Episode 6/Transcription

Ursula: Hello yet again, out there in Internet land!
Kevin: Um, before we get too much further please remember that this podcast is recorded in front of a live studio beagle.
Ursula: Yes.
Kevin: Yes.
Ursula: Occasionally live studio... other fauna.
Kevin: We have -- yeah, beagle, border collie, we have a whole crew with us this fine day.
Ursula: Hopefully they won't interject too much.
Kevin: Yeah. Welcome to Kevin and Ursula Eat Cheap, once again. We must be crazy for subjecting our stomachs but we eat it so you don't have to. Look at me, I'm -- all the old professional tricks, slip in the buzzwords, slip in the -- make sure you get the announ-- yeah, okay.
Ursula: Kevin used to be a country western DJ, but despite this he has many sterling qualities, and actually surprisingly good taste in music.
Kevin: Well, there you go. Um, this week, this week we are looking at -- we're gonna take our chances on another Archer Farms creation --
Ursula: La-- if you recall, last week we panned the Archer Farms Sesame Teriyaki Bowl as the worst thing we had eaten on Kevin and Ursula Eat Cheap, so this week we're gonna give 'em a second chance, and if they fail this time there will be no further appeal. Uh, this is the Archer Farms Cajun Style Rice and Beans Lunch Bowl.
Kevin: It includes rice pilaf, beans, and "sauce mix". I am afraid of this, I really am.
Ursula: You should be. I'm sure it's terrible.
Kevin: Yeah, um... what else we got coming up, we've got, um, Tangy Sweet'n'Sour Rice Noodles and Sauce from Thai Kitchen --
Ursula: This one's cool, unlike the other -- some of the other things we have reviewed this one comes in a little like Chinese takeout container-lookin' thing that is then wrapped in plastic so it's to give you the authentic feel of eating Chinese leftovers.
Kevin: Yes.
Ursula: Without having to eat the meal in the first place, I guess.
Kevin: We also have some Trader Joe's Potato Pancakes -- 
Ursula: Traditional Latkes, from the frozen food aisle at Trader Joe's. That is our advanced level, because you have to fry those.
Kevin: Well, yeah, something like that. So, um...
Ursula: Without further ado, I'm going to embark on the Archer Farms Cajun Style Rice and Beans. I believe this cost a dollar ninety-nine, I believe it will prove to have been expensive at the price.
Kevin: Yeah, and the danger voice is in use, because after last week it's probably dangerous to eat the darn thing. While she's starting in on that -- you finding anything interesting in the packaging, or is it the usual "add water"?
Ursula: Umm... it's, uh, it's a bag, of rice and what are presumably beans?
Kevin: Those look like they were once beans, yes.
Ursula: Yes. They are kind of desiccated and sad, and --
Kevin: Yeah.
Ursula: -- if there were insects in there I would not be able to tell.
Kevin: Well, that's rice and beans. Were there any special flavoring packets?
Ursula: There is a seasoning packet. 
Kevin: Uh-huh?
Ursula: And that's the sum --
Kevin: That's, that's the sum total. Alrighty then.
Ursula: Filling with bowl up to water line.
Kevin: Okay... We're not worried about this one exploding?
Ursula: Uhhh... I like to think that explosion is always a possibility when you're using the microwave.
Kevin: Fair enough, fair enough. I'm more worried about this one actually damaging our innards.
Ursula: I don't intend to eat enough of it to tell.
Kevin: Okay. While she's doing that let me give you a quick rundown on the potato pancakes from Trader Joe's; they were, first off, absolutely delicious, and I don't know if I'd call them that advanced. They were dead simple. 
Ursula: You had to use a frying pan instead of a microwave and hot oil was involved.
Kevin: True, true. You could do them in a preheated oven; either way it was very very easy -- heat up your skillet with a little oil, put in the frozen potato pancakes, flip them after -- it said four to six minutes but I went with the, until it looks right golden brown hot all the way through, kinda thing -- then serve. And they were really tasty, hint of onion, good consistency, definitely --
Ursula: Fantastic with sour cream.
Kevin: Fantastic with sour cream. Looks like they are not vegetarian or vegan because they do contain egg whites and egg. Um, they do contain matzoh, they do contain canola oil, and both regular potatoes and dehydrated potatoes, so they may even be kosher, but it doesn't seem to say. I mean, they're latkes, they should be kosher.
Ursula: It would be an act of striking cruelty to make a non-kosher latke.
