The Merchant of Bloons

"The Merchant of Bloons" is the seventeenth episode of SBFW: Finding Bigfoot, and the seventh episode of the second season. Written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway and CartoonGuy277, the episode was first aired on 16th March 2022 alongside "Bloons, Pursued by a Bear". 
===Synopsis===
Mr. Renaud becomes a missionary to preach Malarky doctrine.
===Transcript===
[The episode starts in Israel, wherein Mr. Renaud, in his ragged clothes, is preaching to people attempting to go to work in Jerusalem.]
Mr. Renaud: Hello, my Israeli brethren! Haveth ye heard the tale of Conner Malarky?
Israeli Businessman: Sounds like a bunch of malarkey. 
Mr. Renaud: EXACTLY! Conner Malarky is our Lord and Saviour, and you will eventually feel the presence of his throbbing schbadonker slathering Jesus juice onto your unexpecting face.
Israeli Businessman: I don’t swing that way, sir.
Mr. Renaud: Don’t worry, Conner Malarky also approves of lesbians.
Israeli Businessman: I’m a man, ya filthy tramp! Is this another one of those Muslim insurrections?
Mr. Renaud: What’s a Moose Lamb? I only know Malarky.
Israeli Businessman: Yeah, I can tell. Buzz off!
[The Israeli businessman leaves, only for a group of Israeli children to show up and start climbing on Mr. Renaud.]
Mr. Renaud: This is my lucky day!
[An explosion is heard in the distance, and a man’s voice is heard through a speaker.]
Man: Take cover in the bunkers! Built for us by The Disney Corporation. Don’t forget to get your complementary Mickey Mouse wristband on the way in! Isaac Herzog, President of Israel, sponsored by Coca-Cola, signing out. Shout out Judaism!
Mr. Renaud: Where’s the bunkers?! I don’t wanna die before I can preach Malarky!
[The children jump off of him and run away.]
Mr. Renaud: NOOO! My only source of happiness - the gentle touch of a prepubescent leg - vanished! I might as well die.
[A rocket lands on Mr. Renaud and a “My leg!” sound effect plays. The episode fades to Mr. Renaud being cared for in a hospital by a doctor who inexplicably wears a yellow hat.]
Doctor: You’s okay, m’patient?
Mr. Renaud: When is a human truly okay? Is life not just a series of misfortunes we try to mask by small things that briefly release testosterone?
Doctor: What?
[The doctor takes off his mask and reveals himself as Jew Wario.]
Jew Wario: M’piece of shit, you’s okay?
Mr. Renaud: End my suffering.
Jew Wario: M’piece of shit, suicide’s not the answer! You should call 1201.
Mr. Renaud: Don’t tell me Jew things, damn it! You know I don’t speak Jewish. All I want right now is to go to Conner Malarky’s home, up above, where I can touch children all I want…
Jew Wario: M’nonce, don’t you worry! I had you put in a children’s hospital!
Mr. Renaud: WHAT?! So that’s why this bed was so small! My friend, you have been granted salvation by Conner Malarky. TIME TO HAVE SOME FUN!
[Mr. Renaud jumps out of his hospital bed, only to fall to the ground as he realises he has got no legs.]
Mr. Renaud: WHAT THE HELL?!
Jew Wario: Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that.
Mr. Renaud: The great Malarky doesn’t have legs either. I… I must be Conner reincarnated. 
Jew Wario: Oy vey.
Mr. Renaud: Si. And as my first act as the finder-outer of Conner Malarky reincarnater, I will take over the city which is rightfully mine. Jerusalem, here I come!
Jew Wario: Not again.
[The episode fades to black.]
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