Babe (The Private Reviewer)

(Open on The Private Reviewer sitting at his table in his room.)
 
The Private Reviewer: Hello, I'm the Private Reviewer. I remember it because Nostalgia Critic doesn't. Babe: Pig in the City.
(Footage of Babe: Pig in the City is shown. "Non, je ne regrette rien" song by Édith Piaf plays in the background)
PR (vo): When it second came out, it was a critical and box office bomb with every passing year. Though I personally found the film okay, I'd be lying if I said I didn't see what drew so many people to it. Its awkward dramatic scenes are decent, its comedy is good, and its lead, though nothing new by movie standards, was kind of different in terms of live-action standards. But this is one of my favorite movies of all-time.
PR: As if the first came out in 1995, there's nothing like a haunted-less film, is there? That is to say, there's nothing more...
 
(Cut to clips from Babe; music from the film plays.)
 
PR (v/o): ...creepiness, intensity and disturbing-less emotional, or unbelievable darkness, also with un-mawkish, sentimental, claptrap pretentious as a haunted-less film, is there?
 
(Cut to PR.)
 
PR: Of course there is, and that's why I'm taking a look at Universal Pictures' latest since... (music fades as he tries to come up with an answer) ...well, anything their studio has produced the best original as the anti-Star Wars-prequel, really:
 
(Movie's title card shown.)
 
PR (v/o): Babe.
 
PR: This is about an interesting movie, but other than that and a couple cheesy things it was pretty cute. I mean, that deserves to be ripped live-action (shown a poster of...) Gordy version off. (back at PR) For kids and adults, the movie is great with some of the worst clichés. Stick to the cartoons if you want talking animals. This original was decent, okay, but it's good. So, the film begins as the book opens.
 
PR (v/o): And see the camera began to pass through the creepy statues, like The Exorcist III and pictures had to do re-anima-- What?! The pictures had to be re-animated? This feels creep-less like Harry Potter where the frames still have to do GiFs animations. And the tone starts off as the lights dimmed setting like Fantasia in which the pictures had to do stop-motion animations where it pans away to the big picture frame at the end.
 
PR: Seriously? That feels so haunted-less!
 
PR (v/o): So, the film changes to the pigs in a slaughterhouse of meats, which the truck comes inside. And, yeah, the men will take over the fat pigs through the truck.
 
Babe: Good-bye, Mom.
 
PR (v/o): Whoa, is that a small pig known as "piglet" named Babe, voiced by (a shot of Chuckie from...) The Rugrats' Christine Cavanaugh? I guess what I don't have an inappropriate word means is.
 
(A briefly clip of Conker's Bad Fur Day is shown)
 
Conker: Paradise! (faints)
 
(back to the movie, the men snatched Babe from the metallic flat-less cage, put him to the sack)
 
PR (v/o): When the two men in suits, they showed up and getting snatched a piglet from the cage; (a center shot of Babe: Pig in the City where the original footages appears a bit flashback during Babe being chased by the pit bull dog) and wait, maybe they put a footages a bit flashback in the sequel, but that's my favorite movie.
 
Harry: How much do I owe you?
 
Man: It's a runt, Harry. A worthless, little runt.
 
(two men holding a pig in the sack chuckles and walks off and snap off to black, a two women screaming at the rides)
 
PR: (v/o): Well, wait a minute. What if the pig squealing in the sack as cut to the two women screaming mingle, then the girls squealing riding their rides? But what actually happened with that scene is a better beginning? Jeez, what a freak out. (as the auctioneer chattering at the lots of sheep for sale) Hey, is that an auctioneer chattering at? Well, I guess I put a voice effect for a Disney classic, Dumbo like...
 
(a clip of Dumbo is shown)
 
PR (v/o, mimicking the auctioneer): Hurry to the big sheep touch. That's why you go touch the sheep.
 
(an another clip of All Dogs Go to Heaven is shown)
 
PR (v/o): Or another put on Don Bluth’s classic: All Dogs Go to Heaven, like...
 
PR (v/o, mimicking the dog caster): Baa baa baa, lots of sheep, touch any wool. Touch the sheep in the upset of the week. Who would've touched a herd?
 
(back to the movie)
 
PR (v/o): When the farmer, played by Spider-Man 3's James Cromwell, towards see an orphaned piglet is chosen for a "guess the weight" contest at a county fair.
 
Arthur Hoggett: Don't keep pigs.
 
Man #2: Christmas day. Think of it. What a feast.
 
