okay I choose Zoltan.
Hitler: Traurig!
Zoltan: Anyways do you know what time it is?!
Satan: Yes you made another Peter Griffin X SpongeBob fanfic.
Zoltan: EXACTLY! BUT NOW IT’S A VALENTINE’S SPECIAL!
Satan: This will be boring…
Zoltan: Yes.
[cut to SpongeBob’s pineapple house]
SpongeBob: *opens his house door with a bunch of hearts in his arms* Happy Valentine's Day, Bikini Bottom! *throws hearts everywhere.*
[He hands one to Squidward, but he rudely tears it up. He gives one to Mrs. Puff, but her boat runs into a fire hydrant. He gives Plankton a tiny heart using tweezers. SpongeBob leaps over to Sandy's place]
Sandy: Happy Valentine's Day, SpongeBob. I'm nuts for you. *gets out an acorn nut with an arrow stuck through it*
SpongeBob: *puts the acorn away and takes out a bottle of chocolate syrup* Well, I'm bubbles for you, Sandy. *blows a chocolate heart bubble*
Sandy: *Opens a door on her helmet for the chocolate heart to go into and eats it* Mmmm, chocolate. Mighty tasty. Peter's gonna love the one you made for him. 
[a chocolate balloon is shown and then SpongeBob and Sandy run over and Sandy gets into the basket]
Sandy: Take me through the plan again.
SpongeBob: Okay. *blows a chocolate carnival* Step one: *manly voice* Peter and I get to the Valentine's Day carnival.
[a chocolate SpongeBob and Peter fly in and hop onto the carnival]
SpongeBob: Step two: I position Peter and myself on top of the Ferris wheel. 
[both of them hop over to the Ferris wheel where it rides up to the top.]
SpongeBob: *Blows a chocolate hot air balloon* Step three: You arrive at the designated checkpoint for maximum visual contact. 
[the balloon floats over above the carnival]
SpongeBob: Step four: Peter is thrilled. Mission accomplished. 
[the chocolate bursts all over the screen and then we see Peter with a Valentine's Day shirt and putting a big rock on the ground and pounds the rock into the shape of a heart and picks it up]
SpongeBob: Hi, Peter.
Peter: *imagines the heart is talking to him* Hello?
SpongeBob: Peter, it's me, SpongeBob.
Peter: SpongeBob, what are you doing in there?
SpongeBob: Peter!
Peter: Oh, my god! Sponge...SpongeBob is stuck inside this rock! *screams* Hold on, buddy, I'll get you out! *smashes the rock into a pile of dirt* SpongeBob? SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Peter…
Peter: SpongeBob! *cries and rubs the pile of dirt against the side of his face*
SpongeBob: Peter, I'm right behind you! 
Peter: *turns around* There you are. *holds the pile of dirt in his hands* Happy Valentine's Day! Here's your present.
SpongeBob: And I have a present for you!
Peter: You do?
SpongeBob: It's the greatest…
[Peter gets excited] 
SpongeBob: ...the bestest…
[Peter gets more excited] 
SpongeBob: ...the most fantabulous…
[Peter gets even more excited]
SpongeBob: ...present ever!
[Peter bounces and rolls all around all excited and overjoyed]
SpongeBob: But you can't have it yet.
[Peter stops rolling and bouncing around]
Peter: Huh? Why not?
SpongeBob: Because it's not ready yet.
Peter: Is it ready now?
SpongeBob: Not yet.
Peter: How about now?
SpongeBob: Do you want to ruin the surprise?
Peter: Yes!
SpongeBob: Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!
Peter: Oh, come on, please!
SpongeBob: Hmmm...nope, sorry.
Peter: *grabs on to SpongeBob's legs and feet* You gotta tell me!
SpongeBob: No can do! *laughs* You'll just have to wait! *walks off with Peter still hanging on his legs and feet*
Peter: Please. Oh please... *still hanging on his legs we see SpongeBob walking through the middle of nowhere* ...please-please-please-please. Tell me-tell me-tell me. Please?!
SpongeBob: Okay, Peter, here we are.
Peter: *gasps as he sees the carnival* You got me a carnival? Mine! All mine, mine, mine, mine. 
[Peter runs inside the carnival and SpongeBob runs in behind him] 
Peter: Mine, mine, mine! All right, everybody out! This is my carnival!
SpongeBob: It's not the carnival.
Peter: Oh.
SpongeBob: *takes a quarter out of his pocket* Here, why don't you take this quarter and...
Peter: *snatches it from SpongeBob* Oh my god, a quarter! I've always wanted a quarter!
SpongeBob: It's not the quarter.
Peter: Oh.
