Underworld Connections/Episode transcript

This is the episode transcript for "Underworld Connections."
(Link, who was sleeping, begins to sleepwalk to Zelda's room by shooting an arrow and rope across to her tower, but as he is walking on the rope, Zelda wakes him up by throwing milk at him)
Link: Huh? Princess? Wha?
Zelda: Just what did you think you were doing?
Link: What are you talking about? I was sleepwalking! Now help me before I fall!
Zelda: Sleepwalking? Sure! You were trying to sneak a quick kiss!
Link: No, I wasn't! I mean, maybe I was, but I was asleep. It wasn't my fault.
Zelda: Hmph.
Link: Anyway, princess, can you blame me? Whether I'm awake or asleep, you're the girl of my dreams.
Zelda: That's the SAPPIEST line I've ever heard.
Link: Did it work anyway?
Zelda: Judge for yourself. (leans over to kiss him but then Vires appear) Link, look! Those Vires, they're after the Triforce!
Link: They can't be. The Triforce is too big for Vires to carry.
Zelda: Not if they blow it apart. That one's got a bomb!
Link: On my way, princess! (runs over but is blown over by the explosion that breaks the Triforce of Wisdom in three shards and Link begins to fall)
Zelda: Link!
Link: Farewell, princess! (Zelda grabs the rope that Link used to cross over and swings by to grab him)
Zelda: Nothing to it, buster![?] You've still got work to do.
Vire: Hah! It worked. The Triforce is now in three pieces, small enough to steal!
Link: Hold it, you vile Vires! (grabs onto one then picks up his sword) That's far enough. You're going back to Ganon! (zaps one and then falls out the window, but manages to grab on to the edge with his feet, although this causes for his underwear to show) Ah...this is embarrassing.
(two Vires manage to fly away)
Zelda: They're getting away! Stop them!
Vire: We better split up.
Zelda: Hurry up, go after them!
Link: Hey, excuuuuse me, princess. I'm kind of hung up here, ok?
(the Vires go into the underworld in separate entrances)
(in Link's room)
Link: Boy, my room is a mess!
Zelda: Looks about normal to me. But never mind that now. Our big problem is that those Vire are taking the other two pieces of the Triforce back to Ganon! We must stop them!
Link: But how? Those Vire are probably halfway through the underworld labyrinth by now.
Zelda: I got it! Since all of the pieces of the Triforce are magically linked, if you shoot a zap into this one, it'll go through to the others and zap the Vires!
Link: Let's give it a shot! (zaps a Vire via the Triforce shard and the piece falls into a running lake. Link then zaps another one and falls in a lava room) Uh...did it work? Did we zap the vires?
Zelda: I hope so. Yes, I think so. Oh, see? This side feels wet and this side--ow!--feels hot. So that means one piece must have fallen somewhere wet, and the other piece is somewhere hot.
Link: Well, good! Hopefully that means Ganon doesn't have them.
Zelda: Not YET, you mean. But you can bet he'll be after them. We have to get going!
Link: Aw, princess! It's past my bedtime!
Zelda: Get dressed, hero. I'll meet you downstairs in five minutes.
(at the Underworld in Ganon's lair)
Ganon: You don't remember where you dropped the pieces?!
Vire: Yeh yeh yeh yeh. Flying so fast, don't remember!
Ganon: Fools! I want those pieces of the Triforce! And I'm going to find them, if I have to teleport to every chamber in the Underworld! Wait. Why work so hard? Link and Zelda will be after those pieces, too. If I just sneak up after they find them, I'll have Link, Zelda, AND the Triforce! Hyrule will be mine at last!
(at the surface)
Zelda: One of the Underworld Entrances is right here.
Link: It just looks like a big puddle to me. I'd say you're all wet, princess.
Zelda: Watch. (uses the Triforce's power to drain the pond, revealing the entrance) As I said, underworld entrance. C'mon, Link!
Link: No wonder I never caught any fish here... Hey, hold up, princess! Better take these boomerangs. No telling what we will run into down there. (gives the boomerangs to Zelda)
Ganon: Somewhere, scattered within my realm, are two pieces of the Triforce! Link and Zelda are trying to find them, and when they do, I'll be there! Fortunately, if I know Link, they'll be easy to keep track of. Go, my servants! Go forth, and welcome the heroes!
Link: Which is it, princess? Door number one, door number two, or door number three.
Zelda: (places the Magic Compass on top of the Triforce shard) The Magic Compass says...that way!
Link: Whatever you say, princess. (opens the door that Zelda pointed to but Ropes attack Link) Whoa, Ropes! Stay back, princess! 
Zelda: No, Link, wait!
Link: Hah! (zaps a few Ropes)
Zelda: Link! Stop zapping those Ropes! Ganon will know we're here!
Link: Well, excuuuuse me, princess. (is wrapped by Ropes)
Zelda: Oh, I suppose I better get you loose. (uses boomerang to defeat the Ropes that were tied around Link)
Link: Whew, that was a tight spot.
Zelda: C'mon! Stop sitting down on the job!
Link: Well excuuuuse me again, princess.
(in Ganon's lair)
Ganon: So...Link and Zelda are headed for the Black Falls. Well, they'll certainly find a surprise waiting there!
(at the Black Falls)
Link: You mean one of the Triforce pieces is down there?
Zelda: Definitely. We knew it was some place wet, and this is the wettest place around. Dive in and find it.
Link: Hey, why me?
Zelda: 'Cus you're the hero, hot-shot. Besides, you could use a bath.
Link: (sighs) Alright... Kiss? (Zelda pushes him off the ledge and into the water) Excuse me princess! (Link dives in and finds the Triforce shard, but then sees an Aquamentus) Zelda! Help! (Link comes out of the water riding the Aquamentus) This monstrous Aquamentus wants me for lunch!
Zelda: Oh, my goodness! (sees Link's pouch that he left behind and grabs a bomb inside)
 
