The Potteries Examiner : — 1878-12-28 (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England)

QUIPS" BY "QUIZ."  A coffin maker in these parts was caught the other day, by his wife, in the act of kissing another woman. The lady, with Imlay words, explained to the wife that she had come to par. chase a coffin for her husband, and that the coffin man remiaded her so much of the " dear defunct," that she fell on his neck and wept—and yet— when she want out—she left her hat, back hair, comb, and false teeth behind her.  A lively evangelistic service was being held not many miles from Silverdale a few Sundays ago. Great things were being done, and whilst some could not remain inside, several outside made their way in. Suddenly a fashionable young man cried out, as though in pain, "Oh! mercy, goad heavens!" Two or three of the brethren sailed down the aisle instanter, and haulnel up the sad one to the "form." It was s t t before that young man ,could make !aim, ii 1,, .3 ; Let when he did so, aud explained that he ejaculated so vehemently because a sixt.aen stone woman in spectacles had dropped her corpus upon his new tall hat, they let that penitent go.  Among the items of this week's news I read the following On Saturday last at the ordination held at USW; Worcester Cathedral by the Bi,hop of Worcester, the Rev. J. P. Driver, describol as a literate, the late minister of Toreoan wood 0011greg,ationsl Church, Wolverhampton, was ord,!t.Nl a land afterwards licensed to the curacy of St. Paul's, Leamington Priers.  Who dares to be critical now that our Driver To Conformity's gone, from Noncons a sliver— A branch that's cut off—sure the step must be good— To Leamington Priors from Tettenhall Wood. A Methodist shoot, Independency's sapling, And now something like epissopal chaplain. Should these changes proceed—the next time our Driver Will have driven so far, he'll be changed to a Skiver 'Tis this way some coaches religious are driven By a round-about road up the steep hill to Heaven, As I strolled dos; the Cannock.road on Mon. day, I ina an army of jovial stone-breakers snowballing and larking with each other. They seemed jubilant that there W. 1.3 as --bac to break that day ; particularly as their p wei not to be curtailed.  The Pottery tailors are said to hare been sun on the goose this Christmas, but I consider this nothing less than flat irori.y.  Turkey-rhubarb! According to the "Censors,' some 15,000 died suddenly last week, and many a censorian of the foul tribe is now without chides child.  A desperate ex inewspiper proprietor says his turkey must have been taking medicine, because there was no hi/e in it on Christmas Day. Can-he-lie ! His epitaph— He wore the most cheek in the city. He rooted up filth like a sow, He drank, lied, and swore—snore's the pity— And that's just why he ain't here now.  The Theatre Royal was loaded up to the muzzle on Boxing night to see "Beauty and the Beast." They beheld the former—and several felt themselves to be the latter, when, filled with fluid, they reeled into their marriage quarters, pleading with "hies" for amens—  So the Amcor ha a bolted, and we have skyugled 'Alf Ghanistan, and doubtless shall soon possess whole Ghanistan. Cable news notwithstanding, it is sheer folly to expect the merest chance of making an ally of this Ali' sow that he's sheered off.  A. new cocoa-house, I see, has been opened in Hanley. These houses are a boon to the working classes, !but I can't say I care for plum buns, thick slices, or coffee and tea made ea bloc ready milked and sugared; but if a man desiring a heavy feed at a cheap rate goes there he gets value for his coin. One other objection is that on entering the house a few evenings ago, I was greeted by a table full of newspaper lads who were refreshing the inner boy out of the coppers realised, and who greeted me with 'ullo Mr. Quiz, 'ow err yer sir?" My dignity was somewhat ruffled, but I hughed, passed on, and vowed not to partake of refection in such company. I must draw the line, Italica' as I am, at muddy feet, minus hoots. Still, I wish the Hanley Cocoa House every success.  PEOP',E ARE SkYING  That there are a few gentlemen in Barskra awl elsewhere who are jolly goo,/ fellows this C..ristmas, and those who ray it know what they are talking about.  That Dr. Dewdrops will wish the committee at the Stoke Free Library the compliments of the season most warmly.  That of all sides, the most a:dam:holy suicide, especially at Christumatide.  That there has been plenty of cheap silo!' lately, if Thomas Terrell pref.:re it to eggs in lin pudding.