Ash Hole

Commander swindles Allon into buying Space Tree Action Figures and Space Tree comes back from the dead. Meanwhile, the gang lands on an unusual planet.
== Transcript ==
{Open to Commander leaning in through a doorway}
COMMANDER: Oh my God, Allon! Space Tree is alive!
ALLON: {wearing an odd ensemble} You mean he's-
COMMANDER: That's right my green hermano, he has returned... in action figure form. {Holds up a Space Tree Action Figure}
{Cut to a commercial with a flashing background and music. The Space Tree Action Figure is displayed along with its ingredients: tree ashes, green liquid, wires and stuff, love, and annoying flashing backgrounds.}
ANNOUNCER: The Space Tree Action Figure is constructed of almost entirely non-toxic and supposedly edible items and features up to five hilarious pre-recorded catchphrases.
{Cut to a frame with two consumers playing with the figure. A warning displays "Trained Professionals. Do Not Attempt Without Government Supervision." A hand from offscreen presses the figure, causing it to talk.}
FIGURE: Shiver me timbers! Someone stole my meatballs!
{Cut to a Space Tree Action Figure and pen on a desk. While the announcer speaks, pop-ups display the following: Space Tree The Action Figure, Free pen with every purchase!, Probably doesn't need batteries!, Knows up to 5 swears, Don't touch it without gloves on, it will burn your friggin' hand. Seriously., Try the rice!.
ANNOUNCER: Ages not included are 45 batteries non-toxic on fire bags cancelled.
{The pop-ups fall off the screen}
FIGURE: Momma mia, buy a shirt!
{Cut back to Commander in the doorway}
COMMANDER: So how many can I put you down for? {Clicks a Space Tree Action Figure Pen}
ALLON: {in normal clothes} Zero.
COMMANDER: So how many can I put you down for? {Clicks pen again}
ALLON: Zero.
COMMANDER: So how many can I put you down for? {Clicks pen again}
ALLON: {angry} Zero.
COMMANDER: {with shaven haircut} So how many can I put you down for? {Clicks pen again}
ALLON: {angrier} ZERO!
COMMANDER: {normal} So how many can I put you do-
ALLON: {yelling} Zero!
COMMANDER: So how many can I put you down for? {Clicks pen again}
ALLON: {sigh} Two.
COMMANDER: So how many can I put you down for? {Clicks pen again}
ALLON: I mean three!
{Commander shoots the STAPE gun and a sign rolls out saying "three it is"}
COMMANDER: Three it is! You'll receive them in four to forty-five weeks. Have a good day, consumer! {Disappears through the doorway}
{The Commander's hand appears in the doorway and drops the pen}
COMMANDER: Here's a free pen.
{Time has passed. Commander is standing in front of a chalkboard showing his sales.}
COMMANDER: So that's three for Allon, two for myself, that's a total of five. We really need more people on this ship.
{Space Tree enters from the right}
SPACE TREE: Well, I'll take one of those.
COMMANDER: The hell are you doin' here?
SPACE TREE: Geez, what kind of welcome is that? I just came back from the dead, son.
COMMANDER: {paranoid} Oh, really? Back from the dead, you say? Well, take this! Hah!
{Commander presses a button on the chalkboard and a cage falls on him}
SPACE TREE: Oh, was that supposed to land on me?
COMMANDER: Well, yeah, but it has the same effect anyway. I'm protecting myself from you Mr. Vampire-zombie-ghost.
SPACE TREE: Yeah, alright. Take it easy, I'm not any of those. {presses the button, the cage is lifted off Commander} I've just been brought back to life.
COMMANDER: Brought back to life, huh? As a werewolf! Prepare to be staked through the heart! Hah! {He lunges at Space Tree, stabbing him with a pen. It has no effect.} Huh. I guess it really is you, then. Good thing, too, 'cause I would of kicked your werewolf ass.
SPACE TREE: I think I might be a ghost, actually.
{Commander utters a high-pitched scream. Cut to Space Tree dancing on his own grave. Music plays.}
RAPPER: Back from the dead to kick you in the bread. Space Tree!
{Cut to Space Tree standing in front of Commander and Allon}
SPACE TREE: OK, now here's what really happened. {While talking, Space Tree is seen through his flashback in The Land of the Ghosts. Space Tree walks up to the sign that mentions NO TREES ALLOWED (especially space trees).} So I'm up in the cloud place and they're like "no trees allowed in here", so I find this fake moustache {Space Tree dons a moustache, sunglasses, and a sign that says "I'm not a tree!"} and then I sneak in fine, {Space Tree is on a ghost phone} but a couple days later some friggen' ghost bird {a "ghost bird" swoops down and steals Space Tree's costume} swoops down and rips it right off my face {a ghost accusingly points at Space Tree} so my cover's blown {flashback over} and I get kicked down to this fricken' place and you know the worst thing is they had cable TV up there, so I have to get used to our crappy selection of channels. That's going to take some time.
