Marco - Funny Moments

The Marco franchise is perhaps the most hysterical animated film series to ever exist, thanks to its proper use of random jokes and pop culture gags. This article is solely dedicated to the first film released in 2005. For the other Marco movies, search for "Marco - Funny Moments"
Almost pretty much the whole movie. It's exactly a 1.9-hour "Looney Tunes-meets-James Bond" mockumentary style comedy routine run by and written for Deadpan Snarkers.
== Marco (2005) ==
* The Columbia Pictures Logo Joke at the beginning of the film, in which the torch lady gets shrunk by Marco, who proceeds to hold her up in a similar manner before getting hit by lightning. Prior to this, there's that very cool presentation Marco usually does, making the intro even funnier.
*The first lines of the movie alone, as Marco makes commentary on the opening logos:
**Marco: "Whoa. Black. Every single film that's gonna be good has to start with a black screen. Alrighty, let's start rolling." 
**(the Columbia Pictures score kicks in) 
**Marco: "And music. Well, that's the Columbia Pictures song. Sorry for that." [Beat] "Watch this..." 
**(Marco does the aforementioned Logo Joke) 
**Marco: "Have you seen me? Now, let's see... um, Actors 3D Entertainment? I'll give that one to my cousin Joaquin." 
**(Actors 3D Entertainment logo fades away) 
**Marco: "Oops. I need to fix the lighting later." [moves onto the next logo] "Anaya Animation. The house that I would build. Next." (the movie starts) "Okay, I'm good here. Let's get the movie started, shall we?"
* Right before Marco ends his opening lines once he's about to introduce himself, the camera fixates on some random guy disguised as Marco, and he says the following as he Comically Misses The Point:
** Marco: "No, not that guy. I meant, that other guy. Yes, that other... wait, never mind, seems like I hadn't been born yet. Oh, great."
* A group of tourists accidentally stampede on Joe as they get off the bus, that even an elderly man did so too! Later when the hurricane comes, the same old man begins running so slow that a turtle speeds up past him.
*Kevin's birthday party scene, in which a young Kevin does his wish before blowing off the candles from his cake, resulting in one of his cousins getting caught on fire by the wind and jumping out the window. Surreal Humor done in a kids film, eh?
**Kevin: "I wish... I wish... I wish..." [wind blows the candles and gets Armando on fire]
**Armando: "I WISH THIS NEVER HAPPENED!!! AAAGH!!!" [jumps out the window]
**Kevin's cousin, whose name is Armando during the end credits, performs the "Stop, Drop, and Roll" process while saying it fast twice; and soon realizes behind him that the house has been set on fire. Cue Kevin and his relatives running away before this happens, followed by a crew of filmmakers as they record everything about Kevin's birthday party.
**This part also serves as perhaps the funniest (and best) Gone With The Wind reference since that movie got released:
***Armando: [deadpan] "Oh, great. The house has been set on fire." [burning intensifies] "What are you two doing here? GET OUT OF MY CAR!"
***Cameraman: "Dude, we were just filming this scene!"
* Literally every time Bom Bin appears on screen, thanks to Ed Helms and his circus-related gags. He even comments on why people no longer attend the circus as they used to back in his glory days, in his most deadpan tone:
** Bombin: "Technology. Everyone's on their weezy flip thing, and I'm just a lonely clown. What a bummer." 
* And frankly speaking of Bom Bin, his first circus show is actually a parody of Sesame Street called "Carl The Cuckoo Monster", yet it plays out more as if The Muppets were a puppet show. It features the titular antagonist (who's well, you guessed it, the purple unholy child of Cookie Monster & Barney) and a green, washed up version of Elmo named Eddie as his sidekick. Of course the hero is Bom Bin's right hand man Pepito, who humorously delivers one-liners for the show, including this Incredibly Lame Pun that doubles as Awesome: "I'm not your puppet. I'm Pepito." 
*A baby Marco's first words after he raises his arm below to cover himself from light, as he whimpers a funny-cute "We-be-be-be-be!" from his mouth. Seconds later, he shows up with Puppy-Dog Eyes after the nurse says he's good for attending the upcoming Mardi Gras parade.
**Marco: [gleefully excited with his Puppy-Dog Eyes] "Are you gonna take me there?"
**Nurse: [surprised by Marco's voice] "Wow, he's going to be the smartest baby everyone will know!"
*When News Reporter Bill Weathers addresses the "devastating hurricane" incident at Galveston, he also talks about how the various fish got evaporated at the Dead Sea, a platoon of tanks guarding the Great Wall as they swivel their turrets to shoot "The Big Duck" (which is of course, the world's biggest rubber duck), and protecting the world's "endangered species of mimes", cue to one mime attempting to steal a criminal's wallet before said criminal points his gun towards the mime, who lifts his hands up and surrenders.
