Transcripts/Hard to Say Anything

:Sweetie Belle: Hey, Apple Bloom! Rarity's reorganizing her shop, and look what she found! Old costumes from the talent show!
:Scootaloo: We thought they'd come in handy in case we ever help a pony put on a play or need to make a quick escape disguised as clowns.
:Apple Bloom: Here ya go, Big Mac.
:Scootaloo: Whoa, that sure is a lot of apples!
:Apple Bloom: Are you makin' another delivery to Starlight's old village?
:Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
:Sweetie Belle: That's an awful long way for a pony to go, isn't it?
:Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
:Apple Bloom: You've been goin' there a lot lately. What is this, your fifth trip this week?
:Big McIntosh: [laughs nervously] Eeyup.
:Apple Bloom: Okay, well, have fun. So what other costumes did you bring, Sweetie Belle?
:Scootaloo: Are you crazy?! We can't talk about costumes at a time like this!
:Apple Bloom: Time like what?
:Scootaloo: Your brother is hiding something. Did you see the way he was acting?
:Sweetie Belle: Yeah. He totally blushed when you brought up how often he's been going to Starlight's old village.
:Scootaloo: Something is definitely going on. There can be only be one reason a pony would travel so far, so often.
:Scootaloo:
:He's taking private skiing lessons!	
:Sweetie Belle:
:He's training for a marathon!	
:Apple Bloom:
:I've been cooking a lot of broccoli...
:Apple Bloom: ...and he wants to get away from the smell!
:Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
:
:Scootaloo: Maybe he's a spy on a mission to thwart an evil villain with a secret weapon: an apple cannon!
:Apple Bloom: No, that's crazy! I think it's my broccoli thing.
:Sweetie Belle: Why don't we just ask him?
:Scootaloo: You saw how shifty he was acting earlier. There's no way he'll tell us what he's doing. Plus, I really wanna go undercover. We already have costumes! Call me "Agent Rainbowhead".
:Sweetie Belle: I'll be "Shimmering Spectacles", a librarian with a mysterious past.
:Apple Bloom: And I'll be a pirate spy! Arrrgh! A spy-rate!
:[record scratching]
:Apple Bloom: [gasps] Avast! Our ship be leavin' port!
:Scootaloo: Huh?
:Apple Bloom: Big Mac's leavin'! If we're gonna be spies, we gotta go! Now!
:Big McIntosh: [whistling]
:Apple Bloom: Big Mac's a-comin'! Quick! Act like apples!
:Sweetie Belle: What? How?
:[romantic music]
:Sweetie Belle: Who's that pony?
:Scootaloo: Let me see! I dunno. Shouldn't have taken the binoculars. I don't know anypony here.
:Apple Bloom: That must be Sugar Belle. Applejack told me about her bakery. Obviously, she's just been orderin' a lot of apples.
:[door opens]
:Sweetie Belle: So nothing fishy's going on.
:Scootaloo: No way! We came here to be spies! And no spy I know has ever solved a case that quick!
:Sweetie Belle: Mmm, how many spies do you know?
:Scootaloo: That's... not important. What's important is that we do more recon. Follow my lead!
:Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Mm.
:[spy music]
:Apple Bloom: Whoa. She sure likes her apples.
:Sweetie Belle: What is she doing? Making the biggest apple pie in Equestria?
:Sugar Belle: Thanks for coming all this way, Big Mac.
:Big McIntosh: Pfft! [whinnying laugh]
:Sugar Belle: It sure is nice seeing you again so soon.
:Big McIntosh: Eeyup. [giggles]
:Sugar Belle: All I used to bake were boring old muffins, but thanks to your apple deliveries, I get to bake all kinds of delicious treats! Apple pies, apple fritters, apple turnovers, caramel apples, caramel apple cakes... [sighs] I just wish I had more room to display it all. My shelves only hold so much.
:Apple Bloom: I'm tellin' you, this pony reeeeaaally likes her apples.
:Sweetie Belle: [gasps] Or Big Mac!
:Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Huh?
:Sweetie Belle: Just look!
:Sugar Belle: Ooh! Uh... [giggles]
:Big McIntosh: Oh, I... [giggles]
:Apple Bloom: Sweetie Belle, I-I think you're right! [loudly] I think my brother has a crush!
:Sweetie Belle: Shh!
:[door opens]
:Apple Bloom: Psst! Big Mac! [to the Crusaders] Now remember, my brother's super shy, so he's probably gonna be embarrassed about his crush. Just try and make him feel comfortable. Hey, Big Mac, it's me! Apple Bloom!
:Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
:Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo: We're here, too!
:Big McIntosh: Mm-hmm.
:Apple Bloom: I'm gonna ask you a very personal question, and I want you to answer honestly. Do you... have a crush on... Sugar Belle?
:Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
:Scootaloo: Well, that was easy.
:Apple Bloom: This is so excitin'! My big brother has his very first crush!
:Scootaloo: First crush? What about Cheerilee?
:Sweetie Belle: It doesn't really count when you trick a pony into drinking a love potion, does it?
