Dinner of Hearts of Gold/transcript

Previous Episode: The Soccer Game
Next Episode: Revenge of The Evil Grandpa Master Lox
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: January 27, 1996
Episode Copyrighted: 1995
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
*Episode starts*
The episode begins at The Krusty Krab. Squidward is in the corner crying after looking at a magazine with Squilliam on it and he can't stop looking at his rival. SpongeBob and Lincoln in the Kitchen, it's a very slow day, noon time, and not one customer.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Huh? We wonder where all the customers went to? Squidward!!!!
Lincoln Loud: Yes.
Squidward Tentacles: *stops crying and gets annoyed* WHATTTTTT?!!!!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: How are you doing?
Squidward Tentacles: Oh just dandy! NOT!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Can I make you feel better? I got nothing else to do?
Squidward Tentacles: No! Now leave me alone!
Lincoln Loud: Hey Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: Lincoln, geez.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Actually one more question!
Squidward Tentacles: *groans* … Neptune, please kill me now.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Where is Mr. K?
Squidward Tentacles: Probably in his office taking his usual stupid cash baths. Lori must be here.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *opens the door to Krabs’ office but Krabs isn’t in there, it's darkened in there like nobody entered inside this morning*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Where could he have gone to?
Squidward Tentacles: Actually better question, would you two listen to these three words?
Lincoln Loud: Sure!!!
Squidward Tentacles: Okay good, here it goes, …. GO AWAY NOW!!!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ditto!
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *prances off*
Squidward Tentacles: What a simpleton.
Squidward then kicks back ready to go take a nap but he is disturbed from it by soap falling on him.
Squidward Tentacles: Ughhh!! What the?!
He looks up to see SpongeBob and Lincoln on the ceiling cleaning it.
Squidward Tentacles: SPONGEBOB! LINCOLN! GET DOWN FROM THERE!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hold on Squidward! We got to clean this salty nasty barnacle on this piece of cardboard wood!
Lincoln Loud: I'll get it.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *scrubs it but gets nowhere making more soap as well as wood shavings fall onto Squidward's big bald head*
Squidward is fuming with rage now and climbs up onto the crows nest. Squidward then scales on the ceiling sticking to it with his suction cups. He is going to grab SpongeBob and clobber him.
Squidward Tentacles: Meet your maker you BEAST OF BURDEN!!
Before he can get the young innocent Sponge and Linc.
Mr. Krabs: *walks in the front door* Ahoy lads! I am back from my pedicure!
Lori Loud: Hey Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: Hey Lori, welcome to Beast of Burden!
Lori Loud: That's so awesome!
Scene shows a close up of Mr. Krabs’ toenails now polished green with dollar signs on them.
Mr. Krabs: Now.. What are you doing on the ceiling?
The ceiling answers for Mr. Krabs itself by imploding down onto ground level due to always being on a weak support system that can’t support the weight of a broom, SpongeBob, Squidward, Lincoln and Lori at the same time. Smoke engulfs the setting before clearing up showing The Krusty Krab's walls and other stuff still standing but what is supposed to be the dining room is now instead a room full of destroyed ceiling and roof. SpongeBob, Squidward, Lincoln and Lori pop up from the wreckage first and both cough. Mr. Krabs finally surfaces. SpongeBob goes to him.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you okay Mr. K?!
Mr. Krabs: No I am not, you featherbrain! You, Linc, Lori and Squid know the ceiling was weak since you started working here!
SpongeBob SquarePants: I know, I’m so sorry!
Squidward Tentacles: Sweet, since the ceiling is destroyed, I get a day off!
Mr. Krabs: Apparently ye do… Well, at least me toenails are still okay!
Scene shows Krabs’ toenails but then they begin to crack and eventually break showing extremely aged brownish yellow and chipped toenails with fungus growing around the sides. Oh boy, do they smell, even worse than Athlete's Foot.
Squidward grabs his mouth.
Squidward Tentacles: I think I’m going to be sick!
Lori Loud: Me too!
He then vomits and passes out from the disturbing sight and smell.
Spongebob's eyes and nose melt off.
Lincoln Loud: *gasps*
Mr. Krabs: AAAAAHHHHH!! ME MONEY!! UH I MEAN, POLISHED TOENAILS!! *begins crying before getting a grip* SPONGEBOB!! YOU ARE ON PROBATION BOY!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *grows back his eyes and nose and is hysterical with grief*
Lori Loud: WHERE'S SQUIDWARD?
SpongeBob SquarePants: But, but, but, SQUIDWARD WENT ON THE ROOF!!
Mr. Krabs: Why did he? To get you down from there!!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *cries*
Lincoln Loud: Poor SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: That's okay, Lincoln.
Squidward Tentacles: *regains consciousness*
Mr. Krabs: Uh oh! Brace for impact!
Lincoln Loud: *runs to SpongeBob*
SpongeBob's tears form a tsunami and it rampages through the city.
Fred Rechid: My leg!