PR: Oh, that's right. I didn't know what they're saying, a "feast" word like...
 
(a briefly clip of Inkheart is shown)
 
Capricorn: Feast!
 
(a briefly clip of Year One is shown)
 
Zed (Jack Black): Tonight, we feast.
 
(a briefly clip of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is shown)
 
The Grinch: (jumping) And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast, FEAST!
 
(a briefly clip of The Angry Birds Movie is shown)
 
King Leonard Mudbeard: We're having a feast! We're eating the eggs!
 
PR: Okay, enough with any "feast" word said.
 
(back to the movie)
 
PR (v/o): But Arthur Hoggett take the piglet home from the contest winner and he is taken in by Border Collie Fly, voiced by James and the Giant Peach's Miriam Margolyes, her irascible mate Rex, voiced by The Lord of the Rings' Hugo Weaving, and their puppies. So, does that first chapter title is...
 
(the mice reading the chapter title "Pigs are definitely stupid" is shown)
 
PR: (v/o): Yeah, that mice kept on reading; so, we're cut back to the scene with...
 
Fly's Puppy #1: What is it, Mom?
 
Fly: That's a pig.
 
(Fly and the puppies head towards the barn to find Babe, an orphaned pig)
 
PR (v/o): Jeez, that puppies' voice looks like Daveigh Chase (Chihiro) from Spirited Away is.
 
Fly's Puppy #2: It does look stupid, Mom.
 
Fly: Not as stupid as sheep, mind you. But pigs are definitely stupid.
 
PR: (confused, shrugs) Well, I guess any excuse to use a first chapter title.
 
Fly: Who are you?
 
Babe: I'm a large white.
 
Fly: Yes, that's your breed, dear.
 
PR: (mimicking Fly) And, hey, are you a Yorkshire Pig Association breed here?
 
Fly: What did your mother call you to tell you apart from your brothers and sisters?
 
Babe: Our mom called us all the same.
 
Fly: And what was that, dear?
 
Babe: She called us all Babe.
 
(Brief footage from “Conker's Bad Fur Day” is shown again with Conker faints)
 
PR (v/o): No, Babe, turns out, is a main piggish character. Not inappropriate stuff is.
 
Babe: I want my mom. (sobs)
 
PR (v/o): Aww, that was a bit harsh to make a saddest moment. And... (shows Rex, a blackish sheepdog) Whoa! Is that a blackish sheepdog (Rex)?
 
Rex: Until he finds his feet.
 
Fly: If you do want to do anything, you'll go outside, won't you? (as she touches Babe with his nose) Good boy.
 
PR (v/o): Yeah, enough with this heartwarming scene. And we're cut to the morning, the puppies are playing around with Babe. And then, he decides to meet the old Border Leicester ewe in the shelter.
 
Babe: You're a sheep!
 
Maa: I'll not be called a common sheep, thank you kindly. And I got a nasty cough.
 
PR: Oh, no; not to be mentioned where they actually look like a nasty cough for... (as a briefly clip of...) Mayhew from Tim Burton's Corpse Bride, anyway.
 
(back to the movie...)
 
Maa: And I'm not as young as I used to be. What is your name?
 
Babe: Babe.
 
Maa: Not like them wolves. Treat you like dirt, they do!
 
Babe: Fly would never do that!
 
Maa: Fly, is it? A right vicious creature she be, I'll tell you.
 
Babe: Not Fly.
 
Maa: All these wolves are cruel to sheep. Always have been. Brutal savages! That's what they are.
 
PR: (confused) Well, what is she saying for short? Vicious, cruel, brutal? That was a tangle of questions!
 
PR (v/o): The next morning of the crime, Babe befriends a duck named Ferdinand, voiced by Danny Mann, who wakes people by crowing like a rooster every morning so he will be considered useful and be spared from being eaten.
 
Ferdinand: You look like an intelligent, sophisticated, discerning young fella.
 
PR: Me? (snickers) No, not me.
 
Babe: So I go through the kitchen, across the living room...
 
Ferdinand: Good, good.
 
Babe: ...into the bedroom. Get the mechanical rooster and bring it out to you.
 
Ferdinand: What about that cat?
 
Babe: But quietly bring it out to you.
 
Ferdinand: Excellent. It's against the rules. Only dogs and cats are allowed in the house. It's a good rule, but this is bigger than the rules.
 
PR (mimicking Ferdinand): Who gives the plan against the bigger rules for? We understand the plan.
 
