Ghostbusters/Transcript

==Transcript==
=== Outside New York Public Library ===
Eerie music. Pigeons fly from the steps.
=== New York Public Library, Reading room ===
Alice pushes a cart of books.
=== New York Public Library, Basement ===
Alice brings some books down to the basement of library. As she walks along, a few books float to other shelves. When she turns around to investigate, nothing happens. She makes some notes on a pad and passes a card catalog. The drawers slide open, spilling cards all over the place. She screams and runs. She runs through the shelves. She comes to what must be the ghost and screams. Her hair blows back. The Ghostbusters logo dissolves onto screen. Music: Ghostbusters.
=== Columbia University ===
Main title pops up. The Ghostbusters theme keeps playing. We see people going in and out of the building.
=== Corridor outside Paranormal Studies Laboratory ===
We hear Dr. Peter Venkman giving the ESP test. On the door: "Dr. Egon Spengler Dr. Raymond Stantz Dr. Peter Venkman Venkman burn in **** Maid please make up this room as soon as possible"
=== Inside the lab ===
Peter gives ESP test to male student and Jennifer. The male student is hooked up to electrodes.
Peter: All right. I'm gonna turn over the next card. I want you to concentrate. I want you to tell me what you think it is.
Male Student: Square?
Peter shows him the card and shocks him.
Peter: Good guess, but wrong.
Peter holds a circle card up in front of Jennifer.
Peter: Clear your head. All right. Tell me what you think it is.
Jennifer: Is it a star?
Peter: It is a star. Very good. That's great. Okay.
Peter holds up a square card for the male student.
Peter: All right. Think hard. What is it?
Male Student: Circle?
Peter shows him the square and shocks him.
Peter: Ooh, close, but definitely wrong.
The male student's gum shoots out of his mouth. He puts it back in and keeps chewing. Peter holds a plus sign card up for Jennifer.
Peter: Okay. All right. Ready?
Jennifer: Yeah.
Peter: What is it? Come on.
Jennifer: Figure eight.
Peter pretends to be astonished.
Peter: Incredible. That's five for five. You can't see these, can you?
Jennifer: No, no.
Peter: You're not cheating me, are you?
Jennifer: No, I swear, they're just coming to me.
The male student exhales.
Peter: (to the male student) Okay. Nervous?
Male Student: Yes... I don't like this.
Peter: Don't worry, you only have seventy-five more to go.
Peter holds up a card with three wavy lines.
Peter: Okay, what's this one?
Male Student: A couple of wavy lines.
Peter who wants to zap him just for fun.
Peter: Sorry! This isn't your lucky day!
Male Student: I know... Um...
Peter reaches for the little lever. 
Male Student: Wait. Uh... Um-- Wait, um--
Jennifer seems amused, so Peter winks to her.
Male Student: I, oh--
Peter zaps him.
Male Atudent: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this!
Peter: You volunteered, didn't you? We're paying you, aren't we?
Male Student: Yeah, but I didn't know you were giving me electric shocks! What are you trying to prove here anyway?
Peter: I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability.
Male Student: The effect?! I'll tell you what the effect is! It's pissing me off!
Peter: Well, then maybe my theory is correct!
The male student rips the electrodes off his hands.
Male student: You can keep the five bucks, I've had it!
The male student runs out of the room and slams the door.
Peter: I will mister! (kindly, to Jennifer) You may as well get used to that, that's the kind of resentment that your ability is going to provoke in some people.
Jennifer: Do you think I have it, Dr. Venkman?
Peter: You're no fluke, Jennifer.
Dr. Raymond Stantz enters the room, all in a flurry.
Ray grabs stuff off the shelves.
Ray: This is it! This is definitely it! Did those UV lenses come in for the video camera? And that blank tape? I need it. The one you erased yesterday.
Peter: (to Jennifer) Can you excuse me for a second?
Jennifer: Sure.
Peter runs to Ray, jumps up and smacks him on the head.
Peter: I'm right in the middle of something, Ray! Ah, I need a little more time with this subject. Could you come back in an hour, hour and a half?
Ray: Peter, at 1:40 PM at the main branch of the New York Public Library on Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a free floating, full torso, vaporous apparition. It blew books off shelves from twenty feet away and scared the socks off some poor librarian!
Peter: I'm very excited. I'm very pleased. I want you to get right down there, check it out and get back to me.
Ray: No, no.
Peter: Get right back to me...
Ray: No, Peter you're coming with us on this one! Spengler went down there and took PKE valances. Went right off the top of the scale. Buried the needle! We're close on this one. I can feel it!
Peter: I can feel it. We're very, very close. (to Jennifer) I have to go now, Jennifer, but I'd like to work with you some more. Perhaps you could come back this evening, say at -
Jennifer: Eight o'clock?
Peter: I was just about to say eight o'clock! You are a legitimate phenomenon!
=== Outside New York Public Library ===
Peter is yelling at Ray all the way there.
Peter: As a friend I have to tell you: you've finally gone round the bend on this ghost business. You guys have been running your **s off meeting and greeting every schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a paranormal experience. What have you seen?
=== New York Public Library, reading room ===
Ray: Of course you forget, Peter, I was present at an undersea, unexplained, mass sponge migration.
Peter: Ooh, Ray, those sponges migrated about a foot and a half.
Dr. Egon Spengler is under the table, listening to it with a stethescope. Peter runs over to him and speaks in a zombie voice.
Peter: Egon...
Egon is puzzled. Peter raps table with knuckles, then slams it with a book. Egon is starled and jumps up.
Egon: Oh, you're here.
Peter: Yeah, what have you got?
Egon: This is big, Peter. This is very big. There is definitely something here.
Peter: Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. You remember that?
Egon: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.
A library administrator walks up to the three.
Roger Delicore: Hello. I'm Roger Delicore. Are you the men from the university?
Peter: (introducing them all) Yes. I'm Dr. Venkman. Dr. Stantz, Egon.
Roger Delicore: Thank you for coming. I hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly.
Peter: Let's not rush things. We don't even know what you have yet.
They go to a smaller room. Alice is lying on a table.
Alice: I don't remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms because it reached out for me.
Ray: Arms?! I can't wait to get a look at this thing!
Peter: Alice, I'm going to ask you a few standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family ever been diagnosed schizophrenic, mentally incompetent?
Alice: My uncle thought he was St. Jerome.
Peter: I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?
Alice: No!
Peter: No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?
Library administrator: What has that got to do with it?
Peter: Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
Egon: Ray, it's moving.
=== New York Public Library, basement ===
Egon is in front, with PKE meter. Ray has a video camera. Peter is in the back, bored stiff. He starts making scary gestures at Ray. They come to a tall tower of books.
Ray: Look!
Egon: This is hot, Ray.
Ray: Symmetrical book stacking, just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Peter: You're right. No human being would stack books like this.
Ray: Listen!
Eerie music.
Ray: You smell something?
They go to a card catalog; it is slimed.
Ray: Talk about telekinetic activity! Look at this mess!
Egon: Raymond, look at this.
Ray: Ectoplasmic residue.
Egon: Venkman, get a sample of this.
Ray: It's the real thing!
Peter: Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?
Egon: I'd like to analyze it.
As Ray and Egon continue talking, Peter scrapes slime into a dish. Gets it all over his hands. Groans and grunts. Flicks slime away. Wipes hands and feet on books.
Ray: There's more over here!
Egon: I'm getting stronger readings here, this way.
Ray: Come on.
They turn a corner. Peter gives Egon slime.
Peter: Egon, your mucus.
A bookshelf falls with a crash.
Peter: This happen to you before?
Ray shakes head.
Peter: Oh, first time?
Ray nods. They continue. Egon's PKE meter goes nuts. They see the library ghost.
Egon: It's here.
Ray: A full torso apparition, and it's real.
Peter: So what do we do?
Egon and Ray don't answer.
Peter: Could you come over here and talk to me for a second, please?
Peter pulls Ray by the ear.
Peter: Could you just come over here for a second, please? Right over here. Come here, Francine! Come here. What do we do?
Ray: I don't know. What do you think?
Egon starts with calculator, but Peter slaps it away.
Peter: Stop that!
Ray: We've got to make contact. One of us should actually try to speak to it.
Egon: Good idea.
They look to Peter. He groans and goes to the ghost. Ray starts taking pictures.
Peter: Hello. I'm Peter. Where are you from? Originally.
Library Ghost: Ssh.
Peter goes back.
Peter: All right. Okay, the usual stuff isn't working.
Ray: Okay, I have a plan. I know exactly what to do. Now stay close, stay close. I know. Do exactly as I say. Ready, ready, get her!
The library ghost turns into a monster and scares them. They run away. Music: Cleanin' Up The Town.
=== Outside New York Public Library ===
Peter, Ray and Egon run away.
Roger Delicore: Did you see it? What was it?
Peter: We'll get back to you!
Roger Delicore: What?!
