Gotham Underground/F(r)iends

F(r)iends is the first issue of the comic series Gotham Underground.
==Transcript==
===Joker's Story===
Alarms blare through the halls of Arkham Asylum as a doctor grabs a microphone.
*Doctor: Attention everyone, be alert! Patient A15 has escaped his cell! I repeat, the Joker has escaped his cell!
Sewage is seen being pumped out of Arkham. In the waters, a purple fingerless glove bursts out as the Joker's laugh echoes through the night. He then starts running while laughing. It suddenly cuts to a bar where a group of criminals is seen playing snooker.
*Criminal #1: So, have you heard the news?
*Criminal #2: What news?
*Criminal #1: Couple hours ago Joker escaped Arkham.
*Criminal #3: Yeah, heard the guy who was meant to watch him was found with his guts ripped open.
*Criminal #2: Considering who we're talking about, I wouldn't be surprised if that was true. I heard he killed a man because he called him ugly.
*Man in Hoodie: That's true.
They all turn to the man.
*Man in Hoodie: Aren't you gonna ask how I know?
They all look at each other.
*Man in Hoodie: I see...
The man takes his hoodie off, revealing Joker.
*Joker: You've heard that one already!
*Criminal #1: Oh shit.
*Joker: Tell me, who am I?
*Criminal #1: You're the Joker.
*Joker: Wrong, next.
*Criminal #2: You're the... clown prince of crime?
*Joker: Wrong, next.
*Criminal #3: You are a crazy clown bitch.
*Joker: Wrong! I'm the future king of Gotham! and I want you to be my knights!
*Criminal #3: What? there's no way I'd--
The Joker pulls a knife and points it at the criminal's throat.
* Joker: What were you saying?
* Criminal #3: Uh... nothing...
* Joker: Good. Now, what about the rest of you?
Joker casually points at the other two with his knife.
* Criminal #1: We are in.
* Joker: Wonderful! now tell me, what's your names?
* Criminal #3: Drury Walker.
* Criminal #1: I'm Garfield.
* Criminal #2: Otis.
* Joker: No you're not. From this point forward, you will only answer to the names Killer Moth, Firefly, and Ratcatcher!
* Ratcatcher: But I'm not a rat catcher.
* Joker: And I'm not a playing card, what of it?
* Ratcatcher: Fine.
It suddenly cuts to a meat locker where a group of people is playing a card game, cards lying on the desk. One man puts down a three of hearts.
*Man: Last card.
The other men all take a card from the pile on the desk as the first man puts down an ace of spades, causing everyone to groan as the man takes a large pile of money, revealing him to be Killer Croc as he takes off his hood.
*Croc: Sorry boys, guess it wasn't your lucky day!
===Penguin's Story===
===Two-Face's Story===
===Catwoman's Story===