Reddit AMA (2014)

I've seen famous and non-famous people do these, and I'm sort of in-between, so I thought it might be fun.https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/228z95/iama_actor_amir_talai_does_anyone_care_to_ama/
I'm an actor who has done a fair amount of TV and Film (Harold and Kumar 2, What To Expect When You're Expecting, Family Guy, HIMYM, Kung Fu Panda LOA) but I'm recognizable to only a very small number of people.
Full credits: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1197519
I'm currently voicing Skidmark and Tito on Netflix's Turbo FAST, and I've created a campaign called #TherapyHelped as part of Mental Health Awareness Month: https://www. thunderclap.it/projects/10289-therapyhelped
AMA!
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Schlegdawg: If someone casted you to play the main villain in an upcoming blockbuster, and you had full creative license to do your own thing, what would that villain be like?
Amir: Fun Q! Depends on the blockbuster. If it's something along the lines of Bourne Identity, my character would be a lot like Benjamin Linus from LOST. Quiet, methodical, intelligent, merciless. If it's like a superhero blockbuster, I'd be something like The Joker in Batman. Or The Riddler in Batman. Fuckin crazy.
Schlegdawg: Nicholson's Joker? Or Ledger's?
Amir: Ledger's if I have to pick, but I love them both in their own way.
Deleted User: Is your bush really that big?
Amir: Hey, I'm Persian. ALLLLL ME. Actually, that's my go-to joke answer when fans ask. The truth is, the entire cock and bush was a prosthetic. I had to shave my downstairs completely bald so that the entire thing could be glued to my crotch. Then there was a piece of it that went up under my taint and was glued to tailbone. The water in the tub started peeling away the prosthetic, so at a certain point we were hurrying to get the shot so my fake junk didn't fall off. Fun fact, the penis had to be enormous so that some of it would protrude from the enormous bush. The penis itself was bigger than a ketchup bottle.
RAJ2D2: That thing looks like Bin Ladens beard!
Amir: I know, right? Drink it in.
Deleted User 2: Hey man, my little brother loves your voice as crane on Kung fu panda. How do you make that voice? It would mean the world if he knew how, as crane is his favorite character.
Amir: It's really not extremely different from my own voice. Maybe a little more nasal. I just try to get in Crane's neurotic, anal retentive head, and it just sorta happens.
Amir: ps, yeah... "little brother".
Deleted User 2: Oh, you're THAT guy? Cool man, I like your shit. What does it feel like to be middle-range famous? Do you feel pressure or an urge to try to further your fame?
Amir: Well, it feels great to be able to make a living at what I love. But I'm a pretty ambitious guy, so I wouldn't say there's pressure, but I certainly would like to be more known so that I can do even more interesting projects and have more financial security. As consistently as I've been working lately, I also know the bottom can fall out of an acting career in an instant, so that is always scary.
blukore: Hey man I think you are hilarious and I am surprised that so few people recognize you. What is your goal in life? What are you hoping to achieve from the work you do?
Amir: thanks for the compliment! I am hoping to continue doing interesting projects working with interesting people forever, and I'd really like to become famous/rich enough so that I could help lots and lots of people with my fame and money. I donated a Turbo FAST studio visit to a charity recently, and it made me so happy to be able to do that small thing. I'd like to be able to help people on a large scale someday, I think that's the biggest societal benefit that actors can have.
crazyol84: why would anyone want to be famous? It's beyond me
Amir: Being famous allows you more opportunities to be involved in interesting projects, and also allows you to use your fame for charitable endeavors, which I would love to do.
crazyol84: Yeah but it also comes with so much downside for yourself, don't you think? Can't just having money afford you most of the same opportunities?
Amir: many of them yes. But the only way I know how to get rich is get famous. I mean given my limited skill set.