SpongeBob: Now, take that quarter and buy some cotton candy... 
[Peter interrupts and SpongeBob's finger deflates]
Peter: Cotton candy! I can't believe it! *chases the cotton candy seller* Cotton candy!
Cotton Candy Seller: Hey, get away! Hey!
Sandy: Sandy to SpongeBob. *takes out a walkie-talkie where Sandy's voice is coming from* Sandy to SpongeBob. Come in, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Ten-four, Sandy, SpongeBob here. 
[we see Sandy closing in with the balloon on the carnival]
Sandy: *floating toward the carnival in the balloon* I got a visual on the carnival. You want 
me to bring her in?
SpongeBob: Ohh, not yet, Sandy. Peter's still trying to guess what his Valentine is.
Sandy: *chuckles* You are such a kidder. Sandy out. That SpongeBob…
[a group of orange flying oysters are heading toward the balloon]
Sandy: Scallops...chocolate-eating scallops!
Peter: So if it's not cotton candy, then what is it? I can't take it!
SpongeBob: You'll have to guess!
Peter: *points at a tent* This tent?
SpongeBob: No.
Peter: *holds up a man who is waiting in line for Heart-A-Whirl* This guy?
SpongeBob: No. 
[we see microorganisms crawling around; it's Peter's view through a microscope]
Peter: This paramecium?
SpongeBob: *laughs* Nope.
Peter: *giggles* Heh, you're a sly one. I can't find it here in the carnival...because it's on top of Mount 'Climb Up and Fall Off'. *runs up the mountain and falls off then runs back to SpongeBob* It wasn't there either!
SpongeBob: Are you sure? 
[Peter runs up the mountain and falls off again; SpongeBob uses his walkie-talkie to tell Sandy something] 
SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Sandy, you can bring it in now.
[Sandy is using a whip to shoo the scallops away]
Sandy: Uhh, SpongeBob, we got ourselves a little problem. I got a pack of chocolate-eating scallops trying to rustle the balloon! Hi-yah! Get away, you sweet-toothed varmints! Hi-yah! I'm going to be a little late!
SpongeBob: Late? But what about... 
[Peter still jumping on and off mountain] 
SpongeBob: ...Peter?
Sandy: Hing-ya! Take him up to the Ferris wheel and I'll meet you there! Sandy out!
SpongeBob: *puts away the walkie-talkie* If Peter doesn't get his valentine... *screams*
[Peter suddenly appears from behind, all bruised]
Peter: I'm pretty sure it's not up there, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Peter! Uhh, actually it's on the Ferris...
Peter: Ferris wheel! *he grabs SpongeBob and runs toward it* 
[cut to them on the Ferris wheel being brought to the top] 
Peter: I'm ready for the greatest Valentine's present in the whole world now, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Well, this is where you're gonna get it...I hope. Just keep looking out there, pal. *talks to Sandy again on the walkie-talkie* SpongeBob to Sandy, SpongeBob to Sandy, come in, Sandy! 
[Sandy is still fighting the chocolate eating scallops]
Sandy: Sandy to SpongeBob, I got my ox in a ditch here! I'm way off course! The scallops are eating the balloon! They're everywhere! 
[One scallop bites the balloon and the air goes out and it floats down]
Sandy: Aw, shoot! We're going down, SpongeBob! Switch to plan B!
SpongeBob: No, no, B, Sandy! No, B! 
[Peter is smiling big waiting for his surprise] 
SpongeBob: Uh, Peter, you know how sometimes you plan something special and things don't just work out?
Peter: No...no...eh-gee! Holy shit! Is it hot up here or what?! 
[Peter rips off his shirt and moves the ferris wheel seats back and forth and then up and down. Next, the ferris wheel is jumping up and down and then SpongeBob puts out his hand/arm]
SpongeBob: Peter, here it is!
Peter: *stares at SpongeBob's hand/arm* What's that?
SpongeBob: It's a handshake...a friendly handshake.
Peter: A handshake? That's the big gift? You got me a handshake?
SpongeBob: A friendly handshake. Happy Valentine's Day!
[Peter shakes his hand and stares it and makes a grumpy looking face. SpongeBob laughs and throughout their playtime in the carnival, Peter has the same grumpy look on his face. Later, the scene cuts to them sitting on the bench.]
Peter: I've been thinking. At first, a handshake doesn't seem like much, but really it's the thought that counts… 
[a woman walks up with a box shaped like a heart full of chocolates in her arms]
Fran: Hey, SpongeBob, I just wanted to thank you for this box of chocolates.
SpongeBob: Uh, no problem, Fran. 
[Fran walks off]
Peter: And even though I was expecting more... 