Kevin: Yeah, well, it doesn't say certified kosher so that means you have to be careful with it. Otherwise, absolutely delicious, dead simple.
Ursula: Yes, would eat again. The only downside is that the pack, which I think mighta cost, uh, two bucks, maybe three --
Kevin: Yeah.
Ursula: Uh, breakfast for two if you had some side dishes, it was merely a small adjunct with four people.
Kevin: Ah, this is true. 
Ursula: I mean, it's a good addition to brunch rather than hash browns, but it's not the whole brunch, you need to get like two packets or something.
Kevin: Yeah. A single person could eat half the package and save the other half for later and have no remorse on that.
Ursula: Yeah, I'd say so. I will also point out that if you were planning on eating the Archer Farms at work it does take seven to seven and a half minutes in the microwave on high, so take a long lunch break.
Kevin: You would be -- yeah, and be aware that you'll be bogarting the microwave for seven minutes or so, which always -- I don't know about all of you out there, but if I'm in the office and I go to the microwave and I'm hittin' it and I have to wait like ten minutes for someone to cook their one thing, it usually drives me a little crazy. Especially then you have to kind of camp 'cause there'll be five people waiting for their turn at the microwave by the time it's done, and it gets a -- it can get a little hairy in some workplaces.
Ursula: On the other hand if you work at home, bogart the microwave as long as you want.
Kevin: Yeah, that's fair, that's fair.
Ursula: While we're on the topic of intermediate-level stuff, we should point out that we made Vigo yellow rice last week --
Kevin: Oh, that's right, we did!
Ursula: -- in the rice cooker, which was provided by Monoceros Media, our sponsor; go to Monoceros Media for all your cool art printing needs as well as a lot of other weird crap that they can tell you they do, that, like -- you know, laser engraving and etching and stuff, I can't recite their entire catalog, possibly they can.
Kevin: Yeah, one of the coolest things they actually did was a very detailed Mayan calendar not much bigger than my palm, and at the very center was Ursula's red wombat.
Ursula: It was pretty snazzy.
Kevin: Yeah, it's pretty snazzy and it's surprising what they can do with --
Ursula: There's a lot of laser-cut badges, it's nifty stuff.
Kevin: Oh yeah, very cool stuff.
Ursula: And the print quality on their standard printing is very good, and I say this as a print snob who has been known to hunch over the printer poring over little tiny lines going "I can't possibly sell this, there is a tiny line here".
Kevin: Oh, it's ridiculous, it's absolutely ridiculous sometimes. But! For her customers, for our listeners, only the best quality possible. Which is why you should talk to Monoceros Media, because they are incredibly, uh... *pause* ...attentive to detail, as I stumble over my tongue and my words.
Ursula: And they sent us a rice cooker.
Kevin: And they sent us a rice cooker, which doesn't hurt.
Ursula: All right, moving right along. The Vigo Yellow Rice. We, uh, I believe it's two ninety-nine for a bag of it --
Kevin: Oh, yeah.
Ursula: We popped that in the rice cooker and that made more rice than four people could eat with their huevos rancheros. 
Kevin: Yeah --
Ursula: And it was delicious rice. 
Kevin: It was, it was very good rice, it cooked very easy, hopefully --
*clonking noises*
Kevin: Okay, hold on, we have to wait for Benjamin to finish rubbing on the microphone.
*an unnoticeable pause in recording*
Kevin: All right, we've just had a cat break, I'm very sorry, but it'll cut the monotony of the cook time on this --
Ursula: Ben decided he needed to be fed. Ben is really large.
Kevin: And when Ben decides he needs to be fed, there's really not much you can do except feed all the cats, because... it's Ben. He's in charge of the house, we realize this now.
Ursula: I love him, but he's kind of a jerk. *chuckles*
Kevin: Thaaat's the mildest term we typically use when we refer to Ben.
Ursula: Yes. He's -- he's not a good cat but he is a Cat. With a capital C.
Kevin: Yes he is, yes. Um -- Vigo rice.
Ursula: Vigo rice, yes, the yellow Vigo rice -- delicious, moist, tasty, great under Mexican cuisine of any kind, flavorful, I highly recommend it. One of the big bags will feed four with leftovers.
Kevin: With -- yes, yes it will. 
Ursula: It was a mighty, mighty... amount of rice.
Kevin: It was, and it was really good. The nice thing about, um --
Ursula: Tell them how you make the huevos.
