Headhunters 3: The Soon-to-be-Severed Seventeen

== Introduction ==
After an absolutely bonkers week, we've made it through phase one of Headhunters. I learned to hate and then love this league all over again. 
At the end of this writeup, I did put one last section about #TradeGate2021 for those that are interested. If you're not, than don't read it. That's why I put it at the end. 
That being said, I did want to make one thing clear at the very beginning of the writeup:
== New Rules (Dua Lipa) ==
Now that the collusion period has ended for 2021, I think there is room to grow off the Bottom Two Merger Twist that we tried out the last few weeks. I wanted to see how it played and what people felt about it and the reaction was mixed. Additionally, the reaction to the bitch/emoji collusion that it inspired was extremely negative. So I think there is middle ground/potential in merger strategies. 
Let's see how everyone feels at the end of 2021 whether we expand or remove collusion in 2022. 
Regarding the rest of 2021:
* No collusion or merger with another team unless it becomes a new twist later depending on how crazy I'm feeling that week.
* Fair trades can still include players, draft picks, money, or immunity idols (as of now, Derek is the only person in possession of an idol)
*At any point you can put one of your players up for auction and collect that cash (message me if you're interested). 
* Tanking/benching players for waiver priority is still fair game
==It's ALIIIIVE! (Bobecue Chicken)==
Just in time for the Halloween season, we have our first resurrection in Headhunters history. 
When we lost two managers last week in possibly the most ridiculous overblown disagreement in LOC history, I knew there was only one man to call. 
Bob was the unfortunate victim of an early chopping in week two. He wanted to team up, but instead got taken behind the woodshed by Soul Survivor. Luckily for him, I decided to go John Hammond on his ass and squeeze a drop of blood out of a dead mosquito to clone him back from extinction. 
So Bob has returned as Sloppy Seconds and now controls the roster drafted by the deceased Steve Blackman's Nun. We're treating this like a Baltimore Raven/Cleveland Brown situation. He may not have drafted this roster but the recordbooks will log his season as Bobecue's, not Steve Blackman's. 
Now that he is back, he has just one thing on his mind: revenge. Soul Survivor is still out there, stronger and more Van Rossumy than ever. Will Bob survive long enough to see his foes vanquished? 
==A New Criminal Joins the Dungeon - Introducing Roger Bacon==
What a fucking way to burst on to the scene for Roger Bacon, ladies and gentlemen. The newest manager to join the fray, playing under the "Who the Fuck are all of you" banner, Roger has already made a HUGE impact in his first six days. 
Roger is a college buddy of mine, who also has ties to Bobecue Chicken and Ya Hate 2 See It. We studied film together and even made a strange experiemental short called "Safety in Numbers" that probably only exists on the dark web at this point. 
He's a Jets fan who lacks the blind confidence of Bad Boys and the innocent hope of Soul Survivor. He is the first player to ever join the LOC Expanded Universe who resides on the west coast (California). He's the perfect blend of "I'm going to win this league" and "I have no idea what's going on," which essentially boils down to 1.) he'll be good at the fantasy part and 2.) he won't know enough to come up with an insane scheme to collude and overthrow me. 
Roger had a big first week. For starters, he won the re-bid for DK Metcalf at 70% of the initial price. Then he proceeded to win the week with a whopping 215.73. For dessert, he pulled off the biggest trade (by player rankings) in HH history when he shipped Ridley and Sony off to Guilloteam for Najee Harris and Jakobi Meyers. 
I can't wait to see what he does for an encore. Welcome into the fold, Bacon. 
==Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)==
This and all other charts adjusted to reflect Bobecue Chicken still alive and Pats a bitch extinct. 
Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)
Team 	2021 Finish	2020 Finish	2019 Finish
Pats a bitch	20th (-1) 	19th 	N/A
Arguably the worst team to ever participate in Headhunters, maybe even topping "Philip's Team" from 2019. Philip's Team, for those who forget, never set his lineup or bid on any players and still somehow survived four weeks. 
Through three weeks, Pats a bitch is technically the only team to be eliminated. 19 other managers are still alive. 
==Dead Money==
Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.
Dead Money
Dead Money	% of Total Eliminated Cash
$1000 	100%
==Week Three Merge: The Van Rossum Alliance==
After finishing in last place week one, Soul Survivor opted for a head-to-head with Bobecue Chicken that ended up knocking Chicken into early extinction. 
In week two, it was Commish and Coach blazing a trail and tanking to merge. 
