For Your Own Amusement

For Your Own Amusement is the fourteenth Hoopla's Fantastic Beach short. 
==Transcript==
(Hoopla is at home, watching television on the sofa)
Hoopla: Life is good, I'm good, everything's good. I can finally, at last, relax.
(Hoopla switches the channel and a commercial plays.)
TV: Have you ever wondered: why am I indoors right now? Well, have you?
Hoopla: Uhh…
TV: Well, if the answer to that is yes, then you need to go outside! This message was brought to you by the Outsiders Organization.
Hoopla: Really? A commercial for going OUTSIDE? Well I guess I gotta go outside now.
(Hoopla hops off the couch and heads outside)
Hoopla: Alright, now I’m here. What was the purpose of doing this exactly?
(Hoopla sees a sign pointing in a certain direction. The sign says: “GOOD ON YOU! YOU FOLLOWED THE ADVICE! COME THIS WAY FOR MORE WISE TIPS!”)
Hoopla: This could be a trap…but I’m invested in where this story is heading now so I have to find out where this leads.
(Hoopla walks in the direction the sign points. It eventually leads to another sign that says: “DO YOU LIKE THE FEELING OF DYING? COME DOWN THIS WAY AND YOU’LL GET THAT FEELING WITHOUT LITERALLY DYING!”)
Hoopla: These advertisements are way too enthusiastic about this topic. Still not a great sign… literally, but I’ve made it this far, I ain’t backing out.
(Hoopla follows the path some more as music starts growing louder in the distance. He suddenly bumps into a ticket booth that appears out of nowhere.)
Booth person: Ticket please.
Hoopla: For what?
Booth person: I shouldn’t have to explain. You’re not getting in here for free.
Hoopla: Here? What is here-
(Hoopla looks up and sees a massive sign that says “HEEPLA WORLD”. A mascot character that looks like a slightly taller and off-colored Hoopla is taking photos with guests nearby.)
Hoopla: Heepla…world? What the…? (pointing to the mascot character) Is that meant to be…me? Hoopla?
Booth person: Huh? Ho ho, no silly boy. That’s our mascot, Heepla™! He saved the world so many times that we decided to dedicate a whole theme park for him!
Hoopla: Heepla?! It’s HOOPLA! That was me who saved the world, you wingnut!
Booth person: No, it’s Heepla©. Our own original character.
Hoopla: …Sure. (to himself) This is really weird…
Booth person: Now, do you have a ticket or not?
Hoopla: Errr-
Booth person: Sucks to be you. But hey, taking photos with Heepla® is free.
Hoopla: Alrighty then.
(Hoopla walks up to the mascot character to take a photo.)
Camera operator: Say “HEEPLA℠!”
Hoopla: (whispering into the mascot’s ear) Psst. I’ll give you some of the Poseidon Powder if you give me a ticket inside. I have connections with the Black Market. (normal talk) HOO- HEEPLA!
(The mascot character hands Hoopla a ticket inside.)
Mascot: You better give me your end of the deal by tonight.
(Hoopla hands over the ticket to the booth person, letting him inside.)
Hoopla: Time to investigate this place. A whole theme park based around me…without my permission. There’s definitely something up here.
Announcer: (over speaker) Welcome all of you to the brand new and exciting HEEPLA™© WORLD! Featuring rides based on Heepla™®’s adventures and friends. Featuring- HEEPLA®© HIMSELF! BEEPLA! DOCTOR! SALMON! CHARLIE! TYRONE! AND MANY MORE!
Hoopla: Wow, they’ve really ripped off everyone I know. (looks at all the different rides) Those look real fun…I better ride them…to investigate and, uh, all. But which one should I try first?
(Hoopla looks at all the rides, including an unstable-looking Ferris wheel, a really fast teacup ride, a cheaply made bottle toss game, and a really dangerous-looking rollercoaster)
Hoopla: (gulps) Definitely saving the rollercoaster for last. Now, which one to go on first…?
(Hoopla thinks as royalty free thinking music plays)
Hoopla: You know what, I'll do the bottle toss first. Gonna get the easy stuff out of the way.
(Hoopla walks over to the bottle toss and greets a skinny teen with acne)
Teen: Hey man, wanna try the bottle toss for our one and only Heepla™®?
Hoopla: For the last time, it’s- okay, I’ll try it.
Teen: All you gotta do is throw these rings onto these bottles, which just so happen to look like miniature versions of Heepla™®©’s golden tower!
Hoopla: The hell? I never had a golden tower…I guess they’re taking some creative liberties… should really be a real thing now though…
Teen: The more rings you get on bottles, the more points you score! The more points you score, the better prizes you can get!
Hoopla: I see. Hmm…
(Hoopla stacks up all the rings in one hand and casually drops them all onto one bottle.)
Teen: (flabbergasted) Uh- Huh-
Hoopla: Technically a toss. (Hoopla takes a gigantic Heepla plush) I’ll be taking this. (walks away) Maybe there’s some sort of spy camera in here or…
(Hoopla spots another ride in the distance- a teacup ride.)
Hoopla: Eh, I’ll worry about it later.
Ride operator: Try our incredibly fast teacup ride! These teacups are designed to look like Aabglo motherships, just like when Heepla™®©℠ fought them!
Hoopla: Oh come on, it's the Oobglo!
Ride operator: The what? Kid, are you gonna get on the ride or what?
Hoopla: (groans) Fine.
(Hoopla steps into one of the mothership teacups when it starts spinning incredibly fast and slings Hoopla out of the cup and into another one.)
