The Goofy Newbie (Rewrite)/transcript

Previous Episode: Boss Stepping In
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: September 28, 2019
Episode Copyrighted: 2019
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins at Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat. Children are having a good time eating ice cream and playing with the Goofy Goober mascot. But there are some of them who are not having a good time. An angry long line of children are waiting impatiently as Patrick is hogging up all of the ice cream samples at the counter. He takes a sample and eats it.
Squidina: *slowly losing my patience* Hey, you've sampled every flavor we have. Will you please just pick one?!
Patrick Star: Mm-mmm! Not so fast. I would now like to sample combinations of flavors, and I would like you to use my spoon! *holds out a shovel*
Squidina: *pushes the shovel away and calls security* Security. We have a sample mooch at the counter.
The man in the Goofy Goober suit rushes over to the counter. He rips it off, revealing himself to be a security guard. He scoops Patrick up with an ice cream scooper and throws him out. Patrick whimpers sadly before two employees come out, sit on him, and eat ice cream together.
Octavius Rex's Co-Worker: Wow. I can't believe Goofy Goobers employees get to eat all the ice cream they want on this job.
Leni Loud: *walks* Hmm?
Octavius Rex: Yeah, but the rule is only on the first break. And for lunch, *eats some ice cream* and on the second break, and for dinner. *eats some more ice cream*
Octavius Rex's Co-Worker: Wow! Ice cream all day! *gobbles down some more ice cream*
Octavius Rex: *voiceover as the words "all day" appear in Leni's eyes* Ice cream all day. All day. All day. All day.
Leni Loud: Ice cream all day?
The two employees look at Patrick and run off, screaming.
Leni Loud: OMGosh! I'm getting a job at Goofy Goober!
The next few scenes is a tutorial video for beginners who want to work at Goofy Goober's.
Video Announcer: Goofy Goober's and you.
Training Announcer: Hello, and welcome! As a new Goofy Goober employee, we'd like you to know that we appreciate you.
The screen shows Bikini Bottom in the 1800s.
Training Announcer: The story of our ice cream begins with our founder, Reginald Goober.
A picture of Reginald Goober is shown.
Training Announcer: Who for some unexplained reason was nicknamed Goofy.
The screen shows Reginald Goober and his ice cream wagon.
Training Announcer: In 1842, he headed West in a covered ice cream wagon. In the days before cones and refrigeration.
The screen shows ice cream being served on sticks and rocks
Training Announcer: He served warm ice cream on rocks and sticks.
The screen shows Goofy Goober's as of now.
Training Announcer: From those humble beginnings, Goofy Goober has grown into a multibillion dollar business–
The screen shows the Goofy Goober's outfit.
Training Announcer: –that you, our newest employee, now have the privilege to work for.
The screen shows an employee washing his hands and spraying perfume in his mouth.
Training Announcer: We only ask that you, one, practice good hygiene,
The screen shows an employee wiping the table.
Training Announcer: –two, maintain good work habits–
The screen shows a banana split UFO flying around.
Training Announcer: –and three, believe in extraterrestrials.
Reginald Goober: *enters the UFO* Peace, hugs, and ice cream! *flies away in the UFO*
Video Announcer: *laughs* The end.
The screen turns to static and pans out, revealing that Leni sees through the whole tutorial video.
Goofy Manager: *turns off the television* Hello, Goofy newbie.
Leni Loud: Can I have my ice cream now?
Goofy Manager: Not until your first break. *chuckles* I'm your manager and I want you to know that I appreciate you. Now let's get you started. *leads Leni to the sink* You will be washing dishes today. *gives Leni dishwashing detergent* What do you think of that?
Leni Loud: Oh, I had a thought once.
Goofy Manager: *chuckles* Ooh, you sure put the Goofy in Goober! I'll check on you in a few minutes. *leaves*
Leni Loud: *picks up a dirty bowl and sniffs it*
She then gets an idea.
Time card reading "A few minutes later".
Narrator: A few minutes later...
Goofy Manager: *comes back in and sees all of the dishes done*
Leni is playing with the dishwashing detergent.
Goofy Manager: Exceptional! Show me how you cleaned all these dishes so fast.
Leni Loud: Okay!
The manager is shocked at what Leni did.
Goofy Manager: *takes the bowl* Never tell anyone you did that.
Leni Loud: Is it time for my first break?
Goofy Manager: Not yet.
Leni Loud: Aww! *squeezes the dishwashing detergent bottle*
Slide transition cuts to Leni and the Goofy Manager near the freezer.
Goofy Manager: This should be easy. *clears throat
Leni Loud: *shivers*
Goofy Manager: Just unload the boxes of ice cream from the truck, and stack them in the freezer. Okay, repeat it back to me.
Leni Loud: *shakes my head* When the bell rings, I peel a banana and run like the devil.
Goofy Manager: *gets confused* Uh. Eh, close enough. *leaves*
Time card reading "One hour later".
Narrator: One hour later...
Leni is standing outside the freezer, but the thermostat is turned up way too high, melting all the ice cream inside.
