Meet the Strauds

All this has happened before, and it will all happen again. But this time, it happened in London. It happened on a quiet street in Bloomsbury. That corner house over there is the home of the Straud family, and Kristoff Pan chose this particular house because there were people who believed in him. There was Mrs. Straud.
In the bathroom of the corner house, there was a kind old woman with gray eyes. She had grey hair tied in a bun, rosy skin, and glasses. Right now, she was wearing a white petticoat, matching bloomers, stockings, and indigo pumps. Her name was Widow Tweed. And she was busy fixing her hair in front of the mirror for a ball.
"Geppetto dear, do hurry," Tweed called out. "We mustn't be late for the party, you know."
Mrs. Straud believed that Kristoff Pan was the spirit of youth. But Mr. Straud...
In the bedroom, there was a kind, but sometimes grumpy, old man with white hair and mustache, blue eyes, and a red nose, wearing glasses, a white dress shirt, teal pants, and brown shoes with gray spats over them. His name was Geppetto, Tweed's husband. And he was looking for his gold cuff links through some drawers.
"Tweed, unless I find my cuff links, we don't go to the party," Geppetto called back. "And if we don't go to the party, I can never show my face in my workshop again. And if I can never--"
Unfortunately, he got cut off by bumping his head on the open top drawer.
"OUCH!" cried Geppetto, as he hopped around, holding his head.
Well, Mr. Straud was a practical man. The boys, however, Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, Hiro Hamada and Tommy Pickles, believed Kristoff Pan was a real person and made him the hero of all their nursery games.
In the nursery, we see two shadows fighting each other with toy swords. One has one in its left hand and a hanger in its right while the other has another in its right hand.
One of the shadows belonged to a Japanese boy who was a slender teenager of 14 who was 5 feet tall with fair skin, messy black hair, brown eyes, and a slight gap between his teeth, wearing black square glasses, a dark blue top hat with a gray ribbon around the "dome", red pajamas that consist of a long-sleeved jacket with buttons and pants, white socks, and blue slippers. His name was Hiro Hamada, Geppetto and Tweed's grandson. And he was the one with the hanger in his right hand and the toy sword in his left.
The other shadow belonged to a small, slender baby boy of 1 with fair skin, blue eyes, and no hair or teeth, wearing a diaper and sky-blue footy pajamas. His name was Tommy Pickles, Geppetto and Tweed's other grandson and Hiro's little brother. And he was the one with the sword in his right hand.
Playing Kristoff's comrade is a slender young Danish man of 21 with fair skin and a light dusting of freckles across his nose, auburn hair, sideburns, and "dreamy" green eyes, wearing navy blue and magenta striped pajamas that consist of a long-sleeved jacket with buttons and pants, white socks, and black slippers. His name was Hans, Geppetto and Tweed's other grandson, and Hiro and Tommy's big brother.
"Blast you, Kristoff Pan!" Hiro said in a scary voice.
"Come on, Kristoff!" Hans cheered.
Tommy bonked his brother on the head twice with his sword. "Take that!" he cried. Then he and Hiro blocked their toy swords together. "Give up, Warren T. Rat?" he smirked, "Give up?"
"Never!" called Hiro. Then he opened a drawer that was underneath Tommy's pajama-clad feet with the hanger, and he fell in as Hans pretended to gasp, saying, "You coward!"
Hiro yelled, "Coward? Me? Well, I'll teach you to cut off me paw!"
Just about then, a slender, beautiful Norwegian girl of 18 with fair skin, light freckles, rosy cheeks, pink lips, long strawberry-blonde hair with a platinum blonde streak, and turquoise-blue eyes walked in. She was wearing a magenta undershirt and blue pajama pants. Her name was Anna, Geppetto and Tweed's granddaughter, Hans' little sister, and Hiro and Tommy's big sister. She was also carrying a jug.
"Oh no, Hiro," Anna giggled. "It was the left hand."
"Oh, yes. Thank you, Anna." said Hiro, as he switched the hanger from his right hand to his left and the sword from his left hand to his right.
Anna, the middle child, not only believed. She was the supreme authority on Kristoff Pan and all his marvelous adventures.
While Anna was in the hallway, she sighed as she talked to two figures, "Oh, Spike, Fifi. Must we always take that nasty tonic?"
The figures walked out to reveal a male dog with light brown fur, gray spots, and a brown nose, wearing a red collar with a gold license named Spike and a female poodle with periwinkle fur, creamy wool, and a plum-colored nose, wearing a blue jeweled collar named Fifi. Spike was carrying a tray of four spoons and a bottle of tonic for Anna, Hans, Hiro and Tommy. Fifi walked over a pillow.
Spike and Fifi the butler and nursemaid, being two dogs, kept their opinions to themselves and viewed the whole affair with a certain tolerance.
