Transcripts/Return of the Meen

This is the transcribed dialogue and actions from the episode Return of the Meen.
In the far reaches of space... 
A Star Destroyer flies through.
It is revealed that it actually belongs to I.M. Meen, as the camera cuts to him, inside.
Meen: Take us into hyperdrive.
Pilot: Yes, my lord.
The Star Destroyer zips off. 
Hyrule Castle.
Impa looks into her Triforce as Zelda observes intently.
Zelda *to Impa*: Do you see anything?
Impa: Oh, my. It's Meen. It looks like he's returning.
King Harkinian gives a frightened expression.
Zelda: Oh no...!
Impa: Zelda, take the King safely to Tykogi Tower.
Link: No way! That old shit stain's no match for the King!
Harkinian's mind: I gotta get outta here. 
Harkinian *to Link*: Psst, Link. 
Harkinian: My boy, you gotta help me. I can't go back there again.
Link: Where are you talking about?
Harkinian: Meen's labyrinth.
Namowg flies in.
Namowg: Your Majesty, I come bearing a message from my king.
Harkinian: What?
Namowg: Surrender now. That is all. Goodbye.
Namowg flies off on his carpet. As he does, Gwonam looks out his window and runs off-screen. 
Meanwhile, the scene cuts back to Meen's Star Destroyer.
Pilot: We're approaching the destination now.
Meen: Stop the ship.
The ship stops right in front of the planet's surface, startling Meen.
Meen: Ahh!
He falls over.
Pilot: Apologies, My Lord.
Link notices the ship and waves at it, oblivious to who is inside.
Link: Hey!
Meen: Oh fuck..! Back us up!
The ship disappears from view.
Link: Wow!
Gwonam: Link, that was Meen.
Link: My bad. I'll go apologize.
Gwonam: No, Link. I meant I.M. Meen.
Link: Then you're a dick.
Gwonam: Oh for Christ's sake!
The scene cuts back to the Star Destroyer.
Meen: Has he given up?
Gwonam proceeds to throw a ball of condensed lightsaber energy at the Star Destroyer.
The ball hits the ship hard, knocking Meen to the ground again.
Meen: AAAAH!
Pilot: I don't think so!
Meen: Okay, bookworm!
Cuts to Harkinian frantically pacing around the castle devising his escape.
Harkinian: I can leave the planet... 
Harkinian: HAO! But the X-Wing's gone now. Think, boi.
A signal is then transmitted by Meen through a TV.
Harkinian: What?
A microphone drops down beside Meen while he clears his throat.
Meen: Attention, bookworm.
Meen: I'm really starting to get impatient.
Meen: Why not surrender now before I destroy you?
The signal ends.
Harkinian's mind: Oah, shit! I'm going to die!
The screen starts to shake and loud and disturbing noises emit.
Harkinian starts to revisit a nightmarish vision of Meen mocking him.
Meen: Lost your way? My guardians will be happy to escort you... tO a cOzY cElL! (laughs maniacally) BOOK INTO YOUR CELL, BACKWORM!
Harkinian: Enough!
Cuts to Gwonam, outside the castle.
Gwonam: Link, get your A-Wing.
Link: But wha-
Gwonam: Just go!
Link jets off in his A-wing.
Harkinian: Hey, I've made up my mind.
Harkinian: I'm going to attack the fucker.
Gwonam: Too late.
Harkinian: Say what?
Gwonam: Link just left. He's helping to defeat Meen.
Link: Yeah!
Pilot: My Lord, sensors are detecting there is a small starfighter...
Link: Wow! This is cool!
Gwonam: Beautiful! 
He throws another energy ball, this time at Link's A-wing.
Pilot *realizing the danger*: Alert! Prepare for evacuation!
Link is shown spinning out of control as he careens towards the Star Destroyer.
Link: AAAAAAAAHHH!!
Meen: Ahh!
Meen teleports out of his Star Destroyer just before Link's A-wing crashes into the bridge. Link is suddenly teleported safely back to Hyrule.
Gwonam: Welcome back, Link!
Link: But, I was up there!
Gwonam: And I saved your life.
Link: Thanks!
Gwonam: Of course, Link.
Link: But, you're still a dick.
Meen teleports to Hoth.
Meen: I.M. Meen never quits!
Meen freezes and screams in agony. The camera then fades to black, marking the end of the episode.
Category:Transcripts