Zaniacs

The ninth episode of season 2, and the second winner of the "Show Fan Episode" contest. Click here for more information. Enjoy!
==Script==
*(Rack, NH, US and Rig are eating breakfast at the kitchen table. They're watching a small TV.)
*US: Ugh, there's nothing on! All there is is ads and cheesy talk shows on!
*Ad: Hi! Don't you just love ads?!
*Rack, NH, US & Rig: No!
*Ad: Good, because there's gonna be a new channel called the "Ad Network"! Now I'm going to tell you a 1 hour advertisement why you should watch it!
*(US changes the channel.)
*US: That was close.............
*(Cut to the TV. It is a talk show like setting.)
*Woman: And my son just doesn't listen to me! What do I do, Dr. Bill?
*Dr. Bill: Smack some sense into him! Show him who's the boss in the house! You're the mom! I want you to get excited about yourself! Oh yeah, and your lice.
*(Woman scratches her hair.)
*(They all shudder.)
*(US changes the channel.)
*Woman: I swears, dat man is my baby daddy!
*Man: I axed you about your tummy!
*Woman: Yep, just like a baby daddy!
*Host: We'll see with the lie detector test.
*Man: We betta!
*(Woman throws a fridge towards him.)
*(The audience has a shocked expression.)
*US: That's right! You go girl!
*(The others stare with no expression.)
*Rig: Hey, I know what we can watch!
*(Rig changes the channel.)
*Singers: It's the Zaniacs! It's the Zaniacs! It's everyone's favorite zany people, it's the Zaniacs! It's Daisy, it's Wacky, it's , uh........ the zaniest brother! It's the Zaniacs!
*US: Ugh, not that show. I mean, it may have been cool when we were kids, but it's so lame now. Like, the jokes are so cheesy.
*Rack: Wait, how did it become a dairy product?
*US: This is what I have to deal with, folks.
*NH: Indeed. I never liked the show at all. A bunch of losers who need a life if you ask me.
*Rig: Come on guys, they're funny! Like, this is one joke they did:
*(A few minutes later.)
*NH: Must I wear the skirt?
*Rig: Duh! The joke would be ruined without it!
*NH: Fine. (Unenthusiastically): Oh, hello........ (reading cue card): Wacky. Where did you get those football cards?
*Rig: I got 'em from Dick Butkus.
*(NH looks at the audience, confused.)
*(Rack and US are also confused.)
*Rig: Get it? 'Cause his name, and he's in football? Get it? Huh?
*NH: Why do I even bother............
*(NH walks away.)
*Rig: Okay, I'll shut up now.........
*(Rig leaves.)
*US: Well I'm bored so I'm outta here. See ya later, minions!
*(US leaves.)
*Rack: Yeah, I should get to work!
*(Rack leaves.)
*(The Zaniacs have heard all the words they said (from when they changed the channel).)
*The Zaniest Brother: We're lame and cheesy, eh?
*Daisy: We're a bunch of losers that need lives too?
*Wacky: At least one of them thinks we're funny.
*The Zaniest Brother: But everyone needs to think we're funny.
*Daisy: Or else, everyone will hate our show.
*Wacky: I loved that Dick Butkus joke.
*The Zaniest Brother: Come on, I got an idea!
*(They all huddle up.)
*Wacky: How come you keep saying "Whisper, whisper, whisper"?
*Daisy: Brothers.
*The Zaniest Brother: Follow me!
*(They all jump out of the TV.)
*The Zaniest Brother: Phew, I thought we'd be horribly CGI'd.
*Wacky: Whoa, the real world is much bigger than in there.
*(Wacky eats all the food in the fridge.)
*Wacky: (fat): The food also. (swallows, and goes back to normal): Ah, the cartoon diet.
*The Zaniest Brother: Stop fooling around, we gotta teach these hacks a lesson.
*Wacky: Like beat 'em up?
*The Zaniest Brother: No, a literal lesson. We'll show them how to be funny, because they're hacks. Come on! Let's split up! I'll find that annoying human, Daisy can find that weird mayor and loud dog, and Wacky can find that slimy dog!
*Daisy: Why do I have to find two?!
