Transcript:Horrid Henry Eats Out

Miss Battle-Axe: Every time I write a note to your parents, Henry, it seems to mysteriously disappear. This time, I'm taking no chances. [knocks on Henry's front door]
Mum: [opens the door] Oh. Hello, Miss Battle-Axe. [sighs] What did he do this time?
Miss Battle-Axe: Totally disrupted the class.
Mum: What do you have to say for yourself?
Horrid Henry: [thinks] Wasn't me?
Mum: Get in the house, Henry! [Henry steps inside]
Perfect Peter: You're late.
Horrid Henry: Out of my way, worm! [starts going upstairs]
Mum: Henry, where do you think you're going?
Horrid Henry: [fed up] To my room for the rest of my life.
Mum: No, you can't go to your room.
Horrid Henry: [confused] Huh? [double take] Why not?
Perfect Peter: Because we're going out to dinner at a fancy, grown-up restaurant!
Horrid Henry: Fancy restaurant? No way! Not me. I've been bad! I should be sent to my room. [he starts to run upstairs]
Mum: Not tonight. You're going to have a bath and change your clothes.
Horrid Henry: A bath? Now?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[The title card shows. When the episode resumes, Dad is trying to prise Henry off the radiator in the dining room]
Mum: We could get a babysitter.
Dad: No, we're going out as a family. [Henry loses his grip. He and Dad fly backwards and land on the chairs. Henry runs from the room] Henry!
Mum: [Henry takes the car keys and runs up the stairs] He's got the car keys again.
Dad: [runs upstairs after Henry] Henry, I'm coming in there. [Henry laughs] Henry, no! Not the toilet!
Perfect Peter: He wouldn't, would he?
[The toilet flushes. Mum sighs and gets out the spare car keys]
Mum: You didn't see that, Peter.
Dad: [comes downstairs carrying Henry over his shoulder] Right, let's go.
Perfect Peter: I can't wait! A chance to try new things - I love food. Well um, all except beetroot.
Mum: I love food too. Well, all except squid.
Perfect Peter: Oh, and Dad doesn't like tomatoes.
Horrid Henry: And I don't like anything except Whopper Whoopee burgers. I'm not going [Dad puts Henry down] and that's that!
Dad: Alright Henry, here's the deal. You come along, behave yourself and eat everything on your plate, and I'll give you two pounds.
Horrid Henry: [to the audience] Two pounds? Just for shoving a few mouthfuls of disgusting food in my mouth? Normally I have to do that for free. [he turns to Dad] How about three pounds?
Dad: [not amused] Don't push it, Henry.
Horrid Henry: [goes to shake on it] Okay, deal.
Perfect Peter: What's my reward for being good?
Mum: Goodness is its own reward, Peter darling.
Perfect Peter: [not understanding] Huh?
[The scene changes to the car. Henry pops a piece of chewing gum into his mouth]
Mum: It's very nice of Aunt Ruby to invite us to dinner at Restaurant Le Posh.
Horrid Henry: It won't be as good as Whopper Whoopee. They have real food.
Mum: And your cousin Steve will be there too, boys.
Horrid Henry: [groans] Oh no! Not Stuck-Up Steve!
[Flashback begins. Henry is looking at some comic books in a shop window. Stuck-Up Steve and his butler come out with a pile of comics. Steve shows one with a bat on the front to Henry, then gives Henry one with a toy on the front. Flashback ends]
Perfect Peter: Steve's my favourite cousin.
[The family arrive at Restaurant Le Posh. Dad stops the car outside and Mum, Henry and Peter hop out]
Dad: Um, where shall I park?
Doorman: WE park, Sir. Unless you happen to be the chauffeur.
[Dad gives the keys to the doorman, who gives it to a junior doorman in a blue uniform. A white limousine arrives. The doorman opens the back door and Rich Aunt Ruby steps out]
Rich Aunt Ruby: Darlings!
Perfect Peter: Aunt Ruby!
[Peter walks towards her with his arms outstretched. Aunt Ruby blows him a kiss, then kisses Mum on both cheeks. Henry and Steve glare at each other]
Dad: New car, Ruby?
