Unclassy Pet

"Unclassy Pet" is a Season 1 episode of Squiddie's School.
==Characters==
*Squidward Tentacles
*Patrick Star
*Eugene H. Krabs
*SpongeBob SquarePants
*Sheldon J. Plankton
*Pearl Krabs
*Bubble Bass
*CrazySponge (mentioned)
*Matchy
*Gary the Snail
*Larry the Lobster
*Sandy Cheeks
*Bully Snails
==Synopsis==
When SpongeBob brings Gary to school, he wreaks havoc all across the classroom, but when the class' safety is put in jeopardy, he must save them.
==Transcript==
[episode begins at SpongeBob’s house where he is getting ready for school. He’s in the kitchen reading the newspaper while sipping on a mug of coffee]
SpongeBob: [reading and then starts laughing] HAH! King Neptune’s approval rating dropped 6%! [sets newspaper down] Perhaps he shouldn’t have funded New Kelp City’s weapons. [sips coffee as he gets up] Welp, time to go to school. Can’t wait for Squidward to rub his massive tentacle on me! [Gary comes slithering over with a leash in his mouth]
Gary: [spits leash out] Meow?
SpongeBob: Oh, you wanna go on a walk? Sorry, Gary, but I have to be at art school in 20 minutes. Maybe later. [gets to the door but Gary keeps following him]
Gary: Meow!
SpongeBob: No, Gary. [tries to get around him, but Gary keeps guarding the door] Ugh…
Gary: MEOW! [bites SpongeBob’s nose] Meow.
SpongeBob: Damn it, Gary, what is it? Why can’t you wait until I get home? [Gary starts whimpering] Well? [slithers up onto SpongeBob’s head]
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: No, biting my nose was still gross. [has a grin] Wait… I think I got it! You want to come to school with me, don’t you?
Gary: [does a backflip] Meow meow!
SpongeBob: Well, well, why didn’t you just ask. [walks out] I hope they like you, buddy.
[cuts to the school where SpongeBob is walking in with Gary on his head. He opens the door to see everyone looking at him, already in their seats. Squidward has his hands on his sides]
Squidward: You’re late.
Eugene: Don’t worry, boy. It’s not as bad as being late to work. [turns to CrazySponge] Unlike YOU, green boy.
CrazySponge: o
SpongeBob: I’m sorry, Mr. Tentacles. It’s just that Gary was holding me back at the pineapple.
Squidward: You mean you brought your snail to class?
Patrick: Mmmm…. [puts on a bib] Fresh snail.
SpongeBob: [ignores Patrick] Yes, Mr. Tentacles! He was lonely.
Pearl: Well why didn’t you just tell him to buy stuff?
SpongeBob: He’s a snail, Pearl. [turns back to Squidward] Please sir, please! [gets on knees and begs as Gary jumps off] Just give him a chance.
Squidward: Eh… alright, fine.
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, can you stay on your knees and just scoot over here?
SpongeBob: Patrick, how many times do I have to tell your fat ass that I am STRAIGHT! Straight as a ruler!
Eugene: [whispers] A bendy ruler, that is.
[cuts to a new scene where Squidward is giving the class a lecture. Gary is on the table next to SpongeBob]
Squidward: Alright, so we’re gonna learn how to work with watercolors. [pulls out a watercolor palette] So what you wanna do is- [Gary jumps off of the table and gets slime all over the watercolors]
Gary: Meow! [jumps off as it cuts to all of the paint being destroyed my Gary’s slime]
Squidward: SPONGEBOB! Your snail is ruining my precious paints.
SpongeBob: But Squidward, his slime is just water.
Sandy: Yeah, I mean, plus we live in water.
Patrick: [leans in] Oh boy, I’d love some of your water, Sandy!
Sandy: PATRICK!
Squidward: Okay, everyone SHUT UP! [picks Gary up and brings him back to SpongeBob] SpongeBob, keep your FILTHY snail out of my demonstration area. Remember, this is a- MATCHY! [moves camera to show Matchy out of her seat by the pencil sharpener] WHY IS YOUR DICK IN THE PENCIL SHARPENER?!
Matchy: Eh… I was using it to pleasure myself. [pulls it out]
Squidward: How many times do I have to tell you! Wait until you get home to pleasure yourself. [points outside] Go find some other pencil sharpener to jack off! [Matchy gets up and leaves the classroom, as everyone nonchalantly goes back to the lesson] So anyway, does anyone have any questions about bathroom passes? [Larry raises his hand] Yes, Larry?
Larry: What the hell is that snail doing?
Squidward: Huh? [looks to see Gary biting Larry in the chest] WHAT THE?!
Larry: [screams] He’s heading for CrazySponge! [camera pans over to show Gary jumping on top of CrazySponge multiple times and biting his remains]
Everyone: CRAZYSPONGE DIED OH GOD OH FUCK!
Gary: Meow. [grins. https://youtu.be/ssWiKf453dQ plays as Gary continues to go around and terrorize all of the students in the class. He drips slime into Pearl’s spout, causing her to spout extreme amounts of snail slime. He bites off one of Eugene’s eyes, which causes Sheldon to laugh before he gets one of his antennas bitten off. He ends up doing damage to everyone except for SpongeBob, as he slithers back to him in comfort.] Meow! [curls up next to SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Gary, why did you do that?
Squidward: The real question is [walks over] Why did you bring him here to attack everyone?
SpongeBob: I don’t know, he’s usually not like this!
Eugene: Take him out, boy. He’s just a delinquent snail.
SpongeBob: Yeah, says the capitalist.