In week three, Soul Survivor once again finishes in last place, only this time on purpose. Soul Survivor has decided to merge with her cousin, Bad Boys owner KVR. Together, they have formed Bad VRs, a strong Van Rossum alliance that immediately shoots to a top-10 contender. It's worth noting that a bad trade offer in 2019 created an early rivalry between KVR and Bob. Add in the Soul Survivor vs. Sloppy Seconds showdown in week two and the intensity is ratcheted up even higher between Bobecue and the Van Rossum Alliance. 
Knowing that Bad Boys and Soul Survivor were tanking, Beach McBungalow smartly benched their team in order to piggyback on the tank and up their waiver priority (based on reverse order of standings). It's the first ever three-team strategic move and it's exactly what I envisioned when I put this in place. It almost makes me want to add one more merge week on to the Wheel of Fate... 
==New Releases==
Teams are starting to starve, just like real Survivor castaways. They're begging for an infusion of talent on the waiver wire. Well, they're going to have to wait one more week. Here are the best new players on the market:
#Teddy Bridgewater
#JD McKissic
#Peyton Barber
#Parris Campbell
#Evan Engram
After taking Kareem Hunt last week, Soul Survivor's infinity gauntlet continues collecting stones with a haul from Bad Boys that includes Deebo, Zeke, and Aaron Rodgers. 
==Week Three Bidding Results==
Week Three Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid	Next Highest Bid
Austin Ekeler 	The Titanic 	$501 	$400 (The Guilloteam)
DK Metcalf 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	$350 	$334 (CP)
Aaron Rodgers 	Bad Boys 	$333 	$69 (It's Blitz! Track 2)
Jakobi Meyers 	The Guilloteam 	$25 	$11 (CP)
Justin Fields 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	$25 	$0 (The Titanic)
Michael Carter 	Return of the Mac 	$21 	$5 (I Can Dere-lick My Own balls)
Laviska Shenault Jr. 	Return of the Mac 	$11 	N/A
K.J. Osborn 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	$9 	N/A
Arizona D 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	$6 	$0 (The Titanic)
Marquez Valdes-Scantling	Hasta Laviska Baby 	$2 	$0 (CP)
==== Quick-hit thoughts ====
* Titanic knew his plea for a merger was going unanswered so he bid big to nab a back that could compensate for the loss of J.K. Dobbins.
* Aaron Rodgers went for $280 more than necessary with the 2nd highest bid being Blitz's traditional 69. However, with the merger, Bad Boys gained half of that back (merged teams keep the average of the two budgets). 
* Meyers only went for $25, which still seems like too much, but Guilloteam traded his ass days later anyway. What was the end game for that one?
* Return of the Mac spent his money on two players who underwhelmed, and his team would have been chopped had it not been for the merge tanks. He'll have to dream a little bigger this week. 
Last Year's most expensive week two player: Alvin Kamara ($512). 
==Money Spent Per Week==
Money Spent Per Week
Week	Budget Spent 	Budget Spent (2020)	Budget Spent (2019)
2 	$9 (2 Players) 	$1173 (12 Players) 	$1339 (7 Players)
3 	$1283 (10 Players)	$1033 (7 Players) 	$1902 (15 Players)
==Week Three Results==
Week Three Results
Player 	Total Points
Who the Fuck are all of you?	215.73
Out of Luck 	207.15
Last Matts Standing 	205.16
CP 	189.17
The Guilloteam 	179.99
Hasta Laviska Baby 	179.34
Sloppy Seconds 	176.63
Shotti's Bugatti 	169.97
I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	143.31
Ya Hate 2 See It 	142.06
The Titanic 	139.04
Neck-Fix and Chill 	131.33
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	125.86
It's Blitz! Track 2 	121.91
Return of the Mac 	120.63
Beach McBungalow 	0
Bad Boys 	0
Soul Survivor 	0
Henry VIII 	0
Pats a bitch 	0
*Biggest Climber: CP (^12)
*Biggest Faller: I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls/Return of the Mac (v8)
==2021 Draft Dodgers==
Team Results Based on Draft Position
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Beach McBungalow 	ALIVE
2 	Return of the Mac 	ALIVE
3 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	ALIVE
4 	Bad Boys 	ENDANGERED
5 	Pats a Bitch (Steve Blackman's Nun)	2
6 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	ALIVE
7 	Henry VIII 	MERGED
8 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	ALIVE
9 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	ALIVE
10 	Out of Luck 	ALIVE
11 	Soul Survivor 	ENDANGERED
12 	@FFDraftScott 	ALIVE
13 	Shotti's Bugatti 	ALIVE
14 	Last Coach Standing 	MERGED
15 	Bobecue Chicken (Sloppy Seconds) 	ALIVE
16 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	ALIVE
17 	The Guilloteam 	ALIVE
18 	Who the Fuck are all of you? 	ALIVE
19 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	ALIVE
20 	CP 	ALIVE
==Kings of the Castle==
===1. Who the Fuck are all of you?===
A lot has already been said about the theatrical entrance of our newest manager. Real come to Jesus moment for the rest of the league that maybe we replaced Steve Blackman's Nun with a manager who actually knows what he is doing. 
