Robots/Transcript

There you go. - Thanks.
Herb: I'm gonna be a dad! I just talked to my wife. My baby's gonna be delivered any minute. 
Robot: Hey, get out of the way.
Herb: Hey, I'm gonna be a dad. Congratulate me. 
Hydrant: Good for you, Herb. Don't even think about it. 
Hey! Sorry. How are you? Nice to see you. 
Herb: I'm gonna be a dad! Congrats! Hey, Mr. Nuts, did you hear the news? 
Robot: Yeah.
Herb: Beautiful day, isn't it? I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.
Lydia: Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You missed the delivery. It's okay. Making the baby's the fun part. Honey, I think you've got the wrong...
Herb: No, I don't need to see the directions. 
Lydia: Twelve hours of labor. Oh, but it was worth it.
Herb: Look at him. Look at him! Rodney Copperbottom. He's got your mom's eyes and my dad's nose. I KNEW we were smart to save those parts. This Copperbottom will do great things for the world, I can FEEL it! 
Lydia: Honey? 
Herb: What? 
Lydia: What's that extra piece? 
Herb: Oh, no, they always put in an extra... We did want a boy, right? This won't hurt a bit, son.  Got your nose. Got your nose. Got your... Hi, son.
Young Rodney: Are those my big-boy parts? 
Herb: They sure are! 
They're not shiny. Well, they're not brand-new. They're preowned. So... They're hand-me-downs from your cousin Jeffrey. And they're only for a year. Hey, Dad, who's that? That, Rodney, is Bigweld. The greatest robot in the world. I thought you were the greatest robot in the world. No, besides me. He's the head of Bigweld Industries. He invents things that make everyone's life better. - Could I meet him? - Sure, maybe someday. - Dad? - Yeah? - What do you do? - Me? I work in a big, fancy restaurant. I'm a dishwasher. And now, live from Robot City, it's The Bigweld Show. Oh, yeah! Come on, Dad, you're missing it! All right, Rodney! All right, I'm coming. I'm coming! I had to bring work home with me again, I'm sorry. Mr. Gunk has really been piling it on. And now, the host of our show, Bigweld! Welcome! This week I thought you'd like to take a look around Bigweld Industries. This here is the front gate. Kind of cute, ain't it? - Good morning, Tim. - Good morning, Mr. Bigweld, sir! Tim, who closed the front gate? Well, I just thought since... We never shut the gate, Tim. Shutting this gate means shutting out fresh ideas. See, every day, robots come here from hither and yon... ...bringing us new ideas. And I listen to every single one of them. So remember, whether a bot is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts... ...you can shine no matter what you're made of. He's talking to me, Dad. He sure is, son. He sure is. Okay, folks, let's get to inventing. You know, I love to tinker... ...but all the tinkering in the world isn't useful unless it starts with a good idea. So look around for a need and start coming up with ideas to fill that need. One idea will lead to another, and before you know it... ...you've done it! See a need, fill a need. That's it, Dad. I have to look for... ...a need. Easy, now. - Hey there, sport. - Oh, hi. These are your 12-year-old parts. They're... Hand-me-downs. I know, Dad. - I don't mind. - They are from your cousin... ...Veronica. You know how popular she is. Thanks. Oh, hey. Hey. Soon as you reach the age where your warranty expires, you start falling apart. Pretty soon there's gonna be more duct tape than me. - Can I try it now, Dad? - Oh, Rodney... - Have you worked all the kinks out of it? - This is gonna make your job easy. I invented it for you. Okay. Let's try it. Great. Okay, this is it. Wonderbot, go to work. Yeah, yeah. Hey! Copperbottom! - Mr. Gunk! - What is that?! - Oh, that. My son made it. - What's it doing? Mr. Gunk, please, you're making it nervous. It's wrecking my kitchen! - I'll stop it. - NO! Your son, huh? It wasn't his fault! He had nothing to do with it! Yes, sir, he's a brilliant boy. An inventor. You, clean up this mess. And, you, get out. Inventor. You're the hand-me-down son of a dishwasher, and that's all you'll ever be. Somebody scrape this crud off of me. And serve it to the customers. Roundtrip or one-way? One-way. There you are. I told you I'd find him. - It's a mother's instinct. - Instinct? He left us a note: "I'm leaving. I'll be at the train station. " Never mind. Pick up that suitcase. You're coming home. No, Mom. I have to do this. I'm going to Robot City tonight. I'm gonna get a job and I'm gonna help Dad pay back Mr. Gunk. Talk to him. - Ro... - Robot City!? You're just a kid! I'm never gonna be someone here. I wanna be an inventor. I wanna meet Bigweld. I wanna BE somebody! You are somebody. Somebody who's not getting on that train! - Yes, I am. - Talk to him. - One ticket for Robot City. - Where are you going? - Not me. Him. - But... Rodney, did you know that when I was your age, I wanted to be a musician? I played pretty well too... ...but my dad was worried I wouldn't be able to make a living. So I got refitted to be a dishwasher. Now, I'm not complaining. But I've always said to myself... ...if I could do it over again, I would follow my dream. You've got greatness in you, Rodney. Never doubt it. You go to Robot City. You go meet Bigweld, and you show him your big ideas. And, Rodney... ...never, never give up. All aboard. Mom. I won't let you down, Dad. I'll make you proud. I know you will. Excuse me, I wonder if... - Gave at the office. - I wonder if you... Could you direct me to Bigweld Indust...? - What? - Perfect. That will be 50 bucks. Fifty bucks?! For what!? A