All 20.3 - Snap

Lucca sat on the couch in the common room, surrounded by a stack of books on one side, and a stack of muffins on the other. He flipped concertedly through a tome resting on his lap, using his right hand to alternate between jotting notes down in a notebook beside him and conveying muffin to his mouth. Most of the books were all about the subject of canines in one fashion or another, and had been easy to find thanks to the doctor's rigid adherance to a sorting system.
"Hey, you're out of bed!" Cress' voice interrupted Lucca's thoughts. The elf walked in and flopped himself on an adjacent chair. "Finally." He glanced over, trying to read the titles on the books, "What're you doin'? Taking a test or some shit?"
The druid made no move to acknowledge his friend's presence, his pencil barely pausing at the interruption. "Mmmh, no. Working." he answered curtly, without looking up. He turned his attention to the book, his lips moving slightly as he read a passage under an illustration of the phases of the moon, following the words with his finger, then returned to jotting things in his notebook.
"What the hell could you even be working on?" Cress asked. Lucca didn't reply, still focused on his task and his muffins. "So...wanna do something? It's boring as hell, and everyone's hanging out with someone else or asleep."
Lucca pursed his lips slightly, "Not right now, sorry. Busy."
Cress frowned slightly, "Dude, you just spent like, two days in bed. What's the rush now? We're not landing for a while either."
"I just need to do this right now." He replied firmly, the movements of his pencil becoming a bit more forceful.
Cress watched him for a few seconds, expression somewhere between angry and hurt. He sat back heavily, turning around to put his legs over the chair's arm; he thumbed his nose and sat quietly for another second or two before saying, "I know when I'm being blown off. At least be fuckin' straight about it."
The druid froze for a moment, then slowly put down his pencil and finally looked over at him. He chewed on his lip for a second, a potent mix of emotions swirling in his eyes before eventually saying quietly. "Look, I'm sorry. I just need space for a bit longer; this shit has got me so far off kilter, you have no idea. I'm not trying to be a dick to you."
"...Yeah," Cress said. He rolled himself up and out of the chair and walked away, "Fuckin' whatever..." he muttered bitterly as he walked out the door.
With a growl of dismay he scrubbed both hands over his face, taking a deep breath before calling after him, "Cress, come on. Don't be like that."
"S'cool. Have space," he called back from the hallway with a somewhat insincere veneer of nonchalance, not returning.
He flinched visibly at the elf's tone. "Cress! Fuck!" slamming his book shut, he tossed it aside, "I am sorry." Lucca got up and looked out into the hall to see Cress' feet disappearing up the entry to the upper deck. Scrubbing a hand through his hair with a harried sigh, he followed. "Wait!"
Cress didn't stop; Lucca caught up with him after he went into the storage room, which had been doubling as an exercise room and dojo for some time. "What?" he asked with a hint of grouchiness as Lucca entered. Without ever stopping to properly acknowledge his friend, he eyed the particular piece of piping on the roof that he used for training; half-running and half-climbing up the wall, he grabbed onto it, flipped around to hang by his knees and began doing sit-ups.
"I dunno, 'What?' yourself! What is eating you, dude? Are you really this pissed 'cause I asked for a bit more time? I said I was sorry..."
"Yeah, no, it's cool. You're scared of dogs, there were a fuck-ton of dogs, you're creeped, s'fine. Go do your shit," Cress replied, swinging himself back and forth. "I don't wanna bug you."
Lucca stared at him hard for a long moment, concern and uncertainty mingling in his expression. Eventually, he sighed heavily, "I...I just...okay...okay fine...whatever. I'm sorry. I'll go, come find me in an hour or so and we'll do something, alright?"
"Yeah," Cress sounded resigned, if nothing else.
The druid continued to look at him for a few moments longer, before slowly dropping his gaze and turning to leave, wrapping his arms tightly around himself as he slipped out of the room.