:Big McIntosh: [angrily] Nnope!
:Apple Bloom: [singsongy] My brother has a crush! My brother has a crush! My brother has a crush! [normally] Wait! Does Sugar Belle even know you like her?
:Big McIntosh: Uh-uh.
:Apple Bloom: Then you gotta tell her!
:Big McIntosh: O-Oh... eh... ehhhh...
:Sweetie Belle: We're pretty sure she likes you! I mean, she keeps ordering apples just so she can see you again.
:Big McIntosh: Eeeyou think so?
:Scootaloo: Totally! But you'll never know if you don't try.
:Big McIntosh: Okay!
:Scootaloo: Go get her, Big Mac!
:Big McIntosh: [deep breath]
:[knocking]
:[romantic music]
:Feather Bangs: [California accent] Hey, girl. Heh-heh. I was writin' poetry by the pond when I saw these flowers. I thought I'd show them how pretty you are.
:Sugar Belle: Oh! Heh. Thanks, Feather Bangs.
:Big McIntosh: [sad snort]
:Scootaloo: Um, is it possible to have two crushes at once? Because it looks like Big Mac may not be the only pony Sugar Belle likes.
:Apple Bloom: Hey, Big Mac! Where ya goin'?
:Big McIntosh: Home!
:Sweetie Belle: You can't let that Feather fella get in the way of your one true love!
:Scootaloo: You've gotta take him down!
:Apple Bloom: What can he do that you can't?
:Big McIntosh: That!
:Feather Bangs: Whoops! Heh-heh. These balls are like you. I'll always catch you if you fall.
:Swooning Ponies: [swoon]
:Scootaloo: Seriously? That line worked?
:Big McIntosh: She'll never pick me.
:Apple Bloom: Sure she will, 'cause we're gonna help you.
:Big McIntosh: No love potions!
:Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laugh]
:Apple Bloom: Don't worry, Big Mac. We learned our lesson the hard way.
:Scootaloo: Yeah. We're never gonna do that again.
:Sweetie Belle: Besides, I know exactly what to do! When I was younger, I read all the fairy tales.
:Scootaloo: When you were "younger", huh?
:Sweetie Belle: Well, I was younger on the way here!
:[beat]
:Sweetie Belle: It was a long ride! Anyway, as long as we do what the book says, you're pretty much guaranteed a happy ending. Uh, how about this one? "Rescuing a damsel-pony-in-distress." That's perfect! Of course, we'll have to improvise without a dragon.
:Apple Bloom: Huh. Too bad Spike isn't here. Not that he's very threatening.
:Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
:Scootaloo: So what should we do? Wait around for Sugar Belle to get herself into a scary situation?
:Apple Bloom: Or... we bring the danger to her.
:Big McIntosh: [gulps]
:Apple Bloom: All right. Scootaloo's gonna pretend to take Sugar Belle's things, then you swoop in and stop her. Ready?
:[beat]
:Big McIntosh: Nnope.
:Sweetie Belle: Come on! You're gonna be her hero! In fairy tales, the knight in shining armor always gets the girl.
:Big McIntosh: Hmmm... Mm-hmm.
:Sugar Belle: Oh! Somepony, help!
:[screeching]
:[slow motion sounds]
:Feather Bangs: Here's your sugar, Sugar. Though it is not as sweet... [chuckling] ...as you.
:Swooning Ponies: [swoon]
:Sugar Belle: [sighs] Thank you, Feather!
:Apple Bloom: That smooth-talkin' pony stole our rescue! And it totally would've worked!
:Big McIntosh: [angry] Eeyup.
:Sweetie Belle: We're just gonna have to keep trying! Big Mac, are you ready to take it up a notch?
:Big McIntosh: Oh, yup!
:Big McIntosh: Oh, nope.
:Sweetie Belle: Trust us! There's nothing more romantic than waking your special pony from a sleeping spell with a magical kiss! See? "They rode off into the sunset."
:Cutie Mark Crusaders: [sigh]
:Apple Bloom: Any sign of Feather Bangs?
:Scootaloo: Negative! Coast is clear!
:Apple Bloom: It's now or never, Big Mac!
:Big McIntosh: [gulps, nervous sounds, puckering]
:Sugar Belle: [gasps]
:Feather Bangs: Oh-ho-ho, girl, you been workin' hard all day. Allow me to treat you like the princess... [chuckling] ...you are.
:Big McIntosh: [nickers]
:Swooning Ponies: [swoon]
:Sweetie Belle: Hey! That's our metaphorical sunset they're riding off into!
:Scootaloo: All right! This ends now! Feather Bangs may have good timing, and... a good mane... uh, but let's see him compete with a song!
:Big McIntosh: S-Say what now?
:Apple Bloom: Of course! Why didn't we think of it before?
:Sweetie Belle: Every great love story hinges on the romantic musical number. Big Mac, you've gotta write a song for Sugar Belle!
:Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
:[hoofbump]
:Apple Bloom: Come on, Big Mac!
:"Swoon Song": [Valley girl accent] Feather Bangs is soooo romantic.
