Haggar VS Zangief

Haggar VS Zangief is the fifth episode of Death Battle, featuring Mike Haggar from the Final Fight series and Zangief from the Street Fighter series in a battle between iconic fighting game wrestlers.
==Interlude==
Wiz: Capcom has produced hundreds of deadly warriors, but few can best these two hulking leviathans.
Boomstick: Haggar, the mayor-elect of whoop-ass.
Wiz: And Zangief, Russia's Red Cyclone.
Boomstick: These two wrestlers have never met in person, but their rivalry is legendary, and it's about time they duked it out!
Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
==Mike Haggar==
Boomstick: Standing six foot seven and weighing 266 pounds -30 of which is probably in his manly mustache- it's Mike Haggar!
Wiz: For many years, Haggar was a champion wrestler of Slam Masters until being elected mayor of Metro City, a metropolis overrun with street gangs.
Boomstick: Too bad there aren't more badasses in office. Most mayors would just put up laws against crime or increase the police force, but Mike takes matters into his own hands.
Wiz: Haggar is a former pro-American wrestler, specializing in grabs, holds, and quick strikes. He's of Scottish ancestry and proud of it, even having a Scottish flag on his gym. It's likely he has also trained in Scottish backhold wrestling, which involves bearhugging an opponent and keeping your balance while overpowering theirs.
Boomstick: Haggar's got a devastating move set, ranging from Suplexes, Body Splashes, and his own invention: the Spinning clothesline double lariat, which Zangief stole for his own use. To even the score, Haggar copied Gief's spinning piledriver. When Haggar isn't overpowering people with his pure manliness, his weapon of choice is a blunt pipe. Hey, he's a mayor that kicks ass and recycles!
Wiz: Even after his victorious election, Haggar continued his vigorous training.
Boomstick: By piledriving sharks!
Wiz: It appears Haggar wrestles bull sharks, one of the deadliest sharks on Earth. These can grow up to 11 feet long and weigh up to 500 pounds. Wrestling these proves Haggar's proficiency in the Scottish backhold, as he keeps his balance against the thrashing sharks until he can piledrive them into the beach.
Boomstick: Next Jaws movie needs more Haggar!
Wiz: Unfortunately, during his time as mayor, Haggar was undoubtedly forced to prioritize politics over training. It's likely he didn't have much time to learn new techniques or train against many other wrestlers. As a result, he uses moves and skills from an older era.
Boomstick: But they seem to work pretty damn well.
Wiz: He certainly hasn't lost his touch.
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Announcer: Mike Haggar, the candidate who puts people first.
Haggar growls and kills a bald eagle perched on his arm.
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==Zangief==
Wiz: Zangief stands seven feet tall at 350 pounds, weighing in as one of the strongest on the Street Fighting circuit.
Boomstick: And as a testament to his manliness, check out that wicked shin hair!
Wiz: Zangief is a champion wrestler in Russia, using push and pull techniques to throw his opponents off balance. He also specializes in Sambo, a combination of wrestling and martial arts. He's not skilled in leglocks and chokeholds, but his grappling, submissions, and groundwork are second to none.
Boomstick: Zangief's best moves include his Double Lariat, Atomic Suplex, Flying Power Bomb, and a wicked backhand called the Banishing Flat, a move Zangief learned specifically to counter projectiles. Zangief. HATES. Projectiles.
Wiz: His signature move is the Spinning Piledriver, which he learned after getting caught in a cyclone while piledriving a bear.
Boomstick: That is the most awesome thing I've ever heard!
Wiz: Actually, wrestling bears has been Zangief's favourite training exercise since he was a kid. Supposedly, he wrestles grizzly bears, but these are not native to Russia. It's far more likely he wrestles Ussuri brown bears, which can weigh up to 1,500 pounds, well over twice the size of a full-grown grizzly.
Boomstick: Holy shit! He piledrived one of those into a tornado!?
Wiz: Battling such a massive beast corresponds with his Russian wrestling training perfectly, forcing the bears to lose their balance and knocking them out cold! Zangief is a loyal Russian through and through, always fighting for his country rather than personal gain. He is often employed by the Russian President as the country's official fighting representative. That said, Zangief is pretty dimwitted, more a follower than a leader. He fights with instinct rather than reason.
Boomstick: All the more reason to get out of his way!
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Zangief attacks the Duck Hunt Dog and piledrives it.
Zangief: Mmmmhhh! Me Zangief broke you!
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==Prelude==
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set.
Boomstick: The unstoppable force against the unmovable mayor.
Wiz: Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: Wait up, first I gotta pay for my laser-guided kitten cannon.
Wiz: Laser what?
Boomstick: Thanks to Netflix! Suck it up you babies, this kitten cannon is important to me.
We hear a kitten meow after being shot out of a cannon, before Wiz and Boomstick read out an advertisement for Netflix.
Boomstick: But right now, it's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!
