Donkey Kong Country: The Legend of the Crystal Coconut/Transcript

Transcript of Donkey Kong Country: The Legend of the Crystal Coconut.
(Paramount Pictures (1986-2002) Logo)
(Nelvana (1995-2005) Logo)
"Donkey Kong Country: The Legend of the Crystal Coconut"
(Scene begins at night, with a view of Inka Dinka Doo's temple)
Inka Dinka Doo: Inka Dinka Doo says the time has come.!
(Scene cuts to Cranky Kong's cabin, as we see Diddy Kong see his reflection from the Crystal Coconut)
Diddy Kong: Hey! I can see my reflection! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! [Snickering] Oooh!
Donkey Kong: (searching Cranky's fridge) Got any banana cream pie?
Cranky Kong: When are you two knuckle-heads gonna let me get some sleep?
Donkey Kong: Just as soon as I get a little midnight snack. Future rulers need their strength, you know.
Cranky Kong: You silly chimp! Get away from there! It's not a toy!
(He closes the case containing the Crystal Coconut)
Diddy Kong: Movie star! (laugh)
(The case closes on Diddy's finger)
Diddy Kong: Yow!
Cranky Kong: That'll teach you!
(The case opens, the coconut reveals itself again and heals Diddy's finger)
Diddy Kong: (surprised) Hey! It doesn't hurt anymore! The Crystal Coconut took my pain away!
Donkey Kong: Hey, Cranky, what else can the Crystal Coconut do?
Cranky Kong: I don't know. No one knows all the mysteries the magical orb holds. It's a mystery why I'm still talking to you two! Now, let"s get some sleep!
Diddy Kong: Can't sleep without a bedtime story! Ooh, tell us the one about the legend of the Crystal Coconut again!
Donkey Kong: Your stories always makes us tired.
Cranky Kong: Ehh... all right... But then you"re out of here! Gone, scat, vamoose!
DK & Diddy: Deal!
Cranky Kong: It all began with Kaptain Skurvy's great-great-great grand-pappy. He stole the Coconut, brought it to the island, la-la-la... Scabby scum swindler that he was, etcetera, etcetera... He stashed it in the eye of Inka Dinka... Coconut plopped out, blah-blah-blah... DK found it, yadda-yadda-yadda... Deemed future ruler of Kongo Bongo... The End!
Donkey Kong: Yeah, but why did Inka Dinka Doo pick me as future ruler?
Cranky Kong: It beats the bananas out of me.
Diddy Kong: But, what about the Crystal Coconut?
Donkey Kong: Yeah! If I'm gonna be ruler, then I should know all the secrets.
Cranky Kong: You'll know all the secrets when Inka Dinka Doo thinks you're ready. Until then, I"ve got a little tip for you, DK.
Donkey Kong: Yeah? What's that?
Cranky Kong: GO HOME AND LET ME GET SOME SLEEP!
(Scene cuts to DK and Diddy walking out of the cabin at nighttime.)
Diddy Kong: Hey, you think Cranky brushes his teeth before or after he takes them out?
Donkey Kong: I don't know, little buddy. Seems like there's a lot I don't know.
Diddy Kong: Don't sweat it, DK. You'll find out when you're as old as Cranky.
Donkey Kong: Why can't I know everything right now?
(Scene cuts to DK and Diddy, inside Inka Dinka Doo's temple)
Diddy Kong: Uh, maybe we shouldn't bother him, it's late.
Donkey Kong: No, Diddy. I'm the future ruler, & I want answers now! Hey, Inka! Ring-a-ding-ding! It's me, DK, the future ruler of Kongo Bongo. We got business to discuss.
Diddy Kong: Oh, you did it now, DK. He's gonna blow! 
Inka Dinka Doo: Inka Dinka Doo says the time has come!
Donkey Kong: You bet it has! I want some info!
(Song starts, as he sings, "Tell Me Everything")
Donkey Kong: 🎵I wanna know the secrets that the crystal holds🎵
🎵And all the magic power that it brings🎵
🎵I'm the big Kahuna! I should know what's going on🎵
🎵Inka Dinka, tell me everything!🎵
Inka Dinka Doo: To know everything...
You must give up everything...
Donkey Kong: 🎵"Give up everything"? What on Earth does it mean?🎵
🎵It could mean my subscription to the Ape Quarterly🎵
🎵I just don't get this, Inka! I'm number one!🎵
🎵I'm ready right now, so why the big mystery?🎵
Inka Dinka Doo: To know everything...
You must give up everything...
Donkey Kong: 🎵Give up my autographed picture of my idol King Kong🎵
🎵Or my ticket to the Dingling Bros. Circus show🎵
🎵Could be my Planet of the Apes trading cards🎵
🎵Inka Dinka, tell me what to let go!🎵
Donkey Kong: To know everything, I must give everything. (Song ends) Hey! Little buddy, I'm giving you my tie collection.
Diddy Kong: I think Inka Dinka Doo is probably looking for something more important than that, DK.
Donkey Kong: What's more important than my tie collection?
Diddy Kong: The Crystal Coconut, for one!
(DK getting an idea)
Donkey Kong: That's it! I have to give the Crystal Coconut away!
Diddy Kong: I was kidding!
Donkey Kong: I'm not. Once I give the Coconut away, I'll know all the secrets, so I won't need it anymore. Oh, it"s so simple!
Diddy Kong: Who you gonna give it too?
Donkey Kong: Who else?
(Scene cuts to King K. Rool's Lair, as we see General Klump, and Krusha with the coconut)
Klump: King K. Rool! Your royal roughness! Supreme scaliness?
(They hear King K. Rool grumbling, throwing books around in anger)
Krusha: He's in a bad mood.
Klump: My news will cheer him up, el pronto! Sir, General Klump reporting! I have some news, and it is the A-1 rank of importance, sir.
King K. Rool: Klump! Didn't I say no news, no calls, no tyranny until tomorrow?! It's a bad villain day!
Klump: Uh, but sir, I really think this"ll cheer you...
King K. Rool: Listen, you incompetent cretin, I want to be left alone! That means no one, nothing, no interruptions!
Klump: But sir, I really think you're gonna like this news as it's regarding the Crystal...
King K. Rool: (interrupts him again) GO AWAY!!!!
Klump: Guess we give the Crystal Coconut back to Donkey Kong.
(He hears this, and swiftly comes down from his study)
King K. Rool: (shocked) The Crystal Coconut?
(Klump shows the coconut to King K. Rool)
King K. Rool: Triumph... Victory... Success... At long last, I, King K. Rool, am the ruler of Kongo Bongo Island! (Laugh maniacally)
King K. Rool: How did you get the Coconut anyway?
Klump: Well, sir, first, I titled the operation, "the bloody battle of the baboons." I then set up surveillance of the enemy, and like...
King K. Rool: Okay, never mind. The important thing is that at long last, the Crystal Coconut is mine! Mine... Mine! (laugh) And no one... but no one... is going to take it from me!
(Scene cuts to Kaptain Skurvy's ship, then we see Skurvy and his crew at the beach)
Skurvy: Arrr... Kongo Bongo Island! I've come to claim me birthright, the Crystal Coconut, in the name of my great-great-great grand-pappy.
(Scene cuts to Skurvy in his ship, as he sings "Pirate's Scorn")
Skurvy: 🎵Arrh, when I was a young lad, my father said to me🎵
🎵"Arrh, lend an ear and learn some pirate history!🎵
🎵Once a fearsome pirate ruled the seven seas🎵
🎵He was your great-great-great-grandpappy, Quint Skurvy!"🎵
🎵He told me tall tales of his ill-begotten gains🎵
🎵But the greatest treasure of them all still haunts me to this day!🎵
Skurvy, Green Kroc, Kutlass: 🎵I'll make you swab the deck and then I'll throw you in the brig!🎵
🎵I swear I'll make you walk the plank to right the wrong you did!🎵
🎵The day you mess with Skurvy, arrh, you'll wish you were never born!🎵
🎵When the Coconut is mine, then you'll feel this pirate's scorn!🎵
Skurvy: 🎵He hid it in an idol where it stayed for many years🎵
🎵But the eye of Inka Dinka Doo did shed the crystal tear🎵
🎵It lay upon the ground until, much to my surprise🎵
🎵A stupid ape just wandered by and snatched my treasured prize🎵
🎵He discovered it possessed extraordinary power🎵
🎵But stealing it from Skurvy would be his darkest hour!🎵
Skurvy, Green Kroc, Kutlass: 🎵I'll make you swab the deck and then I'll throw you in the brig!🎵
🎵I swear I'll make you walk the plank to right the wrong you did!🎵
🎵The day you mess with Skurvy, arrh, you'll wish you were never born!🎵
🎵When the Coconut is mine, then you'll feel this pirate's scorn!🎵
🎵When the Coconut is mine, then you'll feel this pirate's scorn!🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Arrh!🎵
(Scene cuts back to Skurvy at the beach)
Skurvy: And I pity the land-lubber shark bait what tries to stop me. If my name isn't Kaptain Skur... Ow! On my honour, I swear on the great-great-great pirate oath... Ow! To grant any favour to the swamp-sucking sea-scum scallywag that can rid my off this... Ow! Painful toothache.
