Transcripts 2005-11

Transcripts from November 2005 strips.
==November 1==
Panel 1Nathan sits in the passenger seat of Red's car, pulling his "shirt" collar forward and looking down.Nathan: Can we stop at a clothes shop first? I look like I'm an escaped nutter in this hospital robe! It's rather... draughty too! Can I have the heater on?Panel 2View of Red from the side as she drives, rolling her eyes.Red: Don't complain! You turned down those clothes I got you!Panel 3Top view of Red's car as they drive down a street.Nathan: I'm sorry, but I'm NOT going to wear stuff stolen from the MORGUE!Red: Why not? It's not like the owners care any more!
==November 2==
Panel 1Kingston is asleep on the couch, hat brim covering his face.Caption: MEANWHILEKingston: ZZz*Kingston: !Panel 2Kingston sits up, facing the camera with dull surprise.Kingston (thinking): Whoa! I suddenly have this feeling of an imminent, astrological convergence of such a magnitude that it will affect us all!Panel 3Kingston winces as he lets out a FART!Panel 4Kingston pulls his hat brim down, smirking.Kingston (thinking): Or it might be that I ate too much Mexican for lunch!
==November 3==
Panel 1Red is leaning next to a dressing room with her arms crossed, one leg lifted with her foot resting on the wall as she looks toward the dressing room. Nathan's feet are barely visible below the curtain.Red: Aren't you done yet Nathan?Panel 2Nathan is facing away from the camera, holding up a shirt. He is wearing black bikini briefs with his tail over the waistband of the briefs.Nathan: Hold on!Nathan: You try dressing with a cracked rib!Panel 3Red is facing the camera while holding the curtain back with one finger to peek behind it.Red: Mmmm, okay, five more minutes!Panel 4Red looks over her shoulder as she turns away with a smirk. A "20%" sign is on the back wall above some racks of clothes.Red (thinking): I'm still not sure why I'm helping him, but somehow I feel better knowing that I'm helping someone with a cute backside!
==November 4==
Panel 1Silhouette of Gary and Norman speeding along in Gary's "modded" car, now missing the roof entirely.Norman: Are you ever going to get a new roof Gary? I mean HOW long ago was that weird zombie thing?Panel 2Close-up of Gary leaning over the steering wheel, wearing aviator goggles and grinning.Gary: Why? I thought you liked the open top!Panel 3Close-up of Norman, wearing safety goggles, a scowl, and the smashed corpses of many bugs.Norman: Let's say the novelty is wearing off!
==November 7==
Panel 1Red and Nathan stand outside 101 Mizeray Street and "admire" the view.Red: Well, here we are!Nathan: Hummm...Panel 2Nathan and Red are facing the camera, though Red has turned toward Nathan slightly. Nathan is sneering but his eyes are hidden behind his glasses.Red: Now I know what you're thinking. If I know anything about the owner then the inside is a lot better then the outside.Panel 3Nathan has tilted his head and has his hands outstretched, as though pushing on something. Red looks at the house in astonishment as Nathan speaks.Nathan: Actually, I was thinking about how it's possible to build something this ugly! It's as if they didn't build it, but bashed a house like shape out of a pile of bricks!
==November 8==
Panel 1Red and Nathan are at the front door of the house. Red rings the doorbell.Red: Okay, let me do the talking Nathan!Red: I'm not overly sure how he's going to react to seeing me here, so try not to spook him.Panel 2Richard looks out the front door in bewilderment as Red cringes and Nathan goes into shock, his glasses popping up, his eyes bulging, and his fur bristling.Richard: ... Red?Red: Um, hi Richard. Normally I wouldn't just turn up like this but...Nathan: !Panel 3Richard and Red look over the side of the porch wall, startled.Richard: Normally the first question I would ask is why you're here, but I think I'll ask why you friend just screamed and jumped off the pulpit into my cellar space?Red: Yeah, sorry about him. He's had a rough day!
