The End Is Near actors during the apocalypse

This is about The End Is Near movie cast spending time together during the apocalypse.
==Prologue==
(The actors managed to get inside a bigger house. Michael Cera shared a hug with Emma Watson. The other actors are breathing heavily and they lock the door. Only four of them didn't make it: Rupert Grint's fell into the pit, Johnny Depp got impaled by a falling street light, and Peter DeLuise got his head crushed. They now believe Michael about the earthquakes and also believe him when it's revealed to be the apocalypse. They decide to see the news.)
*Newswoman (on T.V.): (serious) "Attention! There has been earthquakes, hellfire, and falling objects. Please stay in your homes at all cost."
(The news channel shuts off and the other news reports that other cities are suffering the same thing. Emma put her hand to her mouth in horror as Michael comforts her.)
*Drake: (sighs) "Oh man, I can't believe this is happening."
*Josh: (agreeing) "No shit."
*Tom: (yelling) "Guys, come to the bathroom. There's someone in there."
(They go to the bathroom and are shocked to see who it is.)
*Luke: (annoyed) "You gotta be fucking kidding me."
(It was Jack Black in the bathtub sleeping and puffing smoke. An explosion is heard and then Jack wakes up before seeing the others.)
*Jack: (smiling) "Hey guys. (they were happy to see him and Michael hugs him) Hey buddy. What's wrong?"
(Later, they tell him everything and he goes upstairs to see what's happening. He was also horrified to see the chaos and madness.)
*Jay: (upset) "It's complete chaos out there."
*Seth: (agreeing) "Fuck yeah it is."
(They all take care of the supplies and go to their beds. Michael and Emma are sleeping together and cuddled next to each other but they are hearing what's out there.)
*Michael: (sighs) "I really hate this."
*Emma: (agreeing) "Me too."
(They hear something approaching. Michael covers Emma's mouth to make sure she doesn't scream and she doesn't stop him. They hear it talking to someone.)
*Satan (outside): (stern) "Report, Demon Wing."
*Demon Wing (outside): (nervous) "My Lord, we're a bit behind."
*Satan (outside): (angry) "Oh really?"
(They hear the leader punish his minion.)
*Demon Wing (outside): (wincing) "I mean we're getting on schedule."
*Satan (outside): (stern) "Good. Get more victims or else I'm gonna be angry as Anger from Inside Out."
*Demon Wing (outside): (nervous) "Sir, I regret to inform you that this place is locked down."
*Satan (outside): (angry) "FUCK! (then he calms down) Oh well, destroy other buildings out there."
*Demon Wing (outside): (bowing) "Yes, Lord Satan."
(It leaves. Michael lets go of Emma's mouth and they were scared.)
*Michael: (scared) "It's the devil himself."
*Emma: (agreeing) "That means we're in trouble."
(Later during the night, Chris, Mila, Jonah, and Brie went to sleep with them. Nicolas slept away from them and passed out drunk.)
==Chapter 1: Top 10 Male Characters in The End Is Near==
(The next morning, they find videos about the apocalypse and God has come to show them the videos. Number 10 is Leonardo DiCaprio and they were still not happy to hear that he cheated on Emma but did wince at him getting a brutal death by Nicholas D'Agosto, who apologized for it.)
*Michael: (wincing) "I might hate the guy and all but even he didn't deserve that."
*Emma: (agreeing) "Yeah, I wouldn't wish that on him."
(DiCaprio looked shocked at what they said but also knew he was hated because of what he did. Even he knows that wasn't right. Number 9 is Luke Evans and everyone facepalmed at his death but were disgusted by it.)
*God: (annoyed) "Mr. Evans, when you get raptured, you don't brag about it. That's Vanity."
(Luke also facepalmed at causing himself a disgusting death. Number 8 is Dane Dehaan and everyone glared at him for not only purposefully pushing Michael into the pit but also praying to Satan to kill Michael. Emma had to be held back from killing Dehaan. Number 7 is Drake Bell and everyone was happy to see he was one of the co-stars but they did wince at his death and glare at DiCaprio for causing it. Number 6 is Josh Peck and he shared a brotherly hug with Drake over it. Number 5 is Tom Welling and is on the top 5 list because his death is the sole reason why Michael wants to keep everyone safe. Tom gives his friend a bear hug to reassure him that his death was not Michael's fault since they both didn't expect for an apocalypse to happen. Number 4 is Jack Black and his reason for not being raptured is because of drinking too much alcohol after believing people only like him for comedy, making other feel bad for him.)
