PWN

PWN is a psychical attack of awesomeness that only happens to unfortunate and unawesome people. It can be a spectral attack too, but that's more likely to be a Horror Show. Usually, PWN and FAIL are interchangeable, except for when you're doing the PWNING, then it becomes interchangeable for WIN. People who can PWN are often awesome guys and guys who get PWNED are often lame and stupid, not just because Captain 0 PWNS Captain 1 on a daily basis. No, wait; that's exactly why.
Nobody knows who invented PWN, but we know he was very epic, which is why we conducted an interview with Nobody. Interviewer: "Who invented PWN?" Nobody: "Sun Tzu". Yep, that's right: Sun Tzu invented PWN. He PWNED Ganon and his minions out of China, and he PWNED Wario out of the 9th Dimension. PWNING them involved strategic positioning, feigning weakness, infiltrating their ranks with spies, as well as just killing them. His PWNS were so epic he wrote a PWN compilation called The Fart of War.
== How to PWN Someone ==
thumb|If you become a god, you can PWN drivers in Mario Mart.
If all you want to do is PWN people you're not really cool, you're kind of just a bully. Or a serial killer if you think that killing people is PWN. Sometimes it is, but they have to be a loser first or fell into ruin. Being awesome and getting the better of your opponents is a surefire way to PWN them. The best way to do this would be to become a good guy and beat up bad guys, but if you're not that cool then you can trick someone into eating Pwnage Pineapple; only a n00b would be tricked into eating one. Pwnage Pineapple can also PWN you too, so watch out.
== How to not get PWN ==
Simple: If you see some1 more epic than you, you run away, cus they're gonna PWN you. You can also become an Undefeatable since none of those guys ever get PWNED, but if you go on the UnRank Scales and don't become an Undefeatable... well, you got PWNED. Well scratch all that; Chuck Norris is always PWNING you. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE BEING PWNED!!
== List of Norris-Approved PWNS ==
* Beat somebody at something
* Beat up Captain 1
* Roundhouse kick someone
* TKO somebody
* Kill a n00b
* Annoy your friends
* Annoy strangers
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