The Party Games/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "The Party Games".
== ==
(The Party Games are about to start at the stadium. Poppy is the host.)
Poppy: (Through the megaphone) Morning, fun fans, and welcome to the annual Party Games! (Cooper waves at the audience, jumps on a bench, and lands on a mat with dots. Biggie throws a beanbag at a board. A creature pops out and eats it.)
Biggie: (Putting his fists in the air) Yaaaay! (A red female Glitter Troll, a light purple male Glitter Troll, a yellow male Troll, Satin and Chenille are running on the track in slow-motion. DJ Suki plays music and the competitors play musical chairs.)
All: Yay! (The yellow male Troll fails to sit in a chair.)
Troll #1: Oh.
Glitter Troll #1: (Holding a cupcake) Here you go.
Troll #1: (gasps) Ooh!
Poppy: I’m your host, Queen Poppy, joined by Party Games first-timer Branch!  (She imitates the crowd cheering.)
Branch: (Through the microphone) Thanks for having me, Poppy. I’m excited to see who wins.
Poppy: (Imitating a buzzer) Nobody wins, Branch. The games are about having a good time. So, instead of keeping score, we track how much fun the teams spread on the Fun Meter! (She shows the Fun Meter as it goes up to green. The audience can be heard cheering.) The tournament doesn’t end till the meter hits its peak ‘cause that’s when… (She imitates a trumpet fanfare. Branch falls off his chair.) … everybody wins!
Branch: You’re gonna be doing those sounds all day, aren’t you?
Poppy: Ding, ding, ding! That’s right! (She gasps and sees Guy Diamond appearing.) Ah-ooga! Ah-ooga! Look who’s coming to the arena! (Guy Diamond combs his hair.) It’s the Champion of Fun himself, Guy Diamond! (The audience cheers for Guy Diamond. He then uses hair to hit a brick out of a brick wall and it flies back to him.)
Guy Diamond: Hyah!
Poppy: Blammo!
All: Diamond! Diamond! Diamond! Diamond! (The Fun Meter goes up to yellow.)
Guy Diamond: Look out, Trolls! Someone just dropped a joy bomb on the court. (He gives Biggie a high-five.) Better call 91-fun! (He gives the red female Glitter Troll a high-five.) Oh, yeah! Champion of Fun in the hizzy! (He sits down on a bench to rest.)
Smidge: All right, way to give ‘em fun out there, champ. (She wraps a white towel around Guy Diamond’s arms.) Stay loose.
Guy Diamond: Thanks, Smidge. Got to refuel. Hit me with those Party Game nutrients.
Smidge: (Picking up a chip) On it. Seven-layer dip. (She gives Guy Diamond some dip.) Punch? (She sprays some punch into Guy Diamond’s mouth and he spits it out into a bucket.)
Guy Diamond: Ooh! I feel great, Smidge. It’s been my lifelong dream to lead the game to a full meter and go down as the most fun Troll in history. And today that dream comes true. (A red Glitter Troll named Archer Pastry appears.)
Archer: It sure will, Guy! (He smiles and shows his weird teeth. He then moves closer to Guy Diamond.)
Guy Diamond: Uh… Thanks, pal. Whenever I need a compliment, I can always count on… Actually, I-I don’t know who you are.
Archer: (Shaking Guy Diamond’s hand) Archer Pastry. Huge fan. Huge fan!
Smidge: Archer’s joining our team. He’s subbing for Harper while she recovers from the “croquet accident.” (We go to the past where Harper hits her ball against a bar and bounces back.)
Past Smidge: Nice reflexes! High-five! (She gives Harper a High-five, causing most of her bones to break. Her screaming can be heard. We then go back to the present.)
Smidge: (sighs) Should’ve never used old righty.
Archer: And hey, full disclosure, I’m just a rookie, but I’ll sure do my best not to let you down.
Guy Diamond: That’s the spirit. You go, Troll. (Archer smiles.) No, seriously, go. It’s your turn.
Archer: Oh! Don’t want to be that Troll. (He chuckles and walks away.)
Guy Diamond: Archer Pastry, eh? Can’t believe I’ve never met him before. He’s so nice.
Archer: (Waving) Miss you, guys!
Smidge: Yeah. A little too nice. Which I can live with. Just wish he had more Party Game experience.
Guy Diamond: Ah, don’t sweat that. Not wen the Champion of Fun’s around to make up the difference. (He hits Smidge in the arm.) Uh? Uh? Uh? (He and Smidge start hitting each other.) Uh? Uh? Uh? Uh? Uh?
Smidge: Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh?
Poppy: And now back to the silver team with Archer Pastry! (Archer spins, does a cartwheel, and kicks several bricks into the air. The audience is heard gasping.)
