Thor: Love, Thunder and Minions

Thor: Love, Thunder and Minions is a fanfiction crossover short written by MarioFan65. It is a crossover with Despicable Me and Thor. It was released on September 13, 2022.
==Characters==
*Minions
**Kevin
**Stuart
**Bob
**Otto
*Thor
*Sif
*Warriors Three
**Volstagg
**Fandral
**Hogun
*Loki
==Transcript==
(One day at Gru's lab, the Minions are on the job by working on inventions, serums and weapons as Otto is on his desk, writing on a paper and daydream about Gru being his "god" as he and Gru fly together to fight against dragons and face off the Vicious 6, only for Gru to call out Otto in Kevin's voice)
*Gru: *in Kevin's voice* Otto? Otto? Otto!
(Otto wake up from daydreaming as Kevin, Stuart and Bob catch up on Otto in his desk)
*Kevin: (Otto. What are you doing?)
*Otto: *hide the paper* (Uh, it's nothing. I was just dreaming about a pet rock.)
*Stuart: (What is that paper holding on your desk?)
*Otto: (Oh. They're my taxes.)
*Bob: (Our boss do the taxes for us. You got a cute drawing for us to share with?)
*Otto: *show a picture of Gru pointing to the Minions in the clouds* (Oh yes. I got Gru the god pointing out all the Minions in the clouds. Gru is the best boss in the whole world we have ever worked with and after all the bosses we let down on, we never expect to work with a supervillain ever since we got out of London for saving the queen's crown.)
*Kevin: (First of all, Gru doesn't do villainy anymore and it been months since we got the Moon back in its position in outer space from the clutches of Vector. Second of all, stop living in the past and work with the present!)
*Otto: (What? Are you saying that Gru is no longer a supervillain? What?!) *cries* (You let me down Gru. Where are the villains going to get some representation?)
*Stuart: (Oh Stuart. You're a classic Minion. The past is no more. Stick with the present.)
*Bob: (It's okay to be in the past, unless we build a time machine out of Professor Flux's clone machine.)
*Dr. Nefario: *voice* Attention all Minions. Head down to the stage as Gru is about to make an announcement.
*Kevin: (Announcement time! Let's go!)
*Otto: (Gru! He's coming. And no! I refuse to see the man until he learn his ways of being a bad guy.)
*Dr. Nefario: *voice* And that means you, Otto.
*Otto: (What?)
*Stuart: (Ha. He called you out.)
*Bob: (Come on. You don't wanna miss the special presentation.)
*Otto: (Fine. I won't regret it. I always attend a meeting on all days in a month.) *follow his friends*
(All the Minions show up at the stage with Dr. Nefario, Margo, Edith and Agnes sitting as Gru get up on the stage to hold a microphone to begin his announcement)
*Gru: Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you all for coming. Man, it been a wild ride since stealing the Moon. Now we got a world testing to go through and we have been studying all the different worlds for the past few weeks and one of them include a Norse god holding a hammer with lightning.
*Minions: Ooh.
*Margo: What is the lightning hammer the god always hold?
*Agnes: Does it make popcorn inside?
*Gru: No. It's a magic hammer that contain thunder and can be used by the gods. No, it's not a toy to play with and no, it's not a weapon to shoot bullets. It's a object!
*Edith: The hammer is actually a weapon Gru.
*Gru: Okay. You can say all you want. But it's just a magical weapon used by the gods to fight and spread lightning with thunder.
*Dr. Nefario: Like what Zeus always does by throwing thunderbolts to create lightning when the thunderstorm comes. Boom! Boom!
*Kyle: *bark*
*Otto: (Ooh.)
*Gru: Otto, you got something to say?
*Otto: (What if one of us hold a hammer?)
*Gru: Ha. Sorry Otto. Didn't you pay attention? The gods only hold the hammer as we humans and Minions cannot hold it as hard as a rock. It's impossible to hold a hammer without any magical powers. We're agents and we agents can go on missions any time we want like spying on a heist.
*Kevin: (What if we steal the hammer?)
*Gru: Hey. I got an idea. Great idea. What if we try stealing the hammer? Isn't it a great idea?
*Margo: Gru. It's not going to work. You said gods only hold the hammer and not us.
*Gru: It may be a mystery. It can work out if we can use one of our inventions to get the hammer out of the gods' hands. Everyone set up the portal machine!
*Minions: *move out the chairs and set up the portal machine by opening a portal to Earth-616*
*Dr. Nefario: *read the name of the world* Earth-838. Earth-617. What is this Earth eventually called?
*Gru: This universe is called Earth-616! Can't you see with your glasses right?
*Dr. Nefario: I had a hard time reading names I'm not familiar with.
*Gru: Now you know. Hey, don't we all live in Earth?
*Dr. Nefario: Never mind. *clears throat* Ahem! Minions, as the portal machine is set up, who want to try out the world for testing and get the magic hammer?
*Otto: (Ooh, pick me.)
*Kevin: (Pick me.)
*Stuart: (Pick me too.)
*Bob: (You're forgetting about me.)
*Dr. Nefario: So many hands up. How about I pick the four of you to go to Earth-616 and bring home the hammer.
*Otto: (Ya! We're going to a new world!)
*Gru: You Minions are on a go! Good luck finding that magic hammer and my workers, activate the portal!
*Dave: (Si!) *activate the portal with his Minions*
*Margo: It's gonna be a worthy trip of a ride.