=== Columbia University grounds ===
Peter, Ray and Egon go back to the lab. Peter is laughing at Ray.
Peter: Hee, hee, hee! Get her. That was your whole plan. Get her. It was scientific.
Ray: I just got overexcited. But wasn't it incredible, Pete? I mean, we actually touched the etheric plane. You know what this could mean to the university?
Peter: Yeah, it's gonna be bigger than the microchip. Ray, I'm very excited.
Egon is working with the calculator.
Egon: I wouldn't say the experience was totally wasted. According to these new readings, I think we have an excellent chance of actually catching a ghost and holding it indefinitely.
Ray: Well, this is great! If this ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads! In a spiritual sense, of course.
Peter: Spengs? You serious about this catching a ghost?
Egon: I'm always serious.
Peter: Egon, I'm gonna take back some of the things I've said about you. You... you've earned it.
Peter gives Egon a candy bar.
Their lab
Moving men cart stuff out of the room. DEAN YEAGER stands in wait. Music: I Can Wait Forever.
RAY
The possibilities are, are limitless! Hey, Dean Yeager!
PETER
I trust you're moving us to better quarters on campus.
DEAN YEAGER
No! You're being moved off campus. The board of regents has decided to terminate your grant. You are to vacate these premises immediately.
PETER
This is preposterous. I demand an explanation.
DEAN YEAGER
Fine. The university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities.
PETER
But the kids love us!
DEAN YEAGER
Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of dodge or hustle. Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable. You, Dr. Venkman, are a poor scientist.
PETER
I see.
DEAN YEAGER
And you have no place in this department or in this university.
Outside Columbia University
RAY is worriedly pacing. PETER is relaxing with a bottle.
RAY
This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn't touch us with a ten-meter cattle-prod.
PETER
You're always so concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk!
RAY
You know how much a patent clerk earns?
PETER
No!
RAY
Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities. We didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector. They expect results.
PETER
For whatever reasons, Ray, call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown out of this dump.
RAY
For what purpose?
PETER
To go into business for ourselves.
Offers RAY a drink. RAY drinks.
RAY
This ecto-containment system that Spengler and I have in mind is going to require a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we going to get the money?
PETER
I don't know. drinks I don't know.
=== Outside Manhattan City Bank ===
The three come out of the bank. Fanfare.
PETER
You're never going to regret this, Ray!
RAY
My parents left me that house! I was born there!
PETER
You're not going to lose the house. Everybody has three mortgages nowadays.
RAY
But at nineteen percent! You didn't even bargain with the guy!
EGON
flashing a calculator
Ray, for your information, the interest rate alone for the first five years comes to $95,000.
PETER
Will you guys relax? We are on the threshold of establishing the indispensable defense science of the next decade. Professional paranormal investigations and eliminations. The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams.
=== Outside Hook and Ladder No. 8 ===
The building's windows are whitewashed. We hear REAL ESTATE AGENT talking.
=== Inside Hook and Ladder No. 8 ===
REAL ESTATE WOMAN shows PETER and EGON the fire house.
REAL ESTATE WOMAN
There's office space, sleeping quarters and showers on the next floor and a full kitchen on the top left.
PETER
It just seems a little pricey for a unique fixer-upper opportunity, that's all. What do you think, Egon?
EGON
I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.
RAY
calling to them from upstairs
Hey! Does this pole still work?
slides down the fire pole
Wow! This place is great! When can we move in? You've got to try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff.
runs up stairs
Hey, we should stay here tonight. Sleep here! You know, to try it out!
PETER
I think we'll take it.
REAL ESTATE WOMAN
Good.
=== Outside Ivo Shandor Building ===
The building is huge and grandiose. Ominous music. Show the terror dog statues on the roof. DANA BARRETT gets out of a taxi and enters the building.
=== Inside Shandor Building ===
DANA gets off the elevator. Sees a neighbor.
DANA
Oh, hi.
LOUIS TULLY pops out of his apartment
LOUIS
Oh, Dana, it's you!
DANA
Oh, hi, yes Louis, it's me.
LOUIS
I thought it was the drugstore.
DANA
Oh, are you sick?
LOUIS
Oh! No, no, I'm fine, I feel great! Just ordered some more vitamins and stuff. I was just exercising. I taped a 20-minute workout and played it back at high speed on my machine so it only took ten minutes. I got a great workout.
DANA
Good.
LOUIS
You wanna come in for a mineral water or something?
DANA
Oh, I'd really like to, Louis, but I have to go rehearsal now. Excuse me.
LOUIS
No sweat, I'll take a rain check on that. I always have plenty of low sodium mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house. But you already know that.
DANA
Yeah, I know that.
LOUIS
Listen, that reminds me, I'm having a big party for all my clients, my fourth anniversary as an accountant, you know, and even though you do your own tax return, which you shouldn't do, I'd like you to stop by, being that you're my neighbor and all -
DANA (cutting him off) Well, thank you, Louis, I'll really try to stop by.
LOUIS
Listen, that reminds me, you shouldn't leave your TV on so loud when you go out. The creep down the hall phoned the manager.
DANA
That's strange, I didn't realize I'd left it on.
LOUIS
Well, yeah, you know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable, but I couldn't get in, so you know what I did? I turned my TV up real loud too so everyone would think all our TVs had something wrong with them -
DANA (closing her door on him) Bye, Louis.
LOUIS
Okay, so I'll see you later, huh?! I'll give you a call! I'm going to go have a shower. (tries to open his door, but he's locked himself out)
=== DANA's living room ===
DANA watches an ad on TV. In the ad: PETER, RAY and EGON stand outside the fire house wearing long blue coats and talk to the camera.
RAY
Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?
EGON
Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
PETER
Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter or ghost?
RAY
If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute. Pick up your phone and call the professionals.
PETER, RAY, EGON
Ghostbusters!
RAY
Our courteous and efficient staff is on call twenty-four hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.
PETER, RAY, EGON
We're ready to believe you!
Message flashes on screen: "GHOSTBUSTERS 555-2368".
DANA turns off TV.
=== DANA's kitchen ===
DANA lays some groceries out on the table. She turns around. Eggs tremble, leap out of their shells and cook on counter. Growling noise from fridge. DANA opens fridge.
The spirit world appears in front of her. A terror dog, ZUUL, jumps out in front of her.
ZUUL
roaring
Zuul!
DANA closes fridge, screaming
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
PETER watches Marty put up a sign, reading "GHOSTBUSTERS" in small type.
PETER
You don't think it's too subtle, Marty? You don't think people are going to drive down and not see the sign?
Marty shakes head. Dark blue hearse drives up.
You can't park that here!
RAY (getting out of car) Everybody can relax, I found the car! Needs some suspension work; and shocks, and brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear end -
PETER
How much?
RAY (as PETER groans) Only forty-eight hundred. And maybe new rings, also mufflers, a little wiring...
=== Inside Ghostbusters HQ ===
The secretary, JANINE MELNITZ, sits at her desk reading a magazine. PETER comes up.
PETER
Janine! Any calls?
JANINE
No.
PETER
Any messages?
JANINE
No.
PETER
Any customers?
JANINE
No, Dr. Venkman.
PETER
It's a good job, isn't it? Type something, will you? We're paying you for this stuff!... Don't stare at me, you got them bug eyes... Janine! Sorry about the bug eyes thing. I'll be in my office.
PETER goes off. EGON pops up out from under JANINE's desk.
JANINE
You're very handy. I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
EGON
Print is dead.
JANINE
Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual, but I think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play racquetball. Do you have any hobbies?
EGON
I collect spores, molds and fungus.
DANA enters
DANA
Hello? (goes to JANINE) Oh. Excuse me. This, this is the Ghostbusters' office?
JANINE (filing nails) Yes, it is. Can I help you?
DANA
I don't have an appointment. I'd like to talk to someone, please.
PETER (bolting out of his office) I'm Peter Venkman. May I help you?
DANA
Well, I don't know. What I'm about to say may sound a little unusual.
PETER
Oh, that's all we get day in, day out around this place. Come into my office, Miss -
DANA
Barrett, Dana Barrett.
=== Lab in fire house ===
DANA is hooked up to a machine. As she talks, PETER, RAY and EGON watch a monitor which turns her head different colors.
DANA
And this voice said "Zuul". And then I slammed the refrigerator door and I left. That was two days ago, and I haven't been back to my apartment.
PETER
Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance. What do you think it was?
DANA
Well, if I knew what it was I wouldn't be here.
PETER
Egon, what do you think?
EGON (shining a head lamp in PETER's eyes) She's telling the truth. At least, she thinks she is.
DANA
Well, of course I'm telling the truth! Who would make up a story like that?
PETER
Some are people who just want attention. Others, just nutballs who come in off the street.
RAY
You know what it could be? Past-life experience intruding on present time.
EGON
Could be erased memories stored in the collective unconscious. I wouldn't rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact, either.
DANA
I'm sorry, I don't believe in any of those things.
