A Very Stick 10 Christmas: Ben Gets a Cold/Script

A VERY STICK 10 CHRISTMAS: BEN GETS A COLD
By Ancy and Solo
The special starts with Ben waking up in his room. It’s snowing outside.
(Ben): *yawn* Gosh, what a boring Sunday. Only one thing could make this better…
Ben looks out of his window.
(Ben): *childlike glee* It’s SNOWING!
Ben runs downstairs, past his mom and dad. His mom is on the phone.
(Mom): I’m telling you, it’s November, this weather isn’t normal! Send the police or a scientist or something!
Ben puts on his winter gear. He runs outside. It’s snowing, so beautiful. Everyone is happy, except for Baumann, who has built a treehouse 50 feet above the street, acting like a Grinch ass bitch. Close-up of Ben’s superhappy face, red cheeks and big green childlike eyes.
Meanwhile, in Baumann’s Grinch cave/treehouse…
(Baumann): Every child down in Bellwood liked Christmas a lot, but I, Baumann, who lives just north of Ben Tennyson – Does not. I, Baumann, hate Christmas – the whole Christmas sea-
Baumann’s monologue is interrupted by a rope suddenly tying itself around his eyebrow. Vilgax climbs up the rope.
(Vilgax): Hey Baumann! I’m here to carol!
(Baumann): Piss off, squidboy, I’m doing a Grinch parody.
(Vilgax): Okay. L
Vilgax climbs down.
(Baumann): Now, where was I? Oh, right – (singing) I’m a mean one, Mr. Baumann, my heart’s an empty hole~ My brain is full of spiders, I’ve got garlic in my-
Baumann is interrupted again by Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. Ben climbs out of his skirt.
(Ben): (singing) I don’t want a lot for Christmas / There is just one thing I need / I don’t care about the presents / Underneath the Christmas tree / I just want you for my own / More than you could ever know / Make my wish come true / All I want for Christmas is you—
(Vilgax): HEEEY GUUUUYS!
(Ben and Baumann at the same time): Go away, Vilgax.
(Vilgax): But guuuuys it’s Christmaaaas
(Ben): It’s November.
(Vilgax): Oh.
Suddenly, cracking noises are heard. The Treehouse starts to collapse.
(Baumann): Bah, humbug.
The treehouse collapses on Baumann’s house. Then it explodes. Ben and Vilgax are the only ones left. Then, Baumann comes falling down on Vilgax, his leg shattering because it got stabbed by his headgear.
(Baumann): *crying in pain*
(Ben): And so, the Baumann’s fracture grew three times that d—
(Baumann): (crying) FUCK YOU
(Vilgax): Gosh such language.
(Baumann): BEN TENNYSON! YOU BROKE MY FUCKING LEG!
(Ben): Well TECHNICALLY—
(Baumann): TENNYSON THIS IS YOUR FAULT NOW I CAN’T ATTEND THE OPENING OF MY BRAND NEW BAUMALL
(Ben): That’s okay Mr. Baumann, I can attend it for you!
(Baumann): YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU CAN ATTEND IT FOR ME
(Ben): When is it?
(Baumann): Tomorrow, at 5 PM.
(Ben): That’s okay! I’ll do it, Baumann!
(Baumann): Somebody bring me to a hospital please
(Ben): Hahaha, silly Baumann. Hey Vilgax, wanna go play in the snow?
(Vilgax): Frick yeah!
(Ben): Fuck no, go away.
Close-up of Vilgax’s sad face. Then a montage of Ben playing in the snow while happy music plays.
THE NEXT DAY
Ben wakes up, looking very pale and snotty.
(Ben): Oh gosh… I think I have a bit of a cold. No matter! I mean like, I had a cold once when I was 10 and my Omnitrix was completely find and all my aliens worked perfectly!
Flashback to Side Effects. Clancy shows up.
(Clancy): Nyeh, I’m gonna use my bugs to blow up Bellwood! Nyeh!
(Ben): No.
Ben turns into Four Arms and punches Clancy in the dick.
(Clancy): Oh no I’ve been defeated nyeh.
Back to present day.
(Ben): Yup that’s how it went yup completely right yup yup yup.
Ben opens up his window, and he turns into Jetray. He flies out of the window, but then he does a rollercoaster loop and crashes into someone’s window.
