The next season of The Bachelor is beginning in just a few short weeks. Having proven ourselves to be big fans of the series with our Facebook live video reviews this past year, it was only logical that everything in the office would stop when the newest contestants’ bios went up on the ABC website. To wit: Alexis, 23, is an “aspiring dolphin trainer” whose biggest fear is “E.T. the alien.” Or consider Briana, 28, who, if she could be any animal, would be a “Dolphin so I could breathe underwater, do flips and be cute.” Perhaps Jasmine G. is more your style, who at 29 is a pro basketball dancer who calls herself the “girl version” of Guy Fieri.