Chanukwanzaa Caroling - A Fun-Ball Story

==RaNdOmNeSs WaRnInG.==
This will go in unpredictable directions.
This is because anyone, and I repeat, ANYONE, may add a line/verse to the story/song.
Prepare to be possibly weirded out.
==STORY-START. CHAPTER ONE-And now, we sing==
Lazro: So, are you all ready to go out and SING SOME CAROLS TO RANDOM PEOPLE THAT WE DON'T EVEN KNOW!?!?!?!?!11!/!/1!?1?11/!?1!/!/1/one?!?1!?/1?1!?!?/eleven?!/1?1?!1slash?!@1\132|C||r3\tf4;5lyfer;hyjre;vgfd,ccheeseklth43ofqnwye986ol4tlerwr43k623t'F#$@%TS%$@*^D43Rs538oj4jrfeutf6kt
Crickets: Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.
Lazro: GOOD! That's a good idea, crickets! That's a very good idea for a song! Thank you crickets! CRICKET AWESOMPENESS! LET'S ALL CONGRATULATE THE CRICKETS!!! CRICKETS HAVE THE BEST IDEAS EVER NEVER QUESTION THEM-*PAP*
David: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Lazro: DAVID! YES! THAT'S GOOD! THERE ARE MORE THAN CRICKETS ON MY CAROLING TEAM. Now, who else is going to sing with the two of us?
Crickets: Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.
Chilled: Chill.
David: A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z. Now I know my Q-M-E's. WHAT NOW?
Revelian comes out of his castle with a M16 rifle.
Revelian: GET OFFA MY LAWN YOU DAMNED KIDS!
He shoots and kills all of the crickets.
Lazro: DAMNIT.
Chilled: Chill.
Samuel: Whats going out there?
Samuel: Oh, I see.
Samuel: Wow, chill down, bro. Let's chill about it and chill some tea while we are chilling about this chilling problem.
David7015: *Gets ZE SAUNG BEWK* I think you'll need this, Lazzy! Here, catch! *Throws HEAVY Book*
Lazro: *Easycatch.*
Lazro: So, lemme see...
Lazro: Ah! Here! This looks good!
Lazro: So, everybody gather 'round, we're gonna go to...
Lazro: *Blindly points to map*
Lazro: CAAGR(98)'S HOUSE! *Is obviously pointing at Revelian's land*
===THE FIRST SONG-===
(To "The Twelve Days of Christmas")
ON THE FIRST DAY OF GHOSTMAS, BLOCKHEAD TOOK FROM MEEEE-
A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE
ON THE SECOND DAY OF GHOSTMAS, BLOCKHEAD TOOK FROM MEEEE-
TWO PICTURE BOXES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE
ON THE THIRD DAY OF GHOSTMAS, BLOCKHEAD TOOK FROM MEEEE-
THREE TONGS OF IRON, TWO PICTURE BOXES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE
ON THE FOURTH DAY OF GHOSTMAS, BLOCK-
Revelian kicks his castle door open again.
Revelian: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU FUCKING CAROLERS TO SCRAM!
He pulls out a bazooka and blasts them all. (KILLUSAWL?)
==CHAPTER 2-WE ALL HAVE NOW FIRED LAZRO AS OUR MAP-READER==
A few hours later, the blackened, burnt, and otherwise mutilated gang trudges off to their next house, which just happens to be Hankvi's home.
Lazro: Well, how was I to know that I was holding the map upside down?
David: There was a GIANT RED ARROW saying THIS WAY UP, STUPID, that took up about A THIRD OF THE MAP!!!
Lazro: Well, I thought that was a landmass! ...a red, oddly shaped landmass nonetheless, but still! Anybody could make the mistake! Even Poisonshot! Or Waldo!! Right?! RIGHT?!?!
Meanwhile...
PS: no,holds the atlas wrong!
Waldo: Ah. Thanks you.