Smidge and Guy Diamond: Huh? (The bricks land on the pile and form into a fun shape. The audience claps and cheers. Poppy imitates and alarm blaring.)
Poppy: Sound the alarm, folks! (Two female Trolls hold up a poster with a picture of Archer.)
Guy Diamond: Oh, dear.
Poppy: Newcomer Archer Pastry just made the most fun move I have ever seen! (The Fun Meter goes up to red.) (She shakes Branch. Archer gives Biggie, Chenille, and Poppy a high-five. Branch watches Poppy’s chair spinning and grunts. Guy Diamond moans in fear.)
Smidge: (Waving at Guy Diamond) Guy? Guy? Uh-o. That’s the “I feel threatened by a young upstart” stare. I know it well.
Guy Diamond: Wha- Who, me? No.
Smidge: Good, ‘cause you’re still the most fun Troll of all time. That was just beginner’s luck.
Guy Diamond: Yeah. Beginner’s luck. Which is great for him, even though it most certainly won’t happen again. (He, Smidge, and Archer play the puzzle event.)
Poppy: The timed puzzle event is under way, and Guy Diamond is sizzling! (Guy Diamond puts some pieces on very fast.)
Guy Diamond: I got the top edge! (As the audience cheers, he and Smidge high-five.)
Archer: (Picking up many puzzle pieces) And I’ve got the rest! (He throws the puzzle pieces and the picture is a yellow Troll hanging out with Cloud Guy. Next up is the Guess and Draw.)
Poppy: And now the ever-popular Guess and Draw. (Guy Diamond is drawing.)
Smidge: It’s a pod!
Guy Diamond: Yeah! (Archer is next. He draws very fast and shows a picture of a beach.)
Smidge: A purfle tree blowing in the wind at sunset?
Guy Diamond: (Pulling his hair) Ah!
All: Archer! Archer! Archer! Archer! (The Fun Meter is now up to pink.)
Guy Diamond: He’s… he’s so fun.
Smidge: Yeah, a little too fun! But what are you gonna do? He’s still our teammate.
Guy Diamond: But what if he wasn’t our teammate? (Soon, Smidge and Archer are near some javelin poles.)
Poppy: Spirits are soaring as the silver team attempts the next event javelin the tail on the Cooper.
Cooper: Huh? (Smidge gets ready to throw. She also has a blindfold on.) Oops, sorry! I’ll move. (He moves and reveals a wooden Cooper on the target. Smidge throws her javelin pole at the target and it is very close to the wooden Cooper.)
Poppy: What a throw! (Just Archer is about to throw his javelin pole, Guy Diamond calls out.)
Guy Diamond: Wait, wait. Before you go, Archer, guess who I ran into. Harper! (He pushes a wheelchair with Harper on it. She is covered in casts. She falls off, but Guy Diamond puts her back up.)
Harper: Hey, team! You can’t tell, but I’m waving.
Guy Diamond: She says she feels good enough to play!
Harper: I did?
Guy Diamond: Isn’t that great news?
Archer: (gasps) It’s a Party Game miracle!
Guy Diamond: Sure is! Aw, but you know what, though? The person replacing her has to step down. Oh, who was that again?
Archer: It was me, Guy!
Guy Diamond: Archer?! Not you! Rats! This is so disappointing! I’M NOT GONNA RAISE SUCH A STINK ABOUT IT! ANGER SOUNDS!!! (He kneels down.)
Archer: No, no, don’t. I’m just glad Harper’s all better. Go have fun, team!
Guy Diamond: Oh, we will! Now, Harper’s turn. (He gives the javelin pole to Harper.)
Poppy: In a shocking turn of events, Harper’s back to play for the silver team. (The crowd murmurs. Harper struggles to walk.)
Smidge: Guy, I-I’m starting to think Harper’s actually not ready.
Guy Diamond: What makes you say that? (Harper tries to throw her pole, but falls. A red male Troll and orange female Troll rush to help her. The Fun Meter goes down to yellow.) She’s just got to warm up. (He picks up Harper’s pole.)
Smidge: Or you know, let all her bones set. (Guy Diamond throws the pole at the target. It lands very close to the wooden Cooper.)
Bella: (Holding up a sign with the number 10) YEAH!
Poppy: Clackety, clackety, clackety! A tremendous throw by Guy Diamond!
Branch: Zip, zap, zow! That was terrible.
Guy Diamond: Yaaaaaay! (The Fun Meter goes back up to red.) See? The Champion of Fun is back! (Archer throws his pole at the target and breaks Guy Diamond’s pole. The Fun Meter goes up to purple.)
Poppy: And an even better throw by Archer… (Guy Diamond gasps) … who now plays for the red team!
Guy Diamond: Archer?! B-but how is he still in the games?! (Archer gives Biggie and Cooper a high-five.)
