Editing 3

= Book 2 =
== Chapter 15 == 
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Potential PLOTHOLE 	800km long with two ward stones every 5 meters. According to the book that is 320,000 stones.
Is that correct?	 	
in our total destruction, not our ascension. 	in our total destruction, not our ascension." 	closing " missing 	
tomorrow be our greatest allies. 	tomorrow be our greatest allies." 	closing " missing 	
in our total destruction, not our ascension. 	in our total destruction, not our ascension." 	closing " missing 	
rituals of Merlin have faded. 	rituals of Merlin have faded." 	closing " missing 	
applied her viscous intellect 	applied her vicious intellect 	 	
Platform Nine and 3/4 was a marvel 	Platform Nine and Three-Quarters was a marvel 	Avoid mixing words and numbers 	
hidden for the entire eight-hundred kilometre 	hidden for the entire eight-hundred-kilometre 	hyphen missing 	
Muggle repelling charms 	Muggle-repelling charms 	not sure 	
crossed the five metre wide 	crossed the five-metre wide 	 	
in an eight-hundred kilometre subterranean 	in an eight-hundred-kilometre subterranean 	 	
newest toy, a back-mirrored hand of glory. 	newest toy, a black-mirrored hand of glory. 	not sure 	
of the 19th century building, 	of the 19th-century building, 	 	
back on the offending news stand, 	back on the offending newsstand, 	 	
Harry's silver lightening bolt ring rested 	Harry's silver lightning bolt ring rested 	 	
Two red headed boys, 	Two red-headed boys, 	 	
her shoulder and onto the the table. 	her shoulder and onto the table. 	one too many 	
That does't mean I'm glad 	That doesn't mean I'm glad 	 	
He bowed to the slightly flat faced 	He bowed to the slightly flat-faced 	 	
of fourth or fifth year girl's arms 	of fourth- or fifth-year girl's arms 	 	
known the bushy haired witch to 	known the bushy-haired witch to 	 	
rather then befriend them." 	rather than befriend them." 	 	
Her tongue felt like sand paper. 	Her tongue felt like sandpaper. 	 	
and with the faint click clack 	and with the faint click-clack 	 	
For five-hundred years, families 	For five hundred years, families 	 	
made a double fisted jerk downwards, 	made a double-fisted jerk downwards, 	 	
and excited the compartment without turning around. 	and exited the compartment without turning around. 	 	
in six years of so called 'friendship', 	in six years of so-called 'friendship', 	 	
After sometime of this, 	After some time of this, 	 	
along the train-line's edge. 	along the train line's edge. 	 	
single, twinkly eyed smirk. 	single, twinkly-eyed smirk. 	 	
The train click clacked. The floor vibrated 	The train click-clacked. The floor vibrated 	 	
face with blood shot eyes and 	face with bloodshot eyes and 	 	
Immediately the tear stains and blood shot 	Immediately the tear stains and bloodshot 	 	
"Its okay, Lisa. You can do this." 	"It's okay, Lisa. You can do this." 	 	
That good will had lasted until 	That goodwill had lasted until 	 	
There was a audible intake 	There was an audible intake 	 	
The open-seating carriage were the most extreme. 	The open-seating carriage was the most extreme. 	Maybe you meant carriages 	
and was nearly at the middle of the train, 	and was nearly in the middle of the train, 	 	
The Gryffindor glanced to her, saw the crest, 	The Gryffindor glanced at her, saw the crest, 	 	
Heaven forbid someone take the 	Heaven forbid someone takes the 	 	
In the hand not gripping the broomstick he held his newest toy,	In the hand not gripping the broomstick, he held his newest toy,	 	
Yes he could fly without one, 	Yes, he could fly without one, 	 	
we would of course have 	we would, of course, have 	 	
"No it doesn't, Fred." 	"No, it doesn't, Fred." 	 	
For the last three years she'd never gone 	For the last three years, she'd never gone 	 	
Hopefully some of the others have 	Hopefully, some of the others have 	 	
before she joined Malfoy shouldn't she? 	before she joined Malfoy, shouldn't she? 	 	
Otherwise they wouldn't see each other 	Otherwise, they wouldn't see each other 	 	
Eventually the blonde gestured 	Eventually, the blonde gestured 	 	
Obviously she wasn't going to be in the first 	Obviously, she wasn't going to be in the first 	 	
Obviously Hermione wasn't going to 	Obviously, Hermione wasn't going to 	 	
"In this compartment we have four females and four 	"In this compartment, we have four females and four 	 	
"Ah, it's nothing, Heiress Greengrass." Nott muttered. 	"Ah, it's nothing, Heiress Greengrass," Nott muttered. 	 	
"That was friendly and cautious was it? 	"That was friendly and cautious, was it? 	 	
Eventually he asked again. 	Eventually, he asked again. 	 	
I can help you Lisa." 	I can help you, Lisa." 	 	
That would work wouldn't it? 	That would work, wouldn't it? 	 	
Eventually Lisa returned the hug 	Eventually, Lisa returned the hug 	 	
They did after all, abandon me." 	They did, after all, abandon me." 	 	
With each furious cry an overpowered spell dented, 	With each furious cry, an overpowered spell dented, 	 	
some of the others have lightened there's. 	some of the others have lightened theirs. 	 	
dumping-him-at-the-Dursleys 	dumping-him-at-the-Dursleys' 	 	
Blaze smirked. "I'll put a sickle 	Blaise smirked. "I'll put a sickle 	 	
he Hogwarts great hal 	he Hogwarts Great Hall 	 	
to the magical edge 	to their magical limits 	 	
he young potter heir didn't 	he young Potter heir didn't 	 	
"Fire whisky?" He started pouring a dram. 	"Firewhisky?" He started pouring a dram. 	 	
