The Intergalactic Idiots (2008 film)/Transcript

Transcript of the 2008 American animated science-fiction superhero comedy film The Intergalactic Idiots.
==Prologue==
(The Gryphon Animation and Imagine Entertainment logos play)
(We open with text stating "Back in 2075...")
(The film starts with TV static as we open to a news broadcast hosted by two aliens, one being a gelatinous species and the other a furry cat-like alien)
Gelatinous Alien: Good evening, folks! I'm Griffin Glorbnorb...
Cat-like Alien: And I'm Felicia Furrball!
Griffin and Felicia: And this is Ajax News!
Felicia Furrball: Where we bring you all the latest news happening in our wonderful planet of Ajax!
Griffin Glorbnorb: Our breaking news tonight, THERE'S A HORRIBLE MONSTER RUNNING AMUCK IN THE CITY OF BAGNOLIA!
(We see a giant monster attacking the city of Bagnolia, with citizens running around panicking)
(However, at that point, the monster gets zapped by an intergalactic gun and is shrunk)
Felicia Furrball: Wait a minute! It looks like someone shrunk the giant beast! Who could've done it?
(It is revealed that the gun belonged to the biggest hero in the galaxy, Stryker)
Griffin and Felicia: It's Stryker!
(The crowd cheers and the now-shrunken monster gets placed in a small jail cell)
Random Reporter: Stryker, now that you've saved the day yet again, do you have anything to say to your adoring fans?
Stryker: Of course I do! To all those young fans of mine out there, always remember: "True heroes ALWAYS win!"
(We zoom out to show that the news broadcast is being watched by a young animal-like Slinkian named Comet McGee, who is 5 years old at this point of time)
Comet: Hooray! Hooray! Hooray for Stryker!
(His parents, Amy and Kermit McGee watch as he cheers for Stryker)
Kermit: Heh, heh, you must really love that Stryker fellow, huh?
Comet: Yeah, Dad, he's the best! I wanna be just like him when I grow up!
Amy: Aww, looks like we've got an inspiring superhero in our house!
(Comet ties a small blanket to his neck and runs around the house pretending he's a superhero)
Amy: Alrighty, "Super Comet", it's time for bed.
Kermit: Yep, even superheroes need their naps.
(Comet gets in his bed)
Comet: Goodnight, Mom. Goodnight, Dad.
Amy: Goodnight, son.
Kermit: See you in the morning.
(Comet's parents close the door as the prologue ends)
== Part 1: Comet Quits ==
(Text fades in stating "2088: 13 years later...")
(We hear the sound of an alarm clock going off as we see the clock going off while a now 18 year old Comet sleeps)
(Comet groans and he turns off the alarm clock as "Working in the Coal Mine" by Devo plays. He grabs a pizza delivery boy outfit and puts it on along with a delivery boy hat)
Comet: Well, Comet, ol' boy, another day... another headache.
(Comet leaves the house and walks to work as the song continues to play and as the credits play during the scene)
GRYPHON ANIMATION and IMAGINE ENTERTAINMENT presents
an ALVIN HORTON/BRIAN GRAZER production
a SHELDON HIGGINS film
THE INTERGALACTIC IDIOTS
(Comet arrives at his day job at Paul's Interplanetary Pizza where he works at a delivery boy)
(The phone rings and Paul answers the phone)
Paul: This is Paul's Interplanetary Pizza, where our pizza is OUT OF THIS WORLD! How may I help you? Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah. Alright, we'll have that delivered for you right away!
(Paul hangs up on the phone call)
Paul: Alright everybody! We got orders up the wazoo! We gotta hurry up and deliver them! Comet!
(Comet is fast asleep and is snoring)
Paul: Comet... COMET!!!
(Comet wakes up)
Comet: AH! Wh-What?
Paul: Listen, kid, you gotta stop slacking off and get to work delivering these pizzas! You got that?
Comet: *sigh* Yes, boss.
Paul: That's my boy! Now, go go GO!
(Comet leaves the building and gets in his delivery car to deliver pizzas as the song continues to play. Comet delivers all the pizzas to each house in a montage until he arrives at one house and he knocks on the door and the customer answers)
Comet: One pizza, sir.
(The customer takes the pizza and pays Comet)
Comet: What about a tip?
Customer: Here's a good tip, GET A REAL JOB!
(The customer slams the door on Comet. As Comet turns around, he finds the car covered in spray paint by a mischievous kid)
Comet: Hey!
Kid: Ha, ha! See ya later, Vomit!
Comet: It's Comet!