Rich Aunt Ruby: [laughs] Oh, I'm not sure, darling. All of our limos look at the same to me. [laughs again]
Stuck-Up Steve: What make is your car, Henry? Rust-bucket 2000? [he laughs and snorts]
[Henry takes the piece of gum from his mouth and hands it to the doorman]
Doorman: Thank you, Sir. [he looks at the piece of gum in his hand]
[The family are walking into the restaurant]
Mum: [referring to the fountain] Oh, look at that!
Rich Aunt Ruby: Yes, isn't it fabulous? It's carved completely out of ice!
[The family sit down at their table]
Stuck-Up Steve: I didn't think you'd be coming, Henry.
Horrid Henry: Nu-uh, I'm getting two pounds for eating everything on my plate.
Perfect Peter: And I'm not getting anything, because goodness is its own reward.
Horrid Henry: Huh?
(Henry and Steve together) Be quiet, worm!
[Henry sees Miss Battle-Axe and her mother, Mother Battle-Axe at the entrance talking to the manager]
Mother Battle-Axe: [taps the floor twice with her umbrella] I thought this place was called Le Posh. It don't seem very posh to me.
Miss Battle-Axe: [whispers] Shhh, you're shouting.
Mother Battle-Axe: Don't tell me I'm shouting, Boudicca Battle-Axe! I'll tell you if I'm shouting!
Miss Battle-Axe: Shhh, mother! [the manager takes them to their table]
Horrid Henry: Wow, I didn't think teachers had mothers!
[The waiter hands everyone their menus]
Rich Aunt Ruby: So, what's everyone having? I recommend... [she clears her throat] L'eau de cochon avec les yeux du mouton.
Horrid Henry: [sighs] Don't they know any English?
Stuck-Up Steve: It's a French restaurant, stupid.
Perfect Peter: Um, you order for me, Aunt Ruby. I eat everything. [she turns her attention to him and pats him on the head]
Dad: Yes, perhaps Aunt Ruby should order for all of us.
Mum: [shuts her menu] Excellent idea.
Horrid Henry: No way! I've got to eat everything on my plate, so I'm ordering for myself. [to the waiter] Which one is the hamburger and chips?
Waiter: That would be on the lunch menu Monsieur, and we do not open for lunch.
Stuck-Up Steve: I dare you to order escargots as an appetizer. [he laughs and snorts]
Horrid Henry: 'Ess-cargo'? What's that?
Stuck-Up Steve: Snails!
Horrid Henry: Yeah, right! Like they're gonna serve snails in a fancy restaurant.
Stuck-Up Steve: And then tripe for your main course. That's sheeps' intestines. But if you're chicken... [he imitates a chicken]
Horrid Henry: Don't call me chicken. [to the waiter] I'll have ess-cargo and tripe.
Waiter: Mmm, our specialty. Very good Monsieur. [he goes away, then returns carrying a dish. He removes the lid] Et voilà!
Horrid Henry: [sees it certainly is snails] Ah. Gross!
Stuck-Up Steve: Let's see you eat that. [he snorts with laughter]
[Henry picks up the snail and removes the shell with his fork. It wobbles on his fork. Henry looks at it, horrified. Steve looks smug, while Mum and Dad look on nervously. Henry struggles to bring it to his mouth, when suddenly he remembers the deal he made with Dad]
Dad: [in Henry's imagination] Two pounds, Henry. Two pounds.
Horrid Henry: [he slurps the snail from his fork, chews and swallows it] Mmm. Not bad! Tastes like chewing gum. [Stuck-Up Steve looks shocked. Henry picks up another snail and removes the shell. He leans closer to Steve] Go on, Steve! They're so scrumptious! [Henry slurps the snail from his fork and eats it. Steve looks disgusted]
[The scene changes to Miss Battle-Axe and her mother]
Mother Battle-Axe: Boudicca! Stop slurping.
Miss Battle-Axe: Yes, mother.
Mother Battle-Axe: And eat your vegetables.
