Jester Star

== BEGIN PROFILE: ==
G.U.F.F. PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING SAFETY DURING “JESTER STAR” MANIFESTATIONS
The
 “Jester Star” is an anomalous celestial body, appearing in the sky 
after full sunset. Its appearance upon observation appears to be close 
to earth, approximately a quarter of the size of the moon.''
The “Jester
 Star” is un-detectable outside of these manifestations, and will not 
appear to any astronomical or physical observation outside of affected 
area despite clear indicators of physical prescence. ''
Non-anomalous
 gravitational and thermal effects are nonexistent. Data from mechanical
 probes sent to observe is not cleared for public release due to 
potential neurological and physiological effects.''
HOW TO PREDICT THE JESTER STAR:
Appearances
 of monochromatic flyers in bright green ink on black paper in unknown 
characters. These are accompanied by images of what appears to be a 
“circus,” but this is inconsistent. Most images appear to feature “The 
Harlequin”''
A sharp increase in phantom clown sightings.
 Clearer indicators of relation to “Jester Star” is lack of 
aggressiveness in sighted clowns, unlike “common” phantom clowns.''
Anomalous
 animal appearances for the environment. Examples vary, but past 
appearances have included polar bears in the Sonoran Desert, moose in 
Florida, Snallygaster in Alaska, and California Condor in Detroit.''
Appearances
 of the “street performer” known as “The Harlequin.” If you are spoken 
to by “The Harlequin”, do not leave until he has finished his act. If 
you are offered an item, leave a twenty dollar bill in his hat. If you 
are unable to pay, politely decline. If he asks you to aid him in his 
performance, DO NOT REFUSE.''
IF YOU SEE THE JESTER STAR:
Do not panic. Everyone else can see it too. It is not malevolent, and will disappear when the Star leaves.
DO
 NOT attempt to contact external; non G.U.F.F. officials about anomalous
 activity. Doing so will cause active pursuit by Star Entities.''
The
 environment will remain nocturnal as long as the Star is in effect, 
ranging from three days to a week. Circadian rhythms appear to function 
normally over twenty-four hour cycles.''
Do not attempt 
to block out the continuous speech through electronic devices by “The 
Harlequin”. This is proven inaccurate, and will draw his attention 
towards you.''
There will be a large tent; referred to by
 Star Entities as “The Big Top” with anomalous spacial internal 
properties manifesting inside the town, with prices charged for 
admission. Do not panic if you can see it over the horizon no matter 
where you go, this is normal. If you are to enter, DO NOT heckle the 
performers, and always pay for your ticket.''
If red curtains are blocking an area, DO NOT ENTER until they are opened by a Star Entity or opened independently. 
Aside
 from those mentioned in this document, any architectural alterations by
 the Star are benign and to be treated normally, even if they appear to 
exhibit unsafe properties in their appearance. These properties are 
almost always mitigated by anomalous features seemingly designed to 
allow safety.''
All business entities cohabited by 
business operations of Star Entities MUST WORK TO ACCOMIDATE THEM, NO 
MATTER THEIR DEMANDS. Any anomalous items given for “being good hosts” 
must be inspected by G.U.F.F. personnel before use. G.U.F.F. will not 
pay for any physical, psychological or property damages incurred by 
those being “very rude” to the Star Entities.''
The rules for
 “The Harlequin“ pre-manifestation still apply. If he offers to take you
 to the Big Top, always accept. Any resultant physical alterations will 
be dealt with free of charge by the G.U.F.F. if undesired. No 
individuals have contacted the G.U.F.F. about this offer so far.''
Anomalous
 street performers/street vendors are mostly safe to engage with, aside 
from these recorded examples: Mr. Red/Mx. White/Ms. Blue, Doctor W.D. 
Quackenheimer, Volto The Poison Wizard, Champion Heavyweight Mad Man 
Marbles, Hopper’s Choppers, Hank Bartells Jr. and The Tattooed Taboo. DO
 NOT ENGAGE WITH THESE INDIVIDUALS IN ANY WAY.''
If you 
have dealt with any unsafe performers in the past, write the name 
“Madame Lao Jr.” on any stable/writeable surface while the star is 
manifesting. She will know what to do.''
''DO NOT harm marginalized groups, animals, or individuals below the poverty line during the event. Doing
 so will attract negative attention from “The Harlequin,” despite any 
escape from legal infractions accessible before the star. This attention
 will continue even after the Star’s appearance has ended.''
If
 you are given an application to “join” the Star Entities, be sure you 
are willing to give up the entirety of your communal, financial, and 
personal attachments before you sign. ''
If you are lost 
in the altered surroundings, ask one of the Star Entities to take you to
 Babs. However, never ask the Harlequin to take you to Babs.''HAVE FUN, BUT BE SAFE, BE SMART, REMEMBER THESE RULES!
== Author Commentary ==
The idea for this came when I altered an image of a Star, and IDK why but I felt it was particularly
 circus-y. Hence the concept. It was fun, albeit a bit laborious, to 
write this goofy Bradbury-esque star-circus PSA, tho IDK if I did it 
particularly well.
As per usual with G.U.F.F. stuff, this is free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY 4.0 license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!
And, if you wanna support me, maybe check out my Patreon, which I previewed this design on ages ago, or even just send a Ko-Fi my way! Every penny is appreciated, and I am eternally grateful for those who donate!
Category:G.U.F.F. Entries