The scene cuts to 3:50 PM, at the Loud House. Spongebob has mostly improved his mood but is still slightly upset at the thought of being on probation now, but with his good nature, he holds no grudges against Squidward. Spongebob is getting ready to cook tacos for his dinner.
A bored Gary finishes chewing on his rubber ball and goes up to Spongebob hungry for tacos. Gary loves em. As Lincoln comes to his dinner.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Yellow Rectangle: Hey SpongeBob.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey Yellow. *to Gary* I know Gary, you'll get your tacos, don’t worry! But they won’t be ready until say 5? I like to take my time. *to Lincoln* Hey Lincoln. I made tacos.
Lincoln Loud: Great idea, SpongeBob!
Gary the Snail: Meow Meow Meoww Mrowwwwww.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why am I downnnnn? Well.. I'd rather not talk about it.
Lincoln Loud: Hey Gary.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Leni Loud: Hey, Linky and Spongy!
Lincoln Loud: Hey, Leni! Any fun plans today?
Leni Loud: Yes, actually. All the stores at the mall are having a big blowout sale this weekend. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. Maybe you can find something unique for yourself.
Lincoln Loud: SpongeBob made tacos for his dinner.
Leni Loud: Cool!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, if you guys insist, then in this case, Mr. Krabs put us on probation and now I can’t enjoy work for what it can truly be.
Lincoln Loud: Well, I was going to spend a majority of my time reading comics in my undies today, but I think I need a break from that once in a while. Sure, I’ll come.
Leni Loud: Thanks, SpongeBob and Lincoln! I’ll let you guys eat first, then we’ll go.
Lincoln Loud: Alright.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sniffles but gets a grip* It was Squidward's fault but we don't want enemies, so he is forgiven. Our big problem is this though, what if more than probation takes effect?
Lincoln Loud: Yeah! Our worst enemies!
Leni Loud: Our worst enemies!
Gary the Snail: Meow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why? Well, I'll tell you why, there's no more roof to The Krusty Krab, it's gonzo, bye bye, see you later, which might be my job as well, there's no way I can get out of this predicament! This is so unfair!
Yellow Rectangle: Hey Pink.
Pink Rectangle: Hey guys.
Leni Loud: OMGosh Pink. *hugs her*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sniffles again until getting hit in the face with a frying pan by Gary to control myself* Ow! 
His nose beats up and down and turns red. He however thanks his snail by preventing another tsunami.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Thanks, Gare-Bear. Well, taco time.
In SpongeBob’s House, Gary slithers into the living room ready to go take one of the 20 naps he takes at the pineapple per day but then gets a better idea. He slithers like a race car into the treasure chest in SpongeBob's bedroom.
Gary throws out a couple of SpongeBob's old childhood toys, a hair wig and Squidward's toilet paper. Gary finally pulls out the only item he needs, a phone book. Gary examines the book and dials a number which SpongeBob, who is defrosting the meat in his microwave, notices.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Gary, what are you up to? You better not be calling your snail friends again!
The scene cuts to 4:30 PM, another half hour until the meal is ready and until Krabs gets to the pineapple. Spongebob is hastily preparing his famous beef noodle stew and also trying new recipes, Gary has finished his nap and is using his eyestalks to shoot a recurve bow, shooting arrows at pictures of Squidward. Suddenly, Patrick Star barges into the pineapple with toilet paper stuck onto his foot.
Patrick Star: SPONGEBOB!! SPONGEBOB!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh hey Patrick, what's up?
Patrick Star: YOU ARE COOKING TACOS AND DIDN’T INVITE ME?!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh sorry, I forgot.
Patrick Star: Lie! A best friend helps out his resident idiot by making sure his tummy is well-fed, SHIN NOODLES WON’T DO IT!
SpongeBob SquarePants: First of all, don't bring the president up, and second of all, you're here now, so you can eat in a half hour!
Patrick Star: But I want food now!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Half Hour!
Patrick Star: *sniffles until Spongebob rolls a jar of cookies and notices it hit his foot and he says* KOOKY COOKIES!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh before you eat those cookies, you have toilet paper on your foot.
Patrick finally notices it, he tries to grab the end but it leads him outside, where he, Spongebob and Gary notice a very long toilet paper trail which leads into Patrick's rock and into his bathroom, where there is tons of toilet paper clogged inside and the toilet is overflowing. 
Patrick Star: Oopsie.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *kneels down and cuts the trail near Pat's foot with his buck teeth* *to Patrick* Easy on the TP.
Patrick Star: But you already told me not to bring up TP, aka, The President, oh wait…
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why don't you eat your cookies?
Patrick Star: KOOKY COOKIES!!
Lincoln digs through the freezer and pulls out two waffles. He sticks them in the toaster for three minutes, and eats them up. Once he’s done eating, he approaches Leni.
Leni Loud: Ready, Linky?
Lincoln Loud: You betcha!
Leni Loud: Ready, Pat and Spongy?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yes I’m ready!
Patrick Star: Yay, the mall!
The five exit the house, jump into the car, and drive off.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Wow Leni, you got your license.
