Wrapping Things Up 2

__TOC__
==Chapter 1 - Conspiracy==
Astra stood inside of her old cabin. Without Kuipter, she has gotten quite a bit lonely. She didn't care, though. She was glad that bastard was dead. Especially after he betrayed her like that. It was a good thing that fool Revelian let her live. However, now was not the time to boast. Now was the time to prepare. She used some of her magic in order to contact someone. An old, gruffled voice answered her.
???: Astra, is that you?
Astra: Yeah, it's me.
???: Hm. I'd expected your sister to have killed you by this point.
Astra: I won't die that easily, geezer.
???: Huh. You've proved me wrong so far. Oh, well. As you may know, my retirement is coming up... And you still haven't taken care of your sister. Do you not want to rule Pragma?
Astra: What the hell do you think I've been doing, geezer?
???: Instead of killing her when you had the chance, you fucked around with her and had sex with her every fucking week. So you tell me. What the hell have you been doing?
Astra: I didn't get any chance to do so, damnit. I was trying to keep a facade going.
???: Now that it's gone, why the hell haven't you done anything now?!
Astra: You know, geezer, I have my own kid to worry about...
???: Is it a failure like your first one?
Astra: Don't call her a failure... It wasn't her fault, damnit.
???: No fucking matter. She wasn't born an alicorn, and as such, she isn't a part of the royal family.
Astra: That still doesn't mean I had to give her away, damnit... At least I still have a standing relationship with her today... Although she doesn't trust me anymore because of your fucking antics.
???: YOU'RE the one who wanted to rule Pragma when I step down... So shut your fucking mouth if you still want to. If not, I'll hang up and keep ruling it. I'd rather not, but if I have to, I will.
Astra sighs for a bit.
???: Now, then. Your task is to get the Royauté Amulet from my daughter. Her mother has foolishly given it to her.
Astra: It's as I've said... My sister isn't the brightest bulb in the set. I'm surprised you still had that one time with her, geezer.
???: Oh, shut your fucking mouth, you smart-ass cunt. Get the amulet and kill your sister. Then the throne is yours. Understand?
Astra doesn't say anything.
???: I'll assume you mean yes. Don't disappoint me...
The connection ends. Astra simply sighs once. She teleports away.
==Chapter 2 - Investigation==
Revelian and Umbra stand in front of a table. Sitting on the table is the small stone discovered under the frozen lake. Umbra quietly reads the message the Power Scanner had located inside of the stone.
Umbra: An... upgrade?? That doesn't sound right...
Revelian: Think we should get rid of it? It might be a trap.
Umbra: ...I honestly don't know... The power scanner didn't detect anything nasty, did it?
Revelian: No, but... Astra can move in mysterious ways sometimes...
Umbra: True... I'm not sure. We shouldn't mess with it right now. Besides, I think this was just a message stone anyways. The actual "upgrade" is in that giant stone in the cavern. And that's blocked by some force field...
Revelian: Think Astra's generating that force field?
Umbra: Who else?
Revelian: Alright, then, I guess we'll-
Suddenly, Umbra's cell phone rings. She pulls it out and looks at it.
Umbra: Cadance?? What could she want?
Revelian: Not sure...
Umbra answers it.
Umbra: Hello??
Cadance: L-Umbra?! Listen, I need your help!! Something's gone horribly wrong! Astra, she's-
The connection suddeny fails.
Umbra: Cadance?? CADANCE!! Revelian, we've gotta go!!
Revelian: What what what's going on?!
Umbra: Astra!! She's... I don't know!! The connection suddenly failed! Come on!!
Revelian: Right!!
They both head off.
Meanwhile, at Cadance's home...
Cadance kneels before Shining Armor's body, crying furiously. He was shot in the stomach by Astra, and was bleeding out. Astra, with two guards by her side, walked towards Cadance's sobbing form.
Cadance: S-Shining Armor... Why would you do this!?
Cadance could barely talk through her crying.
Astra: He was in my way... Now, then. I'll be taking this amulet...
Astra reached over and tore Cadance's necklace off of her neck. She took a large gem off of the chain and inspected it. The stone was shaped like a talon, and was shone a deep red.
Astra: There we go... Back with it's rightful owner. But... I'm not through with you yet... You see, you'll be in my way if I let you go... And what do I do to things that are in my way?
Astra pointed her 357 Magnum at Cadance's head.
Cadance: N-No... Please... don't...!!
Astra ignored her and fired a shot, killing her instantly.
Astra: Let's go.
Astra teleports herself and the two guards out.
A little bit later...
Revelian beats on Cadance's door. No one answers.
Revelian: Is anyone home??
Revelian listens carefully. He hears what sounds like groaning.
Revelian: Hello?? I'm opening the door!
Umbra: JUST DO IT!!
Revelian kicks the door open. Umbra gasps at the sight.
Umbra: C-Cadance!!
She runs over to her and falls onto her knees.
Umbra: W-What happened...
Shining Armor groans again. Revelian runs to him.
SA: U-uhh... Astra... she came... shot me in the stomach... stole some amulet... rrgh...
Shining Armor goes limp.
Umbra: That mother fucker... She killed them both!!
Revelian: Twilight's not gonna be happy about this...
Umbra: YOU DON'T FUCKING SAY?!
Revelian: Hey, relax!