Did yon get that? 	Did you get that? 	 	
had to hide, not only the platform 	had to hide not only the platform 	Remove comma 	
a city of eight-million muggles 	a city of eight million muggles 	Remove hyphen 	
anyone crossed the five metre wide slice 	anyone crossed the five-metre-wide slice 	Two hyphens 	
to ward a four square kilometre strip 	to ward a four-square-kilometre strip 	Hyphens 	
and eight-hundred kilometres long 	and eight hundred kilometres long 	Remove hyphen 	
on his trusty nimbus 1700 broomstick 	on his trusty Nimbus 1700 broomstick 	Capitalize 	
At one-hundred kilometres per hour 	At one hundred kilometres per hour 	Remove hyphen 	
stood with her parents in Kings Cross Station 	stood with her parents in King's Cross Station 	Apostrophe 	
"You ready, Sweetie?" 	"You ready, sweetie?" 	Lowercase 	
her trunk and raptor ladened trolley 	her trunk and raptor-ladened trolley 	Hyphen 	
present the other to The-Boy-Who-Lived 	present the other to the boy-who-lived 	Lowercase / Remove hyphen 	
She unlocked the lid, pocked her head out 	She unlocked the lid, poked her head out 	Typo 	
She looked down. Two red headed boys 	She looked down. Two redheaded boys 	Should be one word 	
You know its very rude to interfere 	You know it's very rude to interfere 	Apostrophe 	
The brown haired girl entered the compartment 	The brown-haired girl entered the compartment 	Hyphen 	
after the great feast, tonight 	after the great feast tonight 	Remove comma 	
As to why I'm here…I'm shopping 	As to why I'm here… I'm shopping 	Space 	
He'd started at the second to first compartment 	He'd started at the second-to-first compartment 	Two hyphens 	
so typical of his red-headed friend 	so typical of his redheaded friend 	Should be one word 	
the Gray seem to hold the same beliefs 	the Gray seems to hold the same beliefs 	Not sure 	
quick marched back to the first compartment 	quickly marched back to the first compartment 	Alternatively, add a hyphen 	
The blonde haired boy shot him 	The blond-haired boy shot him 	Typo and hyphen 	
and overtime proved ourselves worthy 	and over time proved ourselves worthy 	Space 	
for five-hundred years we've lived without 	for five hundred years we've lived without 	Remove hyphen 	
who, five-hundred years ago 	who, five hundred years ago 	Remove hyphen 	
obviously more advanced then he'd expect 	obviously more advanced than he'd expect 	Typo 	
For the last one-hundred years 	For the last one hundred years 	Remove hyphen 	
to give up twice as much." 	to give up twice as much. 	Closing quote is unnecessary with continuous tell	
My family is over five-thousand years old 	My family is over five thousand years old 	Remove hyphen 	
Potter…you told me before 	Potter… you told me before 	Space 	
I…I am Richard Quincy 	I… I am Richard Quincy 	Space 	
both my and my families gratitude 	both my and my family's gratitude 	Typo 	
Already did that with a pair of red-headed Gryffindor 	Already did that with a pair of redheaded Gryffindor 	Should be one word 	
retrieving things from her mind-scape library 	retrieving things from her mindscape library 	Should be one word 	
studied it for a split-second 	studied it for a split second 	Remove hyphen 	
It was time to meet the fake-boy-who-lived 	It was time to meet the fake boy-who-lived 	Remove hyphen 	
considerably more grace then he remembered 	considerably more grace than he remembered 	Typo 	
a vassalage done for nearly two-hundred years 	a vassalage done for nearly two hundred years 	Remove hyphen 	
out of whatever horror induced spell 	out of whatever horror-induced spell 	Hyphen 	
Err…no of course not, I just… 	Err… no of course not, I just… 	Space 	
I'm…I'm sorry, Susan. I was just shocked 	I'm… I'm sorry, Susan. I was just shocked 	Space 	
She opened the door walked through and slid it shut 	She opened the door, walked through, and slid it shut 	Two commas 	
swept down the corridor, a head-strong 	swept down the corridor, a headstrong 	Should be one word 	
silk and emerald green trimming 	silk and emerald-green trimming 	Hyphen 	
as polite as his blood supremacist bigotry 	as polite as his blood-supremacist bigotry 	Hyphen 	
to reveal the shoulder length red-hair 	to reveal the shoulder-length red hair 	Add one hyphen and remove the other 	
present my and my friend's apologies 	present my and my friends' apologies 	Move apostrophe 	
the pack exploded again sending cards 	the pack exploded again, sending cards 	Comma 	
run over a magical lay line 	run over a magical ley line 	Not sure 	
a tear stained face with blood shot eyes 	a tear-stained face with bloodshot eyes 	Add hyphen and make "bloodshot" one word 	
"I…I must go!" 	"I… I must go!" 	Space 	
He reached the open seating carriage 	He reached the open-seating carriage 	Hyphen 	
just how extreme his peer's reactions had been 	just how extreme his peers' reactions had been 	Move apostrophe 	
the Hogwarts Express's few open seating areas 	the Hogwarts Express's few open-seating areas 	Hyphen 	
quirked into an almost cheeky grin 	quirked into an almost-cheeky grin 	Hyphen 	
the effort to meet their long lost child 	the effort to meet their long-lost child 	Hyphen 	
McGonagall gave them the house as family speech 	McGonagall gave them the house-as-family speech 	Two hyphens 	
five purebloods, two halfbloods 	five purebloods, two half-bloods 	Hyphen 	
most definitely the Boy-Who-Lived 	most definitely the boy-who-lived 	Lowercase 	
another confused Boy-Who-Lived worshipper 	another confused boy-who-lived worshipper 	Lowercase 	
squib twin of the Boy-Who-Lived 	squib twin of the boy-who-lived 	Lowercase 	
slipped into the now empty bathroom 	slipped into the now-empty bathroom 	Hyphen 	
a super cunning Slytherin plan 	a super-cunning Slytherin plan 	Hyphen 	
platform Nine and 3/4 was sealed off 	Platform Nine and Three-Quarters was sealed off 	Capitalize and change to only words 	
no-one 	no one 	Multiple occurrences 	
He was sweating, his eyes dilated." 	He was sweating, his eyes dilated." 	remove appostroph 	
and excited the compartment without 	and exited the compartment without 	 	
Blaze smirked. "I'll put a sickle 	Blaise smirked. "I'll put a sickle 	 	
== Chapter 16 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
doing any else 	doing anything else 	 	
"Bulsrode, Millicent."
