In Care of The Captain

== IN CARE OF THE CAPTAIN ==
=== By John Arthur Barry ===
From Chamber’s Journal 1899
 Among the saloon passengers of the Illimani, ere she was a fortnight out, little Miss Agnew had become quite a pet. "She was such a dear — so natural, so really “chic" said the ladies ; while the men enjoyed to the full her utter, or assumed, lack of conventionality. She was a fresh-colored girl of about eighteen, handsome enough, after a robust, dairymaid fashion, with full red lips, white teeth and black eyes, under a shock of curly hair, that shrank from no man's gaze. 
Miss Agnew had come on board at the very last moment, with an uncle and an aunt to see her oft ; also a note from the owners commending her to the captain's care. Popularly it was known that she was a rich squatter's daughter returning home after a long visit to England. Her sole occupation of one of the best berths in the ship, as well as the possession of plenty of spare cash, gave some reason to the rumor of wealth. It was also whispered that she' had been expelled from more than one fashionable school. But nobody seemed to think much the worse of her for that. 
This trip the Illimani happened to have a rather aristocratic passenger-list for Australia. Besides poor young Badegge, who was nobody's enemy but his own, there were an incoming governor and his countess ; another couple of stray peers and peeresses ; a rich baronet and his wife ; and several gentlemen, middle-aged and elderly, making the round voyage for their health's sake — that is, the sake of a long and uninterrupted steady drinking. And with these, at times, nothing lost, "Dolly," as she was called "tout court," would smoke a cigarette and toss off a glass of champagne; looked upon with a lenient eye by her female friends, not only on the plea of her being an “Australian tomboy," but for the sake of the little scandalous tit-bits she was able to retail to them afterward in the privacy of their cabins. 
At Naples, among others, there came on board for the second saloon a young Frenchman, apparently pretty ill with asthma; so much so, indeed, that he seemed able to do nothing else but lie in his deck-chair all day long covered up with rugs. Quite a curiosity, too, was this deck-chair, massive but light, folding up into a compact compass, curiously carved, and made of neither cane nor canvas, but of stout olive wood, with big bulging arms and a thick curved back. And Monsieur Deschamps seemed to set great store by it, for, always when the day was over and he walked feebly to his berth, the quartermaster carefully folded up the chair and carried it to its owner. At first people laughed. But "cranks" and "eccentrics" are so plentiful on such ships as the Illimani that far more "outre" things ceased to attract attention, and Deschamps and his chair soon became part and parcel of the daily and weekly monotony. 
Curiously enough among all the passengers there was no one with a sufficient knowledge of French to interpret between the sick passenger and the Illimani's doctor, or the stewards, or anybody. And this was awkward; for Monsieur Deschamps was unable to speak a word of any language but his own. This matter presently coming to Dolly's ears, she volunteered to "have a go." "I was," she said, "a couple of years at school at Rouen ; and if I can't patter their lingo, I reckon I'm due for the leatheriest medal on board this canoe." So, tripping across the bridge that separated the two classes, Dolly went up to the invalid and began — much to everybody's admiration — to discourse with eloquent volubility and gesture. Listening a minute, the Frenchman, appearing to recognize the real thing at last, sat up and waved his hands and shrugged his shoulders, and smiled with a delight and gratification beautiful to witness. And after this, nearly every day, Dolly went along and cheered the poor fellow up, interpreting his symptoms to the doctor and his wants to the stewards. 
In most ocean liners there is posted up somewhere a notice advising passengers to deposit their valuables with the purser for safety during the voyage, a small percentage being charged for the accommodation. Many people object to pay this; others are too lazy to go to any trouble ; others too careless. So that, very often, until something is missing, the caution is a dead letter. It was so on the Illimani. But one morning Dolly, returning from her usual visit to her French friend, found the saloon a scene of the utmost confusion — ladies running about with empty jewel-cases, stewards protesting, purser threatening, and the chief stewardess in hysterics. The Countess of Trebizond had lost a diamond necklace and a set of priceless pearls ; Lady Trotter de Globe was minus her family jewels, sapphires, opals and diamonds valued at £3,000; the Honorable Mrs. Monopole's diamond earrings (they were fashionable then), tiara and necklet were gone ; in fact, it appeared that nearly everything worth having was gone. There were a lot of paste and Palais Royal imitations — beautifully done — but all such had been rejected with the nice appreciation of an expert, or at least an intimate. And, to complicate matters, nothing was forced — every lock intact and the keys in their owners' pockets. The excitement and commotion was intense. The captain alone kept calm; and when the male relatives of the victims talked about suing the company, he suavely drew their attention to the notice aforementioned. Dolly was demurely sad, and condoled, even wept, with her aristocratic friends. Her own things, a set of pearls and a few diamond ornaments, she explained, had been in the purser's big safe from the commencement of the voyage. Her uncle had insisted on it. 
