Hair Toning Things or Pests/transcript

Previous Episode: Heroes and Villains vs. Frank and The Big Supervillains
Next Episode: Computer Overload
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: June 5, 2004
Episode Copyrighted: 2004
This episode is rated TV-PG-L.
It starts with Lincoln in the bathroom with his bathrobe on, then he applies shampoo on his hair and cleans it, he finishes; Leni then gets out of the shower with a towel around her body.
Leni Loud: Hey, Lincoln. Are you putting a Shamwow in your hair?
Lincoln Loud: Uh-huh. It's been dirty for a while, even if my hair is white.
Leni Loud: No worries, Linky, your hair is unique and I still love it. *rubs Lincoln's head and leaves*
Patrick Star: Okay, SpongeBob! It's your turn! I'm ready!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, Patrick! Here I come!
Lincoln Loud: Me too!
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *runs and leaps over Patrick*
Patrick Star: Nice landing! *rolls, leaps and lands on his head and hands* Darn, I missed! SpongeBob, Lincoln, look out for my body!
They both fall off a mountain and land on a nest.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, maybe we should play something that involves less thinking.
Patrick Star: Okay.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey! Maybe we can play a game with this ball that was buried under here!
Patrick Star: Ball! Let me see it!
A ball turns itself into a worm.
Lincoln Loud: What a weird ball.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, who knows how long it... Ah! Mother of Neptune!
Yellow Rectangle: *screams* Aaaahhhh! Get away from me! Get away from me!
Patrick Star: There's nothing to be afraid of, Yellow. It's just a little worm. See?
Yellow Rectangle: You're right, Patrick. I'm sorry we destroyed your nest, little worm. I promise it won't happen again.
The worm rubs its head on Yellow's hand* Look, Patrick!
Patrick Star: Looks like he's taking a fancy to you.
Lincoln Loud: Yeah. Hey! Why don't we invite Mr. Wormsley to stay at our place? At least until his nest grows back *points to my hair* and it's my white hair.
Patrick Star: That sounds delightful! 
They went to their respective rooms and changed into their regular clothes, Lincoln went downstairs, as Leni follows, they went to the living room to meet the others in the living room.
Luna Loud: Hey Linc, wanna join us?
Lori Loud: Room for one more.
Luan Loud: We're watching the T.V.!
Leni Loud: *sits next to Luna*
Lincoln Loud *sits next to Leni*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow and Red Rectangle: *stands behind Lincoln, Leni and Luna*
They watch a commercial on hair care products.
TV Announcer: Buy these hair care products and your hair will be better, and not white. If you have white hair, you are a freak of nature!
Hearing that confuses Lincoln. as his hair is white himself, the heroes stare at him.
Lori Loud: I do wonder, how come your hair is white?
Lincoln Loud: I don't know, it could've been a birth defect or something.
Patrick Star: Or you could be an albino.
Leni Loud: What's an albino?
Patrick Star: Albinism is a genetic worm disease that causes the pigment to be white.
Lynn Loud Jr.: *annoyed* In English, Lisa.
Patrick Star: *angrily, to Lynn* Hey, that was English.
Lori Loud: Ah, so that's how. I thought being adopted was the truth.
Lincoln Loud: No, that was a dark family secret. I wonder to myself what would happen if my hair isn't white.
Luan Loud: I would guess absolutely nothing would change.
Lincoln Loud: *stands up* Well, 5 of you have blond hair, 4 of you have brunette, or brown hair, and only 1 of you have black hair. And I'm the only one with white hair.
Yellow Rectangle: Actually, I don't have hair.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I don't either.
Patrick Star: Me too.
Red Rectangle: Me three. Squidward doesn't have hair. Mr. Krabs has brown standing hair on top for his eyes.
Yellow Rectangle: Some people don't have hairs but humans do.
Lola Loud: Oh, that makes sense. Hey, Lucy, how is your hair black?
Lucy Loud: Well, the reason is...
Leni Loud: So, Lincoln, have you ever considered dying your hair one of ours? - Leni ask
Lucy Loud: Oh come on! I didn't finish!!!
Lincoln Loud: Maybe...
Luan Loud: I mean, his hair looks weird.
Lincoln Loud: Your face looks weird.
Lynn Loud Jr.: *grabs Lincoln* Okay, let's dye your hair brown.
