COLD❄BLOOD/Incubus Eyes/The Awkward Picnic

The Awkward Picnic is the series premiere of the Japanese anime Incubus Eyes, written by lead writer Athena Panacea. When semi-amnesiac protagonist Silver Zin accepts an invitation to a private picnic with celebrity Valerie Heartgold, things quickly go south when they're joined by an unwanted guest. According to Hawkins, the episode's supposed to establish the motives for the series' most important characters and serve as an introduction to the COLD❄BLOOD universe.
==Transcript==
As the screen fades from black, we get a glimpse at the outside of what appears to be a gloomy, dank prison within the steel dome of the aloft New Naxaz City. Airborne transportation vehicles zoom about at lightning speeds as the sound of shackles can be faintly heard, rustling louder as the camera zooms inside the prison's dirty main hall. We see Silver Zin struggling with his shackles and the ball-and-chains around his ankles, trying his best to try and break free from his constraints, to no avail.
:Silver: Hmph, maybe I should be learning to control myself.
Silver rattles the shackles on his wrists.
:Silver: Investing less time in stealing junk food would be wise... nah, I just gotta learn to be stealthier. Where's the fun in obeying the l-
Silver immediately shuts up when he notices a masked woman dressed in nature-inspired armor walk by his prison cell, who looked down at him.
:Silver: Oh, uhh... [smiling] Hey there hot stuff, how much longer 'til a week's passed? You know I just gotta have that fresh air to breathe.
:Nature Warrior: Ugh, haven't you learned your lesson yet, Silver? For the eighth time now, when will you learn that stealing's wrong?
:Silver: You're not answering my question, miss.
Silver rolls his head around as if to roll his blank eyes.
:Silver: But I suppose I learned my lesson, "Nature Warrior"... can I go now?
The Nature Warrior looked doubtful that Silver learned anything at all, but rather than wasting her time replying she slipped him a carefully crafted pink envelope. He snatched it, looking curious.
:Silver: Oh, what's this?
:Nature Warrior: Valerie Heartgold asked me to deliver this top-secret letter to you in person, as she knows you've gotten yourself involved in another heist. 
The Nature Warrior walks over to a panel next to his prison cell.
:Nature Warrior: You know, as usual.
Before Silver had a chance to reply, the Nature Warrior pressed a special button on the panel, releasing Silver from his shackles and floor traps, allowing him to stand up again for the first time in days. He stumbled a little as he got up.
:Nature Warrior: I'm not allowed to view what's in the letter, but I know that it's apparently important enough to warrant your temporary release.
:Silver: Hehe, I wasn't expecting this at all.
Silver slowly slits open the letter with his sharp index nail.
:Silver: So unlike the authorities to be so generous to me... there we go.
:Valerie [note]: "Dear Silver, I'm inviting you to a private picnic at the Stenographer Garden! Haven't seen you in ages, come on down alone and we'll have a great time. You only have six hours to hang out with me before you have to serve the rest of your sentence, so hurry along or you'll miss your chance. I'm ready when you are, little brother!"''
:Silver: What a sweetheart, as always...
:Nature Warrior: You only have six hours before you're supposed to head back here and serve the rest of your time, so get moving.
The Nature Warrior yanks his hand, pulling him away from his cell.
:Nature Warrior: If you're more than five minutes late upon return, I'm going to double your sentence, you rotten little thief!
:Silver: Okay jeez, you really didn't need to be so rough.
Silver shrugs as he begins to walk out on his own.
:Silver: Lighten up a bit, life's too short to be this hotheaded all the time.
:Nature Warrior: Hmmmphhh...
The Nature Warrior blows steam from her nose.
:"Nature Warrior': Fuck off, please.
Silver laughs to himself as he dashes his way out of the prison, out of the Nature Warrior's sight.
:Nature Warrior: Alright, now it's time for lunch break. I better get Crymsia Rose her favorite beer, or she's going to kill me... or I'm gonna kill me...
----
10 minutes later...
