Transcripts 2000-08

Transcripts from August 2000 strips.
==August 1==
Panel 1Kingston is sitting on the couch while Richard is standing behind him and making a disgusted gesture. Kingston is wearing a plain white shirt with green hems while Richard is wearing a "dead smiley face" shirt.Richard: What the? Why the hell are you watching the WWF for Kingston?Kingston: I lost the remote and I can't be f**ked to look for it!Panel 2Kingston flips off Richard while Richard turns to face him with a smug expression.Richard: Oh yeah? Well I reckon that the big guy with the fat arse gives you a hard on and you love it!Kingston: Oh FUNNY! F**k you Edwards!Panel 3Richard turns away, the remote in his hand. Kingston looks up at him.Richard: Well the remote's here behind the sofa. What do you wanna watch?Kingston: Anything that's more mature than this shit!Richard: Cartoon Network?Kingston: Go for it.
==August 7==
Panel 1Richard and Kingston are sitting on the couch and smoking joints, tripping as they face each other. Richard is wearing the "dead smiley face" shirt, while Kingston has on a pink shirt with a white "Up" arrow.Richard: Whoa, fuck me! This is like... some really fucked shit man! Where the hell did'ya get it?Kingston: SSSssshhs! Be... be... er not so noisy man! I'm like, watch, watching this er.. film!Panel 2Both look at the television, laughing.Richard: Hu hu! Yeah, It's like this film is like funny and stuff! It's like... uh... funny!Kingston: Huhuhuhuhuhuh! Yeah! Huhuhuh! It makes me laugh too! Huhuh!!Panel 3Richard and Kingston look at each other again.Richard: Er.. like whotsit called anyway?Kingston: Apocalypse Now... or... I'm hungry!
==August 14==
Panel 1Richard and Anne are sitting on the couch. Anne is leaning back into Richard and pointing at the ceiling. Richard is leaning back, resting his head on his right hand with his elbow on the couch armrest.Anne: I've just noticed how awful his place looks! We *really* need to redecorate in here!Richard: I think it's fine so why waste money and the effort?Panel 2The camera rotates slightly so Anne is facing more forward. Anne keeps looking up at the ceiling while Richard reaches around to the front of Anne's pants.Anne: It's not fine! It's horrible! I mean look at these walls! They're filthy! Not to mention that everything clashes with this damn ugly sofa you insist on keeping.Panel 3Richard reaches deeper into Anne's pants and gropes her left breast. Anne looks distracted.Anne: Um... I don't care if it... ah... is comfy. It looks... er... looks... Panel 4The camera rotates back to facing the couch straight on. Richard is aggressively messing inside Anne's pants. Richard has a grin on his face while Anne leans her head back, eyes closed and giddy.Richard: Sorry, I didn't catch that last bit.Anne: Oh nothing... Forget it!Panel 5Close-up of Richard's and Anne's faces. Anne has her mouth closed in a pleased S-shaped smile, making a heart-shaped sound.Richard (thinking): Avoiding arguments has been easy since the day I found out she has an off button!
==August 21==
Panel 1Unknown, bored-looking fox character wearing a suit and tie with jacket is administering a Voight-Kampff test. A picture of a red demon(?) from the eyes up with the word "YEE!" on it is on the wall.Fox: Reaction time is a factor in this so please pay attention.Fox: Answer as quickly as you can. Let see... 101 Mizeray Street...Panel 2Norman is sitting in a chair, looking over his shoulder in discomfort.Norman: Yeah that's the house where I live!Off-panel (Fox): Oh... Nice place?Norman: Yeah sure I guess. Is this the test?Panel 3Silhouettes of Norman and the test administrator, with the VK machine between them.Fox: Describe in single words only the good things that come to mind about... your mother.Norman: My mother?Panel 4Norman shakes the desk in anger.Norman: Let me tell about my mother!Panel 5Norman, gritting his teeth in rage, is grabbing the now-scared test administrator by the jacket collar.Fox: Okay Mr Gates you win! I'll reinstate you job-seekers allowance...Fox: Just *PLEASE* don't tell me about your mother again!
==August 28==
Panel 1Al is talking into the camera.Al: After getting a load of grief about the content of this strip I decided this week to make a totally inoffensive S.S.D.D.Al: Show this one to your mum.Panel 2Kingston is standing with his arms crossed, looking into the camera. He is wearing his usual hat and orange shirt with shoulder pads.Panel 3Kingston looks down at his watch.Panel 4Same as panel 2 but the camera zooms out to show Kingston's yellow(ish) pants, and also Kingston is leaning his head and also looking to his left.Panel 5Al turns to his left and waves a hand in dismissal.Al: Ah bollocks to this idea! IF you want inoffensive read 'Family Circus' or some shite like that, coz I'm off down the pub!Al: I draw better when I'm totally shit-faced anyway!
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