Kutlass: But the pirates don't have honour.
Green Kroc: That's"s why we's the scourge of the seven seas. We be pure scum!
Skurvy: Aye, there be no more fearsome scourge scum than I, but the pirate oath is a pure and sacred thing, mates. Me great-great-great grand-pappy taught me that right after he stole the Crystal Coconut, fair and square. Speaking of which, it's"s time to do what pirates do best.
All: Steal booty!
(Scene cuts to Donkey Kong returns to the temple of Inka Dinka Doo)
Donkey Kong: Inka, future ruler here. I did exactly as you said. So, start doling out them secrets.
Inka Dinka Doo: (angers) To know everything... one must give up everything...
Diddy Kong: Uh-oh, I think you goofed, DK. And when Cranky finds out...
Donkey Kong: No sweat, little buddy! I'm gonna be ruler. What can Cranky say?
(Scene cuts to Cranky in his cabin)
Cranky Kong: You did what?!
Donkey Kong: I wanted to know all the secrets.
Cranky Kong: So you gave the coconut away to King K. Rool?! What were you thinking?
(Then Skurvy and his crew arrives)
Skurvy: Avast ye!
Diddy Kong: (screams) Pirates! Thieving thug sea-dogs who sail the seven seas looking for booty to loot.
Skurvy: I'm sorry, have we met? I've come to claim me birthright, the Crystal Coconut, and I pity the land-lubber shark bait what tries to stop me. If my... ow! (He clutches his jaw) On my honour... ow! I swear on the great-great-great pirate oath... ouch. To grant any favour to the swamp-sucking sea-scum scallywag that rid me of this painful toothache!
Cranky Kong: Pirates don't have honour.
Donkey Kong: That's why you are the scourge of the seven seas!
Diddy Kong: You're pure scum.
Skurvy: Aye, there be no more fearsome scourge scum than I, but the pirate oath is a pure and sacred thing, mates, and if there ain't nothing pure and sacred... etcetera, etcetera... Now hand over the Crystal Coconut, or I'll blow you to bits!
Donkey Kong: We don't have it!
Skurvy: Then who does?
(Scene cuts back to King K. Rool in his lair with the coconut)
King K. Rool: (laughing) What will I do first? Herd the apes over a cliff? Plough down all the banana fields?
Klump: Yes, sir! You finally outsmarted those smart alec chimpanzees. A fine victory indeed.
Krusha: But, uh, General, Donkey Kong just gave us the coconut.
King K. Rool: (shocked) What?!
Klump: But that is not the way it's going down in the history books, Krusha!
King K. Rool: He just gave it to you?
Klump: Well, uh... yeah... kinda...
King K. Rool: You massive lunk of wasted brain matter! I knew there was something odd about this victory. Don't you see? It's a trick, a setup, a scheme, a scam! Those monkeys are up to something, but whatever it is, I'm going to outsmart them.
King K. Rool: Klump, return the Crystal Coconut, immediately!
Klump: But...but sir! It's been your lifelong battle to get the Crystal Coconut.
King K. Rool: JUST DO IT!!
(Scene cuts to three groups running through the jungle, Krusha and Klump trying to give the Crystal Coconut back, Donkey Kong trying to get the coconut back, and Kaptain Skurvy and his crew trying to steal it for themselves as they all sing)
Klump: 🎵We gotta give the coconut back, or else🎵
🎵King K. Rool is gonna have our hides🎵
Donkey Kong: 🎵I can't believe I gave the Crystal Coconut🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Aar! All I wanna do is get me booty back🎵
🎵Defend my honor with lootin' and lies🎵
Donkey Kong: 🎵Maybe, if I hurry, it won't be too late🎵
🎵I got to give it the old banana try🎵
Klump: 🎵Gotta bring it back!🎵
Donkey Kong: 🎵Gotta get it back! Take it back!🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Gotta scarf it back!🎵
Krusha: 🎵Gotta give it back!🎵
Klump: 🎵Take it back!🎵
Klump: 🎵At first he said to steal the Crystal Coconut🎵
🎵Now he's forcin' us to give it back🎵
Krusha: Uh, he's confusing me...
Donkey Kong: 🎵Cranky's gonna kill me if I fail this time🎵
🎵Looks like I set things back a century🎵
Skurvy: 🎵OOOWWW! I always knew that smugglin' would keep me in shape🎵
🎵I wish my tooth would just stop hurtin' me! Ooowww...🎵
Donkey Kong: 🎵I guess there's more to knowing how to be a king🎵
🎵You've got to see beyond the mystery!🎵
Klump: 🎵Gotta bring it back!🎵
Donkey Kong: 🎵Gotta get it back!🎵
Krusha: 🎵Take it back!🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Gotta scarf it back!🎵
Krusha: 🎵Gotta give it back!🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Take it back!🎵
Klump: 🎵Gotta bring it back!🎵
Donkey Kong: 🎵Gotta get it back!🎵
Krusha: 🎵Take it back!🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Gotta scoff it back!🎵
Klump: 🎵Gotta give it back!🎵
Donkey Kong: 🎵Take it back!🎵
(Song ends)
(Meanwhile in King K. Rool's lair)
King K. Rool: I hope those two homespun idiots have gotta rid of that cursed Crystal Coconut. It's already been a bad villain day.
(Donkey Kong bursts into his lair)
Donkey Kong: Banana Slamma!
King K. Rool: Oh, great.
Donkey Kong: Uh, I want the Crystal Coconut back, uh, please.
King K. Rool: You want it back? (realized it's not a trick) You... want... it... back?! All the stupid... You mean I had the coconut and I... I cannot believe... Oh, is there no justice...
Skurvy: Avast ye! (Skurvy arrives at his lair)
King K. Rool: & who are you?
Donkey Kong: Not again...
Skurvy: Arr! Kongo Bongo Island family heirloom, yadda-yadda-yadda... Claim me birthright, great-great grand-pappy... Pity the land-lubber shark bait what stops me. Yadda-yadda-yadda-yadda...
Skurvy: (talks to DK) What was the next part?
Donkey Kong: Uh, your tooth?
Skurvy: Oh, yeah. OW. (He clutches his jaw) On my honour, grant any favour, yadda-yadda-yadda... swamp-sucking scallywag to rid me off this toothache, doing what pirates do best: steal booty.
King K. Rool: Pirates don"t honour anything. They are pure scum who steal booty.
Skurvy: Aye, speaking of which... hand it over!
King K. Rool: Hand what over?
Skurvy: The Crystal Coconut.
King K. Rool: I don't have it, you imbeciles! I ordered my general to put it back!
Donkey Kong: AAHH!!
Skurvy: AAHH!!
(they rush back to Cranky's cabin)
(Scene cuts to Cranky & Diddy in his cabin)
Cranky Kong: Where's Donkey Kong? He should've been back by now.
Klump: Hip hup, hip hup.
(They turned around, & see Klump and Krusha all the way from across the bridge with the coconut)
Cranky Kong: Klump, and that big no-brain, Krusha.
Klump: General Klump here on official business from King K. Rool. We're returning the Crystal Coconut.
Cranky Kong: It's a trick. Diddy, prepare to launch the trigger barrels.
(Diddy runs off, & getting ready for the trigger barrels)
Cranky Kong: Sure! Come on in!
(& As they come in, Diddy jumps on a trigger barrel, in which it triggers a trap, Klump & Krusha screaming as they fall down gap in boardwalk)
Klump: Strategy one: run and punt.
(They run and punt to Cranky's cabin)
Cranky Kong: Now!
(Diddy jumps on a trigger barrel, & flinging Klump & Krusha)
Klump: Strategy two: bungee-barrel.
(Klump getting shot out of the cannon, then Diddy jumps on a trigger barrel 19 times, flinging Klump and Krusha into the air)
Klump: Strategy 17, 18, and 19... failed! (as he's flinging into the air, & land into the wilderness)
(Klump knocks the door, Cranky opens the door & realized that it was not a trick)
Cranky Kong: Well, what do you know... (Slams the door in their face) It wasn"t a trick after all. Nothing can go wrong now.
Diddy Kong: Unless... the pirates come back?
Cranky Kong: (realized) We're sitting ducks! I gotta warn DK!
(He hands Diddy the coconut and transforms into a hologram using it to warn Donkey Kong)
Diddy Kong: Wait a sec! (frightened) If I'm protecting the coconut, who's protecting me? I gotta take the coconut some place the pirates will never think of looking for it.
(Scene cuts to the jungle, where Donkey Kong stops swinging to rest for a second)
Donkey Kong: I'm must have a lead. I can't see Skurvy anywhere.
(Then Cranky, as a hologram appears)
Cranky Kong: What are you doing, you numb-skull?
