Stuff That Goes Bump in the Night/Transcript

===Act One===
(The episode begins with a close-up of a pair of gates as they open. The music playing in the background is Night on Bald Mountain. The screen transitions to a view of a graveyard as ghosts rise from their graves. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, revealing that the ghosts are heading towards a monster that resembles Chernabog from Fantasia, but with a clown's face. A bat flies past the screen, and Babs Bunny can be seen walking in front of the monster. The Monster scares her, and she runs away, screaming. The camera zooms in on the monster, whiz is revealed to be a costumed Buster as he rips the costume off)
Buster: "He he he he. Hiya, Toonsters!" (As he moves his face in closer to the camera) "And welcome to Tiny Toons tribute to spooky stuff!"
(The camera zooms out as Plucky and Hamton can be seen in the background, pushing it away. The camera focuses on Buster as he walks through the forest, with scary eye and mouth silhouettes in between the trees)
Buster: "Tonight, we'll take a look at goblins, ghosts, vampires, ghouls, creatures, mutants,"
(The camera cuts to a view of Buster standing next to his burrow)
Buster: "And other stuff that goes 'Bump' in the night!"
(A Devil walks up to Buster)
Devil: "Bump."
(Buster screams and tries to runs away. However, he falls to pieces and lands inside his burrow. The Devil is revealed to be a costumed Babs, who promptly removes the costume and tosses it aside)
Babs: "Aren't I a devil?"
(The camera zooms in on Babs as she laughs, then the screen fades to black)
====Home Wrecker====
(The title card is shown, which shows the title written on a wrecking ball. Montana Max is standing atop the wrecking ball as it swings into a mailbox with Buster inside. The screen fades to black, then to a view outside Buster's burrow at night as the camera zooms in on it. The screen then transitions to a view inside Buster's Burrow, where Buster is asleep in bed. Two iron pillars can be seen in the background, and a dripping sound can be heard. Two more iron pillars land in front of Buster's bed, then the camera cuts to a frontal view of Buster in bed. Two more iron pillars fall, one behind Buster, and one in front. The camera then cuts to an overhead view, followed by a side view. Buster yawns and stretches, then the camera cuts to a view outside his bed, focusing on him as he sleepwalks, narrowly avoiding more iron pillars. He finds the source of the dripping sound, the sink, and turns the sink off. An iron pillar falls on top of the sink, destroying it, and the camera focuses on Buster as he sleepwalks back to bed and yawns. The camera then cuts to a side view of him in his bed, followed by a zoomed-in view as two flies buzz next to him. The fly inside his ear and awaken him. The camera cuts to a frontal view of his bed as he hits his head to try to get the flies out. The flies fly out of his head, and when he is fully awake, he looks up at the many iron pillars surrounding his bed. The camera cuts to an overhead view of him)
Buster: "Guess I should have gone to rehearsals."
(The camera cuts back to the previous view as another iron pillar falls. Buster runs upwards, then the camera cuts to a view outside his burrow as he stands atop it)
Buster: "Hey, hey, hey!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view, revealing a crane is building a building over Buster's burrow)
Buster: "Stop the music! Hit the brakes! Hold the phone!"
(The camera cuts back to the previous view)
Buster: "What's going on?"
(The camera cuts to a view of Montana Max, who is wearing a hardhat, and focuses on him as he walks towards Buster)
Monty: "Clear out, Bunny! I'm building my summer house right here in Acme Forest!"
(Buster leans downwards at Monty, knocking the hard hat off his head)
Buster: "Summer house? What color is the sky in that little world of yours, Monty?"
(Buster stands back up)
Buster: "This is where I hang."
(Monty leans downwards at Buster as he pulls out a rolled-up piece of paper from his pants pocket)
Monty: "Call my lawyer, rabbit!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Monty as he hands the piece of paper, which is revealed to be the deed to the Acme Forest, to Buster)
Monty: "I own this land now!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Buster looks over the deed)
Monty: "Looks like you're a homeless hare!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Buster. He folds the deed into the shape of a paper airplane, sticks a stick of dynamite in it, and lights the dynamite with a match. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as he holds the deed back in front of Monty and the dynamite explodes in his face)
Buster: "It would take a crane to move me, Monty."
Monty (as he walks away): "Suit yourself, Buster."
(A crane hook appears and picks Buster up by his shirt)
Buster: "Yikes!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Monty at the bottom of the crane)
Monty: "Give the rabbit some flying lessons!"
(The camera moves to the top of the crane as it swings Buster, then cuts to a view of the forest as it tosses him aside. It then moves to the right side of the screen until it reaches Monty, who laughs evilly)
Monty: "All right, back to work!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Monty on the forest path. The moon can be seen in the background as Buster runs up to Monty in a cloud of dust)
Buster: "I'm ba-a-a-ack!"
Monty: "Wanna know something, rabbit?"
(Monty turns around to yell directly at Buster)
Monty: "YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!"
Buster: "Thank you, Monty." (as he reaches offscreen and pulls out a lawn chair) "But I'm still not moving!"
(Buster sets the lawn chair down and sits down on it. A cup with a straw appears and he drinks from it)
Monty (as he walks away): "That's what you think! You are history!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Monty, who is standing next to the crane)
Monty: "Bring it on down!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Buster and zooms out on him as the crane lowers Monty's house on top of him, flattening him. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view as Monty walks onscreen)
Monty: "Oops! Looks like we dropped the house a little too far to the left." (As he turns to face the camera) "Uh-oh. Wait a minute! Where is he?"
