Transcripts/Roman Backstage Pass

LMB theme song
:[engine sounds]
:[indistinct chatter]
:Luna: This is the Roman Backstage Day! [singing in Roman accent] Deșteaptă-te, române, din somnul cel de moarte...
:Martin: Sweyn Forkbeard's Music Festival, we have arrived!
:Dennis: Two days and nights of cool music, hot food, and sleepin' under the stars!
:Martin: To Tia and me, this festival is about one thing only.
:Martin and Celestia: PostCrush!
:Dennis: [chuckles] We know. Y'all won't stop talkin' about it.
:Celestia: Who, PostCrush? That's only because PostCrush is the craziest, most amazing-est pop duo ever! PostCrush, PostCrush, PostCrush!
:[beat]
:Celestia: Oh. I see your point.
:Martin: After they cancelled their last tour to go on "indefinite hiatus", we thought we'd never see them live.
:Celestia: But we thought wrong! Roll call!
:Martin: Roman Lollipop—
:Celestia: A.K.A. R-Lo!
:Martin: —is the cool one.
:Celestia: While Kyle Fegelein—
:Martin: A.K.A. Ky-Feg!
:Celestia: —is the zany one! Not unlike another certain dynamic duo I know.
:Rest of the Petrovburg Heroes: [laugh]
:Dennis: All right, less laughin' and more gaffin'. We got an early mornin' tomorrow.
:Celestia: [giggles]
:[First Romania Day]
:[birds chirping]
:Martin: [snoring]
:[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
:Martin: Huh? [laughs]
:[]
:Luna: [giggles]
:Jason: Roman Day One! Come and get it!
:[whack!]
:Martin: Hey!
:Jason: Oh! Uh, sorry, princess. I'll be more careful from now on.
:Martin: Ah. Not gonna let a little thing like intense pain ruin this perfect day!
:Dennis: So, I says to my father – Hideyoshi, "Get the chicken coop!"
:Vincent: [spit take, laughs]
:Dennis: Hey!
:Vincent: Sorry. That one has animals in it.
:Celestia: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Celestia Diane!
:[beat]
:Vincent: Um, I don't get it.
:[]
:The Petrovburg Heroes: [laughing]
:[splat!]
:Martin: Whoa!
:Luna: Whoa! Princess, are you okay?
:Martin: Just a little mud.
:Celestia: Princess! Princess! Look!
:Martin: Whoa!
:Celestia: So many lines to stand in! This day's already amazing! Let's go! [to a Sweyn Forkbeard attendant] You come to this line often? Any other sweet lines we should hit up?
:Jason: Hey!
:Luna: [giggles]
:Martin: Hmm. That line's moving fast. Huh. They are, too. Can't this thing move any faster?!
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: Security is an art. It cannot be rushed.
:Martin: [sighs]
:Celestia: Aw, cheer up. Lines fly when you're having fun!
:[beeping]
:Celestia: See you in there, princess!
:[beeping]
:Martin: Whew.
:Dennis: Welp, y'all have fun seein' PostCrush. We'll see ya back at camp tonight.
:Martin: Luna gives us this! Main objective – Get front row for PostCrush. Mission procedure – we cut around the neon garden to the main stage and rush the front during Chesney Hawkes' set. We can camp there until showtime.
:Celestia: Secondary objective – win a tandem bicycle!
:[zip!]
:Celestia: All I have to do is guess how many candies are in the jar. And my sugar senses say... three hundred and five!
:[buzzer]
:Celestia: Awww...
:Martin: What about seeing PostCrush together?
:Celestia: Uh, this bike has two seats, princess. That's one more than usual! Fine. I'll focus. Oh, look! The neon garden!
:[zip!]
:Martin: [groans]
:Celestia: Whee! [giggling]
:Martin: [panting]
:Celestia: [giggling, snorts]
:Martin: [panting] The neon garden is a maze?!
:Celestia: [giggling]
:Martin: [groans] Where is Celestia?!
:[]
:Martin: Come on, Tia! We're gonna miss the show!
:Celestia: Awww.
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival artist: Who wants to be part of an art show?
:Celestia: [gasps] Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I do! I do!
:[splat!]
:Celestia: [giggles] Guess what! I spilled paint, and it looks exactly like Lady Toby with a pirate mustache!
:[beat]
:Celestia: What? It's washable.
:Martin: There. Now, no more getting separated and no more distractions.
:Celestia: You got it, pri— Whoa!
:[]
:Martin: They are about to go on! We'll have to push to the front row! Come on!
:Celestia: [sniffs, gasps] Chef Nate's exclusive star-crusted, cinnamon-dipped churros! No! I will not give in! [squeals] I can't resist!
:Martin: This is the worst possible time for churros, Tia! W-Whoa!
