Nintendo High School/Welcome to Nintendo High/Transcript

[The episode starts with Jason playing New Super Mario Bros. U while Brad plays Kirby's Return to Dreamland. They both pause, while Jason takes his 3DS and plays Pokémon X, Brad takes out his DS and plays Kirby Canvas Curse]
Brad: It would be so awesome to be a video game character.
Jason: You can say that again.
Brad: It would be so awesome to be a video game character.
Jason: Hey, what's this bottle?
[Jason picks up a bottle with a light in it]
Brad: I don't know.
[Jason opens the bottle, and a fairy flies out]
Fairy: Thank you for setting me free! As a reward, you get one wish!
Jason: Aren't we supposed to get 3 wishes?
Fairy: Yes, but I do it differently.
Brad: Can we wish for 3 wishes?
Fairy: No.
Jason: Can we bribe you?
Fairy: No! Now make your wish before lunch. I packed a PB&J sandwich!
[Jason & Brad look at each other and nod]
Jason & Brad: WE WISH THAT WE COULD GO TO NINTENDO HIGH SCHOOL!
Fairy: So, you don't want to wish for a PB&J sandwich?
Brad: If you give us 3 wishes we will.
Fairy: To Nintendo High School!
[The Fairy waves her wand and the two boys appear outside of Nintendo High School. They can see Mario, Ness, Luigi, Zelda, Donkey Kong, Lucario, and Tom Nook]
Brad: This is amazing!
Jason: It's what I've always dreamed of!
Brad: It's Mario! I'm gonna go get his autograph!
[Brad tries to run, but Jason stops him]
Jason: You can't ask Mario for his autograph!
Brad: You're right. He can barely hold a Baby Yoshi.
[Jason does a facepalm]
Jason: That's not why! They don't know that they're famous yet! If you ask for his autograph, then he might get suspisious.
Brad: You're right.
[The bell rings]
Jason: Our first class at Nintendo High starts in 3 glorious minutes!
[The Fairy reappears]
Fairy: No, you only get 1.
[Jason and Brad look at her with a "seriously" face. The fairy disappears]
Narrator: One minute later.
[Jason and Brad walk into Science class. They see Marth, Yoshi, Oshawott, Mr. Game & Watch, Shulk, Lucas, and Link]
Science Teacher: Hello there. I'm Miss. Booslirflirgin, but you can call me Miss. B.
Brad [whisper]: Good thing.
Miss B.: Now, for our first class, let's mix a bunch of chemicals together and see what happens!
[Jason raises his hand]
Miss B.: Yes, Jason?
Jason: Isn't that dangerous?!
Miss B.: Not when you have 99 lives! And if you run out, I have a supply cabinet filled with 100,000,000,000 1-Ups!
[Brad picks up a Black liquid and a brown liquid and mixes them together. It creates an explosion]
Miss B.: Don't worry! You all have 98 lives left.
Narrator: 97 lives later.
[Brad picks up a red liquid]
Miss B.: Please don't mix it with anything else!
Brad: Ok.
[Brad pours it in his mouth. He grows]
Jason: Hmm, I was certain that that would cause another-
[The outside of the door is shown. An explosion is heard]
Miss B.: Don't worry class! That's just another science class doing the same thing as us.
Brad: That, or my stomach exploded.
[Brad takes out a sandwich and shoves it down his throat]
Brad: Nope, we're good.
[The school bell rings]
Jason: Man, that was the best science class ever!
Brad: Yeah! I made 98 explosions and no one died!
[Little Mac passes behind them looking confused]
Jason: Yeah! This school is awesome!
Brad: No homework!
Jason: No boring work!
Both: AND NO BULLIES!
[They walk into their Social Studies class and see Bowser, King Dedede, Koopa Troopa, Ganondorf, Ridley, Mewtwo, Kamek, and Porky Minch.
Jason [whispers]: Oh yeah, villains.
[The bell rings and a snake like teacher slithers in]
Snake: Hello there sssssssstudents! I am Misssssster Ssssssnake, but you can call me Mr. Sssssss!
[Brad stands up and raises his hand]
Brad: Mr. S!
Mr. Snake: No, it's Mr. Sssssss, with 7 S's.
Brad: Anyway, did you go to this school?
Mr. Snake: Yessssss. I graduated and wassssss in a video game for the Game w/o Watch.
Brad: Who was the villain you had to defeat.
Mr. Snake: You don't get it. I wassssss the villain.
[Brad gulps hard and sits down]
Mr. Snake: Now today we will be reenacting the Gaming War, only that the bad guyssssssssss win. There are two good guyssssssssss. Jasssssson and Brad are the good guyssssss, while the ressssst of you are bad. Begin!
[The villains charge at Jason & Brad, but they duck and run to Mr. Snake's desk]
Jason: May we go to the bathroom, please!
Mr. Snake: You both have to go at the sssssssame time?
Brad: Yeah...
Mr. Snake: Very well. You may go to the resssssstroom.
Both: Thank you!
[They both run out the door and head to the bathroom]
Jason: That was close!
Brad: If we're going to survive History, then we'll have to make history.
