Yōkai Gabba Gabba

The eighth chapter of Total Drama Tokyo, posted on April 1, 2012.
==Story==
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo. The contestants had an old challenge, also known as making and performing skits. This time, they had some help from Dolph and Arthur, although Arthur busted out real quickly, before the Dharmas could even use him. The Dharmas failed miserably for their play, and the other teams did all right. I guess. Actually, they all sucked, but this is just me attempting to be nice. Anyways, the Dharmas were sent to elimination, but they all got out alive... Thanks to the Fish Tails' very own Yuri, who went too far with her yaoi fanfictions and was eliminated by the producers and I. Who will be out next? What kind of warped challenges will I think of today? Find out right here, right now, on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"
Julian wakes up, stretches, and begins to cheer loudly.
Estrella takes off her sleeping mask. "What the crap are you yelling about?"
"Estrella. You don't realize that scary Yuri is gone. Forever. EEEE!" yells Julian.
"Wait... She's gone? I thought my mind was playing tricks on me," says Estrella. "I may have to smile..."
"You've never smiled?" asks Julian. "Come to think of it, you do growl and frown a lot..."
"No. I don't smile. Smiling is overrated," says Estrella.
"Come on, Yuri is gone, which gives us time to get our heads in the game!" says Julian.
Tolkien comes out of the bathroom with his hair dryer on extremely loudly. He tries to say something, but his hair dryer drowns out every bit of noise.
"WHAAAAT?" yells Julian, trying to understand him.
"WE CAN'T HEAR YOU. SPEAK UP," yells Estrella.
Tolkien tries to speak, and points to the off switch on the hair dryer. Estrella nods.
Tolkien switches off the hair dryer. "Oh. Good morning, guys. Did you have a good sleep?"
"Never had a better night of sleep," says Julian.
"Don't you guys miss Yuri? I mean, at all?" asks Tolkien. "Despite her creepiness?"
"No, not really," says Estrella. "But then again, I somehow didn't miss Ari, so my heart is probably just really small and blackened."
Tolkien says in the confessional, "I have bigger things to worry about. Ever since me and Roz kissed last night, I've kinda had a little thing for her... She's so cute and fun. But Ari is too. Ugh, I'm so freaking conflicted. I feel like playing some Planet of Battlecraft."
Tolkien logs onto a computer and gets onto his PoB account.
"Hey, is that Planet of Battlecraft?" asks Roz, swinging down from the ceiling.
"Yeah, you know about it?" asks Tolkien happily.
"Well, it used to be my, like, favorite game. Hehe. I used it to take my disturbing inner emotions out on goblins," says Roz.
"I love taking my disturbing inner emotions out on goblins!" exclaims Tolkien.
"Whaddya know, we're so much alike! Hehe," says Roz.
There is a note under the door. Julian walks over to it. "What's this?" he inquires.
He picks up the note and reads it aloud. "Dear Fish Tails, since you guys are really pathetic and are down a member (even though you had the most members to begin with), you guys get a new teammate. Write down who you want on this team from the Tanukis, and we'll send them over here."
"All righty, guys, who should we choose?" asks Tolkien.
"Well, Horatio seems really chill and nice," says Julian.
"Yeah, I like Horatio. Casey is quite attractive," says Tolkien.
"Calm it, little one, you already like two girls. I'd stop right there if I were you," says Estrella.
"Whatever. What about that one purple witch chick? She's all right," says Roz.
"Yeah, Vivienne? Ehh. Then there's Thomas and that one girl who nobody remembers..." says Tolkien.
"What one girl? I thought Casey and Vivienne were the only chicks on that team," says Julian.
"Exactly," says Roz.
"Horatio, Casey, Thomas, Flora, Vivienne..." Julian counts on his fingers. "There's one more. Who is it?"
"Oh, god. Puck," says Roz.
"That creepy penguin guy?" asks Estrella. "I hate him. DEFINITELY not him."
"But he's so funny. I love his comedy. Hehehehehe," says Roz.
"I hate it!" says Estrella.
"Y'know, I kinda wanna choose Puck just so I can troll you..." says Tolkien.
"Please don't. Unless you want to wake up tomorrow morning underwater," says Estrella.
"Actually, that would be fun," says Julian.
Estrella takes out a pair of scissors. "That is not my point."
"All right, we'll choose Horatio," says Roz quickly.
Tolkien takes the sheet of paper and writes down "Puck.", then giggles.
Chris comes out of nowhere and takes the paper.
"I'll be taking that. Hmm, you wrote Puck, eh?" he asks.
"You WHAT?!" yells Estrella angrily.