[a man with roses walks up]
Dave: Thanks for the roses, SpongeBob. Happy Valentine's Day.
SpongeBob: You too, Dave. 
[Dave walks off]
Peter: And not that it matters that we've been friends for so long... 
[some woman walks by with a bike]
Female Fish: Hey, SpongeBob, thanks for the bike! *talking to Peter* Can you believe this guy? I just met him this morning!
[Peter begins to fume]
Peter: So, as I was saying...
Male Fish: Excuse me, do you guys have the time?
Peter: *turns red in anger, snaps and yells with rage, which is followed by him picking up and throwing the fish across the screen*
[House of Horror music starts playing] 
Peter: Peter needs love, too! 
[Peter goes psycho freaky. A crashing sound is heard. He furiously bangs his stomach like a gorilla, grunts angrily as he runs closer towards the screen, angrily approaches a balloon cart, then furiously cuts the balloon strings from a salesman and furiously smashes the balloon cart with his buttocks. Cut to a scene where children play with a guy in a heart suit; the children run off as Peter approaches] 
Peter: I defy you, Heart man! 
[Peter angrily rips the suit in half and continues his rampage]
P.A. System: Attention everyone, there's a chubby pink starfish on the loose! 
[everyone runs screaming; Peter sees a twirl-around ride that has hearts on it and goes mad over it]
Peter: Heart on stick must die! *goes to the pole and tries to pick it up, but gives up eventually in tiredness; he sees a little girl eating a heart-shaped lollipop and turns red in anger* Heart on stick must die! *grabs it, breaks it, and stuffs it in his mouth*
[The girl screams as Peter takes the lollipop.]
SpongeBob: *gasps* Peter!
Peter: *Turns around with an evil look on his face; angrily grumbles gibberish, making everyone scared and run to a dead-end at the Goo Lagoon dock; Peter roars with rage* Huaaagh!
[Everyone gets scared.]
Peter: Give me SpongeBob! 
[SpongeBob is thrown in front of the group of citizens]
SpongeBob: *laughs nervously*
Peter: You broke my heart! Now I'm gonna break something of yours!
SpongeBob: Okay, Peter, I know I deserve this. *notes the crowd* But, do they?
Peter: They didn't get me anything either! 
[They throw a pile of gifts at Peter's feet]
Peter: Nope, it's too late for that now... for all of you! 
[Peter walks onto and over the gifts, about to kill everyone, starting with SpongeBob. The citizens take a step back and SpongeBob is scared]
Sandy: *whipping the scallops as she lands in the carnival with the balloon and letting scallops go* Yee-haw! Get along, little shellfish! Gallop, you scallops!
SpongeBob: Yeah! Sandy's here! Woo-hoo! *jumps up and down and points behind Peter* Look, Peter, it's here! It's here! The best Valentine in the whole wide world is right behind you! 
Peter: *ignores SpongeBob* Sure it is.
SpongeBob: I'm telling you, it's right there! Turn around!
Peter: Uh-uh.
SpongeBob: Peter, just turn around! 
[Peter still wouldn't listen. Everyone is yelling at Peter to turn around, but he doesn't]
Crowd: Turn around! You nincompoop! Why you!
Peter: You must think I'm pretty dumb, huh?
Crowd: Yes! Turn around!
Peter: No.
Crowd: Turn around! Turn around!
Peter: Nuh-uh. I'm gonna say this once and I'm not going to say it again, so pay attention. I am not, I repeat, not going to turn around for any reason...ever!
Sandy: Howdy, Peter!
Peter: *turns around* Hi, Sandy! *notices the chocolate balloon, then is confused and speaks gibberish*
SpongeBob: Happy Valentine's Day, Peter! 
[Peter jumps for joy and jumps on the balloon]
Peter: Yay! My valentine! Hey, is this solid chocolate?
SpongeBob: Peter, no! 
[Peter bites the balloon and chocolate explodes everywhere. SpongeBob and Peter are in the mess]
Peter: Aw, SpongeBob... you didn't have to get me anything.
[fades out; cut back to Hell]
Satan: That was just Valentine’s Day.
Zoltan: I know.
Satan: I CAN’T BEAR YOU ANYMORE! *kicks up Zoltan to the Griffin household*
[cut to the Griffin household]
Zoltan: Wow, this is the Family Guy house! So kool.
[Peter walks in]
Peter: I know.
the end
== Ad ==
AD: read Peter Griffin meets SpongeBob: The Movie, Peter Griffin meets SpongeBob:The Movie: The Christmas Special, and Peter Griffin meets SpongeBob: The Movie 2: Partners in Crime (when it comes out) too.
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