The Herald of Wales and Monmouthshire Recorder. — 1885-12-05 (Swansea, West Glamorgan, Wales)

THE SENSATION OF BEING HANGED.  -A crazy Briton, belonging to the 'Suicide Club,' has published an account of the sensations of hangin,...He has actually tried it before the members ofthe club. It will be a pity if his narrative has the effect of diminishing the wholesale terror w hich the rope has hitherto inspired, and I fear it may induce some silly people to try hanging as a substitute for opium. At first there was a great jerk and he felt a violent pain in his neck; and after he lost consciousness the proceedings became quite pleasant. "He seemed tube transported into a new world, more beautiful than anything imagined by the poets. He was swimming, he thought, in a sea of oil. The feeling was exquisitely delicious. As he swam easily and without effort through the liquid mass he noticed afar off an island of ' the most glorious emerald green in colour. 'The sea kept every instant changing its hue. At one moment it was a mass of gold, as though the sun were shining brilliantly on it. The next instant it was a vivid blood red, but there was nothing terrible or disgusting in this new color. In fact, it kept changing to all the hues of the rainbow, yellow and red being the predominant tints. He got nearer and nearer to the island. As he approached it there sprang out soddenly from the ground a greit number of people, whose faces seemed known to him. At last he reached the land. . .  'Then a magnificent chores of voices, human and those of birds, burst forth. He closed his eyes in ecstacy. He floated calmly on to the shore and lay as a child in its cradle, slightly weakened from the enervating effects of the oily matter in which he had been swimming. At last he opened his eyes. The magic faces at once dispelled. The divine harmony ceased. The faces were still peering at him with an expression of eager curiosity, but he perceived that they belonged to the members of the club.' The pain in his neck was great, it appeared, but he was now in the entire possession of all senses. His friends cut him down and he was able to tell . .  then; at onee-wll3 e;pe—ri-en-ces- Although he drew a charming picture of the bliss whichhe felt, no other member would try his experiment. His look was quite ghastly. To the beat of my knowledge this lunatic is still at large.  "What is a pessimist, papa ?' asked a hotel-keeper's son. ,A pessimist, my boy, is a man who would find fault with heaven, if ever he got there,' replied the experienced boniface. 'What are you about, my dear ?' said his grandmother to a little boy, who was sliding along the room and casting fugitive glances at a gentleman who was paying a visit. am trying, grandms, to steal papa's hat out of the Iroom without letting the gentleman see it, for papa wants him to think he's out.'  'Mamma, are late suppers bad'? 'Yes, my child, very bad.' Wlat makes 'em bad I" 'Why, it injures the health to eat jest before going to bed.' Oh; I thought maybe it injured the health to go to bed right after supper.' Johnny was hustled off to bed as early as usual that night, just the same.  'Clara. what-makes you nit so close to George when he calls ? I hope you will not forget the proprieties, my child, 'Oh, but ma, George is dreadful deaf. 'Yea, I remember, your father I was troubled with the same complaint before I we were married, but now I cannot go through his pockets in the morning, without waking bun I up.  I 'Why, Gladys, what's the matter? You look as if you had been crying all night.' .oh, Er' myntrude, I fear that Marmaduke no longer , cares for me.' Nonsense ! What makes you think so ?" Why, I tried every way to get up • quarrel with him last evening, but he—boo— he—hoo—hoo—he allowed me to have my own way every time.'  Fair Tragedienne: 'And so you liked my performance?' Gallant Admirer: 'Oh, it was the very scene of tragic air! But lam almost sorry I went, I caught such a fearul cold.' 'Cold ! why the room was warm."Ves, but the room was so damp.' Indeed ! what could have caused that ?"The tears.' She gave him a free ticket for the season.  One moonlight evening an intoxicated indi. vidual, who had for some time been swaying to and fro, in earnest contemplation of a telescope in Union square, New York, finally mustered , his powers of locomotion, and approaching the !proprietor, said in a persuasive tone : 'Seers, you, se—say w—when you goin' to touch her off ? Morn a dozen people's the thing. Now why don't you touch her off ! •  What was the matter between you and another party, Mike, last evening f' inquired a merchant of Jiia Hibernian porter. 'Well, sor, you set it was a bit of hesitation on his part.' A bit of hesitation f"Yis, sor. You see I gave him the choice of my two fists, an' he seemed to hesitate bike, an when I see that he couldn't make up his moind, I jist gave him the two av'em for luck.  Miss Willard tells a beautiful story of how, is one of her meetings, the pledge-book was passed around, and a little boy who had listened attentively to all she said, took it in his chubby hand and carefully printed his name, and held it up to his grandma, who sat by his side. 'Here, grandma, write your name right here under little Fred's. Yen can't go back on your grandboy."l never thought I should sign a pledge,' she explained afterwards with tears in her eyes, 'but there sat that dear child holding up the pencil and book, and—l couldn't go back onmy grandboy. And now I'll join the W. C. T. 11., and help all the other grandboys.'  31EETLEMEN. WEAR TEE PEERAGE BOOTS, Registered.—Resembles the Foot more than any Boot vet made. Manufactured expressly from th 3 design of an Army Burrzeon,and under the care of most Experienced Workmen. Fits any foot. Gives elegance to deformity. For style, durabihty, ease. and moderate price is unequalled. The qu44tv of every pair is guaranteed. Thousan(L u Testimonials have been received from all parts of the conntry testifying to the exeellsncy of