Ferdinand: Humans eat ducks!
 
Babe: (gasps in shock) I beg your pardon?
 
Ferdinand: Ah, most ducks prefer to forget it, but the fact is that humans like to eat plump ducks.
 
PR: (mimicking Ferdinand) But the fact is, ducks have any purpose to eat.
 
Babe: Why do you need me to do it?
 
Ferdinand: I'm allergic to cats.
 
Babe: Oh.
 
Ferdinand: They make me sneeze.
 
PR: (mimicking Ferdinand) Ah, yeah. (a shot of Sneezy from Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) The seven dwarfs were right. Don't bother us when we say "Heigh-Ho".
 
(When Babe gets inside which Duchess sleeps in the living room; Ferdinand pushes the alarm clock and Babe holds the alarm clock with his mouth, tries to destroy the alarm clock.)
 
PR (v/o): So Babe gets inside the house and gets stuck in chaos a bit, Ferdinand persuades him to help him destroy the alarm clock that threatens his mission. Despite succeeding in this, they wake the Hoggetts' cat and in the confusion accidentally wreck the living room in the ensuing chaos.
 
PR: And... I guess we put a piece of music playing from Fantasia with (a shot of...) "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" like this.
 
(a scene repeats as the music plays "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" begins. Just then Ferdinand shouts while Babe drops the alarm clock from his mouth as the music interrupts! When the alarm clock rings as Duchess woke up and cut to a cat attacks them in the house outside)
 
PR (mimicking Leopold Stokowski from Fantasia): Congratulations to you, Babe.
 
(When the cat got messy paint in the fur as she meows then Esme Hoggett looked around and gasps in horror while Arthur Hoggett gasps as he looked shocked, looking at the mess)
 
PR (v/o, mimicking Arthur Hoggett): My God, this is going to be claptrap messy.
 
(cut to Rex sternly instructs Babe to stay away from Ferdinand and the house.)
 
PR (v/o, normal): But Rex had continued to talk at Babe to stay away from Ferdinand and the house at night; which the Hoggetts got cleaning up of this living room. They have a plan to eat Duck a l'orange for Christmas dinner.
 
Esme: (as the iris closes at him) And pork is a nice, sweet meat. Then there's the crackling. That always adds interest and texture.
 
PR: (confused) Say, why are you doing a circle transition effect closing down at Esme Hoggett? Uh, never mind. Let's continue.
 
PR (v/o): So, Babe got to play around with those puppies until he found the bloody slaughterhouse. And, Good God, it looks like a haunted-less scene.
 
(Babe gasps at a few times as he notices the piggish tools in fear in the slaughterhouse; looked up at the text in a frame: "What You Eat Today, Walks and Talks Tomorrow")
 
PR: You know, kids, they actually have to make a Fantasia tone and get darker. Just tell George Miller to find the way.
 
Babe: (whispers) What is this place?
 
Ferdinand: What's happening out there?
 
Babe: Oh, well. Rex isn't very happy. Boy, all these new rules! You see, I'm not allowed to... Oops.
 
PR: Hey, what's all the pointless when you get the worst cliche with a Shrek moment?
 
(Babe replies "Oops." is repeat shown.)
 
PR: Well, the script is getting decent. But the sequel likes it, right?
 
(Babe replies "Oops." is repeat shown again.)
 
PR: Yeah, okay. Now go outside, will ya?
 
(Babe says "Oops" and walks off, Cut to Fly's puppies are put up for sale)
 
PR: Sometime later, when Fly sees sadly as the puppies are put up for sale, which the Joker (Heath Ledger) held off, this pile of money is getting burned out.
 
(clip of The Dark Knight is shown)
 
Joker (Heath Ledger): All you care about is money.
 
(back to the movie, when Babe met with Fly)
 
PR (v/o): And Babe lets Fly adopt a parent.
 
Babe: May I call you "Mom"?
 
(then Fly licking Babe happily.)
 
PR (v/o): My God, she is licking him. So, we cut to the fourth chapter with Hoggett's relatives visiting for Christmas.
 
(her parents with a girl and a boy enter the farm, girl squeals)
 
PR: What the hey hey? Is that a girl squealing out?
 
(the girl squeals, repeat)
 
PR: Oh, great. Looks like they have Little Audrey do it. (a briefly clip ofButterscotch and Soda's infamous scene of Little Audrey scream)
 
(back to the movie)
 
Esme: Guess what we're having for Christmas dinner. Roast pork.
 
