Cannibalize This

Space Tree and Mee Marone are going to a planet that doesn't allow kids, so The Commander and Allon have to wait for them on a big asteroid. Yeah, an asteroid. This is my cartoon, so they can survive there. Or can they?
== Transcript ==
(open to ST's ship parked on an asteroid; zoom in to the crew standing outside the ship)
SPACE TREE: Look, it's not my fault that they don't allow kids on this planet, alright? I don't make the rules.
COMMANDER: Yeah, but since when am I a kid? I choose to take that as an insult.
(enter Mee)
MEELORD: Hey, why don't you shut up and go play in the ball pit? Hehe...
COMMANDER: Ball pit? Just what are you implying?
SPACE TREE: You just have to wait on this asteroid thing until we get back. There's plenty of oxygen here, so you'll be fine. I know how much you like oxygen.
(we see Allon is in the ball-pit, with a milkshake (REMEMBER THIS LATER?!))
ALLON: Hey Space Tree, can you leave us some food?
SPACE TREE: Shut up, Allon! You won't need any food; we'll just be like an hour. See ya then!
MEELORD: Bye bye, KIDS. Hehe...
(they enter the ship; Commander threatens to punch Mee)
(the ship takes off, and that beat plays; cut back to the asteroid)
ALLON: So, Commander, do you wanna play "I Spy"?
COMMANDER: Oh, OK. I spy with my little eye... a piece of crap.
ALLON: Uh... Is it me?
COMMANDER: *sigh* Space Tree better hurry up and get back here. I can't take an hour of this.
ALLON: Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Space Tree forgot about us or something, and we got stranded here?
COMMANDER: Allon, sometimes I forget just how retarded you really are. There's no way such a thing could ever happen. EVER. (he spells in out in the air, with the letters appearing and everything) E-V-E-R. Eever.
(time passes; Commander has now grown a beard)
COMMANDER: This is all your fault, Allon! You totally jinxed us earlier!
ALLON: Ugh I'm so hungry.
COMMANDER: Yeah, me too. Hey, you know how I'm a human, and you're... not. Because of this undeniable fact, would it really be considered cannibalism if I ate you? (holds up a fork)
ALLON: ... (angry) Yes!
COMMANDER: Oh. Well, I was just curious.
(more time passes; the Commander's beard has grown even longer)
COMMANDER: What about if I just ate your arm? Because that's not-
ALLON: It's still the same thing!
COMMANDER: You know, it sounds like you know an awful lot about this kind of thing, Allon! You've probably been planning to cannibalize ME, haven't you!?
ALLON: You know what, Commander? I'm starting to get pre-tty sick of your crud, alright?
COMMANDER: Oh you wanna fight, Amanolla? 'Cuz, I dunno what crud is, but I'm sick of yours also!
(Allon leaps onto the Commander)
ALLON: Aagh!
COMMANDER: Allon, what the he-
(he starts beating the crap out of the Commander; after a bit, the Mirage walks up)
MIRAGE: Whoa. I was just coming to kill you guys, but... I'll stay out of this one. (he leaves)
ALLON: Oh, you're next!
(Commander tosses Allon off him)
COMMANDER: You're crazy, Allon! Being stuck in this place has really gotten to your fat head!
ALLON: You're the fat one!
COMMANDER: See what I mean? You're not making any sense.
ALLON: YOU'RE MAKING SENSE!
COMMANDER: Hey, is that Space Tree?
(pan over, and yes, it really IS him)
SPACE TREE: Man, what the hell happened to you guys?
COMMANDER: Space Tree, is that really you? I can hardly recognize you after all these years.
SPACE TREE: Uh, yeah, it's me. Were you guys about to kill each other or something?
COMMANDER: Well, yeah, but only because you left us here for so long!
(the sunglasses fly onto him)
SPACE TREE: Well, it was just my bi-annual Halloween prank!
COMMANDER: You call leaving us stranded here for two years a prank!?
SPACE TREE: Two years? It's only been two hours. Getting here an hour late was my hilarious Halloween prank. (the sunglasses fly off again)
COMMANDER: Well, if it's only been two hours, how did I get this beard?
SPACE TREE: That beard's totally fake. (he tears it off)
COMMANDER: Oh! Well... That actually makes... some sense. So then why were we acting so crazy?
SPACE TREE: Well, it's just a guess, but I think it's because you're both idiots.
ALLON: YOU'RE THE IDIOTS!
(enter Mee, Part II; a countdown starting with "Time Left: 0:36" appears in the corner)
MEELORD: Actually, that was all part of MY annual Halloween prank.
SPACE TREE: Oh, why don't you just copy everything I do?
MEELORD: Commander, don't you remember that milkshake you had earlier?
(flashback to said events)
COMMANDER: Yeah, what about it?
MEELORD: Well, I spiked it with several mind-altering narcotics.
(flash back to the present)
COMMANDER: Well i didn't even drink that milkshake, I gave it to Allon.
(we see Allon has now taken off his jacket)
ALLON: YOU'RE A NARCOTIC!
SPACE TREE: Oh, I thought something was up with him. I mean, let's be fair, he may be a piece of crap, but he's smarter than you, Commander.
COMMANDER: Smarter than ME, Commander? Sounds like YOU'RE the crazy one here, Space Tree. (he starts the cheap laughter, a la No Chalk) A ha ha ha...
SPACE TREE: Shut up!
(Allon leaps onto the Commander)
ALLON: GIVE ME YOUR FACE!
(they're yanked offscreen)
COMMANDER: OH GOD!
(roll end credits!)
== Easter Eggs ==
* Click the TMC on the end screen to see the Mirage's cut (TMC) of this episode.
=== Easter Egg Transcript ===
: (cut to the Mirage, eating Ice Cream)
: MIRAGE: Oh, hi, didn't see you come in. You know, when I first saw this episode of the enormously popular cartoon 'Space Tree the Space Tree', my original reaction was: Boy, this episode is even more retarded than me. But then I thought; let's be fair. Could I do better? And the answer is yes, I really could. So I went into the editing room and pulled this out of my ass. Roll the tape, Allon.
: (cut to Allon, who pulls a switch, then cut to episode: ST000039, the Mirage's cut, then cut to Allon, hitting the Commander, the Mirage comes in, then zoom in to the Mirage's face, who smiles)
: MIRAGE: I wish for world peace.
: (cut to end credits, animated by the Mirage, music by the Mirage, presented by Miragetoons (fake Keentoons logo))
* At the end screen click the crappy drawing of Allon above the menu button. 
=== Easter Egg Transcript ===
: (cut to Allon on a ladder, Space Tree and the Commander look up)
: ALLON: I am a golden god!!!
== Fun Facts ==
* First appearance of the non-paper-drawn Mirage.
* Ed Atlin announced this episode's name a few days in advance in a post on the Space Tree forum.
== References ==
* In the easter egg, the Mirage sits at the desk of Alan Rickman, an English actor, which is the same desk Allon sat at when he was SVP.
*The title may be a reference to the movie Analyze This.
* The round pills put in the shake read 'Teamocil', the name of an antidepressant from the TV series Arrested Development.
* Allon makes the comment "I am a golden god" which is a line used in a popular scene in the movie Almost Famous.
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