PETER
Well, that's all right. I don't either. But there are some things we do. Standard procedures we carry out in a case like this which often bring us results.
RAY
Well, I could go down to the hall of records and check out the structural details in the building. Maybe the building itself has a history of psychic turbulence.
PETER (nodding) Right, go do that.
EGON
I could look for the name Zuul in the usual literature.
RAY
Spates Catalog.
EGON
Tobin's Spirit Guide.
RAY
Yeah.
PETER
Tell you what. I'll take Miss Barrett back to her apartment and check her out - I'll go check out Miss Barrett's apartment, okay?
(knows he's said the wrong thing; groans to himself)
DANA
Okay, thank you.
=== DANA's living room ===
PETER and DANA enter.
PETER
Let me. If something's gonna happen here I want it to happen to me first.
Opens a few closet doors. Nothing happens.
DANA
The closet.
PETER goes to the piano. Plays the two highest notes over and over.
PETER
They hate this. I like to torture them. That's right, boys. It's Dr. Venkman!
(works a tool) A lot of space. Just you?
DANA
Yes.
PETER
Good.
DANA
What is that thing you're doing?
PETER
It's technical. It's one of our little toys.
DANA
I see. That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
PETER
What a crime.
DANA
You know, you don't act like a scientist.
PETER
They're usually pretty stiff.
DANA
You're more like a game show host.
The words sting PETER.
PETER
That's the kitchen, huh?
=== DANA's kitchen ===
PETER
Dana, are these the eggs?
DANA
Yes, see, I was over there, and the eggs just jumped right out of their shells and started to cook right on the counter.
PETER
That is weird.
DANA
And that's when I to hear that awful noise from the refrigerator. (PETER starts using his tool again_ Dr. Venkman, you've come all this way. Would you like to examine the refrigerator?
PETER
I'll check the fridge. Good call. Oh, my God! (DANA is worried) Look at all the junk food!
DANA
No, God **** it! Look, this wasn't here.
PETER
You actually eat this stuff?
DANA
Look! This wasn't here! There was nothing here! There was a space, and there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and creatures riding around and they were growling and snarling! And there were flames! And I heard a voice say Zuul! It was right here!
PETER
I'm sorry, I'm just not getting any reading.
DANA
Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly?
PETER
Well, I think so. But I'm sure there are no animals in there.
DANA
Well, that's great. Either there's a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.
PETER
I don't think you're crazy.
DANA
(sarcastically) Good, that makes me feel so much better.
DANA's living room
PETER
Let me tell you something about myself. I come home from work to my place and all I have is my work. There's nothing else in my life!
DANA
Dr. Venkman -
PETER
I meet you, and I say, my God, there's someone with the same problem I have!
DANA
Yes. We both have the same problem. You!
PETER
I'm gonna go for broke. I am madly in love with you.
DANA
I don't believe this. Will you please leave?
PETER
(to an invisible audience)
And then she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a creep, she thought I was a geek and she probably wasn't the first...
DANA
You are so odd... No.
PETER
(turning around)
I've got it!
DANA
No, no, no, no, no.
PETER
I'll prove myself to you!
DANA
guiding him out
That's not necessary.
PETER
Yeah. I'll solve your little problem.
DANA
Okay...
PETER
And then you'll say, "Pete Venkman's a guy who can get things done!"
DANA
Right.
PETER
"I wonder what makes him tick!"
DANA
I wonder!
PETER
"I wonder if he'd be interested in knowing what makes me tick?"
DANA
Right!
PETER
I bet you're going to be thinking about me after I'm gone.
DANA
I bet I am!
(Pushes him out the door. He sticks his face back in.)
PETER
No kiss?
(pushes his face out door and slams it shut)
=== Corridor ===
LOUIS comes out, then tries to go back in, but he's locked himself out. PETER leaves.
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
Night.
=== Inside Ghostbusters HQ; upstairs ===
The Ghostbusters dine on takeout Chinese. Music: In The Name Of Love.
PETER
To our first customer.
RAY
(To our first and only customer.)
They toast with soda cans.
PETER
I got to take out some petty cash. We should take her out to dinner. We don't want to lose her.
RAY
Uh, this magnificent feast here represents the last of the petty cash.
PETER
Slow down. Chew your food.
=== By JANINE's desk ===
Phone rings.
JANINE
Hello, Ghostbusters. Yes, of course they're serious. - You do? You have? No kidding?... Uh-huh. Well, just give me the address. Yes, of course. Oh, they'll be totally discreet. Thank you.
(hangs up)
We got one!
(slams down alarm bell)
=== Upstairs ===
RAY
It's a call!
Music: Cleanin' Up The Town. They slide down the fire pole.
=== Downstairs ===
They slide down the fire pole and suit up.
RAY
Come on!
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
Ecto-1 drives off wildly.
=== Outside Sedgewick Hotel ===
Ecto-1 drives up. Close-up on Ghostbusters logo.
=== Lobby of Sedgewick Hotel ===
The Ghostbusters enter.
PETER
Hey, anybody seen a ghost?
A pretty lady goes by. They all stare appreciatively.
HOTEL MANAGER
Thank you for coming so quickly! The guests are starting to ask questions and I'm running out of excuses.
RAY
Has it happened before?
HOTEL MANAGER
Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor; the disturbances, I mean. But it's been quiet for years! Up until two weeks ago. It was never, ever this bad, though!
EGON
Did you ever report it to anyone?
HOTEL MANAGER
Heavens! No!
PETER
Oh, no. You kidding?
HOTEL MANAGER
The owners don't even like us to talk about it. I hope we can take care of this. Quietly! Tonight!
RAY
Yes sir, don't worry. We handle this kind of thing all the time!
(they go up to an elevator)
MAN AT ELEVATOR
What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?
PETER
No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve.
MAN AT ELEVATOR
That's gotta be some cockroach.
PETER
Bite your head off, man.
(elevator arrives)
RAY
Going up?
MAN AT ELEVATOR
I'll take the next one.
=== Elevator ===
RAY
You know, it just occurred to me, we haven't had a completely successful test of this equipment.
EGON
I blame myself.
PETER
So do I.
RAY
No sense worrying about it now.
PETER
Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
RAY
Yep. Let's get ready. Switch me on!
EGON charges RAY's proton pack, then backs away
=== Twelth floor ===
The Ghostbusters exit the elevator. EGON charges his proton pack.
RAY
Come on.
CHAMBERMAID enters. RAY and EGON shout and blast her cart with proton beams.
PETER
Hold it!
CHAMBERMAID
What the **** are you doing?
EGON
Sorry.
PETER
Sorry.
RAY
I'm sorry.
PETER
We thought you were someone else. Successful test.
RAY
I guess so. I think we'd better split up.
EGON
Good idea.
PETER
Yeah, we can do more damage that way.
EGON goes down a hallway, with his PKE meter.
RAY walks around, smoking. Sees Slimer pigging out at a room service cart. Is shocked. Cigarette falls out of his mouth.
RAY
Venkman! Venkman! Ugh... disgusting blob! I'm going to have to hold it myself...
Charges pack, aims and fires. Startles Slimer. He flies through the wall. Cart smashes a table and a vase.
EGON pokes a man to see if he's a ghost. PETER sees Slimer. Talks into walkie-talkie.
PETER
Come in, Ray.
RAY
(unhooking walkie-talkie)
Venkman! I saw it! I saw it! I saw it!
PETER
It's right here, Ray. It's looking at me.
RAY
(voice over walkie-talkie)
He's an ugly little spud, isn't he?
PETER
I think he can hear you, Ray.
RAY
(voice over walkie-talkie)
Don't move. It won't hurt you. (Slimer flies towards PETER. PETER screams and covers face. RAY runs to help.) Venkman! Venkman! Pete! (RAY arrives. Slimer is gone. PETER is dripping in slime.) Venkman! What happened? Are you okay?
PETER
(spitting out slime)
He slimed me.
RAY
That's great! Actual physical contact! Can you move?
EGON
(voice over walkie-talkie)
Ray? Ray! Come in please!
PETER
I feel so funky.
RAY
Spengler! I'm with Venkman! He got slimed!
EGON
That's great, Ray! Save some for me! Get down here right away. It just went into a ballroom!
=== Lobby ===
RAY talks to HOTEL MANAGER regarding the bust.
RAY
Okay, sir. If you and your staff will just wait out here, we'll take care of it.
=== Ballroom ===
The Ghostbusters hide under a table. RAY scans with his ecto-goggles and sees Slimer near a chandilier.
RAY
There it is, on the ceiling.
PETER
That's the one that got me. (they come out from under table)
RAY
All right, boys. Ready? Throw it!
They fire. Slimer flies away. The chandilier falls on a table and smashes.
=== Lobby ===
HOTEL MANAGER is worried. He tries to open door. Finds it locked.
=== Ballroom ===
RAY
I did that! I did that! That's my fault!
PETER
That's okay. The table broke the fall.
EGON
There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
PETER
What?
EGON
Don't cross the streams.