[Bandana Dee does a rim shot. Jason and Brad look at him weirdly]
Bandana Dee: What? 4 years of drum lessons have to pay off somehow.
[Bandana Dee walks out of the bathroom]
Brad: Maybe we can use this make-up to make us look tougher! Then we'll be tougher.
Jason: That makes no sense, but it's the best we've got. Hey, who left this make-up in here anyway?
[Inkling Boy is shown walking in the hallway, but his mask starts wearing off. He reaches into his pocket]
Inkling Boy: Hey! Where'd my black make-up go?
[The scene cuts to the Social Studies room, and Jason & Brad walk in like thugs. They have fake tattoos, fake masks, and fake angry eyebrows.]
Jason [Toughly]: Yeah! We're back!
Brad: Hey, where is everyone?
Mr. Snake: The classsss got tired of waiting for you, so they made sssssssculptures of you too and ssssssmashed them! I dissssssmissssssed everyone 5 minutessssss early ssssssssso I could play my game.
Jason [Sadly]: Let's go back to the bathroom and wash this off.
[They walk into the hallway. They bump into the Inkling Boy]
Inkling Boy: Hey, have you seen my black make-up?
[Brad hands it to him]
Inkling Boy: Thanks!
[The two boys walk off screen. Inkling Boy puts his finger into the bottle]
Inkling Boy: Aw, it's empty!
[The scene cuts to the gym with R.O.B., the Ice Climbers, Balloon Fighter, Ness, Pikachu, Tom Nook, Kirby, and Meta Knight]
Gym Teacher: HI! I'M MR. JOMONE!
Jason: But we can call you Mr. J! I know the drill.
Mr. Jomone: THE LAST PERSON THAT CALLED ME MR. J HAD THEIR ARMS PULLED OFF!
[He points to Goomba crying on the bench]
Jason [Scared]: Understood.
Mr. Jomone: NOW TODAY, WE WILL BE RUNNING 6 LAPS AROUND THE TRACK!
Brad: Six laps?! Do we get a Super Star or something?
Mr. Jomone: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BUT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT! R.O.B. MAY GO!
[R.O.B. slowly heads for the track. He starts getting slightly faster, but is still pretty slow]
Mr. Jomone: NANA AND POPO.
[The Ice Climbers run to the track]
Mr. Jomone: THE GUY WITH THE BALLOONS!
[Balloon Fighter runs to the track]
Mr. Jomone: NESS!
[Ness also runs to the track]
Mr. Jomone: JASON & BRAD!
[They both start running to the track, but the camera follows them]
Brad: Alright, in order to have a good video game, we need to run these 6 laps fast.
Jason [Panting]: But you know that running one lap takes me 10 minutes.
Mr. Jomone [In the distance]: PIKACHU!
Brad: Relax! We're in the Video Game world. Our abilities are probably enhanced!
[Jason slows down, trying to catch his breath.]
Mr. Jomone [In the distance]: TOM NOOK!
Brad: Ugh! You'll never keep up with me! Here, take this!
[The boys are still running]
Jason: What is it?
Mr. Jomone [In the distance] [I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! NO ONE LEAVES UNTIL I COME BACK!
Brad: It's some kind of Super Speed orb. Tom Nook sold it to me before school. You go faster than you normally would, and it'll feel like you're walking.
Jason: But Tom Nook is a trickster! Are you sure it works?
Brad: Yeah! I bought two and ate one. It's working well!
Jason: Alright.
[Jason eats the orb. His pupils become green for 5 seconds, then return to normal]
Jason: Wow! I feel faster! Let's go!
[They both pass up R.O.B.]
R.O.B.: Six laps will happen in no time.
[They keep running and see Balloon Fighter. They keep up with him, until his balloons inflate and he flies backwards, going behind R.O.B.
R.O.B.: Ha. Ha. Ha.
[Balloon Fighter looks annoyed, so he gets up, and walks right past R.O.B. He then starts flying]
R.O.B.: Aw.
[Pikachu & Tom Nook pass up R.O.B.]
R.O.B.: AW!
[Jason and Brad make it up to the Ice Climbers. Nana slows down, asking Popo to wait. He then stand still for a while. Jason and Brad obviously passed them.]
[Ness is shown using PK Thunder]
Ness: PK THUNDER!
[Ness launches forward]
[Jason & Brad pass him]
Ness [Sadly]: PK Aw.
Mr. Jomone [In the distance]: ALRIGHT! I'M BACK! KIRBY MAY GO!
Brad: Yes! We're in the lead!
[Jason notices a rock]
Jason: Watch out!
[Brad notices too late and trips. Duck Hunt Dog emerges from a bush and starts laughing]
Brad: Grr!
[Brad grabs the rock and throws it at Duck Hunt Dog, causing him to fall]
Duck Hunt Dog: Hey, don't throw that at me, throw it at the ducks!
Brad: What ducks?!
Duck Hunt Dog:... Good point.
[He sinks into the bush]
[Kirby is shown passing everyone but Jason & Brad]
Mr. Jomone [Loudly]: META KNIGHT!
