A Nickle If Your Dick's This Big

A Nickle If Your Dick's This Big is a compilation album by The Residents, released on November 8th 2019 on Cherry Red/MVD as part of the group's ongoing pREServed reissue campaign.
The compilation features the group's recordings from 1971 and 1972, prior to their official inception as The Residents, including the previously released The W***** B*** Album and B.S. demo tapes, as well as unheard live recordings from the era.
== History ==
A Nickle If Your Dick's This Big includes newly remastered and pREServed studio and live recordings from 1971 and 1972, predating the release of the Santa Dog EP in December 1972, and the official foundation of The Residents in February 1973. Almost all of the material featured on the compilation had never before been issued on CD.
The set features the group's 1971 demo tapes The W***** B*** Album and B.S., previously released as limited Record Store Day vinyl-only pressings in 2018 and 2019 respectively. It also includes three live recordings from the era, including The Boarding House performance, and the never before heard Philip's Wedding (October 1971) and Chris' Party (October 1972) recordings.
A Nickle If Your Dick's This Big does not feature material recorded prior to 1971, such as "I Hear Ya Got Religion", "Moonman", The Ballad of Stuffed Trigger, or Rusty Coathangers for the Doctor, and does not include the alternate takes of "Maggie's Farm" and "Sweet Meat" first heard on the 2012 compilation ERA B474. It also does not include the unreleased 1988 "orchestral" remix of "Cantaten To Der Dyin Prunen", or any tracks from the 2003 remix album WB:RMX.
The album is named after a silkscreen print made by the group in the early 1970s, after a road trip where a member of the group saw the phrase written above a large hole in a public toilet stall in Texas. Postcards of the original print (which appears to bear the signature of N. Senada) were included with early copies of the compilation purchased through the Cherry Red Records website.
== Track listing ==
=== Disc One - The W***** B*** Album ===
(*) indicates tracks which are previously unreleased.
# The W***** B*** Album Suite 1 (8:17)
## Strawberry Fields Forever (Lennon/McCartney)
## Mad Sawmill of Copenhagen, Germany Pt. 1
## Baby Skeletons and Dogs
## Bop Bop Shu Bop
## Stuffed Genital
## Christmas Morning Foto
## Every Day I Masturbate on a Merican Fag
## Oh Mummy, Oh Daddy, Can't You See That It's True
## Baby Skeletons and Dogs #2
# The W***** B*** Album Suite 2 (10:41)
## Mad Sawmill of Copenhagen, Germany Pt. 2
## Going to Arcata Blues
## Mad Sawmill of Copenhagen, Germany Pt. 3
## Black Velvet Original
## Mad Sawmill of Copenhagen, Germany Pt. 4
## Jimi Hendrix Dildo
## Mad Sawmill of Copenhagen, Germany Pt. 5
## In the Still of the Night
## Maggie's Farm (Dylan)
## Mad Sawmill of Copenhagen, Germany Pt. 6
## Snot and Feces Live at the Grunt Festival
## Sweet Meat
# The W***** B*** Album Suite 3 (9:36)
## Oh Yeah Uhh Bop Shu Bop
## Om Is Where The Art Is
## Concerto in R Flat Minor
## Gagagapiggaeoupe
## Sold American
## Love Theme From a Major Motion Picture
## Prelude for Accordion, Sousaphone and French Horn
## Oh God You're a Pie in the Sky
## Short Circuit Comes to Town
## Marching Toward A E I O U Blues
# The W***** B*** Album Suite 4 (10:51)
## In the Still of the Night Again / Rumba
## Fourth Crucifixion in Five Years
## Oh Mummy, Oh Daddy, Can't You See That It's True Again
## Art the White Elephant
## Psychedelic and Orgasmic Finale
# The Boarding House Show (13:08)
# Philip's Wedding Concentrate (*) (7:44)
=== Disc Two - B.S. ===
# We Stole This Riff (Buckley) (1:50)
# Holelottadick (Bonham/Dixon/Jones/Page/Plant) (2:20)
# B.S.(1:04)
# Deepsea Diver Song (4:05)
# King Kong (Zappa) (3:20)
# Cantaten to Der Dyin Prunen (5:51)
# Intro Tape/Somethin' Devilish (2:45)
# N. Senada Tribute (1:51)
# The Fourth Crucifixion (3:19)
# James Dean's Death (0:22)
# Hallowed Be Thy Wean (incorporating Pink Lemonade, Sandman, Eat Me Mother, a selection of untitled instrumentals, Bumble Bee, Eloise, Snakefinger's Wedding, Kamikaze Lady, Miss Peggy Honeydew and D Is for Doorknob, a number of announcements, The Three Most Important Things in the Whole Wide World and more) (14:25)
# Chris' Party (*) (13:25)
# Intro Tape '71 (unlisted) (3:10)
== Liner notes ==
Before there was this thing we call The Residents there was... something else. Something undefined and meandering. A sprawling mass of interesting and interested people centred around a group of guys from Louisiana, none of whom really had any idea what they were doing or who they were.
