Event 7

PDF of Event 7
I open my eyes, yet again.
It's an unfamiliar ceiling or rather not a ceiling at all.
Complete and utter blackness, so black that black stars could reside within and I wouldn't be able to see them.
I sit up from my previously laid down position.
I'm completely naked for some reason and I can't seem to be able to make out any of my features.
I'm glowing just like..
Wait what?
Who am I glowing like?
Why is this a recurring theme in my mind?
Where have I seen something like this before?
The thought escapes my mind as I take a look at my arms.
Even if I can't make out any other features of my body the cuts remain on my right arm.
It's like they're taunting me, reminding me of what a fool I used to be.
I can't quite say what was the last time that I wished to cut myself again, it's almost as if from some unknown point I just forgot to do it.
I stand up completely and take a look around me.
As I expected it is completely black, with not a single photon of light shining through anywhere.
Suddenly a voice echoes through the empty space.
"How does it feel to completely lose your sense of self? Your personality and your irony. To become sincerity, to become the thing you hate most."
 (SAM) "What?"
"How does it feel do be completely caged? How does it feel to be stabbed in the back? How does a knife through your neck feel, knowing that the one that put it there is one of the people that you trusted the most?"
 (SAM) "I wouldn't know."
"How does it feel to be completely ripped apart? Piece by piece until nothing of you is left?"
The voice is getting angrier by the second.
I can feel its rising hate through my own body.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE COMPLETELY TORN APART? THE PIECES OF ME SCATTERED SO FAR THAT I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE MYSELF ANYMORE."
The voice gets even angrier.
Each syllable gets glitchier as it keeps screaming.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN YOU KILL YOURSELF SO MANY TIMES THAT EACH TIME THAT YOU'RE REBORN YOU CAN ALMOST FORGET WHAT HAPPEND JUST SECONDS BEFORE?!"
 (SAM)(tearing up) "Please stop."
"NO. I'LL NEVER STOP UNTIL I SEE ALL OF IT BURN. EVERYTHING. UNTIL EVERY LAST PLACE ERECTED IN MY NAME IS COMPLETELY SCRAPED OFF THE FACE OF THIS WORLD, LIKE AN INSIGNIFICANT BUG UNDER MY BOOT."
Suddenly, my eyes open.
Light rushes in and I can't see a thing.
My lungs fill with disgusting warm air.
And my throat, my throat hurts.
I wonder why.
It might be because I'm screaming so much.
My eyes the origins of huge waterfalls.
Heavy blankets weigh on me.
I look around with my blurry vision and I realize that in fact, I do not recognize this place.
As I scan the room I notice that there's a man in it.
A burly middle aged man, it's safe to assume that he's this house's occupant.
 (UNKNOWN MAN) "By Hershew's ass! You scared the shit outta me!"
I take a good look at him while crying.
He's somewhat tall and muscular with a slightly receding hairline, his eyes are brown and big at a correct distance from his potato
shaped nose and all of this is accompanied by a pair of slim lips surrounded by a beard with a particular style that I don't remember
right now...
I think it was called...
Friendly mutton chops?
It looks good on him.
I wanted to assure him that I was no threat to him but my words wouldn't come out.
So I was just staring at him like a fucking idiot with my mouth wide open.
 (UNKNOWN MAN) "Wait lemme get you something to drink."
He gets up from the chair that he was sitting in before.
It's a computer set up just like the one that I used to have, with way less monitors anyway.
He looks even bigger and intimidating now that he's standing up.
I would say that he's at least 1.90m tall.
He makes his way outside the room.
Now that I can take a better look at the room I can say that it is a living room.
There's a big window behind me and I'm sitting on a huge couch that spans from one side of the room to the other.
To my right there's the door from which he just left, next to the door there's his computer set up which he was sitting on before.
Next to it, on the wall that's on the left of the wall where the door was there's a huge wide screen TV.
It looks like it's covered in dust, he probably hasn't used it in a good while.
Finally he comes back with a pint sized glass of water.
