Bad Hair Day (Rewrite)/transcript

Previous Episode: Broken Math Teacher
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: September 22, 2007
Episode Copyrighted: 2007
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins at Brown's House. A brown skinned rectangular prism brunette-haired girl named Brown Rectangle awakes and gets up off her bed.
Brown Rectangle: *yawns* What a great sleep, Pearl. You know what? Someday we're gonna remember all this, and we're gonna look back and say... Remember?
Pearl Krabs: Speaking of remembering, you didn't forget the Rectangopolis High School Dance is tomorrow night, did you?
Brown Rectangle: Of course I didn't forget. I'm so excited.
Pearl Krabs: Me, too!
They both laugh.
Pearl Krabs: *stops laughing in horror and sees Brown's hair*
Brown Rectangle: *laughs nervously*
Pearl Krabs: Your hair.
Brown Rectangle: What?!
Pearl Krabs: Brown, I'm gonna say this as tactfully as possible. Go to the bathroom and look at the mirror.
Brown Rectangle: *shocked* Where's the bathroom?!
Pearl Krabs: The bathroom right over there.
Pearl Krabs and Brown Rectangle: *goes to the mirror*
Pearl moves Brown's hair so she can see it.
Pearl Krabs: There's the mirror.
She looks in the mirror, and notices her hair is messy and a little too tangly. Screen cuts outside of Brown's house.
Brown Rectangle: *offscreen, screams* AAHHHHHHH!
Screen cuts back to Brown's house bathroom.
Pearl Krabs: Brown, your hair is not really bad as—
Screen cuts back outside of Brown's house.
Brown Rectangle: *offscreen, screams again* AAHHHHHHH!
Slide transition cuts to the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob is whistling while mopping the floors.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob SquarePants: *stops mopping* Yes, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Didn't you already mop this area?
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs* Affirmative, captain.
Mr. Krabs: Well, then, why would you mop it again?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why wouldn't I?
There is a pause.
Mr. Krabs: Good point.
Yellow Rectangle: Yeah.
Brown Rectangle: *enters the Krusty Krab and screams* AAHHHHHHH!
Mr. Krabs: Pearl, what brings you in on such a fine afternoon?
Brown Rectangle: Oh Mr. Krabs, it's terrible! I'm having a bad hair day.
Mr. Krabs: Oooh, that is terrible. *shivers* Makes my shell crawl just thinking about it. Bleugh!
Brown Rectangle: You don't understand! The terrible part is that I can't go to the dance!
Mr. Krabs: *comes closer* Why ever not?
Brown Rectangle: Because I have messy and little too tangly on my hair!
Mr. Krabs: Oh-ho-ho-ho. Now, calm down there, Brown. I'm sure it can't be half as awful as you—
Brown's hair is shown messy and a little tangly.
Mr. Krabs: *screams* Great rusty hinges of Davy Jones' Locker!
Brown Rectangle: I have to comb my hair, no matter what it takes!
Mr. Krabs: Anything for me beloved angel.
Brown Rectangle: Oh, okay. Going to the store and buying some hair gel, and probably some other kind of—
Mr. Krabs: *stops her, angrily* I meant whatever you need to get rid of your blemish, not liquidate me retirement fund!
This causes Brown to scream again, soaking a table Harold and Nat are having lunch at.
Harold the Fish: You know what? Let's go across the street to the Chum Bucket.
Nat Peterson: I heard they have better weather over there.
They leave the Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs: *chases after them but fails* No! Wait!
Brown Rectangle: *continues to scream*
Mr. Krabs: This is starting to eat away me profit margin. If I don't come up with a solution fast, it's gonna cost me more than a couple cases of cold cream. *notices SpongeBob mopping past him*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sings* La, la, la! La, la, la, la, la, la, la!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Yellow.
Yellow Rectangle: *stops*
Mr. Krabs: How would you like to...
He salutes.
Mr. Krabs: ...At ease.