"Slytherin!" 	"Bulstrode, Millicent."
"Slytherin!" 	 	
, you will no be happy with the result. 	, you will not be happy with the result. 	letter missing 	
like larva through rock 	like lava through rock 	 	
second group all wore custom made robes. 	second group all wore custom-made robes. 	 	
their dark skinned comrade. 	their dark-skinned comrade. 	 	
towards high calorie fats, carbs, 	towards high-calorie fats, carbs, 	 	
If you wish to tryout for your house team, 	If you wish to try out for your house team, 	 	
on the third floor corridor 	on the third-floor corridor 	 	
corridor on the right hand side. 	corridor on the right-hand side. 	 	
That included the red headed twins 	That included the red-headed twins 	 	
"bed time — off you trot." 	"bedtime — off you trot." 	 	
you will no be happy with the result. 	you will not be happy with the result. 	 	
scrambled out of the silk sheeted bed 	scrambled out of the silk-sheeted bed 	 	
over an official looking parchment. 	over an official-looking parchment. 	 	
and one last medium sized sphere 	and one last medium-sized sphere 	 	
"Any one else?" 	"Anyone else?" 	 	
towards the black board again. 	towards the blackboard again. 	 	
"The system on the left hand side 	"The system on the left-hand side 	 	
clue them in to the power he now wielded over them? 	clue them into the power he now wielded over them? 	 	
into the fire place. 	into the fireplace. 	 	
there is more going on here then just a 	there is more going on here than just a 	 	
gave her his twinkly eyed smile. 	gave her his twinkly-eyed smile. 	 	
to sit down in the two arm chairs opposite 	to sit down in the two armchairs opposite 	 	
An where did yon get that?" 	An' where did you get that?" 	two mistakes 	
wife with a wide eyed stare. 	wife with a wide-eyed stare. 	 	
he'd fallen on a well manicured grass lawn 	he'd fallen on a well-manicured grass lawn 	 	
we don't have one of those hour glasses." 	we don't have one of those hourglasses." 	 	
into a well appointed goblin office. 	into a well-appointed goblin office. 	 	
A large, well dressed goblin wearing 	A large, well-dressed goblin wearing 	 	
and smiled a twenty-four carat smile. 	and smiled a twenty-four-carat smile. 	 	
they didn't even bother to enquire further. 	they didn't even bother to inquire further. 	 	
the image of his long dead sister, 	the image of his long-dead sister, 	 	
Dumbledore took off his moon shaped glasses 	Dumbledore took off his moon-shaped glasses 	 	
using were fourth year spells, 	using were fourth-year spells, 	 	
Not any more. Not with 	Not anymore. Not with 	 	
the core of a fifteen year old 	the core of a fifteen-year-old 	 	
to sink in their parents political 	to sink in their parents' political 	 	
had now showed his true colours 	had now shown his true colours 	 	
Around her the sounds of the older years's laughing 	Around her the sounds of the older years' laughing 	 	
travelling back over the assembled students. 	travelling back to the assembled students. 	not sure 	
longer. Bed was calling. 	longer. The bed was calling. 	not sure 	
and my parents full confidence, 	and my parents' full confidence, 	 	
and pointed his wand into a spot a few 	and pointed his wand at a spot a few 	 	
"Twilfitt and Tatting's. Nice, aren't they?" 	"Twilfitt and Tattings. Nice, aren't they?" 	source 	
What he really needed was a iron clad 	What he really needed was an iron clad 	not sure 	
fought not to look to Harry for praise. 	fought not to look at Harry for praise. 	not sure 	
and one weeks detention 	and one week's detention 	maybe without the 's as an alternative 	
he'd have the core of twenty year old. 	he'd have the core of a twenty-year-old. 	 	
"Well, of course I also hope it won't be…" 	"Well, of course, I also hope it won't be…" 	 	
but in her fatigue it came out more as a shuffle. 	but in her fatigue, it came out more as a shuffle. 	 	
With any luck they'd be 	With any luck, they'd be 	 	
Well, all except Harry of course, she mentally added. 	Well, all except Harry, of course, she mentally added. 	 	
Around her the sounds of the older 	Around her, the sounds of the older 	 	
magical exhaustion was it? 	magical exhaustion, was it? 	 	
Eventually the healer made her way 	Eventually, the healer made her way 	 	
"In public we can act as social convention 	"In public, we can act as social convention 	 	
Over the next seven years you will learn all the basics you 	Over the next seven years, you will learn all the basics you 	 	
Eventually the bottom sphere filled up. 	Eventually, the bottom sphere filled up. 	 	
"Although, now I think about it, 	"Although, now that I think about it, 	 	
McGonagall froze. "Mrs. Granger?" 	McGonagall froze. "Mrs Granger?" 	 	
said the now identified Mrs. Granger. 	said the now identified Mrs Granger. 	 	
All Mrs. to Mrs 	 	 	
All Mr. to Mr 	 	 	
Eventually she sat down and took a deep 	Eventually, she sat down and took a deep 	 	
Well, of course she is. 	Well, of course, she is. 	 	
so presumably she was still with the Grangers. 	so presumably, she was still with the Grangers. 	 	
