2012 Power Rankings-Week 9

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Posted 10/31/12 at 1:03pm. ABC Easy as RGIII would become DiscountDoubleCheck.
Hurricane Brady rained fire on the Rams this week, as New England travelled to Old England and reminded everyone why Americans are better than the British. Meanwhile despite 1,000 receptions from Witten, butt fuckers didn't get enough to beat the top team. Meanwhile, The Storm absolutely destroyed ma ma momma said to keep playoff hopes alive. This has inspired the commish to rename "The Storm" "Sandy." Good job Sandy!!
Let's destroy these power rankings like Hurricane Sandy destroyed Coastguard House. womp.
1 (1). The Shotti Bunch
--Not as powerful a showing this week as in previous weeks and there are some positions (QB being one) that seem to be getting iffier and iffier. Interestingly enough, Shotti Bunch is the only team with two kickers and two defenses.
2 (3). ma ma momma said
--The inconsistency of Brees is a major concern moving forward. No RB or TE depth could come back to haunt this team as we approach the post-season. Big underperformance all around this week but still in prime position for a run.
3 (2). Julian Odinson
--Big win streak snapped this week due mostly to the bye week for Arian Foster. Got beat by the only winning team that didn't put up 200+ points. Can J.O. survive if Foster has an off week? Maybe a better question will be, will Foster even have an off week this season?
4 (4). Welker's Fingertips
--Another beastly showing by Welker's Fingertips this week as the big guns are starting to come off their byes. Monster games from Miami Defense and McGahee helped propel WF over the second-highest scoring team in the league this week. WF now needs to hope Miami can play like shit this week so Andrew Luck can put up big numbers like he did early in the season.
5 (6). ABC Easy as RG3
---The tough luck kid finally gets a W and is sitting in the 6th playoff spot right now. His 1743 points is better than 3 of the teams ranked above him. Unfortunately wins is what matters and he should get another this week against Why Am I Doing This (unless they go off again).
6 (5). butt fuckers
--Two weeks removed from the lockout and a tough loss to swallow against Shotti Bunch. Now they face a surging WF team. A handful of underperforming RB's could be this teams downfall come December.
7 (7). Boats and Hoes JV
--In a meeting with the commissioner earlier this week, BaHJV team manager vowed that his team will never drop in the power rankings ever again. Strong start to the resurgent team against Julian Odinson but an unimpressive 181 points in the win. Another easy matchup agains the reeling Tickle Me Ocho will be enough to get BaHJV on track.
8 (10). The Storm
--This Commish has always held the belief that credit should be given where it is due. Most team managers that talk a lot of shit and then lose a ton of games early in the season just give up. Nate has been wheeling and dealing non-stop and is still convinced he will win the championship. As annoying as it is, it's also admirable. And what do you know, the dude kicked some major ass this week. Watch out world. THERE'S A STORM COMING 'ARRY.
9 (9). Why Am I Doing This?
--What a performance this week. This team would have beaten anyone else in the league except for the one team they were playing. Very unfortunate for them, but also promising. With this potent lineup, I would not count this unit out just yet.
10 (8). Tickle Me Ocho
--From champion to bottom dweller in 8 short weeks. This is like Rocky 4 to Rocky 5 action. Will he ever get back to Rocky 4 form? I don't think so. Too many injuries and not enough knowledge of the free agent market. New champ just months away.