The Moviening Arc

(For the page on the actual movie and not the detailed explanation by red click here.)
= !!! SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE BELOW !!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE SPOILED !!! . =
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It’s a bright, sunny day in Homestuck City. The homestucks have decided to go shopping today. All of them. This is because a new MartMart opened up in town. The pee jar is not being stolen a little ways away, Jack Noir is not struggling to find Coconut Chuckster. Or whatever was happening with that? It is the usual Homestuck shopping trip. Everyone gets distracted and is yelling at each other.
Since Side-Facing Roxy is not here, Meenah and Jake are free to bicker as usual. They spend time throwing the bouncy balls from the store at each other. Then suddenly, Jack Noir appears! He is looking for something... hmm… nah I could never guess what. Jake is too busy fawning over how sexy he looks to care either apparently.
SF Roxy is at her house, preparing for Jake and Sullox’s anniversary party. She and Jake had made sure to send out lots of invitations. This was to be a serious party, not one full of jokes like their usual adventures. Jake wanted it to be perfect.
After the Homestuck’s bout of shopping, they head on over to their own personal things. Jake goes to Roxy’s house, and is ready for some anniversary party times!!! He weezers at Sullox, who obviously is also there.
Everyone is there except Front-Facing Roxy and Meenah. Jake does not know where they are.
Outside SF Roxy’s house, Meenah is with the Lemons, a group of evil people, planning a way to prank Jake. She has completely forgotten about the party. The Lemons bring up some good prank points, such as making him drink something that freezes him from the inside out, or setting the house on fire.
The Lemons rush inside the house, bombarding Jake with questions. It becomes hard for him to focus on his Buddy and Roxy. Jake is also really stinky, just something to mention. Definitely “studf” and not egghead offers him a cup of a liquid. Jake smells it before drinking it, only to find out that smelling the liquid FREEZES you from the inside out!!! What a surprise! Jake is still conscious in the freezing and is yelling out sad remarks. He is separated from his Buddy. Roxy mentions how he can’t eat her choco tacos that she just made. Jake decides life isn’t worth living anymore, but before that, he sees that the house is set on fire. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? Jake becomes absolutely outraged at this. He is melted now, but his anger sets him on fire. How could Meenah put him in ice and SET ROXY’S HOUSE ON FIRE ON HIS ANNIVERSARY???
SF Roxy tells Jake and Sollux she knows how to make them feel better, but...
Suddenly, Meenah exclaims "I don't EVEN CARE ABOUT UR DUMB PARTY!"
Jake confronts Meenah even with SF Roxy's attempt to make him feel better, and practically goes on fire again from rage, almost backing her into the corner. Roxy feels insulted but sad she would say that about the party she threw for them, while Meenah says the equivalent of "IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO!". Roxy laments about how she just wanted the party to be fun for everyone, and this gets through Meenah's heart enough to make her leave. Jake is happy, while Roxy is very concerned.
While Jake is talking to the others, SF Roxy finds Sollux being eaten by a very hungry Pupa Pan, and attempts to save him by giving Pupa a choco taco, but it only delays the inevitable. Pupa continues eating Sollux while she watches helplessly. She goes over to a very clueless and oblivious Jake to tell him about his Weezerband needing help, but he seemingly ignores her. Sollux dies, eaten alive and left a bloodied husk.
Roxy decides she needs a drink now, and wanders the streets for a walk, only coming back for a short time before going out again.
Sovara shows up and tells Jake to come upstairs so she could give him something. Jake obliges after a little convincing. They walk into a room where there definitely are no mafia members. Sovara gives Jake a limited edition weezer album. Jake is so happy he hugs Sovara on the spot! But Sovara hits him on the head in an attempt to knock him out. However, Jake is so thickly skulled that it takes multiple hits before he falls on the ground passed out. And by that time, Sovara had already left.
FF Roxy and Egghead in getup come from the shadows to investigate Jake’s body. FF Roxy considers him dead, but he wakes up after a while to chime in his two cents, cause he can't shut up for two minutes. FF Roxy does not accept this fact, and takes him to the red chair to revive him. Jake obviously does not mind a trip to the red chair, and sits for as long as he can. Chilling.