Among the many projects this collective undertook during the early 1970s was the recording and performance of music. Against all expectations, some of it wasn't too bad, and over time this material acquired a mythology and a status all of its own, and one which The Residents themselves remain uncertain it warrants. However, as the group's fame grew so too did public demand for this early stuff, and some forty-plus years after they were recorded two of those pre-Residential demo tapes finally surfaced via two exclusive vinyl-only releases.
But demand continued to grow, materialism being what it is. And so, despite their ongoing uncertainty regarding the validity of the material, the group have been persuaded to compile it together here for the first time. Namely those two demo tapes - now known as 'The W***** B*** Album' and 'B.S.' for obvious reasons - and a selection of live performance recordings made before it all got so... serious.
The Residents hope you'll enjoy this stuff, and take it in the spirit and context in which it was made. Or choose to cast it aside and reject it as official Residents canon. Whatever. Either way you already bought it, and that's a done deal.
New Ralph Too
Legend has it that The Residents, having migrated from Louisiana, arrived in Northern California in the late '60s en masse, and while the story is generally true, the reality is not so neat and tidy.
The group had indeed resettled in the San Francisco Bay Area by 1970, but there were still occasional returns to The South as they moved equipment, a huge music collection and personal items to their new home. On one such occasion, three of the then unnamed band ventured through the vast wasteland known as West Texas. As anyone who has attempted to cross this empty expanse of ugly nothing knows, West Texas lasts forever. Taking a break from the heat, boredom and tedium, they stopped at a small gas station outside of Pecos for a bathroom break, and as each returned to the car his companions were shocked by the intensity of his hysterical laughter. Finally, monumentally curious, the third member of the group cautiously entered the men's room, flipped on the light and looked around. Not initially noticing anything, he stepped up to the toilet, pulled out his member and looked up. Immediately above the filthy crapper was a hole in the wall the size of an elephant's foot, and written next to it was the expression, "A nickel if your dick's this big."
It was the perfect antidote for the mindless monotony of West Texas, and, unable to forget this unexpected interruption to the final phase of their southern exodus, The Residents memorialized the sentiment in a silkscreen print several months later.
The Cryptic Corporation
== Personnel ==
* Recorded, Performed, Produced & Compiled by Residents Uninc, Spring 1971 - February 12th 1972
* All Songs By The Residents
* Published By: Pale Pachyderm Publishing
** Except For 
*** Strawberry Feilds Forever: Lennon/McCartney
*** Maggie's Farm: Dylan
*** King Kong: Zappa
* Produced By: The Residents
* Assisted by RA.
* Master Tape Transfers, Audio Restoration & Mastering for disc by Scott Colburn
* Original Artworks supplied by The Cryptic Corporation & Pornograph Ix.
* Design & Layout by Paul Bevoir
* Cover art & Archive Imagery Supplied by The Cryptic Corporation & Andreas Mathews at The Eyeball Museum
* Stills Taken From The Boarding House Show - The Movie
== See also ==
* The Delta Nudes
* N. Senada
* The W***** B*** Album
* B.S.
* pREServed
* The Delta Nudes' Greatest Hiss
* ERA B474
* WB:RMX
== External links and references ==
* A Nickle If Your Dick's This Big at Cherry Red Records
Category:The Delta Nudes
Category:Compilations
Category:The W***** B*** Album
Category:B.S.
Category:PREServed
Category:A Nickle If Your Dick's This Big
Category:Albums Produced By Residents, Uninc.