IUSD11

==Chapter 11 - I used to Dream==
Ia Drang cabin
Kowloon
Kowloon System
Lyran Commonwealth
December, 3086
Late fall on the Plateau.  It was a short summer this year, coming off a hard winter, and I missed most of it.  At this elevation, there's already some snow on the ground, ice in shady areas, the leaves on the transplanted Earthlife trees are turning yellow-brown.
"Careful." I catch Penny when she slips on the driveway, despite being the person carrying both our bags. She squeals a little bit, looks up, and I give her the kiss she's expecting.
In the full suns of long-noon, her red hair is almost copper and white.  she grins up at me, and we resume walking up to the door.
The Ia Drang cabin was great-great-grandad's retreat from responsibility. Mom and Dad still use it for that-only not so much.  High-volume fiberoptic lines connect it to the comm grid, there's a landing pad up here now instead of the grass airstrip. A paved road to the surface level of Ia Drang proper twenty five kilometers south of here, and a second service road going down to Highway 2, and from there, to Hue.
It's not the same suburban crowding you get at Elizabeth House, or urban crowding at the Hue Falcon Enclave's command post.
"I like this place!" Penny tells me, "This place, it is beautiful!"
"My sis and I liked it here, we used to argue about which of us would get it when we hit age of majority." I tell her, "I think Mom's not going to just sign it off to her kids though."  Kid.  Amanda's gone.
"Well, it is nice to be invited."
We reach the front door, and I scramble for the key, but mom beats me to it by opening the door.
"Patrick!!" she glomphs me with a hug that's completely out of left field.  None of the normal, cold formality she used when we were growing up.
"Hi Mom...this is Penny." says Patrick.
She lets me go, and plants a hand on each of Penny's shoulders.  "My goodness, Patrick, she's adorable!"
"Mom!"
"It is alright, Patrick." Penelope tells me, and then gives a half-curtsey, "Your Grace, thank you for having me over."
"Come in! come in!!"  Mom herds us both inside, and Dad comes out of the office/study.
"Patrick." says his father. "Sir." I straighten up.  My Dad is 'sir', he was 'daddy' for Amanda but, he's always been 'sir' for me.
"And...Penelope, um, Harris and Von Jankmon?"
''
''
"Harris and Pershaw, sir." she said, "My lineage came from a mixed Von-Jankmon/Pershaw, second generation."''
"I saw your file." He tells her, "I admit surprise that Khan Clees would let you go like she did, your physical scores were not that bad."
Penny shrugs a little, "I was told it was also my attitude, Sir."
"That fits better." He tells her.  "Welcome, then...Patrick, I need you in the Study.  Penelope, make yourself comfortable."
"Aye sir." she says.
I follow my father into the office and he closes the door.
"She is cute." he tells me.  "A little on the small side, and weak...but cute."
"Weak? Penny works circles around me out at the Snark site, and she's smarter than-"
"Not what I mean." He tells me, "She is a good choice. Good genes and heritage, good grades, high intelligence, and clearly she has her hooks in you."  He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bottle of amber whiskey and two glasses.  "Do you actually love her?"
''
"What kind of question is that?" asks Patrick.
"It is an important question, Son." He fills both glasses.  "If you do not, you should break it off now, before one of you gets hurt.  Have a seat."
I take the glass and sit down in one of the chairs, and Dad sits on the wooden top of the desk, facing me.
''
"When you and Amanda were born, it was the most disturbing experience I ever had. I was not even the one giving birth."  He tells me,   "If I did not love your mother, and I mean truly I would not have been able to stomach witnessing it.  Eventually, if you and Penelope stay together, you will have to experience the disturbing, frustrating, and at times terrifying experience of being a father, and she will have to experience the inconvenience, mood swings, physical discomfort, and mind-blowing pain of pregnancy and giving birth."
He looks over the rim of his glass, "Drink up."
I take my drink, and he continues.''
"What they do not tell you, is that you will experience something similar, the emotional roller-coaster of being a parent is not a cliche or a fairy tale, Pat." He tells me, "I can not tell you how many times I almost quit and fled in shame over my own emotional reactions. Especially when you and your sister were small, I may have volunteered for some duties simply to avoid that emotional strain, it almost cost me my marriage.  You need to be Committed son."''
"You would not be giving me this speech if you thought I was, quiaff?" I ask him.''
''
"Neg." he tells me, "You quit MechWarrior training when you were not failing, and opted to change MOS and service commitment from LCAF to Kowloon Coast Guard after your sister's...disappearance. Her death, Patrick."
It's like he tossed an ice block at my face, that word.
''
"Sir, this isn't-"
"Pat, it is." He tells me.  "She is not a replacement for Amanda. You would be doing both of you a severe disservice to try and do that. So I want to know...are you committed to this? are you committed to your relationship with Miss Falcone in the front room, or are you using her as a patch over a wound on your soul?"
"I-"
"Do not answer it glibly, boy." he's stern, "I just want you to spend some of this Leave time thinking about that question, and the answer.  Deep thinking about it."
"Yes, Sir." I'm five again. ****** it.
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