Pilot (Octopus Security Unit)

Pilot is the first episode of the first season of Octopus Security Unit and the 1st episode overall. It was written by , , and , and directed by TheJasbre202, and aired on July 6th, 2021 on Canary TV.
==Transcript==
[Begins with an exterior shot of the Krusty Krab, the building shakes with Squidward screaming "WHAT?!", we then cut to the interior of the dining area with Squidward stomping with paper in hand towards Mr. Krabs’ office.]
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, this is ridiculous!
[We cut to Mr. Krabs’ office, Squidward busts open the door, furious.]
Squidward: "Cashiers must put some of their own money into the register if it is a slow day" WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!
Mr. Krabs: As the Krusty Krab has been getting strings of slow days, I thought of a way to improve profit!
Squidward: That is a terrible idea! This only affects me!
Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob has to eat the patties he cooks that don’t go to use.
[Cut to SpongeBob in the kitchen, putting together a Krabby Patty, he looks through the order window, no one is around. He then takes a bite of the Krabby Patty he just put together, smiling, we then cut back to Squidward and Mr. Krabs where we hear sinister laughter from the kitchen.]
Squidward: I still get the back end!
Mr. Krabs: Well if you don’t like it then go on a break-
Squidward: Thank--
Mr. Krabs: -for the rest of the day as I find a new cashier. I am putting you into a temporary rate.
[Squidward’s eyes redden, we then cut to the exterior of the krusty krab.
Squidward: I QUIT!!
[The Krusty Krab shakes as he screams this, then shot of him walking out of the building and into his boat.]
Squidward: I am so sick of his greediness.
[Squidward enters the boat, and drives away, we fade to him, hours later with groceries in the boat, listening to Kelpy G while driving as he notices the small community of Tentacle Acres on his drive.]
Squidward: I’m sure they’re having a better life than I am.
[Squidward then looks over at SpongeBob and Patrick playing with bubble wands over Squidward’s yard, laughing, he then turns his boat around and drives to the entrance of Tentacle Acres.]
Squid: (on intercom) Are you alone?
Squidward: I’m looking for a job.
[The Security Camera looks around, the gates open, and Squidward drives through, a chorus song plays as he enters Tentacle Acres. A security guard stops him.]
Security Guard: You say you’re looking for a job?
Squidward: Yeah. Preferably one that doesn’t involve an annoying yellow sponge.
Security Guard: We have a few jobs open.
[We then cut to Squidward at the Carnival of the Squids as a food stand operator.]
Kid Squid: One Corn Dog please!
Squidward: (visibly annoyed but putting on a happy voice) Coming right up!
[He sticks a frozen corn dog into the deep fryer, a splash of the oil makes its way onto another tent, starting a fire, many Octopi scream and run away. Squidward looks shocked, the fryer dings. He takes it out and gives the burnt corndog to the kid, subconsciously, still shocked.]
Squidward: Here’s your corndog.
[A hand grabs the corndog, the corndog disintegrates into dust, we pan up to reveal Squilliam, who cut in line, visibly mad.]
Squilliam: This is the first, and last corndog you’ll make! YOU’RE FIRED!
Squidward: (notices) Wait. You can’t fire me!
Squilliam: No, but he can-
[A weird squid walks by, notices his remark and turns and talks.]
Squid: YOU’RE FIRED!
[Squidward looks heart-broken. The Security Guard sighs.]
Security Guard: I have another job for you to do.
[Squidward then looks happy, we then fade to him, visibly irritated. He walks up to a residence, and knocks on the door.]
Squidward: Mail, sir.
[We hear a dog barking, and then the dog rushes out and bites Squidward’s lower leg]
[Squidward screams. He runs into a person and falls down, cut to reveal it’s the security guard.]
Security Guard: I have a different job that may suit you.
[Fade to Squidward as a dentist, even more irritated.]
Squidward: (sarcastically) So, a cavity huh? That must suck.
[As he’s saying this he stops paying attention and ends up making additional cavities in the squid’s mouth causing them to scream and bite down on his hands, in turn, Squidward screams, and looks over as he screams and ceases screaming. The Security Guard and Dental Head are in the doorway. The Security Guard then facepalms. We then wipe to a bank interior full of Squid customers, the Security Guard is showing Squidward his desk as bank teller.]
Security Guard: (sighs) Look, this is the last job I can offer you, this is one that is least destructive, if anything too. Just be sure to properly make deposits and withdrawals correctly, okay?
Squidward: (beat) Wait, how do you know how to do these jobs if you’re just a Security Guard.
Security Guard: Like you said, I’m a Security Guard, I'm supposed to know what these jobs do incase newbies move into the neighborhood.
Squidward: But that still doesn’t answer my question.
Security Guard: Uhhh, uhhhh, hey look over there!
[Squidward looks over, and the Security Guard runs off, as Squidward makes an annoyed look, a customer walks up to Squidward.]
Customer: Hello I'd like to make a withdrawal.
[Cut to a time card of “3 minutes later” and the Bank is on fire, various Squids are running around laughing with money in hand, as another squid is on the ground panicky counting grains of sand, and Squidward is at his desk unfazed. The Security Guard looks through the doorway and is visibly shocked, runs up to Squidward.]
Security Guard: What the hell happened?!
Squidward: Well, you know how we have to enter a code to get into the money vault?
Security Guard: No.
Squidward: Well of course you do, well, I said the code out loud, and everyone in line rushed the place and raided the vault.
Security Guard: (starts to boil with anger, then stops.) Alright, maybe I do have one last job you can properly do.
Squidward: What is it?
Security Guard: Would you like to be a security guard as well?
Squidward: Sure! What do I have to do?
[The Security Guard hands him an image.]
Security Guard: Catch this menace.
[Reveal to a photo of Squidward at the Christmas Party. We then cut to him in jail. The Security Guard walks up to his cell.]
Security Guard: No worries, you’ll be out of here in a week, and you’ll start your new job as a security guard.
Squidward: You got it boss!
Security Guard: (wacks a bar with his baton) QUIET DOWN IN THERE INMATE!
Squidward: Ah yes… I think I’ll like it here… in about a week from now. (falls asleep)
[The end… of the beginning.]
==Reviews==
* Place your review here, with a letter grade, and sig!
* B - A lot like the Basket Sponge pilot; expository, criminally short, and leaves you needing the next episode. Luis~SBCA M C  #Laban Pilipinas!   04:37,07/9/2021 
Category:2021
Category:2021 Episodes
Category:2021 Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Octopus Security Unit
Category:Episodes Written by TheJasbre202
Category:Episodes Written by Cicicicity
Category:Episodes Written by DanzxvFan8275
Category:Episodes Directed by TheJasbre202
Category:TheJasbre202
Category:Cheese sauce fan 2007
Category:DanzxvFan8275
Category:2020s