(Monty walks offscreen and up to the house)
Monty: "Hey, rabbit! Are you okay?"
(Monty goes inside the house, then peers out of several of its windows)
Monty: "Buster! Buster, where are you?"
(Monty runs outside to the front of his summer house. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of him)
Monty: "Oh, my gosh! What have I done?"
(The camera cuts to a further zoomed-in view as Monty whines)
Monty: "I killed a rabbit! Oh, I'm in big trouble this time!"
(Monty moves in closer to the camera. As he talks, silhouettes of prison bars appear over his face)
Monty: "I could go to prison! Forever!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out side view of Monty's summer house as Monty walks away from it)
Monty: "I'm ruined! I'm doomed!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Monty)
Monty: "I'm…" (He snaps his fingers) "I'm off the hook! No one saw me do it!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view)
Monty: "Ha! They'll never pin it on me! I'm in the clear!"
(Monty goes inside his summer house and shuts the door. The screen fades to black, then to the next scene, which is a zoomed-out side view of Monty's summer house. The camera zooms in on the house, then the screen transitions to a view inside as the camera moves from the left side of the screen, until it reaches the couch. Monty jumps onto the couch, then the camera zooms in on him as he picks up his television remote)
Monty: "Ha ha! Buster's deader than a doornail!"
(The camera cuts to an opposing view as Monty uses the remote to turn on the TV. Buster appears on the TV screen, with a glowing, sparkling outline around him. He giggles, then Monty screams and hides under the couch cushion. Monty then reaches out from under the couch cushion with his remote in his hand and uses it to turn off the TV. The camera cuts to a view of the couch cushion as Monty emerges from it, then to a zoomed-out view as Monty runs out as a crash is heard. Monty runs out of the living room, then the camera cuts to a view of a door as Monty opens it and peers out, then to a zoomed-in view as he turns on the light switch)
Monty: "Who?"
(The camera cuts to a view of Monty's open refrigerator. A beverage bottle is spilt and is dripping liquid, and rabbit-shaped footprints of the liquid can be seen on the floor)
Monty (heard offscreen): "R-r-rabbit footprints?"
(The camera cuts to a view of Monty, focusing on him as he follows the footprints)
Monty: "That's impossible! I saw the house fall on him!
(Monty continues following the footprints, walking up the wall and onto the ceiling, until he reaches Buster)
Buster: "Uh, not to be derivative, but… Eh, what's down, doc!"
(Monty looks up (or down from his point of view) and falls down, screaming. The camera cuts to an overhead view of a compactor as Monty falls into it, then to a side view as it spits out a compacted Monty. It then focuses on the compacted Monty as he runs away, screaming, followed by a view of a doorway as Monty, who is back to normal, walks into it)
'Monty: "Buster's a ghost!"
(Buster's ears appear behind Monty)
Monty: "He's come back!"
(Monty walks away, revealing the rest of Buster behind him. As Monty talks, Buster follows him)
Monty: "It can't be!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Monty as he stops, not noticing Buster behind him)
Monty: "I must have imagined it. My mind's playing tricks on me. Yeah, that's it!"
(Monty turns around and sees Buster behind him. He screams in fear as he jumps into the air, crashing through several floors of his house. The camera cuts to a view outside his house and focuses on him as he flies into the air. When he stops, he bends over to pray)
Monty: "Please let me hit the pool! Please, please, please, please, please!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Buster in Monty's pool room. He is standing next to a button under a sign that says, POOL DRAIN and he pushes the button. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view as the water in the pool drains and Monty lands in the waterless pool, followed by a view of a flattened Monty as he rises up. He hears music play as musical notes float above his head, ten the camera cuts to a view of Buster playing the harp in Monty's parlor. Monty walks up to him)
Monty: "Buster! Aaah! But you're… d-d-dead!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Buster as he continues playing the harp)
Buster: "That's right, Monty! I'm gonna live right here with you, for the rest of my afterlife!"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of Buster as he laughs. It then cuts to a view of the doorway, focusing on Monty as he runs in, carrying a big wooden box. He places the box over Buster, then walks offscreen and comes back, tying the box shut with a rope. He climbs on top of the box, then the camera cuts to a view of him atop the box as he hammers it shut. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view as Monty runs away, then backs up a cement mixer, which pours cement over the box. It then cuts back to the previous view as the cement mixer finishes, then to the view before as Monty molds the cement into the shape of the box. The cement hardens)
Monty: "Ha!"
(Monty runs offscreen, then comes back with a luggage cart, which he uses to lift the cement-encased box. he runs offscreen, then the camera cuts to a view outside his house, focusing on him as he pushes the luggage cart across the forest path. It then cuts to a view of a dock above some water as Monty runs towards the dock, pushing the luggage cart, followed by a zoomed-in view as he dumps the luggage cart and the cement-encased box into the water)
Monty: "Phew! So much for Buster's ghost!"
(Monty turns around to run back to his summer house. The camera cuts to a view of the forest path, focusing on Monty as he runs towards his summer house, with a look of determination on his face. he goes inside, then shuts the door. The camera cuts to a view of a shocked Monty inside the house and zooms in on him, then it cuts to Buster, who is inside the house, completely unharmed)
Buster: "Don't stop now, Monty! You were just getting funny!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Monty, who screams as he stares at Buster in shock, then jumps into the air. It then cuts to a view of his body under a crystal chandelier, followed by a view of his head in the floor of his bedroom. Stars circle above his head)
Monty: "This isn't happening! It's a bad dream, isn't it?"
