One Minute Brawl 84:Wahlruss VS !Xav

Welcome to a 1 MINUTE BRAWL!
Today we have...
Wahlruss, the President of KFC!
and !Xav, the Virus of the Multiverse!
These 2 have never met before in ANY way, shape, or form!
Making this their first(and last) encounter!
Can Wahlruss's crazy powers defeat !Xav?
Or will !Xav pull off a stunning victory?
LETS FIND OUT!
== The Fight ==
Location:KFC Restaurant Time:7:00 PM
!Xav snuck into KFC, tired from his day of causing mischief. He ordered a bucket of chicken and waited for it. Wahlruss came out of the kitchen with the bucket. But when he presented it to !Xav, !Xav took the bucket and ran off without paying for it.
Wahlruss took off his chef's hat and ran after him. "Sir, you either must pay for that or you must return it to me right now". !Xav punched Wahlruss and knocked him through a window and outside into the street. Wahlruss got back up and said "Nice to see that you picked option 3". "Which is GET YOUR ASS WHOOPED"! Then !Xav threw the bucket on the ground and got ready to fight!
THIS IS QUITE THE MATCH-UP
ISN'T IT?
Wahlruss kicked !Xav into the air and then he summoned a giant chicken leg that smashed !Xav into the ground before Wahlruss leapt into the air and elbow dropped onto him with so much force, it made a crater bigger than the moon!
Walhruss walked back into his KFC and addressed his next customer with "Sorry for that distraction sir, know I'll take your order". Wahlruss then proceeded to put on a pair of headphones and he walked back into the kitchen to get his hat. Then he heard a noise and came back out of the kitchen to see !Xav brutally murdering his customer. Then !Xav said "You won't be rid of me that easily, fat-ass". Then he blasted Wahlruss into the kitchen and jumped over the counter and walked back into the kitchen.
Wahlruss got back up and said "Sorry sir, but this is an employee-only zone". Then Wahlruss punched !Xav back into the main room of the restaurant and walked after him. Then Wahlruss said "Let's see what you can do to my Anti-Vowel Breath". !Xav got up and looked pissed. Wahlruss used his breath on !Xav, but !Xav used his reality warping to phase through it and wasn't effected! Then !Xav took the moment to punch the confused Wahlruss in the face and sent him flying outside of the store. Then !Xav began to distort reality and he exclaimed "I have grown tired of this fool". "Now I will eradicate him along with his stupid diner"! But then, Wahlruss snapped out and kicked !Xav all the way to the moon and yelled loud enough for him to hear "IT'S A RESTAURANT YOU IGNORANT DUMBASS"! "HOW DARE YOU CALL MY COMPANY A DINER"!?!?!?
!Xav flew back to the store and said "Enough of your insolence". Then he split himself into 2 and both halves began to punch Wahlruss rapidly. Then they upper-cutted Wahlruss into the air and created a blade of negative energy that slashed Wahlruss back down and he created a giant crater that almost blew up the planet. Then the 2 halves merged togather again and !Xav said "Time to finish you off". Then as !Xav went for a finishing slash to the neck, Wahlruss equipped his chicken coating armor and the blade bounced off. Then Wahlruss said "Sir, would you like a job"? Then, before !Xav could say anything, Wahlruss punched him in the face and knocked him into a McDonald's restaurant.
Wahlruss walked in and !Xav stood back up. !Xav hacked into the machines in the room and they began launching grease that Wahlruss's coating sucked up and became very heavy. So heavy in fact, that it broke off of Wahlruss and !Xav managed to punch Wahlruss hard enough to stun him. Then !Xav grabbed Wahlruss and said "You will join me in the negative zone"! Then !Xav took Wahlruss back to his original dimension with him!
