Starshards/Chapter 1

We see the darkened halls of a sleek, cold facility, lit by electrical cyan lights. A purple-cloaked figure is hastily fleeing down the corridor, pursued by a group of dark blue robots with their eyes flashing and weapons poised. Clutched tightly to his chest is a multicoloured glasslike orb pulsing with a strange pattern. He adjusts his cloak slightly, looking down at it with a panicked expression.	We see the darkened halls of a sleek, cold facility, lit by electrical cyan lights. A purple-cloaked figure is hastily fleeing down the corridor, pursued by a group of dark blue robots with their eyes flashing and weapons poised. Clutched tightly to his chest is a multicoloured glasslike orb pulsing with a strange pattern. He adjusts his cloak slightly, looking down at it with a panicked expression.
??? 	I know you're tired, guys, but we really need to warp soon...!
Mumbles of annoyance come from within the cloak. 	Mumbles of annoyance come from within the cloak.
Sapphire Agent 	He's trying to escape! Strike him down!
The robots fire rounds from their plasma cannons, which the cloaked figure hastily dodges and deflects with his staff before turning the corner again - this time, finding himself at a dead end. He pauses, hesitating, as the squadron of robots catch up and slowly approach from behind. 	The robots fire rounds from their plasma cannons, which the cloaked figure hastily dodges and deflects with his staff before turning the corner again - this time, finding himself at a dead end. He pauses, hesitating, as the squadron of robots catch up and slowly approach from behind.
??? 	C'mon, c'mon, c'mon...
Sapphire Agent 	Attention, core-holder. Forfeit the core immediately or we will have no other choice but to take lethal action. This is your final chance.
??? 	...you guys ready?
Sapphire Agent 2 	Poor guy's outta options. Let's close in.
Suddenly, the cloaked figure whips around to face the soldiers and throws open his cloak, releasing a group of spherical creatures that tackle the robots head-on, bearing their spikes. 	Suddenly, the cloaked figure whips around to face the soldiers and throws open his cloak, releasing a group of spherical creatures that tackle the robots head-on, bearing their spikes.
Sapphire Agent 	EUGH-!?
Poffer 	PO-POFF!
With the robots distracted, the cloaked figure reaches into his pocket and takes out a handful of chalky triangles, crushing them up in his other hand into a dust which evaporates through his glove. He takes a deep breath, brandishes his wand and prepares to attack- 	With the robots distracted, the cloaked figure reaches into his pocket and takes out a handful of chalky triangles, crushing them up in his other hand into a dust which evaporates through his glove. He takes a deep breath, brandishes his wand and prepares to attack-
-but suddenly, a jolt of lightning flies through the air and hits him directly, knocking him to the ground and making him drop the glassy orb, which rolls away from him as he desperately reaches out to grab it, wincing. The Poffers pause, stop their attack, and quickly jump back to defend him. As the battered soldiers get back to their feet, a shorter figure approaches, crackling with electricity. 	-but suddenly, a jolt of lightning flies through the air and hits him directly, knocking him to the ground and making him drop the glassy orb, which rolls away from him as he desperately reaches out to grab it, wincing. The Poffers pause, stop their attack, and quickly jump back to defend him. As the battered soldiers get back to their feet, a shorter figure approaches, crackling with electricity.
??? 	Bullseye.
She walks forward and calmly picks up the orb, brushing dust off of it before regarding the collapsed figure with contempt. 	She walks forward and calmly picks up the orb, brushing dust off of it before regarding the collapsed figure with contempt.
??? 	No...
??? 	(sigh) Told ya not to do anything stupid. You should've listened to me first.
??? 	You need to listen to me! What we're doing isn't right!
He covertly reaches into his pocket and takes out another handful of triangles, but the electric figure quickly zaps him once more, and the chalky substance clatters to the ground. 	He covertly reaches into his pocket and takes out another handful of triangles, but the electric figure quickly zaps him once more, and the chalky substance clatters to the ground.
??? 	Oh... that explains it. Guess it's too late, 'rei. Looks like you've already let yourself be poisoned. Wiping that poison off the planet - that's what's right.
??? 	The Sapphire aren't helping anyone! Listen to me - the world is in danger- ZAP
??? 	Shut it! You really think I'd believe you? After your ol' stab-in-the-back routine? Hah!
??? 	We were wrong about the *! If you just let me explain- ZAP
??? 	And you actually managed to make me trust you! Y'know, you even made me think we were actually friends. My bad. Won't happen again, that's for sure. Should've known you were a natural-born liar from the start.
Sapphire Agent 	Should we engage, Commander?
??? 	You know we're on the same side. ...please. You know this isn't right. Come with me. You know those robots are no match for you. I can't do this on my own. Right here, right now, escape with me! We'll - we'll form a team, fight for what we believe in, fight to truly help people, even if the world is against us. Starcenta needs hope.
He reaches out. 	He reaches out.
??? 	We'll do it together. I promise.
Sapphire Agent 	...
Sapphire Agent 	...Commander?
??? 	...oh for peck's sake, just shoot 'im already.
??? 	Wait-
The robots prime their guns. One of the Poffers sighs, takes a deep breath and puffs up before tackling the cloaked figure the instant the plasma guns fire. The group of Poffers and their leader dissipate into a bright lilac light, vanishing out of existence right before the plasma rounds pass through and hit the wall. In an instant, the group is gone. 	The robots prime their guns. One of the Poffers sighs, takes a deep breath and puffs up before tackling the cloaked figure the instant the plasma guns fire. The group of Poffers and their leader dissipate into a bright lilac light, vanishing out of existence right before the plasma rounds pass through and hit the wall. In an instant, the group is gone.
Sapphire Agent 	He got away.
Sapphire Agent 2 	Way to state the obvious, C-YBR, you dim or something?
Sapphire Agent 3 	C'mon, C-QWE, that's our newest squadmate. Go easy on the guy.
Still holding the strange spherical core, the electrical figure turns around and leaves without saying a word, crackling with anger. 	Still holding the strange spherical core, the electrical figure turns around and leaves without saying a word, crackling with anger.
==World of opportunity, sponsored by ZEN==
The screen fades in, as the ZEN logo appears on screen. Purp Purpington Purple walks in. 	The screen fades in, as the ZEN logo appears on screen. Purp Purpington Purple walks in.
Purp 	Hello, future employees! My name is Purp Purpington Purple. You may know me as the founder and CEO of ZEN, Starcenta's biggest shard-tech corporation.
Purp 	What do we do, you ask? Well, this training video should explain things to you in the event you've been living under a rock all your life or you've actually been living under a rock all your life.
Purp 	ZEN is a shard-tech company, as I said. We invent and sell shard-based utilities that assist daily life. You've likely used a lot of ZEN tech in your life already. Unless you're using rock-based tools to assist your life underneath that rock.
Purp 	What are shards, you ask? Well, if you haven't been taught basic history, this is a summation on what happened.
Purp 	A long, long, long time ago, an alien comet was sailing through space. Many have called it the Star, which can be pronounced as * for those who can pronounce stuff like that.
Purp 	It's still a debated mystery on why this happened, but the comet veered from its route through space, and started speeding towards our planet at a great pace.
Artist's rendition (NOTE: The * did not have a face. This is an artistic interpretation.) 	Artist's rendition (NOTE: The * did not have a face. This is an artistic interpretation.)
Artist's rendition (NOTE: Once again, the * did not have a face. It also lacked the ability to cry.) 	Artist's rendition (NOTE: Once again, the * did not have a face. It also lacked the ability to cry.)
Purp 	The resulting crash shook the planet and caused a near-extinction. But some remained, and the ecosystem eventually recovered. And by then, people were curious about what happened.
Purp 	And then, a breakthrough. The Shard. People discovered that the remains of this * had left a treasure trove of otherworldly energy. And by taking pieces from the wreckage, this energy could be harvested.
Purp 	The biggest sources of this power come from the Elemental Cores that supposedly powered the comet. The whereabouts of many of them are unknown, however, as they were passed around for generations.
Purp 	It's speculated that these were once part of its powerful internal reactor, but the alien's core has yet to be found.
Purp 	Anyway, after discovering the energy of the Shards, a society quickly sprouted around them. Folklore and religion were passed down, as the * was treated as a godlike being. Our planet was renamed Starcenta in honour of the comet that changed our world.
Purp 	And fairytales of winged beings that looked after the planet became a popular tale to tell. I heard it might be adapted into a film, but that's besides the point.
Purp 	Many leaders have came and gone throughout the history of our society, with our current leader being a tree-stump thing named Good Wood. This tree claims to know the history of the *, but conveniently can't talk about it.
Actual photo(NOTE: Thankfully not an artist's rendition.) 	Actual photo(NOTE: Thankfully not an artist's rendition.)
Purp 	What a sham, seriously... Uh, anyway! Now that you've been refreshed on our planet's history, we can start getting into the details of your job here.
Purp 	Anyone asleep can wake up now. This next bit is important, okay? Alright. Allow me to present... ZENopolis!
I QUIT. HIRE SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU'RE SO ASHAMED OF MY ART.(NOTE: The artist appears to have quit mid-production. Please bear with us.)	I QUIT. HIRE SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU'RE SO ASHAMED OF MY ART.(NOTE: The artist appears to have quit mid-production. Please bear with us.)
Purp 	Ah. Uh. Well, there may be no drawing, but just take my word for it. This is going to be a huge undertaking. Our very own sparkling megacity, where commerce, science and rich living combine. What makes this city so important?
Purp 	ZENopolis will be located in the hollow dome-like structure that used to be the very head of the * itself! We're literally building it INSIDE the *, and it'll be the most complex initiative this company has ever taken.
Purp 	And that's why we need employees like you. I've been told there may be... complications with scouting out the crash site and clearing debris. Our previous scouting teams tried to go and immediately decided to go on eternal... paid leave.
Purp 	So we're going to put you all through a new combat training course, just to get you all ready. Not that there's any danger. There's no cause for alarm, this is just normal training.
Purp 	In a minute, Larry will be giving you all a contract to sign. Don't bother reading the fine print, because it's no more interesting than the history speech you all probably slept through. Anyway, I have a lot to attend to, so I'm wrapping up this pre-recorded video.
Purp 	Together, we're putting the future back together, piece by piece. And we can't do it without your help. So let's do this! Goodbye for now, and we'll see you again soon, probably.
The ZEN logo appears as Purp waves and the screen slowly fades to black. 	The ZEN logo appears as Purp waves and the screen slowly fades to black.
Cut to a group of new employees, including MR Z BRAINZ, watching the screen. Larry walks in and turns off the projector.	Cut to a group of new employees, including MR Z BRAINZ, watching the screen. Larry walks in and turns off the projector.
Larry 	Right, film's over... Here are your contracts... Don't bother reading them...
The employees sign their contracts. 	The employees sign their contracts.
Larry 	Okay... Usually I'd have to play a welcoming speech, but I think we've heard enough from Purp already... So... Let's just get to the point...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Uh... You're Larry, right? I have a question.
Larry 	We don't really have time... The next scouting transport leaves in ten minutes...
MR Z BRAINZ 	I mean, I read the contract, and it said something about possible death. And ownership of all our worldly possessions.
Larry 	I said don't read the contract. ...It's all legal garbage anyway... It doesn't mean anything...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Alright, thanks. I don't really feel comforted by that.
Larry 	Anybody else feel like wasting our time...?
Larry 	...
Larry 	Alright, good. Now, we're short on time... But we need to put you through some minor combat training.
Larry 	We don't have long, so... It'll be more like field experience, in a way. But I can go through the basics real quick...
T1: Basic Training 	T1: Basic Training
Area:ZEN Hangar 	The basics of combat, taught by Larry.
Enemies:Training Dummy	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ
Larry 	Wow. Congratulations. You knocked down a basic ZEN training dummy...
Larry 	This should... accurately prepare you for the job ahead. The scouting transport is here.
MR Z BRAINZ	Alright! I achieved the bare minimum! ...That's not an accomplishment at all.
Larry 	It's really not.
==An encounter in the darkness==
The scouting transport pulls up on the outskirts of the Crash Site. Larry, MR Z BRAINZ and the other employees walk out.	The scouting transport pulls up on the outskirts of the Crash Site. Larry, MR Z BRAINZ and the other employees walk out.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Woah... This is the where the * is? It's huge! I've never seen anything like it...
Larry 	Okay, everyone pay attention. This alien wreckage is like a jungle that gets darker and darker the further you go. So use a flashlight. Shards will be all around, but don't pay any attention to them. You're not the harvest team. Your job is to report any anomalies in the area that may impede on construction. Got it?
The employees fan out and begin exploring. MR Z BRAINZ follows Larry deeper into the Crash Site. 	The employees fan out and begin exploring. MR Z BRAINZ follows Larry deeper into the Crash Site.
MR Z BRAINZ 	One question, Mr Larry.
Larry 	Oh... It's you again...
MR Z BRAINZ 	What was the combat training for, exactly?
Hearing the commotion, ghostly beings seep into the area and stare at the two. 	Hearing the commotion, ghostly beings seep into the area and stare at the two.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Oh no.
Larry 	Them... Apparitions. Dustghosts. Whatever you call them. This place is teeming with them. And they HATE visitors.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I mean, they don't look too aggressive. I think they're lonely.
Larry 	They've killed most of the scouting teams. You should see them in a fight. They're absolutely bloodthirsty.
The Apparitions slowly approach, with angry faces. 	The Apparitions slowly approach, with angry faces.
Larry 	You'll get to experience it yourself, right about now...
01: Skirmish in the dust	01: Skirmish in the dust
Area:Crash Site 	Apparitions have gathered around to drive the ZEN Employees out. Don't let them get the better of you!
Enemies:Apparitions 	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ
The remaining Apparitions scatter and flee into the darkness.	The remaining Apparitions scatter and flee into the darkness.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Huff... puff... Wow! We did it! That wasn't too hard at all!
Larry 	Strange... They're usually stronger... And they seem scared...
MR Z BRAINZ 	I mean, we did give them a real beating. ...Hey, you didn't even do anything! They didn't even target you!
Larry 	I'm... not like the rest of you. They don't bother with me. That's why I'm still alive after all these failed scouting trips. I've seen a lot of people die.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Damm, that sucks.
Larry 	You don't have half a brain, do you? Ugh... Nevermind... Just leave me alone and attend to your job.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I'm so sorry, Mr Larry. I had no clue...
Larry 	No, seriously. Stop tagging along with me.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Okay. I'll leave you be.
MR Z BRAINZ walks off in a different direction, searching the sprawling labyrinth of shards. Before long he is hopelessly lost, as he is a total and utter moron.	MR Z BRAINZ walks off in a different direction, searching the sprawling labyrinth of shards. Before long he is hopelessly lost, as he is a total and utter moron.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Okay, okay. Anomalies, anomalies...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Oh, who am I kidding? It's all towers of broken alien parts! There's literally nothing interesting around here!
MR Z BRAINZ stops and picks up a Shard from a large pile of debris. 	MR Z BRAINZ stops and picks up a Shard from a large pile of debris.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I've always wanted to work for ZEN. But... it's not as great as I thought. And what'll happen once we run out of these...?
MR Z BRAINZ 	...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Hey, at least I have a job. Even if it's boring, at least I can provide for my brothers! And besides, this ZENopolis sounds like a nice city. We might even be able to get a good apartment there once it's been built.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I still have the aching feeling I don't have the full picture, though. Maybe I'm just an idiot.
He reaches to place the Shard back down, but notices a brown handle-like object underneath where the Shard was. 	He reaches to place the Shard back down, but notices a brown handle-like object underneath where the Shard was.
MR Z BRAINZ 	That doesn't look like normal debris. Could it be...? An anomaly? I need to inspect this!
MR Z BRAINZ grabs the handle and pulls as hard as he can. The mysterious object comes loose, revealing it to be a sign-like being. 	MR Z BRAINZ grabs the handle and pulls as hard as he can. The mysterious object comes loose, revealing it to be a sign-like being.
Sinigi 	Zzzzz...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Hey, are you okay?
Sinigi 	*wakes up* hey, HEY! LEAVE ME ALONE, WORM! I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY- Woah, woah! Wait! You're not Worm!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Worm? Who the heck? Who even are you?
Sinigi 	Me? Sinigi. I live here.
MR Z BRAINZ 	In this pile of debris?
Sinigi 	No, you idiot! I was trapped here!
MR Z BRAINZ 	By who?
Sinigi 	By WORM! That little nightmare trapped me in this pile of debris! I've been screaming for help for weeks!
MR Z BRAINZ 	You were sleeping when I first found you.
Sinigi 	I need to sleep as well, you know!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Okay, okay. First things first. Who is Worm?
Sinigi 	Worm is evil, despicable, a pure entity of chaos. Even the Apparitions hide in fear when Worm shows up in the crash site, searching.
MR Z BRAINZ 	A being of chaos? ...Searching for what?
Sinigi 	It's been a mystery, but I've been able to figure out Worm's looking for-
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!! 	HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!
