2015-01-30 - The Lobsters Are Revolting

It was one of those days. An invasion of Metropolis Bay by a group of giant mutated lobsters had run headlong over into the giant outdoor Sea-Fest BBQ. So, on one end members of the Justice League were trying to prevent the Sea-Fest Goers armed with giant cans of butter and salt from attacking the lobsters.. And on the other trying to stop the giant mutant undersea lobsters from invading Metropolis. It was one of those times that one wished they had the Justice Society to foist off on.
Once again, Diana resited the impulse to bury her hands as she tried to talk to one group. "... They are sentient beings, so you may not crack open their shells and put barbecue sauce on them.."
A magnificent spout of water rises into the air several meters off-shore, then angles downward at the beach - separating human from mutated lobster with... some measure of success. Certainly, a number of people are left drenched - and a few have the added pleasure of eating mouthfuls of sand.
Following the spout out of the water comes a man in green armoured leggings, an orange chainmail shirt and sporting a golden trident slung over his back - riding upon a dolphin, no less. The monarch of the seas - Orin Atlanson - dismounts and wades his way into shore, a hand at his temple as he attempts a telepathic communication with the giant lobsters... spotting Diana, he lifts his other hand in greeting.
Wonder Woman is currently doing her best to remain as regal as the current ridiculous circumstance allows, and she brings her hand together over in a bow, "Thank you for coming here, Orin.. I wish it was under better times.." Diplomacy is something that, while skilled at, Diana does not always particularly enjoy the process of.
And something like -this- she would feel is best served by exiling both groups who want to devour one another somewhere far off - like the moon. But, manners first. "So, do you think we'll have better luck clearing one party or the other?" Both sides seem to have bibs on.
Orin grimaces as he glances between mutant sea-creatures and hungry humans - and the grimace threatens to turn into a scowl (which he manages to control). Lowering a hand from his temple he considers Diana's question - ignoring the cries of indignation rising from the Metropolis citizens affected by his 'entrance'.
The lobsters are looking even more unfriendly.
"I can't get through to them," he tells the Amazonian princess, as more than a few of the creature turn toward him - pincers clacking in a menacing manner. "I think these ones passed through a Corrupted Zone left over from the Merge - they're screaming in my head." He lets out a sigh, shoulders heaving in profound disappointment." He looks at the humans.
"Pity they don't have as good an excuse." To hold off the lobster-mutants, he raises his Waterbearer hand and sends a blast of scalding water into the nearest of them.
At that moment, several people try to use the same moment to slip past the Amazonian...
There's a yelp over from Diana that somehow manages to remain dignified. If only that. "Merciful Minerva, I'm not sure which of them is worse!" As Arthur goes to blast down a line of giant mutant lobsters over with hot water, one of the men lets out a howl, "Let's put 'em on the stir fry 'an grill 'em up!" With that, a bunch of drunken hoodlums went to charge a bunch of drunken crustaceans.
Having to lash out over with her lasso, Diana went to toss it the long way, creating a barrier between the two charging groups. "Can we relocate them somewhere safely?" Like Antarctica. Where the polar bears would eat them all.
Orin's gaze pans back and forth across the space occupied by creatures on one side - and people on the other. Lips drawn into a thin line, he breathes in through his nostrils - then releases the breath in a somewhat explosive sigh.
Fine.
The Atlantean king marches - or rather, stalks - across the sand to the nearest lobster, and quickly dodges a snapping pincer. Gripping the creature by the claw, he mutters a single word: "Sorry," and then spins the giant crustacean about in a whirlwind before releasing it...
...far, far into the sea.
One of the humans stopped by Diana's rope puts both his hands on the magical cord while shouting abuse at both lobster and Justice Leaguer alike. "I'M NOT HERE FOR ANY GOOD REASON!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "MY GIRLFRIEND DUMPED ME AND I JUST NEED TO LET OFF SOME STEAM SO... wait. What?!"
Several of the creatures make a mad dash for the crowd, their intentions homicidal.
With the groups still barely separated, Diana's lasso is forced to lengthen itself. Not normally to be used as a barrier, it is effective only for a few moments as both groups are quickly bypassing one another as one of the giant lobsters pulls out a cummerbund from out of nowhere as it charges to meet with an inordinately fat man who chants, "GIT IN MAH BELLAH!"
