Stop the Nightmares of Terror/Transcript

(The episode starts with Candle Man and Mystic in a field of flowers. Mystic looks up at Candle Man.)
Mystic: Oh CM, you have got to be the best boyfriend a goddess like me could have. 
Candle Man: No, you are the perfect girlfriend anyone could wish for.
Mystic: Oh, CM, my darling. 
(The hand from the Krustyverse appears to take Mystic away from Candle Man and places her next to a none visible person.)
Candle Man: What the flip?!
Mystic: Oh, wait. I forgot. There was someone even better than you!
Hand: Yeah, why bother going for this loser instead of this hottie?
Mystic: Yeah, sorry, CM, but we are done. Goodbye!
Candle Man: You can’t leave me here alone! Mystic, come back! (Screaming.) MYSTIIIIIIICCC!
(It turns out to be just a nightmare from Candle Man, and he’s actually calling out Mystic’s name in his sleep. Teddy Mouse is nearby.)
Candle Man: MYSTIIIIIIIICCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Mystic is revealed to have been there the whole time.)
Mystic: What? (Realizes.) Oh, come on CM, wake up! It’s just a nightmare!
(Candle Man wakes up.)
Candle Man: Mystic? OH THANK GOODNESS YOU DIDN’T LEAVE ME!
Mystic: (Confused.) Why would I leave you? 
Candle Man: (Breaking down in tears.) Because I saw you be sucked into the Krustyverse and dump me for some “hottie”!
(Candle Man continues crying into his pillow, Mystic looking concerned.)
Mystic: Oh, come on CM, you were just suffering a nightmare.
Candle Man: Oh no… I always keep on having these kinds of nightmares!
Mystic: Hm…must be from that show we attended.
Candle Man: I don’t wanna be reminded of that stupid show! Attending that show almost cost us our relationship! Remember?
Mystic: Yeah! But it looks like you need some cheering up.
Candle Man: Nah, I’m gonna be fine…
Mystic:  I’ll take you to one of my favorite places.
Candle Man: Alright, fine. Especially if it's with my Mystical.
(Theme song plays. Scene fades to Candle Man and Mystic at the pool. Candle Man jumps in, and Mystic follows.)
Mystic: You were right, CM. The water’s perfect!
Candle Man: As perfect as you, my Mystical.
(Suddenly, a shark pops out of the pool drain, seemingly attacking Mystic.)
Candle Man: MYSTICAL, LOOK OUT!
Mystic: Why look out for my new boyfriend?
Candle Man: Look, a shar- wait, new boyfriend!?
(Mystic swims over to the shark.)
Mystic: I don’t need you anymore.
(The shark attacks Candle Man as the latter screams. Candle Man wakes up as it turns out to have been yet another dream.)
Candle Man: AHH! Can’t these stupid nightmares just stop?! Shouldn’t have attended Clash of Couples back then. 
(He looks down at the floor.)
Candle Man: Hey, wait a second. Why is the bucket full?
(Scene cuts to the kitchen. Everyone but Limefong is still woozy and sick from the night before. Candle Man trudges in.)
Limefong: Maybe I should help this time.
Shaduck: Dew...dew...dew...oh look, hill dew! (Drinks a cup of liquid.)
Mystic: That’s not-
(Shaduck throws up off-screen again.)
Limefong: And I don’t think I’m the only one that I need to help.
(Scene cuts to Candle Man, feeling better, in the passenger seat. Limefong is driving him somewhere.)
Candle Man: Where are we going?
Limefong: I arranged an appointment for you.
Candle Man: An appointment to what?
(They drive up to a therapy center.)
Candle Man: Pfft, I don’t need therapy!
Limefong: Do you want to stop the nightmares, or not?
Candle Man: (Sighs.) Okay, I’ll go.
(Limefong drops Candle Man off and drives away. Candle Man walks into the therapy center.)
Candle Man: Ugh. I don’t like this.
(He goes into the waiting room and checks in with the secretary.)
Megan: Hi there! Do you have an appointment?
Candle Man: Well, yeah… I happen to have some nightmares about me and Mystic breaki-
Megan: I’m not the therapist. But you should go right in. They’ve been expecting you.
Candle Man: Okay, who is the therapist?
Megan: Maybe you should go in and see for yourself.
(Candle Man goes in.)
Clash of Couples host: Hello there.
Candle Man: NOPE!
(Candle Man slams the door and walks into another room.)
TwoBrains: Hello there.
Candle Man: Much better. Also, what’s that response you’re always stressing over?
TwoBrains: Not the point. Tell me, what’s wrong?
Candle Man: Well…(His head growing big like Nicole in “The Pizza”.) I KEEP HAVING FLIPPING NIGHTMARES OVER A STUPID SHOW WE WERE ON!!!
TwoBrains: Clash of Couples?
Candle Man: Mhm. AND MYSTIC MADE IT WORSE WITH HER BOOZE IDEA!
TwoBrains: You’re not old enough to drink.
Candle Man: NOW YOU TELL ME!
