The Simpsons Wrestling/Quotes

All quotes from The Simpsons Wrestling.
==Playable Characters==
===Homer Simpson===
*I'm so mad I could spit flames out of my butt! Arrrgghhh!!
*You couldn't scare me with the rest of the scariest day of your life if you had an electrified scaring machine.
*Counseling?! I'll show you some freaking marriage counseling!
*No use praying, Flanders! God can't save you now!
*I'll teach you to interrupt me while I'm watching the food channel!
*You su-diddly-uck, Flanders!
*Watch me closely, grasshopper, and I will instruct you in the grappellary arts!
*Urge to kill rising!
*When I'm done with you, there'll be nothing but pork squeezing!
*I'm gonna crush you with my super sonic lard bomb!
*You're going down, clown!
*Okay, Barn, if I win you owe me a beer. If you win, you owe me two beers.
*I am so great! I am so great! G-R-A-T-E! I am so great!
*Homer! Homer! Homer!
*I am the champion! I am the champion!
*Woo-hoo! I win! I win and whipped you scream! Mmmmmm..... Whipped scream.
*I'm so talented. And good-looking.
*In your face! Woo-hoo!
*Remember, Marge, winning isn't anything. So please let me win this time.
*This is gonna be sweet!
*Why you little! I'll teach you to think!
*Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
*Hey, Smithers! I'm gonna turn you into dork juice, and cram it down Burns' throat! HEY, QUIT SMILING!
*Nothing personal, Barney, but after I hit you with the Iron Pretzel of Death, you are history!
*I'll teach you to corrupt my kids! That's MY job, you bozo talented wannabe!
*Hehe! Look at your face, Red! Looks like somebody beat me to it!
*In your FACE! WOO-HOO!
*I'm so good, I could kiss myself! Mwah! Mwah! OWW! Alright, already!
*Hehe! You're SO lame!
*BUT ALL FLANDERESES SUCK!!!
*Here's your order, Moe!
===Marge Simpson===
*This is for all those cute, little, three-eyed fish out there!
*Now here's my recipe for FOOO YAH!
*Hmph, teach you to meddle with a Battling Bouvier!
*Moe, this time I'm going to be doing some hitting on you!
*There must be some mistake! I'm s'posed to be playing Bingo right now!
*Now it's time to take out the trash!
*Jeepers H. Crackers! I feel so LIBERATED!
===Bart Simpson===
*Cool! Sibling smackdown!
*Run while you can! Batrunga, lord of the apes is coming!
*Eat my shorts!
*Aw, if only I was a vampire, then you'd REALLY be in trouble!
*Give up, Burns! There isn't enough room in this town for TWO aspiring overlords!
*Yeah, I'm looking for Moe, last name Ron!
*You may be my boyhood idol, but I'm still gonna kick your butt!
*With you gone, there'll be more beer for Homer!
*I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
===Lisa Simpson===
*Hmm, my brains against your brawn... SURRENDER, BART!
*You're nothing but a wee, timid, cowering beastie, Willie!
*Beware, Mr. Szyslak, I hit UNDER the belt!
*Time to punch a few more holes in your "Holier than thou" philosophy!
*Yeah, yeah, "Resistance is futile", how cliche!
*Better luck next time, IN YOUR DREAMS!
*Perhaps you might want to rethink your strategy?
*I thought I couldn't, but I could, I did, AND I COULD DO IT AGAIN!
*I feel like (name), if only she wrestled!
*Eye of the tiger, heart of a champion!
===Moe Szyslak===
*Alright, Mr. Goody Two Shoes, it's time for Moe 3:16: where Moe gives Ned a swift kick in the butt!
*When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes with a corkscrew!
*When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes, and shove em down your pants, uh, so you can watch while I'm kicking your butt!
*Aw, Marge, this is no place for a lady, so I'm just gonna toss your butt outta here.
*Your act, it's not funny! OK?! Well, maybe a little funny, ALL RIGHT! Alright fine I've been up all night watchin', but I'm STILL gonna kick the crap outta ya anyway!
*Hey, Mr. Burns! I've just been elected chairman of the board! And now I'm gonna pound ya with it!
*Come over here Smithers, and say "Yes" to the business end of my boot!
*Hot damn! The chicks will dig this!
*I'm normally a tenderhearted guy, but now ya pissed me off!
*I'm really a very tendered-hearted guy, when ya get to know me!
*Gloryoski, I won! I really, really won!
*Aw, ain't they cute? Ya just make me wanna vomit all over the place!
*I'm gonna tie you up in knots, beat on ya, and ship ya off to the planet Slimeball, where ya belong!
