Testing

Note: This ficlet has been made redundant by "A Distinct Lack of Caffeine"
== Revised text ==
Date/Timing: 7 January 2019, immediately after "Ducky"
Setting: Jaeger simulator, The Shed; Vaucluse, NSW, Australia
.
The door's bang echoes through the control room.
Chuck grinds his teeth, fists clenched at his side.
Pietr pokes the side of his head.
- Wht was that abt? -
"Uh, Chuckold was gonna be my—"
Footsteps and Chuck spins.
Lightcap, buried in her tablet. "Chuck, I need those new quantum cables we brought, do you remember where I put—"
"No clue where those are, sorry."
"Don't be silly, you're the one who packed what on Earth happened to your voice?" She looks up.
Chuck waves.
"Oh."
"She left."
"But I need her for this!"
Chuck points at the door.
"Chuck! Get back here!" She returns moments later, dragging her by the sleeve.
Chuckold pouts over to a desk, spins her back to them.
Lightcap adjusts her glasses, smiles at Pietr. "Officer Vos?"
Pietr nods, bows.
Lightcap bows back. "You'll understand me if I talk facing you?"
He nods again.
"Cool! I'm Caitlin Lightcap and it looks like you've already met my assistant, Chuck."
Chuckold waves over her shoulder.
Pietr waves back.
Chuck rolls his eyes, elbows him.
Pietr sticks out his tongue.
"Okay, okay, guys. Be serious a minute."
Pietr blinks innocently and smiles at Lightcap.
She melts.
Chuck huffs.
"We'll be running a battery of tests on you, Officer—"
Pietr shakes his head, shows Lightcap his mobile.
"—Okay, 'Pietr' it is!"
He beams.
"So. Right! We've got a bunch of tests for you so we can get you your new ID number. Nothing /too hard, but it'll take most of the [morning] to finish them."
Pietr deflates.
"They're not too bad. I mean, Chuck survived them."
"Oi!"
Chuckold winces.
"Take a seat in the big chair, Pietr, and Chuck'll get you hooked up."
"I've got no—"
"She means me, Ducky," grumps Chuckold, heaving herself to her feet.
Chuck pulls over a desk chair, opens his book of crosswords.
Pietr settles himself in, taps Chuck's arm.
- Coffee? -
"Yea, I'll get us both some."
"Get you some what?" asks Chuckold, squashing Pietr's hair with a squid cap.
"Coffee."
"No!" yelps Lightcap. "Caffeine messes up the scans!"
Pietr frowns.
- Headache might 2 -
"Not badly enough to matter," declares Chuckold.
Pietr huffs.
- Wake me -
"No sleeping, either."
Pietr sighs.
== Original text ==
Caitlin Lightcap and her assistant hear a scuffle outside their temporary lab in the Sydney Shatterdome's Jaeger simulator control room. They turn in time to see a tall blonde man shove a grumbling Chuck Hansen back into the hall.
The man straightens and waves sheepishly after closing the door.
A muffled shout follows him.
The assistant snorts. "He hasn't changed," she mumbles.
"Officer Vos?"
Pietr nods and offers his hand.
Caitlin takes it. "I'm Doctor Caitlin Lightcap and this is Chuck Darling, my assistant."
Pietr goggles and smothers what might be a laugh.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. There's another 'Chuck' in your life now. And if you make a crack about the last name, we'll have problems."
Pietr holds up his hands in surrender, still grinning.
"We'll be running a battery of tests on you, Officer, so we can get you your new ID number. Nothing too hard, but it will take most of the morning to get through them all."
Pietr nods again.
Caitlin turns away. "Take a seat in the big chair and Chuck'll get you hooked up."
Pietr looks to Chuck. ::Did she say something to me?::
Chuck blinks. "Uh ... Doctor Lightcap?"
"Yeah?"
"I think we might've missed something in Officer Vos' file."
Caitlin turns around.
::You missed I'm deaf.::
"I think he's deaf, Doctor."
Pietr rolls his eyes and nods.
"Oh." Caitlin narrows her gaze at Pietr. "Chuck, can you sign?"
"Not a word."
Pietr sighs and pulls a small notepad and pen from his pocket.
"Aha. Regular Boy Scout, ay?"
Pietr shrugs.
