Sumo Like It Hot

The twelfth chapter of Total Drama Tokyo, posted on May 17, 2012.
==Story==
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, the contestants had a challenge where they had to eat lots of sushi, and lots of them experienced some, er, difficulties... It was quite funny, anyway, so yeah. The Fish Tails won, thanks to my amazing logic, and the Tanukis and Dharmas both had to go to elimination. Although, Horatio summoned Dolph with his saxophone playing, and Dolph did some evil stuff, so Horatio had to be evacuated from the game so he couldn't cause any more harm. Basically my way of saying, 'he was too weird.' Flora almost won the challenge, but then she didn't, so she was eliminated! Poor boring girl. Today's the merge! How will the contestants react to their new cabinmates? Who will win? Who will fail? Find out today on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"
Julian is shown lying on the couch, texting.
"Man, I'm gonna miss you guys, you were a cool team," he says sadly.
"I'm not gonna miss you. You were creepy," says Estrella.
"Oh, yeah, sure," says Julian. "You want it, and you know that."
Tolkien is gathering together his nerd cards.
"Well, Julian, we can still have a bro-lliance, right?" asks Tolkien.
"Sorry, guy, it's every man for themselves now," says Julian glumly.
"Wut?!" yells Tolkien. "But I thought we were friends!"
"We are," says Julian. "But... Hey, where's Roz?"
Roz appears out of thin air.
"Oh, don't mind me, just grabbin' all my stuff," she says. "See you later, Tolky."
"What's with all these goodbyes?!" yells Tolkien.
"Nobody likes you," says Estrella snidely.
"Hey, that's not nice. I happen to like Tolky, and I'm sure Julian does too, riiiight?" asks Roz.
"Eh?" asks Julian, looking up from his phone. "Oh, yeah, totally." He goes back to texting.
"Hey, Julian, am I ugly?" asks Estrella.
"Eh?" asks Julian, looking up from his phone again. "Oh, yeah, totally." He goes back to texting once again.
"Gee, thanks," says Estrella. "Kids these days and their stupid phones."
"Estrella, you have a phone..." says Tolkien.
"I use it for emergencies, and only emergencies," snaps Estrella.
"Eh?" asks Julian, looking up from his phone again. "Oh, yeah, totally." He goes back to texting once again.
"Who are you even texting, Julian?" asks Tolkien.
"Shawn," says Julian. "He says to expect a special surprise. Wonder what he means?"
"Ooh, maybe he's the returnee," says Tolkien.
"That would suck. I want Ari," says Roz. "And if it's not Ari, I will go psychotic."
"Looking forward to that," says Estrella sarcastically.
There is a knock on the door. Then, Puck walks in.
"Sup, chill dudes?" he asks, trying to introduce himself.
"Oh, hey, you're Puck, right?" asks Julian.
Estrella looks at Puck. "I'm out of here," she then says, and leaves. "Come on, Roz."
Roz follows Estrella. "Au revoir."
"So, guys, this is the dude cabin, huh?" asks Puck coolly.
"Nah, we're the chicks. The people who left are the dudes," says Julian.
"Those are the hottest dudes I've ever seen," says Puck.
There is an awkward pause.
"JK, folks. I'm not like that. I know you're the dudes, aren't you?" asks Puck.
"Yeah..." says Tolkien. "So, how's Casey?"
"Oh, Casey. I miss her already, yo. She's so cool and nice, isn't she?" asks Puck.
Tolkien says in the confessional, "No, actually she's annoying as the Court Jester in L&L. And that thing almost made me quit playing."
"Uh, sure, she's cool," says Tolkien.
"Cooler than a block of ice, dog," says Puck.
"So, are there any more boys?" asks Julian.
"There's Kai," says Puck. "And Layla's butler. But he's stayin' with the girls. I wish I were him."
"Dude, he's like 100," says Julian. "That's creepy, man."
"Eh, I would still do it," says Puck.
There is a puff of smoke. Kai appears with his suitcase.
