Team Fortress 2 missions

===Crossover===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission 	Start mission
 	Yoo hoo! Scouuuut! Where are yoooooou?
 	Uh, Ramsey? How'd this weirdo get past our perimeter?
 	I am not weirdo! I am Misha, Heavy weapons guy! I here because—
 	Yeah, I don't have time to care. You don't look like a Rebel, but if you don't want us to toss you into a cell, you'll have to prove to us that you won't kill us all.Rustle up some chow, take care of those Rebels attacking us, shore up our defenses… Whatever. Perkins, watch him while he does that.
 	Er… What am I supposed to do against HIM if he does try to kill us all…?
 	I said I don't have time to care, didn't I? I did say that, right?
Finish mission	Finish mission
 	Hey, this sandvich… uh, sandwich isn't bad! You're not such a bad guy after all.
 	THAT'S all it took?
 	That's what's important to me right now. I was hungry!So, uh… "Heavy weapons guy," what were you saying you were doing here? Y'know, the part I interrupted because I didn't care then?
 	I work for company called BLU. I am looking for comrade Scout who went poof around here. He is short, scrawny, little boy.
 	Hey, we have one of those! Do you want ours?
Reward screen 	Reward screen
 	That was hurtful, sir.
===Good Old Fashioned Shooting Contest===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission 	Start mission
 	Man, that Heavy weapons guy sure did a number on those Rebels! Ramsey, I think I might have another friend in the "big violent guy with a huge gun" category!
 	…Look, Mister… uh, Heavy, we're the Imperial Army. We're a highly trained and cohesive fighting force. We can't go accepting a stranger just because they happen to be able to shoot well.
 	No, I shoot GOOD! I kill more of your Rebels than anyone!
 	Anyone…? Sorry to disagree, but *I'm* the top Rebel shooter around here.
 	Then we have contest! We go shoot Rebels! Highest body count wins! Is good, yes?
Finish mission	Finish mission
 	Whew! That was a pretty good workout! How many Rebels did you take down, Heavy?
 	So many, I lose count! Piles and PILES of them! Hahahahaha!
 	Same here! Hah, you really aren't such a bad guy! Hell, welcome to the Outpost!
Reward screen 	Reward screen
 	It's been a long time since I've met someone with my kind of interests!
===Scout's Honor===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission 	Start mission
 	Morgan, I think we should find the Scout that my buddy here is looking for. He may have some valuable intel. We might even convince him to help us out too.
 	It's worth a shot. So where is he?
 	If I knew, I not look here! I find him already!
 	Huh, the man has a point.You know, maybe it takes a Scout to find a Scout. If we can train some of our guys to think like he does, we might have better luck.
Finish mission	Finish mission
 	Well, the men are trained up. They look a little… weird without the gas masks, but they seem to have the skills we need.
 	Fan them out across the area. Have them report anyone who looks or is acting strange.
 	Hey, LT, I finished that new automated milkshake machine I was tellin' ya about! Only it's still a little, uh, homicidal, so don't turn it on just yet, okay?
 	… I mean besides us.
Reward screen 	Reward screen
 	My comrades not as strange as you people.
===Raptor Rescue===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission 	Start mission
 	Sir! We've gotten reports of someone who fits the Scout's description at the Raptor Nest!
 	What are these "raptors"? Good to shoot?
 	Only if you enjoy having your intestines inside your body. Come on, we'd better get going before you have to retrieve your friend with a mop and bucket.
Finish mission	Finish mission
 	Yo, Mickey, yer a sight for sore eyes! I was almost lizard chow! Who're dese bozos with ya?
 	"Bozos" who just saved your life, and are carrying highly sophisticated weaponry. Hint hint.So, Scout-whose-name-I-don't-know, what were you doing here in the first place?
 	Ehh, I got lost. Oh, but Mickey! I found out sumptin'! Sumptin' BIG!
 	About mission?
 	Yeah!
 	Wait, what did you find out? What mission? What were you doing sneaking around to begin with?
Reward screen 	Reward screen
 	Hey, isn't someone gonna answer me?! Hey!!
===Calling the Gang Together===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission 	Start mission
 	Okay, you people have exactly five seconds to tell me what's going on before I start volunteering you both for Floyd's genetic experiments.
 	See, we're on a real vital mission! We're fightin' a company called RED. My team an' I have been all over this place, trying to find their base so we can take the important item they got! And I found out where it is!
 	The base? Yes! We must tell comrades at once!
 	Great, there are more of you? No, no, really, I'm thrilled.
 	I'd call 'em, only my radio kinda got clawed up by those raptors, and none of yours got the frequency codes I need.
 	No problem! We got a Tool Shop here you can use to make yer own!
