Inspector Gadget/Transcript

==Transcript==
- [Man Yelling] Help!
- [Children Screaming]
- [Man] See you at the P.T.A. Meeting.
- ## [Whistling]
- [Woman] Good morning, Officer Brown.
John Brown: Morning.
- [Man] Officer Brown! How do you do?
John Brown: Morning.
Bus Driver: No brakes!
Penny: Help, Uncle John!
- Somebody help!
- Save us!
Help!
Brenda: Where's Officer Brown?
Penny: Help!
- Hey, the dog!
- [All] The dog!
- [Dog Howls]
John Brown: Gotcha!
- [Crowd Cheers]
[Little Girl] Oh, Harvey!
Brenda: Officer Brown, you're my hero.
John Brown: Oh, please, miss. It was nothing. Oh, geez...
[A transition reveals it's only a dream as Brain the dog licks the sleeping John Brown.]
John Brown: (while sleeping) All in a day's work, ma'am. Any cop woulda done the same. (wakes up) Brain? Yech.
Penny: [Laughing] Having another hero cop dream, Uncle John?
John Brown: Every time I close my eyes. How was school?
Penny: Fine. Don't forget: Tomorrow's the day parents come and talk about their careers.
John Brown: Oh. Well, I might have to work. You want me to ask off?
Penny: Oh, no. That's okay. Parents coming to school... whose idea was that anyway?
John Brown: But if it's important to you, Penny...
Penny: Did the letter come?
John Brown: Letter? Uh, gee, well... What letter? I don't... Oh, yes. They said two years as a security guard isn't enough experience to be a cop.
Penny: Uncle John, I'm sorry.
John Brown: Me too. Well, I can still secure and protect. I just think I could do so much more good as a cop.
Penny: Hey, wait a minute. Tomorrow's your day off.
John Brown: Oh, well... [Sighs] Look, I know that Nicole's dad is a lawyer, and Kim's dad is a dentist, and I just didn't want to embarrass you with your friends. If I only had that badge.
Penny: Uncle John, it's not the badge, it's the heart behind it. I'm very proud of you.
Brenda: Fingers crossed. This chip is gonna make
the whole Gadget project work. Dad, concentrate. Try to move the foot.
Dr. Bradford: (sighs) All right. Kick the ball.
[Sighs]
Nothin'. I'm hungry.
Brenda: Okay, all right. I'll go get us
some dinner. But then we keep going.
- Yeah.
- Okay. I'll call the guardhouse... so they don't search the deliver guy again.
Hello, Antonio's? Yeah, it's Brenda.
No, foot's still not moving.
- Dad, keep thinking about
that foot. Yep, the usual.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[Humming]
[Continues Humming]
- [Gasping] Dad.
- Hmm? What?
[Brenda Stammers]
Tap your foot again.
- What?
- Huh.
That's weird.
Wh-What were you thinking about?
I was thinking about how much
you remind me of your mother.
[Snickers]
Wait a second.
Wait a second!
That's it! It's animated
by will, not by thought.
By your heart, not your head!
[Laughing]
- Come on, try it again. Do it again!
- All right.
[Laughing]
[Together]
We did it! We moved the foot!
- 
Thelma: Jack, queen...
John Brown: [Whistles] Brenda Bradford... she's so beautiful. Wowser.
Thelma: Black eight on the red nine... What?
John Brown: Oh, oh, nothin'. I was just talkin' to myself. Thelma, how do I look?
Thelma: Like a geek from Kansas who became a security guard.
[In a black limo, an ominous figure watches Brenda leave the building while a white cat sits by. We can only see his hand and back.]
Sanford Scolex: Brenda Bradford. Well, good evening, young lady. It's been a while. [Chuckles] 
John Brown: Four, three, two, one, zero.
- ## [Brenda Humming]
- [Watch Beeps]
- Go. Dr Bradford.
Brenda: Yes?
John Brown: Hi.
Brenda: Hi.
John Brown: I borrowed a book from your dad.
Brenda: You did?
John Brown: Power Learning Through Speed Study.
Brenda: Oh.
John Brown: It took me forever to get through it. But I really think it's gonna pay off, though. I just applied to the Riverton police force.
Brenda: Yeah?
John Brown: It's what I've always wanted to do. Help people, that is.
Brenda: Um, I gotta...
[Cut back to the ominous figure in the limo.]
Sanford Scolex: Dr Bradford is out of the lab and we can go in. Sikes, release the remote-control van. [Electronic Beeping]
John Brown: Nice stars.
Brenda: Yeah? Which ones?
John Brown: I just meant the whole... All of'em.
Brenda: Oh, I thought you meant a specific cluster. I always take everything so literally.
John Brown: So do I.
Brenda: Yeah? I forgot my keys.
John Brown: Oh.
Brenda: [Chuckles] I'm... Okay. 
John Brown: Sorry. Good night, now.
Brenda: Night.
John Brown: [Sighs] Well, I'll just stay here, then, and, uh, secure the parking lot.
Sanford Scolex: Concentrate, you twit! 
John Brown: Hey, that guy's speeding. Ten miles an hour in the parking lot, buddy!
Sanford Scolex: No-no-no-no, straight ahead! No, left!
Sykes: Bad cat. Bad cat.
Sanford Scolex: Left, Sikes, turn!
John Brown: What was that?
Thelma: We have an intruder on the premises... a black van.
John Brown: Where?
Thelma: Try that big hole in the wall!
John Brown: [Gasps] Brenda.
[He rushes to the building.]
Dr. Bradford: Huh?
Sanford Scolex: Hello, Artemus. I'll take that.
Dr. Bradford: Oh, no, wait. No, no, no, no! Now, just a moment... [Gasps]
Sanford Scolex: Arrivederci, Professor.
Thelma: Uh-oh! Someone's gonna blame the old lady.
Sanford Scolex: Sniffy, let's go. [Sobbing]
John Brown: Dr Bradford, I won't rest until l find whoever's responsible. Justice will be served.
Thelma: Brown, where are you going?
John Brown: To catch the bad guys! Stand back, Thelma!
Thelma: This isn't going to end well. You're not on duty, Brown!
John Brown: I'm always on duty!
Sanford Scolex: Oh, no. We're being chased by the hatchback squad. 
Sykes: [Laughs] Hey, I have a hatchback.
John Brown: Ooh. Oh! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa-oah! Now you've crossed the line. Pull over, you!
Sanford Scolex: Stop the car, Sikes. I want to enjoy this. [Laughing]
John Brown: Oh, gosh! Oh!
Sykes: Uh-oh.
[The billboard crashes into the car.]
John Brown: Attention! Driver of the wrecked limo... attached to the Yahoo! Billboard, this is Security Officer John Brown. Please step out of the vehicle immediately... or... else.
Sanford Scolex: Fine work, Mr. Security Guard. You got me. Here. Have a victory cigar.
John Brown: No, thanks.
Sanford Scolex: Remember: Smoking kills.
John Brown: I don't smoke.
Sanford Scolex: Oh, really? You will now. [Laughing] 
John Brown: Oh, boy.
Bowling Ball: Oh, Nooo!
Sanford Scolex: [Shrieking] My hand!