Yellow Rectangle: *drops my hand*
Mr. Krabs: How would you like to do your dear old chum a favor?
Yellow Rectangle: I will do you this favor, chum, never fear.
Slide transition cuts to Brown's house.
Brown Rectangle: Aw, man… My hair! I just brushed my own hair last night. Why is it so messy?
White Rectangle: I dunno, White... Probably cause you’re tossin’ and turnin’?
Brown Rectangle: Very funny, White. Now get outta here!
White Rectangle: What? I’m just talking to you! *lifts weights*
Brown Rectangle: *seems to be timid* And by the way, what time is it, White?
White Rectangle: *shouts from far* It’s uh… 9:55 am.
Brown Rectangle: Aw, bummers! I better get going! Or I'm gonna be late for the high school dance! And I'm gonna be grounded if we don’t make it back home before 3:00 pm!
White Rectangle: *comes back out to check on her* Hey, Brown, uh, aren’t you gonna fix your hair?
Brown Rectangle: *gets angry* CAN IT, WHITE! IT AIN’T THAT BAD. BESIDES, NOBODY IS GONNA STARE AT MY HAIR ONCE WE ARRIVE. TRUST ME. AND MARK MY WORDS…
White Rectangle: *sighs and leaves*
Brown Rectangle: *cries*
Yellow Rectangle: *thinks* Hmm…
With tears in her eyes.
Brown Rectangle: *begins to feel desperate about this situation* So Yellow comes in to help her.
Yellow Rectangle: Hey, Brown. Why a long face?
Brown Rectangle: *feels a little angry and cries* WELL… *sniffs* You don't know about what happened to me, but— I guess I was tossin’ and turnin’ on my bed and when I woke up, poof!  My hair has gone freakish!  Now, I don't know what to do. I understand we’ve got a game to play in one hour, but… *sighs* Geez, if only I didn’t feel embarrassed in front of my friends… I’m so ashamed of myself.
Yellow Rectangle: There’s no need to be ashamed, Brown. Besides, when it comes to bad hair day, whoo! Let me tell ya what, honey... I know just what to do!
Brown Rectangle: Oh, yeah? How?
Yellow Rectangle: Well, Brown, let me show ya.
Yellow and Brown Rectangle: *comes inside a bathroom*
Brown Rectangle: *puts on my swimsuit*
They walk inside the bathtub.
Yellow Rectangle: Like always playing soccer. You’ve always gotta keep your hair as clean as a whistle! And that’s exactly what I’m gonna help you with!
Brown Rectangle: *clueless* Um… Okay. And your point is…
Yellow Rectangle: The thing of beauty, right?
Brown Rectangle: How so?
Yellow Rectangle: *pulls out items* Glad you’ve asked. ‘Cause with some shampoo and conditioner, anything’s possible!
And with that, Yellow turns on the shower’s water spout, and begins to wet Brown’s messy hair.
Yellow Rectangle: Now, hold still, Brown. This might take a while.
Brown Rectangle: Huh, whatever you say, Frog Legs.
After wetting Brown’s hair, Yellow is ready to pour some high quality shampoo on top. He gives it a nice scrub around Brown’s hair for about a minute.
Yellow Rectangle: You can feel your hair getting clean, huh, Brown?
Brown Rectangle: Not bad. Not bad.
Yellow Rectangle: *moves on to working on the conditioner to Brown’s scalp* I’m using an extra strength conditioner to help detangle your hair. Trust me, Brown. I use these bad boys all the time to make me look prettier!
Brown Rectangle: *chuckles* Heh, no kidding!
Meanwhile, Yellow and Brown hear a doorbell.
Brown Rectangle: Uh, Yellow, who is it?
Yellow Rectangle: Hmm, I don't know. Probably, it's Lincoln. I'll open the door. *opens the front door*
Lincoln Loud: Hi. *stares at them*
He feels stunned.
Lincoln Loud: Hi.
Yellow Rectangle: Lincoln, is that you?
