Tales from the Public Domain

Tales from the Public Domain is the fourteenth episode of Season 13.
==Synopsis==
Homer gets a letter from the library about an overdue book. He checked it out when Bart was born to have something to read to his child. Lisa suggests that he read them some stories from it.
== Full Story ==
Homer is told that he has an overdue book from the library, which he checked out when Bart was a baby. He says that he had intended to read to Bart every day, but various things had gotten in his way. Before he returns it, he reads from the book, telling three stories.
===D'oh, Brother Where Art Thou?===
In this story, Homer is Odysseus, and delivers the King of Troy (Ned Flanders) a Trojan horse. He and his crew, including Apu, Lenny, Moe, Professor Frink and Carl, kill all of Troy's citizens and win. However, he refuses to sacrifice a sheep, angering the gods, Zeus (Mayor Quimby), Dionysus (Barney), and Poseidon (Captain Horatio McCallister). Dionysus tries to destroy Odysseus with a lightning bolt, but misses and instead destroys the island of Atlantis. Poseidon literally blows Odysseus and his crew to the Sirens (Patty and Selma) and visit Circe (Lindsey Naegle), who turns his crew into pigs, whom Odysseus eats. Circe orders Odysseus to go through Hades, crossing the River Styx (which has the Styx song "Lady" playing during the crossing), in order to go home so he can see Penelope (Marge) and Telemachus (Bart). When he arrives back to Ithaca, he spears all of the suitors (Krusty the Clown, Kirk Van Houten, Groundskeeper Willie, Mr. Burns, and Sideshow Mel) trying to please Penelope. Penelope decides to take him back, though he leaves to go to Moe's (even though Moe is killed and eaten by Odysseus earlier in the episode). Homer then tells the story of Joan of Arc, saying it takes place in a make-believe kingdom called France.
===Hot Child in the City===
 (Lisa) gets told by God to lead the French to victory. So she leads the French against the English in the Hundred Years' War. While the French Army (led by Chief Wiggum, Eddie, and Lou) are reluctant to follow her at first, they eventually take her advice and are victorious. At her ceremony, Joan exposes the supposed King of France (Mayor Quimby) as a fraud and reveals that the true Dauphin (Milhouse) was testing Joan to see if God had really sent her. Since she passed the test, the Dauphin resumes his position as King. At the feast that night, he makes a pass at Joan, which she awkwardly deflects. When the court jester (Krusty) jokes about Milhouse's inability to pick up women, Milhouse orders for Krusty's death. During another battle, the English capture Joan and put her on trial. She is accused of witchcraft, and sentenced to death. When Joan claims that she was following God’s will, an English/Scottish soldier (Groundskeeper Willie) reveals that he too was chosen by God, but to lead the English armies against the French. God’s voice then excuses Himself by revealing that the two were never supposed to meet.
As they read the end, Joan of Arc is being burnt at the stake. Lisa questions Homer “Do they actually burn her?” Marge then interrupts, and rips out the last page of the story, claiming that Sir Lancelot rescues her, and they escape and live in a spaceship before eating the page and laughing nervously, mentioning, "Well, at least it was easier to chew than that Bambi video". Marge's interrupting means that Joan of Arc was likely burned to death at the end. Homer then starts to tell the story of Hamlet, but Bart says that the stories can't compare with today's super writers, like Steven Bochco. Lisa then tells Bart that the story's more interesting than he thinks. Homer then proceeds to tell the story.
===Do the Bard, Man===
Prince Hamlet's (Bart) uncle Claudius (Moe) marries Gertrude (Marge) after killing King Hamlet (Homer) by poison. The King returns to his son as a ghost, telling him of the betrayal and requesting that his death be avenged. Prince Hamlet, with the help of a professional jester (Krusty), puts on a play to make Claudius reveal himself to be guilty, and because Hamlet knows what he did, Claudius attempts to kill him. Ophelia (Lisa) claims that Hamlet's talking crazy again and nobody "out-crazies" her, while cartwheeling out the window and singing. Hamlet, aiming to kill Claudius, accidentally kills Polonius (Chief Wiggum). His son, Laertes (Ralph Wiggum), proposes to duel Prince Hamlet for revenge. As his “practice stab,” Laertes kills himself, (this moment is cut from channel 4 airings of the episode) and Hamlet successfully murders Claudius. Rosen-Carl and Guilden-Lenny (Carl and Lenny), meanwhile, have been covered in poison, along with food, curtains and other objects in the room, and kill each other with a high five. Hamlet walks away to celebrate, but he slips on some blood and dies. Seeing a big mess she does not want to clean up, Gertrude commits suicide by hitting herself with a mace and everyone is dead.
===Epilogue===
As Homer finishes the the greatest thing ever written, Bart complains about the Hamlet story, saying he found the story so boring due to every character being murdered. But Homer corrects him, saying that not only was it a great play, but also became a great movie called Ghostbusters. Then the family dances to the Ghostbusters theme song.
==Broadcast History==
===United States===
Broadcast date(s)	Channel aired
*March 17, 2002
*June 2, 2002
*August 25, 2002	
*December 27, 2020	
== Citations ==
fr:To Bart or not to Bart
pl:Tales from the Public Domain
pt:Histórias de Domínio Público
Category:Episodes
Category:Trilogy Episodes
Category:Anthology
Category:Bart episodes
Category:Lisa episodes
Category:Homer episodes
Category:Moe episodes
Category:Krusty the Clown Episodes
Category:Episodes with live action footage
Category:Written by one-time writers
Category:Adventure episodes
Category:Apu episodes
Category:Lenny and Carl episodes