PETER
Why?
EGON
It would be bad.
PETER
I'm fuzzy on the whole good-bad thing. What do you mean, bad?
EGON
Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
RAY
Total protonic reversal.
PETER
All right, that's bad, okay. Important safety tip, don't cross the streams. Thanks, Egon. All right. Ray, take the left. Egon, take the right. Okay, Ray. Give me one eye on the outside... Ray! (RAY fires. Slimer screams and flies away.) Egon! (EGON fires. Destroys crystal glasses, a layer cake, etc. Slimer flies behind a bar. EGON fires. Keeps firing even after Slimer flies away.) Okay, all right, hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Whoa! Nice shooting, Tex! (Slimer hides at the ceiling)
=== Lobby ===
HOTEL MANAGER
I assure you, Mrs. Van Hoffman, there is nothing wrong with the room. It will be ready promptly, in time, as soon as your guests are with us.
=== Ballroom ===
RAY
The last throw took something out of him, but he's gonna move! I need some; I need some room to put the trap down. Give me some room.
EGON chucks a table
=== Lobby ===
HOTEL MANAGER
to MRS. VAN HOFFMAN
If you'll excuse me, please.
sends a bellhop to get security
=== Ballroom ===
RAY
We gotta get this in the clear!
PETER
Wait, wait! I always wanted to do this.
pulls tablecloth out from under table, knocking everything but flowers over
And the flowers are still standing!
RAY sends out the trap
RAY
Okay, on my go signal. Spengler, I want a confinement stream from you. Okay? Go!
EGON fires and hits Slimer
Okay, hold him up there. He's gonna move. Hold him up. Go!
PETER fires and hits
EGON
It's working, Ray!
RAY
Start bringing him down. Start bringing him down. You got him. Don't cross the streams.
PETER
Maybe now you'll never slime a guy with a positron collider, huh?
EGON
Venkman, shorten your stream! I don't want my face burned off!
RAY
All right. I'm opening the trap now; don't look directly into the trap!
opens trap
EGON
his eyes widening
I looked at the trap, Ray.
RAY
Bring your streams off as soon as I close the trap. Get ready. I'm closing it, now! Closes trap.
PETER and EGON stop firing and look away. Slimer is sucked into trap. The Ghostbusters look at it, keeping their guns pointed at it.
EGON
(shoving trap with foot; makes blue lightning)
It's in there.
PETER
(to Slimer)
Hey!
RAY
Well, that wasn't such a chore, now, was it?
=== Lobby ===
A crowd has gathered.
HOTEL MANAGER
Mr. Smith, quickly. I want that door open now! Stand over there!
PETER
We came, we saw, we kicked its **s!
HOTEL MANAGER
Did you see it? What is it?
RAY
We got it!
HOTEL MANAGER
What is it? Will there be any more of them?
RAY
Sir, what you have there is what we refer to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class Five full roaming vapor. Real nasty one, too!
PETER
Now, Let's talk seriously, now. For the entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones. Four thousand dollars for that. But we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast, and that's only going to come to one thousand dollars, fortunately.
HOTEL MANAGER
Five thousand dollars? I had no idea it would be so much. I won't pay it.
PETER
Well, that's all right! We can just put it right back in there.
RAY
We certainly can, Dr. Venkman.
HOTEL MANAGER
No, no, no, no! All right! I'll pay anything!
PETER
Thanks so much.
RAY
Thank you! Hope we can help you again! All right, coming through! Watch out! Class Five full roaming vapor! Watch out!
Begin musical montage. Music: Ghostbusters.
=== An apartment ===
A woman does crunches while ROGER GRIMSBY gives the news.
ROGER GRIMSBY
Good evening, I'm Roger Grimsby. Today the entire eastern seaboard is alive with talk of incidents of paranormal activity. Alleged ghost sightings and related supernatural occurrences have been reported across the entire tri-state area.
=== New York City street ===
JOE FRANKLIN
Well, everybody's heard ghost stories around the campfire. Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm where she grew up! But now, as if some unperceived authority...
=== Ghostbusters HQ; bedroom ===
Alarm bell rings. PETER, RAY and EGON run out, still in their sleeping clothes. USA Today wipes to:
=== Street ===
Ecto-1 rushes past. New York Post wipes to:
=== Outside Chinese restaurant ===
A Chinese man gives PETER and RAY some free Peking duck. They bow in thanks.
=== Outside a building ===
RAY wields a trap.
RAY
Stand aside please!
=== A street ===
Ecto-1 drives up. We hear LARRY KING talking. Time wipes to:
=== LARRY KING's studio ===
LARRY KING
Hi, this is Larry King. The phone-in topic today: ghosts and ghostbusting. The controversy builds, more sightings are reported. Some maintain these professional paranormal eliminators in New York are the cause of it all.
=== Rockefeller Center ===
PETER, RAY and EGON run along. Omni wipes to:
=== Outside a building ===
EGON comes out, with a trap.
EGON
I got it! Pete? Ray!
=== Outside yet another building ===
PETER, RAY and EGON triumphantly exit to a cheering crowd. RAY waves trap. Atlantic Monthly wipes to:
=== A street ===
The Ghostbusters run down, brandishing proton guns. CASEY KASEM talks. His broadcast runs into the next scene.
CASEY KASEM
Still making headlines all across the country, the Ghostbusters are at it again, this time at the fashionable dance club, The Rose. The boys in gray slugged it out with a pretty pesky poltergeist, then stayed on to dance the night away with some of the lovely ladies who witnessed the disturbance. This is Casey Kasem! Now on with the countdown.
=== DANA's kitchen ===
DANA listens to CASEY KASEM. Laughs and sips champagne.
=== A building ===
PETER
Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! No job is too big! No fee is too big!
=== Ghostbusters HQ; JANINE's desk ===
JANINE
(on phone)
Is it just a mist, or does it have arms and legs?
=== An apartment ===
A woman watches the news as she strings her cello.
TV REPORTER
(to RAY
)As they say in TV, I'm sure there's one big question on everybody's mind and I imagine you are the man to answer it. How is Elvis? And have you seen him lately?
Globe wipes to:
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
Ecto-1 drives up. Two people ask the tired PETER for autographs.
=== Ghostbusters HQ; Bedroom ===
The Ghostbusters sleep. Swirl to dream sequence with dream music.
=== RAY's dream ===
RAY lies in bed. DREAM GHOST hovers above him and vanishes. Then she disappears. An unseen force unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. His eyes cross and his head knocks back in pleasure overload.
=== Ghostbusters HQ; Bedroom ===
RAY falls out of bed.
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
WINSTON ZEDDEMORE, bearing a newspaper ad, looks up at the Ghostbusters logo sign. Wind down Ghostbusters theme.
=== JANINE's desk ===
JANINE interviews WINSTON over the job.
JANINE
Do you believe in UFOs, astral projection, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trans-mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
WINSTON
If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.
A tired PETER and RAY enter.
RAY
Boy, I've gotta get some sleep. I'm dying.
PETER
You don't look good.
RAY
I don't?
PETER
You've looked better. You didn't used to look like this.
(to JANINE)
Here's the paper for the woman out in Brooklyn. She paid with Visa.
JANINE
Here's tonight's worksheet.
RAY
Oh, great! Two more free repeaters.
JANINE
This is Winston Zeddemore. He's here about the job.
RAY
Beautiful. You're hired. Ray Stantz, Pete Venkman. Congratulations. Can you help me, please?
(gives WINSTON some traps)
Welcome aboard!
=== Outside Carnegie Hall ===
DANA and VIOLINIST exit the building.
DANA
I don't know where they get these guest conductors. Someone should tell him that it's not going to do much good to scream at us in German.
VIOLINIST
Well, I don't think the man is competent to conduct a major symphony orchestra.
DANA sees PETER
DANA
Um, could you wait here a minute?
VIOLINIST
Uh, sure.
DANA
(going to PETER)
Dr. Venkman, this is a surprise.
PETER
That was a wonderful rehearsal.
DANA
You heard that?
PETER
Yes. You're the best one in your row.
DANA
Oh, thank you. You're good. Most people can't hear me with the whole orchestra playing.
PETER
Hey, I don't have to take this abuse from you. I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.
DANA
I know. You're a big celebrity now. Do you have some information on my case?
PETER
(indicating VIOLINIST)
Who's the stiff?
DANA
The stiff happens to be one of the finest musicians in the world! Now do you have some information for me, please?
PETER
Sure, but I'd prefer to give it to you in private.
DANA
Why don't you tell me now?
PETER
Well, okay. I found the name Zuul for you. The name Zuul refers to a demi-god worshipped around 6000 BC by the - what's that word?
DANA
Hittites.
PETER
Hittites, the Mesopotamians and the Sumerians.
DANA
(reading PETER's notes)
Zuul was the minion of Gozer. What's Gozer?
PETER
Gozer was very big in Sumeria. Big guy.
DANA
Well, what's he doing in my icebox?