*Edith: Hey, we should all go and why not us?
*Gru: Girls, this mission is for Minions only. Risky missions like this could be dangerous and I don't want to see any of you guys getting hurt like what happen in outer space.
*Agnes: Did we all crash in space on that day?
*Gru: No. You were just held captive. Do you think the aliens would be there to abduct us?
*Kevin: (Uh, Agent Gru. With the portal working, do we all go or one of us is taking turns to find the hammer?)
*Gru: Just go! You four are free to go. No need for assistance.
*Kevin: (My group let's go.)
*Otto: *hug Gru* (Goodbye Gru. Hope this adventure doesn't last long of a lifetime.)
*Gru: Okay Otto. Off you go. And don't let me down.
*Otto: (Eee!) *excited and follow the Minions to the portal* (Earth-616, here we come!)
(The Minions arrive at Earth-616 via a portal as they step upon the Nine Realms and arriving at Vanaheim. The is seen to be densely wooded with little evidence of heavy-industrialization of space-faring races.)
*Otto: (We're here!)
*Kevin: (Where are we?)
*Stuart: (Is this the home of the Norse gods?) *see a Mjölnir hammer land on the ground* (There it is! We found the magic hammer!)
*Bob: (It's our lucky day! Come to papa!) *try to hold the Mjölnir* (Come on. Just pull.)
*Kevin: (Papa mia. Gru is right.)
*Otto: (All of us can't hold the hammer with the power of the anchor.)
*Bob: (Come on, come on.) *the Mjölnir float on him* Uh oh? *let go of the Mjölnir* Ah!
*Thor: *hold the Mjölnir by gaining lightning* Vanirs, the Marauders are still gaining on the camps and small villages. We must win this battle for all!
*Hogun: We got this Thor. *shoot arrows at the Marauders*
*Otto: (Whoa, so cool.)
*Kevin: (How about we fight these Marauders out?)
*Stuart: (Sounds fair and ten times the better!)
*Bob: (It's a Marauder battle!) *scream and run with the Minions to fight the Marauders)
(A brawl still leaps out in Vanaheim with Thor, Sif and members of the Warrior Three clashing in with the Marauders, consisting of Kronans, Sakaarans, Easik, Yrds and R'malk'i. One of the Asgardians slash swords on the Sakaarans as the rest of them shoot arrows at the Easiks, Yrds and R'malk'is. The Minions try to fight by throwing rocks at the Kronans, only to be chased by the big rock warriors, gaining attention to the Asgardians.)
*Sif: Uh, Thor. What are those freaks doing in the village?
*Thor: The yellow dots are in danger! I gotta go save them! *fly to the Kronans*
*Fandral: Do your best Thor. We won't let you down.
*Thor: Hey you rock heads! Why don't you pick somebody your own size! *throw the Mjölnir at every Kronan*
*Otto: (Ooh, banana.)
*Kevin: (The gods are real.)
*Stuart: (Spicy.)
*Bob: (Yay!)
*Thor: We were about to go camping! There were going to be fish and I was going to slash at the beasts for food. No one messes with the gods! Have at you! And you! And you too! *spin his hammer to kill all the Kronans with one more roaring at him as he spin his hammer and kill the last Kronan in battle* That's every last one of them.
*Otto: (Woo! We're saved!)
*Thor: I almost forget about you guys. You're toast! *spin his hammer to hit all the Sakaarans, Easiks, Yrds and R'malk'is in battle*
*Fandral: *cheer with everyone* Way a go Thor.
*Volstagg: We finally got rid of those ragtag pirates and invaders in Vanaheim.
*Thor: Victory for the gods. Can't never let go of my Mjølnir. Who's the worthy king now? *make the Vanirs cheer*
*Otto: (Woo! Thor!) *chant Thor's name with everyone*
*Thor: Thank you, thank you. It been a long day for us. We been travelling through the cosmos and met some fierce and strongest warriors across the galaxy. No need to argue for compliments.
*Sif: Try to get serious when you have the chance to feel the thunder through your heart.
*Thor: Really Sif. I can ride a hammer any time when I can pass through floating shields. *see Otto in front of his hammer* Hey little guy. We save your heads at the ground. Can I get a little thank for the heads up?
*Otto: (Hammer.) *try to grab the Mjølnir*
*Thor: Whoa, easy there fella. This Mjølnir is harder to hold as the gods can handle all the powerful weapons for battle.
*Kevin: (The boss.)
*Stuart: (Is god.)
*Thor: Well thanks. What are you guys suppose to be? Ants? Worms? Earthworms?
*Bob: (Minions.)
*Thor: That's a henchmen's name. Are you guys actually earworms?
*Otto: (Minions.)
*Thor: Minions. Not a bad name for these yellow pill creatures.
*Sif: These little guys look like alchemists working for those dwarves.
*Kevin: (Who you calling dwarf?)
*Thor: No one said you are a dwarf. Are you willing to hang out in Asgard?
*Otto: (What's a Asgard?)
*Thor: Asgard is the home to many Asgardian gods in the skies of outer space. Feel free to join us for a ceremony of saving Vanaheim from the Marauders.
*Otto: (Boo-yah! We'll join.)
*Sif: With these guys? We don't know what they're saying.
*Thor: We can hardly understand them. In fact, they got a language of their own like Minionese.
*Hogun: Sound like they are speaking alien to me.
