It's Dad-urday/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "It's Dad-urday".
== ==
(Tiny Diamond is with Keith, Priscilla, and CJ Suki.)
Tiny Diamond: So there he was. My daddy had already been through four brunches, three baby showers, and a formal tea.
Keith, Priscilla, and CJ Suki: Wow!
Keith: Whoa!
Tiny Diamond: An average Troll would have called it a date, but not my daddy. He does deep, and with a 15 more parties!
Keith, Priscilla, and CJ Suki: Whoa!
Tiny Diamond: Big ups to my daddy! I love him deep! He can do anything! DADDY! (He blows a kiss and blows his airhorns. A big bell also rings.)
Keith: Yeah!
Priscilla and CJ Suki: Woo-hoo! (Poppy, Peppy, and Guy Diamond are watching.)
Poppy, Peppy, and Guy Diamond: Aw!
Peppy: Oh, Guy, it’s so sweet how much your son looks up to you. You really are his hero.
Guy Diamond: (chuckles) Well, there’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for that boy. Even permanently shave my eyebrows while only eating garbage-flavored cupcakes for the rest of time.
Poppy: Wow. You uh… you really thought that through.
Peppy:  You must be very excited to celebrate your first Dad-urday tomorrow.
Guy Diamond: (gasps) Wait. Dad-urday is tomorrow?
Tiny Diamond: Dad-urday? What’s that, Daddy?
Poppy: Ooh! You’ll love it, Tiny. It’s a special day for kids and dads to be together doing classic dad stuff.
Peppy: Like having a catch, chopping wood. Ooh! And telling dad jokes. (He and Poppy put on hats and make a curtain appear.)
Poppy: Hey, Dad, did you get a haircut?
Peppy: No! I got ‘em all cut! (He and his daughter laugh.)
Poppy: Ah, it’s just terrible!
Peppy: I know!
Tiny Diamond: Wow, Daddy! Are Queen Poppy and Queen Poppy’s daddy for real?! Do we get to do all that tomorrow, too?
Guy Diamond: Pfft. Of course! What kind of dad would I be if we didn’t celebrate Dad-urday? (He goes to his pod to tell Holly, Synth, Rhythm, and Blues he can’t celebrate Dad-urday.) I cannot celebrate Dad-urday!
All: Huh?
Guy Diamond: I am terrible at traditional dad activities. Fishing, building tree forts, wearing socks with sandals?! I can’t deny the world with these carbs! (We move closer to his carbs.)
Synth: Ho-ho! Someone didn’t skip like they.
Guy Diamond: It’s also outdoorsy and sweat-inducing. You guys know me. I like to be… pampered, observed… (sings) … mooooooore! (Songbirds appear and do his hair, clean his body, give him a white coat, and put him in a chair.) Ah! (The Songbirds put cucumbers over his eyes. He then gets up.) You see what I mean?!
Synth: Ooh! Easy, bro. Tiny’s gonna love Dad-urday. He thinks the world of you and what not. Ha-ha!
Guy Diamond: Exactly! Tiny thinks I can do anything.
Tiny Diamond: (From outside) My daddy can do anything! (He jumps in the air and does a glitter fart. The glitter forms the words “#1 Daddy”.)
Guy Diamond: But tomorrow, he’ll realize I can’t. And I just don’t my boy to lose his hero. (Holly, Synth, Rhythm, and Blues put their hands on his shoulders.)
All: Aw!
Synth: Poor boy!
Holly: Well, gee, Guy. Is there anythin’ we can do to help?
Guy Diamond: Yes! That’s why I called you here. If we work together, I believe we give Tiny the best Dad-urday ever! (The next day, Dad-urday starts.)
Poppy: Hey, it’s Dad-urday, Trolls! Let’s celebrate! (As we see some Troll fathers spending time with their children, Poppy and her father sing We Are You & Me.)
(Poppy and Peppy)
You and me
Me and you
Here together
Celebrating us on Dad-urday
Oh, yeah
We’re peas in a pod
We are crazy connected
And it’s more than just DNA
We are you and me
And we’re a family
And so we celebrate
Love is in the air
And so we raise our
Hair for Dad-urday
For Dad-urday (Later, Poppy and Peppy are relaxing in chairs on the beach while Guy and Tiny Diamond are relaxing near the water.)
