JMB The Ultimate Video Game Rap Battle/Newer Lyrics

the cooler daniel. some of these may not be fixed YET. tell the comment section lol i am but a mere unsigned account guy
 WELCOME TO THE BIGGEST GAMING BATTLE OF ALL TIME!
THE FIRST RAPPERS WILL BE:
PONG
VS.
BREAKOUT
BEGIN!
Pong Paddle (Voiced by WoodenHornets):
It's me Pong, I smoke a bong, I fuck blockbreakers with my long dong.
I'm OG, drawing first, pushing balls to your mouth dawg!
I make breakout break up with a mental breakdown
Everything you say will bounce off me and break onto you, poopy clown!
Go play with my balls, I'm the winner you see!
I'm a literal bar. You're just a skinnier and tinier pussy!
I'm black and white. I'm the face of racial equality!
Teabag you with my balls! MC P Rabbit says you're a schlong covered in white pee!
Breakout Paddle (Voiced by JMB):
Nice try Ding Dong, but you’re spitting at whack angles
Unlike you, I can keep balls out, honestly, you’re such a shamble!
Your flow is even worse than your consoles, I’ll stick with the Odyssey
I present a single player challenge! You’re a two player party novelty!
Look at my color screen. Stop seeing everything 2 colored.
Smashing gaming charts like bricks, I'm you, but I feel less duller.
Your games are so blandly simple that it’s hard to write a diss to
So go back to your court and play with your variable resistor!
Invader (Voiced by SuperThingsOnCups):
It's time I blast your bunkers and send you all to hell!
Unlike me your game won't help people Breakout of their shell
Invading your wastes of personal space
Just look at the facts that you can't really face
We'll War through the Worlds when I break my inspiration
Spla-boom boom pow from the alien crustaceans
See, you've got zero Intel to process this diss, pricks
Beep beep, bitch, burst your bricks into eight-bits
Asteroid Ship (Voiced by Adam Purski):
And to think that this battle had almost gotten worser
Well I bring more fear than a 2D cursor
With a press of the button, sounds like victory to me
Multiply by three, oh wait it’s just these wannabees
Flow more smooth than my game, you’ll be in total panic
When I...right into this Invader’s flawed mechanics
I can’t stand it, I’ll handle it, I’m illest at beating planets
I just gave these losers game overs, so you might as well can it
PAC-MAN (Voiced by Rock n' Ronald):
I’m wakka walking in, I snack on a pill, abadon your ship.
With my jaw wide open; bout to spit sick ghostly shit!
The original gaming pimp displayed in the ‘Sonian
Escape from this bit of gaming rapping symposium
I take a pill from Mr. Shady, I make y'all feel blue
I'm a legend, famous OG of the Golden Age, you obscure poo!
'Cause I'm Pac-Man, you're Whack, Man, so take my Pac-Glans as a Snack, Man!
Then call Pac the Milkman. And I rise like 4/5ths of Raisin' Bran!
Donkey Kong (Voiced by RLYoshi):
How whackawhacka, run back to your Light Buds,
‘Cause I’ll take Puck-man’s kind to the fridge once I’m done!
I’m the king of the man made hill, with the first cutscenes as I reckon,
Expanding the King Kong’s lore gives birth to the legends!
Got more charisma than most of you, even when I’m Cranky,
Paved a way for my buddy to swing back punches in his Country,
Try and stop me, Universal doesn’t have what it takes,
Edibles to beat ghosts, they're not real! Suck my weed cake!!!!!!!
Pitfall Harry (Voiced by TVNicholasKrauss):
The classic side-scrolling treasure, and I’ll be the one to slam ya
I’m swinging through these vines like an 8-Bit Indiana
Spitting limitless Gold Bars, like my legacy, you *Pitfall Harry sound effect*-ggot
Lick my ass, NFT. I left Atari in greater thousand bag-its!