Penny: Pardon me! Excuse me! Comin' through! Hey, have you seen my uncle, John Brown?
Brenda: Uh, he's in there.
[Penny enters the room.]
Penny: Uncle John? Please wake up. I know you can hear me. Look who I brought to visit. Look, it's Brain. He came to see you. Okay. No. Not in his mouth, Brain. No. No. Okay, stop.
Doctor: We're lookin' at extensive tissue damage: 44 fractures, a major concussion, all coupled with extensive internal trauma. 
Brenda: This man tried to save my father. He risked his life to protect our work.
Doctor: We've done all we can.
Brenda: Not yet, we haven't.
Mayor's Assistant: Mayor's coming through! Clear the way!
Mayor Wilson: Dr Bradford!
Mayor's Assistant: Clear for the mayor!
Mayor Wilson: Dr Bradford, both I and Police Chief Quimby here...
Quimby: Hi.
Mayor Wilson: ...are very sorry to hear about your father. He was a good man.
Brenda: Oh. D-Did you know him?
Mayor Wilson: No, I didn't. So, how soon can you finish the Gadget project, hmm? 
Brenda: I'm sure that he would have wanted me to finish it as soon as possible.
Mayor Wilson: Mmm. 
Chief Quimby: Oh. Yeah. With the, uh, "English Patient" there?
Mayor Wilson: That's enough, Quimby.
Chief Quimby: Sorry. Just doesn't look like you got off to a good start. 
Mayor Wilson: [Laughing] So, how can you be so sure that this is the proper subject?
Brenda: Dad told me that I would know when the right man came along. John Brown's the right man.
Mayor Quimby: Well.
Wilson: Well. That's good enough for me. [Laughs] Let's go.
Surgeons: Hmm.
[All the surgeons started to get to work.]
Chain saw!
- Waxy build-up, stat.
- Bring in the hoses, stat!
[Surgeons Continue Noisily]
[Man] Ready, and... break!
Mayor Wilson: It's a thing of beauty, Quimby. The future of law enforcement reborn before our very eyes.
Chief Quimby: Yeah... Columbo and Nintendo all rolled into one.
Mayor Wilson: He'll make you obsolete: No overtime, no hazard pay, no blue flu. [Laughs] And he won't call me "Evil Gidget" behind my back. Oh, by the way, what do we have on the Artemus Bradford murder?
Chief Quimby: Well, we got a limo with no licence... and some scrap metal from whatever it was that broke into the lab.
Mayor Wilson: Do we at least know what was stolen?
Officer: According to Doctor Bradford, a robotic foot.
Chief Quimby: Robotic foot.
Mayor Wilson: A robotic foot?
Chief Quimby: Yeah.
Mayor Wilson: What kind of cyberfreak are we dealing with?
[Cut to Scolex Industries.]
Sanford Scolex: (offscreen) Not bad, Kramer. Not bad at all.
[Kramer lets out a Relieved Sigh as Scolex marvels at his robotic claw.]
Sanford Scolex: It's got a sort of postmodern Captain Hook kind of feel to it. Very diabolical. [Chuckles] I deserve a dashing appellation. 
Kramer: "Dashing Appalachian"? What is that? A hillbilly with a tuxedo?
Sanford Scolex: No, you idiot!
Kramer: No!
Sanford Scolex: [Chuckles] It's a nickname... one that will send my enemies cowering in fear. Ah. Ah, too bad "Hook" is taken, huh? 
Sykes: How 'bout..."Captain Claw"?
Kramer: Oh.
Sanford Scolex: No, no, no, no, no...
Kramer: Or "Santa Claw."
Sanford Scolex: Just "Claw." One word, like "Madonna." 
Kramer: Well, anyhoo, Captain... Sir... Mr Claw, I know how much you like to maintain an active lifestyle, so I have managed to design...a few interchangeable options. Hi, hi. [Laughs]
Sanford Scolex: Oh, very clever, Kramer.
Sykes: [Mocking] "Very clever, Kramer." 
Sanford Scolex: Very clever, indeed. 
Kramer: Well, first we have the opera hand... for those special nights out. And I know how much you enjoy Japanese food, so I made you a sushi hand... see there? [Mimics Eating] Tasty. 
Sanford Scolex: Hmm. 
Kramer: [Nervously] Also, I don't remember if you enjoy the medieval fare, but...
Sanford Scolex: Kramer, that's enough. Sikes, bring on the foot. 
What the...
What have they got me on?
Oh, my...
I, um...
Nurse: Your thumb's on fire!
John Brown: I seem to be having a reaction.
- [Shrieking]
Brenda: Mr. Brown.
John Brown: Oh. Oh, it's you.
Brenda: It's all right. It's all right.
John Brown: Um, I, uh... I don't know what's wrong. I, uh... I seem to be ill, and I can't remember anything.
Brenda: You may not remember very much right now. You suffered a major concussion in the explosion.
John Brown: What happened?
Brenda: You've just come out of a very long recovery. You are now a sophisticated network of tissue, hardware and software.
John Brown: No! I gotta get outta here.
Brenda: Mr Brown... Mr Brown, come back here. We're gonna go in... I'll take...
Look, Mr Brown, I know that this is all new for you, and it must feel strange. You will adjust.
John Brown: My head is very heavy.
Brenda: Don't worry. That's easy to fix.
John Brown: [Grunts] I don't wanna be like this. I don't understand what happened to me.
Brenda: John, we saved your life.
John Brown: I'm not me any more. I'm a hardware store.
Brenda: This is a huge opportunity. You were designed as the first prototype
cyber police officer for the Riverton Police Department. You said yourself you wanted to help people... this is your chance.
I do want to help people.
Brenda: - I know.
Brenda:- I'll be with you every step of the way.
Okay. I'd shake your hand but you might lose an eye.
Sanford Scolex: An android of this quality could have a myriad of uses: Shock troops, kamikaze pilots, hit men.
Kramer: International rescue workers, teachers.
Sanford Scolex: Oh, yes. I was getting to them. Well, let's see him in action, huh?
Kramer: Okay.
Sanford Scolex: Oh, I'll strap myself in. Okay. Turn me on, Kramer.
Move, darn you! Move!- 
Sykes: It's a lemon.
Sanford Scolex: Thank you for that, Sikes. You put it on. Come on.
Sykes: Why can't he do it?
Sanford Scolex: He's capable of intelligent thought. That's useful to me. Now, strap you in. Perhaps if we give him maximum voltage. 
Kramer: Yeah, that might work.
Sykes: I want my...
mama!
Sanford Scolex: Something got left behind. What does Brenda have that I don't?
Brenda: This is the single most important component: The neurone synapse amplifier. It's a high-powered processor chip... that increases the charge in the human brain wave... enough to move the machinery that's now built into your body. Without this chip... the most powerful robotics chip in the world... your body couldn't possibly function. Any more questions?
Inspector Gadget: Nope, I'm fine. Guess it just takes a little getting used to, you know?
Brenda: Good. Then I will just give you your manual to study. [pulls out a book] Volume one. 
Inspector Gadget: Mm-hmm. Looks like the usual stuff: Extendo-legs, helicopter hat. Guess I'm all set then. 
