The Bunker Sitter/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "The Bunker Sitter".
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(Branch and Biggie are at a party with Synth and the Techno Trolls. He seen on a rock with a leaf as a diving board. Biggie is relaxing on a floatie.)
Branch: CANNONBALL!!!  (He jumps off the leaf. Just as he is about to land in the water, his watch chimes and he uses his hair to grab two rocks.) Ooh, gotta take care of the bunker. (He launches himself back on the rock he jumped off and leaves.)
All: Aw! (Branch is now at Country Corral riding a fake Adorabull.)
Branch: Woo-hoo-hoo!
Holly: Woo-hoo! Y’all, he’ll set the new record in 3, 2… (Branch’s watch chimes again.)
Branch: Ooh, gotta take care of the bunker. (He jumps off the fake Adorabull and leaves.)
All: Aw! (At Rock Hollow, Val is getting ready for a stage dive.)
Val: Who’s ready for a stage dive?!
Branch: Over here! Over here, Val! (His watch chimes once more.) Huh? Oh! Bunker! (He leaves the show and Val lands on the ground with a faceplant.)
Val: Oh!
All: Aw! 
Val: Ugh. (Meanwhile, Branch runs while carrying invitations. Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth jump out from a bush.)
All: Branch! 
Branch: Hello… four people speaking in unison.
Poppy: For the sweet love of hugs, Branch! You have been cutting short fun to go to work on your bunker for weeks!
Branch: Ugh. I know. Maintaining my bunker and being a Troll has always been tricky to juggle, but with all the new Tribes, it’s way harder. I mean, I’ve gotten three party invitations just while I’ve been standing here!
Country Troll #1: Make that four, partner. (He throws another invitation to Branch.) All right, friendship.
Branch: See?!
Poppy: Well, hey, if you need a hand, you can always ask one of us for help!
Branch: (In a pile of invitations) Let someone else take care of the bunker? (A male Classical Troll gives another invitation to him.) I don’t know…
Poppy: Please, Branch? I mean, we know how strong your feelings are for that bunker, so I get that you’re a little scared to trust it to someone else’s care, but-
Branch: What? (He moves several invitations out of his way.) I’m not scared, Poppy. The bunker is just very difficult to maintain, and I don’t know how I’d find a Troll who could… Ooh, that’s it! Meet me at my bunker tomorrow. (He gets out of the pile of invitations.) No time for clarity! (The next day, Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth are going down the elevator that leads to Branch’s bunker.)
Poppy: I wonder what Branch is up to this time… (The elevator lands.)
Branch: Welcome, candidates! (He turns around in a chair.) Over the next few hours, you will be participating in a series of test to assess your fitness as the official… Bunker Nanny.
Holly: “Bunker Nanny”? Goodness, Branch, don’t ya ever get tired of bein’ so dang cute?
Synth: Yeah. Save some adorable for the rest of us, yo.
Branch: Now, bunker life can be a lot of fun. It’s quiet, there’s dirt, but none of that can happen without proper bunker maintenance. Like underground reinforcement… (He pulls a switch and a screwdriver makes a hole in the wall. Another tool makes a door and places it on the wall.)
Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth: Oh! 
Branch: Tunnel tidying… (He pulls the switch again and a vacuum sucks up some rocks.)
Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth: Ah!
Branch: And I can’t stress how important it is. Every six hours and 23 minutes, you must… (The camera zooms out to reveal that they are at a water pipe.) … jiggle the handle.
Biggie: Why? What happens if you don’t jiggle the- (The water pipes start shaking, making him, Poppy, Holly, and Synth panic. Luckily, Branch jiggles the handle at the shaking stops.)
Branch: OK! Over here you’ll notice the sweat jars are arranged alpha-sweatically. (giggles) Fun. (Outside, he gives the first test to his friends.) Bunker Nanny test number 1: Security. The primary function of a bunker is to keep things out. Don’t even think about it! (He presses a button on a remote to stop a spider from coming in his bunker. It grunts and leaves.) So! Let’s test to see whom you decide to let in. Biggie.
