The Aging Musician

The Aging Musician is a song by The Residents from their 1994 album 'The Gingerbread Man' 
== Background ==
The song features a similar structure to the rest of the songs on The Gingerbread Man, a sung introduction introducing the character, and a spoken word outro, detailing their internal monologue.
The Aging Musician was a rock star many years ago, but now, lives alone with his dog. He refuses to accept modernity, and as such, modernity rejects him. The aging musician believes if he killed himself, he would regain the respect he no longer received. 
Within his monologue he thinks about his inspirations, and how poorly modern computer artists stack up to them, and blames his failures on MTV.
His mind slowly turns to gun control, and how he rejects the idea of it, as he rejects musical modernity. 
The song features Todd Rundgren on vocals. 
It was performed live for the first time in 1997 during the group's week long residency at The Fillmore. This version remains faithful to the original, adding a spoken word intro for the story.
The song was re-recorded for the first time in 2001 for the Icky Flix DVD & album, and was performed on the subsequent tour.
In 2018 a cover of the song appeared on the official tribute/remix album I am A Resident! by Jeremy Maloney.
== Lyrics ==
 Run, run, run, run
 Run, run, run, run
 Run, run, fast as you can
 Run, run, fast as you can
 Run, run, fast as you can
 You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man
 Once upon a time I played electric guitar
 And they said I was a rock and roll star
 Now nobody calls me on the telephone
 So I sit and watch my TV all alone
 Maybe if I put a bullet in my brain
 They'd remember me like Kurt Cobain
 And the parasites on MTV
 Would wipe their eyes and act like they knew me
 But I wouldn't be a hero I'd be dead
 Just a note beside a corpse that read
 If you like to pretend that you'll never get old
 You got what it takes to rock and roll
 Jagger - he was a poet
 None of this three chords and a hairdresser crap
 I just need a couple of players
 With a couple of really good players
 I could have a band again go back on the road
 C'mere boy
 Play real music none of this computer crap
 Real music
 We could go big
 Whatever happened to music
 Now it's all about marketing and media coverage
 Goddamn MTV
 Everything was okay before MTV
 And gun control - like gun control's gonna stop anything
 A Trooper Mark III'll stop just about anything
 C'mere boy
 Schnauzer, where's Uzi?
 Is he outside?
 Nothing's right anymore not even TV
 Davy Crockett said it all
 If you're sure you're right then go ahead on
 Now nothing's right
 Goddamn MTV
== Story ==
Once he winked, and the women would swoon. Once he lived in limos and watched the world through the darkest of glasses. Once he played and sang for millions around the world.Now his primary relationship is with a pair of fox terriers. Now he collects guns instead of royalties. Now he watches TV constantly and still laughs at the old cartoons at sitcoms that formed the bulk of his obsolete and sadly naive values.The aging musician feels betrayed by a culture that once embraced but no longer needs his simplistic songs praising the virtues and failures of true love. And if he could still evoke even a false belief in those songs, maybe he could still make it on the nostalgia circuit.But it's so much easier to be bitter.
== Credits ==
Performance: The Residents
Guest: T. Rundgren
== Appearances ==
* Gingerbread Man (1994)1994 Studio Version (4:51)
* Louisiana's Lick (1995)
* Our Tired, Our Poor, Our Huddled Masses (1997)1994 Studio Version Edit (2:30)
* Live At The Fillmore (1998)1997 Live Version (4:52)
*Icky Flix (2001)2001 Studio Version (2:30)
* Icky Flix (Original Soundtrack Recording) (2001)
* Petting Zoo (2002)1994 Studio Version Edit (2:51)
* Kettles Of Fish On The Outskirts Of Town (2002)2001 October Live Version (2:27)
* 1997: The Missing Year - The Fillmore Dress Rehearsal (Act One) (2009)1997 Rehearsal Version (4:08)
* Icky Flix Live (2009)2001 March Live Version (2:26)
* Brava (2010)
* GBM(i) (2011)1994 Demo Version (2:33)
* Interactive Media (1991-97 Game Design) (2014)1994 Studio Version Edit (0:41)
* 80 Aching Orphans (2017)
* I Am A Resident! (2018)2018 Jeremny Maloney Version (3:05)
== Versions ==
Category:Gingerbread Man
Category:Icky Flix
Category:Songs
Category:Louisiana's Lick