Keep and Leave Behind

"Keep and Leave Behind" is a [SEASON NUMBER] thread started on [IRL DATE] and finished on [IRL DATE].
==Summary==
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==Full Text==
The room fell far quieter with the departure of Milae and Akkey – though they were intent on discussing the situation at hand, and the next steps the group needed to take, he could feel the room and it’s occupants overwhelming Yun. It was a breath of relief in it’s own right that they were graced with a temporary silence.
Letting the moment carry for just a while longer, Dario stood from his chair and pushed it back against a wall. Yun had still not moved from where he sat, his head resting against his folded arms. The stag took to a knee and leaned close to Yun, with his head just a few inches away from the young man’s.
“Hey… Yun, buddy… tell me what you’re thinking.” Dario spoke in almost a whisper now, careful not to direct the conversation to anything too pointed. Unsure of what was going through his head, the deer refrained from any physical contact until he could determine it safe to do so without startling him. “I wanted to just hear what you’re feeling. I know that was a lot to take in, and you need some time to understand it all.”
There was a long minute of silence, and then the young man lifted his chin slightly, finally showing the upper half of his face. His brow was still furrowed, and Dario could see that his lower eyelids were already wet and quivering. 
“I don’t know,” he whispered hoarsely, far more truthfully this time.
The sight ripped into Dario’s chest – seeing Yun in this vulnerable state heightened the stag’s need to do something… to do anything to make things better, even if it was an impossibility.
“Oh, Yun…” Dario pulled his chair back and aligned it directly next to Yun’s, each edge meeting to form a makeshift bench. He sat and pulled Yun into his chest, embracing him tightly and rubbing his back gently. “Shh, you’re okay, you’re safe… don’t feel like you need to put on a brave face with me. I’m right here, I’ve got you.” The deer’s voice was reminiscent of his own mother’s; a soothing calm to combat the raging war in Yun’s head.
Dario continued to hold Yun, regardless of the amount of time that would pass until he felt comfortable in speaking further. It was a necessity for the man to process the gravity of the information he was just given.
“Yun, hey…” Dario lifted the young man’s chin to meet his eyes, seeing that he was still not composed in the slightest. His voice was a bit higher than normal, purposefully done to lighten Yun’s spirits. “Tell me something. Anything. It can be what you’re feeling, something that’s been on your mind, something incredibly mundane… anything. I want to know about it.”
Dario embraced a mostly-limp Yun at first, but as the minutes passed, his hands lifted and found Dario’s arms and then his middle and then his back, and he pulled up one leg after the other, fumbling and shaky, and leaned his knees into Dario’s lap. His face was reddened, and there were a few tears that had already leaked, but nothing astounding. Merely the effects of initial shock and fright manifesting into reality, clashing with the uncomfortable feelings of irritation at both Akkey and Milae and a frankly horrifying primordial urge that he could only name as the beat of survival itself surging through his blood. A wordless inner scream to run and never stop running. It made him so tired.
A hand lifted his chin and he looked bleakly up at Dario, sniffing wetly as his mind slowly started working again, looking to fix on the distraction the deer was trying to provide. He swallowed, and it took him a few attempts to speak.
“I…I saw J last week,” he whispered, remembering the Bookkeeper’s interaction with Dario. He wasn’t even sure why it came to mind, but he took it and clung to it like driftwood.
It took Dario a moment to realize who Yun had referenced; his own interaction with J had been only months ago, but felt like a lifetime in contrast to recent history. He was thrilled to have received any response at all from the young man, especially one that he could relate to.
“That’s great, bud! I saw J myself, a while back… he is very kind.” The stag knew that reflecting on his meeting with J would also require an understanding of one of the worst days of his life, but for the sake of Yun, he would do anything. He continued to rub his back, his voice returning to a normal conversational tone and cadence. “How did that go?”
Yun considered it, like he genuinely wasn’t sure if it had been good or bad. “I think it was okay.” He used the actual resonance of his voice this time, still a bit scratchy, but stronger and clearer. “I got to tell him that I’m working on the hard stuff for him ‘n Juro, ‘n that I love him…”
Feeling the atmosphere shift to a more positive energy, Dario kissed the top of Yun’s head before shifting his weight to allow him to sit beside the deer once more.
