PMC Moyai Group

PMC Moyai Group is an alleged paramilitary organization and armed wing of Moyai Records, founded in 2023 by Moyai-signed musician Cingram in the unrecognized separatist territory of the People's Democratic Republic of Ohio. It is armed and funded by the Moyai label, with assistance from the People's Republic of Jackfuckistan and various minor allied groups.
== Relations ==
Moyai Group, being directly connected to Moyai Records, has close ties to the People's Republic of Jackfuckistan and both its government and military. It also receives limited protection and support from the People's Democratic Republic of Ohio. However, the bulk of Moyai Group's equipment and funding comes from the revenue generated by the sale of Moyai Records music and merchandise.
Moyai Group's only declared enemy is record labels deemed 'inferior'. There is no known standard for qualifying labels as inferior, however. In practice, its operations target individuals and groups connected to the countries of Uzbekistan, Angola, Ukraine, and Finland. Uzbekistan in particular has been the most heavily targeted, most likely due to its hostile relations with Jackfuckistan.
== History ==
=== Founding and early operations ===
According to official Moyai Group communications, the PMC was founded in early 2023 in response to increasingly hostile actions by rival music labels and Cingram needing something to do with his spare time. Its first armed action, undertaken later that day with two rifles purchased from a nearby pawn shop, was the assassination of a police officer who was in the process of giving an official Moyai Records car a ticket for parking in a loading zone.
The group is estimated to have grown to its current size (quoted as 'at least 4') by May of 2023, when it began a full-strength campaign against several people who accused the group of being 'a shitty Wagner Group ripoff'. This campaign was declared a success two weeks later after five reported homicides and the occupation of two studio apartments.
On May 21st, Cingram declared a complete halt to Moyai Group operations, to continue until he could create a decent emblem for the group.
=== Post-hiatus activity ===
Operations re-commenced on the 14th of June, with a plot to bomb a Ukrainian airliner. This attempt ultimately failed, however, when the aircraft caught fire without intervention. Moyai Group took credit anyway, stating to members of the press "We called first, not our fault these fucking Ukrops do not respect the rule of dibs."
On the 24th of June, Moyai Group staged a twenty-second rebellion in the official Moyai Records discord server. It consisted of calling Zer an "Uzbek retar (sic)". One Moyai Group spokesman described it as "...honestly not even a rebellion, [Cingram] doesn't need an excuse to yell at Zer." Operations against enemies of Moyai Records recommenced less than an hour later, when two mercenaries set off a bicycle bomb in Kyrrkyz, Uzbekistan. The blast injured a donkey and an Uzbek man attempting to have sexual congress with it.
=== Luanda Terror Plot ===
In late July of 2023, the group began plotting a major terror campaign on Luanda, the capital city of Angola. The attack allegedly would have involved agricultural aircraft hijackings, sniper attacks against the Finnish consulate and Ministry of Fisheries, and bombing of taxi cabs to avoid the fares the plot would have incurred. The plot was broken up after two senior commanders became highly intoxicated and accidentally bombed the airliner they were taking for their flight to Angola. Despite the dissolution of the plan, one militant already in position in Luanda successfully destroyed a taxi and damaged two others at a depot with a hand grenade. It is unclear what this accomplished.
== Equipment ==
There is no standard equipment for Moyai Group mercenaries, but the vast majority of weapons used are Jackfuck unlicensed copies of British firearms. The Lee-Enfield and L1A1 Self-Loading rifle are both common issue, as are Sterling sub-machine guns.
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