----
Lucca returned to his books, but quickly found himself utterly unable to concentrate. He fell to thinking, puzzling over what he had done to upset his friend. He knew he had done something; he didn't doubt for a moment that Cress's anger was vaild. But he could not for the life of him seem to figure out what it was. It wasn't long before he began to circle around a single possiblity: it was his fault they had ended up in such a mess on the mountain, he had been the one leading them up it. He knew that. Maybe Cress thought so too. The agitation of the thought soon had him up and pacing the boat forlornly. After the hour mark came and went with no sign of his friend he holed up in a corner of the mess.
----
“Hi!”
“Oh, hey little bro,” Cress looked over to see Virgil wandering in. It was the next day, and Cress was laying in the bunk room, tossing a rubber ball to himself. “What’s up?”
“Can you turn doggy again?”
“Uhh…” Cress sat up from where he was laying. “Why?”
“‘Cause I wanna see something,” he said innocuously, looking hopeful.
“...Yeah, sure, why not?” he said with a sigh. He sat and thought hard, scrunching up his face. He felt the tingle and the slipping feeling, but managed to shake it off. Opening his eyes again, he asked, “So, what was NYAH!” He clapped his hands to his ears as Virgil blew hard into a whistle that he had hidden in his pocket.
Finishing, Virgil grinned and stopped blowing. “What’s it sound like?!” he asked with excitement.
“Dude! Not cool!” Cress said angrily, taking his hands down. “How’d you like it if I blew a whistle in your ear?”
“But you can hear it?!” he was still excited.
“Seriously! That’s a jerk thing to do! Don’t go around doin’ that, or I’ll tell your dad.”
This got Virgil’s attention. He made a bit of a pout, eyes downcast, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how loud it had to be, ‘cause I can’t hear it.”
“Warning, dude! Give warning!”
“Okay...” he bowed his head.
“Gaaaah,” Cress rubbed at his ears. “Geeeeeze. Not cool.” Virgil sat quietly with a tinge of shame until Cress brought his hands down and said, “Sounds like a whistle. Sounds like a really loud, high whistle that someone blew into my ear.”
“I’m sorry!” Virgil stressed again.
Cress sighed, “Yeah, yeah. Don’t do it again, and it’s cool.” Virgil nodded, looking sad. “Ok, you can blow it again, but, like, turn it down a bit, ok?” Virgil nodded seriously, then blew on the whistle more gently. Cress’ ears folded back and he winced a bit, as he said, “Yeah, it’s like...like when you blow on a flute and it makes that squealing noise. But higher.”
Taking the whistle out of his mouth, Virgil replied, “Ick. That’s a gross sound.” “Yeah.”
“...M’sorry again.”
“Eh, you didn’t know. But seriously, dude, think it out.”
Virgil nodded, then explained, “Dad said that you an’ him an’ the doctor and Mr. Webber got attacked by magic dogs, and now you turn into dogs, an’ I had this whistle, an’ it’s for dogs so I wondered if you could hear it, so I went around blowin’ it but no one said anything, so I guess no one could, but then I thought that you could have dog ears, so maybe you needed those, but Dad won’t do the thing, and the doctor said no, an’ it was the actual no, not the kinda no, so I asked you ‘cause you did it before.” He bowed his head politely, “Thank you.”
“Yeah, it’s cool,” he said, with a slight bit of a huff.
Virgil looked at him for a few seconds before asking, “Can I see your tail?”
“Huh?”
Virgil pointed, “You gotta tail, right?”
“Uhm, yeah, I guess?” Cress sat forward a bit, revealing the fluffy white wolf tail that had appeared when he transformed.
The boy moved around to inspect it closely. “Why’s all the fur white, when your hair’s orange?”
“Dude, my hair’s white, you know that.”
“I’ve never seen it white.”
“That’s cause I dye it different colours. It’s not magic, it’s not gonna change what I haven’t dyed.”
Virgil considered this. “Are you gonna dye it too?" he looked at the tail, "Or would it disappear when your tail disappears?”
This gave Cress a moment’s pause, “...I have no idea, little bro.”
The boy was unfazed, “I’ma poke it, kay?”
“Yeah, sure. Don’t yank it, I guess?”
Virgil poked the tail tentatively before fluffing the fur on it. “Can you move it?”
Cress considered this, “...Huh. I don’t know. Let’s see…” He looked thoughtful, and the tail flipped about.
