Charlie's Angels/Transcript

==Transcript==
(1) I said, "Look, lady, the seats haven't gotten smaller...
(2) ...your ass has gotten bigger."
(3) I'm sorry, sir. This cabin is restricted to first class.
(4) Are you looking for this?
(5) Can I get you anything?
(6) Scotch. Blended. Straight.
(7) This is your captain speaking.
(8) We've got a report of some turbulence ahead.
(9) Please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts...
(10) ...and remain there until we release the fasten-your-seat-belt sign.
(11) I hear birds can't fly this high.
(12) I hear only angels can.
(13) Where's the bomb?
(14) I am the bomb.
(15) Shall I pour your scotch? No, I'll take the bottle.
(16) Another movie from an old TV show.
(17) What are you gonna do?
(18) Walk out.
(19) Very funny.
(20) No, it isn't.
(21) What are you doing?!
(22) What are you doing?! Get off of me!
(23) Help me! Help me!
(24) Help me! Be careful!
(25) Nice flight?
(26) You crazy bastard!
(27) I think you mean "crazy b***h."
(28) What is this? What's going on here?
(29) Damn, I hate to fly.
(30) No way! No way!
(31) What's with that?! Who are you people?!
(32) Who are you people?!
(33) Once upon a time, there were three very different little girls.
(34) ...who grew up to be three very different women.
(35) making her a five-day champion. Way to go, Natalie.
(36) They have three things in common: They're brilliant, beautiful...
(37) I'm going to be all over you!
(38) You will be kissing my ass
(39) ...and they work for me.
(40) My name is Charlie.
(41) Let's go this way. No!
(42) This way!
(43) Wait. I'm not a yo-yo!
(44) Good morning, Starfish.
(45) Good morning, Chad.
(46) Sweet Chad.
(47) I figured we could have a little breakfast.
(48) And then, maybe, after...
(49) ...we could have a little Chad.
(50) Hold that thought.
(51) Yes, I'll be right in.
(52) Isn't that just the luck?
(53) I can make something besides eggs.
(54) No, it's not the eggs.
(55) Is it the boat?
(56) It's not the boat. I have to go.
(57) Is it the Chad?
(58) It might be the Chad.
(59) It's the Chad!
(60) It's the Chad!
(61) Eduardo, move me.
(62) Good morning.
(63) I signed the waiver, so feel free to stick things in my slot.
(64) Thanks.
(65) No problem.
(66) Hey! I'll be right in.
(67) I want to get one thing straight between us.
(68) Go ahead. We're past keeping secrets at this point.
(69) This is going to be long...
(70) ...hard and rough.
(71) Sometimes when it's rough, I just get there faster.
(72) If you don't defuse this bomb, L.A. will be an underwater attraction.
(73) Which wire? The red one or the blue one?
(74) That is not helping.
(75) Ooh, my muffins.
(76) This is stupid, anyway. Why wouldn't I just yank the wire?
(77) They're dummy wires, honey. The real mechanism is inside.
(78) Trip the external feedback circuit, the bomb will detonate.
(79) Wow.
(80) For a bikini waxer, you know a lot about bombs.
(81) Isn't it amazing how much information you can learn off the internet?
(82) I'll be right there.
(83) When do I get to meet this Charlie?
(84) Charlie's not a very social person.
(85) But Charlie's a chick though, right?
(86) I mean, definitely a woman, right?
(87) I can't keep up this facade with Jason anymore.
(88) Who wants a man who's intimidated by a strong woman?
(89) They come on nice until they find out I can shatter a block with my head.
(90) I love that trick.
(91) Blueberry muffins.
(92) I made them from scratch.
(93) Yum.
(94) Sounds good.
(95) These look great, Alex.
(96) Oh, my God.
(97) What's this?
(98) Chinese fighting muffin.
(99) Nothing to laugh about.
(100) My buddy took a fighting muffin in the chest, he went home in 4 Ziploc bags.
(101) They're not Chinese. They're not fighting. They're blueberry.
(102) Are you okay?
(103) She's having secret-identity trouble.
(104) Aren't we all?
(105) Scoot.
(106) Alex...
(107) ...all my Angels...
(108) ...the heart is a muscle.
(109) In body building, we exercise the muscle...
(110) ...and it grows bigger and stronger.