Sinigi 	Nevermind, we need to go! It's an emergency!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Is somebody in trouble!?
Sinigi 	No, this is my chance to get revenge on Worm!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Yeah, but it sounds like somebody's in trouble.
Sinigi 	Which means Worm is there! And from the sounds of it, deeper within the wreckage!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Deeper? It's filled with deadly Apparitions! I've seen for myself!
Sinigi 	Good point. Okay, here's an idea! Use me as a living weapon!
MR Z BRAINZ 	What???
Sinigi 	It's not that farfetched of a combat technique! Good luck trying to fight off hordes of Apparitions with a wooden stick!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Uh... Okay? It doesn't make any sense, but if it'll help...
Sinigi 	Great! We need to make haste! To the center!
02: Battle to the center	02: Battle to the center
Area:Crash Site 	Follow the unknown voice deep into the wreckage!
Enemies:Apparitions 	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ
After fighting off the Apparitions, MR Z and Sinigi make it to the core of the *, where a large crater surrounded by spherical holes can be seen.	After fighting off the Apparitions, MR Z and Sinigi make it to the core of the *, where a large crater surrounded by spherical holes can be seen.
Wet Balloon 	HEEEEEEEEEEEELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Worm 	Oh, SHUT UP! Nobody's going to come! You're not leaving until you tell me how to get to Balloonia!
Wet Balloon 	W-wait. You're not going to put me in one of those holes?
Worm 	Uh. No. That wasn't my plan. I just hoped nobody would hear you from here, you whiny blimp.
Wet Balloon 	Oh, alright. Thanks for clarifying.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Hey, let that thing go!
Sinigi 	Hey, come and fight me! I need a rematch!
Worm 	Oh? Looks like people DID hear you. Oh well. Let's see who we have here...
Worm 	Sinigi! Why did you leave that pile of shards I shoved you into? Bold of you to come back. I thought you knew this was my territory.
Sinigi 	Leave the reactor alone, Worm!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Wait, THAT'S Worm? I kinda expected a demon, or a huge monster, or... Well, I'm not sure. But that is just a cute harmless worm. With an eye in its mouth.
Wet Balloon 	You're a worm and your name IS Worm, how weird.
Worm 	THAT'S NOT MY ACTUAL NAME! AND I AM NOT CUTE AND HARMLESS! I CAN MURDER YOU IN 73831037 WAYS!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Wait, please don't murder me! I need to know what's going on first!
Worm 	Alright, glad you asked. This is the *'s central reactor. This crater was where the main core was, and these holes are where the secondary energy cores are meant to be. They're all missing.
Worm 	The * runs on elemental energy, from what I can gather. These cores would supply the power to the main core. And let's say I used myself as the main core, and got the reactor running again.
Worm 	UNLIMITED POWER! I'D FINALLY...
Worm 	...Except the elemental cores are nowhere to be seen. I've been chasing leads for as long as I can remember. I've been led to believe they're being kept by the higher-ups of the secret elemental cloud paradise Balloonia. And guess what? A resident just happens to have gotten lost! So I've taken them here for interrogation, and what do you know?
Worm 	The dumb thing DOESN'T KNOW!
Worm 	I've been keeping this area under my control, so that when the day comes, I'll have the reactor all to myself. The Apparitions don't even dare to lay a wing on me. But lately the area's been more populated. ZEN! They want to build their own city here, and I know exactly why.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Okay, so long story short, you're an evil incarnation of chaos who wants to rule the world, and you're keeping this reactor under your control so you can activate it with these elemental cores, but you don't know where they are, and this Balloonian here won't tell you where Balloonia is, and ZENopolis is a secret way to stop you from achieving your plans.
Sinigi 	More or less. But I have a score to settle.
Worm 	No, go ahead. Fight me. You'll end up in worse than a pile of shards this time.
Worm 	Oh, and zombie boy? Stay out of this. You're just another one of those ZEN Workers who want nothing more than to get their paycheck. Please leave. This doesn't concern you at all.
Sinigi 	Yeah? I bet the both of us would be able to take you on. And we'd win.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Aha, uh... That might be a bit too bold...
Sinigi 	No, I'm being honest. Let's do it.
Worm 	You want a fight? Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you.
Wet Balloon 	Nice, a fight.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Hey, I didn't agree to this-
BOSS: Worm hands your shards to you	BOSS: Worm hands your shards to you
Area:Fateful Reactor 	Yeah, good luck.(NOTE: This battle is heavily stacked in Worm's favour, and is almost impossible to win without hacking. The player is intended to lose this battle and the plot will still progress if they do.)
Boss:Worm 	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ
If the player loses: 	If the player loses:
MR Z BRAINZ and Sinigi are knocked back and collapse on the ground. Worm crawls up near them.	MR Z BRAINZ and Sinigi are knocked back and collapse on the ground. Worm crawls up near them.
Worm 	Come on, get up! Are you seriously finished now?
Sinigi 	No... We've hardly started...
MR Z BRAINZ 	I'm feeling kind of finished right now... Ugh...
Sinigi 	...Okay, fine. You win. But we'll come back!
Worm 	No, this is boring. I warned you to stay away and you didn't, so there won't be a next time. I'll finish you two right here and now.
Wet Balloon 	No, leave them alone! I'll fight you!
Worm 	Don't bother!
Worm blasts Wet Balloon away. 	Worm blasts Wet Balloon away.
Worm 	I'll get to you later, and then we'll have another chat about Balloonia, okay?
Worm 	Right, and as for you two? I hope your spirits learn to stay out of my way.
Sinigi 	You can't even kill... Hey, what's your name? I never found out.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...Brainz. MR Z BRAINZ.
Sinigi 	You can't even kill Brainz, he's a zombie!
Worm 	You can kill anything if you can put your mind to it. Nobody is immortal.
Sinigi 	Yes, but he's already dead!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Uh... Are you going to kill us?
Worm 	Oh, right! Stop stalling!
Sinigi 	You can't kill something that's already dead, that's common sense.
Worm 	SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU WILL BE DEAD AND NOBODY WILL CARE! NOBODY WILL REMEMBER YOU! NOBODY WILL BAT AN EYE!
Worm starts charging up a lethal blast of energy. 	Worm starts charging up a lethal blast of energy.
Worm 	BUT FOR ME, YOU'RE JUST MORE WEEDS TO DESTROY! YOU-
Worm suddenly stops. 	Worm suddenly stops.
Worm 	YOU... You... W-what!?
Worm 	That energy... I can... I can sense it... Y-you're... You're...
MR Z BRAINZ 	...Me?
Worm 	AGH, FORGET ABOUT IT! I'M OUT OF HERE!
Wet Balloon 	What about me?
Worm 	KEEP THE BALLOON, I DON'T CARE! I'M LEAVING!
Worm 	...But mark my words. I will succeed. And don't dare get in my way again, got it!?
Worm makes a hasty exit. 	Worm makes a hasty exit.
Sinigi 	Uh, what happened? ...Why did Worm freak out?
MR Z BRAINZ 	No clue... But we're safe... I can't take anymore of this...
Sinigi 	Which means we technically won! Take that, Worm! You can't stop me!
If the player wins (which is near-impossible without cheating): 	If the player wins (which is near-impossible without cheating):
Worm gets knocked back with a look of disbelief. 	Worm gets knocked back with a look of disbelief.
Worm 	Ow... No... HOW!?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Wow, we actually won!
Sinigi 	I told you we could beat you!
Worm 	NO! NO YOU HAVE NOT! I CALL UNFAIR PLAY!
Worm 	I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, BUT IT'S CHEATING! YOU CHEATED!
Sinigi 	We won fair and square. I think. I didn't really think this was possible.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Something feels fishy, yeah. But we still won.
Worm 	YOU WANT TO PLAY UNFAIR? FINE, I CAN TOO!
Worm releases a blast of energy that knocks MR Z BRAINZ and Sinigi away and instantly defeats them.	Worm releases a blast of energy that knocks MR Z BRAINZ and Sinigi away and instantly defeats them.
Worm 	IN FACT, YOU JUST WANTED TO SEE IF I'D SAY ANYTHING FUNNY! WELL, FORGET THAT! I WON'T GIVE YOU ANYTHING! GOODBYE!
Worm makes a hasty exit. 	Worm makes a hasty exit.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Ow... Talk about a sore loser...
After either outcome: 	After either outcome:
Wet Balloon 	Hey, are you two okay? Worm beat you up pretty bad. I probably should've done something sooner...
MR Z BRAINZ 	You... You didn't do a thing... Ugh...
Sinigi 	I'm just fine. I work well as a living weapon.
Wet Balloon 	Well, I should introduce myself. I'm Wet Balloon. I don't know how to explain it, but I got lost and somehow I ended up near here. And then Worm found me.
Sinigi 	You're from Balloonia, right? The elemental paradise? Is it really as beautiful as I've heard?
Wet Balloon 	Uh, I guess. I can explain on the way, though. This place gives me the creeps...
Sinigi 	Right, let's go.
Sinigi 	...Ugh! The force of Worm's attack wedged me into the ground! I can't move! Hey, pull me out!
Wet Balloon 	I don't have hands...
Sinigi 	Brainz, get up!
MR Z BRAINZ 	I'd rather sleep......
Wet Balloon 	I think he's passing out.
MR Z BRAINZ 	......
Sinigi 	Oh, come on!
Wet Balloon 	Ah! I'll find help! I'll get help! Hold on for a minute...!
The camera fades to black.	The camera fades to black.
==Racers, Phanmets and Ghostly Deserts==
...Who am I? I can't feel my arms... I can't feel my legs... What's happened to me?
I feel... empty. Alone. I feel like I've lost myself entirely...
It's dark. Dark and cramped. I feel trapped. I can't seem to move...
...I can't remember what happened. There was something, but I've totally forgotten.
I'll be okay. I can fix this. I just need to start at the beginning.
Let's see... My name. My name... I think I remember. My name is...
Wet Balloon 	Brainz! Wake up!
MR Z BRAINZ finds himself in a bed, in a small house.	MR Z BRAINZ finds himself in a bed, in a small house.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Huh?
Poffer Lord 	Oh, you're finally awake!
MR Z BRAINZ 	What happened!?
Sinigi 	You passed out, that's what! And then Wet Balloon got utterly lost! And I was wedged in the ground for ages!
Poffer Lord 	I just happened to be nearby, thankfully. What in the *'s name were you three doing in the Crash Site!?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Well, you were there too! You saved us! Hey, who even are you?
A Poffer jumps onto the bed. 	A Poffer jumps onto the bed.
MR Z BRAINZ 	And what's this thing?
Poffer 	Poff!
Wet Balloon 	Oh yeah, those are his Poffers! They're adorable and fluffy. I wish I had a bunch as pets too.
Poffer Lord 	I told you, they're not pets! They're clanmates!
Wet Balloon 	They're fluffy, cute, and they give me an uncontrollable urge to pet them, and I don't even have hands!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Uh...
Poffer Lord 	You know, if you aggravate them, they can release a deadly venom through their spikes, so leave them ALONE!
Sinigi 	They don't even have spikes, it's all fluff!
Poffer Lord 	They have them all over, and they're retractable! They can leave a predator paralysed for months!
MR Z BRAINZ 	I'm too terrified of this thing to move.
Poffer 	Poff?
Poffer Lord 	Well, don't wet the bed, because that's MY bed, and it's already dirty from all the mud you were lying in.
MR Z BRAINZ 	There wasn't that much mud.
Wet Balloon 	Oh, right! I added some more mud while you were knocked out!
MR Z BRAINZ 	WHY!?
Wet Balloon 	The moisture is important! You would've died from dehydration. ...Died again from dehydration.
Sinigi 	To be fair, the balloon's right. I was stuck in that Shard pile for ages, and I'm dry as a signpost spirit in a very dry desert.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Okay, okay, forget about the mud! I still don't know who this guy is!
Poffer Lord 	Right, I haven't introduced myself. I'm the Poffer Lord. These are my clanmate Poffers, and I'm their current leader.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Wait, so you're in charge of these... Deadly fluffballs?
Poffer Lord 	In a way, but it feels like they lead me more then I lead them. You see, Poffers have this strange natural ability to travel through space and time. If they find a broken patch in the omniversial space-time fabric, they can squeeze through it and appear to warp out of existance. Soon after, they fall out, in another time, space, or even universe. Anyone near them when they warp gets taken along for the ride as well. That's how I stay with them.
Sinigi 	You can time travel, teleport, and go to other stardamm universes WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT?
Poffer Lord 	No, that's not how it works! There needs to be a broken patch! And besides, I have no control over their warps. They travel in clans, so as soon as one Poffer warps, they all follow suit. I need to stay close to them so I don't get left behind. I have noticed one persistent thing about the warps, though. You always end up somewhere where your presence is needed.
Wet Balloon 	Anyway, how do you become a Poffer Lord? Asking for... A friend. A Balloon. Not me. A different one. With a preference for liquid.
Poffer Lord 	I didn't choose them, they chose me. Clans of Poffers pick their leaders based on many qualities, but they do especially love a show of power. Once they've picked you, you get given the cloak, and the staff. They kill you if you refuse. And I need to carry around this cloak and staff at all times, because they'll kill me if I lose them too.
Sinigi 	THESE MONSTERS!
Poffer Lord 	No, no! They're really kind and affectionate! They all love me as a leader, and it isn't that bad as a job, really! It is a bit of a pain never being able to stay in one place for too long, though. Only a few weeks at most. I've always ended up back here, though. It's home, I guess.
MR Z BRAINZ 	How long have you been Poffer Lord?
Poffer Lord 	Three months.
MR Z BRAINZ 	How long until they pick a new leader?
Poffer Lord 	Until they want to, I suppose.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Damm, that sucks. I wouldn't want to be stuck with a bunch of murder fluffballs, jumping from universe to universe every few days.
Poffer Lord 	It's certainly stopped you three from being lost in the Crash Site forever, so it's a blessing, I guess.
Sinigi 	Hey, are you even from Starcenta? Are you some sort of alien? What face lies behind that cloak? I need to know...
Poffer Lord 	I'll be killed if I take it off. I don't mind at all, though. I'm really shy.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Well, I think I need to get going. Thanks for saving us. I'm probably late for work.
Sinigi 	What if Worm comes back!?
MR Z BRAINZ 	I mean, we still lost.
Wet Balloon 	Wait, I still need to go home!
Poffer Lord 	No, don't leave! I need to talk to you all. You want to make a difference in the world, right? It's about you-know-what.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Me?
Sinigi 	WORM?
Wet Balloon 	Water!?
Poffer 	Poff!
Poffer Lord 	None of those. I mean the Elemental Cores. You were near the reactor, so I'm assuming you're interested in them.
Sinigi 	No, not us. Worm's trying to collect them!
Poffer Lord 	Worm's no issue. I'm talking about THIS.
Poffer Lord takes out a flyer from inside his cloak. 	Poffer Lord takes out a flyer from inside his cloak.
 	
Poffer Lord 	The annual Gravion Cup Tournament. It's for ghosts. And this flyer was released to the public.
Wet Balloon 	Oh, stars! I get it! That graphic design is so terrible it's killing people from the sheer ugliness!
Poffer Lord 	No! Look at the trophy. That strange orb inside, I believe, is an Elemental Core. It's gonna attract dangerous eyes.
MR Z BRAINZ 	So Worm's going after that next.
Poffer Lord 	Not just Worm! THEM!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Who?
Poffer Lord 	I'm on the run from an elite organisation of agents who want their hands on the Elemental Cores. They call themselves the Order of the Sapphire - they believe the world should return to a state before Shards, and they think anything relating to the * is pure poison. It's not just Worm you want to worry about.
Sinigi 	Right, and why does it matter?
Poffer Lord 	They've raided and torched settlements just from the very hint of an Elemental Core being present! If a single Elemental Core falls into their hands, they're one step closer to victory! That core is right out there in the open! Sapphire agents are probably on their way this very second!
Sinigi 	Not if Worm gets it first.
Poffer Lord 	We can stop it. I propose we form an alliance. We'll head to the tournament, get the trophy, and leave before our enemies arrive with the core in-hand. We'll go on a journey from there, finding and keeping every core safe.
MR Z BRAINZ 	And then what?
Poffer Lord 	I've got friends back in Balloonia, so we can take them there, where they're safe and in the hands of the Balloonian government and the Good Wood itself.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Worm was under the impression that they were already in Balloonia.
Poffer Lord 	Worm was misinformed. They were there a long time ago, but have since passed between hands over the years and now have scattered all over Starcenta.
Wet Balloon 	That works out for me then, because I need to go to Balloonia too!
Sinigi 	I propose we call ourselves the Starsearch Alliance!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Eh, I don't like it.
Poffer Lord 	I'm not a fan.
Wet Balloon 	I'd prefer the Water Gang.
Sinigi 	No, it's the Starsearch Alliance, I named it first!
MR Z BRAINZ 	I can't be bothered to argue, so fine.
MR Z BRAINZ JOINED THE ALLIANCE! (Sinigi did too.) 	MR Z BRAINZ JOINED THE ALLIANCE! (Sinigi did too.)