Virgil grinned and amused himself with the wagging tail, playing at catching it. After a little bit, Cress whapped the boy’s face, making him giggle. “That’s pretty cool,” Virgil admitted, sitting back up beside him.
“I guess,” Cress admitted. “Least you think so,” he added more quietly.
“Why?” Virgil was confused at this statement.
“Oh, uhh,” Cress faltered, having not really wanted to have brought it up. “Nothin’, just...you know…”
“It is pretty cool. Lucca can only do people, and full animals. He can’t do part animals, at least not yet. So you an’ Clover both beat him! You should have a contest to see who can do a better dog,” Virgil nodded as he finished.
“...Yeah…” Cress replied slowly.
Virgil cocked his head, “What’s wrong?”
“Huh? Nothin’. Why?” Cress looked at him in confusion.
“‘Cause your ears and tail went sad,” he explained, pointing.
“Oh, come on!” Cress said aggravatedly, looking up as though he could see his ears that way. He frowned and crossed his arms, his ears pinned back against his head, making Virgil giggle. “What’s wrong?” Virgil reiterated, “Don’tcha think you could beat Lucca?”
Cress made a huffing noise and muttered, “...Lucca’s not hanging out with me.”
This surprised Virgil, “Why not? Are you fighting? One time, Wally from school got in a fight with Pete, and they didn’t speak for like, a whole week.” According to his face and tone, this was entirely serious news.
“No, we ain’t fighting,” he replied.
“Then why not?”
“...Ugh…” Cress gave a heavy sigh, “I guess cause he’s afraid of dogs or some sh...stuff.”
This only served to perplex Virgil further. “...But you’re not a dog.”
“I know.”
“You don’t even have to look like a dog.”
“I know!”
Virgil made a face of disbelief, “...That’s super dumb.”
Cress flopped back again, “You said it, little bro.”
“Did’ja tell him it was super dumb?” he asked, turning to face him in his new position.
“Ugh. No, he just keeps telling me to go away, and I got sick of it. Whatever. S’not his fault.”
“But...but it’s super dumb! That’s like...like if he turned into a turtle, and I didn’t like turtles so I didn’t like him anymore cause he turned into a turtle one time!!”
“It’s fine, Virg, it’s cool. Don’t worry about it,” Cress waved it away.
“But!”
“Seriously, Virg, don’t,” Cress said, sitting back up again. “Don’t go bugging him, and don’t go telling him either. It’ll just make him feel bad, and I don’t want him sitting around being awkward like he’s visiting some sick guy in a hospital, waiting to get an excuse to leave. If he doesn’t wanna be around me, fine, I’ll just hang out elsewhere. It’s fine. S’not the first time people didn’t want me hanging around.”
“...Why not?”
“Eh, not everyone is as chill as the doc is about hanging out with people they don’t like.” Virgil frowned at this, then got up. “Seriously dude, please don’t go telling him,” Cress added again.
Virgil looked thoughtful, then folded his hands behind his back and said, “Ok,” as he gave a small bow. “I’ma go get a snack,” he added, straightening, “Thank you for telling me what the whistle sounded like!”
“No problem, little bro. Don’t blow it into people’s ears.”
“Ok!” he said brightly and dashed out of the room. He headed towards the mess, where he knew Lucca was sitting, and was reasonably certain that Cress hadn’t seen him cross his fingers behind his back when he had promised. On the lower level, Lucca was sitting alone in the mess, reading and demolishing a pile of sliced mango. Virgil ran in unannounced and sat across from him. "Whatcha doing?" he asked, stealing a piece of fruit and popping it in his mouth.
"Just reading a bit...what have you been up to?" the druid replied softly, setting his book down.
"Getting a snack," Virgil said, grabbing another piece. He looked at Lucca's withdrawn demeanour and frowned. "Why are you sad?" he asked with some incredulity, then added, "Cause Dad was kinda sad, and the doctor's been kinda grumpy too. But he's always kind of grumpy. It's a different grumpy."  
"Because I've got lots on my mind, and some of them are sad things..." he said with a shrug, "The mango good? You want something else?"