* Marco's attempts at breaking the fourth wall come out as pretty hilarious, such as having the "Theme Song Guy" only appear at the beginning (he would later break the fourth wall as the one actually singing "Don't Believe Me, Just Watch" in the end), and how Marco points out various clichés to get rid of as the film progresses. There's even one scene in which Marco draws on the fourth wall! 
**And speaking of fourth wall breaking, we've also got this hidden gem from Marco as he attempts to draw a cartoon version of Elizabeth and himself. 
***Elizabeth: "Wow, you're such a great artist, but we need this to look more lovely, don't you think?" 
***Marco: "Yeah, sure. We're both looking great as cartoons having fun at the beach, where I was born." [looks at himself in the mirror] "Did I mention that to you already?" 
***Elizabeth: "Yes. I want your autograph right now!" 
* When Marco & Fred meet each other for the first time at McDonald's:
**Marco: "YEAH BABY!" [cuts in line] "FREEZE RAY! Freeze YOU! Freeze YOU! Freeze me! Hahaha... wait, why am I being frozen to death? Why am I still talking to you?"
**Fred: "To whom? I have absolutely no idea to whom you're referring to, sir."
**Marco: "Well, you of course. Now, please tell me something. I want my frappe already with two Happy Meals, one for me and one for my bro, two Astro Boys, and no extra membership fees. Okay, dude?"
**Fred: "Okay, sounds well. Here you go, sir. That'll be twenty-five dollars and fifty-two cents, sir."
**Marco: "I said no membership fees!"
* What does Marco use as his currency, besides the US dollar? Monopoly money. As he tells Pepe, "You don't pay with these. You pay everything in this world with... Monopoly money."
**Then Pepe starts to wonder if money would ever fall from the sky like the day they first met. Marco responds, "No. Never. Never in a million years." [Beat] "Oh, Pepe! Come on, bro. Of course we'll both get lots of cash, someday!" 
*From a sign: "Secret Agency Bank (formerly Enron Corporation Bank)"
*Guess who runs the Secret Agency Bank? None other greater than... a baby sworn as the Godfather.
*Joaquin & Emiliano's Establishing Character Moment when they use red paint for a cracked wall. There's a hint of Black Comedy in which the two kiddos face paint each other before Emiliano falls down with the red paint all over him. Marco's reaction to this just sells it.
*Joaquin & Emiliano aiming to play Texas Hold'Em poker like Pepe & Kevin, without having any idea of how the game works. Instead, they decide to watch the other two play and give a Casino Royale reference for laughs after they both lost the game. 
*Kevin's Constant Gag with Marco's ridiculously slow electric shopping cart. This becomes funnier when he uses it to go after Joe & Alondra.
** There's also a Constant Gag for some characters. Pepe has a charming habit of mispronouncing Spanish words like saying "caine" instead of carne (which is "meat" in Spanish). Whenever something has gone wrong, Joaquin & Emiliano either say "uh oh", get into a brief Minion-like fight, or comically slap each other's faces.
* Any time Marco says something in his deadpan tone. He's a unique Deadpan Snarker after all.
**Marco: "Hello everybody!" [deadpan] "Welcome to my underground lair, where monsters and spiders appear out of the nowhere..." [Everyone looks around in terror] "Just kidding. It was my first deadpan joke."
**It plays out more as a Self-Depreciating joke when you think about it for a second.
*Trying to pull off a grand heist of his own, Marco reveals that he stole a huge Jumbotron... at a living room, no less. Esau and Mateo (the "tax collector" kid who owns a miniature bank outside his home) attempt plugging the cord to Marco's utter nonchalance, until the seventh time.
**Marco: [deadpan] "Oh, great. This is the seventh time so far, and you two are still acting crazy like... kids."
* What do Joaquin & Emiliano's buddies use the Jumbotron for? Watching soccer.
* When Marco reveals his newest scheme to become the world's greatest spy, the kids get a little too excited and pull out weapons well before he reveals what it is. One of the kids, Esau, goes as far as pulling off his chainsaw! Marco, however, is thinking of doing something fun that's literally having nothing to do with espionage... and then Joaquin & Emiliano accidentally fire their toy rocket launcher, much to Marco's utter shock.
** Marco: "Wait, no, no, no... we're not gonna defeat someone! But instead, we are going to throw a huge party, right now! Or maybe later, and we'll extend it to five hours. Or let's say... six hours!"