"Hey, everyone, the name's Kai, but I assume you know that," says Kai. "Sup?"
"Nothing much, we're just discussing grown men and young girls," says Julian coolly.
Kai pauses. "...I'll be in the bathroom." Kai then runs away as fast as he can.
Meanwhile, the scene changes to the females' room.
Roz is sitting on her bed, playing on her laptop.
Layla walks in. "Oh, hey, it's some trash," she says.
"Excuse me?" asks Roz angrily.
"Charles, don't you agree that she's trash?" asks Layla.
"No, since she looks like a human girl, and not garbage," says Charles.
"All right, Charles, you need to learn today's vocabulary," says Layla angrily.
"I shall work on it," says Charles.
"Anyway, Layla, wanna sleep as far away from me as possible?" asks Roz.
"Ohhh, sure," says Layla. "I'd totally love to."
Layla scoots away from Roz. Roz claps happily.
Isabel then walks in.
"Hey, hey, hey!!!" she says happily. "New teamies? Cool!"
"It's the merge, dumbarse," says Layla angrily.
"What's a merge? Is it a girls' name? When I grow up, I'm gonna name my kid Merge!" says Isabel.
"That's Marge, plus who would name their kid Marge these days?" asks Layla.
"My mother is named Marge," says Charles.
"Yeah, well, you're like 1,000 years old," snaps Layla.
"No, I am not. You shouldn't judge people based on their age," says Charles wisely.
Vivienne and Casey then walk in.
"You're mad at me just because I said that you're not Chelsey?" asks Vivienne angrily. "You should know that."
"Hmph!" says Casey, and she keeps walking.
"Hey, look, it's that reject from our team who switched," says Layla meanly.
"All right, chick, wanna tussle?" snaps Casey.
"Eh, I'd rather not," says Layla.
Vivienne says in the confessional, "I seem to be the most likable girl left... Other than Roz, but she's just insane."
"So, Roz, how's it going?" asks Vivienne.
"Oh, you're that chick with the cool powers, right? Pretty good," says Roz. "You?"
"Just looking for an ally to help me get farther," says Vivienne.
"Oh, that's sweet," says Roz. "What about Kai?"
"I think he hates me," Vivienne begins to tear up.
"Aww, well, you two would be cute. Try to get him, okay? Then I'll be in an alliance with you," says Roz.
"Whatever," says Vivienne. "I'll try."
"Good," says Roz. "Do it for me." She then grimaces.
Chris walks in. "Hey, guys, time for a special surprise!"
"I hate surprises," mutters Estrella. "They're too predictable."
"That makes no sense..." says Chris. "Just come out."
The girls, followed by the boys, walk out of the building.
"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?" asks Puck, looking at Roz and giving her a slip of paper.
"Hehehehehehehehehehehe," laughs Roz obnoxiously. "No," she then says seriously.
"Yeah, she's mine, guy," says Tolkien.
"Yeah, no, Tolky," says Roz.
Tolkien says in the confessional, "Did I just get rejected? Oh, wow. I get this feeling that Roz doesn't like me, and maybe Shawn was right, am I wasting my time?"
Roz says in the confessional, "Poor Tolky doesn't know that Rosalind is a lone wolf."
Chris blows a loud whistle. Everyone pays attention.
"All right, contestants, now that it's the merge, it's time for a little twist in the gameplay," says Chris.
"Teams of two?" asks Casey.
"Harder challenges?" asks Estrella.
"Charles actually being competent?" whines Layla.
"Make out parties?" asks Puck. Everyone looks at him awkwardly.
"No, no, and no," says Chris. "It is my pleasure to announce that every contestant is hiding a secret!"
Everyone looks at Chris like they have no idea what he's talking about.
"...Just kidding. Actually, there's a returnee!" says Chris excitedly.
"We know," says Estrella. "Who is it?"
"Oh, god, please don't be Yuri..." says Julian.
"Or Wolfgang," says Puck. "I don't think he likes me, y'know?"
"Or that creep, Anderson..." says Roz.
