Headhunters 3: The Ultimate Eighteen

== Introduction ==
Head-to-heads. Intentional tanks. Collusion. It's Headhunters BABY!
== In Memorium: Bobecue Chicken ==
So much for the promise that every team would survive September. 
Bob and Chantel just met in the first ever Headhunters Head-to-head to determine who would survive and who would be the first to get the guillotine. After finishing in 20th place week one, Soul Survivor had the least to lose in challenging Bobecue Chicken (19th place). While Bob was willing and ready to offer an alliance, Survivor has Van Rossum blood coursing through her veins and couldn't turn down an opportunity to eat a W (win and wing) and make up for her poor opening performance. 
Soul Survivor was able to catch a couple boom performances and ride the wave to victory. Bobecue didn't get so lucky. His big names, like Metcalf and...Metcalf...couldn't meet projections. And the guys who popped a little last week, like Meyers and Van Jefferson, fizzled out in week two. Things already were looking grim on Thursday night when Bob had to watch Soul Survivor's Terry McLaurin beat up on his favorite NFL team, the New York Giants. While Chantel's Soul Survived, Bob's soul was crushed. 
It's always sad to see the first team go, but someone has to be the sacrificial head. While my intention for the Merger twist was to keep everyone playing into October and help strangers become friends, apparently some of us have a killer instinct that just cannot be tamed. As a result, poor Bob has mt an untimely end. At the very least we can say he went out in style. 
Bobecue Chicken: 
 
==Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)==
Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)
Team 	2021 Finish	2020 Finish	2019 Finish
Bobecue Chicken	20th (-3) 	17th (-7) 	10th
Bob better hope we don't add more teams, his finishes are getting worse and worse. 
==Dead Money ==
Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.
Dead Money
Dead Money	% of Total Eliminated Cash
$997 	99%
==Week Two Merge: The Fantasy Mattifesto==
This week we had our first big surprise of the Headhunters season. Both Matt managers decided to form an alliance and tank their teams in order to guarantee a bottom two finish. As the rules state, the bottom two teams have the choice to merge or fight. This is, of course, a legal form of collusion in Headhunters. But it inevitably has ruffled a couple feathers and I really shouldn't have to defend myself but I will: the rules are the rules, they've been vetted, they've been written out for everyone to see and use, and just because I run the league doesn't mean I don't get to play and strategize like everyone else. It's not like I haven't heard from literally half the other teams about conversations to do this exact same thing. And last but not least...this is HEADHUNTERS BABYYYY. 
Henry VIII was in a rough spot after a narrow 18th place finish in week one. Brother-in-law/partner-in-crime Last Coach Standing approached Commish Tuesday morning with a proposition: combine two below average teams to form an average team. Next step: world domination! 
I have to admit, I hesitated at first. There is always that little voice in the back of the fantasy manager's head that says "what if?" What if next week is the week all your players start being good? What if you look like the worst team but it's a mirage and you're the best team in disguise and if you just hang on to all your shitty players eventually you'll turn a corner? But the reality is that Henry may not have survived the initial phase of Headhunters, and it was better to go into a merge knowing the manager/players involved than to potentially be forced into a head-to-head against a superior opponent (RIP Bob). 
As for Last Coach Standing? He very well could have gone out this week even if he had not benched his team. Instead he gains several great players, including a TE1 who is outperforming Kittle, 4TD-gettin' Aaron Jones, and a strong QB option in Herbert. All players that fill needs that Coach won't have to bid on later. Plus, he gets a co-manager to strategize with and he gets slightly better odds at avenging his 2020 championship loss. 
So Coach and Commish are one, but there is still another week left where the bottom two teams will have a choice to make that will send shockwaves through the rest of the 2021 season. 
==Life Boat Needed: A Note from The Titanic==
Week three is the last time that the bottom two teams will need to decide whether to merge or go head-to-head. I know of at least one team out there looking for a co-manager to help boost his team the rest of the way, and that's Titanic. He posted the following message on the Yahoo message boards towards the end of last week:
As I write this, I fear I am a dead man walki—err, sailing.