==November 9==
The Church of Poisoned Minds
Panel 1Black-and-white monochrome comic. Al is wearing a proper shirt and tie and sitting in a "news anchor" setting, holding up a sheet of paper. The Poisoned Minds logo is in the lower left, with "News" beneath it. A small photo of Ian Blair is to the left of Al. Caption (Al): Today the controversial bill to extend the time period someone can be held without charge from 14 to 90 days will be voted on in the House of Commons. This is after Metropolitan Police chief, Sir Ian Blair said...Chyron: Scientists descover muffins are tasty!Panel 2Same as panel 1 but the photo of Blair is gone, and Al has put down the sheet of paper and is now making "spooky ghost" gestures.Caption (Al): "Wooooo! WOOOOOOOO! Terrorists are going to GET YOU! WOOOOO! We've got CHILLING EVIDENCE of TERRORISTS! Give us 90 days or EVERYONE WILL DIE! WOOOooo!"Chyron: Ticker typist quits live on air.Panel 3Al is now resting a hand and an elbow on the desk, smiling into the camera.Caption (Al) Sir Ian denies entering the political arena. The fact he made this statement the day before the commons vote was just a complete coincidence! It wasn't at all geared to scare Labour rebels into voting for something that'll make the police look less incompetent! Nope, not at all!Chyron: Bollocks to the lot of you!
==November 10==
Panel 1The camera is looking up at Richard and Red, who are peering over the edge of the porch wall.Richard: Are you alright down there mate?Nathan (off-panel): Ow! Yes! ... I think.Panel 2Side view of Richard, looking resigned.Richard: *Sigh* I guess we need a doctor to check you out.Panel 3Over-the-shoulder shot of Richard, side-eyeing a nervous-looking Red.Richard: Should I call for one, or can I trust the one here not to try to remove my tonsils with her tongue again?
==November 11==
Panel 1The cellar space of the house. Richard is standing in the doorway to the cellar, while Red is helping a wincing Nathan stand. An old mattress is on the ground, and several boxes litter the area.Richard: It's a good job that I never got around to getting rid of that old mattress. You could have cracked you head open... again!Panel 2Nathan follows Richard into the cellar/laundry room. Richard is strolling with his hands in his pockets, looking over his shoulder at Nathan, who puts his glasses back on. Only Red's muzzle is visible behind Nathan (off-panel to the right).Nathan: Heh... anyway I'm looking for a place to stay for awhile...Richard: Yeah? Well you'll have to join the queue! All my places are full!Panel 3Close-up of Richard turning and grinning at Nathan.Nathan: I can pay the first six months in advance and in cash!Richard: HOWEVER I'm sure there's someone late on their rent that I can evict!
==November 14==
Panel 1Richard is side-eyeing Nathan, who nervously rubs the back of his own neck.Richard: By the way, what made you so jumpy back there?Nathan: Oh nothing. You're the spitting image of someone I'm trying to avoid and you startled me!Panel 2Richard points at Nathan and gives him an angry look.Richard: You're not in any kind of trouble are you? I'd better not get a call from the police, because I hate dealing with those wankers!Nathan: No, I'm not wanted by the police.Richard: Good! Keep it that way!Panel 3Close-up of Nathan looking away and gritting his teeth.Nathan (thinking): Well that's technically true. Out of all the security forces now after me, the police would be kept in the dark!
==November 15==
Panel 1Richard looks at Nathan while pointing upwards.Richard: There won't be a property free for a few weeks, so do you want to crash in the guest room for awhile?Nathan: Yes please if its not too much trouble.Panel 2Richard walks ahead of Nathan, back to the camera as he stops at the base of a staircase, pointing forward (relative to himself).Richard: No trouble. I'll go and make the room up for you.Richard: The living room is through there. Make yourself at home!Panel 3Richard looks back over his shoulder.Richard: Oh and I apologise for the smell in there.Richard: His name is Kingston. Feel free to kick him out into the garden if it's too much for you!
