The TV Thief

The TV Thief is a Mr. Rrarrg! episode. In this episode, the gang find out who stole their tv.
=== Characters ===
• Patrick
• Babba
• Rrarrg
• Grr
• Cashier (debut)
• Fish
• Mustache Snail (debut)
• Hallucination CrazySponge (debut)
• Narrator
• Hallucination House (debut)
== Transcript ==
(The episode starts with Patrick picking his nose)
Patrick: Ahh… ahhh…
Rrarrg: rrarararg (I thought I was disgusting, but this is ridiculous)
(Patrick screams)
Patrick: AHH! When did you get here?
Rrarrg: rrrarararg (I’ve been watching the TV this entire time)
Patrick: …oh.
(Pause.)
Patrick: By the way, where is the TV?
Rrarrg: rrarrararg? (What? It was just here a minute ago)
(Shot of where the TV is supposed to be without the TV)
Patrick: I think someone stole our TV!
Grr: grrrgrgrgr (The TV was stolen? How else am I gonna watch The Patrick Star Show?)
Patrick: I have a show?
Grr: grgrgrgrr (yes)
Patrick: huh. Neat. Anyway, we need to find our TV before it’s too late! I want to watch Gardening With CrazySponge tonight!
Babba: baababbabba (isn’t that the guy we hate?)
Patrick: Yeah but I love seeing him hurt himself every episode, it’s fun.
Babba: bababababa (ok then let's go)
(cut to the four of them walking outside in the cold)
Patrick: Brr, when did it get so cold?
Rrarrg: rrarararg (it’s the middle of January)
Grr: grrgrgrgr (let me help)
(Grr grabs Patrick and shoves him inside his belly button)
Patrick: Whoa cool. And gross. Anyway, onwards!
Narrator: 50½ minutes of walking later
Patrick: Good Neptune, that was a lot of walking…
Grr: grrrgrgrgr (Do we even know where we’re going?)
Patrick: Nope! Now, if I were a TV, where would I hide…?
Grr: grrgrgrgr (TVs don’t hide, Patrick)
Patrick: Oh, right. Well I’m all out of ideas.
Rrarrg: rrarararg (We don’t even know if our TV was stolen, we’re just jumping to conclusions.)
Patrick: (laughs) Oh, Rrarrg, you’re so naive! Of course it was stolen - what? Do you think our TV just magically disappeared?
(suddenly they hear a small chuckle)
Patrick: what was that? Who's there? Wait where are we anyway?
(the gang turns around and sees a sign that is an ad for barnacle chips)
Patrick: oops wrong turn
(the gang turns around to the other side and see a sign that says "Anchovy Avenue")
Patrick: We must've passed the sign that said the city name. Well at least we know what street we're in.
(the person who did the chuckle runs away)
Patrick: Hey, they're running away!
(the gang chases the person)
Person: you'll never get me alive!
Patrick: oh yes we will!
(the person gets away in a taxi and drives off)
Patrick: Oh barnacles. We lost him.
Grr: grgrgrgrgr (what now?)
Patrick: Hmm, maybe he wasn't the guy who stole it. Eh, we could probably live without a tv for a while right guys?
Rrarrg: rrarrg (yeah)
Patrick: Alright, let's go home.
Narrator: one trip home and 3 weeks later…
(shot of the gang on the couch looking tired)
Patrick: Ok, I think I was wrong about being able to survive without a TV 3 weeks ago.
Grr: gr (yeah)
Babba: bababababa (we need to find that damned tv)
Patrick: i think i'm even starting to hallucinate
(shot of where the tv is supposed to be but isnt, a CrazySponge looking figure fades in front of it)
Patrick: huh? CrazySponge? What are you doing here?
CrazySponge: HOOPLA
(the CrazySponge hallucination gets crushed by a house hallucination)
Patrick: Hehe. That's pretty funny.
(the CrazySponge figure appears again)
Patrick: what?
(CrazySponge gets shot by a gun)
Patrick: Haha. He died.
(shot of the monsters looking at patrick with patrick looking stoned)
Babba: babababa (you ok there buddy?)
Patrick: huh? oh hi guys since when did you get here.
(grr slaps patrick)
Grr: grgrgrgggrrgr! grgrggrgr! (get a hold of yourself man! We need to find the tv!)
Patrick: yeah good idea. Back to the city!
Narrator: 1 hour of walking later.
Patrick: Alright we're here again. Now where could the tv go?
(they turn around to a pub that says "the smoking clam”)
Patrick: hey a pub!
(they enter the pub and we have a look around the pub)
(cut to a couple of fish sitting at a table)
Fish 1: You ever accidentally masturbate to old pictures of your mom?
Fish 2: who the fuck starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!
Patrick: This pub is looking really wild. I wouldn't be surprised if the guy who stole it was drunk.
Grr: grgrgrgrrgr (thank goodness this isn't Bikini Bottom. Because then we would be noticed straight away.)
Patrick: yeah…
(The group walks over the couple of fish at the table)
Patrick: Hey… just curious here, but you haven’t seen anyone carrying a stolen TV or anything?
Fish 2: Holy crap! Your TV got stolen? Aw jeez… this is worse than the time The Life and Times of Mr. Rrarrg did a Family Guy!
(cut to a couple of fish sitting at a table)
Fish 1: You ever accidentally masturbate to old pictures of your mom?
Fish 2: who the fuck starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!
(Cut back. Pause.)
Patrick: What was that?
Fish 1: Cutaway gags. We do them all the time around here.