Leni Loud: Well, it took 15 tries, but I finally got my license. I want to thank you, SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln for helping me accomplish something I thought I couldn’t do.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No problem, Leni. We're always willing to help you. It just takes some simple vocabulary.
After driving for ten minutes, the five arrive at the mall, and jump out of the car.
Leni Loud: Ah, the mall. My most favorite place in the world.
Lincoln Loud: I remember attending my first concert here. Luna made it a success.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I remember now. Mr. Krabs made tomatoes.
Patrick Star: Yeah.
Leni Loud: Luna actually succeeded in making a first concert unforgettable?
Lincoln Loud: Yep, she did. Mr. Krabs made tomatoes. Ready for some low-priced items.
Leni Loud: Yes!
4:45 PM, The five enter the mall, where it is bustling with a lot of people. The five head to Darcy’s.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh snap! 15 minutes to go! I need to get going on the bell tomato soup! *runs into the Kitchen while a now awakened Patrick says*
Patrick Star: Did somebody mention bell tomato soup?
SpongeBob SquarePants: begins mashing tomatoes, bell peppers, etc., together while Patrick follows inside watching and smiling and licking his lips, which Gary also does.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Leni Loud: *grabs a few clothes and heads to the dressing rooms and tries on one dress to show Lincoln* How do I look?
Lincoln Loud: You look really nice.
Leni Loud: *looks at the mirror* You’re right, This does look beautiful. *notices the half off tag on the dress* Half off? But I’m wearing the whole thing.
Lincoln Loud: No, Leni. “Half off” means that whatever price this dress is, you can buy it for half of the price. Look. *flips the tag over, revealing the dress is priced at $80* $80 for this dress. With this half off deal, you can buy it for only $40.
Leni Loud: I never thought of it that way.
Lincoln Loud: You’re glad that I came with you. At least I can be supportive and helpful.
Leni Loud: You could say that again.
Leni tries on a few clothes, with Lincoln giving her his approval or disapproval. After purchasing the clothes, the two begin heading off to the next store. Leni suddenly feels sad and sighs loudly. Lincoln stops walking into SpongeBob and Patrick.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey Lincoln, I made my dinner.
Lincoln Loud: Cool, SpongeBob!
Patrick Star: Hey buddy.
Lincoln Loud: Hey Patrick. *to Leni* Is something wrong, Leni?
Leni Loud: No, I’m fine. I’m just happy that you came with me. This is probably the nicest you’ve been to me.
Lincoln Loud: That’s nice. But why are you sad about it?
Leni Loud: I was just thinking of all the times where I was jerky at you. Like that time where we fought you for wanting the best seat in the car, when we fought each other just to find a stash of money, when we made you do unfavorable tasks just because you ignored us, or when I ignored you after making that embarrassing video of us. I just can’t help but feel bad for the way I treated you those times.
Lincoln Loud: Hey, it’s all in the past. Keep in mind that at the end of all those events, we learned something we never knew of. I learned you can’t control every little thing you guys do, the thought of money overwhelmed us that we weren’t aware on how we treated each other, I live in a large family and I can’t ignore you all, and you girls had every right to be mad at me for making that video. I just wasn’t aware of the consequences that follow after. Just keep in mind that we can’t hold onto the past forever. We learned something new, and we can use those lessons to improve our actions.
Leni Loud: So you guys forgive me for all the bad things I did to you back then?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yes.
Lincoln Loud: Of course! You can’t let some bad memories overwhelm your thoughts on a specific person.
Leni Loud: Thanks, Spongy, Pat and Linky. You guys really are the best brother I could have, because you’re the only brother in the family.
The two share a big hug. Several people see this and take a photo of them, touched by the sweetness they see. One person takes a photo, writes, “Cutest siblings ever!” and sends it to Lori. Lori, who is checking her phone, sees the picture.
Lori Loud: What’s this?
Lori closely examines the picture. She gets a little frustrated and calls Leni. Leni’s smartphone begins ringing, and she answers it.
Leni Loud: Hello?
Lori Loud: Leni. Why is there is a picture of you, SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln hugging each other at the mall?
Leni Loud: Oh. I guess some people thought it looked nice.
Lori Loud: But why are SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln with you?
Leni Loud: I invited them to come with me.
Lori Loud: Why didn’t you invite me and Squidward instead of SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln?
Leni Loud: I thought you would be busy today.
Lori Loud: You could’ve just asked if I was busy.
Leni Loud: I think I’ll stick with SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln today. Bye! *hangs up*
Lori Loud: *hangs up as well, and looks at the picture of them hugging*
At the Loud House, Mr. Krabs and Pearl pull up into the driveway while Squidward sunbathes outside.
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, Mr. Squidward!
Squidward Tentacles: *turns my head towards the crabby cheapskate while wearing sunglasses and says* Blehhhh… *goes back to sleep and continues to reflect sunlight on my blue boney body*
Mr. Krabs: See Pearlie, I told you he reeks of barnacles! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh!
