Double Trouble/Transcript

(The episode starts with TwoBrains making herself a latte to help get her up in the morning.)
TwoBrain: Good morning, TwoBrains!
TwoBrains: Don’t talk to me...without my coffee…
(TwoBrains dozes off but the ding of the coffee being done wakes her up.)
TwoBrains: I’M UP!
(TwoBrains picks it up to take a sip but immediately puts it down.)
TwoBrains: Ah! Hot, hot, hot! (Wipes her mouth with her sleeve.) Might need to wait for it to cool down for a little bit, but I don’t wanna wait for too long or it’ll get cold. TwoBrain, how long do you think I should wait?
TwoBrain: Hmm, about 45 seconds.
TwoBrains: Thanks!
TwoBrain: Glad to be a help.
(TwoBrains walks off-screen. The camera pans on the coffee from above, the milk is shaped similarly to that of TwoBrain’s head. The shape then multiplies. The scene cuts to TwoBrains drinking her coffee, whilst reading the newspaper about the events that had occurred in the previous episode, when she hears a knock on the door.)
Pesron: Hey legend, are you up?
TwoBrains: Coming!
(TwoBrains walks up to the door and opens it. Pesron walks in.)
Pesron: So, how’s your morning going? 
TwoBrains: Decent. I read about the Spammers trying to revive UCP.
Pesron: Oh yeah, I heard about that while on the way here. 
TwoBrains: Well, I’m not surprised that the Spammers would try and do something like that.
Pesron: Do you even remember what that jerk tried to do to Wikia?
TwoBrains: Yeah, UCP tried to ruin Wikia and hypnotized about thousands.
Pesron: I wonder what Wikia would be like if he succeeded.
TwoBrains: I try not to think about it.
(Cue theme song, afterwards, the scene cuts to TwoBrains, who is in the living room of her house playing Ultimate eTennis on the Dii with Pesron.)
TwoBrains: I’m gonna win!
Pesron: No, you’re not!
TwoBrains: Yeah, I am! I’m as good as August and Gloria Williams combined!
Pesron: Oh, really? We’ll see about that!
(TwoBrains hits the ball to Pesron and Pesron misses, causing TwoBrains to win.)
TwoBrains: Haha! 
Pesron: Crackerjack!
TwoBrains: Hehe.
Pesron: Good game, my legend. Wanna play another match?
TwoBrains: Sure! But hold on, I’m going to put some heavy metal on.
Pesron: Any music you play is as legendary as you are.
TwoBrains: Oh, you.
(TwoBrains pulls her phone out and plays some heavy metal. They start another match)
TwoBrains: I’ll show you my Sanic speed when it comes to tennis. 
Pesron: Really? And what’s that?
(She uses her handheld remote to rapidly hit several in-game tennis balls at Pesron’s character.)
Pesron: Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ahh! 
TwoBrains: Forfeit.
Pesron: Okay, okay! I give! Have mercy! Please!
TwoBrains: There is no mercy.
(She hits hundreds of in-game tennis balls at Pesron’s character until the CGI man is on the ground, shaking in the corner of the screen. Suddenly, a real tennis ball flies through the window, and TwoBrains, focused on winning the game with no mercy, hits the ball straight into the TV, destroying it.)
TwoBrains: KARABAST!
Pesron: Uh….
TwoBrains: I can always get another one.
Person: But they cost a hundred dollars, where are you supposed to get the money for that!?
TwoBrains: If only there were two versions of me that could make some more money!
Pesron: Wait a minute, I think I know the guy who can do that!
TwoBrains: Who?
(The scene cuts to Moose’s lab)
Moose: Ah, visitors! Welcome, welcome!
Pesron: Thank you. We need a clone for TwoBrains.
Moose: Feeling lonely?
TwoBrains: Nah, I’ve got my support here. (Wraps her arm around Pesron) I need one to make some more money because I kinda broke my TV in a competitive game…
Moose: To into the game, I see?
TwoBrains: Yeah…
Moose: Don’t worry! You’ve come to the right place…man...moose! Though, it may take me a while to construct a cloning machine.
TwoBrains: That’s fine.
Moose: It is? Because I don’t know how to make one or what it takes.
TwoBrains: Yeah, it’s fine, because I know someone who can make one, or better yet, bring one!
(She dials a number)
TwoBrains: Yo, Baghead, when are you returning from Corukan?
(Chatter is heard, but nothing can be made out)
TwoBrains: Good. Listen, can you bring back something for me?
(Chatter.)
TwoBrains: A cloning machine.
(More chatter.)
TwoBrains: Uh huh. Yep. Okay, see you soon!
(TwoBrains hangs up.)
Pesron: When is he gonna bring it?
(An escape pod crashes through the roof, and lands next to TwoBrains. The door opens, revealing the cloning machine.)