Lana Loud: *grabs Lincoln too* No, we're dying his hair blond.
Lucy Loud: *takes Lincoln* No, I'm dying his hair black.
The three keep pulling Lincoln.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *breaks them up* Stop! How about this, each of us will dye his hair one of our colors for one day each?
Everyone agrees to that.
Lincoln Loud: *sighs in agony* Okay, I'll give it a go.
Everyone cheers in excitement for this, as they run upstairs.
Lincoln Loud: *to the viewers* I hope this can be a good change for my hair.
Slide transition cuts to the scene where SpongeBob, Patrick, Yellow, Red, Lincoln and Leni arrive at SpongeBob's place.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Gary! *knocks the door* Make yourself decent. *laughs* You have a visitor.
Gary went to sleep.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Gary, wake up. *opens the door and whispers* That's right, just bring in here. Careful, careful now. That's right.
Gary the Snail: *wakes up* Meow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, hi, Gary, are you ready to meet your new friend?
Gary the Snail: Meow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: That's right, say hello to Mr. Wormsley. *shows Mr. Wormsley*
Gary hissed at him
Mr. Wormsley: *barks at him*
They start to growl at each other.
Leni Loud: Something tells me they don't like each other.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Come on, now. Guys, come on. Let's touch soft spots in a friendly manner. See?
Lincoln Loud: You're just saying hi. That's right. There you go, that's it. Oh, I knew you could get along. There, there you go. See? Friends.
Gary the Snail: *attacks Lincoln*
Yellow Rectangle: Gah!
Red Rectangle: Oh no! Lincoln!
Lincoln Loud: Oh, my gosh! Leni, oh! Oh, Leni, please do something! *screams*
Leni Loud: Uh, Lincoln, I gotta get going. See you later now.
Lincoln Loud: Okay, Leni, see you later then. *continues screaming*
Patrick Star: Tartar sauce!
Time card reading "The Next Day"
French Narrator: The next day.
Lincoln is sleeping peacefully in his bed, he wakes up and finds the blonde hair sisters in his room, smiling at him, he yelps.
Leni Loud: Morning, sleepy head!
Lincoln Loud: *shocked* What are you guys doing here?!
Lori Loud: Well, we wanted you to dye your hair blond, Lincoln.
The blondes all take their brother to the bathroom and hand him hair dye, he sighs.
Time card reading "15 to 20 Minutes Later"
French Narrator: 15 to 20 minutes later.
The blondes are all waiting, Lincoln comes, his hair is dyed blond, the other blond sisters gather around him.
Lori Loud: Hey, your hair look literally amazing, Lincoln.
Leni Loud: *nicely* You look totes cute as a blonde, Linky!
Lana Loud: You do look really amazing.
Lola Loud: As a blonde, Lincoln.
Lily Loud: Poo-Poo.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): Thanks, girls.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sees Lincoln's blonde hair* Ooohhh. Lincoln, your hair is the same color as my skin is yellow.
Yellow Rectangle: *sees Lincoln's blonde hair, to Lincoln* Your hair is the same color as my skin is yellow too.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Yellow Rectangle: *joins Lincoln, Lori, Leni, Lana, Lola and Lily*
Lola handed Lincoln her hand mirror and looked at it, he smiled.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): So, what do you guys wanna do?
Leni Loud: I know! Let's go to the mall! There's a huge sale!
Lori, Lola and Lana Loud: *cheers* Yeah! Let's do it!
Lily Loud: *cheers* Poo-Poo!
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): *claims* Sure, I'll go.
Leni Loud: *takes Lincoln's hand*
They run to the van and drive to the mall. They arrive at the mall and they run inside into a store, where there are many blondes.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): They're awfully a lot of blondes here, guys.
Leni Loud: Uh-huh, and all blondes get anything in the mall free.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): Really? Why the hell would you do that? Why make blondes more privileged than everyone else?
Lori Loud: *excited* Yeah! I can literally use a new dress!
Lana Loud: Don't get the same dress, unlike our insane fight.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Lana, quit bringing up Brawl in the Family.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): *excited* What are we waiting for, let's go!
The eight all run into stores and grab as many items as they can; The slide transition cuts to the scene tonight.
SpongeBob SquarePants: All right, Gary, just so there isn't more upset, I'm gonna ask that you sleep on the guest newspaper tonight, and Mr. Wormsley is going to be sleeping in here with me.
