2014.02.24 - Grand Openings

Monday late afternoons on campus at Metropolis University were frequently one of the most boring days of the year. Students, at least half of which sporting a hangover of some variation, vacantly stepped over light snowfall, the last last remains Winter's pummeling still lingering. The only interruption of the work week's whoosh was the premiere opening just four blocks off-campus at the intersection of Sunnyside Street and Bittersweet Boulevard: where a new, fancy independent pizzeria had opened up just an hour ago. 'Configure Your Pizza' was the nerdy-titled locale, but aptly sported the gimmick of forty-four topping options, completely selectable on the fly. The lines were long, trailing for an entire block down the street. This would've seemed more impressive if the fashion boutique across the street, _Fly Équilibre_ hadn't offered an unheard of 75-off sale in a jointly timed event. The line here was even longer, stretching around the block almost completely, and it was a virtual who's-who of Metropolis University hipster students and I'm-in-a-band types.
Tabitha Smith was 10th in line, and had been waiting for forty minutes. Now, waiting was something that Tabitha didn't do particularly well, and she spent half her time trying to chat up those nearby, occasionally trying to make a little joke about cutting in line. Which she tried a few times, failing. Overall, this was her people: irreverent commentary blatherers.
The screams started right before Tabitha stepped into the 9th position in line. She was eagerly counting. She looked over to find out the source of the panic, and saw several patrons running out of the pizza shop. Tabitha thought about investigating but...line.
Now, the afternoon had started perfectly for Cassandra Sandsmark: she managed to slink out of Davie's bed without waking him up, dodging the bottles on the floor AND dressing herself up despite her head-splitting headache. Behind her sunglasses the woman peers at the dorm and curses, realizing she is at Metropolis University, even if Lucas is quite the cutie. A beat, and she squints her eyes: Lucas, Davie, Bart? Whatever. Totally worth it.
But not really. As she stands by the corner, watching the line for Fly Équilibre, the blonde has some difficulties with thinking straight, let alone devising a plan to crash the god damn store. Gods, she hates these hipsters. They don't even wear their clothes right! Numbering ways she would avenge fashion by pummeling hipsters and maybe taking one or two hot guys from the 'I'm in a band' tribe home, her daydreaming is put to a stop when noise starts coming from the disgusting pizza place that just opened close by.
"Oh no. Not today. Hell no," she mutters, watching grumpily at the store while straightening up, feeling the invisible armor around her already buzz, signaling trouble, trouble worth of The Silent Armor. Taking a deep sigh, Cassie runs into the store. "Nothing cures a hangover like a nic-"
And she goes flying through a glass window, crumbling against a building, bricks falling over Cassandra as she lays there for a moment, rethinking her choices in life. "Punch?"
The scene inside the pizza shop was beyond awkward. About twenty-five patrons had shoved themselves against the walls, cowering and silent. Despite Cassie's epic, Kool Aid Man entrance, it wasn't her that they were reacting to. It was the one customer at the register. He was a... large, about eight feet tall, built man wearing a trenchcoat that barely fit him. The man was some kinda freak, or alien or something: his skin appeared to be chitinous, plated, and was dark grey, and his large mouth loomed hungrily. In his hand, he was dangling a $20 bill, and in his other he was pointing at random spots on the menu-placard on the wall, chittering guttural grunts as he pointed. He was trying to order. "Krrk. Krrrrk. Krrk."
Most of the restaurant employees had done the same, hiding in the kitchen... only the original cashier remained, who happened to be co-manager of the store, and he was staring dumbly at the creature, scared. It was only Cassy's brick-laden entry that shook him out of it, and he pointed at her. "What? Why???" he shouted to the heavens.
Tabby was awfully curious what all the hub-bub was about, but the line into the boutique had been moving faster, and she was already 4th in line. She could already see the lace-embroidered designer t-shirts calling out to her. She tapped her foot nervously. Action...or fashion?! This might've been the hardest decision she'd ever made.
Cassie remains frowning, knowing her golden-plated armor and scarlet clothes would make her look heroic enough. Why? Because she's Wonder Girl, that's why, hot and everyone's beloved and more accessible amazon warrioress! Right now, though, that frown won't go away as she tries hard to understand what is happening. Had this been a dream, Cassie would have taken it to her psychiatrist, given the unnecessary amount of trench coat-wearing bugs and forceful penetrations.
