Brighouse & Rastrick Gazette. — 1893-03-18 (Brighouse, West Yorkshire, England)

THE NEST IN A PAPER BAG.  There hung from a nail in the wall of a greenhouse in Buxton a paper bag containing seeds. One morning two robins flew into the house through a hole in the glass, and built their nest in the bag. Some time afterwards six wee robins appeared; and though one of them died, the rest thrived so well that thoir combined waipnt threatened to bring the  nest clown to toe mom. o4g WILII It burden had attracted so much curiosity that it was decided to preserve it from dangt r, and accordingly the nest was skilfully propped up. Of course a time came when the birds lett their home for good, but the bag was so much the worse for wear that it could not be used again for nesting purposes by the industrious robins.—Little Folks.  Young ideas.—Teacher: "What is the golden text to-day ?" William: "Dunno.'"Teacher: "It is Watch and—' %that else ?" William: "Dutmo." Teacher: "Think again. What did your papa do just before breakfast this morning ? " William (with animation): "Kissed mamma. How d'you know ?" How to put it. says it is not polite to ask for cake," said a little boy. "No," was the reply; "it does not look well in little boys to do so." "But," said the urchin, "she didn't say I must not eat a piece if you gave it to me." "Dan," said a four-year-old to his brother, "give me Oxpence to buy a monkey." "We have one monkey in the house already," said his brother, Who i it, Dan?" "It's you," was the reply. "Then, Dan, give me sixmnce to buy nuts for the monkey." The brother could not resist this appeal.  A very little girl was 3nce teasing her papa to take her to visit her grandmainnia,of whom she was very fond. But grandma lived a long way from the little one's home, and so papa said hastily, "It costs two pounds every time we go to see grandma, Amy, and two pounds don't grow on every bush, you know." "Neither do grandmas grow on every bush," promptly replied the little maid. Papa felt the truth of this remark, and could no longer refuse his daughter's request. Her manlen name.—Mrs. riggs: "Wasn't ears. Bigmoney a parvenu when you first knew her?" Mr. P.: "No; she was a Miss Smith."  Rivers: "The cholera bacillus, it seems, is shaped like a comma." Banks: "Then why don't the authorities knock its tail off and bring it to a full step ?"  Priscilla: They say that Clara's hair is not her own " Prune ha: "Do they ? I%;`,at a shame! Why, she shewed re a receipted bill fok it the other day." Giving inforinution.—Old geLt: "So, sir, you want to marry my daughter?" Youog gent : "Of course. You didn't think I wanted to marry your son, did you?" Her inheritance.—Asker: "Didn't your wife inherit something from her mother ?" Stuckley ; "Yes, a good deal." Asker: "What was the nature of it ?" Stuckley: "Mostly temper." Old Golder: "You want to marry my daughter, eh? Well, what are your prospects, young man ?" Young Cheeke: "I hope to come into a fortune some day." "Whose fortune ?" "Yours." Appearances are deceitful. —H is Honour: "Prisoner, are you marriel ?" Prisoner: "No, yer Honour; those scratches on my face came from otumbling over a barbed-wire fence in the dark."  Customer: "This picture of a snowstorm is very good. It--" Art dealer: "Good! It is so natural that we have to hang the thermometer in the other end of the shop to keep the mercury from freezing." A man in Michigan not long since committed suicide by drowning. As the body could not be found, the coroner held an inquest on his hat and jacket found on the bank of the lake. Verdict— " Found empty."  "Pleaae, sir, it was 9.20 when you got here. When we're late you always keep us after school," said tha smart boy. -Very well," said the schoolmaster; "you shall all stay and keep me after school, for an hour."  Little boy: "How soon are you and Sis goin' to be married ?" Accepted suitor: "She has not named the day yet. I hope she does not believe in long engagements." Little boy: "She doesn't, I know, 'cause all her engagements has been short ones."  A channel for literary aspirants.—"l shall find another channel for my article," wrote the author of a rejected contribution. "That's right," was the answer of the courteous country editor; "the British Channel would be an excellent place for it."