Jella & Raleigh: A Bad Feeling About This

Over the past little while, Jella had been feeling down for several reasons. Be it her confrontation with Angy and being demeaned by her, her various bad dreams giving her bad omens of a nightmarish future, or experiencing losing consciousness for the first few times lately and it making her feel like less of a hero for being unable to help. Generally, her self esteem has been lower than usual. Her puppy, being empathically connected to her, has been lacking its usual energy too. Instead of wanting to go out and play outside and lead Jella to meeting new people and finding new things, it has recently been content with just laying in Jella’s laps and being pet by it.
While her pet didn’t have all that much to think about apart from its emotional state, Jella’s mind (?) has been full of thoughts and emotions. The vision of the dream she had sometimes plays over and over in her mind. And while, in her imagination, she tries to fix things, not even her own mind can give her any hope that what the dreams showed her isn’t true. Her standing in front of her people, a disappointment to her race who utterly failed in her mission… her being taken away from everything she learned and enjoyed so much and everyone she came to care about… being alone without the things she had to bring her joy…
After the nightmares, Jella had left her room less commonly, unsure of herself and her actions. She sat on her bed, petting her dog, lifting it and letting it lick her… sometimes she’d go around the base for some training or meeting with other team members but not going exploring outside of the base walking or driving much otherwise… and this is where she was now. In her bedroom, sitting on her bed with a soft smile on her face as her puppy had finally gained some semblance of energy and was jumping from her laps onto her chest trying to somehow climb her and she was stroking its back gently petting it.
Raleigh, on the other hand, had been feeling more confident than ever in the past few weeks. They had successfully fought against several powerful foes alongside the team, and generally felt that they had been doing a very good job as a hero overall. They even had a shiny new hero name that they were beginning to try out.
Raleigh did, however, notice that Jella’s demeanor seemed off recently. The usually bubbly personality of hers wasn’t really coming out as much, and she seemed to be leaving the base less often. Raleigh was never good at recognizing other people’s emotions, but in this case it was clear enough to them that something was wrong with Jella. And thus, Raleigh decided they were going to talk to her about it.
Raleigh gently knocked on the door to Jella’s room before pushing the door open anyways.
“Hey Jella! I’ve noticed you’re a bit… down lately. Is everything alright? What’s going on?”
Jella looked up with a bit of a surprised expression. She was happily surprised, of course. Jella had seen Raleigh here and there but hadn’t been on a superhero mission or anything with them in weeks. When Jella’s puppy hears Raleigh they jump off of Jella’s lap and onto the ground, quickly going to Raleigh, trying to climb up their leg unsuccessfully. Jella herself tries to smile a little wider upon hearing Raleigh’s question and nods a little.”
“Raleigh! Hi! Yeah I’ve been…. I’ve…”
But she can’t really bring herself to be dishonest with Raleigh about the way she feels So she sighs and hugs herself, looking down at her legs and talked a little more softly.
“I’ve been a little down. Things happened in the last few weeks with me and now I’m thinking a lot about things and all the thoughts make me feel bad…I’ve been trying to be happy and do things to help me feel better but I can’t distract myself from the bad thoughts…”
Raleigh pauses, taken slightly aback by the concept of Jella being sad. They head forward into the room (stopping to pet the puppy along the way of course), and gently lean against the wall near Jella. They aren’t sure whether or not to make eye contact, but they eventually decide to try.
“I really wish I knew what to say. I know the feeling of being dragged down by my thoughts, and I’m sure a lot of people around here do. So I guess you’re not alone in that regard. It’s a perfectly normal thing to feel bad sometimes. But yeah, let’s talk it out. I’m not good at saying the best things at the right time, but I think it’s better to have someone to talk to than no one. So go ahead. What’s specifically bothering you?”
Jella looks back up at Raleigh and seeing them make eye contact with her, Jella becomes a little nervous and looks away from them, trying to find the words to say. She didn’t really know where to start and what to say for a few seconds.