Spike put the tray on a small table. Then he went over to the pillow to pick it up while Hans, Hiro, and Tommy were still playing.
"Take that!" Tommy called.
Hiro and Tommy played around, hopping around the beds. "Insolent man, I'll slash you to ribbons!" Hiro yelled.
Spike went to the bed, placed the pillow there, and fixed up the sheets and blanket up. "And I'll cut you to pieces! Aha!" Tommy called.
As he hit Hiro, the Japanese boy yelped in pain. "Ouch!"
"Are you all right, Hiro?" asked Hans.
"Yeah." Hiro said to Hans, but then to Tommy, "Careful, Tommy, my glasses!"
"I'm sorry, Hiro." Tommy said.
Then Fifi picked up two blocks and went to the other blocks. Hiro and Tommy hopped back to the bed, messing it up again. "Ah! You'll never leave this ship alive!" Hiro shouted.
So both of them bounced up and down as the pillow fell off again. "Oh yes, I will," Tommy shouted back. "Take that!"
When Fifi placed the ABC on the top, she and Spike quickly turned as they realized that Fifi had made a mistake. She got them to BAC. So she took the A block, moved the B block, and placed it to the first. She and Spike smiled and walked to the tonic for the kids.
"Scuttle me bones, man! I'll slit your gizzard!" Hiro yelled, as he stabbed as his wooden sword. It ripped through the sheets, shocking Hans and Tommy on what he did.
"Oh! Hiro!" Hans groaned.
"Didn't mean it." Hiro grinned sheepishly.
Then Spike poured on the spoons. "Oh, no, you won't," Tommy cried. "Back! Back! Back, you villain!" As they moved through the sheets, he pushed his wooden sword against Hiro's.
"Insolent pup!" Hiro snarled.
Spike heard that as he turned, only to get the tonic on his paw. He put it down. "Wicked cat in rat's clothing!" Tommy cried.
"Aha! I got you!" Hiro shouted.
"You didn't either. You never touched me!" Tommy smirked. When Spike licked it off, he was grossed out by the taste. "Take that! And that! And that!" When Tommy thrust his sword at Hiro, he got it under his arm as if he made it look like he got him.
Pretending he was dead, Hiro placed a hand over his chest, groaned a fake death groan, and collapsed to the floor.
Hans clapped for Hiro and Tommy. "Good show, gentlemen!" he cheered. That's when Geppetto came into the nursery.
"Boys, boys. Less noise, please." Geppetto said, without looking where he was going. He knocked the blocks down as Spike and Fifi heard that, and they had to get them back together as they frowned in annoyance.
Hiro saw him. "Oh, hello, grandpa." he said in a normal voice. But Tommy was still playing.
"You old bilge rat!" Tommy cried out.
Then Geppetto heard that and was insulted. "Wha- wha-what? Now see here, Tommy!"
"Oh, not you, grandpa." replied Hans, "We were just playing a game involving Kristoff Pan."
"You see, he's Kristoff Pan." Hiro told him.
"And Hiro's Warren T. Rat." Tommy added.
"And I was just being Kristoff's comrade." Hans declared.
"Yes, yes, of course. Er, have you seen my cuff links?" Geppetto asked before he bumped Spike and Fifi, knocking the blocks down again. "Oh, Spike and Fifi, for goodness' sake!" Geppetto, walking past the annoyed dogs, "Where are those cuff links?" Spike smashed the last blocks that were standing with his paw. Fifi only rolled her eyes.
"Cuff links, grandpa?" asked Hiro.
"Yes. The gold ones." Geppetto answered, still looking around.
"Tommy, the buried treasure," Hiro whispered to his brother. "Where is it?"
"I don't know, Hiro." Tommy said in an innocent way.
"The map then… Where's the treasure map?" Hans whispered.
"It got lost." Tommy said.
While Geppetto was looking around the bed, he then spotted something under the covers, he was shocked as he shouted, "Good heavens! My shirt front!" He grabbed his shirt front.
"Hurray! You found it! You found it!" Tommy cheered.
Geppetto put it on, as he turned. He didn't know that it got chalk all over his shirt front, the one that looked like the lost map. "Yes, so I have. And hereafter..." As then, Tommy came and pulled his shirt front "Don't paw me, Tommy! This is my last clean..." It was loose as he has saw something shocking and horrifying. He saw a lost map. "No..." He can't say something, only he covered his shirt front shouting, "NO!"
Tweed, now wearing a royal indigo ball gown, matching silk gloves, and a beaded necklace, came in and said, "Geppetto dear, we really must hurry or we'll be late."
"Tweed! Look!" Geppetto said, showing Tweed his chest armor.