Donkey Kong: Going back to your cabin.
Cranky Kong: Klump & Krusha just returned the Crystal Coconut.
Donkey Kong: Oh, that's great!
Cranky Kong: No, it's bad. The pirates are still after it.
Donkey Kong: Tell me about it.
Cranky Kong: Then what are you waiting for? Diddy's all alone, standing guard.
(Cranky's hologram disappears, DK leaping out of the tree, then cuts to Klump & Krusha in the jungle)
Klump: Wait till King K. Rool hears how successful are mission was.
Donkey Kong: Making Tracks! Coming through!
(Lands on Klump, & runs off, then cuts to King K. Rool contacts him through video in his lair)
King K. Rool: Klump, are you lying down on the job again?
Klump: Uh, no sir! I have excellent news.
King K. Rool: I'm the one with the news, so shut up, & listen.
Klump: We did it, sir. We beat them monkeys at their own game.
King K. Rool: Will you shut up and listen to me! There's been a change of plans. Do not... I repeat... do not take the Crystal Coconut back to Cranky. Bring it back to me.
Klump: Why?
Krusha: But why?
King K. Rool: BECAUSE!!! Everyone is after it, including the pirates.
Klump: What pirates?
Krusha: What pirates?
Skurvy: Our of my way, whale bait!
(Kaptain Skurvy ran over Klump)
King K. Rool: That one!
(Then Green Kroc ran over Klump)
King K. Rool: And those ones!
Klump: Ten-four. Over and out... (passed out)
(Scene cuts back to Cranky's cabin, then Donkey Kong arrives)
Donkey Kong: Don"t worry, little buddy. I'm here to... Huh?
(He sees both Diddy and the Crystal Coconut are gone)
Donkey Kong: Where could he have... (figured out where he is) Aha!
(He leaves Cranky's cabin)
(Seconds after, Skurvy arrives at the cabin)
Skurvy: Avast ye! Huh?
(He sees the coconut is gone, figures out where it is)
Skurvy: Aha!
(He leaves the cabin)
(scene cuts to Cranky returning to his physical form)
Cranky Kong: Okay, Diddy, don"t worry. DK should be here any... Huh? What the? (Notice that he is in the temple of Inka Dinka Doo with Diddy) We"re not in my cabin. What are we doing here?
Diddy Kong: I wanted to hid the Crystal Coconut somewhere that the pirates would never ever ever find it.
Kutlass: Avast ye!
(Green Kroc & Kutlass arrive the temple)
Green Kroc: Hand over my captain"s treasure!
Diddy Kong: (frighten) Okay, okay... I"ll hand over the Crystal Coconut, just...just as soon as one of you big goofus doofuses makes me!
Cranky Kong: Donkey Kong!
(Donkey Kong enters the temple)
Donkey Kong: Back off or I"ll have to slam ya!
Diddy Kong: DK, how did you find us?
Donkey Kong: I thought you"d go some place that the pirates would never find you!
(Then Skurvy arrives the temple)
Skurvy: Avast y-OW! (he clutches his jaw) Shiver me molars!
Donkey Kong: You know, you really ought to get that tooth checked out.
Kutlass: Who is the goofus doofus now, mate?
Diddy Kong: (nervous laugh) Uh, that"d be me. (He throws the coconut to DK, & runs off)
Green Kroc: After him!
(The pirates running after Diddy)
Cranky Kong: Now do you see all the mess you've caused by your snooping?!
Donkey Kong: I was only trying to find all the secrets about the Crystal Coconut.
Skurvy: Well, you needn"t worry your big ugly head about that now, matey, because it belongs to me. So hand it over.
Donkey Kong: You can"t have it. It belongs to me.
Skurvy: I got a hand cannon here that can prove you wrong.
Donkey Kong: But...but I'm the Future Ruler of Kongo Bongo.
Skurvy: (laughs) 'Future ruler,' you?!
Donkey Kong: I'm warning you.
Skurvy: (mockingly) Oooh... Well, shiver me timbers!
Donkey Kong: I'm still warning you...!
Skurvy: (laughs) That's a good one matey! Me Great Great Great Grandpappy, may he rot in Hell, would be rollin'! He loved a good joke! And you're the biggest, ugliest one there's ever been! Har-har-har! 'Future ruler!'
Donkey Kong: You want it?! You GOT it!!
(Donkey Kong throws the coconut at Skurvy, hitting his face and knocking the aching tooth out)
Cranky Kong: You knocked out his tooth!
Skurvy: Why you... Hey, my toothache"s gone! Arr... Well, blow me down! Ha har! And shiver me timbers! It's turning out to be a good villain day after all.
Cranky Kong: Not so fast! According to your great-great-great pirate oath, you owe Donkey Kong a favour.
Skurvy: No, no, no! I'd be walking the plank before I...
Cranky Kong: (interrupts him) No, no, no. I heard you loud and clear. You said, "On my honour, I swear on the great-great-great pirate oath..."
Skurvy: Okay, okay. I can"t bears to hear it again. Name your booty, Donkey Kong.
Donkey Kong: Ooh! Well, I was looking through the new Monkey Bars Catalogue...
Cranky Kong: (interrupts DK) You knuckle-head! The Coconut!
Donkey Kong: (realized Skurvy has the coconut) Oh, yeah. Heh-heh... I forgot. Can I have it back, please?
Skurvy: (gives the coconut to DK) I kept my word about the oath, but as a pirate and scourge of the seven seas, I vows to come back, "cause...
Cranky Kong: We know, we know. That"s what pirates do.
Skurvy: Aye! Steal booty! (he leaves the temple)
Cranky Kong: Well, Donkey Kong, I have to admit, you don"t always do things the right way, but you get "em done.
Donkey Kong: Yeah, but I still want to know all the secrets.
Cranky Kong: Maybe you"re not supposed to know yet. Look at all the trouble your snooping has already caused! I mean, do you want to run before you walk?
Donkey Kong: You're right. Maybe some other time!
Cranky Kong: Good, now let"s get out of here before your start another crisis.
Donkey Kong: I will be back. You can count on it.
(They leave the temple with the coconut)
Inka Dinka Doo: Whatever!
(Scene cuts to King K. Rool in his lair)
King K. Rool: Where in the world could those homespun idiots be with my Crystal Coconut?
(Scene cuts to Skurvy's ship, where Klump & Krusha are hiding in barrels)
Klump: When the coast is clear, we jump out of the barrels, steal the Crystal Coconut back, & then swim back to shore.
Krusha: But I can't swim.
Klump:Well, why didn"t you say so before we snuck on board!
Krusha: Well, you never asked!
(Scene cuts to the beach, where Diddy is still being chased by Green Kroc & Kutlass)
Green Kroc: Stop, you little half-wit dog!
Diddy Kong: Half-wit? You two are the one's missing the boat.
Both: Huh?
(They stopped, & they noticed the ship is leaving)
Kutlass: Stop!
Green Kroc: Hang on!
Donkey Kong (narrator): (laugh) Eventually, those pirates manage to get back on their boat, & that's when Klump and Krusha got off, the hard way. (Laughed again) But the important thing was they all ended up empty handed. The Crystal Coconut was safe. Or so we thought.
(Scene then cuts to the jungle of Kongo Bongo)
Donkey Kong (narrator): It was sometime later, while Diddy and I were monkeying around playing secret agents that mysterious thing started happen on the island.
(Then we see Diddy with his Bananaphone)
Diddy Kong: Little Warrior to Big Warrior, come in! Over.
Donkey Kong: (on phone) I can hear you loud and clear, little buddy!
Diddy Kong: Not "little buddy"! Little Warrior! If you"re going to play with banana phones, you"ve got to talk in secret agent code, DK! Uh, I mean, Big Warrior.
(He sees Donkey Kong up in a tree)
Donkey Kong: (on phone) Oh, yeah! Okay, okay.
(He comes down)
Donkey Kong: (on phone) Little Warrior... (Chuckling) This is fun!
Diddy Kong: No, it's serious! We're gorilla agents on a top secret mission, sent in to the deepest, darkest, most dangerous part of the jungle!
Donkey Kong: Really?
Diddy Kong: (on phone) Yes, there"s no telling what kind of uncivilized, pea-brained gargantuan beasts could be lurking out there!
(Then we see Klump and Krusha hiding in the bushes)
Krusha: Why we gonna steal the banana toy?
Klump: It's not a toy! Any military genius can see it's really a superior eavesdropping secret spy device, used to secure delicate information from the enemy.
Krusha: Looks like a toy to me.
Klump: Well, it's not! It's a secret spy device. I'll need to get my hands on it if I'm gonna get back in King K. Rool's good books. Hush, now. Little fella"s coming this way.
(They hide as they see Diddy come closer)
Diddy Kong: See anything, Big Warrior?
Donkey Kong: Not yet, Little... (He hears something) Wait. I hear something in the bushes.
Diddy Kong: Me, too!