:[crash!]
:Celestia: [laughs] Our bad.
:[door creaks]
:[snip!]
:[door closes]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival announcer: Let me hear three big cheers for two best friends who got back together for one incredible night! PostCruuuuush!
:[crowd cheers]
:Rest of the Petrovburg Heroes: [chattering]
:Jason: There they are! Two peas in the pod! How was it? Rad-tacular? Amaze-magic?
:Martin: [groans]
:Dennis: Uh, what's wrong, Princess Martin?
:Martin: We missed PostCrush. Someone wanted to win a bike, then got us lost in a maze, covered in paint, sidelined by churros, and finally, kicked out!
:Dennis: Uhhh....
:Celestia: I'm really sorry. I wish we could do the day all over again. I'd do it different.
:Martin: Me, too. I'd do it alone.
:[music]
:Martin: [whimpers]
:[whoosh!]
:[the next day]
:Martin: [snoring]
:[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
:Martin: Huh? [groans]
:[]
:Luna: [giggles]
:Jason: Roman Day One! Come and get it!
:[whack!]
:Martin: Hey!
:Jason: Oh! Uh, sorry, princess. I'll be more careful from now on.
:Martin: Roman... day one?
:Dennis: –"Get the chicken coop!"
:Vincent: [spit take, laughs] Sorry. That one has animals in it.
:Martin: What?
:Luna: [giggles]
:Celestia: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Celestia Diane!
:[splat!]
:Martin: Whoa!
:Luna: Whoa!
:Celestia: Princess! Princess! Look! So many lines to stand in! This day's already amazing!
:[zip!]
:Luna: Princess, are you okay?
:Martin: I'm... not sure.
:Celestia: You come to this line often? Any other sweet lines we should hit up?
:Martin: What's going on?
:Celestia: You said it, princess. [to Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard] What's with these long lines, sir?
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: Security is an art.
:Martin and the SF security guard: It can't be rushed!
:[]
:Dennis: Welp, y'all have fun seein' PostCrush. We'll see ya back at camp tonight.
:Celestia: What do you want to do first, princess? There's so much we can do! Like... win a tandem bicycle?! All I have to do is guess how many candies are in the jar.
:Martin: Anyone else having serious déjà vu?
:Luna: Nope. Just déjà V-you. [laughs] Get it? 'Cause it's just you? With the déjà v—
:Martin: I don't know how to explain it, but... I did all of this yesterday.
:Luna: We were at the college yesterday. [grunts]
:Martin: Celestia? I know where she's headed.
:[]
:Celestia: What are we waiting for?
:[]
:Martin: Tia, focus. If you keep running off like this, we'll be late for the concert!
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival artist: Who wants to be part of an art show?
:Celestia: [gasps] Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I do! I do!
:Martin: No way!
:[splat!]
:Celestia: [laughs]
:Martin: [growls]
:Celestia: Awesome. [laughs]
:[]
:Luna: Grrr... if this already happened, couldn't you have warned us about the paint?
:Martin: Sorry, my darling boy... Tia just splattered paint, and it looks exactly like Lady Toby with a pirate mustache. How's that?
:Luna: Well, that would prove it for sure!
:[stall door opens]
:Celestia: [giggles]
:Luna: Seriously?!
:Celestia: What? It's washable.
:[]
:Martin: So, what do you think, Luna? Any scientific explanation for this?
:Luna: It's possible that yesterday, a snag in the fabric of spacetime could cause a temporal point – i.e., today – to fold in on itself and thereby repeat. Quite fascinating, really.
:Martin: Time loop!
:Celestia: Time loop! [laughs] Classic Princess Martin.
:Martin: But why only me? The only time I was alone was on the hill when I wished—
:Celestia: For more wishes? Solid choice.
:Martin: This might sound crazy, but... I think Princess Aulia is giving another chance to see PostCrush.
:Luna: Astaghfirullahal-adziim... That's very crazy and outrageous.
:Celestia: Eh. Seen crazier. Wait. Why didn't you see PostCrush?
:Martin: Mistakes were made.
:Celestia: Aw, don't beat yourself up. I promise we'll see them together tonight, or so help me, I— [sniffs] What's that smell? [sniffs] Could it be? [gasps] Chef Nate's exclusive star-crusted, cinnamon-dipped churros! Now's proooob'ly not the best time to go get one.
:Martin: It's not. Let's get moving so nothing goes wrong for PostCrush.
:Celestia: On the other hand, if I get two, then Princess Martin can have one with me. No! No! I will not give in! [slurps, whimpers, groans] But I can't resist!
:[zip!]
:Martin: Okay, this is the worst possible time for churros! Tia, stop!
:Celestia: Whoa!
:[crash!]
