Diddy Kong

Diddy Kong is one of the various Kongs of whom do stuff. In particular, he is notable for doing government stuff. He rules Egypt and all of it's important stuff. Diddy Kong is currently its youngest pharaoh, even King Tutankhamun was older than him. This sort of makes him the male equivalent to Touka Ryuumonbuchi in a way.
While we got the general outline below, Diddy Kong's entire unabridged history is really convoluted thanks to his age, and in some ways, we believe he may actually be a time traveler. Maybe the next doctor? Aw well, ya know what they say about speculation on wikis. Actually, curse what they say! UnAnything is a HUMOR wiki, we can speculate all we wanna!
== History ==
=== Child to Teenhood ===
Diddy Kong was born during the monsoon seasons in Africa. This means lotsa Water for him to drink. Unfortunately, laws in the jungle he grew up in dictated you have to be 21 to drink, period. As such, Diddy Kong's childhood sucked harder than the King K. Rool Cannon. Imagine being in his shoes, a whole life without water, and you are surrounded, get this... by water! I honestly think it's ironic that he went on to reign over a desert where the only water is in some random stupid plants.
At around age 13 (34 in other creature years) Donkey Kong found him, moping in a tree. Since Donkey Kong is pretty nice, he offered him a piece of the Banana he was eating. Diddy Kong was moved, he had never had a banana before. He asked Donkey Kong where he got them from, and the big DK showed him his crib. He let Diddy Kong stay there for a good while.
Diddy Kong was satisfied, however, "was" is never forever, as it is past tense. So Diddy Kong would soon try to broaden his horizons, as keeping his older buddy's banana stockpile safe from King K. Rool and Kaptain Skurvy was not a fun way to live. Plus, Donkey Kong always stole the spotlight from Diddy, which was really unfair.
=== To the Sahara Land ===
Whilst exploring, Diddy Kong was looking through a telescope when he spotted an amazingly large pyramid. He instantly knew he should go there. So he packed his bags and checked out of the treehouse. Unfortunately, Diddy Kong was, is, and forever will be, a dumb monkey, so he looked through the big lens and thought the pyramid will be far away. It was actually 5 steps in front of him as of then.
2 seconds after Diddy stepped over the IDK-what-country-he-was-in-honestly-kinda-stupid-ngl/Egypt border, the current Egyptian pharaoh randomly keeled over and died. So the populace scrambled to find a new leader before the british or germans stole any more of their valuable artifacts. Seeing a chimpanzee with a cool hat really struck a chord with them, so Diddy Kong was made new pharaoh.
Diddy Kong sent a letter back to Donkey Kong via ibis, and, after the ibis nearly killed Squawks in a brutal air battle, Donkey Kong got it. He was not amused, so he figured that he should send some subliminal threat to Diddy. He mailed a pair of wooden guns to Diddy, but the chimp, using some peanuts brought in as a peace offering by a West Hyrule represenative, fashioned them into his Peanut Popguns.
Some time here Diddy would also meet another primate named Dixie Kong and they got into a relationship, but there's nothing of note with that.
=== As a Pokémon trainer ===
Diddy Kong can be legally considered a trainer of Pokémon, although he only has one, which is silly. This one Pokémon is a shiny Lucario he named, "Anubis" because Egyptian stuff is Egyptian. He basically treats him like his own personal butler, really rude of him, and not PeTA friendly either.
== Trivia ==
*Diddy Kong knows how to play the electric guitar, and is good at playing Yakety Yak by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller
*Currently, his main enemy is Noob Saibot because he thinks his name sounds like, "noob sailboat". Noob never notices Diddy.
Category:Primates
Category:Donkey Kong
Category:Rulers
Category:Africa
Category:Children
Category:Guys
Category:Brown guys
Category:Guys with quotes