Prepare disses, traps and tricks, I’m ready to fall
Playing with you so called pioneers is like facing a Brick Wall
Jumping on crocodiles heads for a living, I’m not caring
Pitifall Harry Potter, I smoke pot with d-o-double-gs so daring.
Bomberman (Voiced by MarioWorldGuy):
The White Bomberman’s here, beating these Balloms with aplomb
Erupting this battle by generating bombs from my palms
With a Bomb trap in his back, Pit’s end up all the same,
Like when your sequel went super and delved into the pit of shame,
Not even an artificial comet could expunge me and my Planet
Humiliating these fails, less careful than a bunch of bandits
Right now, I’m not so Cheerful, this maze won’t be so spacious
When I detect you flops coming and emit this blast radius!
Tetris Blocks (Voiced by B-Lo Lorbes, Mr. MapleSyrup, MultiSuperVids, & MetalFireVA):
There’s no way you’ll be stopping this Russian puzzle machine
The classic graphic building blocks who shaped the entire gaming 80s!
When our tetrimino rhymes drop out your lines, it won’t be no level cheater,
Run back to where you came from cause here comes the rap Fever!
We’re stacking up our bars whilst geometricians adore,
We'll build our way up to the top; practically made the Commodore!
A demoman’s fame couldn’t blast away any of our colored walls
Because we laid the foundation and changed gaming once and for all
Mario and Luigi (Voiced by Stofferex & VGRB):
We're the Snoop Dogg of Nintendo, bitch. We're riding you like Yoshi.
An odyssey to kick your bum. burn your cock like Hibachi!
You have zero personality. I put my stick and you're wiped out.
You descend from Mother Russia, but like Yoshi, we're your daddies, don't get your knives out.
Yo, bro, what should we do about these worthless sticks?
I say we snap them in half, they think they’re tough like bricks
You and winning doesn’t fit just like a wrongly placed piece! (Woo-hoo!)
Take my throbbing L like the next thing this holds in stock! Uhhhhhhhh, Peace!
Link (Voiced by LyricalGamer):
The hero of time is here. hacking slashing through this massive horde
Hear these ocarina chords as I'm dashing with the master sword
Lash a gash in your back so fast like a mat you’re attached to the floor
While I unmask and extract the act of impassible gore
Just relax relapse into that nap that you've been asking me for
I could subtract my passionate actions along with this adamant core
and you still couldn't match my caption with your inadequate lore
You see, I separate good from evil you and I are far from equal
Just one arrow shot into the dome make your game not have a sequel
Mega Man (Voiced by Jetman):
Out of all the people here, you’re by far The Weakest, Link
I’m a Mega Man, growing in fame, as I watch you shrink
Cap-coming for the win, I Rockman this mic all night
You’re Mega Busted, you’re  fighting the creation of Dr. Light!
Even Twilight has a better love story than your Princess!
Tremble to your knees like Wily as you’re begging for forgiveness
Blasting this elf back to his forest when I put you in your place
Spit iller than a Roboenza Virus as I drop the Bass
Samus Aran (Voiced by Mel):
All these protagonists are Zeros, more plain than the Base Suit,
Ridley’s Ripley, Prime-d with a Screw Attack just for you!
This Mega-Boy’s the Nerf of games, facing the blood of the Chozo
The reigning bounty huntress, you’re all playthings,  Amiibos!
Blew-Mother Brains with my gender, a planet bustings what I send,
Yet not as massive as the shadow stood in by this Other M!
Even with a Dark Suit, I could see your loyalty’s misguided,
I made Nintendo what it is today, boys, don’t you get too excited!
 
Ryu (Voiced by SethIsMe):
I thought I found worthy opponents, but I guess I was wrong
You won’t be able to beat me when I'm five times more strong
My fists are ready to punch! The True Dragon has arisen!
And I’ll send you all flying with a SHIN SHORYUKEN!!!