Silver runs into the Stenographer Garden, a well-kempt city park in New Naxaz City. He then heads up a big grassy hill, running between marble pillars and scaling over lime-green statues resembling Stenographer Stones. Silver looks just a bit helpless and lost, realizing Valerie never gave him directions on where to go.
:Silver: Ah, crap.
He continues to look around for any signs of Valerie when he hears a loud whistling noise. Turning around, he sees Valerie laying down on a checkered cloth spread across the grass, catching the rays of the artificial sun above. She was wearing her usual over-the-top garments.
:Valerie: Hey Silver, I'm over here!
Valerie waves to him, attracting his attention.
:Valerie: Don't get lost now!
:Silver: VALERIE!
Silver rushes over to her, laughing as he drops down onto the cloth to smother her in a big hug. Valerie returns the hug, grinning wide.
:Valerie: It's been so long since I've last seen you, Silver!
Valerie rubs his shoulders before letting go, looking a bit perky. Like usual.
:Valerie: You doing alright?
:Silver: Yeah, I'm doing alright.
Silver lays on his side, looking up at his "sister".
:Silver: I just got caught undertaking another big heist. Can you believe they caught me stealing a dozen bags of Takis? The nerve of them to tighten up security.
:Valerie: Oh, Silver, you never change.
Both of them giggle a little bit as Valerie pulls a basket out from behind her, intriguing Silver.
:Silver: So, what're we having for lunch, Val?
:Valerie: Hmmmmm... [pulls out two locked containers of fried tarantula and rattlesnake wine] Usually I'd have piping hot Valerian Spaghetti on hand, but I decided to go with my backup plan when I learned my girlfriend finished the rest of it off last night!
:Silver: Mmmm, I like what I'm seeing here...
Silver snickers as he takes his container.
:Silver: Not like you to resort to fried tarantula and rattlesnake wine, but I'm really not complaining. Love the choice picks you've made!
:Valerie: I just thought you'd find it interesting if I gave you something I know you really like... I mean, I didn't really get this stuff for me...
Valerie feels her face scrunch up as she opens her lid.
:Valerie: I got myself the same thing because I was... uhh... curious about what makes you like such rancid foods so much. I'm wondering if this was a mistake.
:Silver: Mhmmm... [teasingly] Good luck, buttercup.
Silver immediately slices his tarantula up into itty bitty pieces with his metal knife as Valerie slowly poked at hers. She looked rather uninterested in eating what she made for herself as she turned her attention to Silver.
:Valerie: So I do need to talk to you a little bit about what's going on in the satellite, if that's alright with you.
Valerie grimaces as she wedges her knife into her tarantula.
:Valerie: There's some serious matters you need to know about.
:Silver: Go ahead, Val.
Silver shoves a big piece of tarantula into his mouth.
:Silver: I need stuff to think about in prison anyways, it's really so booooring in there... you're not even allowed to watch Fox News in there!
:Valerie: Uhhh... [tilting her head] I thought you hated Fox News?
:Silver: I do, I'd just rather watch that than be subjected to the torture that is doing absolutely nothing. Or the torture that is playing Go Fish with the Methademic. Anyway, go on.
:Valerie: I think you'd be most interested in hearing that nobody's seen or heard from Mallory in three weeks now.
Valerie continues to poke at her food.
:Valerie: She hasn't left any threatening messages lately, no victims have come forth to the authorities within that time, and her church has been closed for just as long as she's been gone. We don't know where she could possibly be, so I advise you be careful out where with Mallory on the loose.
:Silver: Damn, she must have moved her headquarters around again.
:'Silver slurps up a tarantula eye, much to Valerie's disgust.
:Silver: Can't blame her, she must be feeling a lot of pressure to hide from the authorities after people have exposed her for some terrible things.
:Valerie: We can't sympathize for her Silver, think about how much damage she's done already. And that damage is getting worse and worse... I fear for Syi's safety.
Valerie wipes the sweat off her face from the scorching heat emerging from the artificial sun.
:Valerie: Mallory being loose is bad news, we could be in deep trouble even right now.
:Silver: Oh I understand that much Val, I was just making a simple observation.