Umbra: Relax?! My fucking daughter is dead, Revelian!! And you tell me to RELAX?! I mean, good God!
Tears started to flow down Umbra's face at this point. Revelian puts a comforting hand on her shouder as she mourns for her daughter.
==Chapter 3 - Broken Funeral==
At a cemetery...
Two caskets slowly lower into the ground. Unfortunately, the funeral was held in the middle of a rainstorm. The gang remains solemn as the caskets are lowered. Twilight was the only one of the Mane 6 to show up. The others were long gone on travels.
Revelian: Shining Armor said something about an amulet... Know anything about it?
Umbra: The only amulet I can think of is an old amulet I gave her on her wedding day... But why would Astra... wait... Oh NO.
Revelian: What?
Umbra: It's... the Royauté amulet...
Revelian: The what??
Umbra: It's a royal heirloom... Astra must have stolen it because of that...
Revelian: But did she need to kill her for it??
Umbra: You know my sister... She's relentless.
Astra: Yes, I am, sister...
The gang looks up. Astra silently floats down.
Astra: Now that I have the amulet, all I need is for you to die... Then the throne is mine...
Revelian: Accursed, power mad bitch!! I give you another chance, and you're already blowing it!
Astra: Oh, shut up and die already... NOW. BEGIN THE ATTACK.
Astra floats off. Suddenly, 3 giant mechanical walkers (NOT SR ONES) come out of the woods!!
Revelian: What the hell?!
The walkers start to unload with their weapons! Several patrons run off in fear. Revelian charges at one of the walkers, dodging bullets, and leaps on its legs, slicing at the knee-area with his sword. Soon, the leg falls off and the walker falls over, exploding.
Zach: GEEZ, Revelian, YOU GETTING SOFT??
Revelian: SHADDUP. YOU WEREN'T FUCKED BY A LIFE-DRAINING SUCCUBUS 4 TIMES IN A ROW, NOW WERE YOU?! I STILL CAN'T EVEN FLY!
Zach: GOOD POINT.
Umbra launches a blast of dark magic at another walker, knocking it backwards. It hits the ground and stops moving.
Umbra: ONE LEFT!! KEEP IT UP!!
The last walker turns and starts to run off.
Astra: Where do you think YOU'RE going?
Walker Pilot: There's no way in hell I'm dying here!!
Astra: Damned straight you are...
Astra fires a blast of energy at the last walker, instantly vaporizing it. She sighs and teleports herself out.
Revelian: What the hell happened to that last one??
Umbra: Who cares?! They're gone, aren't they? Let's take a look at that one that didn't explode...
She storms over to it. A pilot drags himself out of the walker. Umbra grabs the pilot and slams his back against a tree.
Umbra: What the hell were you disrespectful cunts thinking, storming in and ruining this funeral?! Huh!?
Pilot: W-We were just under orders!!
Umbra throws the pilot at the walker and shoots it with another blast of dark magic, destroying the walker and killing the pilot.
Umbra: Let's get out of here...
Meanwhile, in Universe City...
A large skyscraper serves as Astra's new base of operations. Inside of an office room, 3 Pragmans sit at a desk. One of the figures is a tall and muscular. His eyes are a deep red, and his body is jet black. He has violent hair, and wears wicked black armor. One of the other Pragmans is short and somewhat stocky. He wears a black jacket with cyan highlights. His body is colored cyan as well, and he wears glasses. His hair is also completely black. The third figure has tribal carvings all over his body, and wears a large green robe. His eyes are ghostly-looking, and he carries a staff with a skull on top.
Astra kicks open the door, making the short Pragman jump.
??: I-Is there a problem, ma'am??
Astra: Why yes, there is, Gizmo. Your machines failed me.
This makes Gizmo flinch and back up.
Gizmo: O-Oh God...
Astra: I am your god. And I'm not the least bit pleased with you.
The black figure stands up.
??: Come now, Astra, it isn't Gizmo's fault...
Astra: Avalon... You of all people should be quiet. Especially given what I've done for you...
Avalon: Don't think I haven't forgotten... You used the DNA of your late spouse in order to give me even more power... Allowing me to become this godly form... Hahaha... I just don't think you should be picking on Gizzy just because the mission failed...
Gizmo: Damnit, Avalon, don't call me that!!
Avalon grabs Gizmo and gets him in a headlock, making him cry out.
Avalon: Relax, Gizzy, Astra isn't going to do anything to you.
Astra: Not this time, anyways...
Gizmo jerks out of Avalon's headlock. The third figure simply stares, silent. Avalon jerks his head towards him.
Avalon: And what do you have to say, Acolan?
Acolan says nothing.
Astra: SILENCE. All 3 of you, listen up. Gizmo. Hack into Revelian's bank account. Leave him with nothing. Avalon. Take your troops and hunt them down. Bring me both Revelian and my sister's head. Acolan. Continue the drug trade, and keep making us money. Understand??
All 3 of them nod. Astra storms out.
==Chapter 4 - I'm Free Falling==
Umbra and Revelian walk towards their home. Zach, Jast, and Crone all head home, as well. It takes them a bit due to the terrible weather, but they soon arrive and push the door open.
Inside are several large, armor clad soldiers. Their armor is pitched black with red highlights.
Soldier: Hey!! There they are!!
