Mario

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Mario is a retarded fatass Italian plumber who is Luigi's sister.
He has a strange (to say the least) habit of humping his spaghetti before and while eating it, and believes that he should spend Valentine's day playing Naked Spaghetti Wars with Peach.
He once took a job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. He was fired after blowing everything up. YOU HAD ONE JOB. ONE JOB.
He also once drugged spaghetti. And fed it to a living mushroom.
He hates all living mushrooms.
For some reason, his emotions (living inside his head) are Teletubbies (red for anger, purple for hunger, green for intelligence, yellow for gayness(?)) using an arcade machine to control his emotions.