Nope (2022)/Transcript

=== Prologue ===
Otis Sr.: Keep our heads up out the clouds on this one.
OJ: I know.
Otis Sr.: Now, we land this... Yeah. Like six guns! I mean, we really put on a show? Well... You know they gotta bring us back for the sequel.
OJ: Mm-hm.
Otis Sr.: Well, we sure as hell ain't gotta sell no more horses. So just execute! And we ain't got no more problems. Hm. You good?
OJ: You good?
Otis Sr.: Where your sister? What's that about? She's supposed to be here!
OJ: Yep.
Emerald: Oh, sh--! I'm sorry, y'all, I'm sorry. Photobomb!
OJ: Lucky. Hang tight. I'll be back.
Emerald: How many you sold? How many?
OJ: Ten.
Emerald: You sold ten of Pops' horses?
OJ: I'm gonna get 'em back. Can you stay out here?
Emerald: Why?
OJ: I'm developing a business relationship and you're a liability right now.
Emerald: How am I a liability?
OJ: How are you a lia--? Don't promote your fuckin' side shit on the job.
Emerald: Oh, my God...
OJ: Acting, singing, dancing, seamstress, motorcycles... You wanna promote something? Promote this business.
Emerald: No, OJ, no! First of all, that's not my side shit, this is. And second of all, if anybody's a liability... [she chuckles]
OJ: Fuck you.
Emerald: Naw, fuck you!
Amber Park: Hi there! It's Amber again, from Jupe's Claim? It does look like we were able to squeeze out a couple of extra press passes for the upcoming Friends and Family preview. Oh, no apology necessary! This is in reference to the biggest, bestest, brand new live show we have coming up here at the park...
Jupe Park: Come in! OJ, thanks for coming out.
OJ: How you doin'? This is my sister, Em.
Jupe: Hi there! So, uh... Who'd you bring me?
OJ: Uh, Lucky. It's my second best horse, y'know, like... He lost focus, so, uh... I mean, I did, too, but I can't fire myself, alright?
Jupe: Hey, that's good! That's good.
Emerald: Hold up. This you? Y- You were literally the Asian kid from Kid Sheriff?
OJ: Em, Em, Em--
Jupe: Nah, it's okay! Yeah, I was, uh, I was Lil' Jupe.
Emerald: Ah, dude, you were literally my favorite! You mind if I get a picture real quick?
OJ: Hey, you mind if we talk?
Jupe: Yes, of course! Please, browse away. Su casa es mi casa.
Emerald: Thank you. I sure will...
Jupe: So, um... Same deal, yeah? Eleven-five?
OJ: Yeah, thank you.
Emerald: That's 3-D, yeah... Whatever happened to that black boy? Y'know he was good!
OJ: Stop. Stop!
Emerald: ...He was good.
OJ: I just wanted to, uh, lay some groundwork, uh, to a pathway of, uh, buying some of them back, right?
Jupe: Yeah. Yeah! Totally. Um... Yeah!
OJ: Yeah?
Jupe: Actually... OJ, the offer I made your Dad is still on the table.
OJ: Oh. Uh...
Jupe: Let me--
Emerald: Yo, wait a minute... 
Jupe: So, that... OJ, have I shown you this? This is in reference to the Gordy's Home Incident.
Emerald: Gordy's Home... Yeah, yeah!
Jupe: So, Gordy's Home is a short-lived but fabled sitcom I starred in, in '96 after Kid Sheriff blew up.
Emerald: Yeah, my pops told me about this show! The-- The monkey went crazy or some shit!
Jupe: Y'know... I usually charge a fee for this.
Emerald: Oh, damn!
Jupe: Tah-dah.
Emerald: Mm.
Jupe: That's the first Exploding Fistbump.
Emerald: What? Really? Y'all came up with that?
Jupe: So, as I was saying, uh, Gordy's Home began airing in the fall of '96, and it was an immediate hit. Uh, ratings were huge, pretty good reviews... Just, really took off.
Emerald: Yeah.
Jupe: Then, uh... One day... We were shooting an episode in Season 2 entitled, uh, "Gordy's Birthday" and, um... Boom. I guess one of the chimps that plays Gordy just... just hit his limit. And it was six minutes and thirteen seconds of havoc. The network tried to bury it, but it was a spectacle. People are just obsessed.