INTERMISSION TIME!!! After being resurrected by the red chair, Jake decides to finally go fight Gamzee and reassure everyone that he is THE alpha male and Gamzee is a beta male. Everyone else decided to go to the Bingus Club. They were all dancing and having a good time. Then, surprise! RAIDEN CAMEO!! the TOTALLY REAL RAIDEN as DAVE STRIDER appeared!!! he started doing some REALLY COOL STUFF! like being GAY! Then he disappears again. END OF INTERMISSION I KNOW YOU GUYS ENJOYED THAT.
Jake then finds Roxy sulking around in the streets drinking again. He asks her what's wrong. SF Roxy just mentions how sad she is about everyone fighting or something i cant really remember. Jake says, “Didn’t you already see Chillkat about this, Roxy?” Roxy tells Jake that ever since he "died" that one time (Quote on quote), she went right back to the rabbit hole of alcoholic addiction, and didn't tell anyone. Jake completely misses the point. FF Roxy worries about losing plot relevance. Roxy, in a state of dismay and unawareness of Jake’s ignorance, mentions how she was upset at Western Sullox’s passing. Jake, who is just now finding out about this, is shocked, not believing at first. His husband is.. dead?? It can’t be. Roxy is now perturbed that she has to be the one to break this news to Jake. She regretfully tells Jake that Western Sullox got eaten. Jake became sullen. He heads for the treehouse to decompress. Then he decides that he can’t sit still, and goes to relive all the moments he and Western Sullox had. Roxy felt really really bad about making Jake upset, and drinks more.
Meenah goes in search of Jake, feeling bad for ruining his anniversary. Jake is residing at the saloon, crying his eyes out where he and Western Sullox first met, where they had a fight and then made out on top of the piano over Weezer. Jake goes outside to meet Meenah. They talk there outside. Jake expresses how upset he is with meenah, going so far as to yelling how he hates her, and actually meaning it this time. Meenah, on the verge of apologizing, takes it back upon seeing how riled up Jake is.
SF Roxy messages Jake, wondering where he is. Jake, in such consternation, has broken the one Harley-English rule and only has 1 computer on him. He reluctantly pulls out his skull helmet and asks Meenah to hold on for a second. There he stands, looking like an all-out dolt talking to Roxy through his skull helmet while Meenah, mid-rage, waits awkwardly.
[tipsyGnostalgic started pestering golgothasTerror]
TG: jakey
TG: what r u doin
GT: What is it roxy
TG: r u feeling a lil better
TG: pls say yes i dont like it when ur sadd :(
GT: Well...
GT: I've gotten some of it out
GT: Meenah showed up
TG: okkk...
GT: Gave her a right talking to
GT: I hope when she fell off that balcony it hurt
TG: hey i told u not to say these things jake!!
GT: You won't believe this
TG: I know u have this big ol rivalry and stuff 
GT: She came to apologize AGAIN and then started bashing me 
GT: Roxy, i think were long past rivalry
TG: whuuh? y would she do that?
GT: BECAUSE SHE'S A BAD PERSON ROXY
TG: jakes shes not she just has problems showing that!! :(
GT: Roxy I think you are as in denial as she is
GT: I must go if you need to meet me im at the saloon
TG: um ok
GT: I look like a tool with this helmet on while meenah is crying in front of me.
[tipsyGnostalgic ceased pestering golgothasTerror]
Jake took off his helmet.
Roxy closed her computer, sighing. Her heart felt like it was breaking into a million frowning pieces.
She goes over to the Lesbian McDonald's, where she talks with the smiling noob mascot about how she wished everyone was as happy as he was. She then leaves, feeling oh so lonely.
Jake and Meenah then continue their discussion as it gets even more heated. Meenah leaves fuming. Jake looks behind him and sees a figment of Western Sullox. He cries. A lot.
Then someone ascends by a car on the outside of the saloon??? Who knows what that’s about. It doesn’t become relevant later, I just thought it was interesting.
Roxy sits at the edge of her house, contemplating some things about her life. She could throw a party again, but it could end badly just like last time. Meenah finds her, though, and apologizes about the party. Meenah always meant her apologies to Jake, she says. She really did.
Roxy turned her head to Meenah, a tiny bit shocked, but smiling. 
"rlly?"
"yep", Meenah replies.