Encelados242: Hows it going Amir. I'm Iranian-American as well. My dad moved here from Iran for college in the 70s and ended up staying to raise a family (not to mention not being able to go back due to political issues). I ended up being raised around a bunch of other families in the same boat as us - a white mom and an Iranian dad. It now feels like me and all the second generation kids I grew up with are kind of in our own sub-culture - not really Iranians, but not really american (white middle class). Maybe a better way to put is that I would tell a typical american (non-immigrant) that I am Iranian, but if an Iranian were to ask I would feel compelled to explain how I've never been to Iran and I don't speak Farsi, but my Dad is from there. I read that you were born in the USA. Are both your parents Iranian? How do you identify yourself culturally, and how do you feal you fit in with other Iranians?
Amir: Both my parents are Iranian. I guess I ID as Iranian American. There is so much about me that's Persian (my upbringing, my appearance, etc), and so much that's American (my attitude, my world-view). I dont really think about how I fit in w other Iranians, I just think about fitting in w people. I have Persian friends and non-Persian friends. Most of my friends are people in my industry. I hope I'm answering your Q. I'm truthfully a little bleary-eyed, time for me to go to sleep. Peace!
makeitcool: I'm Asian Canadian and I've had this identity issue all my life. I wish people would just accept it when I say I'm from Canada because I truly identify with the cultural values. But most people insist on knowing where I'm REALLY from and I feel like they're attacking my identity :(
Amir: I wouldn't take it as an attack. They are truly trying to understand I think. Try to take it as a teachable moment, let them know about your Asian roots and your Canadian upbringing. They will come away from it knowing a little more about the world.
upvotersfortruth: Once you've had Persian, there's no better version.
Amir: Can confirm, I am Persian.
Encelados242: Thanks! Yeah, you answered what I was trying to ask. Follow up question: with all the talk about you wanting to play a bad guy, if you captured the hero how would you attempt to kill him but then leave him unattended while facing nearly certain death from which he escapes? Lowering into a shark tank slowly maybe? Tied up on a conveyor belt moving him towards a saw blade?
Amir: I would kill him with several bullets to the head and then two to the junk the moment I captured him. Wouldn't even bring him back to the lair.
Deleted user & Comment:
Amir: When I did Hannah (Montana) she was still very young and I was very concerned that I was gonna curse in front of her. But there was this one line that I kept messing up, and in our final run thru i messed it up again. I was so mad that I went "FUCK!!!" and Billy Ray was NOT happy. No real stories about the girls though, they were both cool to work with. And I didn't hang with them or anything, any time I was not working on my scene, I'd just go back to my room. Wasn't really much to talk with them about. 
Deleted user & Comment: 
Amir: Haha, WeHo IS super gay, in the awesomest way. Clean, nice people, good restaurants, everything walkable. Pretty much all the LA stereotypes are accurate. Silver Lake has lots of hipsters, BH has lots of Persians and rich ppl and rich Persians.
havestronaut: Whoa! I moved to LA a few years ago, and my first "celeb sighting" was you! You were in a cross walk in West Hollywood. Walking. WeHo. This all checks out.
Amir: Can confirm, I use crosswalks. 
ricanbrazer: No question here, however I think your campaign is awesome. I've been in therapy for about 3 years now and at first I was ashamed. I opened up to friends and family and most confessed they also want to go to therapy. Now I talk about it openly and wonder why people don't talk about it. What inspired you to create the campaign? (I guess I did have a question after all)
Amir: Thank you, and thank you for being open about being in therapy. Well, I've always been a huge proponent of therapy. I've seen how it's helped a lot of people, and I've seen how many people could benefit from it but who dont do it. My wife and I went to "pre-marital counseling" to kind of make absolutely certain we were on the same page before we got married, and we loved it.
The inspiration for the campaign was that I had a few conversations in the span of a week where either I or the person I was talking to clearly wanted to mention therapy but were worried about making the other person uncomfortable. And then as soon as you both "come out", you both feel better and realize there is nothing to be ashamed of about therapy. It's like I say on the campaign page, we talk about our physical health so much, why not mental as well?
