Luigi Time

"Luigi Time" is an episode of The Game of Life.
==Plot==
OK so I wanted to play with the Nintendo household last time but I didn’t get to…
So I start at the Nintendo household and within 3 minutes of nothing happening, the game crashes. The strangest part is that the error message tells me it’s the household’s Snorlax bed that’s causing the problems. I remove the Snorlax bed and decide to build a proper bedroom and bathroom while I’m in build mode and… It was the Snorlax bed that was causing the game to crash, what the hell?
I restart the game and the grill catches on fire immediately. It took 20 seconds for Mario to cause a fire. The fire department is called because nobody in the household knows how to deal with fires. The fire is quickly put out by the firefighters. The small fire really stressed Luigi out, so he smokes some weed. Mario does the same and coughs afterwards.
I try to get Mario to continue work on his book, but after 2 seconds of writing he gets bored. I send Mario to the doctors thinking this is related to his ADHD and he can be prescribed medication for it. Then I realise it’s almost 4 AM and the only hospital open is a private hospital… Mario goes to the private hospital and he’s prescribed adderall. Mario now has to go to the pharmacy to pick up the medication, this is just like real-life. While Luigi is sleeping, Funky messages him to say that he just won the lottery and is sharing money with his friends. Luigi accepts the $34 he is given.
Mario comes back from the pharmacy and I’m assuming the adderall works, Mario does exercise in the street before going to bed. Luigi gets another text message while sleeping. It's from one of the firefighters, “you don’t ever try to hangout with me. Are you too good for me?” Not too long after this, a fire starts while Wario is using the oven. That’s interesting. The fire department is called and what do you know, the firefighter that messaged Luigi is at the scene.
Luigi gets inspired and cooks some mac and cheese, despite previously being very scared of cooking… Luigi starts another fire. This is the third fire to happen this episode. When the fire department arrives, the same firefighter turns up again. When the fire is put out, I replace everything and now the household only has $35 left so I had to use free money cheats. Hopefully there aren’t any more fires this episode… The other firefighter texts Waluigi asking if he can cook food for him. Hm.
That firefighter, Devon Lai, turns up at the house and Waluigi seems to think the fire department is scamming the household. Waluigi hacks his info somehow, doesn’t learn much, eventually just holds him hostage for money. He gets no money out of this and Devon leaves after the confrontation. Mario gets a text from Funky, Funky has given him $19 so Mario can “buy something delicious”. I bet when I next play as Funky, he’s gonna have no money left. Waluigi also has a text. It’s from the other firefighter “I heard that you talked down about my skills. Is that true?” There’s no option to say yes so Waluigi just replies “Ok.”
Waluigi invites 2 other firefighters to the house and immediately “riles” one of them up and then starts a rumour about the other, you’ve shown them. Luigi comes home from the doctors, he also has ADHD and has been prescribed adderall. But instead of popping the pills, he crushes them and snorts multiple at once. He then gets a buff simply titled “Not Good”. “Luigi should not have increased the dosage!” The side effects are terrible, Luigi starts doing exercises while also playing games on the Wii U.
For some reason, Mario takes off his costume and puts on glasses… to pee. Things get boring for a while so I decide to send Luigi to a bar. Luigi has some drinks, chats with some people and does some exercises near the tables. Apparently, Alcohol makes Luigi chatty so I try to get Luigi to be friendly with the mixologist at the bar, but she doesn’t seem happy with it. Especially when Luigi tries to bribe her so she’ll be friends with him. I decide to send Luigi on a blind date instead.
Turns out Luigi’s date is a celebrity, so she stays outside as loads of people take pictures of her. This is going to be fun. Luigi gets a text from someone saying “have you been texting my babe?” I have no idea who this person is. Eventually Luigi gets to speak to his date without strangers interrupting like “oh my god, you’re person from that thingy.” I don’t know why people are so excited about seeing her in public, she’s just a “Switch” streamer. Luigi continues to flirt with his date while also doing exercises because he’s still overdosing on adderall.
Luigi’s date is showing signs of a sinister personality. Sinister sims are always up to no good, trying to achieve their goals no matter the consequences. I should’ve known it was a bad idea to set Luigi up on a date with someone called “KrystalKiss”. While I was writing this I suddenly realised KrystalKiss has actually appeared in The Game of Life before.
From “Dog”:
> A celebrity has reached out to April asking if she can collaborate with her. That celebrity is a Switch streamer called KrystalKiss, who a few years ago stole her ex's credit card and streamed herself buying everything she could wear after she caught him cheating on her... A perfect streamer for April to work with.
It would’ve been really helpful if I had remembered this while I was playing. Well Luigi is nice, I’m sure he’ll never cheat. Look, they just had their first kiss.
