Alston Herald, and East Cumberland Advertiser. — 1879-03-15 (Alston, Cumbria, England)

ARIAS. Pat, wouldn't ye be afther bringing holm fll. :daui,,,hter Gl' a shipwright. On Thursday the shovel I lent ve last Christmas i." He'll a bit r ' er,,,,,,,, tho deceased went into the bar parlour I harn't done with it this three months.' 'B' of and whatli I do for a shovel meself ' a pubic-house and called for a glass of port jabers : -"lt' wice ant a glass of water in separate tumblers. perfectly aisy for ye to borrow one. as I did : so be ' f•iff writ' yerself, and not be afther bothering me '7-lie vice(.;:rserved placing a white powder in the ig'in wid yer nonsense.' j water, and Martha Thompson, who served her, DURING a dense fog a Mississipi steamer took remarked, -,1, hope you are not going to poison landing. A traveller, anxiou.s to go ahead, Lame tc yourself.- Sue laughed and replied, -No nor the unperturbed manager of the wheet and asked any o,hei person ' She drank the mixture, why he stopped. • Too much fog •• in-t see the wianm :dis diloropsoo supposed to be a seidlitz river." But you can see the at o- . :ad.' - Yee,' p or Ihe b0t1.,, Wlts labelled •• Carbolic Acid." replied the urbane pilot: 'but until lb. oli boilers It I.:,peared that after leaving the public-house burst we ain't goin' that way.' The i a ',...i.ader went , the deceased went to a friend a house, where she to bed. , b.c..arne insmsible, and died the same evening.— Two friends, just married, were discussing rap- , fhe mother stated that the deceased had recently turously, as they congratulated each other, on the I-een in s•rvicc: at Northwich, and in February she merits and charms c,f their spouses. Said one, `My . received a letter flora her stating that she was not _ wife has the loveliest head of hair I ever saw, even . ,-.,,,,,ii ~...,11,. but she gave no intimation about on the hair renovator labels. When she lets her , /- .--;-',",.',,,,,-hair down the ends fall to the floor.'—' That's no. j 'eav“'" trio Place in a letter addressed to thing,' replied the other ; 'when my wife lets her ' a iriend which was found upon the deceased she hair down it all falls to the Annr I • wrote :--- 1 dare say you will be surprised when : y th• • tolioward. : i nny-a you read thns. and you dud that I am no more •••.1 p - j ro numbered with the living, but with the dead. fm a I,IUOT t 1 N ~ ,:(..111it •11 .1 thin; j Perhaps you will think I have been very rash in " taking away my own lite, but let me tell you I have long made up my mind to do so, as I prefer rather to die than live, as iife to me is not worth living for, and 1 have come to this conclusion that 1 would rather meet my God, who is just and good and kind, who forgave Peace—and I really think he did forgive that man ; I do not believe anybody could tell a lie knowing as we know, that he would meet the righteous Judge , soon—will iu his goodness and mercy forgive ! me." The jury returned a verdict to the effect that the deceased committed suicide under temporary mental derangement.  EXTRAORI)INARY DEFENCE uF  Ftdv, linrr •  r Tht  ari in, in Liidc  ,4,8 f  Cht?Fl.'l4 iS or, sale by Jiir .1. tu, 10 ~ Nassau StrePt Marlzed ls of evi-ry dc.F.cr'ption, and directions t taking a „t.na•z• in the feil.iwing games :—Bilin Po ;er, Brag, S yen Up, F..ro, Vingt•un, , )ne wno is pra, Ili iiiged. 'l'hou wh w: Lo re 2v le,sons in al yard iges, that requirc d' Levity, iiiaA inquire as abov,..'  A MAN once went to an a pie-stand kept by :a Lncier,t ia.4ht a cake for one :oiu : tin n and took a at i ‘.livi:•. ;0.0 vaP I it Om, i'opper coin;this lcwn and look up an appki, wnivh h sl,,wiy at .7. • acaty.• for dat apple, 1 7,iid you,' ~rtid he: didn't I give yeii :Andy rut yo ,u nebber u lid for the univ s: didn't 1 give you back the coke ou didn't pay for de caliv:—• Well, there's yi take.'—'Well, go from hi o, white man, at way : I Lan't :irlzu,,wii! you, bat 'pears like I hat -ot no money f:,/, lot an,a,  BRITISii