Advice No One Asked For - Number Eight/Transcript

Advice No One Asked For - Number Eight is the eighth episode of Buckley's "Advice No One Asked For" series.  It is available as an audio file on his website (in the "Supplements" section), as well as on YouTube.
Description (as seen on the website): I try and help a woman choose sides in an issue that I didn't even know still existed past 1972.
Description (as seen on YouTube): If there's something I like more than cutting up awful musicians (yes, I'll do that again one of these days, don't rush me!), it's giving advice to people, whether they want it or not.  "Advice No One Asked For" returns with the 8th installment, as I try and help a woman chooose sides in an issue I wasn't aware still existed past 1972.
==Transcript==
(introduction music playing)
Welcome to "Advice No One Asked For".  Once again, your old pal Buckley is here to dispense unwanted advice to someone who didn't ask for my help in the first place.  I knew a girl in college that used to do this - the only difference is, when I do it, no one wishes me to drop dead from a terminal illness.  Anyway, today's question comes from a girl whose grandparents might have white hoods in their closet.
Dear anyone but Buckley,
I am very torn up right now about something that I have been hiding from my family for almost a year now.  My parents are always bugging me about finding a boyfriend but, the thing is, I already have one.  The reason I haven't told them is because I am not quite sure about how they are going to react.  He is an awesome guy, and would do anything for me, but I have a feeling my parents won't appreciate him and see him for the man he is.  I am white and my boyfriend is black.  I know what my grandparents think about interracial relationships and honestly that's what I am afraid of the most.  I know it was a horrible reaction when they saw their friends' daughter marry a black man, and neither were happy at that wedding.  My boyfriend has proposed to me, and I have accepted his proposal, but I don't know how to tell my family.  I don't want to lose my family, but I really don't want to lose the one guy who has always been there for me when I needed him.  I just can't help but feel like I have been lying to my family by not letting them know I'm seeing anyone.  It's starting to tear me apart, so any advice right now would be very helpful.
Signed...let's call her, "Jungle Fever in Fresno".
Well, you have been lying to your family, so there's probably a good reason why you feel like a liar.  They asked if you were blowing anybody currently and you said no - that's a lie.  However, let's talk about your grandpa David Duke and his wife here for a moment.  How shocked do you think they'll be?  Shocked enough for their feeble old hearts to give out?  If so, problem solved on its own - you tell them, they keel over, they won't ruin your wedding. If not, just make sure that when you do tell them, you've removed all the pitchforks and lengths of rope from the toolshed when you bring the fiance around to meet them.  Maybe disable their pickup truck to be on the safe side. As for "mumsy" and "dadsy"?  Just ask your bow to bring the receipt for the engagement ring to prove he didn't steal it and that should shut them up.  If they think he forged the bill of sale, at least in their eyes he's more of a white collar criminal than a hood, so that's gotta be worth something to them.  The alternative - don't tell them!  Get married, start your own family, and surprise them a couple Thanksgivings from now when you bring your hubby and mix-raced kids for the meal, film it, and call it: "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? 2: Pass the Dark Meat".  
(introductory music playing)
I'm Buckley, and you're welcome.