:"Fond Feather": [Valley girl accent] When he speaks, I pretend he's talking to me.
:Big McIntosh: [sighs]
:Apple Bloom: Come on! You can do better than him! Just like we practiced!
:Big McIntosh: [gulps]
:[crash!]
:[splat]
:Sugar Belle: What in Equestria has gotten into you two?! If you think I'm the kind of pony that likes all this nonsense, then you clearly don't know me at all! I wish everypony would just... leave me alone!
:Feather Bangs: [whimper]
:[splat]
:Apple Bloom: Big Mac? Oh, Big Mac?!
:Scootaloo: Well, nopony's seen him.
:Apple Bloom: Aw, I feel terrible. I've never seen my brother so upset before. Oh, Big Mac?! Big Mac!
:Sweetie Belle: Are you okay?
:Big McIntosh: Nnope.
:Apple Bloom: Sorry it didn't work out with Sugar Belle.
:Sweetie Belle: We don't get it. Big, grand gestures always work in the fairy tales.
:Big McIntosh: But Sugar Belle's not a fairy tale princess. She's a real pony. She's kind, and she works hard, and she's sweeter than everything in her bakery.
:Apple Bloom: That's it! We shoulda been thinking about what would mean a lot to Sugar Belle!
:Big McIntosh: Hmmm... [gasps] I know just the thing! But I'm gonna need your help!
:Apple Bloom: Really? Even after we messed it up?
:Big McIntosh: Eeyup. Come on!
:[spy music]
:Scootaloo: [fake voice] Hello! My name's Shimmering Spectacles, and I'm a librarian with a mysterious past. [chuckles]
:Sugar Belle: Oh, okay. I'm... Wait a minute. You look familiar.
:Scootaloo: [fake voice] I shouldn't. Um, uh, I'm new in town. Mind showing me around?
:Sugar Belle: Uh, sure. That's the whole town. It's just the one street.
:Scootaloo: [fake voice] Oh, no! Clumsy me! Here, let me help you clean it up!
:Sweetie Belle: I don't think Scootaloo can hold her off much longer.
:[construction noises]
:Scootaloo: [fake voice] Uh, n-now hold on a minute. Are you sure I can't buy you a new bag?
:Sugar Belle: I'm good. It's no big deal.
:Scootaloo: [fake voice] But, u-um, umm... [gulps]
:Sugar Belle: Okay, what's going on?
:[door opens]
:Scootaloo: [normal voice] Ahhh! The cupcake has landed! Repeat – the cupcake has landed! Oof!
:Sugar Belle: Big Mac! You made me a new display case?
:Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
:Sugar Belle: And you made it bigger! You remembered! [gasps] Now I have twice as much room for all my desserts! [gasps] Which means... I can make even more! I've been dying to try baking cream pies and whoopie pies and icebox cakes and, of course, more apple treats! Oh, Big Mac, thank you so much. This is the sweetest thing anypony's ever done for me.
:Big McIntosh: [chuckles] Uh, y-y-yeah or-or nope or...
:Sugar Belle: [giggles] I like you, too.
:Big McIntosh: [sighs]
:Cutie Mark Crusaders: Awwwww!
:Apple Bloom: That was the most romantic thing ever!
:Sugar Belle: Wait a minute. I recognize you fillies. [to Big Mac] Have they been with you this whole time?
:Big McIntosh: Ee—
:Apple Bloom: I'm Big Mac's little sister, and these are my friends. We're sorry for everything we put you through today, Sugar Belle. Big Mac never would've gone through with all of those crazy...
:Sweetie Belle: ...over-the-top...
:Scootaloo: ...downright ridiculous...
:Apple Bloom: ...attempts to impress you if we hadn't put him up to it. But we learned our lesson. Romance isn't about impressin' somepony. It's about doin' somethin' that means somethin' special to that pony you love— Heh... [clears throat] like a lot.
:Sweetie Belle: Uh, Apple Bloom, I think they get it.
:Sugar Belle and Big McIntosh: [chuckling]
:Feather Bangs: [singing] Sugar Be-eee-eee-elle...! [vocalizing] Yeah.
:Scootaloo: Sorry, Feather. You're a little too late.
:Apple Bloom: Yeah! Sugar Belle's already picked her special somepony!
:Sweetie Belle: But don't worry. You've got three not-so-secret admirers right behind you!
:Swooning Ponies: [swoon]
:Feather Bangs: [nervous laugh] What should I say to them?
:Apple Bloom: Uh, you're askin' us for advice?
:Feather Bangs: Uh-huh. Look, I-I can mane flip, write poetry, and juggle, but actually talkin' to a pony? Oh, it scares me almost as much as loneliness. Will you help me? Please?
:Apple Bloom: Gee, I don't know about this.
:Scootaloo: He just needs a little nudge in the conversation department. Besides, I don't think Big Mac's ready to leave just yet.
:Sweetie Belle: Let's do it!
:Apple Bloom: Feather Bangs, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are...
:Cutie Mark Crusaders: ...at your service! [laugh]
:Feather Bangs: [laughs]
:[credits]