BACK AT WHEREVER THEY ARE
Lazro: There definitely was NOT an example of my idiocy. There was NOT.
*Perspective Switch*
Sixevestation (The Treant) was minding his own business just staring at the black abyss of a sky and chattering with the "weapons-for-limbs" friends (Axel and Christopher):
Sixevestation: *Growls* WHAT IS UP, GUYS?
Christopher: Bored.
Axel: ....
Chris: Still shy, huh? It's okay, I have nothing to talk about anyway.... except for my dad.
Six: ???
Chris: Yes, ever since master Hankvi was busy in another of his projects, William, or my dad, started running around the hive thinking he is king.
Axel: .... H-h-h-how come?
Chris: Just between you and me, I've heard pets talking about how he is such a bastard.
Sir William: *Scolding heard from inside the hive* HAST I NOT TOLD THOU YE CAN'T HAVE YE FLASK?! THOU SICKEN THEE!
Chris: Yes, just like that. If he heard me saying that, he will tear off my sword off the leg.
Six & Axel: ....
Chris: Back into our watch. Six, can you sense anything?
Six: *Senses the cavern echos*
Chris: Yes, there's no way there will be anything in these caver-
Six: *Jumps and stomps in suspense*
Chris: What? What is it?
Zipline (the Tree): *Awakes from his sleep* ...what? Is it morning already?
Zip: *Picks the brainwaves of Six and translates them* There are abnormal sounds in these caves. Go check.
Axel: .... I-I-I-I'll do it.
Axel: *He approached to the opening of the cavern and heard some mumbles of an unknown source. He then ran back to Chris*
Chris: What was it. Bats?
Axel: .... N-n-n-no. There will be.... visitors.
Chris: Then I'll inform our master right away. *He walks rather slowly to Hankvi's study*
Gates: *Open*
Chris: *Still walks towards the elevator to the study*
Gates: *Close*
Elevator: *Lowers Chris, and stands in front of the "Highb100d", informed*
Hankvi: What is it? I'm kind of busy.
Chris: Expect some "visitors".
Hankvi: .... Alright. I'll be on my way. And please tell William to be pacified. He brings me terrible holes in my think pan.
Chris: On my way, master. *Walks to the elevator*
Elevator: *Raises Chris to the ground floor*
Chris: Father!
S. William: Ah! How art thou, son?
Chris: There will be visitors, so I want you to be calm.
S. William: Are ye sure they are not intruders?
Chris: Chill, father. They are not. They are the master's friends.
S. William: And???
Chris: *SIGN* It is the master's orders.
S. William: Splendid. *Flies off to his dear sweet wife*
Gates: *Open*
Chris: *Steps outside*
Gates: *Close*
Chris: Affirmative. Our master will come out soon.
Six: *Cheers by stomping*
Axel: .... H-h-h-hooray.
==CHAPTER 3-PERSPECTIVE SWITCH==
The gang walks up to the gates.
===THE SECOND SONG===
(To "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas")
It's beginning to feel a lot less like Christmas.
We're all blackened and burnt.
And do you know whose fault it is?
It's HIS FAULT, it's HIS,
Now EXPLAAAAAIN YOUUUUURSELLLLF!
Lazro: Uh, it was an honest mistake, right?
A mistaaaake for anyooooone,
I was holding it upside down,
Ha ha, what a clown...
... Please doooon't kiiiill meeeeee...
*SONGCUT*
Revelian warps next to Lazro and smashes him in the face.
Revelian: MY FAULT? IT WAS YOU CAROLERS THAT FUCKING DECIDED TO COME AND SING IN FRONT OF MY CASTLE!! BAH HUMBUG!
Revelian warps off.
Lazro: HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN THAT CHRISTMAS IS SUPPOSED TO BE JOYOUS?! ARGH.
