Foamy's Rant

Foamy's Rant is a Flash movie by illwillpress. It features Foamy, the talking squirrel, ranting about various things he hates. It is widely considered to be the movie that made him one of Newgrounds's most popular contributors.
== The Rant ==
There are certain types of people in this world that just piss me off to no end. The type of people that come up to you and ask you for advice... and then, when you give them advice, they don't take the advice. They just come back to you a week later and they're like, "I can't believe how everything turned out so wrong!" You wanna know why everything turned out wrong? 'Cause you didn't take my advice and you're fucking stupid. That's what went wrong, you didn't listen to me. I know all.
The other type of person are those insignificant peons, who just have to validate themselves by being in a relationship. Y'know what? It's pathetic, it's weak minded, and you show no inner strength whatsoever. Get over the girlfriend, get over the boyfriend or whatever the fuck you're yearning for, and live. Fuckin'. Life.
People who stalk their ex-girlfriend particularly piss me off. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Don't you have better things to do with your life than be emotionally attached to somebody who hates your guts? Do something with your life! Find a hobby! Y'know, geez! Dude, do you know how many video games are out there that you could be playing? At the very least, shoot yourself. Get yourself out of society. Nobody wants to deal with a stalker.
Other types of people that I hate: people who ruin your favorite diner. Y'know, the type of person... that, y'know, you’re usually friends with until they end up goin' to the diner and dating some waitress there... and then having some kind of weird rocky relationship, and every time you go into the diner hereafter, there’s that weird vibe in the air? People like this, really need, food poisoning, I am so sick of these fucking bastards ruining my favorite spots.
Another type of person I particularly hate... are those fucking slime-balls with the slicked-back hair... that usually end up going to bars and shit like that on Friday, Saturday, Sunday night... to see if they can pick up chicks... and all they do is walk around with these fucking stupid velvety shirts with their dumbass... fat, hairy chests exposed to the world, as if they were the sexiest thing on the face on the earth. Y'know what? You're a middle-aged loser, nobody wants to see your hairy chest... Either throw yourself in front of traffic, or overdose, please! Nobody wants to hear this bullshit anymore. Time for some revaluation of one's life.
I also dislike people that all they do is talk about their problems with their insignificant other... Y'know what? I don't care about your fuckin' relationship problems; you can just shove 'em up your ass for all I care. Nobody wants to hear about how your girlfriend doesn't like you or h- how your b- how your boyfriend is ignoring you... nobody cares! It only pertains to your own little world, which in the grand scheme of things, is minute and pathetic, and nobody really ever wants to hear it. Shut your mouth... choke on your food... and die!
Y'know, you ever have a good friend and then you go out some place, and they always gotta bring their fucking girlfriend, and their girlfriend turns out to be somebody you just wanna kill? I mean, really kill. Like, jump up and down and kill? And then fuckin' chop up their body into fifteen different parts and flush various parts down the toilet, bury the others, and the other ones get thrown in the sewer? Y'know, th- the type of person th- that their parents should've had an abortion before they even walked the earth? Y'know, that kind of crap? These types of fucking... pieces of crap really... just need to be killed with some piano wire around the throat. I can’t take it anymore!
I also can’t stand people who stay at home and listen to "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," like it’s th- it's the world’s most depressing song. 1: The song sucks. 2: You’re fuckin' pathetic for listening to it. Take the CD out, crack it in half, and then slit your wrist with the broken pieces. It’s over! They’re done... you’re done... kill yourself.
And in closing, y'know, it's just shit like this that pisses me off. It’s these type of people that have no inner soul, no nothing; they just revolve around their own pathetic little world with no consideration for what’s goin' on around them... They have no sense or grasp of reality... and really need to be taken off the face of this earth. They have no substance... and they have no control over themselves... and they really need to be put to sleep. Permanently.
Thank you for listening!
== Presentation ==
Foamy's Rant has fairly simple animation. A single abstract background is used, and although Foamy takes a variety of poses, his animation is nothing extraordinary and he is simply drawn. The outstanding part of Foamy's Rant's presentation is the voice acting. Foamy speaks like the stereotypical cartoon squirrel, quickly and with a high-pitched voiced. However, his tone is cynical and bitter, and he frequently mixes curses into his rant, though not excessively. All of these features would be staples in future animations by illwillpress.
== Reception ==
Critically speaking, Foamy's Rant is not particularly notable. It only won the Daily Fourth award, and has less than a million views nearly a decade after submission. However, it is often considered a turning point in illwillpress's Newgrounds career. Foamy would appear in a wide variety of future animations, conventionally styled and more rants, and eventually warranted its own collection. Foamy has also become the topic of much discussion on Newgrounds, with hundreds of BBS threads devoted to him. Foamy has even been featured on the Flash Portal page, where he is one of a dozen or so Newgrounds mascots, along with Pico and Alien Hominid. Most notably though, is that the Flash Portal History collection for 2003 uses Foamy's Rant's icon, an honor shared by only a few other movies.
== External Links ==
*View it here
*Foamy's many rants
Category:Flash cartoons
Category:Comedy Movies
Category:Newgrounds Culture
Category:2003