Blunt Returns

"[THREAD TITLE]" is a [SEASON NUMBER] thread started on [IRL DATE] and finished on [IRL DATE].
==Summary==
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==Full Text==
Eir: “This is so annoying. Just gotta finish this quick for Mistress…”
Akkey grunted in frustration as the second Eir wrestled her to the ground, complaining under her breath. Damn, she’s insanely strong. She glanced worriedly to the side, where she left Hunter and the first Eir. She had to finish this duel quickly and get back to him; he didn’t know how to fight.
The half breed kicked up towards Eir’s stomach, hoping to flip her over like that weapons woman, but she was surprised to see her not budge at all. It was like kicking a wall. She struggled underneath her, wiggling her arm underneath. Just a little more. There! She managed to reach for one of her knives, and she swung straight for the goddess’ temple, embedding it deep in it. The force of the attack made Eir shift her grip slightly, but that was all Akkey needed. Taking advantage of the quick ease of pressure, she bucked her hips again, this time toppling the child onto her side. She rolled away as fast as she could, bringing the point of her blade up in one fluid motion.
“Ugh… what a waste of time,” Eir mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she stood.
Barely a moment later, she sped forward, already at Akkey’s face and grabbing for her neck. “Herhgk!” the half breed choked, caught off guard once more. Too strong. She felt the tiny hands close around her throat, this time refusing to let go. Within two seconds of gaining her footing, she was down again on the ground, weapon flung far from her reach. What in Hel’s name-!
Eir immediately grabbed for one of her arms, pinning it to the ground whilst tightening her hold on her throat. Then she brought a knee up and leaned her abdomen, right on top of the wound, hard, “Die already so I can go back home. So annoying.”
Akkey’s eyes widened and rolled up, her mouth open in a voiceless scream. Her vision was going spotty, she couldn’t breathe. Her free arm gave up attacking Eir and concentrated on getting the child off her, strength leaving her bit by bit. Help.
Blunt: A form jumped through the air, sailing towards Akkey and her opponent. A heavy war hammer came back and then arced upward, smacking the Eir up the chin and causing it to flip off of Akkey.
Blunt’s feet skidding in the snow, grinding to a halt, hammer still raised slightly in the air. He glanced down at Akkey, giving a grin. “Well hi!” he declared.
Akkey: Akkey rolled over and gasped for air, her shoulders heaving. She coughed twice, and looked up at Blunt incredulously. She was momentarily at a loss for words, but she staggered to her feet and jabbed a finger towards him, “’Well hi?’ Really?!”
There was a groan and Eir sat up from where she landed, her chin shattered and falling to the ground. She eyed Blunt lazily, ticked off that another annoying thing came in, “Ugh… die already.”
Blunt: Blunt let the hammer head rest on the ground, folding his arms. “It’s the only proper way to great a fine a friend as you Lady Akkey.” he said to the former chief. He looked at the Eir. “So! You must be one of those wannabes working for one of those wannabe gods eh?”
Akkey: “Friend?!” she hissed, eyeing Eir as she dusted herself off. The goddess ignored Blunt and suddenly charged straight for them, the ground uncharacteristically trembling beneath her tiny feet, “So annoying.” In a quick flash the little girl was gone; she had shifted into a large version of herself, muscles stretching and bellowing her frustration. A huge fist came around straight for the man’s face.
Blunt: Blunt dropped on all fours, dodging the hit, and then threw his whole body upwards, smashing his fist up into the Eir’s jaw. Thrusting his hands forward, he grabbed it tightly by the torso, and toss it off to the side. “Now!” he declared, jerking his shirt off with a flamboyant flurry and clenching his fist. He closed his eyes. “Let’s fight like gentlemen…”
Blunt rushed forward, his knuckles smacking into the Eir’s nose one, and then twice. He bent down, using his powerful shoulders to pound his fists into the Eir’s sides and rib cages. He jerked his head forward, tapping it briskly into the goddess nose to cause it to stumble back, and then continued to slam his fists into it’s stomach and sides. 
