Bad to the Bone

When it comes down to the basics , 1000 Ways To Die is a show of justice . People get what's coming to them , whether they are plain ol' brats , idiots or villains . Now , everybody likes bad guys dying ? Well , prepare to go into a episode full of it .
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AIRED ON: SEPTEMBER 25, 2016 
WAY TO DIE: #5014 
ASS-UMED 
Location : Chicago , South Side  A thief vanishes and South Side newspapers assume he's dead .However , he is very much alive and tries to rob a gangster's house , but the gangster , assuming he's a zombie , shoots him in the head which blows out most of his brains , causing bleed out and his organs to stop .
Name : Gangsta Dead
Time : June 15, 1920
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WAY TO DIE: #1119
UNFIRED ANT 
Location : Texas  A bratty billionaire visits his rancher cousin with his son , who is less bratty than his father . Eventually , the two go on a wildlife tour , but after a while the father hops out and forces his son to come out of the van too . However , the father is woefully unperpared in the 95 degrees heat . However his son is and soon , bolth come to rest under a tree . However , the billionare's preicament goes from bad to worse , as a colony of fire ants enters his windpipe . He begins to choke and soon , the ants eats his lungs . However , his son , who his coated in bug spray , is spared
Name : Ant Yap
Time : May 5, 2013 
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WAY TO DIE: #9373
FAGGOT MAGGOT BAGUETTED 
Location : Chicago , Illinois  A thief is accused or stealing an italian immigrant's 100$ , which he was saving to buy a paper mill . Eventully , the two get in a fight and during it , one of the thief's breifcases is oppened , which contains the money . In anger , he chases the thief , who plows through a brick wall ( breaking his frontal bones ) and lands in a rocky alley , which breaks his neck and kills him . The immigrant thinks he will be charged with manslaughter , so he buries the body .  However , immigrant children looking for maggot pet in the ally uncover the body , when they see the maggots growing on it . 
Name : Maggoted 
Time : December 21, 1900
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WAY TO DIE: #6618 
MEXI-CORN 
Location : Mexico  A farmer hires a corrupt guard to guard his corn , but as soon as the farmer leaves , the guard begins taking the corn . However , half an hour later , the farmer comes into the field . His movements startle the guard , who trips and gets his head stuck in a bundle of hay . A group of pigs descend upon it and eat it , unaware of the head in it . When the hay is gone , it is revealed ; the pigs have eaten the guard's head off .
Name : It's a Matter of Keeping Your Head ( Hay Head )
Time : June 21, 1999
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WAY TO DIE: #1199 
PORN GRAPHICALLY MAULED 
Location : North Pole  If there's a thing Jimmy loves doing in his job at the North Pole  , it's photographing polar bear penises . He's good at it too , but one day , a female polar bear shoves him with her shoulder , causing him to fall down a ditch . However , it isin't the stop that kills him . Instead , a polar bear that somehow survived his fall into the ditch confronts him . Jimmy takes his penis photo , but then the bear mauls him .
Name : Icy Shoulder ( Bear With Me )
Time : January 1, 2016 
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WAY TO DIE: # 7206
BACK DROPPED
Location : Hollywood  Mike loves his job as producer a little too much and begins acting aggresive to anyone who dosen't follow his orders . His employees bear it for a while , but they eventully crack when they cant buy a 5,000,000$ dollar Matrix backdrop for him . He blows up and can't listen to any reasoning , until he challanges his propman to a fight . Here we should tell you that Mike is overweight , because when he gets on a wresteling ring prop , it can't support him , which causes him to fall on a electric generator ( which is used to make lights underneath the ring ) which electrocutes him .
Name : Out With The Credits
Time : August 9, 2011
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WAY TO DIE: #10000 (Super Bonus: 10)
FINAL SANDED 
Location : Hawaii A Hawaiian circus has it's prize attraction ( a Ropewalker named Shamu ) cut fur three days due to sickness and in his place is a stunt act by Shamu's rival , where he throws Shamu's stick about and insults Shamu's act . This continues for three days , but durig the third one , Shmau returns and hits his replacement with his stick , which causes black sand to go into his stomach. He's allergic to it , which causes the immune cells to eat through the rival's stomach tissue , which kills him .
Name : Black Sand Bottom
Time : October 31, 1987
That's all , for another episode of 1000 Ways To Die !
Category:Episodes