"Nah," he said. "What's sad? Nothin' seems sad. 'Cept Taro leaving with his mom, but you weren't that sad before."
"That trip we took to the mountains was a bad time; lame things happened, and I messed some stuff up. Nothing you've gotta worry about." he fiddled with a piece of his hair as he spoke, his gaze a bit distant.
Virgil frowned again, "...But, no one was super-bad hurt, and you got the thing, and you beat the monster, and no one died. That's all the story needs to have a happy ending. What got messed up?"
"Mmmh, I suppose. I dunno though, I'd say thats an alright ending, but not necessarily a happy one," he replied evasively.
The boy began to glare. "Stop not answerin'. Why're you sad? No one else said anything got messed up, and I even got Mr. Komatsu to tell me a story this time."
"...Leave it be, Virgil." The druid said wearily, "I'll get over it soon."
Virgil crossed his arms and glared harder, "You should get over it now."
"E-excuse me?" Lucca gaped at him in shock for a long moment before anger started creeping into his expression, his tone taking on a tinge of warning. "What was that? Just how do you figure?"
Virgil twitched slightly, but remained resolute: he knew he had the tiger by the tail, but wasn't going to let go. "Y-you won't say what's wrong, so either you're tryin' to hide it badly, or you're just being mopey." He grew in confidence as he spoke, making his argument. "You don't let Dad be mopey, so I'm not gonna let you. So, if you don't tell me what got messed up so it can get made better, then you're just being mopey."
Lucca stared at the boy for quite some time with narrowed eyes, clenching and unclenching his jaw. Eventally, with a quirk of his eyebrows he replied stonily, "I ain't mopin'. You wanna know what got messed up, bud? I literally walked us right into those cursed wolves and got my best friend cursed by 'em too. There were a million signs and a million times we should have turned back, and we didn't. I was leading that group; that was my job, and I screwed it up, and that's what happened. And the wolves cursed your dad, and the others too, while we were seperated, and I should have gone back for them sooner, maybe could have done something. And now I'm trying to figure out how to make it right, and how to keep everyone here safe until I can, and it's very, very hard." He finished and pressed his lips into a thin line, still holding Virgil with his gaze.
Virgil looked at him, thinking very hard about his words. "...Going back would have been dumb. No one gets anything ever going back. And...and if you're trying to make stuff better, how's being grouchy and mean helping?"
His look deepened to a scowl, "I need to use my head and my books to figure this out, and I guess I haven't been the most fun lately no. If that means I'm grouchy and mean...well I guess I'm just a jerk then. What can ya do?" He folded his arms and leaned back in his seat.
Virgil returned his scowl, tinted with a tinge of hurt. "I'd read a book that says that being mean to people and making them go away makes people sad." He looked down and rubbed his eyes. "But fine. Be mean."
Lucca just stared at the boy, his anger melting away and leaving a despondent look in its wake. With a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumped and he looked away. "I'm sorry, okay. Sorry. What do you want me to do? I know I suck right now, I know. That's why I was hiding away before, but that wasn't okay either. I don't know what you guys want from me."
Virgil folded his arms, still looking upset. Finally, he declared, "I want you to 'poligize. And I want a lollipop."
"I already did, but okay..." He sat up very straight and bowed his head, "I am very sorry, Virgil. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." After a moment he got up and went over to the pot, "What sort of lollipop do you want? Cherry? Bubblegum?"
"Cherry," he said definitively, joining him. He held out his hand to accept the sugary treat, which Lucca passed over. He looked up at Lucca expectantly as he began sucking on it.
"...What?"
"You're not done 'poligizing," he said, smacking the candy as he pulled it from his mouth. " 'M not the only one you're bein' a mean-head to." He pointed at the door and looked imperious. "Go 'poligize for ignorin' people," he added, putting the lolly back in his mouth.
"What are you talkin' about, dude?" Lucca blinked at him, bewildered, "Who?" Virgil just glared in response, as though Lucca should know full well, and pointed at the door with a frown.