They all draw guns and open fire! Umbra and Revelian dive to cover!
Revelian: Who the hell ARE these guys?!
Umbra: No idea!! That armor doesn't look anything like the ones that Astra's guards wear!! Not even MY guards look like that!!
Revelian: So, we got a plan, or are we just killing all these motherfuckers??
Umbra: That IS my plan.
Revelian: Sounds good to me!
Revelian leaps out of cover and grabs one of the soldiers who tried to advance on their position. He snatches the gun out of his hand and throws it to Umbra. He then spins him around to use him as a human shield.
(Doesn't work. Go fucking figure.)
Umbra starts to pick off the guards as Revelian interrogates the soldier.
Umbra: REVELIAN, NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME FOR THAT!
Umbra gives him cover by picking off the soldiers that rush in.
Revelian: Who the hell are you guys!?
Soldier: Go fuck yourself!!
Revelian: You wanna play, motherfucker?!
Revelian lifts the guard off of his feet and throws him, slamming him into a statue and destroying it.
Umbra: SERIOUSLY?? YOU COULDN'T HAVE KEPT HIM ALIVE ANY LONGER??
Revelian dives back into cover.
Revelian: Why??
Umbra: YOU KNOW, TO FIND OUT WHO THESE GUYS ARE!!?
Revelian: Oh, whatever... Look, let's split up to take these assholes out. You clear out the main area. I'll weed them out of the bedrooms.
Umbra: Why can't YOU take out the ones in the main area??
Revelian: Because I'm still weakened from being fucked by that stupid life-draining slut 4 times in a row!
Umbra: Good point!
Umbra picks off the last soldier and dives out of cover, and heads towards the main area. She kicks the door open...
To see a massive horde of soldiers waiting.
Umbra: ...Umm...
A rocket flies out of the group, blowing up next to her! She goes flying forward and hits the ground. She looks up to see Avalon standing there, grinning and holding a smoking RPG. He stomps on her head once, knocking her out.
Later...
Umbra regains consciousness. She's strapped to a steel chair, that's bolted to the floor. Sitting next to her is Revelian.
Revelian: Hey, sleeping beauty. You decide to wake up?
Umbra: Oh, shut up... Where are we??
Revelian: Dunno. Got the shit kicked out of me by that big asshole...
Umbra: Yeah, I saw him... He looks familiar...
A door on the far end of the room opens up. Avalon walks in.
Avalon: Ah, I see our... guests... have awoken.
Revelian: Yeah, fuck you too, buddy.
Umbra: Wait a second... Avalon?!
Avalon: Oh, you remember me, princess?
Umbra: Yes... I remember me and my sister sending you to Tartarus. Did she go so far as to drag you out?
Avalon: Why, yes... Madame Astra has given me a second chance... And I'm going to take it. She even powered me up using DNA of some guy... Kyper? Something like that??
Revelian: Kuipter?!
Avalon: Oh, yes, that's it! ...How did you know??
Revelian: He and Astra were together at one point. He betrayed her and she killed him as a result. He's my brother.
Avalon: Oh, did I bring up bad memories?
Revelian: No. I hated his guts.
Avalon: Didn't care, anyways... I see you met my soldiers in your castle...
Revelian: Those were your guys?
Avalon: Yes, but clearly, they were no match for you two... What did the Pragmans call you two? Hell's Duo or something?
Suddenly, Astra walks inside.
Astra: Hellbound Couple, Avalon.
Revelian: I like that name...
Astra: You had to leave them alive, didn't you? Why didn't you just KILL THEM like I ordered you to?!
Avalon: I figured you'd want to do it yourself...
Astra: Incompetent buffoon... Finish them off already.
Revelian: CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE THE HELL WE ARE?!
Astra: About 50,000 feet in the air.
Revelian: A fucking plane?! Seriously?!
Astra: Enough. Avalon, finish them off.
Avalon pulls out a pistol and walks towards Umbra, putting the gun to her head. He puts the gun to her head and prepares to fire. Revelian closes his eye, unable to watch.
Revelian opens his eye when he hears a metallic rip. He looks up to see that Umbra had literally ripped the chair off of the floor.
Revelian: God damn!
Umbra charges at Avalon and rams into him, making him stagger back and fall. Astra storms over to her, brandishing a knife. Umbra manages to pull her arms free of the chair, and ducks underneath a vicious slash. She grabs Astra's arm, and with her other hand, grabs Astra's hair. She rams her unicorn horn through Astra's right eye, making her cry out in pain. Umbra kicks her away and grabs the knife.
Avalon: Damnit!!
Avalon gets to his feet and grabs Astra, charging through a door. He climbs into an escape pod with her and jettisons.
Umbra: The bitch got away!
Revelian: Yeah, want to untie me??
Umbra cuts the ropes holding Revelian, and he gets to his feet.
Revelian: Now let's get the hell out of here.
Umbra runs though the door that Avalon charged through. She slams her fist into the wall when she sees that there was only 1 escape pod.
Umbra: Damnit! They took the only pod!
Revelian: Guess we get to go skydiving!!
Suddenly, a guard shows up.
Guard: What the hell's-
He gets cut short when a knife, thrown by Umbra, enters his skull. Umbra picks up his SMG.
Umbra: Shall we?
Revelian: I love you.
She leans over and gives him a quick kiss.