(Someone pounds on the wall.)
Baghead: Do you mind?!
Candle Man: Whoops, sorry!
TwoBrains: I think the easiest way to make the nightmares stop is to let go of your fear that you and Mystic will break up.
Candle Man: But we could! I’ve already met one other person that wants to be her boyfriend. Why not two, or three, or THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE-
Baghead: SHUT UP!
Candle Man: YOU!!!
TwoBrains: Let’s think about it this way: does she like that other person?
Candle Man: At one point when he stole my life. But at the moment, no.
TwoBrains: Does she seem unhappy being with you?
Candle Man: Well, she said she drinks from stress.
TwoBrains: Is that because of you?
Candle Man: No. I believe it's from her troubling childhood. 
TwoBrains: Then what are you afraid of?
Candle Man: I’M AFRAID OF THE THOUGHT OF MYSTIC DUMPING ME, GOSH DARN IT! WHAT HAVE I BEEN WHINING ABOUT ALL DAY?!
Baghead: COULD YOU CRIKKING STOP?!
Candle Man: NO!!!
TwoBrains: Here’s my point in short: You’ll have to deal with these memories, but you can’t dwell on them. Mystic will not dump you. She is happy with you, and she doesn’t like anyone else that is trying to steal her from you.
Candle Man: Well… just because she doesn’t like anyone else… that doesn’t mean our relationship will never end. AND I DON’T WANT IT TO END! 
TwoBrains: Who knows? She’s not from this galaxy. She might outlive you!
Candle Man: Don’t talk about that!
TwoBrains: I’m just trying to say, if she breaks up with you, you shouldn’t be distraught over it. You have to move on. Relish the time you have with her, and maybe you’ll feel better knowing you two have a good relationship together.
Candle Man: Well, we do have a great relationship… wait… NO! I’m getting reminded even more!
TwoBrains: So you’re saying I haven’t done anything to install any shred of confidence in your paranoid self?
Candle Man: Well… you did try… you told me Mystic and I have a great relationship… Yes and no.
TwoBrains: (Sigh.) I’ve done all I can. And unless you can remove the memory from your brain somehow, I don’t see how you can just sit there and reject my experience with paranoid people.
Candle Man: Remove the memory… that’s it!
(He dashes out of the room.)
TwoBrains: HEY! YOU DIDN’T PAY! (Candle Man throws a wallet at her) ...well… can’t say anything about that.
(More pounding.)
Baghead: CAN’T YOU JUST LET ME DECODE MY CLIENT’S BRAIN IN PEACE?!
TwoBrains: Sorry!
(Cuts to Moose’s laboratory, where the latter laughs maniacally.)
Moose: It’s good that you came to me. Now, what is it that you want me to do?
Candle Man: I want you to erase the Clash of Couples memory from my brain!
Moose: That can be arranged. Any other memory you’d like me to remove?
Candle Man: Any dream I’ve had about me and Mystic breaking up.
Moose: Anything else?
Candle Man: No. Well, maybe the Chadder stuff.
Moose: Good. That’ll be a dollar and fourteen cents.
Candle Man: What?! You’re charging me?!
Moose: Yes, now pay up, chump.
Candle Man: Oops. Left my wallet at the therapy center… can I start a tab?
Moose: Ugh. Alright.
Candle Man: YES! (Hugs Moose.) Thank you!
Moose: You’ll still owe me money. Do you know what a tab is?
Candle Man: No, but it sounds good!
Moose: (Sighs.) Alright, let’s get this done.
(Candle Man lies down. Moose puts electrodes on Candle Man’s head.)
Candle Man: Are you sure this is safe?
(Moose puts a radioactivity suit on, and goggles underneath that.)
Moose: Mostly.
(Moose pulls down a switch. Electricity surges around the room. Candle Man screams. Moose looks on. Shows Candle Man’s brain, and zooms in on his memory. Memories from Candle Man’s War Story’s final battle, Baghead’s sewer run in “Kyber Crisis”, and him relaxing on the beach during the events of “The New Candle Friends” are shown in the background. Finally, memories from “Clash of Couples” and “Cheese Friends” are shown, then erased, followed by the opening dream in “Once More Dystopia”, the events in “Tough Love, Ya Cheese”, and the dreams shown previously in this very episode. Meanwhile, Candle Man screams. The machine buzzes loudly, but then stops with a “ding”. Candle Man takes off the electrodes.)
Moose: So, did the operation work?
Candle Man: …What operation?
Moose: YES! IT WORKED!
Candle Man: Why was I here again…?
Moose: No reason. Just go home.
(Cuts to him walking down the street.)
Candle Man: Wow! I feel so much better! I have no idea why I felt worse in the first place!
(He walks by Chadder.)
Chadder: Hey, Candle Man!
Candle Man: Hey, anonymous stranger! 
(He stops.)
Candle Man: Wait a sec...
Chadder: What?
(Candle Man stares Chadder in the face.)
Chadder: What are you doing?
Candle Man: You look familiar, but I don’t know where I’ve seen you before.