But who was the thief? 
Public opinion pointed to some one among the stewards. And the first thing done was to ransack the "glory-hole,” as their quarters were called. Nothing was found. Then "search law" was proclaimed throughout the ship, much to the indignation of the second and third classes. It took some considerable time to overhaul the eflfects of nearly four hundred people. Nor was it a pleasant matter, as the purser, the chief steward and their assistants discovered. Not a trace of the lost jewelry was to be found. But the captain grew anxious. He had been quite certain that the things would be found. Although he was not liable, the ship's reputation would be ruined so far as carrying passengers was concerned. And this was a serious consideration. Still, what more could he do? Then suddenly he remembered that Watson was waiting at Colombo to go on with him to Melbourne. If anybody could help it was Watson ! Wherefore those who troubled about the daily runs noticed that the Illimani was being cruising at almost top-speed across the Arabian Sea. In these days she was a decidedly uncomfortable ship within — suspicion writ large on every face of all her great company, each one doubtful of his neighbor, and all secretly watching, and, so it seemed, thinking about the reward offered by the victims and the executive of the Illimani — £500 — contributed to by captain and ship's boy alike, and very willingly. Dolly Agnew gave £ 10 to the fund ; and her friend. Monsieur Deschamps, when made aware of what was going on, insisted on putting down his name for £5. But nothing came of it. 
At Colombo — reached after a record run — there was indignation when it was found that the captain had stopped all shore-going, and also barred the usual crowd of dealers, jugglers, etc., from coming near the ship. 
Only one passenger came on board at Colombo — an old, gray-haired, gray-bearded man who walked with a stoop, and peered dimly at people through tinted spectacles. He was accepted as a tea-planter, an old friend of the captain's, going to Australia on business. Speaking little himself, Mr. Johnson was, nevertheless, a perfect godsend to the ship at large ; and into his ears was dinned by the passengers again and again the story of their losses and wrongs. 
"Well," asked the skipper a few days later as Mr. Johnson strolled into the former's stateroom, “any news yet?" 
"Not much," was the reply; “only that you've got at least one artist on board — one of the most skilful cracksmen in London — which is saying a good deal." 
"Which is he?" asked the captain. "Some fellow in the steerage, I suppose." 
"Not much," replied the other, laughing. "The only wonder is that he is not in the saloon here. It's the fellow in the second who gammons sick, and sits in the big chair all day." 
"Ha, ha I" laughed the captain ; "you're out of it this time, old man. That poor chap's a Frenchman — can't speak a word of anything else !" 
"Is that so?" replied the other calmly. "Well, in any case, he's the man who can tell you where the stolen stuff is." 
"Nonsense," said the captain. "He's never been forward the whole passage. Why, if it hadn't been for Miss Agnew talking to him he'd have had to stay dumb altogether !" 
"Fine-looking, fresh-complexioned, rather Jewessy, curly haired girl — lots of side and sauce — No. 2y, port side?" 
"Right," replied the skipper. "Australian native. She's in my charge. Knows her way about, though, too well to want any looking after." 
"H'm I" grunted his companion, lighting a fresh cigar. "You told me, I think, that you had searched the ship?" 
“ Every comer and every soul on board," replied the captain proudly. 
“Tchk, tchk I" said the other between tongue and teeth. "What a pity! Tony Jenkins is a genius, though! A commoner would have chucked the things overboard. Not Tony ; he's too much of an artist to stand any waste of that sort. Yes, I should say there was a chance. When you first broached the matter I thought it was only a bit of amateur aristocratic kleptomania. I see now that it's thorough business — business sweet and hot; a well-considered, long thought-out, cleverly put up job. Thank your stars, my boy, that I happened to be where I was, or you'd have lost your billet to a certainty." 
