The Aliens Are Coming

The Aliens Are Coming is an episode written by Golfpecks256, Chairman of Banana Studios, Inc., as an entry for the third round of the second season of Spin Off Kings.
===Transcript===
"The Aliens Are Coming"
[Scene begins on a starry sky in Area 51 in Nevada, United States. Sandy initially took SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs on a tour of Texas, including a rodeo show, but...]
[flashback]
[Texan music]
Sandy: Y'all enjoying this?
SpongeBob: YEAH!
Patrick: Shm. Who likes dumb ol' Texas anyway?
Earl the Chipmunk: Oh, no Mr. Star. This rodeo is the best fun bash there is, and here in the South is great! You wouldn't want to run into the aliens over West, would you?
SpongeBob: Aliens?!
Earl the Chipmunk: Oh yessir, indeed, sea sponge! Aliens love the West, and they thrive and cluster in an area known as old "Nasty Nevada," in a top secret location only the most privileged of all land lubbers know of.
Sandy: I've always entertained the idea of alien hunting. What do y'all say?!
SpongeBob: YES!
Patrick: Eh, psst, sure.
Squidward: That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Only a moron believes in this fantasy!
SpongeBob: Oh, but of course they're real, Squidward! People see aliens all the time, and report them, silly!
Mr. Krabs: I say yes. The Krusty Krew has a sacred duty to hunt these creatures down and invite them to try a delicerous Krabby Patty, so I can make a sackload of moooonnnnnnneeeeeeeey!
Squidward: [to himself] Morons.
Sandy: Okay then! Let's go!
[Scene transitions back to the starry sky from the flashback]
Squidward: [shivers] This is so stupid! We're sitting around here doing nothing, shivering due to a bunch of simpletons who think extraterrestrial monsters somehow exist! 
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward. Just keep waiting. [winks]
Squidward: [gets up] I want to leave!
Mr. Krabs: Ahem, [raises voice] Mr. Squidward! You are required as part of the Krusty Krew to stay here until we can invite these new creatures to the Krusty Krab for some grub. Who knows how big and hungry they'll be for some delicerous Krabby Patties, boyyos!
Squidward: You're wasting your time, [sneers] Eugene. This is a bunch of malarkey!
Patrick: I LOVE DOING NOTHING! [laughs]
Sandy: Don't worry, folks. It probably won't be long.
Squidward: How do you know that? They're fake!
SpongeBob: Shhhh! Squidward! How do you know they aren't secretly listening to us?!
Squidward: Give me a break, you imbecile. This is so [blasts through a megahorn] RIDICULOUS!
[A bunch of UFOs suddenly appear in the sky]
Mr. Krabs: [yelps] HOLY SMOKES! Those things are huge!
Squidward: Woah. [passes out]
SpongeBob: Amazing.
[Thunder and lightning occur, and rain starts to precipitate]
Patrick: [brings out megaphone] ALL HAIL THE GREAT ALIENS OF THUNDER!
[The UFOs circle around the trio with their blaring lights focused on them]
Mr. Krabs: Give me that! [grabs megaphone] Come try some Krabby Patties, and invite your friends from outer space to give me their money! [starts laughing]
Squidward: [gets up] Oh, please tell me this isn't real.
[UFOs blare and blast at Squidward, three times]
Squidward: [alarmed] AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
[Squidward dodges the first two shots, and then gets burned in the face]
Squidward: [growls] THIS IS WHY I SAID WE SHOULDN'T STAY HERE, YOU DULLARDS!
Patrick: Peesh, calm down, squiddy. [excited] We haven't even said hello to them yet!
[One of the UFOs now hover over Patrick, and suck him up through a shoot into a trapped compartment]
Patrick: Nooooo! Help me!
SpongeBob: [shrieks] Patrick! Sandy... GET THEM!
[The UFOs start flying away]
Sandy: Follow me! Everyone on board the spacecraft, pronto!
Squidward: [crosses arms] This is all your fault!
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, you don't want to be abandoned here in this haunted landscape of unknown realities, do you?
[Everyone boards Sandy's spaceship, and Sandy immediately starts the engines]
Sandy: Mr. Krabs, I want you to act as the navigator.
Mr. Krabs: [yells] Full speed ahead!
[Spaceship starts and blasts into full speed, catching up the trio of UFOs]
SpongeBob: Boy, I never thought UFOs could abduct sea stars. Guess you learn something new every day! [starts crying] THIS IS TERRIBLE!
Squidward: I doubt aliens even exist. Those are probably fake UFOs operated by some sort of monster who wants to scare us.
Mr. Krabs: Shut your pie hole, or you're FIRED!
