Take my wife, please

"Take my wife... please" is a classic one-liner made famous by Henny Youngman. The added verb alters the statement from giving a for instance to a literal request to have someone take the speaker's wife.
==The Muppets==
* In episode 103 of The Muppet Show, Fozzie Bear (insisting that he can tell a joke on any subject) recites the joke when Kermit asks him to please stop.
* In the queue area of Muppet*Vision 3D, one of the clapboards lists "My Wife, Please!" for the take of the scene being filmed.
==Sesame Street==
* Ernie auditions Merry Men for a Robin Hood play in one sketch. Harvey Kneeslapper bothers Ernie with countless one-liners, including "Take my wife... please!"
* In a sketch, Bert reads from his pigeon joke book. One joke is "Take my hens... please!"
* In the Sesame Street song "I Love My Elbows", Kermit sings a lyric: "Hey, take my ankles, please!"
* During a "Here Is Your Life" segment about a carton of eggs, Corny the Corn (who spends the segment making corny jokes) remarks, "Here is your life... please!" He is later heard telling Farmer Fowler his joke is in reference to Youngman.
* The Joke Tree in the "Beanstalk" episode of "Journey to Ernie" says "Take my woodpecker, please!"
* In Elmo's World: Violins, a violin repeatedly makes the joke "take my bow, please!"
==See also==
* That was no lady
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Category:Joke References