(111) It's the same with the heart.
(112) I must have the heart of a rhino.
(113) You do. Be proud of it.
(114) Mes Anges...
(115) ...these little hurts will heal.
(116) And at crunch time, your hearts will be so buff...
(117) ...you'll be able to clean and jerk his love...
(118) ...three sets, 1 0 reps each.
(119) Thanks, Bos.
(120) Excuse me. I have to take a phone call.
(121) Good morning, Angels.
(122) Good morning, Charlie.
(123) Dylan, Alex, Natalie, I hope you're ready for your next assignment.
(124) Meet Eric Knox, a brilliant engineer and founder of Knox Technologies...
(125) ...an up-and-coming communications software company.
(126) Last night, Knox was kidnapped...
(127) ...and his voice-identification software was stolen.
(128) Who's the lady?
(129) Vivian Wood, president of Knox Technologies.
(130) Oh, she did it.
(131) I guess we can all go home then.
(132) Angels, meet Vivian Wood, our new client.
(133) She's hired us to find Eric Knox.
(134) Hello.
(135) Who'd have the most to gain from Knox's disappearance?
(136) Me, probably. I'm his partner.
(137) Before we were partners...
(138) ...we were friends.
(139) Does Knox have any enemies?
(140) Roger Corwin. He's owner...
(141) ...of Red Star, the largest communications satellite firm.
(142) Six months ago, he tried to buy Knox Technologies.
(143) When Knox refused to sell, Corwin lost it.
(144) Charming.
(145) Was there a ransom demand?
(146) Nothing. But I know he's still alive.
(147) I'll study the garage footage. Something may be there.
(148) So Corwin is our only lead. Hopefully, he'll take us to Knox.
(149) Corwin gets a weekly massage at Madame Wong's House of Blossoms.
(150) That's our chance to feel him out.
(151) He said what?
(152) "Over my dead body"?
(153) I can accept those terms.
(154) It's getting a little chilly in here, Yoko. I could use some warming up.
(155) At your service.
(156) Good.
(157) Could we get started this millennium?
(158) Banzai!
(159) Ooh, yeah.
(160) You're holding a lot of tension...
(161) ...in your 4th and 5th vertebrae.
(162) I know.
(163) Let me see if I can work that...
(164) ...out.
(165) By activating the right energy points, you can increase circulation...
(166) ...alleviate pain...
(167) ...or even...
(168) ...render a man unconscious.
(169) Okay, let's go.
(170) Palm Pilot.
(171) Got the car key.
(172) I got his schedule.
(173) You must have dozed off.
(174) You're very good...
(175) ...with your hands.
(176) I could use someone like you on my staff.
(177) Thanks for the offer, but my hands aren't going anywhere near your staff.
(178) If Corwin is behind Knox's disappearance...
(179) ...someone else is doing his dirty work.
(180) How's it coming with the kidnapping footage?
(181) I'm enhancing a reflection from the car window.
(182) May I take your order?.
(183) Three cheeseburgers, three French fries and three cherry pies.
(184) What do you guys want?
(185) Here's one of the kidnappers.
(186) Creepy Thin Man.
(187) Now we just look for him.
(188) And see if he works for Corwin.
(189) What's Corwin doing tonight?
(190) Who's up for crashing a party?
(191) Bos.
(192) Thanks, Nat. No problem.
(193) It's a mic-transmitter. Put it on your back molar.
(194) I know. It's a mouth-mic.
(195) We'll be able to always stay in touch.
(196) We're in deep cover now, so if...
(197) ...you can't remember John David, just call me J.D. Think of....
(198) Jelly doughnut. Jack Daniels.
(199) Juvenile delinquents. John DeLorean.
(200) There's your date, J.D.
(201) Excuse me, ladies.
(202) Roger Corwin. Welcome.
(203) John David Rage, self-help guru.
(204) John David Rage?
(205) Relax, Bos. Order a drink.
(206) Excuse me. Miss?
(207) Hi...miss.
(208) A hammerhead, please. No problem.
(209) Any creepy thin men?
(210) Lots of creepy, none thin.
(211) l was wondering if No.
(212) So there's no chance No.
(213) That's incredible.
(214) What is?
(215) Your smile.
(216) Thanks.
(217) This place, it's Japanese, is it not?
