Little Woof

This is the twenty-fourth episode of The SBFW Chronicles.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with Woof on the couch, staring at a picture of EDP’s dong)
Woof: HAHAHAHAHAAH THIS IS HILARIOUS OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAH- (starts coughing) God, I think I have COVID.
Dan: I think you need help.
Woof: Speak for yourself.
(Dan is grasping an anime body pillow)
Dan: No, I don’t think I will.
Elmo: Yo cousin, how’s it goin’?
Dan: Pretty good. Me and my waifu-
Aaron: CRINGE! CRINGE! CRINGE ALERT! Well at least you’re not 18 yet.
Dan: What, afraid of anime, Aaron?
Aaron: No?
Dan: Good.
Alt: I HATE ANIME!
(Alt’s sudden appearance startles the others)
Dan: Alt, more like alt right, amirite? Up top.
Alt: Fuck you guys, I’m going back to complaining about SpongeBob season 13.
Aaron: Good luck with that, I guess.
(Alt storms out of the room)
Woof: Anyway… LMAOOO HIS DICK THOUGH
Aaron: Woof, I'm surprised I didn't mention this sooner, but you need therapy.
Woof: Relax man, I'm fine. I don't need therapy.
(Aaron shows Woof a picture of Mister Maker)
Woof: YESYESYEYSYEHEHEHS AAAAAAA
Aaron: My point exactly. I'm gonna send you to the best therapist in town. Not that I've ever been to them.
Woof: Gulp.
Aaron: Did you just say gulp?
Woof: Yeah.
Aaron: Just go already. (gives Woof a sheet of paper) Here’s his address.
Woof: (reading out the address) 1234 Loony St? Isn’t that the address Jasbre the Black Duck lives on?
Aaron: Shh! Stop asking questions and just go!
(Aaron shoves Woof out of the house, and Aaron sighs in relief)
Aaron: Now, where were we?
Snow Patrol: Suck my dick.
Aaron: No, I don’t think I will.
(Cut to Woof on 1234 Loony St, looking for the therapist’s house.)
Woof: I hope Jasbre isn’t my therapist…
Jasbre: Did somebody say… therapist?!
Woof: Why yes I did, black duck.
Jasbre: I AM NOT A BLACK DUCK DLKFJSLKFJSLDFLJDKLFJDK
Woof: Anyway, are you that therapist Aaron sent me here for?
Jasbre: So that’s the guy who made an appointment with me the other minute. Yeah, I guess I am. Come in, come in, and don’t get comfy for very long.
Woof: (gulps)
(Inside Jasbre’s house, several TVs are playing all at once. One of them is playing Looney Tunes, another is playing Weezer, another is playing Meat Puppets, blah blah blah)
Woof: Wow, um… is this the environment I’m going to be therapied in?
Jasbre: First of all, you’re a dingus for thinking that’s a word. Second of all, yes. The constant sounds of Weezer and Looney Tunes keep me at ease.
Woof: Oooooookay then… so, I’m here because I can’t stop laughing at EDP’s dick.
Jasbre: I used to be exactly like you, kid. Except it was with SpongeBob’s.
Woof: Kelpy G’s is way funnier though.
Jasbre: I guess you have a point. You still need help though.
Woof: Why else do you think Aaron forced me here?
Jasbre: Yeah, you’re right. Therapy shall start right now.
Woof: You mean it hasn’t befo-?
Jasbre: Shh, my little Woof. Stop thinking about the pedo’s penis.
Woof: Which one? There’s multiple pedos around here. Mr. Gus, Mr. Renaud, Cosmodore, Pedophile Gaming…
Jasbre: The fat one.
Woof: That doesn’t sound very nice.
Jasbre: Ahem, sorry. The big one.
Woof: Much better.
Jasbre: Now, forget about him.
Woof: Forget about who?
Jasbre: EDP, you dumbass!
Woof: Oh yeah, that guy. Well now that you mentioned him I remember again.
Jasbre: Damn it. I guess we’ll have to take drastic measures to solve your illness.
Woof: Drastic measures such as?
(Cut to Woof on a really tall diving board. Below him is a pool of bacon)
Woof: Did you really have to insult my religion like that?
Jasbre: Oh yeah, wrong pool.
(Jasbre switches the bacon pool with the concrete pool)
Jasbre: Much better. Certain death.
Woof: I wonder if I’ll meet Hitler when I die. Also how is this supposed to help me?
Jasbre: I’ll place a picture of EDP’s… thing… on top of the concrete. You’ll have to use all your willpower not to dive into the concrete.
(Jasbre places the picture on the concrete)
Woof: (starts laughing) STOP IT’S TOO FUNNY!
Jasbre: It’s the only way.
Woof: (keeps laughing) MAKE IT STOP! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAH
(Literally ten minutes later)
Jasbre: (looking at his watch) I could’ve watched a SpongeBob episode with all this time he’s been laughing for. This is why I’m considering retirement.
Woof: Jasbre Retires?
Jasbre: No. Do the thing with the thing, please.
Woof: (looks down) It’s not funny, it’s not funny, it’s not funny.
(Silence)
Woof: Why am I not laughing anymore?
Jasbre: It worked! You’re cured.
Woof: Oh thank god I’m also afraid of heights.
(Woof falls down onto the concrete by accident)
Jasbre: God fucking damn it.
(One hospital trip later)
Aaron: I knew that blasted black duck could cure you.
Woof: And injure me.
Aaron: C’mon man, it was an accident. On the bright side, there’s no more dick laughing from you.
Woof: Oh, I’ve already moved on. Have you seen ProJared’s thingy? It’s even more of a riot! (laughs)
Aaron: N-
(end)
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