Brenda: Right. Oh! There's one more thing. I almost forgot. It's important. Your new wardrobe. 
[She shows him the Gadget suit as the iconic Gadget theme plays.]
Inspector Gadget: The Gadget suit.
[Later, the two are at a park with Gadget in his new suit.]
Brenda: Okay, so if you want to operate one of your gadgets, you simply say "Go, go, Gadget," and then you name the device.
Inspector Gadget: Well, couldn't I say something more official, like, like, "In the name of justice."
Brenda: [Giggles] Well, you could, but it wouldn't work. 
Inspector Gadget: But "Go, go, Gadget," sounds so...
Brenda: My father designed the programme, and he...
Inspector Gadget: Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh! It's "Go, go, Gadget." I really like it.
Brenda: Okay. Good. I'm glad. So, okay, let's say there are two guys trying to rob a jewellery store, and you wanted to trip 'em up... what would you do?
Inspector Gadget: Okay, uh, let me think. 
[The "Jeopardy!" Theme Plays as he thinks with a lightbulb appearing from his hat. It then lights up as he gets an idea.]
Inspector Gadget: Go, go, Gadget... oil slick.
[His coat sleeve brings out a hose that sprays Brenda with blue toothpaste.]
Brenda: That's not oil, it's toothpaste! 
[Gadget tries to turn off his toothpaste hose.] 
Inspector Gadget: Ooh! Ooh!
Brenda: [Laughing] Stop it! Whoa! Say, "Go, go, Gadget, stop"!
Inspector Gadget: Go, go, stop!
Brenda: We're gonna need some more work with you.
[Cut to a blindfolded Gadget training under a guru.]
Guru: [Humming] Try to visualize your goal. Concentrate. Put all other things out of your head... except obtaining the balls.
[He gestures to a pair of blue balls by his feet.]
Inspector Gadget: Okay.
[The onlookers watch this play out on TV.]
Mayor Wilson: He's just like the "Six Million Dollar Man."
[Gadget extends his hand out to grab the blue balls. Unfortunately, he grabs... the wrong pair. The Guru screams like a little girl; cut to the observation room, where the onlookers wince in sympathy.]
Guru: (In the highest-pitched voice imaginable) UNGRIP! UNGRIP! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!
Chief Quimby: Well, I guess $6 million doesn't buy what it used to. (laughs)
Brenda: Excuse me. [As hospital workers put the guru in an ambulance, with an ice pack on his crotch]
Guru: (Still in the highest-pitched voice imaginable) He is not a man, you know. D'oh! He is a monster! (Sobs in pain)
[Later, Brenda brings Gadget to the garage.]
Brenda: I've got something special to show you. Ta-da! The Gadgetmobile.
[She shows him the Gadgetmobile.]
Inspector Gadget: Wow.
Brenda: It's for you. I made it myself. Come on.
Inspector Gadget: You made me a car? The only thing anybody's ever made me before is a sweater. 
Brenda: All right. Now, it may look simple, but this thing has just about as many factory extras as you do. Come on! Get in there!
Gadget: Oh...
Brenda: Watch the coat. Okay. 
Inspector Gadget: Gosh, she's incredible.
Brenda: Oh, it's a he.
Inspector Gadget: Excuse me?
Brenda: You'll see. Okay, now, it has voice activation, ejection seats, a power-assisted metamorphic camouflage system, a cardio-homing device. Then there's a periscope, a candy...
Inspector Gadget: Dr Bradford, there's something I just have to ask you.
Brenda: Oh, just say, "Go, go, Gadgetmobile."
Inspector Gadget: Yes, but will you.. "Go, go, Gadgetmobile"?
[Then, the Gadgetmobile activates.]
Gadgetmobile: Good morning, Riverton! Hey! Who's in the car? I work alone. Hey, before we hit the road, I gotta tell you somethin'. Duck!
- [Gasps]
Inspector Gadget: I don't think the car likes me.
Gadgetmobile: Who you callin' "car"? I'm a crime-fighting machine. Watch this. Left turn! Haven't you fallen out yet?
Inspector Gadget: No, sir, I haven't!
Gadgetmobile: Who are you, rookie?
Inspector Gadget: I'm Officer John Brown, and you're exceeding the speed limit.
Gadgetmobile: Speed limits are for cars, not the Gadgetmobile.
Inspector Gadget: Are you talking to me?
Gadgetmobile: Speakin' of the law, who's not wearing a seat belt? Gotta wear the belt, baby! Hey! It's a Disney movie. Now, I'm gonna fight me some crime. Whoo! More left turns!
Inspector Gadget: Could you slow down, please? I... I get carsick.
Gadgetmobile: You know what makes me peoplesick? A rookie thinkin' he's good enough for Dr B.
Inspector Gadget: Not that it's your business, but what makes you think I was putting moves on Dr Bradford?
Gadgetmobile: Hey, I've got heat sensors. I know what you were thinkin' when Dr B. Gave you that smile.
Now, look here. Come clean with me, or
I'm gonna bounce you right outta here.
Inspector Gadget: I can assure you my only interest in Dr Bradford is professional.
Gadgetmobile: [Laughing] "Professional," huh? Well, good. Keep it that way, and that's an order. You got it?
Inspector Gadget: Uh, I'm the inspector, you're the car. 
Gadgetmobile: I'll tell you what you are. You're the... [Blubbering] Don't make me go "De La Hoya" on you! 
Inspector Gadget: Isn't there an "off" button or something? A "mute"?
Man: Oh!
Inspector Gadget: Sorry, sir!
Gadgetmobile: Don't push my buttons without readin' the manual! Ooh, watch out there, now.
Hot Dog Vendor: Whoa! [Gadgetmobile Laughs] Hmm?
Gadgetmobile: Aw, man. I got a june bug in my grille. [Spits]
Inspector Gadget: Shouldn't we be working together, helping people?
Gadgetmobile: Why didn't you say so?- [Tyres Screech]
- [Gasps]
Gadgetmobile: Yo, Clouseau... 9:00. Left, you idiot!
[He spots two convicts trying to steal a car.]
Convict 1: Over the lock!
Convict 2: Shut up and let me do it.
Inspector Gadget: Very observant, Gadgetmobile. Time to do some good.
[He gets out of the car and approaches the two convicts.]
Inspector Gadget: Lost your keys, fellas?
Convict 2: Uh, keys... 
Convict 1: Yeah, keys.
Inspector Gadget: Allow me to help.
Gadgetmobile: Say "bye-bye" to the rookie.
Inspector Gadget: Here. This ought to do it.
Convict 2: Oh. Thanks.
Gadgetmobile: Yo! Check out the bowling shirt!
Inspector Gadget: Huh. I'm a bowler myself. You work at the prison? 
Convict 2: Uh, yeah. Work at the prison.
Gadgetmobile: [Whispering] Psst! Gadget!
Inspector Gadget: I'll be getting into the law enforcement bowling league too. There you are. Drive carefully. 
Convict 2: We'll see you.
Gadgetmobile: That's it. I can't take it anymore. Step away from the Viper!
Inspector Gadget: Hey, what's the big idea?
Gadgetmobile: Open your eyes! We got a couple of jailbreakers! 
Inspector Gadget: Well, then, we should inform the prison guar... Wait a minute! 