Donkey Kong: It's right in front of me! (Suddenly he saw Diddy, & screams)
Diddy Kong: (laughing, then stopped as he discovered an unknown object) Oh! Look at this!
Donkey Kong: What do you think it is?
Diddy Kong: I don't know. (He puts down his Bananaphone, & picks up the object) Maybe it dropped out of an alien spaceship or something. Betcha it's got magical powers.
(Klump takes Diddy's bananaphone)
Donkey Kong: You think so?
Diddy Kong: (noticed his Bananaphone is missing) Hey! My banana phone... it's gone!
(They see the Kremlings making off with it in the mine cart)
Diddy Kong: Oh, those no good, dirty, rotten, low-down, yellow-bellied, deep in slime sucking salamanders!
Donkey Kong: Why would they steal a banana phone?
Diddy Kong: They probably stole it so they could spy on us. Listen in on everything we say.
Donkey Kong: Then let's give them something to really listen to!
Diddy Kong: Oh, you mean like a practical joke? (laughs)
Donkey Kong: Yeah! Let's radio them, then hang up! (laughing)
Diddy Kong: No, that's not going to teach them a lesson. (He gets an idea) But I know what will!
(Scene cuts to King K. Rool in his lair waiting, then he sees Klump and Krusha arrive in their cart)
King K. Rool: You're late!
Klump: Sorry, King K. Rool, sir. But we were detained! For a good reason.
King K. Rool: There is no good reason for tardiness.
(The cart stops)
Klump: WHOA! (he throws the bananaphone, & it lands it to the ground near King K. Rool's feet)
King K. Rool: What is this?
Klump: It's an eavesdropping device, sir. A bug.
King K. Rool: I'm not interested in bugs, I'm interested in power. Supreme power, unlimited power that will make me... Powerful. (evil laugh)
Diddy Kong: (on phone) Hey, DK, what should we do with this shiny new amulet?
Donkey Kong: (on phone) You mean the one that is even more magical than the Crystal Coconut?
King K. Rool: (gasp) More magical than the Crystal Coconut? (He hears their conversation over the bananaphone)
Diddy Kong: (on phone) Oh where, oh where should we put it?
Donkey Kong: (on phone) Maybe we should hide it some place like the Forbidden Forest of Kongo Bongo? No one will find it.
Diddy Kong: (on phone) You mean the lizards?
Donkey Kong: (on phone) Yeah! King K. Rool and his cronies.
Klump: (gasp) Cronies?
Krusha: What's a crony?
Klump: Oh, it's a derogatory term used to describe heathen henchmen like ourselves who reside in the lowest level of authority.
King K. Rool: Wait, you two room spun idiots, be quiet! I'm trying to eavesdrop!
Donkey Kong: (on phone) No one can find out we're hiding this magical mysterious amulet in the Forbidden Forest.
King K. Rool: Klump, Krusha... to the Forbidden Forest! Immediately! I want that power source!
(Scene cuts back to Donkey Kong and Diddy in the jungle, as DK turn off his Bananaphone and him and Diddy laugh hysterically)
Diddy Kong: Oh, what a great practical joke! Hee hee hee! Wait'll Cranky hears this one!
(Scene then cuts to Cranky talking to DK and Diddy inside his cabin) 
Cranky Kong: How many times have I told you not to play practical jokes?!
Donkey Kong: We were just having some fun.
Cranky Kong: Every ape with a brain knows that's the Amulet of Bug a Boogie!
Diddy Kong: Huh?
Cranky Kong: It's nothing but pure evil! We're all in danger now!
Donkey Kong: What should we do?!
Cranky Kong: You have to bring it some place no one will ever go! Go to the Forbidden Forest and hide it in the Well of Woe.
Donkey Kong: WHOA!! No way am I going to the Forbidden Forest of Kongo Bongo!
Cranky Kong: You have to! The fate of Kongo Bongo relies on it!
Diddy Kong: I don't believe it! You're scared!
Donkey Kong: Am not I just looking out for you, little buddy. Wouldn't want you to get eaten by a bog monster.
Diddy Kong: (laughing) A bog monster?
Cranky Kong: Will you two quit your goofing around and scat? There's no telling what kind of evil has already been unleashed! Now go!
(Donkey Kong and Diddy leave the cabin)
Cranky Kong: And hurry! (after they leave the cabin, Cranky laughs) Those knuckleheads! That'll teach them a lesson and keep them out of my fur for a while.
(Unknown to Cranky, though, Kaptain Skurvy is coming to the island again to steal the Crystal Coconut. The scene then cuts to Skurvy's ship where Skurvy is dancing as he sings "The Booty Boogie")
Skurvy: 🎵If ya ask me mother, she'll say, "Ah, he's not so bad"🎵
🎵But when I left the house, I took everything she had🎵
🎵I took 'er silver and 'er gold, and scoffed 'er weddin' band🎵
🎵I even took 'er aprons and 'er copper pots and pans🎵
Kutlass & Green Kroc: 🎵Lyin', lootin', stealin',🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Is the reason I'm a pirate!🎵
Kutlass & Green Kroc: 🎵Ransackin', pillagin',🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Don't knock it 'til﻿ you try it!🎵
Kutlass & Green Kroc: Plundering and pilferin',🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Make up a healthy diet!🎵
🎵Arrh, look at me! I'm doin' the Booty Boogie!🎵
🎵No treasure is too big; I'd scarf the peaks of Kilimanjaro🎵
🎵As well as raid the tomb, and steal the mummy from a pharaoh🎵
🎵I'd swipe the Crown Jewels, and Merlin's crystal ball,🎵
🎵But the Crystal Coconut is the daddy of 'em all!🎵
🎵If you want a job with all the riches you can stand,🎵
🎵And all o' the security of a great pension plan,🎵
🎵Arrh! Then come aboard!🎵
All: 🎵Lyin', lootin', stealin' is the reason we are pirates!🎵
🎵Ransackin', pillagin', don't knock it 'til﻿ you try it!🎵
🎵Plunderin' and pilferin' make up a healthy diet,🎵
🎵Arrh, look at us! We're doin' the Booty Boogie!🎵
🎵Arrh, from sea to sea! We're doin' the Booty Boogie!🎵
Skurvy: 🎵Arr🎵
Kutlass: Heh-heh, what a nice-a song.
Green Kroc: Mais, oui.
(Scene cuts to Klump in the Forbidden Forest)
Klump: Hip, hup, hip, hup! Company halt! Krusha? (he noticed Krusha is not with him) Krusha!
Krusha: Klump!
(Scene then cuts to King K. Rool contacts him through video in his lair)
Klump: Oh, Krusha!
King K. Rool: Klump! Where's the magic amulet? Haven't you found Donkey Kong yet?
Klump: Uh, almost, sir.
King K. Rool: "Almost"? As in I'm almost ready to barbeque your sorry carcass?
Klump: Uh, no. Almost as in somewhere between not really and sort of-kind of.
King K. Rool: Don't tell me you're lost!
Klump: Oh, negative, sir. My keen sense of sight, smell and direction have yet to fail me. (then walks off) Hip, hup, hip, hup! Hip, hup... Hip, hup, what ya got?
King K. Rool: A general's brain can't hold a thought.
(Scene cuts to Donkey Kong in the Forbidden Forest)
(Twig snapping)
Donkey Kong: Aah!
Diddy Kong: DK's a scaredy cat! DK's a...
Donkey Kong: Stop that! I am not.
Diddy Kong: I know, I"m just funning you.
Donkey Kong: There"s nothing to be scared... 
Diddy Kong: Roar!
Donkey Kong: Aah! (runs off hiding)
Diddy Kong: (laugh) It was me, ya goof! Roar!
Donkey Kong: That was you?
Diddy Kong: Of course! Who else? Now, quit clowning. I just want to find this Well of Woe and get out of here.
Donkey Kong: (frightened) Me too!
(Scene cuts to Cranky Kong laughing in his cabin)
Cranky Kong: (laughing) That'll teach 'em.
(Then Funky Kong arrive)
Funky Kong: Teach who what?
Cranky Kong: (laughing) Teach DK and Diddy that practical jokes aren't fun!
Funky Kong: Sounds fly! Label the scene for me, ancient relic dude.
Cranky Kong: DK and Diddy found this crazy gadget, so I told him it was a magical amulet with evil powers! Then I sent them on a wild goose chase to the Forbidden Forest to get rid of it, but the place I sent them to doesn't even exist!
Funky Kong: WHOA! Negative karma, fossil man!
Cranky Kong: What are you talking about?
Funky Kong: Zen law, dude! What goes around, comes around. You'd better flex a move to correct, or I'm betting you are regretting.