*Michael: (sympathetic) "Jack, we love you man. You're our best friend. I considered you a true friend."
(Jack smiles at his friend. They were sad to see him become a cannibal but cheered when he was redeemed and sent to Heaven with his former cult. Number 3 is Jonah Hill and his reason for not being raptured is because he got in a bar fight which resulted in him putting a broken glass bottle in a racist man's eye, making everyone gasp at that.)
*Jonah: (guilty) "I don't know what came over me."
*Michael: (sympathetic) "It's not your fault. That guy was a horrible man and you acted in self-defense."
(They all laughed every time he smoked his bong at the beginning of his confessionals, they all cheer when he stood up to two demons before being raptured into Heaven, and they were thankful for being resurrected by him. Number 2 is Christopher Mintz-Plasse and his reason for not being raptured is because he assaulted a rude couple with a wrench for cutting in line, making everyone wince.)
*DiCaprio: (wincing) "I'm never cutting in line again."
*Chris: (guilty) "I did that because when I asked them to go to back of the line, they told me to go fuck myself."
(They always said awe at his bromance with Michael and Chris, they laugh at his funny moments, they cheered when he threw a small Football at a racist employee, and cheer even more for getting raptured because he was sacrificing himself to save Michael from Satan. Number 1 is Michael Cera and is first seen as deserving to go to Heaven because of being the only group member not doing drug or drinking. He also is very likeable because he's the only one who believes in the apocalypse and tries to save others. When Dane, Luke, or DiCaprio insult his friends, he gets in fights with them. He pretty much the most honorable one.)
*Emma: (cheering) "He deserves it."
(However, they were shocked to hear that during the confrontation with Satan, Michael confessed that he hates himself for not being able to save any friends that die and still blames himself for a car accident that he was not hated for. Everyone feels sympathy for him and Emma comforts him.)
*God: (sympathetic) "Mr. Cera, you have not committed any sin but you are always blaming yourself for somethings that are not your fault. You must overcome it and think about how it makes your friends feel."
*Michael: (smiling) "Yes, dear lord."
(The girls say awe at how he acts like a big brother to Chris, they all cheer when he acts like a leader, they all like his confessionals, they cried when he lost Emma to one of the demons, they all cheered when he punched Dane in the face for insulting Jack Black, they all clap when he defeated a demon in bullfighting, and they finally cheered when he killed a possessed Dane.)
*Emma: (cheering) "That's my man, the demon killer."
(Indeed, he got a lot of cheers from fans for killing that bad guy. They said awe when he shared a final hug with Chris before being raptured and cheered when he went to Heaven. He's even declared the main protagonist of the film.)
*Jonah: (smiling) "Michael, you're the true hero now. You acted like a real leader. You and Chris also lasted longer than any of us."
(Michael smiles and accepts being the protagonist because he acts like the film's sweetheart and fans even try accepting him for pure good approval.)
==Top Six Female Characters in The End Is Near==
(They now look at the female characters. Number 6 is Alice Eve and everyone felt bad for her only being seen making out with Brian before she is killed and she was embarrassed by it. Number 5 is Emma Roberts a.k.a. Jill and Emma was angry at her for trying to steal Michael, who wasn't in a good mood about it either. They both look away in disgust at her giving DiCaprio a BJ in the bathroom but are relieved that it's censored. Even God was disgusted.)
*Chris: (disgusted) "Michael, why didn't you tell me about that? I would've never used that bathroom now."
*Michael: (groaning) "Because I don't want to remember that."
*Daniel: (understanding) "I don't blame you, mate."
*Rupert: (agreeing) "Yeah, that's bloody disgusting."
*Emma: (disgusted) "It's worst than the time that I caught DiCaprio having a three way BJ in the bathroom during the party."
(Everyone groaned in disgust at that. Number 4 is Rihanna and she got cheers for slapping DiCaprio across the right cheek because he spanked her. Number 3 is Brie Larson and they laugh at the extended scene where she is dancing up to Jonah's groin.)
*Emma: (cheering) "You go girl."
*Mila: (agreeing) "Get your man."
(She pouted at her best-friends because of how mean they are. Number 2 is Mila Kunis and they cheered when they saw her beat DiCaprio and throw him in the pool.)
*Mila: (prideful) "That's what happens when you mess with my friends bitch."
Category:Apocalypse