20 Questions, 0 Answers

"20 Questions, 0 Answers" is the twelvth episode of Season 3 of Life in Bikini Bottom, and the 41st overall.
==Characters==
TBA
==Synopsis==
The SpongeCockians are sent on a journey to go find series creator DanzxvFan8275 in an attempt to save Bikini Bottom. However, their treacherous journey wears them down across the ocean wears them down. Meanwhile, Fricky gets into trouble with the law when he tries to return to his gang in Bikini Bottom.
==Plot==
[episode starts with a flashback to the end of last episode. “Step up, grow some balls, and maybe we can make a deal,” Shitward says assertively to Fatdick, the New Kelp City president. “Alright, alright, fair, agreed. Listen, we’ll give you all the aid you so desire, if you do us a favor,” Fatdick says. An ominous zooming in is shown on both him and SpongeCock’s posse.]
“We’ll do what you want. Anything,” SpongeCock says. “Yeah, we won’t stop at anything in order to defeat fascism for good. Well, unless it involves money.” Kraps makes clear, as everyone else gives an angry look at him. “Uhh… don’t mind me,” he says as he starts to sweat. Fatdick ignores him and carries on. “Very well.” He steps away to the window of the town hall, before taking a deep breath and facing back at the guys. “Gentlemen, since the beginning of my tenure here, I’ve been met with many tragedies. Well, really, ever since I came out of the womb, if we wanna go there.” “I came out of a womb once! In fact, it was the womb of the woman you gave a really good pounding to!” Fatprick says, overly excited. Fatdick chuckles. “OH yeah, that was one of the greatest days of my life. Sweet, sweet love down by the-” “CAN YOU JUST TELL US ALREADY?!” SpongeCock screams, before retreating back to his normal voice. “My apologies.” “There’s someone I’ve been trying to get in contact with for years. And that person is none other than…” he then puts a flashlight to his face to sound more menacing. “Phillydan25.”
“Uh, what was the point of the flashlight? It’s not like you were talking about CrazySponge.” SpongeCock complains. “And really? Why would you want to speak to that pervert? And doesn’t he go by Danzxv-” “Enough of the questions! I’ll elaborate,” Fatdick snaps back. “I’ve seen all of his crimes. Once a bright young lad, he was as naive and innocent as he could be. Then, one dark day in February 2017, he decided to join this piece of shit site.” “Site? But we live underwater,” Shitward questions, before Fatdick just continues to ramble on. “Look, I may sound like a Karen, or even a Polfgecks652, but to that I say… at least I don’t penetrate fruit!” 
“Woah woah woah,” Fricky backs up. “Dan? The guy who wrote us to be like this? His episodes read like they’re heroin infused with weed trips, and yes, even though my dad is complicit in that, I’ve got no time to meet the guy who thought it was a good idea to force me into this goddamn show. I’ve got a protest to work on, my gang needs me!” Fricky lets it all out.” “Do you want to defeat Bastard or not, young man?” Fatdick poses, somewhat like a rhetorical question. “I’ll be taking a stand against him either way.” Fricky responds. “I’ll just get Puss to come get me, screw this.” Fricky then walks out of the room, with the camera focused on him. “Fricky? Where the hell are you going?” “Pfft. Don’t worry. I could give a shit about the guy who made me, I wanna know the WOMAN who made me,” he says, as he slams the door shut and is seen power walking down the hallway.
“Fricky! Everyone else left in the room is shown with a deadpan expression before turning back to conversation. “So, what do you say?” Fatdick asks. Fatprick nods. “Anything to get you with the alliance, dad!” “Yeah. I bet I could smoke a mean ass blunt with the dude,” SpongeCock says, as he starts to laugh uncontrollable. “Stay on the mission, Cock,” Shitward says, before SpongeCock goes back to normal. “Alright. But you still gotta give us an upfront payment. You know, give us the aid in increments.” “Okay, whatever,” Fatdick says. “I’ll launch a couple missiles tonight. Maybe that’ll disrupt the rest of Trump’s term. SpongeCock then chuckles, before his face turns back to a serious expression. “Wait… but that doesn’t even matter. Bastard is calling the vast majority of the shots right now-” “WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!” Fatdick yells at them, before everyone shrugs and walks out. “Hehe. Just playin’ around.” Fatdick then looks at the camera. “What? Look, it’s fanfiction, it was about time the writer puts a self-insert of him into the show, why not now? Pffft, you’ll get over it.”
