Bugle Forecast

At the end of each show the hosts, Misters Zaltzman and Oliver, make a prediction about the following week. These started out as simply weather forecasts, but have branched out to diverce topics (see below for more).
== Accuracy of Predictions ==
Mysteriously, these predictions have always been entirely accurate, and a team from the Royal Museum in Edinburgh has recently begun an investigation into this phenomenon, which was first brought to attention with the June 2008 squirrel massacre, where millions of squirrels were found violently murdered on the streets of Edinburgh.
The world's top scientists have refused to begin a detailed study into the accuracy of Bugle predictions as they fear a Bugle prediction about the accuracy of Bugle predictions during the middle of the study, which would rip a hole through the middle of the universe, leading to the destruction of all matter including noted civil rights activist Kerry Katona and the grave of the Who drummer Keith Moon.
== Uses of the Forcast ==
The Bugle forcast has been used by the Bush administration to solve America's economic problems, but forgot to convert it from metric so it obviously didn't work as planned.
== The Forecasts Themselves ==
=== Notes on the Forecasts ===
Just as no two snowflakes are alike, no two Bugle forecasts are the same. That being said, the forecasts generally follow this pattern:
*Intro to the forecast section
*Andy asks a question
*John answers the question
*Andy gives his prediction
*End of Bugle
Often however one host, or both, won't give their predictions. Or the forecast may be a statement, such as "there will not be a Bugle next week". For a fuller understanding of the variations of the forecasts see below, or better yet listen to all the issues of the Bugle yourself.
=== List of Forecasts ===
 
Issue # 	Forecast 	John's Prediction 	Andy's Prediction
1 	Weather Forecast for upcoming week 	Sunny 	Dank and Wet
2 	Weather Forecast for upcoming week 	Tornado warning for people of Lester 	No weather at all
3 	Halloween Forecast 	Trick to treat ratio of 27 to 73 	n/a
4 	n/a 	n/a 	n/a
5 	Breakfast Forecast 	There will be a return to running out and slaughtering own breakfast 	British breakfasts will have an average of 0.8 eggs, cereal heavy week, and mushrooms popular toward end of week
6 	Terror Threat Forecast 	Upgraded from tense to generally awkward. 	It will come down for he’s wearing a rucksack, I think I'll more just one carriage away... just to be on the safe side
7 	Seasons Forecast 	In the southern hemisphere, spring is likely to turn to summer 	In the northern hemisphere, autumn will turn into winter
8 	No Forecast; Replaced by Audio Advent Calendar 	n/a 	n/a
9 	Hanukkah Forecast 	Hanukkah will end on the 9th day on Wednesday, because 2007 is a leap Hanukkah 	n/a
10 	n/a 	n/a 	n/a
10A 	n/a 	n/a 	n/a
11 	Fashion Forecast 	We’ll see lots of flip-flops 	Lots of people wearing trousers
12 	Which day next week will be the best Forecast 	Saturday 	Wednesday
13 	Will Andy be alone in not completing his tax return in on time for the deadline Forecast 	n/a 	n/a
14 	Meal Forecast for Tuesday 	n/a 	Breakfast- light, requiring midmorning snack. Lunch- heavy, wearing, gluttonous, snooze. Tea & Biscuits perking up slightly. Dinner- tasty, fattening, heart attack, good.
15 	Forecast via Sausages 	For the economy... massive recession 	For the Super Bowl... will be a draw
16 	n/a 	n/a 	n/a
17 	How many Bagels will Andy Eat in New York Forecast 	5 	34
18 	Will it stop snowing long enough for Andy to get home tomorrow Forecast 	n/a 	"I might have to take out citizenship"
19 	Squirrel Roadkill Forecast 	17 	18
20 	Is John going to be alive for the next Bugle Forecast 	Not sure, but will be at the recording even if he is dead 	n/a
21 	How many Nostradamus Predictions will come true this week Forecast 	Just one, the one about metal birds shooting fire from their beaks. 	Two;
*France will dissolve
*A man with a pointy head will become badminton champion.
22 	Number of husbands who tried to explain being caught with another woman by calling "April Fools" Forecast 	16.9 million 	8.9 million
23 	Retrospective Grand National Forecast 	A horse is going to win it, named Horsy-Mc-Hoof-Hoof 	Will be won by a Jockey who's surname contains a vowel or by a horse with at least two hips.