Bubble Bass: No, fellow Mermaid Man fan. [gets on his table in a Mermaid Man costume] Your snail is a damn fool. He needs to go.
[everyone in the class agrees and gets on their feet, becoming a rioting force]
SpongeBob: Hey, don’t riot! [gets mad] Don’t make me get the tear gas and rubber bullets!
Everyone: [lights torches] Come on, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Come on guys, he’s just a sn- [Gary releases slime all over SpongeBob, causing him to absorb it at a fast pace] Gary no!
Gary: MEOW! [SpongeBob keeps getting bigger and bigger, filled with snail slime] Meow.
Squidward: She’s gonna blow!
[SpongeBob bursts and slime flows all over the school and outside, creating craters on the side of the holes and wrecking all of the decorations and furniture in the classroom. SpongeBob appears to be deflating until he reaches the ground with bubbles coming out of his holes]
SpongeBob: Well… [pops back into regular form] Gary, this is the last straw! [shows Patrick sipping on a glass of beer]
Patrick: Oops, I’m out of straws.
SpongeBob: [puts Gary on a leash] Until you learn how to behave yourself… [brings him outside and ties him to the bike rack] ...you will be staying here. Outside. Out of the school.
Gary: Meow?
SpongeBob: Well perhaps you should’ve told me that earlier. [sheds a tear while heading back inside] I’m sorry, Gary.
Gary: [eyes get watery; shrugs it off as he sees Matchy also outside of the classroom]
Matchy: Welcome to the club.
Gary: Meow.
[cuts back to in the school]
Squidward: You made the right choice, square bastard. Now time to continue with my lesson.
Sandy: So we’re just gonna ignore that the classroom is destroyed? [shows entire classroom as a wasteland]
Squidward: Yes. [starts writing on the chalkboard] So, for today, we will be making a painting with watercolors. Watercolors work best on paper, or even a canvas.
Patrick: Ah yes, a canvas. [pulls down his pants]
SpongeBob: Patrick, that’s Matchy’s job.
Patrick: Oh.
[cuts back to outside where Gary is sleeping while on his leash. After a few seconds of snoring, the bully snails that he fought with in “Gary in Love” slither over to the school. They notice Gary is sleeping]
Bully Snail #1: Hm… it’s him again. [slaps him with one of his eyestalks] Stupid slug!
Bully Snail #2: This is the place, boss.
Bully Snail #1: Yup, sure is. Come on boys. [slithers through the doors]
Bully Snails #2 and #3: Yes sir! [follow him shortly behind as Squidward is teaching]
Squidward: And that’s the secret to watercolors. [looks over to see the snails coming in] SpongeBob! Your damn pet attracted more of his kind.
SpongeBob: Don’t be silly, it can’t be- [looks over and then gets a shocked expression] Holy shit.
Bully Snail #1: Yeah, yeah, that’s right. We’re your superiors. [jumps onto the desk with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy] We’re here to GET some.
Patrick: Don’t worry, I totally understand. I also want some.
Bully Snail #1: SILENCE! [slaps him with his tail and jumps off]
Patrick: Ouch.
Bully Snail #2: Any last words? [scans area to see a silent crowd] Very well then. [a fighting cue is heard as all three snails jump onto different sections of the room, creating cartoonish cat fight effects. The first snail is knocking all of Squidward’s art pieces down off of the walls, the second one is biting several of the students at once, and the third one is sticking his eyestalk in the pencil sharpener.]
Bully Snail #3: What? I like it.
SpongeBob: Get off of me, you rapist! [the second snail continues to tear at his eyes] Welp… guess I’ll need to grow some new ones back.
[more damage is done by the snails as it shows Gary outside waking up from his nap]
Gary: Aw… meow. [turns around to see the doors opening and all of the damage done inside] MEOW?! [gets angry and chomps in fury. He turbo slithers into the room and begins to evolve into a bigger version of himself. He then roars, causing all of the students and the snails to be shocked]
SpongeBob: Gary! You’ve come to help us!
Bully Snail #1: What the?! How? [Gary slaps the bully with the hand he grew, launching him against the wall and breaking his shell] Hm. I see. Yes, very interesting.
Bully Snail #2: He took the boss out! [goes to the third snail] We’re doomed!
SpongeBob: Go get them, Gary! [Gary jumps on both of the bully snails, making them suffer the same fate as the first one. All three are without their shells and hopeless. In his final act, Gary inhales all of the damages decorations and furniture, swishes them around, and then spits them all out, putting them back into their places. He then goes back to his regular form as he gets a grin.] Meow meow!
Squidward: Well… interesting. [the rest of their class goes over to hug Gary]
SpongeBob: Holy shit, Gary, you saved us from those bully snails!
Bully Snail #1: Well boys, our gig is up. We’re moving on. [all three of them look back towards the class and slither out of the door]
Patrick: That’s my cousin!
Eugene: Yup. The snail saved us!
[Squidward walks over when all of them begin to chant Gary]
Squidward: Well, SpongeBob, I suppose I was wrong about your mutt. He’s useful after all. [picks him up] In fact, I propose that we make him the new class pet! If that’s fine with him, of course.
Gary: [nods] Meow meow!
SpongeBob: Hooray!
Sheldon: Eh, who cares, really. [Eugene steps on him] AGGGHHHH!!! Eh, I guess I deserved that one.
SpongeBob: Oh yeah, Gary. [brings him back into his hands] You’re the new class pet!
Gary: [spits some of the extra trash out of his mouth] Meow!
[episode ends]'
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