Bart the Genius/Quotes

:Martin Prince: Bart, I hope you won't bear some simple minded grudge against me. I was merely trying to fend off the desecration of the school building.
:Bart: Eat my shorts!
:Martin: Pardon?
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:(The family is playing Scrabble)
:Bart: My turn. "Kwyjibo". (places his tiles) K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. Twenty-two points, plus triple-word-score, plus fifty points for using all my letters. Game's over, I'm out of here-
:Homer: (grabs Bart with his left hand, holding a banana in his right) Wait a minute, you little cheater! You're not going anywhere until you tell me what a kwyjibo is.
:Bart: Kwyjibo. (observing Homer) Uh... a big, dumb, balding North American ape. With no chin.
:Marge: (playing along) And a short temper.
:Homer: I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape!
:Bart: (as Homer chases him away) Uh-oh. Kwyjibo on the loose!
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:Mrs. Krabappel: Now I don't want you to worry, class. These tests will have no effect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success (looks directly at Bart)... if any.
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:Principal Skinner: Whoever did this is in very deep trouble!
:Martin: And a sloppy speller, too. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is "W-I-E-N-E-R", although "E-I" is an acceptable ethnic variant.
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:Homer: Doc, this is all too much. I mean, my son, a genius - how does it happen?
:Dr. Pryor: Well, genius-level intelligence is usually the result of heredity and environment... (sees Homer staring blankly)... although in some cases it is a total mystery.
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:Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you - why don't you eat something a little more nutritious?
:Homer: Nonsense, Marge! Frosted Krusty Flakes is what got him here today. It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Lisa, maybe you should try some of this.
:Marge: (nagging tone) Homer!
:Homer: I'm just saying, why not have two geniuses in the family? Sort of a spare in case Bart's brain explodes.
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:Bart's first day at the gifted school. Homer sees it has a dress code.
:Homer: Oh, they required ties. No problem, boy, here is mine.
:Homer removes tie
:Homer: Now to wear a tie, you just attach the clip, like so!
:Bart: Thanks, Dad.
:Homer: Now pay attention, because you may learn great things. In fact, you might do what we Simpson men have dreamed of for generations. You may outsmart somebody.
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:Homer: Jeez. No beer, no opera dogs...
:Bart: It ain't over until the fat lady sings.
:Homer: Is that one fat enough for you, son?
:[Bart and Homer laugh to Marge's annoyance, as well as the other audience members]
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:Homer: I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
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:Homer: WHY YOU LITTLE!
:Bart: Uh-oh. (Homer tries to grab Bart but lands in bucket) (being chased) Ahhhhhhhhhh!
:Marge: What's going on there? (Homer grunts)
:Lisa: I think Bart's stupid again, Mom.
:Marge: Oh well...
:Bart: Ahhhhhhh! (runs into his room)
:Homer: YOU CAN'T STAY IN THERE FOREVER!
:Bart: I can try! (locks his bedroom door)
:Homer: MARCH YOUR BUTT RIGHT OUT OF HERE, NOW!
:Bart: No way, man!
:Homer: BART! (pause) Son, if you don't come out, I can’t hug you and kiss you and make you feel all better.
:[Bart is drinking a soda and reading a comic book.]
:Bart: You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that, I'm insulted!
:Homer: D'oh! [gets angry and pounds on the door once again. We cut to the Simpsons' house where we can hear Homer continuing to bang on the door.]
es:Bart the Genius/Frases