Marriage Mayhem

Marriage Mayhem is the thirty-third episode of The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show, and the eleventh episode of the third season. 
The episode was written by and released on October 5, 2022.
==Transcript==
[No Intro plays, instead opening with a wide shot of Glove World, continuing from the previous episode; Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig walk over to the Tunnel of Glove]
Mummy Pig: We would like to go on the Tunnel of Glove.
Glove World employee: That will be $10, please.
Mummy Pig: Can I pay in British pounds?
[Pause.]
Glove World employee: Yeah sure.
[Mummy Pig hands the employee the money, and she and Daddy Pig go into the Tunnel of Glove, Mummy Sheep then walks by]
Mummy Sheep: I would like to go on the Tunnel of Glove.
Glover World employee: Alone, eh? $5.
Mummy Sheep: Can I pay in British pounds?
[Pause.]
Glover World employee: *moans* Yeah sure.
[Mummy Sheep hands the employee the money, and goes into Tunnel of Glove; Cut to Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig riding the Tunnel of Globe]
Daddy Pig: According to my old friend SpongeBob, the ride is pretty spooky!
Mummy Pig: Lol.
Daddy Pig: You know what, I think it was broken.
Mummy Pig: Lol.
Daddy Pig: Stop saying lol!
Mummy Pig: Lol.
[Pause.]
Mummy Pig: Sorry.
Daddy Pig: *sighs* Mummy Pig, can I ask you something?
Mummy Pig: Yeah?
[Daddy Pig stands up and gets on his knees]
Daddy Pig: Mummy Pig, will you remarry me?
[Zoom over to Mummy Sheep]
Mummy Sheep: *gasp*
French Narrator: To Be Continued...
[Pause.]
Mummy Sheep: Hey! Didn’t this scene happen at the end of the last episode?
Narrator: Mummy Sheep is breaking the 4th wall.
[Zoom over to Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig]
Daddy Pig: Did you hear that?
[Pause.]
Mummy Pig: Nope.
[Cut to a wide shot of a now sunny Bikini Bottom-Peppa Pig World border, with words showing up saying “Coral Blue Productions Presents”; cut to wide shot of Conch Street, with showing up saying “In collaboration with PI Network, Soul TV, Tealevision, Squidy Network, and all the other TV networks this show airs on”; cut to Patrick’s Rock, with the tittle card showing up; cut to Squidward’s house, with text showing up saying “Written by MrDaGuy”; cut to SpongeBob’s house, with text showing up saying “Produced by Vanilla Ploop”; zoom into SpongeBob’s dumpster, where SpongeBob and Sikowitz tossing Mummy Sheep and Gary 2’s Rishmas tree in said dumpster]
SpongeBob: One... Two... Three...
SpongeBob and Sikowitz: TOSS!
[They then throw the tree in the dumpster]
Mummy Sheep: [Walks by] Hi guys. I- IS THAT MY RISHMAS TREE?!
Sikowitz: Uh...
[Pause.]
Sikowitz: No.
Mummy Sheep: *sighs* Listen guys, Daddy Pig planing to remarry Mummy Pig-
SpongeBob: But isn’t he going to marry you?
Mummy Pig: *sighs* Sadly, not any, at least as it seem.
[Pause.]
SpongeBob: So, what do want me to do?
[Pause.]
Mummy Pig: I want you to forgive Daddy Pig and get a Gary 3.
[Pause.]
SpongeBob: *sighs* You’re right. I should! I can’t just keep him out forever!
Mummy Sheep: That’s the spirt!
SpongeBob: Let’s roll.
[Cut to the Krusty Krab, where Daddy Pig and Mummy Sheep are arranging a wedding between them]
Squidward: Aren’t you already planning a wedding between you and another woman?
Daddy Pig: Well...
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: I’d like to cancel that wedding.
Squidward: Ok, let me just rearrange the papers... [Gets abut a House Fancy magazine; Daddy Pig then grabs it out of his hand] HEY!
Daddy Pig: Set up that wedding!
Squidward: *sighs* Another day, another migraine.