==CHAPTER 4-THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION IS YES.==
Lazro and the group of carolers trudge on, getting pelted with snowballs, taunted, and some members even quit. By the end of the day, they had gotten one tarnished coin and one black stone.
Lazro: ... And that's only because a guy threw it at me.
David: But look what I've got! Ahahahahahahaha! *Holds up gold*
Rider: *Licks Gold; paint comes off* Yum.
David: Whaaa-?
Samuel: A black stone, hmmm...
Samuel: I'm gonna keep it...
Snow fairy: Lalalaaaa, lalalalaaaaaaa, la-
Snow fairy gibs rain down upon the gang.
Revelian: THAT'LL FUCKING TEACH YOU! *doorslam*
Samuel: I knew that one day my body (which produces more heat than other people) would be useful!
Samuel: *Removes jacket(s) and bounces around, wearing a t-shirt*
Samuel: Apparently the rest are not cold-resisting like me...
The gang goes to their final stop, the Adoption Center. Blockhead, as he sometimes does, sits in front of it.
Blockhead: Hey! Do you like my new shoooooooes? Shoooooooooooooooes?
Blockhead is not wearing shoes.
Lazro: Just walk by, don't react, and we won't get destroyed too badly.
They walk in, with only a few serious wounds.
===THE THIRD SONG===
(To "Away in a Manger")
Awaaaay in the Bahamas, the family rests,-
But before they continued to sing, some sort of a "hole" appeared on the floor. It then released some sort of an object upwards, only to land with a loud "thud".
Lazro: What was that?!
The object then rolled on to him, and picked up the object.
Lazro: Is this... a bottle of Faygo?!
David: Whoa. Is that a note written there?
Lazro: Seems to be. Hmm... let's see.
 Sorry for the late donation gift. I was having troubles in
 sleeping. I've sent it via the karma portal, which means
 it can end up ANYWHERE. So basically it'd be a miracle if
 you received it. Happy Holidays, Hankvi
 
 P.S. Thou served thee well. Goodbye, me flask! ~Sir William
Lazro: ...
Lazro: Hey, it's not the largest Holiday MiRaClE ever, but at least it's better than nothing.
Everyone: YAAAAAAY!!!
===AND SO, THEY STARTED SINGING THE FOURTH SONG===
(To an edited "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing")
GLOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOO-OOOOOOO-OOORIA!
SING A SONG OF FUUUUUUUU-UUUUN BALL!
GLOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOO-OOOOOOO-OOORIA!
SING A SONG OF FUUUUUUUU-UUUUN BALL!
HARK THE HERALD whatever Jast is supposed to beS SING
PS: angels BLUH! *SHOT*
Giorgio Tsoukalos: Replace the word "angel" with "egseterrestrialz" and you ha-*SHOT*
LD: *Holsters revolver* GLORY TO THE CAPS LOCK KING
Everyone: PIECES OF EARTH AND SPICES MIIIIILD
THIS CAPS LOCK PARTY SURE IS WILD
Suddenly, a flaming kitten falls from the sky and kills everything. No, I mean everything. EVERYTHING.
LD: That was a horrible movie. Maybe it was a bad idea to interrupt that song to watch it.
?: But there's a SPACE CATS II!
LD: OH BOY REALLY- Wait. Who are you?
Someone I Dunno Lol: I have no idea!
It then jumped off a cliff and left behind a giant bag of Blue Stones and some Gold.
Samuel: *Takes the HEAVY bag. It forces so much that the bag was sent flying out and came back to smack him. In fact, the bag did a complete rotation around the Earth.*
Samuel: Ugh, I should use less strength potions...
FlAAAASHBAAAAAAACK-
(AND SO, THEY STARTED SINGING THE FOURTH SONG)
Samuel: Ugh... I'm tired. I will take a break... *Goes away*
Samuel: *Finds a potion*
Samuel: Ohhh... whats this thing?
Samuel: Oh, it's a Strength Potion! I'll keep it.