Gary the Snail: *growls at Mr. Wormsley*
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): *picks him up* Now, now, Gary, there's no need for protest.
Leni Loud: *opens the door and turns on the lights* See? I totes set it all nice just for you. There you are.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Yellow Rectangle, Lincoln (Blonde Hair), Lori, Leni, Lana, Lola and Lily Loud: *leaves*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Night, Gare.
Yellow Rectangle: Night, Gary.
Leni Loud: *closes the door*
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Later, they're walking with bags in their hands.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): I have to admit, the mall is a good place to shop. - Lincoln said
Lori Loud: I knew you like this place, little bro. And you got a lot of new stuff too.
Lana's hat flew off her head and about to fall off the second floor, Lincoln uses a claw arm and successfully nabs her hat and place it back on her head.
Lana Loud: *high fives Lincoln*
Time card reading "Ten Minutes Later"
French Narrator: Ten minutes later.
They're eating a pizza at the food court, they finish.
Lincoln Loud: You know, having blonde hair is actually a good thing.
Lana Loud: It does, Lincoln, if you keep it, the fun will never stop.
Lola Loud: Blondes for life!
They all high five; Slide transition cuts to the scene later with Patrick.
Leni Loud: He's in here.
Patrick Star: *enters the door*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh! I can't watch!
Patrick Star: Leni.
Leni Loud: Yes?
Patrick Star: Something tells me that Mr. Wormsley is actually Mrs. Wormsley. *shows baby worms*
Leni Loud: Oh! Patrick, it’s a miracle.
Patrick Star: That it is.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): Wait till Gary sees.
Patrick Star: Yeah! Wait till…
SpongeBob SquarePants: See, Gare? Right in here. They're gone asleep.
Mrs. Wormley and Gary are growling at each other again.
Lana Loud: Looks like they still aren't quite used to each other.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): Well, these things take time.
Gary the Snail and Mrs. Wormsley: *gets into a fight*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow Rectangle, Red Rectangle, Lincoln (Blonde Hair), Lori, Leni, Lana and Lola Loud: Duck and cover!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow Rectangle, Red Rectangle, Lincoln (Blonde Hair), Lori, Leni, Lana, Lola and Lily Loud: *hides*
Patrick Star: The mall is getting too rough for me.
All Crowds: *screams*
Gary the Snail and Mrs. Wormsley: *gets out of the mall while fighting*
Until outside of conch street.
Gary the Snail: Meow, meow, meow.
Mrs. Wormsley is now riding a bus.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): He's chased her away! Now who will care for her abandoned litter of adorable newborn infants?
Patrick Star: Well, maybe you could take care of them.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I dunno, Patrick. I've never seen Gary that upset.
Patrick Star: Ga...who?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Nope, you and I are just gonna have to find loving homes for each and every one of these little guys. Right, Patrick? Patrick?
Patrick Star: *leaves the mall*
Patrick is gone. Later, they arrive back and walk inside, the brunettes are in the living room and their jaws were dropped in shock of seeing Lincoln with blond hair; Later, the brunettes are having a meeting in Luan and Luna's room.
Luna Loud: Okay, seeing him with blonde hair is creeping me out, dudes! - Luna said
Luan Loud: I know, he's bleeding with them more! *laughs* Get it?
The other brunettes groan in anger, Lynn hatch an idea.
Lynn Loud Jr.: How about we make him dye his hair brown?
Lisa Loud: Excellent idea!
Luan Loud: Yeah, let's do it! - Luan said
The four brunettes all high five.
Time card reading "Later That Night"
French Narrator: Later that night.
The blondes are having a slumber party in Lori and Leni's room, with the blond-haired Lincoln, the brunettes, in their PJs, are watching them.
Luna Loud: *nods*
They walk away; Lincoln is sleeping in his room, the brunettes are watching him.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Okay, he's asleep.
They high five as they went to sleep.
Time card reading "The Next Day"
French Narrator: The next day.
Screen cuts to SpongeBob at Squidward's house.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Don't worry, little guys. Squidward is a really good friend of mine, and he really likes pets.
Squidward Tentacles: *opens door and yawns* SpongeBob, what are you doing here? Don't you know that it's 7:00 in the morning?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward, I came over with a very special surprise.
Squidward Tentacles: Don't you know that it's 7:00 in the morning?
