2014.04.15 - Attack of the 50-foot Catwoman

Everyone's known that the Joker is going to do something. And if he publicly announces it, that means it has to be big. The entire city has been on edge; it's impossible to predict what he might do, but after managing to break into the most well-secured bio-lab around and stealing an unknown item from the most dangerous section, it could be anything. A killer plague? An explosive? Some kind of cloud of mutating gas? Or it could be completely harmless, and genuinely meant to just surprise and mock people. Not even the Batman can tell, ahead of time.
Running down a busy street where the skyscrapers are large and ominous is an oversized icecream truck. The sound is playing, although it's not really able to get to anyone all the same. At a four-way stop, it goes right through a red light, causing a number of cars to screech to a halt, and a couple harmless rear-endings.
A moment later, the large icecream cone on the top EXPLODES. Fireworks go off in all directions, whirling high into the sky in bursts and sparkles, some shattering windows of the high-rises, as the icecream jingle turns to trumpets, so loud people on the block have to cover their ears. Some moments later confetti starts raining down within a good city block, lasting about a dozen seconds.
The Joker is then standing on top of the truck, on a large, circular metal device that hums lightly. In all the chaos, nobody can really say how he got there, especially surrounded by jagged wreckage.
"WELCOME!" he states, the audio of the ice cream truck echoing for multiple blocks. "I am sure you all know me! The delightful JOKER!" He begins to juggle a few balls, before catching all six. Everyone still looks shocked, so he sneers and points. From the driver's side window a shot goes off, and a civilian collapses. People start to shriek and panic. "What does it take to impress you all?! FINE."
He whirls on his circular platform. "I saw a hilarious movie last week. I was in a bit of a SLUMP. Down in the dumps. First time I had laughed in far too long!! So I figured, hey?" Shoulders lift, and his expression is a sort of 'what, me worry?'. "Why not just bring it to Broadway? Re-enactment? But... better!! I'll make it even BETTER!! Who wants to see?!"
Everyone's running away, the injured civilian being pulled along. After a few moments, "Good! Nobody objects! Well, I guess I'll get started, then!"
In the skies, already, Danielle is doing her regular flying around clouds, sometimes pestering airplanes, but otherwise just feeling the exhiliration of flight. Then fireworks come zipping up in her direction, exploding around her, and she's dodging about, looking down at what is happening below. When some of the sparks catch her clothing on fire and she has to quickly pad it down giving the Joker time to say and do whatever it is he's going to do. She's still new to being out of the 'hospital' and she's texting a message to Tony Stark <<Hey, do you know a guy named Joker? Just set off some fireworks. And I think shot somebody...>> Then she tucks away her phone, looking about her person to make sure not much beyond a few new holes in her clothes has happened. For now she remains high above the events.
The loudness of the trumpets does affect someone whose ears are very sensitive. Cats throughout the one-block area flatten their ears and scamper off, away from the piercing noise, but one of them doesn't run away, although he does flatten his ears. This wasn't nearly as bad as the time that Robin (now Cardinal) blew up a bike in his vicinity and deafened him temporarily, but it was bad enough. It's too much for him to properly concentrate on becoming invisible, so the vigilante known as Vorpal decides to risk going au naturel instead.
By that he means going completely exposed. Without invisibility.
He's still got his clothes on, jesus christ, people.
He jumps from rooftop to rooftop, racing towards the epicenter of that horrible sound. When he stops at a low building overlooking the area, he gasps and quickly thumbs his communicator on. "I don't know if anyone's on duty but we have a bad case of clowns... the Joker, home on my signal."
He strains to speak into the device over the horrible noise, hoping that at least someone from the Avengers is listening. He does not want to face the Joker alone. Not again, not ever
Floyd Lawton doesn't flinch when the fireworks go off, having more or less expected something along those lines. He's sitting on a bus bench, covering up the optimistic, gleaming mug of some real estate agent. He has a cigarette, half-smoked, dangling from his lips, his hands in his pockets as he leans back. His pistols are on display, too, his shoulder rigs showing, along with the butts just beneath his arms. For now, he's just curious, watching. If he knows Joker, and he does, this big noise is part of a much sicker ploy.
It so happens that The Joker shares a particularly striking appearance with Judson Jakes's Killer Clowns army. So while Rocket doesn't know this Joker schmuck from Adam, the appearance he catches during a news report dredges up a lot of not very fond memories. So he's in New York... having Cosmo on Knowhere run a scan of the various communications activity going on from Knowhere. He's packing just his pistols, a few explosives in his belt, and a large blaster rifle strung on his back. But as soon as Cosmo alerts him to a match on the emergency bands Rocket kicks off from where he's been waiting with a blast from his occassionally mis-named Rocket Skates and heads towards the area at top speed. His dextrous little hands pulling free his blaster pistols from his holsters. Clowns, why did it have to be Clowns. The fireworks ahead seem to suggest that he's heading for the right spot.
