Sonic X Meets Blade

[side of a building]
New Guy (Chris): Thanks for throwing me a welcoming party, Shadow!  I've never been to a party hosted by a hedgehog before.
Shadow: I do it for all the newcomers, Chris.  After tonight, I guarantee you'll be... one of us. (laugh)
[cut to inside of building, with scenarios of: Sonic and Dr. Eggman partying, along with Big the Cat deejaying, Cream and Cheese hugging in content, Charmy Bee and Tails also partying, and Knuckles making out with Rouge and Amy.]
Chris: I guess when our show's guests include Katy Perry and Ice Tea, it's a slippery slope. (woos in joy)  Hey, Knuckles! Hi, Vector!
[blood drips onto Chris' arm, followed by all the sprinklers leaking blood, zombifying the other characters.]
Chris: Oh, no!  Shadow!  He turned you all into... to... the undead!
Shadow: If you assumed I was a hedgehog in every other way but that, man I'd count one.  One moron!
[Shadow shoves Chris onto the floor, trying to crawl away from the newly born zombies.]
Chris: Oh, no! (runs into a tall guy in black with shades, who is Blade)  Oh, nice character intro!  How long have you been here watching me shit myself?!
Shadow: Get him!
[Blade readies a shotgun, and shoots the Zombie characters, in order: Knuckles, Big the Cat, then punches Tails, strangles Cream and Cheese, followed by bashing their heads together, and then using a sword to cut Sonic's head, but not before him saying:)
Sonic: "S" is for "severed".
[then Blade decapitates Sonic, and proceeds to attempt to shoot Dr. Eggman, but the metal robot can keeps deflecting the bullets]
Eggman: Ha! Flawless, built-in defense system! Wait what are you doing?!
[Blade lifts the robot's lid, and then successfully kills Dr. Eggman, followed by Shadow flinging himself at Blade, who in turn holds him against a wall]
Shadow: I see one, one dead mother... Oh my goodness, there's not a speck of blood on you. What, do you keep a pack of Handi-Wipes in that flight jacket?
Blade: No, just this. [pulls out a grenade]
Shadow: One, two...
Blade: Stop counting!
Shadow: That was a play-by-play. I just pissed and shit in my own fur.
[Blade stuffs the grenade in Shadow's mouth and throws him aside before Shadow groans in agony for a few seconds prior to exploding. Blade then helps Chris to his feet.]
Chris: Wow, so I guess if you've hunted all the way to Sonic X, you must have gotten every vampire in the world.
Blade: Not quite.
[cut to Count Chocula's castle]
Count Chocula: Who wants some of my Count Chocula cereal?  Which if looked at from a very specific point of view is a nutritious part of this balanced breakfast!
[Blade cocks a shotgun]
Blade: You!
[Blade blows Count Chocula's brains out]