UNFLAAAAAAAAAAAASHBAAAAAAAAAACK-
Samuel: So, what are we doing now? Singing?
David: Where was I?
Samuel: Dunno.
Samuel: Ohhh... a screen?
Samuel: What it could be?
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 CONNECTION LOST
Samuel: Friends, I must leave for some time. The pets gotten a surprise for me and I must see what is it.
Samuel: ECAST!
Samuel, within less than a BILLIONTH OF SECOND, disappears, with a giant blast of wind.
FLASHBACK ENDS (I THINK)
==CHAPTER 5 (DERP)-Going home==
Lazro: So, now that we've annoyed the heck out of everyone, it's time to go home and rest up.
Lazro: Oh shoot, I forgot!
Lazro: BLOCKHEAD IS OUTSIDE!
Blockhead: *BURSTS INTO THE AC!*
Blockhead: Hey! Hey! Do you like my new shooooes?!
Lazro: THAT'S A REVOLVER BLOCK-*SHOT*
David: Gimmie that *Snatches Gun*
David: Now what does this d-*SHOT*
Blockhead: You're the stupid! No, you're the shut up!
Conscience: Ugh, I just dunno anymore. GO KILL YOURSELF FOR ALL I CARE
Chilled: *To Blockhead* Chill.
Suddenly, they find a chat machine lying on the ground, with a sign which says: Use your HS, Lazro. Signed, S17.
Lazro: Feh, I'm going to go over here to use the bathroom.
So Lazro walks off.
Samuel gets beaten up or something.
==Chapter 6: Again caroling...==
Next day, Samuel comes to somewhere, all beaten out. He waits the others to come.
Samuel: Ugh, someone should be more careful next time...
Samuel: ... the other guy! *removes his beaten-out Samuel costume to reveal that he is all okay*
Samuel: *Falls asleep*
David comes in.
David: Sooo... What are we exactly doing?
David: And why are you asleep?
Lazro: !!!
Lazro: We forgot one place!
Lazro: BLOOD MANSION The public caroling at the ferris wheel!
David: ...
David: Then let's go! *Starts walking*
Blockhead: Hey! Hey! I found a new shoe! Hey! It's a looooooooong met-al, explodey shoooooe!
*BAZOOKA BLAST*
The once again blackened, burnt, and otherwise mutilated gang makes their way to the ferris wheel.
But then Revelian pops up and grabs Samuel.
Revelian: SO IS THIS ANOTHER COSTUME?!
Samuel: N-No!!
Revelian: AM I GONNA HAVE TO USE MY SWORD TO FIND OUT?!?
Samuel: OH GOD NOT THAT.
Blockhead: I WILL throw a radish at you!
Blockhead throws a radish at Revelian. It bounces off his head. Revelian simply gives Blockhead a look of unamusement.
Revelian: COME WITH ME TO HELL!!!
Revelian then warps off the real Samuel.
Lazro: Well that was random. Great, now we lost Sam.
Blockhead: MIDGET DAY PARADE.
So they all go to the ferris wheel.
When they get there, they stop in front of it. Its freezing cold, and no one's there.
David: UGH. Lazro, why did we go here? This place is abandoned!!
Lazro: ...
Suddenly, Revelian warps in and throws Sam on the ground. He is beaten, bruised, burned, and generally PWNED. Revelian warps off, laughing.
Samuel: UGH. WAIT, WHY ARE WE HERE AGAIN?!
Blockhead: I found another shoe! *Launches bazooka*
The gang is again mutilated.
Samuel: THAT'S IT. I'M GOING HOME. SCREW THIS. ECAST.
Samuel vanishes in a gust of wind.
Lazro: Ugh. I knew this was a bad idea.
Lazro: We have to sing though, it's part of our job.
Lazro: Whatever it is.
==Chapter 7- Because it's our job==
The few people who are still singing are, coincidentally, a soprano, an alto, and a bass.