A WIIIIIIIITCH! A WIIIIII-- eeeh... Rain's comparatively harmless, and given the demand for various occult detective services (please, no more exes to hex!), she's generally left alone Few people really want to muck with a rumored witch, even in this day and age. Also, healing. A lot of people get holes put in them in Gotham for some reason or another. Rain was taking her broomstick while she runs errands. She keeps to quieter and lower traffic parts of the city. When suddenly, he came in like a wrecking ball.
And poor kitties. Poor, poor kitties. Rain has a definite pro-cat bias, given that she is a witch. Still, the loud noises make her wince and she comes 'round to investigate. Just in time for the show. A blink. "Oh geez."
Among the crowd is Miles Morales, riding in a car with his parents. Miles is chatting away when things begin, "I can't wait to see this mov...hey, what's that?" It's the ice cream truck that has his attention, moments before the explosion. The car stops and Miles' parents watch in horror until the gunshot, then his father turns back to tell Miles to get out of the car, only to find that he's already gone. A few moments later, The Spider is swinging through the air at the end of a long line of webbing.
Tony, true to his word, arrives a few minutes later.
Wait, isn't he missing something? A little underdressed? Perhaps lacking a little something like a suit of weaponized power armor?
Nah, it's casual Friday. Or whatever day it is.
He watches the goings on and makes his way to find Dani. She's not hard to find, and he gets to her side and nods, "So, what's the Imp up to this time?" he asks.
"I'll give three guesses to the movie I'm going to recreate! Three! If you guess right, I won't do it. I'll just go home, defeated!" the Joker challenges, still simply standing upon the humming metal circle. He's turning around, but there's really not many civilians who are even paying attention at this point. "Come ON! Nobody?! Where's the Riddler, he'd probably be a HERO. Like he wants, so badly!" In the distance the sound of NYPD can be heard, whirring into action. The traffic jam, unsurprisingly, makes this a bit difficult, as does the rapidly declining civilian population. He's still just standing there like an idiot in the open, though. That is always the safest course of action. Nobody'd actually HURT a villain! That goes against the rules!
When Tony arrives, Danielle is soon next to him on the ground, very quickly, faster than most can perceive and without a ripple of air or anything. She looks in the clown's direction and then back to Tony, "Umm, not sure? I'm just going to go like... grab him, 'kay?" And Danielle starts hovering a few inches off the ground before she turns, and blasts off in the direction of The Joker. It's silent, it's not very slow, breaking the sound barrier pretty easily, though there's no sonic boom, air disturbance or the like that follows. She's head straight towards The Joker, her goal to grab him and bring him away from his van.
Tony Stark shakes his head, "No, Dani, wai--" he facepalms, "That's..not the best way to deal with him." he sighs, "This will probably hurt. Lots."
It takes Vorpal only a few seconds to spot Danielle and his nose to wrinkle in disgust, their last and only meeting having left a very sour taste in his mouth. He crouches low when he sees her dive for the Joker.
Rule number one when fighting the Joker: NEVER go for physical contact unless you've got something to hit him with that gives you some distance. The encounter with his Joybuzzer had nearly killed him.
The cat mutters something about Danielle under his breath, and focuses hard until he finally becomes invisible.
~If she's going to go for the direct route, who am I to prevent her?~
He kicks off from the building and floats in the air, heading to a point above the Joker.
Floyd doesn't get up out of his seat, finishing his cigarette, tossing it on the ground and idly drawing one of his pistols. Nothing too serious has happened yet, but he's feeling a little bored and he considers amusing himself. He aims at Joker, idly considerinig body parts and then, listening to his shouting, he aims carefully a shot, not kill (it would be fun to kill the Joker, it's true, but he's had enough Bat-trouble, thanks all the same, and he's off old pointy ears' radar at the moment and would like to stay that way)...but creasing his skull, well...
"JFK!" he shouts in answer to Joker's question, squeezing off a pop that should put a nice bloodspatter across that pasty face.
You know... Iron Raccoon has a nice ring to it. He's already got the rocket skat... err boots. Rocket's plan is to basically dive bomb into this Joker Clown and knock him off the truck. Or at least grab hold of him and press one of the blasters into his mouth. Of course, he's not the only one with an idea for the direct approach. So one can only hope he doesn't end up crashing into Danielle. Or you know... an invisible cat. A flying raccoon, you know New Yorkers have seen everythingnow. "Hey Homey! Rocket Don't Play Dat!" Yes, he's seen In Living Color. Blame the fact you hairless apes send this crap out into space for any poor alien culture to recieve.
Rain is a bit baffled. She's got a good seat from her broomstick perch. And she can't believe the words she hears. Although, Riddler? What does he do...? Er, well, is that even a question? Why do people always name themselves after their shtick? Either way, Rain's heard rumors about what the Joker likes to do and none of it is entirely pleasant. If anyone looks up, there is in fact, a gal riding a broomstick with a box tied at the back of it.
She pauses as someone answers the Joker's question. "JF-- Oooh, I get it." Especially once the gunshot goes off. Rain herself shifts her jacket. She has two guns, although she decides against using them for now. And then Rocket's words. "Umm... What?" Rain looks down at Rocket, confused. Her purple eyes nearly cross, but she goes with it. For now, she holds her action (D&D style!).