Girl: I hate pork.
 
PR: Oh, I guess we put a bad feeling in the word "hate".
 
Horse: (snorts) The cat says they call it Christmas.
 
PR: Hey, you horse. What if you put a lip sync in your mouth, anyway?
 
Ferdinand: Dinner means death. Death means carnage! CHRISTMAS MEANS CARNAGE!
 
PR: (laughs) For God's sake, just what Sony had to put her own character (a shot of Carnage from...) from "Venom" sequel.
 
PR (v/o): When Esme decides against choosing Babe for Christmas dinner, remarking a pretext to his wife that Babe may bring a prize for ham at the next county fair. (back to the children who could choose a duck) And, however, a children who could pick a duck to make a roasted duck a l'orange.
 
PR: Who was picking a duck instead of a pork?
 
Maa: Eating pigs! (stick a tongue) Bleh!
 
PR: For God's sake, just look what the sheep got close to his eyes, open his mouth and stick his tongue out.
 
(the scene repeats)
 
Maa: (stick a tongue) Bleh!
 
PR: Heh. Get out of here.
 
Babe: La la la. La la la. (snorts) La la la, la lalaaaa.
 
PR: Ooh, just look at what he sings "Jingle Bells". And I think we got to shoot my favorite movie.
 
(a briefly clip of Babe: Pig in the City is shown)
 
'’'Babe (E.G. Daily): La la la, la la la la, la la la la la la-a-a-a... Hey.
 
PR: Suit yourself.
 
(back to the movie)
 
PR (v/o): So, Arthur decided to kill a duck and tomorrow he actually serves a duck a l'orange for the Christmas dinner, because this scene happens...
 
(cut at night when Babe woke up and noticed Arthur Hoggett use his butcher knife to kill the duck off-screen but the shadow is shown. But the mice scurries away in fear)
 
PR: This is a G movie, kids!
 
(back to the movie, Babe, Ferdinand, the white chicken and the cow watches the family eating Christmas dinner...)
 
PR (v/o): So, Babe and the other animals watch the family have a Christmas dinner with a duck a l'orange in the morning. But Ferdinand's friend Rosanna is served instead...
 
Cow: Who's that in there?
 
Ferdinand: Her name's Rosanna. She had such a beautiful nature.
 
Babe: Oh, Ferdinand.
 
Ferdinand: I can't take it anymore.
 
Cow: Really!
 
Ferdinand: I'm not gonna be a goner. I'm gone.
 
PR: (mimicking Ferdinand): That we wish all of you the best of humanity.
 
(cut later, Ferdinand escapes from the farm, then Babe went to the sheep field...)
 
PR (v/o): So, Babe opens the gate prompting Ferdinand to escape the farm. But something was wrong with Maa, Babe went over to the sheep fields.
 
(Babe investigates the fields, where he witnesses two men stealing Hoggett's sheep with dogs barking, scaring many sheep off. Once, a flock of sheep jumping over the sheep in the field)
 
PR (v/o): And, hey! What are you jumping over the sheep in the field?
 
PR: It's like a lullaby sheep jumping over the clouds. (a briefly image of the flock of sheep jumping over the clouds is shown in the corner)
 
Maa: (to Babe) Young'un! You're alive!
 
Babe: What's happened? Who are these men?
 
Frank: I'll get him out. Come around, Sniff! (whistles)
 
(Frank's dog, Sniff ambushed and hits the pig, chasing him out in the field)
 
PR (v/o): So, the dog, Sniff, chased Babe under the fence and ran off to the farm. And we cut to the scene with...
 
(Farmer Hoggett's granddaughter opened the present, she is very ungrateful and rude, not to mention her crying is so very annoying and irritating. PR is seen groaning while covering his ears from her crying.)
 
Farmer Hoggett's Granddaughter: I want the house and I saw it on the television!
 
PR That girl you are seriously cutting off the nuts of my patience!
 
(Babe quickly alerts Fly, Rex and the farmer, preventing the thieves from taking the whole flock of sheep. They drove away from the field.)
 
PR (v/o): So, Babe justifies his existence by alerting Arthur Hoggett to sheep rustlers stealing sheep from one of the fields.
 
(Arthur Hoggett sees the metallic gate is knocked over by the truck drove away.)
 
PR (v/o, mimicking Arthur Hoggett): Are you kidding me? That's gonna knock it out of this thing.
 
