The One You've Been Waiting For

The One You've Been Waiting For is the forty-ninth episode of Cult of Squid and the sixth season premier. It released on June 26th, 2021 and was written by Purple133. 
== Plot ==
After saving the world, things go back to the way they used to be with one exception - Satan’s final “gift” which made Squidward the most wanted person in the entire ocean. Elsewhere, Noseward begins to experience new visions unlike anything before the Apocalypse.
== Transcript ==
(Episode begins exactly where the movie left off; Squidward is running away from Bikini Bottom)
Squidward: AahhhhhHhHhHhH!
Random Citizen: We’re just rebuilding, what are YOU doing back here?
Squidward: I well um-run!
(Squidward starts to run again; cut to the FF and cult remains walking into Bikini Bottom)
Noseward: Hey wait, is this place being rebuilt?
(A random fish walks up to Noseward)
Random Fish: Yeah yeah, we just started to rebuild.  
Noseward: Well that’s pretty cool if I’m being honest.
Security: Yeah!!
Random Fish: Hey wait weren’t you the guys who helped take over the ocean?
Noseward: Oh no that was my twin brother ummmm Armward.
Random Fish: Armward?
Noseward: Yeah.
Random Fish: Oh that’s real funny because Armward is right here with us.
Armward: MY LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER NOSEWARD IS THAT YOU?
Noseward: Oh no-
Armward: HI NOSEWARD! I HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE BIRTH!
Noseward: What’s going on-
(Cut to Squidward somewhere in Bikini Bottom)
Squidward: Is there anywhere I can go and be safe? Stupid Satan. He didn’t have to do this! Well I guess maybe he did because he’s evil and all but still, this is just annoying. 
(Squidward reaches the outskirts of Bikini Bottom and see’s Squilliam’s house)
Squidward: Oh wait, that's still standing? 
(Squidward walks up to Squilliam’s house)
Squidward: (snickers) anybody home?
Squilliam: (walks up behind Squidward) uhhhhhh hello??
Squidward: OH-
Squilliam: Sq-SQUIDWARD?!
Squidward: Oh hi Squilliam! Random question, weren’t you dead?
Squilliam: I mean no. After you guys kinda left me to die at the hands of demons I came back here.
Squidward: So you’ve just been here the entire time?
Squilliam: Basically yeah. I’ve built a very, very fortified base here. 
Squidward: What about the apocalypse and demon onslaughts and Satan?
Squilliam: I everything-proofed my house Squiddy. Humans, demons, Satan, vengeful spirits, angels, monsters, nothing can get in.
Squidward: Wait wait wait, angels?
Squilliam: Yeah, angels. And monsters too.
Squidward: Well the monster part doesn’t surprise me but ANGELS?
Squilliam: Yeah, long story.
Squidward: I’ve got time. Wait, you don’t hate me enough to want to kill me right now?
Squilliam: After what I’ve been through, no. 
Squidward: Okay, so what happened?
(Cut to the other Cultists and Feathered Friends asleep at the Krusty Krab; Noseward turns on his side and then enters a vision)
Noseward: wait what? Where the- no not again!
Candy Muffin: WELCOME BACK NOSEWARD!
Noseward: Oh okay thank god. 
(The Candy Muffin gets obliterated when a fireball hits the ground)
Noseward: NOOOOO!!
(A blinding light emerges from the fireball and takes the form of a winged squid, then comes up to Noseward)
Noseward: What in Davey Jones’ Locker are YOU?
Creature: Remember. 
(The creature touches Noseward’s forehead and he suddenly breaks free of the spell left behind by Satan)
Noseward: I remember it all.
(Noseward wakes up)
Noseward: AH HEY GUYS!
SpongeBob: Noseward it’s 3 in the morning what do you want-
Noseward: I had another vision!
SpongeBob: What?
Noseward: I don’t know but some creature just kind of arrived and helped me remember what happened!
SpongeBob: What are you talking about Noseward? Remember what?
Noseward: Brother Squidward! 
Security: Don’t use that name around here. We have to destroy “Brother Squidward” , remember? He helped Satan!
Noseward: No no no, it’s all a lie! Satan used his power to trick us into believing Squidward was our enemy, but he was our friend!
Security: Noseward are you a Squidward sympathizer?
Noseward: YES! AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO! REMEMBER!
(Noseward touches Security’s forehead and nothing happens)
Security: Noseward I think you should leave.
Noseward: What? Guys!
SpongeBob: Security’s right. We can’t have a Squidward sympathizer on our side! 
Noseward: Okay fine. 
(Noseward runs out of the Krusty Krab; cut to Squidward and Squilliam sitting down and having a conversation in Squilliam’s living room)
Squilliam: So where do I begin?
Squidward: Squilliam it’s only been a few days since we lost track of you, how did you have a life changing journey?
Squilliam: Well Squiddy, it’s simple. I died.
Squidward: Wait what?
Squilliam: Yeah, after the whole possession thing and getting left behind I tried to fight some demons but got horribly killed.
Squidward: But you’re here?
Squilliam: Yeah. I went to this weird dark place with a bunch of scary looking skeleton deities and Richard Nixon and they said I was going to Hell. For ya know, harboring Satan.
Squidward: So you went to Hell?
Squilliam: Yeah. I went to Hell. Time passes much slower there. Four days up here on Earth is like a year down in Hell. But something happened. The hellish sky cracked open, and a being of light came down and pulled me from Hell. It said there was a plan for me, and then I woke up back here. 
Squidward: What do you think that means?