The Spider starts to swing towards the Joker as well. However, as Joker stands there, out in the open, so calmly and confidently, he changes his mind and shoots a web out to the side, veering him off course to a nearby building.
One thing that people seem to constantly forget is that the Joker isn't stupid. He's actually nearly a supra-genius, within that delightfully mad head of his. Tony and Vorpal are the only ones who really understand; he's not going to be doing something that dumb without a good reason.
The first to hit is Floyd. It passes right through; not a speck of blood. Danielle rushes through a moment later, and the form of the Joker warbles. Rocket is similarly just attempting to grapple a hologram. That humming metal disc he's been standing on this whole time? A holo-projector.
"JFK is wrong!" Joker states, pointing in Deadshot's direction. "And since people are so impatient, FINE. First, let me show our main event!!"
Suddenly the sides and back of the icecream truck crack in a concentrated explosion, falling away. It's revealed that Joker is standing atop a cage; one that houses a certain hero of the feline persuasion. Tigra's wearing a slightly different outfit. Her bikini bottoms are dark blue, and a simple tubetop struggles to keep her modest. A discerning eye would note this is the same fabric he stole from Cornell a few days earlier. The one that stretches.
Around her neck is a metal, beeping device, and she's both gagged and chained to multiple points in the cage. Yanking one side off would take her arm with it.
"So... I was, I was watching this movie... ATTACK OF THE FIFTY FOOT WOMAN! And... and what could possibly make it better...?!"
Oh. F----
Vorpal looks down at the chained teammate. He could teleport in, but he has nothing in his arsenal of powers that can lop off those chains- he has never been able to make -sharp- constructs, and he can't telport people with him.
F-- F--- F--!
A quick teleport, and he appears beside Tony after having spotted him, becoming visible again.
"Tony, this is bad. Very bad. Do you have -anything- I can use to cut through that crap? Pronto?"
Flying through the Hologram, and then stopping above the disk, Danielle lays horizontally, quickly, so that Rocket Raccoon can fly overhead, "Hey! Watch it... raccoon man? Super R? Uhhh." She turns back and shrugs in Tony's direction she shrugs, "He's a hologram!" As if that's not obvious from her waving her hand through him, it passing back and forth in The Joker's image. Then, boom, and the Ice Cream truck falls a part, and there's Tigra there. "Whoa, talk about pussy." She states and then grins big, laughing some, putting out her hand and shaking it at Tigra, apologetically, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't be laughing, but I mean, come on, that was good, right?" She's still grinning, still laughing, but floating above the cage trying to contain it, "Hold on, hold on, a moment, I'm almost done." She's not really paying attention to the Joker's image any more, she's stuck in a laughing loop.
Floyd shrugs when the bullet passes through Joker. Hologram. Boring. When Joker exposes Tigra and his...incoherent plan, Floyd rolls his eyes and leans against a lightpole, waiting for the pedantiic psycho to get to the point. Joker's crazy was nonsensical crap, no matter how smart he was, and Floyd didn't possess a lot of patience for it.
"Watch where you're flying lady!" It was close but at least there wasn't a super clusterfudge via heroic collision. Though Rocket does end up firing down at the holographic panel in an attempt to rid them all of the annoying Joker hologram, if possible. Though Rocket does swear under his breath about it, since he used a similar tactic against the space bounty hunter who was after Magneto. Of course, that's when the Joker's true plan is revealed. Rocket growls a lil under his breath as he lands and takes aim at the real Joker but turns the other and his focus at Danielle. "Not the time! Flark, you talk too gorram much. And that's coming from me!"
Tigra! Rain's eyes widen a bit. She realizes that she hasn't talked to the tiger lady much, but ... Still! Poor Tigra. At least Rain isn't in the giant tackle/cuddlepile. She does notice Floyd, and hearing some of Rocket's speech makes her confused. She doesn't hear some of it. She might even be somewhere near enough the Spider to be used as a mobile web platform. Which the witch might feel hilarious. She looks to poor Tigra, trying to figure out how those chains work and - something is beeping. "Wait. She's not 50 f-- uh oh."
Rain will linger at a distance, trying to figure out just how she wants to work this out. "So, what would make it better?" She'll see where this is going.
The Spider tilts his head slightly as he looks down at The Joker's hologram and the cage under him. "Wait, there's actually a movie called 'Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman'? Seriously?" He leaps down, however, reaching for the cage to try to pull it open. He's still not sure the limits of his own strength, whether he'll be able to even budge them, but if he can lift cars, why not bend bars?
"I... holy crap! Are you a talking raccoon that flies?! That... that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!!" Joker states, jaw adrop, towards Rocket. Pure, childlike admiration. "Ahahahaha... it's even better than Squirrel Girl!!" And then Rocket shoots the holo-projector, and it is heavily damage in a whirl of sparks and crackling. "H-*bzzt*-ally expens-*zzzfft*-ahahaa bandit mas---*zwooonk*--fine, I'll do it." And then in a final pop, the projector's just hissing out black smoke.