"Because I'm your friend."
Roxy looks down again, thinking for a moment, collecting her thoughts. 
"golly I'm just", she clicks her tongue for a moment, "so confused and unhappy and not happy at all which is the same thing..." She was about to say something else, but she realized that she was just rambling again, so she stopped.
"well I'm sorry..." Meenah apologizes again, hearing how Roxy feels.
"i rlly care about u both," Roxy looks out to the city, smile widening. "u and jake"
"so if anything happens with him regarding death, you'd care?", Meenah asks.
"yeah..", Roxy confirms. "of course"
"hes my friend too", Roxy turns to her again, "my buddo", she adds.
Suddenly, something came to Meenah's head again, one of the reasons she came actually.
"hey, you wanna see a cool jar I have?"
"o yeah sure"
And she shows it, but once she does, the house begins to shake.
Roxy’s house turns black and disappears beneath the ground, presumably to dust. After it is destroyed, Meenah gets a sparkly outfit to commemorate the usage of the jar's power. Roxy asks her about her house, and Meenah says she can fix it later.
Jake asks Roxy what just happened, as he is mostly clueless. To which Roxy replies, “I am trusting Meenah. She will bring my house back later.” Jake looks at the bare area where Roxy’s house was, and then turns and looks back at Roxy with a questioning astonished face. Like “you’ve got to be kidding.”
Meenah appears with the pee jar, and announces to everyone the power that she holds with it. To show off that power, Meenah revives Western Sullox. Jake is so ecstatic, but unbelieving at first. Jake asks WSullox if he is real, to which he responds that, yes, he is. They then run and hug each other, telling each other how they miss each other. Western Sullox tells Jake how he’s been watching over him from the afterlife. They weezer each other. They Weezer each other so much.
COME GET YOUR WESTERN SULLOX! BACK FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! Meenah then kills Western Sullox again. Jake cries and holds Western Sullox’s body as he takes his last breaths... again. He cries. Roxy, even with all her hopeful doubts, officially realizes that Meenah is not alright.
Jake immediately rushes to the red chair, saying it’s the only thing that can’t be taken away from him. He sits and sits and sits. He sits, trying to drain the depression out of his skull.
SF Roxy is in bad shape, everything she had known was a falsehood. And worst of all, Jake was upset. Luckily, she encounters Chillkat, who always shows up at the right time. He gives her Emergency School Lawnchair Therapy™. Everyone gathers round to watch, for some reason. Roxy spills her heart out, all that has been bothering her. She says the important, all telling words "sometimes I wonder if there was just a magical wish Makin device to make everyone stop fightin... AND TO MAKE ME STOP EXISTIN!" before running off to cry at the treehouse. Chillkat finds her and talks her through things, then tells her to keep pushing, for Jake. And as fast as he appeared, Chillkat disappears yet again without leaving a trace.
Roxy then pretended to be fine, for everyone's sake, at least until, well... We get to that part later.
Our heroes, who right now I think are Jake, SF Roxy, FF Roxy, Fef, and Gamzee, are informed by Coconut Chuckster and Hella Jeff that Meenah has left the planet to conquer the universe. The worrying thing is that she kidnapped Sovara and put her in one of the seven Lemon Grillby’s. Sovara and her mafia turn out to not be nearly as bad as the Lemons, so she is worth saving. The team decides to go rescue her. Jake comes out of his depression stupor, still feeling sad, but strengthened by the red chair. They all go to a Grillby’s where they meet Coconut Chuckster who is disguised as Sovara. Coconut Chuckster, tells them where to go, and even with her criminal record and everybody being suspicious of her, once Jake says he trusts her for plot convenience, everyone is suddenly ready to go through with her plan. SF Roxy is feeling more conflicted than ever, being told killing Meenah is the only way.
Gamzee runs over some people with his bugatti.
After conquering Hiveswap City, Meenah asks Aranea, who lives in Hiveswap City, for her help (or something like that i really dont know). Aranea agrees.
