Aliens Got My Leg!

Aliens Got My Leg is the pilot episode of My Leg!
==Script==
[Fred is walking down the street.]
*FRED: Ah, what a beautiful day it is, isn't it? Beautiful sky, beautiful sidewalk, beautiful- [notices SpongeBob is next to him and they both stop] SpongeBob?!
*SPONGEBOB: Oh, hey Fred. I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I go to work with you.
*FRED: What? No, you can't! You are not following MY LEG (1) to work!
*SPONGEBOB: What? Why not?
*FRED: [counts fingers] A) You don't work there! B) You already have a job at the Krusty Krab! and C) ya later!
*SPONGEBOB: Uh, the Krusty Krab's closed today because it's Sunday.
*FRED: Dude, smooth move Mr Krabs making you take a day off just so he could save one measly penny!
*SPONGEBOB: But i really gotta go somewhere outside the house, you know!
*FRED: I am sorry, but it's just... I've been having a recurring dream in the past week.
*SPONGEBOB: A recurring dream? What is it, I ask?
*FRED: Here, let me tell you.
[Flashback. Fred describes the dreamas it happens]
*FRED: Every night, I dream that I am still in bed,when all of a sudden, there is that very weird bright red light that just comes out of the window over there. And then I get up from my bed and check outside the door to see weird-looking fish, and they put me in a burlap sack and spray me with knock out gas. Then I wake up to see myself in this very weird spaceship that is outside the planet, and so I see that those weird fish have mutilated MY LEG (2) and want to do something with it!
[End of flashback]
*FRED: Yep, that's one crazy dream, indeed.
*SPONGEBOB: Uh, Fred?
*FRED: Yes SpongeBob?
*SPONGEBOB: I don't think that was a dream.
*FRED: Why not? My coworkers said it was a dream!
*SPONGEBOB: Because I've been seeing a UFO every day for the past week. Those must have been aliens. They abduct people and multilate kelp gardens!
*FRED: But Nurse Bazooka said- [he hears the car nearby before it reaches the road] Speaking of Nurse Bazooka, here she comes.
*NURSE BAZOOKA: Hey, Fred, did you see that you-foe from last night?
*FRED: You did? I mean, you did. And yes, I did.
*NURSE BAZOOKA: You know what this means, right?
*FRED: Yeah, what?
*NURSE BAZOOKA: That dream of yours ain't no dream. It might be for real, Fred.
*FRED: You're right!
*SPONGEBOB: Now that explains why Gary was missing and his food bowl had a letter with weird letters in it.
*FRED: Now let's go get your friend Patrick and rescue your friend Gary!
*NURSE BAZOOKA: Yeah, it's time to get revenge against those Klingon morons! I'd help, but I agreed with Flotsam to work a double-shift today and tomorrow. [drives off]
*FRED: Well, at least we're not the only ones in Bikini Bottom who were not attacked by aliens recently.
[Bubble transition. The police are at Squidward's house, where O'Malley and friends are writing notes from Squidward]
*O'MALLEY: So, you say that aliens attacked your kelp garden, stole your paintings, broke your clarinet, and defaced your mother's portrait?
*SQUIDWARD: I know you mock me because of my clarinet playing, but this is for real! It was aliens, man! Aliens I say! 
*COP: Huh, I think y'all are idiots.
*SQUIDWARD: You know what? Let's just forget it! [goes back in his house which yells:] Cops, get the Sam Hill out of my house!
*O'MALLEY: Fine! [to Cop] Next time you wanna deal with people like him, why don't you try to show some equal compassion to them?
[BBN Breaking News: War of the Worlds 2.0]
*JOHNNY LANE: Alien pandemonium has swept Bikini Bottom this past week! Earlier today, local resident and pain-in-the-butt Squidward Q. Tentaclez [TEN-ta-KLEHZ] claimed that aliens attacked his private property. More importantly, Old Man Jenkins is concerned that his manatees will be nothing but skeletons! We go with Perch Perkins on the scene!
[Perch Perkins is near a farm.]
*PERCH PERKINS: Thank you, Lane. Just hours ago, Old Man Jenkins discovered that there were full manatee skeletons inside the shed where he keeps his manatees, and then he realized that aliens might have done something to them. OMJ?
*OLD MAN JENKINS: Don't call me that! I blame those space folk and their flying machines! So there you have it! I knew no good would come from space folk and their flying machines!
*PERCH PERKINS: Now, there you have it. Aliens have intruded Bikini Bottom, and worse, there could be aliens everywhere! 
[the manatees are apparently spooked from the alien mention, causing them to run out of the farm and into a nearby train]
*ORRIN J RUFFY: Hey hey hey! Don't do that! This is a people train, not for manatees!
[he is run over by the manatees, who fill up the train as it leaves. The chaos causes people to run away]
*VOICES: Run, run! God save us! Ahhhh!
*PERCH PERKINS: So head for the hills and hide in the cellar, because aliens are probably going to take over the world! [runs away screaming]
[back to Johnny Lane]
*JOHNNY LANE: Thank you, Perch. If you are interested in stories that could take your mind off those pesky aliens, coming up next, a Bubble Bass whose restaurant order has more words than the Dead Sea Scrolls!
[Jellyfish Fields. Spongebob, Patrick and Fred are walking to an empty part of the fields]
*FRED: There. This is where the aliens' last signal came.
*SPONGEBOB: How did you know?
*FRED: MY LEG! (3) beeps slower whenever it is further from some unknown location, so I figured that it might beep faster if it came closer. And the louder it beeps, the more likely the aliens might arrive.
*PATRICK: So we get to go jellyfishing and meet aliens?
*SPONGEBOB: Oh no, we're not jellyfishing.
*PATRICK: Oh...
*SPONGEBOB: Okay. maybe after the aliens arrive.
*PATRICK: Yay!
[a small light shines towards them and it grows]
*SPONGEBOB: What is that?
[Fred's leg starts beeping]
*FRED: It's beeping faster! Oh no.
[Fred falls to the ground, and a giant satellite dish griws out of Fred's leg]
*FRED: MY LEG! (4)
[The UFO arrives, The UFO opens up, revealing three aliens who walk out of the UFO and down into the ground.]
*SPONGEBOB: Who are you?
*UFO: We are species. You are water people.
*SPONGEBOB: What about that guy Fred [points to him] and HIS LEG?
*UFO: Portable satellite dish fell from cargo into blue planet because Ned slip and press button.
*SPONGEBOB: Guess you owe Fred an apology.
[The trajn arrives and crashes into a nearby coral tree, and the manatees hurry out.]
*SPONGEBOB: Ooh, I forgot. What about the manatees, why did you vaporize them?
*UFO: That not me. Fault of Jed.
*JED: Sorry.
*SPONGEBOB: And what about Squidward's place? [shows pic of Squidward and his house]
*UFO: Eh, I hate him personally. His clarinet playing interferes with the ship's navigation system.
*SPONGEBOB: Oh, I bid him adieu.
*FRED: But what about MY LEG? (5)
[UFO hands out a pocket spinning blade. ]
*UFO: This might hurt a little.
[The screen closes.]
*FRED: MY LEG! (6)
[The end]
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:2018
Category:2018 Episodes
Category:FoxyGrandpa8
Category:My Leg!
Category:2010s