Umbra: I know. Now, let's get the hell out of here.
They both head towards the open escape pod. There's a single parachute nearby.
Umbra: Oh, boy... Only one parachute. I think I can hold you...
Revelian: How??
Umbra: Well, my wings have started to grow back in the year after they were... well, you know.
Revelian: Yeah.
Umbra: So that, combined with this parachute, should allow me to carry you and float to the ground safely. And let's face it, you still can't fly, so...
Revelian: Alright alright, you get the parachute.
Umbra: Thank you.
Suddenly, guards burst in!
Umbra: Time to go, honey!
Umbra kicks Revelian in the rear, sending him through the escape pod!
Revelian: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Umbra: COMING!!
She grabs the parachute and dives after him. She begins to speed towards his falling form, when suddenly, a guard grabs her from behind!
Umbra: Where the fuck did you come from?!
She jabs the guard repeatedly with her elbows. He soon lets go of her, and she takes the opportunity to snatch his SMG. She unloads with both of her SMGs, killing the guard and sending him hurdling away. She looks up to see several more guards diving after her.
Umbra: You've gotta be fucking kidding me!!
(Theme)
The diving guards start to open fire. Umbra uses her wings to "glide" in the air, dodging some of the shots.
Revelian: WHAT'S GOING ON?! ARE YOU GONNA CATCH ME OR WHAT?!
Umbra: GIVE ME A SECOND!!
Umbra starts to pick off the guards whilst falling through the air.
Revelian: WHY ARE YOU SHOOTING?!
Umbra: WE HAVE COMPANY, REVELIAN!!
Revelian: WHAT?! HOW FUCKING CRAZY ARE THESE GUYS?!
Umbra picks off the last guard. She then starts to speed towards Revelian. She catches him and pulls the parachute, popping it out.
Revelian: *Huff huff* I'm not gonna lie... for a second, I didn't think you'd make it in time...
Umbra: Yeah... Things got hairy... Umm...
She sees the plane they were on make a sharp U-turn. It starts to speed towards them!
Revelian: U-Uhh... WHY IS THAT PLANE TURNING AROUND??
Umbra: Umm, Revelian, don't freak out, but... I think that plane's gonna try and ram us.
Revelian: Don't freak out?? Do you have a plan??
Umbra: Yeah! I fly through the windshield, kill the pilot, blow up the plane, and jump out the back again!
Revelian: Y-You mean WE, right??
Umbra: I'll make it up to you tonight, promise!
Umbra suddenly throws Revelian!
Revelian: WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!
Umbra starts to speed towards the plane.
Umbra: What am I thinking??
She smashes through the window and flies through the plane. She shoots an explosive barrel conveniently placed near explosive ordinance. The chain-reaction rips a massive hole on the side of the plane, and it begins to fall, exploding. Umbra flies out the backside of the plane, and dives towards Revelian again. She snatches him out of the air!
Revelian: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, MAN?!
Umbra: Oh, if our roles were swapped, you would have done the same thing!
Revelian: *Sigh* I guess so...
Umbra: Like I said, I'll make it up to you later tonight!
Revelian: You better...
They both float towards the ground and land somewhere near the Mist Grove series.
==Chapter 5 - We ♥ Awkwardness==
Revelian pulls himself off of the ground. He pops his joints, grunting.
Revelian: I'm getting too old for this shit...
Umbra: Oh, come on. I'm, what, over 2,000 years old??
Revelian: Good point...
Revelian checks himself. He pulls out his cellphone.
Revelian: Aha, they didn't take this away!
He opens it up. Umbra peers over at it. She sighs once when she sees Revelian's background, which is a picture of her, naked.
Revelian: Hey. you let me take it.
Umbra: Yeah, yeah. So what are you going to do?
Revelian: Call Zach and Jast. Glad this thing has multiple-chat reception.
Revelian, however, is unable to dial, as the phone rings right afterwards. Guess who??
Revelian: Zach??
Revelian answers it.
Zach: DUDE!! Did you see that airplane fall from the sky?!
Revelian: Yeah, we sort of did that.
Zach: WHAT??
Revelian's phone gets another call. From Jast.
Revelian: Ugh, wait a sec...
Revelian puts Jast on the line.
Jast: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Revelian: SHUT UP I KNOW ABOUT THE PLANE.
Zach: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SORT OF DID THAT?!
Revelian: LONG STORY. WHERE ARE YOU.
Zach: I'm flying over towards the Forest area! My castle's been... well, occupied!
Revelian: By armor-clad Pragmans??
Zach: No! By freaky Pragmans wearing green robes! ...Wait, what??
Jast: My castle's been over-run by... Well... I don't know how else to say this, but... CYBER NINJA PONY ROBOTS.
Revelian: What.
Zach: What do you mean "Armor clad Pragmans", Revelian??
Revelian: My castle's been over-run as well. Hell, me and Umbra got captured!!
Zach: I tried to call you a few times, but you never answered! Is that why?
Revelian: Yeah, that's why. We've been out for a while... Yeah, we were sorta taken to that plane.
Zach: Makes sense.
Jast: But now what?? All of our castle's have been taken over! There's no place for us to go!!
Revelian: Jast, where are you??
Jast: Standing near the Forest area, why??
Revelian: And Zach, you're flying towards the Forest as well, right??
