Punch, Part I

Mee accidently sends the Commander into a coma during a practical joke gone awry with a punch RIGHT IN THE FACE. Also, Tahoma gets kinda screwed over by channel K news.
== Transcript ==
{Begins with Pinkfrosting, and Mee holding a bowl of punch.}
PINKFROSTING: That wasn't funny. {Walks away.}
MEE: Whatever... I knew you wouldn't get it.
REGINALD: Get what?
MEE: Oh, well I was just like, "uh, Hey you want some punch?"
REGINALD: Uh, yeah, OK.
MEE: Well then, PUNCH! {Punches Reginald.}. Ha ha, you know?
REGINALD: {Grabs Mee.} Hey man, what the fu--
MEE: Whoa, Whoa! It was just a joke, Reginald!
REGINALD: Oh. Ohhh, I get it. {Lets Mee go.} Good one, man.
MEE: Yeah. Hey Pugsly!
ALLON: Yeah?
MEE: Do you want some punch?
ALLON: You're not going to punch me, are you?
MEE: Of course not.
ALLON: Oh, well, in that case, I-- UH! {Mee punches Allon. Brief pause.} Can I actually have some punch though? Cuz I'm pretty thirsty.
MEE: I don't think so. {Allon walks off, sad.}
COMMANDER: Hey Meelord, I heard you had some punch.
MEE: I do, indeed.
COMMANDER: Well then, give me some of that punch over here, man. Right in the face!
MEE: Ok... {Quickly holds out a glass of punch to Commander's face, and drops it into his hand.}
COMMANDER: {Drinks, smacks lips.} Pretty good. What is it, like mango flavor--
MEE: {As he punches Commander.} PUNCH! Haha, mango. You fell right into that one man. Right into it. Commander. Commander? {We see Commander is sprawled on the floor.} COMMANDER? Its just a joke, get up. {Kicks Commander.} Hey. HEY! Uh, is that blood? Heh, uh... Commander...
SPACE TREE: {Approaches Mee and Commander.} Hey I heard you were punching people in the face in here and {Notices wounded Commander.} uh, what --
MEE: {Tosses away punch bowl.} I didn't do it!
SPACE TREE: What happened?
MEE: I don't know, he was... It was like that when I got here, okay? I think the green kid might have slipped him some --
SPACE TREE: Whatever, I'll call the space hospital.
MEE: Just as long as they know I didn't do it!
{Ding. The setting is now Commander's Hospital room. He lays in a bed next to a heart monitor. The words "MEE MARONE DIDN'T DO THIS" are written on his headboard.}
Mee Marone didn't do this
ALLON: So, is he gonna be ok?
Space Tree: I'm sure he is, he just got punched in the face. {Pan over to the right to reveal Dr. Vampire.}
Dr. Vampire: Why don't you leave the diagnosis to the professionals, okay hotshot?
SPACE TREE: Are you the Commander's doctor?
Dr. Vampire: My name is Dr. Vampire. M.D.
Allon: Uh, are you a vampire?
DR. VAMPIRE: I don't see how that's relevant, sir. I'm here today to use my medical skills to save your friend's neck. His juicy, blood-filled neck.
SPACE TREE: Ok, well if you need anyone to donate some organs, this guy here {Indicates Allon, who looks alarmed.} will do it. In fact, here's one of his kidneys. {Holds up kidney.}
ALLON: Hey!
DR. VAMPIRE: Thank you sir. I think I'll name her Karen. Karen the kidney.
ALLON: {Suprised.} My kidney is a girl?
{We now see Mee and T. Fresh sitting down to a meal.}
TAHOMA: Is something wrong, Meelord? You've hardly been an asshole all night!
MEE: Oh, its nothing, its just-- one of my co-workers is in a coma, and I cant help feeling partially responsible for him being there.
TAHOMA: Oh, you can't go blaming yourself. How could it possibly be your fault?
MEE: I know, its crazy. Just because I'm the one who punched the kid in the face, thereby putting him in a coma. Stupid huh?
TAHOMA: You put some kid in a coma?
MEE: You’re right; I can’t blame myself for these things. Unfortunately, {Digs fork into entrée.} they're out of my control.
{Whoosh over to next table, where Tarbob and Tarmex are using a listening device.}
TARMEX: Hey, did you hear that? Tahoma Fresh's boyfriend put some kid in a coma!