Tweed saw that and was shocked. "Geppetto!"
"It's only chalk, grandpa." Tommy said.
"Tommy's right." Hans said.
And Tommy finished, "It said on the box it washes off clothes easily.
"Why, Tommy..." Tweed was about to say something when Hiro cut in.
"It's not his fault," said Hiro. "It's in the story. And Anna said..."
When Geppetto heard what Hiro said, he now knew what was up. "Anna? Story? I might have known." He walked to the door as he called out, "ANNA?" He crossed his arms and called out even louder. "ANNA!"
Anna heard him, walked in, and asked, "Yes, grandpa?"
"Would you kindly expl-" Geppetto was about to say something. But Anna walked by him when she saw the radiance of Tweed's dress.
"Oh, grandma! You look simply lovely!" Anna said.
"Thank you, dear." Tweed smiled.
Geppetto turned to her in annoyance and said, "Anna..."
"Just my old gown made over but it did turn out right. And I-" Tweed was about to say.
"Tweed, if you don't mind, I'd..." Geppetto said, as Anna turned and saw his shirt front.
"Why, grandpa! What have you done to your shirt?" Anna asked.
Geppetto couldn't believe what she was saying. "What have I...?" He then turned and screamed in shame. "AAAAAOOOOOOOHHHHHH!"
Tweed walked to him with a damp washcloth. "Now, Geppetto, really. It comes right off." She washed off the chalk on his shirt front.
"That's no excuse!" He frowned while Anna, Hans, Hiro, and Tommy were putting the toys away. "Anna, haven't I warned you? Stuffing the boys' heads with a lot of silly stories."
"Oh, but they aren't!" Anna protested.
"I say they are! Warren T. Cat! Kristoff Pirate!" Geppetto said.
"Kristoff Pan, grandpa." Anna told him.
"And it's Rat, not Cat." Hans corrected his grandfather.
"Pan, pirate," Geppetto shouted, trying to put on collar around his neck. "Poppycock!"
"Oh no, grandpa."
"That's not true."
"Grandpa, have you ever-"
"You don't understand." The children tried to tell him.
"ABSOLUTE POPPYCOCK!" Geppetto shouted, finally getting the collar together. "And let me tell you, this ridiculous..."
"Now, Geppetto..." Tweed said, about to do his brown necktie.
"Now, Geppetto! Now, Geppetto!" He repeated of what Tweed said, while Fifi was almost done helping Spike put the blocks back up. But they stopped to listen. "WELL, 'NOW, GEPPETTO' WILL HAVE HIS SAY!" He put the tie on himself, but he make a furious tangle.
"Please, dear." Tweed said, fixing his tie neatly.
"Tweed, when we took the children in after the death of their parents, Hans is growing up," As when Spike picked up two more blocks, he listened very carefully. "It's high time he had a room of his own!" He pointed at the hall as it shocked them all.
"Grandpa!" Anna gasped.
"Geppetto!" Tweed gasped.
"What?!" Hiro gasped.
"No!" Taran gasped.
"You don't mean that!" Hans exclaimed.
Spike dropped all the blocks while he and Fifi gasped in shock and couldn't believe what they were hearing and what Geppetto was doing. "I mean it! Young man, this is your last night in the nursery!" he said, as Hans lowered his head in sadness. "And that's my last word on the matter!" He walked away, only to nearly stomp on Spike and Fifi and tried to get out of the way. Geppetto couldn't move around and was ready to fall. And he was losing his steps!
Spike and Fifi moved away, as they fully stopped. But they nearly knocked the blocks again because Geppetto bumped into them and knocked them down. Now they must move away before it happens. But Spike stepped the wagon, rolled back, and fell as Geppetto stepped on it and rolled around here. "NO!" And when Spike and Fifi were rolling by, the wagon made a tear in the rug, and Geppetto was sent flying as he yelled, "NO!" And with a large crash, he fell into the dresser, knocking the toys down. Anna, Hans, Hiro, Tommy, and Tweed were shocked that Spike and Fifi were against the wall.
As for Geppetto, he was on the floor in pain, and last of the toys fell on his head, the last was the jack-in-the-box, and up popped the jack, as it stood on his head, which made Geppetto mad and annoyed.
"Oh!" Anna, Hans, Hiro, Tommy, and Tweed said together. Geppetto heard them, and knew that they saw him get hurt, and caring of him. So he closed his eyes and waited for them. But suddenly, they ran past him, which made Geppetto open his widened eyes in shock. As they ran to Spike and Fifi, but Geppetto.
"Poor Spike and Fifi!" they said together again.
Geppetto couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Poor Spike and Fifi?" Now he was very angry as he hopped up on his feet when he stomped up and shouted, "This is the last straw!" He pointed his finger out the door shouting, "OUT! OUT, I SAY!"
