Gooseman

"You've got to stop looking at things through the suffocating prison of laws and justice, Randall."
Wayne 'Gooseman' is one of the original main characters in the world of Greasy Tales from the days of Newgrounds. Known as the CEO of Manwhore Industries LLC. and the ex-producer for the band Greasy Moose, he enjoys wearing sunglasses, singing and living a chaotic lifestyle. In the series, he only gets referred to as 'Gooseman', his real name, Wayne was revealed by the creator SexuaLobster outside the series. He got his well known nickname "Gooseman" back in his college days for stealing a crop-duster and brutally murdering a gander in the process.
== Design ==
=== Casual ===
Gooseman is a rather tall, muscularly-toned, caucasian white male, with long and wavy brown hair (6' 3" and 190lbs). He's shown to almost always wear a light pink button down shirt and olive green slacks, sometimes with a sunset orange tie and white top-blue bottom tennis shoes. He occasionally wears a white tank top and some white palm-tree shorts when at the beach; in the earliest episodes he can be seen wearing a green shirt. He is never seen without his sunglasses and will refuse to ever take them off. 
=== Incognitos ===
Gooseman, as it will be mentioned further below, is a planner and schemer never afraid to get his hands dirty. For his own unknown purposes, he may be seen in various disguises, from drag queen attire to classic spy outfits with a moustache and fake hair. 
== Personality ==
Not much is known about Gooseman's true nature or motives. Carrying a stoic and carefree personality for the most part, he tends to be masking a bizarre sense of morbid desire. He's often revealed to be scheming in the background or acting impulsively in his private life, while trying his best to stay undetected. He's a machiavellian mastermind, never backing off from whatever goals he sets. He's not afraid to use other people (mostly Fernando and Randy) as puppets in his strange plans. He's closely tied to the black market, and can be seen as an organ smuggler, drug dealer, murderer and more. His career as a music producer/minister is most likely to be there for money laundering.
== Battle Strenghts & Weaknesses ==
=== Special Gooseman Abilities ===
==== Superhuman Physicality ====
Throughout the series, Gooseman appears to have superhuman levels of speed, strength, and durability. He's able to run and jump faster than others, and is seen to get injured less easily. These skills are, however, not due to any manwhore abilities. Gooseman is not a manwhore, and his time spent on Pleasure Island has little to do with sexual training. He's also able to survive in the vacuum of space. His potential superpowers are discussed in the Milk episode of Fernando's Amazing Podcast at 11:11: due to the freak accident he was mainly involved in during the summer 1983 break in of a Hyper-nanomolecular research facility which supposedly imbued him with powers to the extents being unknown. 
==== Gods' Intuition ====
Gooseman is able to relatively easily detect his foes even when he can't see or hear them. His increased reflexes make him similar to God-like manwhores and Gods themselves, being able to go toe-to-toe against them. 
==== Magic and Musk Resistance ====
He's shown to be resistant to magic & psychological manipulation. He's also immune to manwhore powers. 
=== Other Abilities and Skills ===
==== Hand-to-Hand Combat ====
Even though he prefers to scheme and plot from the background, Gooseman has shown adept abilities of hand-to-hand combat.
==== Quick Wit ====
Gooseman is the smartest of the protagonists, making him an excellent negotiator. He has such a way with words that he's easily able to bend others to his will.
==== Scientific Knowledge ====
Gooseman has a great knowledge on chemistry and weaponry. He can use these in his plots for long-term results.
=== Major Weaknesses ===
==== Impulsivity ====
Gooseman's stoic appearance is a rather new disguise for his true impulsive self. In earlier episodes, he can be seen getting into trouble because of his bloodlust and general physical impulsivity.
==== Carelessness With Allies ====
Gooseman, as the great plotter he is, can overlook other people's wills and motives. Fernando and Randy, for instance, might not do as Gooseman plans due to Gooseman's miscalculations with their psychological nature.
== Political career ==
In 2023, Gooseman ran for office, during which he accused 8 politicians of being lizards, including the prime minister.Gooseman Runs for Office, 2023. His plan was to sell out to lobbyists and legalize Mexican Crazy Beans.
However, gopher baron/drug dealer Todd McGovern hurt Gooseman's campaign by disclosing Gooseman's heavy involvement with human organ trafficking. This allegation is true; for example, in the 2005 "Mooselove" short, Gooseman murdered Manny to harvest and sell his organs on the black market.Mooselove, 2005 
Infuriated, Gooseman broke into McGovern's house to demand an explanation. Upon learning that Gooseman intended to legalize Crazy Beans, McGovern retracted his claims and assisted Gooseman's campaign. For example, he had an front-page interview with Friday News wherein claimed Gooseman is "not a murderer." 
Meanwhile, to repair his reputation, Gooseman assured the safety of local butchers and apologized to the wax museum, saying he "hadn't slept well and [he] was hungry," insinuating that he ate wax sculptures.
These did not assist his campaign enough, however. On Election Day, news anchor Todd McSwain reported that, "despite the backing of gopher baron Todd McGovern, Mr. Gooseman suffered a crushing defeat in the Senate election." Gooseman was not too bothered by the defeat and immediately asked Fernando and McGovern to eat a huge bowl of Crazy Beans.
Current Voice: Chris Voigt .Category:Charecters
Category:Characters