Thanks so much for the support, would love for you to spread the word about the campaign. :)
Callizero: As an Actor myself, I find myself brawling for parts with so many people that sometimes I think i have a better chance at winning the lottery. Do you think being Asian you have less compitition and a somewhat easier ride to get work?
Amir: There are fewer roles for minorities, but there are fewer minority actors to play those roles. I think it all evens out.
Amir: Haha just noticed this has 5 downvotes. Who sees a middle class actor doing an AMA and goes "you know what? Fuck that guy."? haha
IThoughtYouGNU: I wouldn't say you are a middle class actor, I remember you from Harold & Kumar distinctly, so you evidently made a strong impression.
Amir: thanks yo! I'd say middle class bc I'm not struggling, but I am by no means a "name" when it comes to Hollywood standards.
hobnobbinbobthegob: What are your thoughts on barbecuing?
Amir: It's a thankless job. Next time you're at a picnic or whatever, let the grill master know what a positive difference he or she is making in the world.
Deleted User & Comment: 
Amir: I love that it's something different every day. I love that sometimes, it's really really easy- I show up, act like an idiot, and get paid really well for it. I love meeting and working with people who I've been a fan of (Chris Rock!), and for one day, I'm kind of on equal footing with them (kind of. Ok not really). I love the rare occasions when I get to go to fancy parties. I love getting recognized, especially by kids from the kids stuff I've done.
I not so love how uncertain it is. I've gone long stretches without working much at all. I not so love the sense that there may never be "advancement". In other jobs, you can "work your way up". There's really no assurance of that as a middle class actor. You might always be doing what I'm doing, which is a few lines here, a few lines there, and there's sometimes a ceiling that you're hoping to break through, but don't always know if you can.
fumor: How is Chris Rock in person?
Amir: Just as hilarious and opinionated as he is on stage. He also doesn't bring his phone to set, so rather than him doing deals and answering emails and being on the line with his "team", we spent a significant amount of time chopping it up, which was just awesome.
Smofo: How hot is Kat Dennings in real life?
Amir: Hotter. She was super cool.
IronShaikh: Oh yeah, I remember you, you were Raza from Harold and Kumar right? No pants party? If you were offered a role to play a terrorist, would you take it?
Amir: Yup, that was me! Actually, i would KILL to play a terrorist. I rarely get to play bad guys. The closest I come is smart-asses.
Deleted User: Did u get wood during the no pants party. If not you should have tried for it.
Amir: I did not. There were a lot of women there, but I was super focused on doing a good job and being funny. Plus if I'd have got wood it woulda been so painful since my real junk was glued underneath the fake junk.
Encelados242: It's pretty cool to hear about an Iranian not getting enough "bad guy" roles for a change. Progress maybe?
Amir: Sure! Although there are some Iranians who can only get "bad guy" roles. I think Hollywood is doing a better and better job in its portrayals of minorities...
lupinlover310: What is your favorite thing about acting in front of the camera and what is your favorite thing about voice acting? Do you like one format more than the other?
Amir: Whew, my favorite? This might sound odd, but I like when the scene is long. I like the feeling of being able to get into a scene and really have it out. Not sure if that makes sense.
My fav thing about voice acting is being able to be so many different things. In Turbo I play a crazy snail and a big fat guy. I also really love, in contrast to on camera, that you're often working one. line. at. a time, which allows you so focus in almost a freakish way on what you want to do on that line.
I like both formats for what each offers, but if I had to choose one, I'd say on camera, bc you really get to be in the moment more.
lupinlover310: It sounds like you want to be able to concentrate on what you're doing so you can do it well. That makes sense to me! Haha, that's awesome that you get to be so many things as a voice actor. (And I think I would love focusing one line at a time myself—I'm a sucker for detail!) Thanks for answering my questions and doing this AMA!
Amir: you're very welcome. I actually organized a poker night tonight and hardly anyone RSVPd so I had to cancel. I was worried this AMA would be the same thing haha
Deleted User & Comment: 
Amir: I'm a pretty full-on internet addict. Finding Reddit has not been good for that.
