The Stourbridge Observer, Cradley Heath, Halesowen & District Chronicle. — 1871-12-16 (Stourbridge, West Midlands, England)

CUTTINGS PROM AMERICAN PAPERS.  A billiard palace is the last bit of Iloi3ton grandeur.  New York belles are now said to select their dresses to match the colours of their poodles.  A Wiscomin Justice of the Peace recently granted himself a divorce.  A Wisconsin man reported that he couldn't find a word In the dictionary, because 'the book hadn't an index."  A great man is always willing to be little.—Emerson. But one never knows how little he is willing to be until one has had business with Inm.  This is a heading of a paragragh in a Western paper, recording a suicide : " Ile blew his head off. Bilious, poor, and disheartened the gun-muzzle in his mouth, his toe on the trigger, and up goes his hair."  . A insults B. B challenges him. A refuses to rnee Bon the ground that he is no gentleman. B insists that he is, and, in proof, produces the receipt for his newspaper, paid sin months in advance.  Fishing at Ausaugnntansongamongotongo Lake, in Oxford Comity, Maine is reported as first-rate. We recommend those who desire to go there before starting to write the name of the place oils cant  The Tennessee girl who broke her arm on the eve of her wedding, and bravely went through the ceremony with her arm in a sling, was surpassed by the yet bolder bridegroom, who, according to the custom of the country, had several slings (gin and rum slings) inside of him. The following is the way they call out a figure of a "reel" In Georgia Dance to the gal with the yellow shawl on, now dott-n outside and up the middle, turn to your partner, Isaac Smach, and now to that entire stranger; sachet to the right and left; ra de tan; de dude ; now to Peter Schwitelsal's slaughter ; turn to your partner every one set to the gal with the hole in the heel of her stocking r' "M 7 dear, will you play your thousand-dollar polka? said an American fanner to his charming daughter, nix months after her return from a fashionable boarding. school. The young lady's musical performaaces had dwindled, piece by piece, to & solitary polka, and the fond parent's sole compensation for his many years' outlay was this precious " thousand-dollar " polka and his own sorry joke.  - A Chicago paper says :—" There have been 417 babies published hi this city &ince the lire-311 of them female. lbw to the sew She-cargo."  A man from one of the rural districto recently went to see the sights. A member of the House, whose constituent he was, said, time up to-morrow, and I will give you a arat on the floor of the House " 'No, you don't !" replied Jonathan "I always manage to have a cheer to set mutat home, and I bet I hain't coins to Wash'n'ton to sot on the Poor Infuns may do that when they come, if they like, but I, that am civilised, don't do it  It is reported at Salt Lake that a number of leading Mormons will send away their .• plural wives' should the decisions in the forthcoming trials for immorality be against the defendants. It is not believed that the Mormons will abandon polygamy as a doctrine, hut many of them are l•eginning to exprexs doubts of its expediency as a practice In violation of the law. The following advertisement is effective :