Chief of Hearts/Quotes

:Judge: Homer Simpson, for causing a panic in the bank you are hereby sentenced to 100 hours of community service! 
:Homer: Community service? But that's work. What about jail?
:Judge: [bangs gavel] Community service!
:Homer: No, I want to go to jail! Free food! Teardrop Tattoos! Library books that come to you! I'll serve anything but the community! [is dragged out by police]
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:Johnny Tightlips: Nobody moves or the doughboy gets popped!
:Homer: (screams)
:Chief Wiggum: Take your hands off my brother from another mother!
:(Wiggum wrestles with Tightlips with the gun and accidentally shoots himself)
:Louie: Let's get out of here!
:Chief Wiggum: Not to worry, Homer. That's what bullet proof vests are for.
:(Wiggum looks in the car to see his bullet-proof vest, which means he isn't wearing it and he is in big trouble.)
:Chief Wiggum: Uh-oh. (Falls unconscious to the ground. Lou rushes to his side.)
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:Homer: Is he gonna be okay?
:Dr. Hibbert: It's going to be touch and go. His left lung was filled with Shamrock Shake. McDonald's didn't even sell them this year.
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:(Homer is in hospital. Sarah Wiggum is weeping for her husband.)
:Homer: Don't worry, Sarah. Clancy was there for me. I'll be there for him.
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:Homer: Don't die on me, Clancy. You said our friendship was so special. If it was so special, wake up you fat sack of...
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:(Bart go to group of boys During Dylan's birthday.)
:Boy 1: You don't know Battle Ball?
:Boy 2: It's a Japanese Card game, based on a cartoon, based on an ancient religion, based on a candy bar.
:Boy 3: It makes Digimon look like Pokemon.
:Bart: What! Impossible!
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:(Marge has found she actually likes Battle Ball)
:Marge: Hey, that's actually rather neat. (Picks up ball-robot and palms it)
:(A moment later, Bart is flushing Battle Ball down the toilet)
:Bart: It can't be cool if my Mom likes them! (Toilet begins to overflow) Come on toilet, if you can handle Dad, you can handle this!