Zach: Yeah.
Revelian: Me and Umbra are standing near the Mist Grove area. We'll make our way to the Forest. I have an idea. Wait... What about Twilight??
Jast: Oh, right, her! She's with me, too.
Twilight: Hi, Revelian!
Revelian: Yeah yeah yeah. I'll call Lazro. Let's hope his place hasn't been taken over by giant alien robots or something asenine like that!
Revelian calls Lazro. Lazro answers, panting. His voice is high pitched, for some reason.
Lazro: U-Uhh... H-Hello??
Revelian: Ummm... Lazro, are you... ok??
Lazro: Y-Y'know, you picked a-a R-REEEAAL BAD TIME T-TO CALL.
Revelian: OH COME ON, DON'T TELL ME I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE ROBOTS.
Lazro: N-N-No, n-no robots... j-just me and... Iala...
Jast: OH GOG.
They all hear what sounds like Iala cooing.
Iala: Who's that, baby?
Lazro: J-Just th...the others...
Iala: Ooh, you mean Revelian and his friends...?? Bring them over... I'm in the mood for a gang-bang... Hehehe... Maybe Umbra's with them... Ooh, tonight just got even more exciting...
Umbra: I HEARD THAT, YOU SLUT.
Lazro: N-NO, NO NO NO I'M NOT DOING THAT.
Revelian: Uhh, yeah, we'll be over... LATER.
Lazro: Y-Y-Yeah, s-seriously, no hurry...
Iala: Aww, you're no fun, Lazro...
Revelian: YEAH BYE.
Revelian hangs up Lazro.
Revelian: Yeah, make your way towards Lazro's house. And seriously, people, NO RUSH.
Zach: YEAH GOT IT.
Revelian and Zach hang up.
Jast: ...Doesn't anyone say goodbye anymore??
Jast hangs up as well.
Revelian and Umbra start to make their way towards Lazro's house.
Meanwhile...
Astra kicks open the door to her office, making Gizmo jump. Acolan does nothing.
Gizmo: M-Ma'am, are you alright??
Astra stomps over and grabs Gizmo by his shirt, pushing her face into his. Her right eye is nothing but a bloody hunk. Blood and tears constantly drip out of it.
Astra: LOOK AT MY EYE. DO I LOOK OK TO YOU?!
Gizmo: Good God!!
Astra throws Gizmo across the room. She then reaches up towards her wounded eye. She clenches her other fist as she tears the wounded eyeball out of her skull. Gizmo pulls himself back onto his feet.
Gizmo: Ugh!! Do we have to sit here and watch you do that?! That's sick!
Astra throws the eyeball at Gizmo, making him wretch and back up.
Gizmo: DAMN!!
Astra walks over to a drawer sitting nearby. She rummages through it, and soon pulls out a black eyepatch. She puts it on to cover her missing eye.
Avalon: ...W-well, what now??
Astra: We buckle down. As you two might have guessed, everything didn't go as planned.
Gizmo: R-Right, so what do you want us to do?
Astra: Hm... I have a plan for you...
At Lazro's house...
Revelian meets up with the others. He knocks on Lazro's door. Lazro opens the door while struggling to put a shirt on.
Lazro: Heyheyheywhassup.
Revelian: Umm... You alright??
Lazro: Yeahjustfinewhataboutyou??
Jast: What's wrong with him?
Revelian: I've seen this before. His libido is giving him strength. Same thing happens to me whenever I have sex with Umbra.
Umbra blushes, slightly embarrassed. The gang soon walks inside.
Jast: I called Sam while we were walking. He'll be here soon.
Revelian: No, keep Sam out of this. He's too young for this stuff.
Jast: He'll be fine! Remember the Corruption Zone??
Revelian: True...
Suddenly, Samuel shows up riding Ecast.
Sam: Hey guys! Why are we all at Lazro's house? And why is he shaking?
Revelian: Long story. I'll explain later.
Twilight: So, now what?? Astra's taken over Revelian, Zachary, and Ludicrine's castles... We're pretty much fighting a lonely battle.
Revelian: Yeah, and I can't get into contact with the Seashore base, either... Wait, Lazro, where's my baby??
Zach: What??
Lazro: She'supstairsasleepwhy??
Revelian: Lazro kept the baby while we were gone.
Zach: Ah.
Lazro: SoyeahIgottheguestbedsready. There's3bedrooms. OneforZach, oneforRevelianandUmbra, andonefor...Umm...
Jast: CAN I SLEEP IN Zach'S BED?
Zach: Sorry, Jast, but Karelia called while I was flying. She'll be here soon.
Jast: So can I sleep next to Sam?
Sam: I'm not staying here!
Jast: ...ohgog...
Twilight: What's that supposed to mean??
Jast: N-Nothing! It's just that-
Revelian: But nothing. Jast, you'll be fine, I promise. You don't have to fuck Crone or anything.
Zach: Revelian, seriously! Language!
Revelian: The fuck you talking about? IF I WANNA MOTHER FUCKING CUSS I'LL MOTHER FUCKING CUSS!!
Jast: -facepalm-
Umbra: Sigh. Let's just go on to bed, Revelian...
Revelian: Yeah, I'm wore out.
Zach: Sigh. Try not to be too noisy, you hear??
Revelian: Yeah yeah.
