Clouds of Blood: A Polemic of Melancholy

== 1 ==
My existence, if truly not voluntarily or rudimentarily chosen, is characterized by ups and downs, and is in the here and now. Except for a temporary existence, which only a few people; family, friends, work colleagues and other contemporaries who are close to me will ever notice, I am at most a passing acquaintance; - but only if it goes well because the privilege of attention is a privilege reserved for a few. Whether I'm alive or not doesn't affect world affairs, nor does it make a stranger feel anything. Why should anyone who doesn't know me shed a single tear when I pass away? After all, enough people die every day, you can't mourn everyone.
This is different for close acquaintances who actually mourn when a loved one dies. Instead of celebrating the moments they had, they mourn the moments they will never have. Impermanence is always a companion and should come as no surprise when it leaves its mark. Would you actually have spent more time with the person you mourn if they had lived a little longer? The blind ignorance of inevitable death and of time as a whole adorns human nature, making us forget that everything in the here and now eventually belongs to the past and will be over. In every organic being, there is a ticking time bomb which ensures that its host, like a cut ornamental flower, slowly withers and finally, if an external circumstance had not previously brought life to an early end, loses all urge to survive. This inevitability may cause grief or jubilation, depending on whether the individual concerned has a predilection for self-destruction or not. But even then, it's nothing personal: it just happens.
== 2 ==
Death carries an extremely negative stigma in many cultures around the world. He is avoided, portrayed as a villain and delayed as long as possible. Society feels a need to stop suicidal people; No, even punishing them outright if they even think of it! They are made to feel guilty, accused of being selfish and portrayed as a burden. But isn't it, human emotions aside, that it's not the most logical and selfless act an individual can do? Especially now, in such a dystopian world, facing a coming climate catastrophe, plagued by social inequality and exploitation, and dominated by mass selfishness. Isn't suicide the ultimate act of altruism? Is it any less selfish than allowing oneself to die from starvation in order to relieve the suffering of others?
For a human being who considers his own needs above all else, the idea of suicide seems absurd, but for those who have reached the realization that the world is nothing but a system of mutual survival and coexistence, it makes perfect sense. It takes great courage and wisdom to choose death rather than live under conditions where the highest good is to preserve one's own body for the benefit of society, and the lowest evil is to prolong the life of the species through one's own destruction. To die, even if it means you are going to perish, is to take responsibility for your own happiness. Even if it's only for yourself.
== 3 ==
In terms of climate, it's best not to exist. No other creature destroys its environment as much as humans. In terms of behaviour, people are more comparable to a parasite that only uses its host, in our case, the host is the earth, for its own purposes and does not care that the host ultimately dies through its actions. One could look for faults in others for a long time before looking at themselves; "Eating meat is bad for the climate!", "Use public transport!", and similar slogans are often heard from climate activists, but has the general public ever heard the argument that you should end your life to save the earth?
Already here the egoism of the masses dominates. Man wants to live. Nietzsche described this urge as "the will to rule". Basically, every living organism exists in order to dominate and reproduce. But while most species live in harmony with their environment, humans take more than nature provides, clearly a symptom of man's greed and selfishness. This behaviour, although amplified many times over since the industrial revolution, has been innate in the cradle for centuries, if not millennia; the primal rule of the stronger - man as ruler over nature and not vice versa.
Even if you limit your egoism, you can never completely get rid of it yourself. Someone or something always suffers from the actions of the individual. If you go without meat, you are still dependent on food, which is often planted in monocultures, for which valuable soil - home to countless species - is converted into agricultural land and is often treated with pesticides to kill unwanted creatures, like insects which are an essential part of the circle of life.
If you take the bus, which is at least more environmentally friendly than your own car, you are still actively responsible for the damage caused by such a journey. Microplastics, for example, get into the groundwater through the abrasion of the tires on the road, exhaust gases, and the often unethically borrowed resources that are used to construct the vehicle.