At the co-manager's plight Cassie simply hisses 'Shuddup!', fast, trying not to look utterly silly. Why? SHE should be asking why. Why this had to be a simple case of bug-man wanting pizza, and not some rampaging albino gorilla trying to conquer the world... of pizza? Shaking her head the blonde slowly approached the large monster, firmly believing that anything that can wear pants deserves to be treated as a citizen.
"My friend here will want... mushrooms and... cheese... and anchovies... Please.", Cassandra says to one of the people afraid of the monster, placing a hand on his arm reassuringly. This is speciessism... if that's a word, and Cassie won't stand for it!
The monster, who was fully aware that his semi-cochroach look had the potential of not warming over the pizza shop, looked at Cassie indignantly. He shook his head violently at her specific choices in toppings, and pointed aggressively in the fruits section of the menu. "Krrk! Kkr-KRRK!"
"Think he wants pineapple," the cashier suggested nervously.
Several of the customers began to flee, and bumped into Tabitha Smith on their way out.
"You think you'd clean up with the grand opening!" Tabitha said, stepping into the shop. She was empty handed--the temptation of some crazy action and someone going through a wall was finally enough to compel her over. Unlike everyone else here other than Cassie, she showed no signs of fear, pointing at the rubble and hole in the wall, "This place is a mess!"
Cassandra frowns at the monster, getting annoyed. "Oh GODS I'm sorry if I don't speak krrkrkrirking! Slow down and point a- Oh, pineapple? Okay! Pine- Why am I doing your job?!", and then she glares at the cashier, the blonde looking no less threatening than the bug. Still, she looks at the cockroach person and tilts her head, matching the creature aggressiveness with some high levels of 'Don't go there'ness.
"I'm warning you, buddy, if you keep acting like I'm your Rain Man brother, you are going to regret it. Look at this chest plate.", and she taps on the golden brassiere that shields her breasts from harm "Wonder. Girl. Wise up!"
And just in the middle of the healthy banter, Boom Boom walks in, and Cassandra promptly looks at her, and then at the mess, rolling her eyes "Oh, of course. Lets pay attention to a small mistake anyone could have made, and ignore the giant MIB stand in right here. Sure. Lets aaaal blame Ca- Wonder Girl! Look, hipster, just go back to line, I've got this."
The buggy guy was Litterbug, an army veteran who'd had his mutant abilities manifest later in life, rendering him more or less unable to communicate with others. He was currently in the middle of a temper tantrum, because it was definitely not Pineapple. He began barking at Cassie, small trails of spittle dancing through the air from his mouth to her face. "Krrk!! KRRK!"
Tabitha just about cracked up with Wonder Girl's raving, and moved in closer, "Girl, you just need a little finesse. Here, lemme show ya how it's dooone," Tabby said, sliding over to the register, dodging Litterbug's spittle. She leaned over the counter, and stage-whispered over to the cashier, "Just bring a few pizzas over, let 'em pick from 'em." The cashier shrugged and followed Tabitha's completely arbitrary instructions. She spun around and shot a little Yeah-I-Rock wink to Cassie, and then turned to look at Litterbug. He was staring at the two blondes, his face full of rage.
WAS staring at the two blondes, because the moment Cassie feels that thick glob of spit run down her cheek to land on top of her breast, she arm shoots up in a punch. She doesn't move an inch away from where she is, but her arm moves like lightning, hitting Litterbug on the chest, not caring if he goes through a wall or three. Nope, there are no amounts of traces of fuck to give on Wonder Girl's face, just a very 'This didn't happen' expression. The girl is, however, furiously blushing.
"He can pick his pizzas when he wakes up. If he wakes up.", she says flatly, masking seething rage. She shouldn't have come here. Cassandra just knows it. And somehow the pizza place will find a way of blaming her for the two new entrances she has made with her own bare hands this evening.
She does look at Tabitha, the blonde smirks some, looking a bit cocky, mirroring Tabby's 'Yeah-I-Rock' face. "How is that for finesse?"