Blunt hauled back a fist, hitting the Eir with a right hook that packed the force of a swinging pendulum. He gave her a quick one two three combo in the ribs again, and then grabbed either side of her head. Letting out a exhilarated yell, and jumped into the air, smashing his knee on the under part of her already fracture chin.    
Eir: Eir gave no response of pain nor feeling any of the attacks as they fought. Her style was crude, unrefined, and offensive, unlike Blunt’s. She ignored all of the man’s attacks, letting the healing magic do the work. She only had one goal. Erradicate everyone who would be in the way of the Mistress winnig this war.
She went for his face, his stomach, punching left and right, kicking at his side, anywhere she saw an opening, relying only on her immense strength. She got more and more frustrated when he would dodge and refused to stay down, “Annoying!”
She roared, and used her entire weight to topple the man over, trying to pin him down then smash his head in.
Blunt: Blunt grunted as he caught her fist, and then wrapped one arm around her elbows. Despite the strikes hardly affecting her Blunt continued to fight back like a overly persistent school boy. With his free hand he began punching Eir over and over again in the side of her face. Granted these attacks amount to the level of mere love taps, but this was still something psychologically disconcerting about being hit so many times by someone who was so….stupid.
“So this is what Gruntstop was talking about!” Blunt thought to himself, continuing to hold Eir down, wheezing slightly as her weight pressed into him. “When he said to actually concentrate! I’m actually dodging hits! I’m the best!”    
Eir: Eir had had it. The longer they fought, the more irritated she got. She wrenched herself away from his grip, snapping her arms off and leaving it in pointed shards. She lunged down, the porcelain tips glinting, and managed to stab Blunt in the arm, “You’re so annoying!”
“Not as annoying as you!” Akkey swung the the hammer that Blunt had dropped, grunting at the weight. She used her entire body and force and lost her balance, completely smashing the side of the child’s face. Eir went limp and fell to her side.
Blunt: “Gehe eezz!” Blunt said, gripping his arm and pulling himself to his feet. He whistled once lowly as he grabbed up his shirt and tugged off one of it’s sleeves to make a bandage out of. “Nice shot,” he said to Akkey. 
Eir: Eir angrily got up on her feet before the half breed could respond. She was a wreck. Skin broken and falling in pieces, arms completely snapped off, head almost completely shattered. Her chin and the left side of her face was gone, save for her left eye which merely cracked at the force. She charged again, and Akkey scrambled backwards to dodge. Each movement was taking a toll at the Eir’s body, breaking and disintegrating further. /Odd,/ Akkey thought as she looked for an opening, /Why isn’t she healing herself?/
Blunt: Blunt quickly reached out to help Akkey get out of the way, and then side stepped, sticking out one foot to trip the Eir in her charge.
Akkey: She quickly got to her feet and whirled around, face contorted with fury made more gruesome by the damage, chipping and falling off. The crack in the glass eye grew larger, and two seals identical to the dolls momentarily flashed above both. Akkey hitched her breath, /That’s where it is!/
Eir charged again, roaring and swinging her arms wildly, the points getting dangerously close for comfort.
Blunt: Blunt grabbed her arm and pulled it behind her back, leaping up on top of her and wrapping his legs around her from behind. He struggled with her. “Akkey!” he called. “Akkey did you see it!?” He grunted. “Get it! I can hold her down!”
Eir: “Get off! So annoying! Such a waste of time!,” Eir bucked and heaved herself backwards, trying to flip Blunt onto his back. She managed to shift their positiong but nevertheless he held fast. Akkey ran up, trying to get a clear shot on the child yet she kept struggling, “Yeah, yeah, I got it.” /Why are these targets so freaking small!/
She placed a knee on top of her head to immobilize it, ignoring the porcelain shards embedding themselves in her skin, “You’re the annoying one!“ She lifted her hands and in a flash, icy spikes shot towards Eir, piercing every inch of her head. Including the seals.
