The Weekly Gazette for Middlesbrough, Stockton, Hartlepool and Cleveland District. — 1883-02-24 (Stockton-on-Tees, Cleveland, England)

POLICPMAN—Constable Allison—who gave evidence at the Mansion House Police Court on Monday, came off with honours. Looking through the window of Messrs Sari's shop, situate at the corner of the Poultry and Old Jewry, London, he saw that the gas was burning more brightly than usual; furthermore, he heard the sound of a file. The fact is that a most skilful burglary, in course of execution, was frustrated by his watchfulness, and one of the midnight thieves was arrested. Sir Robert Carden complimented the police officer for the zeal he had displayed, and the compliment, Polioe-constable Allison may rest assured, I will have suggested itself to those who t. admire the clever detection of crime.  MEMBERS of English Co-operative Societies will be interested, and may derive instruction, in having brought under their notice the case of a Co-operative Store in Philadelphia, which has a present capital of sixty_ _ _ _ _  six'thonsand six hundred and fifty dollars, ,and real estate worth twenty thousand dollars. It pays an annual dividend to its shareholders of six per cent., and returns quarterly to customers from four to nine per cent. on their purchases. The manager . says that the whole secret of success in po-operation is to start on a small scale, - and extend the business slowly. To this rule he attributes the success of the venture. It was begun eight years ago by several men who worked in a factory and thought it would be a good idea to cheapen provisions „ by buying in lots, and then dividing. They formed a little society, and kept their stock in a room of a member's residence. Next they Lired a small store, and from that the business has grown to annual sales aggregating two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.  SOME curious and interesting facts are presented by the statistics just made public of suicides in the United States during the autumn months of 1882. Among the causes " family trouble" stood pre-eminent, being credited with fifty.seven deaths. Sickness came next with forty.eight. Then followed "dissipation " with thirty-nine, "business trouble" with thirty-seven, " insanity " with twenty-nine, "love trouble" with twentyone, and "destitution" with eleven. "Grief" was responsible for five cases, "chagrin at parental discipline" for four, "religious delusion" two; while "jealousy," " homesickness," and" disappointment at election" were responsible for one each. Singularly  enough, the agricultural profession furnished the greatest number, the table showing fifty-four farmers. Of merchants there were twenty-eight; clerks, twelve; printers, five; painters, four; lawyers, four; blacksmiths, three; and porters, two. Considered with reference to their condition in life, the greatest number of suicides was  from the ranks of husbands, of whom there were one hundred and forty-four. Bachelors came next, sixty-eight in number, followed by fifty-three wives, thirty.one maids, and eight widows. The age at which suicide was oommitted in the greatest number of cases was 35, the number being seventeen. The youngest suicide was at the age of 10, and there were twelve under the age of 20. Eleven committed suicide at the , age of 50. Nine individuals found at the age of 65 they could endure no longer the ills that flesh is heir to, while one kept up  the struggle till 90, and then abandonei it.  Tal singular opinions held by an Accrington batber on the subject of joking have, nnfortunstely, had the offOet of sending the local Figaro to imprisonment for fourteen days with hard labour. It happened in this way: George Mewik—that is the barber's name-- happened to call at a beerhouse in Oswaldtwistle ou Sunday night last. He there met a wheelwright named Abraham Clegg, and saluted him as follows: —" Well, old block, how are ta getting on ?" Whereupon the wheelwright addressed the barber thusly, "How are ta getting on, old dull razor ?" Thus apostrophised, the "old dull razor" pulled a keener blade from his pocket, and inflicted on the throat of the "old block" a wound 2i inches long, and from one-eighth to a quarter of an inch deep, extending from the ear downwards. This interchange of compliments has, as we have said, ended into the retirement of the "dull razor" from Accrington for the space and term of fourteen days.  Rapine an amusing incident occurred in a Court of law in Paris a few days ago. Diddle. Margaret Uga,lde, the celebrated oantatrioe of the Nouveautes, had had a dispute with her bootmaker respecting some boots that had not, according to the artiste, been made as she ordered; so he summoned the young lady, and both were in Court awaiting the case, being called on. The bootmaker, who is, it appears, rather an eccentric-looking individual, was asked by an officer of the Court what his business there consisted of. "Boots," he answered. "What have you come here for, I want to know ?" reiterated the official. "Boots, I tell you," again replied the man. Whereupon the judge, in a serious tone, said, "Leave the Court immediately, and learn, once for all, that public time cannot be wasted in listening to jokes that are in bad taste." And the suing bootmaker, whose case evidently was not understood by anyone in Court, left the building in high. dudgeon, followed by the defendant. Mddle. Ugalde, who was laughing heartily. The recital of this curious scene by the artiste to her comrades at the theatre the same evening caused no little hilarity in the green room.  NOVELTY in the way of suicide has been intr,oducod to our notice by a waiter, now defunct, of Canterbury, who departed this life on Monday last with a determination most unusual. He filled his mouth with gunpowder, and applied a lighted match to the charge, which resulted in instantaeous death and ghastly mutilation. The report of the explosion was heard some distance, and the force of the discharge blew out the windows and shattered the door of the out. house in which the rash act was committed. It was bad enough for Sirnmonds to take his own life, without causing such a wanton destruction of property.  MR