(Jetray): Sorry.
Cut to the interior of the Baumall. Baumann, in a wheelchair, is sitting around in the main area. A giant Christmas tree is present. First, a bunch of sound effects are heard, y’know shit like glass breaking, cats screeching, things falling apart, and Gaben, and then Ben arrives as Jetray. He turns back into Ben.
(Ben): Sorry it took me so long, Baumann. Jetray’s acting weird today.
(Baumann): What the fuck’s wrong with you you look terrible. Do you have a cold?
(Ben): No! …well, yes, but, it’s a minor one. Nobody will notice.
Close-up of Baumann’s face.
(Baumann): Ben?
Close-up of Ben’s face.
(Ben): Yeah?
Back to Baumann.
(Baumann): Your snot is drowning my leg.
Pan out to see a waterfall of snot coming out of Ben’s nose.
(Ben): Uh, oops. It’s okay Mr. Baumann, Water Hazard can fix this!
Ben turns into Water Hazard. He sprays Baumann with gross sewage water.
(Baumann): BEN WHAT THE FUCK STOP THIS IS GROSS WATER
Ben turns back.
(Ben): Huh, weird. I think there’s something going on with my aliens. That didn’t happen last time I got a cold.
Flashback to Secret of Chromastone. Ben as Echo Echo is running towards Vilgax.
(Vilgax): Ben Tennyson! I will… give you this nice bouquet of flowers!
(Echo Echo): Aw thanks, Vilgax!
Psyphon shows up.
(Psyphon): Hey guys, I brought video games and snacks!
(Vilgax and Ben): Yay!
Gwen shows up.
(Gwen): Hey Ben, we had some spare money over, do you want it?
Pan up to see Kevin flying in a helicopter. The doors open up, and it starts raining money.
(Ben): Aw thanks, guys!
Diamondheadman shows up.
(Diamondheadman): Ben Tennyson. Here’s the key to the universe. I’m now going to return to my home planet which was never destroyed ever and dance at the hottest clubs. Why don’t you join me so we can play video games and eat snacks while dancing with hot babes?
(Ben): Heck yeah!
Back to present day. Vilgax is somehow there.
(Vilgax): Good times.
(Ben): Vilgax go away.
(Vilgax): L okay
Ben throws Vilgax out like when Uncle Phil throws Jazz out in Fresh Prince.
Suddenly, Captain Titties jumps out of the Christmas tree.
(Captain Titties): Freeze!
(Baumann): Oh no, a burglar!
(Captain Titties): This is a hostile takeover! This mall is ours!
All the guys from the Undertown Gang come out with guns and shit and stand around Ben and Baumann.
(Baumann): Ben, wheel me out of here!
Ben kicks Baumann’s wheelchair. He falls over.
(Baumann): Cunt.
(Ben): I’ll save you, Mr. Baumann!
Ben turns into Upgrade.
(Upgrade): Your guns are mine now!
Hands come out of Upgrade and grab the guns. However, instead of upgrading, he downgrades them into peashooters. He shoots peas at the thugs, but they just bounce off them.
(Upgrade): What the heckings? That’s not upgrading, that’s downgrading!
The thugs pull other guns out of their asses and open fire. Ben grapples onto a chandelier above, rescuing him from the gunfire. However, Baumann gets the full load.
(Baumann): *screaming in pain* BEN!
(Upgrade): Sorry Baumann!
Upgrade jumps off the chandelier, onto the second floor. He looks down at the thugs. Baumann’s head is the only thing left of him. His brain is showing. The thugs are looking around, searching for Ben. Baumann spots him.
(Baumann): HE’S UP THERE!
(Ben): BAUMANN WTF
The thugs open fire on Ben. He grapples onto the chandelier again, and so the gunfire blows up the parfume store instead. A gross smell surrounds the area.
(Sweet-Eels Sparklefunk): Gross, it smells like… strawberries?
Ben jumps down to the third floor, and enters a Hot Topic. He turns back and hides behind Adventure Time t-shirts.
(Clerk): You hide behind it, you buy it.
(Ben): The fuck are you doing here?
The clerk pulls out one of the laser guns.
(Ben): Oh shit!
