The Battle of Oxford

== General Information ==
The Battle of Oxford was a Battle in the Reddit War following The Battle of South Bridge. It was fought on October 4th, 1851, and was fought well after the point the British knew this would be a long and tiring war. 
== Background ==
After the redditors had worked to secure East Anglia, the Redditors sent up and coming Major Charlie Tuna to test the defenses of central England. While in traditional European military hierarchy, we would expect a major to only command one company within a larger regiment, in Reddit tradition Majors would often command an entire section of an army on their own to test their worth. Oxford was being defended by 2 brigades, the larger second army was split between defending the surrounding area of London and defending other cities in that area. While the capitol told of a relief army heading to the city, Major Tuna had surrounded the city and began bombarding the town. A mix between Young officers and concerns from the University of Oxford about the bombardments led Major General Buzzkillington to order his troops to fight, and forcing Colonel Sanders and the 57th to lead the fight, despite his protests about the plan in general. Colonel Sanders thus prepared the brigades to fight the Redditors North of the city.
== Battle ==
On October 4th, 1851, Colonel Sanders led his troops directly against Major Charlie Tuna. The hasty British plan included a well hidden cavalry charge from the rear against Reddit Artillery positions. The 57th fought bravely to distract Reddit troops while their cavalry relieved them of Reddit artillery fire. This charge, however, failed utterly when the cavalrymen found the Reddit cannons pointed directly at them loaded with grapeshot. They were torn to shreds as the tide of the battle immediately turned. Colonel sanders ordered his men to carefully advance around the Reddit flanks, but many British officers were too nervous or cowardly to do so. This, in combination of Reddit artillery fire led Colonel Sanders to lead a retreat back into the walls of Oxford. 
Brilliantly, Major Tuna does not have his men immediately follow. Instead, he maneuvers around to the east of the city where they would be less prepared. This suprise attack was very effective, leading to close quarters combat in the streets of Oxford. Major Tuna was one of the most violent of the Redditors during this battle, as this quote from Captain Asgore after the war describes:"...[Major Charlie Tuna] struck fear into the hearts of men that day, his blood orange sabre sliced through our men with ease, terrifying us all. He fought with such demented joy...I truly believe that not a man on that field shall ever forget his name." ~Asgore DreemurEventually, it was clear to many of the officers that they had lost. They all ordered their men to retreat one by one, until only the men of the 57th Regiment of Foot were left. Colonel Sanders ordered his men to retreat, but did not immediately follow. Instead, he decided to distract the Reddit army to ensure that this retreat would be successful. He stood shirtless in the center of town, yelling for a Redditor to meet him in battle. The Redditors and the people of Oxford watched in fearful suspense as Colonel Ernie the Giant Chicken came to meet him in combat. Despite fighting very hard, the chicken was utterly defeated by Sanders in such a painful and awe striking display that the Redditors simply allowed Sanders to leave the city, possibly out of fear for their own safety. Although this battle was a major defeat for the British, there was a minor psychological victory to be had in Sanders' sizzling smackdown of epic proportions.
== Aftermath ==
Although this battle was a major defeat for the British, there was a minor psychological victory to be had in Sanders' sizzling smack-down of epic proportions. The Redditors would occupy the city, and prepare to follow the British troops south to Didcot in the following months. 
== In Popular Culture ==
* WWE and KFC promotional stunt, "Colonel Sanders" conquers pretender chicken in honor of KFC's new Chicken Little Sandwich
Category:Events
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