Pearl Krabs: Wow your jokes are so coral, not, NOW can we enter the pineapple and eat dinner already, I'm supposed to take Billy Fishkins to the Gossip Festival tonight! I NEED MY SOCIAL LIFE!!! WHICH IS NOT BEING AROUND OLDER PEOPLE!!!
Mr. Krabs: Get a grip…
Mr. Krabs and Pearl Krabs: *walks to the door, Squidward overheard my tantrum and responds*
Squidward Tentacles: Drama Queen.
Lori Loud: I can’t be that jealous of them together, right? *smacks myself* Come on, Lori. Just because the five are having fun, doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for them.
As Lori tries to forget about the picture, she hears some of her sisters chattering downstairs. She heads down and sees Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Pearl Krabs, Lola, Lana and Lucy talking about the picture on their smartphones.
Lana Loud: I like this photo of SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary, Lincoln and Leni.
Mr. Krabs: Good Lana!
Lucy Loud: Yeah. A picture this sweet is enough to make me happy, even though I have no heart.
Lori Loud: Aren’t you guys a little jealous that SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln is this kind to Leni, but not to the rest of us?
Lana Loud: I’m pretty sure it’s not a problem.
Lola Loud: I do. A person who is as pretty as me, is hanging out with some slob who like to read comics in their undies.
Lana Loud: Don’t call them a slob, snob!
Mr. Krabs: *notices on the outside* Arrgh, blasted door, not budging! Like a big pink lummox is leaning on it or something?
Pearl Krabs: Try banging it down.
Mr. Krabs: No, but I can kick it down!
Pearl Krabs: But I just said that ...oh never mind, old people are losers.
The twins begin to fight, causing Lori to groan in exasperation. Around 5 PM, SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary, Lincoln and Leni decide to call it a day and leave the mall with bags in their hands.
SpongeBob SquarePants: That was fun!
Lincoln Loud: I will admit, I had fun spending time with you, Leni.
Leni Loud: Thanks. Usually, I invite Lori and Squidward to come with me, but I didn’t invite them because they’ll probably spend their entire day talking to Bobby.
Lincoln Loud: I thought you didn’t invite them because of how badly they treat us.
Patrick Star: What did they do?
Leni Loud: There’s that too.
The three jumped into the car and began to drive back home. Another ten minutes later, the three arrive back home. They get out of the car, enter the house, and sit down on the couch to check out the things they bought. Lori and Squidward arrive. Mr. Krabs and Pearl walk in, Patrick wakes up and gets out underneath. Mr. Krabs arrives in the Kitchen just in time to see the tacos and everything else ready on the dinner table, Patrick and Leni sit down and licks his lips and tongue. Gary is dressed formally, same for SpongeBob and Lincoln.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Table for two?
Mr. Krabs: Spongebob? Why you talking funny?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Just want to cater a nice meal to my special boss!
Mr. Krabs: Hmmmmm…
Now Krabs smiles and sits down. Spongebob and Pearl do the same.
SpongeBob SquarePants: How are you Pearl?
Pearl Krabs: Fine, I guess, what's it to you?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Just wondering.. :)
Lincoln Loud: Whoever wonder--
Patrick Star: CAN WE EAT NOW?! MY TUMMY IS TUMBLING!
Pearl Krabs: You mean rumbling?
Patrick Star: I DON’T LIKE ENGLISH CLASS!
Leni Loud: Patrick, calm it down, well, let's eat.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Right.
SpongeBob and Lincoln, due to being on a diet, eats some lettuce and so does Pearl Krabs, who is a vegan. Mr. Krabs munches on a taco happily knowing it is free and Patrick is sucking in 35% of the rest of the meal into his mouth like a vacuum cleaner. Gary chews on seaweed beef stew.
5:30 PM.
Lori Loud: *feigning sweetness* Hey, guys. How was the mall?
Leni Loud: It was amazing. I learned SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln have forgiven me for all the bad things I did to them.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah, right. This is all in the past years.
Lincoln Loud: That’s right. It’s all in the past, and I told her that you can’t let those bad memories take over.
Leni Loud: *pulls out a specific dress from one of my bags*
Lori Loud: I thought you didn’t like that dress.
Squidward Tentacles: Leni, why didn't you invite us?
Leni Loud: Lincoln said that I looked good in it. I guess this shows that second tries can really change your mind.
Lori leaves in disgust, clearly showing that she is jealous of their very close bond. Lana and Lucy see this from the dining room, and look at each other in concern.
Lana Loud: I know they’re relationship is very strong, but I can’t be that jealous, right?
Lucy Loud: That depends. Do you want to spend time with SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln?
Pearl Krabs: Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.
Mr. Krabs: Hey Pearl, coming along with us.
Lana Loud: Maybe when they have time. They look so cute together, I don’t want to separate them at the moment.
Lucy Loud: True.
Lola Loud: *enters the living room* Watcha guys buy?
Leni Loud: Some new dresses.
Lincoln Loud: Some new action figures.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Some new Mermaid Man action figure.
Patrick Star: Some new Barnacle Boy action figure.
Lola Loud: Oh, that’s nice.
