Schrute Customs

* The Schrute family is historically Amish. 
* Schrutes have superior genes. 
* Schrutes produce very thirsty babies. 
* Schrutes value children for their ability to help work in the fields. 
* Schrutes do not back down. 
* Schrutes are loyal. (On the other hand, Mannheims know when to cut and run.) 
* Schrutes use every part of the goose. 
* Schrutes marry standing in their own graves. This was confirmed by a photograph in the Schrute Farms wedding album. 
* Schrutes who fail at something are shunned for three years. Dwight was shunned from ages four to six for not saving excess oil from a can of tuna. 
* Schrutes live a long time. Grandma Schrute lived to age 101. 
* When a Schrute male has sex with a woman, he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats. 
* Schrute babies are uncircumcised. 
* Schrutes believe in a five-fingered intervention: Awareness, education, control, acceptance, and punching. 
* Schrute boys must learn 40 rules before the age of five. They are told that if they don't learn their rules, they will be eaten in their sleep. 
* Schrutes have not celebrated birthdays since the Depression.
* Do not turn your back on bears, a man you have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season. 
*The youngest child raises all the older children. 
*Schrutes have a dress code when mourning. 
*If a Schrute throws red dirt at your face, you are invited to a funeral. 
*If a Schrute throws black dirt at your face, you are not. 
*It is customary to shoot the dead at a funeral, to ensure that he or she is actually dead. (There was an unlucky streak of burying heavy sleepers at one point.) 
*If a man is interested in courting a woman, he may throw the beaks of a crow at her. And then, if she's interested in accepting the courtship, she has to destroy the beaks. 
*Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses. Second only to the neck. 
Category:Lists
Category:Trivia