[Meta Knight starts flying across the track. When he gets to R.O.B., he sticks his sword into him, causing him to blow up]
Kirby: Yikes!
[Meta Knight reaches Tom Nook and Pikachu. He tickles Pikachu, causing him to electrocute Tom Nook. Meta Knight then throws him into a tree with a hawk. Pikachu gets attacked]
Jason: What the?!
Brad: Oh man! Meta Knight looks angry!
[Meta Knight flies up and reaches Balloon Fighter. He uses his sword to pop his balloons, causing him to fall.]
Kirby: Oh no!
[Meta Knight reaches the Ice Climbers]
Meta Knight: So! You like being warm, giving that you're wearing parkas in September?!
Popo: Uh... yeah...
[Meta Knight takes out a bucket of ice water and pours it on them, freezing them]
Brad: What an ironic twist.
Jason: Shut up and run!
[Meta Knight reaches Ness while he's using PK Thunder. Meta Knight destroys the Thunder part, so Ness falls]
Kirby: Oh no!
[Kirby reaches Jason & Brad]
Brad: What's up with Meta Knight?!
[They stop running]
Kirby: He's mad at me for beating him in this math game we played.
Jason: Don't stop to talk! Run while you talk!
[Meta Knight is very close! Jason & Brad keep running, while Kirby stops]
Jason: Dude, come on!
Kirby: No! It's me he wants!
[Meta Knight homes in on Kirby. He is about to strike him when Kirby eats him. Jason & Brad's eyes are replaced by two small black dots.]
Brad: That was amazing!
Jason: Now, let's finish those six laps!
[Just as they are about to start running, King Dedede pops out from a bush and hits them all with his hammer]
[The scene cuts to the Nurse's outside office, with R.O.B. in pieces, Tom Nook very burnt, Pikachu scratched badly, the Ice Climbers still frozen, Balloon Fighter has a lot of bad bruises and has three missing teeth, and Ness is banged up a lot. Jason, Brad, and Kirby are all very squished.
[The nurse with a face mask comes into the office]
Nurse: Jason, Brad, and Kirby, come with me into the Nurse's office.
[The scene cuts to her office. She takes off her face mask, revealing that she's Nurse Peach]
Nurse Peach: Alright guys! Kirby, you have no bones so you should be back to normal in about...
[Kirby returns to normal]
Nurse Peach: Right now. You're fine, just head to your next class. As for you, Jason and Brad, you guys have bones, and you broke about 42 of them. Luckily, I have a machine that can fix them all by the end of the day.
Brad: So, we'll miss the rest of our classes?
Nurse Peach: Yes.
[Jason & Brad try to high five each other, but hurt themselves in the process.]
Nurse Peach: Now let me take care of the other patients, and then I'll start the machine.
Narrator: 5 periods later.
[Jason and Brad are in the hallways]
Jason: Man, I feel as good as new!
Brad: Yeah! Why doesn't Earth have that machine?
Jason: Anyway, let's join a club! Hmm maybe Anger Management.
Brad: I CAN CONTROL MY ANGER... Yeah, lets join.
[They open the door, and see Resseti]
Brad: Hey, where's the teacher?
Resseti: THERE IS NO TEACHER!
Jason: Ok.
Captain Falcon: Is this Anger Management?
Resetti: YES!
Captain Falcon: Cool! Come in guys!
[Captain Falcon runs in, followed by Samus, Charizard, Fox McCloud, and Shulk. They all start fighting. Jason and Brad close the door.]
Jason: Let's not join that club!
Brad: Yeah, ok!
[Kirby comes running down the hallway]
Jason: Oh hey Kirby, what's up?!
Kirby: Run! I'll explain!
[They start running]
Brad: So, what's happening?!
Kirby: Meta Knight's chasing me again!
Jason: How?! You ate him!
Kirby: Well, when I left the area, he respawned.
Jason [Under his breath]: Stupid video game logic.
Brad: Why are we running?!
Kirby: Because he's mad at you guys, too!
Jason: Aw, man!
[Meta Knight catches up]
Meta Knight: I'm gonna get you!
[Meta Knight swoops down and tries to hit them, but misses]
Meta Knight: Darn!
[He tries again, but still fails]
Kirby: HA HA!
[Meta Knight returns to the top]
Jason: Man, how long is this hallway?
Brad: Corner!
[They turn the corner, and Meta Knight does too. Sadly, there is a sign that Meta Knight hits into, causing him to be knocked out]
Kirby: Yes! We won!
[They throw their fists in the air in victory, but Mr. Snake comes and see that Meta Knight is unconscious and they have their fists up]
Mr. Snake: Principal'ssssssssss Office!
Jason: But we didn't-
Mr. Snake: PRINCIPAL'SSSSSSSSSS OFFICE!
[The scene cuts to the principal's office, with the principal facing the wall]
Principal: Now, I know I'm ready for you, but...
[He turns around, revealing his face]
Principal Reggie: IS YOUR BODY REGGIE?!?!
[The episode ends]
Category:Episodes
Category:Kirby (series)
Category:Meta Knight
Category:Nintendo High School
Category:Transcripts