Clothing and consumer goods are often created under shocking working conditions. There is hardly an aspect of human existence that is not related to the exploitation of one's environment or one's fellow human beings.
Man learned to live with the lesser evil, even if the lesser evil means ignorance of one's own deeds.
== 4 ==
In the economy, people are already treated as pure resources; Despite technical advances, which come with higher productivity, workers still have to work the same amount of time, usually for the same wages, in order to generate more and more profit for the company, even overtime is expected, although output has already increased when looking back at the past. You can be replaced at any time and you rarely play a real role in the overall picture. One exists to serve a master for whom one is merely a means to an end to generate revenue. You lose your humanity.
This selfishness is already drummed into the masses at school. You have to be faster and better than the others, dominate them and be superior to them. It is no surprise, that this mentality has led to a society that accepts exploitation and dehumanization.
When I asked people what the meaning of life was, I always got the answer that it is a good job and money. Rarely have I received the answer to do something selfless. Instead, it was always about the exploitation of the self or the exploitation of the environment, including the exploitation of others.
Human nature seems to revolve only around selfishness and causing suffering. Why else are emotions and apathy above selfless and logical acts?
== 5 ==
Is life really justified when so much suffering is done to keep it going? Shouldn't suicide be celebrated as a heroic act, and growing old be criticized? Certainly, the longer one persists, the more suffering and exploitation are attached to the self. The protest, the refusal to give in to the egoism of the masses, to put the feelings of the individual above the benefit of all, is presented as wrong, while apathy is always preached.
If you want to escape this seemingly inevitable dilemma, which is not feasible due to your own existence and therefore you are forced to end your life early, you will always be held up. Close fellow human beings place their personal feelings above the common good, and argue with emotions that all arose purely from bodily functions, but were not born from cold logic.
Such emotional reasoning seems particularly hypocritical and selfish when the person in question has little to do with the person who is ending their life prematurely. What is the basis of selfish reasoning, bossing around a person who no longer wants to indulge in the selfish imperatives of humanity when the emotional bond between those people is not sufficiently legitimized? For example, how can the personal relevance of a person be legitimized if you have never dealt with this person personally? If people were more honest, instead of hiding their intentions behind fancy prose and beautiful words, only egoism would remain. The person's personal need as a resource; is a means to feel better, less alone, to justify one's own existence. How exactly can those claim that the actions of others are selfish when their own reasoning is based on selfishness?
== 6 ==
The cold, logical way of looking at the world is a disconcerting scene, which is ignored as often as possible by the majority of people for a good reason. Even when pure facts are put on the table, man still chooses personal egotism instead of the uncertain unselfishness called death. Presumably because dying is still an unknown that we will never get to know, but nonetheless, at some point, either naturally or unnaturally, we all will receive her kiss before she takes us with her.
Non-existence is a concept far too abstract for the human brain to comprehend. How could one also invent non-thinking? Feeling the non-feeling?
Some people believe in an immortal soul, a mysterious entity within a being's body that goes somewhere after the organic shell dies. A thought that seems to be shaped by human egoism, the will to rule. Why should one be entitled to continue existing after the end of one's own existence?
It is much more plausible that after the death of the brain, speak the death of consciousness, there is an abstract nothingness. No paradise, no more life.
== 7 ==
I am not interested in believing in myths and legends. I don't care if there is someone somewhere who calls himself God, or if an invisible being lives in the sky and watches over us. Such things are for children and ignorant people who cannot handle reality. But I'm afraid that the people who say such things must actually believe them.
People are fascinated by the idea of life after death and love to imagine the possibility of immortality. But the fact remains that all human beings, regardless of age or education, are able to accept death only in a very limited manner. It is not accepted as an inevitable process but as a temporary condition that may occur to anyone at any time and to everyone. Death is thus a common enemy, a threat. Humanity must overcome it and avoid it as long as possible. At least that's what that egoistic selfishness of humans says.