Gadgetmobile: Let's split up. I'll go after 'em, and you say "ten-four."
Inspector Gadget: Ten-four! Go, go, Gadget... coils! 
Inspector Gadget: Skates! I meant skates!
Gadgetmobile: Come here, Carl Lewis.
Inspector Gadget: Uh, halt! Forward! Oh, for cryin' out loud. Go, go, forward, please! Oh, for Pete's sake! Halt! [Grunts]
Gadgetmobile: Hello. Sit back and enjoy the bars. You'll be lookin' at 'em for the next 20 years. [Laughs]
Inspector Gadget: [Panting] Oh! Ooh! Uh-oh. Oh, gosh! Ooh! Go, go, Gadget... [Muffled] grappling hook!
Convict 2: Whoa!
[Crowd Cheering]
Inspector Gadget: Wowser!
Man: (On TV) The Riverton Police Department has a new cop on the beat. Here's Tira with the story.
Tira: (on TV) In an incredible display of courage, Riverton's first cyber-crime-fighter heroically apprehended two escaped convicts this afternoon in the downtown area. The soon-to-be inspector will be inducted into the Riverton Police Department at a gala event tomorrow night.
Sanford Scolex: Why, it's that annoying little security guard from the institute.
Tira: (on TV) ...Riverton's much admired budget surplus to fund...
Sanford Scolex: So he's the lucky duck they plucked for the Gadget programme. Ha! Irony abounds.
Sikes: That's my cruller! Gimme that!
- [Crashing, Cat Meowing]
Sanford Scolex: [Chuckles] Sikes!
Sikes: Yes, boss?
Sanford Scolex: Get my tuxedo ready. Tomorrow, promises to be quite an evening.
Penny: So, anyone special going tonight?
Inspector Gadget: Well, the mayor, the governor.
Penny: Any doctors?
Inspector Gadget: Doctors?
Penny: You know, female doctors... very attractive female doctors.
Inspector Gadget: Wowser.
- 
[Imagination begins] 
Inspector Gadget: Is it that obvious? 
Penny: [Sighs] Come on, Uncle John. You just need to... Ioosen up, be cool.
Inspector Gadget: You been talking to my car?
Penny: What?
Inspector Gadget: Huh. You'll see.
Penny: Fire!
Inspector Gadget: Wrong finger.
Penny: Careful.
Brenda: Excuse me. Inspector, may I have this dance?
Inspector Gadget: Oh. Why, sure. Yeah. You betcha. Uh, here. Let's see if I still know how to do this. 
Brenda: Not bad, John Brown.
Sanford Scolex: May I cut in? Hello. Sanford Scolex. We were at Harvard together.
Brenda: We were?
Sanford Scolex: Oh, you don't recognize me. That's because I've changed. I was obese. [Chuckles] Maybe you remember me better like this.
Brenda: [Gasps] Yes! [Scolex Laughs] Wow! Well, it's nice to see you again.
Inspector Gadget: Here you go.
Brenda: You look... different. 
Inspector Gadget: [Coughs] Well, I'll go get us some champagne.
Sanford Scolex: Oh, great idea! Three flutes of bubbly, please, Mr. Gizmo. [Chuckles] We'll be right here. You know, Brenda, I'm not at all surprised you've become such a renowned scientist. You were always the most brilliant one in school. 
Brenda: [Chuckles] No, I was a hard worker. 
Sanford Scolex: Oh, I remember. I used to watch the way you wrinkled your little nose, concentrating on calculations. 
Brenda: You did? 
Sanford Scolex: Mmm. You took my breath away. 
Brenda: I... did. 
Sanford Scolex: Brenda, dance with me. You remind me of a thing
Godzilla once said.
- [Whooping] 
Sanford Scolex: Tell me, Brenda, what will you do now that the Gadget programme is completed?You're done with the Gadget thing. Come and join me at Scolex Industries. 
Woman: We'll be right here. 
Inspector Gadget: Ahem. I could only carry two glasses. 
Sanford Scolex: Oh. A bientot, ma cherie. [Slurps] Ahh! 
Brenda: John, h-he just offered me a job. He said that I would have unlimited funding, my own lab... and complete control of all my research. 
Inspector Gadget: But what about your other research? The Gadget programme... are you sure you've worked out all the bugs? 
Brenda: Well, um... 
Mayor Wilson: Oh, how touching. The creator and the creation. [Laughs] Excuse me, Inspector, but the press would like to take some photos of us with our boys in blue. Let's go. [Singsong] Photo op. Okay. Come on. 
Chief Quimby: Get ready, boys. Here's the dynamic duo.
Wilson: The camera is your friend.
Photographer: Watch the birdie! Get a big smile!
Inspector Gadget: Chief, if you don't mind my asking, when do I get started on my big case?
Chief Quimby: [Chuckling] Oh, soon enough, Gadget. I have a few assignments for you to cut your teeth on first.
Photographer: Big grin. That's it. Inspector! Over here, please!
Inspector Gadget: I've got to talk to the chief. He's not taking me seriously. 
Gadgetmobile: Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, rookie. Nobody likes a whiner. Now, what are you gonna do about it?
Inspector Gadget: I'm ready to get tough... real tough.
[Cop] Here comes Gadget. Hey, that your new partner, Gadget?
- What you got, a cat burglar?
- A real felon, huh?
- The city's safe now.
- Cat got your tongue?
Inspector Gadget: Inspector Gadget reporting, sir, with the 13th... that's a baker's dozen... kitten I've pulled out of a tree this week. 
Chief Quimby: So?
Inspector Gadget: Permission to speak freely, sir.
Chief Quimby: No. [Kitten Meows] Well, if you're gonna pout.
Inspector Gadget: Thank you, sir. What I want to say is that, while I appreciate cute and fluffy as much as the next officer, I fear that the kitten-rescue patrol is a misuse of my capabilities.
Chief Quimby: Huh. You know, I don't get it, Gadget. Every time you... 
Inspector Gadget: I won't be happy until I've brought the murderers of Artemus Bradford to justice.
Chief Quimby: Ah. And I won't be happy until you're off the force, and being sold, piece by piece, at some garage sale.
Inspector Gadget: I want that case, sir.
Chief Quimby: Well, I'll tell you, the problem is the Bradford case requires real police work, and the fact is, you're not a real police inspector. You are not a real policeman. You are just a publicity stunt that we have to put up with. So, why don't you just about-face... and get out of my office. [Kitten Whimpers]
[Back in the evil lair, Kramer wheels in a robot replica of Gadget.]
Kramer: Okie-dokles, sir. I've pretty much completed Prometheus per your specifications, and, I must say, the likeness is really quite convincing.
Sanford Scolex: Good. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Kramer.
Kramer: Isn't that Dr Brenda Bradford's private data?
Sanford Scolex: Oh, yes. I tapped into her files and stole her research.
Kramer: Why would you do that?
Sanford Scolex: [Imitating Kramer] "Why would you do that? Why would you do that?" 
[He cackles and sighs before pinching Kramer's nose with his claw.]
Kramer: (in pain) Ah. Oh, oh.