(218) It's a 1 3th-century Shinto temple.
(219) I had it....
(220) I had it FedEx'd from Kyoto.
(221) Blowfish?
(222) Isn't that poisonous?
(223) It's a rare delicacy for the man who has no fear of an excruciating death.
(224) Technically, 1 in 60 is fatal.
(225) Tastes like chicken.
(226) That would go very nicely with broccoli.
(227) The man laughs at death.
(228) Good work, Bos. Get him to talk about Knox.
(229) At last, a worthy adversary.
(230) Let's see if you can survive a test of intuition and judgment.
(231) Nat, that bartender is cute.
(232) I'm working.
(233) He likes you. Go back and flirt a little.
(234) That was fast.
(235) I'm not called Balls-Out Natalie for nothing.
(236) Right.
(237) I never saw you working here before.
(238) I'm new. I'm like a virgin. I mean, it's my first time...
(239) ...here at Corwin's.
(240) Oh, boy. She's going down.
(241) No way. He's into her.
(242) Just pick up the tray and walk away.
(243) No, no. Stay. Stay and talk to him.
(244) Flip your hair.
(245) Flip your goddamn hair.
(246) Excuse me. I don't usually do this, but I was wondering
(247) Unless you're already seeing someone else.
(248) Yeah.
(249) Of course you are. No!
(250) I'm not seeing anyone.
(251) Free.
(252) Okay, Thursday?
(253) My favorite day.
(254) Great. I'll get tickets.
(255) I love tickets.
(256) What do you know? A guy who speaks Natalie.
(257) Where's J.D.?
(258) Will somebody help me up, please?
(259) Hello, girls? Are you hearing me?
(260) Thin Man, 1 0:00.
(261) Why do they always run?
(262) Watch it!
(263) Nat!
(264) Brace!
(265) Jump!
(266) Check them all!
(267) Clear! Clear!
(268) Clear!
(269) Knox.
(270) Great work, Angels, but our job's only half-finished.
(271) There 's still the matter of Mr. Knox's stolen technology.
(272) What's so special about your software?
(273) It's.... It's really quite amazing.
(274) We developed a program. You see, everyone's voice is unique.
(275) It has a unique signature...
(276) ...like a snowflake. And it can be mapped
(277) Audio DNA. It makes it impossible to disguise or scramble a voice signal.
(278) Which is why Corwin wants it.
(279) Of course. All Red Star's satellites have global positioning systems.
(280) Combine that with voice identification
(281) any cell phone could be a homing device.
(282) No one could hide.
(283) Imagine how dangerous this would be in the wrong hands.
(284) The end of privacy.
(285) That's where you come in, Angels.
(286) Corwin is premiering his Red Star racer at the California Speedway.
(287) Our chance to plant a hidden camera on Corwin.
(288) Looks like it's off to the races, Angels.
(289) When Roger Corwin first got involved in the world of racing...
(290) ...a lot of people said it was a stopgap for my waning libido.
(291) I had them all fired.
(292) What's so funny? I did.
(293) Thanks for coming to this little test run.
(294) Nat...
(295) ...I'm going in.
(296) But what can I say?
(297) It's a Red Star day for me.
(298) Then it's back to the day-to-day grind...
(299) ...of world domination and enslavement.
(300) Hi.
(301) Work your magic.
(302) It's hot out there.
(303) It's hot in here too.
(304) Maybe I can make you more comfortable.
(305) Oh, I've come undone.
(306) That feels good.
(307) Thank you.
(308) I like what you've done with it.
(309) Ours has bigger mirrors.
(310) I love cars.
(311) You like fast cars?
(312) I like fast everything.
(313) Oh, my God.
(314) Thanks for the ride.
(315) You're welcome.
(316) Mission accomplished. Tomorrow, Corwin will give us a tour of Red Star.
(317) Ride 'em, cowboy. Make me proud.
(318) Nat!
(319) What's going on?
(320) We got a friend on the track.
(321) That creep from Chinatown.
(322) Creepy Thin Man.
(323) It's a round track. He's not going anywhere.
(324) She's going after him.
(325) The micro camera has allowed us to study Red Star's layout.
(326) The mainframe is right behind that door.
(327) That's where my software would be, but the security looks incredible.