Leni Loud: *tries on one of the dresses I bought*
Lola couldn’t help but laugh.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *ticked off* What's so funny?
Lola Loud: Sorry. I think that dress Leni is wearing just doesn’t suit her.
Lincoln Loud: What makes you think she doesn’t look good in it?
Patrick Star: I think she is wearing a dress.
Lola Loud: I know pretty. Thanks to my numerous victories in beauty pageants, I know what pretty is.
Lincoln Loud: Lola, Leni is probably one of the most fashionable sisters I know. You aren’t the only one who has the highest sense of fashion.
Lola Loud: *realizing Lincoln’s statement is true* Touché. *leaves*
Leni Loud: *turns my attention to Lincoln* Thanks for standing up to me, guys.
Lincoln Loud: Anything for you, big sis.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Thanks.
As the five share a hug.
Lana Loud: *looks on* Okay. I do feel a little jealous. But I’m not highly jealous.
Mr. Krabs: Is Lori jealous?
Lucy Loud: It seems Lori is jealous.
Lana Loud: I think Lola is too with Squidward. She considers herself to be the most beautiful, but Leni is as beautiful as her with Patrick. Maybe I’ll spend some time with SpongeBob and Lincoln tomorrow.
Lucy Loud: Good for you.
Yellow Rectangle: Hey.
Mr. Krabs: I must say SpongeBob, I am very impressed, it is almost as good as the Krabby Patty, although not quite.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, I can make it better, uhhh.
Mr. Krabs: No, no, don’t worry lad, it was very delectable! Arrgh! Arrgh!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well said!
Lincoln Loud: It's okay, we'll figure it out!
Mr. Krabs then notices Pearl pacing by the front door, all nervous.
Mr. Krabs: Pearlie, what's wrong?
Pearl Krabs: Turns out that instead of the Gossip Festival, I am invited to a pool party and it starts at 6, in a half hour, the house is 29 minutes away and I am FREAKING OUT!! Can we go already?!
Mr. Krabs: Well SpongeBob and Lincoln, I have to go, cuz, Pearl can’t drive.
Pearl Krabs: Liar!
Mr. Krabs: …..Well see ya, lad.
Lisa Loud: Actually, a Krabby Patty.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Wait!
Mr. Krabs: What?
Pearl Krabs: WHAT?!
SpongeBob SquarePants: You need desert, beverages and all style pampering!
Mr. Krabs: A what?
Pearl Krabs: Catering Dad, but no thanks Spongebob, a pool party that starts in 28 minutes will be more suitable for me.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, I got this free money in the closet and Lincoln.
Mr. Krabs: MONEY?!!!! *runs at the speed of Speedy Gonzales and showers in several piles of money and enjoys myself*
Pearl Krabs: DAD!!!
Lincoln Loud: Well Mr. Krabs, We mean’t that you can take it home with you.
Mr. Krabs: Yippie! But first I must count it all! I need to reach a trillion dollars soon!
Pearl's eye twitches and she approaches her overwhelmed with happiness and greed Dad and reaches into his back pocket grabbing his boat keys.
Mr. Krabs: PEARLIE! GIVE ME BACK MY.. oh, money, money, money!
Lisa Loud: Oh.
Inside Lori and Leni’s room, Squidward, Lori and Lola are pacing around.
Lori Loud: Leni invited SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln instead of us to the mall?
Squidward Tentacles: Yeah, Lori.
Lola Loud: SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln say that Leni is equally or even prettier than me? And even Gary says Meow?
Lori Loud: I want Leni to spend some time with us.
Lola Loud: Me too. I want her to see what I think of pretty.
Pearl runs out to the boat after Mr. Krabs goes back to counting his money. She drives although she bumps into a fire hydrant, a lamppost and Old Man Jenkins in the process.
Old Man Jenkins: I don't want to be a burden...
SpongeBob SquarePants: PEARL! COME BACK!!
Pearl Krabs: SEE YA SPONGEY!
Time card reading “The Next Day”
French Narrator: The next day.
The next day, back at the Loud House, Lincoln wakes up. Lana enters his room.
Lana Loud: Morning, Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: Morning, Lana.
Lana Loud: I saw how much fun you and Leni had yesterday, and thought I could get a taste of that fun.
Lincoln Loud: Sure. Usually, I see you hanging around the pets or getting into a fight with Lola.
Lana Loud: It’s strange. I woke up, and Lola wasn’t in her bed.
Lincoln Loud: Probably went to go practice for an upcoming pageant.
Lana Loud: Typical.
Lincoln Loud: Let me get dressed, eat breakfast, and we’ll go somewhere.
Lana Loud: All right.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Good Morning, Lana and Lincoln. I’ll get you some Krabby Patties.
Patrick Star: Yay, Krabby Patties!
Lana Loud: Sure.
Lincoln gets dressed up, and heads to the kitchen to make himself some scrambled eggs. Five minutes later, he approaches SpongeBob, Patrick and Lana.
Lincoln Loud: Ready?
