London Transit Commission Strike/Transcript

The following is a transcript of "London Transit Commission Strike", the first episode of comedy web series A Dose of Buckley.
== Transcript ==
Background music begins.
=== Introduction ===
(performed by Buckley's then-girlfriend)
Open your mouth and swallow...it's A Dose of Buckley!
=== The Dose ===
The London Transit Strike is entering its fourth week, and of course, like every other modern-day strike, the cause isn't something noble like fighting dangerous or unfair working conditions, or even long-term job stability. Nope, it's all about an immediate pay increase. To break it down, the greedy, unionized drivers want 12% over the next three years, and the cheap bastards at the LTC only want to give them 9%. This'd bring the average driver's full-time pay to over $25 an hour, or $52,000 a year from the 48 grand a year they're already making.
Are you fucking kidding?! $52,000 to drive a bus! Do you know how many people go to college or university every year and spend the next ten years of their life hoping they might make a salary like that?! You know how much education you need to drive a bus? You go to the fuckin' drive test place, buy a book, and take the bus licensing test! If you learned how to read in elementary school, or you got a friend that'll read it to ya, and you can pass the written and driver's test, you're qualified to drive a bus. But these assholes want to be paid nearly as much as a nurse! Yeah, I looked it up. Nurses make about 55 grand to 60 grand a year in their first three or four years on the job. They clean blood and shit up all day and watch cancer patients die. Drivers, you think your job is worth the same?!
And don't even get me started on unions. Maybe they were necessary in the '50s, when people were forced to work 80 hours a week for a dollar an hour, and if they refused, they were fired. But we got labor laws against that shit now, and an owner of a company can pay his or her employees based on what they feel the job's worth. It's called capitalism. You don't like it? Move to fucking Cuba. See how much they'll pay you to drive a bus there, you greedy fucks!