Monty Can't Buy Me Love/Quotes

:Homer: Oops, got an itch!
----
:Jerry Rude: Ever murder anybody?
:Mr. Burns: Murder!? Well, mistakes have been made.
:Jerry Rude: How long's your wiener?
----
:Homer: Well, if you wanted people to love you, you sure blew it with that insane rampage. But, you know what? To be loved, you have to be nice to people, every day, but to be hated; you don't have to do squat!
:Mr. Burns: You know, perhaps you're right! I got so swept over the notion of being liked; I completely forgot who I am … I'm a selfish old crank.
----
:Kent Brockman: Monster fever has gripped Springfield by the throat, and it's all thanks to one man. Montgomery Burns has captured not only a legendary monster, but also our hearts. And by the way, girls, he's single!
:Selma: Single? Well, he passes the Selma test.
----
:Marge: I don't know how you can all just lay around the house on a nice day like this. When was the last time we went for a good, old-fashioned family walk?
:Homer: We stopped those when the kids said I was too fat to carry.
----
:Homer: Aw, my feet hurt! All this fresh air is making my hair move! And I don't know how much longer I can complain!
----
:Mr. Burns: Anyone can lead a conga line. Come on, Smithers. (singing) Conga conga conga! We love Monty Burns more! Conga like you mean it! Please don't make me shock you!
----
:Mr. Burns: (about the Fortune Megastore) Books and cocoa in the same store? What's next? A talking banana?
----
:Homer: (to Mr. Burns) Gee, I feel bad. If people knew the real Monty Burns and not the silver-dollar-throwing morphine addict you've become, they might like you.
es:Monty Can't Buy Me Love/Frases