The Warwickshire Herald. — 1893-08-17 (Birmingham, West Midlands, England)

SUICIDE MADE EASY.  "I have solved the problem, and the future generation will blesi my name," said the philosoph.r, and his face wore a look of mingled corn; lacency and triumph. "What problem have you solved ?" I asked. "I've taken from death its sting, and the little invention I have here will make that of dissolution a positive pleasure. "My invention is founded on that king of forces, electricity. and in brief is this: The subject is tired of life, lie is out of work, with no chance of employment; his sweetheart has forsaken him for some more favoured suitor; he has takon too much wine; and the future looks black to him. "In short, he wants to die, but is afraid. He conies to me, and for a small fee I put him in the way of taking the last journey with a foretaste Of heaven. "You see here a common electric clock; then you see there are two wires, one from either side ; the one leads to a powerful dynamo and, through it can be sent any number of volta it is deemed necessary to ensure instantaneous death. "This dynamo, of course, is hidden. In fact, anything which would be the least suggestive of unpleasant things is absolutely barred from—shall I call it my suicide parlours? "The other wire leads to this bed in the corner. The bed itself is one of the most important pieces of the machinery. "Our friend seeking oblivion comes to me. As you know, lam a physician by training I make a careful examination of him, and sin able to tell to a minine how large a Quantity of given narcotic it will take to send him into unconsciousness in • given time. "1 give him this dose, and he seta the clock for the given time. He takes his place on the bed. As he does so, mechanism is set in motion which reveals copies of the masterpieces of art, both painting and sculpture, so that the sense of sight it delighted. "At the same time the most perfect automatic musical instruments obtainable discourse the sweetest music; phonographs which have been charged with the most entrancing songs of the best singers join the heavenly chorus. The sense of hearing is charmed. "Invisible censers burn with the most delicate and subtle perfumes, satisfying at. once the 'tepees of taste and smell. "As the patient sinks into unconsciousness, with every sense gratified, just when the power to feel is about to leave him, he can feel the sweet, warm breath of the woman for whose loss perhaps he has sought death cc his face, and her lips premed to his." "Then comes—what?" "I do not know. All I know is that there is no more waking, no more pain, no more sorrow. So far as mortal mind can know it is the end. "I propose at once to interest philanthropists in , my invention, and when you get tired of giving your valuable aid to getting out the greatest newe-1 paper in the world I'll be in a position to aid you I in your praiseworthy aim with neatness and despatch—for a small consideration, of course."—Nra York Herald. Artificial Teeth exquisitely fitted. Natural in appearance, comfortable in use, and warranted to last • lifetime. Fitted complete at one visit without the extraction of loose teeth and stampe, or the least_ pain. Swam guaranteed or no charge made. Teeth from 2s ed., sets from one goings. Dented repairs oompleted while waiting. lig W. J. Watson, 1, Corporation-street, Birmingham, (first door from New-street on the left). Connie, tions free daily, le till 7, Saturdays till S. Gm L for painless extractions from 2.. Id.