PETER
I'm working on that. If we could get together Thursday night, I'm thinking nine-ish, you know, we could exchange information.
DANA
I can't see you Thursday, I'm busy!
PETER
Miss Barrett, you seem to think there is something wrong up here in your mind that says: he enjoys taking his evenings off and spending them with his clients. No. I'm making a special exception in your case. Because... I respect you. It's corny but I respect you as artist. And as a dresser, too! This is a magnificent coordination you have going here today.
DANA
All right. I'll see you Thursday.
PETER
I'll bring The Roylance Guide and we'll eat and read!
DANA and VIOLINIST walk off
VIOLINIST
So! Who the **** was that?
DANA
Just a friend.
VIOLINIST
A friend?
DANA
An old friend.
PETER
Right, I'll see you Thursday! I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you, sir! And I'm glad you're feeling much better. You're still very pale, though! A little sun...
VIOLINIST
What's he do?
DANA
Oh, he's a scientist.
PETER spins around as upbeat music plays
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
We see the building as the music winds down.
=== Ghostbusters HQ; Basement ===
RAY shows WINSTON ecto-containment unit.
RAY
This is where we put all the vapors and entities and slimers that we trap. Quite simple, really. Load a trap here, open, unlock the system. Insert the trap, release, close, lock the system. Set your entry grid, neutralize your field andÉ the light is green, the trap is clean. The ghost is incarcerated here in a custom-made storage facility.
=== JANINE's desk ===
JANINE
There's a man from the EPA here to see you. He's waiting in your office.
PETER
EPA? What's he want?
JANINE
I don't know. All I do know is that I've been working two weeks without a break and you promised me you'd hire more help.
PETER
Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries. You gonna answer that?
JANINE
I've quit better jobs than this.
(picks up phone)
Ghostbusters! What do you want?!
PETER's office
(WALTER PECK stands in wait.)
PETER
Can I help you?
PECK
I'm Walter Peck. I represent the Environmental Protection Agency, the third district.
PETER
Great! How's it going down there?
(slaps PECK on back)
PECK
Are you Peter Venkman?
PETER
Yes, I'm Dr. Venkman.
PECK
Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman?
PETER
Well, I have PhD's in parapsychology and psychology.
PECK
I see. And now you catch ghosts?
PETER
Yeah, you could say that.
PECK
And how many ghosts have you caught, Mr. Venkman?
PETER
I'm not at liberty to say.
PECK
And where do you put these ghosts, once you catch them?
PETER
In a storage facility.
PECK
And would this storage facility be located on these premises?
PETER
Yes.
PECK
And may I see this storage facility?
PETER
No.
PECK
And why not, Mr. Venkman?
PETER
Because you did not use the magic word.
PECK
What is the magic word, Mr. Venkman?
PETER
Please!
PECK
May I please see the storage facility?
PETER
Why do you want to see the storage facility?
PECK
Well, because I'm curious. I want to know more about what you do here! Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we want to **sess for any possible environmental impact from your operation! For instance, the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste chemicals in your basement! Now you either show me what is down there or I come back with a court order.
PETER
You go get a court order! And I'll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution.
PECK
You can have it your way, Mr. Venkman.
=== Basement ===
EGON
I'm worried, Ray. It's getting crowded in there. And all my recent data points to something big on the horizon.
WINSTON
What do you mean, big?
EGON
Well. Let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
RAY coughs violently
WINSTON
That's a big Twinkie.
EGON nods and eats his Twinkie.
RAY
We could be on the verge of a fourfold crossrip! A PKE surge of incredible, even dangerous proportions!
PETER
(coming down stairs)
We just had a visit from the Environmental Protection Agency. How's the grid holding up?
RAY
Not good.
WINSTON
Tell him about the Twinkie.
PETER
What about the Twinkie?
=== Ivo Shandor Building ===
Lightning strikes the huge building.
The terror dog statues on the roof begin to crumble, revealing the real terror dogs inside.
=== On Floor 22 ===
DANA gets off the elevator. She passes LOUIS's apartment. Tries to sneak by quietly, but LOUIS runs out to greet her. Music: Hot Night.
LOUIS
Oh, Dana, it's you!
DANA
Hello, Louis.
LOUIS
You gotta come in here! You're missing a classic party!
DANA
Yes, well, I would, Louis. But I have a date.
LOUIS
(disappointed)
You made a date tonight?
DANA
Well, I'm sorry, Louis. I forgot.
LOUIS
Well, that's okay. You can bring him along!
DANA
All right, maybe we'll stop by. Okay? (goes into apartment)
LOUIS
That's great, I'll tell everybody you're coming. We're gonna play Twister and we're gonna do some break dancing. Hey, everybody - (can't open door; has locked himself out... again) Hey, let me in! It's Louis, somebody let me in!
=== DANA's living room ===
DANA starts to change. Phone rings.
DANA
Hello? Oh, hi Mom. - I've been busy. - No, everything is fine. Just that one time. - I will. - I won't. - Mom, I have to go. I have a date. - Yes. - No, no one you know. It's, um- Well, he's a Ghostbuster. Those guys on TV. - Yes, well, I'll have to let you know. Love to Dad. Right. Bye. - Bye! (Hangs up. Growling noise.) Oh sh*t.
(Claw from her chair grabs her. Another shuts her mouth. She screams and screams. Chair swivels around. Door opens. A terror dog growls at her. Chair rushes out the door.
=== Ivo Shandor Building; Roof ===
Terror dog statues are crumbled.
=== LOUIS's apartment ===
Music: Disco Inferno.
WOMAN AT PARTY
Do you have any Excedrin or Extra Strength Tylenol?
LOUIS
Gee, I think all I got is this cedacelacytic acid. Generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of the name brand. Makes good financial sense. Good advice. Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound. It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though. I'm giving this whole thing as a promotional expense. That's why I invited clients instead of friends. You having a good time, Marv? How ya doing? Why don't you have some of the Brie? It's at room temperature! You think it's too warm in here for the Brie?
TALL WOMAN AT PARTY
Louis, I'm going home.
LOUIS
Oh, don't leave yet. Listen, maybe if we start dancing, other people will join in.
TALL WOMAN AT PARTY
Okay!
They dance. Doorbell rings.
LOUIS
Oh, don't move. I just gotta get the door. (opens door to reveal TED FLEMING and ANNETTE FLEMING) Ted! Annette! Hi! How you doing? Give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming. Ted has a small carpet-cleaning business in receivership, and that's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago. They've got fifteen thousand left on the house at 8%; so they're okay! (throws coats into closet on top of a terror dog) So, does anybody want to play Parcheesi? (growling) Okay! Who brought the dog?
Terror dog jumps out. Party guests scream. TALL WOMAN AT PARTY jumps out window. LOUIS runs away.
=== Corridor ===
Terror dog smashes through door. LOUIS runs into elevator. LOUIS'S NEIGHBOR leaves her apartment. Sees terror dog, yells and runs back in.
=== Outside Ivo Shandor Building ===
LOUIS (running) Help! There's a bear loose in my apartment! Help, help! Help!
jumps over a wall
DOORMAN
A bear in his apartment?
terror dog runs out, knocks DOORMAN over and jumps over wall
=== Tavern-on-the-Green ===
LOUIS runs.
LOUIS
I'm going to bring this up at the next tenant's meeting. There's not supposed to be any pets in the building. (bangs on windows) There's gotta be in a way in. Somebody let me in! (keeps screaming, then turns to face terror dog) Nice doggie. Cute little pooch. Maybe I got a Milk-Bone...
Terror dog growls. LOUIS screams. Restaurant guests are quiet for a couple of seconds, then resume normal conversation.
=== Outside Ivo Shandor Building ===
PETER
What happened?
POLICE CAPTAIN
Some moron brought a cougar to a party and it went berserk.
PETER
(to DOORMAN)
Hi, I'm going up to Dana Barrett's.
DOORMAN shows him in
=== Floor 22 ===
Police question partygoers about LOUIS.
PARTY GUESTS
T, u, l, l, y.
No!
He ran out!
PETER knocks on DANA's door.
PETER
Hello?
(DANA has become ZUUL. Eerie music plays. She has wild hair and a bright orange dress.) That's a different look for you, isn't it?
DANA
Are you the Keymaster?
PETER
Not that I know of.
She slams door in his face. He knocks again.
DANA
Are you the Keymaster?
PETER
Yes.
=== Inside DANA's apartment ===
PETER
I'm a friend of his. He told me to meet him here. I didn't get your name.
DANA
I am Zuul. I am the Gatekeeper.
PETER
What are we doing today, Zuul?
DANA
We must prepare for the coming of Gozer.
PETER
Gozer, huh?
DANA
The Destructor.
PETER
Are we still going out? You know, you could pick up the place if you're expecting someone.
DANA
(flops on bed, writhing up and down)
Do you want this body?
PETER
Is this a trick question? I guess the roses worked, huh.
DANA
Take me now, subcreature.
