The North Cumberland Reformer. — 1890-04-11 (Carlisle, Cumbria, England)

ROAST FOWL WITH CHISTNITES.—RORt SODIS chestnuts of a fine brown without burning then; take off the skins and peel them; take about a dozen, cut there small, and bruise them in a mortar; take lb. barn or bacon, and beat it till it is very line; chopsmall a handful of parsley, a few sweet herbs, add a little pepper and salt. Mix all together and put them into the fowl. Tte the neck very tight., and hang It up by the legs to roast before the fire; baste well. For sauce take some more chestnuts, peeled and skinned; put them into some good gravy with • little white wine, and thicken with a piece of butter rolled in flour. CHILD lEhutverrs.—One very effectual way for a mistress to provide herself with a good servant is to take into her house a girl who is little more than a child, and train her up from the beginning; but this can only be done by a mistress who is at once firm and kind, watchful and indulgent. Incessant showers of scolding words, and careless indifference, are alike fatal to such a plan. A mistress must remember that she has taken another child Weber family, and must behave accordingly; the child servant will need, in some respect/I, the same treatment at her hands as bee own children ; her health must be cared for her physical strength must not be overtaxed, her for, training must not be neglected; she is a charge, no doubt, but a charge that will repay all the trouble bestowed on her.— The Woman's World.  rActrrions Bostonian, who has occasion to send postal cards to a certain small city where there is a postmistress, writes this legend on the top of the card: " Please forward after perusal." lw San Francisco somb rich families are using the phonograph as a companion for the sick, a servant being employed to turn the crank while it sings, talks, and plays. If a phonograph is not obtainable a man might be hired to cheer up the patient by filings, saw in the sick-chamber. New Clerk: "This prescription calls for a drug I never heard of, and can't find in the books." Druggist: Tint is one of Doctor Richman's prescriptions. He uses faked-up names for simple drugs, so that patients will have to go to Catchem and Obeatem's drug store to get them filled. He has • half-interest in the firm." "I see. What shall I do?" "Tell the messenger we don't keep photographic chemicals. Then the family will get scared and hire another doctor." ROMANTIC Lover (to himself) : "She has refused me. She shall suffer! Iw 11 darken her life at the cost of my own. Ah, ha, proud beauty! You shall drag through the coming years knowing that • suicide's blood is upon your head." [Shoots himself. Curtain.] The Proud Beauty (reading from the paper the next day): "Mr. A. S. S. Softhead, a boarder at Mrs. Slimdietle boarding hours, No. 33,333, Avenue X, committed suicide last evening in his room. He had appeared unwell for several days. Thus one more case is added to the long list of sad suicides from la grippe." FIRST Chicago Man (from the east side) : "Say, stranger, can't you lend me a dime? My house and lot was carried away by the floods and I ain't got a cent." Second Chicago Man (from the west end) : "Poor fellow! Here's a dime. Now won't you please tell me where I can buy some water? There's a drought in my neighbourhood." FIRST Renter : «I understand big flats don't pay in New York city ?" Second Ratter (confidentially): "You're off there, my boy. It's the biggest fiats who do pay." Tn. servant (distractedly) : "Oh, mum, run quick, mum! Johnny's either (alibi' down the elevator shaft!" The mistress (in deep distress): "Go at once, Bridget, and apologise to the janitor." "bums are places in the Atlantis Ocean," the lecturer impressively said, "In which the tallest mountain ranges could be easily hidden from view." "But how are you going to move the ranges 10.• solemnly asked a tall, dyspeptic-looking man, rising up in the batk of the hall, and then the janitor pal out the lights. Ten grippe clutched about half of the members of a dramatic company in Pottsville, Pa., and the language of those whose utterance was affected by the disease was both bewildering and comic. A severe cold In the bead made the heroine of the play talk thus: N Udbadd be, villaid ! or dread a mugged wobad's vedgeadce V° Then the scoundrel replied, "You plead id raid! For years you have scored by love; but dow, dow you are bide bide for everbarer