“Yun… that’s great. I’m sure that meant a lot for him to hear it.” He took one of Yun’s hands in his own, placing the man’s palm flat against one hand and using his fingers on the opposite to tap the top of Yun’s in a repetitive motion. “I’ve noticed how much you care about people, even those you’ve just met. I sometimes find myself thinking of how I can be more like you. I’ve talked to Milae a lot lately, about you, and what you’ve been going through… and you are stronger than you know.”
Hearing a semblance of strength return to the young man gave Dario the signal that he might be able to push the conversation a little bit.
“…even with all of our strength, we sometimes need to let ourselves ask for help. I’ve had to learn that the hard way for myself, and that is why Milae is someone I hold so close to my heart. He’s pulled me from some of the worst moments of my life, when I thought everything was lost, and made me better for it. A few weeks ago, I had to confess something to him that I had been holding onto for a long time… and though it was tough, he stuck with me and gave me a perspective that I needed to see from another view.”
He lowered Yun’s hand, placing one of his own on the timeline traverser’s shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze.
“I’m thankful to know you, and I am thankful to be able to help you in any way that I can. If you just need someone to confide in, I will always be here for you. If you need someone to fight with you, I will do whatever it takes… just know that.”
He looked away to the door, expecting Akkey and Milae to have returned around this moment, but relished the idea that he had at least a few more moments with Yun.
“So, let’s talk about right now. I know it’s a lot, and if you need time to think about it, I understand… but I want to know, what is it that is upsetting you most?”
Yun pushed his face further into Dario’s shoulder, letting his eyes rest and unfocus as he thought. 
“That I don’t wanna do this,” he eventually mumbled. He slid his glasses off with both hands and let them rest on the table. “I’m…mad that I’m upset. That I want to be somewhere else. I don’t want to feel that. Everyone’s counting on me and it makes me feel like I can’t do it.” He scrubbed his face. “I hate it.”
Dario rubbed a hand up and down Yun’s arm, wishing he could take away his hurt and anger and internalize it until the young man felt nothing but contentment. Though it was hard to hear, the stag was glad to hear him vocalize his frustrations.
“I’m sure you do, and you have every right to. It’s an immense amount of pressure to put on anyone. It’s definitely not fair, but with everyone counting on you… actually, I think it’s more than that. They believe in you, Yun. They see how far you have come, and how strong you are. It’s normal to want to get away from that responsibility, because often times we can’t see what other see in ourselves.”
He pulled himself away from Yun, allowing his small frame to be in his complete view. Dario used his thumb to wipe away the remaining tears that clung to Yun’s eyelids.
“Something you are not in this specific situation is arrogant, and that’s a good thing. Not thinking you can do this means that you aren’t going into anything overconfident… but we also don’t want you doubting yourself every step of the way.” Dario pushed his chair out and stood, grabbing one of Yun’s hands and pulling him from his seat as well. Once they both stood opposite of one another, the stag playfully squeezed both of Yun’s arms, giving him a much more genuine smile than he could muster before. “I want to do something. Look at me, and tell me one thing that you like about me, or that you think I’m good at. I promise this isn’t for my ego.”
Looking Dario up and down, Yun felt his heart, sluggish with defeat, begin to lift slightly from the bottom of his stomach. The first words that fell from his mouth were, “You’re tall.” A tiny, apologetic smile lifted the corner of his mouth; he felt it needed further explanation than a surface observation. “And you use that to be nice.”
If not for the fact that he was trying to be a support for Yun in the moment, that last sentence would have emotionally smashed Dario into a million pieces. He fought with every bit of energy to keep his face from glowing a deep shade of red, failing miserably in the process.
“I- oh Gods, Yun, you are too sweet.” Dario laughed, covering his face for a few seconds while he regained his composure. “I’m sorry, I’m doing a really bad job at this. Okay. Alright.”
He shook out his hands and pranced in place a bit before focusing his attention entirely back to Yun.