Sanford Scolex: Kramer, don't look so nonplussed. (lets go of his nose) Now that Dr Bradford is part of the Scolex team, we share everything... or at least we will. 
Kramer: Oh, well, I think sharing files is a great way to bring the company together. You know, make sure we're all singing off the same song sheet, so to speak. 
Sanford Scolex: Imagine my relief to have your support.
Kramer: Anyway, sir, like I said, without the chip, I don't think... (Scolex shows him his chip) Oh, so you made the chip.
Sikes: Hey, that looks just like the guy we almost killed.
Kramer: Oh, I didn't hear that!
Sanford Scolex: Chips ahoy.
[He inserts the chip into the robot double, activating him.]
Sikes: Wow! 
Kramer: Oh, sweet Lordy.
Sanford Scolex: Good morning, Robogadget. You have just been animated by the most complex computer technology in the world. What are you going to do now?
Robogadget: I'm gonna kick some butt. 
[The henchmen gasp in shock.] 
Sanford Scolex: [Laughing] Very saucy.
Sikes: It looks so real. (Robogadget punches him) Yow!
Kramer: Oh!
Sanford Scolex: [Cackling] Very good, yes! Oh, Robo, nothing can stop us now!
Inspector Gadget: Gotta make my own case. B, B, B, B, B, B, B... Bradford. [Whirring] Go, go, Gadget.. magnifying glass.
Increase magnification. Increase magnification. "Si." Go, go... Spanish translation.
-
[Computerized Voice]
"Si" means "yes."
- I knew it!
[Whirring]
[Meanwhile, Robogadget walks around in public before a little boy runs up to him.]
Little Boy: Inspector Gadget, can I have your autograph?
Robogadget: Got any money?
Little Boy: Uh-uh.
[Robogadget roars and gets out his weapons, scaring the boy and his father. He then approaches the sign of "WELCOME TO RIVERTON" before burning it with a flamethrower.]
Robogadget: Ah! [Laughing evilly]
[Meanwhile, Gadget drives the Gadgetmobile while Penny and Brain jam out to Smash Mouth's "All Star." Penny grabs herself some Skittles.]
Inspector Gadget: So I'll rule out the Spanish. But what else could "Sl"stand for? "Space Invaders"?
Penny: Nah!
Inspector Gadget: "Scuba Instructor"?
Penny: No!
Inspector Gadget: Hey, how about "Super Idiot"? No, that's not it.
Penny: Uncle John... I love you, but I think you have a loose wire.
[Gadget laughs before Penny eventually spots something.]
Penny: Oh, what about that?
Inspector Gadget: "Scolex Industries."
Gadgetmobile: Hello. Finally, there's a detective in the house.
Inspector Gadget: Wait a minute. If Scolex stole the foot, then Scolex murdered Dr... Oh, no! Brenda!
Gadgetmobile: Time to work!
[They arrive at Scolex's building.]
Gadgetmobile: Can you find the Scolex building from here? Or should I call the police?
Inspector Gadget: I am the police.
Penny: Hey, wait. What about me?
Gadgetmobile: You're smarter than he is. Stay in the car. I don't mind baby-sitting you, Penny, but please tell the beagle that that's an armrest, not a chew toy.
[Man On TV] Inspector Gadget apparently has gone berserk in the downtown Riverton area. Eyewitnesses told me that he was laughing... while he maliciously stacked these four cars.
- 
Brenda: What's gone wrong?
Other reports indicate that he's
already caused a major traffic accident,
destroyed private property and set fire
to an elderly man's beard.
Inspector Gadget: Go, go, Gadget... grappling hook.
Brenda: John! What happened? I'll go get Scolex. Maybe he can help.
Inspector Gadget: Brenda, it's not safe here. Scolex is a liar and a thief and... Let's just say he's not a very good guy. Go home! Lock your doors! Stay alive! Whatever happens, I will find you. Oh, too far!
Whoa!
That hurt!
Wowser. I knew it.
You'll pay for this, Scolex.
Go, go... suction shoes.
Brenda: Hello? Hello?
Robo-Brenda: Sandy, is that you? 
[Brenda gasps in shock to see her robotic double.]
Robo-Brenda: Wow! I finally get to meet you.
Brenda: Y...
Robo-Brenda: Sandy built me to your specifications.
Brenda: You're me?
Robo-Brenda: We are like totally twins. You must be Brenda. Sandy was right. I'm you. Only prettier. We probably share brain waves. Are you thinking about gelato right now? 'Cause I am.
Brenda: I gotta go find John.
Robo-Brenda: Don't you wanna hang out?
Brenda: John!
Robo-Brenda: [Laughing] Outside! It's so beautiful! Hey, Brenda, let's hang out, okay? Have some quality girl time.
Gotcha!
- 
Inspector Gadget: Go, go, Gadget... blades. 
Sikes: We have a blader.
Repeat... You can run, but you can't hide. 
Go, go, Gadget... brake!
- 
Sikes: Smile!
- 
Brenda: John! 
Robo-Brenda: (sings) I got a wild wild life!
Brenda: Don't you ever stop?
Robo-Brenda: Oh, this is so much more cool than hanging out in that lab. All Sandy ever wants to talk about is that gross foot. 
Brenda: What foot?
Robo-Brenda: The one he stole and copied to make me. Brenda, I'm programmed to be a cheerleader. Watch! Ready? Okay! (chanting) B-R-E-N-D-A! Brenda! That spells Brenda! [Voice Trails Off]
[She leaps off the building while Brenda takes off.]
Sanford Scolex: Greetings, Inspector. Glad you could drop in.
Inspector Gadget: I owe you one, Scolex.
Sanford Scolex: Oh? 
Inspector Gadget: You blew up me and my Chevette, and I really liked that car.
Sanford Scolex: Well, you crushed my hand, and I really liked that hand, so, go, go...get over it.
Inspector Gadget: I don't know what you're up to, Scolex, but you'll never get away with it.
Sanford Scolex: [Cackling] Oh, how cliche, Inspector. I think somebody's been watching too many Saturday morning cartoons. 
[The four stare at the viewers for a moment.]
Sanford Scolex: Hmm?
Kramer: Huh?
Sykes: Huh?
Sanford Scolex: Unfortunately, Gadget, in the real world, evil quite often prevails. I'm afraid so. Pull him up. 
[Sykes flips the switch to pull Gadget up and Scolex shows a TV screen to Gadget. It shows his robotic doppelganger spinning someone before throwing them.]
Sanford Scolex: Now, look how your replacement is helping people... [Cackling] to cross the street.
Inspector Gadget: Hey. He looks just like me. I don't get it. Why would you do this? 
Kramer: To make teachers!
Sanford Scolex: SHUT UP!!
Kramer: Oh. [Whimpering]
Sanford Scolex: I'll tell you why. To make techno warriors that never get tired, never get hungry... and never say "no." Every army in the world will be made up of my creations. Imagine the confusion, Gadget, huh? Imagine the perks. Comprende? 
Inspector Gadget: Yeah, I comprende. 
Sanford Scolex: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I comprendo. Yo comprendo. Conjugate the verb, for pity's sake. Pull the N.S.A. Chip before he butchers another language. 
Kramer: You're kidding, right? Okay. You see? He's always kidding. I never know. 