Donald Trump: I’m going down to Bikini Bottom, gonna grab myself a pussy!
SpongeCock + Shitward: Fascism is everywhere, you don’t know what you got into!
Joe Biden: I’m going down to Bikini Bottom, gonna sniff myself some hair.
Fatprick: I was gonna take a shit, the government is tryna stop me!
Bernie Sanders: I’m going down to Bikini Bottom, let’s have Medicare for All!
Gory: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!
Mr. Kraps: They just took all of me money…
Sheldon Bastard: So come on down to Bikini Bottom, because you’ll be my slave here!
                    			AT THE CUM BUCKET
We see Bastard patiently awaiting Biden and Trump to walk through the front doors, with Polfgecks652 on his side. “I don’t even remember who I voted for! Neither of the candidates had a fruit policy,” Polfgecks exclaims. “Nah, but surely-“ “Eh, I probably just voted for both of them.” They then walk through the doors, to which Bastard greets them passionately. “Ah, gentlemen, welcome. Don’t be shy, COVID doesn’t apply to us essential people,” Bastard informs them. “I never followed COVID anyway, it’s clearly just a hoax made by the looney left,” Trump responds with a smirk. “So, President-Elect Biden, are you ready for business? Nothing but cold, hard business?” “Say, I ran a business once! It was an ice cream truck so I could attract all the kiddies,” Biden says. “So yes.” “And I’m a businessman. Just not a very good one,” Trump says, as Bastard leads both of them into the Cum Bucket lab. 
“This, gentlemen, is my lab,” Bastard introduces them, as we get a moving snap of the lab. “When I used to jack my dick to science, I was in here failing stuff all the time, trying to snatch that weed patty formula from Kraps.” He then gets a smile on his face. “We’ll have to make that one of your tasks, snatching the formula. But back on topic.” Both Trump and Biden simultaneously ask “Have you cloned any kids before?” To which Bastard facepalms. “If I couldn’t clone weed, what makes you think I could clone a living creature?” “Woah, woah,” Trump says in response. “You know our policy on weed, Sheldon. It’s the lettuce of the devil! That reminds me, I should go put every migrant I see in a cage and then shoot them. Yeah, that sounds about right.” 
“Well, I was gonna say that this is where I keep control of all of the cameras, take command of everything, all that good stuff, but clearly you’re used to all this,” Bastard says. “Go ahead, knock yourself out.” Both Trump and Biden begin to scurry off, before Trumps comes back over and lets out a deep sigh. “When should I tell him?” Trump says, as we cut to Biden smashing random buttons on a control panel. “Shhh. We have to keep it a secret. This is actually going well, don’t screw it up!” Bastard says, as Trump leaves to go to the panel.
                                               BACK TO THE JOURNEY
SpongeCock, Kraps, Shitward, and Fatprick are all seen hiking along a mountain just outside of New Kelp City. We see the former three keeping their ground, but Fatprick starts to fall behind and moan loudly. “Come on, Fatprick!” SpongeCock encourages him. “We need to make everything great agai- uh, I mean good again,” he corrects himself, following a dirty look from Shitward. Fatprick is shown to be eating ice cream cake to gain some energy back. “You were saying?” He says, with his words being muffled. “Fatprick! That’s our only food! We have to ration it out,” SpongeCock says, to which Fatprick shoots a sad look. As he puts it down, he shoves an LIBB licensed dildo in his mouth, to which he shoots out. However, this causes a large bit of snow to rush down from the top of the mountain. All four of them yell as they try to escape it, but it eventually traps them. “Goddamnit,” Fatprick yells. “I knew we should’ve taken the jets like we did for Area 51.” “Yeah, except Bikini Bottom kinda already took them, plus they were always Bikini Bottom’s anyway,” SpongeCock calls Fatprick off.
“Don’t worry, I’ll call for help,” SpongeCock offers, as he turns on his watch to alert the New Kelp City police. “They’ve gotta give us this aid at l-” “What is it, lad?” Kraps asks, while looking at the watch. “Oh, nothing,” SpongeCock assures him, “just saw that Biden won. Not like I really cared anyway.” Kraps’ face is shown, as he at first looks on still. “Uh… are you okay Mr. Kraps?” Part of shell begins to crack off, clearly on the verge of a breakdown. “WAHH!” He lets out, starting to burst into tears. “THEY RIGGED IT AGAINST TRUMP!” he shouts in anger, as his tears start to melt the snow, causing them to be able to stand right back up. “Sounds like we’ve got a salty situation on our hands, right guys?” SpongeCock starts laughing, to which everyone else is looking at him unimpressed. After a couple seconds, they continue their journey up the mountain, leaving him to stop laughing. “Pffft, losers,” SpongeCock mutters as he starts to follow them.
