The Last Temptation of Krust/Quotes

:Krusty: So this afternoon, two suits come up to me and ask me to endorse a new sports utility vehicle.
:[Crowd gasps]
:Homer: [shouting] Don't you hate pants?
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:Agnes: Oh you’re burning it all wrong Seymour.
:Principle Skinner: It's my allowance mother; I'll burn it however I want.
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:Bart: I don't get it, Krusty. You said you would never be a shill again!
:Krusty: Me, I learned something about myself today. It ain't comedy that's in my blood. It's selling out.
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:Bart: What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals!
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:[Rod and Todd find Krusty passed out in their backyard and poke him with sticks]
:Todd: Wow, a clown! Do you think he's evil?
:Rod: [sniffs] He smells evil.
:Todd: [sniffs] Should we tell Daddy?
:Rod: No. Let's poke him a little while longer.
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:Homer: Heh heh heh, from now on, I'm gonna be just like Krusty and tell it like it is. Marge, you're getting a little fat around the old thighs!
:Bart: Dad!
:Homer: You too, Bart!
:Marge: Oh, knock it off, Homer; you're the fattest one in the car!
:Homer: [shocked] You didn't have to tell it like it is, Marge!
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:Exec 1: Wow... they're hanging on his every word! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
:Exec 2: I hope so... [puts his hand on his colleague's]
:Exec 1: I thought I made myself clear in Boston.
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:[Marge and Homer enter Moe's]
:Marge: Four drink minimum?
:Homer: I'll cover ya, honey.
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:Krusty: Last night's comedy benefit delivered wall-to-wall laughs without exception... Phew! The only exception was the dated humor of Springfield's green haired, red-nosed hack... [turns pages] Yeah yeah yeah... Krusty the Clown! Ohhhhh...
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:Guy: Five minutes, Krusty.
:Krusty: Oh, I ain't going back out there.
:Guy: No, five minutes to get your stuff and get out!
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:Krusty: Jay, you're a professional comedian, right? Right?? Answer me!
:Jay Leno: Yes! Now, stop squirming. I'm trying to get these tangles out.
:Bart: [speaks in a prissy feminine voice] Oh, they are just impossible.
:[Krusty and Jay Leno stop and stare at Bart weirdly]
:Bart: Well, they are.
es:The Last Temptation of Krust/Frases