What started as a promising voyage flush with top RB and WR talent has gone up in flames in the form of a flurry of injury torpedos. We’re taking on more water than we can handle and there are no hopes for repairs to the ship on the horizon.
I write this log as my last bit of hope, to request a lifeboat in the form of merging our great vessels into one. I can’t guarantee we’ll survive the voyage, but I do think we would be stronger as one.
Please take a look at our inventory cache and let me know if you’d be interested in combining forces. At the end of writing this SOS, I shall fire my flare gun at the moon and wait for your response (via trade).
Help me LOC Headhunters, you’re my only hope.
SJB 
If anyone wishes to contact FFDraftScott, they can obviously do so through Yahoo, or if they are looking to be a bit more incognito they can contact me and I can put you two in touch privately. Any communication with me about a merger for week three stays between us as I will operate under the capacity of The Commish, not a manager. 
==Tank Tie-Break==
If teams decide to pull the stunt that me and Coach pulled this week, it's fair game. HOWEVAH, if three or more teams tie with 0 points than we need to go to a tie-breaker.
The tie-breaker will be total points scored in 2021 (two lowest point totals of the season will be hit with the team up/showdown option). The other teams will survive, but not be able to merge. So you could decide to tank, but if you're not careful than you may end up with someone you're not expecting... 
==New Releases==
We may have cut two teams, but not a lot of new talent out there this week. That being said, there will certainly be more than $9 spent. 
#Austin Ekeler
#DK Metcalf
#Aaron Rodgers
#K.J. Osborn
#Braxton Berrios
As the winner of week 2's head-to-head, Soul Survivor got to steal any one player drafted outside the top-40 from Bobecue Chicken. She grabbed Kareem Hunt. 
==Week Two Bidding Results==
Week Two Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid	Next Highest Bid
JaMycal Hasty	Henry VIII 	$6 	$0 (@FFDraftScott AKA The Titanic)
K.J. Osborne 	Bobecue Chicken	$3 	None
Last Year's most expensive week two player: Joe Mixon ($500). Hasty falls just shy of that mark. 
==Money Spent Per Week==
With more teams than ever it should be very interesting to see how/when the money gets spent in the early goings. 
Money Spent Per Week
Week	Budget Spent 	Budget Spent (2020)	Budget Spent (2019)
2 	$9 (2 Players)	$1173 (12 Players) 	$1339 (7 Players)
TBD 	 	 	
==Week Two Results==
Week Two Results
Player 	Total Points
I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	249.61
Neck-Fix and Chill 	218.64
Beach McBungalow 	214.74
Out of Luck 	199.40
The Guilloteam 	188.18
Soul Survivor 	175.34
Return of the Mac 	168.35
The Titanic 	162.27
Shotti's Bugatti 	158.64
Ya Hate 2 See It 	141.70
Bad Boys 	141.29
Misc Emojis 	141.07
Hasta Laviska Baby 	137.60
It's Blitz! Track 2 	135.95
Pats a bitch 	134.30
CP 	133.75
Bobecue Chicken 	127.28
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	118.90
Henry VIII 	47.53
Last Coach Standing 	0
*Biggest Climber: Soul Survivor (^14)
*Biggest Faller: Mixon Beer with Liquor (v8)
== 2021 Draft Dodgers==
Team Results Based on Draft Position 
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Beach McBungalow 	ALIVE
2 	Return of the Mac 	ALIVE
3 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	ALIVE
4 	Bad Boys 	ALIVE
5 	Pats a Bitch (Steve Blackman's Nun)	ALIVE
6 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	ALIVE
7 	Henry VIII 	ENDANGERED
8 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	ALIVE
9 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	ALIVE
10 	Out of Luck 	ALIVE
11 	Soul Survivor 	ALIVE
12 	@FFDraftScott 	ALIVE
13 	Shotti's Bugatti 	ALIVE
14 	Last Coach Standing 	ENDANGERED
15 	Bobecue Chicken 	2
16 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	ALIVE
17 	The Guilloteam 	ALIVE
18 	Misc Emojis 	ALIVE
19 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	ALIVE
20 	CP 	ALIVE
==Kings of the Castle==
===1. I Can Dere-Lick My Own Balls===
Remember when Alvin Kamara had six TDs in week 16 last season? Derrick Henry did something very similar this week against the Seahawks. If you had him, there is a good chance you won your matchup. If you happened to also own Kupp, you could probably let your other players take the day off. So it's fitting that Dere-Lick not only survived, but put up an insane 249.61. In a 20 team league, I didn't even think that was possible. 
