Brighouse & Rastrick Gazette. — 1892-07-02 (Brighouse, West Yorkshire, England)

HUMOURS OF WEDDINGS.  A working parson, whose experiences have been gathered in large town parishes, tells in the cornhill acme amusing stories chiefly relating to the wedding ceremony. Once it was his lot to be embarrassed by the appeals of two young women who wanted to marry the same bridegroom The first comer of these had scarcely told how her faithless lover bad actually put up the banns in an Eastend parish, when the delinquent turned up with an idiotic grin on his face and a gaily-apparelled young woman on his arm. What could the parson—then a young and bashful curate—do but invite the trio into the vestry-room, there to discuss the business. Luckily for him, it speedily leaked out that there had been no legal residence in his parish, which afforded him at once a sufficient ground for declining to perform the ceremony. On another occasion the awful discovery was made that the bride had by accident been described in the marriage licence by her pet name. It wa:t suggested that an affidavit of identity sworn at a neighbouring police-court might repair the blunder. This was done just in time to complete the ceremony within canonical hours; but the accommodating clergyman afterwards received a stern admonishment from high quarters "not to do it again." Another case was that of an elderly widow r, who was so dull and stupid that it was very difficult to marry him. When told to give his right hand he gave his left ; when the minister said, "Say this after me," he immediately remarked "Say this after me." But when the words he was to repeat were given he was stolidly silent. "At last," says the narrator, "he saw that I was acmewhat bothered by his extreme stupidity, so in the middle of the service he upset my gravity by volunteering the following apology: "You see, sir, it's so long since I was married afore that you must excuse my forgcning of these things."' o:,e more sample. It appears that it occasionally happens that a couple who have been content to I e warried at a registry office are some time afterwards seized with a desire to be married again, as the law allows, in church. The "working arson" having one day got such a couple on the steps of the altar, Le was rather nenplussed by the answer he got to the questien, "John, wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife it " "Why, sir," replied the bridegroom, "I told you we was married two years ago."  On Sunday morning, the dead body ot Allen \none, a weaver, of liingley, was taken out of Os Leeds and Liverpool Canal, at Saltaire. Near it was the body of his five-year-old son. Vhone ;eft his home for a walk on Saturday evening, taking his two sons with him. A ten-year-old Eon thought his father was going to throw him into the wa'.er, and he ran away. It is believed that the man then drowned the other boy and committed suicide. His mind is said to have been affected.  The sitting magistrate at the Thames Police-court on Saturday sent to prison for 14 days, with Lard labour, a man named John Barratt,who was proved to have deliberately broken six window-panes in a dwelling-house in St. George's-street, East. The outrage arose out of the Tower Hamlets election contest, Mr. Johnson, the prosecutor, being a supporter of Mr. Ritchie, and having exhibited some of the right hon. gentleman's cards in his window. For this he had been threatened by Barratt and other persons, and ultimately on Friday night the panes were wilfully shattered with stones. A collection was made on Sunday in all the Roman Catholic churches in Great Britain in behalf of the Catholic School Committee. In connection with the appeal a pastoral was issued by Archbishop Vaughan, who urged that if Catholic Education was to be maintained and recognised by the State. properly trained Catholic teachers must be forthcoming. The pastoral concludes with the following reference to education and the General Election : "No matter who may be the candidate of. your choice press upon him your desire to maintain Christianity as the basis and form of public elementary education. Send no man toParliament , without having distinctly informed him of this desire."