A somewhat distressed man in a chef's hat runs past sobbing, "Deer shreemp und deer barbie! Der Boom Boom!" Rampant chaos meets melee as it's a battle of crustacean and fat man as Diana steels herself, trying to limit the damage as the crowd charges with ridiculously oversized looking forks.
Orin picks up another giant crustacean and tosses it out to sea, only to turn and gape at the humans and their clammering. He blinks at Diana. "How do you stand these... lungmen?!" he demands of her, using an insult common amongst his kind for land-dwellers (but seldom heard from his own lips). He rolls his eyes and gazes at the ocean, mouthing the words: "Why me?" Then a lobster clamps down on his foot. Hard. In the meantime, as other humans try to push past Wonder Woman's rope, exclamations of 'truths' can be heard from them the moment their hands touch it. 
"I stole the money from the church collection!"
"I never loved you!"
"I thought about reporting it to the cops and then, well, it's a wallet full of cash so..."
"I'm gay!"
In the middle of it all - as Orin wrestles with a lobster to keep it from eating his foot - a man runs straight for Diana. Full pelt. Moments from colliding with her, he skids to a stop and gasps: "Wonder Woman! Can you, uh, sign this..." and he takes off his baseball cap, "'To Walter, with Love... Wonder Woman'?! Please!"
Wonder Woman makes a decision then - this is not the most appropriate avenue for her Lasso's truth powers, in such uncontrolled and chaotic conditions. So she has to quickly retract it, letting her eyes scan around. "Orin, we have to stop this madness at its root before it escalates further!" Chasing one another in a circle, the man in the floofy chef's hat wielding a torch is chased/chasing a lobster which is wielding a pitchfork.
When will it end? Diana quickly looks about for something to use over as an artificial barrier, "Orin, can you blast them all with your water as high a temperature as they can take without permanent injury?"
Orin - prying his foot loose and tossing the lobster-man away - looks at Diana. The look says, "You're right. This isn't working." He nods and points with his flesh hand at the crowd.
"Keep them back. I can't risk killing anyone with this," he warns her, then he raises his left hand - all solidified water. Extending his arm, the hand's shape morph and twists - then steam rises from it in a cloud, like a kettle left on the boil. A half-second later, a torrent of boiling water thicker than his arm and more powerful than a fire-hose blasts outward - striking the nearest of the lobsters full in the face. Scalding droplets fly in all directions as Orin directs the torrent from one sea-creature to another - doing what he can to avoid hitting land-dwellers as well.
The lobster-people turn and make for the ocean.
At this point, Diana doesn't mind the screams that come from the land dwellers as the blasts of water hit them as well. There's a particularly loud and agonized scream from one, "STINGS LIKE REAL HYGIENE!" Oh, someone needs to make more regular use of the beach showers, even on this particularly cold morning. Steam sizzles and bubbles up in the air as beachgoers and beach monsters alike flee, leaving discarded paraphernalia of picnicking about.
Over to the side, what looks -suspiciously- like some sort of sports mascot - some sort of foam'ish looking Bear with a tie and top hat, "See now Boo Boo, just like I'ah said. All of it's for us now."
His smaller seemingly also mascot'd companion sighed, "Yes Yogi.." Some things were better left unanswered.
Diana went to flick her lasso out, "Do you think we can clear the beach and the coast before both groups attempt to come back, Orin?"
Orin's expression is one of profound regret - mostly for the lobster-people. As the last of them make for the safety (and coolness) of the sea, he strides across the beach toward the Amazon, and lowers the hand of the Waterbearer. Reaching for his trident, he glances back over his shoulder at the humans - several of whom back away at the sight of the weapon.
As if it were really the most dangerous thing about him.
Or Wonder Woman for that matter.
Touching the prongs to the sand, the sea-monarch closes his eyes and the tide gradually seems to roll away - carrying the lobster-mutants with it. The process is gradual - but fast enough that it looks like footage from a time-lapse camera of the shore.
"This is the best I can do for now," he tells Diana, his eyes still closed in concentration. "I cannot risk upsetting the balance along the coast here any further... I'm sorry. I should have gotten here sooner."
He opens his eyes.
"I have instructed the other sea-life to hinder these... creatures. We'll see if that helps. What about you? What about... that lot?" and he glances at the crowd, drawing his trident back up again.
