Transcript:Herogasm

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|The episode begins the Deep recording a YouTube video.
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!Deep
|(sighing) Past few days have got me feeling a little, um... well, philosophical. Uh, these supervillain attack, they've affected everyone. Doesn't matter who you are, where you're from. We're all in this together. And together, we can imagine a better world. (singing John Lennon's "Imagine") Imagine there's no Heaven.
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|The singing passes through several people, including A-Train. Noir instead holds up signs with lyrics written on them.
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|The scene cuts to the Deep analysing footage from an explosion at Chimp Country with Homelander, Noir and Ashley observing. The footage plays the explosion.
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!Homelander
|Stop. Deep. (sighing) Is there anyone else that can operate this thing? Seriously.
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!Deep
|Ashley thought we should get rid of most of them.
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!Ashley
|What? You fired them.
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!Deep
|Here, I found it. I found it.
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!Homelander
|Okay. Stop.
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|The Deep stops to footage where it shows Soldier Boy in the shot.
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!Homelander
|Zoom in.
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|The Deep zooms in.
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!Homelander
|Soldier Boy.
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!Deep
|No, that's impossible. He died, like forty years ago.
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!Ashley
|Someone's cosplaying?
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!Homelander
|Look at his face. It's him.
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!Deep
|Or maybe CGI.
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!Ashley
|It is not CGI. You don't even know what CGI stands for.
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!Deep
|It's stand for "blow me".
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!Ashley
|I don't understand. Where has he been? Why did he kill Crimson Countess? I mean, the two were, like, fucking Kurt and Goldie. All right, you know what? This is fine. This is fine. We dominate the news cycle. I will call Haberman. We'll message that we got Soldier Boy totally under control.
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!Homelander
|Shut up. You want to tell the world that Soldier Boy, hero of heroes, is back from the fucking dead and blowing up Midtown. Before me, he was Vought. His statue's in front of the fucking building, Ashley. Oh, my God, if this gets out... company's fucked. I'm fucked. Oh, God. If the company falls, I fall. Oh, fuck. Oh, God. Why is this happening to me? This isn't fair. This is so fucking unfair... Okay, I'll handle this. I'm gonna find him and... kill him. You bury it. All of it. The footage, no one sees it. He fucks it up, it's your head. Noir.
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|Noir follows Homelander out of the room as the Deep and Ashley sigh. Noir follows Homelander into the hall.
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!Homelander
|Why would he kill Crimson Countess? He was your team leader, you have any idea?
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|Noir remains still.
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!Homelander
|I'm really glad to have you with me on this one, pal. Seriously, you're the only one I can count on.
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|Homelander pats Noir on the shoulder. An elevator door opens nearby and Noir goes to it. The door closes with Noir and a woman inside. Noir takes out a knife and stabs his left arm, making the woman scream. His blood sprays around and onto the woman's face as he cuts his arm open and pulls out his chip. He then turns to the woman and gives it to her.
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!Woman from accounting
|Uh... thank you.
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|Noir quickly exits the elevator as the woman whimpers.
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|The scene cuts to a motel where Butcher, Hughie and Soldier Boy are. Soldier Boy empties a bag of food from Vought-a-Burger as Hughie scratches his ear and sees blood on his finger after scratching.
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!Hughie
|What the hell?
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!Soldier Boy
|Where's the Chop Socky Oriental Sauce?
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!Hughie
|They don't have that anymore.
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!Soldier Boy
|Why the fuck not?
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!Hughie
|Uh, many... many good reasons.
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!Soldier Boy
|Did you get the other shit?
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|Butcher takes out a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of pills.
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!Butcher
|Here you go, guv.
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!Soldier Boy
|Man, I miss Bennies. It's how we won D-Day, you know. We were wired to the fucking gills.
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!Butcher
|Listen, let’s have a little chat about this team-up, yeah?
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!Soldier Boy
|Yeah, what the hell do I need a team for? The last one handed me to the Reds.
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!Butcher
|And we got you out of that little pickle. We wrapped up Crimson Countess and delivered her like a fucking Christmas turkey, and I even sorted Gunpowder for you.
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!Soldier Boy
|Why am I supposed to be impressed with that?
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!Butcher
|That’s like killing Emmanuel Lewis.