Funsgiving/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Funsgiving".
== ==
(Poppy is at her pod with her friends.)
Poppy: All right, everybody, it’s time we decided who gets to host Funsgiving! (Her friends cheer.)
Smidge: You’re gonna love Funsgiving, Branch. Trolls all over the village gather with close friends for a big holiday feast!
Branch: Uh… Look, I get that you all are used to explaining things to me, but I know what Funsgiving is.
Guy Diamond: See, Branch, by “Funsgiving,” we mean the one meal a year when we’re actually encouraged to play with our food.
Branch: I know! Stop patronizing me!
Biggie: And by “food,” we man any nutritious substance we ingest-
Branch: I KNOW! I’M NOT A CHILD! (He jumps onto Poppy’s bed and the blanket covers him completely.)
Chenille: Ooh! Funsgiving can’t come fast enough. Remember last year, how will I did at Cheese and Checkers? (We go to the past where she and Satin are playing Cheese and Checkers.)
Past Chenille: Winning is so gouda. (She eats her cheese. We go to Guy Diamond.)
Guy Diamond: And remember the kabobs the year before that? (He throws some kabobs at a target.)
Past Guy Diamond: When it comes to shish, Guy Diamond can’t mish. (We go to Smidge.)
Smidge: And remember three years ago, my big upset against Cooper? (She picks up fish sticks.)
Past Smidge: You got any flounder?
Past Cooper: Go Fish Sticks! (Smidge takes a bite out of a fish stick.)
Past Smidge: Ooh! Flounder! I win! (We go back to the present.)
Poppy: (sighs) Fun times. Now, I figured we’d pick this year’s host with a little Spin the Fuzzbert. Fuzzbert?
All: (As Fuzzbert appears) Go! Go! Go! (Fuzzbert starts spinning.) Go! Go! 
Poppy: And the winner is… (Fuzzbert stops on Biggie.) … Biggie!
Biggie: (gasps) Me?! I’ve never gotten to host before! Is this really happening?
Poppy: It sure is! Plus, I already went to the market and got you our traditional main course… (She takes out a plate and uncovers it.) … diced fruit!
Smidge: Whoa!
All: Ooh!
Smidge: That’s the biggest six-sider I’ve ever seen!
Biggie: Wow! What an honor, you guys! I promise I’ll host the perfect dinner. I’ve even got a special dish planned: Dinkles dumplings. (His friends say nothing.) Because they look like him, not taste. You’ll see.
Chenille: Sounds great, man. (She takes out a few recipes.) Here are some of our favorite Funsgiving recipes to help you out.
Satin: (Carrying more recipes) Be sure the chicken finger puppets are nice and crispy.
Guy Diamond: And only use heavy cream in the mashed po-tic-tac-tatoes. (He gives more recipes to Biggie.) I’m what you might call “lactose indulgent.”
Smidge: (Carrying a huge pile of recipes) And don’t forget the black and white cookies… (She throws the recipes all over Biggie.) … for snackgammon! (Biggie uncovers himself.)
Biggie: Wow. This is a lot of recipes.
Poppy: Hm, don’t worry, Biggie. If you can’t make every dish, that’s OK.
Biggie: (laughs) What? Poppy, of course I’m making every dish. I don’t want to host an OK Funsgiving. I want to host a perfect Funsgiving. (He goes over to Branch, who has Poppy’s blanket wrapped around himself.) See, Branch, by “Funsgiving,” we mean- (Branch yells and covers himself with Poppy’s blanket again. Later, Biggie is outside and getting ready to make the food.) all right, Mr. Dinkles, there’s only 12 hours before dinner. If we’re going to make these complex recipes, every minute counts. (He sighs and reads one of the recipes.) OK. “Smidge’s musical éclair chairs.” Step 1. In a mixing bowl, add one cup milk… (Mr. Dinkles pours some milk in a bowl.) … two eggs… (Mr. Dinkles adds two eggs.) … and sugar! “432,312 grains’ worth”? OK. (He starts adding the sugar.) 1, 2, a 3, 4, 5… (Later, a bug oven rings.) Step 24: pull from oven and serve. A perfect musical éclair chair! Whoo! We did it, Mr. D! (Mr. Dinkles high-fives him.) And it only took… six hours?! How did the time slip away?! (Poppy and Branch approach him.)