Link: Zelda! 
Zelda: Bombs away! (throws the bomb and it explodes, defeating the Aquamentus) Link! Link, oh Link, are you alright?
Link: Ta-da! Your Triforce chunk, maiden. Kiss me.
Zelda: (grabs piece) Wonderful. One more to go. C'mon, Link!
Link: Some kiss.
(in another place in the underworld)
Zelda: The last piece of the Triforce is in here.
Link: Looks pretty toasty. (A Gibdo comes running in trying to grab the Triforce but Link zaps it) Pesky monsters.
Zelda: Will you stop doing that! Ganon will know where we are!
Link: Hey! Excuuuuse me, prin--
Zelda: Ugh, just get moving. The piece is out there...somewhere.
Link: Thanks. (takes out Magical Shield and uses it to jump over the fire) Ah, there it is! The last piece of the Triforce. (picks it up with his sword) Ah, the journey's over. (Ganon appears)
 
Ganon: It IS for you, Link. You and Zelda are my prisoners, and that piece is mine!
Link: Hey, you want this piece, Ganon? You can have it! (throws it at Ganon, but it the shard is burning, so he throws it back to Link) Heads up, princess!
 
Zelda: (catches it) Hurray! The Triforce is whole again!
Ganon: And I want it! (fires beams at Link who blocks them with his shield)
Link: (zaps Ganon twice) Two zaps! One more and you're history, Ganon!
Ganon: That's a zap you won't make, Link! (raises ring of fire around Link, trapping him)
Zelda: But I will, you evil wizard! (throws boomerang at Ganon which hits him but doesn't make him disappear. Ganon then throws fire in Zelda's direction while Link uses his shield to surf through the fire)
Link: Yahoo! Flame surfing! (grabs Zelda while still floating on the shield since the fire is still following them. They escape safely back to the surface) Well, saved the day again, princess. Kiss me.
Zelda: Egh, no! You're all dirty!
Link: Aw, c'mon, princess!
(in Ganon's lair, Ganon is trapped inside the Evil Jar)
Ganon: The fight's only begun, Link and Zelda! I cannot be stopped! (getting squished by the other monsters in the Evil Jar) Ow, stop pushing, you idiots! Get away!