The Bowl/transcript

== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: May 5, 2012
Episode Copyrighted: 2012
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins with Sandy having a relaxing day at her treedome. Suddenly she hears a honking noise.
Sandy Cheeks: Huh?
A package from above falls in front of her door.
Sandy Cheeks: *gasps* It's here! Yee-haw! My newest science book has arrived! I wonder what new and fantastic area of science will be revealed to me this month!
Another rock bangs her head revealing bloomers in a balloon.
Sandy Cheeks: Oh, hey! It's those fancy bloomers I ordered too! This day just keeps getting better! *walks into the treedome, sits at a picnic table, opens a box and reads my new book* Ahh! Behavioral psychology is the study of people and their habits. I studied underwater chemistry, geology, and astronomy, but I never studied underwater people!
Slide transition cuts to Sandy riding on a bus. She turns on her recording device and begins analyzing.
Sandy Cheeks: Sandy Cheeks. Day one of behavioral study of subjects in Bikini Bottom. Initiating observations, *checks my watch* now! *begins my observations*
As she looks carefully at the fish riding in the bus.
Charlie the Fish: My mom says she wouldn't even try it. No matter how much I saw the lagoons.
Amanda's Mom: My daughter Amanda is exactly the same. It's always an argument, but I've tried to...
Sandy Cheeks: *interrupts the conversation by sliding in between Fred and Charlie and begins observing* Older lumpy looking female subject. Obviously, a mother. Hates daughter.
Amanda's Mom: Excuse me?
Sandy Cheeks: Subject asked to be excused, but I am unable to observe what she wishes to be excused from.
Fred Rechid: Hey! Creepy squirrel! What's with all the eavesdropping?
Charlie the Fish: Take a hike, mammal!
Sandy Cheeks: Emotional state seems to be rising in anger. Eyebrows are now considerably furrowed.
As she is observing, Charlie and Fred push Sandy off the seat and the driver kicks her out of the bus.
Sandy Cheeks: *lands on the ground and straightens myself out* I gotta find new subjects.
The driver throws her recorder and microphone at her head.
Sandy Cheeks: Who won't mind being observed. *sees SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni running around playing* Eureka.
Prospector: Hey, that's my line!
Sandy Cheeks: *walks up to SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni* Hey, fellas! How'd you like to be part of my cool experiment?
Patrick Star: *breathes green air out of my mouth and my face is charred* Ooh! I could use a mint! *rubs my tummy* Mmm!
Sandy Cheeks: No, Patrick. It's an experiment in behavioral psychology.
Patrick Star: That doesn't sound tasty.
Lincoln Loud: What do we have to do?
Sandy Cheeks: It's easy. I observe you while you two act normal.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Act normal?
Sandy Cheeks: Yeah. Just do what you naturally do. *holds out recorder and microphone* Be natural. Starting... now!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *stands straight like robots*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, natural greeting to you, friend.
Leni Loud: Totes Natural greeting returned.
Sandy didn't find that impressive so she did some hand gestures to make SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni do something else.
Lincoln Loud: Would you like to have some natural fun?
Leni Loud: Oh, totes yes. Please.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Naturally. *laughs nervously and sweats*
Sandy Cheeks: Aww. Alright. Experiment's done.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *moves back to our positioned places*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! What are the results?
Patrick Star: *laughs* Hey, did we do good?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, can I have an "A" plus?
Patrick Star: Oh! Oh! Yeah! *squishes SpongeBob* I want an "A" plus too!
Lincoln Loud: I want an "A" plus too!
Leni Loud: And I totes want an "A" plus too!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *giggles with excitement*
Lincoln Loud: Please? Please? Please?
Patrick Star: Pretty please? Pretty please? Pretty please?
SpongeBob SquarePants: *makes cute face* Pretty please with sugar on top?
Sandy Cheeks: Yes, yes. You all get an "A" plus.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Whoo!
Patrick Stat: I knew it!
Lincoln Loud: Alright!
Leni Loud: Yay! *jumps up and down and claps my hands*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *hive-fives each other*
Sandy Cheeks: Subjects acting natural. Resume observation.
Lincoln Loud: Wow, guys! We got an "A" plus!
Sandy Cheeks: *holds out my microphone*
SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni stopped moving around and went back to standing up straight like robots as they did before. She pulls the microphone back and they both start moving again.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: "A" plus! "A" plus! "A" plus!
Sandy Cheeks: Oh, forget it.
The slide transition cuts to Sandy looking at her book while SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni dance around inside the Loud House.
Sandy Cheeks: When a subject is aware of being observed, it can affect his or her actions and create inaccurate data. Hmm… *looks at SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni laughing through the window*
They both slip inside the house quietly.