MEANWHILE, BACK TO FRICKY
Fricky is seen walking the treacherous journey from New Kelp City back to Bikini Bottom/SpongeCockia. “Ugh, how do I always get myself into these situations?” He starts complaining, as he puts a knife on his belt and readjusts it. “Either I stand up for what I want and find out who my mom is, or I get world recognition for decrowning that tyrant.” He then stops in his tracks for a second before bursting into laughter. “Just kidding, this isn’t even a close call,” he says, as he continues his journey. 
The camera shifts over to a location in the desert, where we see a bunch of cops setting up shop surrounding a barrage of cop cars. They seem to be marked with Bikini Bottom logos and text. “Ugh. I don’t get paid enough for this job.” One of them starts complaining, as they pull out a cigarette and starts to take a puff after lighting it. “But we get to see starfish vanishing one by one, that’s gotta be worth SOMETHING, right?” “You make a fair point. I just can’t stand the fact that we let those goddamn SpongeCockians get away, ESPECIALLY their fatass snaggertooth looking starfish sychopant.” One of the other officers, who is humping a cactus, starts to make loud moaning noises before he finishes in it with his eyes crossed. “Oh yeah, that’s some good medley, now I know why they store all that water in these sons of b- HEY WAIT A MINUTE!” The officer stretches himself out to see Fricky walking along on the outskirts of the desert. “That looks like the ‘president’s’ son, doesn’t it?” Several of the cops rush over to go confront Fricky, but a couple of them stay back. “So, cactuses are really that sexy, you say?” 
We see Fricky trying to dial Scotty’s number on his phone, but before he can hit the call button, he gets interrupted by the cops yelling at him, causing him to drop his phone. “FREEZE! You’re under arrest, kid,” one of them yells, while pointing a gun at him. “Look, we’re not gonna kill you, because thank god you’re just a sponge,” he persuades him, “but you’re getting locked away.” “For what?” Fricky stands up for himself. “Can’t a guy just walk around here?” “Not when they have a warrant out by the guy who pays us, no, they can’t,” the cop answers. He walks over to him with a taser, getting ready to shock him. “Alright, now hold still.” “NEVER!” Fricky lunges at the cop, pinning him against the ground, somehow strong enough to keep him down. He pulls out his knife, to which he draws closely to his face. “No! Don’t kill me! I have a wife at home! Well, an ex-wife, at least,” he tries to convince, before Fricky begins to bring the knife closer. However, it appears that he puts it lower, cutting off the cop’s badge from his shirt. 
“NO! NOT MY BADGE! Now how can I get away with crimes without being able to claim I’m stopping them Get him,” he orders, as Fricky soon gets pummeled on by almost the entire police force. He’s struggling at the bottom of the pile. “I see you guys don’t have the COVID guidelines on your asses either,” he says, chastising the cops. He pulls out his knife, being able to squirm away while cutting off more badges. He soon gets back on his feet, backing up slowly. “Be careful! Maybe I’ll also-” However, due to him not seeing where he’s going, he backs up into a cactus, to which one of the pricks gets caught in his ass. “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD, THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE?!” One of the cops soon gets back up with a taser in hand, being able to hit him with it and knocking him on the ground. “Well, I was gonna let him go, but when he made contact with the cactus, I knew I had to get him good!” The officer says, while picking him up and tossing Fricky in a car. The camera pans on him, beginning to open his eyes. “Welp… here goes nothing,” he says quietly, while falling back asleep.
		MEANWHILE…
Fatprick is shown frolicking around with a smile as the other 3 are walking normally with a serious face. “WE’RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE DEGENERATE WIZARD OF DAN!” “Yeah, you’re one to call someone degenerate,” Mr. Kraps says blankly. “At least I don’t orgasm whenever I see a Trump flag! Or money!” Fatprick fires back. “Ah, so you’re a Bikini Bottom-hating marxist, huh?” “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” SpongeCock and Shitward both yell, as both of them back down. “Sorry, guys, but we have no time for arguing.” “But I want to debate this libtard! Biden-voting pussy,” Kraps says. “Actually, I didn’t vote. I was too drunk on ice cream cake to get my fat ass to the polls.”
