Super Royalty

Super Royalty is the fifteenth episode of Season One in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
Squidward desperately wants to be considered better royalty than SpongeBob and Patrick, so he tries to sabotage the duo's reputation.
==Synopsis==
Squidward is sipping tea in his bedroom when he hears a fancy limo drive outside on the driveway.
“Could it be? Yes! It is!” Squidward says. “It’s those fancy fish inviting me for a tea party more important than those doofuses!”
Squidward dashes outside to see SpongeBob and Patrick going inside it.
“See you later, Squidward!” SpongeBob yells. “We’re going to this cool guy’s mansion so we can sip green tea!”
“Yeah!” Patrick yells. “I wonder if I can taste the green!”
The limo drives off.
“Buffoon,” Squidward says under his breath. “He probably can’t even taste gold.”
Squidward sulks on the ground, squished.
“Maybe this is what slime feels like... Yuck!”
Squidward gets up from the ground and paces around the room, hatching a plan.
“I think I just got a brilliant scheme going here.”
Squidward pulls out a whiteboard and a marker and starts writing on it.
“First, I wait for SpongeBob and Patrick to come back.
Next, I find a way to distract them with something to buy me some time.
Then, I anonymously report them to the authorities.
After that, I wait for their reputations to get ruined.
And after that, they crown me the new king! Wait, that's too far.”
Squidward erases the last step.
“And after that, they invite ME to have green tea instead of them! It’s too good to be true… Hold on. If I say that, it won’t happen. It’s ALMOST too good to be true. Much better.”
Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick are at the mansion.
“Isn’t this great, Patrick?” SpongeBob says. “We have this mansion all to ourselves for a couple hours. Company sure would be great, though.”
“I can’t taste the color!” Patrick says. “I’m sad.”
“Maybe try some BLUE cheese with your GREEN tea, eh?” the fancy fish says as he gives Patrick a slice of blue cheese.
“Now this is a color combination!” Patrick says as he digs into the blue cheese while drinking the tea.
Squidward knocks on the front double doors.
“I’ll be right back,” the fancy fish says as he rushes to the door. “Sorry, my butler isn’t here with me today. Something about getting a pay raise.”
He opens the door to see a Squidward standing.
“Can I help you?” the fancy fish asks.
“I need to see SpongeBob and Patrick.”
“They’re quite busy right now-”
SpongeBob and Patrick rush to Squidward to hug him.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Squidward thinks to himself.
“What are you doing here, Squid old buddy?” SpongeBob asks. “Usually you’re being your sulky self back at home.”
“Well, uh, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you guys,” Squidward says. “Just follow me.”
“Okay!” SpongeBob says.
“Wait a minute…” Patrick says. “How do we know this isn’t a prank?”
“Patrick, it’s the middle of summer.”
“Oh yeah, good point. Carry on then,” Patrick says.
SpongeBob and Patrick follow Squidward outside the fancy fish’s house.
“Back to being a lone wolf, I guess,” the fancy fish says to himself, as he literally howls like a wolf.
“So where are we going, Squidward?” SpongeBob asks.
“Oh, you’ll see soon,” Squidward replies.
“Ooh! Is it gonna be Goo Lagoon? I need a tan soon,” SpongeBob says.
“Good guess, but actually no,” Squidward says. “Here we are. The laundromat.”
“Out of all places, you chose the laundromat? THIS IS AWESOME!” SpongeBob says.
“It's the wash! I need to wash my Ruggie!” Patrick says.
“Patrick, you just washed your Ruggie yesterday.” SpongeBob says.
“I did? I forget. Let's go, Ruggie!” Patrick pulls out Ruggie from his pocket.
“Right. Let's go inside, shall we?” Squidward walls inside the laundromat along with SB and Patrick.
“Squidward, what do you need to tell us?” SpongeBob asks. “It must be important.”
“Oh yeah, that. Umm…” Squidward tries to come up with an excuse on the spot. “I lost my toupee somewhere in the building. Can you find it for me?”
“You have a toupee? How classy,” SpongeBob remarks. “We’ll find it for you, Squidward. Kings’ honor.”
“Good. Now I’ll be off to do some errands. And please don’t ask me if they’re finished or I’ll go insane.” Squidward says as he leaves the laundromat.
“Come on, Patrick. We need to find his toupee before it gets washed!” SpongeBob says.
“Yeah, don’t want a clean toupee!” Patrick says.
Cut to Squidward back at the fancy fish’s door. He rings the doorbell.
“Who is it?” the fancy fish asks.
“Squidward Quincy Tentacles,” Squidward answers.
“Ah, royalty. Right this way, sir.”
The fancy fish opens the door as he realizes who he let in.
“You again? You went in uninvited last time!”
“This is important news, sir,” Squidward says quickly.
“It better be.”
Squidward whispers in the fancy fish’s ear, and the fancy fish gradually gets more and more alarmed as he speaks.
“Good golly! This is some tea that needs to be spilled!”
“Lemme guess, can’t keep a secret?”
“Absolutely not! I must tell everyone about ScumBob and Slobtrick!”