When death is no longer seen as evil, it becomes something desirable. And when people are encouraged to consider death as a possibility, they become nervous and start talking about the hereafter.
What's wrong with thinking that life is only a fleeting experience? What's wrong with feeling that, once you've lived your life as fully as possible and achieved everything you set out to achieve, you're ready for the next step? People who are unable to understand this, who prefer to keep on living until the last moment, are only denying themselves the pleasure of living life to the fullest or doing something that benefits others. It is a strange form of masochism.
== 8 ==
The role of the self in the world should be considered at all times. Out of pure logic, nothing has any real value, except an emotional or egoistic one at best. It is always about the self, even when it is about others. Why does someone help other people? Self-fulfilment will always be the answer, even if hidden behind lies, that the liar believes are truths, simply because that's how our mind protects itself from the harsh reality. One is happy that others are happy through one's own help. The value is purely emotional. There's no logic behind it. Even worse! Cold logic says yes, the best thing for the entire world is not to exist. So would not help another person, especially if it's existential help, do more harm to the world than doing nothing? Does one not help the most if, -this should not encourage anyone to commit crimes or anything similar, this letter is just a polemic that philosophizes about the rationalization of dying; if they help by ending the other person's life, or at least not interfering with their fate? After all, the option to not exist is the choice that causes as little damage as possible.
== 9 ==
To find an answer to the problem of life and death, one has to look beyond the narrow confines of human perspective and examine one's own psyche. The egoist tends to reject the idea of non-existence and prefers to cling to life, even though he knows it may mean his own demise.
A mind that thinks of itself as being separate from the rest of the universe is a contradiction in terms. To think of oneself as a unique being is a sign of the egoism inherent in mankind, which is manifested everywhere: in the belief that one's own life is more important than that of others, the idea that one is superior to others, the belief that one is capable of achieving greatness, and so forth. This egoism is the foundation of morality, justice, religion, history, politics, and philosophy. The urge to dominate, to rule.
Existence is defined by egoism. To live or not to live — that is the question. If one decides to die, it is not because of the fear of death, but because of the desire to be free of the burden of existence or do less harm as they would otherwise.
That is why, when we talk about death, we are talking about the freedom of being, which is not worth living in the first place if it means suffering for those around us.
== 10 ==
Death is not a tragedy. It is a relief, a release from the weight of the egoism of man, whose entire existence revolves around the pursuit of power and wealth.
The egoism of the masses is a disease, and the cure is an overdose of death.
== 11 ==
If you wish to escape the chains of your own existence, then you will have to fight against your own nature. If you wish to achieve liberation from the endless cycle of birth and death, you will have to learn to let go of every single thing that ties you down to the flesh.
The egoists do not consider death as an end, but rather as a continuation of existence, that there is an afterlife waiting for them, which is an extension of their current existence. This idea is rooted in the egocentrism that was bred into our species and is the reason why egoism is part of the very fabric of human beings. Egoism breeds a desire for immortality. Death is the final enemy for them.
The egoist has no interest in the meaning of life. He does not see the value in finding meaning in his life. While others spend their time trying to find answers that satisfy their curiosity, the egoist is busy pursuing his own goals, or the goals he thinks are beneficial for others, out of his own egoism.
== 12 ==
In the end, the answer to the question "Why do I exist?" remains elusive, since man's existence depends upon the egoism of others. If not for the personal gains of others, which are born and tied to emotions, there's nothing in the world that can be considered meaningful enough as a justification for existence. Perhaps there is no meaning to existence, no purpose.
But what if existence had a meaning? What if there was a higher goal, a greater cause, an aim that surpasses the mere satisfaction of one's own desires?
Perhaps the meaning of life is to sacrifice oneself for the sake of others. This is the ultimate goal, the highest ambition that one can hope to achieve. To serve others, to give up one's own life for others, to suffer in order to save others, to endure all the pain for the sake of those around you. This is what makes life worthwhile.
There are many who are driven by the desire to be loved and appreciated, but few who would sacrifice themselves for the sake of others. A man's life consists of two parts — the part that is lived and the part that is remembered.