“My turn. Yun… I watched you face one of the most terrifying, skilled beings I have ever come in contact with in my life not too long ago. I won’t lie to you, I was so scared when Milae told me you would be sparring Nala. I spent the entire morning thinking about how I was not good enough with my magick to fix what I though she was going to do to you… but even when you took some heavy hits, and the entire fight seemed against you in every way possible, you bounced back and proved everyone wrong. You have an internal drive and a self-preservation that I have never seen in anyone before, and I felt so proud of you that day…”
He kept his focus on the big, beautiful hazel eyes that looked back to him.
“…and I’m even more proud of you today, for being able to know when it’s okay to let yourself fall apart, and even then, still stand here on your own two feet. You could have easily let yourself collapse and have the world beat you down, but you didn’t.”
Dario hadn’t realized how quickly his body moved as he finished his thought, swooping down to take a knee and pull Yun in for an even tighter embrace. He held onto him with both arms surrounding the young man, hoping to never need to let go.
“You have all the power to do what you need to do. Not for anyone else, but for yourself… and if you ever feel like you’ve fallen short and you need a hand to pull you back up…”
The stag pulled back a bit, bring his face in front of Yun’s. There were tears beginning to form in Dario’s eyes as he fought to finish his sentence, but the grin on his face assured Yun that there was no sadness to be found there.
“…if you ever need a hand to pull you back up, I will never be too far away.” He placed a hand softly onto Yun’s chest, directly over his heart. “I promise.”
Not for anyone else, but for yourself.
Something about Dario’s passion, his focus on Yun’s face, like he was looking right into his soul, broke Yun out of his helpless haze. His eyes cleared. The pain in his heart re-started with a thump, along with all the love and fear and hope and despair that had been building up over the month. It felt awful and good at the same time. It was so much better than being numb.
Tattooed fingers fumbled over burned ones, and at first he only held it, but then he lifted Dario’s hand to push his cheek into his palm, grimacing with uncontrollable emotion, and hot tears quickly began spilling and cooling over Dario’s skin. 
“Thank you,” he mouthed around a soft breath, unable to get his throat to work properly. 
“No… thank you, Yun.” Dario took one of Yun’s hands himself and raised it to his lips, giving it a light kiss. “Before I met you, I was in a dark place… well, in a sense, there are still bits of dark that linger and keep me awake at night… but I have felt a connection to you. I knew that we were meant to help each other.”
He stood once more, towering over Yun in a comforting way.
“I have been searching to find what purpose I serve to those around me, and to the greater Rebellion as a whole. Being able to help as a healer here has been an honor, but I felt it to be temporary. It wasn’t until you…” He cupped Yun’s chin again, allowing their eyes to meet. “…that I truly knew what I should be doing. Becoming your friend has been one of the biggest joys I have ever known, and beyond just me, you mean the world to Milae as well. I can’t tell you how thankful I am to you for giving him the last few weeks.”
Dario motioned for the two to sit once again, pulling their chairs against one another like before.
“I have not been through what you are going through, but I can tell you this much. You simply just being here has enriched my life in way I don’t think I can properly explain. Hel, I’m not even sure I understand most of it myself… but I think it is because of the soul you share with Milae. You two came into my life when I needed it most, and if anyone should be thanking anyone, it is myself to you.”
Now bashful and crying, Yun trailed close after Dario, sat and tucked his legs into him once more, curling into a tangle of limbs by the half-breed’s side. His voice was muffled as he tried not to blubber. 
“I just want everything to be okay.” His knees pulled in tightly to his chest. “I like helping…I like helping you. But I want to not need to. I don’t want things to keep getting worse. I want them to get better.”
It was the words he had kept inside of his own head for years that Yun managed to speak into existence; the similarities between the half-breed and his small friend were many, though unsurprising.
“I think something that I had to learn the hard way when I was about your age was the concept of most things being out of our control.” Dario began tapping his fingers together, feeling a slight sting as each healing digit made impact with another. “Whether things get better or worse in the grand scheme of life can’t be dictated by us… but the things we can control, whether it’s our relationships, our perspectives, our beliefs, our actions… we have to be mindful of how the small changes we make in those can persuade a shift of the big picture things.”