(328) Restricted access. Fingerprint I.D.
(329) Retinal scanner.
(330) Angels, break it down.
(331) Only two Red Star directors can access the mainframe.
(332) To gain access, they have to synchronize their entrance.
(333) A gelatin scanning plate takes exact fingerprints.
(334) A laser accurate to .009 millimeters scans the retina.
(335) It is accessible only through a monitored airless antechamber.
(336) There's only one way to get through undetected: Be invisible.
(337) The floor is rigged with pressure sensitivity.
(338) Any contact exceeding .25 seconds triggers the alarm.
(339) Sounds impossible.
(340) Sounds like fun.
(341) Director 1
(342) Director 2
(343) Mein Siegenbock ist sexy!
(344) They got the wrong address.
(345) You ready to whip them into shape, Alex?
(346) You must be Miss Aarons. I'm Doris.
(347) Sorry about the confusion.
(348) I had you scheduled for next week. I don't know what happened.
(349) That's what I'm here to find out.
(350) You are the efficiency expert.
(351) Yes.
(352) I am.
(353) B***h.
(354) I heard that.
(355) Your methodologies are antiquated and weak.
(356) Your procedures of approval ensure that only the least radical ideas...
(357) ...are rewarded.
(358) Meanwhile, your competition is innovating!
(359) Ow.
(360) You.
(361) What was the last suggestion you made?
(362) To make the Coke machine free.
(363) Why?
(364) Caffeine helps us program.
(365) Perfect. Smart...
(366) ...simple and logical.
(367) What did your boss say?
(368) He said no.
(369) Question!
(370) Who builds this company's products?
(371) You do.
(372) Engineers do.
(373) Not managers.
(374) They should be answering to you, not you to them!
(375) Who else has an idea like this man's Coke machine?
(376) All right! Tell me.
(377) Better yet...
(378) ...can anyone show me?
(379) Red Star Mainframe Level 4
(380) It's not working.
(381) There 's only one way to get through undetected: Be invisible.
(382) The floor is rigged with pressure sensitivity.
(383) Any contact which exceeds .25 seconds will trigger the alarm.
(384) Thank you, sir.
(385) I hope you don't mind if we look around.
(386) So we have complete access to Red Star's computer.
(387) And they have no idea we can peek inside.
(388) You guys are tremendous. Thanks.
(389) I need evidence of Knox Technologies software in the Red Star system.
(390) Where is it? Bosley has it in the laptop.
(391) It has a direct link to the Red Star mainframe.
(392) Bosley?
(393) Maybe we should be doing our own analysis.
(394) Surely Eric would be the best person to
(395) Our goal was to learn if Red Star had stolen your software.
(396) It would be unethical to let you access their systems.
(397) If we get proof, we'll tell you.
(398) That makes sense. That's cool. Right?
(399) Right, Viv?
(400) You know, Knox may not be out of danger yet.
(401) Smile. Don't panic the client.
(402) One of us should check security at his house.
(403) Absolutely. I agree.
(404) Everything okay? Yeah. Nothing up here.
(405) Wow, that was cool.
(406) Who's the Green Beret?
(407) My dad.
(408) That's nice.
(409) That's the guy who killed him.
(410) Yeah. They were in Army Intelligence together.
(411) This was his best friend and he turned on him.
(412) I'm sorry.
(413) Thanks.
(414) Why do you keep it?
(415) To remind me: Be careful who you trust. Don't take any wooden nickels.
(416) What about you? Did you ever have parents?
(417) I mean-- I know you have parents, but I mean
(418) Where's your mom?
(419) She died when I was 6, and I never met my father.
(420) You never met your father?
(421) Now you work for...
(422) ...a man you've never seen.
(423) That's an interesting trend.
(424) That was smooth.
(425) Want to play Scrabble?
(426) Don't worry about it. I got somebody
(427) That's okay.
(428) What are they called? You know....
(429) So, okay.
(430) This is a panic button. Okay.
(431) If you just press it, then any one of us...
(432) ...whoever's closest, will be here if there's any problem.
(433) Like that? Okay. Right now, that would be you.
(434) But you don't have a problem.
(435) Yeah, I do.
(436) I don't know...
(437) ...how to make chicken.
(438) Scrabble?
(439) Shake 'N Bake?