===2. Out of Luck===
Nasty group of WRs here with Davante Adams, Keenan Allen, Ja'Marr Chase, and now Brandon Aiyuk getting going. David Johnson starting at RB, albeit an Out of Luck mainstay, is not the best look. But there is enough talent to keep the good times rolling for a while longer. 
===3. Last Matts Standing===
The debut of the Matt Alliance went pretty okay. For two teams combining forces, a first place finish should have almost been automatic, and would have been if not for the start/sit decision with Hurts and Herbert. 
===4. CP===
Well yeah, if Matthew Stafford is going to do THAT every week this team is in great shape. CEH and Andrews both came alive too, giving CP the first good performance of the season. 
===5. The Guilloteam===
Someone forgot to tell Guilloteam that if something isn't broken, you don't try to fix it. Maybe he didn't want to go another week starting Sammy Watkins and Brandin Cooks as his two WRs, because he shipped off his highest scoring non-QB player for Calvin Ridley. TE also seems to be a problem for this team if Gronk is going to start breaking down, plus David Njoku is still loyal to McBungalow so I don't expect any production from him. 
==On the Chopping Block==
===19. Soul Survivor===
Now she becomes Bad VRs and merges with a manager out to prove that last season's early exit was a fluke. 
===18. Bad Boys===
Bad Boys got confused last season and was the second eliminated. He blamed it on being a basketball coach or something, but who can say for sure? He's already lasted twice as long this season and is on a war path now that he's merged with Soul Survivor.
===17. Beach McBungalow===
Nothing to stress about here for Beach McBung. The team is strong and now, thanks to his strategy, 4th in waiver priority. 
===16. Return of the Mac===
Good thing for Kyler Murray's 31 points or this team may not have gotten over the Costa Line. Dyami Brown actually net negative in a flex spot. Could be scary hours if Dalvin Cook cannot suit up in week 4. 
===15. It's Blitz! Track 2===
Brutal day for Blitz. He lost AJ Brown, who is now week-to-week, and James White, both mid-game. Big Ben looks #Done, and Antonio Brown is out with COVID. With very little on the waiver wire this week, Blitz is certainly on the #EdgeOfExtinction.
==Average Scores of Eliminated Teams==
Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Played
Pats a bitch	147.32 	2
==Narrow Defeats==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
Pats a bitch	N/A 	2
==Rulers of the Kingdom==
2021 first place finishers:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Return of the Mac 	208.47
2 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	249.61
3 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	215.73
==Dungeon Dwellers==
2021 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:
Low Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Bobecue Chicken 	132.96
2 	Mixon Beer with Liquor	118.90
3 	Return of the Mac 	120.63
What a descent for Mac, going 1st in week one to last in week 3. Should be interesting this week.
==Single Season Scoring Records==
Updated through the 2020 season. Will anyone be able to come close to the 3400+ point performances of CP or Blitz from 2019? As teams get eliminated their season will be added to the record books. Bob's season was added in here last week but since he's back I've taken him out and added Pats a bitch instead. 
All-Tme Single Season HH Point Records
Score 	Player 	Year
3428.76	CP 	2019
3402.18	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2019
3015.53	Mixon Beer 	2020
2997.67	The Guilloteam 	2019
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	2020
2743.25	@FFDraftScott 	2020
2733.07	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2020
2709.59	Mac 	2019
2422.98	Dere-Lick 	2019
2377.31	The Guilloteam 	2020
2285.51	CP 	2020
2282.91	Out of Luck 	2020
2046.35	LIVEWithIt 	2019
1941.63	Bobecue Chicken 	2019
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	2020
1736.99	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2019
1611.76	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2020
1512.91	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2020
1439.40	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2020
1357.00	Henry VIII 	2019
1238.56	Bluedevils 	2019
1132.61	Henry VIII 	2020
1116.98	Shotti's Bugatti 	2020
1055.63	Mac 	2020
1049.89	LIVEWithIt 	2020
975.59 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2019
717.82 	Out of Luck 	2019
713.12 	Dere-Lick 	2020
481.22 	@FFDraftScott 	2019
459.96 	Bobecue Chicken 	2020
294.62 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2021
286.36 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2019
262.69 	Bad Boys 	2020
115.16 	Mixon Beer 	2019
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2020
==All-Time Combined Points Scored==
Updated through the 2020 season. As teams get eliminated, their updated totals will be added to the record books.
