Annoying Orange Saw/Transcript

(The title appears in an old movie opening away, "ANNOYING SAW", then the title appears. Then the light flickers, revealing Orange in a strange room, attached to a strange contraption.)
Orange: Whoa! Where am I? Wha-what's this thing is hooked up to?
(A screen turns on, showing Jigsaw the Puppet from the Saw films)
Orange: Ew! Who's that?
Jigsaw: Hello, Orange. I want to play a game.
(Then, creepy music stops and the record scratches. The music turns to the theme.)
Orange: A game? Okay! Let's play Go Fish!
Jigsaw: What? No.
Orange: How about Chutes and Ladders?
Jigsaw: No, you don't get to pick the game.
Orange: Why not?
Jigsaw: That's not how this works.
Orange: Why?
Jigsaw: Because...now just...listen!
Orange: Why?
Jigsaw: Because I said so!
Orange: Okay! Geez, who crapped in your cornflakes?
Jigsaw: (Sighs) Alright. Now, Orange, so far you've made a living annoying people. Society would call you a nuisance. I would call you an abomination.
Orange: Yeah. And I'd call you Clownface! (Laughs)
Jigsaw: What?
Orange: You look somebody smeared mashed potatoes on a mime! (Laughs)
Jigsaw: That's enough!
Orange: You're kinda emo, aren't you?
Jigsaw: No! I'm not emo!
Orange: You're an emo clown! (Laughs)
Jigsaw: (Growls) Listen! The device you are attached is a death trap. It's hooked up to a timer. If you do not locate the key in time, you will...
Orange: (With the key right next to him) you mean this key right here?
Jigsaw: What the? Where did you get that?
Orange: I don't know.
Jigsaw: That's just great! You're totally ruining the game!
Orange: Your game sucks. Let's play Yahzee.
Jigsaw: I hate Yahzee.
Orange: Jenga?!
Jigsaw: No!
Orange: Do you like Backgammon?
Jigsaw: Oh my god you're annoying! That's it! I'm moving on to Eggplant.
(The camera zooms out, revealing Eggplant next to Orange.)
Orange: Whoa! It's Barney!
Eggplant: Uh, yeah, dude, I'm not Barney.
Jigsaw: Hello, Eggplant.
Orange: Hey! Hey, Barney! Can I teach you a song?
Jigsaw: No!
Eggplant: Hey, I'm not Barney! Dude, is this part of the torture or what?
Jigsaw: No! This is not how it usually happens.
Orange: (singing to the tune of "This Old Man")
I'm an orange.
That's a key,
There's an emo clown on TV. (Laughs)
(Jigsaw sighs angrily)
Eggplant: Do I look like a giant purple dinosaur? I'm an eggplant!
Orange: You look like a potato with bad circulation! (Laughs)
Jigsaw: That's it! I swear to God! I'm so done with this crap! Why did I think it was a good idea?! (TV turns off)
Orange: Hey! Hey! (Singing)
I'm an orange,
You're not me;
Jigsaw has to take a pee! (Laughs)
Eggplant: Oh, shut up!
Orange: Hey, Potato!
Eggplant: What?
Orange: Death trap.
Eggplant: Huh?
(Eggplant screams as the death trap slices him in half)
Orange: Aw. Poor Potato. He never "saw" that one coming. (Laughs, then sighs) How do I get out of here?
(An orange background appears with Orange asking the Fruity Question of the Day: "If you could pick anyone for me to annoy, who will you pick, and why?")
Category:Season 2
Category:Shorts
Category:Transcript pages