Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie/Quotes

:Marge: Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
:Lisa: What are we gonna have?
:Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
:Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
:Bart: Poison pizza.
:Homer: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!
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:Mrs. Krabappel: Bart has been guilty of the following atrocities: synthesizing a laxative from peas and carrots, replacing my birth control with Tic Tacs...
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:Ms. Hoover: You must have read to her at a young age.
:Homer: I did! I did read to her! (flashback to Homer reading to baby Lisa) 8:00, Happy Days. The Fonz, Henry Winkler, is worried he's losing his cool.
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:Homer: Well, I've always been a firm believer in the three R's: Reading TV Guide, um...Writing to TV Guide, um...and Renewing TV Guide.
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:Homer: "My child is on the honor roll at Springfield Elementary." You know, I thought I'd never find a replacement for my "Where's the Beef?" bumper sticker.
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:Bart: Boy, time really flies when you're reading... [sees what he's holding] the Bible!? Ewww....
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:Ms. Krabappel: I believe that with persistent discipline, even the poorest student can end up becoming, oh, say, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
:Homer: Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. What great men he would join: John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger... Mmmmmmm... Berger...
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:Homer: If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put you in a home.
:Grampa: You already put me in a home.
:Homer: Then we'll put you in the crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes!
:Grampa: [meekly] I'll be good.
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:Homer: (to Bart) Young man, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, then he gets to break yours.
:Grampa: Aw, this is gonna be sweet.
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:Homer: Boy, you're gonna have to be punished for this.
:Bart: Dad, you could punish me, but that means you have to think of a punishment, sit here and make sure I do it...
:Homer: [whining] Aw...
:Bart: Or... you could let me go play with Milhouse, while you spend the afternoon watching unpredictable Mexican sitcoms.
:[turns on the TV and "Bumble-Bee Man" is on]
:Homer: Hee hee hee. Run along, you little scamp.
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:Homer [to Bart]: I said I'm gonna punish you and come hell or high water I.. wait a minute. [hears ice cream truck] Ice cream truck! Me, me, I was here first!
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:Homer: Someday you'll thank me for this, son.
:Bart: Not bloody likely.
:Homer: No it's true, You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
:Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
:Homer: I like stories.
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:Homer: You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV.
:Bart: TV Sucks.
:Homer: I know you're upset right now so I'll pretend you didn't say that!
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:Marge: Do you want your son to grow up to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or a sleazy male stripper?
:Homer: Can't he be both like the late Earl Warren?
:Marge: Earl Warren wasn't a stripper!
:Homer: Now who's being naive?
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:Kent Brockman: Tonight on "Eye on Springfield", we meet a man who's been hiccuping for 45 years!
:Man: [hic!] Kill me! [hic!] Kill me!
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:Kent Brockman: Let's take a look back at the year 1928. A year when you might have seen Al Capone dancing the Charleston on top of a flagpole. It was also the year of the very virst Scratchy cartoon entitled "That Happy Cat." The film did very poorly, but the following year, Scratchy was teamed up with a psychotic young mouse named Itchy and cartoon history was made.
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:Homer: Bart, didn't I ask you to watch Maggie?
:Bart: Sounds like something you'd say.
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:Snake [running off with a VCR]: Oh, no! Beta!
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:Chief Wiggum: Aw, isn't that cute, a baby driving a car. (short pause) And look, there's a dog driving a bus!
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:(after Maggie crashes Homer's sedan into prison, causing criminals to escape)
:Snake Jailbird: Alright! Time for a crime spree!
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:Lisa: (about Bart) He has the demented melancholy of a Tennessee Williams heroine!
:Homer: Don't you think I know that?
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:Homer: Are you kidding? Lisa turned out perfect! I won't sit here and listen to you badmouthing Lisa!
:Marge: We're talking about Bart.
:Homer: Oh. That guy.
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:Milhouse: I've seen the Itchy and Scratchy Movie 13 times.
:Nelson: I've seen it 17 times!
:Bart: You must be getting pretty tired of that movie by now, huh?
:Milhouse: No one who saw the movie'd say that!
:Nelson: Let's get him!
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:Homer: Dad, you and your stories. "Bart broke my teeth", "The nurses are stealing my money", "This thing on my neck is getting bigger."
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:Bart: (in the future, seeing the "Itchy & Scratchy" movie with an elderly Homer) One senior citizen and one Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
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:Homer: Mmm... Soylent Green.
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:Homer: Which one's the mouse?
:Bart: Itchy.
:Homer: Itchy's a jerk.
:Bart: Yeah.
es:Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie/Frases