Annoying Orange: No More Mr. Knife Guy/Transcript

Orange: Um... Wait. Run that by me one more time.
Ginger: I've already told you like a thousand times. Why don't you believe me?
Orange: Well, you are... you know...
Ginger: A ginger?
Orange: Yeah.
Ginger: Well, gingers have souls.
Orange: Nuh-uh.
Ginger: Do so.
Orange: Nope, you're thinking of nutmeg.
Ginger: Ginger!
Orange: No.
Ginger: Yes!
Orange: No.
Pear: No? What do you mean, "no"?
Ginger: Who said that?
Orange: Hold on a second. I gotta take this. What's going on, Pear?
Pear: This stupid game isn't working. It's not giving me a Yahtzee.
Orange: That's not Yahtzee.
Pear: It's not?
Orange: No, it's Scrabble.
Pear: It's not Scrabble, Orange.
Ginger: (groaning)
Orange: It isn't chess, is it?
Pear: No.
Orange: Is it Connect 4?
Pear: Connect 4? Really?
(Ginger screams and gets cut up by Daneboe's knife)
Orange: It kind of looks like Connect 4.
Pear: It's not Connect 4!
Orange: It's got to be Chutes and Ladders.
Pear: No.
(Daneboe puts down his knife, revealing his face)
Orange: Ooh, I know. It's checkers.
Pear: No, it's not.
Orange: Jenga?
Pear: No, it's not Jenga.
Orange: Oh, I know. Hey, let's ask ginger. Hey, hey Ginger! (gasps)
Knife: Hey, dudes! This, umm, isn't what it looks like.
Orange and Pear: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(title card shows)
Peter Coffin: (singing) No more Mr. Knife Guy
Now he's real slick
He's got sheen!
Knife: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not gonna hurt you, little guy.
Orange: Yeah, tell that to Ginger!
Knife: Is that who this was? Man, poor little fellow was really juicy.
Orange: Yeah, but it's not like he had a soul. (laughing)
Knife: What are you talking about? The dude was here, and now he's not. That's awful.
Orange: Actually, thanks to you, he's here and there. (laughing)
Knife: Dude, that is not funny.
Orange: You're a real cut-up, you know that? (laughing)
Knife: Well, I know what this looks like, but just because I'm a razor sharp strip of stainless steel doesn't mean I want hurt anybody.
Orange: Wow, I never seen the side of you before. (laughing)
Knife: I'm telling you, Orange, it's lonely been a knife. Every time I get close to someone, they wind up getting cut in half. Do you know what that's like?
Orange: Umm...
Knife: This one time I julienned a tuna can in three seconds flat. It was awful.
Orange: Geez, sounds like you're really on edge. (laughing)
Knife: What's so funny about that?
Orange: I guess you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are ya? (laughing)
Knife: Buddy, don't even get me started on those guys.
Other Knife: If my atomic number is 56, then my name is what?
Two knives: Barium!
Other Knife: Very good. No more easy ones, guys. Now, if a train leaves Baltimore...
Orange: Wow, and I thought you were dull. (laughing)
Knife: Dull?! Who said I'm dull?
Orange: I did, just now.
Knife: Not so loud, man! Do you know what happens to a dull knife?
Orange: He goes on a lot of first dates? (laughing)
Knife: No, dude! He gets a little visit from... the Sharpener!
Orange: Ooh, is he like the Equalizer?
Knife: No! The Sharpener is harder than a rock... and you know what he does?
Sharpener: He sharpens little fools like you!
Knife: Who said that?!
Orange: Wasn't me!
Pear: Me either!
(pannel moves)
Pear: Oh, come on! That was totally a Yahtzee!
Knife: It wasn't me!
Orange: What about him?
Knife: No!
Orange: Sharpener!
Knife: Not again!
Sharpener: What's wrong, little guy? Think I'm gonna rub you the wrong way? Ha ha ha ha ha!
Knife: No! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
(Daneboe rubbed Knife in the sharpener)
Orange: Whoa!
Knife: THAT HURTS!!!!!
(Knife screams)
Sharpener:Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Orange: That guy really knows how to make a point. (laughs) Ooh, ow.
Sharpener: Now that was a close shave! (cackles evilly)
Orange: Wow, I almost feel bad for Knife. Geez.
Pear: Hey, I think I finally got this stupid thing working.
Orange: Hey, what's goin' on, Pear?
Pear: I think it's trying to tell us something, Orange.
(panel moving)
Orange: Whoa, what the—G-I-N-G-- Ohh! Ohh! It's spelling "Jenga."
(panel with lights moving, warping music plays)
Orange: What's going on?
(Ginger's souls appeared)
Ginger: See? I told you gingers have souls! Suck it, Orange!
Orange and Pear: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(The scene cuts to Orange asking the Fruity Question of the day, No more Mr. Knife Guy plays)
Peter Coffin: No more Mr. Knife Guy
He needs sharpening
No more Mr. Knife Guy
Now he's real slick
He's got steel
(video ends)
Category:Season 2
Category:Shorts
Category:Transcript pages
Category:Episodes