Goofy Manager: *comes back* Ooh, good, good! The truck is empty. *touches the door knob*
But it burns his hand; he yelps in pain.
Goofy Manager: That's hot! *takes out a towel, opens the door*
The melted ice cream flows out, flooding the entire ice cream parlor.
Leni is seen fishing on a raft, pulling off a reference to Tom Sawyer.
Leni Loud: Nothing's biting today.
Goofy Manager: Newbie, why would you turn the heat on in the freezer?
Leni Loud: Oh, it was freezing in there, and the fire I built wasn't doing it.
Goofy Manager: What?! *sinks into the melted ice cream*
Slide transition cuts to Leni being dressed in a Goofy Goober suit.
Goofy Manager: Now, this should be easy for you. You just walk around as Goofy the Goober and wave to the kids. But a warning—Sometimes the kids get a little over-affectionate.
A little girl is hugging Leni's leg. Patrick quivers in fear.
Human Little Girl #1: I love you, Goofy Goober!
Goofy Manager: *laughs* So cute. Good luck! *leaves*
Human Little Boy: *jumps on Leni's suit* I want you to be my mommy!
Human Little Girl #2: *jumps on Leni's suit with a nutcracker* I want to crack this nut! *squeezes Leni's suit with the nutcracker*
Leni Loud: *shakes the little girl with the nutcracker off*
The little girl is sent flying into a carton of ice cream.
Leni Loud: Sorry.
Human Little Girl #1: *comes out with a big blob of ice cream and happily runs around*
The other kids join her as they follow her and run around.
Leni Loud: *notices that their ice cream is unguarded* Oh. Unattended ice cream. *opens my suit and sucks up some ice cream with the vacuum* Mustn't let it go to waste. *sucks up all of the ice cream from the bowls*
Goofy Manager: *shows up and is not impressed with Leni's behavior*
She turns the vacuum off. She opens Leni's suit and sees tons of ice cream in it. She takes out some ice cream from Leni's mouth.
Goofy Manager: I think you better go home and clean up.
Leni Loud: *whinny* But I haven't had my first ice cream break!
Goofy Manager: I'll give you another chance tomorrow. If it doesn't work out, I'm afraid you're fired... *clears throat* in a most appreciative way.
Slide transition cuts to Lincoln's House interior, SpongeBob and Lincoln are sitting on a couch watching TV.
Leni Loud: *enters Lincoln's house looking guilty*
She falls right on the couch.
Leni Loud: *feels guilty* This was my last chance! I blew it.
Lincoln Loud: Leni, he'll give you another chance. We were waiting for you. How was work?
Leni Loud: Terrible. I can't do anything right. I'll probably get fired tomorrow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: So the manager made you work at Goofy Goober's?
Leni Loud: Yes.
Lincoln Loud: Why don't we give you a massage?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, you poor Leni. Tell you what, buddy—Tomorrow, we'll come with you to work and help out.
Leni Loud: Oh that would be great, you guys. *sits up for my massage* Thank you, guys. I appreciate this. I feel very relaxed.
Slide transition cuts to back at Royal Woods Mall the following day.
Leni Loud: Guys, help me put on my uniform.
Patrick Star: Okay Leni, tell me for the millionth time, how is this gonna work?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'll show you. *climbs into Leni's uniform* If you put your arms behind you, I can be your hands.
Lincoln Loud: *climbs into Patrick's uniform*
Patrick Star: Ooh, so when I eat ice cream—
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'll do the scoopin'.
Leni Loud: And when I give change—
SpongeBob SquarePants: *throws out money* I'll do the countin'.
Patrick Star: And when my butt itches—
Lincoln Loud: Yeah, I'm not doing that.
Patrick Star: *stops her*
Leni Loud: Patrick, please move out of the way. I will get fired at Goofy Goober's if I'm late for work.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Don't you worry, Leni. I am going to find you a better job at Goofy Goober's.
Lincoln Loud: Yeah.
Leni Loud: Oh, really? Thank you, Linky! *hugs Patrick and Lincoln tightly*
Lincoln Loud: Too tight! Too tight! Leni, I can't breathe!
Patrick Star: Me too!
Leni Loud: Oops, sorry. Let's go!
Patrick Star: *eats ice cream* I love ice cream!
SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni get into her car.
Leni Loud: *drives off to Goofy Goober's*
They arrive at Goofy Goober's and enter and they search for ice cream. Lincoln then sees a help wanted sign at Goofy Goober's.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, Leni. There is help wanted at Goofy Goober's.
Leni Loud: Yay! I love Goofy Goober's!
Slide transition cuts to inside Goofy Goober's. They enter and walk up to the counter where the Goofy Manager is.
Goofy Manager: Okay, ready for your second, and last chance? *gets a bit suspicious*
As he nearly notices SpongeBob in Leni's uniform and Lincoln in Patrick's uniform; but he chuckles.
Goofy Manager: Let me show you how to make—
Patrick Star: Ice cream sandwiches?
SpongeBob's arms wave out of her uniform.
Leni Loud: I think I got this.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *makes a tower of ice cream sandwiches and puts a flag on top*
A little eskimo comes out of the ice cream sandwich tower.