Peppy: Look, Poppy. The lagoon just said “hello.” Didn’t you see it “wave”? Eh? (He and his daughter laugh.)
Poppy: You know there aren’t waves in the lagoon, right?
Peppy: Zing!
Tiny Diamond: (Through the megaphone) Check it out, everybody! Check it out! Daddy and me are gonna partake in our first Dad-urday activity, skipping stones. Show ‘em how it’s done, Daddy!
Guy Diamond: (chuckles nervously) You got it, Tiny! (He picks up a stone and looks at Holly hiding in a bush.)
Holly: Mm-hm. (She looks at Rhythm and Blues.) Mm-hm.
Rhythm and Blues: Mm-hm. (They stick their heads in the water and look at Synth.) Mm-hm.
Synth: Mm-hm.
Guy Diamond: Please work. Please work. (He throws the stone at the water, but it sinks instead of skipping.)
Tiny Diamond: Daddy? (Synth catches the stone and makes it skip farther.) Daddy!
Guy Diamond: You think that’s good? How about the double skip?! (He picks up two more stones and they skip on the water.)
Tiny Diamond: Yeah! Now skip this one, Daddy! (He uses his hair to pick up a large rock.)
Guy Diamond: Uh… (Under the water, Synth is catching is breath. Suddenly, he sees the rock sinking toward him.)
Synth: Aah! (Back at the party, Guy Diamond builds a big tree fort.)
Tiny Diamond: Good tree fort, Daddy! Real good!
Guy Diamond: Thanks, Tiny! Just finished using the thing to smooth out all the woods. (The camera moves up and we see that Rhythm and Blues has him as a puppet on strings. He then hammers the side of the fort.) And there’s a bait in here and watch this! (He paints the roof.)
Tiny Diamond: (Blowing his airhorns) DADDY! (Soon, Guy Diamond is cooking burgers on a barbeque while Tiny Diamond watches in a highchair.) Dang, Daddy! Best day barbeque!
Guy Diamond: Oh, you like that, eh, Tiny? Well, buckle up, ‘cause you ain’t seen nothing yet! (We can see that Holly is cooking the burgers for him. She flips them into a pile.) Ha-ha-ha!
Tiny Diamond: Whoo! We’re gonna need a bigger ketchup bottle! (He runs off to get a bigger ketchup bottle. Later, Guy Diamond is struggling to put ketchup on his burger. He soon gets it out and starts eating.) Now this is where it’s at. Spending my first Dad-urday with my hero. My daddy. D-A-D-D-Y.
Guy Diamond: Aw! (He and his son hug.)
Both: Much love. (Synth, Holly, Rhythm, and Blues are seen hiding in the bushes.)
All: Aw!
Synth: Cats, I help the expression of affection right there, bro!
Tiny Diamond: Wow, Daddy. I knew you had all that. But you’re even better at this dad stuff than I thought.
Guy Diamond: Well…
Tiny Diamond: In fact, you’re so good, we should sign you up for the Dad-Cathalon.
Guy Diamond: (laughs) Yeah! (He takes a bite form his burger and ketchup ends up on his face.) Wait, the what? (Meanwhile, Poppy is announcing the Dad-Cathalon.)
Poppy: The Dad-Cathalon! (Fireworks fire from flowers.) The Dad-urday tradition that tests the medal of only the most dad-venturous volunteers! (As the crowd cheers, she spins a wheel with a mountain, a tunnel, and a raft.) But which challenge will it be? Perhaps their dad will scale the towering Dad-erhorn?! (A goat falls from a branch on the mountain.) Or brave the dark and spooky Dadacombs?! (Smidge pulls a rock out of the way and ghosts come out of the tunnel.)
Ghost #1: So…
Ghost #2: … dad!
Poppy: Or will it be white-water rafting?! (A big wave smashes through a bridge.) Or dads? Hm. We should work that name. (The wheel stops on the raft.) It’s white-water rafting! Dads, to the starting line! (The Trolls cheer.)