beautiful picture of your first moment in Robot City. There. Your second moment. That's another $50. Are you keeping track? Come on, work with me, work with me. More pout, less pose. Great. Inside of you is a fashion model waiting to throw up. Give me those eyes. Big eyes! big eyes! Give me big anime eyes. - Yeah! Loving it, loving it, loving it!! - I don't WANT any pictures! - You don't? - NO! That's all right. There's no film. Would you like a map to the stars' homes? Where did he go? - Buddy, wanna buy a watch? - Don't buy us, we're fakes. Next. Excuse me, how do I get to Bigweld Industries? Oh, great... Never mind. Hi, excuse me. How do I get to Bigweld Industries? What? Yeah, thanks. Cross-town express to Foundry District... ...with stops at Bigweld Industries and Battery Park only. Please tighten all spools, nuts, bolts and detachable appendages. Riders with high oil pressure are advised to take the local. Thank you, and have a nice day. No, no. - Say, are you following me? - No. - First time on the cross-town express? - Well, actually, I... Oh, boy. Good luck in the big city. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. And if you can't make it here, welcome to the club. - Oh, no. - What? What is it? We're going off the track! We're gonna crash! - WHAT?! - I don't wanna die! WOOOAH! AAAAHHHHHH!!!! I was just kidding. Just put your head between your legs. Huh? WOOOOOOAA.... AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Yeah! There goes my stop. I tell you, the things that fall off me... It's embarrassing. Sorry. You know, it used to be a lot worse. They had this giant hammer... Oh, they brought it back. Stick with me. I know this town like the back of my hand. Hey, that's new. AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!! 
Tim:Excuse me. Can I help you? 
Rodney: Sorry, I... Hey, you're Tim from the TV show! 
Tim: That's me. 
Rodney:Well, hey, Tim. Who closed the gate? It's never supposed to be...
Tim: Yeah, okay, what do you want? I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld. I'm an inventor. 
Tim:Oh, why didn't you say so? Stand back. 
Rodney: Thanks. WHAT?! 
Tim:I got you. You see, because you were all excited and then, boom! All right, I had my laugh. Go on in. Now, that's funny. The second time. You really think I'm gonna let you in. But I'm not. Sorry, kid, nobody gets in. Company rules. 
Rodney:Company ru...? Well, then how do they hire new inventors? 
Tim:They don't. Those days are over. My advice: Come back two years ago. Then the job is yours. 
So remember, whether a bot is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts... ...you can shine no matter what you're made of. My goodness, what a remarkable legacy. Concern for the common robot. You don't come across old-fashioned values like that anymore, friends. And for good reason. There's no money in it! Hello? Memo to Bigweld: We're not a charity. That's why old fat face no longer sits in the big chair. He's a relic. So I don't wanna hear another, "Where's Bigweld?" We'll see him next month at the Bigweld Ball. He always goes to that. Now, let's get down to the business of sucking every loose penny... ...out of Mr. and Mrs. Average-Knucklehead. What's our big-ticket item? Upgrades, people. Upgrades. That's how we make the dough. Now, if we're telling robots that no matter what they're made of, they're "fine"... ...how can we expect them to feel crummy enough about themselves... ...to buy our upgrades and make themselves look better? Therefore, I've come up with a new slogan. "Why be you when you can be new?" I gotta tell you, I think it's brilliant... ...but, honestly, I'd like to hear what you employees think about this. - Hear, hear. - Out of the ballpark, Ratchet. Just don't look down. Hey. Get off. Go on, get off. Get off of... Cappy, you haven't said a word. - It gave me chills. - Thank you, thank you. - But... - But? I'm just wondering, why would robots buy new upgrades... ...if parts are so much cheaper? Oh, right. Well, that's easy. Because as of today, we are no longer making spare parts. Do you know what I call robots who can't afford upgrades? Scrap metal. You see them on the streets, misshapen and rust-covered. They turn your insides out. You wanna run home and scrub yourself. Now, Cappy, I want your department to push our new slogan. In fact, I'm moving you into the office right next to mine. We'll be working very, very closely together on this one. - Won't that be fun? - Oodles. Uhh, Uhh!, heh., - Oh, so sorry, I... - What the...? Sir, I am a young inventor, and it has been my dream to come to Robot City... ...and to present my ideas to Mr. Bigweld. Who doesn't seem to be here. Gee, no, no. But while he's away, he left me in charge. Oh, well, then let me show you what this can do. I have a better idea. Why don't you let me show you what it can do. It can do, this! 
Tim: So how did it go?
Rodney: What the heck is going on around here?! Some highly polished jerk is sitting in Bigweld's chair!
Tim: And you're sitting on the sidewalk, magnetized! 
Rodney: Listen, I'll be back, and I'm gonna get to the BOTTOM of this! 
Tim: When you pick a lost cause, you really commit! Where do they make dreamers like you? GET LOST, FREAK!!!!
Gasket: All right, break time. All right, break time's over. Chop-chop. Look who's here.
Ratchet: Hi, Mom. 
Gasket: Hi, sweetie. How's my boy?
Ratchet: Great. I did just what you told me. No more spare parts. In a couple of weeks, those broken-down losers out there will be scrap metal. You will be up to your bloomers in broken-elbow junk. 
