Rowley and the horrible clowns

231.Rowley Jefferson lay in bed at midnight, unable to fall asleep. He turned his gaze to his snoring dad and dozing mother beside him, as well as his sleeping pets scattered on the floor. One of his baby rabbits let out a series of high-pitched screams, evidently disturbed by a nightmare. "EEEEEEEEE!" it cried out.
Feeling restless, Rowley decided to venture outside for a walk on his own. He slipped on his Percy Pig underpants, not the most appropriate choice for an 11-year-old boy, even on a hot January night. As he strolled along, he noticed a group of people approaching. To his surprise, one of them grabbed him and exclaimed, "Hello, Rowley! Remember me? I'm Nasty the Clown!"
Nasty handed Rowley a clown mask and insisted he become one of them. He introduced Rowley to his fellow clowns - Mean, Horrid, Hurtful, Blood, Murder, PDFL, and Lance. Nasty explained that each clown possessed their own unique and, quite frankly, nasty power.
With a mischievous grin, Nasty demonstrated his power by reaching out his arms and grabbing an unsuspecting man walking home from work. He swiftly ripped out the man's intestines and skillfully manipulated them into the shape of a balloon dog. He graciously handed it back to the man, who tragically bled to death.
Mean, living up to his name, picked his nose and flicked a booger toward the children's hospital. To everyone's horror, the booger detonated upon impact, vaporizing anyone in its vicinity. The children's screams pierced the night air, but it was too late.
Horrid revealed his grotesque ability to stretch his lips to unnatural lengths. Spotting a woman pushing a baby stroller, he engulfed her whole, absorbing her into his nightmarish body.
Hurtful, not one to hold back, grew a total of 67 fists and mercilessly pummeled 67 innocent children on their delicate noses. Blood, his power to play with life's crimson essence, accidentally pricked his finger with a toothpick, causing a torrent of blood to flow forth. Ingeniously, he constructed an impenetrable hotel out of the drying blood, trapping its guests inside.
Murder lived up to his menacing moniker by casually stealing a cake from a local bakery, leaving a trail of destruction and shattered dreams in his wake.
PDFL, true to their digital nature, transformed into a walking camera and infiltrated someone's shower, secretly capturing compromising photos for their twisted collection.
Lance, known for his quirky power, transformed all the drinking water within reach into an effervescent sea of Pepsi, leaving everyone craving caffeine and suffering the consequences of the sugar rush.
Lastly, Rowley, or rather Smelly, as he was aptly named by Nasty, possessed a peculiar power. He discovered it when a group of rude teenagers passed by, taunting him with their insolence. Channeling his abilities, Rowley let out a massive bubble-inducing fart, encapsulating the obnoxious teens. Helplessly, they floated up into the endless expanse of space, never to be seen or heard from again. To make matters worse, Rowley had an additional power to inflict upon others - the gift of excruciating kidney stones.
After an eventful night of chaos, the vile clowns bid each other farewell, promising to reconvene the following week. Little did they know that their sinister alliance would endure for the next trillion and three years. They only missed one meeting due to Lance falling ill, but it hardly mattered to the wicked troupe. With their twisted minds and boundless creativity, they continued their reign of absurdity and destruction.