Headhunters 3: The Fantastic Fourteen

==Introduction==
Hey, I'm on time this week! Go me, huh?
==In Memorium: Hasta Laviska Baby==
Has there ever been a fall like this in Headhunters? 
Hasta Laviska finished in first place two weeks ago with a 235.97 that included a 20+ performance from six players and another from his defense. Players on that week four team included Barkely (OUT), Toney (OUT), Parker (OUT), Golladay (OUT), Goedert (OUT), and Davis (BYE). It has been a descent into awfulness since then. In week five Hasta dropped from 1st to 6th, with Parker, Golladay, and Barkely getting hurt mid-game. Not much you can do about that, and luckily they were able to survive off 75.63 points from Lamar Jackson. Side note: can we talk about how cartoonish these QB numbers are? 
But the team was not able to recover in week six. All those players listed above were out, and the worst part was that Hasta didn't take Parker out of the lineup. For the second week in a row, was a team was tripped up by time zones? Parker played in the 930am game, and with Hasta living the lavish lifestyle of the rich and Laviska maybe there was no chance he was waking up in time to set his lineup before kickoff. Sort of interesting that he once spent six months in London and now the London game sent him packing after six weeks in Headhunters. 
But what was a boy to do? His enire bench was full of players that should be starters and could not have possibly been dropped. Should Hasta have tried to work a trade? Would he have been able to sell a player like Barkley for a couple assets that got him through the week? It is worth getting through the week if you lose starpower? It's impossible to know for sure what could have been, but I think it's worth noting that when you're faced with elimination it's probably better to sell talent for warm bodies than to be sent home in a bodybag. 
Glorio the great is a merciful God, but don't test his ass. He can forgive being in a different time zone, but he cannot tolerate two weeks in a row starting the same hurt player. And thus, a manager I was praising just two short weeks ago for being better than ever before goes out sad.
"I'll be Back." - Not Hasta Laviska, because he's eliminated.
==Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)==
Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)
Team 	2021 Finish	2020 Finish	2019 Finish
Pats a bitch 	20th (-1) 	19th 	N/A
It's Blitz! Track 2	19th (-16) 	3rd (-2) 	1st
Shotti's Bugatti 	18th (-5) 	13th 	N/A
Hasta Laviska Baby 	17th (-7) 	10th (+2) 	12th
==Dead Money==
Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.
Dead Money
Dead Money	% of Total Eliminated Cash
$3,777 	94%
==Week Seven-Twelve - The Great Purge==
That's right motherfuckers! It's the return of the #WheelOfFate. Now I must admit, double-eliminations suck for the poor bastard who gets clipped without finishing in last. But that's the price you pay when you have this many teams and only 17-weeks to kill them all. So here is how it works for the uninitiated (Roger):
Every Thursday before kickoff I will live stream from the Facebook group. Last year we did this on Sundays after the late afternoon games but that was only because we had non-elimination weeks in the wheel and I wanted to prevent the entire league from benching their lineups and taking the week off. This year that isn't the case and I'm curious if the knowledge of a double-elim will lead to more trades/scrambling prior to the Sunday slots.
During the stream, I will take a spin of the "wheel of fate." On this wheel are six options. Four are single-elimination. Two are double-elimination. If it lands on double-elimination, the bottom two teams are getting chopped that week. 
This does give one big advantage to Mixon Beer, who holds the immunity idol that can be used one time between weeks seven and twelve. Mixon Beer can play the idol any time up until the late afternoon kickoffs at 4:05 eastern, so he very well could wait until a poor performance during a double-elim week and use that sucker to advance. Last season the idol was wasted on a week when the team didn't even need it. How will it play out this season?
==New Releases==
Really weird week of waiver additions since all the best guys are hurt. Does that take away their value? Or will people still bid big?
#Lamar Jackson
#Saquon Barkley
#Kadarius Toney
#D'Andre Swift
#Dallas Goedert
==Week Six Bidding Results==
Week Six Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid	Next Highest Bid
Travis Kelce 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	$700 	$350 (Who the Fuck?)
Damien Harris 	The Guilloteam 	$110 	$51 (Last Matts Standing)
Tee Higgins 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	$101 	$88 (Hasta Laviska)
Adam Thielen 	The Guilloteam 	$101 	$100 (Hasta Laviska)
Melvin Gordon III 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	$100 	NA
Allen Robinson 	CP 	$69 	$21 (Return of the Mac)
Zach Ertz 	Last Matts Standing 	$25 	$0 (The Titanic)
Amon-Ra St. Brown 	Sloppy Seconds 	$13 	NA
Los Angeles Rams Defense	The Guilloteam 	$10 	$2 (Sloppy Seconds)
Marlon Mack 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	$2 	NA
==== Quick-hit thoughts====
*Damien Harris went for $205 last week and just $110 this week, a common trend in Headhunters for a player to go for around 50% LESS in their second cycle through the waiver wire. The reason for this? Typically the first time a player is won, the manager has overbid by a significant margin. Once that manager is eliminated, it also eliminates the one manager who valued the player that high. 
