Mlp Eqg Parody Rock A Bye Birdie

Bon Bon: [runs outside to retrieve the newspaper] Candy, the paper's here!
[Candy comes out on a motorized skateboard. Bon Bon gives her the paper but keeps the rubber band.]
Bon Bon: You can have this, buddy. 'Cause all I need is the entertainment section!
[Bon Bon shakes the rubber band around for emphasis. Hums while she stretches the rubber band around the middle of her body and snaps it together, turning her into a bowtie-like shape]
Bon Bon: I am a happy girl! [runs around, laughing, while Candy is reading the paper]
Candy: [looking slightly annoyed by Bon Bon by rolling her eyes] Meow. [Bon Bon runs into Lyra, who also has a rubber band stretched around her]
Lyra: I see you got the paper. [her rubber band snaps off]
Bon Bon: Oh, hey, Lyra. [then her rubber band snaps off as well. Lyra clears her throat] Well, I'd better get going.
Lyra: Yep, see you later. [both walk off but then hear a chirping sound and they both quickly run back, with their hands over their ears]
Bon Bon and Lyra: What did you say?
Lyra: Well, I didn't say anything.
Bon Bon: I didn't say anything, either.
Bon Bon and Lyra: See you later then. [both walk off again and the squeaking noise is heard again, so they both run back. This time, they are angry]
Bon Bon: [Pointing at Lyra] Alright, quit messing with me, I know you said something.
Lyra: Ah, but it is you [points] that is messing with me. [both look down to see the squeaking noise is coming from a shaking branch. Lyra points downward.] That's what's messing with us.
Bon Bon: It's a baby bird.
Lyra: [lifts up her foot with a threatening look on her face, looking as though she is about to smash the bird] I'll take care of this!
Bon Bon: No, Lyra! It's totally helpless. [takes the baby bird in her hands] It looks like he can't even fly yet.
Lyra: What's the matter, is he stupid?
Bon Bon: No, Lyra, he's just a baby. [close-up of the chirping bird in Bon Bon's hands] He's all alone with no one to take care of him.
Lyra: Well, we can't just leave him out here.
Bon Bon: You're right. Come on, let's take him into my house. [both run in and set the baby bird on the ground] Hmmm, let's see, we need a box for him to sleep in. [Bon Bon brings a box and sets it in front of the bird] There you go. It's the best seat [points to her rear] in the house. [scene cuts to Candy, who does a rimshot]
Lyra: Let me see! [Lyra sticks her whole head inside the box] Hey, he's kinda cute. Uh-oh! [takes her head out, which is now eaten on the side] I think somebody's hungry!
Bon Bon: [takes out Junior and speaks in baby-talk to it] Is it true? Are you hungry?
Junior: [chirping happily] Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep!
Bon Bon: I've got just the thing. [puts Junior on a barrel and takes out a burger] How would you like a burger? [Junior yelps]
Lyra: Bon Bon are you crazy? That's not the right food for a little fella like him!
Bon Bon: Of course not. I don't know what I was thinking. What he needs is a tiny burger. [shows Junior a minuscule burger]
Junior: [sniffs the burger, then sticks his tongue out in disgust] Blech!
Bon Bon: Huh? No one's ever turned down one of these before. [gobbles it and gulps it down]
Lyra: [holds up a donut] Let's try a donut. [Junior hisses]
Bon Bon: [holds up a tray of French fries] French fries?
Junior: [shaking his head] Unh-unh.
Lyra: [eating the donut] A donut? [Junior blows a raspberry]
Bon Bon: [holds up an apple] All we have left is this apple. [a worm pokes its head out of the apple]
Worm: Hello, humans! I bring you greetings from Apple World! [Junior chirps in excitement]
Bon Bon: Of course, birds love worms. [picks up the worm]
Worm: Huh, wait! We will bury you! [Bon Bon drops it in Junior's mouth]
Bon Bon: Well, you should be good for the rest of the... [Junior cries]
Lyra: What now?
Bon Bon: I don't know! Aww, don't cry. [Junior is still crying]
Lyra: Do something, Bon Bon!
Bon Bon: Uhh...uhh...uhh... Blah-blah-blah, look at the funny face! Doo, doo-doo, doo-doo! Look at the funny face! [shows Bon Bon has a puppet that looks like her on her hand] Look at the funny face!
Lyra: Wait. I think I might know the problem. [picks up Junior and looks at him] Yep, that's it, alright. [hides it behind her back] Hold on just one second. There he is, good as new. [Junior has a diaper on]
Bon Bon: How did you know?
Lyra: How do you think? [shows a picture of herself as a baby wearing a diaper] And I've been doing it all by myself for almost a year when i was a baby.
Bon Bon: Wow, I'm sure glad you're here.
Lyra: I know, good thing there's two of us.
Bon Bon: You know, Lyra, since this bird doesn't have parents, we should raise it ourselves.
Lyra: Yeah. At least until it's old enough to be on its own! Oh, I wanna be the mom.
