The Substitute

The Substitute is the seventh episode of season one of Saved by the Bell.
==Summary==
When Ms. Simpson injures her armpit, a substitute teacher named Tony Crane takes over her class at Bayside. However, when all the girls, including Lisa, Jessie, and Kelly, fall for Mr. Crane, Zack and Slater become jealous. In retaliation, Slater forms a punk band called The Fart Sniffers, and Zack gets his taint pierced.
==Cast==
*Mark-Paul Gosselaar as Zack Morris
*Mario Lopez as A.C. Slater
*Dustin Diamond as Screech Powers
*Lark Voorhies as Lisa Turtle
*Elizabeth Berkley as Jessie Spano
*Tiffani Thiessen as Kelly Kapowski
*Dennis Haskins as Richard Belding
==Guest Cast==
*Ed Alonzo as Max
*Hank Stratton as Tony Crane
*Bess Meyer as Vicki
*Pamela Kosh as Mrs. Simpson
==Quotes==
Mr. Crane: Zack, I could have any woman I want. Any woman at this school, or any school. Do you want to know something?
Zack: I'm not sure I do.
Mr. Crane: I don't want any of the women, any of these little girls. I'd give up that power in an instant to gain the one thing I want: someone wise beyond their years, someone strong, but caring.
Zack: Mr. Crane, I-
Mr. Crane: But someone else holds Slater's heart in their palm, someone who knows not what power she has. I will have what she has. I will take it from her, and before she realizes she's defeated, I will spit in her hideous face.
Zack: Well, good talk Mr. Crane. Do you want to see my p