Kevin: How I make the huevos -- it's really a cheesy cheap huevo ranchero recipe. Not even sure it qualifies as true huevo rancheros, but it works. And this is dead simple, you can do this on a... heating... element of some sort, what are the...
Ursula: Hot plate?
Kevin: Hot plate, thank you. So what you need is a hot plate and a skillet, reasonably large skillet -- you throw in one can of black beans that have been rinsed, and I cannot emphasize rinsing them enough because that'll get rid of like the goopy stuff that they've been floating in. One medium jar of salsa, the Newman's Own is the perfect size, and we usually go with a mild or a medium, you can do it as hot as you want, just stir that -- those two together, bring it to a boil, crack as many eggs as you want or can fit in the pan, I usually go between five and six, just right into the salsa and black bean mix, and then cover and let the eggs sorta poach in the salsa. Sprinkle cheese on top, let that melt, and it's done. 
Ursula: Quite a lot of cheese, if you get one of the pre-grated packs that you can get on sale for like one-ninety-seven or whatever at most stores, they're like -- it's basically grated government cheese, but, y'know.
Kevin: Well, yeah, depending on which brand you get, but it's cheap, it's tasty --
Ursula: If you've got all that salsa there's not any point wasting good cheese on it.
Kevin: ...this is a fair assessment. And you can just scoop it right out on a tortilla, onto rice -- just get the spoon under the egg, done. Nothin' to it. It's probably nowhere near real huevos rancheros, but it's... passable. And sitting in front of me now is this bowl of rice, it kinda looks scary? It looks like it boiled over through the vent holes in the top.
Ursula: It may have done so.
Kevin: Yes, it appears to have done so, specifically.
Ursula: This is yet another one that said "Sauce will continue to thicken while standing".
Kevin: Well! 
Ursula: I gotta say, compared to last -- you know, week, it doesn't look so bad.
Kevin: No, it looks --
Ursula: It looks like a little thing of rice with a little... crap on top.
Kevin: All right, let's stir, stir -- there's not much sauce left in it, I mean, it's all sort of...
Ursula: Whatever there is will thicken on standing. I have also noticed right now that there is a sign underneath that says "100% Satisfaction Guaranteed", with the tagline "And they said you can't guarantee happiness".
Kevin: Wow.
Ursula: Because of this, I should have saved the packaging from last week, because my satisfaction was sooo not guaranteed. That was -- that was crap, is what that was.
Kevin: Well, for the price, it was expensive. This is not that bad. Looking -- I haven't tasted it yet.
Ursula: Um --
Kevin: Which one of us gets a spoon and which one of us gets the fork?
Ursula: I wasn't sure which to do. You take the spoon.
Kevin: I'll take the spoon? Okay.
Ursula: While the kidney beans are not as large and glossy as they are on the packaging, this actually doesn't look too horribly dissimilar from the package mix, I will say.
Kevin: Not at all. The rice is definitely chewy, crunchy almost. Underdone. Well, whaddya expect.
Ursula: It's no Vigo rice and beans, I'll say that.
Kevin: Yeah, it's no Vigo rice and beans, that's for sure.
Ursula: This isn't as bad as last week's.
Kevin: Noo, not at all.
Ursula: I'd, I'd -- 
Kevin: What other flavors -- Cajun Style, it says, so there's some sort of spice in here.
Ursula: It's really bland, though, despite the attempt at Cajun spice --
Kevin: -- yeah --
Ursula: -- okay, maybe there's a little tingling on my palate, but it's...
Kevin: Well...
Ursula: It's... cheap-ass rice and beans.
Kevin: It is. "Cayenne vinegar powder. Dried thyme. Natural flavor, includes smoke. Ground cayenne pepper, ground bayleaf, white pepper."
Ursula: When they say "includes smoke", I always assume they're talking about Liquid Smoke, that stuff you can get --
Kevin: Uh-huh.
Ursula: -- and there's no way in hell that's a natural flavor. 
Kevin: Umm--
Ursula: They mine that crap outta the ground, or like harvest it from cow sweat after they've given the cows drugs.
Kevin: Well...
Ursula: My view of the food industry may be a little skewed, I imagine.
Kevin: Maybe a little, maybe a little.
Ursula: All right, I am going for the Thai Kitchen Chinese sweet'n'sour. I gotta say, I wouldn't buy this -- if you're starving to death and it's a choice between -- or if, if someone is holding you at gunpoint and you have to eat this or the sesame noodles, get this. The Cajun style rice'n'beans is much better, but... they're... just...
