The Tomb Where It Happens

An adventure starring Tanager, Tobias, and Boltzmann.
=== Teaser ===
This episode, the team go digging into ancient history as Tobias discovers an aptitude for riddling, Boltzmann learns the true meaning of rock n' roll, and Tanager meets his hero.
=== Setting ===
Fomui Dunes
=== Characters===
* Mendax Yarnspinner
* Sakhir
* Mephistopheles
=== Plot Synopsis ===
Tanager, Tobias, and Boltzmann are invited to an all-expenses paid vacation to a Resort and Spa located in the Fomui Dunes. They have a shopping montage, meet the famous Mendax Yarnspinner, and get to experience some trippy magical liquor. Mendax is troubled by how many missions he's sent people on that have ended badly, so he has decided to come along for this one. The remnants of the HHO, led by Mephistopheles, have poured the remainder of their resources into a dig excavation in order to get their hands on some kind of treasure: the Firebreathing Kittens decided to get to it first.
They slipped past the diggers with clever use of the Seeming spell, and put their heads together to work their way through various puzzles:
First Tanager used his telekinesis, and the two metal artificers used their talents with mending and fixing, to open an ancient mechanism that was well worn by sand and time. 
Next came a room with a throne (sat in by a skeleton), four panels on the floor (one glowing), a stone tablet, and four doorways (one of which was collapsed). A beautiful ornate golden orb was found on the throne. After tinkering with the orb and translating the tablet, the party deduced that they needed to hunt down the other three relics that would open the panels in the floor.
The first doorway led to a room full of acidic puddles. Tanager's mirthful leap got him into a bit of trouble as he slipped into one of the puddles, which clung to his hooves. The group found magical alternatives across the room, and through the next doorway found another tablet and a gigantic scarab beetle. Rather than fight it, Boltzmann shot it with a DNA-altering dart, and polymorphed it into a small scarab beetle. Tobias scooped it into a jar, and removed the desired crown. Tanager fashioned a molotov cocktail and, after one shatter and woosh of flame, and an angry roar, the gigantic beetle was stuck behind the door again.
Tanager very well may have put to his charisma to the test in charming the large, ageless, and powerful sphynx Sakhir - and he seemed to leave a good impression. The party took a few shocks to the head, but otherwise solved her riddles and were able to move on to their next task with the scroll and a third tablet.
The third door opened to show a pedestal on the far side of the room, where the scepter was set. The group was separated by over 100 feet of chasm. Boltzmann opened an Arcane Gate, and with the help of a Potion of Hill Giant Strength, was able to lift the scepter with his bulging spider-limb biceps. Then. Came. The rumbling. The classic giant stone boulder rolled forward, threatening to crush Boltzmann. Instead, he turned the Arcane Gate on its axis, and the other members of the group got behind the doorway on the other side. The boulder rolled over the gate: a large chunk was cut out of the stone by the gate, and Boltzmann took his opportunity to leap inside and ride the boulder down it's path until it crumbled to pieces. He rose with scepter in hand, and the fifth tablet found there in the rubble.
After translating the tablets and placing the remaining artifacts on the throne, the remaining panels glowed on the floor. When Mendax stood on one, it changed color. Each party member stood on one panel, and then the panels vanished, leaving them to fall into darkness.
Boltzmann and Tobias awoke, without Tanager or Mendax to be seen (or heard). In the next room they found some piles of gold and treasure around a sarcophagus which turned out to be a mimic. Many magic missiles were fired.
Tanager awoke in a different room with his hero, Mendax Yarnspinner. It seemed Mendax had something he needed to get off his chest. He was feeling somewhat guilty, or concerned, that his friend Nesgrax would feel used by him at this point. Tanager gave him the best possible advice: to tell his friend how he was feeling, and not to wait for some great conclusion with the HHO.
The team all met in the treasure room, where a black obelisk covered in ancient writing seemed to be humming with some alien magic. A final tablet seemed to reveal that this obelisk was most likely some kind of monitoring device set up by visitors from long ago. As well as piles and piles of gold, they found a sarcophagus and another tunnel opening. The sarcophagus and the mummified corpse of King Paelentis within showed signs of tampering, somewhat recently, and the book (the actual treasure) had been torn from its hands.
The tunnel was not original from this tomb, but blasted in from the outside. A note was found indicating that another group had been here some weeks before, signed "L.S."
Tobias got to work fabricating a decoy book for the HHO. Just as he was debating what kind of glyph or scrying trap to set upon it, Mephistopheles burst into the room. His villain monologue revealed that Saffron Beelady was not working with Mendax, but was now a mindless husk under the demon's complete control. He snatched the book from Tobias, saw through the guise immediately (the book didn't have any words) and burned it to ash. As he sent waves of fire and destruction to incinerate our heroes, Mendax poured his power into a magical shield to hold him back, beckoning the group to escape through the tunnel. 
The tunnel collapsed behind them. In the quiet, they made their way to its opening, underneath the bar where they had started their adventure. This is where they stopped and took a moment to share a final toast for their friend and compatriot, Mendax Yarnspinner. 
=== Stone Tablets- Full Text ===
Long ago, when it came time to tame the wilds
The first people set out to explore
But were set upon by the forces of nature
Holding them back and destroying their will
But then the visitors came
Down from the heavens
They saw the plight of the explorers
And lent a helping hand
They used their intellect and cunning
To seal away those primal forces
So that the explorers could continue
And tame those self-same wilds
The secrets lie in their ancient book
That rests in this tomb of King Paelentis
And must be defended at all costs
Lest those forces be released again
They are no fools
They know the time will come
So they lie in wait
And will know when it is done.
=== Memorable Quotes ===
Boltzmann: "Tanager, I don't know how you've done it but you've persuaded me. My body could use a cowboy hat. Do you think we could put a hole in it for my exhaust pipe?"
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Tanager's Player: "If you listen to Tanager's character intro, he talks about how much he loves Mendax. So the fact that he's on an adventure with him - whatever he'll be naked."
Category:Episodes