==November 16==
Sticky the Stick Man
HeaderSticky the Stick Man ©2005 Donut Steel Alan ForemanPanel 1Line art comic. Sticky waves at the camera and smiles. In the background is a very simple hill with a very simple house at the top, smoke coming out of the chimney.Caption (Sticky): Hiya kids! It's me again! Sticky the Stick Man! You know what that means don't you? Yes, more shitty filler! I bet the thought of it makes you moist don't it?Panel 2Sticky laughs, clutching his chest and pointing his thumb in a "get a load of this guy" gesture, while the house in the background catches fire.Caption (Sticky): Well anyhoo, the author of this shite has got a bad back due to being too lazy and too cheap to get a proper drawing table and make room for it. The result of laying on his bed to draw and sleeping funny a few weeks back has given him an owie! Aw poor him! HAHA!Panel 3Sticky raises a finger and points vaguely upward/toward the camera.Caption (Sticky): So the author would like it to be know that it wasn't laziness that caused this filler strip, but the fact he's a complete wimp with no tolerance for pain! Oh and he mumbled something about not owing most of you freeloading faggots anything too!Footer caption (Sticky): It's over, so fuck off!
==November 17==
Panel 1Nathan cringes and shrugs his shoulders as Red crosses her arms and looks away.Nathan: I get the feeling he doesn't like me much.Red: Oh no, it's not you. He's just uncomfortable having me around.Panel 2Nathan throws a hand up in a "STOP" gesture, frowning and tilting his head. Red frowns back at him, her arms at her sides in protest.Nathan: Wait! Stop! Is this friend of yours an ex-BOYfriend?Red: NO! Richard isn't my ex because he was never my boyfriend!Panel 3Nathan crosses his arms and glowers as Red cringes, arms behind her back.Red: He was just a boy who was my friend... who I was close to... and slept with a few times...Nathan: *GROAN*
==November 18==
Panel 1Close-up of Red glaring into the camera.Red: Well sorry! I don't know what made me think of Richard but he was the only one I could think of! I didn't have to help you, you know!Panel 2Close-up of Nathan, looking down, ears folded back.Nathan: I'm sorry. You're right! You didn't! I've just had a rough day and I don't think I can face any extra drama. Not right now...Panel 3Silhouettes of Red and Nathan against a blood red background. Nathan is frozen in place, while Red is looking upward with wide eyes.Richard (off-panel): WHERE IS HE? I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!Nathan (thinking): Oh joy! Not only drama, but also an annoying feeling of déjà vu!
==November 21==
Panel 1Richard is angrily shouting into the camera from over the back of the sofa.Richard: KINGSTON!Richard: YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS STONER SACK OF SHIT!Panel 2Richard is scowling with his ears folded back in rage, overlooking Kingston, who is lying back on the couch with his hat over his face, asleep as evident from his "Z" dialogue balloon.Richard: GRRRRR!Panel 3Nathan and Red stare at the scene occurring off-panel with a "deer in headlights" expression.Richard/Kingston (off-panel): THUMP! OW! What was that for? I want you to be awake when I shout at you, and it makes me feel better! In fact I think I'll do it again! THUMP! OOOWWW!
==November 22==
Panel 1Kingston stares upward as Richard's fist shoves a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis">cannabis</a> plant in his face.Richard (off-panel): WHAT do you call this shit you stupid, pot huffing spaz?Panel 2The camera zooms out to show Kingston looking annoyed at an equally annoyed Richard.Kingston: Aw fucking hell man! That's heavy! That was one of my best plants!Panel 3Richard snarls at Kingston, who cringes with guilt.Richard: Yeah, one of YOUR best plants that now fills MY spare room, that used to be full of MY furniture! What did you do with it pot-head?Kingston: Well these nice men from a charity called...