(The camera zooms out as Monty pulls himself out of the hole and runs offscreen. It then cuts to a view of his closet as he tosses various items from it)
Monty: "Aha!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Monty and zooms in on him as he pulls out his ACME Ghost Sucker vacuum)
Monty: "My trusty ACME Ghost Sucker! Should have thought of this before; it'll suck up anything!"
(The camera cuts to a view of the stairs as Monty runs down them, then to a view of Buster drinking from a cup. Monty runs up to him)
Monty: "All right, rabbit spook! Say good-bye!"
(Buster runs away as Monty presses the switch. His vacuum literally roars into life and immediately starts sucking up Monty's summer house, as Monty tries to stop it. The camera cuts to a view outside Monty's summer house as it starts to rumble, then to a view inside as Monty tries to stop his vacuum, which sucks up various items. It then cuts to a view outside as the vacuum sucks up the summer house, followed by a view of Buster and Monty together as the vacuum dies down. The camera focuses on Monty as he cries while running to Buster's other side)
Monty: "My new home! It's…"
Buster: "Gone with the wind, Monty!" (As he brushes off the outline) "Well, I won't be needing this disguise anymore!"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of Monty)
Monty: "Oh, you stupid rabbit!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view an zooms in on Monty as he throws a tantrum)
Monty: "I hate you! I always hated you! I dumped the house on you so you wouldn't…"
(As Monty continues his tantrum, the camera cuts to a view of Buster, who is sitting in a lawn chair)
Buster: "You know, I just can't stand to hear a rich kid cry."
(Buster reaches offscreen, pulls out a pair of headphones, and puts them on. He then turns up the volume so he doesn't have to hear Monty)
Monty: "Aaah, you're history, pal! Aaah, don't let me ever…"
(Monty screams as the screen fades to black, ending Act One)
===Act Two===
(The second act begins with a view of some reeds late at night. Night on Bald Mountain plays as the wind blows some leaves and a mysterious silhouette, which the camera focuses on. The leaves and the silhouette travel across the screen until the silhouette dives into Babs' Burrow. The camera then cuts to a view inside Babs' Burrow, focusing on a silhouette of a hand as it travels past a picture of Babs' family, until it reaches Babs in bed, who is surrounded by other scary silhouettes)
Babs: "When darkness falls, your imagination can play tricks on you,"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Babs, zooming in on her as her heart beats)
Babs: "But the only thing that's really going 'bump' in the night is your heart!"
(Babs puts her hands over her heart as it continues beating. The camera then cuts to a view of what looks like a ghost, zooming out on it. Babs, who is dressed in her nightshirt, appears onscreen)
Babs: "Take this hideous ghost, for instance."
(Babs turns on the light as the camera moves over to the fan. Babs walks up to the fan and turns it off)
Babs: "Actually, it's just my bathrobe caught in a draft."
(The camera cuts to a view of what looks like a monstrous alien)
Babs (heard offscreen): "And this monstrous alien here,"
(Babs turns on the light, revealing it is her dresser, with various bottles and a television set atop it)
Babs (heard offscreen): "Just my portable TV."
(The camera cuts to a view of a silhouette of what appears to be a vampire)
Babs (heard offscreen): "And over there, that huge, bloodsucking vampire!"
(Babs walks up to the silhouette and shines a light on it, revealing it really is a vampire)
Babs: "Why, that's just… a huge bloodsucking vampire!"
(The vampire leans towards Babs, who screams and jumps into the air)
Vampire: "Bump!"
(The camera cuts to a view outside Babs' Burrow as she jumps out, screaming, focusing on her as she runs away. It then cuts to an opposing view as she runs down a path, past two trees, followed by a view of the vampire, still in Babs' Burrow. The Vampire then pulls off his mask, revealing himself as a disguised Buster Bunny, who promptly removes the disguise. The camera then cuts to a close-up of him as he pulls out a carrot)
Buster: "Well, turnabout is fair play, Babsy."
(Buster takes a bite out of the carrot)
Buster: "And now, for a tale of true terror," (As he sweats) "We take you to the most horrifying place in all of Acme Acres,"
(The camera cuts to an overhead view of Elmyra's house as the wind blows some leaves past it)
Buster (heard offscreen): "The house of Elmyra!"
(The screen fades to black)
====Fang You Very Much====
(The title card is shown, which shows a silhouette of Count Blood Count's head on bat wings, as well as the silhouette of three smaller bats. The screen fades to black, then to the next scene, which shows the wind blowing some leaves past leafless trees. The camera cuts to a view of the sky as thunder crashes and lightning flashes, then to an overhead view of Elmyra's house as thunder crashes and lightning flashes again. A window is open and hanging out of it are some bed sheets tied together. The camera zooms in on the bed sheets, then the screen transitions to a closer view of them. Behind them is a bush. The camera zooms out on the bush and focuses on the ground as whoever is under there is burrowing. The burrower crashes into a tree, then turns around. The camera then cuts to a view of the driveway as the burrower goes under the hose and the driveway, setting of the sprinkler, which sprays water. The camera cuts to a view of the front yard as the burrower goes past it, then to a view of some bushes as he crashes into them. The burrower emerges, revealing himself as a Scottish Terrier. The Scottish Terrier pants heavily, then looks around)
Scottish Terrier: "Psst. All clear. Let's go, guys!"