** Joaquin & Emiliano: [whilst the other kids chanting on Marco] "Que vive la fiesta! La fiesta!" [launch toy rocket towards Marco by accident]
** Marco: "AH! Who did that?!"
** [Joaquin & Emiliano giggle while Brian and the other kids point themselves as if they were the ones to blame]
** Marco: "HA HA HA... very funny."
**During the film's climax scene, Pepe & Kevin say the above underlined quote as they exchange laughing gas with their Laugh-A-Lot guns.
* When Joe & Alondra enter the small pipe that leads to Joe's fortress.
**Joe: "This way! I'm pretty sure you would fit in nicely." 
**Alondra: "Ugh! This pipe's too small for us!" 
**Joe: "Why did I even build this pipe?"
**Also, later in the movie... 
**Marco: "Agh! This pipe's too small for me!" 
**Pepe: "Why did they even build that pipe?"
**Even more humorous when you consider that Marco & Pepe basically just invalidated the Fridge Logic behind said pipe; presumably, if there was a practical purpose to it, it would be to dispose of intruders who are way too close to discovering/entering Joe's fortress- yet as Marco & Pepe clearly demonstrate, it's comically ineffective at even that. 
*Anything to do with Pohlino and his ice cream related puns.
*During one of Marco's flashbacks in which he goes to Camp Austin, he and his friends get scared by a "bear" who turns out to be Fabi's older brother. It was Marco's idea after all, as he ordered the bear costume from "the cash cows at the Oriental Trading company" designed for him. Marco speeds up a yacht he bought at a local shop with his cousins and crash themselves onto a log. And lastly, there's a great bit of Black Comedy to mourn for:
**Marco: "Hey! I wanna climb, too! Give me a stick!"
**Pepe: "Um, Marco, I don't think you can hit that tree with a stick. It's kind of a stupid idea when you think about it!"
**[Marco starts climbing up the tree] 
**Pepe: "Boy, I hope he doesn't fall down to his death."
**Marco: "Unhand me, you fiend! Give me a... AAAAAAAAAAGHH!"
**Kevin: "Oh, how dreadful."
**Soon after Marco falls down the tree, he gets covered in birdseed, attracting many crows who take him to a nearby grave that says "R.I.P Marco Polo". His reaction?
**Marco: [deadpan] "Oh, sure. They had to put my European cousin's name on that grave."
*"I AM THE DUMPLING KING! HAHAHA!"
* And then Isa comments about Marco's daydreaming routine to calm down the other scared girls, which is both funny and cute:
** Isabella: "Are you sure? You're more of the king of daydreaming."
** Marco: "Well yes, but... I'm still the dumpling king."
* The whole party scene. Even funnier when you realize that Marco's planned "huge party" isn't really that huge, since it all takes place inside his modest house and it only took three hours before the party got crashed, which leaves us this reaction from Marco himself and this gem:
** Marco: "What? The party's over now?! How could me..." [guests leave in embarrassment] "Pepe, we can't let these special guests leave!"
** Pepe: "I'm sorry, okay? The party's been crashed, what do you expect? Let's just pray to God everything would be fine, that's all I can say."
** Marco: "But Pepe, it's been three years before this happened. Three YEARS!"
** Pepe: "Yeah, that's half of what you spent for this huge party, sir. Besides, it was just three hours!"
** Marco: "Oh, great! Now what am I gonna do? This whole birthday party got ruined because of me, bleh bleh bleh, and now what?
** [As he watches Joaquin make a puppy balloon, Emiliano attempts making the same replica but his balloon deflates and flies towards Marco]
** Marco: [sighs heavily] "Oh, what's this? Joaquin! I said no time for fun and games! Oh wait... actually, there is time for fun and games. You two can still play, guys. I don't mind."
** Joaquin & Emiliano: "YAY!"
* And the pillow fight that took place before this happened, which consists of the kiddos messing around Isabella's room with a snippet of Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" while Marco and Isa give the perfect reaction:
** Isa: "Oh my gosh! What is going on here?"
** Marco: "Um... I don't know. They're just kids. You know what they do. They like hitting each other with pillows!" {gets hit by a pillow] "Ow, my back!"
*Marco's shy attempts at being a clown. Given his intellectual genius track record and dry sense of humor, he makes the kids cry instead, begging them to plead for him and pray that Bom Bin would come back. He eventually does, and so did Marco's parents as Mario & Luigi. He tries to imitate them with Pepe. In particular, Marco's disguise as a clown is utterly ridiculous.