Emerald: You're kidding me. OJ, you said you heard about that?
OJ: Mm-hm, that's why they don't let you use chimps. That's part of the reason.
Jupe: There's a growing Gordy's Home fanbase out there now. This Dutch couple paid me 50k to have me come in here and spend the night. I didn't ask.
Emerald: That's crazy. So what happened really, man?
Jupe: You haven't seen the bad Gordy sketch on SNL? I mean, that pretty much nailed it better than I could. No? Saturday Night Live? Darrell Hammond as Tom. Ana Gasteyer as Phyllis. Cheri Oteri is Mary-Jo Elliot. Scott Wolf is the host, he's me. But, of course, the star of the sketch is Chris Goddamn Kattan as Gordy, and he is... undeniable, 'kay? Bit goes like this: Everyone's trying to celebrate Gordy's birthday, but every time Gordy hears something about the jungle... Gordy -- Kattan -- goes off, and it's-- It's Kattan. He's just crushing it, he is a force of nature, he is killing on that stage. Yeah. It's legendary. Legendary shit.
Emerald: Yeah! Yeah, Imma have to go ahead, look that one up on YouTube, for details, y'know?
Jupe: Totally!
OJ: I got some work I gotta do.
Emerald: So we ain't gonna chill tonight? Nothing?
OJ: You wanna work?
Emerald: Hell no! So, uh, what was the offer?
OJ: Jupe?
Emerald: Yeah.
OJ: He offered to buy the ranch.
Emerald: Oh, really? That's interesting. How much?
OJ: Why?
Emerald: 'Cause! I'm trying to see how big of a dumbass you are.
OJ: Big dumbass, probably.
Emerald: So I guess you don't wanna see what's good with Dad's liquor cabinet then, huh?!
OJ: I got that hobby weed too, actually.
Emerald: That's all you had to say, then! The hobby weed... That's all you had to say, just let me know! You should've dropped that at the top. You got the hobby weed, you know I'm ready! Okay, your reflexes are still quick, like, whoa. I ain't mad at it.
OJ: I'm watching.
Emerald: To the man. Drink. Oh, shit. 'Member Jean Jacket?
OJ: Good horse.
Emerald: S'posed to be my first horse, actually. I was just talking to my therapist about this not too long ago.
OJ: Therapist?
Emerald: Yes. I fuck one on occasion, sometimes. And I was telling her that... For my ninth birthday, I was supposed to get to train Jean Jacket. But then Pops got some Western, and Jean Jacket wasn't mine no more. Classic Otis Senior. I distinctly remember standing right here at this window, watching y'all train my horse. My horse! Pops never looked up at me.
Otis Sr.: Whoa, whoa... OJ, c'mon!
Emerald: But you did, n!gg@! Remember?
OJ: It was Scorpion King, actually. It wasn't a western. And that was the first job Pops took me on. It wasn't much fun. Ended up using camels, anyways.
Emerald: No, the point is... Yeah, fuck the point.
OJ: Yo, that man was hard-headed as fuck. And so were you. That's it. But at the end of the day, you gotta... You gotta admit, man, Pops... Pops did something when he made this place. He changed the industry. That's real. I can't just let that go.
Emerald: Why is Ghost in the arena?
=== Chapter One: Ghost ===
OJ: What's a bad miracle. Hm? We got a word for that?
Emerald: No.
OJ: They said it was a prop plane or something that killed Pops. That shit ain't never made sense to me. And tonight, I heard Ghost made a sound I ain't never heard a horse make--
Emerald: What'd you see? Hm?
OJ: It was big.
Emerald: How big?
OJ: Big.
Emerald: What'd it look like?
OJ: I don't know. It was fast. Too fast. Too quiet to be a plane.
Emerald: OJ. Are you saying what I think you saying?
Emerald: I'm telling you, man, we don't need a lot. We just need enough to make our shit look different from what's out there! You get what I'm saying? Like... You know I ain't trying to run it up. I was just looking online, and I seen a lot of shit...
OJ: You know I'm broke, right?
Emerald: We'll use my money!
[OJ chuckles.]
Emerald: Okay, shut up, look-- Alright... There it is! 5 to 100k.