(440) I'll shake, you bake?
(441) I want to shake.
(442) Hey, Pete. How's it going?
(443) Good. How are you? Good. It's good to see you.
(444) You want your ticket? All right!
(445) Thanks for giving me a chance. l wanted to see you.
(446) Really? Yeah.
(447) You look great. Thank you.
(448) I've thought a lot about us.
(449) No, no, no. I know you have something to say...
(450) ...but I have something to say too.
(451) I've been thinking a lot about you and me and, well, us.
(452) And I know that we have these crazy lives, but I can't help it.
(453) I love you.
(454) Searching Red Star mainframe for Knox Technologies software.
(455) Software not detected.
(456) Coming.
(457) Hello.
(458) Trick or treat for UNICEF.
(459) That's a very nice costume, young lady.
(460) It glows in the dark.
(461) I hope you like to dance.
(462) Are you kidding? I love to dance!
(463) You. You want to dance on-stage?
(464) Us?
(465) Yes!
(466) No, the stage is for the ladies.
(467) Oh, never mind. I'll just find a spot on the floor.
(468) No, no, wait.
(469) This is Soul Train's highest honor.
(470) I won't let you not go up there. Yeah, she'll go.
(471) Really? I've always wanted to go up there!
(472) Have a great time.
(473) Okay. I'll be back.
(474) Ms. Wood, there are some lines that I never cross.
(475) Lines have never stopped me.
(476) It's "Miss." And it's "Vivian."
(477) Okay. Miss Vivian.
(478) Okay, Miss Vivian. You're a pro.
(479) I mean, you're not a pro, but you're an executive.
(480) We must keep our relationship professional.
(481) May l?
(482) I'll get you a glass.
(483) She's pretty great, isn't she?
(484) I said, she's pretty great, right?
(485) You guys are in really good shape.
(486) Definitely. Definitely.
(487) All right. The Robot!
(488) Go, white girl! Go, white girl!
(489) That's old school, right? Definitely.
(490) I'm Pete. How are you?
(491) The Running Man! Look!
(492) Incredible! It was great!
(493) I'm having so much fun! This is so exciting!
(494) You know, I have to go number one.
(495) Look...
(496) ...what I'm trying to say is...
(497) ...will you marry me?
(498) Oh, no, baby! Baby?!
(499) Baby?! God, no.
(500) Damn you, Salazar.
(501) Damn you, Salazar!
(502) Cut!
(503) Was that over the top? It felt over the top.
(504) No. That is the best shot, the best scene, the best movie on the planet!
(505) Hi.
(506) How was your day? Great.
(507) You know how superheroes have these secret identities, where they
(508) No. No superheroes.
(509) You're an action star. I get a lot of action.
(510) That is so lame.
(511) Hey, girls, you having fun?
(512) I'm having so much fun I could just die.
(513) Jason, I'm one-third of an elite crime-fighting team...
(514) ...backed by an anonymous millionaire.
(515) Yes, that's it.
(516) What are you doing here?
(517) Perfect.
(518) Come on! Go! Hit it!
(519) Murphy O'Meyer...
(520) ...that does it.
(521) Who sent you?
(522) Who?!
(523) Woo-- Woo
(524) Who? Woo
(525) Vivian Spit it out!
(526) Vivian Wood!
(527) You b***h.
(528) I love a fire.
(529) Hey.
(530) Oh, my God! You're hit!
(531) No. I mean, the squibs hurt a bit when they go off, but I'm fine.
(532) What happened to my trailer?
(533) I haven't been honest with you.
(534) Were you in there when that happened? Look at it.
(535) I'm not a bikini waxer.
(536) Bummer. I mean, that was kind of a turn-on.
(537) I have to go.
(538) Charlie? Yeah.
(539) I have to go, but will you call me tomorrow?
(540) Of course. Great. Thanks.
(541) Excuse me.
(542) You're bad.
(543) Guys, finally you warm up a bit.
(544) Dylan? It's Nat. Vivian Wood is a fake and an all-around b***h.
(545) Her assassin just paid me a visit. We gotta warn Knox.
(546) I'm at his house now.
(547) You are?
(548) You know what?
(549) Call Alex and meet me at the agency.
(550) Dylan! S***.
(551) Don't stand next to the window, it's not safe.
(552) Toga.