Leave your heads spinning like a Tatsumaki Sen puk yaku!
You’ll all be screaming, when this Raging Demon has struck you!
My punchlines aren't joking, they can't be broken! But in the meta I'm broken.
And I’ll blast you all away when I unleash my HADOUKEN!!!
Scrooge McDuck (Voiced by Yobar):
Your raps are all flat just like you all are visually
Diss me? I’m rich, see? The epitome of games from Disney
Got the golden lines like Midas, leave y’all in peril!
It’s Scrooge but this ain’t no Christmas Carol!
Heart blacker than Beagle Boys and MLK Jr. so I’m chasing racism to slay them like clouds!
Webby'll shoot your butt and have you moan the dime out loud!
When Glomgold put a plague on me, on y'all MC Duck spits ill.
Burn you like Greece's GDP, I mint fresh like dollar duck bills.
Captain Falcon (Voiced by Pool):
Come on! I’m about to kick it! Send that duck straight back to his number one dime!
Like your gold dragon I'm robbing you blind if you don't quit wasting my time.
I’m the blue falcon with rhymes so falcon kickass kick killer!
And Kentucky Fried Chicken isn't an OKFZero spitter!
Your season 2 and 3's mediocre like Evangelion or some beans.
Flattening a shameless tie-in that’s only famous for the Moon Theme!
Your game's short as your pecker. Pick on you like a Peking Duck!
Show me your moves in bed, y'all. I don't care if you ran out of fucking luck!
Sonic the Hedgehog (Voiced by ShadyVox):
Snazzy performances, the Blue Blur’s coming in
You’re all too slow, I’m faster than the falcon!
Try to catch up with this flow, spit hot like chili dogs
The beast is Unleashed, not talkin’ ‘bout Werehogs
Mr Duck ‘n Karate Kid with more tricks than Robotnik
Drinking up every Falcon Punch; My Spindashes’ll feel like roadblocks, it’s
Causin’ Chaos on cheap arcade games
Ain’t echkiddin’ ‘round takin’ my Knuckles to your face
Keep up the Act! Pop more caps popping capsules
So stop your prattle, Orbinaut at all careful
Raps? I’m overlappin’! Wish to battle? You’ll be flattened
This Sonic Team? I’m the captain! Rascals askin’ to be damaged
Kirby (Voiced by Zander Peers):
Quit it! I spit extra epic shit, I'm Mr. Hip-Hop-Pop Star slippin!
I imitate foes with a grippin' suck, that's why you act like a huge dick.
You ain't fast or fly as Halberd, is that all, nerd? Your name is Ogilvie.
You blow as hard as you did during 06; and all your furry ""fanart"" forces combined, baby!
You did like, two loop de loops, then went downhill, you're going to drown from a hill
Lovecraft doesn't love me, even if you rap faster than light, how does darkness feel?
Swallow my rhymes, cleanse that semen, Pink Demon eating up like lunchtime!
You’re only known to use your legs since you can’t make a punchline!
Sub Zero (Voiced by Stofferex):
You just beat 0², now you just rooted back to prequels, fucking mortal!
I drop bombs far away call me Clash of Clans Mortar!
You beat Dark Matter, racist. But I bet Jim Crow had class!
The Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, who will kick some gaming ass
Call me Red Dead Redemption 2 when the horses slide up to a mountain, dude!
Because my raps are cold, pink testicles shrinking, seething even. I'm on top of you!
I'm a Dream Landlord, and let me tell you, you're evicted.
I banged a girl with a DDD cup size. You're deflated as I predicted!
Fox McCloud (Voiced by Dusk):
General Pepper assigned to me to blast these punks without a blaster.
Dream Landlord? Elsa, call me Krueger. I'm your dream's Landmaster.
Shatter and scatter it! Barrell rolling through your disses, splat gore from forty of Ice Ages of Uranus! Ding! (a toaster appears)!
