The Fun Way

Oh, by the stars was I tired. I felt so exhausted I could have quite easily fallen asleep right there as I stood amidst the ashes of the burning city. The smell? Hmm, I had grown accustomed to it by now. Burnt flesh, scorched concrete, plasma scoring, these scents can be quickly become accustomed to. The noise is another aspect I easily could have dispelled. Indeed, I have slept through loud commotions before, such as bombardments. However, one does not simply tune out Mik ‘Mutukee, and he was utterly dedicated to keeping me awake, especially on this day.
He was like a spectre hanging over me, a restless spirit shadowing my every move. I could not sleep, I could not rest, I could not even breathe without him pestering me. I cannot lay the blame completely on him, however, for the excitement of combat and despoliation filled his heart with unmitigated joy. Furthermore, the action of three days of nonstop combat left me bereft of any sort of respite.
“Can you feel it?!” excitedly questioned Mik, my weary eyes dragging themselves from left to right to see him shaking his arms, his two hands holding plasma rifles. He rotated around, taking in all the sights and smells as we paraded down the large avenue in the urban environment of New Susa, on the Human planet of Elam-of-the-Stars.
“If it is a crushing exhaustion,” I said, “then yes, I do indeed feel it, Mik.”
“Aw, come on now, Kai, can’t you get into the spirit?”
“Spirit of what?”
“Of crushing our enemies, seeing them driven before us, and hearing the lamentations of their women.”
“Does that get me more sleep?
“Yes! Once you finally do it, of course. For the past three days you have been doing nothing but moping around for no particular reason, talking about gods-know-what.”
“I’m tired, Mik! I haven’t slept in three days!”
“Well, perhaps if you just engaged in some wanton slaughter, you might cheer up.”
“Oh! Very well.” I took my carbine off of the latch on my back, looking around sarcastically, then putting my arms up in confusion. “Hmm, there seems to be no Humans to wantonly slaughter. Maybe because most of them managed to evacuate two days ago.”
“Not quite correct sir,” suddenly commented Ythar ‘Yrunsee, our minor in charge of the lance’s contingent of Unggoy. He was a prodigy, a natural-born genius, excelling in the fields of science, literature, history, and mathematics. And here he was, a warrior, taking up arms for our righteous cause. He always was tinkering with something like an Engineer, and had a variety of colorful gadgets and devices to assist him in various tasks, such as carrying loads, scanning environments, and loading and reloading weaponry. I tolerated his penchant for invention and refrained from disciplining him for deviating from the uniform code, although I assume that once he was transferred to another commander, he was stripped of such privileges. “The scanners of the Everlasting Salvation have indicated that there are millions of Humans remaining on this planet, a plurality of that number within this city’s boundaries alone.”
“Wait, are you tapped into the Salvation’s sensors right now?” asked Mik.
“Affirmative.”
“Of course you are.”
“Speaking of Humans, take a gander!” Mik pointed down the street, and we saw a group of six Humans, escorted by a Human soldier, who spotted us in return and fired in our general direction with his assault rifle. The soldier was shouting something I could not clearly hear. I raised my carbine quickly, and slew the soldier with a well-placed shot to his chest. I lowered my weapon. “Kai, you’re not getting those other ones? I don’t want them.” I found this behavior peculiar of Mik’s, considering his almost constant desire to add to his kill count. I soon realized that he was trying to cheer me up by allowing me an opportunity to add to my own numbers. Alas, this was futile, for I felt too fatigued to shoot at civilian Humans.
I said nothing.
“I shall take this opportunity then,” said Ythar. He raised his plasma rifle and fired, the hot blue projectiles screaming towards their targets. Ythar was a bright young man, and an enthusiastic warrior, but not the most skilled in combat. He missed almost every shot he fired from his several bursts, only hitting one Human carrying a bag in the back. “Gods… perhaps I should adjust my targeting reticle.”
“Perhaps…” said Mik.
“Sir, what’s our destination anyway?” questioned Tes, our ever-watchful Kig-Yar markswoman.
Basab, meanwhile, was chittering away with the other Unggoy, over what I did not know.
“We are to proceed to the headquarters of the city’s municipal government and demolish it,” I answered.
“Couldn’t they have gotten a ship to bomb it to oblivion?”
“Yes, but apparently they want it done the hard way.”
“The fun way, you mean!” said Mik. “Look, our target.”
Mik pointed at the municipal headquarters. Ythar, meanwhile, scanned the structure, marked with small holes and scorch marks from blaster fire and explosives. I looked up, the air choking with black, billowing smoke from fires erupting from windows in the lofty white and black skyscrapers of the Human city. Faint sounds of warfare, explosives, and screaming echoed throughout the streets, the sound waves bouncing from tower to tower, eventually reaching our ears. It was not a deafening noise, thankfully. The smell of burnt flesh, metal, and concrete was tolerable.
“No Human presence in the structure, sir,” said Ythar.
Suddenly, my communicator came to life with the voice of my commander. “To all lances in Sector Z-24, this is Enduring Light.” Now, that was the codename for our commander. “Your orders have been changed: Sector Z-24 is now targeted for low-altitude plasma bombardment. I repeat: Sector Z-24 has been greenlit for low-altitude plasma bombardment. Withdrawal of Sector Z-24 is to commence immediately. I say again: all ground forces are to withdraw from Sector Z-24. May the gods watch over you, over and out.”
“What the fuck…?” uttered Mik. I looked to my right, and noticed several Sangheili running from a building down the avenue we strode upon, away from the sector’s geographic center, which was the municipal headquarters. Then, an ominous sight appeared: the Everlasting Salvation, our ship, appearing from behind a cloud of thick, black smoke. Suddenly, it fired a narrow bean of plasma from an underside energy projector.
“Evacuate!” I order to anyone and everyone. “Fall back, fall back, get out of here!”
And so, we ran like the wind, joined by several other lances and stragglers. I did not look behind me to see the beam of plasma melting the surface of this world, nor did I stop to listen to his roar, or smell the scents of white-hot plasma. Instead, I ran, and two distinct thoughts dominated my mind. One: I wanted to throttle whoever gave the order to start glassing a sector with us still in it. Two: I truly envied those who were not in the field, and I wished to go home, for surely any sort of quiet is preferable to the madness of fleeing from friendly fire.
Category:The Weekly