Everybody Dies/Murder Mansion/Pilot

Pilot is the first episode of Murder Mansion, as well as the first episode of Everybody Dies.
== Episode ==
=== Part One ===
"...wake...up..."
A voiced echoed through Claire's mind. It didn't take long for her to wake up in the cold ground she had apparently was laying in.
CLAIRE: Huh? Where am I...
Claire looked around. She had no idea where she was. But it was fancy though so she grabbed herself a bottle of wine, without noticing the guy standing there.
CLAIRE: oH jesus what the fuck who are you
???: Nice to meet you, I'm--
Before the guy can finish his sentence, Claire bitchslaps him.
CLAIRE: where the hell am I? and how did u figure out I was in italy? oh no are you--
???: I have no idea of what you're talking about but yeah, I also don't have any idea of how I arrived here.
CLAIRE: ok and you are...?
???: The name's Rantaro Amami.
CLAIRE: I'm Claire... So is it just the two of us here?
RANTARO: I don't know... I tried opening the door but it's locked.
CLAIRE: oh shit, were we kidnapped or something?
RANTARO: sounds like it...
Suddenly the door opens by itself.
CLAIRE: what the hell?
RANTARO: i think thats our cue...
CLAIRE: what the fuck do you mean by "our cue"?
Rantaro leaves the kitchen without answering.
CLAIRE (thinking): im
They go to the living room where they find six more people. Claire immediately reckognizes two of them.
CLAIRE: Crim! Tom!
The three of them hug.
TOM: we havent seen u in ages... omg i have a perfect song for th--
CRIM: tom, can u just not, it's not time to sing "he will come... again" its time to greet our friend we havent seen in a year
TOM: for someone who was gonna spend two weeks in spain u sure took a lot longer
CRIM: yeah did something... happe--
Suddenly a girl with a ponytail interrupts the reunion.
SONYA: i just came here to ask... is there wine or something like that in the kitchen?
CLAIRE: yep
SONYA: well fuck all of you im getting wasted
Sonya runs to the kitchen.
CRIM: what
TOM: wait whos that hottie that left the kitchen with u?
CLAIRE: thats ranturd i think
TOM: id fuck that tbh
Rantaro, who is on the other side of the living room, is chatting with the other two people there: two girls who are seemingly very close with each other.
RANTARO: do any of you have any idea how you got here?
SHAY: i just know that i was supposed to be in a flood escape 2 tournament right now... with that bitch
Shay points to Crim who doesn't even notice Shay.
PARIS: shay can we just like have fun were in a fucking mansion and emerson is nowhere to be seen
EMERSON: THE ROBBED LEGEND OF BIG BROTHER ROBLOX IS BACK
Everyone notices a bloody Emerson coming from upstairs.
PARIS: ...said literally no one
CRIM: why are you all bloody?
EMERSON: dude there's like a dead body upstairs i came here to call u bitches everyone else is already there
Everyone gasps.
Meanwhile in a bedroom upstairs...
CHELSEA: AAAAAAAAAAAAHH A DEAD BODY A FUCKING DEAD BODY LIAM SAVE ME
Chelsea jumps to Liam's arms but Liam doesn't pick her up so she lands on the ground.
LIAM: oh um oops
CATTY: btich i did not fly from boonighted states of scaramerica to whatever the fuck we are now so i can see some burnt dead body
SERENA: boonighted states of scaramerica what the fuck???? speak english
CATTY: who even are u
FAT AMY: this burnt smell is making me hungry
SISTER: may god have mercy on ur fat ass
TAYLOR: can all of u shut the fuck up u dumb bitches
The other rats join them and see the dead body. Rantaro gets close and investigates the body.
RANTARO: its disfigured, i cant tell who it is
Suddenly the TV turns on.
MONOKUMA: Hiya kids, I'm the owner of this mansion Monokuma!
Everyone's confused.
MONOKUMA: guess what? while everyone was supposedly laying on the ground, one of you guys has already been killed by the murderer among you!
SONYA: is it the alcohol setting in or did the little teddy bear just say one of us is a murderer
MONOKUMA: thats right sonya! one of you is a murderer. ofc because i am so nice i decided to help all of you escape the mansion. numerous clues are set in the house that will lead to ways to escape the mansion and not get slaughtered by the killer. will you survive the terror and escape the mansion or will you fall victim of the killer's trap? you decide
MONOKUMA: ok so yeah bye
The TV turns off.
CATTY: im so confused what
FAT AMY: wow u dumb bitch
RANTARO: a fucking killing game... great.
=== Part Two ===
Everyone is thinking about the footage just shown.
CRIM: so what are we supposed to do now? just wait for one of us sickos to kill someone?
TOM: what if we all split up?