Sanford Scolex: This time no. I want to make sure nobody else can develop their own android. Do it, or you'll be building yourself a new head.
Kramer: Oh. 
Sykes: [Chuckles, Grunts] "New head." 
Kramer: Okay, I am not here right now. I am on the beach with dolphins, and, oh, hi, look at this starfish. I don't feel so good. (faints)
Sanford Scolex: I'm sorry, Gadget. Good help is so hard to find these days. Would you mind if I do the honours? Well, here goes. Arrivederci. Ciao, ciao. 
[He removes the chip from Gadget's body, shutting him off.]
Sanford Scolex: Goodbye, Mr. Chip. Dump this idiot in the junkyard.
Sikes: Yes, boss.
Sanford Scolex: [Cackling] Oh, no, not that idiot. This one.
Sikes: [Grunts] Oh, I wish you'd be more specific. There's an awful lot of idiots around here. 
Sanford Scolex: Attention, Robogadget. Destroy the city and have some fun.
Robogadget: Okay, boss. (to a random civilian) You with the beard, come here.
Penny: Hello? John? Anybody home? 
Gadgetmobile: You sit back and enjoy the ride, Penny. I'm driving. Ha-ha. Remember, kids. I'm a professional car, so don't try this at home.
Brenda: Penny, where's your uncle?
Penny: I thought he was with you.
Brenda: [Sighs] This is bad. Come on, Penny. We gotta find him. There's something rotten in Riverton.
[Meanwhile, Robogadget enters the police station. An officer tries to stop him.]
Officer: Where you going, Gadget? The chief is very upset with you. I'm gonna have to arrest you. (Robogadget grabs him) Hey! Get your hands off me! 
[Robogadget bowls the officer towards his fellow cops.]
Officer: [Screaming] Officer down!
[They all get knocked down like pins.]
Robogadget: Strike!
[Quimby is in his office, speaking on the phone.]
Chief Quimby: (on phone) Next time you pay for a Gadget, don't forget the extended warranty. [hears knocking on the door] What?
[Robogadget breaks the window of the door and opens it from the inside.]
Robogadget: Let's talk, Chief. [Clicks]
Chief Quimby: Sure. What do you... What do you want
to talk about? Politics? The Florida Marlins?
[Robogadget burns down the files.]
Chief Quimby: I-I know you're upset about yesterday. That was the job talking. The truth is... I want you... I want you on the Bradford case. In fact, l-I want you to lead the Bradford case. I think...
Cops: Freeze! 
Cop 1: Hold it right there!
Cop 2: Shoot him!
- 
Robogadget: Adios, boys! Whee!
[Robogadget leaps off the building and crashing into police cars.]
Gadgetmobile: Ladies, I don't like the looks of this.
Penny: What would Uncle John be doing here? I mean... Are you sure we picked up the right signal?
Gadgetmobile: Of course I have the right signal. You know I have Lo-Jack on my father's side.
[Meanwhile, people run away from a monstrous shadow. We find that it's actually Robogadget walking on tall legs while roaring.]
Japanese Man: (translated) This is why I left Tokyo!
[He shoots out fire from his hat and roars.]
Gadgetmobile: Uh-oh, I don't like this. See, I know what dogs do when they're nervous.
Brenda: Stop!
Penny: Uncle John!
Brenda: Penny!
[Penny runs into the junkyard and finds John's lifeless body.]
Penny: Uncle John!
Brenda: Penny!
Penny: Uncle John! No! Uncle John! Wake up! 
Brenda: Please, don't tell me. No. The N.S.A. Chip is gone. 
Penny: He doesn't need the chip. He's got the heart. He can do it all by himself. 
[Realizing that he is gone forever, Brenda kisses him last time. before she joined Penny, who is sniffling.]
["Inspector Gadget" Theme Plays]
Brenda: Can't be. John? 
Penny: Uncle John? 
Brenda: John? Can you hear us? 
Penny: He's alive. 
Inspector Gadget: Brenda. Penny? 
Brenda: You're alive. I- It's a miracle. He doesn't need the chip. 
Penny: It's my uncle John, that's what it is. 
[Gadget gets up from the wreckage.] 
Brenda: Whoa. 
Penny: Whoo. [Brain barks and she giggles] 
Gadgetmobile: Way to go, rookie. We'll make a cop out of you yet. 
[Soon, they all get in the Gadgetmobile.] 
Gadgetmobile: Buckle up, kids, and stick some newspaper under that beagle. This engine's only got two speeds: "Fast" and "Whoo, what was that?" 
Inspector Gadget: Where's Scolex? 
Gadgetmobile: I'll find him. You drive. 
Inspector Gadget: Let's see what you can do, Gadgetmobile, 'cause I feel the need... the need for speed. 
[The Gadgetmobile speeds off very fast.] 
Inspector Gadget: Now, if I'm home late, it just means it took a little extra time... to overthrow Scolex's evil empire, okay? 
Penny: Okay! 
[Gadgetmobile stops to drop Penny and Brain off at a house.] 
Gadgetmobile: Later, Penny.
[He drives off.]
Brenda: Left turn! Right turn! [Screams] Where'd they go?
Gadgetmobile: Heads up, baby! Evil dude's limo at 12:00.
Brenda: Left turn!
Inspector Gadget: Got it! Okay, take the wheel.
Brenda: Right!
Inspector Gadget: When I give you the signal, slow down.
Brenda: Okay! [Panting]
Okay. Whoo!
Inspector Gadget: Now!
[Brenda hits the brake, launching Gadget into Scolex's limo.]
Inspector Gadget: Gotcha!
Gadgetmobile: Nice aim, Doc!
Brenda: Thank you. 
Inspector Gadget: You're under arrest for the murder of Artemus Bradford, Scolex.
Sanford Scolex: God, you're irritating.
Inspector Gadget: And you... you're under arrest for impersonating a police officer. [Scolex Chuckling] Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
Sanford Scolex: Get rid of him.
[Robogadget punches Gadget out of the limo, but the inspector holds on to the back of the vehicle.]
Inspector Gadget: You just ran a stop sign. Whoa! Hot, hot, hot, hot. Hot foot. Hot, hot, hot. Oh, whoo! Go, go, Gadget... skis. Go, go, Gadget... snow. Go, go, Gadget... water. Go, go, Gadget... Mommy!
Sanford Scolex: Hmm?
Inspector Gadget: Whoa!
Gadgetmobile: Hey, stretch, pull over. 
Gadgetmobile: Hey, you don't bump the Gadgetmobile. The Gadgetmobile bumps you. 
Robogadget: I'll go get him, boss. Sit tight.
[He gets out to the top of the limo to confront the real Gadget.]
Brenda and Gadgetmobile: Watch out behind you!
Robogadget: We're gonna have some fun.
Gadgetmobile: I'm gonna make you into a compact. Whoo! Time for a bat turn. 
Brenda: Don't lose that limo!
Gadgetmobile: On the case, Doc!
[As Brenda and Gadgetmobile chase after Scolex, the two Gadgets have a Western stand-off while the theme to The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly plays.]
Robogadget: You know how to dance, don't you?
Inspector Gadget: Actually, I was taking lessons not long ago, in the hope that one day l....