(Arthur picks Babe with his arms, then he drives the truck and the sheep away. At night, the flock of sheep watches the fireworks far out)
 
PR (v/o): Yeah, that's enough with awful treatment for stealing several sheep. So, we cut to the scene at night. They stand in the field when it gets really dark, watching the fireworks pop out.
 
(cut to the farm, the firework pops as the boys watching the firework pops, a boy in the right screen, open the mouth in awe)
 
PR: Well, what is that? I mean, that boy opened his mouth joyfully to watch fireworks pop out.
 
PR (v/o): And, my God, he looks like (in the corner as a clip of...) Salvatore from Cinema Paradiso got a creepy smiley in his mouth.
 
(back to the movie...)
 
Esme: If it's not a duck that thinks it's a rooster, it's a pig that thinks it's a dog! (as the men laughs)
 
PR (v/o): Seriously, that fifth chapter title will come out easily.
 
(Babe, Fly and the other animals watch the fireworks popped out as the mice singing "Blue Moon")
 
PR (v/o): Hmm, I think I see some mice singing "Blue Moon" on the left screen.
 
PR: Still confused in the '80s, Universal had John Landis already do it. (a picture of An American Werewolf in London is shown in the corner)
 
(with that said, as we go to the commercial. We return to the next day, Hoggett sees Babe sort the hens, separating the brown from the white ones.)
 
PR (v/o): The next day, he sees Babe sort the hens, separating the brown from the white chickens. Which (a shot of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is shown where a chicken's head get cut off during the tunnel scene, but it is only onscreen for a split second in the middle) Willy Wonka got to kill the children out in that scene. That's how you G, right?
 
Hoggett's Son: You need to modernize, get some sort of cash flow going. You're still using a horse and cart, for God's sakes.
 
PR: You know, for kids.
 
PR (v/o): Impressed, he takes him to the fields and allows him to try and herd the sheep.
 
Babe: This is ridiculous, Mom. 
 
Fly: Nonsense, it’s only your first try. But you’re treating them like equals.
 
PR (v/o, mimicking Babe): But they're treating Animal Farm like "All animals are equal!", I think they actually do better than this.
 
Fly: Make them feel inferior, abuse them. Insult them.
 
Rex: Fly!
 
Babe: But they’ll laugh at me. 
 
Fly: Then bite them. Be ruthless.
 
PR (mimicking Babe): Okay, just be Chief Roofless who didn't do anything. (a shot of Chief Roofless from The Thief and the Cobbler is shown in the corner) 
 
Babe: [Move along there,] you big buttheads! (then the sheep laugh at Babe.)
 
(Babe growls and bites one of the sheep on the leg.)
 
PR: (v/o) I say! Who are you biting this leg? I mean, just because you don't show blood doesn't mean it's not gruesome!
 
PR: In fact, let's put some blood in that scene and see how it looks.
 
(the scene repeats as Babe bites one of the sheep on the leg, with blood effects by PR)
 
PR: Yeah. Disturbing.
 
Maa: I just finished telling them what a nice young pig you’ve been.
 
(Babe answers Maa sheepishly.)
 
Babe: Maa, I was just trying to be a sheepdog.
 
Maa: Huh! Enough wolves in the world without a nice lad like you turning nasty.
 
PR: (mimicking Maa): Just tell what Disney they had done Make Mine Music a prey. (a shot of the wolf from Make Mine Music in the corner)
 
Babe: I’m sorry I bit you. Are you alright? 
 
Sheep #2: Well, I wouldn’t call that a bite myself. 
 
Maa: You see, ladies, a heart of gold. 
 
All sheep together: Heart of gold.
 
PR: (confused) Wait a minute, is that a heart of gold with (a shot of...) Felix the Cat had to get used to it?
 
(Farmer Hoggett drove a carriage with Babe, Fly and Rex back to the farm. At night, Rex confronts Fly in a vicious fight for encouraging Babe.)
 
PR (v/o): So, they drive back to the farm after Fly stands up for him, Rex sees Babe's actions as an insult to sheepdogs and confronts the dog in a vicious fight to encourage the pig at night.
 
Rex: You put these ideas into his head! Two-faced TRAITOROUS WRET--!!!
 
PR (v/o, mimicking Rex, angrily): I HAD ENOUGH TO FIGHT THE CRAP OUT OF THIS SCENE!!
 
(Rex accidentally bites Arthur Hoggett's hand when he tries to intervene.)
 
