Transcripts 2000-10

Transcripts from October 2000 strips.
==October 2 (beginning of Year 3)==
Panel 1Anne is standing over Kingston and wearing Richard's "dead smiley face" shirt while pointing toward the next room. Only Kingston's hat top is visible.Anne: Hay Kingston I'm going to make some coffee to try to shake this hangover. What some?Panel 2Close-up of Kingston, who has a silly grin and is sitting upright on the couch with his hat covering his eyes.Off-panel (Anne): Kingston?Off-panel (Anne): Kingston?Off-panel (Anne): Shit are you alright?Panel 3Concerned, Anne kneels down to lift up Kingston's hat and look him in his wide-open bloodshot eyes. Kingston doesn't move a muscle.Anne: Jesus Kingston, what the fuck have you been taking? You're really with the fairies aren't you?Panel 4Same camera view as panel 1, but this time Anne shouts in the other direction with a tired expression.Anne: Richard, before you get too drunk; what do you do if Kingston's is more dosed up than a American shot-putter?Off-panel (Richard): Nothing. Just wait until he snaps out of it. If he doesn't we'll just get him a job at Macdonald's.
==October 6==
Panel 1Anne is looking up and to the right with a curious expression. She is still wearing Richard's "dead smiley face" shirt.Anne: Norman, as Richard and Kingston are both too intoxicated to talk and as I'm bored I must ask you...Panel 2Norman is topless and hitting himself with a cinder block with a "WAP" sound, to the point of drawing blood. (Side note: Norman is missing his shoulder tattoo.) Anne is pointing at him with a scolding face.Anne: Why are you smacking yourself in the head with a breeze-block?Panel 3Close-up of Norman's face as he stops hitting himself long enough to look at Anne and answer.Norman: Trying to knock myself unconscious so that the pain in my head go away! Yes, stop brain hurting!Panel 4Anne crosses her arms and grins smugly while Norman resumes hitting himself, this time hitting the side of his head with a "WHAM!" as he looks away.Anne: I'd normally stop this but as it's you I could watch this for hours!Norman: Stupid brain! Stop hurting!
==October 9==
Panel 1Richard is sleeping face down on the floor topless/naked, with a bottle in his hand. A coffee pot and a pink mug are on the counter.Caption: To conclude; Sunday is still the day of rest...Panel 2Norman is sitting on the couch and leaning on the arm rest, holding the cinder block in his hand. His face is still bloody, and his "Ace of Spades" shoulder tattoo is seen for the first time.Caption: It's also the day of really bad hangovers.Panel 3Anne is vomiting into the toilet. She is still wearing Richard's "dead smiley face" shirt.Caption: But we still pray...Anne: BLEAG! ohGOD LET ME DIE!Panel 4Anne looks up from the toilet, mouth covered in vomit.Caption: ...And get revelations!Anne: Oh God! I think I kissed Norman last night!Footer Caption: Time to repent Saturday night's sins! Amen!
==October 13==
Panel 1Anne is wearing a dressing gown and angrily looking in a palm-sized (from the side) box. There is a basic "grass and sun in the sky" picture on the wall and a small blue vase on the dresser.Anne (thinking): Where the hell are they?Panel 2Anne is looking under the bed and grabbing a box with two up arrows in the corner.Panel 3The camera rotates around from panel 2 to show Anne's backside sticking out from under the bed as she hears a "BUZZZZ" sound, reacting with an exclamation point over her.Panel 4Close-up of Anne furiously shouting.Anne: NORMAN! KINGSTON! Are you two fairies racing my vibrators again?Panel 5Norman looks up and to the left, a worried expression on his face. Kingston is looking down in anger, clutching his fists and wearing a pink shirt with a white up arrow. A very loud "BUZZZZZZZZ" sound fills the bottom of the panel.Norman: Um... No.Kingston: God dammit! And I had a fiver riding on the big black one too!
==October 16==
Panel 1Anne is standing with her hands on her hips, looking cross and still wearing her dressing gown. A photo of Professor Ashfield is on the wall.Anne (thinking): Dammit! I should have known better than to shout out because no sooner as I did, those bastards would hide my vibrators!Panel 2Anne (or the camera?) turns around so she is facing right, looking pensive.Anne (thinking): I'm really horny too and with Richard out for a few hours... I can't even amuse myself by killing Kingston or Norman as they buggered off. Never mind I'll get those fuckers when they come back to watch the telly as...Panel 3Anne gets a mischievous look in her eye as a lightbulb with devil horns and wings appears over her head. A photo of Zebra Girl is on the wall.Panel 4Kingston is sitting on the couch and holding the remote, looking disgusted at a sticky substance covering the remote and his hands.Caption: Later...Kingston: EEEWWW! YUCK! what the hell is this stuff on the remote control?Panel 5 (inset of panel 4)Al smiles into the camera and leans his head slightly.Al: HAY KIDS! If you don't 'get' this strip then ask your mum. She's BOUND to get it!
