Transcripts 2000-04

Transcripts from April 2000 strips.
==April 1==
Guest comic by John Myers
Headernow reads, "S.S.D.D. by A. Foreman, mangled by J. Myers (c) 2000 Alan Foreman http://www.poisonedminds.comPanel 1Norman is giving a smug sneer and rubbing his hands together.Norman: Come on Anne. Just one more for me and Kingston. And then we'll quit buggin' you. I promise. Ok? Ok?Panel 2Anne has a sultry look as she raises a finger into the air.Anne: Ok! Ok!!! One more, and then that's it! Understand? This is the last one!Panel 3Kingston and Norman look engrossed by what Anne (facing away from the camera) is doing. Kingston has a goofy grin while Norman looks pleased, pumping a fist.Kingston: Dude! She's taking the whole thing! That's so hot!Norman: That's it baby, nice and slow for Normy. Kingston, quick! Go get the video camera!Panel 4Anne is facing the camera again, this time holding up a half-peeled banana with the top bitten off.Anne: Alright! Now you've crossed the line! There is no way I am going to let you two PERVERTS video tape me eating a BANANA!Off-panel (Kingston? based on placement): How 'bout a pickle then?FooterWhen not mangling up S.S.D.D. J. Myers mangles up The Mr. Chuck Show at www.mrchuckshow.comHTML footerAn extra comic for April 1st. Fool anyone? :)'Art' and 'Writing' by John Myers of 'The Mr Chuck Show' so blame him!mailto:myers@mrchuckshow.comLook here! I buggered up his strip too! <- 'is site.Now you know!
 Caption
Back to 	Forwards to
Soap on a Rope / Super Jr	Suburban Jungle / The Changing Workplace
Oh yeah, other people are swaping too, but who cares about them?
==April 3==
Panel 1Richard and Anne are in the back seat of a car, looking a bit out of it.Richard: Man that was one hell of a party! I just *know* I'm going to regret that in the morning!Anne: I'm regretting it already! I can't feel my legs anymore!Panels 2 & 3The car swerves back and forth, rocking Richard and Anne uncomfortably first to the camera's left, then to the camera's right, as a "SCREEEECH" sound effect fills the tops of the panels.Anne (panel 3): AAAAAAAAARRR! Was it such a good idea to let Kingston drive?Panel 4Richard and Anne both look even woozier than before.Richard: Well we've both been knocking back Newcastle Browns all night. He's the only one who hasn't touched a drop!Anne: It's true that Kingston hasn't had a drop to drink tonight...Panel 5Kingston is sitting in the driver's seat (right side, British car) and looking stoned. Anne peeks her head forward while holding onto the front passenger seat while Richard ducks down, eyes wide.Anne: But all that shit he's been smoking all night shadows the fact that he doesn't even have a driver's license!Kingston: WEEEE! Hay, watch me ram this police car! HE, HE, HA HA
==April 10==
Panel 1Norman is clutching a ticket and shouting at a television (which seems to be a different model from prior strips).Norman: GET THE F**KING HELL BACK UP YOU STUPID HORSE! I'VE GOT 20 QUID RIDING ON YOU, YOU BASTARD!Panel 2Norman is staring at the telly.Announcer: The vet is now over and is shaking his head... They are bringing over a tarpaulin and the vet has brought out a gun...Panel 3Norman winces as a "BANG" sound effect comes from the telly.Panel 4Close-up of Norman's angry eyes and "GRRRR!" sound effect.Announcer: It seems that this course has claimed the life of another horse, but you have to ask how an animal that was blind in one eye could possibly be entered into the Grand National and who in their right mind would bet on a horse that had no chance of finishing, let alone win!Panel 5Richard gives Norman a disappointed look, while Norman glares at him with a thundercloud over his head, wadding up the betting ticket in his hand.Richard: As a rule you don't bet on a half blind horse that will brake it's legs on the first jump, even at 500 to 1, but an unwritten rule states that you should never put money on a horse called "Glue Pot"!Norman: If you value your life I would shut up right NOW!
==April 17==
Panel 1Renata Fayre is reporting at an undisclosed location in America. There is a "KPET news" lower third and an airborne Molotov cocktail and dust cloud from a riot in the background.Renata: You join us know at what seems to be another outburst of random violence. This is the seventh riot in the America in the last two weeks where there seems to be no real motive for the upset ant hte only thing links pervious riots are tourist attractions...Panel 2Renata turns to her left, freaking out. "KPET news" is still visible.Renata: KEVIN! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!Panel 3Kevin (the camera-dog) either falls or drops the camera, as the scene tilts upwards at an angle with a "WHAM!" with "KPET n—" still visible.Panel 4Static and a "H I S S S S" sound effect going downwards.Panel 5Richard is sitting on the couch and playing a console game. Norman walks in behind the couch, grinning and holding a handheld professional video camera with KPET written on it.Richard: Back from your holiday I see. How was America then?Norman: Great! I started a few fights and I also picked up a video camera! Bar a few blood stains it's as good as new!Richard: That's nice. What did you get me then?
==April 24==
Panel 1A silhouetted burglar sneaks up to a window in a dark room with a "creek" sound effect. Only the burglar's eyes are visible.Burglar (thinking): Man this window is a piece of crap! I'll have this open and will be in and out with the video within a minute!Panel 2The burglar has opened the window and is entering the room.Burglar (thinking): Hell I was even warned not to do this house because of the good security system!Burglar (thinking): Some system! I'm in and there's not a hint of any alarms!Panel 3Other than his(?) eyes, the burglar is barely visible with a faint glow from what there is of the exterior light. An arrow points down as an indicator of panel order.Panel 4The burglar looks upward. An arrow points down as an indicator of panel order.Panel 5The burglar continues, unaware of Norman behind him. Norman's eyes, teeth, and dim outline are visible.Panel 6Norman laughs with a "*SNIGGER*" to alert the burglar, who has wide eyes and an exclamation point overhead. An arrow points down as an indicator of panel order.Panel 7Norman's mouth opens wide as he bares all of his teeth, and the burglar's eyes grow even wider in fear.Panel 8Anne awakes and sits up, silhouetted in the darkness, and hears an "AAAA!" and "*snap*" sound effects.Anne: What the!?!Panel 9Anne is still sitting up, looking distressed. Richard is lying on his stomach with his face to one side, clearly unimpressed with the event.Anne: RICHARD! Did you just hear a blood curdling scream?Richard: It's just the "security system" cutting in.Oh and if Norman offers you a meat pie tomorrow, remember to ask him what's in it!
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