Robogadget: Shut up and dance!
[Robogadget gets out machine guns.]
Inspector Gadget: Uh-oh.
[He dodges the oncoming bullets at his feet, even dancing at one point.]
Inspector Gadget: Go, go, Gadget... air bag.
[His coat inflates like an air bag and he flies around. Robogadget shoots and he deflates, flying around. Meanwhile, Scolex and Sikes arrive at the Scolex building and step out of the limo.]
Sanford Scolex: Oh, Sikes, you lost her.
Sykes: I'm gonna try to find her, boss. It's not good, sir.
Gadgetmobile: Let's use the element of surprise. 
[Gadgetmobile crashes into the limo.]
Gadgetmobile: Oh, surprise.
Sanford Scolex: Brenda, what a pleasant surprise. 
[Brenda steps out of the Gadgetmobile as Skittles spill out.]
Sanford Scolex: Brenda, Brenda.
Brenda: You! 
[She punches Scolex and grabs him, only for Scolex to grab her with his claw.]
Brenda: Stop, Claw!
Sanford Scolex: Brenda, Brenda, Brenda. You know, I love it when you call me "Claw." So what's new?
Brenda: Hello... You killed my father!
[Back at the Gadget fight, the two fight at the top of the bridge. Robogadget uses his arm blades to cut off a couple of Gadget's gadgets. Just then, Gadget receives a watch call.]
Inspector Gadget: Time.
[They stop and he answers his watch.]
Inspector Gadget: Gadget here.
Gadgetmobile: It's about Brenda, partner.
Inspector Gadget: Yeah?
Gadgetmobile: Scolex is taking her to the roof. I'd save her, but I can't fit in the elevator.
Inspector Gadget: I'm on my way. (to Robogadget) You know what they say about nice guys finishing last?
Robogadget: Huh?
Inspector Gadget: Well, they were wrong. Go, go, Gadget... oil slick.
[He sprays Robogadget with toothpaste.]
Robogadget: Toothpaste? Whaa! 
[They continue their fight. Meanwhile, Penny and Brain arrive at the building by bus.] 
Penny: What happened to you?
Gadgetmobile: Let me put it this way. I got the Skittles kicked out of me.
Penny: I'll be right back.
Gadgetmobile: Oh. Penny, why are you here?
Penny: Evidence!
[Back at the Gadget fight, Gadget nearly falls but grabs onto Robogadget's tie.]
Robogadget: Hey, Gadget. It's a clip-on. 
[His tie clips off and Gadget falls but takes his robot double with him. Then, he hangs on from the bridge while Robogadget hangs to his pants, lowering them to show his underwear. Back with Penny and Brain, they slide out of a vent inside the Scolex building.]
Penny: Okay, Brain. No, no, no, Brain, you go that way. I'll go this way.
[Sykes is seen trying to flush the robotic foot into the toilet.]
Sykes: I gotta destroy the evidence. Why couldn't it be a finger? I could be working at my dad's store right now... selling nails, hammers, and power drills. Yes! Power drills rock! Get in there! 
[He stops to see Penny staring at him.]
Sykes: Well, who are you?
Penny: Whoa, there, big boy. Um, hi, there. 
Sykes: Hello. 
Penny: Why's that foot in the toilet?
Sykes: I was, uh, cleaning it.
Penny: So what's your name?
Sykes: Uh, I'm Sikes. 
Penny: You know, Sikes, you look more like the kind of guy who should be, um... uh... helping someone pick out good weather stripping.
Sykes: My old man had a hardware store. 
[As the two Gadgets hang on the bridge, we hear a phone ringing.] 
Robogadget: Telephone!
Inspector Gadget: It's mine. 
[As Gadget answers the phone, a tarantula comes out of Robogadget's mouth.]
Inspector Gadget: (on phone) Hello?
Nicole and Kim: (on phone) Hi, Mr. Gadget.
Inspector Gadget: (on phone) Nicole and Kim, how'd you get the number of my hand?
Nicole and Kim: (on phone) From Penny. Is she there?
Inspector Gadget: (on phone) Penny isn't here right now, but you can call her at home, okay?
Nicole and Kim: (on phone) She's not home, but we'll try her again.
Inspector Gadget: (on phone) Okay, bye.
Nicole and Kim: (on phone) Bye.
Inspector Gadget: (hangs up) What do they mean, she's not at home?
[He notices a tarantula crawling up on him and he screams, letting go. The two Gadgets fall into shopping carts, riding down the bridge.]
Robogadget: Whee, whee!
Inspector Gadget: Oh! Oh, no! Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh! 
[Their carts hit a truck and they fly off. Meanwhile, Scolex takes Brenda to an elevator.]
Brenda: I don't get it, Claw. What's your plan now?
Sanford Scolex: Since my dreams for a global robotic empire...
[Brain runs in and bites his pants.]
Sanford Scolex: Mongrel! (Brain takes his underwear) My pants! Oh, God! Mongrel.
[Scolex and Brenda enter the elevator. Cut back to Penny and Sikes.]
Sikes: Next thing you know... Next thing you know, you're a minion. [Sobbing] You're a minion. I'm a minion. 
[Penny comforts Sikes. Back in the Gadget fight, Robogadget bonks Gadget over and over with mallets. Finally, Gadget removes the mallets and grabs his robot imposter in a chokehold. He notices a cord with a note saying, "DO NOT PULL."]
Robogadget: Ooh! Oh! Ow, ow! Uncle. Hey, hey, don't touch that.
[Gadget pulls the cord, causing Robogadget's head to fall off. His headless body runs aimlessly while Gadget picks up his opponent's head.]
Robogadget: Hey. Hey, what'd you do that for? We shouldn't be fighting. We've got a lot in common, except I've got nicer teeth. I'd hoped that we could've worked together, been partners. Together, you and I could've... [Imitating British Accent] R-r-ruled the world.
Inspector Gadget: You should've quit while you were "ahead." 
[He throws the head over the bridge...]
Robogadget: Cannonball! [Laughing]
[...and into the river. Gadget then notices his pants are down]
Women: Ooh! Ooh-la-la! [Whooping]
[Gadget quickly pulls his pants up.]
Inspector Gadget: Go, go, Gadget... chopper.
[A pair of chopper blades and a handlebar pop up from his hat.]
Inspector Gadget: Contact.
[He starts to fly, although he has trouble piloting.]
Inspector Gadget: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-oa! How do ya... whoa... fly this thing? Oh! Oh, no! Go, go back. Up, up, up, up. Good, good, good, good. Oh, bad, bad, bad.
Sanford Scolex: My hair! Sit back and relax, darling. [Clicks Tongue]
[As the helicopter lifts off, Gadget is still trying to fly through the city.]
Inspector Gadget: Whoa! Hey! I can see my house from here. Whoa!
Brenda: Two things, Scolex! One: You are completely insane. And two: I liked you better fat.
[Scolex gasps while his cat meows and hides under the seat.]
Sanford Scolex: Bring on the brownies! Hah! Wheel in the waffles! I'm ready to binge! [Laughing]
[Just then, Gadget arrives at the roof.]
Sanford Scolex: Darn! That fellow will not give us a break!