Gasket: Such a good boy. And after you finish off Bigweld. there will be nobody out there to fix them. 
Ratchet: Exactly! You wanna swing that one by me again? 
Gasket: Idiot! Those outmodes look up to him. - Suppose he decides to come back? 
Ratchet: Oh, come on, Mom. - He's not gonna be trouble where he is. 
Gasket: What are you afraid of? Grow some bolts. Or do you want to end up like your father? 
Mr. Gasket: Hey, son. Good to see you. 
Gasket: Think what it would mean. Not Bigweld Industries, Ratchet Industries. 
Ratchet: Keep talking. 
Gasket: Ratchet City! 
Ratchet: Yes, everything shiny. 
Gasket: No more Bigweld, no more outmode. 
Ratcet: Let's do it! 
Gasket: That's my boy! Are you hungry? Can I get you something? - You look thin. - 
Ratchet: No, no, no, Mom. I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Pop. 
Mr. Gasket: So long, son. Good luck with your dastardly plans. 
Rodney:Hey.
Fender: Hi there. Listen, if I seem to be getting smaller, it's because I'm leaving. Foot, don't fail me now. 
Rodney:Stop! Hey, you got my foot! 
Fender:Oh, great. Happy now?
Rodney: Not until you give me back my foot, you mugger.
Fender: I am not a mugger. I happen to be.....a scrounger. I didn't know you were at the end of that foot.
Rodney: Here, let me help you with that.
Fender:No, no, no, I'll do it myself. I have my pride, you know. Over here. Oh, no. No, not that close. Hold on, hold on. No. No, no.
Crank:What's the use? There's nothing left.
Lugnut: Hey, Diesel, I found you a voice box. Here's another one. 
Crank:That's no good. Give me that. 
Lugnut:I can never find parts in my size. What is it, boy? Hey, Fender, have you lost weight? 
Crank::Lost weight? Look at where you're looking. He's a head in a basket. We're doomed, I knew it. We're doomed. 
Fender:Yeah, will you shut up, you neurotic nut? Why, I'd smack you if I had a hand. Wow, speak of the devil, here I come. Dang! 
 
Piper: Whoa check this out. Who would throw away such a cute little doodad?  Don't be scared. 
Rodney:Hey, that's mine.
 
Fender:That's him. That's the guy. I would know that face. I know that face, and I know that foot. He's over there, moron. That's the perpetrator. He knocked my head off. You want another piece of me? 
Piper:All right, buster. If you think you can mess with my big brother, you're... You're kind of cute.
Crank:Piper, would you behave yourself. Now, come on, let's get Fender fixed. Again.
Piper: Here's your thingamabob. By the way, the name's Piper. Rhymes with "viper. " See you around.
Fender:We've told you a hundred times: "Don't talk to strange men. " Thank you, Manuel. 
Piper:I talk to you. Who's stranger than that? 
Jackhammer:I got good news, and I got bad news. 
Fender:What's the bad news? 
Jackhammer:I checked the stock book. And as of today, they are no longer making parts for your model. You have been officially outmoded. 
Fender:Outmoded? Well, that's fine. What's the good news?! 
Jackhammer:Well, when we had your parts, they were on sale. 
Fender:How could this happen to me? I'm practically a kid. 
Jackhammer:Geez. Look, pull yourself together. All you need is an upgrade.
Lugnut: That new-upgrade smell. 
Jackhammmer:Just came in, fully loaded. Look. It's got cup-holders, standard. 
FendeR:Does it come in plus sizes? 
Jackhammer:Sure, take a look at the new Bigweld spring collection. 
Fender:I can't afford that fancy stuff. All I need is one stinking neck joint. No. Why did this happen to me? I'm hurting me. Idiot. 
Jackhammer:Sorry, pal, it's either upgrade or the chop shop for you. 
Fender:The chop shop? I'm fine, I'm fine. Look, no hands. Ta-da! I'm back. Miss me? 
Piper:- No one's going to the chop shop. 
Crank:That's right. What do you think we can get for him? Nothing I've been thinking about.
Piper:Will you stop? Listen, shiny pants... ...you get back there and find a part for my brother. We are not junk, we are not scrap, and we will not be treated this way.
Jackhammer: I'm sorry. I don't have the parts. 
Rodney:Well, do you have two washers, an S-spring and some Fastweld? I can fix you easy.
The Force is strong with this one.
Rodney: When was the last time you got oiled? I can't answer that with my kid sister here. 
Piper:Can it, Fender.
Rodney: Hold still. This might tickle.
Fender:We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Fender. Used to be Bumper... ...but had to change it when we came in to the country.
Rodney:Copperbottom, Rodney Copperbottom.
Fender:Riddle me this: Why did I meet you among the garbage?
Rodney: Well, today I tried to get in to see Bigweld.
Piper: Well, if you find him, tell him we really need him to come back. He cared about bots like us.
Crank: I heard they've done him in and left the rest of us to fall apart.
Rodney: Well, that ought to do it. 
Fender:Look at that! And he fixed my neck. Sweeper! 
Rodney: Sweeper?
Fender: Make yourself scarce.
Rodney: What's the big deal? 
Piper:Well, if you're an outmode like Fender... 
Fender: Hey. 
Crank::They sweep you up and take you to the chop shop.
Piper: Where they melt you down and turn you into something else.
Rodney: You mean...? 
Piper: Yep. 
