The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle. — 1873-06-28 (Stourbridge, West Midlands, England)

CUTTINGS FROM AMERICAN PAPERS.  An Indian squaw hap just died at Lanosuder, Mich., aged 115. She had thirty squawlers (infants).  Arkansas newspaper correspondents in the Legislature make assertions ant "back 'em up" by saying, "I've got six bullets which says its Co." A cannty commis,ioner in the western rest of Maine, on inviting some lawyers to inspect the new court-houw, quotel the solemn lines of Dr, Watts:—  " Ye sinners round, come view the ground Where you will shortly Ile."  A coroner's jnry, empannelled to ascertain the cause of the death of a notorious drunkard, brought in a verdict of it' Desth by h inging—round a shoo." In California, a coroner's jury, nudes similarcircumstances, rendered a more courteous verdict: "Accidental death while unpacking a glass." TM- story comes from Maine :—A man in Portland married a widow. She had a fashion which is too common among ladies who've burl. d a man, of giving him glowing accounts of the angelic virtues of the slew departed. Aa a prohibition law is in force in Mame, he c mid uot drown his sorrows in liquor, so he nerved his soul to take a terrible revenge. One night when his wife was sleeping soundly, perhaps dreaming of the 'first" victim of her charms, he arose from his bed, took a sledgehammer, and deliberately rairing it to his shoulders, he marched to the graveyard and smashed the tombstone of his dead rival into little bite. Now, when his wife says any. thin. about the virtues of the der i man, he replies: "It may be all v. r) true, old g.l, rut he can't smash my tombstone ; there a where I'm dLelid.' Smith, the American poet laureate, thus breaLs forth :—" Oh, the snore, the beautiful snore, filling the eliamber from ceiling to thor ! r th- coverlet, undir the sheet, from her wee dimpled chin to her pretty feet ; now rising aloft like a bee in June, now sunk to the wail of a crscfced basson ; now, flute-like, subsiding, then rising agam, is the beautiful more of Eliztbetti Jane."  A Pekin, 111., local editor, wrote the following notice on &winning bus duti-s :—" Sensational, distressing dote Is of revolting murders and shocking suicides resinned ally solicited.. Bible class preie. tationt and ruinigerial donation parties will be ' done ' with primptueas and destatch. Keno banks and their operations made a speciality. Accurate reports oi Sunday school anniversaries guaranteed. The local e liter will cheerfully walk BrarritreL miles after Sunday school to see and report a prize fight. Funerals and all other melancholy occasions written up in a Moaner to challenge admiration. Horse races reported in the highest style of the reportorial art. Domestic broils and conjugal infelicities sought for with untiring avidity. Police court proceedings and sermons reported in a manner well calculated to astonish the prisoner, magietrate, and preacher." •  Not long sthce a young Kentuckian paid his undivided attention to one of the fair sex, and concluded to pop the question. After much stammering and hesitation, the young lady exclaimed, "I am partially engaged, but my mother want, to marry !" . . .  -, • ix pleasing though slightly perponal allupion to Coognosman Ravens, of the Vlth Missouri district, is published in the newspapers of that state :  "Havens was a Congressman, Havens waa a thief; Havens took his back pay, And Havens cam, to grid lhe people called to Havens, He wouldn't pay It back ; The people said to 1141,11 t, It Isn't cheek you lack " The Louisville Journal thinks the sight of four able. minded men playing vr,.quet is the sublimest sdeetacle that an impovert,hed country ever beheld. . -  In Richmond Church, Surrey, is an epitaph on a certain 12 ,bert Lewis, who died not long ago, and who wa., says the epitaph, such a lover ot peace that when a contention brgan to arise between Life and Death he yielded up the gh et to end the Oilpute."