Miss Battle-Axe: Yes, mother. [she sees Henry coming towards her] Henry?
Horrid Henry: Good evening, Miss Battle-Axe. I hope you have a scrumptious meal. [he walks away]
Mother Battle-Axe: My, what nice manners? He didn't learn those in your class, I'm sure!
[The scene changes to Henry coming out of the toilet. He looks in the kitchen. A chef takes a bottle of hot sauce and is about to add some to the recipe, but is stopped by the head chef]
Head chef: Zut alors, only two drops! Le sauce posh is too hot and spicy for the English tummy.
Waiter: [sees Henry] Perhaps Monsieur is lost?
Horrid Henry: No, no. My cousin forgot to ask for some 'le sauce posh' on his food. I was going to tell the cook.
Waiter: You have told me. I will inform the chef.
Horrid Henry: Good. My cousin really likes spicy food. At least five drops. [the waiter goes away. Henry fist pumps] Yes!
[The scene changes back to Miss Battle-Axe and her mother]
Mother Battle-Axe: Close your mouth, Boudicca! I swear I can see right down your gullet!
Miss Battle-Axe: M-m-mother.
Mother Battle-Axe: [Horrid Henry walks by] Excuse me, young man? I hope my daughter is teaching you properly.
Miss Battle-Axe: [outraged] Mother!
Horrid Henry: Oh yes ma'am, she does. Goodbye. [he walks away]
Mother Battle-Axe: That lovely boy. He's so sweet.
Miss Battle-Axe: But, mother, he's the most horrid boy in my class!
Mother Battle-Axe: And whose fault is that?
[Henry returns to their table just as the waiting is delivering their food]
Rich Aunt Ruby: Finally, our dinner is here.
Mum: [the waiter takes the lid off her plate, revealing squid] Oh look. Squid. [whispering] I don't like squid.
Dad: [whispering] And I don't like tomatoes.
Perfect Peter: [whispering] And I don't like beetroot.
Horrid Henry: Oh Aunt Ruby, you ordered their favourites.
Rich Aunt Ruby: Aww, it's so nice to be appreciated! I'm sure you will all enjoy every mouthful.
Waiter: And for Monsieur, the specialty of the house: [he removes the lid from Henry's plate] tripe!
Stuck-Up Steve: I wouldn't eat that, not even for two pound. [snorts with laughter again]
Horrid Henry: Once you've eaten a snail, you can eat anything. [he picks some up with his fork and eats it] Ah, delicious! Eat up everyone, this is real food.
Dad: [gulps nervously] Ah, yes. [he cuts off a piece of tomato and eats it. Everyone else does the same with their food]
Horrid Henry: How's your extra-hot sauce, Steve?
[Steve's face turns red and steam shoots from his ears. He jumps up out of his seat and starts running, crashing into a waiting carrying a jug of iced water. The jug flies across the room and the water splashes Miss Battle-Axe, causing her to scream and jump up]
Mother Battle-Axe: Boudicca! Sit down this instant!
[Steve continues running around causing more damage. The manager comes out and directs Steve to the water fountain. Steve sticks his head under the water and cools down. The manager goes to talk to Aunt Ruby]
Manager: [to Aunt Ruby] Madam, you must leave! Your son has caused a great disruption.
Dad: [pushes his plate away] Well, I'm certainly not staying where I'm not wanted.
Mum: [pushes her plate away] Neither am I.
Perfect Peter: [pushes his plate away] Bye-bye, beetroot.
Horrid Henry: But, you said I had to finish everything on my plate.
Dad: [gives Henry a £2 coin] Here's your two pounds, Henry. Now let's go and find some real food. [Henry goes to Miss Battle-Axe's table]
Mother Battle-Axe: Well done, young man; so polite. Not like your young friend. [she gestures to a sobbing Miss Battle-Axe]
[Henry leaves Restaurant Le Posh, tosses and catches his £2 coin. The rest of the family are waiting for him in the car]
Horrid Henry: Whopper Whoopee, here we come! [laughs happily]
Category:Transcripts