==Death Battle==
Zangief and Haggar stand in a deserted street. Haggar stretches his muscles and rips his shirt while Zangief removes his cape, points upwards and laughs, and drinks a bottle of beer before crushing the bottle.
Haggar and Zangief both grab each other and look at each other in the eyes before Zangief throws Haggar behind him. He tries to attack Haggar with a flying kick, only to get blocked. He tries to punch him, but his punches get blocked, too.
After dodging Zangief's lariat, Haggar suplexes him, attacks him with a lariat, and kicks him. Zangief suplexes Haggar twice and piledrives him before throwing him across the street.
As Zangief advances, Haggar kicks him and attacks him with a steel pipe, but Zangief counters with the Banishing flat, knocking him into a building, which Zangief enters to finish the duel. As they fight, they also go upstairs. A couch, a globe, Princess Peach, a Dragon Ball, Big the Cat, and Pedobear get thrown out the building.
Haggar and Zangief's fists hit each other and Haggar tries and fails to hit Zangief but Zangief suplexes Haggar near a window and, after a few blocked punches, throws himself at Haggar, sending them both out the window.
Zangief tries to pile drive Haggar into the pavement, but then Haggar begins to turn the tides and tries to piledrive Zangief, then Zangief tries to piledrive Haggar, then Haggar tries to piledrive Zangief. This goes on for a while until they both hit the pavement. As the dust clears, Haggar and Zangief are both seen lying down on the pavement. But Haggar has blood around his head, indicating his death. Then, Zangief stands up, points both arms upward, and laughs triumphantly.
==Results==
Boomstick: (sighs) A great man has fallen today...
Wiz: Haggar and Zangief's similar moveset appeared evenly matched, anticipating each other's moves and countering with their signature attack.
Boomstick: He led a long productive life, kicking ass, ruling Metro City, and keeping the beaches safe from rogue sharks...
Wiz: Not only is Zangief almost 100 pounds larger than Haggar, he's also 13 years younger and been training all his life.
Boomstick: I'm gonna miss that wonderful mustache!
Wiz: Zangief's youth and lack of political agenda were enough to give him a slight edge.
Boomstick: Poor Haggar. He may piledrive sharks, but Zangief's bears were three times larger and probably twice as dangerous. Sure, Haggar can grapple a half ton shark without falling over, but if Zangief can push around 1,500 pound bears as a hobby, Haggar didn't stand a chance.
Wiz: He definitely put up a great fight, though.
Boomstick: That he did. 'Gief just found his window of opportunity.
We cut to the "Zangief" winner card.
Wiz: The winner is Zangief.
==Trivia==
===Production===
*The core connections between Haggar and Zangief are that they are both manly, Capcom fighting game wrestlers with incredibly large and muscular physiques who got involved in politics to help care for their country (Haggar did everything in his power to rid Metro City of street gangs as a mayor, while Zangief traveled around the world to display the might of the Soviet Union after the president promised to back him up). In addition:
**Both are also often thought to be rivals by fans due to their similar move sets and physique.
**Both characters have met and fought each other in the Street Fighter comics published by UDON Entertainment.
**Haggar is one of the few Final Fight characters that has never been playable in a Street Fighter game. However, he has made several cameo appearances in the series, and Zangief wears his attire in Street Fighter IV.
**Haggar is known for a meme of him piledriving a bull shark, which is similar to Zangief piledriving a bear.
*Both at the end of the episode and in the first Q&A when asked "Is there an episode where your preferred character lost?", Boomstick stated he was saddened by Haggar's defeat.
===Errors===
*The supposed feat of Haggar piledriving a bull shark used in this episode is actually just fan art made by jnkboy on DeviantArt.
===Other===
*This is the first Capcom-themed episode, with the next two being Leon Kennedy VS Frank West and Mega Man Battle Royale.
*This is the second Series-themed episode, after Goomba VS Koopa, and with the next seven being Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale, Pokémon Battle Royale, Meta VS Carolina, Mega Man Battle Royale, The Seven Battle Royale, Red VS Blue, and Gogeta VS Vegito.
*This is the first Fighting Game VS non-Fighting Game-themed episode, with the next eight being Yoshi VS Riptor, Thor VS Raiden, Pikachu VS Blanka, Guts VS Nightmare, Hercule Satan VS Dan Hibiki, Johnny Cage VS Captain Falcon, Black Canary VS Sindel, and Goro VS Machamp.
**This is the first time that the Fighting Game character wins, with the next one being Pikachu VS Blanka.
Category:Death Battles
Category:Season 1 episodes
Category:Street Fighter episodes
Category:Animated Sprite battles
Category:Fights animated by Ben Singer
Category:Death Battles with cameo appearances
Category:'Company' themed Death Battles
Category:'Rivalry' themed Death Battles
Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles
Category:'Heroes' themed Death Battles
Category:'Protagonists' themed Death Battles
Category:'Series' themed Death Battles
Category:'80s VS 90s' themed Death Battles