[Zoom out to SpongeBob, who is spying on them and talking with Mummy Sheep with a Goofy Goober-branded walkie talkie]
SpongeBob: Pssst! Cheese Man to Suzy Sheep’s Dead Body! Come in Suzy Sheep’s Dead Body!
Mummy Sheep: *on walkie talkie* Wait, why am a called “Suzy Sheep’s Dead Body”?
SpongeBob: That’s not important right now! What is important is that Daddy Pig has canceled the wedding...
Mummy Sheep: *on walkie talkie* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
SpongeBob: ...between you and him.
Mummy Sheep *on walkie talkie* Shit.
SpongeBob: Don’t worry! We’ll figure something out!
[Cut to Daddy Pig’s extended family sitting at a large dinner table]
Grandpa Pig: Good job on getting Mummy Pig back, Daddy Pig!
Daddy Pig: Thanks.
Uncle Pig: Like I alway’s say, you are nothing like me.
Daddy Pig: You’re just jealous because Aunty Pig divorced you and now you’re living with Stanley S. SquarePants!
[A joke advertisement for “The Stanley and Uncle Pig Show” briefly appears]
Uncle Pig: He kicked me out for murdering Larry the Snail 2!
Daddy Pig: What are you doing? Begging Aunty Pig to let you back in her house?
[Pause]
Uncle Pig: Yes.
Granny Pig: Well let’s just be thankful that Daddy Pig got Mummy Pig back!
All (Except Uncle Pig): *cheers*
Uncle Pig: *grunts*
[Cut to Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig’s bedroom, where Peppa Pig is watching Mummy Pig finish putting on her bride outfit]
Peppa: Wow Mummy, you look pretty in that outfit.
Mummy Pig: Thanks, Peppa. I can’t believe Me and Daddy Pig are getting remarried!
[Cut to Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig’s bathroom, where Daddy Pig and George are]
Daddy Pig: Ok George, now I’m gonna teach you how shave.
Narrator: Daddy Pig is teaching his two-year old son to shave.
George: *giggles*
Daddy Pig: Ok, so first you-
French Narrator: One hospital visit later...
[Cut to the Pig family walking over to the Krusty Krab]
Daddy Pig: Well, that shaving accident is all behind us now! Let’s go get married!
Mummy Pig, Peppa, and George: Yeah!
[Zoom out to reveal SpongeBob (carrying an animal cage) and Mummy Pig following the family, cut to Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig whispering to the celebrant from Truth or Square]
Celebrant: *whispers* Ready?
Daddy Pig: *whispers* Yes.
[The Celebrant nods]
Celebrant: Mummy Pig, do you take Daddy Pig as-
Pedro Pony: BOOOOOOO!!! GET TO THE PART WHERE THEY DO THE SEXY!
Celebrant: Didn’t you die on August 19 due to indigestion?
Pedro Pony: Well yes but actually no.
Celebrant: Nevermind. Anyway, Mummy Pig, do you take Daddy Pig as your beloved husband?
Mummy Pig: I do.
Celebrant: And Daddy Pig, do you take Mummy Pig as your beloved wife?
Daddy Pig: I d-
[SpongeBob, Sikowitz, and Mummy Sheep burst in]
All: *gasp*
SpongeBob: Daddy Pig, No!
Mummy Sheep: You can’t be serious!
Sikowitz: I’m also here!
Daddy Pig: Mummy Sheep!? What are you doing here?
Mummy Sheep: *Gets on stage* Daddy Pig, who do you really love?
[Pause; Daddy Pig looks at Mummy Sheep, then Mummy Pig
Daddy Pig: *sighs* Sorry, Mummy Pig. [Looks over to the Celebrant] I would like to marry Mummy Sheep.
[Mummy Pig runs out of the Krusty Krab, crying]
Celebrant: *sighs* So, Mummy Sheep, do you take Daddy Pig as your beloved husband?
Mummy Sheep: I do.
Celebrant: And Daddy Pig, do you take Mummy Sheep as your beloved wife?
Daddy Pig: I do.
Celebrant: You may now kiss the bride.
[Daddy Pig and Mummy Sheep kiss]
All: *cheers*
[SpongeBob (Holding an animal cage) runs onto the stage]
SpongeBob: Daddy Pig!