**Pepe: "Wow. You both look fantastic! Wish I could have a better mustache." 
*Joaquin & Emiliano speaking gibberish, especially on their personalized walkie-talkies which Marco handed over. The directors and their voice actor, Pierre Coffin, say it's a mix of Spanish, French, and other Latin languages known as "Joaquinese".
*What does Emiliano do when a group of mad scientists approach him with guns? Simple. He chews a pack of bubble gum, blows it up like a balloon, and sends the whole lab flying along with it!
*"You've got to be kidding me..."
*Besides Joaquin & Emiliano, Derek & Brian deliver some of the film's funniest moments, especially whenever they're around Joaquin & Emiliano. The banter between the four is hilarious to watch, as it consists of pure Looney Tunes slapstick mixed with situational comedy. One great example of this is when Joaquin & Emiliano take the wedding cake that Brian wanted so bad, he had to hide himself under the tablecloth and attach it... with a feather he plucked from a nearby rooster (presumably "The Bird That Won't Shut Up").
*The Field Day scene is packed with lots of hilarious jokes. Among these is the one where Josue calls Pepe the "Donut Lord" after saying, "Oh boy, I wish I could eat that one last donut by myself." And then there's "The Bird That Won't Shut Up", a rooster who crows every night and sleeps every day, unless when Marco and his friends make a party (which always occurs). 
*Early on in the movie, there's a game during Field Day where you have to knock over several ducks, including the "Big Duck", with marble guns. The reward is literally a yellow plush duck. After 3 tries, Marco hits the duck... but the vendor decides to get smart-alecky and invoke Exact Words, saying that he didn't "roast" the Big Duck. What does Marco plan to do? He proceeds to bring out his More Dakka gun to blast the stand. The entire stand is obliterated... except for the Big Duck. The vendor stares at the wreckage, and Big Duck disintegrates. Marco's reaction? "Get rooooo-oasted!"
**Particularly hilarious is watching how blithely the carny taunts Marco: "Besides, you're never getting that duck. You heard me and I'm gonna say it twice, you don't get the ugly duckling, frowny freak! HAHA!"
**Even funnier is when Marco says that line, the rooster Pepe calls "The Bird That Won't Shut Up" gets his feathers roasted by the sun!
*The costumes Marco and his friends had to wear for the Nativity scene. Isabella's costume is just a golden star with her face, Kevin plays as the donkey, Marlene & Aileene are disguised as lambs, Joaquin & Emiliano serve as Gabriel's little angels, and a camel consists of not three, but eleven kids. Apparently, Marco & Pepe are only two wise men since Marco claims that "Gabriel" hadn't appointed a third one. 
**Seconds later, one of the kids whose name is Gabriel, arrives at the stage door as his angel counterpart, right after Marco asks Pepe about the missing angel. 
*During the Nativity scene, you can hear the tune of "Amazing Grace" playing in the background while Marco's friends sing "Silent Night". Marco begs Josue to change the tune, only for his friends to Reverse The Song instead. Afterwards, they attempt to break a colorful piñata that falls on Emiliano... who sadly doesn't grab the candy inside, except for his lollipop. 
*Guess the answer to the hidden phrase in Wheel Of Fortune? "DON'T MESS UP WITH THAT MEGA GUN." Marco attempts to hinder this statement from a hesitant Pepe by restating his opinion about their favorite quiz show. Seconds later, we cue to Joe playing with it.
*There's just something about Joe screwing around with the Mega Gun and the idiotic one-liners he shouts while shrinking his whole fortress.
*Five words: "AH! SHAME ON YOU, FISH!" (after Joe pressures on his goldfish to get out of her bowl, to which she wags her tail in annoyance towards Joe).
**And the scene before that, in which Alondra rebukes Joe, who gives a particularly epic Oh Crap! face, for burning her childhood ragdoll as one might expect.
***Joe: "Alondra, what else can this do?" [sees Alondra's ragdoll and burns it] "HA! Take that!"
***Alondra: "Joe, did you just burn my precious ragdoll? You're gonna have to buy me a new one!"
***Joe: "Oh, c'mon! I'm not playing with it!"
***Alondra: "I'm gonna play with you right now." [beats Joe with a broom offscreen] "Take that! And that, Joe. THAT!" 
*Before Marco arrives to his enemy's fortress, Joe replaces the Texas flag with the state's "Come And Take It" flag used during its revolution days. 
*You can easily see a Freeze-Frame Bonus written in graffiti that shows "Keep Out, No One Lives Here" on the top frame of Joe's entrance. 
