In Liz We Truss

In Liz We Truss is the twenty-ninth episode of The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show and the seventh episode of the third season. It was written by thatjess and released on September 5, 2022.
== Transcript ==
[Exterior shot of the Peppa Pig World Jail.]
Peppa Pig Narrator: This is the Peppa Pig World Jail, where all the naughty boys and girls go.
[Boris Johnson is inside his cell, bouncing a rubber ball against the wall.]
Peppa Pig Narrator: Oh dear, Boris Johnson has been a very naughty boy! He is in jail on suspicion of murdering beloved gay rights activist Suzy Sheep.
Boris Johnson: (sighs) When I said that Peppa Pig World was very much my kind of place, this is not what I meant.
[Police Officer Panda and Police Officer Squirrel enter.]
Peppa Pig Narrator: These are Police Officer Panda and Police Officer Squirrel, the prison guards.
Boris Johnson: Huzzah! Finally! Have I been bailed out?
Police Officer Panda: Boris, your trial in court still awaits.
Boris Johnson: Bloody wankers…
Police Officer Squirrel: We do have some jail letters for you though!
Boris Johnson: Oh goody! Is there a letter from my scrunkly Rees-Mogg?
Peppa Pig Narrator: Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg are having an affair together.
Police Officer Squirrel: Uh… no.
[Police Officer Squirrel hides an envelope containing vast amounts of Jacob Rees-Mogg nudes inside.]
Police Officer Panda: This letter’s from someone else, they say they’re a close friend. They’re also… replacing you as the new leader of the Tories.
[Cut to floods of press outside 10 Downing Street.]
Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here reporting live for Bikini Bottom News! We are once again outside Downing Street in London, where the new leader of the Conservative Party, and consequently the new prime minister, is about to be announced!
[Cut to SpongeBob’s house, where he, Daddy Pig, Mummy Sheep, Gary 2 and Sikowitz are watching the report.]
Sikowitz: I honestly don’t see what all the fuss is all about. The UK is fucked either way.
[Pan over to Mummy Sheep, who is wearing a plethora of Rishi Sunak-themed clothing and holding Rishi Sunak flags, etc., etc.]
Mummy Sheep: COME ON RISHI!!!!!!!!!! LET’S FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!
SpongeBob: I didn’t know you were a Tory, Mummy Sheep.
Mummy Sheep: I’m not, I just fucking love Rishi. How are you doing on the Rishmas tree, Gary?
[Pan over to Gary 2, who is decorating a Christmas tree with Rishi-themed ornaments.]
Gary 2: God I wanna fuck Rishi Sunak.
Sikowitz: What the-
SpongeBob: NOT YOU TOO, GARY!
Gary 2: I actually agree with a lot of Tory ideologies, just to set the record straight. I’ve been a proud paying member of the Republicans my entire life.
SpongeBob: We adopted you from the animal shelter only a couple months ago.
Gary 2: I’ve been alive long enough to know that Rishi Sunak is the goddamn sexiest creature on the planet.
Mummy Sheep: Amen.
[Mummy Sheep and Gary 2 high-five.]
Mummy Sheep: He would be better if he had tits though.
Daddy Pig: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MUMMY SHEEP
Mummy Sheep: What? All I’m saying is that I love boobies.
Daddy Pig: You love me more though, right?
Mummy Sheep: Oh look, they’re just about to announce who won!
[Cut back to Perch Perkins.]
Perch Perkins: -and with 60,399 votes is… Rishi Sunak!
[Cut back to SpongeBob’s pineapple.]
Mummy Sheep: FUUUUUUUUCK YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET’S FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gary 2: I AM SO HORNY RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
Sikowitz: WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP???????!!!!!!!!!!!
Perch Perkins: (on TV) …which means that with the remaining 81,216 votes… LIZ TRUSS IS THE UK’S NEW PRIME MINISTER!!!!
[Mummy Sheep and Gary 2 stare at the TV in shock.]
Gary 2: …I want to kill myself.
[Mummy Sheep throws the TV remote at the Rishmas tree, causing it to collapse on the floor.]
SpongeBob: Just out of curiosity, how did you pay for all this Rishi Sunak shit?
Gary 2: Oh, I borrowed your credit card. I knew you wouldn’t mind.
SpongeBob: I have to put up with a lot of bullshit, so believe me when I say I really can’t stand you sometimes.
[Cut back to Perch Perkins.]
Perch Perkins: We have an exclusive interview with the new PM, Liz Truss, right now!
[Liz walks on]
Perch Perkins: Good afternoon, Liz. Or should I call you Ms. Truss?
Liz Truss: Hello. I hate transgender people.
Perch Perkins: Alright then. So what inspired you to launch your successful campaign for prime minister?
Liz Truss: My hatred for transgender people.
Perch Perkins: I see. As you take your first steps into 10 Downing Street tomorrow, what are your immediate plans for this country?
Liz Truss: Well, I’m definitely not going to ban trans conversion therapy.
Perch Perkins: That is very, um, interesting to hear. Do you have anything else to say to our viewers at home?
Liz Truss: We as British people need to be eating more British food. Currently, we import two thirds of our cheese. That. Is. A. Disgrace.
Perch Perkins: …I, uh… well… there you have it folks! The new British prime minister - Liz Truss!
Liz Truss: Thank you, thank you. Oh! And one other thing - I’d like to thank everyone in the Conservative Party who backed my campaign. And to the Tories who voted for Rishi, suck my dick.
Perch Perkins: You have a dick?
Liz Truss: No, I-
Perch Perkins: I thought you just said you hated transgender people-
Liz Truss: No! It’s an expression. And I don’t hate transgender people, they just don’t deserve human rights.
Perch Perkins: I see.
[Liz Truss begins walking off. She begins looking off into the distance, confused, and looks around her.]
Liz Truss: Where the- where the fuck is the exit?
[Cut back to Boris Johnson in jail, finishing reading his letter.]
Boris Johnson: -”yours sincerely, your good friend Liz Truss”. I fucking hate that bitch.
Police Officer Squirrel: You know, even though everyone hates you, you should probably send a letter back.
Boris Johnson: Yeah, I suppose so. Just- just tell the press that I am happy to be passing the torch to Lizzy and that I think she will make a great leader.
Police Officer Panda: But you just said you, and I quote, “fucking hate that bitch”.
Boris Johnson: I do! But they don’t need to know that.
[Everyone falls to the floor in a fit of laughter.]
Peppa Pig Narrator: Boris Johnson loves lying to the media! Everyone loves lying to the media!
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