One If By Clam, Two If By Sea

One If By Clam, Two If By Sea
Horace sells the Clam to a British man who turns out to be a pu*.
Season: 3 Episode: 4
Total Episode Count: 32
Prod. no.: 2ACX19
Featuring: SpongeBob, Sandy, Nigel Pinchley, Plankton, Eliza Pinchley
Also Appearing: Horace, Tom, Fred, Pearl, Patrick, Squidward, Bob Bobber, Barbara Winsky, Greg the Weather Mime, Steve Bellows, Leiana Takanawa, Maria Jimenez, Karen, Demond Wilson, Nancy Fishly, Sally Smith
Musical Numbers: Life of the Wife
Plot: Flashbacks at the beginning establish that SpongeBob has been working at the toy factory and going to The Drunken Clam regularly since 1977.
A hurricane convinces the Drunken Clam's owner Horace to sell the bar, and an Englishman named Nigel Pinchley turns it into a British pu*. Upset over the loss of their favorite bar, SpongeBob and friends storm a British ship in an attempt to recreate the Boston Tea Party with beer.
When the pub mysteriously burns down last night, SpongeBob, Fred, Tom, and John are thrown in jail. The Bikini Bottom 5 Action News broadcast a picture of a giant burning city as the "artist's rendering" of the suspect. Sandy plans to trick Nigel into confessing that he torched his own pub for the dual goals of insurance money and send SpongeBob to jail, intending to have Nancy and Sally as witnesses. However, they were not there when he admits his crimes, but the representative of the insurance company was in his closet by coincidence and overheard everything.
Meanwhile, in a parody of the British musical My Fair Lady, Plankton tries to get Eliza, Nigel's daughter, to overcome her "common" Cockney accent and speak "proper" English, He wagers with Squidward that she will be a proper lady at her birthday party. At first, Plankton's efforts to improve her pronounciation are in vain, but eventually Eliza "gets it", and this is celebrated in the musical number "Life of the Wife", a parody of "The Rain in Spain". At her birthday party, Eliza does admirably, until she wets herself in front of everybody.
==Cutaways==
#Richard Jeni
#Benjamin Disraeli
#I Remeber Cecil
#Tron
==Trivia==
*This is the first time a hurricane happened in Bikini Bottom.
==Rating==
TV-14: DLS
==Gallery==
Usplp,dsplm.gif|French title card
Bbkt,n.gif|Japanese title card
ClpeA,Dpem.gif|Spanish title card
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