"Well, park yourself in the chair and we'll set up for the first test."
Pietr settles into place. -Coffee?-
"No! Caffeine will mess up the scans."
-Headache might too-
"Not badly enough to matter."
Pietr huffs. -Wake me-
"Sorry, Officer. No sleeping, either."
Pietr sighs.
Pietr finishes the questionnaire with a twirl of his pencil and hands the paper to Chuck with a flourish. -Coffee now?-
"Yeah, grab me some while you're out."
Pietr salutes and nearly sprints from the room.
"And I thought Choi was bad ..."
After a thump, Chuck opens the door to reveal a grinning Pietr brandishing a mess hall tray supporting a full pot of coffee, a selection of mugs, a container of cream, a box of sugar cubes, and some spoons.
"You are a Boy Scout."
Pietr shakes his head and pushes past to set the tray on an empty desk. He immediately fills a mug to the brim, gulps a
mouthful, and folds himself into the chair with a happy sigh.
Chuck squeaks around him and readies a cup for herself and another for Caitlin. "You brought too many mugs." She pulls up her own chair.
Pietr shakes his head and smirks.
"What's that look—"
The door slams open.
"You 'bout done with him?"
"Chuck."
"Chuck? What're you doin' here?"
"I work for Doctor Lightcap now."
"Huh. Didn't see that coming."
"What's that supposed to mean, Ducky?"
"I told you not to call me that."
Pietr looks from one to the other and raps his knuckles on the desk. -Know each other?-
"I suppose you could say that."
Chuck gets the funniest look on his face.
"Kinda get to know a person when he's everywhere you go, like, oh, I don't know, the mess, the gym, the hangar, your bunk ..."
Chuck turns progressively pinker.
"Almost as if he were following you, ay, Ducky?"
Chuck finds the floor extremely interesting.
"He didn't follow you to the bathroom, did he?"
Pietr laughs so hard he topples over.
Chuck bites her lip and glares really hard.
-Im sorrry-
"You won't find it so funny when he shows up in your shower."
-No he didn't- Pietr laughs into his elbow. -Storms to gym, fight to draw, 'You. Me. Kwoon. Now.'-
"The little fucker," breathes Chuck. "He stole my line." She leaps to her feet. "Chuck! Lil'drongo, you fucking stole my line!"
"Stole?" snarls Chuck. "How is it your line? It's a buncha words!"
"I'd been practising—" Chuck freezes.
"You'd been practising?"
"Of course I was practising," Chuck sneers. "It's not every day you're being stalked by a potential Drift partner." She sniffs and strides by. "Now I have data to analyze. Good day." She stops at the door and glares over her shoulder. "And I swear to god, if you follow me, I will—"
"You'll what? Drop me off the roof? Bit big for that now, aren't I?"
Chuck makes a frustrated noise and slams the door.
Caitlin walks up behind Chuck, engrossed in her tablet. "Chuck, I need those new quantum cables we brought, do you remember where I put—"
"No clue where those are, sorry."
"Don't be silly, you're the one who packed what on Earth happened to your voice?" She looks up.
Chuck waves.
"Oh."
"She left."
"But I need her for this!"
Chuck points at the door.
"Chuck! Get back here!" She returns moments later, dragging Chuck by the sleeve. "Now that we've finished our little trip down memory lane, we can go over the results of your test, Officer—"
-Pietr-
"Okay, Pietr. Let's start with the simplest one. The numbers after the period are your CORO, which is the way your brain is structured to process information. They're ranged on a spectrum from one to ninety-nine. Yours is just about in the middle: forty-four. We use these to estimate how likely it is a pair are Drift Compatible. Usually pairs with COROs within twenty points of each other are at least somewhat Compatible—unless you're a Kaidanovsky and then all bets are off. You and Chuck are a little outside that—he's a sixty-six—but you're stable together so it doesn't matter. This zero marks a physical or mental condition that has to be taken into account when Drifting. Again, it doesn't matter much in your case."
Pietr nods 'of course not.'
"The letter's pretty easy, too. It's a KTSTR; measures the probability of breaking down in the Drift or chasing a RABIT, with 'Z' being the most likely. You're among the most stable, an 'A,' and one of only a handful in the entire Corps."
-Good?-
"Very good."
"And now for the interesting bit ..."
"Chuck."
