Nelson Chronicle, Colne Observer, and Clitheroe Division News. — 1900-07-27 (Nelson, Lancashire, England)

THE VISIT OF THE SHAH.  Further arrangements for the Shah's visit he London are being completed. The visit to the Queen at Osborne will take place on the 9th and 10th, and on the latter day the Shah will see the Navy at Spithead, returning to London the same evening. On Saturday, 11th, he will visit Lord Salisbury at Hatfield, sad join • garden-party in his honour. On Monday ot Tuesday the Shah, with a small party, will visit Manchester to hoe our manufactories, as he is desirous of setting up the newest machinery is hi, own country for the manufacture of textile fabrics.  Although the original visit was fixed to extend seven or eight days only, it is now believed that it may extended to ten days. Lord Braye's house, No. 4, Buckingham Gate, lately No. 7, which has been taken by the Persian Minister as • Legation during the visit of the Shah cue account of it being close to Buckingham Palace, has now becomo quite Persianised, and beautiful Persian carpets and rugs, as well as Oriental furniture, have been added to the house. The Shah will dine one evening with the Persian Minister at this house, and there will be • select reception afterwards.  At the Croydon Town Council on Monday evening items agreed to present the freedom of the borough to Lord Roberta.  "Well, Elate," Sala fare. Moral Suasion to her three-year-old daughter, "did you tell God you were sorry for being naughty ? " "Las, I did, and He said: 'Great Scott ! Elsie, zat's all right; there's lots of 'em wurser zau you are.' " Tailor: Lock here, sir, when is that rich uncle of yours going to die and leave you enough to live upon? Chawley : Gli, he's on his last legs. Tailor: So he has been for six years. It strikes tue that uncle of yours must be a sort of centipede.  Mrs. Winks (at dinner in great hotel) : Who are those men at that table in the corner ? Mr. Winks: Don't know. What are they talking about? Mrs. Winks: Football, horse-races, prizo-tighte, and so on. Mr. Winks: Oh, they are probably college students.  Artist (triumphantly) : What do you think of my picture of a peasant girl, Miss Featherbrain Miss F. (gushingly): it's splendid! What a lovely hat she haa on la she going to a theatre? Artist (despondently) : That's not a hat; she's carrying home • bundle of hay. A Georgia tanner has a son who writes cores, hat is too modest to submit it fur publication. One day, when the fanner was going to town, he took a bundle of poems along with him and handed them to an editor. " They're pretty fair," said the editor. "His rhyme is all right, but there's something wrong with his feet." " Well," said the farmer, "I won't deny it; he has got corns." A volunteer artillery regiment applied to the War Office for wooden guus to practice with. "'these," they explained, " will be cheaper than real ones." " it shall not be said that efficiency was sacrificed to economy," was the reply, "you shall have real guns." The warriors were profuse in their thanks. " We will take care of them," they promised, "and in the event of war return them to the arsenal."  Great picture-buyer, to hostess : What do you thiuk of au artist who painted cobwebs on the ceiling 80 truthfully that the servant wore herself iuto an attack of nervous prostration trying to sweep them dowui Hostess, a woman of experience There might have been such an artist. but there never was such a servant.  A fox vras caught by a policeman wiring me 'light in Coventry Street, Kidderminster. Reynard had called for a fowl.  A 111111 named Kellett, who was a fortnight ago discharged from the Royal Small Arms Factcry, Enfield Lock, has committed suicide by carbolic acid onisonium.