Kevin: Yeah.
Ursula: I mean...
Kevin: Everything feels underdone. It's all... crunchy, I mean, they cooked the rice and then they --
Ursula: The beans were done.
Kevin: -- dehydrated it -- well, the beans are beans. There's only so much you can do with beans.
Ursula: Okay. I have a packet of noodles, a packet of spices, a packet of sauce, and --
Kevin: Ooh, they included a fork!
Ursula: A plastic fork. Yes.
Kevin: Hm. Wow.
Ursula: "Remove all contents. Open packets. Empty... all of them into the box." *rustling noises* All right.
Kevin: Does that include the water yet?
Ursula: Uh, not the peanuts. Um, yes, we will need to empty the water in.
Kevin: All right.
Ursula: You will require some object with which to open the packaging, it is not easy open.
Kevin: Nnno.
Ursula: I just used a fork, I wouldn't use the plastic fork, that would be kind of recursive.
Kevin: Okay.
Ursula: All right, there are --
Kevin: Now, I'm asking because I see the water fill line is on the outside and -- do you have to fill to that line with the stuff in it?
Ursula: *rustling noises* Yes, it says, um... "Add one cup of water to cover noodles, see water fill line on side of box", but the water fill line's down there and the noodles are...
Kevin: Uh-huh.
Ursula: ...what?
Kevin: This is very odd.
Ursula: Okay, there's no way one cup of water filled to the water fill line will cover the noodles. The noodles come up like three quarters of the way through the box. I am confused.
Kevin: Fascinating. 
Ursula: All right, I am emptying... *rustles*
Kevin: Um -- can you not do that towards my face, please?
Ursula: What?
Kevin: I'm just saying, you know, trying to -- dangling a plastic bag and trying to puncture it with a fork towards my face makes me a little nervous.
Ursula: *moves the bag* Didn't you ever read that, Poul Anderson's thing about how hard it is to actually chop through a human body?
Kevin: I'm not worried about a human body! The eye is gelatinous, it is smaller and it pops much much easier. And I don't think my contact lenses are going to stop a fork.
Ursula: Well, that's what you get for not getting ballistic contact lenses.
Kevin: Well, that's fair, that's fair-- no wait, that's not fair, what am I saying!?
Ursula: It's totally fair.
Kevin: It's not fair!
Ursula: Just 'cause you're not security minded doesn't mean the rest of us need to suffer.
Kevin: Ballistic eyeballs are not security minded! It'd be a really nifty upgrade...
Ursula: Yeah, but how often do you get shot directly in the cornea?
Kevin: That's fair.
Ursula: I mean, it's like you might as well just carry around pieces of the True Cross to stop bullets.
Kevin: Yeah, but if you -- you know, they always do those face masks or whatever and they always leave the holes for the eyes, that's a horrible horrible weak spot. If you had ballistic eyes...
Ursula: No, but the people in the riot gear always have the big faceplates.
Kevin: Oh yeah. At least they're clear, so they're not, um, violating the Evil Genius rules. Remember, if you're going to be an evil genius and take over the world, do not use an intimidating mask so that everyone looks the same; you want to see these people's faces, so that you can tell when the hero is infiltrating disguised as one of your people. Also --
Ursula: And what is the point of having an army of clones if you then give them opaque facemasks so you can't tell when someone's there?
Kevin: So you can't tell it's a clone, absolutely.
Ursula: Okay, I've added a cup of water, like it said --
Kevin: Uh-huh?
Ursula: -- and I don't know how this is gonna cook the rice noodles.
Kevin: You cover -- you close the lid or not?
Ursula: Well, let's find -- oh wait, the -- I'm carrying the instructions around.
Kevin: Yes you are.
Ursula: "Cook with box open on high temperature for four minutes or until water is hot." 
Kevin: Oh-kay... Four minutes. And I'm still -- I think I'm mostly eating the Cajun -- still eating the Cajun rice'n'beans 'cause...
Ursula: They're in front of you.
Kevin: They're in front of me.
Ursula: You could put those away.
Kevin: I could.
Ursula: *starts microwave* Somehow I feel like we're cruising for an explosion with this one.
Kevin: No... I mean I've made similar type -- style things that worked before and they didn't explode.
Ursula: Did they boil over?
