The Therapist

The Therapist is the second episode of A Moment With Squidward. It aired soon after The Big Concert, on Sponge@Night. It continued it's look into the wild life of Squidward Tentacles. It first aired on June 1st, 2004. It is roughly 15 minutes long. 
== Characters ==
* Rodger Bumpass as Squidward Tentacles
* Mary Jo Catlett as Mrs. Puff
* Fred the Frick as Patrick Jr.
* Dr. Phil McGraw as The Therapist
== Plot ==
Squidward begins to fall into a deep depression. This leads him to becoming a heavy drinker, and soon, a alcoholic. While drunk, Squidward has a terrible near-death-experience, that results in him going into a coma for two weeks. This leads Mrs. Puff and Patrick Jr to taking Squidward to a therapist. However, there is something strange about this "Therapist". 
== Story ==
Squidward was sitting in his living room watching porn as he usually did. However, this time he was even sadder than usual. He was getting bored of his day-to-day existence. Nothing would go right for him no matter how hard he tried. "Well, Squidy, ya did it. You've officially hit rock bottom!" He said to himself. "You are officially, completely, f*cked!" He whined. He began to burst into tears. 
Patrick Jr ran down stares humming a little tune in his head. 
"Hey buddy!" He shouted. He noticed how saddened Squidward was. "What's the matter?" He asked. "Nothing is going right for me!" Squidward complained. "Well..uhhh...try to think of things that make you happy!" Patrick Jr suggested. 
Squidward thought for a moment. "I like beer.." He confessed. "Sure! Think of that!" Patrick Jr suggested. You see, Patrick Jr was a idiot and did not know what beer was. 
"I'm going to get some beer." Squidward announced. "Then I'll feel MUCH better!" He continued. He grabbed his sunglasses and fedora and went to his car. "Oh and Jr..." Squidward started. "DON'T F*CK UP MY HOUSE WHILE I'M GONE!" He shouted. 
Squidward arrived at the bar. He walked inside and noticed SpongeBob and Sandy making out behind in a janitor's closet. He also saw that Larry, who also recently moved into Coral City, was passed out in a booth. "Two please." He requested to the bartender. He got to beers and jugged both down in a matter of minutes. "TWO MORE!" He shouted. And the cycle began. 
By the end of the night, Squidward was so drunk that he was dancing, completely nude, on a table, while terribly playing the saxophone. Squidward didn't come home that night. As a matter a fact, Squidward was gone for three days straight! Patrick Jr was extremely worried. He decided to call Mrs. Puff, Squidward's girlfriend, who was recently released from prison for strangling a student. He told her the whole story. She was also very worried for her boyfriend's safety. 
They decided to go to the local tavern to see if they could find him. They found him hanging from a ceiling fan, by his underwear. "SQUIDWARD TENTACLES!" She shouted at the wasted Squid. "You've made us worried sick!" She continued. "You know how you get when you have beer!" She shammed him. "Go f*ck yourself, b*tch!" Squidward shouted back. Mrs. Puff and Larry took Squidward off the fan. Squidward suddenly started booking it. He ran out into the road, in his underwear, cackling like a maniac. 
He didn't happen to notice the giant semi-truck that was speeding down the street. The truck wasn't able to stop in time, so it hit the naked Squid. Squidward was knocked into a coma and had almost every bone in his body broken.
Squidward was rushed to a nearby hospital. Doctors where able to fix his bones, but could not awaken him from his coma. One day, Squidward was able to wake up. 
Patrick Jr and Mrs. Puff where very relieved. However, they needed to make sure that it didn't happen again. They had to take Squidward to a therapist.
They discover a very popular therapist is in Coral City, and they decide to take Squidward to him. What they did not know was that the therapist actually has a talk show where he attempts to "cure" people. Mrs. Puff and Patrick Jr thought it was a great idea. Squidward, however, is very against the idea. So they decide to sedate him and take him to the studio. The Therapist is waiting on the stage with a large crowd of people around him. "Now I am very pleased to welcome our next guest, Squidward Tentacles!" The therapist announced. Squidward was brought onstage in a straight jacket, to make sure he didn't try to run away.
"Hello Mr. Tentacles" The therapist greeted. "F*ck you!" Squidward hissed back. "Well, that's not very nice!" The therapist replied. "Well so is sedating people and bringing them LIVE in front of the whole d*mn world without there permission!" Squidward explained. "Desperate times call for desperate measures!" The therapist replied. "Now then, Squidward, you have a problem!" The therapist began. "You are clearly suffering from severe chronic alcoholism. Why do you think that is?" The therapist asked. "Why should I know? I thought YOU where supposed to be telling ME that!" Squidward hissed back. "Fine.." The therapist mumbled. "You seem to be severally depressed!" The therapist explained. "No sh*t!" Squidward mumbled under his breath. "I HEARD THAT!" The therapist shouted. "No one likes an ease-dropper!" Squidward shouted. "WELL NO ONE LIKES A JERK!" The therapist shouted back. And the two argued back-and-fourth.
Squidward eventually got so mad that he lunged onto The therapist and began strangling him. Squidward was then hauled off by security, as the episode fades to black.
== Reception ==
This episode was received much better than the episode that came before it. It also boosted the viewer-count. Most likely due to the amount of stay-at-home moms that tuned in because it had Dr. Phil as a guest star. Even though it's representation of alcoholism, at the beginning, was controversial. WHAT?! Studios and Sponge@Night were sued by countless bartenders across America.
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Category:Drama
Category:Comedy
Category:Talk Shows
Category:Reality Shows
Category:Sponge@Night