“Well… a few weeks ago I was trying to figure out this riddle that had to do with numbers called a sudoku. I think it’s Japanese like the anime shows I watch. But then Angy came in and said she had to explain the concept of numbers to me and… and I do know what numbers are but when she said that I just… felt kind of dumb. I feel like I’ve been learning things. A lot of things. But when she said that I felt like maybe what I was learning was wrong…because I just ddin’t know how to solve that… b-but then we went on a hero mission together and she turned into this big dragon… and then when we came back we had a conversation when I tried again and we agreed that she scares me and we aren’t going to get along a-and that’s okay, right? Because judging how much I learn by how many friends I make isn’t good, right? Even though… it helps…”
The image of the nightmare of Jella being taken away from everything on Earth she would ever come to know flashes in her mind again and she gets quiet again. Seeing this, her puppy jumps into her laps, whimpering quietly and lies down on them, sinking into Jella’s laps slightly to comfort itself and her.
Raleigh visibly hesitates, pondering what exactly to say to Jella. After a bit of thinking, they respond.
“First off, there’s going to be a lot of people in this world that don’t understand who you are and what you know. Angy is just one of them. You shouldn’t let her mistakes affect you. And yeah, so maybe you and Angy aren’t going to be friends. Oh well. That’s her loss, not yours. And if Angy does keep giving you trouble, let me know and I’ll have a word with her. You might be a bit afraid of her, but I’m certainly not.”
Raleigh slowly walks from leaning against the wall to sitting next to Jella, reaching out to pet the dog in the process.
“There’s plenty of people out there Jella. Like honestly I didn’t really realize how many people lived in Halcyon until I moved here. And I think just because there’s so many people out there you can’t be friends with all of them. But that’s okay, because you can get along with some, and that’s enough.”
Jella slowly nods, closing her eyes and keeping her head down as she responds
“Y-yeah… I think I understand that now… it’s a shame not humans can be as friendly and helpful to me as you and Reina are… but actually then it got worse.”
Jella stops as she tries to find the way to describe this to Raleigh without worrying them too much and fails to. So she just decides to be honest about her situation. She knows she can trust Raleigh with what she says and hope Raleigh can someone help her or comfort her
“Around a week ago I started having bad dreams. Really bad dreams. And I’m not sure if they’re true or not. I saw myself inside of a castle next to people who looked like me inside of this big castle made of the same thing that I’m made of… sort of. I don’t know how it works. But we were standing there together and there was this one person sitting on a big chair and they looked at me and they were… they looked angry at me.And it made me feel… I don’t know how to describe the feeling but it wasn’t nice and then I woke up and I still felt bad. A-And then I went on this mission with Signe and Randi and Misty and it didn’t go well. I got knocked out. We won in the end but because of my bad dream I felt so tired that I couldn’t go and eat with the others. I just went back to sleep. But when I did I had another dream. A-and it… it was worse.”
Jella pauses again and hugs herself a little tighter
“In that dream… everything I learned about… all the friends I made… all the cool places I got to go to… all the fun I had being here. It all got taken away from me because I had to leave. To go back to my planet. I… I didn’t even get to say if I wanted to like when that guy who looked like me, Mal, came to try and take me away a few days ago. I was just… taken away. I saw Earth from so far away and I just felt sad because I was alone. Everything I learned and everyone I learned about was for nothing…”
It’s almost instinctual, she doesn’t notice that she does it, but Jella brings her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them. Her dog who was on her laps fully sinks into her and a few moments later pops its head above her shoulder, resting it on there and whimpering quietly, nudging its head against hers.
Raleigh gets up and starts pacing the room, once again unsure of how to respond. Eventually, they speak up.
“Those dreams are bullshi-”
They stop themself from finishing the word in front of Jella.
“That’s not going to happen, Jella. First off, they’re just dreams. They aren’t reality. Even if they seem real in the moment, I guarantee that reality won’t play out the way the dreams say it will. And more importantly, you don’t have to leave. If they ask you to leave, you can just say no. If they try to take you against your will, there’s going to be a whole team of superheroes that will do everything in their power to stop you from leaving.”
They make their way back next to Jella, and sit down again.
“Wait, you said that already happened? Some guy named Mal tried to take you back? That’s… that’s… well I’m glad you didn’t go.”
“Y-yeah. He said we were going to go and find more peopleI… I didn’t want to go. I like being here so far and having friends like you and doing so many exciting and fun things that I would’ve never gotten to do on my planet. Maybe. But… I’m worried I was just stopping what’s going to happen even if I don’t like it. Even if I try to fight it. That my people are going to take me back because I did a bad job in my mission. I keep thinking… what if the dreams weren’t just dreams but were trying to show me the future? What does this mean? What should I do? Where should I be? Who should I be around? Am I… am I even here for the right reason? Or for any reason?”
