This Asshead Ate Everything

This Asshead Ate Everything is the first episode of The Sampsons.
== Transcript ==
Humer: BERT!
Bert: whatcha bout big man
Humer: YOU ATE MY DAMN PANTS!
Bert: it’s life yo deal with it
Humer: YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR THE NEXT MONTH AND THREE QUARTERS! What do you have to say for yourself?
Bert: well man it ain’t cool you haven’t fed me in 3 days so i had to eat pant
Merge: Honey have you seen my glasses?
Bert: naw man i ate dem glasses
Merge: Honey I thought you only ate pants.
Bert: My appetite has increased. (bites Merge’s head off)
Merge: Honey that is not good we still have several months till Treehouse of Horror. (dead)
Production Team: Yeah she’s right Bert. Stay on script.
Bert: naw man can’t do that (eats set) scrumptious
Production Team: After him!
Bert: naw man i going to Apoo’s
(at there)
Apoo: hello welcome how are you come again
Bert: yum yum these are some wild snacks man
Apoo: Oh no you can’t not do that you must pay thank you come again
(Bert eats Apoo)
Apoo: I no longer appear in series thank you come again
Bert: i will chomp chomp on all of you
Moohouse: Hey Bert I don’t think that is such a good idea I mean I haven’t finished my homework and I don’t want it to be eaten-
Bert: YOU SHALL DO AS I SAY SLAVE!
Moohouse: Uh, uh, yes master Bert!
Bert: good that’s very radical of you, time to continue eating-
Production Team: Stop right there! We can’t have you eating everything, because then the show will be canceled and you will die.
Bert: cool i wanna die (keeps eating)
Production Team: How do we stop you from eating everything?
Bert: you can’t man, i’ll never stop, just like fappin’
Red Flanders: Don’t you diddly worry a bit, I can solve all of this with my diddle powers. Blech, that did not sound good. Anyway, Bert Sampson, go to hell.
Bert: gnarly dud- (falls into hell)
Red Flanders: Now that he’s gone I can destroy the town myself. I DIDDLY DIDDLED YOU ALL! (gets shot in the head)
Squidward: whoopsies that wasn’t my clarinet 
Production Team: Thanks Squidward Animated, Please Go Home Now.
(end)
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