“Well, Watson — ^yes, of course, Johnson," said the captain, changing color as he thought of the fix he was in and saw no way out of, "there's the reward, you know. And " 
"Don't want a penny," replied the detective. "This is purely a little private affair between ourselves. I'm on official business, and shouldn't have meddled but for old acquaintance's sake. You did me a good turn once. I'll return it now — if I can." 
Next morning Mr. Johnson managed, casually, to have a talk with Dolly, who came up to where he sat in the sun, looking very old and feeble, to ask his opinion on the quality of the saloon tea, which, she averred, "wasn't fit for pigs to drink." Later, she confided to her friends that he wasn't a bad old josser, and that she rather thought he'd been a gay sort of a chappie in his day ; while, on his part, Mr. Johnson, removing the powerful magnifying glasses fie had worn throughout the interview, smiled in his beard and muttered, "The scar's there all right, but fainter than when I saw it last. Clever ! Clever's no name for it 1 No use looking through their berths, I suppose. However, I may as well have a try. I'll bet the stuff's neither there nor on their persons! If not, where then? A sum in induction à la' Sherlock Holmes!" And "Mr. Johnson," generally supposed to be the cleverest and keenest of all Scotland Yard, puckered his brows over the problem. During dinner he managed to slip into, and with practised hands ransack Dolly's berth. But he found nothing at all incriminating in the single cabin trunk, unless a bottle of hair depilatory and another of dye could be deemed so. The clothing was all of good make and quality, and as the intruder noted the carefully worked initials, “D. A.," on everything, he shook his head doubtfully. Under the circumstances a mistake was a very serious matter. And the Illimani was rapidly nearing the Australian coast. If he was to make a ''coup" he had no time to lose. Monsieur Deschamps occupied a deck-chair aft ; and while its occupant was at lunch in the second saloon on the following day, Mr. Johnson made as free with his belongings as he had done with Dolly's. And with a little more success. In the pockets of a pair of old trousers he found a tiny key with only one ward, at sight of which his eye glistened. “M-m," he muttered as he stepped out on to the empty deck ; “the rest of the bunch are overboard, I suppose. Overlooked this one, evidently. Didn't think Tony was so careless. But what's he done with the stuff? Sent it after the keys? No, I can't believe that, after going to so much trouble." 
One morning, listlessly observing the little procession emerging from the invalid Frenchman's cabin as usual — first, Monsieur Deschamps, walking very slowly and holding on tight to things in his path ; then the quartermaster, laden with chair and rugs, mounting up to the second promenade deck — an idea flashed across the watching detective's brain, and ere night he managed to have a chat with the quartermaster. 
“Yessir," said the latter, in answer to a question. "Poor chap, 'e thinks a lot o' that cheer. I've got to put it in 'is berth every night so keerful as if it were med o' glass. You see, it ain't no common cheer, that one." 
“Well, I'm ready," said Johnson to the captain shortly after this. ''You've been very good, and haven't bothered me much. Now I want your help. You must get the doctor to send for the Frenchman to the dispensary on some pretense or other. Then Miss Agnew must be called to interpret. Presently we two will drop in ; and then, well, if I'm right, you'll see some fun. If I'm not, there'll be wigs on the green. But I can't put it off any longer, although not as sure as I'd like to be. Once we get to Albany, the fat's in the fire; for I cannot wait to shadow people ; nor can you very well prevent the Westralian passengers from landing." 
As the captain and Mr. Johnson strolled into the dispensary that evening Monsieur Deschamps was speaking. “ Mais oui, Monsieur le docteur! " said he, “ je crois bien que, depuis que j'ai pris votre derniere mixture, je me fais plus de sante. " 
"He says," translated Dolly, "that since he took that last medicine he feels much better." 
"Hello, Tony, old man !" suddenly exclaimed the detective, who had been standing in one corner of the rather dim room. "I'm sorry to hear of your — your being so ill. How do you like the sea?" 
"Jim Watson I" shouted the sham Frenchman, as he stared from the clean-shaved, hawk-eyed, massive-jawed man before him to the gray wig, beard and spectacles on the deck. 