"Don't you even give me that, kid." Lucca said, frowning back and turning to fish another lollipop out of the pot, before heading for the door, calling humorlessly over his shoulder as he left the room, "Are you gonna come and make sure I do a good job? Or are you checking later?"
"No," he sucked on his lollipop. With a look of smugness, he added, "And I didn't say anything, if anybody thinks I did."
"Yeah yeah, of course. Brat." He flashed a faint smile with the last word, then left in search of a certain elf.
Lucca found him in short order, following the rhythmic thumping that was coming from the bunk room. Cress, fully elf again, was laying on the bed, throwing a ball against the wall and catching it. He glanced over when Lucca entered, but didn't perk up any. "Hey," he muttered, looking back at his ball.
The druid regarded him silently for a moment before getting straight to the point, his eyes dropping to the floor as he began to speak, his voice quiet and hollow, "Look, dude...I'm sorry for being such a piece of shit to you these past few days. It's not cool of me, at all. I didn't mean to do it, but I guess I've been a pretty huge jackass. So I'm sorry, for that...for all of it...for everything." 
Cress looked at Lucca, then around. When the coast was obviously clear, he swore, "...Motherfucker, Virgil." He sighed, flopping his head back, "I don't want your fuckin' pity, dude; if you don't wanna be around, then don't be."
"I'm not giving you pity, I'm giving you an apology. Shit's different. And don't call Virgil that, he didn't do anything, 'cept point out that I'm a jackass. Which is fact." He paused, his arms twining themselves around his chest and each other, seemingly of their own accord. His voice was tight as he continued, "I'm sorry I'm a fuckup that walked you straight into a pack of werewolves and got you cursed. And then lost you in the forest. And then was a selfish prick and wasnt there for you when we got back to the boat. And then didn't apologize till now. I really am. You don't gotta forgive me or anything. I just want you to know that I didn't mean it. Any of it. And I'm sorry."
He tilted his head up, "...Ok, we all fuckin' walked into the wolves, not just you, and there were like, 500 of them anyway. How we only hit like, 10 of 'em is crazy. And then I lost myself in the forest; don't think you had anything to do with that at all." Laying back, he added, "Seriously? You're fuckin' blaming yourself for that shit? 'S stupid." 
Lucca simply shrugged and shook his head. "Neither woulda happened if I'd just done the fucking job right and not freaked like some sort of pansy-ass...I don't even know what. Whatever. It's done." He pursed his lips, "Anyway. I'm gonna find out how to fix it, and until then, I'm gonna keep you guys all safe when you turn. And I'll stop being a dick, in general."
"Pfft, good luck with the last one, dick," he said, a grin on his face. "And what the fuck are you talking about, 'keep us safe'? We turn into dogs; what are you gonna do, stop us from running into the road? The fuck kinda danger are we in as dogs? 'S not like we're gonna go fight fuckin' death monsters and go to doom temples and do the stupid-ass, death-defying shit we do every other day now. We just go somewhere like last time, and we spend the night rolling around like morons." He tossed the ball over to Lucca, "You don't even know why you were pissing me off, do you?"
The druid flinched and caught the ball, looking down at it as he turned it over in his hands. "Seeing as I watched a bunch of adventurers walk into the territory of, and then slaughter ten of those wolves without pausing to question it, plus the fact that we are travelling, possibly with the 'All' about to start tailing us any time now, and can't necessarily always guarantee we can get to as good of a spot as last time, I think there's a lot to worry about, yes." he replied quietly, seriously, "Nevermind keeping you guys from doing...something...to anyone." He pursed his lips and was silent for a long moment before, looking up at his friend, shaking his head sadly and adding. "And I have no idea what I did, no. I've just been trying to get my shit together and keep out of everyone's way..."
