Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily/Quotes

:Lisa: Mom, you fuss over us way too much.
:Marge: Enjoy it now, because when you're a grown-up, you'll have to take care of yourself.
:(Bart and Lisa leave for school. Homer enters the living room)
:Homer: Marge! there's a spider near my car keys. 
:Marge: You did the right thing by telling me. 
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:Homer: Papa Bear has a little honey for his Mama Bear. 
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:Homer: {to Marge} Come on, honey, you work yourself stupid for this family. If anyone deserves to be wrapped up in seaweed and buried in mud, it's you.
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:Springfield Elementary. Miss Krabappel's class is having their picture taken.
:Edna Krabappel: Bart, stop scratching. You're messing up your hair. Ahh! Lice! How on earth does a boy get head lice in this day and age?
:Flashback to Van Houten residence. A monkey is atop Bart's head.
:Milhouse: We bought a wicker basket from Trader Pete's and he was passed out inside. 
:Springfield Elementary.
:Bart: {talking to himself} Hey, how come I get lice and nothing happens to Milhouse?
:Milhouse is suffering from ultra-low body temperatures and is shivering.
:Milhouse: {talking to himself} So cold...so very cold.
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:Principal Skinner watches as Groundskeeper Willie burns Bart's lice-infested clothes.
:Willie: See you in hell, you wingless blood-suckers.
:Lots of little screams are heard as the clothes burn.
:Skinner: What kind of parents would permit such a lapse in scalpel hygiene?
:Willie: Well, ye'd better check out his sister. She could be rife with them bugs ["boogs"] too!
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:The social workers notice a sign saying "I'm a stupid baby" taped to the back of Maggie.
:Social Worker: Stupid babies need the most attention!
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:(Ned Flanders allows Bart and Lisa to watch Itchy and Scratchy. As usual, the Simpson kids enjoy the cartoon, but Rod and Todd are pale white, shocked at what they have just seen)
:Rod: Daddy, what's the red stuff coming out of kitty's ears?
:Ned: Uh... that's just raspberry jam.
:Todd: Dad, should I poke Rod with a sharp thing like the mouse did?
:Ned: {crosses his arms} No, son. No sirree BOB.
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:Marge: I miss the way Bart would say something and then say "Dude."
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:Bart: Here you go, Todd, the city edition.
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:Ned Flanders: Don't you kids know anything? The Serpent of Rehoboam? The Well of Zohassadar? The Bridal Feast of Beth Chedruharazzeb?
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:Bart: Oh, I hate this place
:Lisa: Yeah, it seems like our house, but everything's got a creepy Pat Boone-ish quality to it. 
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:(In the Better Parenting class)
:Cleatus: Uh, Pa, I cut myself on the screen door again.
:Homer: Why, you COTTON PICKIN'!!!.... (strangles Cleatus, then realizes the class is watching) No, I gotta pass this class for my kids. Son, let's stop the fussin' and the feudin'.
:Cleatus: I love you, Pa!
:Homer: I love you, Cleatus! (both cry in each other's arms)
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:Teacher: If you leave milk out, it can go sour. Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool, wet sack. And put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can't stress that enough. Don't just throw it out the window.
:Marge: This is so humiliating.
:Homer: [taking notes] Garbage in garbage can. Hmm. Makes sense.
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:Homer: Now, wait a minute! Okay, I'm not gonna win Father of the Year. In fact, I'm probably the last guy in the world who should have kids. Uh- W- W-Well, wait- Wait. Can I start again? Fathering children is the best part of my day. I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa.
:Judge: And, uh, Margaret?
:Homer: Who? Lady, you got the wrong file.
:Marge: It's Maggie.
:Homer: Oh, Maggie. I got nothing against Maggie.
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:Bart: Ha-ha, you're gonna be Lisa Flanders!
:Lisa: You're gonna be Bart Flanders.
:Bart: (screams)
:Maude Flanders: Oh, relax Bart, your sister Maggie isn't scared.
:Bart: That's because she can't talk!
:Maggie removes her pacifier.
:Maggie: Daddily doodily!
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:Ned has called Rev. Lovejoy in a panic over having just learned that the Simpson kids aren't baptized.
:Rev. Lovejoy: Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
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:Marge: The only thing I am high on is love! Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little L.S.D. is all I need
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:Homer: We leave you the kids for three hours and the county takes them away?!
:Grandpa: Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch!
es:Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily/Frases