Balalaika

Sofia Pavlovna Irinovskaya, known by most as Balalaika, is the boss of the Thai branch of the Hotel Moscow crime syndicate, and is the current leader of the Top Hat Mafia. She is a Russian military veteran and was formerly a member of the VDV before joining Hotel Moscow.
She is easily identifiable because of her scars, which she obtained from being tortured by Afghans for protecting refugees, hence she has been called the derogatory nickname "Fry-Face" by several people, including the bastard whom she had to replace as leader of the Top Hat Mafia, Balan.
She constantly threatens to kill Balan, not only for leaving the mafia and causing the 500 L's for the Top Hats, but also because of his horror show bullshit.
== Biography ==
Little is known about Sofia's childhood. We don't even know about her birthday. But we do know something: she was raised by her uncle, who was a general in the Red army. However, her father left to get the Milk, either because he was condemned by Soviet Russia, or he decided to be a little baby and fled the country.
Due to her father's condemned status, she felt like she needed to restore her honor. Instead of competing in the Olympic shooting contest, she joined the damn VDV, also known as the Soviet Airborne forces, and became a paratrooper before fighting in Afghanistan.
In Afghanistan, she would see many things, including Nightmarionne, but she thinks she was hallucinating because she knows that emos don't exist. During the war, she would become a great sniper and as such received the nickname "Balalaika" (one of the Soviet army's slang terms for the Dragunov/SVD sniper rifle). She would later be promoted to lieutenant and would be redrafted into the Afghan area, where she would be promoted to captain and lead her paratroopers to glorious victories. Well, that was until the incident that got her discharged from the military that gave her all the scars during the end of the war in 1989, because she saved a few refugees. As such, the Afghans captured her and tortured her for 3 days straight, which involved hot oil, some fire, Tom's potato salad, a bit of Spametti, and a lot of Horror Shows. After being released from the torture, Sofia didn't learn her lesson. A few days later, she would be discharged from the VDV due to her breaking an international cross-border agreement in order to save a Child.
Soon after being discharged, she would meet a few people who would help her into the criminal underworld: those three being Topham, his wife Iwasaki, and his old business partner turned enemy Rugal Bernstein. Some hours later and a quick stop to her slain comrades' graves, Sofia, along with her VDV squad, joined the infamous criminal syndicate known as Hotel Moscow, a syndicate that rivals The Top Hat Mafia and Rugal's small cartel. She would go around crushing her enemies, before being given the rank of leader and soon went to the Femboy capital of the east, Thailand, where she would set up the Thai branch of Hotel Moscow there. However, she wouldn't forget about her business partners, and as such was frequently in contact with Topham and Rugal until his death in King of Fighters '95.
After hearing about the death of The God of Genocide Cuttah, Sofia made the funniest decision ever: hire the Lagoon Company to steal a disc containing blueprints to a Nuclear Bomb from the wreckage of the Black Noah so she could sell it to Morshu for OVER 9000 Rupees. She would make a lot of [DEAL$] and missions with the Lagoon crew, killing so many rivals whilst she did so. Everything was fine until she got a call from Topham.
== Taking over the Top Hat Mafia ==
After getting a call from her old business partner that the mafia was going to Hell because of a single person, Balan, who has been responsible for 5000 horror shows, was the main cause of multiple L's, and also the OROCHEESE threat. Sofia decides to help him by using some of her funds from Hotel Moscow so she could hold the King of Fighters 96' to bring out Char Aznable, Juno, and Waluigi. That was so they could deal with Goenitz, but it was a waste of time because she knew the true answer was to put the Top Hat Mafia in new leadership. She had a new plan: Wait for Balan to leave, and then take over the Top Hat Mafia because of her experience as a leader. After chainsmoking lotsa weed and cigars, she, along with her men, traveled to Top Hat Mafia headquarters where she would reunite with Topham before pulling a Gun on Balan, threatening to kill him if he doesn't show her any respect or refer to her as Fry Face.
She would explain to Balan's dumbass that weaponizing PTSD is bad, and began insulting how they allowed kids to join. After Balan left and never returned, Topham couldn't stop taking L's, so Sofia decides to save his Mafia and made a deal with him: She'll run the mafia, but in return, she wants half the profits. The deal was accepted, making her the current leader for the Top Hat Mafia. But soon she would find out that Rugal Bernstein was alive, and she found the person who revived him. Guess what she did? Sofia would tie Gremmie up before breaking all of his fingers and firing multiple rounds into his chest. Sadly, despite three of them hitting his heart, Gremmie would survive the assassination. It is believed Scampton brought his heart out to that scamp.
Sofia is currently working on a way to stop the other rival gangs from ruining her mafia by any means necessary, which she thinks will have to involve gathering her Hotel Moscow goons and calling up the Lagoon crew to wipe them off the face of the earth and dismantle their enemies.
== Personality ==
Balalaika is downright ruthless, willing to utilize whatever means to achieve what she wants. As a mafia leader, she has claimed that loyalty and UnDollars are her concerns, also remarking once that her motivation is to maximize her group's profits and eliminate anyone in the way by any means necessary. She has no qualms about killing Children, although she used to be hesitant to do so during the war, because of the Afghan children whom she and her men fought in Bikini Bottom.
On one occasion, Balalaika even admitted that she only lives to bring CHAOS and Dance, as long as she can "on the bottom of Fake Hell's cauldron."
== Trivia ==
* She still thinks that Goths don't exist.
* She survived a gunfight between her and Dedan.
* She has met the Deej and thought he was super cringe to the point of planning on sending her goons to attack and kill everyone in Nintendo HQ.
* She is one of the few people whom Topham trusts.
* The people who called her Fry Face include Balan, Topham, Dedan, Afghan, Rugal Bernstein, Mister Chang and UnPolice.
* She thinks that Juno and Kasumi should quit being in the mafia.
* She has tried to kill Judgment Boy multiple times for giving some of her captured goons the DIE Penalty.
* She smokes over 20 cigars per day.
* She might be the mother of Vesna the russian warcriminal.
* She was the one who put a bounty on Balan's head for 2 million UnDollars.
* She ordered the deaths of 2 kids because they tried to kill her. Well, she was responsible for the death of the brother, while a getaway provider by the name of Bighorn Elroy killed the sister in order to acquire UnDollars for his son's cancer treatment. He received his payment from Sofia. But now the twins are haunting her, and even top hat members can see them.
* She is in a friendly rivalry with Mister Chang
== Gallery ==
File:Savechild.webp|Balalaika saving Afghan Children.
File:10574338 556899587769178 8768223678179497727 n.webp|Balalaika moments after she escaped her torture.
File:Balalaika cigar night.webp|Sofia doing her favorite activity.
File:SofiaGun.webp|POV: You're Gremmie.
File:Black lagoon revy rocks balalaika cactus 1440x900 62806.webp|Balalaika and Revy try to get Topham to join her in playing loud obnoxious Spanish music to her next-door neighbor.
File:THECONSEQUENCESOFMYACTIONS.webp|"Topham, send help. The consequences of my actions, even though they deserved to die, have returned to haunt me yet again."
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