Grr: grgrgr (Huh.)
Patrick: So… have you seen our TV?
Fish 2: Nah, sorry fellas. This pub has a nice TV though if you ever wanna come back and watch Football or anything.
Patrick: Meh, I’m not really a sports guy. Thanks anyway though!
(The group walk out of the pub.)
Patrick: Well those guys seemed nice.
Babba: bababa (Shame we’re kinda just wasting our time though.)
Patrick: Yeah… our TV can’t have gone that far though! We just need to keep looking!
Grr: gr! (Yeah!)
Narrator: one hour of getting shitfaced later.
Patrick: Ok i think we- we… we gotta.
(patrick falls on the ground)
Grr: Gr (Oh)
Narrator: One nap later.
Patrick: Ok let's maybe go around town and ask if anyone saw a guy with a tv.
(transition to next scene)
Patrick: Hello sir have you seen anyone with a tv around here? The tv is brown, small and brown.
Fish: No I haven't seen anyone with a tv.
Patrick: darn.
Fish: Well not recently at least.
Patrick: go on.
Fish: I used to have one, until it gave out.
Patrick: oh. I see. My condolences. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Fish: It’s… it’s okay. I’m just about getting over it now.
Grr: grgrggrgr (i guess let's go ask someone else)
(transition to next scene)
Patrick: Hi, excuse me fine sir but I am looking for a missing friend of mine.
Fish: Aw, what do they look like?
Patrick: Well… he’s small and honestly I would say he’s the funniest guy I know… also he’s a TV.
Fish: A TV? Well… I did see this mysterious shadowy figure with a TV coming by about thirteen minutes ago.
Patrick: Yeah? And?
Fish: They had a uh, a hat! and Long eyes.
Patrick: okay
Fish: and I think they went to the back alleys of the city. They're next to the Ragfish's Pizza down the street.
Patrick: Was the TV small and brown?
Fish: Ehhhh… I’d say it was more of a tan but sure.
Patrick: okay thanks
Fish: you're welcome
(transition to next scene; they are near the restaurant)
Patrick: Alright I guess this is the place.
Grr: grgrgrgrgr (but where's the back alleyway?)
Patrick: hm… let's go inside, maybe someone will help us.
Babba: bababababa (you're gonna have to go in yourself. We're too big)
Patrick: Alright then.
(patrick enters the restaurant and walks to the counter)
Patrick: um hi
Cashier: oh hi there. How may I help you?
Patrick: yeah um, do you know where the alleyways are?
Cashier: oh they're to the left. Why do you ask?
Patrick: It's just my TV has been stolen and someone told me it's in the back alleyways.
Cashier: ah alright then. 
Patrick: by the way did you see anyone come into the alleyways recently?
Cashier: Well no. I usually just take a quick trip to take out the trash before I go home.
Patrick: alright, thanks
Cashier: you're welcome
(patrick exits the store)
Grr: gr? (so?)
Patrick: it's to the left
(cut to them in the back alleyways of the city)
Patrick: alright there might be some kind of door here…
Rrarrg: rarrararag! (found it!)
(cut to inside of the person who stole the TV's place)
???: how do you plug in this thing?
(rrarrg breaks down the door)
Patrick: Stop right there thief!
???: ah it seems like you finally found me.
Grr: grgrgrgrg! (we know you stole our tv!)
???: Yes, I did. And I'm not giving it back!
Patrick: Who are you and why did you steal our tv?!
???: why, i am none other than…
(??? reveals himself to be mustache snail)
Mustache Snail: MUSTACHE SNAIL!
(grr gasps in shock)
Patrick: …….who?
Mustache Snail: I was the pet of CrazySponge. BEFORE YOU PUT HIM IN JAIL! And now that I have stolen your tv, I can finally take revenge on him!
(Pause)
Patrick: You stole our TV to take revenge on CrazySponge?
Mustache Snail: Yes.
(Pause)
Patrick: how can you take revenge on your owner with a tv?
Mustache Snail: Well, you see…
(mustache snail brings in a whiteboard with his plan)
Mustache Snail: ..by obtaining these objects, i can build a super mech and take over the world! AND DESTROY YOUR CAVE AS WELL! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(Pause.)
Grr: grgrgrgrgrgr (Well that’s kinda excessive.)
Patrick: Yeah, and it’s kinda excessive too.
Mustache Snail: well… well.. I don’t care about what you think about my plan! I am going to get my revenge, and nothing you can do will stop me-
(babba bonks mustache snail on the head and grabs the tv)
Mustache Snail: ow that hurt
Babba: bababa (shut up)
Mustache Snail: Hey, what are you doing?!
Patrick: we're getting our tv back.
Mustache Snail: no! You can't do this!
Grr: grgrgrgr (yes we can.)
Patrick: RUN!!
(The group run off)
Mustache Snail: Hahahaha! You may have outsmarted me, but there’s no way you can outrun me!
(Mustache Snail tries to catch up to them, but is too slow)
Mustache Snail: …oh, that’s right. I am a snail.
(Pause)
Mustache Snail: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(transition to next scene)
Patrick: Good thing we got our tv back.
Rrarrg: rrrararg (yeah)
Babba: babab (i really missed the old thing…)
Patrick: Me too. Now let’s watch some good ol’ live television!
Grr: grrrgr! (yeah!)
(cut to the tv, showing CrazySponge being crushed by a house)
(they all laugh and the episode ends)
== Trivia ==
• This is the first episode to be written by PolarTem since Back in Bikini Bottom.
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