But investigating the interior just shows a random thug, holding a smoking revolver. He's goign to shoot at the first hero that he can see. .50 shells worthy of the King of Revolvers, and not a half-bad shooter. Yet the Joker himself is nowhere to be seen in it. There's not a real one; he could be a mile away, for all anyone present knew.
The Spider lands without incident beside the cage, and with a strenuous effort begins to pry the bars apart, inch by inch. The audio still continues, even if there's no Joker present, routing through those speakers instead. "So. I managed to get hold of the 'Blockbuster' serum. Made the user big, strong, dumb, and mindlessly aggressive. It was pitiful to look at! Charlatans. I removed the defect that caused stupidity. ...And VASTLY amplified the size and mass it grants. Aggression... well. You can see for yourself."
There's a loud BEEEEEEP from Tigra's collar, before two needles jab into her neck. Inject a swirling purple liquid. And then in a hiss they fall off, clattering to the bottom of the cage...
Tigra has been struggling against her restraints, even before the sides of the truck fell away to reveal her plight. Not that she was having much success with it. She's pretty strong, but so are the straints, and she's got no leverage. "She does stop her struggles long enough to just glare at Danielle. "Really?" she says to the pun. "Really?!" When the Spider starts working on her restraints, she grins at him. "Give it everything you got, 'cause I really don't want--" and then Joker's speaking again, or the hologram at least, until it's taken off the air. "C'mon, c'mon," she urges the Spider as the metal squeals in protest. And then, the beeep.
She cries out in dismay and pain at the jabbing of the needles, a cry that gets throatier and deeper. She begins to swell, muscles bulging unevenly, pushing out at the restraints that Miles has been working on. At first little effect is scene, but soon they'r ebeing shoved aside like so much paper mache, and she continues to grow larger, the growth starting to even out as limbs catch up to each other. It's a good thing she's been clad in that stretch material, because she is -definitely- stretching it out. She falls onto one knee and a hand with a heavy thump, twenty feet tall now, now thirty, forty, and growing still. Her breath is a like a roaring breeze to those near her, and when her tail lashes in agitation it knocks over a parked buss, smashing all the windows in it.
"... #$@# my life." Vorpal mutters. "So hard..."
The Cheshire cat starts backing away very, very slowly. There was nothing he could do to contain this catastrophe- she was thirty-five feet taller than any wall or construct he could conjure up. As to his other powers?
Definitely outclassed. Especially since he took into account the 'super aggression' part. She was going to get mad, and she was going to get mad soon and it would be no good for anyone involved.
"... what the hell do I do?" he mutters to himself, trying to grasp for some idea.
"Oh my god, I can't stop." Danielle is still chuckling while Tigra is staring so evilly at her, and she looks over to The Spider. "I can probably... get those, in just... just..." She's holding onto her stomach, and doubling over while floating in the air, eyes watery in what isn't that funny of a joke. Then, the crying out, and the Tigra that suddenly starts growing gets a bigger grin. "That's one... giant..." She stops and looks around, "Huh? Huh? Anyone guess?" She shakes her head a bit, looking up at the giant cat-woman now, but still probably floating far too close to Tigra, zipping up closer to the woman's face. "Hey. You were saying something about something down there? Is this you, or the clown?" Looking confused at Tigra, not sure if the catlady always had the power to grow really big or not. Looking over her shoulder she shouts at Tony, "Tony! Or, flying raccoon guy, FRG, looks like she's outta her cage. Weird, a cat lady in a cage... I wonder if that was on purpose..." When it comes to being focused, Danielle is certainly not the greatest heroine out there. She's not really that great of a heroine at all, really.
Okay, this is...yeah, officially not worth dealing with. Floyd puts his gun back in its holster and turns to walk off, idly jumping up and walking along the roofs and hoods of some of the cars, hands in his pockets. He gives a nod and a wink to Rain as he meanders by, "Hell of a thing, isn't it?" he says, "I just wanna get a good view from a distance...I dunno why he got that stretchy outfit for 'er. Seems like a waste t'me."
An annoyed Rocket scowls harder at Danielle and fires a warning shot at her. A very close warning shot. "For Flark Sake.... Zip It!" The humanoids on this planet are as annoying if not more so than the Loonies from Halfworld. Or he just has the unfortunate luck of running into the worst examples. Rocket turns his focus away from Dani now, when Tigra starts hitting a rather impressive Growth Spurt. "Flark." He kicks off into flight mode again with his rocket boots to get out of Tigra's range and studies the situation. Rocket holsters his blasters and starts digging in one of his belt pouches for an explosive instead. "Where's Groot when you need him!"
Blinks. Tigra..just..grew..like fifty feet. Well, more like forty four. He looks to Vorpal, looks back to Tigra. He rubs his chin. Then grins. "Wait.." he says, to no one in particular. "I got this."
While others run away, Tony walks forward. Doesn't run. Walks. Is there a little swagger to that walk? Nooooo..no one would swagger up to a fifty foot tall Tigra, would they?