Archer: Hey, Guy! Isn’t it crazy?! Turns out the red team also had a player that got injured!
Smidge: Hm? (We go to the past to where a blue male Troll is bobbing for candy corn.)
Troll #2: Yeah!
Past Smidge: Nice bobbing! High-five! (She gives the Troll a high-five and most of his bones break. Then we go back to the present.)
Smidge: Should’ve never used old lefty.
Archer: Anyway, they asked me to join. Isn’t that a hoot? (laughs) See you at the relay! (Guy Diamond growls angrily.)
Poppy: With the meter ready to peak, this might just be the last event! (She imitates mariachi music.) The eggy-spoony relay! Funners, on your marks. Spoons set! (Guy Diamond growls at Archer again.)
Archer: Huge fan! (A blue female Trolls blows a party horn and the relay starts. Satin falls and her egg cracks because Chenille is not moving. Instead, she is rubbing her nails.)
Poppy: Guy Diamond has an early lead! (Guy Diamond is struggling to keep his balance.) But watch out; here comes Archer! (Archer runs ahead of Guy Diamond.)
Archer: Here you go, Cooper! Teamwork forever!
Cooper: If you say so, red Guy Diamond! (Archer gives the spoon to him.)
Poppy: A perfect handoff from Archer!
Branch: He’s built up quite a lead. It would take a miracle for anyone to catch him now.
Guy Diamond: Step aside, Harper! I got this! (He runs past Harper without giving her the spoon.)
Harper: But it’s a team relay! (Cooper reaches Biggie.)
Cooper: It’s all you, Biggie!
Guy Diamond: Smidge! If you want me to keep going, say, “What?”
Smidge: What?
Guy Diamond: (Passing Smidge without giving her the spoon) You got it!
Smidge: No… he… didn’t! (The music slows down as Biggie gets closer to the finish line.)
Guy Diamond: (In slow-motion) NO! (Just before Biggie reaches the finish line, he does a glitter fart to give him a boost.) I did it! I did it! (He jumps and does glitter farts.) I’m the most fun Troll of all time! (The Fun Meter goes down to blue.) I… What? (The crowd murmurs.) I don’t understand. I was so fun. (He turns around to see the players angry at him.
Poppy: Foghorn. (Guy Diamond drops his egg. It cracks near his feet.) It looks like Guy forgot the first rule of the Party Games. There’s no I in “fun.”
Guy Diamond: Sorry, team. I really messed up.
Smidge: Oh, that’s OK.
Harper: Yeah! You can’t tell, but I’m giving you a thumbs-up.
Guy Diamond: What do you say? One last game of charades?
Harper and Smidge: Oh, yeah!
Smidge: High-five, team!
Harper: Ah.
Smidge: Oh, right. Bad idea.
Guy Diamond: Charades it is, then. But I won’t be the one acting out the clues.
Smidge: But you’re the best at charades, champ.
Guy Diamond: Eh, maybe. But am I the most fun?
Harper: Huh?
Poppy: With the Meter at a low, it’s gonna take a stellar charades performance to jump-start the fun, and first-up, we have… (Harper struggles to walk.) … Harper? (The crowd murmurs again. Harper takes out a card and struggles to move.)
Smidge: Oh, my Guh.
Harper: You guys are never gonna guess this. I can barely move.
Guy Diamond: No, no, no. You’re doing great. It’s clearly a Puffalo eating a birthday cake! (He hits Smidge in the arm.) Mm? Mm?
Smidge: Wha- Oh, no. It’s a Puffalo giving birth to a birthday cake!
Harper: (laughs) Not even close! (The audience laughs and the Fun Meter goes up to read.)
Smidge: It’s a mushroom in a bad mood! (The other players laugh.)
Guy Diamond: Wait, it’s a duck with a death wish.
Cooper: A funky chicken doing ballet! (The audience continues to laugh.)
Guy Diamond: It’s a carrot!
Poppy: A fun-loving ring-tailed lemur!
Branch: A Norse teenager with progressive views riding a dragon?! (He and Poppy continue to laugh.)
All: Harper! Harper! Harper! Harper! Harper! (Guy Diamond huddles up with Archer.) The Fun Meter goes up to violet.)
Branch: And the Fun Meter is full! Games over! (The Fun Meter explodes in many butterflies.) BOOM! Pew! Pew! Pew! (Poppy imitates an alarm as the crowd cheers.) Ah-ooga! Ah-ooga! (He and Poppy laugh.)
Smidge: We did it, Guy!
Guy Diamond: Whoo!
Smidge: High-five! (She gives a high-five on both of Guy Diamond’s hands and most of his bones break.)
Guy Diamond: Aah!
Smidge: (While floating in midair) Oh, my Guh.
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