Athenian Pirate Sexy Vampire Scoundrel Adventure

Athenian Pirate Sexy Vampire Scoundrel Adventure is a new instalment out from D’Ancey LaGuarde in his Dark Hearts of History Supernatural Romance Dodecahelogy.
Strap in for another tits out, flap frenzying adventure by the heart-pounding author of such novels as A Werewolf in my Sex Dungeon, Vampires of the Road Safety Department, and A Ghoul of my Own. Athenian Pirate Sexy Vampire Scoundrel Adventure is an exciting combination of action, adventure, magic, mystery, treasure hunting, seafaring, dangerous intrigue, humour, and steamy romance with an exotic ancient Greek setting and enough fabulous characters to get your toga in a twist—if you know what I mean.
Sexy shameless vampire pirate scoundrel hero Malosthones loves the ladies. As a pirate vampire secret agent for the Teeth of the Amphitheatre, a secret society dedicated to protecting the world’s sources of Greek mythology from the evil Furies, his primary duty is always to the mission. But if it’s all in a day’s work the success of an operation should happen to involve getting under a woman’s skirt, well, that’s just blood and gravy. The notorious ladies’s man slash vampire slash pirate slash theatre critic has always been able to keep things carefree, easy, and aloof when it comes to the women he’s attracted to. But then again, he’s never encountered a woman like Maria.
This womanising adventurer finally meets his match in an intelligent, spirited nun, and finds himself strangely and completely captivated by her. It’s too bad that she’s a daughter of a top member of the Teeth’s sworn enemy, the Furies. Now it’s up to Malosthones and some of his Teeth allies to convince expert linguist Maria to help translate an ancient dialect in order to find something hidden somewhere in the Greek Isles before the Furies use it for their evil aims. But Malosthones and Maria have an explosive attraction and magnetic chemistry that turns into a wildly passionate affair in the midst of exploration and danger. There’s also a great side romance between quirky secondary characters witch Athena and sea captain slash half-merman Callus with his one fish leg whose constant bickering marks(?) an underlying attraction.
If you like romance with lots of action, adventure, humour, steamy love scenes, a smart plucky heroine, and a to-die-for vampire pirate scoundrel hero with a heart of gold, then don’t miss this highly enjoyably read. 
Available at all bad bookstores, newsagents, and airports. 
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====== Transcriber’s note: Alice Fraser once again refers to LaGuarde with pronoun “his”. ======