You're more 2D than Andross. A recolored Scorpion! But you can't even sting!
A fox doesn't need socks for a cocky cold lock as white as snow!
You're like Rambo who just had sex with water dispenser of a blow!
I’ll Ar-wing it and dump on this masochistic frosty milkshake shart.
Clash of Clans Mortar? I'm quick, running up to your blind spot. Then I do that ""thing"" in my fanart!
Ness (Voiced by VinnyO):
Okay! A vixen just appeared! Came out from a furry cum fiesta!
You might've slayed Clash of Clans Mortar, but I shock like PK Hidden Tesla! Ha!
Dodgin' freshly, ness possessed a bitch who's certainly no Star, Man.
Slippy can’t shake guys off; Peppy’s stuck in a barrel roll, can't clash without a clan!
You coward, wanna see a PSI power?
Here's a doggy-styled Captain Kirk, here's my girthy Inferno Tower!
If your team of four face Giygas? Total Brainshock!
Psst, your lover Falco? He looks like Crazy Frog!
Ahahahaha!
Crono (Voiced by Fable):
Trigger’s pulled when you Chrono Cross timeless Samurais
No Truce between us as this Titan of time is too fly
Blessed by Gaspar to save the present and the solar system
I gave life to RPG’s, you’re giving a fetus no competition
Earthbound to cry for Mother when you fail like the Chancellor
You striked, but had no balls to face Akira’s Commander
Inferno Tower? Tesla? I'm the RPG Giant!
In the End of Time, you're irrelevant, so lick my feminine Vagina!
Crash Bandicoot (Voiced by Stofferex):
Whoa! I'm Crashing in, Bandiboycotting’ everyone I’m facin’
Smash you harder than a cock, master of the Playstation
I travel time better than you do! Smell my taxingly deadly Cherno-bill Air!
I'm hopping islands, stoppin’ Cortex and blowing up TNT, you piss hair!
There are 500 Guys like you! And I'd rather eat Taco Bell, pooper!
And I’ll stomp on this Saiyan who sure is far from Super!
My Minion nemesis put up more of a fight than these knuckleheads and gold diggers!
Chrono Trigger? Hahahaha! more like Chrono Ni- (CAW!)
Lara Croft (Voiced by Leannaire):
Crash Bandicoot? More like Racist Ass Crack Bandicong!
I'd rather travel boring temples than get sniped by Pharaohs or Vietcongs!
That's a Pitfall into Uncharted Waters only I could conquer
Womandiana Jones pass through ruins, and caves, and temples. You're crackhead conker!
You're against a Legend! This will be your Last Revelation!
An Angel of Darkness, Crystal Core on Saturn and Playstation!
Go underworld boners, snuff the Cradle of Life full of Copium, hater!
With flows like Atlantis, call this Rise of the Tomb Raider!
Cloud Strife (Voiced by WoodenHornets):
Interrupting your sunny day when the Cloud drops thunder
Against two RPG kids who’d lose to me in a game of numbers
And this failed excuse for a heroine that I outsold five-fold!
You three mean nothing to me except more XP and gold
Flowing like the lifestream, diss harder than my Ultima Weapon clashes
No punch or kick can compare to my limitless Omni Slashes
I’ll bury all y’all like an avalanche; no strife for this bounty
Join the one winged angel as this is your Final Fantasy
Banjo and Kazooie (Voiced by Frenzy & Skeep☆Tieel):
Time to weed out mr. anus loosestrife, we’re the kings of Rareware (GUH HU!)
We'll split and stretch you like the cash cow remake that's one game of 15, don't you dare.
Freddy Fazbear here bites hard among big unsquared phoenixes!
Two-wings here going to burn your shitty city. Leave it Ae-ripped like your penis!
Locked your heart out of Tifa's touchy pussy, but you're not exactly alone.
europe's governmental mafiosos too! But they won't feel your pain as Banjo bones.