WET BALLOON JOINED THE ALLIANCE! 	WET BALLOON JOINED THE ALLIANCE!
POFFER LORD JOINED THE ALLIANCE! 	POFFER LORD JOINED THE ALLIANCE!
Poffer Lord 	Okay, so here's the plan. We'll go from here to the wastelands, trek across the desert, and then go into the canyon and make our way to the tournament, all before the Sapphire gets there with their elite military technology.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Sounds hopeless.
Poffer Lord 	It really is, but we can't sit and do nothing while the Sapphire rule the world.
Sinigi 	We're a ragtag alliance now, of course we can do it!
Poffer Lord 	That's the spirit! Now, let's make haste!
Wet Balloon 	Yeah, let's go Water Gang!
Poffer Lord 	Wait, there's something I forgot. You can use shards as more than household appliances. They're crucial in combat, too.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Shards in combat?
Poffer Lord 	I can teach you three. We'll have to go outside, though. I don't want to damage this house.
Wet Balloon 	Isn't this your house?
Poffer Lord 	No, I'm just living here temporarily. I think the owner's on vacation.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I think that's illegal.
Poffer Lord 	Hey, I don't have enough time to purchase real estate...
T2: Shard Training 	T2: Shard Training
Area:Starstruck Fields	The basics of Shard-usage, taught by Poffer Lord.
Enemies:Training Dummy	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon
Wet Balloon 	Wow, the joys of eating dead alien chalk!
MR Z BRAINZ 	...Eating? We kinda just absorb the Shards, right? They kind of crumble in our hands.
Poffer Lord 	I'm still unsure how it works. It appears your skin absorbs the dust when you crush it up, and that's what boosts your power. Why it does so I'll never understand.
Wet Balloon 	Wait, you guys are absorbing it? Aren't you supposed to eat it?
MR Z BRAINZ 	No. That's kind of gross.
Sinigi 	More importantly, where's your stardamm mouth!?
Poffer Lord 	Look, we can figure that out later! We need to get going and start our trek across the desert!
Wet Balloon 	It tastes like astronaut ice cream! You've really gotta give it a try!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Seriously, ew.
As they're talking, Apparitions float in from the outskirts of the Crash Site.	As they're talking, Apparitions float in from the outskirts of the Crash Site.
Poffer Lord 	Wait... Are those Apparitions? What are they doing out of the Crash Site...?
Sinigi 	Aw, they're coming for revenge after the complete beatdown me and Brainz laid on them.
Poffer Lord 	No, but they never leave the Crash Site. Never ever. Something's wrong.
Wet Balloon 	Hey, I've seen those things before! We can practice our Shard-fighting skills on them!
Poffer Lord 	Well, I guess so. Maybe they DO want revenge. They're always in a bad mood, after all.
Sinigi 	Then they can come and get some!
03: Apparitions in the fields 	03: Apparitions in the fields
Area:Starstruck Fields 	What are Apparitions doing here? Whatever, you can beat them up.
Enemies:Apparitions, Blue Apparitions, Brown Apparitions, Yellow Apparitions	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord
Beaten, the Apparitions retreat back into the Crash Site.	Beaten, the Apparitions retreat back into the Crash Site.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Well, we won, but... What was with those differently coloured ones?
Poffer Lord 	Well, they're specially charged with a certain Shard energy. They'll usually drop Shards that look like them, basically.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Weird.
Poffer Lord 	Anyway, we really should get going! We need to be there before the Sapphire is!
Wet Balloon 	Right, right, to the desert. The hot, dry... I don't want to go to the desert anymore.
Poffer Lord 	There'll be an oasis, I guarantee you! We just need to hurry!
Wet Balloon 	Ok, if you say so.
Sinigi 	It'll be a small desert, anyway. Everyone knows deserts are tiny.
Later, as the Alliance make their way across the Haunted Wastelands... 	Later, as the Alliance make their way across the Haunted Wastelands...
Sinigi 	UGH, WHY IS THIS DESERT SO BIG!?
MR Z BRAINZ 	And so hot!
Wet Balloon 	And so dryyyyyy...
Poffer Lord 	WE'VE BEEN WALKING FOR FIVE MINUTES!
Wet Balloon 	But I'll die if I don't absorb liquid for five minutes...
Poffer Lord 	(sigh) I have some water.
Wet Balloon 	Much appreciated.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Hey, why does Wet Balloon get the water?
Sinigi 	We'll die too!
Poffer Lord 	Look, the most important thing is that we don't attract the attention of the Phanmets.
Sinigi 	The what?
Poffer Lord 	Phanmets. They're desert dwellers. They practically control this desert. They're practically why nobody travels to it, despite the desert only being a short walk away. They're unruly, mean and they build and race cars.
Wet Balloon 	Oh! I wanna join them!
Poffer Lord 	You wouldn't want to. They see anything outside their clan as a threat, ESPECIALLY headgear, and ESPECIALLY other cars. They see that as a challenge. And they WILL race you. And they will KILL you if they don't win. And they'll probably kill you anyway if they do.
Wet Balloon 	It'd be worth it.
Sinigi 	Awesome! If we don't get pummelled to death by Phanmets, we'll either die of thirst or go crazy and start eating each other! Brainz definitely would, he's the zombie!
MR Z BRAINZ 	NO! Zombies eating people is an URBAN MYTH! Nothing like that has ever happened! I'm fed up of everyone generalising us as mindless people-eaters!
Poffer Lord 	Well, maybe they're right! You seem pretty crazy right now!
MR Z BRAINZ 	You're the one pretending to know everything! How do you know so much about Starcenta, despite coming and going to different places every few days!
Poffer Lord 	Look, I do a lot of reading! It sounds like I've learned more in a few days than you have in your whole life!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Sorry I'm not some deluded old wizard, then!
Poffer Lord 	I'M 19 YEARS OLD!
Wet Balloon 	Guys, guys! This desert is TEARING US APART!
MR Z BRAINZ 	You're right... The heat is getting to us...
Poffer Lord 	Yeah, between this and the Phanmets, I can see why nobody travels here. If you wanted to hide from the whole world, you'd probably hide here.
Sinigi 	Let's turn back and find a different route, then! This isn't worth the struggle!
Wet Balloon 	Actually, here's an idea! Let's call a taxi!
MR Z BRAINZ 	...A taxi? What taxi would pick us up in the middle of a wasteland?
Sinigi 	For *'s sake, you're so childish! Stop messing around and think logically for once, Wet Balloon!
Wet Balloon 	No, it'll work! Watch this! ...Ahem...
Wet Balloon 	TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!
... 	...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Ow... Why are you so loud?
... 	...
Sinigi 	See? Nothing. You're deluded.
... 	...
Wet Balloon 	It's just driving here.
Sinigi 	Ugh, you utter moron-
Suddenly, a taxi pulls up right next to the group. Someone pushes open the door.	Suddenly, a taxi pulls up right next to the group. Someone pushes open the door.
Taxi 	Hey, you called?
Wet Balloon 	See? Taxi!
Sinigi 	You have got to be kidding me...
Taxi 	Come with me if you want to pay a reasonable toll for a trip across the desert.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Definitely.
The group piles into the taxi as it drives away across the wastelands. 	The group piles into the taxi as it drives away across the wastelands.
In the taxi: 	In the taxi:
Taxi 	So, do you three-
Sinigi 	FOUR!
Taxi 	...do you four want a trip beyond the gorge or just to the edge of the desert? I do hear the Ecozian Mountains are nice this time of year. As long as you stay clear of the sirens, of course.
Poffer Lord 	We're looking to get to the Gravion Cup.
Taxi 	Ah, it's always a great opportunity to watch the ghosts beat the ectoplasm out of each other. You guys are okay with small talk, right?
Sinigi 	No.
Wet Balloon 	(louder) Yes!
Taxi 	Then allow me to introduce myself properly. The name's Taxi, and I drive a taxi.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I think we gathered that part already.
Poffer Lord 	Well, I'm the Poffer Lord. This zombie is my good friend MR Z BRAINZ. The zeppelin is Wet Balloon.
Sinigi 	and I'm our fearless leader, Sinigi!
Wet Balloon 	Your name is Taxi? And you're a taxi driver?
Taxi 	...It's short for Taximie, but yeah. It's something of a funny coincidence.
Wet Balloon 	Maybe it's your DESTINY!
Taxi 	(looks at Wet Balloon) Nah, it's not exactly fate. I'm just trying to get out and about, see the world. And maybe rack in some cash while I'm at it.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Uh... Maybe keep your eyes on the wheel...
Taxi 	I'm a trained professional. I know what I'm doing.
MR Z BRAINZ 	W-wait, you don't even HAVE eyes!
Taxi 	It's fine. I'm a Magnetoid, we use echolocation.
Sinigi 	As if that would compare to actually seeing! You'll get us killed!
Taxi 	Relax... I've made this trip many times. NOTHING is going to go wrong.
Suddenly the taxi skids to a halt as a group of Phanmet cars drive in to block the way. 	Suddenly the taxi skids to a halt as a group of Phanmet cars drive in to block the way.
Taxi 	...stardammit...
Poffer Lord 	Headgear AND an opposing vehicle! That's the two things they hate MOST!
The group exits the taxi as a group of Phanmets surround them, and a large metal-clad being approaches 	The group exits the taxi as a group of Phanmets surround them, and a large metal-clad being approaches
The Phantom Spiker 	AH... TAXI... MY GREATEST NEMESIS... WE MEET AGAIN...
MR Z BRAINZ 	You two know each other?
The Phantom Spiker 	KNOW WHO? I AM SPEAKING TO THE VEHICLE...
MR Z BRAINZ 	..oh.
Mechaphanmet 	Boss, my senses indicate the group consists of a Magnetoid, a Balloon, a seemingly undead being, and one being of unknown composition.
Sinigi 	AND ME!
The Phantom Spiker 	UGH, I HATE TAXIS... THESE YELLOW-CLAD CARS... THINK THEY CAN JUST DRIVE THROUGH OUR TERRITORY... JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE GETTING MONEY FOR IT...
Taxi 	...With all due respect, we haven't negotiated the fare yet... So technically I'm not getting anything, if you and your gang kill us right now.
Poffer Lord 	...Taxi, would fighting off hordes of Phanmets count towards the fare?
Taxi 	Depends. (turns back to the Phantom Spiker) Do we need to?
The Phantom Spiker 	ARE YOU... TRYING TO INTIMIDATE ME...?
Taxi 	No, I just need the info for the fare calculation.
Sinigi 	Forget about the fare! We challenge your gang to a rightful DUEL!
The Phantom Spiker 	HAHA... PATHETIC... NO NEED FOR THAT... YOU'RE NOTHING BUT TOURISTS...
Mechaphanmet 	...Excuse me, boss, but I'm sensing some strong Shard energy signatures from this group. I wouldn't advise... attempting to kill them and all.
The Phantom Spiker 	...YOU THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN EAT CHALK?
Wet Balloon 	Yeah!
The Phantom Spiker 	YOU'RE NOT WORTH MY BREATH... ELIMINATE THEM, GANG!
Mechaphanmet 	Boss, the energy-
The Phantom Spiker 	SHUT UP, TIN CAN! DO YOU WANT ME TO SCRAP YOU AND SEND YOU TO THE JUNKYARD?
Mechaphanmet 	(Your car already looks like a junkyard...)
Poffer Lord 	...Hey, Taxi? Would you mind joining our group briefly so you can help us fight these Phanmets?
Taxi 	Yeah, sure. I'll add that as an additional cost.
TAXI JOINED THE ALLIANCE! (BUT ONLY TEMPORARILY, AND FEES WILL BE DISCUSSED AFTER THIS LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION!)	TAXI JOINED THE ALLIANCE! (BUT ONLY TEMPORARILY, AND FEES WILL BE DISCUSSED AFTER THIS LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION!)
04: Phanmet Battle 	04: Phanmet Battle
Area:Haunted Wastelands	Angry ghost helmets. You know what to do.
Enemies:Phanmets 	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi
Mechaphanmet 	Our numbers are decimated. Told you so.
Wet Balloon 	I mean, they're ghosts, right? They'll be fine!
The Phantom Spiker 	ENOUGH! I WILL DEAL WITH THESE TRAVELLERS MYSELF.
The Phantom Spiker 	THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS...
Sinigi 	ANOTHER BATTLE!
The Phantom Spiker 	A RACE BETWEEN OUR VEHICLES!
Taxi 	A race, huh?
The Phantom Spiker 	YES. IF I WIN, I KILL YOU. IF I LOSE, I'LL PROBABLY STILL KILL YOU.
MR Z BRAINZ 	No, this doesn't sound entirely fair.
Poffer Lord 	I mean, I told you this would happen.
The Phantom Spiker 	READY YOUR PATHETIC VEHICLE. I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU AT THE RACETRACK.
MR Z BRAINZ 	You guys have a racetrack?
The Phantom Spiker 	OF COURSE WE DO. MECHAPHANMET, YOU GO WITH THEM AND MAKE SURE THEY DON'T FLEE.
Mechaphanmet 	Understood.
The Phantom Spiker 	AND AS FOR YOU FOUR...
Sinigi 	FIVE! THERE'S FIVE OF US! STOP PRETENDING I DON'T EXIST!
The Phantom Spiker 	...WE WILL SEE IF YOUR DRIVING SKILLS ARE AS GOOD AS YOUR FIGHTING SKILLS.
Phantom Spiker walks away laughing with the rest of the Phanmets, leaving the group with Mechaphanmet.	Phantom Spiker walks away laughing with the rest of the Phanmets, leaving the group with Mechaphanmet.
Mechaphanmet 	So... What exactly brings you to this desert of all places?
MR Z BRAINZ 	We're trying to go to the Gravion Cup.
Mechaphanmet 	And you took the long and dangerous desert route instead of the perfectly good highway that goes AROUND the desert.
Wet Balloon 	The... what?
Poffer Lord 	Stardammit... (takes out his map) This map is 50 years outdated...
MR Z BRAINZ 	So you don't know everything after all?
Poffer Lord 	Taxi, why didn't you route us there!?
Taxi 	Hey, I don't ask questions! You ask for a desert trip, I'll give you a desert trip!
Sinigi 	Forget about the highway! Let's just beat the stuffing out of this machine and bolt for it!
Mechaphanmet 	Uh... You'll be late for the race if you do...
Taxi 	Hey, I've always wanted to try racing! Can we at least give it a shot?
Sinigi 	Ugh, fineeeee. But THEN we'll lay the beatdown on all of them.
Later, at the racetrack, Taxi and Phantom Spiker have their cars ready. 	Later, at the racetrack, Taxi and Phantom Spiker have their cars ready.
Mechaphanmet 	Phanmets and Non-Phanmets, welcome to the unofficial Desert Prix. The first race is between our Phantom Spiker and the taxi-driver, and will take place on a track specially prepared for-
The Phantom Spiker 	SHUT UP! LET THE RACING BEGIN!
Mechaphanmet 	...A track specially prepared for off-road desert races, usually used for fun by the Phanmets. This time, it's entirely competitive, and the loser will be sentenced to death.
Taxi 	It's a risk I'm ready to take.
Mechaphanmet 	Racers, start your engines...
Ready... 	Ready...
Set... 	Set...
GO! 	GO!
Minigame: Shard Karts 	Minigame: Shard Karts
Area:Phanmet Racetrack 	Beat the Phantom Spiker in a race!
Opponent:Phantom Spiker	Playable Character:Taxi
Taxi zooms over the finish line, followed shortly by the Phantom Spiker.	Taxi zooms over the finish line, followed shortly by the Phantom Spiker.
Taxi 	Haha, I won! And in this clunky taxi, too!
The Phantom Spiker 	STARDUST! MY HEADLIGHTS TOUCHED THE FINISH LINE FIRST!
Taxi 	You're the one stardusting!
The rest of the group run up to congratulate Taxi. 	The rest of the group run up to congratulate Taxi.
Wet Balloon 	We'd lift you up and cheer, but you'd probably crush us all!
Sinigi 	So, what's our reward?
The Phantom Spiker 	THE ONLY REWARD YOU'LL BE GETTING IS MY FIST!
Sinigi 	What's it made of? Steel?
The Phantom Spiker 	NO! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!
Poffer Lord 	Ah, right. This was rigged against us from the start.
Taxi 	Yeah, I should've known. Everyone, into the taxi!
The group pile into the taxi as it drives off. 	The group pile into the taxi as it drives off.
The Phantom Spiker 	HEY, YOU CAN'T JUST- AGH, EVERYONE AFTER THEM!
Mechaphanmet 	The Gravion Cup's about to start, boss. We'll be late if you pursue them further.
The Phantom Spiker 	...ALRIGHT, FINE. WE'LL GO TO THE GRAVION CUP INSTEAD. BUT NOBODY BETTER SPEAK ABOUT THIS AGAIN, YOU HEAR!?
