2014.10.26 - It's Hammer time.

A quiet Sunday afternoon. Valerian had a small opening 'party' for his newest Libraria Mystica opening and is cleaning the tables. As yet, he has no helpers but he's but up an advertisement in the local newspaper. He frowns and looks up as some men enter the little store. "Can I help you?" He asks politely.
"Yeah. Sure" The leading man says. He's thickset and wearing a cheap suit which reeks of mothballs. "Listen Mr... Ashtray or whatever the hell you call yourself. We're from a local group of... businessmen." Another man, also thickset sniggers and echoes "Businessmen" The other man scowls at him and says "Anyway. We've an agreement with the local council. All businesses in the area need to pay us money for keeping the gangs of their doorstep. We're here to collect the first payment."
"Is that so?" Valerian says. "Well, I wasn't aware of sssuch" The men feel something odd, like cold water down their back. Valerians dead eyes settle on the leader and he says "Ssso I'm afraid I can't pay you right now. Come back another day. Or even better..." His expression darkens "Don't come back."
"Ah? It's a shame you think like that Mr Ashtray... I can call you Ashtray right?" The lead man says, drawing a handgun. The others are suddenly armed as well as Valerian backs of, seemingly in fright. Is there a hero out there, prepared to save the poor shopkeeper?
As a matter of fact, there is, which becomes immediately apparent as the window behind the gangsters suddenly bursts, scattering glass shards every which way as that imposing figure crashes through it and dropkicks one of the gun-toting thugs. Standing atop the prone body of the now-unconscious mafioso, valiantly posing with hands on hips and devilish grin between the deadly group and the innocent shopkeep, is none other than Captain Hammer.
"Stand back, everyone, nothing here to see! Just imminent danger; in the middle of it, me o/~" the Captain sings, yes, /sings/ as he strikes another pose, flexing a bicep and smiling to the security camera (if there is one). However, a moment later, he pulls a face like he's just been hit with a sense of deja vu, and he shakes his head before pointing to the lead gangster. "Alright, you there. You're in charge of this operation, right? Well, I'm in a real ass kickin' mood today, and you've got ten seconds to get yours out of here before it ends up next on my list."
Grin. Teeth sparkle. Oh yeah, perfect.
The leading man blinks and... of course... fires the gun in his hand purely out of shocked disbelief. This seems to be a que for the others to open fire, sending a few dozen bullets flying at the valiant Captain. Two of them dive for cover. 
Meanwhile, Valerians face turns red. The window is no big deal but the fact that there are bullets whizzing around the place makes him furious. What if a book gets damaged? Or the new coffee machine?
Invisible tentacles slide from his back and rapidly cover the bookshelves and the other valuables.
Captain Hammer is, of course, unaffected by the bullets, which just bounce right off of his body like it's made of diamond, ricocheting into the walls and ceiling. "Ha, why do they always try to shoot me? It's like you guys /want/ me to shove my fist down your throat." he grins, reaching out to grab one of the gangsters and throwing him into one of the shelves of merchandise, followed by punching another hard enough that he goes flying into another.
Luckily, Valerians actions prevent any damage to the books. The men do fall unconcious though. Valerian places his hands together and begins muttering under his breath. 
The lead gangster snarls "One of the hero types, are ya?" He aims at Captain Hammers eye and fires another bullet, carefully aimed this time.
Captain Hammer quickly gets done with the small fry, and soon enough it's just the leader left. Stepping forward, Hammer grins at the guy and nods. "You bet. And there aren't any more heroic than me." he says, then turns his head at /exactly/ the moment the guy shoots at his eye, trying to figure out what Valerian's doing. "Hey, what are you muttering about back there? You don't need to call the police, they always show up too late to be useful."
Then, after the bullet has already bounced off of several objects in the store and shot through the other, up-to-now unbroken window, he turns back to the lead gangster again and grabs his gun, squeezing it with the sort of strength that crumbles solid rock. "Now, like I said, get your patootie outta here before it has a boot-shaped hole in it. Capiche?"