Silver takes a long sip of his rattlesnake wine, which was branded "HARPER" on the front label. Specifically, the HARPER brand of edible toxins.
:Silver: Kinda sucks we don't know where she's gone to though. Anything else?
:Valerie: Well... [sighs] Okay, this isn't really as important, but I'm having a little bit of trouble in my relationship with Syi. I feel like she's trying to distance herself from me?
Silver raises an eyebrow as he takes a much longer sip of his drink.
:Silver: Huh, now that you mention it, she hasn't sent me anything on Risquord in what feels like a week. Errmmm...
Silver scratches his head.
:Silver: Maybe she just needs some alone time, Val.
:Valerie: I don't feel like that's the case, she still comes to me sometimes when she feels down. But it's just been getting rarer and rarer lately.
Valerie reluctantly lifts a piece of tarantula meat up with her fork.
:Silver: Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's not your fault. [shrugs a bit] She would tell you if something's off, right?
:Valerie: Right... I suppose you're right.
Valerie just looks down as she slowly munches down on the tarantula meat. She smiles a little, trying to hold back what she really thinks of the dish.
:Valerie: D-Delicious... [cups her mouth] hrk... mff... nice...
:Silver: Nah, I doubt you really think that, you coward.
Silver evilly cackles in his Marilyn Manson-sque voice as Valerie spits it out into a nearby bush.
:Silver: Hah! There's no shame in not liking it Val, we're all made differently. You should've made yourself some salmon tacos instead.
:Valerie: I tried, that's what really matters, right? [smiles just a little] I have one more thing to talk to you about, but to be honest, I don't think there's anything you can really do about it.
:Silver: Won't hurt to tell me, at least.
Valerie pauses a little bit and looks away, with some pink visible on her cheeks. She then turns back to Silver, looking a little worried.
:Valerie: Sorry if this is going to weird you out, but do I look fat to you!?
Silver looks taken aback.
:Silver: W...What? [tilts his head] No, you don't look fat, why would I ever think you look so? If anything, you look more like an hourgla-
Silver cuts himself off as he notices something rustle in a nearby bush- he looked particularly intrigued by it. Valerie was going to say something in response to him before he notices what Silver is staring at.
:Silver: Uh, Valerie, did you hear that?
:Valerie: ...Hm?
Valerie scratches her scalp.
:Valerie: I didn't hear a thing, and with these kinds of ears you would think I'd be able to hear anything around me... What's up, Silver?
:Silver: I saw something rustle in that bush over there...
Silver slithers his way over to the bush, immediately parting it with his sharp nails. He doesn't see anything there except for a squirrel, which chitters before running off.
:Silver: Interesting.
Silver turns his head around.
:Silver: It's just a squir- shit!
Hanging upside-down from the tree above him was none other than Mallory Zin, her cheshire smile fearlessly on display as her face was right in front of his. Silver backed away a little bit, gulping.
:Mallory: Oh I'm sorry you pastel bastard, did I scare you?
Mallory cackles delightfully as Silver looks really crept out.
:Mallory: Private picnic, huh? Delightful, what's the occasion?
:Silver: Leave me alone, Mallory!
Silver attempts to run around her, only for her to slide down the tree branch.
:Silver: Get out of my way, Mallory!
:Mallory: I really want you to think twice before you say that again.
Mallory dangles a blue-haired scarecrow's body down from the tree, her mouth taped up considerably, her whole body shaking as she tries to break free.
:Mallory: Or you can kiss her precious life goodbye!
:Silver: Hey wait, hold on a second! [folds his arms] How the hell did you get here with her undetected?
:Mallory: It's a complicated setup, but I haven't heard from you in ages, so I called her to tell me just what you were up to!
Mallory smirks to herself as she keeps a cold hand firmly on Syi's neck.
:Mallory: If she didn't comply with telling me your whereabouts, I would have killed Valerie! And if she told Valerie anything, I would have killed her! And now if you don't let me join your picnic and ask some interesting questions, I'll kill both of you!
Silver looked horrified, much to Mallory's visible delight.