Kevin: They did not boil over, although? Earlier varieties of similar things used to have you close the lid, so I think this is a change.
Ursula: I dunno, I'm a little worried because I can heat up a thing of cider or tea or whatever to drinking temperature in a minute and thirty seconds.
Kevin: Mm-hm?
Ursula: So -- I grant you it's not boiling at that point, but I can't help but think that four minutes is quite a long time to boil a cup of water.
Kevin: Yeah, but it's also a very tall package, so it's not going to boil over. I can't see how it would boil over in that, that height, unless it was getting some serious bubbles.
Ursula: I go on the record as being alarmed.
Kevin: Oh boy. Well, all right then, I'm gonna move this... horrible piece of rice and whatever out from in front of me so I actually stop eating it.
Ursula: The glop?
Kevin: Yeah, glop is a good name for it. Oh, you got a second fork, good. Now I don't have to go in search of a fork again. *coughs* Okay, don't try to breathe the Cajun spices, that was unpleasant.
Ursula: Okay, we go on the record as saying the Cajun spices are not to be snorted or inhaled.
Kevin: Uh, yes. I'm sure they shouldn't be smoked or, um, injected or any other... thing, now --
Ursula: Applied topically?
Kevin: Okay, applied topically, that's a... that's a... one I hadn't even thought of and... that sounds disturbing.
Ursula: *innocently* What? You could put it on your arm. Or maybe the -- cayenne and whatnot is frequently used as a heat agent, and you apply it in a plaster or a poultice in order to, um -- for aching joints and whatnot.
Kevin: Okay? All right, I can see that.
Ursula: If you're into herbal medicine which I'm not.
Kevin: No.
Ursula: I just take drugs for it.
Kevin: That's right. That's what modern science is for, at least in my opinion.
Ursula: Yes.
Kevin: Yes.
Ursula: Although I would like to know how to make an herbal plaster so that, you know, when civilization collapses I can at least die without an aching joint.
Kevin: Yyyeah, good luck on that one.
Ursula: *sighs*
Kevin: I'm more worried about the other things I won't be able to get if civilization were to collapse.
Ursula: Insulin...
Kevin: Insulin may be important to me in several years.
Ursula: ...birth control pills...
Kevin: That one's definitely important to me.
Ursula: ...dental care...
Kevin: Dental care, yeah.
Ursula: ...toilet paper.
Kevin: Toilet paper. Yeah, leaves you don't -- there are some things you don't want a leaf, use -- use leaves for.
Ursula: Well, actually, back in the old days apparently they used to use corncobs, dried corncobs, which --
Kevin: I have heard of this.
Ursula: And I realize it sounds like a horribly scrapy experience, but apparently if you're sitting there in the outhouse you kinda work it with your hands, like -- and the only gesture I can think of to do this is a distinctly masturbatory one, but nevertheless, you like rub the corncob repeatedly, and --
Kevin: Uh-huh.
Ursula: -- okay, I should stop making the hand gesture 'cause Kevin's giving me the look --
Kevin: Uh-huh.
Ursula: -- and then it becomes sort of soft and, and silky, and -- you know, 'cause of the corn silk fibers or whatnot, and it is then apparently quite an effective form of toilet paper --
Kevin: Whoever was explaining this must be completely full of crap, and I --
Ursula: Well, that's what they use the corncob for, yes.
Kevin: That's -- yes, yes, but, you know, usually I hear these elaborate things about how wonderful it is when it's not really that wonderful and they're trying to convince you to -- um, to use that instead of whatever other... methods there are.
Ursula: There was a guy on the internet who was doing reviews of different ways of wiping your ass --
Kevin: *deep sigh*
Ursula: -- because it was the internet and everyone needs their niche.
Kevin: *sighs* Well, all right, we're reviewing cheap food, I guess he can review ways to wipe your ass. It's a big world out there and thank god he didn't have podcasting technology. How's that looking?
Ursula: For all we know he may now, there could be a How To Wipe Your Ass podcast.
Kevin: *valiantly* The, the -- the noodles all went squishy.
Ursula: Okay, so, "Carefully stir hot noodles until they are separated"... 
Kevin: Yyyeah, good luck with that. They're, um...
Ursula: The box is really hot. This is, this is not a terribly effective -- I mean, the box is toasty.
Kevin: Here.
Ursula: Okay. "Close box. Let stand three to four minutes or longer to allow noodles to soften and absorb box."
Kevin: All right. Absorb box?