PETER
We never talk any more.
(DANA grabs him and pulls him down)
I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people. Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule.
she rolls them over
DANA
I want you inside me.
PETER
Go ahead! No, I can't, sounds like you've already got at least two people in there already.
(breaks free)
Might a little crowded. Now, why don't you quit trying to upset and disturb Dr. Venkman and just relax. Lie down there, relax. Put your hands on your chest. Yes. What I'd like to do is talk to Dana. I wanna talk to Dana. Dana? It's Peter.
DANA
There is no Dana. There is only Zuul.
PETER
Whoa, Zuulie you nut. Now come on. Come on. I want to talk to Dana. Dana, Dana. Relax, come on. Dana, Dana. Can I talk to Dana?
DANA smiles a vicious smile. The voice of ZUUL eminates from her.
ZUUL
There is no Dana, only Zuul!
PETER
What a lovely singing voice you must have. Now I'm going to count to three, Zuulie, and if I don't get to hear Dana, there's going to be some real trouble in this apartment, I think. One! Two! (DANA's eyes flutter and turn white) Two and a half! (The voice of ZUUL screams. DANA rises above the bed.) Please come down.
ZUUL roars
Central Park
LOUIS has become Vinz Clortho. He runs around talking to himself.
LOUIS
I am the Keymaster! The Destructor will come, the Traveler! The Destroyer! Gatekeeper!
(approaches a horse on a wagon)
I am Vinz. Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer, Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper?
COACHMAN
Hey, he pulls the wagon, I make the deals. You wanna ride?
LOUIS's eyes flare red. He talks to the horse again.
LOUIS
Wait for the sign, and our prisoners will be released.
(running away)
You will perish in flame! Soon as I find the Gatekeeper!
COACHMAN
What an **shole.
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
POLICE CAPTAIN knocks on door. JANINE answers.
JANINE
Dropping off or picking up?
POLICE CAPTAIN
Dropping off.
JANINE
Just a moment.
EGON comes out with JANINE
POLICE CAPTAIN
You a Ghostbuster?
EGON
Yes.
POLICE CAPTAIN
We picked up this guy, now we don't know what to do with him. Belleve doesn't want him and I'm afraid to put him in the lock-up. And I know you guys are into this stuff, so I figured we'd check with you.
EGON
All right.
LOUIS is in the van in a straight jacket.
LOUIS
Are you the Gatekeeper?
EGON runs a PKE meter over LOUIS and watches the readings climb
EGON
You'd better bring him inside.
JANINE
You are so kind to take care of that poor man. You know, you're a real humanitarian.
EGON
I don't think he's human.
=== Ghostbusters HQ lab ===
EGON
What'd you say your name was?
LOUIS
Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer.
JANINE
(looking at LOUIS's wallet)
Well, according to this, his name's Louis Tully. Lives on Central Park West. Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tully?
LOUIS
Do I?
EGON
Yes, have some.
LOUIS
Yes, have some.
EGON
Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
LOUIS
Gozer the Traveler! He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the Rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveler came as a large and moving Torb! Then, during the Third Reconciliation of the Last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him, that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar that day, I can tell you!
JANINE
Egon?
EGON
(going to JANINE, talking to LOUIS)
Excuse me.
JANINE
There's something very strange about that man...
(LOUIS is sniffing a jar of popcorn)
Listen, I'm usually very psychic, and I'm have a terrible feeling that something awful is going to happen to you. I'm afraid you're going to die.
EGON holds JANINE in his arms. Phone rings. LOUIS jumps.
EGON
I'll get it!
(Picks up. LOUIS drags the rest of the phone over to him.)
Hello? Thanks, I've got it.
=== DANA's apartment ===
PETER
Egon, it's Peter. I have some news from the world of Gozer.
EGON
(over phone)
What is it, Peter?
PETER
I'm here with Dana Barrett. It seems that the Goz' has been putting some moves on my would-be girlfriend!
EGON
How is she?
PETER
I think we can get her a guest shot on Wild Kingdom. I just whacked her up with about 300 cc's of thorozine. She's going to take a little nap now. She says she's the Gatekeeper, does that make any sense to you?
=== Ghostbusters HQ ===
EGON
Some. I've just met the Keymaster. He's here with me now.
PETER
(over phone)
Oh, wonderful, we have to get these two together.
LOUIS takes a slice of pizza, sniffs it and sticks it on his cheek
EGON
I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.
PETER
Okay, well, hold on to him. I'll be over there in a little while.
EGON
Good.
(LOUIS takes phone from EGON.)
Thank you, Vinz.
(to JANINE)
We have to find Ray. I need him here immediately.
=== DANA's apartment ===
DANA lies on her bed, asleep.
PETER
Bad news, honey. I gotta go to work. Hey, will you stay here in bed until I get back?
(kisses her)
=== Brooklyn Bridge ===
Ecto-1 drives across the bridge. WINSTON drives. RAY is studying blueprints.
WINSTON
Hey, Ray, do you believe in God?
RAY
Never met him.
WINSTON
Yeah, well I do. And I love Jesus's style, you know.
RAY
... this roof cap is made of a magnesium-tungsten alloy...
WINSTON
What are you so involved in there?
RAY
These are the blueprints for the structural ironwork for Dana's apartment building, and they're very, very strange.
WINSTON
Hey, Ray. Do you remember something in the Bible about the last days, when the dead would rise from the grave?
RAY
I remember Revelation 7:12. And I looked, as he opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake, and the sun became as black as sackcloth. And the moon became as blood.
WINSTON
And the seas boiled and the skies fell.
RAY
Judgment Day.
WINSTON
Judgment Day.
RAY
Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.
WINSTON
Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is because the dead have been rising from the grave?
(long pause)
RAY
(shivering)
How about a little music?
WINSTON
Yeah.
Ecto-1 drives onward.
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
Police cars drive up. A man gives PECK a manila folder.
=== Inside Ghostbusters HQ ===
PECK enters, with POLICE CAPTAIN and CON EDISON MAN.
PECK
This way.
JANINE
Excuse me. Excuse me! Just where do you think you're going?
PECK
Stand aside, miss, or I'll have you arrested for interfering with a police -
JANINE
Oh no, hold on! I've seen TV, I know you can't come in here without a writ or warrant or something!
PECK
(brandishing manila folder)
Cease and desist all commerce order, seizure of premises and chattels, ban on use of public utilities for unauthorized waste handlers, and a federal entry and inspection order.
he continues on
=== Basement ===
EGON
Vinz, there's one more test I'd like to perform -
JANINE runs down. PECK, POLICE CAPTAIN and CON EDISON MAN follow.
JANINE
Egon, I tried to stop them! He says they have a warrant.
EGON
Excuse me, this is private property!
PECK
pointing out ecto-containment unit
Shut this off. Shut these all off.
EGON
I'm warning you, turning off these machines would be extremely hazardous.
PECK
I'll tell you what's hazardous. You're facing federal prosecution for at least half a dozen environmental violations. Now either you shut these beams off or we shut them off for you.
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
A taxi drops PETER off.
=== Ghostbusters HQ; basement ===
EGON
Try to understand. This is a high voltage laser containment system. Simply turning it off would be like dropping a bomb on the city.
PECK
Don't patronize me! I'm not grotesquely stupid like the people you bilk!
PETER
(coming down stairs)
At ease, officer. I'm Peter Venkman. I think there's just been a slight misunderstanding and I wanna to cooperate in any way that I can.
PECK
Forget it, Venkman! You had your chance to cooperate, but you thought it'd be more fun to insult me. Well, now it is my turn, wise **s.
EGON
He wants to shut down the protection grid, Peter.
PETER
You shut that thing down and we are not going to be held responsible for whatever happens.
PECK
On the contrary! You're going to be held responsible.
PETER
No! We won't be held responsible!
PECK
Shut it off!
PETER
Don't shut it off. I'm warning you.
CON EDISON MAN
I - I've never seen anything like this before.
PECK
I'm not interested in your opinion, just shut it off.
PETER
(stopping CON EDISON MAN)
My friend, don't be a jerk.
POLICE CAPTAIN
Step aside!
PECK
If he does that again, you can shoot him.
POLICE CAPTAIN
You do your job, pencil neck! Don't tell me how to do mine!
PETER
Thank you, officer.
PECK
Shut it off!
PETER starts up stairs. EGON makes an explosion with his fingers in POLICE CAPTAIN's face, mouthing "Boom".
CON ED MAN pulls red lever. Alarms goes off. Lights flash.
=== DANA's apartment ===
DANA trembles.
=== Ghostbusters HQ; basement ===
Walls tremble. Bricks pop out. Everyone starts running.
CON EDISON MAN
Oh sh*t.
=== Ghostbusters HQ; entrance ===
Everyone runs like ****.
EGON
Clear the building!
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ ===
LOUIS runs out. The door of the fire house is smoking. The roof explodes.
=== DANA's apartment ===
DANA is jolted awake.