COMMANDER: {wearing a spacesuit} Wow! I never knew it was so easy to come back to life.
SPACE TREE: Well, it is! If you're a tree, which I am. {Space Tree picks up a Space Tree Action Figure} Now what the hell is this?
COMMANDER: {normal} That's the Space Tree Action Figure, constructed mostly out of your dead ashes.
ALLON: Yeah, and check this out man. {he triggers the figure}
FIGURE: My name is Space Tree and I like to water ski! Do do do doo.
SPACE TREE: What? No I don't. That's so out of character for me. We don't need this anymore. {throws figure out a window. There is land outside.}
COMMANDER: {he's now wearing a T-Shirt reading "Dude"} Dude! Dude, that's not cool, dude.
SPACE TREE: Uh, why are we on land?
COMMANDER: {normal} Nyeah, the ship crashed here so now we're stuck on this deserted island.
ALLON: Well, we assume it's deserted.
SPACE TREE: What do you mean?
ALLON: Well, we didn't actually look outside.
COMMANDER: Yeah, it's cold out there.
SPACE TREE: Well, we have to go out there now. That action figure has my DNA all over it and I don't want anyone cloning me again.
{Cut to outside Space Tree's Ship. The trio walks outside}
COMMANDER: You know by destroying that action figure, you're just destroying profit.
{A gunshot is fired, hitting Commander}
SPACE TREE: What the hell?
{Professor Clerman and a Clerman Clone with a bucket on his head are shown}
CLERMAN: Hold it right there or we'll open fire!
SPACE TREE: You already did!
CLERMAN: Well, shut up, or we'll do it again.
{Two more shots are fired, hitting Allon and Space Tree}
CLERMAN: Dude! What are you doing?
BUCKETHEAD: Didn't you just say "shut up, and we'll do it again"?
CLERMAN: No, I said "or"! Shut up or we'll do it again and clearly they shut up so-
BUCKETHEAD: Well, it sounded like you said "and" an-
CLERMAN: The two words don't even sound similar at all.
BUCKETHEAD: Well, I don't really speak English too well, so what the hell do I know?
CLERMAN: Alright, fair enough. Now let's go take that guy's pen.
{End credits}
== Easter Eggs ==
* At the end click on the hidden ST to see the Space Tree action figure. Click the ST on the action figure to hear it say stuff.(It says 8 things, contrary to the earlier announcer.)
** 1. Shiver me timbers, someone stole my meatball!
** 2. Mamma mia, buy a shirt!
** 3. My name is Space Tree, and I like to water-ski! Do de doo doo!
** 4. Space Tree is coming down the stairs!
** 5. I already put the lime in the coconut!
** 6. That'll be 7 dollars 50.
** 7. Slow and low, that is the tempo.
** 8. I thought I told you to get that rubber glove out of my kitchen sink.
== Fun Facts ==
* Werewolves are killed with silver bullets, while vampires are killed by a stake through the heart (obviously).
* This is the first episode where the opening credits never roll.
* First appearance of Professor Clerman.
* The clothes Allon is wearing when we first see him is the exact same jumpsuit Coach McGuirk constantly has on in the Adult Swim series Home Movies, complete with his trademark whistle!
* The ingredients for Space Tree Action figure are as follows:
** tree ashes
** green liquid
** supposedly edible light
** wires and stuff
** love
** annoying flashing backgrounds
* First instance of Water skiing.
* Right after the ingredients you can read: "Trained Professionals. Do not attempt without government supervision." on a background of two kids playing with the action figure.
* At the end of the ads many things are written, here the list in chronological order:
** SPACE TREE the action Figure
** Free pen with every purchase!
** Probably Doesn't Need Batteries!
** Knows up to 5 swears
** Don't touch it without gloves on, it will burn your frigging hand. Seriously.
** Try the Rice!
*One of the characters in the action figure commercial can be seen wearing a Space Tree t-shirt. This is the same design used on the official Space Tree t-shirt that was sold Keenspot's webstore.
== References ==
* The action figure quote "Space Tree is coming down the stairs!" is a line Allon said while doing his Space Tree impression in Cyber Space.
* The action figure quote "I already put the lime in the coconut" comes fr__NOTOC__om Harry Nilsson's song "Coconut" (whose lyrics include the infectious refrain, "You put the lime in the coconut, you drank 'em bot' up...").
* The action figure quote "Slow and low, that is the tempo." is a reference to the Beastie Boys song "Slow and Low".
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