Cleaning Out My Closet

"Cleaning Out My Closet" is a song by American rapper and singer Angel Haze, which details the repeated sexual abuse sheAngel Haze is agender and prefers she/her pronouns. went through between ages 7-10, that followed by suicidal ideation, self-hatred, and an eating disorder."Angel Haze Cleaning Out My Closet Video Review: Hip Hop Reinvented with Raw Humanity". Mic. October 28, 2012. It remixes Eminem's song of the same name and was uploaded to her SoundCloud account on October 23, 2012, a few days ahead of the drop of her mixtape, Classick (2012).Coplan, Chris (October 23, 2012). "New Music: Angel Haze - "Cleaning Out My Closet"". Consequence of Sound.
Despite Eminem's history of misogynistic and violence towards women lyrics, seemingly going against Haze's feminist identity, Haze said, "I love Eminem for the fact that he uses violent sexual imagery. People don't really get the extent that Eminem's music is emotionally driven. For me, he is clear from my line of fire because I love everything he's done."
== Background ==
"Cleaning Out of My Closet" was created impulsively, rather than thinking about it. Whilst on their way to the BET Awards, she wrote the song on the plane and cried. She was afraid of releasing it, as people could use it against her. They admitted, "To be honest, I just hoped it wouldn't get noticed. But it was the exact opposite." She added, "I guess it was good that it got noticed because I got so many people messaging me, more boys than girls actually, who have had the same experience. It really helped me and I think it helped them too. I don't think of sex the same way, I can't. I wanted to kill myself. I felt violated, you know?"Diu, Nisha Lilia (October 13, 2013). "Interview: Angel Haze, the Rapper Fighting Rape Culture". The Telegraph.
She shared to The Guardian, "Then I listened back, I felt disgusted. I wanted everyone to feel that. It was good that they felt it, because it was fucking wrong. I want someone who's a father to listen to the song, and be like: 'No one had better ever fucking touch my daughter like that. And if they do, you can tell me.'" She continued, "There are people who go through this shit every day, and people turn a blind eye. They're too scared to say what happened to them. To make people feel uncomfortable." Haze's own rapists were never convicted, and she stated, "Yet everyone seems to know. I want to say I want to bring a case, but I honestly don't know how or where to begin. They'll say, it doesn't matter any more. It was 10 years ago. They'll say it was too long ago."Macpherson, Alex (January 31, 2013). "Rapper Angel Haze on Religion, Rape and Survival". The Guardian.
To BBC News, she said, "When I wrote it I cried like a baby in the studio. When you open up and give so much of yourself to the world, to the public, it feels like it's almost your dying day. I just let go in the studio and wrote. And when it came out, people were like, 'Oh my god you helped me, you told my story.' It was so worth it. At that moment I didn't care about anything else. It helped at least one person. It's like 'wow—that's a magnificent feeling.' I don't regret it. Had none of that stuff ever happened, I wouldn't be the artist I am today."Cochrane, Greg (January 2, 2013). "BBC Sound of 2013: Angel Haze". BBC News.
== Critical reception ==
Spins Chris Martins wrote of the powerful and graphic imagery, "What follows is brutally heavy and, yes, explicit, but every detail goes to exposing the horrors of rape, with equal attention to the physical and mental anguish endured by the victim."Martins, Chris (October 23, 2012). "Angel Haze Recounts Sexual Assault on Eminem-Sampling 'Cleaning Out My Closet'". Spin. Kyle Anderson of Entertainment Weekly penned, "Haze lays out a harrowing, damning narrative about being raped at 10 years old, setting up a pattern of abuse that haunted her throughout her next decade. It's a pretty intense listen, but it's also one of the most bracing, intense, personal, and hard-hitting rap songs you'll hear all year."Anderson, Kyle (October 24, 2012). "Angel Haze Spins Graphic Narrative of Sexual Abuse on 'Cleaning Out My Closet'". Entertainment Weekly. Pitchfork editor Lindsay Zoladz assessed what made the track powerful was its "plainspoken clarity," where "Haze forces the listener to confront the realities in lucid detail," adding it to be "an unforgettable four and a half minutes of music that leaves you feeling emotionally spent but also comforted to be in the care of an expert, fearless storyteller."Zoladz, Lindsay (November 2, 2012). "Angel Haze: Classick". Pitchfork.
Vibes Adelle Platon analyzed, "The remainder of the track—including vivid descriptions of abrasions and violent plots for revenge—becomes incredibly uncomfortable to digest. Yet by song's end, poignant emotions creep in: fear of a man's touch, vulnerability, attraction to the same sex and self-hatred." Platon added, "By song's end, we realize we are the abusers. We've let female rap predecessors dictate that success is based on sex."Platon, Adelle (October 26, 2012). "Why Angel Haze's "Cleanin' Out My Closet" Is Necessary for Female Rap". Vibe. Richard Spadine from DJBooth weighed in, "the NYC resident proceeds to graphically recount her repeated sexual assaults at the hands of a family member, and the devastating psychological fallout that reverberated through much of her life. On the back, Haze reminds us that living well is the best revenge, and encourages those in similar situations to turn their trauma into the beginning of a success story."Spadine, Richard (October 23, 2012). "Angel Haze - Cleaning Out My Closet". DJBooth.
In a retrospective review, Dazed believed the track set Haze "apart from run of the mill rappers and demonstrative of an artist unafraid to reach into their past in order to create."Azeez-Harris, Semper (January 27, 2016). "Angel Haze Is Building a Paradise Out of Pain". Dazed. In an article asserting how rap can help end rape culture, The Atlantic opined, "Haze unapologetically and explicitly tells her story, and her jagged delivery makes listeners uncomfortable even as they appreciate her skills and flow. There are no words for the pain Haze endures, but she makes due, bending each phrase with fury and focus. She describes how the damage of abuse bleeds into every area of her life, including her relationships with future lovers, her family, and her personality, body image, and physical health. […] Without warriors like Haze, the baseness and sickness of sexual violence remains muffled, and the conversation proceeds on the deranged terms set by Mourdock, Akin, and others who benefit from the status quo. Survivors' stories move us away from clarification and apology, towards righteous anger and action, and hip-hop can help."Jeffries, Michael P. (October 30, 2012). "How Rap Can Help End Rape Culture". The Atlantic.
== Lyrics ==
== References ==
Category:2012 songs
Category:Angel Haze songs
Category:Classick
Category:Explicit songs
Category:Songs