Lincoln Loud: Yeah, it's me, Lincoln.
Brown Rectangle: What do you want, Lincoln?
Lincoln Loud: Can we talk?
Brown Rectangle: First of all, you're not allowed in my house.
Yellow Rectangle: Let it go, Brown. Let it go.
Lincoln Loud: Sorry, guys. Carry on. *leaves*
Brown Rectangle: *closes the front door* What was that all about?
Yellow Rectangle: Hmm... Beats me. Anyhow, let’s finish cleaning your hair, Brown!
Brown Rectangle: Cool. Cause I don’t want any other weird stuff happening for another minute.
So Yellow rinses Brown’s hair to make it extra sparkly clean. He turns off the shower and gives Brown a towel to dry it off.
Brown Rectangle: Boy, that shower felt so good for my hair! Looks like I needed it more than anyone else who could kick that big fat guy in the pants! *laughs*
Yellow Rectangle: *laughs* Sweet! I’m glad you enjoyed it. But I don’t think we’re done yet, Brown.
Brown Rectangle: Huh? I’m sorry, what?
Yellow Rectangle: That was only part one of the process, honey. Next comes part two. And I’ve got a surprise for you, girl. You’ll love it!
So Yellow immediately asks Brown to close her eyes, and takes her to an indoor facility near the ballpark.
Yellow Rectangle: Okay, in three… Two… One… Open up!
Brown Rectangle: *opens my eyes*
What she sees actually blows her mind.
Yellow Rectangle: Ta-da…!  Brown, it's Mr. Krabs' jewels!
Brown Rectangle: *feels speechless* Uh… Mr. Krabs' jewels? But why are we here?
Yellow Rectangle: Well, you told me you had a bad hair day, remember? And I can’t completely fix your hair without his jewels. So I'm gonna fix your hair!
Brown Rectangle: Eh? Haircut for my hair? I don't know why! I’m not really into this kinda stuff like youse are. And besides, it could take forever to get my hair done, and the dance starts in three hours! There ain’t no chance in heck— that you’re giving my hair a haircut! No way! Absolutely no— to the way!
Yellow Rectangle: But… I thought we already agreed to get your hair fixed, Brown.
Brown Rectangle: Well, hear this! If I hadn’t been in that situation before, I would’ve—
Yellow Rectangle: Wait a minute, that gives me an idea..
Slide transition cuts to Brown's room.
Yellow Rectangle: Now just remain calm, and this'll be over before you know it.
Brown Rectangle: You're really gonna use hypnosis to get my hair fixed?
Yellow Rectangle: Hypnosis? No! I'm just going to comb your hair. *combs Brown's hair* Hold still now. continues to comb Brown's hair, then grunts trying to fix her hair*
Brown Rectangle: Is everything okay?
Yellow Rectangle: *shows broken hair comb* I don't think the hair comb is going to work. *brings some hair gel* This hair gel ought-a do it. *puts hair gel on Brown's hair*
Brown Rectangle: Is my hair fixed?
The hair gel is on top of Yellow's head
Yellow Rectangle: Getting there.
Next, Yellow tries fixing Brown's hair with the hairstyling.
Brown Rectangle: Yellow, how much longer?
Yellow Rectangle: Oh... shouldn't be too much longer.
The hairstyling disintegrates.
Yellow Rectangle: Actually, we could take a break now if you want.
Brown Rectangle: Good idea. I gotta go fix my hair now with hair grow.
Yellow Rectangle: Okay. *throws the hairstyling aside, which lands in a pile of other broken tools*
In the bathroom, Brown is putting some hair grow on her hair. She suddenly screams.
Yellow Rectangle: *hears it, then walks into the bathroom* Brown!
Brown is seen with her messy and little tangly hair growing.
Yellow Rectangle: Brown, what happened?
Brown Rectangle: My messy hair is growing!
Yellow Rectangle: *shrieks* I mean, you're right. Your messy hair is growing.