:Martin and Celestia: [groaning]
:Celestia: [laughs] Our bad.
:Martin: No, her bad. You saw whose bad it was, right, sir?
:[door creaks]
:[snip!]
:[door closes]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival announcer: Let me hear three big cheers for two best friends who got back together for one— [continues under]
:Celestia: Maybe we'll get another another chance?
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival announcer: PostCruuuuush!
:[crowd cheers]
:[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
:Luna: [giggles]
:Jason: Roman Day One! Come and get it!
:[whack!]
:Martin: Thank you! Ow! [strained] Thank you!
:Jason: Oh! Uh, sorry, princess. I'll be more careful from now on.
:Dennis: So, I says to my father – Hideyoshi, "Get the chicken coop!"
:Vincent: [spit take, laughs]
:Dennis: Hey!
:Vincent: Sorry. That one has animals in it.
:Celestia: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Celestia—!
:Martin: No time for jokes, Tia! I'm gonna head out on my own today later!
:Luna: You okay, princess?
:Martin: Keep Celestia busy. Thanks, Luna.
:Vincent: But weren't we all supposed to see PostCrush together?
:[beeping] 
:Celestia: Princess! Hey! Wait up! Hey! [gasps] Win a tandem bike? Princess! Priiiinceeeesss!
:Martin: [panting]
:Celestia: You found me! Oh, okay! Now I'll find you!
:[later]
:Celestia: I'm having fun with my friend! Whoa!
:[thud]
:Celestia: Princess! Princess? Princess... are you– [gasps] –ditching me? [whimpers]
:[]
:Martin: [sighs] O Allah! I promise to make the most of this do-over do-over!
:[ka-chunk!]
:[rock music]
:[crowd chattering]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival announcer: [laughs] Let me hear three big cheers for two best friends who got back together for one incredible night! It's PostCruuuuush!
:[crowd cheers]
:Martin: [laughs] We did it! PostCrush roll call! Whoa!
:[Roman Lollipop]
:(Yeah)
:[PostCrush]
:Be the true, true, true original
:Dare to be what you are meant to be
:Working hard, that's our thing
:All this way, we're perfect, perfectly true
:True, true original (x3)
:[cymbal crash]
:[PostCrush]: We're perfect, perfectly true
:Martin: What a Roman lovely day!
:[]
:Jason: Ha! There she is. The lone wolf. [howls]
:Martin: [sighs]
:Dennis: Celestia's been actin' mighty strange this evening. Any idea what might've happened to her?
:Martin: We... lost track of each other. 
:Celestia: Me lose track of Princess Martin? Ha! But she's been right here the whole time! Right, actual Princess Martin? [imitating Martin] Right, Tia! By the way, your roasting technique is flawless! [laughs, normally] Thanks!
:[Martin beats Celestia]
:Tobias: [sarcastically] How was the show?
:Martin: It was... perfect.
:Tobias: [scoffs] I was being judgmental, princess. What is the point of throwing shade if no one's there to catch it?
:Martin: Sorry, lady. Too blissed out from the show to care right now. Talk tomorrow?
:[]
:Martin: [snoring]
:[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
:Martin: Hmm? [sighs]
:[]
:Martin: It... can't be. It's still—
:Jason: Roman Day One! Come and get it!
:[whack!]
:Jason: Oh! Uh, sorry, princess. I'll be more careful from now on.
:Martin: That's it! Aulia's curse magic!
:[magic noises]
:Martin: My–
:[magic noises]
:Martin: –do-over–
:[magic noises]
:Martin: –can–
:[magic noises]
:Martin: –end now! Cue Snips, and push Brother Nadia out of the way in three, two–
:Snips: You stage direct— Whoa! [groans]
:[splat!]
:Snips: Aww. Could've warned me, you know?
:Martin: Tried that. You called me "a witch".
:Snips: [gasps] Lady Martin?!
:Martin: [groans, grunts]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival artist: Hey, watch it!
:Martin: Sorry. Thought you didn't come up 'til later. I'll make a note of that for next time. Day seventeen – saw paint guy by food truck right before he breaks up with his girlfriend. It's not you, it's her. I'm not a witch. I'm just gonna go.
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival artist: Yeah, well... you better run!
:Martin: Run from the problems? I... actually haven't tried that yet.
:[engine starts]
:[vroom!]
:[tires screeching]
:Martin: [yelps] Luna! Slow down!
:The Petrovburg Heroes (except Luna): [yelping]
:Luna: Don't worry, Princess Martin! We gotta break out of here somehow! Maybe if we leave the campgrounds, it'll finally end!
:Celestia: What. Are. You. Talking about?!
:Martin: This is all your fault, Tia!