(Comet gets in the car and tries to start it, but it turns out the car ran out of gas. Out of frustration, Comet slams his head on the steering wheel, causing the horn to go off as the song ends)
(The scene transitions back to Paul's Interplanetary Pizza at night during closing time)
Paul: Alright, people, closing time! Everybody wrap it up!
(As everyone gets ready to go home, Comet looks through his phone, looking at an old photo of him as a kid dressing up as a superhero)
Comet: *sigh* If only...
(Another employee, Ricardo, snatches the phone out of Comet's hands)
Comet: Hey!
Ricardo: Hahaha, oh my god!
Comet: Give that back!
Ricardo: No way, this is priceless! You looked like a dork back then! And yet you look like an even bigger one now.
Comet: This isn't funny anymore, Ricardo!
Ricardo: Alright, fine. Here.
(Ricardo throws Comet his phone back)
Comet: Jerk.
Ricardo: Dweeb.
(Everyone starts to leave, but when Comet does, Paul stops him)
Paul: Not so fast. You're on the late night cleaning shift.
Comet: Again? Ugh, when do I get another shift?
Paul: Let's see... NEVER!
(Paul leaves)
Ricardo: See ya later, Comet. Oh, by the way...
(Ricardo deliberately spills his drink)
Ricardo: You better get to cleaning.
(Ricardo leaves)
Comet: *sigh* Someone zap me.
(Comet starts cleaning the pizza place and after that, the scene transitions to Comet walking back all the way home at night until he gets stopped by his friend, Riley Roddenberry)
Riley: Hi, Comet!
Comet: Oh, hey Riley...
Riley: Hey, what's up with you? I've never seen you this down before.
Comet: Oh, it's just work.
Riley: You're still working at that pizza place? I'm telling ya, you should've left a while ago!
Comet: Oh well, at least it pays the bills.
Riley: Why don't you try and find a new job? I'm sure there's plenty of people that are hiring.
Comet: Oh, trust me, I've tried out several jobs before this and every single one of them ended in disaster. I'm probably gonna stay stuck as a delivery boy forever...
???: Hey, you!
Comet: Huh?
(Comet turns around to find a TV in a shop window playing an advertisement)
Stryker (in TV): Have you ever wanted to become a courageous superhero like me? Well, now's your chance! I'll be holding sidekick auditions at the Bagnolia Civic Center this week! One lucky participant will become my very own sidekick, ready to fight crime alongside yours truly! So be there, and remember, "true heroes ALWAYS win!"
Riley: Well, would ya look at that! Sidekick auditions... Maybe now you'll be able to achieve that childhood dream of yours, right, Comet?
(Riley looks at Comet's excited expression)
Riley: Comet?
Comet: YAHOO!
(Comet quickly runs off)
Riley: *sigh* Never a dull moment with him.
(The scene cuts back to Paul at his house as Comet calls him on his phone)
Paul: WHAT?! You quit?!
Comet: That's right! I'm finally gonna become something much more important!
Paul: But you can't quit! You're our best delivery boy!
Comet: I know, I know, but maybe I want to do more than just deliver pizzas. Maybe I wanna become... a superhero!
(Quiet at first, Paul laughs)
Comet: What's so funny?
Paul: Oh, it's just... YOU? A SUPERHERO?! AHAHAHAHA....
Comet: Well, what's so funny about it?
Paul: No offense, Comet, but... how do I say it? You're a weakling. You've barely got any muscles. You're just skin and bones!
(Paul continues to laugh)
Comet: Oh, ha ha, very FUNNY! Just you wait, I'll become a superhero!
(Comet hangs up)
Paul: Yeah, right. He's nothing but a delusional freak...
(Comet arrives back home)
Comet: Honey, I'm home... oh right, I'm not married. 
(Comet's pet, a small gelatinous blob that acts like a dog, runs around his legs)
Comet: Oh, hey Goober!
(Goober barks)
Comet: Aww, I missed you...
(Goober licks Comet's face, leaving slime on him)
Comet: *sigh* That never gets old.
(Comet feeds Goober pudding and gets dressed for bed)
Comet: Tomorrow is gonna rock.
(Comet turns off his lamp)
== Part 2: Stryker's New Sidekick ==
(The scene transitions to an Ajax News broadcast)
Griffin Glorbnorb: Good afternoon from all of us at Ajax News, ladies and gents! I'm Griffin Glorbnorb and today is a very special day for anyone with a dream. The dream to work with our favorite superhero: Stryker! Stryker is holding a lookout for new sidekicks today at the Bagnolia Civic Center and whoever is chosen will become his new sidekick. We now go live to Felicia Furrball over at the civic center. Felicia?
