Desmond Lettuce

Desmond Lettuce is a recurring player created character, portrayed by Oli Ryder, in Budgens and Dragons.
== Show Bio ==
Desmond Lettuce is a magician extraordinaire! Can make the world, the fabric between ours and the next, seem as thin as toilet paper!
A crap magician he’s a crap magician who thinks he’s great, extremely over confident. Would be a Mage in actual DnD.
Pros: He's genuinely supportive of others, can attempt to use magic powers
Cons: Not a very good magician, has far too much confidence.
== Appearances ==
=== Episode 5: Ritualistic Dance of the Cuckoos ===
Desmond is the first to wake up, but is the third to appear into the kitchen. He appears with a puff of smoke in front of Mother, Audrey Ballsit, and Mans Ingonyama. This frightens the lion to death. Using the power of reiki, Desmond brings Mans back from the dead. Desmond gets Mother to say which card she desires. Upon learning the cost of the scratch card, Desmond offers his wages from his last gig, which happened to be £5. Mother gives Desmond a kiss for being the responsible one in charge of the money. She professes her love to him. Desmond uses his instinct to determine the right way to Budgens. Audrey tries to convince him that the opposite direction is the correct path, but Desmond calls her out on how absurd she was being. Mans and Graham Christmas side with Desmond and they turn left. Audrey shits herself in response, which covers everyone. Mans falls asleep, and the group hears two thuds in the distance. But Desmond ignores this, and carries on with the task of going to Budgens. He and Audrey chase after Mans, now awake, who bolts at the sound of those thuds. Desmond is caked with more of Audrey's shit. Desmond is disgusted, but ever more eager to carry on. 
Desmond throws a smoke bomb while crossing the road, in order to cross safely. This works surprisingly well and everyone makes it to the midway point unharmed. Desmond attempts to cross after Mans and Graham just strode to the other side. Several cars pile into him and eviscerate him. 
TBA: Loop 6, 8, 39, 40, 92, 93
== Confirmed Kills ==
This is the list of kills, direct, or otherwise, that were caused by Desmond's actions.
# Appearing suddenly in front of the group, and causing Mans Ingonyama to die of fright. - Episode 5, Loop 6
== Quotes ==
"...and in the cupboard, you'll find ME!" - Episode 6, Loop 8
"How's everybody doing? I'm covered in SHIT!" - Episode 5, Loop 6
== Trivia ==
* Despite his bio saying he is shit at magic, he proved himself to be surprisingly good at magic. Although many times this led to Mother accidentally dying of fright.
* His voice is partially based off of the character Harold Steptoe, from the tv series Steptoe & Son.
* His return to the show was heavily requested off-air by Andy Ward and Kristie Pallini.
Category:Character
Category:Human
Category:Season 1
Category:OliChar