*Teach ya to mess with Moe ya puke!
*When you get to hell, tell 'em Moe sent ya!
*NOW I'm gonna have ta kill ya!
*Aw, little Lisa Simpson, aint she cute? *laughs* Where's my gun?
*Lisa you're wrestlin' me?! I thought smart people had better things ta do?
*Well if it isn't the Star Trek watchin-puzzle solvin' professor! Lets see if ya can solve gettin' my fist outta yer face!
*Hey smarty-pants, how bout I yank them smarty-pants over yer head!? Now, that'll be a wedgie of legend!
*I'll give ya...
*Guess what? It's ladies night ya skirt-wearin freak show! I'm gonna take yer bagpipes and use them to carve my name in your butt!
*Ya wanna see funny? I'll show ya funny! Funny, is a guy like me smackin' a clown like you with a board! Now, that's funny!
*I gotcha now ya litte punk! And I'm gunna use yer head for a bucket and paint my house withcher brains!
*If I known you aliens were gunna be here, I'da brought some beers ta ease the pain of lookin at yer ugly mugs
*Yer foreign ways don't scare me Apu, Lemme show ya what I do to people and things I don't understand
*I'd kick the crap outta ya if it makes me feel any better! Ya know it actually would, get over here!
*You're lucky you're not on the endagered species list buddy, or I'd be throwin yer pointy ass in a back room
*As I pound on ya, feel free ta curse me in yer foreign tongue! I don't mind, I wont know whatcher sayin!
*Yer gunna be wearin that make-up 24 hours a day ta hide the mess I'm gonna make of yer face
*Listen ya maggot munchin low-life, the next words you'll say will be muffled by yer own butt
*I'm gunna tear yer arms off and beatcha silly wit'em, so ya know every blow is yer own doin
*Awe, don't be a nervous nelly Ned, I'll make this as short n painful as possible
*Yer a good-lookin gal Marge! It's a shame that I have ta make ya look like yer sisters Patty n Selma
*When I get my mits on you, I'm gunna sink my teeth inta yer cheek n rip yer face off
*Listen up Homer. I'm gunna shove my arm down yer throat and punch holes in yer lungs
*I'm gunna use my two fists ta explain the concept of PUNCH DRUNK to ya
*I'm just gunna see how big that brain o yers is, WHEN I RIP IT THROUGH YER NOSTRILS!
*This is the land of oppertunity Apu! So, here's your oppertunity TA GET DEAD
*Don't leave any splash marks when I bounce ya off the canvas, ya greased pig
*When I get a hold of you, I'm gunna slice yer heart in half and make sandwiches with yer liver
*Ok Homer, it's time ya had a little talk with my fists
*Say Homer, why doncha lie down on the mat and let me stomp on yer brains
*Ah those scum-suckin pussbuckets are all alike, PUSH-OVERS
*I'm gunna shove a sausage down yer throat and stick starvin dogs up yer butt
*The littler they are, the further they fly! Ya know when ya kick'em real hard
*C'mere ya lil weasle! I'm gunna spank ya back ta the stone age
*Alright clown, I'm gunna slap that smile right off yer face
*I don't need no gauff from ya Marge, just get over here so's I can smack ya
*choking Oh God! I'm chokin on my own rage here
*I'm gunna shove that rake up yer butt and do some gardenin in yer stomach
*I'm gunna rip off yer antenneas and play ya like a xylophone
*Say yer prayers Ned! It's Judgement Day
*I'm gunna nail yer tongue ta my boat and use yer head for an anchor
*C'mere! I wanna introduce ya ta my two fists
*Yer days are numbered, ya jerky little pip-squeak
*I'm gunna pull outcher tongue and slap you silly
*Hot dog! The chicks'll dig this
*Who's the champ now
*nya
*oof
*ha
*ow
*hey
*2
*1
*3
===Apu Nahasapeemapetilon===
*Excuse me while I beat you silly, Mr. Krusty! And please come again!
*Ah, Mrs. Homer. Can I interest you in a fight to the death?
*THANK YOU, PLEASE COME AGAIN!
*This victory is the one thing you cannot steal from me, you little hoodlum!
*I am opposed to interrupting your youth, but PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER, YOU CHEESE-EATING MONSTER!
*How can I hurt the man whose lust for beer and pornography kept me in business that first, difficult year? Oh, well, I'll manage!
*I am afraid I will have to kill you now.
*Shiva H. Vishnu! My jubilation knows no bounds!
*Hello, valued customer! We have a special on beatings today!
*Thank you for coming! I'll see you in hell!