"Thank you Messrs Thomas and Finnigan. 	"Thank you, Messrs Thomas and Finnigan. 	 	
the general transfiguration spell." McGonagall said, 	the general transfiguration spell," McGonagall said, 	 	
One Hufflepuff girl in particular didn't look well. 	One Hufflepuff girl, in particular, didn't look well. 	 	
Eventually he looked away. 	Eventually, he looked away. 	 	
And he knew he was beyond the top tier of power for his year to begin with.	And he knew he was beyond the top tier of power for his year, to begin with.	 	
He glanced backward to look 	He glanced backwards to look 	with s is apparently British English 	
it might act as to interfere 	it might act as to interfere 	 	
surveying his just as great house 	surveying his just-as-great house 	Two hyphens 	
Professor McGonagall lead the first years 	Professor McGonagall led the first years 	Typo 	
some of our more well known young charges 	some of our more well-known young charges 	Hyphen 	
they don't expect pepper up 	they don't expect pepper-up 	Hyphen 	
the line of unsorted students." 	the line of unsorted students. 	Remove extraneous closing quote 	
… And the robes… 	…And the robes… 	Remove space 	
ready to fall asleep…" 	ready to fall asleep… 	Remove extraneous closing quote 	
"I am a —she stifled a yawn— a… vassal 	"I am a"—she stifled a yawn—"a… vassal 	Add quotes and remove spaces around em-dashes 	
Second class citizens, fit only to serve 	Second-class citizens, fit only to serve 	Hyphen 	
Tom's hate and fear filled childhood 	Tom's hate- and fear-filled childhood 	Hyphens 	
Amazingly, the young potter heir 	Amazingly, the young Potter heir 	Capitalize 	
The girls all clapped their dark skinned comrade. 	The girls all clapped for their dark-skinned comrade. 	Add word and hyphen 	
Make sure you get a good nights sleep 	Make sure you get a good night's sleep 	Apostrophe 	
stopping at every tired looking student 	stopping at every tired-looking student 	Hyphen 	
the properties of the target, after-all 	the properties of the target, after all 	Remove hyphen 	
"Of course, Dear." 	"Of course, dear." 	Lowercase 	
the lack of low sugar dessert options 	the lack of low-sugar dessert options 	Hyphen 	
started a chaos filled cacophony 	started a chaos-filled cacophony 	Hyphen 	
That included the red headed twins 	That included the redheaded twins 	Should be one word 	
his two-faced face. "bed time 	his two-faced face, "bed time 	Change to comma (alternatively, capitalize "Bed")	
of elegance, and…breeding 	of elegance, and… breeding 	Space 	
stripped off her brand new dressing gown 	stripped off her brand-new dressing gown 	Hyphen 	
lowering it into her snake filled pocket 	lowering it into her snake-filled pocket 	Hyphen 	
the Headmaster is your magical guardian 	the headmaster is your magical guardian 	Lowercase 	
McGonagall's speech was breathy." Do you 	McGonagall's speech was breathy. "Do you 	Move space to before quote instead of after 	
turned and gave the now shocked professor 	turned and gave the now-shocked professor 	Hyphen 	
the single tube which lead 	the single tube which led 	Typo 	
the sphere containing the green coloured liquid 	the sphere containing the green-coloured liquid 	Hyphen 	
high 'natural reluctance' — Something you'll learn 	high 'natural reluctance' — something you'll learn 	Lowercase 	
class — So, to combat this 	class — so, to combat this 	Lowercase 	
glowing green liquid that lead to an empty 	glowing green liquid that led to an empty 	Typo 	
What determines our flamelage, Sir? 	What determines our flamelage, sir? 	Lowercase 	
produced her brand new hazel 	produced her brand-new hazel 	Hyphen 	
The dimmed classroom lit up. Illuminated by 	The dimmed classroom lit up, illuminated by 	Change to comma 	
Once those reserves were used up 	"Once those reserves were used up 	Add opening quote 	
the lumos spell eventually dimmed. 	the lumos spell eventually dimmed." 	Add closing quote 	
Not without the Grangers willing assistance 	Not without the Grangers' willing assistance 	Apostrophe 	
"That's the Grangers house, Albus." 	"That's the Grangers' house, Albus." 	Apostrophe 	
A well dressed young woman stood 	A well-dressed young woman stood 	Hyphen 	
said the now identified Mrs. Granger 	said the now-identified Mrs. Granger 	Hyphen 	
The woman turned and lead them away 	The woman turned and led them away 	Typo 	
he graciously passed on a half dozen bottles 	he graciously passed on a half-dozen bottles 	Hyphen 	
If…If Albus did try to use legilimency 	If… If Albus did try to use legilimency 	Space 	
he really needed was a iron clad reason 	he really needed was an ironclad reason 	Should be one word, and change "a" to "an" 	
baring him from speaking with Miss Granger 	barring him from speaking with Miss Granger 	Typo 	
dodging their presumed teacher based reprimand 	dodging their presumed teacher-based reprimand 	Hyphen 	
The late student's faces fell 	The late students' faces fell 	Move apostrophe 	
on the desk in front her 	on the desk in front of her 	Missing word 	
the majority of our time with." You may well 	the majority of our time with. You may well 	Remove extraneous quote 	
General transfiguration spell - lifetime to master 	General transfiguration spell — lifetime to master 	Change hyphen to em-dash 	