Sandy: We're gaining on them!
Mr. Krabs: Mr. SquarePants, please get into a space suit, pronto! Get prepared to deploy!
SpongeBob: Aye aye, Captain!
[SpongeBob quickly gets into a spacesuit]
Sandy: I don't know where they're heading.
[The UFOs suddenly blast another red flare at Sandy's spaceship]
Squidward: [screams] LOOK OUT!
[Sandy manages to barely dodge the flare]
Mr. Krabs: Squirrel, I think we need some ammunition of our own.
SpongeBob: Like some snowballs? Me and Patrick always love a good snowball fight!
Mr. Krabs: [smudges face] There isn't snow in space, square one.
Sandy: But there is ice! SpongeBob, go to the back compartment full of our water storage and turn the temperature down to freeze all of it!
SpongeBob: But then how will we drink again?
Sandy: That doesn't matter!
[in the distance] Patrick: [snores]
[SpongeBob turns the temperature down in the water compartment to -30 degrees Fahrenheit]
[In the distance, through a speaker in a dark, shady voice, an alien says] To the fellow blobs of unknown life in the distance, surrender this chase or else we will obliterate your empire. This pink statue is our property, and you are our bait.
Surrender before we deploy our alien troops to annihilate your civilization!
Sandy: [to SpongeBob] Quick! Once it's ready, get into the spacesuit ready to rescue Patrick!
SpongeBob: Sure, and I'm already in it, READY to REPORT FOR DUTY! [salutes]
[The water freezes into a massive glacier-like piece of ice]
Sandy: Ugh, not that big. Break it down into ice cubes ready to fire!
SpongeBob: Roger! [SpongeBob turns his hand into an enormous fist, and smashes the ice into countless ice cubes]
Sandy: Get on the outside platform!
[SpongeBob enters a room on the outside area of the ship that's secluded, with a control panel ready to fire the ice]
SpongeBob: I'm present, ready to serve!
Sandy: Ready to fire in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
[SpongeBob starts the automated defense system, and ice cubes shoot out and record speed, making dents in the UFOs ahead]
Sandy: Target the area Patrick is trapped! You need to break down those exterior walls and shoot him one of the spare spacesuits as well so you can go out and rescue him!
Squidward: AHHHHHHH!
Sandy: What's all that screaming about?
Mr. Krabs: We're about to collide with the ASTROID BELT! OPEN YOUR EYES!
Sandy: Hurry SpongeBob!
[aims for the trapped area]
SpongeBob: [shoots ice at high speed] ALMOST GOT IT! [area starts to dent and break]
Alien 2: Master, they are trying to gain access to the statue! 
Alien 1: Ha, nonsense. We'll outmaneuver those foreigners through the asteroid belt ahead! [loud "BOOM" noice occurs]
[SpongeBob shoots a spacesuit to Patrick, and then uses his own jet pack to go and rescue him]
SpongeBob: I'm here for you, Pat! [tries to reach out]
[The spare spacesuit blasted at him smacks Patrick in the forehead and wakes him up]
Patrick: [drowsy] Wha- what? [terrified] Why am I in space? This is the worst nightmare I could ever have!
SpongeBob: Patrick, this isn't a nightmare. IT'S REAL!
Patrick: [starts crying] Oh...! Why does it have to happen to me and not Squidward! And least he's lived a long life! [cries even more]
SpongeBob: Patrick, get in the spacesuit before you freeze!
Patrick: [notices frozen arms] [screams] AHHHH!
SpongeBob: I'll help ya!
[SpongeBob helps Patrick get into the spacesuit and carries him back to Sandy]
Alien 1: [yells through the speaker] GET BACK HERE!
[Sandy's rocket makes a sharp maneuver and turn, while the alien spacecrafts crash into a cluster of asteroids from the asteroid belt]
Patrick: [sweating] Phew, that was a close one.
Squidward: That could've been avoided if we had went straight home!
Patrick: Boy, Squidward is still grouchy even though SpongeBob saved my only life.
SpongeBob: Don't worry, everyone! We're all safe and we're all going back to Bikini Bottom, and that's what counts. But MOST excitingly, WE MET ALIENS!
Patrick: YEAH!
Sandy: It was fascinating. 
SpongeBob: What do you say, Squidward and Mr. K?!
[cricket sound]
Mr. Krabs: [sad] I didn't get any of their money!
Squidward: Can we get a day off from work, Mr. Krabs, considering I'm traumatized and need a break from reality?
Mr. Krabs: No, Mr. Squidward, you work and should be available for me 24/7!
Squidward: [sighs] Welcome to my world.
[episode ends]
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