Transcripts/Lesson Zero

:Luna: Quill.
:Spike: Check.
:Luna: Parchment.
:Spike: Check.
:Luna: Extra ink.
:Spike: Check.
:Luna: Extra, extra ink.
:Spike: Check.
:Luna: Is that everything on the checklist?
:Spike: Yep.
:Luna: Great. Now that we've completed the checklist of things we need to create a checklist, we can make my checklist of the things I have to get done by the end of the day. Ready?
:Spike: Ready!
:Luna: Item one: create a checklist of the things I have to accomplish by the end of the day.
:Spike: [sighs]
LMB theme song
:Luna: How are we doing, Spike?
:Spike: Let's see... We've already dropped off your cape at the cleaners, returned the blackboard you borrowed from Miss Nate, and ordered new parchment and quills from the stationery shop...
:Luna: Hmm... Seems like we just placed an order for those a few days ago.
:Spike: Can't imagine why we go through so many of them.
:Luna: Sounds like we're ahead of schedule. What's next?
:Spike: Cupcakes!
:Spike: Whoa...
:Luna: Uh, I only ordered twelve.
:Mrs. Cake: Oh, I know, dear, but I had an extra. So I thought I'd make it a baker's dozen.
:Spike: Uhhh-no!
:Luna: Oh, that was very thoughtful of you. It's just some of the icings from the extra cupcake are getting all over the one next to it. See?
:Mrs. Cake: Ohh... sure...
:Luna: It's just that I'm planning on sharing these at a picnic later and I don't want anybody to feel like someone else is getting more icing.
:Mrs. Cake: Oh, no... of course not.
:Luna: Not to worry, I'll just move some of this one to... hmm... I think I may have scooped too much... oops! Now those two have more. Let's just try this again... Hmm, no, that won't do. Let me just... hmm... put some here, and... no, that's not right. A little more on this one, a little bit... and wait... I'll just... ooh, a little bit here, and here, and... perfect!
:Mrs Cake: Hmm, oh yes... much better...
:Luna: Okay, time to tackle the next item on our— oops! Looks like we're going to have to add a 'baby dragon bath' to our list.
:Spike: [slurp]
:Luna: Very efficient! And a little bit gross.
:Spike: Eh.
:Spike: Looks like that's everything!
:Luna: Almost everything.
:Spike: "Triple-check checklist to make sure we didn't miss anything when we double-checked the checklist!" Uh... check! Ugh... I've been holding that quill so long, I've got a claw cramp! Well, good thing we don't have anything to report to Princess Finlandia this week... I don't think I could write another word!
:Luna: We haven't sent a letter to our mother this week?!
:Spike: Why? Is that bad?
:Luna: Bad? BAD? Of course, it's terrible! I'm supposed to send Mom a weekly letter telling her about a lesson I've learned about friendship! Not every other week, not every 10 days, every... single... week!
:Spike: Huh?
:Luna: Ohh... Where's my calendar, where's my calendar?!
:Spike: Where it.. always is?
:Luna: When did we send the last one?
:Spike: Last... Tuesday?
:Luna: And today is...
:Spike: Tuesday?
:Luna: Argh! No,no,no,no,no,no,no,no! If I don't send her a letter by sundown, It'll be... treachery!
:Spike: What's that now?
:Luna: That's a treachery, Spike! Late, I'll be late! Oh, how could I let this happen? I'm usually so organized. I've never been late with an assignment.
:Spike: Oh, please, Luna! You're the most tolerant boy ever! I'm sure your mother will forgive you even if you miss one little deadline.
:Luna: I'm afraid to take that chance, Spike. She and Uncle Diana are the rulers of all of Petrovburg we're talking about. The person who holds my fate in their hands! What if they don't forgive me?
:Spike: Yeah... I don't think they—
:Luna: What if instead Mom starts thinking I'm not taking my studies on friendship seriously?
:Spike: Why would she—
:Luna: What if she makes me come back to Canterlot Presidentials and puts me back in class and makes me prove I've been taking them seriously by giving me a test?! What if I don't pass?!
:Spike: Well, why wouldn't you pass—
:Luna: She's actually my sincere mother. Do you know what the lecturers do to students who don't pass? They fire them from the civilians' unity without mercy! But she won't just fire me from the civilians' unity. She'll abandon my study like Princess Roman was!
