2014.04.20 - What league you think I play in?

"Man, Deacon, service has really gone downhill lately. I haven't had to walk all the way from my booth to the bar to get a fried egg and bologna sandwich since... the early nineties? Late eighties? It's been a while, is the central point, Deacon. I'm disappointed in you, but I'll forgive you if you go ahead and put that order in for me." The monologue is coming from one of the more disshevelled patrons of the bar, a chimpanzee who is currently standing on one of the bar stools. His bare feet would probably be frowned on in most establishments. Actually, they're frowned upon in the Oblivion as well, but at least here they're tolerated.
"Uh huh.... Let me guess, you want to put it on your tab?" The bartender is Eddie Deacon, a man with flippers for hands. And flippers for legs. Don't point those out, he already knows about them.
With a sigh, Eddie Deacon picks up a massive box from under the bar with the words 'Detective Chimp's Tab' written on it in Sharpie. Adding yet another item to one of the many lists in the box, he puts the box back under the bar and goes to put the order in.
"And bring me a beer to, huh? One of those dark ones your bouncer brought back from the Shadowlands! Eddie! Did you hear me? Bring me a beer!"
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Striding along the lower of Gotham, Robyn stumbled over what seemed to be a seedy little bar on the outside, the sign over the door hanging halfway down. Oblivion, huh? Like hell or nothingness? Her greek was not too good (or rather nonexistant), but it seemed better than nothing. Checking the one pouch of her belt that held a few dollar bills for its weight she pushed the door open, the bow and quiver hanging over her shoulder - what was visible of the later was the elaborate carving to the hilt and the red gem above it.
The lonely eye wandered over the people in the bar, stopping at some of them that didn't seem to be quite human and did so too for the chimp, but then it wandered over the list of rules at the entry. "what the... interesting." she muttered to herself, somewhat having the aura of a first time visitor to this place.
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"Why hellllooooo...." Still standing on the bar stool, the Detective Chimp makes a show of straightening his tie at the sight of a new visitor. He even holds his hand up to his mouth and exhales sharply to check his breath. "It appears we have a fresh face here, which is excellent, because I was tired of looking at Flippy."
Turning back toward the kitchen area, Detective Chimp shouts loud enough that everyone in the sparsely-populated bar can hear. "Hey Eddie! Pour a drink for my new friend here. I get the feeling that she's a whiskey, neat."
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It takes Robyn a few moments to realize it was really the ape that talked. Slowly walking towards the bar, taking a seat with a free one between her and Chimp. "You don't happen to be the bibliothecary in Ankh-Morpork and write the dictionary of Chimpaneese to English, do you? And I prefer Ale." she answers a bit snarky. "Myst brew if you have."
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"Nevermind, Eddie! She wants an ale!"
"What kind?"
"Myst, something or other!"
Now that the drink situation has been settled, Detective Chimp leans forward to put his elbows on the bar. "No, I'm none of those things. I'm actually kind of a big deal around here, but I'll let your ignorance slide since you're new and dressed in a skimpy outfit. Since you're unaware of my fame, proper introductions are in order. I'm The Detective Chimp." He extends a furred hand across the empty seat between them.
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Detective? The eyebrows got narrowed, a fold forming between them as she carefully eyed the not-so-human detective. "Gotham hires Apes for Police? They must be pretty short on budget." Robyn remarked, peering over to the rules at the entry. "How much does the neutral ground thing count?" she asked, the eyes still peering at the hand and its owner. Her picture was on the wanted-list after all...
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"Gotham? What makes you think I work for the Gotham PD? No, they couldn't afford my rates even if they wanted me." Eddie "Flippy" Deacon brings the requested drinks out, the glasses levitating in the air via his telekinetic abilities. Of course, the fried egg and bologna sandwich is served up as well, and DC immediately tucks into this like a wild animal. The sandwich is gone in only a few seconds, and with a mouth still full he finishes his thought. "No, I work for myself, solving mysteries that stump you thick-headed humans."
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"Private Eye, huh? Better than a cop I guess... Robyn Locksley." Should he actually read the wanted lists, he would know she is wanted for prison break, convicted of killing five and thought to have killed an FBI agent atop of that. "And your rates are too high for the Gotham PD... Well I guess they spend all their money on that Batguy to keep him in business."
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Apparently, Detective Chimp either doesn't know or doesn't care. Of course, by the look of him, it's unlikely that he leaves the bar very often. And why would he, when he can get all the fried egg and bologna sandwiches he wants without ever apparently having to pay for them? "I'm pretty sure that The Batman works pro bono. Some sort of deputized agent or something. Like I said, I don't really keep up with the comings and goings in Gotham anymore."
DC takes a long sip from his very dark beer, and then wipes the foam from his lip. "You know, you look like you'd fit right in into Gotham. Let me guess, supervillain of some sort?"
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Robyn nods slowly, taking her ale up and a sip of it, shaking the head and the face going ot one of distaste for a moment. "Yea, pretty much the ale I know... warm and tastes bland. Just as it has to be." Why she drinks it? Sentimental value only. "What league you think I play in to call me Super something?"
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"Oh, just a wild stab in the dark. I figure you didn't get that outfit from the Gap..." He turns to glance at the woman's crazy green outfit again. Yep, it's not something you'd find in most stores. "Then there's that whole glowing eye thing you've got going on, and nobody from this century uses a bow. You're definitely a supervillain."
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"You are so not up to date... Check the list. Hawkeye is a fucking Avenger and uses Bow'n'Arrow. Green Arrow is a damned Vigilante and he's said to have a full clan or such gathered around him. The Outfit I have brought from Myst and if a lost eye is enough reason to be a Villain, then a lot of people are." Robyn elaborates the fist clenching.
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Years of lurking in the Oblivion Bar have made Detective Chimp all but oblivious to 'anger cues' that would signify an imminent ass-beating if he encountered them anywhere else. "Oh come on, you've got 'Bad Girl' written all over you. Surely you're not going to sit there and say you've never robbed an armored truck full of Wonderflonium?" He continues to nurse his beer, which by all appearances is not the first one that he's had today.
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"Only if you considder huntin' King John's deer a truck of Wondersomething." Robyn answers snarky. Sure, she has a very blood stained past, including killing a king in an other plane and five people on earth, as she was not the one responsible for the FBI agents death. "I never claimed to have a white vest, monkey."
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Detective Chimp's lower lip begins to tremble. "Monkey? Now you're just being deliberately hurtful. And to think, I was going to ask you out on a date." He looks away, and finishes his beer. "Well, that ship has sailed. You might have better luck with Flippy though." He appears to be joking, but it's not especially easy to read the expressions of a chimpanzee. It'd be even harder to read the expressions of a monkey, probably, which Detective Chimp is most certainly not.
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Indeed Robyn had used the word deliberately - like he had used the word supervillain. "Your ship saild when you called me a villain." She remarked back, eying Flippy. "Well, in contrast to you he /is/ kinda cute."
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"Only if you stretch the definition of the word 'cute' so far beyond its original scope that it loses any semblance of meaning." Detective Chimp doesn't actually look even remotely bothered, which is a further indicator that he's simply busting the girl's balls. "But I see what's going on here: you're species-ist."
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Robyn snorts on the call and empties the ale, slamming the glass to the counter afterwards, slipping a five collar bill under it for Flippy. "call me what you want, I am gone."
Category:Log