The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie VII: The Curse of the Half-Blood Princess or Something

is a 2032 animated feature film based off of the SpongeBob SquarePants television series.
Due to requests from fans, Viacom fast-tracked development of a new SpongeBob film starting another storyline, utilizing a previously-rejected pitch for The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie VI: The Great Regime penned by Roger Ebert and Russ Meyer's ghosts. Gabriela Cowperthwaite was brought in to direct the film because somebody in the office was an animal rights freak obsessed with Blackfish and because another person in the office thought Megan Leavey was good.
Due to scathingly negative audience reactions to previews, Viacom removed Gabriela Cowperthwaite from the film and brought on Brad Bird as director; due to this, much of the film had to be reshot to remove social commentary and add more running gags. J.K. Rowling was hired midway to provide rewrites for the "very dull" script, re-adding much of the social commentary but also adding plotholes and unintentional running gags, resulting in even more reshoots. The film was shot entirely on location in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada due to Andy (of What's with Andy? infamy) pranking Paramount into accepting Canadian production tax credits.
The movie was followed by The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie VIII: Follow That Boid, a similar crossover with Fish and Others and the Chuck E. Cheese's/Rock-afire Explosion fandom.
== Plot ==
SpongeBob and his friends decide to track down the Half-Blood Princess. Hilarity ensues.
For the plot of the film, please visit this page 
== Cast ==
* Tom Kenny as SpongeBob SquarePants, French Narrator, Patchy the Pirate
* Noel MacNeal as Bear
* Tyrone Savage as Matthias
* Dennis Anderson as himself
* Doug Walker as Chester A. Bum
* Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter
* Billy Mays as himself
* He-Man as himself
* Samuel L. Jackson as Pirate L. Jackson
* Bob West as JASPEH
* Hulk Hogan as himself
* Bruce Willis as The Nostalgia Critic
* Holly Gauthier-Frankel as a burlesque performer, Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat
* Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson
* Kraftwerk as The Robots
* Shrek the Ogrelord as himself (scenes cut)
== Music ==
Vince DiCola, composer of The Transformers: The Movie, was brought in to compose the score; additional music was provided by Guy Moon, thinking he was back working on Danny Phantom, under the supervision of Butch Hartman. Clancy Brown returned to beatbox the soundtrack after refusing to do beatbox tracks for the previous film.
== Promotional Tie-Ins ==
As guerilla marketing for the film, Noel MacNeal and Tom Kenny arranged for aliens to invade Planet Earth on February 2, 2031. Scientists around the world were befuddled when instead of aliens coming out when the "mothership" landed in New York City, Sailor Moon stepped out and berated all of the criminals in New York City (and New Jersey). Sailor Moon gave those who attended the "arrival party" personalized greeting cards and a Oxi-Hamper (patent & class-action lawsuit pending) with snacks prepared by Billy Mays using the Original Quick Chop and Big City Slider Station.
To promote the film, Leslie Phillips came out of retirement and reprised the Sorting Hat at a Downtown Los Angeles hat store. Midway through, he demanded J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. give him his own Sorting Hat solo movie. J.K. Rowling responded by calling him a bunch of names the page editor was smart enough not to transcribe.
To help advertise the film, Matthias fought Firestar, Shade Silverwing, and a whole host of xenofiction and young adult novel characters on a very special episode of WWE Raw, ending with him defeating Harry Potter with a fingerpoke of doom. In addition, Doug Walker played Chester A. Bum who moved into the Fallingwater home and forced tourists to be his Bum Friends.
== Home Media Release ==
A special edition Blu-Ray for the film, entitled The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie VII: Harry Potter and Matthias Meet the Groovie Goolies in the Big Blue House's Bizarre Adventure in the Big Balloon Adventure and the Magic Railroad 2: Electric Boogaloo: Game of the Year Edition was released on December 1, 2032 and features the theatrical cut plus the Unrated Director's Cut featuring the long-awaited love scene between SpongeBob and Sandy plus ten minutes of new footage and ten minutes of re-added deleted scenes (including re-adding Shrek's scenes), every commercial for every product endorsed by Billy Mays, a blooper reel, all the episodes of the Redwall cartoon, and an interactive CD-ROM featuring a Dennis Anderson screen-saver, a video lecture by J.K. Rowling, the music video for "Whip It" by Devo, and an invalid old 1990s America Online subscription.
A normal, non-extras DVD version will be released, with the purchase of each DVD you will get a free subscription to Billy Mays Radio, where you can listen to live sports and heavy music, hosted by Billy Mays live from Heaven, in your car.
== Reception ==
The film was met with mixed reviews. Critics criticized the acting, low-budget animation, tonal dissonance, and morals but praised the performances of Tom Kenny and Noel MacNeal.
"I'd rather watch the amazing masterpiece that is Alfonso Cuarón's A Little Princess, thank you very much." - The Cinema Snob
"BEST MOVIE FOR KID OF ALL AGE" - Kung Tai Ted
"Two thumbs up!" - Roger Ebert's aforementioned ghost and Gene Siskel's ghost
"What the hell." - Rotten Tomatoes, 0%
"Oh the indignity!" - Gordon the Big Blue Engine
"Another one of these pages?!? We thought VI was the last in the memey saga started by Battle of the Fireworks!" - SpongeBob Fanon Wiki
==Trivia==
*An obscene scene of Matthias, Warrior of Redwall doing a ASMR video featuring him staring at the viewer with bedroom eyes and mumble-singing "I'm the Greatest Star" was cut. However, it is reinstated in the Unrated Director's Cut on the special edition DVD.
Category:The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (series)
Category:Movies
Category:Timebomb192potato