The Central Glamorgan Gazette, and General, Commercial, and Agricultural Advertiser. — 1875-01-01 (Bridgend, Mid Glamorgan, Wales)

SUICIDE FROM THE THAMES EMBANKMENT. EXTR \ORDINARY LETTER.  FACETIIE.  Lsght characters—PerFets with cork re4c3. At what tirae of day was -11 am creakd? A little before Eve.  Railroads annihilate space and time to say n)thing of a multitude of patuengers. A sohoolboy defines a Ilea—" 1.-lea, flew, fled when you put your band on it."  An old business sign in Philadelphia, many years ago, read, "William Shot and Jonathan Felt."  "You look as if you were lito'de y0ur.,1," to wag said to a fellow who stood 11 the ile of an asa.  We have heard of but one old Inman that " hosed her cow," hut there are thou- amii- of young' ones that kiss very great calves. t Tommy, my emu, what is " A el,thet--bne, prat." ••rr,,ve i, . cause it stretches from pole to koli ." If IL men really wants to fiad out what's in him, let him go to sea. The firet rough w, ether will generally enable him to ascertain it.  Dighy, will you tpko oma of this butter?" "Thank you, ma'am, I belong to the temperance Society ; can't take anything cirri:mg." replied Dig by. Jenkins says hip wife is a hard pets n to Owe. Pe never 94101 ed h. r but orce, and that wap when he shut the damper in the kitchen chimney..— .lawman l'apfr.  A Brockport man dreamed recently that his aunt was dod. and the ..resm pro% td hue. lie t t it'd the same game with his mother-in-law, but it d:dn't work worth a cent.  " Where a woman," says Mrs. Partington, "haa been married with a congealing he t, and one flea bvate desponding to her own, she will never want to enter the maritime state again." An inquiring man thrust his fingers into a borsee mouth to see how many teeth he had. Tbe hoe closed his mouth to see how many fingers the man had. The curiosity of each was fully satisfied.  A young man, who knows all about it, states that his enerience has taught him that a Hirt is a fool who debghts in fcolingt ols, and the fool who is fooled by such a fool is the foolishtst kind of a fool. Washington Irving once said of a poinrons American diplomatist,' Ali, he iv a great man, and in his own estimation a very gi e.t loan, a man of great weight. When he goes to the west the east tips up." At a parting at a Chicago railroad deprit:—. Do not forget me or cease to love rue," murmured the husband. " Never, never," sobbed the wife, aid she pulled out a handb.-rchiet and tied a knot in it that she might remember. A polics man in London, pining a house one night recuntly, heard a wo an scream-ng, "On, Henry, Henry! come here (;ni,k! Susan, anther, the baby !" Gallantly breaking in the doer, and rushing upstairs, tho oiLecr found that the baby had just cut a tooth. We have good schools in America, but it is clear that all do not share in their advantages. A common councilman in Fall Ricer, Nark, lately moved the following order—" Ordered that the super intender of streets is heir by authorised 2 erect ant. nointane 2 6 treet lites on John street,"—American pal Cr.  A surgeon bad just cut off a patient's leg. A 'friend of the victim's inquired anxiously whether the doctor thought he would soon geewell. "He ?" replied the doctor. "He never had a cha. ce!" IVby, then, pit him to needless pain ?" " Oh, you cannot tell a patient Ih' truth all at once; you must first of all amuse him a little." A DELIOATS Hiter.—An Irishman, who bad been doing some work for a gentleman, was given a small pertien of whisky. This he speethiy swallowed. He then loosed at the glass and said, Can yer honour tell me how thty mate thim ,g'assea so nate ? " The L.enth man gave him the Information how glass was blown. •• Arrab, sure, then," said Paddy, he must have betn mighty abort i' the wind that. blew 'hat g!na, "  The old ex•Exa . eror Ferdinand of A ustrin, having tasted some pike a /a 'bole ette,liked it so well that he fiskt 4 toe a second helping The :+wit re trhotel sent up word that none Nas left, "how much co it did you buy?" inquired the Fmperor. " Two hundredweight. your Majesty" was the reply " Well, then," =Mend the invalid poteniate, " next time please to pureha e half a round more, eo that I may have a second turn at it."  Loss