Would they?
"Tigs.." he says, voice only a little louder than normal to be heard, coming to a stop at her feet, "How's it goin'? I see you're doing the whole Apache Chief thing these days, which works pretty well for you. Lookin' as good as ever..say.."
He looks around, then back up.
"You wanna go grab a drink somewhere? Like the harbor or something? Dip your toes in, see how it works for ya?"
Yes.
Tony is hitting on a fifty foot Tigra like it was Saturday night at Club 54.
Sadly, Rain doesn't have super strength and magic takes time to deploy. Also, she would probably be in awe of Tony. And she's one of the few non-pervs here! Sure, Tigra's pretty and stuff but Rain is used to nudity. Kind of a hazard of being a witch. And also, there's a talking raccoon. Boggle. She doesn't want to hurt Tigra, but Tigra is SMASH. And then she hears a voice as Floyd talks. She blinks at his nod and wink. She frowns faintly.
"Well. Hopefully she won't break it, although if I remember, she's not the person who worries most about nudity." She bites her lower lip. Rain is worried. "Um. I guess you can hop on if you wanted to see what's going on," Broomstick ride, yay! "I'm trying to think of how to deal with this. Somehow, setting the Joker on fire might be more satisfying but - it doesn't feel like something I can just heal." She doesn't seem ruffled that Floyd is being pervy - people often do. And Tigra is pretty. Damn her lack of social skills! Damn her lack of sexy witchness! Why is her family a bunch of a Tarot experts and Rain - Rain is uh ... well. "I guess we'd have to knock her out until someone can help her." Sadface. Either way, if Floyd wants to hop on, she'll take him along.
The Spider pays no attention whatsoever to the Joker's voice, or anything else going on, instead struggling with all his might to free Tigra. So, he gets only his danger sense as warning when she starts to grow to the point of popping open the cage, and he jumps back with a split second to spare before the cage pops open. "Oh, man. Not good," he says, looking up at the growing figure. "Well, at least you're free," he then comments.
Tigra's breached the fifty foot mark now, breached it by several feet, actually. She's not as graceful as she was before, clearly feeling awkward at this size, and with a more muscular build, relatively speaking. Her chest heaves with rapid breathing and those close to her will feel quite a bit of body heat. She lifts her head slowly, glaring at Danielle, and when she speaks, her voice is a rumble.
"SHUT. UP!"
A massive hand strikes out at Danielle with deceptive speed, as Tigra tries to bat her away, and near the closest building. She then stands up, rising to that full, fifty foot plus height, and then looks down at Tony. She's big, strong, angry, aggressive, and, well, on some level still Tigra, and so at Tony's proposal she responds, "SNU-SNU!" And them promptly tries to step on him, though with a stumble as her reflexes are not up to dealing with her new form.
Vorpal completely does not blame Tigra for that. In the least. If he were fifty feet tall, he would have smacked Danielle as well.
And then Snu-Snu. Really? "Tony!"
The Cheshire teleports to Tony's side and extends his arms upwards, summoning a barrier construct as tough as he can make it to protect them from Galaxy Glue Tigra- he can't teleport people with him, so this is the closest thing he can do.
"Okay, Plan B?" he asks of his boss.
Warning shots? The raccoon thing, shot at her? Why would a city even GIVE guns to a raccoon? Danielle looks down at Rocket and then is batted out of the way. She goes careening off, at high speed. When her body makes contact with the building it crashes into it, creating a slightly bigger than human sized hole, and then she continues to break through things as the force of her movement, and her invulnerability work together to prevent her from wrapping around anything and instead being a human wrecking ball. When Danielle finally recovers, she's squinting a bit, closing her eyes, shaking her head, checking her person. Jeans are much more tore up, shirt is filled with holes, some of her bra is peeking through in places she didn't purposefully let it. She sits up, and checks her heels, "Whew." They're still okay. One of the last pairs of these she could find. Then, standing up, brushing herself off. "Bitch slap me?!" And Danielle sends her self flying straight at Tigra, moving incredibly fast to try and shoulder check the monstrous catlady, unconcerned if she makes a giant topple over onto buildings or otherwise cause collateral damage.
Tony Stark looks at Vorpal, having been blocked. He grins at the Cheshire and winks, "Plan B? I climb!"
He jumps up and grabs a double handful of fur. He starts to pull himself up, and is thankful for having had Steve made him do all that upper body work after they first met.
Floyd arches an eyebrow at Rain and considers, "High ground's always best. Real quick, though, if I do somethn', It's gonna involve shooting it to death. So if that makes you squeamish or ya'd shove me off your broom in some sort of moral conniption, I'll pass. But, if you can be cool, then ride 'em, witchgirl, I say. Don't go makin' me a soprano with no crazy flyin', though."