Deleted User & Comment: last I heard, Oxygen was demanding such a big a cut of the profits that it wasn't worth it to the producers to put in all the work to sell it. But man, I really wish you could buy it somewhere. If I didn't think Oxygen would get their stupid lawyers on my ass, I'd try to put every episode online for people to download for free.
TZ-13: Not Persian, but a fellow brown American, haha. What sort of advice would you give to aspiring actors of color who don't want to get booked into stereotyped roles?
Amir: Forget that. Get the stereotype. Start working. The more you work, the more your casting range will expand. I played some clownish roles at first, now I get to play a wider range.
lupinlover310: Actually, I have another question! Seeing as you've voiced a few characters for children's shows and movies, what do you think about the stereotype that children's shows and movies should be just that—for children? (I'm 23 now and I love watching Disney movies and shows on Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, but I have some, ahem, family members who disapprove of this lifestyle of mine.)
Amir: I love kid stuff that has something in it for adults. That's the best. I just saw Frozen and thought it was lovely. And I love all of Seth Macfarlane's cartoons. I will say most of the stuff on Cartoon Network is way over my head. But hey, as long as you enjoy it, I wouldn't care what anyone else said. Though I do find it funny that you refer to watching cartoons as a "lifestyle". :)
Deleted User & Comment: 
Amir: I've been averaging low six figures for a few years, but my rates are close to scale. I've been lucky enough to have commercials make up the bulk of my income. It's hard for me to guess at James' income, bc to my knowledge he didn't do commercials or VO, which can be a healthy under-the-radar way to make money. If I were to guess, I'd say high 6 figures.
ColoradoSkiMan: Do people recognize you when you go out in public? What was the best experience if so?
Amir: rarely. Happens a more when I'm not in LA. I think my favorite was in NYC when 3 teenagers passed me on the street and were like "You famous! You famous!" It was just very silly.
Deleted User: Hey, great AmA. Just like to say thanks for promoting therapy. As someone who has only just started on their road to recovery...its good to see someone stepping up and waving a flag. Therapy helps, no doubt about it. I just wish I could have realised this 10yrs ago, ( rather than 3 weeks!) I'm thinking about baring all at the start of Mental Health Awareness Month, for better or worse. Cheers dude!
Amir: THANK YOU, and better late than never on the therapy. Glad you are having a good experience with it. Spread the word, there's no shame in getting better!
falfu: How did you realise acting was what you wanted to do? Thank you!
Amir: I've always been a ham. Growing up as a scrawny Persian kid, I was not gonna be a jock or a chick magnet, so I became a clown. And I've been good at that. I always thought I'd want to act, but was scared to try to make a living. After I graduated college, I acted part time for a while, and then I got laid off from my regular job, and acting picked up. I never looked back.
poop421: whats your favorite video game?
Amir: Oh I am scared of the wrath of redditors on this one. Mario Party for Wii. Or tha Rayman Wii game that is similar. No wait! Kid Icarus for original Nintendo. Favorite. All time. I used to draw little maps on a piece of lined paper to keep track of the castles.
poop421: thats crazy you said Kid Icarus on nes. i was just playing that about an hour ago. And good answer too.
Amir: Seriously if I could have that game right now, it'd be bad news bc I'd probably not leave the house.
-IZ-: Hey, what's your favorite Pokemon?
Amir: I do not know jack shit about Pokemon.
-IZ-: Shit man, google "pokedex" and find one you enjoy. Pokemon is the shit.
Amir: you know what, I went ahead and Googled it. Just for you. Because I'm a people pleaser. But I looked at that stuff for like a minute and my eyes totally glazed over. I just, I dont get it. But you know what man? YOU'RE the shit, for trying to open my eyes to something you love.
AdolfHipster1928: How did you start your acting career? How did you get ti be in all these really big movies? And who was your favorite actor/actress you've met? Thank you for doing this by the way. I love when famous people do these.