Branch: Hey, Biggie, everything all right?
Biggie: No, nothing is all right. I’m worried I won’t get all these done in time! (He lays his head down on the table.)
Poppy: Easy. Easy, Biggie. Take a deep breath and just do what you can.
Biggie: But, Poppy, everyone looks forward to Funsgiving all year. If it’s not just right, it will be a disaster.
Branch: No. Biggie, we can still pull this meal together. We just need to stay motivated.
Biggie: Really?
Poppy: One motivation song coming right up. A 1, and a 2, and a… (She and Branch sing We’re Cookin’.)
(All)
Wahoo-hoo!
(Branch)
Watch as we mix it up
We kicking it with love
Like we do
(All)
Wahoo-hoo!
(Poppy and Branch)
With just a touch of spice
Sugar and all things nice
We can’t lose
(Biggie)
Just work, work, work from the heart
When you feel like stopping
Go on and restart
You got everything it takes to win
(Poppy and Biggie)
Just work, work, work as a team
Teamwork makes the dream work
Know what I mean?
You got everything
When you got your friends
(All)
Now, now, now, now, now we’re cookin’
We’re cooking with gas, baby
And if anybody’s asking me
I’m-a tell them we’re cookin’ (By the end of the song, the table has many food.)
Poppy and Branch: Ooh!
Biggie: And now the crown jewel, the diced fruit!
Poppy and Branch: Ah!
Biggie: Hm. Seems a bit off-center. (He shakes the plate with the diced fruit.) There. Hm? (The diced fruit falls off the table.) Oh, no! Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no!
Branch: It’s OK, Biggie. So, it’s a little dented. No big deal.
Biggie: It is a big deal! You know what they say: “Without a good diced fruit, Funsgiving is a shameful cataclysm of humiliation.
Branch: They don’t say that.
Poppy: Uh… Actually, they do. But they shouldn’t.
Biggie: (Throwing away the ruined diced fruit) I’m going to get another one! (The diced fruit’s splat is heard.)
Poppy and Branch: No!
Poppy: Biggie, finding a diced fruit on Funsgiving is nearly impossible!
Biggie: What?!
Guy Diamond: (offscreen) We’re here!
Smidge: Happy Funsgiving!
Cooper: Look out, food! You’re about to get played! (He, Smidge, Guy Diamond, Satin, and Chenille start to head to the table.)
Biggie: (gasps) Look, I’ll find a new diced fruit somehow. Stall them! (He runs off.)
Guy Diamond: Where’s Biggie? Isn’t dinner ready?
Smidge: Yeah, I’m fungry! “Hungry for fun”? It’s something the kids say, whatever.
Poppy: Uh… dinner is basically ready. (chuckles) But while he puts on the final touches, Biggie asked that we…
Branch: Uh, play a quick round of charades.
Poppy: Yeah!
Chenille: I guess, if it’s just one round.
Branch: Great! I’ll go first. (He points a finger.)
Guy Diamond: First word. (Branch taps his fingers on his arms.) 19 syllables?
Branch: Mm-hm. (The rest of the Snack Pack groans. Meanwhile, Biggie is still searching for diced fruit. He goes to a food stand.)
Biggie: Diced fruit?
Troll #1: Sorry. (Biggie goes to another food stand.)
Biggie: Diced fruit?
Troll #2: Sorry. (Biggie goes to a 3rd food stand.)
Biggie: Diced fruit?!
Troll #3: Sorry. (Biggie runs over to Rufus.)
Biggie: Rufus, please tell me you have a diced fruit left!
Rufus: Nope. All out.
Biggie: (screams) Does anybody have a diced fruit?! (An old Troll calls out to him.)
Old Troll: Yoo-hoo! I’ve got one for you, sonny. (Biggie gasps and runs over to the old Troll.)
Biggie: You have a diced fruit?
Old Troll: Here, a nice flute, like you asked. (She holds out a flute.)
Biggie: What? No, I said “diced fruit.”
Old Troll: Oh, my mistake. (She throws away the flute.) Here you go. (She picks up a frozen boot.) One iced boot.
Biggie: Diced fruit! Diced fruit!
Old Troll: Oh! I understand now. You wanted… a miced suit. (It is revealed that the suit was actually mice in disguise.)