(The scene cuts to Felicia Furrball at the Bagnolia Civic Center, going through the line of participants)
Felicia Furrball: Thank you, Griffin. Yes, that's right, one in these lucky thousands will get to become Stryker's new sidekick! As you can see, we've got thousands of creative minds, ready to try their best at the auditions! But who will be the most muscular? Who will be the most skillful? Who will the most creative? And why am I asking all these questions? 
(The scene cuts to Comet rushing to the civic center with toast in their mouth)
Comet: *huff* *huff* Gotta get to that civic center quick!
(Comet grabs the toast and quickly eats it. Comet then arrives at the civic center and tries to go in, but is grabbed by a burly guard)
Guard: Where do you think you're going?
Comet: To the audition!
Guard: Yeah, well, take a number!
(Comet grabs a piece of paper with a number on it, reading "8,295". Comet looks up at the big civic center screen as it reads "NOW TAKING: 1 OF 8,295" and watches as the "1" changes to "2")
Comet: Of course...
(Comet waits in the line for his number as several other participants leave the civic center being beat up, burnt, squished, stretched, in a cast, and even as a skeleton. As the line gets shorter, Comet gets more tired and tired until eventually falling asleep)
Announcer: 8,295. Come on up, 8,295. HEY STUPID, THAT'S YOU!
(Comet immediately wakes up and enters the civic center, where he finally gets to meet his idol, Stryker)
Stryker: Ah, you must be the last one.
Comet: H-Hello, Mr. Stryker, m-my name is C-C-Comet...
Stryker: Please, please, just call me Stryker.
Comet: A-Alright, Stryker...
Comet's mind: OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I'M ACTUALLY TALKING TO STRYKER, AAAAAAAAAA-
Stryker: You alright?
(Comet quickly snaps out of his mind)
Comet: Oh! Sorry, I'm just kind of nervous about this...
Stryker: Oh, don't worry about it. Plenty of people that came through here were nervous, but they still gave it their all.
Comet: And how did they end up?
Stryker: Mostly bruised, smashed, maimed, and severely hurt, but that's besides the point. Just try your best.
Comet: Alright...
(Comet approaches to the stage)
Comet: Now, I may not have any contraptions, but I do have skills. Watch me lift these giant weights!
(Comet struggles to lift the heavy weights and eventually he does)
Comet: *huff* *huff* Ta-da...
(The weights slip off and fall onto Comet's feet)
Comet: OUCH! F-Forget the weights. I'm quite excellent at boxing, especially shadow boxing!
(Comet starts to literally box with his shadow until his shadow punches him back in the eye, leaving him dazed)
Comet: Now wait just a minute!
(Comet does a few moving exercises with his shadow)
Comet: That's strange...
(Comet's shadow kicks him behind his back)
Comet: Alright, never mind about shadow boxing. I can show you how athletic I am on a trampoline!
(Comet jumps on a trampoline, sporting different poses as he does. However, he goes too high and breaks through the ceiling, crashing outside the civic center. Comet quickly goes back into the civic center)
Comet: *huff* *huff* So... how did... I do?
Stryker: Well... that was certainly interesting. But, you know something? You've got moxie. Spunk. Tenacity. And because of all that, I've got one thing to ask you... wanna be my sidekick?
(Comet quickly becomes bright-eyed and excited)
Comet: You mean it...?
Stryker: Of course.
Comet: Stryker... I'D LOVE TO!
Stryker: Well then... Welcome aboard, Comet. Or should I say... "Cosmic Comet"?
Comet: I get my own sidekick name?! THIS IS AWESOME!
(Comet and Stryker exit the civic center and are immediately bombarded by Felicia Furrball and the Ajax News tech crew)
Felicia Furrball: Felicia Furrball here with the biggest news of the century! After several auditions, we finally have a winner for Stryker's sidekick search. And his name is Comet Halley Weaver! Got any words for all the people watching?
(Comet gets shy as Felicia hands him the microphone)
Comet: Umm...
Stryker: Don't worry about him, he's still a little shy about this. But I can tell that he's got great skills, and I know for certain... He'll change the world.
(Comet gives a happy stare at the camera as the scene ends)
(The scene then cuts to text saying "A few months later..." under Comet, who is seen with a bored stare washing dishes)
Comet: Well, there goes my hopes and dreams...
(Stryker pops in the kitchen)
Stryker: By the way, you missed a few spots.
Comet: You know, when I started out as your "sidekick", I thought I was gonna be helping you fight criminals and monsters and all that hullabaloo.
Stryker: What do you mean? You help out.
(A montage shows Comet doing chores such as cleaning the house, taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and getting rid of mice)
Stryker: Listen, kid, if there's one thing I know, it's that everybody loves the hero, but the sidekick... meh. They're the second bananas, the assistants, second fiddle, low men on the totem pole. Nobody really cares about them.