"Fuckin' Chaav man. Dude, we killed 'em cause they were tryin' to do the same to us; pretty sure people usually only kill mad dogs. Did we even try to bite you? 'Cause I don't remember any fighting. Meanwhile, those village fuckers, as dudes, totally trapped Mr. E, Mr. W and the doc to kill them. They were killin' us as dogs, cause they were killin' us as people too. So yeah, Mr. E has to be somewhere where people won't piss him off so he doesn't mess 'em up, like he kinda always has to, but I doubt the rest of us are flying off the handle. Or are you legit afraid of, like game hunters or something? 'Cause the chances of that seem pretty fuckin' low. And if the All are gonna kill us, then they're gonna kill us, don't even fuckin' start worrying about that. If one's gonna pop in and kill us as dogs, they could pop in and kill us sleeping or shitting or right as we're done getting fucked up by whatever the hell else we're fighting." He held out his hand for the ball, "So seriously, stop fuckin' worrying, geeze. And I was mad at you for being a dick, babyeater."
Lucca flinched at his final words as if the elf had physically struck him. He gaped at him for a long moment, his lower lip slowly beginning to tremble and his shoulders slumping. Blinking, he looked away and swallowed hard, "O-okay...um...sure...uh...cool...cool." Taking a couple shakey breaths, he swallowed again, his voice a hoarse whisper, "Suh-sorry?...I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so-" He clapped a hand over his mouth, a panicked look in his eyes, and after a moment's hesitation turned and darted out of the room.
"Oh, for the love of...Lucca!" Cress bolted up and dashed after him. Running full out down the hall after him, he lept forward and grabbed Lucca, the momentum sending both men tumbling. "What the fuck, Lucca, geeze, what's wrong?" Cress asked as he practically pinned his friend.
"Cress! Cress, don't! Let me up!" The druid yelled back, trying frantically to shove the elf away and get back to his feet, "Get off of me! I'm gonna be sick!"
"Rgh, fine," Cress let him go.
As soon as he was given a clear shot, Lucca was up and running down the hall to the bathrooms. Charging into one of them, he collapsed to his knees in front of the toilet and threw up, twice, before burying his face in his hands and curling in on himself, his breaths coming hard and sharp.
"...You need anything?..." Cress ventured, standing in the doorway, looking concerned and a bit sad, but gazing off to the side to try and not look too invasive.
"...No...No I'm fine...I'm sorry..." He replied between breaths. After a few moments he looked up at the elf questioningly, apprehension and poorly concealed hurt mingling in his eyes.
"Geeze, I'm sorry, I...ugh," he sighed and leaned heavily against the doorframe, arms crossed, "I didn't mean it like that. I just...you have your thing right? And it's like, I only found out by accident, and you didn't explain it, so I didn't bring it up right? And finally, you do tell me, and it's creepy and weird and you're still not telling me stuff and I still don't get it, but you're my friend, right? And it bugs you, so I tried really, really hard to be cool about it, and...and then this happens, and it's stupid, stupid dumbass curse disease turning me into a dog, which is like, the most stupid thing ever, and it's scary and weird and, just, fuck..." his eyes were downcast the entire time, and he was obviously getting more upset the longer he spoke, his voice dropping lower, "...and so now I've got a stupid, weird thing that I gotta hide and everyone freaks about...and, and it's fine, I can deal, right? ...But you wouldn't look me in the eye anymore, kept blowing me off...and, and I know you're afraid of dogs, and I know that it's, what, catching? Somehow? So, it's like...fine...s'cool. It just...just sucks..." Cress' eyes were moist; he rubbed his nose and blinked it away.
"...how...how could you think that...?...wh-what...what sort...o-of...m-m-monst-" he took a couple quick, shuddering breaths, the tears that had welled up in his eyes threatening to spill down his cheeks, "...the fuck...sorta...m-monster," He drew a sharp breath, loosing the battle to keep from crying, "d-do you take me for..? I...I...it's because I did this to y-you!...B-because I fucked up and let this happen!! To my...to my...b-best f-f-friend!! Not because I'm af-f-fraid of fucking dogs or...or am scared of you...or some shit...! F-fuck!" Clapping his hands to the sides of his head, he leaned forward, curling into a tight ball and sinking his teeth into his lip in an effort to fight back the sobs.