(An alarm sounds and the Scottish Terrier's eyes briefly pop out. He then runs out of the bushes and offscreen)
Scottish Terrier: "Aaah! Run for it!"
(The camera cut to a view of the scottish terrier as he runs away, with various other animals following behind, including a Giraffe, Birds, a bear, a Cat with a bandaged chest, and a Mouse. It then cuts to a view of a spotlight, focusing on it as it moves past where the Scottish Terrier burrowed and past the bed sheets hanging over the bush. It then cuts to a view of the bandaged Cat and the Mouse as the spotlight appears over them. They stare in shock and run away. The camera then cuts to a view of the fence as the animals run past it, then to a view of the front of the fence as the Scottish Terrier runs through it, leaving a Scottish Terrier-shaped hole in it. The camera then moves from the left side of the screen to the right, revealing the other animals have made animal-shaped holes in the fence as well. It then cuts to a view of Elmyra's shadow, and moves up to her, revealing she is holding a hockey stick)
Elmyra: "Wait! Don't run away!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Elmyra)
Elmyra: "I have so much more love to give!"
(Elmyra looks around. The camera cuts to a view of the drain pipe and zooms out as a snake emerges from it. He looks at Elmyra in shock, then jumps into the air. The camera focuses on him as he walks away by his head and tail, then cuts to a view of Elmyra in the yard, zooming in on her)
Elmyra: "I don't understand it; why do they always run away? Waaah!" (To the viewers) "Has this ever happened to you?"
(The camera zooms out, then rushes over to the right side of the screen, revealing an ACME Pet of the Month Club truck parked outside Elmyra's house)
Elmyra: "That's why I joined The ACME Pet of the Month Club!"
(The camera moves to the left side of the screen as the Delivery Man carries a box and walks towards Elmyra's house)
Delivery Man: "Delivery for Elmyra."
(The camera cuts to a side view of the Delivery Man as Elmyra walks up to him in excitement)
Elmyra: "Oooh! Goddy goody goody!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Elmyra and the Delivery Man together)
Elmyra: "What is it? A kitty mew-mew? A puppy-wuppy?"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of the Delivery Man)
Delivery Man: "Nope, fresh out. All we have left is a bat."
(The Delivery Man holds the Bat up to the screen. The camera then cuts to a side view of him and Elmyra together)
Elmyra (as she hugs the box): "Oh boy! My very own Batty-Watty to love and hug and squeeze into itty-bitty pieces!"
Delivery Man (as he hands Elmyra a clipboard and a pencil): "Sign here."
(Elmyra signs the paper. The Delivery Man rushes off, then the camera cuts to a view of the truck as it drives away, leaving a smog cloud with a sinister-looking face behind. The camera then cuts to a view of the front of Elmyra's house as she runs in with the box with the bat and closes the door. It then cuts to a view inside the house and zooms out as Elmyra carries the box across the hallway)
Elmyra: "Little Bat, welcome to your new happy home!"
(The camera cuts to a view of some cages, then moves to the right side of the screen as Elmyra carries the box across the hallway. It then cuts to a view of a table as she sets the box down on it and zooms in on her)
Elmyra: "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of Elmyra from inside the box. The Bat is hanging by his feet.)
Elmyra: "Awww! He's asleep! HEY, BAT!"
(Elmyra's scream startles the Bat. The camera cuts to an opposing view as the Bat flies across the box, screaming. When he stops flying, he backs into a corner and pants heavily. Elmyra reaches in)
Elmyra: "Hi!"
(The camera cuts to a view outside the box as Elmyra pulls the Bat out and backs up)
Elmyra: "Don't worry." (As she repeatedly squeezes the bat) "Even if you are funny-looking,"
(The camera cuts to an opposing view)
Elmyra: "I'll still love you and hug you and squeeze you all to bits!"
(The camera cuts back to the previous view as Elmyra continues squeezing the Bat, and zooms out as the Bat pants heavily. Elmyra pushes his tongue back into his mouth, then walks offscreen, pulling him away. The camera then cuts to a view of a dollhouse as Elmyra sets the Bat on a chair and puts a bonnet on him)
Elmyra: "Wait here, I'll get some food!"
(Elmyra walks away. The Bat removes the bonnet and throws it to the floor. The camera cuts to a view of a light switch as he flies up to it)
The Bat: "Turn out that light!"
(The Bat turns off the light switch. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view as The Bat suddenly transforms into Count Blood Count)
Count Blood Count: "Blah blah! As much as I hate to admit it,"
(The camera cuts to a close-up of a framed picture of Elmyra and zooms out on it)
Count Blood Count: "I think she's just my type." (As he puts his fingers in an "O" shape over the picture) "O positive."
(Count Blood Count looks at the camera with a devious grin. The camera then cuts to a view of the hall as Elmyra is seen running down it, carrying a pie)
Elmyra: "Here comes the goodies!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Count Blood Count standing next to the door to hear Elmyra. It then zooms out as he prepares to transform back into a bat)
Count Blood Count: "Just in the 'neck' of time!"