The SpongeCockians continue to walk up a slope, and with none of them realizing, they’ve reached land. All four of them are now walking on a beach, as they all stop. “Uhh… SpongeCock?” Shitward asks. “Yeah?” “Are we… are we on land?” “Yeah, why?” “Well…” All of them flop to the ground and start gasping for breath. With their last ounces of might, Kraps, SpongeCock, and Shitward all pull themselves over to the ocean, soaking up all the water. They also all get water helmets (don’t ask me where they got them, it’s a cartoon anything can happen). They then climb back above water and start to pant. “Fuck me right in my hole… that was close,” SpongeCock says. “Depends, which hole?” Kraps asks. “Wait… FATPRICK!” 
The camera pans on Fatprick, who is now almost completely dried out. All three of them rush over to drag him over to the ocean. “HE’S TOO FUCKING FAT! EVEN AFTER LOSING ALL THIS WATER WEIGHT!” Shitward yells, but SpongeCock shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter, we can’t let him-” “Uh, lad?” Kraps says, as Fatprick slips out of their hands and falls back onto the sand. “This is bad, this is bad, this is bad…” SpongeCock freaks out. “This is great, this is great, this is great…” Kraps and Shitward begin to celebrate. “Well, I would’ve preferred to bust his ass with my glock, but beggars can’t be choosers I guess,” Shitward corrects.
“HEY GUYS!” A voice yells from off the screen, as the three turn their heads in confusion. It’s shown to be Fatprick, who is carrying an ice cream cake in both hands. “Hey, what the hell is that in the middle of you?” SpongeCock has to double take before responding. “Huh? So you’re not dead?” “Well, I am DYING because of the taste of them California ice cream cakes.” He then hears his stomach turn. “Welp, looks like I have to test out those California public restrooms, too. I take it back, maybe I am dying.” He’s then shown to be hightailing off to the distance. “He really couldn’t have ran that fast when we needed him t- oh what the hell,” Shitward digresses.
CUT TO FRICKY’S POLITICAL IMPRISONMENT
We see the cop car turning a corner to reach the Bikini Bottom police station. “Well, kid, you’re at the end of the road.” “You can’t do this to me!” Fricky complains. “I’m just a kid, plus I have matters to attend to. You think that these causes are just gonna protest themselves?” The cop tightens his grin. “Yeah, that’s the reason we’re bringing you in. Well, and for treason,” he adds on, as they stop the car and bring Fricky into the station. 
They enter the doors to see an almost baron jail, with most of the prisoners spread out due to COVID. “Alright, Mr. SquarePants,” one of the officers say, while putting him through his mugshot. “Say… I’m a war criminal.” “What?!” Fricky reacts. “So are you!” “SAY IT!” He says, as Fricky rolls his eyes. “...I’m a war criminal,” as his mugshot is shown. He’s still in his handcuffs, as the officer brings him to a cell and lets him in. “This’ll be your new home for a LONG while, bud,” he says condescendingly, as he uncuffs Fricky and throws him in, to which he faceplants on the ground. “Ugh. This couldn’t get any worse,” he says, as he gets up. However, he quickly sees Mr. Renaud in the same cell as him. “MR. RENAUD?! What the hell are you doing here?” Renaud gets a grin on his face at the sight of Fricky. “Whaddya know? I got caught trying to film one of my good ol’ Grade A pornos,” he explains. “They arrested me mid-nut! I still have blue balls! But oh my god, this sure is my wet dream come true,” Renaud says, while clutching his hands at Fricky. “AHHH! I KNEW I’D HATE IT HERE!” Renaud gets interrupted by a cop entering the cell. “Paul Renaud?” “Yes?” “We just got a call from the president, he says he is pardoning you… I guess the new administration is adamant about you, too,” the cop says, to which Renaud frowns. “Aw man. I didn’t even wanna be pardoned this time!” He then follows the cop out of the cell, leaving Fricky alone.
“Well, surely this isn’t as bad,” Fricky says, as he lays down on his bed, starting to nap away on his hammock. The camera pans over to outside the prison as we continue to hear him snoring, to which we see Mrs. Puss walk onto the scene. She pulls out a walkie talkie, looking for a signal. “Come in Scotty, come in Scotty. This shit isn’t over yet.”