:The Petrovburg Heroes (except Luna): [screaming]
:[exhaust backfires]
:[engine dies]
:[metal creaks]
:Celestia: Are you saying the calendar industry cooked up a conspiracy to make every day today just to save paper?!
:Luna: No, I'm not saying that at all.
:Celestia: You're right. It's too obvious.
:Luna: Sorry to hijack the RV while you were all sleeping, but I've tried everything except leaving.
:Martin: Hmm... It's possible a snag in the fabric of spacetime could cause a–
:Martin and Luna: –temporal point – i.e., this day – to fold in on itself and thereby repeat.
:[beat]
:Martin and Luna: You really have done this a lot.
:[beat]
:Martin and Luna: Okay, you've made your point! Stop!
:Martin: [sighs] This time loop started because I missed PostCrush. So why didn't it end when I saw them?
:Luna: You sure it's only about PostCrush, princess?
:Martin: Uh...
:Celestia: I probably ask you this every day, but what did Lord Twilight Sparkle say when either you and Luna told him about this?
:Martin: The journal! Of course! How did I not try that weeks ago?
:[beat]
:Celestia: [giggles] Seriously though, why didn't you? Are you asking yourself, "How do you spend seventeen days with my best friend Celestia the Celestial Diva without asking for help until now?"
:Martin: Uh...
:Luna: Still think this is only about PostCrush?
:Dennis: Bad news, guys. Transmission's shot. Repairs ain't gonna be cheap. A Roman cuisine salesman says he'll need cash tomorrow for his Roman cuisine truck.
:Jason: [yawns]
:Martin: [sighs, sarcastically] Tomorrow? Sure. Tell him I'll give him a million rupiahs if I see him!
:[the next day]
:[bird chirping]
:Martin: [snoring]
:[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
:Martin: Huh?
:[thud]
:Martin: [groans]
:[]
:Luna: [giggles]
:Jason: Romania day one! Come and get it!
:[whack!]
:Martin: Hey!
:Jason: Oh! Uh, sorry, princess. I'll be more careful from now on.
:Martin: No way, Jason! No Way! Every day you say that, but you never are! Why won't you change?!
:[Martin beats Jason back]
:Jason: Okaaaaay...
:Celestia: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Celestia Diane!
:[]
:Celestia: So, you think Sergey can help you with this temporal loop thingy?
:Martin: [sighs] I sure he hope so.
:Celestia: [slurping]
:[buzzing]
:Sergey the Twilight Sparkle: Princess Martin, I've been doing some research, and it looks like you and Luna have found another long lost artifact.
:[magic noises]
:Martin: So fortune.
:Sergey the Twilight Sparkle: Time Twirler. I don't know how it found its way into this republic of us, but when activated, it has the power to loop time. What you're experiencing isn't simply magic run amok or a wish gone awry. Somebody is using Time Twirler to cause this.
:Martin: If we find whoever used Time Twirler to start the loop, we'll be able to end it for good. Tell Luna we've got a new mission.
:[]
:Jason: That was just a little preview of the rad-tacular– [continues under]
:Celestia: Whoever has Time Twirler is the only person besides you who isn't in the same place doing the same thing every day. Have you noticed anyone who doesn't belong? Anyone out of place? Anyone... evil?!
:Martin: I don't think so. How could I? Every day is the same!
:[Luciano and Batiara]: Every day's the same
:Martin: It goes round and round. Wait. What was that?
:[Sweyn Forkbeard's festival artist]
:Round and round and round and round
:Round and round and–
:Martin: Hey, what are you listening to?
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival artist: Meh!
:[Princess Aulia and the Dazzlings]: So ordinary, stuck on repeat
:Martin: It seems that we've got a clue.
:[Princess Aulia and the Dazzlings]: Gotta find the passion, passion, passion
:The Petrovburg Heroes: [gasp]
:Celestia: They must be a last-minute addition!
:Martin: Who?
:Jason: But they lost their voices! They gotta be using magic!
:Dennis: That or vocal processing?
:Jason: They wouldn't! Wait, what am I talking about? Of course they would.
:Luna: Who are you talking about?! [gasps]
:[Princess Aulia and the Dazzlings]
:Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
:Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
:Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find the magic
:Luna: Gah! It's Princess Aulia! She is back with her Dazzlings personnel!
:[Princess Aulia]: Let's find the magic
:[Princess Aulia and the Dazzlings]
:Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
:Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
:Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
:Ooh...
:[crowd cheers]
:Princess Aulia: [sighs] That song's called "Find the Magic". [under voice] People scums!
:[microphone feedback]
:Martin: Seriously?
:Tobias: The chord progression is kind of samey-samey.
:Martin: Princess Aulia and her Dazzlings are behind the time loop!
:Tobias: Still no excuse for lazy songwriting.