At least, I think that’s what that’s supposed to be. Aw, Luigi is in love, this is wholesome… OK, the paparazzi is taking photos now. This is going to be on the front page of tomorrow’s Daily Star. The two continue flirting while one of KrystalKiss’ fans faints in the background. That fan is also one of the serial killers, the game reused him like an extra in a low-budget soap opera.
Luigi and his date then… have sex on the couch, still at the bar, a public place. The worst part: the censorship doesn’t work properly and I can see that Luigi kept his hat on. Most of the other people at the bar notice what is happening and just ignore it. Is this a regular occurrence for them? Hey, Luigi got a gold medal for the date.
Krystal leaves shortly after this and Luigi starts doing sit-ups. Luigi heads home and Waluigi gets a text inviting him to a birthday/”cake day” party. Why not? Waluigi heads to the birthday party, which is at a karaoke venue for some reason, and OH GOD the birthday party is for one of the firefighters from earlier. Waluigi immediately tries to rile him up and yells at him. He doesn’t think to kick Waluigi out, despite the fact he’s already ruining the party.
The first guy to give a karaoke performance at the party is… the serial killer/fan from earlier. Are we running out of sims or something? Waluigi makes a drink behind the bar because for some reason the mixologist hired for the party refuses to do any work. Waluigi is also not a fan of the karaoke taking place, “most sims usually love that song but not when it’s sung like that!”
Waluigi then goes back to the birthday sim whose name I forget and shoves him for no actual reason. Then he punches him. Waluigi has now completed a milestone of his “psychopathic tendencies” aspiration. The birthday sim actually responds to this and appears to punch Waluigi back. The two then get involved in a fight, this is still a birthday party. The birthday sim runs off but Waluigi catches up with him and tries, but fails, to throw a drink at him. Waluigi beats the birthday sim up afterwards.
For about 2 seconds, Waluigi actually sings some karaoke. He then goes back to the birthday sim and asks him what his problem is, who responds with “Hey, this drama isn't my fault… at least not completely. I'm allowed to feel bitter about what's happened between us.” Man I’m not even sure if you did anything wrong.
Oh hi Mark.
Waluigi starts talking to another guest at the party and shouts “forbidden words” at him before starting a “rumour”. The birthday sim approaches the guest and says “this person [Waluigi right here is violent and might punch you without a reason”. The guest appears to lecture him and say that “violence is never the answer”. Waluigi throws a drink at him and then punches him without a reason.
Despite completely ruining the “party”, Waluigi never got kicked out and left at the same time as everyone else.
Back at home
You’ve got to be kidding me.
The firefighters aren’t called to this one, Waluigi puts out the fire himself. Wait, the birthday sim was a firefighter…
Luigi’s girlfriend (I guess) texts him saying “happy holidays” (it’s something called Prank Day) and asking if she can see him. Luigi says “OK” and she just sort of appears. Luigi decides he trusts her with a key to the house and NOT ANOTHER FIRE! The oven caught on fire and this time the firefighters do turn up, including that one Waluigi was harassing earlier.
Sigh… Luigi has a buff titled “itching in pubic area”. He is experiencing an itching sensation around his genitals. Could it be something serious? I waited months for this moment. Funky texts Luigi to say that he thinks the maid is stealing money from his dresser but she won’t admit to it. Funky’s household does have a maid but he is male.
Ugh… Luigi’s itching is “crab lice”. Crab lice are parasitic insects that infest human genital area
and cause intense itching. Typically contracted through sexual intercourse with infected Sims or from sleeping in infested beds. Pubic (Google Docs attempted to correct this to “public”) Lice do not voluntarily leave, so proper treatment with specialized medication is required. Lice Killer Shampoo can be ordered from a computer. Immediately after that notification, Krystal says she enjoys hanging out with Luigi because he is awesome. The two even smoke weed together, true love.
Krystal leaves so quickly that I didn’t actually see her leave and Luigi goes to the store to buy some lice-killing shampoo and other… things. He uses the shampoo and has repelled all of the crabby looking bugs living around his genitalia. (☹️) With the powerful effect of the shampoo, he doesn't have to fear contracting crab lice again for some time. 
Hey, remember that creepy sim from 2 episodes ago?
> that woman who keeps peeking through the windows breaks into the house. She goes up to Johnny and screams at one point, Johnny responds by killing her, he breaks every bone in her body…
Yeah, she’s back. As a ghost, she goes through the walls and into the house… Just to start peeking through a window at the back of the house for some reason. Luigi invites Krystal back to the house and only now he asks her if she’s single. She is. After doing a “sexy pose”, Luigi asks Krystal for sex. I don’t even think I told Luigi to do that.
