Water in the Glass

A well-known proverb states that an optimistic would say a glass is half full, while a pessimist would say it is half empty. What would people of different professions and walks of life say?
*The BANKER would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net worth in liquid assets.
*The GOVERNMENT would say that the glass is fuller than if the opposition party were in power.
*The OPPOSITION would say that it is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.
*The ECONOMIST would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.
*The PHILOSOPHER would say that, if the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half anything?
*The PSYCHIATRIST would ask, “What did your mother say about the glass?”
*The PHYSICIST would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided into two equal parts; one a colorless, odorless liquid, the other a colorless, odorless gas. Thus the cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.
*The SEASONED DRINKER would say that the glass doesn’t have enough ice in it.
Category:Language Humor