*The Zaniest Brother: Sister, you're the best choice. Nah, it's because I don't know if I could find that dog. Now let's go!
*(The three try to find the gang.)
*(Cut to Rack in a nursing home. The Zaniest Brother comes out of Old Man's pants.)
*The Zaniest Brother: (in disguise): Hi! I'm.......... eh....... (Takes it off): Come with me, or the dog gets it! (points squirt gun at a picture of NH)
*Rack: Wait, how did you-. WAIT, doggie's in trouble?! DOGGIE!
*(The Zaniest Brother catches Rack in a bag.)
*The Zaniest Brother: Too easy.
*Old Man: Wait, get back in my pants! It was the best feeling I've had in years!
*(The Zaniest Brother shudders, snaps his finger, and disappears.)
*Old Man: Aw, darn whippersnapper.
*(Cut to Daisy trying to find NH.)
*Daisy: Hello! Would you like to give your feedback on this sample skirt?
*NH: Well, the breeze felt good when I wore that skirt earlier, (shakes head) I mean, no.
*Daisy: Too bad.
*(Daisy puts the skirt on NH and puts him in a bag.)
*(Cut to Daisy trying to find US.)
*(Daisy pops out of US's pen.)
*US: Ugh, darn inkblots, always popping out of my pen!
*Daisy: Hi! We're selling these purple light bulbs! Want one?
*US: Nope. A purple lightbulb only works on purple lamps.
*Daisy: I have one right here!
*US: Already have 10 purple lamps.
*Daisy: Just come with me!
*US: Why?
*Daisy: Because.............. I have purple pizza!
*US: I'm in.
*Daisy: Good.
*(Daisy puts US in a bag.)
*US: Still worth it. (lights a match): NY?! Why are you wearing a skirt?!
*NH: I'm strangely starting to like it. Uh, I mean, she taped it on me!
*(Cut to Rig.)
*Rig: Criss-cross applesauce! Cross your leggies! Then put your paws on your lappy! Then make your backy straight and have some chocolate pie! Then sit on your pootie maker and pootie! Then zip your lippies (zips) (muffled): and say, "who cut the cheese"?
*Wacky: Aw, that was adorable.
*Rig: WACKY! *huggles*
*Wacky: You're cute.
*(Rig gasps.)
*(Cut to a black image saying "Censored": "Reason": "Fangirl moment".)
*(Cut to Wacky with kisses all over him.)
*Wacky: Wow, I just realized you stick your tongue out too!
*Rig: I do! As an honor to you.
*Wacky: (smiling): What do you like to play?
*Rig: Well........
*(Three hours later.)
*(Rig is on Wacky and Wacky is pretending to be a pig.)
*Rig: You're so fun, Wacky! Even funner than NH!
*(Cut to The Zaniest Brother and Daisy.)
*The Zaniest Brother: What is taking him so long?
*Daisy: I told you you should've kept him in the TV.
*The Zaniest Brother: Hold on. (he goes into a sink and to where Rig is; his head appears out of an acorn): Wacky, what are you doing?!
*Wacky: Having fun with Rig!
*The Zaniest Brother: You're supposed to capture her, not play with her!
*Wacky: But, but I like her!
*The Zaniest Brother: Ugh, you're such a wimp. I'll do it! Uh, mind breaking this acorn so I can get out?
*Wacky: Do it yourself! (pouts) Ruining my fun.
*The Zaniest Brother: Fine! (moves even slower than a turtle)
*(Wacky and Rig continue to have fun.)
*(10 hours later.)
*The Zaniest Brother: Finally.......
*Rig: Acorn!
*The Zaniest Brother: Uh oh.
*(Rig chases TZB while he hops.)
*Daisy: Brothers, so slow.
*(Daisy teleports to where Rig is.)
*(Daisy gets Wacky, breaks TZB out of the acorn, puts Rig in a bag and teleports back.)
*Rig: Ooh, hide and seek time!
*Wacky: Aw, we where just about to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
*The Zaniest Brother: And I was starting to enjoy being in there.
*Daisy: Looks like I'm the only sane one.
*The Zaniest Brother: Well we got them all. Now to teach them a lesson!
