1st House of Polyester Worship and Horizontal Throbbing Teenage Desire Our Lady of the White Go-Go Boot Lord of the 40-Watt Undulating Bubbling Lava Lamp Apocalyptic No Pizza Take-out After 12 Achey-Breaky Love Tabernacle in Nashville, Tenn.

The First House of Polyester Worship and Horizontal Throbbing Teenage Desire Our Lady of the White Go-Go Boot Lord of the 40-Watt Undulating Bubbling Lava Lamp Apocalyptic No Pizza Take-out After 12 Achey-Breaky Love Tabernacle in Nashville, Tenn. was [or is] a parody religion whose biggest monument is their lengthy name.
=== Doctrine ===
==== Theism ====
As their name implies, they are both Trinitarian and revere the Virgin Mary as well as venerate saints.McDonald, Sam. “A MAN OF THE POLYESTER CLOTH - Daily Press”. 3 March 1995. <https://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-xpm-19950303-1995-03-03-9503030071-story.html> (21 June 2019)Locey, Bill. “Motor-Mouth Madness - LA Times”. 3 July 1997. <https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1997-jul-03-ca-9132-story.html> (21 June 2019)Predoehl, Eric. “Review: Reverend Billy C. Wirtz Inspires Blues-Boogie Believers - MTV”. 22 April 2000. <http://www.mtv.com/news/821340/review-reverend-billy-c-wirtz-inspires-blues-boogie-believers/> (21 June 2019)
==== Belief ====
They permit if not require tattoos.McDonald, Sam. “A MAN OF THE POLYESTER CLOTH - Daily Press”. 3 March 1995. <https://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-xpm-19950303-1995-03-03-9503030071-story.html> (21 June 2019)Locey, Bill. “Motor-Mouth Madness - LA Times”. 3 July 1997. <https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1997-jul-03-ca-9132-story.html> (21 June 2019) They seem to view anything considered junk by the cultural elite as though the holiest of things or advocates thereof, including "velvet paintings, trailer parks, faith healers, Waffle House restaurants and Billy Ray Cyrus".McDonald, Sam. “A MAN OF THE POLYESTER CLOTH - Daily Press”. 3 March 1995. <https://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-xpm-19950303-1995-03-03-9503030071-story.html> (21 June 2019) They seek to heal and damn all which espouses political correctness.McDonald, Sam. “A MAN OF THE POLYESTER CLOTH - Daily Press”. 3 March 1995. <https://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-xpm-19950303-1995-03-03-9503030071-story.html> (21 June 2019)Locey, Bill. “Motor-Mouth Madness - LA Times”. 3 July 1997. <https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1997-jul-03-ca-9132-story.html> (21 June 2019) They permit yet do not promote alcohol consumption, though whether or not it is during worship is unknown.Locey, Bill. “Motor-Mouth Madness - LA Times”. 3 July 1997. <https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1997-jul-03-ca-9132-story.html> (21 June 2019)
==== Worship ====
Worship takes place involving preaching at a pulpit,McDonald, Sam. “A MAN OF THE POLYESTER CLOTH - Daily Press”. 3 March 1995. <https://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-xpm-19950303-1995-03-03-9503030071-story.html> (21 June 2019)Locey, Bill. “Motor-Mouth Madness - LA Times”. 3 July 1997. <https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1997-jul-03-ca-9132-story.html> (21 June 2019)Predoehl, Eric. “Review: Reverend Billy C. Wirtz Inspires Blues-Boogie Believers - MTV”. 22 April 2000. <http://www.mtv.com/news/821340/review-reverend-billy-c-wirtz-inspires-blues-boogie-believers/> (21 June 2019)Gwilliam, Owen. “Bizarre Moods - CDX 2003”. Ver. 1. <https://otg.brainiac.com/cdx2003.htm> (21 June 2019) where the clergy are adorned in "ultramegaloud Hawaiian shirts, wicked snake skin 'go-to-hell' boots, and - the ultimate fashion accessory - tattoos.McDonald, Sam. “A MAN OF THE POLYESTER CLOTH - Daily Press”. 3 March 1995. <https://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-xpm-19950303-1995-03-03-9503030071-story.html> (21 June 2019)
=== History ===
Their beliefs and makeup are peppered throughout the songs regarding them by Billy C. Wirtz, a self-ordained Reverend of the First Church, including "Butt For the Grace", "Margarita Hell", "Big Jess", & "Mama Was a Deadhead".McDonald, Sam. “A MAN OF THE POLYESTER CLOTH - Daily Press”. 3 March 1995. <https://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-xpm-19950303-1995-03-03-9503030071-story.html> (21 June 2019)
=== References ===
Category:Fictional Religions
Category:Music by Rev. Billy C. Wirtz
Category:Completed Articles