Headhunters: The Sweet Sixteen

== Introduction ==
Glorio is a just and merciful Fantasy God. But there is one thing that he does not tolerate: those who do not set their lineup. Hence, he has chosen to execute the first criminal. 
== In Memorium: Moore $ Mo Problems (Derek) ==
In a turn of events that should have surprised no one, Derek becomes the first team eliminated from the Headhunters competition. Their name forshadowed it all. They leave the game with Moore $ than everyone else, namely all 1,000 Glorio Bucks, and it is safe to say they had "mo problems" than everyone else in the league because they started the worst roster.
I don't know what happened with Derek here. He traded Cam for Mitch and Higgens for Tre'Quan. He actually won the trade, as both acquired players outscored those he let go. But all four players sucked, if we're being honest, and the team he traded with ended up being his sole competition late on Monday Night Football. 
But still, despite all the sucking, he could have been playing in week two if he had just started a full roster. Instead, he left Adrian Peterson in his #2 flex position after it was announced at dawn on Sunday that AD was a healthy scratch.
Sad to see him go, especially so late in his life when we know he probably doesn't have much else going for him. But his fantasy beginner's luck comes to an end here in the opening round.
No one wanted to be that team that was eliminated first. Several franchise owners even expressed to me that they deemed it "mathematically impossible" to be eliminated in the first week. But Derek found a way.
Derek: 
== New Releases ==
Despite being really terrible, there are some absolute gems hitting the market from Derek's roster.
# Zeke Elliot
# Zach Ertz
# Julian Edelman
# Tarik Cohen
# DJ Moore
I'm very excited to see who overpays for these losers and blows their entire budget in week 2 of a 16 week competition.
== Rules Reminder ==
Just a reminder because I have been getting a lot of questions about the FA and scoring process.
# FAAB Budget for every team is $1,000 for the entire season. To get a player off waivers you must make a bid using your funds. It is blind bidding.
# When teams get eliminated, their players will hit waivers. This should happen by 8am every Tuesday.
# Scoring resets every week. It doesn't matter that you scored close to 300 in week 1. You and the guy who barely broke 100 are back to 0 vs. 0 in week 2.
# Strategy tip: You typically should start players who are actually scheduled to play.
== Tracking the Scores ==
REALLY annoying that the Yahoo Fantasy app does not track the weekly scores live. Best way to track is to go the website on your phone and use the stat tracker feature directly from the site. Or just text me like half the league did and I'll just send you updates because I have nothing better to do than act as the refresh button for live fantasy scoring.
== Week One Results ==
Week One Results
Player 	Total Points
Chris P. 	278.64
Al Snow's Fav Squad	240.30
Katie's Team 	214.88
Bad Boys 	184.38
The Guilloteam 	183.37
Henry VIII 	180.65
Ya Hate 2 See It 	176.03
Kupp for Your Cobb?	175.72
Out of Luck 	166.34
DogTheKareemHunter 	160.41
Neck-Fix and Chill 	157.18
Wrath of Saquon 	145.27
FFDraftScott 	142.86
Cam Shaft 	138.47
Philip's Team 	117.03
Moore $ Mo Problems	115.16
== Kings of the Castle ==
# Chris P's Neat Team - Chris scored more points with two players (Prescott and Watkins) than two teams scored in total (Philip's Team/Moore $/. He nearly broke 300 points...in a 17 team league. That's ridiculous. He also managed that while Corey Davis threw up a goose egg as his WR2 and James Conner barely made half his projection as his RB1.
# Al Snow's Fav Squad - It was looking bleak on TNF, but over 102 points from McCaffrey and Ekeler meant the rest of his roster could take the day off and Al Snow is cruising into week 2. Will be curious to see how he prepares for Melvin Gordon's return between 6-8. Gordon is currently rostered on Ya Hate 2 See It, the 7th-highest scorer.
# Katie's Team - Loving some of these creative names we have here! Anyway, we all laughed when she took Mahomes in the first round, but it pays off in week 1 as his 55.92 led the team. Next was Engram and Hockenson, the nastiest dual-TE threat in Headhunters. RB is looking rough, with just 22.26 points starters/bench combined from the position. 
# Bad Boys - Perhaps the most impressive of all 17 opening week performances, Bad Boys nearly broke 200 by putting together a balanced roster, as opposed to having two guys go bananas. Making the most of the shallow FA pool, Bad Boys acquired McLaurin and Conley without spending a dime in FAAB.
# The Guilloteam - These guys went from a team that many believed would be first out to a top-5 scorer. This week, they get Antonio Brown.
# Henry VIII - Finally, it's Commish with a surprise breakout day from TY Hilton and John Ross, the latter unleashing for 46 points on his bench. It was fun watching Jameis Winston self-destruct, but probably can't have that happen again.
== On the Chopping Block ==
# Philip's Team - One of the two teams that autodrafted, I fully expected that Philip would be getting his head chopped off and we'd all be in a bidding war for DeAndre Hopkins this morning. But there is a reason everyone will be dropping big bucks for the star wideout: he scored a team-best 35.30 on MNF. Still, five starters under 8 points will be unsustainable if he continues to ride the audodraft.
# Cam Shaft - Keeling needed almost an entire half of Broncos/Raiders before Sanders made the lifesaving catch to put him 0.71 points ahead of last place Moore $. They went out and got their man Cam but would have been better off with Phil Rivers (44 on the bench).
# Neck-Fix and Chill - There was no time to chill for Neck-Fix as it took a heroic effort from Drew Brees to take them out of danger on MNF. Outside of their QB, and a now catch-happy Carson, there isn't much to be excited about with this roster. Jason Witten is their starting TE.
# Wrath of Saquon - Let's see what this team is capable of when they plug in Hollywood Brown and let Andy Dalton spread his wings.
# FFDraftScott - Lotta guys with single digit days and some depth issues that will need to quickly be resolved as the bye weeks loom in just a few weeks. I expect a crafty use of the FAAB this week.
# DogTheKareemHunter - Not much to add here, just that I know Nate pretty well and it would be just his luck to get screwed with an early exit given the amount of effort he puts into fantasy.
Remaining Budget
== Remaining Budget ==
Remaining Budget as of 09/10/19
Player 	Total Points
Chris P. 	1000
Al Snow's Fav Squad	1000
Katie's Team 	1000
Bad Boys 	1000
The Guilloteam 	1000
Henry VIII 	1000
Ya Hate 2 See It 	1000
Kupp for Your Cobb?	1000
Out of Luck 	1000
DogTheKareemHunter 	1000
Neck-Fix and Chill 	1000
Wrath of Saquon 	1000
FFDraftScott 	1000
Cam Shaft 	1000
Philip's Team 	1000
Moore $ Mo Problems	0
That's it, folks. The game now officially begins! Best of lucky and happy bidding!