Sandy Cheeks: Double eureka!
Two Prospectors: That's our line!
Slide transition cuts to Sandy inside the house with SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni.
Sandy Cheeks: Hey! Are you guys up for another experiment?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh boy! Am I ever! Can you hook us up to electrodes? Or, or expose us to gamma rays?
Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: Yeah?
Sandy Cheeks: It's a guaranteed "A" plus.
Patrick Star: Oh! It's like a dream!
Sandy Cheeks: Okay. First thing. Go to the beach and fill one bucket with white sand and one bucket with black sand. Can you do that?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Easy sneezy!
Patrick Star: *sneezes on SpongeBob*
SpongeBob is covered in saliva and Patrick's brain is sticking out of Patrick's nostril.
Patrick Star: *sniffs my brain back into my head*
Sandy Cheeks: *grossed out* Ew.
Leni Loud: Gross.
Patrick Star: Hey, yeah. Whatever he said.
Sandy Cheeks: Then off you go. *opens the door*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *leaves the house*
Sandy Cheeks: Time to get to work. *begins my working process by placing cameras in many parts of the Loud house and hanging microphones on the ceiling.
She puts a pair of headsets on Gary.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *offscreen* Sandy!
Sandy Cheeks: *pushes Gary out of sight*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *arrives with two buckets of white and black sand.
Lincoln Loud: We're back!
Sandy Cheeks: Good job, fellers!
Leni Loud: We're totes an awesome team!
SpongeBob SquarePants: We sure are, buddy!
Sandy Cheeks: Okay, team. For this experiment, I need you to count the grains of sand in each bucket. Then tell me if there are more black grains or more white grains. Or is it the same amount? Alright then. I have to run some errands, but I'll be back later. *walks out*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs* Aye-aye, Captain Sandy.
Sandy Cheeks: Oh, Patrick, you're in charge.
Patrick's brain flips and Patrick is speechless.
Sandy Cheeks: Lincoln?
Lincoln Loud: Yeah.
Sandy Cheeks: And Leni, get your purse.
Leni Loud: I'm on it. *goes upstairs to get my purse*
Sandy Cheeks: *leaves the house*
Outside, an ice cream truck called Pavlovi's Ice Cream was sitting near the house. Inside the truck, Sandy is secretly beginning her experiment with a computer system installed in the truck.
Sandy Cheeks: *snickers* All systems check.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, let's get counting. Should we both count white sand and move onto the black sand or do you want to have your own bucket?
While SpongeBob is talking, Patrick begins to think about what Sandy said before she left.
Patrick Star: *thinks* I'm in charge. I'm in charge. I'm in charge.
Leni Loud: *offscreen, gets my purse* Hey guys.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star and Lincoln Loud: Yes Leni?
Leni Loud: *goes back downstairs* I got my purse.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Good thinking, Leni. Nice purse.
Leni Loud: I was at the mall to buy my dress.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *puppy eyes* Aw, thanks Leni. You're the best. *hugs Leni*
Leni Loud: Oh.
SpongeBob SquarePants: So what's it gonna be, boss?
Patrick Star: Uh, the first one?
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs*
Lincoln Loud: So, you're in charge, Patrick.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *sits on the floor*
Lincoln Loud: *digs my hand in the bucket*
Patrick Star: *thinks* I'm in charge.
Lincoln Loud: One. Ahem.
Patrick Star: *digs my hand in the bucket and thinks* I'm in charge. Two.
Leni Loud: Three.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Four.
Lincoln Loud: Five.
Patrick Star: *thinks* I'm in charge. I'm in charge. I'm in charge. *daydreams of owning his own company called Patrick Corps*
And he is in charge as manager. Back in reality, SpongeBob is continuing counting the white sand.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Forty-seven. Forty-seven?
Leni Loud: What? Forty-seven?
Patrick Star: *wakes up from my daydream* Uh. Huh? What?
Lincoln Loud: Huh. Lost you there for a bit. We were at forty-seven.
Patrick Star: *gets angry* I DON'T KNOW IF I WANNA DO IT THIS WAY.
Leni Loud: *gets angry* I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, PATRICK.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, boss man. How do you wanna do it?
Patrick Star: Uh... *thinks*
Lincoln Loud: How about you and Leni count the white and SpongeBob and I count the black sand?
Patrick Star: Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. *switches buckets with SpongeBob and Lincoln and counts the grains of white sand* Forty-eight, forty-... nine, *grabs a grain and looks closely at it* Oh! Oh, fifty!
Leni Loud: Fifty! *thumbs up and winks*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *starts counting the black sand* One, two, three, four, five. six,...
SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star: Seven, eight, nine, ten.