Fender: Sweepers. Sweepers. Help. Here's one outmode you're not gonna get.
Piper: Fender, run! That was close.
Fender: When in Robot City, guests of the Rusties... That's us. - stay at Aunt Fanny's boarding house, where our motto is: "Beats rusting outside." Let me just let her know you're here. Aunt Fanny! We brought someone.
Aunt Fanny: I'm in the kitchen.
Rodney: Are you sure your aunt won't mind? 
Fender:Relax, she's not my aunt. She just takes in bots who are broke. Bless her little heart. 
Rodney:Well, then why is she called Aunt Fanny? 
Fender:We couldn't call her Aunt Booty.
Rodney:Whoa!
Aunt Fanny: Oh, scrap. 
Piper:She's a little artsy-fartsy. The artsy's okay, but when she gets fartsy...
Aunt Fanny:Look at... Oh, right on my shoes. I'm so clumsy. Well, hello there. What's your name?
Rodney:I'm Rodney Bigbottom... No, I'm Rodney Copperbottom. Copperbottom.
Aunt Fanny:That's a wonderful name, Bigbottom. Well, I just... - What happened to your friend? -
Fender:He's been rear-ended.
Aunt Fanny: Oh, there you are. 
Fender:Aunt Fanny, he needs a place to stay. 
Aunt Fanny:Well, just make yourself at home.
Rodney: Thank you. That's very kind of you. 
Aunt Fanny:My pleasure. See a need, fill a need. 
Rodney:Hey, just like Bigweld.
Aunt Fanny: Bigweld. That's a lot of robot. Come on. 
Fender:You can bunk with me. We'll ignore the gossip. You missed a spot.
Piper: Fender, get out of my room!
Fender: I'm not in your room. I am now. Now I'm not. I am. Not. Am...
Piper: Get out of my room!
 
Crank:Oh, man, this is my third oil change today. Something's wrong with me.
Fender: Sorry. Here we are. Home sweet home. What's mine is yours. Oh, dear.
Rodney: I'll get them.
Fender: Look at that. Now they're arm-wrestling. Could you separate them? Hurry! My backside itches. I know that sounds bad, but I'm just doing musical arm farts. You know how to do those? They're hard to do, because we're metal, but that's where the skill comes in. I'm real close. Listen. No, wait. No, wait, wait. You can't tell me that didn't sound like a... Like an old man. 
Rodney:You know, I'm a little tired. Maybe tomorrow. 
Fender:Kind of a rough day, huh? 
Rodney:Kind of. My dad's probably sitting by the phone...waiting for his brilliant son to call...and tell him what a big success my first day was. I know it's not your problem. If you burden your friends, you won't have any. 
Fender:What are you, a fortune cookie? "That's what friends... " You consider me a friend? 
Rodney:Sure, what else would I consider you? 
Fender:I don't know. An embarrassment, a way to rebel against your parents.....a desperate cry for help. The list is endless.
Rodney: Let's just stick with friend. 
Fender:You know, even though you had a discouraging day, remember... ...there's another one coming tomorrow. You know, my last roommate jumped out that window.
Rodney: Hey, Fender. 
Fender:Yeah, baby. Let it rip! 
Crank:Guys, come on, what are you, 3 years old? This is how a man does it. 
Piper:You guys are so gross. Besides, this is how you do it.
Aunt Fanny: Hey, kids, get a load of this.
Piper: Aunt Fanny, we were using our arms. 
Aunt Fanny:Oh, excuse me. 
Street-Lamp bot: Lady, please... ...see a doctor...
Aunt Fanny:Breakfast. This will perk everyone up. Some of Aunt Fanny's fresh-brewed grease. 
Robots:Yummy! 
Aunt Fanny:Careful, it's hot. 
Rodney:So, what are you guys doing today? 
Fender: We're doing it. 
Piper: What about you? 
Rodney:Bigweld's disappeared, and you're sitting here. 
Fender:That's already been established. 
Rodney: Well, I gotta find out what happened to him. 
Crank: Hey, you want my advice? 
Rodney:Sure. 
Crank:Forget it. "Never try, never fail." Those are the words I live by. 
Rodney:Crank, the idol of millions is gone, and no one seems to care. There should be an angry mob out there. What the...? 
Fender:Wow, that was great, psychic friend. Now say, "Money should be falling from the sky. "Say it. Say it. 
Jackhammer:Sorry, folks, all sold out. Nothing but upgrades from here on in. 
Female Bot:But I like myself just the way I am. 
Male bot:We can't afford upgrades! 
Another bot:Let's get him! 
Trash bot:Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? Don't throw me. Isn't that the guy that fixed Fender's neck? 
Bot:Yeah, that guy fixes bots. 
Jackhammer:Yeah, that kid can help you. 
Fender:Brace yourself. You're about to get popular. Only those with insurance. Oh, I forgot. Everybody, come on.
Old bot: Parts, man. I need parts. 
Rodney:You don't look that... bad. 
Bot: Hey, everybody, spare parts! 
Rodney: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What's wrong with you robots? 
Fender:You should all be ashamed of yourselves. 
Rodney:Why do you have two noses? 
Fender:One's for showing, one's for blowing. Sorry. 
Broken Bot:Hey, could you look at my arm? 
Rodney: Nice grip. 
Bot: Like iron. 
Bot 2: I can't get rid of this spare tire. 
