Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington/Quotes

:Homer: Mmmmmm… promo. EEWWW!!! Fox!!!!
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:Channel 6 TV Announcer: You're watching Channel 6, Springfield's home for Krusty the Clown, now on 3 times a day. Because at Channel 6, we got nothin' else!
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:Marge: There has to be a solution that pleases everyone, from ducks and trees to you's and me's.
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:Professor John Frink: (pedaling a flying contraption in the air) If I stop pedaling, I'll die, but it still beats U.S. Air. (Starts singing) The people there don't know how to make a flight.
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:Grampa: (moving across the floor on a toilet) I've had this dream before.
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:Lisa: Krusty, I don't usually give advice to Republicans. But it would be nice to be on the winning side…for once.
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:Bart: Krusty, I thought you'd make a difference, that's why I voted for you!
:Krusty: How could you vote? You're only 10!
:Bart: This is not about me, or how many times I voted.
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:Krusty: I vow to reach out to the Latino community! (in Spanish) Voy a vomitar en la tomba de tu madre!
:(the crowd gasps)
:Bumblebee Man: Ay yi yi!
:Krusty: What'd I say? What'd I say?
:Bumblebee Man: You said you were going to vomit on their mothers' graves!
:Krusty: Oh! So that's why my maid quit.
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:Krusty: I could even tell the FCC to take a hike. Look at this list of words they won't let me say on the air. (hands Bart a piece of paper)
:Bart: Aww! All the good ones. Hmm, I never even heard of number nine.
:Krusty: That's 2-ing 13 while she's 11-ing your 5.
:Bart: Can I keep this?
:Krusty: Sure, no 12 off my ass.
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:Homer: I guess there's only one way out of our problems: a murder-suicide pact.
:Marge: How can you say that?
:Homer: It's just an expression, Marge.
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:Krusty: Are you guys any good at covering up youthful and middle-aged indiscretions?
:Mr. Burns: Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?
:Krusty: Russian hooker. You tell me.
:Mr.Burns: Oh, no problem, we'll just say you were on a fact finding mission.
:Krusty: I did find out one fact, she was a guy!
:Dr. Hibbert: Well if Eddie Murphey can go on to play Dr. Dolittle I suppose we can make this work. Congratulations Krusty, you're running for congress!
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:Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman, with a special live report from the headquarters of Krusty opponent John Armstrong. How can I prove we're live? Penis! Now here's the candidate.
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:Ralph: [to Homer] I'll give you a milk and 3 crayons for your house.
:Cookie Kwan: It's a good deal. I advise you to take it.
:Homer: Make it a chocolate milk and you got a deal.
:Ralph: I'm walking away. [walks away]
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:Mr. Burns: Welcome, fellow Republicans. To start with the old business, Brother Hibbert will read a report on our efforts to rename everything after Ronald Reagan.
:Dr. Hibbert: All Millard Fillmore schools are now Ronald Reagans, the Mississippi River is now the Mississippi Reagan...
:Dracula: And my good friend Frankenstein is now Franken-reagan. Blah!
:Mr. Burns: Excellent!
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:Mayor Quimby: [while having sex with another woman who isn't his wife] Vote Quimby, vote Quimby, vote Quimby, VOTE QUIMBY! UGH! Without those noisy planes I can finally hear my kitten purr.
:Lady: [in a very squeaky, annoying tone] Thanks a million, Joe! You're the swellest!
:Mayor Quimby: That's your voice? Now I regret building you that opera house!
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:Louie: This is a private jet. Why do we gotta watch “The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?”
:Johnny Tightlips: The Boss, he’s got a thing for the Ya-Yas.
:(Seated near them, Fat Tony is sobbing to the movie)
:Fat Tony: (Crying) Why was I born a man?
:(He blows his nose on a pizza slice he’s eating instead of his own white handkerchief from his jacket pocket)
es:Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington/Frases