Chadder: Are you serious?
Candle Man: Hmm… yep!
(He continues walking down the street, Chadder frozen in confusion.)
Chadder: That was weird. 
(Cuts to the Candle House. Candle Man bursts in and happily sits on the couch.)
Candle Man: I don’t even know why I was unhappy earlier today! 
Mystic: So, did the therapy work?
Candle Man: What therapy?
Limefong: The session I took you to.
Candle Man: Hm, I don’t remember that. But… I don’t care!
(He turns on the TV. On it is a golden droid and a rolling blue trash can looking through a cave.)
Candle Man: Heh.
(Meanwhile, in the kitchen…)
Mystic: Did he erase his memory?
Shaduck: He’s not that stupid. He just erased the stuff regarding Clash of Couples!
Limefong: I don’t think he’s that stupid.
Candle Man: (Overhears it.) What’s a Clash of Couples? Eh, I don’t care.
(Fades to Candle Man and Mystic at the pool. They walk up to the snack shack.)
Candle Man: I’ll have a Citrusical.
Mystic: And I'll have some Chadder Chips!
Candle Man: What?
Mystic: I said I’ll have some cheddar chips.
Candle Man: Hmm.
(They sit on their pool chairs and eat their snacks. Music blares over the radio.)
Mystic: I didn’t know they played The Clash!
Candle Man: The what?
Mystic: The Crash. Haven’t you heard of them?
Candle Man: Uh, no.
(They look out onto the pool.)
Mystic: I’ll be right back. I need to go put on some breakup.
Candle Man: WHAT?!
Mystic: Makeup, CM.
Candle Man: But you don’t wear makeup!
Mystic: I was gonna put on some heat cream.
Candle Man: Sunscreen.
Mystic: That’s what it’s called? Whoever came up with that is pretty dump.
Candle Man: Dumb.
Mystic: That’s what I said. Dumb.
(She walks away.)
Candle Man: She sure has been saying weird stuff…
(Suddenly, the Clash of Couples host comes out over the radio.)
Clash of Couples host: That was a crazy episode last week! We had a breakup between a candle guy and a pill head, but they got back together! Anyway, tune in next week for-
(Candle Man turns off the radio.)
Candle Man: Strange, that sounds like me and Mystic.
(A wave from the pool is about to splash on him. Another Candle Man rides the wave.)
Second Candle Man: REMEMBER!
(Candle Man screams as the wave splashes on him. Candle Man wakes up.)
Candle Man: Whoah! That was a crazy dream. I wonder what it means.
(In the morning, Candle Man looks in the mailbox and finds a bill from Moose.)
Candle Man: “A dollar and fourteen cents for a memory erase?” Did I… erase my memory?
(Candle Man sits on his bed. The other three sit there with him.)
Candle Man: That explains the dream. I erased some memories!
Mystic: We can’t tell you which ones, though.
Candle Man: Why not?
Mystic: You were having bad dreams because of them.
Limefong: I sent you to some therapy, but that didn’t work, so you went to-
(The sound of Limefong’s voice drowns out as Candle Man hears TwoBrains’ words echo through his mind.)
TwoBrains: You’ll have to deal with these memories, you’ll have to deal with these memories, you’ll have to deal with these memories…
(Candle Man comes back to reality.)
Candle Man: I know what I have to do.
(Cuts to him going to Moose’s house.)
Moose: Have you come back to pay?
Candle Man: No. I want you to restore the memories you erased.
Moose: Really? I thought they caused you pain.
Candle Man: (Sighs.) I’ve decided to live with them. Take a leaf from TwoBrains’ book.
Moose: Alright, but that adds to your bill. 
(Candle Man puts the electrodes back on. Moose turns the machine back on, doing the same thing that happened the first time. In his mind, the memories are restored, one by one reappearing. The machine buzzes, then stops with a “ding”. Candle Man gets up.)
Moose: That’ll be two dollars and twenty-eight cents.
(Candle Man throws the money at him.)
Candle Man: I don’t care. I feel… good. Those nightmares… I don't think I’ll have another.
Moose: That’s good. Goodbye, Candle Man.
(Candle Man walks down the street slowly.)
Candle Man: I should be scared… but I’m not. I’m… happy. Maybe therapy is better than I thought.
(Chadder walks down the street.)
Chadder: Hey, Candle Ma-
(Candle Man punches him to the other side of the street. Fades to him and Mystic back on the beach.)
Mystic: I have my heat cream on!
Candle Man: Good.
(They eat their snacks as they watch the other people play in the pool.)
Mystic: So, CM, do you feel better?
Candle Man: Yup. Today is the first day of my new life.
Mystic: Cheers to that.
(They clink their snacks, the chip bag sticking to the Citrusical for a second before being pulled off. They eat their snacks and watch the pool shimmer. Cuts to Candle Man asleep in bed, tossing and turning while cuddling with Teddy Mouse. Slowly, a smile creeps onto his face. The episode ends.)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Candle Man & Friends
Category:Season 1