Ask the Human Fish What's on His Mind

Ask the Human Fish What's on His Mind is a bit where anyone can ask the Human Fish what he is thinking about at any moment. Callers can ask the Human Fish what he is thinking about, or ask him their own questions that he will answer. The Human Fish only communicates in 'battle format' where things have to be phrased as '___ vs. ___.' 
==History==
The First Episode
* Chips vs. Nachos: Chips 
* Andrew Lloyd Webber vs. Andrew Jackson: Andrew Lloyd Webber
The Third Episode Episode
* Howard Stern vs. Howard Hesse: Howard Hesse
* Greeks vs. Romans: Greeks
* Eastern Medicine vs. Eastern Parkway: Eastern Parkway
* Ice Cream vs. Frozen Yogurt: Ice Cream
* Batman vs. A Very Fat Man: A Very Fat Man
* Hot Dogs vs. Sausage Rolls: Sausage Rolls
The Tazapper Episode
* The Secret of Nimh vs. Watership Down: Watership Down
* Frozen vs. Solid: Frozen
* Jack Klugman vs. Tony Randall: Tony Randall
* Chairs vs. Benches: Chairs
The Whiffle Bat Gang Episode
* Traffic cones vs. Cylinders: Traffic cones
* Tornadoes vs. Whirlwinds: Whirlwinds
* Freedom vs. The Zoo: Freedom
* Human vs. Fish: No answer
* The Sky vs. The Dirt: The Sky
* Raw dog vs. Bareback: Raw dog
Truth or Dare
* Nick Nolte vs. Fahrenheit 451: Nick Nolte
* Did You Know That Fish vs. Was That Fish a Stranger: I Knew That Fish
* You Going to Miss Him vs. Was He a Bad Fish: I Am Going to Miss Him
* Feeling Better vs. ___: (Two thumbs up and a smile - going through a range of emotions.)
* John Cena vs. CM Punk: John Cena
Smash Cut to The Future
* I once felt bad because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet, such is the word of the human fish.
* Fish the band vs. Phishing the internet scam: Fish the band
Smash Cut to The Past
* What's on Your Mind? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
* You're only at the point where you can make grunts? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeuuuuueueeuuue
* Who is the king of the Jungle? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiunno
* Marathon or Sparta: Sparta
A Book Shall Be Written
* Are You Afraid of the Drak vs. Eerie Indiana: Are You Afraid of the Dark
* (In the world of the book) Christie or Ellen: To Be Continued
* The Human Fish commits seppuku out of depression because he can't have the one he loves (I thought he loved the carp) He did but then he fell out of love because love is fickle that way. vs. The Human Fish lives happily ever after.
The Blindfold Show II
* Fat Sal vs. Obese Oscar: Obese Oscar
* The Aztec People vs. The Aztec Temple: The Aztec People
* Unhappy or Happy About Tonight's Show: Unhappy
* Facial Hair vs. Body Hair: Facial Hair
The Softer Side of Shannon O'Neill
* Smoke Weed Every Day vs. No No No No That's Heroin: Smoke Weed Everyday
* Land vs. Home: (Mimes land and home becoming one)
* Shannon, Thank You For Being Here. (No Vs)
The Cans Film Festival 2012
* Fritz Lang vs. The Ritz Carlton: The Ritz Carlton
* Movies vs. Moves Like Jagger: Moves Like Jagger
* Snorlax vs. Lorax: Snorlax
* Aladdin vs. Bin Laden: Bin Laden
* Diary of a Wimpy Kid vs. Diary of Anne Frank: They're Both Fake
* Birds Eye View of the Road vs. A Long Dick That's Had Surgery: A Dick With Stitches
The Beef Off
* Stanley Kubrick vs. I Just Shit a Brick: I Just Shit a Brick
* Rob vs. Jesse: Jesse
True or False
* Benny vs. The Jets: The Jets
* (Thwarted chainsaw attack at school) True vs. False: False (wrong, ate a banana with peel on)
* I Was Going to Say You Should Call Your Band The Dumb Stupid Franklins (To Messenger Bag)
Lookin' at Dicks For an Hour
* Mike Tyson vs. Mike O'Malley: Mike O'Malley
* Who Has the Best Penis, Murph vs. Human Fish vs. Messenger Bag vs. Gethard: Four Way Tie
* Sausage Party vs. Sausage Fiesta: Sausage Fiesta
* The Butt Touch, Worst vs. Best: Worst
* Happy You Volunteered To Do This Bit Last Minute vs. Regretting It: Regretting It
* Read the Topic Online and Know What I'm Getting Into or Never Read It Any Week: I Can't Read
* Sporks vs. Forks: Sporks
Destroy-A-Toy
* Diary of a Wimpy Kid vs. Diary of Anne Frank: Diary of Anne Frank
* Piss vs. Chocolate: Chocolate (Human Fish asked Bobby Moynihan)
==Appearances==
* The First Episode
* The Third Episode Episode
* The Tazapper Episode
* The Whiffle Bat Gang Episode
==Gallery==
File:Human Fish 0003.jpg
===Videos===
==References==