The Summoning

The Summoning is the thirty-first episode of Cult of Squid. It aired May 22nd, 2020 and was written by Purple133.
== Plot ==
Squidward decides to test the cult by summoning a demon for them to battle.
== Transcript ==
(Episode opens in the cult chambers where Brother Squidward is reading a book called “Demons”)
Squidward: Hey Noseward, it says here that we need lamb’s blood in order to make the spell to summon a demon. What the heck is a lamb?
Noseward: No clue. Do you know anybody who might have that very exotic sounding item?
Squidward: No.
Noseward: Okay cool, then we don’t need to summon a literal demon.
Squidward: You summoned two Norse gods a week ago, don’t act like this is any different. 
Noseward: I mean..
Squidward: Hush.
Noseward: Okay fine. 
Squidward: So I assume you’re wondering why I want to summon a demon?
Noseward: Because you’re insane?
Squidward: You have visions of a candy muffin and an ominous voice that tells you things you ignore. 
Noseward: STOP YOU KEEP HURTING MY FEELINGS!
Squidward: Well actually before we can summon this demon we need to collect some materials.
(Security enters the room without his cult robes)
Security: Oh hey guys.
Squidward: Security! Where are your robes?
Security: It's casual Friday!
Squidward: OH. I forgot that was today. 
Security: So anyways what are we doing?
Squidward: Can you stop by the remains of the Bargain Mart and see if you can find some land salt?
Security: Sure.
Squidward: And uh take Brother Ivan with you!
Security: But Brother Squidward, Brother Ivan is annoying-
Squidward: DO IT!
Security: Fine.
(Security wanders off)
Squidward: Noseward I need you to go fetch some coral bits, chunks of marble, and a bowl.
Noseward: Sure thing Brother Squidward!
Squidward: I’m going to go see if Doctor Crayons has some lamb’s blood.
(Security and Brother Ivan arrive at what’s left of the Bargain Mart)
Security: Brother Ivan see if you can find any land salt.
Brother Ivan: Just call me Comrade.
Security: Huh?
Ivan: I am sick of all this Squidward is in charge. I believe I should be in charge because I uphold a philosophy on life. I think that we should share what we have with the people while also maintaining a ruthless dictatorship over the remains of Bikini Bottom. I shall call this idea “communism” and it cannot fail!
Security: Just go get the salt.
(Ivan walks into the Bargain Mart)
Ivan: Hey Security I need a flashlight.
Security: Huh? Okay-
(Security brings Ivan a flashlight which he takes and smacks Security over the head with)
Security: What the h-
(Ivan smacks Security again)
Ivan: Time to loot this place for ammunition and take over the cult! 
(Cut to Squidward asking Doctor Crayons for lamb’s blood)
Doctor Crayons: You want what?
Squidward: Lamb’s blood.
Doctor Crayons: Yes I’m aware of the request but why do you want it?
Squidward: To summon a demon.
Doctor Crayons: You do understand how insane you sound right?
Squidward: No. Give me the lamb’s blood Doctor Crayons.
Doctor Crayons: *SIGH* fine.
(Doctor Crayons hands Squidward the lamb’s blood which he takes back to the bowl in the chamber where Noseward is sitting with all the other supplies)
Noseward: Got the stuff.
Squidward: Alright good. Where are Security and Brother Ivan?
(Cut to the Bargain Mart where Ivan has a loaded weapon and get on a bike)
Security: Stop!
Ivan: What are you going to do?
Security: Chase you down!
Ivan: Oh, okay.
(Ivan shoots Security in the knee)
Security: OW!
Ivan: See you later!
(Ivan heads toward the cult; cut to Squidward and Noseward)
Squidward: Oh wait Noseward I just remembered that we have land salt in the cult kitchen. Can you go fetch some?
Noseward: Sure thing. 
(Noseward goes and gets the salt)
Noseward: Remind me again why we’re doing this?
Squidward: To give the boys some training. Can you get some of our top cult soldiers in here?
Noseward: Sure thing.
(Noseward goes and grabs ten cult members including Buff Jim and Brother Abortion)
Brother Abortion: Hullo.
Buff Jim: Oh hey Brothers.
Brother Tesla: I hate my life.
Brother Abortion: Me too.
Brother Yunio: Howdy howdy howdy.
Squidward: GUYS SHUT UP! You’re here today to face off against a demon from Hell that I’m about to summon. Now no more interruptions.
(Brother Ivan kicks down the door with his gun)
Squidward: Ivan! Do you have any more land salt?
Ivan: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT I’M TAKING OVER!
(Squidward drops a pinch of land salt into the bowl and it starts to glow orange)
Ivan: What the heck is that?
Squidward: I’m summoning a demon for you guys to fight!
Ivan: Okay cool.
(Ivan starts firing his weapon but the demon emerges in a puff of black smoke and takes up residence in Ivan)
Demon: Ah yes, it’s been far too long since I’ve had possession of a mortal body.
Buff Jim: *chuckles* I can tell by the way he speaks.
Squidward: Ivan? You still there? Where’s Security?
Demon: Ivan isn’t here anymore. I’m Adoraxa. 
(Adoraxa makes Ivan’s head do a complete 180 and a snap is heard, then he flips his head back around)
Adoraxa: Now Ivan REALLY isn’t here anymore. Security seems to be bleeding somewhere. Ah that felt good. Haven’t had myself a good kill in CENTURIES. So why did you mortal sea creatures summon me?
Squidward: Well I wanted my boys to fight you.
Adoraxa: A challenge! Ah yes! Bring it on!
Squidward: Uh okay.
Noseward: Squidward are you sure this is the best id-
Squidward: Shush up Noseward. Brothers, attack!
(A couple of cult brothers start slashing at Adoraxa but the blades all shatter against the now deceased Ivan’s skin)
Adoraxa: You really have no idea how powerful I am do you?
(Adoraxa creates a whirlpool next to a cult brother, and the brother gets sucked in and shot into another brother)
Adoraxa: You see Squidward, you can’t stop me, you can’t stop him.
Squidward: HIT IT WITH EVERYTHING YOU GUYS GOT!
(Buff Jim tries punching Adoraxa but gets his fist broken, then he gets flicked back into the wall by Adoraxa)
Adoraxa: You do know how powerful demons are, right Squidward? 
(A couple more cult members attack Adoraxa but get slammed against the ground and shot back against the wall)
Adoraxa: Summon me again when you’re actually going to put up a fight, this is just boring.
(Adoraxa leaves Ivan’s corpse and disappears through a crack in the door)
Squidward: Okay so we need better weapons.
Security: *shows up at the door* That's an understatement.
Noseward: Where the heck are we going to get demon killing weapons from? 
Squidward: I have a person in mind. He’s an old friend, arms dealer who goes by the name of Zomp.
Noseward: Okay cool. Let’s go to him then.
Security: Can somebody please help me with my leg? I got shot by Ivan-
Squidward: Not now Security, we’re preparing for the final battle against Satan.
Security: Final battle? We couldn’t even face down one demon and now you want to face down an entire army?
Squidward: Yes. Let’s just do it and maybe change something. 
(Episode ends)
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