TwoBrains: Oh, he wasn’t supposed to bring it.
Moose: Careful! I paid good money to build this lab!
Pesron: Eh, we’ll just clone a part of the roof to fill it in.
TwoBrains: Hey, there’s a note attached to it!
(TwoBrains rips the tag off and reads the note. It is in Baghead’s handwriting.)
TwoBrains: (Reading aloud.) “TwoBrains, I hope this is what you need. However, this cloning machine is very sensitive to everything. Keep it away from your clone and never, ever, splash soda onto it, especially grape soda. I learned that the hard way. See you later, Baghead.” Alright, sounds simple enough. 
Pesron: Okay, legend, get inside the machine.
(TwoBrains does so and closes the machine door.)
Pesron: Which button should we press?
Moose: I think this one. (Points at the red button.)
(The door opens. TwoBrains’ second brain falls on the floor.)
Moose: Ugh! Is that her second brain?!
Pesron: Yeah... How can we put it back?
TwoBrain: You do not have to.
Moose and Pesron: Ahh!
TwoBrain: I can survive long enough for TwoBrains to put me back in.
TwoBrains: Why did you leave my head, though?
Pesron: And how?
TwoBrain: Because of the cloning machine. I do not want a clone of TwoBrains to have a twin of me. It would be chaos.
Moose: Oh well. Begin!
TwoBrain: Begin chaos? Nope.
Moose: No, I mean begin the cloning procedure. BEGIN!
(Moose pushes TwoBrains into the machine and pulls a lever on the control panel. He starts cackling like the mad scientist he is. Suddenly, the machine comes alive, shooting blueish electricity everywhere and actually hopping a little bit. The sounds the machine makes get louder and louder until it all culminates into a faint but satisfying ding like on a microwave.)
Moose: Ooh, it’s ready!
(TwoBrains shoots out of the roof of the machine, hitting the ground.)
Pesron: Legend! Are you okay?
TwoBrains: Y-yeah. I’m fine,
(The door to the machine opens. Nothing can be seen at first because of all the smoke and mist, but eventually, the clone of TwoBrains emerges.)
TwoBrains’ Clone: Wh-what happened?
(The two TwoBrains see each other and scream.)
TwoBrains’ Clone: Who are you?!
TwoBrains: I’m you. Well actually, you’re me. You are a clone.
TwoBrains’ Clone: What would you use me for?
TwoBrains: I don’t know how to tell you this…
TwoBrains’ Clone: What, you’re gonna make me do all the grunt work while you chill out at your house eating pizza and watching The Cloning Wars?
TwoBrains: …I think you pretty much summed it up.
Moose: (To Pesron.) This is a little crazy, isn’t it?
Pesron: Yeah. I’ll just leave this alone.
TwoBrains: But look on the upside: If you do everything for me, you’ll be the one getting paid!
(Dollar signs appear in TwoBrains’ Clone’s eyes.)
TwoBrains’ Clone: Alright, but I want a proper name, first. I’m not being called “TwoBrains’ Clone” for eternity.
Moose: What about TwoBrains #2?
Pesron: I was leaning more toward TwoBrains II.
TwoBrains’ Clone: I like buff man’s idea. I’m not going to sound like I poop all the time.
Pesron: You can call me Pesron, by the way. That’s Moose with the mask-
TwoBrains II: If I get a name, you guys get a name. You’re Buff Man and Pandemic Dude now.
(Scene cuts abruptly to a comic issue cover, where the superheroes are Buff Man and Pandemic Dude. These “superheroes” are showing fighting a villain that looks a lot like Mystic. On the cover, it says, “Join our legendary superheroes as they face Drug Countess!” Back to the episode…)
Pesron: Eh, I’m fine with that.
(TwoBrains, TwoBrains II, and Pesron leave Moose’s lab, and go to TwoBrains’ house.)
TwoBrains: TwoBrains II, I don’t have any rooms to spare, so you might have to sleep on the couch.
TwoBrains II: As long if it’s not the floor, I’m perfectly fine.
TwoBrains: Great! And now, all of us have a place to sleep in.
(Seeing that it is noon, Pesron goes into the kitchen and looks around for something to eat.)
Pesron: So, what do we have to eat? I could make omelettes, lasagna, soup, eggplant Parmesan…
TwoBrains: Hold on now, Pesron. Why don’t we let TwoBrains II do it?
TwoBrains II: What?
Pesron: TwoBrains is right. You are the clone.
TwoBrains II: But how am I supposed to get paid for housework?!
TwoBrains: You don’t. It’s a chore, like the rest of us have to do.
(However, they do anything but. Cuts directly to TwoBrains II making a big and elegant lunch while TwoBrains and Pesron bring out an old temporary TV and watch it. On it is a four armed guy handcuffed in a jail cell with about five troopers surrounding him.)
