Annoying Orange HFA: Fruit Plane!/Transcript

*(This episode begins at Daneboe's Grocery Market, where Nerville is putting a cover on a sign.)
*Orange: Hey, hey, Nerville, what you doing?
*Nerville: Hmm? Oh! Just setting up for tomorrow's big celebrity event.
*Orange: Oh. Why's it covered up?
*Nerville: (nervous) Uh... no reason.
*Passion Fruit: (amazed) Wow, a celebrity? In our store?
*Pear: I wonder who it could be.
*Marshmallow: I hope it's Lil' Squishy. He's my favorite marshmallow rapper.
*(It then transitions to Lil' Squishy, riding on a unicorn with Marshmallow 1 and Marshmallow 2.)
*Lil' Squishy: ♪Yo, got that vision on my unicorn, got some pitches in the back, trying to spend all my jellybeans. Yeah, pitches with a "P".♪
*(It then transitions back to Daneboe's).
*Nerville: Nope, not him.
*Grapefruit: I bet it's Dunk Merriman, the Mr. Fruitiverse champion. Dude is ripped. (A trumpet-like sound is then heard in the background.) Oh, what? My guy doesn't get a cutaway?
*Orange: Nobody wants to see muscle-y fruit. Nerville, just tell us who it is.
*Nerville: Okay, but you're not gonna like it.
*(Nerville then takes off the cover, revealing a sign that shows a man named Mr. Juicy Fun with a blender filled with fruit.)
*Fruits: Mr. Juicy Fun?!
*(Static then appears on the screen as we cutaway to a Mr. Juicy Fun commercial.)
*Mr. Juicy Fun: Ah! It's Obliterator Time, baby! That's right. You got the fruit, and in goes the fruit. And three, two, one. You hit the little button, and you're having fun. (laughs) Wee!
*Announcer: All this and more for only $19.95. Don't delay, order now! Call Mr. Juice!
*(A blender whirring is heard as the commercial ends. Back at Daneboe's, the fruits are screaming in fear.)
*Nerville: I knew you wouldn't like it.
*Pear: What do you expect? His Fruit Obliverator pulverizes fruit into juice in under three seconds.
*Midget Apple: We can't stick around for a Mr. Juicy Fun in-store appearance. We'll be juiced by that maniac.
*Nerville: You'll be fine. Well... no.
*Orange: Relax, guys. We can use my frequent flyer miles and finally take that group vacation to Donkey Island. (Orange takes out a brochure called Donkey Island. A donkey bray is then heard.) The magical vacation spot where fruit can become real boys and girls!
*Pear: We've never discussed that.
*Midget Apple: Who cares? It's better than a one-way trip to Blender Town.
*(All of the fruits murmur in agreement.)
*Orange: Then grab your passports, kids. We're flying to Donkey Island.
*(A donkey bray is then heard. Nerville then presses several buttons on the fruit cart. The cart then begins letting out steam and shaking. It grows wings, engines, and a fin. After a few seconds, the fruit cart completes the process to turn it into a plane.)
*Nerville: That's pretty good.
*(Banana, Orange, and Pear are then seen on a scanner.)
*Orange: Yay, radiation!
*Pear: What is wrong with you?!
*(Banana goes on the scanner, but it then starts beeping.)
*Security Guard #1: Sir, step out of line for a strip search.
*Banana: Well, I don't really like to move, but alright.
*(The security guards start walking over to Banana. Just then, Banana's peel opens. A woman is heard screaming in the background as a teddy bear, a purse, and a cheeseburger fall out of Banana's peel.)
*Banana: Uh, those aren't mine.
*(Orange and Pear then go through the scanner, which reveals the former and latter's underwear.)
*Security Guard #2: Nice undies, boys. They come in men's sizes? (laughs)
*Orange: Wow, fruit air security is humiliating.
*(Orange and Pear then start walking over to the plane.)
*Pear: Yeah, and with you being the pilot and all. You know, I'm surprised you're willing to fly the plane after what happened the last time you were behind the controls.
*Orange: I'm not the pilot. Why would you think that?
*Pear: Um, the pilot's cap.
*Orange: Oh, that's just for fashion. The real pilot's a seasoned vet.
*(We then go to inside the plane, where we find that the pilot is actually Grandpa Lemon.)
*Grandpa Lemon: Back in the Fruit Air Force, we all had cool nicknames, like Dak and Ripcord. Mine was Snoozy Boy. I can't remember why. (snoring) Oh, sauerkraut bombers?! Where?!
