Blandford, Wimborne and Poole Telegram. — 1876-09-29 (Blandford, Dorset, England)

THE TELEGRAM,  FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 1•76.  NOTES OF THE WEEK. It is an old and trite saying, which perhaps some of us may have realised that "one often sleeps with strange bedfellows ;" and it would also seem that some fellows sleep in strange—very strange,—beds. A young man who boasted the not uncommon patronymic of Smith, and who described himself as an accountant—but in this instance was evidently out of his reckoning—was charged a few days ago with having attempted to commit suicide somewhere on farfarned Clapham Common. He was found by a constable "gurgling" on his back, in a bed of blue mud. He was hauled out, and the next day hauled up, and thel only explanation he could give was, that whilst he declined to admit he was at all mud-died, something, he could not tell what, "possessed" him—perhaps Rev. Mr. Cook will explain—to lie down in the mud, and actually make a blanket out of it to cover himself with. After a remand he was sent to his accounts.  "Music soothes the savage breast"—and the bosom of the more lovely sex (taking it as granted, the adjective savage is used in purely a masculine sense) would seem to be not unamenahle to its charms. Newry in Ireland can furnish an example. Twelve months ago there was introduced into that neighbourhood of Arcadianinnocence a teacher of music in the shape of—as tho paper of the district viciously describes him, a long, red haired son of Adam. It is affecting to learn that this gentleman had a happy home, presided over by the lady whom he had sworn for over to cherish, and that in addition to other accomplishments he was " papa " to five little ones. Now it seems the leading lady of the choir of which this pedagogue was precentor was also a teacher in a national school. She was good-looking, and as she had a well-trained voice to boot, she became, as first treble, one of the sweet singers of the local Israel. Of course it was necessary for the choir to meet for practice twice a week, and sometimes oftener. On one of these occasions particular attention was paid by the precentor to the leader of the trebles, and in church they sat side by side sharing one Psalm-book between them, in the red-curtained compartment erected by the handy sexton for the choir. To make a long story short, it soon became evident that the "first treble" had made an impression on the choir master; he was unable to disguise his feelings; the people began to whisper, and then totalk. At length the place became too hot for the enamoured pair, and it was necessary to select "other fields and pastures new." Arrangements for the elopement were quickly made, and on a fine Sunday evening they departed. Report says that the fugitives were seen oh board a ship, and that their destination was the Antipodes. Such is the faithlessness of man and for all that of woman also.  The following extraordinary advertisement appeared in a recent Indian journal :—"Required by a rising young planter, who made money during the famine, a wife, young, amiable, and pretty ; fortune not so much an object as youth and beauty. No answer will be entertained except those accompanied by cartes. Strictest secrecy. Apply to W. A. J., Post Office, Mozufferpore." A rising young planter, who could succeed in making money out of a famine, should be able to obtain a wife in the Island of Bachelors itself. Such an agreeable recommendation ought to ensure success; unless, indeed, his previous line of action suggested grave doubts as to the exact nature of his domestic economy. How about dinner?  In the course of a letter in reply to an invitation to attend a public meeting held at Exeter on Wednesday night, Lord Coleridge says "I absolutely differ from those who think it unjust to blame the Government for the present attitude of England towards the authors of those atrocities. The Government for all practical purposes represents England to Foreign States. Those who are satisfied with the attitude of England are quite right not to blame the Government. But I am profoundly dissatisfied—nay, more, I am ashamed of it; and the two recent speeches of Lord Derby give me no reason to believe that the Government is either the one or the other ; nor any ground for thinking that they are at all inclined to change the attitude of the country."  THE AMALGAMATION OF THE BoROUGH