Four Armed Guy: Everything I did, I did for good. You will turn on your masters. Destroy them. I tried to protect them.
Sixes: But you didn’t have to do it that way. It was treasonous! And now, we must execute you.
TwoBrains: Good. I never liked that guy.
Pesron: I mean, I see where he’s coming from, but there were safer ways to protect his fellow Jedi.
TwoBrains II: Lunchtime, brainiacs!
Pesron: Woah, that was quick! Thank you.
(They rush to the table and gobble up their meals in under a few seconds. They dash back to the couch, leaving TwoBrains II to clean up the mess. Back to TwoBrains and Pesron, they continue watching the scene.)
Four Armed Guy: Turning to the dark side is a small price to pay for what you’ll do to them! I was saving my life. I was saving your lives! Choose who you’re with: them, or them.
TwoBrains II: Are you guys gonna help me or not?
TwoBrains and Pesron: NOT!
(They watch as Sixes hesitates and lowers his weapon. A large evil grin puts itself on the four armed man’s face, but the slow grin is cut short when Catma takes Sixes’ weapon and fires it square into the man’s back.)
TwoBrains: Ugh, FINALLY!
(Cuts to the store. TwoBrains and Pesron chat as TwoBrains II pushes a cart made heavy by a lot of food and miscellaneous items.)
TwoBrains II: Look, I get the food, and the clothes, but did you really have to buy fifty of the same BLOKO sets?!
TwoBrains: Yes! I need a BLOKO army!
TwoBrains II: Hmph.
(They go into the electronics aisle and inspect a large TV. TwoBrains grabs the price tag and reads it.)
TwoBrains: Twelve hundred dollars?!
Pesron: Where are we supposed to get that much money?
(Silence. Then, the two turn around to look at a tired TwoBrains II.)
TwoBrains: We won’t.
(They look in the newspaper at TwoBrains’ house in the help wanted ads for high-paying jobs. Pesron points at one.)
Pesron: “Great hospitality, lunch provided, effortless labor”! It’s perfect!
TwoBrains II: What is it?
Pesron: It’s an ad. Maybe it can help us get such amount of money.
TwoBrains II: No, I mean which job I’m going to have.
(Cuts to the interior of a dim factory, where TwoBrains slams a hard hat onto TwoBrains II’s head.)
TwoBrains II: Oooof course.
(Letters on the screen say “one week later…” TwoBrains goes home to TwoBrains’ house, tiredly flumping onto the couch while TwoBrains watches a group of younglings and Ashka fight a cyborg with a tank using her newly bought TV.)
TwoBrains: Good evening, TwoBrains II. How was work?
TwoBrains II: (Moaning.) Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
TwoBrains: Tiring?
TwoBrains II: You guessed it.
TwoBrains: Well, it’s lucky you won’t be making dinner tonight.
TwoBrains II: I’m not?
TwoBrains: TwoBrains III is.
TwoBrains: II: What?!
(TwoBrains II gawks at the person making dinner in the kitchen, known as TwoBrains III. Cuts to TwoBrains II venting to Moose in the latter’s lab.)
TwoBrains II: So not only am I doing work all the time and getting none of the money to myself, I’m being replaced!
Moose: Well, what do you want me to do about it?
TwoBrains II: Give me the cloning machine.
(Cuts to TwoBrains’ house again. TwoBrains is still watching TV. TwoBrains II walks in, concealing the machine with a blanket.)
TwoBrains III: Good afternoon, TwoBrains II! Would you like to have a cookie?
TwoBrains II: No, I would not!
TwoBrains: Hey! Whatcha got there?
TwoBrains II: That’s none of your dang business!
TwoBrains III: Mhm, so pest off. 
TwoBrains: Third Girl? What’s with you?
TwoBrains II: Oh, so she gets two nicknames? Alright, that’s fine. I’m just gonna-
(She runs down the hall and enters the guest bedroom.)
TwoBrains: Gosh, you’re so cocky.
TwoBrains III: Tell me about it.
(The two resume laughing at four robots and a bipedal slug attack a ship with fake passengers. Meanwhile, TwoBrains II takes the blanket off the machine.)
TwoBrains II: Alright, how does this work…
(She enters the machine and keeps the door to the machine open. She sticks out an arm and pulls the lever, jerking it back and closing the door. The machine goes through the same process it did last time. However, this time, TwoBrains IV is the one ejected from the roof of the machine. TwoBrains II leaves the machine and goes face to face with TwoBrains IV.)
TwoBrains IV: Hello! Who wants to be friends?
TwoBrains II: That’s not what I need you for. Get in the machine.
TwoBrains IV: Again?
TwoBrains II: No questions asked.
(They both get in this time. Scene cuts to TwoBrains, who opens the door to the guest room and enters.)
