The Bleakening

"The Bleakening (Parts 1 and 2)" is the sixth and seventh episode in Season 8, being the one-hundred-and-thirty-fifth and one-hundred-and-thirty-sixth episode overall. It is the 2017 Christmas-themed episode and premiered as an hour-long combined episode on December 10, 2017. It feature guest appearances from Todrick Hall, Adam Driver, and John Early reprising his role as Dalton Crespin from "Brunchsquatch."
==Plot==
Linda is determined to host a party at the restaurant, in an effort to spread a little extra cheer around the neighborhood. But when she realizes that her prized ornaments have been stolen, she quickly begins questioning all guests, including Marshmallow's friend - Art the Artist. However, the kids have their own theory, attributing the robbery to the anti-Santa - The Bleaken.
==Synopsis==
===Part I===
At the Belcher apartment one early morning, four days before Christmas, Linda wakes up from a dream and wakes up Bob. She tells him she had a dream where they threw an incredible Christmas party that was perfect and thinks she knows what they have to do. Bob wants to go back to sleep, but Linda tells him that people have been sad and that it’s been a tough year, so they should throw the party from the dream to spread cheer and even “save Christmas”. She wants to throw the party in the restaurant that afternoon and Bob agrees but tells her not to go crazy, as they need to buy and wrap presents. But Linda disagrees, and tells him in song that in her dream that the whole town was there by an eggnog river with meat-carving stations, guests from other countries, an ice skating rink, and so on, which Bob dismisses as he tries to fall asleep (only for Linda to use their blanket as a dress in the song).
In the morning, Tina is surprised that a dream told Linda to hold a Christmas party that day at the restaurant, while Linda watches a newscast on the closure of The Wiggle Room, a gay nightclub which has been shut down and begun to be torn down due to city code violations. Linda starts gasping and runs to the living room, sawing off the top of the family Christmas tree to make a miniature one for the restaurant, as they need to make extra effort at the party after the sad news story. She relocates ornaments the kids have made in previous years that she loves to the tree top. Louise is more interested in presents, having even sent an online gift registry link to her parents. Linda loves the little tree, deciding to put on more ornaments and then invites people to the party.
At the restaurant, the holiday party is in swing, with Mort, Mike, Teddy, Janine, and Dalton Crespin in attendance, while Bob serves sliders which Teddy takes plenty of and Mort criticizes for being ice cold. Linda asks Edith and Harold about her mini tree, which has her favorite ornaments and a porcelain baby angel topper, Edith says she likes it but wants to go to other side of the room while Harold wants eggnog. 
Teddy asks the kids if they have been good all year, and hopes “the Bleaken” doesn’t come. The kids have no idea what he’s talking about so he explains: The Bleaken, known in different cultures under different names, is an anti-Santa, a horned creature with lizard skin and black feathers, who according to his nana fed off anger and sadness. The kids ask what happened when the Bleaken came, and Teddy tells them the Bleaken steals presents and takes them back to its lair. Teddy also says he thinks he saw the Bleaken once, when he was little, thought he admits his nana always used to give him wine. The kids are freaked out, so Teddy tells them it is probably just a story.
Jimmy Pesto and Trev arrive at the party, invited by Linda as a “Christmas ceasefire”. Jimmy however still insults Bob and walks off, to Bob’s annoyance. Later, Linda thanks Dalton for coming, who is trying to drink his way through the holidays since his ex-boyfriend is dating another one of his exes, and Linda gives him champagne. Marshmallow arrives with her friend Art, who is an artist, and Linda says she is sorry to Marshmallow, who used to go to the Wiggle Room and sad to see it gone.
Later, Linda waves people who are leaving at the end of the party and thanks them for attending. Despite the way the party turned out less than in her dream, she thinks they spread Christmas cheer and is happy with her tree, only to look and see it missing from the counter. Linda is distraught as the kids deny moving the tree. Linda calls the police three times, with Sergeant Bosco finally arriving late, who tells the kids to make new ornaments and chides the Belchers for supposedly wasting his time. Bob tries to reason with him, but Bosco tells them there has been a rash of Christmas-related thefts all over town, including inflatable Santa Clauses, which upsets Teddy as he has one and already put it outside. An apathetic Bosco leaves, and Linda rejects the advice to make new ornaments, instead wanting the old ones back. She figures that they can figure it out without Bosco; whoever stole the tree was a party guest, so they will question everyone they invited. Bob tells her Christmas is in three days, but she is angry and wants her ornaments. 