Hoopla: Where the hell is the safety control on this?
(Hoopla notices no one is controlling the ride mechanisms)
Hoopla: Ruh roh.
(The mothership teacups spin even faster, slinging Hoopla between them like he’s a pinball.)
Hoopla: Ugh…I’m gonna be sick…I’m gonna turn green…wait-
(Hoopla is finally spat back onto the ground as the mothership teacups spin so fast they gain the ability to levitate and fly away into space.)
Ride operator: Woah-hoh. Just like the real UFOs! Awesome!
Hoopla: Um, where in the world did you go?!
Ride operator: Well, I get motion sick when I see super fast objects, so I had to run to the bathroom.
Hoopla: …Why do you operate this ride then???
Ride operator: Punishment. I’ve done…things… (war flashbacks)
Hoopla: Slowly backing away…I don’t really know why I’m saying this out loud…man, I really am a lame character that only quips. Time to get my mind off this…guess I’ll ride the ferris wheel.
(Hoopla walks over to the ferris wheel and gets on. It’s a generic-themed ferris wheel with Heepla™®©℠™®©℠’s giant face on it, along with all his friends.)
Hoopla: Hopefully this is more relaxing, though knowing the quality of this theme park, I shouldn’t be expecting that.
(Hoopla slowly rises up to the top.)
Hoopla: Watch. As soon as I start to descend it’ll start rolling around the entire place. (stands up) EVERYONE! HOLD ON! THIS THEME PARK IS QUITE CRAP! THIS WHEEL IS GONNA BREAK OFF ITS STAND AND START ROLLING!
(People start screaming.)
Hoopla: Alright, I’ve warned the populous. HOLD ON FOLKS!
(Hoopla starts to descend as he closes his eyes…he makes it to the bottom with no problem.)
Hoopla: Oh. Huh. I didn’t…expect this one to actually work.
(Everyone getting off the ferris wheel slaps him in the face.)
Hoopla: I, OW! Was, OW! Just trying to do, OW! A nice thing! OW! (sigh) I suppose being a hero isn’t always perfect.
(Hoopla walks over to the rollercoaster. “Heepla™®©℠™®©℠™®©℠™®©℠ VS The Shadow Moonster!)
Hoopla: A rollercoaster based on my fight with King Noir? This could be interesting. (deep breath) Just gotta ride this last one, and then I’ll have enough experience in this park to figure out why it’s here.
(Hoopla sees a “You Must Be This Tall to Ride” sign, and sees that he is too short to get on)
Hoopla: Oh come the Hoopla on! I’m getting on this ride and that’s final.
(Hoopla pushes down the sign to sink it into the sand enough for it to fit his height)
Hoopla: Much better.
(Hoopla heads towards the ride and hops in a cart)
Rollercoaster manager: I don’t get paid enough for this damn job. (he flips a lever to turn on the ride. Hoopla’s ride begins)
Hoopla: This isn’t so bad so far… no immediate breakdowns or anything.
(Hoopla goes through an extremely dark tunnel; he ends up on the other side)
Hoopla: …is that it? THAT’S THE ENTIRE ATTRACTION TO THIS RIDE? This whole place is a STUPID, DUMB, FOOLISH SCAM! (he realizes) Wait, that’s literally the entire point. This place is just meant to scam stupid people like me and rip them off. How did I not realize this earlier?
(Just then, the track breaks, and Hoopla, still in the cart, falls down)
Hoopla: AAAAAAAAAAAA- Well at least it’s finally over now.
(The cart starts drilling into the ground like a drill)
Hoopla: WHAT THE HELL AAAAAAAA-
(Hoopla finally lands onto the ground, where he ends up in an underground room with some guy)
Hoopla: Why is there a room under-? Actually no, enough asking questions for one day.
Guy: Hahahahaha! Scamming people really gets the blood pumping! We’re raking in so much cash using a ripoff of Hoopla’s name! It’s ingenious, I tell you! Ingenious!
Hoopla: (muttering) More like UN-genius.
Guy: Welp, I think it’s finally time to get rid of an itch off my back. (he looks over at a giant button in the middle of the room) This random apparent button that just so happens to be here. Some stupid self-destruct button from some nuclear testing, I dunno. Unfortunate that a former nuclear testing site was the only location we had to build this park. Eh, I’m sure there’s no side effects. Anyway, time to get rid of it once and for all.
(Hoopla gets out of the cart, and accidentally trips on it on his way out, causing it to fling in the air and hit the giant button)
Guy: Where the hell did that come fro-?
(Above ground, the entire amusement park explodes)
Guy: Dear Neptune, I’m gonna get sued to death!
(The guy rushes upstairs to see the damage. Hoopla follows not too far behind him. Once they arrive, they see the gigantic pile of rubble from what used to be the amusement park)
Guy: It looks terrible! I hope nobody’s hurt.
Hoopla: (startling the guy) I hate to break it to you, but I think I was the only person to even be on those rides today.
Guy: WHO ARE YOU?!
Hoopla: Hoopla. I saw you guys were ripping off my good name.
Guy: And I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kid!
Hoopla: Haha. Serves you right, capitalist scumbag.
(The scene fades to Hoopla’s beach house, where he is lying in his hammock outdoors)
Hoopla: Ahh… the great outdoors. (sipping a glass of iced water) I’m glad that I got around to copyright my name. No more rip-offs. (sips the water again, but chokes) Ack!
(The short ends with Hoopla falling out of his hammock)
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