PR (v/o): Good grief! (the camera zooms into Hoggett's hand bit by Rex, covered in blood) Look what he bit the farmer's hand!
 
PR: THIS IS A G MOVIE!
 
PR (v/o): When Rex muzzled and sedated, leaving the sheep-herding job to Babe. Then Fly tells him a story of Rex, who actually tries to kill a flock of sheep down and through the morning, he is barely alive in the flood. And this is what the story of Rex could remember. But the scenes where they play are funny and entertaining, but they don't really further that much. I know it strengthens the connection between these characters, I don't want to see them cut, but somehow, they could integrate their way into the story a bit stronger. I don't know. Wouldn't they be questioning him more or communicating with him more? I get a little kid acting this way, but a sheep pig playing around with them and just having a picnic the next day seems a little odd. But like I said before, these are minor issues, and are often followed by haunted-less emotional scenes.
 
(One of those "haunted-less emotional scenes" is shown, showing Babe has driven away the pack of feral Mitchell dogs that have attacked the sheep and gravelly injured Maa.)
 
Maa: Hello, little young'un.
 
PR: So, why are you covered in blood in a wool? That's as emotionally nasty and violent as G. What is the point? Is Maa actually dead? What do you have to be depressed about?
 
Maa: I don't reckon.
 
Babe: I'll get the boss up here to look after you. (voice breaking) You'll be alright...
 
(Maa lays her head down and breathes her last...)
 
Babe: Oh, Maa...! (bleating wail as tears stream down his face as the sheep crying and bleating along) MAAA-AAAA!
PR: (looked depressed, tearfully in a half) Hey. What are you crying with bleating all the time? It looks like to be annoying as well, but it's awkward sad as... (beat) God, it sounds like Free Willy having a crying call.
(a clip of Free Willy where Willy starts making his crying call.)
 
PR: God, stop that. Let's continue after the emotional scene.
 
(back to the farm, when Hoggett arrives and, thinking that Babe killed her, prepares to shoot him. Fly is so anxious to find out whether he is guilty or innocent that, instead of barking orders at the sheep, she talks to them to find out what happened.)
 
PR (v/o): So, Arthur thinks Babe killed Maa, but he was a sheep killer, then Fly finds out the truth, she talks to the flock to find out what happened.
 
Fly: Tell me. Who killed the old one?
 
Sheep: Wolf! 
 
Fly: Is that the only word you half-wits know?
 
Sheep #3: Babe!
 
Sheep #4: Where's Babe?
 
(the sheep calling "Babe!/Where's Babe?/Wolf!" at many times, Fly looked seriously what the sheep annoys her PR becomes annoyed as that exact moment repeats)
 
PR: I consider myself a reasonably strong person, but I'm not gonna lie...sheep calling "Babe!", "Where's Babe?" or "Wolf!" is kind of breaking me!
 
PR (v/o): I don't know who was beaten as a child to bring this scene to us, but it's breaking me!
 
Fly: QUIET!!!
 
PR: (freaked out) Okay, sure, now she yells "Quiet!" right.
 
Fly: Tell me what happened this morning.
 
PR: Seriously?
 
Sheep #4: The wolves killed Maa.
 
Sheep #5: [But] Babe drove the wolves away!
 
Fly: Thank you! Thank you all very much! (runs off)
 
Sheep #3: Pleasure talking to ya.
 
PR (mimicking the sheep): But I need to find an adoptive sheep in the sequel. (a shot of the sheep from Babe: Pig in the City is shown in the corner) And, yeah, that's better.
 
PR (v/o): The farmer has Travis Coates' shotgun with any black, shiny tube bullets, prepares to shoot Babe but Fly tries to distract her for long enough.
 
(Arthur Hoggett prepares to shoot Babe, his finger triggered a weapon; (PR adds snap to black in a splotch of blood and gunshot loudly) before THE END appears as a text with "Cantique de Jean Racine" plays)
 
PR: (his left hand open, shaking slowly) Okay, enough with that fake alternate ending, but let's continue this review again.
 
PR (v/o): So, Arthur prepares to kill Babe until Esme informs him about the Mitchell dogs' attacks on neighboring farms and asks him why he has taken his shotgun out. And, yeah, you quit that "Old Yeller" stuff reference back. We cut to when Esme leaves on a trip, Arthur signs Babe up for a local sheepherding competition. As it is raining the night before, he lets him and Fly into the house. Because also... this happens.
 