:Mallory: Poor Syinara had to work so hard, trying to keep an eye on what you were up to without spoiling the beans to anyone but me so both her life and Valerie's could be spared... [smirks] You wouldn't let all that work she did go to waste, no? I recommend not betraying her.
:Silver: You really are a piece of shit, Mallory.
Silver breathes through his nose, sighing.
:Silver: Fine.
:Mallory: Good. Now, don't tell Valerie that Syi's here, or I'll kill all three of you.
Mallory pulls out her Mind Weaver and points it square at his forehead.
:Mallory: And as you know, I can do it in a single swipe.
:Silver: I get it. Fine, come along, it's not like I have much choice.
:Mallory: Great!
Mallory claps her hands together.
:Mallory: We have ourselves a deal... how swell of you to actually bother cooperating with me, how unlike y-
:Silver: Shut up please and let's just get this over with.
Mallory rolls her head around, considering you can't see her rolling her eyes, before dropping down from the tree. If you want to call it that- she actually fell down onto her face, with Silver trying to stifle in his laughter as she swept the dust off her robes. She then looks up at Syi.
:Mallory: Listen here. If you move off of that tree branch, I'm going to kill your girlfriend. Alright? Alright. Don't fucking move.
Mallory turns to Silver, smirking.
:Mallory: Now come on little brother, let's go up the hill!
:Silver: Please just call me Silver...
Soon enough, Silver and Mallory make it back to the picnic site, with Valerie almost dropping her rattlesnake wine upon seeing the two Zins holding each other's hands (somewhat reluctantly on Silver's part). She blinked, like she weren't believing what she was seeing.
:Valerie: Criminy, what took you so long Silver?
Valerie glances up at Mallory's face, which looks much darker in the shadow of the sunlight.
:Valerie: And what in the world are you doing here, asshole?
:Mallory: Oh why, I just wanted to have a lovely picnic with you and Silver! [shrugs] C'mon Valerie, loosen up a bit- life's too short to be so reluctant!
:Silver: I had no choice, please forgive me sister for this.
Silver looks worriedly at her.
:Silver: You know I wouldn't intentionally bring Ma-
:Mallory: I'm your sister, Silver! [taps his chest] Don't you forget it!
Valerie shook her head, sighing as she gave her fried tarantula container to Mallory. Silver shifts back a bit, trying to stay out of Mallory's reach.
:Valerie: You can eat it Mal, I've lost my appetite entirely.
Valerie folds her arms, looking suspiciously at Silver.
:Valerie: What happened over there, Silver?
:Silver: Well... I... uhh...
Mallory glares at Silver, causing him to swallow his breath.
:Mallory: It's none of your concern Valerie, but I promise everything will be good if you just don't ask any questions about why I'm here!
Mallory snatches Valerie's food.
:Mallory': What is this?
:Valerie: It's... fried tarantula. [smirks] Do you think you can eat it, Mallory?
:Mallory: Tch, I wouldn't stoop to Silver's level.
Mallory simply drops Valerie's dish onto the grass.
:Mallory: How about I ask some questions for either of you to answer?
:Valerie: I don't know if I wan-
Silver quickly cups Valerie's mouth as Mallory's eyebrows furrowed.
:Silver: Yeah, sure, fire ahead, whatever.
Valerie looks visibly pissed at Silver, but Silver gave her a worried glance, knowing the consequences if things didn't go according to plan for Mallory.
:Mallory: Excellent, glad you both seem to agree. [snickers] My dear brother Silver, where is the satellite's reactor silo?
:Silver: ...The reactor silo? I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Mallory. Haven't been on this satellite for all that long nor would I have a reason to care about what's inside the satellite itself.
:Mallory: What!?
Mallory looks really baffled.
:Mallory: You never went on one of those cross-satellite tours!? You're lying, right?
:Silver: Going on tour sounds like a waste of time unless you're stalking your favorite bands around. Have you gone on one of those to- hey what're you doing!?
Mallory's hand was on his chest. She eerily grinned a bit before grimacing.
:Mallory: I was wondering if you were lying, judging by your blood pace. [takes her hand off] I suppose you're being serious... anyway, I would go on one of those tours myself, but you know they'd arrest me in a heartbeat.
