Stockton Herald, South Durham and Cleveland Advertiser. — 1890-06-14 (Stockton-on-Tees, Cleveland, England)

SERVANTS LN STORY.  A boy in the service of Captain Locker was one day employed in passing round a tray of liqueurs in different-sized glasses. The captain mechanically put out his hand towards the tray, but, being engaged in talk, did not at once take anything. The boy, however, thought that he was hesitating as to which glass he should choose, and so, anxious to aasiat him, pointed to one in particular, and whispered, " That's the biggest, sir." A similarly kind feeling, not unallied, perhaps, to a certain alynetta, was exhibited by a servant of Sir George Warrender, who, while dining off a haunch of venison, suggested to his butler that the meat would make a capital hash to.merrow—" Yea, Sir George, if you stop now.." . .  „. An old Scotch cook was found one night sipping tea after twelve o'clock. Halton, cook,” said one of the younger members of the family, "how late you are at your tea." " Na, nu," sir," was her answer, "I am no at my tea-1 am at my breakfast, as I thocht it best to take mine afore ganging to bed, as you and the ither young gentleman has ordered yours to be ready at five, that ye may get off in gnid time to the maim." One is reminded here of the small boy who said his prayers twine over at night in order to save time in the morning. Colonel Higgins's servant was perfectly accurate and sincere when he informed the Duke of Gloucester that his master was dyeing. The Colonel was dyeing his hair for the day. It was no fault of the servant's that the Duke took " dyeing " for "dying," • and sent pest haste for medical assistance. Campbell, the poet, had used after dinner a toothpick that had been placed before him. Later came the maid, asking for the toothpick, and receiving from the 'poet the response that he supposed he might pick away at it as much as he pleased." •` Oh dear na, sir ;it Mange to the Club, and they has been met amain an hour." It is recorded of a black domestic employed by "Monk' Lewis that he once heard his master say of a young lady who had sprained her ankle— " The doctor has seen her,"put her leg straight, and the poor chicken is doing well." This statement, as repeated afterwards by. the darkey, with much affectation of mystery and knowledge, ran as follows :—" The doctor has been here: she has laid eggs, and she and the chickens are doing I well !"  A story equally good in its unforced quaintness is of yet another "black" called Dominique. One morning, his master called for him hadily, but no Dominique appeared. "Why don't you bring my stockings, Dominique?" "Can't come. muses." "Why can't you come, Dominique ?" "Can't come, massa ; I'm dronke !" Side by side with this treasure may be placed the Irish servant, who, asked if his master were at home, said, " No, not esactly ; he's out there in the backyard a-shooting rate with tannon for his diversion."  The elder Mathews, the actor, had a man upon whose simplicity he delighted, occasionally, to play Wake. Once when he had Charles Ketub:e aind some other distinguished friends to ditto with him, he, taking the man by surprise, induced him to rush into the dining-room and say to Ramble, For heaven's sake, sir, come out to the stable—your poor horse has cut his throat."  A German waiter, whose Imcwiledge of English was not so great as his excitability, once made this remarkable tumoancement to his employer, _  Eel you blease, shnr, here sea a ahentleman on a door at a hoarse mit a groom vich could speak mit you on a door."  The body of Mr Thomas Palmer, a well-knows Nottingham jeweller, haa been found in the Trent at Gainston, a few miles from the town. Deceased, who has bad considerable business troubles of late, is believed to have committed suicide. He had taken a prominent part in local affairs, being an active politician, and formerly a member of the Nottingham Town Council and Board of Guardians Deceased bad been missing since Friday week. RgOt.ICTION IN Dui. Horniman's Pure Teas are DOW sold POURPENCE PER POUND CHEAPER; this will enable every town, village, and hamlet throughout the kingdom to obtain a simply of PURE TEA at the I,