Lana Loud: You betcha!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Lana Loud: *exits the house*
Lincoln Loud: What do you have in mind?
Lana Loud: Our season passes to Dairyland are still effective. Do you want to use them again?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sure, We heard that they got a new ride. It’s called “The Churning Room”. You lay your back against a wall and you get spun around. The ground below you will lower, but you stay attached to the wall. It’s like a giant washing machine.
Lana Loud: It’s sounds better than The Milk Shaker.
Lincoln Loud: *shudders* I’ll never forget the day I rode that. I got hit with my own vomit.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Good.
Patrick Star: Yeah.
The five begin heading off to the park. At the mall, Leni is taking dresses from their racks and tries them on one at a time. Leni tries on one dress and exits her dressing room to show Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Lori and Lola.
Leni Loud: What do you think?
Lori Loud: Nah.
Squidward Tentacles: Too short.
Lola Loud: Too purple.
Mr. Krabs: Me money.
Leni Loud *looks at a mirror* You’re right. This shade of purple doesn’t look good.
Back at Dairyland, SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Lana are finally going to ride on “The Churning Room”.
Lincoln Loud: Ready to see yourself float?
Lana Loud: You know I am. But I am a bit nervous.
Lincoln Loud: Don’t worry, little sis. I’ll be right next to you.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I’m ready. I’ll sit next to you guys.
Patrick Star: Yay, I love being purple!
Lana hugs SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln tightly, and the four enter the room. They lean against the wall, as well as several other people. Once there are enough people in the ride, the attendant closes the door, and the operator starts the ride. The wall begins moving. Within seconds, the wall begins spinning at a really fast pace. When the wall spins at the proper speed, the operator hits a button that causes the floor below to lower. However, the people are still sticking onto the wall. The wall is spinning so fast, SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Lana are unable to talk due to the centrifugal force pushing on them. After three minutes, the wall begins slowing down and the floor rises up. Within moments, the ride stops.
Lincoln Loud: Whoa! I feel dizzy. Did you enjoy the ride, SpongeBob, Patrick and Lana?
Lincoln, SpongeBob and Patrick look down at Lana, and notices that her body is limp. Lincoln SpongeBob and Patrick, in a state of fear, shakes her body, but no response occurs. Lincoln, SpongeBob and Patrick place their hands on Lana’s chest, and feel a heartbeat. Lincoln, SpongeBob and Patrick realize that Lana passed out.
Lincoln Loud: *to SpongeBob and Patrick* She’s passed out. We need to take her home!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah! Let’s take her home.
Patrick Star: Yay!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star and Lincoln Loud: *grabs Lana’s body and dashes out of the park to head back home*
Back at the mall, Leni is purchasing her clothes.
Cashier: That will be $80.
Leni Loud: But, I only have $45. My sisters told me that there was another big blowout sale today.
Cashier: Ma’am, that sale only happened yesterday. You’ll have to wait until this upcoming Saturday for our next sale. So, it’s one or the other. Take your pick. And choose quickly, you might hold up the line.
Leni sadly chooses one dress to buy, and puts the other one away. She, along with Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Lori and Lola exit the mall.
Leni Loud: How could you girls lie to me?
Squidward Tentacles: It wasn’t me.
Lori Loud: Because we literally wanted to spend some time with you.
Lola Loud: Me too.
Mr. Krabs: *cries*
Leni Loud: Why though?
Lori Loud: We saw how much fun you, SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln had yesterday, we felt a little jealous of your close bond.
Squidward Tentacles: Leni, We wanted to spend some time with you because you’re the kindest person in the family.
Leni Loud: I asked SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary and Lincoln to come with me because they’ll always be there for us, at least when they’re around. There’s this one term I’ve heard of, but I can’t remember what it was. I wonder what they’re up to now.
SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln arrive back home, kick the door open and place the unconscious Lana on the couch. SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln run upstairs and barge into Lisa and Lily’s room to grab a resuscitation pump. He runs back downstairs and places the pump on Lana’s mouth, where they begin to pump air into Lana’s body. The others witness this, and surround the couch to watch SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln revive Lana. At that moment, the car drives up the driveway. Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Lori, Leni and Lola walk in and notice the sisters surrounding the couch. They walk up to them.
Squidward Tentacles: I think we’re here.
Lori Loud: What’s going on?
Luna Loud: I think SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln are trying to revive Lana.
As SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln continue to pump air into Lana, she slowly opens her eyes halfway and coughs weakly.
Lana Loud: What… what happened?
Lincoln Loud: Shh...shh… catch your breath first.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Don’t worry Lana, everything’s gonna be okay.
Lana slowly and steadily begins breathing again. She sits back up.
Lana Loud: *rubs my head* Oh… what happened?
SpongeBob SquarePants: You, Patrick, Lincoln and I were riding a ride, and you passed out. Luckily, we were there for you. When we noticed you passed out, we immediately rushed us back here to help you.
Lana is touched by their gratitude that she hugs SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln tightly.
Others: Aww!
Lori Loud: I will admit, that was really nice of you, little brother.