"Well, you're not getting Puck. The producers have found that he's the funniest around Casey and Thomas. So, we're gonna go with your second choice, Horatio!" says Chris.
Everyone cheers.
Horatio walks in. "Hey, you cool old Fish Tails. What's the haps?" he asks.
"Hey, Horatio, dawg. Glad you're on the Fish Tails now. We're totally a G team," says Julian.
"Yeah, tell me more about how you've always been so 'G,'" says Estrella cynically.
"You're not that mean, or funny," says Roz. "That's Layla's job."
"Speaking of Layla..." says Chris.
The scene changes to the Dharmas' dorm.
Layla is asleep with an undershirt and sleeping mask on. She holds up a sign that says, "CHARLES WAKE ME UP".
Charles sighs, then takes out a bullhorn, and blows it in Layla's face, waking her up as well as everyone else.
"What the crap was that for, Charles?!" she yells groggily.
"You had informed that you wished to be awakened," says Charles.
"Did it ever come to you that I might have been kidding?" asks Layla angrily.
"Well, there is no way of knowing, since you were, of course, asleep," says Charles.
"Ugh. Isabel, get your butt over here," says Layla.
Isabel comes over to Layla.
"Heehee! Hey, Layla-y! You look so pretty!" she says.
"I just got up, dipwad," says Layla.
"Acceptable story, my brethren," says Charles.
"Charles, you said that wrong," says Isabel wisely. "The proper form is 'cool story, bro'."
"How did you know that? You don't even know your ABC's," says Layla dubiously.
"Well, maybe her strength lies in other areas," says Charles.
"Teehee!" says Isabel, who is sticking pens up her nose and laughing.
"Yeeeah..." says Layla. "We'll go with that."
"Oh, and also, Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz," says Isabel.
"..." says Layla.
"By the way, where are the boys?" asks Charles.
"Why do you care, Charles? Do you have a thing for teenage boys?" asks Layla rudely.
"No, I was just looking out for their safety," says Charles.
Neal is asleep. Kai is playing with matches.
"Kai, that's dangerous. You're gonna kill us," says Layla angrily.
"Nah, it's a new trick I've been practicin'. Watch this," says Kai.
Kai rubs the two matches together, and instead of fire, paper streamers come out.
"Kai, why can't you use your magic to help us in challenges?" asks Layla.
"Well, 'cause that would be cheating, and I don't cheat," says Kai. "Sorry, miss."
Layla makes a derp face.
Kai claps his hands, and a giant ball of mist shaped like a snake comes out of his hands.
"How is that even..." says Charles.
The scene switches to the Tanukis.
"Hey, where's Horatio?" asks Thomas, waking up.
"Chris gave us a note. It says that he gave him to the Fish Tails," says Vivienne. "Oh no!"
"Poor little Horatio," says Casey sarcastically. "He didn't even do anything."
"Yeah, but he was my friend!" says Thomas.
"Well, I'm your friend too. Come here, honey," says Casey, winking.
Thomas reluctantly comes over to Casey.
She seductively pulls him close to her. "Now, you aren't missing Horatio, are you now?"
"Actually, you didn't affect my emotions at all," says Thomas.
Puck wakes up. "I'm up!"
"Yeah, we can see it, no need to broadcast it to the whole team," says Casey.
"Hey, babe, you like me, eh? Why you bein' rude?" asks Puck.
"I'm just not even gonna bother anymore," says Casey. "I think I'm better single."
"Okay. Whatevs. It's not like I care..." says Puck, right before he breaks out in tears.
Flora then wakes up.
"Hi, guys, that was a great night! What's up?" asks Flora.
Everyone ignores her.
"All right. I guess you can do that, too... Ugh..." says Flora.
Puck says in the confessional, "Man. Casey is really bothering me these days... I just wish Wolfie was still here. I could totally connect with him."
Flora says in the confessional, "I am so freaking tired of being ignored. I think I should make myself a little bit more noticeable."
Chef meets the contestants outside for the challenge.
Flora walks up to them wearing an Afro wig. "Hey, everyone!"
"Who are you? And what's wrong with your hair?" asks Layla disgustedly.
Flora tears off the wig. "It's no use. Ugh."
"Anyway, Chef, why are you here? And where's Chris?" asks Horatio.
"Chris is in th' bathroom. Today's challenge is t' find a key somewhere in Tokyo. Th' key opens some sorta treasure chest, which has invincibility passes inside. Got it?" says Chef.
"Sure. Sounds fun, I guess," says Julian.
"Are you kidding? It sounds like torture. I hate when you try to be enthusiastic," says Estrella.