*(Cut to later. The gang are out of their bags and being taught by the "Zaniacs".)
*Rig: Nice skirt, NH!
*NH: (blushing): It's only for a friend!
*The Zaniest Brother: (coughing): Now that I have your attention, it's time to teach you hacks what funny is. Wacky, come over here.
*Wacky: Okie dokie!
*The Zaniest Brother: Now, Wacky, instruct the students an example of funniness.
*Wacky: Here goes! (throws pie in his face)
*The Zaniest Brother: I wasn't finished yet.
*Wacky: Well, you didn't tell me.
*The Zaniest Brother: Isn't that funny?
*(Rig laughs hard. The others don't find it funny.)
*US: Boring!
*NH: Cliche!
*Rack: It was a nice try.
*The Zaniest Brother: At least one of you knows true humor. Now, I'll teach the annoying human, Daisy will teach US and NH and Wacky will teach Rig. Sound good?
*Rig: Yessers!
*Rack, NH & US: Uh...........
*The Zaniest Brother: Good.
*(Cut to The Zaniest Brother teaching Rack.)
*The Zaniest Brother: And then I approached him, saying "Eh, what's up, jock"? But he's really fat! Isn't that funny?
*Rack: No, that's kind of mean.
*The Zaniest Brother: This is going to be harder than I thought.........
*(Cut to Daisy with NH and US.)
*Daisy: You know you don't have to wear the skirt anymore........
*NH: Nah, I like it. Uh, I mean, it's fine, I guess.
*US: Can we just do something please instead of talking about NY's skirt?
*NH: It's for a friend!
*Daisy: Alright, now to the lesson. (adorable face): I'm adowable. Try it.
*NH: Nope.
*US: Sure. I'm adorable. There.
*Daisy: Ha ha, that's funny, but we're taking this seriously. You got that, lady?!
*US: No, I'm a man, not a lady.
*Daisy: You're obviously a lady!
*US: You don't know that. I'm wearing clothes. Darn "public nudity" being against the law.
*Daisy: ............Anyway, dog, come over here.
*NH: Wolf.
*Daisy: Whatever. Dance like a ballerina.
*NH: Why?
*Daisy: You'll see.
*(NH dances like a ballerina. US and Daisy are laughing hard.)
*NH: What did that teach me?
*Daisy: Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd actually do it!
*(The two continue laughing hard.)
*NH: As humiliating as it is, that was fun.
*US: Uh, what?
*NH: My friend paid me to say that!
*Daisy: Sigh, looks like I need to pull out the big guns..........
*(Cut to Wacky and Rig.)
*Wacky: And then I said, "I was hungry".
*(Rig laughs hard.)
*Rig: Oh, Wacky, I lo-.
*(Rig's stomach growls.)
*Rig: Huh?
*(It growls again.)
*Rig: I know we just married, and I wasn't about to say I loved him! I was just saying he was great! Gosh, every time I'm friends with a boy you get all angry!
*(It growls again.)
*Rig: Fine, be that way. I'll stop talking to you too for a while.
*Wacky: Is this a bad time? If so, I can just come later.
*Rig: No no no, it's fine! Tire's just suffering from jealousy!
*(Rig's stomach growls again.)
*Rig: (gasp): You better not use those words around our kids! (Rig punches her stomach): Let's continue!
*(A montage plays of The Zaniest Brother, very tired, teaching Rack on funny but to no avail, Daisy trying to teach NH and US about cuteness but not succeeding, and Wacky playing with Rig while punching her stomach.)
*The Zaniest Brother: I'll say it for the one millionth time, "What's up, doc?" is funny.
*Rack: How?
*The Zaniest Brother: Because, back then, people weren't expecting a talking ra- (different voice): animal (back to normal voice): say "What's up, doc?" But, thanks to its popularity, it made it cliche and thus no longer funny. Same thing for pie to the face, the list goes on.
*Rack: Still not funny though.
*The Zaniest Brother: Ugh!
*(Cut to Daisy, NH and US.)
*Daisy: (exhausted): Okay, how about this: "I'm sweet like a cupcake."