Bot 3: I am losing my mind.
Fender:Back off, back off. He's got his own dreams that won't come true
Rodney:See a need, fill a need. Wait. Who wants to get fixed? 
Toilet bot: Thanks, Rodney. You're number one.
Robots: Rodney! Rodney! Rodney! 
Ratchet:Oh, yeah. I have never felt so relaxed. Say, do you mind giving me a little scratch between the shoulder blades? There you... Easy, tiger. Hey! Take it easy. Hey, what are you trying to do, kill me? 
Gasket:Relax. It's me, your mommy. 
Ratchet:How did you get in here? 
Gasket: I came up the air shaft. I know you don't like anybody here to see me. 
Ratchet: Well, what do you want? 
Gasket:Someone's fixing them. 
Ratchet: What? 
Gasket:Someone is repairing outmodes....and they are laughing at you. 
Ratchet: Who? And are you sure they're not laughing with me? 
Gasket:Yes. 
Ratchet:So what if one crazy fanatic repairs a few outmodes? Who cares?
Gasket: Think. Use those brains I stole for you. Today, it's one. What about tomorrow, when everybody gets the idea this is okay? "We can fix ourselves. We don't need upgrades. We want Bigweld." Then what happens to you? 
Ratchet:Okay, okay. Take it easy. We've got to find out who this is and stop him.
Gasket: Not stop him, crush him, destroy him. And by the way, I brought you a little something for your desk. 
Rodney:Is there anyone else waiting? -
Fender: Let me look. A few. 
Rodney:"A few"? 
Piper"What did you expect, Rodney? Bigweld was gone. Sweepers were on the loose, but then came Copperbottom. I'm getting all static-y just thinking about it. 
Rodney:I'm not Bigweld. These robots need parts. 
Mail Bot:Mail call. Mail call. Copperbottom, this one's from your mom.
Fender: Oh, is there anything for me? 
Mail Bot:Oh, I got something for you. That's from my sister. 
Fender:I recognize the handwriting.
Piper: Is anything wrong?
Fender: I'll say. His father's got one foot in the junkyard....and if they can't find new parts for him, he's only got a few miles left. 
Piper:Rodney, are you really worried about your dad? 
Aunt FAnny:Do you wanna go home? 
Rodney:Well, if I go home, I still can't help him. We're out of parts. We've gotta get to Bigweld. He's the only one that can fix this.
Piper: He's trying to tell us something. What is it, boy? What's wrong? Bigweld is going dancing.
Aunt Fanny:Of course, the Bigweld Ball. You can't have the Bigweld Ball without Bigweld. 
Rodney:Well, that's it, then. I'm going to the Bigweld Ball. 
Crank:What? That's the fanciest party of the year. You'll never get past the gate. 
Tim: Can I help you? 
Fender:I think maybe you can. This is Count Roderick von Brokenzipper. Formerly Count Velcro. Where are the trumpets? We were promised trumpets to announce the count's arrival. Sorry, Your Grace. Beat me until you're happy. He's happy. And I'm not feeling too bad myself.
Tim: Let me...You're not on the list. 
Fender:We're what? Once again. Thank you. Fine, we will go. You'll explain to your superiors...why we were not able to attend your little luau, barn dance, whatever it is. But we're leaving in a huff.
Tim: No, no. No. Please, go right in. In fact, would the count like to hit me? 
Fender:The count hit you? The arrogance of some people. I will hit you on his behalf. Thank you, Your Grace. 
Rodney:Okay, let's split up. If you see Bigweld, come and find me. If anything goes wrong, we'll signal each other. 
Fender:What kind of signal do you want? You want something kind of subtle, like: Or: Oh, how about this: Ricola! 
Rodney:Subtle. Let's get to work.
Famous bot: A screwdriver, please. Shaken, not stirred.
Waiter Bot: Yes, sir.
Famous bot:I'll have what he's having. 
Ratchet:You know, Cappy, it's nice that you can see me like this, away from work. See my more casual, fun-loving side. Now, where were we? 
Loretta:Well, there are never any interesting men at these parties. 
Fender:Hello, ladies. Fender von Fender at your service.
Loretta: Hi, I'm Loretta...Geargrinder. Anyone dressed as badly as you are must be an eccentric billionaire. 
Announcer:Ladies and gentlebots, now coming to the stage....the top bot, the big bolt...who's your daddy? Mr. Phineas T. Ratchet. 
Ratchet:Thank you. We now come to the point of the evening. where I have the tremendous honor of introducing...
Rodney: Excuse me. Sorry. 
Ratchet:. our beloved founder, Mr. Bigweld...who, unfortunately, is unable to attend.
Rodney: What? 
Ratchet: He sends his apologies....his love and a small box of assorted cookies. 
Rodney: Not coming? 
Ratchet:And what are you doing here? 
Rodney:What have you done with Bigweld? How come we don't see him anymore, huh? 
Ratchet:Okay. Security, we have a party-crasher. 
Rodney:Yeah, that's right, and I had to put all this junk on in order to get in here so that I could tell Bigweld that you are outmoding millions of bots. And I know because I spend all day fixing them. 
Ratchet:You. 
Fender:Oh, my darling, that is the cry of the deep-doo-doo bird. I must fly. 
Rachet:Take him for a drive...and bring me back his exact weight in paper clips. 
Cappy: No! 
Ratchet:No?