Ursula: Uh, stau-- and absorb sauce.
Kevin: I was gonna say, 'cause if the noodles are going to absorb the... box I'm confused. Well, it's fortunate we had the cat interlude earlier to eat up that seven minutes 'cause this is gonna take another four. So! 
Ursula: We could cut it and come back.
Kevin: We could, we could cut it and come back. So we'll be back in a minute -- or, actually, we'll be back in four.
*pause is not noticeable*
Ursula: The -- uh, okay, we are back!
Kevin: We are.
Ursula: Kevin just killed my cantaloupe plant because it was trying to eat a plant called Hairy Dutchman's Pipe, which I bought --
Kevin: Heh-heh-heh-heh, Hairy Dutchman's Pipe.
Ursula: -- I bought partly for the name, I confess; it is a climbing vine, it is a host for the pipevine swallowtail, which is... not a terribly common butterfly around here, 'cause there's no damn pipevine for it, but, uh. Gets these weird little flowers that look like pipes, like smoking pipes.
Kevin: Yeees, not...
Ursula: Anyway, it's a cool thing.
Kevin: Yeah, it's not what you think by the name.
Ursula: Part of my, you know, planting native plants in order to save the world thing.
Kevin: Yes.
Ursula: Which is kind of funny when you realize I am eating processed crap with a carbon footprint that negates my entire garden, but, you know.
Kevin: In fairness, I am carving up an organically grown apple right now for afterward.
Ursula: An orgranically grown apple from Minnesota!
Kevin: From Minnesota --
Ursula: Thereby negating the organic quality.
Kevin: Well... yeah, but it's gotta be better than...
Ursula: Oh wait, hang on, we're supposed to put on the, the...
Kevin: Peanuts!
Ursula: Yes, the --
Kevin: Put on the peanuts.
Ursula: All right, do you want to open the peanuts since you were so worried about me stabbing you in the eye earlier?
Kevin: Yes, yes, I -- whoop! There go peanuts, peanuts, there we go -- see? Easy tear, little squish, and lots of little peanut fragments all over the food. Are we supposed to stir those in or just leave them on top?
Ursula: Uhh... "Sprinkle with peanut topping."
Kevin: Well, that wasn't so much a sprinkle as a dump with peanut topping.
Ursula: Whatever.
Kevin: All right. All right, how's this one --
Ursula: Oh! Crap.
Kevin: It just attacked her. Doesn't look like any Thai food I've actually had before. The sauce has thickened up quite a bit, and the answer is... 
Ursula: The noodles are kind of al dente.
Kevin: That's to be expected. Hm, well -- ow, ah, hot, hot -- hm. Very al dente. Chewy, even.
Ursula: Well, it's better than the... Cajun stuff, I guess.
Kevin: I guess. It's sweet. Very sweet.
Ursula: Hmm.
Kevin: Hm. The, um, dehydrated veggie bits?
Ursula: Are still dehydrated?
Kevin: No... they have no flavor. 
Ursula: This is a fairly flavor-- man, we are gettin' flavorless food today.
Kevin: Yeah.
Ursula: It's, uh... it's no latke, I'll say that.
Kevin: It's no latke. It's no Vigo rice, I'll say that.
Ursula: I don't think it's even as good as the sesame, uh --
Kevin: Sesame...
Ursula: The noodle bowl, the Asian Express noodle bowls or whatnot we were reviewing, Simply Asia, that's it, thank you.
Kevin: Oh, yeah, the Simply Asia -- well, the Simply Asia's usually pretty good.
Ursula: Yeah, this is... well, mediocre.
Kevin: I think ingredients really make a big difference in these, the ones with the -- I'm not gonna say pre-cooked, but the non-dehydrated dried-brick noodles, much better --
Ursula: They are pre-cooked, yeah.
Kevin: -- yeah.
Ursula: These are, um -- I think this cost, I think it was normally three-ninety-nine, and I think we got it on uber-sale, but --
Kevin: It was uber-sale.
Ursula: I certainly would not play -- pay full price for this.
Kevin: Mm-mm.
Ursula: I think it was buy one get one free or thereabouts, which --
Kevin: Mm-hm.
Ursula: And I guess for two bucks it's...
Kevin: For two bucks it's acceptable --
Ursula: But it's nothing to write home about, honestly, and I wouldn't pay full price.
