Rowley and the bribe

252.Rowley Jefferson, the silly 11-year-old boy, was in his room playing with his friend Garg on November 1st. They were munching on sweeties they had collected from trick or treating. Garg was eating them sensibly, while Rowley was eating them in a rather unconventional way - with his bum. Yes, you read that right. Rowley's unique way of enjoying sweets even involved his piles! Just as the two friends were having a good time, Rowley's mother entered the room. She whipped Garg with a little whip she had, signaling that it was time for him to head home. Garg bid Rowley goodbye and made his way down the street.
Rowley went back to his room, feeling a bit lonely without his friend. As he looked around, he noticed something on the floor - it was Garg's willy bum bum CD. Rowley knew Garg must have forgotten it, so he decided to take it to Garg's house. It was already late, around 9:27 at night, and the streets were dark. Without thinking much, Rowley grabbed the CD and set off on his little adventure.
As he walked down the street in just his poo-filled nappy (yes, he still wore nappies at 11), Rowley took a wrong turn and found himself in a dimly lit alleyway. That's when he saw something he had only seen in movies - a drug lord and a druggie from the movie "Sausage Party" were engaging in a drug deal. The druggie seemed overjoyed with the bath salts he was receiving. However, their transaction was interrupted when they noticed Rowley standing there in his peculiar attire.
Feeling a mix of fear and confusion, the druggie looked at Rowley, who mustered all his courage and exclaimed, "I'm telling Fred from Scooby-Doo!"
Druggie approached Rowley with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Hey kid, if I give you these don’t tell Fred from Scooby doo?" he asked, holding out a large bag of donuts from Willy Woo Donuts. Rowley's eyes widened in amazement as he eagerly accepted the offer. Druggie chuckled and told Rowley not to tell Fred from Scooby about their little drug adventure, handing him a total of 49 donuts to devour.
Rowley wasted no time in gobbling up all 49 donuts, his stomach bulging with sugary delight. However, as he wiped the crumbs from his face, he suddenly spotted the Scooby Doo gang approaching in the distance. Panic set in as Rowley remembered Druggie's warning, but when he looked back at his strange friend, he saw a look of sadness in his eyes.
Feeling torn between loyalty to his friends and his fondness for Druggie, Rowley made a decision. He would only tell shaggy and Velma about the bath salt escapade, sparing Druggie from any potential trouble. With a heavy heart, Rowley bid farewell to Druggie and set off to deliver a willy bum bum CD to his friend Garg.
Garg was thrilled to receive the gift and showered Rowley with thanks and praise. Grinning from ear to ear, Rowley made his way back home, eager to share the events of the day with his family. As he entered the house, he found his father, Mr. Jefferson, sitting at the table with a fork and knife in hand.
To Rowley's surprise, his mother placed a plate in front of Mr. Jefferson containing a peculiar dish - a turd accompanied by chips. Rowley's eyes widened in disbelief, but to his even greater shock, he realized that this bizarre meal was actually a family favorite. With a shrug, he dug into his own plate of turds and chips, savoring the unique flavor of earwax sprinkled on top.
After finishing their dinner, Rowley and his mother settled down to watch their favorite show, "Angry Red Ball," on TV. Meanwhile, Mr. Jefferson excused himself to his room, muttering something about using earwax on his "nob." Rowley couldn't help but chuckle at his father's eccentric habits, grateful for the quirky and loving family he was a part of.
As the night came to a close, Rowley drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face, grateful for the strange yet wonderful adventures that awaited him each day in Pleasantville. And so, with a heart full of joy and a belly full of turds, Rowley drifted off to dreamland, eager for the next quirky chapter in his life to unfold. The end.