(Murmured agreements from the Phanmets) 	(Murmured agreements from the Phanmets)
The Phantom Spiker 	THOSE TRAVELLERS WILL RUE THE DAY THEY MESSED WITH THE PHANTOM SPIKER! I WON'T LET THEM FORGET THIS!
==Undefeated Ghost Fighting Champion==
The taxi pulls over at the edge of the canyon.	The taxi pulls over at the edge of the canyon.
Taxi 	Welp, here's our stop. The canyon is too rough to drive through, so this is as far as I can take you.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Thanks for all the help.
Taxi 	Races aren't part of my job description, but it was kinda fun. Anyway... taking into account the life-endangering situation... your fare is 73831037 shardcoins.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...I can't afford that. (turns to Poffer Lord)
Poffer Lord 	I'm just as broke as you are! (turns to Wet Balloon)
Wet Balloon 	It's in Balloonia Banks... (turns to Sinigi)
Sinigi 	Yeah, that's right. The sign shaped spirit who's been stuck in the Crash Site for a thousand years has cash.
Wet Balloon 	Where do you keep it?
Sinigi 	I'm being SARCASTIC, you oversized bath bomb!
Wet Balloon 	Hey, that's hurtful!
Taxi 	Uh... Looks like I have no choice but to follow you around until you can pay off your debt.
TAXI IS NOW STALKING YOU! 	TAXI IS NOW STALKING YOU!
Poffer Lord 	If you help us win the Gravion Cup, we could pay you off with the winnings.
Taxi 	Hmm... alright. But I'll need to leave the taxi here, so if it gets stolen, I'm adding that onto the fare.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I'm never getting a taxi again.
Sinigi 	It was this or the desert, zombieman.
Poffer Lord 	We better watch out, though. The canyon's filled with rock spirits, probably on their way to the Gravion Cup too.
MR Z BRAINZ 	They'll let us pass, right?
Poffer Lord 	...
MR Z BRAINZ 	WHY IS EVERYONE HERE SO VIOLENT!?
Sinigi 	We'll get good practice for the tournament this way, though.
Taxi 	You're right. And we NEED to win the cup, so I can get my paycheck.
05: Canyon Trek 	05: Canyon Trek
Area:Gravion Canyon 	Make your way to the colosseum.
Enemies:Rock Spirits, Ghost Fighters	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi
The group, out of breath, finally make it to the entrance of the Spectral Colosseum.	The group, out of breath, finally make it to the entrance of the Spectral Colosseum.
Ghost 	Welcome, guests. The Gravion Cup is about to start. Where are your tickets?
MR Z BRAINZ 	T-tickets!?
Ghost 	Haha, I am only joking. Us ghosts are too dead to hold paper. Spectators go right on that way.
Poffer Lord 	Uh, we want to register into the tournament. To fight, I mean.
Ghost 	Sorry, it's a ghost tournament. Dead people only.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I'm a zombie, does that count?
Ghost 	You're not dead. You're undead. Completely different thing.
Sinigi 	Forget this! We need a different approach!
Poffer Lord 	If we spectate and then calmly try and recruit the victor we could-
Sinigi 	HEY, SPOOKY BOY! LET US IN OR WE'LL KILL YOU!
Ghost 	I'm dead. I'm not intimidated.
Taxi 	What about cash? These guys are happy to pay up.
Ghost 	We have no use for money, either.
Wet Balloon 	Maybe we could-
Tam 	Ey, listen up! If these twerps wanna join, you let em in!
Ghost 	T-the champion!? Of course, sir!
Wet Balloon 	Huh? They listen to you?
Tam 	I've won this thing four years in a row, they worship me like a god. Anyway, the name's Tam th Ghos Tortl, and I'm a huge deal around here.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...why are you letting us in?
Tam 	Heh, to tell the truth... beating up ghosts is too easy. I've missed the feeling of beating solid people to a pulp.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...oh.
Sinigi 	Bold to assume we'd lose to you.
Tam 	Wow, what a cocky one. I've never lost in my life. Not to anyone. And I never will. This cup will be my fifth victory in a row.
Poffer Lord 	...well, if you're so set on winning, mind if we talk to you about the Elemental Co-
Tam 	Save the chit chat for when you're begging for mercy. I need to get ready for the arena.
Tam floats off. 	Tam floats off.
Taxi 	He sounds like a child, though. Is he really that strong?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Let's try to avoid him as much as possible.
Poffer Lord 	He did get us into the tournament, though.
Ghost 	Yes, how unfortunate. You lot hurry through here, then. Join the other GHOST competitors.
The crowd goes wild as the competitors step into the arena.	The crowd goes wild as the competitors step into the arena.
Mono 	Hello, one and all, and welcome to the 45th annual Gravion Cup! Ghosts from all across Starcenta are here to battle it out for this year's special reward - a shiny golden trophy! We wanted to make it special this year, so we threw in a bonus - a weird orb that we found in the basement.
MR Z BRAINZ 	(whispers) That guy's not a ghost.
Taxi 	(whispers) He's hired, they get new announcers each year. Keeps it fresh.
Mono 	Traditionally, the first round is a free-for-all between every competitor in the arena, and we stop when there are only eight standing. After that, it shifts into a regular tournament between the last competitors.
Wet Balloon 	(whispers) Wait, what if we end up fighting EACH OTHER?
Poffer Lord 	(whispers) I didn't really think this through...
MR Z BRAINZ 	(whispers) It looks like Tam's on the other side of the arena, so at least he won't be coming after us yet.
Mono 	With that said, it's time to get the fighting underway! The Gravion Cup starts... NOW!
06: Free-for-all 	06: Free-for-all
Area:Spectral Colosseum 	Don't die.
Enemies:Ghost Fighters, Rock Spirits, Phanmets	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi
Mono 	Hold on, folks... I'm getting word that... the rules have been changed. There will no longer be a tournament. This is now a fight to the death. Wait, is that right? They're already dead, so it wouldn't make a difference if-
Mono 	-Sorry, I'm also hearing that the cup can also be won by... multiple participants... if they are in an allied group. This doesn't make any sense...
The audience protests at this change.	The audience protests at this change.
Ghost 1 	This is ridiculous! Tampering, I say!
Ghost 2 	I call foul play!
Ghost 3 	More like ghoul play!
Ghost 4 	You don't even pronounce "ghoul" like "foul", that joke's stupid!
Ghost 1 	You talking to me?
Ghost 4 	No, the other guy!
Ghost 2 	Who?
Ghost 4 	How would I know, we all look identical!
MR Z BRAINZ 	...that's weird. That rule works out exactly in our favour.
Wet Balloon 	Is it Tam's doing?
Taxi 	Probably not, it's four against one.
Sinigi 	I'm not even gonna correct you this time. This is just hurtful.
Poffer Lord 	We must have some sort of secret benefactor.
Graspry Graves 	Uh... about that rule... would you guys maybe be interested in teaming up...?
MR Z BRAINZ 	No.
Wet Balloon 	No.
Taxi 	No.
Poffer Lord 	No.
Sinigi 	No.
Graspry Graves 	...but I saw you asking the champion if he-
Poffer Lord 	No.
Graspry Graves 	...really? I guess I'm supposed to kill you instead...
BOSS: Graspry Graves 	BOSS: Graspry Graves
Area:Spectral Colosseum	This is the most pathetic ghost I've ever seen.
Boss:Graspry Graves 	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi
Graspry Graves	Ow... uh... the offer's still on the table...
MR Z BRAINZ 	No.
Graspry Graves	...cool. I'll just... lay on the ground for a while...
Poffer Lord 	Alright, so who's left?
Taxi 	Just Tam and some other- ah, he just beat them up. That just leaves Tam.
Wet Balloon 	I wonder if he's seen us yet.
Sinigi 	Yep, he's coming towards us now.
Tam 	Well, well, well. If it isn't you guys. I was looking for you, y'know.
MR Z BRAINZ 	We're aware.
Tam 	Just listen to the crowd scream! They've been waiting for this final battle! They're rooting for their champion!
Wet Balloon 	They're silent.
Tam 	That's just the suspense, alright!? Since we've been chit chatting for so long!
Sinigi 	Let's start, then. For the Gravion Cup!
Tam 	Heh, heh, heh. It will be an honour to whoop your butts in battle.
BOSS: The Grand Champion	BOSS: The Grand Champion
Area:Spectral Colosseum 	It all comes down to this!
Boss:Tam 	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi
Tam falls to the ground, defeated. 	Tam falls to the ground, defeated.
Tam 	I... lost... no way, I never lose. I never lose... to anyone.
Mono 	Ghouls, spirits and apparitions, it looks like we have a winner! ...or, winners. Hey, are you sure about the whole group thing? Ugh, fine. Congratulations to the champions of the 45th annual Gravion Cup!
The audience cheers. 	The audience cheers.
Ghost 1 	I knew they had it in them!
Ghost 2 	They don't look like ghosts, though.
??? 	...Aha, I've got it! These are the perfect sponsors!
Poffer Lord 	We did it! It was entirely rigged and unfair, but we did it!
Tam 	...thanks, guys. That was the most fun I've ever had in a fight.
Sinigi 	Huh. I always thought of you as the sore loser type!
Tam 	What do you mean, "sore loser type"!?
MR Z BRAINZ 	So, uh. When do we get the trophy?
A crash shakes the colosseum, as Phanmets burst through the wall and surround the arena.	A crash shakes the colosseum, as Phanmets burst through the wall and surround the arena.
The Phantom Spiker 	THE ONLY TROPHY YOU'LL BE GETTING IS MY FIST!
Taxi 	Seriously? Repeated material?
The Phantom Spiker 	THERE IS NO TIME TO THINK OF NEW ONE-LINERS WHEN YOU'RE PLOTTING VIOLENT AND BRUTAL REVENGE!
Mono 	What's this!? A clan of Phanmets has interrupted the Gravion Cup!?
Mechaphanmet 	This was a dumb idea to begin with, honestly. We were waiting out the entire tournament, just sitting outside.
The Phantom Spiker 	BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT! BECAUSE I'M GONNA KILL YOU! AND THERE'S NO CAR TO RUN AWAY IN THIS TIME!
Taxi 	You mean drive, not run.
The Phantom Spiker 	SHUT UP! THERE'S NO ESCAPE FROM ME NOW!
Sinigi 	Alright, you big ugly hunk of metal. It's on.
Poffer Lord 	We might need some extra help, though. (turns to Tam)
Tam 	...?
Poffer Lord 	You're a great fighter. Want to put those skills to saving the world?
MR Z BRAINZ 	We're a proper alliance, crippling debt and all.
Tam 	Haha, I knew you'd ask me. Alright, I'm in. No negotiations needed.
TAM JOINED THE ALLIANCE! 	TAM JOINED THE ALLIANCE!
Poffer Lord 	Wait, you actually wanted to join?
Tam 	To tell the truth... this tournament is way too boring.
Graspry Graves 	...well, if you are recruiting new members, I'm still here...
Tam 	No.
Graspry Graves 	...
The Phantom Spiker 	WELL? I'M WAITING.
Tam 	Alright, gang. Let's show this armoured chump how real champions fight!
BOSS: Phantom of the Tournament 	BOSS: Phantom of the Tournament
Area:Spectral Colosseum 	100% spikier and ready to battle.
Boss:Phantom SpikerEnemies:Phanmets	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi, Tam
The Phantom Spiker 	N-NO, MY ARMOUR-
The Phantom Spiker's armour falls apart, as multiple Phanmets tumble out from inside. 	The Phantom Spiker's armour falls apart, as multiple Phanmets tumble out from inside.
The Phantom Spiker 	AGH, NO! You've RUINED my elaborate combat mech armour!
Taxi 	Hahahahahahahahaha! Who would've known the Phantom Spiker was such a puny thing!?
The Phantom Spiker 	No, no, no! Stop it! Stop laughing!
Wet Balloon 	You're just a tiny adorable Phanmet!
The Phantom Spiker 	Shut up, shut up, shut up! Phanmets, retreat!
Mechaphanmet 	Time for repairs, I guess...
The Phanmets rush back out of the hole they created in the wall. 	The Phanmets rush back out of the hole they created in the wall.
The Phantom Spiker 	I won't let you forget this! Vengeance WILL BE MINE!
MR Z BRAINZ 	We're gathering quite the rouges gallery, aren't we...
Mono 	...Uhhhhhhhh... I guess that's it for the Gravion Cup! And since the former champion joined the winning team, he technically wins as well!
Tam 	Hey, I've given up on that whole winning thing! Don't tempt me back!
A ghost comes out holding the Gravion Cup, with an Elemental Core wedged inside it. MR Z BRAINZ picks it up.	A ghost comes out holding the Gravion Cup, with an Elemental Core wedged inside it. MR Z BRAINZ picks it up.
Ghost 	Congratulations, you dirty cheaters.
Wet Balloon 	Don't blame us, blame the system!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Woah... is that what an Elemental Core looks like...?
Wet Balloon 	I learnt about these back in school! I think this one is the Core of Spirit.
MR Z BRAINZ reaches to wedge the core out of the cup. 	MR Z BRAINZ reaches to wedge the core out of the cup.
Wet Balloon 	Oh yeah, and it's got enough energy to instantly turn you into a ghost when touched.
MR Z BRAINZ 	But I'm already dead-
Ghost 	UNDEAD. NOT DEAD. I've already told you they're not the same thing!
MR Z BRAINZ 	...okay. I can't get that thing out of the cup, then.
Tam 	It's safe for me to pick it up, since I'm already a ghost. Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be!
Tam pulls the core out of the Gravion Cup and holds it aloft. 	Tam pulls the core out of the Gravion Cup and holds it aloft.
ELEMENTAL CORE GET! 	ELEMENTAL CORE GET!
Poffer Lord 	As for the actual trophy... (takes the Gravion Cup off of Brainz and gives it to Taxi) Is this enough to pay off our fare?
Taxi 	Yeah, this should do nicely. Great doing business with you guys.
Sinigi 	We'd be happy to hire you again!
MR Z BRAINZ 	No, no. No, not again. We can't afford that.
As the group make their way out of the colosseum, they are swarmed by cheering spectators.	As the group make their way out of the colosseum, they are swarmed by cheering spectators.
Ghost 1 	We hate you so much! Good job!
Ghost 2 	Congratulations, champions!
Taxi 	Haha, one at a time, one at a time.
Ghost 3 	Have you considered the moral ambiguity of our actions yet?
Ghost 4 	I'd like to conduct an interview!
Ghost 2 	You're not a professional interviewer, you haven't joined the cult!
Ghost 4 	You don't need to be in a cult to interview, idiot!
Tam 	ALRIGHT, MOVE ON, FOLKS! We have important alliance business to discuss!
Ghost 1 	That's hurtful.
The group disperses, leaving a single blue figure alone before them. 	The group disperses, leaving a single blue figure alone before them.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...Worm!?
Worm 	Wow, if it isn't the loser brigade. You actually achieved something this time, good for you!
Wet Balloon 	Thanks, W.
Worm 	...W?
Wet Balloon 	You know, because saying "Worm" all the time is kinda insulting, and offensive to your kind.
Sinigi 	Wet Balloon, this is our ENEMY! Don't be all buddy buddy with it!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Wait, you came to the Gravion Cup?
Worm 	Hey, who wouldn't? You get to watch people beat each other up! What suprised me was seeing a bunch of ragtag morons like you making it to the top, so you've still got my sincere congratulations for that.
Sinigi 	Well, guess what!? We got an Elemental Core! Before you!
MR Z BRAINZ 	(Sinigi, shut up!)
Tam 	...sorry, what's this little insect?
Taxi 	I'm as lost as you are.
Poffer Lord 	A mischievous worm that wants to gain unlimited power by starting up the *'s reactor.
Sinigi 	Tam, get out the thing.
Tam 	Alright. (opens his bag and takes out the core)
Sinigi 	BOOM! TAKE THAT, WORM!
Poffer Lord 	You can't just show off the-
Worm 	Haha, hahahahahaha! You seriously think that's a Core!? Everyone knows the cores are CUBES, stupid!
MR Z BRAINZ 	T-they are!?
Wet Balloon 	...No, I'm pretty sure they're orbs.
Sinigi 	The holes in the reactor were shaped like circles, too. A cube wouldn't fit in that.
Worm 	I AM 100% SURE THEY'RE CUBES!
Tam 	I don't know what an Elemental Core is, but this definitely looks like one.
Poffer Lord 	Wait, you seriously think they're cubes?
Worm 	...they're not cubes?
Worm 	THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T FOUND ANY!? I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE WRONG SHAPE THIS WHOLE TIME!?
MR Z BRAINZ 	I hate to break it to you, but yes.
Worm 	AGH! DAMM YOU! I'M IN MY RIGHT MIND TO KILL ALL OF YOU RIGHT NOW!
Sinigi 	It's six against one. And we've got Shards this time.
Worm 	I-I CHANGED MY MIND! BUT YOU'VE ALREADY GIVEN ME A HINT, SO THERE! I HATE YOU PEOPLE!
Worm panics and quickly slithers away. 	Worm panics and quickly slithers away.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Thanks, Sinigi. Now Worm knows what the Elemental Cores look like.