*Thor: Any alien language can understand us through our words. *call out for Heimdall* Heimdall! Take us back to Asgard! *he and everyone teleport with the Bifrost Bridge*
*Otto: *on the Bifrost Bridge* (Woo!)
(The Minions team up with the Asgardians as they arrive at Asgard via the Bifrost Bridge. Asgard is a a small, planetary body that serves as home to the Asgardians, a race of beings recognized by humans on Earth as the deities of Norse mythology, such as Thor and Odin. It is not round like the Earth, does not spin on its axis, and does not revolve around a star. It is a flat, asteroid-like mass that has a top surface with a gravitational pull, similar to that of the Earth, in order to keep the citizens and their cities from floating into the void. The gang were brought to the Himinbjorg where they meet Heimdall guarding the gates.)
*Thor: Heimdall, my man. Took against some Marauders and saved a realm.
*Heimdall: You sure completed a long journey from here.
*Otto: (Ya. Woo hoo.)
*Heimdall: Um, are you bringing visitors from other worlds?
*Thor: These Minions are just visiting. It doesn't matter if they're from the Nine Realms or not.
*Heimdall: All creatures reside in the Nine Realms. From here, I can see the Nine Realms and ten trillion souls.
*Sif: Like all these souls that flow through space.
*Heimdall: My friends, you got a ceremony to catch up as Asgard have heard of the defeat of the Marauders. This one's for you all.
*Thor: Look like we must be making our way to celebrate on returning home.
(Thor and the gang walk through the bridge in Asgard with big cheers from the crowd and greeted by the Einherjar, walking on their way to the royal place as they meet up with King Odin)
*Odin: Welcome home, Thor Odinson.
*Thor: Father, it been a honor for saving one of the Nine Realms from those pirates.
*Hogun: In return, we got visitors.
*Otto: (Bello.)
*Odin: What are those yellow pill creatures you're bringing in?
*Thor: Say hello to the Minions, father.
*Kevin: (Banana!)
*Bob: (Hail to the gods.)
*Frigga: These yellow pills are actually Minions?
*Thor: They're what they're called. Like calling a green apple a pear.
*Odin: What bring you guys here.
*Otto: (We would love to borrow the magic hammer and take it home for study.)
*Thor: *see everyone shocked and confused* Whoa, you wouldn't want to take my Mjölnir hammer, do you?
*Odin: This Uru hammer is very special to wield for my son. It is made with power and love.
*Thor: Like Love and Thunder. The best moment I had with the Mjölnir is fighting against a Korbinite. *have a flashback of him fighting Beta Ray Bill at Korbin*
*Stuart: (Ooh la la. Can we keep it?)
*Thor: What? No. I can't leave my baby behind. This Uru hammer is only used for battle. I don't think you guys have the ability to carry a weapon like this?
*Otto: (What?)
*Sif: It sucks to be you. *pinch at Otto*
*Heimdall: You really got rid of those ragtag pirates. When was the last time you defeated a group of invaders in the cosmos?
*Thor: I beat up a demon once and slayed a goblin in a underworld. That's the best trick I could do to save my pure heroism.
*Skurge: Have you beat a villain before aside from facing a god?
*Thor: Let me see. I faced many villains before and I know some I can remember from the last time I beat their butts out of their faces. *get a flashback of him fighting Gorr the God Butcher with the All-Black the Necrosword at Alfheim, as well Thor, Iron Man, the Incredible Hulk and Captain America fighting Thanos with the Infinity Stones on the Infinity Gaunlet at Titan with Black Widow and Hakweye shooting arrows at the Chitauris along with Thor throwing his hammer to kill Man-Thing at the swamp*
*Eir: How many times you won?
*Thor: Many times, except the days when I lose to the most and fiercest warriors in the universe.
*Tyr: Have you seen your brother? He hasn't show up in the ceremony.
*Thor: I have not seen the last of my brother. He may be up to something if it weren't for the Frost Giants.
*Bob: (A Frost Giant?)
*Thor: Loki was a member of the Frost Giants, but after a battle with the frosts, my father raised Loki to be a brother and prince for Asgard.
*Odin: I know you will be king someday, my son.
*Thor: Thank you. Very happy to rule a kingdom in the future like no other king would do.
*Otto: (What about your sister?)
*Thor: *sighs* I do have a sister, but we don't talk about her.
*Otto: (What happen?)
*Thor: You don't wanna know. But anyways, let's cut down to the negatives and go with the positives.
*Tyr: Let's celebrate a glorious event for our humble friends!
*Thor: *cheers with everyone, only to see a puff of green smoke with the arrival of Loki* Now what?
*Loki: *laugh* Greetings, all Asgardians. Your savior has arrived!
*Odin: Loki Laufeyson, you're late! Where have you been?
*Loki: Oh, it been a marvelous day for some glorious purpose. What are you expecting for your liberation of Vanaheim?
*Thor: We won in Vanaheim and you weren't there. Don't even think about spreading a trick on us if it was for your magical staff.
*Loki: I got friends. And I hope they slay a single ice on your faces. *use his staff to open a portal to bring in the Frost Giants for a invasion*
*Odin: *hit his staff* Loki! You should have known by this!
*Heimdall: How dare you?
*Loki: *laugh* Enjoy your last breath as you can.
*Thor: Asgardians, this look like a job for us. Let's slash them all! *he and the Asgardians fight the Frost Giants*
*Otto: *scream and throw a sword at a statue of Odin* (Oops.)