The man squeaks and turns to run out the door, those goons that are still able to move following him. Valerian opens his hands and exhales, the tentacles moving back. "I was just... praying" He says. "Can I get you anything? For free, of course." He says, moving behind the counter. Apart from broken glass, the shop is in pristine condition.
Captain Hammer grins just a little wider as the gangsters leave, striking one more pose before looking around the place. "Huh, this place looks a lot less destroyed than usual. Must be good construction." he notes, then turns toward Valerian and shrugs. "Nah, books aren't my thing. If you've got any sweatervests, though, someone keeps stealing mine from the laundromat..."
Valerian frowns and says "I could order some in for you... But no. Books and coffee. Or tea, though that isn't particularly common over here. And biscuits or cookies or whatever to go with whatever beverage you choose" He has an odd accent and stranger eyes which still look perfectly undisturbed. "Although it looks like I'll have to buy new windows. Is there any point in getting bullet-proof ones?"
Captain Hammer scratches his chin, poring over the options in his mind. It's not a hard choice. Pointing and winking at Valerian, he says, "I'll take that coffee. Black, no sugar." He seems to be oblivious to the shopkeeper's eyes and accent, at least for the moment. After all, how many supervillains get attacked by random thugs? None that are worth their salt. Finally, with a glance back at the windows, he simply suggests, "Nope."
Valerian sighs. "A pity" He says, preparing the coffee rapidly. Black. No sugar. No milk. He hands the Captain the coffee. "So. You're a hero then."
Captain Hammer takes the coffee gladly, sipping it to make sure there aren't any creamers. Nope, straight black. Good. "Yep, I'm a hero. Pretty famous too, if I say so myself." he answers, drinking some more of the hot, bitter liquid.
Valerian pauses and says "Well. I'm new to the area I'm afraid so..." He coughs. His tentacles have by now all slid back again. "I've never heard of you."
Captain Hammer hms, clapping a hand on Valerian's shoulder with another grin. It's a good thing those tentacles are invisible. "Haha, well, trust me. You will."
Valerian raises an eyebrow. "I look forward to it." He says, smiling. It fades after a short while however. "I wonder if those thugs will come back" Valerian says worriedly.
Captain Hammer finishes his coffee, setting it down on the counter. His grin becomes something that /might/ be reassuring, but it's hard to tell through the cockiness. "Don't worry, if they do, I'll just beat the lesson into them again."
Valerian smiles and says "Well. That's a relief." He takes a cloth from under the counter and goes over to what looks like a crude sword which has been mounted on the wall. He takes it down and polishes it, glancing up. "If you ever want some coffee round these parts you can have some for free" he adds to the Captain, putting the blade back onto the hooks.
Captain Hammer watches the sword warily, just in case the guy does try to stab him or something. It won't work, of course, but then he'll have an excuse to beat up the foreign nerd. But, unfortunately, Valerian just puts it up when he'd done polishing. With another smile, Hammer nods and says, "I'll do that. Might even make it a regular thing."
Hmm." Valerian says. "I don't think I could handle guns Mr...?" He turns to the Captain, a questioning look on his face.
Captain Hammer strikes another pose. "Hammer. Captain Hammer." he answers, reaching out to shake Valerian's hand.
Valerian takes the hand and gives it a firm handshake. "Captain Hammer." He says, as if memorising the name. "My name is Valerian Ashatur." He smiles "A pleasure to meet you."
Captain Hammer is quite a bit firmer, almost enough to actually hurt. But, thankfully, he pulls away before anything can go crack. "The pleasure's all yours, Mister Val. But really, I must be going. Heroes are very busy, you know."
And then he starts singing again. "When you're the best, you can't rest, you can't cruise, when ass needs kicking, some ticking bomb to defuse o/~" He stops again, scratching his head as if he's done this before. Then, with another shrug, he heads for the door. "Well, anyway, later Val."
"Later" Valerian replies, smiling. When the hero has left Valerian looks around and sighs. He makes sure nobody outside is watching then goes over to the window frame. He begins tracing something in the air and a thin, harsh white line of light appears. Glass begins growing out of the window frame and soon the windows are good as new as Valerian begins clearing glass of the floor. He goes to the door and flips the sign to 'CLOSED'.
Category:Log