"And how's my little friend the Kid?" continued Watson, stepping to the door, and noting, with a breath of relief, the color fade out of Dolly's cheeks, and the familiar, hunted look he knew so well steal over both their faces. "No, you don't!" he continued, suddenly whipping out a revolver and presenting it at Tony, whose hand was quietly stealing round to his hip-pocket. The other laughed carelessly, and taking a cigar out of his case, lit it; while Watson, turning to the astonished skipper and doctor, said : "Allow me, gentlemen, to present to you Mr. Anthony Green, alias Jenkins, alias Deschamps, and a dozen others; and Master William Dawson, better known as The Kid, The Dinah, Young Dutch, etc. — the former, gentlemen, the leading artist of his profession ; the latter the best female impersonator of the day. Now, Tony, where's the swag?" 
"Curse you, Watson !" replied the elder of the pair calmly, but with an ugly look in his shifty gray eyes. "Find it if you can ! I won't help you I" 
"Same here !" exclaimed the "ci-devant" Dolly, with a laugh "And if any of those old cats in the saloon make a row, Tony, I'll tell some funny little stories I've picked up among 'em that will make 'em glad to leave Australia by the next boat." 
"Good boy !" said Tony approvingly. "Kept eyes and ears open, eh?" 
"You bet!" replied the lad, defiantly sitting back, crossing his legs, and puffing away at a cigarette ; regarded by the poor captain with a fascinated stare of amazement. 
 “Well, Jenkins, come now — the swag!" exclaimed Watson impatiently. 
"Find it," replied the other laconically. 
"All right," said Watson, playing his doubtful trump. "Captain, will you kindly have Monsieur Deschamps' chair brought in here." 
"The devil!" shouted Jenkins. "Never mind troubling. How did you find it out? All right; I pass. Watson, you've spoiled one of the best things of the century! Well, I suppose we can go now. I don't fancy anybody will bother either of us, from what the Kid's told me off and on." And he chuckled. "I suppose," he went on, "that we may as well keep up the fiction till we get to Albany, eh, Watson? But think of all my time and trouble and ingenuity wasted. Think of that lovely chair and its secret hiding-places. Hang it I I could almost cry over the thing, Watson." 
"Or shoot me," replied the latter, laughing grimly as he replaced his disguise. 
"Well, yes, at the moment," admitted the other. "But it's all over now. I never bother about spilt milk. You know that, Watson. All the sparklers shall be back before eight bells to-night, 'parole d'honneur.' Doctor, I feel so much better that I don't think I'll require any more medicine. Miss Agnew, I know I can trust you to smooth matters over with our aristocratic friends 'la bas.' Have you finished with us, Watson?" 
"Provisionally," replied the detective. "I don't suppose the captain here wants more fuss made over the matter than can be helped. And the doctor will keep silent for the ship's sake. I'm of Miss Agnew's opinion, that the ladies forward will be only too pleased to get their jewelry again. Of course, if we had long: to wait it would be different. But we shall be at Albany to-morrow; and that young scamp's presence among them won't matter much for one night more." 
"Look here, Watson," put in "the Kid," "if you're not civil I'll tell tales before I go yet." 
"But," stammered the captain, speaking for the first time, "I say, Watson, where's our guarantee? Of course, you may trust Mr. — um — ^Jenkins — er — Green, there, and — ^this er — young man, or girl, or whatever it is, and take their words. But I'd like something " 
"That's all right,' interrupted Watson cheerfully. "I know my mark. I'd trust Tony up to any sum, once he's given his word. Believe me, it will be all serene. And neither of them will blab. They've been fairly beaten for once at least." 
"Thank you, Mr. Watson, for your good opinion of me," said Tony, pausing at the door and bowing politely. “You will see, I hope, that it is deserved. “Au revoir ! " 
And, sure enough, some time and somehow, before next morning, each of the despoiled ones found her property returned intact. Explanations, of course, were demanded; but all at once the thirst for them dropped; and "Dolly" laughed mockingly at the glances of fear and abhorrence darted at her by whilom friends and confidantes. On all sides it was agreed "that for the sake of the ship and the captain" the affair should be hushed up. It was difficult ; but Watson, with the aid of a stowaway, who was working his passage as deputy-assistant fourteenth steward, and for a consideration acted as scapegrace, managed it. 
"Keep the chair, Watson," said Monsieur Deschamps as he went over the side at Albany. “It will remind you of the prettiest bit of work you ever did." 
Category:Chamber's Journal
Category:Barry