"Sorry, Doctor."
"Okay, this first number is your HSP. These can range between one hundred and nine-hundred-ninety-nine. The higher the number the more flexible you are in terms of the different types of minds you can successfully Drift with. You're a nine-ninety-one."
-High-
"The highest we've ever seen."
"We didn't think we'd ever see one that high. We didn't think it was possible to score that high."
Pietr blinks. -Wow-
Caitlin and Chuck nod. "We've seen a of couple nine-eighties and a few nine-seventies, but nothing like you."
"Now for the best part ...."
"Chuck."
"Sorry, Doctor."
"All this means it's not just Chuck you're Compatible with; we could connect almost anyone to you with a neural bridge and you'd create a stable handshake. Not only that, but you'd be able to maintain it no matter what their subconscious threw at you. You're unshakable. You're ... a key that can fit any mental lock."
"No fuckin' way. He's Compatible with anyone?"
"Looks like it. If the models he just broke still apply. We'll have to test him against some other partners to make sure." Caitlin looks at her assistant.
Chuck holds up her hands. "Uh uh. No way. You're not hooking me up to a Pons. Never again."
Pietr quirks an eyebrow.
"He happened." She points to Chuck.
Chuck flinches.
"We looked Compatible, COROs should've worked together, but, nope. He tossed me out of alignment, not unlike a boulder in a pond."
"Didn't do it on purpose!"
"Did my best to hang on and fried my hand for my troubles."
"I did not do it on purpose!"
"So, yeah, no more Drifting for me."
"It's not entirely out of the cards," Caitlin says.
"Neural scarring. Bad. Do you really want to risk your Hypothetical?"
"Well, you might end up drooling, but it's a really small chance, vanishingly small, so small it almost doesn't exist—"
"Like the chance I'm going to say 'yes' to this?"
Pietr nods vehemently.
"I will convince you, mark my words."
.
After lunch, Caitlin looks up from her notes. "Where would Chuck be about now?"
-Rec-
"Chuck, go get him."
Pietr snorts.
Chuck glares.
.
Caitlin and Pietr play a game of rummy. Then another.
"What's taking so long?"
-I'll check-
.
A tangle of limbs flails in the center of the Rec Room, surrounded by a thick ring of cheering marines.
Pietr's lips thin and he pushes through the crowd.
He grabs Chuck by the collar and tosses him to the marines, miming 'hold him.'
Chuck squalls and fights the three men restraining him.
Logan Jones goes next; Pietr catching his arm and spinning him to the opposite side of the circle.
The other two are straightforward; Pietr shoves himself in between—Chuck slashes at Jackson over him—and pushes them out of striking range.
Pietr glares at Chuck. ::Explain. Now.::
Chuck sulks, grinding his teeth.
Pietr rolls his eyes. ::Somebody explain, please.::
Chuck wipes blood from her upper lip. "He started it." She jerks her thumb at Chuck.
He makes a strangled noise.
Pietr sighs.
The unbloodied Chuck glares at him defiantly.
Pietr frowns, crosses his arms over his chest, and taps his
foot.
Chuck keeps glaring.
Pietr throws up his hands. He grabs both Chucks by their upper arms and drags them from the room to a chorus of catcalls and foot-stomping by the marines.
After the short and embarrassing march back to the simulator room, Pietr throws them in and kicks the door closed.
"Chuck, what happened?"
Both Chucks begin speaking.
Caitlin holds up a hand for silence. "My Chuck, what happened?"
"That little menace—"
"Who're you callin'—"
Chuck gets a hand clapped across his mouth and squirms with fury as Pietr gives Caitlin a thumbs up.
"—picked a fight with the Jones brothers and I got dragged in to save his ass."
Chuck wrenches himself out of Pietr's grip. "I was doin' just fine before you stuck yerself in!"
"They were sitting on you!"
"I was gettin' ready for my next move!"
"Which would've been gettin' your teeth knocked in!"
"Shut up!"
"Make me!"
"Both of you! Be quiet! Little Chuck—"
"Oi!"
"Young Chuck—"
"/Oi!"
Caitlin rolls her eyes. "Just get in the sim. I've got all the data I can from Pietr solo."
"You're not getting me anywhere near his head!"
"Not you, Chuck. You."
Chuck shifts smugly.