Inspector Gadget: For the third time... Sanford Scolex, you are under arrest!
[Scolex clicks a button to launch a missile at Gadget.]
Brenda: No!
[The missile destroys Gadget's copter, sending the inspector on the surface of the roof.
Sanford Scolex: Go, go, go, go, go, go, Gadget! [Cackling]
[He pilots the helicopter towards Gadget.]
Brenda: John! 
Inspector Gadget: Oh, no!
[He jumps down, only for the copter to grab him by the coat.]
Sanford Scolex: Let me give you a lift. [Cackling] Where can I drop you off? 
Inspector Gadget: I'd answer, but I doubt you really care.
Brenda: John! I'm up here! Take my hand!
Sanford Scolex: Hi, John. How are you doing down there?
Brenda: John!
Sanford Scolex: [Imitating Brenda] "John!"
Brenda: John, I know you can save us! Think of something!
Inspector Gadget: I'm working on it.
Brenda: Hurry! [Grunting]
Guru: Try to visualize your goal. 
Sanford Scolex: Back to the drawing board!
[Brenda beats Scolex up.]
Gadget: Brenda, jump! Right on my back!
Sanford Scolex: Oh, Brenda, don't jump. For God's sake, we can work this out, darling. Sweetie pie, really! 
[Brenda jumps off and lands on top of Gadget.]
Sanford Scolex: My God. Me... I'm out of control.
[Then, Gadget slips off the helicopter and he and Brenda start to fall.]
Inspector Gadget: Go, go, Gadget... air brakes. Go, go, Gadget... aeroplane. I don't know what to go, go anymore!
Brenda: Didn't you read the manual? Try something else!
Inspector Gadget: Go, go, Gadget... glider. Go, go, Gadget... balloon. Go, go, Gadget... parachute. Go, go, Gadget... giant trampoline. Go, go, Gadget... circus net. Go, go, Gadget... featherbed. Go, go, Gadget... hay wagon. Go, go, Gadget... bubble wrap. Go, go, Gadget... parasail. Parakeet. Paraglider. Parasol.
[Finally, an umbrella sprouts out from Gadget's hat. They start floating down safely.]
Inspector Gadget: Umbrella?
Brenda: John, you did it. (kisses him) You saved our lives.
Gadget: I did? I guess I did. Wowser!
Brenda: Just watch out for the big head.
Gadget: Understood. You know, arrogance can sneak up on you.
Brenda: No, that big head!
[They bump into Scolex's statue and drop into the water fountain. Gadget releases his parachute while the statue falls down, breaking the head off.]
Brenda: John! Are you okay? Gadget.
Inspector Gadget: Oh, hello, Brenda.
Brenda: Are you breathing?
Inspector Gadget: I think so. 
Brenda: How's your central vallecular equilibrator feeling?
Inspector Gadget: It feels pretty good.
Brenda: And how's your auto-axle lubricator functioning? 
Inspector Gadget: It's functioning fully.
Brenda: Oh, Gadget.
Inspector Gadget: What is it? Is my occipital piston slipping?
Brenda: No. I just never realized...what beautiful brown eyes you have. 
[They both kiss under the parachute. They then spot Scolex and his cat parachuting down while Gadgetmobile drives up from under.]
Gadgetmobile: It's a high-fly Scolex. The Gadgetmobile pulls under it. The crowd's going crazy. (they land in the Gadgetmobile] He makes the catch!
- 
Sanford Scolex: We made it!
[A punching glove pops out of the glove compartment and punches him before a cage forms above Scolex and his cat.]
Gadgetmobile: Ladies and gentlemen, Scolex is out and that is the game! Final score: Gadgetmobile... one, Scolex... zippo. 
[The police arrive at the scene.]
Gadgetmobile: And the fans rush the field. [Chuckles] No autographs, please. Please, y'all, come on, now.
Cop: Freeze! Get back!
Sanford Scolex: Gentlemen, there's been some kind of a mistake.
Penny: Chief!
Chief Quimby: Oh, sorry, kiddo. I'm gonna have to place your uncle under arrest.
Cop 1: Freeze!
Cop 2: Don't move, Gadget!
Penny: Well, I just thought you'd wanna know that Sanford Scolex created an evil version of my uncle to terrorize Riverton.
Chief Quimby: Is that true?
Sikes: Every word of it. She's an amazing young woman. She held up a mirror to my misguided ways in the service of Mr. Scolex. (cries) I'm sorry, Chief. (hands him the foot) Here's the foot. I didn't know any better.
Sanford Scolex: Et tu, Sikes?
Chief Quimby: Cover him, men!
[The cops point their guns at Scolex.]
Gadgetmobile: They're all yours, fellas.
Chief Quimby: Wowser.
[He salutes Gadget, who salutes him back.]
Mayor Wilson: Excuse me! Press! Excuse me! Mayor on the premises. The shepherd needs her sheep. Yes, it is a credit to myself and my administration... that we had the courage to believe in and initiate the Gadget programme. 
Sanford Scolex: Arrivederci, Gadget! This is not goodbye. I'll get you next time, Gadget. I'll get you.
Inspector Gadget: Wowser.
Gadgetmobile: A happy ending. What could be better than true love? (a car drives by) Ooh, cute little bug. Wait up, fraulein. [Honking] Did you know I speak German? (drives after the car) Fahrvergnugen, baby.
[Fade to black. As the credits roll, we see various scenes play out. First, Robo-Brenda is now back, doing aerobics as a teacher.]
Robo-Brenda: Hello, and welcome to Robobrendaerobics, where I'll be your host, Robobrenda. Follow me. It's gonna be fast. (performs aerobics very fast) And kick, and kick, and kick... And kick, and kick, and kick, and fall.
[She then falls. Then, we see RoboGadget's headless body running around before bumping into the camera. We then cut to Sikes speaking at a minion recovery group.]
Sikes: Hi. My name is Sikes.
Assorted Minions: Hi, Sikes. 
Sikes: And I'm a minion. But it's been 30 days since I last kissed up to anyone!
[The minions all cheer for Sikes. Then, we cut to Penny testing out a high-tech watch.]
Penny: This is the coolest watch. It's a radio, a computer, even a phone. Testing, testing. Brain, say something. Come in. Over.
Brain: [in Don Adams' Voice] Brain is not here. Please leave a message at the sound of the woof. Woof!
[During the credits, Gadgetmobile speaks to the audience.]
Gadgetmobile: Hey, thanks for watching my movie. Yeah, my movie. Even though we called it Inspector Gadget. I know you all are wondering... things with the Volkswagen are working out real good. We got married in Las Vegas in a drive-through chapel. We're expecting a little subcompact any day now. Thinking of calling him "The Love Bug," which is in no way a plug for my employer, the Walt Disney Company. Although when our little one is old enough, his first words will be..."I'm going to Disneyland!" But don't any of you leave for theme parks just yet. All these fine people in the credits made me look good.
[After the credits, Gadgetmobile speaks one last time.]
Gadgetmobile: Wow, you made it through credits, and we didn't offer you anything for free. Movie audiences are the best audiences in the world. Now, get out, go home. Leave, vamoose. You got to go. I am tired. Please, go home. Go home, go home, go home. Good night, Riverton!
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