Squilliam: I don’t know what to make of it. It hasn’t returned, and I don’t really know what the plan it had was. But maybe this is part of it? 
Squidward: A being of light. So like an angel?
Squilliam: That’s what I assumed. Anyways, it also left me with a book.
Squidward: What book?
Squilliam: It’s called the “Book of the Damned”. 
Squidward: Sounds weird.
Squilliam: Well the first few pages had all of this warding, so I put that up fast so nothing can kill me again.
Squidward: Did you read any further?
Squilliam: That’s all I could figure out on my own. There wasn’t really any English, it was just a ton of symbols I’ve never seen before. 
Squidward: Maybe it’s angel talk or something. I don’t know what angels speak. But angels? They’re real? That’s hard to believe.
Squilliam: Something pulled me from Hell itself Squidward, I think it’s safe to say at least some divine beings exist. 
Squidward: Yeah, maybe it isn’t all darkness. Who knows.
Squilliam: I know. 
Squidward: So what now?
Squilliam: I think that we need to wait for some more divine intervention.
(A mob can be heard approaching)
Squidward: OH CARP!
Squilliam: NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR SOME INTERVENTION! 
(Nothing happens)
Squidward: Welp. Do you have any weapons here?
Random Fish: THERE HE IS! AND HE HAS A BUDDY! 
Squilliam: I have some golf clubs upstairs.
Squidward: Any real weapons? 
Squilliam: No. I’m a pacifist!
Squidward: Since when?
Squilliam: Since I ya know, DIED?!
Squidward: Oh yeah. Well there’s no way we fight all of these guys off. 
Squilliam: If we get the golf clubs we might be able to fight our way back down to my secret exit.
Squidward: Secret exit?
Squilliam: Quick! Follow me!
(Squilliam and Squidward rush upstairs and each grab a golf club)
Squidward: Doesn’t this seem a little primitive?
Squilliam: yeah, but we need to survive somehow. Believe me, you don’t want to know what I saw in Hell.
Squidward: Oh ok. Didn’t you just say you’re a pacifist?
Squilliam: Yeah, well I don’t think it matters anymore.
(Squilliam and Squidward dart down the stairs as Squilliam’s door breaks open)
Random Fish 1: GET THEM!
Random Fish 2: WE’LL REBUILD BIKINI BOTTOM ON THE BLOOD OF SQUIDWARD!
Random Fish 3: LETS SACRIFICE THEM!
Random Fish 1: Wait what-
Random Fish 4: KILL THEM!
Squilliam: Squidward over here!
(Squilliam kicks the rug away from in front of the couch to reveal a secret door)
Squilliam: If we get down there this tunnel will take us to a remote location in Rock Bottom. Let’s go!
(Squilliam and Squidward hop into the tunnel and begin to sprint as more angry mob members pour into Squilliam’s house; The FF and old cultists nix Noseward arrive)
Krabs: LETS GET SOME FRIED CALAMARI!
Plankton: Eugene that’s a little extreme.
Krabs: Squidward helped Satan wipe out my komrades! We have to destroy him!
(Squilliam and Squidward are sprinting down the tunnel when Squilliam stops)
Squidward: What are you doing? They’re gonna catch us?
Squilliam: Just me, not you.
Squidward: What?
Squilliam: I was brought back to life for a reason. I see now that you regaining some sense of normality with the cult, your friends, is going to help restore the world.
Squidward: Squilliam what are you going on about?
Squilliam: I’m saying that I think we’ve all been chosen to serve a higher purpose. That what you and the other buddies you’ve made along the way does is going to have some profound effect on the fate of the entire ocean, and that you need to survive so it happens.
Squidward: What makes you think that?
Squilliam: Satan himself put a curse on you Squidward, he doesn’t just do that because somebody pissed him off. He must’ve known that you were going to serve a greater purpose in the grand scheme of things, but probably didn’t account for this.
Squidward: And what’s this?
Squilliam: Take five steps back. Turn around. Run like HELL. And when you get to Rock Bottom, you’ll have to figure out something from there. Here, take this with you.
(Squilliam hands Squidward the Book of the Damned)
Squidward: The Book of the Damned?
Squilliam: GO!
(Squidward turns and starts running)
Random Fish 1: THERE HE IS!
Random Female Fish: KILL HIM!
(The mob sprints down the tunnel when they see Squilliam but he pulls a rock off the wall to reveal a button; more rocks fall revealing the entire tunnel up to that point is lined with some type of gas)
Squilliam: See you when we wake up!
SpongeBob: What?
(Squilliam slams the button and the trapdoor closes itself shut and gas begins to seep in from all sides)
SpongeBob: You’re CRAZY! Why are you helping HIM?
Krabs: You idiot, you’re going to kill yourself too!
Squilliam: It’s just going to-
(Squilliam falls unconscious followed by the entire mob; cut to Squidward making it to the end of the tunnel)
Squidward: Hey wait didn’t everyone here hate me before Satan’s curse?
(A mysterious figure enters the tunnel but Squidward can’t see who it is)
Squidward: Hello?
Figure: Hey Squidward. Let’s say we make a deal.
Squidward: Who are you?
Figure: I help you break the curse, and you allow me to keep the Book of the Damned.
Squidward: Uh hello, I asked you a question.
(The figure emerges from the shadow and it’s Zomp)
Squidward: Why do you always do that man?
Zomp: Do we have a deal or not, Squidward?
Squidward: Sure, why not. Not like I have anywhere else to go.
Zomp: Awesome. Let’s get cracking!
(Episode ends with Squidward handing Zomp the Book of the Damned)
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