:Jason: So what are we gonna do?
:Luna: New mission – we have to get the Roman backstage. The Roman backstage passes are only good for day two, and we – the Petrovburg Heroes are not a V.I.P.
:Martin: [groans]
:Celestia: You're a V.-important-P. to me.
:Martin: There's an SF security guard – Mr. Trixie. The key is getting past him.
:Snips: Uh, we just want an autograph.
:Snips and Snails: [crying]
:Luna: Hmm...
:Vincent: He's terrible.
:Jason: Yikes!
:Tobias: Ya Allah...
:Celestia: The weak shall crumble before me! I got this!
:Martin: Wait! If you want to help, let Luna and I come up with a plan. No distractions, no detours, no... walking off while I'm talking to you.
:Celestia: Last summer, weren't we working at the, um...?
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: Cat food convention?
:Celestia: [off-sync] Cat food convention? Oh, that's right! Mm-hmm! Uh, you were the guy who–
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: Yeah. I... got... fired!
:Celestia: Because, mmm... now, what happened again?
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: I tried taking a kitten home with me, all right? But that's against the rules!
:Martin: [groans] If she blows this thing, I'll have to start all over tomorrow!
:Celestia: Was it an orange cat?
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: Little Roman! Ask me her name! See what happens!
:[beat]
:Celestia: What was her na—?
:[snip!]
:[door slams]
:Celestia: Ohhh. I guess I don't got this. [whimpers]
:Martin: You don't. But together, we do. For a time loopier, today's failure is tomorrow's success.
:[the next day]
:[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
:Jason: Romania Day One! Come and get it!
:[whack!]
:Jason: Heh. Sorry.
:Vincent: [laughs] Sorry.
:Celestia: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Whoa!
:[splat!]
:[beep]
:Princess Aulia: [under voice] People scums!
:[microphone feedback]
:[crowd cheers]
:Snips: Uh, we just want an autograph.
:Snips and Snails: [crying]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: [gasps]
:[soft pop music]
:Martin: Hi, sir. Say hello to Little Roman the kitty cat.
:[kitten purrs]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: [gasps, tearing up] Hello, Little Roman.
:Martin: If you spend all your time keeping people out, how are you ever gonna let anybody in... to your heart?
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: Astaghfirullah... Go ahead and go backstage, the both are yours, girls!
:Celestia: Really? Wow, thanks! Great idea, princess!
:Martin: We came up with it together.
:[click!]
:[van door opens]
:Duc Volpe: Ooooh, that was our best show yet!
:Cecil de Puce: The loop is really working.
:Princess Aulia: Of course it's working. It was my idea.
:Martin: I knew it! I bet Princess Aulia and her Dazzlings hiding Time Twirler somewhere in their tour bus.
:Celestia: Nice thinking. Also, looks more like a tour van to me.
:[van door closes]
:[van door opens]
:Martin: Stay here and stand guard. If you see anyone coming, sound the alarm. 
:[van door closes]
:Celestia: You got it! No one's gonna get by me! No way, no how! Nuh-uh! Nope! Nah, nah-ah!
:[]
:Princess Aulia: Wait. Did one of you remember to take the bread out of the toaster?
:Cecil de Puce: It's not my job to not start fires.
:Duc Volpe: [scoffs] How was I supposed to know you can't put tacos in the toaster?
:Princess Aulia: [groans] You two are so annoying. Let's go.
:[]
:Celestia: Keepin' watch. That's what I— [sniffs] What's that smell? [sniffs] Could it be? [gulps, gasps] Chef Nate's exclusive star-crusted, cinnamon-dipped churros! [whimpers] Now's probably not the best time to go get one. On the other hand, if I get two, then Princess Martin could have one with me. No! I will not give in! [swoons, slurps] No. No, no, no! [panting] So good... No! No! [whimpers]
:[]
:Martin: Not here. [groans] Ugh, where is it?
:[click!]
:Martin: Who leaves toast in a toaster? I swear.
:[van door opens]
:Princess Aulia: Don't even think about eating our toast! You must be Luna's wife!
:Martin: [nervous laugh, sighs] I was wrong. This is the worst possible time for churros.
:Princess Aulia: What are you doing on our bus?
:Martin: Sorry, not sorry, princess. But it's time to take this track off repeat. I heard you admit the time loop was your idea.
:Princess Aulia: Time loop? What? We looped a vocal track.
:The Dazzlings: [laughing]
:Princess Aulia: [gasps] Hey!
:Martin: You're telling the truth.
:Princess Aulia: Of course I am!
:Martin: But your song. "Every day is the same".
:Princess Aulia: That's about being stuck in this miserable Petrovburg with no magic or our hope of returning back to Equestria.
:Cecil de Puce: And by the way, if our Princess' magic afoot around here, we call dibs.