(553) Listen, I just found out that Who's that?
(554) Working undercover?
(555) It's a full-service job.
(556) I'll bet.
(557) I can see by your "gown" that you're unarmed.
(558) Some maniac could just stroll in and blow you both to bits.
(559) Viv, you're obsessed. All work and no play makes Viv a dull girl.
(560) I have to tie up some loose ends here, so take a seat.
(561) Want some champagne?
(562) "Enemy."
(563) I know.
(564) Sad news.
(565) Your girlfriends are dead.
(566) And Corwin?
(567) I don't think it's gonna work out, you and me.
(568) Which is a real bummer, since you, Dylan...
(569) ...are a tomcat in the sack.
(570) Let me get this straight. You're a woman. Women have natural intuition.
(571) And you're a detective. And you had no idea that this was going to happen?
(572) l knew. She knew.
(573) And I know what'll happen next.
(574) Tell her, baby.
(575) All the Angels are going to heaven.
(576) And Bosley?
(577) We'll keep him. We like him. And his computer.
(578) He's special.
(579) Corwin had nothing to do with this.
(580) No. But I never really liked him.
(581) And the kidnapping was a setup. Afraid so.
(582) And Red Star was a setup.
(583) You got it all figured out. Any other questions?
(584) Why?
(585) Ask your boss.
(586) Charlie?
(587) You're after Charlie.
(588) Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
(589) They say that in death...
(590) ...all life's questions are answered.
(591) Will you let me know?
(592) Let's go get Charlie.
(593) Come on.
(594) Are you all right?
(595) What's going on? Something's going on.
(596) Where's Dylan?
(597) They say in death, all life's questions are answered.
(598) Will you let me know?
(599) What are we doing? House of Pancakes? Sizzler?
(600) You are the cheapest man on the planet.
(601) What did it look like?
(602) Oh, I don't know. It was, like, all cool and stuff.
(603) You've never seen a booby.
(604) Have too. Have not.
(605) I've seen lots of boobies. Yeah, right.
(606) A little help?
(607) Don't ask.
(608) Where's Knox? Is he okay?
(609) Oh, he's great. He's the bad guy.
(610) The kidnapping was a setup. He's behind it all.
(611) What? Why?
(612) He wasn't exactly forthcoming when he shot me out the window.
(613) Bosley!
(614) He's safe! Knox already has him.
(615) Wait a minute.
(616) Let me get this straight.
(617) Bosley's with the man...
(618) ...who tried to kill us. That's safe?
(619) He won't kill Bosley until he kills Charlie.
(620) Kills Charlie?
(621) Oh, Jesus.
(622) I don't know what his plan is, but I know that we can stop him.
(623) If Knox thinks we're dead, why blow up the agency?
(624) Why does he want Charlie?
(625) We do know that he wanted us to break into Red Star.
(626) Imagine how dangerous this would be in the wrong hands.
(627) Knox used us to access the mainframe not to get back his software...
(628) ...but for control of their global positioning satellites.
(629) Knox's software can match Charlie's voice over the phone.
(630) And use Red Star satellites to track him.
(631) But why would Knox go to so much trouble to find Charlie?
(632) That's the guy who killed him.
(633) They were in Army Intelligence together.
(634) His best friend turned on him.
(635) Knox thinks Charlie killed his father.
(636) So if he can intercept Charlie's call...
(637) ...he can locate him.
(638) But Knox has to get Charlie on the phone first.
(639) But the only one Charlie calls is Bosley.
(640) May I have some ice water, please?
(641) Fly to me, Angels! Please come!
(642) Please fly to me, Angels!
(643) I had a long talk with a squirrel once.
(644) Longer than I've talked to most humans.
(645) Hello?
(646) Hello?
(647) Hello. Hello out there.
(648) Any sign of Bosley's laptop?
(649) They must have taken it.
(650) We should check Knox's place. Let's go.
(651) I'll drive.
(652) Angels?! Angels, help me!
(653) Bosley?
(654) Angels!
(655) We begin our broadcast day! Come and get me, girls!
(656) If you can follow the sound of my voice, then draw some...
(657) ...triangles or something...
(658) ...to get to this location and save me!
(659) Is there a way to trace him?
(660) Even with our equipment, he'd have to be within 20 miles.