=== Outside Ghostbusters HQ Explosion. ===
Pink strams of psychokinetic energy zap out. Crowd gathers.
LOUIS
This is it! This is the sign!
walks away
JANINE
Yeah, it's a sign all right; we're going out of business.
Ecto-1 drives up. Police start to arrive.
RAY
What happened?
EGON
The storage facilities blew. He shut off the protection grid.
RAY
Oh, great.
WINSTON
That's bad, isn't it?
RAY
Yeah.
PETER
Where's the Keymaster?
EGON
Sh*t!
RAY
Who's the Keymaster?
EGON
Come on!
The Ghoustbusters run. PECK and some police stop them.
PECK
Hold it! I want this man arrested. Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act, and this explosion is a direct result of it!
EGON
Your mother - They fight. Police try to keep order.
The ghosts keep pouring out of the fire house roof.
Music: Magic.
=== New York City ===
The pink streams fly over the city.
=== DANA's apartment ===
DANA goes to her window, grinning.
=== Outside Subway Tunnel ===
LOUIS passes. Papers fly around. A blue creature rises up out of tunnel.
=== By taxi ===
Pink smoke enters a taxi's exhaust. BUSINESSMAN IN CAB enters.
BUSINESSMAN IN CAB
Columbia Building, 53rd street, and I'm in a hurry, so let's not dawdle.
Driver is a zombie. Drives at breakneck speed, making a U-turn. Other cars swerve.
=== Street ===
LOUIS walks down street, gazing upwards.
=== Hot Dog Cart ===
Slimer is inside, pigging out.
=== DANA's apartment ===
Bolts of pink light fly up, past her window.
=== Another street ===
LOUIS walks down, gazing upwards.
=== DANA's apartment ===
Her wall explodes.
=== Street ===
Pigeons fly from LOUIS.
=== Remnants of DANA's apartment ===
She stares out, her hair blowing in the wind.
=== Jail ===
WINSTON
Hey, guard! I want to make a phone call! I just work with these guys! I wasn't even there!
RAY and EGON look over blueprints
EGON
The structure of this roof cap is exactly like the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in deep space.
RAY
Cold riveted girders with cores of pure selenium.
PETER
(to other jailbirds)
Everyone getting this so far? So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to.
RAY
No! Nobody ever made them like this! The architect was either a certified genius or an aesthetic wacko!
PETER
Ray, for a moment, pretend that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering or physics and just tell me what the **** is going on.
RAY
You never studied. The whole building is a huge super-conductive antenna that was designed and built expressly for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence. Your girlfriend, Pete, lives in the corner penthouse of Spook Central.
PETER
She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers! She barks, she drools, she claws...
EGON
It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building! Something terrible is about the enter our world and this building is obviously the door. The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then in 1920 he founded a secret society.
PETER
Let me guess. Gozer worshippers.
EGON
Right.
PETER
No studying!
EGON
After the First World War, Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive. And he wasn't alone. he had close to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended to bring about the end of the world, and now it looks like it may actually happen!
PETER
(singing)
So be good, for goodness sake! Whoa! Somebody's coming! Somebody's coming!
RAY
We have to get out of here. We've gotta get a judge or something.
WINSTON
Hey! Hey! Hold it! Now we going to actually going to go before a federal judge and say that some moldy old Babylonian god is going to drop in on Central Park West and start tearing up the city?
RAY
Sumerian, not Babylonian.
PETER
Yeah, big difference!
WINSTON
No offense, guys, but I gotta get my own lawyer.
JAIL GUARD
Okay, Ghostbusters! The mayor wants to see you guys. The whole island's going crazy! Let's go.
PETER
(to other jailbirds)
I gotta split. The mayor wants to rap with me about some things.
=== Outside Ivo Shandor Building ===
LOUIS walks by. Shocked. Looks up to the top.
=== Remnants of DANA's apartment ===
LOUIS
I am the Keymaster!
DANA
I am the Gatekeeper.
(they kiss, then go up the stairs to the Temple of Zuul)
=== Outside City Hall ===
Police escort Ghostbusters to the MAYOR. Reporters and photographers try to get press. Music: Savin' The Day.
POLICE CAPTAIN
Stay back! Stay back!
=== Inside MAYOR's office ===
MAYOR
I got a city blowing up, and you guys are not giving me any answers!
POLICE COMMISIONER
All right. We're blocking the bridges, the roads. I mean -
MAYOR'S AIDE
The Ghostbusters are here, Mr. Mayor.
MAYOR
The Ghostbusters, all right, the Ghostbusters. Hey, where's this Peck?
PECK
I am Walter Peck, sir, and I'm prepared to make a full report. These men are consummate snowball artists! They use sensitive nerve gases to induce hallucinations. People think they're seeing ghosts! And they call these bozos, who conveniently show up to deal with the problem with a fake electronic light show!
RAY
Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by ****less here.
PECK
They caused an explosion!
MAYOR
Is this true?
PETER
Yes, it's true. This man has no ****.
PECK lunges at PETER. Police try to break up fight.
POLICE SERGEANT
Break it up, break it up!
PETER
Well, that's what I heard!
MAYOR
This is City Hall! Now what am I gonna do here, John? What is this?
FIRE COMMISIONER
All I know is: that was no light show we saw this morning. I've seen every kind of combustion known to man, but this beats the **** out of me.
POLICE COMMISIONER
The walls in the 53rd precinct were bleeding. How do you explain that?
ARCHBISHOP
(entering)
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
MAYOR
Oh... Your Eminence!
kisses ARCHBISHOP's ring
ARCHBISHOP
How are you, Lenny?
MAYOR
You're looking good, Mike.
(gives ARCHBISHOP a friendly slap)
We're in a real fix, here. What do you think I should do?
ARCHBISHOP
Lenny, officially, the Church will not take any position on the religious implications of these phenomena. Personally, Lenny, I think it's a sign from God. But don't quote me on that.
MAYOR
I think that's a smart move, Mike. But I'm not gonna call a press conference and tell everyone to start praying.
WINSTON
I'm Winston Zeddemore, Your Honor. Look, I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks. But I gotta tell you, these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white!
PETER
Well, you could believe Mr. Pecker.
PECK
My name is Peck!
PETER
Or you could accept the fact that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
MAYOR
What do you mean, biblical?
RAY
What he means is Old Testament biblical, Mr. Mayor. Real wrath-of-God-type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling!
EGON
Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes! Volcanoes!
WINSTON
The dead rising from the grave!
PETER
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!
MAYOR
Enough! I get the point! What if you're wrong?
PETER
If I'm wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail. Peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing; Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.
MAYOR smiles. ARCHBISHOP nods.
PECK
(all the wind sucked out of his sails)
I don't believe you're seriously considering listening to these men.
PETER smiles a smug smile.
MAYOR
Get him out of here.
PETER
(waving)
Bye.
PECK
I'll fix you, Venkman. I'm gonna fix you!
PETER
I am going to send you a nice fruit basket. I'm gonna miss him!
PECK
All right, all right!
MAYOR
You've got work to do. Now what do you need from me?
=== The Streets of New York ===
Music: Savin' The Day. The streets are clear, but the sidewalks are jammed with people waving signs and cheering. Military and police personnel yell things. The Ghostbusters wait in Ecto-1 with their police escort.
PETER
Come on, let's run some red lights!
The cars start moving.
=== Outside Ivo Shandor Building ===
Dark clouds gather atop the building, shrouding the Temple of Zuul. The police escort drives up. The Ghostbusters get out and suit up. The crowd cheers.
PETER
Hello, New York! Well, hi, everyone!
(raises RAY's hand high)
Dr. Ray Stantz! Would you please? The heart of the Ghostbusters! Thank you. They love you. They love you here!
)walks down the sidewalk, shaking and kissing hands_
I like that shirt, pal! Gotta run. Got a date with a ghost! All right, whatever happens, let's be professionals.
The Ghostbusters assemble in front of the building, looking up at the darkness above. Lightning strikes the building.
RAY
We might have to put a little overtime in on this one!
Earthquake!
A water main breaks. People fall and scream. A pit opens below the Ghostbusters. They fall in. So does the front end of a police car. The earthquake suddenly stops. The crowd comes to its feet.
PEOPLE IN CROWD
Are you all right?
Ghostbusters?
Are they all right?
A dazed RAY pops out of the hole
There they are!
the others climb out of the hole
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
PETER
We're all right, it's all right, we can take it! You gotta learn to play rough! You wanna play rough?
RAY
Yeah!
WINSTON
Let's go!
Music: Savin' The Day. They grab hands, pushing down, then up, and go into building
=== Ivo Shandor Building; Many Flights of Stairs ===
They groan as they climb the stairs.
PETER
Where are we?
RAY
Oh, it looks like we're in the teens somewhere.
PETER
Well, when we get to twenty, tell me. I'm gonna throw up.
=== Temple of Zuul ===
DANA and LOUIS stand on terror dog pedestals. Lightning shoots between them and the gates to the spirit world. The gates open up.