Squidward Tentacles: See, she likes you.
Lola Loud: Yeah. I guess this means that you do care about your siblings.
Mr. Krabs: Don't worry me money, You sleep in my house.
Lincoln Loud: Of course I do. There’s a term for this type of kindness. It’s called “a heart of gold”.
Leni Loud: That’s it! It’s a heart of gold. That perfectly describes you.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yes, Love is to be friends.
Lincoln Loud: I have to ask you, were you planning on hanging out with us again today?
Leni Loud: Yeah. Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Lori and Lola wanted me to spend time with them because they were jealous of our close bond.
Lincoln Loud: We do have a pretty close bond, and I feel like we’re perfect for it.
Lana Loud: To be honest, I felt a little jealous too. You had so much fun, I wanted to join in on the excitement.
Patrick Star: I'm exhausted.
Lincoln Loud: Well, you wouldn’t need to worry about that. There’s plenty of SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln for the two of you.
Leni and Lana Loud: Aww!
As the two hug SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln in happiness, the others, touched at SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln’s caring nature towards the two, rub SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln’s head and give them loving remarks as they leave to give the five some alone time.
Lori Loud: I admit, those three look adorable together.
Lola Loud: Yeah. We should leave them alone at the moment. I’m pretty sure they want to bond together right now.
Lori Loud: Yeah.
Squidward Tentacles: Fah.
Mr. Krabs: Okay.
As Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Lori and Lola leave.
Later, in SpongeBob's House, SpongeBob, Lincoln, Leni and Lana begin to panic and then sees Patrick going upstairs to the roof as night begins to fall. SpongeBob, Lincoln, Leni and Lana follow and sees Patrick plugging his boombox into a receiver.
Lincoln Loud: Huh?!
Lana Loud: Wait.
Leni Loud: Patrick, what are you doing?
SpongeBob SquarePants: PATRICK, DON’T!
Patrick Star: AAH, AAH, WHO SAID THAT, SHIN NOODLES!!!
Patrick's hands play the most irritating song ever in reaction to being fear stricken, the song is, “Twinkle Twinkle Patrick Star.”
The boombox volume is maxed up to as loud as possible. The annoying song begins sending shockwaves sending SpongeBob, Lincoln, Leni and Lana off the roof, some money to topple over Mr. Krabs and Blue and Patrick falls through the roof and crashes through three floors before landing into Spongebob's living room, of which he munches on a cookie pillow. Gary puts on headphones and sleeps like usual.
The shockwaves go through the whole town annoying all of the denizens, but not to the extent of Squidward.
Squidward is taking a bath and can't stand the sound of the song.
Squidward Tentacles: MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!
Squidward then looks out of his window and realizes that the irritating music is coming from SpongeBob's house.
Patrick Star: SPONGEBOB, LINCOLN, LANA AND LENI! I JUST GOT FREE TICKETS TO FOOD PALACE!!! AND…
Patrick then notices SpongeBob trying to destroy his boombox.
Leni Loud: *gasps*
Lana Loud: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, uh, sup dude!
Patrick Star: Nobody destroys my Music box! *charges toward SpongeBob, Lincoln, Leni, Lana and the five rough it out*
Mr. Krabs can't focus on counting his money.
Mr. Krabs: TURN THIS INFERNO MUSIC OFF!!
Squidward Tentacles: *takes the sledgehammer and door off my face and angrily grabs out a rock and throws it destroying Patrick's boombox and putting an end to the torture*
Patrick Star: AAUHGGHHHGHH!!!!
Squidward Tentacles: NOW TIME FOR REAL MUSIC! *takes out his clarinet and blows several wrong notes while screeching into the pipe hole which is even worse than Twinkle.
Patrick Star: *faints due to the terrible sound and so do many other denizens*
Mr. Krabs: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Squidward Tentacles: *continues The even worser music for a couple of moments before Mr. Krabs uses one claw to snap Squid's blue mouth shut and uses my other claw to snap the clarinet in half.
Krabs finally relents off of Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: MY BABY GIRL!!! *cries and now looks pathetic*
Patrick Star: *regains consciousness and begins parading down the street yelling* “TWINKLE, TWINKLE, PATRICK STAR!”
Blue Rectangle: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
Like a huge lunatic.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Mr. Krabs, Blue Rectangle, Lincoln and Lisa Loud: *walks back into the pineapple just in time to see Gary waking up and turning the news on to see a bulletin on Pearl*
Johnny Elaine: This just in, to add on to the newly dubbed Chaos Night tonight, with terrible music and fights, we just got word, that a teenage whale with a very arrogant attitude has crashed into a rich mogul's house while on her way to a pool party.
Lincoln Loud: Oh no! *faints*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh no!
Mr. Krabs: My boat!
Squilliam Fancyson: My house!
Pearl Krabs: *realizes time has run out* My Invitation!
Squidward Tentacles: My Clarinet!
Lori Loud: My Phone!
Leni Loud: Mine too!
Lana Loud: My plunger!
Lisa Loud: My Science Experiments!