(Noticing, Arthur Hoggett gets in trouble. Babe's nose got scratched by Duchess, covered in blood)
 
PR: Good gracious God! (v/o): His nose got scratched by the cat, covered in little blood! Even the darkest Toei's fairytale got its foot pricked in that scene. (back to PR) It's saying (a show of The Wild Swans where adult Elisa's foot got pricked, covered in little blood in the corner; mimicking a kid's voice) "Hey, It's a G movie!"
 
(Hoggett immediately confines Duchess outside. Then, Ferdinand comes back in the farm and see Babe's injured where Arthur helps him in the window)
 
PR (v/o): So, Ferdinand comes back to the farm where they cleared to eat the duck a l'orange already for Christmas dinner off. And seeing Babe get injured where the farmer could help him.
 
(Ferdinand looked around at Duchess, he starts laughing)
 
PR (mimicking Ferdinand): Just like a joke name for a (a shot of The Aristocats poster in the corner) Disney movie! Ha-ha!
 
PR (v/o): On a rainy Friday night, Arthur has some dinner and watches the opera on TV with Babe and Fly. Because again, this happens with that jump-scare scene.
 
(Arthur Hoggett smiles at the operatic on TV, just suddenly a thunder crashes loudly which he startles when the power goes out!)
 
PR (v/o): Good God, this is how Raymond Briggs' war comic concludes like...
 
(a clip of When the Wind Blows is shown briefly)
 
James: The powers that be will get to us in the end.
 
PR: Well, that's a correct thing. But I think I should smell a rat. (as a quick clip of a black rat covered in the dried toilet where Hilda screams "Ohhh!" at offscreen is shown; back at PR, terrified, jumps a bit) Crumbs almighty!
 
(back to the movie)
 
PR (v/o): So, the cat (Duchess) returns to Babe, reading the story like it's all about (a shot of Family Guy is shown in the middle) Star Wars tales from Family Guy in the fireplace during the power went out.
 
Duchess (Russi Taylor): Feeling good about tomorrow, are you?
 
Babe: Mm-hmm. It should be all right, I think.
 
PR (v/o): So, yeah, I think they actually restored the power back on. But, what are you telling this story about? 
 
Duchess: How much the other animals are laughing at you for this sheepdog business. They even say that you don't know what pigs are for. The fact is that... pigs don't have a purpose.
 
PR: (confused and annoyed) You are mimicking your mouth lips like a basketball bounce... I mean, what powers didn't have any purpose?!
 
Duchess: Just like ducks don't have a purpose.
 
PR: Well, I didn't have any purpose for these powers, but...
 
Duchess: [All right,] for your own sake, I'll be blunt. Why do the bosses keep ducks? To eat them.
 
PR: All right, for God's sake! We had "P" words where you gotta bust him off! Why don't you read this shocking true story, you pussy?!
 
Duchess: The fact is that animals that don't seem to have a purpose really do have a purpose. They only call them pigs when they're alive.
 
(PR looked more annoyed a bit and mumbling “You suck!”, he pull out of a club and he whacks a cat and snap to black as the cat yowls from MouseHunt and fades in)
 
PR (v/o): So, Babe ran off to someone else, where Arthur, Fly and Rex searching for the sheep pig in the cloudy a bit morning; they found him in the tombstone without Scrooge, which he is not the large white pig he was. And Hoggett brings a horrified and demoralized Babe home, where he refuses to eat; and, yeah, he feeds him from a baby bottle and sings a public domain piece of a song is...
 
Arthur: (singing) If I had words... to make a day for you.
 
PR (v/o): Well, I think he likes to sing "If I Had Words" in a lullaby. But he actually sings a lullaby, then... (as Arthur dances in a jig) What? He dances with a jig?! Well, okay. He is actually dancing in a jig and finally he jumps in a slow-motion effect at the end.
 
(Arthur jumps as he finished to dance and shouts in joy, then the animals see Arthur Hoggett in the living room)
 
PR (v/o, mimicking Arthur Hoggett): For pity's sake, I think that scene is okay. (normal) But this restores Babe's faith in Hoggett's affection and he begins eating Napoleon's jam in the kitchen.
 
(Babe smacks lip at Arthur Hoggett, smiles)
 
PR (v/o, mimicking Babe): Tastes like PB&J conditioner!
 
PR (v/o): The Boss uses the phone on the fax to call about the competition, yet the power doesn't get restored to his house until he's at the competition.
 
