Lost in the Poison Jungle

((This will update... sporadically. There aren't gonna be any chapters, and I'm probably gonna end up just leaving off wherever. Oh well. Here goes nothing. Also, all the text is bolded for some reason???? I copy-pasted from Google docs and it was all bolded and I had to go back and de-bold it. Whoops??))
The best thing about tomorrow, Kukainis thought, is that I won’t have to go to school for four whole weeks. The worst thing about tomorrow, is that I won’t be able to go home, either. He rolled in his hammock, determined not to think too much about that. Home was nice. Home was great. Home was the best. Home was where his books were. Where he was going was a bookless place full of insects and other dragons and deadly plants and probably noise and-
Don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it. Focus on the good stuff.
Like no school. No school sounded great! No crowded hallways or loud dragonets or teachers telling him to pay attention even though everybody knew that learning any math more complicated than multiplication and division was useless unless you wanted to become a math teacher. He wouldn’t have to worry about boring assignments or being picked on or the fact that his one and only friend was probably avoiding him and definitely Not Happy with him. Sometimes, he wondered if everyone was annoyed at him. Sometimes, he wondered what he was doing wrong. Sometimes, he wondered why he cared.
But that wasn’t the point. The point was not worrying about The Trip. Knowledge had told him to try and distract himself from worrying about all the Bad Things and try to be positive. Kukainis wasn’t sure how much he wanted to trust his father’s life advice, seeing as Knowledge had decided to dedicate his entire life to insects and spiders and other invertebrates with far more legs than anything should ever have ever. But Knowledge also had friends and a successful career and an alliterative family that was mostly happy as long as you didn’t count Kukainis as a part of it. Besides, following his father’s advice was unlikely to land him a job involving insects as long as he didn’t ask for and then follow advice on how to get a job involving insects. So Kukainis decided that it would be a good idea to listen to Knowledge, and focus on the bright side.
Unfortunately, the only bright side he could find was that whole “no more school” thing. After that, things got, well, they got tricky. First off, The Trip involved nature. Nature was Bad. In fact, nature was just about the worst possible thing. Nature had bugs and spiders and wild animals. There were storms and dark nights and no books and scary animals like tarantulas and everything about nature was just the worst. And then there was his family.
Four weeks of uninterrupted family time when Kukainis wasn’t even sure-
No! Stop that! Everything will be FINE. This time, his thoughts sounded suspiciously like Kode. He tried to ignore the ache in his chest when he thought of his little sister. He knew that Kode was looking forward to looking at weird insects and strange plants and odd animals. Two years ago, she would have known just what to say to make himself feel better. One year ago, she’d have started screaming herself hoarse about how he was selfish or lazy or mean or entitled. Now, he was pretty sure that she’d just ignore him.
It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. I’m going whether I want to or not.
Kukainis shifted again, trying to get comfortable on his hammock. He needed to get some sleep. There was going to be a lot of flying tomorrow, after all.
Knowing this did not help Kukainis. In fact, he spent several more hours worrying about his upcoming trip. In his defense, it wasn’t every day that one’s parents decided to bring one along with them on a trip to study and document some of the flora and fauna living in the Poison Jungle.
***
Karner woke Kukainis up early the next morning to make sure that he had everything packed (he did), had not packed any history books or scrolls (he had, she took them away), had not hidden any history books or scrolls anywhere (“Kukainis, this is going to be a very long flight, please do not pack anything that you do not absolutely require.”), and to make sure that he ate breakfast before they joined the rest of the team (Kukainis was too nauseous to eat). He didn’t mind being woken up so early in ordinary circumstances, but he did wish that he had been allowed to sleep a little longer.
Far sooner than he would’ve liked, the whole family was being bundled out the door. Kobe still had her wingbuds, so the four ended up walking. Knowledge and Kobe were chatting animatedly up ahead, with Karner adding the occasional observation or snarky remark. Kukainis trailed behind just a little, trying desperately to think of something, anything, to say. Except Knowledge had just said something about parasitic wasps and tarantulas that got eaten from the inside out and now there was no way that Kukainis was ever becoming a part of the conversation that had just introduced the newest subject for his nightmares. He made sure to stay a little further behind his family after that.
The walk to the meeting point was, unfortunately, very brief, and did nothing to quell his growing anxiety. Far sooner than he would have liked, Kukainis found himself surrounded by a large crowd of noisy dragons. They whirled around him in a myriad of colors, chatting, laughing, shouting, and preparing to leave. Reds and golds and greens and blues and blacks swirled around him. Next to Kukainis, somebody shouted “Knowledge! Karner! It’s so good to see you!”
It was so loud, and there were so many colors and dragons and noises and he was about to go to a strange place full of deadly plants and insects and by the moons what was he thinking? And it was so loud. The chatter and shouts and roars had built themselves into a shrieking cacophony of noise. He was surrounded. Kukainis couldn’t escape and if he tried he would get lost or in trouble or disappoint his family even more. His breathing hitched, his heart started hammering, and he drew into himself. Everything was crushing him. He was trapped and the cage was getting smaller. There was a bright crimson SilkWing in front of him, asking his parents about… something. Kukainis wasn’t paying enough attention to be able to make out the words.
"He looked up when he saw a flash of bright blue in front of his snout. “Breathe, Kain. Breathe.” Karner murmured. She placed a comforting talon on his shoulder. “Come with me.”
"Karner led Kukainis to a small tent that was filled with supply crates. “Take a deep breath, Kain. That’s it. Now exhale. Breathe in, exhale. Yes, just like that.”
"Gradually, Kukainis’ heartbeat slowed, his breathing became more even. Slowly, he let his fear drain away, back into the little box that he kept it in. He felt a sharp, stabbing pain in his talon and looked down. He was clutching at the garnet on his necklace so tightly that it had left an indent on his palm.
"Are you alright?” Karner asked. Kukainis nodded.
"Are you still sure that you want to go with us? We still have time to drop you with aunt Kessleria. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” Kukainis shook his head. He was pretty sure that they didn’t have time for that, and if they tried to hand him over to her then everybody else going on The Trip would be held up. He was also pretty sure that aunt Kessleria would mind very much, even if he was Very Quiet and Didn’t Bother her. Besides, his whole family had been looking forward to this for ages, and Kukainis didn’t want to be any more of a weird outsider than he already was with them.
"I’m alright. I just need a minute.” He mumbled at the ground. Karner sighed.
"Okay. I have to go help with preparations. When you’re ready, go find Knowledge or I, and we’ll find you something to do.” Kukainis nodded again and watched as Karner marched out of the tent.
As nice and understanding as Karner had been, Kukainis still got that icky, sticky feeling. It was like ants and spiders and slugs were crawling into and out of the gaps between his scales. It was the one that told him that he had failed his family yet again. That he was a disappointment and that his parents were ashamed to be related to him. It was the same one that he got when he panicked in front of Knowledge because he saw a spider, or loudly proclaimed that bugs were “icky” when he was two in the middle of a family dinner. Kukainis was pretty sure that he would continue to get that feeling for as long as he lived.
It took a long time for him to leave the storage tent, and when he did, Karner brought him over so that he could help with loading the camping equipment. Great. At least there weren't any bugs! Yet...
Category:Fanfictions (Incomplete)
Category:Fanfictions
Category:Fanfictions (Fanon)
Category:Genre (Adventure)