Boob Tonic Plague

The Boob Tonic Plague was a mass casualty pandemic event which occurred during the Mid Evil ages on Earth, raging across the planet's eight outer continents from 1620 BB to 1098 BB. 
== Onset ==
The plague began after a Berrenthian Mousehorn arrived on Earth onboard the comet Mickolviun. The comet crash landed in southern Iberia, from which the Berrenthian Mousehorn traveled north, eventually ending up in Paris, where he bit a pedestrian's penis very powerfully and injected the man with the illustrious, horrendous Boob Tonic (of which the plague is named). 
This man, Azarath Moizoillous, soon began convulsing violently, before his breasts seperated themselves from his skeleton and he bled out in the street. Launched at supersonic speeds, his pectoral muscles slammed into the face of a nearby fruit vendor, who subsequently was infected, and soon enough, the entire square had been infected. 
== Pandemic Status ==
The Boob Tonic Plague soon spread outward from Paris into the rest of Europe, with the notable exclusion of the kingdom of Prussia (which had armed itself with Anti-Extraterrestrial Virus Vaccines in the years prior, for unknown reasons.) The disease was officially recognized by the World Health Organization (AKA Catholic Church) as a pandemic in 1620 BB, after the Czar of Russia fell victim to the explosive punishment of the Boob Tonic Plague. 
The pandemic tore across Europe, Asia, and the fallen continent of Atlantis, killing millions and plunging the planet into a very dark age. 
Everyone in Africa died. 
== Aeterna ==
The plague soon crossed the Atlantic and reached the shores of The Great MAGA King's Aeternian Empire, Here, it began quickly dispatching the native peoples, much to the dismay of their god emperor, who found himself powerless to stop it. The streets of Aeterna became so full of pectoral muscles that butchers began taking them back to their shops to... well, I'm really not at liberty to say. 
Donald J. Trump appointed his Magarrish Apprentice, Mike Pence, to oversee the Boob Tonic Pandemic Response, which Mike Pence did beautifully and wonderfully. Pence delegated the daedric entity of Malike Tragedia to oversee this task. Malike Tragedia was no pandemic expert; however, he was quite knowledgable on the subject of BDSM, and so instructed the victims of this horrendous disease to prepare by providing free lengthy BDSM wax melt sessions in the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid (Instance I). 
Much to the surprise of Malike Tragedia, this expirements began working, with Boob Tonic patients retaining their pectoral muscles through intense concentration on other forms of pain. This method of treatment soon spread across the world, and the pandemic's side effects were cured. However, it raged on for many years, until the Boob Tonic vaccine of Prussia was seized by the Holy Roman Lava Lamp in 1100 BB. Soon after this, the pandemic was truly eradicated.
Category:Events