Welcome to Hell

Welcome to Hell is the twenty-sixth episode as well as mid-season finale of Cult of Squid season four. It aired March 20th, 2020 and was written by PrimitiveSponge129 and Purple133.
== Plot ==
Squidward makes the decision for the cult to attempt to invade Hell itself; worried about them possibly teaming up with Satan, the Feathered Friends make a stand against them.
== Transcript ==
(Episode begins with the small group assembled last episode looking for the doorway to hell)
Squidward: Brother Brother have you found anything on the map?
Brother Brother: Yes, I think that it might be where this giant bloody red “X” is.
Squidward: That’s a very good point Brother Brother. To the red X we march!
(The cult members who came with Squidward follow him to the location of the “X”)
Buff Jim: We almost there?
Squidward: I think that’s it.
(Squidward points to a trapdoor surrounded by a ring of golden skulls and lava shooting out around it)
Security: Yeah I’m also pretty sure that’s it.
Yvonne: Squidward this seems to be a very impulsive decision. Why take hell?
Squidward: We’ll have ground in two dimensions. Plus if we take hell and throw Satan out of power then we have legions of demons to command.
Brother Caldwell: Ooooh spooky.
Squidward: Brother Caldwell is this funny to you?
Brother Caldwell: Well it’s not like you have a chance anyways.
Squidward: Hey! You can’t talk to me like that!
(Brother Caldwell blinks and suddenly his eyes are black)
Brother Caldwell: There’s no stopping my master.
Squidward: What the [dolphin noises]
Security: WOAH! WHAT’S GOING ON?
Buff Jim: It would appear Caldwell is no longer with us.
Brother Caldwell: You idiots. You never noticed me, you never talked to me. You never even took the time to consider that maybe Satan placed a spy inside the cult just to make sure there was no funny business. His armies are ready for your attack. So go on then. Give it your all. Oh wait, maybe don’t. I want to have the joy of killing you all here myself.
Brother Brother: What the [dolphin noises] are you?
Brother Caldwell: Name’s Abraxas. I’m a demon from Hell.
(Brother Caldwell motions his hand to the right and snaps Brother Brother’s neck)
Squidward: NO!
Brother Caldwell: Yes! I would kill you all myself but I have orders. 
(The demon exists Brother Caldwell and leaves him for dead)
Squidward: Guys we need to do this. Call in reinforcements.
Security: I’m scared.
Squidward: Me too. But we have to do this. 
(Security dials the number on his phone for reinforcements)
Doctor Crayons: Hello, this is the Cult. Doctor Crayons speaking. 
Security: Send in all the reinforcements.
Doctor Crayons: Okay. Did something go wrong?
Security: Brother and Caldwell are dead, they ambushed us. 
Doctor Crayons: Wait, Brother Brother is dead?
Security: Yes.
Doctor Crayons: Oh my… oh my god, this is actually serious isn’t it. 
Security: Yes. Send everybody we have. 
Doctor Crayons: Alright. 
(Doctor Crayons is heard shouting something inaudible and then a resounding HUT is heard)
Doctor Crayons: Yeah, they’re ready.
(A few hours later Brother Squidward has a mass gathered outside the door to hell)
Squidward: Brothers today we’re taking Hell itself! Be ready for anything! And I mean anything!
(All of a sudden a loud scream is heard and the feathered friends hop over a hill on a motorcycle)
SpongeBob: Not today you’re not taking hell!
Squidward: Wait what, how did you guys even escape?
Patrick: I actually ate one of the bars.
Mr. Krabs: It was gross. 
Squidward: Whatever. Are you here to help us?
SpongeBob: Well actually we’re here to stop you from entering hell to team up with Satan. 
Squidward: Oh okay. (Motions to Buff Jim) kill them. 
Buff Jim: My pleasure. 
(Buff Jim cracks his knuckles and a camera shot shows that he’s twice the size of SpongeBob)
Buff Jim: It’s clobberin time.
SpongeBob: Okay stop! What do you want Squidward?
Squidward: Either join us and help the cult invade Hell, or leave now. Or die. Whatever you want. 
SpongeBob: Come on guys, we’re leaving.
Krabs: Okay.
(SpongeBob turns and walks a few steps away, then turns back and punches Buff Jim in the stomach)
Buff Jim: Big mistake. 
(Buff Jim charges at the Feathered Friends but suddenly the ground shakes beneath him)
Squidward: What’s going on?
Security: I’m scared!
Patrick: Me too!
(The ground tears open and legions of demons fly out)
Squidward: Oh piss. We didn’t even get past the door!
Brother Abortion: It’s okay we made it to the front of the door.
(Satan emerges)
Satan: Squidward! I helped you get back in power and this is the thanks I get?
Squidward: *stammering* oh um oh uhhhhh hi Satan. 
Satan: You do understand you were doomed to fail from the start, right? 
Squidward: I mean I guess.
Satan: And now we’re going to have to extinguish you.
Squidward: Oh shit.
(The demons begins attacking and carrying off cult members)
Squidward: Stop it! Stop!
Satan: Do you think I’m just going to stop?
(Satan calls off his demons)
Satan: I'm not going to stop. You are an insolent fool for thinking you could come and take MY territory. 
Squidward: So what are you gonna do?
Satan: Over the coming months, you will be punished for your actions. You have to pay penance. Now leave this place.
Squidward: No!
(Squidward tries attacking a demon but gets blasted all the way back to the cult)
Satan: Anybody else?
(The entire cult scatters; cut to Squidward having a meeting with the cult)
Squidward: Well guys we lost. We didn’t even get past the front gate.
Security: So what now?
Squidward: We prepare. Satan isn’t going to let this one go, but we can’t just sit here and wait for him to kill us all. We need to up our defenses quickly. Can anybody here read into some lore?
SpongeBob: I can!
Squidward: Why aren’t you in the ja- actually whatever, we need all hands on deck. We need to be ready guys. We HAVE to be ready.
Category:Cult of Squid
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Transcripts
Category:2020
Category:2020 Episodes
Category:2020 Transcripts
Category:2020s