Lancaster Standard and County Advertiser. — 1905-10-13 (Lancaster, Lancashire, England)

BOT'POMLE':'S SPEECH.  Mr. J. H. Bottomley, who had a hearty reception, explained his position as chief speaker. The committee had not been eta:cessful in securing a suitable man for a concert meeting, and no they fell back on him. They said, in effect, a worse speaker would have done for the occasion, but they could not get one. (Laughter.) Lord Beaconsfield died 24 years ago, but the Prinircee League cstablished in his memory still flourished, and was one of the Conservative party's best assets. Some people objected to women mixing with polities until they got votes. He supposed on the same principle they would not let their children go into the water until they had learned to swill]. (Laughter.) Ho ' claimed that the presence of ladies at such meetings tended to bring a better spire into polities, to prevent the old bitterness they used to have. (Hear, hear.) He was sorry to say though that political ideals were not yet satiefactory. People who were friends on the bowling green, the cricket and fcotball fields, did not "play the game," when they got into politics. Each man laid the flattering unction to his waistcoat that he was not as other men mere. (Hear, hear.) Since Lord Beaconsfield's death political warfare had greatly changed. Then paliticiana used to talk high polities at bye-electi,us, and appealed to the reason of the voters. Now they went about with pots of spotted dog, parcels of horseflesh, cakes of black bread, big hollow loaves, sad bundles of threadbare yares. (Loud laughter.) In the olden days they had two sides, Liberal and Tory. Now they had Conservatives, Unionists, Free Importers, Free Fooders—(laughtee)— Iletaliationiste, 'Thrill Reformers, Protectionists, Liberals, Radicals, Pro-Boers, Empire Wreckers, Little Englanders, Local Vetoists, Home Rulers, Passive Resisters— (renewed (aughter)—l.L.P.-ern (Independent Labour Party), S.D.F.-ens (Social Democratic Federation), L.R.C.-ers (Labour Representation Committee), and he supposed before long there would be X.Y.Z.-ers. (Great laughter.) History repeated itself. Big fleas had little fleas, on their balks to bite 'em. And little fleas had other flea:, and so on ad inrinitum. One section of politicians were already busy distributing the various Mhos of state, before they even get into power. They apparently could not kill the Goveriunent and the Government would not commit suicide. (Laughter.) They said the longer the eleetion is put off, the greater the Government defeat, yet these 111011 demanded an inuuediate dissolution. (Laughter.) These same mon said this Tariff discussion of Mr. Chamberlain's, was unhinging commerce and destroying trade, and yet they admitted the Board of Trade returns proved trade never was in such a prosperous condition. (Hear, hear.) They had gut muddled in their economic nations, for they said the tax on coal was, paid by tho producer, but the tax on sugar was paid by the consumer. (Laughter.) They said Free Trade did not suit America, because it was a-new country, and would not suit Germany because it was an old country. They admitted it to be a fact that our Fiscal relations were not satisfactory, but argued this was not the time to move. That was, they did not believe in putting up an umbrella until they got wet, they would not wed for the doctor until the patient died, because they could easily get to know the reason at the post moitem examindanitoaiinkrei.z(iLneditft:dngplalf,:gdihl;t.debru,?tgaThii:t-.eatphreaet:telhh,:eve.tidtlem. being operative in South Africa. They welcomed aliens in England where they were not wanted, but objected to them going into the Transvaal, where they were welcomed by the inhabitants. Mr. Bottomley went on with other illustrations, and added that in olden days the Tory Party and the Church were inseparable. Now Mr. Balfour, a Prcsbyterian, and Mr. Chamberlain, a Unitarian, were the leaders of the Unionist party. Then both sides united to further education; now one side was openly in favour of a policy which meant lees religion and more rates. (Cheers ) Then everybody believed in obeying the laws of the country; now we had excitable men calling themselves Plosive Resisters, who refuted to pay rates, went to prison in cabs, wearing top hats and frock coats, accompanied by brass bands and a portmanteau full of good food—(laughter)— after they had doctored up bills of sale untruthfully saying all their prcperty belonged to their wives. (Applause.) An election was coming shortly, and the political smile section and handshaking departments were being polished up, and if the Primrose League could get working men to take a rest from their arduous duties of spotting winners and catching kisers—(laughter)—ancl persuade them to take a deeper interest in politics they would do good work. The Primrose League supported the Government, and they said there were only two sides to every question, the wrong side, and their side. (Hear, hear.) Their creed was that all patriots should be Conservatives, that all Conservatives should be patriots, and that all men and women should be both Conservafives and patriots. (Applause.)