Brown Rectangle: *screams* What's happening to me?
Her hair skin grows.
Yellow Rectangle: Brown, this is terrible. You have hair skin.
Brown Rectangle: *puzzled* All I did was put my hair with hair grow! There's hair on my body everywhere!
Yellow Rectangle: *examines the hair grow* Hmm... Hair grow?
Brown Rectangle: Yes, but why?
Yellow Rectangle: *looks at the hair grow* Because this hair grow is so wonderful! That's why. Hmm, I know this fragrance from somewhere. *keeps looking at the hair grow* Oh, I'm sorry, did you want a whiff?
Brown Rectangle: No.
Yellow Rectangle: *continues looking* More for me!
We cut to the living room, where Brown is seen with her skin smothered in concealing cream.
Yellow Rectangle: *holds the jar of cream* Ok, Brown.
Brown Rectangle: *tries to say something*
Then she mumbles due to how much concealing cream Yellow put on her skin.
Yellow Rectangle: No, I think one jar of concealing cream is enough. And don't worry, Brown, nobody will notice a thing.
Mr. Krabs: *enters Brown's house* I'm back! *looks at Brown has lot of hair skin, then screams loudly*
Yellow Rectangle: Something wrong, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: For a second there, I thought a towering, hideous, mind-boggling abomination was standing here, staring at me in my own living room, but then I realized... *sweetly* it's only his beloved friend, Brown.
Brown Rectangle: *mumbles again*
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Brown. No, no, no, no expensive trips to the spa. But don't worry, Yellow here will take care of it. Oh, if you two will excuse me, I've got some important matters to take care of. *walks over to a safe full of diamonds and jumps in* Me jewels!
Later, Brown is in the bathroom crying again.
Yellow Rectangle: Brown? *knocks on the bathroom door* Brown, you've been in the bathroom crying for three hours now. You can't stay in there forever. I heard you screaming last night.
Brown Rectangle: *from inside* I'm not going to the dance!
Yellow Rectangle: Alright, I'm coming in. *opens the door, which causes a flood of tears to gush out into the hallway, then swims against the current and makes it in* Look at the bright side, Brown. At least you can still play the piano.
Brown Rectangle: What could do that to me?
Yellow Rectangle: I have no idea.
Brown Rectangle: *bawls*
Yellow Rectangle: Don't worry, Brown. I'll fix your hair.
Brown Rectangle: How?
Yellow Rectangle: Well, I'm sure if I think hard enough, something will pop up.
Something does pop up, and Brown's messy hair and her skin hair is still growing.
Yellow Rectangle: Oops, I didn't mean it like that. *sees the hair grow and picks it up* Hey, it's that delicious-smelling soap again. *starts looking at the hair grow*
Brown Rectangle: *snatches it away* Would you stop looking at my hair grow?! Why won't you go make yourself useful and get me another can of it? *starts putting hair grow on my hair*
Yellow Rectangle: Okay. *to myself* How do I trim her hair?
Brown Rectangle: *runs away*
Yellow Rectangle: *stops her* Oh, no-no-no-no-no, Brown. You can't start running away.  Besides, you're gonna be my pal today.
Brown Rectangle: *gulps*
Yellow Rectangle: Come on, Brown!
He drags Brown to get her seated in a salon chair.
Yellow Rectangle: Now, Brown... I promise you this shouldn't take long. It'll be a piece of cake before you know it. So sit back, relax, and enjoy your treatment.
Brown Rectangle: Oh, yeah, right. Like that’s ever gonna—
Yellow Rectangle: *places headphones on Brown’s ears with smooth jazz music playing throughout the device*
Brown Rectangle: Hmm... Okay, I guess I’ll be around here for a while. *deep breath and sighs*
Yellow Rectangle: *talks to myself* Works every time.
And so, Yellow begins the process of Brown’s hair for a haircut.