Man on phone: You're listed third, but we can put you last in the program. However, you must be here by 3:30; otherwise you'll be disqualified.
 
PR (v/o; mimicking Arthur Hoggett): And don't forget when the power get restored, it will be better.
 
PR (v/o): At the competition, Babe meets the sheep that he will be herding, but they ignore his attempts to speak to them.
 
Babe: Excuse me, sheep. Oh, boy. (as the black sheep bleats) I've never met a sheep with such a strong, dark face.
 
PR (mimicking Babe): Troubles enough. But they had a racial content of Little Audrey treatment. (a shot of Petunia the Maid from Little Audrey is shown in the corner)
 
PR (v/o): As Arthur is criticized by the bemused judges and ridiculed by the public for using a pig instead of a dog, and...
 
Construction Man #1: Hey, that dog's in a hurry.
 
PR: Oh, God, is that power restored back? Yeah, you'd better be.
 
Construction Man #2: Uh, work completed. Restore power.
 
(the power went restored back...)
 
PR (v/o): Well, thank you! Rex runs back to the farm to ask the sheep what to do. They give him a secret password, first extracting a promise that he will treat them better from now on.
 
Sheep #2: Treat us civilly!
 
Sheep #3: No biting!
 
Sheep #1: 'Tis for Babe.
 
Sheep #4: Maa would have wanted it.
 
PR (v/o): Hey, is that how they put a secret password for it?
 
Sheep #1: Baa, ram, ewe.
 
Sheep: Bam, ram, ewe. To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true. Sheep be true. Baa, ram, ewe.
 
PR: That's how they put a secret password!
 
PR (v/o): So, Rex returns in time to convey the password to Babe, and the sheep now follow his instructions flawlessly.
 
Babe: Bam, ram, ewe. Bam, ram, ewe. To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true. Sheep be true. Baa, ram, ewe.
 
Black Sheep #1: Wh- What did you say?
 
PR: Good God! Are you actually talking?!
 
PR (v/o): Amid the crowd's acclamation, Babe proves himself in a sheep dog contest having courage by Rex and makes a perfect one, he is unanimously given the highest score. And Arthur closes the gate and he's done.
 
(Arthur closes the fence as the crowd cheers while he sits down next to the farmer and praises him with the standard command to sheep dogs that their job is done. Esme Hoggett watches it on TV while the other animals cheered happily at their job is finally done.)
 
PR (v/o): While he sits down next to the farmer, Hoggett praises him with the standard command to sheep dogs that their job is done. In their victory, a beam light appears from the clouds looks like a (a shot between Toccata and Fugue in D Minor and Ave Maria is shown in left and right) Fantasia setting, Arthur looked down at Babe, saying...
 
Arthur: That'll do, pig. That'll do.
 
(Babe sighs happily. And the circle closes at the end of the movie; finally before THE END appears as a text)
 
PR: And that was the original. It wasn't bad, ...well, okay, it was good, but it was mostly awkward.
 
(The clips from the movie play with the music)
 
PR (v/o): Well, I have to be honest. While they are technically good movies, I do have to admit that I actually do kind of enjoy them. Babe is actually kind of likeable and even the movie—for as haunted-less setting tone as it is—is actually kind of likeable, too. It’s a greatest pleasure to say the most. It’s silly, but it’s an enjoyable kind of silly pork. Talk about finding new respect for the sequel, my favorite movie. If I knew this is what we could have forgotten in its place, I would have immediately called the second one a masterpiece. As is, this is not a terrible movie for kids and adults, especially ones that watch the sequel. (a poster of Babe: Pig in the City is shown.)
 
PR: I remember liking this movie with some of the worst clichés, but I didn't remember anything dark in those scenes. They had to do dramatic intensity and disturbing-less scenes for a G-rated movie like...
 
(as the earlier scenes shown including Arthur kill the duck at off-screen, Rex accidentally bites Arthur Hoggett's hand, Babe's nose got scratched by Duchess as the cat yowls, Babe bites one of the sheep on the leg, and finally, the power goes out in the house which Hoggett notices)
 
PR (v/o): That was more intense than I remember. It's fun to watch, it didn't teach you creative thinking or how to get out of good situations; but this movie will do.
 
PR: I'm the Private Reviewer. I remember it because Nostalgia Critic doesn't. (gets up and leaves)
 
(the credits roll)
 
Tagline - Babe: You see, I'm not allowed to... Oops.
Category:The Private Reviewer
Category:Babe
Category:Transcripts