Mallory turns around to face Valerie, grinning wide at her.
:Mallory: I attempted to embarrass Silver into giving me the instructions to the reactor silo, but I suppose you'll have to do! Where the hell is the reactor silo?
:Valerie: Hm, haven't you ever tried digging underneath the Valco Vortex building? [looks at her] I don't know why you're annoyed by Silver not having gone touring when you haven't gone touring yourself, apparently...
:Mallory: Don't question me unless you want her t- I mean... hm.
Mallory thinks to herself for a moment.
:Mallory: Hm, underneath the Valco Vortex you say? Interesting... but if I discover you've been lying to me, there'll be something a fate worse than death for you!
:Valerie: Why would I lie to you right now?
Valerie holds her hands up.
:Valerie: There is a reactor silo down there! If you don't believe me, you're going to have go discover the answers for yourself somewhere else.
Mallory looks at them both in scorn, but clears her throat and prepares herself for her next question. Silver was ravenously finishing up the rest of his fried tarantula meal as Valerie looked slightly calmer. She might have smirked a little bit too.
:Mallory: Alright, but you know there'll be consequences for what'll happen if I found out you've been lying to me. You realize you're messing with fate, correct?
:Valerie: W-Wait, I c-changed my mind now, Mallory!
Valerie places on a fake stammer.
:Valerie: It's a-at the back of the s-satellite!
:Mallory: Don't attempt to hide the truth from me, Valerie! [hisses angrily] I know it's below the Valco Vortex now! Okay, now here's a second question, and this one's for Silver: where the hell is Mania Metallurgy?
Silver smirked a little bit. Then Valerie realized he was really up to something.
:Silver: She might have picked up a boyfriend, she was trying to hide that info from you... [sneering] Maybe you're just not good enough for her- you must be making her so sad. Boohoo!
:Mallory: That stupid purple sewer rat, I'll show her who's not good enough for who...
Mallory stamps her foot against the ground before pausing.
:Mallory: Wait, how the hell do you have access to this information?
:Silver: Oh, I personally know her AND her boyfriend, and they're not currently in the satellite right now.
Silver cackles a bit.
:Silver: Maybe if you pleaded hard enough, she'd return to your shitty living conditions and your rude henchmen! What other questions do you have for us, Mallory?
:Mallory: I've been waiting weeks to figure out where you've been hiding out at...
Mallory stares him hard in the eyes.
:Mallory: Where do you live, little brother? Your life is on the line, don't you forget that ever while you're talking to me, Silver.
Valerie opened her mouth as if to object for her step-brother's safety, but Silver had other ideas.
:Silver: I live in a well right here in the Stenographer Garden, the well's labelled number sixty-six.
Silver looks up into her eyes, beaming.
:Silver: If you knock on the door later, you'll get a response from a hot roommate of mine!
Mallory was stunned at their confidence, but she attempted to hide it with a smirk as she got up.
:Mallory: Well, that was embarrassing. [laughs loudly] But you two idiots just gave me all the information I needed! Now I'm sure I can rule this satellite with sheer confidence... thank you ever so much. Here's your prize- cherish her while I proceed to overtake the world!
Mallory snickers, snapping her fingers to make Syi's limp body drop before them. She then warps away, with both Silver and Valerie staring at the limp scarecrow.
:Silver: Damn, she could have just taken Syinara with her and messed everything up...
Silver sighs, looking relieved.
:Silver: Surprised she let us keep her.
Valerie looked furious upon seeing her girlfriend in such a weak state, attempting to shake her awake.
:Valerie: Syi!! Syinara!!
Valerie flashes a menacing look at Silver.
:Valerie: What the fuck happened back there? 
:Silver: Let's face it, Valerie.
Silver sits down.
:Sliver: If I told you she was captive back there, she would have killed all three of us. Apparently, she was using Syi as a vessel to eavesdrop on us.
:Valerie: O-oh. [glumly] That's really a new low for that disgrace.
Valerie rips the tape off of Syinara's wooden face, much to her relief.
:Syinara: I'm sorry...
Syinara sniffs into her arm.