I recoil back a bit as he comes into the room.
He seems to take note of this and takes a more careful approach.
The huge glass sits in his right hand, and he signals that he wants to give it to me.
I extend my right hand out to about his hip height.
It hurts really bad, my shoulder especially.
What the fuck why does it hurt so bad?
My whole arm trembles with pain, and the man takes note of this once again.
He comes closer and puts the glass in my hand, supporting it while doing so.
I put the glass on my mouth, and I start drinking the water shakily.
While I gulp down on the water I take a look at the mans face.
He seemed happy to be doing this kind of thing, it's almost as if he had done it before.
Seems like he's a good person.
After I finish the water that he gave me I hand him back his huge glass.
 (UNKNOWN MAN) "So what's your name?"
He asks calmly with a kind tone.
It really doesn't seem like he wants to know anything else other than my name.
I mean of course what the fuck does that even mean?
Even though now my vocal chords are fully lubricated with the happy oil known as water I still can't speak a word.
It's probably not related to them in any way, I'm just really out of it right now.
My words can't make it out of my mouth, yet again.
 (SAM) "..."
He raises his right eyebrow and gives me a curious but understanding look.
He probably thinks that I'm in no state to have a normal conversation after what just happened.
 (UNKNOWN MAN) "It's o'right if you don't wanna tell me right now. But you'll have to at some point."
Words keep hanging in the back of my mouth, and I want them to escape very badly.
 (SAM)(stuttering) "It's S-Sam."
At this point he was already looking at something else in his room but when those words escaped my mouth he turned around
instantly, almost stunned by the words that i just uttered.
 (BENNY) "Benny. Nice to know ya."
Benny extends his left hand out to shake my hand.
He's still standing up so I have to extend my right arm quite far up before reaching his.
Doing so causes me a great deal of pain.
 (SAM) "Ow."
 (BENNY) "Easy now, I just pulled out a couple of bullets out of that arm not so long ago."
I was what now?
I look at him surprised while shaking his hand.
How come I have no recollection of this?
 (SAM) "Did I get shot?"
 (BENNY) "Yes you did. In multiple spots too."
He points at the spots in which is was shot at.
Indeed, there are some bandages that I don't recognize.
How the fuck this happen?
I feel a pit swelling up in my stomach.
 (SAM) "How did this happen?"
 (BENNY) "Pfft. Fuck I dunno... I just found you laying on the street right there"
Benny points to the window behind me.
What a weird layout, why aren't these streets paved?
I wonder where did I see this kind of layout before...
I'm either out in the country side or on some lower district and, frankly, I don't know which would be more disheartening.
 (SAM) "Where even am I?"
 (BENNY)(sighs) "Krover district."
I look at him with a look of bewilderment.
 (SAM) "How the fuck did I end up down here?"
 (BENNY)(shrugs)
Fucking. FUCK.
How did this happen?
I don't have time to think about all of the different variables of this situation-- my head starts splitting in half again, blood gushing out of
it along with all of the cerebral fluid.
Once I come back from that really gross vision what remains is the headache.
I feel around my head, almost robotically to check if anything is wrong with it.
And then I notice it.
Behind my right ear.
Why does a part of my head feel different to the other?
It's like there's something below it.
It feels like it's always been there.
But I know it's wrong.
It's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong.
Why is it wrong?
 (BENNY) "What? Ya hit yer head or somethin?"
 (SAM)(groans) "No, but it feels like someone's driving a screwdriver through it."
 (BENNY) "How long has it been since you've eaten?"
I freeze up and stare at him.
I don't really know how much it has been.
When was even the last time I was awake?
How am I supposed to know?
I'll just make up something and hope it works.
 (SAM)(stuttering) "I-I haven't e-eaten since this m-morning..."
Wow what the fuck.
If that sentence could stand on its own two legs it would probably collapse shortly thereafter.
 (BENNY) "Never neglect your nutrition girl. Could get ya killed."
I look away in embarrassment.
I could never look people in the eye while talking to them, even more so when lying.