Final Fantasy? My ass, you got like million sequels and spinoffs!
What we did that Sephiroth didn't? Put your head on a spike if you didn't fuck off!
Spyro the Dragon (Voiced by Mat4yo):
Enter the dragon so fly, hi! I’m Spyro!
With wickedest of cowlicks and boiling fire flow
I'll drop you faster than how your Microsoft dick master after Threeie!
And run over you like your faith to the series with one of your lego cars of weenies!
I'm a real Skylander, so lick my throbbing Kazooie like mail!
I'll shit on you two and your children like Subway Guy Jared's epic fail!
Your franchise fell off hard, it's like you're divorced, watched em fuck eachother, and gained some mass!
Fuck you man, suck on my floppy nuts and bolts, lego car ass!
Solid Snake (Voiced by Frank Summers):
Otacon, touchdown. Messing with a Snake's bad for your health
Because my poison leaves Ground Zeroes when I dispense with my stealth
You ought to reboot your verse, because you'd be a waste of a Fulton
A C4-wielding Hayter's in your midst, so now's time to start boltin'
See through Activision with a Solid Eye, can't mask Phantom Pain
Crawled through woods like a Snake Eater, you against me is just insane
I fucked your mommies with my SOLID SNAKE!!! So you truly ain't smooth and slick!
With a lyrical Nikita blast, my raps are solid like the balls you're about to lick.
Pyramid Head (Voiced by RLYoshi):
On your mind, now off it, made killing an art form
My head's in a pyramid. I can't lick my balls you moron corn
Bust a Buster with a Great Knife harder than all of Fox’s
I waste more people than you waste cardboard boxes
You’ll be shaken to your hearts, your flesh paper, bones brittle
Make you seek a Brookhaven, definitely need a hospital
This is the Bogeyman’s Homecoming, rapping at my core
leaving you like Otacon, soon this’ll be a slippery floor
Trainer Gold (Voiced by Joshua Tomjin):
A wild trainer appears! vanilliite raps you ordered?
PLEASE go garchomp on my penis! Or I'd use steel types to square those corners.
Your franchise is forgotten, something you should reminisce
I’m golden like my lines, you’re less selected than Kris
Blazing like a Cyndaquil, with Totodile like flow
Chikorita putting out the grass, running at what it throws
My journey and victory’s what I’ll always evoke
You’re like an empty Pokedex given by Professor Oak
The Sims (Voiced by JMB, TheSuperPlushyBros, & Joshua Tomjin):
This is the era of the Sims, the real life simulation
With the best selling games, inspiring a generation
I’m spewing the Simlish disses to knock rejected Red!
If you’re gonna Poke-buse, go host a cock fight instead
Give up, you guys will never receive Aspiration points
We spit it virtually indelible, we never disappoint
Step into our territory, you’ll learn that it’s quite serious
Once you’re vanished right after the 25 day period
Master Chief (Voiced by HyperJacob96):
Cortana said to ride out these sucker phantoms,
These Sims are more convoluted than their expansions
Combat has Evolved, you'll all fade to black
You'll be bitch slapped even worse than The Didact
I’m a Spartan super soldier kicking ass since childhood
And I'll cut you down more than an energy sword could
So let us reach a Covenant, for all of us to agree
That it's best to stand down against the Master Chief
The Lich King (Voiced by LemonCheng24):
This means Warcraft! My Icecrown will leave you with a Halo!
As Frostmourne devastates Sims worse than a tornado!
As Ner’Zhul guides me I’ll bring a Scourge upon these strangers
Spitting a Blizzard that is colder than Chief’s sleep chamber
With a flow ancient as Azjol-Nerub I’ll burn you by the Legions
Put an end to these furries, call it an Open Season
It’s the Wrath of the Lich King, you have awoken Arthas
All life must end, though I seem to be heartless
Sora (Voiced by The Aussie-Can):
Dream Droppin’ in to spit some bars from the darkness
It won’t take many incarnates to know that you are all Heartless
I'm Sora. You're mom is a Whora. I can tell she had sex with Finn!