Sam: ...WHY WAS I BROUGHT OVER AGAIN??
Jast: Because shut up. Let's go on to bed, people.
Sam: ...Do you want me to come over tomorrow, or something??
Jast: Yeah.
Sam: Sigh, alright. Bye.
Samuel leaves. The others all go to bed.
Revelian makes it to the bed first. He lays back on the bed, exhausted. Umbra crawls up next to him.
Revelian: Well, today was interesting, wasn't it? Your daughter and her husband died, our funeral was ruined by giant walkers, we were captured, and we dove out of a plane. Standard stuff, huh?
Umbra: Yeah... I can't believe we're being dragged into another one of these...
Revelian: This'll be the last time. Astra isn't getting off the hook this time. Heads are gonna roll for this.
Umbra: Right... She's gonna pay for killing my daughter...
Revelian: So... Who was her dad, anyways??
Umbra: What??
Revelian: Cadance's dad. The guy you were with before me.
Umbra: Oh, him... He... I don't want to talk about him. Let's just say that I'm glad he's gone. We had a one night stand, and that was it.
Revelian: ...But who was he...??
Umbra: ...Do you want to know why we're still called "Princesses" even though we "rule" Pragma?
Revelian: Yeah, kinda do, actually.
Umbra: We're not the ones pulling the strings. He is.
Revelian: What?? You mean you slept with your dad??
Umbra: No no no!! It's a long story...
Revelian: Well, I've got time.
Umbra: Sigh... Alright. See, me and my sister used to be vagabonds... We were among the very few Alicorns in Pragma. We caught the attention of the king of Pragma... And he made us his princesses.
Revelian: Huh.
Umbra: Astra slept with him, too. Had a kid, but from what I heard, the baby wasn't an alicorn, so it was given away...
Revelian: Know who it is?
Umbra: No... But that's not important now.
Revelian: So what if this guy's the one pulling the strings? What if he's making Astra do this?
Umbra: It wouldn't surprise me... He's a conniving bastard. But right now, I don't care about that...
She suddenly rolls over onto Revelian and gives him a deep kiss.
Umbra: Do you want to know what I care about right now?
Revelian: Enlighten me.
Umbra: You.
She gives him another long, deep kiss...
Meanwhile...
Merynis drags her love-deprived body across the forest. She puts a hand on her stomach. Her stomach has gotten noticably larger- She's pregnant.
Merynis: Food... I've got to... find food... Somewhere... What the hell was I thinking... letting myself get pregnant like that... Now I'm starving... I've got to find... food... for me... for my child...
She continues to sulk across the forest, until she arrives at Lazro's house. She detects love coming from the house. She detects it coming from a window- Revelian and Umbra's room. She sneaks over to the window and hides underneath of it to feed off of the love that Revelian and Umbra emanates.
Merynis relaxes, having obtained the food she needs to survive at least a little longer.
Meanwhile...
Karelia walks through the forest towards Lazro's shack, humming happily. She soon spots the shack.
*VROOM*
Karelia turns her head around to see several dozen sports bikes driving towards her!
Karelia: W-What the...?!
Karelia starts to run towards the shack!
Inside of the shack...
Jast, sleeping next to Crone, jerks his head up when he hears something.
Twilight: Ugh... Get some sleep, will you??
Jast: I... hear something. It sounds like... sports bikes??
Jast stands up and peers outside. He sees Karelia running away from the sports bikes.
Jast: Umm... Guys...?! I THINK WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
Meanwhile, Umbra wakes up as well.
Umbra: Revelian, get up! I think something's wrong!
Revelian: Ghg... but I don't wanna go to school...
Umbra stands up and pulls Revelian off of the bed, making him hit the floor with a loud slam.
Revelian: DAMN!! Ok, ok, I'm up!!
Umbra gets dressed and runs downstairs.
Umbra: What's going on?!
Jast: Karelia, she's-
Zach bursts in as well.
Zach: What's wrong with Karelia?!
Jast: She's being chased by a bunch of bikers! Wait... Those are the guys who attacked my castle!!
Zach: What??
Jast: Yeah, it's those cyber ninja pony robots!
Zach: They're attacking us, too??
Umbra: Seems like it!! Come on, we've got to help Karelia!
Umbra and the others charge outside.
==Chapter 6 - Cyber Ninja Pony Robot==
Merynis, meanwhile, hides in a bush.
The gang storms out.
Revelian: Who the hell are these guys?!
Jast: No idea! Think they're working with Astra??
Revelian: Naw, maybe they're working with Mayor McCheese!
Jast: BLUH.
Karelia soon makes it. The bikers start to circle the cabin. Umbra blasts one's tires out, causing him to spiral out of control and slam into another biker. One biker suddenly swerves towards Revelian, drawing a sword!!
Revelian: Oh, you wanna play like that, don't you??
Revelian ducks under the sword and slams his fist into the biker's stomach, knocking him off of the bike. The bike slams into a tree. Zach and the others also attack the remaining bikers. Since I suck with action scenes, after a bit, they take out all the bikers.
Umbra: Well, that's that, I guess...
Suddenly a helicopter carrying something flies overhead! It drops the object!
Revelian: Watch out, that chopper's dropping something!