:*-*-*
:Various students: [laughing]
:*-*-*
:Spike: Luna? Luna!
:Luna: Huh?
:Spike: That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! You're not going to be abandoned as Princess Roman was.
:Luna: You're right. I have no reason to worry. Because I'm going to solve a friend's problem and get that letter to Mom before sundown!
:Spike: [sighs]
:Luna: So... got any problems, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor, that I as a good friend could help you solve?
:Spike: Huh. Hmm. Huunh. Huh... I got nothin'.
:Luna: [sighs] Then it looks like I'm going to have to find someone who does.
:Spike: [sighs] This won't end well.
:[clock ticking]
:Luna: You've got this, Luna. You still have plenty of time to get that letter to Princess Finlandia. You still have plenty of time to get that letter to—
:Tobias: [screaming]
:Luna: Lady Toby!
:Tobias: [continues screaming]
:Luna: Don't worry, lady! I'm here!
:Tobias: [sobbing] Why me-e-e-e-e-ee... [gasp] WHYYYY?! Why? Why-y?! And of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!
:Luna: What's happened? Are you alright?
:Tobias: [gasps] I've lost my diamond-encrusted purple ribbon! I have searched high, and I have searched low. Low and high! High and low! But I can't find it anywhere! Anywhe-e-e-e-ere! How can I possibly finish my latest creation if I can't find it?!
:Luna: Never fear, lady. As your friend I'll do my best to help you fi—
:Tobias: Oh, there it is. Isn't it always just the last place you look?
:Luna: So... you just lost your ribbon?
:Tobias: Mm-hm!
:Luna: But now you've found it?
:Tobias: Yuh-huh.
:Luna: And nothing else is bothering you? Nothing that I, as a good friend, could help you with?
:Tobias: Hmm... there is one thing.
:Luna: Yes?
:Tobias: I think I left my measuring tape under the fabric over there. Could you get that for me?
:Luna: [sighs] Measuring tape? Sure.
:Tobias: Luna? Is there something bother— Luna?
:[clock ticking]
:Luna: No need to panic. Lady Toby is just one lady. I'm sure one of my other friends will need me.
:Jason: [grunting and kiai noises]
:[crash!]
:Luna: What the heck...? Jason must be angry with Dennis! He must hate her guts! How wonderful! Jason! Stop! Listen, Jason. I know you're upset with Dennis, but don't worry. Whatever it is that has come between you two, I'm sure that I, as a good friend, can help you resolve your problems.
:Jason: Uh, what are you talking about, Luna?
:Luna: Oh, Jason, you don't have to hide your feelings from me! I can tell you two must've had a terrible fight.
:Luna: Now, Jason, why don't you tell me all about your issues with Dennis?
:Jason: I don't have any issues with her.
:Luna: You don't? Then why are you destroying her property?
:Jason: Because she asked me to. Right, Dennis?
:Dennis: Yes. I wanted to put up a new barn, but this one's gotta come down first. Hehe. Now get back to it, Jason.
:Jason: You got it.
:Dennis: I'd take cover if I were you.
:Luna: [yelps]
:Jason: [screams]
:[explosion]
:Luna: [sighs]
:[clock ticking]
:Luna: [sighs] I can't believe I wasted all that time. I should have just come here first. Vincent Fluttershy always has some fear he's trying to get over. As a good friend, I'll be able to help him.
:Masha the Bear: [roars]
:Vincent: [grunting]
:Luna: Vincent?
:Vincent: [grunting, yelling]
:Luna: How can this be happening? Of all the days he had to stop being such a scare boy, he had to pick today?! What am I going to do?!
:Vincent: You really should have come to me sooner. You were carrying so much tension in that shoulder.
:Masha the Bear: [growls]
:Luna: It's fine. It'll all be fine. The day isn't over yet. But it will be over soon!
:[clock ticking]
:Luna: [groans] It'll be all over! My time in Vernadia! My advanced studies! No, no. You're a good boy. You can do this. Ooh! But what if I can't? You can! You just have to keep it together. Keep. It. Together!
:Spike: Are you talking to... yourself? Luna?
:Vernadian kids: [laughing]
:Spike: Snap out of it!