Tommy was hugging Spike and Fifi. "No, grandpa, no!" Tommy pleaded.
Geppetto grabbed Spike and Fifi by the ears and shouted, "YES! There'll be no more dogs for butlers or nursemaids in this house!" Tommy grabbed Spike and Fifi's tails. But Tweed stopped him by picking him up as Geppetto was dragging Spike and Fifi out the room.
Tommy started to cry as he waved to his friends. "Goodbye, Spike. Goodbye, Fifi."
Spike and Fifi waved goodbye back. As Geppetto walked out to the back, he muttered to himself, "Poor Spike and Fifi. Oh yes, poor Spike and Fifi. But poor grandfather? Oh, no." He let go of Spike and Fifi and looked for some ropes, and couldn't find any. "Blast it! Where are those ropes?" He turned as he saw Spike and Fifi holding two ropes in their mouths. Geppetto walked to them and said, "Oh, thank you." As he was tying the ropes to Spike and Fifi's collars, Spike and Fifi gave him sad looks. Geppetto saw that and couldn't bear the sight. "Oh, dash it all, you two. D-Don't look at me like that."
He walked to the fountain and filled up Spike and Fifi's dishes. He picked them up and filled them more. "It's nothing personal. It's just that- Well, you're not really a a butler and a nurse at all You're… Well, two dogs. And the children aren't puppies, they're people." He placed the water dishes near Spike and Fifi. "And sooner or later, Spike and Fifi, people have to grow up." He pet Spike and Fifi's heads.
Inside the house, the kids are in their beds, as Tweed knew that Geppetto didn't mean to do that to Spike and Fifi.
Anna, who was using a canopy bed, looked depressed. The canopy bed had a mahogany headboard, base, and foot board, a large white mattress, and eight matching pillows. Hot pink bedsheets covered the mattress, and eight matching pillowcases sheltered the pillows. The canopy bed was surrounded by four large fuschia curtains with golden draw tassels. A pink blanket covered up both Hans and the bedsheet-sheltered mattress. On top of the blanket, there was a warm, light fuschia quilt that was large and flowing. Hans (with his slippers off) was on the left side of the bed while Anna was on the right. "But grandma, I don't want to grow up." she pleaded.
"Now dear," Tweed said, as she kissed her and Hans on each forehead and covered them up with the pink blanket and fuschia quilt. "Don't worry about it anymore tonight."
"What he said about Kristoff was just plain awful." said Hans.
As for Hiro, he uses a single bed, which was a single bed with a white headboard, base, and footboard. His white mattress was covered with gray bedsheets, and his head was resting on only one white pillow. The pillow was covered with one gray pillowcase. Hiro's body was covered by a gray blanket and a warm, light red quilt on top of the blanket. "Yes. He called Kristoff Pan 'absolute poppycock'." Hiro said to himself after what his grandfather had said.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it, Hiro," Tweed said, as she took off his glasses and the top hat. "Grandpa was just upset."
As for Tommy, he uses a racing car waterbed. It was blue racing car bed with a creamy mattress, two matching pillows, and matching bedsheets. There were two scarlet red pillowcases covering the pillows. On the bedsheet-covered mattress, there was a scarlet red blanket to match the pillowcases. Tucked inside the racing car bed was a warm, light navy blue quilt on top of the blanket. He had tears running down his cheeks. "Poor Spike and Fifi," Tommy sniffled. "out there all alone."
"No more tears, Tommy. It's a warm night. They'll be all right." Tweed said, as she covered him up with the scarlet blanket and navy blue quilt, kissed his forehead, and left.
Then Tommy remembered something. "Grandma?" he asked.
Tweed turned around and asked, "What is it, dear?"
"Buried treasure." Tommy had the cuff links that Geppetto was looking for, and he gave them to Tweed.
"Now, children, don't judge your grandfather too harshly. After all, he really loves you very much." She walked to the window door, and was about to lock it up.
But Anna and Hans stopped her as Anna said, "Oh don't lock it, grandma."
"He might come back." added Hans.
"He?" Tweed asked in a puzzled way.
"Yes, Kristoff Pan. You see, Hans I found something that belongs to him." Anna said, as she and her brother lay down.
"Oh, and what's that?" asked Tweed.
She yawned and said, "His shadow."
"Shadow?" Tweed asked, very surprised.
"Mm-hmm." Anna said, as she drifted off to sleep.
"Spike and Fifi had it, but then we took it away." Hans said, as he drifted off to sleep, as well.
"Oh? Yes, of course. Good night, dear." Tweed said, as she turned off the light, walked out, and left for the party.
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Peter Pan
Category:Peter Pan Fanmakes
Category:Peter Pan parodies