Everyone then flees from Hiveswap City back into Homestuck City. There they find Meenah with a bunch of Meenah clones. And a bunch of car clones. Jake then calls Meenah and Aranea gay as an insult, then they all argue amongst themselves why they’re using gay as an insult before deciding that calling Meenah and Aranea straight would be inaccurate, so they will just be meaning bad gay. Our heroes then call Meenah and Aranea bad gay. Aranea cannot believe she just got called bad gay! “We will show them we are good gay,” says Aranea. No one listens because it’s Aranea. The two sides then engage in an epic battle. Jake uses his epic fist-fighting skills, FF Roxy wields her The Office-like mug and signature tic tac toe board, Gamzee continues running over people (with Tavros this time), and Fef has her really good singing voice. SF Roxy notices that she is not being attacked. Meenah still cares too much about SF Roxy to attack her, ever. Despite knowing that Meenah is in the wrong, Roxy does not want to fight Meenah, and the Meenahs not fighting back makes it even harder. She only lightly punched the Meenahs. Seriously, all the Meenahs felt like a stuffed animal was hitting them. As clones of Meenah, that put them in a stunned state.
Meenah then sicks all of her clones on Jake alone. The others help as Jake tries to fend them off. FF Roxy then realizes it’s time for her to go to work. The world may be in grave danger, but someone has to be out there working minimum wage jobs. FF Roxy, upon her departure, gives SF Roxy her The Office like mug, and Jake her signature tic tac toe board. They then fight with these items, keeping the spirit of Front-Facing Roxy with them.
Aranea is being sneaky, and nabs the jar from Meenah. Everyone goes defensive mode. Meenah tells Aranea to give the jar back, she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Aranea declines, obviously, then does some evil stuff with the pee jar, such as messing up all of reality as it is.
Meenah knocks her down, freeing the pee jar from her grasp. Everything is static, fading in and out, and glitching around. SF Roxy picks up the jar. She looks at it, peers into its glossy urine-ness. She looks around her. Everything is evolving into chaos. Aranea and Meenah are fighting, Jake is being overwhelmed with Meenah clones because he got distracted, Fef does not feel the presence of Eddie anymore, and Gamzee and Tavros have been flung into the furthest ring. She knows what she has to do.
Roxy opens the jar, and replaces it with herself, removing the jar from existence, and Roxy too. Meenah realizes too late, Jake doesn’t understand what the jar does. They run up to her as she starts to fade. Jake tells her no, why. Meenah puts her head in her hands saying this is all her fault. The one person she cared about was removing herself from reality.. because of her.
Roxy says her goodbyes and assures everyone not to worry as she vanishes with a smile, leaving behind nothing but magic pink sparkles. 
"now everybody can b happy" are her last words.
Jake runs up to her as her transparency rises.. only too late. His hand barely wraps around pink shimmers that likewise faded too soon. Front-Facing Roxy’s tic tac toe board clanks on the ground where Side-Facing Roxy once stood. Jake falls to his knees in defeat. Meenah lands beside him, holding onto him crying about how it is all her fault. The pink sparkles swirl, repairing the world around them, the bright glimmer contrasting with their mucky sorrow. The dimness of the early morning basks them in sincerity. It’s becoming day. This isn’t a dream.
Jake starts breaking down. He feels the tears swell in his eyes yet again. He finally collapses onto Meenah, sharing meager comfort with his adversary.
“I hate you so much,” is all he can uncreatively yell, wailing into Meenah’s shoulder like a little kid.
Aranea lays beat up on the ground. Fef sits down beside them.
And they sit there like that. For a while.
They then decide that they cannot stay there like that, and get up and move over.
Jake then confronts Meenah. He has some new thoughts.
“Meenah, I think maybe we should try to be nice to each other.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s just.. It’s what Roxy would have wanted.”
Meenah appears to be happy at this.
“I think so too.” Meenah awkwardly smiles, then goes in for a hug.
Roxy smiles from above.
They embrace each other, Jake mentioning how he still hates her as they pull apart.
“So, where doing this?” Jake tries using the favorite SBHJ phrase he and Roxy always used together.
Meenah does not catch his drift, though, so Jake has to metaphorically high fives himself after being left hanging like that.
“WHERE MAKING THIS HAPEN!” Jake shouts, doing a movie star pose. The credits roll.
Jake then sits there for 12 minutes with only Weezer and an ad playing in the background to accompany him.
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thumb|444x444px|the whole six hours of filming. i didn't even bother cutting out the times when i flipped to youtube to change the music.