Jar Jar Battles

==East vs West==
===Western Philosophers===
Missa m com offda acropolis to start some pandemonium.
Don't br limp raps toda pimp slap symposium!
Da mad gadf,philosophy was missa invention!
Roll with da flyest nihilist, and missa, thesa french henchman!
Weesa gotin da wisdom, and da wits, da even missa couldn't question.
Dropping western medicine on these east infections!
Isa evident youss've never been weesa type of mental brethren!
Weesa're bombad thinkers, bombad speakers, bombad lovers, bombad men!
===Eastern Philosophers===
Dis type of arrogance is sure to be expect
From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is.
Yousa westerners is sloppy, need discipline in life.
Yousa lack control of yourselves,and of da mic.
While weesa use precise strikes to disrupt yousa concentration!
Hand yousa a ass-whipp weesa descendants ganna honor for generations!
Weesa built a nation, witha patience, anda presence, for liv.
And yousa ll never hold a candle toda wisdom weesa ve written!
===Western Philosophers===
Oh, missa give yousa someth yousa ganna bow and kowtow to
Whena missa squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu!
Yousa ne to take control of da life yousa're given!
Call missa Übermensch cause missa m so driven!
And missa m a freethinker, so confront conformists likein yousa? Isa missa job!
Gotin a sharp whena likein a spit da ll skewer yousa likein a Confu-shish kebab!
(Oh!) Yousa fubb da mission, missa m beatin yousa submissive doo-doo into submission!
Dish out more disses than letters and pamphlets and playin missa've been publish!
Now da weesa ve cover da two Yin and Yang twins, missa ganna move onto Jackie Chan!
Sun Tzu, missa be pick apart yousa Wu with missa Method, Man!
Dis seminal general isn't so tough onda mic, all yousa men must be likein "Yo, what happen?"
Yousa pitiful lyrical, lucky for history, yousa didn't author da Art of Rapp!
===Eastern Philosophers===
Bitch, missa wrota da Art of War, so yousa bombad getin yousa guns out!
These whita boys gett burn,cause guess what? Now da sun s out!
Asians spittin sick, but no, dis isn t SARS!
Laozi, kick da beatin, now Confucius, drop some bars!
Let missa be candide with yousa, Voltaire!
French drip with da egg noodle hair!
Yousa ego's just so distract,
Free speech doesn t mean just keep yapp!
And yousa kill biiig one, so missa gotta ask:
Did he die of shame whena he made yousa mustache?
Yousa tri to plant a new German Psyche
But yousa just grew hata, missa no Third Reichy!
And it all starts with yousa! Yousa're da father, Socrates!
Honest, missa thinkin yousa owe both of yousa students here a apology!
===Western Philosophers===
Missa wouldn't exact call myself a student of dis plebe!
Don't make Nietzsche comein over put a knee up in yousa chi!
Cause missa m N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E!
And missa end any motherfucker likein missa name inda spell bee!
Plebe, bitch? Missa m toxic likein a hemlock sip!
Hang a sandal onda door, cause yousa ganna suckin Soc's bombad stick!
Ooh, is dis goin to be likein one da yousa school board lessons?
Oh, doin teach da prussian what da greeks consider wrestl!
Whya don't yousa keep yousa fat French nose in yousa coffee?
Da most impressive th yousa ever did was rip-off yousa own lottery!
Let missa be frank! Don't start beef with da Frank
Who hangs with B. Franks giv ladies beef franks!
===Eastern Philosophers===
My turn them on themselves, dis chaos is weesa opportunity!
Weesa must remember, a bowl is most useful whena isa empty!
Ugh, Laozi, missa don t mean no disrespect,
But yousa ne to fill yousa bowl with some doo-doo da makes some sense!
Oh, yousa don't wanna stand inda path of Lao Tzu today!
Missa make yousa move, bitch, getin out da way!
Ya-hoo, wherea inda tradition of rap battles isa written
Da two dudes onda same team should squabble likein some cluck chickens?
Man, Confucius, yousa always try put someth in its place!
Whya don;t yousa taleo yousa eyebrows thesa ne to feel bombad on yousa face?!
Okeeday, missa see, yousa wanna make it likein da?
Missa smack da warmonger head out of yousa to-go box hat!
Yousa couldn't measure missa style witha golden ruler!
Yousa doo-doo with Confucius, yousa getin doo-doo straight unto ya!
==Jim Henson vs Stan Lee==