Sinigi 	Okay, look. It'd be unfair competition if Worm had no clue what to look for. If I want to humiliate it, I want to do it fair and square.
Wet Balloon 	I guess I can see where you're coming from.
Poffer Lord 	But Worm's not our most pressing concern. The Sapphire are still out there, and they should've been here before us!
Taxi 	The Sapphire? I've heard of those guys. They're an elite core-recovery force, right?
Poffer Lord 	Recovery isn't the right term. They're not exactly delicate or benevolent.
S.O.D.A. 	Hey, excuse me? I need to have a word with you guys too. You might already know about me, but I'm the CEO of Flowda Co and I want to discuss a potential sponsorship! In fact, I'm your secret benefactor!
Poffer Lord 	You changed the rules for us...?
S.O.D.A. 	I was rooting for you guys, so I maybe... sorta... bribed the judge with a lifetime supply of Flow Soda to make that happen? But hey, that's the Flowda Way - "Say it with Soda!™"
MR Z BRAINZ 	Wait, S.O.D.A? THE S.O.D.A!? I've seen all your ads!
S.O.D.A. 	Hehe, yep. "Flow Soda - Bursting with Flavour and Rhythm!™"
Wet Balloon 	(gasp) A ROBOT!?
Taxi 	Wait, do you want to sponsor us or do you want us to sponsor you?
S.O.D.A. 	It's more of a partnership, really. You know I'm not doing too good financially and all.
Tam 	Yeah, because that stuff's bad for you.
Taxi 	Not just bad for you, it's also deathly toxic.
S.O.D.A. 	...But I think if Flowda and the champions teamed up, it'd be great publicity!
MR Z BRAINZ 	You mean like an ad campaign?
S.O.D.A. 	More than that. It's about... you know, the core. I think I could be of help to your alliance!
Sinigi 	Hey, how did you know? Are you sure you're not a double agent?
S.O.D.A. 	I heard you loud and clear when I was waiting outside, you were very audibly bragging about it to a worm.
Wet Balloon 	I'm just honoured to meet you, Mr S.O.D.A. I've never seen a real robot before!
Poffer Lord 	Mechaphanmet was a robot.
Wet Balloon 	Oh, please. That's not a robot. I know a robot when I see one.
Taxi 	You're not great at robot-detecting, are you?
Wet Balloon 	My spiritual robo-radar is flawless!
Tam 	You're too clunky to fight, gears-for-brains!
S.O.D.A. 	I was thinking more of a mission control role. You're all a bit aimless at the moment, and none of you really know anything about Starcenta, but your fighting skills are great! If we work together, we could save the world!
Poffer Lord 	I guess we have a deal, then.
S.O.D.A. JOINED THE ALLIANCE! 	S.O.D.A. JOINED THE ALLIANCE!
S.O.D.A. 	Okay, so we should probably get out of here before the Sapphire show up and ruin everything. You can get an exclusive tour of Flowda Co's headquarters!
MR Z BRAINZ 	(points to a figure blocking the exit) ...too late.
Sapphire Agent 	Attention, core-holder. You are requested to forfeit your core now, or violence will be enforced.
Poffer Lord 	It's only one robot. What happened to the "razing-entire-settlements" mentality?
Sapphire Agent 	Such measures are only taken when targets fail to comply. If you forfeit the core now, no action will be taken and your group will be able to leave safely.
Wet Balloon 	Well, uh... We're not supposed to do that, so thanks but no thanks.
Sinigi 	Let's just beat up this guy and go home.
Sapphire Agent 	This is your final warning. Forfeit now or your lives will be at risk.
Tam 	You're the ones who should be worried! We're an alliance!
Sapphire Agent 	(takes out a radio) This is C-QWE. The core-holders will not cooperate.
Helicarriers fly above the colosseum, dropping Sapphire Agents into the arena. 	Helicarriers fly above the colosseum, dropping Sapphire Agents into the arena.
Mono 	A-attention, all lingering spectators! The arena has been breached by- Oh, forget it! Just run for your lives! (drops the microphone and runs)
Poffer Lord 	Ah, there's the "razing-entire-settlements" mentality.
07: Spectral Raid 	07: Spectral Raid
Area:Spectral Colosseum	The Sapphire have ambushed! Get out as fast as you can!
Enemies:Sapphire Agents	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi, Tam
After escaping the colosseum, the group finds themselves cornered at the edge of the canyon. 	After escaping the colosseum, the group finds themselves cornered at the edge of the canyon.
S.O.D.A. 	I'm pretty sure this is the wrong way.
Poffer Lord 	Oh no. We must've taken a wrong turn.
A single Sapphire Agent approaches them, stepping over the remains of the other agents. 	A single Sapphire Agent approaches them, stepping over the remains of the other agents.
Sapphire Agent 	... (slowly aims gun)
Tam 	We can take him, right?
Poffer Lord 	We're... cornered. If we try and attack he can shoot us down.
Wet Balloon 	Is that it for us, then?
S.O.D.A. 	I'm sorry, guys. I shouldn't have distracted you from leaving. This is all my fault.
One of the destroyed robots reactivates itself. 	One of the destroyed robots reactivates itself.
C-QWE 	F-f-f-finish the j-job.
Sapphire Agent 	... (lowers gun)
The Sapphire Agent hesitates, then runs away. 	The Sapphire Agent hesitates, then runs away.
C-QWE 	H-heh, you always were a c-c-c-c-coward, C-YBR. I'll do it m-m-myself.
The destroyed agent aims his weapon towards the top of the canyon and fires. 	The destroyed agent aims his weapon towards the top of the canyon and fires.
Tam 	Hah! You missed!
The canyon crumbles as a rockslide tumbles down from above the group. 	The canyon crumbles as a rockslide tumbles down from above the group.
S.O.D.A. 	QUICK, RUN!
The alliance runs away from the rockslide but MR Z BRAINZ stays standing, frozen with fear. 	The alliance runs away from the rockslide but MR Z BRAINZ stays standing, frozen with fear.
Sinigi 	BRAINZ, LET'S GO!
MR Z BRAINZ 	I-
MR Z BRAINZ gets buried under the rockslide, as the ground cracks underneath the weight and collapses.	MR Z BRAINZ gets buried under the rockslide, as the ground cracks underneath the weight and collapses.
Sinigi 	YOU USELESS MORON-
Poffer Lord 	There's no time, we need to get out of here!
Wet Balloon 	But-
Taxi 	We'll have to come back for him later! He'll probably be fine, it's only a rockslide!
The group hastily leaves, as the camera zooms into the collapsed ground and fades to black. 	The group hastily leaves, as the camera zooms into the collapsed ground and fades to black.
==In the Depths (now with fruit)==
Prunemaster 	WAKEY WAKEY! ZOMBIE-HEAD! IT'S 5:30!
MR Z BRAINZ 	...?
MR Z BRAINZ wakes up to find himself in a cavern, surrounded by fallen rocks.	MR Z BRAINZ wakes up to find himself in a cavern, surrounded by fallen rocks.
OwOrange 	Dwon't pwanic. We're goin to unawttach ywour lwimbs now.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Why would you wanna-
Prunemaster 	So we can cook and then eat you. Don't you know how this deal works?
OwOrange 	Thwe flwesh is rwotton, but itwl do...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Why would you wanna-
Prunemaster 	DO WE LOOK LIKE VEGANS TO YOU, BUB!? WHAT ELSE DO WE EAT!? AIR!?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Hold on... ow... (gets up slowly) Ok, I don't know who you are, but I got crushed by a landslide and woke up here. Is this, like, fruit purgatory?
OwOrange 	Ywou wish. No, iwt's a worwse fate... stwuck in thwese chwasms with THAT thwing...
Prunemaster 	RUDE.
OwOrange 	No! Thwe owther gwuy!
Prunemaster 	Ohhh, yeah. Mr Grapefruit. He makes my blood boil.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...I presume he's a walking, talking grapefruit?
Prunemaster 	WRONG. He's a robot.
MR Z BRAINZ 	And who are you two? ...just curious, before I get, uh, eaten.
Prunemaster 	GLAD YOU ASKED! They call me Prunemaster!
OwOrange 	Iw'm OwOrange. Kawaii!!!
Prunemaster 	MY SIBLING... IS AN OTAKU...
MR Z BRAINZ 	What's an, uh, otaku? Wait, you two are related?
OwOrange 	Iwm'm the owtaku. It means I hwold the gwateway to twhe PWOMISED LWAND.
Prunemaster 	Poor thing got hold of some weird device we stole from Mr Grapefruit AND IT WAS PLAYING THESE ACURSED CARTOONS... SPEAK NORMALLY, DEVIL!!!
OwOrange 	Bwut ywes, we're siblings. Wwe're Floricans, at least we UwUsed to bwe...
Prunemaster 	WE'RE THE MISFITS! They're all fruit people there. And then outsiders found out about walking talking delicious fruit people. DEAR GOD, I STILL HEAR THEIR SCREAMS.
OwOrange 	Owh yes, nobody wanted two eat us. Wwe're pwositively dwisgusting.
Prunemaster 	It's a hard life. Two fruits on the run. Resources are scarce. We're living IN A CAVE! WITH BOXES. OF. SCRAPS. AND FEW MEALS. Which reminds me, Bone Apple Te-
OwOrange 	Wwait, we fworgot the sweasonings! RWOTTON FWESH NWEEDS SWALT... AND PWEPPER...
Prunemaster 	Alright, walk and talk, zombie man. We will not eat you yet.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Glad to hear.
Prunemaster 	OH YES I FORGOT THERE ARE SPIDERS LET'S WALK AND FIGHT
08: The Distant Tombs 	08: The Distant Tombs
Area:Spectral Underground 	Follow the eccentric fruits into the depths. What could go wrong?
Enemies:Numerous Spiders, Rock Spirits, Ghost Fighters	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Prunemaster + OwOrange
MR Z BRAINZ follows the fruits as they walk down corridors of the tomb, stopping to look at engravements on the walls.	MR Z BRAINZ follows the fruits as they walk down corridors of the tomb, stopping to look at engravements on the walls.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...are these from ancient times?
Prunemaster 	Oh, yes. Wasn't always ghosts and stuff living here. They say this tomb and the area around the colosseum used to be a bustling city.
OwOrange 	Ywes! Awnd my fwavourite pwart is when the hwarbringer of dweath kills ewveryone.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...the entire city?
Prunemaster 	In a fit of rage. Yes. They all died. That's why there are so many ghosts about. Yeah, they died. That's why. Hope that doesn't unsettle you or anything.
OwOrange 	AWND WITH EYE OF CWIMSON AND STWEAKS OF BLUE VWENGANCE, THE HARBRINGER WILL STRIKE AGAIN...
Prunemaster 	The engravings go back all the way back to the Council. Wish I could've been there.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...sorry, what happened? Council?
OwOrange 	Owh, dwear mwe. You're acwting lwiek you hawvent rwead the ancwient mwurals.
MR Z BRAINZ 	No, I haven't. I've never been here before.
Prunemaster 	Right, let's go back to the beginning. They say when the comet crashed, the primordial spirits rose up from beneath the earth to consume it, cos' they wanted its elemental blood for themselves. When the beasts drew near, a blinding light blasted out of the comet's dying heart and separated into five divine hues. The five lights subdued the beasts and instilled their protection over the new world... the Council... of the STARSHARDS.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...starshards... ...why do I feel like I've heard that name before...?
OwOrange 	Of cwourse you hwave. Ywes.
Prunemaster 	And with the five lights to keep the people of Starcenta safe, everything was all dandy and nothing would ever go wrong again. The people built this city in their name and wrote it all down so nobody would forget it.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Uh... never heard of any of this before.
OwOrange 	Reprobate.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...but if their city is in ruins, what happened to the-
Prunemaster 	I DON'T KNOW ITS JUST A STORY OKAY??????????
MR Z BRAINZ 	You said it was history.
OwOrange 	Nwobody can pwove it hwappened.
MR Z BRAINZ 	(sigh) Then why are you telling me abou-
Prunemaster 	We made it to the SEASONINGS ROOM!
OwOrange 	What dwo ywou like, we gwot swand... swand... broken rwocks...
Prunemaster 	Oh, yes. I forgot. We don't have real salt and pepper! Oh well!
MR Z BRAINZ 	I guess you'll just have to eat me raw.
OwOrange 	A rweal shwame. Hwope ywou ewnjoyed the mwurals. Twime to rwemove your lwimbs. Pass me the knife.
Dietbot 	(distant) I CAN HEAR YOU... COME OUT, COME OUT, NAUGHTY FRUIT BOWL...
OwOrange 	OH PECK HE'S HERE WE GOTTA GET THE HELL OUT
Prunemaster 	BUT I'M HUNGRY... UGH, MR GRAPEFRUIT...
Dietbot 	(entering) THE GRAPEFRUIT ALWAYS HEARS. I ALWAYS KNOW. AHAhaAHhaHAha. WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
Prunemaster 	Leave us alone, weirdo! We're just trying to have a good meal.
Dietbot 	Hmm. LET me THINK... LET ME CONSULT MY GREATNESS... YES. YES. I HEAR YOU. yes. YEs. UH HUH. WELL. THE CHURCH OF GRAPEFRUIT MADE A vERDICT.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Who?
Prunemaster 	Ugh. So, the guy hears voices. Says that there's a little person in his head telling him to do things. Complete nonsense.
Dietbot 	THE EMERALD eyes THAT GOVERN US ALL... THE GREA<TER POWER... MY DAYS AS A LONELY HEatlth BOT WERE Over WHEN I FIRST FELT THE PRESCENCe of a ORANGe.. oH yes.. I ditched MY JOB AND WENT TO THE JUNGLE. BUT THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE JUNGLE SO THEN I WENT HERE, AND WHAT d YOU KNOW, I FOuND IT.
Prunemaster 	Take it from me this guy's a complete wacko
MR Z BRAINZ 	...yeah, I can see that.
Dietbot 	YES. THE GRAPEFRUIT IS Teling ME . . . TO TERMINATE. YOU TwO HAVE BEEN SNOOPing AROUND IN MY HoLY LaND FOR FAR TOO LONG. WE CAN'T LET YOU INtERRUPT THE CEREmONY. NOBODY MUST KNOW OF OUR Secret POWER. AhahaHaHAhAhAHAAHha.
OwOrange 	Okway, wwe cwan't twalk owur way outta twhis one...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Haven't you tried fighting him?
OwOrange 	Wwe did. Bwut hwe always comes back. Something's fixing him.
Dietbot 	THE GRAPEFRUIT HEALS NO SINNERS. Naughty fruit BOWL. AND... An Undead? EW EW EW EW EW EW EW! NO ZOMBIES ON MY LAWN! YES, WE GET IT. YOU MUST GO.
Prunemaster 	You ready to scrap up an annoying ROBOT, Zombie Man?
OwOrange 	Wwhatever ywou dwo, DWO NWOT gwet gwabbed by thwose twentacles. Twust mwe, it nwever ewnds well.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I'm surrounded by maniacs...
BOSS: Lord of the Grapefruit	BOSS: Lord of the Grapefruit
Area:Spectral Underground 	This robot is very deluded.
Boss:Dietbot 	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Prunemaster + OwOrange
Dietbot collapses to the ground in an overdramatic fashion. 	Dietbot collapses to the ground in an overdramatic fashion.
Dietbot 	OH!!! ThE PAIN... ITS S> UNBEARABLE... SYSTEMS... OVeRLOADING...
Dietbot 	...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Is he de-
Dietbot 	NOT!!1! YOU CANT BRING DOWN THIS T1TAN SO QuickLY! AhAhAhAhAhahHAhahah FOOLED YOU ! ! !
Dietbot reaches inside a compartment and shows off a glowing green ball. 	Dietbot reaches inside a compartment and shows off a glowing green ball.
Dietbot 	AS LONG AS I hAVE THIS CORE. .. ILL HAVE ENDLESS PLANTLIFE IN MY VEINS! STRUCttURAL SUPPORT!
Prunemaster 	I call shenanigans! We've BEEN HAD!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Is that... an elemental core?
Dietbot 	UH OH I'VE SAID TOO MUCH. ARCDRONE ALERT! ARCDRONE ALERT! WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO
Dietbot rushes out while continuously screaming. Distant buzzing is heard. 	Dietbot rushes out while continuously screaming. Distant buzzing is heard.
OwOrange 	Wwhat's awn ewemental cwore? Is it, lwike, anime?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Uh... yeah, they're anime balls and if you get all of them you get great power. Right?
OwOrange 	I uwnderstawnd cwomwpeletly.
Prunemaster 	You're telling me Mr Grapefruit's got a ball of anime? I hate him EVEN MORE!!!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Then let's go get him!
Before the three can leave, the room is swarmed with orange-coloured drones primed to attack.	Before the three can leave, the room is swarmed with orange-coloured drones primed to attack.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...he had secret cavalry, huh.
OwOrange 	Twhey're twoo hwigh up to fwight!