However, this does nothing to the gang's mood, and they line up and try to look somewhat okay about everything.
===SONG NUMBER WHATEVER===
(To ohGPInevermind)
Laaaa...
Laa...
Laaalaa...
===END OF UN-SONGISH SONG===
Lazro: You know what? I think we, need some time to ourselves.
Lazro: Go play a game, do something else...
Lazro: THE HOLIDAYS ARE RUI-
David: Finally! Some free ti-*Steps off random cliff* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!
Chilled: *Watches David fall from the bottom of the cliff*
Chilled: Chill? *David lands on top of him*
David: Yes! Thank you. You saved m-*Earthquake* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!
Ecast: What the heck is that?!
David: Where did that come from?! And why is Samuel d- *lands on Ecast*
David: Er...
David: Why is Chilled walking a Pop Tart Cat Thingy?
Chilled: Chill. *Everyone appears with papers*
Lazro: Shenanigans are coo-*SHOET*
Blockhead: *holding a shoe* HEY! HEY! LOOK AT MY SHOE, RED MAN! HEY RED MAN! LOOK AT MY SHOE!
Samuel: ARGH! If it were Koala... no he's dead, but if he came back as a zombie- *SHOET STORM*
Suddenly, it's raining shoes.
Samuel: Guys, I must do my job right now! Ecast!
Samuel vanishes in a gust of wind. Suddenly, the gang finds a small TV, with the Weather channel. They start sitting as they see Sam talking about weather.
On the TV...
Samuel: Hello everyone! Currently, the temperature is of 68°F (20°C for those who live in Canada, including myself), and currently it is RAINING SHOES! Get yourself protected by something...
Back at real life...
Samuel appears with a gust of wind.
Samuel: So, I've done the current weather. So, yeah, IT'S RAINING SHOES!
Blockhead: PARADISE OF SHOES! PLENTY OF SHOES! SHOESSTORM! YEEEAH!
Samuel merely facepalms.
David: I knew this would come in handy. *Releases Rider*
Rider: Potatoes. *Paradise Gleam* *Eats all the shoes*
David: So...
Samuel does a giant facepalm. So giant that he got himself falling on the ground.
Samuel: There is a problem...
David: What problem?
Samuel: I've put a potato mine into the pile of shoes, thinking that someone of yours would walk in it, but it appears that Rider eaten the pile of shoes, and the potato as well. Rider will suffer from a potatastic explosion in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
Rider exploded into a potatastic explosion!
Samuel: THIS IS JUST AWESOME! LOOKS LIKE I COULD EAT POTATO CHIPS AND POTATO FRIES RIGHT NOW!
Samuel: Ecast!
A table, a pile of chips covered with salt, a pile of fries covered with ketchup and some napkins appears in no time. All the potato in the ground also vanishes in no time.
Five minutes of pure eating later...
Samuel: It was great!
Samuel walks slightly away, dropping a pineapple on the ground, and seems to play a tower defense game composed of monkeys, balloons and, again monkeys on his small laptop, sitting on a tree.
David: You've underestimated Rider. Rider is alive. Your comments have insulted Rider. *Rider Appears*
Rider: *Throws a sticky potato*
David: That potato will explode soon. It has 1/10th the power of a nuclear bomb. And that's why I'm going. *Get a Potato* *Throws it up*
David: Also, that potato, you can't get it off. Learn to not to mess with Rider and his potatoes. Bye. *Attaches string to Rider* *Rider goes up and then back to somewhere, not Samuel*
==CHAPTER 7-FOOOOOOOOOM==
*BOAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*
There is suddenly an extremely large crater in Samuel's castle.
Sweet Bro: I TOLD YOU BOUT THOSE POTATOES BRO!
Sweet Bro: TOLD YOU DOG
Samuel gets VERY red, with smoke coming out from his ears, and his right eyes blinks with amazing speed.
