The Thing Inside of Your Head

If you are reading this...
I will help you.
Your situation is dire, but I will help you.
Inside of your skull, pressed against brain and skull, there is a bug. It is spiderlike, in appearance, with long black legs and a mouth designed to snip and tear. How does it get there? Insect bites, contaminated by the eggs of the creature. These tiny, almost microscopic eggs travel into your bloodstream and, eventually, end up in your cerebral fluid. There it will hatch, feeding off of your cerebral fluids and all the other eggs, until it is large enough to survive the trip into your skull, where it will begin to feed upon your brain itself. The creature injects a natural sedative, which normally dulls the pain completely, however, this sedative is not always reliable. The following pain is what we often classify as "headaches". Those who unfortunately have a natural immunity to the sedative suffer from chronic "headaches", typically of the cluster or migraine variety. Do not be fooled by such diagnosis: the pain you feel is the bug slowly chewing away at the flesh of your brain.
Now, you may be asking yourself, well, if this bug really does exist, how have no doctors ever found it? Surely it must have been discovered by now. The bug is excellent at hiding, whether it be from surgery or scans. It has a knack for appearing as a benign mass, or a blurry part of the scan, or just simply not being there. 
However, it is ALWAYS there. Unbeknownst to mankind, every living human on Earth has one of these parasites slowly feeding away at their brain, causing memory loss and impaired functions as a person ages. Sometimes, the bug gets greedy. It eats too much too fast, causing what we call strokes, or eats too much for too long, causing Alzheimers. Sometimes, it floods your brain with so much sedative that it overloads the nerves and receptors in your brain, causing that oh-so deadly seizure. People with epilepsy aren't wired differently, they simply just got a defective bug.
And how do I know all this? Because I've studied these bugs for years of my life, ever since I carved my own skull open and reached through the tissue of my brain to pull out the shiny black bugger itself. I can't see out of my left eye now, but I assure you, it was worth every bit of it.
I've helped those people, I swear I have. Even if they didn't want it, I knew what was best for them. Even if I had to hold them down kicking and screaming, I ripped the bugs out of their heads. The bugs had to get out, they had to, or they would have died. I did what was best for them, even if they didn't all survive, I DID WHAT WAS BEST FOR THEM. I HELPED THEM. I SAVED THEM.
The media brands me a murderer, a sadistic killer, a monster to fear. I am a savior. I will free us of the bugs, I will.
909-555-2231.
The next time you get a headache, call me.
I will save you too.
Category:Animals
Category:Mental Illness