===2. Neck-Fix and Chill===
The lower you get in this lineup the spookier it becomes. Patrick Mahomes and Tyler Lockett and Chubb, wow this is a powerhouse. Courtland Sutton, okay pretty strong WR2. And then all of a sudden BOO! Alex Collins! AH! Halloween come early. And Dan Arnold...who? Any relation to Billy Arnold (very niche joke). Well, Chubb though that's cool. Anyway, the top half of this roster (the not spooky half) went OFF this week and that's all that matters.
===3. Beach McBungalow===
Many are asking if this is #NatesYear and the only person that should be worried about that is Nate. He is so hot in every league that it's for sure going to crash and burn all around him at some point. But not this day. This day, he is on top of the world and third from the top of the weekly standings. 
===4. Out of Luck===
Any time Papa does better in Headhunters than in the main League of Champions I know it grinds his gears because he doesn't exactly get or care about this league and yet he's been better in it by far than in LOC over the last two years. This week he had undrafted free agent Chester Rogers score 17.60 for him in a top-five finish while in LOC he had his 19th overall pick Allen Robinson score 10.80 in a loss. 
===5. The Guilloteam===
There is this weird dick measuring contest going on between Guilloteam and Beach McBungalow because Beach told Guilloteam he didn't know how to draft. So now every week all that Guilloteam cares about is outscoring Beach. It's one of those things that nobody cares about but I have to hear about it anyway so now you do too. 
==On the Chopping Block==
===19. Last Coach Standing===
Coach is only down here because of the intentional tank but it was probably the correct move. His optimal lineup put up just 138.48, dangerously close to the 133. 75 low water mark for the week and it assumes that he would have made all the right starts. Would Coach have started K.Raymond on MNF over K.Hamler Sunday? We'll never know for sure. All that matters is he survives and is stronger today than he was yesterday. 
===18. Henry VIII===
Thanks in no small part to Aaron Jones and his four TDs, Henry had enough to crack the top-10 this week. But how long could that have possibly lasted? Once again, the world will never know. I mostly want to take this space to talk about Jones's postgame interview when he said, with a smile, "I try to make every day my day." He lost his dad to COVID before the season and plays with a necklace containing some of his ashes. That's fucking cool, man. Tell your people you love them. #BiggerThanFantasy #NateStopBeingMadAtMeForTanking 
===17. Mixon Beer with Liquor===
The biggest beneficiary of the Matt Tank is the defending champ. Immunity Idol in his back pocket, Mixon Beer had just one player beat projection in week two. That player was Jared Goff, his last player to take the field. His WR situation is rough, with Robby Anderson/DeVonta Smith possibly being the worst aerial attack in the league.
===16. CP===
Rough week for the team that owns two of the top eleven all-time single season high scores in Headhunters. With Juwan Johnson, Mark Andrews, Hunter Henry, and Adam Trautman, I wonder if we're about to see the first ever four tight-end lineup in week three. 
===15. Pats a bitch===
Hanging tough in there with the flock of teams in the 130s, Pats a bitch will get his first shot at bidding for real players this week. Without a chance at bidding last season, it will be fun to see how much money he drops. 