Biggie: No, no, no! (sighs) Please, under any other circumstances I would find this confusion adorable, but right now, I need a diced fruit.
Old Troll: Sorry. I donated my last one to the children’s Funsgiving pageant.
Biggie: (gasps) To the pageant! (At the pageant, CJ Suki is playing as King Peppy.)
CJ Suki: Woe is me! I, King Peppy, desire to create a new holiday feast. But I have no idea how to make it fun, for I am older now and slower of mind. (The crowd laughs.)
Peppy: It’s true. I am old.
Gemma: And the king fell into a deep sleep and dreamed of foods, each with a fun idea. (More Troll children appear while dressed as food.)
Biggie: Oh, excuse me. Sorry. Coming through. (He sees a diced fruit on the stage.) Oh, we’re not too late! As soon as the pageant ends, the diced fruit is ours.
CJ Suki: Now, fun food, share with me your ideas. A hundred ideas in all! (She falls off the stage.)
Biggie: Wait, 100 ideas?
Troll Child #1: I am a potato. I’m great for sculpting.
Troll Child #2: I am a melon ball. I make a good baseball. I also make a good basketball. I also make a good…
Biggie: Oh, come on! (sighs) I have to find a way to speed up this pageant.
Troll Child #2: I also make a good golf ball. I also make-
Biggie: Ahem! (He comes up on the stage.) Hello! (The crowd murmurs in confusion.)
CJ Suki: Uh… What are you doing here?
Biggie: I am the uh… the… the uh… (In a deep voice) … the Ghost of Funsgiving Future… (He rips a banner off and uses it as a cape.) … here to share the true meaning of Funsgiving.
CJ Suki: Ghost of Funsgiving?
Biggie: For you see, Funsgiving is not just about the “fun,” it’s about the “giving.”
All: Aw!
Peppy: (Shedding a tear) Now, that’s just beautiful.
Biggie: And so, in the spirit of giving… (He picks up the diced fruit.) Give this to me. Pageant over. Bye! (He runs away and the crowd cheers.) I can make it! I can make it! If Poppy and Branch just buy me a little more time! (Back at the feast, Branch is blowing raspberries.)
Smidge: No more charades! I need to start Funsgiving now!
Guy Diamond, Cooper, Satin, and Chenille: FUNSGIVING NOW!
Biggie: Happy Funsgiving!
All: Huh? (Biggie arrives at the table and pants.) Dinner is served. (His friends cheer.)
Guy Diamond: Biggie, this dinner is amazing!
Poppy: Sure is! Looks like you’ve made the perfect Funsgiving after all.
Biggie: Thank you. Now, let’s fig in before there’s any more… (Suddenly, the diced fruit shakes.) … surprises? (It is revealed that Keith is dressed up as a diced fruit.)
Keith: And it was a Funsgiving miracle!
Satin and Chenille: Huh?
Cooper: Huh?
Poppy, Branch, and Guy Diamond: Hm?
Keith: What happened to the pageant?
Smidge: Uh… can someone please explain what’s going on?
Biggie: (sighs) I can. I’m sorry to say, I tried to make this a perfect Funsgiving, like all of you have in the years past, but the only dish I’m serving is failure. Help yourself. There’s plenty to go around. (Poppy and Branch look at each other and she goes over to Biggie.)
Poppy: Biggie, you’re not a failure. All these past Funsgivings you’re talking about, they may have seemed perfect to you, but we all made tons of mistakes.
Biggie: You did?
Smidge: Oh, my Guh, yes. When I hosted, I dropped the potatoes on the floor.
Guy Diamond: My mac and cheese was all cheese, no mac.
Satin: We just heated up leftovers from the year before.
Chenille: It’s true, man.
Biggie: I had no idea.
Poppy: Funsgiving isn’t about the perfect meal; it’s about having fun with your friends.
Biggie: Aw!
Smidge: OK, enough with the mushy stuff. Can we play with our dinner now? (She bangs her fists on the table.)
Poppy: What do you say, Biggie?
Biggie: I say… Happy Funsgiving, everyone!
All: Happy Funsgiving! (Just as they start to eat, Keith comes over to Branch.)
Keith: You see, Branch, by “Funsgiving,” we mean- (Branch grunts and throws a plate of pink icing in Keith’s face.)
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