Eddie Van Blundht

Edward "Eddie" H. Van Blundht Jr. (played by ) was a janitor working for Dr. Alton Pugh in Martinsburg, West Virginia. He was a human mutant who possessed a bizarre amount of muscle tissue under the skin around his entire body, allowing him to alter his appearance at will, including more detailed aspects such as height, build, and voice, and was born with a tail, both being common genetic traits in his family.
== History ==
During high school, he dated Amanda Nelligan and the two of them frequently went to see Star Wars, as Nelligan was obsessed with the franchise. Van Blundht lived with his father, who was known as Eddie the Monkey Man in his prime and performed in a circus, a life Van Blundht didn't want and had his tail surgically removed in his teenage years against his father's wishes, a procedure that made the cover for an issue of Glimpse magazine titled "The Tale of a Tail". Upon the death of his father, Van Blundht preserved the body with quick-lime and kept the corpse in his attic so as not to stop drawing his father's old age pension. 
By 1997, Van Blundht worked at a fertility clinic where he often saw women frustrated with their husbands. Coupled with his insecurities concerning his "loser" lifestyle, Van Blundht took it upon himself to help them out by taking on their husbands' appearance and impregnating them. Thus, five children were born over three months with the distinctive tail. and were prompted to investigate after Amanda Nelligan, the only one who wasn't married, claimed the father of her daughter came from "another planet." The father was not, however, , but rather it was Van Blundht in the guise of Luke Skywalker from Star Wars. Mulder nabbed Van Blundht upon discovering the scar where his tail had been removed while he was working on a sink. Van Blundht was taken into custody and interrogated, denying any wrongdoing, but defended the acts as noble, believing that since the couples wanted children, but couldn't conceive, no actual crime had occured in his eyes. Scully suspected that Van Blundht had somehow secretly drugged the wives, a theory questioned by Mulder who pointed out that Eddie had no known contact with the victims outside of their visits to the clinic. Van Blundht then escaped while having his info recorded by taking the form of the attending sheriff's deputy and striking him over the head while he was in shock. Van Blundht would later speak to the agents at his home in the disguise of his father before being found out, although again eluding capture after shapeshifting into Fred Nieman, one of his neighbors. whose wife Baboo he had impregnated. and finding shelter in their house's bathroom. He is almost discovered when the real Fred arrives, but takes on Mulder's appearance and lies to the couple that he had pursued a suspect into the house, and confiscates one of Fred's suits to complete the FBI agent look for future uses. Meanwhile, during Scully and Mulder's search of the Van Blundht residence, the preserved body of Eddie Sr. is found.
Soon after, Van Blundht, still impersonating Mulder, visited Nelligan in the hospital to find out what her honest opinion on him was. She tells Van Blundht about how she and Eddie dated in high school, reaffirming that this had been a mistake in her view as she still thinks that he was a loser. "Mulder" gave her a rose and congratulated her on the birth of her daughter, which was especially confusing when the real Mulder showed up minutes later. Realizing Van Blundht was using his appearance, Mulder pursued him into the staff room of his workplace, tying up a security guard and Dr. Pugh under the false belief that either of them was Van Blundht, but is ambushed by him from the vents and imprisoned in the recesses of a maintenance room.
While still in Mulder's appearance, Van Blundht accompanied Scully back to Washington, D.C. to present their investigative report to . Skinner was not impressed with the report and unnerved that "Mulder" had misspelled "" twice. Nevertheless, Scully and Skinner were unaware that anything was otherwise amiss. Van Blundht began snooping around Mulder's office and came to the opinion that the man, while good-looking, was a nutcase. Things did not improve when Van Blundht arrived at Mulder's apartment and was greeted with telephone messages from and another of a more kinky nature, though disappointed that the woman on the other end, while sultry, was just a hotline operator. Determined to make the most of his situation, Van Blundht bought some wine and headed over to Scully's apartment.
Scully was surprised to see "Mulder" came for a casual visit for a change, as the two never actually talked. Nevertheless, he and Scully finished off the wine while exchanging stories. As Van Blundht moved in to kiss Scully, the real Mulder - having escaped his prison - burst in to discover them. Scully realized what was happening and quickly withdrew in shock (at having nearly kissed Van Blundht) and embarrassment (at having nearly given in to an unspoken attraction to Mulder). Van Blundht quickly dropped the disguised and surrendered himself to the authorities, whereupon he was committed to Cumberland Reformatory.
Mulder met Van Blundht one more time at the institution, where he was undergoing self-esteem therapy, including a cap labeled "Superstar!" that Van Blundht said other inmates would steal after beating him up. He is also regularly administered muscle relaxants, which inhibit his shape-shifting. Before Mulder left, Van Blundht said he was born a loser, but Fox had chosen to be one, and told him to live a little and enjoy life more.
Van Blundht was annoyed by constantly reminding people of the silent "h" in his last name.
== Trivia ==
* Van Blundht and his abilities are a loose take on the ancient Chinese literary figure Sun Wukong a.k.a. the Monkey King, both possessing prominent tails and shapeshifting powers.
== Appearances ==
* "Small Potatoes"
Van Blundht, Eddie
Category:Monster of the Week
Category:The X-Files characters
Category:Mutants