死を待つ、死ぬ日まで (Shi o Matsu, Shinu Hi Made)

==Lyrics==
Japanese 	Romaji 	English
本当に死にたかったんだ 	hontou ni shinitakatta nda 	The reason I really wanted to die
私は生きる意味が無いから 	watashi wa ikiru imi ga nai kara 	Is because I have no reason to live.
増える横線と喉を通る薬 	fueru ousen to nodo o tooru kusuri 	The horizontal lines pile up, and I'm able to swallow pills.
痛みよ私を殺してよ 	itami yo watashi o koroshite yo 	O pain, kill me already!
 	 	
眠れない午前2時 月が照らす街 	nemurenai gozen niji tsuki ga terasu machi 	2:00 AM: I was unable to sleep as the moon lit up the town.
手首から流れる生きがいを見てた 	tekubi kara nagareru ikigai o miteta 	I saw my raison d'être flow from my wrists.
 	 	
首を絞めてもがいて 	kubi o shimete mogaite 	I hang myself and struggle,
でも怖くて涙が溢れてくんだ 	demo kowakute namida ga afureteku nda 	But frightened tears are overflowing.
虚ろな目で月を見上げていた 	utsuro na me de tsuki o miagete ita 	With hollow eyes, I gazed at the moon.
このまま消えればどれだけ楽なのか 	kono mama kiereba dore dake raku nano ka 	How easy would it be to disappear like this?
海の底で静かに眠った 	umi no soko de shizuka ni nemutta 	I slept peacefully on the seafloor.
 	 	
本当に死にたかったんだ 	hontou ni shinitakatta nda 	The reason I really wanted to die
私は生きる意味が無いから 	watashi wa ikiru imi ga nai kara 	Is because I have no reason to live.
増える横線と喉を通る薬 	fueru ousen to nodo o tooru kusuri 	The horizontal lines pile up, and I'm able to swallow pills.
痛みよ私を殺してよ 	itami yo watashi o koroshite yo 	O pain, kill me already!
 	 	
握りしめてる 	nigirishimeteru 	I grasp them tightly.
数え切れないほどの薬を飲んだら 	kazoekirenai hodo no kusuri o nondara 	When I swallow enough pills that I've lost count,
気持ちはやがて 	kimochi wa yagate 	All of my feelings
全てのものが虚しく見えてさ 	subete no mono ga munashiku miete sa 	Seem futile in the end, and in truth,
本当は生きるためにリアルから逃げているのか 	hontou wa ikiru tame ni riaru kara nigete iru no ka	Aren't I just fleeing from reality in order to live?
私は私は 	watashi wa watashi wa 	I'm...I'm...
 	 	
見向きもされず 	mimuki mo sarezu 	Noticed by no one,
ただ1人で抱えて生きてきたんだ 	tada hitori de kakaete ikite kita nda 	I just came to live by carrying my burdens alone.
震える手を強く握りしめた 	furueru te o tsuyoku nigirishimeta 	I grasped a trembling hand with all my strength.
今度は死ねるか？また1人で生きるか 	kondo wa shineru ka? mata hitori de ikiru ka 	Will I be able to die this time? Or will I live on my own?
海の底で今でも 	umi no soko de ima demo 	Even now, on the seafloor...
 	 	
本当に死にたかったのか 	hontou ni shinitakatta no ka 	Did I really want to die?
気づけば月日は流れていた 	kizukeba tsukihi wa nagarete ita 	Before I knew it, the months had flown on by.
増える横線も溜まる錠剤も 	fueru ousen mo tamaru jouzai mo 	Even now, I can't quit piling up horizontal lines
今でもやめられずいるんだ 	ima demo yamerarezu iru nda 	Or collecting tablets.
 	 	
叶えたい願いとか今は特にないから 	kanaetai negai toka ima wa toku ni nai kara 	Because I don't have any wishes I want to granted in particular,
死を待つ、死ぬ日まで 	shi o matsu, shinu hi made 	I'm waiting for death until the day I die.
Category:Japanese songs