A large slot machine hits the ground. It starts to play by itself. It lands on 3 red roses. Suddenly, a laugh is heard and the slot machine starts to shake and spark! A tall Pragman wearing a white shirt, black gloves, black pants, a black cape, and a black top hat leaps out! His skin is a bright grey color, and his eyes are hidden under his hat. A horn pokes through a part of his hat.
Revelian: Who the hell?!
Umbra: Back up! It's the Joker mercenary! I got this asshole!
Revelian: The who??
Umbra leaps forward. The others just stand back and watch. Joker says nothing and pulls out his sword. The sword glows red, and he spins it. Suddenly, several more swords fall from the sky! Umbra dodges one and kicks another, sending it flying towards Joker. He rolls out of the way.
Joker: You're too slow! (SHUT UP)
Umbra rolls in and delivers a kick across Joker's face, knocking him back. Joker suddenly draws his sword and slashes with it! Umbra ducks under the slash and hammers away at Joker with her fists. Joker rolls away to avoid the punishing blows. He suddenly draws 2 revolvers, spins them around, and starts to open fire! Umbra charges away, dodging the bullets. She leaps towards Joker when he runs out of ammo, charging energy into her fist and slamming him with it! Joker lets out a scream and goes flying towards a tree. He bounces off of it, but soon gets to his feet.
Joker: Come on!!
Joker suddenly bursts into coins, vanishing.
Revelian: Did you kill him?? Who the hell was that guy??
Umbra: That was the Joker mercenary. Astra has him at her payroll. He's not dead. He just ran away. This guy may look simple, but as time goes on, he gets more and more attacks.
Revelian: Weird guy. Why the hell does he come out of a slot machine??
Umbra: Fucked if I know.
Meanwhile...
One of the bikers climbs from the wreckage of his bike and runs like mad. He runs towards the bush that Merynis is hiding in. The biker spots Merynis poking her head out. He aims a pistol at her!
Biker: H-Hey!!
Merynis rushes him, slamming her fist into his face. She headbutts him, ramming her horn through a part of his face. She then snatches the gun from him and empties the clip into him, killing him. She stands over the corpse, staring at it for a bit. She raises her head to face a gun pointed right at her. She lets out a gasp and falls back.
Umbra: Don't move, you fucking slut...
Merynis slowly raises her hands. Revelian and the others soon arrive.
Revelian: Oh for fuck's sake, not you again!! ...Why the hell are you so fat?!
Merynis: Take a wild guess...
Umbra: WHAT?! How many guys did you fuck to give you that?!
Merynis only points. Umbra turns around to see that she's pointing at Revelian.
Umbra: You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Merynis: Not at all, dear... He's the only guy I fucked since I've been here... So you're really going to kill the woman who's carrying your husband's child??
Umbra suddenly steps forwards and cocks the gun, making Merynis gasp and crawl back in fear.
Umbra: I FUCKING SHOULD!! ESPECIALLY GIVEN THE SHIT YOU'VE DONE!!
Revelian: Umbra, you can't just go and do THIS!!
Umbra: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, REVELIAN?! LOOK AT WHAT SHE'S DONE! ARE YOU REALLY TELLING ME YOU'RE PLANNING ON LETTING HER GO!?
Revelian: Umbra, knock it off!! You sound just like your fucking sister!! She'd do the same damned thing!
Umbra suddenly stops for a moment to think.
Revelian: Umbra, we can't just kill a pregnant woman! Hell, she has my child, no fucking less! Granted, it was her fault, but you still have to think about it! Hell, she was probably dying before she came here!
Merynis: You're right about that... I was crawling around the woods, near death. If it wasn't for one of you making love to someone else, I probably would have died... Let me hazard a guess... It was you and Revelian, am I right?
Jast: Yyyyep.
Revelian: Listen carefully... I don't fucking like this, but you can't just wander around the wilderness. Especially given that you need love to live. Now, I'm going to make one thing perfectly clear- If you take my trust and shread it, I'll let Umbra do whatever horrible thing she wants.
Umbra: Wait, Revelian, what are you doing...?
Revelian: The only reason I'm even considering this is because you're pregnant. With my child, no less. Now, listen here. You can stay here. But you better stay in line...
Umbra: WHAT?!?
Zach: Oh boy, this won't end well, will it??
Merynis: N-no no no, I promise, I'll stay in line! You won't even know I'm there, I promise!!
Revelian suddenly leans in and gets in her face menacingly.
Revelian: You fucking better.
Revelian stands up and walks off. Umbra quickly runs off after him.
Umbra: REVELIAN!! What the hell are you thinking?!
Revelian: Umbra, I have my reasons.
Umbra: B-But...
Revelian: Umbra, I honestly believe that Merynis won't try anything. Too much is at stake for her.
Umbra: You thought the same thing for my sister. See how well that turned out??
Revelian: ...This time will be different. Unlike Astra, Merynis doesn't have any grand plans. Merynis is just a slut who wants food. Astra has some major ambitions. She wants the throne of Pragma all to herself. Merynis is nothing compared to her. Umbra, please, just trust me.
Umbra: Revelian...
Revelian: Now, come on. Let's get back to bed. I'm wore out...
Revelian and Umbra head inside and go to bed. The others, along with Merynis, follow suite.
==Chapter 7 - A Lonely Battle==
The next morning...
Revelian wakes up. Umbra isn't sitting next to him.
Revelian: Must be downstairs...