"Dude..." Cress slid down and sat on the floor across from him, "Lucca, no one thinks this is your fault, dude. How in the bloody hells were you supposed to know about dog curses? And like...there were like hundreds of wolves, yeah? You got us around like, hundreds of wolves in a forest you've never been in before, and got us up a fuckin' mountain in a day. And then you killed like, the fuckin' king of all nightmare wolves! So, yeah, we got attacked once, but if you weren't there, we woulda got attacked by a billion more, and probably wouldn't have made it up there anyway, and even then wouldn'ta killed the big bad wolf." He bit his lip, and continued, "I'm sorry...M'sorry I was a prick, thinkin' you were just being a jerk. It's just...not the first time people have blown me off, right? So I...yeah, I was a prick, I'm sorry."
The druid pointedly ignored his arguement. "It's fine...It's f-fine...y-you're not the one...who should be...s-sorry...so...so don't ap-apologize...to m-me..." his words came muffled and choked between sobs. "It's...c-cool..."
Cress sighed and folded his arms up, "No. No, it's not. It's not cool if you keep sitting there thinking that it's your fault. I don't know how to get you to stop, but you've gotta. Cause otherwise, you're just gonna feel guilty forever, and that shit's not worth your time. I'm not gonna sit and let you beat yourself up over something that's not your fault."
Lucca curled up a bit tighter, "...don't waste your time...It's fine...I'm...I'm fine..." he took a deep breath and swallowed hard a couple times, trying to get himself under control again, "I...I...jus...just gotta...settle..."
"No you're not. If this is what's been making you screwy for the last three days, it's not fine at all. Stop saying everything's cool if it's not. Why do you think any of this is your fault? And don't give me BS about it's cause you're a druid and should know absolutely fucking every damn thing on the planet. Cause frankly, this shit is magic anyways, cause no fuckin' normal wolves I know turn other things into wolves. And it bein' magic didn't stop the two fuckin' casters from walkin' straight fuckin' into it too."
"...because it is...it just is..." taking another deep, shuddering breath, he let it out slowly and sat back up. Rubbing irritably at his still watering eyes with the heel of his hand, he continued, "...so many signs...so many things I knew...knew I shoulda done different...even then...mistakes...fuck..." He heaved a melancholy sigh, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For that. For everything since. For this horseshit right here." He wiped roughly at his cheeks, scowling slightly. "I didn't mean to make you feel like shit...and be so selfish..."
"Dude, we all made mistakes! The three guys we were all kind of hoping to have it on the ball, literally walked into a dumbass trap. You weren't there; that was all on them. And even if through some weird-ass psychic fluke you knew about this stuff beforehand, what were we gonna do? Not go to the echo? Keep running around until we find one that's totally safe, which probably doesn't exist? How's anyone going to stop those invading fuckers if we start doing that? You're not the only guy who knows shit, you're not the only guy who's camped in the bush, you're not the only guy with crazy magic powers, so yeah, everyone fucked up. No one's blaming you for anything, 'cept you, and you're gonna stop. And fuck, stop apologizing. Both of us fucked up. Both of us are sorry. It's done, everything's forgiven, we're square, no more apology bullshit." He pointed at Lucca, "Don't even fucking argue."
The druid pursed his lips and gave the slightest nod in response, silent save for the odd sniffle as he continued to struggle futilely to stem the flow of tears.
"Ok. Now fuckin' forgive yourself, because I'm pretty sure you're the only one blaming you, and you're the only one who hasn't forgiven you, 'n otherwise you're just gonna be hella deep in guilt, right?"
Lucca looked away, and after a long moment nodded slightly once more, "...sure...guess so..."
Cress watched him for a moment, then said, "...Ok. I'm serious though. Stop beating yourself up. It wasn't your fault, and that's it, ok?" He gave Lucca another moment to compose himself, then held out his fist, "Cool?"
Lucca regarded the proferred fist for a few seconds, then smiled weakly, "...Yeah...s'cool." Raising his own fist, he lightly tapped his knuckles against the elf's.
Cress smiled, then pushed himself up onto his feet, still squatting to stay level with his friend. "How's your stomach? Wanna get some pie?"
"...been better, but I'm certainly down for pie." He said, smiling back a little more strongly and wiping his hand across his face a final time before getting to his feet. Cress stood up and helpled pull his friend up, and the pair walked off down the hall to the mess.
Category:Advent of the All