(Thor and the Asgardians with the Minions clash with Loki and the Frost Giants through the city as Thor fight Loki near the bridge)
*Thor: *fight Loki* What is wrong with you?
*Loki: If you can kneel before me if you can.
*Thor: Not today brother. *hit Loki with the Mjölnir*
*Sif: *slash the Frost Giants* There's too many of them.
*Fandral: They're going after the palace!
*Hogun: We must kill them all as we can.
*Odin: *hit every Frost Giant* Get out all of you. Stay away from my throne! *encounter Laufey* What now?
*Laufey: Hello Odin. We meet again.
*Odin: Don't even think about getting close to me.
*Laufey: You took my son away from me. Now I'm taking him back to Jotunheim where he belongs.
*Odin: Your son did a lot of terrible things outside of Asgard more than you as we will win this fight. *jump and slash Laufey*
*Laufey: You're not a true king to me. *fight Odin*
*Hailstrum: *confront the Minions* Who's the little baby now?
*Otto: (Grrrr. Ah!) *try to hit Hailstrum*
*Hailstrum: Nice try dot. You won't regret this. *kick Otto*
*Kevin: (Otto!)
*Hailstrum: Nice try weakling. Let's step them all!
*Volstagg: Enough! *slash every Frost Giant*
*Hailstrum: We must retreat.
*Raze: Go!
*Grundroth: Get out while you can! *he and the Frost Giants retreat*
*Thor: *battle Loki through the floating walls and hit him through the bridge* It's over, brother!
*Loki: What, because I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?
*Thor: Let's face it. You lost your chance to become king.
*Loki: I will be king, but I will be back and facing you even more and your tiny pills! See you in the cosmos. *laugh and disappear*
*Thor: It's all an illusion and trick. Where could he be hiding?
*Loki: *show up by duplicating many illusions* Still can't see me on the other side. *laugh as Thor try to hit his illusions as the real Loki punch Thor in the chest* See you soon. *teleport with his staff*
*Thor: *get up as the Frost Giants warp to the portal as the Asgardians and Minions show up to comfort him* What happen?
*Sif: We lost.
*Heimdall: Loki is behind all of this.
*Thor: What could he do to cast a spell on people heads to spread wars like this.
*Odin: Son, we really need to talk about this.
(Thor, the Minions and the other Asgardians are having a talk in the hallway, discussing about Loki and the other dangers in the world)
*Thor: We beat every invader in the past, but my brother is being one of them on trying to take over our kingdom.
*Odin: If you and your friends can help, none of this would have happen.
*Frigga: I suggest you guys need better equipment to fight against those Frost Giants.
*Thor: A little equipment would be a great use to defend ourselves. Grab a sword and shield if you like. No fighting in the halls.
*Otto: *hold a staff* (I am a king of bananas. I make magic!) *zap on the floor*
*Kevin: *hold a bunch of beakers and drop them* (Oops.)
*Stuart: *hold a sword* (Whoa.) *cut a slice of apples* (Ta da.)
*Bob: *wear magic gloves* (I got the magic in me.) *zap on the cards* (He he.)
*Thor: Hey, put them back where you find them.
*Otto: (What? You said we can take all the equipment we want.)
*Thor: These are Einherjar equipment. I can give you your own equipment if you like.
*Otto: (Wow. Really?) *he and the other Minions are wore Asgardian armored suits with equipment* (Fantastic.)
*Thor: That's the best we can do to give you the best equipment for a adventure. We must be looking forward to a classic Thor adventure. Wanna join?
*Kevin: (Yes. Praise us Thor. By the love of your gods, we will surrender you for our bananas.)
*Thor: I can eat all the bananas I want. We're going to the cosmos to find Loki and his Frost Giants for a challenge.
*Stuart: (Yeah! Talk about encourge.)
*Bob: (We're brave.)
*Heimdall: I know you're going to do great on the quest, little ones.
*Otto: (We promise to not let the gods down.)
*Heimdall: Oh no, you won't let the gods down for this.
*Thor: We know what to do and how it works.
(Thor, the Minions and the Asgardians leave the palace to head over to the Himinbjorg as Heimdall is about to use his sword to open the Bifrost Bridge for them to travel through the Nine Realms)
*Odin: My son. You're in good hands. I hope you take care and all of your friends to fight back your brother.
*Thor: A king always do to protect his kingdom from invaders.
*Odin: And a prince does guard royal to the guardians.
*Sif: Get ready you guys. It's gonna be a tough mission.
*Otto: (We're ready.)
*Hogun: No backing down on the team this time.
*Frigga: We're counting on you guys. Find Loki and take him to custody.
*Thor: You mean like justice? He should be taken to court and exile. That's more like it.
*Odin: Good luck my fellow Asgardians. I hope you come back with a lot of treasure holding on your hands.
*Thor: If we can find a lot of treasure. That would be great. Come on you guys, we're off to a exciting adventure. Heimdall, open the bridge!
*Heimdall: Yes, your majesty. *turn the sword to open the Bifrost Bridge*
*Otto: (Ya. Woo!)
*Thor: Follow me! *he and his friends warp with the Bifrost Bridge*
(Thor, the Minions and their friends travel with the Bifrost Bridge to arrive at the planet of Indigarr, a home world with three suns and flags standing on the ground with colorful trees and a sunset at sun)
*Thor: Here we are you guys. Our first stop.
*Sif: We're in Indigarr.
*Thor: The planet with the three suns like Xandar. This looks worthy for a relaxing holiday.
