The Shropshire Examiner and all round the Wrekin advertiser. — 1877-02-09 (Wenlock, Shropshire, England)

SOU 00 SO 0.1.10 a eoceUiLiGll  The 0,1;A or the Tennes=-,- deetorq are greater ihi Ne.., 11 ii The le , he ne%er uiil ; slid if ile uirs, itta rrlatirea kill ur. he wile rol.uw ng: ' wt,l  On the wl'ls of a Lancashire (.Inret, may f, seen the Anybody st eti,g UZ.liliPt this church !,,secuted a<cording to avv or any other  A young 771:7,W was asked why she was aging to nom id to s ,on at ter the dea t h et le, li,st hue mat. oh, la:" said she, " It to prevent retting wyeeit to death on account of dear Tom."  The ladies of St. Lrmis gave 1415, Neilson a recyt. lion, and Cheii lady &alined a ki,e, which the fi,ir se,ress g 1;14 fzrantk'd and now !he gentleitwn w,i.t to in her a receptlon, tut,.  ..;ineleeu of every iwenty persons who write a faatily letter, after closing an injunction to "write Remy ua Fowl as ynu can," tilt hack and devoutly emciaito, "Then!: goodness, that job is done:"  "Hare you tasted that new rink they've got up?" asked use toper of r.rn,' her. 'No; what do they cail it?" " Water, if I'm not mistaken ; and a little of it goes a great way. so they use it sparoig:y." The Mest in the way of suicides is that man in a German pris,n who turned on the gas, ,Ltt his not the burner, and inhaled till he was insensible. The attenciaL,s tound him, and he is recovering.  By rel)ink on our own resources we acqtrire mental strergth ; but when we iein on others tor support. we are like ;:n invalid who. h;ivinif accustomed himself to crutco, tide it diilicult to wok without one.  A. fast youth arrived at a restaurant. "What have you got ?" " Almost ev,rything,” wae the reply. " Almost everyrhing! Well, gtve 'He a plate of Ulu," "Certainly. One plate basil:" yelled the waiter. To see h w e,gerly a human being will catch at a straw it is not necessary to witness a drowning. The phenoine,m o POW in,nifested chiefly within bars, where one end of a straw is immersed in a tumbler.  Cleopltra ha always been wondered at for her extravaeanee in dissolving a pearl in her drink. A reat many no n in our time have dissolved greater fortunes in drinks than the beautiful Ilgyptian.—American pyrt  There is a growing feeling among the American people that the man who can hear a tellow-morial complain of a sold in the head, and abstain from telling him wnat to do for it, is the man ,rho should be the next Piwideut,  A member of an American club objected to the publics, ion of the list of the meetmg nights of the club, " because," he said, "if it's published, we married men will have to account for the off-nights." The motion to publish was lost.  Mr. Brown came home late the other night, ancl Mn. Brown, looking out of the bedroom window, observed, "ho you've been tipping the glass again, have you “Glasi.," said Brown, "that's (laic) a funny word ; take off tee G, and it's you. my dear." "Yes," answered Brown, "and then take off the L, and it's you," knd sbe slammed the window down with a bounce.  If the promise contained in the following afire!, tiseinent is performed, the linguistic powers of Balsam's ass will cease to be marvellous: "To be sold, -six cows. No. 1, a beautif ill cow, calved eight days, with splendid calf at feet; a good milker. No. 2, a cow to calve in about fourteen days, and great promise. The other two cows are calved about twenty-one days, .and will 'peak!, themselves. From Dublin : "Your picture in Slay Fair' of a fellow with sick e on his back, lettered 'G.P.O.,' puts nie in mind of a story. In the year 1843, in the height of the repeal agitation, an English newspaper Sian named Trevelyan, travelling in this part of the country. asked his car-driver what was the meaning of the letters ' G.P.0.,' which he s‘iw on the milestones. 'That's aisilv explained, yer honour,' said the driver; they're just put there to stand for God preserve O'Connell."  A t,,r, speak;ng in London against the new Mercantile Marine Act, complained of the power which, he said, the new Act gave the captains, and spoke bitterly of the character or many of the sioppers of the day. " Why," said he, "not long ago on the coast of Afriker a ~p'n wag goalg to throw one of the crew that Wag dyit,g overboard, before be was dead. itio the man fittyF, You ain't. agoing to bury me alive, are you ?" "Oh," says the e,,ptain, you needn't be so jolly particular to a few minuet."  Macdonald, the I,st of ,he Lords of the Isles, happening to be in Ireland, was invited to an enterta n'sent by the Lord Lieutenant. Tie chanced to be among the last in cowing in, and sat himself down at the foot. of the table near the door. The Lord Lieutenitst re ues'ed hint to sit be-sue him, Macdonald Relied in his native bongos., " What does the Earl say ?" On being told that. he was desired to stove towards the head of the ti.bie he replied, "Tell the earl • hat wherever Macdonald sits that is the head of the table."  Out West there resides a certain William Sini`h, teamster, who is noted for his i'dlity, and also for keeping late hours, as in, usually goes home at two o'clock in tbe morning. Well, one stormy night, about a year ago, Wfllitou resolved to go home early ; and accord,ngiy, :just iniOn,ht, in st,wer to his his mother pened the do 'r, and inguireit, "Who is there ?" Wililan, was the reply. " No," add sim. "you can't come that over toe; ny Willi:on won't 115 home for two hours yet." Poor Bill had to wait till his usual time.  MR.