Life after narcissism

[–][deleted] 8 points 1 year ago 
My life post discard was one of extreme isolation and solitude.
I know this is going to sound odd, but now I view those moments as being both challenging and a blessing.
The issue is that you're purging the years of abuse. The uneasiness you feel alone is because you don't feel like yourself. Like there's something off.
This is the thing with narcs, and other cluster Bs; they are vampires. They suck your personality/soul/whatever you wanna call it. And they leave you feeling empty, and in a sense they transfer to you how they feel themselves. So it feels so foreign and yucky.
But being alone is part of the healing process, believe it or not. At some point you have to go deep within to find yourself again. You need to force yourself to have the life you always wanted, and that requires your own agency. But first you need to purge out all the shit that is not yours.
Narcs leave you with their baggage, and we end up thinking the problem is with us. Narcs target highly empathetic people, which I suspect you are. And highly empathetic people sometimes need to be alone, so they can recharge their batteries and not being exposed to everybody else's energy.
Eventually you need to reach the state in which you are fully aware deep into your core that you did nothing wrong. Once you have forgiven yourself, you will see how everything changes and you will be living the life you were always supposed to be living.
This is also the universe's way of forcing to let go of your old life. Appreciate that it is better to be alone than with people who don't have our best interests in their hearts. You need to make a promise to yoruself that you will never tolerate any broken or toxic people into your life ever again.
The pain you're experiencing is the resistance to let it go.
But first you need to see the solitude as an empowering ally, not something bad. You are not a bad person, and you should enjoy your company.
Again, once you have reconnected with yourself, you will find it much easier to reconnect with the world. But this time it will be on your own terms.
See the solitude as a gift, not a curse. Narcs can't spend more than 1 day alone with their own selves. So realize how much stronger and powerful you already are than the environment that hurt you.