=== Floor 22 ===
RAY
Twenty-two. Is this it?
PETER
Yeah.
EGON
Art Deco. Very nice.
RAY
Where is it?
PETER
It's at the end of the hall.
=== Remnants of DANA's apartment ===
RAY points out the stairs to the Temple of Zuul.
RAY
Hey, where do these stairs go?
PETER
They go up.
(He's about to go upstairs. Lightning goes off. He pushes his friends on.)
Okay. Go ahead. Come on, go ahead. Come on. Go ahead!
=== Temple of Zuul ===
The Ghostbusters arrive. Lightning strikes DANA and LOUIS.
PETER
Dana!
(DANA and LOUIS turn into terror dogs)
Okay. That's all. She's a dog.
The Ghostbusters line up in front of the temple. GOZER emerges from the temple.
RAY
It's a girl.
GOZER pets the terror dogs
EGON
It's Gozer.
WINSTON
I thought Gozer was a man.
EGON
It's whatever it wants to be.
PETER
Well, whatever it is, it's gotta get by us!
RAY
Right!
PETER
Go get her, Ray!
RAY steps up
RAY
Gozer the Gozerian! Good evening! As a duly designated representative of the state, county and city of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension!
PETER
That ought to do it. Thanks very much, Ray.
GOZER
Are you a god?
PETER nods "yes" to RAY
RAY
No.
GOZER
(reaching its arms back into the temple)
Then... die!
Fires lightning at the Ghostbusters. They sail across the temple, clinging to the edge of the building.
=== Outside Ivo Shandor Building ===
Crowd screams.
=== Temple of Zuul ===
WINSTON
Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say, "Yes!"
RAY nods
PETER
All right. This chick is toast!
(they march up to the temple)
Got your stick?
PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON
(unhooking proton guns)
Holding!
PETER
Heat 'em up!
PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON
(charging guns)
Smoking!
PETER
Make 'em hard!
PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON
Ready!
PETER
Let's show this prehistoric **tch how we do things downtown. Strike!
(They blast GOZER. It yowls and flips across the temple.)
Nimble little minx, isn't she? Aim for the flat top!
(They blast again. GOZER vanishes.)
Well! That wasn't so hard.
RAY
We neutralized it! You know what that means? A complete particle reversal!
WINSTON
Hey, we have the tools, we have the talent!
PETER
It's Miller time!
EGON
(looking at PKE meter)
Ray? This looks extraordinarily bad.
(Earthquake at the temple. Rocks fall.)
Look out!
=== Outside Ivo Shandor Building ===
Rocks fall. Crowd screams.
=== Temple of Zuul ===
Voice of GOZER sounds.
GOZER
Subcreatures! Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, the Traveler, has come! Choose and perish!
RAY
What do you mean, choose? We don't understand!
GOZER
Choose! Choose the form of the Destructor!
PETER
Whoa! I get it, I get it. Very cute! Whatever we think of - if we think of J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover will appear and destroy us, okay? So empty your heads. Empty your heads. Don't think of anything. We've only got one shot at this.
GOZER
The choice is made! The Traveler has come!
PETER
Whoa! Whoa! Nobody choosed anything! Did you choose anything?
EGON
No!
PETER
Did you?
WINSTON
My mind's totally blank!
PETER
I didn't choose anything!
PETER, EGON and WINSTON stare at RAY
RAY
(trembling)
I couldn't help it. It just popped in there!
PETER
What? What just popped in there?
RAY
I - I tried to think -
stomping and screaming from below
EGON
Look!
RAY
No! It can't be!
WINSTON
What is it?
RAY
It can't be!
WINSTON
What did you do, Ray?
RAY
It can't be!
WINSTON
Aw, sh*t!
RAY
(solemnly)
It's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
=== Outside Shandor Building ===
Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man stomps cars as people run and scream in terror.
Temple of Zuul
PETER
Well, there's something you don't see every day.
RAY
I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay-Puft...
PETER
Nice thinking, Ray.
RAY
We used to roast Stay-Puft marshmallows, by the fire at Camp Waconda!
PETER
Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon. What have you got left?
EGON
Sorry, Venkman. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man growls at them.
WINSTON
Oh, no.
PETER
Mother pus-bucket!
=== Outside Shandor Building ===
PECK keeps his distance from the marshmallow man. It stomps on a church.
=== Temple of Zuul ===
PETER
Nobody steps on a church in my town!
RAY
One, two, three! Roast him!
(They blast Mr. Stay-Puft. It puts him on fire which soars up to them. He climbs up the side of the building.)
PETER
Whoa...
they run and hide
RAY
Funny, us going out like this. Killed by a hundred-foot marshmallow man.
PETER
We've been going about this all wrong! This Mr. Stay-Puft isn't so bad. He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!
marshmallow man continues scaling up the side of building
EGON
I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways. We could reverse the particle flow through the gate.
PETER
How?
EGON
We'll cross the streams.
PETER
Excuse me, Egon, you said crossing the streams was bad.
RAY
Cross the streams...
PETER
You're gonna endanger us, you're gonna endanger our client. The nice lady who paid us in advance before she became a dog.
EGON
Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive.
PETER
(giving RAY a friendly slap)
I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it. Let's do it!
WINSTON
This job is definitely not worth eleven-five a year!
they run to the temple just as Mr. Stay-Puft lifts his head up
EGON
Hurry!
PETER
See you on the other side, Ray.
fires
RAY
Nice working with you, Dr. Venkman.
Fires. They cross the streams.
Let's turn 'em on, Spengler!
(EGON and WINSTON fire)
Cross 'em now, Spengler!
Mr. Stay-Puft sees what's going on. He screams. The four proton beams combine to make one big one, blasting right into the temple. The gates swing shut.
PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON
(shouting randomly)
Aggh! Oh, no! Help! It's gonna blow! Let's get out of here!
(They stop firing and run away.)
The Temple of Zuul explodes. Mr. Stay-Puft does as well.
=== Outside Ivo Shandor Building ===
Marshmallow spatters all over. PECK looks up just in time to see a big glob splatter on him. He yells and curses at the sky.
=== Remnants of Temple of Zuul ===
Marshmallow all over everything, including RAY and WINSTON.
RAY
Oh... oh... Winston? Are you all right?
WINSTON
Yeah, yeah.
they laugh
RAY
Venkman? Spengler? Venkman? Spengler?
(EGON, covered in marshmallow, enters)
Oh, Spengler, are you okay?
EGON
I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.
PETER enters. He has very little marshmallow on him.
RAY
Venkie!
PETER
Yeah. I'm all right.
RAY
Thank God. You okay?
EGON
I'm all right.
RAY
You all right?
PETER
I'm all right.
RAY
You okay?
PETER
Fine...
Walks away. Comes across remnants of terror dog statue.
RAY
Oh. Smells like barbecued dog hair. Oh... Venkman. Oh, Venkman, I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I... I just forgot.
PETER walks away sadly. Then part of the statue breaks off. A hand reaches out.
DANA
Mm...
RAY
Look!
The Ghostbusters break open the statue, and PETER lifts DANA out.
LOUIS, with a terror dog statue head on his head, walks around helplessly.
LOUIS
Somebody turn on the lights! Help! Somebody turn on the lights!
PETER
Go check on that little guy!
RAY, EGON and WINSTON go to help them. They remove the terror dog head.
LOUIS
What happened?
DANA
(coming to)
Oh... oh... oh... where am I?
(opens eyes, sees PETER)
Oh... hi...
EGON
(regarding LOUIS)
He'll be all right.
LOUIS
Boy, the superintendent's gonna be pissed.
RAY
Are you okay?
LOUIS
Who are you guys?
RAY
We're the Ghostbusters.
LOUIS
Who does your taxes?
PETER leads DANA away. RAY, EGON and LOUIS start to walk off.
RAY
You know, Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual!
LOUIS
I know.
RAY
You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional crossrip since the Tunguska blast of 1909!
LOUIS
Felt great!
EGON
We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue.
LOUIS
Okay.
WINSTON
(throwing up hands and cheering)
I love this town!
=== Outside Ivo Shandor Building ===
Music: Ghostbusters. The crowd cheers for the Ghostbusters. PETER gives DANA a long kiss on the lips. RAY takes a puff on a cigarette as he waves. PETER escorts DANA into Ecto-1. EGON leaves building. JANINE runs into his arms.
JANINE
Egon!
They kiss. He pats her cheeks. LOUIS comes out, waving.
LOUIS
What's going on? Does anyone wanna interview me? I'm an eyewitness. I was up there!
(Red Cross employees take him off, but LOUIS protests.)
I wanna go with them, in the car.
WINSTON puts his proton pack away. The Ghostbusters get into Ecto-1 and the crowd parts to let them through. As Ecto-1 drives off, the crowd chases after it.
Slimer flies above the crowd, screaming, and flies into the camera. Fade to black. Final credits roll.
The End
Category:Transcripts
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