The Press. — 1858-07-10 (London, England)

SCENE.—The Breakfast•room. Lords P— and G— discovered tete•a tete, just finishing their meal.  Lord G—. Delicious strawberries, indeed. What do you call them ? Alpines ? Lord P—. Yes, I think so. The food of the Golden Age, you know. "Arbuteos fetus, ramie:moque fraga." Lord G—. Query. Ought this to be called the golden age in compliment to the " diggings" ? Lord P—. I don't quite know. Engineers call it an age of iron ; but, as far as my experience goes, brass has a good deal to do with it. Lord G—. I'll tell BERNAL OSBORNE that—he'll quite agree with you. By-the-bye, what has he been about this month past ? I've not heard of any recent atrocity in the way of puns or personalities. Lord P— (musing). It's a bad sign, I'm afraid. If there were any chance of a brisk party movement—of carrying the Treasury by a " coup-de-main "—he'd be as noisy as a kitty wake before a storm. The game's up for the session. Lord G—. Why, yes, that's been clear enough ever since CARDWELL broke down so woefully. I don't mind the majorities so much ; but the tone of the men is altered. DERBY'S set speak more decisively, and our side have given up patronizing them. Even you, P—, though you're always game for a laugh, don't chuckle quite as much as WIKOFF says you used to do. Lord P—. Confound that fellow's impudence ! Lucky he hadn't served me so before that Crampton business. " I guess there'd have been a difficulty ." It's too bad of you, G—, to quote such a scamp against me.  Lord G—. Well, well, my dear fellow, I beg your pardon. " I didn't ought to have ryled you," as they say in the new country. I only mean, you have rather changed your style of late. Lord P—. Trust me for that. I never follow up a losing game. I'm doing the dignified and impartial just now, and say a word for the Ministry now and then, as there's nothing to be gotten by dividing against them. But next session— . . _  Lord G—. You mean to go in and winch ? Lord P—. No; I mean to win and go in. And if ever Ido get in again, I should like to see— Lord G—. I should like to sec it, too. By-the-bye, are you going to Cremorne to-night ? There will be no row to speak of. Lord P—. Catch me trying. At least, if I do go, I'll not publish it. It's all very well for a Whig " pur sang" like you, G— ; it's quite in your line to do the select. But I've heard enough about an "exclusive clique," and I don't mean to get into bad odour, even in the best of company. You may laugh, but you'll see me conic out as the "popular candidate" at the next general election. Lord G. Whew ! what., is DERBY going to dissolve ? Lord P—. Not of hie own free will, as far as I know; but perhaps I may make him. Lord Kill your own Parliament ! Why, my dear fellow, it would be political suicide. Lord P—. I don't know that—we've won East Norfolk. Lord G—. Not lost it, you mean. But it was a near thing, and I fear we shall be minus a seat next time. No, no, depend upon it, this present House is your best card. DERBY will gain by a change—so may Baionr—but you are sure to lose. You will never sport such winning colours again.  661  Lord P—. China silk, eh ? Well, "that was a neat thing, tho' I say it." How we worked the British flag ! And how they raved when I said the war was caused by what happened afterwards. Lord G—. And wanted you to apologize. Lord P—. Ay, fancy my apologizing, except when some foreigner insults me and shows fight ! But that was a neat thing. Well, well, we may come in for another slice of luck yet. Lord G—. You don't mean to lie on your oars and whistle for a wind, do you ? Lord P—. Not exactly that; but I shall hold back and look out for a false move in the enemy's game. It will be their Reform Bill, not mine. RussELL may try a contre-pnjet, if he likes, but I mean to pitch into Dizzy's measure. Lord G—. But you don't know what it is. Lord P—. I know the species, if not the individual. I helped to carry one Reform Bill, though RUSSELL worked the schedules ; and one pill is a dose. If ever I volunteer to support another, may Ibe set to clean the Thames and take my orders from Major