Tolkien begins to attempt to lead his team.
"All right, guys, where should we look? The city? The countryside? The sewers?" he asks.
"I think the countryside, the best spots are there," says Julian.
"Guys, I kinda know a shortcut. Haaaaa," says Roz.
Chef is shown in the confessional. "I may or may not have mentioned that the forest is full o' Japanese Yōkai thingies. No idea what they are, but they sound dangerous. So, the contestants should have some fun with that."
"Roz, what kind of shortcut do you know?" asks Tolkien.
"It doesn't matter," says Estrella.
"Guys, we gotta work together if we wanna accomplish our goals," says Horatio calmly.
"I know a shortcut through the woods. I've been here before," says Roz.
"What a surprise," says Estrella snidely.
"STFU, Strelly," says Julian.
"Whatever. Let's just go, guys," says Tolkien.
The Fish Tails see an umbrella lying there in the middle of the forest.
Tolkien picks up the umbrella, and puts on sunglasses.
"Oh, I say! I am Mary Poppins! Jolly good show!" he says in a falsetto British accent.
"Uh, I don't think..." says Horatio.
The umbrella begins to change. The handle turns into a single leg with a geta on, the parasol part grows an eye and a grotesque mouth.
"What the crap is that?!" yells Tolkien.
"I told you that it wasn't a good idea!" warns Horatio.
"Blargh!" says the umbrella thing.
"Come on, drop the freaking thing! Let's go!" yells Roz.
"It's a karakasa obake," says Estrella wisely. "I read all about them in this one weird book I checked out from the library once. They're a kind of yōkai, Japanese monsters, called Tsukumogami. They're basically household objects that transform into creatures. It's heavily disturbing, but ... cool."
Tolkien throws the karakasa obake into a bush, and it growls. He then runs away, and motions for the rest of them to come with him.
The scene changes to the Dharmas, who are walking through the sewers.
"So, why again are we in the sewers? Charles, get me a juice box," says Layla.
Charles reluctantly hands her a juice box.
"We're in the sewers because there are kappas in here. And even though they're jerks, they can help us find the key," says Kai.
"What the crap is a kappa?" asks Layla.
"Layla, can't you just shut up for like, 10 seconds?" asks Neal. "Gosh."
A creature that has a flat head with hair, and a green body that resembles a turtle or monkey with a turtle shell, appears drinking water.
"Hey! You! You're a kappa, right?" asks Kai.
"Yeah, whatsittoya?" asks the kappa rudely.
"We're just looking for a key," whispers Delia. "Help us?"
"Uh, sure, fine, whatev. I haven't seen no key 'round these parts. But your best bet is th' countryside," says the kappa.
"All right, thanks, little monkey dude!" says Isabel.
"Now, you must give me a cucumber, or I will suck your blood," says the kappa. It opens its mouth to reveal fangs.
"Uh, we don't have any cucumbers," says Neal.
"Blood is just as yummy," says the kappa.
"Charles, get him a cucumber," says Layla.
Charles shakes his head. "I do not have a cucumber in my possession."
"Well, then, we can't let him suck our blood. We gotta get out of here!" says Kai.
"Use some of your magic!" says Layla angrily.
"I already told you, I don't use it for anything other than novelty," says Kai.
The kappa licks its lips. Layla throws a rock at it, and then the team runs away. The kappa chases after them, screaming dirty things.
Kai reluctantly waves his wand, and a rope appears in front of the kappa. He trips over it, and the water spills out from his flat bowl-shaped head.
The kappa gets woozy and falls over. "Urgh... Need water... Can't move..." The kappa then passes gas loudly.
"Come on, let's get out of here," says Delia softly.
The Tanukis are searching along for the key.
"So, we're in the countryside, but there's no key," says Puck.
"We've been searching for five minutes, dude," says Thomas.
"So what? I expected to see the key the second we started the challenge!" says Puck.
"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way," says Vivienne.
They then see a large raccoon dog thing standing in the middle of the woods. It is jolly looking and wearing a hat.
"Hey, it's our team mascot!" yells Thomas.
The tanuki waves cheerfully at them.
"I didn't know tanukis were real," says Puck.
"Well, they are, loser," snaps Casey.
Puck sighs sadly. "Whatever."
The tanuki makes a squeaking noise, holds up a drawing of a key, and points to a direction in the forest.
"Hey, I think he's showing us where the key is!" says Flora gleefully.
"Yeah, guys, let's go," says Thomas.
"I'm gonna take a wazz. Where's the nearest bathroom?" asks Puck.