===Groundskeeper Willie===
*Do ya worse! You can't scare Willie!
*Unfurl the bagpipes, and commence the tootling!
*Dinnae feel bad about losing. I was wrestling wolves back when ye were at yer mother's teat!
*There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman!
*Ach, go on, the two of ya, before ya make Willie crack a rib!
*I'LL KILL YOU, MR. BURNS! AND WOUND YOU, MR. SMITHERS!
*I'm gonna stuff yer head in tha saxophone! This is a mercy killing, I tells ya!
*Ok, fancy boots! Let's go!
*NOW Willie's gettin' jiggy with it!
*Ach, I took care of a whole hive of ya this afternoon. One or two more doesn't make a difference.
*If it was up to me, I'd let ya go, but the cafeteria served creamed corn today, and I've been drinking like crazy!
*I'LL GET YOU, BART SIMPSON! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
===Barney Gumble===
*Raaahhhhh! I'm angry now! Arrggghhhh!!! I'm gonna trample you into jelly! Tra-la-la-la-la-da-da!
*Waaaaaarrgggghhhhh!!!! I'm seeing clowns! MUST KILL CLOWNS!!!
*Hey, I know you! You're Krunchy the Clown! I hate you!
*Alright! A local boy!
*There's not enough beer in this town for the both of us. You must die!
*Kill Moe! Get all the beer!
*Can you do that water into wine trick? No wait, water into beer! Or I'll KILL YOU!
*I'm gonna stretch you like a rubber band and play Danny Boy on your tonsils!
*Hey, you're one of the Seven Duffs! Gimme a beer.
*Hey, you're one of the Seven Duffs! Where's my free beer?!
*Another victory for the Drunkinator!
*When the going gets tough, drink Duff!
*Maybe now I can finally be able to wrestle Duffman!
*All right! Ugh, I think I'm gonna puke...
*Ugh, I could really use a beer!
*Here comes the beer train!
*It's jerks like YOU who drink all the beer and kiss all the ladies! Hey, who ARE you??
*It's time for Barney's super airplane spin! It makes me puke, but it's effective!
*Hold still, all of you!
*Now that's what I call fun!
*WHO'S SORRY NOW!!
*ABDUCTED BY ALIENS?! Not again...
*Uh, hey! It's Santa Claus!!
*Your big brain is no match for my Duff-preserved reflexes!!
*Uhhh, you get that radiation away from me! I'm saving my liver for psoriasis!
===Professor Frink===
*Finally, we shall answer the question that has plagued mankind for centuries: GOD OR SCIENCE!
*Give up, Burnsie! My patented cryogenic chamber is your best shot at seeing the 22nd century!
*Run along, little girl! You can't POSSIBLY be as smart as I am!
*Yes! YES YES!! Survival of the nerdliest!
*Professor Frink, Professor Frink, he makes you laugh, he makes you think, he likes to run, and then the thing with the... person...
*Good LORD this should be easy! According to my calculations, you shouldn't be alive right NOW!
*There seems to be some mistake, here. I seem to have been put in the ring with a hairless gorilla...
*Wait a moment! My Frinkatronic mind reader appears to be on the fritz! I'm not picking up a thing!
*"How am I going to beat you", you ask? Well, it should be obvious to even the most dim-witted individual that I... oh, never mind. BUH HUY!
*Some nice equipment you have there, buy huy... Relinquish it or die!
===Ned Flanders===
*Aw, Marge, you know I can't hit a lady! I suppose, I'll just have to kick ya, instead!
*Apu, you silly little man! Hinduism is just Satanism with 4 extra arms! Fraid I'll have to kill ya!
*Oh, you better run before I go all Old Testament on you!
*Oh, goody! Two fatheads for the price of one! Double the trouble means double the fun!!
*Well, if money is the root of all evil, then I'm, the gopher who's gonna gnaw that root right off! If ya know what I mean...
*Heavenly powers comp-diddly-el you!
*Oh, you're done-diddly-one for!
*Oh, I'm gonna kill-diddly-ill ya!
*I told you to turn the other cheek!
*Thank ya, Lord, for giving the eensiest taste of bloodlust!
*I'M A MUR-DIDDLY-URDELER!.... Hey, I can live with that!
*I prayed for your safety, but... a part of really WANTS to see ya get splattered!
===Bumblebee Man===
*(Ay yi yi! Your hair is big!)
*(The fame of the chupacabras does not compare to the fame of Bumblebee Man!)
*(Your breath alone is reason to destroy you!)
*(You may be funny, but I am more funny!)
*(To commemorate my victory, you will give me one Squishee!)