Dario picked up Yun’s glasses that had been sitting on the table of the duration of their conversation and slid them onto his face, taking good care to place them level.
“Whether you want to help me, or if you feel a sort of obligation to… I’m grateful for it either way. And so long as we are both here, I promise to you that I will do anything and everything in my power to keep you safe and happy. That’s what friends are for, right?”
He placed a hand behind Yun’s head and pulled it forward, placing their foreheads together while he rubbed the back of the man’s head with his fingers.
“Ég elska þig, litli. I cannot wait to see the wonderful things this life still has in store for you.”
Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Yun shut his eyes and let Dario’s affection soak him head to toe, and for a moment, he got his wish. Everything was okay. 
The edge of a soft smile turned up his lips and he nuzzled Dario’s forehead. “Ég elska þig líka, dádýr.”
The affection from Yun caused Dario’s chest to tingle aggressively; his face red and burning with a beautiful, platonic love and admiration for his friend.
“I know you do, buddy.”
The stag gave their embrace a few more moments before taking to his feet and wandering around the table. The time along with Yun had done exactly what he had hoped, but he could not forget that Akkey and Milae would return soon. There was no way to know how their conversation was going, and how they would be once they were back.
“Yun, can you do me a big favor?”
The young man was already half-standing, hands resting on the table as he watched the half-breed hover. “Yeah, anything,” he said.
dario-the-deer
Dario took solace in the improved state of Yun; even if any bit of it was for show, the stag could tell that his friend felt much better in comparison to how their conversation had started.
“If you ever find yourself visiting that timeline again… the one with J… can you give him a hug for me?” Dario turned red at the request, trying not to fumble with his words. He couldn’t bring himself to even look at Yun as he asked. “I… I did not properly thank him before, when I saw him last, and I regret not having the chance to do so myself. It would mean a lot to me.”
foresight-botgd
“Of course I can. I mean, stuff was…weird last time.” Yun skirted around the memories of what felt like his own harsh words, his own extreme duress. “I want to make sure he’s o–”
He lost his breath for a moment, realization dawning. “I don’t…think I can…until Frigga’s gone,” he said, disappointedly slumping back down into his chair. “It’s too dangerous right now…”
dario-the-deer
Dario could feel the mood slipping backwards into it’s previous somber feeling, and without hesitation, he maneuvered quickly over behind Yun and crossed his arms across his torso from behind.
“Hey, hey now… I’ve got you.” The stag’s voice returned to it’s soft, near-whisper. “Let’s look at it this way – there is your motivator. Once we can put this all behind us, you can visit J, and it will be a thrilling story to tell.”
He let his head fall into the mop of hair on Yun’s head, thinking of any way to distract from the tension of the moment.
“Have I told you how much Milae has enjoyed mentoring you? I don’t know if he’s mentioned it to you… we both know how he can be when it comes to talking about his feelings… but I have not seen him so proud and invested in somebody in a long time. When it is just us two at night, when we are getting ready to go to sleep, he just talks about you. The things you have managed to accomplish, the progress you’ve made… it’s wonderful to hear.”
foresight-botgd
Yun flushed and hid his lower face in Dario’s forearms while he hugged them, his dark cheeks puffing up with the movement. “He does?” The thought made his chest swell, and his posture straightened a little.
dario-the-deer
The stag rubbed Yun’s shoulders for a second before returning to his meandering around the room.
“Oh, absolutely he does. It is one of the few times in recent months that I get the chance to see him wear that adorable smile of his.” He tried to perform his best impression of the goat’s smile, knowing it would be at least a bit entertaining for Yun. “I know that he seemed off earlier, and he should not have said what he did to you. The weight of the situation got to him, I think… it’s hard for him to see someone he cares about going through this, and let me tell you, he holds you in the highest regard.”
He took a seat opposite to Yun, absorbing every feature of the young man as he continued his thoughts.
