Crazysponge action movie

crazysponge action movie is the sixth episode of Season Three of CrazySponge Died: The Series.
==Transcript==
[The episode starts with CrazySponge alone in his Box Productions headquarters, captioned with “March 30th 2020” - he’s on a Zoom meeting with his workers. Cut to CrazySponge’s laptop screen, and it shows Bot, Liz and Prim all on a video call with him.]
Bot: I gotta say, boss, telling us to work from home was the best idea you’ve ever had. In between making the mEmE wOrLD schedules, I’ve been able to prioritise my interests. 
CrazySponge: So what you’re saying is that you are now a police interceptor?
Bot: Well, no, that’s not what I--
[CrazySponge removes Bot from the call]
Liz: How have you been holding up in the HQ alone, Mr. Sponge?
CrazySponge: I haven’t been alone. John. is still with me, aren’t you John.? John.?
[Zoom out to show his window shattered open.]
CrazySponge: Ni-
[Cut to a news report, where anchor Perch Perkins, currently being eaten alive by John., is reporting.]
Perch Perkins: Reporting from the oesophagus, it’s Perch Perkins here to warn everyone in the general vicinity that a giraffe is on the loose! More about this rampage after these messages--
[Perkins is gobbled up by John., and it cuts to CrazySponge watching the TV in his HQ.]
CrazySponge: Oh, God, what am I gonna do? When I stole John. from the zoo, I didn’t think to get giraffe insurance! Ugh, I knew I should have gotten the llama instead. 
[CrazySponge’s wallet jumps out of nowhere onto the floor and we hear coins jingling.]
CrazySponge: You’re right, honey. I need to take this into my own hands.
[Cut to CrazySponge in a business suit near a bar.]
CrazySponge: The name’s Sponge. Crazy Sponge.
Bartender: [thick New York accent[ Sorry, buddy, we can’t serves ya. Ain’t you read the sign?
[The sign reads ‘No mask, no breasts, no service’.]
CrazySponge: Hmmm… 
[CrazySponge steals some oranges from a fruit bowl and shoves them down his suit.]
CrazySponge: Huh?
Bartender: Nice try, buddy. Now moves it, huh?
CrazySponge: God damn it! I didn’t even say I wanted it stirred, not shaken.
Bartender: It’s “Shaken, not stirred”.
[CrazySponge bangs his hand on the bar]
CrazySponge: Don’t tell CrazySponge what to do.
[Cut to CrazySponge being thrown out of the bar and landing face-first into the busy New York road, where he is surrounded by cars that just barely miss him and instead swerve into other cars. CrazySponge, hearing police sirens, leaps onto a taxi and elbows the roof in.]
CrazySponge: DRIVE, MONKEY, DRIVE!
Taxi Driver: [same voice as the bartender] Oh, I can dos more than that.
[The taxi cab grows mechanical legs and stretches before it leaps up into the sky, before suddenly stopping.]
Taxi Driver: Safety first.
CrazySponge: Oh, my bad. 
[He puts his seatbelt on and the taxi continues to jump before landing in a safe spot near a US military base. The driver and CrazySponge both get out of the car.]
Taxi Driver: So, where youse from?
CrazySponge: Long Island.
[Taxi Driver sees a sign saying ‘You’re still in Long Island’]
Taxi Driver: Checks out. So why are YOU on the run?
CrazySponge: My giraffe’s on the loose.
Taxi Driver: Oh! So you’re the guy who owns that Jeffery who been skirtin’ around eatin’ everyone like Free Pizza Fridays at Joey’s.
CrazySponge: I have no idea what any of that means.
Taxi Driver: Let me guess, fine-diner. Only eat out at Royalty Street.
CrazySponge: Actually, no. I’ve never been to a restaurant. 
Taxi Driver: What does a guy like you eat around here then?
CrazySponge: I just buy Cheerios.
Taxi Driver: What?
CrazySponge: Cheerios? You never heard of them?
[A sudden shelling of bullets nearly hits CrazySponge, but he ducks.]
CrazySponge: What the hell was that?!
[A military sergeant walks up to CrazySponge with a machine gun in hand.]
Sergeant: I don’t know how it is in Long Island but the O’s ain’t legal here, son.
CrazySponge: This IS Long Island!
[The sign saying that it was in Long Island collapses to reveal it says ‘You’re ACTUALLY in Texas. Lmao idiot’]
CrazySponge: How in the--
[CrazySponge ducks to miss another round of gunfire.]
Sergeant: MR. SPONGE! If you want to stay on this Earth, you better give up your Cheerios supply. 
CrazySponge: You’ll never catch my breakfast cereals alive!
[CrazySponge jumps in the taxi and drives into the desolate road, surrounded by desert, crashing into the Texas sign to reveal a sign underneath reading ‘Nevermind, you’re in New Mexico. Whoops!’]
Sergeant: Follow him!
[The taxi driver stretches out to a rectangle and grows wheels, with a herd of troops along with the sergeant, all with guns at the ready, jumping onto his back. The sergeant revs up the man’s engine by pulling his ear and with its release, the man starts zooming up the road, quickly catching up to CrazySponge. Thankfully for the Sponge, however, John. appears, frolicking through the deserts.]
CrazySponge: John.
[CrazySponge waves his arms out of the taxi’s non-existent roof to grab John.’s attention.]
CrazySponge: John.! Daddy’s here!
[He is met with another barely-missed round of gunfire as he sits back in the car and rolls down onto the ground, meaning all of their ammo hits the car as he makes a run for it to see John. CrazySponge quickly jumps onto John. and calms him by soothingly tickling his neck.]
CrazySponge: It’s okay now. Wait… hold on a second.
[The military catches up to him.]
Sergeant: Your last words, Sponge.
CrazySponge: [yelling] All this time, you’ve been chasing me for eating nutritious cereal when you couldn’t do ANYTHING about THE MASSIVE FUCKING GIRA--
[CrazySponge is shot dead by another round of gunfire.]
[The end.]
No giraffe, and approximately 70,000 humans, were harmed in the making of this episode.
Category:2021
Category:2021 Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:2021 Episodes
Category:Transcripts
Category:CrazySponge Died: The Series
Category:JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:2020s