BFW

"BFW" (acronym for "Big Fucking Whoopee") is a song by TISM, featured as the closing track on their album De Rigeurmortis, released in October 2001 by genre b.goode and Festival Mushroom Records. 
When it was first performed live, "BFW" was preceded by the "BFW Intro" and played in full, with Ron Hitler-Barassi's diatribe recited after the song. Later performances only sampled the end of the intro and left out the diatribe. When played at Laundry Post-Match, the diatribe was replaced with "The TISM Club Song". 
==Lyrics==
===BFW Intro (early live performances only)===
:PRESENTER 1: Thirteen past the hour, and you're on BFW, playing all the hits from yesterday and the same ones from the day before. Coming up in the next hour, we've got Christina Aguilera, Sisqo, Moby, Radiohead and TISM. 
:PRESENTER 2: TISM?! Who put them on this list? Where's my producer? I'm not reading this... TISM?! Those shitheads couldn't get a gig at their own 21st. 
:PRESENTER 1: I'll tell you what I think of TISM: Big... fucking... whoopee.Usually, the crowd shouts the final "whoopee".
===Album version===
:Christina Aguilera!
:Some dead-eyed child bride has learned to dance.
:BFW!
:Sisqo!
:One pack of vicious blacks hates another.
:BFW!
:Moby!
:A geography teacher bought a blues record.
:BFW!
:Radiohead!
:Redefining the very idiom that is modern music.
:BFW!
:Psy-trance!
:Big beat, prog house, old skool, hard house, nu skool breaks.
:BFW!
:London!
:The five hundred most snooty people think something's important.
:BFW!
:Acting in a movie!
:Walk to the mark, say the line, do it again.
:BFW!
:Video clips!
:The revolving moose head shot cost quarter of a mil!
:BFW!
:Pay TV!
:Gilligan's Island. Rugby. Gilligan's Island again.
:BFW!
:The Internet!
:More crap at your fingertips than on 'em.
:BFW!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:Giorgio Armani!
:Makes dresses, makes more dresses!
:BFW!
:The Queen Mother!
:Fucked the right guy, lots of money, drunkard!This line was replaced with "dead" during the Save Our TISM show, following the Queen Mother's death in 2002.
:BFW!
:Vegans!
:Deeply committed people, better than you and me!
: BFW!
:Stock market!
:Lotsa guys with rat cunning, rippin' each other off!
:BFW!
:BMW!
:You hop in this car, then you drive it!
: BFW! 
:Drive it! DRIIIIIIVE!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Big fucking whoopee
:Whoo-ooo-ooo!
:(cheering)
:(door slams)
:(chorus plays quietly in the background then fades out)
:RON HITLER-BARASSI:
:You wanna know about big fucking whoopee? Let me tell you about big fucking whoopee!
:*Skateboarding - that's big fucking whoopee!
:*Finnegans Wake - BFW!
:*That long-haired choreographer on Popstars who looks like the Paddle Pop Lion, and who was just so lovin' being on camera and getting the chance to bully a group of twenty year olds - B-F-double-you, mate, in a big way!
:*Fatboy Slim Dusty!
:*Chefs, especially celebrity chefs, but all chefs really. Good ones, I mean, the ones with the snooty attitude who think, what this world really needs is another braised quot quot in a rococo of couscous. And people who like all that shit like John Hindle and Claude Forrell and all those food critics. By Christ, when your life's specialty is forcing another morsel of over-glazed lamb shank down your oily, globular, over-opinionated gullet, when, of all the things in the world men are called to do, of all the vocations of love and adventure, of all the trials of the emotions and amongst all the voyages of spirit mankind can embark upon, when, given this whole universe of possible callings, the one you choose is to sit on your crapulent crack and lazily whine about someone else's cooking, that's when you know you are at the very acme of the BFW shit heap.
:*Ian Forrester - BFW.
:*Abstract expressionism - BFW. B-F-fucking-W to all of them.
:*DVD players, 'til they can record - that's fucking BFW.
:*Every article about feminism in The Age - BFW.
:*Acland Street, Brunswick Street, I mean, you're still just walking up and down the fucking road. I can do that in fucking Rowville too! I'm fucking sick of this! BFW to the fucking lot of it, fucking B-F-fucking-W!
:(Ron opens and closes a door, people can be heard talking)
:RON HITLER-BARASSI: 
:Actually, now I fucking talk about it, teenagers are fucking BFW. Tai Bo, live theatre, all of which is fucking crap, the Grand Prix, golf, Mietta's death, tap dancin', harp playing, Federation, Cathy fucking Freeman and every other fucking track and field athlete, BFW to the lot of ya!
:Tom and Nicole! (calms down, whispers) Tom and Nicole Brown, I mean, uh, whose parents moved into the house next door to ours for six months, back when I was nine and I played with, um... I played with them after school for a while, but I never saw them again after their parents split up and they had to sell the house. I mean, that Tom and Nicole, Tom and Nicole Brown are obviously B... um, BFW. Uh, not "the" Tom and Nicole, whose similar marital troubles are terribly vital to me and us all.
: (regaining the vitriol in his voice)
: One thing I would like to know,
: Why is it that K**** ******e, amongst groovers, is all the go,
:But that same crew slag off Bardot?
:Who writes the songs, that's the thing!
:Any clotheshorse can learn to sing! 
:K***e's albums are all eponymous,
:But the songwriters stay anonymous.
:Naughty by Nature, the Backstreet Boys,
:Boys 2 Men, who makes the noise!
:Sisqo, Snoop Dogg, less heard then seen.
:Writing lyrics ain't nothin'!
:(Except these, I mean.)
:Who are the ugly bastards hidden away
:Who write the tunes that get airplay?
:Listen, K***e!
:I don't want to trouble you,
:But if you don't write the songs,
:B... F... double ya.
==External links and references== 
*The TISM Wiki at archive.org
Category:Songs
Category:TISM songs
Category:Diatribes
Category:De Rigeurmortis
Category:The White Albun
Category:Pages imported from The TISM Wiki