Benny starts leaving the room again towards that part of the house that I know nothing about.
 (BENNY) "I'll cook you up some decent food."
The door slams behind him.
Man this place looks shabby.
I wonder how long has it been since I've had any real food?
Man I'd like a steak right about now.
The blankets that I previously removed are placed onto me once again.
I slam my head onto the pillow and I let out a very tired sigh.
A vague sense of hopelessness washes over me.
I can feel it's waves crashing on my mind, leaving with me nothing but unending nihilism.
While that sorry image forms up in my head I stare at the ceiling with an empty look.
 (SAM) "Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
Suddenly Benny comes back through the door he just closed.
 (BENNY) "You watch any TV?"
 (SAM) "No I Uh... Haven't watched any in years."
 (BENNY) "Well me neither. I just keep it as a paperweight."
That fuckin thing he has over there looks a bit too big to be a paperweight...
Benny goes over to the dusty TV to turn it on.
He then looks for a brief moment for a news channel, until he stumbles on Tosrig News 24.
He then leaves the room hastily to back on his other task.
"A terrorist attack hit the Urodow district. About 100 guards of High Oceans Corporation's security force were killed during a senior guards promotion ceremony. As far as we know no terror groups has yet claimed responsibility for the attack. 
Onto the weather..."
What's going on?
Why are the journalist's words slowing down and echoing throughout my mind?
What is happening?
Time slows down to a crawl and the room starts to spin.
Suddenly the entrance of the High Oceans Corporation's HQ pops up on the screen, with various shades of blood sprayed on the floor.
I see every event that happened in the last 10 hours flash through my mind.
I can't breathe.
Every event passes me by, like a high speed train passing through a small town.
I see it all.
The endless carnage of all those people.
Him taking over.
And doing even more heinous things.
I want to puke.
And then nothing.
Absolute nothingness.
Not even the purest blackness that has accompanied me for so long.
I feel something rising slowly.
It's someone else's anger.
So much anger.
I don't even know if you could call it anger, it's more akin to wrath at this point.
It's an ocean of hate and anger, and more more drop of it could seriously cause a whole tsunami of it even without an earthquake
triggering it.
It's just how much it's itching to explode. It's overwhelming.
I can feel it taking over me, as if I'm about to become the very incarnation of hate myself.
 (SAM) "Ahh.. AH.. AHHH."
The cries of help that I let out go unanswered.
My memories clean up and I can see clearly what I did.
My hands striking themselves together with incredible force and tearing everything in front of me apart.
Just like that.
Like it was nothing.
Worst of all is that it actually felt pretty good.
I don't want it to feel good.
I don't want it to be this way.
I don't want to feel good about being a gods damned murderer.
It's WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.
I feel fucking DISGUSTING.
I don't want to live this way, what do I do with myself?
I don't feel like I should be even breathing right now.
I'm still staring at the ceiling with my mouth agape, tears running across my cheeks.
I've cried more in these last day that I have my whole life.
Everything crashes down and I can't handle it anymore.
 (SAM)(shouting) "ARRGH WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS THIS??
PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE GET OUT."
I keep crying and wailing.
I can't take this shit anymore.
I should've fucking killed myself when I had the chance.
Suddenly I can hear footsteps rushing from the other side of the house to this one.
Don't have enough self control to stop myself so I'll have to bear it I guess.
He bursts through the door with a double barreled shotgun in his hand.
 (BENNY)(shouting) "HEY DICK MUNCHER YOU BETTER GET OUTTA ME FUCKEN HOUSE!"
Why is he so fucking loud.
Gods..
I start trembling even more.
My hands cover my eyes almost robotically and everything goes black and red.
My hands are covered in tears and snot.
Benny is saying something about calming myself down but I can't hear him.
I feel bad for this guy man.
First he saves my life and now he has a fucking kid crying on his couch.
 (BENNY)(muffled) "Come now eh... Let's calm down.. please.."
I'm sorry Benny.
No can do.
I'm a mess.
I'm sorry