She looked over at the red-headed boy 	She looked over at the redheaded boy 	Should be one word 	
to match the iron's transfiguration time. 	to match the iron's transfiguration time." 	Add closing quote 	
The surprised form of professor McGonagall 	The surprised form of Professor McGonagall 	Capitalize 	
The professor's eyebrows raised 	The professor's eyebrows rose 	Typo 	
The Goldtooths were well named." 	The Goldtooths were well named. 	Remove extraneous quote 	
Goldtooth grinned again. "None what so ever 	Goldtooth grinned again. "None whatsoever 	Should be one word 	
in front of a large ornate looking mirror 	in front of a large ornate-looking mirror 	Hyphen 	
and his still living brother 	and his still-living brother 	Hyphen 	
shake of his ancient beard ladened head 	shake of his ancient beard-ladened head 	Hyphen 	
If John was this powerful, It was likely 	If John was this powerful, it was likely 	Lowercase 	
the Gryffindor first year dorms 	the Gryffindor first-year dorms 	Hyphen 	
He couldn't rely on anyone else. Not any more 	He couldn't rely on anyone else. Not anymore 	Should be one word 	
Of course. The Greengrass Heiress 	Of course. The Greengrass heiress 	Lowercase 	
To serve the young Heiress 	To serve the young heiress 	Lowercase 	
collapsed form of the Longbottom Heir 	collapsed form of the Longbottom heir 	Lowercase 	
The Greengrass Heiress hesitated 	The Greengrass heiress hesitated 	Lowercase 	
the last war with the dark lord 	the last war with the Dark Lord 	Capitalized when referring to Voldemort 	
The stern professor's eyes flustered 	The stern professor's eyes fluttered 	Typo 	
He flicked the extra large trunk 	He flicked the extra-large trunk 	Hyphen 	
to persuade Nicholas to entrust him 	to persuade Nicolas to entrust him 	Typo 	
Nicholas, you truly are a demon 	Nicolas, you truly are a demon 	Typo 	
final addition to Nicholas' work 	final addition to Nicolas' work 	Typo 	
pulse shoot up the elder wand into his body 	pulse shoot up the Elder Wand into his body 	 	
Fire whisky? 	Firewhisky? 	Source 	
These nails weight 	These nails weigh 	 	
he one of those hour glasses 	he one of those hourglasses 	 	
The Goldtooths were well named." 	The Goldtooths were well named." 	remove appostroph 	
== Chapter 17 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Plothole 	"When has this mysterious lord ever shown up to anything? I don't think he's real! He's never even been in the prophet once!	He has been in the Grail Mail Bonus Chapter 1. Change it to Wizengamot instead of prophet.	
fat and squat head of Hufflepuff house, 	fat and squat head of Hufflepuff House, 	 	
honour to the house of Volf. 	honour to the House of Volf. 	 	
down her wand and loosed a bight red stunner 	down her wand and loosed a bright red stunner 	 	
your nose while you breath out through 	your nose while you breathe out through 	 	
Daphne's lightening bolt ring vibrated. 	Daphne's lightning bolt ring vibrated. 	 	
save our second year duellist from dealing 	save our second-year duellist from dealing 	 	
all the other first year candidates. 	all the other first-year candidates. 	 	
died in a half strangled squeal, 	died in a half-strangled squeal, 	 	
There are gender specific wards 	There are gender-specific wards 	 	
have the wild wand waving of other 	have the wild wand-waving of other 	 	
sorrow is a wizard bred plant 	sorrow is a wizard-bred plant 	 	
A chair scrapped on the stone 	A chair scraped on the stone 	 	
"As an agitent, Professor." 	"As an agitant, Professor." 	 	
trying to get a raise out of Granger. 	trying to get a rise out of Granger. 	 	
I'm going to take my practise a lot 	I'm going to take my practice a lot 	 	
used to all this nobbyness, kay?" 	used to all this nobbiness, kay?" 	 	
to the third floor corridor on 	to the third-floor corridor on 	 	
on the right hand side, 	on the right-hand side, 	 	
floating in mid air just above the stone 	floating in mid-air just above the stone 	 	
a combination of occlumency practise 	a combination of occlumency practice 	 	
throwing accusations and counter accusations.	throwing accusations and counter-accusations. 	 	
In front of her, harry had his wand pointed 	In front of her, Harry had his wand pointed 	 	
far side of the class-room by the 	far side of the classroom by the 	 	
The wavy haired bookworm slowly 	The wavy-haired bookworm slowly 	 	
leaving him open to counter attack. 	leaving him open to counter-attack. 	 	
Harry landed in the bench in front of her. 	Harry landed on the bench in front of her. 	 	
An stray incarcerous finally 	A stray incarcerous finally 	 	
but in the end I decided not to bother." 	but in the end, I decided not to bother." 	 	
"Pleased to meet you Miss Turpin. 	"Pleased to meet you, Miss Turpin. 	 	
"Yes and we need to find out what that is." 	"Yes, and we need to find out what that is." 	 	
In fact he looked apoplectic. 	In fact, he looked apoplectic. 	 	
Eventually John Potter burst 	Eventually, John Potter burst 	 	
and still the magic flowed. 	and still, the magic flowed. 	 	
"Oh no you don't." 	"Oh no, you don't." 	 	
And still it went on. 	And still, it went on. 	 	
Eventually it stopped. 	Eventually, it stopped. 	 	