(661) The place I'm in looks like Cher's bedroom.
(662) And it stinks.
(663) Tell us where you are.
(664) It smells like the ocean.
(665) And if I look out the window, I see the ocean.
(666) He could be anywhere this half of North America.
(667) Jack...
(668) ...tell them where I am.
(669) What?
(670) It's a Sitta pygmaea!
(671) A pygmy nuthatch!
(672) They only live in one place!
(673) Carmel!
(674) I can't tell you anything else, except...
(675) ...this feels like the first day of the last of my life.
(676) Or the last day of the first of my life, or something.
(677) I have a lighthouse, two hotels, seven manor houses...
(678) ...one owned by the National Parks, one by Nick Xero Corporation
(679) Is that spelled with an "X" or a "Z"? "X."
(680) It's an anagram.
(681) Rearranged, it's "Eric Knox."
(682) Scrabble freak.
(683) An old tunnel leads down to the shore.
(684) A sea approach is the best way to get in undetected. We'll need a boat.
(685) And a cover. We can't use the speedboat.
(686) Head to the marina.
(687) Chad, does this thing go any faster?
(688) We're in a hurry, and I could open it up if you let me drive.
(689) I'm sorry, friend of Starfish. There's only one captain of this love boat.
(690) That captain is me...
(691) ...the Chad.
(692) The Chad.
(693) Chad, captain of the love boat.
(694) The Chad.
(695) We're kind of in a hurry.
(696) I'm the Chad.
(697) Knox Technologies voice identification software download confirmed.
(698) Red Star satellite network uplink confirmed.
(699) Revenge is fun.
(700) I have to say, Starfish, I am honored...
(701) ...that you've taken an interest in my work. And I think you're very pretty.
(702) Starfish?
(703) Where are you going?
(704) Starfish, are you going swimming? Where are you going?
(705) Where are you going again?
(706) Starfish?
(707) Was it the Chad?
(708) No! The Chad was great!
(709) The Chad was great.
(710) I'll tap the signal from the roof.
(711) I'll deal with Knox. I'll bring our Bosley back.
(712) "I don't know how to make chicken."
(713) Jerk.
(714) Dylan.
(715) Thank God you're alive.
(716) You know my better half.
(717) It figures I'd meet the perfect guy and he'd already have a perfect girl.
(718) Hello, blondie.
(719) Her girlfriend's here.
(720) Jimmy, Paulie, go secure Bosley, would you?
(721) Like now, now, now, now.
(722) Bos?
(723) Bosley? Natalie?
(724) Natalie, is that you?
(725) Behind this door.
(726) Bosley, I'm so happy to see you!
(727) We're all here. I'll get you out.
(728) Red wire.
(729) Blue wire.
(730) GPS phone tap.
(731) Pygmy nuthatch.
(732) I'm getting tickled. Who's calling now?
(733) It's Pete!
(734) Hello?
(735) Hi, Pete. How are you?
(736) Good. You said you wanted me to call.
(737) I did want you to call. I mean, I do want you to.
(738) Ask if he can call you back.
(739) I'm so happy to hear from you.
(740) I wanted to talk. I like spending time with you.
(741) I'd like to see more of you, maybe in a continuous block.
(742) I know. It's just been crazy this week at work.
(743) Watch your back!
(744) Use the sleeper.
(745) Never send a man to do a woman's job.
(746) Nice work, Natalie. Thanks, Bosley.
(747) Pete? Hi.
(748) You know, under different circumstances...
(749) ...we'd have made a great couple.
(750) If you hadn't shot me out a window and tried to kill everyone I love...
(751) ...we could have had a chance.
(752) Can you keep a secret?
(753) I mean, you can't tell anyone.
(754) That you're disgusting?
(755) You have the fullest, sweetest...
(756) ...most luscious...
(757) ...lips I have ever...
(758) ...kissed.
(759) I just gotta take this call.
(760) Nine o'clock, Charlie. Right on time.
(761) Enter. Come on.
(762) Mr. Bosley's phone, Eric Knox speaking.
(763) Mr. Knox? This is Charles Townsend.
(764) I'm delighted the Angels helped you. Are you in the office?
(765) Hang up, Charlie. He's almost got you.
(766) We're all at the beach, having mimosas. Can you join us?