*Sif: I thought this adventure was like a relaxing holiday.
*Thor: I wonder where our friends could meet up.
*Yakan: *show up with the Indigarrians* Greetings, Thor. You came here to help.
*Thor: To help. About Loki's schemes?
*Yakan: Our planet has been attacked by a bunch of furry chicken humanoid invaders and took our Sacred Temple as a fortress.
*Thor: Oh no. That's terrible. Don't worry, we can help to get rid of those chicken pirates.
*Kevin: *act like a chicken*
*Glenda: Habooska and his army of Booskans have taken over the temple where our gods used to stand. The problem is that the gods are on vacation and we got no guardian or master to fight against these troops and protect our village from those creeps.
*Sif: We can help. We'll fight together to save your temple from those creeps.
*Otto: (Arr. We'll fight these timbers out of the way.)
*Thor: As we Asgardians agreed, we're taking them all down to save your humble home. Let's go.
*Yakan: Thank you very much Thor. Your father would appreciate all the help from the clutches of those radiers.
*Thor: It's a Thor thing to do. No other god like me can fight a bunch of childish troops like the Booskans.
(Thor, the Minions and the rest of the gang including Yakan show up to the hideout to spy on the Sacred Temple where Habooska and his army are shooting lasers against the bricks as Thor and his team confront the Booskans together)
*Thor: So this is your hideout?
*Yakan: This is where we have been hiding all the time. We're doing terribly on kicking those ruthless birds out of the temple.
*Glenda: They taken everything. They're crazy enough to rule a temple on what a god always does.
*Hogun: Like those Kronans? Could have kick them on the rocks every time they bring out their anger issues.
*Bob: (The Booskans are crazy like us!) *Otto hit him* (Hey.)
*Thor: Alright ladies and gentlemen! We're not going to take it from those Booskans taking over Indigarr. This is the moment where we kick their asses out of the planet and save your homes from these raiders ruining your image. I am Thor, son of Odin! *power up with the Mjölnir*
*Otto: *hold his staff* (Ya! Let's fight!)
*Habooska: (Kill them all!) *send out his army to shoot and ride on the flying mobile with his army*
*Thor: CHARGE! *he and everyone clash with the Booskans along with the Minions*
(The Battle of Indigarr begins as the Indigarrians use their swords to slash the Booskans as Thor use his hammer to hit every Booskan and destroy their mobiles as Sif cut off the heads of the Booskans with Volstagg using his axe to slash the Booskans as well Fandral shooting arrows at them and Hogun using his sword to kill them. The Minions use a effect wave on the Booskans by slowing them down as Bob throw the beakers at the beaks with Otto using his magic to crash one of their flying mobiles. Once the Booskans try to kill Thor, the thunder god jumps by standing to block two Booskans as Otto did the same. Thor let go of the flying mobiles and make the Booskans crash on their mobiles while Otto did not. Habooska try to charge at Thor as Thor kick him through the mobile with the mobile crashing as Habooska jump to fight Thor through the ground.)
*Thor: What is wrong with you? You're beak and face is messed up.
*Habooska: (Ah coo coo coo coo coo!) *pinch Thor*
*Thor: Ah! Son of a beak! Is this how you plead a god? *punch Habooska*
*Habooska: (Ka-skoosh!) *kick Thor*
*Thor: My armor. Die, Booskan scum! *use his hammer to try to slam on Habooska as the Booskan grab the hammer* What the?
*Habooska: *in Loki's voice* What are you expecting from me? Knives?
*Thor: Loki? *Habooska punch him as Loki show up from a illusion*
*Loki: Surprise. Didn't expect to see me on the war.
*Habooska: (Oh Loki! The God of Mischief! Thank you for saving me.)
*Thor: What? You did all of this?!
*Loki: Oh yes. I send these Booskans to take over the Indigarrian village while I was spying on you to show up on the fight.
*Thor: I should known of this that you are behind the Indigarrian war. How dare you! *power up and fight Loki*
*Loki: You know, brothers always look out for each other.
*Thor: Well, not for me and not for my sister. *glow and punch Loki*
*Loki: *use his scepter to power up* Yes. The glorious purpose of power is rising through my veins. You won't get a shift of me if it was for my gloves. *use a chaos wave at Thor*
*Thor: *crash on the rocks* Gah!
*Otto: (Thor!)
*Kevin: (Oh no.) *surrounded by Booskans* (Oh no you don't.) *use his sword to kill the Booskans*
*Yakan: We fear for no mercy. We will surrender! *shoot arrows at the Booskans*
*Glenda: For Indigarr! *shoot lasers at the Booskans*
*Loki: *charge at Thor* Have you learned from your mother not to play with your food?
*Thor: You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy. *hit Loki*
*Loki: *form illusions while laughing* Can't see me? Loki see, Loki do.
*Thor: Those fakes! *shoot lightning at every illusion of Loki as he charge at the real one*
*Loki: You naughty boy. You know your manners.
*Thor: You didn't see me kill all the Booskans, didn't you. *throw his hammer to kill all the Booskans including Habooska*
*Bob: *cheer* (Woo! Woo! Woo!)
*Thor: *grab his hammer* Now that's what I called a Thor action fight.
*Loki: I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again. I'll see you at Jotunheim. *teleport with his staff*
*Thor: Brother! *smash a rock* You'll be punish when I get to the frozen world.
*Yakan: Are you okay Thor? We won, did we?
