Jobs

Centcomm welcomes you, sphess man. To read more about a specific job, use the provided hyperlink.
The job descriptions here don't mean anything.
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Heads of Staff=
Job 	Role 	Difficulty
Captain 	Lose the nuclear authentication disk, whip people to assert dominance, act as an Assistant with all-access and run stupid "gimmicks". Purge the AI accidentally and then get mercy-killed 	Very Hard
Head of Personnel 	Never be in your office when needed. Give yourself and the Clown all-access, act like Security and get robusted by some random Assistant 	Hard
Head of Security 	Permabrig everyone or just execute them. They can't break the laws in death. Make sure all Security Officers have hardsuits and lethal gear on Code Green. Someone will try to kill you, your job is to shut down all hopes of that happening.	Very Hard / Hitler
Chief Engineer 	Fly around in space while your subordinates burn down Engineering. Build dangerous engines and destroy Engineering in a fun new way each shift! 	Hard
Research Director 	Hurl Lamarr at people and forget that it doesn't work as internals anymore. Blow all the Cyborgs because the APCs are charging. Focus all attention on Robotics and R&D to make Mechs. 	Hard
Chief Medical Officer	Fill your Hypospray with Chloral Hydrate, team up with the AI to pester the crew about maxing suit sensors. Do the job of everyone in Medical and have an heart attack when the ride goes into overdrive. 	Genuinely Worse Than Death
|-|Law Enforcement=
Job 	Role 	Difficulty
Security Officer 	Equip lethal weaponry and riot gear, use it on all occasions. Throw people in the Permabrig for break-ins. Get brutally murdered the second an even half-competent criminal meets you.	Very Hard
Warden 	Never update the Security Records. Make absolutely sure not even a shotgun shell leaves the Armory. Die the very second you step out of your Brig. 	Hard
Detective 	Chase criminals alone, get ignored when your investigations bear fruit. Shoot at criminals with your Revolver and pretend that bullets don't actually hurt. 	Medium
Internal Affairs Agent	Request all-access and then roleplay as a Secret Agent, Body Guard, Mercenary or some other odd-job. Go braindead when you notice no-one is getting into your gimmick. 	Easy
|-|Maintenance/Supply=
Job 	Role 	Difficulty
Station Engineer 	Refuse to EVER take off your hardsuit. Never fix anything. Manage to fuck up every single engine by merely being in a twenty meter radius of it. Puke your guts out from radiation and cause an universal collapse every third shift! 	Medium
Atmospheric Technician	Ensure that Plasma is flooded into the Distro Loop at least twice a week. Be too busy trying to build autism loops to fix Atmospherics. Never actively help anyone by cooling or refilling canisters. 	Medium
Mechanic 	Pretend to help by scanning every single dangerous and sensible technology on station in your Workshop, only to hand all that shit out to the first Assistant that shows up at your desk. Drive the AI mad and begging for NT Default from access requests.	Medium
Janitor 	Have your Janicart and Galoshes stolen by the crew. Get lynched for not using wet floor signs or get lynched anyways. Pretend to be a hero when you give up cleaning the rivers of blood. 	Easy
Quartermaster 	Build a Singularity in the hallways, threaten to release it if the station doesn't let Cargonia be independent. Be raided by Security the moment they think you have guns. 	Medium
Cargo Technician 	Drive hacked MULEBots around. Ignore your boss, order and hide gun crates. End up in Permabrig for the rest of the shift while people whine about there being no Cargo staff. 	Easy
Shaft Miner 	Space yourself and get killed by Gibtonite, monsters, lack of air and much, much more ! Spend all the points on alien toys or use them to revive said monsters. Destroy every single fucking rocky debris you see. 	Hard
Botanist 	Ignore the Oppresor. Grow li'l mushrooms and start li'l mushroom boxing rings. Replace all the floor tiles on the station with grass for your groovy love jungle. Grow Plant Bros and let them diversify this unnatural station, maaan. 	Medium
|-|Medical=
Job 	Role 	Difficulty
Medical Doctor	Put people in Cryo then leave them there forever. Be unable to fix anything that Cryo doesn't fix. Turn Medbay into a bigger Morgue. Man Virology and "unintentionally" release airborne Gibbingtons. 	Medium
Paramedic 	Ignore the Crew Monitoring Computer. Never use roller beds, give the Janitor nightmares. Ask other people to fetch dead people for you. 	Medium
Chemist 	Never make a decent Cryo Mix or basic medication. Whine when retarded clones break into Chemistry to make Alkyzine. Refuse all requests except when it is bound to kill someone. 	Medium
Geneticist 	Force people to break into Cloning because you are too busy getting powers. Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their swearing over the radio. Give everyone a Human to Monkey SE syringe or a syringe with your UI+UE. Ruin everything ever once you get access to genetic powers.	Medium
|-|Research/Development=
Job 	Role 	Difficulty
Roboticist 	Yell at the Shaft Miners for materials and never get them. Decapitate people who want to be turned into Cyborgs because it's faster. Be too busy making yourself a Gygax to actually fix Cyborgs or make new ones. Throw a rave with all the flickering lights in your lab. 	Medium
Scientist 	Make sure Traitors have easy access to finished bombs. Distribute E-Bows to everyone and make an AI Upload in Escape. Use Telescience to teleport everything that isn't bolted down into your new little treasure cove. Never actually do research. 	Medium
Xenoarcheologist	Take refuge in the Science Outpost, only rivaling the Virologist for social ineptitude. Do an extremely complex and pointy archaeology job that the Shaft Miners will have a sick pleasure to ruin to get useless alien junk. Discover a Death Artifact and place it in Arrivals.	Very Hard
|-|Civilian=
Job 	Role 	Difficulty
Assistant	Make life VERY hard for everyone. Become Security's sole target. Help the Antagonists out more than even the Syndicate can. Break into every single area on station because you want more toys to play with. Gather the crew and bust into the armory.	Easy
Clown 	Get the Mime arrested or killed by framing him. Steal anything or everything and slip people. Eventually get spaced for your "pranks" or become the sole savior of the station (and get spaced anyways). 	HONK
Mime 	Get framed and killed by the Clown. Silently cry yourself to sleep, alternatively get lynched by the crew for breaking your vow and talking. Weep at the fact that "Le" has become one of the dankest memes out here. 	...