Tiny Diamond: Ooh! My daddy wants in! Right, Daddy? (Guy Diamond becomes nervous.)
Guy Diamond: Uh… (Soon, the race is about to start. Poppy and her father are the hosts. The fathers that are competing are using their hair as boats.)
Poppy: (Through the microphone) And now the Dad-Catheletes ready for themselves at the starting line! (Guy Diamond becomes very nervous. Smidge cuts a rope and the race starts. A huge wave pushes the rafts ahead.) And they’re off! (Guy Diamond passes Holly, Synth, Rhythm, and Blues.)
Tiny Diamond: Yeah! Go, Daddy! Get ‘em! Get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em! (Guy Diamond whimpers in fear as the waves push him.)
Guy Diamond: Wha-? (He sees the other fathers going through the lazy river.) Ah! (Just before he reaches the lazy river, the wind blows him toward a deadly part of the river.) WHOOOOOOA! WHOOOOOOA!
Peppy: But the other dads steer toward the gentle curves of the lazy river. It appears Guy Diamond is rafting for the flaming whirlpool of doom! (laughs) Interesting strategy. (Guy Diamond yells as he goes through the deadly part of the river. He soon reaches the flaming whirlpool of doom. Holly, Synth, Rhythm, Blues, and Tiny Diamond watch in horror.)
Tiny Diamond: Hey, hey, hey! Daddy’s pretty freaked! What’s wrong with Daddy?! (Synth, Holly, Rhythm, and Blues whimper.)
Holly: Uh… Tiny… (chuckles nervously) The truth is… your daddy might not be quite as good at all this dad stuff as he was lettin’ on. (She and her friends run off to rescue Guy Diamond. He is getting closer to the center of the whirlpool.) Guy! (Guy Diamond misses the rock.)
Tiny Diamond: Daddy! Daddy’s friends already told me everything! You gotta get out of there!
Guy Diamond: But… this isn’t how this wanted it go, Tiny! You’re my little boy! And I want you to keep on believing I can do anything! So you don’t lose your hero!
Tiny Diamond: Lose my hero? Pfft. Oh, I already know there’s plenty of things you can’t do, Daddy.
Guy Diamond: Huh? You do?
Tiny Diamond: Uh… Yeah. Remember when you bult my bike? (He takes out his bike and it breaks.)
Guy Diamond: Oh.
Tiny Diamond: And I know you spray glitter on your bald spot. (His father notices his bald spot and sprays it.) And I also know that your calves ain’t real.
Guy Diamond: OK, that’s enough!
Tiny Diamond: But I don’t care about any of that. There’s only one reason you’re my hero, Daddy. Because you’re my daddy.
Guy Diamond: (With happy tears) Really? (He realizes he is still in the whirlpool.) Then what the hair am I doing in this canoe?! GET ME OUT OF HERE! (He is about to get sucked into the whirlpool.) WHOOOOOOOAAA!
Synth: Guy!
Holly: What do we do, y’all?! (Tiny Diamond sees a Songbird.)
Tiny Diamond: Be yourself, Daddy. Your pampered, fabulous self! (laughs)
Guy Diamond: Be myself? (laughs) YEEEEEAAAH! (Holly, Synth, Rhythm, and Blues gasp as more Songbirds appear. They save Guy Diamond by putting him on a chair and carry him away from the whirlpool. His friends cheer for him.)
Tiny Diamond: You did it, Daddy!
Guy Diamond: Yes. But this holiday has been a disaster. Sorry, Tiny. Maybe Dad-urday isn’t for us.
Tiny Diamond: Sure it is, Daddy! We just got to do it our way. (Soon, he and his father relax at the spa.) The Diamond way.
Guy Diamond: Ah. I’m so relaxed.
Peppy: Oh. Nice to meet you, So Relaxed. My name is Peppy. (He, Poppy, Guy, and Tiny Diamond laugh together.)
Poppy: Just the worst.
Peppy: (As the Songbirds carry him away) I know!
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