Yo, Black Market

This is the 23rd episode of Hoopla's Fantastic Beach, and the 8th episode of season 2.
(Episode opens with Hoopla and Boopla at Hoopla’s house)
Hoopla: Boopla, whatever am I to do?
Boopla: Why are you talking like that?
Hoopla: How am I speaking that disturbs you?
Boopla: Okay whatever it doesn’t matter.
Hoopla: HOOPLA! I just can’t believe my lemonade business failed. At least I think it did, I kinda fell asleep there. If rock bottom doesn’t work, what do I do now?
Boopla: Go right up to the top?
Hoopla: Oh yeah, that’s what my mom told me for some reason.
Boopla: Your mom?
Hoopla: Yes, my mom.
Boopla: Okay. Well I do have one last thing I could give you to help you make some money.
Hoopla: PLEASE TELL ME I NEED THE MONEY.
Boopla: Y’know how I like to..well…
Hoopla: Well what? Spit it out!
Boopla: The media is watching my every move. I’ll whisper it to you. (whispers) Remember the Black Market?
Hoopla: Oh yeah, that’s the thing you like to do.
Boopla: That’s where you can go to make money. You’ll find everything there.
Hoopla: I just need to sell a kidney, right? Because I read on TOTALLYNOTSHADY.COM that you really don’t need your kidneys.
Boopla: What? No! Just bring something that you don’t need and make it seem like it’s worth a lot.
Hoopla: So one of my kidneys? 
Boopla: Okay I give up. 
Hoopla: Do you happen to have a scalpel? 
Boopla: You’ll probably find one on the market.
Hoopla: Ok thanks! Time to go...um…
Boopla: What?
Hoopla: Where exactly is the Black Market?
Boopla: Floor 69 of Unnamed Hotel.
Hoopla: Hey, I thought you said that was where your room was when we first met! Not the entire Black Market!
Boopla: Yeah well I lied. 
Hoopla: You seem to do that a lot. On that note, how much are kidneys worth?
Boopla: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU DON’T NEED TO REMOVE ONE OF YOUR KIDNEYS TO GET ACCESS TO THE BLACK MARKET. 
Hoopla: Then why do you have a scar where your kidneys are?
Boopla: Don’t you remember? I sold them to avoid being hypnotised.
Hoopla: I suffer from very short term memory loss. Wait, who are you? (Grabs rifle) HOW'D YOU GET IN MY HOUSE?
Boopla: This isn’t a house, it’s an apartment.
Hoopla: same thing.
Boopla: Well, you better get going to the Black Market. They’re having a get one get -2 free sale.
Hoopla: doesn't that mean I’d have to pay them?
Boopla: shut up and get going.
(Cuts to Hoopla in the Black Market. A man in a trenchcoat stops him.)
Man: Zey, buddy, vould you like to buy a copee of ze communist manifezto?
Hoopla: What even is that?
Man: Itz a book yew eediot.
Hoopla: Is it a good book, like the bible or something?
Man: Itz R rated.
Hoopla: This is a C show.
Man: Come zon, it’z only 10 euro.
Hoopla: You do realize what continent we live on.
Man: LONG LIVE MOTHER VUSSIA!
Hoopla: ...North America.
Man: Zo how menee copees can eye put yew down fur?
(Hoopla walks away slowly)
Scooter: I can relish that condiment, haw haw haw!
Hoopla: Scooter? I didn’t know you came here.
Scooter: Dude, this is where I buy surfboards for my collection. I’m banned from all stores since I’m apparently “too annoying” for them.
Hoopla: o. 
Scooter: Oh, and hold my water bottle for me. I like to surf indoors.
Hoopla: How much does this water weigh?
Scooter: I dunno, probably heavier than this entire building.
Hoopla: Wha- how-?
Scooter: Oh, can I have my bottle back dude?
Hoopla: Sure, whateve- (trips and spills the water bottle)
(The entire room turns into an ocean)
Hoopla: Help! I can’t swim!
Scooter: Haw haw haw! Hang eleven, dudes!
Hoopla: You better hang down from a… tight… rope… my brain is suddenly getting dumber from the lack of oxygen help
(Hoopla passes out)
Scooter: That’s what you get for being annoying. Haw haw haw (slams right into a wall from not paying attention)
Man: cere yer injeries with zee communist manifezto!
Scooter: shut up, hahahahahahahahahaw
Man: zee shall refuse zee communism zhall pay! Mazik wizard powerz go! SHIA-KAZING! (he claps his hands and blows up)
Scooter: Uh, you need any help there?
Man: Zhut up!
Scooter: Fine, I’ll remove the water myself. (Scooter turns into a vacuum cleaner or something and sucks up all the water)
Man: Plot twist I faked that accent and was trying to get an excuse to drink more… Sparkling Water With Extra Flavor! Now in 3 flavors! Get yours today for $19.99! (drinks water, falls on wet floor dead)
Scooter: He must've drank the poisoned water. Oopsies. Wait, why do I have poisoned water?
Hoopla: (gasps for air) Wait I thought I was gonna die.
Scooter: You didn’t die, he did.
Hoopla: May he rest with fleas.
Scooter: ...close enough.
Hoopla: I’m gonna leave, okay? (starts walking away when someone pokes him straight in the face)
???: Hi.
Hoopla: Don’t poke me like that.
???: It doesn’t matter. You’re the green guy who’s running on the news.
Hoopla: Uhhhh-
???: You want power, right?
Hoopla: Of course. 
???: Well boy howdy do I have a deal for you.
Hoopla: (rolling eyes) Alright texas man, what do you have.
???: You really wanna know?
Hoopla: Well do you want money or not?
???: Fine. It’s this neat little thing called the “shadow button” It’s the only one in the entire world.
Hoopla: The what now?
???: The most I can say is that it basically has the power of a black hole. It’s a secret to everybody.
Hoopla: Why can’t you say mo-
???: Shh...shush little one.
Hoopla: Fine I’ll take it. How much is this going to set me back?
???: Depends.
Hoopla: What?
???: Would you be willing to pay it all here, or for 420 easy payments of $69696969696969?
Hoopla: I only got like, 2 Goober dollars.
???: THAT WORKS.
Hoopla: Oh really? HOOPLA!
(Hoopla has unlocked: SHADOW BUTTON)
Hoopla: Now, erm, how should I use this?
???: Maybe sell it again for a higher price, display it on a shelf, brag about it, but whatever you do, DON’T USE IT!
Hoopla: It couldn’t possibly be that bad.
???: Believe me...now go.
Hoopla: Why-
(The man pulls out a gun)
???: Go.
Hoopla: (backing up) Going, going, going, and gone.
(Hoopla runs past severals markets of people selling strange items and into the elevator)
Hoopla: (spamming elevator buttons) WORK! 
Elevator: You are going up.
Hoopla: DAMN IT!
(The elevator goes straight up into the White Market)
!!!: Hello young fellow, and welcome to the White Market.
Hoopla: Huh (pulls down button)
!!!: Come back soon!
Hoopla: Ugh, can’t this go down quicker? (the elevator shoots down and Hoopla splatters) ok, im good
(Cut to Hoopla talking to Boopla)
Boopla: So, you didn’t make ANY MONEY?
Hoopla: Yeah. I got sidetracked. But I did get this cool thing! (pulls out the shadow button) I don’t know what it is really.
Boopla: (taking button) Lemme see that. Huh. 
Hoopla: See anything?
Boopla: Not really- (flips it over) What the-
Hoopla: What is it?
Boopla: It says, “Copyright 2020 Doclement Inventions”.
(end)
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