(Count Blood Count transforms into a bat a mere second before Elmyra opens the door. He lunges down at her but ends up eating the pie)
The Bat: "Light! Light!"
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Elmyra and the Bat and zooms in on the latter)
Elmyra: "My, aren't you the hungry one!"
(The bat mumbles incoherently. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view of The Bat and Elmyra together)
Elmyra: "It's not nice to talk with your mouth full, Batsy. Now spit it out!"
(Elmyra jumps up and smacks The Bat on his back, causing him to swallow the pie whole and fall over. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-in view of him as Elmyra leans towards him)
Elmyra: "Oh, you liked it? It was my best mud pie!"
(Elmyra leans back as The Bat turns green and sputters in disgust)
The Bat: "Mud pie?"
(The bat walks away. The camera then cuts to a view outside the bathroom door as he walks inside, then to a view inside the bathroom as The Bat transforms back into Count Blood Count, who is preparing to spit out the mud pie. The camera then cuts to a side view of him as he sticks out his tongue, pours a glass of water into his mouth, and spits it out)
Count Blood Count: "Oooh, she's making me see red… my favorite color."
(Count Blood Count rushes offscreen. The camera cuts to a view of the hallway, focusing on him as he flies across it, until he reaches the railing)
Elmyra (heard offscreen): "Oh, Batsy?
(The camera cuts to an overhead view of the living room as Count Blood Count looks down at Elmyra, who is looking for her pet bat, unaware it's him in his bat form. It then cuts to a view of a chair as she looks under it, moving up as she looks under the cushion sitting atop it. It then zooms in on her)
Elmyra: "Where are you?"
(The camera cuts to a view of Count Blood Count as he runs his fingers across the rail, with a devious look on his face, as Elmyra is talking. It then cuts to a zoomed-in view of him)
Elmyra (heard offscreen): "I wanna hug you and cuddle you!"
Count Blood Count: "Yuck! It's about time this half-'pint' got the 'point'!"
(Count Blood Count moves his head up close to the camera. It now has red marks in it as well as skulls where the pupils should be. The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra walking down the hall and zooms in on her as she turns around to look inside a mouse hole. It then cuts to a zoomed-in view of the mouse hole)
Elmyra: "I know you're in there!"
(The camera cuts to a view inside the mouse hole. A mouse resembling Hubie or Bertie is inside, with a nervous look on his face. He then looks at the camera in confusion, which then cuts to a view of Count Blood Count)
Count Blood Count: "I think I'll have that drink now."
(Count Blood Count swoops down. The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra)
Elmyra: "Oh, I get it! You wanna play hide and seek."
(Elmyra walks towards the mouse hole. The camera cuts to a view of Count Blood Count and focuses on him as he gets closer to Elmyra, then it cuts to a view of Elmyra)
Elmyra: "I'll count to 100, okay?"
(The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra's backside and zooms in on it as Count Blood Count's shadow appears over her)
Elmyra (counting really fast): "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 100!"
(Elmyra turns around, covering her eyes with her left hand and holding a lit flashlight in her right hand. The camera cuts to a side view of her as she shines the light on Count Blood Count, causing him to turn back into The Bat)
The Bat: "Light!"
Elmyra (as she gasps and grabs The Bat): "Gotcha!"
(Elmyra shines her flashlight on The Bat, which the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of)
Elmyra (heard offscreen): "You know, you're awfully pale. But I'll fix that!"
(The screen transitions to a view of Elmyra and The Bat sitting in lawn chairs. Elmyra is dressed in a white sun hat, blue sunglasses, a pink bathing suit, and red sandals, and The Bat is tied to his lawn chair, struggling as he tries to break free)
Elmyra: "This is the sun room."
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of The Bat)
The Bat (squeaky voice): "Sun?"
(Elmyra giggles and places a pair of tiny red sunglasses on The Bat)
Elmyra (heard offscreen): "Oh no, you don't! (as she squirts Zinc Oxide on The Bat) "You're getting some nice, healthy sunshine." (as she pinches The Bat's cheeks) "It'll put the color back into those little cheekie-weekies!"
(The camera cuts to a view of the sun lamps and moves to the right side of the screen, stopping when it gets to Elmyra and The Bat. Elmyra turns on one of the sun lamps, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of The Bat as the light shines on him. It briefly cuts to a view of the light of the sun lamps, then to a view of Elmyra, who is holding a tanning mirror)
Elmyra: "Now, doesn't that feel yummy?"
(The camera cuts back to The Bat, who is screaming in pain as he tries to break free, but to no avail. He eventually melts, then the camera cuts to a view of the side of the lawn chair as he slides off it. It then cuts to a view of the floor, which has a crack in one of the tiles, which he goes into, followed by a view of a bucket hanging on a nail in the basement. It moves up, until it reaches a crack in the ceiling, which The Bat falls through. It then cuts to a view of The Bat, focusing on him as he falls into the bucket, followed by various views of the stairs, which the bucket bounces down, until it reaches a rake. The camera moves upwards as the rake breaks one of the supports of the shelf below it, causing a bag with a bowling ball in it, and a sink, to fall over. The camera then cuts to a view of the bucket as the bag with the bowling ball and the sink fall on it, crushing it. The faucet of the sink turns, emitting The Bat from it. A sunburnt Count Blood Count emerges from the sink)
Elmyra (heard offscreen): "Batsy? Scwumptious?"
