Warning Labels

*Warning! Keep your pants on when sitting in the Interactive Health massage chair featuring "Human Touch Technology."
*The full text of this important safety tip read: "Do not use massage chair without clothing. Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving." 
*"Do not use snow blower on the roof."
*"Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."
*A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions, "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
*A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user: "Remove child before folding."
*A bottle of prescription sleeping pills says, "Warning:  May cause drowsiness."
*A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
*A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
*An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks."
*A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious."
*A container of underarm deodorant says, "Caution: Do not spray in eyes."
*A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner."
*A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn."
*A label with a hair dryer reads, "Never use hair dryer while sleeping."
*A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: "Not intended for highway use."
*A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place."
*A bathroom heater says: "This product is not to be used in bathrooms."
*A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: "May irritate eyes."
*A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
*A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution: Risk of Fire."
*A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertation into a body cavity."
*On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
*On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Time for that X-Ray vision)
*On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (As opposed to "irregular" soap?)
*On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
*On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (Printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
*On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
*On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
*On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (Does this company needs to review the child labor laws?)
*On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
*On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children.
*On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
*On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (That does make you wonder!)
*On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
*On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
*On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
*On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Category:Language Humor