:Martin: I thought if anyone would want to be able to redo the day and fix their mistakes, it's you three! Especially you, Princess Aulia!
:Princess Aulia: We made the mistake of using our powers to manipulate all of Petrovburg – especially Canterlot Presidential University, and your pathetic husband – Luna, even to his treacherous family, and his useless friends. And we've paid the price for it with my curse magic.
:Duc Volpe: Unless you count the magic of vocal processing.
:Princess Aulia: Which I don't! What I'm saying is we already get a do-over with every new day. It's called living life.
:Duc Volpe: You should try it sometime.
:The Dazzlings: [laughing]
:Princess Aulia: Poor this Luna's wife... [to Martin] Are you mad?
:Martin: I don't get a new day, okay? I get this day forever! Nothing changes! I can't tell you how sick I am of Celestia ruining everything by running off to get churros! I hate churros!
:Celestia: Oh. I, uh... just wanted to say that Princess Aulia and her Dazzlings are back, but I see you look at them when you see them, and you've seen me too, so, um... see ya. [crying] Cool tour bus!
:Martin: No, Tia! I didn't mean it!
:Princess Aulia: If the day's always the same, maybe you're the one who needs to change.
:[van doors close]
:[van drives away]
:[]
:Celestia: [crying]
:[crowd gasping]
:Martin: Tia, wait up! I'm sorry.
:Celestia: It's okay! Did you convince the Dazzlings to break the time loop? [whimpering]
:Martin: No. It wasn't them, but their leader – Princess Aulia.
:Celestia: Oh. Well... I'm gonna find a nice line to wait in so I don't ruin it for you again. [sobs] You deserve to have a good day, princess. [crying]
:Martin: So do you, Tia.
:[the next day]
:[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
:Luna: [giggles]
:Jason: Romania Day One! Come and get it!
:Martin: Not today!
:Dennis: –"Get the chicken coop!"
:Vincent: [spit take, laughs]
:Celestia: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Celestia Diane!
:Martin: You call her, Tia, because you spell your own name with three I's!
:Vincent: Ohhhh. [laughs] Puns.
:[]
:Martin: In your face, mud!
:Luna: Uhhh, you okay, princess?
:Martin: Never better!
:Celestia: A line?! Ah! This Roman day is already amazing!
:Martin: I know! Pick whichever you want. They're all slow, but security is an art. It can't be rushed.
:[beep]
:Celestia: [gasps] Win a tandem bicycle?!
:[zip!]
:Dennis: You two have fun now!
:Celestia: All I have to do is guess how many candies are in the jar. And my sugar senses say... three hundred and five!
:[buzzer]
:Celestia: Awww.
:Martin: Five hundred seventy-two and a half, counting the green jellybean you ate part of in the parking lot.
:[]
:Celestia: Whee!
:Martin and Celestia: [giggling]
:[screech!]
:Celestia: [laughs, gasps]
:Martin and Celestia: [laughing]
:Celestia: Oh, princess! [laughs]
:[camera clicks]
:Martin and Celestia: [laughing]
:Martin: [whistles]
:Celestia: [gasps]
:[splat!]
:Martin and Celestia: [laughing]
:[stall door opens]
:Celestia: [giggling] This is the best day ever! And now, for the grand finale! Post—! [sniffs] What's that smell?
:Martin: You'll see.
:Chef Natalia Tokugawa: Tokugawa's exclusive Sweyn Forkbeard cinnamon-swirled churros! Get zem while ze're marginally fresher than a little bit!
:Celestia: [gasps] How did you know?!
:Martin: [muffled] Two, please.
:Celestia: [sniffs]
:Martin: You know, when I did things alone my way, I realized having a perfect day wasn't perfect without... you.
:Celestia: Awwww.
:[clang!]
:Martin: Ow! Mine's hard as a rock! This is like eating a crowbar.
:Celestia: [giggles] I know! [eating noisily]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival intern: [to Chef Nate] Your lousy golf cart broke down on me for the last time! Find someone else to deliver churros backstage to PostCrush, because I quit!
:[]
:Martin and Celestia: [laughing]
:Celestia: See what happens when you embrace the chaos of our friendship?
:Martin: This couldn't happen with all the mission-planning of the fight for Petrovburg.
:Celestia: Ooh, I hope they like us! You must've met them on one of the other days. Tell me what happens!
:Martin: [laughs] Nope. First time. And I'm glad it's with the other half of my dynamic duo. You ready?
:[knocking on door]
:[door slides open]
:Martin: Special delivery!
:Celestia: We are huge, huge, generous fans!
:Kyle Fegelein: Heeeey. The usual delivery guy looks like two girls today.