Be in the limelight then become Nobodies in the process
All of you will remain locked up in a Chain of Memories
I Roxas the mic with the Keyblade to unlock true victory
You all don’t have the Heart to accept your Kingdom come
My abilities were Birthed by Sleep, so you’d better just succumb
Viewtiful Joe (Voiced by NIIC The Singing Dog):
There’s no originality for this boring Cloud clone
Got my V-Watch applied, I’m taking the gaming throne
I’m a superhero! Don’t need time reversing to save me
Get ready to lose your Life Marks, Henshin-a-go-go, baby!
Try and escape from this Viewtiful whipping in Mach Speed
Film this beating on VFX, going slow-mo in 2D
No need for burgers when I make you all feel Captain Blue,
Unleashing the Six Machine! Like the Jadow, you’re screwed
Gordon Freeman (Voiced by EDXBeats):
I’ll break down your engines, and fix this at the Source
Revolutionizing things is the par for my course
So, with a Shotgun to the verse and a Crowbar to the face
I’ll destroy those who oppose the PC Master Race
Speaking my mind is usually against my policy
But I bet you’ve never seen a G Modernize flawlessly
You're just a pathetic, depressed weaboo clown.
So, It’s time to for you to wake up and smell the ashes, or drown!
Kratos (Voiced by NemRaps):
You dare step to a God? You’ll  just create a game War!
Step to the Ghost of Sparta and taste hordes of Minotaurs!
I ended Freeman’s spree, start spamming your controller buttons,
My moves are iconic, your defenses are all for nothing!
Clean the sewer pipes with a space-hog, I don’t need  pieces of Croft, I’m killing you off like Ares
I’m a demigod, you don’t scare me!
Sweet fluid movements, you could compare me to Jaffe cake
Thought that you could defeat me? Ha! That’ll be your last mistake!
Wander (Voiced by Kevin Krust):
After the battles I’ve fought in and the wars that I’ve seen
I stepped up so that I could reshape the game industry
I’ll remain dormant while Dormin guides my flow
While I demean any one track franchise in mono
You’re all failures, poor ungodly souls
After Colossus? I’ll easily cut down these trolls
I evolved gaming, you’re all pre-rendered crap
I didn’t Wander into battle, I rode in on horseback
Amaterasu (Voiced by Leannaire):
Okami on, the Shinto’s the only one who tries?
I’m heaven’s illumination, beware this deity’s fiery cries *Giggles*
With my Celestial Brush I’ll draw this battle out
Paint a picture of Wander, this David’s bladeship’s in doubt *Howls*
Embody the Sunrise, this wolf’s hounding in the Yen!
I’ll keep flowing, like I’ve an Inkfinity Stone with no end
Tower over colossi as I take Kratos’ like Nagi’s duty
Seize victory and bring more terror than I did as Shiranui
Robloxian (Voiced by CMRB):
If you duel with this Robloxian, you better start to speed run
I’ll slash you in a sword fight for stepping to the Builder’s Club
Like many of my Obbys, I’m difficult to beat
I don’t give 2 Robux! I’ll leave you noobs in defeat
Wanna search my flaws, noob? Duck-duck-go.
I'll get under your 6 nipples to lick your TOES!
I’m getting badges and tickets, you’re getting banned in the end
Ha! Even Mr. Rogers wouldn’t want to be your friend!
Desmond Miles (Voiced by Froggy):
I’m known for putting men to silence; you should do so with your verse
You can look to me for guidance, like an eagle on its perch
Eavesdropping rhymes, and I’ll loot you with precision
There’s no time for remission; you couldn’t see me with Eagle Vision
I'll take a leap of faith, sneak attack and give you scars
Then rap Miles around you! I'll end you like a Templar
It's the end of your world! Your ass-assin’s creed is history!