They both stop.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *smiles at Patrick*
Patrick Star: *groans in frustration*
Meanwhile outside, Sandy is preparing ice cream dishes she is about to use as part of her experiment.
Sandy Cheeks: Time to initiate the first variable. One big bowl. One small bowl. Exactly eight ounces per bowl. *puts on fake mustache and speaks through microphone* Free ice cream! Free ice cream! One day only! Get your free ice cream!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *hears the ice cream truck outside*
Patrick Star: Oh boy! Let's go!
Lincoln Loud: You're the boss!
Squidward, who is reading a magazine, hears the truck as well.
Sandy Cheeks: Free ice cream!
Lynn Loud Jr.: Oh, ice cream!
Squidward Tentacles: Oh my sea stars! Free ice cream!
Lori Loud: Me too!
Sandy Cheeks: *in Italian accent* Hey, boys! How'd ya like a nice free bowl of tootsie frootsie ice cream?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *jumps in excitement*
Sandy Cheeks: Okey-dokey! *gives SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni the bowls of ice cream*
They head back to the Loud House.
Squidward Tentacles: *comes up to the truck* One free ice cream, please?
Sandy Cheeks: *stunned* All sold out. Maybe I'll get some later. *closes the awning on Squidward's nose*
Squidward Tentacles: *pulls my nose out and walks away and grumbles*
Inside the Loud House, SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni are sitting on the couch holding their bowls.
Patrick Star: Um. Uh. Your.. your bowl is bigger!
Lincoln Loud: Do you wanna trade?
Patrick Star: Yeah.
SpongeBob and Patrick trade their bowls
Patrick and Leni's bowl only has a small amount of ice cream in it.
Patrick Star and Leni Loud: *looks at the bowl and sees SpongeBob and Lincoln have more ice cream in it*
Leni Loud: You got more ice cream!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Leni, I think your ice cream only looks smaller, but the bowl is big.
Patrick Star: Well, I wanna trade back!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *trades our bowls again*
Patrick Star and Leni Loud: *realizes that he has the small bowl again*
Patrick Star: There's only one fair thing to do.
Lincoln Loud: What's that?
Patrick Star: *grabs SpongeBob and Lincoln's bowl and eats the ice cream from big and small bowls*
Lincoln Loud: Patrick, you call that fair?
Patrick Star: *throws the bowls away* I'm in charge!
Lincoln Loud: Uh... Oh. Yeah.
Sandy Cheeks: Time for variable two. More free ice cream here! Now, with same sized cones!
Squidward Tentacles: Huh? I just got my slippers on!
Lori Loud: And I got my shoes on!
Sandy Cheeks: Here ya go!
Patrick Star: *grabs the cones before Lincoln* I'll take those, my good man.
Lincoln Loud: But, Patrick, I...
Patrick Star: I'm in charge.
Squidward Tentacles and Lori Loud: *shows up* One cone, please?
Sandy Cheeks: All gone! *closes the awning on Squidward's hands*
Squidward Tentacles: *pulls my hands out and walks back to my house and grumbles* For the love of Pete!
Lori Loud: Stupid ice cream!
Lincoln Loud: Can I have my cone now? Can I have my cone now? Can I have my cone now? Can I have my cone now?
Patrick Star: Hmmm... *sits on the couch* Rub my feet first!
Lincoln Loud: Oh, come on!
Leni Loud: Who's in charge?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Alright, I'll rub your feet. *cringes*
When he sees how hideous Patrick's feet were, but he rubs them anyway. He then notices his cone is melting in Patrick's hand.
Lincoln Loud: Hey! My ice cream is melted all over your hand!
Patrick Star: Oh... I'll fix that. *licks Lincoln's melting ice cream cone*
Lincoln Loud: Patrick, you are making very poor choices!
Patrick Star: Don't you back-sass me! I'm in charge and you have to do what I say! Now count that bucket of white sand.
Lincoln Loud: Alright, I will!
Slides transition cuts to SpongeBob counting the white sand while his cone is melting in Patrick's hand.
Lincoln Loud: One-million eight hundred ninety-three thousand six hundred and one, one-million eight hundred ninety-three thousand six hundred and two, one-million eight hundred ninety-three thousand six hundred and three.
Lincoln's bucket is completely empty, but his ice cream cone is still melting.
Leni Loud: Done! Now to count the black sand.
Patrick Star: *selfishly kicks the bucket of black sand* Oh, that's a pity. *steps on the sand and swirls around together* Looks like you'll have to start over.
SpongeBob SquarePants: AAAAH! *gets angry* ENJOYING THAT ICE CREAM, PATRICK?
Patrick Star: Yes, I am.