*Pear: That's a comfort.
*Grandpa Lemon: Welcome aboard. Hello. Thanks for entrusting your lives to us. Excuse me, stewardess. I could use a coffee.
*Peach: I am not the stewardess.
*Grandpa Lemon: (loudly) Speak up! I can't hear you! My ears must be plugged up from the altitude!
*Peach: We haven't even taken off yet!
*(Peach then goes over to her seat.)
*Coconut: Miss, can I get some peanuts?
*Peach: (aggravated) That's so offensive. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm a sky waitress.
*(Kiwi Flight Attendant then walks in.)
*Kiwi Flight Attendant: You know what else is offensive? Calling a flight attendant a sky waitress!
*Peach: Sorry.
*(We then go to the seats, where in one row sits Apple and Passionfruit, and in the row behind them sits Orange and Pear.)
*Passion Fruit: Aw, too bad, Orange. I was hoping we could sit together.
*Orange: Apple, switch seats with me.
*Apple: No way, Orange. I'm in the exit row. That requires someone responsible in case of an emergency.
*Orange: You're such an apple. Pear, switch with Passion Fruit.
*Pear: (nervous) That seat doesn't recline, and I'm a nervous flyer.
*Orange: Peach, will you switch with Pear?
*(We then go to Peach's row of seats, which consists of her and Midget Apple, and the latter is sitting on the window, looking around.)
*Peach: (romantically) Okay, I'd love to sit next to you.
*Orange: No, now you switch with Passion Fruit.
*Peach: And sit next to Apple? (disgusted) Yuck.
*Orange: Hey, hey, Tangelo.
*(We then zoom out to show the seats of the plane.)
*Orange: Switch with Pear, then with Peach, and Passion Fruit. Kumquat, switch with me. Star Fruit, switch with Persimmon.
*(The fruits then begin moving around to their new seats. Once they finish, Orange finds out that, unfortunately, he is sitting with Apple instead of Passion Fruit. Orange then groans in disappointment.)
*Apple: Oh, yeah, like I'm happy about it?
*(We then cut to another row of seats, which consists of Passion Fruit and Banana.)
*Banana: I don't really like to move, but all right.
*Passion Fruit: (deadpan) Oh, great.
*(Grapefruit gets in his seat, but he is squished in it due to it being too small. Just then, the PA turns on.)
*Grandpa Lemon: (announcing) This is your captain. If you look out the left side of your plane, you'll see the Grand Canyon. Ain't that a pretty...
*(We then cut to outside where three blueberries are removing the stairs off the plane.)
*Grandpa Lemon: Oh, what's that? Oh, we haven't lifted off yet. (chuckles) Oh, my bad.
*(We then cut back to the inside of the plane.)
*Kiwi Flight Attendant: People, this is a seat belt. If you don't know how it works, natural selection will probably take care of you soon enough.
*(We then cut to Midget Apple and Grapefruit's seats, the latter turning purple due to his small seat.)
*Midget Apple: Grapefruit, are you okay?
*Grapefruit: (straining)
*(We then cut to Pear, Kumquat, and Baby Kumquat's seats, and Baby Kumquat is crying.)
*Pear: Great. How long is this flight?
*Baby Kumquat: Dude, if you don't like my crying, just say so. Don't dance around it like some kind of passive-aggresive jerk.
*Pear: You're right, sorry. Uh, do you think you could tone it down?
*Baby Kumquat: No. The cabin pressure's murder on my delicate baby ears.
*(Baby Kumquat then continues crying. We then cut to outside, where Nerville is signalling the plane.)
*Nerville: Fruit Air, the runway's yours.
*(We then cut to back inside the plane.)
*Grandpa Lemon: Flight crew, prepare the rocket for liftoff.
*Kiwi Flight Attendant: Hey, oldie, this isn't a rocket, it's a... No!
*(Just then, the plane starts to take off.)
*Grandpa Lemon: To the stars!
*(At that moment, the plane starts to fly, causing some of the grocery store's aisles to get ruined. Nerville then ducks down so he doesn't get hit by the plane. When it leaves, it breaks one of the windows.)
*Nerville: You broke the window! Someone's got to pay for that!
*Orange: Don't worry, Nerville! I'll tell the manager!
*Nerville: I'll fix it. I'll fix it.
*(We then cut back to the plane.)
*Grandpa Lemon: This is a dangerous mission, men, and we may not survive. I'm sure the Sauerkraut Army would love to capture a fruit bomber full of American flyboys. That's why I removed all the parachutes! They'll never catch us alive! USA! USA!