Altair's descendant has left you nothing but a memory
Niko Bellic (Voiced by Nathan Provost):
I’m stealing the spotlight, you’re one to pity!
Because I'll mug you punks like Liberty City!
And this won't be pretty, always brave enough for gritty
While Desmond here couldn’t simulate titties!
Something my cousin likes to blabber about,
But I don’t need to mention peers just to make these bitches shout
From this Grand Theft lyrical crisis that I’m commitin’
With this shotgun, I’ll spread you fuckers out like the pigeons!
Cole MacGrath (Voiced by Dusk):
Woke up from the explosion, looked around to see
These retro pricks trying to face me and my electricity!
Eclipsed by Saint’s Row? I was there First, son
Feel the wrath of MacGrath, delivering real hurtin’
Mr. Freeman assumed he could escape through the “Steam Valve”!
But D Conduit’s confirmed your karma can’t cross my Power Canal
Twice any All-Star, I’ll really be getting into this
First Light shines, your games are all InFamous
Red Bird (Voiced by MaNCHA):
GTA Definitive Edition, my ASS! u glitch.
GTA 5 for this, for that. Your quality's still Nintendo 64 Bitch.
Took an haram kingdom down while you got sinful whore harems! So google
that! and go home back with a real Veste-backer when facing a global mobile mogul!
Bring three times like the blues, bunch more cocks for your lazy copying ass!
I drop mighty bombs when there's too much pussies, call me Clash of Clans Eagle Artillery, I knocked you, cope and touch grass!
You're a hack that'll never come back fresh, unlike my pal Hal!
You got a Playstation with 3 GTAs, but then a GTA with 3 'Stations, for fucking hell!
===King Dedede:===
You're schooled, bitch, that's why your raps are straight up triple Ds, dood!
I clobber dededeez balls, turning 'em blue like testicular torsion, you crude!
You're abused, mr. submissive Rovio's bitch, you'll never be top, you unpowerful bottom waste!
I eat up tons of stolen food; but tell me, how does data from children taste?
Tell me, swollen scrotum, can they milk a cow for 12 fucking years!?
With spinoffs and half assed movies, stole all of money, soul and tears?
My jet hammer will knock more of your faithless apps after patient zero, leave a mark! Capisce?
8th level since your raps missed your dream landing, you're immediately replaced, you should feel fear!
Ethan Mars (Voiced by JMB):
You’ll  find that I can flow harder than Shelby’s crane
Hitting with more power than some flappy birdbrain
Paige’ll put on the page that I take the stage
Planet Popstar? More like poopstar, where a fatass got beat by a mage!
Like Jayden’s drug pain my win’ll buzz like triptocaine
Treat Postman Pat with disdain, your profit’s gravy train
My raps slay like the Origami Killer, your raps are DDD tier since Brawl, which no one'll main!
With my rhymes pouring down on you like a Heavy Rain
Alex Mason (Voiced by Kyenza):
Heeding the Call of Duty, Black Ops'll leave you in the dark
A bigger battlefield than Battlefield to take you punks apart
I'll tear this planet, just like too much Origami!
Put down Silent and the real quiet, just like Konami!
This battle's a bigger drag than Dragovich, ask Reznov
May not be Zombies but I'm still good for taking heads off
Lethal as a tomahawk as my lyrics arc towards their targets
Don't need Advanced Warfare to show you I'm the hardest!
Steve (Voiced by Fel):
I'll show this non-advanced warhead how to mine and craft some Copium, sheesh!
I call your series super pooper cookie cutter that my parrot's seething, capisce?
I can carry few million pounds of gold, and fly some more with elytra. You can't defeat
the elite, meat-eating, cave colonising, wither beater, so meet and greet
the guy who truly called duty, defeated a dragon with the same bed to sleep through your raps!
Slash a non-threatening vet flexing his luck-based no-scopes and crap!