Lincoln Loud: Would you like sprinkles on it? *puts a handful of white sand on Patrick's ice cream cone, looking like sprinkles*
Patrick Star: Hey! *drops my cone on the sand and arrogantly eats Lincoln's melted cone*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *becomes enraged at Patrick's selfish behavior as steam comes out of my holes*
However, Sandy discovers what is happening during her experiment.
Sandy Cheeks: Jeepers! I didn't see that comin'!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *decides to leave the Loud House
Leni Loud: *locks the door* No! You're not leaving until I say so!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *glares at each other and begins circling around*
As they are ready to fight.
Gary the Snail: *watches nervously at the confrontation*
Sandy Cheeks: *voiceover* Sandy to Gary! Sandy to Gary! How serious is the situation?
Gary the Snail: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Sandy Cheeks: Oh, I didn't think this all the way through! I've gotta shut this down! *activates the emergency button*
The siren goes off.
Lori Loud: *walks* Oh Bobby!
Squidward Tentacles: Ah-ha! *runs out* I want my free...
Sandy Cheeks: *opens the door*
Which sends Squidward flying head first into the sand.
Sandy Cheeks: *races out of the truck and accidentally steps on Squidward*
Lori Loud: *growls*
Squidward Tentacles: *pops my head out of the sand*
Sandy Cheeks: *pulls on the door* Open the door! The experiment is over! *knocks on it* Open the door!
Patrick Star: You heard Sandy! Open the door!
SpongeBob SquarePants: You open it!
Leni Loud: No, you open it!
Lincoln Loud: No, you open it!
Patrick Star: No, you open it!
SpongeBob SquarePants: No, you open it!
Sandy Cheeks: *kicks the door open*
Patrick Star: Mr. Pavlovi, tell SpongeBob to open the door!
Leni Loud: Mr. Pavlovi, tell Lincoln to open the door!
Sandy Cheeks: *takes off my fake mustache* It's me! Sandy!
Patrick's anger disappears and his head pops in sudden realization.
Sandy Cheeks: The experiment is over!
SpongeBob SquarePants: But we didn't even finish counting the sand!
Sandy Cheeks: I didn't care about the sand! I just wanted to observe you acting naturally. So I hid microphones and cameras around your house...
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: Cameras? *looks around and sees that Sandy was right*
There were cameras and microphones hidden around the house. They stood straight like robots as they did at the beginning. SpongeBob then notices Gary wearing a pair of headsets and a camera on his shell, realizing that he was in on Sandy's experiment too.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sadly* Et tu, Gary?
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Patrick, upon realizing that he got carried away with being in charge, breaks down in tears.
Patrick: I was a monster! I deserve a "C" minus! *sobs*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Aww, Patrick. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Leni Loud: C minus?! *sniffs*
Lincoln Loud: *to Leni, smiles* Don't worry, Leni. Sandy will give us an "A." It was the experiment's fault that Patrick was such a jerk.
Patrick Star: I blame science! Stupid science!
Lynn Loud Jr.: *walks into the Loud House* This ice cream is so delicious! *eats ice cream*
Sandy Cheeks: Everybody gets an "A" plus ice cream!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, yeah!
Patrick Star: *laughs*
Squidward Tentacles and Lori Loud: *steps out of the sand and hears laughter in the Loud House.
They step in the house.
Squidward Tentacles: What is going on?
Lori Loud: And where did you get this ice cream?
Squidward Tentacles and Lori Loud: *sees SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Gary, Lincoln, Leni and Lynn incredibly full from eating ice cream* I know it's a stupid question, but is there any ice cream left?
Lynn Loud Jr.: *groans* Sorry. We're all out. *burps*
Squidward Tentacles: *starts a tantrum* You ate it all?! You animals! You didn't even leave me one drop?! *picks up an empty ice cream container and looks in it* There's gotta be some left in here! *looks through all the containers and starts crying*
Lori Loud: *sighs, then goes upstairs*
Lynn Jr., Sandy Cheeks, Lincoln, SpongeBob SquarePants, Gary the Snail, Leni Loud and Patrick Star: *leaves*
Rita Loud: *offscreen* Kids, time for dinner.
Lincoln Loud: We're outside, Mom.
Sandy Cheeks: Now let the real experiment begin. *pulls the Loud House costume off, revealing that it was a cage in disguise as the Loud House.
Squidward Tentacles: *continues looking for ice cream in one of the containers* Come on! Get in my mouth! No, this one's empty!
Rita Loud: *angrily* Sandy!
The episode ends with Squidward in the cage crying for ice cream while SpongeBob, Lincoln, Sandy, Lynn, Gary, Patrick and Leni begin studying his behavior patterns, then it says "THE END."
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