Rocket thankfully doesn't turn back to Tigra before Danielle gets swatted by the Feline Femme Fatale. He would have hated to have missed that. And would have asked Cosmo to find him footage from security cameras or from psychic borrowing. Cause that was just sooooo justified. "See what your mouth gets you!?" He asks of Danielle and then pulls free mid-yield explosive from one of his pouches. Rocket charges forward in flight towards Tigra, thankfully a fairly small target compared to some. Trying not to earn a smack away like Danielle. He's assumed that the collar is the problem here... so plans to use the explosive he's carrying to hopefully disengage it. Tigra's size and likely durability should keep her from being more than a bit scorched. Fingers crossed!
Rain nods. "I'd rather you didn't kill the tiger lady, though. ANd you can always ride sideways," She quirks a smile. But Floyd has just uncovered why warlocks either rode saucers or side saddle. Also, there aren't many male witches for a reason. As for moral conniption, she just smiles wryly. "You'd... be far from the most amoral person I deal with," Is all she offers. "At least you didn't show up nude and drunk on magic booze in my basement." So Floyd is in fact, ahead of many guys she meets. Rain has some odd problems.
"Hop on, and I'll do my best. She seems a bit clumsy at the moment. Maybe it's the collar hurting her?" She considers. Her eyes widen as Danielle gets swatted and she winces. Either way, once Floyd hops on, it's liftoff time! Careful, non-Floyd-soprano-making-liftoff.
The Spider leaps into the air, as soon as Tigra strikes out. He shoots out a web, and swings around closer to the giant woman. And then, as fast as his webshooters can manage, he starts shooting out more webs as he swings around her. Webs towards her arms, and then towards her body. And her legs towards each other, and to the buildings around. Each web alone won't hold anywhere near her strength, but he knows that. Instead, he's trying to spin a complex series of webs to try to just slow her down while the other heroes try to stop her. Of course, he avoids the climbing Tony, and any other heroes getting near.
The tigress's foot smashes through VOrpal's construct effortlessly, denting the pavement beneath. Fortunately for him and Tony, she was off target, and thought he impact may have rattled them, it didn't directly catch them.
She takes Danielle's impact on a stout shoulder, and it shoves her off balance and hard against a nearby building. An arm flails out, not at Dani this time, but to keep her balance, and claws longer than some people rake through a facade as she arrests her fall.
Her fur's rather longer now, and provides convenient hand holds for the perve--er, for Tony Stark.
She's just started to push herself back upright, further damagaging a building, a building whose occupants flee into the street lest it collapse upon them. Before she fully rights herself, Rocket attacks the collar, blasting it to bits, and causing her to roar in surprise, though not pain. Bad news, though. She doesn't seem any calmer.
The Spider's webbing might be able to hold her if he got enough of it deployed fast enough, but she's pushing away from the building, and the strands snap almost as fast as they're spun.
"Get over here," she snarls towards Danielle, taking a long stride towards her.
Vorpal curses Danielle and her provocation once he rights himself up and takes to the air, to avoid further Tigra-stomps. He flies upwards, trying to get to the back of her neck.
Tigra seemed to be on the rampage right now, and he was hoping that she was as much of a feline as -he- was.
"Spidey!" the cat calls out, "I need you to web the back of her neck. You hear me? Spray it real good and then let me hold on to that..."
The Off Switch, as he likes to call it- grabbing a cat by the scruff often makes them incredibly passive, some of them becoming immobile. He doesn't know if it'll have the same effect on Tigra, but it was worth trying. However, he's going to need a -lot- of strength to raise that fifty-foot tiger scruff.
Where was Kon when he needed him?
"Oh shit shit shit!" Danielle mentions as she starts pulling back, capable of far faster flight than most can run, but this is one giant woman cat lady. What to do? Stay, fight, or flee and leave... Looking down she sees Tony climbing up Tigra. "What the hell are you doing?!" She screams downward toward him before realizing she's got to stay now that Tony's in the mix. Moving quickly she zips down to the ground, finds the bus that Tigra knocked sideways, and then zips back up to face off with the woman. It's all rather quick, since Danielle can move her full hypersonic speeds without concern of causing turbulence. "Okay! If you don't stop right now, I'm going to hit you with this." She's holding the giant bus awkwardly, and shaking a bit, which rattles the bus that she's holding. It's easy to hold, her hands are crunching in on the thing, but she was never very good at baseball, doesn't know how to fight, and is otherwise not so good at staying calm. All in all, she's a nervous wreck trying to threaten a giant cat with a bus.
Floyd keeps himself close to Rain, making sure to have a decent grip but not really showing much in the way of fear. Floyd Lawton stopped worrying about death a long time ago. He and ol' Skullface have been dancin' the dance long enough that Floyd doesn't much care when the music stops. Of course, once in the air, at fiirst, there still doesn't seem much to do.
And then he sees Joker's henchman, the one remaining, the King of Pistols or whatever. Either way, he's about to be the King of Blood Spatter, as Deadshot casually pops a bullet into his cranium.