There, !Xav punched Wahlruss across the face and then he kicked him into a wall of negative energy. Then !Xav made the wall go around Wahlruss and it began to fly into the air as !Xav said "Compression". Then the negative energy exploded, causing severe damage to Wahlruss. Wahlruss was very hurt, but he still managed to stand. Then he said "The time has come". "I shall use my strongest move". Then as !Xav flew towards Walhruss at high speeds, Wahlruss pulled out his banjo and he started to play. !Xav stopped and stared, not sure what to think. Then he said "How's that supposed to beat me"? "Your stupid backwater guitar can't even effect me"! Then !Xav prepared a punch that was aimed at Wahlruss's chest. But Wahlruss blocked it with his banjo, shattering it. Then Wahlruss looked very pissed as he saw his favorite banjo broken.
Then Wahlruss kicked !Xav back into Mobius. He followed and began ranting with "Sir, you have destroyed my restaurant, scared all of my customers away, have violated me in more than 3 ways, broken my favorite banjo, and you have forced my chicken coating to cease it's existence"! "So I'm afraid that'll I have to ban you from my restaurant". Then !Xav got back up and looked VERY pissed off as he said "Let's see how strong you are compared to THIS"! Then he summoned the fragment of Heroldin's crystal and it began to radiate intense energy. Walhruss then said "Alright then, let's see, how long should your ban be"? Then !Xav used the energy and punched Wahlruss in the face, shattering the entire city they were in. After the dust settled and ruins were everywhere the eye could see, Wahlruss still stood.
Then Wahlruss said "Thank you for your input sir". "Forever it is"! yelled Wahlruss as he punched !Xav in the chest and then kicked the crystal out of his hand. Then Walhruss jumped backwards and prepared his anti-vowel breath. !Xav got up and said "I hold your future right here". Then !Xav summoned the full power of the crystal and it made his hand glow jet black. Then !Xav said "This is my strongest move, you stupid fool". "This is... the CD Punch". Then he prepared to punch Wahlruss.
Wahlruss launched his Anti-Vowel breath. !Xav began to phase as he moved forward with the glowing punch. He phased through the breath before delivering the punch to Wahlruss and knocking one of his tusks off! Then !Xav kicked Wahlruss in the chest and then he kicked him into the air. Then !Xav prepared another punch aimed at Wahlruss as he fell. However, Wahlruss blocked the punch and punched !Xav flying into a car. Wahlruss leapt into the air and prepared another elbow drop. !Xav got up and warped the broken-off tusk to his hands. Then he pointed it into the air as Wahlruss landed directly on it! Then !Xav kicked Wahlruss off the tusk and blasted his head off with a negative laser!
KO!
Reasoning:
Know THIS was a David vs Goliath match!
Wahlruss has powerful attacks, like the Anti-Vowel Breath.
But !Xav had many ways to defend against these attacks.
Being able to manipulate reality in even minor ways allowed !Xav to phase through attacks, which allowed him to avoid the Anti-Vowel breath.
Plus !Xav's most powerful ability, his Negative Energy, allowed him to do what few opponents are capable of.
You see, negative energy works the OPPOSITE of normal energy. While Wahlruss's thick blubber is highly resistant to normal energy, it's the exact opposite for negative energy. Meaning it did HIGH damage to him.
With !Xav being able to hack into devices, it made it that he was able to peel off Wahlruss's chicken coating, his best defense.
So let's see here, !Xav could overcome everything Wahlruss had that could kill him. Wahlruss may be skilled with his banjo, but that wouldn't help him too much in a fight. However, it IS true that the Anti-Vowel breath WOULD kill !Xav.
But like I said, !Xav had a way to avoid the move every time it was used. Wahlruss has no paralysis-type move to stop !Xav's movement either.
So yeah, anything that could kill !Xav couldn't hit him without extreme luck.
And last, their power scales are quite far from each other.
Wahlruss- Capable of destroying a country to possibly a planet.
!Xav- Capable of destroying an entire galaxy to possibly an entire universe if angered enough.
So yeah, Wahlruss LOOKED like he had the biggest advantage EVER.
But !Xav won this battle based on the itty-bitty details that most would disregard.
Wahlruss almost won this battle.
But then, he lost his head.
The Winner Is:
!Xav
== NEXT TIME ==
THE FIGHT I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF SO MUCH!
ZIGATH VERSUS ALAINE!
ALIEN DEATHMATCH!
Category:One Minute Brawls
Category:Fights