Demoman

The Demoman is a scrumpy-swilling demonstrations expert from the Scottish Highlands, and he's one of the more versatile members of the TF2 team. As an explosives expert, he only uses his only good eye and the knowledge of his surrounding environment to make epic well-timed detonations that send enemies skyward, often into many pieces of which will have to be glued together back in Hell. Can anyone get past his explosive ordinance? Probably not.
He is also not SoupCock Porkpie. Nor is he friends with Dic Soupcan or Seeman.
== History ==
Demoman was born a while ago. So long ago that color wasn't invented yet, but his shade was black. When he was a baby, he was called Demoman because the doctors said "It's a boy". No, I'm lying. They didn't call him "it" as that's very rude and degrading as "it" is reserved for objects only; what they really said was "HE'S A MAN!!!". His mom gave him a Scimitar after his 1st birthday and he used to to move around like Bennet Foddy in Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy. For a while, he was the world's coolest baby. Then he lost that title when he grew up because he was no longer a baby. Some time later, Demoman joined TF2 to become the 4th mercenary. He thought it was cool.
What's that? We forgot the part where he lost his eye? Uhh... yeah let's just say it wasn't pretty. When he was a kid, he opened up the Squadala Book and Squadala Man got very mad at him so kidnapped him and tortured him in his evil Squadungeon. But then in his left eye had ejected itself from his body and then became Spazmatism. It had manifested from Demoman's will to live and kicked Squdala Man's a** with its Glaucoma powers. His eye also broke him free so he could get his a** outta there before the place burned to the ground. Demoman years later would feed his freed eyeball some iron so it could do Mitosis as a gesture of gratitude.
== Politics ==
The Demoman supports democracy because he thinks it's "a system of government where the Demoman has supreme power", which is why he advocates for it everywhere and then claims to be in charge of a lot of places (including Scotland). Maybe the alcohol has gotten past his liver and up to his brain... Oh yeah, did I mention? The only things this guy likes to do is pyrotechnics, drink alcohol, and use the Sword of Epic to kill people. Not pyrotechnics or booze? He will not give a heck at all and use the Sword of Epic on you. Don't try it guys.
Category:Team Fortress 2
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Category:Scottish
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Category:Crazy guys
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