Call me Doodoo all you want, I'll enchant Black Cocks II to your asshole!
You can't survive the night, spaghetti arms, grab a shovel and dig a grass hole!
The Traveler (Voiced by Emo Owl):
Set out on a Journey to make you lose as you're lost,
To now the only one amongst you who can really walk their talk,
Now The Traveler's attacking as all your scarves unraveling shittily,
I’ll be a Glowing Symbol as I start my Descent to this atrocity.
Hairstyle lookin like Zuckerberg, complexion simply like almond cookie.
I'll stab you with your own Diamond Sword, and lay a brrraaaap of a rap dookie!
All I did was take a trip, and I sold faster than Notch sold out
You wish this was multiplayer so it’d only be a wordless shout....
Joel and Ellie (Voiced by JMB & ArcaidianSonnetVA):
After everything we’ve been through, thrust into ridiculousness
Unstring Tom Baker’s scarf because we’re in the graphics business
Walk around these living like the undead, know it’s our time
Unload the El Diablo on this Shorty of a walking wind chime
Doesn’t take an apocalypse to show you don’t have no flOw
Or blades, wits or gameplay,  I could take you down with an arrow!
I’ve smuggled in a way to ensure that you’ve lost your guts
*zombie grunt* Accept your fate. I’m chosen to be the Last of Us.
Shovel Knight (Voiced by HarryPotter2875):
For foes like this, I won’t need to steel thy shovel
Pounding through your raps like dirt with the dust knuckles
I survived through knights, phantoms, and kings, and moles
While Joel almost died from a rebar pole
I went from indie to mainstream in just mere days
Take advice from me;  free DLC for play!
You have a sequel so shit! Everyone hated it! It's like a bulls' Anus!
I'm eating you cretin crackers with an ice-cream spoon on my chest-plated greatness.
The Sole Survivor (Voiced by Josh Chicester):
War.... war never changes…
Two hundred years ago, I started a journey
Culminating in putting retro gaming on a gurney
This so called knight hasn’t seen a real man
My Brotherhood’s steel, not Desmond’s Ad Victoriam
Institutionalize, run railroads underground undercover
I’ve got the commonwealth, two flows, Cryo-fire brother
This is real gaming, players fallout from your aged doctrine
Game over for this Dogmeat, I took the Nuclear Option
Geralt of Rivia (Voiced by Jim Van Dusen):
A Master Monster Hunter, sole survivors can't kill me
I set the world on fire with a splash of Igni
I use my witcher senses to give families some help
While you're too busy farming and dooming the Commonwealth
The gaming critics on my side, squash out the bugs you're ridden with
Bethesda’s quite the letdown, shoulda left it to Obsidian
Geralt has taken this battle, let me make myself clear
There's a reason why I won the Game of the Year.
Flowey (Voiced by Freshy Kanal ):
hi its flowey to defeat geralt of riva , rise to rivian just take a show
i will kikll you ,come to your nut nack unless flowey contest
slaught you hunter , im the monster , youre a fool , thats
that seems , crazyies , and trivius , and its your romances
Haha ha .
=== Heihachi (ending) ===
Holy shit! This crap rap's going up for too long, yo.
I'm going to seal the whole ordeal with a sick kickass kick combo!
I was napping since Pong made a fucking penis joke!
I'm surviving from cringe through a sliver of health. I'm pulling my rage art, you blokes!
Who needs rap battling when you can actually battle!
I'm going to deny Cuphead from pouring ecstacy juice like a real fist of metal! (punch!)
And also fuck you Freddy Slowbear, fuck you Bowser, fuck you imposters too! Fuck you Hollow Knight.
I'm going to actually go beatdown and drop you to the cliff! Fuck y'all with a series of kicks from a good night-
FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
[All of them get beaten to oblivion. It was nothing but a bloodfest. They all got shoved down a volcano. The end.]