Ben turns into Ditto. The clerk fires at him, but he’s stupid so he accidentally shoots himself such oops.
(Ditto): Gosh, some people need to learn how to fire guns.
Ben walks out of the Hot Topic, and looks around. He spots Bubble Helmet patrolling the third floor.
(Ditto): *gasp*
Ditto jumps into plant, hiding in it while Bubble Helmet walks by. He jumps onto Bubble Helmet, and then jumps in front of him.
(Bubble Helmet): Huh?
(Ditto): Which is one is the real one? Try and figure it out!
Ditto tries to clones himself, but instead he ends up with a second head and two new arms.
(Ditto): …Uh, hold on.
Bubble Helmet opens fire on Ditto. He dodges it by jumping around. He tries to jump onto the chandelier, but he doesn’t make it.
(Ditto): Chandelier I thought you were my frieeeeeeend…
Ditto falls into the Christmas tree. He comes out rolling next to Baumann.
(Baumann): He’s here, he’s here!
(Ditto): Baumann, shush!
(Ditto’s Gay Head): Oh my god, is it Christmas here? I LOVE Christmas! Oh, can we go shopping at the Hot Topic?
(Ditto): You guys, shut up!
(Offscreen Voice): Ahum.
Ditto gets up and turns around to see Thunderpig.
(Ditto): …Hi?
Thunderpig fires his gun at Ditto, but he accidentally cuts off the gay head. The gay head regrows a new body.
(Gay Ditto): Ugh, this is so lame. I’m gonna go to Sears. Laters!
Gay Ditto leaves.
(Ditto): Are you fucking kidding me?
(Thunderpig): Thunder, thunder, THUNDERPIG!
(Ditto): It’s a yelling contest you want, it’s a yelling contest you’ll get!
Ben turns into Rath.
(Rath): (sore throat) Lemme tell you something, Thunderp-- *coughing fit* Oh gosh, sorry. My throat hurts. Where was I?
(Thunderpig): You were about to GET KILLED!
Thunderpig grabs Rath by the leg, and throws him into a Build-A-Bear. Rath gets up, coughing up a teddy bear. Thunderpig points his laser gun at Rath.
(Thunderpig): Say goodnight, kitty-cat.
(Rath): Not yet.
Ben turns into Lodestar.
(Lodestar): I’ll be taking that gun!
Lodestar points at Thunderpig’s gun, but nothing happens.
(Lodestar): …The hell?
Suddenly, Thunderpig’s gun flies over to him and hits him in the gut.
(Lodestar): Augh! What the heck is going on today?
Thunderpig runs into the store, and throws Lodestar back to where Baumann is. Lodestar opens his eyes, looking up to the chandelier.
(Lodestar): Oh no.
The chandelier starts to vibrate. Thunderpig comes standing over Lodestar.
(Thunderpig): Any last words.
(Lodestar): Yeah. Stay where you are.
The chandelier comes falling down, crushing Thunderpig. Lodestar climbs out of wreckage. He looks up to see the other thugs surrounding him.
(Lodestar): Let’s finish this once and for all!
Ben turns into NRG. It’s silent for a few seconds. Nobody moves. Then, metallic bonking noises are heard.
(NRG): Somebody help me, I can’t move!
The thugs start laughing at him.
(NRG): Stop! It’s not funny!
NRG inside the suit turns into Grey Matter. He jumps through NRG’s eyeholes, onto Bubble Helmet, and then onto the second floor. He runs into a RadioShack. He jumps onto a desk, and runs over to the computer.
(Grey Matter): I can email someone for help! I’ll email… uhh… I’ll… uhh…. Oh wait wait wait, I got it! I was here to fix the computer!
Grey Matter goes under the desk and into the computer through the disc hole. He grabs two plugs.
(Grey Matter): Now all I have to do is… uhh… what do I have to do again? Uhh… oh yeah! Connect these things.
Grey Matter puts the two plugs in each other. The electricity sparking from it shocks Grey Matter.
(Omnitrix): Shuffle mode activated.
(Grey Matter): What?
Ben turns into Wildvine, breaking the computer and knocking over the desk.
(Wildvine): Aw man! I thought the shuffle function was only for music!
Wildvine tries to touch the Omnitrix, but his hand falls off.