Amir: I got a list of agents and started to submit to them. Once I met one who was willing to rep me, they started sending me on auditions. My big break was probably when I appeared on The Comeback, everyone in LA watched that show, and people started to be excited to bring me in after that. I got to be in all these movies just from regular auditions, just going through the same process. Tough to pick a single favorite, but the short list would have to include J Lo, Chris Rock, Will Smith, Ana Ortiz, and Jerry Trainor.
AdolfHipster1928: That's so cool. It must be awesome to have fams amd get to meet so many people. Do you enjoy the auditions and people know who you are? Were you a small time kind of person that made it big? Or were you always just kind of "out there"?
Amir: I do enjoy auditions. I like meeting new people and showing them what I'm capable of. It's always a delightful surprise when people know who I am, I dont think I'll ever get tired of it. I'm not sure what you mean by small time and out there. I have always been extroverted, if that's what you mean. No one was every surprised that I decided to go into acting.
AdolfHipster1928: Ya that would be a cool experienece. Sorry for wording it weird. You did answer it though. I've thought about acting and/comedy becasue I always seem to make people laugh. Bit I'll admit that a lot of stuff people find funny from me, is just something that someone else oroginally came up with. I would just be doing obscure tv quotes all the time and wouldn't make money for it haha.
Amir: Well, tbh, that's pretty much exclusively how I made people laugh when I was a kid. Just quoting standup and SNL. If you're good enough at doing other people's material, someday you might get hired to do other people's material. :)
AdolfHipster1928: Thanks for that :) I'm still a "kid" since I'm only 18. But I'm ,like, freaking out what I want to do with my life. The acting thing has been in the back of my mind for years. And I've been thinking about Air Force lately too. I just have no clue what to do....
Amir: My cousin's in the AF, it's a tough life. Acting is pretty dang tough too, in obv a completely different way. A while ago, I wrote an advice piece for aspiring actors, feel free to check it out: http://amirtalai.com/journal. php
Nick Offerman had some pretty good advice earlier in his AMA: http://www. reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2278w4/nick_offerman_funambulist_returning_for_more_ama/cgk0ctr
AdolfHipster1928: That's really cool! My cousin just got shipped off for the AF in Kuwait. I know its not a vacation but he gets to travel the world. Plus it could pay for college for me. Thanks a ton for doing this AMA. You're a pretty badass guy :D
Amir: The travel is really not all that. My cousin has been in the middle east (ugh), and then a bunch of bumblefuck places in the US. Much better to choose where you're going than to have the AF pick. College though, that is another story. Although I'm starting to think better than college is to learn a trade. Shit man, wtf do I know. I'm glad I can get paid for actin a fool, I'd be screwed if I had to get a real job. Good luck, and thanks for calling me a badass, that's a first!
AdolfHipster1928: Wow. You're the first to say something about AF not being that great. (I haven't talked to too many people though) I act a fool all the goddamn time haha. One more question if it's not too much. You're not a HUGE actor (though I think you will be (; ) What's the pay like? Is it enough for a pretty good living? To handle a family?
Amir: I'm in probably the top 10% of actors, with the big stars comprising the top 1%. I'd say I've been averaging low 6 figures for the last few years. But it varies wildly. There might be several months in a row where I just make a couple thousand, but then a couple months where it goes crazy. It's so up and down, it makes managing finances complicated and stressful. I could probably afford kids if I wanted to.
bnewbe: Who inspired you to be an artist?
Amir: My earliest inspirations were Bill Cosby (*Remember this AMA was 10 years ago*) and Eddie Murphy. Watching their stand up as a little kid, and seeing how hard they made me and everyone laugh, I was like, I wanna do that.
Deleted User & Comment: 
Amir: full on poop? I sharted pretty big time when I was like 15. Which, if you think about it, is pretty late in life for pants pooping.
Deleted User: Do you prefer to be in between the super famous and the actors no one knows? I would imagine that would keep you in a very comfortable pay range without the hassles of the super famous (paparazzi, tabloids, not being able to go in public without being asked for signatures/photos). On that note, what kind if inconveniences do you experience by being an actor from major films, such as inappropriate requests for pictures/signatures/other inappropriate requests?