"Well, actually, their identity will be kept secret for right now. Come on out, returnee!" says Chris jubilantly.
A person walks out from behind a car. They are wearing a ninja mask, sunglasses, a sweatshirt that conceals their chest, baggy jeans, combat boots, and a fedora.
The person pulls off their mask. "'Ello, chaps," says Dolph.
"You're not returning! Get out!" demands Chris.
"Gee, fine..." says Dolph.
Dolph disappears in a puff of smoke, and another person wearing the exact same outfit appears in his place.
"Take your hood off, dude," says Chris.
The person takes their hood off, and they are Dolph as well. "Hi, again."
Chris points to the van. Dolph gets in, and the van turns into a Nyan cat, rocketing him away.
Chef walks in, and whispers something to Chris, who nods.
"All right, new idea," says Chris. "The ten of you will get an eliminated contestant, excluding Horatio or Flora, since they both just got out. You'll have to compete in a challenge, and the person assigned to the winner of the challenge gets to return to the game."
Ten people, all in the same outfit, walk out of a limo.
"This outfit is so sweaty. I don't even wanna return," says a voice resembling Neal.
"Same, especially since Casey and Puck are still in," says a Thomas-like voice.
"I got a new pairing I support," says a high-pitched voice mischievously.
"Ahh gawt uh noo paaairing ahh suppawt," says a mocking voice.
The ten eliminated contestants sit down in a set of bleachers.
Neal takes his hood out. "Quite a bit better. I hope I get someone crappy like Isabel so I don't have to return."
Wolfgang takes out some body spray and sprays himself. It smells horrible.
"Wolfgang, can you please put that away, dude?" says Bennett coolly, without his girls.
Wolfgang farts on Bennett and laughs gruffly, and Bennett keels over.
Gail picks up Bennett. "Sorry, Ben! He's a jerk, huh?" she says.
Bennett pretends to cry. "Yeah... I'm not trying to hurt him... I just want a girlfriend..."
"Aww, you poor thing," says Gail. She hugs Bennett tightly.
Bennett says in the confessional, "I'm not a mean person, and I ain't using her, but with my girls gone, I need some new ones, man."
"Come here, you. I still have another arm open," says Bennett to Delia.
Delia moves away from him. "Don't waste my time."
Ari takes off her hood in the bleachers. Tolkien turns completely white.
"What's wrong, Tolk-boy? Want some ice cubes? Got some in my pocket, for emergencies," says Puck.
"B-b-bubba-bubba-hobba-hobba-wah-wah," stutters Tolkien.
Puck puts an ice cube in Tolkien's mouth. He turns green, spits out the cube, and it flies all the way to the bleachers where it hits Shawn in the face.
"Ow!" says Shawn. Puck winks at him.
Horatio walks into the stands with Flora right behind him.
"Ooh, hi, Fellatio!" says Isabel happily.
"...What?" asks Horatio, extremely disturbed. "What did you just..."
"Oh, I have trouble with names sometimes, sorry!" says Isabel happily.
"Hehe. Reminds me of a fic of mine. It was Cameron and Geoff. So awesome!" squeals Yuri.
"That's borderline R-rating..." says Horatio, still in extreme shock.
"So, Chris, seriously, what's the challenge?" asks Julian.
"Sumo wrestling!" says Chris happily.
"Oh, god..." everyone except Puck says simultaneously.
Puck claps. "Finally, a challenge that can put my pudgy penguin body to the test!"
"First round is..." says Chris.
Chef whispers something to Chris.
"Oh, wait, I forgot about the singlets!" says Chris happily.
"Oh, dear god, no," says Tolkien. "Please, do we have to?"
"The girls wear singlets," says Chris, and Tolkien cheers, but then Chris says, "And the boys must wear diapers!"
"WHAT?!" yells Tolkien.
Casey looks at Puck, and shudders.
"You know you wanna see my sexy buff bod," says Puck.
Casey says in the confessional, "K, is it just me, or did Puck suddenly turn into Nic?"