There's a flash over in her eyes of contemplation as both ends of the beach have been mostly cleared. Diana thinks, trying to come up with the best way to ensure that there is not a repeat of this chaos and shenanigans.
"I believe I will let their significant others know what sort of histrionics that they have caused. Between that and requiring them to clean up the beach from all of the littering they have caused.." The monster lobsters sent back over into the sea are likely going to get the easier part of it as opposed to the 'pissed off girlfriend lecture'.
"OH MY GAWWWD!!" squeals a chorus of female voices from further away - not yet near enough to the crowd to be considered part of it. 
"Wonder Woman! It's Wonder Woman!"
"Quick - get the phone! Get the phone!"
"I gotta tweet this! A real Justice League hero!!"
"And... who's the other guy?"
Orin had been about to reply to his friend, when the noise draws his attention beyond her. He scowls. "How do they not recognise me - you know what, never mind." His scowl deepening, he steps deliberately past Diana - lowering his trident to point at the people nearest to them. "I'll only say this once," he tells the humans with his voice raised to be heard. The pointy end of the trident starts to glow.
"Leave. Now."
One of the women looks over at Aquaman and can't help but cross her arms, "You're totally holding it the wrong way! And my god that outfit is hideous. I mean, even by superhero, or I mean stupor hero standards. It looks like you're wearing neon underwear on the outside. And what are those ridiculous tights? They look so absurd. And don't get me if you're putting on weight.."
Diana lets out a sigh, "And it seems that the fairer sex are just as devilish as they would say of their more masculine companions.." Zeus might have been on to something about Hera.
With a quick glare, Diana strides to stand next to Orin, "All of you. Begone. NOW. Before you foul my temper worse than it already is and you add Poseidon's wrath to mine and the King of the Seas."
Orin glowers at the human woman's critique of his attire, but bites back any verbal retort. It becomes unnecessary to reply at all, when Diana steps up beside him - and then he has to resist the urge to smirk. "Don't tell Mera about this," he murmurs under his breath to his friend - not moving his lips.
Then, to add a bit of drama to Wonder Woman's austere dismissal of the humans, Orin snaps his fingers and water from the shore erupts in a spout - similar to his arrival, but less severe - depositing the deluge solidly upon the land-dwellers.
The trident stops glowing.
"It's Atlantean chainmail," he mutters under his breath, to no one in particular - but only for Diana's hearing. "Who'd think I'd take orange by choice?!"
There's a completely sympathetic look over from Diana about the commentary on your attire, and she lets out a sigh, "Isn't there the possibility that they had other dyes that could be put upon the metallic finish?" Her eyes are twinkling in a rare display of humor even after the nonsense that this evening has been.
"On the upside, if there's a resurgence I'm sure you can simply take some of each back home to Mera and say you've been hunting for things she can properly cook. I'm sure she'll appreciate that."
As the crowd disperses - finally, their ire sufficiently dampened (pun intended) - Orin slings the trident back over his shoulder once more and turns to face Diana. His expression is rueful.
"I'll take that under advisement. You know... in the beginning I couldn't imagine leaving the land for the ocean - but now..." he gives the departing humans a muted glare. "More Corrupted areas are just... appearing. Seismic disturbances, too. I need to send word to that 'other' Earth. Namor should be warned..." A shrug of his shoulders and he takes half a step away from Diana, toward the sea.
"What about you? Back to business? And thanks, by the way." He motions with his chin to indicate 'the incident' in general.
Wonder Woman nods over at Orin, "Yes, we should be wary. And we should alert our counterparts that there are possible threats on the horizon, whatever these things are. Particularly if the boundaries are thinning once more, and there are greater things to come. Better to watch what is coming." She went to tap at her chin, closing her eyes and thinking.
"And I am well. I am not busy as of late, but there is always things happening. So I do not know at any point if we were to come under threat and we would be at war once again." Against evil and crime.
The sea-monarch nods, then walks a few more paces toward the shore - pausing as he has water lapping about his ankles. "I'll report in soon," he calls back to Diana. "I need to see these... creatures - I can still hear them screaming - relocated to somewhere safe." The man offers a mock-salute in farewell, then dives beneath the waves and disappears from sight.
Until he shows up in the distance, riding a dolphin for the hell of it.
END TRANSMISSION.