Blood 6

Chapter 6
Verna and Warren head back towards the BSWH, with Kevin the guard bailing on them. They meet with three other Nuns at “the stone bridge that lead over the River Kern . . . to the Palace of the Prophets.” The Nuns Three are Sisters Phillipa, Dulcinia, and Maren, whom you may recall is the Mistress of Novices. The four Nuns engage in some grade school-level bickering which is clearly intended to make Verna look wise and superior, but really just makes them all look like petty idiots.
They head into the Big Stone Witch House in order to “get this sham over with,” although exactly what they're up to is SEEKRET and MYSTERIOUS! Warren, apparently channeling me for a moment, calls Verna on her petty bickering. She just glares at him, so he asks why the Nuns Three are working together, since he'd expected them to be adversaries. Verna's response: “If you want to put a knife in the back of your opponent, so to speak, you must first get close enough.” 
The four Nuns and Warren arrive at “the thick walnut doors to the great hall,” whereupon Phillipa starts bullying Warren, saying that once the new Pope is elected, he will be re-collared. Verna says that he was freed by a Nun, and that can't be reversed. Having established her Evalness, Phillipa backs down.
The four Nuns enter the great all along with yet more pettiness (sheesh, we get it already, the Nuns are petty and spiteful people!). The great hall is awesome and gorgeous and I'm not describing it, except that there's a stained glass window depicting “a glowing figure meant to represent the Creator.” Under the window is a small column with an object on it, and said object seems to be surrounded by sourceless light. We learn that the light is a “light web,” which is apparently a powerful and dangerous spell, and the small object is the Pope's ring of office. 
Apparently all the other Nuns have tried to get the ring, and failed, and Verna is the last to try. Verna wonders why they don't just pool their powers and dismantle the light web, but she's told it's because that would make sense there's a chance it might destroy the ring.
We get a random aside about a Nun named Simona, who is apparently insane, having “deranged dreams” and hearing voices. I can't help but wonder, what exactly is a “deranged dream?” Is that the opposite of the normal, sensible dreams we all have?
Verna starts walking towards the ring. Nothing happens. Verna keeps walking. Nothing keeps happening. The other Nuns gasp, and Verna realizes that none of them have made it as far as she did. She finally reaches the ring, and it's resting on a piece of paper – er, parchment, because this is Ye Olde Medieval Tymes. On the parchment is written:
“If you wish to escape this web alive, put the ring on the third finger of your left hand, kiss it, then break the seal and read my words inside to the other Sisters.
Prelate Annalina Aldurren”
Verna stares at the parchment and the ring, and thinks that if this is a trap set by a Bad Nun it could kill her instantly. Of course, if this is a trap set by a Bad Nun it's an extremely stupid trap, especially since a Bad Nun could use her Minus Magic to casually murder Verna or any other Nun whenever she felt like it. Anyway, Verna agonizes over this for a while, and then Terry Goodkind deems it necessary to share the text of the note again. Well, since it's apparently so important despite the fact that we just read it two paragraphs ago, I might as well do likewise.
“If you wish to escape this web alive, put the ring on the third finger of your left hand, kiss it, then break the seal and read my words inside to the other Sisters.
Prelate Annalina Aldurren”
There, that added a lot to your reading experience, didn't it? \~/
Verna puts the ring on, which causes a beam of light to shine down upon her from the stained glass image of God. Yes, really. Verna then opens the letter and reads it to the assembled Nuns. I'm not going to quote the whole damn thing, since it's basically Pope Ann saying “Verna is now Pope. Deal with it.” However, one particular line bears examination:
“The spell I have left over the ring was drawn with the aid and guidance of the Creator himself. Defy my bidding at your peril.”
#So God Himself decided to intervene and help Pope Ann, and the way He decides to help is by . . . helping her make a strong light web to guard her ring. Yes, that certainly seems like a logical and productive thing for the Creator of the Universe to be doing. Of course, there was no hint of Him helping during the recent “Satan is going to eat the world” brouhaha, but guarding a ring? Definitely. \~/ 
#Also, really? If God really gave Ann His “aid and guidance,” this marks the one and only time in the entire 12-books series that God does a blessed thing. Therefore, I'm calling Pope Ann a huge liar. \~/
#Shouldn't “himself” be capitalized if she's referring to God?
The “light web” then dissipates in a boom, rendering the whole “defy me at your peril” thing utterly moot. Seriously, that was colossally stupid, and I'm taking another drink for it. \~/
So Verna goes into shock and all the other Nuns acknowledge her as the new Pope. Warren pops up and addresses her as “Prelate,” and she keeps telling him to stop calling her that. Verna and Warren wander off to an outdoor area near the river, so they can talk without being overheard (the idea being there's no cover nearby, and the river will mask the sound of their voices). 
Verna demands that Warren figure some way to get her out of being Pope. Warren says that he can't, and why would she want him to? Now that she's Pope, she can root out the Bad Nuns. Verna explains that, no, as Pope she now has so much responsibility and publicity that this will make things infinitely harder for her. The two of them figure out that Ann made Verna Pope largely because Verna was the one and only Nun Ann knew wasn't a Bad Nun.
And the chapter ends.
Drinks: 4
<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>