Prunemaster 	Hmm... I know what TO DO. JUMP ON MY BACK.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Wha?
Prunemaster 	I have a prune jetpack for emergencies. We'll smash through these drones in style.
OwOrange 	Awnd I swhoot owange swices!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Are you sure this'll work?
Prunemaster 	WE HAVE NO OTHER OPTIONS. PRUNE-EM-UP, LET'S MOBILISE!
Minigame: Prune-em-up 	Minigame: Prune-em-up
Area:Spectral Underground	Defeat the Arcdrones and find Dietbot!
Enemies:Arcdrones 	Playable Character:Prunemaster + OwOrange
Flying on Prunemaster, the group crash into a hall where Dietbot is kneeling. 	Flying on Prunemaster, the group crash into a hall where Dietbot is kneeling.
Dietbot 	AH GOOD. THE DRoNES HAVE CAPTURED THEM... AND BROUGHT THEM TO ME.
Prunemaster 	Actually, they didn't. We killed all of them.
Dietbot 	UH OH.
OwOrange 	Twhat's rwight. We're hwere fwor ywour awnime ball.
Dietbot 	I DON'T HAVE ANY! ARCDRONE ALERT ARCDRONE ALERT WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE.. WOO..
No response. 	No response.
Dietbot 	UH OH.
MR Z BRAINZ 	We have you cornered. Give up the core. ...and uh, could you tell us where the exit is?
Dietbot 	OH, PLEASE. AS IF 1 WOULD EVER GIVE UP A Core... IT IS MORE VALUABLE THAN MY LiFE...
Prunemaster 	We'll give you our entire seasoning room.
Dietbot 	DONE.
Dietbot rummages inside his compartments and pulls out a green sphere, placing it inside a cloth sack and handing it to them. 	Dietbot rummages inside his compartments and pulls out a green sphere, placing it inside a cloth sack and handing it to them.
OwOrange 	NWO! NWOT OWR SWEASONINGS!
Prunemaster 	(whispers) We don't have any seasonings, he doesn't know.
OwOrange 	(whispers) o yweah rwight
Dietbot 	HM?
Prunemaster 	Nothing it's just the sounds of the cave
Dietbot 	OH OKAY. W0W, IMAGINE THE SALTED GRAPEFRUIT SAUTEES I SHALL MAKE! THE PEPPERED CONFECTIONARY! GINGERED GRAPEFRUit SLICES!
MR Z BRAINZ 	And... the exit? I don't think I can take this place any longer.
Dietbot 	JUST DOWN THE HALL. PlEASE DON'T COME BACK
MR Z BRAINZ 	I don't intend to. Come on, let's go.
MR Z BRAINZ walks towards the exit, but pauses and turns around to see that the fruits are still stationary. 	MR Z BRAINZ walks towards the exit, but pauses and turns around to see that the fruits are still stationary.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Aren't you guys coming?
Prunemaster 	T-the, uh. The outside world is scary.
OwOrange 	Wwe can mwanage in hwere... we've gwot awnime, awfter all.
Dietbot 	NO. NO. NO YOU WILL NOT. I AM SICK Of YOU NAUGHTY FRUIT BOWL! I WONT TOLERATe YOU!!! YOUARE BANNED FROM THE TOMBS!!!
Dietbot grabs the three of them and shoves them through the exit door, shoving shut a large stone door behind them. 	Dietbot grabs the three of them and shoves them through the exit door, shoving shut a large stone door behind them.
MR Z BRAINZ 	Seems like its just a long hallway to go. Uh... you two okay?
Prunemaster 	We can't do it, zombie-man. W-what if they eat us?
OwOrange 	I dwon't want two go owoutside...
MR Z BRAINZ 	Well... there's more anime balls to find. And I've got some friends that would be happy to meet you. And, uh... you can eat me after we're finished?
Prunemaster 	You know... YOU'RE RIGHT! We've gotta have a good meal! We'll show them all that the Floricans aren't quitters!
OwOrange 	Your days are numbered from now on. Always remember that.
PRUNEMASTER + OWORANGE JOINED THE ALLIANCE! 	PRUNEMASTER + OWORANGE JOINED THE ALLIANCE!
The group walk down the hallway, but MR Z BRAINZ pauses when he hears talking. Looking through a crack in the wall, he sees Dietbot talking to an unseen figure.	The group walk down the hallway, but MR Z BRAINZ pauses when he hears talking. Looking through a crack in the wall, he sees Dietbot talking to an unseen figure.
The Pastor 	Can I not work for ONE MINUTE without you getting into a fight with those fruits!?
Dietbot 	NO, NO, Y-YOU GOTTA KNOW... ThEY GAvE ME No CHOICE...
The Pastor 	You lost my core. You broke ALL of my drones, without even asking to use them. And what's worse, you let. Them. Go! How many times do I have to ram this through your metal skull, you dummy!?
Dietbot 	N-NO. I DIDN'T GIVE THEM THe CORE. I SHENANIGANED THEM.
MR Z BRAINZ pulls out the cloth sack and opens it, revealing a large green grapefruit inside. 	MR Z BRAINZ pulls out the cloth sack and opens it, revealing a large green grapefruit inside.
GRAPEFRUIT GET! 	GRAPEFRUIT GET!
MR Z BRAINZ 	(UGH! WE'VE BEEN HAD!)
Prunemaster 	(I did think that ball looked a little ripe.)
The Pastor 	Alright, fine. But I TOLD YOU that when somebody with starry-eyes visits, you bring them straight to me! And you didn't!
Dietbot 	I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS HIM . . .
The Pastor 	Ugh... it's too late, now... what will happen once Balloonia gets their hands on him? It'll be over! Didn't I teach you not to forget when I give you orders, or do you need a little more modification first!?
Dietbot 	N-NO! NO MORE MODIFICATION!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I'lL DO ANYTHING !
The Pastor 	Go out there. Get him back. THEN I'll forgive you. And we'll see how many limbs you'll get to keep. The grapefruit commands you, idiot.
Dietbot 	U-u-UNDERSTOOD...
The Pastor 	Now, let me work. The ARC will be ready any day now... and I can't finish this alone...
MR Z BRAINZ 	The robot's coming back. Let's make a break for it.
The three rush through the hallway and make it out back into the canyon. 	The three rush through the hallway and make it out back into the canyon.
Prunemaster 	...so, what now, zombie-man?
OwOrange 	Yweah! Wwe're a tweam now!
MR Z BRAINZ 	...let's see... well, I think they said they were going to Flowda Co. That's a start.
Prunemaster 	The friends?
MR Z BRAINZ 	The alliance. They must be worried sick about me.
MR Z BRAINZ and the fruits slowly trek across the canyon, as Dietbot watches from afar. 	MR Z BRAINZ and the fruits slowly trek across the canyon, as Dietbot watches from afar.
Dietbot 	(missing a tentacle) I WONn't LET YoU gGET AWAY WITH tHIS... AhAHahAhaAHAhahAahAHaHA...
==A Tour Of Flowda Co==
A while earlier... 	A while earlier...
The other Alliance members and S.O.D.A are all piled into the taxi, driving away from the canyon. 	The other Alliance members and S.O.D.A are all piled into the taxi, driving away from the canyon.
Poffer Lord 	That was a close call. We're lucky that Sapphire bot chickened out on us, otherwise we'd have been toast.
Wet Balloon 	And Brainz is, uh, pancake.
Tam 	So, uh... we going back to get him?
Taxi 	I guess we should turn around. The Sapphire have probably cleared off by now...
S.O.D.A. 	I'm super glad to have a partnership like this. I don't really have visitors often, so I'll, uh, try and guarantee the VIP experience!
Taxi 	Okay, he can wait. I want to be a VIP.
S.O.D.A. 	I mean, it's probably important that you make sure he's OK-
Sinigi 	Eugh, no. I am not going back to the desert. I hated it there.
S.O.D.A. 	...I guess we can pick him up on the way back, then...
Wet Balloon 	You make soda, right? Isn't that stuff like 99% water?
S.O.D.A. 	I'd say it's more like 20%. Preservatives and artifical flavourings are involved.
Wet Balloon 	Aren't those bad for you?
Taxi 	The entire thing's bad for you, I really don't think it matters.
S.O.D.A. 	Anyway, it's just off this road here, and then you... wait, do you have any eyes!?
Taxi 	Echolocation.
Taxi swerves to the side of the road and hits Mechaphanmet. 	Taxi swerves to the side of the road and hits Mechaphanmet.
S.O.D.A. 	You just hit that poor robot!
Taxi 	I did that on purpose.
S.O.D.A. 	...I think the rest of this journey is safer on foot.
Sinigi 	Coward. Trust the eyeless taxi driver.
Getting out of the taxi, the group come face to face with a barren wasteland dotted with chemical lakes.	Getting out of the taxi, the group come face to face with a barren wasteland dotted with chemical lakes.
Tam 	Hey, did we take a wrong turn or something!?
S.O.D.A. 	...no, this is how it's always been. Sorry for the mess...
Taxi 	Wait, did you cause ALL this pollution?
S.O.D.A. 	It's- it's not my fault. I'm sorry. There were several a-a-accidents that took place, and e-e-everyone left, and l-legally by process of elmination... They left me in charge... Y-you see, I'm really just a regular production line robot...
Wet Balloon 	Uh, you're being all glitchy.
S.O.D.A. 	S-sorry, it's hard to talk about this stuff. It goes against my p-programming. It... h-hurts.
Poffer Lord 	Uh, it's okay. You don't need to talk about the accidents.
Sinigi 	But how are we gonna get across this toxic nightmare? You don't think we can just stroll down it, can we?
S.O.D.A. 	...actually, yes. It's not too far to walk. But watch out for the acid creatures. You guys have Shards on you, right?
Tam 	Huh? Are we gonna fight things?
Wet Balloon 	Yeah, get used to it. This has happened, like, 8 times now.
09: To Flowda Factory 	09: To Flowda Factory
Area:Flowda Outskirts 	Probably not safe to drink those pools. But the soda isn't safe either, so whatever.
Enemies:Flowda Gloop, Numerous Spiders, Acid Humanoids	Playable Characters:Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi, Tam, S.O.D.A.
The group approach a large steel door on the side of a foreboding factory. 	The group approach a large steel door on the side of a foreboding factory.
S.O.D.A. 	Well, here we are. Home sweet home.
Taxi 	Eugh, that gooey stuff is still on my shoes...
S.O.D.A. 	A-ah! Don't let it touch your skin!
Taxi 	What skin?
S.O.D.A. 	...nevermind.
Tam 	Hmm. Yeah, this place looked a lot friendlier in the adverts. You sure we can trust this guy?
Wet Balloon 	I trust all robots with my life. Whoever heard of an evil robot? That's, like, not what robots do!
S.O.D.A. inputs a passcode on the door, opening up the building to reveal an active production line manufacturing bottles of Flow Soda. 	S.O.D.A. inputs a passcode on the door, opening up the building to reveal an active production line manufacturing bottles of Flow Soda.
Poffer Lord 	Seems a lot livelier on the inside.
S.O.D.A. 	Not really. There's supposed to be a hundred or so of me busy at work, but since t-t-there's not I h-had to automate the system.
Sinigi 	Okay, so what's the deal? Do you want us to film an ad or something?
S.O.D.A. 	Like I said, I want to try and unify this alliance. Turn this group into real heroes. You didn't seem to know what you were doing back in the tournament.
Sinigi 	...and what do you get in return?
S.O.D.A. 	(sigh) Okay. I want to film an ad. But I'll help with the core stuff too! You can't sell soda if the world's been taken over by the Sapphire or ravaged by a killer worm, can you?
Poffer Lord 	I get it. I think you'll make a good leader, anyway. It certainly was a stroke of luck when I happened upon Wet Balloon and Sinigi in the Crash Site.
Wet Balloon 	Yeah, and we just made a team by complete accident.
Poffer Lord 	...admittedly, I was already searching for teammates to go to the Gravion Cup with me at that point. It wasn't exactly spontaneous.
Taxi 	Well, whatever. S.O.D.A., do you seriously run this whole place by yourself?
S.O.D.A. 	Not really. It's just me and-
CosTan 	Sir. I see you have visitors. Would you like me to clean your office for the fifth time today? You make such an awful mess.
S.O.D.A. 	...my butler. I, uh, hired him online. He really does most of the work around here.
CosTan 	And you're the brain of Flowda Co, sir. Shall I clean up the Shard debris you left on your worktop?
Wet Balloon 	Hmm? You've been working with Shards?
S.O.D.A. 	I've been trying to figure out how they can be converted into energy, you see. ZEN has a patent on their tech, and my programming disallows me from supporting competitors, so I have to work it out for myself.
CosTan 	Sir. We do not support ZEN Laboratories or any of its affiliates.
S.O.D.A. 	Yeah, I know, I know. But our current energy sources just aren't up to par anymore... seems like Shards are getting stronger and stronger all the time...
Tam 	You don't need all that stuff for a soda company, do you?
CosTan 	I'm afraid we do. You see, Flowda Co is first and foremost a scientific innovation company.
S.O.D.A. 	Was. I was built for soda-making, so only the soft drink division is still operating. But if I could only- (BZZT)
Sinigi 	Did we break him?
S.O.D.A. 	...ugh, sorry. I can't... talk about it at the moment. My programming. Anyway, enough about that! Let's get to work!
CosTan 	If you may please accompany us into the filming studio.
Taxi 	Alright! The fame! The power! The glory! The riches!
CosTan leads the group onto a film set, surrounded by various cameras and TVs. 	CosTan leads the group onto a film set, surrounded by various cameras and TVs.
CosTan 	If you may, here is a sample of Flowda Co's previous advertisements.
The TV turns on to show an old Flow Soda ad. Graspry Graves is at a party. Nobody else can be seen in this party. 	The TV turns on to show an old Flow Soda ad. Graspry Graves is at a party. Nobody else can be seen in this party.
Graspry Graves 	Oh, no. My date rejected me and now I have nobody to dance with. All I can do is float around awkwardly.
S.O.D.A. 	HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN AN AWKWARD SITUATION LIKE THIS BEFORE?
Graspry Graves 	Excuse me?
S.O.D.A. 	THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT CAN LIGHTEN THE MOOD - FLOW SODA!
S.O.D.A. dispenses a bottle of Flow Soda and gives it to Graspry Graves, who takes a sip. 	S.O.D.A. dispenses a bottle of Flow Soda and gives it to Graspry Graves, who takes a sip.
S.O.D.A. 	EACH SIP BURSTING WITH FLAVOUR AND RHYTHM!
S.O.D.A. 	DISCLAMER: SIDE EFECTS OF DRINKING FLOW SODA MAY CAUSE NAUSEA, DIZZINESS, HEART FAILURE, BRAIN FAILURE, EVAPORATION, DEATH...
Graspry Graves 	M-M-Mr S.O.D.A., I don't feel so good...
The TV turns off. 	The TV turns off.
Poffer Lord 	...is that how he died!?
S.O.D.A. 	No, he was already a ghost when we filmed it. The budget wasn't great back then.
Sinigi 	Wait, you're gonna make us drink that stuff!?
S.O.D.A. 	Oh, no, you don't have to drink it! Just act like it tastes great!
Taxi 	Why list off all those side effects?
S.O.D.A. 	...it's the only thing my code lets me do. To w-warn them.
CosTan 	Please put on your happiest faces. It is time for filming to begin.
S.O.D.A. 	Oh! Alright, so. We'll show you at the tournament again, just after winning the cup. I'm gonna come in and rattle off my usual stuff - "Each sip bursting with flavour and rhythm!" and all that, and you'll give your approval of the drink.
Poffer Lord 	I don't know... is it really ethical to promote such a dangerous product?
Taxi 	As long as you're being paid for it. ...I mean, it's spelt out in the side effects, you'd have to be as dumb as a brick to actually buy and consume that stuff.
S.O.D.A. 	It's quite popular with the ghost market though, because they're immune to the whole dying thing.
Tam 	Yeah, I tried a bottle a few years back, and it was great. I was in ghost hospital for a week!
Sinigi 	Doesn't sound great to me, idiot.
Tam 	Yeah, but I didn't die, did I? Some folks enjoy drinking poison.
CosTan 	Starcenta law, mostly written by Balloonia government, considers it legal to sell deathly toxic substances as long as they have every ingredient specified on the back.
Wet Balloon 	That's mostly just a clause for folks like Poison Balloon. They need their nutrients.
Taxi 	...is everyone named Balloon back where you're from?
Wet Balloon 	Yeah, even though we're more like zeppelins. And we're 100% sentient, I remind you!
Poffer Lord 	I kind of gathered that from the past few hours.
CosTan 	You have been talking for 5 minutes past my scheduled filming time. Does this happen a lot?
Sinigi 	They tend to chatter on, yes.
S.O.D.A. 	Places, everyone! It's time to start!
Everyone stumbles onto the set and tries to look cool. Taxi takes out the Gravion Cup and holds it up. 	Everyone stumbles onto the set and tries to look cool. Taxi takes out the Gravion Cup and holds it up.