:[thud]
:Kyle Fegelein: I mean, today's the first time we have done this! Yesterday was, um... a different day.
:Martin: Today can be a funny thing.
:Roman Lollipop: Thanks for being fans, but we gotta... you know... get on stage.
:Celestia: Of course! We don't want to keep you. Come on, princess.
:Martin: But before you go on, at least give me the honor of shaking your hand. As a thank-you for all your music and anything else you might've done for me.
:Roman Lollipop: Anything for a fan.
:[whoosh!]
:Roman Lollipop: Tomorrow has to be perfect! We've only got one shot at this!
:Kyle Fegelein: [groans] As if I'm not super-duper aware, Roman!
:[shimmering sounds]
:Kyle Fegelein: Ooh!
:[zap!]
:[Roman Lollipop]
:(Yeah)
:[PostCrush]
:Be the true, true, true original
:Dare to be what you are meant to be
:[zap!]
:[PostCrush]
:Working hard, that's our thing
:All this way, we're perfect, perfectly true
:True, true original (x3)
:[zap!]
:[crowd cheers]
:Roman Lollipop: [groans] Your voice? So flat! Ugh! I can't!
:Kyle Fegelein: [groans] Whatever! We can just do it all over again!
:[zap!]
:Martin: [gasps] You found Time Twirler! You're the ones causing the time loop!
:Kyle Fegelein: Pause. How did you see my brain?
:Roman Lollipop: We're gonna loop our show 'til it's perfect! A fan girl like you wouldn't get it.
:Kyle Fegelein: Unless you're such a fan girl, you do get it.
:Roman Lollipop: You know fans can never get it.
:Martin: But I do. I wanted things to go perfectly, too. But now I know they never do.
:Kyle Fegelein: Then we. Stop. Never!
:Roman Lollipop: And now that we know you're in on our little secret, you'll never set foot inside this festival again!
:Martin: Go ahead. Take our pictures and hang them up. Tomorrow morning, they'll all disappear.
:Roman Lollipop: Ever heard of drawings?
:Martin: Everything resets!
:Kyle Fegelein: You don't, and neither do we. Now that I've seen your faces, I'm an art school dropout, and you better believe I can draw your faces so good, guards will ban you at the gate from now until 4eva!
:Roman Lollipop: 4eva-eva!
:Celestia: NO WAY!!!
:Roman Lollipop: Yeah, she can.
:Kyle Fegelein: Mmmm-hmmmm. Security! We got a code chartreuse – crazy fan alert!
:Martin: How are you gonna let anyone in if you keep kicking people out?!
:[door closes]
:Martin: Sh*t! Tonight is my last chance to stop this before I get banned for life!
:[a few moments later]
:Martin: [to herself] Think fast, Martin, you are Luna's dear girlfriend. Luna commands you, you must make him proud. Come on, think! Okay... If we climb up this tree, attach a rope there, and swing over and— [sighs] Who am I kidding? I'm done for.
:Celestia: At least we'll be together.
:Martin: You know what? That actually makes being trapped at an eternal music festival seem not half bad.
:Celestia: [sighs, sniffs] What's that smell? [sniffs] Could it be? [gasps] Tokugawa's exclusive star-crusted, cinnamon-dipped churros!
:Martin: Oh, yeah. Um, it was a little too inedible for my taste.
:[beat]
:Martin and Celestia: Like eating a crowbar!
:Celestia: [whispering] Churros is magic!
:[door opens]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: Hey! Friheten girls! I remember you two.
:Martin: Mr. Trixie?
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: Yeah. You respected my security line earlier today. So many of those kids just don't get it.
:Martin: We get it!
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: So I thought, "Hey, these gals aren't crazy fans. They're just regular fans. And they didn't do anything... illegal."
:Celestia: Weren't about to, either.
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: You're just big fans of PostCrush. And since security is all about karma, I thought it's only right you should be able to see the show.
:Martin: Mr. Trixie, you are the best security guard ever!
:Sweyn Forkbeard's security guard: Astaghfirullahal-adziim... [chuckles] Go on in, girls!
:[]
:Martin: I have been informed by Luna. He gives us a final mission – get Time Twirler from R-Lo's hair and turn it– twirl it off, or— [groans] Make it not work anymore! Wait.
:Celestia: What's wrong?
:Martin: It's just that... I've already seen PostCrush. But if we break the time loop right now, we won't. We're ruining PostCrush's only reunion show.
:Celestia: [scoffs] Are you kidding, princess?! They trapped Luna and his friends like us at a super fun music festival without me for weeks! They are so going down!
:[]
:Kyle Fegelein: [sighs] I'm getting tired of living the same day over and over. Can this please be our last performance?
:Roman Lollipop: We've been over this, Kyle. We don't stop until we get it perfect.
