Neigh Little Horsey

Neigh Little Horsey is the thirty-third episode and the fifteenth episode of Season Two in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
Mystery mysteriously shows up in Fancyland, and SpongeBob takes her in and tries to get her adjusted to fancy living. However, that isn't what she really wants.
==Synopsis==
The episode begins with SpongeBob watering his spice gardens outside of his pineapple.
“I say, this brand new spice garden of mine is getting extra spicy,” he says as he plucks one of the plants from the garden and proceeds to eat it. SpongeBob then gets lit on fire, and Gary quickly comes in with a fire extinguisher to get rid of the fire.
“Oh. Thanks, Gare bear. I almost died there.”
Gary unenthusiastically meows, and slithers off-screen.
Meanwhile, Squidward is watering his own garden, which is filled with rare plants.
“These plants are like family to me,” he says to himself. “If anything were to happen, I’d put my foot down… and put it in the trash. Luckily that won’t ever happen, period.” 
Squidward quickly covers his mouth.
“Careful, Squidward, remember your karma.”
Squidward then looks away to scratch his back, and when he looks back, some of his plants are now chewed up.
“Well, I said I’d do it.”
Squidward rips one of his tentacle feet off of his body and throws it in the garden bin nearby. He then hears a horse neigh.
“A horse? I thought we had none of those filthy creatures around here!” Squidward says. “Where are you, you little rascal?! You ruined my garden!” He then starts to swiftly look around for the so-called horse.
A green seahorse is seen, chewing on one of Squidward’s flowers, and swallows it. Squidward then sees it, and starts chasing it.
The green seahorse outruns Squidward by a mile, and Squidward raises his fist at it.
“Curse you, stupid horse!”
The song Stupid Horse is then heard playing.
“Not THAT kind of stupid horse!”
The music stops.
“Now, where was I?”
Squidward glances back at his flowers to see that even more of them have been chewed up. His head literally turns into a kettle, steaming intensely.
“THAT’S IT!” he yells.
The seahorse is then seen chewing SpongeBob’s spice garden crops. SpongeBob opens the front door, talking on the phone.
“Yeah, Sandy, your science experiment sounds like it’s a lot of work. We’ll meet again next weekend, alright? Alright, bye.” SpongeBob ends the call, then he walks a few steps before noticing the green seahorse eating his flowers.
“M-m-m…. Mystery? Is that you?” he asks.
Mystery neighs in confirmation.
SpongeBob approaches her and hugs her.
“Oh Mystery, how I’ve missed you! We have so much to catch up on. I can’t even list everything that we’re gonna do. Actually, I can. Eating at the new Krusty Krab, meeting with the mayor, going jellyfishing-”
SpongeBob’s words start turning into gibberish as Mystery looks visibly concerned.
Bubble transition to SpongeBob taking mystery into the golden Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs greets them both.
“Aye, why are you here so early- good gravy, it’s that stupid horse again!” Krabs says in disbelief.
“”Don’t worry, Mr. Krabs, she won’t cause any harm,” SpongeBob says.
“Well… if you say so. Not like she’d eat most of the stuff here, it’s full of metal- I MEAN, full of… nutrients that she might not like. Yeah, that’s what I meant.”
Mystery neighs in response.
“Well, let’s show you around,” SpongeBob says. He walks into his kitchen, and Mystery follows. SpongeBob puts an employee hat onto Mystery’s head.
“Now, Krabby Patties are an art. But these new Krabby Patties are an even bigger art! You take a Krabby Patty…”
SpongeBob makes a Krabby Patty come out of his hand.
“Don’t ask where that’s been. Now, I come over to this machine-”
SpongeBob walks over to a machine and inserts the patty into it, which sucks it up. Then, it comes out of a tube on the other side where it shines with a new platinum coating. He picks up the patty.
“And viola! A shiny platinum patty!”
Mystery then sucks up the patty with her mouth and attempts to eat it, but her teeth instantly break. SpongeBob snatches the patty from her.
