The Front/Quotes

:Krusty: (after seeing the terrible Itchy & Scratchy episode) I could pull a better cartoon out of my a... hey hey, wasn't that great kids?
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:Homer's Brain: This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past.
:Homer: Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.
:Marge: Oh, my God!
:Homer's Brain: No, the other secret!
:Homer: Marge, I never graduated from High School.
:Marge: Well, that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it does.
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:Grampa: (writing a letter) Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.
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:Lisa: It's so sad that Krusty is ashamed of his roots.
:Homer walks into the living room with a plunger on his head
:Homer: Marge, it happened again!
:Bart: What are you going to change your name to when you grow up?
:Lisa: Lois Sanborne.
:Bart: Steve Bennett.
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:Bart: Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for doing nothing?
:Grampa: I figured it was because the Demmie-crats were back in power.
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:Lisa's Brain: Poor predictable Bart. Always takes 'rock'.
:Bart's Brain: Good ol' 'rock'. Nuthin' beats that!
:Bart: Rock!
:Lisa: Paper.
:Bart: D'oh!
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:Secretary: Is this the Abraham Simpson who wrote the Itchy and Scratchy episode?
:Grampa: Ishy and what? No, you must be some kind of crazy person.
:Secretary: I'm sorry, but we have a substantial check here for a Mr. Abraham Simpson.
:Grampa: That's right. I did the Iggy.
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:Homer: I never passed Remedial Science 1A.
:Marge: And you're a nuclear technician?
:Homer: Marge! Ix-nay on the uclear-nay echnician-tay.
:Marge: What did you say?
:Homer: I don't know. I flunked Latin, too.
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:Artie Ziff: Hello, Marge. Have you heard? I'm stinking rich. (to Homer) Jealous?
:Homer: I bet you'd trade it all for one night with my wife.
:Artie Ziff: I would.
:Homer Hmm...
:Marge: Homer!
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:Grampa: Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.
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:Singers: Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders!
:Homer: Not me!
:Singers: Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!
:Ned: Knock that off, you two. It's time for church!
:Rod: We're not going to church today!
:Ned: What!? You give me one good reason!
:Todd: It's Saturday.
:Ned: Okely dokily-doo!
:Singers: Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders!
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:Dondelinger: Alright, here are your exams, fifty questions true or false.
:Homer: True.
:Dondelinger: Homer, I was just describing the test.
:Homer: True.
:Dondelinger: Look Homer, just take the test and you'll do fine.
:Homer: False.
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:Dondelinger: Now, I'm going to burn this donut to show you how many calories it has.
:Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
:Dondelinger: The bright blue flame indicates this was a particularly sweet donut.
:Homer: This is not happening!
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:Roger Meyers, Jr: Hey, how would you kids like a tour of the studio? Abe, are you coming?
:Grampa: Any stairs?
:Roger Meyers, Jr: Just one.
:Grampa: Nuts to you.
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:Lisa: Grampa, how did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?
:Grampa: I don't know!
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:Homer: Alright brain. You don't like me and I don't like you. But let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
:Homer's Brain: It's a deal.
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:Dondelinger: Welcome to Remedial Science 1A. My wife recently passed away. I thought that maybe teaching would ease my loneliness.
:Homer: Will this be on the test?
:Dondelinger: No!
:Homer: Ohhh. (erases note from his cheat sheet)
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:Bart: What about Grampa? He's pretty out of it. He let those guys use his checkbook for a whole year.
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:Bart: Hey, Grampa, we need to know your first name.
:Grampa: You're making my tombstone!?
:Lisa: No were just curious.
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:Bart: I'll never watch an awards show again...unless that delightful Billy Crystal is on.
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:Homer: I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch.
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:Homer: What can I say? It hasn't been easy staying in my rut.