Rain expects grip from passengers, else she might lose 'em. She is a thoughtful pilot, at least and carried enough people and goods to know better than to do a barrel roll. She seems surprised at how brave he is. But then, some people take to it naturally. She does seem willing to accept direction, should Floyd spot a target that needs zooming in on. It's a lot like riding a motorcycle, but in the air. And she doesn't startle as he pops a shot into the King of Pistols. Rain herself has two pistols holstered at her hips. It seemed more practical than a 12 inch wand (Make your joke about a gal living alone with cats having a 12 inch wand ... NOW!) and she'd never hear the end of it.
Thinking. What calms cats down... what calms cats down. What does Tigra like. Oh right. Catnip! Lots of it! It takes her a couple of minutes, but up in the sky overhead, a portal opens and tons of leaves spill out. Catnip. Uh oh. Primo, organic 'nip.
"Uh-oh," The Spider says, as his webshooters come up empty. Of course, he's mid-air at the time and momentum carries him down the street and back to the ground, his fall thankfully broken by an empty van. "Ow," he says, climbing off of the crumpled vehicle. Pausing to change his web-cartridges, he looks up to the sudden rain of catnip.
Tony isn't keeping too much track of what's going on. He's still climbing. Only now he's gotten to the stretchy fabric. This helps, because he can't be felt climbing. This hurts, because getting a purchase is a little harder, but he endeavors on because this is not the strangest thing anyone has ever caught him doing.
Fortunately for Danielle, Tigra's not moving as fast as she can. Not really all -that- fast, all things considered. "Drop dead!" she roars at Danielle, lunging forward, one hand balled up in a fist to smash at the busball bat, and the other with fingers, and claws, extended to try to catch the flying bug.
Floyd's shot is dead on target, and the henchman is now an ex-hench. Rather messy one, at that. Bet he wishes he'd been a hologram.
The sudden rain of catnip leaves momentarily distracts Tigra during her charge, but doesn't have an immediate effect on her, other than causing her to, literally, put a foot wrong, landing hard on the heel of a foot, hitting the pavement just right to collapse it, plunging her foot down to the utilities running beneath it. Water gushes as she breaks a main and causes her to stumble.
The van that Miles falls on? Daily Bugle delivery van, of course.
The big giant fist comes in her direction, as she holds the bus and Danielle does the dumb-I-don't-fight thing. She drops the bus, putting her hands over her face and doesn't move. Which of course means, the bus gets smashed by Tigra, sending it flying to erupt in dust and exploding building somewhere else before she gets raked and pulled into a furry fist. Danielle loses much of her pants and a much larger gash out of her top from the claws as she's brought into the giant woman's grip, getting down to almost as little clothes as Tigra, but without all the fur to cover her up. "Urrgghk!" She lets out, trying to push and force her way out of the hand now.
"Why, you bastard!" Vorpal hisses at Floyd as the man clearly murders someone. Henchmen or not... he played by Batman's rules unless there was no other way. The Cheshire cat flies towards Floyd, ready to bring some justice around until...
Until..
His eyes glaze over for a minute as the leaves fall around him. He doesn't even notice the gushing water. He's in a place where he can't really notice any of those things, by the look of his grin, which is almost impossibly large even for a Cheshire.
"Oh... my...." he says, almost melting on the spot.
And that's when the truly weird (censored) starts to happen. The sky turns rather cartoonish, the clouds looking like a white squiggle with a conte crayon than actual weather phenomena, and everything becomes so. much. brighter. In the immediate area, there seems to be nothing -but- bright colors and pastels.
And there's a rainbow stretching from one side of the street to another, for some reason. And also? The unoccupied cars, parking meters and mailboxes have started to sing rather cheerfully about golden afternoons. And the cheshire just... floats there.
The Spider looks around a moment as everything goes crazy. "What the...?" He starts to look around, as if searching for someone, or some people, in specific. Nope, no Cuckoos around, can't be one of their pranks. He shoots a web up to a nearby building and slingshots himself into the air, swinging closer to Tigra again.
"I'm going to need a bigger gun... something of the stun variety." Rocket comments to himself since none of his other tactics are working. And the weird catnip rain hasn't helped matters. So Rocket contacts Cosmo via his communit. "Passport to Nowhere... now. I need to hit my stash." There's a flash of light and the Raccoon is gone from the scene.
Thankfully, Floyd does NOT get Cheshire-own'd. Rain manages to keep them up and safe, watching for Tigra's reaction. "Do you think a sleep spell might work better?"
Floyd Lawton shrugs, "Hell, I dunno. Sleep spell, Ball o' Yarn Spell, Big Ol' Giant Pet Carrier Spell...shit, turn that big building over there into a scratching post. She's your friend, you don't want her hurt, that's fine. Only other thiing I can think is you drop me in her big ass ear and I blow her eardrum out...Throw off her equilibrium, probably hurt like hell, though..."
"Got you now, you little bug," Tigra says in savage satisfaction as she gets a hold on Danielle. To say she's got a firm grip on the mouthy woman would be an understatement. Unfortunately, Tigra's grip on reality isn't so firm, thanks to Vorpal's losing his own grip.