*The first time Marco tries to infiltrate Joe's lair, it doesn't go very well. He keeps on being taken out by Joe's various traps and weapons, and all the while, Joe is just playing with the TV remote control he uses to control them, not even taking things remotely seriously. At one point, Marco gets smashed by a piano, idiotically saying "I did it!" for some reason, and then gets crushed once again with Joe's old television.
*Joe's less than impressive weapons other than the Mega Gun he stole: the Fish Squirter, the Rainbow Confetti Gun, and the Perfumator.
*The entire scene where Aileene infiltrates Marco's hideout, despite his warning policy.
**Marco: "Okay, so this is where the magic happens. Guess I'm gonna give you a cup of coffee."
**Aileene: [puzzled] "And what does coffee have to do with magic?"
**Marco: "Good question... glad you asked that. Once you get a sip of this drink, just imagine this whole planet in my hands. All you need to do is sit quietly and relax, because in less than one minute and thirty seconds, the sun will eventually come out, and-" [Beat] "How did you find my hideout?!"
**Aileene: "You took me here, and we crossed the line twice. See?"
**Marco: "Oh, right. I just gave you that cup of coffee to make you like me."
**Aileene: "And you think coffee would make you even more attractive?"
*Followed by this part, when Aileene notices a spider crawling above Marco's head... their Mood Whiplash makes this scene even funnier.
**Marco: [sheepishly] "Perhaps a bit energetic? Hehe..."
**Aileene: [slaps Marco in the cheek] "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, Marco. Can I help you?"
**Marco: "It's okay... I've been used to this pain for years."
* Aileene's been kidnapped enough to be completely familiar with all of Marco's traps. Well, the "beetle" is new.
** Marco: "Uh... what else can I do? Oh, what's this... what the? A beetle? That's new here."
** Aileene: "It's actually my pet."
** Marco: "Oh wow, I never knew that. Not even Mr. Beetle can save us from such booby traps!"
** [Pepe and Kevin bring up Marlene's Volkswagen Beetle to the tune of "Here Comes The Sun" by The Beatles]
** Aileene: "The sun is coming..."
** Marco: "Oh yes, the sun! Perfect cause... THE SUN IS COMING UP?! Nooooooooooo!"
* The Ham-To-Ham Combat between Marco & Joe at the middle of the film:
** Marco: "In case you haven't seen it yet, you've been trapped right inside my lair."
**Joe: "You can't trap someone unless the audience wants you to do so."
**Marco: "Oh, really? The most brilliant and talented genius mastermind of espionage says that good has the sole right to overcome the bad guy."
**Joe: "And what happens if you're the bad guy instead?"
**Marco: "I'm the good guy. Besides, this is my own movie, right kid?"
**Joe: "Kid? You're calling me a kid? Stop breaking the fourth wall, kid!"
**[left wall breaks down, exposing Joe's fortress]
**Joe: "I'm pretty sure your movie's gonna end right now!"
**Marco: "Maybe I've got an extended runtime!" 
**Joe: "I think your spy license is about to expire!"
**Marco: "Guaranteed!"
**Joe: "You won't get any scholarships for college!"
**Marco: "Spies do not go to school anymore, and neither do bad boys."
**Aileene: "Guys, pretty please. Can we go home now?"
*Instead of taking over the entire planet, Marco mistakenly produces an electrical shortage crisis. Cue to a desperate group of soccer fans from different countries around the world groaning near the end of the game, two tweens crying after fighting for a cell phone, an inept gamer saying "Yeah! I win this round!" when the screen displays "GAME OVER" before shutting down, and two bumbling tycoons to get soaked by petroleum at a defunct oil rig near Spindletop, Texas.
*When Marco enters upon the Texas State Capitol as George Thorogood's "Bad To The Bone" is playing... he orders Pepe to cut the music... and the Japanese version of "Butterfly" starts playing! 
*Marco gets booed by the audience, expecting praise from them, and what's his response?
**Marco: "Boo? Yeah, come on you people! Let's play this game! BOOOOOOOO!" 
*The "No Thank You" sign. 
**One of the greatest ironies in the film comes when the sign is present on one side of the Texas State Capitol, there's another sign in contrast saying "Yes You're Welcome" and Marco doesn't seem to understand how government works, despite him saying that he excels at history.
**It serves as the perfect example of how to do political campaigns in a wrong manner, especially since there is only one Marco supposedly running for mayor, not governor, at the Texas State Capitol. Cue a series of interviews with ABC, NBC, Univision, Telemundo, CBS, and the list goes on.
**Marco: "For the last time, I AM not running for mayor this Friday!" 
*Marco beginning a dramatic speech, only for it to get interrupted after the museum behind him blows up.
