Weird Sports Names

Weird sports names are a source of endless fascination among Poliners, and are usually spoken very slowly, one word at a time. Sometimes, the names aren't really that weird, but are given the same treatment anyway.
==Origin of Weird Sports Names==
As with most odd customs, the beginning of weird sports names has many influences. However, there are two main events which could be attributed to its origin. The first of which occurred when current downstairs Poliner, Aiden Dunne, pronounced the last name of Chicago White Sox First Baseman Paul Konerko as 'Konerkle'. This led Poliner associate John Hillier, present at the time, to remark on how much he loved silly sports names.
The second, and probably most influential event, occured during a Saturday morning watching soccer clips on Sportscentre. Those present, John Hillier, Aiden Dunne and upstairs Poliner Phil Howell (all very hungover at the time) noticed a player whose last name was Speed. All three proposed first names for the aformentioned Speed, including Adolphus and Francis. However, the discovery that Speed's first name is the very mundane Gary has probably led to his moniker becoming the quintessential example of all weird sports names.
==How Weird Sports Names are Used==
The usage of weird sports names is often a very random event and often they are only uttered by the Poliner sports fans including Phil Howell and Aiden Dunne as well as Poliner associate John Hillier and former Poliner Liam Peacock. Most times when one of these individuals hears or thinks of a new name the name is uttered in the typical fashion of weird sports names, mentioned above. Weird sports names are also passed along from one Poliner to another via the social networking website, Facebook.
==List of weird sports names==
*Milton Bradley (outfielder, MLB)
*Scott Clemmensen (Goaltender, New Jersey Devils)
*Ron Tugnutt (Goalie, Quebec Nordiques, retired)
*Balbino Fuenmayor (Shortstop, Lansing Lugnuts [Toronto Blue Jays "A" affiliate])
*Fausto Carmona (Pitcher, Cleveland Indians)
*Cal Clutterbuck (Right Wing, Minnesota Wild)
*Dustin Byfuglien (Defenseman, Atlanta Thrashers)
*Gary Speed (Midfielder, Sheffield United)
*TJ Fast (Right Wing, Peoria Riverman (St. Louis Blues AHL affiliate)
*Jonathan Quick (Goaltender, Los Angeles Kings)
*Paul Konerko (First Base, Chicago White Sox)
*Chuck Knoblauch (Second Base, Kansas City Royals, retired)
*Brooks Orpik (Defenseman, Pittsburgh Penguins)
*Dit Clapper (Left Wing, Boston Bruins, retired)
*Randy Cunneyworth (Left Wing, Buffalo Sabres, retired)
*Orel Hershiser (Pitcher, L.A. Dodgers, retired [Currently competitive poker player])
*Chief Kickingstallionsims (Center, Alabama State basketball)
*God Shammgod aka Shammgod Wells (Guard, Washington Wizards [Now playing in International Basketball League])
*Tristan H. Cockcroft (ESPN Fantasy Baseball Columnist)
*Shawn Horcoff (Centre, Edmonton Oilers)
*Wacey Rabbit (Center, Providence Bruins [Boston Bruins AHL affiliate])
*Valterri Filpula (Center, Detroit Red Wings)
*Gaylord Perry (Pitcher, San Francisco Giants, retired [Hall of Fame, 1991])
*Gaye Stewart (Left Winger, Toronto Maple Leafs, retired)
*Gaylord Peacock (1970s British wrestler)
*Randall Gay (Cornerback, New England Patriots)
*BJ "Bossman Junior" Upton (Center Field, Tampa Bay "Devil" Rays)
*Jeff Pilon (Offensive Lineman, Calgary Stampeders)
*Rich Pilon (Defense, New York Islanders, retired)
*Julio Lugo (Infielder, Boston Red Sox)
*Coco Crisp (Center Field, Kansas City Royals)
*Vinny del Negro (Forward, Los Angeles Clippers [retired])
*Stubby Clapp (Second Base, Canadian National Baseball Team)
*Garnet Exelby (Defenseman, Toronto Maple Leafs)
*Reteif Goosen (Professional Golfer)
*Rocco Mediate (Professional Golfer)
*Fred Funk (Professional Golfer)
*Mugsy Bogues (Point Guard, Toronto Raptors [retired])
*Mario Blitzak (Center, Vancouver Canucks)
*Girts Ankipans (Winger, Team Latvia)
*Miroslav Satan (Winger, Boston Bruins)
*Russel Jay 'Rusty' Kuntz (Center Fielder, DH, Chicago White Sox, retired)
*Kregg Lumpkin (Running Back, Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
*Ben Gay (Running Back, Cleveland Browns & Indianapolis Colts)
*Mike Rusin (Defenseman, Flint Generals)
*Brian Snitker (3rd Base Coach, Atlanta Braves)
=== People named Dirk ===
This deserves its own list.
*Dirk Von Hayhurst (Relief Pitcher, Toronto Blue Jays, author of Bullpen Gospels)
*Dirk Milton Graham (Right Wing, Chicago Blackhawks, Minnesota North Stars, retired)
*Dirk 'Disco Dirk' Nowitzki (Power forward, Dallas Mavericks)
===People named Dick===
This also deserves its own list
*Dick Sisler (1B, St. Louis Cardinals [Retired])
*Dick Butkus (Linebacker, Chicago Bears, retired [Hall of Fame])
*Dick Pole (Pitcher, Boston Red Sox, retired)
*Dick Trickle (NASCAR driver, retired)
===People with the last name Fucka===
Gregor Fucka - (Mister Europa Player of the Year, Basketball, Slovenia)