Mr. Lisa's Opus/Quotes

:Homer: Why you little --
:Bart: I'm not little. I'm 20, and I live at home.
:Homer: Why you disappointing -- (grunting)
:Bart: You know you're choking someone who can vote.
:Homer: But did you vote?
:Bart: No.
:Homer: Why you little, non-voting --
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:Homer: Stop drinking? That's like asking a golfer to stop drinking!
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:Homer: Ned, I have to quit drinking. Now!
:Ned: All right, soberino, it's just 12 simple steps.
:Homer: Oh, 12?
:Ned: Fine. Nine.
:Homer: Oh!
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:Ned: Okay, step one: admit you're powerless.
:Homer: I'm powerless. Boom! Done.
:Ned: Step two: admit there is a power greater than yourself.
:Homer: Um, if I'm powerless, isn't every power greater than myself?
:Ned: This is the 12 steps, not 20 questions. Now, make a decision to turn your life to God.
:Homer: [Scoffs] God. He's in every deal, like undercoating. Fine.
:Ned: Make a searching moral inventory of yourself.
:Homer: If I have one tiny flaw, it's that I have many enormous flaws.
:Ned: Admit the nature of your wrongs.
:Homer: Well, I'm not the best parallel parker.
:Ned: Are you ready for God to remove these defects?
:Homer: Dear Lord, the Satan of Heaven. I order you to fix me.
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:Caitlyn: Hi. I'm Caitlyn.
:Lisa: [Gasps] My roommate. So, you play an instrument?
:Caitlyn: Bari Sax.
:Lisa: Are you good?
:Caitlyn: I played at Kenny G's funeral.
:Lisa: [thinking -Ooh, she's pretty impressive-] Uh... any childhood heartbreak?
:Caitlyn: My parents forgot my birthday three times.
:Lisa: [thinking: "She beats me at everything! I don't belong here"]
:Caitlyn: While you were feeling inferior, I took the top bunk.
:Lisa: [exasperated grunt]
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:Lisa: At least you're having a good time.
:Bart: These girls want me to piss off their parents before they head home [moaning while kissing girl]
:Mandy's dad: Get away from him Mandy! I'll pay! I'll pay!
:Bart: Tell him I have two kids. The beauty part is, it's not a lie.
:Lisa: You always know what to say, Bart.
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