OJ: Well, read it.
Emerald: You read it! Dyslexic ass. The point is, a website like CyberDominion will pay 5 to 100k for photographic evidence of UFOs and shit.
OJ: 100k?
Emerald: And that's just on the first go.
Angel: You never go around with a fried fish sandwich. Tartar got tang.
Emerald: Stupid... Tartar got tang.
OJ: I don't think it eats you if you don't look at it, nah.
Angel: RTR, bro. Y'know? Like, read the room.
Emerald: Nobody wanna talk about that.
OJ: Every animal got rules, right? We know what it wants, and we know how it comes, so... Fuck.
Angel: We don't really know shit.
Emerald: OJ, what's this about, man? What's this about? You want me to-- You want me to say, "I'm sorry? I was wrong, it's dumb?"
OJ: It wasn't dumb. Own the moment.
Emerald: Stop...
OJ: It was good! It was good.
Emerald: Stop-- Stop this shit!
OJ: But the moment 'bout to pass. And we don't own shit.
Angel: Okay, well, I assume y'all are crashing at mine, right? 'Cause you can. 'Cause I'm not going back to the fuckin' monster umbrella, so.
OJ: We gotta feed it. Let Lucky out. There's shit to do.
Emerald: Always. Always some shit to do...
Holst: There's a wheelchair on your roof.
Emerald: Hi.
Holst: That cloud ain't moved a goddamn inch. So, you're not completely full of shit.
Emerald: Thank you.
Angel: Yeah, thank you. Dude, the concept of Extraterrestrial Animals in the sky is not a new thing. Y'know, people have been trying to get pictures of these things since, like, the fifties, y'know? It's like an ancient--
Holst: How do we see it?
OJ: It's gonna get hungry again.
Holst: Uh-huh.
OJ: So you know... Just ring the dinner bell.
Holst: Mm-hm.
OJ: Now we know what it doesn't like. That little fake horse and flags messed it up good. Got stuck in its windpipes or something. I bet it ain't gonna fuck with flags like that in a minute.
Emerald: Yeah. We pissed him off.
OJ: We're not the reason it settled down here. That was Jupe. He got caught up trying to tame a predator, you can't do that. You gotta enter an agreement with one.
Holst: Yeah. Ask Siegfried and Roy.
Angel: Okay, um... Asking as someone who was in the house when the shit went down... How, exactly, do you enter an agreement with a fuckin'... a UFO alien entity, or whatever you wanna call it?
OJ: Jean Jacket. Call him Jean Jacket.
Holst: So, how 'bout this, how 'bout we... Send ol' Jean Jacket some fresh horses in Golden Hour and see what happens?
Angel: Mm-mm. Horse people.
Holst: Mm, why not just set them free?
OJ: We're not doing that.
Holst: Okay. Who is gonna go down there and get the star out of his trailer?
OJ: Me. I'll get him out. Where you want it?
Holst: You draw him out there... I'm here, on this ridge.
Angel: Oh, shit.
Holst: Made it myself. No electricity.
Emerald: Didn't I tell you this motherfucker was gonna come up here with a non-electrical camera? Let's go, boy! YEAH!
OJ: I been up on there a couple times now. I get it. It's an animal. You don't turn your back on a bear. You don't wear red around a bull, it's like that. You don't look at it unless you want its attention.
Emerald: Good night, Mister Snowman...
Angel: Fuck it. I call Top Hat.
OJ: We ain't got a lot of time. One day. Two days, tops. 'cause word's getting out. And when it does?
Angel: Sorry, dead people. Park's closed!
OJ: People gonna come and do what they always do. Try and take it all for themselves.
Emerald: Fine. Thimble. That's the one I wanted anyway.
OJ: We let 'em come, it ain't gonna matter. 'Cause what we about to do? They can't erase that. He's big. He's bad. And he's got a lot of spirit. But anything with a spirit can get broke.
Holst: So you bring it. I'll get the shot.
Angel: Hey, um... What we're doing's important, right? Like, what we document soon... It's gonna do some good, huh? I mean, besides the money and fucking fame. Like, we can save some lives... Fuck, we-- We can even save Earth. Right?
OJ: Mm-hm.
Emerald: Yeah.
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