"Nature is your bathroom," says Vivienne.
"Ooh, I see a port-a-potty in the woods!" says Flora, pointing to a port-a-potty that looks to be made of wood.
Puck points to his bladder, nods, then sprints to the port-a-potty. He opens the door to the port-a-potty, then gets in, and takes off his pants and underwear.
"You guys can catch up with me later, okay? I gotta go poop-a-doop!" says Puck loudly so the rest of his team hears.
"OK!" yells a voice resembling Thomas.
Puck gets up, and reaches for the toilet paper, but is interrupted by a voice.
"WILL YOU CHOOSE RED PAPER OR BLUE PAPER?" asks the voice.
"What the..." says Puck. "Okay, Puck. Calm yourself. You're probably just having hallucinations again... Calm down... It's just a dream..."
"I REPEAT, WILL YOU CHOOSE RED PAPER OR BLUE PAPER?" repeats the horrifying voice.
"All right, uhh, blue, I guess... Eek..." says Puck.
A mysterious hand comes out of nowhere and begins to strangle Puck until his face turns blue.
"Eeeeegggcccchhhh!" he yells, gasping for air. The hand doesn't let go until Puck says, "No paper." The hand then disappears, and Puck runs out of the stall extremely quickly.
"Ohhhmygod! There was a spooky thing in there! It strangled me!" says Puck, panting and running up to the team.
"Was it an Aka Manto? They're Japanese spirits that live in bathrooms and ask you for red or blue toilet paper," says Vivienne.
"How do you know this kind of stuff?" asks Casey.
"I did some research," says Vivienne. "Now, we should probably keep our eyes peeled, there are most likely more yōkai in the woods. Just make sure to be quiet."
"LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE," says Puck extremely loudly and obnoxiously. "Whoops. What did you just say?"
There is a rustling in the bushes. Suddenly, twenty gigantic red Onis come out with spears, surrounding the Tanukis.
"We're screwed," says Thomas.
The Fish Tails are fishing for stuff.
"Why, again, are we fishing? There won't be a key in the water," says Estrella angrily.
"Fishing is a fun thing to do," says Julian.
"Darn right," says Horatio.
"Hee, hee, guys, look what I caaaaaught," says Roz. She holds up some sort of fish creature.
"What the crap is that?" asks Tolkien. "It looks like the Water Spirit from Luncheons and Laggins!"
"It's called a ningyo," says Roz. "It's supposed to bring us good luck and all that chiz. I've done research too!"
"Actually, that's not true. They bring misfortune and storms," says Estrella. "I know this stuff."
Roz just stares at Estrella.
"What are you waiting for, throw it in the pond!" yells Julian.
Roz stares at Julian, then throws the ningyo into the pond. It says something softly, then swims away.
"All right, guys, let's get out of here," says Tolkien. "It's getting dark out. I'm getting scared."
A gigantic wall creature appears in front of the Fish Tails.
"What's that?" asks Horatio.
"It's a nurikabe. Relax," says Roz.
Tolkien says in the confessional, "Sorry, Ari, but Roz's knowledge of nerdy Japanese stuff is so hot..."
"Don't even t--" says Roz.
Horatio tries to move around the nurikabe. It extends to where Horatio is and he hits his face on it.
Horatio angrily kicks the lower part of the nurikabe. It then vanishes.
The Dharmas are now camping under the stars.
"So, you set up the tent?" asks Neal.
"Yeah, just did it," says Kai. "We can share it. I wonder what kind of monsters we'll see now?"
"Ugh, I hate all of the monsters. They're creepy. Charles, get rid of them," says Layla.
"But there are no monsters around at the moment," says Charles.
A gigantic head of a scary-looking woman appears in the sky.
"All right, the kappa at least had a meaning, but this thing is random as crap," says Kai.
"An Ōkubi," says Delia softly.
"What do they do?" asks Isabel, who is scared.
"If they are in the sky, they are a warning of an impending disaster..." says Delia quietly.
"Oh, I wonder what that could be," says Layla.
It then randomly starts to thunderstorm. Lightning crashes, and it rains heavily.
"Welp, that's what it is," says Neal.
"Ugh, we gotta get in our tents," says Kai.
"But I'm super hungry. Ooh, look, there's a tree over there. Charles, get me one of those fruits," says Layla.
Charles, who is extremely wet, walks over to the tree and grabs a fruit. The fruit, which has a human head, cackles. Charles screams loudly, drops the fruit, and runs back to Layla.
"What are you doing?! I told you to get the fruit," says Layla.
Isabel picks up the fruit and shows Layla.
Layla turns green and passes out onto Charles.