Jella seems to shrink herself a little bit but keeps hugging her knees and avoiding looking at Raleigh. In truth she has her eyes shut. She’s not sure what the feeling she’s feeling is but it’s more sadness than she’s felt before at once now that she’s saying it out loud and she doesn’t know how to react to it but closing in on herself.
Raleigh looks downwards as well, before putting out their hand onto Jella’s shoulder. “Jella. If you’re worried about your purpose for being here, then perhaps you should make up your own. That’s what I’ve done. I moved to Halcyon because I apparently needed a better education. But I have a better purpose now, because it’s one I’ve made up myself. So it’s actually my purpose. My purpose now is to protect all the people and animals around here from all the crazy stuff that happens in the city. That’s not a purpose that I was assigned by anyone - I made it myself. The same goes for you. Whether or not you find out what other people want you to do, it doesn’t matter. Because they have no control over you. So they’re not the ones that decide your reason for being here. That’s your job.”
“As for the dreams, Jella, they’re just dreams. Just stupid dreams that don’t really mean anything. That’s all they are. Now, I want you to think about this next question. You don’t have to tell me the answer if you don’t want to, but I want you to think about it. What do you want your reason for being here to be?”
There is a significant pause between when Raleigh says this and when Jella answers. What she wants was always out of the question when it came to why she was around on Earth. So this question needs her to think very hard about it. Unfortunately, she comes up empty and sighs disappointedly.
“I… I don’t know. I-it’s never mattered, really. I was brought here as a person from my race and I don't know why… I think it was to show humans what we were like and to explore what your planet was and give back information somehow or at some time. A-and I feel like if that’s the mission I need to follow that because if I don’t then… then that dream is gonna come true and I’ll be taken away back to my planet. Away from everything I tried to learn. So I feel like I should make them proud so the dream doesn’t happen, right?”
Yet another long pause before Raleigh speaks.
“Jella, when I was young, back when I was still with the scientists who were running experiments and stuff, I wanted to make them proud by giving them the results they wanted. But I couldn’t. I just never could, no matter how hard I tried. It was only after they gave up on me, and I gave up trying to please them, that I actually figured out how to control my powers.”
“What I’m trying to say here is that you don’t have to make those people proud if that goes against what you yourself want to do. I made a lot of those scientists upset when I broke out, I’m sure. But I’d probably never be anywhere close to where I am now if I didn’t give up on trying to please them. The same goes for you too, I’m sure. Trying to please the people on your original planet when you don’t even know what they want of you is a pointless task. You don’t need to make them proud. And if you’re worried that they’ll try to forcefully take you back to wherever you came from, I’ll make sure that it doesn’t happen. I’m sure Reina will too. The whole team isn’t just going to give up on you like that.”
“Jella, I want you to try to answer the question again. What do you want your reason for being here to be? Because your answer is the only one that matters.”
“I… I…”
Jella stutters and stumbles over herself trying to think of a good answer. It felt like anything anything she’d say wouldn’t be right. Does she want to explore the planet? Well she initially did it because that’s what she thought her people sent her here to do so maybe it’s not what she really wants. But she’s enjoying doing it so maybe she does want to do it anyway? What would she do otherwise? She can only really come to one conclusion. It just makes her less confident she can look at Raleigh in this moment because it’s an answer she’s not very happy to give.
“I… I don’t know, Raleigh… I don’t know if I have a reason that I can really give myself for being here… I’m here to do what my people want me to do. I don’t know what that is but I think it’s to explore things and learn about Earth. I’m okay with that. I learned a lot of things I thought were really cool, I’ve done a lot of things that were fun, I got some nice and helpful friends, like you for example. If doing what my people want me to do lets those things happen that’s okay for me. But I don’t know that that’s what I want my purpose on Earth to be… sorry I couldn’t answer your question well…”
“Exploring and learning sounds like a good purpose to me. If it’s something you want to do, then that can be your purpose. But if you want it to be something else, then it doesn’t have to be that. It took me a while to figure out a good purpose for myself. I’m sure it’s true for everyone. So don’t be sorry you don’t have an answer. Just promise that you’ll think about the question a bit.”