**Marco: "Let's just put the past times behind us, and look unto the future! THE FUTURE-"[museum explodes, and debris begins raining around Marco] "Aah! Oh no, I'm getting so scared right now! Quick, call the firefighters! Send me to the hospital! Save yourselves!"
*When Marco meets with the "Godfather" baby to ask him about funding for his plan to use the Mega Gun, only for him to realize that he doesn't actually have the Mega Gun, this happens:
**Baby: "You don't have the Mega Gun? And you still have the audacity to ask me for student loans?"
**Marco: "Apparently..."
*Marco's plan to become the world's greatest spy, albeit well-executed, is Actually Pretty Funny when you think about it. "First, I would give myself a five-minute headstart. Next, I would steal the Mega Gun. Third, I would use that Mega Gun for myself. Then, I'll exchange it for money. And finally..." [looks at his television, which plays a cartoon about him going mad] "Become a madman?"
**Plus there's a Funny Background Event in which Marco owns about 20 smaller television sets, and all of them display the same cartoon. "More than your typical family home, right?"
**The fact that Marco later loses his bet to a BABY is the more laughably absurd when you think about it, since the Godfather baby refused to help Marco fund his plans to become a licensed spy.
*"I'm in a heated existential debate right now... with my dead-eyed plastic yellow duck!"
*The childish way Joe says, "Oh, look who's here. Little James Bond!" during Marco's backstory.
*The existential crisis Marco had to face after supposedly having defeated Joe is a very sad scene, but there is one heck of a gem in which Marco discusses about being Marcoman instead of "the world's greatest spy" with Pepe:
**Pepe: "M? What does the "M" stand for? Marco, of course."
**Marco: "M is for Marcoman. It's the only letter I could trademark." 
**Pepe: "And who's Marcoman?"
**Marco: "Marcoman is my hero. You know, I've always wanted to be a superhero like Spider-Man or perhaps Batman, or anything else of those heroes. But in real life, there is no such thing as a superhero. So I chose to be a spy, no less. A superspy."
**Pepe: "And I'm your older sidekick, right?"
**Marco: "Yes, but I'm Marcoman."
**Coincidentally, this leads to a Real Life Moment having to do with the movie's troubled production, in which one of the first drafts for the film was to make Marco a designated type of superhero. This, of course, would later be covered in the final installment of the Marco series.
*And shortly after, Marco pretends to be Marcoman for a while as he confronts his own Shoulder Angel & Shoulder Devil.
**Marco: "Now, my fellow friends, comes the Marcoman! Thrust! Parry! Thrust again! Ready to fly... and here we go. FLY!"
**Shoulder Devil: "You're gonna die!" *Appears*
**Shoulder Angel: "Hey, that's not cool." *Appears* "Don't listen to that guy, he's the devil!" 
**Shoulder Devil: "Devil who?"
**Shoulder Angel: "You are! Now stop playing with fire; I've got a training session to do right now..." [looks at Marco] "Buddy, how can I help you?"
**Marco: [deadpan] "I just wanna fly. To see if Marcoman is what he is. Thanks for helping me, but I'm feeling tired right now."
**Shoulder Angel: "Anytime, pal. Anytime."
**Shoulder Devil: "Ah, don't believe him! He's trying to make you feel good! Besides, I've got a little cheery song for you. 'I believe I can't fly, I believe I can fall to my dea-"
**Shoulder Angel: [talking to Shoulder Devil] "Stop! You're making him weary! You know what Jesus did? He refused to make deals with you. That's why Marco is on my side. He deserves something better than ashes at the funeral!"
**Marco: "Thanks again, Shoulder Angel, but I can do this myself. Now, my friends, BEGONE. Just... begone, please. I don't wanna go to the abyss anymore."
**Shoulder Devil: "Okay, I'm outta here!" *Poofs* 
*Pepe's perfect girly scream right after Marco says "Maybe I don't want to be the greatest spy anymore!"
**Pepe: [thunderstruck] "Who ARE you?"
**Marco: "I'm... I'm just your brother." 
*This exchange during Marco & Pepe's "break up scene" that follows:
**Pepe: "Well, good luck on your date tonight!"
**Marco: "Yes! Will do!"
**Pepe: "That doesn't even make any sense!"
**Marco: "I know! I'm just playing with you right now!"
*The scene before that in which Pepe gives off a disgusted expression when he finds a thong accidentally misplaced on his suitcase, and later having a startled one when he finds Isabella's pink shirt.
**Pepe: [talking to Marco] "I'm pretty sure your girlfriend won't fit inside this pink shirt."
**Marco: [startled, as he holds the shirt] "How do you know I have a girlfriend?"
**Pepe: "That's from our sister, you know."
*"I'm not allowed to insult any guests. I like to invite women with a little champagne." Oh, Marco, what a gentleman he is.
