The Y2K Toilet

The Y2K Toilet is the sixty-fifth prank call in the Crotchety Old Man Calls.
==Transcript==
(ringback tone)
Man: Hello, (censored).
Milton: Oh, thank God you've answered! Let me speak to the jackass that installed this toilet!
Man: Hello?
Milton: Yes, are you hard of hearing?!
Man: Who are you, first of all? And you need to relax and quit hollerin' at me.
Milton: My name is Milton and I wanna speak to the moron that put in this toilet bowl!
Man: I don't know who you are, first of all. What's your ad-
Milton: I'm a customer and I had a toilet bowl installed and obviously some schmuck put it in!
(faint country music in background)
Man: .....what is your address?
Milton: My address is 1413 Flika-Flaka Lane!
Man: 1415 what?
Milton: No! 1413! Flika! Flaka! Lane!
Man: .....I think you got the wrong number.
Milton: No, I don't! It was your company that put in this new toilet bowl!
Man: When was this?
Milton: Back in April!
Man: ......alrighty. W-how do you spell that address?
Milton: F-L-I-K-A! Hyphen! F-L-A-K-A!....I just read in the newspaper that my toilet will not work after January 1st, 2000 because of Y2K compliance problems!
Man: Hmm....
(country music continues to play in the background)
Man: Well, I'll be...
Milton: Will you please turn that stinking music down in the background?! I can't hear a word you're saying!
(man hangs up)
(ringback tone)
Man: Hello, (censored).
Milton: Excuse me, you hung up on me!
Man: Look, I don't know what you're talking about- I never heard of this before, I have no idea what you're talkin' about.
Milton: Do you always treat your customers this way?! It's bad enough that you installed-
Man: I wou-I would reinterate this again- what kind of toilet did you had- did you have installed?
Milton: I had a toilet that you sit on! What do ya mean 'what kind of toilet'? What kind of t-how many toilets are there?! I had you come out and you install the toilet to replace the old toilet and now I find out that I've been gypped!
Man: How-you, how'd you find that out?
Milton: Because it was in the newspaper this morning that my toilet won't work after January because you put in an old, non-compliant toilet!
Man: Ooh boy!.......Do you have a copy of your receipt there?
Milton: Yes, I do!
Man: Who in-who installed this?
Milton: It looks like Barry!
Man: Barry?
Milton: Yes!
Man: Don't have nobody that works here named Barry.
Milton: Billy, then! I can't read this chicken scratch hand writing- it looks like a second grader filled this form out! What kind of morons do you employ there?!
Man: Well, you ne-you need to, you need to calm down on your tone of voice.
Milton: You need to shut the hell up and be nice to me!
Man: I tell you what, buddy.
Milton: Yeah, what?!
Man: I'm about to knock your (censored) teeth out with a hammer. I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you holler at me.
Milton: Okay, I won't yell anymore! But I had this toilet installed-
Man: There's no such thing as a- uh, F-Y compliant whatever...the-there's nothing, there's no computer in the toilet.
Milton: No, I think that you're a bunch of imbeciles that are trying to scam the elderly!
Man: Ahh- I don't know what you're talking about, uh- and you have a good day.
Milton: No! Listen! Don't hang up on me! I want-
Man: What do you want me to do?!
Milton: I want you to get off your big ass and quit playing country music and come fix my toilet!
Man: I tell you what- you go call somebody else. Have a good day.
(man hangs up)
(ringback tone)
Man: Ma'am, there's no such thing as a Y2K compliant toilet!
Milton: No! I'm a sir! I'm not a ma'am! I'm in the bathroom-
Man: Well, whatever!
Milton: I'm in the bathroom right now and I'm gonna flush it for you- listen to the noise it's making! Are you ready?
Man: Oh, go ahead!
Milton: Listen to this!
(toilet flushes and siren blares)
Milton: Did ya hear that?! In the paper this morning, it said if you flush your toilet and it starts beeping that it's not a Y2K compliant toilet and it will not work after January-
Man: You need to call the CIA or somebody. Maybe-maybe it's the Russians got a bug in it.
Milton: What are you talk-are you making fun of me?!
Man: I'm telling you there's no such thing as a Y2K toilet.
Milton: You're a liar!
Man: Goodbye!
Milton: You're a liar!
(man hangs up)
(ringback tone)
Man: (censored).
Milton: Yes!
Man: Look! You keep calling me, imma have the police on you!
Milton: Don't hang up!
Man: Look, I don't have all day to talk to you, okay?
Milton: I would like a service call, please, to check out the toilet that you installed. It was okay when you wanted the money to put the new toilet in, you were just 'grab-grab-grab' for the 'check-check-check'! But now that I've got a problem after the sale, you don't wanna stand behind my toilet!
Man: Flika-Flaka Drive, huh?.....is that Drive or Street?
Milton: That's Lane. And it happens to be an Indian name.
Man: Is that right?
Milton: It's an Iroquois Indian name!
Man: Oh.
Milton: I want somebody to come out now within the next hour and yank-
Man: Well, what you want and what you gonna get's two different things.
Milton: I want you to send somebody out to yank this non-compliant-
Man: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We ain't gonna be pulling no toilets today.
Milton: No, yes you are!
Man: No we're not!
Milton: Yes you-
Man: Now you have a good day, I'm gonna hang up. I've got work to do. Bye-bye!
(Milton stammering, man hangs up)
(ringback tone)
Man: Hello, (censored).
Milton: I just got off the phone with the Better Business Bureau and I'm filing a complaint!
Man: Look....I don't know if you're drinking or what, but you need to go relax and chill out... 
Milton: No! You ne-
Man: If you keep calling me, I'm gonna call the police for harassing me.
Milton: That's it! You've forced me to come down there and poop on your head!
Man: You call here again, I'm gonna break your (censored) toilet over your head!
(man hangs up)
==Trivia==
*This is the second Crotchety call to focus on the infamous Y2K scare that took place during the final months of 1999 (the other being Y2K Survival Kit), centered around a computer programming bug known as the Y2K bug.
*Y2K compliance is basically the ability of a computer to be able to process the year 2000. During the Y2K scare, it was believed that non-Y2K compliant electronics would fail after January 1st, 2000 because of the Y2K bug and cause a kind of global blackout.
*The Better Business Bureau is an organization dedicated to critiquing businesses and their practices, usually to make them more consumer-friendly.
*Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZr-M-IJ0yg
Category:Prank calls