It will revert at 9:00am. 	It will revert at 9:00 am. 	space missing 	
Sophie smile turned to confusion. 	Sophie's smile turned to confusion. 	 	
up the back of hands 	up the back of her hands 	 	
form Slytherin and Hufflepuff  	from Slytherin and Hufflepuff  	 	
Kevin Entwistle  	Kevin Enthwistle  	source 	
hand and elbows 	hands and elbows 	 	
gaped 	gasped 	 	
She swallowed an errand choke 	She swallowed an errant choke 	 	
She followed Harry departing figure, 	She followed Harry's departing figure, 	 	
all this nobbyness, kay? 	all this nobbyness, 'kay? 	 	
we're going to need this any time soon 	we're going to need this anytime soon 	Should be one word 	
one jelly legs jinx, and one more stunner 	one jelly-legs jinx, and one more stunner 	Hyphen 	
against a protego, and the jelly legs jinx 	against a protego, and the jelly-legs jinx 	Hyphen 	
for the tournament in April. 	for the tournament in April." 	Add closing quote 	
Whops. 	Whoops. 	Typo 	
tied to Hogwart's own wards 	tied to Hogwarts' own wards 	Move apostrophe 	
and quickly head to herbology 	and quickly headed to herbology 	Typo 	
a workbench a half dozen metres 	a workbench a half-dozen metres 	Hyphen 	
shouting at the boy who lived 	shouting at the boy-who-lived 	Hyphens 	
the ranting burnt-brown haired girl 	the ranting burnt-brown-haired girl 	Hyphen 	
"I…I…" Her eyes started 	"I… I…" Her eyes started 	Space 	
The chair scrapped again 	The chair scraped again 	Typo 	
looked at the burnt-brown haired witch 	looked at the burnt-brown-haired witch 	Hyphen 	
their dim light across gray 	their dim light across grey 	Typo 	
still lingering fumes filling her lungs 	still-lingering fumes filling her lungs 	Hyphen 	
a simple boil cure potion require 	a simple boil-cure potion require 	Hyphen 	
Thirty-five if the moon is gibbous 	thirty-five if the moon is gibbous 	Lowercase 	
Harry had said the greasy haired professor 	Harry had said the greasy-haired professor 	Hyphen 	
The Headmaster is your magical guardian 	The headmaster is your magical guardian 	Lowercase 	
arrogant, cowardly, no name? 	arrogant, cowardly, no name?" 	Add closing quote 	
focused on the six foot of enemy 	focused on the six feet of enemy 	Typo 	
no damage will be done. 	no damage will be done." 	Add closing quote 	
a man with a hard to miss turban 	a man with a hard-to-miss turban 	Two hyphens 	
See you at Lunch? 	See you at lunch? 	Lowercase 	
Here you should record it too 	Here, you should record it too 	Comma 	
wood floating in mid air 	wood floating in midair 	Should be one word 	
indicated high core to body flamelage 	indicated high core-to-body flamelage 	Two hyphens 	
Slytherin had a high core to body flamelage 	Slytherin had a high core-to-body flamelage 	Two hyphens 	
The hard-core pure-blood-supremacist 	The hardcore pureblood supremacist 	Remove hyphens 	
He watched the boys departure 	He watched the boys' departure 	Apostrophe 	
tracking down a smell removing charm 	tracking down a smell-removing charm 	Hyphen 	
rapidly growing to do list 	rapidly growing to-do list 	Hyphen? 	
a stronger than normal smell of garlic 	a stronger-than-normal smell of garlic 	Two hyphens 	
her and the purple turbaned professor 	her and the purple-turbaned professor 	Hyphen 	
currently hosting the death damned soul 	currently hosting the Death-damned soul 	Hyphen, and maybe capitalize? 	
the blonde haired boy drawled 	the blond-haired boy drawled 	Typo and hyphen 	
before being lead away to the far 	before being led away to the far 	Typo 	
by the fake boy who lived 	by the fake boy-who-lived 	Hyphenate 	
into her silver lightning bolt ring 	into her silver lightning-bolt ring 	Hyphen 	
never even been in the prophet once 	never even been in the Prophet once 	Capitalize? 	
and the tact of a troll! 	and the tact of a troll!" 	Add closing quote 	
Granger's darted to the side 	Granger darted to the side 	Typo 	
long flowing emerald green robes 	long flowing emerald-green robes 	Hyphen 	
No-one moved 	No one moved 	Remove hyphen 	
I…I think I'll try my luck 	I… I think I'll try my luck 	Space 	
have agreed to extended class B rules 	have agreed to Extended Class B Rules 	Capitalize 	
several angry looking stone snakes 	several angry-looking stone snakes 	Hyphen 	
The deadly looking snakes lunged 	The deadly-looking snakes lunged 	Hyphen 	
fangs the length of her fore-arm 	fangs the length of her forearm 	Should be one word 	
the intention to cause grievous bodily harm 	the intent to cause grievous bodily harm 	Not sure 	
One jelly legs jinx and a stunner 	One jelly-legs jinx and a stunner 	Hyphen 	
dropped by a now back-on-his-feet Harry 	dropped by a now-back-on-his-feet Harry 	Hyphen 	
tugging the still bound Granger 	tugging the still-bound Granger 	Hyphen 	
kicking the still knocked out goons 	kicking the still-knocked out goons 	Hyphen 	
Early next morning, Hermione marched 	Early the next morning, Hermione marched 	Not sure 	
Extended Class B, indeed 	Extended class B, indeed 	Not sure 	
== Chapter 18 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Several minutes later, Harry pocketed a last boiled egg for later, rose from his chair,	Several minutes later, Harry pocketed a last boiled egg for later, rose from his chair,	 	
seemed to be his worst case scenario 	seemed to be his worst-case scenario 	 	
to protect Severus from his attentions. 	to protect Severus from his attention. 	 	
it when he did had been a master stroke. 	it when he did had been a masterstroke. 	 	
and total 180 degree turn from 	and total 180-degree turn from 	 	
for this period of self inflicted isolation 	for this period of self-inflicted isolation 	 	
into the resulting secret passage way. 	into the resulting secret passageway. 	 	