*Kiwi Flight Attendant: Okay, let's relax with our in-flight movie, shall we? It's Worm Hunter, starring Jasper Jackfruit. Not one of his better films.
*Orange: Donkey Island, here we come! (A donkey's bray is then heard in the background.) Hey, I wonder what Nerville's up to.
*(We then cut to Daneboe's, and Mr. Juicy Fun has already arrived.)
*Mr. Juicy Fun: Where's the fruit, son?
*Nerville: Um, they flew away?
*Mr. Juicy Fun: You forgot the fruit?! What is the matter with you?!
*(Mr. Juicy Fun then throws the glasses at Nerville, who attempts to avoid them. We then cut back to the plane.)
*Jasper Jackfruit: I've had it with all these fruiting worms!
*(Jasper then aims a blowtorch at the worms. We then zoom out to find Orange watching the movie, while Apple looks at him in disgust.)
*Orange: (laughs) This movie rules.
*Apple: Ugh, pure schlock.
*Orange: Ugh, pure apple.
*(We then go to Passion Fruit and Banana's seats, the latter sleeping on the former's head.)
*Passion Fruit: Oh, I hate coach. Note to self: always fly fruit-class.
*Grandpa Lemon: Old Snoozy Boy is late for his nap. Better engage the autopilot.
*Autopilot: Thanks for the offer pal, but I'm already married. (laughs)
*Grandpa Lemon: Jovial response, and sleeping.
*(Right at that moment, Grandpa Lemon falls asleep.)
*Autopilot: Huh?! (Just then, some lemon juice falls on the controls.) Lemon juice! No!
*(Then, the plane controls start to short-circuit, causing the plane to start going through turbulence. Objects start to fly around as all the passengers start to scream, except for Orange.)
*Orange: Whoa, you can almost feel the turbulence.
*Apple: You dope, that's real turbulence!
*(Grapefruit is once again seen straining, while Midget Apple almost falls out of his seat. Pear goes to the head of the plane to see if everything is okay.)
*Pear: Hey, Grandpa Lemon, is everything... Holy fruit!
*Kiwi Flight Attendant: Yeah, that ain't good. Attention, passengers, we hope you're enjoying your flight, and, um... are there any pilots on the plane?!
*(The fruits then start screaming again, meaning there is no other pilot on the plane.)
*Pear: Everyone, stay calm! There's no reason to panic!
*Kiwi Flight Attendant: No, this is a great time to panic. And while you're at it, you can get your own peanuts and refreshments! This sky waitress is out of here!
*(Kiwi Flight Attendant then opens the door, and parachutes onto the ground. The fruits then start screaming in panic once again. As for Orange, he is just watching the movie.)
*Orange: Whoa! Look out, Jasper Jackfruit! The worms are right behind you!
*Passion Fruit: Orange, you've got to help!
*Orange: After the movie.
*Pear: No, Orange, now! Grandpa Lemon fell asleep and juiced the autopilot. You're the only one onboard with flight experience.
*Passion Fruit: And a cool pilot's cap.
*Orange: No way! Not after what happened last time I was at the controls. (We then flashback to Orange playing a video game on the fruit cart.) We're going down! (screaming)
*(The flashback then ends.)
*Passion Fruit: Orange, that was a video game.
*Orange: Then, I only crashed a fake plane?
*Apple: Yeah, but you've never flown a real plane, either.
*Orange: So my safety record is 100%? I'll do it!
*(The fruits then start cheering.)
*Apple: Why are you cheering? He doesn't know how to fly a plane.
*Marshmallow: Neither do you!
*Midget Apple: Hey, stop giving our kind a bad name!
*(It then cuts to the front of the plane, where we find Orange, Pear, Passion Fruit, and Grandpa Lemon.)
*Orange: Nerville, we're having a mayday situation up here.
*(We then cut back to Daneboe's, where Nerville is hiding under a table and speaking to the fruits through headphones.)
*Nerville: Ooh, I love May Day! That's when people dress up and dance around the maypole and...
*(It then cuts back to the front of the plane.)
*Orange: Different mayday. We've gone off-course, we're running out of fuel, and I'm flying the plane. (A split screen appears, showing both Nerville and Orange.) Though confidentally, I'm just flipping switches and pretending I know what I'm doing.
*Nerville: Oh. So, no maypole dancing, then?
*Orange: No. Can we make it to Donkey Island?