:Luna: Huh?
:Spike: Are you okay?
:Vernadian kids: [laughing]
:Spike: Luna, I'm really worried. I mean this letter thing is really getting to you. Here. You've been so anxious all day that you completely forgot about the picnic. Why don't you just relax and go hang out with—
:Luna: The picnic! I should go see our friends!
:Spike: I'm glad you've come to your senses.
:Tobias: Please tell me I did not forget the plates. [gasps] I did. I totally forgot them. Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! [cries] Why, why, why... Uh... What? You didn't expect me to lay on the grass, did you?
:[bray]
:Dennis: You alright, boy?
:Luna: No! I am not alright.
:Dennis, Vincent, Jason, Tobias: [surprised muttering]
:Luna: It's just terrible.
:Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason, Tobias: Yes?
:Luna: Simply awful.
:Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason, Tobias: Yes?!
:Luna: It's the most horrific trouble I've ever been in and I really need your help!
:Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason, Tobias: YES?!
:Luna: My letters to our mother, Princess Finlandia, are almost overdue. And I haven't learned anything about friendship!
:Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason, Tobias: [sigh]
:Vincent: Oh. Alhamdulillah. I thought something really awful had happened.
:Luna: [strangled noises] Something awful has happened! If I don't turn in the letter on time, there will be a treachery! Treachery!
:Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason, Tobias: [giggling]
:Dennis: No offense, miracle boy, but it looks like someone's gettin' themselves all worked up over nothin'.
:Luna: This is nothing. This is everything. I need you guys to help me find someone with a problem I can fix before sundown! My whole life depends on it!
:Celestia: [giggles] Oh, Luna, you're such a crack-up! [laughs]
:Dennis: Come on now. Have a seat and stop sweatin' the small stuff.
:Luna: [groans]
:Vincent: Wow. I've never seen Luna so upset before.
:Tobias: Oh, what a drama king. Mm. Relatively speaking...
:[clock ticking]
:Luna: Clock is ticking, Luna. Clock. Is. Ticking. Keep it together. If I can't find a friendship problem... I'll make a friendship problem!
:[bird chirping]
:Luna: [insane giggles]
:Benedict, Colin, and Jerry: [giggling]
:Luna: Hi, girls! [twitching]
:Colin: Oh, hi, Brother Luna. How's it go—
:Luna: Gr-eat. Just great. You three look like you're doing great too! Looks like three good friends who obviously don't need the help of another good friend. This is Mr. Oda Nobunaga, he was mine when I was your age, and now I want to give him to you!
:Jerry: Uhh... he's... great.
:Colin: Yeah. Great.
:Benedict: I really... like his... beard.
:Luna: He even comes with his own notebook and quill, for when you want to pretend he's doing his homework!
:Jerry: That's... um... great.
:Colin: Yeah. Great.
:Benedict: I really... like his... beard.
:Luna: I just hope the fact that there are three of you and only one of him doesn't become a problem! I'd hate to cause a rift between such good friends. So, who wants to play with him first?
:Colin: Uh... You should play with him first, Bernie. Y'know, 'cause you like his beard so much.
:Benedict: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think Jerry should get to play with him first.
:Jerry: I'd love to, but, um, you take him, Colin.
:Colin: Lady Dennis says it's important to share.
:Luna: [thinking] I gotta think of something! Think-think-think-think-think Luna, think! [gasp] That's it! [aloud] Ooh, you're going to like Mr. Nobunaga. And you're going to like him more than anything.
:Jerry: [gasps] I want it.
:Colin: I need it.
:Benedict: I really like his beard!
:Benedict, Colin, and Jerry: [arguing]
:Luna: The 'want it, need it' spell. Works every time. Okay, okay, let's break it up. I think we can all see that there is an important lesson to be learned here about— ugh! C'mon, girls, we're all friends here, right? Don't you think you ought to share?
:Colin: No way!
:Luna: [groans] Mr. Hideyoshi! Alhamdulillah! You've gotta help me get that doll away from those girls!
:Mr. Hideyoshi: [German accent] Ja.
:Benedict, Colin, and Jerry: [continue arguing]
:Luna: Oh, thank you so much. Now if you could just give him to me?
:Mr. Hideyoshi: [German accent] Nnnein.
