The Sun. — 1822-10-30 (London, England)

DRUNKARDS.  If you wish to be always thirsty, be a drunkard, for the oftener and more you drink, the oftener and more_ thirsty you will be. If you seek to prevent your friends raising you in the world, be a drunkard, for that will defeat all their efforts. if you would effectually counteract your own attempts to do yell, be a drunkard, and you will not he disappointed. If you wish to repel the endeavours of the wholehuman race to raise you to character, credit, and prosperity, be a drunkard, and you will most assuredly triumph. If you are determined to be poor, be a drunkard, and you will soon be ragged and pennyless. If you wish to starve your family, be a drunkard, for that will consume the means of their support. If you would be, spunged on by knaves, be a drunkard, for that will make their task easy. If you wish to be robbed, be a drunkard, which will enable the thief to do it with more safety. If you wish to blunt your senses, be a drunkard, and you will soon be more stupid than an ass. If you would become a fool, be a drunkard, and you will soon lose your understanding. If you wish to incapacitate yourself for rational intercourse, be a drunkard, for that will render you wholly unfit for it. If you wish all your prospects in life to be clouded, be a drunkard, and they will soon be dark enough. If you would destroy your body, be a drunkard, as drunkenness is the mother of disease. If you mean to ruin your soul, be a drunkard, that you may be excluded from Heaven. If you are resolved on suicide, be a drunkard, that being a sure mode of destruction. If you would expose both your folly and your secrets, be a drunkard, and they will run out, while the liquor runs in. If you are plagued with great bodily strength, be a drunkard, and it will soon be subdued by so powerful an antagonist. If you would. get rid of your money without knowing how, be a drunkard, and it will vanish insensibly. If you would have no resource when past labour but a workehouse, be a drunkard, and you will be unable to provide anlfy. you are determined to expel all domestic harmony from your house, be a drunkard, and Discord, with all her evil train, will soon enter. If you would be always under strong suspicion, be a drunkard, for little as 'you think it, all agree that those who steal from themselves and families, will rob others. If you would be reduced to the necessity of shunning your creditors, be a drunkard, and you will soon have reason to prefer the bye-paths to the public streets. If you like the amusements of a court of conscience, be a drunkard, and you may be often gratified. If you would be a dead weight on the community, and cumber the ground,' be a drunkard, for that will render you useless, helpless, burthensome, and expensive. If you would be a nuisance, be a drunkard, for the approach of a drunkard is like that of a dung-hill. If you would be odious to your family and friends, be a drunkard, and you will soon be more than disagreeable. If you would be a pest to society, be a drunkard, and you will be avoided as infectious. If you dread reformation of your faults, be a _drunkard, and you will be impervious to all admonition. If you would smash windows, break the peace, get your bones broken, tumble under carts and horses, and be locked up in watch-houses, be a drunkard, and it will be strange if you do not succeed. Finally, if you are determined to be utterly destroyed, in estate, body, and soul, be a drunkard, and you will soon know hat it is impossible to adopt a more effectual means to accomlish your—