TwoBrains: TwoBrains II, are you okay? I noticed a lot of electrical discharge come from this room and- uh oh.
(She lays her eyes onto a hundred clones of TwoBrains II, who are crowded in the room. TwoBrains III enters.)
TwoBrains: You never got your cookie, TwoBrains II… (Sees the clones.) Hello! Do you all want a cookie?
TwoBrains V: Yes, of course!
TwoBrains XXXIX: Sure!
TwoBrains II: Guys, focus on the task at hand… overthrowing TwoBrains!
TwoBrains LXV: Yeah!
TwoBrains XXVII: Let’s get her!
(The hundred clones of TwoBrains II charge at TwoBrains and TwoBrains III. The duo scream and run away. Meanwhile, at the Candle House, it is a particularly dull day.)
Shaduck: Hey, do you think Ombe survived The Cloning Wars?
Mystic: Yeah. Wasn’t he just in-
(TwoBrains and TwoBrains III bust into the house.)
Candle Man: Woah woah WOAH! What’s going on here?
TwoBrains: A hundred clones of my clone are coming after me!
Limefong: ...Did we miss something?
TwoBrains: Yes. A lot.
Shaduck: Well, what?
TwoBrains: Well, a cloning machine made them all.
Mystic: Where did the cloning machine come from?
TwoBrains: It came from- ...actually, I don’t remember. In fact, I can’t remember a thing prior to last week!
Shaduck: But wait, wouldn’t that mean…
(TwoBrains II crashes through a window.)
TwoBrains II: Surrender, TwoBrains!
TwoBrains: No!
(TwoBrains III throws hot cookies at TwoBrains II, who screams. The six escape the house and go to Pesron’s house.)
Pesron: What’s going on?
TwoBrains: First, we have to finish our shocking revelation: I’m the clone!
Pesron: How?
TwoBrains: I don’t know, but I’m guessing when the real TwoBrains came out of the machine, she lost her memory! I must have gone along with the fact that I’m the original!
Mystic: That’s nice and all, but HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THESE CLONES OUT OF HERE?!
Limefong: We need to get all the clones out of here, isolate the real one, and help her regain her memory!
Candle Man: But how do we get her memory back?
TwoBrain: Me.
(TwoBrain walks through the door by himself.)
TwoBrain: If you can get me onto the real TwoBrains’ head, I can show her what she forgot! 
TwoBrains II: Good idea! Let’s get it on her head!
(Cuts to outside, where it is now nightfall. TwoBrains and her hundred clones look around for TwoBrains II. Shaduck appears, with the old TV in his arms. On it, a shriveled green guy and a robot fly onto a red planet with a ship.)
Shaduck: Hey, guys, look! The Cloning Wars!
(TwoBrains and her clones, elated, run towards Limefong and the show. Without the others noticing, Mystic grabs TwoBrains and pulls her into Pesron’s house.)
Shaduck: WHAT ABOUT ME?!
Mystic: You’re on your own again! Lead them away from here!
Shaduck: Ugh, not agAIIIIIIIIINNNN!!!
(He runs away from the pursuing clones. Meanwhile, in Pesron’s house…)
TwoBrains: Ah! Unhand me, you uncivilized people!
(TwoBrain hops onto TwoBrains’ head, restoring her memory.)
TwoBrains: Guys? Wh-what happened?
Pesron: Your clones made a mess of everything.
TwoBrains: Clones? Plural?
TwoBrains II: Long story.
(Shaduck runs in.)
Candle Man: You’re back! But where are the clones?
Shaduck: I put the TV on the plane to Corukan Prime. You’re welcome.
Mystic: Then all’s well that ends well!
Limefong: But what about (gestures to TwoBrains II and III) these two?
TwoBrains II: Yeah, what about us?
TwoBrains: I have the perfect place for you two.
(Cuts to TwoBrains’ house, where TwoBrains and TwoBrains II watch a stop motion movie made by TwoBrains II and with BLOKOs. TwoBrains III walks in with freshly baked cookies. They all take one. TwoBrains III sits on the couch as they eat the cookies.)
TwoBrains III: I think this will be just fine.
TwoBrains: You know, I wonder what became of those ninety-nine clones.
TwoBrains II: I don’t think it’s our business.
(However, on Corukan Prime, Baghead fights off many clones of TwoBrains while trying to make it to his ship.)
Baghead: LET ME GO!
TwoBrains XII: Not until you make us cookies!
Baghead: NEVER! R7-A1, START THE SHIP!
(Baghead jumps onto the ship, which is parked right above him. The ship is driven away.)
TwoBrains VIII: Rats.
TwoBrains XXI: What now?
TwoBrains XCIII: ...Let’s force the planet to make millions of cookies!
(Cheering is heard as the clones run off into the sunset. Episode ends.)