Cranky Kong: (laugh) Don't be silly. It's just a practical joke. (Laugh hysterically)
(But he does not notice that his speech is being picked up on Donkey and Diddy's Bananaphone (which they left with him, scene then cuts to King K. Rool overhears Cranky on the other line in his lair)
Cranky Kong: (on phone) (laughs) PRACTICAL JOKE! (laughs again)
King K. Rool: Hmm, a practical joke? I'm duped! And what's more, I've got Klump and Krusha in the Forbidden Forest running after an amulet that's worthless when all this time I could have been stealing the Crystal Coconut in Donkey Kong's absence! (Gasps) The Crystal Coconut!
(He turns on his cameras and uses it to find Krusha)
King K. Rool: Krusha! Abort the mission and come back to headquarters immediately!
Krusha: I can't.
King K. Rool: WHY NOT?!
Krusha: Something bad happened. 
(It's reveals that he is stuck up to his chest in swamp mud)
King K. Rool: Argh! Then find Klump and tell him to get his leathery hide back here immediately!
Krusha: Klump!
(It's also reveal that Klump is also stuck in the mud with Krusha)
Klump: You don't have to shout.
King K. Rool: Klump?!
Klump: (Chuckling nervously) Oh, hello there, sir. Everything, um... under control here.
King K. Rool: (tuns off his cameras) If I recall, my villain tutorial's lesson 109 states, "When all else fails, implement and execute heinous diabolical plan yourself!"
(Scene cuts back to Cranky laughing in his cabin)
Funky Kong: Hey, how did you fit these little pirate dudes in the Zen gem?
Cranky Kong: Pirates? What? (He sees the pirates are back on the island) Oh, no! They're on the island! I've got to warn Donkey Kong!
Funky Kong: Far out. Now the joke's on you. Karmic kickback! (laughed)
Cranky Kong: Just watch the coconut, will you?
(He transforms into a hologram using it to warn Donkey Kong, & Diddy)
Funky Kong: Whoa! I'm sensing some really negative vibes.
(Suddenly, Skurvy and his crew arrive the cabin)
Funky Kong: Whoa! Jump back, Jack!
Skurvy: Arr, I be Skurvy, not Jack. And I come in the name of me great-great-great-grand-pappy to claim me birthright... The Crystal Coconut.
Funky Kong: I gotta tell you dudes, you are riding some serious negative waves. But you're in luck... I have cosmic jurisdiction to assign mantras. But before I can do that, you dudes will need a major cosmic cleansing and total clearing of the chakras.
(Scene then fades to Funky Kong now trapped in a barrel and the pirates steal everything in Cranky's cabin, including the Crystal Coconut)
Funky Kong: (muffled) No offence, but I think you dudes are missing the point.
Skurvy: Aye, but you be missing more than that, mate.
(Skurvy and his crew laughed evily)
(Scene then cuts back to Donkey Kong in the Forbidden Forest)
(Twig snapping)
Donkey Kong: Did you hear that, Diddy? Little bud? Where are you? (He sees something) Aah! The bog monster! (He trips) Whoa! No! Go away!
Diddy Kong: Cut it out, will ya? (laughs) There's no such thing as bog monsters!
Donkey Kong: Yes, there is! I saw one. When I was just a little monkey, Cranky always warned me not to go into the Forbidden Forest.
Diddy Kong: You must have imagined it, DK.
Donkey Kong: No, I didn't! I know what I saw.
(Song starts, as he sings, "The Bog Monster)
Donkey Kong: 🎵In the Forbidden Forest lurks a monster and you'll see🎵
🎵How my childhood curiosity got the best of me🎵
🎵With crusty skin and giant claws and dripping fangs and beady eyes🎵
🎵His arms surround you, feels like drowning in mud pies🎵
🎵The Big Bog Monster is comin' after you🎵
🎵His terrifyin' face will make ya scream until you're blue🎵
🎵His breath was awfully stinky, it could knock over a rhino🎵
🎵His hair was full of maggots and his ears dripped something yellow,🎵
🎵I thought to myself, What could it be?🎵
🎵His eyes were red from what I could see,🎵
🎵His arms were thicker than a tree,🎵
🎵It scared the bananas outta me!🎵
🎵The Big Bog Monster is comin' after you🎵
🎵His terrifyin' face will make ya scream until you're blue🎵
🎵The Big Bog Monster is comin' after you🎵
🎵You'd better run real fast 'cause if he catches you, you're through🎵
🎵The Big Bog Monster is comin' after you🎵
🎵Razor-sharp teeth! Big scary eyes! Fangs!🎵
🎵The Big Bog Monster is comin' after you🎵
Diddy Kong: AAAH!
Donkey Kong: AAAAAAH!!! ((He jumps & hanging on the branch of the tree)
Diddy Kong: (laughing) DK is a scaredy cat! DK is a...
Donkey Kong: It could have been the bog monster. (He comes down from the tree)
Diddy Kong: No, it couldn't because there's nothing in this forest but you and me.
(T have been the bog monster.hen Cranky's hologram appears in front of them, as they scream)
Cranky Kong: DK, back to the cabin, pronto!
Donkey Kong: But we haven't found the Well of Woe yet!
Cranky Kong: There is no Well of Woe, you knucklehead! I made it up to teach you two goons a lesson!
Both: A practical joke?
Donkey Kong: You mean, the amulet isn't even evil?
Cranky Kong: It's junk! Never mind that! Skurvy and his henchmen are on the island! You gotta hurry before... (his hologram flickers) Oh, no!
Donkey Kong: Cranky, what's wrong?
Cranky Kong: The Crystal Coconut! Someone must be messing with it! It can only be...
Both: Skurvy!
(Cranky's hologram disappears and DK and Diddy are heading back to Cranky's cabin, but not before coming upon Klump and Krusha, who are still trapped in the mud)
Klump: Hold it right there, soldiers! I demand you hand over that, um, that magical thing-a-ma-jiggy!
Diddy Kong: Give it to him. It's worthless anyway.
Donkey Kong: Okay, here you go. (He hands down the object to Klump) We're leaving now. We don't want to be eaten by the bog monster. 
(Donkey Kong and Diddy head off)
Klump: Did you see that? I am a military genius! What do you say, Krusha?
Klump: What's a bog monster?
Klump: Oh, it"s a big, ugly, hairy beast that eats anything in sight... (gasps)
(Scene cuts to DK and Diddy returning back to Cranky's cabin)
Donkey Kong: Don't worry, I'm here! The Crystal Coconut is...
(They're shocked find that the only thing left there is Funky, still trapped in the barrel)
Diddy Kong: (gasps) Gone!
Funky Kong: Too late, hero dudes! The scum dudes with bad karma already took it!
Diddy Kong: But if Skurvy has it, then he's probably on his ship getting ready to set sail!
Donkey Kong: And if he's got the Crystal Coconut, then he's got... Cranky!
Diddy Kong: We gotta bust a move, DK!
Funky Kong: Funky's plane!
(The plane engine whirring, DK and Diddy are screaming as they take off)
Funky Kong: Copasetic, dude.
(Scene cuts to Skurvy's ship, as we see Cranky returning to his physical form)
Cranky Kong: What the... Where am I? (Notice his stuff) Hey, what"s all my stuff doing here?
(He hear Skurvy as he then hides)
Skurvy: Kutlass, Green Kroc! Load the rest of the booty and prepare to set sail!
Cranky Kong: Skurvy, he's got the Crystal Coconut. Donkey Kong better get here soon or I'm stuck with these goons.
(Scene cuts to K. Rool (bringing the stolen Bananaphone with him) comes to Cranky's cabin)
King K. Rool: All right, you knuckle-dragging throwbacks, hand over the Coconut!
Funky Kong: Too late, villain dude number two. Pirate villain dude number one beat you to it.
King K. Rool: Of all the low-down, dirty, rotten, yellow-bellied, slime sucking tricks! That was my idea.
Funky Kong: (sigh) This negative stuff is bumming me out big time.
King K. Rool: Well, I'll just steal it back. After all, there's nothing Skurvy has that I don't have.
Funky Kong: Except a hand cannon!
King K. Rool: Uh... Well, then, I'll need reinforcements won't I?
(Scene cuts to Klump and Krusha still stuck in mud in the Forbidden Forest)
Krusha: Oh, it's the bog monster!
Klump: Oh, don't be silly. Any half-wit can tell the difference between a plane engine and a bog monster! (He hears a rustling sound) Whereas that is clearly a bog monster!
(They both scream as King K. Rool arrived)
King K. Rool: Get out of there this instant! We need to get the Crystal Coconut!
Klump: I have something better, sir! I've retrieved the amulet!
King K. Rool: That piece of junk is as useless as you are!
Klump: Oh no, sir. It's magical, mysterious.
King K. Rool: Only a complete moron would believe that!
Skurvy: (on phone) Button down the hatches, maties!
(He overhears Skurvy on the Bananaphone and gets an idea. The scene then cuts to Skurvy laugh)
King K. Rool: (on phone) Who cares that the pirates have the coconut? After all, it's really this mysterious, magical amulet that's the real power source.
Skurvy: More booty. If only I knew where to find it.
King K. Rool: (on phone) I just hope they don't come to the Forbidden Forest to look for it.