*Thor: We may have killed all the Booskans, but Loki is behind all of his crimes and have not learned a lesson since my last adventure.
*Otto: (Boo!) *Kevin hit him* (Hey.) *slap fight with Kevin*
*Glenda: Our Sacred Temple us safe and good to reside in the place again.
*Sif: There gotta be a lot of hard work to clean up.
*Yakan: At least, our goats Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder are protected by the leashes. Bring them in boys. *send his people to bring out Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder, only to scream by a sudden second*
*Thor: These are your goats? Man, they be screaming like hell like those regular goats from Midgard.
*Sif: I'm not carrying those home.
*Yakan: Thank you Thor and your friends for saving our home. We could never forgive you and we wouldn't save our temple if you guys didn't show up on the war.
*Thor: We came here for no reason when you couldn't help yourself on beating those bird-like beaks up.
*Stuart: (Kills like fried chicken.) *make a chicken sound*
*Glenda: I know you got other things to do, but I wish you the best of luck at facing your brother in the frozen world.
*Thor: Jotunheim it is. We must go to challenge my brother for a rematch.
*Glenda: Don't let the trickster try to trick you through your mind. We're counting on you.
*Yakan: Okay people, let's clean up the mess and fix the village.
*Otto: (We're going to Jotunheim.)
*Sif: In places Asgardians. We're going to the next destination.
*Thor: For the glory of Thor, we travel to Jotunheim! *he and his group teleport to Jotunheim*
*Glenda: Good luck gods. You're gonna need it.
(Thor and the gang travel to Jotunheim, a frozen planet ruled by Frost Giants together as the gang stand on a mountain with castles and Frost Giant statues on the snow as they wait for Loki and the Frost Giants to show up)
*Thor: Here we are to the coldest place of all, Jotunheim.
*Otto: *cover himself* (Cold, cold, cold.)
*Kevin: *freezing* (Freezing, freezing.)
*Sif: Aw, cheer up. It's just cold weather. There's nothing to freeze about.
*Hogun: We could have brought in a sweater.
*Volstagg: Why not a coat? It'll protect our throats.
*Fandral: Could have use a force field to avoid the cold from getting inside our bodies.
*Stuart: (Just like what we needed.) *see the Frost Giants emerging* (Uh oh.)
*Bob: *scared* (I got a very bad feeling...)
*Thor: They're here. They know that we're here as intruders.
*Loki: *show up by teleporting* Well, well, well. If it isn't Thor, Sif, the Warrior Three and those yellow Minions, how surprising you gods decided to show up for our destiny to take over the Nine Realms.
*Thor: You should know that when you betray me, I will kill you. But I don't want to do this to you, but I have to.
*Loki: Don't lie to your brother, Thor. Your friends are weak, petty and tiny and unable to beat us in a fierce battle like what happen on Asgard.
*Sif: From a realm of cold and darkness came the Frost Giants. Threatening to plunge the mortal world into a new ice age.
*Laufey: You guys shouldn't be here as trespasing our territory is against our will on our culture.
*Raze: You got anybody to pick on?
*Thor: Don't make me get close to you with my hammer.
*Loki: On the behalf of the burden of my glorious purpose, how would you like to join my army on invading the Earth?
*Thor: That's Midgard you war criminal.
*Loki: Are you expecting of a big challenge or a battle across the Nine Realms.
*Thor: We are expecting to fight in your home world where you were raised. Who think a god can turn back on their side to work with those ice gods that invade multiple planets in the Nine Realms and conquer a planet with low level gods? For the odds may be against us, but I’ll tell you this for free… *glows* Here it comes. This ends here, AND NOW!
*Minions: *cheer for Thor*
*Loki: Come on. What do you expect?
*Sif: You heard him. You're going to lose.
*Laufey: Son, we have to do something.
*Loki: Don't worry father. I'll teach them two lessons, or three.
*Thor: This is for Asgard! Brawl out! *battle cry and fight Loki and the Frost Giants*
(The battle of Jotunheim begins as Thor battle Loki with Sif, Volstagg, Fandral and Hogun fighting against the Frost Giants as the Minions use their equipment to shoot all the Frost Giants, only to be encountered by a Frost Beast as the giant Frost Beast chase the Minions down. Thor and Loki clash in a battle alongside Thor's friends and the Frost Giants.)
*Thor: *shoot thunder at Loki* Eat this! And that!
*Loki: *shoot dark magic at the mountains* You made me destroy a mountain.
*Thor: This is more of your own fault. *whip his hammer at Loki*
*Loki: Ugh. Such a puny big spoiled brat.
*Sif: *cut every Frost Giant up* Don't let them get to the Bifrost.
*Laufey: Got any last words to make, Lady Sif?
*Sif: I'm not afraid of you, you little ice beast. *fight Laufey.
*Raze: Make them suffer! *send the army to shoot snowballs at the Warriors Three*
*Hogun: Protect yourselves!
*Hailstrum: Don't leave you warrior. *fight Hogun*
*Raze: *fight Volstagg* You got something to say?
*Volstagg: Not in a moment. *punch Raze*
*Grundroth: You and me pal, we'll make a great team.
*Fandral: Not today! *slash Grundroth*
*Thor: *punch and kick Loki and push him to the cave* Hey Loki. Where are your friends?
*Loki: I still have friends. You are hurting my image.
*Thor: The only problem that is hurting your image is you.
*Loki: You made have fought a Mad Titan and a God Butcher, but you have faced a God of Mischief many times.