Synth: Meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh!
Poppy: Whoo! Way to go, Biggie! You got this! (Branch gives Biggie the remote. A fake Troll dressed up as a robber appears. Biggie presses the wrong button and it goes inside Branch’s bunker.)
Branch: Biggie! Why did you let that Troll in?! He’s dressed like a robber!
Biggie: Well, I assumed he was attending the big costume party.
Branch: Who said there was a costume party?!
Biggie: (chuckles) Oh, Branch, we’re Trolls. (He changes into a pirate costume. The rest of his friends are wearing costumes.) There’s always a costume party.
Poppy and Holly: Yeah!
Branch: (Doing a facepalm) Ugh. Someone else please go. (Synth is next. He accidentally lets a fake Growl Beast into Branch’s bunker.) Synth! You just let a growl beast into my bunker!
Synth: Correction, bro! I let a Troll dressed like a Growl Beast into the costume party!
Branch: Grr! There is no-! Just… Poppy, you go.
Fake Branch: Hello! (Poppy closes the door.)
Branch: Wha-?! Poppy, that’s me!
Poppy: Yeah, and you’re not wearing a costume. (She touches Branch’s nose with the remote.)
Synth: Yeah, I agree.
Holly: Yeah!
Biggie: Mm-hm!
Branch: Gah! (Back inside, he shows a room to his friends.) Bunker Nanny test number 2: Isolation Chamber. Let’s see how you handle the long stretches of time alone down here in the bunker…
Biggie: (Giving Mr. Dinkles to Poppy) Pfft! This’ll be a piece of cupca- (He screams, runs back to his friends, and cries.) No, I can’t! I miss you all too much!
Poppy: Aw, Biggie…
Synth: It’s OK.
Holly: Baby… (Branch grunts with annoyance. Soon, he is checking his watch and Holly gets out of the empty room. Her hair is a mess.) That’s it! I gave it everythin’ I had! Time!
Branch: Seven seconds.
Holly: Well, hot dang! (Poppy, Biggie, and Synth cheer for her. After a while, Branch is checking to see how long Poppy has been in the empty room.)
Branch: Wow! Poppy’s been in there over three hours. I mean, I’m not impressed easily, but this is… (He opens the door and sees Poppy having a party.)
Poppy: Whoooo! Isolation party!
Branch: Poppy?! How did you even-
Poppy: Oh, you’re just in time! We’re about to cut the isolation cake! (She takes a cake out of her hair and gets ready to cut it. Holly, Biggie, and Synth gasp in amazement while Branch screams in anger.) Branch? Are you OK?
Branch: No, I’m not. Look, I know you guys wanna help, but you haven’t passed a single test. And without a Bunker Nanny… I’ll have to spend a lot less time in TrollsTopia. (He leaves.)
Poppy: Guys, we have to pull through for Branch. So, what do you say we really focus and show him what we’re capable of? (She, Holly, Biggie, and Synth start singing Give It Our All as they do the tests.)
(Synth)
There’s nothing you can’t do
If you put your mind to it, to it
(Holly)
Doesn’t matter if you planned to
If you believe you can do it, do it
(Poppy)
Just work like you want it
Already on it
Never let up or for a moment
(Synth)
All sweating together
Tryna be better
(Poppy and Holly)
Better
(Synth)
Better
(Poppy and Holly)
Better
(Biggie)
Lemme see you work
Lemme see you struggle
When you come in first 
It was worth all the trouble
Show me what you’re worth
Lemme see you prove it
Do it
(Poppy)
Gonna give it our all
Gonna give it our all 
We won’t quit, no, we’re given it
Our all, gonna give our all
Pass the test 
Prove that we’re the best
(Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth)
If we don’t ever stop
We will rise to the top 
Gonna give it our all
(Poppy)
Bunker down, nose to the ground
Gonna give it our all
Branch: And… you’ve all failed! 