*CP with the beautiful ode to It's Blitz!
*$700 for Kelce may shock you but it's the same number that Hill went for in the same week last season. Doesn't make it right. 
*Am I the only one who doesn't quite understand the excitement around Tee Higgens? I can't understand how he would go for the same amount as Adam Thielen. 
*
Last Year's most expensive week six player: Tyreek Hill ($700)
== Money Spent Per Week ==
Money Spent Per Week
Week	Budget Spent 	Budget Spent (2020)	Budget Spent (2019)
2 	$9 (2 Players) 	$1173 (12 Players) 	$1339 (7 Players)
3 	$1283 (10 Players)	$1033 (7 Players) 	$1902 (15 Players)
4 	$657 (8 Players) 	$1182 (11 Players) 	$1614 (11 Players)
5 	$1376 (11 Players)	$181 (4 Players) 	1743 (14 Players)
6 	$1231 (10 Players)	$1542 (10 Players) 	$1018 (11 Players)
==Week Six Results==
Week SixResults
Finish (Last Week)	Player 	Total Points
1(5) 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	239.21
2(13) 	Sloppy Seconds 	221.03
3(11) 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	213.20
4(1) 	The Titanic 	194.28
5(9) 	CP 	191.62
6(10) 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	176.16
7(15) 	The Guilloteam 	172.84
8(12) 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	172.67
9(3) 	Beach McBungalow 	165.15
10(7) 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	154.29
11(14) 	Return of the Mac 	153.57
12(2) 	Last Matts Standing 	153.35
13(4) 	Bad VRs 	153.08
14(8) 	Out of Luck 	121.70
15(6) 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	98.46
16 	Shotti's Bugatti 	0
17 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	0
18 	Bad Boys 	0
19 	Henry VIII 	0
20 	Pats a bitch 	0
*Biggest Climber: Sloppy Seconds (^11)
*Biggest Faller: Last Matts Standing (v10)
==2021 Draft Dodgers ==
Team Results Based on Draft Position
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Beach McBungalow 	ALIVE
2 	Return of the Mac 	ALIVE
3 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	ALIVE
4 	Bad Boys 	MERGED
5 	Pats a Bitch (Steve Blackman's Nun)	2
6 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	ALIVE
7 	Henry VIII 	MERGED
8 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	6
9 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	ALIVE
10 	Out of Luck 	ALIVE
11 	Soul Survivor 	MERGED
12 	@FFDraftScott 	ALIVE
13 	Shotti's Bugatti 	5
14 	Last Coach Standing 	MERGED
15 	Bobecue Chicken (Sloppy Seconds) 	ALIVE
16 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	4
17 	The Guilloteam 	ALIVE
18 	Who the Fuck are all of you? 	ALIVE
19 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	ALIVE
20 	CP 	ALIVE
==Kings of the Castle==
===1. I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls===
Derrick Henry. That's it. That's the writeup.
===2. Sloppy Seconds===
Since taking over the team on September 22nd, Sloppy has added five new players. Three took the field in week six and led them to their best performance of the season thus far. As the team slowly becomes less Pats a Bitch and more Bobecue Chicken, maybe a little bit of momentum being built up? 
===3. Ya Hate 2 See It===
Broke man G breaks 200 after dropping bank but holy shit is it looking bad for them in week seven. Bye weeks for their only starting QB, CeeDee Lamb, James Robinson, Dalton Schultz, and Tony Pollard. Those players accounted for 127.05 points in week six.
===4. The Titanic===
Business as usual for the team that wheeled and dealed his way to a decent roster over the last few weeks. He also isn't hurt too bad by this big bye week. Jerry Jeudy is designated for return, giving him another boost in the coming weeks .
===5. CP===
Justin Jefferson is on the bye this week but Devin Duvernay can slide into that spot, leaving a flex position open for D'Ernest Johnson. He is a hot ticket this week, which is funny because last week I was joking about him being the 2020 week 5 top bid-on player. He may be the starter for Clevelend come Thursday night, which would be a boost for CP. 
== On the Chopping Block==
===14. Out of Luck===
A shit-the-bed week for Out of Luck. For players scored under 3 points. Just one player on the starting roster broke projection, and that was Kirk Cousins. It turned out to be the difference. Had Papa started Daniel Jones over Kirk Cousins he would have finished with 85.61.
===13. Bad VRs===
An okay showing from Bad VRs this week but nothing spectacular. I think if nothing else, the notion that merging early makes you a super team is definitely put to rest. Both alliances have had tough weeks like everyone else.
===12. Last Matts Standing ===
The team whose spirit animal is the mayor from "Nightmare Before Christmas" that can turn his whole head around to reveal a second face that is miserable and scared. It's clear this team will have to make moves soon, but is this the week to do it with so many talented but injured waiver guys?
