The Central Glamorgan Gazette, and General, Commercial, and Agricultural Advertiser. — 1872-03-15 (Bridgend, Mid Glamorgan, Wales)

AMERICAN ITEMS.  A Nor rn CA aounci journal announces the conviction Itero of a "lady horso thief." A emir 111.174 AVIV) had his noin bit off in a fight in „ . _  . had it ear.?;.illy ilrteked and sent brick ,ino, to KilOW 111.3 friends ono of tlie American onitoins.  AN Alabama paper speaks of a etloured orator ea having " didocated his .houlder in the peroration." HO was evidently guilty of di.jointed utterance. "  ex.;llAnge'a.a.ys:° "ainlinnati has p.n apparatus ior consuming her own s7a)ke. U sh•,, would take another trjle awl oonsulue her o whi,ky we could plifo-, to her with pride." But if she did what would become of some editors in other cities?  BEECHER says the most gratifying circumstance in his life wan being kissed by Kossuth. A content. porary asks—" Isn't this a little hard on poor Mrs. Beecher "  BOARDER "This to seems very weak, Mrs. Skelly." Landlady "Well, I guess it must be the warm weather. I feel weak myself; in fact, everybody complains." A MICHIGAN lawyer feelingly alludes to the "abysmal depths of irretrievable infamy" inhabited by his client. A CONNECTICUT V7Ollllll has discovered a new use for kerosene oil—a tionblerful of it swallowed prod-tees suicide.  A sItUEWD Old lady compares her husband to ab tallow candle—he always sputters and smokes when WA put out. A LETTER addressed " Ulices S. Grant, President Unightcd States, care of Congress," was mailed at South Parminglunn a few ,lays ago. A UENTLEMAN of mnah experience says that he is never satisfied that a woman understands a kiss unless he has it from her own month.  A DASHING young lady says " she'd NI som have a good kiss as a now cashmere ; " and an exchange says, " we'd as soon--or Sooner—give it to her. A YOUNG lady was recently sent by express from California to Maryland. The messenger who had her in charge was so pleased with his freight, that he offered to carry it back and forth all the time at his own expense.  A PAUMER recently advertised for a runaway wife, and called particular aYmntion to the meanness of her desertion just as the 'hiring work was Coming on after ho had the expense of wintering her. A sTORT is told about a Yankee who lately' settled down in the West. He went to a neighbour, and thus accosted him :—" Wad, I reckon you han't got no old hen, or nothing you'd lend me for a few wooks, have you, neighbour P " "I will lend you Ono with pleasure," replied the neighbour, picking out the very finost in the coop. The Yankee took the hen home, sod then went to another neighbour, and bozrowed a dozen eggs. lie next set the hen, and in to worse of time she hatched a dozen chieken:s. The Yankee was again puzzled; he could rAtirn tlie hen, Lot how was he to return the eggs? : he -.vonla keep tho hon until she had lai!I a 1i'47.211 eggs. This ho did, and then returnlid the hen imid eggs to their respeative owners, remarking, lie did so, " %Val, I reckon I've got as fiet •. of e;ii,lliens is yea ever laid your eye,ic, anl they didn't east me a cent nuther." A. i.e says : "Duo of the prettiest sights the hunmi eye ever rested upon is gold in its liquid state." The human eye in this vicinity would be s-AL9lied if it could see any of the metal in a solid stat, •  "Loy c hero, squire, where was seen born ? " said a pm-6istont Yankee 03 a five minutes' acquaintanoe. " I we:4 horn," said the victim," infloston, Treinont. street, No. 44, left-haul side, on the tlri4 day of Angw.t, 1910, at five o'clock in the afternoon ; physician, Dr. 'Warren ; nurse, Sally Benjamin." Yank.lo was answered coanjletely. For a moment ho was f4rtick. Soon, i1,./WeVe7; his face brightened, and he quickly said : " Yeas; wa'al, I calculate you don't reoolleA whether it was a frame or a brick hou:74, dew ye ? "  A NEVTSPAPEIt WAItNED.— The Dublin doutain.l a notice by the Lord-Lieutenant Yr:truing the LeinAce Li:l.cpc.idcat on account of an article which appeared in that journal on the 16th of }Vorttary, On the tusassination of Lord Mayo, the notice characterises as inciting to The warning Li given under the Peace Pre. eery:it:on Act.  THE DIAMOND Fl