Tabitha laughed, half in surprise, as she watched Litterbug sale across the room, crashing through a window, and out into the street. "Krrrrrrrk!"
"Woah," she said in awe, "You're like Wonder Woman, but Buffy-ized." Glancing around, Tabby noticed that one of the fleeing customers had left several uneaten slices on their plate, and scooped one up in a quick motion. "You're in luck. Gold is totes 'in' right now." Tabitha walked over while she nipped at the slice, peering out the now broken window; Litterbug was rubbing his head from a large indentation on the sidewalk. Tabitha turned around and asked Cassie, "Think you can do this next door? I heard they were having a sale."
Cassie looks around, somehow wary, when Boom Boom mentions Wonder Woman, peering over her shoulder as if expecting to find the image of a tall amazon shaking her head at Wonder Girl's antics. When that doesn't happen, though, the powerful blonde smirks smugly and nods.
"Willow was the best," because she was smart and studied hard, just like Cassie. She is not about to ruin this by going all nerd, though. She has herself a nice bad ass streak going. As Tabitha grabs a slice, Cassandra does looks about and breaks character for a second, grabbing one slice herself, taking a bite and MMMmmmmmm'ing loudly. Fetching the whole box, the taller woman grins "Shit this pizza is good. But yeah, lets do this. I am DYING for some new tops~", walking towards the store with Tabitha, ready to do the whole 'Superhero, coming through' business. She has Wonder Woman's symbol across her breasts. Two of the world's most effective 'let me in' badges. They are not going to make her and Tabby go in line, are they?
Tabby followed the one with the super strength, across the street. When they reached the entrance to the boutique, completely skipping the line, Tabby folded her arms into mock gangsta/thug stance, her head tilted aggressively. They were about to storm! Yeah! Having completely forgotten about Litterbug, the sound of metal scratching was heard for a moment, but Tabitha shrugged it off.
"Come on lady... I waited for like four days to get tickets!" Tabby sarcastically shouted at the woman allowing people to come and leave the shop in some orderly fashion. The woman bore this 'uh-oh' glare at the two. This expression only changed when it all at once looked desperate and panicked. This was followed by her jumping away from the front door, jumping straight into Cassie and Tabby. That was when there was the crash: the god awful intensely freaky sound that's made when a VW Bug comes flying into two large glass doors about 20 feet in front of the three women. Litterbug had missed, and stomped his foot. "KRRRRRK!"
Cassandra looks at Tabitha with a raised brow but a very amused smile on her lips. Maybe she likes this girl. And when Tabby doesn't stop talking for a minute, Wonder Girl realizes she quite likes this girl. It's her kind of crowd. AND this is her kind of pizza!
AND she can the PERFECT top she had been looking for, just at the entrance! How lucky! Maybe this day is going to be okay in the en-
And a VW Bug lands on top of her tops, the stand crashing down, the car destroying part of the store and windows, and also Cassie's dreams. For a moment she just stares blankly at the car, some shreds of lovely black cloth sticking out from underneath the wreckage. This didn't happen. This can't be real.
Outside, a car will HIT Litterbug, and this time Cassandra has attacked to hurt. Getting out of the store the angry blonde has a frown and gritted teeth. She might SERIOUSLY hurt the bugman now.
"Make peace with your gods, bug, and earn some karma. You'll need it for your next incarnation!"
Litterbug had quickly leaped way, managing to almost dodge Cassie's car-throw, save for a slam to his right arm. He recoiled it back in pain: "KrRrkrkrkr!" Ragefully, he moved to the next car just behind him, also a VW bug (this time light green), and began grunting as wrapped his arms around it to throw it at Cassie.
"Hey hippie girl, do one of those 'Ka!-Cha!-Pow!' moves!" Tabitha shouted, jumping onto the roof of a red mustang. Tabby flicked a little time-bomb towards the area, a pink swirl sailing through the air.
The NERVE of that bug person, dodging her perfectly thrown joke of a car! Cassie picks up speed, looking back only to look at Tabitha as the woman does her 'Ka! -Cha! -Pow!' request, to which Wonder Girl replies mid-run "I don't know kung-fu, smartas-"
And Cassandra gets hit straight by another hurling car. This time she takes a bit more to recover, as she opens the door, effectively rolling out of the car, a bit dizzy, falling on the ground. "I'm sorry, Di, but I am going to rip this thing's head off."
