The BoJo Of The Opera

The BoJo Of The Opera is the 30th episode of Wait Wut and the 16th episode of season two.
== Transcript ==
(Episode opens in a crowded hall where Jeremy Corbyn and Boris Johnson are having a debate. The words "2019 UK General Election" write across the screen.)
Boris Johnson: -I mean, obviously a vote for Corbyn is a vote for communism. Everyone knows that by now. The Labour Party is racist as fuck.
(The crowd mutters in agreement.)
Jeremy Corbyn: What"s wrong with free healthcare?
(The crowd mutters in agreement again.)
Mr. Krabs: He has a point.
Squidward: I thought you were Conservative.
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, the elections aren't voting for who's the best, they're voting for who's the least shit.
Boris Johnson: (muttering) Tough crowd today, if I want to win them over I'm gonna have to switch tactics. Hit it!
(Music begins playing. The crowd goes silent.)
Jeremy Corbyn: Oh no. Are we in a musical?
SpongeBob: Get ready.
Boris Johnson: Hello, friends, my name is Boris Johnson the MP
Don't worry, I'm totally not one of those evil demons
You've read about in propaganda or seen in the movies
And there's no reason at all to be suspicious of me
Conservative Party: Not evil, not evil, no, the least evil person I know
Jeremy Corbyn: I don't know, it's very suspicious where he's leading with this
Boris Johnson: I'm so not a villain, I have zero evil plans
No ulterior motive, just want to help where I can
I wanna shower you with gifts
'Cause I'm selfless and sweet
So there's no reason at all to be suspicious of Boris Johnson the MP
The least evil P in history
And if you do not believe me
I totally won't imprison your family
'Cause that'd be evil and that's so not me
Conservative Party: Not evil, not evil, no, the least evil person I know
Jeremy Corbyn: Really? 'Cause I'm getting super evil vibes here
Boris Johnson: Squid, do you like the NHS?
'Cause I think it is great
Squidward: How'd you know that?
Loving the NHS is my one defining trait!
Boris Johnson: Well now, my good friend
You can build the NHS of your dreams
On your very own planet with your own NHS-building scene
Jeremy Corbyn: Come on, do not fall for this
Squidward: Corbyn!
Haven't you heard?
(voice crack) There's no reason at all to be suspicious of him
Jeremy Corbyn: Yeah, I know he keeps saying
That but he's clearly an evil dic-
Plankton: Huh, well, I'm not buyin' it
Jeremy Corbyn: Sheldon, waiting for healthcare, that's so cruel
It's like waiting to be born or for a guillotine to fall
Jeremy Corbyn: Even his metaphors are suspicious
Boris Johnson: I've got a surprise for you
A NHS that's really private
And more money than you can chew-
Mr. Krabs: His story checks out, he's cool, not evil
SpongeBob: What about me?
Boris Johnson: SpongeBob, what's the most bubbles you can imagine?
SpongeBob: A lot
Boris Johnson: Times that by infinity
SpongeBob: Woohoo!
Boris Johnson: And, Patrick-
Patrick: Nah, I'm good thanks.
Boris Johnson: Oh, but don't you want to get Brexit done?
Patrick: Well technically speaking it's never gonna be fully "done", and it will be a thing that we will remember for the rest of our lives.
(pause)
Boris Johnson: Well, uh...
Here's some other adjectives
People use to describe me:
Unduplicitous, unmalicious, unconniving, unnasty!
Jeremy Corbyn: You're clearly just adding 'un'
To words that describe you
Who? Me?
I'm Boris Johnson the MP
I never trick people into trusting me
By hiding my true personalities
So I can use them to accomplish my evil deeds
'Cause that'd be evil and that's so not me
I never cheat, I never bribe, I never scheme, I never lie
And that wasn't a lie when I put that stuff on stuff on the bus 'cause I never lie and I never lie
And I never laugh when Corbyn cries
And I never visit children of mine
And I never cry when I'm alone at night
'Cause I said, "I love my life"
I'm gettin' off track
Let me get back to the point I was makin'
I'm Boris Johnson the MP
The most least evil person you'll ever meet
And if you make eye contact with me
I totally won't have you executed immediately
'Cause that'd be evil
Conservative Party: Evil
Boris Johnson: Evil
Conservative Party: Evil
Boris Johnson: Evil, and that's so not me!
(Beat as the song finishes. The crowd looks unfazed.)
Sandy: Can I go home now?
Boris Johnson: So, uh, what did you think?
(pause)
Fred: Let's go to Hooter's, they got hot chicks there.
(The crowd mutters as they leave feeling content.)
Boris Johnson: wait wut
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