The Cold Shoulder

The Cold Shoulder is the thirty-fourth episode and the sixteenth episode of Season Two in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
Winter strikes Bikini Bottom at a rather odd time of the year, and Zee French Scientist is determined to solve the mystery. However, SpongeBob wants to help, and he keeps distracting him.
==Synopsis==
The episode begins with Perch Perkins fumbling with his microphone. After he catches it, the news theme plays and the screenbug appears.
“Good morning, everyone, Perch Perkins here with the daily weather report! I can say with 100% certainty that it’ll be as sunny as can be!”
A random fish taps him on the shoulder.
“Are you sure about that?” he asks.
“Why yes, I’m certain of it,” Perch responds.
The random fish then gets covered in a blanket of snow that suddenly falls from above, and Perch turns into a bunch of wooden blocks. He then puts himself together, and picks up the mic again.
“Breaking news: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”
Cut to Squidward walking happily outside with sunglasses and a summer suit on. He is carrying a lawn chair, and is about to set it down when a mound of snow falls on top of him. Squidward pops out of the mound, and unenthusiastically goes back inside with his lawn chair.
SpongeBob opens his golden pineapple door, only to discover that it’s snowing instead of sunny like he originally thought.
“What in the world? But the weatherman said it was gonna be sunny today! And it’s the middle of the summer, too.”
SpongeBob then puts on a pair of gloves.
“Gary, it looks like we have a…”
Cut to Zee French Scientist in his lab.
“...mystery on our hands,” he says. “I hate having to talk to a cactus all day, but here we are once again.”
The cactus slightly moves.
“You're alive?! Zpeek to me!” ZFS demands.
The cactus then pouts and goes back to being inanimate.
“Zrat!”
Just then, ZFS feels a cold breeze enter his lab.
“Jeez, I zink I forgot to close le door,” he says as he closes the door. “Wait a minute… it’s ze middle of July! Why would it be cold at zis time of year?”
He opens the door back up, and starts shivering again. ZFS puts on a heavy trench coat, and starts walking outside. The cactus inside the lab starts dancing.
Meanwhile, SpongeBob is getting ready to sled to the Krusty Krab.
“I’m ready, I’m ready, to go to work!” he yells as he sleds along the snow. At the bottom of the hill, he reaches the Krusty Krab, which currently has a closed sign on it.
“Closed?! But it isn’t Sunday, how could this be?” he asks himself.
Krabs stands by SpongeBob, and puts his claw on his shoulder.
“Me boy, it’s no use. What’s the point in opening the Krusty Krab today… when we can profit off of snow labor instead?” Krabs says.
“What about steaming hot glistening golden Krabby Patties?” SpongeBob asks.
“That can wait another day! We have a disaster to profit off of!”
“YOU have a disaster to profit off of, Mr. Krabs. I’m gonna solve this snow mystery once and for all,” SpongeBob declares, determined.
“Suit yourself.”
SpongeBob walks away confidently, and Krabs hops onto a snow plow.
“Money ho!” he yells, and he runs over Fred.
“MY BODY!” he yells.
SpongeBob is now wandering around Fancyland, observing the abnormal snow.
“According to the latest forecast, it’s supposed to be 87 degrees today,” he says to himself. “I don’t think snow would be able to withstand that heat. I mean, I know forecasters aren’t always right, but this is ridiculous.”
SpongeBob then trips on a rock and falls into the snow.
“Stupid snow-”
He then notices Zee French Scientist’s lab, now covered in snow.
“A lab! How convenient.”
SpongeBob walks straight into the lab and encounters a shivering French scientist.
“Are you okay sir?” SpongeBob asks.
“I-I'm fine. I'm trying to figure out where all zis snow came from,” ZFS replies.
“Hey, so am I! We can be lab buddies!”
“I'd rather not, thank you very much.”
“Ooh, what's this for?” SpongeBob pushes a button on the table, and the entire room turns into a chamber. Several specimens are seen trapped in glass closings. SpongeBob walks up to a spongy-looking specimen.
“Hey, this one kinda looks like me!”
The specimen starts laughing vaguely similar to SpongeBob. SpongeBob laughs along with it.
“Be very careful with zat one!” ZFS says. “I still have no idea what it does!”
SpongeBob then releases the specimen by a single push of a button, and holds it in his hands.
“Aww, it's super-mega-duper-adorable!”
“Can we actually go on with zis mystery solving now? My body is getting very cold,” ZFS asks.
“Oh, sure. Let's go!” SpongeBob puts the specimen in one of his holes and goes outside. ZFS sighs and reluctantly follows.