(The camera cuts to a view of Elmyra standing next to a ping-pong table, holding a paddle in her right hand and wearing a ping-pong hat. As Elmyra calls for The Bat, the camera moves to the right side of the screen)
Elmyra: "Where are you, my little flappity-flap?"
(The camera cuts to a view of the top of the stairs and moves downwards, then cuts to a view of a sunburnt Count Blood Count as he climbs up them wearily)
Count Blood Count: "That does it! Ow! Oh, my sunburn! No more Mr. Nice Blood-sucker! That kid is lunch!" (As he moves his head up close to the camera) "Wait till' she gets a load of me!" (as he pulls his head back and holds his cape close to his head) "Faster than the speed of curse-ed light! She'll never stop me now!"
(Count Blood Count rushes offscreen. The camera then cuts to a view of the stairs, focusing on Count Blood Count as he flies up them, until he reaches the doorway. It then cuts to a view of Elmyra and zooms out on her)
Elmyra: "We're gonna play ping-pong!"
(Count Blood Count appears and Elmyra hits him with her paddle. The camera then focuses on Count Blood Count as he gets flung back, then it cuts back to the doorway at the top of the stairs and moves down as Count Blood Count bounces back down them. The camera then cuts to an opposing view of the bottom of the stairs as he continues bouncing down them, then to a view of an open furnace as he flies into it. The camera moves upwards as he travels through the pipes, screaming in pain, then cuts to an overhead view outside Elmyra's house. It then cuts to a view of a grate as The Bat breaks through it and falls out, then to a view of the ping-pong table from a distance, focusing on The Bat as he lands. He then stares in shock, and the camera cuts to a view of Elmyra, who is now wearing roller skates and a raised hockey mask and holding a hockey stick, focusing on her as she skates across the hall. It then cuts to a side view of her as she lowers the hockey mask, which is revealed to have a smiling face on it, over her face. The camera cuts back to The Bat, focusing on him as he tries to back away, then it cuts to a view of Elmyra's feet as she continues skating across the hall. The camera then cuts back to The Bat as he puts his wings over his head and shakes in fear, then it cuts to a side view of Elmyra, who pulls back the hockey stick. It then cuts back to The Bat as the hockey stick hits him, followed by a view outside Elmyra's house from a distance as a sunburnt Count Blood Count is launched out through the window. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-out view of the neighborhood as Count Blood Count flies past it and into the city, followed by a view of a building as he flies in through the window. The camera moves down to the bottom of the building, revealing a sign near the entrance that says, BLOOD BANK. Several recent donors run out, screaming. The camera then cuts to Elmyra, who is holding a handkerchief and crying, and zooms in on her)
Elmyra: "My batsy-watsy flew away! What am I gonna do?"
(The sound of a horn honking can be heard. The camera then cuts to a view of the source of the honking, the Acme Pet of the Month Club Truck, as the Delivery Man is pushing a luggage cart with a wooden box that says, WERE WOLF)
Delivery Man: "Delivery for Miss Elmyra."
(The camera cuts back to Elmyra)
Elmyra: "Never mind."
(The screen irises out on Elmyra, ending Act Two)
===Act Three===
(The third act begins with a view of a cemetery at night. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, until it reaches what appears to be a vampire. The supposed vampire turns around, revealing he is Buster dressed as a vampire)
Buster: "There are many children of the night, and they make different sounds. Some go…"
(Buster cups his left hand to his left ear. The camera then cuts to a view of an Owl in a tree, focusing on him as he flies away)
Owl: "Hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo."
Buster': "Others go…"
(The owl flies past a wolf, who is perched atop a rock and in from tot the moon)
Wolf: "Awoo!"
(As the Owl flies away, the camera moves to the right side of the screen, until it reaches Buster. A mosquito flies up to him and lands on his finger)
Buster: "And then, there are my little blood brothers,"
(The camera cuts to a view of the Mosquito standing atop Buster's finger)
Buster (heard offscreen): "The mosquitos, who go…"
(The Mosquito buzzes as he flies off Buster's finger, and the camera focuses on him as he flies away. It then cuts back to Buster, who is covering his face with his cape, then briefly moves his face up close to the camera)
Buster: "But other stuff in the night just goes bump."
(The camera zooms out, revealing a Two-headed Monster behind Buster)
Two-headed Monster: "Bump."
Buster (as he turns to face the Two-headed Monster: "Oh, enough, Babs. Rope it in,"
(The camera cuts to a side view of Buster and the Two-headed Monster together)
Buster: "Tie it down, huh? I'm not falling for it again, okay? Just skip it, will you?"
(The camera moves to the right side of the screen as Babs spins out of a burrow)
Babs: "Skip what?"
(Buster looks at Babs in shock. The camera cuts to a view of the Two-headed Monster's backside and zooms out as he looks over the two rabbits)
Buster: "Skip faster than you have ever skipped before."
(Buster grabs Babs and pulls her away. The camera cuts to a view of a hill and zooms out as the Two-headed Monster chases Buster and Babs, then the screen fades to black)
====Easy Biter====
(The title card is shown, which shows The Mosquito standing atop Hamton's butt as Hamton is asleep in bed. The screen fades to black, then to a view of Hamton's mailbox at night. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, past some filthy stalls with flies buzzing around them, until it reaches Hamton's neat-looking house, then it zooms in on it. The camera then cuts to a view inside Hamton's house, revealing that it is sparkly clean both inside and out)
Hamton (heard offscreen): "Mission accomplished!"