Poppy and Synth: What?!
Holly: Failed? Then what was all that smilin’ and noddin’?
Branch: Well, that was because you were improving… but ultimately, yeah, still failed.
Synth: Dubstep, you said I got 100% on dirt maintenance!
Branch: Well, to pass, you need 149%. 
Synth: But that’s not how math works, yo!
Poppy: Branch, isn’t there a tiny chance your standards are too high? And isn’t there also a tiny chance it’s because, deep down… you don’t want anyone to pass your test?
Branch: (chuckles) Sorry, you lost me. Why would I make a test that no-one can pass?
Holly: ‘Cause you’re scared to trust someone else with your bunker, sugar.
Poppy: Mm-hm.
Synth: Yeah, Dubstep. Like Poppy said… we know you got mad feelings for this place, aight?
Biggie: Yes.
Poppy and Holly: Mm-hm.
Biggie: Mad feelings.
Branch: What? Pfft. No, that’s… that’s absurd. Of course the test can be passed. In fact, I’ll prove it. (He takes out Gary.) Activate “The Final Exam.” (He presses a button.)
Branch’s Voice: Final Exam engaged. Total bunker failure in 90 seconds. (An alarm sounds and Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth scream.)
Branch: Oh… “Total bunker failure”, eh? (He gets some coffee ready.) Oof, that sounds horrific.
Poppy: Branch, what are you waiting for?!
Branch: Shh, shh, shh! (He takes a sip of his coffee.) Go. (She zooms past Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth.)
Poppy, Holly, and Biggie: Huh? (Branch moves some wheels on the pipes like he is doing gymnastics. He lands on a catapult and presses a button, causing it to send him flying.) 
Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth: Whoa! (Branch flies up to a machine on the wall and switches the ropes on it.)
Branch’s Voice: Well done, Branch. You are scoring 1,000%.
Branch: (giggles) Thanks, bunker.
Synth: But that’s not how math works, yo! (Branch falls back towards the ground and through floor switches. (He then lands on a chair with a desk and calculates his results.)
Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth: Ooh! (Branch turns around in his chair.)
Branch: See? Passed with flying colors. (He takes another sip of his coffee.) Ah. Now, I believe I deserve an apology. (The alarm sounds out again.)
Branch’s Voice: Total bunker failure imminent…
Branch: Wait, what?! (The water pipes start to shake.) Oh, no! I… forgot to jiggle the handle! (The water pipe breaks and water rages into the bunker. Poppy, Branch, Holly, and Biggie scream in horror. Luckily, Synth controls it.)
Synth: Just a reminder: I’ve got water powers. Also, a heads up: I can’t hold it back much longer!
Biggie: Branch, what do we do?!
Branch: I-I-I don’t know!
Holly: I’ll tell what we do: we get busy nannyin’! (Mr. Dinkles pulls a lever and the screwdriver drills a hole.)
Synth: Ha! (He makes the water go into the hole. Holly presses another button and some mechanical arms put a top over the water hole. The vacuum then cleans it. Poppy jiggles the water pipe.)
Branch: You… you guys… thank you. You saved the bunker.
Poppy: No problem, Branch. We’re here to help.
Branch: Yeah… I know you are, but… I think wasn’t letting you ‘cause you were right. I am scared to let someone else take care of my bunker. I’m sorry.
Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth: Aw!
Branch: But now I see I shouldn’t have been looking for someone to care for my bunker. I should have been looking for someones. (Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth gasp.)
Biggie: Wait, Branch. Do you mean…
Branch: Yes, it’s so obvious! With all four of you, working together as a team of Bunker Nannies… I’d never need to worry about the bunker ever again! (Poppy, Holly, Biggie, and Synth cheer and hug Branch.)
Holly: Wait… Are you sayin’ it takes four of us to replace one of you?
Branch: Oh. I… uh…
Category:TT Season 4 episode transcripts
Category:Trolls: TrollsTopia transcripts
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