"That was a Jinmenju, or 'human-face tree'," says Delia. "Don't worry, they are just creepy-looking and do not do any harm."
"Like you?" asks Neal. Delia glares at him.
The Tanukis are walking through the forest.
"All right, this is the last straw. It's raining, we almost got killed by Onis, there's nowhere to sleep, we can't find the key anywhere, and Puck won't stop complaining about his itchy butt," says Casey.
"Uuuuuuu," says Puck, itching his rump.
"Hey, look, a person. Let's ask for directions," says Thomas. He points to a woman, who is standing in the rain wearing a kimono.
"Hello, can you possibly give us directions to find a key?" asks Puck, talking while moving his hands annoyingly.
The woman just stands there, staring at Puck.
"Maybe she can't speak English?" asks Puck.
"Wait, something's not right..." says Casey.
The woman turns around, and has a gigantic mouth on the back of her head.
"BLAAAARGH!" yells the mouth.
Thomas screams like a little girl, grabs Puck, and the whole team runs away, past the Fish Tails.
"Wait, it's Horatio!" yells Thomas. "Where ya goin'?"
"Sorry, but I'm not on your team anymore," says Horatio, while running.
Estrella slaps him. "Don't talk to him!"
Horatio shakes his head, and the Fish Tails run away.
They eventually get to a shrine. The weather clears up, revealing two lion-dogs sitting on rocks, and a box on a pedestal.
"Hey, look, it's the key!" says Julian.
A small Japanese man comes up to the Fish Tails.
"YOU... SHALL... NOT... PASS!" he yells.
"Oh, look, a shrimpy Japanese dude who's gonna turn into some warped monster," says Roz.
The dude's neck begins to grow extremely long. His face then warps into a horrifying, troll-esque face. "You got it, missy."
Estrella throws a pebble at the creature, and it falls over.
"All right, let's get the key!" says Tolkien.
Roz runs up to the pedestal, and grabs the key.
"Got it. Looks like we won the challenge!" says Roz.
Chris comes up to them, in a helicopter. He says, using a megaphone, "Good job, guys. You won, finally! Now, you can have invincibility, and get out of these creepy woods."
"Okie-dokie, artichokie!" says Tolkien.
"My life was so much better before you said that," snaps Estrella.
The Tanukis and the Dharmas come up to Chris and the Fish Tails as well.
"You don't even want to know what kind of things were in that forest," says Thomas.
"I do know! The producers enjoyed them!" says Chris.
"Which team lost?" asks Kai.
"Uh, how about both of you? Hehe. See you at elimination!" says Chris.
"Ugh." says Layla. "What a crappy team."
"Relax, Layla, you might not get eliminated today. It may very well be a Tanuki," says Charles.
Isabel says in the confessional, "Today was creepy. So many weird people! Why can't they just leave us alone?"
Neal says in the confessional, "No idea who's going home tonight. Better be Layla."
Layla says in the confessional, "Charles, get in here."
Charles comes into the confessional. "Yes?"
"Oh, nothing, I just like saying your name," says Layla.
Charles slaps his head. "A butler's work is never done."
Chris is at the elimination ceremony.
"All right, where do I start... Tanukis and Dharmas. You two teams are both named after Japanese spirits, yet you lose the Japanese spirits challenge. Pathetic. Anyway, the first marshmallow goes to Kai."
Kai catches the sushi in his hat. "You said marshmallow."
"Do I look like I care?" says Chris. "Next up are Flora, Vivienne, and Casey."
The three girls get their sushi.
"This looks nothing like a marshmallow," says Casey.
"Shut up, I get confused!" says Chris. "Isabel is also safe."
Isabel giddily gets her sushi.
"Aaaand, Puck. Aaaand, Thomas," says Chris.
Puck and Thomas get their sushi.
"Layla," says Chris.
"Charles, gimme my sushi," says Layla.
Charles hands her the sushi, and she throws it. It hits Suzuki, who walks away grumbling.
"That was a waste of a perfectly good sushi," says Charles.
"I like wasting things," says Layla.
"Delia and Neal. The final sushi goes to..."
"Delia."
Delia catches her sushi and crushes it in her palm.
"You should have known better," she says. She then walks away, leaving everyone spooked.
"Well, that was creepy. But why would you vote me out?" asks Neal.
"You're annoying," says Layla. "Plus, last challenge, you got really pissed at us, and we were gonna vote for you, but Yuri got taken away."
"All right. You guys just lost your best player," says Neal angrily, as he storms off.
"I never really liked him," says Kai.
"Who will be the next voted out? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"