===11. Return of the Mac===
It's nothing short of a miracle that Mac is still with us. They are being outscored on the season by Last Matts Standing, who benched their lineup in week two. Now they have Cook and Cooper on the bye (and that piece of garbage Shenault too). It's going to be an interesting day of bidding for this team.
===10. Neck-Fix and Chill===
This team could be in huge troble if Nick Chubb cannot go on Thursday night. The short week has done them no favors here. As it is, they may be forced to start a guy like Kendrick Bourne or Alex Collins with Dan Arnold on the bye. They made a splash when they brought in Hopkins, is it time for another big play in bidding?
==Average Scores of Eliminated Teams==
Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Played
Hasta Laviska Baby 	165.26 	6
Shotti's Bugatti 	153.62 	5
Pats a bitch 	147.32 	2
It's Blitz! Track 2	136.14 	4
==Narrow Defeats==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
It's Blitz! Track 2	7.06 	4
Shotti's Bugatti 	14.37 	5
Hasta Laviska Baby 	23.24 	6
Pats a bitch 	N/A 	2
== Rulers of the Kingdom==
2021 first place finishers:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Return of the Mac 	208.47
2 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	249.61
3 	Who the Fuck are all of you? 	215.73
4 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	235.97
5 	The Titanic 	264.33
5 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls (2)	239.21
Dere-lick becomes the first team to repeat a 1st place performance in 2021. 
==Dungeon Dwellers==
2021 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:
Low Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Bobecue Chicken 	132.96
2 	Mixon Beer with Liquor	118.90
3 	Return of the Mac 	120.63
4 	Shotti's Bugatti 	125.79
5 	The Guilloteam 	132.43
6 	Out of Luck 	121.70
==Single Season Scoring Records==
As teams get eliminated their season will be added to the record books.
All-Tme Single Season HH Point Records
Score 	Player 	Year
3428.76	CP 	2019
3402.18	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2019
3015.53	Mixon Beer 	2020
2997.67	The Guilloteam 	2019
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	2020
2743.25	@FFDraftScott 	2020
2733.07	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2020
2709.59	Mac 	2019
2422.98	Dere-Lick 	2019
2377.31	The Guilloteam 	2020
2285.51	CP 	2020
2282.91	Out of Luck 	2020
2046.35	LIVEWithIt 	2019
1941.63	Bobecue Chicken 	2019
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	2020
1736.99	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2019
1611.76	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2020
1512.91	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2020
1439.40	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2020
1357.00	Henry VIII 	2019
1238.56	Bluedevils 	2019
1132.61	Henry VIII 	2020
1116.98	Shotti's Bugatti 	2020
1055.63	Mac 	2020
1049.89	LIVEWithIt 	2020
991.57 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2021
975.59 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2019
768.10 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2021
717.82 	Out of Luck 	2019
713.12 	Dere-Lick 	2020
544.55 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2021
481.22 	@FFDraftScott 	2019
459.96 	Bobecue Chicken 	2020
294.62 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2021
286.36 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2019
262.69 	Bad Boys 	2020
115.16 	Mixon Beer 	2019
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2020
==All-Time Combined Points Scored==
As teams get eliminated, their updated totals will be added to the record books.
All-Time Combined Points Records
Score 	Player 	Years Played
6679.80	It's Blitz! Track 2 	3
5714.27	CP 	2
5374.98	The Guilloteam 	2
3765.22	Mac 	2
3406.56	Hasta Laviska Baby 	3
3249.90	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2
3224.47	@FFDraftScott 	2
3136.10	Dere-Lick 	2
3130.69	Mixon Beer 	2
3106.24	LIVE With It 	2
3000.73	Out of Luck 	2
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	1
2489.61	Henry VIII 	2
2401.59	Bobecue Chicken 	2
1898.12	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2
1885.08	Shotti's Bugatti 	2
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	1
1738.10	Bad Boys 	2
1238.56	Bluedevils 	1
698.91 	Phillip's Team 	1
391.19 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2
==Remaining Budget==
Remaining Budget as of 10/12/2021
Player 	Total Budget
Bad VRs 	$1459
Beach McBungalow 	$1000
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	$1000
Out of Luck 	$999
Sloppy Seconds 	$980
Last Matts Standing 	$964
Return of the Mac 	$964
The Guilloteam 	$753
CP 	$650
Who the Fuck are all of you?	$498
Neck-Fix and Chill 	$498
I Can Dere-Lick My Own Balls	$375
Ya Hate 2 See It 	$200
The Titanic 	$122
Hasta Laviska Baby 	0
Shotti's Bugatti 	0
It's Blitz! Track 2 	0
Bad Boys 	0
Pats a bitch 	0
==CONCLUSION==
That's all for this week! Have a good week, see everyone Thursday night for the Wheel of Fate, and happy hunting!