Cappy: I'll escort him out. You don't wanna look bad in front of your people, do you? -
Ratchet:Good point.
Cappy: - When I get back.....I'll show you my casual, fun-loving side. 
Ratchet:Oh, you. 
Cappy: Get moving. 
Rodney: What? What are you doing? 
Cappy:Saving your life. 
Rodney: Come on. 
Fender: Let him go. Let him go. Let him go. 
Cappy: Get out of here, you idiot. 
Ratchet:Get him! 
Rodney:Fender, let's go. 
Cappy:You know him?
Loretta: Fender, wait for me. 
Rodney:Wonderbot. 
Ratchet:Get out of my way! 
Rodney:Hey, Tim, I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld. 
Tim:Oh, you again.
Rodney: Oh, that was amazing. So where do we go now? 
Cappy: I'm taking you to the train station. 
Rodney:What? No way. 
Cappy:You don't know what you're dealing with here. Ratchet will use your head for a hood ornament. 
Rodney:Look, I'm not leaving until I find Bigweld.
Cappy: That's not..
Rodney:. Can't you take me to him? 
Cappy:I must be out of my mind. 
Fender:Au rservoir, my darling. 
Loretta:Thanks for walking me home. 
Fender:Thanks for carrying me up that hill. 
Loretta:Until tomorrow? 
Fender: I shall count the seconds. So far, I'm up to four. 
Loretta:You crazy nut boy.
Fender: Crazy about you. I'm singing in the oil I'm singing in the oil After all that work and toil I'm just slipping in the oil I know where I've been sent I'm covered in lubricant My life has turned around. From now on, I'm a winner! Stop, you've made a mistake! I'm alive! You can't do this! Help! 
Cappy:Okay, we tried. Let's get out of here. 
Rodney:No, no, no. Something's up. Look at all these newspapers and this mail. 
Cappy: Oh..Come on. They probably stopped delivering these years ago. 
News robot:Paper. Late edition. 
Rodney:You say something? 
Cappy:Nice one of you. Come on. We gotta get you out of here. Big, creaky door. Perfect. 
Rodney: Oh. Wow. Look at this. This is Bigweld's actual workshop. I recognize it from his old TV show. 
Cappy:Could you keep it down? We're not supposed to be here. 
Rodney: Do you know what these are? These are Bigweld's original invention designs. That's his own writing. 
Cappy:This is strange. How come it just stops in the middle? 
Rodney:Look at this. Remember, he used to have these on his show? 
Cappy:Rodney, I don't know how to tell you this, but...
Rodney: Why are they so dusty?
Cappy: Wait, don't. 
Rodney:This is much more elaborate than the ones on his show.
Cappy: Rodney!! what do we do?! 
Rodney: I don't know! This is kind of a first for me! It's him! 
Bigweld:Who's the king of the beach?! 
Cappy:Are you all right? 
Bigweld:Well, considering I'm an old fat guy who just crashed to the floor... ...I'm fantastic. Now, who the heck are you?
Rodney: I'm Rodney.
Bigweld: Oh, I thought you were the dominoes delivery boy. Come on, let's set them up again, only bigger. 
Rodney:Sir, is this what you've been working on? This is why no one sees you? 
Bigweld:Young man, nobody likes a chatterbox. 
Rodney:But there's a terrible crisis, Mr. Bigweld. We need to talk.
Bigweld: Son, I've gotta tell you, you're making a lousy first impression.
Cappy: Please, sir, he is your biggest fan. In fact, he's an inventor just like you. 
Rodney: Well... 
Cappy: Show him that thing you made. 
Bigweld:A device? A doohickey? A thingamajig? 
Rdoney:Now, don't be scared. Show Mr. Bigweld what you can do. Go on. It's okay. 
Bigweld:Is that what it's supposed to do?
Rodney: It gets nervous under pressure... 
Bigweld:Son, let me give you a good piece of advice. 
Rodney: Yes? 
Bigweld:Give up. 
Rodney:What? You're telling me to quit? 
Bigweld:I said "give up," but "quit" works just as good. 
Rodney:Is that what you did? Is that why you're sitting here...letting Ratchet turn robots like my father into outmodes? 
Bigweld:Kid, sometimes you just gotta know when you're licked. 
Rodney:But you're Bigweld. You can fix anything. 
Bigweld:I used to think so. To me, having the company was all about making life better. With Ratchet, it was making money that came first. I became old-fashioned, an outmode. Go home, kid. If he beat me, he's gonna beat you.
Rodney:But..
Bigweld: The world you're looking for no longer exists. You missed it. Find some other foolish dream. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm very, very....very busy.
Rodney: Yeah, I can see that. All I ever wanted was to grow up to be like him. 
Fender:Help. Open the door. Open the door. Close the door. Close the door! Wow, look at all these parts. It's a smorgasbord. Look at that. So many things I've wanted all my life. Oh, that's pretty. 
Rachet:Okay, Mother, this way. Let me look, please. I can't bear it. No peeking, now. It's a surprise. 
Gasket:Oh, you are a wicked boy. And look. - For me?
  
Ratchet:It's got a full tank of gas. If you're ready to mow, she's ready to go. 
Gasket:Has any mother ever had a better son? 
Ratchet: By the way, I found out who's been fixing those outmodes. So tomorrow, these babies..are gonna chop him up along with all his buddies...and every other walking pile of junk I'm sick of looking at.
