Burn and the Muffin

A sillyfic by Lorikeet. 
== Chapter 1 ==
Burn woke up and felt murder stirring her bones. SHE NEEDED TO KILL SOMETHING! Furiously she rose out of bed, rolled lazily down the stairs, and sat at her table holding a cup of coffee (which was something she didn't really need...). Guzzling down the caffeine in one swallow, Burn gave a relaxed sigh, UNTIL.
She.
Had.
Too. Much.
ENERGY!
Burn cackled evilly and knocked down the front door thingy of her stronghold. She romped in the sand, kicking dust in the guards' faces, her eyes rolling and her mouth drooling spit. She lunged toward one guard and killed him. Then she looked at the other one and began to tickle her. The guard giggled and rolled around. Burn joined in the rolling. Her plastic Barbie crown rolled off and snapped in two.
Two pieces of broken, pink plastic.
Burn looked at her fallen crown, her eyes wide. She picked it up and let out a piercing wail. "My crown! My crown! My lovely queen crown!" She turned on the ticklish guard and killed her in a heartbeat.
Wiping the blood and sand from her talons, Burn wondered what else she could kill this morning. It was such a nice day for killing someone. In fact, every day was.
"Not even my sister Blister can escape me today," sang Burn, frolicking in the sand. She stopped, eyes twitching from coffee withdrawal. Her energy had worn off.
Slumping to the sand, she groaned, "What the moons did I just do?"
== Chapter 2 ==
Burn woke up with a delicious smell entering her nostrils. Standing up with a creaking of weak joints, she squeaked her way back to her stronghold, opened the door, appointed two more guards to replace the dead ones, and went up the stairs to her bedroom. She licked a lemon and threw it out the window. She was a strong thrower, and the lemon flew all the way to the NightWing tunnel, into the rainforest, and onto Jambu's head. Jambu squealed in surprise and ate the lemon. He wondered why it tasted so sandy and spitty. He loved the new flavor.
Meanwhile, Burn looked around in her modern scavengers' refrigerator. She opened the door, feeling the unpleasant coldness stir her bones, and took out some random stuff that she felt belonged in a fridge: a tiny SandWing dragonet, shivering; a pot of tea; a daffodil; two rhinos; a pink Mustang car; and a muffin that she had stolen from Derpy Hooves.
"Hmmm, a muffin!" Burn mused, rubbing her chin. She slashed it in two with her claws. Throwing crumbs off her talons, she turned away from it to eat one of the rhinos. When she had finished, she found that...
THE MUFFIN
WAS
STILL
WHOLE.
SHE
HAD
NOT
SEVERED IT
IN TWO AFTER
ALL!
== Chapter 3 ==
Burn kissed her beautiful muffin, admiring its roundness. "Oh, Muffinbob, how handsome you are," she cooed, tickling it. They married and had sandy muffin babies.
Then Burn farted.
THE END.
Category:Fanfictions (Completed)
Category:Fanfictions (Fanon)
Category:Fanfictions
Category:Content (LorikeetRainwing)
Category:Genre (Comedy)