Jellyfish (episode)

Jellyfish is the 2nd episode of (pat)Rick Figures.
== Transcript ==
(At a bar, Patrick chugs a bottle of beer while on top of a table. His eyes are pink, as he's drunk. SpongeBob then walks up.)
SpongeBob: ♪Happy birthday, Patrick! From a friend who's not a dick!♪ Aaand you're drunk.
Patrick: (breathes in deeply, then leans forward quickly, breaking a few bottles beside him.) SPONGEBOB!!!!
Blue: How's the, uh, birthday?
Red: (drunk) You're not even... (mumbles)... with the panda hat.
Blue: Oh, yeah? Cool...
Red: Ah ah! (drunk, he goes down the table, stands back up, and embraces Blue.) Heh-hey, Blue.
Blue: What?
Red: Blue!
Blue. What?
Red: BlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlue...
Blue: What?
Red: Listen.
Blue: What?
Red: Listen. Blue listen.
Blue: What?!
Red: Listen.
Blue: WHAT?!
Red: (deep voice)LISTEN! 
(drunk) I love you! I wanna...let's...(mumbles)...let's grow old together in every way!
(deep voice, background blazes.) EVERY WAY! (The background goes back to normal.)
Blue: (trying to leave Red) 'Kay...
(Disco ball drops down next to Red & Red starts to dance.)
Red: Dance party fo Red!
(Red crashes into the glass fragments from the bottles earlier. Red gets up with the fragments stuck on him. Disco ball disappears.)
Red: Yeah! HEY, LAAADIIIIIIIES! (Runs off.)
Blue: Eh, fack!
Red: (sprints up to a woman) Hey, baby, knock knock, who's there, sex, sex who, sex with me, BOOM! (black sunglasses suddenly pop out in front of his eyes & he strikes a pose.)
Woman: Aw, that's so romantic! Call me--
Red: Whatever! (Walks away.)
Blue: Oh, my God, dude, what happened?
Red: I know, right! What a piyaaaammp!
(Clip quickly rewinds to when Red spoke to the woman.)
Red: (drunk) Hey, blehblehboobleblebloohehe! Ahahahahahahahah!! ...Knock knock.
(The woman angrily breaks her beer bottle on the countertop. Red ends up having a broken bottle on his head.)
Blue: Wow, dude, you're really drunk. (Removes the broken bottle on Red's head. Blood's visible on the tips.) I gotta get you home.
Red: (drunk) YEAH, RIGHT! I'm fine! I ain't never puked from throwin' up!
Blue: You mean drinking?
Red: (breathes in) (low voice): Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! (Walks off.)
Blue: Red! (groans)
Woman: (groans) Men are such pigs.
Raccoon: I can go all night-a, baby. I'm-a nocturnal. (Growls seductively.)
(Time lapse. Red talks to his reflection in a mirror.)
Red: (drunk) You don't know meh!
(Time lapse. Red talks to himself. The bartender observes him.)
Red: (drunk) Is this real life? Now?
(Time lapse. Red's lying on the floor.)
Red: (drunk) My eyes are puzzle pieces!
(Time lapse. Red seems to be talking to someone.)
Red: (drunk) Let's grow old together in every way! ...Except for the gay way!
(Camera zooms out, showing that Red is talking to a toilet. He dunks his head in the bowl & flushes.)
Blue: It's time to go, dude. You're making out with that toilet pretty hard.
(Red pulls out his head from the toilet.)
Red: Your mom's making out with that post! YEAH! H-hey...you leave her outta this!
Red: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh... (his stomach becomes wavy)
Blue: No! Nooooooooooo!!
(Video slows down, deepening everybody's voice.)
Red: Urrruuuuugh!
Blue: Noooooooooooooo!
Red: IT'S MY TIME!
Blue: Are you kidding me?!
Red: YEeEE-(Video speed's back to normal. Red begins to vomits on Blue.)
Blue: NOOOO- oooohhhhh...... THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE WHEN YOU PUKE?!
Red: I DON'T KNOW! (Continues to vomit on Blue. Eventually, Blue lies down.) You don't know where I've been-
(Red vomits on Blue once more.)
Blue: I hate you! (Red laughs.) I hate you sooo mu--!
== Soundtrack ==
TBA
== Time cards ==
* Patrick's Imagination (In Patrick's imagination, he swoons the girl.)
* Reality (But in reality...)
* Montage
Category:Episodes Category:Transcripts Category:Episode transcripts Category:2018
Category:2010s