Blood 54

Chapter 54
This chapter is boring and consists of loose ends being tied up, so I'm kinda going to skim through it.
Richard's guards find Cannibal Granny's corpse, but of course they don't know who she is. Zedd is missing and presumed dead. Richard is sad.
Richard angsts for a bit until Kahlan snaps him out of it \~/. We then get a bit where Berdine and Kahlan verbally fellate Richard on his awesome linguistic skills \~/. Berdine talks about her breasts and how Richard ogled all the Dominatrices and groped her, so Kahlan has some suggestive lesbian banter with Raina. Because tits. \~/
Also, Richard wonders how Kahlan knew Berdine and Raina were . . . you know . . . together. Kahlan says “Isn't it obvious? […] The look in their eyes?” Yeah, it might have been obvious of Goodkind had ever described any interaction whatsoever between these two characters. \~/
Next we have a few dignitaries, including Representative Theriault of Herjborgue . . . no, really. That's it's name. That's the name Goodkind went with. That's the name his editor approved. That's what he was paid to write.
. . . so anyway, Representative Theriault of Catonthekeyboard and his colleagues have all agreed that unconditional surrender to the unknown and untested son of the most sadistic tyrant of his generation, the man who has already committed himself to total war against a superior foe, a man who consorts with monsters and who is known for his irrational fits of rage and random death-threats, is just a brilliant idea. \~/
We randomly learn that Richard, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, decided that the ewer used in Murderball was too heavy and was causing little kids to be injured, so he had some smaller, lighter-weight balls made instead. Because that makes all the difference in full-contact football with no protective gear or rules on personal injury: the weight of the ball. \~/ Anyone who agrees to use a new, lighter ball will get an official one marked with an R for the house of Rahl, because Richard's ego knows no bounds.
And for our final scene, we . . . oh no. Oh God no.
We're back with Zedd and Hypocrite, the former now in his “wacky” Ruben Rybnik persona.
Dammit Goodkind!
Zedd is zany and gluttonous, and it's just as funny as it ever was. \~/ They get rooms at an inn, banter is bantered, and we learn that Zedd can take his collar off whenever he feels like it. And . . . that's it.
That's the end.
Yay?
Drinks: 7
Grand Total Drinks: 288
Series Total Drinks: 1,145
Rape Count: 12
Series Total Rape Count: 22
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