Raleigh gets up and stretches a bit, giving Jella a little more time to think to herself. Raleigh then adds,
“The big point I was trying to make is that your purpose doesn’t have to be what you were sent here to do. Especially if whatever that thing is is something you don’t want to do. They don’t control you, after all. And they won’t be able to.”
They sit down again, this time leaning in towards Jella slightly. They once again put their hand on her shoulder, and say,
“I really hope you understand what I’m saying here. I’m not good with words. But I’ve thought about my purpose a lot, and I know you have too. So I’m here to help you with that. I just wish I could help more.”
Jella sits there for a few moments besides Raleigh before she hesitantly wraps her arms around them gently in a hug. Leaning against them for a few seconds silently before she speaks again.
“You’re helping me a lot. Thank you. It’s very nice of you.”
She keeps hugging Raleigh for a few moments before she lets go. She puts her hands on the edges of the bed and lets her legs dangle off the edge of them as she looks down
“Yeah. thanks. I… I don’t exactly know what I want my purpose to be right now. I only really know that understand what I want my reason to be on Earth is what I think my people told me to do which I’m not even sure is real so it might be I told myself to explore and don’t even know it. And I feel like I should do it because otherwise I’ll be very confused because I won’t know what I’m supposed to be doing here. But I’ll definitely keep your advice in mind. It’s helpful.”
Finally, Jella looks up at Raleigh with a small smile
“And even though you say you’re no good with words but you’ve definitely given me some really good advice in the time I’ve been here. Much better advice than I could give if I was you. You should think better about yourself. You’re cool.”
Raleigh’s face gets a bit redder as they are flustered by Jella’s words. Eventually they manage to stammer out, “I… I’m… I’m glad I c-could help. That’s what friends are for.”
They get up off the bed and smile back at Jella. “Let’s go do something else. Do you wanna go to the park or something? Or maybe we can go to the actual woods outside Halcyon. That’d be nice. There’s lots of cool things I can show you out there.”
Jella slowly nods at Raleigh and smiles a little wider. She feels a little better now that she’s said her feelings out loud. Is this how it usually is with humans? Does saying the way you feel out loud to someone help? Maybe it depends on the person… regardless, this is good to know for the future. Jella can trust Raleigh with the way she feels.
“Yeah. The woods is a nice and quiet place and I’m sure you know a lot about it.”
Jella’s dog comes out from her body and sits on Jella’s laps looking up at Raleigh excitedly with the prospect of going outside to play now that it’s in a less somber mood. As it does, Jella’s eyes widen as she remembers something.
“Oh! That reminds me of something I wanted to show you, I hope you like it.”
Jella signals to the dog and it runs across the room. Despite its diminutive size it opens a drawer next to Jella’s bed and when it comes back to Raleigh, it drops from its mouth the prototype of the Jella toy Signe’s manager had made. After a moment Jella speaks again. Her voice is slow and a mixture of excited and nervous.
“Well.. what do you think of it…?”
Raleigh blinks and stares at the toy. After examining it briefly, they let out a small chuckle.
“It’s cool. I have to say I was a bit against the idea of someone making toys that look like you, but you seem to want it to happen, and so I’m not going to stop it. We just had a big conversation about how what you want matters, and that’s still true when it comes to this. Just make sure you’re getting paid well by whoever’s making these.”
Jella’s dog runs around the two teens and then settles in front of Jella as if to ask if she’s proud of it. Jella smiles and rubs it’s head. It closes its eye excitedly and leans forward a little to get more pets.
“Hmm… maybe this will be popular and then people will want to know who I am. And if people are curious about who I am it gives me more of an opportunity to make new friends outside of Big Team… Signe is popular and she is the one who made this so maybe… could I ask why you didn’t like the idea?”
Raleigh, greatly distracted by the dog, takes a while to respond.
“Uh… I guess I don’t understand the appeal of having my face everywhere. It’s kinda weird, y’know? And so I wasn’t sure if it’d be something you really wanted when you first got the idea, since it’s something I wouldn’t want at all. But you seem to actually want it, so I shouldn’t stop you.”