(Wildvine): Dammit, I’m all withered!
Suddenly, Stomachhead walks by.
(Wildvine): Shit!
Wildvine climbs into a vent. He watches Stomachhead come into the store.
(Stomachhead): Hey guys, I think someone’s been here!
(Baumann): Look into the vents!
(Wildvine): (whispering) Baumann what the fuck?
Stomachhead goes up to the vents. Wildvine crawls backwards, but then he turns into Eye Guy.
(Eye Guy): What’s going on? I can’t see!
Eye Guy jumps out of the vent, knocking Stomachhead over, and he runs through the mall. Eventually, he comes up to a hot lady thug, and squeezes her boobs.
(Eye Guy): This is a weird pillow!
Eye Guy turns into Cannonbolt.
(Cannonbolt): Oh. Sorry.
Cannonbolt falls on top of her.
(Cannonbolt): Oh. Sorry. Again.
Cannonbolt sticks his dick in her.
(Cannonbolt): Oh, oops my bad.
Cannonbolt gets up, and falls over the railing, ending up back on the first floor.
(Cannonbolt): Gosh it’s one of those days.
Cannonbolt trips into ball form, rolls over to Baumann’s head, and peels open his wound, revealing his whole brain.
(Baumann): *cries in pain* FUCK YOU BEN
(Cannonbolt): Gosh today is not my day.
Suddenly, Ben turns into Jury Rigg.
(Jury Rigg): Hey, Jury Rigg fixes things! I can fix you too, Mr. Baumann!
(Baumann): NO GET AWAY FROM ME
Jury Rigg grabs a Macbook from a nearby Apple Store.
(Jury Rigg): My hands are a little shaky, but that won’t affect my work!
Jury Rigg tries to fix Baumann. He ends up with the screen sticking out of Baumann’s brain, and the keyboard sticking out of his eye.
(Baumann): BEN WHY DO YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME
Suddenly, all the thugs show up and surround Ben.
(Bubble Helmet): I heard you was touchy-feeling up mah girl, is that right?
(Jury Rigg): That hot lady thug was your girlfriend? Jesus, Bubble Helmet has a girlfriend and I don’t?
Suddenly, Ben turns into XLR8.
(XLR8): XLR8? Hey wait a minute, nothing’s wrong with me this time! Perfect vision, no extra limbs, no gay heads – I’m back to normal!
XLR8 starts running around.
(XLR8): Aw yeah time to get out of—
XLR8 sneezes, covering his whole mask with snot.
(XLR8): Oh my god this is gross I can’t see OH GOD IT’S IN MY MOUTH
XLR8 crashes into Happy Hank Hill’s Propane And Propane Accessories. Thugs approach the store. XLR8 takes his mask off and looks up to see them.
(XLR8): *gulp* Welp, this is it.
Suddenly, the Omnitrix starts beeping. Ben turns into Big Chill, and the whole store explodes. The thugs look around in the smoke, but suddenly Big Chill comes flying out. He breathes fire upon the thugs.
(Big Chill): Aw yeah suckas, how do you like me now!? FIRE, bitch!
The Omnitrix starts beeping.
(Big Chill): Oh fuck me.
Ben turns into Buzzshock. Thugs surround him.
(Buzzshock): Gentlemen, prepare for a SHOCKING revelation! Hehehehe… puns.
Buzzshock points his arms at the thugs, preparing to fire lighting, but suddenly he sneezes, and a hand grows out of his hear, and on top of the fingertops grow little Buzzshock head.
(Buzzshock): …The fuck?
He sneezes again. A leg grows out of his head, with a mouth on the foot and eyes on the tongue.
(Buzzshock): Oh god somebody help me.
Thugs look horrified. Buzzshock goes into a sneezing fit, as he grows all kinds of horrible mutations – in the end, he can’t even talk, except for the multiple mouths on his mutated limbs.
(Buzzshock): Oh god bring me to a hospital
Ben turns into Eatle.
(Eatle): Oh, that’s much better.
Eatle sneezes. He fires a blast out of his horn, cutting off Stomachhead’s arm.
(Eatle): Oops, sorry.
Eatle sneezes again, cutting off Stomachhead’s legs.
(Eatle): Oh my gosh oops.