Standing up, something that takes quite some effort, Wonder Girl watches Tabitha's powers manifest, arching a brow and starting to run, expecting the annoying car-hurling mutant to be distracted enough not to see her flying towards him, ready to kick his liver with the ball of her foot, all the while scream.
"Ka... cha... POW!"
Tabitha's bomb lands just at Litterbug's feet on the ground. Indeed, it had caught his attention, and he tracked it's lovely little plasma-light energy like it were a butterfly paying him a visit. Unfortunately, this butterfly exploded, giant chunks of asphalt spraying, sending Litterbug several feet up into the air: "KRrRK!" His arms flailing.
"Aww yeah," Tabby chirped up, "Hit 'em, girl! He's a health code hazard!"
Cassandra takes advantage of Litterbug's flying form, her azure eyes widening as she glimpses at the powers Hipster Girl seems to have. A moment there Wonder Girl is not sure she should be crashing down on a mid-explosion bugman, but when it's all said and done, the strong blonde is landing with the aggressive bugman on the ground, on the crater she DID NOT do, that was totally there before, thanks to Tabitha.
"LAST WORDS!?", she asks the creature, before she looks at Boom Boom, as if asking The Emperor for a Yay or Nay.
"What do you say?! Jail or Graveyard with this one?!", asks Cassandra, forcing the mutant down on the concrete, abusing her strength to keep the man down.
Tabitha hopped down from the car and quickly standing about seven feet the two. "Make him say he's sorry!" Tabby said, kicking at Litterbug's torso. She stopped after two kicks, though, because his exoskeleton had hurt her foot. She tried to not let it show. "Make him be our personal roach-manslave!"
Litterbug's head swelled from bruising, and his hands shook angrily under Cassie's hold. "Krr! Krr! Krrrk!"
"SAY IT! Say it in your bugspeech! COME ON!", says Cassie, shaking her head when Tabitha almost hurts her foot on the creature's carapace. She also arches a brow and stops bullying the creature at some of Tabby's words. "Woah. Wait. I... we don't want a roach-manslave... do we?", wincing at the very thought of it.
"As for you, Bug-person, you should have been polite!", and she drives his head against the asphalt, frowning "Gods you are ugly. Now shut up, and relax, or else I am going to tell all kinds of horrid stories to the police about you. I mean it. Stop and behave, or you are going to get conned into a long time in the Raft!" Not that Cassie would do that to the poor mutant, but... he doesn't know it.
Tabby just jerks her bottom lip around jokeishly, watching Cassie lecture Litterbug. "Yeah!"
"Oh mai gawd!" was heard from behind. Tabby spun around to look: it was the woman who was manning the doors of the boutique, which looked to be a complete disaster of wreckage, post-car. She had some dirt smudges on her face, and she running over to the two. "You totes stopped that buggy guy!" she said, and held up two designer jackets: one denim, the other leather. "I want you to have these: for saving our lives," the woman said, turning to her side with a smile. A man with a camera took a snapshot of the three of them, including Litterbug in perfect synch of the woman's turn. "You've made our grand opening... memorable! Aheh, heh, heh!"
Tabs looked at the jacket, and then to Cassie. Free, expensive clothes. She flipped her right hand over to Cassie, a motion that would indicate either a handshake or a high-five.
"Tabitha," she said with a confident smile.
Cassie is one of those people who, despite of how she is, she is ALWAYS great in photos, and even when punching Litterbug tomorrow the newspapers will have the smiling, dazzling Wonder Girl carefully apprehending the offending monster with practiced skill.
And at that hand? HIGH-FIVE, hell yeah! A good fight and great clothes!? "Caaaa......Wonder Girl. Call me Wonder Girl. For now.", and she gives the other blonde a smart wink, so she knows it's just because of the cameras.
"Kkrkk! Krkrkrk!!! KKRKK-" - and Cassie punches Litterbug hard on the face, yet again, so he goes limp now, the plastic, Evening News smile Cassie does right after to the cameras making the whole scene look ridiculous, ending in laughter like an episode of Thundercats.
Oh, Litterbug, you rascal! You are going to jail!
Category:Log