Samuel: I WAS NOT TRYING TO GET RID OF RIDER! IT WAS JOKE SO SOMEONE WOULD STEP ON IT AND RECEIVE A PILE OF POTATO ON HIS FACE, BUT IT SEEMS THAT RIDER ATE IT! IT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL, SO NOW, LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
Samuel takes the pineapple and threw it at David. Suddenly, the pineapple explodes. It seems to be an Exploding pineapple from BTD3, 4 and 5. LOL! That was a pineapple-tastic explosion!
Samuel: Reminds you something?
Samuel get back its original colour, and regains its normal state.
Samuel: This is today's lesson: Do not accuse people that they did something without a proof!
Samuel: ECAST! QUICKY!
Samuel's castle gets fixed in no time, and the giant crater is no longer there. It seems that they covered the crater with some earth at impossible speed.
Ecast: <Sonic>YOU'RE TOO SLOW!</Sonic>
Samuel: Why are you saying that?
Ecast: Sorry. I love playing Sonic the Hedgehog.
Samuel: Nevermind.
David: *Facepalm* I didn't throw the potato, Rider did.
David: So you should be lecturing Rider, not me. He's playing Sonic with Ecast.
Lazro: So...Uh...
Lazro: SURPRISE GIANT NUKE
*FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*
THE END
Problem?
Samuel: Nope, I don't have any.
WTF!?
*Curtains Close*
*Curtains Open*
Random Narrator: Now, a duet from Chilled and Rider!
===THED DUET (SBAHJ STYLE?) (No.)===
Chilled: Chill chill chill chill, chilla chill chill chilled.
Rider: Potato Potata, Patata Potato, POOOOO-
Chilled: Chilllllllllllllllll.
Rider: PoTaTo pOtAtO.
Chilled: ChIlL cHiLl.
Rider: tato po, po, po, po, po, po, tato!
Chilled: CHILL.
Rider: POTATO!
Chilled/Rider: Chillapotato...
Rider: To.
Chilled: illeD.
Chilled: CHILLLLLLLL
Rider: POTATOOOOOOOO!
*Curtains Close*
LD: AND GOG BLESS US EVERYONE
THE END?
Nope, problem? Else, GET OVER IT!
*Curtain opens*
Samuel: Sam, Sam, SamSamSamSam, SamSam SamSam SAMMM!!!
Samuel: Sam, Sam is the best, SamSam is the BESSSST!
Samuel: Sam, Sam is the loved, SamSam is the loved!
Samuel: Sam, Sam is the friendly, SamSam is the friendly!
Samuel: Sam, Sam is the perfect, SamSam is the PERFECT!
A shoe flies out from the audience(?) and bashes him in the head. A voice yells out "SHOE SALE! HALF PRICE!"
*Curtain closes*
*Curtain re-opens*
Samuel: HEY, WHATS THE BIG IDEA!? DON'T CLOSE WHEN I DIDN'T FINISHED MY SONG!
Samuel check his paper with all the words. The song is already finished.
Samuel: The song is fini-
*Curtain closed*
Suddenly, we hear an angry voice which seems to be coming from behind the scene, and another voice.
Voice: HEY, WHY DO YOU CLOSE THE CURTAIN WHEN ITS NOT FINISHED
Another voice: It would take a lot of time.
Voice: WHAT!?
Suddenly, behind the scene, we hear explosions, glass breaking, punches, kicks, mass destruction, anything violent.
The curtain opens to see that the whole scene is in ruins, and S17 is also there.
Samuel: Sorry, I had to settle something with the guy who's controlling the curtains. <LD>Hooth...</LD>
Lazro: Looks like we're outta time, folks, so for our big finale...
Lazro: NUKE-*FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
Revelian: THIS IS FUCKING
STUPID.
TEH END FORZ REALZ.
Also, read the "sequel": Days of Chanukwanzaa - Another Fun-Ball Story
Category:Stories
Category:Phi Timeline