Yellow Rectangle: We’re gonna start off with scissors, and maybe in our world, there’s some Mr. Krabs' jewels in his jewel safe.
He shaves Brown's skin hair, and gently gets rid of it all the way round her body.
Yellow Rectangle: *pulls Brown’s left side of the headphones* How’re you feeling, Brown?
Brown Rectangle: *calmly sighs* Like a million bucks.
Yellow Rectangle: Good.
He then puts the headphones back on Brown’s ears and continues to get rid of Brown’s skin hair.
Brown Rectangle: *feels relaxed*
As she continues to listen to some good smooth jazz music.
Yellow Rectangle: *trims Brown's hair* There, that should do it. *moves on to grab a hand shower*
He puts on some gloves, turns on the water, and then washes her hair.
Yellow Rectangle: We’re just about halfway through this part, so stand still. *uses a bucket to catch the soap off of Brown’s hair so it wouldn’t make a mess on the floor*
Then he grabs a hair brush and gently strokes Brown’s hair with it, just in case her hair doesn’t get tangled.
Yellow Rectangle: *happily sighs* This is my life... *pulls out a hair dryer and uses it to help dry Brown’s hair in an instant, then whistles*
Brown Rectangle: Is it over yet, Yellow?
Yellow Rectangle: Almost done, Brown. Almost done...
He then turns off the hair dryer, pulls it out, and grabs a small mirror with a handle.
Yellow Rectangle: Okay, Brown! Now, we need Mr. Krabs' jewels for your hair! Stay here for a few minutes!
Brown Rectangle: Okay.
Screen cuts to Mr. Krabs' house.
Yellow Rectangle: *walks to Mr. Krabs' jewel safe to get his jewels*
Screen back to Brown's house in the bathroom.
Yellow Rectangle: *walks back to the bathroom, then puts Mr. Krabs' jewels on Brown's hair* Done! What do you think? *hands Brown the mirror*
She can glimpse at it.
Brown Rectangle: Hmm… Oh, wow! My hair looks amazing and stylish! And sparkly.
Her hair begins to spark with Mr. Krabs' jewels from the lights.
Brown Rectangle: Yellow, you know how to do hair grooming!
Yellow Rectangle: I’m glad you’ve enjoyed that! How do you feel about your hair now?
Brown Rectangle: Like I just walked down the runway at a fashion show.
Yellow and Brown Rectangle: *laughs*
Yellow Rectangle: Really?
Brown Rectangle: *smiles* Yeah. Never a doubt about that. *looks at her watch* Oh, and it’s only about thirty minutes till the dance starts. Can we get back to high school now so me and Pearl the whale guy can dance?
Yellow Rectangle: You and Pearl the whale guy are gonna head back to high school!
Slide transition cuts to Mr. Krabs' house interior.
Yellow Rectangle: We’re now ready to visit Pearl and her friends! *opens the front door*
Pearl and three of her friends, a whale, a green fish, a blue fish and a pink-orange fish, enter Brown's house.
Pearl Krabs: Brown, we're here to pick you up at the– Wow! Brown, you look amazing!
Brown Rectangle: I do?
Pearl Krabs: Well, now, actually, not amazing. Sparkly, and shiny, and amazing!
Brown Rectangle: Whee! To the Rectangopolis High School Dance!
Brown Rectangle, Pearl Krabs and 3 Girl Fish Friends: *laughing* Let's go!
They run out of the house.
Yellow Rectangle: *shuts the door behind them* Have a good time, carefree teens.
Mr. Krabs: *screams and exits my jewel safe* Me jewels! Yellow, me entire collection of precious jewels is gone! Have you seen it?
Yellow Rectangle: Of course. Brown's wearing it on her hair to the Rectangopolis High School Dance.
Mr. Krabs: Help! Police! Thief! *runs out of the house and breaks through the door* Stop that brown rectangular prism!
Yellow Rectangle: I promised Mr. Krabs I wouldn't let him down, and I have partially fulfilled that promise.
Screen fades in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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