Stealing First Base/Quotes

:Ms. Hoover: There was a mix-up with your test. You got an A+++. Seems the F belonged to Ralph.
:Ralph: I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers!
----
:Bart: I'm sorry!
:Nikki: Ugh! You're always apologizing.
----
:Nikki: What do you mean about 'us'?
:Bart: Well, like, uh, aren't you my girlfriend now?
----
:Bart: I'm not gonna let you hurt me anymore.
----
:Skinner: Any physical contact violates our school's no-touch policy.
----
:Skinner: I prefer dead child to a lawsuit from your parents.
----
:Kevin: Let's me touch your face. That's way, I can see you with my finger. Eww! I said your face, not your butt!
----
:Bart: Nikki, thanks for saving my life.
:Nikki: Look, can we just pretend that never happened? I don't want everyone at School to go around thinking I like you.
:Bart: I don't get you. You're hot, you're cold. What is your deal?
:Nikki: Bart, you have some things to learn about women.
:(shuts locker door)
:Nikki: And I will never tell you what they are.
:Bart: I give up! Smell ya later. (walks off)
:Nikki: (kisses Bart on the cheek)
:Bart: I love you!
----
:Skinner: So the lesson is, children—
:Michelle Obama: I'll tell them what the lesson is.
:Chalmers: He's our Joe Biden.
:Michelle Obama: Understood.
----
:Skinner: I'm Bart Simpson. Disruptive fourth grader.
:Homer: We finally caught one of Bart's school plays.
:Marge: That's not Bart. It's Principal Skinner. Bart's sitting right next to you. (Points to Bart next to him)
:Homer: (Staring hard at Skinner) Yeah, now that I look closer, that guy couldn't fool anybody.
:Skinner: Shut up, fatso.
:Homer: Why you little...! (rushes on stage and starts strangling Skinner. Chalmers then sends Martin & Wendell to restrain Homer and they do so)
----
:Homer: Thanks to our new GPS, I can get to school in no time. (His car then departs home for school)
:GPS Voice: Turn right in 50 m.
:Homer: Oh, metres?!
:Lisa: Dad, a metre is 3" longer than a yard (3 ft), which is 36", so 50 / (39 x 36) = ...
:GPS Voice: You have missed your turn. Recalculating... Turn right in 5 m.
----
:(On top of a slide, with both of their skateboards)
:Nikki: ...sooo, what should we do now?
:Grampa: (appears as part of Bart's mind) Kiss her, ya idjit! (Bart does so and kisses Nikki)
:Nikki: (recoils in disgust) UGH! Bart Simpson kissed me! (gasps) Oh my God, and that was my first kiss... that will always be my first kiss... EWW!
:(Bart's skateboard slides off backwards, Bart flees)
:Nelson: (to Kevin) Say "Ha Ha".
:Kevin: (points at Bart) Haw haw.
:Nelson: That was great! Really great!