“You really shouldn't have brought that thing with you.”
“Dont worry about it, French guy,” SpongeBob assures him. “I'm sure he’ll come into good use sometime along the way.”
Bubble transition to ZFS looking at a virtual map of Fancyland.
“Ooh, a map!” SpongeBob says, visibly excited. “I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map…”
SpongeBob keeps repeating this as ZFS tries to focus on looking at the map, and gets increasingly frustrated with SpongeBob.
“Can you please ZTOP?!” ZFS demands.
“I'm the MAP!” SpongeBob yells out.
“Yes, I get it, you are ze map. How about you go play with that slime thing over in that corner?”
“Ooh, slime!” SpongeBob zips over to the corner to play with the slime specimen sitting on the table.
“Make sure not to squeeze it too hard, it's very radioactive!”
“Don't worry, Mr. France, I got this.”
“No idea what kind of name zat is.”
ZFS continues observing the map.
“Cold places, cold places… where are the cold places? A-ha-!”
SpongeBob screams off-screen, and the camera pans over to him turning into a mutant.
“Zee gads!” ZFS exclaims. “What did I tell you?”
SpongeBob roars, and grabs ZFS by his neck, strangling him.
“What you know about rollin' down in the deep? When your brain goes numb, you can call zat mental freeze-” ZFS isn’t able to finish the song lyrics before SpongeBob turns back to normal and lets go of him.
SpongeBob giggles sheepishly. “Sorry about that.”
“Forget it. Let’s just go to Pufferfish Peak.”
“Pufferfish Peak? You mean that place where it’s nearly sub-zero all the time?”
“Indeed.”
“Eek, I can feel goosebumps on my body already. In fact there's a song about bodies that I quite like. Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-”
ZFS shuts SpongeBob up with a snack clip.
“Let's just go. Put zese winter clothes on. The trip will be very dangerous.”
ZFS puts a striped pink winter suit onto SpongeBob, and then puts a green one on himself.
“Ooh, pink!”
“Don't bother with the colors, we have a mystery to solve and a mountain to climb.”
“I'm way ahead of you, French.” SpongeBob pulls out a pair of suction cups. “These will help us climb the peak!”
“Are you insane? Zose will never work. Last time I tried using suction cups was when I tried escaping my college bullies back in the day. I shudder just thinking about zat.”
Bubble transition to Mr. Krabs in the snow plow, gathering snow from a random guy’s lawn.
“You'll give me plenty of doubloons for this, right?” Krabs asks over the snow plow’s noise.
“Absolutely. I have plenty of ‘em,” the random guy says. He then subtly giggles without Krabs noticing. “I've been meaning to give away my chocolate coins one of these days…”
Mr. Krabs finishes plowing the guy’s front lawn, and approaches the guy sitting on the ground, who was waiting for him.
“You got the goods?” Krabs asks.
“Of course, sir,” the guy answers. He then gives Krabs a bag of (chocolate) coins.
“Yippee! Jackpot!” Krabs’ eyes become dollar signs, but disappear when he checks one of the coins to see if they’re legitimate. “Why do they taste like chocolate?”
“Uhh… watermelon!” The guy then runs back into his house, locking the door as well.
Krabs then starts steaming with anger. “This is worse than the time someone gave me 5 Gum. I can still feel it, eugh.”
Meanwhile, SpongeBob and ZFS are approaching Pufferfish Peak. It is snowing extremely heavily.
“Neptune, it’s so snowy that it makes Alaska look like Australia,” ZFS comments.
“Imagine living in Alaska,” SpongeBob says.
“I know a guy.” ZFS then winks at the camera, confusing SpongeBob. “Never mind, forget about it.”
“Do you think this is the cause of the snowfall?” SpongeBob asks. “The mountain, I mean.”
“Well, there’s a good chance. It's under 70 degrees centigrade.”
“What's a centigrade? Is that like school grades for centipedes?”
“You're an idiot, sir. You know zat?”
SpongeBob starts playing with his nose like a springy doorstop.
“Nope.”
“Why do I even bother with you Americans?”
“We’re American?”
“Ugh, just forget about it.”
Snow transition to the two nearing the peak of the mountain.
“You know, I'm surprised we haven't hit any obstacles along our way yet,” SpongeBob notes.
“You just jinxed it,” ZFS says.
“How do you know?”
Suddenly, a monstrous scream is heard, and a giant avalanche heads towards the duo.
“RUN!” ZFS yells.
“Wait, do you not have anything to stop the-?”
“Never mind that! Just run to safety!”
