The Central Glamorgan Gazette, and General, Commercial, and Agricultural Advertiser. — 1869-06-04 (Bridgend, Mid Glamorgan, Wales)

ITBMS.  • A YOUNG lady In Texas, who advertises for a husband, says that she can talk philosophy as well u.rook the cradle. • A NEW YORE paper says Tom Thumb drinks. If he does, his wife has at least one consolation—he doesn't hold much. PAREPA, the eminent sliger,,is failing rapidly. At last accounts her weight had been reduced to 400. " .  A KENTUCKIAN his invented --a—p—e-rp-e-tri-aim. otlon wagon. It winds itself up by running down hills. If there sre no hills, it runs down any way. Tan following novel intimation appears at the end of a recent invitation to a wedding No cards! no cake! No wine! No kissing the bride!" . _  11 A WE,CERN paper say e, Wanted, at this office, an editor who can please everybody. Also a foreman, who can BO arrange the paper as to allow every's man's advertisement to head the column.  "We shall know what are the necessaries of life," said a country ehopkeeper during a severe storm, “aa no one will venture forth to-day, except to procure them." In the evening he found that most of his sales were yellow snuff and New England ram. SENATOR PRATT, of Indians, lost a hundred pounds of his superfluous weight in Washington by the importunities of an office•seeking constituency. TWELVE poor witnesses were in the house of Detention yesterday. They can't get bail; the thieves against whom they are witnesses can. That is the difference.— Nem York Sun.  TEM American Anti-Slavery Society has resolved to divert its agitation to " women's righte." Ala. W. Bovo, well known in the theatrical profession, died in New York on April 21. He was popular as an imitator of birds and animals, and contracted a disease of the throat from his imitations, which resulted in his death.—Era.  Br an ordinance of Baltimore minors are to be el. eluded from the billiard.roome of that city. Six young "girls of the period" have been on trial at Clinton, Ky., for disturbing public worship." THE small pox continues to commit fearful ravages in Panama, and, although the number of fatal casee re. ported daily has greatly diminished, still the disease exists to an alarming extent.  A New Yong pa-per states that a Methodist prayer. meeting in Hartford prayed that Grant might give up tobacco The following statement of the way matrimonial matters stand n Portland, Maine, has been prepared by an ingenious statistician of that city: Runaway wives, 94; runaway hasbands, 196; married persons legally divorced, 547; living in open warfare, 1,445 ; living in private misunderstanding, 1,106; mutually indifferent, 4,603 ; regarded as happy, 264 ; nearly happy, 20 ; perfectly happy, 9. A census of this kind, showing how affairs are in other cities, might be an interesting document—to bachelor.  A NEW method ofj committing suicide isj reported from the West. Somewhere In Wisconsin a man who did net enjoy perfect domestic felicity informed his wife that he was about to retire from this wicked world, and go where weary husbands are at rest. He left the house, but his partner followed: He reached the bridge and there was a splash. The wife shrieked and fainted. Recovering at length, she wended her sorrowful way home, and settled down for a good cry, when the husband appeared once *ore upon the scene. He had thrown a rock into the river, and then dodged under the bridge. The probabilities are that they "made up" their difficulties. THE Massachusetts liquor dealers have organised a protective union, and voted 100,000 dols, to defeat the efforts of the prohibitioniats. _ _ _