There was an odd silence followed by a sickening crunch. Then the seals broke, glass eyes shattering with such a force that it left small cuts on both of them. The body quickly disintegrated beneath them, blowing away in the wind, and they toppled over at its sudden disappearance.
Akkey exhaled in relief. There was no trace left of the Eir.
Blunt: “Wow…” Blunt said, tightening the bandage around his arm. He looked over at Akkey, and then reached over, slapping the back of her shoulder once. “Nice one.” he sniffed, rubbing a finger under his nose. “So how have you been?”
Akkey: Akkey turned her head to stare at him blankly. She had words for him; plenty of angry words, questioning words that were lost in the midst of the battle.
She suddenly threw a hand up and flung a tendril of water, right at his face. Then another. And another. And another. She kept sending water at him in spurts, the falling rain and snowy, muddy ground giving her plenty to use. He sputtered and choked, asking her to stop, but she paused only once long enough to let him breath, then she continued relentlessly.
Soon he was soaked, water dripping down his face and clothes, his hair resembling a very wet, very sad mop. Akkey fell to her knees, breathing heavily and finally tired. She could feel the corners of her mouth twitching into a grin, tempted to laugh at his state but refusing to, “Been better.”
Blunt: Blunt spat out a mouthful of water, clicking his tongue. He walked over and scooped her up, giving her a big hug and letting his wet hair drip all over her. He plopped her back down, satisfied now that he had gotten her shirt wet as well. “I’ll explain everything later,” he said with a small smile. “For now, do you think you could help me find Stonegit? I’d like to tell him that Shovel is ok before he gets himself killed.”
Akkey: “I hate you so much right now,” she stared down at herself, horrified, before looking back up at him. She shook her arms, trying to get it off, “Yeah. Yeah, sure. He’s insanely pissed at you, you know…”
Akkey suddenly jolted upright, scanning their surroundings frantically, “Hunter-!”
“…is perfectly fine,” the healing mage walked up to them, slightly battered but alive, “I’m okay.”
She ran up to him, worried, “How did you-?”
“Even I can destroy eyes, you know. I took care of her,” he grinned down at her, shoving a hand in his pockets. He glanced at Blunt, raising an eyebrow. He’d heard very little of his disappearance, “I see you’re back.” He snapped his fingers and closed up the wound on the Donz’ arm, stopping the bleeding although it still felt slightly sore, “That should hold you while you look for Stonegit.”
Blunt: “Thanks,” Blunt said, and then gave an apologetic look at Akkey. “I really wish I could catch up now…but it might not be prudent during a fight like this…tea later?”
Akkey: She sighed, patting around her pockets for a hair tie. She found one and put up her hair in a pony tail like she used to, “Fine. Just don’t die before then.” She flicked a wrist and a legless puppet, dragging itself on the ground towards them, fell through a portal, “Stonegit should be where Haddock is. If we find the king, we find the bodyguard.”
Blunt: “Then there isn’t a moment to loose,” Blunt said, motioning with his hand. “So how about we go find your dad, and my…” he paused, thinking. “And Stonegit,” he finished. 
Akkey: She raised an eyebrow, wondering what he was about to say, but chose to drop it. She quickly followed him back into the heart of the battle.
Hunter watched them leave, then took out the two items he had shoved in his pocket. They rolled around in his palm, clinking against each other and humming with magic. There was a flash of light, and a voice echoed in his head, You didn’t tell her.
They rolled again and seemed to look straight at him. Hunter shook his head before putting them back, “Not now.” He turned away, towards another part of the battle.
Category:BOTGD
Category:Events
Category:Season 5
Category:Eir
Category:Blunt Donz
Category:Akkey Black
Category:Hunter Lindholm
Category:Greed