Crazysponge dies from the woke mind virus

crazysponge dies from the woke mind virus is the third episode of Season Five of CrazySponge Died: The Series.
==Transcript==
(Episode begins with people at a rally, chanting)
People: BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE!
Bernie: (on a podium) Settle down, folks. I know that you guys are excited to have me as the new president of the United States. But I have some important news to share with you all. I will be releasing… a virus.
(The people murmur in confusion)
Bernie: That's right, a virus. But this… this is the good kind of virus. The kind of virus that the right would call the “woke mind virus”. I have just gotten word that the government has released it into the wild, and soon everyone will be much more content with their lives.
(Everyone cheers, and start chanting “BERNIE” again. Fade to CrazySponge eating his usual pasta at the Cheesecake Factory)
CrazySponge: Damnnnn this is some good shit.
CrazySponge mother: Always, sweetie. Do you want some more?
CrazySponge father: I got this. WAITER!
(The waiter teleports to their table)
CrazySponge father: Give my son some more pasta, pronto!
Waiter: Yes, sir.
(The waiter instantly comes back with more pasta and places it on the table; CrazySponge starts scarfing it down)
CrazySponge mother: Careful, my child, your stomach autism does not like it when you eat quickly like that.
CrazySponge: Pfft, I'll be fine.
(Just then, a stranger nearby starts coughing out in the open. CrazySponge starts to feel nauseous and pukes off-screen)
CrazySponge mother: Oh dear. Honey, are you okay?
CrazySponge: Kill all conservatives.
CrazySponge father: Oh no.
CrazySponge mother: What is it, dear?
CrazySponge father: OUR SON HAS BEEN INFECTED WITH THE WOKE MIND VIRUS!
(Several customers start screaming and running around in circles)
Woman: I can't be infected with the pedo virus! I'm too young to be liberal!
Man: I feel like a woman already! (starts growing tits)
Other woman: I'm pregnant with a gay boy!
Other woman’s girlfriend: WHAT???
Other woman: I swear, I'm a gold star lesbian! It's the WOKE MIND VIRUS’s fault!
Matt Walsh: Don't worry everyone, I know how to handle everything. It's all under control.
Woman: Pedo.
Matt Walsh: Oh no. The woke mob has finally come to cancel me.
(A crowd of people pick up Matt Walsh and throw him out a window)
Matt Walsh: I HATE CANCEL CULTURE!!!
Larry the Lobster: You said it, bro. Want to go talk to some kids on the playground with me?
Matt Walsh: You bet, man!
(They fistbump and scurry along to the nearby playground)
Kid: (off-screen) PEDOPHILES!
Matt Walsh: OH COME ON!
(Cut to CrazySponge, who is suddenly now at a pride parade, holding up a gay flag and screaming “HOOPLA!” along with the other infected people)
CrazySponge: Damn this is so much fun. I sure hope nothing bad happens.
Steven Crowder: (shows up out of nowhere) FREEZE, LIBERALS!
(CrazySponge stops in his tracks, along with everyone else)
Steven Crowder: (sobs) My wife left me because I beat her sometimes, so you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna take it out on ALL OF YOU!
(Everyone screams and starts running away. Steven Crowder starts stabbing people to death with his American flag knife. CrazySponge hides in a dark alley behind a giant Bernie Sanders poster)
CrazySponge: (gasping for air) That was NUTS! Speaking of nuts… 😋. Anyways, I’m gonna die if I don’t get away soon. It’s not safe in this world anymore.
(Just then, he hears some girl screaming, and said girl hides in the same dark alley as CrazySponge)
Girl: Hey.
CrazySponge: Hi.
Girl: What’s up man?
CrazySponge: Not much… dawg.
Girl: (sighs) I guess this is how we die.
CrazySponge: I love you.
Girl: I’m lesbian.
CrazySponge: NOOOOOOOO!
(The girl gets stabbed to death off-screen by Crowder, and the screen goes black as we hear the same happen to CrazySponge. The episode ends)
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