The Cotton Factory Times. — 1893-05-12 (Manchester, Greater Manchester, England)

SISTER.—Tom: "Where did you get that cake, Nellie ?." : " Mother gave it me." Toro "She is always giving you more'n she does me." Nellie: "Never mind, Tom, she's going to give castor oil, and I'll ask her to give you moat." "Awful funny joke for you, Barney." " What it, Sam ? " I asked Bill to stand me a drink, and he said he'd stand me as many as I liked, if I'd stand afterwards." Well ? " That the joke, i couldn't stand afterwards, though they tried to hoid rne up." Mr. Sparikwell (after administering a severe ! castigation to his son Tommy, sternly): "Now, sir, tell me why I punished you." His suffering victim (between " Well, I never; you nearly pound the life out of me, and now you don't even know why you did it." Uncle (to his nephew) : "I arin very sorry, my dear boy, to hear of the bad habits you have got into. If you go on as you are, you'll very soon be homeless." Young Man's Wife (between her sobs) : that is impossible, Uncle. He couldn't be I rim% home-less than he is now."  A grievous case of deliberate self•destruotion has occurred this week at Brook•street. a by-street off Brookhill, Sheffield. The topmost house in the thoroughfare is occupied by a family of the name of Flint, consisting of Edwin Flint and his wife and child. Flint was a scissors maker, aged 37. During the last fortnight he had been suffering from influenza and unable to work, and from a week last I Monday had been confined to his lied. Pneumonia supervened on the influenza, and with it Flint's mind became deranged, and his manner that of a man in a frenzy of pain. tie came downstairs and hallo a wash, and then returned to bed. He was then very bad, and wild in his manner. About halfpast nine his wife, while in the living room, heard a noise from the chamber above, as though Flint were leaving his bed and going up the garret stairs. Hastily running up the staircas- she found it was as she had imagined. Her husband had got out of bed, and was making his way up towards the ,iarret as fast as he could, attired only in his shirt. She shouted to him, and followed him as quickly as she could. Wheu he reached the top of the stairs he rushed straight across the floor of the room in the direction of the window, which he opened i an " tdh ellimmiptedletohr t4hrohftedtafirst, falling with y. His wife was just in time at the window to half clasp his leg, but not to detain him. Hurrying down, in the street she saw a crowd of people standing around her husband, who was unconscious, his head being battered and his body bruised in one or two places. Ho was taken indoors, and Mr. Scott, surgeon, sent for to bind up his wounds and attend to his injuries, the most serious being a fractured skull. He never regained consciousness, however, dying about noon. This is by no means the first suicide during the last two or three years directly traceable to influenza, nor is it the first victim to that rnalady who has jumped through a bedroom window  A Paris concierge was washing down a corridor when a lodger entered, his boots covered with mud. "Look at your feet, sir How can you come here with such feet as those?" cries the woman in a rage. But, my good madame, they happen to be the only ones I have." WHAT COULD HZ MORE POLITE ?—Here is an illustration of true Hindoo politeness from "Lady Dufferin's Journal " : A judge, who was a very bad shot, had been out for a day's sport, and on his return the man who went out with him was asked, "Well, how did the judge shoot to-day " Oh," he replied, "the judge shot beautifully, but Providence was very merciful to the birds." , SILENCE r