All-Tme Combined Points Records
Score 	Player 	Years Played
6135.25	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2
5714.27	CP 	2
5374.98	The Guilloteam 	2
3765.22	Mac 	2
3249.90	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2
3224.47	@FFDraftScott 	2
3136.10	Dere-Lick 	2
3130.69	Mixon Beer 	2
3106.24	LIVE With It 	2
3000.73	Out of Luck 	2
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	1
2489.61	Henry VIII 	2
2414.99	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2
2401.59	Bobecue Chicken 	2
1898.12	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	1
1738.10	Bad Boys 	2
1238.56	Bluedevils 	1
1116.98	Shotti's Bugatti 	1
698.91 	Phillip's Team 	1
391.19 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2
==Remaining Budget==
Remaining Budget as of 09/28/21
Player 	Total Budget
I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	$1000
Out of Luck 	$1000
Shotti's Bugatti 	$1000
Neck-Fix and Chill 	$1000
CP 	$1000
Ya Hate 2 See It 	$1000
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	$1000
Beach McBungalow 	$1000
Hasta Laviska Baby 	$998
Sloppy Seconds 	$997
Last Matts Standing 	$997
It's Blitz! Track 2 	$985
The Guilloteam 	$975
Return of the Mac 	$968
Bad VRs 	$834
Who the Fuck are all of you?	$625
The Titanic 	$499
Bad Boys 	0
Pats a bitch 	0
==CONCLUSION==
That's all for this week! Little blurb about TradeGate below for those who want a little bit more of my thought process on the future of the league. For everyone else, see you next week and happy hunting!
==#TradeGate2021==
By now everyone pretty much knows what went down. I wasn't happy with what I viewed as a questionable move, and the two managers involved weren't happy with what they viewed as a hypocritical stance/overreaction on my part. The managers quit. No hard feelings. It was a disagreement about fantasy football, not life or death and certainly not something that affects anything outside of the game. 
I did have a pretty enlightening discussion with an anonymous manager about what this league truly is and why my decision to limit collusion wasn't necessarily correct. I enjoyed this talk a lot even though I didn't 100% agree with that notion. 
They told me the league changed forever the moment I introduced merging teams, and I have to allow that to grow and continue. They said "Headhunters is essentially the game of Survivor." And they nailed it, because that's EXACTLY what I was going for. 
What I love about Survivor is that (for the most part) the game can throw twists and turns at players and change the dynamics of the competition, but contestants still need to outwit and outplay in order to outlast. I say for the most part because there are seasons where the twists influence the game too much. In season 19, one dude survived by finding THREE hidden immunity idols. Instead of being voted out, he made it to the final two. Sure, the strategy of finding idols is part of it. But it's also a little bit too much luck or producer intervention, don't you think? 
So is it still fantasy football if a team uses mechanisms outside of the actual game of fantasy to advance beyond where he or she has any right advancing? 
One immunity idol saves you for a week. You have to earn it and decide when to play it. That's strategy. Three idols has little to do with strategy or fantasy. It just knocks off three other players that maybe deserved to keep playing because they statistically did better than you.
Or this: merge three teams early, get $3,000 and enough top-20 players to coast the first 10 weeks without making a move...then come over the top on everyone down the stretch when they only have a couple hundo left combined. Is that fair? 
Yeah, everyone else could do the same thing. And yeah, the managers only get 1/3rd of the pot if they win but does it ruin the game for 17 other players who just want to play guillotine and have managed their teams well on their own? I don't know. 
All I know is that I felt a runaway train coming with what happened last week and needed to stop it before it got out off the tracks. Did I do it in too dramatic a fashion? Probably, but you guys know me by now and that's the only way I know how to do things. 
If this is going to expand and become part of the chaos, so be it, but there still needs to be some regulation. "Survivor" contestants can't collude with camera people for food and shelter, you know? They still exist within the confines of the game.
I agree with what anonymous manager #1 said. This is Survivor. This is a different game than straight up fantasy. However, the rules for this season were clear that you had to be in the bottom two for the first three weeks in order to attempt a merge. Next year, and every year that follows, I promise that all the rules will be made clearer from the very beginning before people buy in. If next year it's decided that collusion is allowed through September, or up to the top 10, or not at all, than it will be known by everyone playing. For now, we're over that period of the game for 2021 and we're going to play some fantasy football. Let's get on with it!