This time Luigi takes his hat off. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to talk about here. There’s a chance Krystal might be pregnant, presumably because Luigi was already having sex by the time he put a condom on. I don’t know how to check she’ll have to deal with that herself.
Since we’re on a romance theme this episode, let’s see how The Room household are doing. Lisa gets a text from her mother Claudette, immediately. “Want to join me at the club? There are a lot of cuties here right now!” That’s creepy. Denny gets a text too, “I did some research to find your number. This is Denny right? I wanted to get to know you so could we meet?” Who the hell are you? Lisa then gets another text from her mother “want to go dancing with me? I really need this today!” Why? THEN CLAUDETTE SENDS ANOTHER TEXT “Hey Lisa, do you want to come over here and watch a movie with your mom?” NO!
Johnny puts the laundry in the dryer and…
Not again…
Johnny puts out the fire, cleans up the mess and deals with the laundry-
AGAIN?!
Somehow, despite the fires, the laundry dries successfully. Johnny kisses Lisa and says
…
“Wanna practice making babies?”
There are several ways Lisa could’ve responded to this. I went for “interesting offer. I might pick you up on it later.” It just sounded like a line that would be in The Room.
The next day, Lisa invites Claudette to the house. Lisa hugs her and tells her about the upcoming wedding, but she also expresses doubts about the marriage. They continue their deep conversation about... nothing really and Claudette goes home. Lisa then calls Mark over to the house, despite Mark currently being at work. Mark heads home and Lisa offers him a rose, but he declines. Lisa changes outfits and tries to flirt with Mark, he declines this too. Lisa makes a drink for Mark and tries to kiss his hands, but he declines. Maybe Johnny really is Mark's best friend. Mark does, however, compliment Lisa's appearance. Lisa doesn't seem very happy about this though.
For some reason, Aidan prank calls Peter. Peter gets a call from an unknown number saying "You have been chosen. They will come soon." Peter asks who this is and Aidan says "Ha ha. You just got PRANKED!" It also turns out the reason the dryer kept catching on fire was because nobody was cleaning the lint tray.
While Johnny heads for a doctor’s appointment, Lisa goes down to Mark and expresses doubt about the marriage again. She does praise Johnny’s vampire lifestyle though, that’s one good thing. Johnny returns from his appointment, he’s been diagnosed with anemia. He will need
to eat healthy, exercise, and can take iron supplements to stave off the worse effects. There is a chance that it can turn into severe anemia in which case a blood transfusion might be necessary. Well he is a vampire.
At 11 PM, Denny goes to a house owned by a man called Chris-R. Chris-R is playing chess when Denny introduces himself with a “funny introduction” before joining his chess game. The conversation turns tedious after Denny makes a chess move. Denny seems to already know that Chris-R is a drug dealer, he asks Chris-R about the quality of his drugs. All he learns is that Chris-R is unemployed.
Chris-R then abruptly leaves the chess game and heads upstairs. Denny doesn’t follow him at first but when he does he spots Chris-R beating up a teddy bear.
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Despite this assault, Denny continues to have a somewhat normal conversation with Chris-R. Eventually Denny buys some drugs off of him, specifically Adderall and Xanax. To me those seem like the sort of drugs that a college student would use. I also made him buy some Ketamine because I saw the option and it made me laugh for some reason. After buying the drugs, Denny waves goodbye to Chris-R who walks off to… stare at a wall.
Life has been tough for him lately.
At home Denny snorts some Ketamine and is tripping immediately afterwards. ANOTHER FIRE?! I don’t know if this was always happening before or this is something I just noticed but literally every single time my sims use the utilities they catch on fire instantly. Mark breaks down in tears for some reason. Now Denny is playing with a football while Mark just stares blankly. Is this a mental breakdown? Nevermind, Mark’s cheering, he’s fine.
Lisa goes up to Mark, makes a joke about marriage and continues to flirt with him. What Lisa doesn’t realise is that Johnny is at his computer desk while using his phone and overhears this. Johnny responds angrily and his relationship with Lisa has gone down badly. It’s gonna take a long time to repair this relationship and Mark was his best friend… 
Mark tries to fix his relationship by making a funny joke: What are vampires' favourite fruit? Neck-tarines! Funniest thing I’ve heard since Pickle Rick.
Before this episode ends, I need to mention something that I forgot to include earlier. Lisa had an anger buff from watching a movie. Why? Because she can list all the movie's mistakes, plot holes, and bad dialog in less than ten minutes.
==Gallery==
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Category:Episodes
Category:2023
Category:2023 Episodes
Category:The Game of Life
Category:SpongeBot678
Category:Episodes written by SpongeBot678
Category:2020s