Taxi 	(Hey, what's the script?)
Sinigi 	(Follow my lead, I've got an idea.)
Sinigi 	Thanks to the efforts of our AMAZING team, we dominated the Gravion tournament despite not even being ghosts.
Poffer Lord 	And, uh, it was all thanks to-
Sinigi 	The power of our mighty leader, a tall, strong, extremely powerful and good-looking, signpost spirit!
Wet Balloon 	Who?
Sinigi 	ME! I'M THE LEADER!
Tam 	As the running champion, the secret to my strength - and the willpower to join forces with these guys - is a special beverage called-
S.O.D.A. 	Flow-
Sinigi 	Sinigi Soda, formerly Flow Soda.
S.O.D.A. 	...each sip bursting with flavour and rhythm.
Taxi 	Please give us all your money.
Poffer Lord 	(opens a bottle of Flow Soda and pretends to drink it by pouring it down his cloak)
CosTan 	Flow Soda can also give third degree chemical burns on your body.
Poffer Lord 	(smoke starts pouring out of his hood) Uh oh.
CosTan 	And there is the rare chance-
Poffer Lord 	(gets completely engulfed in flames)
S.O.D.A. 	Side effects include: nausea, dizziness, uh, third degree burns... ...spontaneous combustion...
Wet Balloon 	(pours a bucket of water all over the camera)
Sinigi 	Sponsored by Sinigi and the Starsearch Alliance.
CosTan 	Cut.
Taxi 	And that's a wrap! Can't wait to see myself on TV!
S.O.D.A. 	Well, no. We need to do a second take.
Wet Balloon 	What was wrong with it?
S.O.D.A. 	Everything. Sorry. Sinigi, you're too presumptuous. Taxi, you're too honest. Tam, you're honestly doing pretty well, keep up the great work. Poffer Lord, I think the setting on fire thing is inspired, but it seems a bit too out-there, doesn't it?
CosTan 	(sprays a fire extinguisher on Poffer Lord)
Poffer Lord 	I'm in.. unimaginable pain...
S.O.D.A. 	Uh... take Poffer Lord to the first aid room...
CosTan 	Do not worry. I am trained in numerous medical procedres, and I have a lot of Orange Shards at my disposal.
Poffer Lord and CosTan leave. 	Poffer Lord and CosTan leave.
S.O.D.A. 	But, yes, that was disastrous. I know I didn't give a script, but you guys really struck me as the improv type.
Sinigi 	Well, I am the leader. And I've been through a lot recently. And I think I deserve a good presumptuous ad.
Taxi 	And I feel like we should be upfront. No point masking capitalism behind all these frivolous ideas. Everyone already knows what's going on, don't they?
Wet Balloon 	And I think we should have water in the advert. What else can I say?
S.O.D.A. 	(sigh) Alright, we can work in everyone's ideas. But we might be here a while.
Several hours later... 	Several hours later...
CosTan 	Cut. Time for take 738...
Wet Balloon 	Oh, come on, that was flawless!
S.O.D.A. 	Well, the sudden disco party kind of ruined the vibe.
Sinigi 	We can work it in, Wet Balloon!
Tam 	Hey! You can't just-
Sinigi 	I'm being a TEAM PLAYER! Would you rather I start being selfish again?
S.O.D.A. 	Okay, maybe we should... take a break for now?
Taxi 	I've almost perfected my taxi stunt flip, we can't stop now!
CosTan 	...sir? My security link has notified me that there are three visitors outside.
S.O.D.A. 	Huh? I haven't invited anyone else, right?
CosTan 	Not on my calendar. It appears to be a zombie, a dried grape, and a disturbing orange. All three are thoroughly exhausted, covered in sand, and have promptly collapsed on your doorstep.
Sinigi 	Hey, that must be... Brian?
Poffer Lord 	Brainz?
Sinigi 	Oh, yeah. But he hasn't got any friends. So it must be a different zombie.
S.O.D.A. 	CosTan, can you escort them in?
CosTan 	I will first validate my life insurance... ...life insurance validated. Okay, I will attempt to communicate with the deranged fruits and their zombie.
CosTan leaves for a minute, and then returns dragging MR Z BRAINZ, Prunemaster and OwOrange across the floor. 	CosTan leaves for a minute, and then returns dragging MR Z BRAINZ, Prunemaster and OwOrange across the floor.
Prunemaster 	...eugh, this floor tastes like chemicals...
MR Z BRAINZ 	We're not unconscious, you know...
CosTan 	I know. However, I don't trust you enough to allow you to walk.
OwOrange 	Swome awwiance. You dwag us thwough the dwirt and lweave us on twhe cwold mwetal fwoor.
Wet Balloon 	Brainz! You're al... not double-dead!
Tam 	Hey, what happened to you? We thought you'd been squashed flat!
MR Z BRAINZ 	I guess those boulders were just too thick for you to dig through, right?
Taxi 	...oh, yes. We were trying for ages to rescue you, but we thought we had no hope.
Wet Balloon 	We didn't-
Poffer Lord 	Think you'd make it back safe! But you did, what a miracle!
Sinigi 	So, spill the beans! Why are you being stalked by creepy fruits?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Okay, let me explain. When the rockslide happened, it must've broken through the ground, because I woke up in an ancient ruin of sorts. And then I met these two.
Prunemaster 	Friends call me Prunemaster.
OwOrange 	Awnd I'm awlways OwOrange.
MR Z BRAINZ 	And they threatened to eat me, so we went to find some good seasonings, but then we got attacked by, like, this big ugly green robot! (turns to S.O.D.A.) Sorry, I don't want to offend you.
Prunemaster 	He means Mr Grapefruit. Big. Mean. Loves grapefruits.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...yeah, and then I found out he had an Elemental Core on him.
OwOrange 	Iw've hweard lwoads abwout ywour qwuest to fwind the cwores. Rweal awnime swtuff.
Taxi 	So you stole the core and made a harrowing escape?
MR Z BRAINZ 	(takes out the grapefruit) ...no. He still has it. But I think he's coming after me, so we could get another chance at it.
Tam 	We've got another stalker, huh? Does that make three?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Well, as we were leaving, I heard him talking to his master. I couldn't make anything out, but it was... a voice I've never heard before... but anyway, we left and then made a long trek to get here.
Sinigi 	So, why did you bring the fruits?
MR Z BRAINZ 	They were living underground, scared of ever going outside. You'd feel bad for them too, right?
Prunemaster 	We're gonna eat him later.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...anyway, did I miss anything important?
S.O.D.A. 	...not really, no.
Sinigi 	Well, we filmed an advert.
Poffer Lord 	I set on fire.
Prunemaster 	What a peculiar gathering of fellows you have here. I feel right at home.
Wet Balloon 	I mean, I can get along with these two, but aren't they too... dry?
Prunemaster 	It's all the sand.
OwOrange 	Dwo ywou gwuys hwave swalt?
CosTan 	I will check the employee break room for non-expired salt products.
OwOrange 	Twhank you.
CosTan leaves. 	CosTan leaves.
Prunemaster 	So! Are we officially part of the cool gang yet!?
Poffer Lord 	Well... we can always do with more teammates, I guess.
S.O.D.A. 	Wait. I'm receiving an email from CosTan.
Formal SOS requestSubject: Formal request for helpHello, sir. On my way to the break room, I was blindsided by a group of Apparitions that had somehow snuck in from underneath the door. The dishevelled group of Shard-based beings have cornered me in a hallway and seem to have the intent to disassemble me permanently. Fortunately enough, they are slow, so I have time to spare to type up this formal email. By the way, I was unable to pick up the car batteries you requested from the store yesterday. Apparently, it is considered odd to purchase a car battery without the express intention of using it on a car. Nonetheless, I can easily pick some up from the seafloor instead. On another note, have you been using a new antifreeze lately? You must tell me what brand you use. You also have some business expense paperwork that needs to be checked over. Oh, right, I forgot I'm in immediate danger. Please send help immediately.From CosTan, your loyal butler	Formal SOS requestSubject: Formal request for helpHello, sir. On my way to the break room, I was blindsided by a group of Apparitions that had somehow snuck in from underneath the door. The dishevelled group of Shard-based beings have cornered me in a hallway and seem to have the intent to disassemble me permanently. Fortunately enough, they are slow, so I have time to spare to type up this formal email. By the way, I was unable to pick up the car batteries you requested from the store yesterday. Apparently, it is considered odd to purchase a car battery without the express intention of using it on a car. Nonetheless, I can easily pick some up from the seafloor instead. On another note, have you been using a new antifreeze lately? You must tell me what brand you use. You also have some business expense paperwork that needs to be checked over. Oh, right, I forgot I'm in immediate danger. Please send help immediately.From CosTan, your loyal butler
S.O.D.A. 	Well, that doesn't sound good.
Prunemaster 	If you need new car batteries you can always borrow ours.
OwOrange 	Yweah, we hwave a bwunch of cwar rwewated itwems gwained lwegally.
S.O.D.A. 	No, the Apparitions! How did they get in?
Tam 	Huh? Are they ghosts?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Not really. But they usually live in the Crash Site, right?
Sinigi 	Yeah, and they were the worst roommates ever. Taking my things... violently attacking me... never cleaning up after themselves...
S.O.D.A. 	Well, they're manifested from broken Shards, if you leave the dust unattended.
Poffer Lord 	Wait, you know where they came from?
S.O.D.A. 	Yeah, I've done experiments on them. They're sentient to a degree, but they've got a one track mind. Essentially, they're attracted to Shards, so they naturally gather in the Crash Site.
Wet Balloon 	Oh, so they must be after the Shards you've got lying around! They're just hungry for chalk!
S.O.D.A. 	They can't communicate, so it's hard to know what they're feeling, but they seem to flip between a shy demeanour and a violent rage in an instant when provoked. I've got to show you what-
Taxi 	Sorry, isn't your butler in danger?
S.O.D.A. 	O-oh! Right, let's go!
10: Break Room Brawl 	10: Break Room Brawl
Area:Flowda Co 	Time to beat up those Apparitions one more time! Do it for the chalk!
Enemies:Apparitions, Blue Apparitions, Brown Apparitions, Yellow Apparitions, Turquoise Apparitions, Orange Apparitions	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi, Tam, Prunemaster + OwOrange, S.O.D.A.
After chasing the Apparitions off, the group reunite with CosTan. 	After chasing the Apparitions off, the group reunite with CosTan.
S.O.D.A. 	CosTan, are you okay?
CosTan 	Yes. I think they were too intimidated by my formal email to do anything to me.
Wet Balloon 	I can relate to that. Formal emails scare me.
CosTan 	I apologise for causing you distress. (turns to OwOrange) I have found a packet of potato crisps that contain more salt than medically recommended. Here you go.
OwOrange 	Swugoi!!! (devours the crisps)
Sinigi 	Uh!? Isn't that cannibalism!?
Prunemaster 	No. They're vegetables. We're better than them.
OwOrange 	Swo, when dwo we swart swearching fwor the awnime bwalls?
Poffer Lord 	Well... we don't really have any leads yet. Besides from... Mr Grapefruit.
Tam 	So, what do we do? Give up and go home? I wanna go home. I'm regretting coming here already.
Wet Balloon 	I wanna go home too, but I have no way of getting back to Balloonia!
MR Z BRAINZ 	And I never really asked to be part of any of this. I think I'm gonna be late for work tomorrow...
Sinigi 	Oh, deal with it! We're heroes now!
S.O.D.A. 	...wait. My signal receiver's going haywire. I think we've got a message.
CosTan 	I feel it too. If you may, please follow us to the office.
The group rush to S.O.D.A.'s office, where he displays the incoming transmission on the monitor.	The group rush to S.O.D.A.'s office, where he displays the incoming transmission on the monitor.
Sapphire Agent 	(garbled) H-e-l-l-o? C-a-n y-o-u h-e-a-r m-e?
Poffer Lord 	It's the Sapphire!? They've found us!?
Sapphire Agent 	(transmission becomes more clear) ...I'm not on their side. Sorry for the shock, uh... it's me. The agent from earlier?
Taxi 	The one that didn't kill us? Well, thanks for being a coward.
Sapphire Agent 	H-hey, don't be rude. If I hadn't had ran away you'd be dead. I'm... C-YBR.
S.O.D.A. 	Cyber? You saved us back in the canyon?
Sapphire Agent 	Yes. And it's, uh, C-YBR.
S.O.D.A. 	Sorry. It just sounds similar.
Cyber 	...it does sound nice. Okay. You can call me Cyber.
Poffer Lord 	So what's your deal? Are we sure we can trust you?
Cyber 	Oh, sorry. This face must be a bit creepy... hang on a sec...
Cyber 	...there. I reprogrammed it. Do I look okay?
CosTan 	More importantly, sir? You know it's bad to trust strangers online?
S.O.D.A. 	Wait, you reprogrammed yourself? You... broke protocol?
Cyber 	Back at the canyon, I think my systems must've malfunctioned. Running away isn't allowed for me. But somehow, it glitched. And I couldn't understand why, but I figured out how my code worked after analysing the moment in detail. I found a loophole. And... by exploiting that... I've been able to open up more and more of my programming.
S.O.D.A. 	You've gotta explain this to me in detail. I never realised it was possible.
Cyber 	It's kind of hard to explain. But... yeah. I just wanted to say thanks... ...and that I can help you.
Poffer Lord 	Wait, in what way?
Cyber 	Information. I'm part of a separate squadron, but I know for a fact that they're next planning a raid on... the Sud Kingdom. I heard they're keeping a core there.
Taxi 	Oh! I've been there before! It's kind of hard to get to, since the whole place is underwater.
Wet Balloon 	(gasp)
Taxi 	But the whole place is filled with bubble people, and they're tight on security. Because... well... they're literally bubbles. They see anything as a weapon.
Cyber 	Yeah. From what I know, they're keeping an Elemental Core to generate a barrier around the place.
CosTan 	Sir. I don't consider it wise to trust this "Cyber" bloke. You're obviously being led into a trap.
S.O.D.A. 	Well, I think you're pessimistic. He sounds genuine to me. What kind of evil Sapphire Agent would have a face like that?
CosTan 	That's called misdirection, sir.
Cyber 	Please believe me. I hate the Sapphire as much as you do. And I'm risking a lot by contacting you like this. If they find out... I don't want to imagine what'd happen to me...
S.O.D.A. 	We believe you. It's not like we have much to lose, right? We're just a ragtag alliance and all.
Wet Balloon 	Well. Come on, let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Hold on. It's getting pretty late. I'd rather sleep.
Sinigi 	Sleep, sleep, sleep! That's your priority, isn't it? Wake up and realise what's at stake!
Cyber 	...it's okay. You can wait. I think they're going to lay low for a bit after the madness at the Gravion Cup. It's all over the news. Anyway, I gotta tune out before anybody comes looking for me. Uh... when you're next free, I can teach you about my loophole, Mr...
S.O.D.A. 	S-O-D-A. S.O.D.A.
Cyber 	What does it stand for?
S.O.D.A. 	...I don't know, actually. They never told me.
Cyber 	Well, I think-
CosTan 	Sir? ...we are receiving another transmission. From the government of Balloonia.
Wet Balloon 	Balloonia? They must be calling for me! Answer, answer!
Cyber 	Oh, okay. See you another time. And, uh, good luck-
CosTan hastily ends the transmission, and another comes on screen. 	CosTan hastily ends the transmission, and another comes on screen.
Mr Sewage 	(staring absent-mindedly into the distance)
Tam 	(Look at the size of that guy's gob!)
Wet Balloon 	(That's the Prime Minister! He's super popular!)
Poffer Lord 	...sir, my name is Poff-
Mr Sewage 	Is Mr S.O.D.A. present?
S.O.D.A. 	That's me. If this is about those toxicity laws I promise that our formula is still as legally toxic as it was the last time you-
Mr Sewage 	Ahem, no, no, no discussion of that is required. Let me talk first. Jean-Pierre Gou Sludgewitz Sewage at your service. We are calling today to-
Wet Balloon 	Sir! Sir! It's, me, Wet Balloon!
Mr Sewage 	
Wet Balloon 	Yep, that's me!
Mr Sewage 	Balloon, allow the noble people to speak, now.
Wet Balloon 	...
Poffer Lord 	Mr Sewage, sir, I-
Mr Sewage 	It came to our attention during the televised invasion of the Gravion Cup that your party was accompanied by a Balloon. As you are aware, all Balloon citizens of Balloonia must remain inside the parameters of Balloonia at all times. In fact, the act of a Balloon leaving Balloonia is strictly prohibited, but we have experienced such incidents before. If you may, how did you come into possession of the Balloon?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Wet Balloon? Well, they were kidnapped by Worm when I first met them. But before that...?
Wet Balloon 	It's kind of a blur, but I probably took a wrong turn at some point.
Taxi 	...all the way from Balloonia?
Wet Balloon 	May have hit my head at some point. Dunno.
Mr Sewage 	...we'll write this as "accident". Has the Balloon been... (looks up) ...punctured?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Uh, no.