Two days before Christmas, Linda is in the restaurant, writing out everyone who was at the party, and adds Mort back as a suspect due to the slider. Bob notes Jimmy is a prime suspect, and an angry Linda goes over to interrogate him with Bob in tow, while the kids are sent upstairs to make the coupon books they never honor. Jimmy mocks the crime as himself stealing Bob’s customers, but is shocked when Linda accuses him of stealing the mini-tree, and confesses that he took some fudge from the party’s snack table in put it in their urinal as prank, then left early. Bob and Linda admit that Jimmy didn’t do it, before Linda notices a security camera in Pesto’s, and tells Bob Mort has a security camera on the funeral home.
At the apartment, the kids are making their coupons, which include things like “200-minute foot massage from Tina” when Louise says she has an idea who stole the tree and all the other stuff Bosco mentioned: the Bleaken, and proposes that they stop him before he steals their presents. She explains that they need to find the Bleaken and scare it out of town while Tina suggests they ask for Linda’s tree back.
At the funeral home, Bob, Linda and Mort are in Mort’s office, looking at security footage from the camera pointed at the entrance to the restaurant, where Linda notices Harold and Edith leaving suspiciously, with Edith hiding something under her coat. The couple walks over to Reflections, where no one is inside and Bob wants to leave, but Linda sneaks to the door in the back and opens it. Inside, they see Edith and Harold overseeing an art class doing live nude drawing of Art, and Edith tells them to go away. Linda shows the still of Edith holding something under her coat, and Bob asks for the tree back, but they deny it and show that they stole the Belcher’s cookie platter (as they have had life-drawing classes all week and didn’t have time to go for snacks at the store). 
Linda points out to Bob that Art, the life model, was at their party, and tells off the owners before questioning Art. Art says that after the party, he went to the store, got nude and had a cookie, but he did not have the tree and the class can vouch for him. Linda believes him and apologizes for intruding, while Art says he hopes they find the tree and Bob says they should go back to the restaurant. Linda wants to find the ornaments, so Bob goes back while she looks. 
On Christmas Eve in the daylight, Linda crosses off all her suspects but is no closer to finding the tree. She decides to go back out and question everyone again, but stops when Bob points out they have not wrapped the presents for the kids yet (mostly her, as he wraps like a “drunk, blind bear” in her words). Linda admits she may have gotten overly focused on getting her tree back, and decides to let it go, to Bob’s surprise. Just then the kids enter the restaurant and tell her they have a theory about the tree, which draws Linda back in. The kids say it was the Bleaken, to Bob’s skepticism as he says the Bleaken is not real, which Linda concurs with. Louise says they are worried about her, and worried their presents might get stolen, but Bob says they should just act as normally as they do and just enjoy Christmas the next day and whatever presents they get.
Later, the kids are walking down the street, with Louise saying that if their parents don’t believe them, maybe the cops will. At the police station however Bosco, dismisses them and tells them it is just “punk kids” stealing Christmas stuff around town, when Louise notices a pushpin map behind him of the places robbed (that Bosco bothered putting up anyway before he ran out of pins). Louise manages to distract Bosco while she uses the emergency cell phone to snap a photo of the map, before faux apologizing to Bosco. Outside, Tina notes Louise got out fast, when she shows them the photo of the map. With the locations, they can triangulate the Bleaken’s nest, and finds a spot in the exact middle of the map she suspects is the lair. She proposes that after Christmas Eve dinner that night, that they sneak out, find the lair, and possibly find their mother’s tree.
At dinner, Bob notes the kids are quiet, while they all pretend the dinner ham will make them sleepy. In his garage, Teddy is looking to figure out the thief or thieves behind the thefts, and puts clear tape over his inflatable giant Santa’s mouth. At the Belcher’s, dinner is finished, and the kids put out cookies and milk for Santa, while Linda is sad and broken at the loss for her mini-tree. After their parents check on them sleeping, the kids wake up and sneak out into the night.
===Part II===
In another part of town, the kids are searching the abandoned snowy streets with a flashlight as Tina looks at the photo on the phone for the location, which is in an abandoned warehouse at the end of the street. Tina is scared and wants to call home, while Louise says they won’t as they have gone rogue, and they are doing it for their mother, and presents. Tina however uses the phone in secret to call Linda’s phone. A sleepy Linda picks it up from her bedside and answers, while Tina talks loudly about them being at the corner of Garfield and Jackson, so Linda can hear them. Linda wakes Bob, thinking Tina butt-dialed them, and tries to talk to Tina who does not respond so her siblings do not get suspicious. 
Just then, Louise finds the ornament Gene made long ago in the snow, but then find black feathers as well nearby. The three are scared, with Tina wanting to call for backup, but Louise says there is no time, and then finds footprints in the snow before her flashlight dies. The three walks down the street, trying to hide their terror at the prosect of actually fighting the Bleaken.
