The Warwickshire Herald. — 1886-10-21 (Birmingham, West Midlands, England)

BULGARIA.  [We understand that, acting on our suggestion in last week's issue, Mr. Gladstone has placed himself en rapport with the great l'owers, and that at any moment we may find that he has been selected as the ruler of Bulgaria. In such a case it will be most interesting for Eng'islimen of all classes to speculate on the future rtf that country. We will endeavour to lift the curtain and give the reader some notion of Bulgaria under the benign rule of the G.O.M.] . _ _ .  Act I.—tiofia. The throne-room of the palace. Prince William Evrart 1. discovered on his throne. Ministers of state, Councillors, Membets of the Sobranje and . others, including Herby.  rriiie.e William E'veart I.—ls the Russian Ambassador here?  Count Koppemoff. —At your Royal Highness's commands.  Prince W. E. I.—My Prime Minister, Plantagenet Harcourtoff, has communicated to me the gracious wishes of his Imperial Majesty the Czar. They shall be respected in every particular. Express my regrets that his August Majesty should have suffered so much from corns during the late severe weather, but I rather think Madame de Novikoff has a specific which—by the way, my louts and gentlemen, where is Madame de Novikoff  All.—She cannot be disturbed ; she is writing an article for the Pall Mall Gazette. Prince W. E I.—Ah I She must not do it until my essay on Bulgaria being a Celtic ra .e is first published in that journal. It has been delayed too long already. . . .  The Austrian Ambassador.—Are you sure, your Royal Highness. that there is not some mistake as to the Bulgarians being Celts? Prince W. E. I.—You may remember, sir, thst I wrote on Bulgaria ten years alo. I had even then discovered it, and my sympathies went out to them. The broad and generous principles of the Celtic race attracted my heart to them. A federation of the Celtic peoples is what I most desire to see. The Greeks are Celtic, the Macedonians are Celtic, the Albanians are Celtic, the Scotch are Celtic, the Welsh and Irish are the parent stems They must be united. This has been the dream of my life. The Archimandrite Drew. But they are different religious creejs.  Biince W. E. I.—That must also be altered. [Leans over to Hareourtoff ; aside.] By the way, Vernon,  that I have devoted my spare time—(lather—dab in mouth) —to the elucidation of this question— (lather—no-e) —and if you give me time, I'll effectually shut you up." (Lather—eyes.) Woral : Never argue with a barber while he's shaving you.  (From Ally Sloper.) Supposing, end more extraordinary things have happened, all the instruments of a theatre orchestra were to run a race, which would probably come in last I—Why, the big drum, because, you see, anyone can beat the drum.  A too-happy "gentleman" was charged before a bigwig with being over—timulated and riotous ; the magistrate fined him five shillings. On the same day a too-happy girl was charged before the same impartial administrator of justice with being half. seas over in a pond. As the damsel's bibulous melancholy was so great that it induced her to attempt suicide, the beak committed the lass forone month, with hard labour. _ _  "I've seen you before," growled a newly-married justice of the peace to a prisoner, recently. "In course you have," chuckled the prisoner, " and I'm proud to meet you agin. If you can't get no other sponsiers, blow me if I won't stand godfather for yer fust, theer now."