Blue Rectangle: Mine either!
He continues weeping.
Patrick has the same Brown cloth his prehistoric counterpart worn while waving around his pants. Patrick also is wearing dirt on his face.
Patrick Star: MY MUSIC BOX!!!!!
Patrick then sees a radio station and smiles. He takes out a spare disk of a louder version of Twinkle and plays it even louder. This vaporizes the rest of the denizens and melts the city buildings. The loud sound waves reach Conch ST where all four houses of Patrick, Squidward, SpongeBob and The Loud House crumble to the ground. Mr. Krabs manages to escape a falling piece of wood that almost hit his toenails.
Mr. Krabs: Oh phew! 
But Then.
Mr. Krabs: Oh wait, NO, ME MONEY INSIDE! *dive bombs into the wreckage that remains of SpongeBob's house while Lincoln, Lori, Lola, SpongeBob, Gary and Squidward watch, emerges with just a penny and tries to keep a good head* See guys! I managed to get a penny! Now.. is somebody chewing on potato chips?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Negatory.
Squidward Tentacles: No.
Lori Loud: No way.
Lola Loud: YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR YOURSELF!
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Mr. Krabs looks down and then realizes that it is his toenails cracking, they break revealing the old crusty and Aged nails and fungus again. SpongeBob and Lincoln smell it from afar and his nose disappears and he faints, Squidward, Lori and Lola grab their mouth trying to hold in his vomit and run to their wrecked house to find the bathroom remains. Gary slithers away slowly in the backwards direction and slithers onto a bus and goes on Vacation.
Mr. Krabs almost cries but gets a grip and angrily grabs SpongeBob and Lincoln after Sponge grew back his nose. After administrating “Shower In A Can” to the aged nails, Krabs pins SpongeBob and Lincoln against a rock and screams at him. Then angrily says.
Mr. Krabs: Now, this is personal!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ah, uh, oh, um, uh..
Lincoln Loud: Wasn't me.
Mr. Krabs: Not only will you say goodbye to ye golden star chart but you will also lose ye Spatuler, Position, Squidward, Lori AND!!...
SpongeBob SquarePants: We are so sorry!!! We just went out of my way to impress you with this dinner!! It wasn't supposed to end up like this!! Please fire us!! We are frauds!!!
Mr. Krabs: *continues to growl but then stops and releases a weeping SpongeBob and Lincoln from their tight grip* *puzzled* Is.. Is that true?
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *nods while continuing to sniffle*
Mr. Krabs: *kneels down to the ground* Oh uh lad, I didn't realize this. You guys wanted to impress me even under the risk that I would lose me toenails in the process?
SpongeBob SquarePants: y y y yessss…
Lincoln Loud: Me too.
Mr. Krabs: *smiles while tearing up and hugs SpongeBob and Lincoln, who is surprised* You don't need to impress me SpongeBob and Lincoln, you guys were fine as is, well for the most part. I'm still not happy that me new toenails are gone but I still got one thing that a pedicure from a teenage daughter can't bring.
SpongeBob SquarePants: What's that?
Mr. Krabs: You.
Lincoln Loud: What?
SpongeBob and Lincoln sniffle but this time happily and they and their boss hug it out for a couple of moments until calming down. Squidward and Lori finally returns with dried vomit all over their shirt.
Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob and Lincoln look at Squidward and Lori and then glance at each other and giggle getting a funny prank idea after realizing that Squidward was half responsible for the chaos in the first place. Squidward and Lori look confused.
Squidward Tentacles: What?
Lori Loud: This is literally insane.
Mr. Krabs: $5 please!
Squidward Tentacles: WHAT?! Why?!
Mr. Krabs: For not dressing ye finest, don't you know what formal wear is?
Squidward Tentacles: Well, We like to play fancy dress up and..
Lori Loud: Ugh.
Mr. Krabs: *snatches $10 instead from Squid and Lori's Wallet*
Squidward Tentacles: Hey?! You docked 10!
Lori Loud: Mr. Krabs, what are you doing?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, make that 20 for talking back to your commanding officer!
SpongeBob SquarePants: And another 5 for the terrible music!
Lincoln Loud: Please!
Mr. Krabs: Right ye are boys!
Squidward Tentacles: Stay out of this Spongebrat and Bratcoln!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oops, $30 it is!
Squidward Tentacles: UGGGHHHHHH!!!!
Lori Loud: $45?
Mr. Krabs: $45 for saying ugh! This ain't prehistoric times.
The scene cuts to Squidward losing more and more money even for dancing.
Squidward Tentacles: I HATE EVERYBODY!!
At The Loud House.
Lincoln Loud: *grabs the TV remote* You guys want to watch something?
Leni Loud: I think “The Dream Boat” is on.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Cool.
Patrick Star: Let's watch “The Dream Boat”.
Lincoln Loud: I’ll go with that. We can criticize the male contestants again.
Lana Loud: Yeah!
Lincoln Loud: *turns the TV on and “The Dream Boat” appears*
The five watch the show with pleasure.
*It says “THE END” Episode ends*
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