Skurvy: (laughing) Thar"s no smarter pirate than me. (He leaves his ship with the coconut)
(Scene cuts to DK and Diddy, on Funky's plane arriving at the docks, close to Skurvy's ship)
Cranky Kong: Get your furry butts back up there and follow Skurvy! He left to meet K. Rool and he's got the Crystal Coconut!
Donkey Kong: Where to, C-man? Uh, Cranky?
Cranky Kong: To the Forbidden Forest... hurry!
Donkey Kong: (stops the plane) No can do.
Diddy Kong: Oh, not again!
Cranky Kong: What are you talking about?
Diddy Kong: When DK was a kid, he thinks he saw a bog monster.
Donkey Kong: I didn't think! I saw!
Cranky Kong: There's no such thing as bog monsters!
Donkey Kong: Oh, yeah? Tell that to the one I saw!
Cranky Kong: That was me that day, you big goof!
Donkey Kong: What?
Cranky Kong: I told you to stay out of the Forbidden Forest, but you wouldn't listen. So, I had to find some way to make you stop!
Donkey Kong: So, there is no bog monster!
Diddy Kong: That's what I've been telling you all along! So, can we go now?
Donkey Kong: (starts the plane) We sure can, little buddy. There's nothing to be scared of now. 
(They take off)
(Scene cuts to Skurvy again, but in the Forbidden Forest)
Skurvy: Arr, okay, you lard bag land lover. Hand over the amulet!
King K. Rool: Oh, no. It's a nasty old pirate! Okay, you win!
(He gets the coconut from Skurvy, & gives him the "amulet")
Skurvy: I be wanting all the booty! The Crystal Coconut, too. Give it over!
King K. Rool: I would, but your hands are full. Allow me to relieve you of the hand cannon.
Skurvy: Oh, why, thank you, mate.
(He hands his hand cannon to K. Rool, then K. Rool aims it in Skurvy's face)
King K. Rool: All right, you uneducated piece of vermin...
Skurvy: Arr! That be a nasty trick.
Diddy Kong: Are you sure this is gonna work?
Donkey Kong: It fooled me, didn't it? Just wait for my cue, then do your stuff.
Skurvy: So, you hand over the cannon and I give you the amulet?
King K. Rool: No! Keep the cannon, I only want the Crystal Coconut!
Skurvy: Who gets the amulet?
King K. Rool: Who cares, you imbecile!
Diddy Kong: RROAAAARRR!!!!
(They see Donkey Kong running)
Donkey Kong: Run for your lives! It's the bog monster!
Both: The bog monster!
Donkey Kong: Run! Run for your lives! He'll get you!
Skurvy: Who cares about the booty? Give me back me hand cannon! (He take his hand cannon from K. Rool, & runs off)
King K. Rool: And then there was one. (laughing evily)
Donkey Kong: Run, run, run for your... Huh? (He stops)
Diddy Kong: RROAAAARRR!!!! Uh-oh.
King K. Rool: Nice try, Donkey Kong. But as you can see, the one with the most toys wins, and that's me!
Donkey Kong: Not for long.
King K. Rool: Look at you standing there. So foolish, so helpless. So pathetic. You can't do anything because I hold the ultimate power source!
(K. Rool realizes he himself has now sunk up to his chest in swamp mud)
Donkey Kong: Great job, little buddy. (Takes the coconut from K. Rool's hand) You sounded so convincing!
Diddy Kong: What are you talking about? I was waiting for your cue.
Donkey Kong: AAH!! (He runs off with the coconut)
Diddy Kong: (laugh) I knew he'd fall for it!
(Suddenly he a rustling sound, & sees a mysterious shadow)
Diddy Kong: Aah! The bog monster! (he screams and runs off, then Klump and Krusha come in)
Klump: Oh, no! Krusha, look! The bog monster! He ate King K. Rool! Everything "cepting his head.
King K. Rool: You idiot! Get me out of here!
(Roaring)
(They hear an even more fearsome roar behind them)
(Scene cuts to DK, Diddy, & Cranky inside his cabin)
Cranky Kong: Thanks to Diddy's bog monster impression, it's not likely we'll have to worry about seeing the pirates for a while.
Donkey Kong: Bog monster? I'm glad I'm over that.
(Roaring)
(They all scream, as it turns out to be Funky snoring)
Donkey Kong: Funky!
Diddy Kong: He's still in the barrel!
(They get Funky out of the barrel)
Cranky Kong: Funky, are you okay?
Funky Kong: Maxed and relaxed. All those negative vibes burned me out, so I decided to just chill and clock some Z"s. Hey, little dude! You found my hood ornament!
All: Hood ornament?
Funky Kong: I lost it on my last barrel run, but now I got it back! Ha ha! That's karma!
Cranky Kong: What goes around, comes around.
Funky Kong: You got it, dudes! Later! (He leaves with his hood ornament)
Cranky Kong: (laughing) Don't ya get it? (laughed again) Now the joke's on us!
(Both Diddy and Cranky laughing, although Donkey does not seem to find it as funny)
Donkey Kong (narrator): Banana Slamma. We got lucky that time. Thanks to King K. Rool. The pirates went running, scared the scales right off of em. (laughs) No one knows better than me, that old K. Rool just doesn't know when to give up. But then neither did the pirates.
(Scene cuts to Donkey Kong in his treehouse, relaxing, & eating bananas)
Donkey Kong (narrator): It took a while. But one afternoon when I was relaxing. Not that I often take time for my busy work to goof around.
(Then Diddy arives)
Diddy Kong: Hey, DK! You wanna come and see the... (He slips on one of DK's banana peel littered around the treehouse) WHOAAA!!
(DK see Diddy lying down, inside the treehouse)
Donkey Kong: Diddy, you okay? Speak to me, little buddy! Speak to me!
Diddy Kong: Only one thing worse than a bruised banana; a bruised butt.
(Diddy giggles, and gets up)
Donkey Kong: Some best pal, tricking me like that.
Diddy Kong: Ha ha ha! I got you good didn't I? Ha Ha Ha!
Donkey Kong (laughing) Yeah, you did. Guess I better clean these peels up before something really bad happens.
(Suddenly, DK slipping on a banana peel, going straight to the elevator barrel causing it to crash down.)
Diddy Kong: Hold on, big buddy. I'm coming. (He comes down) DK, are you okay? Oh, DK, speak to me, bestest pal in the whole world! Speak to me!
Donkey Kong: (Groaning) Huh? Who are you?
Diddy Kong: Who am I? I'm Diddy. Your bestest pal in the whole world, remember?
Donkey Kong: Diddy?
Diddy Kong: Oh... I get it now! You're trying to trick me, aren't you, Donkey Kong?
Donkey Kong: Donkey Kong?
Diddy Kong: (gasps) Jumping banana bugs! Oh, DK, you've lost your memory?! Cranky!
Donkey Kong: Cranky? Is that my name?
Diddy Kong: No! Oh, never mind. Just don't move 'till I get back! Oh, you've got problems!
(Diddy leaves to get Cranky)
Donkey Kong: I say he's the one with the problems.
(Scene cuts to Candy Kong waiting for DK in the jungle)
Candy Kong: Oh, that Donkey Kong! Is there some sort of rule that says boyfriends always have to be late? Well, this time I"m not taking "Gee, sorry Candy, I forgot" for an answer. (She doesn't notice DK wandering around in the background, nor does he overhear her complaining) That big ape might not know it, but he's in big trouble!
(Scene then cuts to Kaptain Skurvy at the beach, where his crew are digging from treasure)
Green Kroc: If we digs any deeper, we'll sink the island.
Kutlass: Aye. Are you sure we buried our treasure here, Kaptain Skurvy, sir?
Skurvy: Aye, "X" marks the spot. It be buried here, positively. Why, I'd even stake my reputation as the scurviest seadog on it. I"d... But even so, you might wants to take a little look, um... Over thar".
Green Kroc: Why does we bury the treasure, Kaptain?
Skurvy: "Why does we bury the treasure?" Why does we bury the treasure?! Kutlass, tell Mr. Green Kroc here why we be buryin" treasure.
Kutlass: Ahem. According to Section 3 paragraph 4 of the Pirate Handbook. "Any and all treasure acquired by ill-gotten means shall and will be systematically buried", sir.
Skurvy: So, there be your answer, Mr. Green Kroc, smarty boots! Now, and not another word.
Green Kroc: But if we just be digging it up again...
Skurvy: Are your ears full of cotton, sailor?
(Then Donkey Kong arrive)
Donkey Kong: Excuse me, fellas! Maybe you can help me out. I don't know who I am.
Skurvy: Help you out? Why, I'd sooner run ye through with... Don't know who ye be?
Donkey Kong: You see, I got bumped on the head, and now... Who am I?
Kutlass: You're Donkey...
Skurvy: (hits Kutlass by the chest) Kroc!
Donkey Kong: Huh?