He walked though the fidelius charm and the wards 	He walked through the fidelius charm and the wards 	 	
He placed it in-front of a large stack 	He placed it in front of a large stack 	 	
He placed this one in-front of 	He placed this one in front of 	 	
of fast tracking Miss Granger 	of fast-tracking Miss Granger 	 	
statue on the mantle piece and sent a pulse 	statue on the mantlepiece and sent a pulse 	 	
aged to the mid twenties of 	aged to the mid-twenties of 	 	
We'd hopped that Hermione would keep 	We'd hoped that Hermione would keep 	 	
all powerful, and alter-aged 	all-powerful, and alter-aged 	 	
"Welcome to the tax paying community, 	"Welcome to the taxpaying community, 	 	
maybe 5% raising to 15% over three years." 	maybe 5% rising to 15% over three years." 	 	
in his Slytherin dorm four poster 	in his Slytherin dorm four-poster 	 	
the place with a ten foot staff. 	the place with a ten-foot staff. 	 	
The box shifted and became a snuff box 	The box shifted and became a snuff-box 	 	
at the main entrance way at 	at the main entranceway at 	 	
had been a freakin' cerberus. 	had been a freakin' Cerberus. 	 	
cross legged in a corner, 	cross-legged in a corner, 	 	
He shifted on the hard wood floor 	He shifted on the hardwood floor 	 	
and stared at the two red headed twins. 	and stared at the two red-headed twins. 	 	
just like every other book shelf. 	just like every other bookshelf. 	 	
revelling a confined stone passageway 	revealing a confined stone passageway 	 	
a glance at the ward work as they left. 	a glance at the ward-work as they left. 	 	
very impressive for almost fourteen year olds. 	very impressive for almost fourteen-year-olds. 	 	
surprise of the two red heads, 	surprise of the two redheads, 	 	
it wasn't through our secret passage way 	it wasn't through our secret passageway 	 	
They stalled, mid turn. 	They stalled, mid-turn. 	 	
well hidden secret passageway 	well-hidden secret passageway 	 	
It was also clear the map took it's readings 	It was also clear the map took its readings 	 	
a dot with a duel label of Quirinus Quirrell 	a dot with a dual label of Quirinus Quirrell 	 	
pacing a far flung study. 	pacing a far-flung study. 	 	
their independent occlumency practise was true. 	their independent occlumency practice was true. 	 	
an arrogant little toe rag." 	an arrogant little toerag." 	 	
instantaneous build up of magic 	instantaneous build-up of magic 	 	
The super high-dose ageing potion took affect, 	The super high-dose ageing potion took effect, 	 	
his true eleven year old body 	his true eleven-year-old body 	 	
of a seventy year old man 	of a seventy-year-old man 	 	
The polyjuice potion took affect, changing 	The polyjuice potion took effect, changing 	 	
this time in his mid twenties 	this time in his mid-twenties 	 	
The beautification potion took affect, 	The beautification potion took effect, 	 	
now on his face, with his finger tips 	now on his face, with his fingertips 	 	
Maybe you disapprove of my polices 	Maybe you disapprove of my policies 	 	
"I think it's self serving and short sighted." 	"I think it's self-serving and short-sighted." 	 	
me to the short sighted bit. 	me to the short-sighted bit. 	 	
to protect the wellbeing 	to protect the well-being 	 	
They were both group based. 	They were both group-based. 	 	
completing the effect of a well lived in drawing room. 	completing the effect of a well lived-in drawing-room. 	 	
and brought it to the masks lips. 	and brought it to the mask's lips. 	 	
Harry woke in his Slytherin dorm four poster 	Harry woke in his Slytherin-dorm four-poster 	 	
where people were did they? 	where people were, did they? 	 	
but she has being getting advanced 	but she has been getting advanced 	 	
I imagine to teach someone something like occlumency would take that. 	I imagine teaching someone something like occlumency would take that. 	 	
nd an eighth sickles a week? 	nd an eighth sickle a week? 	 	
Three points in particular stood out as 	Three points, in particular, stood out as 	 	
After all that's happened?" 	After all, that's happened?" 	 	
got him going did he? 	got him going, did he? 	 	
Eventually she spoke. 	Eventually, she spoke. 	 	
Certainly a lot had changed 	Certainly, a lot had changed 	 	
Macavity's feathers were as gray 	Macavity's feathers were as grey 	 	
Later next day, Dumbledore sat 	Later the next day, Dumbledore sat 	 	
if the looks of the other students were to go by 	were anything to go by 	 	
closely moulded on the Dark Lord 	closely modelled on the Dark Lord 	 	
inked his Phoenix feather quill 	inked his Phoenix-feather quill 	 	
few minutes of rinsing off later 	few minutes of rinsing-off later 	 	
The young Heir had such 	The young heir had such 	 	
quarter inch layer 	quarter-inch layer 	 	
left the Slytherin first years dorms 	left the Slytherin first-year dorms 	 	
period of self inflicted isolation 	period of self-inflicted isolation 	 	
and a dong of gong 	and the sound of a gong or a sounded gong 	 	
By the window, perched his owl, 	By the window perched his owl, 	remove comma 	
The last one was a small island in the Shetlands. 	The last one was a small island in the Orkneys. 	 	