*NH: Ah, this skirt feels good. Uh, I mean, it's alright, I guess.
*US: Stop taunting me!
*Daisy: Why am I even doing this?
*(Cut to Rig and Wacky.)
*Wacky: This has been fun!
*Rig: It really has. Thanks for everything. *huggles Wacky*
*Wacky: (blushing): It was nothing, really.
*The Zaniest Brother: For the final time, cartoon cliches were funny, but they aren't now, but that doesn't take away their funniness. Alright?!
*Rack: It still does. It's all about what they are now, you know.
*The Zaniest Brother: I CAN'T TAKE IT!
*(Cut to Daisy, NH and US.)
*Daisy: (Unenthusiastic): Okay, this is our final lesson for the day. Yay.
*NH: Good! Now I can finally go outside and feel the breeze through my itter skirt. Uh, I mean, this alright skirt.
*US: Good, I haven't gotten this much sleep in days!
*Daisy: (cute face): I wove you.
*NH: I don't.
*US: That's nice, dear.
*Daisy: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*(TZB and Daisy run out of their rooms.)
*Daisy: I can't take it anymore! I wanna go back in the TV!
*The Zaniest Brother: And you think I don't?
*Daisy: Let's get Wacky!
*(The two run to where Rig and Wacky are.)
*Wacky: (feeding Rig): Here comes the squirrel train!
*Rig: Mm! This food tastes so much better when you feed me!
*(Rig's stomach growls.)
*Rig: Not now, Tire!
*(TZB and Daisy enter.)
*The Zaniest Brother: Come on, we're getting back into the TV.
*Wacky: Why?! I was just starting to have fun in the real world with Rig!
*The Zaniest Brother: I could care less about your little "romance". Let's just go.
*(TZB and Daisy drag Wacky.)
*Rig: (tear in her eye): I'll miss you, Wacky!
*Wacky: I'll miss you too! I'll try to meet you again!
*(The door closes. Rig cries, smiling.)
*(The three go back in the TV.)
*The Zaniest Brother: I'll stay here from now on.
*Daisy: Same. Besides, I look so much better on TV.
*The Zaniest Brother: Don't you feel the same, Wacky?
*(Wacky's pouting.)
*Daisy: Baby.
*The Zaniest Brother: Eh, he'll get over it.
*Wacky: (thinking): I'll play with her again someday............
*(Cut to Rack, NH and US outside.)
*Rack: Finally, they're gone.
*NH: And I thought you were annoying.
*Rack: (laughing annoyingly and snorting): Oh, you!
*US: Uh, NY, they're gone now, you can take off that skirt.
*NH: No thanks, I like it. Uh, I mean, it's cool, I guess.
*US: Oh, yeah. Well let's see about that.
*(US rips his skirt off.)
*NH: Noooooooooooooo!
*US: Yes, it's mine! Muhahahahhahahah! This is mine now, boy!
*(US runs away.)
*(Rig appears out of nowhere.)
*Rig: I'll miss Wacky. Oh well, at least I have you, Tire. (hugs her stomach)
*(Rig's stomach growls.)
*Rig: How are you not hurt? Well, I have 20 stomachs. You know I would never hurt you on purpose!
*Rack: Who is she talking to?
*NH: Her "husband".
*Rig: Tire, say goodbye to the peoples.
*(Her stomach growls.)
*Rig: Oh, fine, I'll do it! (speaks "growling" speak)
*THE END.
==Credits==
===Starring===
*Rackliffelikespurple as Rack
*New Heathera as NH
*Utter solitude as US
*Rigbybestie1510 as Rig
*The Zaniacs as The Zaniacs
*Old Man as Old Man
*People as People
===Writing===
*Story by: Kaitlyn Dunlap
*Written by: Rackliffelikespurple
===Thanks===
*To AngryGodzillaPie and Kaitlyn Dunlap for submitting their ideas to the contest.
*To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.
===Inspirations===
*Animaniacs, of course, and Yakko, Wakko and Dot being the inspirations to The Zaniest Brother, Wacky and Daisy, respectively.
==Other==
I loved this one. Kait came up with a wonderful idea!
Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! :D
Category:Episodes