SpongeBob SquarePants: How would you like to have your very own pet baby worms?
Squidward Tentacles: Don't you know that it's 7:00 in the—baby what?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Baby worms. See? Aren't they just adorable at that age?
Squidward Tentacles: *glances into the box holding the worms*
One oozes green glistening slime on Squidward's face.
SpongeBob SquarePants: So, how many did you want?
Squidward Tentacles: *shuts the door in SpongeBob's face*
Slide transition cuts inside the Loud house in the morning, Lincoln wakes up and finds the brunettes staring at him, smiling, he falls off his bed.
Luna Loud: Morning, dude!
Lynn Jr. and Luan Loud: *helps him up on his feet*
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): Morning, what do you guys need? - Lincoln ask
Luan Loud: Well, seeing you dying your hair blonde, how about you dye your hair brown? *flicks my ponytail* Like us.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): Hmm.... You guys make a strong argument. Let us discuss this over the adding of chocolate to milk.
The brunettes cheer in excitement, they shoves Lincoln to the bathroom and handed him brown hair dye.
Lincoln Loud (Blonde Hair): Here we go again. I kinda wanna be more than friends. - Lincoln said
Time card reading "15 to 20 Minutes Later"
French Narrator: 15 to 20 minutes later.
The brunettes are waiting.
Lincoln Loud: (Brown Hair): *comes out*
Now his hair is brown, the brunettes gather around him and pat his hair.
Luna Loud: Dude, you look rocking with your hair brown!
Brown Rectangle: Can I join you?
Luna Loud: Sure you can, Brown.
Lisa Loud: I don't show these kinds of emotions, but... *happily* you are freakin' hot!
Brown Rectangle: Indeed, you look cool with brown hair, Linc.
Lincoln Loud: (Brown Hair): Thanks, girls. So, what do you wanna do, guys?
Lynn Loud Jr.: *eager* I got tickets for a baseball game, wanna come with?
Luna, Luan, Lisa Loud and Brown Rectangle: YEAH!
Lincoln Loud: (Brown Hair): *excited* Let's do this!
Screen cuts to Mrs. Puff's house.
Mrs. Puff: Yes? Oh, it's you, SpongeBob. What are you, uh, doing here? And not that the teacher's most enthusiastic student isn't welcome in her house. *notices SpongeBob still ringing the doorbell and sighs*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *looks down at the ground and finally lets go of the doorbell* Good morning, Mrs. Puff.
Mrs. Puff: It almost was.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Would you like a baby worm?
Yellow Rectangle: Yeah. Yeah.
Mrs. Puff: A what? *screams. Inflates my body to break some of my house in pieces*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, I'll just come back later, Mrs. Puff. Have a nice day!
Mrs. Puff: *house collapses* I hate Mondays.
At a baseball stadium, the five are sitting in seats, they're wearing baseball shirts and baseball caps, they're eating chili dogs.
Lincoln Loud: (Brown Hair): What a nice day out for a ball game.
Lynn Loud Jr.: You said it, man.
A foul ball is hit and it's coming to where the brunettes at everyone rises up from their seats, and Lincoln jumps and catches it.
Luan Loud: Nice job, Linc!
Brown Rectangle: Oh yes!
Lisa Loud: Excellent job.
Lincoln Loud: (Brown Hair): You know, maybe having brown over blonde is better.
Luna Loud: That's good to hear, dude.
At home, the brunettes and Lincoln are in Luna's room having a jamming session, Lucy then peeks into their room.
Lucy Loud: If he likes blonde and brown, maybe he'll like black. *walks away and smiles*
Time card reading "Zee Next Day"
French Narrator: Zee next day.
Lincoln Loud: (Brown Hair): *wakes up and goes downstairs for some breakfast*
He eats a bowl of cereal, after eating, he goes to his room and changes his clothes, he finds Lucy there, he yelps in shock.
Lucy Loud: Morning, Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: (Brown Hair): *mortified* Morning, Lucy.
Lucy Loud: So, Lincoln, today's the day you die.
Lucy handed her brother black hair dye, he sighs.
Lincoln Loud: (Brown Hair): Time for Third Eye Blind.
Time card reading "15 to 20 Minutes Later"
French Narrator: 15 to 20 minutes later.
Lincoln then comes out of the bathroom, with his hair black, Lucy smiles at this.