identical green inked addresses 	identical green-inked addresses 	 	
in the formally desert like ballroom 	in the formerly desert like ballroom 	 	
a low table already ladened with bottles 	a low table already laden with bottles 	 	
took it selectively serious 	took it selectively seriously 	 	
described as big ass stones 	described as big-ass stones 	 	
in front of the classes quicker students 	in front of the class' quicker students 	 	
through his holly and phoenix feather wand 	phoenix-feather wand 	 	
the cardboard snuffbox back 	the cardboard snuff box back 	 	
at the main entrance way at 	at the main entranceway at 	 	
it never paid to be too careful 	it never hurt to be too careful 	 	
Ohhhh Bugger 	Ohhhh. Bugger 	dot missing 	
just as filch comes around 	just as Filch comes around 	 	
almost instantaneous build up of magic 	almost instantaneous build-up of magic 	 	
a single magical build up behind 	a single magical build-up behind 	 	
to inspect his handy work 	to inspect his handiwork 	 	
with his finger tips 	with his fingertips 	 	
and hugged him as best as she could 	and hugged him as best she could 	 	
or laws that I've helped passed 	or laws that I've helped pass 	 	
the job for which he is almost uniquely positioned for. 	double for, remove on 	 	
uninterested in reigning in the irate girl 	uninterested in reining-in the irate girl 	 	
picked up his phoenix feather quill, 	picked up his phoenix-feather quill, 	 	
what you're talking about Harry" 	what you're talking about Harry," 	 	
the Quibbler 	The Quibbler 	 	
The last one was a small island in the Shetlands 	The last one was a small island in the Orkneys 	 	
stood out as high emotion moments 	stood out as high-emotion moments 	Hyphen 	
a one of a kind, once in a lifetime find 	a one-of-a-kind, once-in-a-lifetime find 	Many hyphens 	
fuel and muscle building material 	fuel and muscle-building material 	Hyphen 	
who he'd singled out 	whom he'd singled out 	Typo 	
flanked by his two duelling team goons 	flanked by his two duelling-team goons 	Hyphen 	
He walked into History of Magic 	He walked into history of magic 	All other class names are lowercase 	
Not his of course 	Not his, of course 	Comma 	
with a small, Slytherin green iris 	with small, Slytherin-green irises 	Hyphen, remove "a", and make "iris" plural 	
three potential sites for Slytherin Hall 	three potential sites for Slytherin Manor 	This is the only chapter where it is called a hall	
begin their electives, however 	begin their electives. However 	Change to period 	
any time in the next few weeks 	anytime in the next few weeks 	Should be one word 	
out of their soft lit bedroom 	out of their softly lit bedroom 	Alternatively, add a hyphen 	
desert like ballroom 	desert-like ballroom 	Hyphen 	
a well lived in drawing room 	a well-lived-in drawing room 	Two hyphens 	
"You might want to check this out. 	"You might want to check this out." 	Add closing quote 	
Jacob lead the man over 	Jacob led the man over 	Typo 	
the unofficial tax collecting departments 	the unofficial tax-collecting departments 	Hyphen 	
the construction of Slytherin Hall 	the construction of Slytherin Manor 	This is the only chapter where it is called a hall	
The out of breath form of his brother 	The out-of-breath form of his brother 	Two hyphens 	
Time traveller John never took 	Time-traveller John never took 	Hyphen 	
a meeting with the Headmaster 	a meeting with the headmaster 	Lowercase 	
the twenty odd years that followed 	the twenty-odd years that followed 	Hyphen 	
reached for a likely looking title 	reached for a likely-looking title 	Hyphen 	
the two red headed twins 	the two redheaded twins 	Should be one word 	
All occurences of "Left twin" and "Right twin" 	left-twin/right-twin 	Hyphen and lowercase 	
"… But it seems that 	"…But it seems that 	Remove space 	
Pretty sloppy and home-made 	Pretty sloppy and homemade 	Should be one word 	
what looked like thrown away scrap 	what looked like thrown-away scrap 	Hyphen 	
legilimency and memory wipe job 	legilimency and memory-wipe job 	Hyphen 	
the much vaunted John Potter 	the much-vaunted John Potter 	Hyphen 	
John Potter, the boy who lived 	John Potter, the boy-who-lived 	Hyphenate 	
the magical world, we thought— 	the magical world, we thought—" 	Add closing quote 	
section of the Hogwarts Library 	section of the Hogwarts library 	Lowercase 	
turned the castle inside out 	turned the castle inside-out 	Hyphen 	
didn't show parseltongue only secret passageways 	didn't show parseltongue-only secret passageways 	Hyphen 	
George mock punched him 	George mock-punched him 	Hyphen 	
its bent-over wheeze fest 	its bent-over wheeze-fest 	Hyphen 	
It wasn't the best looking face 	It wasn't the best-looking face 	Hyphen 	
inside a parseltongue only secret passage 	inside a parseltongue-only secret passage 	Hyphen 	
older Harry cut a dashing figure 	older-Harry cut a dashing figure 	Hyphen 	
doing in the Headmaster's office, after all 	doing in the headmaster's office, after all 	Lowercase 	
all part of the game. 	all part of the game." 	Add closing quote 	
over Slytherin wishing 	over Slytherin, wishing 	Comma 	
that I feel a Lord of one 	that I feel a lord of one 	Lowercase 	
inked his Phoenix feather quill 	inked his phoenix-feather quill 	Lowercase and hyphen 	
Flint also seemed to be back in fold 	Flint also seemed to be back in the fold 	Missing word? 	
the mass of parchmentwork 	the mass of parchment-work 	For consistency with the rest of the story 	
Then he topped an imaginary hat 	Then he tipped an imaginary hat 	Typo 	
The chamber would be the ideal place 	The Chamber would be the ideal place 	Capitalize 	
The super high-dose ageing potion 	The super-high-dose ageing potion 	Hyphen 	
An almost inaudible curse 	An almost-inaudible curse 	Hyphen 	
an almost complete transfiguration form 	an almost-complete transfiguration form 	Hyphen 	
an almost instantaneous build up of magic 	an almost-instantaneous build-up of magic 	Two hyphens 	
Harry rested his still full glass 	Harry rested his still-full glass 	Hyphen 	
The man stood stock still 	The man stood stock-still 	Hyphen 	
in the first year slot 	in the first-year slot 	Hyphen 	
If Slytherin really was a Dark Lord 	If Slytherin really was a dark lord 	Lowercase 	
as though he's you-know-who reborn 	as though he's You-Know-Who reborn 	Capitalize 	
the vanquisher of you-know-who 	the vanquisher of You-Know-Who 	Capitalize 	
On his way to history of magic, 	On his way to History of Magic, 	 	
History of Magic and Astronomy 	 	 	
check this out. He 	check this out." He