Shenanigans: Episode 090

__NOTOC__
==Recap==
The party are eating soup in Shenanigans and it tastes salty. Nach finds that Borch Thunderbowls, the Orc Chef of Shenanigans, is crying in the kitchen into the soup. Borch is sad over his wife divorcing him and being very lonely. Borch then runs off into the streets of Bergshire crying.
Nach takes over the kitchen and finishes cooking the soup, improving the recipes as he goes. Nach & Howard decide to find Borch a Orcish Woman to date. Desmond the bartender opens up a map and points out locations Orcs Tribes can be found in the local region a lot to the south. 
The party head out into the Westgrove Forest and encounter a Chimera. Nach is impressed by the Chimera as he will be able to gather 5 different kind of meats from it, so goes in to attack the beast and kills it in 2 hits with his fists. Howard is terrified, but stays with Nach because he could never out run him.
Nach sets up his pavilion tent and begins to cook the Chimera parts, Eel, Bat, Lion, Goat, Dragon.
As Nach is cooking a heavily armed 12 Orc Raiding party come across the dead Chimera and the party. Nach offers them a meal. The Captain of the Orc Brigade, Gertrude, does not believe the party's story about killing the Chimera so she orders an underling named Crash to kill Nach. Nach kills the Orc in one punch accidentally, he was trying to do a non-lethal punch.
The Orcs says they want Nach to meet their leader and fight them in single combat, but Nach insists on finishing cooking the meal. 3 Orcs then try to take Howard hostage to force the issue, but Howard casts "Hold Person" on 2 of the Orcs. The Orc stabs Howard before Nach can knock him out. The other 8 Orcs retreat, ignoring Nach's offer of a meal for them.
When the "Hold Person" spell wears off Howard talks with a female Orc about if she wants to date Borch, but she retreats with the other Orcs. Nach assumes they want to play before Dinner, but they'll be back.
Later 80 Orcs arrive outside the Tent, lead by the Orc Warchieftain Gratilda of Australia. She is wearing bronzed bone armor and carries a large Obsidian Sword and a Green Shield, maybe made of small green dragonscales. Orc Warchieftain Gratilda approaches the Tent alone. Nach brings up Borch The Orc Warchieftain says Borch is a one-tusked coward who lives with humans. Borch once ruled an Orc tribe until he was bested by Desmond Tutu.
Nach agrees to fight Gratilda after a meal. Nach serves out a meal to as many people as he can.
Everyone then travels to the traditional Orcish Fighting Pits. On the way Nach asks about how he can find someone for Borch, and Gratilda explains it is in the aftermath of battle that Orcs find partners. The Orc Brigade Captain Gertrude says that they cannot decide if Borch is worthy if they haven't even seen him in battle.
Nach decides that he must become the Avatar of Borch Thunderbowls if he is to find him a partner, so he paints himself green and eats a lot of Soybeans to he can truly be a Thunderbowls. 
It is evening when the Orc Army & the party arrive at the Orcish Fighting Pits. A wooden circular arena with a pit with oiled walls to prevent climbing. There are spikes built along the edges of the area, but they look entirely decorative. The base of the arena is sand, somehow.
Nach & Gratilda enter the pit and the fight begins. Nach's first action is to snap Gratilda's axe haft in half. Nach and Gratilda exchange blows, with Gratilda using the Axehead and Nach using bare hands. The fight is even, but eventually Nach is defeated and knocked to the ground.
Howard enters the pit to heal Gratila, but she says all who enter the pit must fight or die, so she attacks Howard. Howard casts "Hold Person" on Gratilda, freezing her. Howard then kills the frozen person. The crowd goes silent then heals up Nach. Howard also takes Gratilda's Bowie Knife named "David".
Fighting breaks out between some Orc Factions. One of the orcs lowers a rope for Nach & Howard to get out of the arena. 
Captain of the Orc Brigade, Gertrude, approaches the party, saying they defeated Gratila through dishonourable means, but it is still a victory. Howard cannot become the new Warchief. Howard is fine with that, and he shouts out for volunteers to date Borch. 
Gertrude agrees come meet Borch, along with 5 of her sisters. The party head back towards Shenanigans. Howard casts detect magic on the Bowie Knife, and it has an aura of illusion on it.
The party travel all night and get back to Bergshire around dawn. The party lead the Orcs inside Shenanigans. Borch sees the Orc women and retreats to the kitchen. Howard talks to Borch and explains what happened with Gratilda. Borch heads home to get changed.
After some tome Borch comes back to Shenanigans in his Chainmail armor, wearing a fake horn over his broken horn. He slams his battle axe on the table to tell Nach to shut up, and to establish dominance.
The Orcs and Borch leave and fight somethings to see if they are compatible.
The next day Borch returns with only 3 other orcs, Gertrude, Grumblelina, & Gronk. Nach sets up a hot water tub for the Orcs to use. Afterwards he sets up a "Dating Game" style questions session inside Shenanigans itself. This reduces the number of Orc ladies to 2 with Gronk leaving.
The next round is Gertrude & Grumblelina talking with Nach and Howard.
Orc ends up choosing Grumblelina to date and go out to hunt Bugbears.
==Experience==
7050 exp each
*Howard levels up to level 5
**Max HP from 40 to 46
== Significant NPCs ==
* Borch Thunderbowls - Orcish Chef at Shenanigans
* Gratilda - Orc Warchieftain of Australia, commands at least 80 Orcs, Level 9 Fighter
* Gertrude - Orc Brigade Captain
* Grumblelina - Orc, Sister of the Orc Captain
* Gronk - Orc, Sister of the Orc Captain, Unhappy to be part of the silliness
== Significant Locations ==
*Bergshire - Shenanigans
*Orc Arena
Category:Shenanigans Episodes