Dave

Dave is a sentient entity that possesses four brain cells and lives in a Heaa. He is square-shaped and colored entirely maroon except for small white markings. He does not eat due to it being nearly impossible at his scale, but he absorbs nearby extant matter for the sake of sustenance. As of 8/1/2020, he is the second smallest known non-verse entity, but there is definitely something smaller.
Dave reproduces by binary fission precisely 482 years and 5 days. The next binary fission event is calculated to take place on 9:24 am, June 23rd, 2261 AD. He shrinks with the Heaa he inhabits so that he is not annihilated by the extremely chaotic volumes of Hecks, Heccs, and Hekks. He is capable of speaking Portuguese fluently, but nobody can hear him without extremely powerful and specialized equipment.
Dave's Heaa is very secure because Dave has a gun, and he will shoot any hostiles that enter his Heaa (even if he has to shoot himself to hit them), causing them to "explode." The gun shrinks with Dave so that Dave is able to use it effectively. Any Heaa other than Dave's is completely safe unless Dave's Heaa is passing by and he decides to raid the Heaa in search of bread that he requires.
The oldest Dave sadly passed away after being expelled from his bread acquisition group for spending too much time at the seaside and being associated with a "little gang" of bread hoarders. The next group Dave joined in preparation for his upcoming binary fission had a very strict ban on breathing, starving Dave's four brain cells of oxygen. Entities who knew Dave did not seem surprised or disheartened by the event, often smugly chuckling and mentioning they "always knew" Dave was "a bit weak".
Category:Moai's Pages
Category:Smaller than Heck
Category:Smaller than elementary particles
Category:Cosmic entity
Category:Verse
Category:Navigable
Category:Class -1