:Syinara: I couldn't tell you anything because Mallory would kill you if I said anything, and she would kill me if I didn't comply with her... or was it the other way around? I don't really remember anymore...
:Valerie: It's okay honey, I'm here for you now...
Valerie holds her closely.
:Valerie: Thanks for trying to help me protect Syi while making sure the satellite's people were safe too. You really are my brother.
:Silver: It's no problem, sorry that I was quiet about what happened back there. [shivers] That purple pied piper really gives me the creeps!
:Syinara: M-me too. [shivers, holding them both closely] L-Let's just... g-go home before it gets too dark. I get really anxious when it's dark.
:Valerie: Honestly yeah, I think the whole Mallory thing butchered my appetite for the next few days, haha. Not even the food.
Valerie pockets her wine bottle.
:Valerie: Syi, are you mad at me? You really made me worried over the last week.
:Syinara: N-no... 
Syi winces, sniffling.
:Syinara: I wanted to tell you everything, but I didn't want to risk either of our lives... or Silver's, for that matter. You should put some kind of security on the phonelines so Mallory doesn't sneak her voice inside my head again...
:Valerie: Yeah, yeah, I'll try and do something about that when we go back home.
:Syinara: Okay. [smiles a little] Can you pick me up please?
Valerie smiles and stands up, squeezing her girlfriend's hand and picking her up. Syi had trouble standing on her own two feet, but she smiled when she gained her balance moments later.
:Valerie: I suppose this picnic lasted like 26 minutes, so you still have plenty of time to kill, Silver.
Valerie pulls up her brother by the hand.
:Valerie: Why not come along with me? We can all watch a film together... maybe two!
:Silver: Ooh, maybe that new vaporwave film that just came out?
Silver wags his finger around.
:Silver: Maybe we should try out that new Supertzar Competition series?
:Valerie: ...Ew, do you really watch anything having that lady in it? Have some dignity for once in your life, Silver!
:Silver: Oh trust me, it's much more hilarious to watch than it is actually intriguing. You're one to talk, anyway...
:Syinara: Ladies, l-ladies, let's decide what we want to do when we g-get to the house. [smiles] We can fight about whatever when we get there.
All three of them laugh, nodding in agreement as they begin to head back into town. Silver smirked, typing "when the door opens, swing hard" on his tablet.
:Valerie: What're you doing, Silver?
:Silver: Something nice~
Valerie nods as they begin to take off together.
:Silver: Think you can keep me home and bail me out again, Val?
:Valerie: Anything for my awesome little brother!
----
20 minutes later...
Mallory knocks on Silver's door, having climbed all the way to the bottom of the well.
:Mallory: I'd be amazed if this was Silver's home, I can't believe he lives in such a dump.
Mallory straightens out her purple hair.
:Mallory: If I'm going to raid his home, it better look nice...
The door then swings open. Before Mallory knew it, her mouth contorts into the shape of an O as she takes a powerful punch to the face. She swings about and crashes into the ground, unconscious.
:Pierce: Man that felt good.
Pierce grins to himself, calling the police.
:Pierce: Hey guys, Pierce Hazel here, and I finally know Mallory's whereabouts at long last. I'll drag her outside and witness her sweet arrest. Hehe!
Pierce hangs up, starting to use his psychic powers to drag Mallory up the wall.
:Pierce: G-god, I don't know what she's been eating, but maybe she needs to lose some weight...
:Mallory: I heard that, you insufferable little punk... when I get back up, I... I... I'll raid the reactor silo and I'll destroy it with my bare hands... just you wait...
:Pierce: Reactor silo? What's a reactor silo?
Mallory grunts in displeasure as Pierce drags her outside.
THE END
==Other information==
===Characters===
*Silver Zin (debut)
*Valerie Heartgold (debut)
*Syinara Wyne (debut)
*Nature Warrior (debut)
*Pierce Hazel (debut)
*Mallory Zin (debut)
===Settings===
*The Jailhouse, New Naxaz City
*The Stenographer Garden, New Naxaz City
Category:COLD❄BLOOD
Category:Subpages