Fugitive Television/Transcript

Fugitive Television
Starred:
Microsoft Sam as the Paramount Boss
Microsoft Mary as the Pixar Lamp 2008 Logo
Speakonia Male 1 as the Walt Disney Logo
Speakonia Male 2 as the NBC News Logo
Speakonia Male 3 as the Viacom Pinball logo
Speakonia Female 2 as Television
Robosoft 2 as the Viacom V of Doom
Robosoft 3 as the Blue Mountain
(Paramount Television 1977 Logo)
(At the end, Television sways around the mountain 10 times then goes off from the right)
Boss: Cut! Blue Mountain, what are you doing to Television?
Stop abusing him! He doesn't need any more scars from you!
Mountain: He's the one who abuses me and I never saw any scars on him.
Boss: No matter. We've got to find Television before he gets hurt.
(Walt Disney Pictures [Pixar version 1995])
(Television enters from the right replacing “Pictures”)
Television: Wow! Walt Disney in person!
Can I have your autograph, Mr. Disney?
Disney: I'm afraid you're mistaken, Television.
I'm just a Disney logo.
The real Walt Disney died in 1966.
Television: I didn't even know he was sick.
Well, I guess I'll have to wait until they unfreeze him.
Disney: Don't hold your breath. He wasn't frozen; he was cremated.
Boss: Television! Stop messing around with Disney and come back here!
Television: Gotta skee-daddle.
Give my regards to Mickey Mouse.
(Television lefts)
(Pixar Logo)
(Television enters from the right)
Pixar: Hello friend.
What are you doing in my ID?
Television: Running away from the ever-so- abusive Blue Mountain.
He always treats me like a slave.
Boss: I see you trying to hide in the Pixar lamp, Television.
You better give up while you still can.
Television: Excuse me, Pixar, but I've gotta light out.
(Television lefts)
(NBC News)
(Television fades under “NEWS”)
NBC News: Hey! You there!
Yes, you, Television!
You effed up the NBC News ID.
Television: I need a place to hide.
That Paramount Blue Mountain is so abusive he makes Mike Tyson look like a saint.
NBC News: I don't care if he's an iconoclastic plutocrat like Donald Trump.
Get out! Now!
(Television fades out)
(Viacom Pinball)
(Television separates A Viacom and Presentation)
Viacom Pinball: All right, what's the big idea?
Television: Help! Help! Save me from that abusive Paramount Blue Mountain!
Boss: So there you are, Television!
If you don't come back to Paramount in five minutes,
I'm filing charges of mutiny against you.
Television: That damned Blue Mountain went back on his word and abused me again.
I've got so many scars, it would make Lazarus jealous.
Boss: Don't give me that bullshit, Television!
Come back or I'll see you in court.
And if I see you in court,
don't think for one minute you won't be found guilty.
Television: No jury in the world would convict me.
You'll never take me alive.
(Television left)
Boss: Oh noes! He's headed right at the dreaded V of Doom!
(Viacom V of Doom)
(Music winds down)
(A Viacom Presentation fades away, Television enters from the right)
Television: I've gotta hide. That Blue Mountain has sicked the law on me.
Eek! It's the V of Doom!
(Television lefts to the right) Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Viacom: All I wanted to do was be friends with somebody, but nobody would let me.
Boss: Because you've scared off too many innocent people
like that Television from the Blue Mountain logo.
Viacom: The story of my life.
I'm like Rodney Dangerfield--- no respect.
I'm hated, cursed at and reviled by everyone in YouTube Land.
I was never made for little children.
Was that really the Television from the Blue Mountain logo?
Boss: It sure was. He's a fugitive from Paramount
and I've summoned the cops to help track him down.
Viacom: Well, at one time Paramount was owned by my company, Viacom.
I'm sure that Television would feel better if we made a compromise.
Boss: V of Doom, you have your people talk to my people and you've got a deal.
So…
(Paramount Television)
(Television slides to the place)
(Gulf+Western changed to Viacom)
Blue Mountain: I'm glad you decided to come back, Television.
I didn't mean to be so slippery.
Television: Just be careful you don't get any more abusive ideas into that peak of yours.
Boss: Somehow, I have the feeling we haven't heard the last of that infernal V.
To be continued…
Category:Transcripts