*During Marco's first attempt at a "date night" with Aileene, she accidentally reverts him back to normal. Marco's reaction?
**Marco: "Oh! Don't see me yet!" [accidentally switches to Pepe] "Oh hello, I just wanted to see you today." [keeps fiddling with his disguise watch as Kevin, and finally changes... to Aileene] "Whoa. We seem like each other, don't you think?" 
*"BEHOLD... THE BLACK VELCRO!" Complete with a fanfare reeking with Mundane Made Awesome and a setup that includes pulling off said cape from his nipples and polishing his head. Seconds later... "OW. my giant egg-shaped head!" 
*Joe & Alondra's rather poor attempt to enter the wedding ceremony.
**Joe: "What?! How? It's impossible! We can't get in this-" 
**Alondra: [whispering] "Shut up!" 
**Joe: [muttering to himself] "If only Marco could ever beat me." 
**Alondra: "Shut up, please!" 
**Joe: "Okay, fine. Whispering makes me guilty. Hey, Alondra, what should we do now?"
**Alondra: "Aha! I know... how about if we get the Mega Gun back, hold it sideways, and just go all-" 
**Joe: "Alondra, that's it! Bingo!" 
**Alondra: "Eureka!" 
**Joe: [shows Alondra the Joker card] "Uno! Oh wait, that's not helping you win. Enough games, to the Joemobile!"
**Da-da-da-da! Marco sees this and remarks, "He's got his own Marcomobile, too?" 
*There's a rather subtle joke in which Pastor Ernesto, formerly known for his preaching style and greed, owns a motorcycle for himself and presents it as a wedding gift. Marco grabs the motorcycle in front of everyone at the wedding, who seem to wonder what Ernesto's been up to all these years for the wedding ceremony. The same can be said for Marco's ambition as the "world's greatest spy".
**Ernesto: "Hey, he just took my motorcycle!" [Everyone looks at him shockingly] "Oops."
*The car chase scene. Marco and his buddies go after Joe & Alondra, and vice versa without knowing this, as they get guided by traffic signal lights. When the lights flash red, Marco and his friends wait for the lights to turn green. Once they turn green, the lights immediately revert back to red before Joe & Alondra's turn. The two just sweep past them, and the sign that says, "Don't Enter The Flea Market (Unless If You're A Good US Citizen)".
**Take a look at the billboard in the background:
**"ALL CRAZY TEEN DRIVERS WILL BE FINED BY THE REPUBLIC OF TEXAS"
**
*The 30-minute long commercial having to do with action figures and plush versions of Marco himself, followed by the "BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED" disclaimer at the end and the incredibly lackluster "Available at all flea markets and shops in the big city area."
**Marco: "Wow, Pepe, I'm famous! See? Is all this merchandise even worth a cent? I hadn't even licensed them for this sole purpose!"
*The reference to The Godfather with Marco finding the makeover doll head in his bed and freaking out. That same doll is the one Marco gave to Cristal during the Nativity scene, in which the latter drops it down to Marco's shock.
*Marco smacks down his cake after everyone chants the following: "ONE. TWO. THREE. FOUR. FIVE... HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARCO! GOTTA FEEL BETTER, EAT SOME CAKE, WE STILL LIKE YOU! UNTIL THE YEAR 3000!"
**Notice how many candles Kevin put on Marco's ice cream cake.
**And speaking of Kevin, his reaction with Pepe is priceless enough that he had to check the fridge for another ice cream cake that's available. Said ice cream cake got eaten by Brian, and Kevin says "Hey, anyone got some pops?" However, Marco claims there are none but two that Joaquin & Emiliano had already taken. Kevin chooses to play it safe and gives himself a Pie In The Face instead. Sounds much like Fridge Logic? Yes, literally. 
*Crazy Maniac. ALL. OF. THAT.
**The funny thing is that it serves as the film's own equivalent to "Goofy Goober Rock" in which Marco, portrayed humorously as the late Michael Jackson, performs the moonwalk dance in reverse to the tune of "Smooth Criminal". There's also Pepe, voiced by Will Smith, who does the Carlton dance from The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air. Having realized that Marco appointed Josue as the DJ composer, the "Theme Song Guy" pops out of nowhere and does a rap battle with him! 
*The Lampshade Hanging of Joe & Alondra's Offscreen Teleportation:
**Marco: "Oh no! How can this be! How did you come here before us?"
**Alondra: [Beat] Um... how did we, Joe? Any idea?"
**Joe: "Well, if you ask me..." [pulls down the diagram from the montage] "This doesn't make any sense! Whose idea is this?"