“No, girl, you can’t have these. This is for the customer. And by customer, I mean me!” SpongeBob eats the patty in one gulp. Mystery neighs in disappointment, and her stomach rumbles.
Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Mystery arriving back inside SpongeBob’s house.
“C’mon, lemme show you around,” SpongeBob says.
Mystery groans with a neigh.
SpongeBob goes upstairs, and motions for her to come along with her. Mystery doesn’t budge.
“Come on, girl, I really wanna show you my Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy card collection!”
Mystery aggressively neighs, and eventually starts running away.
“Mystery!”
Bubble transition to SpongeBob holding Mystery on a leash.
“There we go. Now you can’t leave my sight,” he says. “Lemme show you around.”
Cut to SpongeBob showing Mystery various rooms.
“This is the recreation room, where I recreate events from history…”
The room is literally a recreation of World War II.
“Uh, ignore that one. This one over here is my patty room. I use it when I’m not at work making Krabby Patties.”
The patty room is a recreation of the kitchen at the Krusty Krab, but with endless amounts of grills. One of the patties starts turning black, and SpongeBob panics, so he quickly throws the burnt patty into the trash bin.
“You saw nothing... next!”
Back at the Krusty Krab, Krabs sniffs something odd.
“Something’s burning…” he says to himself.
Cut back to SpongeBob’s house, where SpongeBob is showing Mystery his jewel collection.
“I love these guys like they’re my children, SpongeBob says, and he notices that one of them is slightly out of line. “Dear Neptune!”
SpongeBob fixes the jewel to be in line with the others.
“These things are literally priceless. I have no idea what they’re worth.”
Mystery starts yawning.
“Oh look at the time! It’s almost time for Keeping Up With the Fancysons!” SpongeBob then winks at the camera, confusing Mystery.
SpongeBob goes into the TV room and sits on the shiny sofa, and Mystery reluctantly follows. She sees a bowl of apples, and prepares her mouth to eat one, but SpongeBob pushes it away.
“Nuh-uh-uh. We at the SquarePants Fancyland household only eat the best kinds of food.” He then pushes a bowl of Marsh King marshmallows over to her, and Mystery shudders and moves away from the marshmallows.
“What? You don’t like marshmallows?” SpongeBob asks. “Well, suit yourself. One small step for sponge, one giant leap for spongekind.” He grabs a handful of marshmallows and shoves them in his mouth.
Mystery stares at the bowl of apples, and tries again to eat one of the apples. This time she succeeds in getting a bite, but SpongeBob notices and takes the apple out of her mouth.
“You can’t eat apples anymore. Oh right, I forgot to tell you why. There’s a pet pageant tomorrow!” SpongeBob says excitedly.
Mystery whimpers.
(Three hours later…)
SpongeBob starts yawning as the TV is still running. Mystery is almost asleep.
“Well, Mystery, it’s time we hit the hay.” He laughs. “We gotta get ready for the pageant tomorrow, so we need to get some good sleep. Nighty night, don’t let the sea spiders bite.”
SpongeBob goes upstairs to his bedroom, and Mystery opens her eyes. She gets up from the couch and looks around the room. The coast appears to be clear. Mystery approaches the front door and opens it with her teeth. The door opens, and she gallops out of SpongeBob’s house. She then looks around, and sneaks over to Squidward’s still chewed up garden. Hesitating, she takes another bite out of one of Squidward’s flowers and chews it. After swallowing, Mystery looks over to see a golden shiny rock. 
Mystery makes a joyful neigh as she goes over to Patrick’s rock, and bites on it. Her teeth once again break off, and she blows a raspberry. After that, she decides to sleep on top of Patrick’s rock. However, the rock suddenly opens.
“SpongeBob? Is that you?” Patrick asks, obviously sleepwalking.
Mystery panics and jumps off the rock. Patrick senses this and starts walking toward her.
“SpongeBob, I know you're there. C'mon buddy, let's go have some fun. Maybe play tag!”
Patrick reaches toward Mystery’s tail and tugs it.
“Tag! You're it!” he says, giggling.
Mystery screams and kicks Patrick back into his rock.