TARBOB: What a scoop! This is just the break we've been waiting for!
{CHANNEL K NEWS FLASH IN WIDESCREEN! During the newscast, the screen changes often, see bottom of page for details.}
TARBOB: This just in! Earlier today, the boyfriend of Tahoma Fresh punched this young, innocent child in the face, putting him into a, supposedly fatal, coma. I have no confirmation on this, but I believe she did it simply because he refused to watch her shitty little news show. I for one would prefer to live in a space world where children can tune into channel K news without the threat of being knocked out by a big haired Channel J reporter, and her face-punching goons. But it seems to me that, as long as Tahoma Fresh is around, that’s not gonna happen.
MEE: {Now we see Mee and Tahoma watching TV.} Heh, he called you a face-punching goon.
TAHOMA: {Irritated} He was talking about YOU!
MEE: That's ridiculous; we've already established that I had nothing to do with the coma.
TAHOMA: That four-eyed son of a bitch has been looking for dirt on me for years. And now, thanks to you, he’s found a big dirty pile of it! Dirt.
MEE: Uh, I still don't see what this has to do with me, T. Fresh. It's like you’re connecting 2 totally unrelated things here.
{Back to newscast.}
TARBOB: We now go live to myself, at the sexy Spacetown Hospital. Bob?
{We now go to the Tarbob at the Space Hospital, standing with Dr. Vampire}
TARBOB: Thanks, Bob. I'm here with Dr. Vampire, and --
DR. VAMPIRE: {Still holding Karen} Actually, it's pronounced Dr. Vampire.
TARBOB: Uh, yeah, so could you please tell me and my large viewing audience, what exactly caused the patient to fall into this delicious coma?
DR. VAMPIRE: Well, according to my medical research, he was punched in the face.
TARBOB: Whoa, lets just tone down the medical jargon, ok, Doc?
MEE: Punched in the face? Wait a minute; I punched the Commander in the face earlier today. {Begins pinching chin in thought.} Could that mean that I am somehow responsible for his coma?
TAHOMA: That’s what I've been saying...
MEE: Hold on a second, Tahoma, I think the TV is on to something here.
TARBOB: So, is there any chance at all the patient will survive the face surgery?
Dr. Vampire: There's about a 99.999% chance that he'll be perfectly fine.
TARBOB: So there's still a chance that he won't. What have you done, Tahoma Fresh... What have you done! Tahoma Fresh! You did this. Live on Channel K News.
TAHOMA: Frickin' Tarbob. If only I had some way to get back at him!
MEE: {Jumping off couch} Don't worry, Tahoma. I'll take care of it!
TAHOMA: You will?? Oh, thank you!
MEE: That's right, I'm not going to let Dr. Dipshit there do surgery on the guy I allegedly put into a coma.
TAHOMA: Wait, what??
MEE: I'm going down to that hospital, and I'm going to perform the surgery myself!
TAHOMA: You don't have to do that --
MEE: Shh.. It's ok, Tahoma, its all going to be ok...
{Roll Credits.}
== Fun Facts ==
* During Tarbob's newscast, the newsbox next him changes a bunch. Here's what the whole thing was:
** "WHAT A SCOOP, BITCH!"
** silhouette of Mee
** angry picture of Tahoma
** very sad picture of Commander...
** ... which then fades into the Commander's skeleton with hair & teardrop
** doodle of Tahoma with the caption "I PUNCH YOU"
** "CHANNEL J MORE LIKE CHANNEL GAY AM I RIGHT"
** picture of Tahoma punching Jesus
** "THIS ONE TIME TAHOMA FRESH KILLED A DOG AND ATE IT DUDES"
** (the DUDES then changes to "(not really)"
** inverse- Tarbob is in the box and an angry Tahoma is on the outside... then three more clones (goons) of hers appear
** inverse of that
** picture of Tarbob with the caption "MY NAME IS TARBOB"
* In the restaurant, while the camera pans from Mee and Tahoma to Tarmex and Tarbob, we can briefly see Space Tree's Date and Random McPerson sitting together.
* Tarbob couldn't have been searching for dirt on Tahoma for years, as he only knew about channel J in the giving tree, and thus wouldn't have known about Tahoma as a rival at least.
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