The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser. — 1849-08-28 (Liverpool, Merseyside, England)

MIDSHIP FROLIC.—Two of the officers in the m'dshipmen's berth had, like myself, been enjoying the novelty of our night's ascent of the river, and instead of retiring, like my lazy self, to a hammock, had arranged to have a sumptuous supper at one a.m., off a cold tongue and a bottle of brandy. The unfortunate berth-boy (for all midshipmen's boys are unfortunate) turned out of his bed sleepy and careless, borrowed the sentry's lantern, spread the supper, nodded his head, and slept as he leant against the cupboard. My worthy shipmates ate a little, and drank more; descanted in glowing terms on the pleasure of the trip ; and whilst deep in their argument, which I was inwardly cursing, the purser's cat stole into the berth, and favoured by the glimmering light of his master's lantern, jumped on the table and abstracted the remaining portion of the tongue. Suddenly the argument ceased, and one proposed to go on deck and fetch " old somebody" down to ]lave some supper ; which having been done, a scene somewhat as follows occurred : " Why, what infernal nonsense! why have you hid the tongue ? Come, out with it."—" Oh ! that won't do, my friend ! I thought I heard you humbugging the dish about. I'm shot if you shall not pay for the supper." —" I take the tongue ? the devil a bit ! I've not touched it."—" Well, then, somebody must. I'm shot if we do not find the thief out !"—The door of the lantern was then opened, and its solitary pencil of rays, as Dr. would call it, sent shimmering about the steerage and berth--when, lo and behold, the unlucky boy was found leaning against the cupboard ! "Ah ! you d—d young thief, so you steal tongue, eh ?" cried one. No answer beyond a snore. "Oh ! he is asleep," replied the other, "it could not be him." " Well, then," said the first speaker, " he ought to have seen that no one else robbed us"—a piece of reasoning that allowed of no argument, and accordingly it was decided that summary punishment was to be inflicted on the unconscious culprit. Whereon, with that fertility of conception for which young naval officers are so remarkable, the hair was quietly removed froth the crown of the boy's head, and his face carefully blackened, which being done, the light Was'throwninto his eyes, and, with mock gravity, one said, " Well! you ungrateful scoundrel, so after living all day on the fat of the land you must steal tongue at night, eh ? But Providence has punished you, sir : all the hair has fallen off the top of your head, and you will be a negro for the rest of your days !" "Oh Lord, sir !" blubbered the boy, putting one hand to the crown of his head, and squinting at his nose, which shone of lamp-black. "Oh ! I never stole never no tongue, sir! somebody else tuked it. Perhaps it was that cat, sir! I gets all her thrashings !" A hunt at once commenced for the pilfering Tommy, who was soon found, still purring over the remnants—caught, and condemned to be converted into a lion. This novel process was executed by shearing and shaving the hair from the underneath part of the neck, and from the shoulders within three inches of the tip of the tail. Puss was tied securely down, and, amid much mewing, biting, and roars of laughter from a numerous audience. (who, not being able to sleep, joined in the midnight prank,) and the sentry's " Not so much noise, if you please, gentlemen," the operation was successfully performed, and puss liberated to fly about quite frantic with fear, whilst I almost cried with laughter at his appearance, so totally was it changed —even the lady cat did not know her better half, and, in her astonishment at the transmogrification, curled up her tail, spat, and grinned in a very unmatrimonial manner. The robber finding himself the subject of general contempt, flew up the ladder and bolted into the coalbunkers to conceal his shame. Old Gregory, the quarter_master, assured me, with a very demure face, that no doubt Tommy would commit suicide, " for he is a wery high-minded cat, sir, and never disgraced himself before !" —Walpole's Four Fears in the Pacific.  A