Ardraken's Refreshment Simulacrum (Magic Item)

Ardraken, a wizard from Greyhawk adventuring in another dimension, first discovered the creature named "Coin." Cola was a rectangular, human-sized thing. It spoke few words, but was very friendly. For just two silver pieces. Cola gave a total stranger a refreshing elixir. Once back in Greyhawk. Ardraken resolved to create his own "cola."
Ardraken's refreshment simulacrum is a colorful box standing on one end. Its usual colors are red white, and blue. Glowing runes read, "Cola", "Drink", "New Generation", "Exact Change When Lit", and other arcane sayings. A small opening large enough to accept a coin is located midway to the top, on the right. One foot from the bottom is a large aperture, almost as wide as the box. Ideally, the thing affably greets people, then offers its elixir for a mere two silver pieces.
Construction: 11,500 gp; 17 days.
A simulacrum is magically created to duplicate another living being. The process calls for an ice model of the creature to be duplicated. Thus, a refreshment simulacrum requires a block of ice with the dimensions given under Statistics. The water for the ice is mixed first with crushed red, while, and blue precious gems. Each gemstone must he valued at 100 gp. Three gems of each color are needed. The mixture is frozen around a container of that exotic potion Elixir of Cola, called simply "cola," named for the creature that produces it. The cola is usually contained in metal cylinders. If found in Oerth markets, a 12-ounce cola is worth 600 gp. The ice model is carved with the proper runes. Finally, the spells reincarnation and limited wish or create monster are cast. These give the simulacrum life and the ability to imitate Cola's talents.
Statistics: Sze: 2' x 4' x 6'. Weight; 300 pounds.
Two silver pieces are put in the metal slot, and the simulacrum drops a potion in a metal cylinder through the lower aperture. It can also accept other coins and will make correct change. Both processes are magical conversions -silver to elixir.
Somehow these enchantments never malfunction for the wizard who casts them, so a cola always operates perfectly for the wizard that made it. For anyone else, any number of nasty things can happen. First. Cola may accept money, but not give any change due. Half the time, it dismisses the user with a simple taunt: "No drinks for you, scum." Those less Fortunate are either attacked or become the recipients of one of Cola's Special Drinks. Each Special differs from the last and its effects are always malign. At best, a Special Drink is noxious and gives the imbiber an embarrassing acne problem. The worst Specials cause insanity, loss of hit points, or death. It is believed these hazards prove that simulacrums are inherently evil. Simulacrums are thought to fear their makers and therefore do them no mischief.
Cola: AC 2; 7HD; hp 28; MV nil; AT 1d3, Range 16; Dmg 1d4+3; AL CE. The creature attacks by firing 1d3 of its drinks as missiles, if reduced to half its hit points or less. Cola gives up and offers its attackers the real elixir.
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