*Thor: I always fight you and with my power, you can't have it.
*Loki: Now that you face me at my world, you kneel before me as your savior.
*Thor: You can't be a savior and a warlord at both times. *power up and hit Loki*
*Loki: *crash on the wall* Son of a rock. You're stronger than I thought.
*Thor: I'm always stronger as always and always have been since becoming prince.
*Loki: If Asgard can have another prince, you can feel the wrath of Loki! *use his staff to charge at Thor*
*Thor: *use his hammer to block the attack* I got five words for you.
*Loki: What is it?
*Thor: Feel the power of... THOR! *glow and blast his thunder at Loki, destroying most of the mountains and cracking the whole planet up*
(Most of the mountains and castles collapses as the Minions are running from the Frost Beast with most of the snow falling apart from the mountains)
*Otto: (Run, run! Don't let the beast eat you!)
*Kevin: (We'll never live for the future!) *see the mountains fall* (Run a little faster!)
*Stuart: (Run to daddy!)
*Bob: (I want to go home!) *jump with the Minions just as the path collapses with the Frost Beast falling from the shift*
*Otto: *fall* Ah! *crash land on the rocks with the Minions* (Woo hoo! We're saved!)
*Kevin: (Good chase you guys. We done well.)
*Stuart: (Our magic powers really helped us to survive the fall.)
*Bob: (Let's go help our friends.)
(Back at the battle of Jotunheim, Sif and the Warriors Three continue to fight the Frost Giants as Thor confront Loki at the destroyed mountain just as the cracks begin to rise)
*Thor: So, you're about to give up as you lost the fight, are you.
*Loki: It's not over yet brother. I still have a chance of killing you and your childish Minions.
*Thor: They're my allies. Whatever you like it or not, they can still make a mockery out of you.
*Loki: How dare you mock the God of Mischief you thunder god. I should be king and will always be king of Asgard.
*Thor: Odin will decide when to choose the next king of Asgard.
*Loki: Don't make me call the Living Tribunal on you.
*Thor: Or you'll be courting Death when the Frost Giants told you what to do.
*Loki: That's on the purple madman's name. *fly to fight Thor*
*Thor: *fly to punch and kick Loki all over the planet by smashing through rocks and ice* Feel the thunder of lightning! *spread lightning on Loki*
*Loki: *blast many plasma and shoot them at Thor* You haven't seen the last of me, Thor.
*Thor: Bring me thunder! *shoot thunder at Loki*
*Loki: Gah! What are you? Zeus?
*Thor: You mistake me as the most powerful god in the universe. Eat this hammer! *throw his hammer at Loki and crash through the snow*
*Loki: I... am... Loki, of Asgard, and I am... burdened with glorious purpose.
*Thor: *land on the snow and hold his hammer* You're finished Loki.
*Loki: *see the ice cracking and get up* You fight well Thor, but we'll meet again soon.
*Thor: Brothers always look out for each other. *see the ice crack and fall through the cliff as he hold Loki* Damn it. The world is breaking apart.
*Loki: Thor, I can't hold any longer.
*Thor: Save yourself!
*Loki: Then why are you holding me?!
*Thor: I'm holding you! Don't you see? *see the ice fall and hold on to the ice as Loki fall* Loki!
*Loki: Brother! *fall through the hole*
*Thor: No! *sigh* Forget it. I have to save my friends. Mjølnir! *hold on to the Mjølnir to fly with it*
(As Sif and the Warriors Three clash with the Frost Giants, Thor show up to throw his hammer to kill every Frost Giant as most of them flee away in battle)
*Laufey: You haven't seen the last of me you puny gods! *jump off the ice*
*Thor: *land on the ground* Yeah! It's feel so good to be alive.
*Sif: Thor, how did the battle went with your brother?
*Thor: I lost him. He fall in the end of the hole.
*Volstagg: We did it. We won.
*Fandral: You can really take down these ice beasts any time on Jotunheim.
*Thor: That's the best I can do to take down these warriors.
*Otto: *show up with the Minions* (Ya! We did it!)
*Kevin: (We saved the day!)
*Thor: Minions! You really can show how true of a warrior you can be. High five! *high five at the Minions* There you go.
*Hogun: Well deserved.
*Sif: The Frost Giants will be back, but they will always return with Loki.
*Thor: Loki is always up to no good. He's gonna return, no matter what and we got friends to help to beat up the God of Mischief.
*Hogun: Still gotta prepare for the next fight.
*Stuart: (It feel so good to be back in shape.)
*Bob: (Let's go home.)
*Thor: What a battle this is. What a classic Thor adventure. *hold his hammer up* Hurrah! *he and everyone warp with the Bifrost Bridge*
(Back at Asgard, Thor, the Minions and their friends teleported on the Bifrost Bridge back to the city as the Asgardians cheer for celebration after defeating Loki and the Frost Giants in Jotunheim)
*Odin: Welcome home once again my friends.
*Frigga: We heard of the fight. You finally defeated those Frost Giants to justice.
*Thor: Yeah. I feel like we lost Loki.
*Odin: Cheer up Odinson. He'll be back for you. If he want to challenge you again, you can have a rematch with the trickster.
*Sif: Way a go you guys. You rock the ground.
*Otto: (Woo!) *bump with the Minions*
*Kevin: (Good boy.)
*Stuart: (That's my boy.)
*Bob: (Da da daaaaaa!)
*Fandral: I like these little guys.
*Hogun: They crack me up.