Bon Bon: I don't think you can be the mom, because I want be the mom.
Lyra: (sighs) Alright I'll be the dad.
Bon Bon: Great! Now let's have fun!
Lyra: Yeah!!
[Montage]
Lyra: [softly, from inside the house] It sure is cute when it's asleep.
Bon Bon: [softly, from inside the house] Yeah. [Bon Bon and Lyra watch Junior sleeping] Shh! [both tiptoe out of the room]
Lyra: Hey, Bon Bon?
Bon Bon: [gets into her bed] Yes, Lyra?
Lyra: I never thought being a parent could be this much fun.
Bon Bon: Me neither.
[Lyra is sleeping in a hammock]
Lyra: Well, good night, Bon Bon.
Bon Bon: Good night, Lyra. [Bon Bon turns off the lighs, scene cuts to morning] Oh Lyra, breakfast is ready! [Bon Bon is cooking something on the grill as Lyra walks in, noticing the bunch of food that is on the table]
Lyra: Alright. All this parenting stuff makes me hungry. [lifts the table up as all the food slides down into her mouth. She burps, then pats Junior] Hey, Junior, how are you doing today? [smells an odor from Junior] Bon Bon? [adjusts her tie]
Bon Bon: Yes, Lyra?
Lyra: Kid's got a stinky.
Bon Bon: [doing many chores at the same time] Can you take care of him? My hands are kind of full.
[Lyra guzzles down the coffee as Junior begins to cry]
Lyra: [drinking coffee] Ahh. Wish I could, but I gotta get going.
Bon Bon: Going? Where are you going?
Lyra: [puts on a suit and takes her briefcase] I'm goin' to work. I'm the dad, remember?
Bon Bon: You mean I have to do all this baby stuff myself?
Lyra: I'll give you a break tonight when I get home. Don't you two stop being adorable. [chuckles as she closes the door]
Bon Bon: Okay. [chuckles weakly. Day turns into night, and Lyra walks in and takes her jacket and hat off]
Lyra: Phew, what a day.
Bon Bon: Oh, great, you're home. Now you can help me with the baby.
Lyra: Aw, gee, Bon Bon, I'd love to, but I'm totally beat from work.
Bon Bon: Huh? [Lyra sits down and watches TV. A coconut "clonk" sound effect is heard.]
Lyra: [laughs] That guy got hit in the head with a coconut!
Bon Bon: [Bon Bon walks in still doing the chores] Lyra, what about my break?
Lyra: Oh yeah, your break. Uh, tomorrow, I promise.
Bon Bon: Uhh, okay, tomorrow.
Narrator: Tomorrow... [scene cuts to Lyra walking in at night and taking her stuff off]
Lyra: Phew, another tough day. [walks by Bon Bon, who is still doing the same chores from yesterday]
Bon Bon: Oh, Lyra, I'm so glad you're home after working all day. I can't wait for my break.
Lyra: Work was a killer. I need my chair. [sits down and watches TV again]
Bon Bon: [walks in still doing chores] Lyra, I really need my...
Lyra: Tomorrow for sure.
Narrator: Tomorrow for sure...
Bon Bon: Lyra?
Lyra: I'll get to it eventually...
Narrator: Eventually... [scene cuts to Bon Bon still doing the chores but even more tired]
Bon Bon: Uhhh?
Lyra: Uhhh.
Narrator: Uhhh... [scene cuts to Lyra watching TV as an angry Bon Bon walks in and turns on the lights]
Bon Bon: Lyra Heartstrings, we need to talk.
Lyra: Just one more minute, I gotta...
Bon Bon: Don't 'one more minute' me, Mrs. Lady! [turns off the TV]
Lyra: Hey, I'm missin' the coconut! [she gives Bon Bon an angry look]
Bon Bon: You haven't been helping at all with Junior! [pulls in baby stroller] We made a commitment and you're not doing your share! You never do anything.
Lyra: I changed his diaper!
Bon Bon: Yeah, once.
Lyra: He's only this big. [shows with her hands on how big Junior is] How many diapers could he possibly use?
Bon Bon: [opens up a trash can full of diapers] Hmmm?
Lyra: Oh, that's not so much.
Bon Bon: [points over to the corner of the room where there are two bags and a trash can full of diapers] Hmmm?
Lyra: [nervously] So?
Bon Bon: [opens up the refrigerator, full of diapers] Hmmm? [pulls the cover off the couch, revealing it to be diapers] Hmmm? [tears the wallpaper off the wall, revealing a bunch of diapers behind it] Hmmm!? [points outside to a garbage truck loading a bunch of diapers into the dumpster. Lyra quivers at the sight of it]
Lyra: [her eyes fill with tears] I have no idea! What kind of a father am I?! Oh! [sobs as she looks at Bon Bon as she smiles] I'll make it up to you, Bons. I promise. [scene cuts to next day]
Bon Bon: So, what's the plan for the day?