:Luna: Oh no!
:Colin: Give him back!
:Benedict, Colin, and Jerry: Don't touch it! It's mine! I want it!
:Principal Rikardo: What's all the commotion about?
:Vice Principal Linda: They're fighting over that doll!
:Luciano: That incredible, amazing doll!
:Citizens of Vernadia: [arguing]
:Luna: Can't... get... a clear shot! [grunting]
:Principal Rikardo: Gimme!
:Mr. Hideyoshi: [German accent] Nein!
:Luna: Oh, what have I done?!
:Citizens of Vernadia: [arguing]
:Dennis: Y'all hear that? What is the name of all things oats 'n apple is goin' on here?!
:Luna: Don't look at it!
:Tobias: Don't look at what?
:Luna: My Oda Nobunaga doll! I enchanted him and now everyone is fighting over him!
:Vincent: Why would you enchant your doll?
:Luna: Oh, I had to do something! I had nothing to report to our mother! I thought if I couldn't find a problem, I'd make a problem! The day is almost over!
:Dennis: Not almost!
:Princess Finlandia: Luna! 
:Dennis: What the heck?!
:[Oda Nobunaga doll squeaks]
:Mr. Hideyoshi: [silent]
:Princess Finlandia: Meet me in home.
:Luna: Goodbye, guys. If you care to visit, I'll be in prison.
:Vincent: Prison?
:Jason: What did he say?
:Celestia: We're never gonna see Luna again! [sobs]
:Dennis: Uh, what are we gonna do, y'all?
:Tobias: Of all the worst things that could happen, this is the worst possible thing!
:Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason: [giving her a dirty look]
:Tobias: What? I really mean it this time!
:[in the Vernadsky Family House]
:Luna: But, mom... I'm supposed to send you a letter about friendship every week. I missed the deadline. I'm a bad boy! And it's a treachery!
:Princess Finlandia: You are my wonderful son, Luna. I don't have to get a letter every week to know that.
:Luna: Really?
:Jason: Wait!
:Celestia: Hear me as your daughter, mommy. Don't punish Luna.
:Dennis: That was not his fault!
:Princess Finlandia: I'm listening.
:Vincent: Please, ma'am. We all saw that Luna was upset.
:Jason: But we thought that the thing he was worrying about wasn't worth worrying about.
:Dennis: So when he ran off all worked up, not a single one of us tried to stop him.
:Tobias: As Luna's good friends, we should have taken his feelings seriously and been there for him!
:Vincent: Please, don't take him away from us just because we were too insensitive to help him.
:Princess Finlandia: Looks like you all learned a pretty valuable lesson today.
:Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason, Tobias: Mm-hmm.
:Princess Finlandia: Very well. I'll forget Luna's "punishment" on one condition.
:Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason, Tobias: [All right, etc.]
:Princess Finlandia: From this day forth, I would like you all help Luna to report to me your findings on the magic of friendship when, and only when, you happen to discover them. [to Celestia] And help me too, Celestia.
:Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason, Tobias: [cheering]
:Luna: Mom, wait! How did you know I was in trouble?
:Princess Finlandia: Spike made me aware that you were letting your fears get the best of you. I commend her for taking your feelings seriously. Now, if you will all excuse me, I must return with Captain Tony to Canterlot Presidentials. I'm expecting some mail.
:Dennis: Y'all heard Luna's mother. Spike, take a letter.
:Dennis: [clears throat] Dear Princess Finlandia,
:We're writin' to you because today we all learned a little somethin' about friendship.
:Vincent: We learned that you should take your friends' worries seriously.
:Jason: Even if you don't think that Luna has anything to worry about.
:Tobias: And that you shouldn't let your worries turn a small problem...
:Celestia: ...into an enormously huge entire-town-in-total-chaos Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem.
:Dennis: Signed, the Petrovburg Heroes.
:Spike: P.S.: Obviously, Spike did not have to learn a lesson, because she is the best, most awesome friend a boy could ask for. Unlike everyone else, she took things seriously, and- Eh-eh... uh... yeah... I'll just, um...
:Luna, Dennis, Vincent, Celestia, Jason, Tobias: [laughs]
:Spike: [snorts]
:THE END
id: Transkrip/Lesson Zero
Category:LMB transcripts