*Volstagg: They're like the Flora colossus of their world.
*Hogun: Like in Planet X?
*Volstagg: Most likely yes.
*Odin: Minions, as you helped Thor save the day, I honor you your eternal reward. *grant the Minions with treasure.
*Otto: (Ooh la la. Treasure.) *kiss the treasure with the Minions*
*Heimdall: They're gonna love this reward as much as a token of granted gifts.
*Odin: Say, where are you from again?
*Otto: (We came from a lab where we worked with a boss we used to be a supervillain and now a father.)
*Odin: Ah. Now we're talking.
*Thor: What if we go to their world? That would be cool as going to planet Earth to see the human beings. *think* Hmm?
(Back on Earth in Gru's lab, the Minions are waiting for their friends to come back as Gru, Margo, Edith, Agnes and Dr. Nefario are waiting for them to come back while sitting and waiting)
*Gru: Oh! When are they gonna come back? How long have they been holding the hammer?
*Dr. Nefario: It been two hours since they got on Earth-616.
*Gru: Two hours?! D'oh! That's it. That's really it. I had enough. I can't stay here for another two hours by doing nothing when the Minions are suppose to grab the hammer they're looking for. They're in so much big trouble right now!
*Margo: Dad, you can't act like this when we're on a mission.
*Gru: Who cares. I'm going into my room and sleep for the night. Have a good day. *hear the sound of teleporting with the Minions coming back with the gods* What the...?
*Edith: Look, they're back!
*Agnes: And they brought the gods in?!
*Thor: Hey everybody. Sorry to interrupt. But are these your Minions?
*Sif: Holy Tic-Tacs. There's a whole bunch of them. *see the Minions cheer for her and the gods*
*Gru: Whaaaaaaatttttt?
*Dr. Nefario: The gods have spoken! They're real!
*Odin: Greetings all Minions! We have arrived from a visit and greeting from Asgard.
*Edith: So they're all Norse gods.
*Agnes: I thought they were all fictional characters like the cat book we read to Gru the other day.
*Gru: Don't move! Your agent has arrived.
*Thor: So this is the boss you work with Otto?
*Otto: (Yes! It's Gru the god!)
*Gru: Gru, the god?
*Otto: *giggle* (Excuse me.)
*Thor: We all got a god party here. Let's celebrate on Midgard!
(A party is held with the Asgardians talking to the Minions with the Minions performing many tricks to cheer the Asgardians with Thor and his friends and family drinking some banana smoothie with Gru and his team)
*Thor: Cheers for the gods! *cheers with everyone*
*Gru: Ah yeah. Banana juice. Who would love to make a delicious recipe like making a strawberry smoothie.
*Sif: This taste like beer juice to me. What it's called again?
*Dr. Nefario: That's a smoothie. It's what the Earthlings called on the smoothie shop.
*Thor: Hey, I like it. Another! *break his cup and shock everyone* Oops.
*Margo: You could have said it nicely.
*Thor: I did said it nicely.
*Edith: You're like breaking things. It's the third time you break a cup.
*Thor: My bad. *a Minion maid give another cup to Thor* Thank you Minion. *drink a smoothie* Not bad.
*Agnes: Don't.
*Thor: Ha. I'm not gonna break it.
*Gru: You really prove yourself to be the king of Asgard and god of thunder.
*Thor: It is the god of thunder it is. These Minions can learn how to join the Einherjar in battle. Am I right?
*Otto: *hold a sword* (Fear the god of thunder!)
*Thor: Ah. Now that's a battle cry I liked.
*Margo: Like standing up to your victims.
*Dr. Nefario: Is it possible to back down your friends.
*Thor: My brother betrayed me. I feel like a lost case, but I learned to move on and live to be the best prince on Asgard.
*Gru: One day Thor, you are going to be king. Being king is a lot of hard work.
*Thor: You'll be a great agent someday and you'll learn how to fight against other villains and bad guys around the world.
*Gru: I can always fight a giant bouncer and a ninja if I want to.
*Thor: The thunder has it all. Cheers for the banana gods!
(Everyone cheer for the Minions as they celebrate by eating bananas together as the Asgardians return to their world before wrapping up to end the day)
THE END
(Back on Jotunheim, Loki is seen laying down on the snow as Laufey show up to get him up with a serious talk)
*Laufey: So you failed to beat your brother, didn't you. *hold Loki up*
*Loki: I will always be back to pick a fight on a god.
*Laufey: We will return for a rematch. When Thor reaches our planet, we'll strike against Asgard and take over the whole Nine Realms.
*Loki: I will crusade those Asgardians and these childish Minions. As we made a deal, we'll promise to work on both sides and rule the universe by a single cost of a hand.
*Laufey: You know what's coming, Laufeyson. Asgard will be ours.
*Loki: There will be no more Asgardians and Minions left on the ground to assist. There will be dust and blood put into their faces.
*Laufey: After that, Midgard will be our next world to take over by uniting all powerful forces together on one planet.
*Loki: You'll never known when to quit. Also, we'll never give up on another battle before an upcoming war on the cosmos. *hand shake on Laufey*
THE REAL END
==Trivia==
*The short was released during the time the Despicable Me spin-off films Minions: The Rise of Gru and Thor: Love and Thunder came out in the same summer of 2022, apart from each other.
*The title is a pun of Thor: Love and Thunder which was also out the same year of 2022 as the release of the story.
Category:MarioFan65's Fanon Stuff
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Crossovers