==November 23==
The Church of Poisoned Minds
Panel 1Black-and-white monochrome comic. Al is smiling into the camera.Al: This month saw the record industry hit a new peak in stupidity! Apparently Sony BMG thought that suing 12-year-olds and the dead was old hat, so they tried something new and even more retarded by shipping spyware with their CDs! Yes, their answer to internet piracy is to fuck your computer up using virus technology and not tell anyone about it! Brilliant! That could never be a public relations disaster!Panel 2Al is smiling and gesturing to the right (his left) with his thumb.Al: Of course it was! not only was it illegal, crapped over consumer trust, caused system stability and security problems and was used by online game cheats. It was later revealed that the code for this copy protection system was copied! Oh that and it didn't work very well! What were the Sony managers thinking when they okayed this? Well I have an idea...Panel 3A spindly-looking generic old man is sitting at a conference room table and bobbing his head slightly.Man (thinking): God these geeks are using big words! What the hell are they talking about? What's a "root kit"? It's too complicated for me, but I'm not going to ask what it means! That'll make me look stupid! Just nod your head and think about golf!
==November 24==
Panel 1Richard is screaming at Kingston, who gestures uselessly in a laid-back manner.Richard: WHY DID YOU GIVE MY FURNITURE AWAY!?Kingston: I needed a controlled environment and the spare room was perfect!Panel 2Close-up of Kingston looking thoughtful.Kingston: You see I like the taste of AK47, but I wanted to give it more strength! I've been trying to cross breed it with a strong batch of White Widow, but because Special K doesn't grow outside I set up shop in the empty room!Panel 3Close-up of panel 1 but with Richard leaned further down to snarl at Kingston more directly.Kingston: So you see, the furniture goes to a good cause and I advance botanical science!Richard: NO YOU DIDN'T!Kingston: You didn't say that when you tried an early batch the other week! ... In fact you couldn't say anything!
==November 25==
Panel 1Side view of Kingston on the couch, holding onto the back as he looks at Richard, who is angrily pointing at Kingston.Richard: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't throw your worthless stoner behind onto the street!Panel 2Close-up of Kingston looking pitifully into the camera.Kingston: Because we've been friends for like, forever man! I mean what would you do without your old mate Kingston, ay?Panel 3Close-up of panel 1, but Kingston is giving an embarrassed grin and Richard is no longer pointing.Richard: I don't know, maybe get someone else who doesn't stink of hash and pays his fucking rent on time!Kingston: Oh, and did I mention that I'll also pay for a new furniture set?
==November 28==
Panel 1Richard is standing upright, glaring down at Kingston, who is pleading.Kingston: Okay, okay, just let me move the plants. Do you know how hard it was to get good seeds these days? I had to borrow some good shit from an old hippie I know!Panel 2Zoomed out shot of panel 1, showing Kingston kneeling on the couch with his hands on its back as he looks over his shoulder, cringing, as Richard gives him a side-eye, arms crossed.Richard: You mean you stole them from your dad!Kingston: Man, why must you re-word things so they sound bad?
==November 29==
Panel 1Nathan and Red are standing a bit away from the scene of the prior strips. Nathan is wincing as Red gives him a look.Nathan: Jesus! Is it always like this around here Red?Panel 2Close-up of Red laughing with a smile.Red: Oh no...Panel 3Slightly rotated version of panel 1 to show more of the hallway behind them. Nathan is smirking in exasperation as Red deadpans into the camera.Red: It used to be ten times worse! By now his other friend would have got involved, and something would have got burned, blown up or broken.
==November 30==
Panel 1Richard returns and glances over his shoulder with gritted teeth as Nathan gives a calming hand wave.Richard: Yeah. Sorry about all that. It might be awhile before we get the spare room sorted and um... could you not tell the police please?Nathan: It's okay, I'm cool!Panel 2Close-up of Nathan grinning widely.Trust me, the stuff my flatmates used to get up to while we're at college pales to what I just saw. I'm sure it's similar in bed-sits everywhere.Panel 3Panel 1, but Richard is giving Nathan an unamused look, arms crossed, and Nathan is giving an embarrassed smirk.Richard: Really? I'd one of your flatmates also strangle chickens for fun before shooting them out of a homemade cannon?Nathan: Er...
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