Amir: It's really hard for me to imagine the hassles of the super famous. Seeing paparazzi go after those people looks totally surreal to me, so it's hard for me to say "whew, glad I dont have that", Because OTOH, I know that being more famous would likely translate to higher pay and more career opportunities. So the honest answer I think is, I would like to be a lot more famous than I am right now. Like a LOT. (since my current level of famousness is close to zero) But, like, not as famous as Tom Cruise.
particle409: Why did Campus Ladies get cancelled? I loved that show.
Amir: the #2 lady at Oxygen never got it. She got us moved to a shitty timeslot whereupon our rating took a huge tumble and then that was it. Fucking terrible. Probably the most fun I've ever had.
DaddyBishop: Hey thanks for doing this for all us interested folks! I was wondering since I noticed you have done quite a bit of voice over work, do you prefer v/o or live acting? Or is it pretty equal? Also, I took a brief scroll though the link you posted for "Between the Lines" (will definitely read thoroughly in the morning), but does the advice apply towards v/o work, or is that a different beast altogether? Thanks again for the AMA and all the answering you are doing! Keep up the great work!
Amir: If I had to pick one I'd say on camera, but I love them both for very different reasons. My advice if you want to get into voice work is you better be AMAZING. It's a much more saturated market with people who are incredible at what they do. I work alongside Eric Bauza on Turbo and he is phenomenal. And he is YOUNG. He will be your competition for decades. That scares ME. I am fortunate enough to work occasionally in VO, but working in VO regularly is hard as fuck.
TokenUser74: Just read through your AMA. Thanks for taking the time and more importantly, thanks for bringing some smiles and laughs in our lives! Maybe you can luck out and get a role as a superhero who is constantly mistaken as a terrorist! Then you could cross two items of your acting bucket list! Lol!
Amir: ActuallyHelpful Abdul! Able to infiltrate Al Quaida bc of his swarthyness and musty body odor, he's a real American Hero!
Ask_A_Sadist: In hollywood, what is the difference between A list celebs and B list? Is it people they know, agents they use, work they put in, or like random chance?
Amir: I guess it's a combination of the projects they are involved with and the pres attention they get.
darklydreamingdonnie: It doesn't REALLY look like Osama Bin Laden's beard does it?
Amir: More like Nick Offerman's mustache.
Pantera1987: Are you from Isfahan ? Cause all the Talai's are.
Amir: I'm from San Francisco. But my folks are from Tehran.
Nth-Degree: To the A-list crowd, are you almost part of the club? As in one big break away from membership? Or do they treat actors at your level as a step up from extras?
Amir: All the A listers I've ever worked with have been super cool to me. They may have been too busy to shoot the shit, but I never felt like they were "too cool" or I was "too unfamous". 
Deleted User: I honestly don't recognize you, to be fair, I don't watch a whole lot of TV so that's probably why. So here's my question to you, if I'd want to see how talented of an actor you are, which of your performances would you recommend I watch? 
Amir: No worries. I'd say Campus Ladies, or Turbo FAST. That's where I've had the most to do, really getting to have fun. 
Deleted User: Hey, you played Abdul from Campus Ladies! Man, that was one of the best shows I have ever seen. Any chance of that coming out on DVD or you guys getting back together? Seriously, one of the best well written shows. You were hilarious in it! 
Amir: I WISH! I've been hoping for a video release since we were cancelled. Can't see us getting back together, it's been too long. But thanks for the compliment. The Ladies wrote pretty much every episode, but within that, it was all improvised. :)
Kknowsbest: What is the best advice ever given to you?
Amir: An acting teacher named Greg Lee told me to think of auditioning like a plumber giving an estimate - just walk in, show them walk you can do, and leave. No reason to get nervous. It stuck with me and it's been very useful.
badhatharry: Hey, I was the mixer on Jesus' Kid Brother at the Hudson back in like 04. Did that show ever play anywhere else? If so, did you go with it?