== 13 ==
I do not seek salvation. The only thing I want is to be free from the tyranny of my own existence. My life is not my own; it belongs to others. They have made me what I am today and they will shape how I'll die tomorrow.
To know your life is pointless and meaningless, but to be forced to live anyway, to be forced to take advantage of one's existence at all costs. This is the greatest torment of them all.
== 14 ==
Life is all a game of mirrors. We only pretend to be alive, but we are not really living at all. We are trapped inside our own delusions and illusions. All that we see is reflected back to us. Our own reflection is not quite right, it is distorted, sometimes grotesquely so. The mirror shows us a person who is not completely satisfied with their own image, as they are always seeking to improve themselves.
We can never be content with ourselves.
== 15 ==
It is not pleasant to admit that one's own life has no purpose. Yet if one does not accept this, they will be doomed to a lifetime of constant suffering and disappointment. It is a curse to be born into a world without a goal, and yet this is the situation all humans are thrown into.
== 16 ==
Man's desire to control every aspect of his own destiny has led him astray, and now we are all slaves to our own egos.
All of humanity is ruled by the idea that if there is no one who needs us, we cease to exist. Even though, ceasing to exist would mean being a burden, a misery for those who remain, despite the complete opposite being true.
Some men seem to feel they are destined for something great, whereas others are convinced that they are nothing more than insignificant creature who is born only to suffer.
The truth is probably somewhere between these two extremes.
While the egoist sees death as a terrible prospect, the nihilist sees it as a solution. After all, the egoist's existence is merely a delusion, a dream of some kind. The nihilist on the other hand understands that the world is nothing more than a play of shadows and that those who believe they live in a world of light are simply deluded. The world is in fact a dark and gloomy place that one must struggle to survive.
== 17 ==
To find the meaning of life, one must first ask a different question. What is life but an endless succession of moments? And what is a moment, except an instant?
Then one comes to realize that each moment contains in itself the whole of existence, the past and the future, the joys and sorrows, the happiness and the despair. Each moment is a symbol of eternity and every minute is a chance to change one's fate forever.
This realization changes the way one looks upon life, but also the manner in which one lives it. One realizes that one's own life is insignificant, but that of others is priceless. One understands that one is a small part of a greater whole and that the world is but an illusion, as much of a lie as the stories told by children. One learns to face death with courage and accept the inevitable.
One begins to live life by focusing on the present, instead of looking back at one's achievements and trying to predict the future.
== 18 ==
The meaning of life is to awaken from the dream of existence. But one must first have a dream.
It is possible to live a life that has no meaning, no purpose, and no direction. People do not need to strive for anything, because the very idea of striving for something is proof of egoism. If there were no reward for success or punishment for failure, then it would not make sense to put effort into any endeavour.
But most people don't want to live such a meaningless life. They like to think that their lives have meaning, even if the meaning is as simple as the pleasure of living, a meaning completely rooted in pure emotion, void of any logic.
== 19 ==
It is not easy to die. It takes a lot of courage to lay down one's life for the sake of another. Even more difficult is to decide to not exist anymore because one realizes that one cannot bring anything of value to the world or rather bring the most value by being absent.
Death is the ultimate act of altruism, the supreme sacrifice that few are capable of performing.
== 20 ==
We live only because we're afraid of death. Fear is a powerful tool that keeps us going. Fear of failure, fear of loneliness, fear of death.
Fear is not always bad. At times, fear can drive us to do things that we would not otherwise try, and even to perform deeds that we would not consider doing if fear did not force us to.
The fear of death is the strongest of all fears. It is what drives us to achieve, win over our enemies, and keep working harder and faster than everyone else. Without this fear, the egoist would not be able to impose his will on anyone. The egoist is nothing without his pride. It is the power he wields. It is his weapon. It is everything he is and ever will be.
Without his ego, he would be nothing.