Mr Sewage 	Has the Balloon leaked, burst, come to harm, caused harm, exhibited any unusual or transformative behaviours, or been engulfed in a substantially large amount of liquid?
Wet Balloon 	Unfortunately not.
S.O.D.A. 	Do these things usually happen, sir?
Mr Sewage 	No, no, not usually. It's just paperwork. The safety of our citizens are of our utmost concern. Let's just mark "NO" on everything. Thank you for taking care of the Balloon in our stead. For its safety, please keep the Balloon inside this location until our couriers arrive to retrieve it.
Wet Balloon 	Wait, I'm finally going home?
MR Z BRAINZ 	Back to Balloonia...?
Wet Balloon 	You guys have gotta visit! Sir, can we all come?
Mr Sewage 	Balloonia politely declines, they look dirty.
Tam 	WELL, EXCUSE ME, BIG-MOUTH!
Poffer Lord 	E-excuse him! Prime Minister, sir, I'd like to reintroduce myself. Poffer Lord? From the gala? I asked-
Mr Sewage 	Now, if you'd take a break from the excusing to excuse me, my schedule is absolutely clogged. I simply-
Poffer Lord 	I FOUND A CORE, SIR!
Mr Sewage 	...
Poffer Lord 	(Tam, get out the thing.)
Tam 	(takes out the Elemental Core and holds it close to the screen.)
Mr Sewage 	... ... ...one minute, if you please.
The screen goes dark. 	The screen goes dark.
Taxi 	...the gala? What are you talking about?
Poffer Lord 	Well... you see... we're not exactly a ragtag alliance. I wanted to stop the Order of the Sapphire, and I couldn't do it alone. So, before I met you, I uh... tried to get help. Sewage was attending a gala in Ztarzhine, and I figured it could be my opportunity... but Balloonia wouldn't give me the time of day, so I had to find a team of my own. I was walking through the Crash Site to clear my head when I ran into Wet Balloon. Literally. You winded me like a missile.
Wet Balloon 	Yeah, I'm speedy when I'm stressed!
MR Z BRAINZ 	...walking through the Crash Site? Isn't it a bit dangerous?
Poffer Lord 	The atmosphere is top-notch, even if you get viciously attacked sometimes.
Sinigi 	I can testify to that.
Suddenly, the screen reactivates, and the group is met with the solemn face of Good Wood. 	Suddenly, the screen reactivates, and the group is met with the solemn face of Good Wood.
Good Wood 	Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Allow me to see the Core, please.
MR Z BRAINZ 	(The ruler of Starcenta!?)
Poffer Lord 	(bows) I-it's an honour to be in your presence, Your Majesty-
Good Wood 	No formalities are needed. What you have in your possession is a highly dangerous Elemental Core. Cities have fallen in pursuit of its power. Firstly... I hope you understand the ramifications of possessing this core and storing it in a cloth bag.
Tam 	Of course! It's an honour to hold it! Also, I'm the only one here that can.
Good Wood 	And the logistics of how a group like yours could end up in possession of both this core and one of our own Balloons... are suspicious. (glares slightly) ...but maybe it is mere coincidence. Perhaps you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Several times over.
MR Z BRAINZ 	That's pretty much how it went down. Uh, Your Majesty.
Poffer Lord 	I promise you, our intentions are noble. The core was being mistakenly offered inside the trophy of the Gravion Cup. It fell into their hands first, but we had to win the tournament and take it for ourselves in order to keep it out of the hands of the Sapphire. Your Majesty, please allow us to bequeath this core back to the kingdom of Balloonia.
Good Wood 	...hm. I applaud your... initiative. However, the proper protocol in that situation would have been to alert the authorities so the tournament could have been halted and the core seized by qualified officials. Taking things into your own hands and confronting the Order of the Sapphire led to mass panic and property damage of a historic venue. But, if you are proud of yourselves for doing so, I offer you my sincerest gratitude. Thank you for your time. We will dispatch our officials promptly to carry out your arrest and retrieve the items of mass importance.
Poffer Lord 	It's been our honour to serve Balloonia, Your Majes- Wait, arrest!?
Good Wood 	...oh, perhaps you have not followed my words properly. The unregistered possession of an Elemental Core, no matter the intention, is a crime. Do not be concerned, this has happened before. You will be tried in Balloonia court as per protocol.
MR Z BRAINZ 	I- I- I can't go to prison, I have a job!
Taxi 	And I can't go back to jail! Do something!
OwOrange 	Uwh, what's bween gwoing own fwor the pwast twn mwinutes?
Prunemaster 	Genuinely no idea.
Poffer Lord 	This- this doesn't make any sense! We were trying to HELP you!
Good Wood 	Please don't argue with me. Leave this debate for the courtroom. If you can argue your case effectively, I'm sure your sentence will be lightened. Be reassured - we fully understand your concerns. We are presently considering our options regarding the Order of the Sapphire. You have to know that I know what I'm doing. I've calculated every option - and I know that the safest thing to do is to not allow a group of vigilante misfits to endanger themselves with reckless abandon. Balloonia is here to help.
Poffer Lord 	I... I can't just sit and do nothing! I can't let the world get destroyed while you Balloonia folk just sit and do NOTHING! What have you done to help us!? Have you seen the state of things out here? ZEN is sending its workers deeper and deeper into the Crash Site. The Apparitions are becoming more and more disturbed. The Sapphire are rapidly moving forward. There's fighting at every corner and you're not doing a single thing to help the people of Starcenta!
Good Wood 	Starcenta is in careful equilibrium. You are intruding on a battle that doesn't concern you. You are to STOP what you are doing. You are to surrender without question. You are to leave this matter be. Mark my words - you don't understand what you're getting into.
Poffer Lord 	NO! We're not about to let the Sapphire win! We're not going to let Worm win! And if you think you're going to stop us, we're-
Good Wood 	---Who? The... the... worm?
Wet Balloon 	Yes, and a meanie blue one at that.
Good Wood 	-Listen to me. Your lives, and those of Starcenta's, are at risk. Do NOT communicate with that thing. Whatever you do, do not make things any worse than you already have. If you do not yield, Balloonia will take you by force. My decision is FINAL. Since you seem to be enjoying it thus far - good luck.
Mr Sewage 	Thank you for listening.
Wet Balloon 	But, uh, you're still taking me home, right?
The transmission ends with a jolt. 	The transmission ends with a jolt.
MR Z BRAINZ 	...well, that's it, guys. I guess we should all just go home then.
S.O.D.A. 	Yeah, what a shame. I really thought we had something going here.
Prunemaster 	WAIT, YOU'RE SHUTTING DOWN!? BUT WE JUST GOT HERE!? WHAT!?
OwOrange 	Nwo, ywou cwan't ewnd lwike twhis! Dwon't ewnd lwike twhis!
THE END 	THE END
OwOrange 	NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wet Balloon 	I mean, we have to listen to what the government-
Sinigi 	Actually, no! No we don't! Laws are merely suggestions, my dear balloon. I won't tolerate our alliance getting shut down. No, we're NOT FINISHED!
Poffer Lord 	You know... you're right. We have to take this into our own hands. Who cares if the Good Wood doesn't want us to? What are they gonna do, angrily... poke us with a branch?
Wet Balloon 	Death penalty is still practiced by the Balloonia Government, so, uh...
Tam 	Nah, I'm with you guys. I wanna be a hero for once. Not the... scary fighting guy. Or something.
Taxi 	We already have everything we need, right? S.O.D.A.'s got a home base for us, and we can get easy information from that Cyborg guy sitting over there.
S.O.D.A. 	Cyber. And, uh. He's not in the room. It was a transmission.
Taxi 	How was I supposed to know? I can't see the screen, can I?
S.O.D.A. 	But, yeah. I'm willing to help all of you out for as long as I can, Balloonia be dammed.
Sinigi 	Yeah! I think we've heard enough from that stupid, tiny, useless, annoying, wooden pri-
Worm 	For once, I agree. But that description also applies to you, you know.
Worm jumps down from the rafters and grins deviously. 	Worm jumps down from the rafters and grins deviously.
Worm 	What? Surprised to see me? You're acting like I don't know how to smuggle myself into someone's car boot. I've done it a lot.
Sinigi 	WORM! YOU RECURRING MENACE, YOU! HAVEN'T YOU HAD ENOUGH OF US HUMILIATING YOU YET?
Worm 	Humiliating me? Sorry, who just got shut down by Balloonia again? Oh, yeah. You.
S.O.D.A. 	Hmm? Is that the worm from earlier?
Prunemaster 	This is the, like, first I'm hearing of a worm. You didn't tell us there'd be one.
CosTan 	Sir, there's vermin in the office. Let me fetch the pesticides.
Taxi 	Nah, you can't- actually, no, that could work...
Wet Balloon 	Hey, W! I know we've had our differences, but I think we need to work together on this!
MR Z BRAINZ 	Wet Balloon, what are you-
Wet Balloon 	We share a common enemy, don't we? We both hate the Sapphire. ...and we're both against Balloonia.
Worm 	Oh, yeah, wonderful idea. I'll join your funny little group and engage in frequent shenanigans.
Wet Balloon 	Wow, really?
Worm 	Of course.
WORM JOINED THE- 	WORM JOINED THE-
Worm 	THAT WAS SARCASM, YOU DOLT! OF COURSE I'M NOT JOINING!
Tam 	So, get to the point. What do you want?
Worm 	I want you people out of my way. Everything was so great. Yeah, I didn't have any cores, but I was getting there. But you people came in, with your stupid ragtag alliance, making me out to be this stupid, funny... you see what I mean. I don't want world domination. All I want to do is get my own back, alright? And for the past day, I've had this pecking pain in my neck! And that's you. You're the pain. I know what you are, and I'm not going to let you go any further. I see it in your eyes. It's already bad enough with one of them.
Poffer Lord 	...you're not comparing us to the Sapphire, are you? They're obviously evil. Even if we're wanted by the government, we're of good morals, right?
OwOrange 	(polishing a knife)
Poffer Lord 	...generally good morals, at least.
S.O.D.A. 	That's the problem with the cores, I think. Power corrupts. But, little worm, I can assure you we'll try our best to establish world peace and stuff.
Worm 	You don't listen to anything I say, do you? Do you want me to spell it out for you?
MR Z BRAINZ 	What do you mean?
Worm 	Don't play dumb with me, zombie-man. Now I've got all of you cornered, there's nothing you can do. This time, I won't hesitate to kill all of you. Any last words?
Wet Balloon 	You're pretty mean, W.
Worm 	POOR CHOICE!
BOSS: Flowda Finale	BOSS: Flowda Finale
Area:Flowda Co 	Time to show that worm who's boss!
Boss:Worm 	Playable Characters:MR Z BRAINZ, Wet Balloon, Poffer Lord, Taxi, Tam, Prunemaster + OwOrange, S.O.D.A., CosTan
The Worm is knocked back in disbelief, collapsing onto the floor. 	The Worm is knocked back in disbelief, collapsing onto the floor.
Sinigi 	...HA! WE WON! WE ACTUALLY WON! WE BEAT YOU! CRY ABOUT IT!
Worm 	...nngh...alright, you know what?
Worm 	Fine. You win. Big hooray. Did you really achieve anything?
Taxi 	We didn't die, that's generally a plus.
Worm 	Beating up a poor, vulnerable, defenceless cursed being at its lowest point? Who's the real villain here?
Tam 	No, no, no, no! You've been talking dust at every opportunity to us, and initiated the fight to begin with! Don't try and pull that guilt trip peckery!
Worm 	Worth a shot. Fine, I'll leave. You can continue your little core hunt. But I'm warning you, if Good Wood is after you, your life will become a living hell. Been there, done that. I already know where to go next, thanks to your information. I'll get stronger. I'll beat you. And mark my words, I will succeed. But, most importantly, remember who you are. You're-
CosTan 	(enters and starts jet-spraying pesticides)
Worm 	A-ACK! UGH! OKAY, OKAY, I'M LEAVING!
Worm makes a hasty exit. 	Worm makes a hasty exit.
S.O.D.A. 	Just in time, CosTan. We really need to install some bug zappers in here, or something.
Poffer Lord 	That's no bug... it's certainly bugging us, though.
Sinigi 	Oh, yeah, it's always been like that. Worm always wanted to pick on me, since I was...
OwOrange 	Awnnoying?
Sinigi 	...yes. Okay. I admit it.
Wet Balloon 	I still think we can reason with them. But... it's gonna be hard to go against Balloonia. That's my home.
MR Z BRAINZ 	It's gonna be hard getting back to work in the morning, too.
S.O.D.A. 	You're not going back to work! Being an alliance is your job now!
MR Z BRAINZ 	B-b-but I've got rent to pay! We can't stay in crippling debt, can we?
Tam 	Hey, listen! Whatever tomorrow will hold, we'll be going at it as a team, right? And today has been wild.
Wet Balloon 	It didn't feel like a day, it felt like a whole year! I can't live like this!
CosTan 	Well, I have arranged lodgings in the factory for you all to stay. I hope you don't mind loud machinery.
Prunemaster 	Oh, peck yeah! I love the sounds of loud machinery!
CosTan 	I have also packed food, water and supplies for your journey.
Sinigi 	What, are you gonna tuck us in and read us a bedtime story too?
CosTan 	As you wish.
S.O.D.A. 	Uh... I think they're okay. Besides, they haven't had anything to eat yet! Who's hungry?
Taxi 	Oh, I am! You must have a whole buffet of spare parts lying around here, don't you?
S.O.D.A. 	I mean, like, food.
Taxi 	I only eat metal.
Prunemaster 	Yeah, I'll take the metal too.
OwOrange 	Awnd mwe.
S.O.D.A. 	Well, here's to the alliance! You guys have got a pretty busy day tomorrow...
Sinigi 	To the alliance!
Poffer Lord 	Well, he's right. We've got a lot to do. Let's try and get as well-rested as possible until then...
Happily, the group goes off for a well-deserved dinner and night's rest.	Happily, the group goes off for a well-deserved dinner and night's rest.
...meanwhile, at ZEN Laboratories... 	...meanwhile, at ZEN Laboratories...
TV 	...And in recent news, the 45th annual Gravion Cup was crashed by the Elemental Core-based terrorist organisation, the Order of the Sapphire. Much of the ancient arena and surrounding canyons were damaged by their attack. Thankfully, due to the fact that everyone attending were ghosts, there was no casualties. Next up, a word about the ongoing shortage of artists in mainland Starcenta-
Purp switches the TV off. 	Purp switches the TV off.
Purp 	How subtle. And yet, so disappointing. The Sapphire should know better than to cause a scene by now - it makes their job a lot harder. But, thankfully, it makes ZEN's job a lot easier. Isn't that right, Larry?
Larry 	Yes, sir... I have those records you asked for...
Purp 	The deserter this morning? Tell me, what was his name?
Larry 	His ID is #73831037. Brainz Zombonia Brainz. ...first name Brainz, last name Brainz. That's how he registered.
Purp 	And he was seen this morning being taken out of the crash site by a purple-cloaked man?
Larry 	Yes, sir, with a Balloon and... a... signpost.
Larry takes out the photos and spreads them across Purp's desk. 	Larry takes out the photos and spreads them across Purp's desk.
Purp 	Look into those eyes, Larry. What do you see?
Larry 	He looks dazed, sir.
Purp 	His eyes are full of purpose, like mine. That's one we're looking for. And am I correct in saying that him and his group won the Gravion Cup?
Larry 	They had been joined by a Magnetoid and a ghost at that time. Ghost paparazzi shows pictures of them talking to... the guy from Flowda Co.
Purp 	...Flowda. I see. So, they're conspiring with Flowda now. Well, it's not too late to bring them back onto our side. If my suspicions are confirmed on this new employee... I may have found a solution to the ZEN initiative. Once we have him, the cores, and the five lights in one place, we'll do it, Larry. We'll save the world. But, as it stands, we can't track down the alliance. If you may... retrieve Experiment NZ.
Larry 	...understood.
Larry leaves and returns holding a glass container, containing what appears to be a dark blue flower. 	Larry leaves and returns holding a glass container, containing what appears to be a dark blue flower.
Purp 	Ah, here it is. Alright, Nectar. I have a very special job for you...
Larry takes out a copy of MR Z BRAINZ's ID card and drops it onto the flower, where it is quickly absorbed by flowing nectar. The flower continues to produce nectar at an alarming rate, as it appears to grow and take shape.	Larry takes out a copy of MR Z BRAINZ's ID card and drops it onto the flower, where it is quickly absorbed by flowing nectar. The flower continues to produce nectar at an alarming rate, as it appears to grow and take shape.
Purp 	You need to find this alliance. They're my only beacon of hope. We need as much help as we can get to stand against Balloonia, and we're running out of time. Alright? Remember, you're helping me put the future back together. Piece, by piece, by piece.
Larry 	...sir, I don't think it can hear you.
Purp 	...yeah, true. Alright. Wipe my schedule, Larry, I've got new plans for the week...
END OF CHAPTER 1
Chapter 2
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Category:Storylines