Amir: Hi! I loved that show and am still very good friends with Mary Pilate, Katie Von Till, AKA the voice of Disney's Snow White. JKB played in Long Beach and had a workshop in NYC, neither of which I was able to do.
Rolltop: Upvoted for humility.
Amir: fuck yeah! I'm the humilitiest guy around! Suck it!!
derpinita: What sort of cheese does Cobie Smulders smell like? Josh Radnor?
Amir: Never met Cobie, and never saw Josh touch cheese. 
timhawaii: Amir, Do you think Disco will make a come back?
Amir: It will always be here. I love a good disco tune once in a while. But as a movement, no. Disco is DEAD.
cheezman97: Does it still look like Osama bin Ladens beard down there?
Amir: I'm going for a Nick Offerman's mustache, but I can't get it to sit right.
Deleted User: I was raised in the other part of the world where we got another iconic Iranian, Omid Djalaili. Do you know him? Picturing you two in a back-and-forth stand up situation. And that would be great.
Amir: Worked with Omid on the Paul Reiser show, playing his cousin. Incredibly cool and funny dude. Unfortunately the show was cancelled before that ep aired. :(
Deleted User: Top five favorite songs?
Amir: Lovely Day - Bill Withers Gravity - Sara Bareilles Go Hard or Go Home - E40 Juicy - BIG Ordinary People - John Legend
pokebecka: Who is your favourite co-actor or actress you've ever worked with?
Amir: I'd have to say Jerry Trainor. The greatest combination of mega-talent, intelligence, and fun to be around. Plus we got to spend 5 wks together playing best friends, so we were really able to become friends.
Deleted User: Have you had any issues flying/boarding planes? ie profiling, etc.
Amir: No, I probably get pulled out for random checks more often, but nothing too crazy. I also opt out of the scanner thing every time.
Deleted User & Comment: 
Amir: Wow, I dont know. I dont embarrass easily. Comes with the territory i guess.
Deleted User & Comment: 
Amir: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I make it with almond milk. I can never eat less than one bowl, so to compensate, I eat it out of a tiny, baby-sized bowl.
DRoadkill: My name is also Amir but I have nothing funny to say about that; I also hate the fact that I have to repeat my name at least three times to anybody who's planning on actually ever seeing me again. But that aside, welcome! How did it feel to be picked for the incompetent suicide bomber on The Onion Movie and do you resent the man whose character name is both his first and surname for getting the monologue?
Amir: That was a huge deal for me. My first real movie part and I had a lot to do! I love Ahmed Ahmed, he's a great guy. Working on that with him was a blast.
Deleted User & Comment:
Amir: Not a stupid Q. IMHO everyone can benefit from some therapy. I think it can be self indulgent if you go too much. "Too much" will vary by individual. For some people going once every month or so is more than enough. Some people may feel the need to go more than 1x a week or even more. But I think everyone has things they need to get off their chest that they wont feel comfortable talking about with people they know, which is why a therapist can come in handy. It's never good to bottle stuff up, so having a pro to go to can be great. Thanks for the Q and the compliment!
I_Tread_Lightly: Thanks for the ama! Thoughts on the HIMYM finale? Also you were awesome on Curb. Any good Larry David stories?
Amir: Welcome! Didn't see it. Larry is shockingly nice. Constantly having to redo takes bc he laughs at everyone. Surprisingly affable and friendly. Loved him.
ultrachronic: Saw this thread and wasn't overly sure who you were... still am not sure. But you were on NCIS... what's Pauley Perrette like? Assuming you met her? Kudos on the lengthy IMDB profile. Definitely better than Anne Sellors
Amir: Met Pauley at a cast party, she was very friendly. Bummed I couldn't work with her, but Sasha was a doll.
Deleted User & Comment:
Amir: surprisingly, I dont know any. But there are some old guys near my acting class who offered to share their hookah with me, so that's cool.