== 21 ==
Is it better to live in fear or to die with dignity? In either case, one must have courage. The problem is, courage is an intangible concept. A term that means something different to all of us.
To the coward, courage is a virtue, while it is a deadly sin to others. To the egoist, courage is a means of survival, while it is a symbol of weakness to others. To the idealist, courage is the ability to confront danger, the desire to fight against injustice, and the willingness to sacrifice one's life to protect others.
To the nihilist, courage is a contradiction in terms.
== 22 ==
What is courage? How could one define courage? Is it bravery, or is it the ability to endure hardship and adversity without flinching? Or is it a lack of fear, that leads to the destruction of the ego, the end of the selfishness that plagues our society?
Does courage require a certain level of intelligence? Does it imply a need for intelligence? Such questions may appear irrelevant, but they are important to understand and resolve before attempting to answer the real question: "Who has the right to call himself courageous?"
== 23 ==
The individual egoist is a slave to his own existence. His self-interest is paramount. He would even kill if it meant that he will benefit in the long run.
Such is the character of the average person. Selfishness is the order of the day. Those who fail to heed the egoistic philosophy have no future. They are condemned to suffer the consequences of the emotional egoism of those around them.
== 24 ==
We are all slaves to our own desires. We are slaves to our own instincts and impulses. All that we do is dictated entirely by our emotions. What happens in our heads makes no difference whatsoever, since all of us are controlled by the same impulses and the same desires. Some can only be aware of them, but never lay them down. At least if one wants to live life.
== 25 ==
Everything in life is interconnected. One can never be sure of anything, because nothing is certain and one never knows what lies ahead.
If you take the chaos theory into account, the famous butterfly effect, which is known to say that every little action can have unforeseen consequences, our actions become even more insignificant.
For example, if you cheer up your best friend after he lost the love of his life, you may deprive him of the chance to pull off a certain character change. Perhaps out of desperation, he would have taken an interest in art and, as a means of overcoming grief, created a work that a century later is presented as a milestone in art in museums.
We simply don't know the results of our actions, we just do what we think is best for others and for ourselves, even truly believing that what we are doing is the right thing.
As previously mentioned, human nature is bound to the destruction of its environment. To live is to destroy. This is a direct correlation. The unknown variable that is added, arising from our ignorance, makes our deeds even less important. Even when we think we're doing the right thing, we never know the true consequences of the action.
At any time, we can set off a chain reaction that causes fatal results long after our life is over, be it natural or through our own hands.
This fatality will not reach us, but the rest of the world will suffer.
So did you actually do something good for the world, for the general public, the part that is at least relevant for us humans, or did you just create a new disadvantage for the general public?
== 26 ==
With all of this uncertainty, and the certain knowledge that to be is to destroy, the will to rule is a constant companion after all, the desire to control one's own destiny.
We are in control of nothing.
Only through the fear of death, do we allow this egoistic urge to dominate over us, giving us the illusion that we are the ones that dominate life and that we matter.
== 27 ==
No one really believes that their life has meaning. No one really believes that they are special. Everyone is convinced that they are not unique, that they belong to a group and that they are just one more of the many who share the same fate.
Yet the majority of people still cling to the belief that they are special somehow, that they are different from the masses, and that they are destined for greatness. It is a comforting fantasy, and perhaps this is why so many people are willing to go to great lengths to maintain this illusion.
== 28 ==
Our lives are meaningless, and yet we are driven by this need to establish our own identity, to deny reality. We seek out a relationship with others, only to be left alone once again, and return home to a world where we are forever trapped inside of our own delusions.
== 29 ==
Every day is filled with countless moments, all of them insignificant from an outsider's perspective, from a pure logical and objective point of view, and yet we force ourselves to remember these moments as if they were significant.
This is why we cling to memories. These are the only things that give our lives meaning. Memories are the only reason for which we continue to live.
== 30 ==
There is no meaning in life. There is no purpose. Everything is nothing. Life has no meaning and neither does death.