(The camera moves to the right side of the screen until it reaches Hamton, who is standing next to his vacuum cleaner in the doorway)
Hamton (as he wipes his head with a handkerchief): "The entire house is spotless!"
(The camera cuts to a view of the hallway, focusing on Hamton as he walks across it, and goes into the bathroom, yawning)
Hamton: "I'm beat!"
(Hamton turns on the light and the sound of his toilet flushing can be heard. The camera continues moving to the left side of the screen as Hamton exits, dressed in his nightshirt, and turns the light off. He then walks towards his bedroom, then the camera cuts to a view inside as he continues walking. It then cuts to a view of him near his bed and zooms out on him as he yawns and stretches)
Hamton: "Time to hit the old hay!"
(Hamton pulls the covers off his bed, then stares in shock. He gasps, ducks, then emerges, looking at his bed through a magnifying glass)
Hamton: "Dust!"
(Hamton ducks back down, then emerges again, this time wearing a gas mask and holding a mini-vacuum. He vacuums his bed, then puts down the mini-vacuum and picks up a container of ACME sanitizer and sprays it over the bed. eventually shrouding the screen in a cloud of dust. He then reaches out with a mini-broom in his hand and uses it to sweep the dust away. When the dust clears, he tosses the mini-broom aside and puts a glove on over his right hand. He runs the finger with the glove over it over the bed, to find no trace of dust left on his bed. He laughs as the camera zooms in on him. The camera then cuts to a view of his bed as he turns off his lamp, removes the glove, and gets under the covers, ready to go to sleep. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, until it reaches the wall, where a shadow resembling a vampire appears over it. It moves further to the right side of the screen, revealing the shadow belongs to The Mosquito. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-in view of the Mosquito, followed by a view of Hamton asleep in bed, snoring. He turns himself over, revealing his exposed butt. The camera zooms in on it, then cuts to a view of The Mosquito, who licks his lips. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view as The Mosquito hits the window repeatedly, trying to get inside, but to no avail, as he pants heavily after several unsuccessful attempts. The camera zooms in on the window as he flies away, then cuts to a view of him outside Hamton's house, focusing on him as he flies to the other side. It then cuts to a view of the step in front of the front door as he lands on it, then crawls to try to squeeze his way under the door, but to no avail. The camera focuses on him as he flies upwards, then cuts to a view of him in front of the front door, focusing on him as he flies up to the mail slot, landing on it, and panting heavily until he falls over through it. The camera then cuts to a view inside and moves downards until it reaches him. He picks himself up and flies away. The camera then cuts to a view through his eyes as he flies across Hamton's living room, then past the hallway, until he reaches Hamton's bedroom. It then cuts to a view of Hamton sleeping as The Mosquito flies over him, then to a side view of Hamton's rear. The camera then moves to the right side of the screen until it reaches the foot of Hamton's bed as the Mosquito lands on it. It then cuts to a view of The Mosquito, who licks his lips, then moves to Hamton's rear. a crosshair appears over it, indicating it is where The Mosquito plans to strike. The camera cuts back to the Mosquito and focuses on him as he flies towards Hamton's rear, then cuts to a view of him as he licks his lips again. It then cuts to a zoomed-out view. Just as the Mosquito is about to bite Hamton's rear, he is inadvertently swatted by Hamton. The camera cuts to a view of him as Hamton inadvertently swats him offscreen, then to a view of him flying, focusing on him as he flies across Hamton's bedroom, until he crashes into a wall and gets his nose stuck in it. He pulls his nose out of the wall, then the camera focuses on him as he bounces across the chair and lands in a jar of powder. He coughs, then the screen transitions to a view of Hamton's rear. The Mosquito flies over Hamton as he turns over, snoring, then The Mosquito lands on Hamton's nose. The camera then cuts to a view of The Mosquito on Hamton's nose, followed by an overhead view of Hamton's head as he continues snoring. The camera then cuts to a close-up of Hamton's eyes as they suddenly open, then to a view of the wall as Hamton emerges in front of it, awakened and preparing to smack the Mosquito. The Mosquito flies out of the way just in time, and Hamton smacks his head instead. The camera then cuts to a view of Hamton's ear as The Mosquito flies inside, then to a view of Hamton's ear canal. It then moves to the right side of the screen, where The Mosquito is hovering over Hamton's ear drum, which is literally shaped like a drum. He then looks at the camera, drooling, with a devious grin on his face. The camera cuts to a view of Hamton asleep in bed, until he is suddenly awakened by The Mosquito playing his ear drum. He jumps into the air and lands in his bed as The Mosquito stops, then The Mosquito starts playing his ear drum again. The Mosquito stops, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as The Mosquito starts playing Hamton's ear drum again. It focuses on Hamton as he bounces across his room, until he lands in his chair, and smacks his head. The camera cuts to a view of The Mosquito inside Hamton's head as he is being bounced around)
The Mosquito: "Ooh! Aaah! Eee! Oh!"
(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton's head as he continues smacking it. Eventually, the mosquito falls out, and the camera cuts to an overhead view of him as he falls, until he lands on the floor. It then cuts to a zoomed-in view of him as he gasps and stares in shock, followed by a view of Hamton with a rolled-up newspaper as he slams it down on him repeatedly. The camera then cuts to a zoomed-in view of Hamton)
Hamton: "Now for some peace and quiet."