:[boom!]
:Celestia: Sorry to interrupt, buuuut—
:Martin: —you have something that doesn't belong to you.
:Kyle Fegelein: [gasps] Who let you two back in?!
:Martin: Security guards, by the way. [shows her scourge] My husband commands: give us Time Twirler, now!
:Roman Lollipop and Kyle Fegelein: Your husband?
:Martin: [shows photo of Luna] He's Luna – Luna Vernadsky, the miracle boy and the miracle ambassador!
:Roman Lollipop: You wouldn't dare! If you were real fans, you'd want this show to be perfect!
:Martin: Eh. Nothing's perfect. [to Celestia] Right, Tia?
:Celestia: Yup! [grunting] You just gotta make the best with what you've got!
:[clunk!]
:Roman Lollipop: [growls]
:Kyle Fegelein: Yah!
:Martin: [grunting]
:Roman Lollipop: Give it back!
:Martin and Roman Lollipop: [grunting] Whoa!
:[bing!]
:[whip!]
:[clatter!]
:Martin, Celestia, Roman Lollipop, and Kyle Fegelein: [grunting]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's festival announcer: Let me hear three big cheers for the two best friends who got back together for one incredible night! PostCruuuuush!
:[crowd gasps]
:Martin: [grunts]
:[magic sounds]
:[whoosh!]
:Roman Lollipop: [sobs] Our legacy is destroyed! Everything was riding on this show! [pointing at Martin] And you have ruined it on behalf of your husband's command!
:[crowd cheers]
:Martin: Are you sure about that?
:Roman festival crowd: [chanting] PostCrush! PostCrush! PostCrush!
:Martin: Your fans don't want perfection. They just want to see you rocking out and having fun. Sometimes, the flaws and silly mistakes are what makes the experience perfect. That's the best part about seeing live music. And it's the best part of being friends.
:[crowd cheers]
:Roman Lollipop: Heh. We did use to have a lot of fun.
:Kyle Fegelein: Guess we got so wrapped up in the pressure to be perfect—
:Roman Lollipop: —we forgot.
:Martin: So, R-Lo, what do you say?
:Roman Lollipop: I don't know. This one's for real.
:Kyle Fegelein: [sighs] Let's do it then, Friheten Girls. For real. It'll be you and me. Just like old times. Whatever happens happens.
LMB song: True Original
:[Roman Lollipop]
:Always first place, never second best
:Only high stakes, we aim to impress
:And there's no room for mistakes
:Yeah, we're flawless everyday, 'cause
:[PostCrush]
:We're all about perfection
:Projecting that pure reflection
:Exceeding your expectations
:[PostCrush]
:Be the true, true, true original
:Dare to be what you are meant to be
:Working hard, that's our thing
:All this way, we're perfect, perfectly true
:True, true original (x3)
:We're perfect, perfectly true
:[Roman Lollipop]
:Oh-oh, true original
:Oh, oh, hey, hey
:We're perfect, perfectly true
:True original
:Oh, oh, oh, oh
:[Martin and Celestia]
:But it's not about perfection
:Set off in your own direction
:Shake off the expectations!
:[All]
:You're the true, true, true original
:Dare to be who you are meant to be
:Free yourself, do your thing
:All your way, you're perfect, imperfectly you!
:True, true original (x3)
:You're perfect, imperfectly you!
:Roman festival crowd: [cheers, chanting] PostCrush! PostCrush! PostCrush!
:Martin: I think we just fought for Former President Sweyn.
:Kyle Fegelein: Yeah, you did it, princess.
:Roman Lollipop: Get over here and take a photo with us!
:Martin Now this is a perfect moment!
:Celestia: [squeals, giggles]
:[camera clicks]
:[Second Romania Day]
:Sweyn Forkbeard's P.A. system: [chanting] Deșteaptă-te, române, din somnul cel de moarte, În care te-adânciră barbarii de tirani... [continues under]
:[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
:Celestia: [snoring] Churros... Nom-nom-nom...
:Martin: ROMAN DAY TWO!
:Celestia: [gasps] Yes! We did it! [laughs] Woo-hoo! What do you wanna do today, Princess Martin?
:Martin: Whatever the day brings us. Yesterday was the longest three weeks of my life!
:[Luna appears]
:Luna: Good job, Princess Martin. You are my formidable girlfriend.
:Martin: [pinches Luna's cheek with adorable smile] Thank you so much, Luna.
:Celestia: Yes, I guess it would've been, princess. The rest of our friends and I hope that you two will get married soon. Hope you will become a pious mother, and Luna will become a pious father.
:Martin: Amen.
:Martin, Luna, and Celestia: [laugh]
:THE END
id: Transkrip/Lintas Panggung Rumania
Category:LMB transcripts