Chuck blinks in relief and starts adjusting the simulator's settings.
.
Four twenty-minute Drifts later, Caitlin pipes over the intercom, ""Okay, boys! Time to add a Kaiju and see what you do. I've turned the force-feedback down so no matter what happens—even if you 'die'—it won't hurt. You've got no special weapons and Mark I speed, so just punch it 'til it dies. Got it?""
Chuck flashes a thumbs up.
Pietr blinks.
""Pilot to Jaeger connection complete.""
"Where the hell are we?" Chuck scans the simulated environment. "Is ... is this fuckin' London?"
""Just hit the Kaiju, Ducky.""
"Don't call me that!"
""Neural handshake terminated.""
""Nice work, gents. Still getting good data, so we're gonna wash, rinse, repeat. Different Kaiju, Mark I speed, no special weapons.""
""Pilot to Jaeger connection complete.""
"Jaeger Academy?"
""Just hit it, Ducky.""
"Stop calling me that!"
Pietr tugs Chuck's attention to their left and the rapidly approaching Kaiju.
""Neural handshake terminated.""
"Ready?"
""Pilot to Jaeger connection complete.""
"What the hell is this?"
""Don't know your geography, Ducky?""
"Shut. It."
""Neural handshake terminated.""
"Next!"
""Pilot to Jaeger connection complete.""
""Any complaints this time, Ducky?""
Chuck mumbles something unintelligible.
""Neural handshake terminated.""
"Can't you give us somethin' tougher? These all went down easy."
""I'll give you 'somethin' tougher,' you little ...""
""Ready for round five?""
Pietr makes a 'timeout' gesture.
Chuck catches the motion with the corner of his eye. ::Need a break?::
Pietr nods slowly, then freezes.
The Chucks and Caitlin unhook him and he sags onto a bench.
::What's wrong?::
::Feel sick.::
::You gonna puke?::
::Maybe.::
::Why? I'm fine.::
::Dizzy from the start of Drifting.::
::That doesn't happen if you brace for it.::
::How?::
::What do you mean? There's a countdown.::
Pietr blinks in confusion. ::What countdown?::
Chuck facepalms. ::It's an audio count:: He pivots on the bench. "Doctor Lightcap!"
"What?"
"We've gotta problem. Pietr can't hear the handshake countdown."
"Oh. Oh crap. He hasn't had any warning it's starting?"
"No, an' now he's dizzy an' thinkin' of throwin' up."
"Crap! New assignment, Chuck! Rig up a visual interface for him. You have 'til tomorrow morning. I'll try to salvage something from this data."
"Lemme get unhooked an' I'll—"
"Not you, the other Chuck."
"Let him do it. I could use some sleep."
"Nice try. Get to work. Chuck, make sure Pietr gets back to his quarters in one piece. I've got more tests to run on him tomorrow."
Chuck's stomach lurches and he watches Pietr slump against the wall behind him, eyes closed. He taps Pietr's shoulder. 
Pietr cracks an eye.
::Wanna undress?::
::Yeah.::
::You haveta be sick not to joke.::
Pietr huffs and starts tugging at his gloves.
.
Progress is slow, but the Chuck and Pietr eventually make it back to Pietr's quarters.
"How're ye feelin'?"
::Awful::
"What does it feel like? Without a countdown?"
::Drop tower ride.::
Chuck winces. "Over 'n over?"
::Yeah.::
"An' then y' fought?"
::Yeah.::
"Jesus. Kin I bring ye anything?"
::Water.::
Chuck hops up and returns with a filled tumbler.
::Thanks.::
"Welcome. Anythin' else?"
::No.::
"Umm ... kin I hang out here again?"
Pietr shrugs as he drains his water. He slowly lowers himself to the mattress, closes his eyes, and curls up on his side.
"Yer one tough bastard," Chuck mumbles. He taps his fingers on the tabletop for a moment, then reaches for Pietr's stack of family photos.
Tags: Ficlet, Go, Team Science! arc, Pietr, Pietr (ficlet), Chuck H, Chuck H (ficlet), Chuck D, Chuck D (ficlet), Caitlin, Caitlin (ficlet), Sydney Shatterdome (setting), Skeleton Key, Chuck D is a Driftern, Chuck H's Drift partners ('Partners'?)
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