Deleted User & Comment:
Amir: Not wearing makeup there (thanks!). Though I have for studio interviews. Hey, if they tell me to put it on, I'll trust em. But I prefer not. I always think it looks kinda fake.
filmmaker1986: Hey Amir, I'm sure this will probably get buried, but I created this account to ask you if you ever do (or how often you do) independent film projects? I'm part of a film collective that would love to have you be a part of our project.
Amir: Yes I do and I'd like to do more of them. Holla at my management at Principato Young in Beverly Hills, they'll get things moving.
bisnotyourarmy: How many terrorist roles have you turned down?
Amir: maybe like 2. They were probably really poorly written for like no money.
Deleted User: Are you Persian? If so are you a parsi or a zoroastrian?
Amir: yes and I think neither? Is that possible?
CrackersII: I love you.
Amir: I'm not ready for a commitment yet.
Deleted User: What's your favorite ice cream topping?
Amir: Dulce de Leche and sea salt.
sidimazz: yo can u give me a shoutout?
Amir: I can but I will not. I do not negotiate with terrorists.
Ghille: Looked at your picture on IMBD. You have the most kissable mouth I've ever seen!
Amir: Thanks mom.
eganist: Persian, eh? Come visit us in DC sometime. Might not be as obscenely massive as the community in LA, but we're fun.
Amir: I love DC. I was there to see the 49ers murder your team in football over Thanksgiving.
Gumpylittlegeck: What was it like voicing Crane in Kung-Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness?
Amir: It's super duper fun. Wish I could do it more, but Crane is only in like 2/3 of the episodes...
THE_PSICORAPIST: Why are there so many girls in my area that wanna meet me?
Amir: Clearly you used that pen*s enhancement I emailed you about. Enjoy it!
kid320: This might sound like a ridiculous question, but I genuinely can not withhold my laughter in certain situations. This makes me horrible at playing practical jokes on someone and makes it seem like I am rude in other situations. What kind of acting tips do you have to prevent breaking character when something strikes you as ridiculously hilarious and you just have to explode with laughter?
Amir: I breathe deeply and dig my fingernail into my hand in my pocket.
MangoDelight: Hey man! I love your character in the Harold & Kumar movies! I was wondering if you guys actually smoked r/trees (weed) on set while filming?
Amir: unfortunately no. That woulda been awesome.
Visionsofspace: I think you are a great actor. I'm sorry you didn't get Robin in HIMYM. Thanks for all the laughs. My question(s):
If the zombie apocalypse were to happen right now, what do you have with you that would be your weapons? Who do you have with you to feed to the zombies? With the world ending around you what would your deepest regret be? Thanks for your time!
Amir: I have some big knives. I need to do better.
Feed to the zombies? I'm way to much of a people pleaser. I'd probably let myself get caught so my wife and dog could be safe. At least I'd get to have one of those dramatic "SAVE YOURSELF!" moments.
That I didn't do a lot more boning.
Deleted User & Comment:
Amir: yes but I'm allergic. Love dogs way way way way way way more.
thelordofcheese: You have a funny name. Do you think that hinders you in Hollywood, or could you spin it as a benefit?
Amir: There are fewer roles for people like me, but there are fewer actors who fit into the roles I could. I think it probably evens out.
TheSmellofPudding: ghormeh sabzi or gheimeh?
Amir: ghormeh all the way. Took me a while to get there though. I was all about pure whiteness for most of my youth.
Kellermann: Is it true that all actors have to take part in gay activities to be considered for a role?
Amir: Yeah dude, it sucks. Putting on makeup, nice clothes, it's the worst.
Deleted User: Where did you study acting?
Amir: Seydways.com
Extra Comment from Amir: One of my favorite strip club experiences was when I saw Patton Oswalt at a bachelor party in Vegas 10 yrs ago. I tapped him on the shoulder to tell him what a big fan I was, and as soon as he turned around, he said "yes i WOULD like a lap dance!" and pulled me on to his lap. It was hilarious.