Leni Loud: Time for my first break?
Goofy Manager: Oh, no, no, no. Not yet, not yet. *chuckles* But I think you're ready for the big time.
Leni Loud: Can I please have a job at your restaurant? Please! Please! Please!
Goofy Manager: Um...
Lincoln Loud: What my sister, Leni means is she would like to apply for a job for ice cream here.
Goofy Manager: I see. Well, do you have any experience working here?
Leni Loud: No, but I do know a lot about fashion. And ice cream shoes.
Goofy Manager: Well that's great. Let's see how you do with the next customer.
Slide transition cuts to Patrick at the counter.
Goofy Manager: All right, Leni. Relax, don't choke, and try to have fun. *leaves*
Leni Loud: Easy, queasy, lemon squeezy.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *makes a perfect banana split* Ta-da! *puts a cherry on top*
Leni Loud: Work is hard work.
Patrick Star: *falls asleep*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *makes random ice cream dishes for the children*
He makes a sundae with a graham cracker windmill, impressing the children. Then he puts sprinkles on them. Then he juggles some of the ice cream toppings and ingredients. Then he takes a blob of vanilla ice cream and morphs it into a puppet.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *plays with the ice cream puppet* Hello, folks! I'm Edible Edie! Start with my head!
The children laugh and cheer at SpongeBob's outstanding performances.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *drives out of the counter in an ice cream boatmobile*
Rachel Foxy: *enters Goofy Goober's*
Leni Loud: Hello, Rachel. Welcome to Goofy Goober's.
Rachel Foxy: Thank you. Now I am looking for...
Leni Loud: Say no more. Have a seat.
Rachel Foxy: *sits down*
Leni Loud: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Coming right up. *makes ice cream then puts a cherry on top for Rachel* Here's your ice cream.
Leni Loud: *smiles* Rachel, you can eat your ice cream now!
Rachel Foxy: Okay, Leni. *eats ice cream*
Leni Loud: Like you, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh.
Rachel Foxy: My ice cream tastes great.
Leni Loud: It is.
Rachel Foxy: See you later, Leni. *exits Goofy Goober's*
Leni Loud: Bye.
Goofy Manager: *walks to Leni, then laughs* Great job, newbie. Now you can take your first break.
Leni Loud: My break? I can eat ice cream now?
Goofy Manager: All you can handle.
Leni Loud: Yay! *drives out of Goofy Goobers in the ice cream boatmobile*
She abruptly stops it outside, causing SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni to fall out and land on the ground.
Patrick Star: *to Leni* Thanks for your help, buddy. Now, eat.
Leni Loud: Okay, *eats ice cream*
Lincoln Loud: Hey, Leni.
Leni Loud: Oh hey, Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: So how's your ice cream?
Leni Loud: Eating ice cream is very fun.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well I'm glad to hear, Leni.
Leni Loud: I can't wait I eat some more.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, I'd love to. *my watch beeps* But if I don't hurry, I'll be late for my job. Sure you can handle that ice cream all… *pauses* by yourself? *sees Leni eating the entire ice cream boatmobile* Silly question.
Leni Loud: *eats an ice cream sandwich and burps*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Good luck, my employed pal. *leaves for the Krusty Krab*
Patrick Star: *eats ice cream* Sorry Leni, gotta go! *leaves*
Lincoln Loud: Okay. See you later, Leni.
He is about to walk out of the store but Leni stops him.
Leni Loud: *stops him* Hold on, you forgot something.
Lincoln Loud: What?
Leni Loud: *gives him some money*
Lincoln Loud: Oh money. Thanks, Leni.
Leni Loud: Wait one more thing. *hugs Lincoln* Hugs. See you later, Linky.
Lincoln Loud: See you later, Leni. *exits*
Leni Loud: *looks at my watch* Oh! Only two more minutes for my break! And two more minutes for ice cream! *reenters Goofy Goober's and eats all the ice cream at the counter*
Then she eats the soft served ice cream from the ice cream machine.
All the Kids except Leni: *chants* Chug, chug, chug, chug!
Leni is all chubby and fat from eating all that soft serve ice cream. Then she hops around, knocking over some bowls and ice cream cups. She lands in the center of Goofy Goober, takes a deep breath and sucks up all the ice cream. But something happens. After eating all that ice cream, her body begins to shiver.
Leni Loud: Brain freeze!
Leni's body becomes covered in ice and the ice freezes up Goofy Goober's, Bikini Bottom, The City, and the entire world.
Time card reading "FIVE BILLION YEARS LATER" in computer font.
French Narrator: *robotic speak* Five billion years later…
After five billion years into the future, everything is thawed out.
Leni Loud: *sees myself thawed out* I think that totes went well!
Goofy Manager: *gets real angry and breaks out of the ice* YOU ARE FIRED! *breathes heavily*
Children happily run past her.
Leni Loud: *shrugs* That's okay! I'm lactose intolerant anyways. *chuckles, then exits Goofy Goober's*
She climbs into a banana split UFO just like Reginald Goober did.
Leni Loud: A little Peace, hugs, and ice cream! *flies off in the UFO*
Screen cuts in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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