Fender: What's that? This is so wrong. This is so wrong. Help. Help! 
Rodney:Rivet Town, please. One-way. Hi, Mom. Oh, I'm doing fine. How are you? And Dad? -
Lydia:He's right here. I'll put him on. 
Herb:Hey, buddy, how's it going? 
Rodney:Hey, Dad. How are you feeling? 
Herb:Oh, fine, fine. I... I've just been a little under the weather. No, we're just having a little trouble... ...finding your old man a replacement part, that's all. But let's talk about you. What kind of work are you doing? What's Bigweld like? Did you meet him? 
Rodney:Yeah, I met him, but..
Herb: What's wrong, son?
Rodney: It's not how we thought it was, Dad. It's not... I can't... I see. I'm really sorry I let you down. 
Herb: No, no, no. You could never let me down, Rodney. Listen, I know it isn't easy, Rodney but a dream that you don't fight for...can haunt you for the rest of your life.
Rodney: Yeah, Dad.
Herb: It's up to you, son. 
Phone bot:Your father loves you very much. 
Rodney: I know. 
Phone bot:With our Friends and Family plan, you can talk to him 500 minutes a month. Free nights and weekends. 
Aunt Fanny:Yoo-hoo, Rodney! Wait. Your suitcase. 
Rodney: Thanks, Aunt Fanny, but I'm...
Aunt Fanny: The others wanted to come and see you off too. 
Rodney:Well, why didn't they? 
Aunt Fanny:Oh, they did. 
Crank:Next time, let's split a cab.
Piper: Who the heck is she?
Aunt Fanny: I used to have a figure like that. 
Fender:Hurry, come on. One ticket to anywhere.
Lugnut:Fender? 
Pipet:I have a sister. An ugly sister. 
Fender:Hey, guess what. It's the sweepers. They're rounding up outmodes and taking them... What "them"? Us. - to Madame Gasket's chop shop. And guess who's really behind it all. 
Rodney: Ratchet. 
Fender:You don't wanna guess? I ran all this way in heels. - Come on, take a stab. 
Rodney:- Ratchet.
Fender: Ratchet! Listen to me. Listen to me. We won't last a week. 
Crank: Okay, okay. Settle down. I got a plan. Let's all get on that train. 
Rodney:Hey, wait a minute. You're all giving up? 
Crank:You started it. -
Rodney: Well, I'm ending it. My mistake was hoping that Bigweld would fight our battles. Well, he won't. It's up to us. If we don't do something about Ratchet, no one will. Come on, let's fight back. 
Aunt Fanny:Fighting never solved anything.
Bigweld: Quitting isn't so productive either. I gotta tell you. It's the big boy.
Aunt Fanny: Oh, be still, my pump. 
Bigweld:Kid, if you're gonna fight, I'm going in with you. 
Rodney:You... You are? 
Bigweld:Hey, who's the dame with the sweet keister? 
Rodney: But why? 
Bigweld: I don't know. I'm a big guy, and I like women with large...
Rodney: No, no, no. Why are you gonna help us? 
Bigweld:Because I wanna grow up to be like you. 
Rodney:Then let's do it.
Bigweld: Come on, gang. Let's give that Ratchet an old-school fix-it! 
Aunt Fanny:Oh, what a man
Crankc:. Someone get a crane.
Rachet: Mother, I'm an adult, okay? So stop telling me how to kill Bigweld. I'm doing it today....how I want, where I want and with whatever I want. 
Bigweld:Okay, boardroom, 10 minutes. I want you both there. 
Lugnut:Mr. Bigweld, should we come too? 
Bigweld:No, no. You stay here....and watch Daddy's limo. 
Lugnut: Yes, sir.
Bugweld: I'm going inside to kick some booty. Hey, you know, your boyfriend here is a genius. 
Rodney: What? 
Cappy: Oh, he's not my... He is? 
Rodney:;I am? 
Bigweld:Thanks for still believing in me. It's good to be home. Toodley-oodley!
Lottera:I use the Brazilian wax. It makes me feel like every day's a fiesta. 
Bigweld:Tell Mr. Ratchet his 10:00 is here. I'm all over it. 
Loretta:Yes, sir.
Bots:Mr. Bigweld, sir. Mr. Bigweld, sir. Oh, Mr. Bigweld.
Ratchet: No, no. Tell him I'm not here. Tell him anything, just don't let him in. -
Bigweld:Ratchet! I'll cut to the point. 
Ratchet: What happened? Run out of dominoes? I'll send you more. 
Bigweld: You're fired! 
Rachet:Fired? On what grounds? This company's never been more profitable.
BigwelD: Profit, schmofit. Now, get out. 
Ratchet:No, wait, please listen to me. You can't do this to me. This job is my life. It means everything to me. You don't know what I've done to get here. The lies I've told. The lives I've ruined. This isn't helping me. 
Bigweld: Get me security. -
Ratchet:Wait, please. Can't I just make one more heartfelt plea?
Bigweld: Okay, what did you wanna say?
Ratchet: That! Oh, my gosh. I'm as crazy as my mother. Take that fish to the chop shop and put my name on his parking space.
Rodney: Let go of him!
Ratchet: (chuckling) Sure. Listen, kid, it's over. You lost. Bigweld is gonna be melted down into next season's upgrades along with you, your moronic coffeepot and Cappy. Such a waste. 
Rodney:Mr. Bigweld, are you okay? 