==October 20==
Panel 1Norman leans into the panel from the right side, a mischievous look on his face. The background is a pale blue with a darker blue horizontal line going through it.Norman: Thanks to the BBC somehow thinking that the British public would give a shit about the American elections, I've been able to comprehensively get the gist of some of it. After judging both candidates I have come to a conclusion.Panel 2The camera is tilting so Norman is slightly leaning to the left but also farther out of panel than in panel 1. The background is 50-50 pale blue and darker blue, divided along a diagonal from lower left to upper right.Norman: Being English I'm totally unbiased in this and won't take sides. In fact why take sides at all? Both Gore and Bush have almost identical policies but still try to make out the if you vote for the other side, the economy will collapse and you'll be eating your dead within a year.Panel 3Extreme close-up of Norman's eyes. The background is rotated 90 degrees from panel 1.Norman: Also considering "the most powerful man on earth" still has to kiss the arses of big businesses and bow to the whim of idiots that somehow are allowed to vote, why do these boring little men want the job so bad anyway? "The button" is really a myth too so I can't see any real perks bar a nice house strangers trample through.Panel 4Norman has a sinister grin and is holding up a Molotov cocktail. The background is now pale blue with a darker blue triangle in the center.Norman: All in all, your vote won't change one single fucking thing, so why not feel really empowered for the first time in your life and not vote but set fire to some shit instead!?
==October 23==
Panel 1Kingston and Norman are sitting on the couch. Kingston is pointing at the television (off-panel, toward the camera) while Norman looks at him and leans back with his arms over the back of the couch.Kingston: What I never will understand about Scooby Doo is that even if Shaggy and Scooby where too thick to guess the ghost is another guy in a suit, why didn't they buy a gun after the first three times?Panel 2Close-up of Norman, looking more directly at Kingston and gesturing with his hand.Norman: It's quite simple Kingston. If they had a gun someone would cap Scrappy Doo at the first chance they would get for being so fucking annoying!Panel 3Zoomed out version of panel 1 but Norman is talking and Kingston is looking at him skeptically.Norman: What always puzzled me is that most of the Hanna-Barbara shows involve a group of fuck-wits, a guy in a monster suit and one or two annoying cute characters.Panel 4Normal zoom version of panel 3, but Kingston is talking and Norman is laughing.Kingston: It could be that they're not very original, or that they have an odd obsession with teenage girls and the occult!Norman: Yeah I thought Barney Rubble is the devil too!
==October 27==
Halloween Special
Panel 1Anne is dressed as Robin, and Richard is getting dressed as Adam West Batman, but he is having significant difficulty pulling on the mask. Anne is facing away from Richard but looking over her shoulder at him while standing next to a dresser with a small blue vase on it.Anne: See! I told you to try it on in the shop before renting it but you wouldn't listen!Richard: Ah shut up! It was your bloody idea to go as Batman and Robin.Panel 2Richard is still trying to pull on the mask. His fur sticks partially out of the eye holes. There is a picture of Hysteria on the wall.Off-panel (Anne): I haven't seen Norman's or Kingston's outfits yet. Who are they going as?Richard: Kingston is Dylan from the Magic Roundabout and Norman's going as Kurt Cobain.Panel 3Anne turns around to face Richard, looking perplexed. Richard has given up on the mask and is just standing, eyes covered. A picture of an unknown cameo of what looks like a pink Spider-Man is on the wall.Anne: Just out of morbid curiosity how does one go to a fancy dress party as Kurt Cobain?Richard: I'm not too sure but I know Norman's got his shotgun out and he's spent all day painting faces on ripe watermelons.
==October 30==
Halloween specialA transcription of song lyrics with the main cast dressed up as horror movie characters: Norman as Leatherface, Anne as Regan MacNeil(?), Kingston as Freddy Krueger, Richard as William Weir.SplattermaniaPlay, relax...ENJOY! 'cos we're frying tonight againIt's raw, unclean, uncut and it's all for the art of painJust make-up thereThe effects and the movies that twist the brain...My TV screen is dripping red,with gates of hell and evil deadI cannot wait to see it up closeso slice away and go for gross again!Chorus:It's splattermania, it's an extra censored thrillIt's splattermania, it's zooms in on the killIt's splattermania, I KNOW you think I'm illBut if you hold on tight and don't be shyWe're drilling brains and pulling eyesIT ISN'T REAL! the nation ain't in dangerIt's only splattermaniaEnd ChorusLucio! You're back! How we missed you when you were gone.Oh, now it's time to splat like you did in the Full BeyondC-C-C-Counting down the sickest way to slice and dice your teenage brain.In Traumaville the violence mounts to multiply the body count again!ChorusHigh rollingMmm...'Cos everyone's looking for someone to blame.Censorship rules, still the problem remainsYou watch with your eyes closed and still you complain
'Til no one has an independent thought in their brain...And it's always the sameChorusSidebar creditsA stupid S.S.D.D. Halloween specialArtwork (c) 2000 Alan Foreman.The song taken from the LP "Don't Be Happy, Just Worry..."by the Wildhearts and is copyright them.HTML footerHehe! I thought I would break from a strip for one week and give you this. Hope you like it. I know the text is a little crappy but it was a last minute thing. At first it was bigger and jazzed up but when I saw the 500kb file size I striped it down. Still… I think a song about horror films is good for this time of year no? Anyway I find it funny so there.
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