He falls out of the bed and walks downstairs. Umbra sits on a couch, polishing her guns.
Revelian: You're up early.
Umbra: Shut up.
Revelian: Hey, now, why you gotta be like that?
Umbra: ...I'm sorry. I'm still a little peeved about last night...
Revelian: Umbra, trust me, Merynis isn't going to try anything.
Umbra: Sigh...
He sits next to her and wraps his arm around her. They soon hear footsteps. They both look up to see Merynis.
Revelian: ...
Merynis: Well, aren't you two up bright and early?
Umbra: What the hell do you want?
Merynis: Don't mind me... I'm just sitting back and feasting on the love...
Revelian: Do it somewhere where we can't see you.
Merynis: Hmph!
She sits down on a couch, ignoring his request. Revelian and Umbra break away from each other.
Merynis: Oh, come on now, I can't eat if you two don't show your love. You don't want me and this poor little baby to die, do you?
Revelian: Don't bargain with your child's life, you sick fuck.
Merynis: Well, there's no other way, now is there? You don't need to actually do it in front of me...
Suddenly, Zach comes downstairs. Karelia comes down with him.
Zach: Oh, boy. We're already starting, aren't we?
Revelian: Shut up,
Merynis: These imbeciles don't seem to grasp that I need love to survive.
Umbra: Oh, shut your smart mouth, you fucking bitch.
==YEP==
We knew this was coming.
==TEH SUMMARY==
Astra is seen talking to someone we don't know. They have a conversation, in which the person orders Astra to get a pendant from his daughter, <<REPLACEME>>. It is also learned that Astra has another child, which she was forced to give up because it wasn't <<REPLACEME-GOOD ENOUGH?>>.
Thus, she heads off and murders both <<REPLACEME>> and <<REPLACEME-THE HUSBAND>>, taking the pendant from them.
Revelian and Umbra both get a call from <<REPLACEME>> before she was murdered. They charge to the scene to find them dead. Umbra points out that the pendant <<REPLACEME>> had was stolen.
During the funeral, Astra appears to taunt them. She then sicks robot walkers on them, but they are quickly defeated. It then shows Astra talking to 3 other Pragmans- A dark, powerful being named <<REPLACEME-ENSEMBLE>>, a geeky techno hacker named <<REPLACEME-PITSNIFFER>>, and a strange voodoo priest named <<REPLACEME-WHO CARES>>. She orders all 3 of them to do different tasks to effectively ruin Revelian and Umbra.
Elsewhere, Revelian and Umbra return home, to discover their house occupied by unknown troops. Soon enough, they are captured by the troops and knocked out. They wake up in a plane flying high in the sky. Astra and <<REPLACEME-ENSEMBLE>> appear to try and kill them, but Umbra breaks free, ramming a horn through Astra's eye. <<REPLACEME-ENSEMBLE>> flees with Astra, and Umbra and Revelian escape the plane, blowing it up.
After they land, Revelian calls up both Zachary and Jast, and learns that they too have had a similar problem. Only they were seeing two different sets of Pragmans in their castles- Green robe-wearing freaks and cyber ninjas, respectively. They call up Lazro and head to his house.
Back at Astra's headquarters, Astra storms in and acts like a bitch again. BIG SURPRISE. She comes up with a plan, and <<REPLACEME-PITSNIFFER>> is tasked with carrying it out.
Back at Lazro's house, Revelian, Umbra, Zach, Jast, and Crone, who was with Zach, head in. They catch Lazro and it's funny because he's funny. Revelian also learns that Solaria, their daughter, is okay. She was staying at Lazro's house because of the funeral. They decide to call up both Samuel and Karelia for help. Afterwards, they head to bed. A pregnant Merynis, who was wandering around dying, smells the love coming from the house (as a result of Umbra and Revelian fucking) and sneaks over to get food she desperately needs.
As Karelia walks to Lazro's house, she is attacked by the same cyber ninjas that invaded Jast's castle. They attack the house, and the gang fends them off, along with a mercenary that Astra hired, named 'Joker'. Afterwards, they discover Merynis near the house. Umbra wants to kill her, but Revelian spares her since she is pregnant with his own child, allowing her to stay with them.
The next morning, after some banter involving Merynis, a completely glitched-up Lazro, and pigeons, Revelian gets a contact from a stallion named <<REPLACEME-HACKERMAN>>, who's a hacker. <<REPLACEME-HACKERMAN>> tells Revelian that he hates <<REPLACEME-PITSNIFFER>>, the leader of the cyber ninjas that attacked them last night. He also tells them about who her leaders are.
<<REPLACEME-ENSEMBLE>> was a dark ruler who went to war with Astra some time ago. Astra banished him to <<REPLACEME-HELL BY ANOTHER NAME>> after defeating him, but brought him back to use as a commander for her forces. <<REPLACEME-PITSNIFFER>> was a professional hacker who managed to single-handedly ruin a massive company in Pragma. He was later discovered and arrested, but, like <<REPLACEME-ENSEMBLE>>, was released to be used as a commander. <<REPLACEME-WHO CARES>> was a dark voodoo priest. He was notorious for sacrificing people to dark gods that didn't exist. He was also a well known drug dealer. (lmao) He was arrested, but like the other two, was released to be used in her army.
Category:Stories
Category:Alpha-Archaic Timeline