24 	London Marathon Forecast 	Person in a Rhino costume will have won it 	Skinny person will have won it
25 	World Snooker Championship Forecast 	n/a 	Blue ball will be most important, and Physics will be the key force.
26 	Marriage Forecast 	n/a 	By the time this is aired Tom the producer will have gotten married.
27 	Which nation will Boris Johnson insult if he becomes Mayor of London Forecast 	Bolivia 	Armenia
28 	Whether or not ACC will actually end next week Forecast 	Please yes 	Like the life of Jesus, it never truly ends
29 	Democratic Vice Presidential candidate Forecast 	Bill Clinton 	Abraham Lincoln
30 	ACC Replacement Forecast 	An audio spot the difference 	An audio version of spot the difference
31 	Finding Life on Mars Forecast 	Yes; Jimmy Hoffa living comfortably. 	No, just look at the place it [that is, life] clearly isn't there
32 	n/a 	n/a 	n/a
33 	US Open Forecast 	Ernie Els will be eaten by a crocodile on the 12th green, then go on to win the tournament from inside the crocodile.	Phil Mickelson will [lose]... and tear his mask off and prove truly to have been the killer Charles Manson.
34 	n/a 	n/a 	n/a
35 	Won't be a Bugle next week Forecast 	n/a 	n/a
36 	Cure finding Forecast 	Lactose intolerance; just try not to think about it 	Falling over and impaling yourself on a metal spike; all over body armour
37 	What country will Obama live in if he decides to move to Europe Forecast 	He'll become President of All Europe 	Barcelona (for the great food)
38 	Will Andy finish writing his first show in time for the Edinburgh Festival Forecast 	No 	Yes
39 	Number of face plants at x-games Forecast 	At least 50 (all will be sick) 	More in this week then in the history of the x-games combined
40 	Will Andy get to his show in time Forecast 	It depends on how long this prediction takes 	It's looking less and less likely
41 	Andy getting wife a birthday present by Wednesday Forecast 	There's no way 	Surely a reference to my wife in the Bugle, that's present enough for any girl isn't it?
42 	Placard waving at Democratic Convention Forecast 	Score of 72.4 Goebbels on the scale of orchestrated overexcitement. 	Score in the low 80s
43 	Type of temple John McCain will appear in front of in St. Paul Forecast 	Aztec temple 	Pyramid, (McCain will be mummified)
44 	Andy's attempt to eat his weight in mozzarella Forecast 	No doubt [he'll be successful] 	"Those buffalos are going to have some sore tits by the time I'm done with them"
44.1 	n/a 	n/a 	n/a
45 	Who will go bust this week Forecast 	Microsoft; will be taken over by Manchester City football club 	
*The guy who sells flowers on the A40 out of London
*Bulgaria
46 	House ownership Forecast 	Just the porch 	Just roof with pillars on corners
47 	Bugle's Age Forecast (next week) 	1 year 	1 year
48 	Bugle life expectancy Forecast 	The Bugle will become powerful and we're going to franchise it out 	The Bugle will live for all eternity
49 	Number-of-meals Forecast for Andy and wife over weekend 	14 	n/a
50 	Asteroid-strike Forecast, before election 	Chances 7 or 8 to 1 	Hopefully not
51 	Who's going to win Forecast 	[Obtained due to gripping fear of one possibility] 	n/a
52 	How long will it take after Jan 20, for cynicism to set in Forecast 	A whole 3 months 	6 days
53 	How depressing will John find Las Vegas Forecast 	Very 	n/a
54 	Roulette Forecast (determined via average of bugler suggestions) 	Black 11 	n/a
55 	John will be back next week Forecast 	n/a 	Hoorraaayyy!!!
The Real 55	How many children will Andy have by next week? Forecast 	One, but the next one should be called Reebok. 	Two, possibly, and he's offering naming rights to Bugle listeners.
56 	Will Andy have a new child by next week Forecast 	Yeah, I think so. 	Come hell or high water, I will be in the studio with a baby, whether mine or somebody else's.
57 	Will Andy have ANOTHER baby by next week Forecast? 	Medically you'd say no... you're probably capable of anything. 	Now I've got the power to go up to a woman, lay my hands on her shoulders, and crouch down and catch something.
58 	Peace in the Middle East by next week Forecast/ Will Patrick Shannon have tracked us down and killed us Forecast	No/ I want to say 100% no, but I've read the email... there is the occasional misspelling of a psychotic. 	No/ There is certainly the lack of punctuation of someone who is prepared to take life.
59 	n/a 	n/a 	n/a}
Fuck you Chris
Category:Sections of the Bugle