(The Mosquito buzzes and Hamton growls in frustration. The camera cuts back to the previous view as Hamton tries to hit the Mosquito with the rolled-up newspaper, missing many times. It then cuts back to the previous view as Hamton sighs in relief and holds up the newspaper, zooming in on the newspaper as The Mosquito emerges from it, then flies away. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as The Mosquito flies down and pokes Hamton in the butt, causing Hamton to run into the camera)
Hamton: "Yowch!"
(Hamton turns around, runs back, and slams his fists on the floor. He then lifts up the back of his shirt to reveal a mosquito bite on his butt. He angrily opens a drawer and pulls out a fly swatter. He runs offscreen, then the camera cuts to a view of the hallway, focusing on him as he chases The Mosquito across it, inadvertently knocking things over in the process. It then cuts to a view of his piggy bank collection, moving from the right side of the screen to the left, until it reaches the doorway. Hamton runs in, and the camera focuses on him as he chases The Mosquito, eventually slipping and breaking through his piggy bank collection, causing pieces and coins to fly everywhere. He then falls off a shelf and the last piggy bank falls over as well. The camera then cuts to a view of Hamton trying to remove the smashed piggy bank from his head, and zooms in on his rear when it faces the camera. The camera then cuts to a view of The Mosquito, who is standing atop a chair, licking his lips, then it cuts back to the previous view as a bullseye suddenly appears on Hamton's rear. It zooms out, then zooms in rapidly as The Mosquito charges into it. A burst of stars fills the screen, and when it disappears, Hamton, having removed the smashed piggy bank, jumps into the air)
Hamton: "Yeouch!"
(The camera focuses on Hamton as he jumps into the air and crashes through the ceiling, leaving a Hamton-shaped hole in it, then it moves down to The Mosquito, who flies offscreen. It then cuts to a view of him, focusing on him as he flies under the table and heads for the door, only to have an angry Hamton smash it down and flatten him. The camera then cuts to a view of the fallen door, moving from the left side of the screen to the right, until it reaches the doorknob, which has a key in the keyhole. The Mosquito pushes the key out and emerges from the keyhole, buzzing as Hamton's shadow appears over him. The camera then cuts to an underhead view of Hamton)
Hamton (as he pulls out a can of bug spray): "Say your prayers, bug!"
(Hamton laughs evilly. The camera cuts to a view of The Mosquito and zooms in on him as he cries and begs for Hamton not to spray him. It then cuts back to Hamton)
Hamton: "You can't buzz your way out of this one, fella."
(The camera cuts back to The Mosquito, who continues crying, then back to Hamton, who at first, looks like he's not going to spray The Mosquito, but then decides not to fall for it)
Hamton: "Nope, my mind's made up!"
(The camera cuts back to The Mosquito as he whimpers and pulls out a wallet with pictures in it. It then cuts to a view of the wallet, moving downwards, past the pictures of The Mosquito's family, then cuts back to Hamton)
Hamton (as he picks up the wallet to look at it): "Golly, I didn't know you had a family." (As The Mosquito flies up to him) "Well, that sort of changes things."
(The camera cuts to a view outside Hamton's front door as he opens it and leads The Mosquito out)
Hamton: "I'll let you go, this time, but I don't ever want to see you in here again! Deal?"
(The camera cuts to a view of The Mosquito, who raises his wing over his head in approval. It then focuses on him as he flies away, then cuts to a view of Hamton outside his house)
Hamton: "So long!"
(Other Mosquitoes fly into Hamton's house as Hamton yawns. The camera zooms in as he turns around and goes inside his house)
Hamton: "Well, now for some shut-eye."
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view of Hamton's house as the sound of the mosquitoes poking Hamton can be heard. He runs out of his house, screaming and holding his bottom in pain)
Hamton: "Yowch!"
(Hamton turns around, revealing his bottom is covered in mosquito bites. The camera cuts to an opposing view of him as The Mosquito flies up to him, then to a view of one of the windows of Hamton's house, revealing that The Mosquitoes are throwing a party inside, flying around and tossing streamers, balloons, and confetti. The camera cuts back to Hamton, who sighs)
Hamton: "Well, at least it's quiet out here."
(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of The Mosquito, who ums in approval. It then cuts to a view of Hamton, who is making a pillow out of leaves. He then rests his head on it, and the camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as The Mosquito flies down next to him and pulls in another pile of leaves to rest on. Hamton then takes one of his leaves and puts it over The Mosquito like a blanket. He then sighs)
Hamton: "Goodnight."
(The Mosquito buzzes, "Goodnight")
Two-Headed Monster (Heard offscreen): "Goodnight."
(Hamton and The Mosquito awaken and stare in shock. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view, revealing the Two-headed Monster from the second wraparound is right next to them. They scream in shock and run offscreen. The camera zooms in on the Two-headed Monster, then cuts to a view of it as it removes its heads, revealing them to be masks and Buster and Babs to be disguised as the Two-headed Monster)
Buster: "Ha ha ha! This is more fun than rabbits oughta have!"
Babs: "Goodnight, Folks!"
(Buster and Babs use the arms from the Two-headed Monster costume to curl their fingers in a creepy position. The screen irises out on them, and stops midway, then fades to black, and the credits roll)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Tiny Toon Adventures