Skurvy: Aye, Donkey Croc! Me own first mate!
Green Kroc: But I'm your first...
(He hits Green Kroc by the chest)
Skurvy: Surely you must remember Mr. Green Kroc and me second mate Kutlass.
Donkey Kong: "Donkey Croc?" I'm a pirate?!
(Scene cuts to Cranky and Diddy outside of DK's treehouse)
Cranky Kong: You say he landed on his head?!
Diddy Kong: Yeah!
Cranky Kong: Good thing, otherwise he might've hurt himself.
Diddy Kong: Oh, what do we do, Cranky?! He must've wandered off!
Cranky Kong: Find Funky. Use his plane for an air search.
Diddy Kong: Good idea. (He heads off)
Cranky Kong: This better not be Donkey Kong trying to trick me so he can forget about the 20 bananas he owes me, or I'll give him something he'll never forget!
(Scene then cuts to Skurvy's ship, where we see DK and Skurvy)
Donkey Kong: You know, the thing I don't remember most is being a croc. You sure I'm not some kind of monkey?
Skurvy: Oh, you be as croc as they come, Donkey Croc. (He brings out a large frame) Here, sees for yourself.
(The music starts, as Skurvy mimicking Donkey's actions, giving the impression of a mirror, as they sing "The Mirror Never Lies")
Skurvy: 🎵Arrh! Feast your eyes🎵
🎵Look into the mirror, arrh, it never lies!🎵
🎵You're a pirate! Can't you see that this is no disguise?🎵
🎵You live to loot and pillage, maim and terrorize!🎵
🎵Your reflection tells the story of a pirate's life of glory🎵
🎵Trust your eyes! Arrh!🎵
🎵The mirror never lies!🎵
🎵Arrh!🎵
Donkey Kong: 🎵How can this be?🎵
🎵I faintly recall swinging tree to tree!🎵
🎵Now I see a pirate that's in front of me!🎵
🎵With slimy skin and beady eyes, what a surprise!🎵
🎵The reflection tells the story of a pirate's life of glory🎵
🎵Trust my eye!🎵
🎵The mirror never lies!🎵
Both: 🎵The reflection tells the story of a pirate's life of glory🎵
🎵Trust your eye!🎵
🎵Arrh! The mirror never lies!🎵
🎵The mirror never lies...🎵
(Song ends, then the scene fades to Donkey Kong now wearing a eye patch and a pirate hat, Skurvy and DK are snarling)
Skurvy: Well, Donkey Croc, ready for some piratin"?
Donkey Kong: Aye-aye, nose-nose, throat-throat. Ablast, me hardlies, and shiver me tree trunks.
Skurvy: Arrh. A scurvy pirate takes silver, a lowdown bilge rat takes gold, but there be only one prize for the lowest of the low pirate scumdog such as ye, Donkey Croc. The Crystal Coconut. The gem what holds the power of the seven seas.
Donkey Kong: Aye-aye, nose-nose, throat-throat. (He heads off)
(Skurvy and his crew laughed, but DK comes back since he no longer knows where it is)
Donkey Kong: Uh, any idea where I might be finding one of them coconuts?
Skurvy: Draw him a map.
(Scene cuts to Funky, on his plane with Diddy)
Funky Kong: Any sign of him, Diddy Dude?
Diddy Kong: No, Funky! Oh, wait, I see something! Whoa, pirates!
(They see Kaptain Skurvy's ship)
Funky Kong: Whoa! The peg-legged, eye-patchin' dudes are back!
Diddy Kong: We'd better warn Cranky! With DK lost, the Crystal Coconut is in danger!
Funky Kong: Roger! Over and out!
(They fly off to Cranky's cabin, scene cuts to Candy Kong coming out of her house)
Candy Kong: My favourite banana necklace is gone, and whoever stole it left... this!
(She discovered a banana peel on the front of her front porch, scene then cuts to White Mountains, where we see Eddie the Yeti holding a banana peel outside of his cave)
Eddie the Yeti: Club! Club gone! Eddie club gone! Thief leave... thief leave... Thief leave snack! (He eats the banana peel)
(Scene then cuts to Donkey Kong entering K. Rool's Lair, he stole King K. Rool's throne, & leaves a banana peel)
Donkey Kong: Har, har, har, har.
(As he leaves, we see K. Rool, Klump and Krusha hiding from behind the crates)
Klump: He stole your throne, King K. Rool, sir! Donkey Kong stole your throne!
King K. Rool: I'm aware of that, General Klump, but the question I want answered is... why.
(The scene cuts to Cranky's cabin)
Cranky Kong: Pirates, eh?
Funky Kong: Without question! Crocs of the skull-and-crossbone variety.
Diddy Kong: And still no sign of DK!
Cranky Kong: Then who's gonna protect the Crystal Coconut?!
(Then Donkey Kong arrives)
Cranky Kong: Ya-ha! Donkey Kong to the rescue!
Donkey Kong: I'll take that. (He steals the coconut, & leaves the cabin)
Cranky Kong: Was he... wearing an eye patch?
(Cranky, Funky, & Diddy head out of the cabin, as they see DK stealing Funky's plane, flying off with the coconut)
Donkey Kong: The name's Donkey Croc! (Laughing)
Funky Kong: The Donkey dude thinks he's a pirate dude.
Cranky Kong: And he just pirated the Crystal Coconut.
Diddy Kong: Now what do we do?
(Scene cuts to Skurvy's ship)
Skurvy: A pretty good day's piratin" I'd say, Donkey Ko... I mean, Croc. (Laugh) Now, what be we doin", lads?
Kutlass: Section Three, Paragraph Four, Kaptain Skurvy, sir.
Green Kroc: (groans) Gift-wrap it?
Skurvy: Bury it, you walnut-brained bottom-feeder. We be pirates, it be treasure, so we be buryin" the treasure. All except this, of course. (Holding the coconut)
(Skurvy and his crew laughed, then we see K. Rool, Klump and Krusha at the beach spying on them)
King K. Rool: So, that's it! There's the reason Donkey Kong took my throne.
Klump: Uh, he... uh... wanted a seat?
King K. Rool: No, you knucklehead! For some reason, Donkey Kong thinks he's a pirate, so he's pirating everything that's not glued down.
Klump: Or maybe he's brainy-washed.
King K. Rool: Something only you'd be immune too.
Krusha: Uh, he... he could be "hypotized'.
King K. Rool: Whatever! The question now is how can we move this turn of events to get the Crystal Coconut into my claws?
(Scene cuts to Diddy, Funky, and Cranky reading a book inside the cabin)
Cranky Kong: Ah, here it is. Memory loss. It says, "A recently lost memory can be restored by..."
Diddy Kong: How, Cranky?
Funky Kong: How?
Cranky Kong: That's it.
Diddy Kong: What's it?
(He dashes off before telling it to Diddy and Funky)
(Scene cuts to Donkey Kong eating bananas in Skurvy's ship, as the pirates debate what to do with him)
Skurvy: Arrh?
Green Kroc: Maybe we should get him to dig the holes before we get rid of him.
Skurvy: Aye, but I can't stands any more of that monkey stuff on my ship.
Kutlass: Easy for you to say, you just hold the map, you don't have to dig.
Skurvy: What be that, third mate? (He comes to DK) Ahoy, Donkey Croc. I be needin" you to do me another favour.
Donkey Kong: More booty, Kaptain?
Skurvy: Narrh, this time, lad. I want ye to go ashore and capture a scurvy seadog, goes by the name of Donkey Kong.
(Green Kroc & Kutlass laughing)
Donkey Kong: Aye-aye, nose...
Skurvy: Just get on with it!
(He heads off)
Skurvy: (laughing) The landlubber's goin' to hunt heself.
(Skurvy and his crew laughed)
(Scene then cuts to Candy & Cranky outside her house)
Candy Kong: Donkey Kong had an accident?! Is he okay, Cranky?
Cranky Kong: Well, he got whacked on the head, lost his memory, thinks he's a pirate, stole the Crystal Coconut, and now we can't find him! According to my book, we've only got one hope.
Candy Kong: You want me to bonk him on the head again?
Cranky Kong: If that's all it took to get his memory back, I'd do it myself! With pleasure! I'm afraid it's not that simple.
(Scene cuts to Donkey Kong in the jungle)
Donkey Kong: Guess I should've ask the Kaptain for a map or something.
(Then King K. Rool appears)
King K. Rool: Where on Earth have you been?
Donkey Kong: Arrh. You've got me confused with someone else. I'm Donkey Croc, the pirate... Arrh... and I'm looking for Donkey Kong the... (screeching)... ape.
King K. Rool: No, you're not.
Donkey Kong: I'm not?
King K. Rool: No, you're Donkey Rool.