“Creative names there.”
“I was an English major. Of course they are.”
Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick still searching for the toupee. Patrick is rolling around in Ruggie.
“Ruggie Ruggie Ruggie! Ruggie Ruggie Ruggie!” Patrick says.
“Patrick, concentrate!” SpongeBob says. “We need to find Squidward’s… toupee.”
SpongeBob sees an angry mob outside the laundromat.laundromat.
“Hey, it’s a crowd ready to help us find Squidward’s toupee!” Patrick says.
“I don’t think it’s a crowd. It’s an angry mob!” SpongeBob says, frightened.
The angry mob busts down the laundromat doors, screaming with rage.
“How could you do such a thing?!” one yells.
“Yeah, why would you do such a thing to poor Squidward?” another yells.
“Squidward? We didn’t do anything to Squidward,” SpongeBob says.
“Oh yeah? Then what’s this?”
A member of the crowd pulls out his phone and shows a fishy-looking text message between Squidward and SpongeBob.
FryCookDaBest: hey squidward you fat idiot why are you so dum
FancySquid6: hey don’t call me that please
FryCookDaBest: no ur ugly
FancySquid6: that’s it i’m done with you
FryCookDaBest: *dolphin chirps*
SpongeBob gasps. “I would never say such a thing!”
“Then why does this text message say otherwise?” the crowd member says.
The angry mob agrees with him and continues rioting. They inch closer and closer to SpongeBob, who sees a sinister-looking Squidward being held up by the crowd.
“Squidward? How could you do this to us?!” SpongeBob yells. “I thought we were friends!”
“Oh we were. Until I spilled the tea to that friend of yours,” Squidward says. “Oh, and here’s some REAL tea.”
Squidward takes a cup full of tea and throws it at SpongeBob’s face. He licks it.
“Tastes like failure and defeat, Patrick,” SpongeBob says sadly. “Patrick?”
“I’m sorry, but it has to be done, Ruggie,” Patrick says.
“Patrick, what are you doing?”
“Something smart. I think.”
Patrick takes ruggie and throws it towards the angry mob. One fish stumbles backwards, making the others do so as well. Squidward falls to the ground, his new golden crown cracked.
“No! My crown!” Squidward yelps. “Grr… it’s not over yet. Your reputations are still ruined.”
“Wait. What did Patrick do?” SpongeBob asks.
“He slobbered all over the mayor’s toilet.”
“Gross!” SpongeBob says.
“That’s too low, even for me!” Patrick says. “Sorry, Ruggie…”
“So sad…” Squidward claps his tentacles together, and a new angry mob forms in front of SpongeBob and Patrick.
“This is the true end, Patrick… we’re done for. Gonna be beaten to a pulp…” SpongeBob says, but then a lightbulb appears over his head. Patrick grabs it, but drops it and breaks it.
“Don’t worry, my idea is still in my head.” SpongeBob confronts the angry mob.
“Everyone, listen! I can prove that those texts weren’t real after all!”
“Pfft, good luck with that,” Squidward says.
SpongeBob pulls out his shiny golden phone and goes over to his messages with Squidward.
FryCookDaBest: hey squidward wanna play bubble kings today?
FancySquid6: no you idioit
FryCookDaBest: hey don’t call me that please
FancySquid6: no youre ugly
FryCookDaBest: ok then best friend! :(
The mob gasps as they realize what the truth is.
“Are you telling us… Squidward lied to us?! We don’t condone liars in this town.”
The angry mob puts down Squidward and storms off.
“Well, Squidward, it looks like you’ve lied to the entire town.”
“Wh-Who are you?” Squidward asks.
“I am the mayor of the town. Just call me Mr. Mayor.”
“Mr. Mayor, sir. I’d like to apologize for-”
“Say no more, Squidward Tentacles. I already know everything.”
“That Patrick slobbered all over your toilet and SpongeBob was rude to me?”
“Heavens no. First of all, it was my snail that slobbered all over my toilet. Mittens does that a lot. Second of all, I don’t trust text messages anymore. They can easily be made up, like what you did. And because of the damage you’ve done to these two fine citizens, I will give them a free golden limo!”
“Golden wha? But Mr. Mayor, I don’t even have a drivers’ license!”
“Then I’ll forge you one! I MEAN, uh… get you one. As for you, Squidward, you’ll be sent to the Camp.”
“The Camp?” Squidward asks.
“Yes. The Camp is a place for naughty people to learn their lesson. A much better idea than prison, in my opinion. Now, chop chop. You don’t wanna miss today’s big lecture.”
“Everybody’s an idiot…” Squidward mutters.
“See you later, Squidward! I’m sure you’ll have fun with Plankton!” SpongeBob yells as Squidward walks away with the mayor.
Patrick sulks.
“I miss Ruggie.”
The mayor turns back around to see Patrick.
“Oh yeah… I saw this rug lying on the ground. I believe it’s yours,” the mayor says as he throws it to Patrick. “Ta-ta!”
“Ruggie Ruggie Ruggie… how I’ve missed you!”
The episode ends with Patrick rolling around in Ruggie one more time.
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