"Anyway. The first round is Puck against Tolkien!" says Chris exuberantly.
Tolkien looks at Puck, in the diaper, and shakes his head sadly.
Chris toots a loud horn. "Go!"
"Wait, but I don't even know how to--" says Tolkien.
Puck charges at him full blast, and tackles him onto the ground. The other contestants watch the two almost naked boys writhing around, trying to pin each other.
"This is so awkward..." says Bennett. Gail hugs him tightly.
Wolfgang holds up a giant sign that reads "BEAT PUCK'S LITTLE $&@#%".
Puck pauses from his wrestling to look at the sign. "Hey, that's dirt--"
While he is talking, Tolkien begins to creep up behind Puck, then winks at Ari.
Tolkien charges at Puck. "What the--" says Puck. "Holy penguins!" he yells.
"1... 2... 3!" cheer Roz and Julian, and Chris blows the whistle to end the round.
"Hey, but that wasn't fair, dude," says Puck. "I say rematch."
"Sorry, kid. Not everything is fair in the world of Total Drama," says Chris.
"Yo. That's cray cray," says Puck obnoxiously.
Chris, ignoring him, blows the horn again, and yells, "Vivienne versus Roz. Go!"
"Wait, but, I don't even--" says Vivienne.
Roz gallops towards her insanely, and pins her on the ground. "Hai-ya!"
"I wasn't even ready!" yells Vivienne in between breaths of struggling.
"Say uncle!" says Roz threateningly.
Vivienne then disappears from under Roz mysteriously. "Nah," she then says, and appears again behind Roz, pushing her onto the ground.
"How did you do that?!" screams Roz.
Vivienne winks. "I have my ways," she says cunningly.
"1... 2... 3!" the crowd cheers, especially a sweaty Tolkien, Julian, and Ari.
A montage is then shown, with Isabel and Charles wrestling while a lazy Layla is yelling, as well as Julian versus Casey and many other matchups.
"It's the final round!" narrates Chris. "Kai versus Estrella!"
"GOOOO, KAI!" yells Vivienne in the stands.
"He doesn't like you. Jussayin'," says Casey. "Trying to look out for you."
"Ah, well... I'll get him to like me!" says Vivienne.
"Whatever you say, chick," scoffs Casey.
"These pairs are all so weird," says Kai while trying to pin down Estrella.
"Eh. I'm not even paying attention. I don't care if I lose the challenge, sumo is a complete waste of time," says Estrella.
"K, so I suppose I can do this," says Kai. He pushes Estrella over, sits on her, and counts to three.
"Kai just won, Chris," says Layla, who seems to be irritated.
"Hey, that was crap. I deserve another chance," says Estrella.
"Awesome, Kai, congratulations for winning the challenge!" says Chris.
Kai is looking dazed. "I... hate... sumo wrestling."
"Guys, wanna see who Kai's contestant was? The one who gets to return?" asks Chris.
"No, not really," says Estrella dryly.
"Hey, I do. I can't wait for Shawn to be back," says Julian determinedly.
"Don't you mean Thomas?" asks Casey.
"Hey, I thought you hated Thomas and liked me!" protests Puck.
"I have rapid changes in my mood," explains Casey solemnly.
An intern appears next to the losers, who now all have their hoods on. The intern whispers something, and they all leave except one.
The sole remaining loser walks from the bleachers and down to the other contestants.
The loser then takes off their mask.
"Welcome back to the game, Ari," says Chris. Everyone gasps.
"B-b-bubba-bubba-hobba-hobba-wah-wah," stutters Tolkien.
"HEY, GUYS!!!" she says happily. "Glad to be back!"
"ZOMFG SILTEFHNVZADHIYEAXVBLOKFSXB GOLBSSTJNCA!!!!" says Roz extremely happily.
"Roz! Yay! Ooh, my friends are still here, cool!" says Ari. "I missed you guys!"
"I MISSED YOU TOO!" yells Tolkien. He runs up to her and hugs her.
Ari pushes him off. "Tolkien, I just got back, don't rush things..."