Outside Teddy’s house, Teddy inflates the giant Santa in the front yard, with himself inside it, hoping to catch whoever is stealing Christmas decorations. 
The kids arrive at the warehouse, looking for a way to get in, grab the ornaments, and get out. However, they haven’t been able to find a door. Just then, Tina notices that the footprints go into a nearby alley with a ditch, but then suddenly disappear. A frustrated Louise kicks a can, which stops midair in the alley. She walks over, and the three find that it is in fact a wall with a super realistic perspective mural painted on it. Louise manages to find the door, which is unlocked. Inside, they find a brick stairway that leads down with a single light, which frightens them. Louise asks about weapons, but Tina points out they have none as she didn’t bring up the subject until then. Louise says she has some: a ruler, and a dolphin keychain. Tina takes the ruler, Gene takes the keychain, while Louise says she has a knife and Mace, and all three walks down the stairs. 
At the bottom of the stairs, however, is only a small brick room with no doors and one light, and Tina learns the hard way that there is not another mural. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda are driving to find the kids, but the streets Tina gave over the phone don’t intersect, with Linda admitting her daughter is not good with directions (thought to be fair, no on in their family is). She panics at her children being in danger, while Bob fails to calm her. Linda thinks it is all her fault for spending too much time and focus on the ornaments investigation, although she gets mad when Bob agrees, and he reluctantly agrees with her saying it is both their fault. They find the kid’s tracks at the corner of Garfield and Johnson, which Tina misread (and Bob points out they haven’t bought her new glasses since she was six), and Linda is anguished at her children being inside the warehouse. 
Meanwhile, Teddy stands in his inflatable Santa, keeping an eye out. Just then his neighbor, Mrs. Chang, stops by with her dog, who poops on the ground by Teddy/the Santa’s feet, and does not pick it up. Teddy is angry to realize she is the one who doesn’t pick up around there, but then the smell hits him, and he is trapped.
The kids are still in the brick room at the bottom of the stairs, having pushed every brick in there to no luck. Tina hears someone coming, and thinking it is the Bleaken or a minion, the three are terrified when Louise figures why there is a staircase to nowhere: to trap someone. They hide behind a wall next to the staircase, planning to jump whoever is coming. They do, but then stop when they realize they’re hitting their parents. After stopping, the kids explain they thought they were “Blinions”, while Bob says the kids butt-dialed them to locate them, with Louise suspecting Tina who then confesses. After asking how long it took for them to figure out the door (with Bob saying too long and Linda thinking it is a kind of mirror), they all hear a loud boom. 
Tina sees the stair step rattling, and finds it is hollow. Louise and Bob lift it up, finding another secret staircase and hallway. Bob wants to go home, but Louise says they have come too far and could find the Bleaken. Bob once again says the Bleaken isn’t real, but Louise pulls out Gene’s ornament, shocking Linda, and Louise says they found it there. She also explains how they used the map of robberies and found the feathers and footprints, so something is going on. Bob says there is no way they are spending Christmas Eve in a “dark, scary warehouse”, but Linda says that she is not saying the Bleaken took her ornaments, but whoever stole them is likely in that warehouse, and she is not leaving until she gets the ornaments back. After refusing to let her search the warehouse alone, the rest of the Belchers go along, but they all stay behind Bob, and they leave in 20 minutes no matter what. 
Using the ruler from Tina, Bob leads the family down the stairs, finding a metal door while noting it is a bad idea. Inside his inflatable Santa, Teddy continues to look out for thieves. Through the doors, the family find a hallway with two ends, and Linda refuses to turn back, so they head forward. Just then, the lights cut out, and they wait for them to come back on. The lights do, but then the family see a humanoid being with a skull head, feathers and horns at the end of the hall, causing them to scream before it disappears. Realizing they probably saw a Bleaken, Bob wants to head back, but Linda says they have to keep going forward. Bob leads the wall, and finds another door, with the family standing way back, as he opens it. 
However, instead of a monster’s lair, it’s a darkened Christmas-themed rave with decorations and trance music as everyone dances. Louise is disappointed that instead of the Bleaken’s nest, it’s a bunch of people dancing like nobody is watching, when Linda spots her tree atop a bunch of sound speakers on the stage across from them. Looking around, the family notice other things stolen from around town decorating the place, angering Linda further. Just then, DJ Elev-8 comes on the speakers form his turntables on the stage, to tell everyone that it’s a few minutes until midnight and Christmas morning, turning up the volume on the music. Bob says they can sneak over to the tree and steal it back without anyone noticing, but Linda decides to grab the mic to give the ravers a piece of her mind, despite Bob’s protests. 