“I guess the other thing is I don’t want whoever is making those toys to make you seem like someone you’re not. Because then you might feel like you have to live up to that image, even if you don’t want to. And that wouldn’t be good either. So make sure those toys aren’t making you seem like something you’re not. I’m sure Signe will help you with that part better than I could.”
“Signe’s a nice person to me. We had an… interesting conversation after my mission where I met Mal. She thinks I’m dating someone but I don’t even know how it feels. I need to watch anime again to see what that feels like… but anyways, she’s nice and I think she can make sure my toys look like me enough.”
Jella keeps petting her puppy. Her eyes go to the toy which is still with Raleigh and then looks up at them
“Do you wanna keep it? It’s just a prototype of the toy so if not I understand. Maybe I can give you one when the full thing is finished. But if you wanted to keep this version I would let you. You seemed to like it.”
Raleigh takes the toy and weighs it in their hand.
“Sure. It looks nice. Definitely not as cool as the actual you though. And definitely not as… gelatinous either,” Raleigh responds, gently pressing their hand on the toy as if trying pass it through. “But they did a surprisingly good job with this. Hopefully they don’t change it too much between this version and whatever they end up selling.”
They begin to leave the room once more before doing a double-take.
“Wait, Signe thinks you’re dating someone? Who?”
Jella shrugs looking up at Raleigh nonchalantly.
“I don’t know. Signe didn’t say. She just asked ‘aren’t you a thing with y’know…’ and said if she told me it would make things awkward. I don’t even know how it would feel to want to date someone. The most I feel is… well, the happiness I get from being around my best friends like you. It’s fun when you teach me things and we hang out. Even if my car makes you sick… anyway, I need to see those yuri animes again to see what it feels like to have those feelings. It must be the way to find out!”
Jella chuckles, understanding it’s a little ridiculous but really having no other choice in her mind. She sighs and pushes a bit of her slimy hair behind her ear, cocks her head to the side a little curiously and continues as a thought suddenly comes to her.
“Why do you ask?”
“Uh… It just seemed a little surprising I guess? Not like because you’re not datable or anything, it’d just be a bit strange to date someone who isn’t from this planet. I guess it doesn’t matter since you’re not actually dating anyone. I wonder who Signe thought it was though…”
Raleigh thinks deeply, somehow missing the obvious answer.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s irrelevant. She was probably just confused or something. Weird. Well, if you ever do want to date someone, don’t be afraid to just ask them! It might make you anxious at first, but there’s no use just waiting around for something else to happen. That’s my advice.”
“Well, I’m off for now. Have fun watching the anime!”
Raleigh heads out the door, then immediately stops. They make their way back into Jella’s room once more.
“Actually, mind if I join you in watching?”
Jella stands up to go and get her dog and then when Raleigh comes back she sits on her bed again, caught off guard a little by Raleigh’s request.
“Oh… I thought we were going to the woods. I don’t really mind if you want to stay and watch yuri anime so I can learn what it’s like to want to date someone. I’ll probably need to do something so my dog can play. Speaking of which, I should probably name it… but yes. If you want to stay, I can get the laptop that I got given and we can watch anime together. That sounds fun.
Jella logs into her laptop and start to look up an anime site she is she is signed up to. As she does she looks up at Raleigh.
“Have you ever dated anyone? Do you know what it feels like to want to?”
“Oh no I haven’t. I only moved here like a year ago and before that I didn’t really meet all that many people. I don’t know what it feels like to want to date someone either, I think. I’ll probably know when it happens, I think.”
“Anyways, I’m down to go to the woods or watch anime, whatever you want to do. I just think you need someone to keep you company at the moment, and so I’m going to do that. It’s up to you to decide what we do.”
“I think… uh… let’s stay inside and watch anime together for a bit and then we can go to the woods afterwards. I know you like the woods and we’d probably spend less time there but also I do need to figure things out from these shows and having the opinion of someone I like and I trust would be nice.”
Jella gets a show started up and as the intro music plays, Jella moves sideways a little to make space for Raleigh to sit beside her. As she does, Jella sees her puppy curl up in her laps and fall asleep with a soft hum and looks to Raleigh for what they’re going to do.
“Yeah, that sounds nice. We can do both. I don’t mind if we spend a little less time in the woods, since we’ll still be doing stuff together.”
Category:Scenes