Sleeping On The Job (ADWSS Transcript)

*(Scene: The Krusty Krab)
*Fish: Hello? Hello? (looks in boat) Hey, uh, dude, I'd like to have a Krabby Patty.
*(camera zooms in boat to reveal Squidward is sleeping on the floor of it)
*Fish: Poor customer service! I've GOT to report this! (enters Mr. Krabs' office) Ahem, your cashier is sleeping!
*Mr. Krabs: When will that Squidward ever learn..... (walks to the boat, and violently shakes it, then yells through a megaphone, which wakes Squidward up)
*Squidward: Mr. Krabs!
*Mr. Krabs: Mr. Tentacles, if I dare catch you sleeping on the job again today, you're fired!
*Squidward: Okay, but if I don't, you have to give me 10 bucks extra on payday!
*Mr. Krabs: Deal! (goes back to office)
*Narrator: (with time card) 2 Hours Later......
*Squidward: (still awake, counting change for a customer)
*Mr. Krabs: (enters kitchen) SpongeBob, try and get Squidward to go to sleep!
*SpongeBob: Why?
*Mr. Krabs: Um..... because........ pink unicorns will give you magical gym socks if you do!
*SpongeBob: YAY! I can smell the sweaty magic already!
*Mr. Krabs: Now, get him to sleep!
*SpongeBob: Okay! (takes out record, and plays lullaby on it)
*Mr. Krabs: (giggles) Great idea!
*Squidward: Hmmm? What DISGUSTING music is this? I'll show the maker of that song what REAL music is! (begins to play horribly on clarinet through the kitchen window, causing SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs to faint)
*SpongeBob: Egh! (runs to clarinet and shoves deeper into Squidward's mouth)
*Squidward: (spits clarinet out, which goes through one of SpongeBob's holes and hits Mr. Krabs)
*Mr. Krabs: OW!
*Squidward: WHY did you shove the clarinet up my mouth?
*SpongeBob: The pink unicorns were speaking to me with their magical sweaty socks! (screen ripples to a flashback, where a pink unicorn holding a gym sock in holographic form is inside the kitchen with SpongeBob)
*Pink Unicorn Hologram: Shove the clarinet up Squidward's mouth you must.
*SpongeBob: Huh?
*Pink Unicorn Hologram: Shove the clarinet up Squidward's mouth you must!
*SpongeBob: Say what?
*Pink Unicorn Hologram: JUST SHOVE THE CLARINET UP HIS MOUTH IF YOU WANT THE GYM SOCKS!
*SpongeBob: Oh. Wait, what?
*Pink Unicorn Hologram: (eyes turn red)
*SpongeBob: I mean, right on it!
*(flashback ends)
*Squidward: Um...... okay.......
*(scene slides downwards to reveal a new scene, with a heading of bold, blue text, saying "Plan 2: The Boredom, the scene shows SpongeBob facing Squidward at his station)
*SpongeBob: (in a proffesional white jacket, pulls a whiteboard in front of Squidward, pulls out marker) In the equation system 13 - 4 = x, the square root of x is v, and v + 8 = a, so what is a? (draws system on the board) Easy! The answer is a = 11. How is this solved? Well, 13 minus 4 is 9, so 9 is equivalent to x. The square root of x, or 9, is 3, so 3 is equivalent to v. So v, or 3, plus 8 is 11, so a is equivalent to 11. (draws out all the math) Now, if I took the number negative 11, the absoute value of it would be eleven. This is because an absolute value sign will take the most simplified number from it and make it a positive number. Positive numbers are not effected by an absolute value sign, as they are alr-
*Squidward: SpongeBob, let me demonstrate an equation. If you multiplied the following expressions, g*o and a*w*a*y, what would you get?
*SpongeBob: Sweaty gym socks divided by 2!
*Squidward: GO AWAY!
*(scene slides down to reveal another scene, with a red bold heading, saying "Plan 3: The Potion, scene shows SpongeBob, holding a blue potion next to Mr. Krabs in the kitchen)
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, this potion will make Squidward go to sleep! (dips arrow inside potion) Mr. Krabs, shoot the arrow into Squidward's back and he'll be snoozing in no time. (hands Mr. Krabs a bow and the arrow) Here you go.
*Mr. Krabs: (shoots arrow through the window, but hits the ceiling and bounces on the walls repeatedly, as Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob grow impatient, when suddenly it bounces onto a broom, which transforms into a pink unicorn, and goes to the kitchen)
*Pink Unicorn: Lousy archer. (shoots the arrow onto Squidward's back, causing him to turn into a pink unicorn) Oops! SpongeBob, I gave you the wrong potion. Nonunicornus squidarium! (transforms Squidward to normal) I gotta go. (teleports away)
*SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, it's the end of Squidward's shift! (points to clock, reading 6:00 P.M.)
*Mr. Krabs: Bye, my dear ten dollars. (sniffs)
*Squidward: I win! Ha ha ha!
*SpongeBob: Squidward, why aren't you blinking?
*Doctor: (bursts in) Squidward, I'm afraid that you have had your eyes open so long, that you will be unable to blink for the next month.
*Squidward: WHAT?!
*SpongeBob: (as Squidward screams in the background) All I wanted was to see a unicorn with its magic socks. (sighs)
*Pink Unicorn: Well, now you can!
*SpongeBob: YAY!
*(the pink unicorn and SpongeBob jump up onto a rainbow, and they dance to the Nyan Cat theme song in a hip-hop style, as the scene fades black, when the screen is fully black, the episode ends)
==Rate This Episode==
Remember your name, your score out of ten and why.
1. BagelBoxd-This episode was weird. Pink unicorn gym socks and hip hop Nyan Cat style pink unicorn rainbows...uh, what? Despite that it was funny but nothing too spectacular. Also this episode was really short for some reason. 8/10.
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8.Rockbottom789-SO FUNNY!
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Category:A Day With SpongeBob SquarePants
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts