Episode 317: Spike Milligan

The Muppet Show is broadcast in 108 countries, so Kermit plans an "international extravaganza," featuring people from each of those nations. Unfortunately, the various people don't necessarily get along, although everyone seems to understand the Swedish Chef telling a joke. At the end, everyone gets together for the Parade of Nations, singing "It's a Small World".
==Songs/Sketches==
* "Oklahoma!"
* Sam the Eagle has a conversation about American/British relations with Spike.
* "Aquarela do Brasil".
* Muppet News Flash: "Muppet News International"
* UK Spot: "Dog Walk"
* "America" (followed by an international medley)
* “The Intergalactic Brotherhood Of Man, Including Things”
* "It's a Small World"
==Episode==
Picture	Description
 	Cold Open: Guest star Spike Milligan shows Scooter his coat of arms.
 	"The Muppet Show Theme": An Arab asks Statler and Waldorf, "How much to get things started?"Beautiful Day Monster bounces Gonzo up and down when he tries to play the trumpet.
 	Kermit has planned an international extravaganza, starting with a Japan-themed number. In it, Fozzie gets confused and tries to sing "Oklahoma", but the monster samurai dancers and Japanese Whatnots turn it into "Yokahama".
 	The Muppets' salute to all the nations appears to be growing too big. Scooter has been put in charge of organizing everyone, assigning dressing rooms and such. However, the Australians have found their own place in the theater.
 	Sam the Eagle does a conversation about American/British relations with "a proper English gentleman" (Spike). Spike puts on an unintelligible Cockney accent (with the exception of the words "Queen Elizabeth the Second"). Sam demands that Spike speak the Queen's English. Instead, Spike speaks Groucho's English, asking, "Why should I? She never speaks any of mine?" As the relations fall apart between the two, Spike drops his trousers onstage, revealing boxer shorts with the British flag on them.
 	Gonzo, watching Spike's act from the wings, feels that it's about time they got some sophistication on the show.
 	Kermit claims not to have been offended by Spike's actions, but when Spike lowers his pants again to reveal the American flag, Kermit becomes insulted and orders Spike off of the stage.
 	Waldorf doesn't think Spike's very clever, claiming anybody can drop their pants. And he proves it, too!
 	Scooter's rooming arrangements aren't working out very well. He has the Arabs and the Eskimos sharing a room, but they both live in opposite climates. So, when the Eskimos turn on the air conditioning, the Arabs set it on fire to make the room warmer.
 	A Scottish bagpiper wants to play "The Bonnie Glasgow Samba" on his bongos, but Kermit forces him to play some traditional Scottish music on his bagpipes. The song played is "Brazil".
 	Muppet News Flash: The Newsman presents the news as translated by Spike Milligan. The translation eventually grows out of control to where the Newsman must report the case of a "Mad English comic" attacking him.
 	UK Spot: Wayne sings "Dog Walk."
 	Scooter and Floyd discuss the "lack of international understanding" in the theater. No one can understand anybody else! Except, somehow, everyone seems to understand The Swedish Chef.
 	The Electric Mayhem's version of "America" from West Side Story becomes an international jam session when the international Muppet guests get into the act.
 	Robin introduces Kermit to Luis Greco, the morse code flamenco dancer. The act does not work out so well, as Luis has ruined the Chef's souffle with his tapping. Luis nearly finds himself at the business end of a meat cleaver. Robin reveals that Spain and Sweden have just declared war.
 	"The Intergalactic Brotherhood Of Man, Including Things," a very random and incomprehensible sketch including Spike, Lew Zealand, and a window shade.
 	Miss Piggy arrives to tell Kermit that she believes his idea to perform a "Parade of Nations" could qualify as "humanitarian." However, when Kermit tries to organize the "Parade of Nations," nobody will listen. In fact, they're all arguing with each other. It is only the wrath of Piggy that can bring peace among the nations.
 	A "Parade of Nations" sings "It's a Small World." Spike tries to join in but Sam keeps trying to stop him from making a mockery of the song until he gives up.
 	After Kermit thanks Spike, "It's a Small World" carries on into the closing, and through the credits, much to their distaste. Spike tries to take a nap on the stage as Kermit yells at everyone to stop singing until the guest star throws a pillow right at the frog.
==Notes==
* The estimate of how many countries The Muppet Show was broadcast in was pretty slippery over the years. See How many countries did The Muppet Show air in? for a list of the various estimates.
* During the closing number, Spike is seen wearing a shirt with Arabic script upon it; the word on the shirt is "Kuwait", referring both to the Middle Eastern nation as well as a pun on Q8, the 4th season of Milligan's Q... comedy series which aired in 1978, the same time as the 3rd season of The Muppet Show.
* This episode is not included on Disney+ in Europe.
==Cast==
Muppets:
:Kermit the Frog, Scooter, Fozzie Bear, Scotsman, Lew Zealand, The Newsman, Sam the Eagle, Dr. Teeth, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Animal, Zoot, Wayne, Robin the Frog, The Swedish Chef, The Mutations, Miss Piggy, Luis Greco, Gonzo, Spaniel, Statler and Waldorf
Background Muppets:
:Whatnots, Afghan Hound, Mary Louise, Lubbock Lou, Gramps, Droop, Lenny the Lizard, Shakey Sanchez, Jim, Frank, Jerry, Mahna Mahna, Pigs, The Witch Doctor, The Fazoobs, Male Koozebanian Creature, Female Koozebanian Creature, chicken, Rat, Frogs, Arab, Baskerville, Snowth, Nigel, Zelda Rose, Lou, Baby, Zeke
==Performers==
:Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, the Newsman, the Swedish Chef and Waldorf
:Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear, Sam the Eagle, Miss Piggy and Animal
:Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Scotsman, Lew Zealand, Whatnot and Robin the Frog
:Richard Hunt as Scooter, Janice, Statler and Wayne
:Dave Goelz as Gonzo and Luis Greco
:Louise Gold as others
:Steve Whitmire as others
:Kathryn Mullen as others
:Spike Milligan as an Australian
==Gallery==
File:Milligan06.jpg
File:Spikemilligan.jpg
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File:Milligan08.jpg
File:Milligan07.jpg
File:Milligan02.jpg
File:Milligan03.jpg
File:Milligan01.jpg|This press photo can be seen on the back wall of Angus McGonagle's dressing room.
File:Milligan04.jpg
File:Milligan05.jpg
File:TMS317-ChefConcertina-BTS.jpg
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