TAYLOR: cause that wouldn't make it easier for the killer to kill us
TRINITY: yeah what if one of us gets paired with the killer?
LIAM: maybe not pairs, but teams of four? there's sixteen of us in here it would work perfectly
Everyone lowkey agrees.
CHELSEA: you have such amazing ideas liam
LIAM: ok so lets do this
Liam randomly writes everyone's names and picks everyone at random.
LIAM: so first off: crim, you will stay with trinity, shay and paris
Shay deathstares Crim and Crim doesn't fucking care.
LIAM: next up: catty, you will stay with taylor, sonya and serena
CATTY: wow great i get to stick with these whores
LIAM: next up...
Liam gets his own name next to Chelsea, Claire and Tom. Liam immediately drops Chelsea's name, with only Tom noticing, and picks Rantaro.
LIAM: I am staying with Claire, Tom and Rantaro
CHELSEA: wait whaT THE FUC--
LIAM: so this means: Chelsea dear you will stay with Emerson, Sister and Fat Amy
Chelsea screams and throws a tantrum.
Later...
---CHELSEA'S TEAM---
Sister is searching the bedroom along with Fat Amy and Chelsea refuses to do anything, while Emerson eats popcorn.
SISTER: hey bitch, why dont u fucking make urself useful for once!
CHELSEA: lol sis, i'm chelsea avenue i dont have to do anything
SISTER: chelsea avenue? lol never heard of it
CHELSEA: im loads rich
SISTER: too bad your money cant pay us an escape out of here so why the fuck dont u and blonde nerf boy over here search along with us
EMERSON: meh i dont feel like it, if you find a nerf gun warn me
SISTER: Either you help us or...
CHELSEA: or?
SISTER: Or I will send you dumb rats on your own path
CHELSEA: fine, i dont wanna spend much time with u fatties here so yeah bye
Chelsea leaves the bedroom along with Emerson. She regrets it though but as she tries to get in she notices the door has been locked.
CHELSEA: ...what... LET ME IN
SISTER: weren't you gonna go off your path? have fun surviving whore
FAT AMY: damn
SISTER: found anything yet?
FAT AMY: I don't think there's anything he--
Amy comes across a shoebox. She opens it and it's a DVD.
FAT AMY: what the fuck do these still exist?
SISTER: maybe there's a dvd player around...
---CATTY'S TEAM---
Catty is sighing because Taylor, Sonya and Serena aren't doing shit.
SONYA: we should like... tweet for help
TAYLOR: when i find whoever is doing this, im gonna write a song about them
CATTY: oh u write songs too?
TAYLOR: the fuck ofc i do, im taylor swift™ and i am the queen of pop
CATTY: and i am catty noir™ the queen of ghoultastic pop bitch
SERENA: and i am serena chacha the queen of panama
TAYLOR & CATTY: no one cares
TAYLOR: fine bitch, we're doing this the riff off way
SONYA: ok, category is: songs that u play while ur hopping chad radwells big fat cock
---CRIM'S TEAM---
After being paired with Crim, Shay and Paris lowkey just leave and Crim is like ok whatever.
CRIM: ok so we need to find a key or something
Crim and Trinity go to the kitchen and find a gun in the kitchen table. Crim takes the gun.
TRINITY: are you sure...
CRIM: what if we come across the killer? we gotta be ready
TRINITY: alright
CRIM: ok u need to work on your enunciation cause i barely have any idea of what u just said
TRINITY: um
---SHAY AND PARIS---
The girls are walking around and talking.
SHAY: ok i need to find out this fucking key
PARIS: wait whats that?
Paris points to a door.
SHAY: its a door bitch
PARIS: ooh fun i wonder where it leads to
SHAY: i cant
Paris tries to go into the room but the door is locked. Suddenly they notice a note under the floor, saying "LEAVE".
SHAY: this is probably a secret room or something lol who cares
---TOM'S TEAM---
Tom, Claire and Liam wait for Rantaro to search the body for clues.
LIAM: is this gonna take a while?
RANTARO: sorry if im just looking for clues
LIAM: youre searching a dead body
RANTARO: i just dont get it, why is the body burnt
CLAIRE: who know--
Suddenly they all hear a scream coming from downstairs.
LIAM: that sounded a bratty and annoying scream.... CHELSEA!
They all run over downstairs and look for Chelsea.
TOM: what the fuck where did she go
CLAIRE: OH MY GOD
LIAM: what is it claire?
Claire points to a bloody corpse under the sofa. Liam pulls the body from the sofa only to reveal...
Emerson's lifeless corpse.
RANTARO: it has begun...
TO BE CONTINUED...Category:Everybody Dies Episodes
Category:Murder Mansion Episodes