					THROUGH THE TREACHEROUS TERRAIN
The SpongeCockians are shown making their way up several mountains, still covered in rain and mud from earlier. They prepare to fight heavy winds, as they are seen to be crouching down and taking cover. “Ugh. How much longer?” Kraps complains. “Well, this Dan guy lives in New Jersey, and we’re in… *checks map* Nevada right now. So only…. *looks up travel route* 2500 miles to go.” “Aw man, you really expect me to walk that far? Be reasonable,” Fatprick complains. “Fatprick, we had to carry you this whole time, deal with your bullshit… you’ve hardly done anything!” “That’s easy for you to say,” he says, shaking his head. Shitwards goes over to SpongeCock. “SpongeCock’s right. We made it this far, we might as well go the full distance.” Fatprick sighs. “Easy for you to-” Kraps squeezes his mouth with his claw, as he drags Fatprick along with the rest of the crew.
SpongeCock continues to walk as he faces back towards the rest of the crew. “See guys? It’s not too bad.” As he continues walking, he trips over a rock in plain view, because he was too busy talking to Fatprick. This causes him to be launched into the air, as he wipes himself off. “Hah! That’s what you get for being overly confident,” Fatprick laughs, as SpongeCock gives a dirty look. “Eh, I guess we can settle here for the night. I’m getting tired myself.” “Ah, so NOW you wanna admit it,” Kraps says, high-fiving Fatprick. SpongeCock shoots another dirty look as he scans the terrain. “Yeah, this should be fine. Better than being trapped in the snow,” Shitward approves. Fatprick nods his head in disagreement. “Nope. Have you ever tried jacking off in the snow? It’s like stroking a popsicle.” Everyone shoots a death stare at him as they finish setting up the tents. “Alright, we stay here for a few days, and then we bounce. We can’t risk leaving Bikini Bottom behind. Remember - their lives depend on us.” SpongeCock tries to hype everyone up as he sticks his hand out. “SpongeCockia on 3… 1, 2, - oh everyone’s already asleep,” he says, as the camera zooms out to show that Fatprick, Shitward, and Kraps are all wasted. SpongeCock walks into a tent disappointedly as he lets out a sigh. 
AT FRICKY’S CELL
Fricky wakes up from his nap, to which he seems refreshed from. “Ah. Prison wet dreams are the best. But I still hate it here,” he makes clear, as he gets up. However, his attention gets caught by the window, as he wanders over to see Mrs. Puss and Scotty looking in on him. “What the?!” Fricky opens his window, as both of them keep calling his name. “How did you even know I was here?” “Secret Antifa business, you know how it goes,” she clarifies. “Look, we just heard word of a Juice Wrld and XXXTentacion song from infamous pervert Lil Grizz. You need to know everything, this has shit we can use to expose.” Fricky gets a smile. “Great! But, uh… I’m in jail.” “Duh, that’s why we’re here. Trust me, we’ll get you back on your feet in no time!” “You’re busting me out?” Fricky asks, as Scotty nods his head. 
Fricky formulates his hands together, seeming to have an idea of what the plan is. “Oh boy, this’ll be-” he gets interrupted by Mrs. Puss and Scotty being thrown into his cell, with them both face planted. “AND YOU’RE NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU SERVE COLD HARD TIME!” The guard says, while slamming the door shut. Scotty looks up at Fricky. “They caught us,” he says, as Fricky looks on with a deadpan expression.
				3 HOURS OF WET DREAMS LATER...
The SpongeCockians are all still shown to be sleeping. Shots of all of them are shown, and Fatprick has a noticeably wet spot on his pants. The camera quickly cuts to someone’s watch flashing “4:00 AM.” It pans up to show that the man has an Area 51 guard suit on, as he looks back. “Sir! It is the time of night to ensl- I mean recruit the campers on our mission.” “Well don’t just stand there!” one of the commanders yells, “Kidnap them! See Williams, you’ve gotta be more direct with your wording. Don’t sugarcoat anything here, that’s how you get diabetes.” Williams rolls his eyes as he carries on, as well as the rest of the army. The quartet has all been lifted up and taken in the Area 51 facility, as the episode ends with an outside shot of Area 51 zooming out while the guards share an evil laugh.
==Trivia==
*This episode was supposed to be aired one day before on September 10, but was pushed back a day.
**This means it aired on the 20th anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks. (use this information however you please, also you got your way CrazySponge)
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