(Stomachhead): OH MY GOD THE PAIN
(Eatle): So sorry.
Eatle sneezes once again, destroying pretty much everything about Stomachhead except for his head.
(Stomachhead): AAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH
(Eatle): Not my fault.
(Baumann): Hey, wanna join the decapitated head club?
Suddenly, Eatle’s Omnitrix starts to beep. He transforms, and the green takes over the whole screen. When it comes back, the store is completely different. The Christmas has fallen over and is on fire. Several stores are destroyed. Clockwork is laying on top of a dead horse in the remains of the Build-A-Horse Workshop. Bubble Helmet’s arm is ripped off. Liam got stabbed through the chest with a sword. And then suddenly, it happens.
Clockwork comes flying out of the Build-A-Horse and onto the second floor, where Fistina catches him and puts him back down. Fistina walks backwards into the elevator. On the bottom floor, the chandelier comes back and repairs itself back onto the chain. Bubble Helmet flies by, his sharp fingers fixing the broken chain. Clockwork catches him and buts him back down. A reverse punching contest leads them back into the elevator, and back down to the main area where Bubble Helmet takes off his arm and puts it in Baumann’s skin. Clockwork buts Baumann’s decapitated skull back in the skin. Clockwork runs backwards to the second floor, where Bubble Helmet’s arm flies back into his hands. Clockwork reverse slaps Bug-Lite with Bubble Helmet’s arm, until he runs backwards to Bubble Helmet, and he puts the arm back on his shoulder. Tears go back into Bubble Helmet’s eyes. Clockwork flies back up to the third floor. Liam comes flying back up, and Clockwork pulls a sword out of his chest while reverse-walking, and puts is back nicely in the destroying ruins of the Build-A-Sword Workshop. The workshop suddenly fixes itself, and Clockwork flies down onto the first floor, where Fistina catches him and puts him down. Clockwork rolls back onto the burning Christmas tree. The fire retracts into a grenade, which flies back up to Bug-Lite, who climbs down from the second to the first floor. Clockwork flies back through the sky, a laser coming out of his face and back into Sweet-Eels Sparklefunk’s lasergun, as Clockwork lands in the circle of thugs. And then he turns into Nanomech.
(Bubble Helmet): …what the fuck just happened?
The chandelier falls on top of Baumann.
(Baumann): God dammit.
(Sweet-Eels Sparklefunk): Wait, where is he?
(Nanomech): I’m here.
Sweet-Eels looks down onto his lasergun, where Nanomech is sitting.
(Sweet-Eels): How come there’s nothing wrong with you this time?
(Nanomech): I have herpes.
(Sweet-Eels): Oh.
Ben turns into Brainstorm.
(Brainstorm): WHAT THUGS GUNS WHAT DANGER WHAT
Thugs line up and aim at Ben.
(Brainstorm): BRAINSTORM PROTECT BRAINSTORM BY LIGHTNING
Brainstorm tries to shoot lightning, but he just shocks himself. He turns into Goop.
(Goop): Fuck this, I’m outta here!
Goop tries to run away, but he just melts.
(Goop): Wait, idea!
A little strand of Goop presses the Omnitrix. It glows, and then the whole mall explodes. Goop finally turns back into Ben.
(Ben): Gosh, what an adventure, huh Baumann?
(Baumann): BEN YOU IDIOT I HIRED THOSE PEOPLE
(Ben): Baumann what you talkin’ bout?
(Baumann): I MADE A DEAL WITH PSYPHON SO THOSE GUYS COULD TAKE OVER THE MALL AND KILL YOU
(Ben): …Silly Baumann.
(Baumann): GAAAAAH… this day couldn’t get any worst.
(Ben): C’mon, I’ll take you to the hospital with Crashhopper!
Ben turns into Crashhopper, but it’s like a hot sexy lady Crashhopper with big tits.
(Crashhopper): Oh, Mr. Baumann… I always had a crush on you…
(Baumann): …oh my.
Crashhopper and Baumann kiss, but then Crashhopper turns back into Ben (who is still a lady) mid-kiss.
(Baumann): BEN WTF
(Ben): Hey! At least it wasn’t gay.
Ben turns back into a guy.
(Ben): …can we still kiss now?
(Baumann): Fuck you.
THE END
Category:Scripts