Bigweld:I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball.
Rodney: I'll take that as a "no." Out of the way! 
Cappy:Rodney.
Bots: Road trip! Road trip! Road trip! 
Piper:You guys are so embarrassing. Oh, that's Rodney. He's in some kind of trouble.
Rodney: I've gotta repair him. 
Piper:Okay, I got your back. Come on, we've gotta help Rodney.
Fender: No, Piper, you stay here. 
Piper: No way.
Fender: Let's be honest. We're headed for a huge butt-whupping. Whatever happens to us, make something of yourself. You're the only thing I've got to leave behind. Goodbye! 
Aunt Fanny:He's right, Piper. They're headed for a huge butt-whupping.
Rodney:Okay, got it! 
Bgiweld:Rodney, what's going on? Where are we? 
Rodney:It's okay. You're all right.
Fender:Okay, boys, we got them right where they want us. Boost me up. Watch your hands down there. Rodney! We're here to save you! How do you think it's going so far?
Rodney:The plug. Hold on, guys! I gotta get to the other side.
Cappy:We're out of here!
Crank:The chop shop. That's it. Game over. 
Rodney:The game is not over. This is our moment to shine. This is where you show what you're really made of. 
Fender:In my case, it's a rare metal. It's called "afraidium." It's yellow. It tastes like chicken. I didn't know I could do that. 
Crank:Rodney's right. I am tired of just complaining and never doing anything. I... I... I wanna try. No. Forget it. I'm sorry. No. Yes! I want to try. 
Rodney:Then you're first.
Lugnut: First for what? 
Rodney:They want us to upgrade? Then let's upgrade.
Bigwell:Gasket, you're a sick, twisted, evil robot. 
Gasket:I try. Oh, good. Company. So you're the little glob of tin who's been making all the trouble. Who are these losers? 
Fender:We, sir... 
Gasket: I'm a woman.
Fender:We've come to rescue our friend, you evil bag of bolts. And you will be defeated by the very outmodes... ...that you scorned and defaced. 
Crank:Yeah, because there's seven of us and only one of you.
Fender:There's seven of us and... Eight, nine... 
Crank: Did you count that one?
Fender:I think so. Could you all stop moving around?! It's so frustrating! I think I counted one of you twice! 
Gasket:While you're at it, count these. As soon as we're done with you, these hit the streets.
Ratchet: This is the last day any outmode will ever see
Piper: Did I miss the butt-whupping?
All:No. 
Crank: Matter of fact, you're a little bit early. 
Bots:Rodney! Rodney! Rodney
Piper: Well, let's get started
Fender: Testify, sister!
Rodney:Charge! 
Pipet: Charge!
Announcer:Oh, no! He's got a steel chair. But he's back up into a neck-breaker. He's up to the top rope. Look at the hang time! That's sure gonna leave a dent.
Aunt Fanny:Say hello to my dimpled friend. 
Ratchet:This is gonna get greasy!
Bigweld:Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 
Rodney:I sure am. See a need, fill a need!
Bigweld: This isn't what I was thinking at all!
Madame Gasket: What are you doing?! Get off me! Let me go! Do as I say, Get off!
Ratchet: Ma! My upgrades!
Mr. Gasket: It's all right, son. You can shine no matter what you...
Ratchet:No! Just stop!
Bigweld:Come on, Rodney. Let's open the gates of Bigweld Industries forever. 
Rodney:Wait a minute. There's one thing I need to do first. 
Lydia:Herb! Herb! 
Herb:Honey, what are you doing here?
Lydia: It's Rodney, honey. 
Herb: Rodney? Is he all right? 
Lydia:Come outside. Hurry. 
Mr. Gunk:Copperbottom, where are you going? What about the dishes? Hey, get back here! You'll never wash in this town again.
Herb: What is all this? The whole town is out here. Rodney? 
Rodney:Dad! There's someone I want you to meet. 
Herb:Is that...? 
Rodney:That's Bigweld, Dad...the greatest robot in the world. Besides you. 
Bigweld: I understand you need a few parts. 
Herb:Well, I'm not one to complain. 
Bigweld:Well, then don't. I've brought enough parts to make two of you. Ladies and gentlebots....I came all this way... Would you cut that out? It's very distracting. 
Mic bot:Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. 
Bigweld:Where was I? Mr. and Mrs. Copperbottom, I came all this way....to tell you in person that your son, Rodney....the man who got me off my big titanium tochis....is now my right-hand bot and my eventual successor. 
Bots:Way to go, Rodney! 
Rodney:Oh, Mom. 
Herb:Son. 
Rodney:Dad, I know you kind of felt bad when I was growing up....that you couldn't give me a lot of stuff. But you gave me the most important thing: You believed in me. 
Herb:From the second you were born.
Rodney: Well, Dad, now I want your dream to come true. Dad, you always wanted to be a musician. Now be one, for everyone to hear. 
Hydrant: Good for you, Herb! You did good! -
Bots: Good job! Way to go.
Tin Man: Now I'm sure I've got a heart, because it's aching. 
Herb: You'll have to forgive me. I'm a little rusty.
Crank: Well, there goes our happy ending. 
Fender: No. It's a fusion of jazz and funk. It's called "junk."
Lydia: I love you, Herb!
Loretta: Fender!
Fender: Loretta, my darling. Sorry.
Tim: I was on the list! Don't you know who I am? Wait!
Category:Transcripts