Linda tells Bob to get the tree from the top of the speakers, which he notes is very high up, while the kids stand under him in case he falls. Meanwhile, Teddy tries to get away from the dog poop, managing to loosen the hollow Santa from the ground, but trips while trying to walk, and falls face first, and manages to push himself onto his back. At the rave, Bob notes as he climbs the sound system speakers that it is the stupidest way to die while his kids fail to encourage him. At the stage, Linda takes the DJ mic, and as Elev-8 looks to shut it off, she tells the ravers that Christmas is not about stealing things and secret tunnels, when one of them says they don’t have a permit, hence the security, while another says that no one stole anything. 
Linda does not believe them and says they are taking back her treetop, which draws everyone’s attention to Bob as he picks up the tree while Linda laments she will not get her Christmas spirit back. Just then, the lights go out, and a single light glows behind a person. The crowd gasps, as a drag queen who usually goes by “Cleavage to Beaver” but tonight going by “Miss Triple X-Mas”, decked out in a winter-themed dress and get-up, and as it is now officially Christmas, begins singing a Christmas song called “Twinkly Lights” (a very-LGBTQ-empowering song using light metaphors), with an amazing light display that enraptures the Belchers. 
Linda looks down and sees Marbles, Marshmallow and Dalton among the dancers, while the kids talk to a raver in a Bleaken costume of a skull head with antlers, a fur shoulder liner, a chest strap, and clawed gloves, and realize it was just a person in a costume they saw. Linda grabs the DJ’s mic again to apologize, and say she was sorry as she could not see them and thought they were just kids, and that she may have given up on Christmas. Another raver wants her to tell them later, but she confesses that before she got inside, she called the cops and told them the Christmas thieves were in the building, but now wishes she could undo it. 
Miss XXX-Mas realizes the cops will shut them down, and everyone in mad (with Marshmallow even refusing to acknowledge a greeting from Bob) or despondent. Linda admits she ruined their party, but was so mad that someone stole her ornaments. Finally, Art steps forward and confesses he stole the ornaments, the lights and everything else in there, but him alone. He was put in charge of decorations, but he didn’t have any money and thought if he “borrowed’ stuff then no one would be hurt, and put up the hole displays. Louise asks how he got the tree, and Art says he hid it in the dumpster in the alley (to Linda’s horror) and came back for it after his nude modeling. He says the party is usually at the Wiggle Room, and is important to a lot of people, and he had a dream of making it look beautiful, to bring people some light. 
Linda gasps and says she had the exact same dream for her Christmas party, when one of the partiers bursts in to say the cops are outside. As everyone laments the party’s end, Bob addresses them with an idea; as they (really Linda) called the cops, the least they can do is save the party, but he needs the Bleaken costume.
Outside, Bosco and an officer are in a patrol car looking for a door, when Bob, in the Bleaken costume, gets their attention by waving his arms and saying he is the Christmas thief. Bosco and the officer drive off after him, with Bosco hoping to hit him with the car. The diversion works, and the partiers cheer as they start dancing again. Meanwhile, Teddy manages to finally lift himself up while in the giant vinyl Santa, when Bob runs down the street. Teddy sees him and thinks the Bleaken is real as Bob accidentally runs into him. The two tumble, but realize who the other is, and Bob picks Teddy up. But before they can explain, Bob sees the cops and needs to hide, and teddy offers a place. Bosco and the officer give up and go off for food, while Bob and Teddy both hide in the inflatable Santa. Bob notes that they could have gone into Teddy’s house, but Teddy keeps shushing him.
At the rave, the kids sit on the stage as Louise says that while there was no Bleaken, she wishes she could have fought him, while Tina says maybe there is a Bleaken but they scared him away. Louise says she might be right, as they watch a hyper Linda dancing in the crowd. On Christmas morning, Linda is still hyper and dancing, having not slept or even sat down all night due to someone giving her “something” at the party, and she says she feels amazing before crashing and falling asleep on the floor. Bob wishes everyone a Merry Christmas as he checks Linda’s pulse and makes sure she’s okay.
==Videos==
The Kids Learn About The Bleaken Season 8 Ep. 6 BOB'S BURGERS
Linda Sings About Her Christmas Dream Season 8 Ep. 6 BOB'S BURGERS
Linda Entertains Her Guests Season 8 Ep. 6 BOB'S BURGERS
Linda Gets Her Christmas Tree Stolen Season 8 Ep. 6 BOB'S BURGERS
==External links==
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Category:Episodes
Category:Christmas Episodes
Category:Season 8 Episodes
Category:Hour-long Episodes
Category:Episodes with Cold Opens
Category:Episodes Written by Steven Davis
Category:Episodes Written by Kelvin Yu
Category:Episodes Directed by Brian LoSchiavo
Category:Episodes Directed by Chris Song
Category:2017 Episodes
Category:7ASA Episodes