(767) I'll take a rain check, Eric. Is Bosley there?
(768) He went to the men's room. He'll be right back.
(769) No, wait. He's coming.
(770) Bosley?
(771) Okay, here we go.
(772) That's not him. Sorry.
(773) Can you hold on one second longer?
(774) Not a problem.
(775) Pete? Can you hold on a second?
(776) Sure.
(777) I like him so much.
(778) Hey, Bos.
(779) Bosley?
(780) He's coming, sir.
(781) Sorry, not him.
(782) Can I take a message?
(783) Just tell him I called, as planned.
(784) Gotcha.
(785) Just one more sec.
(786) Is this a bad time?
(787) You seem a little distracted.
(788) Is this the famous Charlie?
(789) No, this is Pete.
(790) Hey! I like that guy!
(791) That man's got a beautiful telephone voice.
(792) That's one more daddy you'll never know.
(793) Bad news.
(794) I have to leave.
(795) I gotta go torture and kill your boss.
(796) Mikey, Jerry...
(797) ...you guys like angel cake?
(798) Do you know how hard it is to find a quality man in Los Angeles?
(799) Don't take my lighter.
(800) Wait, wait, wait! I have something to tell you.
(801) By the time this is over...
(802) ...all of you will be facedown on the floor...
(803) ...and I'll moon-walk out of here.
(804) You're not listening to me.
(805) First, you're going to help me out of my chair.
(806) Then I'll leapfrog over you...
(807) ...before I break his nose.
(808) Since my trusty lighter...
(809) ...isn't working, I'll do all this with my hands tied behind my back.
(810) Get her!
(811) King Kong palm.
(812) Buddha on lotus.
(813) And that's kicking your ass.
(814) Alex!
(815) Thanks, Bos!
(816) Come on, we'll miss happy hour.
(817) He's heading north, just past Paradise Cove!
(818) Oh, boy, they found him. That's Charlie's cabin.
(819) You've seen it? You've seen Charlie?
(820) I am his trusted friend and employee.
(821) You've met Charlie?
(822) What do you mean, "met"?
(823) You've seen him with your own eyes.
(824) I saw his hand.
(825) It could have been anyone's hand.
(826) Let's see if I can win the teddy bear!
(827) Sorry, Charlie.
(828) Get Dylan! The missile's making a round trip!
(829) Dylan!
(830) Let's go!
(831) Charlie.
(832) You guys...
(833) ...we're finally meeting Charlie.
(834) Do I look okay?
(835) Should we knock?
(836) Charlie?
(837) Good morning, Angels.
(838) Sorry I couldn't stick around.
(839) We're so happy you're okay, Charlie.
(840) I'm just fine, Angels. Mission accomplished?
(841) I think the client was blown away.
(842) Eric Knox was born John McCadden.
(843) It seems his life's mission was to bring me down.
(844) His dad was in my Army Intelligence unit, working as a double agent.
(845) When he was discovered, the other side killed him.
(846) I guess that's not the story Knox heard.
(847) Charlie, I've really enjoyed working on this assignment...
(848) ...and I eagerly anticipate returning to work.
(849) Bosley's had one too many Buddhas.
(850) He's definitely had a few.
(851) I have a team rebuilding the office.
(852) It'll be better than new when you get back.
(853) Thank you, Charlie.
(854) Is there any chance you'll be joining us, Charlie?
(855) I'd love to, Angels.
(856) But I have some precious treasures to watch over.
(857) Come on, Charlie, it'll be fun.
(858) We're drinking from coconuts and Buddhas.
(859) How will we ever know you truly exist...
(860) ...unless you come have a coconut with us?
(861) Faith, Angels. It's called faith.
(862) To Charlie.
(863) To Charlie.
(864) To Charlie.
(865) To Charlie.
(866) Let me toast you ladies, with some ice cubes!
(867) Safe!
(868) I have to go. I'm so sorry.
(869) I should go. I really should.
(870) Let's see if I can win the teddy bear!
(871) The Chad is great.
(872) He's great. He's great.
(873) The Chad is great. He's great.
(874) The Chad is great.
(875) The Chad is stuck.
(876) I'm having helmet problems.
(877) I'm having serious helmet problems.
(878) Nice!
Category:Transcripts
Category:Columbia Pictures Transcripts