“Not in the mood huh? That's weird,” he says to himself as the rock shuts back closed.
Mystery sighs in relief. Afraid of encountering Patrick again, she goes over to Squidward’s house and uses her mouth to open the door. Pan over to Squidward snoring in his green screen room, which is currently set to a tropical island.
Thumping is heard off-screen, which is revealed to be Mystery. She wanders upstairs to see what the place is like. When she sees a golden flower pot, her eyes turn into flowers, and pulls out a fork and knife to prepare to eat the flower inside of it.
Cut back to Squidward sleeping in the green screen room. Loud crunching can be heard off-screen, and Squidward instantly wakes up, panicking.
“Wh-who’s there? It better not be you again, SpongeBob!” he says.
Cutting back to Mystery, she hears Squidward getting up, and tries to escape. However, Squidward comes in just in time to see the perpetrator.
“YOU!” Squidward yells as Mystery goes downstairs. “You’re that stupid horse! Come here, I’m gonna turn you into seahorse meat!”
Squidward brandishes a kitchen knife, and Mystery’s eyes widen as a wild goose chase sequence begins. Wacky chase music plays as Squidward and Mystery go from door-to-door Scooby-Doo style, running after and from each other.
Squidward opens up a bathroom door, thinking Mystery is in there, but his robot is in there instead, reading a newspaper on the toilet.
“Do you mind?” the robot says flatly.
Squidward closes the door in embarrassment, and the sequence continues.
Meanwhile, SpongeBob is snoring soundly asleep in his own bedroom. Gary, who hears the commotion, slithers on top of SpongeBob and pokes him awake with one of his eye stalks. SpongeBob begrudgingly wakes up.
“Gary, I had the weirdest dream. My butt was stuck inside a Krabby Patty-”
Gary urgently meows and points over to Squidward’s house.
“Wha? What’s Squidward doing? Well, better check it out.”
SpongeBob walks out of his room, and Gary slithers back to his stack of money to sleep on.
At Squidward’s house, Mystery and Squidward have gotten into a fight. They keep throwing things at each other, including Squidward’s vacuum cleaner, Bold and Brash, and even Squidward’s clarinet. When Mystery throws the clarinet at Squidward, it breaks, which causes Squidward to break down in anger. He lunges towards Mystery, and they both turn into a fighting cloud, going all over the room.
SpongeBob opens the door, yawning on his way inside. He instantly snaps awake once he sees Squidward and Mystery fighting.
“Mystery?! How did you get in here?!” SpongeBob yells.
“SpongeBob! So it’s YOUR stupid horse! It’s been causing a ruckus for the past eleven minutes. It chewed up my favorite clarinet rose!” Squidward yells back.
“I’m sorry, Squidwa-”
“I don’t need your pathetic apologies right now, SpongeBob. Just please take this filthy animal elsewhere. Why would you let her stay with you in Fancyland anyway?”
“B-but she’s going to the Fancyland pet pageant tomorrow!”
“She better not. It’s obvious she doesn’t have the manners of a true gentle… woman.”
“Don’t say that, Squidward. She’s well behaved.”
“Oh yeah? Then why did she head out the door?”
SpongeBob looks outside to see Mystery eating Squidward’s plants again. SpongeBob goes up to Mystery to confront her.
“Girl, I know it might not be easy, but…” SpongeBob hesitates, and his mouth starts whimpering.
Then, SpongeBob starts turning into a water fountain of tears. Mystery is unfazed by this, and drinks SpongeBob’s tears before they stop.
“Oh right, I forgot to give you water last night. Forget about all this, Mystery. I’ve learned my lesson. You deserve to roam free, in the wild. This isn’t right, this whole Fancyland thing. You’re just a seahorse after all. All you want to do is eat plants and stuff. I’ll let you go free, okay?”
Mystery rubs against SpongeBob affectionately, and the two hug. Mystery trots away, and SpongeBob wipes away a tear.
“Love is complicated sometimes, especially between a sponge and a seahorse,” the French narrator says.
“Who the barnacles was that?” SpongeBob asks as the episode ends.
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