**Alondra: [deadpan] "You did this."
*Joe & Alondra's backstory, albeit somewhat sad due to the fact that both of their parents had never celebrated their birthdays, can also get pretty funny at times.
**Joe: "They never celebrated our birthdays. Sometimes, they would make us go outside in the rain. There was no ice cream, no real friends, no gifts, not enough toys to play with, and of course no birthday cake. And guess what? Santa wasn't even there to rescue us! What a shame."
**And then Pepe's reaction to what Joe said:
**Pepe: "Well, I guess you've been so naughty all these years."
*Alondra decides it's time for Marco and Pepe to die horribly, so she tosses the Mega Gun to a giddy Joe. Upon pressing start, he encounters Marco's Shoulder Angel and Shoulder Devil, and start arguing with each other on whether or not to kill both Marco & Pepe.
**Shoulder Angel: "Hey, fella. Don't kill them, or else you would die. I assure you, you've got a reward!" *Appears*
**Joe: "Who the heck are you?"
**Shoulder Devil: *Appears, as he imitates Joe* "Look, he's the good guy. I'm the bad guy. You're goin' down with me if you obey her. All you need to do is to put aside that Pium-Pium thing of yours and use those fists of vengeance! Get some revenge! C'mon, give it a shot."[Marco looks at Shoulder Devil in unbelief]
**Shoulder Angel: "Crime doesn't pay. You shall not commit murder. It's one of the Ten Commandments."
**Joe: [talking to Shoulder Angel] "Would you just go ahead and pick up that gun for me?"
**Shoulder Angel: "Oh, sorry. I can't do that, sir. Angels don't hold up guns for storage, do they?"
**Joe: "Oh." [starts crying]
**All the while Joe's been talking and later crying, for Alondra and Pepe it seems as if Joe were talking to thin air. Alondra points in disbelief, while the other two shrug with bewildered expressions on their faces. Marco acknowledges this since he knew Joe was talking with his own Shoulder Angel and Shoulder Devil.
*Leading to Alondra's Breaking Speech as she lashes out a bunch of insults at Joe so harsh and vicious that even Marco's shoulder devil is appalled by them.
**Alondra: "Joe, I told you to do one simple task and you did not listen to me! It's like if I'm speaking to your apparition!"
**Shoulder Angel: "Whoa, now. You cannot judge an angel by its wings!"
**Joe: "Hey, angel. She's not talking to you, she's talking to me! She's killing me right now!"
**Alondra: "Who? Nobody's asking me to insult someone like you!"
**Shoulder Devil: [talking to Joe] "C'mon, she's not gonna harm you much. She's just a girl!"
**Alondra: [completely deadpan, as she gives a Death Glare at Shoulder Devil] "I'm a woman, alright."
**Shoulder Devil: "Ouch!" [thinking about how Alondra just saw him, literally] "Okay, that's it! She's going down!"
**Shoulder Angel: "Remember, guys. From above, the wicked shall get their reward! I'm going home now, bye bye!" *Poofs*
**Shoulder Devil: "You... wait, I'm not into this abyss anymore! So long, Alondra!" *Poofs*
**Alondra: "Who invited them here?"
*Kevin beating up Joe's bullies to the tune of Britney Spears, with karate chop action. Hit me baby, one more time!
*Anytime Marco announces what he's doing, especially this part:
**Marco: "LIGHTS. ENGINES. WINGS. Computer code activate! HAND ME THE HAND..." [Kevin hands Marco a plastic hand arm] "Thank you. POSITIONING. WELDING. FLYING. TESTING... 123... TESTING. Encrypto code! LIGHTS! CAMERA! AND..."
**Pohlino: "ICE CREAM TIME!" [Beat] "Um... guys, who wants some ice cream? Anyone who's listening?"
**Bradley: "I'm listening!" [everyone gives a glance at him, while Pepe hits him with a pan] "Okay, still listening!"
*This exchange between Marco & Melissa, which counts as Heartwarming.
**Marco: "Pepe! Kevin! Assemble the kiddos, cause we're gonna fly back-" [opens back door] "Oh, sorry kids. Are you okay?"
**Melissa: "Yeah, we're okay right now."
**Marco: "Oh okay... heh heh... sorry to interrupt." [closes door]
*What does Marco use to defeat Joe at his escape pod? A fire extinguisher, instead of the Mega Gun.
*"Uh oh... this wasn't as good as I thought" (the moment Joe knew he screwed up in getting revenge on Marco and his friends).