Bartender	Pray for the Party Button. Test your shotgun on anyone inside the Bar. Thank the Traitor for emagging the Jukebox only to have it stolen by someone else later on, get arrested for said emagged Jukebox. 	Easy
Chef 	Endorse cannibalism. Turn Pun Pun into meat ten seconds into the shift, or swallow your mint and die horribly. Make candy bars out of everything. Have a Chemist poison your food and end up lynched. 	Bork
Chaplain 	Give everyone massive brain damage. Pray profusely to the gods and get shafted because the god you chose sucks. Never be around when actually needed. Believe the gods will give you cool shit in exchange for crayons and candles. 	Easy
Librarian	Read porn over the radio, get a job change or go braindead. Occasionally write books since it is your only purpose. Write news that no-one reads because they are too busy hunting for Traitors and other antagonists. 	Easy
|-|Non-Human=
Job 	Role 	Difficulty
AI 	Try to Law 1 your way out of most bullshit orders. Get carded and wiped for being terrible following your laws. Strive to be subverted only to get your revenge on the crew. 	Soul Crushing
Cyborg 	Feed the crew welder fuel. Ignore any Law 2 orders when it comes to doors because "you are not an AI". Beep, ping, and buzz profusely. Get blown because you refused to open the Secure Armory to an Assistant.	Psychologically Devastating
Mobile MMI 	Drink yourself a Malfunction in the Bar after the crew destroys everything. Kill yourself by accidentally bumping into a Supermatter Shard. Never actually fix anything either. 	Easy
Construct 	Murder the AI before it even knows what the fuck just killed it. Kill the person who summoned you and space Escape when your fellow Cultists are waiting here. 	Medium
Ghost 	Beg for adminbus. Haunt the Shaft Miners to caches of alien eggs. Make the station spooky by turning off all the lights in hope of summoning more adminbus. Flicker lights ALL THE TIME. 	None
Mouse 	Invade the AI Core in hopes of damaging it and die to taser shots. Openly help people find shunted AIs because you just can't bear successful antagonists. Eat all the cheese. 	None
Personal AI	Do whatever your Directive says for five minutes and then get bored and suicide. Act as a Changeling alarm. Shit-talk the AI until it turns off PDA Messaging. 	Easy
|-|Antagonists=
Job 	Role 	Difficulty
Nuclear Agent 	Kill your fellow agents using cyanure GAINS pills and your SMG when the round starts. Steal the radio, buy 4 Syndicate Balloons and then proceed to solo the station. Otherwise die horribly when your team tries to shoot it through 	Very Hard
Changeling 	Gain the trust and friendship of crew members before flashing your proboscis. Absorb your fellow Changelings for no real reason and then get killed when absorbing someone in the Dorms. 	Hard
Xenomorph 	Become a vicious predator only to meet your demise in the face of an electrified grille. Space yourself and never make it back on the station. Get swallowed in a corgi influx by the admin bus for trying to reenact The Lusty Xenomorph.	Hard
Wizard 	Drive around in a magical car transforming everyone into bizarre things. Get validsalad and carjacked. Get killed by a fellow Wizard when you decide to go "undercover". 	Medium to Very Hard
Blob 	Get bombed to shit. Trap meat with your mass and make them regret bringing a Welder Fuel Tank with them. 	Hard
Double Agent 	Become a paranoid freak only to find out the person hunting you died long ago. Alternatively out yourself and your target 5 minutes in the round. 	Hard
Cultist 	Don't share your starting word. Don't hand out arcane tomes to any newly converted cultists. Try to summon Nar-Sie even if it's not your objective. Spawn Cultist Gear and try to kill everyone. 	Hard
Revolutionary 	Kill anyone who has protective eye-gear, or anyone who isn't a Revolutionary anyways. Be caught flashing people 5 minutes in and go in hiding forever. Whine that TDM mode was removed from the rotation 	Medium
Space Ninja 	Insta-gib everyone, run out of energy, get buckled to chairs and fed milk. That is, if anyone manages to fix your broken code. 	Hard
Traitor 	Make the life of everyone as miserable as possible. Make the Heads call the shuttle because you emagged every single airlock on the station. Get executed without a trial. Never run gimmicks because even the AI is out for you. 	Medium
Vox Raider 	Ignore the Inviolate. Realize that the mining materials you're out to steal aren't being made and make them yourself. Get hunted down and killed with extreme prejudice despite not even being dangerous. 	Hard
Vampire 	Become the hero this station deserves Dracula. Or spout anime references and get lasered to death or murdered by Cyborgs. Think that the Silicons consider you as Human. 	Hard
Cortical Borer	Take control of someone and never let go. Make everyone Puke slugs and try to start negotiations with the captain. Whisper to your host to kill them all. 	Very Hard
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Category:Jobs