Kevin: No. I mean, I've sat at my desk and had these on a rainy day so I didn't have to walk up to the nearest restaurant, but -- oh, here's the fun part. There are a couple places where the noodles were cooked and have adhered to the side of the packaging. You kind of have to scrape 'em off and sometimes there'll be, like, pulling noodles out and they'll be still stuck to the bottom in a clingy sort of... almost parasitic way.
Ursula: So you do get an exciting little minigame with your food at the desk, but I don't think that quite makes up for...
Kevin: Given some of the corporate workplaces I've been in, that may be the excitement for the day.
Ursula: Hmm. All right, so on our rating scale -- what is our rating scale today, Kevin?
Kevin: Um, what is our... Flying pigs, as I look at the flying pig clock here in the kitchen.
Ursula: All right.
Kevin: Flying pigs.
Ursula: I say we rate it out of eight flying pigs.
Kevin: Eight flying pigs, okay.
Ursula: So, the Cajun stuff I would give maybe one flying pig, maybe one and a half 'cause it's not the worst thing I've ever eaten.
Kevin: I might go two, just 'cause it gives us some variety, but that's pushin' it.
Ursula: Okay.
Kevin: That's really pushin' it.
Ursula: On the other hand the traditional Trader Joe's latkes, potato pancakes, I would go... probably six and a half to seven out of eight flying pigs, those were some tasty latkes.
Kevin: Seven out of eight flying pigs.
Ursula: Yes.
Kevin: They were easy to prepare, it was easy to tell they were done, and they were delicious.
Ursula: Yeah, I don't know how cost effective they are overall, but they were pretty tasty --
Kevin: The kids loved 'em. That was the surprising part. There were no leftover potato pancakes.
Ursula: There wouldn't have been. And, finally, the Thai Kitchen Chinese Sweet'n'Sour rice noodles and sauce in the thing that looks like a takeout container -- eh...
Kevin: Four?
Ursula: I'll go three and a half flying pigs.
Kevin: Three and a half, four flying pigs...
Ursula: One of the flying pigs is, you know, has one wing and is sort of stumbling along the ground, twitching.
Kevin: So the disabled flying pig.
Ursula: It prefers to be called a differently-abled flying pig, thank you --
Kevin: -- the differently-abled flying pig, yes.
Ursula: Oh, now we're going to hell.
Kevin: Yeah, all right. Though, please, like, oh, that's what's going to do it -- And we keep picking at it, that's the scary part.
Ursula: Well, it's here, and we're hungry.
Kevin: Well, there is that. How many times have I said "There is that" this time around? Far too many.
Ursula: There is that.
Kevin: Yeah. Oh, all righty then.
Ursula: All right, well, that does it for us for the week. I think we're gonna dump this swill and eat this organic apple. 
Kevin: Mm-hm. Yes, a Honeycrisp apple from our local farm, 's by a very nice man runs a horse rescue, he's very Irish, he's absolutely brilliant, if you're ever in Pittsboro stop by and see him.
Ursula: This is a damn fine apple.
Kevin: Idn't it though? Specially after what we've been eating, it could be a unreasonable apple and still be delicious.
Ursula: I want caramel.
Kevin: Ohhh boy.
Ursula: Hot caramel.
Kevin: Well, there's our adventure for this evening, um, it's been a pleasure as always, so --
Ursula: By the way, before we let you go -- 
Kevin: Uh-oh.
Ursula: It was suggested to us that among the things we should start reviewing are premade drink mixes, and given the person who said this to me I think she meant the cocktail mixes and the premade margarita mix and whatnot.
Kevin: Hmmm.
Ursula: If you wish to listen to Kevin and Ursula Get Really Drunk, feel free to write in; if you have any suggestions for other things or other classes of things you would like to hear us review, please write us, let us know.
Kevin: Yes, and um, we actually have an email address dedicated to the show now, kevinandursula at gmail dot com, we'll show up, send us your suggestions, your feedback, how you love us, how you hate us, we might even be able to incorporate listener mail in some day.
Ursula: Yes, we wouldn't know how to act. We did incorporate a listener tweet who told us pierogi-- our pierogies sucked. But, um, we could incorporate other listener mail.
Kevin: Very true, very true. We could incorporate even more.
Ursula: This is an excellent apple.
Kevin: Isn't it though? So, uh, I'm Kevin, this is Ursula --
Ursula: *through a mouthful of apple* H'lo!
Kevin: -- and thank you for listening, please visit our sponsors, and we will see you next time!
Category:Episode transcriptions