Nelson Chronicle, Colne Observer, and Clitheroe Division News. — 1891-04-24 (Nelson, Lancashire, England)

THE BEST OF THE WEEK.  .-..- A %Au on one of the front benches of the 110u5..! of Commons has hit off to a nicety in a neat boe-ma the present position of atiair: at. St. Stephen's. The rate of mortality in the House of Commons, he says, is high, while the rate of morality is low.,  " UNTIf. this week I had always stoutly trattilsoutd " {the London cotrEspondeut of the '1 toy... Birmingham Gazette clsolsrert) "that oar greatest stlitesinan vat as well k. own by his name of Lord Bescomfield at Disraeli. Disilloston v.as effected in this wise. I was oolli k' at a shop window in Regent-street. Everything its the window was of primrose hue surronmling a p.rtrait. An extremely nice old lady in the little crowd asked whor:e was the ortrait. Ltrd teaconsfield ' was the reply from half-a-dozen voices. 'Oh,' remarked the old lady, I aiwa3B thought we kept Primrose Day for Pisraeli.'"  A LARGE number of persons visited Hughenden, where Earl Beaconsfield was buried, on Saturday and Sunday. The tomb has been renovated, and the inscription re-gilded. Two wreaths from the Queen—one of immortelles, the other of primroses—were placed on the tomb, and a wreath from the Grand Council of the Primrose League bore the insctiption, Peace with honour."  How are the mighty fallen! Bismarck, the "Iron Chancellor," the keeper of the Emperor's conscience, beconaes a mere Parliamentary candidate and contends for a seat with a Socialist. It will be worse still if he is not elected, and his chances are not of the best.  THERE has been kome trouble about the census amongst the miners of the Forest of Dean. When the collector called for the retain he was told by many of them that it had been burned unread. Asked why, they replied, that thy had supposed it to be a circhlar from Mr. W. T. Stead.  AN Indian civil servant was some time ago summoned home by telegraph, owing to the serious illness of a near relative. The same cause protracted his stay until it became necessary to apply for an extension of leave. He was in reply informed that this would be granted, but only on the condition that he returned to India for one nr:qht. Such are the possibilities of red tape.  THIS seems to be a year of " finds." After Aristotle, Rousseau, and Carlyle, comes Goethe. An unknown essay of Goetho's, on the comparative anatomy of the skulls of mammals, has ,been discovered by Professor Bardeleben, of Jever. The essay is supposed to have been written in 1794.  THE most positive contradictions are given from St. Petersbm g in the best informed quarters to the three recent alarming reports, firstly of the frustrated attempt upon the life of of the Czar, secondly of the serious illness of the Empress, and thirdly of the suicide of the Grand Duchess Olga.  ACCOREING to the Gatdois, Baron Hirsch has tought an immet se estate in Pennsylxauis, where he prop( see to establish a co ony of Russian Jcwe.  A FEW days ago a deputation of strong, brawny nail and chain women waited on the Home Secretary from the Midlands. It was a most racy interview, by all accounts. This (says one who was there) was the kind of thing: —Mr. Matthews (to one of the Amazons) : "And what is the precise nature of the employment in which you are enga"—Amazon (breaking in impetuously) : "I doan't want to Lave my work taken awaay from me ! " Mr. Matthews (blandly) : "Pardon me—that is not quite the point of whiqii I desire information. If you will please explain to me the nature of operation in which "—Amason (firm though flustered, and determined te get out what she Lad come all the way to London to say): "It never done me no harm, sir, that's all.—"&c., &c.  LORD Randolph Churchill has, necessarily, been circumscribed in respect of the cubic measurement of the library he may take with him in his expedition to Mashonaland. After much consideration be has fixed upon two books. One is Shakspeare, the other Moliere.  THE Birmingham Radicals are about to have a long-felt want supplied. About the middle of October they will cease to be without a friendly voice in the press, as arrangements have been made to start an evening journal, which will be called the Daily Argus. The aim of the promoters is to make the Argus a Democratic organ which will appeal specially to the Nonconformist and Labour interests, and will give an independent support to the Home Rule section of the Liberal party.