Frink Gets Testy

Frink Gets Testy is the eleventh episode of Season 29.
== Synopsis ==
Mr. Burns builds a doomsday ark after believing that the end of the world is near when he watches an old Orson Welles show about Nostradamus. Professor Frink comes up with a new way of testing the citizens of Springfield after Burns wants a test to determine who should go on a spacecraft with him. The results shake the Simpson family to their core, as Homer is dismayed to find he has the lowest possible score, while Lisa becomes obsessed with finding out how Ralph scored higher than she did.
== Full Story ==
A classic documentary hosted by Orson Welles about Nostradamus and his predictions for the future, including one concerning World War III, causes Mr. Burns to become alarmed for the future of Springfield. With Smithers' help, he convenes a meeting of the local chapter of Mensa International to seek their advice on constructing a "Doomsday Ark," intended to save the city's most valuable individuals. The Mensa members suggest that everyone be given an IQ test to choose the passengers, but Professor Frink interrupts to recommend an alternative test he has devised that can measure people's "Personal Value Quotient" (PVQ) on a scale of 1 to 500. The test is made mandatory for all of the residents.
Six weeks later, the results are reported during a news broadcast. Lisa scores 475, but is surprised to discover that Ralph Wiggum has bested her by one point. Marge scores 311, Homer scores 265, while Bart has scored only 1. When Marge indignantly storms into Frink's lab and insists that Bart is not worthless, Frink discovers that he inadvertently mixed up Bart and Homer's test results due to their terrible handwriting. People all over town begin to ridicule Homer for his low test score and take advantage of him, but Marge plans to help him better herself. She concentrates on Homer's penmanship, and he eventually improves to the point of being able to write her a romantic letter in longhand. Marge is touched by the gesture and thinking that Homer has passed out from the effort of completing it. In reality, he is unconscious after drinking a bottle of bourbon.
After talking with Welles in a dream, Burns speeds up construction on the ark and puts Homer, Lenny, and Carl to work on it. Lisa begins pursuing Ralph around school and town to figure out why his PVQ score is higher than hers, without any success. They reach the ark construction site, where Ralph repeatedly avoids severe injury through sheer luck. Frustrated, Lisa tells Frink of what she has seen. To keep her quiet, Frink adds ten points to her PVQ so that she will not reveal the flaws in his testing process.
As soon as the ark is finished, Burns brings the PVQ test's top scorers on board and tells them that they will be his slaves. Displeased by the setup, the group leaves through a hatch that has been left unlocked. Burns locks himself in and agrees to pilot the ark by himself. As Smithers gets stranded outside, having left to fetch Burns' slippers, Burns ends up getting strangled by one of the ark's maintenance robots.
==Citations==
fr:Professeur testeur
pl:Frink Gets Testy
pt:O teste de Frink
Category:Professor Frink Episodes
Category:'Gets' Episodes
Category:Mr. Burns Episodes
Category:Doomsday episodes
Category:Episodes featuring guest stars
Category:Musical-themed Episodes
Category:Ralph episodes
Category:Homer episodes
Category:Marge episodes
Category:Lisa episodes
Category:Episodes with alternate end credits
Category:Lisa seeks understanding episodes
Category:Episodes named after Professor Frink
Category:Directed by Chris Clements
Category:Written by Dan Vebber
Category:History