Casey pushes everyone out of the way to get to Ari. "Watch it," glares Layla.
"Hey, Ari," Casey pronounces it like 'airy.' "Wanna be friends? You seem popular enough. You were a fan favorite and all."
"I don't know you..." says Ari.
"Maybe that can change," grins Casey widely. "I'm Casey. Hot girl extraordinaire."
"Ain't that right," winks Puck. Casey glances at him.
"Oh, and you're that odd kid. Pack, right?" asks Ari. "You're funny."
"Puck is not funny," says Tolkien jealously. "I'm way funnier. Right?"
"Hey, he ain't funny. All he does is talk about how much he loves you," says Puck.
"I really don't want to get caught up in an argument about who's funnier. Is this the King of Komedy, part 2?" asks Ari.
"You're right. My cuz is the king, and I'm not..." says Tolkien, and then he pauses. "I'm the Prime Minister. Ha-ha-haaa."
"Okay, bub, that's going too far," says Puck angrily.
Puck and Tolkien begin to get into an intense argument about jokes and girls.
"Soooo, how's everything?" asks Roz.
"Fine, I suppose..." says Ari. "You?"
"Eh, just being forced to live with these morons," says Roz.
"I totally feel for you," says Ari. "Let's go to the dorms so I can unpack my stuff, ok?"
"Meet you there," says Roz. She throws down a smoke bomb and disappears.
The camera turns to Chris. "While Ari is getting situated, the other contestants have to go to elimination! How exciting is that?" he asks happily.
"I couldn't care less," says Julian.
Ari says in the confessional, "Well, I'm glad I'm back with my friends... Mostly Roz. I still kinda like Tolkien, but I don't know if I should go advertising that... I think that Kathie chick changed my status to "Relationship: Tolkien" on the official site... Crap. Maybe I should avoid him..."
Chris is then shown at the elimination ceremony.
"Kai, you won the challenge, and Ari, you just returned, so both of you are safe, for now," says Chris. He tosses the two of them sushi.
"Cool, man," says Kai.
"Layla, Tolkien, Roz, and Puck are safe, too," says Chris. The four get their sushi.
Tolkien attempts to move close to Ari and gives her a flirtatious look, but she scoots towards Roz.
"Julian. Estrella. Aaaand, Casey," says Chris.
Julian grabs his sushi and looks at Estrella, who gives him the finger in return.
"Isabel and Vivienne. One of you will be out tonight. Who will it be? Find out in approximately twenty seconds. The last sushi goes to..."
"Isabel."
"Yay, I love sushi!" squeals Isabel.
"Viv, whyyy?" asks Roz sadly.
"All right, guys, I voted myself out. Truth is, I don't want to continue if the boy I like doesn't like me. That's the reason I even joined this game in the first place, to get a boyfriend," says Vivienne.
Everyone stares at Kai. "This couldn't possibly get more awkward..." he says.
"Beans and cornbread," says Puck in a deep, gruff voice.
"It just did," says Kai.
"Well, I suppose I'll miss you guys. Time to go back to crappy home life with my sisters," says Vivienne, and she disappears.
"WAIT!" yells Kai.
Vivienne resurfaces. "What do you want?"
"Kay, Viv. I re-re-really like you. I, I, I, I actually... L-l-l-like you," says Kai.
"That's what they all say..." she mutters sadly.
"I s-s-seriously do. I'm just super shy around girls... I can't talk to them. Like, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm stuttering, ri-ri-right now, cause I'm just about to p-pee my pants..." says Kai. "W-w-will you g-g-go out with... Me?"
"That is the cutest thing ever!" squeals Isabel happily.
Vivienne beams. "YEEEEEESSSSSSS!"
The two run towards each other cheesily, while romantic music plays, but then the music stops, and Chris says, "Time to go."
"I'll do it for you!" yells Kai. Vivienne disappears.
"Soooooo..." says Casey.
"Go to bed," says Chris. Once they have all left, he says, "Who will be the next to leave? Will Ari survive? Find out on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"