The crazysponge died finale (real)

the crazysponge died finale (real) is the fifth episode of Season Five of CrazySponge Died: The Series. It is a one-day-late April Fools' special.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with a visual disclaimer of the contents of the episode)
Al Gore: Don't forget, there will be lots of gore.
(Cut to CrazySponge sitting outside in a hammock. A girl walks up to him)
Girl: Hi, is this Crazy-?
(CrazySponge scoffs and looks at the girl with scorn)
CrazySponge: You dare to cross my road of freedom, lady? Pfft, you shouldn't even try.
Girl: But I want you, my love. It's my only hope.
CrazySponge: Don't think you can Star Wars your way out of this one, young lady. Shoo, shoo!
(The girl hesitantly runs off and CrazySponge sighs)
CrazySponge: I hate women. Isn't that right, Meatwad?
Meatwad: I am literally a wad of meat. Also you're paying me for my appearance, right?
CrazySponge: Erm… well, to be honest-
Scott the Woz: Hey all, Scott here! Did you know you can rebuild your car’s transmission in under three months?
CrazySponge: N-no not really-
(Scott shoves a stick of dynamite into CrazySponge’s mouth and Naruto runs away)
CrazySponge: Aw man, not again.
(The dynamite blows up in his mouth, causing a giant explosion)
CrazySponge: (with soot all over his body) How did I not die there?
Nova: Hey CrazySponge, now that you're black-
(Nova gets socked in the face and gets knocked off screen)
CrazySponge: Not this time. Not again.
Meatwad: (eyes set ablaze) PAY ME. NOW.
CrazySponge: (tossing a dollar at Meatwad’s face) Fine, here’s 20 bucks. Now VANISH!
Meatwad: Sweet. Later. (vanishes)
CrazySponge: Jackass.
CrazySponge’s mom: CrazySponge, did you just forget we’re going to the Cheesecake Factory or what?
CrazySponge: Coming!
(Transition to CrazySponge’s family sitting at a table at the Cheesecake Factory. CrazySponge is typing utter nonsense on the SBFW Crib as per usual. The waiter appears with an expression of scorn)
Waiter: (sighs) How may I take your order today, everyone?
CrazySponge: I’d like your finest pasta.
Waiter: How original. And you two?
CrazySponge’s mom: Pasta.
CrazySponge’s dad: Pasta and beer.
Waiter: Wonderful. I’ll be back with your shit… eventually. (walks off, mumbling to himself)
CrazySponge’s mom: What a nice man. The best waiter we’ve ever had.
CrazySponge: Uh huh. Hey mom, what’s a vowel exactly?
CrazySponge’s mom: (chuckles) You learned that in elementary school, honey. You don’t need to ask me what it is.
CrazySponge: I genuinely do not know what a vowel is.
CrazySponge’s mom: I wish I could reverse your birth.
CrazySponge: Haha I wish.
(The waiter comes by and brings CrazySponge’s dad his beer)
CrazySponge’s dad: Thanks, waiter. (chugs the entire beer whole and burps, causing an earthquake) More, please.
Waiter: (grunts and walks off to get more beer)
CrazySponge’s mom: Haha, that’s my man!
CrazySponge: Hmph. Alcohol is such a sinful beverage.
CrazySponge’s dad: (crushes the glass with his hand and glares at his son) I no longer have a son. I hate my child.
CrazySponge: Yooooo, just like the series!
(CrazySponge’s dad swiftly picks up his son with his brute strength, and throws him out the nearest window akin to Ralph Wiggum being thrown like a brick. CrazySponge ends up in a dark alleyway)
CrazySponge: …I hate my stupid father.
Cheese rat: Mmm… Cheese….
CrazySponge: Uh actually my name is CrazySponge.
Cheese rat: …cheesesponge…
CrazySponge: Yknow it actually makes a lot of sense that you're hiding out near the CHEESEcake Factory, heheheh…
Cheese rat: …
CrazySponge: …you're not gonna eat me, are you?
Cheese rat: ….
CrazySponge: Come on man, just get it over with so I can die.
Cheese rat: …..
CrazySponge: (sighs and begins to walk away before the cheese rat’s tail suddenly strangles his neck) ACK! There we go…!
Cheese rat: Hush, my child. Your life will be over soon, and mine will continue.
CrazySponge: o…. (gets strangled to death)
Cheese rat: Good boy. Now… 
(The cheese rat begins to eat CrazySponge’s lifeless corpse, blood splattering onto his mouth, which he promptly licks off. The scene fades to white)
(The screen then fades to CrazySponge falling onto a yellow cloud platform. God and Satan can be seen bickering to each other about something)
CrazySponge: (gets up) Um, are you two gonna send me to hell or something?
God: HUSH, mortal. Oh hey it's you. CrazySponge. Dear God save me.
Satan: YOU’RE God, you imbecile. Damn, for such a divine being you sure are stupid.
God: Don't test me. (to CrazySponge) Now lad, I know this may seem a bit odd. But there's a reason it took you this long to get here.
CrazySponge: And why's that, hmm?
God: Well…. (to Satan) do you want to tell him?
Satan: If I must. (to CrazySponge) Crazy Sponge XVI, you are our… for a lack of better words, experiment.
CrazySponge: Experiment?
Satan: Yes. We've seen how much of a punching bag you are, rightfully so might I add. And while you have been egregiously obnoxious and annoying, it's not enough for you to be directly sent to hell. Nor heaven, for that matter. So, we have made you immortal so that we don't have to decide whether to send you to heaven or hell.
CrazySponge: Goddamn… I’m really that special to you guys.
God: In a convoluted sort of way, yes. We're mostly just incompetent.
Satan: Hey, this was all my idea!
God: Sure, sure. Anyway, now that you have… ACTUALLY died, somehow… we need to figure out what to do with you.
Satan: Hold on, I have an idea. (rips CrazySponge’s soul out of his body, making him collapse to the ground)
(Satan places the soul onto a giant scale, and the scale perfectly balances)
Satan: Heavier than a feather…
God: But lighter than a feather at the same time.
CrazySponge: Actually that's not physically possible- (gets paralyzed)
God: Hush, little one. It is possible, somehow… I've just never seen it happen for myself.
Satan: So, what do we do with him?
God: I say we flip a coin. Heads, we send him to heaven. Tails, we send him to the pits of hell.
(God flips a coin, and it lands exactly on its side)
God: Oh come on!
Satan: It's almost as if fate doesn't know what to do with him.
God: Well, shucks. I'm stumped.
(The episode ends with God and Satan shrugging in unison as CrazySponge lies on the ground, still paralyzed)
==Trivia==
*This is FireMatch's last episode before she departed from the series.
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