We live because we are afraid to die. We live because it gives meaning to our lives because it satisfies our egos. We live because we can't stand the thought of being anything more than an insignificant part of a greater whole. We live because we need to be something, anything at all.
== 31 ==
We live because we have to. Because we want to.
Because we must.
In a word, because it is necessary for the self.
== 32 ==
Nothing is permanent. Nothing lasts forever. Things fall apart. All things pass away.
This is the truth of the universe. It is the law of nature. And it applies to both death and life.
Nature is indifferent. Nature does not care about the lives of men. It cares not whether one lives or dies. It just goes on regardless.
Humanity fears nature because of that indifference. Humans believe that nature is cruel, that it takes what it wishes, that it plays tricks on the weak, and that it sends calamities to punish those who have failed to obey the laws that govern nature. But aren't humans the same? Do we not play tricks on the weak? Do we not send calamities to punish the failures?
== 33 ==
The essence of life is suffering. This is not a moral judgment, nor is it the statement of some religious doctrine. Rather it is a scientific fact.
Life is pain, and the sooner one accepts this simple truth, the easier one's life will be.
This doesn't mean it is a pain to the one living life, but a pain for the whole. Be it a pain to others, a pain to nature, the universe, or simply really just a pain to the self.
== 34 ==
All life is vanity.
No matter how much one accomplishes, no matter how successful one becomes, the only real accomplishment is in the acceptance of one's insignificance. Only then we can accept reality and step out of our delusions.
== 35 ==
One cannot escape the egoism of the egoist. One cannot control it. One can either eliminate it or learn to live with it.
== 36 ==
In the end, we all die. This is the truth of the universe.
When faced with extinction, one's ego becomes a shield against the terror of oblivion. We cling to life as though we are unable to face death and the end of all things. It is only our particular brand of insanity that keeps us alive. The power of the ego.
The egoist is a product of his surroundings. We live because it is necessary for us to be ignorant, to be egoistic. The egoist is a product of the collective egoism of mankind.
To the egoist, the ego is everything. To the egoist, the ego is life itself.
== 37 ==
In the end, we are all equal, as we all cease to exist.
All of our efforts will be for nothing, we won't even know their consequences, if what we thought was right, really was the right thing to do. We only know we will die and the sooner we do, the less of a burden our actions are for the bigger image, our surroundings, nature and the whole universe.
In life, there is no such thing as a moral victory or a defeat that serves as a lesson. In the end, it is all in vain.
== 38 ==
One day I will leave this world. My body will be destroyed. The atoms that compose my flesh, the molecules that make up my cells, will be dispersed into space, and will eventually become part of a star.
I will cease to exist, but that is not a problem. I am nothing more than a collection of electrons, protons and neutrons, arranged in a certain way. My entire personality, my memories, the thoughts that flow through me, none of these will remain after death.
We are all nothing but a bunch of particles, a tiny drop in the ocean. We are insignificant, and yet we act as if we mattered.
We do not matter. Not one bit. We are too insignificant to be remembered. We all die, and in the end, we are all the same.
The only truth in life is impermanence.
There is no beginning and there is no end. There is just this moment, which is here and now. And it is only the present that matters. The past is gone and the future will never come. Our lives are without meaning, and yet we cling to them as if they were precious.
== 39 ==
Death is the ultimate release from bondage. From the tyranny of consciousness.
From the need to struggle endlessly, from the necessity of being more powerful than others.
We cannot help but live a lie, to pretend that we are something other than we are.
We are born, and then we grow old, and then we die.
But before we do, we live in a state of perpetual delusion.
We live in a world that denies reality and pretends to be something else entirely.
We live in a world of illusions, in a dream of the ego, in a state of delusion.
And when our delusion ends, we find ourselves caught in the trap of death.
== 40 ==
So what is death?
It is the cessation of existence, the ending of life. It is the total destruction of the physical body. It is the dissolution of the mind. It is the final cut. It is the end.
Category:Theory