Lucy Loud: Just like my pet bat, Fangs.
Fangs then fly and land on Lincoln's head, admiring his black hair.
Black Rectangle: *joins Lincoln and Lucy* C'mon, let's go to the movies.
At the movie theater, Black, Lucy and Lincoln are watching a movie, each eating popcorn and root beer.
Lucy Loud: *whispers* Are you liking the movie?
Lincoln Loud: *whispers* Yeah, it's really good. Plus, this popcorn here is delicious, also, having black hair is cool.
Black Rectangle: Right.
Lucy Loud: *smiles at this*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Don't worry, little worms. I know a place where we can find go to find homes for every single one of you. *cuts to supermarket* Good morning, ma'am. How are you today? Could I interest you in some…
Lady just keeps walking
Yellow Rectangle Ma'am?
Larry the Lobster: *comes out of the Supermarket whistling*
Yellow Rectangle: That whistling. It's Larry Lobster! Hi, Larry, what are you up to?
Larry the Lobster: Do I know you?
Yellow Rectangle: Probably not.
Larry the Lobster: I was just picking up some dietary supplements here at the supermarket. I've been working on my chest... and buns.
Yellow Rectangle: So I see.
Larry the Lobster: Well, catch you later.
Yellow Rectangle: Oh, Larry, wait.
Larry the Lobster: No time now. Somewhere, there's sand that needs kicking.
Yellow Rectangle: Okay. I was just gonna see if you wanted one of these poor, lonely baby worms.
Larry the Lobster: Baby worms?
Yellow Rectangle: Well, yeah!
Larry the Lobster: I'll take them off your hands.
Yellow Rectangle: Really?
Larry the Lobster: Sure, why not? That's just what the nutritionist ordered: raw protein!
He is about to eat the worms.
Yellow Rectangle: Larry, no! *jumps into Larry's stomach, knocking him down and sending the box flying*
Larry the Lobster: Dude, nice hustle.
The box lands in the middle of an intersection, with an 18-wheeler headed straight for it.
Yellow Rectangle: *lets out a bloodcurdling scream, flails my arms and babbles incoherently*
Larry the Lobster: *launches SpongeBob and Yellow into the air with my abs
They land on the hood of the truck.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yellow, do something.
Yellow Rectangle: Okay.
He slides down, pulls the vent apart, and crawls inside. He pulls out three plugs, then peeks outside. The truck is still going. Then he notices a loose screw. He unscrews it completely with a wrench, causing the engine to fall out of the bottom of the truck and the truck to stop completely, in the nick of time.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yellow, you did it! You saved baby worms!
Yellow Rectangle: Oh, little wormies, I'm so glad you're safe. Now let's go see about finding you those homes I promised. *the phone rings* Hello?
Mr. Krabs: Yellow, it's Mr. Krabs. I've been looking all over for you. You're three hours late for work!
Yellow Rectangle: *screams*
Mr. Krabs: Hello?
Yellow Rectangle: *runs into the Krusty Krab out of breath* I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, I came as fast as I could–
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, are you sure you're feeling shipshape?
Yellow Rectangle: *pants* I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. His pet worm had babies and got chased away. Now I've got to find them all a place to live.
Mr. Krabs: Babies?
Yellow Rectangle: Yeah.
Mr. Krabs: Let me see.
Yellow Rectangle: Really?
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, come on, let me see them. I like babies.
Yellow Rectangle: Well, okay.
Mr. Krabs: *in baby talk* Hey there, little critters. *looks inside the box* Come to…
One of the worms spits green bile onto his face.
Yellow Rectangle: Oh, he likes you.
Mr. Krabs: *very angry* GET THAT DISGUSTING VERMIN OUT OF ME RESTAURANT, PRONTO!
Yellow is shocked by this reaction, and runs out of the Krusty Krab sobbing.
Mr. Krabs: Blech!
The slide transition cuts to the Loud House. The heroes are waiting on Lincoln, he comes out to show them 729 times, with his signature white hair, everyone gathers around him
Lynn Loud Jr.: So, much better.
Leni Loud: And it's perfect, too. *pats Lincoln's white hair*
As everyone else is doing it too
Lola Loud: It's good to have your hair back, Lincoln.
Mr. Krabs: Thank you, boy.
Everyone then went to the living room and watched TV. Screen fades in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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