The Rival

==Birth of Anais==
::
:: Just close your eyes and breathe deeply. You can do this.
::
:: It's only driving a car, it's only driving a—
:: WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M THE ONE WHO NEEDS HELP HERE!!!!!! YOU SAID YOU READ THE BABY BOOKS THIS TIME!!!!!!
:: I did read them. But there was nothing about handling this level of stress in "The Ugly Duckling"!
:: NOT THE BOOKS FOR BABIES, THE BOOKS ABOUT BABIES!!!!!!!!!
:: Stop screaming at me! All you have to do right now is not have a baby, You do that every day! I'm just asking for a little sympathy here.
:: HOW ABOUT SOME SYMPATHY PAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
:: There you go. Make yourself comfortable.
:: I, for one, cannot wait to meet our new little sister.
:: I know, right? It'll really improve our game of Knights and Princesses.
::
:: And having a sister will make us better listeners.
:: Exactly. And having a sister will make us better listeners. Plus we'll look cool when we protect her from bullies.
::
:: Why, you little—
::
:: Okay, maybe not.
::
:: But at least she'll hook us up with her friends when the time comes for us to get married.
::
:: I don't know, man. They'll always be a lot younger than us.
:: But if we take good care of them, they can return the favor when we're old.
::
:: Oh, yeah.
::
:: Well, either way, I can't wait to meet her.
:: SHE'S COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: I mean, I could wait a little.
:: Hold on, honey. We're almost there. I just have to park.
:: NO TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: We'll use the drive-through.
:: THERE ISN'T A DRIVE-THOUGH AT THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::
:: Push!
::
:: Congratulations!
::
:: There is now!
:: Boys, say hello to your little sister. 
::
: and : Anais!
:: Aww, look at her.
:: She's so sweet, she's given me cavities. Um, dude I— I think you had a little accident.
::
:: It's just my heart melting.
::
==Thinking Up a Strategy==
::
:: And here we witness the delicated first seconds in the life of a great bald eagle. But who would expect such a sweet chick to also be a natural born killer?
::
:: If sharing is caring, then this is the eagle that just don't care.
::
:: There's no way Anais would have pushed us out of the car on purpose. You know why? Because all babies are born innocent.
:: And if you thought all babies were born innocent, check out these baby sharks eating each other before they were even born!
::
:: Wait. Maybe she did it because she was scared? So what do people do when someone's scared?
:: Hmm. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE BEING HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: Okay, I meant what do morally well-balanced people do when they're scared? We show her how much we love her.
:: I LOVE YOU AND VALUE YOUR COMPANIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::
:: That's better. See? Happy baby!
==Struggles of Being Anais' Brothers==
::
:: Hey, Anais. What's that you're drawing?
::
:: Oh. Very good. Is that Mommy?
:: Mm.
:: And Mister Daddy?
:: Mm.
:: And where are we?
::
:: Oh, we're the flowers?
:: Mnh-mnh. 
:: Oh. Right. Er, let's play a game. You want to play a game?
::
:: Okay, this one is called hide and seek. We close our eyes and count, and you hide. Ready?
:: Mm.
: and : One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ten! Ready or not, here we come!
::
:: Hey! Where are you going?! That was terrifying.
:: Yeah, well, at least your soul was going upwards.
::
:: All right, I've had enough of you. You're going right back to where you came from.
::
:: Hey, what's that? 
:: "No one loves you. Signed, Gumball and Darwin." I would never write something like that.
::
:: "No won luvs u." Well, yeah, that's more like it.
:: What is going on here?
:: Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh. Mm-hmm. 
: and : It's a trap! 
::
:: Listen, I'm not jealous. It's just, you know how adopting Darwin really brightened everyone's lives? Well, don't you think it's time we gave that gift of happiness to another family? And by "that gift of happiness," I mean Anais. And by "another family," I mean a pack of scavenging hyenas.
:: Look, I understand. You're no longer the babies of the house, and that's a big adjustment. It was difficult for your father, as well.
::
:: But just because there's a new baby in the house doesn't mean I'll love you any less.
:: So you mean love multiplies?
:: No, it divides. But I'll take the difference from your dad's portion and hope our marriage survives until you go to college.
:: Mm-hmm. Wait, what?
:: Now, let's hug.
::
==Declaration of a Baby War==
:: "This is war. War does not determine who is right, only who is left." 
::
:: Maybe, Mrs. Mom was right. Anais isn't the problem. We are. Come on, let's play with her.
: and : Peek-a-boo. 
::
:: Hmm. Let's try it with funnier faces.
: and : Peek-a-boo. 
::
:: Oh, come on.
: and : Peek-aaaaaaaaa…
::
:: …boom.
::
:: Huh? Mm.
::
:: I'm gonna go for a drive. 
:: Darwin, no! 
::
:: What has she done to our cereal?
:: Mm, it looks okay.
:: Why's she doing the face, then?
:: There's enough sugar in here to clog your arteries in a couple of spoonfuls.
:: I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!! I'M GETTING ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!! Oh, thank you.
::
:: GET AWAY!!!!!!!!! 
:: There, there. You know what they say. What doesn't kill you—
:: WE'LL TRY AGAIN LATER!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE TO COUNTER-ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!
:: But how? She's smarter than us.
:: "OMG! I got feet!" 
:: Yeah, she might be terrifyingly intelligent for her age, but she's still her age.
==Tricking Anais==
::
:: Ha! You fool! You fell into our trap. You lose. Hear our superior laughter.
::
:: And now we're gonna send you as unlabelled meat to the dog-food factory.
::
:: So no one's actually coming to collect her?
:: 'Course not. We're just gonna leave her outside until she's stewed long enough for her cold, dark heart to melt a little.
:: Oh my gosh, that's horrible.
:: It's fine. We're only giving her a little scare to assert our authority.
:: No, I meant that's horrible.
::
:: Gumball!
:: Oh, yeah, sorry. It's your turn to pass out now.
::
:: ANAIS?!?!?!?! WHERE ARE YOU??!!!??!!!?!?!
:: THERE!!!!!! LOOK!!!!!!!!!!
::
:: NO! We have to save her. Oh, ha. I guess there is an advantage to being two-D. 
::
:: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::
:: Good work, buddy! 
::
:: Oh, come on.
::
:: I really wish Mom didn't raise me so well, 'cause this deserves a much stronger cuss word than FIDDLESTIIIIIICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
::
:: Anais! WE'RE SO SORRY!!!!!!!
:: WE'RE SO, SO SORRY!!!!
:: SO SORRY!!!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!
::
:: Huh? ANAIS, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!
:: ANAIS, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
:: ANAIS!!!!!!! ANAIS, WHERE ARE YOU??!!!?!?!
::
:: "Peek-a-bye; Time to fly the nest!" 
: and : ANAIS!!!!!!!! 
:: We thought you were gone!
:: We— we— we thought we'd lost you.
::
:: Gah…
:: Oh, my gosh, her first words!
:: Gumbhh…
:: Yes, yes, "Gumball." It's me. She's trying to say my name.
:: Gum-gum…
: and : Yes?
:: GUMBALL DID IT!
::
Category:The Amazing World of Gumball Transcripts