“You gotta have something in here that could help us. Anything!”
SpongeBob reaches inside of ZFS’ pants, and he finds a pair of underwear. SpongeBob sweats with an awkward smile as ZFS takes back his underwear.
“You need to wash down there,” SpongeBob says, and then immediately gets slapped.
ZFS then spots a tiny hole in the mountain, and pushes himself through it. SpongeBob scratches his head, and is quickly pulled along with Zee French Scientist.
“Phew! We almost died!” SpongeBob says in relief.
“Oui oui,” ZFS responds.
“Do you need to pee?”
“Zhut up, you holey baguette. You’re lucky we’re still alive.”
The duo then hear the same monstrous scream, and crouch down as another avalanche passes by. This time, a police officer is swept by the avalanche.
“Hi, SpongeBob,” the officer says as he passes by.
“Hi, officer,” SpongeBob responds, waving.
“Ugh, we have no time for zis,” ZFS says impatiently. He then breaks through the mountain where the hole is located, and drags SpongeBob along to reach the top of the mountain, where they see a large opening.
“The thing must be in there,” SpongeBob says.
“Let's go in,” ZFS says, but SpongeBob is already inside. “Drats.”
SpongeBob is inside what looks to be a cave lair. He looks around, curious and confused.
“I wonder where that screaming came from-”
A sea spider lands on SpongeBob’s nose, and he starts screaming.
“Zee monster!” ZFS exclaims. He goes inside the lair, much to his disappointment to see that it's only a spider.
“Zis is no monster, you arachnophobe! It's a zpider! An arachnid!” ZFS shouts.
“Sorry, it scared me,” SpongeBob replies, blushing.
Just then, a giant shadow appears behind the duo. They look scared as it approaches closer and closer to them. The monster roars, and spit splatters all over the two of them. SpongeBob then notices who the monster is, and calms down. He then roars at him, imitating the monster.
“What are you doing? Don’t feed into his chaos!” ZFS exclaims.
“Raarg, hello there! I didn’t know that mountain you lived in was near Fancyland,” SpongeBob says nonchalantly.
“Raarg? What kind of name is zat?”
Raarg, now on screen, roars yet again. Then, he smiles and shakes ZFS’ hand.
“Oh, uh, thanks, I guess,” he manages to say. “So wait. You’re the source of all zis winter nonsense?”
Raarg nods his head, and a flashback starts.
In the flashback, Raarg is seen rolling a giant snowball on top of the mountain. Then, he slips and fumbles, making the giant snowball roll down the mountain. The snowball becomes bigger and bigger until it’s as big as the mountain, and explodes into a snowy mess when it hits the ground.
The flashback ends, and the duo seem to be satisfied with the explanation.
“Well, Raarg, believe it or not, you caused an ice age,” ZFS says. “So we’re gonna have to do something about you.”
“Yeah, do something about you!” the police officer says in agreement.
“How did you get here?” SpongeBob asks.
“Doesn’t matter. What matters is that this monster is responsible for this nuclear winter in the summer! He needs to be exiled!”
“Wait! You can’t do that to him!”
“Why not?”
“Uhh… he’s getting his own show soon. Surely that’ll be enough to cover for all the snow damage.”
The police officer thinks for a second.
“Alright, fine. But he better not do this again, or he’s banned from Fancyland.”
Raarg grunts in agreement.
“Well, what do we do in the meantime?” SpongeBob asks.
Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Gary in winter gear exiting the pineapple with a larger than average sled, and start sliding down a nearby hill.
“Isn’t this fun, Gary? It’s like Christmas in July!” SpongeBob says.
“Meow, meow!”
Squidward is seen trudging his way to work, but then gets run over by SpongeBob’s sled, and he turns into a snowman. Some kids show up and start singing Frosty the Snowman, and Squidward looks grumpy and unamused.
Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs is seen shoveling up snow for Ms. Mildred.
“Are you sure yer gonna actually pay me this time?” Krabs asks.
“Only a true snob would do that!” Ms. Mildred responds in her usual snobby voice.
A timelapse of Krabs finishing up shoveling the snow is played, and when the time lapse stops, Mr. Krabs approaches Mildred, exhausted.
“So, can I have the payment now?” he asks.
Ms. Mildred raises her head. “You did such a terrible job, I’d rather do it myself!” She then stomps off, leaving Krabs frozen in place with his mouth open.
The SpongeBob-looking specimen from earlier pops up on the camera and does its signature annoying laugh. The screen then freezes and turns black-and-white.
“And it was never useful the entire time,” the narrator says as the episode ends.
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