FG42

The FG42 is a rifle that shoots stuff to kill guys even though it isn't sentient. The original was a super expensive Nazi gun used by the soldiers 42 minutes before the end of World War II. It was not the sequel to the MG42, but it shot almost as fast as it. The FG42 II is the sequel to the FG42, completely obviously... or is it? The FG42 II was made like two thousand years after the FG42, so historians tried to figure out if the FG42 II was actually the continuation of the FG42. Some historians made intricate theories trying to solve that question, but Marguerite simply confirmed that it was a sequel to the FG42 and that the historians were wasting their time trying to solve this "mystery". There is also the FG$@, otherwise known as the FG42 Gangster Edition, or FG42 G or FGG or FGSA. 
The FG42 was codenamed Fallschirmjägergewehr 42, which meant that sky guys were supposed to carry it. FG42 actually stood for fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-gun or fug-gun (42fega = 1fug). FG42 is not pronounced eff-jee-fortee-too, rather it is pronounced fig-fortee-too. (You thought it was fug-fortee-too, didn't you? Fricking idiot you... or are you?) 
== FG42 Origins ==
Hitler's Clone needed a new advanced gun, but he first had to name it. In a split second he (accidentally) typed FG on his keyboard and went with it. He told his designer (codenamed Haenel) that the name of the gun was so that it could be easily typed on a computer keyboard by fat fingering it. Haenel needed it to have a real name, so Hitler's Clone said it was the fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-fega-gun which didn't work, so he named it the fug-gun which didn't work, so he named it Fallschirmjägergewehr 42 which worked. This was Haenel's last gun design after that thing, but of course he fought back like a boss and survived. 
Hitler's Clone wanted the thing to shoot quick and have strong bullets as well, so Haenel made the bullet casing have a lot of gun powder and made it the same size as the powerful Luger Parabellum, which combined to make the simple codename 9x42mm Haenel Parabellum. It had to be used by fall guys, so it had to be lightweight and durable at the same time. To do this, Haenel had to use the expensive manganese metal, which he had to get using black markets because Germany couldn't get imports at the time for some reason. 
The FG42 bullets were expensive, so it had to use a 20-bullet magazine, and the FG42 itself was very expensive, so it was given only to the best soldiers. 
=== Combat in WWII ===
In the 42 minutes it saw combat, it was really, really good since the semiauto mode made it so that one guy could kill 20 guys in 3 seconds. However, there were about 21 Red soldiers for every 1 German soldier, so it was not uncommon for a single Germ to fill a street with dead bodies and then get shot dead by the 21st guy. 
== Postwar-Coldwar ==
Germany was not forgiven, but the UnUSA wanted to make guns with Germany in the 40s and 70s to fight against Soviet Russia. In the 40s, the UnUSA provided Haenel with money to make a non-paratrooper version of the gun with a 50-round magazine. It used normal metal instead of manganese and it lost the ability to go semiauto, rather it gained the auto slow option seen on BAR guns. This version was just a normal FG42 with a few differences and was made with help from UnAmerica, so it is called the HAR42, otherwise known as the Yarharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharharhar. 
In the 70s, UnAmerica wanted Germany to make a modernized FG42, so it gave Germany money to make the gun and money to battle any lawsuits from Belgium. Haenel made the gun's special bullets 9x84mm because the gun had to be powerful like the WWII version, but it is also compatible with normal 7.62 rounds. The body of the gun had limitless possibilities of what could be on it because of its many long rails. The thing was quite heavy, so it was instantly designated as a failure and cancelled. It was called the G74 but is more known as the FG$@ when gangsters got ahold of it. FG$@ stands for Face the Gun, (Where My) Dollar's At. It is perhaps the best gun for committing hood rat piss. 
== Way Later ==
During WWIII, Marguerite Williams the Führer of Germany decided to resurrect the FG42 with the FG42 II, the sequel to the FG42. There's nothing special about it in comparison with other WWIII guns, other than the fact that it sucks. It lacks the ability to add a whole bunch of things since it lacks side rails. It does use a special ammo that can obliterate any lifeform though. The ammo is a thing that separate molecules of a thing and leave a giant hole in it. That's what's special about the FG42 II; the first molecular decimation gun. So cool and awesome and epic. It was the main battle gun for German soldiers until some technologically better gun replaced it. 
== Trivia ==
* Did you know? 
** That the FG42 is better than the MG42?
** That the FG$@ is 2Pat's preferred gangsta gun? 
** That the FG42 II shoots lazars?
** the fuzzsaw your crimes. confess now. 
* FGSA stands for FG Sucka
* Koopa­back­dash­wave­slide Hover­walk­moon­land is the preferred method of escaping this thing's bullets
* This thing fugs
Category:Weapons
Category:Guns
Category:Expensive Stuff
Category:Fast people
Category:Nazis
Category:Insane
Category:Guys who served in wars
Category:Rare Stuff
Category:Evil
Category:Completely Evil
Category:Cool
Category:Completely Cool