Hunter Biden

The Scourge of the Omniverse, Hunter Biden, was an antagonistic force in the Rick Hernia Omniverse. He singlehandedly terrorized numerous star systems, slaughtering innocent civilians and conquering worlds. Hunter's mission was to rid the Omniverse of the knowledge of the Force, and to slaughter those who pursued its power. Hunter needed no army; for the blood of the Mummy coursed through his wicked veins and he was effectively immortal. 
=== Family Lineage ===
Hunter Biden was the son of Joe Biden and heir apparent to the Waifurian Throne; unfortunately, Joe Biden's reign ended when he was shot into Alpha Centauri B in a coup. Hunter Biden never became Emperor of the Waifurian Empire. Instead, he spent much of his time scheming and smoking cigarettes. His favorite kind of cigarette was "Portland's Best", a special vegan cigarette which had gone out production after the Hellification of Portland Oregon and the Eye of Sauron's permanent export ban.
=== Worst Birth of All Time ===
Hunter Biden was born to Joe Biden and Child Carrier OS #3210 (Model TS-3) onboard Waifuria Prime in 11 A.B. The egg was fertilized and Hunter grew to the size of a nine-month old fetus in approximately five hours. After his son was born, Joe forgot about him for several years. 
=== Childhood ===
When Biden remembered his son, he brought him back to Memphis, Tennessee. Biden bathed Hunter in the Pond Of Legume, granting Hunter everlasting immortality. Hunter was raised in the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid where his father worked. Hunter watched his father dismantle the Board of Waifuria's systems of checks and balances. He saw the Mummy slowly assume more and more absolute power over the continent, and heard whispers that the Waifurian Empire was taking over places outside of Earth. 
When little Hunter asked his father why he was tearing apart the institution he had fought so hard to protect, Joe was unable to answer. Emperor Biden looked off into the distance and mumbled "mung beans", and then wandered away from his son. 
Hunter was an isolated and lonely child, as most individuals at the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid were corrupt bureaucrats with no interest in little kids. 
=== Teenage Years & Ice Cream Selling ===
In his teenage years, Hunter became estranged from Joe Biden. Joe began leaving his son on read (or worse, delivered), and had his Aides remove Hunter from the premises multiple times. Biden reportedly forgot who Hunter was multiple times and had even called security on him twice. 
After a time, the only occasions where Hunter and Joe would interact would be when Emperor Biden went to get ice cream. Hunter, desperate to have just a minute with his only known relative, begged Ice Cream Dave to hire him at J.F. Sweets as an Ice Cream Truck Driver. Ice Cream Dave refused at first, but changed his mind when Hunter 'let slip' to him who his father was. Great Mysteries. 
When Emperor Biden hobbled out of the pyramid to retrieve his Chocolate Chocolate Chip, Hunter grew excited. He readied the tub of his father's favorite ice cream, excited to make him proud. When Biden got to the truck, he showed no signs that he even recognized Hunter. He stared blankly off into the distance and faintly whispered, 'Chocolate Chocolate Chip'. 
"Hi Dad, it's me.", Hunter said, waving at his father. Joe Biden stared at him for several seconds, smiled softly, and said in a gutteral voice, "I am not the wendigo". Joe then turned around and walked off without his ice cream. 
=== Meeting his Father(Again) ===
Hunter worked his way up the J.F. Sweets chain of command, and eventually found himself working closely with his father plotting where to deploy dronestrikes on battlefield planets. (Unclear why J.F. Sweets was involved with this part of the Imperial Military). When Joe met Hunter first in this context, he remarked how 'odd' it was that they had the same last name. Thanks to his great work plotting where and when to murder civilians, Biden offered Hunter the position as Ambassador to Dutt Kroasis. Hunter took the job, but not for several thousand years later. 
=== Acting Career ===
Hunter started acting while under the employ of J.F. Sweets. Hunter began working on a film called 'Iron Man', which was supposed to be the first in a cinematic universe. However, he tanked the project by constantly berating his co-stars and demanding higher pay, touting his position as the son of the Emperor and Imperial Ambassador. Iron Man was never released and the Marvel Cinematic Universe never came to be. 
=== Hermit on Dutt Kroasis ===
Hunter moved to Dutt Kroasis in 14,321 A.B. During his time there, he became fascinated with Bismuth and began digging out a secret base in the planet's many mineshafts. He also began hearing Voices in his head, and they told him he was Force Sensitive. For the next thirty-five thousand years, Hunter would dwell in the caverns of Dutt Kroasis, occasionally venturing above ground. Hunter began experimenting with his newfound Force abilities on the local creatures. He began force choking rodents in his mind, and eventually moved up to using the Force to stopping their hearts from beating. 
With each new kill, Hunter thought his rage might be quenched; but he found himself feeling more and more hateful with each death. He decided it was time to move up to sentient beings. Hunter's first intelligent victim was a man named Burisma, who Hunter strangulated through esophogeal asphyxiation. Hunter prowled the streets of Dutt Kroasis in secret for the next several years, murdering innocent civilians. Hunter even attempted to kill king Otto Von Bismuth, but was dissapointedly unable to, for unknown reasons. 
=== Assembling Joe Biden II ===
Hunter went partially mad during his millennia in the caverns. After Hunter learned of his father's unfortunate demise, Hunter's insanity was only exacerbated. He began using pieces of the bodies of his Force victims to 'resurrect' his father, unfortunately creating a monstrosity of a cryptoid known as 'Joe Biden II'. After the discovery of this terrible thing (as well as Hunter's illegal underground lab), Hunter was exiled from Dutt Kroasis by King Bismuth and was forced to relocate. 
=== A Stone's Throw Away ===
After being exiled from Dutt Kroasis, Hunter Biden, the scourge of the Omniverse, relocated to Berrand. After using a genocidal Purge Bomb to kill all lifeforms on the planet, Hunter began fashioning himself a city of bronze- a place that he named New Memphis. He had brought several thousand Dutt Kroasins with him (against their will) and used them as slave laborers. Hunter fashioned his image into that of a God, and made his captives worship him as such.
=== Rivalry with Rick Hernia ===
Several hundred years after colonizing Berrand, Rick Hernia and the Gleryate arrived on the barren planet. See Liberation of Berrand
=== Joe Biden's Legumish Incarnate ===
Joe Biden's rotten soul was raised from the core of Alpha Centauri B by the Legume, in an effort to quell Hunter's rapid expansion and gaining of power. Read more about it here. 
== Biden Incident ==
The Biden Incident was right around the corner.
Category:Characters