 	Cool! But, uh… Looks like some o' those raptors followed us back here. Guess I must smell good, huh? Heh...
Finish mission	Finish mission
 	Got 'em! Beta Team's gonna meet up with us at the coordinates I gave 'em!
 	Good! Well, friend Ramsey? Join us?
 	I just gotta grab my gun. Let's do this!
 	Why are people making decisions without consulting me? Is this, like, one of those things where I'm really dead and nobody can hear me? Hello? I'm pretty sure I still outrank almost everyone here.
Reward screen 	Reward screen
 	Perkins, front and center! I gotta exert some unnecessary authority!
===RED Right Hand===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission	Start mission
 	Okay, fine, where is this RED base?
 	It's northwest of here. We got no idea what to expect.
 	Of course not. Floyd, Zoey, hold down the fort while we're gone.Zoey, if Floyd tries to insurrect, hit him with a wrench.
===RED Right Hand===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission 	Start mission
 	Mikhail, finally! Where the hell have you been?! In case you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of a MISSION here!
 	Making friends! Here they are!
 	Friends? Friends?!? This is WAR! Friends are for the weak and underprivileged!
 	Fine, we're *allies*, though I regretted that decision even before this conversation.
 	Well, why didn't you say so? Welcome aboard, private! Your mission is to help us ANNIHILATE these mewling RED pansies guarding their base!
Finish mission	Finish mission
 	Ach, who were those howlin' scunners with the RED tossers? I ha'nt seen the likes of them before.
 	We have. Guess the Rebels teamed up with RED.
 	Y'know, it's oddly comforting to always expect the worst. You're never unpleasantly surprised.
Reward screen 	Reward screen
 	It's served me well so far.
===Man Up, Soldier!===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission 	Start mission
 	If the Rebels and RED are fighting together, we're going to need some kind of edge. Otherwise, I'd just start hashing out the details for our terms of surrender. You know, something with a little poetry to it.
 	I'll tell you what would be an edge: MORE OF ME!
 	Alright, well, why don't you go supervise the training of some of our troops at the barracks in your ... unique style.That way, you leave me alone for a bit AND I get to go do something more important. I can't think of anything right now so maybe a nap? Yeah, that sounds good.
 	Now you're making sense! I'll show those pansies the sheer BRUTALITY of BLU training techniques!
Finish mission	Finish mission
 	Sir? Why do we have so many extra crates of rocket ammunition lying around?
 	Those BLU Soldiers burn through twice as many rockets as Imperials since they seem to spend half their time doing idiotic things like...
 	Whoooooooo!!!
 	Oh my god! Did you see that Lieutenant? That guy just blasted himself into the air like 30 feet!
 	Yeah. That's one of the idiotic things I was talking about.
Reward screen 	Reward screen
 	Such a waste of military resources.
===And Away We Go!===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission	Start mission
 	Cummoan ya bampots! That RED Base isn't about ta breach itself! We need ta get moving!
 	Stay sharp, men! Our objective is in sight! We march on the RED base at once! Failure is NOT AN OPTION!
 	Is a nice bourbon an option? Because I'd rather take that.
===Punch Through!===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission	Start mission
 	Well, we're finally here and that RED base is over there, crawling with Rebels and versions of you guys wearing red uniforms. This was a nice walk. I think I'll go back to the Outpost now.
 	We've come all this way, sir. Shouldn't we help them out a bit? You've seen what these guys can do in a fight. Having evil versions running around with our enemy seems like a bad idea.
 	Uggghhhhhhhh! Fine. Let's go do the "responsible" thing instead of doing the thing I want to do. Man, I'm thirsty. Can I have a swig of your soda?
 	ATTAAAACK!
===Almost There...===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission	Start mission
 	We're through their outer defenses! I can practically feel the prize in my hands already!
 	Scout says true things. I see more enemies to kill though!
 	Incoming second wave! Prepare for battle, troops!
===Capture the WHAT?!===
Dialogue 	Dialogue
Start mission 	Start mission
 	One more push and we'll have the item, sir.
 	Excellent news Ramsey. Let's get this over with quickly so we can go back to fighting our regular enemies. If we beat these guys fast enough, there's still enough time to make it home for the weekly orphanage talent show.I'm a judge this week!
Finish mission	Finish mission
 	Wait… THAT'S your "valuable objective"? A FLAG?!
 	What were ye expectin', lad? Gold? Haggis? A briefcase o' military intelligence?
 	I mean... Yes?
 	It's not just a flag! It's a symbol of PRIDE, man! Of VICTORY!
 	I hate you all.
Reward screen 	Reward screen
 	No, really, every single one of you should die in a fire. ESPECIALLY the Pyro guy.
Category:Team Fortress 2
Category:Missions