Daddy Pig: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I finally forgave you for killing Gary 2.
Daddy Pig: You finally came to your senses?
[Pause.]
SpongeBob: No I just got a Gary 3.
[SpongeBob opens the animal cage, Gary 3 hops out]
Gary 3: Hello.
SpongeBob: Ms. Rabbit says he has a defect the none of the other snails the look identical to Gary have. I wonder what it is-
Gary 3: Joe Biden stole the election. Trump is the real president.
Larry: *off screen* He right!
SpongeBob: Oh.
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: Wow. Just wow. So much stuff has happened today, I feel a song coming on!
Gary 3: Oh no.
Daddy Pig: 🎵I know, you see
[Clips from previous episodes start showing during the song]
Somehow the world will change for me
And be so wonderful
Live life, breathe air
I know somehow we're gonna get there
And feel so wonderful
It's all for real
I'm telling just how I feel so
Wake up the members of my nation, it's your time to be
There's no chance unless you take one and the time to see
The brighter side of every situation, some things are meant to be
So give me your best and leave the rest to me
Leave it all to me, (leave it all to me), leave it all to me, just leave it all to me🎵
[Cut to outside of the Krusty Krab, where Mummy Pig is crying. Sikowitz walks outside and sits next to Mummy Pig]
Sikowitz: Hey, baby! Wanna get married?
Mummy Pig: *wipes her tears* Well, I-
Sikowitz: I pinky swear not to sleep with other woman.
[Cut to Sikowitz and Mummy Pig getting married]
Celebrant: Mummy Pig, do you take Sikowitz as your beloved husband?
Mummy Pig: I do.
Celebrant: And Sikowitz, do you take Mummy Pig as your beloved wife?
Sikowitz: I do.
Celebrant: You may now kiss the bride.
[Cut to Daddy Pig, who’s in the crowd]
Daddy Pig: What the fuck?
[Cut to SpongeBob’s pineapple, where SpongeBob and Daddy Pig are saying goodbye to Sikowitz]
SpongeBob: Goodbye!
Daddy Pig: Good luck!
Sikowitz: Thanks guys. Now off to Peppa Pig World I go!
Daddy Pig: *Closes the door* SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes?
Daddy Pig: Let’s burn all of his stuff later.
SpongeBob: Agreed.
[Daddy Pig, SpongeBob, Mummy Sheep, and Gary 3 all sit down on the couch]
SpongeBob: It’s good to have you back Daddy Pig!
Daddy Pig: Yeah! Now let’s all watch some good old television!
[Daddy Pig turns the TV on, where an episode of The World of SBFW is playing]
Jess: *on TV* Yeah, that film sucked.
CrazySponge: *on TV* I KNOW RIGHT!
Jess: *on TV* I was bored throughout the entirety of that pointless subplot with Finn and Rose and that casino and-
CrazySponge: *on TV* wait what was that
Jess: *on TV* I didn't like the subplot?
CrazySponge: *on TV* no no, that last part?
Jess: *on TV* Finn and Rose are pointless characters that don't contribute anything to-
CrazySponge: *on TV* A CASINO! WE COULD BUILD A CASINO! IT'S PERFECT TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEM!
[Pause.]
Jess: *on TV* What problem?
CrazySponge: *on TV* NEVERMIND! tell my slaves to start work on the first box productions casino, immediately.
Perch Perkins: Hi, Perch Perkins, here, with some breaking news.
Daddy Pig: I wonder what it is...
Perch Perkins: The Trial of Boris Johnson will be sometime later this year.
[Pause.]
Mummy Sheep: That guilty bitch.
[After a pause, everyone falls to the floor in a fit of laughter.]
Narrator: Mummy Sheep loves calling out Boris Johnson! EVERYONE loves calling out Boris Johnson!
Category:2022
Category:2022 Episodes
Category:2022 Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show
Category:Daddy Pig Cinematic Universe
Category:MrDaGuy
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:PI
Category:PI Network
Category:Coral Blue Productions
Category:2020s
Category:Blue Lobster Productions