(DK is confused, the music starts as K. Rool sings "One of Us")
King K. Rool: 🎵Well!!🎵
🎵Listen here, while I make it clear!🎵
🎵I can't believe you can't see what we see here!🎵
🎵A crocodile, the superior species🎵
🎵You're Donkey Croc, initials D.C.🎵
🎵Looking at your claws🎵
🎵You could be one of my in-laws!🎵
🎵'Cause you're one of us! One of us!🎵
🎵You're mean and green, scaly sheen🎵
🎵Can't you see you're one of us?🎵
🎵You walk the walk, my brother Croc!🎵
🎵Arm in arm, together we rock!🎵
Donkey Kong: 🎵Well, if what you say is true...🎵
🎵Then I guess we're brothers, same color with a similar hue🎵
🎵With these fangs and this scaly skin...🎵
🎵There's no question that we're family, next of kin🎵
🎵'Cause I'm one of you! One of you!🎵
🎵Same crew, nothing I can do!🎵
🎵I can see I'm one of you🎵
🎵One of you! One of you! The same crew!🎵
🎵I'm really one of you!🎵
(The song ends, DK takes off his eye patch and pirate hat, as K. Rool, & DK laugh maniacally)
King K. Rool: It's been a long time since you've done a job for me, Donkey Rool.
Donkey Kong: If you say it has.
King K. Rool: You wouldn't, by any chance, know where you could get your hands on, say... a Crystal Coconut, would you?
Donkey Kong: I know just where one is.
King K. Rool: I thought you might. (Laughs evily, as DK heads off)
(scene fades to Donkey Kong running in the forest, as Diddy and Funky arrive to stop him)
Funky Kong: Lay it on him, Diddy Dude!
Diddy Kong: Before you take another step, I want you to try to remember the time we were trapped together in those barrels.
(The scene flashbacks to Skurvy's ship where Skurvy and his crew lock up DK and Diddy in barrels)
Skurvy: Well, me little guppies, let's see you get out of this one. Arrh.
Diddy Kong: Let us go, Skurvy!
Skurvy: Oh, I'll let you go.
Donkey Kong: You will?
Skurvy: Just as soon as I find some shark-infested waters!
(Skurvy and his crew laughed evily, the flashback fades to Donkey Kong being free from the barrel, then we see Skurvy and his crew)
Skurvy: And now, with Donkey Kong out of my way, nothing can stop me.
(Suddenly, DK bursts out of the door)
Donkey Kong: Except me, squidface.
Skurvy: Donkey Kong?
Donkey Kong: I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?
Skurvy: Get those knuckle-draggin" landlubbers.
(The two Kongs split up in response, as Skurvy's crew attacks them)
Diddy Kong: (running from Kutlass) I need some backup here!
Kutlass: (running after Diddy) Stand still.
Diddy Kong: HELP!
Donkey Kong: (in front of Kutlass) You were saying? Banana Slamma! (He punched Kutlass)
(The flashback ends)
Diddy Kong: Remember?
Donkey Kong: Hmm... Sorry, no. Now, if you don't mind...
Funky Kong: Try trippin' back to when you were movin' and groovin' in the Temple of the Inka Dinka Dude!
(The scene flashbacks to Donkey Kong, Diddy, & Funky in the temple)
Donkey Kong: Is it me or does the floor seem a little narrow?
(The room reveals is a narrow passageway)
Funky Kong: Why look at the negative, DK?
Diddy Kong: Yeah. Besides, we're monkeys. To us, that's a highway. (giggles)
Donkey Kong: Well, here goes. (He enters the room)
Funky Kong: A little drum music if you please. (Drum music starts)
Donkey Kong: Let me know if you see... (an arrow shoots) anything.
Diddy Kong: (another arrow shoots) DK, Duck!
Donkey Kong: (he ducks) Whoa! (arrows start flying from out of the walls as DK tries to make it across)
Funky Kong: Don't stop! Keep movin"! Let your body do the brainwork!
(DK manages to dodge all the arrows and avoid falling into the pits, he succeeded)
Donkey Kong: Banana Slamma!
(The flashback ends)
Donkey Kong: Nuh-uh, not me.
Diddy Kong: Oh, come on! There's got to be something you remember! Something that'll convince you you're not Donkey Croc the pirate!
Donkey Kong: Well, of course I'm not Donkey Croc the pirate. I'm Donkey Rool!
Both: "Donkey Rool"?
Donkey Kong: Heheheheheh... Gotta run! I'm on my way to the Crystal Coconut, for King K. Rool! (Laughs evily, as he heads off)
Both: This is even worse!
(Scene then fades to Donkey Kong wandering around in the jungle as Cranky arrives to stop him)
Cranky Kong: Hold it right there!
Donkey Kong: Not another one... Listen, old-timer, before you try to tell me I'm someone I'm not, I'll tell you exactly who I am. I'm Donkey Rool! Hahahahaa!!
Cranky Kong: "Donkey Rool?!" Boy, this doesn't get any easier! I'll have to pull out the heavy artillery.
Donkey Kong: Need a hand lifting it, old-timer?
Cranky Kong: He sure didn't lose any of his intellect! Knock off the "old-timer" stuff and listen to me! You're Donkey Kong, and you're going to remember the time when...
(The scene flashbacks to King K. Rool's Lair)
(The flashback ends)
Cranky Kong: Ya-hee! I knew I could make you remember! You're Donkey....!
Donkey Kong: Rool.
Cranky Kong: Okay, that's it. I thought I could do it, but like the book says, if anything's going to do it, it's this!
(Then Candy Kong arrives)
Candy Kong: Hi, Donkey Kong. Remember me? Surely you must remember your old sweetie pie.
Donkey Kong: Forget my old sweetie pie, who are you?
Candy Kong: What?!
Donkey Kong: My name's Donkey Rool. What's yours?
Cranky Kong: This is hopeless!
Candy Kong: I am your old sweetie pie, you... you... big banana for brains!
(She knocks him into a nearby tree, causing some coconuts to drop on his head.)
Donkey Kong: Gee, what happened? What did you hit me with, Cranky?
Cranky Kong: I didn't hit you with anything, you big...
Candy Kong: Cranky, wait. Did you call him "Cranky"?
Donkey Kong: Sure I did, Candy. I was gonna call him something else, but... you were present.
(Cranky and Candy are shocked.)
Donkey Kong: What are you staring at? You look like you don't remember who I am. I'm Donkey Kong, your boyfriend, Candy!
Candy Kong: Oh, yay, he's back! I love you, Donkey Kong.
Cranky Kong: Ya-ha!
Donkey Kong: Yeah. (He stops cheering) Where did I go?
Cranky Kong: No time to explain now. You've got to get the Crystal Coconut back from those pirates!
Donkey Kong: Pirates?
Cranky Kong: Don't worry, I have a plan.
(The scene cuts to Kaptain Skurvy (holding the coconut) at the beach again, where his crew are digging from treasure.)
(Then they see Donkey Kong, running to them.)
Donkey Kong: Avast, me lardlubbers! Walk the plank! Thar be a king gator, what goes by the name K. Rool, closing in on us in the company of an army of killer crocs! Hoist anchor! Full sails ahead! Save your scurvy hide before it's too late.
(His crew are heading to the shop, DK takes the coconut, & give Skurvy a map.)
Donkey Kong: I'll hide the treasure. Don't worry, "X" marks the spot.
(He runs off with the coconut.)
Skurvy: But... Cast off! (He heads off with the map.)
(Scene now cuts to King K. Rool's Lair)
Donkey Kong: King K. Rool, King K. Rool!
King K. Rool: Donkey Ko... [Hemming]... I mean, Donkey Rool. You're back. Where's the Crystal Coconut?
Donkey Kong: I had to hide it. There are pirates everywhere. It's in a secret place. "X" marks the spot. (Laughs evily)
(Scene then cuts to Donkey Kong, Diddy, & Cranky inside his cabin)
Donkey Kong: Boy, it sure is nice having the Crystal Coconut back.
Cranky Kong: You can say that again.
Donkey Kong: Boy, it sure is nice having... (Cranky looks at him)
Diddy Kong: And to think that all this trouble started "cause DK was careless with his banana peels! (Laughs)
Donkey Kong: I've learned my lesson, Diddy. From now on, I put my banana peels where they belong.
Diddy Kong: Gee, where's that, DK?
(The scene cuts to K. Rool following the map inside a tunnel, then Skurvy appears following the same path as K. Rool)
King K. Rool: Skurvy, you pestering pirate!
Skurvy: Arrh, K. Rool, you bilge rat!
(But then they noticing a barrel at the end of the mine, believing it to contain the Crystal Coconut)
Both: It's mine!
(They both dash for it, but slip on some laid-out banana peels and fall onto the ground below by accident, taking the barrel with them, with the barrel revealing that there is nothing but bananas inside, when they fall to the ground, they got amnesia, Skurvy and K. Rool see some bananas, so they eat them)
(Scene then fades to K. Rool and Skurvy acting like monkeys in the sunset)
Donkey Kong (narrator): It took a few days. But K. Rool & Skurvy finally got their memories back, & realizes we've made monkeys out of both of em. (Laughs)
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