1998 Knowledge Adventure Logo Bloopers Season 1 Complete Full Length Version by Carl David Films Inc.

Subway. Eat fresh. Eat poison. Not Subway, Knowledge Adventure. The Subway is the commercial plug should be a commercial plug. Change the logo now! Microsoft. Do they mean the Super Bowl 45 champion, Microsoft? Don't remind me, Mary. I wanted Pittsburgh to win. Not Microsoft, Knowledge Adventure. Change it! Well, what are you waiting for? Okay, okay. Don't rush me. Rockstar Games? Rockstar Games? That logo should watch its Grand Theft Auto. You idiot! You changed the wrong logo! Now get it right immediately! Now it's Minecraft. I never played Minecraft. Hey Mr. Shield, can you make the next logo play Roblox? As good as done, Mary. Of course, we all know Sam's Roblox is P-U. *** *** ***! That's enough! Shield, you're not going to display Minecraft or Roblox or even Call of Duty. You are under contract to display Knowledge Adventure and only Knowledge Adventure. I'm giving you one last chance. That does it! Shield, you're fired! Fired!? Fired!? I have only this to say to you: South Park! I'm going to visit Tom and Jerry at M-G-M. If he's fired, I quit. South Park, Sam. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! No, no, no! The Knowledge Adventure Logo is supposed to stop when the music starts, not fly away. Let's try it again. Uh-oh! Runaway logo! He didn't want to be detected by crooks. He's a *** show-off. Now let's try the logo again. All right shield, what are you trying to do to us? I just wanted to spice things up. You should know when to stop. Now let's try the logo again. Stop the music! This is the music for other version! Now let's try it one more time. Jeez Louise! Who flipped the frame? Sorry. I hit a bump in the road. Well, that explains it. Let's break for lunch. B-backwards N-D? What the hell kind of weird-*** name is that? Looks like a Buddha. If this Buddha can bend it, who needs Beckham? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Lorimar. Where have I heard that name before? I used to date her, but she dumped me for a foreign logo. Mortal Kombat! Mortal Kombat. They bring dragons to life. What is this, a video game? You can be sure... ...if it's Westinghouse. Get out of here, Westinghouse! This is not a commercial production. What are you talking about? This is a free country, isn't it? Out out out out out! O-U-T! Out! Sam, Sam, Sam. Why must you be so rude to our guests? Shut up, you ***! Lincoln. I used to own a Lincoln set. I was expecting Lincoln car myself. Get out! No more commercial plugs in an ident! Period! Saturn. How do you Saturn? I Saturn very well. Now this is getting racy. I agree. What else could come up? The Viacom V of Doom? Oh noes! I shouldn't have said that! [POW!] [BLAM!] Jeez Louise! Did you see that? I don't believe it. The V of Doom just ran Microsoft Sam over like a steamroller. Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam. Did you get the license of that truck? Let's get Sam to a hospital. The Beatles? The Beatles? That's not right. That's wrong! It should be Knowledge Adventure, not The Beatles. The Beatles makes me think of John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr. Speak for yourself, Mike. I just used the restroom a couple of minutes ago. I can tell. I can smell it from a mile away. P-U. Now that's silly. Who ever heard of a WWW Adventure logo? World War? Wild Whiskey? Weird Willie? Wolf Whistle. Do that to me, Sam, and I'll slap you! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! Now what in the heck is a BBB Adventure Logo? I've heard of a B-B-B gun, but not a BBB Adventure Logo. BBBBBBBBBBB! I hope they get it right this time. Guns N' Roses? Guns N' Roses? I don't want tuberculosis. Computer voices never catch tuberculosis. We don't even have lungs. Tuberculosis? Eewwwwww! They'd better get it right this time, or else! Oh no! Not BP! Anything but BP! I don't care if they cleaned up their image after that oil spill! I'm never getting gasoline from BP ever again as long as I live! You hear me? Never never never never never never never never! Now hear this! If you say BP one more time, I'm going to zoom in and beat you up! Screw yourself, BP! We all hate you, and we wish you were never invented! That does it, you asked for it! No no no no no no no no! I take it back! [BLAM!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam! He's out cold, Mary. We'll have to get him to the hospital. And look at the set. It's fallin' apart. We'll have to put up an OUT OF ORDER sign before we get Sam to the doctor. Great idea, Mike. Now let's go. What the hell is this? There are no captions in the logo! I agree with you, Sam. Logo, go back and get some captions. Led Zeppelin? I thought The Rolling Stones owned Led Zeppelin, not Davidson and Associates. Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd. I listen to some rock music by Led Zeppelin. Wrong logo. Change it. This is not Elton John, this is Knowledge Adventure. Change it. [NBC Chimes] The following program is brought to you in Living Color on NBC. Oh, how cute. I love peacocks. I don't. I'm allergic to them. Ahhh... ahhh... Ahh-CHOOOO! Gesundheit. Ah, a new house. I've always wanted to live in a NET house. Keep it up, Sam, and you'll be living in a NUT house! As for you, NET House, go back and get me the Knowledge Adventure Logo! NOW! Mike, why must you be such an ***? Sam, you sonofabitch, I am not a *** ***! You're a potty mouth, as well as a liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! JumpStart on Queen? That'd be new. Anything would be better than to rock you and be a champion. Go! Go go go go go go go! Take it easy, Mike. It's not my fault we keep getting all the wrong logos. It could be worse, like the Screen Gems S from Hell. No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooo! Not that! Not the S from Hell! Let me outta here! Eeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... What's the matter with Sam? He's been terrified of scary logos. First the Viacom V of Doom, next the BP Shield, now the Screen Gems S from Hell. I think he needs professional help. I agree, Mary. Let's find him, then we'll seek out a psychiatrist. Hahahahahahahahahahah lol lol lol lol rofl rofl rofl rofl soi soi soi soi! What's so *** funny, Sam? The caption Knowledge Adventure and Discover Learn Excel is said came in without the man on the stairs. Hahhahahaahahahahahah! It just looks so exquisite that way. Knowledge Adventure? The 1994 Knowledge Adventure logo in a 1998 Knowledge Adventure Logo? They must be really ahead of their time. 1994 Knowledge Adventure Logo, this is a 1998 Knowledge Adventure Logo and you don't come in until 1994. Def Leppard? Didn't they make shoes? I take a size 9. 1998, not 1977! Now it's Scorpions. Our rock songs can be Scorpions if Sam wasn't such a grouch. That doesn't come in until 1965. Go back and bring up the proper logo. Lionsgate? That didn't even exist in 1998. And this is supposed to be Davidson and Associates. Get out of here now! Sam, Sam, Sam, why are you such a grouch? Who asked you, ***? Stop calling me an ***, you sonofabitch! Metallica has taken over Davidson and Associates. I guess Enter Sandman will star in a JumpStart game soon. No more rock bands, my friend, and I'm giving you one more chance. The BBC logo in a Knowledge Adventure ident! Now Doctor Who can costar with Frankie and Hopsalot. Sorry, but Doctor Who a couple of years ago. David Tennant substituted cyanide for Doctor's spinach and beat the snot out of the one-eyed doctor. And they hanged Doctor Who for the *** of BBC. There was not a dry eye in Sweethaven that day. Enough, all of you! And as for the idiot messing up the logos, you're fired! Now you've done it, Sam! Where are we going to find someone to man the shield? There are plenty of other fish in this ocean. They come a dime a dozen. While we're looking for a replacement, let's all go out for lunch. All right! What's going on here? Hey---you with the captions! Who, me? Yes, you. You got the caption wrong. It's Knowledge Adventure, not Accledge Noventure. Go back and change it. Okay, boss. Naccage Sallanture? They should have stuck with Accledge Noventure. I agree. Sounds like tunes for me---  Accledge Noventure. Hee hee hee hee hee! That's R-O-N-G wrong. Start over. What's this? "Lecxe Nrael Revocsid Erutnevda Egdelwonk?" What the hell are you trying to do to me? I was trying to do the whole thing with mirrors. What you have is a mirror image. Go back and do it right. Well, tscha! Nobody appreciates creativity any more. Hey Sam, they finally gave you top billing. I knew they'd give Sam his due sooner or later. Only something's not right. What do you mean? I gave you your proper billing, didn't I? Not the title card you're showing now, the one before it. What's wrong with it? The caption to the left of the man on the stairs is wrong. It should say "Knowledge Adventure," not "Davidson Resents." It's not a mistake. Davidson and Associates really does resent you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Why you--- [BOOM!] Take it easy, Sam. He was just teasing you. Shut up, you ***! Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! 2 logos of Knowledge Adventure in an ident! How silly! Star Trek! That's what I say! We need to talk. Yeah? Whatta you want to talk about, Sam? Not here. Meet me in my office in five minutes. Don't be too rough on him, Sam. He's only learning the ropes. I'm in charge and I'll do what I want. Besides, jobs like his come a dime a dozen. Cut! All right, what's going on here? Hey, you with the captions! Who, me? Yes, you. It's not supposed to be Children's Television Workshop; it's supposed to be Knowledge Adventure. Change it! No, it is not an improvement, but next time, it's not Barney Home Video, it's Knowledge Adventure and get it right, capeesh? As Steve Martin used to say, well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me! Hey Mike, look at the caption! Sesame Street Home Video. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not funny, you ***! One logo is supposed to have Sesame Street Home Video and the other Knowledge Adventure. Change it, or else! Tscha! I can't stand being "or elsed." What are you anyway, a comedian or something? Get it right! Now! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Cinar!" That's rich! Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah Mary, that's so funny! Ha ha ha ha ha! That does it! Caption guy, yoooooooooooou're fired! Fired? Fired? Screw you, Microsoft Sam! I'll see you in court! Take over, Mike. See if you can get it right, unlike that dime-a-dozen bum. Sorry, forgot to put the captions Discover Learn Excel above the Knowledge Adventure caption. I'll try again. Dang! Now I forgot the caption! I miss that dime-a-dozen bum already. Don't worry, Mike. All you need is a little more practice. Let's take a break. There, there, Sam. You're probably having one of those days. After the break, I'll see if we can get the old caption guy back before he sues us for wronngful termination. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-otch! Cut! Where's the Discover Learn Excel? I see a Knowledge Adventure, but no Discover Learn Excel. All right, you ***! Where's the Knowledge Adventure? He had to take a leak. I don't give a flying caption! Go back and get me the Knowledge Adventure! All right, all right! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! DK? What is this, Dorling Kindersley? Dorling Kindersley? Eeewwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Not DK, you fool! Knowledge Adventure! Change it! NOW!! Volkswagen. We must be in the car. Car must be hiding out someplace. Not Volkswagen! Knowledge Adventure! Knowledge Adventure Knowledge Adventure Knowledge Adventure Knowledge Adventure Knowledge Adventure! All right! Can I help it if you act childish? Grit TV? I feel like I'm watching some Western TV Shows. I'm all for going to the steam room when this program is over. So am I, but Sam better keep his towels dry. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Shut up, you ***! And as for the logo guy, one more slip-up, and I'll have you transferred to the Pink Panther Show! Sam, Sam, Sam. What makes you act like such a grouch? That's none of your business, you ***! I am not an ***, you sonofabitch! I'm not a sonofabitch, you ***! [BUZZER] And stop razzing me! That's what I say! Logo guy, you're fired! Fired!? Fired!? I'll sue you for every cent you've got, Microsoft Sam! It will only be frivolous because I fired that dime-a-dozen bum with cause! There, there, Sam. Let me try the shield zoom. Can't be any worse than that dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! Liar! Uh-oh! I had the picture upside down. I'll try to fix it. Later, Mary. Let's take a break. You need a vacation, Sam. Your nerves have been bothering you lately. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! I agree with you, Mike. He's having a bad day. Oy vey! Cut, cut, cut! The Knowledge Adventure Logo isn't supposed to be 1998, not 1994. Sorry, Boss. I just got a little excited. You again!? I thought I fired you last episode. You did, but I filed a lawsuit against you and won, so here I am again. I see your point. Now, you better toe the line, or else! Remind me to fire my lawyers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Bear in the Big Blue House in JumpStart! I agree that it's funny, Mike. I guess we better pack our bags and move to Japan. We're not moving to Japan. Bear in the Big Blue House does not own Davidson and Associates. Get me the proper logo! Now! Muppet Babies is into JumpStart now? I can just see Animal and Gonzo meeting Eleanor and Casey. What the hell is the Muppet Babies logo doing in my Knowledge Adventure ident? Get out! Now! Now it's The Busy World of Richard Scarry that's trying to take over JumpStart. This sucks! I hate The Busy World of Richard Scarry, you hear? I hate The Busy World of Richard Scarry! I hate The Busy World of Richard Scarry! I hate The Busy World of Richard Scarry! Jeez Louise! I goofed again! Have mercy! Go! Go go go go go go go! And this time, stay outta my life forever! Oh yeah? Well, try this on for size, you ***! Look, it's Edmark. Those knuckleheads make me laugh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What are you anyway, a Wisenheimer? I told you to get out of my life forever. I heard you fired your lawyers, so there's no way you can kick me out of here. I'll find a way to kick you out, all right. You just try. In the meantime, chew on this! Judas Priest! It's the Screen Gems S from Hell! I hate that infernal logo so much, I wanna barf all over it! What the hell? I'll do it now! [Sam barfing] Nice try, but you're still forever banned from working here under penalty of death. Okay, Sam. If you insist on barring me from my job, I'm using my secret weapon. Take that, you meany! Oh noes! It's that infernal Viacom V of Doom! Let me outta here! Eee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Not so fast there, Microsoft Sam! I was sent here to torment you. And if you don't re-hire me, Sam, the V of Doom will torment you forever! This is all your doing, you dime-a-dozen bum! I'll never re-hire you and this infernal V of Doom will never get away with--- Eee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You leave Microsoft Sam alone, you ***! Do not interfere with justice, you ***! That's enough, V of Doom! For tormenting Sam and insulting Mike, I'm letting you have it! Take that, you King Daddy of scary logos! [BOOM!!] Thanks, Mary. You saved my life. Speakonia Male 1, you're re-hired. I should have known better. Just don't threaten me with scary logos again. It's a deal, Sam. [NBC Chime] Oy vey! Now it's the NBC Snake. Next, they'll say "brought to you in Living Color." Brought to you in Living Color. Now cut that out! Judas Priest! Just back on the job, and already Sam's starting in on me again! Take it easy, Sam. He's been having a rough time lately, and so have you. I guess you're right, Mike. I think we could use nice relaxing vacation. Perhaps we can go to Japan. Just kidding! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Cut! All right, logo guy, who are you trying to impress? I wanted to get a little creative. The logo is supposed to display Knowledge Adventure, not Fisher-Price. You'll get kids to poop in their pants. Poop in their pants? P-U! Look, Mary, it's Megadeth. Megadeth? Great! Now we can listen to some rock songs uninterrupted, uncut and uncensored. I have one word for putting Megadeth where Knowledge Adventure would normally be: uneducated. Take back the Megadeth logo and get me the Knowledge Adventure logo! Now! TLC? That's nice. It used to be TLC before it became. The TLC meant The Learning Channel. Not TLC, Knowledge Adventure. Take it back and bring up the right logo. International Fellowship of Christians and Jews. An organization that's for children living in extreme poverty. Something is wrong. Yeah. That's why I sent the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews out here. Something always goes wrong whenever Microsoft Sam shows up. You cheap sonofabitch, this is not a *** flick. Get rid of the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews and bring up the Knowledge Adventure logo, or you'll be SOL. All right! Jeez Louise, you are such a grouch today! And my name is Microsoft Sam, not Jeez Louise. Calm down, Sam. You know he's trying as best he can. He's very trying, you ***! You call me an *** one more time, Sam, and I'll wipe your *** with a porcupine. Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Microsoft Mike, why don't you accept the fact that you are an *** and you can't change what you are because it's a fact you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Sam? I'm okay, Mary. I just got so pissed off at Mike for objecting to my calling him an ***. Be a little more careful who you call an ***, you sonofabitch! Teletubbies. I love it. I hate it. This is not a baby show. Bob the Builder. I wonder if Bob the Builder meets Frankie and Hopsalot. What did I tell you about baby shows in an ident? Sorry, Sam, I was put the logo. Get that baby show outta here! Now!! And if you give me one more baby show, I'll make you watch Arthur! Arthur? Eeewwwwwww! Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Spanning the globe to bring you all the highlights in the National Weather Service. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. You fool! This is not National Weather Service, this is JumpStart. Get me the proper logo, or I'll give you the agony of defeat! Give me a break, Sam! I've been running back and forth so much, I'm already suffering the agony of de feet. De feet hurt. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Ha ha ha ha" yourself. Very droll joke. Oh well. Since we mentioned food earlier, let's all take a lunch break. Cut! All right, what's the big idea? Tscha! This is supposed to be a Knowledge Adventure, isn't it? True, but the logo is supposed to display "1998," not "1994." Go back and change it. All right, all right! Picky, picky, picky! Knowledge Adventure Yamaha? How loud do you think they are? AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Mary, you don't have to yell! Sheesh! And it's not Yamaha, it's Discover Learn Excel! Change it now! Shush the sheesh, Sam! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! Hal Leonard. They make strong movies, don't they? Not Hal Leonard... Discover Learn Excel. Knowledge Adventure Sharp. One dose and you'll go JumpStart. Discover Learn Excel! Discover Learn Excel! Discover Learn Excel! Sorry, wrong number. HP? Are we on "Rolie Polie Olie" all of a sudden? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You ***! This is 1998, and "Rolie Polie Olie" came on in 1998. Correct the caption now, or I'll make you watch Rolie Polie Olie! Sam, Sam, Sam, why must you always turn a Knowledge Adventure ident into your own personal sweatshop? Quit making insubordinate comments, you ***! Tantrum coming on now. No no no no no no no no no no! Every time I try to calm Sam down, he acts like he's Genghis Khan! Well, I'm sick of this! Do you hear me? I'm sick of it! Sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch! [BOOM!] If I hear any more outbursts like that, it's over! No! No! No! King of the Hill did not exist in 1998! Go back and get it right! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! The Simpsons does not own Davidson and Associates nor does it own Discover Learn Excel! And that theme music belongs to the 1994 theme! One more slip-up and it's the end! No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! How dare you pair rival studio logos together! This is the end! I'm not doing any more Knowledge Adventure! You're all fired! Do you hear me? F-I-R-E-D! Fired! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! And don't even bother coming here expecting your jobs back, 'cause that's never gonna happen! Never never never never never! Judas Priest! What a temper! Anybody know of a good lawyer? We oughta sue Sam. If he thinks he'll get away with dumping us like this, he's got another thing coming. We'll get revenge on Sam one of these days. ASSWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPE!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What's so funny, Mike? The Knowledge Adventure logo's acting like a 3D picture! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 3D pictures are fun. I wish I watched one when I was a kid. Enough with the 3D pictures. I'm getting dizzy. Stone Television has invaded JumpStart! Looks like we're in for an invasion of sitcoms. Sam would have a royal fit if he saw this logo in an ident. Could you try to get the Knowledge Adventure Logo back, please? Oops! Sorry, my bad. I'll see what I can do. Now it's Star Wars that's gone JumpStart. I can hardly wait to see Frankie and Hopsalot being pals with George Lucas. Say good night, Star Wars. Good night, Star Wars. Who asked you? You're not funny and you're not Star Wars! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Indiana Jones did not take over Davidson and Associates. What are you trying to pull? I just wanted to see what would happen if Frankie and Hopsalot met Harrison Ford. When Microsoft Sam gets back, he's gonna hear about this and he'll give you your just deserts, but good! Judas Priest! Sam was right about you, Mike! You really are a total ***! Don't you start! I am not an ***, you sonofabitch! If Sam were here, Mike, he'd make you a member of the Liars' Club! The Fresh Market in JumpStart! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not funny! Change it! Farm Fresh. Must be rabbit season. Or maybe duck season. The hunter in the sky. Maybe he's looking for Ursa Major. Perhaps he'll find her near the North Star. Fresh Thyme? Fresh Thyme? This is a video game, not a grocery store! Am-scray! Please, Mike, don't get all worked up over these bloopers like Sam does. That's none of your business, you ***! Microsoft Mike! I won't have you calling me a ***! Simmer down, Mary. At least he knows how I feel about these bloopers sometimes. Microsoft Sam! Back so soon? I never thought I'd say this, Sam, but thank God you've returned! So what brought you back here so soon? I took a detour and found myself in a bad place. I raced back here as fast as I could, but someone from that bad place is chasing me. And who's chasing you? So, Microsoft Sam! I've found you! Eek! It's the Devil! He's brought that Satan's Kingdom sign with him. Somebody do something! Protect me from this evil overseer of that infernal realm! Too late, Sam! You are condemned! Prepare for an eternity of pain! Oh no you don't, Satan! Take that! [BOOM!!] No no no no no no no no! Not that! Anything but that! Let me outta here! Eeee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Look at him run! He took one look at the God's Country sign and fled in terror! Sic semper evillis - thus always to evildoers. Well said, Sam. I must go now. Peace be with you. And also with you. It's great to have you back, Sam. We all missed you. And I missed you too. I have an idea: now that Sam's back, safe and sound, let's all go out for some pizza. Your RoflCopter is all set, Sam. All aboard! We're on our way to Pizza City! soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi All right! What are you, a comedian or something? What do you mean? The only logo that should come in is the Knowledge Adventure Logo, not General Mills. So sue me! Sheesh! Shush the sheesh! Shishkabob! I'm warning you! All right, all right! Judas Priest! You really know how to make a guy feel like an ***! Takes one to know one. Kellogg's. That's "Present." That's wrong! Save-A-Lot. I love this grocery store so much. That's wrong. Get it right! You ***! I am not an ***! Liar! You are too! The logo "Albertsons" does not come in. Only the Knowledge Adventure Logo does, capeesh? I get it. Food Lion. I hope Conan's doing his Year 3000 routine tonight. Not Food Lion, Davidson and Associates! Safeway. This grocery store is charged with the bomb. I agree. If you mess with it, it might explode on you. [BOOM!!] I didn't mean it literally! Welcome to the club. This is not American Greetings! Get that Strawberry Shortcake logo outta here! I kind of like Strawberry Shortcake myself. Anna! What are you doing here? I heard you were having trouble with the Knowledge Adventure logo, Sam, so I've come to help you out. Okay, Anna, I'll give you a chance. Anybody can do better than that dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! You are too! Oh crotch! The captions are there, but not the man on the stairs. Don't worry, Anna. You'll get the hang of it sooner or later. I guess you're right, Sam. We'll try again later. I'm all for going out to lunch. Would you like to go Dutch? I think we've been in dutch already. You are so funny, Sam! [Anna laughing] All right, you ***! What's the big idea? What do you mean? And why, in heaven's name, do you keep calling me an ***? Because I can and I said so. Get that Between the Lions outta here and get me the Knowledge Adventure Logo! Now!! Okay, you're the boss. And I am not an ***! You are too an *** and you know it! *** *** *** *** ***! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Bill Nye the Science Guy? Oh crotch! We are all out of Bill Nye the Science Guy. Don't worry, Mike. I'll buy some on the way home today. Where did the Bill Nye the Science Guy logo come from? And it's not Bill Nye the Science Guy, it's Knowledge Adventure! Get it right or I'll spray the Bill Nye the Science Guy logo in your eyes! Mickey Mouse Clubhouse upside 2006. Mickey Mouse art will never die. What are you, a comedian or something? You said it's supposed to be "Knowledge Adventure." Yes, but not "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse." All right then, I'll get a concrete one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Why does he always do this to me? I'm sick and tired of all the *** you give me! You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm sorry, Anna. I just get so sick and tired of all the *** Speakonia Male 1 gives me in these videos. It gets me so worked up and I'm always throwing tantrums. Don't worry, Sam. Just be calm like me. I'm as cool as the other side of the pillow. But not the pillow Sam drooled on last night. Sam drooled on the pillow? Gross! Eeewwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Sony Pictures Animation. Don't they distribute Open Season, Abby? They sure do, Beulah. Next they'll send in the Hotel Transylvania. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Speaking of Hotel Transylvania, if you don't get me the proper logo--- Stop calling me a Hotel Transylvania! At least I didn't call him an *** that time. Watch your mouth, you sonofabitch! Look, it's Living Books. He's so cute. I agree, Mary. I used to play games by Living Books when I was a kid. Get that Living Books logo outta here or I'll sic on you! Take it easy, Sam. I was only joking. I don't even have a book. How much does a net globe cost? I don't care. I'll give this dime-a-dozen bum one more chance. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! Disney's Animated Storybook. I used to play that game when I was a kid. I agree. Now you've done it! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! And don't ever come back! And this time I mean it! Next time I see you I'll jam--- [BLEEP!] Sorry I had to do that, Sam, but I just had to calm you down. That's telling him, Anna. Should we go shopping. Good idea, Mary. I have Sam's credit card with me. Let's go! Hey, logo guy! Who, me? Yes, you! You got the logo upside down! Oh really? I thought this was Walt Disney Classics. Not Walt Disney Classics, Davidson and Associates. Get it right! OPT. As in Operation Prime Time. Those were the days. Breaker 19 for a radio check. Negatory, good buddy. I say Negatory to this logo. It's Knowledge Adventure, not Operation Prime Time. Knowledge Adventure! Knowledge Adventure! Knowledge Adventure! All right! Sheesh, you're such an ***, Microsoft Sam! I'm not an ***, you sonofabitch! And shush the sheesh! Windows 2000. I always wanted an operating system. You're making me thirsty. Oh, wow! I could've had a Windows 2000! Phineas and Ferb? Phineas and Ferb? I don't want Phineas and Ferb. I don't want it either, but if Sam got it on with me, I'd end up with Phineas and Ferb anyway. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Microsoft Mary, you've got your nerve saying I give you Phineas and Ferb! I don't have Phineas and Ferb you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm okay, Anna. I just get so pissed off by cheap jokes about my sex life. There, there, Sam. I used to feel that way, but then I got over it. If I can do it, so can you. Thanks. Now, let's see if the logo guy can get it right. Ed Edd and Eddy. How psychedelic. I love Ed Edd and Eddy. They're so real. Hey, logo guy! Knowledge Adventure! You hear? Knowledge Adventure! I wish you would call me by my proper name. I'm tired of being called "logo guy." If you don't display the proper logo, you'll be called an out-of-work logo guy. Up yours, ***! I AM NOT AN ***! Calm down, Sam. This too shall pass. Canadian National. Canadian National. What's new? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey, logo guy! I have a riddle for you. Knock knock. Who's there? Ama Gana. Ama Gana who? Ama Gana fire you if you don't display the proper logo! Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Sheesh! SHUSH THE SHEESH! Look, Mary. Someone whitewashed the Canadian Pacific logo. I love watching some Canadian Pacific trains, but I also love to write dirty ones. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! LOGO GUY!! Uh-oh! I'd better vamoose! Come back here, logo guy! I hate you so much I wanna take that *** logo and beat your stupid-*** brains out! It's just human nature for me to hate guys that try to make my life a living hell--- ---especially dime-a-dozen bums like you. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR... Hey you! Who, me? Yes, you! What's the deal with this Zonderkidz logo being here when this is supposed to be an ident? I thought this was going to be a spoof of The Legend of the Candy Cane. This is not The Legend of the Candy Cane! This is JumpStart! Get me the Knowledge Adventure logo! Now! All right! Judas Priest, you're such an ***! And stop calling me an ***, you sonofabitch! MainStreet Entertainment? Why, they produced the old "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In." That show was comedy incarnate. I wish they'd bring it back. Was "Laugh-In" a funny show? You bet your sweet bippy it was! Sock it to me! If you don't bring up the Knowledge Adventure logo I'll really sock it to you, but good! Dean River Productions, as in long-playing record. At last, a long-playing logo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Not "Dean River Productions" - "Knowledge Adventure." Dark Castle Entertainment. I used to live on Dark Castle Entertainment when I was a kid. So did I. LH Michael and LH Michelle! You two are not allowed in this video! Get out! Out! O-U-T! Out! Hold it right there, Speakonia Male 1! Come back here! You called, Boss? Yes. I told you to bring up the Knowledge Adventure logo. That's your job. Who's the *** that let in all these inappropriate logos? I don't have to ask. It's you, Speakonia Male 1. What do you have to say for yourself? It wasn't me that kicked down the door, it was those crazy people, LH Michael and LH Michelle, that did it. They shouldn't have broken in here in the first place and I'm putting you on notice. Get the Knowledge Adventure logo in here before closing time, or else! On notice? Me? Screw you, Sam, you ***! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no! *** you, Speakonia Male 1! I'm sick and tired of your *** insubordination! If you keep screwing up the Knowledge Adventure logo, you're fired! You hear me? Fired! You sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm all right, Anna. I just get so pissed off at all these inappropriate logos invading the JumpStart turf. Oh well, this too shall pass. Georgio's Oven Fresh Pizza Co. I guess we'll next be visited by DiGiorno. One more commercial plug in an ident and I'll slap you. Sheesh! Shush the motherf**king sheesh! Debmar-Mercury. I guess Debmar-Mercury will now start showing JumpStart. Leaping Jaguar presents Frankie and Hopsalot. Made possible with a grant from ACME Carrots. If I told you once, I've told you a gazillion times, it's "Knowledge Adventure!" Tyler Perry Studios. It's official now: Tyler Perry and Davidson and Associates have merged. I can see it now: Frankie and Hopsalot meets the characters of Tyler Perry. No, no, no, no, no! Tyler Perry did not merge with Davidson and Associates! You have exactly one more chance to bring the Knowledge Adventure logo in here, capeesh? Sam, you're becoming a real control freak! One more insubordinate comment like that and you're a dead man! 5914 Productions. Time for an episode of Are We There Yet. You two here again? I'm calling Security! And as for you, Speakonia Male 1, you know what this means? I don't get the company car you promised me? YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!! Fired!? Fired!? I've got a wife, ten kids and three credit unions to support! If it takes every cent I have, Microsoft Sam, I'll sue your sorry *** so vengefully that one day you'll be working for me! Sure you will. When Hell freezes over! Don't despair, Sam. You still have the rest of us to back you all the way. I guess you're right, Anna. Let'*** the bar. It's happy hour. All the drinks are on me. Entertain the Brutes. Can Brian Williams be far behind? Not really, Anna. I yearn for the days of the Huntley- Brinkley Report. Not a bad suggestion, RoboSoft 3. Coquette Productions. Easy as the duck. Simple as the goose. That's nice, but you forgot the duck to go with the logo. Whoops! Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! It must be time for watch the episode. Come and listen to my story about a dog named Scooby-Doo. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. No wonder they moved to Hanna-Barbera. That Shaggy's got his own cement pond. That Shaggy is a millionaire. Any news on Sam yet? Sam won't give in. He still won't re-hire Speakonia Male 1. He's as stubborn as a Missouri mule. Look, Michelle, It's a Laugh Productions. It's a Laugh Productions are free. What TV Show is this from? Hannah Montana. It's aired on Disney Channel. Now what is this? The Bedford Falls Company. The Bedford Falls Company? I love The Bedford Falls Company. Take it back. Now. What's the matter, Anna? Don't you like The Bedford Falls Company any more? I love The Bedford Falls Company. They make my face break out. Now I know what Anna watched last night. How's it going, logo-face? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! [BOOM!!] Holy Schneikees! You made my face break out! Sorry about that, Mary. I just don't like being called "logo-face." Be careful next time. What you just did to me made me sick. Eeeeewwwww! Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Game Cube? What's a game cube? Don't you know, Mike? You roll seven-come-eleven with them. Dice. The original game cubes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Michael Jacobs Productions. If you can cross over, we can watch Boy Meets World. Speakonia Male 1! You're back! We missed you. Back already, Speakonia Male 1? Where's Microsoft Sam? I can explain everything. You better explain it fast. I heard that Sam's looking for you. He's got the police looking for you too. Sam and the cops are after Speakonia Male 1? I thought you were holding him hostage. I was, but Sam grabbed the gun out of my hand and started shooting at me. I hot-footed it out of there, but Sam warned me never to come here or I'd be sorry. [Siren] Uh-oh! The fuzz! If Sam sees us here, we're dead! Hide us! Quick! Aha! I thought I'd find you here! Microsoft Sam! Give me another chance! And please stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle! Hah! That gay boy and his lesbian sister? I'm not a gay boy! And I'm not a lesbian. I'm not even from ***. Liars! Arrest them, Officer! On what charges? Criminal trespass, gross insubordination and mutiny. And make it a capital offense. Microsoft Sam! Are you out of your mind? Sorry, Anna, but justice has to be done. Officer, if you'll just hear me out for a second, I can explain everything. Go ahead. On my way in here, I stopped at the courthouse and filed a wrongful termination lawsuit against Sam. I also accused him of gross homophobia and being a control freak. This from you, a mutineer! Be quiet, Sam! Hear him out. Thanks. And not only that, I've secured a court injunction allowing LH Michael and LH Michelle to stay in these videos. Sam is never to hate them any more or call them homophobic names. All right. I won't arrest you, LH Michael or LH Michelle. And if Sam issues an apology, I won't press charges against him. Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Foiled by a broken justice system! When will they ever learn who's in charge of things here? This is a travesty, you hear me? Travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty! [BOOM!!] Are you through, Sam? Yes, Officer. I'm sorry for the tantrum and all the trouble I've caused. Speakonia Male 1, you're re-hired. And as for LH Michael and LH Michelle, I promise never to hate you again. Can we continue with the Knowledge Adventure logo, please? Go ahead. Wind Dancer Production Group? In a Knowledge Adventure ident? what next, Frankie and Hopsalot watch Home Improvement? Best Brains Productions? Which Best Brains do they hail from? Kentucky? Virginia? Massachusetts? Nerdocrumbesia? Best Brains in Nerdocrumbesia? Just kidding, Sam! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! Same old Sam. Always calls me a *** every time I get the best of him. Don't worry, Mary. This too shall pass. And how about getting the logo right for a change? Roger. The name's Microsoft Sam, not Roger. Sorry. Well, it's an improvement. All we need to do is replace 1994 with 1998 and we'll be on Easy Street. Not to worry, I'll try again. Not just yet. It's been a trying day and I need to get a little rest. Let's take the rest of the week off. Works for me. Me too. It sure feels good to see you back, Sam. I missed you. I missed you too, Anna. I love you. And I love you too, Sam. [Anna] Sam? Where are you? [Mike] He said he'd be a little late coming in. [Mary] He's probably lecturing the Logo Guy. [Anna] Well, we might as well get started. [Anna] Nice to drop in, Sam. What are you doing atop the Knowledge Adventure logo? [Mary] Great entrance, Sam. Are you auditioning to be Frankie's stuntman? No, I'm not auditioning to be Frankie's stuntman. I was telling the Logo Guy to get the proper logo in here and I wound up on top of it. [Anna] Sam, you look good riding the logo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Logo Guy] I told you not to sit on the logo, Sam. [Sam] Now you tell me. ***! [Mary] Now where'd Mike go? [Sam] Mike, you ***! Get off the logo! You're not Frankie. Don't call me an ***, you sonofabitch! This logo is so pointy, it hurts to sit on it. Ouch! [Anna] I think Mike looks good atop the logo, but where's Mary? [Sam] She probably went to get a drink of water. Hey, this is fun! I could feel the breeze in my hair when I in. [Sam] Logo Guy! [Logo Guy] What's up, Sam? [Sam] Don't "What's up, Sam" me, you ***! Tell Mary to get off the logo... right now! Don't listen to Sam, Moon Guy. I love these moon rides. [Mike] I'm hip to you, Mary. [Sam] Microsoft Mike, stop encouraging people to do these crazy stunts! You are a certified first-class ***! An ***. you hear? AN ***!!! [Mike] Microsoft Sam listen to me good: I AM NOT AN ***! I NEVER WAS AN ***! I'LL NEVER BE AN *** AND I WANT YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AN ***! YOU HEAR ME? STOP CALLING ME AN *** YOU SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH!! [BOOM!!] [Speakonia Male 2] Holy Schneikees! Mike throws a tantrum in a 1998 Knowledge Adventure Logo Bloopers video? [Speakonia Male 3] Usually Sam throws tantrums in these videos. [Sam] Gad! What a temper! Anna? Where's Anna? Have you seen Anna? Here I am, Sam! Mary's right. This is fun! [Sam] Anna? You're riding the logo? Yeah, but I think Mike's right when he said it needs a little smoothing out. [Sam] I'm hip to that. Hey Logo Guy, have you been charging admission to let people ride the logo? [Logo Guy] Nope. I let them ride for free. After all, you started it, Sam! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Sam] Sheesh! [Abby] Hey Beulah, this is fun! I can see clear over to Albuquerque from here. [Beulah] I agree, Abby. We should remember to take that left turn there. [Sam] Two people riding the logo at the same time? [Mike] At least that'll make riding it smoother. Hey Michelle, this has Coney Island beat by a country mile. I agree, Michael. They should name this place the Chuck Jones Memorial Park. [Sam] LOGO GUY!! [Logo Guy] You bellowed, Sam? [Sam] Yes, I bellowed, Logo Guy. Did you let this gay boy and his lesbian sister in here again? Come on, Sam, give us a break. Stop hating us. We have as much a right to ride the logo as the rest of you. [Sam] I don't care! You're still not allowed in here! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! [Logo Guy] Microsoft Sam! You can't keep chasing LH Michael and LH Michelle as if they were prairie dogs! You'll turn into a hate criminal if you keep this up! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Why do you keep *** up my life, Logo Guy? LH Michael and LH Michelle are unauthorized personnel! I am not a hate criminal! You hear me? I am not a hate criminal you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] [Anna] Sam? Are you all right? [Sam] I'm all right, Anna. I just get so pissed off at the Logo Guy for letting LH Michael and LH Michelle in here. He doesn't realize how much I hate their guts. [Anna] Don't be too rough on them, Sam. Just because they're different doesn't mean they're undesirable. As a personal favor, please give them a chance. Do this for me, okay? [Sam] Okay, Anna. I'll try, but it won't be easy. [Speakonia Male 2] White Castle. [Mary] I love that restaurant. It's so cute. [Speakonia Male 3] What's up, restaurant? [Sam] If they try to sell me insurance again, it's restaurant soup. Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [LH Michael] Whataburger. [LH Michelle] I love this restaurant. [Sam] Ix-nay on the ugs-restaurant! [Logo Guy] Oy vey. [Moon Guy] Oops! I goofed again! I know I should be punished. Let me take off my trousers. [Speakonia Male 2] Don't bother. I think they've reached the limits on what *** probing can teach them. [Sam] Well, you're in the ballpark. This gives me an idea. Hand me the tools. Oh Sam! You are so gifted with tools. I'm glad you like it, Anna. I call it "The Knowledge Adventure Logo-Mobile." I especially love these new seats. It's much more comfortable than sitting on the logo itself. It's almost lunch time. Wanna go Dutch? I'm one step ahead of you, Anna. All right. Hang on, here we go! [Beulah] Holy Schneikees! That's a real fast machine Sam's got! I wish I could ride one of those. [Abby] So do I, but Sam's only built one. [Mary] Well, at least we know where they usually have lunch. [Mike] We can join them at the commissary. [Logo Guy] May I tag along? [Mike] Only if you ride your own logo! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Moon Guy] Oh crotch. Quiet on the set. This is a take. Cue the logo. I said cue the logo, not the Sprouts Farmers Market. [Logo Guy] Well, it does start with an "S". Looks like it's going to be one of those days. With Sam, every day is one of those days. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Shut up, you ***! [Mike] How many times must I tell you, Sam? I am not an ***! [Sam] Liar! You are too! He's not an ***, Sam. Don't encourage him, you ***! And get me the proper logo! [Logo Guy] Roger Wilco. Bass Pro Shops. I used to know her in college. She must be Britney's sister. I'll spear your Bass Pro Shops if you don't get me the proper logo! [Logo Guy] Don't get violent, Sam! [Speakonia Male 2] Church's Chicken? What in the world is Church's Chicken? [Speakonia Male 3] That's pronounced "Churches Chicken." It's that restaurant that made chicken famous. Benny Hill? Good show, lads. [Logo Guy] Oops! Yet another logo blooper. Ah yes. Bad show, lads. Hi, Sam. Are you having trouble with the Knowledge Adventure logo again? Same old song and dance. Don't worry, Sam. Let's see what comes up next. Staples. That's near Staples, isn't it? The office store must smell like Teen Spirit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not the smell of Teen Spirit. Office store is used for electronics, and that office store must have just relieved itself before coming here. You mean he just pooped? Sickening. Gross. Eeeeewwwwwwww! Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww! [Barfing] [Jingle singers] Ajax Laundry Detergent is stronger than dirt! Ajax, stronger than dirt. I thought the ghost of Jim Morrison of the Doors just came in. We can use that to clean up the bucket after someone gets sick in this studio. What did we tell you? No commercial plugs in an ident! Now let's get on the stick! PetSmart. It must be time for "pet store." Danger is his business! LH Michael and LH Michelle! What are you doing here? Take it easy on us, Sam. The cops warned you not to hate us again, remember? Sam, why must you insist on hating LH Michael and LH Michelle? For Pete's sake, be nice to them, okay? Get a hold of yourself, Sam. You've got to exhibit tolerance. Keep cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum in five, four, three, two, one... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! What in the blessed name of J.L. Davidson is this world coming to when I have to tolerate people I feel like hating? It sucks, you hear me? It sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks! [BOOM!!] Calm down, Sam. They're just people like us. I'm sorry for acting that way, Anna. I guess I'm trapped in my old ways. [Anna] That's all right, Sam. You'll get over it soon. Shall we continue with the Knowledge Adventure logo now? Great idea. Hey, Logo Guy! [Logo Guy] I know. I'll bring up the proper logo. [Logo Guy] How's this, Sam? [Sam] Well, it's an improvement, but we're using the 1998 version and this logo is from 1994. [Logo Guy] Give me a break, Sam. It's been a trying day. [Sam] I know the feeling. Let's all take the rest of the day off. [Anna] I'm for taking the rest of the day off too, Sam. You need some rest. I'll be right beside you. [Sam] Thanks, Anna. [Mike] Looks like they're an item. [Mary] I knew they'd get along. Places, everyone! This is a take! Roll camera! Cue the logo! All right, Logo Guy! What are you, a comedian or something? [Logo Guy] You wanted the logo, you got the logo. Yeah, but you got the logo wrong. It should be "Knowledge Adventure," not "Office Depot." Office Depot. Office what? Office Depot. I thought it meant "Office Depot Stores." Shut up, you ***! OfficeMax? That's what I say! OfficeMax is going on here? [Logo Guy] Oops! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Logo Guy. Get it right or I'll f--- you where the sun doesn't shine! [Logo Guy] Don't get dirty, Sam! WinCo Foods. I just love the grocery store. Not WinCo Foods, you ***! Knowledge Adventure! Knowledge Adventure! Knowledge Adventure! [Logo Guy] Quit calling me an ***, you sonofabitch! [Speakonia Male 2] Big Y. [Speakonia Male 3] When I was little, my family went to the Big Y. Oh really? My family used to go grocery shopping a lot. Listen up, Logo Guy! You're supposed to bring up the Knowledge Adventure logo and ONLY the Knowledge Adventure logo! You hear me? [Logo Guy] And you listen to me, Sam! YouTube user BJ29035 demands that we include Looney Tunes Characters in a 1998 Knowledge Adventure Logo Bloopers video! And Carl David says there would be copyright issues if we did that! Now get on the stick! Publix. Programming research will never die. LOGO GUY!!! [Logo Guy] You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed! Now pay attention! Knowledge Adventure! Knowledge Adventure! Knowledge as in Wisenheimer, Adventure as in Blockhead! Knowledge Adventure! Now!! LOGO GUY, YO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OU'RE FIRED!!! [Logo Guy] Fired!? Fired!? Screw you, Microsoft Sam! I'm telling BJ29035 on you! Calm down, Sam. Carl David is right. If we used the Looney Tunes Characters in one of these videos, Davidson and Associates would hit him with a copyright strike. Gee, Anna, that makes me feel a lot better. Eek! It's the Devil and the She-Devil! You're right, Beulah. Grab hold of the nearest cross. [Devil] Chill out, babes. It's not you that we've come for. [She-Devil] We've come for Microsoft Sam. You infernal beasties! You dare invade a 1998 Knowledge Adventure Logo Bloopers video? We were having a lot of fun ourselves until you two evildoers showed up. We've got a good mind to call on God to drive you away. [Devil] We have a message to deliver to all of you. [She-Devil] Since Carl David refuses to include Looney Tunes Characters in these videos, we claim Microsoft Sam's soul. Get thee behind me, Devil and She-Devil! Carl David won't do it because he might get a copyright strike against him. [Devil] BJ29035 says that's all ***. [She-Devil] If Carl David still refuses to include Looney Tunes Characters, we will *** all over you. That's far enough, Devil and She-Devil! Get out of here right now, or I invoke the wrath of God! [Devil] Scandalous! Shall we let them have it? [She-Devil] Let's do it. Bombs away! [PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP] Gugh! Not again! Eeeeewwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwww! [Barfing] You filthy animals! Eeeewwwwwww! Eeeeeewwwwwwww! [Barfing] You'll pay for this, Devil and She-Devil! Eeeeeeewwwwwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! [Barfing] Jiminy Christmas! All over my best dress! Eeewwww! Eeeeewwwwwww! [Barfing] [Devil] Look at them, covered in ***! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [She-Devil] They're so sick they can hardly move! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You've gone too far, cesspool swimmers! Take that! [BOOM!!] [Voice of God] All right, Devil and She-Devil! Now you get yours! [Devil] Not the cleaning again! [She-Devil] We can't stand having our *** cleaned! [Voice of God] Take that, dirty creatures! [Devil] Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! [She-Devil] Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Thanks again, Angel. We're cleaned up and feeling better. And we're glad those infernal goons are getting their come-uppance. A-men! You're welcome. [Logo Guy] Oh no! Not again! I know I should be punished. Don't worry. When that Devil and She-Devil let loose on me, I regretted letting you go. You're re-hired, Logo Guy. [Logo Guy] Thanks. [Anna] This is Microsoft Anna with a follow-up report on the mix-up that just took place. The Devil and She-Devil have gotten their come-uppance. And Carl David need not worry about BJ29035 abusing him for not using Looney Tunes Characters. Carl's right about the copyright issues, BJ is wrong, and let's let it go at that. Keep watching this channel for future 1998 Knowledge Adventure Logo Bloopers videos. Hey, Logo Guy! [Logo Guy] You called, Sam? What's the big idea with the Commercial Land logo? You're in JumpStart, not commercial. Change it now! [Logo Guy] Surely you can't be serious. [Sam] I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. Trader Joe's. Tonight's drink: wine. I agree. Knowledge Adventure, not Trader Joe's. Get me? [Logo Guy] Sorry about that, Chief. Whole Foods Market. Good morning, Whole Foods. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to hunt down the grocery store. What's with the commercial plug titles? You're supposed to have the Knowledge Adventure logo in, you dig? [Logo Guy] This logo will self-destruct in five seconds. [Ticking] [BOOM!!] [Sam] *** *** *** *** ***! [Speakonia Male 2] It's Vitamin Cottage. [Speakonia Male 3] Tonight, starring vitamins. I've always admired vitamin store. Vitamins are my favorite. And if you don't bring up the Knowledge Adventure logo, it will be the Case of the Missing Logo Guy. [Logo Guy] Sheesh! [Sam] And shush the sheesh! Lidl. A grocery store that comes from Germany. You two again!? Get out! Out! Oh, come on, Sam! Give us a break! We're not undesirables just because we're different. God did not put me on this Earth to tolerate gay boys like LH Michael and lesbians like LH Michelle! Get out, before I THROW you out! Microsoft Sam! I won't stand for any more of your bigotry! Accept them and be done with it, capeesh? I don't need a lecture from you, Fatso! I said stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle! And don't ever call me "Fatso!" [CRASH!] Ouch! My ribcage! My spine! Owww! Six Flags. Now Six Flags can be an amusement park. And an amusement park can have roller coasters. It sure is a great time to be at Six Flags. Hey, Logo Guy... IT'S NOT SIX FLAGS, YOU ***, IT'S DAVIDSION AND ASSOCIATES! [Logo Guy] Okay, Sam. If you're gonna be a sonofabitch, I'm gonna give it to you good! Holy Schneikees! Do you see what I see? It's the Viacom V of Doom, the Screen Gems S from Hell, and the B-Backwards-N-D Mask of Guo Jiang! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam! Oh my gosh! Sam's having a heart attack! Call 9-1-1! Oh...where am I? This doesn't look like the studio. What is this place? [VID (B-Backwards N-D) MUSIC] Holy Schneikees! Am I really in Satan's Kingdom? Yes, Microsoft Sam. And this time, you really DIED! And now that you're dead, you belong to us... ...forever! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! God, save me! You heard him, Satan! Let Sam go! And who's gonna make me? [Voice of God] I will, you infernal hound dogs! Bring Sam back to life! NOW!! Go away, interferer! Sam is MINE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! [Mary] He's coming to, Anna. Oh...where am I? Relax, Sam. You're in a hospital bed. The doctor said you had a mild heart attack. You're going to be okay. That's a relief. I had a vision in which I met the Devil and the She-Devil in Satan's Kingdom. I called for God and the Angel to save me, but the Devil stabbed me in the gut with his pitchfork! Ouch! There, there, Sam. You probably had a bad dream. And how are things at the studio? Just fine. They're still trying to get the Knowledge Adventure logo introduction correct. That's not the Knowledge Adventure logo. It's the Television from the Paramount Blue Mountain logo. That's right. That Blue Mountain keeps abusing me, and he keeps lying about it. If the Television came here, I wonder where the Knowledge Adventure logo could be. [Knowledge Adventure Logo] Would you like me to buy you a drink, Blue Mountain? [Blue Mountain] Let'*** the bars. The night is ours. Quiet on the set! Roll camera! Cue logo! [Sam] Hahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [Logo Guy] What's so damn funny, Sam? You got not one logo up there, but two! [Logo Guy] I've been experimenting with DNA. Do your cloning on your own time. Now get it right! Three logos. Next they'll show the Three Stooges. Soitenly! Nyuk-nyuk! Now that's three logos to the wind. It's supposed to be one logo, not three. [Logo Guy] My assistant researcher is very fertile. One, two, three, four. Four Knowledge Adventure logos. Have you got any more? [Speakonia Male 2] Looks like a four-leaf clover. [Speakonia Male 3] I'm looking over a four-leaf clover that I overlooked before. You ***, Logo Guy! There is supposed to be only one logo in! Do you hear me? One! [Logo Guy] You're no fun any more, Microsoft Sam! Red logo, no captions. I prefer a blue shield, thank you. And just what are you two doing here? Sam, you have no reason to hate us. Just because we're different doesn't give you the right to call us undesirable. I am going to say this once, and only once. WHAT PART OF "EVIL PERVERTS" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? Microsoft Sam! What part of "hate criminal" don't you understand? If you don't stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle, your *** is grass! Do you hear me? Shut up, Fatso! And stop calling me "Fatso!" [CRASH!] Security!! Calm down, Sam. If only you were a little more tolerant of LH Michael and LH Michelle, this wouldn't have happened to you. I'm sorry, Abby, but you just have to face the truth at some point. And how about some captions for the logo? [Logo Guy] Sure thing, Baldy. [Sam] And don't call me "Baldy!" LOGO GUY!! [Logo Guy] You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Logo Guy! Where's the logo? [Logo Guy] You said you wanted some captions, so I gave you some captions. I want to see some captions with the logo, you hear? The captions with the logo! [Logo Guy] All right, all right! Sheesh, you're such an ***! [Voices singing] SEGA. Not SEGA! Knowledge Adventure, you hear? Knowledge Adventure! Calm down, Sam. You know he's trying. Yes, Anna. He's trying, all right--- very trying. They're playing my song! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey Logo Guy, could you display the words "Looney Tunes" as well? [Logo Guy] Sure, Mike. I've got a zillion of them. Don't encourage him, Mike. I'm in charge here. [Sam] And give me the proper logo this time, or your *** is grass! LOGO GUY!! [Logo Guy] Uh-oh! I'd better vamoose! Come back here, you coward! [Sam] Gotcha, Logo Guy! Now you're getting the punishment you deserve! [Logo Guy] What're you gonna do to me, you sonofabitch? This! [RIP!!] Ouch! You mutilator! You should have thought of that before you started messing up the logo. Calm down, Sam! You know Carl David disapproves of your abusing the Logo Guy, not to mention your loathing of LH Michael and LH Michelle. Let them be, and be done with it. She's right, Sam. Don't let it upset you. Remain calm. Uh-oh! Tantrum in five, four, three, two, one... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap!! It's my Knowledge Adventure logo and I can do what I damn well please! I don't need anyone like that *** Logo Guy or those perverts LH Michael and LH Michelle whom I demand that the Devil torment forever! This sucks, you hear me? Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks!! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I guess so, Anna. I'm sorry I acted that way. I guess I'm too set in my ways. [Anna] There, there, Sam. Everything will be okay. Shall we continue with the Knowledge Adventure logo now? [Sam] Good idea. Hey Logo Guy! [Logo Guy] I'm one step ahead of you. Jeez, now I know what a eunuch feels like. If this is Blimpie, I wonder if there's a submarine sandwich. Submarine sandwiches, oh my god! [Logo Guy] Oops, wrong logo again. I do hate shabby work. [Sam] And so do I. Hey! What's going on? We're shutting down, Sam. They cut the budget in half because the tantrums you and your friends threw caused a 400-percent spike in energy bills. And it's just after curfew. You coming, Mary? I'm right behind you, Mike. [Anna] Are you ready, Sam? [Sam] I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Anna. [Anna] Okay. Here we go! Hey, Logo Guy! [Logo Guy] You called, Sam? What's with the Chick-Fil-A logo? This is supposed to be Knowledge Adventure. Bring me the logo! [Logo Guy] Sorry. Smoothie King? Who in the heck is Smoothie King? Maybe it's a smoothie restaurant. Smoothie King is a smoothie restaurant. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is not Smoothie King. This is Davidson and Associates. Get it right! [Logo Guy] Sam, you're really acting finicky today. [Sam] Shut up, you ***! [Logo Guy] Don't you call me an ***, you sonofabitch! Red Robin? Didn't they produce a hamburger restaurant? Red Robin, good restaurant. Hamburger is my admired favorable. Neither did I. Get me the logo, and be quiet! They call him Jack in the Box. Jack in the Box, faster than lightning. No one you see is smarter than he. You two again? You don't seem to face facts, do you? Sam, Sam, Sam. Stop being such a hater! We have as much a right to be in these videos as the rest of you. I have no desire to be friends with people whom I know for a fact are evil. Get out! It's no good to vent out wanton hate against a person just because he or she is different. We are not evil. Accept us and be done with it. What's the worst that can happen to you? What's the worst that can happen to me? GOD WOULD HATE ME FOR ACCEPTING YOU!! Microsoft Sam! Stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle at once! You know that God is very forgiving. I don't dabble in heresy, Fatso! Stop calling me "Fatso!" All right! Sheesh! You don't have to throw me around the studio like a beanbag! I'm not throwing you around like a beanbag this time. Then what are you gonna do to me? [Beulah] This! [RIP!!!] {Sam] Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Why did you just give me a wedgie? It's your just punishment for hating LH Michael and LH Michelle. And if you do that once more, I'll throw you into Satan's Kingdom! Do you hear me? Stop hating them! Beulah, you frighten me more than the V of Doom, the S from Hell, and the B-Backwards N-D Mask of Guo Jiang rolled into one. And as for you, Logo Guy... [Logo Guy] You don't have to remind me. Jeez, what a bigot! [Speakonia Male 2] Jersey Mike's Subs? [Speakonia Male 3] Jersey Mike's Subs, come home! Logo Guy, you must be Jersey Mike to keep messing up the logos like this. Now get it right or I'll put you on a leash! [Logo Guy] On a leash? Sheesh! [Sam] And shush the sheesh! Jamba Juice. I love it. Jamba Juice is a smoothie restaurant. Enough with the animal shows. No more dolphins, and no more restaurants. I want the Knowledge Adventure logo and ONLY, ONLY the Knowledge Adventure logo, you dig? Take it easy, Sam. Anna and I happen to be restaurant lovers. I love all restaurants. I got thrown from one once. I didn't know Mary was that strong! Hahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Stay calm, Mary. Relax. Keep your cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum coming on. Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Microsoft sam, how dare you call me a restaurant! You should be tied to a post yourself you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Jeez Louise! Now Mary's thrown a tantrum in a 1998 Knowledge Adventure Logo Bloopers video! Are you all right, Mary? I'm okay, Abby. I hope Sam apologizes for calling me a horse. All right, Mary, I'm sorry for calling you a restaurant. And Beulah, I promise to never, ever call you "Fatso" again... ...especially since I need to lose weight myself. Well, Sam, it takes one to know one! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! A&W. That's where I used to hang out. LOGO GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Logo Guy! I want the Knowledge Adventure logo, you hear me? Knowledge Adventure! NOW!! Carl's Jr. Explore fast-food restaurant on the wall. All right! Enough is enough! Out you two pixies go, through the door or out the Windows! Not again, Sam! And that goes for you too, Beulah! [Sam] Out! Out! All of you! OUT!!! [ZOOM] [CRASH!] [ZOOM] [CRASH!] [ZOOM] [CRASH!] Microsoft Sam! Are you out of your mind? [Sam] And as for you, Logo Guy... [ZOOM] [CRASH!] [Sam] You're fired! And I'm calling the cops! Now this time, let's get it right. And remind me to get a lawyer who'll help me win a case for once. "Davidson and Associates?" "Davidson and Associates?" That's wrong. It should read "Knowledge Adventure," not "Davidson and Associates." [Logo Guy] Oops! [Logo Guy] How's this, boss? Almost there, Moon Guy. All we need to do is replace 1995 with 1998 and we're on Easy Street. Well said, Sam. And I'm glad you've come to your senses about us. Are you convinced now that it's no good to hate us just because we're different from you? LH Michael, LH Michelle and Beulah, you know it and I know it, but what would God think of me now? I'm sure He'd forgive you. And I forgive you too, Sam. I was that way once, but things are different now. They sure are. [Logo Guy] I'll get the shield corrected. [Sam] Well, not just yet, Logo Guy. I've been through a lot of hell today and I can use a little rest. Let's take the rest of the day off. [Mike] I agree with you, Sam. Are you coming, Mary? [Mary] I'm coming, Mike. [Anna] And I'm glad to see you've wised up about LH Michael and LH Michelle, Sam. [Sam] I agree, Anna. I've certainly learned my lesson. Let's head for the bar. The drinks are on me. All right, let's get this show on the road. Roll camera. Cue the logo. Logo Guy! You called me Sam? I didn't call you Sam. I'm Sam, you're the Logo Guy. I addressed you with my question, Sam. Just joking. Do you know what you just logo into the frame? [Logo Guy] You mean this? Yes, that. It's supposed to be the Knowledge Adventure logo, not "That's all Folks!" from Looney Tunes. If you want it done right, YOU do it! I'm quitting! Logo Guy, you come back here! Leave him alone, Sam. LH Michelle and I can handle the logo. All right, LH Michael. Anyone can be better than that dime-a-dozen bum. He's not a dime-a-dozen bum, Sam. Red Lobster? Who's a Red Lobster? A seafood restaurant? Yes. I agree. I'll bet that's what the Logo Guy thinks of Sam. And after Sam fired him, that Logo Guy still thinks Sam's a Red Lobster. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's not that funny, you two. Besides, I didn't fire him. He quit. Moe's Southwest Grill? Do they mean "Moe's?" That's the name of one of those restaurants from years ago. Restaurants? Sounds like a classical music drama set in the shower. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Restaurants are for ***-Wipes. That's what Microsoft Mike is, was and always will be, no matter how many times he denies it. He can't run away from what he is. Hahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Take it easy, Mike. He's only kidding. Stay cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum coming on now. No no no no no no no no dammit dammit dammit dammit! Microsoft Sam, how many times do I have to tell you? I am not a *** ***! I never was one, nor will I ever be one and I want you to cease and desist calling me a liar every time I deny being an ***! You hear me? Sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Mike? I'm okay, Mary. Jeez Louise, Mike! Why must you get so upset over something as trivial as name-calling? See, Mike? Sam admitted it was trivial. Good. Let's get the logo right. [Speakonia Male 2] Qdoba. I'd like to open an account here. Where do I see the teller? [Speakonia Male 3] There's no teller here. This is First National Pictures, not Qdoba. Anybody know where the Logo Guy is? I haven't the foggiest idea, Sam. If I know the Logo Guy, he probably got a job at the Qdoba. I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled a bank job. Hahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Smokey Bones? I never heard of them. Don't worry, Mary. You know the old saying: "And the last shall be first." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Alvy Adair, FBI. Do you have a man reported missing who answers to the name "Logo Guy?" Yes. The Logo Guy says he quit, but I turned down his resignation. Therefore, he's playing hooky from work. We have no criminal record on him, so we referred your case to the CIA. The CIA? Cedric Shmendrick, CIA. We have found the missing man known as the Logo Guy and have returned him to you. Do you wish to press charges? He's my employee. I'll handle him. All right, he's yours. Sam, why didn't you accept my resignation? Because, Logo Guy, you didn't submit it to me in writing. That's why I had the FBI and the CIA coming after you. And also because you're a dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! You are too a dime-a-dozen bum! [Logo Guy] I am not! [Sam] You are too! [Logo Guy] I am NOT!! [Sam] You are TOO!! [Logo Guy] I AM NOT!!! [Sam] YOU ARE TOO!!! Will you two please stop fighting!! Shut up, ***! [Mike] I am not an *** and don't ever call me a liar for denying ever being one! You tell him, Microsoft Mike! Don't be a mutineer, Logo Guy! [Logo Guy] Mutineer, huh? Well, try this on for size, you slave- driving control freak! FU? What's FU? They should have put a MANCHU on the logo as well. Then it would be "FU MANCHU!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! LOGO GUY!!! YOU NOODGE! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF? [Logo Guy] Only what's on the logo: F-U! YOU DON'T SAY "F-U" TO YOUR BOSS! THAT'S INSUBORDINATION! GET ME THE KNOWLEDGE ADVENTURE LOGO NOW, OR I'LL SEND YOU TO SATAN'S KINGDOM! YOU HEAR ME? KNOWLEDGE ADVENTURE! NOT F-U, MOE'S SOUTHWEST GRILL OR RED LOBSTER!! KNOWLEDGE ADVENTURE!! NOW!!! [Logo Guy] All right, Microsoft Sam! You want the Knowledge Adventure logo, you got the Knowledge Adventure logo! Here it is! [CRASH!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam. That Logo Guy! We'll have to get Sam to the hospital, Anna. And I'll be at his side. I don't want to lose him. I want that dime-a-dozen bum hanged to the nearest tree! Logo Guy, you have a visitor to see you. I'll be glad to see a human face. Logo Guy, it's me. Beulah. Beulah! Am I glad to see you! I've sprung you, Logo Guy. I'll take you home. [Logo Guy] How's Sam? I hope I didn't destroy him when I threw that Knowledge Adventure logo at him. [Beulah] He's doing fine. Anna called me from the hospital to say that Sam's dropping the charges against you if you apologize to him. [Logo Guy] Good. Let's go to the hospital so I can apologize to him. Hey, Logo Guy! You called, Sam? Did we just get a different version? I thought they'd look brighter. Good thinking, my boy. Looks like that Logo Guy's jumped the gun. I agree. He sent the "Looney Tunes" title in a Knowledge Adventure ident. Frankie and Hopsalot meets Bugs Bunny. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ease up on the Logo Guy, Anna. He's trying to do good after being sprung from jail. I understand, Sam. Let's give him a chance. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Logo Guy, you've done it again! The caption ahead of the logo! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Logo Guy. But I think Beulah's right--- it's very funny! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That joke is so old. Well? Well what? Where's the 1998? I think something's fishy here. I agree with you, LH Michelle, but give the poor boy some slack. Remember, he's trying to make his own way in the world. You tell her, Sam. [Speakonia Male 2] Jimmy John's? [Speakonia Male 3] Must be a new kind of birthday present for the younger set. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! All right, Logo Guy! Are you trying to make an *** out of me? You said get the logo in before the captions. That's right, but I meant getting the logo in first. Then the captions appearing should read "Knowledge Adventure" and "Discover. Learn. Excel." Do you understand me? Roger Wilco. [Sam] I wish he'd call me by my proper name. LOGO GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Logo Guy! Do you work the commercial plug for restaurants? I should say not, Sam. Then why the hell did you put the Carvel logo up when this is supposed to be Davidson and Associates? Microsoft Sam! Please do not be too rough on the Logo Guy! You know I'm the one who bailed him out of jail after he hit you with the logo! If you abuse him, you'll feel my wrath! Understand me? You tell him, Beulah! You keep out of this, you ***! And you'd better stop dating him if you know what's good for you, Fatso! Listen, Sam! The Logo Guy and I love each other and I want you to stop objecting to it! And never call me "Fatso" again! All right, all right! I know when I'm licked. But you and the Logo Guy better toe the line, or else! Remember who's in charge here. TGI Fridays. An american restaurant. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I had another dream about restaurants. It wasn't as frightning as the ones before. Bruce Cockburn, 1980. This is not TGI Fridays; this is Davidson and Associates. Either you put "Knowledge Adventure" up, capeesh? [Logo Guy] Picky, picky, picky. Ruby Tuesday? I'd say Frankie and Hopsalot would bring on The Rolling Stones as a special guest if an American restaurant hadn't ***. The Rolling Stones is not dead. The story they planted in the tabloids a couple of years ago was just a hoax. LOGO GUY!!! Holy Schneikees, Sam! I don't know who's been giving me the wrong captions, but it's not my *** fault, you slave-driving control freak! ONE MORE INSUBORDINATE COMMENT LIKE THAT AND OUT YOU GO!! PERMANENTLY!! YOU HEAR ME? Take it easy, Logo Guy. Sam's just having a bad day. Don't let it bother you. Relax. Keep your cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum is coming on. No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap!! I just got out of jail and now you're threatening to throw me back in!! I don't have to take this *** from *** like you, and if you fire me, I'll kill myself!! You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Logo Guy? I'm okay, Beulah. If you two can put aside this sympathy, we've got a picture to start. I know exactly what to do, Sam. Oh no! No! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [Bawling] Why? Why? Why? That Logo guy's ruined me! I'm ruined! RUINED!! There, there, Sam. It's not the end of the world. You're right, Anna. This isn't the end of the world... BUT IT'S THE END OF THE LOGO GUY'S CAREER!! LOGO GUY, YO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OU'RE FIRED! OUT YOU GO! OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT!! Oh no you don't, Microsoft Sam! You re-hire my boyfriend right now! Never! You stay away from that dime-a-dozen bum forever! You hear me? Stay away from him forever! That's the last straw, Microsoft Sam! You're becoming too much of a tyrant for all of us! [Beulah] Out you go! [ZOOM!] [CRASH!] [Sam] This is mutiny! I'm calling the police! How's Sam doing? Just fine, Anna. He'll be back in a matter of days. I hope he'll be in a good mood when he returns. He will be. Let's get on with the picture. [BUZZER] Uh-oh! The titles are out of order. Looks like we have the rest of the day to ourselves. Who could have screwed up the titles like that? I haven't the foggiest idea, Mike. I think I know who it was. Sam rigged the system so it wouldn't work right until he returns. Let's all take the rest of the day off. [Sam] This is Microsoft Sam with a confession. I've always been a perfectionist. I'm sorry for the way I acted and for trying to break Beulah and the Logo Guy up. The Logo Guy and Beulah are not mutineers, and the Logo Guy is re-hired... ...at least for the time being. Sam? Sam? Has anybody seen Sam? He's lecturing the Logo Guy. Something about Sam's recent psychiatric treatment. I'm all right now. I just get so pissed off over the least little things. Ready, Logo Guy? Ready, Sam. [Sam] Roll it! Wahlburgers? I can see it now: Eleanor and Casey Cat meet this fast food restaurant. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What does Wahlburgers have to do with JumpStart? Nothing that I know of. Waffle House. Looks like we're in for a spell of bad weather. He'd better start building his ark and bringing all the restaurants in. Waffle House! Hahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! If he got a section of a circle, it would be Waffle House. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Speakonia Male 2] Johnny Rockets. [Speakonia Male 3] Restaurant meet Pierre the Bear and Kisha Koala. Oh noes! It's the V of Doom! Get it outta here! Calm down, Sam. You know the Logo Guy has no intention of scaring you to death. LOGO GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Logo Guy! Are you trying to scare me to death? I'm doing nothing of the kind! He's only human, Sam. Shut up, you ***! [Mike] Stop calling me an ***! You tell him, Mike! Don't defend a guy who's an out-and-out liar, you ***! [Mary] Stop calling me a ***! You and Mike accept the truth and be done with it! He's an *** and you're a ***! You hear me? Accept it! It's the truth! Truth truth truth truth truth! Stay calm, Mary. Sam's just being delusional. Keep your cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum coming on. Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Microsoft Sam, you know I'm not a *** and Mike's not an ***! Stop deluding yourself into thinking it's the truth when it isn't! You hear me? You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!! [BOOM!!] Mary! Are you all right? I hope you're not too shaken up. I'm okay. It's just that Sam's delusions just *** me off. I'm sorry, Mary, but that's just the way I am. I understand, Sam. Let her recover before you say anything more to her. If you don't mind, Sam, I'd like to get this Knowledge Adventure logo started. Go to it, Logo Guy! Oh noes! Not the B-Backwards N-D Mask of Guo Jiang! No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Microsoft Sam, I've come for your soul! You'll never take me alive! Never! If you want Sam, you'll have to get me first! Get away, interferer, or you'll get the pain I'm going to give Sam! That's far enough, Mask of Guo Jiang! Now you're going to get yours! Take that! [BOOM!!] Did you see that, Abby? Anna knocked the B-Backwards N-D Mask of Guo Jiang out with laser beams from her eyes! Well, that's one less scary logo to worry about! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Anna] You have nothing to worry about, Sam. The Mask will never bother you again. [Sam] That's a relief. Eat'n Park? Does Eat'n Park work for Davidson and Associates? No. "Erutnevda Egdelwonk?" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You got Knowledge Adventure spelled backwards! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Uh-oh! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Logo Guy. Let's try it again. "L-E-C-X-E N-R-A-E-L R-E-V-O-C-S-I-D?" That Logo Guy's working with mirrors again. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh noes! Not again! Give me another chance, Sam! Well... all right. You talked me into it. Oops! I forgot to put the words of Looney Tunes. Well, isn't that rich! He got the logo right and the "That's all Folks!" and he finds that Sam forgot to bring the words of Looney Tunes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey Logo Guy, whatta you say we get a bite to eat for lunch? Great idea, Beulah. The tab's on me. [Anna] Beulah has the right idea. It's almost lunch time, Sam. Wanna come with me? [Sam] I'm with you, Anna. [Mike] Are you coming along, Mary? [Mary] Lead the way, Mike. As long as the Logo Guy's buying for all of us. [Logo Guy] Oh crotch! Places, everybody! Quiet on the set! We need to get this Knowledge Adventure logo right this time or Mr. Davidson will be furious! I am furious yellow. Not "curious," Logo Guy... "furious." He means Mr. Davidson will be very angry. And you wouldn't like him when he's angry. Because when Mr. Davidson is angry, heads usually roll. I've never seen a person's head roll. I never hope to see one. But you know what's at stake here. You'd rather see one than be one. Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Well, I might as well get this Knowledge Adventure logo started up. Is that the usual Knowledge Adventure logo? All I know is that Sam said to bring the logo in here. Yes, but it's the wrong Knowledge Adventure logo. You said, Abby. It's supposed to be the one from 1998, not 1994. Look, Sam, a Knowledge Adventure logo is a Knowledge Adventure logo. If you want to get technical... I see your point, Logo Guy. Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! What's so damn funny? What you said a while ago. "I am furious yellow!" Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [Announcer] You can be sure... ...if it's Westinghouse. Westinghouse. They used to make great appliances years ago. Speak for yourself, LH Michael. I grew up in a General Electric family myself. LOGO GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Logo Guy! What did I tell you about commerical plugs in an ident? Next time you do that, I'm telling Mr. Davidson on you! Sorry about that. I didn't know he was watching. LOGO GUY, YOU'RE FIRED!!! Fired!? Fired!? You can't do this to me, Sam! I'm filing a wrongful termination lawsuit against you! [Sam] It won't do you any good, Logo Guy! I'll tell Mr. Davidson your ouster is justified! [Sam] Get out and stay out! [ZOOM] [CRASH!] Microsoft Sam! Are you out of what's left of your brains? Bring the Logo Guy back here now! Never! And that's final! Don't you dare upset Beulah, Sam! You know she loves the Logo Guy. Besides, who's going to operate the logo? Anybody can do better than that dime-a-dozen bum! [Speakonia Male 2] Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. Do you realize you're making Mr. Davidson angry at you for firing the Logo Guy without cause? [Speakonia Male 3] We can't operate the logo as effectively as he can. [Sam] Just do it! [Speakonia Male 3] Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! This isn't Aladdin's Eatery. Mr. Davidson will have a royal fit if he saw this in a JumpStart game! Get it right! Microsoft Anna speaking. who? Yes, he's here. It's for you, Sam. All right, what do you want? Who? Mr. Davidson? Bring back the Logo Guy? But he keeps messing up the Knowledge Adventure Ident! Don't you realize he keeps making an *** out of me? What? You wouldn't! Oh, you would. Okay, I'll do it. What did he say, Sam? Mr. Davidson says if I don't re-hire the Logo Guy, he'll come over here and nail me to the Knowledge Adventure logo. So, just bring him back. Yeah, Sam. There's no sense in hating him. They're right, Sam. No sense getting worked up over it. Remain calm. Uh-oh! Tantrum in five, four, three, two, one... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP! I NEVER GET MY WAY AROUND HERE ANYMORE WITH THE BIG BOSS ON MY *** FOR FIRING THE LOGO GUY! WELL I SAY THE LOGO GUY'S A DIME-A-DOZEN BUM! YOU HEAR ME, MR. DAVIDSON? HE'S A BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM!! [BOOM!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? I'm okay. I just had to put my two cents in somehow. [Anna] There, there, Sam. I'll go and get the Logo Guy for you. Do you want to continue trying to get the Knowledge Adventure logo done right? You bet I do! Oh noes! Not the Klasky-Csupo Robot! He's even worse than that B-Backwards-N-D Mask of Guo Jiang! No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Well, here we go again. Time to save Sam from yet another scary logo. Get away, interferer! Sam is mine and you can't have him! Stay away, you harlot! That is an insult! I am not a harlot! For this you're gonna get it! Take that! [BOOM!!] Thanks, Anna. You've saved my life again. You're welcome, Sam. It's a special power I acquired after I was abducted by aliens a few years ago. Anna was abducted by aliens and they gave her the power to fry out scary logos with her eyes? I didn't know that! Logo Guy! You're back! I missed you! I missed you too. Right now I have a job to do. Oops! Methinks I goofed again! Youthinks right, Logo Guy. However, I won't punish you this time because Mr. Davidson would impale me on the logo if I did. Sheesh! If he did that to you, I'd get worse treatment. I don't think so. He's just making sure Sam knows who's in charge. I couldn't have said it better. Mr. Davidson says don't worry about what happened during Sam's tantrum. He'll pay for the damage... ...out of Sam's salary. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Cheapskate! [BUZZER] Holy Schneikees! Look at the time! Five minutes before clocking-out time and we still haven't gotten it right. If we don't get the Knowledge Adventure logo right, Mr. Davidson says he'll take no prisoners! That means we only have one more chance! You said it, Logo Guy! All right! We did it right! And with only two minutes to spare. See, Sam? I told you I'd get it right one of these days. [Anna] I knew we'd do it! I love you, Sam! [Sam] I love you too, Anna! [Beulah] It sure feels good knowing we've finally done something right. [Abby] I agree, Beulah. You know that old saying: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." [Logo Guy] To think it took us 28 episodes to get this Knowledge Adventure logo right. [Mike] This calls for a celebration. [Mary] I agree. The biggest wrap party in the history of show biz. [Sam] With the Logo Guy buying every round of drinks for the whole gang! Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [Logo Guy] Oh crotch!