==Average Scores of Eliminated Teams==
Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Played
Bobecue Chicken	130.12 	2
==Narrow Defeats==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
Bobecue Chicken	48.06 	2
==Rulers of the Kingdom==
2021 first place finishers:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Return of the Mac 	208.47
2 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	249.61
==Dungeon Dwellers==
2021 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:
Low Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Bobecue Chicken 	132.96
2 	Mixon Beer with Liquor	118.90
 
==Single Season Scoring Records==
Updated through the 2020 season. Will anyone be able to come close to the 3400+ point performances of CP or Blitz from 2019? As teams get eliminated their season will be added to the record books. 
All-Tme Single Season HH Point Records
Score 	Player 	Year
3428.76	CP 	2019
3402.18	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2019
3015.53	Mixon Beer 	2020
2997.67	The Guilloteam 	2019
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	2020
2743.25	@FFDraftScott 	2020
2733.07	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2020
2709.59	Mac 	2019
2422.98	Dere-Lick 	2019
2377.31	The Guilloteam 	2020
2285.51	CP 	2020
2282.91	Out of Luck 	2020
2046.35	LIVEWithIt 	2019
1941.63	Bobecue Chicken 	2019
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	2020
1736.99	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2019
1611.76	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2020
1512.91	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2020
1439.40	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2020
1357.00	Henry VIII 	2019
1238.56	Bluedevils 	2019
1132.61	Henry VIII 	2020
1116.98	Shotti's Bugatti 	2020
1055.63	Mac 	2020
1049.89	LIVEWithIt 	2020
975.59 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2019
717.82 	Out of Luck 	2019
713.12 	Dere-Lick 	2020
481.22 	@FFDraftScott 	2019
459.96 	Bobecue Chicken 	2020
286.36 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2019
262.69 	Bad Boys 	2020
260.24 	Bobecue Chicken 	2021
115.16 	Mixon Beer 	2019
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2020
==All-Time Combined Points Scored==
Updated through the 2020 season. As teams get eliminated, their updated totals will be added to the record books. 
All-Tme Combined Points Records
Score 	Player 	Years Played
6135.25	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2
5714.27	CP 	2
5374.98	The Guilloteam 	2
3765.22	Mac 	2
3249.90	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2
3224.47	@FFDraftScott 	2
3136.10	Dere-Lick 	2
3130.69	Mixon Beer 	2
3106.24	LIVE With It 	2
3000.73	Out of Luck 	2
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	1
2661.83	Bobecue Chicken 	3
2489.61	Henry VIII 	2
2414.99	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2
1898.12	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	1
1738.10	Bad Boys 	2
1238.56	Bluedevils 	1
1116.98	Shotti's Bugatti 	1
698.91 	Phillip's Team 	1
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun	1
==Remaining Budget==
Remaining Budget as of 09/21/21
Player 	Total Budget
The Guilloteam 	$1000
Return of the Mac 	$1000
Ya Hate 2 See It 	$1000
Shotti's Bugatti 	$1000
I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	$1000
Beach McBungalow 	$1000
Hasta Laviska Baby 	$1000
Pats a bitch 	$1000
Bad Boys 	$1000
The Titanic 	$1000
It's Blitz! Track 2 	$1000
Soul Survivor 	$1000
Misc Emojis 	$1000
Out of Luck 	$1000
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	$1000
CP 	$1000
Neck-Fix and Chill 	$1000
Last Matts Standing (Coach/Henry VIII)	$997
Bobecue Chicken 	0
==CONCLUSION==
Just a reminder, for week three the bottom two teams will need to decide to:
A.) Merge in week four
B.) Go head-to-head in week four, with the winner stealing one player drafted after the second round and the loser being eliminated
After that, Headhunters will have a few weeks of single elimination before reintroducing the Wheel of Fate for two double eliminations and a non-elimination week throughout the middle of the season. 
We love to try new things in Headhunters, and there is always going to be change and twists and some work and some won't work and that's what is supposed to be fun about the league. Hope you all are enjoying the season so far and happy hunting!