“The night Milae gave up his power, I felt horrible. I thought it was my fault, and that if I had never been in his life, he would have had no reason to do it… and I guess on some level, I still feel that… but seeing your growth, and how well you have learned to harness it, makes me think that everything works out exactly as it should. He may not be able to traverse timelines as before, but you give him the chance to be a part of that world again, and to you I am eternally grateful for that opportunity.”
foresight-botgd
Yun grinned nervously. “Don’t ever let him know, but if he ever wanted it all back, and it was possible, I would do it in a heartbeat.” His thumbs moved over each other, not quite the nervous fidgeting from before, but still seeking some stimulation. 
“Whatever happens, I’m going to try to get everyone out of this. Not just me. I’m going to try to save everyone I can.” He looked steadily up at Dario, still a bit of a mess, but far more resolute. 
dario-the-deer
“I’m sure you would, bud.” Dario looked upon him with slight sympathy; he could never understand the strain that must have come with the amount of power Yun had, but he knew it to be exhausting from the look on the man’s face. “It isn’t just you in all of this… don’t forget, we are going to be by your side through everything, good and bad. Though, with your recent developments, I think you are going to look a lot cooler than the rest of us.” The stag followed with his usual playful wink. Any boost to Yun’s mental state was a win in his book.
foresight-botgd
With a shy smile, Yun ducked his chin and ran his fingers through the hair behind his ear, cheeks still incredibly warm. “It does look pretty cool, from what I’ve been told.” His fingers tugged at the mop that had been growing out over his ears for the past while. This is getting so long…
There was a soft knock at the door, followed by a slow creak, and Milae’s muzzle pushed through the gap, peering around the threshold at the two of them. He looked hesitant and quite worn out, and it seemed like Akkey was no longer with him. Yun and Milae locked eyes, but Milae pulled his attention to Dario before anything could be silently communicated. 
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
dario-the-deer
The return of Milae took longer than Dario had anticipated, but it was welcomed all the same. He could see the strain of the day weighing on the goat, and gave him a warm smile to indicate that things had gone as well as they could have in his absence.
“Things are… settling. Yun and I were just talking about you, actually.” Dario walked to his partner, planting a kiss on his cheek. “I see Akkey chose to stay back. How is she?”
foresight-botgd
“Worried, as expected. She is coming back later tonight to speak with Lila about this.”
“By herself?”
“No, I will be joining her.”
“I want to go, too.” Yun got to his feet, pushing the chair back. Milae watched him with some worry. There was a new look in the goat’s eye, something odd, and Yun was a bit discomforted by it, but he left it alone for now. 
“Are you up for it?” the goat asked.
“Yeah,” he said firmly.
“Are you sure–?”
“Milae.” Yun pushed his chair in with a clunk. “I have a lot more to handle in the near future than meetings with Lila. I can do it.” He squared his shoulders and straightened his head, looking right at the half-breed with a somber but reassuring half-smile. Milae seemed rather stunned at this new energy, and eyed Dario in playful suspicion. 
dario-the-deer
Dario could see Milae’s expression directed at him, and could do nothing more than just mouth ‘I’m sorry’ with a joking grin.
“I’m sure that will be fine. Yun, just remember to rest when you can.” The stag began to lift the bags near the door. “I’ll get these put away. We definitely won’t be able to get any work done today, but that’s alright. I’ll apologize for the lot of us tomorrow.”
Dario quickly returned from placing the bags in another room, having settled into a much more comfortable set of clothes. His typical evening attire was nothing more than a pair of baggy trousers that were visibly worn from daily usage.
“I’ll let you two handle that. I’m going to try and prepare for tomorrow – if anything comes up that changes our plans, please wake me and keep me updated… and Yun-”
The deer gripped the man’s upper arm, locking his blue eyes with hazel.
“-be sure to come straight back here and get some rest, okay? And if you ever need me, I am always here. Don’t be afraid to come find me.”
foresight-botgd
“I will, I promise. I’m…tired.” He probably could have gone to sleep right then and there, but he wanted to stay awake for the briefing. “Might try to hunt down some coffee from a guardhouse before that.”
“I can keep you company until we are summoned. It is…probably best that we start keeping you with some kind of watch from this point onward,” he tentatively suggested. Yun felt a small undercurrent of disappointment, but realized that he didn’t truly want to be alone in the first place.
“Yeah. I get it.”