Tigra looks around, visibly confused and disoriented as things go very strange with Vorpal's catnip trip. Perhaps the catnip is having an effect on her as well, combining with Keith's singing infrastructure. Whether it's a combination of factors or not, Tira begins to get a bit glassy eyed, looking around her, and her grip on Danielle gets consierably looser.
Danielle gets squeezed at first, her face looking like it might just pop until she is able to break out of the hand that's got her and then looks around, blood on her clothes that remain from being clawed, and she asks, "Should I bring her to space?" She doesn't have a game plan, she doesn't know what to do. There's catnip raining from the sky, and so she just stays hovering there now that she's broken free, thanks to Tigra getting high. Danielle starts looking around quickly, wide eyed, paranoid, or anxious. She's not sure what, "What the hell is going on!?"
And somewhere in Gotham watching a number of televisions, some recording live and a couple from hidden minions, the Joker is choking to death on his popcorn, doubled over and hacking it out between his laughs. Tears are running down his eyes, hiccuping in pure bliss as catnip rains down on the felines. "Oh--Oh my... This... This is better than I had EVER thought possible!!" No matter what happens from this point on, it can never be said he lost. His prank is already worth it.
Tony is still climbing for dear life, unsure of how far he'll get or if he'll fall off but he knows he has to try. Especially with all the tripped out hippie Woodstock stuff happening around him now. This..just might wind up being the strangest thing anyone's ever caught him doing.
It's raining 'nip! Rain is relieved as the woman Tigra is gripping is let go of (Even if bad cat jokes were made). She hms softly at Floyd. "Those might work. Hey, what should I call you, sir?" Rain's an adult (and legal to drink!), but she still seems well mannered. "Nah, I don't think we want to rile her up. Then things just get destroyed. There's a shot we'd get swatted out of the air, too," Rain happens to like being alive. "I think - I think she's going to sleep." Also, his fiance is going to end Rain for getting Vorpal so very, very high.
The Spider lets out a sigh of relief as Tigra starts to calm down. He changes course with another web, landing on a building somewhere relatively above Tigra. Within leaping distance, if the need arises, but now he just waits and watches to make sure things seem to be over.
Floyd can't help but laugh slightly, amused. Nobody's called him 'sir' ina damn long time. "Floyd'll do me fine. I wonder if she'll fall asleep on top o' Tony the Tiger Climber there. Yo, rich boy, you need a lift or you just wanna get your ass dead again?" he shouts.
Tigra certainly isn't looking riled up at the moment. She's certainly looking out of it. Not completely gone, but definitely zoning a bit, confused by what she's seeing. She frowns, starting to wake up some, her tail thumping heavily against the ground as it begins an agitated twitching, and a soft growl can be heard building. Okay, not -very- soft.
The illusions start taking a turn for the more intense, if that could be possible. Everything is vivid, there are far more rainbows, and now there are fairies dancing around Tigra's head, singing soothing songs that are made up of nonsense syllables such as 'hey' and 'nonny nonny.' Vorpal is so out of it, hanging in midair, that it's a miracle he doesn't simply float up into the stratosphere.
Rain pauses, smiling at Floyd's laugh. "Sure thing. Call me Rain. Pleased to meet you, Floyd. I guess we should make sure - is that the Stark - yup." That's Tony. Rain looks a bit surprised. She pauses. "I'm not gonna tell Pepper, I guess." And she'll bring them in close to Tony so he can hear Floyd's words. "We have room for one more. I don't know how long this will last," Rain admits. "I may try a sleep spell soon but I don't know what made her this big," Sadface.
With the cat lady getting more crazy, Danielle tries to make sense of everything. There's crazy lights and other stuff that Vorpal's making happen, there's wreckage on the street below. And Danielle is getting rather unfocused. She gets so weirded out she's got to get out of there. Turning she bolts, zipping off, leaving the rest to deal with the giant cat.
Right. Sleep spell. While waiting for Tony to affirm or deny wanting a ride down, Rain will go quiet. Time to cast Sleep. Power Word: Sleep! Just kidding. It's a soothing, will worked journey. Warm kitty. Happy kitty. Soft, chirpy birds outside a sunny window kitty. Sleeeeeeep.
Things definitely seem to be calming down. Except for Miles' parents, they are, rightfully, freaking out at his total disappearing act in a disaster like this. After a few more moments making sure everything is alright, he shoots out another web and swings off. Time to get back to where the crowds ran to, and figure out an excuse for his absence.
That level of cerebral activity could only be kept up for so long before it exhausted the illusion-weaver. Under the heavy dose of catnip, Vorpal slowly floats down to the ground and lands on the hood of a mostly intact taxi. He yawns and slowly lays down on it, falling asleep very quickly. The illusions slowly begin to blink out one by one, as he begins to snore peacefully on the hood.
The rage and aggression in Tigra should have been enough to make the sleep spell ineffective, but she's been weakened to it. Her defenses are down, she feels halfway in a dream state already, thanks to Vorpal's images, and let's face it, cats -like- to sleep. And so it is that she sways this way, and then that way, and then falls forward, smashing into another building heavily, with snores that drown out the sound of falling masonry.
Category:Log