Northern Weekly Gazette. — 1896-04-18 (Stockton-on-Tees, Cleveland, England)

THE BITER BIT.  Theta are people who will not work. No, they Will encounter inconvenience and even danger in preference to applying themselves seriothily and steadily to honest labour. The following sketch is' soother proof of the truth of this opinion:— An old widow lady, a client of mine, sent in west excitement to me one evening, requesting me to call immediately at her house in reference to her only son. Harry, who was in trouble. I was not at all surprised at the news, for having been acquainted with the young gentleman for some years, I was perfectly aware that he was nearly alwaym in trouble. News that he was not in trouble would indeed have astonished me. He was an idle scapegrace, who would not work, except on the feelings of his mother, and he managed to eke out a precarious living by unprincipled scheming and sponging on his friends. When I reached my client's house, I found the old lady overwhelmed with grief, for her dear, her very dear son, was in custody for having attempted to put an end to his invaluable existence, by trying to throw himself off London. bridge, and he was to be brought up before the Lord Mayor the next day, and I WIN flntruated to appear on his behalf. The dear old soul was fully persuaded as to the dire and and deadly Intention of her poor, misguided, unhappy Harry to commit suicide; but, as I happened to know the intense love that young man felt for his own skin, I was firmly of opinion that there was something behind what my soft-hearted client knew. To console her, I promised to see him in the morning before the Court met. I accordingly called at the Mansion House next morning, and the prisoner was brought to me from his cell. I had a hurried conversation with the promising youth, but he contemptuously pooh-poohed the idea that anything serious would, or could, result from his conduct, and firealy declined to give me the information I required. In due course he was brought uefore The Lord Mayor, and the member of that efficient body, the City Police, who apprehencletl him, macía the following statement :- "At four o'clock yesterday afternoon I was on duty on London Bridge, and I saw the prisoner mount the parapet, step on to the ledge outaide it. and appear to be in the act of throwing himself into the water below, when I rushed forward, caught hold of him, and, with the assistance of one of the passers-by, dragged him on to the pathway. I asked hint what he meant by such conduct, and he said he wished to put an end to a miserable life." This evidence produced what the penny-a.-liners call "a sensation In court" The prisoner, during the evidence of this policeman, assumed the most miserable Vwish-I-were-dead kind of look. The Lord Mayor, who was stout and emotional, expre4sed ' his opinion that this was a very serious case, and that be should remand the prisoner for a week to Newgate, to enable him to have the advantage of the chaplain's spiritual guidance and religious ad.i:.:. harry 's face at that moment expressed unutterable horror, he having fully anticipated an acquittal and a splendid advertisement. As the gaoler removed him from the dock, he fixed an imploring look on me, and begged me to come to him to-morrow morning, as $OOll IV 11095ib1tb. I arrived at that gloomy place as soon as convenient, knowing that I should besure to find my youne spark at home. He was soon brought to nit', looking the most abject wretch you could imagine. He wore neither collar nor necktie, and from the way he kept hitching up his trousers,he appeared to have no braces.l ought to menthol the month was November, and that the weather was cold and foggy. Fancy coid, fog, and Newgate! 'Well, Mr Suicide," I said; " you could not have looked worse had you accomplished your purpose. Why, you look the picture of misery." You'd look miserable too, if you were as cold as I am," he replied, with chattering teeth. "They've taken away my necktie, my braces, and my pocket-handkerchief; and I've got a bad i cold, too, in my head." 1 "What did they do that for?" I enquired, astonished and amused. "Why, they look on me as a very desperate character, on the look-out for a chance to put an end to my existence; and I certainly can't last long if I'm to stop here. Yes, they thought I might use the braces, or necktie, or handkerchief to hang myself with, so they took them all away." Here the poor wretch hitched up his trousers. and he evidently wanted his pocket-handkerchief very badly, but he cuffed himself, snuffled very violently. and managed to do without. " You see, Harry," I said, " the matter is a little more serious than you thought. You find that Newgate is not a place to laugh at, although I it appears to make you sneeze a great deal." 1 "-t ain't, indeed," he added. "Please don't 11 make fun of me. I can't laugh at the best joke goi!ig to-day. Tell me what to do, and I'll do I it All right. Tell me the whole truth about this little suicide game of yours, or I can do nothing , for you. Overcome your enormous inclination to I lie. for your own sake, on this particular occasion, " I said, fixing his wandering eye. , He then told the following interesting and nharacteristic little story : "Well, here goes, on the square, and no mistake, for this occasion only. My two friends, Charley Best mid Tom Ostler, were about as hard up as myself, and we agreed that raise the wind we must; and so Best proposed the following little scheme. I was to go and wait on London Bridge, while Charley and Tom were to bire a rowing boat, and bring it under one of the arches; and when it was quite close—you bet I looked after that-1 was to throw myself off the bridge. Charley was to jump in after me, and Tom was to help us both into the boat. Not so dusty a little plant, was it, eh? Well, after some delay the boat appeared. Of course I'd been studying the blue, swirling water, rushing fiercely under the arches, with a few dead dogs and cats, and it certainly looked very uninviting and awfully cold, and, you know, fancy coming down on a dead cat! It was four o'clock, and lots of people about, and an ides' struck rue that if I got on to the parapet iin-i demonstrated bii - benevolent tolome a