Lyra: No more foolin' around. From now on, I'm Super-Dad! I'll work straight through lunch so I can get home on time. So make sure you save a big ol' stinky diaper for me to change, and you can take the night off, Bons.
Bon Bon: [gives Lyra her briefcase as she departs] Great, so I'll see you at six o'clock.
Lyra: Six o'clock.
Bon Bon: Six o'clock.
Lyra: Six o'clock.
Bon Bon [waving] Six o'clock.
Lyra: [waving] Six o'clock.
Bon Bon: Six o'clock.
Lyra: Six o'clock. [cuts to a time card]
Narrator: 12:00 midnight.
Lyra: [with a lampshade on her head] Oh, that was some party. [Bon Bon is wearing her mother-like clothing and she gives Lyra a bitter look] Oh, hey, Bon Bon. Hey, Junior. [Bon Bon now looks at Lyra angrily as she taps her foot] What? What?
Bon Bon: Oh, nothing.
Lyra: Oh, what a relief. [takes the lampshade off her head and puts it on Bon Bon] For a second there, I thought you were mad at me.
Bon Bon: [takes the lampshade off her head] Do you remember what you said to me this morning?
Lyra: Somethin' about root beer, right?
Bon Bon: [takes a deep breath, flatly] No.
Lyra: Oh wait, wait, let me guess. I give up.
Bon Bon: Does... [imitates Lyra in a mocking tone with a goofy look on her face] "You can take the night off, Bons!" [normal voice] ...ring a bell?
Lyra: [blows a raspberry] I don't need this. [walks outside]
Bon Bon: What?! [walks to the door] Where do you think you're going?
Lyra: [in her house] I'm going back to work! [gets in and closes the door]
Bon Bon: Work?! [growls and rips off her hairpiece]
[Cut to Bon Bon, not wearing her mother-like clothing anymore, walking outside to Lyra's house. She opens the door, and finds Lyra in her easy chair, watching TV]
Lyra: [two "clonk" sounds are heard on the TV; laughs] He got hit in the head with two coconuts!
Bon Bon: [angrily] So, this is work?
Lyra: You know, it's not as easy as it looks. Sometimes, I gotta move the antenna, sometimes, I lose the remote, [looks at her rear] and sometimes, my butt itches real bad!
Bon Bon: [sarcastically] Oh, you poor, poor thing. By the way, you forgot your briefcase! [she pulls a briefcase out from behind her back, and opens it up to reveal that it is filled with donuts and ice cream sundaes as she angrily dumps it all over Lyra]
Lyra: [quietly but furiously] Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime?
[Bon Bon is enraged. She balls her fists and fumes so hard, her entire body shakes. Then she loses her temper and goes ballistic on Lyra, and shouts in fury.]
Bon Bon: [Screaming intensely] OVERTIME?!
[Bon Bon and Lyra's are yelling each other, and they both begin to argue intensely.]
Bon Bon: [overlapping Lyra] Oh, boy, yeah, you're working!
Lyra: You know what that means?
Bon Bon: And that's the kind of work you're doing?
Lyra: ​It means working when you're just too tired to work!
Bon Bon: Show me where I can sign up for this, because I've been working my fingers to the bone!
[Junior is heard beginning to chirp]
Lyra: You just keep going on working and working!
Bon Bon: ​You never help! [screams] NEVER!
[Junior's chirping intensifies, which makes the two finally stop arguing and listen to it]
Lyra: [still mad] There's that stupid noise again!
Bon Bon: Oh, that's not a stupid noise. That's just Junior about to jump out of that two-story window.
[Lyra and Bon Bon see Junior teetering on the edge of the window of Bon Bon's house, ready to fly.]
Lyra: [calmly] Oh.
[All at once, Lyra and Bon Bon are struck with shock by what's really happening.]
Both: [eyes bulge in horror, screaming] JUNIOR!
[Junior jumps down the window. Bon Bon and Lyra quickly run to catch Junior but they slam on Bon Bon's house. Bon Bon then bounces out of Lyra's stomach]
Bon Bon: [Frantic] Did you catch him?!
Lyra: [looking sadly at her empty hands] No.
Both: We're bad parents! [They break down sobbing. Then they stop when they notice that chirping Junior is flying above them.]
Bon Bon: Junior? Hey, he's flying.
Lyra: I guess he's all grown up. [Junior kisses Bon Bon then flies off] Hey, what about Daddy? [Junior drops a coconut on Lyra's head for her laziness then kisses her] That's my boy.
Bon Bon: Goodbye.
Lyra: [the coconut falls down] Goodbye, Junior.
[they watch Junior fly away]
Bon Bon: Well, Lyra, he doesn't need us anymore.
Lyra: This is the hardest part of every parent's life, I assume.
Bon Bon: Despite all we've been through, it was worth it.
Lyra: Yeah... Let's have another.
[Bon Bon looks shocked]
Category:My Little Pony Parodies
Category:Parodies