*(Long live Bumblebee Man!)
===Charles Montgomery Burns===
*Smithers, why do they all...hate me so?
*Hop to it, Smithers! Dispatch that homely troll before I get dyspeptic!
*OHH, so you actually think you can WIN? EXCELLENT!
*Come over here, perhaps I can find something to SCALD you with!
*I'm going to flay you alive, and no court on this Earth would convict me- I'm far too RICH, nyahehehe!
*I'm going to boil your flesh in a nuclear stew and wear your bones for a necklace!
*Smithers, you infernal ninny! Reach down the throat and pull out the HEART, you stuporous funker!!
*This plebian pastime certainly has its rewards!
*That'll teach you, you jackanape, now GET OUT!!
*I haven't felt so much pep, since the night I cold-cocked Calvin Coolidge!
*Why, I feel like a spry, 65 year old again!
*Muhahah, ahahah, AAAHA-EXCELLENT!
*Who's your daddy?
*Ahoy, hoy, lowly mortal! Quit toying with them, Smithers!
===Kodos===
*Hmm, we won't NEED to catch 40 humans if we can bag THIS chunky looking individual...
*Ned-diddly Flanders! We are your new gods! Bow down before us!!
*Foolish girl! You are no match for a healthy Rigellian!
*After we violently humiliate you, we will spray you with rum, so nobody will believe your story!
*Hmm, your comedic stylings are not unlike (Name), the entertainer, on our own hilarious planet!
*This winged specimen merits further study. On second thought, let's just pull his wings off!
*I can't understand you, red one. Speak Rigellian or English at least!
*Hey, Two Eyes, come and get some!
*Muhahaha, oh, my, yes!
*That was like taking crystalluine sucra from a larva!
*Your planet is doomed! DOOMED, I SAY!!
===Krusty the Clown===
*I am smooth in the groove and I have nothing to prove.
*Now you wouldn't hit a clown, now would ya?
*Come here, loser. I'm gonna autograph your face with my boot!
*I'll give you a Krusty-brand butt-kicking! (Laughs)
*No one makes fun of my costume and gets away with it!
*Hey, Jumbo, what beer truck did you fall out of?
*GAH! Now there's a face that needs some makeup!
*Wa-hoo! Beauty isn't the eye of the beer holder. Whatever that means. Stupid writers.
*Let's do it, fat boy!
*Let's do this Moe! I'm not clowning around here!
*Woa-hoah! Welcome to the inconvenience store, Squishee Boy!
*Your act stinks! This is your final performance, booby!
*And now folks, I'm celebrating by going to Krustyland!
*Another small slick for clown-kind. Thank you! Thank you very much.
*How's about you leave your husband for a clown like me?
*I lost 20 poins when you got that yoyo... Now I'm gonna cram it up your TUCHUS!
*That's how we do it in the Catskills, baby!
*I like mine with a little mustard on the side!
*Get ready for a clown-sized boot, KICKING YOUR BUTT!
*You look like you can take a beating! How about you be my new Sideshow Gumble??
*You've helped me out before, Bart. Now I need you to take a FALL for me!
*Now, don't worry, Lisa! Just cover your face and I'll hit you with pies for ten minutes!
*History is full of hilarious stories about religious beatings. THIS will be a DOOZY!!
*Who would have ever thought a CLOWN would protect the Earth from devastation?!
==Non-Playable Characters==
===Abraham Simpson===
===Sideshow Mel===
===Squeaky-Voiced Teen===
===Nick Riviera===
===Lenny Leonard===
* Hey, wouldn't it be great if someone died?
===Cletus Spuckler===
*A haw haw haw! I done did that before!
*A haw haw haw haw haw...gumption!
===Hans Moleman===
*This should prove exciting...
*KILL THEM, KILL THEM, YOU IDIOT!
===Comic Book Guy===
*I left my Fortress of Solitude for THIS?!
*EXCELSIOR!
*WORST. VIDEOGAME. EVER!
===Chief Wiggum===
Ahh, legally sanctioned violence. Ain't it sweet?
===Ralph Wiggum===
*Someone took the roof off that house!
*My cat's breath smells like cat food!
===Timothy Lovejoy===
*If anyone asks, I'm just here to spread the word of God to these wayward wrestlers.
*This truly is a haven of the damned. (I'm gonna go get some popcorn...)
===Nelson Muntz===
===Kent Brockman===
*Kent Brockman at the Action News Desk... What? The wrestling ring? Must be sweeps week, folks!
*I can say, without hyperbole, that this is a million times better than boxing!
Category:Quotes
Category:The Simpsons Wrestling